The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/15/11

2:01The reason that it's late is because Sienna is not the news girl anymore. I am. Well, me and Woods are kind of the news girls. Yes. Woods kind of gathers some stuff for me, and I kind of organize and deliver and, you know, really let you know what a difference Sienna makes. If you are just tuning in and you didn't know, Sienna, our news girl, Got laid off with a bunch of people on Wednesday. And like 15 people. And so we are, you know, a news girl down. And it's a bummer. But, you know, the show must go on. Blah, blah, blah. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years old. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35. LOB is our assistant producer.

3:02She's 30. Jay is our producer. He's 48, although he had to fly home this weekend, take care of his mom, filling in for Jay today. It's Cross. That's Cross. That's Cross. Hi, Chris. Morning. There you go. Look at that kid in there. So he's all grown up. Yeah, he's all grown up. He's sitting in the big boy chair today. Hey, don't screw this up, pal. Don't screw this up. I'm not going to. That's what Jay said to him yesterday. He goes, don't screw it up, man. I'll find out. I ain't going to be listening, but I'll find out. Yeah. I certainly won't be listening. You know I won't be listening, but I'll know about it. And screening calls for us today is Austin. It's Austin. That's right. It's Austin. We haven't had Austin in for a while, and he's screening the phone calls for us. So if you want to call us, go ahead, 570-1949. And also, you can text us, 949mikeygmail.com is how you do that. And the word of the day is copper. When you hear me say copper between now and ten, caller nine gets a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. It's very, very easy. And M1's a Mikey Show listener. You turn your radio down. Get to the point. Don't cuss when you call in. You know the rules. And you make new M1s all the time. You spread us virally on Facebook. You join our Facebook page, facebook.com slash MikeyShow. You get us on Twitter, MikeyShowMikey, MikeyShowWoods, MikeyShowLoren, MikeyShowJ.

4:27And you're a rabid fan, and most of our fans are. Lots of things happening, including Carmageddon. If you don't know what Carmageddon is, it is set to begin tonight at midnight. What they're going to do is, tonight in L.A., they are going to shut down 10 miles of the 405. 10 miles of the 405. You've probably driven on the 405 before. And if you have, then you know that the 405 carries half a million people on the weekend. The weekend. Who knows what that figure is during the week? But on the weekend, it carries half a million people. And what they're going to do is they're going to shut down 10 miles of it.

5:29So that they could do some construction, tear down a bridge on one side and then start widening the other side. One billion dollars. And they're saying that it is going to cause such hurt, sadness and fear that they are calling it Carmageddon. I mean, it's it's gnarly. I mean, this is Los Angeles. I mean, imagine just here in San Diego if they were to do that. And this is L.A. And so it's pretty gnarly. Well, I thought our state was in the toilet and we're going to go drop a billion dollars. A billion. We might have more money if we weren't building a super train between Los Angeles and San Francisco. Makes me nuts. We drive a train 100 miles an hour. This will help all the city workers actually get to work by widening everything. Because nobody can get anywhere in L.A. now. That is such a gnarly thing, man.

6:32They're going to have block parties and stuff like that for people that are just stuck, not moving anywhere. The businesses are trying to capitalize it on it. Holy cow. I want to know if anybody drives that route on the weekend, goes to visit a boyfriend or girlfriend or something, and what your plan is. I wonder if they're rerouting you, if there's a detour, an easy detour. It can't be over 10 miles. That ain't an easy detour. No way. That's a long detour. 570-1949. We have a story later about a sex pervert that is going to shock you like no shock you've ever had. It's insanity. And we're going to do that in a little bit. 570-1949. And then, Woodsy, what's going on with James Harrison yesterday? You were talking about him from the Steelers. Yep, James Harrison, linebacker for the Steelers, came out with some pretty gnarly stuff in a Men's Journal article. And basically the gist of it was, listen, Roger Goodell is, I believe he called him an anti-gay slur. And also said, you know, he's a creep, he's a monster, he's a crook, he's a pimp, he's a devil, all this stuff.

7:50also called out his two teammates, Rashard Mendenhall and Ben Roethlisberger, said that Mendenhall was a fumble machine and that Roethlisberger needed to stop trying to act like Peyton Manning. And, you know, Roethlisberger's a guy that's won two Super Bowls, so he kind of knows what he's doing in that regard. But you know what it made me think, Woodsy, when you were telling me about it yesterday? It made me go, I wonder if there's something to do with the collective bargaining agreement where right now he can get away with this without... you know, with impunity. Like he, there's something going on where maybe they're in this gray area where he's not on the hook. And so he thought to himself, not on the hook. I'll say whatever I want. It's the only explanation I could come up with because it's so crazy. You mean as far as immunity from getting fined or suspended or anything like that? Dude, those things are so salacious. Yeah. They're so crazy. They're so over the top that you would think that no matter who you are, if you say that. that you're going to be like kicked out of the league sure you know you can't just call the the the uh commissioner gay slurs you can't you just can't do that i mean it makes you look like a nutball right well he went to twitter weird and uh he said this statement he said i'm going to make a statement this statement will be my only response to the men's uh men's journal article so his statement basically is

9:10I did make comments about my teammates when I was talking about the emotional Super Bowl loss. Right. But the handful of words that were used and heavily publicized yesterday were pulled out of a long conversation and the context was lost. Oh. The old context. Well, it's not just context that he's saying here. He's like, hey, listen. Yes, I called the commish a gay slur. However, what you don't get is. I also said a lot of other things that were normal. And so, yeah, the press just wants to take the parts where I called the gay racial slurs and said that Mendenhall is a fumble machine and that my quarterback tries to act like Peyton Manning. And they just took those things. Of course they did. If we go through a grocery store and we find dynamite amongst the deli meat, we're going to mention it. Sure. It's freaking dynamite. Yeah, and he's like, well, I was talking about puppy dogs at one point. Yeah. Of course, they don't want to talk about my love and affinity for Sponge Cake. Talked about Sponge Cake. What about my anti-Semitic remarks? Yeah. Right. They didn't even mention those. Yeah. Oh, great. You're going to bring those out, too?

10:29Guy makes one anti-Semitic remark and you're going to bring those out too. First of all, you have to understand that my anti-Semitic remarks were made out of context. Taken out of context. The context bit gets me. Yeah, because you're like, dude, there is no context for that. There's no context. M1 Anonymous from San Diego. Good morning. Good morning. And if Stan is listening, we miss you. We miss you. Anyway, I've got some... friends that live up in L.A., and they've rented a couple hotel rooms down here in San Diego, and they're just leaving. They're telling me their friends are just, everyone's trying to take off today and get out of town while they can. It's going to be great. Gnarly. Yeah, they're running for the hills, man. Wow. And I wonder what you do if you live in that 10-mile stretch and you've got to go somewhere. That's what she does. She lives right along where they're going to be backed up right on her street, so she's not going to be able to get out or run her business or Go on errands or anything. My goodness. Half a million people. Closing down for the weekend and coming down here. Hey, listen. I mean, I guess they don't have a choice when you have something that... When you have to tear down a bridge, you can't just do that in the middle of the night. Did you hear what they're going to... They may... Well, they're putting about six feet of dirt over where they're going to drop the bridge. Now, if they don't crack the freeway, it'll open up on Monday. Yeah. But if they crack the freeway...

11:55That's a whole different world. Oh, my God. I just want you, for a moment, to imagine that on Monday morning, during rush hour traffic, it's still closed. Like a snow day. You'd be like, well, I'm not coming. Fire me. You know what? And I'm being serious. I'm asking this seriously. This is not rhetorical. Do you think... that that is tantamount to a state of emergency and that the city might say, we need you to stay home today. The city did say to stay far, far away from the 405. Even on the weekend. Yeah, they said, don't even think about it. So if this happened on a Monday when people have to work, do you think that the city might go on television and radio and say, you know, hey, listen, we're telling people don't do it. Just stay home.

13:01And businesses, please allow your employees. Do you think or no? Do you say... Because we're not talking to half a million people during the week. No. We're talking to half a million people on the weekend. How many people live in LA? A bunch. A bunch of million people is the exact term for it. A bunch of million. I don't know. You would know Hollywood. Hollywood! Hollywood! Hollywood! Hollywood! This next story is one of the creepiest stories. One of the creepiest stories I've seen in San Diego since living in San Diego. 32-year-old woman found dead at a Coronado mansion on Wednesday. Now, it's called Spreckles Mansion. I've never heard of it. I don't know if we're supposed to recognize that name. I don't think we are. It's the Spreckles Theater. I think the Spreckles are a rich family. And originally it was owned by them or something, maybe. Well, anyway.

14:04On Wednesday, two days ago, this 32-year-old woman was found naked and bound by her hands and feet and hanging from a balcony off the main house by a rope around her neck. San Diego Sheriff's Department found her there. And they are not yet prepared to call it a homicide. They do not know because it may be a suicide. Maybe that she hung herself. She bound herself and then hung herself? No, they were right. How does somebody bind their feet and hands? You're right, Woods. How can they not call it a homicide? I mean, I guess possibly you could. You could do it, but would you? No. Would you get nude? No, man. No. I mean, it seems pretty obvious. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but... Well... It was on the 1,000 block of Ocean Boulevard in Coronado. Happened Wednesday morning about 7 o'clock in the morning. 32-year-old Asian woman, they said, was in distress. 27 rooms in this mansion. Oh, my gosh. According to the sheriff's department. And then medics pronounced her dead at the scene. Again, her name is Rebecca Nalipa. And here's the thing.

15:34Neighbors in the area said she's the girlfriend of the owner of the place who's a doctor of a company. He's a doctor and a CEO of this company out of Scottsdale, Arizona called Medesas Pharmaceuticals. So obviously there's something real weird going on. Really, really weird. Pretty scandalous. And if anybody lives in Coronado and you know about this place or you're familiar with this place or any part of it, 570-1949, they're ruling her death very suspicious. Weird. Yeah, I'd say it's very suspicious. Somebody was missing. Oh, boy. And this happened, by the way. There is a 26-year-old woman. Who says that a woman tried to run her over with a minivan because she thought that she was Casey Anthony. I mean, are you kidding me? I mean, are you kidding me? Look, I knew she didn't get out of jail until Sunday, but you just never know, you know? I don't know what she's doing here in Chateau, but... Chateau, Oklahoma. Chateau, Oklahoma. Chateau. I don't know what she's doing in Chateau, but I'm going to run her down.

17:14She ain't out yet, but maybe that was just some sort of lie. Could have been a lie. Some sort of farce. Do you have like hayseeds ever believe in conspiracy theories like that? They probably let her out early. Get her out of town. But she ain't getting away with it. I saw her. She walked down by the courthouse. Not on my watch. Not on my watch. This is called justice. I'm going to hit her with the minivan. I'm a vigilante. Darn vigilant. I'm going to take mine. Confederate flag off the front. I got a bra on the front of the car that's made out of Confederate flag. I won't mess that up, so I'm going to take that off first. And I'm going to go out there and run that door. I'm going to hit her. I'm just going to hit her. That's what I'm saying. Good Lord. My brother's tow truck is unavailable, so I'm just going to use my minivan. Yeah, well, I'd use a tow truck. Tow truck would be better. But, you know, Dodge Caravan would do the same thing. Same thing. Get the same job done. 1986, that's caravan. Never steered me wrong. Literally. Yeah, let's see. Shirley Nally apparently was the woman that did it. And there's a picture of her.

18:35She looks like this black dude named Sully that we know from the Lamont and Tonelli show up north. Does she? She actually looks just like Sully. Oh, my God. I mean, I can tell she's a woman, but it's, you know, I think that, you know, I wouldn't blame anybody. I wouldn't be mad at somebody if they said, well, hello, sir. I wouldn't necessarily, you know, if I were on a jury, I'd go. I can see where they made that. There's reasonable doubt. Yes. I'll give you a pass. That's what I'm trying to think. Putting myself in their position. In their position. Yes. I'm saying that there is, in fact, reasonable doubt. 570-1949 is the number if you want to give us a call. So, speaking of Casey Anthony, last night on Piers Morgan, Hugh Hefner was on. And you know how we were talking about...

19:36I mean, the first thing that happened as soon as we heard that Casey Anthony was not guilty was when will her Playboy thing come out? When will she be in Playboy? There are apparently lots of bids flying in for her story now, for her to sell her story. There was a report that a porn production company, Vivid, had offered her a lot of money and then rescinded it. Would you ever countenance offering? a playboy cover to somebody like Casey. It is amazing the number of people that have tweeted me immediately afterward. Excuse me, Mr. Hefner, would you mind just for the, we're on commercial break, would you mind just for the remainder of the interview putting your teeth back in just for the remainder of the interview? We're asking whether or not we would do a pictorial honor, etc. And the answer is simply no. I wouldn't reward someone like that for... But what has happened? Even though you would know instinctively it would sell millions of copies. There are classic examples, as a matter of fact, historically, in terms of a black Miss America that we didn't do a pictorial on because she was a black Miss America and I knew that would hurt her. And other similar examples. Some people may think of Playboy as exploitation. I don't. Put her in there because she's black. I don't like black people. I don't like black people, so I wasn't going to put her in there.

21:07What am I going to do? I didn't get that at all. I didn't either. There's a lot of historical examples of it. People thought I should put Cleopatra in there when I first started the magazine. I was 45 when Cleopatra was alive. A lot of people historically thought I should put Cleopatra in there. But there was a lot of debate over whether or not she was dark-skinned. And as you know, that was weird. That's very weird. Well... At least we know that Hugh Hefner is... I called it. You said no, right? I did. I couldn't believe the statement was going to leave my mouth, but I said I think that Hugh Hefner has more morals. He's too classy for that. Yeah. Who's the guy that does Hustler? Larry Flint. Yes. He would do it. In a heartbeat. He published nude photos of Jackie Kennedy. That's the filthiest thing. When she was like 50? Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Yeah.

22:11Jackie Kennedy, dude. Oh, that's crazy. Full-on Serbian bit. The whole thing. The whole thing, dude. Knee shooters. Yeah, knee shooters, the whole thing. M1 Nick from La Costa. What's going on, Mikey? How are you guys doing today? Good, man. What's up? Yeah, I'm just a diehard Steelers fan looking to get my two cents in about the whole James Harrison deal. Yeah, what do you think? I'm really mixed up about it. You know, I can understand why you're saying it. I mean, if I was about 200 grand from you, you probably would say some pretty nice things about him. No. No, my, well, wait a minute. I mean, if my, you know, the things that I say are not predicated on, you know, somebody, listen, I just had a news girl taken away from me. Yeah, I understand. You know what I mean? and had nothing but nice things to say about your employer. Yeah, I mean, so... That is extremely commendable. I mean, now you tell me, bro, because I don't want to put words in your mouth, but Nick, it sounds like you are justifying. I'm a Steeler fan. Yeah. Hey, man, dude, I'll give you this. I mean, that dude is an incredible football player. Yeah. I mean, incredible. He's as good as it gets. He's as good as it gets, but that's, you know, clowny behavior.

23:38You don't call him the silverback for nothing. I'm just more upset about what he said about Ben and Rashad. Well, of course. Anytime you call out your own teammates. Can I ask a question? May I ask a question? Go for it. Exactly who calls him the silverback? That would be Steeler Nation. Oh, I did not know that. Nor did I. But now I do. And, you know, I didn't know that. All right. I had the same reaction when I heard it. My BFMC is a big Steeler fan. The first time he said it, I said, excuse me, babe? Did you just call him a silverback? No, that's not me. The nation calls him. I don't know. What do you want from me? I'm not. Well. I'm just falling into line, man. Hey, you know, I just got educated on this one. Didn't know. Thank you for the call.

24:38Let's see. M1 Cam from Oceanside. Good morning. I gotcha. So it was actually like the opposite. So it's the opposite. It wasn't that he was racist. It was that he wasn't going to exploit someone because of the color of their skin. Right. That's why people think Playboy is exploitationist and I don't. Got it. Well, I would have liked to seen her exploited because she was a very attractive young lady. I cannot think of what Vanessa Williams looked like at all. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Big old feathered hair like Farrah Fawcett, I bet. Yes, yes. George Bracer. Oh, hi, Antonio. Are you there? Yes.

25:42What's going on? It had to do with the girl-on-girl spread that Penthouse wound up publishing. And Vanessa Williams gone on to do a singing career, and she was in the movie Eraser. She's also done films. And did Penthouse do a girl-on-girl of her? Yes, indeed, yes. Oh, wow. Did not know. Late 80s, so I think that's what Hefner was talking about. Got it. Hey, thanks, dude. Appreciate it. Nothing wrong with that. Nerds Unite, and by Nerds Unite, I mean my wife, Rebecca. Why? Because Harry Potter was released at midnight. Woods, are you tired? I'm beat. Yeah, you're just beat up. Just there, just playing Quidditch. Not having sex. Did you know that Daniel Radcliffe had an alcohol issue? Yes, I did. Did not?

26:45We're going to let you hear him talk about it. I know everything about Harry Potter and Daniel Radcliffe, Mike. Of course you do. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Hey, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy. OPW. Yeah, there you go. OPW is in the house. Listen. The Padres have some pretty awesome games this weekend against the Giants. So, Padres fans, we've got to pack that place. Petco Park against the Giants tonight, July 15th. Padres-Giants, 7-0-5 start. Padres whiteout rally towel. They're giving those away. So that place is going to be insane tonight. Everybody waving the whiteout towels. We're going to wipe that joint out and beat the Giants tonight. It's Tim Lincecum, by the way. Want to take your kids out. and tell them, hey, listen, you've got to see one of the great ones pitch, but we can get them. We got them already this year. Tomorrow, 535 start. It's the Padres Rally Pom Pom, also against the Giants. And then Sunday, July 17th, it's a 105 start. It's Military Appreciation Day. You get a military T-shirt for kids. So if you want tickets, man, go get them, Padres.com. There's so many cool little parts of that park that you can sit in, man.

