The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/22/11
Friday, July 22, 2011
comic conart debatemurder casesoccer gamehair pranktipping guideemployee rightstiger woodsabuse testimonyfaithartmurder
The Friday episode of The Mikey Show on FM 94.9 featured a mix of comedy, sports debate, and heavy personal storytelling. Host Mikey and regulars Woods, Jay, and L.O.B. discussed Comic-Con's 1970s origins and celebrity attendees, debated whether drawing X-Men constitutes art, and reacted to a caller's story about a murder suspect's Facebook party. They played a chaotic hallway soccer game 'Let's Shootout' where Woods' broken ankle was re-injured and his kick mocked, then pranked him with a secretly posted salon photo making him look like 'Fat Bradley Cooper' under a hair dryer. The show tackled tipping norms from LA Weekly, debated employee vs. boss work behavior, and concluded with Tiger Woods firing his longtime caddy Steve Williams amid sour grapes and a sex-scandal context. The episode closed with Mikey's emotional testimony about surviving childhood sexual abuse, years of addiction and anger, finding faith in Jesus, and introducing Red's 'Not Alone' song with help resources.
What happened, in order
Comic-Con Roots
Recaps how Comic-Con started in 1970 as a modest comic book convention, now huge with Spielberg, del Toro, Favreau attending, and San Diego securing $162.8M annually from it.
X-Men & Star Wars Art Debate
A caller (Nubian Prince) draws X-Men characters, sparking a heated on-air debate with Woods and Jay about whether drawing qualifies as art, with Woods skeptical and Jay defending it.
Soulless Killer
Details the tragic murder of six-year-old Max, the suspect's Facebook party covering parents with items, and Woods' visceral reaction to the kid's 'evil,' soulless eyes.
Let's Shootout Soccer
Describes the seventh-floor hallway soccer match where Woods (barefoot, broken ankle) blocks/kicks balls against Jay, resulting in Woods re-breaking his ankle and being mocked for his effeminate kick.
Big Perm Reveal
L.O.B. secretly sends a photo of Woods under a hair dryer with a plastic bag at a salon, sparking hundreds of Facebook captions calling him 'Fat Bradley Cooper' and debating a 'perm' vs 'deep condition.'
20% Tipping Standard
Covers the show's discussion on LA Weekly's tipping guide, establishing 20% as the minimum at restaurants, $1/beer at bars, dollar at Starbucks, and valet $2-$3, with Woods and Jay debating employees vs bosses.
Steve Williams Fired
Details Tiger Woods firing his longtime caddy Steve Williams after 18 turbulent months, the caddy's sour grapes about wasting two years, and the show's debate on whether he had a right to be upset.
Not Alone Testimony
Mikey shares his story of childhood sexual abuse, years of addiction and anger, finding faith in Jesus, and introducing Red's 'Not Alone' song with help resources at MikeyShow.com.
People mentioned
mikeywoodsjayl.o.b.chrisnubian-princesteven-spielbergguillermo-del-torojon-favreaual-davischad-ocho-cincotyler-hadleyrebecca-zahewjonah-shachnai
35,246 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Call us right now. Love to hear from you. I'll tell you, ever since Sienna has left the Mikey Show, we're really realizing what she did and how tough her job was. And so that's why sometimes when we sign on, it takes a second. Our number here, 570-1949. If you want to call us and if you'd like to email us, It is, or excuse me, if you'd like to email or text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Man, we got a lot to talk about today. And it is Friday, right? Yes, it is. It is Friday today. That's good news. Woodsy has recommended an orthopedic guy for me that I'm going to go see today. Oh, boy. And hopefully get all fixed up. Let's see.
So many things. So many things. There's so much fun stuff to talk about. I'm going to tell you guys a story about something stupid that I did that will just thrill you. I can't wait. Woodsy, you're going to love it. I can't wait. I'm Mike. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41. Woods is our sports guy. And he's 36 now. Just turned 36. And L.O.B. is our assistant producer, comedian, Blondie. Your hair's getting long. How foxy does that hair look today? It's long, right? Ovation works. It does. It really does. It's all shiny and blonde. Hey, LLB, how long would you let your hair get? To my feet. No, I'm just kidding. Not much longer than this. Really? It's like bordering that creepy area because it's growing so fast. It's at her breasts. Her hair is at her breasts. Mid-back. Mid-back. Right past the bra line. Yeah. You could almost tie her up with it. Oh, wow. Was that strange, right? Right out of the box. From the rapist's handbook. Yeah. Yes. Well, it's page four, chapter two. Version 1.2. I haven't gotten any downloads, so I don't know what it says. Jay is our producer. He's 48. Sometimes says shocking things. Minus the sometimes.
He is something else, that guy. Sheesh. He's like my morning coffee, dude. I'll be a little tired, and then one of those will come out of left field, and I'll be like, jolt. A little energy shot. It's like an energy shot. And our phone screener is Chris. Scrawls! That's Scrawls. And the word of the day is Opus. So when you hear me say that between now and 10, call her 9. We'll get four-packet tickets to SeaWorld. And don't forget about our Dave and Buster's party. It's a wipeout viewing party because Jay and Woods are going to be on Wipeout. It's in six days. And it's fantastic. All right, so open phones. You can call about anything. I especially want to hear from people that have tried Comic-Con, have been to Comic-Con, and have enjoyed Comic-Con. I want to hear from you. The nerdier, the better. Yes. So this is what I can tell you about Comic-Con. Steven Spielberg was there for the opening. So was Guillermo. Guillermo. Guillermo. Guillermo. Guillermo. Guillermo. Guillermo del Toro. And Jon Favreau. Rad. They were all there. You know this sucker started in 1970, this Comic Con? It's amazing.
Started in 1970. And when it started, it was just this little modest thing that was supposed to be about comic books. And now it's grown into this gigantic machine so big that L.A. and Anaheim wanted to get it away from us. And they actually had a lot of promises for Comic-Con if Comic-Con would go. And Comic-Con basically said to San Diego, Sayonara. And San Diego said, OK, hang on. Just don't do anything rash. Don't do anything rash. Don't freak out and just let us make you an offer. Just give me a chance. And so what we said is, well, first of all, we had to take into account, what do we get out of this deal, Comic-Con? Well, how about $162.8 million a year is what we get from it. How about $2.8 million in tax revenue? That's not bad. From Comic-Con. Wow. And so what we said was that we would use half a million dollars in hotel taxes to pay for shuttle service around town and around downtown for people. And also, the city said, we'll also block out some more hotel rooms for your nerderies. And we'll give you discounts on those hotel rooms. And Comic Con said, greetings. We take you up on that.
A couple of quotes from yesterday. It is just a hub of all nerddom. You're a geek for something, and if you are, you'll find it here. That's what one Comic-Con goer said. And a female Comic-Con goer said, This is one of the few places where you don't feel strange. So there you go. Again, Comic-Con goers refer to themselves as nerds and geeks, which I appreciate. I think that's cool. There is a replica of the DeLorean from Back to the Future at Comic-Con. Rad. Hey, listen. It doesn't matter who you are. You'll like something at Comic-Con. For sure. I mean, it's a true fact. I mean, I don't like comic books, but it ain't about comic books, really. It's about all kinds. It's about movies that you used to like. It's about all kinds of stuff. Wow.
So, anyway. Hello, Bree. M1 Nubian Prince on the line from San Diego. Hi, Nubian Prince. Good morning, Mikey. How you doing? I'm doing really good, dude. I just want to wish you guys a good morning. But also, dude, I loved Comic-Con. When I went before, I had a really great time. I'm a huge Star Wars fan. And the other thing, too, is I used to draw X-Men characters and stuff when I was a kid. Did you really? Wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For a long time. I was really into art a lot. Me and my friends would do all kinds of art together up in North Cal. Look at you. Oh, yeah. I like how you call that art. That makes me laugh. Listen, if you're drawing, it's art. Is it? I can't draw. It is art. It's art. I just think it's funny that he called it art. It's just my thing. It's art. It's my thing. What would you call it? What would you call it? Pictures. Cartoons. Pictures. Well, it's art, bro. If you're trying to do those strokes the way that the... Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No joke, dude. It's pretty art. Monet was art.
That's another form of artwork. You really are on one today. That's painting. That's different. Something else. That's art, really. Hey, dude, you know, one man's art's another man's something. Something. So if I drew a picture of a wiener on the back of this piece of paper, that would be art? Yes. Okay. It would be your artwork. Yeah. Wouldn't it? What was that movie, according to the, what was that movie where that little kid was drawing those two? Yeah, that's super bad. Super bad. I guess he was an artist. So you're saying the kids at art school or an art class in elementary school, even though they're just gluing macaroni to paper, that's not art. Correct. That's little kids. Then they should call it draw class. Gluing macaroni. They call it macaroni class. It's art. It is art. It is art. Oh, yeah, by the way, too, Jay, you are killing me, dude, with your quotes, bro. Like, this morning, bow in my face, dude. Just thank you. He is really... pow in the face. I will say that. Switching teams on me, huh? Say what up, black people. There you go. Thank you, Nubian Prince. Have a good morning. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. It's not an artist.
It is! I'm so disappointed. My friend Woods, who I consider one of the most intelligent, funny dudes, he's got such a narrow view, it seems, with some of these things. Very narrow. You want to open your mind to be open to new things. Because you're drawing X-Men. Doesn't make you an artist, pal. Yes, it does! Doesn't it? Doesn't even have to be good, just the fact that you're doing it. That's right. Art. Right there. That's what you can call art. Listen. Doesn't make you a good artist. Now, I love, my favorite type of art is abstract art. So there was something in what you just did that was somewhat appealing. I feel anger in that. Yeah, you know, sometimes you look at stuff and it's, sometimes I look at abstract art and it makes me angry. Sometimes I look at abstract art, it makes me feel calm. Right. Sometimes I look at abstract art, it makes me sad. But some people think abstract art is just a bunch of baloney. Well, I think that it's baloney in the sense that it is just thrown together. Right. But just because it's thrown together doesn't mean that it doesn't elicit. I'm going to call this piece Whittling Wood. Which piece? The piece that I'm about to post on Facebook of my abstract art that I just made.
It's called whittling wood. And you have the right to do that as the artist. I am now an artist. So just want everybody to know that I, Stephen R. Woods, am an artist. You are. I am. I think anybody is an artist. If anybody can do, you know, I'm not a very good artist, but I'm an artist nonetheless. Well, look at this. I'm a musician. Not bad. See? By the same logic. You used your instrument. I don't have a problem with that. 570-1949 if you want to get all over Woods for... Not like an art. Let's see. What are you doing? I'm posting this to Facebook. Whittling wood. Alright. I told you. I told you. There we go. Alright, Woodsy, what is... What's going on with this collective bargaining agreement? It's over, right? Are we done? And we're gonna play football, right? Yeah, no. No, no, no. Let's...
Let's not get all excited yet. I saw a lot of premature celebration on Facebook yesterday. That seemed like it was over. It is not over. The deal has been finished. Now, what they're waiting on are the players to sign off on it. So they voted yesterday. All the owners voted. They get this packet in front of them, right? Yes. So there's 32 owners. 31 of them voted. Can you guess who abstained from voting? Jerry Jones. No. Oh, Al Davis. Yes, sir. Very good. Thank you. Very good. Al Davis, I don't know, just said, I don't feel like voting, and he didn't. So now it's in the players' hands. He felt like napping. Yeah, he felt like napping. He felt like soup. Yeah, the early bird special. Yeah, the early bird. At Applebee's. So the deal is now the players have this agreement in front of them. Now, I went to Twitter last night, as I often do. Did you Twitter a famous football person? I might have tweeted Chad Ocho Cinco. I guess. Because his bit, as is a lot of the players' bit now, is great, great. Now it's our fault that we're not playing football. Well, right, Chad. You have the deal in front of you, Chad. Yes. Sign the freaking deal. Right. You had player reps in there to okay all this stuff. Sign the agreement. Get on the field, you whiny millionaire. Yeah. No, I lost my mind. I don't like the whiny millionaire part, but.
Uh, cause I feel that I just don't like the whining. What he makes doesn't matter. Okay. Yeah. All right. You whiner. He's a whiner. You whiner. And he's like, he said something about great. Now all the negativity is going to be on us players. Well, sure. The owners have signed off on their part. Do your job and sign off. That dude that they have representing them is a hard ass. Yeah. Well, it would be like this, Mike. He wants everything. I was thinking. You don't want to give. I was thinking about it this morning. Do the fans have a right to be mad at the players now? Of course. Absolutely. It would be like if they were renegotiating our deals and I was like... And what do you mean now? Didn't we have a right to be mad at both sides from the very beginning? Absolutely. Imagine if I go, you know what? I know that JLOB and Mike have all signed, but I'm not going to sign yet. Do the fans have a right to be mad at me? Sure. Absolutely they do. Sure. Absolutely they do. So, you know what? Sign the deal. Get on the field. They've already canceled the Hall of Fame game. Okay? The first game, the first preseason game they play every year, it coincides with the inductions for the Hall of Fame. Canceled it. Out. Not going to do that game. So here we go, dude. Sign on the dotted line, pal. It's July 22. Yeah. If they sign today, now they can vote on it today. If they sign today, camps will be open tomorrow, my friend. They will be in there working, working out, learning the playbook. It'll be dumb. Okay. In my opinion.
It'll be dumb. And the reason that it'll be dumb is they don't have any signed players from that fake draft back in April. How long is that going to take? I know. The free agency, there's so many great free agents out there, too. It's going to be, once it does get done, it will be awesome. It's going to be a whirlwind. But they got to sign. So, players, it's in your hands. You got it now. Sign it. Talking about the CBA. Collective bargaining agreement. It's going to be great. Jay doesn't care because he doesn't like football. He's not playing them. Yeah, if he's not playing, he's... That's right. He is not interested unless he plays himself. Right. That psycho kid in Florida. My goodness. Just a freaking nut. This psycho kid in Florida that killed his parents says, well, I guess he told his best friend about it. Tyler Hadley is his name. Might as well be Michael Myers. I think he'll forever be, you know, immortalized as a scary creep and boogeyman. But he killed his parents. And he told a friend of his. And apparently the friend has told authorities. Friend's name is Michael Madley. Or excuse me, Michael Mandel. And he said that, he says, yeah, Tyler told me that he'd taken three ecstasy pills before he did this.
So he's charged with two counts of first degree murder. So sad. Woods showed me a picture of this kid and he just looks evil. You just see it in his eyes and he's messed up. Soulless. Soulless. That's what he looks like. It's just awful. And then after he did that, by the way, I think we reported to you that dude went on Facebook and had a party over at his house. 40 to 60 people. He covered his parents up with files, blankets, books. Anything. Anything you could get his hands on. Had a big bash. Yep. Sick world, right? Call us, 570-1949. Open phones. You can talk about anything that you want to right now because it's open phones. Don't forget, the word of the day is opus. And so when I use that in a sentence, caller nine, you'll win a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld, okay?
The weird thing that happened at the mansion in Coronado where the little boy fell down the stairs, six-year-old little boy named Max. He falls down the stairs on Monday, has injuries that are so bad he eventually dies a couple days later. This woman, Rebecca Zahew, she is found nude, bound, and hung from the second-story balcony right here in Coronado. This is now a... This gigantic worldwide story. It's in our own backyard here in Coronado. And basically what's happening right now is the Coronado police are saying it's going to be a while before we know what's going on. And the reason that it's going to be a while is because, first of all, we cannot rule out the possibility of suicide, which I think is strange because her hands and her feet were bound. I don't know how she'd do that. But they said that they can't rule it out yet. They need to get a lot of forensic evidence before they can say anything. And basically, whatever that forensic evidence says is going to dictate what direction this case goes. Is it a homicide? Is it a suicide? And they're still questioning a lot of people. There are people that they're very interested in. The guy that owns the house, a famous, well, when I say famous, I mean rich. He's a very rich guy that's got a...
pharmaceutical business in arizona he was out of town when all this went down when his son died when his when his girlfriend hung herself he's out of town while his brother adam is staying there in fact that guy adam was the only other dude in that house that big giant mansion and so it's 103 years old by the way that mansion 103 years old jay was on the construction crew probably He poured the foundation. The sod. Parent beam. Anyway, so this kid, Max, the little kid, got a couple of brothers. They're interested in talking to the brothers. They are also very interested in talking to the ex-wife, Dina, among a lot of other people. But they are... As of yet, they have not told anybody, hey, don't leave town. They haven't said that to anybody, which is important to remember. It doesn't mean anybody's innocent. It just means it hasn't gone to the point where they've said you can't leave. And this guy, the guy that owns the place, the rich dude, pharmaceutical man, he has hired the same high-profile L.A. public relations firm that handled...
all of the barrage of media questions that were coming to the estate of Michael Jackson. So this guy's hired the same company to sort of play ball with the media around town because, of course, this is giant. Jonah Shachnai is the name of the doctor or the pharmaceutical dude. Beautiful son, beautiful girlfriend in what is bound to be a 48-hour mystery or a... Dateline NBC or one of those things. City Confidential. A hundred percent. So bizarre. If you've never seen, by the way, if you've never seen City Confidential, the guy that narrates City Confidential probably has one of the most interesting voices I've ever heard. It's great. It's awesome. Awesome show. That's a good show. So I'll very briefly tell you what I did this morning.
