The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/26/11
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
NFL training camp and free agencyWipeout TV show appearanceWheel of Pain gamesAmy Winehouse death and Russell Brand tweetAnders Breivik Norway attacksDominique Strauss‑Kahn sexual assault caseMark Zuckerberg and Bear Grylls hypothetical spa scenarioCrooked sheriff running gagwheel of painwipeoutamy winehouserussell brand
The show opened with Mikey welcoming listeners and noting the word of the day “waffle,” then moved into Chargers training‑camp news and the looming free‑agent frenzy involving A.J. Smith, Phillip Rivers, and Vincent Jackson. A large portion of the episode was devoted to the upcoming Wipeout appearance of Woods and Jay, the Wheel of Pain segment featuring duct‑tape chest waxing and BB‑gun shots, and the ensuing jokes about the “crooked sheriff” nickname. The hosts also spent time discussing serious news items: Amy Winehouse’s death and Russell Brand’s tweet, the Anders Breivik massacre in Norway and speculative ideas about studying his brain, and the Nafisatu Diallo interview alleging sexual assault by Dominique Strauss‑Kahn. Finally, a comedic “Why Are We Here?” bit imagined Mark Zuckerberg and Bear Grylls meeting at a spa, blending absurdity with the show’s trademark banter.
What happened, in order
Wheel of Pain – Duct Tape Chest Wax
The hosts introduce a new Wheel of Pain item where Woods and Jay must have their chests waxed with duct tape, prompting jokes about pain and masculinity.
Woods and Jay Selected for Wipeout
Mikey announces that Woods and Jay were chosen from 75,000 applicants to appear on the nationally televised ABC show Wipeout in two days.
Amy Winehouse Funeral and Russell Brand Tweet
The crew discusses Amy Winehouse’s private funeral happening that day and Russell Brand’s controversial tweet about her death.
Anders Breivik Norway Shooter Discussion
Mikey, Woods, and Jay talk about Anders Breivik’s claim that two terror cells helped him carry out the Oslo and Utoya attacks, debating what should be done with him.
Breivik Brain‑Harvest Idea
The hosts suggest taking Breivik’s brain to study it like antivenom, joking about using a food processor or wood chipper to dissect him piece by piece.
Nafisatu Diallo Interview on Strauss‑Kahn
Nafisatu Diallo, the hotel maid who accused Dominique Strauss‑Kahn of sexual assault, describes the incident on Good Morning America, insisting she wants justice.
Crooked Sheriff Poker Joke
During a poker game, Woods teases Mikey by calling him a “crooked sheriff” because of his aviator glasses, sparking a running gag about the nickname.
Why Are We Here? – Zuckerberg & Bear Grylls Spa
In a sketch, Mark Zuckerberg and Bear Grylls meet at a spa, debate clothing, and joke about building toilets and virtual networks while naked.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsJayL.O.B.ChrisNorvA.J. SmithPhillip RiversVincent JacksonKevin BurnettJeremy ClaryStephen CooperMalcolm FloydLegadoo Nane
34,722 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
All right, let's do this. Come on. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com is how you get a hold of us by text. If you'd like to get a hold of us by text, please do. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 157th year of the National Football League. San Diego and the rest of the nation prepare themselves now for the 2011 season. And whether you're a football fan or not, you've got to admit, it sure was a turd waiting for it. Feast. Unbelievable. But it's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. Yeah. Welcome to the party, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. That's great. Word of the day today is waffle. When we say waffle...
Please call us, be caller nine, and you will win Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow tickets August 2nd at Cricket. So, yeah, the deal is that the labor agreement, Woodsy, has been signed. It's done. It's a done deal. Nice. It's freaking great. Freaking great. All right, so I got a bunch of stuff to tell you, okay? All stuff that you're going to want to know as a Charger fan. Okay, so. The facility will open today in about 53 minutes. Wow. Okay? So there are guys waking up right now. Big, giant, black guys, L-O-B. Yeah. They're rubbing the sleep out of their eye. They're getting some coffee, and they're getting ready to drive to the Chargers facility. Yeah. 7 a.m. today. Training camp starts tomorrow. A few white guys, too. A few. Phillip Rivers. He's a white guy. A couple Latinos, maybe. Yeah, Latinos. Latinos. Yeah. Kevin something? Yeah. Sure. Kevin something. Very Latino name. Of all the Latino names that LLB could come up with, she came up with Kevin. Kevin Esperanza. Yes. All right. So they can report today. Training camp starts tomorrow. The first preseason game is August 11th.
August 11th. That can't be the case. That is the case. Because Woods, August 11th is clearly, I don't know, a week away. I know, dude. It's two weeks away. First preseason game, August 11th. Now, let me tell you this. If there's a guy in this city that I don't want to be today, it's A.J. Smith. You know why? Why? He's got 26 free agents and eight drafted rookies that he has to get signed. It is four months of work in two weeks he's got to do. Holy. Eight draftees. Eight guys we just drafted, we have not signed, and 26 free agents. And he's tough on that stuff, man. He is extremely tough on negotiating with free agents and with rookies. So some of the big names, guys, that could walk. Kevin Burnett, Jeremy Clary, Stephen Cooper, Malcolm Floyd, Legadoo Nane, Eric Weddle. Eric Weddle has missed three games in seven years or something ridiculous. And Vincent Jackson. Vincent Jackson is a guy that they are looking to possibly negotiate a long-term deal with. Really? Yeah, they're looking. And AJ says, well, we have a chance, is his quote in the paper today, is we've got a chance to sign him to a long-term deal. Steve Smith is a name. Now, also, remember, there are free agents from other teams that we want, that we want to look at. Steve Smith. Yes, Steve Smith. There's so many free agents out there right now. Does that...
Get anybody excited thinking about the possibility of Phillip Rivers to Vincent Jackson and maybe Steve Smith? Yeah. And you've got to sign Malcolm Floyd, too. And Legadoo. He played great last year. There's so many pieces out there that you've got to do. But 26 free agents, eight drafted rookies that you've got to get signed. And you've got to do it soon. Real, real soon. Unbelievable, dude. It's a frenzy. Oh, my gosh. It's a frenzy. And I know it all kicks off like 6 o'clock on Friday night is when the free agency opens up. And so everybody can start. They negotiate starting today. Really? Yeah, they can start negotiating today. Holy cow. Sign on Friday. Oh, my gosh. So they start the negotiation today. Yep. And they can sign a deal on Friday. Free agents can be signed starting Friday. So Friday is going to be a busy day, you know. In terms of throughout the day, watching the news as these guys are getting signed to new teams, maybe their current teams, whatever. Those cats can't practice until August 4th. Really? Yes. And then one week later, they will be taking on the Seattle Seahawks in the first preseason game. See, and this is what I mean. See, in a normal world, even though the rookies haven't signed, they still have been at, you know.
doing some, unless they're like a huge name. Right. But they're like learning. These guys, they're not going to know anything. Exactly. Oh. Crash course, dude. The coaches, all those guys have so much on their plate right now. If we don't make playoffs this year, I don't want anybody to be mad at me because, you know, it's not my fault that we were in a labor agreement. Well, no, Norv, but I mean, you haven't made the playoffs in a while. Well. I understand that. I understand that. Number one defense, number one offense. That is a true statement. I did have number one offense, number one defense. I can't remember if we went to the playoffs or not. You did not. That's right. We didn't go. But this year, I just want to let you know in case we don't go to the playoffs, the reason is it doesn't have anything to do with me. Well, doesn't it? No, because of the labor agreement. So you preemptively already say. If the labor agreement had happened back in April, we probably would have won the Super Bowl. Probably would have won the Super Bowl. But this year, there's no telling.
I'm going to try, but... Well, I mean, you ever just make excuses? I am not making one excuse for this football team other than we may not go to the playoffs or even finish 500. That's the only thing I'm saying. Because of the labor? Well, strictly because of the labor agreement, not to do with me. Well, it's up to you and your coaching staff now to get these guys ready, and it's up to your general manager to get these guys signed. Forget who the coaches are and feast. Okay. I don't remember who they are. To charge away. Feast on that. Well, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, football's back. Yeah. Oh, yes. 8.30 this morning, Wheel of Pain. Wheel of Pain. And we have a new item on the Wheel of Pain. Oh, my God. You nervous, Woodsy? Yeah. The new item that has been added to the Wheel of Pain, Jay, is what? Duct tape. And we're going to wax our chest. Oh, my gosh. I don't get paid enough for this. I know, dude. I know it. I know it. Listen, I'm going to just put this out there. I'm going to just put this out there. Jay and Woods are both men. They're both men. Okay? I could not do what they do. You guys even playing bag tag with one another for fun. I'm too old a gentleman to take part in. I always was. I was always too much of a wimp to get hit in the nuts. You know?
You guys do it to each other on a daily basis. Yes. Multi, several times. Several times. They grope one another. And they take it like men. I've seen Woods take the back of Jay's knuckles. And I know that his knuckles are moving at least 450 feet per second. So basically the discharge of an air gun, an air pistol, right in to Woods' boys. And Woods, he will exhaust his lungs by releasing air, but he's okay and willing to do it more. It reminds me of middle school. Yeah, it really is. It's a lot like middle school. It is. 570-1949 is our number. We want you to call us. We want you to say hi. Don't forget, Dave and Buster's party is two days away. As a matter of fact, if you go to MikeyShow.com right now, you can see...
The ticker. And the ticker says that it is two days, 13 hours, 45 minutes away. And what are we talking about? Dave and Buster's wipeout viewing party. Woods and Jay were selected out of 75,000 applicants. Bam. They were both selected to be on the show Wipeout. In past years, I have sent members of the Mikey show. To try. In fact, every year. Never. I mean, never anything. You guys, on your first try, selected. Yeah. Dynamic. Dynamic personalities. And so, Jay and Woods, in two days, are going to be on the nationally syndicated ABC's Wipeout. They are going to make us look like dorks. I can't tell you.
I can't even express to you the anxiety that I have over this deal. I was wondering about the anxiety because I kept thinking to myself, why is Woods so anxious? Because how could anybody be anxious that they are going to be on a TV show? But then I got it. I think I got it, Woods. Their whole bit is making fun of you on the show. Oh, yeah. That's their whole deal. They make you look ridiculous. And then they comment on what an idiot you are. And then you have listeners that will also. They're clever. Really clever. And then you have listeners that will comment on what an idiot you are, even though they. And they take, they film it, and then they edit down whatever you say. And we were saying crazy stuff. I mean, they were like, hey, say that thing. I'm like, blah. Look at me. I'm an idiot. You're an idiot. I'm perfect. Yeah. They're going to do. They're going to. Oh, wow. I am trying to get out of an obstacle, and Jay is standing on the sidelines screaming, come on, Chubbs. Come on, Chubbs. Get out of there, Chubbs. Yes. At one point, I said, what is this? Hey, don't tell us all of it. A commercial for Weight Watchers? Oh. Oh, yeah. It was awful. Oh, my gosh. It was awful. What is this? A commercial for Weight Watchers? You're ruining it. He's not ruining it. He's giving us something to look forward to. Just a taste. A tease.
Just a little taste. Come on, chubs! Come on, run, chubs! If you don't know what wipeout is, it's a big obstacle course that they put people on to make them look dumb because they wipe out. And I mean vicious wipeouts. I had some epic, epic wipeouts in the first round. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I can't impart to you how nervous I am. I'll give you an example. And I'll use myself so I don't have to make fun of you guys. If I were on the show, they would go, ah, look. And I were, you know, like the Mexican. If I was on Latinos versus white guys. All right? You're the Mexicutioner. Yes. Would be your nickname. Yes. There's actually an MMA fighter that calls himself the Mexicutioner. He's a genius. But they would say something like, wow, looks like he's doing the Mexican fat dance. They make these jokes, you know, that just kill you. And so now I'm starting to understand why Woods is worried. But anyway, Thursday night from 7 to 9, we're going to be at Dave and Buster's in Mission Valley. All you M1s, all you crazy M1s are coming out there. We already know that. I don't know how they're going to fit everybody. It's going to be crowded. Get there early if you want to be there. I can't believe I'm staying up this late.
But it's going to be a fun night. And DVR it. Watch it. Send it to your friends. And then you can count on this too. Friday morning we'll be on breaking it down. Friday morning we'll be on to break it all down. Yep. So a small private funeral will happen for Amy Winehouse. It's going to happen on Tuesday. Today. Is it today? Yeah, today's Tuesday. I thought maybe they were waiting to get everybody there. They did an autopsy yesterday, so today is the day. They're not really saying much about, you know, obviously when and where and all that stuff, but we do know that it's going to be today. They still don't know what killed her officially, but we know. It's probably drugs. They're waiting for lab tests to come back from Scotland Yard, but... Like Woodsy said, yeah, they did an autopsy yesterday, so we'll see. I can't imagine it's anything else besides drugs, right? Can't be. She didn't die on natural causes, I don't think. 570-1949 is our number. Jay, you want to make a joke or anything? Before we go, you can text. 949mikey at gmail.com. If you weren't listening yesterday, Jay, of course, the first. Jay will be the first person in the office. You know, if Jay were on the show, the office.
he would be the guy in the office, he'd be the first person to make the joke, you know, and that would be his character. Right. Would be the first person to make the inappropriate joke. And people would be like, oh, no, Jay. Oh, boy. Jay's going to make that joke, I bet. Everyone's going to be doing it very soon. Well, there you go. Okay, so the dude in Norway, you know, the Norway shooter, Anders Breivik. He says that two terror cells helped him carry out what he did on Friday. I don't know how you can really believe a nutbag, but maybe they did, maybe they didn't. What is a terror cell? Terror cell is Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda is a terror cell. It's like a group, a cell like a group, right? And he says that he was a little bit surprised that he was able to pull it off, especially the bombing, he said. The bombing that killed eight people in Oslo in a building, government building. And he killed 68 people on this little tiny island that there was a youth camp at. What do you do with this guy now at this point? Like, what do you do? Do you dissect him for the rest of his life? Do you just put him away and let him rot? Or do you kill him? What do you do? I think that's a good idea, man. Dissect him and figure out what his deal is, if you can, so that you can try to.
You know how they take rattlesnake venom and they make anti-venom out of it? That's what they should do. Take this guy's brain, figure out what's up, and maybe treat people. It's insane. That is one of the gnarliest stories I've ever seen. It's awful. It's probably one of the biggest massacre-type stories ever. I'd put him in a food processor and dissect him up. It's too small, a food processor. It'd be slow, but that's for sure. It'd take a while. That's what I'm counting on. Just piece by piece? Piece by piece. Start with one arm, go to the next. See, Jay says that, but I think that once it started, he'd be like, man, it's taking too long. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. It's taking too long. A hand would be the biggest thing you'd really be able to put in there. What about a wood chipper, Jay? It'd be way too fast. I'd want to take it really good and slow. You want to take your time. Take it slow. Make it count. That's a little sadistic. I feel bad for his father who released the statement because his dad didn't do anything. I guess that's to be debated, right? But I hate to get into that game because, you know, you can't blame it on the dad. You never know. He says, I would like to say that I feel an incredible grief and despair over what's happened. I often think of how terrible it must be for those who are affected by this. I wish I could do something for them. But here I am powerless to do anything. It's his dad. You know, you never want your son to be some monster. Yeah, you know, you...
I remember when Columbine went down, they were talking to the parents. And, you know, the parents had no idea. And everybody liked to point the finger at the parents. Well, you should have known. Right. You should have been more involved in their lives. And, you know, that's a grown man right there. His dad, you know, what can he do? That's exactly it. Like, you don't know. I mean, you could do your best to raise a kid, but you don't know if he's a complete whack job. Right. Let's see. 5701949. Got this for you, too. This is. An interview with the lady that Dominique Strauss or Dominique Strauss Kahn is accused of raping and fondling and all that. The maid. OK, first of all, to reacquaint you with the story. This is that dude from France that came here, had immunity. And, you know, because he's a diplomat. He comes if you're a diplomat, you come to the United States, you have immunity.
And so dude comes here, allegedly diddles with a maid in his hotel. That's a great word. She accuses him of the diddle. Yeah. And they take him under arrest and blah, blah, blah for diddling. Official charge. Now, here she is on Good Morning America talking about it. I was like, I'm so sorry. I turned my head. He come to me and grabbed my breast. No, you don't have to be sorry. I said, stop safe. I don't want to lose my job. The woman at the center of the case now reveals herself to the world. Her name is Nafisatu Diallo. Nafi for short. Oh my gosh, that guy. Props. That is not easy to say. I have it written in front of me. Nafisatu, I think. Nafi for short. Nafi for short. Nafi. Much rather go with Nafi.
A 32-year-old hotel maid from Guinea, West Africa. And in her first television interview, Nafi vividly recounts the day she was allegedly sexually assaulted by Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the man who, at the time, was the head of the International Monetary Fund and in the running to be the next president of France. Yeah, I was like, stop, stop this, stop this. But he won't say nothing. He kept pushing me, pushing me, pushing me to the hallway. Pushing me. Pushing me. Pushing me to the hallway. Okay? Pushing me to the hallway. Kids. Children. Little ones. Second graders. Pushing me. Pushing me. Did that say note content next to it? I was like, stop. Stop this. Stop this. But he won't say nothing. He keep pushing me. Pushing me. Pushing me to the hallway. Back to the hallway. Keep pushing me. Stop saying I'm not laughing. Listen to me. I know you're not. I'm not laughing. You know, you're a 48-year-old man. That's a 36-year-old man. That's a 30-year-old woman right there. I am 41 years of age. I got the youngest person here is Chris. He's just shaking his head. He's trying to hold it in. I was so afraid. I was so scared. I thought you said your name was Navi. She said, I was so afraid. Just unbelievable. Thought we could get through that.