28:02It's one of the best parks in the country. We are very, very lucky to have that. And we got to get out there and support those Padres, man. So go to Padres.com. Get your tickets today. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's take a call. Hey, Jack, I'm trying to remember the name of one of your new sandwiches. It's so good. Which one? Well, it's a really big. The really big. It's got chicken. The really big chicken sandwich. Exactly. What's it called? The Really Big Chicken Sandwich. Look, I know it's really big and has chicken and is a sandwich. I covered those details earlier. It's called The Really Big Chicken Sandwich. It's got two crispy chicken patties, bacon, melting cheese, lettuce, and tomato. I'm aware of the ingredients. They were in my mouth very recently ago. Just tell me the name. The Really Big Chicken Sandwich. Right now, you can get it as a combo with seasoned curly fries and a drink for just $3.99 plus tax. It appears we're at a stalemate. Maybe you can help me remember this other thing I ate as a kid. They were chips that tasted like paint. Paint chips? No. Wait, yes. The Really Big Chicken Sandwich is back. Two delicious chicken patties, melting cheese, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Get the combo with small season curly fries and a 20-ounce drink for just $3.99 plus tax for a limited time at participating restaurants. The Home Depot has made a special buy on exclusive Hunter Highbury ceiling fans at just $89.88.

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33:18This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. Summer's here. It's time to bundle up bundle protection for your car, plus your home, your boat, your motorcycle, or more, and save. Call an Allstate agent to bundle and save today. Well, it looks like we've got a little bit of a backup here starting on the 94 eastbound at the 15. It's kind of slow. Some reduced speeds at the 805 and 25th Street. Cleared for you, though, on the 15 northbound at Carmel Mountain Road was that oil spill. It was on the right shoulder, so it isn't a factor at all. The 5 southbound after the 56, also starting to bunch up. This report brought to you by Kohl's Department Store. Don't miss Kohl's Super Saturday. This Saturday, get up early for over 100 early bird specials throughout the store. It's Saturday, only 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Lauren. I was the creep. Yeah. I was kissing boys when they were sleeping. How old? Number four. Woods. I like being out in the country, too, man. Throw a dip of snuff in, have a couple beers, kind of feel like a man, right? Sienna. I want to fly to New York just to go to the Pop-Tart store. And Jake. I can cry now at the drop of a hat. Something just sad happened. On FM 94.9. You'll notice that you're still here in Sienna on the rejoins, and the reason is because I felt like it was weird to take her off of them right away. I just think that's weird, so I don't want to.

34:49Word of the day is copper, and when we say copper, between now and ten, calling number nine gets four-packed tickets to SeaWorld. I did not know that Daniel Radcliffe had ever had any problems with alcohol, but today is the release of the new and last ever Harry Potter movie. So he was doing press, and he was on Today Show yesterday talking about this. It's come out in a magazine in which you've been very, and it surprised a lot of people, something you said. You said at one point, quote, I became so reliant on alcohol to enjoy stuff. Yes. Exactly. When was this? I'd say it was between the ages of about 18 to 21 was when that period of my life. I mean, I stopped drinking in August last year, so just after I turned 21.

35:47Yeah, and I suppose I just, you know, it was something that I thought to make myself interesting and to make myself enjoy, you know, my life. I did become very reliant on it. And I think there's a moment when you realize that something that is actually very, ultimately very destructive has crept into being a routine. And so that was the moment when I decided that... The amount I was drinking had led me to become unhappy. And so I stopped with the help of friends and family. And, yeah, the last year has been a lot more manageable and a lot better. I've been a lot happier. He sounds perfectly comfortable discussing it. It's been a lot less fun, I'll tell you, though. Yeah. I haven't woken up with my face stapled to a mattress. Right. Or one eyebrow shaved. Or woken up with a pepperoni pizza and I'm vegetarian. Right. And pepperoni eggs all over my face. Right. But, you know. I haven't had a dame in my bed whose name I didn't know. Right, right. That's one thing I do miss. And it turned out, wasn't a dame, but thought it was. Thought it was the night before. Thought it was the night before. When I was around the pub. Turns out, a chap's name was Derek.

37:11If I remember right. Derek looked bloody good the night before. Well, I said his name was Diane the night before. Live and learn. Yeah, I mean, I guess we live and learn. You know, that was what we called a breaking point, wasn't it? Thought I'd put down the bottle at that point. Yeah, I thought, you know what? I've made love to a man. It can't be any worse. And I think I'll have a problem. Next time I'll ask more questions. Instead of just going with it. Yes. Right, like, are you a... Are you a chap? Like when I see it and think, oh, that doesn't seem right. This is weird. Maybe I'll ask. That's old. Without the influence of alcohol. Alcohol. You know, a lot of people got the, you know, the moment of clarity. Mine was Derek. I woke up and Derek was spooning me and I thought, I just can't do this anymore. That's the end of wild turkey for this guy. No, maybe no more whiskey, eh? Whoops. Anyhow, Derek and I have been dating now for... We became great friends and then decided, well, we already clearly have the chemistry. Oh, right. And we've already broken the ice a bit, right? Might as well. I think L.O.B. just said good fit, so that's pretty strange. Maybe I tried to talk over that part, you know, famously. A little strange. What you did's called a callback. Right.

38:36You call back. What I meant was... I know what you meant. Chemically. No, I know. Well... Right. Pops, we just leave it there. Woods and I did a tweet up yesterday. Yeah. Went to Phil's Barbecue in San Marcos and I tweeted, anybody not named Harold can come here and... Oh, my God. Well, I did because I know. Harold's my buddy. Yeah. And I know him. He lives right there. And I know him. I know if I do that, he's going to come rolling. I'm like, dude, dude, come on. Come on. Before you could finish pressing send, Harold would go, hey, bud. Yeah. Yeah. I'll see you there in five. And so anyway, met a guy named Jason. Jason. And I asked him his name no less than five times. Correct. No less than five times. Correct. I have a problem with that, man. I do, too. I just do. Ditto. Better to be up front than to just act like you know and then just call the person, hey, you. I just call him Chief or Bub. It's good, you know. But anyway, a tweet up is where you go, hey, the first person here, I'll buy you a meal. So Jason came up and me and Woods bought him dinner. And then I went and picked up. I had to leave for about five minutes. Go get my son who was down the street and bring him back. And then Bub sat there with us and hung out. And then the whole way home.

40:00I played cash cab with the bubs. Okay, what's the question? What's the time when you are going to college again? I will go to college again in two years. Glung, by the way, is the sound effect that they make on the cash cab. Oh, my gosh. Like, bling. He goes, glung. And that's correct. You won. You won. You won. All right. Okay. Here's your next question. This is my four-year-old son, Jake. Thank you. Okay. It's going to be one. It's going to be a five-year-old. Okay. Ready for this question? Yes. Right. Here you go. Gin has a distinct flavor of a very nice coat of what kind of tree? Gin has a very distinct flavor of what?

41:10A what converse treat? A juniper treat. Let's ask a question about gin. Glong. Glong. Yeah. Gin gets its distinct flavor. Where did he get these questions? Where do you think? The cash cab. Oh, they were actual questions. Yeah. I played cash cab with Jake one day in the car on the way to church for about 30 minutes and thought... It was the funniest thing I have ever heard. It's so funny. It's so great. And he likes to play where he gets to be the host, and he likes to play where you're the host. And yesterday was great for him because it was the first time we'd ever played in the car. So he's in the back seat, and I get in the front seat, close the door, and I turn around and I go, where are you going today? And he goes, I'm going to Kidsville. And I said, okay, Kidsville is about 19 blocks away. And welcome, you're in the cash cab. And he goes, yay! The kid loses his mind. Loses his mind. That's hilarious. He knows he's in the cash cab. He's incredible. Any question? Oh, did you say mops it in one time? Mops it in one time? Mops it in. Don't know what that meant. But he really wanted me to talk about mops it in. And I don't know. I still am trying to figure that out. Every once in a while he'll say something real unusual.

42:38And I'm like, I don't know where he got it. Like when he said to Woods last week, you know me. That's how I do or something. Yeah, he's like, you know me. I'm all about it. I'm all about that. I go, what? I heard it from you. Yeah, he probably did. He probably did. He probably did. And he loves Woods, man. Yeah, he does. Woods had him on the VIP list, and it's in Woods' iPhone. Yep. He's got his, on his notes, Woods has Jake's name written there. It's hilarious. And so yesterday, Woods was saying, all right, my birthday party's coming up. I'm going to put you on the list. So Jake got excited. He said to Jake, Woods goes to Jake, he goes, all right, let's decide who else is going to be on the list. What about Mommy? He goes, uh-uh. Nope. He goes, all right. He said, what about Nita? Mm-mm. Wow. Wow. Very exclusive. I mean, it's... And I think he gets the concept. It's exclusive. Yep. What about Carly? Now, Carly's a 15-year-old that in his world, she's Tom Brady's wife. Yeah. Who's Tom Brady? Giselle. She's Giselle. Or like a Phoebe Cates. Phoebe Cates or, yes. Every guy. Or Mila Kunis or Megan Fox. She's like Megan Fox to him. Yep. And so he said, yes.

44:04To Carly. Carly's on the list. Carly's on the list. So I had to type her name in, put her on the list. Under his name, Jake. What I thought was interesting was the immediacy of the yeses and the nos. The next name was, what about Aunt Jamie? Yes. Yes. She's on there. Anybody else? Oh, yeah. So then I asked him his brothers. I said, Luke and Ryan. No way. I said, Luke. He said, no. No. Instantly, no. No. I said, what about Ry-Ry? He goes, no. No. And I said, what about Jason, our friend that was at the table? At the table. The tweet up, the M1 Jason. He goes, yeah, he's on the list. He liked Jason. Yeah. Instantly liked Jason. And then my niece, Alex, who he met at our fake baby shower, she has blonde hair. He's all the way in on her because he thought she was something else. I go, what about Alex? He goes, yeah, Alex can come. And I said, is that the hot one? Right, because that's what Jay had said. And Woods goes, it's my niece. Who's in high school. Who's in high school. I go, I know. I wouldn't try to say, you know, something sexual. I'm not going to make sex to her. I'm not going to make sex to her. Sex to her. I'm going to make sex to her. I was just saying, is she the hot one? Right.

45:13She's trying to identify. Woods, would you ever? That's so creepy, Jay. That's not what I mean. Would you ever take her to prom if no one asked? No, that's my niece. Well, I'm not saying to do anything weird, but gosh darn it, you love her. You don't want her to not go to the prom. By blood or by marriage? Not by marriage, but still. It's my niece. Well, of course. I'm just asking if you'd be a good uncle and take her to the prom. No, I would not. Okay, fine. I'll take her. And you can't take her either because you're almost 50. Well, yeah, I could be a chaperone. If they needed a chaperone, I could chaperone the prom. I've done that before. There's those videos on the YouTubes that have people asking older people. Absolutely. Marine Corps ball. Yeah. Marine Corps. I don't think, Jay, it would be appropriate for you to take my 18-year-old niece to prom. Yeah. Hey, listen. I know we make a big deal of what a pervert I am on the radio, but that ain't the truth, and you know it. Do I? No, you do. Question. Has she kissed a boy yet? Yes, I believe she has. What was it like? I don't know. I didn't ask her. I don't care. She's my niece. It doesn't matter. She's my niece. No, I don't care. I just wondered. Kim asked. Your wife Kim asked? Asked me to ask you. Did she? My son Jasper. Yeah. He's eight. I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I could.

46:36I could genuinely care less. I mean, I couldn't care less about any other topic. Why are we still talking about it? I don't even know why we're still talking about it. I don't even know. Obsessed with it, Woods. Yeah. Anyway, she on Facebook? She is on Facebook. All right. Don't care. Don't care because I'm not going to look her up. What's the last name? Anyway. Spelling? You couldn't spell it anyway, even if I gave it to you. That's true. I said one time in high school to a girl. That reminded me of your niece, Alex. Wood's niece is gorgeous. She is. And I was trying to make an impression on a girl in high school. And she was standing next to me while I was buying cheese bread in the quad. How much you had cheese bread. And she was standing in the line as well. And we kind of were at the line at the same time.

47:47And she goes, go ahead. And I went, no, it's kosher. I had never before that moment. And I've never since that moment. Have I ever said, it's kosher. Yet you've probably thought about that every day since that happened. And driving going, I'm an idiot. I'm a freaking idiot. It's kosher. My friend, Mike Duke, was with me. And as she went. I said, no, go ahead. And she went, and as she was ordering her food, my friend Mike Duke leaned into my ear and went, Oh, God. Oh, Mike. Oh, it makes my skin crawl. Oh, it made my skin. Oh. Oh, it made my skin crawl. It's kind of like when you say lame sauce. Yeah, it's exactly like when you say lame sauce. No, it isn't because that's cool. It's not cool. Lame sauce is cool. It's not in the same ballpark. No, kosher is lame sauce. I would never say kosher.

48:56It's a really bad sentence you just strummed together. That's a great one. Kosher. Yeah. You ever said any... Please call if you've done... I want to know stupid things that you've done or said that really embarrassed you to a girl. And you wished you could reach in and just take it right back. I saw a little video yesterday. And... The video was of the TV show, like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette. It was Bachelorette. And it was just a clip. It was only 15 seconds long. And it was of The Bachelorette meeting this dude for a date. And he shows up and she walks up and she goes, hi. And he goes, oh, you look great too. I didn't say you look great. Maybe you think you look great.

50:01Hi. You look great, too. I mean, I'm a douche. I am a big, flapping douche. Oh, I'm so sorry for me. Oh, dude. Someone did that to me the other day. I said hi to them. They said, thanks, so do you. Yeah, good. Yeah, good. Hi. I'm good. You, too. Idiot. Thanks, so do you. And I thought in my head that they were waiting for me to tell them they look nice. You should just yell out dork. Yeah. Yeah, dork. You're a dork. M1 Matt Damon from El Cajon. Matt Damon. How are you guys doing? Hi, Matt. How are you guys doing? We're good. How are you, Matt? Good, good. What's going on? So about five years ago, beginning of a relationship between me and my now fiance. One night, asked her to stop by real quick, bring me and my buddies.

51:08Right. And she's outside on the phone in the car. I go outside, grab the stuff, and I lean inside, give her a kiss, and I say, I love you. And then I quickly, and I say, no, I don't. Oh, man. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Reacted. Wow. Wow. Matt Damon. Oh, wow, Matt. Pretty smooth, right? What did she say? She was on the phone with her girlfriend, so she didn't really have anything. I just knew that once she came inside and it was time to relax on her own time, we were probably going to have a talk. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. This is right at the beginning of the relationship? Yeah. You already had her running errands for you, too, didn't you? Just a couple months in. You know, nothing too far. I love you. No, I don't. Had you said I love you yet?

52:07Yes, yes, yes. You had? Probably a couple months after that, I just said, I wasn't ready to say it. It just slipped out. So you had not said it yet. You hadn't told her yet. Oh, yeah. That was the first word of I love you ever. Oh, my, dude. It just slipped out, dude. I love you. I love you. Oh, no, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. Hey, you're lucky she was on the phone, pal. Yeah. Thank you, Matt. You love me? Oh, my gosh. That's hilarious. You love me already? No, I don't. Like, are the girls on the phones like, OMG. He just said he loves... Oh, wait. Never mind. I had a friend. She was a friend. And we were talking on the phone one time. This was about 11 years ago. We were talking on the phone. And she had people in the car. I could hear them. And when she hung up the phone, I said, okay, bye. And she said, I love you too. And I was so uncomfortable with that. And I wanted to call back and say, put me on speaker. Am I on speaker now? I did not say I love you. I just want everyone in the car to know that I didn't say I love you. And when she just said, I love you too, it was not in response to me saying I love you.

53:41And I'm not trying to make a spectacle of her. I just want you to know I do not, in fact, love her in a romantic way. And I am, in fact, trying to make a spectacle of her. Okay, truth be known, I'm trying to make a spectacle of her. But only because she unwittingly made a spectacle of me. Correct. And I do not feel for her those feelings that would get one to say I love you too. And I want you in the car to know it. I don't even know who you are. Wow. Oh, it made me so uncomfortable. And I remember it as if it were yesterday. M1, Andy from Mira Mesa. Hey, what's up, guys? What's up? So, one of my buddies from my work, it was one of the real hot days. It was like last year or something. And this real cute chick walks in. And this is a guy who... We work retail, so we work at a counter. And he will snatch any cute girl up in a minute just because he's that guy. And he's always, you know, and he'll always steal them from us. And so one day this cute chick walked in, and, of course, he grabbed her right away. Oh, hi, can I help you with anything? Did you need help? And at the end of their little conversation when she's leaving, you know, he wanted to say something like, oh, yeah, you know, it's good.

55:09Because they were talking about the weather. So they wanted to say, like, oh, you know, stay cool or something like that. He goes, oh, yeah, okay, bye-bye. Stay fresh. Stay fresh. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. That's a maxi pad. That's a maxi pad. Hey, stay fresh. Stay fresh. Hey, Summer's Eve, we'll see you. That's hideous. Oh, my gosh. Everyone at the counter stopped what they were doing and looked at him. And as she walked out, they went, stay fresh. Ah! Stay fresh? You know the worst part of it is when you try to correct and you go, hey, stay fresh. Not like that. I didn't mean it like that. I meant like, never mind. Cool, like fresh. I wasn't implying that you weren't fresh. I don't think you're not fresh. I think you're fresh. You're fresh as hell, man. You're so fresh. You're so fresh right now. You're freaking fresh. You're fresh. You're fresh. I'm fresh.

56:10Everyone's fresh. Oh, my God. Freshie. Down there. Shut up. Shut up. Down there. I'm sure you're fresh down there. Not that I know. I don't care if you... And he was talking about the breakup with Crystal Harris. His ex. By the way, if you are on the line right now holding to tell me about these things that your friend said, stay there. Because I'm seeing some funny ones, man. Please hold. Please hold. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. This is the sound of Jim's Chase Mortgage. This is the sound of Sean's Chase Mortgage. And this is the sound of Nancy's Chase Mortgage. That's because Chase checking customers can earn cash back on their mortgage. That's money to spend on whatever you want. A new lawnmower. A new grill for the backyard. Even some new golf clubs. Or maybe just lessons.

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58:34shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of Balboa and Convoy and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done as long as the sun keeps shining. Online at sunglassoptical.com. Vons is the place for summer because that's where you'll find great prices on all the things that make summer time of year. Like this week's sizzling Vons Club specials. Fire up the grill for Rancher's Reserve beef ribeye steaks bone in only $4.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet Large Red Cherries are only $1.88 a pound. And don't miss the big cheese event at Vons. Sargento, Kraft, Precious, and Lucerne cheeses are buy to get one of equal or lesser value free. Selected sizes and varieties. picnics, neighborhood barbecues, or just hanging out at home. At Vons, we're going to help you make every summer day a celebration. And when you're thinking back to college, you've got to be thinking Vons. You'll find stock-up prices on college life essentials. We've got it all throughout the store to help you get ready for campus. Save big on kitchen gear, bathroom basics, organizers, laundry, and more. Vons has everything you need to add a life to college life. Great prices on what you need for summer and beyond. Vons, ingredients for life.

