The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/02/10

0:00KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. And phone lines are open for you. 570-1949. Mikey Show is on the air. Open phone lines mean that you can call about any topic. There is no limit to you in terms of what you want to talk about. You can call us and bring up any topic that's going on in the news. You can ask any questions or you can... Comment on any of the stuff that we're going to be mentioning right here as we open the show. The very beginning of the show is generally the time where we're talking about the big news that's happening out there. Lindsay Lohan's one of them. BP is a big one today. What happened at the Bahia Resort here in San Diego is a big one.

3:48that we feel is not necessarily the big news, although a lot of times it is. Mostly it's what do you care about? What's the stuff out there that's like really interesting? Gets your attention. Gets your attention. Yeah. So really quickly, five people on the show. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's Lauren. That's Sienna. Jay is our producer. And Austin. He's answering the phone. Say, I'm losing my voice, by the way. I can tell. Yep. That's scary. You want to show me a little trick that you showed me yesterday? Yeah. If I speak in a lower register, I'm fine. But if I start... It goes quick. ...to get my voice up a little higher... It's killing me. ...then I lose it completely. Don't do that. No, don't do that. Should I get you a lozenge? A lozenge. I need a lozenge. You need a lozenge? Mm-hmm. The worst thing you can do is whisper. Don't whisper. Yeah. That does not save your voice. It strains it. I didn't know that was bad for you. It's true. I didn't know that strained your voice. We have some peppermint tea out in the kitchen. Oh, delicious. Mm-hmm. That's very good for you to have. And I keep something with me all the time called throat coat. Yeah, that's good. It's good. It's good for you. Big deal this morning at 730.

5:14Eskimo Blue Waters apparently has something planned with woods. Oh, wow. Weird. News to me. We're going to find out together what that is. A little nervous? It should be good. It'll be fine. She's up to no good there, I'm sure. She's been here since 3.30. Of course. She's out there running tunes. Yeah, she doesn't have anything else to do. I saw her like... She had a pen and musical notation paper, and she was just writing and then scribbling out. Headphones on, just so serious. One headphone on. One headphone on, just doing her thing. Hopefully one day she makes it in show business. Good, because then she'll get out of here. Maybe one day. One day. Are you ready for this? Lindsay Lohan has been released. From jail. That was a brief stint. Do you guys remember how many days was she supposed to serve? 90. 90. Exactly. Does it even qualify as a stint? I mean, what is a stint? You know, you'd almost feel like a stint in jail.

6:26I guess if you were overnight in jail, you did a stint in jail. I guess. A weekend is a stint. A weekend. So I guess she did a stint in jail. She did a stint. I mean, 13 days is, hey, it's more than you've ever done or anybody else in here. Absolutely. Kids got an extra week on you. She did 14 days. 14 days. However, on a 90-day sentence, that's a little sketchy. Well, you know, she was serving for a nonviolent offense. That's true. And this happens for a lot of people that have nonviolent offenses. You know, if they have good behavior, their stays are reduced. Yeah. Two weeks. She was released at 135 this morning. Wow, that's a weird time to let someone out. Probably they were trying to avoid the paparazzi. Great call. Yeah, the L.A. sheriff's spokesman said that she has been sent directly to her next destination, which people are assuming it's UCLA Medical Center for Rehab. Oh, really? Yeah, they don't know exactly which treatment center, but that's the one everyone's thinking she's going to. It'll either be there. The other real popular ones for celebrities are there's a place in Malibu. Promises. It's like...

7:33$15,000 a day. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's something absurd per day. Yeah, and then there's another one. There's another one, I believe, that's in Newport, and it deals with people that are recovering especially from opiates, which is prescription meds. And heroin. Heroin, prescription meds, that kind of deal. Yeah. So we'll see where she goes. 570-1949 if you want to comment on it or 949mikey at gmail.com. Now, she has to do the full three months in rehab, right? I mean, there's no early release. Yeah. 90 days. 90 days. That's good for her. She was making a big deal when she was in jail saying, you know, that she wanted to go home at least for a day and see her family because she's been in jail. Then she has to go straight to rehab. And they're sending her straight to rehab. This is what I can tell you about rehab. Having been there, rehab does not work unless you know and believe that you have an issue. But if you believe that you don't, forget it.

8:44Doesn't work. Yeah, it doesn't work. I mean, don't stick. Yeah. The only way it sticks, like throwing pasta against a wall. The only way that it sticks against a wall is if you feel like, oh, yeah, I'm messed up. But if you go in there and you're like, I don't even know why I'm here. I don't have a problem. You're not. It's not going to work. The court ordered rehab is always has always been a big question. You know what I mean? Because they're like, great. It's a it's another sentence. Yeah. And she didn't want to be in jail. She's certainly not going to want to be locked down for 90 days there. And it's an inpatient place. Well, what I hope, and this may be the case, maybe she goes into rehab believing that there is no problem, but while in rehab discovers, oh, okay, there is. Hopefully. I mean, if there was a really big problem, she probably notices that in jail or has already noticed it, you know? Yep. Yep, for sure. Well, we'll see, hopefully. And then the other big news today is that BP says that they're taking a ginormous step today. A big step today. Yeah, their plan is to permanently seal the oil well. That's crazy. Today's the day that they're set to launch the static kill, which is when they take the drilling mud and possibly cement, and it's going to be sent down into the well through the temporary cap that's been in place for about two weeks now. That's great. And then in a couple days, when the relief well's all done, they're going to use the relief well then, you know, and that's supposed to be the ultimate fix to everything. That'd be great. Yeah, so good news.

10:13No. After a really long time. I'm skeptical. It's like, what's the next thing that's going to go wrong? Something, you know, it's sad that we have to think like that, but hopefully all goes well. I've always tripped out about how they can put cement underwater and it sets. I know. Isn't it weird? It's so weird. It's so strange. It's so weird. You think it has a dry. Dryness. Yep. Well, then, do they lift it back out? It's like... What are you just blasting? Like, they're already in trouble with the dispersants or whatever those chemicals are that they put in the water. It's like, does this stuff come out? Are they, you know? The cement? Cement, yeah. Will they then take it back out? Or will they use it? No, he has to plug it up. How does it harden? That's what's going to seal it. How does it harden, though? How does it harden? I thought it has to be dry. That's what I don't get. I thought you have to get it wet. Never mind. Not that you had to throw it up and get it wet. And then it dries. Special underwater cement. It's special. Special. Special. Those are smart people that know how to make. Underwater cement. So crazy. Then the other thing going on is, did you hear about what happened at the Bahia Resort?

11:20This weekend. Yeah, right here in San Diego. This happened Saturday night. There were people waiting on the dock at the Bahia Resort to board the Bahia Bell, which is one of those. I've never been on it. I think it's like a ferry. Yeah. And so they were all waiting on the dock and there was, you know, about 50 people out there. Yeah. And they were waiting for the people on the Bahia Bell to load off so that the next shipment could go on to the boat. bridge collapsed that they were all standing on the dock just collapsed about 50 people fell in the water a couple people had to be taken to the hospital yeah minor injuries you know nothing too crazy but i mean imagine standing there you're ready to get on a boat you're all dressed up and then boom everyone falls in the water It was only a few feet of water, you know, but still that can break ankles and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. Easy. I wonder how it happened. You can impale yourself on a post. There's all kinds of stuff that can go wrong down there. They're saying that the cause of the collapse is still a mystery. They don't know what happened. Yeah. It's scary, though. It launched into Mission Bay. Yeah. No thanks. Beautiful weather. Great weather. Oh, this weather is perfect. Beautiful. Not too hot. It's sunny. Gorgeous. People are still complaining about it.

12:31What are they saying? That it's just not August weather. What's going on? It's fine for me. It was hot. It was hot yesterday. I played ball yesterday. It was hot. Not in El Cajon? Yeah. It was warm. It was hot. El Cajon. El Cajon. Yeah, well, is it here to stay or? Well, they're saying that the water temperature is the coldest it's been in 20 to 30 years. For sure. Because I guess the water is still really cold. I haven't been in. I went in. You went in. Yeah, it's unprecedented. Like, I can't believe. You could still get away with wearing a full suit. I did. Yeah. A full wetsuit. I didn't because I was trying to be defiant. But, yeah, you can wear a full suit. I was sitting on my board doing this. Really? Blowing into my hand. My hands were numb. They were numb. I was like, come on, dude. Well, you were on Dawn Patrol. I did early. Before the sun was really blazing. L.O.B., you're used to surfing at this time of year, usually. Usually I'm in like a rash guard and bikini bottom. That's it? Yeah. And you're fine? Yeah. Oh my gosh. You should be fine. Usually that starts around like late May to early June where people start trunking it. This is weird. Well, what's weird is that I trunked it. I trunked it in early July and then I was in a full wetsuit on Saturday. Yeah. Freezing.

13:46Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So they're saying that it's supposed to even get warmer, the weather, on Tuesday, tomorrow. But then by the end of the week, it should be cooling down again. No. Perfect. Yeah. Are you kidding? I'm only reading what I have in front of me from climatologists. You know what I mean? But who knows? Climatologists say there's no explanation. One of the discussions we were having this weekend with some friends is, so does this mean... that we're just getting the summer later and it'll last way into the year. Oh, I hope so. I don't think so. I don't think so. Stop it. It'll be business as usual. No, no, no. When fall weather comes, fall weather comes. I love the fall here, but we need to have a little bit of summer. Living here forever, it's like you never know. It could last for a long time. Sometimes winters are really... really sunny and hot, you know, the whole winter. It's like you never know. Yeah. So weird. Oh, for our weather girl, Sabrina got here, you know, before nine. Maybe she could fill us in on some stuff. But yeah, she wouldn't know if she was here. She doesn't know. She reads it right from the website. Yeah. My wife's been here for 34 years, has never seen weather like this in the summertime. Really? I mean, by August, it's warm. It is blazing. September is like the hottest, most beautiful month.

15:03Well, I feel like summer's just starting, and then I think about, like, the kids are going to be going back to school. Weird. At the end of the month. I know. Like, back on the East Coast, I remember when August would hit, and you'd be like, no! All the back-to-school commercials start coming on, and it's like, okay, now we're in the home stretch. And I feel like this weekend kind of just kicked it off. Did it? I don't know. There was, like, one other sunny weekend. Yeah. The whole summer so far. There was about a billion surfers out. Oh, yeah. So, I mean, a billion. Dude, let me ask you, as you're listening right now, do you even care? Maybe people are like, this doesn't bother me one bit. Yeah. Or maybe people are like, I'm fed up with it. 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. Yeah, I mean, I'd like to see some sunny. A little depressing to me with all the clouds. To me, that's a little bit depressing. 570-1949 is the number you want to give us a call. Dick Cheney is out of intensive care, but was, I guess, in intensive care. Yeah, he's been in the hospital for about a month. He suffered his fifth heart attack. My goodness. Maybe cut out bacon. Yeah, for sure. No, he's still in the hospital, but now he's out of intensive care. His daughter spoke out and said, you know, hopefully he'll be home by the end of the week. But yeah, man, five heart attacks. The procedure he just had.

16:28It requires a medical pump to keep the circulation going. Just hardcore surgery for this guy. So hopefully he's all right. But yeah, word is he should be out and home by the end of the week, which is good because he's been there for a while. My mom had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital this weekend for having an issue with her knee. Really, really bad pain. They need to do something about it right away. She's okay. They're giving her some meds for it. Tough week for health-wise for my parents. Yeah. My parents have just, it's been one thing after the other. But hopefully, yeah, I hope they get better. 570-1949 is the number. How about this one? There was a group of convicts in Arizona that escaped from prison. My wife heard that and said, How do people escape from prison? These days, I don't understand. Nowadays, yeah. These are three convicted killers who escaped from an Arizona prison. It's the Kingman prison. They escaped on Friday night. They cut a hole in a fence. Really?

17:42Got out. They're saying that there was an accomplice that must have helped them. But one of them has been captured and he was captured in Colorado last night, Sunday. Which means they must have got out and then they split up. Yeah. I mean, these are murderers and they're saying, look, these people have escaped from prison. They're dangerous and odds are that they're armed. I have an idea. Maybe instead of like. Cable television and all the other things that taxpayer dollars go to. Maybe we put those like bracelets on the dangerous criminals. Yeah. In case they get out. All for it. You know? All for it. Maybe we chip them. Maybe we chip them. I'm for that too. I don't know. An uncomfortable bracelet I think is good. Sure. Well, you know, the thing is, is that when they first get out of there, they have to commit crime unless somebody gives them dough. Right. Otherwise, they've got to commit crime in order to have dough and get going. Cyclical. Yeah, right? Well, odds are that the other two are on their way, if not already in Mexico. Yeah. M1 Matt from Mission Valley, you're not digging the weather, right? No, not at all, man. Yeah. Not at all. I got this new girlfriend from Texas. I've been telling her for weeks how beautiful the weather is, and it's just not beautiful lately. Same with the woods, man. I'll talk to her in like...

19:00In November, December. Yeah, I mean, I heard you guys talking about surfing, and I haven't gone once. Really? I got two boards just sitting in the garage. It's a brutal summer, man. And Woodsy's from Texas. Same deal. I thought he was going to come out here with this beautiful weather. It's just been terrible. Is it wrong that I secretly love it? And not just because I'm pregnant, but because of the tourists. The tourists. It's so fun. I went to the grocery store for the weekend, and I've never seen so many tourists in the grocery store. I'm like, what are you guys doing in here? Yeah, because they don't know where to go. We don't have Stater Brothers back at home. We thought we'd check it out. We don't have Henry's. There's like craft supply stores that are running out of stuff. Because people are like, what do we do? Making bracelets. They all go to the movies. and stuff. Let's make a doll out of yarn. Maybe Hollywood is behind all of this weather. Could be. M1 Chris from Oceanside, you there? Yeah, I'm here. You like it. I love it. How come? I love it. Why? Well, I mean, the last, like, four summers, it's been so miserably hot, especially in Oceanside, that it's kind of a nice break. Yeah. It is a nice break.

20:10It's breaks gone on long enough, you ask me. I mean, eventually when you have breaks at work, you go, okay, guys, it's a nice smoke break, but you're done with a cigarette, right? Come on back to work. Define miserably hot, though, because where I'm from, it's like 80% humidity, 105 degrees. But when it's hot here, most people don't have air conditioning. Most people are not equipped like everyone is in Texas. You have to be. Not only that, but I also think that it's relative. You know, you may say that it's hot. It may be hot in Texas. Go to Tunisia and it's going to feel different. We experience what we believe to be cold. You become acclimated. You get acclimated. You go, oh my goodness, it's like 45 degrees outside. I'll talk to somebody from Minnesota. What's the coldest it gets here? Not very, but to us it is. It gets in the 30s? No way. It does? Yeah. But yeah, your pipes will freeze. What? For sure. Really?

21:10Absolutely. It rarely gets below freezing. Absolutely. Depending on where you are in the county. Absolutely. If you're coastal, no. Let me tell you. Oh, yeah, like Ramona gets cold. Let me tell you the best. It does in Escondido. It does in Poway. It does in areas that are inland. I literally heard that the weather, like, you know, not being from here and only visiting once. Yeah. I was like, I heard it was 75 year round. And I'm like, they're like, Woodsy, Christmas morning, 75 degrees. I'm like. Holy cow, dude. People go to the beach on Christmas. That's amazing. Well, I have gone to the beach the past couple Christmases. But when I moved out here, not a single sweater, not a single jacket. And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa. Wow. Yeah, it can. And I have a feeling it's going to be a cold winter. No, we've just had a cold winter. I'm one Karen from Hillcrest. Are you there? Karen? Yeah. What are you doing? Dude. Sounds like she's making breakfast. Yeah, she's got me a speaker. I'm sorry. What are you doing? Good morning. What are you doing? Beautiful, hazy. I know, but what are you doing? I'm just, oh, I was like running water. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I was waiting. Where are you? Where are you? Are you cooking? What are you doing? I want a visual image. Yeah, paint the picture for us. Paint the picture what you're doing. Born and raised here. Never, never have I seen this. Wow. I know it. Never. Hey, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen.

22:37I'm going to OCD out, man. Okay, babe. Are you in the bathroom or the kitchen or where are you? Kitchen. In the kitchen? In the kitchen. What are you doing in there? I'm just getting ready to make coffee and wake up. Okay, I feel totally satiated now. I'm like, what? I had to know. I heard some pots and pans. And I just had to know. But now I get it. Yeah, how many years, Karen? Have I been here? Yep. My whole life. How many years? I'll be 45 in November. Never seen this, right? Never. Creepy. Figures. It's weird, man. Bad luck charm. Woods thinks he's a bad luck charm. I call it earthquake weather. Oh. No. Well, you know, climates are changing, you know? I know it. Everybody goes, oh, it's global warming. What does global warming mean to you? Hey, I'll tell you what it means to Senator Kerry. Senator Kerry says in the next five to ten years, the polar ice caps will melt. Yes. Why is our water cold? He's a genius. I don't know. I don't know. But hey, listen, Karen. Karen, you know what, though? If you look at other parts of the country, man, it's freaking hot everywhere. It's hot. Minnesota had a warmer summer than we did. They did. I think it's going to get warm. September, October, they'll be warm. Really? I don't know. Yeah, I think it will. I hope so. It makes me feel better. And the sun is out. I go outside, do stuff with tomatoes. Okay. That's creepy.

24:05I tell you what, just go inland. I just got back from Laguna Meadows. I wanted to ask you about that. Where's Laguna Meadows? You go out the Sunrise Freeway, you go out the 8, take a left on Sunrise, and it goes up and up in the mountains there. It was cooler up top, but the sun was just blazing during the day. Point of reference, are we talking like by Alpine? Point of reference, it's like 45 minutes from here, out the 8. Okay. Jay's voice sounds very sultry this morning. I know. You're sounding very foxy. Mike and Jay are like little scratchies. You both sound like Sienna. I know. That's what happens when you sit around a campfire and ride your bike. Mellow house. Maybe drink too much. I was going to say he's not mellow. I want to ask him about it, about camping and all that. He went camping, so I want to talk about that. It was cool. You see the pictures on my Facebook page. They're amazing. I'm going to check it out. You sound like Barry White in there. I know. Good Lord. You're doing pictures on my Facebook page. You know what? See, you know what I think it is? Oh, wow there, buddy. I think that, I'm not 100% sure, but I think that he's got his headphones or that microphone real loud. And what it does is it causes you, because you don't want to blow your ears out. Right. You talk like this because you don't want it to hurt if you talk.

25:17Mike, don't be jealous of his deep voice. Of his sexy voice. Sounds like honey rolling down his throat. He hasn't really talked that much this morning. He's kind of kept to himself. I've been busy. You know sometimes when you wake up, when you answer the phone, the first time someone calls you, you're like, hello? I think it takes a while to get him going. It was a long weekend, trust me. Just keep talking. We'll find out about it. Maybe you call your wife and leave her a nice message. Yeah, dude. Good morning. Maybe you leave us all a message. Absolutely. What's the latest with Ryan Matthews, our first-round draft pick for the Chargers? What's the latest with that guy? Is he going to sign? Is he going to sign? Is he going to sign? What's going on? Padres, make another move. Get another bat. Woo! Woodsy's going to tell you if this guy's any good next on What's On Sports, and we'll update you on what's going on with our first-round draft pick, Ryan Matthews. down for a few minutes while i educate your butt let your voice be heard on the mikey show now how are these levels friends call 570-1949 or text

26:40949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Scion. Inward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the cast. by local 94.9 stage. The silent comedy, the nervous records of burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets for 30 bucks today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at fm949sd.com or independencejam.com. Eight vans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. You're listening to Reese's Radio. Reese's News Time is now.

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33:25That's 1-866-245-5921. This report, it is brought to you by Allstate. On the 15 southbound Mercy Road, an accident. It's a car and a pickup truck. It's over on that right shoulder. Also, the 163 northbound between the 8 and the 805. Kind of slow this morning. The 805 southbound between Miramesa Boulevard, Governor Drive. Also, just a little bit of slowing. This report also brought to you by Quiznos. Brought to you by Quiznos. Five, four, three value menu. Get a great lunch for five, four, or three dollars. Quiznos. Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm. Toasty. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like doing the guy stuff. Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Woods. I drive fast. I smoke. I'm at the radio on. I'm on my phone. Zienna. I love sharks. And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story. On FM 94.9. Woods, you still haven't smoked? Nope. Not once. It'll be what? Three weeks on Thursday. Have you cheated one time? Not one time. Not a drag. Never once.