Did you? We got more. We got more of that. I want to know more details about this thing. And she was like, this is some of the biggest audio out there today. Because one of the things she says, she's not a prostitute. I mean, this is just, it's crazy audio. So we'll give it to you next. With everything in this country tied up in the court systems, I think we need a little more of this. at gmail.com. Call 570-1949. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hey, I'm One Nation. If you've used AT&T and it's been cool, you dig it, call us, let us know at 570-1949. Love to put you on the air talking about how you've taken the advice, you've done it, you dig it. You get AT&T U-verse for $29 a month, six months. That includes a DVR. And if you do it today,
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This report is brought to you by the Mini, the Mini Cooper Hard Topic. It's 37 miles per gallon. That's 37 commute changing, rarely having to fill your tank miles per gallon. Visit mini of SDCounty.com for details. Well, we've got a little slow in this morning at Hammershaw Boulevard, Sacramento Avenue. An earlier accident there left a couple cars over on the right shoulder. They've got tow trucks on the scene right now. In Escondido, the 15 southbound between Valley Parkway and 9th Avenue. It's in the mid-40s and a little slow here on the 163 northbound. This report also brought to you by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, August 1st, National Minority Donor Awareness Day. It's a perfect time to learn more about organ donation. How you can sign up, visit organdonor.gov. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I have a pond. I built a pond in my yard. On FM 94.9. This is the word of the day. So when I say it, and you're calling nine, you get Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow tickets August 2nd at Cricket. 8.30 this morning, Wheel of Pain. Woods and Jay. I will give them band names, and they have to tell me whether the band name is real or fake. Because half of them I make up. I'm so stinking bad at this game. It's not even fun. And Jay's good at it. I don't.
He cheats. No, I don't cheat. Yeah, he cheats. Well, it's impossible because he can't know these obscure bands any more than he can know the ones that I make up. And so he somehow has an ear for what's real and what's fake. I'm scared today. You're building me up. He's so good at it. Didn't he lose last time, though? He lost last time, didn't he? He didn't have to do Wheel of Pain? He's done it one time. Yeah. We've added a new thing on there, and that is chest waxing. With duct tape. Perfect. Perfect. Oh, somebody's got a frowny face. It'll save you a trip to the salon. Yeah, I don't get waxed, though. No. Only thing I wax, L-O-B, because I'm a man. Are the boys. Eyebrows. Is my eyebrows. Oh. I don't wax anything. That's fine. I do get deep conditions.
Except the inside of your nose and your ears. I've done that before. Yes, that's true. You do wax. I have waxed my nose for a bit. Yes. Well, but then you've returned. No, never. To get it done again, right? Never. No, never once. That's right. I did like that. You do mani-pedis, though. I have done a pedi. More than me in 2011. More than Lauren O'Brien a girl. Fair enough. All right. And then you did the deep condition. I did do a deep condition under a heat lamp. Who? At a salon in town here. Here's more of Nafi. Nafi's the girl that is a, she was the maid in New York that has accused Dominique Strauss-Kahn, this Frenchman, of messing with her, sexually assaulting her. Here she is talking about how she wants him to go away. What do you want? I want justice. I want him to go to jail. I want him to know you cannot use your power when you do something like this. I agree with her. If it's true, I agree with her 100%. For Nafi, who has a 15-year-old daughter, it's not just about defending her story, but her reputation as well. There have been New York Post headlines calling her a hooker.
Are you a prostitute? What? Wow. I don't get that. What? Like, wait a minute. You mean really calling her? Like saying that she's actually. Like a call girl. What? You're kidding me. That's terrible. It's not true, is it? Who knows? I'm not. And I've never been called that. Oh, that's terrible. Awful. It's warm. God is my witness. I'm telling the truth from my heart. God knows that. How could they even say that? Can't they get sued if she's not? They do weird things with their headlines. They're sensational. I know they're news, but they're a little bit on the tabloidy side. Can you say someone is a f***er? Freaking prostitute? You got to have some sort of proof. There was a tabloid yesterday I saw about Casey Anthony's marriage plans. So I'm sure they can throw things out there. The post? No, it was a different one. But I'm saying you can do things with your headlines and then when you put the facts in there, it's very different than what the headlines say. It's a true statement. Yeah. Well, man, that is so mean.
What a terrible thing to say about her. Now, Jon Stewart, he was talking to Doogie Howser, M.D. And this is good news for you, L.O.B. Doogie Howser, M.D., is one of the voices for the new Smurfs movie. What? I thought you were really excited about the Smurfs movie. I am, but not his voice. Oh. Wow. Irritating. Really? Yeah. Well, here's Jon Stewart asking him about it. So I look at the trailer. It says, this film is currently unrated. Yes, it is. It's the blue version. He's playing Vanity. Vanity was like the questionably gay Smurf. Is that true? Questionably gay Smurf? He's like the... He's like the Pat Smear of the Smurfs, the Foo Fighters guitar player. You're just not really sure. Pat Smear, the Foo Fighters guitar player, wife, and a kid. Yeah, yet. Beard talks like this.
I think that was the Smurf's name. Always had like a mirror and a flower behind his ear and was always like... What did he talk like? It was a guy. What did Vanity talk like? I think like that, but I can't remember. So Vanity was kind of like this? I think so, but I can't remember. Come on, Smurfs. Come on, fellow Smurfs. You're Smurfing me. Don't Smurf me, you little SOB. You're such a Smurf. You're a silly Smurf. Smurf me, Smurf you, pal. Smurf me, Smurf you. Get the Smurf out of here. Sorry. What? What would they have to try and take out? Can't they just slap the G on it or the PG? Or are there certain things in it where they're like, maybe we shouldn't have ****? We're not sure how my character **** the Smurf scene. Not you, the two Smurfs. Not you and the Smurf. We were sure. The two Smurfs. You thought his name was Grouchy before. Gargamel. So there he is. Whole new take on the gerbil. Uncomfortable. Stand that, Woods. Get that tube. I didn't get it one bit. Richard Gere would get it. My favorite part of Jay's inappropriate jokes is that after he makes the joke, he goes... I still don't get it. M1 Robot from Mira Mesa, how are you? How are you doing?
It drives me nuts. I'm listening to you guys talk about it. I've seen the previews a couple times for the Smurf movie. He's actually in it. It's not a voice. Oh, I didn't know. Smurfs is live action. It's not animated? It's both. It's like live action with the computer animated in. And they like invade Doogie's house. Doogie Howser's house. There you go. And he's all upset because he's trying to be an MD at 14. And here comes a bunch of Smurfs in there. Yeah, it looks like a real gem of a movie. L.O.B.'s looking forward to it, man. She was from that Smurf generation. I never saw one episode. I didn't know anything about it. And according to L.O.B., there's a bisexual Smurf. There's a transgendered Smurf. And she said that some of the Smurfs are... One of them is this vixen that's always trying to... Smurfette. Smurfette is trying to get them.
I purposely have not watched the trailers because I don't want to get turned off by it and be like, eh, I don't want to see it. I just want to go. I do want to see it. Just go and don't have any preconceived notion about it. You ought to see the, what is that, robot chicken when they did the Smurfs and they did it like the movie Seven. They did? All the Smurfs were dying by like the way that, you know, the Baker Smurf, they found them in the oven. Holy cow. At the very end, they go, I wonder what happened to Masturbator Smith. Oh, boy. Shock, shock. Shock, shock. Have you had a marijuana cigarette today? No, sir. Okay. I'm not a cop. You don't have to. I'm not a cop. Thank you. No, sir. No, sir. Crooked Sheriff. Crooked Sheriff. Thank you very much. Thank you. Hey, Mike. This is Woods at his party on Saturday. Hey, Mike. Yeah, dude. Are you playing poker? Yes, I am. That's all the chips in front of me. I've got two cards in my hand. Hey, dude. You see my friend from my baseball team over there? Yes, I do. Do you know what he said you look like? What? He said you look like a cricket sheriff.
Like a crooked sheriff, Mike. And then he just died laughing, Woods. He did. He just died laughing. It's hysterical. And I go, ah, crooked sheriff. And so Woods. It's Mikey's fake laugh. Ah. Ah. It's a fake bit. You know, and so Woods comes back five minutes later and he goes, hey, crooked sheriff, you want something to eat? Yeah. You want me to get you something? Because I'm going to go inside and get something. Sure. What do you want? I'll give you anything you want, Crooked Sheriff. You want something crooked? You're going to get something like, you're going to write something to be a fake ticket. You're so crooked. And it was because I was wearing aviator glasses. You looked crooked, though. And you're sitting there, stoic, with your poker face on, all those chips in front of you. Right. It was Crooked Sheriff. You are the Crooked Sheriff. Woods, I don't know if he forgot that he told me that I was a crooked sheriff. No. But he would come back as if he hadn't told me yet. Yes. Hey, crooked sheriff. You're the crooked sheriff. Sometimes when you've had a few pops, you just want to make sure that someone realizes. Remembers. Yeah. That they are the crooked sheriff. Yes. There's a crooked sheriff over there. Hey, Rebecca. Hey, everybody. Rebecca, what's it like being married to a guy so crooked?
He's such a sheriff, but he's crooked. He arrests you with his eyes. Two Australian police officers used pepper spray to fight off a rogue kangaroo that was attacking a woman in her backyard in the outback in Australia. Now, this was a very older woman named Phyllis Johnson. All right. Fake man. She was taken to the hospital. Got to get treated for cuts and bruises. Happened on Sunday. And very sad. You know, she's okay, though. The important thing to know is that she's okay. But to be attacked as an elderly woman by a kangaroo is no fun for anybody. Let's talk to the Australian woman. The Australian woman on the line here.
Phyllis Johnson, 94-year-old woman. Jay can just get that thing dialed up. He's having a hard time. Oh, look at him. He's so nervous. Oh, gosh, he hung up. Now he's getting his phone out of his pocket. He's so nervous. The phone is the size of a piece of notebook paper. Dude, you know how big that phone is? Picture an Etch-A-Sketch. That's how big his cell phone is. It's like an Etch-A-Sketch that he puts in his pocket. Okay, here she is. Here is 94-year-old Australian. Phyllis Johnson. Hello, Phyllis. Hi. Say again? A dingo got your baby. You were attacked, Phyllis. What? Yes, it is. Is this the 94-year-old Australian Phyllis Johnson? Part of Australia. You from Cleveland?
More like maybe Nottingham? Yeah. Is this crooked sheriff? Oh, he's something else. That he is. Found another snake by our house. Second rattlesnake. It's been run over in the road. By a roodoo. And don't know what to do. Don't know what to do, Woods. I wouldn't go outside. I think I'm going to buy a... Okay, question, Jay. Can I shoot a .22 pistol if it's got birdshot in it? No. Can't shoot that in city limits? Can't discharge a firearm. You're a maniac. If you're worried about a snake, just use a shovel and chop its head off. I am not going to use a shovel. Why? I'd have to get...
Within shovel's length distance of a rattlesnake. By a really long shovel, then. Really? It's like a javelin with a shovel at the end of it. I need a javelin-sized shovel. Just joust it. Snakes are there to help. They're there to help with the rodent control. They're there to bite you. No, they're not. When you have little kids around, you've got to be careful, you know? Well, then just you should snake your backyard. You put, like, the wire across where the snakes can't get through your gates on the side. It's a good idea, Jay. Yeah. Do you know how to do that? Yeah. Maybe I hired Jay to come over and use that wheelbarrow that he made. To carry me around? Mm-hmm. Speaking of Jay, he says in his recap, I have to say that finding furniture on the side of the road is one of my favorite things. It is not. My wife Kim always gives me a hard time, but lately she has started coming around. Oh, my God. I found a cool frame for an outdoor couch. A frame. For a couch. Didn't have the mattress on it. Can you imagine a couch with no cushions? Full of crabs and all kinds of... Scabies. It's a wooden frame. Parvo. Parvo. That's hideous. It's really nice. Come on, Jay. Is it? It is. Did you find it in Rancho Santa Fe? Yes. Because if you didn't, then I don't have anything to do with it. He found a couch.
That didn't have cushions on it. Just a frame. You're a hoarder. You're a hoarder. You're a hoarder. It's an outdoor couch. Yeah, of course it's an outdoor couch. It's meant for the dump. Yeah. Which is outdoors. It's a wooden frame. It has AIDS on it. You can't bring it inside. I washed the AIDS off. With what? AIDS remover. Fair enough. He got a plant rack for the front porch. Really nice. Metal. Rusty? Of course it's rusty. Like a teal. Actual color, black. Now it looks teal. He also got two chairs for by the pool. They're wicker. They're not a wicker. They're like a fake wicker. You know, like a white guy trying to pretend. Anyway, two chairs for the pool. Wicker chairs. Do you know why somebody throws out wicker chairs? Because they're garbage. Well, because... They're wicker chairs. Well, that and the fact that they don't support. They're perfect. They're in perfect shape. You make the worst noise when you sit on them. They were moving. They hurt. When you come over and you sit on them, you're going to go, Jay? I'm not sitting in those crab-infested wicker chairs. You will sit in anything. Some say it's cheap. I call it recycling. I'm antiquing. Antiquing. You get antiques at an antique store, not off the side of the five. Where do you find them?
People that are moving from their houses, they can't move them. Leave it in the garbage for the garbage. No, they put it out front with free sign. Yeah, for the garbage men. Sundays are perfect. Like after a garage sale, sometimes they just push them out the curb. The free sign is invisible, but he can see it. Right. And it says... Invisible ink. It's written in invisible ink on invisible paper, and it says, please take this. It's free. You got to use deer urine to actually see the writing, but I've got plenty of that. I carry it in a bottle, and then when I see free stuff... You know, free stuff. I spray it. And I go, oh, it's free. As long as someone's not sitting in it, it's free. Jay. Yes. Unbelievable. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. went to SeaWorld yesterday, put sunscreen everywhere but her face. She's a white girl. Can you tell? A young white girl with blue eyes and blonde hair. She forgot to put the stuff on her face. Did you forget or did you want a tan face? No. I think that I just got carried away and was like, all right, I'm all done. Because I even did my neck. Yeah. And I think I just, I don't know. Because it was really hurried. Oh, it's all red. It hurts. Does it? It does? Yeah. Oh, it's the worst. But everywhere else was protected. Everywhere? I wasn't walking around SeaWorld naked. Yeah. My clothes protected the rest of it.
It's so weird because I've done sketches of you at SeaWorld. When I'm sitting in the parlor. In the steel tank. In my stolen chair. That's my writing chair. That's my sketching chair. My sketching chair. The wicker chair is my new sketching chair. Ew. Wicker chair. I just sit in my wicker chair in the parlor and draw naked pictures of you over at SeaWorld. Feeding fish to killer whales. Drew one yesterday called the whale. Today I'm working on orca. Creepy. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. So, did you hear about Russell Brand? And Russell Brand is in the news because of his tweets about Amy Winehouse. I read, and I didn't think it was that big a deal. But maybe you guys can explain it to me, why it was that big a deal. Because he's married to Katy Perry, who's a very attractive, foxy lady.
They were on Good Morning America reacting to the reaction that he's got because of what he tweeted. She's blonde now. Hot. She's blonde? Oh, yeah. I don't see that. Google me. So we'll do that. And we will also have you listening for the word of the day, which is waffle. That's going to get you into Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Boom. Skeletor, that's Terminator's wife. Think you got something worth adding to The Mikey Show? 949mikey at gmail.com. That's all I wanted to hear! Or call Mikey now, 570-1949. I don't like how this is already beginning. FM. So where's the best place to be this summer? Oh, I can answer that. Out front, leading the way with Ford during the Best Place to Be sales event. Ford's only the best-selling brand in America. Cars, trucks, SUVs, crossovers, everything you'd expect from a leader. They've got the Explorer, the brand new Focus, the Fiesta, the Fusion...
the Taurus, all with innovative technology. Sync, EcoBoost, Active Park Assist. Of course, everything is very fuel efficient. I'm telling you, the Ford Best Place to Be sales event. It really is the best place to be. See your San Diego County Ford dealer and get zero APR on a huge selection of new models or get cash back up to $5,000. We're also offering some of our lowest lease payments of the year. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. Ford, it's built for San Diego. Cashback available on Ranger V6 and includes trade-in bonus available to customers who trade in a 1995 or newer car, truck, or SUV. Ford Motor Credit financing required for bonus cash and zero API. Available only on select models. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 8-1-11. Everybody hates tests, especially if you're a bell pepper trying to make your way into an Albertsons. See it, Albertsons? All of our produce has to pass three separate inspections to prove their freshness. We have fresh experiences. Our fruits and vegetables are checked on the farm, at the distribution center, and at our store. And while our produce has to pass three tests, the final exam is how it tastes. Albertsons, talk about fresh. Stop at your neighborhood Albertsons now through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred savings card. Right now, Albertsons chicken drumsticks, whole legs, or thighs are just 99 cents a pound. And select packages of fresh berries are buy one, get one free. Mix, match, and save today. Plus, pick up...
