The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/03/10

0:00VZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Fired up. Can park. No more sorrow, man. Wasn't original. I was at a UFC event in Las Vegas. I don't even remember who the fighter was, but somebody came into that and the hair on my arm stood up. And I was like, I'm ready to party. Sold. Welcome to the program. My headphones are too loud. Mine are weird, too. I just like to tell people what's happening in my world. Daily struggles. My daily struggles. You know, that's in my headphones today. A little bit loud, but you know what? You fight through it. Rise above. You rise above it. Yeah. Sitting over here trying to be dynamic. That's right. Welcome to the program. I guess the big topic today and the big news out there is, you know, the way Woods does his cocktail sauce. So we'll hit on that later. Weird. I'll tell you all about it.

2:58What I need to tell you is that my name is Mike. Now, I'll explain it. I'm going to explain it in just a second. She's really confused. No, I know. Well, everybody should be, but I'll explain. My name is Mike Esparza. I'm Hispanic American. All right? And speak a word of Spanish. That's right. That's a problem, man. Why don't you go to some classes, buddy? Why? Why? You made it 40 years without knowing Spanish. You're fine now, right? Well, he did, but he should learn it if we live in a town. that is so heavily populated with Hispanics. I agree, Hoyle. I know more Spanish than Mikey. Yeah, I do, too. I think we all do. Don't y'all think that's a shame? Yeah, I do. Yeah, it's pretty sad. Sienna knows more Spanish than him, and she don't speak a word of Spanish. I'm good at Spanish. Sienna can get the number two at Taco Bell and speak more Spanish than Mikey. It's not hard to do. It's the truth. Numero dos. Yeah, numero dos. Por favor. That's right.

4:02Sports guy. And he does not wear glasses anymore. That's what I can tell you about him. And hasn't smoked in how long? 17 days? 18 days? It's been that long? 19 days. Wow. My three weeks is the 21st, so subtract. I mean, not the 21st. Thursday is my 21 days. Has not had a cigarette. 19 days right now. It's insane to me. This morning I almost caved, but I didn't. That's awesome, dude. He didn't because he's a non-smoker. I pulled up to the stoplight about to get on the five, and I was like, nobody's going to know if I grab a pack of smokes. And then I was like, yeah, but you know what happens? You're a big D then if you do. I would smell you. Yeah, you forget. I peeled out onto the freeway and was like, and then just fought through it, and I was fine. These girls would sniff you out. Oh, in a heartbeat. Kathy Callout over there would knock it out of the park. Did you smoke? I'd be like, yes. That's right. That's 100% true. Not what I sound like. Isn't it? Kathy Callout is our resident comedian. She's also known as Lauren O'Brien. And she's the single blonde sitting over there. True story. And she's wearing a sweater today. It's 40 degrees out. It's freaking August. I just walked outside and was like... But you guys, it feels great. Yeah.

5:25I had my car this morning, Sienna. There was a raccoon hunting right there. I've been scared into death. I did. I opened my car door right here. And I'm like, is the Tasmanian devil running through here? I've seen some possums go into my car and stuff. I don't get to witness nature that often. Oh, it's terrifying sometimes. I thought it was really cool. Yeah. Try to take a picture of it. Yeah, you did. It was terrible. Terrible picture, but what are you going to do? Yeah, you know what picture looked better? The Loch Ness Monster picture looked better than the picture I took. It did. Of the raccoon. I thought that iPhone 4 was just to have some fancy newfangled camera. Yeah, what's up with that? Well, guess what? It doesn't take telephoto pictures from 400 feet away. Look how you had your finger over the lens. I interrupted a cat brawl the other morning. Oh, don't do that. Don't get in the middle of those guys. I was coming out. I was in my car, and I turned on the dark street, only to have my headlights go right on these two cats. They were going at it? That were alone, and they were just...

6:23Totally still facing each other like they were about to attack. I started laughing out loud. Like, oh, sorry, guys. I'll be out of here in just a sec. Get out of your hair. Oh, I wish. I wish that I could understand the cat mentality at that moment. Like, really understand what the problem is. If they could speak English and one could go, this guy's a total D. And he doesn't. And you know what else? He comes here every day. And I live here. Yeah. This is my alley. This is my alley. That's what was going on, I think. It's a territory thing. Probably it. And the other cat was like, I didn't even know. Yeah. I didn't even know. I smelled something good. Yeah. Sue me for being hungry. I wanted a feast. And the other cat goes, really? You didn't know? You're here every day. You don't know? You intrude and trespass every day. So what do you mean you didn't know? He's lying. Right in front of you. He's lying. It's a public street. I don't have as much of a right to be here as you do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. It's my alley. It's a public street. How long have you lived? I don't see your name on it. It says La Jolla Avenue. You know that urine over there? That's mine. All right. And I put it there so that you would know and you still don't even care. Well, watch this urine here.

7:32You can't do it. You see? He can't do that. There you go. He's not allowed to do that. I just did it. That's what they fight about. Hold on, hold on. Here comes some broad and a Volvo. No, don't you dare. Here comes some broad and a Volvo. Don't you dare even. No, I mean, perfectly still staring at each other from like two feet away. I was like, what is about to go down? You know what you should have done? What Michael Madsen did in Reservoir Dogs. You're going to bark all day, little dog. You're going to bite. That's what you say to him. Sienna is our news girl. She's a gorgeous, auburn-haired pregnant girl over there. I said Sienna yesterday. Good-looking pregnant girl. She is. She's glowing. You know what I mean? Man, am I ready for this baby to come out? She is. She's quite the little prankster, isn't she, Sienna? Oh, she thinks she is. Nancy Drew. Yeah, Nancy Drew over here. You guys are all mad at me. Her magic little... with her magic little recorder. Any of you could have come up with a bit, but it was, you know. I get belayed once a week on this thing, man. I'm scared to death every time I walk in here. You guys should be real afraid of this one. Oh, great. You guys should be real afraid of this one. 7.30 this morning. Yeah, here's what she does. And we're so dumb because we don't catch on to it. I don't want you to ever, though, because then it's no fun. We let our defenses down. That's a problem. Well, we think we're amongst friends.

8:56Apparently we are not. You are. But all of our listeners are our friends, and I want to include them. That's true. That is true. Jay's our producer. He's 47 years of age and separated by glass in another studio right now. So, Sienna, let me ask you. What makes you go, oh, I need to start taping? When it gets to something good. We talk about the most ridiculous things and we're so passionate about them. And I don't even want to give you guys any hints because right now these guys have no idea what audio I have. But all I told them is it may affect the next meet and greet that's coming up on the 13th. Oh, wow. It may affect that. And I'm going to make sure it does. Jay is the only other person besides Sienna that knows because he's the one that had to load the audio. And yesterday... After our show, we went directly into a conference room. And she comes back into the conference room an hour and a half after it started and said, hey, you need to cut a promo saying that there's hidden audio. And I'm like, from when? She goes, today. Today, this morning. I go, are you kidding? So whatever it is, it's something that happened during that hour and a half. Bad. Is it bad? Is it bad? Bad.

10:12Really? We talk about some naughty things. No doubt. I don't talk about naughty things. We do. We do. You do. I don't. Yeah, right. If you don't know, our meet and greet is August 13th, and it's 21 and up. And if you are 21 and up, you want to make sure you're going to be there. You want to make sure you're going to be there. I'm trying to remember what we were talking about. Don't even try, you guys. 7.30, you'll find out. You're going to kill me. What, for 12 hours? You're going to try to remember what we talked about for 12 hours yesterday? Yeah, we were there forever. We had a 12-hour day yesterday. Well, whatever was happening in that first hour and a half, because she had me record it at like 11.30. Well, then I know exactly what it is. You do? Yeah. No, you don't. Think about what we were talking about. We talked about a lot of stuff. What's the main thing that permeates our meeting? You don't know. Oh, I know. Woods thinks he always knows. I think I know. He never knows. He doesn't know. It's Woods trying to pronounce a fruit that Mikey made up.

11:29That was the last prank that Woods thought he knew. That's right. That you put him up to. That's right. I had Heath Bell say that, actually. I mean, he calls in. Oh, children. I know Heath Bell. If you don't know, Heath Bell called in and he said, Mikey, how come you don't like the Padres and Big Phony? We pranked you real good. Yeah, it got me real good. We got a prank war. Yeah. Maybe we squash it. One, two, three, four. I declare a prank war. Maybe we squash it right now. Maybe Mikey steps it up. Yep. It's real good. The line has been drawn. Maybe I blow up his car then. Oh, stop it. Woods likes to bring cannons. Yeah, to a gunfight. Yeah. Oh, my God. To marble fights. What did I tell you? I said, don't get the kid or you will get got. Yeah. Well, I learned that, didn't I? Word of the day begins today. Okay, so we're going to do word of the day. And we got cool prizes. Yeah. We got Jay. Jason.

12:29Jay Bird. He's doing some serious. Oh, there we go. Let's see. We have tickets to the Delmar Racetrack to see the soft pack perform on Friday, August 13th. It's huge. Call me if you need any horse tips. Now, we have a variety of prizes, right? Or do we just have that? Absolutely. We have all kinds of stuff. We have Anarchy and Angel Sunglasses. We have Cop Out, a Cox Pay-Per-View prize pack. Okay. Well, let's go with the concert. That sounds pretty good. Go after our meet and greet. Yeah. You got to go to the meet and greet first. So, okay. So let's go to this concert. It's for the soft pack, right? And here's what you have to do. The word of the day is trademark. Okay? Now, if you hear any of us say the word trademark between now and the end of the show. 10 o'clock. You call us, and that could be even during commercial break. Could come at any time. If you hear us use the word trademark, then you need to be the ninth caller at 570-1949. All right? Caller nine when you hear the word trademark. Okay? And it could happen between now and 10. That's the deal.

13:59What else? Oh, there's big stuff happening. And you can call us about anything right now because we do open phones beginning of the show. 570-1949 or text if you're shy. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is interesting. The bridge that they're considering building between San Diego and TJ. Yeah, I have never heard this, but apparently it was proposed more than 10 years ago. And basically what they want to do is they want to have a bridge from Otay Mesa. And it's a pedestrian bridge. So walking only. And it's going to take you to the international airport in TJ. And they want to do this to kind of decrease congestion at Limburg Field, our airport in San Diego. And they think by 2020, more than 1.1 million people would use that terminal annually. So there's going to be a passenger terminal, like I said, in Otay Mesa. You get dropped off there. You walk across. It takes you directly to the TJ airport and you fly out there. It's like having two airports in San Diego. Really? Yeah, that's what they're going for. And you park on...

15:04Our side. You park on the U.S. and it drops you off at the passenger terminal there and you just walk right across this bridge. It's a 500 foot long bridge. You know the thing that's weird to me? It's like, so are you subject to American or Mexican stuff? Right. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you go to customs because of the planet Denver? You're going to have to. I'm sure there's probably customs, you know, as you're walking across the bridge. Like there is when you walk across the border now. Because that's a beating. Like if I want to go to Denver. If I want to go to Denver, what's the incentive for me to go to? Maybe it would be a lot cheaper. Yeah, I guarantee it would be a lot cheaper. I may be willing to put up with some custom delays if it's way cheaper. Zero percent. No, no. I'd have to check out what the security standards are flying in and out of Mexico. Yeah, I don't want no Federale going, you know what? You can go to Denver. It's going to cost you $250. Have you never flown out of the TJ airport? I haven't, but I know so many people that have, and I've heard nothing but good things. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? Like, it's really easy. I never knew. They're going to have to do a whole advertising thing squashing anything that would make me think it's weird. Yeah. Because I have a lot of things that make me think it's weird. Me too. But that'd be nice to have, you know, an easy second alternative to fly out of. Yeah.

16:28I mean, if it's not a beating. Sounds like one, though. Yeah. Because a lot of the big flights are out of LAX. I mean, maybe you can get a big flight out of TJ now. Yeah. And you don't have to drive all the way to LA. You guys ever flown? I know LOB has for a fact. And I bet you have, too, Sienna. Have you guys ever flown on one of those planes that is so big that they have an upstairs and downstairs? No. I've flown a 747 to Australia. You went to Australia? They have a... Like, I mean, a staircase, like a twisty staircase. I would love to do that once in my life. It's amazing. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say amazing. It's cool. Well, I rode first class. You did? Yeah, you know that. Oh, big time. Is that upstairs or downstairs? My dad had five billion miles from traveling, and he said we can go anywhere you guys want, all on miles. And so we took Qantas Air, 747, first class. Like nothing you've ever seen. It was ridiculous. That's the way to go if you're going all the way to Australia. The whole bed, you know, leans back. Oh, man. Lucky. Filet, filet menu. Like it was insane. My brother and I were like, oh. Is first class like the upstairs? I think we were upstairs. Did you, LOB, when you flew that way, did you ever like go, I'm going to explore? I walked the whole plane on my way back from Australia. We stopped in Fiji.

17:47And I couldn't sleep a wink from Fiji back to LAX. So I just walked up and down the plane, up and down the rows, up and down the stairs. Is it cool up there? Yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, you have three rows across, too. It's huge. It's just a wonder how that can even be in the air. Doesn't that trip you out? Yeah. I'm like, how does this not just fall? Yeah, the little personal TVs that pop up out of your... You know, out of your seat. And it shows your destination. Then it shows where you left from. Yeah. And there's a little line with a little plane. Oh, I've seen that. I watched it for like 17 hours. Just, yep. It shows you how far you go. So I napped for like eight hours. Woke up and we'd gone a nooch. Trip you out when it was straight over blue. Yeah, straight over blue. You're like, oh my God, we're never going to get there. It's a 22-hour flight. Since the plane is so big, are the bathrooms bigger or are they still like closets? Still like closets. Ours were okay. There's a lot more of them, though. I felt like there was one on every corner. I'm like, ooh. Yeah, I want it to be a bathroom like the one at Grand Central Station. I want it to be a gigantic bathroom. First glass, Woodsy's like sitting on a bidet. Yeah, it's a bidet. It's a bidet. I was back in the trenches. Yeah. Taking grenades back there. Yeah. They gave LLB like a coffee can. I will say, though, on those international flights, they're real hospitable with like anything you want. Yeah. Just keep you happy for the next 23 hours. Just don't yell at me. Yeah.

19:11They came out with the list of the top party schools, which my guess is going to be Chico. Be on there, no? Really? Not on the list. This is the top ten. In the country? Yep. Usually Chico's on there. She always likes to hide them from there. Well, you're a cheater. Yeah, I cheat. He looks right at the list. I want to take some guesses. Yeah. West Virginia, is it on there? What? Dang it. Surprise roiner. Yes, Penn State is on there. Thanks, Woods, for cheating. It's the only one I saw. Arizona State, I bet. Penn State's number three on the list. West Virginia. Number four. Arizona State. Nope. Michigan State. Nope. Oklahoma. Ohio State. Ohio University, number two. UT Austin. Yep, number six. Virginia Tech. Nope. SDSU. Nope. James Madison. There used to be. James Madison University. Nope. That's where you went. I know, but it used to be on the list. University of Georgia. Florida. Number one, Jay. Georgia. Oh, Georgia. He Googled it. Oh, you're out of your mind. Ah, Jay. What about Florida? Yes. Oh, yeah. Florida State. University of Florida is number seven. Florida State. University of Florida. What else? What are we missing? Santa Barbara. UCSB is number eight. University of Iowa. DePaul University, which is in Indiana. University of Mississippi. And West Virginia University. I wonder how they declare it. Like, I wonder what the criteria is.

20:34To be on there. I know. I wonder. Amount of beer sold? Most arrest. Most arrest. I mean, I wonder how they do. Yeah. You know what I mean? Your kid comes to you and says, Dad, I'm going to go to Georgia. The number one school. Maybe not. Maybe get. Yeah. Maybe go to your room. The number one school, University of Georgia, has about 30,000 students. And they've been on this list like 10 times. But this is the first time they've been number one. I can tell you how you make the list, Becky. I've been on it. Yeah. You've been on it. Yeah, I've been interviewed for it. Been the mascot. Yeah, right at the oil. I was arrested at Memphis University for running down the street naked. Yeah, right. We're going streaking. It was an initiation. For a sorority? For a sorority. You were the house mom? Yes, I was. Kappa Kappa Gamma, Memphis University. There you go. The Northern Lights might be seen tonight. How about that? Yeah, the sun is spewing plasma towards us. Yeah. We have actual audio of that. Yeah. It's the sun. No, the result from it is going to be beautiful, though, because they say that a show of Northern Lights could be taking place late tonight or early tomorrow morning. They got to sleep. So if you look up, you can see curtains of green and red lights. Does it say time frames on there, Sienna? No, it just says August 4th. They're estimating around August 4th. So I'm saying like midnight or when we go to work early.