34:35Not a sniff, nothing, man. Wow. Okay, when I walked by this lady the other day that was blasting a cig, I did maybe go... Try to breathe it in. Like that, but that was it. Dude, I feel great. How long has it been? It'll be three weeks Thursday. That's great. Amazing. I feel dynamite. Food tastes better. I actually run the bases again. My brother told me when he stopped smoking that he could taste food again. And I was like, you're silly. It's true. Apparently, yeah, it messes with your taste buds. It really does. For as long as you smoked and as much as you smoked, it's amazing. Yeah. You know, and in my mind, I'm never planning to smoke again. It's fantastic. You're not a smoker. I'm not a smoker. You're a non-smoker. I'm a non-smoker. We're having a meet and greet August 13th. The Mikey Show will be out from 5 to 7 at the Tipsy Crow. Nice. Yeah. Come on out and see us. It's on Fifth Avenue. Downtown San Diego. We're going to have specials out there. Mikey Show free app Friday. You get a drink and you get a free select appetizer. Nice. You know what else? You may be able to meet some of the San Diego brewers out there. If you buy your cards right. Holler. That's my men's baseball team. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty big deal. For a lot of people. Will they be signing autographs? If. I mean, maybe. Maybe. Do I have to bring my own ball? Pretty big deal.

35:56The only thing that I think may be an issue with them is they're cool signing autographs. They're cool taking pictures. If you bring jerseys for them to sign. They're a little weirded out by the whole. Is it going right on eBay? Right. Where would one go about getting a San Diego Brewers jersey? That's a good question. I don't even have one. And I've been on the team. You could make one yourself. Make one. Oh, also. Senior Beans is going to be making your dance as well. Did he go? He's coming. If they give us grief, he's going to be in his little bag, but we're going to bring Senior Beans. He's going to be in a purse. I'll run in by them, make sure it's cool, but yeah, Senior Beans would like to come. Towards his little Yorkie. He's a guest of the show, friend of the show. M1 Danny from Oceanside, you there? I'm here. What did you want to say? Hey, good morning, first of all, to all you guys. Good morning. and I wanted to congratulate Woods on not smoking. Thanks, brother. Yeah. Very cool. I stopped drinking. Yesterday was my fourth week not drinking. Nice. Nice. There you go. Yeah, and you know, quitting smoking has pretty much meant that I've quit drinking, too, because the two are really hand-in-hand. They are. I'll tell you, man. So I haven't really had a lot of booze because I didn't want to tempt myself. That's really hard. Yeah. Thank you. Stay strong, brother, and God bless. You too, man.

37:20We're going to find out in Woods on Sports what's going on with first-round draft pick Ryan Matthews. Also, who did the Padres acquire? I want to know about that. Lauren, where did you go to a crab boil? At my friend's house in Oceanside. Really? Yeah. What does that mean? A crab boil. Isn't that where they get a bunch of crab? Do they go in the backyard? Outside? We were in the backyard. Outdoors. Where do we live in Maine? I know. I was like, what? With newspapers down and the little crackers. Yeah. And the whole bit. And then do they put the crabs in a big, giant pot with corn and potatoes? You know all about this? Oh, yeah. Well, I've only seen it, usually they do it in the New England area. Yeah. Well, they usually, they've done this like, this is the fifth year in a row they've done it, and they usually use the Dungeness crabs, which are like the only crabs that you can find on.

38:23The Pacific Coast here. Right. But when they went to get them, they had run out. So they actually got the blue crab, which comes from the Atlantic and the Chesapeake Bay area, which is like, in my opinion, the best crab around. Sure. But I didn't get any crab. Why? Yeah, tell them why. Because it wasn't aggressive enough. Yeah. And all these, like, we got there around like, you know, the party started at 430. The crab didn't come out until almost eight. So everybody was like ravenous. So they dumped all the stuff and everyone was like, and there was just like shells and meat flying everywhere. And by the time I got a grip on what was going on, the crab was gone. I always tell Lauren, I always tell Lauren in terms of being on the air, I'm like, girl. You got to jump in. You got to jump in there. You got to get in there. You got to be aggressive. She missed out on crab at a crab boy. Yeah, that is something that would never happen to the four of us. No, zero percent. Other than Lauren. We'd be like, get it. I didn't get it. Like, I had no idea. Like, there was, like, sausage and corn and onions and potatoes in the middle. And I kept asking questions, and people kept looking at me like I had three heads. Like, I was like, so why is there sausage in the middle of the table? And everyone was like, because it's a crab boil. Idiot. Let me tell you something else. If Woods or myself or Sienna...

39:46didn't get any crab, you know what we would do? Yes. We'd pillage everybody that had crab. I was trying to. I would have pitched a fit. Some people, I was like, would you get the bib? Some people had bibs on, like, that said crab, and I was like, who didn't invite me? Okay, here's, I know the problem. What, Lindsay? She's, you're asking too many questions. You just gotta get in there. You're analyzing stuff. She's like, wait. What is that? What is that? Just eat. Where'd you just go? I didn't know how to do it. Then I got the technique. Somebody showed me her technique. They were like, oh, ask so-and-so. She's got the technique down. So I was peeking over her shoulder watching her technique. And then by the time I found room at the table, there was no more crab to be had. Lauren! Get in there. I am so mad for you right now. I'm upset at the situation. I was upset. I was like, my little niece was there. five-month-old niece, and she was, like, fussing, so I was kind of helping. So by the time I, like, was aware of the fact that the crab had come out, people were like, yes! Your five-month-old niece got crabbed. I know. She was more proactive. I've never seen a bunch of adults look more like a bunch of hyenas. It was like... That's like four hours at a party waiting for food, though. People were ravenous. You know what you don't do?

41:06If you're a guy, a single guy, you don't meet a girl at a crab boil and make out with a... Zero percent. I know. It kind of turned me off, too. Yeah. Guy walks up to you, starts talking, he's got a little tiny... And his mustache... He's got a little tiny piece of white crab meat in his mustache. Doesn't matter how good looking he is, he's talking to you with a little white piece of crab meat stuck in his stache. And Mikey, there was a community-drawn butter. Gross! Oh, boy. I know that people were dipping in. And I was like... It didn't stop me from dipping my bread in it, but... Stinky. Everybody's got stinky breath. Ew, yeah. It's crab breath. Yeah. Oh, gross. Oh, you're saying you don't want to make out with somebody with garlicky, buttery crab breath? With brine. With brine all over their head. Sounds good to me. Let me lick your fingers. They're making out with you, touching the side of your face, and their hand smells like ocean water.

42:01I will never forget as long as I live, when I was in eighth grade, my dad dropped me off at my girlfriend's house. And she had just got done eating a tuna fish sandwich. And I remember making out with her. No. And I was like, oh, no. Scraping my tongue. You probably couldn't eat tuna fish the rest of your life. And I was in eighth grade, so a little MO session was nice, but I was like, wow, this is terrible. This is terrible. This is terrible. The whole time I was making out with it. That's awful. If I make tuna myself, I'm grossed out by myself. I know. I know. If I smell it, I'm like, you disgusting pig. It stinks in here. It's disgusting. I eat it, and it's gross. I know. Oh, my gosh. It's okay if you both eat it. That was so foul. See, even that. I don't believe in the cancel out rule. In fact, I remember. I used to date this girl who when she ate one...

42:59Incy-beensy, microscopic piece of garlic. She stunk to high heaven. That's what my husband would say about me. Really? He says garlic sticks to me like nothing. I can't get rid of it for days. I come home and Kim has been eating onions and garlic and I go, ooh, baby, what are you wearing? Disgusting. I love it. My mom used to, when my dad would come home from work, he would be, I'm not kidding, like four feet away from her, and she would put her hands up in protest and go, you had onions. Like, she could smell it. She could tell. And I have that, too. I can, like, come up to somebody and be like, oh, you had grape juice at 3 o'clock today. I swear. Yeah, but that has, that's more of you being magnum. Well, I'm a bloodhound. You are. Magnum PI and a bloodhound. I am. I should be a detective. 100%. Private investigator. I'm telling you. So, this was good, too. So, Sienna asked somebody to be the baby's... This is a big deal. Yeah. When you're pregnant...

44:00You asked somebody to be the godparent. I happily accepted. Thank you very much. I mean, the way Todd and I talked about it, and I was like, so I guess I choose the godmother and you choose the godfather. Is that how it works? Yeah. I didn't know. I wasn't sure. And I was like, do you wait till the baby's here? And then ask, do you do it before? But one of my best friends, Anne-Marie, every time I see her, you know, she's been the most involved since I've been pregnant. And every time I see her, I feel bad that I haven't asked her. Has she been campaigning? No, she has no idea. She had no idea I was going to ask her. But I was like, how do I even do it? I want to make it special. So I went and got... picture frame engraved and it says I love my godmother on it and I she came over on Saturday and I just gave her the present she was like what's this I was like just a little something like I'm you know so appreciative of what a big help you've been and she opened it and read it and just started bawling and Todd walked in right as she was crying and he was like oh god

44:55And I said, we would love for you to be the baby's godmother. She was like, I will take such good care of that baby. And then I lost it. Yeah, it was really cute. And that's the deal. A godparent means that if anything happened to Todd and Sienna, she would be the mother. So would it be like my brother then? I would probably come really close to my brother. No, because she's the uncle. Well, I'm a godmother. Are you? Yeah, I mean, if that's the person that you would like your children to be, you know, to take care of your children in the event of anything happening to you, that's who you ask to be the godparents of your kid. I mean, she is someone who's been in my life for a long time. Her parents are actually one of my sister's godparents. So it's just we're really close. And I told her, you're going to have to fight my mom for it if the time ever came. She's like, I know, I know. You've got to put it in writing still. I know. Do you put it in writing? Oh, yeah. You got to get a family trust going. We had five kids in my family. My brother was the first and only kid that had friends of the family as godparents. And then the rest of us had aunts and uncles. So he was the one that growing up got the shaft and didn't, like, once my parents weren't really, like, that close and those friends moved out of town. It's like he didn't get the gifts and stuff. And then we got, like, birthday, communion, like, everything, every graduation. I feel short-changed.

46:13Why? I didn't have one. Really? Yeah. I think on the East Coast, Godparent's a big player. Way more so than, I mean, it happens, obviously, out here on the West Coast. But on the East Coast, big player, the godparent thing. Thanks a lot, Mom and Dad. I'll be your godfather. Thanks, dude. I appreciate it. My godparents were the best. They hooked it up big time. Really? I mean, I'm going to be 30 years old and I still get gifts from my godmother. Figures. Me too. Kid gets hosed again. Me too. Gets hosed again. Me too. I didn't have grandparents or godparents or any of that stuff. So, Jay, I got to ask you about camping. Okay. Because Jay went camping, rode bikes, climbed trees, ziplined. Oh, boy. We did a slack line. We did a zipline. What's a slack line? Slack line is you put this webbing between two trees and then you try to balance on it. Webbing. Spider-Man? Yeah. I don't shoot it out of my wrist. That's what I picture.

47:08I picture Spider-Man. Yeah, you can look on the Facebook page. All the kids are hanging. We put a line up above so they can kind of get their balance. But ideally, you can walk across the line without having to hold on to anything. He is 13 years old. Jay, will you be my dad? Seriously. Will you be my godfather? I fell so hard off of it, though. I was trying to balance on it. And we had it too high up right off the bat. And I shot off into the space. I landed on my back. Everybody just stopped and like, oh, old man broke himself. You know, he said that in his recap that he had so much fun. And I was reading his recap and I thought to myself, I think I may need to write a prescription for myself for camping. Yes. You know, because it does sound so fun, so relaxing. Delicious. Delicious. Oh, yeah. Camping food. There's nothing as good as mine. S'mores. Nothing as good. Are you kidding me? S'mores. I still think that we should all go together. And I think it would be freaking hysterical. Because you guys know me. I'm not a camper. My wife is more of a camper than me. Yeah. And me and you out there together. Well, listen. Because I've been camping a lot.

48:16I've been camping a lot. When you were little, though, probably. No, I was a teenager. The first time I ever went camping was as a teenager, and I would go with Eddie's parents who knew what they were doing. Right. I mean, they camped right. You have to go with that family. You got to go with that family. How long has it been? 25 years, though, right? No, no, no. The last time I went camping was in 03. Oh, okay. Now, what I can tell you about it is that it was... I'm imagining it. Me, too. The only reason it wasn't good is because I was in... addiction at the time. So it wasn't good. But now I think I would dig it a lot. It's a lot of work, but the kids love it. Jasper had a smile from ear to ear. He was going, going, going. He took some hard falls off the zip line. I saw one time his body completely stretched. He's about six foot up in the air. And he just dropped on his back. He popped up, I'm okay. Oh, my gosh. That shit is having a blast. Oh, my gosh. It didn't even hurt him. He's like, okay, here we go. Yeah, like we were hanging out with our. I'm okay. I'm okay. We were hanging out with Dan and Whitney this weekend. And Dan did all of our pictures. If you see any Mikey Show pictures of us as a group, Dan Fields, who is in a whole different category of amazing photographer. If you go to MikeyShow.com, there's a link to his thing.

49:37And we do that just because he's amazing. He's awesome. Anyway, her family, Whitney's family, is from Kentucky. And her kids are out there. And she said, Arkansas, sorry, Arkansas. And you know what they're doing right now? Camping. Nope. Her family owns rice fields. And in order to water the rice fields, they dig 1,000 feet deep. A big 1,000 foot deep. until they reach water. And then they put a cap on it and they dig a big hole around it and they open it up and that's what waters the fields. The kids are swimming in that. Oh my gosh. The kids are swimming in all this water that comes up. And the only thing they have to be careful about is water moccasins. Oh my God. Snakes that get into the water. Okay. But the snakes will not bother you if you swim right where the water comes out because it's too cold for the snakes. Oh my gosh. So these kids. Fearless. Are fearless and they're swimming it up in these big giant things that feed all the water. Wow. And do all the deal. And I'm like, oh my goodness, camping. Like that sounds, all of it sounds like fun. You'd have a blast. I think. Yeah. We ate so good. I mean, every meal was. Did you shower at all? I did. I have a solar shower. Of course you do. You fill this bag full of water and you lay it out in the sun and it gets super hot. Hang it up over the tree. Mm-hmm.

51:02It almost gets boiling hot, right? Oh, it was boiling hot. We'll do the trick. Yeah, it was good. M1 Paparazzi is on the line. Hi, Paparazzi. Good morning. Hi. I honestly cannot see you roughing it out there. Well... I think the idea of camping would be showing up with a freaking RV. I'll tell you all I need. I would need my iPad. I would need... What? You're a freak. I can read on it. You don't need your iPad. I need my iPad. No, you don't. In fact, if we go, you're not allowed to bring it. No, really? No, you can't bring it. Oh, my gosh. Maybe not even a cell phone. No cell phones. What? No cell phones. Once you get there, you have to turn it off. Oh, I got to think about it. Yeah, we turned it off. Why do you need it? There was so much going. I mean, there was not enough time to do everything we wanted to do. We need it for safety. Well, you can have it. You can have it. Keep it in your car. No, iPad. Like, we're not going to be all doing fun stuff and you're going to be... Bring a book. Bring a book. What if you get, like, soot on your iPad? If you're nothing else, do it so you don't get it dirty. Oh, wow.

52:19That's a scary proposition. I kind of want to go camping. I do too. Let's all go. As soon as Tina gets that baby out of her. Would you take the baby camping? Yeah. You would? Why not? Let's do it. I'm in. I'm all in. All right. Let's not talk about it. Let's be about it. All right. I'm going to make it happen. You know what? I have an idea. Let's talk about her a lot and never do it. No. Sounds about right. Woodsy had a really special moment this weekend where he was surfing. Saw dolphins. Isn't that the best? I got misty-eyed. The best. It was incredible. And I looked out and I was like, oh, boy, that's a fin. And I didn't freak because I saw another one right behind it. And then I saw him jumping. I was like, I don't see that in Texas. Yeah. That is for sure. That's the one thing. It would have scared the heck out of me because I immediately thought it was a chomper. No, the sharks won't be at the surface like that. I was with Winder and Winder goes, my buddy Winder, and he goes, hey, dude, whenever you see dolphins, you're safe. Yeah. And I was like. Wow, I feel really safe. Yeah. I was shuffling like crazy, though. Good. No stingrays. No stingrays. Knock wood. Good. Big stuff happening in sports. Woods! Woods! Woods! Woods on Sports is supported by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, it is official. He's here. He's done. Ryan Matthews. He is a charm. Yes! Kudos to AJ Smith. He got the deal done.

53:51Guarantee of $15 million. It could pay him $25.65 million over five years. Wow. What a load off. Just so glad he can. What a load off. Oh, yeah. And once I saw the guy above him and the guy below him sign, I knew we were going to get it done. So here's Ryan on what's expected of him. Cut one. You know, out of myself, I'm just here to help the team win. You know, that's the number one thing while they're drafting me is come in here and help the team win. And that's all I really can say. You know, I think my role on the team is, you know, just to run the ball and, you know, just help, like I said, help the team do what it can to get to that last game of the year. Wow. There's a picture of Ryan Matthews in the UT. I just had to go grab it to show L.O.B. Maybe make that right. Yeah. Maybe you make that right. L.O.B. likes the African-American dudes. He is a good-looking guy. Now, I don't know if you could hear it in that clip, but there was an animated dragon. Yes. With his tail around. You don't know myself. I'm just... Oh, my God. Watch out. Wow. Whipping that tail around all over the place during that press conference. It's really scary. And also, Jed Hoyer has done a great job. You know, the Padres made a move for Miguel Tejada. That move hasn't really paid off yet, but it will. He's, you know, getting more comfortable to his surroundings. And they also made a move that I woke up and surprised me. I was like, what a...

55:17Great move that was. They got Ryan Ludwig from the Cardinals, who is a great, great corner outfielder. That one paid off already. He came off the bench. He pinch hit off of Josh Johnson, got a single, then scored a key run in the 5-4 win over the Marlins. Unfortunately, they did lose two out of three, but again, this team doesn't get swept, man. They came back and they beat the Marlins' ace. Here's Ludwig on his new squad, cut two. You know, to be able to come up to the plate and the crowd was behind me. And like you said, to be able to contribute in that first at bat and, you know, score a run. I'll never forget, you know, I slid across home plate and I had guys standing right there pumping their fist, fired up. The Padres went and got another guy. It's this guy. And Woodsy, you say he's good. He's a great player, man. You look at him, he looks like a Padre. He fits here. He really does. It's awesome. So they are off to L.A. for a four-game set against the Dodgers. The Dodgers were just swept by the Giants. Still, man, anytime you play L.A., it's going to be big. Also, number one pick Sam Bradford has signed a monster contract. Never heard anything like it. Monster contract. The NFL. Six years. 78 million. Oh.

56:22$50 million guaranteed. Oh, my gosh. Guaranteed. And that's a dude with a bum shoulder, man. He didn't play a lot last year, so they obviously think he's healthy. Here he is on being relieved that it's over. Cut for it. You have absolutely no idea. I mean, it's probably been the biggest relief since draft night knowing where I'm going to get to play. And then to have the contract done, I just felt like there was a huge weight off my shoulders that whole night. Yeah, and there's $50 million in your bank account. Yeah, that's what happened to me. $50 million. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And then finally, Greg Biffle won for the first time in two years. He won the Sunoco Red Cross Pennsylvania 500 at Pocono. He, like I said, hadn't won since September of 2008. Here he is on Keeping the Faith, Cut 5. I never doubted myself whether I had the ability to win at this level. I guess sometimes you can start doing that, but I never did. I just was frustrated. that we haven't capitalized on some of the opportunities we've had. I knew that I hadn't given up faith that we'd be able to get back in victory lane. It's a weird racetrack, man. It's shaped like a clothes hanger or a triangle. Oh, really? Oh, is that the Sunoco emblem? It's the way Pocono is shaped. It's the way Pocono is shaped. It's just sponsored by Sunoco. But the track itself is shaped like a triangle or a clothes hanger.

57:47So you go really, really, really fast. And then you have to slam the brakes on to go around the corner. Yeah. But they're going like 200 miles an hour and wrecking at 200 miles an hour. It's exciting. Yep. So anyway. That's what's on sports. Now, we have for you some panel discussions that we're going to be going over. When we come back next, there's big things happening. If you didn't hear before, by the way, Lindsay Lohan out of jail. She was released at 1 o'clock in the morning and went directly to whatever rehab she's going to. Woodsy just talked about how our first-round draft pick, Ryan Matthews, is signed and in camp. That's good news. We have some panel discussions about Al Gore. You know what happened with Al Gore with his sexual assault thing. If you don't, we'll tell you. Amazon's big announcement. And there's also a debate over when we retire. Making big news today. All of it coming up. Finally something worth talking about with the Mel Gibson thing because Oksana Grigoryeva. Yes, Grigoryeva. Finally saying some things in her own words is talking and saying and answering the questions that are coming. So that's all next. Hang in.