Select sizes and varieties of Marie Callender's Frozen Dinners, Pot Pies, and more. They're priced at an incredibly low $1.88 each. Fresh and exciting summertime savings. And more at Albertsons. This Saturday, July 30th, reggae sensation Ziggy Marley makes his return to Del Mar. It's the Ziggy Marley Salutes Legends of Reggae Concert and Beer Fest. Enjoy the coolest suds and rock to the rhythm of Ziggy Marley in an all-star roots reggae lineup. Free with racetrack admission or $20 after the last race. Saturday, July 30th. Presented by Heineken. An 18 and up concert. Del Mar. Cool as ever. This just in, happy people tend to be healthier. It's something we always suspected but never knew for sure.
that people with higher rates of happiness reported 50% better health. Is it just me, or do happy people just seem to get all the breaks? How about the rest of us? How do we become happier and take advantage of the health? Kaiser Permanente is here to tell you that it can indeed be done. Studies show that performing an act of kindness can increase your happiness. The more acts of kindness, the better you feel. So next time, let's summon ahead of you in line at the store. Pay the toll for the car behind you. It may sound like a bumper sticker, but a random act of kindness is never trite. So increase your happiness quotient and do something nice for someone. Secretly, you'll be doing something nice for yourself. We're Kaiser Permanente, and we want you to live well, be kind, and thrive. To learn more, visit kp.org slash thrive and click on Mind, Body, Spirit. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man.
Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late, and way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego County are now open 24 hours. So drive through any time. Participation varies. Brides and grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, July 31st. It's the Bridal Bazaar. There's flowers, there's caterers, there's cakes, there's everything is here. It's awesome. It's kind of everything's here so you can compare and get ideas. All the vendors... here everyone's been really great and the quality of everything is really great too you get ideas for things you've never even thought of things you would have never thought to add to your wedding at the bridal bazaar you'll meet more than 200 exhibitors with everything you need for a perfect wedding including a spectacular bridal fashion show by gretchen productions a lot of those dresses i've actually seen in magazines and i've wanted to try them on so now i know where i can go and put them on i like the dresses a lot i thought the dresses were beautiful the little children's outfits were absolutely adorable plus you
If your heart's in it, this is the place to be. Hey, it's Mikey for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Everyone thinks shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of... Balboa and Convoy, and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done. As long as the sun keeps shining. Online at sunglassoptical.com. This Friday, from the director of Iron Man, critics are calling cowboys and aliens the boldest blockbuster of the summer. They're here. They're going to wipe us out. They can follow me. It's unlike anything you've ever seen. We can stop them. You just have to work together. Daniel Craig. Harrison Ford. Grab your guns. We're right now. Cowboys and Aliens. Rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Your San Diego County Lexus dealer invites you to test drive a luxurious Lexus automobile today. Or for more information, visit Lexus.com.
This report brought to you by Allstate. Renters Insurance covers things like your laptop, your bike, digital camera, even when they're not in your apartment. Protect your stuff with Allstate today for about $17 a month. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. On the 15 northbound right before Bernardo Drive, we got a pickup truck that blew a tire. It's in a narrow center divider. Also, the 94 eastbound between Home Avenue, Massachusetts Avenue. It's stop and go in the teens, in the teens as well in Escondido. On the 15 southbound between the 78 center center. This report, it is also brought to you by USAA. USAA's commitment to serving the financial needs of the military, vets and their families. It's now closer to home. Visit the new USAA Financial Center at Fenton Marketplace. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything here. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. She take my money. Well, I'm in need. Hello, Bree. She's a trifling. Oh, she's a gold digger. Way over town. Hello, Bree. I ain't saying she a gold digger. I'm in need. She ain't messing with no broke.
So what did Russell Brand say? What got Russell Brand? It was all the big stuff and all the big hubbub about Russell Brand. I'll tell you in a second. Wheel of Pain at 8.30, so Jay or Woods will be spinning the Wheel of Pain. We'll find out who. Word of the Day's Waffle. When you hear it, call her 9. And you'll get tickets to Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Five people got arrested in Escondido because they were stealing caps from fire hydrants because they're made out of brass. Then they take them to a recycle center and they make money. They've been doing it since July 16th. 1,200 pounds of caps from fire hydrants. How much is that worth? Roughly $25,000. Recycling centers should get lit up for that as well. No doubt. Yeah, for sure. Microsoft had to apologize too. Because they sent out a tweet and they were saying, hey, listen, don't forget, deceased musician Amy Winehouse, her music is available and her last album is available at our Zune marketplace. And people started retweeting comments like, classy, crass much? So then they released this tweet. Apologies to everyone if our earlier Amy Winehouse download tweets seem purely commercially motivated.
Far from the case, we assure you. Then they followed with this tweet. With Amy W's passing, the world has lost a huge talent. Our thoughts are with Amy's family and friends at this very sad time. And don't forget to pick up a new album. And don't forget to get the deluxe edition of Back in Black. Anyway, Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Yeah, get some. Well, it is football time again, you guys. I told you earlier, Chargers players are now probably filing into the Chargers team facility right now. Training camp will begin tomorrow. AJ Smith got a lot of work to do. He's got 26 free agents and eight drafted rookies to sign in the next basically two weeks. First game kicks off August 11th against Seattle. Seattle! The Seahawks of Seattle. And the Padres won yesterday 5-4. They beat Cliff Lee and the Phillies. Finally, it was a 10-game losing streak in a row over our San Diego Padres, but they pulled it out. That's good. And they won. This is here at the radio station. That is not her making those other noises. I'm ruining myself. We got some really incredible...
sort of acoustics going on in there. I did. And the song is called Angel of Light. And it's going all the way to the top comma baby. So beast. People have been requesting it and I've been forgetting it. And so and I well what I'm saying is I've been forgetting to do it. I love the song. Don't want to make it available to anybody for download. Maybe we wait and sell it for charity or something. We know it's going to be worth something. Overkill that day. And there it is. Good acoustics in there. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn down your radio, get to the point, and don't cuss. You know the rules. You're building the nation all the time. You've got a M1 sticker on your car, hopefully the new Mikey Show sticker. It's available here at the radio station. And hopefully you've got one on your car. So Katy Perry and her husband.
is Russell Brand, and they were talking about the tweet that he made about Amy Winehouse's death. Amy Winehouse, I have to mention the sad passing. What was your reaction to that? My heart felt really sad. My husband, who's been clean and sober for almost nine years, I see him working a program and working on himself every single day, and I see how... how much work it takes to be clean and sober when you have, you know, addiction on your hands. So I'm just, it gave me a real gratefulness for my husband who got clean when he was 27 and I feel really sad and I just hope she finds peace. So yeah, did you guys see it? Did you hear about it? The tweet that he did on Amy Winehouse? Was it controversial? He was saying that she was, you know, he was kind of insinuating that she was used and that she's been used by people. And it doesn't matter, you know, if people are going to talk about could she have been saved. Doesn't matter if she could be saved. Now she's gone. And he said this. When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction, you await the phone call. There will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will come.
and be from the attic themselves telling you that they've had enough and they're ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course, though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it's too late and that she's gone. Frustratingly, it's not your call. Frustratingly, it's not a call that you can ever make it. It must be received. It's possible to intervene. So it's a very, very long kind of open letter that he wrote. But he's upset about it. And he's also upset that people are talking about how she's a member of the so-called 27 Club. He's upset about that. She died at 27 years old. What are you supposed to do? Not mention it. It's interesting. Right. It's interesting. The fact that her and Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrissey all died at the age of 27. That's interesting. Absolutely. It's actually fascinating. Why? At 27? I wonder why they die at that age. So this was controversial as well. You guys tell me what you think. It was a NASCAR pre-race prayer that went viral. This has now become viral on the intranets.
Heavenly Father, we thank you tonight for all your blessings you said in all things give thanks. So we want to thank you tonight for these mighty machines that you brought before us. Thank you for the Dodges and the Toyotas. Thank you for the Fords. And most of all, we thank you for Roush and Yates partnering to give us the power that we see before us tonight. Thank you for GM Performance Technology and the R07 engines. Thank you for Sunoco Racing Fuel and Goodyear tires that bring performance and power to the track. Lord, I want to thank you for my smoking hot wife tonight, Lisa. My two-chill and Emma are as usual tonight. May they put you this great track in Jesus' name. That is like Talladega Nights. Yeah, it is. That's exactly what it's like. And it's like Talladega Nights, too. I will punch you. It's just like that one. I don't see, I don't know why it's a problem. I think it's great. I think it's hysterical. This prayer brought to you by. Yeah, it's totally NASCAR. Because that's what NASCAR is, just sponsor after sponsor. Absolutely. If that's what he's thankful for, that's what he's thankful for. Absolutely. So are we to judge. There's no rules about what you can and can't pray for, I don't think. Or what you can be thankful for. Right, yeah. You know what I mean?
Boogity, boogity, boogity. I was telling Woods about this documentary on HBO that was real gritty called Hard as Nails. And it's about this guy that does like shock stuff for kids, you know, in his ministry. And he's taken a leak in one scene and he's at the urinal and they're shooting it from the back. And he just prays all the time. So he's like, Lord, thank you for this pee. This is a great pee. He just prays all the time, you know, and he'll thank for everything. And I was like, wow. Was he really thankful for it or was he just saying thankful for it? I think he was enjoying it. I think he was enjoying it. Sometimes, you know, it's very, it's a relief. You know, sometimes it's really a relief. Guys and girls are different, though, with the going wee-wee because, for instance, guys do a shimmy, girls don't do the shimmy. Right. You guys don't do that. You don't do that. That's good. The pee shiver. Yeah, the pee shiver. In fact, when Jake first did that, Rebecca thought something was wrong. Because she didn't have any brothers. She never saw you do it? No, because I didn't urinate in front of her. Oh, wow, Jay just gave me a look like he just tilted his head to the side like a German shepherd. I did too. That heard a noise that no one else heard. Never in front of her? No, why would you? You're carrying on a conversation. Do you shut the door? Oh, you sit down. Most of the time I sit down.
I would say 5% of the time I stand, you know. That's only when you're at work. Only when I'm at work because they have a urinal here. And it's faster. But most of the time I sit, which I don't want her to see. I really don't want her to see that. Nobody does. Nobody does. Thank you, LB. No offense. I wouldn't want to see anyone do that. Some taken. Let's be honest. Some taken. I wouldn't want to see any man do that. I got you. Taye Diggs. Unless it was Taye Diggs. No. Even that. No. Terrell Owens. Mike Vick. No. Just coffee stirring. Let's just leave that right there. Let's just leave. Just walk away. Let's just walk away. Let's just walk away from it. The comment's there. It's still waving at us, the comment. You don't have to. I didn't know if you knew it. I know what it was. I know what it was, L.O.B. Knew what it was. This water's cold. It's deep. First time I heard Matt came over to my house and peed, he went, boop, boop, boop, boop, afterwards. I was like, what went on in there? He's like, oh, just a shiver. And he does the da-da-da-da? I don't think every time that he went, boop, boop, boop, like, victory.
Have you seen him do that? No. Because Woods and Jay are acting like it's a weird thing. You've never seen him go from behind. Oh, pee? Yeah, all the time. Plenty of times. Hiking, I mean, it's kind of inevitable. Well, Mike, you wouldn't know anything about that. Of course. Yeah, my wife sees me hiking all the time. She sees me pee when I hike. There's not really a situation where she would. Your house is very buttoned up. It's very buttoned up. Well, I wouldn't... I think it is. I think it's fair to say that it's buttoned up, but I would also say that I'm not really sure how she would see that. Backyard? There's not a lot of grab ass going around in there. Not a lot of squeeze, little boob honk. None. In the backyard, you're both out there working in the yard or something? Well, we're not out there both working in the yard. We're never both out there working in the yard. She doesn't like to work in the yard. It's not her bit. Okay, you're out by the pool swimming, and you decide to jump out of the pool real quick to go over behind the...
Fruit trees. She wouldn't see. She wouldn't just continue a conversation? She'd continue a conversation. She wouldn't see it. I'll be working in the garden and Kim will be right there like, hey, hold on a second. Never, never have. How does Jamie see you? Because our bathroom is, she'll be at the sink brushing her hair, probably fixing her hair, curling her hair, conditioning her hair, doing something with her hair. And I'll be, I'll have the door open just, Kim. Whenever. Rebecca gets dressed. She's got a vanity. And the door to the restroom is directly across from that. And, you know, for privacy, I will go in and shut the door. No matter what I'm doing. Yeah, I'll just leave it open. Me too. Married. I mean, not if I'm going. Mostly, I don't want her to see me sitting down to go number one, though. That makes sense. Maybe stop doing that. Well, it's not. There's not a need to stop. It's all good. It works for you. It's more comfortable. There's no question. I sit sometimes. How much time are you spending? Let's say just the normal amount of time. It's still more comfortable. It is more comfortable. It's like all the preparation that goes into it. Jay does it too. Why is he trying? No, I do not. I don't remember. It's not true. So you're dropping your pants to your knees. You have to undo your belt. Why not just zip? Because it's comfortable. Oh my goodness.
I don't go in there to hang out. I go in there just to get my business done. In the middle of the night, when you get up to go, you're telling me you don't sit down. No, I want to get in there, get back out in bed and to sleep. What am I going to do in there? I woke up at 2 o'clock this morning and sat. I'm drowsy. At least you never have to have any fights over leaving the seat up. That's true. Never. That way. It's one thing. Wow. I'm drowsy. Yeah, me too. I don't want to deal with, you know. Aim. Yes. Is this something that started in adulthood or always happened? I feel, I feel, I feel judging eyes. Nice Bieber. I'm not going to lie. I looked into your eyes and there was just, you know, the face has like 1500 muscles in it. I know. And I know yours. I know. And so when you give me that just tiny bit of squint.
I know what you're saying to me. With a head tilt. With a little, I mean, just the slightest subtle. I'm a detective. Yes. Just gathering information. There's nothing really you have to say about that. I'll bet your boyfriend has. I bet BFMC has done it. Not that I'm aware of, but I can't speak on him. Most guys don't admit it. No. He's not doing that. That's Matt we're talking about. He's perfect. Weird that just you and I are the only men that do it. It's hard to admit. It's hard to admit that don't do it. It feels good. Again, there's nothing wrong with it. There's no reason for me to change the behavior. I like it. It's comfortable. It feels real good. It's an enjoyable moment for me. Me too. Jogging, man. Just stay in for a minute. Think of that as a workout. We'll start off slow. Stand P. We'll progress from there. It's true. Next thing, Mike, you can walk back to your bed, okay, instead of crawl. Yes. Mike, instead of that wheelchair you used to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night because you're too lazy to walk. Motorized wheelchair. Motorized wheelchair. We know you ain't. You ain't pushing. You ain't pushing yourself.
Instead of sitting down, getting back on that wheelchair to go back to your bed. Taking that Segway, maybe. All right, let's start out slow. Walk to the toilet, sit down. Stand up. Stand up, sit back down, go back to the bed. Now, after a week of that, your stamina will work up. Now what you'll do is you'll wheel over, stand, pee, sit down, wheel back. It said three tons of... Oh, I thought it said Rapunzel. No, it said three tons of... Rapunzel. Rapunzel. Sometimes Jay will clip the... Three tons of... Nice bit... Wiener tat. I hate you all. You're going to need a bigger poach. Seriously? Fat hook?
All right. Do we have time? I don't think we do. Yeah, we do. We do? To do what? Two minutes to do Why Are We Here? Yeah, we can do it in two minutes. Yeah. Let's do it. Quick. We can do it. All right. I'm going to pick the people for Why Are We Here? Two names, two voices, and then the location, and then we have to do those voices and say why we're there. First voice, Mark Zuckerberg. The second voice that will be done is Bear Grylls. Now we have to see where Mark Zuckerberg and Bear Grylls are going to be hanging out together. I'm reaching into the location, randomly pulling a spa. They are at the spa. Let me tell you, after a long time out on a shoot, when a season is done,
It's always wonderful to come back home to Liverpool, go to my favorite spa. Oh, look who's here. Oh, hi. It's the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. I'm just going to use the little boys' room. Do you sit or stand when you pee there, Bear? As you know, I'm a real man. I stand. Me too. I can actually build a functioning toilet with plumbing out of nothing. but a used worm, some gravel, and a piece of bamboo. Well, I can actually build a virtual network that 500 million plus people will use. May I ask you a favor, Mark Zuckerberg? Sure. Please put some clothing on. Why, are you intimidated by me? Not even in the slightest. Yeah, not many people are. I was in the British Royal Army. I can see that. That's right, I'm nude as well. Isn't this what guys do in the spa? I don't know, I've never been here before. What? I didn't think we were going to get a couples massage. Yeah, this is kind of awkward. This is the first time I've been to this particular place called Asian Tan. Should we go head to toe or...
Well, I prefer that we were on separate tables, but the fact that we're on the same table is... Should I move over or just get over? What I'd prefer you do is just at least lay on your stomach. Oh, sorry. The fact that we're both laying on our backs is rather discomforting. I thought we could just both, you know, fly the flag. Fly the flag. You can do the England and I can do... Yes, I'll do the England and you do your... It's called the Union Jack. That's what I meant. Of course I knew that. That's why are we here. Now, it happened in San Diego. It was years ago. It was 19... It's either 1990... Sometime between 1991 and 1994 that Roseanne Barr did this at a Padres game. When we come back, you'll hear the audio of her trying to redeem that. and make up for it some 20 years later or whatever. Sunshine has a temper sometimes, but he's not all bad. Mikey. What? Text him. He's a real beef tassel. 940 at gmail.com. What? More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. As you're driving to work right now, the message that I want to give to you about BMW Encinitas is simply one that you probably didn't know and that you're probably unaware of.
