The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/23/10

0:00KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Friday with a live studio. Welcome to the program. A jam-packed show for you today. Absolutely jam-packed. And you can get on the phones with us right now if you'd like. 570-1949 if you want to call or text if you're shy. 949mikey at gmail.com. Comic-Con in the news, we're going to be talking about that. Woodsy and I are headed out to Comic Con tomorrow. It's going to be a first for both of us. I've never been. Never been. Never been. Yeah, right. Maybe you guys bring a little video camera or something. Yeah. Consider it done. Yeah, for sure. Maybe you guys dress up. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yes.

2:43What could you dress up as? Let me tell you, if I could get my hands on a Princess Leia outfit real quick, I would do it. Princess Leia and Jabba the Hutt? Yeah, yeah, Princess Leia and Jabba together. I'll do the Princess Leia hair, but I'll do Jabba the Hutt's body. That would be good. No, no, the two of you guys. One of you has to be on a chain. Yeah, I like it. I don't. You don't? No. Are you sure? Yes. Think about it. Batman and Robin? No, I'd do Batman and Robin. Yeah. Who'd be Batman? Who will be Batman? You guys just be real ambiguous. You have to be second in command, so you have to be Robin. Plus, I think it's hysterical that you're taller, yet I'm Batman. Maybe we really make this happen and bring a video camera. How great would that be? So funny. That would be torture for me. No, you're going to not fit in if you're not dressed up. I'm going to be wearing shorts and a V-neck.

3:41Imagine the look on your face having to dress up. Oh, my gosh. You actually fit in more not dressing up now. People don't dress up as much. They don't? No. It's up. It's true. I don't dress up for Halloween. Like, I haven't dressed up for Halloween in 15 years. Who are you? I know. What am I, six years old? Am I getting a bag of candy? You and me both. It's the worst. You and me both. It's the worst. You guys. Oh, I can't. The last time I dressed up for Halloween, I was obviously still drinking. Really? Yeah. I dressed as Leatherface. It's the only time I've ever shopped on eBay. I got a little toy chainsaw. Oh, man. That's scary. Oh, man. So stupid. You should dress up when you take little Jakey out trick-or-treating. Yes. That's for him. No. We all dress up. Mike doesn't even like the trick-or-treating. I love it. I'm afraid of him getting scared. You guys are a bunch of Halloween Scrooge. I know. I am the biggest Halloween Scrooge. Because you're both scared of ghosts? No. I'm like...

4:49Really? With the Halloween parties? I'm 35 years old. Me too. I think the whole show, come to La Jolla next Halloween, we trick-or-treat and we make it right. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine? You get gold bricks. Yeah, we'll get Rolexes. Yeah. Bentley's. There's a lot of king-sized candy bars. I bet there is. I bet there is. No, she means it actually as tall as a king. It's a king. So six feet tall. Statues made out of chocolate. That's right. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 40 years old. Woodsy is now 35 years of age, and he doesn't wear glasses anymore. I do not. And he's in here. And in a little bit, we're going to be telling you about how he may be quitting smoking. Yeah. We'll tell you how. We'll tell you about that in a second. Go Woods. Lauren O'Brien is our resident comedian, and she's our assistant producer. She is 29 years old, which is almost... No. Almost the optimum age for the most attractive women in America, we found out. Yeah, you're not even in your prime yet. You're not even a few years away. People are most attractive at 31, apparently. Women. Women. Yeah, not men. At 31 years old. Gearing up. There you go. Sienna is our news girl. She is 25 years of age and about to have a baby. Yeah. She is not far off from having that baby. We were talking about...

6:12The other day, what would happen if she started to have the baby on the air? I wouldn't care. I mean, it might be weird, but it'd be great. Oh, my gosh. It'd be good radio. She hasn't even decided yet how far she's going to work. What thinks a tidal wave is going to come out of my body if my water breaks? I'm scared to death. Dude, it's not. What if it splashes on my leg? It's like a water park in there. What if it splashes on my leg? Then you clean it off. Maybe the urban survivor can help us. That's right. Could be. I don't even know how much is there when your water breaks. I don't even know. Usually you start getting contractions before your water breaks. Now it's like 30% of women's water break first. Really? Yeah, and it's not very much. It's not. So when you start to have the contractions, you get to the hospital, that happens when you get there. Yeah, sometimes they have to break your water. Like, it's not like in the movies where it's like, oh, my water broke. With Rebecca, they did. Yeah, had to break it. Break her water. Yeah. But I wasn't around on that side of the table. Weird. Zero percent. No way. I wouldn't even be in the same room. My mom also, by the way, I want you to know that our producer is Jay. He is 47 years of age and separated by glass in another studio. I found out yesterday that my mom asked my dad if, you know, because back in the days when all of her kids were born, the father couldn't be in the operating room.

7:38Uh, when they were delivering the baby. So she asked him, would you, if you could do that like it is now, would you do it? He said, no, not a chance. Yes, he would. He said, no, he said, no, I mean, undeniably no, not just no, but strongly no. You don't think that something comes over a man and he's just so worried and needs to be involved and help his wife. No. Yes. He would be able to do it. No. A real man. No. I believe that, uh, that what happens is that, uh, you know, we. want the doctors to take care of doctor things. And we want to hold that little bundle of joy as soon as he arrives. It's a private moment between mother and child. Mother and child. Stop. But you want your hand held while you get shots. Yes. Yeah. But your wife can do it alone with strangers. Very true. Absolutely. Very true. Glad you guys figured it out. It's a bit illogical. Oh, I would be so mad if Todd wasn't in there. Yeah. Yeah, well, he will be. He will be. He'll be coaching you right up. That guy's terrified. He's like, you are the biggest wimp. Oh, God. That poor bastard. I know. He's terrified. That poor bastard. I'm scared of death. I'm going to kill him. So I have a question. Woodsy. Yes. Did you happen to hear the Mikey Show promo that aired on FM 94.9 yesterday? I did not. You did not? I did not. Okay. I didn't think so. Because I said on the promo, as soon as Woodsy hears this, he'll probably call me. And you never did. So that means that you don't know. What?

9:06Is more hidden audio of me being a D or what? Woodsy's getting punked this morning at 7.30. You've already been punked and you didn't even know it. Yeah. Look at Woods right now. He's looking at all of us. Are you guys kidding me? He's looking at all of us. He's looking at all of us like, what, what, what? What did I do? What happened? I hate all of you. While it was happening, I said to Lauren, I was just like. I love that it's always Woods. Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. My stomach is in knots right now. You're going to die. It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. It's good. It's good. It's brilliant. I'm racking my brain. Don't tell him anymore. Stop. You're not going to be upset or anything, but let me tell you this. Don't guess. When the idea came to me, I thought to myself, who can I do this to? Well, of course me. Well, and I considered everybody. Did you? Did you? No. My first idea was Lauren O'Brien. That was my first idea, and I'm like, I can't do it. I can't do it. She'll kill you. Yeah, she'll slit my throat and play in my blood. Have a party in the street. Yeah, she'll be like, look at Mikey's blood confetti. Throwing it up in the air. And I'm like, Woodsy, you'll love it.

10:21When it's all said and done. Holy crap, dude. I am nervous. I know. I can't believe I've got an hour and 15 minutes to wait. 7.30, it's going to be worth it. This was what the promo sounded like yesterday. I said, hey, it's Mikey, and tomorrow on the show, Woodsy is getting punked. Yeah, I know. He didn't even see it on the schedule. It said on the schedule. It's on the schedule. What's punked? I have no idea. I go, tomorrow, Woodsy's getting punked, and he doesn't even know about it, and when he hears this promo, he'll probably call me. And I never got a call from yesterday. I was at the hypnotist. I know. Did he listen to the station? He was at the hypnotist. I was at the hypnotist. Yesterday, Woodsy went to a hypnotist, and the hypnotist hypnotized him to stop smoking. Right? Mm-hmm. Woodsy hasn't had a cigarette since yesterday at 1 o'clock. Is that correct? Round somewhere. That's great. You did have one. I wasn't supposed to smoke yesterday before the appointment. You weren't? But I did anyway. And I told her I did it. And you did? She's not listening. Oh, my gosh. She knows now. I was supposed to lose 20 pounds before my gastric bypass. And I gained about 10. And the doctor, Dr. Meyerowitz, goes, I told you that I would not do surgery if you were to gain the weight. And you're very lucky.

11:46That I'm going to do surgery today. Wow, really? And I was like, I'm sorry. Well, I had my last one. I had a rough day yesterday. Not to be Debbie Downer, but my great uncle, Uncle Ed, passed away. He did? Yes. And I kind of had a rough day. And so blasted a couple cigs. But I have not had one since 1 o'clock yesterday. That's great. How about that? Which is, for me, pretty good. It's pretty good. Yeah. The drive-in this morning, I was like, A little uncomfortable, but I got fought through it. So the hypnotist is actually coming into the studio today. Yep. And we're going to talk to her about the process and what she did, the power of suggestion. I'm really interested in it. It may turn my opinion because I always thought that hypnotism was hocus pocus and hooey. Yeah, I mean, there was no, like, you know, she wasn't. No pendulum? No, and you don't really go to sleep. It's just this. really, really heavy state of relaxation. And I mean, like, super heavy. Do you remember it? I remember. The funny thing is, is you'll be relaxed and you'll be just sitting with your feet on the ground, your hands on your lap, and you can hear her kind of off in the distance and then she'll snap and you're like, oh, it's right back to life. But it sounds like she's in the distance? It sounds like she's in the distance and she talks and she's like, so, you know, when you want a cigarette, do this, do that, do that. Now, and you can kind of hear her.

13:13And then she snaps you back and you're like, hi. Wow. It was pretty gnarly. But, dude, I feel good. And I'm like, I kind of have this thing in the back of my head. You know, what she really put in my head was, I'm not a smoker. And that's kind of the bit is I'm like, I don't smoke. I've never seen you do it. It's kind of cool. Yeah. Let's see. Let's take your phone calls. 570-1949 is the number. M1 Rob from LJ. What's up? LJ. Hey, what's going on? How's it going, guys? Good. I just want to actually tell Woods about a book I read about four years ago. It's called Alan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking. As soon as I finish reading it, I haven't smoked a cigarette since. Wow, man. How long did you smoke for? I smoked for about 13 years. That's awesome. Alan Carr's Easy Way is actually one word on the book. That's awesome. Thank you, dude. Appreciate it, Rob. When I quit smoking, it was so hard, I had a blue Bic pen that I chewed on. Just gnarled? Miserable. Miserable. Miserable. Oh, look it. Was he already chewed on everything? I was just looking. I'm like, wait a second. I looked over at my coffee. I'm like, that's my stirrer. It's a swizzle stick. It's in my mouth now. There's a whole cup of straws over there. I don't need them. So Comic-Con opened up yesterday. Got a text from Lauren yesterday. Greetings. Got a text from Lauren yesterday.

14:39That was or an email that was a link to a story on CNN about how upset the Comic-Con regular Comic-Con attendees are. They're kind of irritated at the tone that Comic-Con has taken on. They have a right to be, I think. Do they? Yeah, I think so. Because, I mean, for years, Comic-Con was about. comic books and the things in comic books, Marvel Comics, stuff like that. And now it's all about Twilight, Glee. The show Glee is there this year. And it's like, what does Glee have to do with Comic-Con? So, you know, these fans that are going for the comic stuff are having to wait in these crazy lines. There's so many more people now because of Twilight and stuff like that. And, you know, like, they pay all this money to go and then they get a panel ticket to go see Glee. And they're like, what? The heck? I don't care about Glee. What category would we put Glee, Dexter, all those shows? If there was a separate convention for that, you know, the stuff that they're not really digging, what would that be called? Entertainment? There is a specific section on the floor of Comic-Con for motion pictures and stuff like that. It is divided by the...

15:55Video games are over here, the illustrations over here, stuff like that. And there is a hole, but it's grown and kind of pushed all the other stuff to this really small subsection of what it all used to be. So I wonder if they'll ever split. And they'll have like their, you know. Well, that's what they're saying, you know. Why can't we have a regular comic con and have like the commercial con for everyone else? I wonder if they're ever going to, if you're going to. See the day. Hey, nerds. Comic protesters. Nerds unite and stand up for yourselves. That's right. You see a bunch of guys with Vulcan ears with protest signs. Make it right for yourselves, dude. If you don't like it. I'm sure it all came down to money. Go do some vampire slang. Get some wooden stakes. Yeah. And some silver bullets or whatever the hell you guys do. Show up with some garlic around your neck. You know what I mean? Slay those vampires. Blah. Well, the good thing is because it went mainstream, it's drawn attention to what the event is. A lot of people five years ago might not have known what it is. So even if they do split off now, maybe there'll be some attention to both of them. It's true. Here was Angelina Jolie on a panel yesterday talking about her new movie, Salt.

17:17I would go nuts there. I'd go nuts. I would be looking at my watch and wanting to eat. Oh, you're going to go nuts then tomorrow. When I'm at a place where I'm bored, all I can think about is... Eating. They have food. Yeah. Imagine you and I there tomorrow. It's going to be hysterical. Yeah. Angelina. I saw pictures of her there, and she's wearing, like, this tight leather. Like, just. She's a little angel. No. Exactly. She's really pretty, though. She's a little angel. She is, but I just want to feed her a cheeseburger. Yeah. They have beautiful hair. That's true. Gorgeous hair. It looks like he had six fingers on each hand. It's a guy at Comic-Con.

18:16Making observations about people walking around. One more time with that one. He looked like he had six fingers on each hand. He's a regular Comic-Con attendee. Will Ferrell was also there. Yeah, I got that clip, too. Will Ferrell was there with Tina Fey, right? Yeah, he had blue face paint on. And he was wearing this bulbous helmet. How great is that? And he stepped out as this animated character in the movie that's coming out, Megamind. Oh, my gosh. All right, here's Tina Fey and Will Ferrell. It's really a very warm crowd to come out in front of. The cool thing is people who come here, like, they really come here because they like movies and they want to be here. It's so different than, no offense, but then, like, just the job getting the press. People love movies, so it's nice. I would not be able to take Will Ferrell seriously ever, let alone with his face painted blue. It's so great. He sounds kind of serious in that interview. I know. I can only imagine how ridiculous he looks. I love him. Face painted. Why can't I know him? I know.

19:15So great. I know a couple people that have met him out in public, and supposedly he's, like, super cool. Yeah. Just really nice. He seems really nice. Which makes him even better. Yep. At 7 o'clock this morning, man, you got some good stuff on the way for you. At 7.30, we're going to play the audio of Woods Getting Punk'd. Great. I just have no idea what we're talking about. Yep. That's what makes it so great. I don't want to give any more hints. And then the other thing is, at 7 o'clock, I'm going to be playing tapes. of when I was on the radio when I was 21. Oh, I can't wait. 19 years ago. We also have one pair of Comic-Con tickets. Sweet. Got one pair of Comic-Con tickets left that we'll give away. Yeah, but it's audio of me on the radio at a pop station. So good. Doesn't even sound like you. No, it doesn't. Mikey played a second of it. We're like, stop. You can't play it. We have a giant boom box in here. That's what it takes. It's on cassette tape. Old cassette tape. Woods, he said, I hope you have broad shoulders today, pal. Apparently, I guess I need them too. Yeah, we both do. You need them every day, Woods. Fair enough. It's a filet fern in here a lot. It's right in the middle. Wait till you hear what it is. You're going to die.

20:41Everyone is. You're going to love this. I hate you guys. Let's see. Oh, did you? Yes, I had no idea. You'll laugh. You'll laugh. You will. You'll like it. You will, you will, you will, you will. Hear about the San Diego couple that got their Raider charger trucks stolen and now found? This is so funny. It's a couple in National City. They, you know, they've been married 15 years and there's always been one major disagreement. Husband likes the Raiders. Wife likes the Chargers. Husband goes out of town. Wife decides. I'm going to paint our car. Half Raiders, half Chargers. They have logos on. They're two different colors on both sides of the car because neither of them could agree on a sticker to put on the car. And the car was stolen on Monday outside their house, a 1993 Nissan pickup, but it was just found. Someone spotted it. Spring Valley. How does anyone think they're going to get away with that? Yeah, it's not a very recognizable car. Maybe the most unique car in all of San Diego. I'm going to keep my eyes open for it. They said when they got it back, it was in good condition except the stereo was taken out. Yeah. I want to see this thing. Hey, Jimmy Johnson, not the racer, not the number 48. Jimmy Johnson, the former football coach. He has a new job. I don't know what it is. All I know is that people are talking about it. In fact,

21:57Woodsy was talking about it with somebody in the studio yesterday, and I don't know what it is, and I purposefully don't know what it is because I want to find out in Woods on Sports. Coming up. Plus the panel is going to be talking about cheerleading, plus-size models. It's going to be great. Do all that. And my embarrassing tapes at 7. Woodsy getting punked at 7.30. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. You've missed concerts before and you've regretted it. Don't kick yourself this year and get your tickets now for the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Scion and Miller Lite. Sunday, August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on the mainstay towards Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. The Wigs.

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30:49service lower rates and dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo call 877-WAWA-NESA or you could go to wawanesaus.com rate shopping it can pay off i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 and now back to the mikey show with mikey i don't like rain i like sunshine lauren if you don't use it you lose it woods i got one word for you dude Yeah. Zienna. I was a really good student. And Jay. I'm a romantic, so sue me. On FM 94.9. 7 o'clock this morning, I'm going to be playing back audio that will make my skin crawl. We'll love it, though. It's going to be great. Can't wait. It's old tapes of me when I was a DJ at 21 years old. I can't wait till the people that are waking up to that are like... trying to fix their dial. Like, what station is this? Who is this clown? This is something that, like, everyone has to do, though, to get into radio. Not everyone. Yeah, it's true. But 99% of people in radio, and it is humiliating having one person listen to it other than yourself, you know? Let alone playing it on the air. This audio is older than three of Jay's kids. Yep. That's how...

