The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/21/11
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Comic ConWipeout viewing partyTiger Woods caddy firingParis Hilton interviewOvation Cell Therapy hair productDad birthday callFoot fetish explanationTomTom music gameBreast obsession studyElevator etiquettecarriagecomic con tickets
The show opened with Mikey announcing the word of the day carriage and a Comic-Con ticket giveaway for caller 9. Later, LOB and Jay recounted their disastrous attempt to get to Comic-Con via shuttle, describing massive crowds and confusion. The hosts discussed Tiger Woods firing his longtime caddy Steve Williams, debating the timing and loyalty. Lauren O'Brien promoted her Ovation Cell Therapy hair regimen, while Mikey called his 75‑year‑old dad to wish him a happy birthday. The show featured a playful "I'm glad you ask" segment where Jay explained foot fetishes to the childlike hosts, a TomTom music‑guessing game with Beatles and Prince clues, a discussion of a Today Show study on why men are fixated on women's breasts, and a lively debate over elevator etiquette—whether ladies should exit first or whoever is nearest the door.
What happened, in order
Word of the day carriage & Comic-Con ticket giveaway
Mikey announces the word of the day is carriage and says caller 9 will win sold‑out Comic‑Con tickets if they say it before 10.
Comic‑Con crowds and shuttle line mishap
LOB and Jay describe how they planned to take the shuttle to Comic‑Con but found the line had quadrupled, leaving them stuck in a massive, unruly crowd.
Tiger Woods fires caddy Steve Williams
The hosts discuss Tiger Woods’ decision to fire his longtime caddy Steve Williams, debating the timing, loyalty, and Woods’ recent struggles.
Paris Hilton walks out of interview
Mikey plays audio of Paris Hilton ending a live interview after being asked if she feels overshadowed by followers like Kim Kardashian.
Lauren O’Brien promotes Ovation Cell Therapy
LOB shares her positive results with Ovation Cell Therapy hair products, describing a three‑step routine and a risk‑free money‑back offer.
Mikey’s dad birthday call
Mikey calls his 75‑year‑old father to wish him a happy birthday, chatting about his dad’s health, retirement shows, and family plans.
‘I’m glad you ask’ foot fetish explanation
Jay explains to the childlike hosts what a foot fetish is, clarifying it’s about liking to look at or touch feet, not eating them.
TomTom girl music guessing game
The TomTom girl plays song clips; listeners guess the artist or title, correctly identifying Beatles, Purple Rain, and Prince.
Breast Obsessed in America study discussion
The hosts talk about a Today Show segment exploring why men are fixated on women’s breasts, citing evolutionary and visual cues.
Elevator etiquette debate
Mikey, Woods, and LOB argue whether ladies should exit elevators first or whoever is nearest the door should go first.
People mentioned
mikeylauren obrienwoodsjayjill wagnersteve williamstiger woodsparis hiltonsienna
37,673 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
You are free to call in. 570-1949 is our number. You can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Plenty to talk about. Plenty going on. The only thing I will need from you, L-O-B, is word of the day. Do you want to say it? Yeah, I need to... Okay, carriage. Carriage. Word of the day is carriage and... When I say the word carriage between now and 10, caller 9 will get Comic-Con tickets. Sold out, and it's going on now through the 24th. And so it's kind of a big deal that you get tickets to a sold out event. Today's my dad's birthday. And yeah, I'll call him in a little bit. I don't know how old he is. I think he's 75. Me good. Me good. Oh my gosh, that's my dad's voice when I do that. Most people can probably do a pretty good imitation of their parents because we sound like them. 5701949 is the number if you want to call us. Let's see. Wipeout Viewing Party. It's going to be at Dave and Buster's July 28th, which is Thursday from 7 to 9 p.m. We're doing a Wipeout Viewing Party because Jay and Woods.
are on the show Wipeout. Shock jocks, real good. Yeah, the promo that they're running on television refers to them as shock jocks. No way. It's a true story. Now, why they refer to them as shock jocks, I do not know because they're not shock jocks. Jay is. Kind of, but... You know, that's what they say, man. They need to call you guys shock jocks. Probably had to bleep out some of the stuff you were saying. There was a little bag tag going on, too. Yes, there was some bag tag. Maybe that's what made him think it. Yep. That you guys were shock jocks. We have a timer going on right now at MikeyShow.com that says seven days, 13 hours, 55 minutes. A week from today. And I'm even staying up late. I go to bed at 6 o'clock at night. I go to bed at 6 o'clock at night. That thing doesn't even get out until 9. We're starting the viewing party an hour after you're usually in bed. Yes. It scares me. It's going to be a wild night. For me, it's going to be like an all-nighter. Swiling out. Yes. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm 41 years old. Woodsy's our sports guy. He's 36 now. Had his birthday yesterday. Two days ago.
Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's also a comedian. Woman of many voices. 30 years old. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Our producer is Jay. He's 48. And there he is. Sanity Glass. And our phone screener is Chris. That's cross. Okay. Let's see. So what's going on? Well, a couple of things. Today's the first day of Comic Con. That's a big deal. And they're expecting 126,000 people to be downtown. Again, I said they're expecting 126,000 people to be downtown. Dressed in all different sorts of uniform. Costume. Oh, no. I just remembered I have to go downtown today. You do? Oh, no. Oh, no. Well, don't worry, Woodsy. There's a lot of things that they're recommending for Comic-Con goers.
Comic-Con goers can take the coaster. Comic-Con goers can take a shuttle. How about that? They're being sponsored by Showtime. And they run from Mission Valley, Shelter Island, Liberty Station, and go to Comic-Con. Or you can take the trolley. And there's free parking for 10,000 cars at the queue. And then they're going to be getting people over there by trolley. Wow. That ain't bad, right? And then there is parking at the convention center. Plenty of parking. I mean, multiple levels of underground parking. And so if you want to pay for it, you know, you could do it that way. And then concerning the racetrack, there's shuttles into the races. They got a Friday shuttle tomorrow because they start a little bit later. The races start a little bit later on Fridays.
Because they want to give people that are getting off work a chance to get there. So they're doing the shuttle service. They're also doing, you can do Amtrak to the races. Because it'll stop right there in Solana Beach. You can do the bus. The bus is real easy to get in and out. So there are options. LOB and Jay went to opening day. LOB, how long did it take you to get in? It took me a long time. I would say start to finish, maybe about two hours. Just to get in the door. Wow. Yeah, it takes a while. We took the shuttle, but the thing is everybody had the same idea as us. Yeah. We got there right at like the bewitching hour. We, you know, ran into some getting ready things and we did not get there early. No, it was late. It's weird. I know. Did you go with your BFMC, your boyfriend? I did, yes. In that commerce? You guys saw each other there? Mm-hmm. You saw Jay? We did. We saw Jay and Adam. Yeah. What time did you get there? Saw some M1s out there. We got in there about 2.30, maybe even close to 3. I parked at Fidel's. Oh. Oh, my. Yeah. It was a hike. It's a two-mile walk. Jay. It was a two-mile walk. Jay. It's not an exaggeration. I went in. Did you walk from Fidel's? Yes.
And Adam was with you? Yes. It was obviously your idea. There was just no parking. I mean, because we drove all the way up. Jay. We drove all the way up. Jay. It was jammed. Jay. There was no... Jay. How much did you pay to park at Fidel's? I didn't pay anything. Exactly. Of course you didn't. Now, Jay refuses to pay for anything. Especially parking. Of course. Now, hang on. I just have questions. I'm not attacking you. Aren't you? Aren't I? You parked at Fidel's, which if you don't know, Fidel's has got to be two miles. Now, obviously, this was what someone had to suggest it. Someone had to suggest the idea. So we were running by. No, no, no, no. Please let me interview you. I want you to be a patient. I'm going to be a doctor, a professional psychologist. I will interview you. Patient, who suggested this idea? You or Adam? I suggested... Of course you did. But can I elaborate? Yes. So we're late. We wanted to be there a little before 2, and I had an appearance from noon to 1 in PB. And I ate lunch afterwards. So we're zooming down the freeway, and the exit to get off at Villa de la Valle is ridiculous. Weird. It was just shut down.
So then we zoomed past and went to Solana Beach and then cut through by that road that goes down by Fidel's. Stevens. Stevens, yeah. And we went all the way down and we're going to go across and it was just, the roads were just stopped. We were on a bus there and people got off the bus and started walking because the cars weren't going anywhere. So all the cars in my lane decided to loop back around and go back. So we did. And we parked at the closest place that was available. And it was Fidel's. Yeah. There's a ton of people walking. There were ladies in Seven Inch Hills that were ridiculous walking from way out there. I was like, you're never going to make it. They're taking little short steps. You couldn't keep me farther from opening day. Now, again, opening day, once you're there, is a spectacular. It's really something to behold. Oh, there's some beauties out there. Oh, the beautiful women, the beautiful men, the... Beautiful horses. Beautiful horses. I mean, beautiful horses. Beautiful Del Mar fairgrounds. I mean, it's intense. The actual racetrack, beautiful. It smells of perfume and fine colognes. Smells of really good grilling food. I mean, everything about it is great. It's just getting in.
It's just getting into that place because you're bringing so much humanity into one area. Something about a lady and a hat, too. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what. Takes you back to a time. I don't get that. I don't either. Takes you back to your days on the Titanic. I guess so. That's exactly right. When they actually wore those hats for real. I mean, that's what they're throwback to. So, Jay brings back a lot of pleasant memories. Rose. Brings back memories of Rose. Miss her. I miss you, too, dear. Thanks for letting me on the door. Rose, you should let your hair down. It's long and gray, though, dear. Is that okay? It's fine. You should go ahead and... Then I've got to take my banana clip out. Is that all right? Here we go. Shake it, Rose. That's a rose I remember. It's all right, though, because it's covering my breasts. You could wipe with that hair. It's so long. Disgusting. Carpet match. Oh, shut up!
Shut up. Please. I beg you. Don't speak. Who is you wild? Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Help me. Matt and I were among the many couples in line that started to fight with each other. Oh, my God. What did you fight about? I don't want to get anything to see it. It takes a lot to push his buttons. It doesn't take much to push mine. It takes a lot to push his. And there was just a mob getting into the doorway. And we already had printed tickets. But the girl was like, it doesn't matter. You just, everybody goes through the same way. So there was people, clown shoes, that kept coming up being like, excuse me, excuse me, I have a ticket. Excuse me. Oh, God. And pushing through. And I was like, so, like, there was fights breaking out. People, this guy goes, you can cut anybody else off if you want. If you cut me, I'm going to cut you. And I was like, oh, boy. So.
Matt just kept like, we were just moving sideways. We weren't moving forward. He would go this side, this side. I said, babe, you know, if we continue to move laterally, we're not going to move forward. You got to pick a lane. Every man likes his woman to explain to him how to, you know. How stuff works. How stuff works. But he has no, like, I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And he didn't have that gene. I agree, minus the part about lines. You know, you can be aggressive, I think, when it comes to, you know, getting something done. I felt like I was going to... Break out in hives. Because I had been surrounded by people for two hours at this point. And no one was moving. Because people just kept cutting. There was like no order. And people that were like, we have a, this is ridiculous. We have a box. We shouldn't have to wait. Excuse me. I can hear it. I would have lost my mind. So it was just unruly like.
Matt was like, you know what makes me realize when you get a group of people like this together? That humanity is just one step away from complete pandemonium. Well, yeah. Chaos. And to further that thought, my philosophy of we're all just little kids. Oh, yeah. So it was a whole lot of entitlement and like, I have more right to be here than you sort of thing. Of course. And anyway, so he was like, oh, so I guess I had reached, I had done enough complaining at that point that he had reached his breaking point. He's so docile. Yeah, he is. He started dropping some F-bombs. At you, at you. No, it was very passive aggressive. He was saying it to the people around us. Let's have some effing good times. Let's just effing do this effing thing. And I was like, why are you using the F word for every other word? Is that really necessary? It was chaos. And he was saying like...
He was like, well, I'm just going to stick with this good man right here. I'm going to stick with this effing good man right here. Because there was a guy with a cigar. And he's like, I'm not going to move. I'm going to stay right here because I need to pick a lane. I need to pick a lane. And then someone came up behind him and said, excuse me, which line are you in? And he goes, oh, it's not up to me. Ask her. Because I need to pick a lane. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. And I was like, yes, you're the victim, Matt. You're the victim. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. But then we let like two minutes go by and we started laughing and decided not to be mad anymore. That sounds just like me and my wife, by the way. I have a question for you in particular, Miss Lauren O'Brien. Yes, because this seems to be your nightmare. Now, you know, I've only known you a year and a half. Yes, but it. seems to be your particular. I mean, it's a nightmare for anybody, but you and I are wired pretty similarly in that way. And that when there's a lot of people around us, you know, I'm very anxious. You know, I get anxious. You do too. Yes. What made you go to opening day at the racetrack? I saw it playing out a lot differently in my head. I knew that we were going to be out of here at 10 o'clock. You know, we got all of our work done on purpose.
And I just saw us getting there, beating the crowds. And Sienna was actually going to meet us there. And she had called me and said, where are you going to park? And I said, we're actually going to take the shuttle. She was like, you are so smart. I'm like, I know. So we thought we had it all figured out. And we actually went to go park right by the shuttle. There was about five people waiting in line. By the time we had just found a place to park by the shuttle, the line had then... Quadrupled. Millionified. Millionified. There was people out of every crevice. I don't know where they were coming from. They just came out of. You're like, where do these people live? I don't know where they came from. So everything went not according to plan. And it was just complete unruliness. Like the buses would come up and instead of people waiting their turn, they just started running towards buses from like not people that weren't waiting in line, people that were in the back of the line. I'm telling you. Wow. Yeah. Now, Comic-Con, same thing. You know, if you're going to Comic-Con, know there's going to be 125,000 people. And so plan accordingly. You know, try to take public transportation if you can or do whatever. But did you actually watch any horsies race? We did, yeah. We went down to the infield and got a pretty good spot to watch some of the races. And I overheard someone say, two chicks just got in a fist fight. Oh, my gosh. Everyone was just so, like, you could...
See that people were frustrated. Once they were there and they had a couple drinks and loosened up, people were in a good mood. But like some of those hot spots, people were just like ready to. Well, see, listen, here's what you have to consider. People that have zero interest in horse racing and really have zero interest in that sort of event are there. And the reason is because it's pretty cool to be there. It's social, socialite type stuff. And you get to dress up. Everybody gets to become a socialite for a day. And it is pretty cool. There's no doubt. It's just that, you know, you get any, if you get a group of 40,000 kids together, you know, just think of 45,000 children together. Because that's what we are. Lest anybody think that we become adults and then we're different. That's why maybe we put a wristband on this is be different because that's what it's about. We're kids, man. We just become kids. We're all kids inside. Oh, yeah. Well, we left.
There were police officers outside, and they were just pulling cars over one after one, and they were doing the drunk test. Oh, wow. So get a driver. Do not mess around. Get a driver. We saw there's a tunnel that goes under the infield, so you can go from the stands to the other side. And we saw, it's a long tunnel. We saw this guy getting arrested, and they were walking so slow. And Matt was like, this is the slowest, most mellow arrest I've ever seen. They had to walk through the entire tunnel and then go to the first exit. My. Yeah. It's going to be a busy weekend for the police department. Probably fewer arrests, though, at Comic-Con. Docile group. Yes. Docile group. Then yesterday, the other big deal was that Apple released their new OS X Lion. And I got it. Woods got it. And I like it. I do, too. It's got 250 new features, but really what it does is turn your home computer into an iPad. It took 250 hours to actually get through to my computer. That is a true fact. I was watching a movie and decided, yeah, I'll do this. Yeah, I didn't get to finish that movie. Yeah. Fell asleep. It's true. It does take a long time to download. So if you're going to get it, just know that. It takes a long time. Pack a lunch.
It will change everything, though? It won't look the same anymore once you do this? No, it looks the same. Just certain things are different. And pretty cool. Certain things are different and cool, yes. My wife, one of the coolest things I thought about it was the way that it organizes your mail. I really like that. Showed it to my wife, and she goes, no, it's different. It's different. That looks different. That looks different. I don't like that. That's different. That's different. I said, calm down. Take it easy. I need you to know that this is, I want you to know, first of all, before we go any further, this is going to be okay. I know that right now you're scared. By the end of this exercise that I'm going to walk you through, I am convinced that you will be able to do this all by yourself. Take it easy. Just relax. Oh, yeah. There you go. Breathe in through the nose. And then out through the mouth. That is good. Now, your email is going to look a little different. That's okay. Take it easy.