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1:02:58There's no place like the neighborhood. Every night starting at 9, join the late night party at Applebee's, where you'll find the best happy hour in town. Wednesdays, it's girls' night out, featuring half-off bottles of wine, $5 martinis, and lots of surprises. Hey, San Diego, now is the time to catch a Padres game. They are heating up. This weekend, your Padres face off against the rival San Francisco Giants in a four-game series. That's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Padres games are always a blast at Petco Park. Do not wait. Get your Padres and Giants tickets today at Padres.com. This report is brought to you by Starbucks. Get a free tall drink at participating Starbucks when you buy any pack of delicious Starbucks via iced coffee from July 14th through the 17th. Refreshing iced coffee wherever you are. Well, let's see. We've got the 15 northbound Carmel Mountain Road. There was an earlier oil spill that has been cleared up. You do have some backup, though, on the 805 in both directions between the south end and the 5. It's just starting to bunch right now. The 5 northbound of Delmar Heights Road. Careful, there's an ice cooler that's in the middle of length. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego.

1:04:18Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I've got tattoos, I'm Mexican, I'm short, and I'm bald. Lauren. There is a thought bubble over my head right now. It would be empty. Woods. My wife hates when I pick my nose, I get my knuckle deep. Sienna. The only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. Our girl Sienna is no longer on the Mikey Show because she was a victim of one of the... Budget cuts they did here in the building. And I still got her on those rejoins because I love her to death. And I miss her. And as Jay says, it's our homage. Is that what he said? He said homage. Homage. Not homage. It's the end of the physical year, so it's time to do a homage for her. He also one time said that he thought that my son was really remarkable for being artistic. Autistic. That's autistic, Jay, actually. That's what I said. Artistic. Isn't it artistic? So sorry, Mike. Your son's artistic. No, he's... Never mind. Raised all that money for autism. Oh, Jay. Our beloved Jay. Hugh Hefner on Piers Morgan in just a moment. Word of the day today is copper. So when you hear me say that between now and ten, caller number nine is going to get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld.

1:06:02California might become, well, they may try to secede. There's a dude named Jeff Stone in Riverside. He's a county supervisor who wants Southern California to become the 51st state. He wants us to be called South California. Says that when you're in as much physical problems as we're having. It's a fiscal, Jay. That you need to take drastic measures. And he's saying that. That's what we should do. And it would not include L.A. County, but it would include Orange County and San Diego County. So it's an idea that he has, but most people think that he's a nut. And then speaking of nuts, how about this 19-year-old kid? Private First Class Christopher Eric Way stopped in Yuma at the Yuma International Airport for trying to get a small amount of C4.

1:07:03in his chucked luggage in a can of snuff. No way. FBI agents took him aside, said, yeah, kid, just so you know, carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. And by the way, you stole that, and we know it. Wow. You guys are going to make it tough on snuff users all over the country. That's right. And I'm one of them. Clown. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the Padres did not start the break the way they wanted to. They lost last night 6-2. Heath Bell gave up a homer to Aubrey Huff in the top of the ninth. That sent the game into extra innings. They have dropped six in a row now, so that's not good. But they will take on the Giants tonight. Well, not really, because I like the Padres. You love the Padres, but if they win six games in a row, you have to shave a big old Giant fryer cut in your head. That I do, and I'm not looking forward to it. Also, the Padres will take on the Giants tonight at Petco 705. Tim Lincecum against Dustin Mosley. There it is. Let's make sure all these guys are going to hold for me because these are great. Let's see. M1, John, are you there? Yep, I'm here. And can you wait? Yeah, I can wait. Just a minute, okay? Hang on. M1, McNicholson, can you wait just a minute? I can't do it, man. I'm on the job side. That's okay.

1:08:22That's all right, thanks. M1 Carlton from Point Loma, can you wait? Carlton, are you there? Oh, man, he had a good one, too. M1 Cowboy from Mira Mesa, can you wait? Yes, sir. Good, because yours was my favorite. Hang on. And then M1 Hulk from Claremont, can you wait? Yes. Okay, cool. Breaking news. That's the reason I wanted him to wait. We were going to get right back to that. The douchiest thing that you've ever said to a girl trying to make an impression, but you say something dumb. But there's breaking news right now out of Logan Airport in Boston. This was Delta Flight 226 headed to Europe and a Delta regional jet. Atlantic Southeast Airlines Flight 4904 headed to Raleigh, Durham, North Carolina. Neither plane ended up going anywhere last night. Passengers aboard two planes at Boston's Logan Airport got quite a joel Thursday evening when their jets collided on the tarmac. It looked awfully close, and it just clipped it. And the tip of the wing was just sheared right off. The larger jet, a Delta Boeing 767 bound for Amsterdam, was preparing to take off when it struck a commuter jet, slicing through its tail and alarming passengers. The whole plane jostled, so we rocked side to side. It was a really big shock.

1:09:36Just a really big shock. Kid just flying to Amsterdam to smoke some weed. Yeah, he's like, I really wanted to get to that coffee house as soon as possible. The commuter jet, which was heading to North Carolina, suffered major damage to its tail and horizontal stabilizer, and the collision came as a rude awakening for one of its passengers. I was half asleep. The next thing you know, there is a bang, and we all wonder what happened. The pilot comes on and says, we've been clipped by the plane behind us. Sure he did that in that super energetic way that they do that? Folks, you may have just dream jostled in the main cabin. That's because another plane collided with ours, ripped off the tail end of the aircraft. We're going to pull back the gate in 15 hours, so make yourselves comfortable. Let me come through here in just a minute and offer you some free beverages. If you want to get cocktails and spirits, that's $5 a piece. You do pay in cash for those. Oh, my gosh. It probably went like that. It probably went like that. Woods, he said it, too. Woods is like, he goes, you ever have problems at Logan? Seriously. I mean, that's where the terrorists came through for 9-11. It's easy. You can't use that word in public. What word?

1:11:22You know, the T-word. Terrorist? What? What? You can't say that. Well, it's that. And I think they've had problems with near misses at Logan before. All right. Let's talk to these guys and find out. What have you ever said to a girl? You know, you were like, oh, boy. She hadn't said that. I'm on Cowboy from Mira Mesa. Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. We had one last little group get together at the end of the school year a couple years ago. We're all sitting around a big table at a restaurant, and one of the girls, she was actually one of the better-looking girls in the group, told us about a wedding she had to go to over the summer and said she wanted to lose a bit of weight. Well, my loudmouthed friends just out of nowhere said, yeah, you are looking a little bit husky. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Dropped an H-bomb on her. Husky. Husky. That's when the room just goes silent, man. It just goes silent, and the first voice that you hear is a girl's.

1:12:22And she goes, that's so rude. You are an a-hole. You're such a jerk. Paul, you can't just say that. What? You can't just say that to girls. She's husky. Oh, my gosh. We're leaving. Hey, Chubbs, on your way out. Grab me another beer. Shut up, Paul. You're making it work. Chubbs, give me a shot. Leave her alone. Hey, husky, grab me something to drink. You're drunk. No wonder you guys are single. You ever heard that before? Brilliant. Yes, of course. Every girl has said that angry at a friend. M1 Hulk from Claremont. You there? Yeah. What happened? All right. A few years ago, I graduated from Pepperdine. And you guys know that Pepperdine's up in Malibu. Yes. And you get to see a few celebrities here and there. And I was at a party one night, and I see Misha Barton.

1:13:22And at that time, you know, she was really famous on the OC and everything. So I go up to her and I go, hey, don't I know you from somewhere? And the look on her face. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That just doesn't. Dude, that made my grundle. That got me in the grundle. Why? He knocked her down a peg or two. Don't I know you from somewhere? Hey, didn't you used to clean my house? Did you used to work at Dairy Queen? You laid tables down the... That little cafe, don't you? Hey, you work at the Applebee's in Inglewood? What did she say? Did she say anything? It's just like, almost like in disgust. Like, are you serious? Oh, wow. Now, easy. Yeah. Easy, Audrey Hepburn. Yeah, it hurt me a little bit. I was like, man, I wish I never said that to her. Why? I'm glad you did, too. I was being a smooth operator, but no. No? She didn't go for it. I did not go for it at all. Thank you, Holt. We appreciate it. M1 John from San Diego.

1:14:25Hey, guys. I was out with my wife, who wasn't my wife at the time. We had just started dating. And we're at Home Depot, and we're walking around, and we're looking at all the flowers and plants. Great date. Big spender, huh? Yeah. Big date location. It's a J. Isbell special. Yeah. We'll get a hot dog outside. Right. So what happens is Steve's like, hey, babe, if I was a flower, what would I be? And I was like, babe, you'd be a Venus flight traveler. Oh, wow. I tried to backpedal. This is where I tried to, you know, babe, I didn't mean it like that. Maybe a daisy. Rose. They have beautiful flowers. They have these big flowers. And she's like, babe, it's a carnivorous plant. Yeah, it eats meat. It eats meat. You can't get it around. I'm like, babe. It eats flies. It eats flies. Mac, you get it? She eats meat. Yeah. You get it? You'd be a meat eater. You'd be a meat eater. And I'd be the meat haver. The meat haver. You'd be a meat eater, you squirrel. You little rascally cougar. You minx, wouldn't you? Look at me here in Costco. Or wherever the hell we are. Home Depot. Home Depot. Home Depot. Home Depot. You look at me. He grabs your face. You look at me. Look at me, girl. You be a little rascally. Little greenish flat chap meat eater. Stick your tongue out. Do it. What are you shaking?

1:15:53You're trembling. Stop it. No, I will not let you go. I am going to let you go. Don't you? Don't you? No means yes. Come on. M1 Rust from Coronado. Good, man. Yeah, I wanted to tell you the story. Years ago when I was in college, I was going to have a party at my house, and there's this girl I really like that I wanted her to come out to it. So, you know, I called her up, and she was at work. Tried to get her to come out. She, you know, she declined, said that she had something going on, wouldn't be able to go. Come on, don't be a fuddy-duddy. Oh, my God. Easy, Dad. Don't be a fuddy-duddy. She goes, don't be a dork. Oh, my gosh.

1:16:54Come on, darling. You're being a fuddy-duddy. That just made my heart hurt. Fuddy-duddy. What did she respond? How did she respond? She acted like it was normal? A couple seconds and she said, yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it. Okay, yeah. Cricket it up real good. That's right. Don't worry about it. You don't have to come. That's okay. You're not a fuddy-duddy. Don't ever talk to me again. Thanks for the call. Hello. Babe? Tell me what you think about this. You can call 570-1949. We're going to do a Harry... Harry Potter spelling bee in just a bit. Yes. Harry Potter came out last night. My wife has lined up girlfriends to go to see that because she knows I would prefer not. Does your wife like that? No. Right, Woods? No. My wife likes guys. This email says, Mikey, I'm 29 and I'm wondering, am I stupid for moving forward with hitting on my sister's friend without telling my sister?

1:18:01And friending her friend on Facebook. She's 26. The friend, not my sister. My sister's 25 and gets mad at everything regardless. M1 Shank. Ooh. Saucy. That is saucy. It's your sister's friend. She gets mad at everything. So you're wondering, should you hit her up on Facebook? Should you friend her on Facebook? Well, fast forward the tape. If you friend her friend, the first thing she's going to do is say, Did you know that? Your brother? Yeah. Or worse, his sister will be sitting at the computer and see so-and-so and so-and-so just became friends. What? Right. And she'll pick up her cell phone and she'll go, he'll go, hello. And the first thing out of her mouth will be, what are you doing? And he'll go, I'm working. Now, what are you doing requesting Michelle?

1:19:03I don't even know what you're talking about. Slow down. I don't even know what you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Why did you friend request Michelle? I just thought you guys were friends. You're a weirdo. I have to go. No, you don't. I have a quarterly staff meeting right now. I'm actually in it. I'm actually in the meeting. Maybe feast. Maybe grow up a little bit. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about what I do. Don't worry about who I friend on my private Facebook account and who I don't. Why would sister care? Maybe I'm worried about it because it's my friend and you're weird and I know you and I know what you're like and I'm going to tell her. I'm going to slay your friend. Do you know that? No, you're not because I'm going to call her. I'm going to call her right now. I'm going to tell her you're a dirty pig and I'm going to tell her everything you do. That will actually make her like me a little bit more. So please do that. I'm going to lie then. What are you going to say? That you have herpes. No, don't say that. I'm going to. If you don't, she befriends her. You still might want me a little more. That's so gross. That's so gross. She's kind of dirty. She's kind of dirty. She's my friend. I know. That's why I like her. She's my friend and she deserves better. Than your own brother? I'm your flesh and blood. Yeah, my own brother that cheats on every girlfriend. I have to go. I have to go. Fine, go. Good.

1:20:23Why would a sister care if her brother dated one of her friends? Probably because she doesn't want to mix business and pleasure. Duh. Business? Yeah. It's pleasure and pleasure. Your business, her friend is pleasure, her friend is a buddy, and she doesn't want you making it awkward for her. Right, Elleby? Yeah, pooping where you eat. Yeah. I wish I had a sister growing up. Did you ever date one of your brother's friends, Elleby? No, we were not that close in age, but it happened with my sister and my brother all the time. All the time? I wouldn't say all the time, but enough times for there to be drama. Who would date whom? Both. It went both ways. Your brother would date your sister's friends, and your sister would date your brother's friends. That's rad. There's always drama. But it happened like... What do you keep... There's a friggin' bug flying around my face. Woods keeps shooing something away. There's like a gnat in here. Probably because of all the food we leave laying around in here. I think he's just excited that the gay pride parade is just... That's fair enough. I'm just working on my... Your sachet? My sachet. I got Chris. That's fair enough. So what kind of drama, L.O.B.? What are you doing talking to my friend? Why don't you tell me? Because it was always like, you know, they found out through somebody else instead of... Was there drama once it started? Yeah, always. Punches getting thrown. Punches? Yeah. Your brothers and sisters would punch? Not my sister.

1:21:48Oh, my gosh. You know, I think with brothers and sisters, I think they do that. I think brothers, like I think it's a regular, because I don't have sisters, but I think it's a regular thing with families that have brothers and sisters that you at some point as a dad say, do not freaking punch your sister. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean at each other. I meant at the guy. Oh, really? Yeah. Your brother would find out that your sister was hooking up with one of his friends and then beat up the guy? Not beat him up. Just, you know, throw him around a little bit. He would? And if he did something to hurt her, too, which every guy inevitably did because all men are pigs, obviously. Wait a minute. Your brother, your brother's friend would mess around with your sister, hurt her, and then your brother would rough him up a little. Yes, that's how it works. Holy cow. Sometimes if my brother would find out, you know, that something happened without his knowledge. What the? Man. What are you doing? Let me know. I got a call. You what? I got a call one day. From one of my best friends. That you were dating a sister. I wouldn't say dating. Oh, what? You monstrous. I wouldn't say. You monstrous. I wouldn't say. Fanged. If I had to say something. Horned. I wouldn't say dating.

1:23:10And so what happened? Oh, he was furious. Yeah. And we had plans to be out the next night. And I said, so are you still going to the place tomorrow? And he goes, yeah, yeah, I'll be there. I go, all right. I go, well, I'll give you one. What? I said, I'll give you one. What does that mean? I'll give you one shot. Just one. And he didn't take it. I go, I'll take it. You want to give me a shot in the chin? You got it. I stood there and he's like, he's looking at me and then he started laughing. He's like, oh boy, I can't do this. Men are so, it'd be so much easier to be a guy. Girls have to go to lunch and they have to like rebuild. We're wolves. We just got drunk. That's what we do. We just got drunk together and he's like, all right, it's fine. I really do believe that we're so much like wolves. Yeah. We just take what we want. Like horny wolves. Oh, I was, this one, the kid was just a train wreck. You know, God makes that thing of sex so powerful in us. We want to just make sex a lot. Yeah. Make sex as much as we can. Anywhere. It's very strong. Yes.

1:24:23Hey, girls want to make sex, too. Yeah, that was the. Who do you think we're making the sex? Exactly. That was the problem. It was she was the instigator. And I was the one that wasn't strong enough to be like, oh, no, I can't do that. That's my buddy's friend. She was like, come here. Bam. And I was like, oh, boy, I'm dead. And he called me. This was like he called me about eight months after was like, did I just find out? And I'm like and I had started dating the woman who is my wife now. How do you find out? A friend of a friend of hers. Oh my gosh, you didn't know. Yeah, you didn't know. I'm so sorry. My wife was real comfortable with that. I bet, yeah, I bet. That's great. She's probably still very comfortable with reliving it. Harry Potter spelling bee. 5701949. If you're a Harry Potter fan, the Potter movie came out last night. And if you're a Harry Potter fan, what do we have as a prize, Chris? Do we have some cool prizes? We have a pair of tickets to the ultimate opening day VIP party at the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club, July 20th. 570-1949. Isn't that smooth? How smooth was that? Call us right now. We need two listeners that are really into Harry Potter, and we're going to give you Harry Potter words. You guys spell them. And then use them in a sentence. Greetings. Greetings.

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1:32:21Boy, I'll tell you, if you are headed into L.A. this weekend, just be aware Carmageddon is happening in L.A. The 405 is completely closed between the 10 and the 101 freeway. Starts tonight at 11 p.m. They will reopen Monday morning by 6 a.m. Could affect the traffic coming out of San Diego on the northbound 5 and the 15 freeway. 78 westbound after Nordall Road. There is an accident there. You're backed up to the 15 and the 5 northbound before Washington Street. A car hit the center divider. This report brought to you by Check-in. Check into Cash. Check into Cash guarantees the lowest rate on title loans. If you've got another loan, Check into Cash will help you buy it back. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lenders Law License. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bert from Bird Search Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning. Being brought to you by Frost Brewed Coors Light. Coors Light is the coldest. Coors Brewing Company Gold in Colorado. Once again, we continue to see a fade-off in swells. South-southwest really swell combo is dominant, but definitely on the slow drop-off. Secondary northwest wind swells still showing up a bit as well, but equally as small. Looking at knee-waist-type surf on average, maybe chest-high with some pluses at the top spots, most open to that south-swell direction. Partly cloudy skies will reach it this morning. Looks like a chance for earlier burn-off.

