The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/19/10

0:00KBZT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Monday on our boy's birthday. That's right, everybody. Today is Woodsy's birthday, and in honor of it being his birthday, I will do a high-pitched birthday for Woodsy. Full photo Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll make it a falsetto Monday. Are you guys ready? Can you help with this, you guys? Are you going to start it off like this? That's right. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. It hurts really bad. Woods. I feel terrible for ever making you do that. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Well, today is Woodsy's birthday. 35. 35 years of age today. He's really taking this one to heart.

3:14It's been hard for him to turn 35. For me, I loved getting older. For Woodsy, it's just another year past those primes of his glory days. Uncle Rico. That's right, Uncle Rico. Love it. Full extent. 570-1949. Five people on the Mikey Show. Myself, I'm Mikey. I'm wearing a, what do you call these kind of shirts? Polo. Polo shirt. Polo? Polo. It doesn't matter what the brand, they're always called a polo shirt, right? I believe so. Because I always call them a pullover, and then I get my head chopped off every time I say that. No, that's like a V-neck sweater. These are called polos. Although, I don't know if it's kind of like the Frisbee Kleenex thing. Like, I don't know if it used to belong to Ralph Lauren, and then everything became a polo. Well, what about Izod with the little alligator on there? If I was wearing one of those, what kind of shirt would that be? I call them a golf shirt. Golf shirt. Oh, it's great. I love that. Collared shirt. All I know is I don't like wearing them. It's not PC Woods. What? Let's see. Collared. Collared shirt. Oh, okay. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's also the guy that doesn't wear glasses anymore. Yay! Yeah, he is. Lucky. Guy got some LASIK done. Greatest thing ever. Ever. You love it. It's so good.

4:30I've been beaming all weekend. We'll talk about it in a little bit. It'd be tough to get used to not ever seeing him wearing glasses again. Never again will you see me in glasses. Better knock on wood. Yeah, knock on wood. But as far as you know, as far as I know, never again. It's great. It's great. I had it done. I really, I was so happy that I did it. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's the blonde girl sitting to my right. She is a single lady, and to which I say, all the single ladies, all the single ladies. That's right. All the single ladies, all the single ladies. If you liked it, you should put a ring on it. That's right. Yeah. I don't know that part. Don't you? I don't. That's it. You know the dance. I saw you do it earlier this morning. That's right. I was like the diapered YouTube baby. Sienna is our news girl, fresh off of her baby shower. Best baby shower I've ever been to. Really? It was fun. That's pretty cool. It was fun. That's pretty cool. They took a, all the ladies, all the Mikey show ladies took a picture together. We all took a ride down there together. Yeah, they all carpooled. And the Woods family trust her. Yep, the bourbon. Giant.

5:57Dirty, suburban. I love that thing. I like it too. It's pretty rad having that thing to be able to cart everybody around. Yeah. Jamie's always like, so I assume that I'm driving? I'm like, yeah, you're driving. Sure. Of course you are. Jay is our producer. He's 47. He's in the next room. We also have Austin phone screening today. If you want to call us, please do. 570-1949 is the number. We'd love to hear from you. And if you want to, you can also... Text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Before we get started, maybe you'd like to fill everybody in on what happened early this morning down in the parking lot. Oh, my gosh. What? Mikey, what'd you do? Whatever I do. It wasn't what he did. Woodsy, what'd you do? Got out of my car, and Woodsy goes, give me all your money. What did you do? Why would you do that? Were you terrified? Of course I was. I might have punched or kicked in places. He was terrified. Did he scream? He goes, dude. I got you, dude. I got you. That's terrifying. I got it. You are an awful person. I saw him get out of his car. I go.

7:20He sees me standing here blasting a cig, but he was in Mikey Town, Mikey World. And right when the door opened, I heard the car turn off. I go, give me all your money. And he goes, no. Go out of here. It was so great. It was awful. You can't get mad at him because it's his birthday. I know. I have carte blanche to do whatever I want to say. He does. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the mundos. Sounds like it. Yeah. Sorry, pal. That is so funny. I almost went number one. He did. I would have. Because he had to go anyway, and he goes, that almost made it happen. That almost made it happen. Pepper spray would have come out if it was Lord Ryan. Right? Let's see. Oh, so the big news. One of the big things is stingrays. Oh, man. The stingrays. Well, we knew about the stingrays. We knew that the Stingrays were in town. Sounds like a gang of, you know, motorcycle, motorcycle gang. Yeah. When you're a Stingray, you're a Stingray. That's probably what they're singing in their heads. They tied their little flippers together and they fought. They're blasting cigs. Yeah. Stingray gang. When you're a Stingray and you like to fight.

8:43So that's the deal. But anyway, so there's a bunch of stingrays here because the water's warm, right? And they're all fighting. Get! Dude, I want nothing to do with these things. They're all fighting. They're trying to survive. They're killing San Diegans. Yeah, I know. They're stinging us. And they go in for sand crabs. That's what they're trying to get. Why don't we just take a boatload of sand crabs and just go feed them somewhere and be like, why don't you guys stay over here in the feeding area? We'll make a table for you guys and just leave us alone. Because then they'll see people and they'll think, oh, that's the hand that feeds me. So now every time they see people, they'll go up. I'm going to get out there and rough talk them a little bit, I think. Until you need to take the belt to them. I'll come out here and rough talk them and run them off. Good. That will do it. That'll get the job done. Help us. I was in the water twice this weekend. I didn't have any problems. Did you see anything? I saw some shadows. I don't see that. Do you freak out? I freak out when I see shadows. I shuffle. When something touches me, I'm like, what was that? This weekend, 949 was out at the bocce ball deal at Dog Beach in Del Mar. And Woodsy and I stopped by out there to say hello. Saw Jay playing.

10:02Shirtless. Yeah, shirtless. Go, Jay. Take it off now. It's all right. Leave it on. There were some people that were out there that we were talking to that said that right there at Dog Beach, they saw stingrays. Small ones, but I don't care. I don't care if they're big, small, whatever. I don't want any part of any of them. I'd be worried about them more at Dog Beach because of the dogs than myself. I'm going to get a harpoon. Yeah. I'm going to strap it on my back when I go surf, and I'm going to harpoon these things. You're going to need a license. And I'm going to put them on my wall. And the TV show Survivor, I've seen them eat them. You know, they got hungry. They went out there. They found stingrays. And they harpooned them. They took them back up. They started a fire. They ate themselves some stingray. Yeah, people eat shark, too. You shouldn't because they're endangered. I've had that before. That was really good. So now we know it's getting warmer out, and whenever the water gets above 50 degrees, that's when the stingrays come out, and they're coming to get sand crabs, and they're not used to all the people in the water right now, so they're coming real close to the shore. So since Wednesday, there has been at least 130 reported stingray stings. No way. Yes. Oh, no.

11:17It's coming. I know it's coming. Mikey, thanks to you, I heard that music in my head when I was swimming on Saturday. Oh, no. Yeah, I was out there. I've really planted a seed. Yeah, and I looked back, and the shore seemed, like, really far away, and I was like, oh, gosh, I'm out here on my own. And you heard this in your head? I heard this, and I was like, Mikey! Lifeguards are saying it is pretty unusual that there's this many stingrays. Right when the kid moves to town, the weather turns to Portland and stingrays come flying in. My dad showed me this weekend on his foot. He was stung when he was like 12 years old and he still has a scar from it. Really? Yeah. Perfect. Oh my gosh. I know. You know what happened? Apparently there was some stingray lovemaking going on out there and they created a bunch of stingray babies. They mutated. They mutated, and now they're all here stinging it up. Real good. Stinging it up. Stingray baby is one thing that I don't think I would go, aww. No. But if you see the underside of them, they've got, like, happy faces. They do have a happy face. Yeah, great. So cute. They're cute. They could have a picture of a nude woman on there, and I'm not lying. I'm going to be excited to see it. M1 Rick from Chula Vista. You could be pinned on your wall. Hey, I was stung by Stingray a few years ago. Uh-oh, man. Where were you? Saturday night.

12:36And you didn't shuffle, right? Oh, no, I was body surfing, and I put my foot down right on one, and it nailed me. And I had to take a lifeguard, put me in the Jeep, brought me right to the front of the campground so everybody could see me, you know, in pain. And then you stick your foot in boiling hot water as long as you can take it. Then you take it out, put it back in until the stinging goes away, and then I guess you're fine. Oh, my gosh. When it happened, did you know immediately that it was a stingray? Yes. I felt horrible feeling, the slimy feeling, and it just whipped around and got me. Just missed my Achilles tendon, too. So it broke the skin. Yeah, I was bleeding, and it was very, very painful, let me tell you. It should be excruciating pain. Oh, that's smart. Oh, that's smart. That's smart. Sienna, I will never forget that. It's the greatest. How old were you when that happened? I was probably like eight or ten. I mean, young enough to be like, that's smart. The one guy I saw who got stung was like a guy in his 40s. And that's what he yelled about 80 times. I guarantee you, if Woods or I get stung, we will scream out. That's smart. Oh, I don't think Woods will be yelling that out. No, I don't either. Name an expletive. You're going to hear it.

13:59M1 Cam from La Mesa. Hey, yeah. My wife and I purposely, like, went to Shelter Island or somewhere else besides La Jolla because of the stingray. Yeah. And we got stung by jellyfish. Oh, my gosh. Super. Are you serious? Super. Apparently, I guess in the bay, there's a bunch of black jellyfish that are really rare that have come this weekend. And so we saw five of them and we got out of the water and we're just digging all over and we got all these red spots on it. Oh, kick ass. Great. It makes me not want to go in there. How about boating? Yeah. Maybe fishing. Limits tourists. Maybe all the people splashing around out there will make them go away. Yeah, you know what? I think it's like I haven't been surfing that much this winter, and I know a lot of people I've talked to haven't surfed as much. So I think there just hasn't been as much human activity in the water. Enough splashing around. I'm going to be a winter surfer only, I think. I've already been surfing. It is cold. I love it. Listen to this one. M1 Susie Q from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Tell me about your buddy. All right. Yeah, I had a buddy a couple years ago. Got stung by a stinger in the water right off Carlsbad Beach.

15:14And the barb got stuck in his foot. And he went in for surgery. He had surgery scheduled. He dealt with it for like a couple of months. The day before surgery, his foot got all puffy, swelled up in the shower, exploded in the shower. And the barb came out, sat at the bottom of the shower. And he paid himself like five grand on that surgery. I just threw my hands up in the air as if to be really freaked out. And I'm freaked out by your story. His foot, like, blew up. It swelled up. Wherever the barb was, exploded. Yeah, rejected it. Get out. Get out of here. I watched that in his foot for, like, a couple of months. Oh, that's good luck. Oh, good luck and bad luck. He just rolled over and said, all right, man, I'll go in for surgery. And then, sure enough, the day before, like, I don't know what kind of luck he had. Crazy, though. Tell me, Susie Q, because I missed it. Did he save the barb or no? I'm pretty sure he did. I think he has it sitting on his bathroom sink in a soft dish. I would. I'd wear it as a necklace. Yeah, I would. I would save it as a badge of honor. Get another one and make a set of earrings. Thank you, Suzy Q. Guess what? This is a big week in San Diego. Huge week. It really is, man. There's a lot of stuff coming, right?

16:33Well, starting first on Wednesday, opening day at the races. Get your hats ready. Get ready for a lot of traffic on the five. Because I know opening day is this Wednesday. And then following that on Thursday. You know what it is, right, guys? Comic-Con. Comic-Con. Comic-Con starts Thursday? Thursday, yeah. Thursday to Sunday. Oh, my goodness. And I have a list of some of the celebrities that are going to be rolling through. Do you guys want to know? Yeah. Jeff Bridges. Damn, Jeff Bridges? Yeah. Dude, let's go. Woods just started to give me the Vulcan sign for greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Bring your droid. Comic-Con has expanded, way expanded into pop culture. I mean, pretty much any show and movie that's starting out is there. Well, he's there because Iron Man, I'm sure. Oh, that's right. I doubt he's going to be portraying Bad Blake, Jacob McClure's Blessing Six. No, he won't. Unfortunately. Who else? Jeff Bridges, Tina Fey, Olivia Wilde, Sylvester Stallone. Who's Olivia Wilde? Little Girl from Little Miss Sunshine. Little Girl. Never mind.

17:37Oh, wait, no, no, no. She's like one of the most beautiful girls. Made that up? You did? That's Abigail Breslin. Okay, well, that's different than Olivia Wilde. Anna Paquin. She's like, Mike, she's saying, let's get physical, physical. No, as soon as I said it. I want to get physical. She also starred opposite John Travolta in the motion picture of Grease. Oh, yeah, okay. That would be Olivia Newton-John. Olivia what? I know what she's in, but I can't think of it now. Okay. No, she's an actress. She's beautiful. She's been on a lot of like the Maxim Hot lists and stuff. Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer from True Blood. Yes! Rainn Wilson from The Office. Huge. Eva Mendes. Jason Schwartzman from Funny People. Will Ferrell. Mark Wahlberg. Wow. Big stars. That's awesome. A lot of the people from Glee and the big one that people are like, is she coming? Is she not? Angelina Jolie. Really? Oh, gosh. I hope not. Her new movie, Salt. Hey, man. I saw the previews for it on TV. It looked badass to me. Yep. Looks...

18:46Awesome. There's a lot more, too. Liv Tyler. I mean, I can't even go through all the lists. But, I mean, keep your eyes open this week because there will be a lot of celebrities cruising around. Somebody's calling here that I'm going to get to in just a second that has tips for us for Comic-Con. And all I can tell you is it's going to be a madhouse. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a madhouse here in San Diego for the next couple of weeks. I would take public transportation if I could. Guess who's on the line. Who? Spartans, lay down your weapons. Persians, come and get them. M1 Leonidas is on the line. Very nice to have you, Leonidas. Yeah, it's cracking. It's popping my favorite morning show of all time. What's up, brother? I love you guys. Hey, I was just calling to inform your boy right there.

19:40Jeff Bridges is in town to promote his new movie, Tron Legacy. Oh, that's right. He's in the new Tron. That's right. They'll probably get him on Iron Man, too, though, won't they? They'd ask questions, yeah. They'll probably be pressing him for, like, the Avengers stuff, because I guess the rumor is all the big actors for the Avengers are going to be there to promote. All the guys like Green Lantern, they're all going to be there. If you're a big fan of anybody in the TV shows, they're all going to be there to promote their TV show, their movies, everything like that. Saw the previews for that Green Lantern. Yeah. It's weird. It looks weird. It's weird seeing that guy. What's his name? Not Seth Rogen, his buddy. The other friend. Jonah Hill. No, Seth Rogen. Seth Rogen plays the Green Lantern. Weird seeing him as an action hero. Oh, yeah. He lost a lot of weight for that, right? It looks very odd. Yeah, you're talking about the Green Hornet, my friend. Oh, my bad. Sorry. I like girls, so. Oh, yeah. I'm a huge geek, but I would just call and give a couple tips like L.O.B. said. Take transportation down there. Nice. We got the best transportation, the shuttle, the carpool, all that good stuff. Leonidas, you'll know. What's that new movie that's coming out that's got like every action star to ever live? Bruce Willis. They're all going to be there. It's called The Expendables. Have you guys heard anything about The Expendables? Saw the poster.

20:56That's why Sylvester Stallone's going to be there for that movie. The poster, I hadn't heard of it, never seen it. Did you see the poster? The poster is like... It's 40 feet long. It's 40 feet long because it's all these incredible action stars in one movie. What a nightmare. I wonder if that's going to do well. Name one. Jet Li. We shall see. He's in it. It's in Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke is in it. Like, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin. Insane. Arnold Schwarzenegger. All those egos would fit on one side. Bruce Willis. Yeah, it's like the Miami Heat of movies. Yeah. Right. Does it look good, Leonidas? Do you think it looks good? It looks okay. I think it's kind of a burnout for all those folks. But, you know, we can always use a good comedy. Cool. Thank you for the call. Hey, love you guys. Love you, man. Yeah. It's going to be a big week here. Yeah, it is. Wednesday. Traffic will be gnarly if you have to go up to five because of the races. Up or down. Listen, I don't have a suit that's mustard yellow enough to go to opening day at the races. Mustard yellow. You need a linen suit. You got to have a five-button suit, all right? You got to have something. What are you, Cedric the Entertainer? Yeah, you got to have something made from Milan. It's such a scene. Steersucker. Yeah. Money. And the girls wear the hats. If you're a girl, where do you go?

22:25To buy a hat. Anywhere. Lots of places. Stacks. I won't be going because we have a show meeting that day. Otherwise, you would have gone. I've gone a couple times. I've been a couple times. Weird. My dad owned five horses. Yeah, big deal. You know. Sporta Kings. Come on now. Anyway, that's the deal. What is this deal with this Star of India story that is everywhere? Star of India is one of the attractions down in... The bay here. Yeah, downtown San Diego. Yeah. Pretty sad story. It's a boat. Yeah. This is being called the worst accident in the history of the San Diego Maritime Museum. A volunteer, 68-year-old Greg Gushaw. I'm sorry if I pronounce the last name wrong. He fell 40 to 50 feet from the Star of India, hit his head, fell into the water, and he died at the hospital. How? Do we know how that happened? They're still looking into it.

23:22Apparently, he was about 30 feet up in the rigging. And for some unknown reason, he fell, hit his head, went in the water. Everyone, you know, jumped over, man overboard. Two crew members jumped in. And I mean, just so sad. They pulled him up on the dock by Anthony's Fish Grotto. And there was just it was too late. They were training for they were going to sea this summer. And so it was a training exercise. That's terrible, man. Get a full on rigging and everything to get up. you know, to hold him, but they think he had some kind of medical emergency. Oh, boy. Witnesses there said it sounded like wood snapping, like splitting, and it was not pleasant at all. Terrible. Very, very, very sad. The weather, at least by the looks of it, appears to be back. Nice. Yeah. I'm looking online right now, and it says... Low of 65, high of 71 today. There's a couple little clouds in the picture. And that's basically how it looks until Wednesday. And then by Thursday, no clouds. Beautiful day. Nice. Yeah. Sienna called it too, man. She said, we had a nice day last week. And Sienna goes, she goes, I heard that it was going to be nice from this point on. It's been correct. It's been nice since then. Since the day she said that. It's questionable. What was up yesterday? Yesterday was like overcast all day.

24:43Where were you? That's where I was. It was overcast in La Jolla, too. This was in Portland for the afternoon. I was on the coast. Yeah, a little marine layer. Yeah, look at Woodsy with the proper terms. I mean, it was not cold, though. It was pretty warm. It was 100 degrees in El Cajon. Last year, there were not very many charger practices that were open to the public. Is it getting better or is it getting worse this year? Woodsy, I'll tell you next in Woods on Sports. We got the panel coming up. Include Brett Michaels. Hidden cameras where the sun don't shine. What about Apple? What about Apple's big press conference that they had on Friday to address the iPhone 4? It's all coming up. 94.9. Finally arrived in San Diego. Get your head in the game and grab your tickets for the party at the beach. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Sion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. And we're sharp at the magnetic zeros. Rogue Wave. 94.9 Stage, The Silent Comedy, Nervous Records, The Burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets today for $30 at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. No service charges. And a buck of the $30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools.

26:51August 29th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, supported by Honest T. FM 94.9 welcomes San Diego's Pinback for the opening concert of the 2010 Del Mar Concert Series. Pinback, live, Friday, July 23rd, 4 p.m. at the Del Mar Racetrack. 4 o'clock Friday concerts are held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. All shows free with track admission. For more information, delmarscene.com. Enjoy exciting racing action and stay for the free concert at the Del Mar Racetrack. All right. Summertime is here and everyone is getting ready to start planning that big vacation. That's why we're joined again today by Meredith Hanrahan. She's the chief travel officer for a great website, CheapFlights.com. So, Meredith, if I'm looking for the biggest bang for my buck this summer, where's the place to go? Is it Europe? If you'd asked me two years ago, I would say Europe is really pricey. The euro is really your dollar doesn't go very far. But this summer, I would tell you something different. Europe is where it's at.