32:25It's 19 years old. Wow. Yeah. So I'll be playing that back just after 7 a minute. Thank you for that. I needed it. At 7.30, Woods gets punked. He's already been punked. We're just going to play you the audio of him getting punked. Which, by the way, I have not heard it yet. I'm speechless. I'm so excited. I'm assuming this is your doing? No, it's everyone's. Mainly Mikey's. Sorry, I had to clean out my studio here for a minute. Oh. I lit him up. Poor Chris. Oh, my God. Our phone screener. Bright red. Our phone screener is in there right now with Jay, who apparently, Jay just dropped the hammer. He's swinging around his sweatshirt. Chris is vomiting in his head right now. You've got to black out for a minute. Chris looks so uncomfortable. He looks so uncomfortable. I had no idea it was going to be so horrible. Good thing your studio is the size of a shoebox. He is swinging around a sweatshirt as if that's going to help. It is. That's amazing. Chris needs to get paid more. Jimmy Johnson, the old football coach, the former Dallas Cowboy head football coach, has a new job. And we're going to tell you what it is. We're going to find out together because I don't even know, but I know that.

33:42People are talking about it. So that's coming up in a little bit. Had the pest control guys come out and spray for ants at the house yesterday. Good for you. Jay and his friends? No. Jay said that he was going to mix up a couple of gallons of ant killer and come. I go, no, dude, you don't know what you're doing. I got it. And so we took care of it. Guy got there and I was at my favorite part of the movie Tombstone right when the guy showed up. Poor Mike. You ever done that where you're like, you're, and then you. You hit pause and you're like, how am I going to get my adrenaline back up to this level again? So are the ants gone now? Yeah, they were this morning. This morning I woke up to a nice little scare too. What? Apparently, there's a mouse in our house. This keeps happening. Move. Move. Move. I would move. I would move. I'd move. It's Mickey Mouse. It's not a big deal. No. Todd set up a trap last night, and apparently he caught it after I fell asleep. So I'm walking in the kitchen, like getting some snacks together for this today. So early in the morning, I'm half asleep, and I go to throw my little tea packet in the trash, and there's a dead mouse on the top of the trash can right there.

34:52I was like. I'd have passed out. Todd. I'd have passed out. I texted him like, really, babe? On top of the trash can? That's an outside trash can for sure. I know. I think he was probably tired and just was like. You know what that is? That's you throw it over the neighbor's fence bit. And it was like, and when they get caught in the trap, their tail sticks straight out. They're frozen. I'd be like, hey, thanks for giving me the hantavirus. I definitely woke up after that. Oh, it was awful. It scared me to death. One of the coolest guy scenes ever in a movie. This is what I was going to play you. This is what I was watching and the guy showed up. Probably one of the coolest guy scenes ever from Tombstone. Something on your mind? Just want to let you know you're sitting in my chair. Is that a fact? Yeah, it's a fact. Well, for a man that don't go healed, you run your mouth kind of reckless, don't you? No need to go healed to get the bulge on top like you. Is that a fact? I'm real scared. Damn right you're scared. I can see that in your eyes. All right. Go ahead. Go ahead. Skin it. Skin that smoke wagon and see what happens. Listen, mister. I'm getting awful tired of your... I'm getting tired of your gas. Now jerk that pistol and go to work. I said throw down, boy.

36:34So dumb. That's the greatest. So dumb. Just stand there and bleed. That's the greatest. That's the greatest, dude. Every guy in here just got a huge smile on their face, and Lauren and I are like... It's the greatest. It's so good. It's the greatest. You guys mouthing the lines together real sweetly. Real sweetly. Holding hands. Yeah, holding hands. It's like I'm playing cards with my brother's kids. Yeah. It's the best, dude. Billy Bob Thornton is the greatest. All chubby. Yeah, fat. Yeah. That's why I called him a tub. Oh, yeah. I never saw it, obviously. It's rail thin now. Must miss. No, it is not. If you're a girl, it's a must miss. If you're a dude, it's a must see. Is it a Wild West movie? Let me tell you, I've played that clip now for 10 years. I've never played that clip and one girl has thought it's cool. Every guy that hears that clip is like, what is that? What is that? What is that? I gotta see it. If you haven't seen Tombstone and you have a piece, then you're missing out. Is it a Wild West movie? It's a Western.

37:43Is it a Wild West movie? Yeah, see? Yeah, it's from the Wild West. I heard an interview with Robert Duvall the other day, and he was saying that that is our, that's America's cinematic prize, is the Western film. Yeah, they're great. For sure. They are good. Let's see. So yesterday, Woodsy was talking about how Tiger Woods is the highest paid athlete, which kind of surprised a lot of us because of everything that happened to him. You would have thought that he would not have been. But he was actually tied, wasn't he? No. He was all alone at number one? Phil Mickelson was right behind him at number two. Two golfers. Yeah, man. Who would have thought? And Sports Illustrated has released the list of the highest paid athletes in America. Tiger Woods, number one, earned $90 million. What, you know who the next 11 highest paid athletes are? A USC football team. Yeah, they were. You know who that doesn't happen to? All right. Mr. Rule Follower. Well, yesterday was not a good day for the Padres. They got manhandled in Atlanta. They lost 8-0. Plus, they put David Eckstein on the disabled list. Just wasn't a good day, man. They had to pack their bags and get out of Dodge quick. Luckily for them, they're going to face the Pirates for three games. Now, the Pirates have actually been playing pretty good baseball, but they're traditionally a last-place team, and they are...

39:17Very beatable. But this is a very telling series for them because they come home. Guess who's coming to town? Who? The Dodgers. Oh, boy. Yeah, dude. Three games next week. So please, Pods, get the Pirates done. Get the Pirates done. Come home on a winning streak. Maybe make a move. Maybe get a bet. I don't know. Yeah. So next week, like I said, they're going to be in town to take on the Dodgers next week. Maybe we'll get out and support them. Maybe we go as a show real sweetly. Maybe not. Is it night games? Yes. Seven o'clock at night? I've been asleep for an hour and a half by the time those games start. Well, so this blows my mind. Training camp starts today, and the first practices are tomorrow. There has only been one number one draft pick signed, a first-round draft pick signed, and Dez Bryant from the Dallas Cowboys is the only one that signed. Seriously? Jerry Jones. Dude, say what you want about Jerry Jones. He's like George Steinbrenner. He's going to get it done. He got the deal done, signed him, $11.8 million deal, $8.3 million is guaranteed.

40:19Maybe Ryan Matthews gets his deal done. We've got to have that dude in camp, ready to go, learning the system. 30 unsigned. 30 unsigned. So there's 32 teams that took first rounders. One of them signed. Yep, 31 teams. Don't have anybody. Wow. Don't have their number one picks. Their first pick, yeah. You know what I think the problem is? Is the collective bargaining agreement next year is making all these agents go, listen, there may not be any. Did you know? Yeah. There may not be any football next year. No way. There may be a lockout. Did you guys know that? No way. That's never going to happen. I'm telling you. They're saying it's going to happen. Wait, wait, wait. The odds of football, the NFL being played next year, the odds of it not happening are much greater than the odds of it happening. No way. It's a lockout, man. This is America. Yeah, I know it. We need it. And so I think because of that, these agents are going. Well, we need this. Yeah. We need that. We need to know this. And the teams are like, you can't know that. We don't know. And they're like, well, my player isn't going to. And they're like, well, we don't know. And that's what the impasses are. Didn't that happen with baseball? Oh, yeah. It's happened with football, too. Yeah. It's happened with football, too. Yeah. And you know what they do? So here's what happened the last time this went down. Last time it went down, they had what they called scabs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People that crossed the picket lines. Crossed the picket lines, came in and played.

41:46So you see all these no-names out there in Charger uniforms. You see me out there running routes. There was a movie about it, The Replacements, right? Yeah, The Replacements. Very good. Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez hit his 599th home run last night. He will be the seventh person in history to collect 600. Here he is talking about how he wants to hit number 600 in a Yankee win. Cut one. I'm having fun. Again, the thing I've tried to do all year is drive in big ones for this team. I'm going to hit it, and hopefully when I hit it, like tonight, it's going to count for a win. Yeah, he hit a nice little bomb last night. And for all you guys that cry about the Red Sox, I'm going to give you a little taste today. Red Sox pitcher John Lackey was four outs away from a no-hitter last night, but he actually got a no-decision in the win. It actually went 13 innings, and here he is talking about that game. It sounded like he had a few beers. Cut to. We won the game. That makes things a lot better for sure, but it's... It's definitely one of the weirdest notifications, I'll say that, that I've had. They tape him at three in the morning. Yes, dude. Stare on Yankee Way just getting his drink on. Absolutely. So the Red Sox got the win. They remain seven and a half back of the East leading New York Yankees. I got to know about Jimmy Johnson. And here it comes. Why don't you just, I'm going to give you a hint. Play cut three. My teeth mouth just dropped open. It's survival. It's survival. What?

43:17Yeah, he's going to be on Survivor. As a contestant? As a contestant. He is 67 years old. Survivor is taking place in Nicaragua. The filming is 39 days. He says it's not going to interfere with his analyst career. Is it celebrities? I don't think so, dude. I mean, it's got to be. No, no, no. How great would it be if it's not? If it's just him, regular folks, and Jimmy Johnson. It's a senior citizen version. Maybe I get on there too then. The article I read this morning didn't say because that was the first thing I thought. I was like, oh, Celebrity Survivor. Right. But I couldn't see anything that said it was Celebrity Survivor. They just said Nicaragua taping was 39 days and he's not going to miss any time. Unbelievable. It's insane. Unbelievable. Give me that music one more time. I know. I love it. It sounds like a Mikey Show haiku. Pan flute? Yeah, Jimmy Johnson. Just going to tribal council meetings real good. 12 contestants, one former football coach. Come together here in the Marquesas Islands. Yeah, so have fun with that, brother. And Chris Paul is going the way of the NBA superstar, and he is demanding a trade from the New Orleans Hornets. He is far and away their best player.

44:41And what he has said is, well, I want to go play for a contender, too. And New Orleans doesn't do anything to make it right. They've traded Tyson Chandler. They fired the coach, Byron Scott. And the Hornets have said, yeah, we're not going to trade you, dude. But he wants to go play on the Knicks, maybe, or the Magic. But, you know, we'll see what happens. Have you guys ever heard of a TV show called Pros vs. Joes? Nope. They take professional athletes and they put them up against regular guys that think that they can play that sport. That's like some current pro. Yeah. People? Yeah. Well, sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes it's a mixture. Some of them are retired. Some of them are current. And they do it for fun. Do the Joes ever win? They're apparently next week when they, next week's show, it's the first time Joes have won. Wow. First time ever in the history of the show. How embarrassing for the pros. I know. One of them was Michael Vick was the pro. No way. One of the pros was Michael Vick. Another one of them. No, it's not. And the other person was LeVar Arrington. No, not a bar fight. The guys that beat those pros will forever be like, hey, dude, nice to meet you. You know what? You know what I did? That's like me grabbing a, taking the mound and Tony Gwynn steps up and I strike him out on three pitches. Which would be incredible. Incredible.

45:53It'd be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Yeah. Maybe there'll be scabs next year. Yeah. Well, I was watching it last night, Pros vs. Joes, and Antonio Gates was on it. What the deal was is that it was basketball, and they had a basketball player that, I don't know, they have three guys. They had a basketball player I didn't know, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Rick Fox. And the Joes that they went against were Terrell Owens. Antonio Gates and Donovan McNabb. That's insane. It was the first time Terrell Owens had seen Donovan McNabb since their big blow-up together in Philly. And it was so uncomfortable. So uncomfortable when they saw each other. So the Joes are people that play other sports? This is the first time they've done it this way. It was a special edition. They were like, well, it's kind of Joes. It's guys that played basketball in college. It's not Joes at all. You don't think so? They were all probably like high school basketball stars. Well, they were college basketball stars. College basketball stars. Those guys aren't Joe. I'm a Joe. You're a Joe. Joe's a Joe. Think about this. Think about it. It sort of made me respect the game of football. And I'll tell you why. The reason it does is because you cannot take basketball players like Hakeem Olajuwon and put them in a football uniform. No. But you can take football guys and put them in a basketball uniform.

47:17But imagine Sean Merriman smacking Hakeem Olajuwon in football pads. Oh, man. As hard as he could. Kill him. Yeah, kill him. Oh, man. I mean, so it made me go, wow, you couldn't reverse this. No. So did Donovan and T.O. ever, like, seem to meld or was it awkward the whole time? It wasn't awkward when they were on the court because they were in the middle of playing. And so there was a lot of, like, good job. Really? Yeah, you know. Because you're in the middle of a game. But when they brought them out, they bring out Antonio Gates. Then they bring out Donovan McNabb. And then they say, and for the first time seeing Donovan McNabb since leaving Philly, Terrell Owens, everybody. Terrell runs out onto the basketball court and first gives Antonio Gates a hug and then gives a very awkward smack of the hand. Bro hug. Bro hug. One pat. And you see him in his eyes. His eyes go, I didn't like just doing that. And then they show Donovan, and Donovan looks like, I didn't like it either. Yikes. And you know what's funny is I read that they're considering possibly playing together. I was going to ask that. Is he, like, floating around as a free agent now? He's floating around. He doesn't have a team yet, T.O., and Donovan said, eh, maybe. Really? T.O. goes, yeah, maybe.

48:46Because here's the deal. T.O. was kind of jilted by the Cowboys and Donovan was jilted by the Eagles. They're all in the same division. Maybe they go try to coup d'etat. To the other rival. Yep. Could be. I'd pay to see it. I got the strangest email from my wife. And I don't know if my wife is punking me. Maybe you got punked, pal. I think my wife is punking me. You know how my wife is more of a handyman than I am? Yes. Yes, I believe we all do know that. She said, she emailed me and said, I see you put the wheelbarrow together. I have a wheelbarrow that's been sitting in a cardboard box on the side of my house for a year. Yeah, and it's like... The box, I've seen it because I go around and the box is like falling apart because it's all wet. It's been rained on. It looks like the box is from like 1932. Yeah, yeah. So you put it together? It's the first wheelbarrow. No, I didn't. And so she wrote me and just said that. So I'm thinking, did she put my wheelbarrow together? Get Rebecca on the line, Jay. Jay, can you hear me? Yeah, he's working on it. Yeah, probably her and Jamie. Her and Jamie punking you guys. Right? We'll show these guys. My wife Jamie's a lot more handy than I am.

50:00Your wife Jamie's a lot more handy than I am. Yeah. But that's not saying too much. That's true. When we come back, I am going to play embarrassing tapes of myself when I was 21 years old and a DJ. So let me just set the scene for you with this. Most embarrassing period of my life, definitely my late teens and early 20s. I was morbidly obese and had a mullet. And when we come back, you're going to hear my embarrassing on-air DJ days when I worked at a high-energy dance station. Marky Mark and the Funky Buds. Yeah. Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful day and this treasure that we have found. I'm so excited. A high-energy dance station while being morbidly obese with them all. She's on the line. She is? Yeah. Honey, did you put that wheelbarrow together? No. You didn't? No. Didn't you? Didn't you? Did my wife do it? Did Jamie do it? In all my spare time? Seriously. You got served. Honey, I did not put it together. Well, I guess it was the mysterious wheelbarrow putter together. Maybe it was Edward Cullen. Who could put a wheelbarrow together that needed to be put together for quite some time? I wonder who could do that. Did you?

51:32Yeah, I did. I took it last time I was at your house. And then the other day I was in the neighborhood, so I just dropped it back by and just put it over the side to see how long it took you to discover it. How long did it take? I didn't discover it. My wife discovered it. It's been... A week or so. Are you kidding? A week or so. Oh, my gosh. You're a weird dude. No. I grabbed you when we were swimming over there one day. I'm going to take this wheelbarrow. Can you imagine if I had come outside and he was handcuffed getting put into a police car because somebody called the police because he was, you know. It was the saddest little box. There was no instructions. It was all weathered. There was bugs and spiders living in the box. I'm like, hello. It's been there for two years. It's been there for two years. My dad gave it to me on my 38th birthday. You're 40. I'm 40. Right. Wow. Jay, why wouldn't you say, hey, bro?

52:29I'm going to take this home to the crib and do it. I like the way Jay did it. This was a lot more fun, wasn't it? Jay, thank you, dude. That is really nice. You can use your wheelbarrow now. Now you can use it. You can cart all your little boots around. Yeah, I can put my little boots in there. You take all the cloaks and separators from your car. You hold a lot of crowns. Holy cow. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. E-M-W-S-L need us Now you can Now you can get super savings on a BMW. Going on now, it's the BMW Encinitas Super Sale. Our prices are so low, we can't even print them. Click BMW Encinitas Super Sale.com to see all the special prices and savings on hundreds of BMWs, like a lease on a 2010 BMW 328i for only $299 a month plus tax. And that's just one of the incredible savings you'll find at BMW Encinitas Super Sale.com. Why would you pay more when you can lease

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56:54Oh, I'm so proud of you for planning this, and I get to meet my new nephew. Uncle Tim should be here any minute. Ooh, they're picking us up? No, we only have a few hours before our flight. Are we where? Back home. We can't afford to stay. Excuse me. It pays to check CheapFlights.com. With over 4 million deals in one place, you can go where you never thought you could and have money left over to actually enjoy it. Check first and never miss the chance to get a better deal. Hey, it's called CheapFlights.com for a reason. As part of the Summer Home Organization event, the Home Depot has made a special buy on four-tier shelving units for just $29.88. You can get them in wood or deco wire. And at that price, you can pick up a few of our new colorful totes at a great value, too. Put everything in its right place, including the savings in your wallet. All thanks to those four-tier shelving units, just $29.88 each. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. While supplies last, U.S. only. See store for details. Hey, it's Mikey, and I'm looking for a couple of people that have saved money with AIS, has an AIS story just like I do. If that is you, we want to hear from you, call this number and you could end up on The Mikey Show, 866-450-4386. That's 866-450-4386.

58:09It's Bob Baker Mazda's Claim Your Mazda sales event with 0% financing on new 2010 Bob Baker Mazda 3s, Mazda 6s, and Mazda CX-9s. It's 60-month financing on your approved credit and equals $16.67 per thousand financed. Test drive your new Mazda today at Bob Baker Mazda Car Country Carlsbad or anytime at BobBakerMazda.com. This report, it is brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100% quality guaranteed, so you can trust every package with the Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. Hammershaw Road at El Kelton Boulevard, that incident with a motorcycle and a car cleared off the roadway. You should be able to get through. Also, the 8 eastbound Taylor Street, large debris in the middle of the lane. CHP is running a traffic break to clear it up. This report brought to you by CarMax. Take your car to CarMax for a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. It's good for seven days. A smart choice is CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZC San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. And I like fried chicken. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9.