1:33:43Light winds or calm the winds right now, south-southeasterly, so that's not much of a factor. Dealing with a negative low tide earlier, so that is a factor. It's affecting size and shape at all areas. Excuse me. So look for some improvement throughout the morning as that tide does fill in. Beach break's a bit walled up. Pick and choose corners, definitely improving. And then the reef breaks have some pop-up corners as well, but not a whole lot of length of ride yet. So that's pretty much what we're looking at for up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast. Go to surfline.com. Any authentic surf report can only be heard. Three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I'm not into it. See, here's the thing, too. Guy stuff, love guy stuff. I just, it's like cars. I love cars. Lauren. I can be sweet when I want to be, but I can also cut you. Oh, boy. Like a knife. Woods. Every day now, I'm questioning why I have five dogs. I spent my afternoon cleaning up. Trash. I'm not a farter, but I live with farters. It definitely makes me laugh. And Jake. What is the coolest thing I've ever made? We don't have that kind of time. On FM 94.9. Still have not said the word copper yet, but when I do, caller number nine gets four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld, so be listening. Could happen during commercials even, so be listening. Piers Morgan interviewed Hugh Hefner on a variety of topics.

1:35:21And by the way, we have a couple of people holding right now. We're going to be playing some Harry Potter spelling bee here. Now, Austin, we make sure these are definitely big Harry Potter fans, right? Got to make sure they're Harry Potter fans. Let's see. Hugh Hefner talking about his breakup with his now ex-girlfriend. Again, she was 26 and he was 106. Yes. I didn't see it coming. I mean, I truly didn't see it coming. I mean, look, the skeptics. Well, he means that his vision is to a point where he literally, you know, was saying, come on, you're 85, she was 25. How was this ever going to work as a marriage? Playboy girl, yes, but not as a genuine marriage. I was surprised that you were taking the plunge again at 85. I mean, what do you say to the skeptics who said this was never, ever had a chance? I think that's a very valid question. I think quite right.

1:36:24Right now, the day after, I'm asking myself the same thing. Just sitting there in a silk red robe, ascot. Where was my head? I did it. Yeah, Brandy Snifter. I made the commitment, quite frankly, because I felt that I had, in a previous relationship with Holly, not been there for her in the way that she wanted me to be. And I just wanted to do... Whatever would make the relationship work. You take that marble out of your mouth, pal. Well, yeah, it's not marbles. It's dentures. Mm-hmm. It's polydent. Okay. I had a relationship with Molly. It just didn't work. Hugh, your polydent is... My teeth are... It's your teeth. Yeah, they've... If you could do me a favor. Hold on one second. Oh, gross. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no, Hugh. Hugh, in the cup? You're going to do that? Oh, no. Uh-oh. It's like Richard Dennis. I mean, let me be harsh here about Crystal. I mean, do you think that she took you for a ride? Oh, yeah. I think an argument could be made that she took me for a ride, but I must say, quite frankly, it was a pretty nice ride. It was too heavy. I don't believe it. I don't believe they had sex. No? Uh-uh. I believe that she was waiting until they got married, and I do.

1:37:52You know why? Why? Because he's 85. I think that she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. We're going to wait until we get married. And then it was the reality hit her. And she was like, I can't do it. I can't. I can't make sex with him. Loose skin. I can't do it. He seems like a test driver to me. Yeah. Yeah. He seems like a big test driver. Very good years. And if she was faking it, she did it very well. She certainly convinced me that she was. I wouldn't even. contemplate the possibility of marriage if I didn't think that she was really, really committed to me. So, you know, if she was fooling and a good case can be made that she was, she did a very good job. Well, what about the fact that you were 65 when she was born? What about that part? Was there another guy? You're a smart guy. What does your gut instinct tell you? That there's more that we don't know. I think there is at least one other guy in the picture.

1:38:54I think there's something more we don't know. Would it really anger you if you discovered that she was seeing somebody behind your back? I am prepared for that probability. You think that's what happened? I think that is part of it. Probably some 50-year-old youngster. Oh, wow. Well, what did she get to keep? Has she got any money out of this? Yes, but not as much as she would have if she married me. I mean, how much has she walked away with? 40 Sherman. Well, she asked for a Bentley right before we split. So she got the car. Some broad riding in a Bentley. Unless it's one of those, you know, sports car looking Bentleys. Sports car looking Bentleys are awesome. But, you know, a lot of Bentleys look real clunky. Not clunky, but stodgy. Yes. Yeah, but still, it's a freaking Bentley. Yes.

1:39:57Can I get this new bent I see in the magazine here? See this? Isn't this cute? It looks like a sofa. What is that? It's a Bentley. What's a Bentley? What is a Bentley? Here, get it close to your face. Let me see, darling. See? Oh, it's an automobile. Isn't it cute? That's darling. Can't you totally see me in that? Totally. Come on. And then after we get married, we can make love in the back seat. Oh, let's buy one. Oh, do I look forward to those days. I love you. We have not made love yet. You said you're waiting. I am. I'm waiting, but I still love you. But the night that we're married, I may have you, right? You got it. My goodness gracious. I can't wait. My goodness. Let's go get you one of those automobiles. Let's go. Okay, let's go now while we're thinking of it. All right. Do you promise you'll make love with me? I... Promise. You're so young and beautiful. We have so much in common. Both like the zoo. Yeah. We like watching animals on TV. That's right. And at the zoo. Walking by us. We like that, too. We both like cotton candy. What, babe? We both like cotton candy. Oh, you're not supposed to have that because of the polydent thing.

1:41:26She got the ring. She didn't have to get it. As a matter of fact, to her credit... How much was the ring? The ring was, I'm not sure exactly. The ring was, I would say, around $60,000, $70,000. But to her credit, we had a dog. I have a dog. Charlie. And I love the dog. She brought it back. Named after Charles Grodin. I felt that I missed it more than she did. So she kept the diamond ring in the Bentley. Well, the point is, she gave me the... I'm not, what are you, auditing me? I gave her the ring. And did she get any cash out of you? On top? Are you writing a report for the favor? I gave her 40 bucks on her way out the door, okay? It's all cash I had on me. Well, how about now? How are you feeling, Huff? Do you feel conned? At some extent, obviously. Sure, of course. And is that even vaguely humiliating for someone? No, it's not humiliating. How would you describe it? Humiliating. Mortifying. Surprise, from which I have managed to recover in remarkable form. How did the public... I'm happier now, as I said, I'm happier if I'd gotten married.

1:42:52It would have been worse if she'd waited until he got married. Yes, absolutely. In other words, as Holly said, and that says it all, I missed a bullet. Mm-hmm. Guess so. They'd say that. All right. Let's do this. M1 Maria from San Diego. Hi. Are you a pothead? Yeah, I am. Harry Potter fan? Potter fan, not a pothead. All right. I don't know what they call each other. My wife likes it, too. It's on the fourth book. It's an awesome movie. And one cam shot from Chula Vista. Are you there? Yeah. Yeah. You a Potter guy? For a couple years now, yeah. Okay. Have either of you guys been to see the one that came out at midnight or no? Yes. You already saw it, Maria. Oh, look at you. All right. No, it was too good for me. It was too what? Too late for me. Too late. When are you going to go? Probably this weekend.

1:44:00Probably online gaming or something. Woods. Woods. Watch that. The rest of the call, all right? I'm going to have to leave. I love Harry Potter. Now, yeah, LV likes it. For sure. My wife likes it. It's two attractive women that are into Harry Potter. Harry Potter. All right, we're going to do the Harry Potter spelling bee. And, Maria, we're going to start with you. Ladies first. You ready? Yeah. Now, when I... Give me the word. You got to spell it, and then you got to use it in a sentence, all right? Okay. Muggle. Muggle. M-U-D-G-L-E. Muggles like cars. Look at you. Wow. It's a person who possesses no magical powers. So that was right. You're up next, Cam Shot. Your word is Voldemort. V-O-L-V-E. M-O-R-T. Use it in a sentence, please. He who must not be named is real name Voldemort. That's correct. That's right. A bit nerdy, but correct, right? I could feel my wiener crawling up into my body as we speak. Woods, I said that you needed to try to watch me. I want to turn my mic off. M1 Maria. Yes. Dumbledore. D-U-M-B-L-O.

1:45:35D-O-R-E. I'm sorry, but you added an O. It's actually D-U-M-B-L-E. D-O-R-E. That's right. Can you use it in a sentence, though, just for Fonzies? Yeah. I haven't got a clue what you just said. M1 cam shot. Yeah. You ready? Ready. Horcrux. H-O-R-C-R-U-X. Now use it in a sentence. There were seven horcruxes. I'm going to have a clue if that's right, but I... Take your word. Take your word for it, all right? All right. M1 Maria. Okay. Quidditch. Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H. Wow. Can you use it in a sentence? Harry Potter played Quidditch. You sure did. Real good. It's a match that involves bats, balls.

1:46:52And brooms. All right, Camp Shot, you ready? Gryffindor. G-N-D-O-R. You used an I instead of a Y. It's actually G-R-Y-F-F-I-N-D-O-R. You used it in a sentence just for funsies? Harry was in Gryffindor. You sure right about that, weren't you? Maria? Yeah. One last word. Hermione. H-E-R-O-M-E. Can you use it in a sentence? Hermione was in live with Ron. Now, what's the score, LLB? What do we got to do? Well, it's three to two, Maria. But she got to go more. Okay. So there's one more word. All right. Cam shot. You ready? Yep. Thestral. T-H-R-E. Thestral. That's Thestral. T-H-R-E-S-T-A-L. Sorry, buddy. It's T-H-E-S-T.

1:48:22R-A-L. And that's a winged horse. You know that. Of course. Of course you know that. Of course. Sorry about that cam shot. You gave it your best shot. Thank you for that, guys. Do a spell. Yeah, Maria. You little muggle. Thanks. No, you're not a muggle, right? Is that bad? It's not. How would I pay you a compliment in a nerdery? In the nerdery. If we went into the nerdery together. and I wanted to turn you on and impress you, what would I say to you? I don't know. See, I want to know because I want to use it on my wife. She's as into this as anybody. Like, I don't think that would work. Maybe you take her to... Yeah. Hang on the line, will you, Maria? Okay. Hey, Mike. Yeah, Woodsy. Would you let me try to use some of those words in a sentence? Yeah, absolutely, bro. Give me one. Okay. Give me a word. Horcrux. Horcrux.

1:49:25He will never see the Horcrux because he is a Harry Potter nerd. All right. In my world, that is correct. Wrong. Doesn't make sense. Dumbledore. He didn't have sex with a girl because he was in Dumbledore. Okay, good. Two for two. You're two for two on that one, Woods. Voldemort. His Voldemort will never be used because he's a Harry Potter fan. Is that close? I'm close, aren't I? I know I am. My heart's racing. My heart's racing. Three for three. Hermione. He never got to see Hermione because he was such a huge Harry Potter fan. Woods, you absolutely did fantastic. Dominated. Yes, you dominated in the Harry Potter quiz. I knew I would. Well done. I knew I would. Let's see. What facts can I give you about Harry Potter?

1:50:33The new movie's out today. It means a lot to a lot of people. My wife loves that stuff. Here's some facts about Harry Potter. Harry Potter's star is Daniel Radcliffe. He was addicted to alcohol. Uncle Victor Ford. Uncle Victor Ford put a spell to drink so much. Some of Voldemort. Silent tea, Mike. The boy who lived. Woods is in his coffin. Wait, Woods, don't go in your coffin yet. I'm going to get you with this one, dude. This is Harry telling Hermione something. He knows. Do you know who? He knows we broke into Gringotts. He knows what we took, and he knows we're hunting Horcruxes. What? He knows if we find and destroy all the Horcruxes, we'll be able to kill him. I reckon we'll stop at nothing to make sure we don't find the rest. What does it mean? What are you talking about? One of them's at Hogwarts. What?

1:51:56You saw it? I saw the castle. Androwina Ravenclaw. It must have something to do with her. We have to go there now. What? We can't do that. We've got to plan. We've got to figure it out. Hermione. Freaking nerd. When have any of our plans ever actually worked? With plan, we get there. All hell breaks loose. Glasses. Yeah. No sec. Ever. Played by a 55-year-old. He's a virgin. He's a virgin. Well, listen, man. It's a very popular thing. Can't take that away from it. As much as Woods wants to, you cannot take that away from it. It's not just me, pal. I'm kind of with you on it. Here we go. Let me give you some stuff here. Listen to this. So this is the final battle between Harry and Dark Lord Voldemort. Now, somebody call me and explain to me what all this means. They're arches. Okay, they're archenemies, all right? M1 Randy from Claremont. Hi, Randy. Okay, morning show. How you guys doing? Good.

1:53:08Last night, my son and I were coming back from this basketball game. I should say semi-pro basketball game. Atta boy. But anyway, out there by the Claremont Theater, there was probably 100 people standing out on the street waiting to get into the movie. Were they dressed up? Some of them were. So we yelled out the window that Voldemort was Harry's father in real life. And that they had gone to the dark side. And Hermione's slaves were on in the movie. And they were getting so mad. I love it. Oh, it was great. Oh, my God. Do you want to know? Listen. Thank you. I've done. Listen. I've done shocking things in my radio career. Okay. Shocking, shocking things. Because I used to be a shock dog. I no longer am. Do you want to know one of the most shocking things I ever did that probably caused the biggest stir? More than anything. More than anything. No, I want to know more than anything. We sent our stunt boy, Boy Blunder. They'd been in line. This is mean. Sometimes mean is funny. It wasn't. As I look back on it, I go, that was the brain of a 29-year-old kid that just thought I was so funny. What'd you do? We sent Boy Blunder out to this movie theater. They were in line.

1:54:37all night long. And at the time, it was for one of the new Star Wars movies that was coming out. And we sent him out dressed, you know, he was a large guy, you know, large guy. We sent him out dressed as Darth Vader with a megaphone to give out spoilers. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I love it. I love it. I think back and I'm like, that's off. But he was like, turns out that Vader is actually Luke's father, but only through the marriage of blood. And people were like, shut the F up! Shut up, dude! Shut up! It's genius. Mike, it's genius. It was mean. It's genius. That's not mean. Yes, it is. No, it is not. No, it is not. Listen. That is not mean. That is funny. What if you were in line to see the new casino movie and people gave out...

1:55:41spoilers to the movie. They're like, Henry dies at the end. I, A, wouldn't wait in line for a movie. You know that. It doesn't matter what it is. But, you know. What if someone gave you the spoiler to the end of The Sopranos? Yes! People gave me spoiler to Sixth Sense and I saw it anyway and loved it. I saw it and got mad. I knew. I never saw Home Alone, but the scary old guy from Home Alone passed away. You guys know who? Yeah, he's petrifying. He's a real scary dude. He looks like it. Yeah. Well, he, unfortunately, has passed on. Old Man Marley. Check it out, Old Man Marley. Who is he? You ever heard of South Bend's Shovel Slam? No. That's him. Back in 58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on the block. I don't know how much a dude that caught Jeter's 3,000th might have to pay. In taxes.

1:56:56is the Mikey show on FM 94.9. Why do we say that Fords are built for San Diego fuel efficiency? We now offer three models that get over 40 miles per gallon, the hot selling Fiesta, the all new focus and the clean green fusion hybrid. We also sell Ranger and escape hybrid, the most fuel efficient pickup and the most fuel efficient SUV in all of California. For those of us who like to get our hands dirty, the choice is F-150. Equip yours with our efficient new EcoBoost engine. Or take the hard-working 3.7 liter V6 and get class-leading MPG. If you're ready to get the most out of every drop, it's time to drive a fuel-efficient Ford from your San Diego County Ford dealer. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 40 mpg highway for 2011 Fiesta SE with SFE. 40 mpg for 2012 Focus SE with SFE. 41 city mpg for 2011 Fusion Hybrid. Ranger claim based on 2.3 liter manual two-wheel drive. Excludes vehicles built for Mazda. F-150 claim refers to standard 3.7 liter V6. Actual mileage will vary. Hey gang, old pal Woodsy for Clearview. Yeah, OP dubs in the house. For Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Tomorrow, everybody, is my one-year anniversary.

1:58:15from when I got my LASIK surgery done. I wore glasses for years and always wanted LASIK. Finally met Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and was comfortable enough after I met her and her staff to go in there and get my eyes done, man. And it was absolutely incredible. I got 2020 vision to start. Now my vision has improved to 2015. It's phenomenal. It's been absolutely hassle-free. It has been... An amazing revelation, man. It's been incredible. They're doing something really cool also. They are honoring the heroes of this community, police officers, firefighters, military personnel, teachers, and their spouses by offering a savings on LASIK. So give them a call today, 858-452-3937, or go online, go to their website. It's awesome, www.clearvieweyes.com. You'll see a lot of people on there that Dr. Feldman worked on, like Tony Hawk. So, I mean, listen, go in there today. Get a free consultation. She'll see if you're a good fit for LASIK surgery. So 858-452-3937 or online at www.clearvieweyes.com. Vons is the place for summer because that's where you'll find great prices on all the things that make summer the best time of year. Like this week's sizzling Vons Club specials. Fire up the grill for Rancher's Reserve beef ribeye steaks bone in only $4.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet Large Red Cherries are only $1.88 a pound.

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2:00:56A fast phone for fast people. Get the new HTC Inspire 4G for only $99.99. Only from AT&T. Rethink possible. 4G speeds available in limited areas and may not be available in your area. Learn more at att.com slash network. Two-year voice agreement of $39.99 or higher. A minimum $15 monthly data plan required. Other charges and restrictions apply. Visit att.com or store for details. At Miller Lite, we believe if you're not choosing a light beer with more taste, you need to man up. Not man down, because up is way better than down. You don't tell someone sad to cheer down. What's down, dog? A steamy pile and you just stepped in it. Your girlfriend's not wearing a push-down bra. It's called gravity, Isaac Nitwit. Can I be down front with you? All this down talk is bringing me down. So don't man down, man up. And choose a light beer with more taste. Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. You know what they say, there's a first time for everything, which means there's also a last time. And right now is the last time this year you can take advantage of the LensCrafters semi-annual lens event. Find a store near you at LensCrafters.com and hurry in for 50% off lenses, including bifocals, no lines, and sunglasses made with your prescription. You'll see a lot better with your new lenses, but you won't see this sale again until next year. So hurry in for 50% off lenses. Free and purchase required. Some restrictions apply. See store for details. Sale on September 12th.