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31:08What? Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Wednesday, July 21st, the biggest party of the year returns. It's opening day at Del Mar. Celebrate San Diego's official kickoff this summer and the return of world-class horse racing action. If you are a Time Warner Cable customer, here's some facts you need to know. ESPN's current agreements with Time Warner Cable will expire on September 2nd. And they may stop carrying your favorite ESPN networks. You don't need to be put in the middle. So... We are working hard to reach an agreement. In the meantime, know that you do have choices. There are other providers available to you. For more information, call 877-5-I-HAVE-CHOICES or go to IHAVECHOICES.com. This report, it is brought to you by Allstate. Are you a safe driver? Only Allstate will send you a check twice a year for staying accident-free. Get Allstate today. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Well, things are looking pretty good for the most part this morning. A delay on that 5 southbound before 28th Street due to an earlier accident. The 15 northbound looks pretty good coming through Escondido. And the 5 northbound at Washington Street, there is some road construction work. They are picking that up, though. You should be able to get through momentarily. Other than that, the 8 looks great. The 805, I don't think you're going to have any problems, at least right now. This report also brought to you by Paula Casino.

32:30win your share of $200,000 in the Show Me the Dough giveaway at Paula Casino Spa and Resort now through August 29th. It's free to play with lots of chances to win. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like doing the guy stuff. Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Woods. I drive fast. I smoke. I'm going to hit the radio on. I'm on my phone. Sienna. I love sharks. And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story. On FM 94.9. You know, we've mentioned it before. You've heard Woodsy say, why don't you grab a bat, pal? Only every single day. Well. If you ever say, if you ever call Woodsy out on something, Woodsy will tell you. Let's grab a bath. Let's grab a bath. Well, because, you know, Woodsy, he's a good baseball player. He said that, I don't remember when he said it to Jay. Jay said, I'll take you up on that. Bring the noise. We've hooked it up with our engineering staff to where tomorrow we are going to do hallway baseball. You play ball like a girl. Well, we'll find out. Really? We'll find out.

34:00But tomorrow, Jay and Woodsy are playing hallway baseball, and we're going to have it on the radio. I predict he doesn't even foul one off. Oh, wow. You're out of your mind. I cannot wait to see this. Who's going to pitch? Woodsy's going to pitch. Oh, you're going to pitch to each other? Yeah. He won't even foul one off. That's the deal. Grab a bat. So he's telling Jay, grab a bat. Let's see what you can do. Get Elias' arm up tonight real good. For a wiffle ball. There should be a control. You should be the one pitcher, Mike. Oh, no. No, the deal is, is that it's grab a bat. Grab a bat. You know, I mean. You can't hit me. You know, that's the deal. I used to be a softball pitcher. The wind up. Oh, yeah. Maybe Sienna's the pitcher. You can get some mean wiffle balls in your yard, too. I can. Sienna, you were able to do. Did you do that in high school? No. Well, I stopped after freshman year. I realized it was no longer cool. So you used to be able to do that cool? Yeah. It's the best. Girl. I played softball from first grade until freshman year of high school. Do you know how hard those girls throw? Hard. Hard. And they, off their hip. Yeah. So cool. I hated it, though. I hated it. So you probably knocked yourself out running to first base. I did. Throwing a few sports bras. Really? Oh, my gosh. So.

35:14We told you, is there a change with the Chargers practices? Last year, the Chargers didn't open a lot of their practices to the public. And we want to find out whether or not that has gotten better or whether or not that has gotten worse. So we're going to tell you in Woods on Sports here in just a minute. And M1 Hawk, Woodsy's dad, he's going to come on and tell us a little bit about what happened at the British Open. We talked about this a little bit, but not much. On Friday, the singer, Pink, who I would never want to arm wrestle with in a million years. Never arm wrestle. I know. I would never get into a boxing match with Pink. No, she would beat the crap out of you. Yeah. To a pulp. To a pulp. Bloody pulp. She was doing a concert in Germany. She was tied.

36:11into one of those harnesses to do like Cirque du Soleil type stuff. It's like this crazy trapeze act that she hangs from in front of the audience on stage. And she's, you know, quite a few feet in the air. And she got rushed to the hospital because of an accident with it. Here's the audio. You know, one of the most shocking things about this is that apparently they're playing that music live and it's not just a recording since it's suddenly stopped. That's also part of the big news to me. Both are shocking. She's hanging from a harness. Yeah, that's pretty impressive. That's pretty crazy. Maybe just stand in front of the mic and sing. Yeah. Maybe dance a little. No, she has a good show. I mean, I'm not necessarily. I mean, real performance. It wasn't a recording. I thought all that music was all recorded. It wasn't. That was a real band that stopped playing when she fell and went, whoa. That was a trip. That German?

37:53Japan, maybe. No, it's from Germany. No, it's Germany is where it happened. It is from Germany. It was in Germany, Michael. It was. I was there, yes, backstage. Weird that you were at a pink concert. In the green room. Backstage. Yes, I was in the green room. What were you wearing? With David Hasselhoff. Yeah. A fishnet shirt. Yeah, fishnet shirt. On top, fishnet mesh. My name is on the back. It says Wolfgang on the back. It does. Your pink skin sticking out of that. I was a big fan. She's a dear friend of mine. Is she? Yes. You're right. Really not much more to the audio, Mike. I don't know why you're... It's just a woman that fell, so I'm not really sure what more you're expecting. She gets up. She probably does some fist pumps. Does some fist pumps. Blasts a cig. Yeah, gets into a fight with a girl. Grabs a Budweiser. Slits a throat or two. Slits a throat. Just runs out. And makes it right. Wow. That's it. Plays in some blood. There you go. That was Pink and Germany on Monday. Let's do this. I'm going to tell you all about the Chargers here in a second. But first, the San Diego Padres played lights out baseball all weekend. They swept the Arizona Diamondbacks. It was awesome. Blasting home runs. Really? Yeah, home runs everywhere, man. Really? It was incredible. Love it. They look like the frigging Yankees this weekend, man. Hitting bombs out of the ballpark. I love that. It was awesome. They opened their lead to four games over the Rockies. That is a great, great.

39:32Great job, because the Rockies are a tough, scrappy team. They're Padre killers. Padre killers, man. So keep winning, man. And you know what? Great fan support out there this weekend, too. I love that. Very nice to see. Yesterday, Kevin Correa pitched, and I got some audio of him. It kind of confused me. And you tell me if you can really understand what he's saying. Cut one. I think it doesn't matter kind of who you're playing. To get a sweep is nice. You know, it's hard to do. Whether you're playing the best team or the worst team in the league, it's hard to win all three games. You know, you can get two, but that third one's tough to get. So, you know, it's huge. You don't get three games instead of, you know, one. What? I have no idea. I think he's probably distracted by the bumping magic, man. Well, maybe not. Don't do your press conference at a rave. Yeah, he was at Pink's concert. Yeah. But he was, you could tell he started to lose his footing and kind of forgot what he was saying. Yeah, because he's dancing. It's hard to dance and keep your concentration on the game at the same time. And Jerry Harrison Jr. had. I think he was listening to The Who. You tell me. Cut, too. You know, obviously we had a very good first half, but we didn't want to sit on that. It's Magic Buzz. We knew we had to come back and play even better. You know, we got pretty good pitching. We started swinging the bats. You know, we really started swinging the bats really the last two weeks before the break. So hopefully it continues. That's Magic Buzz. You know what I remember? When Trevor Hoffman used to play here, Trevor controlled the in-flight stereo.

40:58Did he really? When they flew anywhere, Trevor was the only guy that got to pick the music. That'd be Woods. That'd be me. That'd be Woods. 100%. Absolutely. I got it. Yeah. I would have my iPod on listening to lectures while Woodsy was blasting his. Black Sabbath or something. That was Trevor Hoffman's thing is that he controlled the music on the flights. I wonder how they do. Next time we have Heath Bell on, I'm going to ask him, who controls the music in the locker room? Who gets to pick the music that you listen to in the clubhouse in the locker room? Absolutely. So Chargers football is getting close. Training camp opens a week from today. Love it. They have opened a lot of practices to the public this year, and it's going to be really cool. You guys can go out and watch, and I'll give you the dates right now. August 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th, 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th. That's awesome. And their Fan Fest is Saturday, August 7th. That's going to be awesome. I will be there for sure. The first exhibition game for the Chargers is Saturday, August 14th at Qualcomm against the Bears. So, man, we are. That's so cool. We are sniffing football season. Oh, yeah. We're sniffing it. It's right around the corner. It smells delicious. It does smell delicious. As much as I love baseball, the best time of year is when the two.

42:12are going on at the same time. It is the greatest. So I think we should go to our golf correspondent on the street here. My dad, M1 Hawk, the most knowledgeable golf man that I have ever known. He really is. M1 Hawk, are you there? I'm here. Good morning, ladies. Good morning. Morning. So this weekend was the British Open. We're good. Well, first of all, I'm sure that you would publicly like to say something to your son here. Well, if you don't mind. Happy birthday to the kids. That's right. That's right. Years of bliss for the Woods family. That's right. About that. A lot of laughs. So, M1 Hawk, what are your thoughts on the British Open? Louis Oosthuizen basically won a relatively unsuspenseful Open. He made two bogeys in the last two rounds in very strong wins. and basically ran away with it. He won by seven shots over Lee Westwood and played really flawless golf. The only hazards, mostly in British Open golf, is the pot bunkers and the wind, and he managed to avoid both and was really flawless. Number 12 was the difference. He came with a four-shot lead. Paul Casey was trailing, made a triple buggy. He birdied, and four shots went to eight shots. Wow.

43:36Just like that. So, M1 Hawk, let me ask you this, and I don't mean to switch focus too much, but obviously, as a new golf fan, I'm just kind of like, what's up with Tiger Woods? What's up with Tiger Woods? What's up with Tiger Woods? Because I want to see if Tiger Woods can come back. I have a theory, by the way. I do too. I have a theory about Tiger Woods. I'm ready for it. I believe that Tiger Woods will not allow himself to win. And here's why I think that because if he wins, he's happy. And I believe that the happiness makes him guilty and that he doesn't want his wife to his wife, ex-wife, wife to view him as a happy guy. The fact that he's miserable, I believe in his mind, I'm just thinking like a guy here in his mind, winning would make. His wife go, oh, really? I wonder what you're going to do to celebrate. And really, you're happy? And winning makes him, in her eyes, maybe feel sorry for him. It's the strangest theory in the world, but it occurred to me. He's also very competitive, though. Yeah, he is. I don't know if he would think about that consciously. I think what my theory is, they short-circuited something in sex camp when he went away to sex camp for a while. And my deal is, when he was doing his thing,

45:04his finger quotes, his thing, and doing all the bad stuff that he was doing, that dude was on top of the world. He felt bulletproof. He went on that golf course knowing, I'm the man. Like, I'm the man. All the ladies want me. I can play golf like nobody else has ever seen. Guy has no confidence, I don't think. You know, M1 Hawk, did you hear about the big putter thing? You know, you told us that he changed his putter, right? Yeah, he went back to Scotty Cameron on the Sunday round. Yeah, it only lasted two days, that new putter. Well, that's got to be a very stinging blow to Nike because the whole British Open, they were advertising these new putters and basically Tiger threw it in the garbage. Yeah, along with his game. Not very good. I'm not too dissimilar. I think his Buddhist background... His focus was so intense in the past, and I think the extracurricular activities kind of released some of the, you know, that built-up pressure that he put upon himself to win. And now he doesn't have a release, it doesn't seem to me. So it's pressure all the time. Wow. M1 Hawk, as usual, it's a pleasure. You're great. We love to talk. M1 Hawk is Woodsy's daddy. He is so knowledgeable when it comes to golf. And, hey, thanks for coming on and explaining some stuff to us. Thanks, Dad.

46:29Happy birthday, Stephen. Thanks, bud. Thanks, Dev. All righty. See you. I almost called my dad brother. Who's Stephen, father? Yeah, who is Stephen? I know it. And then finally, Mike, the San Diego Brewers had a nice little comeback yesterday. That's your baseball team. That's my men's league team. Oh, right. Yeah, we won 19-9 over the Lug Nuts. Here's a winning pitcher, Sean Merrill. Are they really Lug Nuts? Yeah, the Lug Nuts. Here's a winning pitcher, Sean Merrill, on what was working for him. Cut four. I'd say the curveball was probably working best today. Had a couple guys buckling on it. Throwing it for strikes. Pretty steady pitch all game. Had a kid. Got pitched really, really well. Settled down. Started rough early, but settled down, and he got the win. We had a hitting star yesterday. Our first baseman, Ken Marone, had five RBIs. Here he is. Cut five. Wow. Today I just saw the ball right out of the pitcher's hand. Really? Did you? Hit the ball right up the box a couple times. Scored a few runs for us. Oh, wow. Changed from the insurance industry. So that was, hey, listen, you know, that's great. It's great to get out there. 19-9, baby. San Diego Brewers. Forced me reckonly. Wow. That's Woods on sports. It sure is. What just happened? Say that again. I'll tell you what just happened. Woodsy's birthday is today, and so we're going to give the kid a pass. All right. His two clips.

47:43From his interleague baseball team. It's not interleague. It's not? Men's league. That would be ridiculous. You know what I'm saying? That would be ridiculous. Great game, boys. Brett Michaels and Rick Springfield are coming to San Diego. Now, here's the reason I bring this up for the panel, where myself, Woodsy, and Lauren O'Brien will get a chance to comment. Are you the guy that goes to the Rick Springfield slash Brett Michaels slash... Huey Lewis concert that is coming to town? Are you that guy? Would's he? Yes, on Huey Lewis. I'm going to that concert. It's 20 minutes from my house. I want to see Huey Lewis. I love Huey Lewis. Yeah, in Rincon. No, it's Harrah's Rincon. Rincon. Those guys will be at Paula. Oh, okay. All right, sorry. Huey Lewis will be at Rincon. So, yes, I will not see Brett Michaels or Rick Springfield, my friend. Brett Michaels and Rick Springfield are at Paula?

48:46Yeah. Together. Co-headlining. Lauren O'Brien, my question to you is, A, would you see any of these three acts? And if not, is there an act that you would see that falls into said category? I would see Huey Lewis. I consider him to be classic. His songs, he had a lot of hits that were seemingly timeless. Bret Michaels and Rick Springfield. A couple of husbands. They fit into a specific category that is not cool anymore. Yeah. Not only would I, I'm going to see Huey Lewis. There's just no doubt about it. So happy to be stuck with you. Absolutely. It takes a lot to get you out there. You know, the heart of rock and roll is still beaten, man, so we can probably do that. That's absolutely correct. I wish I could think of a Huey Lewis song right now. It's so hip to be square. There you go. You know, he's got a lot of heart and soul. He's got a million hits. Of course, Missy. It's power of love. Fantastic. Wow. Have you heard that some creep. What? No. Jay. Some creep was putting hidden cameras in a Starbucks. Jay. Yeah. Where? It was just one hidden camera. The college area. There's many Starbucks over there, but they're not listing which specific one.

50:06This college area? San Diego? San Diego State, yeah. Oh, my God. And this small little camera was hidden in the bathroom around 3 p.m. on Saturday. They found it near the trash can. And officers were given a description of a possible suspect who was in the coffee shop. But they don't know. I mean, they're not giving out any information or how long the camera had been there. So, woman's bathroom, right? I'm assuming so. They don't list it, but I'm assuming so. Woods, how long should a creep get if he's convicted of doing that? 20 years. L.O.B. I don't know quantitative, but I think the same thing is like a trespassing and a burglary type of offense and some sort of sexual crime as well. Put them all together. What would you say? It got to be upwards of five years. I don't know how harsh, though. So weird. The guys see it harsher than the girls do. Wood said 20? Yeah, I don't like creeps like that. First thing that came to my mind was 25 years. Really? In jail. If you videotape a girl going to the bathroom and violating her that way, what would you say, Sienna? I was leaning more towards what Lauren said, like around five. How fascinating is that? How fascinating is that?

51:28I don't know. And the creepy part is, is there were other girls, I'm assuming. Again, they didn't say if it was a boys or girls bathroom, but I'm sure it's a girl. And they don't know how long it was in there. You know, how many girls had walked in until it was found. I mean, oh. So Friday, Apple held a press conference. They don't hold press conferences unless they're releasing a new product. And all the press shows up from all over the world when they do that. They had a press conference, and speculation was one of two things. Either they were going to address the fact that their iPhone 4 is having reception problems, or they were going to talk about moving to Verizon. So here was Steve Jobs on Friday. You know, we're not perfect. We know that. You know that. And phones aren't perfect either. But we want to make all of our users happy. If you don't know that about Apple, you don't know Apple. We love making our users happy. That's what drives us to make these products in the first place. So that was how he started it. Yeah. What's it like over there in Perfectville? Yeah. Here's a little bit more from him. We heard about this not long after we started shipping, just 22 days ago from today, right?

53:04It's not like Apple's had its head in the sand for three months on this, guys. It's been 22 days. And, you know, Apple is an engineering-driven company. We've got some of the finest scientists and engineers here in the world in the areas that we need to create our products. And the way we work is we want to find out what the real problem is before we start to come up with solutions. And so we've been working our butts off. for the last 22 days to understand what the real issues are here so that we can come up with real solutions. I bet it ain't easy. I got the iPhone 4 over the weekend. And it's got a bumper on it, which they say will solve the problem. Yeah, they're now giving free cases to fix. Like, the little bumpers are now free to fix the antenna problem. I got it on Friday. I didn't get a free bumper, but when they...

54:03move forward with this free thing, I'll be able to use my receipt and get my money back. Nice. Okay? But I'm talking on the phone to Woods on Saturday. Weird. And all of a sudden, the phone call drops. And I'm sitting in a place that I sit all the time and never have dropped calls. Oh, no! So I wait, Woods calls back, and I go, please tell me that you're in an area that drops. Please tell me that you're in an area that drops. He goes, nope. And I flipped out. Oh, no. Saw Woods the next day. He goes, oh, by the way, I was just kidding. I was in an area that drops all the time. He was messing with me. I got him for like 24 hours. Oh, and he got me. He's your favorite pastime. Yes. He got me. Woods messing with Mikey. Woods messing with me. Me trying to make Mikey uncomfortable is like. It's his favorite thing to do. It's like my second full-time job. Yeah. It's the best thing to do. I haven't had any problems with it. I love it. Yet. Well, the problem is supposed to be the reception deal. I haven't had any of that. Yet. Yeah, and Steve Jobs said on Friday he did not admit that there were any antenna problems. In fact, he compared it to the BlackBerry Bold 9700. And apparently they were having problems too. And they're like, look, you know, like he said, we're not perfect. And this has been so blown out of proportion. It's incredible. Here's more on them. We got the statistics on AppleCare. And we asked ourselves, what's the percent of all iPhone 4 users who have called AppleCare about issues relating?

55:32Anything about the antenna or reception or anything even near antenna or reception. In other words, if you read all these articles out there, you would have thought, Jesus, at least half our customers must have called in to complain or ask questions or be angry. Don't you just throw her on, Jason. He sounded so nervous and fired up. That's for Steve Jobs. So what percent of iPhone users have called AppleCare? Hard data, one half of 1%. Oh, that's really crazy. Look at the facts, folks. That may be the best Steve Jobs and only Steve Jobs imitation I have ever heard. You're the one. It's dead on. I know we have to break, but I have to tell you something. Friday after the show, we're all sitting around together, and Lauren O'Brien says,

56:37Hey, vegetarian. How did that pork taste today? And I threw my hand up over my mouth and went. That's what happens when you claim you're just going to become a vegetarian when you're like the biggest meat lover ever. Well, we had. a place come in and cater food for us on Friday, and I was just feasting on it like... Like a T-Rex. Like a T-Rex, like a normal. Like a voracious scavenger of meat. A carnivore. A carnivore of carrying. I was tearing... And so, as soon as she said that... Captain Callout over here. Captain Callout. She's the worst. She always gets you. I do. As soon as Captain Callout said that, I'm like, it's over. Lasted, what, 24 hours? Glad you're back. I think it lasted 48 hours, didn't it? Secretly, you were relieved. No, openly I was relieved. I think I was openly relieved. That was the stupidest thing I ever attempted. Yeah, come on. I didn't get it at all. Maybe taping Mel Gibson was not Oksana Grigoryeva's idea.