To tell you, I got to rewind to yesterday afternoon. Yesterday afternoon, I was tooling around in the backyard, and I have speakers out in the backyard that I had playing some music. And as I was out there doing some stuff, I was playing music and enjoying the music. And it was on a playlist. So once the playlist ends, it stops. And so at one point, I was reading and fell asleep. When I woke up, the music had stopped. Right? Got up, went inside. My wife made a lovely dinner. It was a lovely evening. I got to about 6 o'clock at night. As many of you know, I go to bed at 6 because I wake up at 1.15 a.m. Kissed my children goodnight. Kissed my lovely wife goodnight. And I retired. When I wake up in the morning...
I like to go downstairs and answer a lot of emails. Then after I do that, I go upstairs, I take a shower, and I listen to theological expositions. Theological... What's the word? It's like... Presentations? Presentations and... Theories? It starts with a... Dissertations? Dissertations. Yes. Theological dissertations. Gotcha. When I'm done with the shower and listening to said theological dissertations, I hit the off button. And this morning when I hit the off button, I could still hear loudly the theological dissertation. And to my shock and awe and amazement, I realized that I had been broadcasting the theological dissertation to the backyard. Oh, my God. At very, very, very loud volumes.
And I rarely do this, but I ran downstairs to turn off the theological dissertation. And then the nightmare occurred to me that my neighbors, my new neighbors, must be thinking, well, we heard we were moving next door to Mr. Christian Guy. What is this, some sort of propaganda? What is this, Guantanamo? And he's just going to torture us with... It's been worse. My buddy had been watching an adult program. Well, he'd been listening to music outside. Very different. Then he decided to go inside and entertain himself with some adult... Material. Material. So then the neighbors are hearing... Right, right. Yeah. We know what they're hearing. Yeah. Loud. Did you leave a note for your neighbors? Maybe a muffin basket later. Yes.
Maybe. It's not a bad idea. Just leave it on the doorstep. I'm sorry. I'm not Pat Robertson. I'm not the 700 Club. I'm very sorry. Please forget I exist. Who said aren't you? How dare you? That's incredible. One of the porno goddesses that was living with Charlie Sheen. As I said, the fun's free. The next one goes in your mouth. She was on Good Morning America yesterday and talking about Why she couldn't take good care of kids. Give her a chance. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. Woods is still laughing.
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From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. Now at the Home Depot, it's the summer home organization event. With low prices on the things you need to bring order to your home. Like a durable four-tier plastic shelving unit for just $24.88. It fits in your garage or closet. So now all your things will have a place. And you'll know where that place is. Thanks to a four-tier shelving unit for just $24.88. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only while supplies less. See store for details. You know what they say, there's a first time for everything, which means there's also a last time. And right now is the last time this year you can take advantage of the LensCrafters Semi-Annual Lens Event. Find a store near you at LensCrafters.com and hurry in for 50% off lenses, including bifocals, no lines, and sunglasses made with your prescription. You'll see a lot better with your new lenses, but you won't see this sale again until next year. So hurry in for 50% off lenses. Free and purchase required. Some restrictions apply. See store for details. Sale end September 12th.
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Wild creatures, both real and imaginary, will be honored. Ancient arts, both magical and daring, will be performed. It's called The China Celebration at the San Diego Zoo. Come witness Kung Fu without getting into Kung Fu fight. Taste authentic Chinese food without waiting for delivery. Meet real Chinese animals born and raised in America. Purchase souvenirs actually made in China. Honor monkeys in Year of the Rabbit. And lots of poo-poo. No platters. Only... at the China Celebration. Celebrate the wonders of the Far East at the San Diego Zoo's China Celebration. From jaw-dropping acrobatics to wild animal encounters, it's sure to be a magical evening for all. Open nightly June 25th through September 5th. Visit sandiegozoo.org for details. And pick up your San Diego Zoo discount coupon for a half-off child's admission at participating SoCal Denny's, plus a free Denny's kids' meal. See restaurant for details. This summer, wars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men. Killers. are made. Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death? In America. We're in. Let's go. Critics agree. Captain America rocks. Here they come! It's pure excitement, pure action, and pure fun. Summer has saved the best for last. The women of America owe you their thanks. Captain America, the first Avenger in 3D for a future 13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Now playing.
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reduced speeds at Federal Boulevard. This report brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's. For a limited time, choose from a variety of icy cold drinks. Now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. Any part of gross stuff? Lauren. I have a very sophisticated palate. Oh, really? I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the plane, okay? And Jay. I have a pond. I built a pond in my yard. On FM 94.9. Officially a daddy. He is officially a daddy. Sent us a picture of his beautiful little girl. And, hey, listen. Guy's got to put some food on the table. Why don't you hire him to be your graphic designer? Since, aside from being a new dad, he's also the best graphic designer in the country, in my opinion. This guy is so talented, it's sick. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. He is good. Congratulations, my man. That's right. Madison. She's an angel. Yeah, a little angel. We recorded this. Women's restroom. This is Jay playing. I am positive. Try to get that out of your head. I know, dude. I know. Because guess what? You're not gonna. Uh-uh. I'll tell you why. Because yesterday, at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I was walking around my house going,
Angel of light. All day. I heard Woods like working on his stories being like, I'm an angel. I'm an angel of light to be entered into next year's March Music Madness. Yes. As it should be. Because you can put I'm an angel of light up against pretty much any song. It's a true statement. In my humble opinion. Where are the days opus? So sometime between 9 and 10, I'll use it, and you can win a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. Now, this was Good Morning America, and it was, what do they call those broads? Porn stars? No, what's he? Angels? Angels? No, they called them. Little miracles. The little goddesses or something. Oh, the goddesses. Right. Duh. Duh. And, well, you know the deal. It's those girls. Brie Olsen was one of the porn stars.
And she was asked about, was there any jealousy between you and the other goddess, Natalie? I'm running new software. Even though they portrayed it as close-knit and kinky behind the scenes, it was anything but. Was it a tense environment then in the home? At times. Yeah, you live with Charlie Sheen. Between the two of you, the women, not you and Charlie. It was like you could cut the... Air with a knife sometimes. I felt like I couldn't show Charlie the affection and the love that I wanted to show him because of how she would react. It seems crazy to everybody else, but for us, I mean, it works well. And we all love and respect each other and respect each other's boundaries. Yeah, well, I don't know what to tell you. I think she was trying to convince herself that it was great, but...
I mean, she was crying like every day. She was really upset about it. Maybe she was upset about it because we're really not meant to do coke and hang out with a dude and do speed. Speak for yourself. Slay with another person. Share. Share a person. Maybe sometimes that can cause problems. Maybe. Every now and then. Sometimes. Sometimes. You know? Or, you know, all the time, so who knows? Here she is again. What did you like about him? He made me laugh, like just every other thing he said. He doesn't have a regular how's the weather conversation, you know? They started dating almost right away. She says she was aware of the reports of Sheen's violence, allegedly holding up a knife to his ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, and then trashing a hotel room with another porn star in it. Guys with histories of violence. ever able to land new girls even though they know about it in the past. I'll change him. I'll change him. It'll be me. He probably did that with her because she was not as awesome as me. She was crazy. She was crazy. She's crazy. I'm not crazy. I can do it. She must not have been cool. I'm cool. He wouldn't lose his temper with me. I'll be cool to him. I'm kind of like one of the guys. I'm like laid back. I'm laid back.
But she says she figured it was all tabloid misrepresentation. But were you not concerned that there might be even a kernel of truth to it and that maybe you were putting yourself in a dicey situation? I believe that from most rumors there's some truth. But I wasn't, I did not get that vibe from him whatsoever. Have you ever seen him behave in a... Sometimes there's rumors and there isn't truth. That's true sometimes too. And sometimes there's rumors and it is true. Sorry about that. It's okay. But I want to share this with the audience because it's one of the most interesting things I've ever seen with my own eyes. And I'm going to tell you right now, I've seen some of the most exotic animals at the wild animal park that they have to offer. Seen some of the most exotic dancers at the wild animal park. At the wild place. The wild cheetah. Right. Out of all those things that I've seen that are unusual and beautiful and stark, I would say that Jay sneezing is right up there. Is it beautiful? In its oddness, yes. There is some beauty to it. It's so different. Shock and awe. And I saw you do it earlier. I saw you sneeze.
Have you guys ever seen Jay Sneeze? Once or twice. You can hear it through the soundproof glass. It's soundproof. There's a look on his face of remorse when he does it, which is unusual. It's very weird. It's unusual. But he's got a look of remorse. He has a look, and then sometimes the look is fear. Sometimes the look is genuine humor. Like he finds humor in it. It's almost like he's... Made himself laugh. It's out of control of what it is. It's very, you got some allergies this morning. His whole body goes into it. Oh, it was horrible. It's a full body experience. Let's see. Maura Brie Olsen, porn star, talking about her and child care. The memory that stings the most from that period, she says, is the uproar over the goddesses caring for Sheen's two young sons.
That is so absurd that, oh, a porn star is not capable of being around children. Just because I've chosen to do what everyone else does in this whole entire world on camera does not make me uneligible to be around children. I agree. I would also say that if somebody's a nun, it doesn't make them eligible to be around children. Because you're a porn star, it also doesn't mean that you're good around children. Doesn't mean you're bad, but it don't mean you're good either. I guess we'd have to see what you're like in order for us to know what you're like around kids. But you can't disqualify it and you can't qualify it. Oh, you must be great around kids then because you have sex on camera. It's like you can't say to some nun, oh, you must be great around kids because you're a nun. No, you're great around kids if you're great around kids.
Me, myself, I'm kind of afraid of kids because I think they're going to be honest like kids are and go, you're fat. You know, because that's what kids do. I'll never forget the time my six-year-old niece sat on my friend Jessica's lap and said, you have a giant nose. And she did have a giant nose. In fact, it was probably the most distinctive thing about her was that she had that nose, you know, and a lot of people knew it. Well, everyone did, and she knew it, and she was aware of it, and didn't talk about it. No one talked about it. No one talked about it, except my niece, because she was six. You've got a giant nose. Gosh, the kid just said something real honest. Did you vomit? I wanted to, dude. I wanted to just remove my... I wish I could TiVo back. Yeah. And just go, please, please. Don't you think she knew she had a big nose? She did. Yeah. What the big deal, then? She thought maybe it wasn't that notable. Hang on. I'm just going to back up in time. In time, that didn't happen. No, I'm uncomfortable. But yeah, there you go. L-O-B, Lauren O'Brien, the blonde over here. She has a boyfriend whose name is Matt Commerce who gets an audition with the TV show The Voice. What about that? We also...
Turned 30 today. Oh, happy birthday. Happy birthday, pal. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to Matt. Get some. Let's see. Now, Matt, L.O.B. had to give Matt's car a jump last week. And when he lifted the hood of the car, L.O.B. said, oh, it's the first time I've seen under my little hood. He was actually jumping your car, right? He was jumping your car? No, I had to jump his car, but we used my battery. So you opened the hood of your car and she said, oh, wow. It's the first time I've seen it under my little hood. And he said to her, only a chick would do that. A chick or Woods and I, and many of you guys listening. That are probably too afraid to admit it. You're crazy. Oh boy, with this. Yeah, I built engines. I built one right now. Well, I'll tell you why. I've got balls. I'm a man. Yeah, I'm a man. You want to check out every aspect of the car.
What am I looking for? It's like me. What am I looking for? Well, if you're buying a used car, first off, Mike, you never do that. You always want to look at the belts. You want to see what kind of... For what? Yeah, to see if there's wear. That's how I know. You look at it. You can tell if they're cracked. How? My mechanic? And if they are cracked, we do. Don't want the car. You know, I also take my car to a mechanic, too, before I... before I buy a used car. What? How? He's that guy. You just tell the guy, like, hey, I want to take it to my mechanic beforehand. You're either that guy or you're not. Oh, I'm that guy. And I'm not. I'm not. I write you the check. I drive away. Looks good to me. Can I drive it? Here's me. Can I drive it? Sure. We do go around the walk. Ran. Sound good. Nothing clunky. Sounds good. You check the compression. It's fast. You check the compression. It's like me walking into a surgery. An open heart surgery. poking around. I mean, I don't know anything about it. What am I going to do in there? I'm only going to hurt something. Hey, can I see your instruments? I'd like to see your instruments. I'd like to make sure they're sterilized. If the vehicle's been in a wreck where you can't just look at it and tell, he'll go, oh yeah. You can't tell. Not always. They don't always all report to Carfax. If I did it, it wouldn't be genuine. Cost about 30 bucks to take it to a mechanic. Have him really do a good job of checking it out. If I opened a hood, the engine
would have to have the appearance of having some sort of plastic explosive on it that blew up in order for me to go, oh, there looks like a problem here. But aside from what would look like a plastic explosion occurring, I don't know what I'm looking at. It's all greasy. Would not be genuine. If I crank the hood and start looking, poking around under there, it would be, I'd be doing a fake bit. You could ask fake questions. Yeah. You get the rotors fixed on this? Rotor's cool. Everything good? You guys do the juggernaut thing? Are these original heads? This is 4'6", right? Do you do these 4'6"? Well, what if he said to you, what is that? You know what it is. Do I really have to tell you this? Don't play dumb with me. Don't play dumb with me. Is this a plasticine car? I guess you don't know much about cars. I know enough to be able to say, like, words. That's all. You don't even know the words? No. These pistons, the rotors, the... Your testicles in a jar at home. Is that what goes on? Yes. Yes. In fact, my testicles are in a jar at home because we don't know. Not a car guy. I'm not. Well, I like cars. I just don't know about them. Now, maybe there are people listening. 570-1949. You go, hey, listen, you got to look under the hood. I don't know what I'm looking for. Sounds good in theory. Oh, wow. Thank you, Jay. Oh, wow. By the way, Jay has been hearing an odd noise at his house.
Right, Jay? Yeah, forever. Every night. It's like a what? It is like, there's two different noises now. One is, it's like they're hitting a glass window. It's like, really loud. And sometimes it happens six times right in a row, just loud. Everybody jumps up in the house, lights come on. And then the new one is, it sounds like they're trying to make thunder with a piece of metal. Like, you know, when you shake it. Yeah. What is it? And you've gone and investigated and can't find what the source is, but something new? Something new. What? So I went to my neighbor's house because that's where we kind of identified that it's coming from his side. Like his house backs right up to ours. Right. So I'll go there and I finally catch him because I'd like to catch him outside if I can. So I asked him, I was like, hey man, are you hearing this? He's like, no, I'm not hearing anything. And I described the noise. He was like, that's weird. Looks me right in the eye. That's weird.
I go, oh, okay. He lives by himself, kind of a boner. And you're thinking it's loud enough that he would hear it. Absolutely. He says, well, maybe there's some raccoons. I don't know. I've had some raccoon problems, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, really? That night, nothing. It was like Monday of this last week. Wow. Nothing every day. So ever since you mentioned it, it's stopped. It's stopped. What could that dude be doing over there? What if he's hiding bodies in there? And that's what I thought. Let's just jump to the worst. What if he's cooking meth? Oh, wow. Wait, meth doesn't make that. I mean, not that I would know. What if he's planting flowers and he's moving the beds? At 2 a.m.? What if he's strategically planning how to feed the homeless and he's moving around boxes of food? No. Wrapping Christmas gifts for me? Yep. What if he's wrapping Christmas gifts? Could be. We're just jumping to the worst conclusion. I know. That's what I can't help but think. It's like now whoever he's got tied up is like really tied up even tighter. That's the creepiest thing. Oh, he's probably working on his underground shelter where he hides bodies. That's probably what he's doing. He can only do it at night. Creepy. Yeah. I'm scared now. M1 Cam from Oceanside. Are you there? Good morning, dude. Hey, so I'm mid-20s, and for a while I had a bunch of used cars, and I didn't know anything about them. You know, I raised my single mom and no kind of guy, influence stuff. Yeah. So I took, during the summer, I took the intro to automotive course at my junior college.
You know, they got a textbook the size of a phone book, and it kind of shows you what an engine is and what the process of gas going into the car. Good idea. Turning on. Good idea. It's excellent. I get to do my own oil changes now. I can do a tune-up. And before, I knew nothing. Yeah, my dad did all that stuff. Sure, everybody's dad does that. L.O.B., did your dad ever change his own oil? No. He would take it to a shop? I guess so. You never saw him do that? Uh-uh. Yeah, he used to help my dad change the oil. Still change my oil. Oh, boy. Not every single time, but I do it. It's because you're cheap. I probably do it every couple times because I don't want to change the oil filter just because it's kind of a pain. Wouldn't know where to start. Nah, I respect those dudes. I got respect for those dudes. I just don't do it. I can't do it. I don't think I'm very good at that stuff. M1, Alex from Vista. Mikey, happy Friday. Thank you. Happy Friday to you. Hey, man. I bought a used car three weeks ago. And I know a decent amount about cars. I was crawling around the thing, going underneath it. The engine looked great. I was like, I don't need to take this to the mechanic. And today, my buddy's actually towing it back to the dealer because the tranny's coming apart. Oh, boy. Oh, no. What about... Oh, wow. I'm with Jay. You got to take it to a dealer. I mean, a mechanic, especially if you're buying used. I know the thing that makes me freaked out about buying stuff like that. Yeah. You never know.