59:27Don't miss LCD Sound System October 13th. It's on sale August 6th at 10 a.m. at the Remak Arena box office. Ticketmaster.com or by phone at 800-745-3000. Too many tries. LCD Sound System with Hot Chef. Produced by AEG Live. Fridays, the official kickoff to the weekend and the coolest concert series around. Four o'clock Fridays, presented by Jack Daniels at the Del Mar Racetrack, are back with free concerts all season long. This Friday... Shake it up with a pulsating groove of the B-52s. The B-52s, live at the Del Mar Racetrack this Friday, August 6th. Free with racetrack admission or $20 after the last race. Del Mar, cool as ever. New Homes Now. It's Lenar's New Homes Now Sell-A-Thon. We're offering new reduced pricing at our Sky Ranch communities in Santee, located off the 67 freeway at Prospect. Lenar Townhomes at Sky Ranch start in the upper 200,000s and single-family homes start in the upper 400,000s.

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1:04:56This report, it is brought to you by REMAX. Start your search for the perfect home at REMAX.com. You can see all the listings in thousands of cities and towns. Visit REMAX.com today. Nobody sells more real estate than REMAX. Outstanding agents, outstanding results. The 125 southbound after Grossmont Boulevard, an unidentified object between the number two and three lanes. That's always scary, but whatever it is, be careful. It's big. On the five northbound at the 163, we've got a bag of cement in the number three lane. Cars are hitting it. Powder is flying everywhere. South Mission Road at Ammunition Road, an accident, a Karnan SUV has things tied up in that area. This report, it's brought to you by Discovery Channel. Shark Week is back, and it's the most wonderful time of the year. So enjoy a good scare, America. You're welcome. Happy Shark Week, starting at 9. Tonight, Eastern Pacific on Discovery. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZD, San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better. with women than I do with men. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Sienna. I'm an expert golfer. I bet. And Jay. If it's broken, there's a 99% chance that I can fix it. On FM 94.9. Judy. Judy Douche. But, I mean, it looks like Judy Douche. We said, your name's Judy Douche. She said it's pronounced Douche. She goes by Eskimo Blue Waters. Where the hell did you come up with a name like Eskimo Blue Waters? Well, she must have thought that that sounded so

1:06:48So cool and, you know, sort of, you know, show business-y. There's a lot of ground-up Parliament cigarettes out in the hallway, by the way. Yeah, but none of them have really been inhaled. I think she was eating beef jerky when I got here. It was like 4 a.m. Yeah, I'm sure she was. It's like, what are you doing? I think she's on a tight budget. It's probably all she can afford. Yeah, I think she is, too. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Lauren O'Brien, that's Sienna, and that's Jay in the next studio. So, Oksana Gregorieva. Yes. Very good. Mel Gibson's, I don't even know that they were married, right? No, they were just dating. Baby mama. Yeah, baby's mama. Got asked, so why did you make the tapes? Because I didn't think I'm going to make it through the night. Really? So, yeah. And everything, by the way, okay, this is really important. All the tapes that you hear on the internet, all of them recorded that one night. The tapes, so you call them, and the voicemails, everything was recorded that night because I was in fear for my life that night. I really didn't think I'm going to make it. So it was all recorded the same night, even though it's taken eight weeks for us to hear about it. Yep.

1:08:16If she was in fear for her life that night, like she said, why did they come out later? Did she give them to people that night? I mean, I don't. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, how is that going to save her that night? I don't think it would have saved her that night, but it would have been like, all right, you need a suspect. There's your suspect. You know what I mean? I sent it on the email. I sent the what you call the tape. Yeah. I sent to a detective. Oksana. Yes. But you've said you didn't tape him. I was privy to the tape. Okay, so now you're saying. I was privy. Now you're saying you were privy to the tape. Yes. Don't say privy. I knew. It's very important. I knew about the tape. You knew about it. You didn't do it. I still, I don't know who recorded, but I fear for my life and I get on the Twitter. You get on the Twitter. And I tweet, I'm so scared. And some nice man just record from somewhere. I don't know.

1:09:26It's been reported that you think that the Lucky Charms leprechaun may have even been the one. It's possible, sister. You're saying it's possible. I don't think she's ruling anybody out at this point. Anything possible. I said before, maybe you, Mike. Maybe even I did. You have a microphone and you have recording equipment and you like to stir up controversy. So you say you're not going to rule me out. I will not. Where were you on that night, by the way, Mike? Exactly. I was where I am. every Tuesday night, in bed, asleep by six. The word is some man, maybe from a pod, makes these recordings. I pretend that I sleep in a pod to fall asleep, but that doesn't necessarily mean... Yes, it's as weird as you think. Yes, it is. It sounds very much like pod background. Yeah, it could be, but I don't think it is. I think it's you that taped them, period. I don't think you've been through Russia. Okay, I have not. What do you think, or excuse me, Oksana, what do you hope happens out of all of this stuff? I'm just looking out for the interest of my daughter. I'm really sorry. I have to go. Oh, my God. My goodness. It sounds just like her. It really sounds just like her. She was about to launch into it. I know. Wow. What would you say, Oksana, to Mel if you could say something to Mel?

1:10:56Gosh, speak the truth. Tell the truth for the sake of your daughter. Stay away from bald man. Is anyone else really annoyed by her? Yeah, I think she's starting to reach that point. And it's really not funny because... She's really dealing with something serious. Yes. But it's become some sort of circus. Sideshow. Who doesn't call the police? I mean, you're scared. How do I tape this? I told you I called the detective man. His name is Pink Panther. You called the Pink Panther. Yes. How are we supposed to believe anything you say? In my country, you go to the websites. You go to the websites. The www. And you look up detective and I find Pink Panther first sponsored link. So you Googled. You Googled detective. What are you supposed to do? What you do is maybe you go to the police yourself.

1:11:57You don't Google. And certainly if you see something that says the Pink Panther, don't call that. I thought it was very clever. In my country, you cannot trust police. Okay. That's a good point. Apparently you can trust Steve Martin playing the Pink Panther. Inspector Gadget, man. Inspector Gadget. So you call next. The panel is myself, Woods, and Lauren O'Brien. And we talk about what's the big news of the day. And we get our opinions on it. And it's like the show Around the Horn. We don't get long to give our opinion. We get about 20 seconds before this little bell goes off. Al Gore, what's the latest, Sienna? Al Gore has been cleared of the sex assault allegations. Now, in case you didn't know, back in 2006, there was a massage therapist that she said that Al Gore groped and assaulted her in an Oregon hotel room back in 2006. This has been an ongoing thing.

1:12:55The Multnomah County District Attorney, I guess that's in Oregon, announced on Friday that the case was closed, citing, quote, contradictory evidence, conflicting witness statements, credibility issues, lack of forensic evidence, and denials by Mr. Gore. All right, so here's my question for the panel. Woods, when we hear something as a culture, are we really quick to go, you are guilty? Absolutely, man. And that's, you know, unfortunately, it's really switched in the justice system. justice system from innocent until proven guilty. Now, these days, without question, it's guilty until proven innocent, and that's unfortunate. L.O.B., what do you think? I agree, and it's kind of like, Woodsy had said something about this off the air the other day. When you're in court and an attorney will bring up something that they know is going to be admissible, and they say something just to kind of... You have to strike it from the record, but the jury hears it. So it's kind of like with Al Gore's image, it's a little bit tarnished, even though he's being acquitted. I agree. Yep. I also believe that it says more about me and the condition of my heart, the way that I react to any news. If my instant reaction is that person is a scumbag and they are guilty, I believe it says more about the condition of my heart.

1:14:20than it does about their guilt or innocence. I'll tell you what, man. I learned my lesson. The Duke lacrosse case is what got me the worst. I was like those rich little spoiled scumbags, man, taking advantage. Dude, I was like, holy crap. I stand corrected. And I've been trying not to do it since. The one thing that I will say that I think is really cool, Woodsy is quick to go, man, I was wrong. Yeah, I'm wrong a lot. I was wrong. I am wrong a lot. And I think that's really cool. Okay, what do you think about this? You may not even know what a Kindle is. When I was on vacation back in April, I saw a lot of people out at the pool with a Kindle, okay? Kindle was created by Amazon.com. It's Barbie's husband, right? No, that's Kendal, but they sound very similar. They do sound similar. Kendal and Kindle, different things. Kindle was created by Amazon. What is it? It's an iPod for books. Well, Amazon has just unveiled the long-awaited, is it? Kindle 3. And, yeah, you just read books on it. That's what it's for. So it's... Is it long-awaited? Not in her house. Like, they make it like this big thing. I'm like, there's a Kindle 2? I love it.

1:15:46Well, they're saying that they're slashing the price way down to $139, which is really good. The Kindle 3 still has the same 6-inch screen as the previous generations, but it is smaller, it's lighter, turns pages faster, has a longer battery life, holds more memory, and includes more software features. Woods, you have talked about how you love the experience of reading books. Now, I don't know that I've ever heard you talk about loving the experience of, you know, you've talked about CDs, like you like getting a brand new CD, open it up, smelling the liner notes, taking the liner notes out, seeing the pictures that they've taken of the band, seeing who they're dedicating their songs to, all that business. So will you do the same with books? Do you feel the same way about books? Do you have to have them in your hand or do you care? You know, I do care, and as I just said, I'm in. $140, it's a pretty good price. But, like, my thing is I get books from people. Like, Mikey recommended a book. I read it. You know, Lauren gave me a book for my birthday. It's right by the throne. I read it every day. You know what I mean? So I kind of like to have it in my hand. And, you know, the thought of going and downloading them just kind of weirds me out a little. L-O-B?

1:17:02I don't think it'll totally replace it because there is something about having that book and browsing through something, you know, when you're just like a coffee table book or whatever. But I think for people that go on business trips a lot, it's less of a beating, especially if you're going to be gone for a couple of weeks. Yeah. To have everything kind of condensed. So, but I didn't know it was made by Amazon. I don't know if I trust that. Amazon made it. Yeah. They invented it, made it the whole deal. It's not exactly their forte. Well, here's the thing. I have a Kindle, weird. And I was so excited about it when I first got it. First of all, it's only in black and white. And it's hard to flip through and find your place in it. iPad has their version and it's called iBooks and it's on the iPad. Well, guess what? It's full color. It's easy to navigate, weird. And it's beautiful and it does everything that the Kindle does. but it does it better. The only problem is that a Kindle device now is $100 and some bucks, and an iPad costs about $500. But iPad does it better. Well, you have Apple that's been doing electronics for decades. Amazon specializes in, you know, like a website. Selling stuff. Maybe you just give me your Kindle. I will. Seriously. I want to try it. I want to see if I can do it.

1:18:27Yeah, I mean, you definitely could. I want to see a lot of people using it. The thing that sounds the best to me about it is that you get rid of so much clutter. Books take up so much room. I love that. I like books around the house. I like them around the house. They are a beating to travel with. Oh, to pack and move and travel. It's a huge thing. It's one of those things that you're like, you never want to throw them away, but it's like, am I ever going to read this again? Am I? Yeah, I do. I don't. Well, I don't really read it anyway. On the Kindle device, you have to press a button to turn the page. With the iPad, you just flick your finger and scroll through the pages. You can go anywhere you want to. So what's the new deal with your retirement age? Well, first of all, do you guys even know what the retirement age is right now? Sixty-three. Sixty-two. Sixty-six. What? Wow. Yeah, it was 65. The age was 65 a decade ago. Now the so-called normal retirement age is 66. And it's scheduled to increase by two months a year starting in 2017. So that way it would reach 67 years old in 2022. So it's just going up and up and up. And people are saying that, you know, is because many budget and debt experts recommend, you know.

1:19:45I don't know. They're saying people are living longer, basically. And so once you retire, the Social Security is, they're spending a lot more money because people are alive longer now. We are living longer. That isn't BS. That's not the part that I believe that is BS. Part I believe that is BS is that it's about money. Yeah. We don't want to pay it. But they want to raise it to about 70 as the retirement age. They want to really get it up there. And opponents of raising... Can you imagine some dude or some woman working at 69 years old having to work? I mean, how awful do you feel when you're at the grocery store and there's some... Very old person bagging your groceries and they ask if they can help you out. You're like, no, no, no, I got it. I got it. I'm like nine months pregnant. I will do it. Oh, my gosh. You know, but opponents are saying, look, people may be living longer now, but they're also working a lot longer. They're starting younger. They're producing more and paying more into their Social Security than any earlier generations used to do. So you have to look at both sides. But there's, you know, people are gung ho about making it about 70 years old in the next few years. If we were the president and we could make the decision and we.

1:20:44could do whatever we want woods what would you set the new retirement age at you know man i've always uh subscribed to the the theory that you you work as long as you want you know as long as you you can and and i could retire you know i couldn't retire but if i did retire i'd lose my mind you would i want to work i like working well i'm looking for minimum retirement age where you start getting money from the government 65 65 yeah lob I like keeping it at 65. I've been working since I was 15. Yep. So to think that I have to, I'd be working and not just like, you know, working part time, working full time for 55 years. That's crazy. That's a deal. It's crazy. See, I kind of, I kind of feel like if you've, you've been contributing to society for that long. I'm fine with you getting benefits from the government at 63. Yeah, sure. Personally, I'm like, man, you worked. Thanks a lot. 23 years for you, pal. That's right. Sit back. Go to a golf club or something. Let me tell you, man, I think I could get real used to retirement. Oh, yeah. Do work around the house. Make your yard look nice. I'd lose my mind. I mean, I know a lot of people that are in retirement, they lose their mind, but they can then work on a part-time level, working full-time.

1:22:09Especially what we're expected as Americans, what's considered full-time. It depends on what you do also for a living. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. I'll do this when I'm 65. What's on sports? We've said before that the job that we do here on the air isn't really working. It's pretty fun. The thing is about this job, at least for me, because the show has such high ratings, I've said this a million times. What's harder, getting to where we are or staying at where we are? No question. Staying. Staying. Yeah, no question. The hardest deal. It's a constant reinvention. It's stressful. It's a constant reinvention. It's constant. Plus, so much of it is built into me of I want to be liked. Yeah. Yeah. I so badly have it built into me that I want to be liked. And every person that's listening, I just want you to like me. actors in a way, but we're playing ourselves. Right. So, like, you can hate a character on a show, but they, like, if Blisters don't like you, they don't like you, you know, which is hard. It's tough to swallow, but it's inevitable. You're not going to please everybody. Everybody's got a different brand of comedy. That's what I tell myself every single day, man. If somebody calls in something I do into question, I'm like, alright, man. You'll never win. I mean, never. M1 Diesel from Ramona. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What did you want to say?

1:23:38Hey, I do want to say that about the whole retirement thing. Uh-huh. And there's a big difference. I mean, I'm a diesel mechanic. There's a big difference between a guy like me in the field working with his body at 60, 65 years old. Sure. In the office. Sure. I agree with you. I can't imagine doing what I'm doing at 69 years old. No doubt, man. So tell me, Diesel, as a guy that does work, I mean, you work. Man's work. Man's work. What do you think would be the fair retirement age for what you do? For what I do, probably about 55 because we are beat up. I bet you're right. I bet you're right. It becomes a physical impossibility at a certain age. I mean, you have to pick up a 20-pound sledgehammer and swing it hard to candy. That's true. They should be based on what you do. What you do. Remind me never to complain again. Yeah, you know what? If they based on what we do, they'd be like, well, you guys can't retire. You're 106. You're going to be in there. Well, last night the Padres won. If you can talk, you're working. I know. Sally. We are. Not sure if you are aware of this, but there is a representative in the United States of America named Anthony Weiner. Really? Weiner. I know. Woods is looking at me right now like, what am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do, pal? What do I do with that? It's Weiner.

1:24:54All right. Does he call himself Wiener? Is it Wiener? It really is Wiener. It's Wiener. He lost it on the house floor. Lost his mind. His Wiener? Not his mind. No, I just said his mind. Oh, I'm sorry. He could be Brad Pitt. I would not marry someone's last name. You don't want to be single Wiener? How do you do that to your children? I know. I'd be Mrs. Wiener. You would be Mrs. Wiener? Yeah. You'd be proud of that? I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Wiener. Everyone in the church would be like... I would go... What do you do when you're... What do you do, L.O.B., when you're OBGYN? And the doctor comes out into the... Or the nurse comes out into the lobby and says, Lauren Wiener? Everyone loves us. Lauren Wiener. And Lauren goes... That's me. The girl who had to call your name went up to three people she worked with. Is this Wiener? What do I say? As a matter of fact, if they said Wiener, I'd go, oh, no, no, no. It's Wiener. It's Wiener. Is Lauren Wiener here? No, it's Wiener. Actually, it's Wiener. As a stand-up comedian, I'm constantly looking for a shtick. I'll take it. When we come back, you get to hear the audio of Wiener freaking out.

1:26:10Freaked out on the house floor, you get to hear it. It's next. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Scion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wig. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the Capitol 94.9 stage.

1:27:13The Silent Comedy, The Nervous Records, The Burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets for $30 today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at fm949sd.com or independencejam.com. Eight bands at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Honest Tea. Rolling Stone says My Morning Jacket is fast becoming one of the premier live bands on the planet. Special Evening with your guest, Avi Buffalo. You are so hard to read. I am. I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. It's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are blue on the labels. No guessing.

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1:32:25And they are. OvationHere.com. Introducing Quick Deposit from Chase. Now you can deposit checks into your Chase account from anywhere, anytime, safely and securely. All you need is the Chase Mobile app on your iPhone. Just download the free app at the App Store and enroll in Chase online. Then use the Chase Mobile app on your iPhone to photograph both sides of an endorsed check and then hit Send. It is that easy. Now you can avoid hoarding crumpled up checks in your wallet as you wait to make that trip to the bank or ATM. Quick Deposit lets you deposit those checks at your convenience. It is safe and it is secure. You get immediate confirmation that your pictures are successfully uploaded. They'll be posted to your account once they're verified. So why not have a photo session with your personal checks? Saying cheese sure beats going all the way to the bank and back. And because you can deposit these checks whenever you like, anytime, day or night, Quick Deposit gives you more control to stay on top of your finances. It's a whole new level of convenience from Chase. Chase what matters. Visit chase.com slash quick deposit for more information. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning. Brought to you by the good folks at Guayaquil. Great way to start your day and continue it throughout the day. Guayaquil, drink of choice. Surf-wise today, looking at the other side of that southwest pretty swell. Pretty much peaked out yesterday, but still holding through till today as well.

1:34:18Looking at knee to waist-high, occasional chest-high surf on average, standout spots, still seeing those elusive shoulder-high sets with maybe a plus on top of that. Overcast skies will greet you, but relatively thin. Looks like it might burn off to quicker sunshine. There is a bit of early north wind on it, though, so that is affecting surface textures in some areas. Reef breaks looking a little bit better at those south-facing areas, and they should improve more at the lower tide later this morning. Beach breaks fit walls up and sectioning with a light texture on them, too. Nonetheless, still fairly rideable conditions. considering what we haven't had this summer, so you might as well take advantage of it. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for everything you need in order to go surf, check out when a South Coast surf shops five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. The surf report is brought to you by Guayaquil, and it can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This report is brought to you by Discovery Channel. Shark Week is back and it's the most wonderful time of the year. So enjoy a good scare, America. You're welcome. Happy Shark Week.

1:35:25Starting tonight at 9, Eastern Pacific on Discovery. The 94 westbound before 28th Street, we've got a tire in the number 2 lane. A car's in the center divider that probably lost that tire. The 125 southbound after Grossmont Boulevard, we've got something in the middle of the number 2 and 3 lanes. And as you head to National City on the 5 southbound between 8th Street and 54, kind of slow this morning. This report is brought to you by Hohen Audi Carlsbad. If you've been thinking about a new Audi, stop by Hohen Audi. Carlsbad, drive home a deal today. Hohen, Audie Carlsbad, part of the Hohen family of dealerships. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Woods. Don't go to the doctor. It's in my family. We don't go to the doctor. Zienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. I was the guy most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Say it. Say it exactly how you just said it, Woods. I go, everyone looked at me like, did you really pick Gwen Stefani? I go, Jamie loves it. I love it, too. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, she's done it. Chelsea Clinton is a married woman. She married her longtime boyfriend, Mark Mazvinsky. Lucky guy. In New York at the Astor Courts, 50-acre estate. What? And she wore a Vera Wang gown, of course. So did I. Just gorgeous.

1:37:08Also, our local firefighters, about 235 of them are headed north to Kern County where the fires have been. So they're there helping. But both of the fires are in the 80 percentile of being contained. So making progress. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Stuart Appleby shot a 59 yesterday to win the Greenbrier Classic. That's the second 59 we've seen this year, and I think the fifth. in PGA Tour history, maybe the 7th. No, it was another dude shot a 60. Yeah. You were saying, imagine shooting a 60, some guy shoots a 59. And also the San Diego Brewers had a huge, huge win yesterday. That's my baseball team. That's his men's league baseball team. We beat the team that knocked us out of the playoffs, and your boy here had probably the game of his life. I knocked in four runs, turned a clutch double play. It was a team win. You know what he told me during commercial break? What? Sienna, I played so good yesterday that I almost interviewed myself. Yeah, I was going to interview myself. Oh, my. I ran out of time, though. Well, we won by four, and I knocked in four. I was very happy. Wow. We're going to play you the audio of Representative Wiener. My future hubby. Lauren's future hubby.