58:06Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I haven't considered everything. Maybe I'll play you some audio when we come back that may make you think the same. Part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Take the kids to school and make sure Janie has her book report. Fight the traffic late to meeting. Compliment the boss's hair. Sit at keyboard. Check my email. Start to type. I'm slowing down.

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1:03:17The Mini Cooper. It's a steal, but it's not stolen. Right now, it leaves a Mini Cooper hardtop for $199 a month for 39 months. Now through August 31st. For details, visit miniusa.com slash info. MSRP includes destination handling. Excludes license registration taxes and options. This report, it is brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100% quality guaranteed. You can trust every package with the Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. Well, checking out the freeways this morning, looks like we've got a little bit of slowing here on the 56 westbound. As you travel through Camino del Sur, we've got speeds about 38 miles an hour. Black Mountain Roads, 23 miles an hour. Heading over here this morning to the 94 westbound, Sweetwater Springs Boulevard also speeds really slow, about 20 miles an hour. And checking out the 163 northbound. Quint Street, 10th Avenue, both very slow right now. This report, it's also brought to you by CarMax. CarMax will buy your car today, even if you don't buy one from them. That's why the smart choice is always CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

1:04:21Is there any more of an iconic rock voice than Paul Stanley? That's just the greatest. Velvet. This song's very subtle. That's why I like it. Yeah, very subtle. Subtle as a rattlesnake fighting you. Life's such a treat. It's time you taste it, pal. Great. Words to live by. Welcome back. It's The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy. Woodsy, by the way, turns 35 years old today, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah.

1:05:29Mikey's show is Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay. We got our phone screener, Austin, in the studio with us today. And you can talk to him if you call 570-1949. We got M1 Ryan from Vista on the line. You there? Yeah, I'm here, Mike. What's going on, Ryan? Not too much. How are you guys doing today? Good. Just wondering, you got your new iPhone and everything. Did you actually try taking it off the bumper and seeing if you could repeat what everybody's griping about? No. No, I didn't. It does work. I'm sure it does. I'm sure if I wanted to, I could force a drop call, but I keep that bumper on there, and I love it. I've never taken my case off, but I heard the thing on Friday, so I was like, okay, whatever, I'll give it a try. I took off my case, and yeah, it does work, but my opinion, who doesn't case a phone that's going to cost you almost $600 for a place? I don't understand why people wouldn't put a case on their phone. I don't. Yeah, what's the point of the case? What am I talking about? That's the way I just had my phone. I know. What am I talking about? I don't know. That's the weirdest thing I've ever said, is it? All right, thank you, Ryan. I appreciate the phone call. So it is Woodsy's birthday today. In honor of that, I have a surprise for him. Oh, lovely. Heart checkbox? No, I didn't. No, in fact, it's quite opposite. It came from his wife. Uh-oh, great.

1:06:53Woodsy got surgery on his eyes on Friday and got LASIK surgery. I was like Courtney Love on Friday. Yeah. Got home. They gave him a Vicodin to take. He took the Vicodin. Oh, no, no. I took two Xanax in the office, a Vicodin, and then an AMB. Oh, my gosh. I was like Courtney Love. Not recommended, by the way. No, not recommended. Don't talk about things like that on the air, Woods. And not as cute as Woods is making it sound. But it was hours apart. Come on. Yeah, yeah. Don't be a Sally. For sure. Oh, totally. But anyway, he fell asleep into a deep, deep sleep. L.O.B.'s shaking her head at me right now. Well, I was shaking her head at Woods. Yeah. Looking at you. Yeah. He fell into a very deep sleep. Coma. Not recommended, by the way. Here's what Woods eat. Here's what Woodsy's wife decided to do. She's learned it from Sienna. She's learned it from Sienna. Everyone loves to coup d'etat the kid, dude. Everybody loves to secretly... You know about this? Everybody loves to secretly tape Woods. Here's what he sounds like when he falls into a deep, deep sleep. Oh, my God. Wow. Sounds like audio we had a couple months ago from doing the same thing. Your poor wife.

1:08:26Oh, my gosh. Wow. It's getting louder. Oh. It sounds like I'm dying. That's so gross. I'm breathing my last breath. Oh, wow. You are really enjoying a nice. Flemmy. Dude. Flemmy. Sleep. Hear that uvula shaking real good. Oh, my gosh. Ridiculous. You can. Your dog's been spilling. Hey. Shut up. Quiet over there. Do you think that she's like. standing there giggling, like taping it, giggling. I don't know how she sleeps, man. I really don't. That's me every night. That's fantastic. Every night. No wonder you wear earplugs. Wake yourself up. Wake myself up. So, Oksana Goryeva is the ex-girlfriend now. Baby mama. Baby's mama of Mel Gibson. You've been hearing all the audio of. Former L.A. prosecutor Robin Sachs.

1:09:33said this about her. Her lawyer probably suggested take pictures, record what happened, get evidence so that if you need to use it, you have it for a later time. I hadn't considered that. Really? To me, all along, it was like, I'll show you. I'll show you. You can talk to me like that. Wait till you see what I do. That's a good way if they're about to get into a custody battle to. you know, make sure to help bolster her case, which I think she's done, you know? Yeah. Well, the other thing that I hadn't considered that I did when I heard that explanation was that if that's the deal, it's very possible that the attorney said, if you are asked whether or not you did this on purpose, you are not to say yes. I can't imagine them suggesting that she lie, which would be... Maybe it's no comment. Yeah, how about a no comment? I don't know. Yeah, how about just a I don't know instead of no, I didn't do that. I just think it's so sad. They have a little kid together, you know, and it's like, man, no matter how mean he is, you've just released audio of him. That could ruin him, and that's your daughter's father, you know? Oksana, you're still saying you don't know anything about it. These things that you say, there is no way you can say it wasn't me.

1:11:01I'm saying it was you. I don't know microphones. I know you don't necessarily know microphones. I know that. But you could find people that do know microphones. You could find people that know, speak Russian, that wash cars. You could find anybody. You could find anybody that does anything. I get that. But I have a feeling this was you. You knew it all along. There is Yellow Pages. Where is Yellow Pages? There is. There is Yellow Pages. Maybe you know Google. Yeah, I know Google. I know how to do that. Maybe you do it. Maybe you come to my house. Oh, really? I am in charge of it. You have microphone I see in your face. I'm a disc jockey. I'm supposed to. You probably were in my house. Fine, man. Still think you did it. I still think you shouldn't come to my house when I'm asleep. I didn't. Sounds like Mel Gibson's leaving the U.S. now. Oh, yeah. That's what I heard. Yeah, going back to Australia.

1:12:01Really? I don't know why I said it like that. Yeah, it's a great Australian accent. It's going back to Australia. It's going down under. Back to Australia. That's better. He had his house that was on, it's known as the Old Mill Farm. It's been on for sale for $16 million. Oh, my gosh. Well, he just sold it for $10 million less than what he was asking. Wow. He's just ready to get out of here. I know. Oh, my gosh. I just. I watched Signs on Saturday night per your guy's suggestion and per all the hoopla around him. The movie got suggested on Netflix. Yeah. Man, he is such a good actor. Yes. God, he's good. It's just such a shame to see. I mean, I hope that this is his darkest hour and that he only gets help and better and everything. Not only is he such a great actor, but you know what is so ironic about everything that's happened is that in the movies, part of his deal.

1:13:01It's his likability factor. I kept thinking about it. He was such a great father and he started crying in that one scene and I started crying. He's so likable. It's too bad. It really is too bad. It is, man. I brought something up the other day that made people laugh and I thought it might make a good topic we can throw around. You can call us 570-1949 if you've got one or text us 949mikey at gmail.com. I ruined, well, no, no, no. I ruined one job interview for sure, okay? The other one should have been ruined but actually went well and is the reason that I'm in radio. The one that should have been ruined was when I was morbidly obese and going to an interview. Why do you have to add the first part? I just wanted to be as descriptive as possible. I'm painting a picture. All right. Painting a picture. Imagine an 18-year-old morbidly obese kid. Oh, wow.

1:13:59Wearing overalls? No, no, no. I wasn't going to a farm interview. I was actually. Suspenders. I was going to a radio interview. And at the time, yeah, at the time, young men in their 20s that were thin, in shape, six feet tall. Kind of the look at that time, because the movie Wall Street was out. Wall Street. Kind of the look at that time for young sharp dudes was like the business look. Glasses. suspenders. That was like a sharp look. It should be brought back. It should be. I think it is coming back. I've seen it a little bit in GQ. It didn't make its way round really in the morbidly obese. Well, you needed it to hold up the parachute, right? The parachute. Instead of parachute pants, it was the actual parachute that I wore for pants. My brother, I was living with my brother at the time and he had left and his garage door only shut halfway. And I was looking at the floor at the time, and I smacked right into that garage door, face first. It knocked me down, knocked those faux glasses I was wearing, those cosmetic glasses I was wearing right off my face. They broke, which, man, those were expensive to replace, fake glasses. Fake glasses with no prescription. Fake glasses with no prescription in them, just glass. Not even any lenses. Nope.

1:15:22No, cut my face. I had to put a butterfly bandage on it. Go to the interview. I actually got the job. That's the reason I'm in radio today. Wow. That job interview. And you still have a scar from that. Yeah, I do. Yep, right between my eyes. Unbelievable. Of course I do. Now, the job that I ruined was showing up five minutes late to a job interview. 17 years old. Would have been on an actual broadcast satellite. Wait, long before the days of satellite radio. I was five minutes late. The guy gave me a $20 bill and said, this is going to be a hard lesson for you. But you shouldn't be late to interviews. You didn't get the job. You're not going to. That is unbelievable. And he made sure that he told me. He made sure that he told me. He said, I'd made my mind up that I was going to give you the job. Holy cow, dude. So what was the $20 for? Just gas money. Yeah, gas money. Thanks for coming here. Here's your pay. Wow. $20. It was a nice little touch, though. Never forget it. The job was yours. Yeah. Oh, man. That's how I went to. It probably worked out for the best because I wouldn't have been in this job, but I had a Disney audition. You did? To be in what? You were going to be in a Disney movie? No, I was going to be a Disney princess in Hong Kong. Are you? What? What? Yes, I told you guys this before. In Hong Kong? I don't remember. For six months. Yes. You were going to be at Disney? Like at Disneyland. Maybe I do remember that.

1:16:45Yeah, I was going to be there. Like I had pretty much like gone through like rounds, like thousands, hundreds, down to 10, down to two people. And all I had to do was show up in Anaheim and like meet the big high ups. Got in the parking garage. The audition was at 10. I got there at like 10.03. And the security person was like. And they were like, yeah, when you get there, ask for so-and-so. Like, you guys aren't going to have to go with regular casting people. You know, you and this other girl are pretty much a shoo-in and say. So I get there, and the security person's like, yeah, the gate's closed. You missed the call. And I was like, no, no, no, but I should be on a list because I went through this casting and this cast. Yeah, what list would that be? And I'm like, his name's Craig. Did you purposefully sabotage yourself? No. You really were trying to get... I was just... I get lost all the time. I got lost. I ended up, like, in downtown Disney. I missed it. Downtown Disney is just a mess, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. I totally, like, messed up everything, and I was, like, three minutes late. It was three minutes late. 5701949. Holy cow. Yeah. Have you ever royally... I want to hear great, fantastic, wacky, weird, the strangest way that you've completely jacked an interview.

1:18:03ruined it you know my previous career was as a recruiter and i recruited a lot of people to our my last company reach local and uh internet marketing company and and so i was recruiting sales people and i found this guy and he was a stud and he loved me and i loved him guy was a top producer got him closed on compensation you know pre-closed ready to go done deal send him in for the interview well he knocks it out of the park for the first 35 45 minutes gets real comfortable with our manager down there And decides he's going to crack a few Jewish jokes. Get out of here. Decides he's going to start cracking. Thinks he's Shecky Green up there. Is your boss Jewish? No, but his entire married family was. It wouldn't even matter. It wouldn't even matter. It tells you so much about the guy's judgment. Absolutely, man. Because what if he did that to a client? You always got to think, you know, this... Oh, he was great. He was great. I mean, he was an absolute stud. Shoe in, money in my pocket. My manager calls me and goes, yeah, I'm going to pass. And I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You cannot pass on this guy. And my manager was James Smith. I go, James, this guy's a killer. He goes, yeah, guys are racist. Was cracking Jewish jokes the entire last half of the interview. And I go, I go.

1:19:17All right. See you later. You got to assume that that person's on their best behavior during the interview. So they're only going to get more. So imagine him going out to a client and doing the same thing. And it's just like, dude, lawsuit right there. Lawsuit. 570-1949. Call me and tell me about the time that you royally jacked an interview. I mean, just messed it up. You if I had written down. The amount of excuses I've heard for people missing interviews. I had a lady call me one time. You could have written a book. I could have written a book. She goes, hey, Woods, it's so-and-so. I'm not going to make my interview in D.C. today. My horse got sick. My horse got sick? My horse got sick. That is a valid excuse. Maybe the horse was going to be in the races. What if your dog got sick, Woods? I'd make the wife look after him. I'd go get a job. Wow. Maybe he didn't have that. Yeah, I mean, what do you do when your horse gets sick? It's like for that person and for Woods, it's like a kid. You got to stay home and cook soup. Keep an eye out on it. Brush it. Really? Braid its tail. My horse got sick. What are you going to do? Stay home and put Sweet Home Alabama on for the horse? Woods would do the same thing if Jamie was out of town or something and one of his dogs got sick. Well, I guess maybe you'd take the horse to the vet. Yeah.

1:20:36Of course. It was Mr. Interview. Never got the job. This is Texas. I don't like the bit of canceling interviews. We don't have one call, by the way. Not one person has jacked up an interview. Well, either that or people are like, well, I jacked up an interview, but it wasn't that bad. Oh, I've seen it all, man. I've seen guys come in, wrinkly shirts, cat hair all over their jacket, smelling like last night's vodka. I'm like. Dude, this is a job interview with the fastest growing internet company in the country. And you look like you just rolled out of the gutter. Every radio job interview I went on, I wore a suit. Which is probably way overdressed. Over the top. But I got every one of them. Better be overdressed than underdressed. Yes. I bet. I wonder if I got it in spite of that. Probably. Probably because you're a talented dude. But I remember calling you going, hey, I got to come meet Garrett. What do I wear? And you're like, jeans. t-shirt i'm like i'm not wearing a t-shirt to an interview dude i always dress up and that's the thing you know i kind of thought in this kind of an environment that's what it is you know well they say to dress for the job that you want not the job that you have but still i guess no top radio people like on air people are wearing i guess we should get some cloaks and stuff then yeah that's true i don't wear cloaks i have an old scepter from a queen halloween costume i have

1:22:04I don't have a crown. I don't have a cloak. I don't have... I can dig up a few crowns at my house. Yeah, she's got some crowns. Can I borrow some time in Sienna? Of course. Of course. M1 Teagan, are you there? Yes. What did you do? What did I do? To bomb your interview. Oh, I just completely forgot the script that I was supposed to memorize. I memorized it all night long, study, study, study. I was supposed to act it out, and I get there. And it was just me and the manager in the room. It was my third interview. I was pretty sure I had the job. And I just completely couldn't remember any words from the script. And I tried to fake it. And there was just no way. I was a bumbling mess. At that point, I knew I didn't have the job. Teagan, thank you. That's Teagan from Oceanside. That must be the worst feeling. I remember I got the best voice agent in San Diego. The only reason I got this agent... was because I knew someone and she put me in touch with this agent here in San Diego. She was the best. Still is. She's still here. His name is Nancy. Yep. And you know her? Yeah. Not personally, but I know of her. Yeah. And I got this job. I mean, I got this agent and she sent me my first interview. In fact, the interview was for a character that to this day is still on PBS. Children's character, which I bet what you made.

1:23:33would have made a lot of dough. Oh, yeah. And I went to this thing, this audition, and all I remember was that I needed to sound like a, like, eight-year-old boy. Now, I can do voices. You guys know me. I can do voices. I was petrified. And I was like, hey! And they, it was like, they looked at me, first of all, like I was insane. They looked at me like I was insane, and it was just dead silent when I stopped talking, and they go, okay, well, we'll call you. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. That's nerve-wracking. See, if I think of all the auditions that I botched or just looked like an idiot, oh, my gosh. I would love to see it. I had to be a vampire in one, and they didn't.

1:24:26They didn't give you the sides until you got there. A lot of, excuse me, it's called a cold read. They'll just give it to you on the spot. And there was one and it said in parentheses, the action was bear's fangs. So on the spot, I was like. Like really bad. And made this face. And then I went into my, and the guy goes, meaner. Try to be meaner. And I did it like three times, repeated the same action. Less lame. Yeah. And he's like, make it good. Hey, try not to suck as much. Yeah, and you filmed it. How about this? Try not to be so stupid. And then I got in the car, and I repeated what I did in the mirror, and I went, oh, my God. I'm out. That's an idiot. Holy cow. That's Jesus. I like that. Let's play Name That Tune. Call us 570-1949 if you want to play. What do we have as a prize today? We have Comic-Con tickets. Are you serious? Sold out. So we'll do that. Yeah. I like these stories where somebody goes from being completely unknown to pretty well-known overnight. This is a good one. I'll tell you about that. Still got Woods of Wisdom coming out on the Mikey Show. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.

1:26:11Summer has finally arrived in San Diego. Get your head in the game and grab your tickets for the party at the beach. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Sion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. As by Local 94.9 Stage, The Silent Comedy, Nervous Records, The Burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Hit your tickets today for $30 at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. No service charges. And a buck of the $30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools.

1:27:17August 29th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. FM 94.9 welcomes San Diego's Pinback for the opening concert of the 2010 Del Mar Concert Series. Pinback, live, Friday, July 23rd, 4 p.m. at the Del Mar Racetrack. 4 o'clock Friday concerts are held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. All shows free with track admission. For more information, delmarscene.com. Enjoy exciting racing action. and stay for the free concert at the Del Mar Racetrack. With AT&T high-speed internet, you can connect at blazing fast speeds. See, I can log on and boom, I'm checking out a live feed of the news. And now, today's headlines from around the world. Fast, right? See, home high-speed internet from AT&T has blazing fast speeds, so it's easy to download funny videos, like this dog on a unicycle.

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1:32:53The counter medications are 100% quality guaranteed. You could trust every package with the Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. Looks like the 8 westbound at Fairmont Avenue, an accident there. That right lane's blocked by a semi and a car that collided. Also, the 5 northbound at Hawthorne Street, an accident earlier over on that right shoulder. It's a hit-and-run accident. CHP's on the scene. And the 163 northbound between 11th Avenue and the 8 is a little slow right now. Brought to you by Quiznos 5. 4-3 value menu. Get a great lunch for $5, $4, or $3. Quiznos. Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm. Toasty. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for this Monday morning, being brought to you by the folks at Guayaki Yerba Mate. Once again today, kind of a lay day in terms of size and swell. A little bit of a southwest, southeast really swell in the water now with a touch of northwest on it too, but really pretty small and weak across the board. Again, to add insult to injury, Eddie is back, meaning overcast skies this morning, cloudy to be sure, and some soft winds to go along with it. So what little surf we have is pretty weak and crumbly. Running in that knee-to-waist high zone, some chest-high ways, and that rear plus even on top of that at those standout open areas, most open to that dominant southwest small direction.

1:34:21As the day continues, though, we are expecting to see some more influence out of the south. So that could increase the size and shape of the surf to help it out a bit. And it looks like skies are overcast now, but it looks like it will burn up to a sunnier day a little bit sooner than yesterday. So that's the good news. Water temp slowly but surely creeping back up, too, in about the 60 to 62 degree range now. Very cold for this time of the year, but a lot better than the low 50s or the mid 50s that it was at just a few days ago. So look for some slight improvement as the morning continues. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops five locations, or you can always go online at southcoast.com. The surf report is forever brought to you by Guayaquil Yerba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Woods. Don't go to the doctor. It's in my family. We don't go to the doctor. Sienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. I was the guy most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Welcome back. Johnny was a schoolboy when he heard his first beautiful song. Tomorrow morning at 7 a.m.