They let you take it off the lot to take it to a mechanic? Absolutely. They should. That sounds bizarre. Yeah, kind of. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. LLB's right. Well, no, they must have your driver's license, and they got all your stuff, so what do you need? Especially if you're financing, you know, they got all your info. They got all your info. You're not going to hit the road. No. All right, thanks. Normally, you have a window of time, too, to take it somewhere. Within, like, a week, you can take it to a mechanic. Gosh darn it. Who knew all that? Crap. I had no idea. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Woodsy's wife made him some birthday cake, you know, because his birthday was this week. She bought it for me. She bought it. And he didn't like the frosting on there because he says it tastes like butter and left a film on his teeth. You guys know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I do. He says, whatever happened to that sugary icing that just melted in your mouth? Yeah. It's probably bad for the environment or Ed.
PCBs in it or some stuff like that, right, Woods? Probably. And that's probably why they stopped. That makes me sad. Yeah, and me too. Things are changing and not tasting as good because we're taking stuff out of it. Health bit. That was the stuff I used to scrape off to the side because it was too gross. And I was the guy that came up with his finger and went... Used to be better. Icing has gotten... It's like buttery now. It's very buttery. And when you eat it, you're like... Your tongue and teeth are all filmy. Filmy. It's disgusting. Filled with the butter and sugar. Yeah. Stan Lee. The very famous Stan Lee. You know, Comic-Con's going on. And was Stan Lee rushed to the hospital at Comic-Con? And why? Stan and his own words. Next. Pop it in. And turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY. is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. There's new and then there's new. As in original. As in the reset button has been pressed. As in the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class with technology like attention assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically,
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Now, if you go to FM949SD.com right now, there's a 20% off coupon. So you could save some dough. Three locations, Sports Arena, Kearney Mesa, La Jolla Village Square, Sports Arena behind the Sports Arena, Kearney Mesa, corner of Balboa and Convoy, and La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center. It's Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. You want them, they got them, go get them. Your home is where you feel the safest, but a silent threat may be lurking. one you can't see, smell, or taste. Is carbon monoxide the leading cause of accidental poisoning deaths in America? I'm Kevin Nida, President of the California State Firefighters Association. Each year, firefighters across California see the devastating effects of CO poisoning, yet prevention is quick and easy. Install a carbon monoxide alarm in your home. It's the only safe way to detect the silent killer. And, as of July 1st, it's the law. The CSFA supports this safety measure and urges you not to wait. CO poisonings happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone. Common sources include gas-burning appliances, generators. Take this simple step to protect your family. Install a CO alarm today. For more information, visit casafehomes.org. This is the sound of Becky using a deposit-friendly ATM from Chase. So, I just pushed the deposit checks button.
And slide these checks right in the slot. This is the sound of Jane depositing checks at her bank's ATM. Ugh, I gotta lick this envelope. Ow! Becky. And I get a picture of my checks on the receipt to confirm. Jane. I got a paper cut on my tongue. Becky. Okay, I'm done. Jane. Excuse me, can I borrow your pen again? I forgot to put my account number on the envelope. Say goodbye to deposit slips and envelopes with Chase Deposit Friendly ATMs. A faster way to deposit checks. Even cash. Deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time. Just slide them in. And with a picture of your check on your receipt, you know that your deposit is safe and secure. Now that's a step forward. Thank you. Here's your pen back. Deposit-friendly ATMs from Chase. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A. Member FDIC. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man.
Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late, and way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego County are now open 24 hours. So drive through any time. Participation varies. I call this one Best Girlfriend Ever. It had been a long day and an even longer week. So I headed toward the kitchen, refreshment I did seek. But after swinging open the fridge, I saw the most horrific sight. Not a single cold beverage. Not a single Coors Light. Perhaps behind the milk. Or the dill pickle spears. But there was still no Coors Light. No ice cold beers. I grabbed my keys. It was time to hit the store. But stopped when I heard a knock knock at the door. It was my girlfriend. Bearing gifts of Coors Light. Best girlfriend ever? You got that right. Thank you. And I love you, Aaron.
With great beer comes great responsibility. Follow the fun to Del Mar this Sunday for Family Fun Day presented by OG's Pizza. Head over to the infield for all kinds of games, great prizes, and the coolest activities, all free. Plus kids 12 and under get a free Webkinz plush horse. It all happens this Sunday at Del Mar. As always, kids 17 and under get in free. Brides and grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, July 31st. It's the Bridal Bazaar. Meet more than 200 exhibitors with everything you need for a perfect wedding. tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Your friends at 76 gas invites you to visit a participating 76 station for your chance to win gas for life. See rules for no purchase mail in request ends 831 76. They're not just top tier detergent gas. They're on the driver's side. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement. For United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family, see your dealer for details. Heading on to the 5 southbound right before Oceanside Harbor Drive, there's an accident there. Also, the 8 eastbound at the 805, pretty slow this morning. Speeds are about 37 miles an hour. As you come through Escondido on the 15 southbound Auto Parkway, we're seeing...
speeds drop to about 24 miles an hour. This report brought to you by REMAX. Get straight answers to questions. Know your options. REMAX. Outstanding agents. Outstanding results. Find an agent at REMAX.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. I'm losing my mind. Waiting for you to go through yourself. I feel like I'm losing my mind. 570-1949 is our number. I'm sure it's going to be beautiful today. Let's see. Stan Lee. Stan Lee, okay. Was he rushed to the hospital at Comic-Con? That's the word on the street. Word of the day, Opus. So when I say that, Caller 9 gets, you'll get four packet tickets to SeaWorld. Lots of things going on in the news that I want to tell you about. First of all, we did mention that Comic-Con is going on, and they've pretty much already sold out for next year. Thursday. Yesterday was the first day that you had the opportunity to ensure next year's Comic-Con. Pre-registration started at 8. And apparently...
The opportunity to buy badges for next year is going to continue through Thursday at 8 a.m., but there were no allotted passes left by 9.45. Wow. So they were working right through those things. The name Mike Smith probably isn't that familiar to you, but he's a Hall of Fame jockey that was racing at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. In fact, he won the opening day, the big race at opening day. and then was pulled over by San Diego police shortly before 11.30 p.m. on a Wednesday night and booked on suspicion of driving while intoxicated in Torrey Highlands. Let's see what's going on in sports. Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Absolutely. Scary moment for the Padres yesterday. Yes, they did win their third in a row.
They just have to win three more, and Woods has to shave a fire cut into his head. Wow. Allegedly, allegedly. But they did win. They beat the Marlins 5-3. Orlando Hudson slid into a wall, knocked him unconscious, and they had to cart him off the field. He is doing fine. Will probably be a little bit sore today, but he's doing okay. It was a very scary moment when you saw it. He slid headfirst into the deal. Just looked. He's okay? Yeah, he's fine. They carted him off. He gave the thumbs up bit. Okay. And he's doing good. I'm supposed to meet with him on Friday. Awesome. Awesome. I know. He's a good dude. I know. He's a great dude. Which Friday? This Friday. Today's Friday. Oh, wait. Next Friday. Okay. Okay, cool. Give me an autograph? Huh? Give me an autograph? No. Come on, Woodsy. That is the cheesiest bit. Hey, can I get an autograph? Oh, it skeeves me. It does, dude. It always does. It skeeves me out. What are you nodding at? I agree. It does, man. It's one thing to, like, run into somebody in, like, an airport and ask for one. Hey, and that's the deal, dude. I'm fine with them. I think they're cool. I just don't like to ask for them. I don't like asking for them. But I'm fine with people that do it and get them and all that stuff. You just said it was cheesy. It's cheesy when I ask. I feel it's cheesy to ask. Especially in, like, a meeting.
I feel cheesy asking. I've never found a way that I feel comfortable going, hey, man. Will you sign a ball for me? Can I get a signature? It's tough. No. Hey, man, will you sign a ball for me? I always feel weird. And I'm fine when people ask me to do stuff or they want me to sign anything. I love it. I love it. But I feel weird. I feel weird doing it. You don't feel weird? Not at all. Oh, it's fine. I think it's kind of weird in a meeting. You don't worry about it. Maybe at the end. If you do it in the beginning and then you're like, anyway, well, let's get down to business. Well, if the person has it in their head that people that ask them for autographs outside of fans are that guy, I have now effectively become that guy. And I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of being judged and I'm afraid of being thought of as that guy. I've always been that guy. Yeah. Not me. Hey, man, will you sign a ball for me? Well, he says he's been that guy. Oh, what guy? The ass. No, I've been that guy that's scared of it. I've always been scared of it as well. Not at all. I'm just not a fan of... I had Rick Springfield sign my book. Yeah, and I asked Rick Springfield to sign a book for my cousin. Same thing. To me, it was different. You know why? Because it was Rick Springfield and he, you know...
Like if Potsy came in here. Oh, my God, yeah. If the guy that played Potsy came in here. I'd have him sign my boob. Yeah, I'd be fine with that. I'd be like, hey, Pots, can you sign da-da-da-da-da? Hell, yeah. If Aaron Moran. Joni? The girl that played Joni from Happy Days came in here. I don't have a problem. Hey, Joni, you do me a favor. If Vic Tabak, okay? Mel from Alice. If Vic Tabak came in here with that big dopey white hat and white stained t-shirt. Hey, bro, can you sign this stained apron for my aunt? He would tell you to kiss his grits. No, Flo would tell me to kiss her grits. When we interviewed Damone from Fast Times, I wrote him an email and go, hey, will you sign a picture for our studio? Fine with Damone. Yeah, no problem. Yeah. Where is that, by the way? We need to hang that up. And I think that the reason that I'm okay with that is because I think that they are flattered.
to get a request for a signature because they probably haven't for a while. Is it weird I've never gotten an autograph in my whole life? You've never asked for an autograph? That's weird. Yeah. Never asked for one? Never done the picture bit. I like the picture bit. Never gotten an autograph. I do them both. Never asked for a picture, never gotten an autograph. I asked Pete Rose for an autograph when I was a child and he didn't give me one. Shut up. Well, I mailed. Oh, you did the mail bit. He didn't give it to me. Have you ever asked somebody in person and they said no? No, but I did have somebody get very upset at me. Really? Yes. Red Fox. What? No way. Red Fox got very upset at me. Now, to his defense, I was leaning against his hotel room door. That's right. I remember this story. Yep. Stardust Hotel. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yuma, Arizona. Circa 1980. I was 10. Didn't your brother tip you off as to where he was or something like that? Yeah.
He opened the door and he was wearing nothing but boxer shorts. You knocked on his door. No, I was waiting. Oh, you were just waiting. Yes. And I'll never forget what I said. Two words came out of my mouth like this. Mr. Fox. Look at me. She turned away. She was so embarrassed. She turned away and is having a hard time looking at me in the face. Turned around to make sure you were still a real boy. Did he sign something for you? I had this thing and I had a pen. And he said, give me that GD thing. No way. That's awesome. That's awesome. And he scribbled it. It wasn't legible. He just scribbled it. That's incredible. That's incredible. It wouldn't be great if you got it back and it's like, F you. Yeah. F you, little guy. Red Fox.
That's incredible. We were doing a meet and greet with Scott Weiland, and he was late, of course. And so we're all waiting in line to get an autograph. He comes walking in, and he says, first thing he says, has anybody got any good drugs? Oh, wow. And so Kim and I are waiting in line. He comes over, and we all have the folder out of the CD booklet, whatever. Right. And he's like, I'm not signing anything. And Kim goes, yes, yes, you are. You're signing this right now. And he was like, oh, yes, ma'am. Oh, my God, dude. And then he went through the line and said everything else. All he made was like a firm hand. I was like, okay. That's outstanding. He laid into him. Because we had been waiting for like 30 minutes. And he's like, ooh. Anybody got any good drugs? Yes, you are. That's what Wood said the first time I met him, too. I was like, that's forward. Which is so weird because that's the first thing L.O.B. said when I met her. I know. Which is so weird. Because that's the first thing I said when Jay met me. Yeah, at Rubio's. And it's the first thing Jay says every morning when he comes in. Now I think you ought to buy some. Implicating yourself. That's outstanding. Yeah. So that's a no on the O-Dog ball then. Just to get it clear. Maybe we get to know each other a little better and stuff. Sounds like a maybe. No, not this first meeting. Not the first meeting. Sounds like a probably. It's inappropriate, isn't it?
Is it? It is. Stan Lee. Is he all right? The word on the street was that Stan Lee was rushed to a hospital from Comic-Con. Stan? Stan Lee, I'm right here. And I got to tell you, it'll be very embarrassing if I do get sick and have to go to the hospital. After I've denied that I'm sick and I'm in the hospital, because then nobody will believe it. It'll be like the boy who cried wolf. But at the moment, I'm at the Comic-Con. I just finished the greatest sandwich. And I'm about to leave to do some interviews. So I don't know how the hell that rumor gets started. But I'm awfully glad that people are that concerned. I feel kind of good about it. Interviews. He's great. Sounds like Uncle Victor. He does. Yeah, his Uncle Victor was, I ain't hurt. I didn't go to no hospital. It's a fake bit. Yeah, fake bit. Let's see. I've always enjoyed, I love those guys, those big gruff voices.
The gruff voice guys are also the guys with the loudest farts. My brother had a theory about that. My brother said the other day, do you think that Zach Galifianakis has loud farts? I said, absolutely, yes. There is no doubt about it. My brother has this uncanny ability to be able to look at celebrities and know who's got a loud fart. So we've done this since we were kids, my brother and I. It's a great pastime. Zach Galifianakis. No doubt about it. James Gandolfini. Oh, dude. Are you kidding? I mean, no brainer. John Goodman. Of course. But it doesn't always have to do with girth. Right. Jeff Bridges. There's no doubt. That guy will put his big cowboy boot. Oh, yeah. He'll clunk it down. Badash. Woods is wafting. Stop. They might as well call him Jeff Britches. So this is only Mel celebrities? Mel? Like Mel Gibson? Like Mel Gibson or Mel... Mel. You said Mel. Yeah, you said Mel. Like Mel... There's not... Mel Blank, the guy that used to do the... Mel Tillis. Mel Tillis. You know, I guess anybody named Mel. I'll go with you on that.
Mel Hall used to be a baseball player. Comedian in town. That's Mal Hall. That's Mal Hall. Mel Hall was a baseball player. Yeah. Mel. Mel. Mel is what you're saying. Mel. You're saying Mel. Mel. Not female, but male. Oh, there you go. Oh, male. I said it right every time. He still said Mel. I love when he corrects himself to say it again. Yeah, we don't do females because that's just gross. So Roseanne Barr. Gross. Hey. You're going to... Adel. Who? Adel. That's not how you say her name. It's Adele. Adele. Loud. The singer? Blah, blah. No. Blah, blah, blah. The girl from Hairspray, John Travolta. Hey, you guys are just naming girls that are overweight. I think Beyonce has really loud. Stop it. Ricky Lake. Stop. Ricky Lake. Oprah. Oprah, yes. Oprah, a clearer room. Yes. Whoopee. I got it. When I was in Phoenix last couple weeks ago, we were talking about quiet people. And my brother's thief said that Johnny Depp is probably very quiet. Oh, man. It's like Wonder Bread breaking. Oh, my gosh. You just sprained my brain. Oh, my gosh. It's like Wonder Bread breaking. So gentle.
My God, he's a gentle giant. David Beckham. Very quiet. Classy. Almost. Almost classy. Bear Grylls, classy. Classy. Excuse me, Paul. I'm sorry about that. He eats such natural stuff and probably doesn't even smell. Yeah? I don't need to know that. It's like a waft of pine. Just bug scented. Think George Jones had loud, smelly farts. Not unusual to be. I don't want to talk about it. That's Tom Jones. That's Tom Jones. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Thank you, Jesus. Sorry, that's Simon Jones, my next-door neighbor. George Jones, and he starts singing, It's Not Unusual. Wow. I thought he was going to say, in addition to George Jones, Tom Jones. Yeah, we go, you know, George Jones. I'm losing my religion. I'm hungry like the wolf. Your hot and your cold. Different singer, Jay. Are you sure? Like that, a Mexican comedian?
George Jones? No. George Lopez, actually. First president of the United States? George Washington. A futuristic cartoon? George Jetson. Curious little monkey? Curious George. All different characters and people. Maybe just wait when we say George and you just listen for the last name. I don't want to talk about odor in this conversation. I want to talk about sound. Okay. Okay? And I'll tell you why. Because to talk about odor disgusts me. I know to some people that's humorous. To me, it's filthy. And it grosses me out and it makes me sick. So, but sounds are funny. Sounds are funny. Pavarotti. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, Pavarotti. Rock the house. Yeah.
Sweaty. That's why he was singing so loud. He was just covering it up. Absolutely. Absolutely. Trying to think of real quiet. Yeah, call with louder quiets. Steve Buscemi. First of all, Steve Buscemi, you've never heard anything like it, is my guess. You've never heard anything like it. In fact, he's very well known, I bet, in the industry for having the most unusual sounding gasp. That anybody's ever heard. Like if you were to work with De Niro, he would say, you ever smelled Bushimi or heard Bushimi? And you'd go, no. It's unbelievable. I've never heard anything like it. It's so unusual. What are you guys doing? A lot of eye contact. I don't know. What's happening? He's looking at me. Stay in focus. Robert Redford and Paul Newman. Quiet. Very dignified. Dignified.