And the reason is, and you'd be right. You'd be right in thinking this because most BMW dealerships, this wouldn't be the case. But it is at BMW Encinitas because of how committed they are. Here's the deal. You probably didn't know that you could be driving a 328i. A 2011 328i, you could be leasing that thing for $249 a month. And you just didn't know that. So in other words, you're leasing a car right now. And as you look down at the emblem on your steering wheel, it isn't that blue and white roundel that says BMW. You've got to understand how these things feel to drive and the difference that it makes for you. That's a driving machine. $249 a month for a 328i, probably less than what you're paying right now on a lease. Only at BMW Encinitas. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does! Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff, like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does!
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Visit mini of sdcounty.com to plan your Mini Cooper test drive. For a limited time, enjoy financing as low as 0.9% on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your San Diego County BMW Center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash CPO for details. Hear the Authentic Surf Report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden Collar. This report is brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks. Now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. Well, it looks like we got some delays on the 15 southbound. Before the 76, there is a car over on the right shoulder. It was a hit and run. Couple hit and runs this morning. Another one on the 5 northbound right before 28th Street. This car is on the right shoulder as well. On the 15 southbound after Mission Road, two-car accident. This one stuck in the center divider. This report brought to you. You'll also buy Coinstar. Coinstar, there's no fee when you cash in your coins. Choose an Albertsons gift card. Keep every delicious scent sweet. Find the closest machine at Coinstar.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning. Brought to you by Frostbrew Coors Light. Coors Light is the drink of choice in San Diego. Check it out.
Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surf-wise today, we're seeing a slight increase as a bit of wind swell out of the west-northwest has picked up the joy in some weak southwesterly pulses. Still pretty dinky, but still a little bit more than what we've been having, and that's a good thing because it really hasn't been too much. Looking at knee-high waist-high waves on average with that occasional plus, maybe a chest-high wave or two at the standout spots, most open to that more dominant southwesterly swell direction. Light south winds this morning really not having any kind of a major consequence or effect on surface textures. Slight little ruffle, but still fairly clean. Partly cloudy skies right now. Looks like it's going to burn up to another nice day. Water temp remaining up in the upper 60s as well. Reef break showing a little signs of life. Lower ties might help them out a bit. Looks like it's more of a beach break kind of a scenario once again today. And that's pretty much what we're looking at. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard restoration or repair needs, you go see my pal Joe Rober right down there on Marina Boulevard, a couple blocks from the Bird Surf Shed. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. And Jay.
I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On Anthem 94.9. We're going to Kid Rock Show for a food documentary. This is my favorite Food Fighters album. This one, Color and the Shape. Yep. My favorite album. And found out in the documentary that Dave, who is a little like me, he envisions it in his head a certain way. Control freak. You said that so many times. I hear it in my head this way. I've said that a million times. A thousand times, yeah. So he hears it in his head a certain way, because he wrote it, and he had a drummer, and the drummer... William Goldsmith. William Goldsmith. From Sunny Day Real Estate. That's the band he was in. They recorded the entire album, and Dave was not happy with the drum tracks. And so they came down to Los Angeles, and this guy stayed up in Seattle.
and he would call and be like, what's going on? And Dave was like, everything's cool, man. Everything's cool. It's good. Just hanging out down here. Hey, Dave, it's William. Do you need me to come down? No, dude, don't come down here. Hang out. Just hang out. So the album and everything is good? Yeah, everything's cool. Everything's good. We're just doing some overdubs right now. All right. So I'll just stay here. Stay in Seattle. And you guys are all in L.A. Don't come to Los Angeles. Okay. Stay where you are. So don't get a ticket. No. What about a bus ticket? Nothing. Don't even, you know what? Don't think the words Los Angeles. Don't say LA. Nothing to do with LA. Okay. Get it out of your head. I'll just stay here. Stay there. And what happened was Dave Grohl said to their guitar player, Pat Smear, can you come in and record your guitar part again for this song? And he would go. sure, fine, I don't have a problem with that. So he would come in and he would record it. And then he said, and then Dave had me come back and he was like, can you do this song? And I was like, sure. And before long, I was doing another one and I was like, are we just like redoing the whole record? Dave Grohl eventually ended up drumming on every single song on this record and they erased every drum track that guy had recorded for this album.
Every drum drop. Wow. Wow, that's right. Yeah, wow. Gotta admit, it's pretty good drums, isn't it? Always. You guys are freaking phenomenal. Wheel of Pain at 8.30. A tough one. The new item, duct tape wax job on your chest. Three days of black fingernail polish. Three hippity hop hits. Dodgeball hits. Three bag tag shots. Three drops of hot sauce. Three shocks from a dog collar. Three shots from the BB gun. Everything's bad. There is no good thing on there. Perfect. And so we will be doing that at 830. Roseanne Barr was at a Padre game years and years ago. And people really hated her. So recently she decided she wanted to show people that she could actually do it the right way.
And did this. Much better. Respectful. Yeah. Carried a tune and everything. Do you know all the words, Woodsy? Yeah. How about you, L.O.B.? I think so. Could you sing it, Woods? L.O.B.? I think so. I wouldn't hit all the notes. High notes. Right. It's got some very high notes on that song. Really? Jay? Start very low. Jay, do you know all the words? Probably. Probably. Do you think that you could sing it for us? Nope. You know the words. I question it. I question that he knows all the words. Yeah. I would be willing to put $100 down. I think I would.
I think I would agree with that. That he does not know the words. I'll go into the room and record it. Yeah, of course, because you can Google the lyrics. You can come with me. When are you going to come with me? I just want to sing. With thousands of people listening? Yeah. Scary. Why not? Look at him. He's fidgeting. He's really fidgeting. Oh, he is fidgeting. Please make him do it. They want to hear it. We know they want to hear it. They want to hear it. They want to hear it. He's legitimately nervous. You know it's not my thing. They want to hear it. He's legitimately nervous. It's not my thing. Please make him do it. Please recite the words, Jay. Oh, say can you see? By the dawn's early light, what so proudly we held, what so gallantly. Oh, God. I can't remember. Oh, no. Gallantly streaming? I don't know. I can't remember, Mom. What do you have? We have to put that all together and just what we have. We have to edit that together, what we have. I would like to hear Lauren sing it. No. No? No. Well, then recite them. I'll do it. Well, you can. A, you're a singer. B, we know you know the words. L-O-B.
Let's see if I know the words. Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed by the twilight's last gleaming. At. At the twilight's last gleaming whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous night. Yes. Night or fight? Fight, Donna. Fight. Through the perilous fight. Through the perilous fight. Or the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming. There's a streaming. And the rocket's red glare, bunch of bombs. No, I'm just kidding. The bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that I probably will still live. You got it. Wow, a little rough in some parts. Lucy Magnum is a six-year-old little girl that was swimming in North Carolina when a shark got her leg. Oh, boy.
And she says, quote, I forgive him. She's expected to be running and playing again in six to eight weeks. I cannot believe that somebody can run and play again after six weeks of getting bit by a shark. She was just on TV. Did she have a stomp? No. They just showed her on TV. She does not? No. It wasn't bitten off? No, it's 90% tear in her muscles and tendons. And ruptured one of the major veins. Oh, God. And the mom was the first one over to her and saw how bad it was. Oh, my gosh. And then called the dad over. Well, sharks, you know, they usually don't know what they're having. Just take a taste. But a taste for them is like ripping apart. I saw a baby shark the other day when we were surfing. They like their food dead. Like to hit it and then let it bleed out and then come back and finish it. But her dad is an emergency room doctor. Oh, nice. Did he take care of it? So he was able to, I guess, you know, do something. Do a tourniquet bit and all that. Tendon tear, a severed artery. What did you do? Well, I knew that what I was seeing was not supposed to be seen. And I put pressure and covered it up with my hands as well as I could.
I was still in the water at that point, and as soon as I saw her, I began yelling for Craig, who was not too far away. Craig. He came running over. We both knew right away that this was pretty severe. Craig, you're actually an emergency room doctor, and it sounds like your wife did exactly the right thing, putting pressure on it. What was your sense when you looked at the wound about how close Lucy was to losing her leg? Well, I knew right away that it was a very significant injury. And, yeah, Jordan did the right thing. Went back to the Boy Scouts and just held direct pressure and did a great job. She's embarrassed. She's doing the thing where she's putting her mom's hand over her face. Her mom is embarrassed, as I would be, when you just want your kid to just sit there even though they've been bitten by a shark. I know you've been bit by a shark, but just freaking, we're on TV. Just like while we're on TV, can you not do your bit? Don't do bits. We're on the Today Show. Good God. Gosh, darn it. Make it seem like I'm a parent. We knew right away that this was something that was going to require some extensive surgery and some reconstruction. Now she's burrowing her head into her dad's.
Just sit up straight. No. You know what you're saying? You're going like your parent. You're going, they're judging me. They're judging me. They're judging me. They're judging me as a parent. They're judging me as a parent. She's running wild. She's running wild. She can do whatever she wants. I just knew when I looked at it that it was pretty significant. And so she was medevaced out. What kind of surgeries has she had to undergo? And I understand that the prognosis is good. Yeah, the prognosis is great. It's going to take some time with some physical therapy, but she's going to be back and running and playing like she should, hopefully sooner than later. But yeah, we're very pleased with the prognosis at this point. Jordan, I understand that you explained to Lucy that the shark mistook her for an animal. That's true. She didn't care. I told her, but she was screaming. bloody murder, and didn't seem to care what the shark thought. She said, Mom, I don't care for an explanation right now. If you don't mind, perhaps you could just get me out of this place. And maybe stitch my freaking leg up. Please. ASAP. If you don't mind. That would be great. You yell barracuda. You're racist. Huh? What? You yell shark. We've got a panic on our hands on the 4th of July.
The Sarah Palin documentary did not do well at all. It's weird. It's a full-length documentary called The Undefeated. And it showed to a nearly empty audience. I mean, nearly empty. And we have Sarah Palin here now. I just want to ask you, Sarah, because obviously you approved of doing this. Well, of course. Why would you do it if it, you know, clearly it appears that it didn't, you know, it didn't open well. Oh, really, Mike? How many people have gone to see your documentary? I don't have a documentary. Exactly. I guess your point is, is that you have one. I don't have one. So why am I criticizing? Someone has a need to make a documentary about me. Okay. That's true. Continue on with the questions, please. Does it bother you that it looks like less and less people are?
Liking you, for lack of a better term? Well, that's interesting, Mike. We should ask the people from your former show what they think about you. Speaking of less and less people liking you. Listen, Sarah. That's interesting. You can't just sit over there like a big old pot and call this kettle black. Doesn't sound like you're very happy. Sounds like you're crabby. Sounds like you're... I've got these allegations coming from a man who... I'm not even sure who you are or why I'm here, really. You're here because we're the only radio show willing to speak with you. It's a Christian rock station? No, it is not a Christian rock station. Are you sure? No, I'm positive. I'm positive of that. I've heard some of your podcasts. You know, you're only... Listen. It doesn't sound like you're getting very positive feedback from your...
speaking engagements either, by the way. Well, that's interesting. I saw you had a speaking engagement. Where is it? Jamul? Jamul? California? It's actually pronounced Hamul. Oh, yeah. It's actually pronounced Hamul. Oh, yeah. Hot spot. How'd that go? It actually went well, all right? Yeah, it did. You don't have to get it. Maybe I get what you're doing. More people have heard of my town in Alaska than Jamul, California. All right, fine, fine. It's Hamul. It's Hamul. Thank you, Sarah Palin, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Unnecessary. She got you, pal. Wheel of pain coming up. Great. All right. Finish this sentence. I don't trust anyone that blank. I don't trust anybody has a P.O. box. What are you up to? I agree. What are you up to? What are you doing? You got a house. You got an apartment.
You've got to play. What do you need that for? What are you doing in there? You're not self-employed either. Yeah. Don't pull that bit on me. Don't pull that bit. You run into mail order something? Every time I go into freaking mailboxes and beyond or whatever it's called. Mailboxes, et cetera. Right. It's Bed Bath and et cetera, isn't it? No, Bed Bath and beyond. Whenever I go into mailboxes, et cetera, and I see the dude with a little key opening up his little box, and reaching in there and I'm like, hmm, what's that? Some prostitution ring or something? Some female prisoner? Yes. He's there for the et cetera. Yeah, he is. He is totally there for the et cetera. Chances that every single time you see that guy at the mailbox, he has a mustache. He's wearing dark glasses and a baseball cap. Just a silver fox, real good.
I don't trust anybody that what? Pops their collar. Oh, good one. Gosh, darn. Yeah, they pop their collar. You know something's up. What do you do? Like, what are you up to? What's that for? Because there was a first time you popped it. Yeah. And you had the brazenness to pop it the first time. You're saying something about yourself, and I believe that something is, I'm a rapist. Yeah. I think you're right. I think you're 100% right. It's either that or... I have Rufinol in my possession. Right now. Right now. I carry it in my wallet. It's in my collar. That's why it's up so high. I carry Rufinol in my wallet. M1, Rocky Boy from San Diego. People who wear Ed Hardy. Oh, yeah. I don't trust anybody that wears Ed Hardy. Can't do it. No. You're shady. Real shady. If it's a mom, like a cougar mom that's wearing it, she cheats on her husband. Guaranteed. It's a guarantee. Cougar mom that wears that already. Big sparkly tiger across her butt. Yeah. Guaranteed. She's making love of the Arrowhead, man. 100%. M1. Shelly from Carlsbad. Hey, guys. I love you, but I don't trust anybody who tells me to trust them. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.
Trust me, I know exactly what I'm doing. Wood says that a lot. I say that a lot. Yeah, I don't trust him. Fair enough. Deal? I say it a lot. Yeah, I do. For sure. You know what I don't trust? I don't trust anybody that's always taking pictures. They have a camera with them all the time, and they're just taking pictures. I like photography. I like cameras, but I don't bring a camera everywhere. They're hiding behind it. Yeah, they are. Either that or, you know. What are they going to do with that? What are you taking pictures of that for? It's a girl. You don't know her. I don't trust anybody that's giving me something for free. Don't. You. You must not trust anyone today. Don't. You. To be clear, I love them. I don't trust them. I don't trust them. But I love them. I don't like to look at them, but I like to touch them. That's right. 570-1949. M1 Casper from Otay Mesa. You don't trust who? I don't ever trust a girl that doesn't have tan lines. Dirty little baby. What does it tell you? Well, I mean, there's a couple of things that really could, I guess, mean. She's a stripper. She's this and the tanning's not too much. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You mean you don't trust a girl that has tan lines? No, doesn't have them. It means she tans nude. Oh, I got you. You don't trust a girl with a tan that doesn't have tan lines?
Right, right. Got it. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a great one. A girl with a tan that doesn't have tan lines. Oh, dirty birdie. Hey, you're filthy. She's naked at the pool. Yeah, she's an adult film star. Or an adult film star. Yes. I got one. What? I don't trust any man that would wear a bolo tie. Why wouldn't you ever? That guy is a card racketeer. He might be a crooked sheriff. Yeah, he might be a crooked sheriff. I do not trust a man in a bolo tie. Is it a rapist? Maybe a pedophile. I don't trust the guy that stays late at work by himself all the time. All the time. By himself. I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it. I got this. You guys can go ahead and go home. He's taking care of it already. And that asks you, what are you doing? Are you going home? Yeah, I guess. You're not going to come back for anything, are you? Do you think you'll be here for longer? How late do you think you're going to stay tonight? I'm going to go. I'm just packing my stuff up. I got a few more things I got to do here. It's going to be a while. What are you doing? I have work. Catching up on stuff. Your computer? Most of the work I do on the computer. You're just doing stuff there at the computer, huh? Yeah, I don't want to take this work clunky laptop. I don't want to take it home with me. Hey, just between you and me. Are you going to find anything weird if I go on your history on your browser? No. No?
It refreshes, clears the cash out history. You're stuttering. You're stuttering. You're stuttering. I don't trust anyone that what? Oh, wow. Lighten up. M1 Mick from IB. You don't trust anybody that what? Amanda sits down to pee. Yeah, man. Yeah. Just a couple. FM 94.9. There's new and then there's new. As in original. As in the reset button has been pressed. As in the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class with technology like Attention Assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically,
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like what your dog actually does all day when you're not at home, or what whales do when they get thirsty, or what the guy in front of you was thinking when he decided he absolutely needed to be in your lane. But thanks to My Money Map, your finances are something you'll be able to wrap your head around. When you're ready to unravel the mysteries of your finances, at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With our free online tool, My Money Map, you can automatically track deposits and spending, set savings goals, and track your progress over time. My Money Map lets you see how much you're spending on things like groceries versus eating out and how you're coming along with your budgeting plan. By helping you get a better handle on your finances, My Money Map prepares you for whatever may be around the corner. So learn to embrace life's other mysteries and call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today to learn more about how My Money Map can help you understand your financial picture. Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. Life's better with baseball. Okay, detailed inning-by-inning replays. Check. Reports from the dugout and clubhouse. Check. Complete MLB reports from around the league. Check, check, check. Mr. Tinky dashboard troll. You know, it's a good luck thing. Really? The Sequoia and Casino postgame show following most Padre games. Mr. Tinky. Hey, you never know, Johnny. You never know. The Padres host their series with the D-backs. 630 Tuesday. From the remotest corners of East County to the splendor of the Silver Strand.