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2:03:16This report, it's brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's. For a limited time, choose from a variety of icy cold soft drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. Looks like the 78 westbound after Nordahl Road, there was an earlier accident. They cleared it, but there is some residual delays as you head on to the 15. Also, the 5 northbound before Washington Street, an accident. Car hit the center divider. There aren't any lanes blocked. They are moving that car. The 8 westbound ramp to the 15 northbound. The disabled car going the wrong way in the middle of lanes, but CHP is running a traffic break. This report brought to you by Kohl's. Don't miss Kohl's Super Saturday this Saturday. Get up early for over 100 early bird specials throughout the store. Happens Saturday only, 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. And now back to the Mikey Show. My name is Mikey. I enjoy Apple products. Lauren. I mean, I'm afraid of the dark still, but isn't everybody? Woods. I am a connoisseur of 7-Eleven. Sienna. I line up the animal crackers and see how many different animals there are. And Jay. When I used to go clubbing when I was young, hey, I wore parachute pants and had handcuffs and bandanas. On FM 94.9. You ready, me? Just go get them. Yeah, my mixing board has our names on it.

2:04:51And there's still a button that says Sienna. And I still turn it on every day. And I'm not going to change the name. It's going to stay there. That's why you're still here in Sienna on our little things when we come back there. I'll tell you about this Jeter deal. The 3,000th hit coming up here in just a second. Also want to let you know. That the word of the day is copper and I have not said it yet. So be listening for me to say the word copper. And call or nine will get a four packet ticket to SeaWorld. CreateYourDesignOnline.com If you have, if you currently have a company that you use for graphic design, I would suggest dumping them for CreateYourDesignOnline.com If you are a graphic design company, I'm sorry. I mean you no disrespect. I'm just telling you, Jared at createyourdesignonline.com, there's nobody talented like this guy. He is the most talented dude at this that I have ever, ever met. And what he does is simply amazing. Judge is standing by his rule to keep the seal rope down at children's pool. So the seals and the people are mingling.

2:06:24They're walking right up to them. People are letting their kids swim in there and it's full of poop. It's disgusting. But they're saying, you know, the ruling stays. The seal rope is down. People can walk in there. L.O.B.'s got a little video of people just walking right up to the seals. She took a little video of people walking right up to them. Can't be good for anybody. My friend said she saw someone try to pet one, and the seal, of course, turned around, barked, and almost bit his hand off. Oh, boy. No, that's not very smart. Which actually translates to, my name is Fred. Beat it. I don't have hands, or I would shake it. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, I told you yesterday at the end of the show, the judge in the Roger Clemens steroid perjury case has declared it a mistrial. So Roger Clemens walked out of court yesterday and signed some autographs free on a mistrial right now. Also, to let you know, sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some! Also, Tiger Woods ex Elan Norgren has a new boyfriend. His name is Michael Dingman. That's kind of a tough name. Why are you just making up names? It's Dingman.

2:07:47Dingman. Well, this guy is a billionaire's kid who also has made his money doing something I could never do. He's an accomplished emerging markets veteran who's represented his father's interest in China for the past six years. Also specializing in Russian private equity funds. Sounds like my last boyfriend. You think that guy knows how to order a bottle of wine? You got guys ever cleaned his face off with a Ritz towel? Think he's ever been to the Riviera? Yeah. You got guys ever vacationed in cans? Ever woke up in a private jet? Yeah. And ordered a scotch? Yeah. And a plate of caviar? Is there anything filthier than caviar? Nope. Doodoo. Yeah? That's it. Good for Michael Dingman. The guy that caught Jeter's 3,000... Hit, might have to take a hit himself because he may owe up to $14,000 in taxes. Yep. Now, he's a cell phone salesman. And, yeah, the IRS has already let him know that ball that you caught. Okay, so here's the deal. He catches Jeter's 3,000th ball and he gives it back to Jeter. Yep. Which Woods is a crazy Yankee fan. Said he'd have done the same thing. You'd have done that too. No question.

2:09:12So anyway, as it turns out, that is worth a lot of money. And so he's got to be taxed on it. Well, what the Yankees gave him, he needs to be taxed on. And they gave him luxury suite tickets till the rest of the year. They gave him signed balls, bats, jerseys. And they're saying we got to tax him on what they gave him, meaning basically those seats and that merchandise. I read that he also got a World Series ring. Well, yeah. So then what had happened was people read this story and they were outraged that he'd have to pay taxes on this stuff. So I think it was Models, which is a sporting goods company up on the East Coast. They gave him, I think, $25,000 and a freaking World Series ring. So then he'll be taxed on that $25,000. He'll be taxed on all of it. Oh, my. So I don't know. I mean, it seems like he's... Okay, well, it's $14,000 for... you know, for the baseball and the seats and all that stuff. Yep. And so maybe the rest of the money is to cover the ring that they gave him. Yeah, could be. Well, you know, it's a nice thing of him to do to give it back. I mean, if you're a Yankee fan and you catch that ball, dude, I don't think you have any choice. Dr. Phil is a hero because he was walking down the street and a paparazzi started taking pictures of him and fell down and Dr. Phil was there.

2:10:41You ain't gonna sue me, are you? I didn't do nothing. I'm not a medical doctor, so I can't help. I'm not even really a head doctor either. I just call myself Dr. Phil for purposes of television. I ordered a Ph.D. online. It's from Harvard. Well, it's the R and the A are reversed. It's Harvard. The College of Harvard. It's from Harvard University. Have you ever heard of Harvard? Now, when you look at the diploma, if you just glance at it quickly, it looks like some bitch. That guy went to Harvard. I got my doctorate at Staff Nerd. It's got a little red bird on it. Fine school. I've had several papers published at Princeton. That's right. Well, Princeton. Princeton. Princeton University. Oh, well. Man, you look messed up. Sucks to be you. Check out your legs, son. That son of a bitch is broke. I think I see bone. And one Dig Dug wrote in and said, Mikey.

2:12:03This was a text. I gave our three-year-old a mohawk and my wife cried. I think she's unstable. Is that normal? The greatest part of it is when you're giving the wife the, what's the matter with you? Like there's something really wrong with her. There's nothing wrong with her. There's something wrong with me. Wrong with you that you even... say that. You're acting unstable. You're acting crazy again. Oh, okay. That's all you ever say. You're crying over hair. I know when you're crying. That's not... This bit. That's not normal. You're not normal. That's not normal. Why do you know what normal is? You're not a woman. You're not a mother. You should probably see somebody. You're not a mother. Make an appointment. Yeah, make an appointment. Do you stop taking your meds? I'll make you an appointment with your shrink. Yeah, you don't worry about my shrink. Psycho. It's a haircut, babe. Yeah, it's just a haircut. Oh. It'll grow back. My goodness. Where's dinner? Woods. Woods. End scene. Woods takes opportunities sometimes to just... Niggle. Niggle. Yeah, I like to niggle L.O.B. She's... And by L.O.B., you mean your wife. Right. And I think probably all women.

2:13:36570-1949. It's just a bit. Have you ever done the unstable bed? I did it last night. In bed. We don't mean it, but the beauty of it is that... They know they're not crazy. We know they're not crazy. But we know that we can take the opportunity to make it look like they're crazy because they're doing something that isn't crazy but certainly smells crazy. Can I give you mine? Sure. Last night we're laying in bed and my wife got a friend request on Facebook from a very attractive M1 of ours. And goes, huh, this is weird. And started looking around and accepted the friend request. And why would she request me? I go, I don't know, babe, because you're my wife. You're Mrs. Hollywood. You know what I mean? Right. Oh, wow. She wants to, you know, see you. Hollywood. And she's like, oh, that's a cute dog she has. And I said, yeah, she's really into her dogs. She goes, well, how do you know? She goes, how do you know? And I go, because it comes up in my news feed. Crazy. I go, are you being psycho right now? You're being a little psycho.

2:14:51Was she? And she just looked at me and goes, she just looks at me like, you're such an idiot. You're an idiot. Rebecca was on her laptop three, four nights ago and goes, do you know blah, blah, blah? And I go, I think so. And she goes, is she a listener? And I go, yeah, I think so. She friend requested me. Same exact deal. I want to say, oh, well, then her and I must be deeply in love. She probably your friend requests you because of the intercourse that was had earlier. That was probably the deal. Do you think that she's friend requesting you to get to me? To make me nervous. Yes. Oh, wow. She friend requests you? Why would she do that? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. It's not going to happen.

2:15:55I wonder if she friend requested you in the same way that Glenn Close left a rabbit. Yes. In the pot. In a pot. Is that, babe, I wonder if that friend request on Facebook is the rabbit in the pot. And now she's got me right where she wants me. Nothing to be nervous about, maybe. Possibly we have a lot of fans on there, so I don't know. Oh, really? You don't recognize us? It rings a bell. It rings a bell. Oh, let me rephrase your name. Like I said, it rings a bell. What's up? Two options. Your eyes looked away. No, they didn't. They just did it again. No, they didn't. I'm not nervous. I didn't even do anything. I'm just trying to eat my drumstick here. Stammering. I'm not. Stammering. Not stammering, babe. Is your heart racing?

2:17:22Well, you're kind of freaking me out, so it's racing a little bit. Are you sweating? I didn't have sex with this girl. No, I didn't even go to any basement. No, I'm not having an affair. No. She might have been. If it's who I'm thinking of, she might have come into the studio one time for Live in July. Yeah, a lot of listeners do. Why do you only care about the good-looking ones? Did you talk to her? Of course I did. What did you guys have to talk about? Our program. Like, you know, what time do you guys get in in the morning? You know, stuff like that. So she knows your schedule. Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding right now? Are you off your freaking meds? Why don't I accept this friend request? Go ahead. Just answer every question with a question. Go ahead. Do it. L.O.B., you are a detective. Yes. In fact, we've made it very clear that you are like a private investigator. Yep.

2:18:30Can you explain to Woods and I and every guy listening right now, what happens in the mind of a woman when she gets a friend request from a woman that she doesn't know and her husband is a radio broadcaster? Well, that's a very specific scenario. But I would think if the woman is attractive, a red flag goes up. It's not the woman's fault that she's attractive. No, clearly not. But we think... Huh, remember that old saying, keep your friends close and your enemies close. Holy smokes. Maybe you want to be sniffing around when I'm going to be out somewhere, so then you can slide on in and just make your mood. You noticed that I have a girls weekend this weekend. Oh, maybe it's your chance to see what my BFMC is up to. That is the first time that a thought like that, like, as she was saying, I was like, wow. Me and Woods were looking at each other like, this is what happens in the minds of women. Yes. Can I tell you? So we have that. That conversation you guys were just doing happens like at least once a week. And Matt, my boyfriend, is a very patient person. We had one. I think I told Woods about it, but I painted myself to be sane. And I realize now that I was not. We had a conversation. Matt's a musician. Yeah. And he told me. A good looking musician. Sharp guy. Great body. Strapping. Great body. Weird Woods.

2:20:01And he is a musician, and he adds covers to his repertoire. And he learned the Adele song that we've all heard a thousand times now, the Rolling in the Deep. And it was maybe like a month ago or something, and it was just gaining some steam. And I said, we were having lunch, and he said, oh, yeah, and then I just learned Rolling in the Deep. I said, oh, really? Oh, my God. Yeah, I just want to play a song. Girls love that song, huh? Holy. And he's like, girls, guys. I like it. I think everyone likes that. It's a big hit. It's kind of a hit. Oh, yeah. It's weird. It's so weird because can you name me the last couple of covers that you have learned? Oh, okay. You learned a Katy Perry song? Well, girls like that one. That song's not a... Maybe some Journey. Maybe you learned some Journey. And I got all over his... It's funny. You're not doing Rush covers. And I said, why? Can you tell me, babe, why you learned these songs seem to be predominantly geared towards females? And he said, because I want to have sex with women. That's why I did it. Bravo, my friend. You got me. Bravo. You got me. Yeah. You just cut right to the taste. And I was like, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

2:21:19Well, how did you respond when he did that? Exactly. Tongue in cheek. Tongue in cheek. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But it ended it, right? I mean, a cut right to the chase ends it, doesn't it? You'd think it would have. Oh, no. You'd think I would have realized the absurdity of the conversation that we were having. But it just fueled me a little bit more. Just to niggle away a little bit more. Well, I think it's funny you're making jokes, but really, I'm being serious. And I don't know. It's just so... I'd have kept it going. I'd have gone, oh, me too. Me too. I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I did it so that I could have intercourse with girls. L.O.B., I have an answer of why he did it. Why? And I know why he did it. Why? If you are a musician and you have girls at your show, guys will be there. Any place where the girls are, that's where the guys will be. Well, he said if the girls get up to dance to stuff, then the guys are all the way in. And then they want to request songs that the girls will get up and dance to. That is the only reason. Usually pushes for tips. Well, wait a second. What if it were this were the answer? I do those songs because girls really like them. Right. Well, that is the answer. Doesn't make you a creep. Well.

2:22:32And I'm a good looking guy and I'm going to sell what I got. Yeah. Flawing it. Yeah. Well, I've got these beautiful arms like I'm going to use them. Hey, babe, I'm not playing gay bars in Hillcrest. Right. If I were playing gay bars in Hillcrest, your boyfriend be learning YMCA acoustically. Well, that's what I said. I said, you know, no, I get it. I mean, I get it. I get what you're doing. I mean, you're using what you guys smart marketing. And he's like. Really? I would say my audience breaks down 50-50. And I was like, really? Then the guy's got to explain. Now he's trying to... He shouldn't defend it. He should just flat out come out and say it. He's got pie charts now? He should go, babe. I'm just trying to use what I got. I'm trying to get out there and get the girls. That's the whole thing. That's the whole deal. He's got to show her on Excel his last 10 gigs. That wouldn't really be a smart thing for him to say because I cannot attend 80% of his gigs because they happen during the week when I'm asleep. So he knows that the questioning would only further continue once I knew that that was the goal, which that's stupid. I know that's the goal. Can you imagine he must be when he plays a gig?

2:23:44that his girlfriend L.O.B. is at. And any girl that doesn't know that his girlfriend is in attendance, that flirts, he wants to, like, spray him with mace. He does the preemptive. My girl, hey, hey, this one's for my lady. My lady who's here tonight. She's the beautiful blonde right there. Let me, hey, hang on, everybody, hang on. Stop, stop everything, stop everything before we go any further. I want everyone to know that that beautiful blonde girl right there, her name is Lauren. She's my lady, guys. The two of you. She's taken, guys, fellas, the two guys that are here. That's my lady. In fact, I'm going to sing her a song right now. This one's called My L.O.B. I'm so freaking glad that she's a she. There ain't no girl out there. None of you.

2:25:07Better talk to me. Hello. Made him. What happened? Wiz of Wisdom is next. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, Chris. It's okay, Chris. It's okay. It's okay. Chris just made a caca in his pants. You can go check his seat. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM. It's Hillary with some shows for you to go see. On the 22nd, Johnny Votto's Boingo Dance Party. That's at 4th and B. A Perfect Circle played the open-air theater on the 26th. And on July 29th, FM 94.9 presents Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at the Del Mar Racetrack for a 4 o'clock Friday. Slightly Stupid hit Cricket Wireless on July 30th. August 2nd is the next FM 94.9 about the music show.

2:26:39The Bell Brigade will play the belly up for only $6. And Transfer played the belly up on August 4th. With a bunch of other good shows coming soon. Death Cab for Cutie, Devo, Butthole Surfers, Two Nights of Thievery Corporation, TV on the radio, and The Misfits. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Sunglass and Optical Warehouse has been the number one source for sunglasses for over 20 years here in San Diego. There really is no other name in San Diego for sunglasses than Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Now, keep this in mind. They're all over town. They've got three locations. Sports Arena, that's behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, onto Kurtz, and you'll see them on the left. Incredible selection. Really cool people that work there. You're going to love the people. They help you. They show you what you need. But here's the other locations. Kearney Mesa, Corner Balboa and Convoy, La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center. But here's what I want you to know. The optical part of it. A lot of people forget that they do prescription stuff. So you go in there. You're going to have a selection of frames that will blow your mind.

2:27:56Now, I believe in this company because I've been doing business with them for a long time. They're for real. They are for real. You want them, they got them, go get them. It's Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. This is the sound of Marcus trying to find a branch of his bank on the other side of town. Please take the next left in 17 miles. Oh, come on. You'd think there'd be one a little closer. This is Tony looking for a Chase Bank. Now, where's that new branch? It should be just... Oh, there it is. Marcus. Recalculating. Recalculating. Yeah, great. Recalculating. Thanks for helping. Tony. Welcome to Chase. Wow. You guys are opening up everywhere. Marcus. Again. You are no longer on the road. Wonderful. You are no longer on the road. Where am I? You can always rely on a Chase bank to be close by your home or office. With new branches opening all the time and a suite of new technologies, Chase continues to make banking more convenient. There are over 5,300 locations nationwide, with more coming to San Diego soon. Visit chase.com slash mynewbranch for your nearest Chase location. More branches in more places. Take a step forward and chase what matters. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Since the launch of the new HTC Inspire 4G from AT&T, people everywhere are having what can only be described as aha moments. It's as if little light bulbs...

2:29:19are turning on over people's heads all around town. Eyes are widening with excitement, faces lighting up with joy. Some are experiencing these aha moments while watching HD movies on the Inspire 4G's glorious 4.3-inch screen. Some aha moments are coming after shooting incredible HD video and uploading it to share with family and friends. And others while perusing the thousands of Android apps. You see, life is filled with aha moments. The HTC Inspire 4G just helps people get them a whole lot faster. A fast phone for fast people. Get the new HTC Inspire 4G for only $99.99. Only from AT&T. Rethink possible. 4G speeds available in limited areas and may not be available in your area. Learn more at att.com slash network. Two-year voice agreement of $39.99 or higher. A minimum $15 monthly data plan required. Other charges and restrictions apply. Visit att.com or store free details. When half off meets happy hour.

2:30:12Happy Hour is born. It's Dave and Buster's Happy Hour. Half-off cocktails and beer specials 4.30 to 7 p.m. every Monday through Friday. That's half-off martinis, half-off Long Island iced teas, half-off our million-dollar margarita. Which, by the way, doesn't make it a half-million-dollar margarita. It makes it full-on amazing. Happy hour at Dave & Buster's, the only place to eat, drink, and play. Go to DaveAndBuster's.com for details, hours, and locations. Clarence collected clichés, so every day a new cliché was printed out on his HP printer. Then one day his ink ran out, so he ran like the wind and bought an HP multi-pack. No longer between a rock and a hard place, Clarence finally printed to his heart's content. And while some days were as busy as a bee and others were dead as a doornail, saving money always made Clarence a happy camper. After all, a penny saved is a penny earned. Print more and save up to 10% with everyday pricing with HP Multipacks, founded a retailer near you. HP, hit print. Compared to single standard HP ink cartridges based on average retail pricing. The Home Depot has made a special buy on exclusive Hunter Highberry ceiling fans at just $89.88. Valued at $150, you get a ceiling fan for under $90 to keep things cool, a remote control to keep things easy, and a lifetime warranty to keep you from having to replace it down the road.