59:487.30, Woodsy's going to get punked. 7 o'clock, Mike's going to get punked. Yeah. A few minutes, I'm going to get punked. They're playing easily the most... Listen, I'll explain. They call when a DJ is on the air and tapes himself and listens back to it, that's called an air check. Yep. Okay? I've been doing that my whole career. What I'm going to play for you in a few moments is easily the most humiliating air checks I've ever. Ever. Ever. Why do you do them? Do you go in and you listen to it with your PD to make sure you're doing a good job? It's like watching game film. It's exactly like watching game film. They're like critiquing you and teaching you what you need to work on and stuff like that. Play-by-play. I have never had an issue with air checks and going over air checks with the boss because it always helped me to get better. You didn't dread them? Nah, because I always wanted to be better. And so, you know, now at this point in my career, and I'm not saying this to sound like a diva. I'm, you know, I've been doing this 23 years. And so at this point, I'm so hard on myself. Yeah. And I know the rules now that I listen to them back now. And they make me cringe even now. Yeah. I'll listen to my performance now and go, why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? Yeah, dude. Six, you know, LLB and I are six months in and.

1:01:16When I listen to, when I hear us on the radio, like on a best of day or listen to a podcast, I almost vomit every time I hear myself. Like, you sound like an idiot. It doesn't get easy. Yeah. Idiot. It does not get easy. No. Well, anyway, so we'll be doing that for you in just a second. I want to give you some of the big news that's going on in the world. We do it through something we do called the panel. And the panel consists of me, Woodsy, and Lauren O'Brien, LLB. And one of the topics today is. Is cheerleading a sport? Why, Sienna? A U.S. district judge ruled on Wednesday that a university in New Jersey, Lauren, you probably know Quinnipiac, could not replace their women's volleyball team with a competitive cheerleading squad. Do you know what that is? I thought it was in Connecticut. I don't know. This is New Jersey. Saying that cheerleading is too underdeveloped, this is a quote, and disorganized to be treated as an official college sport. And obviously this caused like a riot. People are furious. Cheerleading is a sport. I challenge you to find something more competitive and more challenging and physical. So that's the question. Woodsy, is cheerleading a sport? Absolutely. Absolutely, man.

1:02:28I had the pleasure of dating several cheerleaders and married one myself, my friend. Yeah, you did. Those girls, dude, what they do is hard work, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do half. I couldn't do a quarter of what they do. It's very, very hard work, and it's very competitive, and anything you have to try out and perform, they have a game day like everybody else does, and they have to perform. We get 20 seconds on each topic. Lauren? Is it a sport? Yeah, it's a sport. It's not a game, but it's a sport. It's a lot harder than anything I can do. It's gymnastics. It's choreography. It's a lot of agility and physical endurance to do it. The competing part is stuff I don't know anything about, but it's definitely a sport. Would you have ever done it? No. My take on it is, hey, bowling's a sport. That's all I got to say. Yeah. Don't know if you heard about this. This was a big controversy. Obama was criticized. And the reason he was criticized was because he was saying, everybody, please vacation in the Gulf Coast. Yeah. Because it's a viable area, safe and beautiful and swim in the ocean.

1:03:44Michelle said the same thing. They both were preaching. Go on your family vacations this summer. Go to the Gulf. This shouldn't stop you. And where did the Obamas go last week when they went on their family vacation? Where? Maine. Opposite of Louisiana. Couldn't get further from Louisiana. In terms of geography, north and south, maybe the farthest, most polar place from the Gulf. People were upset. And so now they've just announced, oh, well, our family's not done vacationing. We're going to be going to the Gulf August 14th. Obama family trip. Right. To the Gulf. Oh, boy. Yeah. Why don't you keep your eyes on your own paper? Stop taking family vacations, Obama. Woods, what's your take? Yeah, I think he's definitely wrong. I mean, you know, I was a voter. I voted for Obama. But, dude, do what you say you're going to do. It's one of those deals of do as I say, not as I do. I don't buy that bit. Right. At all. Lauren? I say give him a break. The summer's not over. It barely even started here, if at all. And Maine is a lot nicer in August than maybe New Orleans is. And he's going to go there, and then he's going to go to New Orleans a little bit later. But you only have a small window to go to Maine. Isn't that where Camp David is or something like that? Yes. No, Camp... Or whatever. Kenny Bunkport. Yeah, yeah, Kenny Bunkport. Kenny Bunkport.

1:05:10Yeah, my take on it is, well, you've heard me say a million times, my biggest issue with liberals is that I feel that the liberal agenda says, do as I say, not as I do. That's why Al Gore had a $12,000 a month energy bill. So insane. Until they found out about it. Oh, by the way, in the movie, A Inconvenient Truth, his movie about global warming. He's being chauffeured around in a giant gas-guzzling BMW 7 Series. That was not hybrid. It's true, dude. I mean, you've got to do what you say you're going to do. He's going. He's going August 14th. That wasn't planned before. This is just now planned. We say that. How about this? I know Obama personally. You say, I don't. You said spider. I didn't say spider. Didn't you say, get me a drink, spider? And I said... No, you're not all right, spider. I'm all right, spider. You're not all right. So what's the deal with this plus-sized model that's real upset? Okay, this is 24-year-old model, Crystal Wren, and...

1:06:21This girl's gone through some struggles in her modeling days. Anorexia. She had exercise bulimia and she overcame them seven years ago and became a plus size model. And she got up to like 175 pounds and has worked her way down a little bit. Right now she's about, I think, 150. Yeah, 150, a size 10. Hang on a second. Because if she's a model, she's probably really tall. I mean, I'm going to take a guess and say maybe she's six feet tall because usually models are. She looks pretty tall. If she was six feet tall. 5'9". 5'9". Okay. 5'9", what? 175? She's 150 now, but she got up to 175. Because I'm thinking 5'9", 175. That's correct. Is that really that big? No, it's not that big. You're not ever going to call her fat. No. That's for sure. I mean, 5'9", 175, I don't think for a woman it's like fat. No, but it's not. model skinny that's why she's now a plus size model but uh so she worked really hard you know when she was modeling and she got really skinny and so now she's like look i've i've made it as a plus size model i'm healthy i don't want people to think that you need to be really stick skinny in order to look beautiful so that's been her whole thing and she just did a photo shoot and parents

1:07:38Paris for a French Vogue and they photoshopped her body from a size 10 which is what she is to a size 2 and they didn't tell her that that they were going to do that and so she saw the pictures and freaked out and is making this big thing and telling people magazine you know I was really upset over this like I don't you know I'm recovering from anorexia this is important what do you think of that was I think she's probably the only woman in history to complain about looking skinnier in a picture, to be honest with you. But no, I think they, you know, hey, if you're going to do that, somebody, you should probably let them know. Yeah. You know, it's their picture, right? She looks pretty hot to me. Lauren, what do you think? I don't like it. I think, I mean, the whole point of having plus size models is to show you can have people of all size and there's women of all sizes out there. So why alter a picture? Why not use a size two model if you're going to try to market a size two product? There is a commercial for, I think, these big bras. Playtex. Yeah, Playtex, right? And it's all these plus-sized women. They're pretty sexy. Personally. I'm like, I don't really get what the deal is with the real skinny models. Because I think a lot of those bigger chicks are pretty cute.

1:08:55Well, the reality is we all come in all shapes and sizes, so there should be models to represent all shapes and sizes. Very true. I like Dove. The company Dove has models that are all different sizes, and I will, like, buy Dove products because of it. Yeah. Maybe not all shapes. Maybe we all just take a big lesson from that. Yeah, we should. As we listen to my days when I was 21 years old. Oh, yes. These are tapes of me. From when I was 21 and working at a station called KWSS. Where was it? It was in San Jose, California. And a real big kid back then with a real big mullet, wasn't I? Just rocking the mic. I don't know that I can look at you when I play. Oh, gosh. Do whatever you need to do. You may turn the lights down in here. Turn the lights down a little bit? Yeah. Let's turn the lights down a little. Let's get romantic. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. It's not dark enough. I like it. Set the mood. All right. It's really dark now. Now I got to be able to see. All right. Here we go. Here we go. See if this works. Try not to laugh over the talking. It's going to be so hard. Pull the microphones away. Pull the microphones away. Yeah. I'm turning my mic off. Turn the lights up. He can't see. He can't see. Is this playing? Oh, boy.

1:10:23Hey, Jay. Hello. I don't think this is playing. You gotta hit play. I am. Are you? Maybe not. This is playing. He's hitting, like, skip. Yeah, turn the lights all the way up. That didn't work. Yeah, I got it up. Don't know. Don't know. Come on. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, just take the plug out. You can hear it. I just heard something absolutely mortifying. It doesn't even sound like you. Your mic is still off, Woods. I know. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I'm imagining Mike with a mullet in the recording studio. Okay, here we go. Wearing suspenders. KWSS 94.5, right to the hot mix. Who's this? Hi, Mikey baby. Hi, color baby. Hi. This is Danielle. Danielle, what can I do for you? No! You said, hi, Mikey, baby. Hi, caller, baby. What can I do for you? I don't know if I can be your friend anymore. Seriously. Hey, thanks for getting me this gig, but I don't know if I can be friends with you. You can't judge him. That was cool back then. That was the style. Should I play it again? Yes. Keep going. We are not done. Not by a long stretch, pal.

1:12:03Oh my gosh. Let it roll. Yeah, let it roll. Hi, Mikey baby. Hi, Mikey baby. Who's this? This is Danielle. Danielle, what can I do for you? Could you play crazy for me? Crazy? Crazy. Are you out of your mind? No. Okay, I'll do it. Crazy. Oh, thank you so much. 150 with Mike and Spires in the hot mix. Give me a call. 575-KW-S-S. Yeah. I just looked at Sienna, and Sienna looked at me, and Sienna's eyes said, wow. Her eyes said, wow. Wow. You can really tell that you sound younger. Really? Your voice has a whole different sound. Woods is turned away. He's turned away. He's beside himself. My skin is crawling for you. It's crawling. As well as I know you.

1:13:23Duran Duran. Real. Oh, I can take this. I can take it. I can take it. I don't think I could do that with my voice now. You'd have to plug your nose. Hey, this is Duran Duran. It's like old singers. You know, like singers when they get on stage. When I used to do the Greg Kin thing. When you're feeling pretty good and you got a little thing, dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Anthony. Yeah? Do you like Julia Roberts? Oh, yeah. You're caller 11, sweetie. Am I? Yes, you are. No way. You're going to the premiere on the 5th of Century 23. Of what? You got a pair of tickets. Congratulations. What station gives you more movies and more music? KWSS. That's right. As we get off with the adventures of Stevie B. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Try doing that right now. Nailing those posts. Okay. I'm sorry. It's pretty good. No, it's not. Mike. For what it was.

1:14:34Like, it's pretty good. For a gay man. Yeah. Like, the things he's saying are pretty lame, but, like, that was probably cool then. I'm going to have your back a little bit. You're hitting all the posts. Your energy is good. They can tell you're smiling. Woods is looking at the ceiling, shaking his head. You could be a crackhead. You could be a crackhead. I don't know. You sound very Seacrest. Seacrest is gay, though, right? No, he's not. That's her point. No, he's not. He's dating Julianne Hough. Is he? He's dating Jim Hough. All right. I'll do for you what you do for me. There's Father MC. What'd you have to say? I said, are you seeing anybody? Am I seeing anybody? No, I'm not seeing anybody. Thankfully, you can't see me. Because the internet hasn't been invented yet. And there's no pictures of me on it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be on the phone right now. But I'm not blind. What are you... What am I, Helen Keller? Whoa! Oh, that's racy, right? Racey. It was 11 o'clock at night. I guess I could get away with that. You're making me laugh. I think I'm dying. Oh, my gosh. You call me 575-KWSS.

1:15:49What do you think your wife's doing right now? Cringing. Cringing. Were you pumping? Changing our number. She probably crawled under the bed. Pumping your fist and you said, KWSS! Pumping my little T-Rex arms. KWSS! KWSS 94.5. Now the question was, what movie... This is so hard to do. Mike. This is so hard to do. It's really. It's hysterical. I feel like I'm going to vomit. It's not that bad. It's great. I feel like I'm going to vomit for you. That describes your love life. I'm sleeping with Amy because he always wants to see where things are set. Oh. Hmm. Okay. Oh. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Well, thanks for calling KWSS. Oh, my gosh. It's hard to do these breaks with a burrito in your mouth. Hi, KWSS. What movie best describes your love life? Ghost. Why?

1:16:40Can you tell this was from 1991? Ghost. Ghost. Were all those people really calling in or did you have to like call your friends? You know what we did back then? We had reel-to-reel machines and people would call and you would tape them on reel-to-reel. Then you would queue it up. And live on the air you would go, KWSS, who's this? And you would press play and it would be queued up to them going. It's so-and-so. That's what they do now. Yeah. Well, it was reel-to-reel. Those old tapes. That was digital. Everybody had razors in the studio. Yeah. You cut with a razor. No way. Yeah. And then you made a mark with a little white grease pencil, cut it with a razor, pulled it together, and you had to put little what they called splicing tape. Wow. To splice it together. Because it's invisible. It's invisible. Okay, that's cool. Well, that's fun. That was great. One more, one more, one more. One more, one more, one more.

1:17:59Gloria. Wow. I see you got back to your roots there for a little bit. Rico Suave, Gloria Estefan. How did you like the pronunciation, by the way? Rico. Gerardo. Really? You're going to roll your R's for me, buddy? Gerardo. Log it in. KWSS 94.5, 344. Mike Esparza, music on the way. 344. A.M. A.M.? Wow, you had a lot of energy for that time. 3.44 A.M., yeah. It's called Coke A. Well, no. At the time, for me, it was called Obese Mikey with 18 things of Coke. Yeah. You know, Coca-Cola. Oh, man. What time did your shift start? Midnight. Till four? Six. Midnight to six. Six-hour shift. Beating. I would have been like, here's Gloria Estefan with her newest hit from the Miami Sound Machine. Mikey's doing backflip. Somersaults. Somersaults. I was doing my imitation of a guy that I liked here in San Diego named Jojo Kincaid. Which is genius. It's dead on. Oh, my gosh. From Pala Abdul. Pala. Your call's too. 575-KWSS. It's Mikey Sparza. That's it. That's all we get. That's it. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you. All right. Well, let's do this then.

1:19:17When we come back, we'll play the way that we punked Woods. Yeah, it's going to be so good. I can't wait to hear it. I have no idea what's coming. Yeah, Woods doesn't know what it is. Yesterday, if you were listening to FM 94.9 during the day, we ran a promo saying, hey, listen to the Mikey show tomorrow morning. Woods is going to get punked. He doesn't know anything about it. In fact, when he hears this, he'll probably call me. He never did call. He doesn't know what we're going to play, and we're going to play it next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. You've missed concerts before and you've regretted it. Don't kick yourself this year and get your tickets now for the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Scion and Miller Lite. Sunday, August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on the main stage towards Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. They're putting close to fame and the matches.

1:20:25The Wigs. Delta Spirit. Local 94.9 stage. The silent comedy. The nervous records of Burning of Rome. And White Apple Tree. Tickets for the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion are on sale now at FM949SD.com or at IndependenceJam.com for 30 bucks. Dude, do you have a computer? If you don't, there's probably legal reasons, and don't violate your parole. No additional fees or service charges, plus a dollar, goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Sunday, August 29th, the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion 2010, supported by Honest Tea. FM 94.9 welcomes San Diego's Pinback for the opening concert of the 2010 Del Mar Concert Series. Pinback, live, Friday, July 23rd, 4 p.m. at the Delmar Racetrack. Four o'clock Friday concerts are held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. All shows free with track admission. For more information, delmarscene.com. Enjoy exciting racing action and stay for the free concert at the Delmar Racetrack. Introducing the newest sound of summer. Only at the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event. Get some of the year's best offers on all your favorite models. From the driver-inspired RX to the advanced hybrid technology of the HS.

1:22:05But don't wait. Because when summer's over, so is this opportunity. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event. It's here, but not forever. Only through September 7th. At your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Least the 2010 IS-250 for $349 a month for 36 months. With $3489 due at signing. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. Offer ends September 7, 2010. Offer valid on Lexus. Western areas only. Woodsy, tell the story about when you woke up the other day and looked over at your digital alarm clock. I woke up at the alarm went off at 3 a.m. and I did, you know, the... I'm awake. I reached down and I was fumbling around. I realized I was looking for my glasses. And then I realized I got this huge grin because you know why? I don't need them anymore. You don't need them. This is the greatest thing ever. You went to Clearview. I went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her amazing staff there. And what they did for me has changed my life. I got a game on Sunday that I'm going to be seeing 2020.

1:23:20Incredible. When I step up to the plate for the first time since I was 15, maybe. So watch out, because the kid's going to come alive with that bat again. Oh, my gosh. And then I get to go surf on Saturday for the first time without contacts in. I'll be able to see what I'm doing. I'm not going to have to be rubbing my eyes the whole time. I can actually see again, and it's been, for me, it's been 20 years. How do people get a hold of them? What they can do is they can go to clearvieweyes.com, www.clearvieweyes.com, 452-3937. You tell them that Woods sent you. Get in there. Get a VIP consultation. They're going to do it on the house for you. Take a look at your eyes. Make sure you're a good candidate. They're the nicest group of people. The office is totally modern. It's amazing. Best move I have ever made. Clearview Eyes. And Laser Medical Center. Awesome. Hear that? That's the sound of Applebee's amazing new sizzling entrees. And fresh flavor never sounded so good. Because Applebee's sizzling entrees are served on an iron skillet that sizzles from our kitchen to your table. Try the sizzling Asian shrimp, sizzling steak and cheese, or our juicy chicken with queso blanco. Each with layers of flavor you can see, taste, and hear. Starting at $8.99. Only at Applebee's. There's no place like the neighborhood. It's getting late. The world is calling it a night. But the neighborhood is just getting started.

1:24:43Applebee's is now open till midnight or later. So stop in after the game. Swing by after the show. Grab some friends because your favorite neighborhood grill and bar is still going strong. Applebee's now open till midnight or later. Another reason why there's no place like the neighborhood. Starting at 9 p.m., $3 Brutus drafts, under $5 appetizers, nightly drink specials, and lots of fun. Hey, do you owe big money on your credit cards? Have late fees, high interest, going nowhere with payments? Hello? Yes, I'm talking to you. Well, here's what I want you to do. Call the credit card company and tell them you're sick of their nonsense and you're only going to pay them back some of their money. Well, most likely if you did this, they would say you're goofy and hang up on you. But as crazy as this sounds, this is exactly what the partner companies and National Debt Relief will do for you. If you have credit card debt, department store, gas cards, medical bills, any unsecured debt, National Debt Relief firms will settle those debts for less than what you owe. It's that simple, but you have to call them. Grab a pen and take down this number or put it in your cell phone, but call them. 1-800-210-0119. When you call, you're going to get free information that holds the secrets the credit card companies don't want you to know. Free information.