22:00It's not a bit. I know it's not a bit, but I bet you it's a bit in San Diego. They're saying that we'll be able to see it, and I'm like, no way. Maybe out in Escondido. You're going to need no light pollution. You'll have to be in a certain part of the city, and you'll have to be lucky, and you'll have to be exactly the same time, and you'll see it for 2.2 seconds. No. All right. Well, let's get reports tomorrow. Well, we'll see. The eruption is directed right at us. Maybe I call out sick tomorrow. Lauren's out there. Maybe we have a Northern Lights party. What are the Northern Lights on? Aurora Borealis. Aurora Borealis. That's what our daughter is named. Aurora Borealis. Vincent Jackson, he wasn't going to be playing for the Chargers for a long time, okay? Great. And he was our number one wide receiver. Thing is, there's a dude stepping up in camp right now that Phillip Rivers is... falling madly and deeply in love with, he's catching everything thrown his way and is looking more and more like a stud every day. We'll tell you all about it in Woods on Sports next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes.

23:40On FM 94.9. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Scion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wigs. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the Casbah Local 94.9 stage. The silent comedy. The nervous records of burning of Rome. And white apple tree. Get your tickets for 30 bucks today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at fm949sd.com or independencejam.com. Eight vans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Honest Tea. FM 94.9 welcomes the soft pack on August 13th for the 2010 Del Mar Summer Concert Series at the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club and Racetrack. Four o'clock Friday concerts. They're held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. And all shows are free with your track admission. Come out and enjoy exciting racing action and then stay for the free concert after the races. Visit www.delmarscene.com.

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30:26Rolling Stone says My Morning Jacket is fast becoming one of the premier live bands on the planet. Special evening with good and special guest Avi Buffalo. It's 11 at SDSU Open Air Theater. Get tickets now at LiveNation.com, Ticketmaster, or call 800-745-3000. This report is brought to you by the Discovery Channel. Shark Week is back, and it's the most wonderful time of the year. So enjoy a good scare, America. You're welcome. Happy Shark Week starts tonight at 9 Eastern Pacific on Discovery. On the 5 southbound ramp to Front Street, we had an earlier incident of an elderly man who appeared to be nude. I'm not sure how it could be. He's either nude or he's not nude. But I guess when you're old, it's hard to tell. He was walking in the middle of lanes. They did take him into custody. They removed him off the freeway. But traffic is still slow as...

31:25People were watching that nude man. On the 5 southbound between Oceanside Harbor Drive, Cassidy Street, just a little slow, about 45 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube, oil, and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and veterans, including their immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't really like to swim, unlike most Latinos. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. Wood. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Sienna. I'm like a little bit Irish. There's everything white I am. And Jake. I know I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. 7.30 this morning, we have hidden audio. Our Sienna, what she does is she becomes a naughty little rascal. I do. Undercover reporter. She becomes an investigative journalist. You know, I take my job very seriously. Yeah, you do. Somebody's bucking for a promotion here. So when we're off the air in the office or out and about, she secretly records us. It's not fun.

33:16It's not fun. You guys love it, and you laugh every time. It scares me, though, man. It is scary. I run a lot of mouth. I run a lot of mouth off the air. I run a lot of mouth off the air. Did it have to be bleeped? Hey, Jay. I'm not going to put anything on. No, no, no. I'm wondering if he had to bleep it. Nope. It's clean. Amazing. Amazing. And Woods is in it? 570-1949 is our number. So we'll play that at 730. Don't forget our meet and greet is going to be August 13th, 5 to 7, Tipsy Crow, 5th Avenue downtown. And they'll have specials out there for you and stuff, which will be cool. So if you buy a drink, even a non-alcoholic one, they'll have some appetizers that they have selected for you that you'll get. Apps. The place sounds like it's going to be really fun. I've always wanted to go. I've been a few times. It's great. It's going to be good. It is great. Now, here's the deal.

34:14The word of the day is something that we're starting today, and I want to let you know that the way that you win with word of the day is that word of the day has to be worked into a sentence, a coherent sentence. So I'm going to update you on what the word is, but that doesn't mean that you call in right now. You're waiting for it to be used in a sentence. The word's trademarked, but you're waiting for me to use that word. In a sentence. When the time comes to call, he's not going to say word of the day in the sentence. Yes, exactly. That's a great way to put it. Now, it could be any time. It could be during commercial. It could be outside of commercial. It could be, you know, just where we're having a normal conversation, whatever. But we have tickets to go see the soft pack at the Del Mar fair, at the races. And that's what's up for grabs. And all you have to do to win it. is be caller number nine when you hear that word used in a sentence between now and 10. Cannot be preceded by word of the day is. Right. Correct. It'll just be used. Real easy. Don't forget, Woodsy here in just a second is me telling you.

35:26Who Philip Rivers' favorite target is quickly becoming because he's catching everything thrown his way. Love it. Everything thrown his way. It's football time. Yeah. Knock on wood here. Yeah. Real good. Yeah. It is football time. It's fastly approaching. So anyway, we'll get to that in just a second. Really cool thing we're going to talk about later, too, is the family that was out at sea for seven years together. Just cruising around, having a good time for seven years. The whole topic amongst itself. It's insane. That we're going to be doing. Yeah, I don't think I'll sign up for that. No way. No, thanks. So we were talking about this off the air. And I go, nobody cares about this, right? And Woodsy goes, I want to hear it so I can make fun of it. And I said, all right, well, let's see what it is. The TV show, The Bachelorette, did the...

36:24Okay, so the idea is that a girl has a bunch of dudes and she gets to pick the dude. She gets to pick and the guy she picks, she marries. Yeah, right? It seems like the show is always on. I know. See, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette is on at all times. And I don't watch either one. No guy does. Don't you? I've never seen this either, but The Bachelorette this year was Ali Fedotowski. And she picked this guy, Roberto. Yep. Let's see what it sounded like. Percentage of chance we hear harp music. 100%. 98%. 98%. Say 95% chance we hear harp music. I hold out a 5% chance there's no harp in this music. Let's see. I want you to know you're the only guy here today. Wow. Wow. I love you so much. Do you? Do you? I really do. Oh, okay. You answered the question. Asked and answered. You're supposed to have two guys. She's supposed to go to the top two that she picks. And she told the other guy to just don't even bother showing up. I'm going with Roberto. The other dude didn't even show up. That's Spanish for Robert. Thank you. Roberto Martinez. That's who she's marrying? Yeah. Isn't that weird? They just went from a TV show.

37:42you know, reality. Yeah. But now they're getting married. She asked him? Yeah, that's how the show ends. You choose me to marry. I don't want a girl to ask me to marry her. But what if there's no guys that you like on the show? Yeah. What's the guarantee? Marry someone? Yeah, I guess you have to pick someone, don't you? I mean, it's happened before where people have been like, eh, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not. Oh, it has? Oh, yeah. It's happened before where the guy's like, listen, I'm not ready to go, but I will tell you that I would really like to. which case you're like, what's a big whoop? Well, the guys, the guys like, listen, I spent this time here with 32 new girls. Yeah. All of which I consider hot leads now. Yeah. And I'm not about to, I'm not about to put a ring on your finger. I got 32 leads in the, in the queue back here that I haven't, I haven't exercised yet. So I'll get to you in like a year. I'll get to you in like a year. It's like a definite amount of time where you have to decide that you're going to marry someone. It's kind of the way I look at American Idol. The way I look at it, if you want to make it, and I really do this for bands, right? If you're a band, you've got to sweat, you've got to tour, you've got to all cramp and a bust. But this is marriage. This is not how you meet your husband. See, my deal is that if it's the right person, it's the right person. Is it, though? Is it? Or is it the right person for TV?

39:06Well, if you're the type, let me put it to you this way. Let's say you're the type of clown. I'm not the type of clown, by the way. I am not the type of clown that would be, aren't I? That would be like, I'm going to go on a TV show. Maybe I am that type of clown. I probably would be. I auditioned for the show. If I was handsome and good looking and tall. I did it for a radio bit. But I did like the whole process of being on camera. They make you walk and turn around. I just realized I am the type of clown. Okay. If I were tall. and I were really handsome, and I looked like The Bachelor. Woods. If I were that guy, I'd probably go audition. And if they said, you're the one, you know, that's going to be The Bachelor, yeah, I think I would do it. I would be The Bachelorette before I would be one of the little minions running around. L.O.B. would not want to be one of 32. Let's say I'm The Bachelor, and I'm like, we had a really fun time on our date tonight. It was amazing. Yeah, but here's the deal. Here's the deal. I just realized if I was one of the minions and I decided, okay, I'm going to be one of the clowns, one of 25 clowns, or if you're a girl and you're going to be one of 25 clown girls, what I just realized is, I'm sorry, competitive juices kick in. 100%. And you're like, I just want to win.

40:28Exactly. That's what it comes down to. It really does. You know, Mike, I'm just going to be myself. That's what I'm going to do. I want to know where to go. I want to go. I couldn't stand it. Give me the goal. I want to go. No one wants to be the first to get kicked out, you know? Oh, my God. And nobody wants to see. It's okay. It's one thing. If you're dating someone, you. are like, okay, they could be dating someone else. We haven't decided to be exclusive. This is in the real world, not in reality. Then when you have it on a TV show where you have to watch him, like, courting 32 other girls. Yeah, making out with them real sweetly. Yeah, I would instantly go, as a guy, as one of the clown minion guys, I'd be like, I don't want some chick making out with that dude. You just kissed 25 dudes. And if you like me so much. Don't make out with that guy. Don't make out with that guy. Your jealous rage would kick in. Yeah. So let's hear her. Way before it needs to. Yeah, absolutely. Let's hear her do her thing. Harp. Harp. Yes! What did he say? I want to share my life with you. Share your life with me. God, I'm about to vomit in my hands. I know. I'm so happy.

41:51I just met you, but I love you. Oh, my gosh. Oh, he asked her. She should be asking him. She chose him. Mikey, what's this world coming to you? That is the worst thing I've ever heard. He's like, I have to ask you, what's your middle name? Yeah. What do your parents do? Where are you from? No, no, no. They meet the parents. They go on a field trip. I just have to ask, like, how old are you? Yeah. What's your birthday again? What do you like when there's not cameras, alcohol and everything free provided? Hey, what do you like when they don't say cut? Are you really a giant bee?

42:36Are you really going to break my balls the rest of my life? What do you look like without makeup on? Exactly. Without a makeup artist. Did you ever rinse your mouth from slaying and kissing those other 25 dudes, I wonder? Yeah. Have you brushed your teeth? Yeah, have you brushed those filthy teeth? What do you like after a long day's work? And by a long day's work, I mean call time. You know, like putting in 12 hours of filming like we've done. What do you do for a living? Yeah, what do you do? Do you ever want to have kids one day? Is Lucy really your name? Yeah. Is that a stage name or? What kind of reality show do you want to do next? Yeah. It's weird. It's so stupid. It's so, imagine how awkward their first date is off camera. Yeah. Like, oh. I'm saying it, but if I was, if I would be a bachelor and I would be like. Yeah, I'll give it a shot and see if I meet the girl of my dreams. You know why I do it? I could see Mike doing it. 25 leads, pal. That's exactly why I would have done it. I'm more romantic than that. 100%. I'm not about, I wouldn't be about the sexual intercourse.

43:37I would be about the love. I would be about the feelings. I'm being honest with you. I would be about the feelings. If you're being honest, I'm being honest. I'm just saying I would be in it for the romance and the heart music. I'm not being honest. You're not? I'm not being honest. I would go for the leads. 25 new leads. Well, if you are, I will say, on the flip side of the coin, if you're in the market to get married, that is 32 guaranteed leads of like, okay, at least I don't have to like, fuddle around for three years. and figure out if this person wants to get married. Sure. But see, just because the fact that they're on The Bachelor doesn't mean they want to get married. It could mean they want their 15 minutes on TV. And then there's just another problem that you and I don't have to deal with in the real world because we're like, yeah, I met this broad at Blockbuster. You know what I mean? She's not going to be on TV playing up some different persona. Yeah, I wouldn't be... I'd be scared to death. I wouldn't be into a girl that... Wanted to be on a TV show. And like you just said, the competitive juices kick in. So how do I know that L.O.B. really likes me or if she just wants to win? She just wants to win. And it's like when you meet someone on vacation, it's a whirlwind romance because you don't have the real world troubles to bother you. And so L.O.B. is on The Bachelor. I'm The Bachelor. She's one of the minions.

44:49She wants to beat Sienna. I pick L.O.B. What happens to us? She's on the cover of People magazine with me. And she's like, oh, wow, I'm famous now. That's what happened with the last chick. Isn't that what happened with all of them? They're all, oh, they're bad. Again, I did it for a radio bit. But when I went to audition for The Bachelor. Oh, gosh, I can't imagine anything worse. I sat, you sit in a room with. hundreds of girls. It's like you see on American Idol. And all of them were so done up early in the morning, hair done, makeup done, putting on their makeup the whole time, no one talking. They are dead serious. They want to get on that show. And they want to win. And they, you know, when it was finally my turn, they called my number and I went up and I went in this other room and they ask you questions about yourself and they videotape you walking. Really? They take pictures of you at every single angle. What? Knockers. Yeah. And they ask you like, Like, how many kids do you want? You know, everything. You're like, what are your pet peeves? You know what I would do? What's your annoying habit? Do you drink alcohol? If I were a producer, I would go, I would say, all right, we have an actor here. You know, L.O.B., you're trying out, right? You want to be on The Bachelor. We have an actor here. We're going to play some music with this actor. This is Steve. Hi, how are you? This is Lauren. Good to meet you. Yeah, you too. Lauren's auditioning today for...

46:08For The Bachelor. And we're going to play some music. And I just want to see how you would react to this gentleman if you got to know him in the house. Okay, can you do that? Sure, sure. Am I, do I, is there a character name for me? No, it's just you. Okay, okay. We just want to see how you might be on the show. Sure, sure, sure. And so it is. Hey, Lauren. Hi. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad we finally get to spend some time together. It's amazing. You can see I've been pretty busy. Yeah, yeah. You know what, though? I totally understand because you have a lot of girls to work through. I do, to run through. Yeah, you want to test it out. Well, I plan on running through as many as I can, but I'm glad that you and I finally get to sit down. You know, I noticed you the first day, and I thought, man, I'm... That's a really, really pretty girl. I felt like we had a connection. I did too, definitely. I've had 32 connections since I got here. So it's a really, really. Understandable. Yeah, it's a really cool thing. So, you know, if we were to, you know, if we were going to have kids, how many kids would you want? I guess I would say however many that you wanted. Yeah, probably four. Four? Four boys.

47:12I've always wanted a big family. Yeah, good, good. All right, cut. Oh, my gosh. Bernie, she's in. Let's get her. Oh, my gosh. Awesome. She's great. You're perfect for the show. That's how it is. It's all just an audition of awfulness. Unbelievable. The facade. It's all a big facade. It's a big facade. It's a big sham on the whole thing. Let's find out who Philip Rivers is loving. Woods! Woods, Woods! Woods, Woods! Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser. Well, Phillip Rivers and the Chargers, they're in full pads. I watched some video of practice. It looks rad. They're hitting each other. He's out slinging the ball. Oh, yeah. Oh, it looked great. And he's been locking in on his boy, Malcolm Floyd.

48:10Yeah. Big, tall, fast receiver. Dude, the guy was catching everything. Really? Everything. They were asking him, hey, what's the deal, man? He's got, you know, glue hands. Right. This is Phillip Rivers on him. Cut one. Well, you know, it's funny. Malcolm got lucky again, as we say in the locker room, because he's so humble about it, saying he got lucky, but he seems to get lucky like that about every day. So, unbelievable. Unbelievable. Talented playing the ball. You know, and he... When it's up in the air, he thinks it's his. The play's never dead until the ball's in the ground or either in his hands. And certainly as a quarterback gives you the confidence to keep throwing when he's seen in those positions. He had to go. He had to hustle. He was doing the interview from his truck. He was delivering cement, which was really interesting. It's a side job. You know, I was, side note, reading about... Fantasy football. Weird. Chad, you're going to kill me this year. Yeah, you are. It's ridiculous. You know what they say? They say that Phillip Rivers, it's like Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Phillip Rivers. Really? Drew Brees. He's in that upper echelon. I'd take Rivers over Brady this year. I don't think Brady's going to have a very good year at all. Brady's Mr. Hollywood now. Get out of here. Phillip Rivers got the head shaved. He's about business right now. And that's pretty solid. He is. The Steelers had a familiar face in camp.

49:34Big Ben Roethlisberger, as we all know, he had a pretty rough offseason, been accused of a couple rapes and all kinds of fun little off-the-field activities. Couple rapes? Yeah, a couple rapes. Literally. I thought he was suspended for a couple games. He is, but he's allowed to participate in camp and stuff. So here he is talking about the atmosphere at Camp Cut 2. Once we started walking down the stairs and seeing the fans and hearing them cheer and giving them high fives, when we got on the field, I kind of got lost in just being out here at camp and being at St. Vincent. And that's what we said getting here. It's everything that has happened we put behind us because it's time for football now. And that's what it's about is getting out here and winning the championship. You know, Ben is getting really good at putting stuff behind him. He's been doing that for the last three years. The Padres last night were winners over the Dodgers. They smoked them 10-5. Wow. Miguel Tejada got a couple RBIs, knocked in two. Nice. There were two homers in the game. The Dodgers, you guys, are really late. What's up with the Dodgers? They've lost six in a row, and they are 5-13 since the All-Star break. Really? I bet Siena's husband Todd is none too pleased about it. That's why I'm staying quiet. Yeah, he's a big Dodger fan. So wait, but the Miguel Tejada thing obviously is playing out just like they would want it to, right? Absolutely. I mean, he's knocking and runs, playing some defense. So it's, again, turning out to be a pretty good move as we thought it would be. Also, football karma.