2:31:27All thanks to a special buy and exclusive Hunter Highberry Ceiling fans, just $89.88. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only. See store for details. I'm a bubble. Light as air. Effervescent. Sparkling personality. I float about a foot and a half before it's all over. But if I could, I'd float my way to Vegas. Ooh, tough break, bro. Maybe I'll make it. The first bubble to sip champagne poolside. Dance under the stars. I just want to dance, dance, dance. Life is short. Summer is shorter. Plan your trip at visitlasvegas.com. Today, I'm putting a BMW 3 Series to the test on the highway. Let's see what she's got. More power than ever. Check. Hold on. Toll booth coming up. What's more fun than paying money just so you can keep on driving? Same's true with maintenance costs. You see, most luxury cars have to go through a toll booth of sorts with every service visit. And those tolls can cost you up to thousands. Like the poor guy in front of me. Oh, that can't be fun. But not BMW. In fact, BMW is the only one of the top three luxury makes that offers no-cost maintenance. That means no service bills, just lots of...

2:32:49So, stop by BMW Center today for a test drive of the original Ultimate Driving Machine. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease the BMW 328i sedan for $359 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. This report is brought to you by Starbucks. Get a free tall drink at participating Starbucks when you buy any pack of delicious Starbucks via iced coffee. That's from July 14th through the 17th. Refreshing iced coffee wherever you are. Well, we've got some slowing here on the 805 northbound University Avenue. That's slow again at Claremont Mesa Boulevard. The 163 southbound that drive before El Cajon Boulevard starting to bunch up. And you have a backup in Encinitas on the 5 southbound at La Costa Avenue. This report brought to you by your San... Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

2:33:54And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Fried chicken may be my favorite food item. Lauren. You know what? I'm just going to eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. Woods. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run our dishwasher. I've never, never once turned it on. Sienna. I feel great because I love to go on walks and I hate to run. And Jay. I like mayonnaise and crackers. On FM 94.9. This woman, this woman over here. I just shared some of my stand-up comedy with Mike at the water cooler. Not only can you hang with the guys, but the guys are like, I can't do it. I can't hang with them. Get her out of here. Get her out of here. Sorry I'm late. Where the day is copper? Just jumped me in line for coffee, so. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. The Stooges. Front house. You're like a 21-year-old girl when it comes to the temperature in the room. You're not kidding, dude. I mean, he's like.

2:35:21Cold. It's freezing in here. It is cold. Meat locker. Oh, is that a jam? Look at those nips. You'll like that. It'd be 115 degrees though. A bugger. Here we go. Let's do some Woods of Wisdom. You got a question for Woodsy? 570-1949. Guy stuff. Even girls can call. Go to MikeyShow.com, write Woods an email. Woods, my girlfriend has her ex's name tattooed on her shoulder. I hate it, and she says, if I hate it so much, I should pay to have it removed. What are your thoughts on the M1 Anonymous? Saying get your wallet out. Immediately. You don't want to see Craig's name on her back. You always have to go to Craig, because that's your wallet. Craig.

2:36:41That was my wife's. Exes? When we split up, she started dating a clown named Craig. What was Craig and you call him? It's Craig. It's Craig and you call him Craig. C-R-A-I-G is Craig. It's Craig. It's Craig. It's Craig. No, pay for it. If you don't like it, get it out of there. It's pretty rad that she's even considering getting rid of it. So you flip the bill. I flip the bill. You flip the bill. Yeah, I flip the bill for that. Because. If it bothered me. Well, doesn't it stand to reason that it would bother anyone? Yeah, but, you know, I think it would bother. Well, probably not anybody. I don't know that I'd care. Really, there are some guys that are like, hey, check it out. Rex. Nice. Cool, babe. I missed it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, tram stamped up real good. Yeah. Yeah, Rex. Oh, Rex, huh?

2:37:47Cool. This I'll never forget. Yeah. Lower back. I say you pay for it. Why should she pay for it? What if she starts her treatments and then she's like, never mind. It hurts. Well, peace. Find a girlfriend. If you can't get over it. This next one says, hey, OP Dub. Yes. OP Dub. My girl and I are in college and she loves to talk just like all women do. Problem is her passion is DNA biology nerd research. She isn't super nerd or anything, but when she starts that head motor in the direction of her scientific research, I want to slowly reach for the nearest sharp object. I've been with her for over a year and I've been dealing with this since the beginning. At first it was pretty cute, but now I can't stand it. Sometimes she'll be sitting right next to me while I'm watching TV, while I eat dinner, and she starts talking.

2:38:54And what I do is I stare right at the TV and not even allow her in my peripheral vision in hopes that she'll get the hint. But she doesn't. I'm not this kind of person. I know that doing the dead stare thing is rude and mean, but I can't help it. And I want to stop. Sometimes I'll try to listen and then I'll start laughing. Because of how ridiculous I think it is that she's continuing to talk for as long as she does without acknowledging that I'm not acknowledging her. Dude, help me, please. Help me. What do I say? What do I do? And one abused ears. Have no fear. Your OPW is here. Okay. He's a sweet kid. And what he needs to learn is the tune out. And if you've been married for any amount of time, the women know how to do it and the guys know how to do it. I'm a tune-out master. I can look right at you. My wife will be telling me about office supplies or a client that she met with. And she'll be telling me about the latest and greatest innovations in highlighters slash pens. And I can look right at her and go, yeah, totally. I know, totally. Hear nothing. I hear nothing. And she is placated. And then I, too, am happy because I've literally heard nothing.

2:40:19Or my wife, when I say to her, you haven't seen blah, blah, blah movie? Right. And she goes, no. And I go on for five minutes telling her the plot. Right. And she goes about her business cooking or doing whatever it is she's doing. She's dicing up onions to make you tortillas and beans and stuff. She's thinking about when she's going to go lunch with Whitney. But what she's saying is, oh, I will do this as well. The thing that I've done recently, because Rebecca and I have been married for seven years, and I realize we're going to be married for many more years. And so I've started to cut to the chase. I've adopted a new thing where I go, okay, okay, all right. So what happened? Now, she recognizes that she's the longest storyteller in the world. She'll admit it. Second longest. To Jamie? Jamie. Your wife. Denise Woods. My wife. Your wife.

2:41:25Right. What do you say? I call her John Grisham. John Grisham. Easy, Grisham. Spit it out. She gets so mad at me. So does Rebecca. Here's the story. I'll give you the gist of the story. The gist of the story is Jake is going to be starting kindergarten. Nita is going to be his aide. And Nita is going to be going with him. And she wants to let me know that. This is the way that it'll go. Katie, who is Jake's aide right now, is going to be going to college in New York. This is the, by the way, this is the pacing. And I love this woman. She's loved my life. If she were ever gone, I'd be a mess. I couldn't function. But she tells a story in a long way. Is going to college in New York. And so we are going to need to find someone.

2:42:34To take over. And so I was thinking about it. And I had a few options. I could either. Who's it going to be? Well, I had a couple of options. Who's going to do it though? Who? Well, that's what I'm telling you. But who? I need a name. Give me a name. Just give me a name. Spell the name. Say the name. Please say it. Please? We go through the same thing, don't we? Yes. L.O.B., do you tell your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, long stories? Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Yay! I have a lot of tangents, so I go off on, oh, oh, and, well, this is why I forgot to tell you. Oh, my God. So, this girl, remember what I was telling you last week? Babe, are you listening? What did I say? Oh, my gosh. Repeat it back to me. It's inborn.

2:43:45You know what the worst one is? What? The worst one is the mentioning of people you don't know who they are. Right. I'm good about that. I am too. Well, you know, from what I do on the radio, I got to say my wife, Rebecca. Yep. Okay? Now, Rebecca doesn't do this, but you know the people that'll go. So, John said the other day, because he had been down to Q4. Who's John? John from the sales department. Right. Oh, okay. And so anyway, so he was at Q4 and Q4 wasn't open. So he was like, oh, that doesn't matter. I'll go to T61. And I'm like, why would he even do that? You're like, what's Q4 and what's T61? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I sometimes have to do a moratorium on work talk. And that goes for me, too. Sometimes I want to talk about something other than our show or other than Staples, where she works at Staples Corporate. I want to talk about, like, something else. 570-1949. This is M1 Ethan from Del Mar. Are you there, Ethan? Go ahead. I have a question for people to try and answer. Go ahead. If hot dogs are not sandwiches, what are they? Okay, I can answer that question. If a hot dog isn't a sandwich, what is it? I'll tell you what it is. It is, it's an MRE.

2:45:20It's a meal ready to eat. I got you. I got you. It is. And that's a great question because it isn't a snack. All right. And most people would not consider a hot dog a sandwich. But what the hell is it if it isn't a sandwich? Because it is meat in between two pieces of bread. And I'll tell you what it is. It's a meal ready to eat. It's an MRE. Exactly. Thank you. And those things are pretty good, too. They are. Thank you. Thank you, Ethan. A riddle. Smoking marijuana cigarettes perhaps this morning. $25 million in advanced ticket sales, ladies and gentlemen. For the motion picture, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Woods has gone into his coffin. It's been 12 years. They said that even in Dalton, Georgia, a very small town in Georgia, Potter fans came out in droves dressed as their favorite characters.

2:46:34From the Harry Potter franchise. As we mentioned earlier, this is the final battle between Lord... Excuse me. Dark Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter. Lauren, what's their problem with each other? I don't necessarily know the origin. But why do they not like each other? They're from like... Well, Harry Potter is kind of like a golden child, but also like a trouble... His family didn't like him and all this stuff. So they are kind of like Potter. But they know that he's smarter than him. So what's Voldemort still? I don't know. He's just dark. It's kind of like the age-old good and evil sort of battle. But I haven't seen every movie start to finish. I thought you read the books or something. I did. But not all of them. I jumped in in the middle. I'll ask my wife. I'm going to put a hot poker in my butt.

2:47:43I understand that. I wouldn't go see that movie for $500. That's a true statement. I believe it. That's a true statement. Let me tell you something. He could use the $500 and he wouldn't do it. He would not. Wouldn't do it. Really? Couldn't do it. Alright, I got something for you. Unless I could sleep first. Which I would. Woods won't watch $300. Yes, I will. Cartoon. Comic. A couple of things. Governor Jerry Brown signed a landmark bill adding lessons about gay history to social studies classes in California public schools. He's a Democrat. He signed it on Thursday, making California the first state in the nation to require public schools to include the contributions of gays and lesbians in social studies curriculum. Of course, marking the first time that we have pointed out the contributions.

2:48:50But from someone based on the way that they have sexual intercourse. What do you think? 570-1949. Well, I guess I don't really have a problem with it. Here's why. Because I can tell my kid what I think about it. Tell my kid what I think about it. I wouldn't pull my kid out of that class. Now, what I do think is that culturally we're going. This is something that is okay. And our culture says is okay. I say, well, that behavior in and of itself is not. But I could teach my kid that. I'll say, yeah, you know, mom and dad, we don't believe that that behavior is okay. So we have an opportunity to be able to teach our kid what we want. What do you think? 570-1949.

2:50:00Do you have a problem with them adding contributions of gays and lesbians into social studies curriculum? See, I don't have a problem with it, but you can't have a problem with me having a problem with homosexuality. And by the way, make a distinction here. Not homosexuals. Homosexuality. Right. They can have a problem with you having a problem with it. They can have a problem. Just like you're entitled to have a problem with it. Sure. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's a vicious circle. But this is what I don't want you to call me. A bigot. Don't call me a bigot. Because I'm not a bigot. I just don't believe that the behavior is okay. I don't believe that. And furthermore. I don't believe it because the culture says that it's okay. Culture says lots of things okay. The culture says that lots of things are okay that I don't believe are okay. Now, as time goes by, our culture says that various things are okay that we used to not. Okay? Agreed? Yes. Okay. Some people call that progress. Okay? A lot of people would say, well, yeah, that's progress. We're figuring it out. Okay.

2:51:27Let me ask you, if our grandchildren lived in a world, lived in a world where a grandfather falls in love with his 20 year old grandson and they get married and have sex. If that happens, would we think that that's weird? I think we would. And I think we would go, that is that's wrong because that's incest. Correct. Correct. And I have a feeling that we might hear, oh my gosh, with that kind of bigoted word, incest. That is the kind of word that is reserved for like brother, sister. Don't pull that word with two consenting adults that it's not hurting anybody. It's not like they're going to have a baby, grandpa. Gosh, you're so...

2:52:30Oh, my gosh. You just made me throw up my mouth. You know what? My grandfather was born in 1970. Enough said. Sorry, guys. That's why he says crackpot stuff like that. I have to apologize for him all the time at the early bird here at Applebee's because he just says weird stuff like he uses words like I-N-C-E-S-T. He's weird. M1 Paul from Rancho Bernardo. I'm assuming you probably think that homosexuality is a choice then, right? No, I do not. You don't. So then why would you have any... Well, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait. Do you mean, when you ask that question, do you mean, do I think that they were born as homosexuals? Yes, that's my question. Yes, I do. You do? Well, then how could you have a problem with anything like that being caught at all? I mean, I know you're just asking what we think, but...

2:53:28Do you have a problem with homosexuality? Why is that? Do you feel your marriage is threatened or your kids might choose that path? No, no, no, no, no, no. I believe that homosexuals are born with a proclivity towards the same sex. Okay, and why is that wrong? Well, that in and of itself isn't wrong. I thought you said homosexuality was wrong. No, no, no. Well, let me explain. Let me be really clear. The act... of homosexual sex is what i believe is wrong okay god doesn't make mistakes though right no so he created those people to be that way yes yeah okay interesting so why would he create something that's wrong like that just to show you to give you the contrast in life well i don't know that's a that's a really that's a really fantastically wonderful philosophical question and i don't know i really don't know uh I mean, I got one for you. Okay. What about cancer? I mean, if... Well, that's... Okay, well, wait. What about... Well, wait, wait. If God were good, why would he give people cancer? Cancer kills people. Homosexuality doesn't. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. But there are things that happen from homosexual sex that can end in death, correct? Well, there's... AIDS can come from a new numerous thing. That doesn't mean that that's the only way you can get it. Right, but you can't... But you can't argue...

2:54:59Hang on a minute. You can't argue this, though. You can't argue that the CDC, if we go onto the CDC website right now, you can't argue statistical data on that epidemic. And you know that statistically, it's, but that's not, that's not the, you know, we can go up. Most AIDS come from heterosexual. No, they do not. No, they don't. No, they don't. But no, they don't. That's not true. That's not true. Because they don't wear condoms over there, man, in Africa. That's where most of our AIDS cases in the world are. I understand. But, I mean, the debate, I think, that you and I were having was whether or not I think that the act of it is wrong. And that I do. Why would he create human beings that would have proclivity to have acts that are wrong? Why would he create me with a proclivity for alcohol and drugs? And he did. I am an addict through and through. You were born that way. Yes, I was. There was no environmental cause to that whatsoever. Well, I mean, there was alcohol. That was there, available to you. There was alcohol. But when I say that I'm an addict, I'm an addict. I can be addicted to anything. Pills, sex. You would be an alcoholic even without alcohol, even if it didn't exist. You are correct. You are correct.

2:56:20I would be an addict. People are homosexuals even if there was no opportunity for them to engage in homosexual sex in their entire life. Well, yeah. Yes. If there was a guy born and he's a gay guy and he lives out in the wilderness and there's no one else there to care for him, that doesn't mean that he isn't gay. Do you believe in the praying the gay away thing, too? I don't know what that is. You know, the programs that certain people have, like Michelle Bachman's husband, who runs a facility that actually encourages people to sign up if they're gay. get away their homosexual feelings and turn them heterosexual. Yeah, they try to turn them. Trying to get them to be turned on for females, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, here's the thing, man. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. I don't know. And I'll tell you what. Will you hold with me through the break? Yeah, why not? Hang on. Hold with me through the break, and we'll discuss on FM 94.9. Hey, gang, it's OPW. OPW! Yeah, I got to tell you, man. The Padres, well, they didn't win last night. But listen, we got to get some fans out there to support this bunch, all right? They're going to take the next three in a row from the Giants. Starting tonight, July 15th, Padres against the Giants at 7.05. Tonight's the wide-out rally towel. Plus, there's post-game fireworks. So if you got little ones, they love the fireworks, take them out there. Saturday, July 16th, Padres against the Giants again, 5.35. The Padres rally pom-pom. Okay, they're giving away the rally pom-poms out there.

2:57:54Sunday, July 17th, Padres against the Giants at 1.05 p.m. It's Military Appreciation Day and military t-shirt for all kids. Get your tickets today at Padres.com. Listen, Petco Park, one of the most beautiful parks in this country. It is such... Cool experience to go down there and watch the Pods take on the Giants. Giants are the world champions, man. We'll tip our hat to them, but let's go out and take the next three in a row from them. Padres Giants this weekend at Petco. Get your tickets today at Padres.com. Now, during Toyota's summer of savings, it's great deals, great selection, and a great time to buy. Yes, save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, Corolla, or Avalon. Get zero APR on a new Sienna, Highlander, or Tundra. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza. And every new Toyota comes with ToyotaCare complimentary maintenance. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer. We've got money!

2:58:57Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualified Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Excludes hybrid models. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 car dealer stock by midnight 8-1-11. ToyotaCare covers normal factory schedule service. Plan is two years or 25,000 miles, whichever comes first. The new Toyota vehicle cannot be part of a rental or commercial fleet or a livery or taxi vehicle. See plan or your participating Toyota dealer for complete coverage details. Slightly Stupid. The Seedless Summer 2011 Tour is hitting Cricut Wireless Amphitheater presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Saturday, July 30th. Slightly Stupid. With special guests, Revolution and Shwayze with Cisco Adler. Tickets are on sale now. Buy tickets at livenation.com. Ticketmaster or charge by phone at 1-800-745-3000. The Seedless Summer Tour 2011. Six Flags introduces Green Lantern First Flight, America's first vertical spin coaster. Now open. Go head over heels on 360-degree spins. Lunge out of control through wildly twisted vertical track. With unexpected drops and flips, it's pure chaos in motion. Plus save $25 at SixFlags.com. Go big. Go Six Flags Magic Mountain. Now with the most coasters on the planet.