Take it easy. Take deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. There is a way to make things go full screen. Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy. And not so loud, Jay. That was very, very loud, Jay. Jay with the sound effect, man. Sound effect, man. Whiplash. A lot of people under five just went pee-pee a little bit. Just a little. Just a little. Went pee-pee. Someone listening right now that was not expecting maybe made a little mess. A little bit. Because so loud. But anyway, so that was a deal. And then the other thing is that, oh yeah, what's the NFL? Yeah. What's the news? Okay. They're saying, by they, I mean they.com. Yeah. They.org. They.org. Today could be the day.
that the NFL finally has a new collective bargaining agreement in place. Lead negotiator for the players, Jeff Pasch, says he expects the players and owners to have a final deal in front of them to vote on today. Here he is. Obviously a complicated agreement. Obviously. But I think both sides are at the point where they can close, they should close, and we should be in a position to take votes. Everybody get their way. Yeah, so some of the additional items of the CBA that have been agreed upon include the enhanced injury protection benefit, which is good, and I'll tell you more about that later. Players allowed to remain in their medical plan for life, you know, sponsored by the league. Oh, that's great. Yeah, and also an annual increase in the league minimum salary. Wow. So everybody's kind of getting what they want. I think that insurance thing is good. No doubt. Yeah. That's really good. They need it. They do. So a guy at Lindbergh Field was able to get on his flight to San Jose with a knife. He realized it when he got home and unpacked and said, oh, look at this. My sail rigging knife was in my luggage and went right through at Lindbergh. A delicate knife. Well, the TSA says that sharp objects, while they're dangerous, yes.
are not their main area of concern. And really, when you think about it, why should they be? I mean, after all, the hijackers on 9-11 used box cutters. Right. And so, you know, why on earth would sharp objects be an area of concern? But this guy didn't realize that the knife was in his duffel bag when he carried it on board. Perfect. And then... said when he got home he was completely shocked to find it in there. But I do have some good news for you concerning flying. They're not going to see you naked anymore. Dang it. What they're doing is they got some new technology that's going to replace a specific looking outline of your junk. Is that like a cup? Looks like a cup. With a generic outline. It'll be a generic outline. One size fits all. No. That is not it. Kendall. Kind of. Yes. Gotcha. Imagine. OK, so they'll still see, obviously, your body form. You know, they'll see your body form, but they will not see specifics. Whereas right now they see junk specifics. They see the size of junk. They see the shape of junk. Whereas now what it'll look like is an outline of your body, just an outline on the outside. No junk. But if you got something on you, they'll see it.
You know, if you got like some sort of sharp object hidden, they'll see that thing. Unless it's in your duffel bag and then they won't. Then they won't. Maybe they won't see it. Why do I feel like this is just their way of telling us to not worry about the machine? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got this new thing. Don't worry. Outline thing. We got an outline thing. Looks like the man on the front of the bathroom door. Yeah. You're spread eagle. You're like, are you sure? Are you positive? Are you sure? It's just a shadow. You can't see anything. Trust me. He's like, Ms. O'Brien. I'm sure. Can you turn around, please? I'm positive. I can't see anything, but please turn. I can't see that tattoo you have. No. I meant. I meant. If you had a tattoo. Cut your toes. Bend at the waist just a little bit. Just a little. Cut your toes. Just for a second. Just see how it feels. Woods. What? My gosh. That was so gross. Jay's was frozen. I didn't hear what Jay said. Touch your toes. Oh, Jay! Look at that grin. Look at the cat that ate the canary. Look at that grin. That guy is so creepy. More like the canary who ate the cat. We have a new game we're going to play with Jay. It's called I'm Glad You Ask. I'm glad you asked.
And also, when we come back, I'm going to give you some audio. Paris Hilton walked out of an interview real mad. Well, I'll let you hear what question got her so worked up, she stood up and walked out of the interview. We have the audio of it next. The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Brides and Grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, July 31st. It's the Bridal Bazaar. I love it. There's so many choices and I love to have lots of choices. I mean, I kind of have an idea of what I want, but there's so many choices here. It's really awesome. I like what I'm seeing here. There's a lot of variety and kind of where I'm getting a lot of ideas. It's so much easier to have everything in one spot and to be able to see what you actually like.
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This report brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or condo. Call 877-Wawanisa or go to WawanisaUS.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. Coronado Bridge westbound mid-span, pretty slow traffic. It's heavy on the bridge. It's backing up past this mid-span, actually. It's due to some ships that have docked and extra military traffic on the roadway. CHP has issued a traffic advisory. Also on the 8 eastbound at Willows Road, we've got a couple grass fires that are burning about a half a mile away from each other. They do have crews on the scene. And the 94 eastbound between the 15 and the 805, pretty slow, 40 miles an hour right now. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota Dealers, Toyota Owners, San Diego Toyota Dealers. have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I haven't seen a piece of rock in eight years. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. Woods. I was a black comedian. And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9.
Carriage, if I say that between now and 10. Could say it during commercials, too. Just remember, you call her nine, and you'll win tickets to the sold-out Comic-Con. Our boy, Jared, from createyourdesignonline.com is going to be a daddy any day. Yeah. Pretty awesome. And it's amazing, because I talked to him, and he has his laptop at the hospital. And it was so funny, man. I had him on speakerphone. You know, I was having him do some stuff. And I said, oh, wait, dude. I go, I didn't realize that you're at the hospital. I had him on speaker. Rebecca's sitting next to me. And he goes, no, I have my laptop with me. I can do anything. And Rebecca goes, you what? Yeah, exactly. And he goes, I mean, without skipping a beat, Jared goes, hey, just trying to put food on the table. Yes. Yes.
She's trying to provide for my child. Yeah, my new child's coming. I got to keep a roof over the guy's head. What do you want me to do? Unbelievable. Girl's head. Unbelievable. Girl's head. That's right. Little girl. 570-1949. And if you want to reach Jared, createyourdesignonline.com. So I'm going to play this Paris Hilton thing for you in just a second because she walked out of an interview. But before that, you got to hear this. Tiger Woods fired his caddy. Now, he's had this guy. Long time caddy. Yeah, two years, right? Or longer than that. Longer than that. He's won 13 of his 14 majors with this guy. They've been together since 99. Oh, my. Well, he fired him, and the guy's not happy about it. Yeah, his name's Steve Williams. Oh, I'm extremely disappointed, Martin. You know, given the fact that the last 18 months has been a particularly difficult time caddy for Tiger, obviously working through a scandal. He's had a new coach, a swing change. Yeah, the last 80 months have been very difficult and I've stuck by him through thick and thin. I've been incredibly loyal. And then, you know, and then to have this happen, I mean, basically you could say I've wasted two years of my life. I was always adamant in saying that once my career was finished catting for Tiger, that that would be it. But I had no idea my career was going to come to an end of 2011 with Tiger. So, you know, I'll just see how it goes. I mean, given the fact...
what's transpired in the last 18 months. I mean, you know, I certainly, along with a lot of people, lost respect for Tiger. And, you know, I pointed out to him when I came back at Augusta in 2010 after what had happened that, you know, he had to earn back my respect. And, you know, slowly he was doing that, but obviously... That isn't the case right now. When the chips are down, I stuck by Tiger. He put myself and my family in a difficult position there for quite a period of time, so I stuck by him, was loyal to him. So I'm very disappointed that this has come to an end at this time. I'm not disappointed that the fact that I got fired, that's part of the job. When you work in this business, there's no hidden agenda where that comes, but the timing of it is extraordinary to me. I've watched one of the... greatest if not the greatest player that's ever played the game play at a level that you know probably most of us never thought somebody could play it for an extended period of time so you know to be part of that combination and to have witnessed some of the greatest golf that's been played it's been thrilled there's no two ways about it the only time will tell that it's very difficult to know whether to come back he's had a lengthy time away from the game has been sort of not been very competitive the last two years with the exception of a couple of tournaments
And, you know, battled injuries and obviously a major swing change. So he hasn't played any golf of any regularity for some time. So it's a tall mountain to climb. But, I mean, if anybody's going to do it, he's somebody that can do that. This is what I don't understand. He says, I understand being fired. That's a part of this game. But what I don't understand is the timing of it. Meaning, after all the crap. that's gone down in the last 18 months now you decide to fire me after i was here i stuck by you you know i i put up with your well i'm gonna play i'm not gonna play i put up with you playing six holes and then walking off because your knee hurt you know i've been there for you dude and now is when you decide to fire me it's kind of goofy uh you know and i i'm i told woods not tiger woods but
Woods here on the show. Steve Woods. Steve and R. Woods, whose real name has nothing to do with R. But when I mention somebody's real name, I always say R, no matter what. But I mentioned to Steve and R. Woods, I said, boy, I'm a little conflicted on this thing. I get it, the loyalty, blah, blah, blah. But then I think about it and I go, okay, wait a minute, caddy guy. You were the caddy? For the best golfer in the world. And so you stuck by him as opposed to what? Like leaving the biggest golfer in the world? You probably thought that he was going to continue to be the greatest golfer in the world. So it isn't like there wasn't something in it for you to stay with him. Right. Now, if he's saying the timing is all about the fact that you're firing me now after I stood by you through. Your affair and scandal and blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah. I mean, I suppose you could have gone the heat's too much for my family and I'm going to quit. But that almost seems cowardly. It almost seems like the right thing to do is to stay with someone. Now he's firing you and he isn't firing you about because it's a question of loyalty. He's firing you because he's not playing well and he hasn't played well for a long time.
And part of the game is your caddy. I mean, you depend on your caddy for a lot. A ton. And so he's had to change it up. Yeah, well, I'll tell you, you know, Steve Williams, who's his caddy, his wife is really good friends with Elan, Tiger's ex-wife. So this was a group. This was a group that got fractured by the things that Tiger did. So when he said, I stood by you, he really kind of did. I mean, in the face of... You know, granted, he's carrying the bag of one of the greatest golfers in the world. But also, man, I'm sure it's old ladies like, hey, listen, you can't work for that creep anymore. You know what I mean? He's like, oh, listen, I'm going to. I've been here. I'm going to stay here. Probably going to be good for our family. Turned out it hasn't been. And if she said, you can't work for that creep anymore. He hurt my girlfriend. Right. I mean, what's he supposed to do? Be like, all right, babe. Yeah, you're right. I mean, he's a creep. I'll quit.
I think it was... I mean, I am working for the best player to ever live. But yeah, I understand. That was your girlfriend and your feelings are it. So I'll quit. Please. It was more than that, is what I'm saying. No, dude, it isn't. I get what you're saying. I believe you. It was a group. Sure. Like, let's say that Rebecca and Jamie, let's say they're best, best, best friends. And I cheat on Rebecca. What are you going to do? Like, are you going to quit your job? No. Of course not. And the reason that you're not going to quit your job doesn't have to have anything to do with loyalty. It just has to do with putting food on the table. And not just putting food on the table, but in this caddy's case, putting good food on the table. A lot of food. A lot of food. Delicious. Where's it going to go? Don't give me this business about, you know, I was quite loyal during that pier de temps. Really? You were also making a lot of money, bro. He made a lot of money with Tiger. A lot of money. I mean, you win 13 majors, you're going to get a nice cut. I'll tell you what would have been different is if there had been a betrayal. If there had been a betrayal where Tiger said, I don't know, like Tiger misled him. Right. And then replaced him. Yeah, there's some stuff that came out that says basically, Tiger had been thinking about this for a while and what he had done.
is stopped consulting with him and telling him, hey, listen, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to play in this tournament. Not going to play in this one. But he would call him. Like, he played in a tournament, I think, in New Zealand. And he's like, hey, we're playing in this tournament. And he's like, well, thanks for telling me, pal. Now I'm going to fly to New Zealand. Then Tiger drops out after six holes. Stuff like that. You know, that was just like, dude, you've been a train wreck and I've been here. granted i'm gonna make some money off you but you've been a train wreck and i haven't done anything well of course you haven't as opposed to what as somebody else's bag dude you're getting paid to carry my bag not anymore i'm not i haven't made jack squat with you because you're you like to slay strippers and porn stars and you got a hurt knee so when he's not making it so he's not getting paid while tiger no he gets a cut of everything tiger makes on the course doesn't get any of the endorsements they don't you know golfers don't even get a salary or benefits or travel expenses they pay everything out of pocket so i mean i see both sides for sure listen tiger woods is entitled to go you know what man i'm gonna wipe the slate clean i want a fresh new start and it doesn't include you sorry but i can see why that guy'd be pissed listen some something similar happened to me with my old crew okay something similar happened to me with my old crew
They wanted to do their own thing, which is fair. You know, that's fair. All I want is the heads up. Sure. I just want to know, hey, dude, you know, we don't really want to play. We don't want to play the way that you played anymore. Right. We don't want it to be. We don't want you having the last word. We want to all be able to take a vote on everything we do. We don't want it to be the Mikey show anymore. We want it to be just the show instead of the Mikey show. That's fine. But give me the heads up. Right. You know, and I didn't know. I had no idea that that was what they were doing. Now, if that happened with Tiger Woods and Tiger Woods was like, yeah, dude, everything's cool. Everything's cool. And then all of a sudden there's a new caddy out there and dude's like, what just happened? Am I out of a job or what? Right. Like, you didn't say a word to me. In fact, you led me to believe that we were like, everything was cool. That, you know, I get it. But it sounds like Tiger fired him. Yeah. And he fired him because Tiger's not winning. He's cleaning the slate. He's cleaning the slate. He's getting rid of everybody. He got rid of his swing coach, got rid of this guy, and he's just going to clean the slate. But he's not playing good golf. That's a fact. And hasn't been. And hasn't been since that whole deal. Got to start fresh. Yeah. I mean, maybe it changes now, but who knows? And Woods, you can be a good golfer.
Until you're old, right? Oh, yeah. So it's not his age. Oh, no. Like a football player, they get old and they're done. It ain't. I mean, he's got some injuries and stuff. But, dude, you can be a good golfer, you know, until you're 85, 90 years old. Right. You know? 5701949. Does anybody think that that was jacked? Or is it business? Right. Paris Hilton walked out of an interview with Good Morning America on live television. And what did they ask her that got her so mad that she walked out? Listen to this. Do you worry at times that the people who have followed in your footsteps, like Kim Kardashian, are overshadowing you? No, not at all. There's been some talk about the ratings in the show being low. Has that upset you? No. Never a feeling of... Do you ever... If I'm your boss, that bothers me a little bit. A lot. Worry about... Do you ever worry about your moment having passed? Do you want to wrap up? What followed was a long, heated conversation with Hilton and her publicist. Well, I don't want all this being used. After which she agreed to speak with me again. I've been in this business for 15 years now, so it's been a very long... What business? Funny business. Funny business. I've been doing funny business.
You saw the thing. I did some funny business. Oh, I did see your thing. This is funny business. It's actually pretty great. But anyway, Paris. What do you call it? I call it funny business. Show business. What business? Show business. There's no business. Have we known about Paris Hilton for 15 years? Yes. Have we? Yeah. Since she was 15? No, no, no. She didn't say since I was 15 years old. She's 30 now. She said for 15 years. She's 30. She's 30? Yeah. She was 16. I guess show business because she had that reality show with the... Yeah, they brought Lionel Richie's kid. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Model. Have we known about her since 1995? No. Six? Maybe. With that show? What was that show? Paris and... Yeah, that came out about 2000. Maybe you're right, L.O.B. What is she talking about? I don't know. I think we've known about you for 10 years. I meant nine years, Mike. Sorry.
I'm sorry. Long time, and just like any other business person or someone in the industry, it's always important to reinvent yourself and come up with new projects. I agree with that, but this is what Harris Hilton was known for, and I'm going to keep the sex stuff out of it, unless you really feel like that's the biggest thing. I think that's what put her over the edge. That's what put her on the map, isn't it? On my map. No one's ever put her in a movie role in all these 15 years. She's been in something. Yes, she has. She was in Blow for two seconds. Had one line. No, she was in like a feature film where she played the main role and it was a horror movie. What? Yeah. Oh, that's right. All she had to do was play Dead, though. Maybe that's a deal. But what came first, that show with Nicole Richie or the sex tape? Sex tape. Sex tape came first. Is that right? Okay, so the sex tape came first. Then she got known for being a mean person on that show with Nicole Richie. They were both very mean. That was the whole point. Wasn't that the simple life? Yeah. And the whole point of the show was, look how stupid these people are that we are hanging out with. They're poor. We're not. We're rich. They're poor. And sort of the take was, poor people are stupid. I think it started the era of mean. It made mean be very cool and chic.
She was also known for showing her vagina to photographers, getting in and out of automobiles. That's a true story. I'm not saying that to be salacious. You're not being shocking. Not being shocking. I'm stating true fact. That's true. That was one of the things that made her very famous. Good old days. She was a notorious party goer. And then she became very well known for being in trouble with the law and the possibility of jail. And there were cameras that followed her as she was taken to county jail. She did a little time. Did a little time. And she's also been well known for relationships. And then she briefly had a singing career and did some stuff with perfume. So in terms of reinventing yourself, well, in my mind, reinventing yourself means you go a different direction. I used to be a shock jock. And then reinvented myself and I had to start all over again. And it didn't include the old stuff. So what do you do? If you reinvent yourself at this point, Paris, you're going to be a race car driver. Right. I used to be skinny and now I'm fat. You reinvented yourself. I reinvented myself into like the chubby, like lovable guy instead of like the young, thin, sharp guy. Opie Chubb. Opie Chubb. Opie Chubb.
WKYT and Lexington was covering this story. They got the county fair going on out there, and apparently people didn't like that they were doing the Casey Anthony dunking booth. They didn't like that. In between the coasters and the carousels is just an ordinary dunking booth with an extraordinary guest. Somebody's getting serious about this, aren't you? Why are you throwing out the guilty sign? I'm innocent, remember? She came in by Learjet. She left on Sunday, early Sunday, and flew into Bluegrass Airport. I want to see some real men. I've been in prison too long. She wanted to do something fun after being penned up for six weeks, and the offer was made, so Casey decided to come to Lexington. Believe what you want about the woman and the trial this case. P.C. Anthony's personality is causing quite a stir. Get this. Michael Kaplan and the Bluegrass Fair organizers made guilty and innocent signs on the booth for those brave enough to take a shot and cast their own vote. We're hoping that it's taken in a fun way so that... Of course. Why wouldn't it be? Child murderers. You know, sometimes child murderers just aren't funny. Next year they're doing a rapist's booth is what they're going to do. Sure.