50:53Struck in Dallas. Des Bryant sprained his ankle. He's out four to six weeks. Oh, wow. For a sprain? Yeah, probably a high ankle sprain. Maybe you carry those pads. You don't want to carry the pads for Roy Williams. Wow, that's not why. Carver is legit. Carver will get you. I am telling you. No way. Stick with tradition. Don't mess it up. And it got him. Maybe he twisted his ankle. Yeah. Maybe football karma got him. It did. Maybe he's been training real hard. Had a misstep. Maybe carry the guy's pads real sweetly. Yeah. Also, Darrell Rivas, the Jets' all-world cornerback, is holding out. He is not in camp. Monkey and I were talking about it this morning, and they're saying, hey, the Jets are a potential Super Bowl team. Not without this guy. He is absolutely one of the best corners in the game. So basically, he feels that he's underpaid. He's scheduled to make $1 million this year, which... Yeah, I mean, don't sign the contract if you don't like the amounts. Right. He's being fined. Ready for this? $16,523 a day. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Really? Yeah, a day. So, I just, I don't know how these guys do it, man. I don't know how they do it. It's funny because we were having this pretty funny conversation about Daryl Revis, right? Because he's great, okay? He's like probably the best cornerback cover guy. Oh, yeah. In the NFL. It's tough.

52:18So I posed this question to Woods off the air. I said, Woodsy, how many days would Daryl Rivas have to go without eating in order for me to be able to beat him? I said 40. 40 days? 40 days. So I said, okay, so that means that at 39 days of no food, I can't beat him. And Woods says no. Woods goes no. I said, L.O.B., how about you? I go, how many days? Would Daryl Rivas have to go without eating for you to be able to line up against Daryl Rivas? And he's like... And Woodsy's like, a one, a two, hey, hey. Goes back to pass, throws a pass to L.O.B., but Daryl Rivas is incapable of covering her. How many days of no food? Oh, you could do it. I said 30. She said 30. I'll give her that. Now, I didn't hear your guys' conversation. So after hearing that you gave...

53:19Mike, 40, I was like, hmm. You guys, that's days without food. I know. That's a lot. You're just completely out of energy. You could do it after 10 days. No way. How many? 10. If he doesn't have food? Am I being crazy if I say 17 days? I think that's a good guess. That was my initial thought, 17. 17. But then I thought, no, you could do it. A little more than halfway. I mean, because, listen. Let's line you up against Jay. Just now and see how that goes. No way I can. No way I can catch. No, I'm the most unathletic person. Jay doesn't play football. He never played football. He'll still cover me no matter what. You don't think you can get open on Jay? No. Come on. I cannot. Come on. You guys. I'm fat. I'm short. You think you can? No way. Oh, I can. Oh, you want to go? Absolutely. No more. You could get open on Jay. On Jay?

54:13He is that skinny, spry little dude. You're crazy, Woods. Let's go in the hall right now. Oh, my gosh. We'll get everybody mad. Do we have a football even? We don't need a football. All we got to do is get open. I know, but we need a football. You got to catch a pass. Oh, I want to do that. Oh, let's do it. Let's do it for fun. You guys, if you don't eat for one day, you're like... Yeah, but we're not world-class athletes. He's going to be starving and not... Yeah, there's no way. Heard about the female condom. It's out there. We'll be discussing in the panel. Medicine has introduced it and there's news out about it. We will discuss in the panel. Another thing that is really causing a lot of controversy right now is the fact that they are trying to build a mosque very close to ground zero in New York City from where the Twin Towers stood. How do you feel about that?

55:21We'll discuss it. 570-1949. Oh, my God, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. On FM 94.9. Is the IRS ruining your life? Are you afraid of losing everything? You can end the despair you feel right now. Get ready to write down an important phone number you're going to need to help solve your IRS nightmare. Hello, I'm John Harris, president of J.K. Harrison Company, the nation's largest tax representation firm. IRS problems have a way of ruining every aspect of your life if you let them. They don't go away on their own. The IRS can attach your wages, your pension, your savings, Even your Social Security checks. Over the past decade, the tax team at J.K. Harris has successfully negotiated settlements for our clients, saving them millions of dollars. If you owe the IRS back taxes, you may qualify to dramatically reduce your tax debt. Call 1-800-652-0339.

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1:01:35Right? Send yourself to Camp Vegas for grown-ups at visitlasvegas.com. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. You need a break from the road? Choose Motel 6. You always get a clean, comfortable room for the lowest price of any national chain. Motel 6. They'll leave the light on for you. This report, it is brought to you by Allstate. Want to save money without cutting insurance coverage? Get Allstate today. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Looks like the 15 southbound 9th Avenue, two cars involved in an accident. They have moved it over to the right shoulder. In Escondido, we're also seeing some slowing on the 15 southbound between the 78 and 9th Avenue. And Camp Pendleton southbound side, that 5 southbound between Oceanside, Harbor Drive, Cassidy Street, slow, as well as the 15 southbound between Mercy Road and Miramay. This report, it is also brought to you by Quiznos. Brought to you by Quiznos 543 Value Menu. Get a great lunch for $5, $4, or $3. Quiznos. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Toasty. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZD, Sandy and Young Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom.

1:02:47Nobody wanted to go with me. Lauren. Look, I'm kind of out of the loop when it comes to news, pop culture, that kind of stuff. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. Sienna. I've always wanted to punch someone in the face. And Jay. Yeah, I like to dance at weddings. On FM 94.9. That's CeCe DeVille singing Jack White. That is 100% correct. Quite a nickel for every time I heard that. That's right. Welcome back. Mikey's show is made up of five people. Myself, Woodsy. Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay. 7.30, you get to hear some audio. Now, hidden audio, it's secretly recorded by Sienna. And she says that the guys are not going to like it, which excludes L.O.B. Yeah. Well, it's definitely audio of her, too, but... I didn't say anything bad, probably. I can't say too much. All I'm telling you is...

1:04:16You do? Yeah, I know what it is. You shut up. Tell me during the next commercial because after the next commercial we'll do it and I want to know what you think and see if you're right. Yeah, for sure. We'll test it out. I definitely know what it is. Okay. He's lying. Okay, so I have to put this out there before I even say this. This is not your opportunity to win, but I want to let people know what the word of the day is today that you're listening for. We started something today called word of the day. Now, this is the way word of the day works. If I use the word of the day in a sentence and I work it into a sentence, you're calling number nine at 570-1949. And you will win tickets to see the soft pack at the Del Mar racetrack. The word today, the word of the day today is trademark. Don't call yet. You just said it. Now, you don't call now. He has to not associate it with the word of the day. You just said it. That's correct. Cannot associate it with the word of the day. You have to hear it used in a sentence. And then caller number nine at 5701949 will win. It's a very easy concept. Let's see. Let's do the panel. So myself, Woodsy, and Lauren O'Brien are on the panel. We get like 20 seconds to comment on various topics that are out there.

1:05:41Works kind of like Pardon the Interruption on Around the Horn on ESPN. And first item up is the female condom. What's the deal? Now, these were approved by the FDA in 1993, but they've done a few revisions of the female condom. And the most recent one they're saying is noisy. It's plastic bag like. It's basically. When I'm reading it, the best way I can describe it over the radio is it's like a male condom, but instead of going on the outside, it goes on the inside. Of course. And it's not as easy to put on for girls. It's not as quick. So some people say it feels really natural. You can't even feel that it's there. Some people are like, this is strange and awful. It makes noise. So there's a debate going on whether or not there should be a female condom. Yeah. Okay, well, here is the question posed to the panel. The question is,

1:06:43Is there ever going to be a form of birth control that hasn't been invented already that is going to be safe, reliable, and most of all, that people will want to use? Furthermore, what do you think about this female condom, Woods? I think I'm a married man, but I think that I don't worry about condoms anymore. But if I did, I'd like to give it a shot. Yeah? Yeah. Just to see? Yeah, because any dude that knows about... Putting on a condom is not fun at all. No. It's not. You get it out of the box and you start freaking out. Oh, gosh. Lauren O'Brien. That's so awkward. Yeah, they're constantly coming up with new things, so they will. I don't know that the female condom is it. It sounds kind of suspicious. I don't know. I just don't get the mechanics of how it would actually work. Yeah. Seems less reliable than the old male condom. If it ain't broke, I'll fix it.

1:07:42That's right. Sometimes it breaks. That is true. Well, my thought on the female condom is if you're going to go that far, why not just use a condom? I don't get the advantage of it. I think it's something that a girl can do to help prevent it and not just leave it up to the guy. Sometimes girls can't trust all the guys. Maybe they say they put it on. Have you ever seen Knocked Up? Are you telling me that a woman doesn't know? Maybe if you're a little tipsy-croed. Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't be that tipsy-croed. But, yeah, I'm sure there's times where you don't know. I don't know. Where a woman goes, oh, yeah, I totally think you have a condom on. Either way... Man, you gotta be... Really? Either way, it's just something a woman can do herself to make sure that it's been done properly. Or it could break, like Wood said, and the guy's like, who cares? So can this one, probably. She won't know and keeps going with it. So can this one, probably. Terrence are listening. I know. This is an awkward conversation. Isn't it? Isn't it? Not to me. Not for having an adult conversation. We're not doing it joking around. I'm doing it joking around. Do not go in there. You guys, we're all grown-ups. You can talk about it. It's an important thing. I made a joke about it. It's a real thing. Yeah. I think as a female, maybe just buy the male ones.

1:09:11I don't know. I don't know. I don't trust it. Yeah, if you're a female and you want to be so responsible, why don't you get some condoms? Yeah. But I guess a guy could refuse. I can't wear that. If he's allergic to latex, he's allergic to latex. But I mean, he might just be like, I can't. Didn't feel good. Yeah, this new version of the female condom, it's called the FC2. They say it's cheaper and it uses a non-latex material. Oh, nice. I'm intrigued. I'll say that much. It looks like a long sheath with two soft rings at each end. Weird. How does it... Never mind. You get it. I get it, but like, isn't there the possibility that it comes out? I would think so. You know what I mean? I know, that's what I'm getting tripped out about. You snag a corner or something? Yeah. You would think that with a male one, too. No. That sucker's tight. Yeah. On the... Yeah. You all know. Really? You know what we're talking about? I'm just saying. Ow. It's heck. Like she's got to explain? All right. Next topic. Yeah, please. Oh, gosh. I thought to myself... Come on. I'm 40. He's 35. She's 29. We can discuss this like adults without sniggling.

1:10:20I was wrong. Yes, you were wrong. Well, once we started questioning the mechanics is where it all went wrong. I guess. Next up, this is fun. Yeah, this is fun. The guy that, first of all, I didn't even know what they were. I still don't know what they are. Chezz doodles. I don't think. I thought they were chezz doodles. Woodsy goes, or cheese doodles. It's C-H-E-E-Z, Chez. Do you know what they are, you guys? Yes. You've eaten them? I think it's, they're not really a California thing, because I don't know if I've ever had a cheese doodle, but the reason I wanted this in the news is because I liked saying cheese doodle. Well, it's basically Cheetos, isn't it? Yeah. Kind of. Yeah, it tastes different. Okay. A little more sharp. Yeah. Well, the inventor of them passed away at 90 years old, but the reason that I bring it up... is because I say, this is a question I'd like to ask the panel. In a hypothetical world, they're getting away with every snack in the universe, but they can keep one. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Chest Man cookies. What is it? Oh, yum. Chest Man cookies. Chest. Chest Man. Sounds kind of... Chest Man cookies. They're Pepperidge Farm shortbread. They're shortbreads. Yeah, they're good. They're butter like butter. Never had them.

1:11:36They're delicious. Can you get them at any grocery store? Absolutely. Chess man. You know Milano's? Yeah. They're right next to Milano's. It's the same. Pepperidge Farm makes them both. They got little chess characters in front. They're freaking delicious. Maybe we make that right this morning. Maybe we send Austin. We're doing it online. L-O-B. So they're outlining every snack in the world. Except for one. Except for one. What will you choose? I would have to say raw almonds. No, I'm just kidding. Lay's potato chips. Original? Regular. Barbecue? Either sour cream and onion or regular. I don't know. Toss up. You got to pick. I got to pick. Regular. Original Lay's potato chips are real good. They are good. There's no doubt about it. Good with a sandwich, man. For me, it's very simple. Doritos. Regular Doritos. Yes. There is no other brand. Yes, sir. Woods, you and those Cool Ranch. Delicious. Cool Ranch are good. Undeniably wrong. Undeniably wrong. Delicious. There's not a bad Dorito, Mike. Oh, there is. Yeah, the Salsa Verde is not that good. I'm sure you like it, but I don't like it. Mikey, you know you got some back in your 94.9 locker. Just a cache of Salsa Verde. Salsa Verde. If you don't believe me, open up your locker. Let's see.

1:13:02Next up, they say seven is the magic number for sleep. Yeah. Well, they as researchers at West Virginia University, they say that fewer than five hours a day, including naps, more than doubles the risk of being diagnosed with heart disease. What are you all smarmy about over there? I'm just saying. Maybe some of us listen to this report. Oh, my gosh. What are you talking about? How many hours do you get? Eight. No. With naps. With naps. 100%. I said nap three hours a day, pal. Do you really? Yes. Wow. I am so jealous. Yeah, me too. Make it right for yourselves, guys. But they say that if you sleep, they're saying seven is the magic number. If you sleep more than seven, it also can increase the risk for getting cardiovascular disease. There you go. That's filled with cardiovascular disease, I'm sure. Yeah. There's not even really a panel discussion. I was thinking that what I'd ask you guys is like, how many do you need? How many do you need? I feel at least six. Absolutely. At least six. I think since I started this job, I've been averaging. I don't get eight. I'm lying. I think I've been averaging between five and a half to seven. Me too. Pretty steadily. Yeah. With naps and everything. It's a little bit of a relief that eight's not the number anymore. Yeah. It's been hard for me even before this job to get eight hours of sleep. Well, we get up at, you know, I get up at three, between three and three thirty. And so that means I'm going to bed. What?

1:14:26Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Yeah, exactly. Seven o'clock. That doesn't happen. In the summertime? It's like sleeping on the sun. Yeah. So, this is a big, big issue right now. They are thinking about building a mosque. Yeah. Near the site of Ground Zero in New York City. Two blocks north of Ground Zero. I was going to ask you to define near. Two blocks. Two blocks away. Yep. Now, this brings up a... Whole host of issues. Here's Mayor Michael Bloomberg on it. Unlike in other places where they might actually ban people from wearing a burker or they might actually keep people from building a building. That's not what America was founded on, nor is it what America should become. All right. Well, I'm seeing on the news right now. And this is like, boom, like they're just saying it right now that they have voted to clear the way for it to happen.

1:15:31This was the deal with it. They were trying to see if the building that they were going to tear down for the moss to be built in its place was going to be declared to be a landmark. And apparently this vote has said, no, no landmark. They can build. They can build. Yeah, there's a real estate developer who owns these two buildings. They're two adjoining buildings. I mean, he said that he intends to build the Islamic center. Yeah. Now, hang on a minute. We got a lot more on this before we even start to discuss it. Yeah. Here's Newt Gingrich and his take on it. I'm quite happy if they'd come in and said we want to build a community center near Central Park. We'd like to build a community center near Columbia University. But they didn't. They said right at the edge of a place where let's be clear. Thousands of Americans were killed in an attack by radical Islamists. Sarah Palin. She's been very vocal about it. Very vocal. Weird. Twittered about it and said that it's wrong, that they shouldn't do it. Yeah. This is somebody that is on the Council for American Islamic Relations. Their faith and their community have nothing to do with 9-11. So why should we allow bigots?

1:16:55to limit the rights of American Muslims in New York to build? On what basis? Fear-mongering? Misunderstanding? Bigotry? Obviously, this is a touchy issue, but I've really thought about it. I want to tell you how I feel. There's a couple of issues at play. One of the issues is there's an emotional issue. The emotional issue is clear. Clearly, emotionally, we go, you can't do that. That's really wrong. I mean, American lives are lost. But you also have to understand that the Islamic culture doesn't necessarily say, let's fly planes into buildings. And that what you had was religious fundamentalists and zealots. And in addition to being fundamentalists and zealots, they were also... Right. Doing the crazy finger. Yeah. They were nuts. Cuckoo. They were cuckoo. And so...

1:18:01There's a couple issues. There's an emotional issue, which in that same category of emotional issue will say, is it tasteful? No, it's not tasteful. It's distasteful. It's insensitive. Is it? Yes. Yes, it is. It is fundamentally, it's insensitive. But see, I don't think that that's what's really at question. I think it's ironic, but I don't know if it's insensitive. There's certainly irony. But like I've said, you have two things right at once. Two things can be true at one time. And it is ironic, no doubt about it. But I also believe that since it was Islamic fundamentalists and I'm a organization that's considering putting my mosque somewhere. And I know that I'm two blocks from the biggest catastrophe in American history that was wrought by.