From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. Do you find yourself staring whenever a Jeep vehicle drives by? Do you wonder where it's been? Where it's going next? Do you say to yourself, someday, when the time is right, that's going to be me? Say hello to someday. Now you can get great deals on the new Jeep vehicle of your choice, including the newly designed Compass, the newly refined Patriot, the versatile Liberty, the iconic Wrangler, and the most luxurious and capable Grand Cherokee ever. It's time for other people to wonder where you're going next in your new Jeep vehicle. Now, at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance Event. For the first time ever, get 0% APR for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 finance for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Allied. Not all buyers will qualify. Offer ends 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC.
For California avocado grower Andy Lyle, farming responsibly is his passion. We installed solar panels to generate power for our ranch and the community. While the farm thrives on eco-friendly technology, the avocados need hands-on care. We're in the groves every day, providing the support our trees need to flourish. And Andy's delicious California avocados prove that what's good for the environment is great for your taste buds. Insist on hand-grown California avocados. Available now at Vons. Can we talk Ulta Beauty? Starting Sunday, stock up on liters of select brand name shampoo and conditioner from Redken, Matrix, Joico, and more. Values as high as $48, now priced as low as $14.99. With over 20,000 beauty products, including amazing cosmetic kits, Ulta is about to become your favorite store and salon. Visit Ulta.com for a coupon to save an extra $3.50 off a $10 purchase in-store and online. Offer ends July 30th. Exclusions apply. See store for details. It's back. Terranova Plaza's annual Battle of the Bands takes place this Thursday. Check out great local bands going for cash prizes. A free event starting at 7 p.m. Bring friends and family. Terranova Plaza, corner of 805 South and East 8th Street exit. It's time to rock.
This report brought to you by Exxon & Mobile. Their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car runs cleaner. It's one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. Well, we've got some backup this morning as you travel on the 5 northbound after Poinsettia Lane. There's a pickup truck that's stuck in the center divider. They've got a flat tire, and it looks like a piece of a fender is in the number one and two lanes. 15 northbound before Rancho Penasquitos Boulevard. We had an earlier accident there, but they've cleared that. Maybe a little residual slowing. And the 15 southbound, that's still bunched up between the 78 and Center City Parkway. This report brought to you by Chevron. Grab two of any variety of standard-sized candy for $2 until August 31st. One at a regular price at Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. 30 still haven't said waffles, so hang on.
Yesterday they found what could be a druggie boat. Border Patrol agents, they found a suspicious boat at OB, right by Dog Beach, just west of Lifeguard Tower 4. It was an 18-foot boat, about 6 o'clock in the morning. They find it there, and they found two life vests in it, two empty gasoline cans, and four sets of footprints near the boat. And they brought a drug-sniffing dog out there to search the boat. And the newspaper says that they found one marijuana joint. One. It says one marijuana joint. Is it eight feet long? And then a backcountry nudie resort is planning a stage music festival this weekend. And organizers are calling it nude stock. Yep, that's what we're calling it. It's one of the largest and newest clothing optional resorts in North America. Wow.
311 RV sites, motel rooms, two heated pools, and of course, shuffleboard. Of course, do you want to send me out there to cover it? Yes. Please. Please. Yes. I'd be happy to. Wow. It's going to be all dudes with white hair on their chest. Or very large women. It's a guarantee. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to rip through really quickly. These are the unrestricted free agents that the Chargers are going to have to deal with to see if they want to bring them back. You ready? Antoine Barnes, Kevin Burnett, Tyrone Carter, Jacques Césaire, Jeremy Clary, Stephen Cooper, James Durth, Malcolm Floyd, Dante Hughes, Travis Johnson, Randy McMichael, Brandon Moore, Legade Nanu, Ryan Neal, Paul Oliver, Brandon Seiler, Darren Sproles, Billy Volick, Kelly Washington, Pat Watkins, and Eric Weddle. That's a lot. That's a lot of names. That's a lot. That's a lot of names off the roster, man, if they don't get some of those dudes back. Also, the Padres will open a series against the Arizona Diamondbacks tonight at 7.05. It is Joe Saunders against Dustin Mosley. Biggest names in plastic surgery in Beverly Hills do this thing every year where they put out.
Who are people asking for it? Because, you know, when you do plastic surgery, what dudes will do is they will walk in there and they will say, I want so-and-so's nose. I want so-and-so's face. I want so-and-so's lips. I want that. You know, that's how they do it. These guys just put out their latest. This year, the most desired body overall for dudes is Mark Wahlberg. Sounds all right to me. Maybe work out to get that body. Just going to have something cut you up real good. Guess you just have to stop. Well, eating like you, Mike. Aren't you? Talk to eat low fat and exercise. I guess you would, wouldn't you, Mike? Taking the easy way out and getting cut. Yeah. You just go in, pay for some guy to suck a bunch of fat right out of you, wouldn't you? Why don't you just get a washboard implanted? An actual washboard. Yeah, go ahead, Mike. I got one. Found it on the side of the road. You can have it. I'll implant it. Give me the money.
Chicks want to look like Giselle. Yeah. Just don't talk like her. Men that go in and want their nose done. Woods. Had my nose done. Woods had his nose done because he got mugged. That's what he says. I have pictures if you want to see my face. He had to have plastic reconstructive surgery because his face had been bashed in. I got pictures of me in various casts with meat looking. Substance of my face. Yes. My skin and my bone almost. You're a long way to get a nose job, won't you? Wow. Wow. Guys want Jude Law's nose. Really? That's what they say. Okay. Strange reference. Sounds kind of pointy. It seems pointy. A little bit of a pointy nose. Women want Natalie Portman's nose. Hair. Don't know who this is. Guys want a guy named John Hamm's hair from Mad Men. Mad Men. Stud. What's it look like? Like a... 50s businessman, kind of slicked back, kind of pompadour-ish. Yeah. It's sharp. Very sharp. Who do you think women said? Jennifer Aniston. It's a good one. That is not it, but that's a good guess. Angelina Jolie. No. Taylor Swift. Yeah. Guys would like to have eyes that look like... Bradley Cooper. Nope. Huge Jackman. Guys are clowns. Chicks want Anne Hathaway's.
Oh, L.O.B. looked like she wanted to vomit. She hates Anne Hathaway. She hates Anne Hathaway. Just at the mention of her name, L.O.B. goes into the coffin. She would punch Anne Hathaway in the face if she saw her. If we ever had an interview with Anne Hathaway, she would say, I don't like you, and I'm just going to let you know it right from the start. No, I would just do the typical girl thing and look her up and down and make her uncomfortable the whole time. Is that what girls do to make other girls uncomfortable? They look them up and down? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I got to write this down. Next time we do, it's a bit. I think it's a bit when girls go, she was giving me dirty looks. Nobody gives dirty looks because everyone would see it. Nobody gives dirty looks. Yes, they do. No, they don't. Because if they did, Jamie says that a lot. Dude, listen. If girls gave dirty looks. Don't you think I'd see it, too, like we'd see it? Right. Like, how come only you see the dirty looks? Because you give it when you know they're going to look at you. It's purposeful. Your wife doesn't give you dirty looks, Mike? No. Oh, my gosh. I get dirty looks when I'm in trouble. I give Jay dirty looks. It's from other girls. Other girls. That's a bit. Haven't you ever heard girls go, yeah, it's real. She's giving me dirty looks. It's a real deal. You go, really?
Because I was there too. I mean, I didn't see anybody. You're not paying attention. You're on your phone. Really? Yeah, really. I just gave Woods like seven dirty looks that you didn't see. Next time some girls come in the studio, I'm going to watch it. L.O.B. did it. Show me. Is that a dirty look? Oh, yeah. Purse lips, eyes wide. So girls do that? Girls are bees. Yeah, they are. Oh, my God. Why do they do that? Because we're mean. Because they're freaking mean. Guys don't do that to other guys. No. We don't do that. We're catty. I mean, unless you are like pop collar, white sunglasses, I'll be like, I'll give you one of those. But that's outward. Yeah. It's not all covert. Right. I only give them to the ones that deserve it. You know the ones that deserve it? Whores. Whores. And pretty girls. Yeah. Well. That's the same thing. Waitresses that whisper to my boyfriend, you're cute, when I'm right there. Really? So the waitress is drunk and comes over and goes, yeah, yeah. This is not a hypothetical. Listen to this. It's M1 Ms. Dodgeball from San Diego. You there? Yes, I am. She was actually calling to tell us what she doesn't trust. You don't trust somebody that what?
I don't trust any girl that compliments my relationship over and over. So she says, oh, you guys look so cute together. Oh, he's so happy. Oh, he's so happy to be with you. You guys are so lucky. It's all of it. She's trying to sleep with him. LOB instantly gave you a look that said, yes, that's 100% true and started to shake her head yes. And Woods instantly put his index finger to the side of his head and twirled it. Happened to me. Absolutely. So you're telling me that girls, when they... I can tell... Okay, okay. Thank you for the call. I got to ask LLB. My wife picks something... Very rarely does my wife say, that one makes me nervous. Okay? In fact, she's only said it like twice in however many years. Okay? But one time she said it. Let me tell you what made her say it. The most innocuous thing in the world. We're out to dinner. Whole bunch of people. We're out to dinner. Okay. Person in question. There's another married person. We all get our food. And she asked me, this person, if she can try what I'm having. And I go, sure. She goes, and by the way, the person's a foodie. And so she takes her fork and she.
Takes it off my plate. Now, I don't notice that. That's not unusual to me. It's not strange. It's unless you're a germaphobe. Now, if you're a germaphobe, that might get you. And you go, ooh. But to me, it was like, whatever. She wants to try it. My wife thought that that was a flirtatious move. Every guy in here says no. And L.O.B. says with her. And L.O.B. has a look in her eyes right now that says, Mike, not only is it true, it doesn't even need to be debated. It's 100% true. Case closed. Overdone. Rebecca's right. Girls ever crazy? Yep. There's an exception to the rule. If it were like a really good friend or like a best friend of Rebecca's. It wasn't. If it's just this like blase. This is my friend. This blase whore. Yeah. Yes. There's a little fortress around you. That she shouldn't be invading. Well, she didn't give him a lap dance. She just tried a piece of his duck larange. And if a guy that was a mutual friend said, what is that? And she goes, it's da-da-da-da-da. And he goes, can I try it? And she goes, yeah. And he takes a bite of it and goes, not bad. How should he get the food? Or how should the person get the food? Wait until someone gives you a little divvy out.
onto a plate or something like that. Because that means I don't want intercourse. No, but guys are a little more barbaric with their eating habits, so I think if a guy did it, it might be less of a flirtatious move, but a girl knows better. She shouldn't be sticking her fork in other people's plates. What about when she had done it? It means I want to make sex with you. I'm going to have sex to you. I'm going to have sex to you. Can I get another plate? Because I want to give a little bit of food to somebody. Here, I have mine. Let me cut it up and then... You should have fed it to her. Yeah, just put it right in her mouth. Don't stick your fork where I'm eating. Oh, goodness gracious. Because if you do put your fork where my boyfriend's eating, it means you want to sex. It means you feel very comfortable with this man that you shouldn't feel comfortable with. Leave the food sharing to me, sister. Which is... Which is be crazy. Hey, you asked for it. You got it. M1ZZ from La Mesa. Yes, I totally agree with your wife. Oh, this gives me like the heebie-jeebies just even thinking about it right now. It's asking, can I get, can I try that? No, it's the way that they ask, too. It's like, oh, so can I try something? Crazy. I'm crazy.
No, get. Seriously, get. So you're saying that what she's really saying is, can I take my fork and make love to you? Wiener time. I don't necessarily want to say that she's going to fork him. Yeah, exactly. But, I mean, it's creepy and it's like, it's controlling. Like, hey, guess what? I'm taking this off your plate even though this is your man. It's a power move. Seriously, yeah. It's a power move. My husband, oh, this is my Sean. You have your own husband. Get out of here. Well, that's different. That's different. If anybody said this is my Rebecca, I'd say this is my foot. If somebody says this is my something, you don't say that. No, that's ridiculous. You don't say that. You don't accidentally grab somebody else's wife's butt and try to pretend that it's your wife and that you messed up. You don't do that. That happens. Does it? Does it? Absolutely. First of all, it didn't happen. It almost happened. It almost happened. It happened. Wait, you don't just throw out it happens as if it happens as often as sneezing. No, but it has happened. It can. It can happen. If it ever happened, I would really be upset with my friend. I would say...
I'm wondering if that was a mistake that you're trying to pass off as a mistake. Really? Come on. Okay, I'm going to grab Kim's butt and be like, oh my gosh, I totally thought it was. And I would go, okay, well, there's one. There's one. Now I get one. Now I get one. No, no. Double Z, I respect you. I respect LOB. I respect my wife, but I think that that is a little. We know women. Much. No, you have to have a mind of a woman to understand that. And it's just, it is a power trip. Hey, can I ask, I just have an honest question. Okay. Okay, go for it. Is it possible that she wanted to try my dish? Well, I'm sure she wanted to try it. But the little, the power move. But yeah, it's also a power move. It's like, if you wanted to try it, why didn't you just order it yourself? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Well, I think, I mean, you can definitely share with people on that. And saying to someone, hey, do you think I could get a little pizza? I would not mind. But just taking the initiative of sticking your fork, crossing over into his area, and taking it off of his plate, that's something that couples or, like, mother and child do. You don't do that. On the note right there. Unless it's, like, a shared appetizer or a plate of French fries or something like finger food.
Finger food. Finger food. I said to her later, I said, she goes, hey, because we're very frank with each other. She goes, hey, that one makes me nervous. I said, how come? She goes, because at dinner, she asked if she could try something on your plate, and you said yes, and she reached over with her fork and twirled it and ate it. And I went, okay, so what's the part, though, that... She goes, that's it. And I went... Is she attractive? The girl? Yeah. Well, they don't make us nervous. Exactly. What if she was three bills? Yeah, wouldn't have cared. Well, obviously, you guys wouldn't either. I wouldn't care if it was anybody. Yeah, but that's different, Woods, because your whole thing is that any guy can do anything with your wife. It doesn't make you jealous. That's not what my deal is. You've said a million times, I don't care enough about Jamie to get jealous for her.
You said that a million times. You're like, hey, look, most guys would get jealous because they want to be protective of their life. My wife can have sex with whoever. Yeah, I care that little. I care that little about. For the record, that is not true. I just am not a jealous person. M1 Holly says, oh, it's insecurity. M1 Holly from San Diego. Yep, I think it's just a little insecurity. If you're secure with your man, you shouldn't worry about a girl just... picking up food. It's kind of weird, but it's just, you just brush it off. I think that's naive. I think that's naive. Yeah, because if I were a different kind of guy, I might want to, you know, make sex with her. Yeah. I don't know. So that's not insecure. Unless he's asking for his number. How old are you, Holly? I don't care too much. I'm 27. That's a good age to be. Yep. Sweet kid. It's the age that Amy Winehouse just died at, so. Oh, God. Take care. Take care of yourself. Don't do ketamine. Good luck. Keep your fork to yourself. Godspeed. Go out there and get some. I'll just say fork. It's not the greatest offense out there. It is a flirtatious move. Or she's just hungry. One of the two. She's a beast. What would a guy do? You wouldn't know, Woods, because you're not at all bothered by any man.
Makes any move on your wife or comes on to your wife. Yeah, you're flattered. Flattered. Somebody wants to hit on my wife. Yeah, there's a guy right now at her work that looks real sharp. And he's like, wow, you smell absolutely wonderful. I love that accent. That is the cutest accent I've ever. What is your name? Sharp guy. He's like, I'll tell you what. Whoever has got you must be a lucky, lucky guy. And he is. And so she. If somebody said that to my woman, it wouldn't bother me. I'd want them to turn around so I could kick them in the nuts from behind. If it went further, if he sent a creepy email or something, that's when the kid shows up at the office. Yeah, if there's a creepy email sent, he's a dead man. If you overheard that. If I overheard it, I'd be like, easy, pal. What'd you get, buddy? I thought you'd be flattered. No, it's flattering if somebody thinks your wife's attractive. If somebody says, oh, your wife's very pretty. Thank you. It doesn't creep me out like you. You know us. You know how men are. You know how men are. If Jay or I say, Rebecca looks really cute, Mike, he's like, what? You having sex with her? Exactly. Now you want to have sex with my wife? First of all. It's a true statement. First of all, you and Jay. Jay was turned on at the sight of his own daughter for crying out loud. You can't talk.