Followed by the AIDS booth. And then the pedophilia booth is next door to that. Coming out can release some of their frustrations about what has happened in the last few months. You think I'm guilty? Yes. Oh, my gosh. People's opinion on one hand and on another one that people might actually think it's her and try to do away with her or something. I got some comments, but you don't want to have it on TV. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. You want it on Casey? I don't agree, yeah. Why not? It costs five bucks for two throws. Five bucks for two throws? But I could probably do it. Ten bucks, four throws. Let's just throw these beer cans at her. That ain't a bad idea. We'll probably get in trouble, though. You think? Let's just go in the back of the toilet and make love. Okay. Disgusting. We're above the law. We's like Bonnie and Clyde, baby.
Like Bonnie and Clyde. We are Bonnie and Clyde. We is. That tattoo you got on your back and I got on mine. That's true. Mine says I'm with Bonnie or says I'm with Clyde. Mine says Clyde forever. We're the four. Hey, baby. Yeah, baby. You see the new tattoo I got? No, let me see it. I made my belly button into a butthole. Butthole. That's funny. Can I stick my finger in there? That's what it's for, buddy. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's like the Pillsbury Doughboy's butt. I guess they'll do anything in the South, huh? Who's that girl? Easy over there. I know. Who's the girl, though? Hey, babe, I got a new gig. Yeah, I got a new gig playing Casey Anthony at the dunking booth. I don't know. Babe, I don't know if you should do that. I mean, you should ask. It's a job. You're playing a murderer. I know, but it's acting. Is it? Let's play buzzword. Oh, yes. 570-1949. You're going to pick me, Woods, or L-O-B, and Jay's going to give us a word, and then he's going to give us clues. We've got to yell out what we think it is. Now, I'll tell you.
L.O.B. is good. Would you stop with that? She's freaking good. She's so freaking good. So 570-1949. Call us right now. Pick me, Woods, or L.O.B. And we will play buzzword. And this is great. Also, when we come back, I love it when a reporter feels like they're really going to have a gotcha question and it fails miserably. This woman asked this. She asked this guy, do you have this degree? Turns out he does. We'll play you that. A part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. You ever have too many shows that are scheduled at the same time? You can't record them all? And that is a pain in the butt. We've all been there. You got this show. You really want to see it. But you can't.
Because you've got too much schedule. That's why you need AT&T U-verse. $29 a month for six months. Includes the DVR, and that's one of the great things. You can record up to four different shows at one time. And the other cool thing about it is being able to go to any room in the house and be able to play back those shows from any room in the house. That's cool. So it doesn't work where it's just, oh, that DVR's got those shows on it. That DVR's got those shows on it. You watch it from any room in the house. Very cool. And... Program it from your phone. You forgot to tape something. Don't worry about it. You can do it from your phone. Very easy. Just call AT&T. 877-ONLY-ATT or go into one of their stores or do it online. ATT.com slash TV. Price for 3 meg service. $10 per 50 gigabytes for DSL usage over 150 gigabytes a month. Local access line required. After 12 months, standard internet rates apply. Offer expires 11-5-2011. There's new, and then there's new. As in original. As in, the reset button has been pressed. As in, the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class, with technology like Attention Assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically, one test drive reveals that all this new technology prompts an old reaction. Amazement.
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Awesome. Late night happy hour at Dave & Buster's. The only place to eat, drink, and play. Go to DaveAndBuster's.com for details, hours, and locations. Tomorrow. Boars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men. Cures are made. You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death? In America. We're in. Let's go. Critics agree. Captain America rocks. Here they come! It's the wildest ride of the summer. So, what made to you so special? Nothing. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Captain America, the first Avenger in 3D. For the future 13. Making appropriate for children under 13. Starts tomorrow. This report is brought to you by Kohl's Department Store. Get to Kohl's back to school sale featuring extra, extra specials throughout the store. Fridays, 3 to 11 p.m. Saturday, 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. Well, but you want to be very careful as you travel on the 15 southbound Rancho Bernardo Road. We've got a big spool of chicken wire in the middle of the roadway. You'll want to use caution through that area. Also, it looks like these brush fires that were in Alpine are almost completely out. It's the 8 eastbound at Willows Road.
Two separate brush fires there. Coronado Bridge jammed up here on the freeway. It's mid-span. We're seeing some heavy traffic there. Ships have docked and there's extra military traffic on the roadways. They've issued a traffic advisory for the area. This report also brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Better service, lower rates. Dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo. Call 877-Wawanese or go to wawaneseus.com. Rate shopping. It can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. See San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. Word of the day is carriage. I haven't said it yet. So be listening for me to say the word carriage. And when you hear it, you got to be caller number nine and you'll get ticket. to Comic-Con, which sold out. Kind of cool, man. You know, they're rebuilding at the site of 9-11, and there's going to be a museum there. And they lowered in one of the fire trucks that was helping people out. They wrapped it in a flag, and it's going to be immortalized there, and you'll be able to see it and view it. And, yeah, that will be very, very cool. And they were showing them, lowering it down in there yesterday. It was pretty cool.
Police busted a prostitution ring that was catering to Wall Street. A very high-end prostitution ring. And clients would spend like $10,000 for a night. And it would include sex and cocaine. 17 people have been indicted. And over the last three years, I think about $7 million had been made. That's a lot of money. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some! Padres were on fire last night. 14 runs. They beat the Marlins 14-3. It was unbelievable. It was an offensive explosion that hadn't happened in a while. It was the most runs they've scored all year. So congratulations to them. A big victory. And then kind of sad news. Not kind of. Definitely sad news. The beaten Giants fan, Brian Stowe.
has had another seizure, and he's going to have to undergo surgery. So he was in a coma, had a seizure, more surgery for Brian. So still can't seem to pull out of everything that happened when he was beaten up by the Dodgers fans. Sad. Very sad. Hi. So are you playing buzzword here in just a second? I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. That's gross. That's gross. So, yeah. You know, you're... Here's the deal. Fox News leans right, okay, and conservative. And CNN leans left and liberal. Now, thing is, is that liberals will deny that. And conservatives will deny that Fox is doing their deal. They'll say that, no, Fox is very, moniker is fair and balanced.
Well, I can tell you as a conservative, they're not fair and balanced. They lean right. CNN, they lean left. So they had a economist. Well, he wasn't actually an economist. He's a guy that was talking about figures. And he was criticizing some of the economics that are going on with Obama. Now, this was on MSNBC. Liberal. They lean left. And this girl was trying to get after this guy because he's... Working for the GOPs, working for the Republicans. You're simplifying the issues that were on the plate of the nation at that point. I mean, we were looking at going, reverting a depression at that point. Everyone, the Fed chairman. I disagree that we were going into a depression, but go ahead. Do you have a degree in economics? Yes, ma'am, I do. Highest honors. Okay, so you... Zing. Oh, well, still, anyway, who cares? Moving on. Moving on.
So. So. So what? Yeah, it's valedictorian. Yeah, Stanford. You ever heard of it? Highest honor. Highest honor. Wasn't Harvard. He hard-aged her. Oh, yeah. He hard-aged the crap out of her. If he'd been a jerk, he'd have gone, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't just ease by that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't ask me another question. You just asked me if I had a degree in economics, and I said, yes, highest honors. Are you going to respond? Well, fine, you do then. You're simplifying the issues that were on the plate of the nation at that point. I mean, we were looking at going, reverting a depression at that point. Everyone, the Fed chairman. Well, I disagree that we were going into a depression, but go ahead. Do you have a degree in economics? Yes, ma'am, I do. Highest honors. Okay, so you. Wow. Let's play Buzzword. 570-194-9. M1 Super Mario is on the 5 South. Who do you want? I'll take L-O-B. Yeah. All right, hang on. M1 Jesse from North Park. Who do you want? I'll take Jake. You got to pick Woods or me. Oh, Woods and... There you go. And finally, M1 Jake from San Diego. You get me. Woo-hoo.
I sleep. I sleep. Silence followed by woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. We're playing for a four-pack of tickets to the Wave Water Party. What? What's the word, dude? Are you going to say the word? All right, all right. The word is time. Yeah, it is. P-I-M-E. Time. Time. Like the spice? No, like the time. Okay. Captain and Tennille sang, Do That To Me. One more time! Wow, that's at least a two-way tie. Mikey and Woods. Really hyped on this one. Son of a gun! The passage of years will be revealed... Through the sands of time! I want to reread that. The passage of the years will be revealed... Is that the end? Yes. In due time! Oh, look at you.
Yeah. Oh. Time will tell. Oh. You know, we don't do the get button for this. You got the get. Don't do the crime. If you can't do the time. I'm going to give it to Woods. He's really loud. Hurt is lessened after a while. Time heals all wounds. Oh. God. Dang it. Son of a gun. All right. In the very last moment before it's too late. Naked time. There you go. Shut all your balls. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Put on your pants. One leg at a time. Dang it. What's wrong with my brain? They fall through the hourglass. It's like a dance of time. Lauren. It's totally her. I know. Experience the most fun you've ever had. Time of your life. What'd you say, Lauren? The best time. The best time. The best time. The best time.
I hate this word. Me too. Let's get a new one then. Let's get a new one. Here's a new word. Lady. Okay. L-A-D-Y. Lady. She married Prince Charles. Lady Diana! Woods. Yeah, you know that. Jimi Hendrix sang it. Foxy Lady! I mean, Mikey. Mikey got it. Gosh. Lauren O'Brien. The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane in Lady. My Fair Lady? Yes, Lauren. Oh my God. A lady. Falls mainly on the plane in lady. What's wrong with you? Oh, gosh. It can be helpful in Vegas or Atlanta. Lady luck. Lucky lady. Lady luck. Lucky lady luck. We give it to Woods. Oh, I said lucky lady. It's not the answer, though. Let's see. Proper and refined. Act like a lady. Dang it. In behavior. Lady luck. Give it to Lauren.
All right, what's the score, L.O.B.? 8 versus 8. L.O.B. 3, Woods, Sun Moon, Mike 3. So these next two are three-pointers. Next what? Two? Next two. Three-pointers. Okay. Cute. Red Beetle. Ladybug! There you go. Dang it! Here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's all down to this. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A guy who attracts women. Lady killer! Lady! Lady's man. Lady killer. I said... Lady's man. Mikey got it. I win. Yes! That was easy. M1, Jesse? Jesse, are you there? Hello? Yeah, I'm here. Jesse, did you have woods? Yeah. Okay, hang on a line. He won for you, buddy. That was the worst game of buzzwords. Oh, man, that was tough. I really hated that game of buzzwords. Me too. I loved it. My brain was not working today. Me either. It was very difficult. Stop it.
Stop playing that. 570-1949 is our number if you want to call us. Let's see. I want you to call and fill in this blank. Are you ready? My dad is so computer illiterate that blank. Now, I'm going to tell you one that got me and got me good. I mean, I laughed and I laughed real hard. Our friend Lori, okay? Her dad is new. To computers. And not only is he new to computers. But he just got himself an iPad. Which really freaked him out. But before he was going to master the iPad. He needed to learn the computer. And Laurie said. That he knows so little about the computer. That he thought that any place. Anywhere. That said search. Was like Google. That in fact. It was Google.
If it said search, that was the Google. So he was trying to search iTunes for air filters. He was in the search field on iTunes typing in air filters, and he was so mad. Probably got some indie band from Colossus. Some indie band called Air Filters. Yeah, they're great, Woods. Buy $9. Okay. Yeah. Oh, $9 air filter. How bad? Yeah, he's like, so what do I do now? Like, do I just wait? Do they know my address? They just ship it to me? It just comes to me? Oh, man. Gosh, it's funny. 570-1949. Call us with the thing that your dad does with the computer that is just completely, it blows your mind and makes you laugh at the same time. Because of how computer illiterate it is. One of my favorites is typing an entire email in the subject line. That's my favorite bit. Ever. My dad did something similar with Instant Messenger. He used to say, I'd be like, hey dad, what's up? I'd wait minutes, minutes, minutes go by and then I'd be like, dear Lauren. And an entire email and then love dad. And I'd be like, ha ha, I'm right here. Ten more minutes would go by. Dear Lauren. You thought it was an email? Yeah.
Oh, you know, it was like it like I was right there. Oh, my gosh. That is fan. He wrote out an email. Yeah. Things are good. The dog's doing well. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Your mom's breaking my balls again. We just went to the store. We got more pasta sauce. We got more pasta. Your sister called today. The kid's doing great. You're like 20 minutes. Oh, yeah. I would sit there and just wait, wait. Oh, that's so great. I have taught my dad, who today is his birthday. I have taught my dad how to burn a CD. Whoa. No less. Then five times. My dad doesn't. He will actually mail me like Chris Christopherson CDs with the numbers circled and stuff. And then another CD. He wants one mixed CD and doesn't know how to do it. So he'll mail me stuff. He'll mail you the actual CD. He'll mail me stacks of CDs with Post-its on it. And it'll say like number four. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is a dad, man. He doesn't want to even know, though. I've tried to show him. Yeah, they don't care. His brain is... Here's what it is. Here's what it is. I'm going to explain it.
They come from a different era, obviously. They come from a different era. And during that era, there was no such thing as playlists and burning CDs and stuff. And they know, if I try to learn this, it's going to frustrate me. And I'm better than that. I don't need this crap in my life. I'm smarter than this thing. I'm smarter than that crap. Got by for years without it. Never needed it. And I don't need some computer to tell me that I'm a dork. Think about the days when our dads were in business, Mike. I know. When my dad went to his first job out of college, you know what was in his cube? What? A telephone. Holy crap. And that's it. They said, here's your list and there's your phone. Go sell some steel, pal. Wow. No. Hey, let me Facebook for a while. Let me email somebody. Oh, my gosh. Nada. This was your day. Hey, this is Gary Woods. Annacott Steele or whatever. And you had a secretary. Meetings. Meetings. Get messages actually about phone calls. Oh, who called? Do you know that I have never received an email from my mother? My mother doesn't have an email address. She doesn't have an email address. Never has had an email address. Never has sent an email nor received an email. It's incredible. Yeah. It's incredible.
Ten years ago, I bought my mom a computer. And I was like, okay, I'm going to set you up with email. Went and got her an email, got her an internet connection, the whole nine yards. Put the computer in her room, showed her how to wear it. I was like, this way we can send pictures because we live so far away. See the kids? She thought, after I left, all she did was play solitaire on it. It's a $3,000 solitaire machine. She called me one time. She goes, the solitaire won't come up. Oh, no. She couldn't. And then it was just over. It just turned into it. Until about five years ago, she still had it. To her defense, Jay, for three grand, you should be able to play the hell out of solitaire. That's true. That thing shouldn't come up. That solitaire better be the most absolutely, what's the word? Dependable solitaire in the world. Listen to this. M1 Joey from Encinitas. Are you there? Yes. What does your father do? He picked up the mouse and pointed it at the computer. My brain just snapped. I'm doing it right now. I'm pointing my mouse like a remote. Hey, babe, this freaking mouse is broken. This won't work. This stupid thing won't work because I'm pressing it and it's not doing anything on there. That's outstanding. Oh, it's outstanding. That's awesome.
So cute. We have to start like a Twitter pound thing. Dumb things my dad does on the computer. That's great. Thank you, Joey. Let's see. M1, Ronald, are you there from PB? Yes, I am. Go ahead. My dad sits on a computer with a sledgehammer and he hits his fingernails. What? What? What? Are you there, Ronald? My dad. He has his fingernails. What? Ronald? He's eating marijuana cigarettes. He's eating them. He's just eating bushels of marijuana. Oh, God. Ronald, what happened? M1 Lamar from San Diego. You mean Lamer? Yes. All right. My dad.
called me one day and said, hey, there's something wrong with my iPod. You know, I'm working out and only plays the same song over and over again. Oh my God. So I had to come all the way out there and tell him that, yeah, it's on repeat. Oh my God. Oh my God. And then I had to show him three different times. That's fantastic. The thing is, it happened again. Hey. It keeps playing the platters. You really got a hold on me. Smoke gets into your eyes. And that's all it does. It just keeps playing it over and over and over. And it's a piece of crap. This stupid thing is a piece of crap. This thing is broken. The best. We got my dad an iPod, what, five years ago and a bunch of gift cards. Those gift cards sit unused, unscratched. Of course. Zero idea how to operate that thing. Absolutely. I bought him an adapter for the car. Can't use it. Never use it. Of course. Go ahead. My brother works for Apple. Oh my gosh. Which is insult to injury. Yeah. Oh yeah. Absolute insult. Guy's trying to do his lats and he's listening to this. He's like, God, this is freaking terrible. You got to see how my dad organizes his email. That is...
That one is maddening. At least there's organizations. Oh, no. See, I use the word organization very loosely. He will have all of these folders that say, like, Mike, Mark, Sam, Steve, you know. And when you open up his email, he's got every email in his inbox as a brand new email. So he's got, like, 4,000 emails because he saves every email. And I'm like, Dad. You have these folders, which I'm not even sure why you got all the names there, but you got to do something with those. They're just sitting there brand new. And he'll be so frustrated trying to find an email from four years ago. Has he read them? Yes, but he keeps them there. And he clicks on save as new. Save as new. Save as new. Save as new. Oh, Mike. Oh, Mike. Love the guy. He's the greatest. He's the greatest. I'm going to call him. It's his birthday. I want to call him.
Wish him a happy birthday. Outstanding. Imagine if you're afraid of heights and you get stuck on a bungee jump ride for three hours. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. Gotta tell you about something that has changed my life. It's life-changing, if you will. I got LASIK surgery about a year ago, and it was phenomenal, man. I met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center and got my eyes done, got LASIK finally after wearing glasses, contacts, all that good stuff. But listen, it changed my life. It can change yours. If you're one of the heroes of this community, they're going to honor you with a discount on LASIK. Now, I'm talking about police officers, firefighters, military personnel, teachers, and their spouses. So give them a call today, 858-452-3937.