1:19:03my particular religion or whatever, I can tell you, I can't tell you from the Islamic point of view, but I can tell you from the Christian point of view because I'm Christian and we're talking about religion. My religion says that if I, that I shall not do something that would get in the way of you becoming a believer. In other words, if my behavior is going to keep you from believing, I shouldn't do it. Clearly that's not the case here, but. you have two issues you got the moral issue you got the emotional and moral issue and then you have like the whole issue of like do they have a right to do it if a law or an ordinance or a bill gets in the way of their right to do it i think it's weird right well i think it's weird if they're like we're gonna pass a law or a bill that says that they can't

1:20:05Have an Islamic center at all? Have an Islamic center two blocks from the World Trade Center. And the reason that we're passing this bill is because we think that it's insensitive. Well, I think that now you're getting into the way of what we're formed and based on. What it reminds me of is a little kid that just broke your window. And you look outside and you stand there holding a baseball, looking at you, just throwing up and catching it. Just like, hey, man, he's almost, I agree, they have a right to do that. A right. Yeah. Are they opening themselves up to some really bad stuff? Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's, you know, I mean, like they said, hey, build it at Columbia. Build it outside of Central Park. Why right there? Why right there? Well, let me ask you this, Ella, because I know, and I just want to put this out there before you comment. What I wonder is the mindset of the organization that says, well, we'd like to build there. OK, like because they are aware of the controversy, not only are they aware of the controversy, they're certainly aware of what you mentioned, the irony. And they're aware of the perceived real or not insensitivity of doing it. OK, so you're on the board to build. OK, so I'm asking myself, who is that guy? Well, maybe their hopes is to say that that that act of terrorism was not something that.

1:21:36comes from the Islamic beliefs, that these guys happen to be radicalists, like you said. Now, if it had been two Christians that flew into the towers, or however many, would we be upset if there was a church built there? Here's the deal. If they flew planes into a building, and it was the biggest catastrophe in the history of the United States, and they did it in the name of Jesus, What we would all know and think is, wow, they were really wacky. They were crazy. You know, they were crazy. But would we say that Christianity is built on terrorist beliefs and things like that? No, but what I would say is, is if they decided that they were going to build a Christian church two blocks from the site of where something really, well. Let's do it apples for apples instead of apples for oranges, which is what we're kind of doing. Let's say it's apples for apples. Let's say that it's in a Muslim nation. And a whack job Christian flew an airplane into a building in a Muslim nation. And they wanted to build, which, by the way, isn't the overriding religion of that land. Christianity is not the overriding religion of that land. And they decided they were going to build a Christian church two blocks from the site of where that.

1:22:55catastrophe happened would that be poor taste because that's all we're discussing they would be we're discussing the insensitivity of it all they would be but i think it's still a little bit apples and oranges because new york city is kind of like in my opinion the capital of the world i mean there are people from every different walks of you know every different walk of life that come to that city and congregate. It's a melting pot. It is. It's such a melting pot. Yeah, but, I mean, it's just, you go to ground zero for one thing, and it's, you're going to be passing that, and it's just, and that's going to be hard for people to see. It's going to, it's going to, like, if it would, if I walk, I've been to ground zero, I went to ground zero, I mean, a year after 9-11, and it's freaking eerie. And as an American, I'll tell you, if I walked by that church, my heart would race a little bit, and I'd be, I'd get probably pretty visibly upset. Now see, I might too, but I want to be clear about why. Not because I would be looking at the mosque going, you did this. It wouldn't be that. The thing that would kind of get me is, you know how hurt we are. You knew that there was a lot of controversy in building this. And you still, in light of the pain of this city and this country.

1:24:18decided to do this here yeah i don't know what that's what i think would be the cause because what's anger anger is hurt sadness and fear and what i think i would experience from that is hurt like really really yeah it's just like pouring salt in the wound but what if you're of that religion and you're like man i don't want to constantly be associated with the attacks were you know for for, you know, the Islamic faith and for those terrorist attacks to always be associated. Don't be next to Ground Zero. But what if it's a way to say, like, you know, we had, there was plenty of people of the Islamic faith that were in that building as well. And I guess the answer to that is, well, if you really think that building your mosque two blocks away from it is going to mend the bridge. Yeah. Maybe they hope over time. How would it? I don't know what the main motivator... I don't know if there's a lot of people in that area that either live there or work there that would utilize the mosque. I don't know what the main motivation is. I'd have to hear more about this part. Hey, and just so you know, there's a mosque around there anyway now. There is. It's in a basement. It's basically in a basement. It flies very low under the radar. But if it was already there before the attacks, that's one thing. But to add another right there, it's like, man, come on.

1:25:41You're just hurting people. You're kind of rough. Like I said, it's the little kid that broke your window, and he's like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? They have every right to build it. Yeah, they do. They have every right to build it. It all comes down to a question of just morals and ethics and smarts. There's going to be people that are going to mess with it. Think it through. That's the deal. They need to know that. You're opening yourself up to a lot of heartache and a lot of pain. You really are, and it's unfortunate. Yeah, fast forward the tape. Fast forward the tape. What's going to happen in a year? Six months, three days after you open it. When we come back, you're going to hear Sienna's hidden audio. Yes. Sienna secretly taped us. And apparently me and Woods and Jay. The guys. All of us are not going to like it. My heart's beating like a bunny right now. We'll be back. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up.

1:26:55Just a couple. FM 94.9. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Scion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wig. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the Casbah Local 94.9 stage. The silent comedy, the nervous records of burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets for $30 today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at fm949sd.com or independencejam.com. Eight vans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. 2010, a new frontier in space. If it's a new frontier, where's my flying car, asshole? Brides and Grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, August 8th. It's the Bridal Bazaar. There's flowers, there's caterers, there's cakes, there's everything is here. It's awesome. It's kind of everything's here so you can compare and get ideas.

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1:33:49This report, it is brought to you by REMAX. If you're looking to buy or sell a home, having the right agent is more important than ever. REMAX agents know their markets. They care enough to get to know you, too. Outstanding agents, outstanding results. Well, it looks like a problem here on the 15 southbound 9th Avenue. Two-car accident. They have moved it over to the right shoulder. But the 15 southbound before the 56th, there's an accident here as well. Two cars, they've got the fast lane blocked. And heading into Encinitas on the 5 southbound between Lucadia Boulevard, Santa Fe Drive, we're also seeing some slowing in that area. This report, it is brought to you also by Quiznos. Brought to you by Quiznos 543 Value Menu. Get a great lunch for $5, $4, or $3. Quiznos. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Toasty. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bert from Dragon Highwear for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for this Tuesday morning. Brought to you by Guayaquil Yerba Mate. Looking at a decrease in southwestern swell right now, which has been our primary form of energy. Touch of wind swell out there, too, but really not much to speak about.

1:35:06That combined combination of little swells keeping us in that kind of back to ankle, knee, occasional waist-high zone, top south-facing spots, still seeing occasional chest-high waves with a possible plus. But again, that should taper off as the day continues. Overcast skies will greet you in a little bit of a west-northwest wind, putting a texture bump on it already as well. Still not one of the better mornings, that's for sure. I'm going to give it a miss for right now and hope for better things. Looks like sunshine coming out later, even if the surf's small. Sunny, small surf is better than small, cloudy surf. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops' five locations or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you, of course, by Guayaquil, Yerba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I've seen a piece of broccoli in like eight years. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Woods. The best movie ever made, Footloose. Sienna. Todd and I went to downtown Louisville. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds on FM 94.9. You are not calling for word of the day right now. I'm just going to tell you what the word of the day is. In order for you to call for the word of the day, you have to hear the word of the day used in a sentence. The word of the day is...

1:36:36Trademark. Now, sometime between now and the end of the show, you will hear that used in a sentence. When you do, caller 9 at 570-1949 is going to win tickets to see the soft pack at the racetrack. Sienna, what's going on in the news? You may have seen all over the news yesterday. A small home-built airplane crashed on the 11th tee of the Admiral Baker Golf Course. This happened right before 1 p.m. yesterday. A woman was killed and a man and three children were critically injured, taken to Sharp Memorial Hospital. Crazy accident. It was really, really sad. BP, we talked about this yesterday. They were supposed to be doing their static kill procedure last night. Right. Well, that didn't happen. Weird, weird. It was delayed because of a small leak, but apparently it will be happening today. And now BP is saying that they may not even need the relief wells that they've been talking about for months now. It's good if they don't.

1:37:29Yeah, well, we'll see. They're still drilling them, just to make sure. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Padres whipped up on the Dodgers last night. They won 10-5. They had homers by Will Venable and Chase Headley. Miguel Tejada knocked in a couple of runs. Albert Hainsworth is still chubby and cannot pass his physical to even go practice. He failed again yesterday. So, Sienna got a little recorder. God bless. So fun. Yeah, it's like your little sister gets a new toy. My husband gave it to me for Mother's Day. It's like this tiny little recorder I keep in my purse. Thanks a lot, Todd. Yeah, thank you, Todd. Thanks, Todd. We get some audio of you, pal. You don't want that audio. So what Sienna does is she tapes us when we don't know it. She says that we're not going to like this. I never see this thing either. I forget. Right when I walk out of here, I've never seen it. I don't think I know what it looks like. You guys get so passionate. I mean, we all do about the dumbest things. We're idiots. And it's like, how can I not turn it on? We're idiots. Yeah, we are. Okay, so let's listen to Yesterday. I had pizza last night. Who went to that? Fatty. You had pizza last night and this stops you from eating pizza again?

1:38:43Listen how clearly, by the way, you hear Sienna. Because she's got the recorder. She's palming it in her head. It's tucked between her boobs. Hello. Talking about food, of course. Mike. You know what's weird? I don't even remember this. I knew it. It's food. This is our debate over what we're going to eat for lunch. I remember us debating what we're going to eat for lunch. But as I'm hearing this right now, I'm like... I don't even remember that being said. As freaking usual. I know it. I don't know the woods making fun of me. I'm healthy. I'm healthy. I heard it. I was like, I'm going to kill him. All pizza is good. Even if it's from a cafeteria. Even bad pizza. Not enough, apparently. Can we decide? I have an idea. What? Hear me out. No, no. Here we are.

1:39:41Immediately, no. If you say, hear me out, it's done. All of you guys don't know. Forget it. Just don't say, hear me out. This is going to be bad. This is going to be bad. This is going to be bad. We never get to go where I want to go. I'm the middle child. I'm the middle child. I want to be heard. So we have to go to a barn. You're going to go to a barn. A barn. Close, though. It's a vegetarian. Nope. I beat you to it by a hair. I beat you to it. Vegetarian place. Okay, but listen. I'm not taking you to a steakhouse. Listen, listen, listen. They have tofu wraps, so you can have your protein. And they're really good. Did she just say tofu wraps? Did she just say tofu wraps? It's a cold tortilla. Can I just ask, L.O.B., did you really? I know. I didn't think you guys would, but I was like, you guys are all on your protein kicks with your raw eggs and everything or whatever that...

1:40:50the hard-boiled eggs. Yeah. Plus, I don't even usually eat tofu, but these are good. Are they? If I put turkey and lettuce and tomatoes and wrapped it up in a tortilla, it's a wrap. Yeah. Do they have? It's filthy. It's disgusting. It's filthy. They have like peanut sauce in there, barbecue sauce. Then why don't we eat that? Asian food. You can't just eat barbecue sauce out of a bottle. It's only tofu. I can ladle it in my mouth. I'm not a huge tofu person, but they have really good tofu wrap. I'll wear skinny jeans before I wear it. Oh my gosh. Imagine that. I just imagined that. Let's go to someplace with a lot of calories. Burger King? Cheesecake Factory. If I had three hours to look at their menu, we could go to cheese. Come on. Don't knock it until you try it. L.O.B. I'm not eating tofu. You know why? I have a pee.

1:41:56Is that a piece? Oh, wow. I don't eat tofu. Well, Mikey has a piece, and he said he would wear skinny jeans. Good point. Is this about us eating tofu? I'm not eating tofu. Just keep going. Fabulous. I'm not skinny jeans right now. Well, I know. You can pull them off. Mr. Hips for Dad. Hips for Dad. I'm not eating tofu. I'm not eating tofu either. Period. Period. Period. Period. Period. Period. Period. Period. 100% fat and huge feet. Giant skis and a big fat fat hangar. Would you rather wear skinny jeans or eat a tofu? I would rather wear skinny jeans. I would easily rather wear skinny jeans. You guys are dramatic. You are. I would rather be in skinny jeans, go out on stage, have pigeons poo on me. I'm not eating tofu. I'm not eating tofu. Keep playing it. On stage and continue to play. Would you stay on stage? Would you wear colored skinny jeans? Would you stay on stage even though when you can't find your Sharpie? I want a red pair.

1:43:06Jake could probably pull off a red pair of skinny jeans. I have a red pair of skinny jeans. I want to try mine. You can borrow mine. Mike. That's Phidious. Phidious? Phidious. Freaking hideous. So, guys, where did we go eat yesterday? Subway. And what didn't we eat? Tofu. And what did you say you would rather do than eat tofu? Wear skinny jeans? Yeah, I'm not wearing skinny jeans. You guys, that was the deal. You just signed yourself up. I didn't make a bet. Yeah. Yes, you did. You said, and you all jumped on board and talked about how you would look in skinny jeans. Oh, I'd much rather have a lot of skinny jeans. Who cares? You still said it. Mike, you know who doesn't have to wear skinny jeans? Really? I guess we can't do bits anymore. Yeah, we can't riff. No more riffing. He'd rather wear skinny jeans than eat tofu. You just threw it out there, Mike. They don't make skinny jeans that Mikey and I would fit. Yeah, I can. They don't have skinny jeans that I would wear. Yes, they do. We can make it right. We can get them tailored. I'm just going to borrow L.O.B.'s. Yeah. I know. Mike, I offered you to wear my red skinny jeans. Like I could get my arm in a pair of your pants. Stretchy. Easy, Mike. Guys, this is what I'm talking about.

1:44:19You said, I would rather wear skinny jeans than eat tofu. We didn't go eat tofu. Yeah, I'm not wearing skinny jeans. You're wearing skinny jeans. And not only are you wearing skinny jeans. I'll wear tofu before I wear skinny jeans. The three of you will be wearing skinny jeans to the next meetup. No! Yes! Mike, you know, I would love you. That's what this is? Yes! I'll do the tuck back and wear a robe before I wear skinny jeans. I'm going to look a lot better. You can do the tuck back and wear skinny jeans. Yeah, there you go. You guys have to do it. You almost have to. I'll reenact this for everybody at the meet and greet before I wear skinny jeans. Mike, are you or are you not a man of your word? Oh, really? She's got you there. Are you? She's got you there. Are you going to lie and say? You guys, you guys, you guys. They don't make skinny jeans I would go into. How do you guys pull the religion card right now? How do you do that? How do you do that? I didn't say anything about religion. I just said, you're a man of integrity. And I would really... I can't even look at it. Once again, you get us where in trouble. Once again. How is it me? That big mouth got us in trouble. You just threw out there. Do we need to hear the audio again? The proof? You said, I would rather wear skinny jeans than eat tofu. I can't believe you guys are twisting this into...

1:45:38A bit for yourselves, real sweetly. Why not? I feel nauseous. Vomitous. How funny would it be to see all three of you guys? I'll do it. I'll do it because I think it's going to be hysterical. But I'm going to look like a fat turd. Jay was like all about it. Being that I kind of am a fat turd. No, you're not. Woods, they don't make. Yes, they do. I can't go to a place where they have them. We will find them. Yeah. Don't let that be the reason we don't do it. You can take a pair of old jeans that you have now and take them to the tailor and he can sew down the leg and make them nice and tight. Oh, my God. They got to be stretchy. Great. There's nothing. Look what we're into now. Do they make skinny jeans in size 38? I'm a 36. Show off. You guys can do it. They don't make 3830s, okay? Yeah, they don't make 3830s skinny jeans. They make 38s, and then you tailor them to be the little perfect. Our meet and greet is not until next Friday, the 13th. You have plenty of time to find a pair of stretchy jeans. No, here's the deal. Take them to the tailor if you need to. This is y'all's bit. You guys got to find the jeans. Find the skinny jeans. We will find them. Don't worry about it. How long do I have to wear them? Yeah, five minutes. The meet and greet. The whole meet and greet? Two hours. It's a two-hour meet and greet. At least an hour. Half of it.

1:46:56That's fideous. Stop with the fideous. Look what she did. You can't just make up words. Are you trying to get a new word in? That's freaking hideous. Are you getting a new word in? I just did. It's fideous. I don't like that word. Look what you got us into. I do. I said it. Look what you got us into. You threw it out like that. You threw down the gauntlet, my friend. Flippantly. You got flippant. You sat back. Your flippant mouth got us in trouble. You sat back with your feet up on the table. Yeah, your feet were on the table. Yeah. If you gave me a hundred guesses, it wouldn't be that it was the skinny jeans thing. It was, oh, we're eating tofu. I thought it was going to be the lunch. I knew it was the lunch conversation because it did get pretty passionate. Maybe I start getting some hidden audio, too. Imagine the three of you in different colors. Yeah, skinny jeans. Turquoise, purple, and pink. That's what we're going to find. Jay's going to look dynamite. Jay will look normal. What do you wear, by the way, with skinny jeans? Do I wear flip-flops? Yeah, what do you wear on your feet? Chain wallet. What do you wear on your... Vans, sneakers. Vans. No, cumbers. You'll get them. The Chucks. Chuck Taylors. Chuck Taylors, yeah. I wear Chucks. I wear skinny jeans. And what do you wear up top? A nice tight tee. Like an ACTC tee. No! I can't. I can't wear it.