3:00:24Vons is the place for summer because that's where you'll find great prices on all the things that make summer the best time of year. Like this week's sizzling Vons Club specials. Fire up the grill for Rancher's Reserve beef ribeye steaks bone in only $4.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet large red cherries are only $1.88 a pound. And don't miss the big cheese event at Vons. Sargento, Kraft, Precious, and Lucerne cheeses are buy to get one of equal or lesser value free. Selected sizes and varieties. neighborhood barbecues, or just hanging out at home. At Vons, we're going to help you make every summer day a celebration. And when you're thinking back to college, you've got to be thinking Vons. You'll find stock-up prices on College Life Essentials. We've got it all throughout the store to help you get ready for campus. Save big on kitchen gear, bathroom basics, organizers, laundry, and more. Vons has everything you need to add a life to college life. Great prices on what you need for summer and beyond. Vons, ingredients for life. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's take a call. Hey, Jack, I'm trying to remember the name of one of your new sandwiches. It's so good. Which one? Well, it's a really big... The really big... Yeah, it's got chicken... The really big chicken sandwich. Exactly. What's it called? The really big chicken sandwich. Look, I know it's really big and has chicken and is a sandwich. I covered those details earlier. It's called the really big chicken sandwich. It's got two crispy chicken patties, bacon, melting cheese, lettuce, and tomato. I'm aware of the ingredients. They were in my mouth very recently ago.

3:01:54Just tell me the name. The Really Big Chicken Sandwich. Right now, you can get it as a combo with seasoned curly fries and a drink for just $3.99 plus tax. It appears we're at a stalemate. Maybe you can help me remember this other thing I ate as a kid. They were chips that tasted like paint. Paint chips? No. Wait, yes. The Really Big Chicken Sandwich is back. Two delicious chicken patties, melting cheese, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Get the combo with small seasoned curly fries and a 20-ounce drink for just $3.99 plus tax for a limited time at participating restaurants. This Wednesday, July 20th, racing fans will once again gather in grand style to kick off the biggest party of the year. It's opening day at Del Mar. Join us as we celebrate San Diego's official kickoff to summer and all of the magnificent world-class horse racing action. Dress to impress with your coolest hat and be sure to enter it into our legendary hats contest. Don't miss opening day this Wednesday. Way cool as ever. Once you cue the Cuervo, you can cue the Friends, cue the Nightlife,

3:03:27And even cue that story you'll never tell your mom. But whatever you do, cue responsibly. This report brought to you by Starbucks. Get a free tall drink at participating Starbucks when you buy any pack of delicious Starbucks via iced coffee from July 14th through the 17th. Refreshing iced coffee wherever you are. Looks like the 52 westbound after Mass Boulevard. There's a car stuck in the center divider in Escondido on the 15 southbound before old 395 highway. There was an earlier accident. They have cleared that. There may be a little residual slowing though as you approach. 56 westbound Carmel Country Road. We're seeing some delays. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a $24.95 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. A Lincoln Financial radio station. You've got Mikey on the radio. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If you don't know, I'm bald and I'm Hispanic.

3:04:39Lawrence. All I want is equality. Woods. I don't want to snowboard anymore because it hurts my knees. I'm going to ski. I'm a dork now, right? Sienna. I am not Beaver's fan club president. And Jay. Try to exercise at least two or three times a week. On FM 94.9. Talk to M1 Paul here in just a second. Every single broadcast day in the month of July is live in July. And we got a lot of new guys. And let's see. So here was the story. Yesterday here in California, Jerry Brown signed a landmark bill adding lessons about gay history to social studies classes in California public schools. Now, that'll make California the first state in the nation to require public schools to include the contributions of gays and lesbians in social studies curriculum. Now, that's okay with me.

3:06:07The bottom line is that we live in that culture. You can't escape it. It's there. And so we have a right to teach our kids whatever we want to teach our kids. I do not have any issue with a homosexual at all. My religious beliefs. lead me to a place where I believe that the act of homosexuality is wrong. But I also believe that there's a lot of things that my faith says are wrong. Well, you can see how somebody that has a gay lifestyle would be upset that you're saying what they do is wrong with their partner. In the same way that somebody that's having premarital sex. Right. Yeah. See? You know what I'm saying? It's the same bit. Yes, I see. M1 Paul is on the line from Rancho Bernardo. First off, I'm hetero. But I got a lot of friends that are homo. But here's the deal. You know, it's like... Hey, do your friends... Wait a minute. Do your friends let you call them...

3:07:27Homo? Oh, no. I know, man. It's early in the morning, man. I'm abbreviating for the sake of reading. By 11 a.m., you call them gay. Yes, yes. But it's early in the morning, so you refer to them as homo. Because I said hetero. Got it, got it. Got it? Okay. So, along those lines, here's the situation, man. Like, who are we to tell... you know, anybody what they're going to do on their, in their own, on their own time. But not only that, but it's like, how does that affect you? I know that you're against the act. So, so be it. Don't do it. Yeah, I don't, I don't. And, and dude, in terms of like the whole thing, I don't, I don't have a issue with it. I know you say you don't with the people, but you do with the act. And so that doesn't jive with me. Well, yeah, but wait a minute. I mean, hang on a second. I'm real good friends with LOB. Yeah. L.O.B. has the premarital. What are you going to do? Allegedly. Allegedly. You know, do I say to L.O.B., does she come in here and I'm like, hey, you.

3:08:31With your premarital. But you usually throw holy water on me as soon as I walk in. And then I'm like, Mike, relax. Why did you hang that? So what are you going to do? Why did you hang that cross right over where she sits, Mike, if you didn't have a problem with it? Dude, the only time that you even hear my opinion on it is when there's a story in the news. Right, and that's a civil rights issue, the way I look at that. The class, that's a history lesson. That's social studies. That's in the context of civil rights. Fighting for civil rights. African-Americans had to. So, you know, that I don't think they're going to be like you were saying is the first time they're going to be actually having a class based on how somebody has sex. Well, you could say that about African-American studies. This is the only time they're having a class based upon the color of somebody's skin. But it's not just that. It's the historical context. Yeah. And I think, you know, for me, it's like if we ever want to get past if we ever want to get past this, the deal is, is that we have to recognize. that there are some people that just, that aren't going to agree with it. That's okay. You know, that's okay. Agree with it. There you go again. They're like, they could change their mind. No, no, no, no, no. What I'm saying is, well, first of all, I had to, at some point, stop drinking. Okay, I didn't want to stop drinking. And the reason I didn't want to stop drinking is because I am an addict through and through.

3:09:59But you did stop drinking. Yes, I did. So that would mean that... Now, wait a minute. Hang on a minute. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. That does not mean that I don't still want to take a drink sometimes, because I do, buddy. When this stuff with Sienna went down, there were a couple of times where I thought, boy, I'll tell you, a vodka tonic wouldn't be so bad right now. I said to Mike, I go, boy, I wish you still drank, because we'd be tired. thing now we'd be tying one on uh the way that i related to the homosexual thing is that and this is it's very difficult to do um it's very difficult to do in a in a soundbite but what i can tell you is that when i investigated my faith and started to grow in my faith many of the things that used to once feel good to me no longer felt good to me. And that was a result of God living inside of me. Can I ask you a question? Sure. Do you think then, along those lines, that you could actually have, use religion to change a homosexual into a heterosexual? Well, first of all, I don't like religion.

3:11:23Organized, yeah. Okay. No, I'm not even saying that I don't like organized religion. What religion is is the stuff that starts wars. Dogma. Yeah, that's dogma. Yeah. I got you. Okay. Okay, faith. We'll use the word faith. Faith. Yes. Do I believe that faith can change a homosexual? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've seen it. You've seen it? I've seen it. Ah. Now, now, wait a minute. Now, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. It's wrong. Hang on. Hang on. Maybe it's got... That doesn't mean... That doesn't mean... That every once in a while, dude doesn't have a hankering for a dude. In fact, he's probably got a hankering for a dude a lot. I got a hankering for a beer. But what I'm telling you is that my not drinking... Hang on a second. It's not the same thing as drugs, dude. Okay, listen. We'll go around and around. We will. We will. I just think that it's God's population control. Maybe look at it that way. Maybe that'll make you feel better. If you're so repulsed... Yes, I'm not repulsed. I'm not repulsed, dude. I'm not repulsing. You're projecting, Paul. Yes, you're doing a little projection. Paul, you're screaming. Hey, Paul. Hang on. The reason that I get upset sometimes is because a lot of times people put words in my mouth. All the time. All the time. And dude, you're spouting off all the different... Hang on. Hang on.

3:12:47Trying to just understand you. I know you are, but at the same time, you're putting words in my mouth that I haven't used or said. And that's why you're disputing them, which helps me understand you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Because I think that we could have a candid conversation that's normal and not, you know, divisive. Sure. I just don't understand it. That's all. My mind will not comprehend how somebody could be against something for themselves and then go ahead and project that onto everybody else in society and say, it's also wrong for you. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. I don't. And you didn't. And I didn't. You never said it was wrong for everybody else in society. No, you said the act is wrong. Hang on, Paul. You're screaming. You're screaming? You're screaming at the top of your lungs. They're joking around with you. They're just kidding. I also believe that it's wrong. To live with one another before you're married and to have premarital sex. For you, then. You're using that as a way. When you say it's wrong, you mean it's wrong for you, right? I believe that it is wrong. Period. Period. For everybody. That excludes ducks, moose, and turtles. Then you are making a morality judgment on other people. No, I'm not. God is.

3:14:14Oh, okay. So it all is about the premise. So if I'm not a believer, then there's no way I'll ever understand it. No, no, no, no. Well, to a certain extent, I believe that that could be true. To a certain extent, I believe that that could be true. I'm sure there's atheist people out there that think it's wrong for everybody, too. For their own reasons. For their own reasons. For their own reasons. But this is what's interesting to me. If I say, I believe that it's wrong that you live together before you're married, I don't get girls calling up going, I can't even believe that you're saying this right now to me. You've offended me. You've offended me. But I call you up to the show every day. Yes, and leave me messages. I think the reason after that is we haven't seen a wave of legislation where the majority is voting against the rights of the minority people who live to have premarital sex. Hey, bro, listen. If there were a law that were introduced, if there were a law that were introduced...

3:15:11You're allowed to vote your way and I'm allowed to vote my way. I'm not a bigot for voting my way. I don't think we should ever legislate rights of a minority because the majority will always vote against the rights of the minority, won't they? Yes, but that happens in an election. That's what an election is as well. No, we don't vote on rights, dude, on civil rights on an election. There's no civil rights on the ballot except Prop 8, except things like that. So there are, then. Well, he's saying it shouldn't be. But there are. But there shouldn't be. So anyway, yeah. Write your comment. Well, hey, listen, Paul, dude, I love you, and I'm not trying to fight with you. I mean it. I'm not. And I just don't want people to put words in my mouth, and I think that I am vastly misunderstood when it comes to this topic. And I get it. Listen, I'll tell you what. I believe that the reason that I'm vastly misunderstood is because of knuckleheads that have come before me, truthfully. So thank you. Thank you.

3:16:08Now, this is a, this is, oh, we lost it. Based. We'll move on. What's going on? Nothing. Just putting copper rings through my ears. Just a little water cooler talk is all. Just kicking the tires a little bit. Well, I enjoy a good, healthy dialogue about anything. As do I. I do, man. I mean, I really do. Listen, I got my beliefs and what trips me out, you know, because I did read some of the stuff yesterday that was going around. That I wrote? No. I know that you were. You know, because people were flipping out about me. Weird. And one of the things that someone said was, you know, Mike, he just talks about that faith stuff all the time. All the time. Now, if by all the time.

3:17:14she means when the topic of faith is in the news or at the end of the show on friday she's absolutely right right but outside of that i don't really you know i don't we don't we have never come on in the air on the air at seven o'clock and said okay everybody open your bibles to matthew 4 right now we're gonna talk about god's love right never i don't ever we're not the 700 club no that's what That's what fuels my fire. And I, like you, Mike, enjoy a healthy debate. Well, see, and the online stuff, the reason I don't get involved in the online stuff is because it's too visceral. That's fine. And I also feel like the online stuff, you can't have a healthy conversation. You can't hear inflection. You can't hear a tone of voice. People become very brave. Oh, very, very brave. Very brave. And they say, and it's very hurtful. It's very hurtful. Now, here's the thing. I really love the radio station that we work for. And it's tough that the fans that a lot, well, a certain contingent of the fans dislike me so much. That hurts so bad because you don't know me.

3:18:39If anything, if you knew me, you would go, oh, man, the guy's just he's just a strange cat. That's true. You would definitely say that. That's a true statement. I'm a strange guy. I'm very quiet. I'm very reserved, except with the people that I know very, very well. But outside of that, I mean, I don't think that people really get it in terms of who I am, especially reading that thing yesterday. where people were just saying cruel, cruel things that I really didn't understand. I mean, honestly, I thought, I wonder why they would say that. That isn't true. Internet tough, guys. And my thing is, I don't get to mix it up very often. If somebody calls and they say something about me, I get... And Mike will have to hold me down, and I don't get to mix it up very often. And I, too, like to mix it up. And I tell him, listen, I'm just mixing it up with you because I like to debate. You can ask my missus. Yeah. Kid will like to get in a healthy debate. M1 Viceroy from Claremont. Are you there? Yes, I am, Mikey. What was the word of the day? Copper. Bam. That's correct. Four packet tickets to SeaWorld for you. Hang on a line. Four things you might be doing wrong in the bathroom. Number one. Good segue.

3:20:03Number one, don't flush with a lid up. Oh, yeah, that's bad. Don't flush with a lid up. That's bad, L-O-B. Particle spray. Oh, God bless. I think that's probably the most clinical way she could put it. I'd rather hurt doo-doo. That's bacteria, bro. Another reason you should keep your toothbrush in a medicine cabinet or a drawer. Nah. Yeah. Shower. Keep mine in the shower. If you have a roof over your shower, then that's fine. I have a roof over my home, so I guess. Particle spray. What goes up must come down, my friend. Wouldn't it come down right where it was? And it wouldn't travel into Mike's shower? Yeah, and I don't think most of us do do like a whale coming out of the ocean. Don't you? Number two, don't store your toothbrush on the sink is bad.

3:21:05The germs. And it's exactly what you're saying. Number three, don't drink water from the showerhead. Okay, what sort of German shepherd type of person? Oh, my. Woods and L.O.B. just raised their hands. So you two are just lapping it up as it comes out of the showerhead with the calcium deposited. I'm thirsty enough. It's a good swisher if I'm brushing my teeth in there. Oh, you swish, but you don't drink it. Sometimes. If I'm thirsty. Don't you use warm water to shower? Yeah, it tastes weird going down. It does taste weird. Of course, it's warm water. In a pinch. In a pinch. Oh, my. Number four, don't use the same contact lens case for more than three months. Three months? How long do you keep those things? I thought they'd throw them away. I used to use mine for three years. A lifetime. And then just wash them. Yeah, you wash them with hot water and then you use it.

3:22:12Oh, I thought they were disposable. I thought all contact lenses now were disposable. They're talking about the case. That you take them out and then you put them in this case. Oh, wow. I wash them with hot water every couple weeks or so. Yeah. I got a couple of good ones. Now, this next one is for the dudes. These are facts that we got from WebMD that are random facts about the male business. in the world are uncut. Did you know that? Hideous. Now, hang on a minute. Only 30% of men between 15 and up, well, 15 and up, worldwide are circumcised. It's the U.S. where this is the deal. 75% of men in the U.S. In Australia, only 6%. True story. Oh, good day, mate. I don't know, but a friend.

3:23:13Told me. Friendly name of Lauren O'Brien. Yeah, you were actually in Australia. I was living there for a brief stint. Yes, and when you were living there, I thought you were courting your boyfriend back here. I was, I was, I was. It was a word around the campfire. The outback campfire. That's what you heard from the others. Yes, came around like a boomerang. Got it. The rumor, not... Yeah. Not the thing. Right. The extra skin. Speaking of boomerang, from WebMD, they do say that that is the deal. Boomerang. Pardon? What? It's shaped like a boomerang. No, it's not. It's actually not even close. Maybe it's... Oh. Maybe this is my medical report that I'm reading from. It does say Miguel R. Esparza. That's what it says. Honestly, this is from WebMD. It says, even though you can't... Oh, okay. You can't tell. But, and the reason that you can't tell is because of what's happening inside. Figure that out. Just figure it out. You can figure it out. Yeah, you can. I can't.

3:24:53Woods. I know what it looks like. I see it every day. I know. A few times a day. Sometimes. All right. Sometimes more than others. Thank you, Woods. You know? All right. What I'm telling you is that WebMD has information that we don't. And so... About my... Yes. About mine? They don't know anything about mine. No, no, no, no. They know what's happening inside of it. Do they? Yes, they do. They're medical doctors. That's the MD part of it. And they also say from WebMD... That shrinkage is not a myth. That when in cold water or air... Or on the golf course with your friend Woods and your name is Jay Isbell. Oh, that's not right. That is also not a myth. Your sympathetic nervous system. We have something called a sympathetic nervous system. Also known as turtle head. Well, yes, that about does it. Scared turtle. That'll do her.

3:26:00Turtle in a shell. All right. Nope. Oh, boy. Can I ever do that? Oh, wow. She really got me out. She got me fucked. Let's make some noise. When we come back, we're going to talk about something like ladies and gentlemen. And the deal is, is that Woods and I agree on something that Lauren does not agree about. And I want to get hands raised in the studio. I want people to call us about it. Lauren believes that something is very, very rude if you do it. Woods and I do not believe that it's rude if you do it. It has to do with etiquette. And we will discuss next. A chance. Let's do it. More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. Now in Carlsbad.