1:25:48that lets you pay less than what you owe. Call 1-800-210-0119. Come on, you only have so much money, so stop giving it away. Get your free info now. Call 1-800-210-0119. 1-800-210-0119. Place rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Starts July 30th. The Home Depot has a special buy on 18-gallon storage totes, just $4.47 each. That's a whole lot of organization for not a lot of cash. Reclaim your junk drawers. Find a new home for those off-season clothes. Or make quick work of all that stuff in your garage. It's all doable, thanks to the 18-gallon storage totes you picked up for just $4.47 each. More saving. More doing. That's the power.

1:27:00Of the Home Depot. U.S. only while supplies last. See store for details. If you are a Time Warner Cable customer, here's some facts you need to know. ESPN's current agreements with Time Warner Cable will expire on September 2nd. And they may stop carrying your favorite ESPN networks. You don't need to be put in the middle. So, we are working hard to reach an agreement. In the meantime, know that you do have choices. There are other providers available to you. I have choices or go to I have choices.com. If you're in the market for a new Chevrolet today, then Bob's doll Chevrolet is the place to come at Bob's doll Chevrolet and La Mesa. Our 2010 model closeout sale is on right now. So our lowest price guarantee just got even lower. If you have a trade in, well, that's great news for you and us. Your trading is worth a premium to Bob's doll Chevrolet, whether it's paid for or not. Even if others have told you, you owe more on your vehicle than it's worth. Bob's doll Chevrolet and La Mesa will help. So for your new Silverado, Camaro, or any other great Chevrolet, find out why year after year more San Diegans choose Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. Summer's in full swing, and it's time to start booking that family getaway. Listen Monday mornings as CheapFlights.com gives you tips on how to find those great travel deals.

1:28:12This report is brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Wawanese Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or your condo. Call 877-WA-WANESA or you can go to wawaneseus.com. Rate shopping. It can pay off. Heading on the 805 northbound between the 5 and Market Street. Little bit of a backup here as well as Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78 and the 56. Always, though, around this time of morning, Camp Pendleton southbound side. Oceanside Harbor Drive, just a little slow. This report also brought to you by Acorn Casino. Like bingo, Golden Acorn Casino has bingo seven days a week with payouts up to $400. Come play today at Golden Acorn Casino, I-8, Crestwood, exit 61. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bert, Dragon Eyewear, featuring the new cinch-style glass. And be prepared to watch Brett Simpson defend his title at the U.S. Open coming up shortly. Good stuff. This is the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf 4 for this Friday morning. And this is being brought to you, of course, by Guayaquil Yerba Mate. Today, looking at that decrease in southwestern swell as it starts to dwindle off and fade, less consistent surf is definitely on the horizon.

1:29:34Need a waist-high surf on average, maybe a few chest-to-shoulder highways, if only those premier standout spots most open to that dominant southwest swell. Going to be inconsistent throughout the remainder of the day as the swell tapers off as well. Looking for beach breaks to remain fairly walled up, some pick-and-choose corners primarily at the better sandbars or structured zones. And then, of course, you'll find some waves on the inconsistent side at those top south-facing reefs too. Once again, overcast skies, light south eddy winds, and we just cannot seem to get around this weather pattern. That being said, look for some more sunshine, though, late in the morning, early afternoon, as it starts to back off just a bit. Water temp remaining pretty chilly, but up a little bit, maybe 62 to 64 degrees. So that's about what we've got looking forward for today. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops. five locations, or you can always go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you, of course, by Guayaki Yerba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic abilities. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. I knew how it worked. I knew how destructive it was. I still started fires on the reg. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I,

1:30:59Squeal like a little girl. Sienna. I love cruises. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. Moments away from Woods. Hearing the audio of him getting fucked. What's going on in the news, Sienna? A couple things having to do with BP. BP has acknowledged another altered photo. You guys may have heard about this earlier in the week on Tuesday. The first photo came out and... It shows engineers examining screens at BP's oil spill control center in Houston. However, the screens they were looking at were actually blank in the original photo. So some Photoshopper, you know, had pasted scenes in there. And now with this latest photo, it looks like it's a helicopter flying over water. But really, the helicopter is sitting on the deck of an oil rig. Are you kidding? It's weird. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. But BP's had to apologize for this. And they're saying, you know, it won't happen again. It won't happen again. But it did happen again.

1:32:02The whole thing is really fishy. Wow. And another thing having to do with BP, Tropical Storm Bonnie is approaching the Florida Keys early this morning. It should be striking over there. Sustained winds of 40 miles per hour. And because of the approaching storm, a lot of the key ships stationed over on the well were ordered to evacuate yesterday. The cap is going to stay in place because engineers are confident that it's going to be okay. Let's hope. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the Padres lost yesterday 8-0. They'll be taking on the Pirates this weekend for three games. Home next week to take on the Dodgers. Jimmy Johnson has a new gig, and he's going to be a new cast member on Survivor. That'll be interesting. And Chris Paul is requesting a trade from the Hornets. Woodsy, have you figured out what it is? No, I have an idea, but I don't think so. Tell me what you think it is. Tell me what you think it is. No, it's all right. I don't even... No, no, no, don't ask him. I don't want him to guess. I'll tell you. You play it and I'll tell you after if I was right or wrong. Yeah, sure. He gave it away. Oh, no, I thought he figured it out during commercial because he said something. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. I did? Yeah, you said. Don't. Yeah, yeah. Let's just play what it is. Mikey, are you the type of person that can't keep surprises? No, I'm not. No, you're not that person. I can keep surprises. No, you didn't tell me.

1:33:23I have no idea. I didn't hint. I'm about to throw up. I didn't hint. That's going to be so great. So, I have to explain. Yeah. Woods is pacing. Woodsy, the other day, do you remember recording a commercial for a future client? He just took off his headphones and left the studio. He just walked out of the studio. Headphones off. He's gone. What? He could see him in the window because he's now on the way flipping us off. He's leaving. He figured it out. Yes. Get in here. So it must not be whatever he was thinking it was. What did you think it was? What did you think it was? Nothing. Not that, right? He kept looking at me because I have the hidden recorder. I'm like, oh, you just wait, buddy. You just wait. Oh, I butcher this thing. So can I explain, Woods? This is beautiful. Woods, Woods, Woods. Love you so much, Woods. I'm shaking right now, dude. I wrote it. I hate you. So I write. He has no idea until this moment right now. I wrote a fake commercial for Woods. And I put the most difficult, hard to pronounce words in there. And I told Jay, I said, Jay, have Woods come in and record this with you and tell him you have to record it right then and there. That's what I did. I mean, right then and there. Now, Jay goes, Jay goes.

1:34:51As soon as he sees these difficult words, he's going to want to go ask somebody how to say them. And I go, don't let him. Don't let him. Well, he did. He ran out of there and came in here and said to me off the air, he goes, Mikey, Mikey, how do you say this word? And I go, I don't know. And so Woods leaves, goes back. When you did that, I... had to duck under the bar because I was laughing. Yeah, you were all in here. He had just finished explaining to us his coup d'etat, his whole plot. Oh, my God. And so then he goes up to, because it was the name of Fruit, and he's like, hey, L.O.B., do you know what this is? And I'm looking at it, and I'm like, oh, no. No? No, I never heard of that. Meanwhile, I'm like... Sienna's under the board, bright red, like trying not to wobble. He would not listen either. When he first came in, I handed the paper. He stood there, shook his head, and he's like, maybe someone else will know. And he darted out the door like he was on fire. And he goes like this on his way out. I hear her go, really? Come on. I'm serious. So the deal was, what they pitched it to me is, hey, listen.

1:35:56This guy's right on the fence of buying. He wants to buy ad time. Who pitched that deal? Jay did. We got more people involved? He's right on the edge of buying. And if he heard a little spec spot, it would push him over the edge. Now, when I was in radio sales, I did that all the time. I'd be like, you know, when we worked together in Dallas, I'd be like, hey, Eddie, real quick. voice this thing for me, and let me take this guy, and he's going to get a kick out of hearing his business on the radio, and I'll sell this deal. So I'm like, oh, cool, I'll do a spec spot. And I was talking to you about it out there, you little turd. He was like, yeah, it was words like this, this. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's a Hawaiian fruit. She's like, yeah, it's right by my house. I'm like, oh, God. Isn't it the worst when you don't know how to pronounce the stuff? Oh, my God. I can't believe it. So the fake advertiser that I made up is Lucadia Farmer's Market. Is it fake? Yeah, it doesn't even exist, bro. No, it doesn't exist. Is there a Lucadia Farmer's Market? I thought I made it up.

1:36:59I thought I made it up. Well, they get a free commercial. Yeah, they get a free commercial. I thought I made the whole thing up. So here's Woods recording this fictitious. I told my wife last night. I go, I had to do these three spots today because I did three spots for golds yesterday. Hopefully those were real. And then I was like, and then I had to do this weird one for like a farmer's market. She's like, really? I'm like, yeah, I couldn't pronounce any of this stuff. Holy. Oh, my gosh. Here we go. I have no idea. Pick it up. Do whatever you can do. Listen, I'm all irritated. You can hear him grabbing the microphone. I think that was him storming out. Oh, that was him leaving? I have to hear him try to pronounce it that first time again. Let's go back. Let's hear it again. Is that Russian or Spanish? He tried to have a little accent. Oh my gosh. Now you're going to hear him storming out. No. You got it? No. I'm going to skip it. They got other fruits in there. Hey, they got other fruits. They have other fruits in there.

1:38:18I was going to skip that one. He crossed it out. I crossed it out. He crossed it out. He goes, hey, I crossed his word out. Can you pronounce it? Oh, my gosh. It's Woods from The Mikey Show. You've probably heard I'm getting in shape lately, and part of my new routine is eating healthy. That's why I've been trying out some of the produce at Lucadia Farmer's Market. From Breyer Pears and Bonita Peaches, Lucadia's Farmer's Market. That's where I put one of them. Did you skip it? You skipped over. As at all. Even ornate and hard-to-find items like Dovlu. mango, and other exotic fruit. This weekend's Hawaiian Fest features Iluku... He's laughing at himself. Are these real things? Let me tell you, Sienna, I wrote it and it looks like a real word. I'm not kidding you. It looks like a real word, but I'm like.

1:39:25There's no way he'll be able to say it. He'll just have to do the best he can. But you made up the letter. I made up all of it. They don't exist. I just wrote like, and then I put like an apostrophe. So it would say like, And you said ornate and hard to find. Ornate. Yeah, like which makes no sense. And he said it. Of course. He's like, hey, I'll read it. That's what they once said. Ornate. All right, I'm going to start from that part again. From the top? From the top. Just fight through it? Just fight through it. Iluku pineapple and mauela coconut, if you see me. Hey, it's Woods from the Mikey Show. You guys have probably heard I'm getting in shape lately, and part of my new routine is eating healthy. That's why I've been trying out some of the produce at Lucadia Farmer's Market. From briar pears and bonita peaches, Lucadia's... From Breyer Pears and Bonita Peaches, Lucadia's Farmer's Market has it all. Even ornate, hard-to-find items like Dove Blue Mango and other exotic fruits. This weekend's Hawaiian Fest features Iliku Pineapple and Matuela Coconut. If you see Manny, make sure to mention me and FM94.9 for a free CD just for stopping by.

1:40:45That's Lucadia Farmer's Market. Tell them Woods sent you. Did you say if you see Manny? There's more. There's more. Did you hear him? He goes, really with that? Really with that? Holy crap. That's a strange thing. What is that? You're endorsing it. That's the funniest thing. Am I? I don't like it. Tell them Woods sent you. Staying healthy. Look at you. That's my phone. What? This speck spot. I just had to read it. All these long... I'm sweating right now. Oh, my gosh. That's good. Was that me walking in? Who was that? Sienna walks in. He goes, how did you do that? I did. Because Jay was in there like a champ dealing with it. Yeah, he's like Robert De Niro. Yeah. Well, everybody. Because then you went to LB. I went to everyone on the show. I was like, do you believe what I just had to do? And I was like, yeah, you can get like weekly. You can get fresh produce there. Were you lying about that?

1:41:48No, it's real. Oh, my God. She's like, oh, you've never had... Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the Hawaiian phrase. Couldn't we just hear that first second of the clip again? Absolutely. His first time pronouncing that one word. Do whatever you can do. Dude. That should be a drop. Yeah, that should be. Dude. Is it Russian or Spanish? That's what I can't figure out. Oh, you know what they say. Oh, it's good. And by the way, whatever that mango thing, like I put, it starts with a D. It's like 18 syllables and Woods goes de lao. He's like, and they also have de lao. Whatever you say. Ma lao coconut. Ma abuela coconut. Ma abuela.

1:42:46Oh, that's awesome. My stomach hurts. It's one of my favorite things. Maybe one of my favorite things. You had no idea that's what it was, right? Bro, it came on a piece of paper, and it had at the time, it was like a logo. I even put a fake production. It was a logo. Yeah, I put a fake production order. And production stuff on it. Oh, my God. Dude, it was legit. And anybody in this room would have been like. Oh, cool. You would have been like, oh, great. I would have been like, cool, my favorite. That's just Andrea, my favorite. Oh, that's so awesome. I mean, I looked at it and I go, Jay, I can't read this, dude. I go, I'm just going to skip that one. It's not going to do it. What every client wants to hear. So for our first correct person that's playing radio charades today, you will get Comic-Con tickets. Wow. For the first. correct, you know, the first winner that we get in radio charades, we'll give you Comic-Con tickets. Call us right now, 570-1949 if you want to do this. Let's see. Did you hear about Schwarzenegger making the Mel Gibson joke? Oh, gosh. He actually, the joke that he used was actually a Leno joke from two nights before. Oh, boy. But this was, this was him. It's really interesting when you,

1:44:02Talk to energy people. And then you get up in the morning. The first news you hear is good news. Because those are bad news. But the good news is that BP has contained the oil leak. That is good news. Finally. Finally. The bad news is that no one has figured out how to contain. Say it. Wow. Really? Nothing works better with a joke. Then stammering out the punchline. Stuttering over it. Oh, my gosh. The bad news is that they can't contain milk. Tough word. Work it out. Start again. Mel. The bad news is that they can't contain milk. Something me on that commercial. They can't contain milk. Governor, it's just M-E-L. Just Mel. How do you pronounce that? M-E-L. It's just Mel. How do you say that? Mal. Mal. It's one syllable. Mal. Mal. Mal. Maine Gibson. Maine Gibson. Mal. Is M-A-L. You know what? Just skip it. I'm going to skip that one. Mr. Gibson. Two guys walk into a bow. I can't believe he just reused somebody else's joke and then F'd it up. And then mess it up. Nice joke. 570-1949. M1 Paco from Encinitas. You there?

1:45:26Paco, can you hear me? Do I have everything pressed right, correctly? Probably not. Jay? M1 Mama from Chula Vista, are you there? There we go. There you go, Mama. Are you there? Yes, I am. That was my fault. There we go. I got you. All right, you ready to play a little radio charades? Yes. All right, let's do this. Okay. Let's see. Jay is going to come in and he is going to tell Woods what this movie is. I'm going to be your eyes, okay? And we're going to do a simple game of charades. Oh, no. I'm watching guys on mine, too. Woods has a look on his face like, how am I going to do this? You have 60 seconds. Are you ready? Yes. All right. Are you ready, Woods? I guess. Okay, here we go. Four words. Four words. Okay. Fourth word. Oh, he's blowing. He is blowing. He's putting his hands out as if to say, oh, he's turning something. Now he's turning. He's turning it up. It's getting higher. He's blowing. He's blowing more fervently. Oh, my gosh. It's like a wind. Like a wind. Okay, it is wind. The word is wind. First word now. Hitting.

1:46:42Oh, my gosh. It's out of the ballpark. It's out of the ballpark. He says go with that. Ballpark. Home run. Home run. Hit. Flying high. Out of the ballpark. Keep thinking the fourth word is wind. Wind is the fourth word. The first word is hit. No, it's like watching the ball get launched skyward. Far. Far. Powerful. Out of here. No, really far out of here. Oh, my gosh. It's leaving. It's leaving. It's gone. Gone. Gone. Gone is the first word. Gone is the first word. Last word is wind. Gone is the first word. Last word. Are you kidding? My goodness. My goodness gracious. It's too late. The buzzer went out. M1 Mama, it was gone with the wind. The wind. I was saying it. Yeah, she was saying it. She was saying it before the buzzer went off? I don't know. I think right when the buzzer went off. Gone with the wind. No. No. Oh, man. I think you got it, but you got it well after the buzzer went off. Sorry about that. You got to just yell it out. You got to yell it out. Who's going to play next on the show? That one was tough. M1 Ron, are you there from San Diego? I am. All right, Ron. I'm going to be your eyes. L.O.B. is going to be acting out the charade for you. And it's always movies, okay? So it's movie.

1:48:05Charades. Are you ready, LOB? Oh, LOB's got that look. She's got that look. I'm ready. Are you ready, Ron? I am. All right, here we go. Two words. Second word. Oh, she's shooting. Oh, hitting. Hitting and shooting and punching. She's hitting and shooting and punching. She's digging. She's poking. She's stabbing. She's piercing. Killing. Killing. Back to the first word. She's going back to the first word now. Oh, dazzling stars, sprinkling stars. Stars is the first word. Stars is the first word. Star Wars. That's a perfect one to get Comic-Con. That was hard.

1:48:57Dazzling stars. How in the world did you get that? She did, like, twinkling. And I was like, stars. I was like, no chance he's going to get that. No way. Congratulations. Comic-Con. There you go. You're going to Comic-Con, Ron. Hang on the line, okay? So great. It's awesome. Now, we do have other prizes. So, we got something else. Sienna, are you ready to play it? Yeah. You want to act something out? All right. Jay's going to come in here and give you a movie. And let's get our next contestant on the line. Let's see. Why is that lit up? Oh, no. Yeah, that's what it's going to be. Oh, boy. Okay. Is anybody on the line? Is that Pam? No, no, no. Let's see. One, two, three, four. There's basically no way. M1, Pam from Escondido. You can do it. Yes, hello. How are you? I'm great. How are you? I'm good. I just want to let you know, though, Sienna's quote right now was, there's basically no way. Yes, there is. Just so you know, Sienna has said there is basically no way. But we're going to give it a shot. I'm going to be your eyes. You have 60 seconds. Are you ready? Yes, I am. All right, here we go. Sienna, are you ready? Yeah. All right, here we go. Two words. Second word.