I disagree about Paul Newman. Yeah, me too. What? David Letterman. Loud. I'm obnoxious. Yeah, obnoxious. Pee Wee Herman. Loud. Really? You think so? Yes. I do not. I don't think so either. I think it's quiet. Conan is quiet and squeaky. Jimmy Fallon. Very private. Quiet. Yeah. David Lee Roth. Loud as all get up. Jamie Hagar, loud. Followed by a woo! Yeah. Followed by a hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Andrew Dice Clay. Very loud. Loud. Yeah. What about Leonardo DiCaprio? Quiet. Dignified. Slash. Loud. 5701949. Is this what you took the music off the radio for? Took the music off the radio in the morning for this, huh? Rock 104? For Rock 104 to come over here? Oh.
Today's topic is what people have farts. Loud farts. Oh, sorry. I got it wrong. I knew it. Do you want to play? A little. I bet you do a little. Since we're talking about it. What about Charles Grogan? There you go. You're getting it. Now you got it. I still hate it. Do you? I like it, but I hate it. Rock 104. It was actual. Whatever. It's the height of class. M1 cave dweller is on the line from Wisconsin. So yesterday it's boobs and today it's farts. Are you guys just subconsciously channeling Sienna or what? Yeah, pretty much. I think I miss Sienna so much that I can't stay away from the fart topic. Next we're going to talk about pandas and whales. Yes. Her favorites. Yes. Koalas. The exhibits at the zoo. Do you have one for us?
Yeah, my suggestion, it might be a little bit obscure, but if you know this guy, you know this guy has glorious farts. Brian Dennehy. Oh, yeah, totally. Oh, totally. You may have just blown my mind. He may be the king. Brian, oh, I got one. Abe Vigoda. Oh, wow. Imagine being with Abe Vigoda in a cab. In the back of a cab. And the guy that played fish. Yep. Let's lose. What about the guy that played Barney Miller? Do you remember him? Yeah. Nope. I think they were quiet. What about Radar from MASH? Just nothing. Nothing. Just silent but deadly. What about Richard Simmons? Oh, I bet Richard Simmons can get rolling. He probably has simultaneous. While he does a leg lift, it's like... And work!
And two. And work. And two. And work. Come on, girls. Come on, ladies. And two. And work. And two. Thank you, cave dweller. It's a safety hazard. Appreciate it. We got him. Got him. Brian Dennehy. The dad from Tommy Boy, if you need a mental picture. Fantastic. I got hysterical autocorrects coming up next. It's... Your phone will autocorrect when you're trying to write stuff, and some of them, we found a website with some of them that are just fantastic. We'll do it next. Screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-49. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world on a tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy. On FM 94.9. Here's another Home Depot advantage. Behr Premium Plus Ultra Paint.
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at sunglassoptical.com. Now is that perfect time to save the most money on a new truck or SUV, and Bobstall Chevrolet will prove it. Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa has far more Equinox and Tahos than anyone in town. And Silverados? Can't be beat there either. We have hundreds of Silverados at the best price anywhere. And if you've been told you owe too much money on your trade, Bobstall Chevrolet will help. We need your trade. So for the best price on your new vehicle and your trade-in too, as always, your one-stop shop is in La Mesa here at Bobstall Chevrolet. Hear the Authentic Surf Report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden Collar. Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. On the 805 northbound, Governor Drive, a disabled vehicle, it's over on that right shoulder. In Lakeside, on the 8 westbound after Lake Jennings Park Road, there's an accident. And as you head into San Marcos, some delay on the 78 eastbound at San Marcos Boulevard due to an accident that's in the center divider. This report also brought to you by CarMax.
Looking to sell your car? Take it into CarMax today. You'll get a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. It's good for seven days. CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning. Brought to you by Frostbrew Coors Light. Coors Light, cold refreshment. Coors Brewing Company, Gold in Colorado. Surf-wise today, we're seeing a decrease in an already small combination of west-northwest swell and southwest direction. That means smaller waves across the board. Lower tide this morning not helping that out either. Looking at ankle-knee waist-high waves on average with occasional plus, top-open spots might see a chest-high wave on the other side of that lower tide that we're heading into. Condition-wise, looking fairly clean. Overcast skies right now, but fairly light. Looks like a chance for early sunshine once again. And winds are light and variable as well. A little bit out of the south, a little bit out of the west, but not enough to affect surface textures or conditions. Really weak at the reef breaks right now. Beaches are your better call. Water temperature remains warm, too, in the upper 60s, maybe even the 70-degree level at some spots. But there are cold spots as well, so you can be kind of toasty for a second, and all of a sudden it feels like somebody threw an ice cube in you. Anyways, that's what we're looking at. And for up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com.
For all your surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music, you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. Word of the day's opus. When you hear it and you're calling 90, get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. We're going to be playing Let's in just a minute. Let's shootout. Well, you know the Women's World Cup just ended. And so because of that, what we're going to do is have Woods and Jay do a shootout. Now. I'm going to let it be known. I was against this. I am against this. I care very deeply for my friend Woods, who is recovering from an ankle injury. Does your wife know that you're playing Let's Shootout? She does not. Now, I don't know what Jamie's like when it comes to that stuff. She's a head shaker. She's a head shaker. She's just a head shaker. She would just shake her head. She knows better. So she wouldn't say...
Dear, you shouldn't do that. Yeah, she might say that with a head shake. And I'll go, sure. Now, L-O-B, on the other hand, was as unconcerned as it possibly gets. True. True statement. That's not true. It's a true statement. That is not only true. It's 100% true. She might have said, don't be a P word. Your ankle still hurts. Your ankle still hurts? Nice beaver. She said... She said, and I quote, if he's willing to do it, let him do it. I did say that. She did. And don't be a P word, Woods. Yes. No. Yes, you did. He can't help that. Okay. Thank you very much. If you have a autocorrect feature on your cell phone, then you know about this. I hate it because when I, a lot of times I will say to my wife, hi, hon, and it'll say, hi, John.
If I do ha-ha-ha, it types handbags. It's weird. I did ha-ha-ha this morning, and it spelled out Havana. I don't have a clue. I've done ha-ha-ha, and if I accidentally hit the B, which is right next to the H, it'll correct as haba-baba. Yes. I'm like, what is haba-baba? We got an email from an M1. All of us were copied on it. It was a long email, and Mikey just wrote back. Haba-baba. Haba-baba. I googled it. What does it mean? Some German thing. Oh, great. Here's one. This person asked, how's your day going? And their friend said, awful. I have a bad case of the man boobs. And then wrote back, OMG, the Mondays. Not man boobs. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the... Man boobs. That's just every day for you and Wood, Mike. That's a wicked case. Preemptive. This one is a guy that got a text from his mom. And she said, everything okay? Haven't heard from you in a few days. And he said, sorry. He said, yep, sorry, Ma. I just came out of the closet. And you can tell by the text that it took a while for her to respond.
But when she did respond, she said, that's great. I always had a hunch. And he wrote back, I'm not gay, Ma. I meant coming out of the clinic now. Autocorrect. And she said, oh, I see. And he wrote back, the real issue is, you think I'm gay? Three question marks. This is one of my personal favorites. I've read this one on the air before, but it's one of my favorites. Came from a father to his son. And he wrote, your mom and I are going to divorce next month. And the concerned son wrote back, what? Three question marks? Why? Call me, please, question mark. And the father wrote back, I wrote Disney and the phone changed it to divorce. We are going to Disney next month. Why would you tell me that on a text, Dad? 25 years.
I love you guys. I always thought mom was a bee anyway. I'll be on your side. This text came from Amanda. It said, don't worry, seriously. He's crazy about you and he loves you so much. He told me the other day that you're the first girl he'd ever thought about the Fuhrer with. Took a while, but the person finally texted back in all caps WTF. Question mark. And the person wrote back, okay, so that was supposed to say future that you're the only girl he's ever thought about the future with. Not the Fuhrer. Not the Fuhrer. Adolf Hitler. Right. Der Fuhrer. When I'm with her, I think about der Fuhrer. Yeah, Hitler. She's the first girl I've ever actually thought about Hitler with. Before her, I thought about other nice things, but with her, it's the first girl that made me think of Hitler. Yes. This one.
Came from Brian, and they have his last name pixelated out. Came from Brian. So how was the first date last night, bro? Did you score? And a friend writes back, not quite. First date, we went to dinner, then walked her home, and then I killed her outside her house and left. Easy, OJ. The friend wrote back, killing her seems a bit harsh. Did she order the lobster and filet mignon at dinner or something? The person typed back in all caps, kissed her outside her house and left. WTF. There you go. They can be embarrassing. They're amusing. They are beyond amusing. I love them.
Lawyers for Michael Jackson and his doctor are worried about Nancy Grace. The reason? Because they're going to be apparently televising the doctor's deal. And so it's going to be an issue. And the reason they think it's going to be an issue is because they did the whole thing with Casey Anthony on television and they think that... Because these jurors are not going to be sequestered, they'll have the opportunity to be swayed by people like Nancy Grace. They will not be sequestered. They will not be sequestered. Wow. Guess they didn't think that it was necessary. And so they're not going to sequester them. And it could be a problem. We'll find out. You guys ready to shoot out? Do a little World Cup action? Jay's coming in. We got to go out. You got to turn on the world fee panel. It's on. And let's do a mic check.
Let's do a mic check. Hello, hello. Can you copy? I hear you. I copy. Okay. There. All right. So are you guys, what are you guys going to do? Should I go out there and call the action? Absolutely. All right. Here I come. LB, you want to stay here? Or what are you going to do? I don't know. What should I do? Roll roll. Yeah, come with us. All right. So we're all getting set up out in the hallway. Here comes Mikey. All right. Now we're videotaping this. I am. Very worried. Mostly I'm worried for myself because I'm standing in the goal. I'm standing where the net would be. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to move so that I'm behind Chris who is videotaping. Left foot only. And what we're going to do here is we are going to play soccer. We're playing let's what? What do we call this? Let's shoot out.
Now, Woods, for the record, let me just describe what we're looking at here. We are in a business office on the seventh floor, and our building goes around in a big, giant circle. It forms a circle. The hallway forms a circle. Now, in the middle of that circle is where you catch the elevators, and we've opened the doors. And the doors are now acting on each side of the hallway as the goal. Woods is standing on one side of the hall and Jay the other. Woods is barefoot. Jay's got on a pair of DC tennis shoes. Let's get this thing going. It's a blue rubber ball. The kick has been made and Woods made practically no attempt to stop it. And it went sailing past Woods. Woods did not block that shot. Here comes the next one, and the kick is up, and it hit Woods, and Woods did block it. Not bad, right, Lauren? Not bad, not bad. Impress you as a female? Not at all. All right, here comes the next kick, and it's left-footed, and Woods has moved. Oh, that hit Woods right in the foot, but he blocked it. Okay, Woods is now limping, limping bad. It was his broken ankle, and it hit him directly on his broken ankle. And I'm not.
Let's just stop for just a moment. Look at Woods. Let me put that on you. He's wincing. He's wincing. You're going to see when we play this back on the video, you're going to see that that ball hit Woods right in the ankle. I mean right in the broken ankle. All right, now Woods is going to kick left-footed, and Jay is going to try to stop it. Here we go. Left foot kick. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You kick like a girl. No. No. I disagree with that, Woods. I think you kick like a six-year-old girl. It is soccer. All right. All right. Here comes the next kick. Oh, gosh. He got one passed. He got one passed. Not bad for a little lady, huh? Not bad. All right. Here we go. Here comes the next kick.
We're in the hallway. Management doesn't like when we do this. Oh, right at him. Well, he kicked it right at him. He kicked it right to him. He kicked it directly to him with as little power as could possibly be delivered. Tie break. Woods is limping over to his side, and Jay is about to kick left-footed. Oh, wow. Didn't get past. Didn't get past Woods. Woods is limping back over. I bet he rebroke his ankle. Here comes the kick. Maybe there is absolutely zero power in his kick. I mean, just no power. There is just no power in his kick. Woods is standing in the doorway and sailed right past Woods. Woods again making no attempt. No attempt to stop it. Here comes Woods kicking.
Realigning the ball, which is limping up. Oh, girlish. Wow. That looked like Chrissy Snow from Three's Company kicking a ball. That was the most effeminate kick I've ever seen. Nice beaver. Oh, my God. Wow. Holy cow. He's a lady. He doesn't use the left a lot. Nice beaver. That was an awesome kick. I break on that last one. Once as an athletic guy, I was not expecting that. Hey, I scored twice on him. I know. He scored one more goal than I did. I know, but your form was what surprised me. Hey, whatever gets the job done. Joe Soccer out there scored one more than me. Next time you say grab a bat, he'll have to take a kick. Did you win? No, he won. Exhausted. Congratulations, Jay. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Oh, wow.
That was simply incredible. I broke my toe. Oh, wow. Do you think you broke your toe? Yeah. That last kick, when I kicked it, my foot rolled up over the bowl. Not even barefoot. I can't kick with my left foot. I didn't have shoes on either. I have an idea. Can you go into the next room and call in? I want you to feel safe. I'd like to interview Stephen R. Woods. I want to get inside his head psychologically. And so I think he'll feel more comfortable if he's not having to sit right in front of me. And he can do this, but he can do it as an interview and in an interview form. I won't be cackling right in his face. Right. Exactly. Exactly. So let's get him on the phone right now. Joining us now on the phone is my good friend, Stephen R. Woods. Hi, Steve. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you? I'm all right. Now, listen, this is a interview that is going to be sort of a psychological interview. As you know, people were just listening to you participating in something for the radio called Let's. And today it was a physical activity where you were trying to block soccer balls being kicked at you and, in fact, had to kick soccer balls at Jay. Now, my question is.
When I suggested that you could get hurt, what were your thoughts? You know, there's a risk. There's an assumed risk with, you know, everything I do. Yes. Yes. Well, wait a minute. That isn't altogether true. I don't know that there's an assumed risk when you speak on the radio. I mean, you're just sitting there. Well, that assumed risk is you're going to get made fun of. Okay. All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. Now. I interrupted. You were saying that there's an assumed risk in anything that you do. Yeah, and what you do when you're somebody like me is you weigh the risk versus the reward. Now, the risk in this situation was something either breaking or re-breaking, and in this situation, both. We've now broken a new toe, possibly, and re-broke most likely an ankle. That may be. Yeah, that hurts a little. It's broke. It's probably broke. And now, do you feel the reward outweighed that risk? Yeah, I do. Okay. All right. All right. I do, too, for the record. It was hysterical. The audio was hysterical, but I must say that when people watch the video back and they see you in a very dainty way run up to the ball and kick it. Yeah.
They're going to laugh, and there's just no doubt about it. I'm aware of that. There's no doubt about it. It's funny because he's fast. Do you feel the competition was fair? Yeah. Okay. It's my fault. The one thing I would have done differently is worn shoes. I was barefoot. That's the one thing I would have done differently. Because Woods took a... He took a ball directly to the ankle. Direct. I made that save. It was a kick save. Ankle. And it hit me right in the ankle. Right in the broken ankle. Yeah, you blocked it with a broken ankle. True. Now, listen, soccer, as you know, Mike, is not my forte. Really? Nor is it many American men's forte. However, you know, I think I did okay. Jay is a soccer player. He's a soccer coach. Yes. And he scored one more goal than I did. Now, if we were on the baseball diamond and I had one less hit than him,
or one more hit than him, I'd be embarrassed. I'd be really embarrassed. Sounds like a challenge. Oh, would be all the way in. Leave it to Beaver. Jay would lose that one for sure. I would be willing to put any amount of money on Woods. Mike, or if there was a tire 20 yards away, who could throw the most balls through it if I beat him or lost him by one? Oh, I would take that challenge. Let's do that one. Let's do that one. We can do that one. A football, Jay. Maybe on the roof of the parking garage. Or a baseball. We can do it just in the hallway here again. Make the tire even smaller. Dude, I am all in. You just made my day because you're going to get the floor mopped with you real good. We've got to make a great bet out of that or something. If he's not accurate, pal, I can throw it on a pinhead. Would you be willing to put up some kind of bet that's just outrageous? $500? No, let's do it. It's got to be not monetary, but like... Wacky. Pride. We'll think about it. I'll do it in a heartbeat. Wax your entire body. Oh, dude. He's already hairless. I want people to go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show and make suggestions of what the bet could be. Yes. Let M1s come up with it. We're going to do accuracy with a football. Accuracy with a football. Throwing through a tire. Yeah. We should do multiple balls, like baseballs, footballs. He's going to get you, Jay. I don't think so. I think he's going to get you. That's a pretty accurate question. I have complete confidence in you.
Come in here, Woods. I have to tell you something. I love how he's in the other room. I'm going to tell him. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Well, I'm not going to tell him. Wait, wait, wait. First of all, before we go any further, I want to acknowledge the fact that you give everything you have. You do. You're a good man, Woods. You are. Thank you. You're a good man. And I love you more than anyone on this show. And you're a loyal man. That's a true statement. And you are willing to take not only physical pain, but you take what I call emotional pain. It's true. Okay? Nobody. And it actually takes somebody with a great deal of confidence to be able to absorb this. Okay? Okay. Which is the only reason that I feel comfortable as a Christian doing what I'm about to do to you. Oh, God. What? I have something in my possession that was sent to me yesterday by Lauren R. O'Brien. And you do not know what it is. I'm going to post it on our Facebook page. Okay. And I want you to know that I love you as a friend. What the hell are you talking about? It's not even a big deal. It's like nice. Almost. I'm telling you now that it will cause you a little bit of embarrassment. A little bit of embarrassment. A little bit? A little bit of embarrassment.