1:38:31We're going to play you the audio of him freaking out on the house floor. And it's a monumental meld on. It is. Monumental meld on. You don't want to hear Wieners freak out. Or do you? What was the number one movie at the box office? Well, in my mind, it was Charlie St. Cloud, the Zac Efron movie. Did you go? You said you were going to go. No one would go with me. I wonder why. And I couldn't bring myself to go alone for that movie. Zac Efron wouldn't have gone with you. Yeah. He's like, no, I'm not watching that. Because I don't want to see that. He would have gone with me. He would have held my hand. Well, the number one movie was Inception for the third weekend in a row. I got to see it. I know, with Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm over it. Stop saying that. You're only doing it to get on me, aren't you? The hype is so big. I'm out. I'm out. It's a new Titanic. I'm out, dude. Stop it. I'm in. Let me tell you. I'm into it so much that I downloaded the soundtrack. Did you? Is this it? Maybe we're listening to it. It's like scary music. Is it a score or is it a soundtrack? Dude, you like scores? He loves scores.

1:39:35He wants to be a director. Yeah, I want to be a director. This is Mikey as he's falling asleep in his pod just listening to this. Do you use your two fingers and pretend like you're conducting an orchestra when you listen to this? I do not. I do not. Why do you have a conductor's baton in your office then? That's a good question. It's a fair question. It's a fair question. What does a person need to be doing in order to listen to a score in an appropriate time? I will say this. Last night. Last night, I listened to it, and I spoke along to it in movie voice. Were you alone? I was alone. For example? I'm sharing something very, very personal that's embarrassing. For example? I really... Oh, wow. This is deep. I pretend I'm in the movie. Right. We're not really dreaming. Wow. Sometimes, when we're dreaming, we realize who we are. Unbelievable. Sometimes, when we're dreaming... Loser. Yeah. Dark. Dark. Whoa. What was that? Sometimes we can't separate reality from the dream. You see, I specialize in a very specific type of security. Weirdo. Do you look in the mirror when you do this? You're a weirdo. You see, there's a type of security called extraction, but what I deal in is quite different. Wow. That's a good score, though. It sounds cool. Yeah.

1:41:19That's great. As you're doing this alone naked in your room, are you looking in the mirror? Are you sitting on the bed? No, I'm playing a laptop that's sitting on my underweared pelvis. And you have headphones on, no doubt. Headphones on and laptop. What if Rebecca walked in? I would stop. But you didn't know because your headphones were on and you didn't hear her walk in. I could see her peripherally and I would stop. The only reason I can tell you that is because it's happening. You know, most married men with a laptop in their room get caught doing something else. Mikey is doing movie voice to the score of Inception. She's like, oh, few. Don't we all? We do not. We don't all do that, do we? No, we don't. Small percentage of the population. Maybe we think it's a small percentage, but in reality... It's a large percentage. I can't even do movie voice. It's weird. 5701-949 is our number. Or you can text us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. We're about to play the audio from Representative Wiener freaking out. And M1Biana from Point Loma, are you there? Yes, I'm here. You work for a doctor. Yeah, well, I work at a hospital. But in the hospital, there's a doctor named Dr. Wiener. Dr. Wiener.

1:42:47Is he single? Is he single? LLB wants to know. Oh, you know, I could look into it. Yeah. I'm not quite sure. I'm going to get married strictly for the bits. Yeah. Good material. She would do it simply for the humor's sake. She would be Lauren Wiener. I have to tell you, every time I hear his name called overhead, Dr. Wiener, please call 7370. Of course. You can't not. I would really want to be friends with someone whose last name is Wiener because you'd always have a good time. Every time. Wiener! Easy, Wiener. What up, Wiener? Maybe he's an oral surgeon. Is there any chance? And you're being inappropriate. For sure. He's probably a urologist. Urologist. Really, a urethrologist? A neurosurgeon. Is there any chance? Any chance that in college they didn't call him Wiener. Zero, right? There's 0% chance that in college there was even one person that called him Brad. Was he maybe A, Wiener Dog, or B, Wiener Schnitzel? He was Wiener Dog or Wiener Schnitzel, or just Wiener. I could see his voice. Wiener, give me a beer. What about Wieny? Wiener is so funny. Wieny's funny. Here's Representative Anthony Wiener on the house floor, flipping.

1:44:11Out. Mr. Speaker, I yield one minute to the distinguished gentleman from New York, Mr. Wiener. You heard that? Oh, yeah. You said it real fast. He's the distinguished gentleman from New York, Mr. Wiener. Mr. Speaker, I yield one minute to the distinguished gentleman from New York, Mr. Wiener. Great courage until all members have already spoken and then stand up and wrap your arms around procedure. We see it in the United States Senate every single day where members say, we want amendments, we want debate, we want amendment, but we're still a no. Heard Senator. And then we stand up and say, oh, if only we had a different process, we'd vote yes. You vote yes if you believe yes. You vote in favor of something. You believe it's the right thing. If you believe it's the wrong thing, you vote no. We are following a procedure. I will not yield to the gentleman. And the gentleman will observe regular order. He is not saying Chinaman. It sounds like he's saying Chinaman. He is not saying Chinaman. He is not saying Chinaman. He is not saying. He's saying gentlemen.

1:45:09Sit down, Wiener. If he gets up and yells, if he's going to intimidate people into believing he's right, he is wrong. The gentleman is wrong. Holy cow. I'm like fired up. I feel like Braveheart right now. This one outraged Wiener. That's right. Wiener must have just really got made fun of a few minutes before that. What happens when Wiener gets home and his wife goes, how's work, hon? I'll come out here and rough talk to him and run him off. He's providing cover for his colleagues. Rather than doing the right thing. Uh-oh. He got to that point. Calm down, wiener. It's that point in your voice where you go, oh, embarrassed of that. Then you bring it back down again and you keep going and then you go, oh, embarrassed of that one too. It's Republicans wrapping their arms around Republicans rather than doing the right thing on behalf of the heroes. It is a shame. A shame. Wiener. Is it a shame? That's one angry wiener. Angriest wiener of her all morning. If you believe this is a bad idea to provide health care, then vote no. But don't give me the cowardly view. So many things I want to say right now, and I just can't. Yeah, I know. Me too. I'm just biting my tongue in half. You know that. There's so many good things. Just skip over the wiener. A lot of double entendres. Yes. It's filthy stuff. There's kids listening. Sit down, wiener. Don't get your panties in a wad, wiener. You don't want to even know.

1:46:33And oh, if it was a different procedure, the gentleman will observe regular order and sit down. Oh, wow. Maybe you sit down, Wiener. Maybe zip it, pal. Maybe we're all... Zip that Wiener. Zip that Wiener, dude. Maybe we're all children and grown-up bodies. 100%. He's doing a tantrum. Yeah. He is pitching anything. It's like me when there's nothing to eat. Yes. Exactly what I do. The gentleman will sit. The gentleman is correct in sitting. I will not. This is quite obviously not in order. The gentleman will suspend. I will not stand here. The gentleman is recognized. And listen to me. What's with the gentleman? That's why you talk about people? That's what they're called. If you were a representative, you'd be the gentle lady from New Jersey. Really? Yeah.

1:47:26My colleagues say, oh, if only I had a different procedure that allows us to stall, stall, stall, and then vote no. Instead of standing up and defending your colleagues and voting no on this humane bill, you should urge them to vote yes, something the gentleman has not. Wiener will taste you. Wiener, I mean, really, dude. I can't believe no one stopped him and been like, excuse me, Wiener. Shut your mouth. Decaffeinated coffee, and I'm not kidding with you. Yeah. The caffeinated coffee. No more meth before we go into procedures. Is that the stuff they show in like C-SPAN? Yeah. I feel like people freak out all the time. Not like that. No, but I mean like people get like pretty like heated on that floor. I'd be dead asleep. Yeah, they do. If I was in there dead asleep. Until they announced that guy's name. Yeah. Mr. Ween would be like, oh. Awake. Did somebody just say Mr. Weiner? Did somebody say Weiner? Are you guys doing a bit? Do I have drool on my face? Yeah. Did I just dream somebody said to represent Weiner? Who's playing a prank? M1 Molly from Escondido. Yo. What's your dentist name? His name is Dr. Beavers. Dr. Beavers. Good thing he's a dentist. Yeah, he hasn't taken any heat for that, has he? I'm serious. Like, for me, he doesn't have beaver teeth.

1:48:45Yeah. Well, I told you guys about the doctor that I called, and I've said it 100 times in the air, and I'll always say it because it was the greatest day of my life. San Francisco, right? I was cold calling doctors, and there was a Dr. Thin Dong in San Francisco. I almost fell out of my chair. And you had to ask for him, right? Yes. They answered the phone and said, Dr. Dong's office. And I had to ask for Dr. Dong. Dr. Dong. Percentage of chance that Woodsy didn't just ask for Dr. Dong, but in fact. Asked for Dr. Finn Dong. I would say 105%. Is there more than 100%? Chances that I then emailed that number to every person that I worked with and had them call as well. 100%. Dr. Dong. Dr. Finn Dong. It's a rough upbringing in the United States of America. I can see your face as you read that for the first time. Oh my gosh. That's gold. Absolutely. M1 Vanessa from Kearney Mesa. Good morning, guys. Good morning. I have a guy that I work with. His first name is Landon, and his last name is Dick. Oh, that's tough. Oh, wow. That's a rough one. We call him Landon Dick all the time. Oh, wow. Of course. I mean, his name is Landon. That's cool. Oh, man, to have that last name is rough. I know. His dad's like, yeah. And he looks like a knockoff Brad Pitt. Oh, really? That's a bad. Probably didn't have such a hard time.

1:50:09I call him all the time, and I always mistakenly say, Landon, do you need this at the other thing? And he's like, is this Vanessa again? Yeah. Hey, Vanessa, I'm going to tell you right now. I do not look like a knockoff Brad Pitt. I'm just going to let you know right now. I know it. All right. Thank you, Vanessa. Wait, wait, wait. Tell Woodsy, does he like his sign I made? What's he? Did you make the get sign? I did. Oh, it is my favorite. It's in our office. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much. It's amazing. Love you guys. Love you, Vanessa. It's M1 Vanessa. Little angel. Let's see. You guys want to play Name That Tune? Let's play. Let's play Name That Tune. Call us right now. 570-1949. Hopefully it's TV shows from the 70s again so Mikey can school us all. I love it. I hope it is, but it's not. No, it's not. Oh, good. It's Harps. Heart music. Oh, wow. But it's all done to, like, pop songs. Wow. Holy cow. Nicely done, Jay. Well done, my friend. That's the raddest thing I've ever heard. Well done, my friend. We'll wait until you hear it, and then we'll see what you think. That's the raddest thing I've ever heard. We've got tickets to see Spoon for our winner. All right, cool. 570-1949. And then when we come back, Eskimo Blue Waters is furious. Furious. She was supposed to be on at 730, and she's out in the hallways, and I thought I heard stomping.

1:51:27No, she's pounding on the window. Oh, wow. We're going to get you. She's holding up a sign that says 730. Wow. It says 730 question mark. She's nuts. Put your foot against the door. Don't let her in there. Don't mouth those words to me. Whoa. It's a good thing. Eskimo. It's soundproof. It's an earthquake in here. Good thing. All right, Jay, come on in. It's going to be, it's going to be harp music. Oh, my gosh. This is going to be so hard. Harp. It's going to be. Pop songs set to harp? Yeah. Yeah, it's pop and country. It's all music gingers. Oh, boy. Love it, Jim Rays. Love it. We were talking about harp all last week because we were saying there's just not much outside of the wedding industry. Or the mall. Playing the mall at Christmas. The mall at Christmas. There's a harp camp. I found it on YouTube. Get out. It's one of the worst videos I've ever seen. It really is, though? Yeah. I will say that the harp players are hot. Are they? Oh, yeah. Yeah, these guys, you won't believe them. They must work out. All right, let's do this.

1:52:30Here we go. Woods. Stairway to Heaven. Led Zeppelin. I raised my hand. Yeah, she raised her hand. Good job. Idiot. Wow. Woods, that was pretty quick for Harp. Well, this song has fond memories for me. Here we go. Lauren. Paparazzi. Wow. By Lady Gaga in Harp. Yep. Nice. Okay, here we go. This was tough. That is some playing. That was jamming. Iron Maiden. Trooper. And the guy has full-on got the Iron Maiden hat. No way. His harp is all tied up with bandanas. He was jamming. That is impressive. Yeah, it is. He was shredding. Impressive. Here we go. Woods. Mikey. Metallica. We're good. Okay. Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. It's jammed. Okay, what's the score?

1:54:07Everyone has one, but Sienna. That's right. I hate the harp. Here's your chance to get on the board. Lauren. Lauren? Owl City. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What? She has it on her. Who? Owl City. Fireflies. Fireflies. It's so cool. Are you guys speaking Greek? I love it. What the hell is that? I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth. It's a popular song. I like girls. It's a song, you weirdo. Then you should know this song. You should play it. Okay, here we go. Woods. Woods. Journey. Wow. Don't Stop Believin'. Really? Play it again. Let me hear it. That's rad. Mikey's going to download it. That's what I got it. Wow. What a trip. All right, here we go. Martin 2, Woods 2, Mikey 1. I would say if you get a chance to look this song up, it's amazing. Two twins playing harps.

1:55:31This new, this one? This one coming up. Of course. What would I be? Mikey. It's a, it's a. Don't. This. One, four, three, two. Outcast. Yes, got it. Yes. He got a long time. What's that song? Hey, yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey. Oh, that was awesome. That was great. Here we go. It's a good song to play. Mikey. Mikey. Coldplay. Yep. Clocks. Clocks. That was good. That was good. Here we go. Two more. What are we doing? What score? Who's in the lead? Mikey. Beating them by one. Oh, so it's a close match. Here we go. Mikey. Taylor Swift. What? You nerd. Nerd. Super gay. Nerd. So Mikey's up. Guilty. So Mikey's up by two, so this last one's worth three. Oh. All right. Here we go. Lauren. I knew it. I know it.

1:57:03What? Go ahead, Lauren. Yesterday. Yep. Very good. Did she win? She wins. She came in from behind. Oh, man. I feel like that's a cheap win, but hey. No, hey, a win's a win. A win is a win. That was fun. I was afraid to lose three. There was no way I want to lose poor Sienna. Can't even talk. Taylor Swift. Whatever. How did you not get the Taylor Swift? Owl City, whoever that is. I don't even know what that is. That's a good song. The Owl City one? Yeah. It was a big hit. Let's see. Who had Lauren? M1 Juan. Hi, Juan. Hey, what's up? You Juan. You Juan. You Juan. You Juan. Hang on a line, buddy, okay? You're going to go see Spoon. Hang on. Juan Juan. Juan Juan. Really? You're the fun that I want. Yeah. Got a meet and greet August 13th we're going to do with you. Come out and meet all of us. Be out there from 5 to 7. Woods is even bringing his dog, Senior Beans. A real dog. A real dog. He's a little tiny Yorkie. Yes, Eskimo. Oh, my gosh. She's furious. Eskimo Blue Waters will be on the air with us next. 570-16 is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

1:58:39Well, this Wednesday night, you can go see The Temper Trap. They're playing at House of Blues. And on Saturday night, Silver Sun Pickups will play at Soma with the Henry Clay people. And Sunday night, Tokyo Police Club at the Casbah. That's Sunday the 8th. My Morning Jacket play open air theater on the 11th. The Saw Pack will play one of our 4 o'clock Friday shows at the Del Mar Racetrack. That's on Friday the 13th. And Coheed and Cambria are playing 4th and B on Saturday the 14th. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion is at Oceanside Pier August 29th. Green Day Play Cricket Wireless September 2nd. Stone Temple Pilots just announced a show with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. That's September 16th at Viejas Arena. And Interpol just announced a show. They'll play SOMA October 21st. So there you have it. Get up there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. LCD Sound System with Hot Chip. Coming to Remac Arena Wednesday, October 13th. Oh, oh, oh, oh. This LCD Sound System, October 13th. Oh, oh, oh, oh. On sale August 6th at 10 a.m. at the Remac Arena Box Office. Ticketmaster.com. Or by phone at 800-745-3000. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

2:00:07If you are a Time Warner Cable customer, here's some facts you need to know. ESPN's current agreements with Time Warner Cable will expire on September 2nd. And they may stop carrying your favorite ESPN networks. You don't need to be put in the middle. So, we are working hard to reach an agreement. In the meantime, know that you do have choices. There are other providers available to you. Five I Have Choices. Or go to IHaveChoices.com. Ford's model year sales event is going on now. Time to get an incredible clearance price on a built Ford Tough truck. Like F-150, the best-selling pickup in America. Now with total cash back up to $5,500. Need even more muscle? Step up to a new 2010 Super Duty. Now with total cash back up to $6,000. If you have a big job to do, if you have a boat to haul, or if you just need to climb the sand to get your boards to the beach, your San Diego County Ford dealers have the truck you need. With cash back up to $6,000 on top of model year sales event pricing. Log on to sandiegocountyford.com for all the details. Ford, built for San Diego.

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2:04:04This study will require four overnights and a total of 10 outpatient visits. If you qualify and choose to participate, you may be compensated up to $3,400. For more information, call 1-866-245-5921. Once again, Profil Institute is looking for type 1 diabetics between the ages of 18 and 65 years old who are currently controlling condition with Lantus or insulin glargine and otherwise healthy. 866-245-5921 to see if you qualify. That's 1-866-245-5921. This year's summer is for grown-ups. Introducing Camp Vegas. Our sexy camp counselors have all kinds of activities planned, like tug-of-war. No, I saw him. He's mine. Campfire songs. Team building. I'll rub sunscreen on your back if you rub some on mine. And open swim pool parties. With luxurious cabins and five-star canteens, Camp Vegas is unlike any camp you've ever been to. Send yourself to Camp Vegas for grown-ups at VisitLasVegas.com. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Truly Nolan Four Season Pest Control is a proactive program addressing pest behavior before they become a problem. For a free in-home evaluation, call Truly Nolan at 1-800-GO-TRULY. 1-800-GO-TRULY.

2:05:22This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. Come ride the waves of cash right now at Saquon Casino. Every Monday through August 16th, you could win $25,000 in cash instantly. Some other great prizes like a dream trip to Maui. On the 125 southbound between the 94 and Grossmont Boulevard, a little slow right now. Also, the 56 westbound between Carmel Valley Road and Carmel Valley Road is slow. That whole area is slow. The 5 southbound between 8th Street and 54, also a backup in National City. This report brought to you by Discovery Channel. Shark Week is back. It's the most wonderful time of the year. So enjoy a good scare, America. You're welcome. Happy Shark Week starting tonight at 9, Eastern Pacific on Discovery. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. Now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I don't know the difference between hot and even. Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times. I do too. Woods. I don't know what my point is. I just felt like saying it. Cassiana. I love salami. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Bye, people on The Mikey Show. Myself, Woods, Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L-O-B, Sienna, and Jay. We also have a phone screener named Austin who says that he was mauled by a... mauled by a tiger? Something like that.

2:06:53I would guess it's something else. Something was chewing on his neck real good. Something was getting him real good. Her name is Tiger. Yeah, maybe her name's Tiger. Maybe he was in Oregon and got attacked by a vampire in Oregon. I know there's cougars in Del Mar, but... Come on in, Austin. Come on in here, pal. Austin, how old is Austin? 19? 19. He walked in like as if nothing was wrong. Austin's 19. Are you 19? Did you burn yourself with a curling iron? No. That thing is big. Hey, somebody had a great weekend. Is a hickey a big player again? No. Okay. Oh, they're back in. Yeah, they're coming back. No, they're not. Yeah, they are. You've seen them in high school. 70s, I think, was the last time that the hickey was a player. I need to know information about this. Hickey, and I need to take a picture for the website. The whole thing. It's going up. Oh, my gosh. Let me hit that thing. It's the size of a quarter. Can we put a quarter on your neck so that we take a picture? It's the size of a quarter. What's going on with that? And it's dark. My goodness. Jay's taking a pic right now. Oh, wow. Look at that sucker. Oh, my gosh. It's so dark. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. Yeah, yeah. Hold the quarter next to it. Hold the quarter next to it. Evidence.