1:50:10Oh, my gosh. I'm opening a book. That's nice. Oh, it's like an album. It's like a photo album. It's like memories. It's like it's no, no. She says it's wrong. No, no. Sienna is very disgusted with that. I'm looking at something. I'm thinking. It's memories. Okay, she's going to try the first word. She's switching over to the first word. Belly. She's pointing to her belly. Pregnant. Pregnant. No, no. Baby. Baby. Abdomen. Second word. Back to the second word. Notebook. Open. Open. Book. She is, she's basically, she's giving up for the first time. She's smashing something. There is absolutely no way. I could act it out. You come act it out. You come do it, Jay. We're going to give you one more try at this, Pam, because this time Jay is going to act it out. Here we go. 60 seconds. 60 seconds. Here we go. Here we go. Ready? Yes. Second word. Second word. Pouring. He's pouring. He's...

1:51:21Uh, molding. He's shaping. He's, uh, let's see. Oh, he's calculating. He's doing, he's studying. He's, uh, oh, a baby. Rocking a baby. Uh, no, he's looking at a sheet. He's taking notes. Uh, oh, opening magazine. Magazine. It's, uh, not a magazine. It's. Open magazine words. Words. There's words. I told you, Jay! Harry Potter. No, it's not Harry Potter. Jay's realizing this is harder than it seems. Second word. Pouring. Pouring. Oh, he's throwing dice. He's throwing dice. No. He's... You're right. Thank you! Can I tell her what... Yes, you get a prize anyway. He gave me freaking Toy Story. Toy Story? How do you act out story? How do you act out story? I'm like folding a book with my hands. I point it to the baby. I'm like, how do I even act out a toy? Do I start like marching around on the ground? Like, I don't know. Holy cow.

1:52:41That's fantastic. Hang on the line. You're a winner anyway, Pam. Wow, that's great. That was fantastic. Okay, so here's what we got for you. Woodsy got hypnotized yesterday to quit smoking. We're going to talk to the hypnotist next. She is a cessation hypnosis therapist. Her name is Sarah Lewis Murray. We'll talk to her coming up next. Turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY at Jeeps. Here's the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. What are you doing tonight? Are you going to go to the Del Mar Racetrack after work or whatever? Because...

1:53:48Pinback will play after the last race tonight. We're kicking off 4 o'clock Fridays with FM 94.9. Tommy's going to broadcast live and Pinback play after the last race. It is free with your track admission. This coming Thursday night, the 29th, the Night Marchers play the Casbah. Transfer will do two nights at the Casbah next week, next Friday the 30th and next Saturday the 31st. The Temper Trap Playhouse, the Blues, August 4th. Silver Sun Pickups hit Soma August 7th, and Tokyo Police Club play the Casbah August 8th. And a few great shows have just been announced. Hot Hot Heat hit the belly up August 21st, and Bad Brains play their August 22nd. Spoon will play Soma October 1st. Ra Ra Riot play the belly up October 21st. Dr. Dog is their November 6th. And Blonde Redhead will play House of Blues November 14th. We're really talking about shows in November right now. There you have it. Get out there and see some shows in November. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com.

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2:01:25Brought to you by Paula Casino. Win your share of $200,000 in the Show Me the Dough giveaway at Paula Casino Spa and Resort. Now through August 29th, it's free to play with lots of chances to win. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZD San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom. Nobody wanted to go with me. Lauren. Look, I'm kind of out of the loop when it comes to news, pop culture, that kind of stuff. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. Zienna. I've always wanted to punch someone in the face. And Jay. Yeah, I like to dance at weddings. On FM 94.9. Sorry, I'm eating a burrito. Weird. That's good. Did we just play that, you said? Yeah. It's good, though. Did I rock band with a girl singer? Yep. I like it, though. It still sounds good to me. You liked it the second time around. Yeah, I didn't hear it the first time. Hey, thank you to Creative Cafe and Catering. GoCreativeCafe.com. They are real good. They brought burritos in for everybody this morning. Nice and hot. Yeah, delicious. Really delicious. Soft and delicious. Delicious. Absolutely delicious. So, thank you so much. Hey, by the way, if you want to call them, 619-297-1657 is our number.

2:03:31Or, again, their website is gocreativecafe.com. I had that thing happen right before we went on the air where something got stuck in my throat. Wrong pipe. Yeah, wrong pipe. You know, there's really only one pipe. Why did our mothers always say, I went down the wrong pipe, dear? Mom, I only have one pipe. I think there's two. There's one that you speak with and one you're supposed to swallow with. Is that true? That's what our parents told us. Like your larynx and your esophagus. Is that true? It seems like it goes down another pipe sometimes. Is it really a pipe? Some actual pipe. I don't think it's like PVC. No, it's not PVC piping. Sarah Murrah is in the studio with us. She's a certified hypnotherapist. who yesterday attempted to crack into the mind of our boy Woods. Is that right, Sarah? It wasn't too hard. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't take long. So you were, you're called a cessation therapist? No, I'm just called a certified hypnotherapist. And one of the things I do is smoking cessation. Cessation. What does that word mean, cessation? Stopping, quitting. It sounds so similar to sensation.

2:04:45It does. But it starts with a C. Because when I first saw the word, I went, uh-oh, somebody did a little typo there. I thought the same thing. It's a real word, though, cessation. And it's a smoking cessation. Stopping smoking. That's the treatment I went in for. Now, Sarah, first of all, have you seen the movie Inception? Yes. It's the number one movie right now. Yes, I have. Did you love it? I did love it. Part of the idea behind the film is planting an idea into somebody's brain. Getting into that mind, yeah. Yeah, and so basically that's what you did with our boy Woods, right? Kind of. Kind of, right? Yeah, so with hypnosis, what you're doing is you're changing thought patterns and belief patterns and behavior patterns so that the client can get more of what they want and less of what they don't want. Hey, listen, I thought. It was hocus pocus, but it isn't because he hasn't smoked since you talked to him. And he's feeling good. I feel great. How about that? Like I said this morning, I had one little, because you get in a habit for so many years, you get in the car. You get in the car, and if you're a smoker, the first thing you do is, where's my smokes, where's my ladder? Right. Done. And you drive to work. And I usually get three or four on the way. Wow. Every day. Well, I live, you know, four to 35 miles from here. So I get three or four in the morning, every morning. So this morning, I got in the car.

2:06:13I didn't really have any trepidation about it, like walking down the stairs. Usually it was like, all right, get my stuff together so I can get in the car and blast a cig real quick. Didn't really have any trepidation about it. About halfway to work, I was like, I'm a little bit antsy. I'm a little bit antsy. But she gave me a couple of techniques to use. Used them. Felt fine. How'd you learn how to do this, Sarah? I trained as a hypnotist, and I now train other people to be hypnotists. And how long have you been doing this? Years. Really? Yeah. I had another career first, but I've been doing this for quite a few years. Unreal. I mean, hey, listen. It makes me want to, can you tell me that I'm handsome? What kind of stuff can you change in people? Well, lots of stuff. So hypnosis, in my mind, is good for everything. But people come in with a physician's referral for pain management, for weight reduction. Lots of. Turn that down a little bit. It's squeaking. Yeah. Go ahead. Smoking cessation. Even people who feel kind of stuck in terms of their income and want to create more prosperity. You could do that through hypnosis? Absolutely. So pretty much everything in your life is influenced by your thoughts. So it's all about changing your thoughts to change your life. Yeah. So I get information from the client on what they want.

2:07:39what that would feel like, what that would look like, how that would be, how it would change their experience. And then we work together and we create that. We did a really cool thing yesterday. And it's it is I mean, I wasn't skeptical going in at all. I mean, I was like, this is a viable way of quitting smoking. But we did this. This one part was really, really cool where I was beyond relaxed. And I mean, my whole body was just like, you know, I was just my brain was shut off really. was listening to her talk, and she said, I want you to visualize every cigarette you've ever smoked. And it was weird because I saw this line. It was like an assembly line of cigarettes. And she's like, no, just start getting rid of them. And I literally, in my, I could see them flipping behind my head. And it was really cool. I was like, holy cow. And I was like, started here, and I went all the way down that long line of smoking for the last, you know, 19 years. Heavily. Right. You know, and just kind of throwing them behind me. Man, it was pretty rad. When I got back in the car, I was like, whoa, that was what just happened, you know? And it was kind of had some time to think about it and, you know, practiced a couple things last night to go to sleep. Just a full body relaxation, starting with your head and going all the way down to your toes. Right out. It's crazy. Really? Power of the mind, man. Yeah, because I asked him yesterday, what is the deal? And he said, yeah, I haven't smoked since 130. Yeah. That's cool. I mean, if it works, it's cool, you know? Yeah.

2:09:09It was awesome. And, you know, like I said, I've been here since 4.30, you know, and it's 8.30, and I'm not, I mean, I guess I'm a little on edge, but I'm kind of always on edge. But I'm like, I feel great. Well, Sarah, thank you for doing that and for getting the kid off the cigarettes, at least for the moment. He's off the cigarettes. Yes. And I was pretty skeptical of it, and, you know, the guy's off the cigarettes for now. A non-smoker forever. I'm a non-smoker forever. I've had to promise her. Wow. I made him look me in the eye and promise. I did. I'm not smoking. I'm holding him to it. That's right. Okay. Sarah, how do people get a hold of you if they want to get? SarahMura.com. It's S-A-R-A-M-U-R-R-E.com. And you can email me there. My phone number's there. And I'm available for whatever you'd like to change about your life. whatever improvements you'd like to make. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Thank you for coming in and doing that with us. That's very cool. So, Woodsy, congratulations, man. Appreciate it. So, question for you guys. Do you have, and this is for listeners too, for M1s, 570-1949 is our number. Do you have the inappropriate money-asking friend?

2:10:36I think everybody does. Yes. What do you mean by that? I mean that this friend will ask you things like, hey, how much did that cost? Or, hey, how much do you pay for that? I have an example. What? Hey, Sienna, how much money are you going to bring to the horse races? Oh, my gosh. Okay. Oh, boy. Hang on. Okay. Hang on. Hang on. That's not bad. It's a little. It's a little. No, that's not bad. It's a little. It's a little. Because, like, you know why him? It's a little inappropriate. It's a little inappropriate. Because he doesn't want to show up with $12, and we're all throwing $20 down on every bet. Honestly, I didn't know. Like, I go, how much are you going to take? No, I wasn't. I'm just giving you a hard time. It's probably not the best idea to ask somebody. Yeah, if you said, hey, how much was that engagement ring? Yeah. That's the inappropriate money friend. How much was that engagement ring? I have to ask my husband. We're all dying to know. I have one of those, man, that when I got this job, well, his name's Bark Malman, okay? Yeah. He's the inappropriate money friend. How much are you getting paid? Yeah, hey, Bell, how much are you getting paid? What are they paying you? I'm like.

2:11:46Hey, dude, don't worry about it. At the time, I'm like, I'm 34 years old. I know what I'm doing. He's like, you got to make sure this is in there and this is in there and this is in there. Make sure you're getting this and that. I'm like, what are you, my dad? Quit asking questions. The inappropriate money friend. Are you writing an essay? But it's like when they ask you, so how much is your rent? You know, what did you pay for that car? It's like, what do you say? And are you here? OK, so here's the deal. Call us at 570-1949 if you've had it. And also call us if you're finding out right now because we're talking about it. Oh, I'm the inappropriate money friend. I ask those questions all the time. I might be. Really? Well, I ask people like, I guess, especially when I was looking for an apartment. Yeah. How much do you pay for rent here? Do you mind me asking? It's always, do you mind me asking? I hate that bit, though. It's like, oh, yeah, I mind. How uncomfortable would it be to say, yes, I do mind you asking? And then you just stand there and stare at each other. The rent bit, though, I kind of get because anybody that's ever looked for a place, once they have a certain area in mind, they're like, man, I sure hope I can swing it. And you have a buddy that lives there, you're like, hey, dude, what's the rent? What am I looking at? What do I need to put aside? What about if somebody were to say, what's a mortgage on a place like this? That's different. It's different.

2:13:00That's different. Because if you own it, it's like if you're leasing a car. Hey, what's your payment? I've asked guys that before. What do you pay, man? It's a badass ride. Dude, I only pay $300 a month. Really? Yeah. You know? The less you make, the more inclined you are to not care. Right. That's exactly right. But as you start to earn more, it becomes more private. And I think as you get older, maybe, too, just as you get older. I don't know. I don't know about your house. I mean, because anyone can look to see what your house is back at. You go online and see what everybody paid for their house. That's true. But that's not necessarily what you pay for your mortgage because it depends on your interest rate and how much money you put down. But you can see the worth of somebody's home. That can give you a little insight as to what they're making. How much you make at your job, though, is by far the worst. That's the question. What's your base? I had friends like, come on. And I said, no, I'm not going to tell you. And they were like, no, come on. Do you have people in your life that do that? People? Oh, yeah. When I started this job, plenty of people. Me too. What's that racket? What do you got there? 570-1949. If you have the inappropriate money, friend, that asks you about, I don't know, maybe you get a new camera.

2:14:15What's wrong with that? How much is that? How much is that? I asked you. I asked you at PF Chain. Would you pay for that, pal? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Your camera. That, I didn't care. Yeah, see, some things you don't care about. I asked my mom one time, how much does dad make? And she said, you never ask that question. I'm like, really? Why? But you get in your head. Like, you think you know. Yeah, it's not close. Yeah. I remember asking my dad how much money he made when I was a kid, and he didn't care. He told me. He did? My parents told me. But he didn't make very much. Five billion dollars. At the time that I asked my dad the question, he made $28,000 a year. Wow. He was raising three kids. Wow. Oh, God. That's amazing. There's a lot more money then, too, though. Yeah. There's more money then. My dad was the same thing. He would not tell us, but I tell my kids because my dad never taught me about money, how to use it and spend it and invest. So I just try to be as open as possible with my kids now. That's good. M1 Woody from Poway. Hey, Mikey. What up? All right, guys. I think it's situational, okay? Because if you have no business asking, you're just curious. I can understand that being a little weird.

2:15:28My situation, I've never been married before. My buddy and I are both thinking about asking our significant others. So he just bought an engagement ring. I had to ask what it cost. Yeah. I can see that. I can see that. Yeah, he's right. I trust him. He's my buddy. How much did it cost? Yeah. How much was it? It cost $12,000. That a kid. Good cow. Way to make that right, buddy. Oh, my gosh. That's about right, pal. It's a good man. Yeah, he's a good man. Thanks, guys. Dude, I didn't have no 12 grand when I married Rebecca. Oh, boy. What's the deal? Can you finance rings? Like, where do people just round up that money? $12,000. You can make payments. Really? That is nuts. You can make payments for years. Did you? But it wasn't that expensive of a ring still, so. Oh, my gosh. I mean, that's just, I've got to hand it to you guys. You know what, though? As much as we don't like it. We're all kind of curious about these questions. Absolutely, dude. Hell yeah. But it's like, you know, you're not supposed to know. Like everyone you work with, you don't know. I'm as nosy. You don't ask. I guess I'm as nosy as all get up. Because I'm like, don't ask me that. But then I'm like, but hey, since we're on the topic. I'm sorry. May I ask? M1 Amanda from PB. Are you there? Yeah. Go ahead. Hey. Go ahead.

2:16:51I don't think it's okay in every situation, but I think it's okay in some situations. Give me another example of the it's okay. An example of it's okay would be, you guys already did the rent, huh? Have you asked someone about how much they pay for rent? Yeah. If you were looking for a place. Yeah, I think that's totally okay. Just rent. Anything that isn't something that would probably... directly show that person like how much money that person has or directly reflect on that person. You know what I mean? Because rent isn't like... I kind of get what she's saying. You really can't control what the rent is, but if it's a mortgage, then it's like, okay, how much did you put into this house? Right. Like if you're a single guy and you're spending $1,500 a month on rent for a one-bedroom place or something, it doesn't necessarily say that how much you make in life. Yeah, let's analyze. Because what is it that I don't want people to know? You don't want them to know how much money you make? I don't want them to judge me. I don't want them to compare me to somebody else. I don't want to be scrutinized. Is that it? I think there's certain specific instances. I don't want people to know how much...

2:18:14base salary I make, per se. Or how much my car costs, per se. You know what I mean? You don't want people to gossip about it. You don't want people to take the information and all of a sudden now, you're a topic of discussion. Or sometimes, like, I don't want to know because I don't want to be like, man, you get that much for doing that? I know. Man, I'm a sucker. I don't know. Sometimes I just don't want to know. M1Pete, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. Yeah, it's a friend of a friend, but he always asks, like, everything. Like, stuff that you can just look in the Best Buy cells at. Yeah. Like, hey, how much you pay for the PlayStation 3? Oh, I paid $1,200 for it. Like, I always just make up a number. I mean, you might as well, right? You get hosed. But there's always those people that always ask everything, how much everything costs. And it's like, really? Yeah. You really need to know? Are you going to go buy this exact thing? You know what else? How about the opposite? What do you mean? How about the guy that tells you what everything costs? Right. A.K.A. Mr. and Mrs. Woods. My fault. Especially when they give you a gift. My mom. And I love my mother. You guys know I love my mom. But she will be like, do y'all realize our electric bill was $744? I'm like, I'm 32 years old. I don't even live at home. What do I care? You know what I mean? Like, dude.

2:19:39We've had some knockdown drag outs about that stuff. I'm like, Mom, I don't want to know how much your purse costs. All right? I don't care. She just tells you? Yeah. It's big timing me. 570-1949. I love you, Mom. Sorry. Big timing. Let's see. You guys want to do some TomTom tunes? Absolutely. We haven't done it for a while, and I want to do it. Give us a call. 570-1949. TomTom Girl is going to read lyrics from a song. And all you have to do is figure out what the song is. It's not easy because she doesn't have very good inflection. Speak for yourself, Mikey. See? I was talking to the guys on my baseball team. They're like, it's the hardest thing ever. It's the hardest game you guys play. It's impossible. It is almost impossible. But you call us right now and we're going to have some prizes for you. 570-1949. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949-MIKEY. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. You've missed concerts before and you've regretted it. Don't kick yourself this year and get your tickets now for the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Scion and Miller Lite. Sunday, August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on the main stage towards Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. Held to Spirit.