1:48:08Wear whatever you want. I have nice big boobs. I can't. You can wear a jersey if you want, just as long as those skinny jeans are on. Wear your Shaq jersey that you swim in. You're such a monster. You're a monster with things. M1 skinny jean is on the line right now. What's up? My neighbor's got these two Sasquatch for teenagers. I can definitely borrow a couple pairs. Make that right. You guys need a couple flannels and a beanie? There you go. Flannels and beanie. I think they both have flannels. Do you realize that the worst form of punishment is humiliation? Absolutely. They're putting us up there to get stoned by me. Right, right, right. I didn't just throw out the skinny jeep. You did, my friend. Here's the thing. You guys, admittedly so, are always saying, like, it's the best thing since. Or you're like, I would rather do this than that. And we're calling you on it.

1:49:06It's time. Or Sienna's calling you on it, and I'm jumping on the bandwagon. It's time. Don't blame me. You say stuff all the time, dude. Maybe you guys shouldn't be so dramatic. It shouldn't be so dramatic. I pay the price. Real good. We called you on it. Oh, please don't do that. Oh, man. I don't want to win. It's done. Red-faced idiots. I have big fat thighs. Imagine the three of them walking in together wearing skinny jeans. Just holding hands. Mortified. Mortified. My face will be beet red. You have to have pictures all over Facebook. Stuffed into your pockets, too, and go, what's up? You with a little belt. Yeah. Chain wallet. M1Wubby from Bird Rock is on the line. Hi, Wubby. Good morning. Good morning. Well, let's see. I'm going to lend a little expertise as the mother of a teenage son with a skinny jeans fetish. They all, they love it. You're going to be able to find skinny jeans in your size at the following stores. Really? I'm writing this down. Yep. First, there's a Levi's store at Horton Plaza. The Levi's that you want to get are the 514s. Those are the skinnies.

1:50:20Burton Plaza. I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous. I have size 38 and 36. Jay's like 30. Men's department at Nordstrom's, Macy's, and JCPenney's all have a variety. I feel cold. The colors that you're looking for, purple, fuchsia. Oh, fuchsia. They won't have those in guy colors, will they? Oh, yeah. You mean to tell me that you haven't seen those punk kids wearing... Okay, all right, all right. I've seen them. I have Levi's Store, Horton Plaza. I want to be getting the 514s. Men's Department, Nordstrom's Macy's, JCPenney. Okay, I got your sizes. The JCPenney's has all the multiple colors in men's. Okay, I'll be going there after work today. Come on here to get embarrassed. We're dead. I say we all go together. We film it as we go. Oh, my gosh. Jay, I love your enthusiasm. Hey, this would be fun. I am going to look. Jake's going to look phenomenal. I'm going to look freaking hideous. Jake's going to look great. Like, girls are going to be like, what the hell are you doing? They're going to be like, hey, Chubbs, why are you wearing skis, first of all? And why is your fat gut hanging over the tights? Nobody's going to say that. They're going to go, oh, look, somebody made a Mexican muffin. You guys are... Hey, look at Mikey. He's a Mexican muffin with muffin hanging over the side of his pants. You know how tight it's going to be around our... Yes! Yeah.

1:51:45Oh, great. You do the jump back. Oh, great. Oh, great. I'm good at JCPenney today. And then we'll dance to this song, Mike. Oh, my gosh. Thanks a lot. I love you guys. Doesn't the Loverboy cover have the red pants or something? Yeah. Red. You gotta get red as a mix. Pants. I'm not kidding. I feel nauseous. I'm not kidding. I want to get, like, yellow. I feel happy. Yeah, weird. Look at her. She's dancing. So are we really going to do this? We're doing it, right? Hey, dude. Right now, I'm honestly in my head. I'm asking myself, is there a way for me to not do this? No. And be like any. No. Buddy, be like, ah, it's cool. He doesn't have to. Yeah, I would be. Maybe I start a petition. Awful person if I didn't. Yeah. Glad you know. Great. The one thing I said I'd never do, I have to do. I've done everything. I said I'd never do this. If you eat Indian food while you wear skinny jeans. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9.

1:53:08This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, this week, you can go see the Tempered Travitt House of Blues on Wednesday night. Silver Sun Pickups plays Soma Saturday night. And Tokyo Police Club hits the Casbah Sunday night. Next week, My Morning Jackets at the Open Air Theater on Wednesday the 11th. And the Soft Pack will play after the last race at the Del Mar Racetrack on Friday the 13th. You can also catch Reverend Horton Heat at House of Blues on the 14th. Or Coheed and Cambria at 4th and B, also on the 14th. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion hits Oceanside Pier on the 29th. And a few shows just announced. The Colt play 4th and B September 14th. Kelly from Block Party plays 4th and B on September 19th. And LCD Sound System will play Remack Arena with Hot Chip October 13th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows.

1:54:04The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. In each race where the third meets the third at Del Mar. Wednesdays have never looked so cool or so easy because this season, every Wednesday at Del Mar is officially free and easy. Ease into the racing week with free stretch run admission, free reserve seating, and a free program. Plus, enjoy half-price domestic draft beers, sodas, and hot dogs. Del Mar, cool as ever.

1:55:10Free Diamond Club membership required. Offer valid at select stretcher and concessions. Everyone is sharing information and personal experiences with their friends on Facebook. Whether it's a great recipe or a bad book, a special travel tip, or a not-so-spectacular date. Some of the most shared experiences on Facebook are about hair care. And Ovation Cell Therapy is getting shared with a lot of friends on Facebook. Here's what Sharon S. shared with her Facebook friends. For those who ask, Ovation is worth every penny. Between the coloring, the flat ironing, and the meds I have to take, my hair was falling out by the handfuls. I've been using Ovation for months now, and what a change. My stylist says my hair has never been healthier. Thanks, Ovation. Facebook friends love sharing their Ovation cell therapy stories of thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair. Find out how easy it is at OvationHair.com. Enter FM 94.9 at checkout for a special introductory offer.

1:56:05your hair can be healthy again, guaranteed at OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special offer. OvationHair.com. Mr. Opportunity, Mr. Opportunity, can you tell us what you're working on? Yeah, what's the latest? Guys, look, all I can say is that we're bringing the Honda clearance event back, okay? Well, what does that mean for the fans? It means now's your chance to save on all 2010 models. Mr. Opportunity, Mr. Opportunity, even a 2010 Accord? Yep, the spacious Accord. Well, what about a Civic? Yeah, the sporty Civic. What about a fit? Yes, the fun-to-drive fit. Look, it's your chance to save on any 2010 model from Honda. Mr. Opportunity, where did you find your new model? Yeah, she's gorgeous. Where'd you find her? Well, thanks for noticing. She's a new 2010 Accord Cross Tour, and I got her at the Honda clearance event.

1:56:53I gotta tell you, the hardest part was choosing a color. What about the rest of us? Do you think we have a shot at a deal like that? Sure, but hurry in, because it's the only thing from Honda that won't last. Okay, that's all, guys. Look, I gotta go. Mr. Opportunity! Please, wait, wait! I'm Mr. Opportunity, and I'm knocking. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Is the IRS ruining your life? Are you afraid of losing everything? You can end the despair you feel right now. Get ready to write down an important phone number you're going to need to help solve your IRS nightmare. Hello, I'm John Harris, president of J.K. Harrison Company, the nation's largest tax representation firm. IRS problems have a way of ruining every aspect of your life if you let them. They don't go away on their own. Your pension, your savings, even your Social Security checks. Over the past decade, the tax team at J.K. Harris has successfully negotiated settlements for our clients, saving them millions of dollars. If you owe the IRS back taxes, you may qualify to dramatically reduce your tax debt. Call 1-800-652-0339.

1:57:591-800-652-0339. Call J.K. Harris now. 1-800-652-0339. That's 1-800-652-0339. You are so hard to read. I am. I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. It's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are blue on the labels. No guessing. What? Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Saturday, August 7th, don't miss your chance to get a free Del Mar pint glass set featuring the queen of racing, thoroughbred superstar Zenyatta. Free with racetrack admission. If you are a Time Warner Cable customer, here's some facts you need to know. ESPN's current agreements with Time Warner Cable will expire on September 2nd. And they may stop carrying your favorite ESPN networks. You don't need to be put in the middle. So... We are working hard to reach an agreement. In the meantime, know that you do have choices. There are other providers available to you. For more information, call 877-5-I-HAVE-CHOICES or go to ihavechoices.com.

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2:00:24On the eastbound ramp to College Avenue, a car stuck. It's in the number two lane. Also, big problem here in Escondido. On the 15 southbound at the 78, it's an injury accident. Three cars involving a motorcycle and a semi. The semi and the car over on that right shoulder. Motorcycle in the center divider. An ambulance has already been on the scene. They're just waiting for that tow truck to hook up that motorcycle. Escondido, 15 southbound between 78 Center City Parkway. Pretty much stop and go right now. It's in the teens in some spots. This report also brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Wawanese Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage. For your auto home or your condo, call 877-WA-WANESA or go to wawinicus.com. That rate shopping, it can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZC San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. And Lauren. I have a very keen sense of smell. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the plane.

2:01:26Okay. Zienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. Got a text message. You can text us at 949mikey at gmail.com. Got a text message from M1Hawk. That's Woodsy's dad. Hi, Dad. Hey. Says, hey, guys, can you give a shout-out to my better half today? It's mine and Marcia's 25th wedding anniversary today. That's right. Aw, good man. That's nice. Marsha is the best, and she completes me. Thanks, all. Let's see. Mikey, please post Lauren's shark video on your site when you find it. Thank you. M1HQ. Still looking. How have we not seen that? She's not giving it up. Here's the deal. And she's not giving you the video. Lauren. Lauren O'Brien did a whole play with her sister. Yeah, I wrote it. I directed it. I provided the props.

2:02:48It's like for little kids, she was a shark. I acted in it. You're an actress in it? I was a voiceover for the sharks. You really did it all. Well, my sister helped a whole lot. Yeah. But anyway, don't worry. We'll get it. It's... We'll get it. It's not that great. This text says, Mikey, I'm an American Muslim, but I think it's adding insult to injury by building a mosque. So close to ground zero. I think it's an ethical issue, and if they build a mosque, it is unethical. M1ONMJ. Interesting. Our number, 570-1949. M1 Brian. Hi, Brian. Hi, how are you? This is Brian. I work with Ian at Tried and True Theaters. Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah, that's my guy. Yeah, yeah. You just scared me so bad. I thought... Oh, my gosh. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I have a pair of Seven for All Mankind jeans that are 38s and they're skinny jeans. But I bet you're tall.

2:03:56Have you ever heard of a tailor, Mike? Are you going to give them to me, Brian? Yeah, I can drop them by. Yeah. Huge. Brian. Brian. I'm going to check Michael to make sure my wife didn't get rid of him. I'm sure she did, pal. Yeah. Yeah, if that's a deal, then yeah, let's make that right. But wait. Yeah, maybe we have Ian come over and we do some cool stuff with audio video too. But I thought they wanted us in multicolored jeans, Mike. We do. I'd like to see you in some future videos. Sienna just gave me a look that her eyes just said to me, oh, we do. Oh, they do. And we're going to get it. These ones are nice because they're stretchy and they're comfy because they're 17. So then you'll be styling. Oh, my God. It's going to be amazing. Yeah. Define amazing. Terrible. We don't necessarily want him to be comfortable. Oh, my gosh. Terrible. Brian, I take you up on your offer. I'd love to take a look at them. Yeah, bring them in, man. Ian at Tried and True is the best. Thank you, bro. No problem. Thank you. Let's see. M1, Jason from Claremont. What's up? Hey, what's up, guys? How you doing today? Good. Good. Love you guys, first of all. Thank you, bro. Second of all, the seven is probably linked with my wife.

2:05:14You know, I mean, you guys got to feel me out here, but I got my buddies who are going on these bachelor parties, okay? You know, it's a requirement, you know? Okay, so I've gone on two already this year. It's a requirement. Are you in the weddings, first of all? Yeah. Yes. Okay, well, then it kind of is. Okay, these are my longtime buddies. I mean, my wife's coming at me saying, well, how come you've got all this money to, you know, to go on these bachelor parties? I've got them coming up, and I've got a golf outing, and I've got a Palm Springs thing coming up still. You know, but you don't have money for us to go on vacation. Is that true? It's not true. I mean, you know, we take our vacation, take our vacation. But, you know, it's just like, granted, it's going to hurt a little bit to do these things. I'm not rich, but, you know, it's a tough situation. Okay, but if she's saying, if she's, well, wait a minute. If she's saying that you are going on bachelor parties, but you're not going on vacation. Right. To me... Right. Correct. Yeah, what's your defense to that? What's what? What is your defense to that? There's no difference. You know, just like I said, the money's a little tight. These are my buddies. What am I supposed to do? What about the golf outing? It's a bachelor party. That's part of a bachelor party, too? The golf outing? Yeah, it is a bachelor. It's a second bachelor party. There's two more bachelor parties. I got four buddies this year that got married. Wow.

2:06:42Dude, that's like, hey, you know what? I had one of those years. That's like a business trip, Val. It has to be done. Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? How do you say no? Yeah. Like this. No. Really? Yeah. How do you say no to your buddy? Yeah. You do it like this. You do it like this. You go, listen, bro. Okay. Woodsy, me and you will reenact it. Hey, bro. Yeah. I'm getting married, as you know. Yeah. As you know. And a bunch of us are going to go out and we're going to play, have a long golf weekend, just kind of hang out, really bond and stuff. Pause, though. We must. I have to figure something out before we begin this. Okay, no problem. We are friends. It's not like I'm the best man. No, you're in the maletting, though. You're a groomsman. You want me to be a groomsman, but we're not like best men. I'm not the best man. Well, you're a groomsman. Okay, fine. You're one of the best men. I understand. My brother is my best man. You're one of the best men. No, no, no, dude. There's groomsmen and there's best men. Right, my best men. are up there with me. Best men. Best men stand up there with you. Those are my best men, brother. Best ladies. Two words for you. Police. You have a best man and you got groomsmen. Yeah, my brother's my best man. If you have a sibling, they automatically get the title of best. You're in the wedding, pal. Okay. And I'd love to have you out. I'd love to have you out. We're all going to be out there. All the groomsmen are coming.

2:07:56We're going to eat nice meals. We're going to play golf, have some wine, do whatever. I know you don't drink, but maybe you can DD, but we'd love to have you there. We'd love to have you there. Got to have you there, man. You're in the wedding. Woodsy, this kills me, dude. There's nothing more I want to do. I wish I could be there so bad. My issue is that money's tight, and I haven't done jack with my family. Yeah, that's cool, man. I'll probably get married again, so it's no big deal. Have fun at Legoland. I tried to say no to one of my friends one time, and you can't. Her wedding was in Puerto Vallarta. I was pregnant. I had the best excuse in the book. What am I going to do in Puerto Vallarta? Fat whale of a bride standing on the beach sober. And I went, and I forked out the dough, and it was like, you just can't say no. It's called guy code, pal. It's guy code. I know it is. I know it is. I know it is. I know it is. But you can't put... That before your, like, family. It just depends. Wait, isn't that creepy? It depends. Band of Brothers, dude. Maybe you run it sometime. Any wedding. Any bachelor party. Say again, Jason? I could not go to any bachelor parties next year because there's not a wedding. It's not like at the end, but I will go on vacation with my wife and my family. He's having one of those years. Yeah. Where it just happens. Has she been asking for a while to go on vacation?

2:09:22Not really. She's a woman, right? I mean, she just feels a little slighted, you know? I'm sure she's going to have her girlfriends that get married next year, and then what? Can you, like, maybe manage to do a little weekend in, like, Palm Springs or, you know, a day up at Disneyland with the kids? Like, something to make up for it? I could probably do that, yeah. A quote-unquote staycation? Oh, gosh. Kill me with that word. I know, but I mean something because you have to give her something. Well, it sounds like Jason's from the East Coast. I don't think that's the issue. I really don't think that's the issue. It's just, you know, I'm not going to have to go on her bachelorette parties next year at all. You know, I wouldn't do that. But it's just it's one of those years, like you said. Are you originally from the East Coast? You sound like it. Yeah, me too. And I've had a couple of those years where all your vacation time is dedicated to getting back there. Lauren, if you had that year and I was married to you and that was happening, I'd be like, hey, babe, I think it's great that you're going on all these, you know, bachelorette deals. But if, you know, we got to take a vacation as a family, too.

2:10:26Not everybody gets the luxury of a vacation every year. So if she had been asking and he kept being like, no, because I'd rather do this, then that's one thing. But now she's kind of. I feel like it's in defense to him going on the bachelor party. She's like, well, what about me? Dude, if I go to a bachelor party overtaking my family on a vacation, I'm kind of a jerk. But what about the people, too, that just cannot afford to do the whole bachelor party thing? You have to choose. Should you be punished because, you know, you're in the wedding and you can't afford to go? That's not your fault. This guy can afford to go. He can afford to go, but he can't afford to do that. Yeah, he can afford to go to the bachelor party, but he can't afford to go to the bachelor party and go.