Oh, is that the thing? Yeah, that's his thing. We can't talk about it. Oh, you forgot too. $22. That's right. $22 right now. You owe him $22. Fuck up. Fine, I forgot. Hey, now I just paid for Jasper's whole wardrobe. So did he until you mentioned it. What? I'm a rule follower, pal. Funny. Double news. Bring it. Here's a random question I want you to call with the answer for. Something you did at your last job that no one knows about until you're admitting it now. Two jumps in a week, but you think that's pretty clever, don't you boy? Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight, go see A Perfect Circle. They're playing the Open Air Theater at San Diego State tonight. And then Friday, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club play at the Del Mar Racetrack, the first in the FM 94.9 4 o'clock Friday shows. Slightly Stupids at Cricket Wireless July 30th. The Bell Brigade play the Belly Up August 2nd. It is the next FM 94.9 about the music show, so that one's only six bucks. And you can see Transfer at the Belly Up August 4th. Weezer hit the racetrack August 6th, and still to come this summer, Sia at House of Blues, 311 and Sublime with Rome, Company of Thieves, the Butthole Surfers, two nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues, September 7th and 8th, and a second night has just been added with Bon Iver. They will now play the Spreckles Theater also Saturday, September 17th. Tickets for Bon Iver's second night go on sale this Friday the 29th at noon. So there you have it. Get out there. and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. I'm test driving a BMW 3 Series right now and enjoying the speed and the power. It has more of both than its top rivals from Audi and Mercedes. So even meeting a friend for lunch makes for a great day. Ah, not so great day for that guy. Pulled over with smoke coming out of his hood.
Luckily, 3 Series drivers never worry about repair bills. With BMW's no-cost maintenance, you pay for nothing from brake pads to wiper blades. That can save you thousands. What's up, Scott? En route. Well, I'm not. I think my car just imploded. That was you? I just passed you. Yeah, that was me. I'm the tall, angry guy next to my car. I'll be right there. I'll buy you lunch. For some peace of mind, test drive a 3 Series at a BMW center today. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease the BMW 328i sedan for $359 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does! Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items?
Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Pocket folders, just $0.25. Two-pack of 4A dry erase markers, just $0.25. Pencil sharpeners, $0.01. That's right, $0.01. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 730. Sharpeners and markers, limit five folders on the 10. Extra tea, chips, and a Diet Coke. I call it the Bob-O-licious. Put long veggie delight on wheat, a.k.a. the Green Genie. Everyone's talking about Subway Restaurant's new My $5 menu. Many $5 choices like subs, soups, chips, cookies, and drinks that you can customize to make your own. Subway Restaurant's new My $5 menu at your local Subway restaurants. Subway, eat fresh. Available at participating Subway restaurants for a limited time only, plus tax if applicable. Additional charge for extras may not be combined with coupon offers or discount cards. See stores for details. Subway is celebrating summer with a smoky, savory, sweet flavor of barbecue pulled pork. Slow-cooked pork with an irresistibly bold barbecue sauce. And now, when you buy a Subway barbecue pulled pork sub with your choice of drink, you can celebrate with a free bag of Frito-Lay chips. That's right. Get a free bag of chips when you order a drink with our juicy hickory smoked barbecue pulled pork sub. Hurry in and offer this smoke and won't last long. Subway, eat fresh. Less applicable tax. Limited time observation may vary.
July 30th, reggae sensation Ziggy Marley makes his return to Del Mar. It's the Ziggy Marley Salutes Legends of Reggae Concert and Beer Fest. Enjoy the coolest suds and rock to the rhythm of Ziggy Marley in an all-star roots reggae lineup. Free with racetrack admission or $20 after the last race. Saturday, July 30th. Presented by Heineken. An 18 and up concert. Del Mar. Cool as ever. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS top safety pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 mpg highway and available seating for up to 7, and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry-exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity? Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 25 mpg highway? Well, with the deals going on now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event, any choice is a smart one.
Competitive vehicles can get the Charger Rally for $299 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due at signing. Tax title and license extra. EPA estimated fuel economy four-cylinder front-wheel drive based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped for towing. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residence restrictions apply. Call 1-888-4-Dodge for lease details. Offer ends 8-1-11. Chrysler Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. Dave & Buster's, the only place to eat, drink, and play. Visit a location near you to play games half price every Wednesday from open to close. Escape into play. It's brought to you by 5-Hour Energy, not a morning person. Then try 5-Hour Energy. You won't believe the difference it makes. Amazing, unlike coffee. 5-Hour Energy is ready right now. 5-Hour Energy, the cure for mornings. Heading on the freeways, looks like the 15 northbound before Miramar Way. We've got tire tread in the number three lane. Also, Broadway westbound ramp to the 8, an accident there. Two-car crash, it's over on the right shoulder. And in Oceanside, the 5 northbound, the ramp to Barcelona Road, we've got an SUV blocking that off-ramp.
This report also brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. They think the internet was intended to make total health smarter, more efficient, more convenient. Then again, it's not bad for watching a video of a cat playing the piano either. They're Kaiser Permanente. They want you to live well, laugh well, and thrive. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. I am chubby. Lauren. I know all the rules. I just break them. Woods. Don't go to the doctor. It's in my family. We don't go to the doctor. And Jay. I just got reminded of the worst haircut ever that I had. I forgot about. I had the rat tail. On FM 94.9. Giada De Laurentiis is ugly. Nobody knows who that is. No one knows who that is. Nobody knows who Oscar De Laurentiis is. No one knows who Giada is. She is incredibly hot. A witch nose. Don't like a witch nose. Wow. She's perfect. And she can cook. Now that is a plus. Oh, she can cook. Do some fried chicken and waffle. Oh, my goodness. Do you like pancakes or waffles better? Or either. Or neither. Waffles. I do, too. Cheesecake. That's what Woods likes. I love waffles. Better do some Wheel of Pain? Nope. Nope. Oh, well, before we do Wheel of Pain, we're going to answer these calls with a random question. Something you did at your last job no one knows about until you're admitting it right now. M1 brown coat from Oceanside.
Hey, Mikey. Hello. So I used to work at a grocery store, and we had a bin in the freezer where we put food that was returned or found open. And when no one was around, I would eat food out of it. Easy, Jay. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. They told me there was a camera on it, but I never got in trouble for it. Oh, my. Oh, my. Thank you for the call. No problem. M1, Kathy from San Diego. Hey, guys. Hello. Hey, so at my old job, I was an assistant. And so every day I'd have to go get my boss lunch. And one day I accidentally dropped it on the floor. I looked around. There was nobody around. So I picked it up, brushed it off, and served it to him. Oh, wow. Good for you. I like it. Got to make you go get his lunch. Oh, really, Woods? What? What do you do to Chris every day?
He gets our breakfast. Dude, I'm feeling something. That's not lunch. I'm looking like great. Is that lunch? I'm feeling very diva-ish. I'm going to need you to go to Denny's. Is that lunch? And then if you go to CVS and you can get me a can of dip and I need some secret for my manly armpits. He doesn't say secret. It's suave. He says, I need some deodorant. Make sure it's not men's. And make sure that it's pH balanced. Yes. Strong enough for a man. But pH balance for a woman. Right. So what's the difference? It's not lunch. Thank you. And Chris probably has dropped my Denny's and served it to me, so it's fine. It's breakfast and errands. Right. M1ZZ from La Mesa. What was the word of the day? Waffle. What? What was the word of the day? Waffle. Waffle. I could not hear it. I couldn't hear it. Could you? Yeah, I could not hear it. Who's my hearing now? I am. You're a winner. You're going to see Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow hang on, okay? Well, it's time. Thank you. Ball with the ball. Does everybody know what going to war is? Yes. Going to refer to this as going to war. We're just going to keep it at that. Going to war. I'm going to Michael from San Diego. Hey, Mikey. How's it going? Good. Now, we're going to say that what you did was called going to war. Going to war. Okay. My last job, I was stressed out and I went to war in the Port-A-John.
He was stressed. Are you an accountant? He was stressed. That's a good relief. Soldier. He went to war in the port-a-john. That's outstanding. My goodness. Sometimes. Who hasn't, pal? Why is that port-a-john shaking? Must be a rascal in there. Yep. Critter. There's a critter in there. Must be a critter. Someone check it out. Gotta take matters. Thank you, Jay. Gotta get it done. What did he... Is he still on the line? He's still there? Yeah. Were you in construction? No, no. I was stationed over in Cuba. Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, then that makes sense. It was about 105 degrees outside, so... Oh, my gosh. What was it in the port-a-john? 130? At least 130. Did it smell? I was sweating bullets. No, Woods. Maybe it was a clean port-a-john. You don't know. No, yeah, of course. Did it smell? No.
Yeah, it did. It did. Let M1 going to war answer. No, no, no. Woods. He went to war. Let's think about this. It was Cuba in the middle of the summertime. What if it was a fresh one? Oh, yeah. Cuba, summertime, 130 degrees. I'm sure it smelled like walking into Pier 1 Imports. I wouldn't know. It was like walking into a spa. I wouldn't know. Wouldn't you know? Say salon, and then I'll agree with you. It was like walking into a salon. Yeah. That's what the inside of the Port-a-John was like. It's like walking into Bath and Body Works. Of course. Wouldn't you? You let him answer. Thank you, Michael. Like, you want to hear him go, yeah, it was really gross. You can't do that in there if it stinks. Couldn't you? No. He's a soldier. I guess you're a soldier. You can. It's filthy. Pretty funny.
That's the part that makes it filthy to watch. That's the only part that makes it filthy. No, the only part that made it filthy was that it didn't smell good in there. Right. Boy, oh boy. Well, hey, sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do. No, sometimes not. And you're lonely? He's in Cuba. He's stationed over there. Maybe get back to the barrack. Yeah, oh, great. All those dudes there? Hey, guys. Hey, guys, everybody hang out here for a minute. What? I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. Why am I there? Dude. I didn't say it. Wow. Time for Wheel of Pain. My goodness. Sorry. Joe Flippy. What was that? Gosh. Joe Flippy. You heard it. Joe Flippy. Joe Flippy. Says so fluffy. Oh, yeah, very clearly. It says it clearly. You guys are deep. Oh, boy, with this bit. Wheel of Pain. The way that we do Wheel of Pain is that I'm going to give band names, and Woods and Jay have to tell me if they are real band names or made up by me. Are you ready? Yep. Who starts? I do. Jay. Allegedly. Jay, the first one is Haley's Vomit. It's real.
I made it up. I thought so. Woods. What's your gut? A lot of it. We Should Whisper. It's real. That is correct. Son of a... Jay. Yes. Holiday Parade. It's fake. It's a real band. Well, yeah. I got it all built up. Woods. Yes. Woods, you got this, dog. Rain Falls Down. Fake. Hello? It is fake. I think Mikey's making this up. I did make that up. Hence why it was fake. Jay. Yeah. The Ulcers. It's real. I made it up. Oh, my God. It's three. Woods. Yes. Time tells all. It's fake. Damn it. It's a real band. I was going to say real. Go with your gut, you fat pig. Oh, wow. A little self-hatred going on there. And motivation at the same time.
I've got to get these next ones right. If Jay misses this one, I win. That's right. Jay, the hourly fee. That's rough. It's real. I made up the hourly fee. Wow. You killed it. Woodsy killed it. Woodsy? Off the hook. You are off the... Spin that SOB. Yeah. Time to spin the wheel of pain. Also, let's not forget that Jay said golly. Isolate. That's easy, Jim Neighbors. All right. Here we go. Get away from me. Here we go. I just want to see what's going on over here. Nothing bad. Ah, take that anyway. Ah, dang it. Three shots from the BB gun. It's an easy one. Dude, one more. It would have been three dog collar. Three shots. BB gun is old news, man.
Oh, Jay got shot in the calf. Oh. Oh, dude. That first one got Jay on the skin, right in the middle of the calf. Jay's coming out. Keep the door closed. You better keep the door closed. He's loading up an air gun. No. Keep the door closed. Do not. Woods, close the door and hold it. Hold it. Jay, hold it. Hold the door. Don't even. Hold the door. Hold the door. I got to stay in here all day? Well, you got to. You're coming out at some point. He shot me in bare leg. You're going down, clown. Hey, you shot me behind the knee last night. On the material. You're a liar. You're a liar. I'll be sneaking in. I'll be sneaking in there while you're on the air. I will key your car. Oh, good. Let me tell you. Jay will mess with Woods like hardcore. And every once in a while.
Woods will come back pretty hardcore. And when he does, Jay basically wants to gut him. His response to it is going to be, I'm going to dismantle your car and throw it over the Coronado Bridge. Oh, really? He's the one who overreacts. Move my car. That was a joke. Oh, yeah. I've never shot you on bare skin. Last week, he shot me behind the knee on skin. On material. So today, we are... Even. Tell the truth. Really? Was it on bare skin? Yeah, it was on bare skin. Was it? It was right behind the knee. Was it? We're going to post the video that we just shot where you see Jay get shot in the back of the calf. Bare skin, back of the calf. Jay got him. Get him. Oh, no. Oh, no. He better not come in here with an air gun. Yeah, you better not because you'll miss and you'll get L-O-B. Yeah. Look at Woods. Kind of a win-win. Woods is jamming. Chair under the door. Oh, somebody's going down. Oh, the break. During the break. During the break. It's going to be bad. Let's see. We're even. You're a clown. You shot me in the calf. He shot me behind the knee. Do we? Oh, this is Roger Goodell. Goodell. And it was yesterday. Well, it's a long time coming and football's back and that's the great news for everybody. I want to thank D.
and all of the players for their leadership and for securing the long-term future of the game. Having 10-year agreement is extraordinarily great for our game, but most importantly, our fans. And everybody worked hard. Everybody had a passion. And everybody believes in this game of football. I question that. I think that a lot of people did not work hard. Yeah. And what we can do to make our game better. And I think this agreement is going to make our game better. It's an agreement. We're grateful for all the work that both parties did to make sure that we came to this day today. It is not a agreement. And make sure for the fans that we can sit in here and say, football's back. Thank you. It's Commissioner Roger Goodell. Here's Jeff Saturday. He plays for the Colts. And he's thanking... Bob Kraft, the owner of the Patriots. Yeah, if you didn't know, Bob Kraft's wife passed away a few days ago. Miss, if I didn't say a special thanks, I know Fox feels exactly the same way to my wife and to every man's wife who stood beside. And a special thanks to Myra Kraft, who even in her weakest moment allowed Mr. Kraft to come and fight this out. And without him, this deal does not get done.
And, you know, I don't want to be climatic in any way. What is climatic? I don't know. It's if you act like a clam. It's that drink, I think, that you put in, like, some people mix it with beer. Yeah. You put a little bit of beer and a little bit of climatic. Right, Jay? I don't think so. Jay has actually been to a military doctor to be seen about a bad case. of Clomatic that he brought back from the Philippines. Man who helped us save football. And we're so gracious for that. We're gracious for his family and for the opportunity he presented to get this deal done. So thank you very much. We really appreciate it. Thank you, man. I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer. I'm just saying that when he said, I would like to thank our wives who stood by us during this, as opposed to, Divorcing you because you were in a labor dispute? Because you were locked out? You were locked out? You know what, babe? I don't know if you're going to play next season. I'm done. I'm going to look for a guy in the USFL. Yeah, I'm going to go for somebody that plays. Or Canadian League. Because at least they're playing in the Arena League. If you're going to just be striker guy. You should be sitting at home, like eating.
You didn't marry a couch potato. Hello. Married a football player for good reason. Yeah, and right now, you're not a football player. You're Dan. You're just my husband, Dan. Might as well be the gardener. Yeah, you're Dan. Mr. Mom. Hey, Mr. Mom. Are you just going to watch the view again? Married a man. Don't you have some pads to put on or something? I guess I'll go do my volunteer work because I have somewhere to be. I have a job. I don't get paid, but it's... People count on me. Who counts on you? Lazy boy? You guys. The couch. The couch does. Family. When is the thing going to end? I don't know. Shut up. I'm not going to keep married to you. Fine. Get it then. Well, where will you go? I'll have all your stuff. That's fair enough. I'll have half of your junk. At least half. You earned it. Barely. I can't stop looking over my shoulder. He's going to shoot me with that air gun, and that air gun hurts 50 times worse than that vehicle.
It hurts. Let him do it. I can't concentrate. I know. But here's the thing. If you don't let him get you with the air gun, he's going to get you when you're not thinking. Here's the deal. He shot me in the bare leg. It is not deserved. It's not true. It is not deserved. He's retaliating. Ever just make things up? Here's the deal. I'll let you shoot me in the stomach right now. Bare skin. With a BB gun. With a BB gun. Oh, okay. Wait. Wait. Why is that fair? You took it? I know, but he's a freaking mercenary. He'll shoot me behind the knee with that air gun sometimes. Ridiculous. I did not shoot him on bare skin for the record. Jay, you're a baby. I am a bare deal. You shouldn't have to do this. I know I shouldn't have to do this, but I will. Jay's a baby. I'm just calling fair fair. It ain't fair. You shot him. I shot him in the leg on the material, but now I'm going to shoot him in the belly button hole. I thought you said bare skin. Gosh, darn it. He is such a... Okay, okay. Behind that line, you know damn well where you're supposed to be. A real friend wouldn't let... God dang it, I don't want to do this. A real friend wouldn't follow through with this, Jay. I don't want to do this. Come on, get your back. Jay, this is not fair. I don't want to do this. Too late. This is not fair. Even. My brain went numb. Oh, gosh. My brain went numb. My brain went numb. Ah, we're even. Ow, ow, ow. My God. That's so bruised.
like jackass. I'm not kidding. You're still shooting? You are a diabolical man. Jerk. Fair is fair. That's not fair. It is fair. It is not fair. 100% fair. Alright, we are even. Yes, we are. He kind of has one up on you, I'd say. Don't stir the pot. A. He's got a welt. It's like a cigarette burn. Dude, you owe him. You do not owe him. He knows. He knows in his mind. Woodsy, you owe that guy. That is a lie. He shot me on bare skin. That was no accident. This was no boating accident. Jay, he's a monster. He's a monster. I've never told you this. And I couldn't figure it out. I was like, who is it? Who is it? Jay reminds me of the motorcycle cop when I was a kid that my mom wanted me to sit on this motorcycle cop's motorcycle so she could take a picture. And he looked like Jay. Maybe it was me. Were you in Albany, Georgia in 1974? Yes.