3:27:16T-Mobile, the phone zone. Come check out the newest smartphones running at blazing fast speeds on America's largest 4G network. And T-Mobile has affordable unlimited data plans so you can surf the web whenever you want. While you're at it, learn the ins and the outs of your mobile device at the PhoneZone Learning Center, the first and only wireless learning center of its kind in the nation. The technology experts at the PhoneZone Learning Center will teach you how to use your mobile device to its fullest, no matter what carrier you have. T-Mobile, the phone zone and the phone zone learning center in Carlsbad at 5617 Faseo del Norte across the street from the Carlsbad outlets or call 760-494-0335. That's 760-494-0335. Go to T-Mobile, the phone zone for all your wireless needs. T-Mobile's HSPA Plus 4G network is not available everywhere. Use of some features require a data plan. See printed materials in the phone zone for additional details. Hi, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy. Yeah. Live studio audience. What's up? Yeah. All right. So, listen. Padres, Giants, this weekend, okay? We're down one game. You win the next three. All is forgiven. Go out to Petco Park tonight, 7.05. Padres whiteout rally towel plus postgame fireworks. Saturday, Padres against the Giants, 5.35 start. It's the Padres rally pom-pom. They're going to be giving that away, too.

3:28:43Sunday, July 17th, Padres against the Giants at 105. Military Appreciation Day, military T-shirt for kids. Padres will be wearing those camo unis that are so cool and unique. Unique is the best word to describe the San Diego Padres. Man, you've never seen a stadium like they have right in downtown San Diego. It's incredible. If you haven't been, it's a very reasonable price to take your kids, your whole family, and have just an awesome day in perfect weather. Get your tickets today at Padres.com. Hey man, how's life? Oh, all I do is study for the bar exam. Dude, that's fantastic. Here, let me quiz you. Take a look at my Coors Light. What does this bar mean? The Coors Light's cold. And this bar? Means it's super cold. Boom, friend! You just passed the bar exam! Yes! New super cold activation with two stages. Now you'll know when your beer goes from cold to super cold. Frost-brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. I call this one best girlfriend ever. It had been a long day and an even longer week. So I headed toward the kitchen, refreshment I did seek. But after swinging open the fridge, I saw the most horrific sight. Not a single cold beverage, not a single Coors Light. I grabbed my keys. It was time to hit the store, but stopped when I heard a knock at the door. It was my girlfriend bearing gifts of Coors Light. Best girlfriend ever.

3:30:02You got that right. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Your home is where you feel the safest. But a silent threat may be lurking. One you can't see, smell, or taste. Is carbon monoxide the leading cause of accidental poisoning deaths in America? I'm Kevin Nida, president of the California State Firefighters Association. Each year, firefighters across California see the devastating effects of CO poisoning. Yet prevention is quick and easy. Install a carbon monoxide alarm in your home. It's the only safe way to detect the silent killer. And, as of July 1st, it's the law. The CSFA supports this safety measure and urges you not to wait. CO poisonings happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone. Common sources include gas-burning appliances, grills, and generators. Take this simple step to protect your family. Install a CO alarm today.

3:31:02For more information, visit casafehomes.org. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say, use some imagination. I mean, roses? Billy? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter spot treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Rincon, we get you. After all, life is short, and it should be played or smelled for all it's worth. Harris Rincon. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Louis Samuel Indians. Managed by HCal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars License Company, LLC. Mary lost her mastiff name, Marbles. She also lost her keys. And where was the leash? Thankfully, one thing wasn't missing. The ink. With HP Multipack, she printed oodles of missing posters for all her missing things. But then she found Marbles. with her keys and his leash. She didn't need all that HP ink after all, but she was happy she had it because you just never know when you'll lose your marbles. Print more and save up to 10% with everyday pricing with HP Multipacks, founded a retailer near you. HP, hit print. Compared to single standard HP ink cartridges based on average retail pricing. Vons is the place for summer because that's where you'll find great prices on all the things that make summer the best time of year. Like this week's sizzling Vons Club specials.

3:32:17Fire up the grill for Rancher's Reserve beef ribeye steaks bone-in only $4.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet large red cherries are only $1.88 a pound. And don't miss the big cheese event at Vons. Sargento, Kraft, Precious, and Lucerne cheeses are by to get one of equal or lesser value free. Selected sizes and varieties. Picnics, neighborhood barbecues, or just hanging out at home. At Vons, we're going to help you make every summer day a celebration. And when you're thinking back to college, you've got to be thinking Vons. You'll find stock-up prices on College Life Essentials. We've got it all throughout the store to help you get ready for campus. Save big on kitchen gear, bathroom basics, organizers, laundry, and more. Vons has everything you need to add a life to college life. Great prices on what you need for summer and beyond. Vons, ingredients for life. Right now at AutoZone, get a 5-plus quart jug of Valvoline conventional motor oil and a Fram Extra Guard oil filter for $18.99. Get in the zone. See store for details. to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Part of the problem with me is I like summertime. I just, I don't like going out and doing stuff. Lauren. I have ketchup packets in my drawer at home. So what? Woods. Mikey, I have a new ritual. What? I have to have a Dr. Pepper and a donut on the way to work every morning. Sienna. I want to work out. I hate the gym, but I want to go. And Jay. I am a huge fan of meatloaf. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in our lives.

3:34:08Woods, explain the story about coming over to the house and what... What entailed. Yeah, what it entailed. What followed. Well, we had just gotten back from a trip and Mike and Rebecca had asked Jamie and I, my wife, if we wanted to come swimming. So we said, yeah, sure, we'll come swimming. Fourth of July. Yeah. And Mike said, be there about two o'clock. Okay. In my world, 2 o'clock means 150. Standard. Hey, Woods, you need to be there at 4? I'm there at 350. That's just how I do. She was kicking and screaming. And I'm like, come on, let's go. God, you're never ready on time. She's like, babe, we don't show up there at 2. Or 10 minutes early. We just don't. We've got to be a little late. It's called fashionably late. I'm like, if you are not early, you're late. And that makes you rude. Well, we knock on Mike's door. It's 150. There's no answer. Knock on the door again. Which, by the way, you should never knock. Well, it was locked. Well, I know, but you should always ring the door. Oh, really? I didn't know that because I don't want to wake up the kids. Now I know. Always ring the door. Thank you. Knocking is very aggressive. It is. Well, plus I knock like this. I know. But I still don't hear it. That's a problem. I don't hear it. So it's 150. Well, we walk inside after their nanny lets us in and find out that Mike and Rebecca are still in bed.

3:35:37Upstairs. Now, to our defense, we were not in bed. You were making love in bed. No, we were not. No. I think we were getting dressed and getting ready to go swimming. That's what they said. They said, you know, they're in bed, but that's not. They said they're retired to the bedroom quarters. Correct. Yeah. And Jamie looked at me like, I told you, you SOB. And Jamie and I sat outside with our legs crossed and we just waited. for anybody to come down and she looked at me and she goes, I told you so. And I go, zip your lips. Now, do you think that I'm bad? No. Not at all. Okay. I think my wife was right and I hate that. Well, I don't think you were rude. She said it was rude. I said it wasn't rude to be on time or early to a party. Ten minutes early. L-O-B. Yes. You think that's rude? Yes. But wait. Everybody knows. Oh, boy. Okay, if you're talking about maybe a business meeting or a business lunch or a business coffee date or a business, anything followed by business, yes, be 10 minutes early. If it's someone's house party, you know you never even show up at the time that it starts. You always have to give at least a five-minute cushion. See, that's rude. You have to. If I have a party at 2 and there aren't people there at 2, I'm pissed. No way. I'm like...

3:37:01So come whenever you want. Just open door policy. If Lou Bush were here right now, he'd go, that's a white people thing. Yeah, it's true. Because I'm Mexican and my family would be like, what? Get there whenever you want. If that's a half an hour early, it's a half an hour early. Half an hour? Wait. Why don't you show up the day before? Might as well. Hey, you guys ready yet? Hey. LLB. But what if it's like, it's Woods, you know? It doesn't matter. It's Woods. It doesn't matter. That's what I was telling Jamie. I go, it's Mike and Rebecca. They're not going to care. My blood family could show up 10 minutes early and I'd be ready to shank them. Really? Yes. What are you doing here? I'm stressed enough as it is. Now I'm going to entertain you? If you say two and it's two on the dot. That's okay. I'm a little bit like, well, everybody's a little eager. She's right on time. Yeah, right on time. Very punctual. Great. Thanks, Sam. My wife is of the mind of Jamie and L.O.B. So she was probably mad at us. No, because it was you. It's you. And I know Rebecca pretty well. Was she like, oh, they're here already? No. No, it wouldn't be that way with you. It would be that way if it was like... Me. Oh, man, now I'm going to get in trouble.

3:38:24Okay, like if it was a, if it's our small group that we have on Thursday nights. Right. She likes people to be there on time because she's hustling to get ready and to get stuff ready. And sometimes 10 till. Oh, boy. That's when you draw the shades and just hit the deck. You're going to get that, babe? The desserts, babe. Maybe you could get it. You can get off your iPad. I'm on my iPad. Go get the door. Come on. I'll make you a taco. Go get the door. Please. Make it right. I'm cutting the desserts. I don't hear anything. Don't you? Mm-mm. What are you hearing? I'm hearing a doorbell. I don't hear a doorbell. Mike, stop messing around. Please go get the door. I don't hear anything. Please go get the door. Oh, my gosh. If it's Woods, though, you know that that's just... Doesn't it depend on the friend? You know, you got friends. Some friends are early friends. I love early friend. God, I love early friend. Because I... What I do is now I tell Jamie...

3:39:40All right, we have to leave here by 2 o'clock. And at 1.45, I'm like, hey, let's go, dude. Come on. Good God. You're killing me. I got one for LLB. Oh, my gosh. Every time Woods comes to our house, the first thing we hear before, the first thing we hear is the doorknob jiggling. Oh, yeah. Because he goes to walk in every time and realizes, oh, Mike locks his door. Easy, Compton. Right. It should be the reverse order. Right. It should be the knock first and the open. We live in rural Macon, Georgia. So, of course, we would leave the door unlocked. Just open the door. Come on. You're such a scaredy cat. Am I? Aren't you? You have kids that could slip out. That's not. Why? L.O.B., it's 2012. Yeah, it's 2011. Oh, yeah. It's 2011.

3:40:40Yeah. 2011, you don't leave doors open. Not when you're not home, but when you're home. Yeah, you leave the door unlocked. You know your boy's coming over. Bro, you realize that every crime story that you ever hear starts with, and they left the door unlocked. There was no signs of forced entry. There was no signs of forced entry. You know that. Every time. But my question to LOB is, my question to LOB is, what do you think of Walker Inner? I noticed because Woods and I carpooled to your house earlier this week. Yeah. And he just waltzed right on in. I said, oh, boy. And I shuffled my feet on the mat to wipe them off and then said, hello. If your door were unlocked and somebody just came walking in, are you cool with it? I would say, oh, make yourself right at home. It takes some liberties with some things sometimes. It isn't just you. I have heard that door jiggle. And usually what we get is.

3:41:41Oh, the door's locked, huh? Like, we're some sort of sex creeps. You guys are weirdos. You know. You're weirdos. Yes, we're just running around nude. So we will. Okay. Fair enough. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Whoever said nothing in life is free obviously hasn't heard about the great offer from Cricket Wireless. Get a free Android-powered smartphone with no contract when you switch to Cricket and turn in a competitor's phone. With brilliant touchscreen displays, innovative camera camcorders, and cool Android apps, you'll get a truly smart smartphone absolutely free. Plus, it can be yours now with our great smartphone rate of just $55 a month, including unlimited nationwide talk, text, web, and data.

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3:44:58That number again is 1-800-400-5082. 1-800-400-5082. When half off meets happy hour. Happy hour is born. It's Dave and Buster's happy hour. Half off cocktails and beer specials 4.30 to 7 p.m. every Monday through Friday. That's half off martinis, half off Long Island iced teas, half off our million dollar margarita. Which, by the way, doesn't make it a half-million-dollar margarita. It makes it full-on amazing. Happy Hour at Dave & Buster's, the only place to eat, drink, and play. Go to DaveAndBuster's.com for details, hours, and locations. Chevron Extra Miles' great selection of energy drinks allows me to stay on top of my game. They've got Van Hoot Coffee, Energy Shots, and Rockstar and Red Bull. Hey, you can hear those guys, too, right? Ready to rock? Then stop into Chevron Extra Mile and pick up any two 12- or 16-ounce Rockstar Energy drinks for just $3.49, one at regular price. Now through August 31st, Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Hey, Carrie, a bunch of us are going out for dinner and a movie. Want to come? I can't. I'm being hassled because I'm behind on my bill since I got laid off.

3:46:12What should I do? When that happened to me, you know what I did? I called the Klinger Law Center and filed for bankruptcy. They put me completely at ease and stopped creditors from harassing me. The Klinger Law Center, huh? You wouldn't still have their number, would you? Yeah, 619-516-1601. 619-516-1601. I'm going to call them right now. KLC is a debt relief agency under the U.S. Bankruptcy Code. The Home Depot has made a special buy on exclusive Hunter Highbury ceiling fans at just $89.88. Valued at $150, you get a ceiling fan for under $90 to keep things cool, a remote control to keep things easy, and a lifetime warranty to keep you from having to replace it down the road. All thanks to a special buy and exclusive Hunter Highberry ceiling fans, just $89.88. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only. See store for details. A 6-inch BLT, extra tea, chips, and a Diet Coke. I call it the Bob-O-licious. Put long veggie delight on wheat, a.k.a. the Green Genie. Everyone's talking about Subway Restaurant's new My $5 menu. Many $5 choices like subs, soups, chips, cookies, and drinks that you can customize to make your own. Subway Restaurant's new My $5 menu at your local Subway restaurants.

3:47:27Subway. Eat fresh. Available at participating Subway restaurants for a limited time only, plus tax if applicable. Additional charge for extras may not be combined with coupon offers or discount cards. See stores for details. Subway is celebrating summer with a smoky, savory, sweet flavor of barbecue pulled pork. slow-cooked pork with an irresistibly bold barbecue sauce. And now, when you buy a Subway barbecue pulled pork sub with your choice of drink, you can celebrate with a free bag of Frito-Lay chips. That's right. Get a free bag of chips when you order a drink with our juicy hickory smoked barbecue pulled pork sub. Hurry in and offer this smoking won't last long. Subway, eat fresh. At Vons, you can count on low prices. With amazing Vons Club specials and everyday low prices, you can get what you want, when you want it, at the price you need. That's their promise. That's ingredients for life. Vons. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Just one day, if I could be Tom Brady. Lauren. I like it, why not? You like the arm kit? Yeah, it's family. Woods. I love the breasts. Zienna. Your confidence is a classic. And Jay. Yeah, I shaved my legs one time.

3:48:32On FM 94.9. Trying to be a dynamic morning show. Let's hear it from our live studio audience in here. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. The Stoageless! Funhouse. Big round of applause for Jersey Mike's, please. These guys are great, man. Oh, man, is it good food. They were voted the best sub across America by the Travel Channel. And here's some info on these guys. Every individual sub is sliced fresh right in front of you. History of good taste and help in the community committed to making a difference in our community. They use USDA-approved Angus Beef. Their new location is opening in the college area on College in El Cajon on August 17th.

3:49:36And they have locations in Mission Valley, Point Loma, Mira Mesa, and by SDSU. So there you go. I'm from Jersey, and they are authentic. Are they? Tastes like home. There you go. Who's home? Woods. Let's see. Wipeout Viewing Party is happening at Dave & Buster's July 28th. From 7 to 9 p.m., Woods and Jay were on the TV show Wipeout. And the episode will air. On July 28th. I got to see my first ever episode the other night, and I am excited to watch you guys. Oh, my God. I can't wait. It's going to be ridiculous. Let's see. New movies out today. Of course, we already mentioned Harry Potter. And also out today, Winnie the Pooh. Woods. Well, hello there, all. That is a very fine-looking pot of honey you've got there. And so remarkably great. Sounds like an adult film. All that happens to be my... Woods. It's Winnie the Pooh, bro. Figured you just got nine minutes left. Just go for it. Yeah, I guess. It's a stretch. No, not really. Let's see. I think we got everything.

3:51:04570-1949 is our phone number if you want to get a hold of us. I am going to be speaking at something called the Be Different Youth Camp tomorrow. And it is happening at... It's happening in Hamul. And never been there. Never been to Hamul. Pretty. So I'm going to be speaking out there and... How about you, L.O.B.? What do you got? I'm going to be doing a little ditty with my comedy troupe in Carlsbad at the Carlsbad Village Theater tomorrow night at 8. You can go to the website carlsbadvillagetheater.com to get tickets or just come show up. It's in the village on State Street. There you go. End of the show on Friday. I give you my testimony and tell you where I have been and where I have come to. Today, I really want to share with you a message of hope because See, because of the way that I believe, I believe that everything that happens does happen for a reason. Sienna said that to me on Wednesday, the day that she was laid off. And I was crying and she was crying. And she said that to me. And I believe that. When I was a kid, I grew up really scared. All the time I was scared.

3:52:48Now, I don't know if anybody can relate to that, but that's how I grew up. I felt scared and I never felt safe. And so because of that, I grew up angry because I believe that angers hurt sadness and fear. And I had a lot of those emotions when I was growing up, hurt, sadness, and fear. By the time I was in my 20s, I was starting to become addicted to alcohol. I drank because I wanted to numb myself. All I knew was that when I was numb, I felt better than when I wasn't. I didn't consciously know that I was trying to cover anything. I just was. My right arm is covered in tattoos. And when I initially did it, I did it because I wanted to portray something that I was not. I wanted to portray that I was a tough guy. Because inside, who I really was, was somebody that was very scared and insecure.

3:54:03And felt like a kid. And was addicted to alcohol and drugs. And was a complete and total mess. I never had hope. 2003 gave my life to Jesus Christ. And all these changes started to happen in my life. They were slow, but they started to happen. I do believe that every for a reason, you know. If I hadn't quit drinking, I wouldn't be here right now. Earlier, Betty Ford died. And it meant something to me because I went to the Betty Ford Center. I was thinking about it. I was like, a door being left open two inches made that difference. This is what I mean. All the way back to Watergate. That hadn't happened. That door. Two inches open. Burglary takes place. Richard Nixon gets busted. Gerald Ford becomes president. His wife is addicted to alcohol. She opens up a clinic. I am an alcoholic and I go to that clinic.

3:55:39When I'm done with it, I'm able to get my job back and be on the radio. If you struggle with alcohol, depression, eating disorders, or any of that kind of stuff, go to mikeyshow.com. And at the top of the page, it says help. And you can click on that and it'll give you resources to all kinds of different ways to get help for all of those different ailments. At the end of the show on Friday, I play a song for you. And the song hopefully is... A song that you find hope in the lyrics. The band is called Red and the song is called Not Alone. And I hope you enjoy it. We will come back on Monday and do this all over again. The Mikey Show is out.