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Hear the authentic surf report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden College. This report brought to you by Allstate. Renters Insurance covers things like your laptop, your bike, digital camera, even when you're not in your apartment. Protect your stuff with Allstate today for around 17 bucks a month, dollar for dollar. Nobody protects you like Allstate. Well, we've got a little delay here on the 5 southbound Genesee Avenue due to an accident here. Four cars, three in the center divider, another one over on the right shoulder. Watch out, there's also a bunch of debris that's hanging out in the middle of the roadway. The 805 southbound between Serrano Valley Boulevard, La Jolla Village Drive, some slight delay speeds in the 4 there. And in Escondido, you've got a tough drive on the 15 southbound between the 78 and Center City Parkway. This report also brought to you by San Diego Zoo Global. See spots run at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Cheetah Run. It's now included with all safaris starting at $40. For details, visit San Diego ZooSafariPark.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird of Sir Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning brought to you by Frostbrew Coors Light. Coors Light is the coldest. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado.
Surf-wise today, a little bit smaller than yesterday as that southwest and west-northwest well combination continues to taper off slowly but surely. Still some ride-em-aways, though, running in that need-away-side zone on average. Maybe a few chest-out-ways at standout spots that are most open to the total combination of directions. Looking at overcast skies, I greet you this morning. Not looking too thick, so I expect it to burn off relatively quickly. The winds out of the south, southeast again, little eddy winds, so some spots do have a light texture on them. Beach breaks are better bent right now. That tide's dropping off to a low, or is a low right around this time. So look for some improvement later in the morning as it starts to fill back in. Knee waist high again at the beaches, about the best you're going to get. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For surfboard repair restoration needs, you go see my friend Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! Woods. My thing is I just try not to be a dirty, freaky pig in my head. And Jay. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. And welcome back. My dad is on the line.
And I believe it was 75 years ago today that he was in a little baby carriage. Dad, are you there? Yes, I am, Mike. Happy birthday, Pops. Well, thank you very, very much. Happy birthday, Mr. E. Yeah. Dad, how old are you today? 75. 75. Wow. 75. Never thought I'd make it to this. Hey, Dad, I'll tell you what, and I mean this. He looks good. He really does look good. He looks great. I can only hope to look the way that you look, Dad, when I'm 75 years old. You look great, and I think you've taken good care of yourself. You look like the most interesting man in the world. What's the latest on the TV stuff, Dad? What's the latest stuff around? They're both retired. Mom and Dad both retired. What's the big TV shows for you guys? Well, you know, we like Dancing with the Stars. Dancing with the Stars, of course, a big player. And American Idol. American Idol's a big player at their house. Yeah, and Swamp People now. Yeah. I got him into Swamp People. I love that. Tonight, I think, is the last show. Oh, that makes me sad. I really like it. Makes me very sad. Do you watch it, Jay? Yeah, I watched it when I was in Uvalde visiting my mom.
Did you just watch one? They had like a day-long thing, so I caught up on a bunch of shows. I know a bunch of the guys now. It's the greatest. It's the greatest. Some of those dads are great dads, man. Oh, yeah. They beat their kids. But they're good fathers. They're good fathers. You know? Well, Pops, happy 75th. Yeah. And I love you so much. And I don't know what we're going to do for your birthday, but we should do something. Okay. What are you going to do today? Sam's going to cook some ribs. Today? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, he wants to go over and he's going to make some other specialty, you know, Sam. Oh, man, my brother cooks good. Oh, yeah. Mike, you stepped all over your dad saying, I love you, Mike. I heard him. It was great. It meant a lot to me. It did. I love you, pops. All right. Well, we'll figure something out. Maybe we do something this weekend or something, Dad. Okay. All right.
Okay. I love you guys. See you, Mr. Sparza. Love you. Little angel. Gosh, the greatest. He's a good dude. Me good. Me good. He's actually in better shape than you. Oh, wow. Holy cow. Holy cow. Ow. Holy cow. Ow. It's killing me. It's killing me. He's a fit guy. He does have a smaller waist than I do. M1 Joey from Oceanside. What was the word of the day? Carriage. Correct. You got a pair of single day tickets to Comic Con. Sold out, pal. And you got them. So thank you. And hang on the line. Our Dave and Buster's Wipeout viewing party is a week from today. And we want everybody to be there. Every M1, we want you there. Woods and Jay are going to be making their appearance.
On the nationally broadcast show, Wipeout. As a matter of fact, today we're going to be talking to Jill Wagner from Wipeout. Who is she, Woods? She's the host, the girl that talks to the real, the sexy girl that sits there and talks to everybody. Not the diver. Is she a professional Olympic diver, you know, and that's the springboard that she's on? Jumper? Diver. Oh, I see. She's an archer. Missed the mark on that one. Yep. Crazy. She slipped on a banana peel. So this guy is afraid of heights. And so you would think that maybe he wouldn't get on this ride. The worst ride of my life. 23-year-old William Monsetta was trying to conquer a fear of heights when he got on the Texas Blast Off. I was pretty confident, you know, like, we're going to go ahead and do this. We're going to ride the ride. It's going to be over with. Less than 60 seconds.
No problem. This is YouTube video of how it's supposed to operate, much like a giant slingshot. I'm anxious to, you know, go ahead and get it over with. The thing shoots out perfect. We're dangling. We're thinking, oh, this is part of it, you know. But the couple got stuck 100 feet in the air when, as they were being lowered, the bungee cords on one side got tangled. They realized the left side was not functioning anymore. So we were stuck at an angle. Dallas Fire Rescue crews worked for hours and got a special fire engine with a basket to help bring the couple to safety. As for his fear of heights? Well, it won again. I'm never riding anything of that sort again, ever again. Set to marry in February, the couple says the ordeal actually brought them closer. Up there, we laughed. We got in a fight up there. And then she kind of cried, and that kind of brought a tear to me. So it's like we had all these emotions up there at one time. But, I mean, if we could get past that, I'm sure everything else is good. That's actually a good thing. It teaches you, how do I know I'm with the right person? How do I know they're going to make a good wife? Well, I'll tell you how. You go up into a stressful situation, 100 feet up in the air, in a basket. In a basket.
And you get into a tiff. But it brings you closer. That's how you know. You'll go through all kinds of different things in a dating relationship. Even if you're married now, you probably can think back on the times where you got into one where she was busting your balls so bad, you thought, there's no freaking way. No freaking way. But it worked out. Vice versa. Girl thinks to herself, he did this. But it worked out. M1 Paul from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What's going on? Well, I don't know. Maybe I'm a weirdo or whatever. But so we get this dog. Me and my girlfriend get this dog, right? We live in together. And she's terrible at taking care of this dog. I mean, and it's little things like forgot to feed it today or forgot to take her out and stuff like that.
I'm starting to think maybe this isn't such a good idea. How is she going to take care of a kid or something like that? Is she going to forget to change the diaper or feed it? A dog isn't necessarily a kid, I know, but it's the same mentality, I guess. It's the same thing we're talking about. How do you know? How do you know if it's the right, if the girl is going to, if she's going to be the right one for you? Yeah. Didn't take very good care of her own. Is it her pet? Is it your pet together? Did you get it together? Was it hers? Well, we moved in and it was kind of like, oh, hey, let's get a dog. And it was just kind of like a joint effort type deal getting the dog. So we, you know, she went out and picked one that she liked and I went out and got it. So technically it's our dog, but it's more like my dog because I end up taking care of every aspect of this dog. I mean, everything about it. Is there even one thing that she does? I think a girl could be a bad pet owner, but a good mom. I think. Woods? I don't think so. You think if she takes bad care of a pet, she won't feed a child? Well, let's not go there, but I'm saying that she has a... Dating is a tryout. You're trying out. Yeah. Especially if you're living with somebody. You're really trying out. So they're going to get a glimpse into what you're really like. This girl's failing the tryout, man. You know what I mean? This guy's looking and going, I need to feed the dog. Pick up after. What are you...
It's ridiculous. It's different though, right? Yeah. I don't know. You're not going to not feed your kid. It's putting thoughts in this guy's mind. She needs to be a little more responsible. I agree. But it's a mom's instinct to feed her kid. It's a mom's instinct to feed her kid. Sure. You're right. There's more instinct involved with having a child. Something changes. When you get pregnant and you go through the whole thing, you turn into... You turn into a super mom. Most of the time. I think what you need to ask yourself is, am I willing to be with a woman? Oh, by the way, I'm going to give you a piece of wisdom that was given to me that I've mentioned on the air before by a guy named Brent. A guy named Brent told me this, and he wrote it to me in an email, and I saved the email. The email is now over 10 years old. He said, when you're going to marry somebody, think about the thing about them. that drives you the craziest, that you don't like the most. He said, and multiply that in its intensity times 10. If you can still live with that, then you're good to go. Now, when I married Rebecca, I actually thought about that. And the thing that drove me the craziest, and she'll have one for me, but the thing that drove me the craziest is she has to let, she has to finish her thought.
before she will answer a question. So she'll be saying something, and I know where she's going. And I'll go, why did they do that? And she will not stop. She'll continue until she's done with the thing, take a pause, and then go, they did it because they thought they were going to be late. But she's got to finish it. And it always, when we were dating, drove me crazy. Now, we got married, drove me crazy times 10. He was right. But I love her. I can live with that. I can live with that. Now, if a girl's a cheater and you get married, she might be a cheater times 10. If a girl's a slob, it might bug you times 10. If a girl's a, if a guy is a slob, probably going to bug you times 10. But as long as you can live with it, you're good to go. In my opinion. A kid times 10? Well, I don't know that you equate it times 10. I will say this.
She's not going to change that style with the pet. Once you get married, it doesn't change. It stays the same. It doesn't change. So if it bothers you right now and it sounds like it does, just multiply that times 10. If you can still live with that, you're good. You know, it's just like I'm taking care of it constantly. You know what I mean? Like it's our dog. So I feel like we should be taking care of it. But it's more like taking care of. Yeah. You know, and so. That's all I'm like, a little help here, you know? Yep. That's kind of where I'm at. Well, thank you, Paul. I appreciate the phone call. I'll take your dog if you don't want your dog. If it's a big nuisance for you, just give it to the kid. Yeah. Home for wayward dogs. You got seven. I know. I got a friend, and the friend's wife, he has talked to her a million times. Listen, if you charge something on the debit, just tell me.
That's all. Okay. They've been married 25 years. Oh, wow. 25 years. He says it still happens. He said, and I said, well, wait, I said, that's not, that's not possible. And he said, do you think that I'm lying? And I thought about that for a minute and I went, no, I don't. I don't think you're lying. So that must mean it is true. She really does still do that. Just tell me. If you're going to get something, just tell me. Otherwise, our checkbook isn't going to... It's not going to balance. A lot of things, you know, they just don't change. Same person. Also, he says, she will never take ownership. So if something goes wrong, she will never say, all right, you got me. Really? Never. I couldn't stay married to somebody like that for 25 years. I couldn't.
That's why it's him and not you. That's true. That's the deal. That's true. And that's the thing, like, would drive me batty. Yeah, stuff works for people. Other people, it wouldn't work. Kim makes me crazy. She likes to pull things apart, like a room. She'll pull it apart. We just had this fight last night. She took the bathroom apart and was cleaning everything, but then it's still out. I'm like, finish. So she'll clean it, but not put it back. Not put it back. And I'm like, you got it everywhere. She'll do that, and then she'll move on to the next one. You know what I do that drives Rebecca? Batty. Drives her batty. Oh, wow. Wow. You wouldn't let him finish. Okay, okay, okay. I never put things where they belong. Never. I just do not put things where they belong. A phone belongs in its cradle. Yes. A cordless phone belongs in its cradle. For me, it can go where it can go. On top of the television. For me, it can go on the mantle at the fireplace. For me, the cordless phone can go on a stool where you sit. Sure. And it drives her batty. I'm sure my missus really enjoyed waking up to the bowl of cereal milk that I left next to the bed. Oh, it's just filthy. As I left, that I ate last night before I went to bed.
Get me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. It's got that layer, that film, you know, on top. How come you didn't put it in the toilet? I was running. I was running late this morning. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I woke up a little bit later than I usually do. I was like, well, I looked at it and I go, well. I'd kill you. I would kill you. Yeah. Cereal milk. She woke up to next to the bed. I got a crazy story for you guys. Crazy story. Crazy. Yesterday, Jake's therapist came over and said, hey. There's an injured rabbit in the backyard. I said, really? And I said, how injured? She said, pretty injured. She said, looks like a cat got a hold of it or something. I said, uh-oh. So I go out there. Sure enough, there's a rabbit. And it sees me and it goes away. And so I go back inside and I tell Rebecca, sure enough, there's a rabbit out there and it's injured. And she goes, babe.
Put it out of its misery. Don't let it suffer. And I did the look behind me bit. Like, who? Who's babe? Oh, me? Me? Put it out of its misery? Who's our new friend, babe? Yeah, who's babe? You got to. And I go, because she felt so bad for it. And it was suffering. And she felt bad for it. And so I said, well, okay. I said, The only way I could do it is I'm going to have to shoot it because I got a nine millimeter. And she goes, she goes like this. She goes, no. And I go, well, what do you want me to do? And she goes, well, can't you like, and she's thinking because she, that hadn't occurred to her. Like, well, how do I? And so she goes, well, can't you just do something to its neck or something? And I go, babe, I go.
You think that the more humane thing is to do something to its neck? I go, what am I going to do? Be Crocodile Dundee and like crawl around back there and find it and like corner it like Rocky chasing the chicken? And she goes, well, I don't, I don't, I just feel bad. So there I was in the backyard with a nine millimeter H and K. You out of your mind? Back. You're not supposed to discharge firearms like that. No. I now know that. Didn't know at the time. And it is crazy loud. In a neighborhood? I never discharged the firearm. Wow. I didn't have to. Now, I had this rabbit in my sights. And I was thinking to myself, oh man, I wonder how loud this is going to be. So this is what's happening in my head.
I wonder how loud this is going to be. Now, the rabbit can move around and hop and everything. You should have called the Humane Society. Called the freaking animal control. Freaking animal control. Animal rescue. You were a rabbit out wanting to kill snap necks and cash cash. Hang on. It couldn't hop. It couldn't hop, but it could walk. It probably just needed a little surgery. I'm not dead yet. Do you guys want me to tell you the deal? You don't want me to tell you. Oh, I want. No, no, no. No. No, but do you want me to tell you what the condition was? Amputee. I don't think you... Do you want to know? You don't want to know, right? Yeah. He's pretty torn up. It wasn't even torn up. It was so strange. It was weird. You know what it looked like? It looked like James Gumm had got to him and said, you're about a size 12. And cut the skin in him. It was like a perfect... You know, this cat... A few stitches. Yeah. We're overrun with them. We're overrun with rabbits. It's going to bring snakes. It's going to bring snakes. Snakes are not sweet. Rabbits are. They can be domestic pets. Don't mess with the food chain. Just don't start killing animals. Do you think that you should let an animal suffer? No. Woods, you monster. You call the humane society. Woods wants rabbits to be tortured. No way. Woods.
You have a t-shirt on right now that says, I want rabbits to suffer. It's not going to work. He's eating rabbit stew and wearing a rabbit hat. Just use your machete. What? Jay! Oh my gosh. Dude, call the pest control. Animal control. We have. Rancho Coastal Humanity. They're not pests. You know what I mean. They don't come out. for a rabbit. They came out for a turtle. Hey, we called them for birds, little baby birds. Call me next time. I'll call them. I found a turtle that had been run over and they came out. You call me, I'll handle it from now on. Really? Yes. Okay, here comes Captain Call out then. Guess who I was FaceTiming with at the time that we found the rabbit. Why do you guys FaceTime in the first place? Why do you get angry that we FaceTime? It's so weird. I didn't want to see it. I was FaceTiming with Woods when it happened, and Woods was like, I'm getting off the phone, dude. No, I said I don't want to see it. Yeah, you don't want to see it. No, I don't want to see it. Well, how come you didn't come over and take care of it? Because I thought that you would call Animal Control, and I didn't think your wife was going to say, go break its neck, or I'm going to get my gun. It's a rabbit. Just call the thing. She wanted to put it out of its misery. What do you think they're going to do?
Surgery. Stitches. Well, first of all, we called them for little baby birds that fell out of a nest. Nobody cares about birds. You are unbelievable. What? You are uncensored. You are unedited. You are unclean. How are the rabbit tacos? Oh, boy. What don't they care about animals if they're cute and furry? I was talking to M1 Mark this morning over email about it. And M1 Mark said, you know, he told me you can't shoot a 9mm in the backyard. I thought if it was my property I could, but I didn't. Anyway, but he said that they have the same problem, but he says they eat them and it's good. He says they taste good. Rabbit tastes good. Woods is looking at me right now with just complete emotionless face. Ed eats chickens and cows. Yeah, he eats chickens, he eats cows. Yeah, they're not cute, aren't they? Garlic, butter, and white wine.
Six phrases that get suckers like all of us dudes to buy stuff next. Show coming up. I always have to look my sexy. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Just want to let you know, AT&T is doing all they can for you to save you money. $14.95 a month. That's 12 months. It's a one-year term. It's guaranteed for you. This is really, really cool. Think about it this way. With the cost of stuff going up, going up, going up, everything's always going up. Right now is the best time for you to get in on this. Give them a call. 1-800, or excuse me, 1-877-only-ATT or you can go online, att.com slash possible. Now this again is the high speed and they've got 24,000 hotspots all over the country that you can get connected to.