1:35:52Our producer Jay is going to do exactly what Woods has suggested that he do many times. Grab a bat, pal. Tomorrow our engineers are going to make it so that we can play baseball in our hallways. Now. Tough gig we have. Yeah. It's real tough. None of the big bosses know that or it wouldn't happen. I think they're out of town. Yeah. I hope so. We just play in Rick's office. Is Rick out of town, our general manager? I know Sklenaris. Steve Sklenaris. He is? Yeah. Because the big guys have to be out of town on that. Oh, yeah. We have found that it doesn't really pass through the red tape. No. To do stuff like indoor baseball in the hall. But we're going to do it tomorrow morning at 7. I don't know why. Maybe we can use Rick's shower as a dugout. That'd be awesome. Yeah, he's in his shower. It's like you always say, man. Rules are made to be broken. I do not say that ever. I never say that. Rules are meant to be followed in Michael's book. They are. In my world, though, the reason that this is easy rationalization for me. This is easy. There's no rule. I haven't seen a rule about it. Show me the rule. I have not seen a rule about it. There is no rule in the bylaws that say, no wiffle ball baseball in the hallway. Nobody has ever said that. Because if they had, you know we wouldn't be doing it. But I'll tell you what.

1:37:17If anything bad happens. It's my fault. I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm just saying that. I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm just saying no matter what, we're doing it. It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. That's right. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Some sad news. This was everywhere all over the weekend. A 15-year-old girl passed away at an amusement park in Spain. She was on one of the most popular rides. Mikey. Pendulo. Of course it's called El Pendulo. It means the pendulum. And apparently they were on these little basket rides and it fell in midair onto another ride. And this ride is the most popular ride. It's been open for four years and nothing like this has ever happened. But this 15-year-old girl passed away. Two other people were injured and one of the victims actually walked away with just minor injuries. So really sad news. That amusement park is closed right now. San Diegans have cut water usage by 11. Yes, they're passing the goal of 8% throughout the last year. So it's exciting. That actually doesn't surprise me at all. Yeah, people have been pretty good about it. Yeah, I kind of consider San Diego people to get into it. Yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Padres sweeped the Diamondbacks this past weekend. It was awesome. Everybody looked sharp. Everybody was hitting bombs out of the yard. It was great. Chargers football, they are opening.

1:38:42camp next week, a week from today. They've opened quite a few practices to the public this year, too, which is going to be a lot of fun. And Louis Oosthausen wins the British Open. Woodsy, have you ever heard of a band called Shinedown? Yes. Shinedown had a guitar player named Nick Perry. He's got a sister named Christina. Christina's an unknown girl. She's not famous for anything. And Christina got her music into the hands. of one of the choreographers on the TV show, So You Think You Can Dance. Yeah. And I guess this choreographer liked it a lot and said, hey, listen, can you Rush record this professionally so that we could put it on the show? Rush recorded it? Yeah, no, no, no, not Geddy Lee and Neil Perry. No, hurry up, get it recorded. Get it done. Get it done as quickly as you can. So dancers danced a routine to her song. She has completely... blown up overnight. Right? Hitting number 13 on iTunes, number 23 on the Billboard Hot Digital Song Artist chart. Now, this is from two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, she was a waitress. Number 58 on the Billboard Hot 100, number 54 on Canada's Single Chart, number 10 on Amazon's Digital Singles Chart. I mean, I could keep going. She's made all these lists over the last week. How can you not love that story? Let's see. Here's some audio.

1:40:10First, we have to listen to a commercial. It's called Jar of Hearts. That's her single, and she's an unsigned artist. No one knew anything about her. Somebody's going to snatch her up real soon. Jar of Hearts? Yeah. First, we have to wait 14 seconds for a commercial to play. Okay. Just like with everything. Well, after her single played on the show, she even went and was invited to perform on the show as well on the piano, and the dancers danced around her. Is she good looking? Because if she is, then forget it. She's a picture you can't really see, but she looks cute. My dime played it for me. I like it. Your lady? Yep. I like it. It's awesome. Dude, that's incredible. So you think you can dance? They do, like, fast dances, though. They're dancing fast, but it's like a loving, passionate dance. Yeah, if you give me five minutes to learn the routine, L.O.B., I can show you exactly what it is they're doing. I just need five to ten minutes to get every move of the routine down. Five to ten years. I was expecting, like, an auto-tuned, like... I will say this. It reminds me of another artist. Rihanna? No. The girl from Evanescence? Colby Calais.

1:41:52It reminds me a lot. Sorry, a ghost just ran into the studio. Seriously? Knocked something down and then ran out of the studio. Oh my God, I watched it. What was it? It was the microphone goes bam. The mic just fell. Oh my gosh. It reminds me a lot of Avril Lavigne's voice. Yes. Yeah. It's like she's doing, it's almost kind of like she's doing an imitation of Avril. No, she's better. You're right. You're only saying that because Avril annoys you. Yes. If Avril was known for not being annoying. No, I like Avril Lavigne's music. Do you? Yeah, I have a bunch of it on my iTunes. So every time we've talked about Avril, you've been like such an Avril supporter? Yeah, I have. She's an avid Avril supporter. Yeah. I am not, but she does sound like her. I'm not either, but it's a guilty pleasure. Oh, yeah, big time. Guilty pleasure. Me too. Is it really guilty? Is it guilty? I'm not guilty. You know what kills me about that show? Dancing with the stars. You almost said clowns. No, no, no. So you think you can dance. But all of them. Dance with stars. Well, mostly. My wife will watch it. So I'm watching it through osmosis sitting next to her. Loving every second of it. And I just can't wrap my head around the person. Please don't judge me. I'm not judging here. I promise you. What I'm about to say is not judgment. It's a simple observation.

1:43:29All I'm saying is that I'm very different from these judges. The emotionally moved judge from dance. All I'm saying is that I don't... Listen, I'm emotionally moved by plenty of things. Film, even music. But when you see the person dancing and then they show the reaction from the judge and the judge is like... And then they finish and they go to that judge and that judge goes, closes their eyes, puts their head down, puts their hands up over their head and goes... Gorgeous. And then says, that was one of the best dances I have ever seen on this show. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. On this show. Or any single. I'm so sorry. That was fantastic. And I look at my wife and my wife's got big tears in her eyes and she goes, it's true. I've only watched that show like twice.

1:44:42I've been at somebody else's house. And one time it was that Leona Lewis song, the keep bleeding love. Yeah. And I will say it was moving because you see the body do things that you didn't think it was capable of. And it's just in such like synchronicity with the music. And you're like, wow, that's amazing. For the first time, you may have explained to me because that's the thing I'm like. That makes sense. Maybe it's because you're like, wow, that's really an amazing feat. And with that music, it's sort of moving. It has to be in conjunction. And it almost highlights the song and brings the song to a new level. I probably still wouldn't do the... Yeah, I wouldn't do that. But I've been moved. Wow, that was beautiful. They're professionals and they know every little movement. I watch it, and even the ones that they say are awful, I'm like, wow, that was amazing. Me too. Everything looks great. I don't know. What do I know? Sometimes it's just really beautiful, though. If you execute it well with a good... That was judging. I'm sorry. I judged. With a song like that, that already kind of tickles you and gets a little bit of the hair standing up, then to see someone do this, see the body contort in a way that you didn't think possible. This irritated Rebecca so much.

1:46:04I go, babe, watch the same exact thing, but mute it. And she goes, that's the dumbest. And I go, just please. Try it. I go, humor me. And as we were watching with no sound, I went. And she had to admit, it's very, very different. It's a symbiotic thing. Yeah, it has to all work together. All right, let's do some Name That Tune. This will be for, I'm assuming Comic-Con tickets. Yes. So come on in here, Jay. Oh, boy. This is for all the marbles. What are we doing? What is the category? The category is, I've forgotten, TV shows. TV shows. Okay, cool. Great. TV shows. And it's just like name that tune. We use our name as a buzzer. These like TV shows of when you were a kid, Jay? So it'll be like, you know, The Little Rascals. Howdy Doody. Andy Griffith Show. Lassie. Howdy, dude. Howdy, dude. When the rose switched to me. Feels real good. All right. Let's do this. Come on. Come on. All right. TV shows. TV shows. Boy, Lauren's going to have a hard time getting her name in today. Lauren doesn't watch it. She doesn't have a TV. She watches stuff on Hulu, though. Yep. Yep. Here we go. All right. Here we go. Whoa.

1:47:26Screamer. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. I know that show. I know. As soon as you said it. As soon as you said it. Rockford Files. I'm glad I didn't guess. All right, here we go. Mikey. Sesame Street. Wow. I didn't get called on, though. You're fine. I gave you the head nod. It counted because nobody else was in contention. Nobody else yelled. Here we go. Mikey. Wow. WKRP in Cincinnati. Holy cannoli. Some morbidly obese kid watch a lot of TV. WKRP is on TV as well. Here we go. Lauren. Uh, Lauren. Fat Albert. Mikey. What's happening? Lauren is gone. She's gone to the ground. Why did I always do that? I don't know. Is it because you thought Fat Albert?

1:48:44I wonder what made her think about Albert. Rerun. Gosh. Okay, here we go. Lauren. Malcolm in the Middle. Wow, great job. You've never seen it. I've never saw it. Great show. Here we go. Woods. Woods. 90210. Come on, pal. It's actually Beverly Hills 90210. He's on the board. Woods. Mikey. Woods. Dang it. Cheers. Oh, dude, no. Dianna. Damn it. Me? Yeah. The Office. Cheers. I watch The Office every day. I know. Cheers. Wow. Your wires got crossed. My wires got crossed real good. Sienna, update us on the score. I yelled like eight times. Cheers. Lauren, zero. Woods, one. Mikey, two. Me, one. Nice. Here we go. Let's race. Three remaining. Mikey. Of course. Greetings. Star Trek. What? Wow.

1:49:48That's impressive. You ever seen a naked woman? Really? Wow. He has three. My wife. That's right. Here we go. We've got two left. Two remaining. At least catch. Oh, nice. That's right. Sienna, that's right. That's like Pajobi. Close game. Close that are alive. Lauren, nothing. Woods, one. Me, three. Sienna, two. Wow. Ooh, this could be a tie. I've got one remaining. Oh, Woods. Mikey. I'm so afraid. Woods. Let's see Beverly Hillbillies. Yeah. Tie game. Tie game, ladies and gentlemen. Wait, wait, wait. We have one more? No, we don't. Mikey won. Yeah, Mikey won. Woods, two, me, two, Mikey, three, Lauren, zero. Did I really say cheers? I watch, you don't know how much of The Office I watch. Never seen it. What would have made you say cheers? The piano. The piano. Really?

1:50:54Good job, Mike. Yeah. I know. And realize nobody's watched the Rockford Files since 1978. I never even heard of it. Me neither. Man, that was... That one got me. Oh, yeah. I threw you off. I know. I was going to say, like, Sanford and Son. I love the scream. Mikey screamed his name. I know it. Mikey! I always scream. I love naming that tune. Play it all day. Now it's time... Something that we do call old-time radio. The idea, of course, is that we put ourselves back into the old-time radio days, even right here in San Diego. All the good old-time stations, like KGB, all the KCBQs of the world, still exist. Real old-time radio. I have it already. Guarantee you. If I'd been alive in 1932, a little obese kid would be sitting there in front of the radio with his hands up to his cheeks, up to his chin. This is my favorite program of the list. Dad, I've got my decoder ring. Hey, Mike, do you want to go play baseball? Not that. I'm going to just sit here and eat Ovaltine by the Fislows. Fislows. Starring Jessica Dragonette. Tonight's romance, The Student Prince.

1:52:31Why? Why? Why? I don't know. I will never understand. And was there one year that it changed? In other words, in 1940. Did everyone talk like this? In 1945. Hello, I'm Jessica Dragunov. Hello. And then the next year it was like, you know, talking like that's really lame. It's really getting old with the over-enunciation. It was trying. They were trying to sound posh. Is that it? That was a styling. Yeah, it was trying to sound like you were very sophisticated. Do you suppose that outside of that, though, like when you were at home and you were just talking to your wife, would you get into an argument with your wife and you'd be like, darling, you can't continue to do this. She's like, hey, D, you're not at work anymore. The fake accent. This is not a fake accent. This is the way that I speak. No, it's not. It is. You're from New Jersey. This is upsetting. The Palmolive Beauty Box Theater is brought to you every Wednesday night by the makers of Palmolive Soap, The Student Prince, starring Jessica Dragonette. Oh, wow. Oh, it does come on. A hell of an athlete back then, because I would have never listened to the radio. Absolutely. Running around outside all the time. Everything was like listening to The Wizard of Oz. I was just thinking that, yes. We wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land. What the hell with the Munchkin Land?

1:54:04Well, hello, everyone. I'm Mikey. And now it's Woods on Sports, see? I've got a funny joke for you, see? Yeah, what's in the news? This is Jessica Dragonette saying good evening to my friends at the Palmolive Beauty Box Theater with Al Goodman's Orchestra. Is that Prince Glinda the Good Witch? It sounds just like her. Maybe I do Woods and Sports in old time radio. That would be fantastic. You should do an entire break. And what... What dopey agent, by the way, what dopey agent sat across from a young actress or whatever and said, I think I've got a good one for you. We're going to call you Jessica Dragonette. And wasn't immediately fired for that. So you walk into an audition, you're like, hi, how are you? I'm good to be here. My name's Steve Woods. And the guy's like, dude, you need to work on your accent. Pardon me. Hello there, I'm Steve Woods. trying to get a spot on the radio gig here. What if I walked into Garrett's office for my interview? Hello, Garrett, 94.9. Much better, lad. Come on in. Much better, lad. Have a seat in the parlor. One of the lovely songs of tonight's story, Deep in My Heart. But Deep in My Heart sounds nothing like smoke on the water. Just a guess. Just a guess that Deep in My Heart sounds nothing like smoke on the water. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I was unable to sing for you these past two weeks.

1:55:29but I shall never forget the kind messages of deep concern which you sent me. And I want to thank Lanny Ross for stepping in at the last minute and the makers of Maxwell House Coffee. I want to know, are you a good witch? Are you a bad witch? I think these people would have felt about Elton John with the big rainbow afro, the big oversized glasses, the suspenders. They gave him permission to appear. But tonight, I'm thrilled to sing the part of the wise little waitress cafe in The Student Prince. It's a most interesting story. Kids listen to this, by the way. Mm-hmm. Did you hear her setting up her bit? Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Here's what you're about to hear on the Palmolive Super Hour or whatever. I'm Jessica Dragon. I'm Jessica Dragon what? Dragon Ant. Dragon Ant. ...of a wild but likable young prince who fell in love and jeopardized his throne. That excellent young tenor... Little did she know, 40 years later, the throne would be a toilet. They call it that back then. William Hayes. That would not be posh. Prince Carl. And in his scarlet uniform, he looks very handsome indeed. Yeah, they also changed scarlet to just being called red, by the way. That happened somewhere along the line. A scarlet scarf. There's stuff that you think that is real healthy. It isn't. Cheesecake. You don't think cheesecake's healthy. Yeah, it's got cheese in it. Fish sticks? No, no, no, no.

1:56:55Is that what we're, that's not what we're talking, right, Sienna? One of us is eating something in this room that goes with one of the categories. Oh, great. Really? And they think they're being healthy. Stuff that we think is good for us. Yeah. It isn't. Next. Oh, also, Woods brought something up yesterday and I go, ah, don't even tell me anymore. Save it. Wait till you hear about this. Woods and I are going to, because it's his birthday, we're going to discuss this like gentlemen. It will not. turn into a full-fledged argument, we're both going to keep open minds. It's next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

1:58:00Well, the bad news is tonight's FM 94 Night Show with the Dead Weather at House of Blues has been sold out for a while now. But the good news is we're going to broadcast it live. We will be simulcasting the Dead Weather Show at House of Blues tonight, live and commercial-free as it happens. So if you're not going to the show, you can listen along at home. So there's that. Beastie Boys DJ Mix Master Mike will do a DJ set downtown at Flux this Thursday night. And Pinback are playing after the last race at the Del Mar Racetrack this Friday night. Next week, you can see the Night Marchers at the Casbah on the 29th. And then Transfer are doing two nights at the Casbah, July 30th and 31st. My Morning Jacket play House of Blues August 11th. The Independence Jam Coastal Invasion is August 29th at Oceanside Pier. Green Day will play Cricket Wireless on September 2nd. And we've got an FM 94.9 about the music show with free energy. That was only $8 at the Belly Up on September 5th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com.

1:59:47July 21st, the biggest party of the year returns. It's opening day at Del Mar. Join us as we celebrate San Diego's official kickoff to summer and all of the magnificent world-class horse racing action. Dress to impress with your coolest hat and be sure to enter it in our legendary hats contest. Don't miss opening day this Wednesday. Del Mar, cool as ever. The service is hard to beat. The 2010 sizzling Honda clearance is happening now at San Diego's newest state-of-the-art dealer, DCH Honda of Lemon Grove. Least the 2010 Honda Civic Sedan LX Automatic for just $69 a month plus tax, or the 2010 Honda Accord Sedan LX Automatic for just $89 a month plus tax. Both nicely equipped. And every customer gets our VIP program and $20 oil changes. Learn more at dchhondaoflemongrove.com. That's dchhondaoflemongrove.com. Or call 1-800-HONDA-CAR. Lemon Grove. That's Lemon Grove.

2:00:55The PCH Honda of Lemon Grove is located off the 94 on Lemon Grove Avenue. 2010 Honda Civic Sedan, LX Automatic, $69 per month plus tax. 2010 Honda Accord Sedan, LX Automatic, $89 per month plus tax. 27 months, $39.99 drive-off. No security deposit. 27,000 miles total for lease. 15 cents per excess mile. Must qualify with above average credit. It's sparse in 12010. Everyone's talking about Ovation Cell Therapy and how Ovation products are designed to maximize growth. strength, body, and shine for thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair. Ovation's natural products nourish your hair with proteins and amino acids to help reduce breakage and hair loss, creating visibly healthier hair. Grow your hair thicker, stronger, and longer, guaranteed, or you get your money back. Everyone's talking. I had over-processed hair, but Ovation Cell Therapy has brought my hair back to life. My hair is noticeably shinier. Softer, fuller, more manageable, and just all-around healthier. I feel like I'm doing something really good for my hair and myself every time I use Ovation. For healthier, shinier, more manageable hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. Don't put it off any longer. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. OvationHair.com. Everyone's talking about Ovation Cell Therapy, and you will too. Ovation works.

2:02:16Business as usual, we think not. New habits, new financial discipline, new thinking, and no more same old banking. My best friend banks at Mission Fed. My neighbor banks at Mission Fed. My sister banks at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust, stability, service the way it ought to be. Our personal service will impress you. Our products will inspire you. Like a full line of mortgage and home equity packages with low rates and closing costs. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. My boss banks at Mission Fed. A sound, stable, satisfying banking experience. Mission Federal Credit Union. Not your same old banking. Open a new account today. Call 800-500-6328 or go to missionfcu.org. Mission Federal Credit Union. We all thank you, Mission Fed. San Diego Banks at Mission Fed. Mission Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration and is an equal housing lender. Take the kids to school and make sure Jamie has her book report. Fight the traffic, late to meeting, compliment the boss's hair. Sit at keyboard. Check my email. Start to type. I'm slowing down.

2:03:29Need a lift? Go to McDonald's. Real fruit smoothies, wow, that's new. Juicy strawberries, sweet bananas, low-fat yogurt, yummy lift. Back to office, send a JPEG, R-O-T-F-L-O-L. Sip my smoothie, work is groovy. Day is done, I'm out of here. Fruitify your day with McDonald's new real fruit smoothies. Strawberry banana or wild berry. They're a luscious lift any time of day. And they start at just $2.29. Ah, home from work, the couch is mine. Time to get a good night's sleep. Get a text from Rachel. Meet at Mickey D's for a girl's night out. Price and participation may vary. Every morning at McDonald's, you can enjoy two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for just $3.50. Great breakfast value and the great taste of savory sausage, melted cheese and fresh cracked eggs. The sausage McMuffin with egg, just two for $3.50 every morning at McDonald's. This report is brought to you by In-N-Out Burger, serving you fresh grilled, fresh cut, freshly made to order food since 1948. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about.