Oh, boy. Did she find an old C-shot or something I took? No. Oh, wow. Which I've never done. What the hell is it? Well, if you go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you'll find out with everyone else. Come on. Yeah. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. On FM 94.9. It'll have to wait just a moment because I have got to tell you about AIS. AIS is the greatest. They give you incredible, incredible discounts. Now I'm talking about discounts for multiple cars. You get a 15% off if you're a good driver.
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A car that flipped. We've got a signal alert here in Oceanside. It's on the 5 northbound right before Bassalone Road. It's actually a trailer that flipped. Two left lanes are blocked. CHP is on the scene. The 805 northbound before Palm Avenue, there's a large truck over in the right lane that's not moving. CHP is on the way, trying to move them. Out of the way. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a $24.95 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. Woods said, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. And my thought was, is he talking himself into that, or is...
Because the one thing that I am fairly certain of is that he doesn't, quote, not care. Listen, we had planned to do a little news in sports here. Maybe for sports we'd just say the lockout is still kind of going on. Sure. I don't know how much weight my voice will carry in the sports world now. Still carries weight. It still carries weight, bro. Does it? Yes, it does. A lot of weight. Kick me when I'm down. Let me see. Yeah, Jay, you listen. I'm going to call back the police dog right now. You are a police dog. You need to heal. Oh, I just saw the picture. Oh, my gosh. There are 67 comments. Nice, Bieber. To explain. To explain. This sucks. You're really gay. There's nothing really else to say about that. LOB suggested to Woods that he go to, what's it called? Hyde Edwards Salon. Edward Collins Salon? Hyde Edwards. Hyde Edwards. That's down in Little Italy. And Woods went and apparently got a permanent, I'm not sure, we'll find out in a moment, but your friend, LOB? My friend Rissa.
She works down there. And she took a picture, unbeknownst to her, that I was going to use it against Mr. Woods. Right. She said, when are you going to come back in and see me? And she took a picture saying like, hey, Woods is down here. Where the heck are you? Right. My wife also goes to Rissa and got her hair extensions. Got it. And now let me try. I'm going to do my best to describe what I am looking at. Now, L.O.B. sent me this photo yesterday. Unbeknownst to me. Unbeknownst to Woods. And I will tell you that I stared at the screen. And made an instant decision not to call Woods. I texted it to you and said, you're welcome. There are 74 comments. Oh, my gosh. First comment was from Woods, who kept hitting refresh until he found out what it was. And when he did, he went, oh, God. And his comment is, oh, no, please, no, please, no, please, no. Okay, so what we're looking at is what looks to be a very chic, high-end salon. Beautiful. A lot of ladies go there. Yep. I can see why just from the photograph. It looks very avant-garde and at the same time very contemporary. Very. Very comfortable. Chic.
Chic, chic. Very nice word. In the photograph, you can see the various ladies' magazines. It appears to be a mademoiselle. And then you see a large woman sitting on a leather chair wearing jeans, flip-flops, and what appears to be a plastic bag around her head. She's wearing a black smock. And she has one of those hair dryer domes over her head. And is reading like an Elle magazine or something. Cosmopolitan. Cosmo. Particularly interested in the article of how to get the best lift for your roots. How to please your man. I'm going to read some of the comments. M1 Adam simply wrote, Holy S. M1 Richard wrote,
Amazing. M1 Ryan put it best when he put dot dot dot. My sentiments exactly. M1 Morgan wrote, my jaw dropped. M1 Edward wrote, can I get an updated pic with his new perm? M1 Clint wrote, ha ha ha ha ha. The PHC don't come easy. PHC is what Woods calls the perfect haircut. Damn straight. M1 Scott says, well, at least he's reading a Playboy. Wait, that's Cosmo. True story. M1 Ashley wrote, amazing Hollywood's is at his finest. M1 Anthony, I think, also put it well when he wrote, hey. M1 Jordan said, what's up, Big Perm? Big Perm. Ah, Big Perm. Okay. M1 Richard wrote, you know how I know.
Dot, dot, dot. M1 William wrote Woods. WTF, dude. But I'm all woman. M1 Mindy wrote. You ever just get your tips frosted real good? WTF. I have beautiful hair. That means we're the friends, right? We're the friends. Why the face? Oh, why the face? M1 Aussie. M1 Aussie don't. Who, by the way, is brilliant. Yes, he is. Wrote. Easy, Snoop Dogg. I wish I knew how to quit you. M1 Darren wrote, you want to talk about it, Woods? M1 William posted, ever just post an all-time great picture? If you want to see the picture we're talking about, go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. M-I-K-E-Y S-H-O-W. Like the page and scroll down a bit. You can see a picture of a man.
Six foot tall, good looking man. Believed to be a man. Wearing a black smock with a plastic bag over his head under one of those big domed hair dryers. You know how I know you're gay? Because you macrame yourself a pair of jean shorts. Are we still friends, Wood? It's debatable. I don't care. Oh, you should. I don't care. You should. May I speak? He had to be deep in that article to not notice. picture being taken. Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. I don't care. I have a perfectly good explanation. I'm not done. I'm done. M1 Spencer M1 Spencer wrote, Woods is reading 10 ways to keep your man happy. M1 Laurie M1 Laurie writes, made worse by the fact that he's reading Cosmo. It's the only thing there. It was the only thing. It was. To your defense. To my defense. To your defense, there was no Sports Illustrated. Correct. That's because men don't go there to get their hair cut. True. Listen, now you get to decide, Woods. I am fully prepared to defend you, but maybe that would be emasculating and you'd rather I don't, and you would just rather speak to this photograph.
But I'm fully ready to defend you. Fire away. Anything you got. Okay. I'll take them all. I'm going to defend you. May I defend you? Yeah. I don't need defense. Yeah, of course you don't. There is nothing to defend. Listen, Woods is a dude's dude, and that is that. He has currently got a big dip of Copenhagen in his mouth with a Yankees cap turned backwards. That makes you a man? No. It does not. I know a couple women that are dudes. Listen, hang on. Not that this, this doesn't make you manly, but Woods has had his fair share of the ladies. Now, to everyone else's defense, he did work at a place called the Mashed Potato Club. Yeah, do you remember that? Do you remember that, Woods? Of course. It was a gay-friendly place. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden. Now, he is, in fact, a man's man. That not only likes baseball, but plays baseball. Yes, on a semi-professional pay-to-play adult league. We don't pay to play. He drives a truck. Mm-hmm. I wish that were louder. Yeah, you make it louder. Please don't. I'm still trying to figure this out. I see that. It's been a year and a half. Longer, but who's counting? New system. Ow. Yeah.
There you go about Woods. Woods is a man's man. It doesn't need to finish. I will say this, though. That's an odd picture. Yeah. It was a... Private moment. Yeah. You thought. I had this... Well, let me start. May I start at the beginning? Please, please, please. The other day, we had a meeting. I took my hat off, and you took a picture of me with my hair. I had a hat head, and it's long. I've been growing my hair out. More than likely. Yeah. Working hard at it. Yeah, I've been working hard at growing my hair out. I've always wanted long hair. I finally have a job where I don't have to get a haircut if I don't want to. But I'm all woman. Not all woman. Blow and blow. Can I finish? Yes. So you took this picture and some girl made a comment on there that said, wow, Woods has really let himself go. No, that's not very nice. That, let me tell you, I called the wife in from the other room and I go, My quote was, are you effing kidding me? That was my quote. You are a smelly pirate hooker. That's not a very nice thing to say. So. It's a safety hazard. It is. I have weird kind of kinky hair. Like it's kind of, it's curly. So L-O-B. Beautiful hair. I'm leaving. No, don't. I'm leaving. No, all right. That's it. That's the last one. I'm done. That's the last one and that's it. You're going to let me talk or I'm leaving. We're going to let you.
Talk. Okay, okay. So, L-O-B and my wife Jamie said, you need to go see Rissa at Hyde Edwards. She's a wizard with hair. Of course. And I said, okay, I'll try it. When I got there, she recommended, Rissa recommended a deep condition. Yes, a deep condition. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Woods? You went there, though, for what now? Well, I had a nice little Thursday planned out. I had a 12 o'clock appointment to get my hair cut. I was just going to get a haircut. That's what I thought was going to happen. At this place. I was going to get a haircut. At Hyde Edwards. I wanted to try. She's a wizard with kinky, afro-type hair that I have. You don't have, quote, kinky, afro-type hair. Yes, I do. I have these little curls in the front and on the sides. I get hit on by black girls all the time. Fair enough. He has textured hair. Yeah. I have the same. It's wavy. Yeah. So anyway, I go to her and I'm talking to her at first. Wavy. But I had a nice little Thursday planned. 12 o'clock appointment. We were going to get out of here. I was going to go get myself a nice sandwich down in Little Lily. Have a nice day to myself. Of course. Have a private day. Just for me. Not for you. Not for her. I'm calling it.
How dare you try to frame this as if you went by yourself because you wanted a long time. Yeah, I did. You didn't want evidence. You didn't want witnesses. Well, no. It's a haircut. You didn't want anyone. Do you have a camera crew following you when you go get your manicure? No, but you know what I do. And I didn't hear Hyde nor... Hyde Edwards nor hair. Nor hair of you. Right. It's a private thing. You... Private! Hello, Miss Lady. I was trying a new thing. And I wanted to try it by myself. And I like Little Italy. Great sandwiches. So I went to get a sandwich. So it was kind of a win-win. So I get a sandwich and I go in. And I'm talking to her and she goes, she takes my hat off and she goes, wow, that's a lot longer than it was at Coachella when I met you. And I said, yeah. I said, well, what can you do with it? She goes, well, I think first things first. We need to start with a deep condition. And I said, okay, what does that entail? And she goes, well, I'm going to put this on there. I'm going to put this bag over your head, and you're going to send another heat lamp for 20 minutes. It's a bag, Woods. And I said, okay. And meanwhile... Look at the fun bags on that horse helmet. Can I tell you... Yeah, no, I'm sorry. You know what? That was the last one. Let me tell you the caliber of beautiful women working in this salon. Oh, yeah. Try to blame it on that. No, no. I was... Point out you're straight. Yes. No, I was mortified. More...
I picked up the Cosmo because I didn't want to look anybody in the eye. I understand. Now, you are saying that you were mortified. Yes. But that picture doesn't say mortified. It says relaxed. It says confident. It says relaxed. It says I am having a ball. I'm going to hang out with these two smoking hotties. He's having a zen moment. So anyway. I got the deep condition and it was awesome. And then she cut my hair. Yeah. And I had asked her, what do you think about maybe straightening my hair at some point? What do you think about it? Just an idea. And she said... You said that? Yeah, I did. She said, you can't do that. She said, men would kill for the waves that you have in your hair. Oh, shut up. She said... Shut up. True story. That is a quote.
She said, you're lucky. You're lucky you have them. It's true. Are you listening to that, guys? Fellas? Yeah, you would kill for these waves. That's it. Hey, listen. I'm going to look like a fat Bradley Cooper after this, all right? So don't worry about it. I didn't know you were so sensitive. I'm not. I don't care. I'm going back. You can care less. 137 comments. Oh, my goodness. I don't care. What size panties do you wear? Good one. Did you write that one? You didn't have to. Oh, gosh. It's the best. Well, at least I have hair. Wait, wait, wait. Are you spring or summer? At least I have hair. I understand. I understand. 36-year-old man, full head of wavy brown hair. Woods? Yeah. These are the iconic photos of our lifetime. Yeah. Okay? There is the photo of the dogs playing poker. There is the photo.
James Dean bit out in front of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Absolutely. There's the photo of, what is it with the man and the woman? Oh, I was thinking the man on the moon. The pitchfork. Oh, yes. What is that called? I can't remember. American Gothic. American Gothic. Yes. And then there's Woods Salon. And it's simply Woods Salon. Not embarrassed. Don't care. That photograph, in my opinion, could be a poster. Should be a poster. Should be a poster. And when I tell you that I want that on a t-shirt, I mean it with every ounce of my being. I want that. I'd wear it. On a t-shirt. I'd wear it. Well, that's a lie. Got man. Got man. We need to come up with good ones. Got man. Caption. Caption content. Caption content. I'm resending the photo. And we're doing a caption.
And then the winner gets a t-shirt with it. The winner gets something from that salon. They can go with me to the salon the next time I go, which will be in one month since I already made my appointment for the next time. The place is badass. Wow. I think that badass is maybe one of the poorest choices. You'd love it. They do all kinds of spa treatments there right up your alley. It'd be perfect. You'd love it. They have a spa, a sauna. You are rubbing your body right now. Yeah, with Cornhuskers lotion. That's the 17th time you put on lotion today. He is so nervous. Because I know people are going to be dicks. What? Listen, I don't want a t-shirt. Listen to me. I don't want a t-shirt. I want seven t-shirts so that I can wear one each day. Go board. With a different caption each day. With a different caption. Each day. Just to drive Woods nuts. Let me tell you, Woods. Woods. Woods. I've seen many things. That's a good one. That's a good one. Fat Bradley Cooper in about a month. Just take it from me. Not necessary. I mean, it's just not. Yes, but it does add some enjoyment. A little. Oh, man. Payback's a mofo. Girl, how drunk is it? Did you have mimosas there? No. I didn't.
Woods, that's a fair question. Girl, how drunk is you? I think that's a fair question. FYI, they offered me some champagne and I did not take it. Shaniqua has a question for you. Girl, how drunk is you? Answer the question, Woods. Woods, it's a legitimate question. Stone cold sober. It deserves to be answered. What was that, Shaniqua? She's backing off. She has one more question for you. Girl, how drunk is you? Sober. Did you have an appletini while you were there? I did not. Truth of the matter is, he did not have an appletini. Nor did I have champagne. They offered me a beer. I didn't have it. Bloody Mary? I just want to get the hell in there and get out of there. Okay, L.O.B., L.O.B., when you got that picture on your phone, I want to know the thoughts, the emotions, the feelings. I want to know what happened in your body when you saw that picture. First, I went...
Oh, wow. Then I kept looking at it again, and I pinched it outward so I could zoom in. Oh, boy. You know, on the iPhone, you can, like, pinch it, and I was zooming in on his face. He's really enjoying himself, and he has no clue this picture's being taken right now. Go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. FYI, you can't hear a thing when that dryer's on. Well, the best thing is that... Rissa wasn't trying to be like. She's getting you back. She was being like, hey, come on. You got to get down here. And I was like, well, I guess that kind of stuff's going to go on. I'll be there every day. The winner should win a trip down there with me and Woods or something. We go together. Wait, now you want to go, Mike? No, I just want to experience that. With Woods. With Woods.
More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Oh, stop it. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What's next? Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. This is the FM. Hey there, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Tuesday night, A Perfect Circle played the open-air theater. Slightly Stupid hit Cricket Wireless on the 30th. August 2nd, it is the next FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up. You can see the Bell Brigade for $6. Transfer Play the Belly Up August 4th. San Diego Music Awards are at Humphreys August 8th. And a few more good shows just announced. Two Nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues September 7th and 8th.
Company of Thieves, Death Cab for Cutie, Lady Tron, TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys, Portugal the Man, and Blink-182 and My Chemical Romance. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Apparently, the automotive world still refuses to make luxury more attainable. Guess it's time once again for Chrysler to lead by example. Now get great deals on the new Chrysler lineup, including the all-new Quiet and Roomie 300, the fuel-friendly Chrysler 200, the top-down-for-fun 200 convertible, and America's best-selling minivan, Chrysler Town & Country. Luxury is yours now at the Chrysler Jeep Dodge & Ram Summer Clearance Event. Well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles can lease Chrysler 300 Touring for $319 a month for 39 months with $29.99 to at least signing. Tax, title, and license extra. Call 1-888-Chrysler for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Take delivery by August 1st. 20-city, 31-highway, EPA-estimated MPG with a four-cylinder, six-speed AT front-wheel drive. Based on 2010 total minivan sales. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC.
Hi, this is your friend Woods for Dr. Sandy T. Feldman in Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I got my eyes done a year ago, and it was great. I have 2015 vision in both eyes. Dr. Sandy T. Feldman is a miracle worker. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. What? I can attest to this. Yes. Before going to Dr. Sandy T. Feldman, you would have had to have read that Cosmo with glasses on. That's true. That's true. Or with contacts. Or contacts, but not anymore. Now. Dr. Sandy T. Feldman is honoring the heroes of our community. If you are a man's man and you are a police officer, firefighter, military personnel, teachers and their spouses, she's offering you a savings on LASIK. Or a guy puts his head under. Call Dr. Sandy T. Feldman at 858-452-3937 or go online at www.clearvieweyes.com. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Medical Center. Open up!