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Chase Quick Deposit. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Chase Quick Deposit is now available for select smartphones. Enroll in Chase online and download Chase mobile app. Subject to eligibility. Deposits subject to verification. Not available for media withdrawal. Limits, terms, and conditions apply. Message and data rates from your service provider may apply. See chase.com slash quick deposit for details on eligible smartphones. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member of DIC. Hey, this is Jay with the Mikey Show. Join me today for the League of Most Interesting Chats. We're going to be out at Chiefs in Carlsbad from 4 to 5 p.m. We've got a ton of cool prizes, including a pair of tickets to L.A. Rising. Come out, check us out. We're in Carlsbad from 4 to 5 p.m. for the League of Most Interesting Challenges. Do you find yourself staring whenever a Jeep vehicle drives by? Do you wonder where it's been, where it's going next? Do you say to yourself, someday, when the time is right, that's going to be me? Say hello to someday. Now you can get great deals on the new Jeep vehicle of your choice, including the newly designed Compass, the newly refined Patriot, the versatile Liberty. the iconic Wrangler, and the most luxurious and capable Grand Cherokee ever. It's time for other people to wonder where you're going next in your new Jeep vehicle. Now, at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance Event. For the first time ever, get 0% APR for 60 months or $1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for $1,000 financed for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Ally.
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Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Follow the fun to Del Mar this Sunday for Family Fun Day, presented by Augie's Pizza. Head over to the infield for numerous games, great rides, and the coolest activities, all free. Plus, kids 12 and under get a free Webkinz plush horse while supplies last. It all happens this Sunday at Del Mar. As always, kids 17 and under get in free. Applebee's knows what the neighborhood likes. Fresh ingredients layered with flavor and topped with all the things you crave, which is exactly why we created our stacked stuffed and topped entrees starting at $9.99. Dishes like our all new chicken parmesan stack and our hot off the grill Florentine topped house sirloin. So come on in for dishes that are stacked, stuffed and topped with layers of flavor. Only at Applebee's. There's no place like the neighborhood. You don't have to go far to find the best late night spot in the neighborhood. Applebee's is open till midnight or later. with great food and drink specials. So tonight, when other places are winding down, grab some friends and come to the one place in the neighborhood where you're always welcome, Applebee's. There's no place like the neighborhood. Every night starting at 9, join the late night party at Applebee's, where you'll find the best happy hour in town. Wednesdays, it's girls' night out, featuring half-off bottles of wine, $5 martinis,
And lots of surprises. Ollie wrote an opus about mythical creatures named Ollie Gators. That's right, Ollie Gators. And he needed a super ink to print his masterpiece, so he bought an original HP ink cartridge. They print up to two times the pages than generic refills, so every page was artfully printed. Just what he needed for the greatest novel ever written. About Olligators. Original HP ink cartridges print up to two times the pages than refilled cartridges. Find them at a retailer near you. HP. Hit print. Based on a Byers Laboratory, Inc. 2011 study commissioned by HP on the performance of cartridges refilled by refill service providers sold to North America. Six Flags introduces Green Lantern First Flight. America's first vertical spin coaster. Now open. Go head over heels on 360-degree spins. Launch out of control through wildly twisted vertical track. With unexpected drops and flips, it's pure chaos in motion. Plus, save $25 at SixFlags.com. Go big. Go Six Flags Magic Mountain. Now with the most coasters on the planet.
This report brought to you by UnitedHealthcare of California. You want what's right for your employees. To help your employees and your business grow healthy, talk to your broker about UnitedHealthcare of California and UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company. Learn more at growhealthy.com. Well, we've got some backup this morning on the 5 northbound Genesee Avenue. It was an earlier accident. Four cars involved. It has turned into a CIG alert. Three were in the center divider, another on the right shoulder. Bunch of debris across the roadway right now. Fire Department has that left lane blocked until... Further notice and traffic is all the way backed up to Nobel Drive. Looks like a delay here on the 805 southbound between Sereno Valley Boulevard and La Jolla Village Drive. And the drive-thru Escondido this morning pretty tough on the 15 southbound between the 78 and Center City Parkway. This report brought to you by Caltrate. Caltrate helps strengthen bones with 1,200 milligrams of calcium, 800 IU of vitamin D3. Women need Caltrate. Caltrate helps women keep moving because women move the world. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. It's going to be nice today. It just looks like a turd right now. Does anybody care that Atlantis, the space shuttle, landed for the last time ever? Yes. No more space shuttle? Absolutely.
Is that a big deal to you? Oh, it's huge. Oh, yeah, right, Jay? It's the end of the space. 30 years, man. I remember being a kid and when the first one landed and all that. Yeah. We watched it on TV live in the classroom. It was huge. Black and white. Yep. Well, ours was a color TV, but... I don't know. I was in black and white. All right. Wasn't it the same year? Yeah, it was. Maybe Jay had a black and white TV in our school. was rich and had a color TV. Right. So your school was better. Right. Obviously. It was, yeah, 30 years ago that this thing started, and this morning at 557 it landed, and they're not going to do it anymore. Dang it. How about this? Did you know that Californians would rather ease penalties than pay for more prisons? They'd rather just let them out. Well, I think it depends on what the crime is. Marijuana. Yeah, marijuana. Leave them alone. Love them. Smoke with you, got them. Yeah, I think that's right. Nonviolent offenders? Get them out of there. Nonviolent offenders. Okay, I can be down with that. Yeah, because I don't want to pay anymore. We pay plenty to live here. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, today could be the day for the collective bargaining agreement to be finalized and voted on. However, the NFL is in for another lawsuit. They're being sued by 75 former players saying that they buried information regarding concussions.
As early as the, you know, they've known about it since as early as the 1920s. So there's 75 former players suing the NFL. It will not affect the collective bargaining agreement. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it is. And also, if you didn't hear earlier, the Padres scored their most runs of the season. They scored 14 runs and beat the Marlins 14 to 3. All right, now I'm going to switch things up a little, LLB. Okay. I have to do. I'm glad you asked. I originally. Called it, I'm glad you asked. And Woods corrected me that it should be called, I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. Now, here is the idea. I'm going to reach in and I'm going to pull out something written on a piece of paper. Jay will have to pretend that he is speaking to a child. Aren't I already? He's going to have to pretend that he's speaking to a child.
And he is going to explain whatever it is that I give him to a child. Now, who is the child? Me, Woods, and L.O.B. Yep. Will be the child. Okay. You ready, Jay? As I'm ever going to be. Please be mine. Jay, this is not mine. Jay, what is a foot fetish? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. Well. Glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. You see, sometimes when people grow up, they discover that they have a certain liking for a certain part of somebody's body. In this instant, it happens to be the feet. Right in this instant? Like this instant right now, Dad? Yeah.
Yeah, like in this situation. Okay. In this situation, they've acquired a certain taste for people's feet. You mean they want to eat them? They want to eat the feet? You know, the interesting thing is sometimes yes. Sometimes they may want to kiss the feet. So that's what a fetish means, that you like to eat feet? Well, not so much eat, because that would be cannibalism, where that's the eating of meat of other people. Dad? Wait, so if I eat meat, Dad, I'm a cannibal? No, son. You're confusing me. You're confusing me too, Dad. What it is is they like pictures and they like to touch and they like to feel the fill of people's feet. I like pictures. Aren't feet eat? I don't dislike them. Daddy. Aren't feet stinky? They are. You're right. They are stinky. Especially if you, you know, Stephen, you know that your feet are really stinky. Yeah. Thanks a lot. So why would anybody like Stephen's feet, Dad? I don't think anybody would like his feet, but maybe L.O.B.'s. Why? Why would they like L.O.B.'s feet? Because she has really nice feet. Oh. That's not bad. Okay.
Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. I can probably get behind that. Get behind that. That was dynamite. I'm going to reach in. This is the most fun I've had. Really? Yeah. Do another one. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. That was just one. Dad? Dad, what does it mean to abbreviate? I am glad you asked. Sometimes it's easier to shorten the word instead of use the whole word. So, like, instead of book, I would say book. It's not good in every situation. It can only be used with certain words. Like what? Which words? Let's see. What would I abbreviate? Wait a minute. What's abbreviate? What's abbreviate mean? Let me think about this. I could just, when I'm writing something down, let's say it's writing the days of the week. Right. Okay. I could shorten it from Friday just to F-R-I.
Done. He did it. I'm not satiated. He did it. He said that is definitive. Alright, listen. One more. One more. One more. He's shirt shimmying. Like a mofo. Dad? Yes, son? What is memory? I'm glad you asked. What is memory? Well... Let's look into this. Well, do you remember last year when we went on vacation? No, I don't know what that is. What does that mean? Well, last year when we went to Disneyland. Yes. So Disneyland means memory? Disneyland is memory? When we went... Remember when we got on the... Dad, I don't know what memory or remember is. We rode the Indiana Jones ride. Oh, yeah.
So Indiana Jones is memory. So us riding on it, that was fun, right? Yes. That is a good memory. That's a memory that we have together. So a good ride is a memory. Last year when you had that nice cake with all the candles in it. Cake is memory. Cake is memory. That was a good memory. It's things that exist in your head. that take you back to a certain time. Oh. Jackpot. Okay. I think you got it. I think you got it. That's why Jay's such a good dad, dude. He can break stuff down. That is rough. Have any of your kids ever asked you what a foot fetish is? No. Oh, man. I hope not. All right. Six things that suckers like us guys will end up with because they have little clever ways of getting us to buy stuff. I'll give you an example. These are words, all right, that they'll use. Like, free. Anytime we hear free. Jay. Mm-hmm. L-O-B. Jay would take a free tampon. There's no question. Even if he, even if he had no wife, no daughters, no, he would. Is that free? I use it for earplugs. I'll take three of them. Yeah. If I ever have to, like, cotton swab something, I'll use it. I stick it up my nose, clean my boogers out. Yeah. Use different parts of it over and over.
So free gets us, okay? Yep. Also, limited time gets us. You say no, Woods. Nah, it doesn't do anything for me. Think Groupon, no? No. I've signed up for Groupon. I have never used one of them. I get them every day. So you get a daily deal and it says that it's only going to last every day. And I go, I tried to give Woods one that is very specific to something that he wants to do. That he told me. And it just happened to, of all the things in the world, pop up. And he goes, I don't know how to do that. I go, just click on the link and read the instructions. Could have saved him hundreds of dollars. Hundreds of dollars. Why? Don't you do it? Because I'm an idiot. Money back guarantee. will get you. That'll get me. So you'll buy something because you know if it doesn't work out, you get your money back. And they know you're too lazy to return it. That's my deal. Money back guarantee doesn't do anything for me because I know I'm not sending it back. I just ordered my third Bible cover. Third one. Because the first two didn't fit. I didn't send them back. Because I don't want to deal with it. I'll do it if I can have the money. I write bad reviews about them online.
You're that guy. You're the review writer. I need you. I need you to exist. Because without you, I really don't know what's up. But at the same time, I sort of despise you because you're writing them. I write them very to the point. Just the bad things you need to know. I don't get emotionally involved. You don't get personal. I don't get my emotions in there. Like about a radio show or something. This will also get you. Doctor recommended. No. Okay, wait a minute. You're on the market for an antacid and you're walking through CVS and it says doctor recommended. That does nothing for you? Look at price. Who are you talking to over here? She doesn't even use prescriptions that doctors give her. She thinks a doctor's prescription is an opinion. It's purely a suggestion. A suggestion. To her, a doctor is... About one block away from a witch doctor. They're as knowledgeable on that subject as it gets. Doesn't mean they're right. Yes. In my opinion. Well, the fact that a doctor may have gone to school for eight years to learn about the liver, let's say the liver, and he examines her liver, at the end of the day, it's his opinion. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. Okay. So in other words, she goes to the doctor.
And he says to her, yeah, there's no doubt about it. You have bronchitis. In her mind, that's an interesting opinion. Thank you. Mr. Johnson? No, it's Dr. Johnson. To me, you're Mr. Johnson. Allegedly. Mrs. O'Brien, we actually did a swab, tested it under a microscope, and found the cultures that say you have bronchitis. Well, first of all, it's Miss O'Brien, so let's not get carried away. Second of all... Excuse me for that. Sorry. Second of all... We assumed that you were married. Right. Because you're 30. I don't... Oh. And... Attractive. And attractive. And attractive. And attractive. And attractive. Well, now we're just getting personal, Doc. Yeah, I mean, you know, a beautiful 30-year-old. Your chart says... You're inappropriate. Sorry. Sorry. Excuse us. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. It's a fact. Right, Doctor? Do you concur? I'm looking at your chart and it says the cultures came back and you're positive for strep.
Well, I'm looking at my chart and I'd say that that's an interesting opinion. Well, we're going to write our opinion on this prescription note. And you can take it to CVS and fill it. And if you take the medication, you'll be over this in five days. And if you don't, you won't. I will take this. I will file it. And I'll go have some tea with honey. That's a true story. That's what she does. Lauren O'Brien, L.O.B., has a big thing. Full. Of prescriptions. Why I'm holding on to them, I don't know. Can I buy some of those from you? No, they expire. I think they're guessing anyway. Let me bring those in. I'll give you the yeast infection. Oh, my gosh. That's payback. How dare you. That's payback. How dare. He left. I thought I smelled bread baking. Ew. Jay. Jay. Too much. I don't really have one of those for the record. Well, if you did, we all know it wouldn't be medicated now. Woods said that and went into his coffin. I'm past the coffin. Well, that's what happened. You're under the dirt. You've been buried alive. That's what happens when Woods farts in the studio. It wasn't in the studio, mind you. Well, in the waiting common area. I have a burning in my loins right now. That really sent me into... Now I'm in purgatory.
You're in a hole and people are throwing dirt on you and you can still breathe. Oh, my God. And after they throw the dirt, they step on it to pound it down and compact it. You're like Nikki in Casino that just got beat with a bat and thrown it into a cornfield. Let that be a lesson to all the men in here. In your tidy whities. Doesn't bother me. My goodness. It's hideous. God, LLB. Here's another one that gets us. If something says new and improved. Mikey. Mikey. Depends. You need the latest version. Your depends when they're new and improved? If it's Apple and it's new and improved, done deal. Done deal. You know why? Because I know that if they say that, it is new and it is improved. Now, if Charmin says that, I'm really not that sure. I'll give it a shot. If it's toilet paper, I'll give it a whirl. It says new and improved? If it's toilet paper, I'm all the way in. If it's Apple juice, I'm not. Well, how would Apple juice ever say new and improved, though? Like Charmin can because they can make it softer. What are they going to do with Apple? Make it more Apple? Make it sweeter. Make it better for you. Okay. All right, you got me. Tastes more like an apple. Tastes more like an apple than previously. Right. Yeah. Does this one get you? Four out of five. No. Doesn't? Zero. No. You know why it don't get me? One dude says, BS. Yeah. Stuff is crap. Yeah, dude. One guy.
And listen, that guy's just as educated as the other dentists. So if four out of five dentists agree, the crust makes your teeth whiter. There's one dentist that goes, you know what, that stuff is a bunch of baloney. I'm more apt to buy one that says two out of five doctors agree. Because I go, you know what, that's honest. And I want that. Because I don't believe that four out of five really exist. Well, I believe that those first four were like, is it Crest? Yeah, that's good. I'll sign on it here. It's Crest. How much are you paid for this? I don't know what it is. Yeah, sure. It's like when you're doing a mortgage and you sign 58 pages of paperwork. It's like they brought that to those four dentists and they go, yeah, sure. Make your teeth wet. When Jay and I were on Wipeout, we signed paperwork for an hour straight. Speaking of Wipeout, guess who's on the line, ladies and gentlemen? Jill Wagner. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm doing fabulous. How are you doing? As soon as you said hi, Woods, who's sitting across from me, he winced in pain. Like, as if just your voice was bringing back memories of the pain that he endured. The pain that he endured. No, it was the other. It was the other? Yeah, I was blushing. Yeah. You were blushing. I'm starting to say, I'm supposed to be the...