2:08:16Oh, this is fun. Poor guy. He's like, I just came in to answer the phones. I went and got you guys your oatmeal you like. Now this. Come on, Ansel Adams over there. What are you doing? Take the picture. Holy cow, Jay. It won't do it. Okay, well, we'll get it. We'll get it off here. I got it. Of course he does. I'm going to OCD about it until we can get it. Got it. Celebrity neck spots. So where'd you go, Austin? Oh, you know. San Diego State. San Diego State. Like a frat party. Oh, to be young again. It's like a rave party. Oh, wow. Awesome. Do you make glow sticks? No. No. And now, is this a girlfriend or is this somebody you met that night? Girlfriends don't leave hickeys like that. Yeah, I met her that night. Have you talked to her since? No. Kid's a closer, dude. He's a closer. Is it bad that I don't remember her name? Yes. No, it is not. He's young. He's young. You're 19, right? Yes. Oh, to be 19 again. Look at that. That was a fun time. Austin was my kid. Come here, son. Have a little talk. Be thankful that you're not, Austin. That's right. Do you live at home with your parents?

2:09:36Yeah, I'm back from college. Have they seen it? Yeah, I told them it was a paintball shot. A paintball? He has a hell of a shot, too. That's the only one he got me with all day. Great shot. Do they believe it? Yeah, absolutely. So now. I did the curling iron thing. My mom bought it. Yeah, me too. How does any mother buy the curling iron? Here's the deal. They don't. It looks the same. They don't? They just don't want the embarrassment either. It looks the same. No, it doesn't. It does. Do you guys have hair on your neck that you curl? No, but you hold it up to it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. And what girl is like curling her hair and goes. Oh, I've done it. I've done it with a flat iron. Me too. Yeah, it's easy to do. I do it with my chi all the time when I'm flat ironing my hair. I have the chi. He knows the name of it. Yeah, I'm married. He knows the name of it. I'm married. You're telling me. It's in my bathroom. You're telling me that burning yourself with a curling iron looks like that? Yeah. Yeah. If you just get it real quick. Maybe we'll do a test on the hair. Yeah. I'll burn you and see what happens. Yeah.

2:10:35And then Nike, you can give Woods a hickey. Oh, boy. Good work, Austin. Very proud of you, dude. I'm proud that you're on phone screen. Not proud of you, Austin. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Good for you. Smelly pirate hooker. I'm proud of him for having the guts to come in and let us ask the question. I'm proud of him for meeting a random and getting a hickey from her. Good for him. I'm not proud of him for meeting a random and getting a hickey. He gets a closer in there. We asked him, hey, buddy, what's that on your neck? Although we obviously knew what it was. He said, I was mauled by a tiger. Mikey, nobody ever got pregnant or an STD from giving a hickey. That don't make it okay? Well, why? It's sucking on a neck. Do they even feel good? What's the deal with a hickey? They don't feel good. It's like marking your territory or something? I don't know. Like, why give a hickey? See, the psychology of... the hickey giver is the one that is so fascinating to me. Maybe the caller. Maybe Austin remembers her name. They were at a rave, so maybe the pacifier fell out of her mouth. You know what I mean? She needs something else to suck on. I just, I don't get it. I don't either. Like, when is the age where it's okay to not give hickeys anymore? You know, like, after high school, I don't think you can give hickeys anymore. No. Like, it's not cool.

2:11:53Yes, you can come in. Oh, my gosh. She's so irritated. Stop banging then on the window and come in here. Stop. Okay. You see me? I'm waving to come in. Can we trip her when she walks in? Eskimo Blue Waters. So irritated. She probably knows a lot about Hickory's. First of all. Shot out of a cannon. This is almost an hour after I was scheduled to be here. You were scheduled at 730. I know that. It is true. I've got other places to be, Mike. Do you? Yes. Name one other place. I'm going to go to Dr. Wiener's office. Yeah. Try to get a gig. Are you? Yes. You're so excited to be here. I am. And you have so much stuff that you want to share with us. Yeah. What do I have to do? Give myself a hickey to get attention around here or what? Yes. The answer to the question is that that would probably get you more attention locally. Don't fling that hair back like that. I'm just trying to show you the canvas for one. for which spot I could get a hickey on. That's right. Canvas. Cowboy hat. Cowboy hat. Got the dark glasses. Cigarette breath. Yeah, cigarette breath. ACDC t-shirt. Dreamcatcher earrings. Dreamcatcher earrings. She bought, you know, they sell all those rock t-shirts now. You know where they sell them? Where? Target. Is that where you got that? No. What? Really? This is vintage. You bought it at an ACDC concert? No. I bought it.

2:13:13I got it from a thrift store. A thrift store. Yeah, it's called Target. No. My wife has a Stones one from there. Well. I do too. Yeah, so does the same one. It's got on a pair of jeans, boots, basically what you wear. Yeah, cowboy boots. Every time. Easy for you to say. Got on layered necklaces, bracelets going on. It's not a joke, Woods. Anyway, I thought that. Eskimo. Yes. At some point with this entertainment stuff, I mean, right? I mean, at some point. At some point, what? Well, I mean, I can't ask you. Sienna, at what point does a person say, I have given show business everything I've got? Mike. Yeah. You never give up. You never give up. That's right. You never give up. That's right. What if you had quit? We all heard how bad you sounded on the radio. What if you... Oh, wow. But the deal is, at some point, you've got to face reality, right? I mean, poor Judy here. She's been going at this. Don't call me that. That's your real name. But, I mean, I would recommend getting a job outside of the entertainment industry as well. Well, that's why I'm going to go to the doctor's office, because...

2:14:25What better place to have a captive audience than a waiting room? It can't go anywhere. It can't go anywhere. That's true. It can't go anywhere. I'm just going to gig my way. Be a receptionist or something? No, just try to gig there. She did it at the ER. No, we spoke English. That was the problem. It can be tough. But I'm learning some Spanish, so that'll help. That'll work. What are you here to do all weekend long? We've been promoting the fact that you were coming in and you wanted Woodsy to play along with you. Yeah, I'm trying to give Woods. I know that the kid plays guitar, so he says. And he's kind of looking to maybe join a band or break into the music industry. So I thought that I would take this opportunity to give back. Since you're already in the music industry. Yeah. You'll give back to him. Yeah. You know, I have made a bit of a name for myself in the San Diego singer-songwriter arena. You have? I have. You're telling me. That if we were to ask, say, somebody like John Foreman, lead singer of Switchfoot. I don't know who that is. You don't know who John Foreman is. He's the lead singer of Switchfoot. I've never heard of that. Oh, my gosh. What about Steve Paltz? Never heard of Steve Paltz. He was your boyfriend. No, that was Steve Maltz was your boyfriend. Steve Maltz was my ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. I don't, look, I'm telling you, I know, like, a couple people on the indie scene. Yeah. Very indie. Yeah.

2:15:45India as an independent. So I don't pay attention to these sellouts. No, as in India. You know a couple of people that are in the Indian American music scene. It's an embarrassing thing to admit, but I feel like more people know who I am than I know who they are. That's embarrassing to admit. It's embarrassing because I'm bad at names and stuff. Right. So what she's saying is it's embarrassing because sometimes you'll have people. from big local bands like Switchfoot come up and say, you're saying that they will come up to you and say, oh my gosh, Eskimo Blue Waters. And you're like, who are you? You said his name's John Coleman. No, I didn't. I said John Foreman never mentioned his hair. So you know exactly who I'm talking. Maybe you remember. They'll get you in. That's a good idea. What are you going to do with Woods? Here, dude. Woods, I don't know if you're really proficient on the guitar. I spent literally the entire weekend tabbing out this new song that I wrote. What do you mean? What is that? I can read tabs, so I can play them. Is that like the music? Yeah, tablature. Yeah? Yeah, of course. So it's a bunch of guitar tabs. I mean, basically, it's the chords. It's the chord structure and everything. The chord structure. I've written some songs, and I write all my own original music, and I can play what I'm going to ask him to play pretty well.

2:17:06But I want him to try to step up. Your songs are all ripped off. Yep, every single one. Every one. So this doesn't look too challenging, actually. Well, this one was actually, it's inspired by a few different bands. It's mostly Nirvana and Dave Grohl's other band. I can't remember. The Foo Fighters. Yeah, I'm not really too familiar with who they are. Really? What they sing. Okay. Anything like that. All right. So do you think you got this dude? I think I can get it. Okay. Let me just hold on. Let's give it a shot. Woods, what? Come on, it's in drop D. Oh, drop D. God, you're an idiot. Oh, my God. What's wrong with you? You just gave him the music. Okay. Yeah, drop D. Drop D. I'm following along. I'm ready, I guess. Oh, my gosh. Sounds very familiar. Very familiar. Goodbye. You left you. Come on, keep up. Last night, put yourself at me. Into my ears you ran. Are you kidding me?

2:18:29You're a weirdo. All weekend she worked on this. Yeah, she worked on it all weekend, laying out the tablature. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Go up and germinate with you. Wait, wait, wait. I got to stop. What are you doing? I got to stop there. Stop it. You can't keep up or what? No, I can keep up. But the last line she said was, and germinate with you. What does that even mean? It means like to grow and flourish. What? Do you want to do the chorus? Yeah, let me do the chorus. Can we do the chorus, Mike? This one's a little challenging. Are you singing? No, let me see if I remember how to play this song. What do you mean, remember? I just taught it to you. What? Wow, that's not much of a change. Wow.

2:19:32That not a thing would never be so bad again. Lots of things that you ask of me. I forgot I promised I would stop when you say so. Say so. Okay, that's a wrap. Stop it. That's a wrap. It's a wrap. Okay, that's a wrap. I mean, I know I've heard that song before. Of course you have. It's called Everlong. It's called Never Short. Oh. And I'm doing this new thing with my voice where I'm not going to manipulate it when I sing anymore. I'm just going to let it flow raw. Acoustic. You're going to let it flow raw. Acoustic. Acoustic. Because you've done songs before. I put effects on my voice and there's different stylings and techniques, but I'm not going to do it. I like that time you sang a song that was somewhat like Shakira.

2:20:25I don't know who Shaniqua is. Yeah, it's not Shaniqua. You did opera? I don't think you could sing opera in that voice that you just did. But this is my new thing. You know what, Woods? If you're not going to cooperate, I'm not going to introduce you to the legendary Willie Nelson. You know Willie Nelson? Because he's a Texas legend. Not that Willie Nelson. Actually, no one's called him Willie since he was a kid, but he has a beard and he smokes a lot of pot. Well, his name's Bill Nelson. What does he do? He runs a triangle shaping plant. Why the hell would I want to meet him? What is that? Well, it's the triangle, the instrument. Oh, the instrument. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I play the guitar. He's on the inside of the industry, but he's actually working on a new concept called the square. Oh, my God. He's hoping it's going to revolutionize. You let me know when it's done. Not a new concept. The square, Mike. Have you ever seen it? I've heard of it. No, you've heard of the triangle. Okay. He's not sure, but maybe the Pentagon. Better watch out then. It's a really pretty song. She won't introduce you to Willie Nelson. Bill Nelson. Bill, Bill. Nobody's called him Willie since he's been a kid. It must have taken her hours to copy that tab.

2:21:39She printed it, and then she had to copy it on another piece of paper. It would have taken a long time. Long time. She drew out all the strings and stuff and put the tab on. I favored over that song all weekend. Sounds like it. And I was like, how can I put it in the simplest form so that an idiot could read it? Thank you. And you still couldn't do it. I thought I'd nailed the music, actually. I don't have any gigs to promote. I'm going to go to Dr. Wiener's office and try to get one. Thanks, Eskimo. Yeah, thank you. Try to get Eskimo Blue Waters. Yeah, better luck next time, kid. That's what I was just going to say to you. No, to me. She said it. Wow. Yeah, she said it to me. She's unbelievable. He's an amateur. He's an amateur. Let's do some woods of wisdom. Call us right now, 570-1949. You want to ask Woodsy a question about girls? Well, I know you need your woods of wisdom. Relationships, you can fix them. Woodsy, Woodsy, Woodsy. You're the loud advice for friends. Does it have to do with fashion? Does it have to do with guy stuff? Does it have to do with any of that? 570-1949. Ask for some Woods of Wisdom. We get these. You can go to MikeyShow.com. Click on the Woods of Wisdom there and ask a question of Woods. This one says, Woodsy, what's the proper thing to use? Mouthwash, chew gum. What's the best thing to do to keep the breath nice and sweet?

2:23:13And one schooner. What you want to do, pal, is you want to get some Listerine. Listerine. Listerine. As somebody that used to smoke and that still dips, you know, smelly Copenhagen. Right. I always have gum on me. I got gum in my car. I got gum in my bag. So I hit the Listerine in the morning, Listerine at night before I go to bed. I always have a little gum handy on you, too. Always. How about this one? Yo, Woodsy, what's the right move after taking a girl out to dinner on a first date? How do you approach the first kiss? M1 nonsense. Dude, this is a question for the ages, man. Again, I think we talked about it before. It's like she may not be into it. And who knows, man? You may not be into it after your first date. You may not feel it. But one thing that I used to do when I dated was I was, and I still am, a pretty touchy-feely dude.

2:24:02I would have the hand on the small of the back, maybe grab her, you know, kind of hook in her arm and walk her in and hold her hand, you know, things like that. Maybe put my hand on her knee at dinner. That's a Bauman move. Yeah, Bauman. Not Malman. Mark Malman. At least it's not. You've already kind of set a precedent of like, you know, you can touch one another. Yeah. And don't do the bit where you ask them. No. Because that's weak. Don't say, yeah, darling, man, I kissed you like Mikey did. I've done it, dude. Don't do it. I think every guy's done it. It's ridiculous. But it's going to come down, what it's going to come down to, it's going to come down to chemistry, and it's going to come down to how you both are feeling. And you'll know it. Let's see. M1 Dilf from North County is online. Dilf? Dilf. And he says that Woodsy has never answered his question, which would be my fault, actually, because I'm the one that, Woodsy never sees the questions. I'm the one that sees the questions and weeds through them and gives them to Woodsy. Dilf, what's your question? Well, I called about a month ago, and I told you guys that my wife was mad at me because my teenage son, all the girls that he hangs out with in high school, all think that I'm attractive. And my wife is getting mad at me over it.

2:25:21wondering if Woods can give me some wisdom on how to deal with that. You go by the name M1 Dilf, dude. Obviously, you think so, too. Well, and also... I was named Dilf. I didn't give myself that name. Hey, man, you can't help that you're dynamic. Okay? It's something I deal with. It's something I deal with every day. Can I just ask him a question? How does she let you know that she doesn't like it? What does she do? She, whenever it comes up, she looks at me and she'll say, you're stupid, you're dumb, you got a big head. And I told Woods before that, I mean, I do appreciate it, I'm flattered, but I like women. You love it, Delph. Yeah, you love it. I do not buy your bit, dude. I'm sure you're a good looking guy, but your wife is 1000% right. By the fact that you're calling us again to tell us how your sons... Girlfriends think you're hot. As M1 Dilf, by the way. How about you giving me the advice? What do I do to make my wife stop yelling at me? Oh, maybe you stop calling in as M1 Dilf. I know, maybe you... I mean, what are you doing? He's getting giddy like a schoolgirl. He runs around shirtless? I mean, are you doing something that... Does she say you're doing anything to kind of promote this?

2:26:41Absolutely not. I was blindsided by it. And how do you react? I love it. Oh, my gosh. Listen, I can't do anything about it. Dil, if I'm right there with you, dude, you're dynamic. There's nothing you can do about it. Just next time those young girls are around, you hold your wife's hand and you'll be like, make her feel like she is hot and that she looks good because, you know. Percentage of chance that when the girlfriends come around, he makes sure they see him. He makes short percentage of chance. He probably walks out in a bathing suit. 100% chance. You know you do. This is such a huge mistake. It's all right. We're just giving you a hard time. I'm sure you're great, but I'm just saying make your wife feel like, you know, make her feel like she is just the one. She's gorgeous. She's beautiful. Better looking than you. Because this goes back to last week's conversation with you guys. If I give my wife flowers, she's like, that's great. Why don't you go scrub the kitchen floor? See, that means that her love language is acts of service. Love language. You got to get that seven, the seven love languages and you figure out what it is that is her love language. Obviously. I'm all over that, Mikey. I'll jump right on that. Her love language is the acts of service. She loves that.

2:27:54And you can't help it if people check you out or think you're attractive, if you are, but you can handle your reaction to it. And it seems like if she's saying you have a big head and all that, it's kind of how you're reacting to it. You love being the Dilf. Hey, Dilf, you keep being dynamic, dude. The only time it comes up is when I chat my son's ass about it. Yeah. I make fun to my son. That's it. Well, you keep being dynamic, dude. She'll come around. Where's she going to go? Maybe don't bring it up. You're in demand, pal. I know. Maybe just be like, oh. Be proud of it because you're in demand. How old are you, Dilf? 40. There you go. Good job. Good job. Are you keeping in shape? You're looking good. I'm sure you're doing it. I'm doing it. I'm sure you're doing it. Oh, no, I'm not in shape. I'm totally fat, out of shape. I hardly ever shave. You're fat and out of shape and you don't shave in the dressing room? Yeah, absolutely. He's lying. That's why, yeah, I'm dead serious. All right. Well, thank you, Dilf. It's the cockiness, maybe. Absolutely. Is that it? Yeah. Okay. I don't know, dude. You're fine. Just make sure your wife knows that you love her. Got one more. Okay. Woodsy, what comes first, work or my girlfriend? She complains that I work hard. I'm a welding apprentice. Thing is, if we are ever going to get married, I need cash. M1 Kevin. Man, this is the age-old story, too. And the way that I put it, bro, is that work comes first. You know, right now, at this point in your life, you're making a name for yourself.

2:29:19And, dude, there's so many guys that are what I perceive to be your age that aren't really hard workers. And it sounds like you are. I think work's got to come first. Your career's got to come first. And then you can get settled, you know, get married and all that stuff. But career, definitely first. You ladies down with that? Mm-hmm. I'm down with that until marriage. Absolutely. I'm down with that until marriage. And then I say wife comes first and then work comes second. It's hard to battle. It's hard to battle, man. I mean, we have this. You have it at home. I have it at home. My dad's always had it. And my dad's thing was, hey, I'm going to work my ass off so my wife and kids don't really have to. But, you know, things happen, things change. Yeah, I got to make, what I have to do is I have to make sure that there's a balance so that I am successful as I need to be at work, but that my wife is coming before it, you know? Yep. Make your home time your home time. Here's the easiest way to do it. This is the hardest thing I ever did. I was writing my wife an email that said, how am I doing? That's a hard one because that email back is the one, you know, you got to wait for that and be like, oh boy. I mean, dude, I don't have any kids and we struggle with it at my house. You know what I mean? Jamie's like, you need to spend more time with me. I'm like, babe, I've got this work. I've got to get done. Let me get it done and we'll hang out. Just asking how you're doing though means a lot. Yeah, for sure. Apparently there's a way to tell what us dudes really mean.

2:30:54when we say certain things. For me... You need a translator. Well, for me, it's because I say it. We'll tell you. When we come back, we'll tell you what it is and how it works. Also, Shark Week kicked off. Yes. And I got some good... I got some good shark stuff for you. It's coming up next. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Sion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wig. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the CAW Local 94.9 stage.

2:31:55The silent comedy, the nervous records of burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets for $30 today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at fm949sd.com or independencejam.com. Eight vans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. LCD Sound System with Hot Chef. Coming to Remac Arena Wednesday, October 13th. Oh, oh, oh. Open this LCD sound system October 13th. It's may sale August 6th at 10 a.m. At the Remack Arena box office. Ticketmaster.com. Or by phone at 800-745-3000. LCD sound system with hot jet. Produced by AEG Live. Okay, let me guess. I'd like to turn myself in, officer. You can't turn yourself in on the side of the road, sir. But I got this Mini Cooper with three years or 36,000 miles of no-cost maintenance and six airbags, and I only paid $19,500. That's not a crime, sir. But it also came with 37 MPG, which I just withheld from you. Congratulations. I've made a mockery. Okay, move it along.

2:33:04The Mini Cooper. It's a steal, but it's not stolen. Get 1.9% APR financing for up to 60 months on all new Mini models from now until August 31st. For details, visit miniusa.com slash info. MSRP includes destination handling, excludes license registration, taxes, and options. Everyone's talking about Ovation Cell Therapy and how Ovation products are designed to maximize growth, strength, body, and shine for thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair. Ovation's natural products nourish your hair with proteins and amino acids to help reduce breakage and hair loss, creating visible I had over-processed hair, but Ovation Cell Therapy has brought my hair back to life. My hair is noticeably shinier, softer, fuller, more manageable, and just all-around healthier. I feel like I'm doing something really good for my hair and myself every time I use Ovation. For healthier, shinier, more manageable hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introduction. free discount. Don't put it off any longer. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. OvationHair.com Everyone's talking about Ovation Cell Therapy, and you will too. Ovation works. Woodsy? Yes, sir? So, your eyesight, I said this this weekend, I said, you know, you should film a commercial at one of your baseball games for your vision.