2:11:08But why do bachelor parties, you know, you have to think of it like this, too. Like, why do they have to be away for a weekend? Why can't it just be like a night here, go to Cheetah's or whatever you want to do? Well, when you have people back on the East Coast, it's just kind of a concession that you make when you decide you're going to live out here but be from somewhere else. If you want to keep those people in your life. You just don't understand a wife that doesn't understand that you have your buddies and you have to go on a trip or do something with your buddies for their last hurrah. I mean, come on, we play college baseball together, so this is what we do. You got to do it. Yeah, but Jason, Jason, if my issue, fine, you go on all of them that you want, I would think, but is going on these deals going to keep you from taking a family vacation? Can they keep me from more than that? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, and that's what it sounds like. It's going to keep you from a family vacation. If it's going to keep you from a family vacation, dude. Well, what if he makes a promise and keeps it? That they will go next year and it will be more than a weekend. I mean, I guess if she's cool with that. Make the promise and keep it. It's just one of those years. If she's cool with that, it don't sound like she's cool with that. I think you, I mean, you definitely need to do something, you know, and just say, like, I understand. Like, I totally see where you're coming from. You have completely valid points. Like, I want to do something to make up, you know, make it up to you.

2:12:37Nah. I'll give it a shot. I do. I'm on your side. I'm a chick. Yeah. Thanks, Jason. I love you guys. Love you, man. Bye. Dude. Come on. Sorry. The line's been drawn. I get it. I guarantee. I'm not trying to hurt you, bro. I understand. I love you, dude. I wish I could be there. You know that. We'll be on the golf course, pal. Don't play that. Tell your old lady I said hi. Come on. You're going to do this? Hey, can you grab your balls out of her purse before I leave? Let's do something just special. No, let's not. I already got the whole special thing planned. Let's do something special. Let's do something special right here where it's not going to cost us. We get all the guys together. We do something. No, we get all the guys together here in town so that it doesn't cost me, you know. 2,000 bucks or whatever. Sorry, if it's money, dude, I can chip in on it. Hey, Woods, I'm in. Okay, Jay, good to see you. Yeah, let's go. Check your sack and I'll see you out in the car. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

2:13:37Kills me. I brought my balls with me. I see both sides. I mean, it's real easy for me to be like, oh, yeah, you know, it's hard to say no. But, man, if I was his wife, too, I'd be like, really? Another? Four? Another? Four is excessive, right? Any guy is going to have a hard time with that with his wife. I've been there with the, it's just one of those years. And my entire vacation time gets eaten up by, like, going to these things. But it's just like, well, if it's a good friend, hopefully you only get married once, you know? Hey, you're getting married, pal. Let's talk in three years. I know it's real easy for you to tell me what you're telling me, but let's talk in three years, buddy. Okay. Check your sack. I'll see you. Really? I just think if she had been asking and asking and asking and he's denying her and being like, no, no, no, this is more important. But the fact that now that he's already going, she's kind of like upset. Hey, listen. This used to be me. You're not playing poker this weekend? What's the matter with you? Dude, I'm married. I'm like... Really? You're not allowed? This was me, by the way, before I was married. What is the matter with you? Yeah. Can I play poker with us? What is the matter? I got married. I'm like, I can't play poker this weekend. I'm married. What? That's right. Don't ever say that. That is not true. You're like, I'm not allowed. Hang on. I'm not allowed. I can play poker. I can play poker. But what I'm saying is, is that there's times.

2:15:02Where I have other obligations. There's times, but it doesn't mean you can never play poker because you're married. No, no, no. It doesn't mean that you're never going to play poker again. But what it does mean is, is that when I'm, now that, it isn't just about me anymore. Well, obviously. That's true. But you just gave the bit of, you literally said verbatim. I was trying to be sarcastic. It's more like, what would make more sense is, I got three kids. You know? It's like this. That's more. People, now, if I get asked to play poker, I'll be, I'm just going to be honest. I'm really not playing a lot of poker on the weekends anymore. Now, I can't. If you call Rebecca right now and you go, can Mike play poker on the weekend? She'd go, absolutely. But if I have to decide, I got week, you know, all during the week. This was me last night. I got home from our meeting. At 4.15 or something? Yeah. Late. It was a beating. Something like that. It's a beating. It is. It's a 12-hour day. We got here early, early, and I hit traffic going up. Yeah. Bad traffic. So I got home. I got a ticket. Oh, yeah. We got to talk about that. Write that down for me to not forget. Okay. Finally somebody other than me. I know it. I got home at 4.15, walked in the house.

2:16:17Instantly the smell of delicious pork chops because my wife's rad. Give her a kiss. Hi, honey. I pick up Ryan. He's smiling. Really super happy. Literally hold him for two minutes. Put him down. Pick up Luke. Luke could care less. What are you picking me up for? Because I love you. You're my son. That's why. I'm picking you up because you're my son. Put me down. I don't want to put you down. I love you. I love you. Put me down. Put me down. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. That's really how it is. Yeah. Luke is not the warmest. So I put him down. Thank you. Give Jakey a big hug. I spent maybe 10 minutes with all of that. I said, babe, I got to write. She goes, okay. So go in the office. I have to write. Some writing, writing, writing, writing, writing. She comes in about 10 minutes later. She goes, dinner's ready. So I go in, and for that 15 minutes of dinner, I'm having great family time, and we're catching up, and it is fun, and it's cool. Soon as that dinner's over, I got to write. Back in the office, writing. It's now 6 o'clock. It's 9-9. Time for 9-9. So by the time the weekend rolls around, it's got to be about Rebecca and Jake and Luke and Ryan. It has to be. Here's the difference, though. You want to do that.

2:17:41That's your choice and your priority, you know? That's it. Absolutely. But to be told, you're not being told by anybody. No. You can't. That's why I'm telling M1 whatever his name. I already forgot. Jason. Jason. That's what I'm telling Jason. Jason, you can go, but I don't think that's very wise. No, I don't think he's a D or anything because he's going. I think, you know, you got to make the missus happy first, right? We all know that. Priority. It's your wife, right? We got to know that. But in his defense. She does need to understand that, hey, I can't, like, that is an obligation, man. To be in somebody's wedding is an obligation. And it's an honor. It's a thing of honor. That's why you ask them to be a groomsman. That's why you ask. Hey, bro, you don't want to be a groomsman, stand up there, get to walk a pretty girl down the aisle? Say no. You said yes. You've got to go. We're wired different. We're wired different. If it were me, and I'd be hurt. I would be hurt. I would. What if I asked Jay? And J.R. and Jeremy and Jesse and all the guys that work, they're like, you guys are my wedding. I know Mikey won't go to the bachelor party, so I'm not even going to ask him. You would be, you'd be like, oh, my God, I've got to dig a hole for myself. Compare apples to apples. Well, you know what I'm saying? Give me the real example. Like, what if you were getting married? You know what I mean? Like, I would be hurt if I was getting married and I asked you and you said you couldn't do it because you had to go on vacation. Yes. It would kill you. At the end of the day, though, don't I have to go, holy cow, this guy's got.

2:19:06A wife and three kids. What do I expect him to do? Go back to his wife and three kids and go, hey, listen, his wedding's more important and more honorable than our marriage. Well, kids are... That's not what you're saying. Aren't you? No, you're not. You're saying, babe, this is one of my best friends. Yeah. I gotta be there for him. She'll probably understand. She probably will. Aren't we talking about four weekends? Yeah. Four weekends in a year. So you can't give up four weekends in a year to go hang with your boys. Great point. Because another thing is, okay, you can't afford a vacation. Where do we live? Dude, I can give up nine weekends to go hang with my boys. We live in San Diego. We go nine weekends hanging with my boys. But we're talking, the whole reason we're even having this conversation, how much does that freaking cost? Well, I think, yeah, and he's... Well, he said he could afford it. He said he can get it. But he can't do that. And she's got to wait. Well, here are the options. She has to wait. You live in San Diego. You go to the beach. You go to the beach. You go camping. Camping is cheap. I just did it. Take the kids out there. They love it. I'm down. I mean, listen, honestly, as long as you say to your wife, hey, listen.

2:20:10I'm going to go to these three bachelor parties, and our vacation this year is going to be down at Cardiff where all those mobile homes are parked. We're going to go out there. We're going to set up our mobile home. Well, we don't have one, so we'll set up a tent. It shouldn't matter. And we'll take all the kids out there, and we'll tent. It's the sentiment. As long as we're together. It shouldn't matter where you go. Okay, great. It's the quality time. And if she's like, okay, great. Really? But next year, honey, wherever you want to go, I'll start saving today. Cleveland, Ohio, here we come. Here we come. Delaware. Yeah, Delaware. Rhode Island. Get ready, babe. Maine. We're going to Dover. Maine is beautiful in the summer. As long as it's just one of those years and he's not just, like, that's the norm. I don't take vacations with my family. Right. I don't think it's the norm. I think it's just one of those years. As long as he's not calling old buddies and going, hey, man, are you having a bachelor party anytime soon that I can get in on? Because I've got to get the hell out of here. Can I just pretend I'm in there? For the record, I've got no disagreement with anybody. It's one of those years. I'm down with that philosophy. up until the point that my wife's feelings are really jacked. If I'm jacking my wife over, if she's fine with that, we're good. As soon as my wife is like, hurt? I think it has to be a conversation. It can't be like, well, listen, I have to go. I think it's more of like, so I'm going no matter what. I think you have to sit down with her and be like, look, yeah. That's right. I do have to go.

2:21:31Kids just trying to be dynamic. Yeah, just trying to be dynamic, be a good friend of people. We're married. I love you. You know I love you. I see you every day. I never see these guys. I'm going. I think it's fair to be understanding of why someone would be hurt. Yeah, I've heard your feelings. I've processed them. Now I've got a flight to catch to Vegas. I love you. I'll see you when I get back. Will you pick me up from the airport? Can I borrow $300? Wow. That's exactly how that convo went. Put some of that gum out of your purse for the plane on my ears to get all messed up. I'll tell you right now, Mikey, I tell my girlfriend Shaniqua what's up. Oh, wow. If I need something to happen, I just say, hey, look, Shaniqua, I'm off this weekend. I'm playing golf with the boys in Mexico, and there's nothing you can do about it. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have boys. I don't know what you're talking about. You don't have either one of those. You only have golf clubs, Hoyle. I have a Nubian princess girlfriend. We met on firstbase.com, and I love her. Have you met her yet? We haven't physically met, no. Steven Tyler says that he's going to join the cast of American Idol, but is he being sarcastic? Because we have audio of him saying it, and I've heard it three times, and I'm not sure if he's being for real or if he's being sarcastic, and I mean that. Like, you will definitely go, I could go either way. I'm not sure. So I'll play it for you. Also,

2:22:57I haven't heard from Senior Beans for a while. Woodsy's little dog. One of Woodsy's little Yorkies. We'll do that coming up time. Oh, and you know what else? Got to be listening for that alert of the day. Pop it in. Call now. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Sion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wig. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the Kappa Local 94.9 stage.

2:24:07The silent comedy, the nervous records, the burning of Rome, and White Apple Tree. Get your tickets for $30 today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. Eight vans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM949 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Honest Tea. FM 94.9 welcomes the soft pack on August 13th for the 2010 Del Mar Summer Concert Series at the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club and Racetrack. Four o'clock Friday concerts. They're held at the Seaside Stage next to the Seaside Terrace Cabana. And all shows are free with your track admission. Come out and enjoy exciting racing action. And then stay for the free concert after the races. Visit www.delmarscene.com. everybody likes to see a clean car or truck but it's the oil you can't see that benefits most from being clean changing your oil and filter before they get dirty helps keep your vehicle running right for most models that's every three months or three thousand miles changing the oil is the single most important thing you can do for your vehicle keep it clean with the top name brands at low prices

2:25:22from the helpful professional parts people at the Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts store near you. Maximum vehicle protection costs less at Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts. Stop in and save on your next oil change with five quarts of Castrol GTX motor oil and a MicroGuard filter for only $16.99. Get proven performance with the Castrol oil and MicroGuard filter special only $16.99 at Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. Woodsy has got... 20-20 vision. Yes, I do. It's awesome. In both eyes, man. I'm seeing as clear or clearer than I've seen since I've been 12 years old, man. Are you serious? Yeah, it's incredible. Every day. You know the cool thing? Every day it gets a little bit better. It's amazing. I can see so clear. Get to wear shades now. It's the best. Don't have to wear my goofy glasses. It's the greatest. You need to have a catchphrase. My catchphrase? Yeah, you need to have a catchphrase. Like, keep your eye on this guy.

2:26:28Oh, wow. That's great, Mike. Yeah, that is a great catchphrase. Yeah, trademark that. Yeah, I will trademark that. I went to Clearview Eye and Medical Laser Center. I met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her entire staff. Could not have been nicer, sweeter. I was a little nervous, to be honest with you, going into the procedure. Bro, 10 minutes in and out, pain-free. It was unbelievable. I was seeing 2020 the next morning. Ten minutes. Ten minutes. Ten minutes. It was absolutely phenomenal. Affordability is a big key and a big player for Dr. Feldman and her staff. They can work with you on some plans. Zero percent interest financing is available. Go check them out. You can call them at 858-452-3937. Or you can check them out online at www.clearvieweyes.com. Affordability, technology, and experience. That's why I went there. It's awesome. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 117, Silva versus Sonnen. The number one middleweight contender, Shale Sonnen. I'm not here to be number two. I'm here to be number one. I don't celebrate silver medals. I'm here for 12 pounds of gold, and I'm going to get it on August 7th. Looks to dethrone the most dominant champion of all time, Anderson the Spider Silva.

2:27:41Anderson wants a fight. He just found one. He's finally going to fight the number one contender. No one has come close to defeating the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. I acknowledge that he's a fantastic fighter. He is the champion, but I am the best. Plus, John Fitch takes on Tiago Alves. Tequila Casadores presents UFC 117, Silva vs. Sonnen, live Saturday, August 7th from Oracle Arena in Oakland, California, only on Pay-Per-View. Order using your Cox remote by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. Waiting. Watching. Wondering. You've been putting off that new car long enough. It's time for a new car and a better way to buy it. Introducing Mission Federal Credit Union's easy car loan. Incredibly low rates. Incredibly affordable payments. Incredibly easy. And my best friend just got an easy car loan at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust stability. Surface the way it ought to be. Oh, yeah. My sister just got an easy car loan at Mission Fed. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. And now, with the Mission Fed easy car loan, your dream car even closer. Mission Federal Credit Union. Not your same old banking. My next-door neighbor just got an easy car loan at Mission Fed. Just like that. Apply today. Call 800-500-6328 or go to missionfcu.org.

2:29:11Mission Federal Credit Union, San Diego banks at Mission Fed. Mission Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Have you heard? Proactiv is new and better than ever. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, we have great news. With new Proactiv, your acne can heal and you can prevent new breakouts from happening. Be one of the first to try it by giving us a call at 1-800-277-1134. Because we're going to let a million people try new proactive risk-free and also receive our legendary refining mask and green tea moisturizer free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first to try new and better than ever proactive solution. You'll receive a 60-day risk-free trial plus a free refining mask and green tea moisturizer. Call 1-800-277-1134. This is our best radio offer ever. Get your risk-free 60-day trial of new proactive plus two free extras. Show acne who's boss. Be proactive. Call 1-800-277-1134. That's 1-800-277-1134. Okay, you know Kelly from Block Party? You can see them live Sunday, September 19th at 4th and B. Kelly at 4th and B, Sunday, September 19th.

2:30:35Here's some songs from his new solo album, The Boxer. Tickets are on sale this Friday at the 4th & B box office, Ticketmaster.com, or 800-745-3000. Produced by AEG Live, 21 and up. Okay, let me guess. I'd like to turn myself in, officer. You can't turn yourself in on the side of the road, sir. But I got this Mini Cooper with three years or 36,000 miles of no-cost maintenance and six airbags, and I only paid $19,500. That's not a crime, sir. But it also came with 37 MPG, which I just withheld from you. Congratulations. But I've made a mockery. Okay, move it along. The Mini Cooper. It's a steal, but it's not stolen. Get 1.9% APR financing for up to 60 months on all new Mini models from now until August 31st. For details, visit miniusa.com slash info. MSRP includes destination handling, excludes license registration, taxes, and options. Pick up Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the candy aisle at your favorite store and treat yourself to the perfect combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Reese's Perfect.

2:31:28This report, it's brought to you by REMAX. If you're looking to buy or sell a home, having the right agent is more important than ever. REMAX agents know their markets. They care enough to get to know you, too. Outstanding agents, outstanding results. Heading on the 5 northbound before the 163, two-car accident. It's over on that right shoulder, but no injuries. Also, the 15 northbound at the 8. We've got an accident here. It's a solo vehicle over on the right shoulder. Checking out the 5 northbound at Old Town Avenue. There is a sprinkler going off. And it's watering the number four lane. Not sure if it's growing or not. But the traffic is because it's slippery when those things happen. So be careful. This report is brought to you by Discovery Channel. Shark Week is back. It's the most wonderful time of the year. So enjoy a good scare, America. You're welcome. Happy Shark Week starting tonight at 9 Eastern Pacific on Discovery. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I make up lyrics if I don't know them. Lauren. One of the reasons I don't like paper plate. Wasteful. Woods. I'm a butt grabber. I'm a boob grabber. Zienna. That's why I keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times. And Jay. There's no doubt in my mind there is only one soulmate for everyone. On FM 94.9. Tal Cruz has the number one pop song in the country with dynamite. It's your fault that I like this song. Because we play it.