2:04:26On the 8 eastbound, Wearing Road, an accident. That right lane's blocked. Three cars and a semi involved. Traffic really backing up. And the 76 eastbound, Vistaway, a disabled car. That left lane's blocked. Looks like a tow truck's on the way to pick them up. Valley Center Road, McTan Road, an accident here. It's an overturned vehicle. This report also brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100% quality guaranteed. So you can trust every package with the Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. I'm Stacey Cohen. FM 94.9. KBZC San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The auto-tune stuff is great. You love it. Oh, I can't get enough of it. I think it sounds great in my ears. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? Woods. Dude, do you know that I've ripped sheets with my toenails before? Sienna. We're going to a nice place downtown La Jolla on Prospect. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbor. On FM 94.9. Sounds like a Lexus commercial, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It's actually not. It's the number one rock song in the country right now from one republic. It's called Secrets. Come in. There are five people on the Mikey Show. Myself, Woods, whose birthday it is today is 35. Happy birthday to our boy, Woodsy. And Lauren. Lauren O'Brien is 29 years of age. I'm 40. Sienna is 25.

2:05:57And Jay is 47. How old is our phone screener, Austin? 19. He's 19 years old. He's just a baby. There's somebody to represent all age groups here on the Mikey Show. Our phone number, 570-194-9. Sienna, what do I think is good for me it actually isn't? Yogurt. Really? Flavored yogurt. Because of the sugar? Yep. Oh, yeah, and plain yogurt. It's just so delicious. They say get plain yogurt and add like a teaspoon of honey, maple syrup, or all fruit spread. That's exactly what I do. Do you really? I had this conversation with the Mikey Show wives, actually, on the way back from the baby shower. You take some plain yogurt and you take a lime or a lemon and you push the zest in there. Oh, my gosh. It gives a flavor to it. Delicious. Honey sounds like it would be good. Berries. Berries and a little bit of grade A or grade B. Maple syrup. Another drink A1 from the jar. I do that anyway. My goodness. Sugar-free cookies and candy. Not any better than eating the real thing. They have other things in there. Yeah, they contain sorbitol, which causes bloating. I can't get enough sorbitol. Eat by a handful. I snort it. Snort sorbitol. I can give you the number threes. You can? Yeah. Do you guys remember? Yeah, it gives you the threes. Do you guys remember?

2:07:14There was a product that came out in potato chips. It's the way that they were able to make potato chips have like zero calories. Yeah, guess what? Gave everybody threes. So they had to get rid of it. They say if you need some cookies, have this for your fix. Graham crackers. Delicious. It's no cookie, though. Or just have a cookie or two of the real thing. Just don't have a sleeve of them. Just don't feast on them. It's a good idea. Why not? Just do that. Do that. Trail mix. Trail mix isn't good for you? The store-bought trail mix. Homemade only. Oh, really? You're like L.O.B. You're out there shucking almonds? No, and what I said before the commercial break was one of us is eating them and it's woods, but that's not bad. These are just almonds. Yeah, no, I know, but that's in trailblazers. This is delicious. You're eating raw almonds. Raw almonds, not salted. I got shamed out of those by Captain Callout over here. Must be nice to eat little pellets of wood. Would anybody like any of my almond and hominy homemade?

2:08:15Trail mix a la L.O.B. Thumbtacks. In a store-bought trail mix, they have yogurt-covered raisins and stuff like that, which aren't good. Banana chips are not really good. They're deep fried. I have something called Big Mac Mix. It's a bag. Shredded Big Mac. Thousand Island and ground beef. Eat it in a heartbeat. Hey, but there's lettuce in there, so it's healthy. Pickles. Veggie chips. Disgusting, anyway. I know. They said they're no better than the potato chips, regular ones, that we would eat. My wife bought those. They're really salty. They have 150 calories and 9 or 10 grams of fat per handful. She bought those. There's green, red, and orange, maybe? That's filthy. And it's like, oh, this is carrot-flavored chip. Delicious. They're gross. They're disgusting. Well, eating a potato. That's a veggie. Delicious. Yeah, potato chip tastes real good. Real good. Carrot chip, not so much. Broccoli chip. Yeah. Ew, they are like broccoli chips, the green ones. Granola, another thing. L-O-B. So much. Like, if you have one cup of granola, 560 calories. Wow. A cup of granola is 560? 28 grams of fat before you add milk. If it's been sweetened or not.

2:09:36Really? A lot of hippies out there crashing their car. Yeah. I know. There's a lot of Priuses spinning out right now. People going, oh, no. Well, a lot of times it's coated with, like, sugar, honey. Delicious. Cheesecake. Yeah. I have to coat my granola and cheesecake. Cognac. This one. This one may freak a lot of people out. Ground turkey. Often includes fat and skin. A three-ounce serving contains 13 grams of fat, almost triple the amount of lean ground beef. Look at LLB. She's about to gag. Skin? Yeah. Ew. Skin, toenails, fingernails, all kinds of stuff. Whatever it takes. Hey, listen. Yummy. That's what I said. My wife makes spaghetti. Keep that bird out of it. Don't try to sneak that past the kid, dude, because I will get you. See, your fake vegetarian bit, Mike, kind of inspired me to become one. It did? Yeah. My vegetarian thing lasted 48 hours. Not even. Not even. You're feasting on pork, beef. LLB, Captain Callout. Captain Callout says back in the office on Friday, she goes, hey, how's that fake vegetarian bit working out for you? And I go, what are you talking about? She goes,

2:10:53How was that pork this morning? How was that loin of pork that you had? And I go, oh. I think you had like duck, pork, beef. Oh, yeah, duck, pork, and beef. Didn't even think about it. It wasn't even like. Didn't even think about it. It wasn't like one bite and then oops. It was like feast. Feast. Scarfed it down. Maria Maria came in and brought a delicious feast. It was so good. So good. And we all piled it down. Yeah, if you're just tuning in, I'm not vegetarian anymore. I thought it. When you were doing it, I was like, oh, I'm going to call him out. But I was like, we had a live studio audience, and I didn't want to be a big B-word. I was like, I'll just save it. I'll wait. I'll save it. I'll wait until after the show to be the B-word. Let's just throw it later. Break is hard. Break is a little hard. Is there anything else on that list? No. Good, because I don't need any of that stuff anyway. The turkey thing's gross. Oh, boy. Yeah. Well, it took... L.O.B. really thinks that people can't tell the difference between turkey. No, you can tell the difference. I'm just saying it's still good. You know when turkey's good? Thanksgiving. It's delicious. It's great on the bones. Slice it up real nice. Which Mike, he was claiming he was going to have tofurkey on Thanksgiving. I would have. I'm right, Mike. If I had stuck with Mike. I would have punched you in the face. There's no way. I swear I would have punched you in the face. You would have never. That's the dumbest thing I ever undertook. Absolutely.

2:12:13For two days. Absolutely. Do you not know your own name and who you are? Friday night, I actually thought to myself, and I thought, whatever made you think that you could do that? Yeah. Who do you think you are? Oh. What is the matter with you? Rebecca's probably bummed. She has to go back to making two meals. It lasted two nights. I went and got us dinner last night. And when I was walking into Stater Brothers. Dad, if you're listening, Statler Brothers. That's all I call it now. Statler Brothers, yeah. Yeah, me too. I love it. Oh, my gosh. He says yesterday, rabbit hole here just a bit, we're watching the Book of Eli. And the very beginning of Book of Eli, it's this dark, very solemn look to it. And my dad goes, that is so sad. He goes, it has such a look of, how did he say it? He goes, it has such a look of a Washwitz. A Washwitz. And I go, okay, Dad. Stop, pause. Yeah, Dad. Auschwitz. I let you get away with a lot of these. I let you get away with American Online. I let you get away with Statler Brothers. I let you get away with a lot of these. But a Wawashwitz or whatever it was. A Wawashwitz. A Wawashwitz. I'm like, Dad is Auschwitz. Auschwitz. He goes, there's always his reaction. Actually, Michael, it's pronounced Auschwitz. Yes. I'm telling you. He messes.

2:13:42He's the king of those. My dad does the same thing. All dads do. All dads do. So Woods says yesterday, he goes, American online. Last year for Thanksgiving, we were going to stay in a lovely cabinet. That's not a joke. That is a true story. Not a cabin. Nope. A cabinet. He goes, where is the cabinet located? Oh my gosh. Dad, come on. I caught myself doing that. You can't just throw those out there. There's a show, Tosh.0, I think it's called. And I was calling, I called it Tosh 2.0. You did. You told me that. Several times. Everybody does that. He's even done it himself. Really? Yeah. Okay. Because afterwards, I'm like, you idiot. 5701949. So, Wood says yesterday, he goes, what do you think about this dude? He goes,

2:14:43We don't get to enjoy our backyard because when we let our five little, well, they have four Yorkies in a lab. And when they let the Yorkies in the lab out back, they begin to bark so loudly. Why? They're excited. They're excited. And my neighbor has, they have two dogs. And so we're separated by a fence. Their dogs hear my dogs run out. They attack the fence. My dogs attack the fence. And it's World War III. Right. So. Wood says that there's a new collar that they have for dogs, not a shock collar. It's got chlorophyll in it. Chlorophyll. Which I don't know. I've heard that word. It's chlorophyll. No, it's citrusy stuff because I've had it. It's not new. See, I thought chlorophyll was something dangerous, but. Isn't chlorophyll. Chlorophyll will knock them out. It's citronella or something.

2:15:39That's chloroform, pal. We had a little plastic. We had it for our dog. Our dog was a barker. We had a great, no, a Pyrenees. And this Pyrenees would just go out and bark like it would rock the neighborhood. Well, it's worth looking up. Let's find out what it is. But anyway, what Wood says it does is spray them in the face. My friends used to do with the little lemon juice that would come in a plastic lemon. When their dogs barked, they would spray the lemon at the dog. See, that sounds so confusing to me. If you were to put five dogs out in the backyard, the dogs start barking and you run out there with a little plastic lemon and start squirting them. Well, he can't keep up with that, but that's the idea of the collar. It's that sour juice. It's instant. That's the thing about it. It's an instant spray that happens if they bark. It breaks our heart. We're just so conflicted about what to do. And the neighbor's dogs have shock collars. So you hear them every now and then. They'll go. And then they start whimpering, and it's freaking terrible, and I want to beat that neighbor senseless because it's so inhumane to me. See, I would think that it would only happen in the beginning because then the dog would learn I can't bark. But a dog is a dog, and sometimes it's instincts. They get excited. They forget. They get used to it, and they're like, and they howl.

2:16:58It shocks them. My dog learned. We put a bark collar on. With a shock? Oh, full-on shock. Did it eventually stop it completely? Absolutely. Even you got the collar out. All I'd have to do is go like this, go, is this what you want? Right. And the dog was like, nope. I can't do it. Is that what I want? I don't want any of that collar. Dr. Pavlov in there. Mama Yami has to, every once in a while, spank the dogs when the dogs are bad. She has to spank them when we catch them doing something wrong. But then, like, time has passed. Right. This is instantaneous. Right, which makes even more sense. It's better, yeah. We are prisoners in our home right now. I mean, prisoners. Like, here's us every night. We've got to let the dogs out. And I'm like, I'm not doing it. And she's like, I'm not doing it. And we get in fights now about who's going to let the dogs out. Who let the dogs out? Who did let the dogs out? And so we're like. Wait, what's the big deal if your neighbor's dogs bark? They don't bark because they have the collar. Yeah. So now it's ours. I thought you said that they run at the gate. They do. They charge the gate, but they have shock collars on now. And so my dogs, you let, they, hey, you want to go outside? You want to go outside? They freak out. They get by the door. They start doing 360s. You open the door and they, like five dogs and shoot her. And we're like, oh, dude, we are going to. This is what happens. You're going to get a written notice. We got one. Oh, yeah. You get a written notice. And then eventually they'll come and they'll find you.

2:18:17And then they'll take your dogs away. Now, here's the deal. I got a couple of thoughts. A, I don't think it would take very many shocks for them to not bark anymore. Never shock my dogs. That's out of the question. It's like that one is off the table. Okay. Then they won't have to get sprayed very many times. It's like shocking your kid if he cries. No, I think it's a bit different. No, it's not. I believe that crying is not something that we've ever gotten. It's natural. Different sized ones for different sized dogs. Yeah, but I won't shock my dogs. I want to know if anybody's used this spray and if it works. Okay, now here's what I'll say about the spray. I don't think they'll be sprayed very many times before they stop. Yeah. B, Mama Yamey every once in a while has to take the hammer to them. So it's not like they've never been, you know, had a little bit of uncomfortability. Even human beings, we get tasered and pepper sprayed and we're misbehaving. Sure. And the shock collars, they've got them now where they build. They start off at the lowest setting and the dog barks. And it steps up a setting. And the dog wants to bark in and goes and goes. It's just out of the question for me, man. It's just out of the question. Which is fine. Spray. I don't mind making them uncomfortable with the spray. And if they don't like it, that doesn't bother me so much. It does a little bit. But the shock, no flipping way, dude. There's no way I can do it.

2:19:34570-1949 if you've ever used one of these spray collars. Yeah, I really want to know, man. And they're expensive. So, I mean, I'm going to end up dropping like $250. And, dude, yesterday we got home and Shooter had broken out of his $250 new kennel and has ripped my garage to shreds again. How did he get out? Were they used to being outside in your old place? Yeah, a lot. This is the problem. How did he get out? He chewed. Through the iron, literally, the iron thing, he bent it and slipped out through a crack that big. Wow. And we got home, and our garage was ripped to shreds. This is going to cost me thousands of dollars when it's time to move out of this place. Thousands of dollars. Because of what they've done? Yesterday, I almost took the stick to him, dude. I was like, I can't. He's got to learn, but he doesn't know any better. You know what I mean? Yeah, get him a collar. It's terrible. You know, M1, Pam from Escondido. Hi, how are you? Good. You've used this collar before? Yes, I work for a doggy daycare and a dog training company, and those citronella collars, not the shop collars, but the citronella collars work great. Good, good. That's what I wanted to hear. Yeah, especially on a Yorkie, they'll definitely work. Now, do they get used to the taste or the smell and, like, then it's not that big a deal anymore?

2:20:55Yeah, actually most dogs, they get used to it. And even if you put the collar on them, as soon as they see that collar, they know what's going to happen. So eventually you won't even have to turn it on. Okay, good. But what I was saying is like, I used to bite my nails. I still bite my nails. I tried that stuff that you paint on your fingernails so you wouldn't bite your nails. I just got used to the taste and started eating it. That's what happened with our dog. He got used to it? He got used to it and he was like, he knew he could just go. and it would spray, and he'd kind of keep his head turned to the side. He'd bark all the fluid out, and it was like, really? Might as well try that first. We're going to try it, and hopefully they'll learn. We're like, we're prisoners in our own home. It's the worst thing ever. Yeah, Jamie's like, hey, do you want to go outside and look at the beauty? We have our backyard. You can see the sunset. It's gorgeous. She's like, let's go watch the sunset. I'm like, no, I can't. Because if we go outside without them, they start tearing up the walls. I'm like, oh, my God. Do the dogs go on walks every day?

2:22:05Because that's really important. It is, but ours are so crazy that we could walk them for four hours and it wouldn't make any difference. They're still going to bark when they run out the door. Woodsy, M1 Lorenzo from San Diego, he's used both the spray and the shock, right? Yes, I have. What do you think? The spray didn't work. Dog got smart, man. He would turn that collar. He would lay down on the ground, roll around, turn it, and so it wouldn't spray him when he barked. Oh, my gosh. Woofie woof. And we switched over to the shock collar, actually went through a training program before we switched over, and it's probably the best thing we've ever done. They have them now where they have a vibrate feature to them, so you can shock them if they're really being horrible. But we have a little bichon poodle. Wolfie, Wolfie, I told you. Maybe I'll buy it and test it on myself. Well, the thing is, your dog knows how to use the phone and buy drugs. Make fake IDs. That's right. That's true. She's definitely going to figure out the car. They're pretty smart. M1, Kelly from San Diego. Kelly? Yes. Hi. How are you guys? Good. I have two dogs. I have a lots of poo, which is a tiny little thing. So sweet. Any dog with the name poo in its name. They're sweet.

2:23:27They're very sweet, but it does always make you kind of childlike think of poo. Go ahead. So Miles and Bella like to bark at everything, like people walking by our condo, like wind blowing through the trees, like whatever. And it drives my boyfriend crazy. So we try these Cichanella collars, and they both learn to just bark quiet enough to not set them off. Oh, my gosh. Dogs are so smart. So what'd you do? Really? That's fine. If they did it like that, we'd be happy. Whoa. We like to go woof. It's not quite that cute. Hey, listen, getting those notices in the mail of a fine is not very cute. That will never happen. I'll move before that happens. They'll find you. M1Yashu.

2:24:31From San Diego. Bless you. Is it Yashu? Did I say that right? Yes, you did. It's Yashu. It's my first name in Polish. Oh, wow. Okay. What's your actual first name? I want to know what you are. Yami Bougie. Yeah, Yami Bougie. Gesundheit. Yami Bougie in Polish is Yashu. I'm guessing Josh. Go ahead, Yashu. First name's Ian. But hey, guys, love your show, first and foremost. Woodsy, I've tried these things. I bought a condo, had an eight-and-a-half-year-old boxer, and then had about a one-year-old boxer at the same time. And I would come home, and those little canisters that you refill those things would be empty. At $60 to $80 a pop, it gets expensive. The collar in itself is expensive. But, man, I was blowing through those things, and it came down to a point I was still getting notices.

2:25:26Unfortunately, I had to get rid of her, but my brother ended up taking her. Good. Woodsy, and, you know, listen, if you're going to use the people analogy, if I took the mindset of every time I cause my child pain, I'd never do it. I'd never discipline. Question. Yeah. Maybe I'd buy one. Yeah. I'd bring it in and put it on you and shock you. See how that feels. Put it on you. No, put it on him. I don't want to do it. He's saying that we should do it. I'm saying I'll put it on you. I'll make you a deal. I'll put it on the lowest power. I'll make you a deal. On your wrist. I'll do it. I'll do it as long as I break the rule and I start barking when I go outside. Now, if I do that. Don't you? Because you know who doesn't? Happy birthday to our boy. Woodsy's 35 today. Shut up, Penny Bell. They plugged the golf leak. Or did they? Oh, man. Tell you next.

2:26:40down for a few minutes while i educate your butt let your voice be heard on the mikey show now how are these levels friends call 570-1949 or text 949 mikey at gmail.com more of the mikey show coming up in minutes on fm 94.9 summer has finally arrived in san diego get your head in the game and grab your tickets for the party at the beach the fm FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Sion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. Buy local 94.9 stage, the silent comedy, nervous records, the burning of Rome, and white apple tree. Get your tickets today for 30 bucks at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. No service charges. And a buck of the 30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. August 29th.

2:28:07FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Honest T. FM 94.9 welcomes San Diego's Pinback for the opening concert of the 2010 Del Mar Concert Series. Pinback, live, Friday, July 23rd, 4 p.m. at the Del Mar Racetrack. 4 o'clock Friday concerts are held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. All shows free with track admission. For more information, delmarscene.com. Enjoy exciting racing action and stay for the free concert at the Del Mar Racetrack. Honey, look, with Chase Quick Deposit, I can deposit these checks from anywhere. No kidding. Yeah, I just take a picture of the front and back of the check with my iPhone, hit send, and off it goes. Check it out. I'm making a deposit from the dining room. And now I'm sending one from the guest room. You're the man. Um, Mom, what's up with Dad? Well, your father's taking pictures of checks and depositing them. Now I'm in the bathroom. From the bathroom, evidently. Thanks that you deposit checks with your iPhone? Chase does. I'm at the top of the stairs and I'm going... I'm okay.