2:21:2394.9 stage. The silent comedy. The nervous records. The burning of Rome. And White Apple Tree. Tickets for the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion are on sale now at FM949SD.com or at IndependenceJam.com for 30 bucks. Dude, do you have a computer? If you don't, there's probably legal reasons, and don't violate your parole. No additional fees or service charges, plus a dollar, goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Sunday, August 29th, the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion 2010, supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. FM 94.9 welcomes San Diego's Pinback for the opening concert of the 2010 Del Mar Concert Series. Pinback, live, Friday, July 23rd. 4 o'clock Friday concerts are held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. All shows free with track admission. For more information, delmarscene.com. Enjoy exciting racing action and stay for the free concert at the Del Mar Racetrack. Introducing the newest sound of summer. Only at the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event. Get some of the year's best offers on all your favorite models. From the driver-inspired RX...

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2:28:21The Mini Cooper. It's a steal, but it's not stolen. Get 1.9% APR financing for up to 60 months on all new Mini models from now until August 31st. For details, visit miniusa.com slash info. MSRP includes destination handling, excludes license registration, taxes, and options. This report, it is brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications, 100% quality guaranteed, so you can trust every package with a Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. Well, checking out the freeways this morning looks like on the 8 westbound at Severn Drive, a two-car accident, no injuries, but CHP is on the scene and tow trucks are on their way. The 52 westbound Janesee Avenue. Be careful, there's a box and then a whole bunch of debris in the middle of the road. They're going to run a traffic break to clear that as well. This report, it's also brought to you by Quiznos. Brought to you by Quiznos 543 Value Menu. Get a great lunch for $5, $4, or $3. Quiznos. Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm. Toasty. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I...

2:29:22I'm chubby. Lauren. I have a very sophisticated palate. Oh, really? I do a lot of things I shouldn't do. Sienna. I go on long walks. And Jay. I just got reminded of the worst haircut ever that I had. I forgot about. I had the rat tail. On FM 94.9. Tal Cruz is the number one song, number one downloaded song on iTunes. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. Sienna, what's going on in news? The Arizona court battle began over the immigration law yesterday. They squared off in court. And the judge actually has said that she's not going to be making any promises on whether she will make the rulings before the law takes effect, which is July 29th. Only a few days away. Also kind of a funny story. A robot whose nickname is Toaster on Legs broke the world record for walking 14.3 miles in 11 hours. Wow. It's hilarious. Yeah, he walked around. He.

2:30:26It's a he. Yeah, it's a he. Obviously. It's got both. It's a piece. Yeah. Students guided it with a remote control, but it's like walked around a hundred and, I don't know what it is, an indoor track over 108 times. You know, I have to say this about that. Let me cure AIDS. You know, it's one of those deals where I go, you really have to explain that to me so that I know why it's cool. My brother, love my brother. He'll send me pictures of guns that he's bought, Sienna. Uh-huh. And I'll go, wow. Wow. Cool. And then I'll have to have him explain to me, what am I seeing here? Yeah, what is this cool thing going on here? Well, this robot, they're saying, you know, it has a really graceful motion, a way of walking that no other robot does. It'll make love to you, sweetheart. It completed about 70,000 steps before it needed to be recharged. Wow. Here's a picture. It does look like a toaster with legs. Oh, it really does. That's creepy. Oh, God. It's like Star Wars. Wow.

2:31:31We could have a lot of uses for that. Yeah. I would have so much fun with that thing. What's going on in sports? The Padres lost yesterday to the Braves. They lost two of three to Atlanta. They are going to be taking on the Pirates and then home to take on the Dodgers. Cowboys signed their first round pick. It's Dez Bryant. He's the only first round draft pick to be signed so far. There you go. Awesome. When we punked Woodsy. We punked Woodsy earlier, and that's a little clip from us punking him. We had him go in and record a commercial where I wrote a bunch of words that were unpronounceable. It's so funny. That's the best. So every time I stutter my words, I'm probably going to get that big, huh? Tonight's 8 o'clock album on FM 94.9, Van Halen 2. How awesome is that? Amazing. Oh, yeah. That's going to be real good. That's tonight. Let's see. Let's do some TomTom tunes. You ready for some TomTom tunes? We've got our prize pack is the UFC Live at San Diego Sports Arena on Sunday, August 1st. Nice. Wow. Nice. Making it right. All right, let's get M1 Luke from Encinitas. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Good. Okay, Luke, here's how we do this. I was like, your son's calling it? Yeah. Shut up, old man. What we're going to do is we're going to have the TomTom girl read you the lyrics of a song.

2:32:56And all you have to do is at any time interrupt and say your name and tell us what the song is, okay? Gotcha. Okay. Go ahead, TomTom girl. Recalculating Mikey. Thank you. Next day's function, high class luncheon. Food is served and you are stone cold munching. Music comes on, people start to dance. But then you ate so much you nearly split your pants. What? A girl starts walking. Guys start gawking. Sits down next to you and starts talking. Says she wants to dance because she likes the groove. M1 Luke, do you know what that is? Do you know what it is? I almost, I know, I'm trying to put the tune together. All you need is title or artist. Give me a couple more lines, Tom Tom Girl. I have one more line, Mikey. Go ahead, Tom Tom Girl. So come on, fatso, and just bust a move. One more. So come on, fatso, and just bust a move. Hey, Tom Tom Girl, maybe one more. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. And wow. That was pretty close. Not. It was. She made a joke. It was Young MC.

2:34:22Bust a move. Bust a move. She actually said it. She actually said it. This one rap was good. I had no idea what she was doing. You didn't know that one? Not until she said bust a move. It took until that. M1, Andrea from Solana Beach. You there? Is it Andrea or Andrea? Andrea. Andrea. Okay, Andrea, are you ready to play? Yeah. TomTom Girl, go ahead. Love is like a bomb. Baby, come on, get it on. Living like a lover with a radar phone. Looking like a tramp, like a video vamp. Demolition woman, can I be your man? Razzle and a dazzle and a flash a little light. Television lover, baby, go all night.

2:35:21Sometime, anytime, sugar me, sweet. Little Miss Innocent, sugar me, yeah. Hey, come on, take a bottle, shake it up, break the bubble, break it up. Andrea, go ahead. Is it pour some sugar on me? Yes, it is. There are certain words. That she said better than the actual Tom Tom. It's fantastic. I just realized how dumb those lyrics actually are. I was thinking the exact same thing. As she was reading, I was like, that's really what that song says. So he sat down in like some cottage in England and was like, all right, I'm going to pound this out. Video tramp. Living like a tramp, like a video van. Yeah. The first time I did this in karaoke, I was like, what the heck? Yeah, I know it. I never knew. Do you think that he went? Video ramp. I don't like that. And he scratched out. Video stamp. Video stamp. No, that doesn't. Shake your body. Shake it up. Pour some boogers on me. Nope, nope, nope. I don't like it. That's not going to work. What else can I pour on me? Salt. Salt. Pour some salt. Pour some salt on. No.

2:36:49All right, then take it from the top. I mean, amazing. Let's see. Hang on the line. Did very good, Andrea. M1, babe from downtown. Yes. How are you, babe? I'm good. How are you guys? I'm good. You ready, babe? Yes. Okay, go ahead, downtown girl. Working hard to get my fill. Everybody wants a thrill. Paying anything just to roll the dice one more time. Some will win, some will lose. Some were born to sing the blues. Oh, the movie never ends. It goes on and on and on and on. Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard. M1 Babe? Yes. Do you know? Is it Journey? Yes, it is Journey. Very good. Good job, babe. Hang on the line. That's the M1 name ever. I know it. Hey, just so everybody knows, that wasn't my wife. Her name is M1 Babe. Let's see. Good job, babe. I now have the top five things white people should stop saying. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. L-O-B. It's all good.

2:38:30Please. It's all good. It's all good. I say it's all good. I think I've said it. Son of a B, I've said it. I say it 80,000 times a day. That's all good. You say it's all good. It's all good. No way. Yeah, you do. You do. No worries is better, but I definitely say it's all good. My bad. I like that. I say it too. That's my bad, dude. I say my bad. My bad. I say it 80 times a day. I like it. How many things do we actually say versus what we text and email? True. I have a different vernacular. I say that. The top three are definitely the top three things that white people need to stop saying. Oh, no. Holla. Oh, wow. Oh, number one. L-O-B right there. Does that let me say holla? On the air four times a day. Do you? I don't notice you saying holla. I always go holla. You know. Really? Now that she says it. Oh, no. I have to stop. Tight. Oh, yeah. I've said it. I haven't said it in a while. I think no one should be saying that. That's tight. That's so tight. That's so tight. Number one, pimp. I say P-I-M-P. Spelling it is cool. No, it is not. Spelling it's okay. That guy was a P-I-M-P. If she says, hey, that's P-I-M-P. That's P-I-M-P.

2:39:52I'm fine with her spelling. I haven't said pimp in years. If I said that's pimp, it seems completely different. If someone does like all this stuff, you find out and you're like, whoa, that is pimp. Are we missing anything? Yeah. My friend, I'm going to throw him under the bus real good right now. Which one? Russ. My friend Russ. Uh-oh. Yeah. He says for reals. Kill me. With the S. With plural? With his S or his Z? It's a Z. For reals. For reals. And his wife goes, she will say it right in front of us. She'll go, don't say that. Yeah. And he goes, why? And she goes, for reals? Because you're not black. Because it's lame. Yeah. How about hells yeah? Oh. With a Z. Yeah, hells yeah. Kill me. Hells yeah. This one is something that only white guys say, and I don't know why, and Wood says it all the time. Uber. I said it once. You say it. I said it three times. A week. Seven times. Uber is. Uber lame sucks. Only a white person would say Uber. Hella. Hella is awful. Oh, that's hella cool. Hella good. Wicked. What are we forgetting? Don't go there. Don't go there. Talk to the hand about what's up.

2:41:10No one says what's up. That's never going to get old to me. What's up? What's up? It's going to make you laugh. What's up? That's real? Yeah, that's real. Oh, I didn't know if it was like weeding into a bit. I thought he was going to do his Michael Jackson sneeze. What are we missing? Anybody in the studio? Anybody got anything? Bra. What's up, bra? I haven't heard of bra for a while. I do bra. I do brows a bit, though. Holla at your boy. Hey, holla at your boy. A-T-C-A-L-A-B-O-I. And you know what Woodsy's got me doing? Woodsy's got me answering the phone like this. What up, dog? What up, dog? I do it all the time. I say, what up, son? Yeah, she's a son. I call her. She goes, what up, son? Got the wrong number. Who do I think I am? What up, son? Hey, who do you think you are? I don't know. I'm talking that way.

2:42:09Any of them? How about that's how I roll? Word. Yeah, that's how I roll. That's how I roll. I think I'm all right with word, and I think I'm all right with that. Oh, I hate that. It reminds me of Toby Keith. Something Toby Keith would say. That's how I roll. What about a hondo for a $100 bill? Hondo? I like hondo. Hondo? Yeah. I don't know that it's ever been hondo. Gell-O-B is just finding out right now. She's like, oh, really? I got a Hondo. Hondo? I actually said Honda for a while. I was thinking of the car. 570-1949. Bling. Bling. Yeah. Bling. You're blinging. How about crunk? Check out a bling. What about crunk? How do you use that? I know why people say crunk. We've looked up the definition of crunk like three times. Crazy drunk is what Woods came up with. Let's get crunk. What about dog? D-A-W-G. I say dog. D-A-W-G. Yeah. What up, dog? What up, dog? Remember we said that like five seconds ago? Isn't that what you're doing, Justin? Yeah, I do it when I do JT, too. What about... Yo, girl, what's wrong with that? 5701949. The phones are ringing, but... I have one. What? Go ahead. Sup. Sup. I haven't done sup for a long, long time. Sup.

2:43:26Sub's been out of my repertoire for a long time. What about how you live in? I don't know. I like how you live in. Yeah, I think I'm okay. I like playa. What's up, playa? Playa. How about the bomb? The bomb is so... I started saying rad now because I live in freaking Southern California. That's never going away. And all my buddies in Dallas are like, really? Is it rad? I never said it until I met Mike. Is it rad? Dude, that's fly. Oh, fly is awful. Yeah. Jay just said that so badly. That is fly. That is so fly. That is super fly. Let's see. What else we got for you? Oh, this is pretty cool. I want Woodsy to tell everybody about your buddy that's dating the girl. And the girl won't cook, but this is... There's a caveat to it. Now, will we all agree that... This is not sexist, isn't it? Will we all agree that women probably cook less today than they did, let's say, 40 years ago? Absolutely. That's not sexist. I'm not a pig, aren't I? That's not sexist. But, so my buddy in Chicago dated this girl for years, like three years. And she's a gourmet chef at a restaurant. You know, the whole thing. Big, top-line chef. Well, this guy got, you know, pretty fat and happy over the last...

2:44:48three years together with her. Well, they split up, and there's no reconciliation. In fact, they both moved on, and he's dating another person that's been about six months. So he's like, what's he? This girl, he made the mistake of telling her what his ex did, which is something we've all done. We were with her for three years. Well, she found out that she was a gourmet chef. She won't cook a lick for him now. Not a lick. And his bit is, listen, dude, I'm getting older, and I really like this girl. I think I love her, but I'm not marrying a girl that won't cook for me. And I'm like, God, I agree with you, dude. Yeah. She's a very like, what's the word for emasculated, but for a female, that's kind of how she feels. She's like, I'm not cooking for her. De-womanized? De-womanized, maybe? Defeminated. Defeminated. Defeminated. Yeah. You can't live by comparison, though. That's what she's doing. Oh, she's totally living by comparison. She needs to get over that. And I was like, well, all right. I bet you felt guilty, by the way. I bet you felt guilty saying that he won't be with a girl that can't cook because our culture says, you can't say that. Oh, I know. I did feel, I was like, but he was like, dude, am I a D because I'm not going to do that? Like, I won't. He goes, I seriously would do. I'm not expecting a full meal on the table every day, but.

2:46:04Be nice if my old lady cooked me something every now and then. So what's the alternative? They go out to eat all the time? Yeah, they eat out or he cooks. Or he cooks. Because she's just not going to be compared. Oh, I'm not going to do it. Okay, you know the fights that we get in in relationships about food? Like I had one on our day off the other day. I was like, where do you want to eat? I don't care. Where do you want to eat? I'm like, oh, God, here we go again with this bit. And that's them three meals a day now. Yeah, because she's not going to decide and cook something. No. She's like, well, I guess we'll go out to eat because I'm not cooking. I don't know. Why don't we call your ex-girlfriend and say what's on the menu? See, he needs to be, the damage was already done by, he shouldn't have done, like, made a big deal. I don't know if he made a big deal or he just mentioned it in passing. I think he just mentioned it. But he needs to be like, babe. She could be Emeril, and it doesn't matter. Whatever you cook is going to be hands down better than anything she does. Unless it isn't. But the thing is, she's not going to believe it. Yeah, and he doesn't have to tell her that her stuff is not as good. But because it came from her. He just wants something that she made, and he wants something healthy. Doesn't it seem a little immature of a woman to say, I'm not going to cook for you? This is nuts. You have to get over that, Jake. I know. I mean, but here's the deal. Like, imagine if Rebecca's last boyfriend or Jamie's last boyfriend was...

2:47:15Sean Merriman or something, you'd be like, oh, great. Chargers on today? Like, oh, great, let's watch some football. I'd be a... I would be a train wreck. I kind of had the kind of the cooking situation with me when I started dating Todd because I was 21 when we started dating. And he was married before. And as you all know, Todd's a lot older than me. So his wife is a few years older than me, too. And they had kids. And so she had like, you know, meals down, recipes ready. And when I started, I was like some young girl who didn't know anything in the kitchen. And I was like, and I avoided cooking for a while, too. But finally, I was like, OK, I need to get over this. Well, yeah. And you got it. And you can't punish him. Yeah. Yeah, he feels like he's being punished. And there's a reason he's not with that girl anymore. If she was a good cook or not, she wasn't a good match for him. Yeah, I mean, in that football scenario, I have a friend that dated a girl that used to date Roy Williams who plays for the Cowboys, the wide receiver. And, dude, Sundays for him, he says he dreaded them because they're not together. But he'd be like, oh. Oh, I would. Why? Because he's like, oh, the Cowboys are on. He's like, oh.

2:48:17L-O-B. Freaking great. Freaking great. Let's watch how Roy does today. L-O-B. Oh, wow. How about this? Okay. Now, you've got to be honest. Honest, Cap. Okay. You start dating Woodsy. Sucks. You start dating Woodsy. That would be the most interesting couple. In five minutes. Yeah. It would be the most tumultuous relationship ever. Yeah, exactly. the girl that he dated last was a Charger cheerleader. Yeah. Wouldn't you... It would slay you. Like, when you were watching the Charger games and they showed those girls dancing on the sidelines. Yeah. And I'm like this. I guess so. He's sitting there uncomfortable, like, oh. I know. This is the big elephant in the room. No. Nobody's saying anything. We're just quiet watching TV. Yeah. I'd be like this in the long mirror all the time, too. Like, during the game. Right? You'd be doing your moves.

2:49:18What does my butt look like compared to hers? Seriously, I mean, it's hard. That's hard. You just have to remember, like, they're with you for a reason now, you know. Don't worry about that. I would not remember that. They're not with that person anymore. No, I would think they want to be with that person anymore. I don't think this guy's girlfriend is feeling that. I think she's like, I mean, he's like, dude, every freaking meal is like, oh. Is this is this is good? Is this is, you know, anywhere because she cooks at a really fancy restaurant in Chicago. And he's like, if he says. This food's not that good. She's like, oh, really? I guess your palate is just used to... You have a very sophisticated palate. Yeah, he's like, oh, kill me. Okay, I'm done. Well, what does that girl do for a living? Because he has to say to her, like, of course she was good at it. That's what she did for a living. Yeah, that's her job. I mean, I think she's like an office administrator or something. You file the best paper... Wait. Nobody types more words a minute than you do, babe. 570-1949 is our phone number.