This is your friend Woods. See ya. Now in Carlsbad, T-Mobile, the phone zone. Come check out the newest smartphones running at blazing fast speeds on America's largest 4G network. And T-Mobile has affordable unlimited data plans so you can surf the web whenever you want. While you're at it, learn the ins and the outs of your mobile device at the Phone Zone Learning Center. The first and only wireless learning center of its kind in the nation. The technology experts at the PhoneZone Learning Center will teach you how to use your mobile device to its fullest, no matter what carrier you have. Visit T-Mobile, the PhoneZone, and the PhoneZone Learning Center in Carlsbad at 5617 Faseo del Norte, across the street from the Carlsbad outlets, or call 760-494-0335. That's 760-494-0335. Go to T-Mobile, the PhoneZone, for all your wireless needs. T-Mobile's HSPA Plus 4G network is not available everywhere. Use of some features require a data plan. See printed materials in the phone zone for additional details. Brides and Grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, July 31st. It's the Bridal Bazaar. I love it. There's so many choices and I love to have lots of choices. I mean, I kind of have an idea of what I want, but there's so many choices here. It's really awesome. I like what I'm seeing here. There's a lot of variety and kind of where I'm getting a lot of ideas. It's so much easier to have everything in one spot.
be able to see what you actually like. The Bridal Bazaar, you'll find everything you need to plan the wedding of your dreams, all in one place, all on one day. There's just so many vendors to choose from, from everything from flowers to invitations. Cakes, definitely. I'm full from all the tastings. The dresses were gorgeous. Everything that you could possibly imagine. It's wonderful. It's kind of a collaboration of ideas that's coming together. It's got to be a perfect day. Plus, you can register to win a pair of diamond earrings from John Franklin Jewelers. The Bridal Bazaar, Sunday, July 31st at the San Diego Convention Center. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Definitely go to the Bridal Bazaar because it's all you need. Things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now you can. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back. Save thousands on our entire fleet of pre-owned service loaners. Like on a 2011 BMW 328i sedan. Lease for only $249 a month plus tax. Only $249 a month.
or lease a 2011 BMW 335i sedan for just $339 a month plus tax. Just $339 a month. Plus, you'll get the remainder of BMW's comprehensive four-year 50,000-mile limited warranty and maintenance only at BMW Encinitas. On Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real, click bmwencinitas.com. Warranty terms and conditions available. This is the sound of Marcus trying to find a branch of his bank on the other side of town. Please take the next left in 17 miles. Oh, come on. You'd think there'd be one a little closer. This is Tony looking for a Chase Bank. Now, where's that new branch? It should be just... Oh, there it is. Marcus. Recalculating. Recalculating. Yeah, great. Recalculating. Thanks for helping. Tony. Welcome to Chase. Wow. You guys are opening up everywhere. Marcus. Again. You are no longer on the road. Wonderful. You are no longer on the road. Where am I? You can always rely on a Chase Bank to be close by your home or office.
With new branches opening all the time and a suite of new technologies, Chase continues to make banking more convenient. There are over 5,300 locations nationwide, with more coming to San Diego soon. Visit chase.com slash mynewbranch for your nearest Chase location. More branches in more places. Take a step forward and chase what matters. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. This report, it's brought to you by Caltrans Speeding and Highway Work Zones. It's deadly. That's why fines are now up to $1,000 or more. Plus, you get those points on your driving record. Slow for the cone zone. Still working a signal alert here. This one's coming out of Oceanside. It's the five northbound before Barcelona Road, a trailer that flipped. They're just waiting on a tow truck here. The two left lanes are still blocked. Also in Oceanside, on the five northbound Oceanside Boulevard, there's a Jeep that's out of gas over in that right lane. And the five northbound, mile a car's way, an accident. Two cars, they're over on the right shoulder. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement.
for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with me. I am Chubby. Lauren. I know all the rules. I just break them. Woods. Don't go to the doctor. It's in my family. We don't go to the doctor. And Jay. I just got reminded of the worst haircut ever that I had. I forgot about. I had the rat tail. On FM 94.9. Sent me very funny photos in the past. L.O.B. has sent me very funny photos in the past. This photo is his grand opus. Happy to be of help. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. New York Dolls. Too Much Too Soon. It's almost not fair to allow M1 Aussie Don't into a caption contest.
Because he's that brilliant. Did he win? In my opinion, yes. What does it say? It says, you know how they say that a picture's worth a thousand words? Well, this one raises a thousand questions. Really doesn't. Just trying to get perfect hair, you know? Just trying to look good for my wife. Yeah, sure. He then added to that. More like... Homo is where the heart is. Good one. That is not PC. That's a good one. Not at all. Not PC. For the record, I'm not a homosexual. You are not. You are not married. I've closed quite a bit of business in my career. Don't you grab me all the time? And don't you grab me all the time? You guys grab each other. We're bi-curious. Isolate. I don't care. I can care less. I'm going back. I'm going to see her again and again. And nobody can stop me.
All your revocation of the man card bit is weak. You are. They cannot revoke it. You're not revoking it. It's not going to be revoked because it doesn't need to be revoked. Exactly. Easy revocations. Kid wants good hair. I want good, thick, curly hair. I saw that. And I'm going to do what I got to do to get it. Okay? Wow. Fat Bradley Cooper, FBC, is on the way. Trust me. Yeah. And one AJ says, does this hair heater make me look fat? That's so sweet. That's mean. Hair heater. That's the thing that always gets me is some guy will call me Chubbs and then I look at his profile picture and he's like, he looks like a meatball hoagie. Like he looks like a meatball. It's just fun to poke fun. Is it fun? Yes. Tons of fun. Badass. Tons. What are we, pals? We grew up together? I got friends at home that said to me I'd break their jaw. Whoa. Somebody's getting a little emotional. You know what it is? It's Cosmo Magazine. It does that. It gets people riled up. Those articles will... It fills your head with what you feel like the magazine needs you to be, what society is pressuring you to be. Is that right? Time of the month? I'm not going to be this perfect thin model. Do I chocolate? No. Yeah, you look at those magazines and it distorts your image. It's impossible to keep up with those. And you can't keep up with them. It's got a not so fresh feeling. A not so fresh feeling? Feeling.
Filling? Filling. Like a donut? Yeah, like an eclair. Oh, you'd know about that, too. The hits just keep on coming. I'm going to take it to the house about an hour and 20 early. I'm going to go and take it to the house. You're good. Am I? M1 Surf Daddy from Cardiff. What was the word of the day? That is correct. We met Surf Daddy at the opening day. Yes, you did. Right on, guys. Much love. Great weekend, too. Congratulations. Hang on the line, please. I love you, Woodsy. Thank you, buddy. Love you, too. He's the greatest, man. Take the hits like the best of them. Nobody can take a hit like you. Should I tell my story again about this morning? Please do. I need some of the heat off me. All right. Yesterday, I went outside in our backyard, and we have speakers set up to play music. And so I was playing a playlist.
And when the playlist ran out, the music stopped. Now, I fell asleep reading a book. And when I woke up, the music had stopped, came back inside, smelled delicious food. What'd you have? Last night, Rebecca made baked chicken with twice stuffed potatoes. Oh, yeah. At the completion of dinner, it was 6 o'clock at night, and that's the time I go to bed, and so I kissed my lovely wife goodnight, kiss kids goodnight, and then I retired too. And I went to sleep. I wake up at 1.15 a.m., I got up, I went downstairs, I did a little work on the computer, and then I came upstairs at about 3.30 a.m. to take a shower. Now, when I take a shower, I will listen to a playlist.
And most of the time, these playlists consist of various theological, what would you call them? Discussions. Dissertations. Dissertations. Presentations. Yes. And this morning was no different. And so I listened to, I don't know, I would say half an hour of a theological discussion. And then when I got out of the shower, I turned off the speakers. But to my surprise, I could still hear. A sudden, dramatic Damascus Road conversion. Where you can name the day. The theological discussion happening. Of people who haven't had that kind of experience. And to my dismay and shock and horror. I realized that this theological discussion was being played outside over the speakers as loud as they could possibly be played. And I don't do this very often, but I ran downstairs and turned it off. Now we have new neighbors who probably thought, oh no.
We'd heard that this dude was like, you know, Mr. Christian guy, but wow. I mean, really, with the theological standard. Conversion and regeneration happens immediately by the power of God, by the work of the Holy Spirit. And he's playing this as loud as he can. And you're either in that state or you're not in that state. Even the rabbits and the snakes are asleep at that time. The coyotes are sleeping. They're like, what is that noise? Can't tell you the day in the hour. No, no, no, no. No, just listen to my theological stuff. Hey, are you playing something on the speakers outside? Outside of our house in our backyard? No, I don't think so. Whatever it is you're listening to in here, I don't know what it is. It's also playing out back. Hey, buddy.
Woods, what are you doing in the shower? Nothing. Hey, Woods. What are you doing? You know that you left your speakers on outside. I hear from my house. From your house? You live five miles away. I know. They can hear it in space, babe. You need to. That's not very cool. I know that you want to spread the word and it's part of your bed and everything, but you need to just... Woods, can I get you something to drink? Okay. You know what's not cool? What? The fact that you're nude and that's my wife. And that's first time. Not, actually. Okay, well, okay. I'm going to turn that guy off. Your neighbors are going to freak out. It's still on, babe. They can hear it outside. We everyone can hear it. It's to determine your theology by your experience. Arizona can hear it. Your experience is probably going to bother your experience. I don't know how to turn it off out there. Is it not enough that you... Have your own show to talk about this stuff? You have to... I only talk about it on Fridays at the end of the show. Well, not according to Facebook. You talk about it every five minutes. So... When it comes up in the news, right, babe? Those are the, quote, haters, though. What? Dude, I mean, listen. You got your own radio show. You do speaking bits on the weekend. You don't need to blast it to all your neighbors.
Okay? I believe, too. Doesn't mean I'm going to go around playing with the speakers. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Woods, here's your coffee. Thank you, dear. Put your clothes on. You too, Woods. It's so nice in here. Babe? Yeah? Yeah. Wow. I'm in the shower. Talking to him or me? I'm talking to you. Okay, I will. Do you have a robe? No, I meant my wife, Rebecca. Hi. Not you, Woods. Okay, I just need a robe. You should be getting my shower. I have an extra robe. Silk, are you okay with that? You're not going to give him one of your robes, baby. He's got to put something on. Make up your mind, babe. You want him naked or do you want him in my robe?
She's coming in the shower, babe. She's coming in the shower. Hi. Oh, boy. Me, me, me, me, me. I want a shower. What's your experience? You do a little question. See? Yes, see? Yes, see? You need your look. Get out. It makes it manly out of here. Get out. You have a black luva because that's what a man would have. What are you rude with here, babe? Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Let's be wilder right here. Not like carrying my little sound effect machine everywhere I go. Do you want to get out, babe? Get out. Get out. Yes. Do you like my new haircut? Wow. Oh, there you go. That's a good move. I have three scientifically proven reasons. Social networking is bad for you. People are mean. Is that number one?
People can be mean. I don't like it when they're mean to Woodsy. You shouldn't be mean. They're mean to you too, pal. They're mean to all of us sometimes except for Jay. Not on the fan page. Yes. Mean to everyone but Jay on the fan page. That's a true statement. Thank you all. I have not. On our fan page, I haven't noticed a lot of cruelty. I noticed cruelty on the other page. But maybe they are. I don't see it all. I'm glad. Maybe I've been shielded from some of it. Yeah. What do they say? What do they say? Nothing? Usually they are making fun of you because Jay did. Oh, it's like that stuff? It's like a pile-on. It's a pile-on. It's a pile-up. But I don't care. Feast. Well, you know who doesn't get made fun of for being fat? Fit people. Skinny guys. Me, namely. Me, mostly. If we're just counting a fee. So here's some scientifically proven reasons that social networking is bad for you. It can prevent you.
from actually doing real networking and being social. Psychologists have basically been studying the internet use of 100 and freshman college students. And what they said is that they found that if you're already shy, Facebook will make you more shy. I believe that. And students who fell into the shy category were more likely to have positive attitudes about things like Facebook, Twitter, stuff like that. And they spent more time on there. They also tended to have fewer Facebook friends because they never went out and met real people to add to their real friends. So in other words, shy people spend more time online instead of actually socializing. Number two, another reason they say it's bad for you. Men who love social networking are more likely to be emotionally unstable. In the real world.
Socializing normally makes people more emotionally stable. I do not socialize in the real world. Now, this is one of my flaws. In general, I am an introvert and I believe quite shy in front of strangers. Although, I don't have that feeling with women. With women, I'm okay. Make me very nervous. To be around. Especially men that are strangers. They make me nervous. Women. I feel absolutely safe. I feel emotionally safe. I feel physically safe. I feel all the way around. I feel safe. I'm good either way. That one does not ring true for me. It's like being in the Tommy Bahamas store. That's a safe place for you.
It's a haven. Yeah. It's like when you're having a bad day, somebody's making fun. Yeah. You go to TB and it's all good. Visit your friends. I haven't been there in four years. Wow. Four days. Depends on how you define years. Years. Yeah. Right. Hours, days. I bought a shirt there once in nine. In the last week. Several. You have several TB items at your home. Several. towels of some sort. There's all kinds of things. I have a Tommy Bahama towel that was given to me as a gift. As a joke, really. You also have a t-shirt. That microphone had a TB logo on it one day when I came into work. It was a dangling tag. So that's a Tommy Bahama microphone. You placed it there. I did not place it there. All of your Pina Colada glasses are Tommy Bahama fans. You're often caught singing, if you like Pina Colada, come with me to TB. To Tommy Bahama. Yeah. You changed the words to make it. Miami Bahama fit. I've never done that. I have not. Yeah, and then you sing Wasting Away Again in the TV store. You always try to find a way to make that fit into a song. You were singing Deftones the other day and you changed the words of Change in the House of Flies to I watch TV with you. Yeah. Everything, dude. Maybe Stairway to Heaven. Yeah, maybe. That's the first thing that popped in my head.
Mike, you were listening to Pink Maggot. Oh, that's a good one. By the Deftones the other day, and you changed it into Pink Tommy Bahama. Kim Dracula, if you will. You were listening to I'm a Hero by the air filters. Yes, and you changed it to I'm a TB. When you were listening to The Naked and Famous the other day, you kept putting TB in all their songs. That's right. Where Tommy Bahama is. Yesterday, Lauren sent me... This was super funny. She just had a... Yeah, sending pictures all day. Sent me a picture of the Tommy Bahamas store in La Jolla and wrote, need anything? He wrote back, how dare. He wrote back? He did. What's that like? Genius. He's gorgeous. If they did church service there, it would be perfect for you. Oh, gosh. Your favorite place. More favorite place. More favorite place. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. You don't not wear Tommy Bahama. I hate it. You don't wear it when you're in bed because you sleep nude. But any other time. I hate it. It's not true. It isn't true. It isn't true. Which part? If I get one more stupid Tommy Bahama picture. Of the weekend sales.
It's going to be every weekend. Do you get hit up every weekend? The chair? The chair at Costco. The chair. The chair. The cooler. The towel. The store itself. I've been tagged. The sales that they're having on the side of the road with the signs. I myself have been tagged in several Tommy Bahamut chair pictures. My wife sent me one. Anyway. You were saying. It's what you call. It's a one-way joke. It's not a street that goes two ways. It's a one-way joke. I send the joke. I laugh. Yeah. I'm done. My job is done. I am effectively tickled. Yes. The dude getting this picture on the other end, he didn't care. Not only does he not care, he didn't wear Tommy Bahama. Yes, he does. It's all he wears. It's not funny to you because you're like, okay, I get it. I get it. I wear Tommy Bahama. End of story. And the number one scientifically proven reason that social networking is bad for you is having too many Facebook friends will make your real friends not like you. Researchers at Michigan State created fake Facebook profiles and had 153 students rate the people based on their interests and how attractive they were. They found that subconsciously...
Having more Facebook friends makes you more attractive. But only at first. If you have too many friends, people stop thinking you're popular and start thinking you just search out friends on Facebook, which makes you seem desperate. According to the study, the threshold is about 1,000 friends. So I am five times as desperate. I'm about three and a half times. As desperate. Yes. The captions contest for Woods. Still doing this? It's phenomenal. How many? Somewhere around 400. Shut up. That's crazy. Are you serious? No way. Oh, yeah. When you count them all up, because now people are reposting the picture. Oh, great. It's become viral.
In a play of the Woods on Sports, somebody wrote in 70s font, Woods on Perms. It wasn't a perm. It was a deep condition. Big perm? It was a deep condition. Big perm? I said it, and I'll say it again. It was a deep condition. Woods on perm. It's like if you guys, Jay, do you condition your hair in the shower? I do it in the shower. Right, right, right. Okay, it's the same thing. It's just a little bit longer. Perm, perm, perm. Oh, my God. Did you see this? Wow. Oh, my God. You make a lovely lady. There goes the coffee. It's a nice rack. M1 Sarah. M1 Sarah is now on my list. She's now on my list. A picture of Woods. Woods' face on a well-endowed woman's body. If you're just tuning in, Woods. Got a permanent yesterday at a woman's nail salon and bathhouse and gay club, nightclub. Really? I just wanted to see if you were listening. I'm listening. You're not because I said so much stuff and you didn't do anything. He's busy looking at Sarah's profile pics. Am I? Woods went and got some sort of hair treatment yesterday and the person that did it is a friend of L.O.B.'s and wanted L.O.B. to come in.