2:34:29Yeah, and if you guys had seen me yesterday, I was hitting the ball all over the park, man. I knocked in four runs yesterday. I sure did. You did. The thing is, I'm probably no better hitter than I ever was, but when I go up there, I have confidence because I can see and I don't have dirt in my contacts. I went surfing Saturday for the first time with my new eyes, and the fact that my contacts weren't rolled back in my head after I wiped out was the greatest thing ever, man. You're not getting sand. Yeah, Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Those guys helped me so much. I have such a new sense of confidence. And really, you know, the most important thing I want to tell you guys is they are affordable. They offer 0% interest financing. They offer 18 months interest-free financing. They are the best, most helpful staff. The office is top of the line, guys. Affordability, technology, and experience. Love it. You got to do it. I see Woodsy every day, and I know this guy. is loving the results we got. So if you want to get in touch with them, tell them I sent you and call them at 858-452-3937 or check them out online at www.

2:35:34At the Bridal Bazaar, you'll find everything you need to plan the wedding of your dreams. one place, all on one day. There's just so many vendors to choose from, from everything from flowers to invitations. Cakes, definitely. I'm full from all the tastings. The dresses were gorgeous. Chocolate fountains and everything that you could possibly imagine. It's kind of a collaboration of ideas that's coming together. It's got to be a perfect day. Plus, you can register to win a pair of diamond earrings from John Franklin Jewelers. The Bridal Bazaar. Sunday, August 8th at the San Diego Convention Center. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Definitely go to the Bridal Bazaar because it's all you need. With AT&T high-speed internet, you can connect at blazing fast speeds. See, I can log on and boom, I'm checking out a live feed of the news. Fast, right? See, home high-speed internet from AT&T has blazing fast speeds, so it's easy to download funny videos, like this dog on a unicycle.

2:36:57That's strange. Or just as quickly, I can do a little social networking. Lisa is craving a slice of pizza. Lisa got these cool glasses on sale. Lisa is drinking her third cup of coffee. Lisa is getting... Hey, can you guys keep it down? Rude. You're the one with all the browser windows open, mister. Yeah. My fault. You think? Totally. Switch from cable to high-speed internet from AT&T and get $100 back via promotion card with qualifying services. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash HSI. Internet service requires DSL modem router and qualifying local service. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges may apply. Online redemption required. Other restrictions apply. Offerings 11610. Have you been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes? If so, you may be eligible to participate in a clinical research study comparing the effects of an investigational long-acting insulin and FDA approved Lantus or insulin glargine on blood glucose levels at Profil Institute for Clinical Research. You may qualify if you have been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, are between 18 and 65 years of age, and are currently controlling condition with Lantus or insulin glargine. This study will require four overnights and a total of 10 outpatient visits. If you qualify and choose to participate, you may be compensated up to $3,400. For more information, call 1-866-245-5921.

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2:39:41This report is brought to you by the Fremont Street Experience. Fremont Street Experience in downtown Las Vegas presents Summer of the 70s Music Festival. Free nightly concerts. Go to VegasExperience.com for more info. Well, let's see what we've got going on for you. A little bit of slowing here in Encinitas on the 5 southbound between La Costa Avenue, Manchester Avenue. Also, El Cajon has a backup. This is on the 8 westbound between Main Street and Greenfield Drive. Speed's about 35 miles an hour. 15 southbound between the 56 and Poway Road. Also very slow right now. There is a two-car accident on the 805 northbound 47th Street. They are stuck in the center divider. This report, it's brought to you by Quiznos. Brought to you by Quiznos 543. value menu. Get a great lunch for $5, $4, or $3. Quiznos. Toasty. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Oh, I want to go to battle. Lauren. I've got strawberry seeds in my teeth. Weird. Woods. I'm a mess today. I'm an absolute 100%.

2:40:46There's nothing wrong with Match.com. And Jake. Yeah, I killed a snake. I didn't want to, but he gave me no choice. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to the Mikey Show. It's Monday. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondo's. Don't forget, we've got a meet and greet August 13th. It's going to be out there from 5 to 7. Tipsy Crow. It's on 5th Avenue downtown. It's going to be a fun time. Specials will include something called the Mikey Show Free App Friday where you get a drink. They'll give you a selected appetizer. They're going to have beer specials out there, 21 and up. We will do an all-ages one, so don't freak. But this one's 21 and up, just so you know. And, Sienna, what's going on in the news? Now, M1 Wasabi just sent me this article, and I'm looking at it right now, and it's very awesome because it's about dogs. Two Chesapeake Bay Retrievers are going to be on David Letterman's show.

2:42:11Our dock diving dogs, and I guess that Purina Incredible Dog Challenge is bringing in a 40-foot pole and a 40-foot dock, and these dogs are just going to be doing tricks and diving into water. I know. Really? It's so cool. They're going to be on Letterman. Like, what do they do? I don't know. I've never heard of a dock diving dog before, but they're both rescue dogs. They're both on their second home, and they were given up because they were too much dog. They're really active and stuff, so, you know. Just get rid of it. Just get rid of it. Don't be mad. Just get rid of it. You know your kid's hyper? Just get rid of them. You know what I mean? Just try for another one. Idiots. Maybe I'll take the belt to those guys. Too much dog. They jump and they entertain the crowd and it's supposed to be awesome. Their names are Smoke and Henry. Absolutely. So cool. Also, if you haven't heard, Lindsay Lohan was released from jail at 135 this morning. She only served 14 days of her 90-day sentence and she's headed straight to rehab. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Albert Hainsworth is fat. Yes. And he has officially missed his third straight day of conditioning. Let's see. He failed the test on the first day because he took a long bathroom break in the middle of it. Then he failed again on Friday when he didn't post a sufficient time. Then he didn't take it on Saturday because he had a hurt left knee. So he's really just winning friends and influencing people in Redskins camp that he didn't want to be in anyway. Well, here's a question that people are asking.

2:43:39Is it really that or is it that Mike Shanahan just doesn't want to let him pass because Mike Shanahan... He's been in the doghouse for a while, right? But he... Obviously, does he seem real fired up to you to be there and want to get with his team? No, he doesn't want to. Who wants to play for the Deadskins? Spoken like a truth. She's even wearing her Philadelphia Eagles t-shirt right now. L-O-B. Also, the Padres are heading up to L.A. They have a four-game series against the Dodgers. There you go. Tonight's 8 o'clock album here on FM 94.9, Arcade Fire, The Suburbs. So make sure you're listening. Let's see. Okay, so things that you can tell about us dudes and what we really mean. These are like some popular phrases that guys may say to a girl. They're telling is what you're saying. In other words, we say this. We really mean this. Yes. For example. Take your top off. For example, we should hang out sometime. It means I am very interested. I'm very interested in physically being with you. Yes, exactly. And I'm going to read you the quotes that they've explained what he means. I don't want to flat out ask you on a date and risk rejection. So first, I'm going to gauge your interest.

2:44:57We should hang out sometime. Yeah, we should hang out sometime. See, the deal is that in 2010, there's no other way for that to be interpreted other than I'm interested in you romantically. There is no girl on planet Earth that hears a guy say to them, we should hang out sometime, and thinks to themselves, But he's really interested in a buddy, a friendship. He wants to play Uno. He wants to play Uno. He wants to play Go Fish. Well, it always leaves, like Sienna's saying, it leaves. I've had a couple of those. Now that I'm single again, I've had a couple of those from guys. And if you say, oh, no, I'm not really dating right now. Or like, oh, you know, no, thank you. It's like. Well, I was just saying, we could just be friends. I mean, it seems like we'd be friends. You would say no thank you if they said that to you? Well, she's allowed. She's allowed, yeah. Hey, listen. Well, obviously you don't have to, but I'd be like, yeah, sure. No. That's a lie, too. That's a date. Sienna. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I know, but if I say to you. Just ignore the phone call. Let's say I say to you. Say I say to you, or however I communicated to you. Let's hang out. And you know, you don't want to.

2:46:05I would never tell you no. I know, but that means that now I think you will. I've been around the black a few times. I know how to be up front now. Was it a random, like, let's say somebody hit you on Facebook, you didn't know, and they're like, hey, we should hang out. You'd be like, okay. I just wouldn't respond, probably. But I would never say no. And I do believe that that is the right thing to do. I think that non-responding is completely appropriate. I think that's completely... I would feel arrogant if I was like, I'm not going to date. Like, I don't know. I just, I would feel like... It's honest, though. It is honest. I would rather have honest. Okay, but that means if you say, I'm not going to date, you better not be going on any dates or... I'm not. Okay, and then that's fine. Yeah, and she isn't. I don't mean Lauren necessarily, but I just, I mean, I don't know. I just... I don't like being mean. I like it. I think it's, hey, listen, man, I don't get any girls asking me to hang out, but I'd be like, no, I'm not interested in that. If a girl said no, you would be like, jeez, B. I'm sorry, but I've also been on the other side of things where, like, usually what happens to me is what Sienna's suggesting. I don't want to hurt feelings. I don't want to...

2:47:23be rejectful or if that's even a word. So I'll always be like, okay, and then smile. And then two months later, it's still text messages of, so we're going to hang out sometime. Well, yeah, that guy thinks that you want to, that you're open to. You've given him a green light. I would just never respond one time. Cut it off. I can't do that. What else does it say? I really like your shoes. If a guy says, oh, I really like your shoes, I really like your top. It means he's gay. I was going to say it means we really like your shoes. No, or like, I really like your dress. I think that he's trying to pay you like a neutral compliment where it's like. If I say I really like your dress, it's because I really like your dress. Exactly. I dig your style. It says I really like you. I think that's true. Like if a guy compliments something. Yeah, I'd never say that to somebody that I didn't care for. That's true. Yeah, but also you may not really like their dress, but you may just want to give them a nice compliment. Yeah. So it's like, I really like you more than necessarily the dress. I said that to you just the other day, Sienna. Yeah. And I meant it. Yeah, I meant it too. Thank you. I look better on my floor. Wow, wow. You say that, I think we know what you mean.

2:48:34What if a guy says, maybe we should take some time off from each other, you know, take a break. It means I never want to talk to anyone. And I want to go on a slave fest. Yeah. It means maybe I'm better off keeping my options open. It means maybe I've been making love to three girls since I decided to say this to you. Yeah, exactly. What about when a guy says, I am listening. He's not listening. What did you say? I almost said it again. I think it means I want you to shut up. No, no, no. Yeah, it means I really am listening to you and I don't like what I'm hearing. They say it means I'm listening, but I really don't want to get into a long emotional discussion right now. Yeah, I got the game on. Yeah, I am listening. I hear that all the time. I'm listening. Yeah, I'm listening. I wonder why we, because I can't just say that it's women, although it's probably more women. But I wonder why women pick then. I don't know. Why then? I don't know. Because we don't want to forget. We don't want to harbor it inside and get resentful. Yeah, but it's always going to be something with you guys. You're always going to be doing something. So there's never a right time to bring up something you don't want to talk about. I got it. I'll prove that incorrect. Let's hear it. You're in the car.

2:49:56What about you're in the car? You're driving or... No, you don't want that. Music loud. I have to have music loud in the car. Okay. I don't like to talk in the car. It wouldn't be music loud. It would be, look, we're in traffic. I'm trying to concentrate on the road. Are you? It's always going to be some excuse. I had a bad day. Now's the time when I got this Barney in front of me, you know? Okay. What? You're sitting down for a meal. Todd. Have a meal. Meal. Meal time is great. Meal. Is it better to have a silent meal where everyone's slamming their forks down? Babe, I'm trying to eat. Quit asking. Sometimes the kids are around at mealtime and that's not the time. You can't do it in front of kids. Yep. Okay, so here's the question I'm posing. Yeah. Serious conversation time. We must discuss this. Maybe it's this. Maybe it's this. I'm going to throw out a variety of topics that it could be that the woman wants to talk to us about. She's noticed that we drink a little bit more than normal. Like we're throwing them back. She wants to talk to them. Serious conversation about that. Which no guy. I do. No guy wants to. I said that to my husband. And no dude. No dude wants to have that guy. He just wrecked his car? No. He has no problem whatsoever. There's a Supra spinning out right now on the 5. Yeah, on the 5. The only reason I said it is because he gets to drink it. I don't. You know, so that's the only reason why I said that. You also wake him up in the middle of the night when he's sleeping because you can't. Yeah, I'm pregnant. So there you go. Get out of here. I'm pregnant. So it could be that topic. It could be, it could be, I feel, this is the woman talking.

2:51:22I feel that we don't spend enough time with one another. Okay, serious. These are serious topics. And the question is, well, when do you do it? Because guys, I agree with Woodsy. If I'm actively watching the Yankee game, that's inappropriate. That's an inappropriate time. But that begs the question, okay, so when's a good time? Here's when I like to do it, or when I did like to do it. But I think some people would disagree with me. When things are... actually okay when things are calm is the time to bring it up. You're having a great time. That worries me. If the guy's in the middle of four drinks, probably not the best time to be like, you drink too much because he's going to be on the defensive and he's going to be a little bit tipsy. I don't know. I try to pick my moments never in public, never out somewhere at somebody else's party where other people are going to be affected by it. Going out to dinner, and there's no, like, particular reason we're going out to dinner. We're getting together. And when we're kind of enjoying one another's company, be like, so there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Oh, my God. Forget it. What about in the car on the ride home? Then that would work, too. That's fine. Yeah. I never want to say it when we're in a great mood. Well, if we're like, ha, ha, ha.

2:52:37Life is great. I'm like, wait, hold on. We don't spend enough time together. You're like, what are we doing now? But I try not to bring it up during a fight because everybody's already on the defensive. So if you're already nitpicking at one another, it's never a good time to throw in. And by the way, don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't helped out around the house. And not on the phone either because they're not going to listen. Oh, I'm fine on the phone. No. Mikey prefers email. Yeah, have her email you. No. You want to get me? Get me in the shower. Text me. The next conversation I need to bring up, it's going to be like when Todd's in the bathroom and I'm going to yell through the door and he can't escape. Lock him in there. And then by the time he comes out, we've all cooled down. Let's see another one. When he says, you're just too good for me, what does he really mean when he says that to a girl? What he really means is out of every girl that I've ever been with, you're the least good for me. No. Out of every girl that I've ever dated, you're the most wrong for me. No way. Out of any of them. You're just too good for me. Just too good for me means I'm not interested. It means I want to slay other girls. Yeah. It means I need out of this relationship. 100%. Yeah. I think I'm falling in love with you.

2:53:54It means I want to sleep with you. It means I already fell in love with you. Yeah, it means I fell in love with you four weeks ago. Yeah, and I hope that you feel the same way. Nope. Wrong. Ah! What does he mean? What does he tell women that you're in love with them to sleep with them? No, Mike. I thought you said that. You tell them that you think. You think. You say, I think I'm falling in love with you. I could see myself falling in love with you. That's better. Guys, I write that down. Not as treacherous. And then the girl's like, well, let me steal the deal for you. Yeah. Guys, don't write that down. Write that down. Guys, scratch it out. Write that down. Guys, erase it. Erase it from memory. Have it laser removed. Get a tattoo on it. Works every time. No, well, they say that what a guy means when he says, I think I'm falling in love with you is, I am this close to saying the L word, but I can't bring myself to say it just yet. And when I do say it, I want to be sure you say it back. So it means like he's not ready yet. But he could be there. You know what would be really charming of a guy to say? If I tell you that I love you, are you prepared to say it back? It's charming. Can I kiss you? No, it's not. It's kind of charming. It is not charming. It's nerdy. Yeah, and it's charming in its nerdiness. I agree with you. I do think it's nerdy. Darling, I'm about to tell you that I love you. No, not darling. Would you return my love? No, not darling, and not would you return my love. That's such a scary feeling, though, saying that for the first time. You're like, are they going to say it back? Are they going to say it back? Are they going to say it back?

2:55:19Because if they don't, you're done. Yeah, if they don't say it back, you want to swim in the ocean and not stop swimming. That's right. Is it worse to say, worse to give them, like, silence or worse to say something back other than I love you? Oh, my gosh. They're both terrible. Can you imagine this? Can you imagine? Listen, I love you. Holy cow. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so I'm just saying, hypothetically, if the person doesn't say I love you back, what's worse, silence or going? Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, that's like saying, do you want to get your throat slit or do you want to get shot in the forehead? I mean, they're both terrible. How would you add it? Yeah, seriously. If you didn't love them, per se, I would think the only somewhat okay is, you know, I'm just not there yet, but I see myself falling in love. But if you're not ready, you have to say something. Hey, say it anyway.

2:56:15Even if you don't mean to say it anyway. Hell no. Don't say it anyway. Say it anyway. Don't say it. Spare their feelings. I beg you. And then change your number and move. You fade right out. I would probably do that. I have not said I love you to a girl unless I was positive she loved me. Even when you wrote it on the girl's palm of her hand? I knew she loved me. You did? I did. She didn't say it back. She did, too. She didn't know sign language, L-O-D. Mikey wrote out, I love you, on someone's palm with his index finger. With his little tiny index finger. I was a sophomore in high school. Are you? Rebecca, is that how he told you? I told Rebecca by text. That's even worse. No, no, nuh-uh. True statement. Wimp, wimp. How awful was waiting for that text back? You know what she wrote back? In eternity. She wrote back. She'll tell you this day that this is the truth. She said, you just texted me something, but it didn't all come through. She'll tell you to this day. She goes, that's 100% true. Oh, my God. Did it all come through or was she just saying that? No, she was not messing. She says, even today, she goes, that's a true statement. She goes, it didn't, like, the whole text didn't come through. Thank God she responded. What if she didn't get anything? I know.

2:57:36Oh, Mikey. Grow up. Oh, grow up. I knew it. Who does that? Grow up. Fat guys. Stop. I didn't even talk about Shark Week. I didn't talk about that. Get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get. I am yours. You are mine. Want to know how to get out of the store quicker? Don't go with me. That's number one. Seriously, I went last night. I knew Woods was irritated. I knew he was irritated. I wasn't irritated. I was laughing. You were? We made about 30 stops in the store. I like to shop. Yeah, he does. I like to browse. I like to browse. But I got some tips for you. I'm going to get out of there quick. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. I'm ready. Call 570-1949. Keep going all day. Or shoot him a text. 949Mikey at gmail.com. I guess I was a little confused about that part. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Ford's model year sales event is going on now. The boss!

2:58:38Time to get an incredible clearance price on a new Ford Edge. A crossover with the spirit of a sports car and the versatility of an SUV. With a powerful 265 horsepower engine and full flat rear seats. And optional equipment you just won't find on any other crossover. Like a panoramic vista roof and Ford's exclusive sync technology. Make a phone call, send a text message, operate your entertainment system all with simple voice commands. Right now, you can lease a new 2010 Edge SEL starting at just $2.89 per month for 39 months. Ford's Model Year sales event only happens once a year, so don't miss it. Log on to SanDiegoCountyFord.com for all the details. Ford, built for San Diego. Prices plus tax, title, and licensing fees. Not all lessees qualify for Ford Credit Red Carpet 39-month lease. Requires $2,739 due at signing. Residency restrictions apply. Lessee responsible for excess wear and mileage over 10,500 miles per year at 15 cents per mile. Take retail delivery from dealer stock by 8 to 10. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 117, Silva vs. Sonnen.

2:59:37The number one middleweight contender, Shale Sonnen. I'm not here to be number two. I'm here to be number one. I don't celebrate silver medals. I'm here for 12 pounds of gold, and I'm going to get it on August 7th. Looks to dethrone the most dominant champion of all time, Anderson the Spider Silva. Anderson wants a fight. He just found one. He's finally going to fight the number one contender. No one has come close. to defeating the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. I acknowledge that he's a fantastic fighter. He is the champion, but I am the best. Plus, John Fitch takes on Tiago Alves. Tequila Casadores presents UFC 117, Silva vs. Sonnen, live Saturday, August 7th from Oracle Arena in Oakland, California, only on Pay-Per-View. Order using your Cox remote by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. Whoa, check it out. It's the ultimate turkey and bacon avocado sub. New at Subway. Way cool. Get ready for the tastiest ride of your life. Wipe out in wave after wave of totally tender turkey and crisp, gnarly bacon. Long, lean, and sizzling hot. Whoa.