I'm supposed to be helping them out? Yeah. She's a sweetheart. She's a little angel. Oh, well, trust me. I heard all about how hot they thought that you were. What? Well. What? I mean. We're married. I understand. I understand. I didn't mean to say hot. I heard all about how sweet you were. Beautiful. And by sweet, I mean hot. Yes. Lovely. Well, I'm blushing. Yes. But she's the hostess of the TV show Wipeout. And Woods and Jay are going to be on the TV show Wipeout coming up a week from today. And we're having a big viewing party at Dave and Buster's. So, Jill, what did you make of these two guys? Well, we'll talk about hot. I mean, let's talk about hot. Let's talk about hot. I don't think she remembers this. Both of them are married, right? Yeah. Who was hotter, Jay or Woods? Oh, God. Well, I would have to say, no, I can't do that. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. something up on the other one. I need it. We already do. I need it. I need it. I need to know who you thought was hotter. Should I flip a coin? No. No. Both of them are looking right... I'm going to tell you right now. They both want an answer from you. And I'm not kidding. They want it badly. They want it. They need it. You got it. They want it. The young guy or the old guy? I know how she felt. The younger guy or the... I told them. I told them how I felt. Yes. We don't need to just...
to shout it to the world. No, it's just to be our time. All right, fine. Yeah, exactly. I love them both equally. There you go. Now, in terms of, because you've been doing, how long have you hosted Wipeout? Four seasons. And the four seasons that you've hosted, was there something memorable about these guys? Did they stick out to you? Were they, I don't know, did they? How are you supposed to answer that? I mean, you can't really... No, actually, they were vapid, and there was nothing about them that really... I don't even remember either of them. That's what I would say. She meets so many people. I mean, there's so many episodes going on. I can't imagine she remembers even who we are. No, but you guys... How far did you guys get? I don't think we could say. Can they say? Are they allowed to say? Are they allowed to say? It hasn't aired yet. Sure. I mean, I have no idea. Go ahead. Say it. Well, we made it into the Wipeout Zone. Were they going to fire you? We made it to the Wipeout Zone. They made it into the Wipeout Zone. Yeah, so I would say they did better than 95% of the people that go on. True story. Okay, can I ask, Jill, have you ever, because, you know, I've watched Wipeout, and, you know, a lot of times the people that are on Wipeout, sometimes they're really attractive people, but sometimes they'll even have people that, you know, maybe are not so much. But what I want to know is, have you ever been interviewing a contestant and thought to yourself,
You know, like put yourself in Jeff Probst's shoes. He ended up dating a contestant. Have you ever seen a contestant that made you go hubba hubba? Besides us. Besides us. Maybe I would have felt that way, but most of the people that I interview have snot coming out of their nose. That's true. Almost throw up on me. That's true. They're bumping throughout the interview. What? Or dress like a bunny. Like, I don't. You know, it's just not maybe my type. Yes, I understand. And that makes sense. That actually makes sense. They're lovely. I might be able to refresh your memory on who we are exactly. As you were interviewing us for our pre-interview, you were interviewing us, and then off in the distance, there was a coyote that was running. And you stopped the interview, and you go, I think that's a, is that a fox?
Jay, the old guy, goes, that ain't the only fox I see. Just like that. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Wow. That ain't the only fox I see. Word hasn't been used since 1978. To describe a woman. To describe a woman. Worked well. And I was actually, that was, that turned me on. Yeah, it is. And there it is. He got you with that. Yeah, it's so funny because we're in the middle of the woods, and obviously there's all kinds of animals that come up. There's deer. There's cows that roam onto the set. But anytime it happens, I'm so unprofessional, and I'm like a little kid. I cannot break away from whatever animal it is to continue with the interview. I have to get it over with. They have to go rope the animal off the set, and then they're like, okay, she can pay attention. She was, man. She was like. Where is it going? It's running up the hill. Oh, what is that? Is it Fox? I'm fascinated. I'm a country girl, so I'm just fascinated by animals in general. Well, Jill Wagner is the host of Wipeout. And she is really, really pretty. And she is, you get to see her and Woods and Jay because they were on the show. And it's the last, it's her last season. Is that right, Jill? It's my last season, yeah. It's her last season.
So enjoy her while you can. And a week from today, Woods and Jay's episode airs on Wipeout, ABC's Wipeout. And we can't wait. And Jill, thank you for coming on. Oh, thank you guys for having me. And thanks for coming on Wipeout. Thank you for having us. It was so much fun. Thanks, Jill. All right. Bye, guys. We'll see you. I wanted to ask her about the craft services thing, but I didn't. What about it? How... All of a sudden, you guys saw the craft services roll out with these beautiful briskets and just wonderful salads and just all these wonderful silver trays and platters and antipastas and just all this different stuff. And they're going, man, imagine. Their mouths are watering like, wow, that looks good. And then they come out and they bring eight styrofoam containers for the contestants with stale chips. Doo-doo. A salad with those plastic condiment containers. And they're like, hey, guys, feast. Enjoy. The other food was for the staff. It was for the staff. It was for Jill and the crew. They're eating ice cream. It's fantastic. Let's do some TomTom tunes. Call us right now, 570-1949. All you have to do is tell us what the TomTom girl is saying to win. What can they win today, Jay?
We've got $40 in free gameplay at Dave and Buster. There you go. Give us a call now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out, like Friday night if you head to 4th and B. It'll be Johnny Votto's Boingo Dance Party. And next week on the 26th, a perfect circle hit the Open Air Theater at San Diego State. And next Friday, the 29th, is the first FM 94.9, 4 o'clock Friday at the Del Mar Racetrack with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. The Bell Brigade will play the belly up for $6 on August 2nd. That is our next About the Music show.
Transfer are at the Belly Up August 4th. And you can see Weezer doing a Saturday infield show at the Delmar Racetrack August 6th. And still to come this summer, Sia at House of Blues, Death Cab for Cutie, 311 and Sublime with Rome, Company of Thieves, Butthole Surfers. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now you can. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is backed. Save thousands on our entire fleet of pre-owned service loaners, like on a 2011 BMW 328 iSedan. Lease for only $249 a month plus tax. Only $249 a month. Or lease a 2011 BMW 335 iSedan for just $339 a month plus tax. Just $339 a month. Plus, you'll get the remainder of BMW's comprehensive four-year, 50,000-mile limited warranty and maintenance only at BMW Encinitas.
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Can't hear you. We're too busy being awesome. Late night happy hour at Dave & Buster's. The only place to eat, drink, and play. Go to DaveAndBuster's.com for details, hours, and locations. Your local mini dealers are offering some sweet deals right now. Lease the mini hardtop for just $1.99 a month or get financing as low as 0.9% on select 2011 mini models. And the bigger four-door mini Countryman offers starting MSRP under $23,000. But honestly, the real deal is to head in for a test drive. It won't cost a dime. Take the large and enjoy. charge countryman out for a spin or put your motoring skills to the test in the hard top visit mini of sdcounty.com to plan your mini cooper test drive grab two of any variety of standard size candy for two dollars until august 31st one at regular price at chevron extra mile extra easy extra value at select chevron locations This report brought to you by McDonald's, 42-ounce soft drinks. They're only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks. Now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. Looks like things are clearing up here on the 5 northbound Genesee Avenue. We had a sig alert. It's all canceled. Traffic is recovering. It is still backed up to Nobel Drive, though. Escondido on the 15 southbound after Valley Parkway, a car stuck in the center divider. And we're clearing an accident here on the 805 northbound after Claremont Mesa Boulevard. It was a motorcycle.
They've totally gotten it off the roadway. This report also brought to you by CarMax. Looking to sell your car? Take it into CarMax today. You'll get a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. It's good for seven days. CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. Wood. The best move you ever made. Footloose. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbors. On FM 94.9. Talking about off the air. We're probably driving LOB nuts because I'm not sticking to the schedule. But we were just talking off the air about the stuff that we did when we were kids that drove our parents nuts. And that we question, even now, we're like, why did that get them so mad? Like Wood said, it would drive his dad batty if he would eat food. Out of the time that it was supposed to be eaten. Insane. He'd go... He'd hear Woods and go... He'd hear this in the kitchen. What are you ripping? What are you tearing? Biscuits. It's a package of biscuits, Dad. Are you going to eat biscuits right now? Yes. Aren't biscuits for breakfast? Traditionally, yes, they are. But we don't have anything else. And my friend who's spending the night and I want a snack. So we are going to cook.
Hungry Jack biscuits and eat them. At 8 o'clock at night. Yep. To a T. That was it. He got irritated. Now, this one's good because everybody can relate to this. Everybody's dad would do this. Woods was having breakfast. Yeah, cereal. Having cereal for breakfast. There was nothing on TV. So Woods threw in a movie. It was Beverly Hills Cop. Just popped it in the VCR. Good choice. Dad comes in and says, you watching a movie? Woods goes, he goes, are you going to sit here for two hours and watch that? And you get the thinking. The thinking is, well, you're eating breakfast watching this, so. Why put a video in? Why put a video in? Right. And so what did you say? I go, no, when I'm done with this breakfast, I'm going to take the effing videotape out of it. And I'm going to hit stop. I'm going to press stop. I'm going to press stop.
My dad used to be real nitpicky about stuff like that. My dad. He's not at all anymore. He's as loose and laid back as he gets. I mean, they all get that way. With age, we all chill out. And you got some punk teenager kid who's coming in drunk at night. The funny thing is, I was eating that cereal for my breakfast. It was probably about 12.30 in the afternoon. So that's probably what pissed him off in the first place. I had just woken up. Ella B. and Woods, did you guys... Wake up late on the weekends? Oh, yeah. What time? 12.30, 1, 2. Holy crap. As a kid? Oh, yeah. L.O.B.? No, I was up watching Gummy Bears at like 6 a.m. Well, define what age. 15. Oh, noon to 1 to 2. I used to drive my mom. What time, L.O.B.? 10. Oh, God. Not noon. Never noon. If I slept till 10 o'clock on a Saturday, well, first of all, it would never happen. Are you kidding? Never. This was dad. No, this was dad. Bunk beds, right? Right. Bunk beds, this was the time when we were all living at home. He knows it's true. 8 a.m. This is the side of the bunk bed. Steve, get up. Get the lawnmower. Mike, bring the garbage cans to the front. Mark, get the rakes. I'll meet you guys in five minutes. Yard work. Every Saturday? Every Saturday. For a couple hours and you guys got to do your thing?
It was more than a couple of hours. Four hours. It felt like indentured servantry. Yeah. I felt like we should have been wearing either an orange jumpsuit. Chained together. Yes. It was the bane of my existence. I hated it more than anything. You don't even look forward to the weekend. Let me tell you, man. No, you dreaded the weekend. You dreaded the weekend. Tell me how guys can relate to this. Can you relate to picking up leaves and twigs and your arms getting scratched as you put stuff into a big black bag? We use a sheet to do it. What do you mean? Oh, you put it all on the sheet? Break it onto the sheet. And make it like a hobo and then go, because my parents live on like one and a half acres, go far, far back and then dump it.
Holy cow. My brother, when I went away to college, took the brunt from both of my parents. My dad would cut the grass. And my dad used to make my brother go pick up rocks in the yard so that when my dad was mowing the grass, it wouldn't hit the rocks. So my brother, instead of mowing the grass, had to go out and pick up the rocks. I was on dog poo duty. That's Liberty. Liberty? Liberty's on dog poo. Finn is now the mower. And I'm weed whack. And Jasper walks around the yard and picks up big clumps of grass and throws them into the. Which is really, he's not doing anything. Not yet. He's just still in the learning phase. But they hate it. But yeah, my kids sleep till about two. Two in the afternoon. Oh, yeah. What time are they going to bed? Sometimes I get up to leave for work. And Finn's still in there going, hey, man, what's going on? Oh, my goodness. That's a different existence. 345 in the morning. Just up. I was just staring at Jay with my jaw dropped open. My dad, well, first of all, my dad's ex-military. Certain things we do with our kids and we don't even think about it. We just think, well, that's the way I was raised and so that's the way I'm going to do it. All I know is that my kids are not sleeping. Come on. No. Let them sleep. It's good for them. They're supposed to sleep. They're growing. Get up.
Oh, boy. Well, when they get up, give them chores, but let them sleep a little bit. Yeah. When you get up. I did chores, but I did them until 5 o'clock. 8. 8 a.m. Get up. Why? Because you're not. This isn't. What are you? What are you? A drill sergeant? You're a kid. What are you, lazy? What do they got to do? You're lazy? Here's the way it should work. Hey, when you get up, this is what you got to do before you go anywhere. Yeah, before you do at it. And then it's up to them. Then you're teaching them responsibility. He's going to freaking do it. He's going to wake them up at 8. Yeah, why would you do that? I don't understand. It's like, what are you trying to prove? Because my dad did it. Your dad did it. You SOB, dude. You're going to do the same thing. Getting woke, that makes the whole rest of your day ruined. That's how you wake up. Discipline, man. 7 a.m. I mean, if you're going to have to do something and go somewhere, but if they're just on their own, just let them do it. What, are you just lazy? You're going to sleep till noon? Yeah, I'm tired. They're up till 4 a.m. Are you smoking joints? No, I was French kissing a girl. Yeah. Get up. Remember that? Oh, boy. That's weak. It is not you're doing it because your dad did it. My dad did it too. My parents did it. We all do stuff because our dads did it. I kicked it. There's no way. Let's do this. Let's do some Tom Tom tunes. Tom Tom girl, how you doing?
I'm doing good, Mikey. Sorry. What's the matter with you? A little case of the J. A little case of the J's. Oh, the J. Some marbles in my mouth. Yes, I understand. Well, Tom Tom girl, did you go out to opening day, wear a hat? Yes, I'm a little fuzzy now. Did you drink? No, I had no beverages, Mikey. Meth? Do I have to answer that, Mikey? Boy, I was joking. I didn't think that you would actually do methamphetamine. You're a GPS device. I can't help but lands on my buttons. Okay, well, M1 face for radio from Miramar, how are you? I'm good. How are you doing on this, the day of your father's birthday? I am doing well this day of my father's birth. Excellent. Now, let's do this. The TomTom girl is going to read you some lyrics. You've got 20 seconds to give me title or artist to win. AJ, what will he win today? He is going to win a four-pack, or no, a pair of tickets to SeaWorld. There you go. A pair of tickets to SeaWorld. And go ahead, TomTom girl. I am he as you are, he as you are, me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun. See how they fly. I am crying.
Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come. Corporation T-shirt. Stupid bloody Tuesday. Okay. Can you give me title or artist for the win? I think she might have said the title in there. She didn't. No? No. All you need is, you can give me the band or you can give me the song. Beatles? Oh, look at you. Look at you, dude. Wow. That was pretty rad. Is that Lennon or McCartan? Lennon. Rebecca's mom says that during the Beatles, when the Beatles came out, her dad could not have been more disgusted. My grandfather. Was disgusted by the Beatles? Same thing. Disgusting, long-haired, like girls. Yeah. Long-haired, like girls. Disgusted by them. Yep. Like thought that they were the height of just everything that was wrong with America. That's how you know they were great.
The old people hated them. Hang on the line, will you? Of course. You won. Let's go to M1G from RS Ranch. 4S Ranch, sorry. Doing good, dude. Are you ready to play this? I'm ready to go, man. All right, title or artist from the TomTom Girl starting now. Dig, if you will, the picture of you and I engage it in a kiss. The sweat of your body covers me. Can you, my darling, can you picture this? Dream if you can a courtyard and Oceana violets in bloom. Animals strike curious poses. They feel the heat, the heat between me and you. I just need the artist or the name of the song and you win. Oh, man, I know. Can you say it one more time? She'll give you five seconds. I'll give you a five second. How can you just leave me standing alone in a world that is so cold? Maybe I am just too demanding. Title? Or artist? Maybe I'm just like Prince. Yes. You got it. There you go. All four foot eight of them just standing there in that purple suit. Yeah. Such a good song. Never saw the movie Purple Rain. Did you see it? Oh, yeah. The dumb? Yeah. Great soundtrack. Yeah, that song Purple Rain's a good one. Oh, yeah. Hang on the line, okay? M1G? Yeah. You guys have a great day. Thank you. You're a winner. Hang on.
M1 Carl from San Diego. You ready? What's up, Eddie? 20 seconds starting now. Brass monkey, that funky monkey. Brass monkey junkie, that funky monkey. What is it? Brass monkey. That is correct, actually. That is brass monkey. That's right. It's a great album. License to Ill is incredible. Iconic. Iconic. Iconic. Iconic. Iconic. Somebody shoots a gig. That's the most work you've done in a long time. Fair enough. Can you not like License to Ill, dude? How? Oh, wow. Crazy. You're crazy. Am I? Yeah. Shtick rock. Shtick rap. Shtick? Git. Oh, my gosh. Shtick. Iconic. Shtick. You're weird. Woods does not like music to have an element of fun. Nope. Not, it doesn't, like, it can't even.
Like if you smell something and you go, is there vanilla in there? Woods cannot vaguely smell fun. It's like Weird Al to me. He needs all angst. Listening to the Beastie Boys is like listening to Weird Al. Same paradigm in my head. What? True statement. You're nuts. It's a true statement. This is the biggest area of disconnect. Do you have friends like this? That with that music, that genre of music, they just, they cannot. We'll play a song that's meant to be funny. And Woods gets angry because he believes that they're being serious and it's stupid. Music is no joke. Yeah, it's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke to him. Music is serious. It's a serious shit. No, it's fun. It's not fun. It's not. It should be serious. It should make you cry or angry. Yes. It should make you bleed. Bleed. You gotta bleed for your music. Bleed. Those guys don't bleed for their music. Shtick. He's doing bits. Tonight's 8 o'clock album.
Is the Foo Fighters. Garrett. Wasting Light. It's a good album. It is. Follow us on Twitter. Mikey Show. Mikey. Mikey Show Woods. Mikey Show. Lauren. Mikey Show Jay. Let's see. Now. This was a serious study. The study was conducted. And reported on. It says there's a note here that says note content. The content is a little spicy. This was on the Today Show. It was a hard hitting expose. Investigating why. Men like boobs. True story. Well, we're back now with more of our special series, Breast Obsessed in America. This morning, today, national correspondent Amy Roebuck has the male perspective. Hi, Amy. That's right, Savannah. Good morning. Often accused of speaking to a woman's chest rather than her face, men seem a bit fixated when it comes to women's breasts. So where does this obsession come from? Well, I set out to get inside the male mind.