2:50:22We have some statistics on prison because of Lindsay Lohan. And we will give you some of these statistics coming up. Also, did you hear about the people that the whale crashed onto their boat? They're so nuts. Pictures of it. People are accusing them of Photoshopping the picture because the picture is so spectacular. It's a gigantic whale jumping up out of the water looking like it's going to crash onto their boat. The whale goes above their boat. I thought that was fake when I saw it. It looks fake. We will play you their comments next. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Now you can't. Get super savings on a BMW. Going on now, it's the BMW Encinitas Super Sale. Our prices are so low we can't even print them. Click BMW EncinitasSuperSale.com to see all the special prices and savings on hundreds of BMWs. Like a lease on a 2010 BMW 328i for only $299 a month plus tax.

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2:56:23I have laid eggs inside of your brain. Get them out of my head. I have brain control over you. Critics declare dinner for schmucks is schmuckin' funny. We are from Switzerland. I speak a little of your language. Heard if he said do. Heard if he'd be. Rolling Stone Raves. Steve Carell is a comic wonder. I'm a naughty little schoolgirl. You look a little old to be a schoolgirl. Dinner for schmucks. Weighted PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Starts July 30th. If you're in the market for a new Chevrolet today, then Bobstall Chevrolet is the place to come. At Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa, our 2010 model closeout sale is on right now. So our lowest price guarantee just got even lower. If you have a trade-in, well, that's great news for you and us. Your trade-in is worth a premium to Bobstall Chevrolet, whether it's paid for or not. Even if others have told you you owe more on your vehicle than it's worth, Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa will help. So for your new Silverado, Camaro, or any other great Chevrolet, find out why year after year more San Diegans choose Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa.

2:57:20This report is brought to you by CarMax. Take your car to CarMax for a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. It's good for seven days. The smart choice is CarMax, the way car buying should be. On the 8 westbound coming through El Cajon at 2nd Street, an accident here. It's a van and a truck. They're over on the right shoulder. And also as you travel through 30th Street at the 94, we've got a roll of carpet on the on-ramp. CHP's on the way to do a traffic break and clear it up. And the 67 northbound between the 8 and Maple View Street, we're seeing some slowing. This report, it's brought to you by CarMax. Brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. At Kaiser Permanente, they believe that simply taking better care of yourself is one investment strategy that always pays off. Learn more at kp.org slash thrive. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZC San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music, if you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. And Lauren. I have a very keen sense of smell. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I just snuff on the phone. Okay. Zienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. Our boy Jared is great. If you want somebody to be a graphic designer for you, createyourdesignonline.com is our guy. And he is good, man. High-end design, printing, the whole deal. He'll make...

2:59:04If you want, he can do business cards for you, logos. He does websites. He did our billboard. He's really incredible and affordable. So check him out. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is how you find him. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's Lauren. That's Sienna. And that's Jay. We have some statistics on being in prison. And the reason that it came up was the Lindsay stuff. In honor of... Double L. Yeah. Going to jail. She'll be out next week. She probably will. She's supposed to be getting out August 2nd, around there. Yeah. August 2nd. It's like a week away. A week away. Yeah. She'll be serving two weeks out of her 90-day sentence. Lucky her. Seems fair. What's that like? Well, we'll see if she really gets out, but it seems like it just keeps getting sooner and sooner. What do you got? What percentage of U.S. federal prisons are female? Sixty-eight. Really? Give me a real number, you think. Thirty-eight. Forty-two. I say ten percent. You say forty-two? Thirty-eight, I said. Thirty-eight. Seven. What? Holy... Seven percent. Look at him. You really got... You took that personally. She did. Go ahead. What is the deal? Why are there so few? That was an overreaction. It doesn't say. It just gives the answers.

3:00:33I wonder why. Probably because women just aren't committing crime. We're not as inclined to violence. They're not getting caught. Well, no, that's what I was talking about with the hero, like the action movies with the female. It's not as believable because we're not really... Yeah, women aren't the drug dealers. Women aren't... I mean, they do, but women aren't the murderers, the rapists, the drug dealers, the... You know, they're just not doing that as much. They're more nurturing. That's right. Real sweet. Sweetly. How much does it cost taxpayers a year to house and feed each prisoner? Oh, man. A year. Mm-hmm. This is an individual person. How much does it cost taxpayers a year to house and feed each prisoner? Oh, gosh. A year? $8,000. $15,000. Whoa. $5,000. $23,000. Oh, my gosh. Well, you got to make sure they're getting the three hots and a cot, pal. That was an overreaction. That's a lot. Over half of all federal prisons are being incarcerated, or incarcerated for what? Drug charges. Yep, drugs. You're right. Absolutely. Finally, what percentage of American federal prison inmates are U.S. citizens? 84. 50. 72. About 76%. Very good, Alibi. Well, she knows all the prison statistics. Weird.

3:02:02What is the most populous prison system in the nation? Texas. California. I would say Texas. California. With about 175,000 inmates. Man. Wow. What state has the smallest prison population in the U.S.? Delaware. Rhode Island. I was going to say. North Dakota. Oh, boy. There's like nine people that live in the whole state anyway. They're ice fishing. Everybody in North Dakota knows everybody else by name. Hey, Bill. Hey, how you doing, Steve? They even know half of South Dakota. This has the approximate racial breakdown of federal prisoners. Oh, really? Like, we're going to start saying that? That's why I'm not asking. With the microphones on? That's why I'm not asking you to guess. Are you kidding? That's why I'm not asking you to guess. Please. I said this. Sienna, stop demanding that we give you this answer. I'm not giving you the answer. I didn't say that. How about some Tom Tom?

3:02:53How about some TomTom tunes? Do you guys want to know? I don't know the answer, Sienna. Do you guys want to know? Whites make up 56%. That's what I was going to say. That's what I was going to say. That would have been my majority of white people. Yes, whites. 40% are black, 2% are Native American, and 2% are Asian. I would have guessed those exactly that way. 2% Asian. 2% Asian, that's it? It says whites make up 56%, 40% are black, 2% are Native American, and 2% are Asian. Wow. I knew that was coming. All right. Do you want more? Yeah. Here, let me see. I skipped around. Because I want to see which ones they stand out to me. It's a great gong. Gong. Maybe one more time. Gong. Will we get the drop from Kim Daniel? Nothing gets me worse.

3:04:00You're the good ones. I know. That's it. There is no more. You did great. Thank you. They have a list of a bunch. Why are you still reading it? I'm fascinated by this. I forgot we were on the radio. He's filing papers over there. I'm listening here. I'm like. You can keep that if you want. Some nice relaxing music. Some harp. You can keep that mic. Save it for later. You have to file papers. That's good stuff. Thank you, Sienna. You are very welcome. Let's see. I know what we can do. Where is my... Here we go. Looking for my mouse. We can play a game. I'm going to give you our number. 570-1949. If you want to give us a call and you want to participate in this. And we haven't done it for a long time.

3:04:56So we'll do it now. Yes! My favorite song. Would you rather step on a nail or get kicked in the nads? Would you rather? Okay. Nads. So I'm going to give you choices and you tell me. Would you rather have to spend every night for a month sleeping in a kennel? Senior Beans. Or... Spend every night for a month in a very large bird aviary. Oh, my gosh. With the birds? Uh-huh. Kennel. No questions asked. Kennel. Aviary. You would go aviary? Yes. How come? I want room. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I'm surprised. I thought, you know, because LLB is claustrophobic. Yeah, but the birds. Here's the deal, you guys. I think they mean a dog kennel-like.

3:05:55Oh. A kennel, like a big. Oh, like at the pound? At the pound. Where they're barking and barking. First I thought just the cage. Me too. I will not be able to let this go. Why is it called the pound? Why on earth? The pound is where they take the dogs if they're loose on the street. Right, but why would they call it the pound? That's what happens to you if you get out of line. You get pounded. Impound. Impound. Thanks. Light bulb. I would definitely do the kennel. With dogs barking all night? Maybe, maybe not. I'm afraid of getting the birds... Pecking your eyes out? Birds aren't going to peck you. The birds are going to love me and chirp and sing to me every morning. Now you got me thinking that... See, but the kennel... The thing about the kennel... It's going to stink so bad. Bird poop smells like roses, so you'll be fine. Trust me, I got it in my hair. Bird poop and aviary is so big and spacious. Big bushy tree. And then they wake you up at like 3 in the morning, like when we usually wake up. Dogs, too. Dogs are like, ooh. But they'll sleep the same hours as humans, usually. Birds are freaks. That's right. Is there anything worse than stupid birds making noises? No, I throw water out the window at them. You're not going to hit them. No, I know.

3:07:17You just want them to know. I want them to yell at them. I yell at them, too. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up. They don't speak English. They do. They pretend like they don't. They pretend they can't understand. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Please. That's me in the morning. On Saturday morning. M1 Freddy from Chula Vista. Kennel or bird aviary? I've had the seagull poop on me at high school. I think everybody got that story. Oh, yeah. A couple weeks ago. Yeah, L.O.B. did, too. Right in the hair. My Brazilian blowout. Your brand-new Brazilian blowout haircut? That day, right? Next day. The next day. Wow. Hey, you have beautiful hair. Doesn't Alanis Morissette's song go, it's like getting a Brazilian blowout and then a bird drops in your hair? Isn't that how it goes? It is ironic. Isn't it ironic? No. Would you rather have to use a toilet that's unbelievably filthy and gross?

3:08:17or use one that's clean, but the water seems to be bubbling in the bottom, and you sense that it's going to erupt into some kind of geyser. Fine. I'll take the geyser anyway. I will take the chances. Clean you off real good. Okay, wait. Run away. But you're sitting there, and below you, you hear... Shoot me off the toilet. I don't care. At least it's a clean toilet. Get in and out. You're not freaked out. Nope. I'll be freaked out. What if you felt little water bubble droplets hitting your bottom? It'd be great. Yeah, like a bidet. It'd be halfway there, pal. If this really happened, though, you would all scream. No, we wouldn't like it. You would flip. But there's nothing worse than a dirty toilet. A repugnant, disgusting gas station toilet. There's no chances that you're going to go to the bathroom and all of a sudden it's going to be clean with a dirty toilet. Let's talk about that for a second. Because we know that we have

3:09:17every segment listening right now who is the guy or the girl that filthies up a bathroom because we've seen it you know when we go into the bathroom and it's just filthy and you go well who who did that yeah i think it's a multitude of people i know but somebody had to start it start it at one point that chevron bathroom was beautiful yeah sometimes 78 when they built it yeah i mean since then okay fine But it was beautiful at one time. And somebody wrecked shop and just... And then the standards went down. And the standards went down. But even though the standards are down, who goes, well, you know what? The standards are down. I guess I'll poop on the wall. Kids. Who? I think it starts with someone having a really bad accident.

3:10:11Oh, no, no, no. She's right. That's what I think. You know what? She's absolutely right. In fact, when you think about it, that's where they would happen. Where else would they happen? When you think about it, people are like, I have to stop. I have to stop. You just solved the riddle. For me, this is like the Loch Ness Monster and me getting to understand odd and even. That big. For me, I always wondered, like, who are you? Who are you? I'll even say sometimes out loud, I'll walk into a bathroom at a Chevron. I'll go, oh, who are you?

3:10:53Sometimes the toilets break, though, and that's why they're all overflowing. This is gross. This is really gross. This should be your new bit. Every time you go to get gas, just open the door to the bathroom and yell, Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? I do have to say, I walked in on Jasper. Ted Thompson, who are you? I walked in on Jasper. We were on a sailboat, and I walk in, and it's everywhere. And Jasper's on his hands. He's sitting there, and he couldn't even explain. He's got this big look on his face. And there was, like, the toilet paper was in the sink. It was soaking wet. He was covering his hand. There was handprints on the wall. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Don't the people that run the sailboat, like, don't they go, do they walk in there, the people that run the sailboat, do they walk in there and go, eh? No, they don't. I had to spray it down. I mean, it was just us. I was the one running the sailboat. Yeah, by the people running the sailboat. There was like four families on the boat. I was like, okay. Well, somebody did that then. It was Jasper. Jasper did it. Jasper did it. Jasper did it. Oh, I thought he said that Jasper walked into the bathroom and found it that way. Seven is plenty old enough to know how to handle business, isn't it? He had an explosion, and then he was on him, and he was like.

3:12:01He couldn't get the toilet paper. I've seen it happen with kids. When you walked in. Kill me, kill me. I would have thrown him overboard. I would have done what Jay did when he walked in. What did you do? Big blue eyes, little tears, and he's like, I've been screaming for help. He's like, hey, Dad, I'm listening right now. Thanks a hell of a lot for telling that story about when I pooped all over the bathrooms. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Hey, Dad. Yes, Jasper? Maybe you just keep quiet on the radio. Maybe you do... No, no, no. Hey, Dad. Like I taught you. Maybe some sail trips are private. Jasper, you can throw him under the bus, too. Yeah. Well, Dad, why don't we talk about you wrecking shop at home? Everybody knows that story. Everybody knows. How about this one? Oh, man. Poor Jasper. Would you rather have tufts of hair growing on your tongue or... Oh, my gosh! Have tufts of hair growing on your nose. Nose. No hair removal, by the way. Nose. Spirit of the question is no hair removal. Nose. Holy crap. But then everybody sees it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but then you have hair on your tongue for the rest of your life. My tongue feels awful right now. He said...

3:13:12Tufts of hair. Tufts. So it's not like a hair. No, it's tufts. I'd have to have it on my nose. My nose. It's got to be nose. I'd have to find someone that loves nose hair. Yeah. Oh, I'd have to be tough. Who's that guy? It's the same guy that's in the bathroom. Somebody. Who are you? Yeah. Ew, yeah, because you'd constantly be swallowing hair. Well, let's say you wouldn't swallow it. Let's say you wouldn't swallow it. See, for me, it all comes down to taste. I don't want anything to interfere with my eating. But sometimes if you get like a single hair in your mouth, I'm like. Oh, I know. Is there anything worse than getting an eyelash on your tongue? Imagine eating spaghetti with tufts of hair on your tongue. You just spun me out. You just spun me out. Slurping it up. Oh, my gosh. Is there anything worse, though, than watching someone do this? Yeah. Ew. You have to say no, I guess. Trying to get the single hair off the tongue. The single hair on the tongue? Disgusting. Oh, awful. You ever been? No, just go. Moving on. No, I'm going to ask you. No, boy. Probably not what I was thinking, but go ahead. Have you ever been? Have you ever been? Just go. Just go. Just go. Move away. Just go. What are you talking about? You have a filthy mind. Just go. I do. Just go. Bye, Mikey. You have a filthy mind. Have you ever been having dinner and you go?

3:14:39Uh-oh. Oh, yeah. And it's like a seven or eight. It's like Rapunzel's hair. Yeah, Rapunzel. That's what my husband has to deal with every day. Oh, my gosh, Sienna. I have so much hair, and it's long. She has long hair. I've actually flossed my teeth with Sienna's hair. Yes, I have, too. All of you have. Both of you have. Yeah. What am I thinking, then? I'm glad I can help you guys out. If you ever need a hand, I'm there. Or hair. $194.9. Let's see. Everyone's like, ew, you did what? Yeah, it's disgusting. Well, it came up on the air. It looks as disgusting as it sounds. It's clean. Smell. She has really clean hair. Still human hair. And she said one time on the air, this is when we were at the old station, Sienna said that sometimes in a pinch she'll use her hair to floss. And people thought that that was the filthiest, grossest thing ever. Look it. Woods is doing it right now. He's flossing with Sienna's hair. The thing is, is they'll break. So you have to get a couple sometimes or double up. Woods is doing it right now. I said to Sienna, I go, I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. Do it right now. Smells delicious. Thank you. Tastes like apple surprise. I got a new shampoo. Oh, I love it. Woods is flossing with Sienna's hair. We are quite the family, aren't we? Yes, we are. So disgusting. Let's see. Oh, so let's talk about the whale and the boat. Okay. So there's a sailboat. Are you calling yourself a whale?

3:16:03Big, fat, white whale. With perfect vision now. A whale that seems 2020. Yeah, 2020. The whale's like... Covering one eye. Reading the little whale alphabet. That's right. That's A. E-F. E-F. O-V. Dude, those things always try to trick you so good. I'm like... That's a D or that's an F or a P. She goes, no, it's a hammer. Is that an O or a D? I've actually gone and looked at it up close. She looks kind of tricky. She looks at it and she goes, are you an O or a D? I know. That's neither. It's an A. So this couple was out on a boat and a whale jumps out of the water.

3:16:56Sienna, do you even know how that was captured on film? I don't. I've seen it on the news and I've just seen people saying, there's no way that's real. Everybody said that they think that it's been photoshopped. And this is the woman that was on the boat, Paloma Werner. Could be Werner. Werner. Paloma Werner. And she says that it has not been photoshopped. It is definitely legitimate. We were on the boat and we saw the whale coming out. What? Michael, I was on the boat with the veil, yes. You were? Yes. What happened? It was quite exhilarating. It was? Yes. We were sailing, and the veil jumps out of the water, and we was like, oh, no, look, it's a veil. It is definitely legitimate. That's my friend. This is your friend? That's one of my best friends. We saw it, so it's legitimate. It hasn't been photoshopped. What do you guys have in common, and how did you meet? She is from Austria. I am from Germany, and we were school chums. There's school chums? Yes, great. There's a photograph of her.

3:18:08and Wolfgang as children, black and white. Correct. He's wearing shorts like schoolboys. Just like these I have on right here. It's my little schoolboy outfit. Are they called knickers? Knickers, yes. This is Ralph Motes talking about how the whale crashed into the boat. Go ahead, Mr. Motes. I never for a minute thought this thing would hit the boat at all. I thought, if anything... Our previous experience has been that whales actually dive under and, you know, come up on the other side of the boat at some stage because we have a lot of whales intact. And blow me down suddenly. Okay, wait a second. Wait. Michael, you don't just get away with blow me down. That's my friend Ralph. He is from South America, South Africa. I apologize. I don't care. He loves to say it. Blow me down. You don't get to. He talks like a pirate. It's his thing. He doesn't get to say, what does he say? Blarmy. Yes, Métis. Métis. All kinds of things. He is the sailor, Michael. Moby Dick. You don't just throw that by an unsuspecting audience. Because we have a lot of whales in Cape Town. And blow me down, suddenly I saw this huge monster shape come out of the water on my port side. And, yeah, that's it. I mean, it just happened in an instant. It was quite frightening. I had bits and pieces of prawn all over me.