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3:04:48Happy Shark Week starts tonight at 9 Eastern Pacific on Discovery. On the 67 northbound in Poway between Poway Road and Lakeside Avenue, pretty slow this morning. Also some congestion on the 52 westbound between Mass Boulevard and Santo Road. Some slowing through Encinitas on the 5 southbound between La Costa Avenue and Manchester Avenue. This report brought to you by CarMax. CarMax will buy your car today even if you don't buy one from them. That's why the smart choice is always CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen. FM 94.9. KBZC San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The auto-tune stuff is great. You love it. Oh, I can't get enough of it. I think it sounds great in my ears. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? Wood. Dude, do you know that I've ripped sheets with my toenails before? Sienna. We're going to a nice place downtown La Jolla on Prospect. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbor. On FM 94.9. Our boy Jared is real good as a graphic designer, man. You want to know, just go to createyourdesignonline.com. You've heard me talk about Jared, and he is amazing. High-end printing for the masses, man. It's good. He does everything. He'll do your website. He did our billboard. He does bumper stickers. He can do business cards. Really, really good. Createyourdesignonline.com. Check it out. Ryan Wilson.

3:06:29was a musical genius. It's unparalleled to me. Real good. Five people on The Mikey Show, myself, Woods, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. Welcome back to the program. So, how do I get out of the store quicker? And it's more than just quicker. It's just kind of like tips when you go to the grocery store to know. I bet I have one. What? Be full. Don't go there hungry. It's the greatest tip of all time. You know what else? Make a list. Exactly. Gotta have a list. Isn't it the worst when you come home and you get everything to make a dinner and you forget like the vanilla extract? Like this is something that you never think you need. And you have to have. Yeah. Oh, that's the worst. Okay. Well, they say if you want to get out of a grocery store quick, choosing a lane obviously is key. They say... They say pick the one with the fewest people. Really? As opposed to all those folks that go, I want to pick the one with the most people. Let me finish. Even if their carts are filled. So if there's three people in line and they all have...

3:07:35full carts and there's five people in the next line, but they're only buying like one thing each, you may think the five person line is going to go quicker. But no, the one with the full carts is going to go faster because it takes three seconds to scan each item less than that. And how long does it take people to run their credit card, to do their coupons? That's true. Wait, what do you do? Oh, I forgot to get cash back. Can I do it again? You know, I got stuck behind the other day at CVS. Coupon lady. And I mean, it was. I'm not exaggerating, guys. I was standing behind her for, I think I clocked it seven and a half minutes. That is a long time to stay. And she's arguing about this coupon. Oh, yeah. A coupon for like 40 cents. That is terrible. And I upset people. I'm glad you know. Why? Because the following phrase has to be said to me every single time. Hit the green button. Oh, yeah. Every time. And every time I'm embarrassed, instantly shamed when she says it. And I'm like, I know that. I know that. Well, it's a different. I actually talked about this in my stand up. It's a different procedure at every store. It's like and it's no longer the clerk's job to check you out. It's your job to go do that when it comes to the transaction part. Yeah. It's like you got to hit the green button.

3:08:55Then you get an answer. Couldn't be more distracting. Cash back. Is it okay to put it all on the card? Yeah, there's all kinds of bits now. Oh, no. Debit or credit. You know what I mean? Yeah, debit or credit. Like, you never know. It's going to be different at every one. I swear, if I go to CVS one more time and they ask me if I have a CVS card, and then they make me look up with the phone number, I'm like, here's my bit. Ask me. Do you have a CVS card? No, my wife does. Okay, would you like one? No, actually, I'm good. And then they asked me to bid. Phone number. Yeah, here it is. Oh, it's not in there. Okay, cool. Well, can we just hurry this along? They're trying to save you money. I got $10 off a purchase there. I don't care. I just want to go. Maybe you got a CVS car. Maybe not. My husband calls me every time he's in line at Vaughn's and says, what's a Vaughn's club number again? And I'm like, are you seriously in line right now? He's making that call. Quick, quick, what's a Vaughn's club number? If I was standing behind a dude, calling his wife, asking that number, I would be staring at him. With my jaw dropped open. I know. Do you know what? I have the number in my phone because it's my old...

3:09:52roommate's phone number. I haven't gotten one for myself. And so I have it in my phone. So every time I go to like Vons or Ralph's and go to the checkout, I have to bring out my phone. I always feel like the D that's like trying to text and check out. Because you are. I know, but I'm really not. All I'm doing is looking at the number. Get a little post-it. Pull that out. No, when you're loading the conveyor belt, they say place frozen and refrigerated items on the belt first so that the cold stuff is huddled together and it keeps it cold. G-I-T. What do you mean? I always categorize my stuff. I've never, ever. But it's smart. It's smart now that you think about it. Asparagus? No, I do. I put all the produce together, all the frozen stuff together. I put the eggs and the bread at the last point on the conveyor belt. It's smart to do it like that, though. Yeah, just empty the thing. Me too, as quick as I can. Gosh darn, get me out of here. No, then they crush your eggs and your bread. Yeah, exactly. I'm looking out for myself. Mike and I went to Stater Brothers last night and we were in there for a good, what? Half hour. Half hour and 45 minutes. Yeah. What were you guys doing? I like to browse. This is their song. Oh.

3:11:03Did you guys hold hands in the frozen food aisle? We did piggyback rides up and down. We did cart races. We played chicken with the carts. Did you draw hearts on the frozen food store? With your initials inside? M-E loves S-W-E. Forever. Okay, but Lauren is very smart to put all the frozen stuff together because another tip is when you put the groceries back in your car, you always want to have the frozen stuff on the outside so that it gets unloaded first. True story. I do it all at the same time. It's my story in my life. And then when you get home, you have the bag right there with all the frozen stuff. Yeah. Right to the fridge. I'm the guy that takes 70 bags in each hand. Me too. And I'm like, over the door. Get the door. Yeah. I am too. I want one trip. I do not let go. That's right. And I have to lift.

3:11:53a bag to hit the garage door opener to close it. I'm like punching the garage door closer. And then, you know, the Achilles heel in the back of the trunk, there's always like two cases of bottled water. You're like, oh my God, I don't want to get that frigging water. I'm like, Jamie, you get the water. They're like, I have to hire a Sherpa to help me bring in all of my groceries. You have like the big, huge thing of paper towels. You're balancing it on your head. Babe, can you grab that? My wife is like, I don't know, is it that bad to make one more trip out there? I'm like, no, I will do it all in one trip. Yeah, what is it about that? And I hear, like, my mom used to, she used to come home and honk her horn when she came home from the grocery store, and it meant that all the kids had to come out and help with the bags and everything. And I would be walking and trying to get all of them, and she would go, don't be a hero. Because it would, oh, almost. Every time. If someone did that, it would rip. I hear my mom's voice when I'm coming out of the car with like 18 bags. I'm like, don't be a hero. You sure you don't hear other mother? Don't be a hero. My mom's alter ego.

3:13:05How long, when you go to the grocery store, how long do you think you have to get home before the cold stuff goes back? Ten minutes. Stop. I feel like I have to raise that home. Move it, dude. I got Sherbert back here. Like, I bought some popsicles when I went last time, and I was like a NASCAR driver. I don't want those things to lose their shape. Milk freaks me out. Santa's air drafting other cars. I live five minutes from the grocery store and I was like hauling ass. I found a Costco that's somewhat near the house and in my mind when we passed it I go yeah I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to be able to get there. Get what I need and get home before it goes rotten. What about, have you ever seen the people, like, I was outside the bank recently, and I saw a girl with her full groceries in her car, and then she went in the bank. You're like, are you nuts? Are you high? Is there milk back there? Are you nuts? You're crazy. Are you high on marijuana cigarettes? You can't do that. You should have seen me. When I lived in Chicago, I didn't have a car. And, you know, you still have to grocery shop. You're still going to eat running down the street, like, with ice cream. I'm like, in the middle of summer, it's 105 degrees. I'm like, I'm like.

3:14:26You can do this, dude. You can do this. It's like 10 blocks to my house. You get home like... Ice cream's all soft. Oh, that's the worst. It's so funny, too, because it's not like you're going to get home and start feasting on Mitch on the trip the minute you walk in. Aren't you? I do. I start in the car. Oh my gosh. With your fingers, you're like... It's so hot. I went the other day, I went to Dairy Queen. I found a Dairy Queen and I got a dip cone and those suckers, you got about a 45 second window before it's all over you. It's a drip cone. I inhaled this thing in 15 seconds. I was like, oh, I bit the whole time of it off and then ate the cone. There's nothing worse than ice cream that's like running on your hand. No, there's nothing worse. Warm. Summertime. How come when you're a kid you don't care? You can care less. You have it all over you. Yeah. You're a kid, you can care less. As an adult, you don't want one drop to hit you or you feel like you're a dirty pig. My day's gone. You're licking your elbows. Oh, yeah. You don't care. You're like sucking it off of your t-shirt. Exactly. I still do that. I know. I do too. You can lick your elbows. You got any other ones? Oh.

3:15:42Let's see. Are there any good ones? The super slow self-checkout lane. If you're going to do the self-checkout, don't do it if you're having alcohol or you're buying it because then you have to wait for the person to come check your ID and everyone behind you hates you. You know what else? Produce. Do not buy produce. You have to look up the PLU. Oh, my God. Or if you go to Home Depot, if you get any paint or stuff with chemicals in it, they have to be 18 or older to get it now. Oh, my gosh. I have a deal here of, is there anything worse than? I love it. You can call with these if you have them, by the way, 570-194-9, because we love hearing yours. Anything worse than realizing the chips are stale? Oh. Cereal. Yeah. Crackers. Small teens. You go in there and you're, because you have it in your head. It's what I want right now. Yeah. And you take a Dorito and you put it in your mouth and it's soft. You don't hear the crunch. And there's no crunch. And it hurts, sadness. You're hurt. The thing that I do is if I had it in my mind that I was going to eat those, I power through. And every bite, I'm like, oh, no way. I do not power through on stale food. No, I'm a little baby, and I throw a fit. I did it with cereal the other day, and I actually poured the milk in, got the bowl, everything ready, and you go take a bite, and it was like...

3:17:04And I was like, ruined milk. Done. Now I got to wash the bowl. Yeah. Done. Ruined. Anything worse than going anywhere and they're out of the one product that you use. So if it's deodorant, you go, they're out. And you see the empty spot in the deal. So they have like all the other weird brands. Yeah. I stare at it for a while. I'll keep thinking it's going to appear. Oh, me too. I know it's here. I know it's here. I know it's here. I go on weekly trips to find my Copenhagen long cut. This is San Diego, not Texas, where it grows on trees there. I'm like driving from gas station to gas station to gas station. It kills me. Well, the next thing I have on the list is going somewhere else to get said item, and they're out too. Once a week at least. I would cry. Oh, yeah. You want to. You want to go to sleep and wake up. Two strikes and you're like, I'm done. Yeah, forget it. I'm done. Like you and your penguins, your little British cookies you love so much. Such a disappointment. Anything worse than forgetting your wallet? Oh, dude. So mad. And you have to be that. You know how many times I've been like, I've done it like on a night out or going somewhere where you're like, hey, bro, you're going to have to get my lunch today, too, because I forgot my wallet. I think it's like, I've done it where I...

3:18:21I go grocery shopping for the week. Yeah. And then I get to the register and I'm like, son of a... That is my worst fear in life. You bail. Yeah. M1 Ron from El Cajon, you got one? Yeah. It's bad. It's even worse than the cereal going bad. Yep. Yep. It's disgusting. Being worse than bad milk, you go in there, you think it's fine. Take a big hearty bite. Oh. Never. I smell it. So... I'm like a sommelier with wine. Sometimes you smell it. You can't... I fully get that there's a little rancid aftertaste. It's so gross. That ain't right. It's the worst when the milk is bad, too, and you still have, like, a week left on the expiration date. I'm like, what? You ever do the talking, too? You go, I think so. Yeah, I think that's, yep. I mean, there's something there, but I think I'm fine. I squeeze the sides of it so I can loft it. Babe, what do you think about this? Does it smell okay? Does it smell good? Is there anything worse than...

3:19:17realizing that you forgot to put your sheets in the dryer. It's 1030 at night. All you want is to go to bed. You just want to sleep. And you've got to wait. That is the worst. You've got to wait. Yeah, or you sleep on the mattress pad. Yeah. And you know what? Inevitably, you know what you do? You get impatient. You sleep on damp sheets. A damp sheet. Or a towel. Or a blanket down and sleep on a blanket. That's awful. That's the worst. Dank. Sheets. Musty basement in your bed. I would rather sleep on a bear mattress than dang sheets. No, I'd actually sleep on a bear. An actual bear mattress. Mattress made of bears. Kim likes to wait until I'm about to go up to bed. I'm like, okay, I put it off long enough. I got to go to bed. I get up there and there's nothing on the bed. Really? Really, Kim? I know it. Maybe you make the bed yourself. You know who does? I go sleep in Jasper's bed. Anything worse than coming home and finding out that your dog's gotten into something and the something is everywhere? Yeah, garbage. Got us yesterday. Day before. Garbage? Yep. Yep. We had a little barbecue left over in there and he decided he wanted to get in there and get a taste. Oh, gosh. Garbage everywhere. It's the worst. I get so mad. Anything worse than helping somebody move? No.

3:20:27There is nothing worse. Maybe that's the worst. That is numero uno. Them asking you. Them asking you. Having to move yourself is probably worse than helping. Moving. Moving is the worst thing in the world. If you're helping someone, you can be like, all right, I lifted. I'm out. You know? No, you can't. You've got to help them move. I had two buddies that helped me move from my... Department here from North Park, M1 Sanjaya, and M1 Winder, they helped me move. I felt like the biggest turd. Winder got a parking ticket that day. I paid it. I paid it. I was like, dude, I'm paying it. And I tried to get them launched, but I forgot my wallet. Oh, my gosh. Two horses. But I'm saying if you can move, you physically move the stuff when you're helping, when it's your place, you still have the, okay, it's in here. Now I got to unpack it. I know. The unpack bit. I kind of like the unpack bit. Not me. Moving's the worst. You put everything exactly where you want it. I want to find a house and live there for the rest of my life. I never want to move again. It makes me wonder, like, thank goodness that there are people willing to be a mover for a living. Like, they're doing for a living what we can't stand to do. That's what they do. They should make more money, those people. They should make more money. They should make 500 grand a year for that job. It's awful. M1 Kyle from PB. Are you there? Oops.

3:21:45I just hung up on two people simultaneously. Is there anything worse than hanging up on two great calls? M1 Public from Carlsbad? Hey, what's up? Is there anything worse than going into a movie theater and it's freezing from the AC and you forget your jacket? Yeah. And you've got to sit through two hours. You're stuck. It's painful. You may like the movie, but you're freezing cold. How about this? It's like every day at work for me. Going into a movie theater and it's full. It's a full search for two seats. Maybe get there early. Is it like... I would. I do. I'll get there early. I'll sit 45 minutes. I usually get there like five minutes after it says it's going to start because I don't want to see the previews. Drives me crazy to see that person walking in. Drives me crazy. When the previews are on or the movies... Oh, this is the worst. This is the worst. Five minutes after. The credits are rolling. And from the moment the credits roll, I'm in the experience. I am now in the movie experience. And somebody is looking for a seat. See, I'm rarely... If I'm that person, I'm embarrassed. But I usually get there like... I strategically time it so I'm like in the middle of the previews.

3:22:59I love the previews. Me too. I do too. There's too many now. There is. You don't enjoy them? There's commercials. I used to. Yeah, now it's like next week on How Annoying House. How Annoying is the one where they're making sure your cell phone's off and they make a whole fake movie. And there's the opera lady singing into the phone. You said turn your cell phone. I know. Do we really need this full production right now? 570-1949 if you got one. M1 Trav from La Mesa. How you doing? Yeah. I'm pretty much a caveman. And so this is actually a call from my wife. But she'll go to the grocery store, have like a whole week's worth of groceries. And she'll go to the counter and be ready to pay. And I've got her ATM card. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're dead, man. She's already shopped. She's got a basket full of stuff. Oh, she'll kill you. Oh, she'll kill you. Yeah. Kill you. Let's kill you. It's scanned. It's in bags. What do you do when that happens? My husband's an a-hole and took my debit card. That's a good one. M1 Winder's got a great one. What's up, Winder? What's up, guys? You got a good one. Nothing worse than driving home. Every red light you hit, you got to file papers. Daily basis for me.

3:24:20There's no TP. And you're like, oh, my God. So I'm in there grabbing, like, cotton out of vitamin bottles. There's no toilet paper. That is fantastic. You're taking the cotton off Q-tips. That's fantastic. Filling off wallpaper. Using the actual roll. Thank you, Winder. The cardboard roll. Whatever works. Bullet Boys. Woodsy said this to me this morning. I go, I've never heard of Bullet Boys. Get out of town. A Snooki from the Jersey Shore got arrested. Weird. Tell you, for what? And she really embarrassed herself when she got arrested. Like, this is... Was it arrested for being awesome or no? She probably thinks so. For being orange. We'll tell you next. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amethy of the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Scion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wigs. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit.

3:25:58That's by Local 94.9 Stage. The silent comedy, the nervous records of burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets for $30 today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at fm949sd.com or independencejam.com. Eight fans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Honest Tea. Rolling Stone says my morning jacket is fast becoming one of the premier live bands on the planet. Wake it up! We'll be right back.

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3:28:14Take the kids to school and make sure Jamie has her book report. Fight the traffic late to meeting. Compliment the boss's hair. Sit at keyboard. Check my email. Start to type. I'm slowing down. Need a lift? Go to McDonald's. Real fruit smoothies, wow, that's new. Juicy strawberries, sweet bananas, low-fat yogurt, yummy lift. Back to office, send a JPEG, R-O-T-F-L-O-L. Sip my smoothie, work is groovy. Day is done, I'm out of here. Fruitify your day with McDonald's new real fruit smoothies. Strawberry banana or wild berry. They're a luscious lift any time of day. And they start at just $2.29. Home from work, the couch is mine. Time to get a good night's sleep. Get a text from Rachel. Meet at Mickey D's for a girl's night out. Price and participation may vary. Every morning at McDonald's, you can enjoy two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for just $3.50. Great breakfast value and the great taste of savory sausage, melted cheese, and fresh cracked eggs. The sausage McMuffin with egg, just two for $3.50 every morning at McDonald's.

3:30:13See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Have you been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes? If so, you may be eligible to participate in a clinical research study comparing the effects of an investigational long-acting insulin and FDA-approved Lantus or insulin glargine on blood glucose levels at Profil Institute for Clinical Research. You may qualify if you have been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, are between 18 and 65 years of age, and are currently controlling condition with Lantus or insulin glargine. This study will... require four overnights and a total of 10 outpatient visits. If you qualify and choose to participate, you may be compensated up to $3,400. For more information, call 1-866-245-5921. Once again, Profil Institute is looking for type 1 diabetics between the ages of 18 and 65 years old who are currently controlling condition with Lantus or insulin glargine and otherwise healthy. Call Profil at 1-866-245-5921 to see if you qualify. That's 1-866-245-5921. AT&T presents Last Will and Testament for a Monday morning. To my dear snooze button, I leave 15 minutes of my morning. To my misplaced car keys, I leave 13 minutes. To the rubberneckers, slowing down to check out an overheated radiator, I leave 45 minutes. To the office parking lot, now packed because I'm late, I leave 12 minutes.

3:31:39And to my work email box, frantically checked as I trot through the office lobby, I leave whatever measly seconds are left over. Don't lose another second. Go online and download at blazing fast speeds. The fastest 3G network in San Diego and across the nation. AT&T. Rethink. Possible. Come in now and buy a new HTC Aria for $129.99 after mail-in rebate. Pay due $29.99 and receive a $100 AT&T promotion card. Two-year wireless service agreement with voice plan and minimum $50. Fremont Street Experience in downtown Las Vegas presents Summer of the 70s Music Festival with free nightly concerts. Go to VegasExperience.com for info. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. I'm so scared of authority, so I start crying. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. Sienna. I'm a big girl now. Got married, having a baby. Now I can rent a car. Yeah, like long, soft kisses. Whatever. On FM 94.9. Bit of distortion on the guitar. Distortion. That's right. Producing the record. I'll say it.

3:32:58Let's put a bit of extortion on it. I like it. Meet and greet August 13th. If you want to meet the Mikey Show, we'd love to meet you. We're going to be out at the Tipsy Crow. It's in Fifth Avenue downtown. Fun place to hang. And they're going to have some specials too for you. For instance, they're going to do the Mikey Show free app Friday. So you buy a drink, even if it's non-alcoholic, and you get a free select appetizer. So it's going to be good. Come down and feast with us. Yeah. And get some food. And get some food. Can rub the enormous belly. That's right. Right before the due date. And you can see Sienna's belly. There you go. Don't forget Independence Jams on sale. August 29th is the date of it. And 30 bucks gets you the show. No extras. No extra costs. It's pretty cool. So get in on Independence. Our door. Our door. It's a haunted house. Squeakiest door ever. Independence Jams. Sounds like the Blair Witch Project. So, Shark Week kicked off yesterday. In fact, I just saw on TV there was a Great White in Massachusetts. Yeah, it's been spotted a couple times. I don't know if it's the same one, but I heard a few weeks ago of them talking about one. Yeah, but they did. How about that? They tagged him now, so now we have an eye on him. Probably because the water's warm. Great. Probably. Maybe they did. Go somewhere else. Hey, man. Probably good news for us. The water's still cold. Maybe they go way out in the thing, so I can...