Regardless of what they may call them, men have a certain something for a certain part of the female anatomy. What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts. Actually, I can't think of it. More than half of men we polled consider themselves a so-called breast man. So what is it about a woman's chest that turns men into, well, boobs? It feels like a bag of sand. Are you touching it? Bag of sand? The fixation on breasts. Starts with this evolutionary theory, which is that if a woman is curvier, it means she's more fertile. A lot of it has to do with men being visual creatures. And also this idea that... Is... Could that be true? Duh. Really? Mm-hmm. See, I always thought it was like a mommy thing. Like we learned it from a young age because we breastfed. No. No? Child burn hips.
to us, it becomes alluring. To get inside the male mind, I had to go to the belly of the beast. That's right, the ultimate man cave. Here at Hooters, breasts are big business. The company averages about a billion dollars in sales annually. And it's no secret the reason many men come here, the customer service. How would you describe a typical Hooters role? I mean, you have the attractiveness, that's obviously... You said attractiveness? How did I do that? You did not. Hey, Woods. Yes. I think I just had an epiphany. Okay. You know how you and I talk about how we differ on boob jobs? Yes. Okay. My thing with boob jobs is I'm fine with boob jobs as long as I can't tell it's a boob job. Okay. If it looks like a girl just has big boobs, that's cool. But if it looks... obvious. For instance, we saw somebody this weekend and it was just obvious. You know, it was, they were so large and looked like if you were to go up to them, it would go, okay. Now, let me ask you a question. And LOB makes, LOB says that she's flat. She's not. She's actually, no, you're not. You're actually not. Flat means you don't have any boobs. You do. You do. So here's my question though. Here's my question, Woods.
You don't like flat, right? Right. But a girl with an obvious boob job is flat. She was flat. Well, that's what I think gets me. She's a flat girl. If it's obvious, then that's really what she is. But see, sometimes they could have been like a B and they wanted a C. So I'm in on that. They could have been, one could have been disproportionate. You know, that happens. I've seen that before. All the time. Seen that before. A few times. Do you like it? If it's disproportionate, no. Okay. Well, then you're looking at that. Every time you see a girl with the obvious ones. No, I'm not. I'm looking at a work of art. No, no, no. A sculpted. You're looking at a chick. A sculpted. You're looking at a true flatso. No. Flatso. Not in my mind. In my mind, I'm thinking, mamacita. See, I think that that's the deal. That's the deal. That's no epiphany. They're all good. Doesn't work for me. I don't like when it looks like there's a piece of latex stretched with a big hard rock under it. So it looks painful. I wish I could understand what it is about those real obvious fake ones that you think is cool. Because to me, it's so obvious. All I can think in my head is, here's my epiphany, all I can think in my head is, oh, you had some malformation.
That you're correcting. Or you had some money to get this thing. I don't think it's about, I don't think it's like, oh, I had money to do it. It looks like, oh, you're a flatso. I never think of him as flatso. I think of him as C-cups. We'll send us pictures and we'll judge. Oh boy, oh boy. Well, we'll finish this because it's not done. It's going to describe why do we like breasts. And we're going to play, that's a true statement. Oh, wow. M94.9. Just $3.39 a month. Plus...
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Move the world. All right. The 163 northbound Friars Road, an accident there. It's a school bus and a car. They're on Friars Road on ramp to the 163. No injuries, but it is partially blocking the road. A ladder causing delays on the 78 eastbound at Barham Drive. It's in the third lane from the left. And as you head into Escondido, the 15 southbound after Valley Parkway, a car stuck in that center divider. This report brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy. cold drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. We call it Live in July. So, if somebody can tell me what this is. And I don't know who to go to. I think I'm supposed to go to an orthopedic surgeon. There's a bone jutting out of my right shoulder. It sticks up like a lump. And it hurts really bad. And when I move it, you can hear crunching. You can't, because I can't get close enough to the mic. But you hear crunching in my shoulder. And I don't know who to see about it.
Like, what do you see? You go to a doctor? Orthopedic. Go to a chiropractor. No. Go to an orthopedic. They'll pop you right back in. Core orthopedic, pal. Go there. He's not an MD. Go to my guy. He'll hook you right up. Will. Yeah. Well, sometimes you can't do much with you. What you do. Go to core orthopedic. They'll take care of you. It's right by the house. Make it right. Fix my ankle up. I don't think you can just go there without a doctor's referral. Go to a doctor. I just referred him. I thought so. I just referred you. You're a doctor. I went straight to the orthopedic for my ankle. Yeah, I didn't go to a doctor first. I'm going to do that. Went straight to the orthopedic. With Hooters leading the way, the restaurant industry is booming. New franchises like the Tilted Kilt and Twin Peaks are offering... I didn't know Tilted Kilt was a franchise. Yeah. ...good food with a side of sex appeal. Safe to say, men here can get a little distracted. I've had one guy walk into a table looking at a girl. I don't know, who brings you in? You. I'm Tasia. Josh, when a man comes in, he's talking to you. Do you ever see his eyes go right there? Sometimes. And I just kind of go, hi, here. Oh, boy. Okay, I want to ask a question to a big-breasted woman. All right, me too. Not creepy questions. Genuine questions.
My question is, does it offend if a guy looks at your boobs? And is there an amount of time that he's allowed to take a glance, but then it becomes rude? In other words, okay, if you take a quick glance, yes. If I see your eyes go down and look and then come back up, that's okay. But if you look longer than just a peak, okay. And then the other question that I have is, Is he allowed to do that more than once? Woods is doing it right now. Oh, I'm glad you asked, Mike. Oh, wait. L-O-B. Oh, wait. So, would anybody like to volunteer to answer these questions? Would anybody? You've got a couple to pick from. Well, they have to volunteer.
I will not call anyone out, but that we do have a live studio audience and I want to ask. Well, then they volunteer and you say, no, I meant, I mean, bigger than that. Oh, wow. Setting yourself up. No. Let's go. Come and ask. Come and tell. I'm one lush. Yeah. All right. So here's my question. Do you catch guys doing the thing where they look? Yeah. And honestly, I prefer if you just kind of stare rather than like, you know, do the pretend. It's actually kind of funny. Because if they do the quick thing, it's almost like they're trying to get away with something and you'd rather that they just come clean. Precisely. Precisely. It's like, yeah, you're looking at my... I wonder if that is how girls feel. I just try to wear sunglasses as much as I can and then that way I can kind of do what I want to do. Well, it's an exercise in self-control for a guy. Right. Which, I mean, you know, I don't have a whole hell of a lot of it. I try to not be a...
Weirdo creep. You don't really succeed. Not at all. Exactly. I try, though. It's in me to try now, which it never was before. Now it's in me to try. I'll do the look away bit, and I'm like, why am I looking away? I'm not gay. I like women. Yeah, and they put them out there. Yeah, they're throwing them out there at you, Mike. They want you to see them. Yeah, there's a lure in the water. And that's a question I have as well. I wonder if a girl has big boobs and she's wearing something that shows cleave. Then aren't you... She can't help it. Oh, she can too. She cannot. I hide my turtleneck every day. Come on over. Not very well. A turtleneck in July? A turtleneck! Okay, may I... She's big breasts. She's big breasts. I'm leaving. I like where this shows up. I'm leaving. May I ask you questions? Yes. Okay. You gotta pull that microphone over. Oh, this way? Yes. Okay. Do you find it offensive if a guy does the glance and you catch him? Well, no. Because... I mean, they're big, so they're there. I'm aware that they're there. So the look and then the look away, I mean, I understand. You don't fault him. You don't think to yourself, what a jerk. How rude. You don't think that. And with the shirt thing, I mean, every shirt I wear is a boob shirt. What if women came up to us and looked straight at our wieners and looked up at our face? What do you do? You do? Yeah!
I love it, then. Oh, my gosh. The girls in the room. They're nodding. We know what's happening. Oh, my gosh. Really? You guys do that? We're looking for some sort of outline. Oh, wow. So, I hope you all walk around self-conscious now. Wiener time. Immediately self-conscious. Congratulations. Not me. Have you seen my wiener? Stoked. Me either. Praying mantis. Lobster. You silly sausage. Husky pencil. Minus the husky. Pipe cleaner. I'll show it to you right now. I know you will. Mike, are you familiar with a product called Slim Jim? You are. Okay, so if the guy does the quick glance, it's okay. Right, but prolonged staring is rude.
Prolonged staring is rude. That's two differing opinions. I still don't know what to do. Yeah. The best thing is to... Now, let me ask you this. Oh, another girl has an opinion. Come on over. What do you think? I agree with Melissa. That if he stares... A quick stare is fine, but if you're going to be like... Right, right. Well, but what you just did was like appearing. That's what Jay would do. That's what Jay would do. Right. Look at the fun bags on that horse hound. Yes. And I don't know. When people look at me, I'm just like... Your name is Melissa? Yes. Okay, Melissa. Pull the mic over. I got a question. Yes. Yes, Mike. I'm sure that you have encountered all different types of guys. Yes. And you've probably encountered the guy that looks at your breasts while he's talking to you. Yes. Now, that guy is fascinating to me on this level. How can you have such a low social IQ that you don't catch yourself talking to someone? while looking at their breasts. I think that that person, like, I go, what's the matter with you? Sex pervert. You're a sex pervert and you don't get it. You don't get it. I have a friend that does, Mikey knows this friend, his name's Bark Malman. He does the look up and down when he first meets somebody. He will meet, stand up. He'll do that. Yes, he does. He'll walk up and go like that. The hole from toe to top of head. Bark Malman is...
I love him. He's great. He's the only guy that I've ever caught looking my wife up and down. That's a true story. And when he does, he puts his hand like this. Like holding a cigarette. Yeah. He puts his hand up to his chest and he goes, I don't know what that is. Yeah, I don't know. The little, whatever that is. Like he's throwing dice. Like he's throwing dice. Don't know what it is. Okay, so you've had the guy that does that. Yes. Now that guy bothers you. Yes. Well, that would make anyone uncomfortable. Right. But the quick glance is fine. I mean, there's just no hiding it. There's no hiding it. Yes. So the quick glance is fine. It is what it is. All right. That helps. I try to focus on the eyes. Sometimes it's not the easiest thing to do. It is not an easy thing to do because we're not wired that way. We're not wired to do that. We're wired to motorboat is what we're wired to do. And sometimes you just can't. You're married. You know, you can't motorboat. M1 Dan from San Diego. Hello. Hi.
I grew up in a very, my father was a plastic surgeon, retired now, but he grew up like, hey, kids, do you think she's had a breast augmentation? Do you think that's a good job? Let me show you. And so we were taught, like, looking at good boobs, good facelifts. We kind of would say, hey, Dad, you know, I bet you could give her a breast lift over there. And he'd go, yeah, that would, you know. You're like, Dad, it's not always about work. Always have to talk about work. And yet we learned how to be quick with our glances. And my wife has always said, you know, you don't look at women. And I'm like, yeah, I don't. Don't I? Don't I? Because I guess growing up, we've always had that learn to look quickly but not stare, but then be able to recognize beauty in its, you know, natural or enhanced form. Thank you. Thank you. It's wonderful. I like to look. And if no one can tell, I like to steal a touch. Yeah, every now and then. It's called a graze. I'll just graze a boob from time to time. Nobody knows. Oh, excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry about that. I was just reaching for the hot sauce here at Chipotle. I was reaching for the stack of melons. I mean, shoot. Oh, no.
I'm sorry, I was reaching for that InTouch magazine. Can you hand it to me? One right in front of your left breast, please. I have an idea for a restaurant. Jay, careful, careful. Just come on. Tramp O'Leans, and it's girls on trampolines jumping. Tramp O'Leans. And the guys are the waiters. You sit around the table. It's pretty good. Just keep letting him go, please. A bit more. Tramp. Flesh it out. Flesh it out. Girls on trampolines in bikinis. Thank you, Jay. That's Jason R. Jump it up and down. Jason R. Isbell. You might have patented that today. Once again, everybody, it was Tramp. Olean. If you missed it. M1 Renee from San Diego, are you there? I'm here. Hey, guys. Hi. Hi. So if someone looks too long, what happens?
I'm okay with somebody checking it out once, but if I'm trying to have a conversation with somebody and they keep looking, I'll just snap in front of their eyes and say, hey, my eyes are up here. You will actually say that? I will actually say that, yes. Because I have some boobage, and so I'm used to people looking, but it irritates me if they look too long. Listen, if a guy is looking at your boobs when he's talking to you, there's something wrong with him, like he drives a van. Yeah, totally. Total creeper, man. He drives a white van. He stares. He's a creep. Yes. How big are they? Jay. I'm just trying to get an idea, you know. If that's the truth, then men in business suits all drive vans as well. It's true. It's every guy does it. Stares too long. Can't stare. Can't stare. No, L.O.B. Every guy does not talk and, like, look. Like, that's so creepish. Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it. Guys of all walks of life. True. Yes. Does it mean that they're... some sort of sex pervert, it means that they have a low social IQ. I love the guys from another country that it's not in bad form that say, excuse me, but I have to tell you, you have wonderfully supple, beautiful breasts. Yeah, that's true. Are they saying that to you? No, they say... Oh. Ow. Ouch. Ow. When did that happen? They are nice. Did that happen on the beach or just Legoland?
Yes, Lauren. It happened to me at Legoland. What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? All right, Jay! Have you ever said the phrase, my eyes are up here, or do you not do that, Melissa? I think I'm more reserved than that, but I do get the, are you done? Yes. Oh, my God! I'm mortifying. Can you imagine if somebody goes, are you done? I've never gotten the... No, I don't do that. I don't do that. Like, I think you've got to be really bizarre. You've got to be a little more sly about it, guys. Yeah. 570-1949. Sometimes you can't help it, though. Sometimes I catch myself, like... Wiener gazing real good? No, boobs. They're just, like, there all of a sudden. I'm like, oh, there they are. You're a girl. And it is weird if you just stared at them and talked to them. No, but sometimes I get caught looking where I wasn't, like, looking to be a pervert. The difference between a glance and staring.
We're talking about talking to somebody and somebody's staring at your chest. I just think it's awkward, though, when you start at the boobs and then your eyes go up to meet theirs and they're, like, shaking their heads. That's happened to you? I've gotten the... I look at the chest, then I meet their eyes, then they cover themselves up. I'm like, I wasn't... I just... It happened. I'm not a whore, Lauren. I'm not a whore. It happened. You know what? I'm not a piece of meat. Something shiny caught my eye and looked over and there they were. Yeah, their breasts. I'm sorry. Okay? M1 Sally from San Diego. Hey. Hi. What are you guys doing? I just wanted to say that most, I mean, starting from puberty, most girls that are big chested will have a big chest starting from puberty around like 12 years old. Yeah. I think after a while you just get used to it and you find that most men, they just kind of do the quick, they're looking at your eyes when you're talking and then they do like a quick glance down and look back up. And I can say that most men do this, even like. Your boss, your co-worker, everyone does it. It's just really subtle and it's small and you get used to it after a while. But the interesting thing that I find is it actually kind of gives you a good gaydar. Because if you're talking to someone who's like, if you have a friend for a long time and you notice that that person has never done it, and then later you find out they're gay, it's like, oh, I get it. Well, I try not to do it. And I'm as straight as they come, but I try not to do it because I don't want it.
You don't want your mind to wander. I want my mind wandering. But sometimes, well, I will say this, though. Sometimes breasts can be like if somebody's wearing a very bright T-shirt. And if they walk up, you go, oh, my goodness. Oh, hi there. Those are big boobies. Isolate. Woods has been looking since they've been 12, though. Yes. Yeah, which is weird. Well, when I was 12, I was looking. I'm a boob guy. I always have been. Speaking of big-breasted women, my wife just walked in, so that's perfect. And you're just talking about this. Yeah, you're reminding Lauren that his wife just walked in. He did say in front of his wife, oh, yeah. When we talked about 12 girls developing for the first time, his wife was sitting there. She's over there. She's red in the face. Oh, yeah. Are you a student or do you work? Melissa, full time student, because I would say at the workplace, it's probably even more of an issue. I had a girl that was on my team at my last job, had the biggest boobs that you have ever seen and insisted on wearing low cut dresses. And I mean, I would have to do when I would talk to her. I'd have to be writing stuff because they hang out and you're like, oh, boy, with this. Is that the one that you had to talk to and say you got to change? Yep. She's wearing like poor dresses to work and slept with a couple of guys.
I worked with. Okay, you didn't need to... That was another thing. The dress fits. Yeah, the dress fits. I'm sure you described it differently when you had to talk with her. I did. Hey, listen, Jocelyn, you can't wear the whore dresses anymore. And you can't be sleeping with all of my sales staff. Yeah, you can't sleep with all the sales staff anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a policy. It's not a playground. This is a place of business. It's a place of real serious business. That's right. All right. I'm reaching into that's a true statement, Cup. Oh, boy. I'm scared. I'm going to pull out something, and then we've got to say whose it is. This one says, Every girl that does duck face pictures has daddy issues. Who wrote it? Hello, baby. I don't believe it. Duck face looks good, and that's why they do it. Blue Steel. I see the duck face from people who... are promiscuous. Really? And I think every girl that's promiscuous has daddy issues. I would do the duck face because it's slimming. Yes. Yeah, it's slimming. Slimming? Yeah. Let me see you do the duck face. Oh, wow. Where is your van parked? I think that just looks ghastly. Well, I'm a guy, dude. Yeah. Okay, so I look skinnier if I do this.
Ooh, that's hot. Oh my gosh. I'm in. I'm sold. I thought you had the duck face in your hat picture. Yeah, you did. Take a picture of her doing that. Didn't that look kind of cool? Yeah. Okay, I'll tell you my true statement about every girl that does duck face looks hotter. I believe that every girl that does duck face looks hotter. You're a good looking girl. You did the duck face. I'm like, whoa, take a picture of that. It's pretty good. Oh, man. I think it... implies something. What does it imply? Look at my big lips. What if they got great lips? Where would you like these big lips? Oh boy, you are a dirty sex pervert. That's what I think when I see a picture like that. Sex pervert. That's a true statement. Women who run for president are wasting their time and money? That's a true statement. That must have been Siena's, I think. Do we even have to ask? We know exactly. Prove me wrong. Name one. He's right. Name one. He's right. Lauren O'Brien, you're looking at me right now like I just admitted to slapping a chihuahua. Okay.