3:19:34Bits and pieces of corn all over you? Is this what? Corn? I mean... Prawn? Prawn. Shrimp? That's disgusting. I don't know why. What, falling out of a whale's mouth? A whale jumps on your boat. That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to rub shrimp all over yourself. No, it fell on you. Yeah. Play it again. Blow me down. Yo-ho. And, yeah, that's it. I mean, it just happened in an instant. It was quite frightening. I had bits and pieces of prawn all over me. He said I had bits and pieces of prawn. I thought he said I had to put some pieces of prawn. Yeah, he said bits and pieces of prawn. I had bits and pieces of prawn all over me. Ew! Because the whale threw up. The whale jumped out. They saw it coming, apparently. Jumped out, landed on this 33-foot yacht. It capsized. They're lucky to be alive because if the whale had landed on them, they'd have been done. Holy cow. Yeah. I mean, this is a humongous whale. What? Does a whale have... 40-ton whale. The whale needs to get vision corrective therapy. Yes, it does. I know. Poor whale. I guess all's whale that ends well. Get it? All's whale. Wow, really? All's whale.

3:20:44And ends whale. It's a whale of a tail, pal. I don't know where the picture came from, though, because it's taken from another boat. A fake bitch. You know what I mean? Well, if they were on a yacht, maybe it was an area where a bunch of yachts are. M1 Termite Finder from Oceanside. Hey, good morning, Joe. Hey, morning. I was watching one of those national news TV shows, and they have actual video of that whale jumping out of the water once or twice. Before it jumps up and crushes the sailboat, there's a video because I saw it last night. Oh, I want to see that. I know that there's video on YouTube and stuff around. I'm going to go to the YouTubes and I'm going to find it. Thank you. How many spouses do you think are having an affair while on vacation? While they're on vacation with their wife? I'm titillated. 94.9. You've missed concerts before and you regretted it. Don't kick yourself this year and get your tickets now for the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Scion and Miller Lite. Sunday, August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. On the main stage, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. The Wigs. And Delta Spirit.

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3:28:54U.S. only while supplies last. See store for details. Do you feel overwhelmed with your upcoming move? The UPS Store can help. We have all your moving supplies from specialty boxes to packing materials. Visit the upsstore.com. Notary also available. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I want to be a movie director more than anything else. Lauren. Yes. I'm going to get a wheatgrass shot. Woods. I'm a great baseball player, but I can be better. Sienna. The only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. And Jay. I would rather be skating or surfing any day. On FM 94.9. Can we pretend that airplane? So, let's see. Oh, Independence Jam. Don't forget. Independence Jam. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. The Whigs. Delta Spirit. And it's all 30 bucks with no additional fees. August 29th. That's a Sunday. And it's going to be at Oceanside Pier. Real good. FM 94.9's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion 2010. Presented by Miller Lite and Scion. It's going to be a good time. Welcome back to the Mikey Show. You can call us if you want to. 570-1949. Let's see what we got. Oh, how many spouses do you think are having an affair while they're on vacation? I would say 2%. Six.

3:30:47This is a new survey by illicitencounters.com, and it says... Illicit Encounters. Yes. It's your favorite website, isn't it? It has a bunch of different statistics, but it says that 33% of spouses have had an affair while on vacation. With their spouse? It doesn't specify. It says while on vacation. It's a ballsy dude. Oh, here. 6% of spouses have had an affair while on vacation with their spouse. Six? I said six. I've heard a story. I'm not going to say from who, but it's a true story of someone who had an affair when he was on his honeymoon. What? His wife. That is the creepiest man. His wife. If you have to make a list, like you take every man to ever live. 874 billion men. I know. He's the number one creepiest man. I know. His wife, to make it worse. I don't even want to say it. No, say it. She was pregnant. No, she was sick. She was in the hotel room sick. I said Montezuma's revenge. He went down to the bar and probably got hammered. Wow. I know. Oh, my gosh. He doesn't live in the States, so I can talk about it. Dirtbag. That's the worst. Isn't that the worst? Holy cow. See, you've got to believe in karma, if not just for that guy. No. Come on. Well, then how do you explain good and bad?

3:32:01Oh, boy. 16% of married women have been unfaithful while on vacation with their friends. Only 11% of men admitted to the same thing. Notice how she said admitted. Yeah, admitted. 63% of cheaters prefer to vacation with their lover rather than their spouse. How do they get away with that? Hey, Rebecca, I'm going to take off for a week. I'll see you. Yeah, I'm going to CBS. I'll be back on the 13th. You have a business trip. Yeah, but he said prefer to vacation. But they probably tell their spouses they're going on a business trip. Yeah, I'm sure that L.O.B.'s guy would get away with that. Oh, sweetheart. Where's your expense report? Yeah, where's your itinerary? Yeah, let me see the convention schedule. I don't have a convention schedule. Oh, maybe I'll just go with you then. I could use a vacation. You know what? That'll be too expensive for both of us to go. I have some money stashed away. Oh my gosh. What would the guy, there's no, a guy would never find his way around LOB. Nope. And what you just looked at itinerary or anything. Yeah. I wouldn't probably actually. What you just said, what you just said, Mike is, you just said that would be too expensive, right? The average male spends between 4,000 to 5,500 on a vacation with his mistress.

3:33:20He spends an average of $3,500 on a family vacation. Wow. He'll throw down more with the mistress than with the family. I believe that. That is sickening. That's all of them. Shocking. Oh, it's so awful. Isn't that awful? M1 Cat from Claremont. Hi. Hi. Oh, I was just calling in to say that my first husband, the night we got married, he spent with his girlfriend. What? What? Yeah. How did you know? Because I thought he went to work, and she actually introduced us. She's the one that introduced us. And said, oh, I've got this great guy for you. And apparently he dated her the entire time we were married and ended up telling me that, yeah, he'd gone to her house. Maybe she gets chokeslammed. Why would you set someone up and they continue hooking up with them? She didn't want him until she set him up and then he was unavailable. I hate that. How did he get away for the evening?

3:34:20Because I thought he was working. It was like it wasn't like a big wedding. Wait, you got married and you were like, oh, got to go to work. See you, babe. Yeah. Yeah, he probably had to go to work. You know what? Maybe you take the day off when you get married. Maybe you take that day off. To J.O.P. No, he said he couldn't, you know, so yeah. No, pal. He did take the day off and he went to his old lady's house. Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. Kat, you married a dog. Well, wait a minute. This is 100 years ago. I know, but I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. How do you get married? And I'm not casting any dispersions or judgments here. I just simply have a question of observation. How do you get married? And your spouse-to-be says, I have to work that day. And you go, okay. He worked graveyard, and the way that we got married, it was like a total spur-of-the-moment kind of eloping thing. Okay. And, yeah, he told me, he's like, well, I still have to go to work, you know.

3:35:20Like, oh, okay. I just don't understand the rationale of the guy that is keeping a little side dish. Why go get married? Yeah. Why didn't he marry her? Right. Yeah, marry her. Did he ever, did he, did you ask any of those questions? Did he ever tell you? He just said, you know, he was young and... Young and stupid. We were like 18. Oh, wow. Well, I'm very glad you're not with him anymore because you are so much better off without him. You choke slam her. I'm serious. If I lean on that, I could do a little choke slam for you. Actually, he got remarried years later and she looks exactly like me. Oh, wow. Isn't that creepy? That happens. Yeah. Well, people have a type. I look nothing like Jamie's last husband. You don't? Yeah. Thank God for that. How different do you look? I don't have a giant gap in my teeth. I know that. I don't wear my hair parted to the right either. I'm dynamic. Okay. Sounds like a trade-off. Jamie's loving you talking about this, I'm sure. That's what killed me right now. I just pictured Jamie at all. She just stopped what she's doing, stared at the radio, and was like, really? She's right, sweeping the kitchen herself. This is like...

3:36:33Really? Yeah. You're going to come home today, and she's going to go, and sweeping the kitchen? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm doing at the time? I'm sweeping. She's probably being dynamic somewhere in the house. Do you think that he had an actual gap in his tooth, or he got black tooth by words in a picture? Of course. He had a gap tooth. M1 Mimi from Carlsbad. Hey, how's it going, guys? Good. I just wanted to share a story. I just got back from a convention in Atlanta. Mm-hmm. and I wanted to go downstairs to watch the Padre game. The Padres are playing the Atlanta Braves, so I had to go down and cheer on my boys and have a drink. And you could just look around the bar at how creepy all the guys are, like, in their ties. Oh, yeah. With the wedding rings on, and they're just like, where are you from? Oh, boy. Just like, don't talk to me. You're married. Listen. You could just tell how creepy they get on, like, business trips. And slosh. Oh, yeah. I'm going to give fellas... Thank you for the call, Mimi. I'm going to give fellas a word of advice. If you're married. If you're married and you go away for a convention, don't go to the bar. Nothing good happens. No, nothing good happens at the bar. Go to your room and my advice to you is...

3:37:53Handcuff yourself to the bed. And stay there. Not a bad idea. You want something to drink? Hit the minibar. Yeah. Check your flight itinerary. Check your flight itinerary. And if it says that you fly out on Wednesday, handcuff yourself to the bed and don't leave until Wednesday. And on Wednesday, give the key. To the guy that brought your room service. Get, get, get. Give me this key back on Wednesday. Get, get. Stay away from bars. Oh, really? Why? Because you're immune, Jay. You're immune to women. No, I'm not going to go knock it out of the park. Is that it? Give me a break. I can go into a bar and have a drink and talk with my guy friends. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or even just talk to the bartender and have it be fine. Okay, hang on a second. Hang on. If you're there with some friends and you've got some accountability, honestly, honestly, but every man. Me included. Every man in the world is susceptible to temptation when you're away and you're by yourself and you're in a bar.

3:38:51It's like Chris Rock says, nothing good happened at the ATM at 4 o'clock in the morning. That's right. There's no reason to be at the ATM at 4 o'clock. There's no reason to be at the ATM at 4 o'clock. Whatever you're getting money out for, you shouldn't be doing it. You shouldn't be getting the money at 4 o'clock in the morning. That probably applies to words. That probably applies to everybody. I've been to plenty. I was a sales rep. I've been to plenty of conventions, away trips, guys that are seemingly really good during the day. are not so good. When Jamie used to go on... When Jamie used to go on her Palms... They used to go to Palm Springs every year, her and her company. Dude, I mean, they would specifically get an entire suite with booze. And they would just party. And I'd be like, oh God, talk to you on Sunday because I didn't want to know. I'd just go have a good time and see when you get back. Forget it. I wish I didn't know. Fellas. Go to your room. Handcuff yourself. And handcuff yourself to the back. Take some DVDs and a big can of Copenhagen with you and you'll be all good. That's what you do. What star let Justin Bieber drive around in his $200,000 Lamborghini? Tell you next. Part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. BMW, if you need us, now you can.

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3:45:06This is our best radio offer ever. Get your risk-free 60-day trial of new proactive plus two free extras. Show acne who's boss. Be proactive. Call 1-800-277-1134. That's 1-800-277-1134. On July 30th, the funniest movie of the summer has it all. Penguins. Trippers. Pudding. Sex. What a party. Critics declare dinner for schmucks is schmuckin' funny. Where are you from? We are from Switzerland. I love your cheese. With the holes. And Rolling Stone Raves. Steve Carell is a comic wonder. I have laid eggs inside of your brain. Get them out of my head. Dinner for schmucks. I want to lick cheese off my naked body. I'm sure Tim has a plate rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Starts July 30th. You are so hard to read. I am? I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. It's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are blue on the labels. No guessing. What? Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. This Friday, July 23rd, don't miss the Del Mar Friday Concert Series. Pinback will be headlining at the new Seaside Stage. Be there Friday, July 23rd for Pinback, live at Del Mar. It's Bob Baker Mazda's Claim Your Mazda Sales Event with 0% financing on approved credit on 010 Mazda 3s, Mazda 6s, Mazda CX-9s. Test drive yours at BobBakerMazda.com, Car Country, Carlsbad.

3:46:35And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't think I'm fat. I know I am. Lauren. I'm not a crier. Woods. I hate fantasy so much. So much. Zienna. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. Wouldn't be the first time the long arm of the law caught up with me. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album here on FM 94.9. Van Halen 2. What a doozy that one is. That's going to be good. It's going to be good. Okay, Sienna, who let Justin Bieber drive around on their $200,000 Lamborghini? Mikey? Do you wear your cloaks, too? I wish I had a $200,000 Lamborghini, too. P. Diddy. P. Diddy? Apparently, he made a promise. To say what kind of Lamborghini? Yeah, yet another reason not to like P. Diddy or Justin Bieber. Yes, it is a Gallardo spider. Gallardo. I got real Spanish on that one. Gallardo. Gallardo. Gallardo.

3:47:53It was a white Gallardo Spyder. I don't know. It's a $210,000 car. It means it was a convertible. It's probably his son's Diddy's son's car. Yeah. When he handed over the keys, that little turd. Does it say what color it was? White. Nice. They're not clear. A white convertible Lambo. On Tuesday, Justin Bieber was spotted driving it with Sean Kingston in the car, and they don't know whether, did he gave it to him for a birthday present? Kelly Clarkson in the trunk, or what was going on? Well, he needed Sean Kingston because Bieber only has his learning permit. Yeah, he sat on Kingston's lap. He just turned 16. Hey, shut up, Woods. I'm going to do it better than you. Yeah, you leave me alone. You shut up. No, he turned 16 on March 1st. That's right, I did. He did. This is what it sounded like in the car. Turn right here. No, you don't tell me where to turn. Don't tell me what to do. Turn the car, I said. No, don't. Quit touching me. Quit poking me in the side, man. You're going to make me drive. You're going to make me crash. I'm going to crash Diddy's ride. I'm going to wreck Diddy's ride. So.

3:48:57After his birthday, he was interviewed by People Magazine and Justin Bieber said, Diddy said when I turned 16, he's going to give me his Lamborghini. But we all know Diddy's not going to give me his Lamborghini. He's all talk. So now here he is driving it. And so they're like, did he really give it to him? Is he just taking it for a spin? I mean, how long has Bieber even been famous? It's like, how long ago did he make this promise to him? A month ago? When I was seven. Yeah. He told me when I was 15, three quarters. Usher, who found him on YouTube, gave him a Range Rover for his 1632. God, I hate that little bastard. I know. When you have so much money, why do you get hooked up with all the expensive stuff for free? Yeah, don't pay for anything. That's the way it works. Woods, if you had a Lambo, what color would it be? Black. You know that? Not me. It would be white. Mine would be black. Mine would be red. I think I would go red, too. It would be like 700 miles an hour down the five. Jay's would be yellow. 100%. I think Warren's would be black. Jay, what color would you get? I would probably go black as well. Hey, once you... Yeah. And you're being inappropriate. I didn't say a word. Nah. I can just look at you now. I know it. And then you go, what? What? You know what we should play again? On Monday we will. Us.

3:50:26Punkin' Woods. Maybe we'll play some of your gay DJ tryouts. Tryouts. It was an air check. He was very good. Like I'm going to be a cheerleader. Here's my DJ tryouts. 5701949. Give us a call at the beginning and end of every show. This is M1 Scruff from San Diego. What's up? Hey, I just want to wish... Well, good morning, guys. Good morning. And I just wanted to wish my wife good luck to her last doctor's appointment. We have our baby son going to be born on August 3rd. Very cool, dude. Very cool. I'm jealous. That's awesome, dude. Thank you for the call.

3:51:15Thank you. Anybody got anything that they want to plug this weekend? I do. What do you got? I have a show tonight, a comedy show tonight at Hensley's Pub in Carlsbad. Nice. It's on Tamarack Avenue. It's $5 to get in. Show starts at 8. You can either pay $5 at the door or go to the website. It's hensleyspub.com. H-E-N-S-L-E-Y-S-P-U-B. Go watch L.O.B. do some stand-up tonight. It's on my blog, too, if you need details. That's where our boy Jeremy is getting married today. Is it right? Today. Congrats, Jeremy and Amanda. From Big Sonic Chill. They're getting married today? Tonight. That's so cool. Congratulations, guys. So cool, man. Sometimes it works out dating your co-workers. That's right. I guess it does. I've got a game Sunday at 1.30 at El Cajon. We're taking on the gnomes. We're both three and three, and it's time to... Time to bring the noise. The gnomes. Wow. And they're going down. A bunch of tough guys. That's right. End of the show. On Friday, I give you my story. I tell you, it's called my testimony. And by the way, tomorrow, I'm going to be, I'll give you the name of this, speaking at something called Lift in the City. Three o'clock tomorrow in National City. It's called Lift in the City, where I will be giving you a longer form version of my testimony.

3:52:39Testimony is my story. And my story may be a lot like yours. That's the reason I tell it to you. By the way, I want to let you know that you can go to my website, MikeyShow.com, and you can read my story there in the help section. My entire life, I grew up feeling insecure. My entire life. My entire life, I always had low self-esteem and thought myself... to be worthless. I've experienced eating disorders in my life because I desperately wanted to be liked. I have done incomprehensible things that brought me to very, very, very, very low places. I have experienced desperation in my life where I felt absolutely desperate. I have experienced periods of my life of hopelessness. I had no hope. What I can tell you,

3:53:53as a living, breathing, walking testimony to my life is that Jesus Christ changed all of that. The way that it happened for me was that I was completely addicted to alcohol. I had to a point where I was completely addicted and I would drink to the point where my hands would shake. I remember waking up on a Saturday morning and my hands were shaking so bad and I was trying to write checks. And I was actually... holding my right hand with my left hand to try to write the checks out. I remember thinking of my parents and thinking, what would they think of me? It wasn't long after that happened that my dad called me over on a Sunday morning and he had big, giant tears in his eyes. And I remember seeing them pour over the side of his eyes. I'd only seen him cry a couple of times in my life. And his voice was shaking and he said, if you don't stop drinking, I can't have a relationship with you anymore.

3:55:10And I could tell just by looking at him, he was serious. And he stayed true to it. I left there and I got drunk that very day at home alone. Curtains drawn, phones off. That was my life. Jesus Christ entered my life in 2003. And it's never been the same. Ever since then, I have been an evolution of growth. Every single day, I get closer and closer to that. Every single day. There is something that changes me. If you have experienced any of that stuff that I talked about, go to Mikey show.com. Click on the help section and you can get help with any of that stuff that I just told you about. At the end of the show on Friday, I always play a song and this song is about hope. It's from a band called third day. The song is called tunnel and the words to the song are extremely.

3:56:35extremely powerful and inspirational. Have a great weekend. Have a safe weekend. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next, and we'll see you again on Monday when Mikey shows out. Late. I won't pretend to know what you're thinking. And I can't forget what you're going through. The music, all about the music.