And I had on these little lame shorts and I burnt my leg on the muffler. Oh, no. Traumatized me. I didn't want to be with the cops thing. And she wanted me to take the picture and I didn't want to. And I'm crying anyway. And then I get on there and burn my leg on the muffler. Oh, my God. You city sausage. I was afraid of cop, motorcycle cops. Forever. Still kind of M. Still kind of M because of it. Traumatized me. Did you get traumatized by anything when you were a kid? When I was a kid, my favorite bedtime story was Three Little Pigs. I had my parents read it over and over and over again to me. Well, we went to Disney World in Florida when I was five years old. And they do the little parade. And my parents saw the three little pigs walking in the parade towards us. And they were like, oh my gosh, go, go, go, say hi, go say hi. So I ran up and I got all shy and I stood there with my arms crossed like I was going to politely like... Cap them. Yeah. Well, they didn't see me because I was like, you know, two foot nothing. So the pig knocked me over with his big fat belly. Oh gosh. And I fell... And I fell back and then the pig stepped on my arm. Oh, wow. And I got like trampled. I had the silent cry where I couldn't... Oh, that's the worst.
It's where it's so built up that nothing comes out. Yeah. And then when it does, it's an eruption. It was like, man, my parents picked me up, but my older brother and sister were like, and that you couldn't say pig in my family for like five years. We threw the book away. Wow. Please call with traumatizations. 5701949. 570-1949. What was it when you were a kid that, to this day, you're still traumatized by it? AT&T is the greatest. $14.95 a month for 12 months, a one-year term, one-year price guarantee. Now, you get to pocket all the extra money. It's very, very cool.
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Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualified Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Excludes hybrid models. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 8-1-11. ToyotaCare covers normal factory schedule service. Plan is two years or 25,000 miles, whichever comes first. The new Toyota vehicle cannot be part of a rental or commercial fleet or a livery or taxi vehicle. See plan or your participating Toyota dealer for complete coverage details. Rides and grooms. San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, July 31st. It's the Bridal Bazaar. I love it. There's so many choices, and I love to have lots of choices. I mean, I kind of have an idea of what I want, but there's so many choices here. It's really awesome. I like what I'm seeing here. There's a lot of variety and kind of where I'm getting a lot of ideas. It's so much easier to have everything in one spot and to be able to see what you actually like. At the Bridal Bazaar, you'll find everything you need to plan the wedding of your dreams, all in one place, all on one day. There's just so many vendors. She's from everything from flowers to invitations. Cakes, definitely. I'm full from all the tastings. The dresses were gorgeous. Everything that you could possibly imagine. It's wonderful. It's kind of a collaboration of ideas that's coming together. It's got to be a perfect day. Plus, you can register to win a pair of diamond earrings from John Franklin Jewelers. The Bridal Bazaar, Sunday, July 31st at the San Diego Convention Center. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Definitely go to the Bridal Bazaar because it's all you need.
July 30th, reggae sensation Ziggy Marley makes his return to Del Mar. It's the Ziggy Marley Salutes Legends of Reggae Concert and Beer Fest. Enjoy the coolest suds and rock to the rhythm of Ziggy Marley in an all-star roots reggae lineup. Free with racetrack admission or $20 after the last race. Saturday, July 30th, presented by Heineken, an 18 and up concert. Del Mar, cool as ever. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four.
Slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late. And way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego County are now open 24 hours. So drive through any time. Participation varies. Maybe you're addicted to crunch eyes chewing a mouthful after every gulp. Perhaps you like to experiment mixing your Coke with Mountain Dew and a splash of Phantom. Shh. It's a secret. Well, no matter what your thirst demands, know you can quench it at AM-PM, where you'll find up to 24 flavors of fountain drinks, starting at only 99 cents for 22 ounces. Stop by and get refreshed today. AM-PM, too much good stuff.
At participating stores for a limited time while supplies last. Prices may vary. Where's my money? Get ready for this summer's sexiest party. Mega Bounce Circus is coming to 4th & B Friday, July 29th. Dance to the sights and sounds of DJ Hayoka. While sexy acrobats, go-go dancers, clowns, and fetish freaks are turned loose on a thousand crazy heads. Bubbles, balloons, bouncy balls, and bass. Slitter guns, money cannons, and an 8-foot happy face. Tickets are available at 4thandbeevents.com. Mega Bounce Circus. Circus. July 29th at 4th and B. Sponsored by Deja Vu Showgirls. Can we talk Ulta Beauty? Starting Sunday, stock up on liters of select brand name shampoo and conditioner from Redken, Matrix, Joico, and more. Values as high as $48, now priced as low as $14.99. With over 20,000 beauty products, including amazing cosmetic kits, Ulta is about to become your favorite store and salon. Visit ulta.com for a coupon to save an extra $3.50 off a $10 purchase in-store and online. Offer ends July 30th. Exclusion Supply. See store for details. This Friday, from the director of Iron Man, critics are calling cowboys and aliens the boldest blockbuster of the summer. They're here. They're going to wipe us out. You can follow me.
It's unlike anything you've ever seen. We can stop them. You just have to work together. Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford. Grab your guns. We're right now. Cowboys and Aliens. Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. For a limited time, enjoy financing as low as 0.9% on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your San Diego County BMW Center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. This report, it's brought to you by USAA. USAA's commitment to serving the financial needs of the military vets and their families, it's now closer to home. Visit the new USAA Financial Center at Fenton Marketplace. Heading into the freeways, El Cajon, Broadway, westbound ramp to the 8, there's a two-car accident. It's over on the right shoulder. A tow truck's already on the scene. In Ramona Main Street at 14th Street, there's an injury accident. And in Encinitas, the 5 southbound between La Costa Avenue, Loma Santa Fe Drive, we're seeing... teens still in the teens right now. The 805 northbound between Balboa Avenue and the 52, again, still in the teens. This report also brought to you by ExxonMobil at Exxon & Mobile. Their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car runs cleaner. It's just one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
BZT San Diego. Only good financial media station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from that. On FM 94.9. We're calling it Lock in July. This song about Lord of the Rings. I know. Bumps me out. Bums me out. Oh, wow. So check this out, Woodsy. You'll like this. Okay. Pets are good for you mentally and physically. I know that. It says here they did a test, found out that pet owners tend to be less lonely, have more self-esteem, get more exercise, and are more extroverted and are less fearful about closeness to other people. Wow. Some of that rings true. A lot of that, yeah.
I think all of it rings true for you. Not the exercise part. You know that. Now, how about this? Circumcision. Ah. Another one of my strong points. Another one of your strong points. They just did a campaign in South Africa, and they have cut HIV infections by 76%. Told you. Because of it. What they did is they had some people that were donating money all over the world, and these physicians were able to offer free. circumcisions to men over the age of 15 in South Africa. And out of 20,000 men that participated between 07 and 2010, they increased the proportion of circumcised males in the township from 16 to 15 percent. And now those guys, they're not getting infected with HIV. So, yeah, cut it. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, one of the jewels of the undrafted free agent rookies in the NFL has already signed today. He will sign. His name is Mark Herzlich. He played for Boston College. If you guys remember, it's a very cool story. He had Ewing sarcoma, which is a rare form of cancer, bone cancer. And he is back and has now signed with the Giants and tweeted, decision is made. I will be a Giant. Can't wait to get to NYC. So congratulations to him. I think he's the first guy to sign with the team today. Wow. And, you know.
This is going to be coming in like crazy all week because they're starting to sign undrafted free agents now. Also, Padres will take on the Diamondbacks tonight. 7.05 at Petco. Joe Saunders against Dustin Mosley. Uh-oh, Woods. These things that we're asking you to call in with right now are the things that happened when you were a kid that just traumatized you. M1. Let's see. This is M1. Justin. Are you there, Justin? Yeah. here mikey justin from coronado yeah how y'all doing good all right well uh i'm from kentucky i'm out here in the navy and uh when i was little my dad he's real country uh he came in he came into my room and he uh he finished his beer and he goes come on with me now and he went and uh he went in the living room and got his rifle and i guess my dog had uh was dying over in the next yard over And he went and got his rifle, and they took me over there, and he made me watch him shoot it right in front of me. Now, why did he want you to watch? Well, we're big hunters in our family, so the best guess I got, he probably wanted to get me used to hunting and stuff. Dogs are just tools in the hunting and farming community. I know, right. Not just tools? Yep, apparently so are some fathers. I wouldn't talk to him for about a week after that. I said, you shot my dog.
Yeah. Maybe you call in every day. Yeah. Please? I've got plenty of stories. I bet. And also, I'm super stoked for Thursday. Yeah, man. Cool. Come down. Big Wipeout viewing party at Dave & Buster's, 7 to 9 p.m. Woods and Jay on Wipeout. ABC's Wipeout. Nationally televised show. M1 Shelley from Rancho San Diego. Hey, Mikey. How are you today? Good. I was a big fan of Bobby Sherman when I was a teenager. Well, preteen. Anyway, he got married. Who's Bobby Sherman? Who wasn't a big Bobby Sherman fan? Who's Bobby Sherman? Who's Bob Sherman? Who's Bob Sherman? Okay. He was a big star back then. Jay, who's Bobby Sherman? Bob Jay, who's Bobby Sherman? Televangelist? I don't know. This was before television, I guess. Just evangelist. Musician. I'm not that old. No, I don't know. We don't know who Bobby Sherman is, though. There was a show called Here Come the Brides. He was a star in it. Okay. And he sang. Yeah, he was an American singer. American singer. Actor, songwriter. That's Bobby Sherman. Teen Idol in the 60s and 70s. Bobby Sherman, Mike. Let me guess. Your dad took a rifle and he was dying in the other yard. Bobby Sherman.
And he made you watch. Thank you very much. Let's see. M1 Dawn from Carlsbad. Hey, guys. Hi. So when I was about eight years old, we lived in a neighborhood, a bunch of little kids running around all the time. I had really, really long blonde hair and walked up to a group of guys throwing rocks at a beehive. Uh-huh. Boys can run faster than girls. So I went to run and all the bees, about 27 of them, were in my hair. Oh, my God. I'm about to puke this time. Oh, my God. Oh, gosh. Oh, that made me pucker up.
I'm screaming like that commercial where the phone's on the table with the spider. Yeah. Yes. My mom comes out with a hairbrush and starts beating my head. Oh, my God. A neighbor calls the police because she thinks my mom's beating me. I wish that were quieter. The worst part of it is my head swelled to be the size of a beach ball. It was super painful. And after that, I begged my mom to cut my hair. Yes. Really long, pretty hair to the Olivia Newton-Jean. Let's get physical. Are you kidding me? Wow. I'd look like G.I. Jane by the time that was done. I would look like powder. You know that sound? Oh, my God. No. Freaks me out. I couldn't take my kids to see Bee Movie. I see a bee a mile away. She freaks out. It's hideous. Her mom's beating her on the head with a brush. Instead of brushing it out, she beat you on the head with it. The sad part is I was glad she was doing it because I just wanted him out, but it didn't help. It just pissed him off more. Oh, gosh, gosh, gosh. Thank you for the call. Her story just reminded me of a story that I have. I was maybe like...
10 or 11. And my mom was braiding my hair while we were watching my brother run a track race. And he came in earlier than expected and started to beat out people one by one. And my mom started cheering. And as she was cheering, she was yanking on my hair. And jumping up and down. And holding on. And she didn't let go. So I wouldn't let anyone touch my hair. Don't you just call that a Friday night? My mom? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. He's got a couple of jokes. Oh, wow. Wow. That's one of them. Don't you just call that Friday night? I don't, actually. Call that a really terrible day. Call it a traumatic experience. Remember AJ? Remember? Do you remember when we were talking about traumatic things? Remember that time? Do you remember that time on the Mikey show? We were talking about traumatic things? M1 Diet Cokehead from Claremont. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. How are you guys? We're good. How are you doing? I'm fabulous. Thank you. When I was about five or six, we put on our Sunday best and went to Sears and we're going down the escalator. And as we're about to step on, my oldest brother said, don't fall. Well, I fell.
All the way down the escalator. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. I am 30 years old. I am still scared to step up. Once I'm on, I'm good. It's just that initial step. Oh, yeah. It terrifies me. Oh, my gosh. And my brother and my mom still make fun of me. Oh, my. Oh, my. That's how we love. That's right. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. That's outstanding. Have a good day. All right. So, yeah. Speaking of escalators, we were going to. Hawaii this last time. And CB and Amy came with us and he had flip-flops on and was doing jokey jokes at the escalator. Weird. And the escalator sucked his flip-flop in and missed his toes. And he yanked it, like grabbed onto it and pulled it out. Very close. That's what happened to me as a kid. I was trying to stop it with my shoe. And it chewed up my shoe and then got part of my toenail. Who was telling me yesterday a toenail story? I don't want to hear it. I can't hear it. I've ripped a toenail clean off before. My friend Lindsay, she was telling me because I was telling her how I don't like needles.
Because I had to get a cortisone shot in my shoulder. And I don't like needles. They had to freeze it before they stuck the needle in. And I hate needles. Rebecca's got to hold my hand. And last time she did it, she's holding my hand. And the lady said, you're going to feel a little sting. Nice beaver. She said, you're going to feel a little sting. And I went. I went, oh! And she goes, I haven't done anything. I went, really? For real? She goes, no, I haven't done anything yet. She hadn't put the needle. But that's how freaked out I was. And she went, one, two, three. And I went, oh! And she went, I did it on two. She was done. Look at you. She's done on two. It's a good move. Yeah, it was a great move, but I still freaked out on three. Maybe she just keeps counting.
It's a good idea. What happened with the toenail? Toenail was, Lindsay goes in to the emergency room because I told her I don't like needles. She said, this is a worst case scenario with a needle. She said, I dropped a weight on my thumb, the thumb, foot, the paw, the hoof. Please don't say it. On her big toe. And split the nail open and went to the emergency room. And to numb it up, they had to stick a needle inside of the crack in the nail where it was bleeding, and they had to stick the needle inside of there and shoot it full of Novocaine so that it would be numb. I dropped a piece of plywood on my toe, and it blacked all up, and it started to swell. I got a needle, heated it up right through the nail, and then blood went... You did that? Yeah. You got to get rid of the pressure. Release the pressure. Jay, that's it. You're not supposed to perform surgery on yourself. Yeah, you are. I ain't paying a doctor. Yeah. What am I going to pay a doctor? How about this guy that I just read about in the L.A. Times for the in the Southern California section? Man attempts surgery on his hernia with butter knife. Now, listen to this. Sixty three year old Glendale man was in stable condition after he attempted surgery on himself with a six inch butter knife to remove a protruding hernia from his stomach.
When police arrived at the man's home in the thousand block of Columbus Avenue on Sunday evening, the man was lying naked outside his house on a lounge chair. Good times. With what appeared to be the handle of the knife protruding from his stomach. Just stop it. As police waited for paramedics to arrive. Brace yourself. The man reportedly shoved a cigarette that he was smoking inside the open wound. He did not. He was immediately placed on a psychiatric hold and taken to a hospital. Woods saw my face as I was reading the story, but I don't think he expected that. L.A. Times. This is not bat. L.A. Times. Southern California section. Sells like carrots and throw up.
That's hideous. I still can't stop thinking about the nail. The nail gets me. The nail. The nail. The needle in the nail. The needle in the nail. It's like trying to find a needle in a nail. I'd rather be shot. So apparently, this story comes to us from New Zealand. And apparently in New Zealand, you cannot name your child Lucifer. This after three parents have tried, that the country's registrar of births, deaths, and marriages says you can't do it. You also can't use an asterisk or a slash mark. Now, I say that because they tried. And when they tried, they were denied. Here's some other names you can't use. Baron, Bishop, Duke, General, Justice, King, Knight.
Mister, you also can't use the number 89 or the single letter C, D, I, or T. All of these have been tried and denied. Lucifer Woods. Messiah was turned down. Messiah Woods. You can't use that. They should maybe implement some of that over here. Yes. Save some kids some trouble. That's right. That's right. Lucifer Esparza. It was not a name that we considered. You didn't kick it around? We didn't kick it around. How about Messiah Esparza? I'm sure you considered Messiah. No. We did not consider Moses. Jesus. Jesus Esparza. That actually would have been okay. That came on the table.
People have tried the following names and been denied. Fish and chips. Jokester. Sex fruit was denied. Twisty Poi. Stallion. Yeah, Detroit. Yeah, Detroit. Yeah, Seattle has turned down. Yeah, Philly. Yeah, Seattle. Yeah, Detroit. This is about 10 years ago. That name was bad. Garrett. Babe, they won't let us name our child. Yeah, Detroit. Garrett. I also tried Yeah, Seattle. They said no. Garrett. I'm going to try Yeah, Philly, but I know what they're going to say. Garrett. Hopefully they've never heard of lacrosse. Garrett. Sir, there are four scratches through these names. We're not going to. Just try Yeah Lacrosse. It's a city, sir. We're not going to... How do you know? You ever been there? What if I drop the Yeah? How about just Detroit? Detroit Michaels. Seattle Michaels. Come on. You've got to be okay with it. It's my child. She'll love it. She'll. Philly. Philly Michaels. Garrett.