And very innocently sent L.O.B. a picture of Woods as he was reading Cosmo with a big hair dryer over his head. With a plastic bag over his head and a hair dryer. It was a deep condition. Try to justify it. I'm not telling you what it was. It was a deep condition. L.O.B. sent me the picture and I've shared it on Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Who could have known? It's a private day in Little Italy. Just wanted to get a nice Italian sandwich. It's the greatest thing I've ever seen. Thank you, Rissa. Have a Dr. Pepper. We'll have a live studio audience in here next. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. That was a half an inch away from being the greatest thing I've ever seen. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. Does anyone want to explain why the cab driver's in the backseat? Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. So where's the best place to be this summer? Oh, I can answer that. Out front, leading the way with Ford.
during the Best Place to Be sales event. Ford's only the best-selling brand in America. Cars, trucks, SUVs, crossovers, everything you'd expect from a leader. They've got the Explorer, the brand-new Focus, the VS to the Fusion, the Taurus, all with innovative technology. Sync, EcoBoost, Active Park Assist. Of course, everything is very fuel-efficient. I'm telling you, the Ford Best Place to Be sales event. It really is the best place to be. See your San Diego County Ford dealer and get zero APR on a huge selection of new models or get cash back up to $5,000. We're also offering some of our lowest lease payments of the year. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. Ford, it's built for San Diego. Cash back available on Ranger V6 and includes trade-in bonus available to customers who trade in a 1995 or newer car, truck, or SUV. Ford Motor Credit financing required for bonus cash and zero APR. Available only on select models. Not all buyers work. Qualified residency restrictions apply. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 8-1-11. We're driving your dream car. Often requires high interest loans and frustrating paperwork. One lender in San Diego is changing the rules and making dreams come true. Mission Federal Union introduces a dream APR for a dream car. Starring rates as low as 2.99%.
Purchase your dream car with Mission Fed's Dream APR of 2.99% or refinance your current loan. This is a limited time opportunity. Like any dream, it'll be over in a blink. Just walk into any of 22 Mission Fed branches or visit missionfed.com and get into your dream car with our Dream APR. Dream APR for a dream car. Exclusively from Mission Fed. Sweet dreams. At Mission Fed, your success is our bottom line. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Programs, rates, terms, and conditions are subject to change without notice. Rate may vary based on credit qualifications. Mission Fed is federally insured by the NCUA. Do you find yourself staring whenever a Jeep vehicle drives by? Do you wonder where it's been? Where it's going next? Do you say to yourself, Someday, when the time is right, that's going to be me. Say hello to someday. Now you can get great deals on the new Jeep vehicle of your choice, including the newly designed Compass, the newly refined Patriot, the versatile Liberty, the iconic Wrangler, and the most luxurious and capable Grand Cherokee ever. It's time for other people to wonder where you're going next in your new Jeep vehicle. Now, at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance Event.
For the first time ever, get 0% APR for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 finance for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Offer ends 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. Sarah and her printer took a vow of silence. Why? Well, there was nothing to talk about since she switched to original HP Inc. She no longer had to yell things like, I'm out again, or ow, ow, foot, foot, after kicking the wall. You see, original HP Ink prints up to two times the pages than generic refills. So Sarah never had to kick the wall again.
It's Mikey for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Everyone thinks shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of Palboa and Convoy, and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done. As long as the sun keeps shining. Online at sunglassoptical.com. This summer, wars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men. Heroes are made. Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death? In America. We're in. Let's go. Critics agree. Captain America rocks. Here they come! It's pure excitement, pure action, and pure fun. Summer has saved the best for last. The women of America owe you their thanks. Captain America, the first Avenger in 3D for the future 13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Now playing. Now at the Home Depot, it's the Summer Home Organization event with low prices on the things you need to bring order to your home. Like a durable four-tier plastic shelving unit for just $24.88. It fits in your garage or closet.
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on FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better with women than I do with men. Lauren. And I'm a klutz and an idiot. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. Couldn't have chose a better day for them to come in here today. And I feel bad because Woods put the hat on and immediately everybody was like, why is the hat on? Why is the hat on? Everybody wanted to see. I'll show it to you. Hey, it looks good. He slicks it back. It's very Bradley Cooper. Well-conditioned. It's very Bradley Cooper. It's well-conditioned. Well, listen, it's been under a hat. It's been under a hat, a baseball cap. But it's nice. It's nice. If you go online right now. Patronize me, please. I am not patronizing you. It looks nice. It's smarter than that. It looks. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Okay.
Go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. What you'll get is a combination of Photoshop pictures of woods. As a woman. As a woman with the hair in the big dryer. Big breasts. You'll get that. Now we're getting some Tommy Bahama pictures. Weird. Of course. Anyway, all that stuff is on there right now. If you want to see it, somebody wrote as a caption, payback is a mo fro. Funny. How do we get that made into a t-shirt? What's that? What's that? Silkscreen? Get what made into a t-shirt exactly? The picture. There's no need. Of you under the hair dryer. I'm going to get mugs. I'm going to get a calendar. Different caption for each month. Same picture. We should do a monthly calendar every trip to the salon because I will be going once a month. There we go. How about like a Warhol, Marilyn Monroe, different sort of color? That would be rad, actually. I would like that. Or like Obama's Hope. Yes. We'll get a different caption. Yes. Love it. I like it all. Again, not embarrassed. Don't care. Okay. More mad than embarrassed. All right. It's hurt, sadness, fear. Yes.
I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That is Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. That's cross. Let's see. So, as it turns out, Lindsay Lohan is too poor to pay for a psychologist, according to her. She says she can't pay. And would like for... She was very upset in court yesterday. Because she can't pay for it. Oh, by the way, an M1 brought me a king-sized breakfast. How do I know it's a king-sized breakfast? Because they put a little crown on top of it and didn't skip one detail. In fact, there's a bunch of scrambled eggs, bacon, and little frozen potatoes that are like shoestring potatoes. Just the way you like it. Just the way I used to eat it. Prepare it yourself as a kid. Yes. That is correct. As a 12-year-old. Not a lot of 12-year-olds making scrambled eggs, bacon, and potatoes, but, you know, some did. Some cried when they couldn't have it. Some being you. Hypothetically. So one cried when he couldn't have it. I'm sure there isn't another one out there. I doubt it. I doubt it. I doubt there's ever been another kid that's cried because he couldn't have a king-size tooth.
King size meals. Felt that there should be some sort of an adjustment made. Of course. A special occasion. Well, yeah, we were going to Sizzler that night. And so why couldn't I have my king size breakfast and dinner? Breakfast and tacos and burritos. Calm down, Mike. That's not me. Isn't it? It's a clip. It's a clip. You have a king-sized breakfast. Isn't that enough? Give me four. Okay, there's one right there. I'm not saying that. There is a plate right there. Eat it, dude. It's not me. Okay, all right. Getting all worked up. The following story is real. It's also... There's a term in professional wrestling. It's called checking his oil. Hulk Hogan says that Andre the Giant... Once checked his oil during a match. For those of us that don't know. I mean, what sort of imagination must you lack to not be able to figure out? No idea. Really? No clue. Come here, I'll show you. It's a dirty move. Is it a finger in the eyeball? No. Not that orifice. Well, I guess that made it pretty clear. Well.
No, it could have been the ear. In the ear. Nose. Throat. It was somewhere else. Okay. And apparently it's a very dirty move. You shouldn't do it. Literally. They do it in amateur style wrestling, but they rarely do it in professional wrestling. But according to Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant checked his oil. He says that... Oh, gosh. It was just gigantic. Lauren O'Brien. I knew it. Filthy. Enormous. Huge. He says that he would do this to other wrestlers as well, and it was especially awful because of Andre's massive fingers. Oh, man. How do you do that to another man when you're wrestling on the floor? Well, I think that when you're... Well, you're not always wrestling on the floor. Sometimes you pick him up over your head. Oh, my gosh. Corn husk. Hello.
It's one of those kind of deals. He had the biggest freaking hands you've ever seen. Yeah, he had Abe Vigoda hot dog fingers. It's hideous. All right. So, employers are more likely than their bosses to take breaks and shop online. Employees, excuse me. Employees are more likely than their bosses to take breaks, shop online, use Facebook, and have sex during work hours. Now. Here's the deal. Check this out. Biggest complaint from people about their bosses is that they go out for lunch too much. That's the biggest complaint. In fact, they say that among U.S. employees, 56% of U.S. employees say, my biggest beef with my boss is that they're always going out to lunch. They're just, bye-bye, see you later, going to lunch. Why do you care? Well...
Because it's probably one of those long lunches. That's kind of what I'm surmising from that. And they're like, hey, happy birthday. Well, since when do you care when the authority figure leaves for a couple hours? Because I think they're feeling like, well, how come I don't get to take... Because you're not the freaking boss. The freaking boss. A lot of people have to eat through lunch or just sit at their desk. That is true. 45% of employees here in the U.S. complain about work time chats that... the boss has with his family his friends so they're working and bosses boy hey how you doing what's going on and calling their friends calling their family well i mean wouldn't that kind of bug you the expectation wait a minute they've earned the right to just screw off how is it screwing off talking to your family they're talking to their family yeah they actually work you know what They have earned the right to screw off. That's why they're the boss. No. Damn straight. I think that it's the opposite. Boss has more responsibility. Sure. You get to be the boss by doing a better job, right? Absolutely. But you're also entitled to slack a little bit because you have more pressure on you. 42% would say that they don't like the fact.
That they're planning parties and vacations and doing that kind of thing while they're working. This is bothering Woods. I can tell he didn't like it. All right. Are you my boss? Technically. Okay. Are there certain things that I do that you don't have to do? Like what? Well, we all have different responsibilities. Okay. Okay. So I wouldn't put it that way. I would say... Careful, Woods. No, no, no. I'm saying that Mike has earned the right to do certain things that I... I should cut my teeth on. You know what I'm saying? Like what? Um...
See, because I just think we have different jobs. Well, with the robes, like us having a senior robe. Right. I don't get the same robes that you do, but that's fine. You've got 23 years in the biz, pal. Jay pulling the chair out for you. Chris making your coffee. I don't wear robes. Right. You haven't earned the right for Chris to get your coffee. I have not. I polish your scepter, but I don't mind. That's the thing. That's a true story. The old scepter polish. That's true. I'm trying to be serious here, pal. I'm trying to be serious. All right. 10%? say that what they don't like is the fact that their boss leaves work early. Now that would get me. That one gets me. When the boss leaves early. What did I miss? Did I miss? Is that what we're calling it now? The old scepter polish. And then he went like this. He thinks about one thing. How can I bring it back to sex? I love my scepter polished. Holy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Just so overt. I don't know. Dear Stone Tap Diary, I bet tomorrow Mikey will talk about a tragedy or something. How can I bring it back around to boobs? Dear Larry, these pictures indicate the following motions I'll do on the air. I will not...
say motion. However, I will bring the subject back to aforementioned motion. Dear diary, here are the things I will try to work into a conversation tomorrow. Hot dogs, scepter polishing, wiener time, rocket, fence posts, geysers, submarines. Foot-long sandwiches from Subway. Panyons. Pepperoni. Mountains. Trees. Kielbasa. Ketchup bottle. Chorizo. Guinness can. Permanent markers. If I could just bring these things up, I would be so happy. Chain link fence. It don't matter. A Barbie doll. I can take elderly rape and turn it into something sexual, y'all. It don't matter.
the freaking master. I hope someone does so I can take it that way. Ain't nobody going to care. Because it's me. You know what they're going to say? L, capital L-O-L. J. J. J is the best. R-O-F-L-J. L-F-A-O. L-F-A-O-J. I have not succeeded unless I get a text that says J is the best. Dang it. I missed it this Wednesday. I must bring back sex. Sex! Can you hear me? Sex! Sex! Sexual intercourse. Fornication. Sex! Kim's like, what are you doing in there? Just show prep, baby. I'm practicing. Hey, I'm being a producer, alright? Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Sex! You're waking Maddie up. Sex! Sex! My goodness. All right. So 10% say that it's the boss who's leaving. Now, listen to this. Listen to this. Now, as it turns out, employees are worse than the boss. 75% of employees are more likely to go for a walk during the middle of their day. Now, I remember guys that would do that. They'd go for a walk. How dare they? Have you ever known the walker? Yeah, but he was like 60.
Not at Clear Channel. When we were at Clear Channel, there were like walkers. I did the walk. It's great. You would go walk? Of course. No worse than the smokers. They get their breaks every day. Why do you get to go out there at all? He's right. 50% of employees are more likely than their boss to take a smoke break. Happy birthday. Hey, it's no birthday, pal. Trust me. 53% are more likely to leave the office to go. What do you think it is? Make love. Nope. Doctor's appointment. Nope. Nope. That's a good call. They're all good calls. Somebody just yell out. Yeah, yell them out. Anybody got any? What do you think? Errands. Pick up the kids. 53% leave the office to go do this. Nobody said it yet. Nope. Good. To go shopping. Groceries. Are they talking about at lunch or are they talking about just any time? I wonder. They're leaving the office. They're just bailing. They're bailing. It's weak. Now, even when they're at their desks, employees are goofing off more than the boss. True story. True story. Workers are 91% more likely than the boss to shop online during work hours. Check. And one.
131% more likely to use what? Facebook. Facebook and Twitter. I bet that's got to be just rampant. They started blocking it from a lot of companies, so you can't even go on there anymore. Well, on one hand, why? What are you guys raising your phone? You can still use your phone. You can still use Facebook on your phone. I used to work as a software consultant. And when I did work at the office where we are allowed to have internet, I would go and I would cruise the internet. Then when I would go on site at the client, they would block my internet. I would get my work done like five times as fast having the internet blocked. Oh, yeah. Because you just didn't work. Nobody would want to work at a place that would shut off a portion of, you know, the internet. Oh, it happens a lot. I know it happens a lot, but nobody, I mean, I don't think anybody's. I don't think anybody really likes it. I think most people would go, gosh, that's kind of weird and harsh and whatever. But if you think of it from the employer's point of view, you go, holy cow, man. I mean, I'm paying you. Why wouldn't I? You're just skating around on that thing. Yep. And they probably are, too. I mean, the boss probably is, too, except for our boss. Our boss is Rick R. Jackson. I did not see that dude on Facebook. I don't see him tweeting a lot. No. I just don't think he is.
Anyway. He's a big fan of Foursquare, but other than that. Yeah, he's got to check in at Costco. Right. Wherever he's going. 570-1949 is our number. Did you give me a time, Jay? I did. Because if you did, I missed it. I'll give it to you again. Let's see. There we go. Let's see. Tiger Woods ex-caddy. We talked about it yesterday. If you missed it, Tiger Woods fired his caddy. Longtime caddy. Steve Williams. And this dude is not holding back. The last 18 months has been a particularly difficult time counting for Tiger. Obviously working through a scandal. He's had a new coach, a swing change. And, you know, the last 18 months has been very difficult. And I've stuck by him through thick and thin. I've been incredibly loyal. And then, you know, and then to have this happen, I mean, basically you could say I've wasted two years of my life. The last two years.
You know, I certainly, along with a lot of people, lost respect for Tiger. I don't buy this bit. I don't buy it because I go, he says, well, I wasted the last two years of my life. And I think that you were like everybody else, dude. You were just waiting for Tiger to turn it around. I mean, OK, so if you hadn't stuck with Tiger, what would you have done gone? Sorry, I'm out of here. I know you're the biggest golfer ever to play the game. The best golfer ever to play the game. But I'm going to leave. Even though I've made millions of dollars working alongside you. Hasn't he? $100,000. I don't know about millions. If he wins a big tournament, it's like $100,000 for the caddy. Yeah, all his expenses come out of that. Like I said yesterday. He pays for everything himself. He doesn't have a big sponsor to flam around. I mean, it's a different thing. I see this guy's point. It's a little bit of sour grapes. But I see his point. Cry me a river. I mean, for God's sakes. And, you know, I pointed out to him when I came back at Augusta in 2010 after what had happened that he had to earn back my respect. Really? Yeah. They're friends. You work for me. They're freaking friends, man. You work for me. You get paid to come around with me. You don't get to earn back any respect. See, that's kind of the thing. Like, I can understand a boss saying,
I have to earn back your respect. I do think that it's strange for the employee to say to the employer, you've got to earn back my respect. You don't just go having sex with all these strange girls and expect me to carry your bigs around. I wish I could do that. Like he didn't know. Probably, too. He probably arranged some of them. He says he didn't know. He says he had no idea. Listen, I saw him walking into his room one night. with a girl that was clearly hot and Cuban, and I thought, ah, Elon's gotten a 10. Please. Use your putter, mate. Yeah. You're going to use your putter out of the rough, eh? What was that, Jay? Use your putter, mate. Again? Use your putter, mate. Thank you. Anything else you want to say? Use your four-iron. All right, thank you. I'm sorry that he was doing that, but obviously that isn't the case right now. No, that is not the case right now. A couple more of his comments. You know, I wouldn't ditch somebody when the chips are down. I stuck by Tiger. As opposed to moving on to another golfer. He was just like us. He thought Tiger was going to turn it around. He was just waiting for Tiger to turn it around. All right, give me this. Tiger Woods possibly could be somewhat of a diva. Maybe a little bit.
He put up with that guy's crap. I said it yesterday. I'm going to play. I'm not going to play. I mean, this guy had a steady gig, very steady gig, the steadiest gig of all. And then all this stuff happens. He doesn't say, well, I'm going to move on. He sticks with Tiger and he says. Move on to who? A million other golfers. All these golfers have, they got. Actually, golfers that win tournaments. They got caddies. Some of them do. I think Rocco Mediate doesn't have a caddy. Some of them do. Some of them don't. This guy, Steve Williams, carried Mike Tom's bag in the U.S. Open. You're assuming that Tiger's a diva. How do you know what their relationship was? They were friends. His game is off. He's desperate to get his game back. I mean, sometimes you have to clear the slate and start from scratch. Oh, I agree. He has every right to fire the guy, but I'm also saying this guy has every right to be sour about it. I guess it's all in how it was handled. If I just said, hey, man, look, my game's off. I think we're going to part ways. Man, I loved working with you. It was fantastic. How dare you? Hey, wait a minute. You had sex with girls. I love to have sex with girls. I know, but I stayed there while you did it. But, you know, that doesn't really affect our relationship at all. I played golf. You were carrying my clubs around. What's golf? Wait a second. He means golf. Golf. What do you mean golf? What did you play, Tiger?