3:34:28Not fear for my life every time I get on my board. If we weren't consuming so much sushi and things like that, commercial fishing wouldn't force them to the shore. Is that what it is? I don't know. Well, Shark Week started. Yesterday. Shark Week's great on Discovery Channel, man. So great. What, Woods? Dude, they've been doing this thing for 20 years. What do they find out more than they did 20 years ago? No, it's not what they find out. It's what you get to see. So cool. You get to see rad shark stuff. Attacks. Cool, yeah. Awesome. You get to see them do the seals and they throw seals in the air and they play catch with them. Good for the seals. The one thing I don't like when they do the reenactments, like things that didn't, it's not actual footage. Right. It's like dramatic. They did one where it was like the soldiers on like a war war. World War II ship got blown up or something. It's the USS Indianapolis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scary. And they had them being like, I just can't make it. And it was like so dramatic. Oh, I like all of it. I'm fascinated by the Indianapolis because my dad knows a guy that was on it. No. And I just bought it. Yeah, Survivor. Just bought a book about the Indianapolis. And hearing those guys talk about it. All of those guys stuck in the water with great whites all around them. Well, it was Tiger Shark. Yeah.

3:35:45Still could get you. Still terrible. Oh, yeah. But if you didn't die from dehydration, you're going to get sharks nibbling at you. The guy I heard talking about it, he said some of those dudes, they all knew, can't drink it, can't drink that water. But some of them, they got desperate. They're thirsty. And they started doing stuff like thinking that they'd be okay. They started trying to drink it through t-shirts. And that ain't going to help. But they were so desperate, they did. Sometimes those sharks come cruising. You start beating and hammering on the sharks. And sometimes the sharks, they go away. Sometimes they don't go away. That's the story from that movie, right? That's the story they're talking about. Quint tells the story. What else? What do they say? So what do they give you some? They gave me the five biggest misconceptions about sharks. And one, people think that sharks are stupid. I don't. Which is false. I respect you if you're listening. I respect you. Don't eat me. They're not dumb? No. They are not dumb. From a young age, great whites. How do they know? They give an IQ test? They ask them math. They learn how to hunt seals. No, they're talking about great whites in this particular one. But say from a young age that they learn to hunt seals by ambushing them from below and then launching into the air. See, I call that instinct. Yeah, they just, they know to do it. I call it scared to death.

3:37:07They are actually outsmarting the seals and have a 50% success rate, which is better than lions and a lot of the other predators. Sharks are man eaters. So that's false. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, they're not. They don't have interest in people. They're just looking to eat. They make a mistake. They want seals. Maybe I get a hot pink wetsuit. So I don't look like a fat seal. Some, you know. What if that pink looks like blonde? Yeah. What if they're colorblind? They need a lime green wetsuit. That'd look sharp. What if it looks like a big lure? They say don't wear watches, don't wear jewelry. The shiny stuff attracts them. What if it looks like a big avocado and then all of a sudden Mikey's all over you? I'm like, oh my gosh, what is that? I don't know what it is, but I got to take a bite out of it. That would make a sweet guacamole. Think of the dip I could make. Some people call sharks swimming noses because their smell is what, you know, attracts them to blood and everything else. But they also have excellent eyesight, including color vision. Their hearing is really good. And they have all kinds of senses. You know what I found out on Shark Week? What? A shark can sense blood in the water. They can sense an eye drop.

3:38:26of blood in the water from two miles away. Holy cow. That's insane. Two miles away. When I got my surfing injury, when I broke the tip of my finger, it was pouring blood. And I was in the water, pouring blood. Like squirting out of my finger. Oh my gosh. Were you freaked out? Yes. Yes. Some people think a shark will eat anything, which is false. They actually... Don't like tuna sandwiches, actually. No, but they have their favorite foods, like... Brioche. Creme brulee. Yeah, creme brulee is their favorite. Ribs. They also like, yeah. They like French toast made of brioche bread. No, but we also said, you know, obviously seals. But then during other months, when seals... You know what's weird? They like carnitas quesadillas, which is so weird. During the winter when they don't see seals as often, they change their diet to fish, stingrays, all kinds of rays, and other sharks. Smaller sharks. Maybe they all get. Maybe we build a big fence. Maybe we build a big fence. I love sharks. I love sharks. I do. They're fascinating. I made a children's play about, and it was a parallel between Goldilocks and the three bears. I'm sorry. Stop. What?

3:39:40Shouldn't poke fun. I shouldn't have laughed when you said that you once did a play about sharks. Did you write it? I wrote it. Do you have it? Yes, I have it. It's Goldilocks. I'm sorry. It's the mermaid and the three sharks instead of Goldilocks and the three bears. Can we act it out on the air? Yeah. I have a video of it. Maybe we play it. Maybe we can post it. I did all three voices of the sharks. Is that what you said? Papa shark sounded like this. Oh, we have to post this video. Mama shark sounded like this. She's from Jersey. Oh, my gosh. How old were you? How high were you? Last year. Was it last year? Wait, wait. It was last year? I thought you were going to be like sixth grade. Yeah, me too. My sister and I were going to be like little traveling entertainers at schools. Then she got pregnant. Did you send this to me? Yeah, don't play it, Mike. 100% play it. Wait, what? I sent you that. In confidence. You have the shark audio? I sent you that. I have it. I'm looking. I have it somewhere. You are a traitor. Wait, why did you send it to him? Because I was trying to show him what I was doing when he found me. And you're like, well, I wrote a play about sharks and mermaids, actually. There was a whole lot of tricks up my sleeve. Oh, a lot of odd jobs. Keep talking. Tell me something else. Mike Esparza. Please. Play it.

3:41:02That was sent to you in confidence. I know. Keep talking about something else. Okay, well, I have the last shark misconception, and it's that sharks don't get cancer. I guess there's a lot of people. Oh, yeah, I've always thought that. No, but there's people that make shark cartilage pills. Yes. And I guess you take it to, you know, they're suggesting that it cures cancer. I've heard that. That's not true. Well, I'm glad that that's debunked. Shark cartilage pills. That's a weird sounding. I don't know if I want to take that. I have it here and I'll find it. Keep looking. Do you want me to talk about Snooki? Yeah, talk about Snooki. Oh yeah, Snooki got arrested. Snooki from the Jersey Shore was arrested over the weekend. If you don't know Snooki, the Jersey Shore is a reality show that takes place in Jersey. And this girl is... Ridiculous. She's an Indian. Her name's Nicole Polizzi, I think. Oh! Yeah, but anyway, she was out. She was drinking. Why do they call her Snooki? That was her nickname. She's like a self-proclaimed nickname. Yeah. She always wears little skimpy outfits. She drinks everywhere she goes. A whole scene every time she goes anywhere. Exactly. So she got arrested by basically being drunk in public. And what she told the cops and was screaming out loud for everyone to hear was...

3:42:19You can't tell me what to do. I'm Snooki. Do you know who I am? I'm effing Snooki. You can't do this to me. I'm effing Snooki. Life in prison. You guys are going to be sorry for this. Life in prison. Life in prison. Release me. Punishment to defend the crime. I should get out of jail free, Cod. I'm Snooki. Wow. Yeah, life in prison for that bro. Easily. Off their head. What is, like, who actually thinks it's okay to say that? I'm Snooki. It's a made-up name. Don't you know who I am? I'm still looking. Mike. Find it. I have it, you guys. I have it. Stop. I have it. We had a whole intro song and everything that I wrote. Oh, my gosh. And you recorded it? Yes. I played the keyboard and my sister played it. Okay, wait. I need to go back a little bit. So you and your sister are talking one day, and you're like, I have a great idea. Yeah. We should put on a play about mermaids and sharks. How high were you guys when you guys were talking? Our names were Sunny and Sky. Oh, that's how I can find it. No! That's how I'll find it. Okay. And so then you guys are like, and we could go to like kids' schools and put this on. What was the message? It was going to be all about environmental awareness and like ocean education. Oh, okay. That's good. And we're going to use...

3:43:38existing little fairy tales out there that kids knew but changed them to an ocean theme. And we did. And we were going to be... Did you practice it? Yeah. You guys like had it down. Oh, we had rehearsals and everything. And then one day she called you and was like, so sorry, Lauren. She's like, I don't think pregnant mermaid is the best message for kids. Lesson for kids. Were you going to find a replacement? I thought about it. And then I was like, maybe I should let this dream die out. Oh my gosh. Mike, he is looking furiously. Furiously. Lauren, do you have it somewhere? Yeah, I have it. Then you pull it up because he's not going to stop. We only performed it once, actually twice in public, and it received smashing reviews. Oh, you performed it? Yeah. Once at a school, once at a farmer's market. EBW was there. Once at a school, once at a farmer's market. Shocking. That's fantastic. We were dead serious. I'll keep looking. I'll find it. We have to go to commercials anyway, so. Okay. We will have that. Lauren, you may need to find it yourself. Maybe we'll find it. Never. We're finding it. Come back, and we'll come back and probably have it. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. LCD Sound System with Hot Chip. Coming to Remac Arena Wednesday, October 13th. Don't miss LCD Sound System October 13th. Oh, no, no, no, no.

3:45:42It's on sale August 6th at 10 a.m. at the Remak Arena box office. Ticketmaster.com or by phone at 800-745-3000. You are so hard to read. I am? I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. It's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are blue on the labels. No guessing. What? Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Saturday, August 7th, don't miss your chance to get a free Del Mar pint glass set featuring the queen of racing, thoroughbred superstar Zenyatta. Free with racetrack admission. Friends on Facebook are spreading the word about Ovation Cell Therapy. All over the world, Facebook friends are sharing stories how they've repaired dry, brittle, and damaged hair. How their hair has grown thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Up to twice as fast. And is healthy again. By simply using Ovation Cell Therapy. Angela T. tells her Facebook friends. I've been using Ovation for about six weeks and I have to say this is hands down the best.

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3:47:52with everything you need for a perfect wedding, including a spectacular bridal fashion show by Gretchen Productions. A lot of those dresses that I've actually seen in magazines and I've wanted to try them on, so now I know where I can go and put them on. I like the dresses a lot. I thought the dresses were beautiful. The little children's outfits were absolutely adorable. Plus, you can register to win a pair of diamond earrings from John Franklin Jewelers. The Bridal Bazaar, Sunday, August 8th at the San Diego Convention Center. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. If your heart's in it, this is the place to be. You're listening to Reese's Radio. Reese's news time is now. Chocolate takes the snap. Peanut butter. In the studio with us is peanut butter today, hooking up with dark chocolate. It's great to have you guys here. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know if chocolate runs for office, he's going to pick peanut butter as his running mate. This request goes out from peanut butter to chocolate. Best friends forever. Reese's Radio has been sponsored by the new Reese's Dark Cup, the perfect pairing of peanut butter and dark chocolate. And you can find Reese's Dark Cup at your favorite store, which is perfect because you'll be shopping there anyway. Reese's Dark Cup is the perfect pairing of peanut butter and dark chocolate. So head over to the candy aisle and stock up on Reese's Candy. You got to want more perfect in your life, right? And what better way to do it than with some tasty Reese's Dark Cups? Hey, when you're at the store, make sure you look for specially marked packages of Reese's Candy for your chance to win instant cash.

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3:50:46Save over $11 each on tickets when you buy a four-pack online. Only available at knots.com. If you are a Time Warner Cable customer, here are some facts you need to know. ESPN's current agreements with Time Warner Cable will expire on September 2nd. And they may stop carrying your favorite ESPN networks. You don't need to be put in the middle. So, we are working hard to reach an agreement. In the meantime, know that you do have choices. There are other providers available to you. Five I Have Choices. Or go to IHaveChoices.com. KBZC San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show. With Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. And I like fried chicken. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is Arcade Fire, The Suburbs. I'm still trying to find... This video that Lauren sent me of her and her sister doing a little kid play as a shark. I made the sharks myself. Out of? Foam core. Foam core. I drew them. Foam core? Yeah. What is foam core? It's kind of like poster board with like a half an inch of foam in between. Where would you buy that? Michaels? I bought it at FedEx Kinko's. First I drew the sharks on like...

3:52:35Eight and a half by 11 paper. Then I took them to Kinko's and got them blown up to like three foot size. Did you spray paint it? I used an acrylic based paint. Look at you. Yeah, she doesn't spray paint. It's bad for the environment. You know there's too much PRC. She actually pureed berries that she found and painted. It was a vegetable based dye. She made sure she ate the berries afterward. She ate the puree and she used a grass paintbrush that she made because the other ones used. Hair. Animal hair. Grass stalk paintbrush. Yeah. With not real wood. It was actually... It was wheat grass. It was wheat. It was dried wheat. Dried wheat dipped in pureed berries. Yep. Was the paint. She made sure that when she dried that out, she was able to wipe with it because that would be wrong to just throw it out. And then she used it for cooking. Compost and cook. No, it was not a very environmentally friendly project. They caught a lobster in New England. Denny Ingram caught this. Yeah, Denny. Local lobster guy over there. He works out of Gloucester. Gloucester. Gloucester, man. Yeah, this lobster is insane. I'll show you guys a picture, but it's... No, no, no. The lobster actually lost its mind. He's insane. He's insane. Just claws everywhere.

3:53:56It's one in 30 million, this lobster. Well, yeah, one in 30 million. It was golden on top and bright yellow on the sides. And he saved the lobster, not eating it or anything like that. If you stick in hot water, be red. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Real quick. The yellow even? And delicious. Yeah, it tastes real sweet and butter. Well, no one in the area had ever seen anything like it, although it was not unheard of. They knew that some sort of lobster like this did exist. on display right now in a little water aquarium, I'm sure. You know what the lobster keeps saying? What? Take a picture. It'll last longer. It'll last longer. Quit looking at me. You've never seen a yellow lobster before? You've never seen me? You've never seen anything like me? Great. Why don't you leave me alone? I'm not a freak. I'm not your freak. Circus freak. I'm not some kind of circus freak. Well, this lobster's on display at the Fisherman's Co-op.

3:54:52The state's pier in Newport. And it's about a pound and a quarter. And later it's expected to be donated to the aquarium. Somebody just came in our haunted house. I know. It's hard to keep talking without being sweet. Look at this. It's a big lobster. Yeah, it's just hard to tell from a black and white photo of a brightly colored. You can imagine. I'm trying to imagine. Yeah, it looks like a lobster. Yeah, there you go. Use a highlighter. Highlight it. There you go. Highlight it. Oh, my gosh. Look at that lobster, you guys. It's like neon. Are you crazy, that yellow lobster? I'm Googling, okay? Our printer is not the greatest. That lobster looks pretty big. You want to know something? What? They're in Boston. I bet it's 20 degrees warmer than it is. At least. At least. 570-1949. Hillary, where do you stand on this weather? Are you liking it or do you wish that we had warm summer weather? I actually like it because when it gets really hot in San Diego, we don't have air conditioning in our house and it gets borderline unbearable at our house. Really? Even at night. Like the falling asleep, that's the worst. Just sweating. We have ceiling pants, whatever.

3:56:16But, yeah, so I'm actually kind of happy. We have AC at my house, and I'm petrified to turn it on because I'm afraid what the bill's going to be. So I'm like, don't turn it on. And our daughter has, like, an ear. She ruptured her eardrums because she can't swim. So if it was hot. It's so hard. Yeah, and we can't take her to the beach because she loves the ocean. So, yeah, I'm in. There you go. Although it freaks me out, whatever it means, what's happening. Yeah, who knows? I don't know, but I'm ready for the warm weather. Okay, so askmen.com. It's been making news because they do this deal called the Great Male Debate where they ask a bunch of questions. It's a male survey. It's pretty interesting because they ask a bunch of guys these questions. And it's interesting to see what the male mind thinks. They asked a bunch of men. At what age does a woman start to lose their looks? This is a man's opinion, they say, for a man. Okay, now here is... I can guess. Never. Here are the options. Is it 40 years old? Is it 50 years old? Is it never? Is it 30 years old? Is it 60, 20, or 18? Oh, boy. Now, is this...

3:57:46See, what I imagined is just when they start to look older. This is the way that the question was posed, which is important. The question was posed to men this way. At what age do women start losing their looks? I would say most of them said 50. I would say never because my mom is over 50 and looks great. I know, but your mom's an anomaly. Don't you think that the way that your mom looks, your mom's gorgeous. She's a beautiful lady. She's really, really pretty. Yeah. And I think that most people, when they find out that your mom is her age, are shocked. They are. And so it's, you know what I mean? You got to think. This is like guys of all ages answering this survey. I'd say 50. 50, I think, is a very, very popular answer. But the leading answers came for the age. Sienna just mouthed it. I know. I knew it. I didn't want to say it. 40. Yeah. That's what they say. 32% of men that answered the questions. Now, what you cannot take into account is that there's always going to be, there's always going to be, like, your mom is different. Yeah. You know, she's just got genetics. Look at Heather Locklear. My old lady's going to be, my old lady, my wife is going to be put in next year in September, and she still has a dime, so. Well, absolutely, and there's always women that are like that, but I think,

3:59:15In men's eyes, and it's just from things that I've heard is like after 40, you can just tell that they're a little older. That's why cougars, they say, are women in their 40s. 32% of men said that women start losing it at 40. The next highest was 24% of men asked men.com said 30. Oh, my gosh. Well, see, it just depends on the age of the men that were being asked. 18-year-olds. High school kids, yeah. Because as a man gets older, that age gets older. Yeah. Now, I could put our phone screener, Austin, on the spot, who's 19. Oh, yeah. Austin's 19. Get in here, Austin. And I could say, I'm going to be 30 this year. No, no, no. Don't influence the witness. Don't influence the witness. 19 years old as a 19-year-old man. With a hickey. With a hickey on his neck. As a 19-year-old man, answer the question honestly. At what age do women begin to lose their looks? I think I agree with the cougars. 40. 40. Yeah. Because that's when you really know. Yeah, because as a 19-year-old man, you go, hey, to me, 38-year-old, 39-year-old women are still hot. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just say yes. Yes. Yes.

4:00:41Again, Mrs. Woods will slit your throat. Yeah, for sure. Well, again, this is from askmen.com. This is what the statistically zero percent, by the way, of men asked on askmen.com. Zero percent. And the actual zero. Zero percent of men asked said that 18 year old women lose their looks. Zero percent. Six percent. Six percent of men said, yeah, women start to lose their looks at 20. Oh, my God. Come on, 6%. Some women, I think, when they are around 30, are more beautiful than they've ever been. Oh, yeah. Because it's like they grow into themselves and their face is sometimes slim a little. Yeah, you stop, like, eating really bad and drinking a lot. Yeah. Good boob job, maybe. As a 40-year-old guy. Good boob job. As a 40-year-old guy, I believe that women would probably start to lose it around 60. But I'm 40. Yeah. Yeah. So it gets old. You know what I mean? It's because I'm 40. 12% of men asked said never. Good man. It doesn't, I mean, are they, I wonder if they, so really, so you're going to say to these 12% of guys, you're going to go, really? So you believe that even at 80 years old, there's not been any, you know. I think it's in the eye of the beholder because if you're. Oh, Jay creeps me.

4:02:05Jay gives me creepers. But if Jay's 80 as well, it's like, and he's still married. No, no, no. Jay's 80. If. Because he loves his wife so much, and if he's growing old with her, he looks at her. His wife is gorgeous. Yeah, but I'm saying. Beauty is only skin deep, Michael. Didn't you know that? I'm saying when she's 80 years old. It is. You're right, Woods. What's on the inside that counts, pal? That is really, really sweet, Woods. You're welcome. Why did you just say boob job then? I didn't. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you did. It was Mikey. Oh, yeah, you did. That was Mikey. It was Mikey. It was Mikey that said that. We got to go. He said at 30, women should get boob jobs. Mikey said that. I didn't say it. Did you say that you thought that women should get boob jobs at 30? No. No. And I said maybe they get a boob job at 30. Oh, you said it's L.O.B. No, I didn't. You said, quote, maybe you make that right. Yeah. I never said that. Make it right for yourself. I never heard that. Make it right for yourself real sweetly. I don't know what you're talking about. Hillary is fine. Hillary, what do you got coming up today? What's going on? I grabbed Queens of the Stone Age and the new Delta Spirit record and some Ramones and some Nine Inch Nails. Clash, of course. Sweet. So all that's coming up. And lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll do this. We will take a 20-hour nap and then we'll come back. We'll do the whole thing all over again. Mikey shows up.

4:05:53Mikey in the morning about the music all day and night.