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2:33:07Two cars involve its partially blocking lanes. This report brought to you by CarMax. CarMax will buy your car today, even if you don't buy one from them. That's why the smart choice is always CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Oh, I want to go to battle. Lauren. I've got strawberry seeds in my teeth. Weird. Woods. I'm a mess today. I'm an absolute. 100% rat. Sienna. There's nothing wrong with mash.com. And Jay. Yeah, I killed a snake. I didn't want to, but he gave me no choice. On FM 94.9. Don't forget, tomorrow morning at 7 o'clock, Jay is going to grab a bat pal. That is what Woods says to Jay whenever Jay in any way sort of infers that Woods is... Not good at something. Words will go grab a bat, pal. Yes! So tomorrow, we're going to go out in the hallway. Our engineers are going to have it all set up so that we can actually play baseball in the hallway and probably get a lot of people upset. Good. So it should be awesome. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, last month, the month of June, was the warmest June on record worldwide. Really? Now this must have been done everywhere but San Diego. I know.

2:34:56It's been years and years since it's gotten that hot globally. Pretty crazy. Really? It's freezing here in June. Freezing. I know. Also a cool story. Two teenage boys from Spring Valley saved their four-year-old sister's life on Saturday afternoon. They rescued her from their burning home. The four-year-old apparently had a lit piece of paper. It was lit on fire. Took it from the kitchen into the bedroom, set it on the bed. Oh, my gosh. You know, huge fire went off. The mom was in the kitchen cooking, and the alarms went off, so everyone ran outside. The four-year-old was still in the house hiding in her closet, and the teenage boys ran back inside the house. house, found her and grabbed her and pulled her out. That's badass. I know. Great job, guys. Everyone's okay, yeah. Oh, my gosh. That just freaked me out because I got boys. Three boys. Little girls, for the most part, don't come walking into a bedroom with a newspaper with LLB, maybe. LLB did. She did. A little bit of a pyro. On the reg. When she was a kid. On the reg. Yeah. She did that on the reg. But I did not. I mean.

2:35:59I did. Boys always do the fire stuff. You burned your fence down. I burned the woods down next to my house. For sure. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the Chargers are opening camp next week. There are going to be a lot of practices open to the public, so that will be cool. And Louis Usthausen won the British Open yesterday in a landslide. The guy killed it. It was great. And the Padres swept the Diamondbacks this past week, and they are four games up in the West. So great. Last week. They put a big cork in the oil leaking out of the Gulf. A new tighter fitting cap we announced on Friday. It was really great news. Everyone's so excited. Until over the weekend, we found out that a seep has been detected a distance from the well. So there's some oil seeping out now.

2:36:52Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that. It's seeping somewhere other than the well. Yeah, it says a distance from the well. And that's what Thad Allen, who's the point man for the spill response, announced. It's Thad Allen. But the administration wants the oil eventually to be piped to the surface to ease the pressure on the well. But however, doing that would require uncapping the well again. They just got this new cap on. And it would be three more days of oil spilling in the Gulf waters. They're still working on the relief wells. Until those are done, I don't know what's going to happen. What would change your life if you ever ran out of it? I mean, change your life you ran out of it. If the world ran out of it the most, what would change your life the most? The easiest question ever. What? Toilet paper. Toilet paper's good. It's a great one. Holy cow. I was thinking water. I was thinking water, too. That's obvious. Something that wouldn't kill you. Right. So not food, not water. You're like, what do I do? What do I do? Lotion. Gotta have lotion. Lotion's good. For real, Jay? Even I wouldn't say that, and I moisturize all the time. I like a little good lotion. I would like a little lotion. That was probably a good time. What's this weird about his lotion? I got him some for his birthday. You did? Yeah, and chapstick. Did you get his brand?

2:38:15No, I just grabbed a Vaseline or something. Healing hand cream. Thank you guys all so much, too, for my birthday presents. You guys are amazing. Thank you, man. You guys are the best. What about you, L.O.B.? There's nothing in the world that if it went away, it would really bug you. Coffee. Barley. Barley. Kombucha. And it did. It did. It did go. Woods. Cigarettes. Oh, yeah. Any tobacco, let's just say. The kid loves him some tobacco. Bras. Oh, you'd be toast. If bras went away? I'm so miserable. Let's go back to the toilet. What do you do? Nothing. Bidet. Oh, no. Yeah, bidet. Bidet. Use a shirt? No, bidet. No, but if you don't have a... What if you don't have a bidet? What do we live in? France? If we ran out of toilet paper... Let's go buy a bidet. You know, if the world ran out of toilet paper, we would put something in there. Yeah, I mean, the scenario that you're suggesting is that we run out of toilet paper, so... Do not! Go in there. Woo! Yeah, I mean, we'd have to. We'd have to come up with something. Yeah, use your shirt. Hey, man. Throw it the wash. Listen, in some parts of the world, you don't shake hands with your left hand because that's the hand that you use to wipe. Shut up. So gross. It's a true story. Repugnant. Hey, listen. What about, like, Q-tips? Oh, that'd be terrible. How would you clean your ears? With a pen, like I do. Ew! Yeah, and I only use Q-tips, like, once a week or once every couple weeks.

2:39:44Razors. Oh. Be hairy. Would it really be that bad? Wouldn't we get used to it? Oh, boy. Ladies. Imagine every girl with hairy legs. Hairy legs. Hairy armpits. Be like, hey, babe, time to sharpen a rock. Yeah. Guys would be fine. Guys would be disgusting. It would be disgusting. If women were walking around with hairy legs and armpits. Mustaches. Mustaches. I just don't think that there's anything that the human mind cannot adapt to. But this is stuff that we have now. What if it went away? That would really bum you out if it went away. That you really, really like. Speedballs. I'd hate for bras to go away. Would you? He'd love it. He would love it. He would love it. Look at the fun bags on that horse helmet. All I can think of for me would be Technology stuff. Oh, my God. You'd lose your mind. What would you do all day? No problem. What would you do all day? You know what we should do as a sociological experiment? Maybe we take all of his computers and technology for one week. One week? He's like, it's not even feasible. You can't even do it. I couldn't do it. You can do it. Well, we rely too much on it.

2:41:03Maybe on a vacation. No. He's not going to do that. I would easily do that. Sounds like a stunt. It sounds like something people would do in the X Games. You would have such a hard time. You would lose your mind. Yeah, be upset. He'd be like, all right, I'll give you $300. Just bring me my phone for 20 minutes. Just let me look at my phone for 20 minutes. I got my phone and my computer stolen. Back in the beginning of the year. And I felt like it was God's way of saying to me, hey, maybe take a little break. And I tried to chill out. Did you? I'm still trying to chill out. That's good. I'm very attached to the intranets. Laptop. You love using technology. I love technology. I love technology. Yeah. I would be really bummed if coffee went away. Again, L.O.B., this isn't like, oh, I'm going to die. It's like, oh, man, what do I really enjoy? Yeah, I'd be bummed if coffee left. Coffee. But I'd just find something else. Yeah, you would. I would, too. You drink Mountain Dew. It's not the same. Crack. M1, Carpy from Chula Vista. What are you doing, guys? Not too much, dude. Hey, could you imagine no plumbing, meaning no water, no nothing like that?

2:42:30See, I would give my technology up before I would give up a toilet. 100%. You ever see the Green Mile? Yes. When Tom Hanks has to walk outside. And he's got a urinary infection. He's got a bladder infection, which is already a treat. And there he is walking out to that outhouse. And you walk outside. Can you imagine? It's 35 degrees outside. You walk out there and you feel like the cold little ice particles bouncing up against your ankles as you walk to the bathroom. First of all, if I wake up in the middle of the night now and the baby's crying, it's hard for me to go back to sleep. Imagine walking out into 35 degree weather to go pee. Forget it. It'd be the worst. The worst. The worst. So plumbing, yeah. Yeah, plumbing's a great one. Plus, how do people shower? Buckets. Buckets? A lot of countries, they still do it that way. This is your allocated amount of water. And they punch holes in the bottom of the bucket? No, you take it and, like, one by one. You spoon it over? With a washcloth. That's why I'm glad I live here. They'd all put it in a tub, and then they'd take turns, and then they'd go from oldest to youngest, and the last one is in filthy water. Look at Santa's going to throw up. Filthy. That is so disgusting, you guys. Oh, it's so gross.

2:43:59You're bathing in people's filth. We bathe in mineral water. It's not a big deal. Yeah. I get Evian. Evian. She's going to bathe her child in Evian. Can you imagine if we all just stunk and then we were all used to it? Yeah, and we had to sit in here with each other every day. Be used to it. Be used to it. Gross. I'd really be sad if makeup went away, too. Yeah, so would most men. So would most men. No, but when you're a girl and it's just like, oh, there's nothing better than putting it on and you're like, oh, I look great. Hey, when you're a guy, there's nothing better than seeing you when you guys have all put on your makeup. Yeah, but if nobody had it, bring down the bar. Yeah, the bar would be like, oh, all right, I guess. I just like having it. It's a safety net. There's women that, you know. My wife, I've always said she looks as pretty in the morning without makeup as she does when we go out to dinner. I call her classic beauty. Classic beauty. Classic beauty. I love that. You know what I need right now? The gold? I need the gold. I want the gold. I want to know what a gold is. I want the gold. You know, Mike, to me, it looks like a leprechaun. I want the gold.

2:45:15It look like a leprechaun to me. I got to look up in the tree. Who else if a leprechaun say yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Relationships. Yeah, he can fix them. Woodsy. Woodsy. Woodsy. If you want to ask Woods a question, you can call 570-1949. Woods of Wisdom is where we ask Woodsy questions that have to do with guy stuff. Could be a relationship. Could be something to do with clothing. Could be cologne. Could be anything. This email says, Woodsy, my old French teacher from high school is on Facebook. I know because I looked her up. She's 32 now and I'm 26. She's listed as single and I had a crazy crush on her back in the day. How would you proceed, M1 files? Oh, dude, I think that's something that you absolutely have to go for. I don't think there's even any question that, A, you need to do it. B, I would probably do the standard friend request, followed by a little private message, maybe in French. Yeah. Maybe spice it up real good, put it in French. You don't think, no, question. Incredible. Question. Percentage of chance, she goes, aw. Dude.

2:46:36How cute. I mean, 32 and 26, it's not that big a difference, man. It's not. But in her mind, it's not. What if she's cougarific, pal? Cougarific? She's only 32. I know, but he's 26. That makes her a cougar. Oh, I thought cougar was older ladies. It doesn't have to be. Older than the pub. My wife is on the phone. Oh, boy. My wife is on the phone. Hi, honey. Hi. How are you guys? Good. Hi. Hi. I'm not calling about anything you guys are talking about. Sorry. It's all right. Jake wanted to say something to Uncle Woods. Hang on. That's going to make the kid cry. The kid's going to cry. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Uncle Woods. Happy birthday to you. Would you just tear it up? Would you just tear it up? That was so good. That was so good. Jakey. Bubba, that was so good, Bub. That's such a good job. Are you there? That made my day. Are you there? I think he hung up. Bubby. Jake. Jakey. Jake, can you hear me? He's like, and I'm out. Yeah, just died. I don't know how I know. I love you, buddy. Thanks, man. So sweet. So sweet.

2:47:55Okay. Happy birthday. What an angel. Thank you so much. That was so sweet. Kid just teared up real good. Oh, that was so great, babe. Love you guys. Love you. Oh, it's so sweet. I could hear Jake sing that every day. I know. That's the greatest thing ever. Woodsy taught Jake had to hit a baseball yesterday. So cute. Sure did. So, so cute. We had a blast. It was so cute. So, okay, back to that. So she won't think that this dude is a dork? No. You are my student. Really? No. She doesn't have it in her head that he's in that category? No. She's like, still got it. Really? Yeah. All right. I think he needs to go. But I think the key is a little sweet little funny message in French. I think that's a home run. Slay her. That is a pretty good move. And then you'll slay her. But make sure it's right. Yeah, make sure it's grammatically correct. What does that mean? Where's the bathroom? No. Would you like to go to bed with me? Oh, my gosh. Remember that song? L.O.B. knows how to say that, Weird. Everybody does. Everyone knows. That's what it says. I had no idea. Weird. It says, do you want to go to bed with me? Would you like to go to bed with me? Would you like to go to bed with me? Okay, this one says, Woods, I want to get a man's point of view. I was cheated on last September, haven't dated since. There's a new guy at work who I think is really great.

2:49:17But he's mentioned before in passing that he has cheated on girls. I don't hang around him enough to know if things have changed, but just want to know from a guy's perspective how to investigate without seeming like I'm prying M1 Stace. Well, you know, I think finding a guy or a girl, for that matter, that has never cheated on someone is kind of, it's pretty tough to do these days, unfortunately. Oh, yeah. It's very tough to do. I agree. I'm with you. Very tough. What do you want? Listen, there are people that haven't. L.O.B. says she hasn't. I never have. I know plenty of people that have. You never have? Nope. You've never cheated on anybody? No. I never did either. Get out of here. I swear on everything I love. Sienna. Have you? You never did? Never. Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have. Jay? It depends technically how you... Yeah, see... Because she broke up with me, but then she wasn't. Men get all technical about it. No, you've been in love with somebody or somebody's been in love with you and you've done something you shouldn't have done. But that's the hard part. But here's the deal. I don't think you can cast aspersions at this guy just because he's done it in the past. If he's somebody that you like, give him a shot. I will say this, though. You never know until you throw it out there. Maybe you're right, Woods. Maybe...

2:50:33People all have their checkered past with the cheating and all that stuff. But I will say this. It's a whole other thing when a dude's like mouthy about it. Yeah. I mean, he may have said, yeah, I cheated on my last girlfriend. I mean, it doesn't make him, you know, it makes him in my eyes a pretty normal dude these days. I mean, let's call. Maybe he didn't talk about it. Yeah. But then he's kind of a dirtbag if he doesn't talk about it. Well, how does it come out in the open like that? It's not like he's in a relationship with his coworkers. I don't know. I mean, you know, hey, there's stuff I heard at work with some of my boys that they tell me the stuff that they did. And it was, you know. Would you want those guys to date your sister? No way. Actually, there's a couple of them I wouldn't mind dating my sister. I mean, you know. Really? Yeah. Some guys grow out of that stuff, though. Some guys grow up, man. You know, a lot of them is when they're young and they just don't care. Some guys grow up. I did. He did. Jay did. M1 Brian from Fallbrook. How old are you, Brian? I'm 29. Never cheated? Never, never cheated on. I was married for three years, never cheated. And girlfriends after that, never cheated on. That a boy, Brian. I'm just saying it's rare. It is rare. I don't know if it's rare. It's kind of like finding a virgin these days. It's probably a pretty tough thing to do. I don't think it's that rare. Really? I know plenty of people that I'm friends with. Over in Perfect Town? No. For real? All over the country. Lauren? Mm-hmm. Are they over 15?

2:51:52Yeah. Wait, that are still virgins? No, they haven't cheated. Oh, yeah. She's like, oh, I don't know one virgin. Woodsy's right. I know you. Yes, he is. It's not as rare as being a virgin. It's pretty rare. Oh, my gosh. Never. I mean, we're talking seventh grade and on when relationships start meaning something to you. Woods, you know what I think, too? I think women, I may be totally wrong about this, but I think women go. Oh, I've never cheated. I've never cheated. Because they know we buy it. Right. We're like, really? I know. We buy it. Yeah. From the women. Yes, of course. They've probably cheated 950,000 times. I know, dude. I'm telling you. And they're saying to us they haven't. I just swore on everything I loved. Yeah, me too. Well. I'm a superstitious person. Okay, wait a minute. Maybe you guys don't consider certain things cheating. Like what? I'm talking a kiss. Anything. I never did that. Never. When I was with someone, no. Not even emotional cheating. Emotional. Cheating. I've maybe done the emotional cheating. Not the physical, though. Really? Yeah. You guys are better than I am. I'll tell you that right now. No. Maybe chicks just don't. Maybe they just don't. I think girls less likely than dudes, I'd say. Guys are so easily influenced by a boob. Yeah, 100%. You put a boob in my face, yeah. That's why I stay home every weekend. Girls don't have that really. Don't leave the house. Girls don't go. Tangle my wife. Girls don't go. Listen.

2:53:19I saw that dude's butt and I... I have to have it. I had to have it. I had to have a bite of it. I drove off the road. I parked the car. And I know I sound like a creep, but I parked the car just so I could see this guy walking around in his jeans. Yeah, exactly. It's not like that. I mean, you're like, yeah, look at that butt. And then you keep moving and you forget about it. Okay, here's another one. Dude, Woods. I have a first date with this hot girl named Tara next weekend. Sounds hot. I'm getting my car washed right before the date. What scent should I go for? Oh, my God. That's a great question. M1 Bolts. I have one already. Oh, yeah. I got my go-to. You have your go-to? Yeah. The one I used to do was the... Let's go through them first. Let's go through them. You got your vanilla. Yep. You got your new car. Yep. Strawberry. Strawberry. Jasmine. Pine. Who the... No. No pine. Who's that guy? Maybe around Christmas time. I don't know. I want my car to smell like Lysol. Did I make a baby powder they have? That was mine. That was the one I always got was baby powder. There's coconut. What is it? Is it like a spray? It's like a spray. They like clean your mask with it and stuff. Yeah, when you get your car wash, they say, you want a smell in there? You want a scent? You've never been to one of those? They'll throw a scent in there for you. Or you can buy like the leaves that hang in there or the little trees. Yeah, the little cardboard tree. What do you get with? I got baby powder.

2:54:47Mine, coconut. Coconut, for sure. Love coconut. I have coconut in my car now. Me too. Yeah, it smells like, you know, tanning lotion or something. But my go-to back in the day when I dated, and I did the same bit every time I had a big date. Take my car through the wash. Really? Make it right. Yep. I like vanilla. Yeah, vanilla's one. Yeah. Vanilla's a good one. You know what I wish they made? I wish they made anything that is sold at Bath & Body Works or Victoria's Secret. Amazing. When a girl wears that stuff... Stripper smell. What? What? You've got to turn it into something gross every time? This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. This is a special alert to all Americans who are behind on their taxes or haven't sent out prior year tax returns. If you owe back taxes, you're now eligible to settle that debt with the IRS for much less than what you owe. For free information, call National Tax Relief today, 1-800-652-4135. Millions of taxpayers are now legally eligible to settle their tax liability for a fraction of what they owe.

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3:01:03KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. And I like fried chicken. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. I'm in a church since I don't remember when. Things were going great till they fell apart again. So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do. He said, you can't go hating others who have done. Never heard of him. But the number one country song in the country is from Jaron. Is it Jaron? Jaron. Jaron. And a long road to love. It's called Pray For You. I'm out on my country game. I don't even know that. It's pretty funny, though. You listen to it. He says he hadn't been to church in a long time. But then he's praying that she gets. Yeah.

3:02:02Oh, my God. Is it a joke? That's the male Carrie Underwood. It is. It's the male Carrie Underwood. Oh, my gosh. I pray for you. Oh, my gosh. I pray for you to get hurt. I pray you break your neck and you fall flat down. It's all sweet. Like crazy stuff. 570-1949 is our number. Let's see. So there are five people on the Mikey Show. Myself, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. We have a phone screener. Name Austin, who will take your calls right now. 570-1949. And I also want to mention our boy Jared, who does all kinds of stuff. He made the coolest poster for Woodsy for his birthday. Unbelievable. Of the guy from, the guy that you actually hear on that famous YouTube clip that we play all the time. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. And that's exactly what the poster says. To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. That's what it says.