2:32:57We play all the number ones. Number one, we give you the number one pop, alternative country, and rock songs in the country. There's a lot of auto-tune in that one, huh? Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, residents in Virginia's Fairfax County got a pretty interesting warning recently. A warning from authorities about homemade mailbox bombs. Apparently there's been 11 devices that's been placed randomly in homes over there. And they're guessing they're just pranks from, you know, like young kids. But you can... I guess you can make them yourself. I'm sure guys know all about it, but I didn't. So people have to be really careful to stay away from their mailboxes and to check them really carefully. Scary. Also, there is a man running barefoot for a youth charity. This guy's name is Matt Jenkins, and he's literally running 30 miles a day without shoes across North Carolina. He works for a program called the Western Youth Network, and he's just trying to raise money and awareness for it. I mean, imagine.

2:34:01Barefoot, running on the asphalt. That's cool. Got to hand it to that guy. Got to hand it to him, right? Yep. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, we talked a little bit earlier. Dez Bryant is going to be out four to six weeks. He has a high ankle sprain, and that's probably caused by not carrying Roy Williams' pad in practice. I think that's actually the diagnosis for it. And also, the Padres won last night over the Dodgers, who are reeling. They are 5-13 since the break. And the Padres are looking good. They're taking on the Dodgers tonight. Let's see. M1RJ from Santee knew that the word of the day was? Trademark. That is correct. You want some tickets to see the soft pack at the Del Mar racetrack. Congratulations to you, RJ. Did we get your information? No. We did not. Hang on the line, please. Congrats. It's very nice. Let's see. Want to let you know that tonight's 8 o'clock album is X. More fun in the new world is the name of the song. Let's see. Name of the album. Album. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. More Fun in the New World is the name of the album. There you go. Zaya said the song. Yeah. Okay. So, Woodsy. Yes. Meet and Greet coming up. We announced that. Yes. It's going to be August 13th from 5 to 7, and you, me, and Jay will be wearing skinny jeans. Apparently so. Thanks to you. I've got a lot of messages on where I can go to find them. Great. I think I may be making a trip to JCPenney soon. That's great.

2:35:32And Woodsy's actually going to be bringing Senior Beans. I think so, yeah. I mean, if they'll let us, I think they will, won't they? Maybe call ahead. Maybe make that right. I like to break rules. I know you do. Maybe I get booted and then I get to leave. Yeah. And I won't have to wear the skinny jeans. No. Yeah, that could happen. You have to stay. Maybe I bring all my dogs. No. Hey, Papi. Hi, buddy. What are you doing? I'm sitting here in Yale. What do you think I'm doing? Senior Beans. Where's Mama? Mama Yemi? Uh-huh. No, the other mama. Mama Yemi, yeah. Mama Yemi inside, chopping on the computer. She leaves you outside in jail while she's inside? Yeah, she's chopping. She's chopping the computer and you're in jail? No. That's crazy. No, Blondie. She is chopping. Oh, chopping. Like, you know, the Amazon. Amazon. And doing all the different, getting the different handbag and everything. Yeah, she has a little bit of a purse problem. Wow. Hey, puppy. Yeah. I'm going to pick with you. Oh, weird. Okay. How come I see on the television, I see the Lindsay Lohan, okay? And she get a sentence of 90 days. That's right. Okay. And then she surfed, what, like two weeks or something? Yeah, 13 days. 14 days. Did you hear they let her out of jail? Yeah, I heard that. They let her out yesterday. That's right.

2:37:00From good behavior. What is your bone to pick with me? I behave well. Do you? Is he a good dog? Do you, Beans? Sometimes I go pee-pee in front of you. Sometimes you do. But, Poppy, why do you send me straight to rehab like they do with Lindsay and then it's okay? I don't. I don't. Senior Beans, what would you need to go to rehab for? Well, maybe some people say it's because I like to sell illegal IDs to people. Yeah. I don't think you need to go to rehab for that. You need to cut it out. So maybe I have to go to fake ID rehab. No. Maybe like bacon rehab. Bacon rehab, maybe. You do eat a lot. Dude, you're getting a little chubby. You're getting a little doughy. Just a little bit. You bring some. Bacon home today. Yeah, I will bring some home. You're just feeding the addiction. I know, but he loves it so much. You should see his little face when I bring home the bacon. You bring it to me today? I bring it today. Yeah, then I go to bacon rehab and you let me out. I'll let you out of jail. As soon as I get home, I will. Senior Beans, you don't realize if you go to bacon rehab, then you never can have bacon again. That's right. That's what it's all about. I'll be like Lindsay. I have it the next day.

2:38:26Senor B. Yes? What time do you get out of here? I get off at 10, and I've got to get my hair did. You're going to get another PCH? Yeah, PHC. Perfect haircut. You can't spell. Excuse me. I messed it up a little bit. All right, Papi. Well, I look forward to seeing you with a pound of bacon. I don't know about a pound, but I'll bring you a little treat. Hey, Papi. Yeah. Don't forget to bring me all the different magazines that I asked you for, too. What magazine? I want golf magazine. Golf magazine? Automobile magazine. Okay. And all the ones about the doggies. Okay. What are you going to do with those magazines? Play dog. I got it. Play dog. You have to give me the play dog. I'll give you the play dog. I love the girl dogs. I love you, puppy. I love you, too, buddy. When your dog calls us, do you think your wife is just sitting at home looking at Senior Beans? From Yale. No, because apparently. She's on Amazon. Yeah, the Yale. Well, she's probably upstairs working. She's doing real estate classes. So she's probably doing that. She probably doesn't hear them on the phone. That's right. I'd love to just watch that dog. She's the best. She's so funny. So cute. So would you like to hear what a conversation between Lauren and Woods really sounds like? Now, earlier we did hidden audio, but this is a little bit different. This is something called.

2:39:54inner monologue. This could happen at any time. You know what I mean? This could happen during any conversation with anybody. But this is a conversation between Woods and Lauren. What a conversation with Woods and Lauren may actually sound like. So Woods, have you guys started recycling yet? Or what are you guys doing at your house? We have like a bin. Like a blue bin. Here comes the judgment. Yeah, I mean that's probably the recycling bin. Have you put stuff in there? Yeah, I put stuff in there all the time. You know what you can recycle and what you can't recycle? Not really. I just kind of put stuff in there. It makes a difference though. I should give you a list of what you can actually recycle. Some of the stuff people think that they can recycle, they actually can't recycle it at all. I put like a pizza box in there and like all kinds of stuff. Yeah, all kinds of stuff. You can eat the pizza box. Okay, like a list would probably be pretty healthy. I have a couple of websites I can probably give you. There's probably a million stuff around your house that you can actually recycle. Did she just say a million stuff? Yeah, would you be interested in giving me that website? Absolutely. Oh, yeah, I would love that website, please. Sure, are you getting emails to me? Oh, I'll forget. Yeah, yeah, I just forgot all that. Yeah, absolutely. We'll just write it like on my hand. Yeah.

2:41:13And then I have it. I'll lick it off. I'll write it down on a piece of paper. Oh, okay. You put it on a piece of paper. Yeah. Okay, cool. And then I want you to go there. You're going to actually go there, right? Yeah, sure I will. Yeah, yeah. As soon as we get done here, I'll go check those out. Can't wait. For sure. Yeah. Cool. Absolutely. For sure. That's what an intermodel of a conversation between Lauren and Woods would sound like. Thanks, Woods. Basically, Lauren telling him to recycle. No. Woods saying, yeah, sure, I'll do it. Am I? Will I? By the way, I hear conversations like that between them every day. All the time. That's what he sounds like. No offense. Yeah, none taken. Yeah, none taken. Isn't there? Let's see. M1, Jay Hammy from PB is on the line. Hi, Jay Hammy. How are you guys doing? Good. Good. I got some breaking news via ESPN Sports Center. And you wanted to tell Woodsy about it. What is it? It's that Brett Favre is going to inform his team of retirement. Wow. Really? Not what I expected at all. And I still don't believe it. I don't either. I don't believe it either, but that's what he's telling everyone right now. You know, Tavares Jackson will play two games. They'll go give Brett Favre whatever he wants. Of course. You know what I mean? They're going to tell him they're going to go, it's great that you're retiring, Brett, but we're going to need you to stay in good football shape. Maybe he doesn't cry wolf. Yeah, seriously. Well, you know him, man. He says he's going to retire, and then...

2:42:38Changes his mind. Too much later. You know what happens to the boy who cries a wolf? That's right. That's right. Hey, thanks for the news, dude. No, you're welcome. Great stuff. Lauren got a ticket yesterday. What? Sure did. Jay saw me pull over on the side of the freeway. Did you, Jay? I did. On the side of the freeway? It's the worst. For doing what? Talking on my cell phone. It will get you. It will get you. I, as a guy. When I look over and I see somebody talking on their cell phone, I get so irritated. But when it's a girl, I'll admit it, it's sexist. I even get more irritated. Is that sexist? Yes. All right. It's a definition, a very definition. It's the exact definition. But when I see, and my wife, now she's like, really? You're going to throw me under the bus? She does this. She holds it. Oh, boy. She holds it with her shoulder, and she says that's hands-free. It is. She drives with both hands on the wheel and holds it with her shoulder. Sometimes I stiff arm it, and I'll rest it on my bicep on speaker, and I'm like, hands-free. That is amazing. That's brilliant. How do you do that? Maybe get a Bluetooth. They don't stick. They don't stay in my ears. I have really small ears. Exactly.

2:43:57That's what Woods is doing. That's what I do. I balance it on my bicep. My enormous bicep. You know what I do? Just hold it up to my ear. Yeah, I know. That's what I do. Okay, well, here's what happens. Usually, usually I don't. If I have to, how come you don't? Because I don't want to. God. Yeah, it's, I'm sorry. I don't like having anything in my ear. Great. It's a law. Get the one that fits over. That looks cool. It doesn't matter how it looks. I'm worried about what I look like when I'm driving my car. It's so much easier than having that death box up against your head anyway. You're probably getting a big tumor. I tried it. Death box. The cell phone is a death box. I'm sure it's causing some kind of problem. I need to get the one. I saw what Jay has. I've got to get something similar. But I can't even. I have to get special headphones because my ears are so small that they won't fit in there. No. And they fall out. Yeah. Let me see your ear. Lauren, it will. No. Lauren, it will. I'm telling you from experience. My wife said the same. Because my ears are too tiny. I have, trust me, I have freakishly small ears. Almost verbatim, my wife. Almost verbatim. Well, maybe we should do an ear measuring test. I've got a small hammer. Yeah. But, yeah, I was, like, talking on my phone, had it up to my ear. Cop pulls up right next to me. Oh, God. And I was like, oh, I'm a goner. I'm done. I'm an idiot. Yeah, he saw me. He looked at me. And then I threw it down on speaker.

2:45:22And threw it in my lap. And I'm telling my friend, I'm like, oh, my gosh, my gosh, a cop right next to me. Hold on, just hold on for a second. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, cool. He got off the exit. So then, because I had my windows open because I needed to do that. Right. So then I couldn't hear her because it was like. Right. So I take it off speaker, put it back in my hand, up to my ear. Guess who shows up like a ninja behind me? So he got off the exit, got back on. And he must have watched. He must have watched me and been like, that little bee. I gave her a chance. She got back on her phone. So he gets right behind me. He doesn't even put the siren on. He just puts his lights on. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I've never been pulled over on the freeway before. So I was like, oh, my gosh. What if it's a fake cop? Should I go to a gas station? Yeah, on a freeway in the middle of the day. Wait a second. You know what? I thought I saw you. Probably did. I bet it was you. Delmar Heights Road. Yeah! I think I did, too. I did, and I almost called her. I almost called, and I was like, that's not L&D. What if you called as the cop was giving me the ticket, and it's like, bring. Honestly, the only reason that I didn't call is I'm like, I know that's not her. I'm like, I know that's not her. I'm like, but if I call, I can't call while that's happening. And I thought, and if it was, she'll probably, like,

2:46:44write us an email and say it or something, you know? No. Yeah. So he comes to the side. I put down my driver's side window and then he came to the other side and knocked on the glass and I was like, oh my gosh. So I turned to him and I go, yep, my bad. I, nope, no excuse. No, uh-uh. What'd he say? He goes, you know why I pulled you over, right? And I go, yeah, I do. No, and I couldn't even, I was like, I'm not even going to try and be like, yeah, but, yeah, but, because I was like, I was wrong, and it's dangerous, and I got hit by somebody talking on her cell phone. Wow. You know? How much? I haven't looked yet. You haven't looked? No, I can't bring myself to do it. I think it's 90 bucks, I think. He told me, though, he was like. No, I'm saying it's ridiculously low. I got a $220 ticket for taking a ride on red. Yeah, but if you get busted one time, I think it is $90. Second time, it's like more than $200. And it's a moving violation. Yeah. So you don't want to get nabbed. But the thing was, like, at first I was like, man, I wish you just gave me a warning because I don't have anything on my record. And then I was like, but you know what, though? If I had gotten a warning, it wouldn't have stuck. This is going to stick. I'm not going to do it. Then I call 411 five minutes later. You did?

2:47:55Ballsy girl. Oh, my gosh. You got rocks. Brazenly flouting authority. Just blazenly. Yeah, brazenly, too. I forgot already. I was like, call 411. Blazenly. Blazenly. Blazenly. Blazenly. You did. I forgot. I love it. I love it. I know. I'm an idiot. Every day we leave about the same time, and Sienna's always in front of me, and she's got hers right up to her ear, and I'm right behind her. Oh, the second I get in the car. The second. They sell the kind that go on your visor. What about that? Yeah, I want one of them to try that. I think I might try that. Oh, that's pretty rad. I didn't know that. I think I might do that. I don't know how to set it up. I hate talking on the phone as it is. I'm not just saying this. I hardly ever do that because it's dangerous. We know. Yeah. We know. We know you. We know. But I'm saying I hardly ever talk and drive. We know you don't like to talk on the phone. We know that. I know. We are so painfully aware of it. But I think the cop was like, really? I tried to give you a chance to rectify what you were doing, and you got right back on the phone. And I was like, anyway, so he's gone now. This is a stupid cop. I got to say, and this is not meant to be me, it feels good that it was somebody else other than me. I feel bad because I love LLB like a sister. I feel bad that I'm taking just a tiny bit of pleasure. I have a little bit of pleasure.

2:49:20Because I think she was kind of judgmental at me about my right. No, I wasn't. Maybe a little. No, I was not. Maybe a little bit. What are you talking about? Jay. Crazy. You might have given me the, you know who that doesn't happen to? Jay was right. Anyway. Jay was talking to Woods yesterday about how Jay is readying himself in the event of an earthquake. Smart. Smart guy. He'd be earthquake ready. Maybe you'd come over to my house and do the same. Ditto. Woodsy had no idea what he was talking about. Nope. Weird. Yeah. Surprised. And so. From Texas. So we said, Jay, compile your earthquake preparedness list for us. Prepared.

2:50:21I may want to, like, write all this down. I'm going to read it to you. It's actually on my blog as well. Oh, good. Okay, good. Now, Jay, this is real? This is not, like, your made-up stuff? No, no, this is real. I actually went and looked up a bunch of different, I mean, there's a thousand different lists out there, and I kind of went and picked and choose from which ones I thought made sense. Practice drop, cover, and hold. Why is that? I thought you were supposed to get in between, get under a... A doorframe. That's what I usually do. On the first floor? First floor, right? It says that now they want you to just immediately find some kind of cover. I mean, you don't have time to necessarily get to a doorway. So if there's a table or anything, just make yourself small and get underneath it. Like in San Diego, and I'm sure all over California. Mike, did you have to do this? Earthquake drills when you were in school? Mm-mm. Because every student here has to do it. And what you did was they told you was you go right under your desk and you hold on to the two legs in front of you with your hands. That's like a bomb scare thing. See, we did earthquake drills like once a month. Wow. Yeah. Number two, teach all responsible members of the house how to turn off the gas. And if your house has gas, ask your neighbors to do the same. Oh, I would never remember. No, I will not be able to touch it.