He said to Woods the other day, you can't do that anymore. Mike can do it. You can't. Woods goes, why? Mike can't do it. He doesn't like when I do it. I don't like when you do it. I didn't know there was a moratorium. Yeah. There's not. Woods ignored said moratorium. 100%. Let's see. Oh, wow. Listen to this. Many thought it would never happen, but apparently it has. This is Gene Simmons. How am I to be convinced he's not asleep while he's saying it? Gene, can you turn off the wave-making machine?
It's his alarm clock. He's sleeping. I know. He's asleep, and that's a wave-making machine. He's talking in his sleep. He's talking in his sleep. His girlfriend thinks it's a proposal. He's talking in his sleep. He's talking to himself. He's talking to himself. I can't live without you, but... Playing guitar behind you. Yes. Ask, Gene. Just ask. Just say it. Just say it. Will you marry me? L.O.B.'s like... If he proposes to Shannon Tweed before BFMC, then I'm killing him. Yeah. I think that is BFMC there with him. There. He's like, I got hired to play guitar for Gene Simmons while he asked Shannon Tweed. So he asked her. It's a done deal. It's a done deal he asked. Congrats. Congratulations. It only took 30 years. Yeah. Congrats. Best and worst jobs for 2011.
I think we should announce whatever it is that Lizzie uses in her hair because it smells so good. Yes. I don't know what it is, but it smells good. Let's make some noise in here with our live studio audience. This is the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. There's new and then there's new. As in original. As in the reset button has been pressed. As in the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class, with technology like Attention Assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically, one test drive reveals that all this new technology prompts an old reaction, amazement.
Get the 2011 E350 Sport Sedan at 2.9% APR for 24 to 36 months, or lease one for just $5.99 a month for 33 months with $4,369 due at signing. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services or participating dealers through August 1st, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, and Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad. This is the sound of Becky using a deposit-friendly ATM from Chase. So, I just push the deposit checks button and slide these checks right in the slot. This is the sound of Jane depositing checks at her bank's ATM. Ugh, I gotta lick this envelope. Ow! Becky. And I get a picture of my checks on the receipt to confirm. Jane. I got a paper cut on my tongue. Becky. Okay, I'm done.
Jane? Excuse me, can I borrow your pen again? I forgot to put my account number on the envelope. Say goodbye to deposit slips and envelopes with Chase Deposit Friendly ATMs. A faster way to deposit checks, even cash. Deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time. Just slide them in. And with a picture of your check on your receipt, you know that your deposit is safe and secure. Now that's a step forward. Thank you. Here's a pound bag. Deposit-friendly ATMs from Chase. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. The future is a potentially thrilling and wonderful place full of all sorts of automatic ways to make our lives easier. Everything from automatic dog-pitting clocks to auto jetpack washers to sock fold-o-matics. It's going to be great. But until then, it's good to know that you can start saving money automatically today. When you're ready to bring your savings into the 21st century at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With the Way to Save Savings account exclusively from Wells Fargo, you can save money automatically. If you choose our Save As You Go option, we'll automatically transfer $1 from your Wells Fargo checking account to your Way to Save account when you make a debit card purchase, pay a bill with Wells Fargo Online Bill Pay, or make an automatic payment. You can also set up monthly automatic transfers to grow your savings faster.
With a WayToSave account, you also gain access to Wells Fargo online banking, online savings tools, and Wells Fargo mobile banking. To learn more about how you can get ahead with your savings with our WayToSave account, stop by Wells Fargo today. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. Do you find yourself staring whenever a Jeep vehicle drives by? Do you wonder where it's been? Where it's going next? Do you say to yourself, someday, when the time is right, that's going to be me? Say hello to someday. Now you can get great deals on the new Jeep vehicle of your choice, including the newly designed Compass, the newly refined Patriot, the versatile Liberty, the iconic Wrangler, and the most luxurious and capable Grand Cherokee ever. It's time for other people to wonder where you're going next in your new Jeep vehicle. Now, at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance Event. For the first time ever, get 0% APR for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 finance for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Offer ends 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. Life's better with beast!
Okay, detailed inning-by-inning replays. Check. Reports from the dugout and clubhouse. Check. Complete MLB reports from around the league. Check, check, check. Mr. Tinky dashboard troll. You know, it's a good luck thing. Really? The Sequoia and Casino postgame show following most Padre games. Mr. Tinky. Hey, you never know, Johnny. You never know. Channel 4. The Padres host their series with the D-backs. 630 Tuesday. From the remotest corners of East County to the splendor of the Silver Strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday, exclusively on Channel 4, San Diego. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business?
does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back to school items. That means big savings on everything on your back to school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard to find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Pocket folders, just 25 cents. Two-pack of 4A dry erase markers, just 25 cents. Pencil sharpeners, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 7.30. Sharpness and markers limit 5. Folders limit 10. Apparently, the automotive world still refuses to make luxury more attainable. Guess it's time once again for Chrysler to lead by example. Now get great deals on the new Chrysler lineup, including the all-new Quiet and Roomy 300, the fuel-friendly Chrysler 200, the top-down-for-fun 200 convertible, and America's best-selling minivan, Chrysler town and country. Luxury is yours now.
at the Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram Summer Clearance Event. Well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles can lease Chrysler 300 Touring for $319 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due-at-lease signing. Tax, title, and license extra. Call 1-888-Chrysler for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Take delivery by August 1st. 20-city, 31-highway, EPA-estimated MPG with a 4-cylinder, 6-speed AT front-wheel drive. Based on 2010 total minivan sales. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel parks. Oh, gosh. I like this show. I don't like being alone. I don't like going places alone. I killed my first deer when I was seven. On FM 94.9. I'm gonna break away. Live in July. Let's make some noise. Oh. Are you not a Poco fan, Jay? Just seemed like it needed it. Just seemed like it needed it. Every time I hear crazy love, it makes me want to fart. I don't understand. He's a freaking weirdo. He's a freaking weirdo. Freaking. Best and worst jobs. Here is what Forbes says. First of all, they found out that 17 out of 20 Americans plan on
Trying to change jobs this year. 17 out of 20. That was last year. Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. So Forbes put this list together. It's based on pay, outlook, work environment, stress, and physical demands. Mackie. Ask him to stand. The best job for 2011 software engineer. Average pay, 87K. The stress, the physical demands are low, and there's room for growth. The rest of the top five are, these are the best, mathematician, actuary. You know what an actuary a person is? I think I do. They do stats for insurance companies. They actuary do. They actuary do that. That's how Jay says actually. Yes. I actuary did that, Mike, already.
Statistician, which would be the worst job in the world. But they say it's a good job. Computer systems analysis. Worst jobs of 11. Well, the worst job of 2011. Is something called, and Jay will know what this is, aroused about. Yep. Did you used to be aroused about? No, I was a commercial diver. Easy. But they were all over the rig. Aroused about. Fixes oil rigs. It's a hideous job. Low paying. How long would we last? Low paying. Very stressful. Very dangerous. Dirty. No growth in that job. The other bottom five jobs. Iron worker. Lumberjack. Get out. That's a great job. Just for the chicks. Roofer. Yeah. Taxi driver. I think that'd be kind of fun. I wouldn't have. We're on the air, Chuck. We're on the air. We're on the air. We're on the air. You go to the movies, you talk back to the screen, Kyle? I'll go back to the hospital. Oh, wow. Oh. Slam the brakes on. Holy cow. Yeah, taxi driver would be the worst. It'd be fun. You see, like, all kinds of interesting people and, you know. Yeah, making love in the back of the car. Yeah, I'm in. Oh. Are they ripping you off?
Oh, I wouldn't want any part of that. Yeah, getting ripped off. Not paying, running out, drunk. Absolutely. Boring. New releases that are out today, Woodsy. Yes, sir. Very lady-friendly today. The new Joss Stone record is out. LP1. Don't get it. By the long face. The new Kelly Rowland is out. Here I am. Rowland. I thought it was Rowland. It's Rowland. Rowland. It's Rowland. Feast. I was trying to be Beyonce, Rowland. Identical Beyonce. Identical. Sounds good. They're Destiny's children. Yes. Those two. They are. This is the new Vanessa Carlton. Mikey. Mikey. Rabbits on the run. She came out of the closet, by the way. She did? Yeah. I liked it better when it was called Michelle Branch.
Who's the one you like? Michelle Branch. You like Michelle Branch? And I do like Vanessa Carles. Did Michelle Branch sing, I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch? No. Who's that? Meredith Brooks. I don't know. Close enough. Did Meredith Brooks sing... Really? That's Mel Brooks. Out on DVD today is Source Code with Jake Gyllenhaal. What is it? I don't know. Alright. It's a movie about... Some guy. Okay. And then American Grindhouse, which I think you'll like. It's a documentary about Grindhouse movies. Really? Yeah. I probably would like that. I think you would. What else? That's it. Slow day, pal. There you go. There's a mystery prisoner that has people in Utah stumped. They don't know what the deal with this guy is. Picked him up because he was like wandering around a...
He was wandering around a parking lot. They arrested him. He won't give his identity. They took his fingerprints, and they don't match anything. He's pretty well-spoken, seems to be educated, but he doesn't want to say who he is, so they think, ah, this guy's a little lamb. Alien. Jason Bourne, maybe. Yeah, maybe like a CIA agent, sniper. Could be. They gave him a calling card, said, you know, call your family, because they wanted to try to trick. He won't use it. Don't have nobody to call. Don't worry about it. What was the charge? Let's see. Trespassing? What a weak charge. Well, it is a weak charge, and they would have let him go, but he didn't want to give his identity. So because of that, that's why they kept him. So now they're keeping him. Yeah. Wow. 60s. He's got gray hair. Jay. I told Jay, man, I'm getting ready to wash that gray right out of my beard.
I don't like it. I like it. It's distinguished. I think it looks kind of lame, though. It's distinguished. It looks weird with that brown. Yeah. It looks fake. It's brown skin. You'll get an artificial brown if you use that stuff. Yeah. Just go with the flow. Oh, it'll look like fake brown? Yeah. Go to a place. I got a place for you. Age, grace. Hide Edwards Salon. Will they do beards? Absolutely. They'll do everything there. Don't those grow really fast? Yeah, they do. She's right. Yeah. She's right. It's like shaving, you know? Yeah. Now I can't do it. Just go gray gracefully. Yeah. I pictured it coming in differently than the way that it is coming in. It's coming in like. It's a little sparse. Yeah. It's like scraggly. Yeah. That's the way it does. It's peppered in. Salt and pepper. Hence the name. Thanks. I am not the stereotypical Mexican. It's a true statement. And my mom is racist against our own race. Mom, we're Mexican. We're Mexican.
Yeah, Rebecca's like, your grandsons, they're Mexican. Your sons, Mexican. 100%, like not even any other blood. You, in fact, don't have any other blood. You're 100% Mexican. They're telling this story to, who's the M1 that came to the beach? Morgan. She said her grandma, same thing. Oh, she told me some of the racist jokes her grandmother tells. About Mexicans. Yes. She is, in fact, Mexican. 570-1949. I can tell some if you want it. It's okay. You can do it. Let's make some noise in here. We've got a live studio audience. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS top safety pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 MPG highway and available seating for up to seven? and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry-exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity. Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 25 mpg highway. Well, with the deals going on now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event, any choice is a smart one. Qualified current, less easy, competitive vehicles can get the Charger rally for $2.99 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due at signing tax title and license extra.
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Hey, hey, creepy sheriff. Watch me. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Hey, creepy sheriff. Who am I now? What am I now? It's my new ringtone for you. That's right. Oh, boy. That's funny. This is going out to all you Alice in Chains fans. And it goes like this. One, two, and two. Flood again. The same old trip was my way. What, dear? Tell them I'll call them back. We're going to be doing the big wipeout party, Dave and Buster's, on Thursday night. How about that? Yeah. We're still doing that? Yes, we are. Are we allowed to get drunk there? Yes. No, Lauren. It's a company function. Well, yeah, and we got to work, you know. Ooh, right. The next day, so.
Sorry. 7 to 9 p.m. Thursday night. Dave and Buster's power cards. We'll be giving out Dave and Buster's power cards. Jay and Woods are on the show Wipeout. Yes. It's going to be great. I will be playing video games while you guys are watching Wipeout. No. No, you won't. Yes, I will. You'll be signing autographs, Hollywood. She'll be shooting. Hollywood's real good winning tickets. Try to win that boom box. Here's what I think is crazy. What I think is crazy is the fact that they, you don't even get to see it. For the first time until it airs. Right. In front of all of us. Yeah. So you just got to be there embarrassed watching it with your family and friends. Oh, man. Everybody who knows us. You think LLB is going to go, ha, ha, a few hundred times? I can't wait. Now, how does it work? When you're on the show, are you the entire show, a portion of the show, what? There were 12 teams. 12 teams of two. Yeah, 12 teams of two. And then everybody goes through the first round. Then it gets narrowed down to six teams. Six teams. Then from there, it gets narrowed down to three teams. And then it gets narrowed down to two teams. And then it gets narrowed down to one final team. Wow. And we did pretty good. All right. Well, we'll have to see what happens on Thursday. There should be a lot of us on there, I would imagine. I would think so. Winner of the show gets $50,000. Correct. You know, so.
They promo to us as the shock jocks. Yes, we're in the shock jocks. See, now when you guys were trying out for it, I thought that it was going to be boss and like employee. It is. It's the boss and employee episode. So every team you see, boss and employee. Right. There's a father and son. I guess the son works for the father. There's a country club cuties. Country club cuties. And they were hubba hubba. I'm sure you guys talked to them plenty. They actually sat at our table in the trailer the whole day. I didn't know. Did they? Didn't they? You invited them over. Well, it's just that I told Kim it was always us by ourselves. I said it was an all-male show. Well, that's what it said. All-male. All-male. All-male. I said it was only males. It was Mel Gibson. Mel Torme. I said, hey, there wasn't no females there. And so you don't got to worry about it. Just shut up. Just shut up. Woods. Remember? Remember what I said? In our trailer, there's all Mel. I don't know females. Did you hear about the guy at the Burger King? Mikey. Three words out.
Barely got anything. Barely said anything. Didn't we have a talk about this? I barely said a word. We had a talk about this, did we not? Apparently a 52-year-old man, Jerry, in Colorado went through the Burger King drive-thru and when he got to the window, asked the 24-year-old female employee if she could, quote, handle his Whopper. This really is about Jay. Takes two hands. Does it handle a whopper? Two hands shaped like a lobster. Claws. Claws. Like an ant. Says woods. Like a praying mantis. I have 2015 vision in both eyes, pal. She took his license plate down, laughed, and the cops quickly tracked him down and arrested him for indecent exposure.
Was he exposed? Yeah, he exposed himself and asked if she could handle his wallet. Yeah. Just doing bits at the drive-thru line? Just doing bits. Getting arrested. So she laughed. She thought it was funny. Wrote down his license plate number. After laughing. And he was arrested for indecent exposure. As he should be. I wonder how they proved that. Maybe they had an eyewitness, like the time that you urinated on the golf course. Yes. In front of me. Like millions of men do every day. Into the woods, not in the middle of the fairway. I've never seen anybody urinate on a fairway except for you. I challenge the fact that millions of men. I'd say millions of men do urinate on the golf course in the woods. Right in the middle. Never in the middle of a fairway. Right where you are. Never. Right where you are. What never happens is another man coming and staring, walking around the car intentionally to look. Not to look. I happened upon it. You stopped. It was like seeing a car that got hit by a train. Everybody else in the car was like, Woods, why is this so awkward? Why are you staring? I've never seen a man pinch his wiener like that. Nobody was pinching. It was like seeing a car. Nobody was. Somebody was holding their pants back. They didn't want to get anything on them. If by your pants you mean you're a wiener, then yes. Then yes, you are accurate. What is wrong with you? It's accurate. If by pants you mean dong, then yes. Thank you.
Thank you. You just thought it was a tripod. How would that... Yeah, wouldn't that be like exactly what... How you doing, Hillary? I wish I would have waited another minute for it. Other than that, I'm great. You're lucky you got girls. You're lucky you got eight. You have eight little girls. Yeah, yes. I know. You have to deal with this stuff. I know. Boys like to do that outside. And some grown senior citizens like to do that. She said to do it outside. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It happens. She's a child. Jay is 107. That's true. Jay's a grown adult. Good point. What do you have coming up? I grabbed the new Blink-182 song because I got a few calls for it yesterday in the second half of my show. It's called Up All Night. Is it a slaughter cover? It is, actually. It is. And the second single is going to be Flight of the Angels. Nice.
It's actually really good. It reminds me kind of of Angels and Airwaves. Nice. A little bit. Good stuff. So I'm going to play that in a bit. Mazzy Star. Grab some Dead Kennedys. And I'm going to start with a band whose debut album came out about 10 years ago. Almost exactly. And Stereogum just released a... tribute to the album with Peter, Bjorn, and John and the Morning Benders. So I'll play a song from the album and tell you all about how you can download that in just a bit. There you go. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next and we'll come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it all over again. The Mikey Show is out. Yep. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. Sure, the corporate office has a say in what we do here. No beer drinking between the hours of 10 and 2. Carne asada fries only twice a week and absolutely no European swimwear. FM 94.9. It's about the music.