3:03:25And it's a picture of him. I fell on my knees. That's right. When I got it. Woodsy had tears in his eyes on that one, too. How come you didn't bring that in today, Mike? Because it was so heavy. It's so huge. It's so big. It's this tall. Are you going to put it here? It's going in my office. And I thought about it, and I'm like, I want to... Bring that thing, you know, it's a giant thing. I want it in the studio. It's pretty awesome. I may. You may have to pry it out of my dead, lifeless fingers, though, because I've already got it leaned against the wall where it's going to go in the office. It's money. Well, Jared will do all kinds of stuff for you. He can do web design. He can do, and as a matter of fact, a friend of mine this weekend called to get his info because he's going to start a website, and I actually thought in my head, I'm so glad that you... Got his number. Yeah. He's going to take care of you. Because I wouldn't want my friend, like, this is who I would want my friends to call. You can go to Jared's website, createyourdesignonline.com. Amazing work. Amazing work. Such a cool guy, too, man. Really good dude. Such a good guy. He is. Let's see. So, the guy that played Darth Vader, first of all, there was an actor.

3:04:36That wore the Darth Vader suit. And James Earl Jones did the voice. That's all James Earl Jones did. He didn't get in the suit. James Earl Jones just voiced Darth Vader. He wasn't fitting in that suit. No. No. So they had a completely separate actor named David Prowse. Yeah. That actually got in the suit in all the movies. Yes. Same actor, by the way. Which is weird. You know, you go. All six? Does it matter? He was until they used another actor when he was unmasked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had someone else for that, but David Prowse was the guy always before that. Right. And so he has been banned from attending any Star Wars events. From now on, because apparently he annoys the creator, George Lucas. How weird is that? I know. He's upset with George Lucas, you know, for finding someone else for the unmasking. And it wasn't him when he's been doing all the work this whole time. Hey, man. Why did you find somebody else? I don't. I have the ability. I'm an actor. I'm an actor, man. I can do it.

3:05:40You fit the height and weight requirements. You're not. Dude, I'm an actor. You're not an actor. I'm an actor. He's 75 years old now. I'm an actor. And he's like, I'm trying to get in on these things and they're banning him. They won't let him in. I know. George Lucas can't stand him. That's hysterical. It's weird. It's weird. Go to Comic-Con. No, you're not. I'm the geezer bandit. They're like, yeah, get out of here. Beat it, pal. If he goes to Comic-Con, they kick him out. If Lucas was there, they'd kick him out. That sucks, though. It's like, he did the work. He should get the hookup, too. Yeah, he walked around. Yeah, whatever. Someone had to do it. I wonder if his picture's, like, hanging up, and they're like, wait a minute, you. Yeah, get out of here. I know who you are. Yeah. Troublemaker. Whatever his name is. David Prowse. David Prowse. Beat it, pal. One of the things that Woodsy and I like to do for laughs is sit in front of a soundboard and... Talk back to a soundboard. I'll say stuff. Woodsy will play back the clip. He kind of has to do it spur of the moment. He's got to be on his feet. And play back a clip of something that an actor is saying by using a soundboard on a computer. This time, Jim Carrey. Here with one of the biggest stars in the world. And I'm sitting here with Woodsy.

3:07:01You know what? Instead of me introducing you, why don't you introduce yourself to everybody? Hi, Harry Dunn. Pleasure to meet you both. You're not Harry Dunn. You are Jim Carrey. You're one of the biggest stars in the world. And I think it's really great to be here with you. First of all, I want to let you know right off the bat, we're not going to do the goof interview. We're going to do the fun interview, the real interview. We're going to get to know you. Is that cool? Oh, yeah. Awesome. All right. Let's get going then. First question. Hey. Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Absolutely. Absolutely. Simultaneously. Let's do this. Let's have you grow up real quick and not mess around. Let's do this for real, okay? I just want to apologize for that unpleasant scene a little earlier. No problem at all. It's so okay. Let me just ask you. What do you think will be next for you? Can you please? Try to be serious during this, Mr. Carey. I really want you to try to be serious. Oh, yeah. Good, good. Let's get serious then. Oh, God, that's funny. Oh, that's good stuff. I haven't said anything yet. I just want to apologize for that unpleasant scene a little earlier. It's okay. It's okay. It's already forgotten. In fact, I just think it's a privilege that I get to interview you at all. I've never interviewed you before. Man.

3:08:36You are one pathetic loser. All right. Well, that's great. You know what? Let's wrap it up. Let's just get out of here. Stop being a baby. I'm not being a baby because I've never interviewed you. I've never interviewed you, so I'm just trying to ask questions. That's all I'm trying to do. Tell me something about you you don't know. I got worms. All right. Okay, great. That's all we need. Okay. It's deteriorated. It's all we need. Thanks for joining us, Jim Carrey. You're really, really awesome. Oh, yeah. You can do it all day. You guys just clowns all the time. Yeah. Love doing that. Do that all day long. Jay put in his recap that he went to his doctor and he was getting his regular checkup. Doctor says, whatever you're doing, keep doing it, Jay. I love that. Yeah, it's great. That a boy. It's pretty awesome when your doctor tells you that. But what is not awesome is when your doctor looks at you like he did with Jay, looks at Jay's hairline and says, You know, I can set you up with a prescription that would not only help you with your prostate, but it'll also help you with your receding hairline. Oh, no. Yeah, and he's pointing at it with a pen like I don't know where it is. Like, you know, here are the trouble areas up in here. He's like drawing lines with Sharpie. I get it. I get it. Yeah, the hairs. Yeah. Yes. Did you ask about your hair? No. He didn't write it out. He just brought it out. It's like his time to insult me. Like, hey, everything looks pretty good, but hey.

3:10:02What makes you really feel bad about yourself? Hey, let's talk about your hair. Give me a pill for your penis size, too. What if your doctor, what if you went to the doctor? You need a little help in that category, buddy. You're not asking, but he goes. You know what? They make implants for your buttocks that'll actually make it look like you have a buttocks. That's like how it is now, though. They're just trying to sell you stuff. They're just trying to sell you on stuff. I can give you Rogaine for your chest to make you finally look like a man. Make you look like Paul Stanley if you want. Instead of having to shave your nipples, I can give you Rogaine for your chest that'll fill in all of that area. Unlike you, where just around your nipples there's no hair. You're like... Hey. Hey. I'm in for a checkup, dude. None of your business what I got with my business. What did you say, Jay? I just kind of sat there and he wrote down what the prescription would be. And I was just like, I was dumbfounded. I got home, I asked him, I said, should I take this? You know, she's like, no, absolutely not. You're not going to? I don't think so. You're like the youngest looking 47-year-old I've ever seen. Am I really that attached to my hair in the end? Jay, I'll tell you what. The minute.

3:11:14The minute a hair falls out of this head, it's on. So gain. So irritating. I pray on hair. Woodsy has the fullest head of hair. But if it comes, it's, dude, I'm fighting that. You don't have any grays or anything, huh? And my beard, I do. That's amazing. I just don't think it's worth it. Yeah, Woodsy, you don't have anything to worry about. So gorgeous. You don't have a thing to worry about. Apparently, though, ovation works. Yeah? Yeah, I've heard that. I would do it, man. I'm telling you. Like, I get a PHC, you know, every three weeks. Perfect haircut. Perfect haircut. No one knows what that means, Woods. My worry is the long-term effects of taking a drug that they're saying is good for you now. And then, you know, 10 years down the way, they're like, oh, we forgot to tell you. That killed you. So your hair looks great. But now you're... You know that arm you have going out of your back? Anybody else have that happen? 5701949 where your doctor just gives you something that you're like, hey, I'm not asking. Did I tell you guys? Oh, go ahead. I was just going to... Not the doctor, but I've gone to get, like, my eyebrows waxed or something. And she says, you want lip too?

3:12:23I'm like, uh. No, why? What's wrong with my lips? She's like, I fixed lip problems for you. Yeah. I'm like, uh, no, I've never done that. Yeah. You're like, what's wrong with them? Did I ever tell you guys? You know what's wrong with them. I fixed them for you. Did I tell you guys about when I went to that urgent care clinic to stop smoking? And I wanted to get. Urgent care to stop smoking. Well, because I needed a prescription. I needed a prescription for, I think it was called. I can't remember what it was called, but it was the stop smoking pill. Zyban is what it was called. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go in, and they're like, oh, come on in. We'll see you, and we'll write you a prescription. So I go visit the guy. Ten minutes later, I'm nude, and he's got his hand down my boxer shorts, and he's, like, checking my boys. And I'm like, dude, I just wanted to quit smoking. I thought that was standard procedure, though. I'm like, dude, get your hand off my piece. I just want to quit smoking. I didn't come in for a physical. This is Woods and the doctor. Yeah, it was like dancing. He walks in and he's like, I was like, how you doing? And he's like, you happen to need you to disrobe? I'm like, for what? I just want to not smoke anymore. I thought that happens to every guy when they go to the doctor. No, I walked out of there. Woods finally asked him and the guy finally goes, I'm just into dudes. I just like men. Like guys.

3:13:40Weird. It was the weird. I thought you did that and you had to cough and look one way. For a physical. That's a physical and they're checking you for a hernia. That is not normal. Yo, it wasn't normal. It's like going in to have a mole looked at and the guy's got his hand on your piece. I think he was just trying to give you more bang for your buck. Literally. No. Hello. Hello. Wow. 5701949. I can't believe you took it off. I was scared to death. Well, he was probably like, hey, the guy's a doctor. You know, the guy's a doctor. He knows what he's doing. He was French kissing me, so I thought that was weird. French and real good. Your doctor doesn't do that? I'm on Bruce from Carlsbad. Are you there, Bruce? Yeah, hey. What did your doctor do? This was back, this was like, this was like probably five or six years ago. I was about like 16. I was probably about 30 pounds heavier than I am now because I got in real good shape. Yeah. I wasn't in that great shape. My doctor kind of starts talking to me about how I need to lose weight so that I don't get made fun of for my man boobies. Oh. That's, yeah, that's crushing. Because that can be a real self-esteem issue for boys my age. Did he actually say man boobs? No, but he definitely took his pen, pointed it, and drew air circles on him. Oh, no. Drawing circles on him.

3:15:02Well, air circles. Oh, air circles. I was picturing John Madden being like, here's the defense here. See, the running back hit this hole here. He came right up to your breast area. I need you to stand against the wall. He takes a laser pointer. He's like, you see this right here? This is a man boob, okay? You see this right here? He's like drawing your face. He's like, that's with a laser pointer. This is you. This is your man boob. Look at the fun bags on that hole's helmet. That's brutal. So did you lose the weight because of that, Bruce, or just in general you decided it was time? No, no, no. He was telling me that, you know, like I said, I was like 30 or 35 pounds heavier than I am now. A good 30 or 35 pounds because I've replaced a lot of it with so much more muscle than I used to have and everything. Nothing worse than going to the doctor and the doctor going, you need to lose some weight. Come on, man. It's the worst. Woodsy's never dealt with it. I deal with it almost every time I go to it. Dude, I'm like technically obese, I think, for myself. I'm like 30 pounds overweight. You are not obese. Well, the weight and height thing is so crazy. Like, I'm supposed to weigh 12 pounds, you know? I'm supposed to weigh as much as a bag of puppies. Yeah. Good thing you guys aren't pregnant because pregnant and the doctor. I call that bull talk for a one-eyed fat man. All right.

3:16:25The worst. Why? When you're pregnant, they give you a different thing? No, you have to get on the scale every single time, and every single time you go, you've gained a significant amount of weight. Isn't it okay, though, because you're pregnant? You're a baby. You're supposed to. I know, but it doesn't make it fun. Yeah. It makes it awful. I close my eyes. Yeah, you got babies growing. I close my eyes, and honestly, I don't know how much weight I've gained. I just said, tell me if I'm in the healthy range. M1 ATM from Oceanside has a good story about an angry doctor, right? Yeah, what's up, Mikey? Not too much. Great show, you guys. Thank you, man. Real quick, I had appendicitis, and it was classic appendicitis. Went in, got diagnosed, got sent home, went back a couple days later, and had a real bad appendicitis, acute pain, blah, blah, blah. And went to go see a doctor. 14 hours later, they said, oh, we need to box you over to your HMO. So I went over after all my diagnostics, got to my HMO. And he says, you know, Mark, this doesn't look like appendicitis. And I'm like, Doc, I'll tell you what. I'm into solving problems. At that point, his mouth drops. He's got the attitude going. And he says, okay, you'll get your second opinion. But he's in surgery right now. In the meantime, we're going to do a rectal on you. Oh, my. Okay. So I fetaled up, and he commenced. And then the other doctor came out an hour and a half later.

3:17:52And I was shot because no flu is no nothing for over 24 hours by the time I got to on the table. And are you convinced it's because you ticked him off? A spiteful rectal? No, I don't know. A spiteful rectal? There's nothing worse than the spiteful rectal. I've heard you say that a million times a day. That's hard to say. A million times a day. That's the thing. I mean, these guys are like everybody else in a way. I mean, yeah, they're high level thinkers, blah, blah, blah. But the thing is. They're human beings, and when they're running clinics, I think, you know, they get burned out. And you don't want to see, Mike, and you can go with me on this, you know, a short little Mexican saying, no, I think we're going to problem solving. You know what, though, M1ATM? You know what, though? Don't say it, Mike. You know who doesn't get the spifle rectal? The spifle rectal? You know who doesn't get the burger spitting? You know who doesn't get the burger spitting? The guy that doesn't complain. Hey, listen. You know me. I go in the doctor's office. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, sir. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Whatever it is. Hey, listen. But if he's got still. It feels like needles are going into his appendix and he's sitting there in obvious pain. You got to say something. I'd be mad, too. You got to say something. I don't blame you. I'll just give you a hard time. At that point, it was like, yeah. And then, you know, afterward, the doctor, the one that copped the attitude.

3:19:17He came back and he apologized then. He was straight up. Oh, my gosh. That means he's basically admitting. He's wrong. Hey, listen, I just want to apologize. I gave you a rectal exam. You didn't need one at all. I just wanted to. I just wanted to because you're a jerk. I apologize for the rectal exam. Oh, that's so awkward. Won't happen again. So. Promise. Put her there, pal. You are ship-shaped. Won't happen again. Won't happen again. We're all good. Nothing between a couple of friends, right? No harm, no foul, right? Yeah, bro. No hard feelings. You go your way, I go mine. Let's hug it out. Let's part friends. My casa is your casa. Su casa. Su casa. Never mind. Mi casa is su casa. Your rectal exam is my rectal exam. It's not. It's not going to hurt me. Worse, it's going to hurt you. Yeah, yeah. You can lead a horse to water. Oh, my God. A bird in the hand, man. As a crow flies, huh, bro? All right? You know what I mean? Rumor has it. Hey. Rolling stone. Rolling stone, huh? There's no moss. Rolling stones. That's brilliant. Two peas in a pod. That's right. 570-1949. I've never had a prostate exam. Thank God. I never have either. Do not go in there. And I don't want one. Never will.

3:20:34I don't want one. Oh, you too. Yes. Don't you need to get one? We have to, dude. We got to do it. Can we go together? No. No. It's bad enough that you guys talk in the bathroom. Just Mikey and I going, this really sucks, doesn't it? Ew. Here's the nurse. Mr. Esparza and Mr. Woods. No, it would be Mr. and Mrs. Esparza. Or Mr. and Mrs. Woods. Okay. Yes. All right already. I don't want to go with myself. When do you have to do that? Well, Mikey's five years ahead of you, so... Hey, can I just tell you this? What? I have to get a CT scan, a CAT scan, and they got to inject you with dye? I'm totally not kidding you when I tell you this. I really honestly... Oh, man. See... Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You want Woods to go with you? No, no, no. Genuinely, I don't like shots. And I don't like IVs to the point where I really want to hold someone's hand. Dude. Write that down. What? Mikey. No, no, no. I don't blame you. I want my wife and I want her to hold my hand. Can I make an admission right now? Yeah. I went in to get my LASIK Friday. I don't like doctors. I don't like going into doctor's offices. But I went in to get my LASIK and they brought me in. They laid me on this table. And they filmed the whole thing on a flip.

3:21:59So I'll be able to post on Facebook and MikeyShow.com. We're not going to show the surgery part, but the pre and the post. I watch that. Oh, yeah. So they bring me in, and I lay on my back, and they give me a mini mouse doll. What's a mini mouse doll? A stuffed animal of mini mouse. Did you ask for it? No. I lay down, and they put it in my hand. He brought it from home. No, they put it in my hand. And I go, I don't want this. I threw it on the ground. They go, oh, no, you're going to want this. I almost ripped the head off that thing. I laid there and got my surgery, squeezing this Minnie Mouse doll the entire time. Why? Just anxiety? Just anxiety. It didn't hurt. Is there a more girly little kid toy you could give? Like, what about the Incredible Hulk stuff? Give me Hulk hands to play with. No, I held this Minnie Mouse. I almost ripped her head off. You'd take Barbie. Because I'm nervous. I don't like surgery. It was painless. A little bit of pressure, and that's it. But I laid there, and I... That's Minnie Mouse and all the whole time. Dude. I don't blame you. For whatever reason. Men are Sally's. Men are Sally's. Yes, you are. And when I got, listen, I had a, I broke out into hives one time, bad reaction to medication. And when I say one time, I mean it was like last year. And I had to go to the urgent care and get a shot in my butt. I had to hold. I had to hold Rebecca's. Now, I wouldn't do that. I'm telling you, man. You'd squeeze her hand. Dude, listen.

3:23:26If it were stitch, if it were, no, because that involves, there's something about the whole. I like it. And I can get tattoos. Like tattoos. Yeah, that's weird. Tattoos don't bother me. That does not make sense. It doesn't, it doesn't bother me. A tattoo of certain types of tattoos may bother me, but the other types of tattoos do not. But I get a needle, I need, I need a hand. They're scary. Noodles are scary. They are. I'm like a little kid when I get those. Especially if you see it first. Yeah. Oh, it's awful. Don't look at it. And the worst words that I can hear in the world are, you're going to feel a little sting. You're going to feel a little pinch. There's never a little. You're going to feel a little pressure. You're going to feel some pressure here. Yeah, I know. Just go. Get it over with. Just do it. Don't tell me. See, I've had to get those shots in my spine, but they put you out. Isn't that an epidural? Yeah, I got an epidural and a couple other things. Like crazy? Afterwards. No, after my back pain. Did it hurt? Well, it hurt afterwards. But they ask you things. They're like, so tell me what you did yesterday. And they trick you. And then all of a sudden, anesthesia has you out. Then they pull the weird bit where they're like, tell me about the first person you ever made out with. You're like, what? Why? It's a nice broadie wear. Yeah, they're like, what's your broadie wear? You're just answering stuff. They're like.

3:24:49Can you tell me the pain level between one and ten? You're like, three. They're like, okay, what size bra do you wear? If I were to be a porn star, what would you call me? That's so weird. Jamie's on the phone. Jamie's on the phone? Oh, boy. Woods' wife is on the phone? Is she going to? She might be calling me out for something. Let's see. Everybody wants to roast a kid. Hi, Jamie. Hi, guys. Hi. I wasn't calling to call you out, dear. I just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. Thanks, baby. That's sweet. Love you. I love you, and I'm so proud of you. Thank you. That's so sweet. You can make the kid cry twice in one day. I know it. Love you, baby. That's sweet, Jamie. Love you. Thank you. All right. That's Southern accent. That's Southern accent. It's so sweet. Did you see what Mikey just did? He did my bit. He did my bit. He did your bit. Love you, baby. I just ignored it. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Summer has finally arrived in San Diego. Get your head in the game and grab your tickets for the party at the beach. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Sion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave.

3:26:23The Casbah Local 94.9 stage, The Silent Comedy, Nervous Records, The Burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets today for $30 at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. No service charges. And a buck of the $30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. August 29th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. FM 94.9 welcomes San Diego's Pinback for the opening concert of the 2010 Del Mar Concert Series. Pinback, live, Friday, July 23rd, 4 p.m. at the Del Mar Racetrack. 4 o'clock Friday concerts are held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. All shows free with track admission. For more information, delmarscene.com. Enjoy exciting racing action and stay for the free concert at the Del Mar Racetrack.