His prove me wrong by name one. OK, well, 10 years ago, he could have written all African-Americans or all. OK, all black people that run for president are wasting their time just because there hasn't been one. Wait, wait, wait. I wouldn't have said that before Obama. I mean, I would have said I would not have said that before Obama. I wouldn't have said this country is not going to have a black president. But this is his. His reasoning is name one. No, no, no. Also, my reasoning is I did a little research. Okay. I'm not just going to come in here half-cocked, okay? Okay, okay. I noticed that Hillary Clinton, when she ran for president, spent upwards of $300 million to run for president. That's a waste of time and money. She's wasted her time. Sarah Palin, waste of time and money. Absolutely. She's still in the spotlight. But can I tell you why... Great, but she's not the president. She hasn't run for president yet. Let me tell you why I think Woods is right. Because I think that even women agree with it. Not this woman. Not this one. Not this woman. But my wife will tell you. She goes, I feel more comfortable if it's a guy. Mine too. I am not going to vote for a woman president. Most likely. So it's a waste of time and money. Most likely. But there's plenty of people that would. It's not a waste of time and money. Well, you should have said. I like that. It's absolutely a waste of time and money. If you're not going to win, it's a waste of time and money. I haven't seen from the.
One candidate that I've seen that's run in my time, in my voting time, I wasn't happy with what she had to offer. Doesn't mean I won't ever. I'm just saying, wasn't happy with that one. I'm saying to now, it's been a waste of time and money. If it happens today, it's a waste of time and money. I totally agree with that. Hey, listen. I believe that people... Ella B's all up in arms. She agrees. She agrees. She agrees. She agrees. She agrees with you. I do not. You just said! She said she wouldn't vote. She said I won't vote for a woman. I did not. Listen, it's supposed to be salacious. I believe it, though. I think you're right. Any women agree with that? Jay, do any women agree? You don't agree? Lush agrees. You agree? I agree with the statement that from this point back, There's no one. But I'm not saying that that couldn't happen in the future. Anything's possible. He said every woman. I think that at some point, I think women are more intelligent and more organized than men. Shut me down. That's it. That's over. And they also have really nice cans, so it's going to be great in office. I am in my coffin. What a kiss-ass he is. I'm trying to get him to break. Hey, listen. I believe women are smarter.
And better at everything. Absolutely. And I just really believe that women are the key to life. That's right. They are. But, yeah, all the time. There's a luxury movie theater coming to San Diego. Now, this could be one of those places where you could buy booze, food, that whole thing. We'll tell you all about it. Make some noise with our live studio audience. How's our chance? Let's do it. More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of this. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. So where's the best place to be this summer? Oh, I can answer that. Out front, leading the way with Ford during the best place to be sales event. Ford's only the best selling brand in America. Cars, trucks, SUVs, crossovers, everything you'd expect from a leader. They've got the Explorer, the brand new Focus, the Fiesta, the Fusion, the Taurus, all with innovative technology. Sync.
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Tomorrow. Boars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men. Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death? In America. We're in. Let's go. Critics agree. Captain America rocks. Here they come! It's the wildest ride of the summer. What made you so special? Nothing. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Captain America. The first Avenger. In 3D. With a future 13. Video inappropriate for children under 13. Starts tomorrow. Ollie wrote an opus about mythical creatures named Ollie Gators. That's right, Ollie Gators. And he needed a super ink to print his masterpiece, so he bought an original HP ink cartridge. They print up to two times the pages than generic refills, so every page was artfully printed. Just what he needed for the greatest novel ever written. About Ollie Gators. Original HP ink cartridges print up to two times the pages than refilled cartridges. Find them at a retailer near you. HP. Hit print. Based on a Byers Laboratory, Inc. 2011 study commissioned by HP on the performance of cartridges refilled by refill service providers sold to North America. Today, I'm putting a BMW 3 Series to the test on the highway. Let's see what she's got. More power than ever, check. Hold on, toll booth coming up. What's more fun than paying money just so you can keep on driving? Same's true with maintenance costs. You see, most luxury cars have to go through a toll booth of sorts with every service visit. And those tolls can cost you up to thousands. Like the poor guy in front of me. Oh, that can't be fun. But not BMW.
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In San Diego are going to be getting one of these luxury movie theaters. Now, When my wife and I and Woods and his wife were out in Phoenix, we went to one called IPIC. And if you've never been to one of these places, it's pretty incredible. So I guess tomorrow they're opening one at the Highlandstown Center in Del Mar. It's right off Del Mar Heights Road. And here's the deal with these things. It's a movie theater with a reclining leather chair. So you're watching Harry Potter.
In a reclining leather chair, you can order sushi, chocolate-covered popcorn at the press of a button. Whoa, wait. You're liking that? A button. That's what the IPIC didn't have, the press of the button. Yeah, they had a server. Right. Either way, though, you've got to deal with a server. A server's going to come. It's fair enough. And that was the drawback. I like the button option a little better, don't you? Sure. It means that if you don't want food, you don't have to deal with it. Right. But somebody around you is going to want food, and so you've got to deal with it either way. It's true. You know, because somebody's going to want it. At least they're not, like, popping in the, how's that? Yeah. How are those sliders? All in all, it's a pretty awesome experience. It's pretty awesome. Now, close to $7 million was plugged into what used to be the old... Ultra Star Cinema to do this new luxury deal. And it's supposed to be pretty nice. And they're going to open another one in La Costa. They're starting here. Then they're going to do another one in La Costa. But this is going to be the tipping point, I think. Because the logical step to me is to watch movies at your house.
You know, brand new movies at your house. Absolutely. They get released and you get to watch them at home. There's no way, though. You want the giant screen. I mean, I wouldn't go see like a comedy, but like Harry Potter. I mean, that's amazing to see on a big screen. And now, I don't disagree. I mean, I love movies and especially big blockbusters. There's nothing like the experience of seeing them on a giant screen. But man, Jay, if you had the option. you wouldn't get Harry Potter at home just laying in bed and you can just order it? No, the big screen. I mean, like Inception, just the way the whole building. I mean, it looks good on your TV, but it's not the same. See, now that's a perfect example to me because I think he's right. Inception was incredible to see at the movie theater, but I have it on Blu-ray and it looks pretty dynamite to me at home. So you could almost name any movie I'd watch at home.
There's no question. There's nothing I would have to see in the theater. I don't want to deal with teenagers. Right. Talking and clowning around. Uh-huh. Yep. I don't. There's always jack holes. Always. It's expensive. It's really expensive. I don't like peeing at a movie theater. Nope. And you always have to. Always. And you can't pause it because you have a keg of Dr. Pepper. Yeah. And you have to pee. You miss a movie. Yeah. What don't you like about peeing there? You paid $40 for the Dr. Pepper, by the way. A quarter more and you get the extra large. Why don't you want to do it? You cheapskate. It's only a quarter more. Yeah. Fine. Give me the freaking large, then. I'll take it. Not if you bring it in your purse. Why do I not like to pee at a movie theater? Mm-hmm. Well, a couple of reasons. One, they're old and they creep me out. This will be brand new, though. Okay. The other one, though, is during the movie. I can't pause it. Right. Yeah. I know. I don't drink that much during a movie for that specific reason. It's perfect. What I like to do is I jog 36 miles before I go in. And that way, yeah, I have one bottle of water before I walk in. I'm hydrated. Right. And I bring the bottle of water in. I ain't going to pay for it. It's $7. Plus, I'll smoke brisket and I'll take that in. I'll stuff brisket in my pocket. Sure. Also, I've trained my bladder to withhold about four liters. That's right.
I have a special kind of bladder that's... Y'all wouldn't get it. Y'all wouldn't understand. They say alcohol is only allowed in theaters one and two at this new theater. But alcohol is available for people over 21 in those particular theaters. Which is kind of cool. I mean, you're sitting there, you could order a beer. When we were at the one in Phoenix, it looked like a Vegas nightclub. Yeah. It really did. It looked like a Vegas nightclub. And you'd be at your seat. There were people that were in there ordering gin and tonics and martinis and stuff like that. So it's either the way that it's going to go or eventually something's got to give. This is a crazy story, man. There's a guy that is extraordinarily rich. Lives in Abu Dhabi. And he's a sheik. And what he did was have workmen scour into the sand. His name, Hamad. And it stretches over two miles across. Imagine that. Two miles across. This is story of the day. Lifted straight from news of the day. Let's talk to this mega rich sheik.
Mr. Hamad. Is this Mr. Hamad? Yes, it is. Hello, Mr. Hamad. How are you? What's that? I'm doing great. Listen, so you're 63 years old. Oh, yes, I am. Very rich. Very rich. And you spent $14 billion to do this. And change. And you're from the United Arab Emirates. Is that correct? Can you repeat that for me? No, no, no. I mean, can you repeat United Arab Emirates? Thank you very much. Not bad. It's the one voice that he does pretty good. When men and women are on an elevator together, who should get out first? Seems like a logical answer, correct? Absolutely. We'll talk about it.
Make some noise with our live studio audience we have in here. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Do you find yourself staring whenever a Jeep vehicle drives by? Do you wonder where it's been? Where it's going next? Do you say to yourself, someday, when the time is right, that's going to be me? Say hello to someday. Now you can get great deals on the new Jeep vehicle of your choice, including the newly designed Compass, the newly refined Patriot, the versatile Liberty, the iconic Wrangler, and the most luxurious and capable Grand Cherokee ever. It's time for other people to wonder where you're going next in your new Jeep vehicle. Now, at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event. For the first time ever, get 0% APR for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 finance for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Ally.
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I have a very keen sense of smell. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. Make some noise. It's live in July. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, The Foo Fighter. During Wasting Life. And if you go to MikeyShow.com right now. You can see that we have a countdown going on, and it says that the Wipeout Party is seven days, ten hours, ten minutes. And that is Jay and Woods on ABC's Wipeout. It'll be a week from today that we'll do that. We also had on the show earlier, the host of the show, Jill something. Jill? Jill Wagner. Jill Wagner. Jill, whatever. Let's see. When a guy and a girl are in an elevator together, what's the protocol? Girl goes first. Girl goes first, right? Ladies first.
Obviously, that is the traditional rule. However, women have sort of elevated themselves now and all things being equal. Except for paying the check. Or driving. Or driving. Ten more minutes. You're really getting... Or killing bugs. Chauvinistic show. Well, my wife kills the majority of the bugs in our home. That is true. It's a true statement. That is true. Wow, Woods. Yeah, I know. Hey, listen, if all things are equal, wouldn't that mean that it's, you know, sort of whoever got in first? I think it's whoever got in first. Whoever got in first. So if a guy gets in first, he gets out first. Yeah. I think it's a nice gesture if a guy lets me go, even if I didn't get in first. But I would not think him rude if he didn't let me get out first. Gosh, I would feel rude as all get up walking out before a lady. Well, according to. The queen of etiquette, Emily Post, they've always said for years, Emily Post is like the beginning and end of etiquette. EP, she's the best. Yeah, EP says it's not women. She says it's whoever is closest to the elevator door is the person who should. See, and I'll even do the backup, go ahead. I'll back away from the front. She thinks you want to look at her. I do. Is that right? Never occurred to me, but thanks, Emily Post, for putting that creepy idea in my head because that's what I'm going to do.
Thank you. I would always let a lady go out first. Me too. Yeah. Although one time I had to go to the bathroom really, really bad. Number one or number two? None of your business. So number two. And I was trying to, I was hitting, you know, doing the, hit the elevator button a million times for it to come and open. Like somehow that's going to make a difference. And the elevator opened and I went in. And somebody was trying to come out. And they... Oh, that's... Oh, yeah. That's a different one. I know. That's a different one. I know it's bad. I mean, I know that's bad. And I almost wanted to go, I have to poo. Gosh. Sorry. And that they'd be like, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know. But, yes, according to etiquette, it is not always the woman that gets out first. It should be whoever's close to the door. But in my world, ladies first. I think ladies first. I think so, too. Yeah. We won't object. Well, now I know I can stare at their butt when I let them out first. Like you didn't know that before. I swear on my mother, I didn't. You're a liar. I never thought about it. Two birds, one stone, though. Fair enough. We were talking about it at dinner, and the ladies were making a joke at dinner about first dates, and it was Kimber that was telling us this, that in Indianapolis, where she lives now, even when her and her husband go out to dinner,
It doesn't matter where they go out to dinner every single time. It's cultural there that when they bring the check, they say, is this going to be one or two taps every time? Wow. No matter what. It's cultural. It's a thing that they do there. California, they do not do that. No. In fact, they're put out if they have to split a check here in California. More than anything I've ever seen. It's like you ask them to borrow their car. Right. Well. You asked them if you could have their car. Yeah. I showed it to you already once. But didn't we already break? Oh, wait. Maybe we did. Oh, you're right. Sorry. I could be a crackhead. Oh, wow. Sorry. That scared me so bad. I was like, 43.
43. Yeah, Jay, that was 10 minutes ago. I'm letting you know for tomorrow, my idiot. Easy, Captain Callout. Well, the point that they were trying to make was is that any guy that would allow a girl to split a check on the first date is a jerk. And I agree. 100%. I agree with that 100%. And it got us into that conversation of who is that guy? Who are you? Besides Jay. We know that. I think he's more chivalrous. You're a guy that doesn't get a second date. That's verbatim what Kimbra said. She goes, that's the guy that doesn't get the second date. Yeah, you're also not closing a lick of business on that first date, my friend. Forget that part. I'm just wondering to myself, who is that guy? Who's the guy that goes on a date and allows a check to be split? I want to talk to him. If he's out there. I know. He's not willing. He's not willing to call. I know he's not willing. Has any girl here been on a first date where a guy allowed you to split a check? You have, L-O-B? Duh. Yes. Oh, my God. Holy cow. You might have told me this. I did, I believe, tell you about this. I was on a date with someone who, first time I met him, did not walk me to my... Went in the dark, wanted to show me his car. We went and saw his car. All right. I'll see you later.
And then sped off and left me in the dark. Then I thought, you know what? Maybe he just was not in a good spot. Maybe just whatever. Then asked me on an actual date to dinner where I offered to be polite. We can just split this. And he said, okay. And that was the end of that. End of that. Did you kiss him? No. Did you sleep with him? No. Well, I'm trying to think. It's so hard because of course we want every equal opportunity. And of course women are more than confident enough to handle anything that a man can handle. At the same time, I appreciate being treated like... A lady. So I don't know how to reconcile that. You know what I mean? It's one of those that just is there and it's going to be there. Isn't it okay for their beat to be traditional? Yeah. Male and female. That's the thing though. I love it. Like my husband will do stuff around the house and I've kind of gotten used to it. He handles this and I kind of take care of this. And part of me, you know.
Sometimes when I really think about it, I'm like, I can totally handle that. You know, it's exactly the way it is at my house, except for the part of me handling something. But that's exactly how we do that, too. Right. Right. I just don't know how to do anything. But see, I'll go to the grocery store and cook, which traditionally years ago, that was, you know, the woman's thing. And Jamie will change the light bulbs and put in new toilets. That's awesome. Which traditionally men do. As long as it works where you put in new toilets. We blew a fuse yesterday. She asked me to look for the fuse box and fix it. I looked, could not find it. By look, you mean you started looking under pillows. I can't find it, babe. Opening cabinets. I don't know. She came home and fixed the fuse box. All it is is a flip of a switch. Yeah. I couldn't find it. You have to find it. I couldn't find it. You have to get out of bed to find it. I just got back in bed. Yeah. We were talking about this as a possible topic on the show about looking under the hood when you buy a car. And we were very split on it. Jay said, of course you do. Lauren said...
I don't do that. I haven't seen under my hood for like six months. What am I looking for? There it is. The battery, the belts, the hoses. Oh, the belts look good. You can look at it and tell, you know, for all you know, the guy's been out in the mud. How am I going to know? You'll see mud all up in the engine. What am I going to do if there's mud in the car? You don't buy the car. You walk away. Hey, clean this mud up. Hey, you got mud in here. You go, it's not the car for me. I have done the bit before where I've opened the hood and been like. Yeah. Looks good. And then just shut it. I don't know what I'm looking for. That sure is a motor. That thing's sharp. It's just engine in all over the place, isn't it? That thing's just a big old engine. Lots of parts. Just stuff moving. Hillary, what do you have coming up? The Switchfoot. Thank you for leaving it for me. I'm going to play that new Switchfoot song, Dark Horses. Sweet. TV on the radio. I grab Danzig, some Iggy Pop, and I'm going to play a band that's been on hiatus for about five or six years, and they are just now getting ready to put out a new record. Is it bread? I'll play something off it. Is it bread? It's bread. Is it America? It's America. It is, you guys. God, you had to ruin it. Sorry, I didn't mean to blow your tease. It's my fault. For the listeners. Sister Golden Hair 2. Yes. Jay, what do you have that you're going to be doing? I'm going to be at Chiefs and Solana Beach.
from 4 to 5 o'clock today. I've got L.A. Rising tickets to give away. It's the League of Most Interesting Challenges. There you go. Very nice. I've been seeing Jay practice some of those, by the way. True story. Why do we not have audio? What's that? Why do we not have audio? Maybe we get some. We need hidden camera. Yes. Hidden camera. All right. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. The Mikey Show's out. Yep. Smell sulfur. FM 94.9. It's about the music.