He played with black mascara and long black hair. He was goth. Steve, that's goth. Isn't that what he said? Yes. Close enough. He said goth. Like if you make a goth and you go, I'm so embarrassed. No, that's a gaff. That's like a goof? That's a gaff. Oh. Yeah. That's not a knife. What the heck did he say? Say that again, Jay. That's not a knife. Isolate. Just a straight isolate. Isolate. Make some noise in the studio audience we got in here. I was actually really glad to see this. Definitively, what do you tip? Definitively, what do you tip? And it's in all situations. Oh, Jay is not going to agree with this. 392, here's four. What he's about to hear. Mickey show coming up in minutes. Hot quiz, hot shot. There's a brick heading for your... at 50 miles per hour. What do you do? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What do you do? Or shoot him a text. 949Mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. Your home is where you feel the safest, but a silent threat may be lurking. One you can't see, smell, or taste. Is carbon monoxide the leading cause of accidental poisoning deaths in America? I'm Kevin Nida, president of the California State Firefighters Association.
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I killed my first deer when I was seven. On FM 94.9. Get ready for Jay to disagree with this. Yeah. Wow. It is about tipping. And there's a magazine called LA Weekly that has put out a definitive guide for tipping. I think my salon advertises in there. Do they? Yeah. It's nice. Now it's your salon. Yes. Let's see. They say 15% is no longer the standard. Of course. Ten years ago. And they said at the very least 20%. It is now 20% at the very least, even when you order delivery. What? No. Well, wait, wait, wait. Delivery, yes. Takeout, no. Yeah, takeout, no. Oh, they cover takeout. I'll get to that. Oh, good. Now, baristas. There is a tipping guide for baristas. This is good information. Everybody should know this. When you're at Starbucks, a dollar in the jar is standard. Now.
If you go every single day, that means that you need to be putting some money in there. Now, I did not know that. And I didn't know it out of pure kind of ignorance. And not just ignorance, but also sort of like self-absorbed. You know, when I'm in there, I'm not thinking at all. I'm thinking about work. I'm thinking about everything. where i am but you have a right to do yeah but i should be tipping and i'm glad i know this now and i will there's a big jar right there like i said there could be a big turtle right there and i am completely in my own head and in my own world and i'm not paying attention i go into starbucks and i gotta go pee pee every morning I got to go pee-pee and I got to get my coffee. And that's all I'm up to. I've always tipped them. Well, you're really a superhero. John D. Rockefeller? Yes. I do based on service. And I think that that's what it should be. It's a suggestion based on... It's hard to tell for your coffee because they're just taking your order and then they make your coffee. But if that person is pleasant and makes me want to go back to that place, then they get a tip. Well, guess what? If you order a scone, 20%. Get.
On top of the coffee. Coffee and a scone? 20%. Not a dollar. Whatever. Cheese Danish. There you go. Well, where does it end? Do we have to tip now the guy, the grocery clerk? I'll get to it. Okay. Bartenders. Make it right. L.A. Weekly, who doesn't play it conservative, says a dollar a drink. Easily. Okay, now I thought that was very low. Oh, no. Standard. Service industry guys in here say low. One guy says okay. Oh, higher. Go higher. I would say at least a dollar. Depending on what you get. If you get a beer, it should be a dollar. If you get a mixed drink, it should be a little more. It says that if you're at a trendy place that serves the $15 Red Bull and vodka is $2. If I got a $15...
Red Bull and vodka, first of all, I'd relapse. So you'd be off the wagon. I'd be off the wagon. Your sobriety would be gone. My sobriety would be gone. Right, which would be bad. Yeah, but if I tipped on that, because I'd need to. Of course. I mean, if I relapsed, you still got to tip. Right. $15 for a Red Bull and vodka, I would tip $3 on that. I would think that that would seem normal. Is that okay? Maybe even a fiver. Give them a $20 and walk. Now you have a $20 drink? No, I'm serious. Come on. I would just leave this place. Yes, exactly. I'm buying $50 drinks. Woods, you're going to have a lot of drinks that night, and so $5 is just weird. It's weird. It's $20 a pop. Carry a flask. $20 a pop. Come on. For the first one, at least. At least for the first one. Easy Hollywood. Always start bigger and go down. To consider that you're going to spend $20 on a drink is out. On the first one. On the first one. And then you can taper off, man. You start bigger. Then they remember, hey, that chubby guy with the really good hair, that guy tips like crazy. I'm going to get his drink. That guy over there that has hair that looks like it was recently deeply conditioned is a great tipper. They never really see what you tip. They drop it into the jar. There's no jar at the bar. There ain't no jar at the bar. Most of the bars I go to.
I have a jar. Where are you going? The Elk Club? Excuse me. Excuse me. How was that Lahaina? How was that? Most of the bars I go to. Is he going to bars? Yeah. That's what I do in my spare time, Mike. Don't worry about it. You're into theology. I like the bars. I was at a bar yesterday. All right. Here's another one. If the waiter is also the owner of the restaurant that you're in, it happens. Sometimes the guy that owns the place is serving you the food. Sure. You still leave 20%. Of course. Doesn't change because he's doing normal waiter stuff. You still got to do it. Picking up a to-go order. I'm going to get mad. If there is a tip line on the credit card receipt and the person at the register packed your food, 10%. Not true. I've been working in that industry since I was 14. There's always a tip line there because it's the same system that the waiters and the waitresses use.
Hey, Ella B., this is the new rules. This is the new way. You must follow. I'm not following. You must. You must. Nope. If you don't, you're labeled a monster. No. Then make you put on a monster t-shirt. Monster t-shirt. So be it. I'll wear it proudly. You can say monster or you can say I'm cheap. If I get a big order, if that person is nice to me, tip. If they are a little brat, nope. A little line straight through the tip area. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. That's insult to injury. I got Chinese food last weekend and the guy was kind of a D, so I didn't tip him anything when I picked it up. What did that look like? What do you mean? He was just rushed and couldn't really understand him and he was just kind of being a D. Name? Yeah, like, who are you? Woods. Steve Woods. I come out here and rough talk to him and run him off. I think it's cultural. Woods from the market show. Hey, it's me. You know that. I don't listen. You don't? Come on, pal. You need to tune in. 94.9, 6 to 10. Hollywood. Hollywood. You need to tune in. Maybe give the kid a discount, too. I don't listen. Why don't you listen? Because I don't listen to the radio. Can I get my food? I called 15 minutes ago. You said 15 minutes. I'm here, and it's not ready. We're still making because you ordered so much. Is that right? Fair enough. We're still making. You said 15 minutes. You took my order. You knew what it was going to be. I took your order, but didn't expect.
You know, we never got called like this before. Dear, what is taking so long? Just get the order and go. It's unbearable. Valets. $2. $3 if you really like your car. I have been tipping wrong at the valet. Too much? Way. Way. Because I didn't know. I had no idea. The strippers, are they on there? No. No. It's a flat 20. Let's make some noise in our lives. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, y'all. It's Jason Randolph Isbell. Otherwise known as Jason R. Isbell. For AT&T.
I want to tell you all about U-verse. You know what a U is shaped like? Get it? Anyways, you can get it for only $29 a month. That's for six months, and that includes a DVR. Now, let me tell you some of the things you can do with it. If you're Woods, you sure can't dry your hair with it or eat it like an eclair. But you can record up to four shows at one time on a single Diver. Now... Go ahead, Wood. Jay, that's DVR. It says... Digital Video Recorder. It don't say Digital Video Recorder. It says Diver. You couldn't say it even if it did say Digital Video Recorder, but it's DVR short for Digital Video Recorder. Diver service and receivers are included with it with no extra charge. Now, you can program your Diver from your wireless phone or your computer, whatever the hell that is. It's AT&T, 877-only-ATT, or click them online, att.com. With a line to the side, TV. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Price for you, Family TV. New customers only. After promotional period, standard rates apply. Taxes and other charges apply. Offer ends 11-5-2011. Access to HD at additional cost. Apparently, the automotive world still refuses to make luxury more attainable. Guess it's time once again for Chrysler to lead by example. Now get great deals on the new Chrysler lineup, including the all-new Quiet and Roomie 300.
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Stop into a branch today or go to chase.com slash mortgage cash back to learn more about our great rates and to find out how your mortgage can start paying you back. Mortgage cash back only from Chase. Chase, what matters. All home lending products are subject to credit and property approval. A Chase personal checking account required with automatic mortgage payments. This program is not available in all states. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. School's starting soon, so things are getting crazy. But it's also the perfect time for awesome deals for me to stay in touch with mom and dad. Like a brand new MessageMate 2. Absolutely free from Cricket Wireless when I trade in a competitor's phone. Hey, you ready for choir practice yet? Mom, it's football today. Anyway, the MessageMate 2 has a sweet cordy keyboard. Great for texting and emailing. And it comes with unlimited talk, text, and web for just $45 a month. I don't hear you practicing any scales up there. Defensive ends don't do scales. Do your family a favor and get a free MessageMate 2 by visiting a Cricut store or MyCricut.com today. So smart, so Cricut. Limited time offer requires new activation. Trade-in phone must be in working order and be assigned to the ported number. See store for details. Coverage now available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. Get equipped to succeed this school year with a MessageMate 2 free with no contract when you trade in a competitor's phone.
Just visit a cricket store or mycricket.com today. So smart, so cricket. Hey, it's Mikey, and I want to let you know about AIS. You know, direct carriers can only quote you their rates. And you could be missing out on better coverage, better rates, or discounts from another insurance carrier. You'd never even know it. But AIS, see, they give you the quotes comparing insurance company rates. AIS, they're an independent agent. That's what you want. They shop dozens of different companies and they do it for you. AIS customers, they're reporting a savings of over $500 a year on their auto insurance just because they switched to AIS. That is the average, but I saved $1,600 when I switched to AIS. Now you can call them 800-777-4AIS or you can go online, AISinsurance.com. Either way. It doesn't take long. It's a free quote, and it could potentially save you thousands of dollars. 1-800-777-4-AIS. I'm a bubble. Light as air. Effervescent. Sparkling personality. I float about a foot and a half before it's all over. But if I could, I'd float my way to Vegas. Ooh, tough break, bro. Maybe I'll make it. The first bubble to sip champagne poolside. Dance under the stars.
I just want to dance, dance, dance. Life is short. Summer is shorter. Plan your trip at visitlasvegas.com. Ollie wrote an opus about mythical creatures named Ollie Gators. That's right, Ollie Gators. And he needed a super ink to print his masterpiece, so he bought an original HP ink cartridge. They print up to two times the pages than generic refills, so every page was artfully printed. Just what he needed for the greatest novel ever written. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now you can. The BMW Encinitas Demo Sales Drive is back. Save thousands on our entire fleet of pre-owned service loaners, like on a 2011 BMW 328 iSedan. Lease for only $249 a month plus tax. Only $249 a month. Or lease a 2011 BMW 335 iSedan for just $339 a month plus tax. Just $339 a month. Plus, you'll get the remainder of BMW's comprehensive four-year, 50,000-mile limited warranty and maintenance only at BMW Encinitas.
On Encinitas Boulevard, between the 5 and El Camino Real, click BMWEncinitas.com. Now you can. Warranty terms and conditions available. See store for details, 335. Buy number BE435499, 328 I5 to choose. 36-month lease, $39.90 plus first month's payment tax and registration to its signing. Zero security deposit, 20 cents per excess mile over 30,000 miles with above average credit. Offer ends 8-31-11. Brides and Grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, July 31st. It's the Bridal Bazaar. Meet more than 200 exhibitors with everything you need for a perfect wedding. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? Woods. Yeah, I was a bad influence. I was a dirt fat. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Hey, I don't know if we have any prizes left, but we got to give one to M1 Jeff, who just posted on our fan page. Let's make some noise with our live studio audience. He took Zach Braffs.
coming out open letter to TMZ. Yes. And he replaced Zach Braff with Woods and the picture of Woods getting his hair done. He's getting a haircut. And I've never seen anything more incredible. It's pretty awesome. It's pretty awesome the way it was done. We can give him a pair of tickets to the Pro-Am MMA fight at 4th and B. That's unbelievable. This Sunday. Give us a call. Jeff, that was very well done. Well done. Well played, sir. Well played. We can print that out and hang it up in here. Yeah, we don't have to. We could probably do that. Frame it, maybe. All good ideas. We don't need to. Maybe get a portrait print done. For sure. Want to let people know that there are six days, ten hours, and nine minutes left until the Wipeout Viewing Party at Dave & Buster's. It's going to be July 28th from 7 to 9. It just never ends. The fun on this.
Freaking show. It just never ends. The freaking show. You were on network television. You're a big baby. It's network TV. Network TV, bro. You were chosen out of 75,000 applicants. They don't call you Hollywoods for nothing. Poor guy. Listen, I think it's a big deal and we're all going to be out there and we're going to be supporting you. Hollywood. I won't be there. I will not be there. Yes, you will. You will. If you come there expecting to see me, you won't. Because I'm not going to be there. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis' new movie, Friends with Benefits, out today. So is Captain America, the first Avenger. What showing are you going to of Friends with Benefits? Which one? Are you going to go to the matinee? It's kind of like your motto in life. Yeah, it's cool. Friends with Benefits. So are you going to go to the matinee? Kind of like a personal creed. Like a dinner and a movie bid? It's actually written on the t-shirt that I'm wearing right now. It's your tramp stamp. Yes, it's my tramp stamp. It's a butterfly and it says friends with benefits around the outside of it. In parentheses, do it. Exactly. Does anybody have anything going on this weekend that they want to announce or talk about or promote?
or whatever. Nope. I believe we are good. End of the show on Friday, I give you my testimony and tell you about my story and where I was and where it brought me. My story is a lot like I'm sure a lot of people's of just a very, very low self-esteem and feeling extraordinarily ugly when I was growing up. And a lot of people can relate to it. And because of that, I felt really different. And like I didn't... Even though because of my sense of humor, I was able to fit in with a lot of people. I always felt like I was keeping this secret because I was five years old. I was sexually abused and I never told anybody about it. In fact, the first time I ever talked about it was during my testimony on the radio. And before that, I had not spoken about it publicly. The reason that I do is because I know that there's a lot of people that have experienced something similar. And I think of it like, I kind of think of it like a broken bone that doesn't heal properly. And I say that anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. And I felt a lot of those emotions as I was growing up. In my 20s, man, I was an angry guy, really an angry person. Even into my early 30s, I was a really, really angry person. And got very, very lost in my 20s.
During that period of time, no one could have possibly imagined how alone I felt inside and how lonely I felt. Even though I had friends, the friends were very superficial. I didn't have deep friendships. I didn't have meaningful friendships and meaningful relationships. But I was also a manipulative person. I was also the type of person that would lie, the type of person that would cheat. I was the type of person that would be self-serving. And you had all that going on with this guy that was with me that was with all that low self-esteem and getting addicted to alcohol. With all of those feelings inside of me, I just wanted to do anything I could do to stop feeling that way. And I didn't know how. I truly didn't know what to do that would make me feel different. So I tried everything. I tried alcohol. I tried drugs.
I tried losing weight so that if I lost weight, people would like me. I constantly wanted people to like me. By 2003, I was fully addicted to alcohol. And lying in bed one night with tears pouring down the side of my face, I gave my life to Jesus. Now, what I mean by that is I said, I said, I need you. And I was broken, completely broken. And I said, I need you. And I'm sorry for the stuff that I've done wrong. And I hope you forgive me. And I want to turn away from it. And I need you. And very slowly, things started to change for me. If you find yourself in any of these types of feelings, feelings, if you've felt ugly and worthless and unwanted, I can tell you that my personal story is that when I developed that relationship,
with Jesus Christ. I no longer felt that. That's a true story. I also have to tell you that I did not lose my insecurity. I'm still insecure about things. I'm still insecure about things. But what I can tell you is that it changed my life and gave me hope. Hope that I never, ever had in my life. I never had hope. I never had any form of self-esteem. I do now. I stand confidently now. I mean that. And it's a result of his influence in my life. I only tell you because I know that there are some of you that are listening that need it and want it. That's the only reason I tell you. I tell you because I go to a church that was voted one of the 20 coolest in America. It's called North Coast Church. And that's the deal. A lot of people are looking. MikeyShow.com at the top of the page, it says help.
And if you click there, you can find help on all the things that I've experienced in my life. Depression, eating disorders, which I have. I have experienced that. Addiction. Any of the things that I've talked about, they're all there. I play a show, a song at the end of the show on Friday, and it's meant to give you hope. Hopefully because there's somewhere in it you can relate to. It's by a band called Red, and it's called Not Alone. Love you, M1s. Love you very, very much. And we'll talk to you again on Monday. Thank you for supporting our radio show. We'll see you on Monday. And Hillary's up next. Mikey shows up.