3:28:12Wednesday, July 21st, the biggest party of the year returns. It's opening day at Del Mar. Join us as we celebrate San Diego's official kickoff to summer and all of the magnificent world-class horse racing action. Dress to impress with your coolest hat and be sure to enter it in our legendary hats contest. Don't miss opening day this Wednesday. Del Mar, cool as ever. The kitchen. The kitchen is where food is kept and where food is cooked. So the kitchen is often where you find the people. The kitchen is where you want to be when dinner is being served, but it's where you don't want to be when the dishes are being washed. The kitchen is the only room in the house where open flames and sharp knives are both perfectly acceptable. If you're playing basketball and block someone's shot, you are entitled to shout, get out of my kitchen. And if report cards are getting posted anywhere, they're getting posted in the kitchen. The kitchen is also the place you can watch all your favorite shows. Because with U-verse TV from AT&T, you can record up to four shows at once from any room on a single DVR and play them back on any TV. In any room. Like the bedroom, the family room, the den, the rumpus room, and of course...

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3:31:48No, we can't really afford that. Which part? Actually, we can't afford to leave the hotel room. Don't open the minibar. It pays to check CheapFlights.com. With over 4 million flight deals arriving daily, you can go where you never thought you could and have money left over to actually enjoy it. Check first and never miss the chance to get a better deal. Hey, it's called CheapFlights.com for a reason. Truly Nolan's Total Termite Protection Plan is so technically advanced, it covers all species of termites under one agreement. And is backed by a $1 million warranty. Call 1-800-GO-TRULY. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. I'm so scared of authority, so I start crying. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. Sienna. I'm a big girl now. Got married, having a baby. Now I can rent a car. And Jay. Yeah, like long, soft kisses. Whatever. On FM 94.9. Thought of something listening to this. It's a jam. Like one of my favorites. Have you ever been with a band while they record an album? I have seen recordings done. Yes, but not like a big band that anybody would care about. Lars from Metallica let me go to Nashville to watch Systematic, his band that he signed Friends of Mine when they recorded their album. Killer. Cool. Well, dude, when they were.

3:33:44When they were on stage, it was amazing, man, to watch them. They were a great live band. What was really a trip was I got to see these demos and this systematic, incredible band, right? Right. Very hard. Yeah. The style of the music was very hard. So this was a real big thing for me to be able to go see them record live. So I was watching them record this song right here. Play a second of it. Here we go. Mean. That's mean. So what I didn't know was is that when they're in the studio and they record it, they sit on stools. Yeah, dude. All kicked back and they go. Like they're doing that really just sitting there. No expression. All calm. Just calm. And I thought they would record and they just be like jamming in the studio. They don't. That's work. They would sit there. Sometimes Adam was the guitar player.

3:35:06He'd sit there with his legs crossed with the guitar, and he'd be jamming that out. And he's sitting on a guitar as calm as ever. When I practice, when I'm playing a lot of my, because I got my electric guitar, I've been playing a lot. You heard me hit a little Deftones the other day. Right. Sitting in my chair, legs crossed at my computer. Very calmly. Just like that, calmly, jamming Deftones as loud as the amp will go. I had, it was sort of, you know, burst my little bubble. bands will do. I don't know what the type of studio is called where there's no kind of reverb and they all have their own mics on them. And they'll play at the same time and they'll jam. That's cool. That is cool. By the way, tomorrow morning, 7 a.m., Woodsy and Jay will be doing hallway baseball. Squaring off. Again. Maybe I win a bet for once. That'd be awesome. Now, here's what Woodsy says. Woodsy says, Jay.

3:36:05You can't hit me. No, he's not hitting me. He's not going to foul one off. You do not think that he will be able to hit one ball you throw his way? No, he's not going to foul one off. You play ball like a girl! But if he does, it's not going to count as a foul because it's in a hallway. Yeah, it'll go behind him if he fouls it off. I'm a little worried, though. I just thought of this. Are we going to jack your shoulder up? No, it'll be fine. It's a wiffle ball. Yeah, it's a wiffle ball. I play every weekend. How fast are you going to throw a wiffle ball? Pretty fast. I know, but isn't your, I mean, don't you have a torn? Yeah, it hurts like hell every time I do anything, but I'll be all right. I'll play every weekend. You sure? Sidearm it. No, sidearm hurts worse. Overhand is easy. That's why I can still paddle on the surfboard. Overhand is easy. Anytime, anything out here is when it kills me. Maybe you do it like Jenny Finch. Maybe I do underhand. Softball. We're going to go to the batting cages today after work, so we'll get real batting cages. We're going to get warmed up. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. Never done that in my life. Have you not? You're doing it today. I'm sure I'll look like a big fat oaf out there. You're doing it today. Real fun. By the way, Independence Jam, tickets still available for you if you want to go. $30, man. $30 covers all the fees. It's August 29th. It's on a Sunday. And Edward Sharp, the Magnetic Zeros are playing. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be a good show. The wigs. Delta Spirit, the wigs. It's going to be great. Kill me, Caroline. That's right. Sabrina's in here looking all irritated. She's pissed every day. She's pissed every day.

3:37:35You know, our building is called Boo's Allen Hamilton, the building that we're in in downtown the metropolitan area of Mission Valley. It's so ridiculous. Downtown Mission Valley. It's not metropolitan. It's not. It isn't. It's sort of a suburban area, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, you have to get it. Oh, my gosh. She's got gum in her mouth. Oh, that's going to drive. I can't listen. Is that irritating? Take it out. Take it out. I can't listen to that. Should I take it out? I'm not kidding. She goes to UCLA. Oh, wow. Oh, thank you. She goes to UCLA. She's enrolled at UCLA. She doesn't go much. Well, I don't go now because it's the stupid summer. Right. So why would you go in the summertime? Yeah. Figure it out. Summer school. Figure it out. I went to summer school. Well, how is it over there in Perfectville? It's great. Woodsy. Feeling good. Yeah. So what did you do this weekend, Tan? Yeah, this weekend I laid out a little bit and got a little curly. What do you drink when you're laying out? Kahlua. What do you drink? You drink Kahlua. Yeah. That's a perfect poolside drink. Oh, my God. Just on the rocks? Holy cow. OMG, Mike. What do you drink? Fruity iced tea or something?

3:38:47Some sort of passion for tea. Oh my gosh. If I'd have made a list of a billion things I thought you drank poolside, Kahlua would have been the last one. It's delicious. Like with milk? Yeah, it's like a white Russian or something. Black Russian? I don't know. Some sort of Russian. Yeah, some kind of Russian. Some sort of Russian. Not that Mel Gibson chick Russian. No, not like that. Not like Gorieva. What's her name? Oxana Gorieva. Do you ever, or just to be like sassy, do you go, I'll take an Oxana Gorieva? No, it's totally a good one. I'm so using that. OMG. Oh, my gosh. BTW, I shouldn't even be here because Sienna totally did my job earlier. What do you mean? She said the weather. Oh, Sienna. Yeah, but I did that earlier. That's so long ago. It's fine. Yeah, I called my dad like seven times, and I was like, FYI, Sienna did it, so I don't have to come in. And he was like, OMG, you're totally going to work. And I was like, OMG, you're such an idiot. You called her dad an idiot? Yeah, I've called him a lot worse than that. You know she belongs to the Ritz family. Oh, yeah, from Ritz Carlton. Yeah. She's got a little coin. Yeah, a lot of coin. Oh, my gosh. And I totally don't need to be working, but whatever. It's good for you, man. Put a little, you know, teaches you the way the real world works. I guess, but none of my BFFs have to work. So it's just, I don't know. I think it's going to be crazy. What's the weather going to be like today? Weather is going to be nice today. And then later in the week, the sun's going to come out.

3:40:14Kind of like how my little brother came out when he was drunk. To me. Wow. Probably wasn't supposed to say that on the air. Yeah, you probably. Yeah, you probably. Sorry. You just outed your brother on the air. He's the one outed himself. He shouldn't have been drinking. To you, his sister. Yeah, to you. I know, but he was drinking my Kahlua and he's like 12. That's what you get. Don't touch my Kahlua. How old is he actually? I think he's 13. I don't know. You're not even sure. He's in high school. What's that? I don't know. 14 to 18. I stepped counting when he was like over two. I was like, you're so not cute anymore. Wow. It's our 22-year-old weather girl. Her name is a 21-year-old weather girl. Her name is Sabrina. And the only reason she has the jaw is because her dad aired to the Ritz fortune. My dad's a big, stupid, jerk, idiot. Yeah? He's making me do this. And he's making her do this. Big, stupid, jerk, idiot. Because he's friends with big, fat, stupid, like, booze. Oh, well. I love you, Mr. Booze.

3:41:26Sorry, that was inappropriate. You're doing a fantastic job. Yeah, you're really knocking it out of the park. So do you want to be in radio, like, for a living? No, I want to be on, like, I don't know, my own reality show or something. Yeah, doesn't everybody that's 21 years old that drinks Kahlua poolside. You could be on the Jersey Shore. Yeah. I am so friends with the Kardashians and the Heldons. Yeah. Well, she probably is, right? I mean, with all that dough. I am, and it's just a matter of time. I keep telling my dad that. My dad totally has a pole, and he's like, no, Sabrina, you're going to do a job like everybody else. You know what's interesting is how she constantly is pushing her hair away with just one finger and fingernail out of the way, and you're not fixing it, because each time you do it, it's exactly the same as the last time that you fixed it. Do you want to know why I do that? Why? I have a phobia. What is it? Well, I get my nails done all the time, and I'm always afraid, like, when I get my nails done, then my nails are still wet. I'm going to mess them up if I, you know, if I put too much pressure, too much stuff on them. Yeah, doesn't everybody have that fear? Yeah. I think every grown man 40 years old has gone through that fear at one time or another. I'm serious. If you start getting a lot of mani-pedis, you will do it, too. I will. The same way with my shoes. My toes are always, like, curled up, and I'm, like, walking on my toes, and I'm like...

3:42:42Tell my friend. Thank you. What is going on? Sabrina. Those are tough problems, man. Cadillac problems, I like to call those. Yep, they are. Thanks, Sabrina. I'm done. Thank you. We appreciate her. See you later. Her name is Sabrina. Bye. Tell you what, though. Smells good. Smells amazing. Maybe then she comes in. See ya. What do you want to be at? All right. Appreciate you. Going back to the pool. I'm so glad she got rid of that gum. Number one pet peeve in my life. Smacking gum. I was like, oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh. Like, that would make me fix that one. So unprofessional. Let's see. Do I have time? You know what I want to do? I'm going to run through a few stories for you. Because there's some stuff out there. Def Leppard's guitar player. His name is Phil Collin. That's a true story. Yeah. Not in Genesis. Phil Collin. Mm-hmm. He got his second divorce. Yep. And then nine days later got married to someone else. Yeah. Nine days. Wow. Way to read that one out. I know it. What's the deal? He fell in love. Basically, you just told it. He fell in love. He fell in love, got a divorce, married this other chick who's 10 years younger in Florida nine days later. Why don't you stop judging my life, Mike?

3:44:04I'm not judging it. I'm just saying I think that's kind of quick to get married. I wonder if you knew this young lady before your marriage ended. Did you fill? Yes, I did. That's such a funny joke, isn't it? Yeah. It's none of your freaking beeswax, what I do anyway. That's true. Nobody's really cared about Def Leppard in 15 years. There's a lot of people that care about Def Leppard. Yeah, they're 50 now. No, Def Heads. All the Def Heads care quite a bit. Doesn't it sound a bit... A little bit. Doesn't it sound like James Gumm would have listened to this? A little bit. While James Gumm was hanging down in it. Love my wife. Fantastic. 5701-949 is our phone number. You're about a pretty big female, so don't worry.

3:45:04You guys heard about the female celebrity that just got caught with weed in her purse? She bought a size 14. Yeah. Imagine if you had a show at 9.9. Hey, have you heard about the female celebrity that just got caught with weed in her purse? Well, it's coming right up here on the Jim Gum Show. I would listen. Always. Do you think that Garrett... Our program director would let Jame Gum do a weekend show? I would love it. Welcome to the Jame Gum 80s Hour. I'm Jame Gum. Oh, my God. That was a psychedelic food. I smell a coup d'etat. I love my life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Look, cars aren't the only thing on the road. That's why GEICO saves people money on motorcycles too. Of course, as any motorcyclist knows, there's all kinds of bikes. Sport bikes, cruisers, custom ride, no problem. GEICO even insures scooters. I mean, you'd be hard-pressed to find a motorcycle we don't insure. Well, unless it ran on rocket fuel and could travel back in time. Yeah, and I'll just have to double-check. Now GEICO offers insurance on all the stuff that moves you, including motorcycles. Call 1-800-442-9253 or visit GEICO.com.

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3:51:42I was about to give some information about a celebrity that was caught with weed numbers. But they have some breaking news about it, and my news girl, Sienna, is here. Wow. It's like James Gump Swallowed, Tom Brokaw. I know. Yeah, it does. There were stories out everywhere that Paris Hilton, I always want to say Perez Hilton now. Oh, what's wrong with me? She was briefly held by police on a French island. She landed on a private plane and I guess her bag was searched and there was weed in her purse. That's hot. But now she's coming out and she just tweeted saying, just to put an end to these rumors, these stories saying I have been arrested are completely false. I'm having the best vacation of my life. That's sexy. It's just ridiculous. This is the second time this month that stories of her having weed possession have come out and then she tweets the same thing. News weed. I know. Break. You don't think that's news because it's weed? You can't bring weed on a plane. Snakes on a plane. That you can do. You put snakes on a plane, but you can't put weed on it. Who cares? It's totally different. Give me something good. Dude, it's still illegal, man. Big deal. Come on. It's weed.

3:52:59What would you do if you came home today and seen your beans and had big old bags of weed all over the place? That'd be great. Jackpot, happy birthday to me. You don't smoke weed. It doesn't mean. No. He doesn't. Best and worst ice cream for you. Or is this just the ice cream treats? These are like ice cream bars, and they have different categories of ice cream bar, like worst popsicle. Do ice cream trucks creep you out? No. Yeah, that noise. They can make my mouth water. The song? Yeah, the song. There was one that drove by my house the other day, and there was a guy driving, and his wife and child were just sitting on top of the cooler in the back, and the door was open. They were just like, no seatbelt, no seats. Just chilling. Family booze. Kid riding on the roof. Ice cream truck surfing. Nothing makes me happier than the ice cream truck. Once the truck is there and I can see it, but when I hear it coming down the street and it always sounds like the motor on the music box is dying. Yeah, you're like, can you fix that, man? How come every single ice cream truck has a broken... You know why? Why? Because nobody makes new ice cream trucks anymore. They use the old ones. That's right. Not coming out with the new and improved. They should just get the digital ones. The Porsche Cayenne. Wireless. You know. What's a... Wireless. Ice cream. Yeah, that's right. It's made completely of aluminum.

3:54:28What's a nutty bar running these days? I love nutty bars. It's still cheap. I went and got what I like is the Pink Panther. You know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking about. Creep. It's shaped like... Creep. Why? You're the one that gets a Pink Panther. They used to have a Slimer for the Ghostbusters. It's shaped like a Pink Panther. You're that guy? And it's got two gumballs for eyes. Oh, yeah. It's delicious. Refreshing. It's refreshing. Nutty Buddy was $1.25. I just had an ice cream truck over the weekend. Really? I like the firecracker, the red, white, and blue. Yeah, red, white, and blue. Those take too long, and they drip too much all over me. Or the drumstick. Yeah, easy there. Yeah, I'll be making short work of that. Well, Lauren, of course, chooses the best popsicle to eat, the firecracker popsicle. They say the worst one to have is the SpongeBob SquarePants bar. Of course it is. I think that's in the same one I kind of like. The same vein as the Pink Panther. It's like the ice cream popsicle. Do you guys remember the Slimer? There was a Slimer. Oh, yeah. The Pac-Man. I love the Slimer. Pac-Man with the gumball eye. What was the Slimer? It's like the Pink Panther. Same thing. It just looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters. Did it really Slimer? It was green. It was just colored green. It's like a creamy popsicle. Yeah. They were good. The worst packaged ice cream cone. Drumstick? Snickers bar. The best.

3:55:51Yeah, you know why the drumstick was the worst of them all? Because when you open the package and you took one bite out of it, all the peanuts, every single peanut on there fell off into the bag. So true. We have those that right now, Jenna loves those drumsticks. She makes a mess. How good are they though, man? They're so good. When you get down to the very bottom of the cone and it's got chocolate all on the bottom. Chocolate inside. I don't eat that. Why? I don't eat the bottom. I give it to the J-Bone because I don't like all that thick. Oh, that's my favorite part. I hate that part. It's great. Choco Taco is delicious, by the way. Choco Taco, all the way through. Amazing. Choco Taco is great. All the way through. Spoken like a bunch of fatties. Well, the worst package ice cream cone is the Nestle Triple Chocolate Extreme Cone. Anything with triple chocolate in it, you probably want to stay away. And they say, instead, eat the Nestle Little Drum Cone Vanilla with chocolatey swirls. The worst frozen candy bars. You mix in a salad every time. I know. I'm not a big fan of Nestle. I bet. Crunch bars. Oh, I am. I bet that at Hillary and L.O.B.'s freezers right now, you're not going to find a lot of drumsticks. Snickers ice cream bars. Snickers ice cream bars. I have like 82% dark chocolate in my freezer. Oh, my. Weird. Bitter. She's got an actual cocoa bean in her freezer. That's what you.

3:57:18Oh, look at that. Look what she's got. Look at her. Of course. Of course she does. Of course Hillary has that. She just pulled out a massive dark chocolate bar. 72% Coca-Cola. What does that even mean? I don't get anything less than 72%. I have a bite. I've never had it. It's going to taste like unsweetened. You're going to need to break off a few pieces. I hate milk chocolate. I don't really like milk chocolate either. Do you hear the foil? Oh, it sounds so delicious. This is like Willy Wonka. Yes. Thank you. Does it have sugar in it? This is the first time ever. 72%. I guarantee he doesn't like it. How do you say it? Go, go. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Hillary. In the woods face. It's not chocolate. It's not chocolate. Oh, that tastes so healthy. It tastes delicious. I feel like you wasted this on me because it's so healthy. That's not chocolate. I think it's delicious. Yes, it is. It's lift your face.

3:58:17I could eat coffee out of a can. I like it. Yeah, Sienna. It doesn't have all the sweetness. I like anything with chocolate, though. You know what that would be good over? What? Coconut. It tastes like mounds, but I like the coconut flavor in mounds, you know? Love mounds. Can you feel the flavonoids? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. My flavonoids are freaking out. They're really firing right now. Just one time, Woods went to the doctor. Two minutes later, the doctor had his hand all over his flavonoids. You need to swallow your teeth. Smile. Smile in my mouth. Smile. I know. It's all in my teeth. No, it's not in your teeth. You're just like, you're drowning in it. I know. Anyway, ice cream's delicious. There you go. Get up the ice cream truck if you hear it. Come by. I love you. She's trying to black dude. It's her first time. That's awesome. Hillary's in. So, Hillary, what do you got? What do you got coming up today? How was your weekend?

3:59:19It was good. You know? Yeah, I went to the Padres game yesterday. Did you? Did you see the fight? That was a brawl. You were there for that? Yeah. Sweet. Kind of exciting. Nothing better than a baseball fight. I've never seen one. And they kept showing the replay of, like, the guys, you know, the Padres sliding it. Did he kick in? Did he not? And the crowd was going nuts. That's so rad. It was really fun. Hard to explain to a three-year-old, but it was fun. I know. They were like, Mom, we were with a three-year-old and a seven-year-old. The seven-year-old kind of got it because his dad was, like, explaining it to him. daughter was like, what are they doing? Oh my gosh. I would have to be like, son, I don't want you to do that. I want you to fight. You got to teach him. He makes a million dollars a year, daddy. He's my hero. It was kind of exciting though. I grabbed some Muse and the Soft Pack and the new Hold Steady and Suicidal Tendencies. Sweet. Very nice. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number. And the lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Come back here tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. We'll do it all over again. Now, check this out. Tomorrow morning, 7 a.m., Woodsy and Jay doing a little hallway baseball. I'm careful of how much I say that because I don't want it getting shut down. And in all likelihood, it could. Yeah. But we'll see. Come back tomorrow morning and do it all over again. Mikey shows out late.

4:02:49About the music all day.