2:51:33It's key because if there's a break in the line, all of a sudden there's gas filling every single spot around your house. That is very important. I'm going to need you to come over and show me. Yeah, Jay, can you come over and show us how to turn the gas off? Thank you. Number three, teach all responsible members of the household to turn off the electricity. So, Rebecca. Yeah. She probably already knows. For sure. Number four. Keep at least two weeks' supply of non-perishable food on hand. Gosh, I don't know that. Load up with the canned foods. In case stores aren't open, aren't accessible, or aren't adequately stocked. Most retail stores will be in a state of chaos after an earthquake. Vital supplies may be hard to obtain. Two weeks' supply of non-perishable food on hand. That's a lot of Doritos and Cheez-Its, pal. That's what we're talking, right? Well, those are perishable. Caned goods, preferably. Something you can put in a box and stack away and not touch. Number five, keep candles and flashlights on hand in case of power outages, as well as some means of generating heat like propane, firewood, and matches. Wow. Wow. I don't have any of this in my house. Man. Screwed. Doesn't this make all of us go, man, we're not ready. Not at all. Number six, water mains might be damaged and your water could be cut off. Have an emergency supply of water ready. Adults need two quarts or eight cups of water a day. Yeah. Kids need more. You'll also need water for cooking.

2:52:56Washing, flushing, and other hygienic purposes. One gallon of water per person per day is a good amount to have on hand. How the hell do you store all that water? In your garage. When you get the 2.5 liter containers that you just stack on your counter, you just put them away in your garage. I mean, I really want to do, I have a lot of this stuff already. I do not. I don't. You got to have a non-electric can opener. Yeah. Got to have a first aid kit. No. We got one of those. Nope. Got to have cash and credit cards. Nope. Woods. Woods. You got to have sturdy shoes for each family member. Yeah. Like made out of wood? No, just like iron. No, like tennis shoes. Closed toe. Boots. Okay. No? I have flip flops?

2:53:49You have to have an emergency radio. What's that? Is that one of those hand crank radios? You can have a hand crank or if you just have batteries for radio because that would probably be the kind of communication you get. TV won't necessarily work. You are good, pal. You are. Yes. He knows what time it is. You know what I'm saying? Maybe I should take that list pretty seriously. No, maybe. We all should. Maybe take the Bluetooth. Pretty seriously. I will. I'm a criminal. And if you can, hunt down a generator and some gas so you have that as well. But that's kind of elaborate. It's kind of a luxury. Yeah, but if you have it, you're stoked. Because then all the appliances you already have in your house, you can just run it to the generator. The marriage, and I'm using finger quotes, study that Sienna just told me about is going to make me insane. It's going to make me insane. And the reason it's going to make me insane is because it's an assault on marriage, in my opinion. Oh, wow. It's an assault. on marriage, in my opinion. Maybe it's just a study. Yeah, maybe a spring comes loose. Maybe a spring comes loose. Maybe a spring comes loose. We'll do it next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9.

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3:01:40appraisal and a written offer to buy it's good for seven days the smart choice is car max the way car buying should be i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 kbct san diego financial radio station now back to the mikey show with mikey i can back up like nobody's business in the spots what i can't do is parallel park lauren i just don't like the way beef tastes at all woods i don't admit very often when i'm wrong zienna i have the fastest wiener dog on the planet and jay i love that There are five people on the Mikey Show. Myself, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. There are five people on the Mikey Show. What's up, dude? Nothing. How you doing? Really? You read little tiny... Yeah, what's going on? Nothing. Got something to say? No. Say it. Nothing. Really? Woodsy, I can read little... He gets so bad, too. Same thing. Ditto. So he knows now. What did you do? I have a guess. I have a guess. What? You looked at that song and you're like, I've never heard that song before. No, I was like, it says Rolling Stones, but that's a Rolling Stones because it didn't sound, it didn't sound. It's off Sticky Fingers. You know that. I know that. Maybe you don't. Maybe I don't. Maybe you guys are in a bromance. Maybe you guys love each other. Love too much. Wow. Oh, wow. I know that song. Their theme song. Yeah. Francis and Atlas, Love in the Dark. There's only you in my life.

3:03:37Woods told me yesterday that the pretending to be gay thing doesn't work in person, in public. Yes, he tried it. It was mortifying. I thought it was hysterical. It was not hysterical. Well, Woods does this thing where he will be in the background. If I'm on the phone, he'll do a thing in the background and he'll be like, Michael, what are you doing? Come here. And yesterday, we went to Subway. Weird. And... Yeah, we, Mike and I, we decided that since L-O-B-N-J had to do stuff with engineering, you were on the phone, that we would be sweet and go get everyone sandwiches. You were. You guys are gone for an hour. Yeah. So as Woods... Vending around. Wonder what. So as Woods was ordering... I was like, Stephen, what are you going to get? Oh, my God. And she's looking at him. That's in person. It doesn't work in person. You can only do it on the phone. And he gave me this look. He gave me this look like, stop it right now. And I go, what? Oh, yeah, he did it. It's not believable. Exactly. Exactly. And he's behind me and he's like.

3:04:55I want turkey on wheat. And I'm like, oh, my God, shut up, dude. Shut up, Mike. And then she's like, well, what can I get you? And he's like, I love a chicken soup. I'm like, dude, you can't go on and on. You have great character, clown. True. You know why we're gone for an hour? You know why we're gone for an hour? Yeah, let's go tell everybody why we're gone for an hour. Because everybody likes different things. Yeah. Oh, my God. It takes forever. Mm-hmm. And it's Subway. And I want to get whatever I want to get. No. But L.O.B. says, I want Subway, but I also want a... Yeah, a little extra treat. Juice. A Jamba Juice. From Jamba. 40 miles away. 40 miles. Yeah, right. Turns out you guys are down there doing bits on each other. Woods goes like this. Woods goes, we're in Jamba Juice. Woods goes, maybe we get a cab. I did. I go, maybe we take a cab back to the station. It's 100 yards. Drama Queens. I drank wheatgrass. You did? You did? He did. At Jamba. It was hysterical. And Woods did the worst thing. I go... This is great. This is great. This is not funny. Because it almost got me sick. As soon as I put it in my mouth and I went to drink it, Woods goes... And I went... It almost really got me sick. And I was so mad. Hurt, sadness, fear. Hurt, sadness, fear. I go, don't do that when I drink that. Maybe you guys get a room. Really? Really? True story. Getting a little nuts. Guess a couple guys can't be pals and go grab sandwiches for their team. That's right.

3:06:25I guess they can't. Tell me about the new marriage study. I said that was finger quotes. Oh, yes. Study. Well, there is a new article that has been in the New York Times, and it is pointing out a trend that more and more couples are sleeping in separate rooms. In fact, it's expected that 60% of the average home will have dual master bedrooms by 2015. Great. It's called roommates. Now. The question is, is this healthy? No, it isn't. And I don't care what the study says. The study doesn't give an answer. It's just the question, and it gives pros and cons to all kinds of situations. Now, is snoring the main reason why people are doing that, or just because they want their space? Snoring is a big factor. If your husband or your wife snores, you... Live with it. They're your husband and your wife and live with it. Yeah, but what if you don't sleep? Then you go to work and you get yelled at because you yawned on the air. Yeah, you have a study earlier saying that we need seven hours of sleep a night or else it's bad for your cardiovascular. I don't know. Maybe we get earplugs. Earplugs. Some couples sleep head to toe with fans. What? Thank you. What? Head to toe? Very creative resources. That would be weird. Some couples will go to bed first if you're the non-snorer.

3:07:50That's the weirdest visual I've ever had. Had to tell wife and, yeah, that's wild. Yeah, with a fan on the person that doesn't snore. That's wacky. Wacky. It's not an assault on marriage. It is. It's about being, no, it is not. They're trying to ruin marriage. Mikey. Trying to ruin marriage. You ever blow stuff out of proportion? Listen. They're ruining marriage. This is. Shouldn't sleep in a separate room. This is about getting rest. You're married. You've never slept in a separate bed. No. That was a pause. Not on purpose. There was a pause. Not on purpose? No. What if you end up resenting that person because you can't sleep? You don't. I did. Well, they're saying here that, in fact, it's men that have a difficult time sleeping without their wives, and women actually are more likely to be fine sleeping on their own. We like our beauty rest. You should like your husband. I hate when... Todd's not near me. I don't like it when I'm not there. I don't like it particularly either, but hey, I'm going out of town this week. I'll probably sleep pretty well in a big old king bed by myself. Spread out. Snore away, man. Great, but that doesn't mean... No, I'll miss her like crazy. I'm used to cuddling real sweetly. You would not sleep in separate rooms. No, I probably wouldn't unless... You know what I would do? Tearing two...

3:09:07people apart. Bro, let's say that I went to bed and she was in bed and she was sawing logs and I knew I had to be up at 3 a.m. I may go to the guest room and be like, I've done it before, actually. I've been like, babe, I've got to get some rest. I've got a big day. And I went and crashed. I hated it, but I did it. Okay. Yeah. Maybe one night when you can't get some sleep and you need to get some sleep, you could go do that. Okay, big deal. This sounds like they're having their own rooms and blah, blah, blah. It's weird. What if you have two beds in one room like they used to do? Because my grandparents did that. I love Lucy. I love Lucy. My grandparents did it. How strange. That's pretty cool. So you were married. You were married, and you would, like, get out of one bed to love make. I guess. I mean, they had nine kids. And then you would make love, and then you'd go back to your, you know. Good night, dear. Good night, dear. Mwah. Good night. Mwah. Expect to be in Manhattan before you retire. Yeah. I'll be back over to my bed. I would hate that. It's like a tease. They're so close yet so far. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you sure that wasn't just for TV? I thought on TV they couldn't show it. I've been in my grandparents' house. Yeah, her grandparents did it. They had separate beds. Separate beds. That's brilliant. Imagine two California kings in one. They were like, I'm pretty sure they were like twins. Yeah. Twins. Twin beds. Hello, darling. Hello, dear.

3:10:2640 yards wide of beds. Would you like to make love? You're too far. Maybe it's a good thing for some people. I move so much when I sleep that the fitted sheet comes right off with me and Todd loses his mind. I do too, dude. Every single night, without fail, I start to fall asleep and the wife turns. I'm like, hey. Restless Randy, what are you doing? Hey, every night with that guy. I can't stop. I'm like, what's up, dude? What are you doing? She's like, man, I can't get comfortable. It's hot. I'm like. Let me turn a fan on. Let me turn a fan on. Wait, we're not allowed to move in bed? No, once I make that turn and it's night-night time. No movement. What? You're crazy. Oh, sorry, King. You are crazy. I don't wake up, man. I do, dude. I'm such a light sleeper. I flip around all night long. Yeah, I flip around. No, I don't wake up. I don't wake up when she's moving. Oh, boy, I do. Really? Maybe get with all the movement. Well, you have to get comfortable.

3:11:31Yeah, get comfortable. Your wife sleeps with the loudest snorer on the plane. Yeah, true. She's an angel. I'm a D. I know it. I'm just saying. I'm telling you the truth. I was getting up this morning, and this is something that the girls will not relate to, but I accidentally hit the boys. Oh. Your son? No, no, not my son's. CPS being called? No, no, no. I accidentally hit. Your pals. My pals? Yeah, righty and lefty. Righty and lefty, the boys. You do that? All the time. Three times a week. Yeah, I've got a new thing I do. What? I sit on them. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, this is recent? What? That happened? Well, it's kind of a long story, but I'll give you the reading. Literally. Since the vasectomy.

3:12:26I don't know what's going on, but the boy's like, I leave him behind in the car when I get out. I'm like, hey, are you guys going to come? Oh, boy. Wow. Your wife right now, jaw just dropped open, and she's like, are you talking about this right now? Time out, time out. I'm fascinated. Family show, family show. But this is an adult conversation, and I'm a grown-up, and I'd like to have this conversation because I'm a grown-up. And a grown-up, by the way, that's considering vasectomy. Oh, boy. I'm learning a lot right now. Mm-hmm. So you're telling me that if I get a vasectomy? I'm not telling you that it's because of the vasectomy. That's when I started to notice it. It may just be a fact of life that, you know, just like everything else, gravity affects. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Yeah, wow. I mean, isn't it like the same with women? Yeah. Things start to fall. You guys don't accidentally hit yourself. I accidentally whack them. Well, yeah, I do, but I don't think it's the same repercussions as what you guys do. My bit is, and it's almost worse than a good solid shot, is the graze. Just the graze, and you're like... It's a slow pain. The other day we were in our meeting, and I sat back in the chair, and I had my hands, and I wanted to put my crisscross my hands on my lap, and I went... Oh, wow. I didn't even notice.

3:13:52and rough talk him and run him off. You rough talk yourself. Okay, Woods. Now, you have to be real careful, I guess, but describe grazing. How does that happen? I'm walking through the house. I might be carrying something and I just whoop and just graze. He swipes across the front real quick. I swipe across the front with my hand, back of my hand. I'm an animated guy. I talk with my hands a lot. I move my hands and I'll just graze one and then I'm just... And that hurts worse than a full-on? Yeah, dude, it hurts. Because you get hit full-on, you're like, wow, that really stinks. Your day's over. But the graze is a long, drawn-out. It's long and drawn-out, and it's like a brain freeze really, really bad. I almost want to invent a new kind of remote control for how many times I've gotten a remote control. Oh, yeah. Really? Wait till your boys get a little taller. Oh, yeah. Your actual boys. Your real sons. Yeah, your real sons. I know. They punch you. Oh, I know. They get taller. I've seen, I got a friend whose kid loves to roughhouse. Oh. Rough talk. And I have seen his kid run up to him and coil back, unload, elbow back, and start to, and he will.

3:15:10Grab the wrist right before it gets there. And whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're lucky, though, that they're boys because they'll get it because they have the same thing. Like little girls. I remember Todd teaching Jenna. Like, don't go near that area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she would run and jump on his lap or something like that. He's like, oh, gosh. Oh, I know. Even now. I don't know if this happened to you guys in sixth, seventh grade, but there was a bit when I was in sixth, seventh grade. Guys used to pop the girl's bra strap. Right. I'd walk up behind you and pop it. Eighth grade. Eighth grade. They used to do the knee to the boys. Yeah. All the time. One girl got me so bad in the pool that I almost cried. Karina. Karina Bardrick. I got someone one time. I know a group of guys that tap each other. Oh, yeah. Well, it's fake tap. I do it to Mikey all the time. Yeah, and I do it back to Woods now. But it's not. It's fake. They're not fake. You guys, you do that? They really do it to Jay. I do it to Jay every morning. I get Woods, too, and I pull on Jeff. You guys are weird. Yeah, we'll slap it. You guys are weird. That is the weird one. I'll do a real one on Jay. Yeah, pop. Oh, don't ever do a real one with me. Yeah, you'll kill me. You do a real one to Woodsy? Yeah, for sure. Oh my gosh. Is this a normal thing? I don't know. One group of guys that I know. They get each other and then they're like... Oh yeah, it's the worst. The other one we do with our promotions director, Adam. I'll pull on, I'll come up behind him and I'll hit him in his butt cheek as hard as I can. It just cripples him. You guys are strange. In the words of Elaine from Seinfeld...

3:16:41I don't know how you guys walk around with us. I don't know either. Seriously? My big crush, whenever, like when I was young, Robin Cross, I went up to her and she was like, hey, she's being funny. And she went to fake knee me in the crotch and she full on kneed me in the crotch. She was a little bitty. I picked her up and I was like, no! And I just fell, covered to the ground. Karina Barger kicked me on the playground. It wasn't a playground. It was like a big grass field. Right down on the ground, crumpled. She thought I was kidding. No, it's not funny. No, it's like getting electrocuted. I think every girl gets a guy, and then you really hurt him one time, and then it's like, we really realize, like, oh, wow. Oh, that really hurts. Because I got one guy good one time, and I was like, never again. Did you hit him with your boobs? No, I did the knee, you know? He was being a D. I've never done the knee. I thought he was going to kill me. Like, rage went over. Let me ask. When we were in eighth grade and we did the bra strap bit, was it annoying or did it really, like, bother and hurt your feelings? It depended if we liked you or not. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. A rubber band on your back. A metal snap on your back? Yeah. I don't remember it really hurting. With Sienna, you could cause an earthquake. Duh. Whoa. I did it, though. Oh, every day. I'm like, gosh. I think every eighth grade kid did that. Yeah. And then I had a new bit of trying to take it off really quickly.

3:18:02While they're walking. Yeah, that one happens. I can get off two seconds with my left hand. Two seconds. You did that as a kid? You did it in eighth grade. Two seconds. Test, go. Wait, no, I don't know. Literally in two seconds with my left hand just pop. With your left? Uh-huh. Which is even more talented because... You're not left-handed. Do guys sit home? Do you guys buy a bra for practice? You use your mom's? You use your mom's? It wasn't my mom's. It was a friend's mom's. It wasn't me. Tell the truth. Never mind. But it was your mom's. My buddy's mom's. My sister's. Put it on a pillow. 100%. Are you serious? Oh, you got to get that down. You got to get it down. How embarrassing would it be for a guy who can't do it, though? Can't do it. You know, it's like, oh. You've never done it before. I never practiced it. Bring one in tomorrow. We'll put it on Mikey. I'll get it off in two seconds. We'll put it on Mikey. We'll put it on Jay. It doesn't matter. Finally a dream of his coming true right there. Shut it. Maybe there's guys in their late 20s that still don't know how to do it. Oh, my gosh. Maybe. Oh, wow. Maybe they practice.

3:19:17Maybe they never got the memo. Once a bra shuts you down one time, you're like, okay, that's never going to happen again. Because it's, you know, you have to figure it out. It's nothing a guy's ever seen. Wow. Did I do the Steven Tyler thing? I didn't even do it, right? Oh, I got to do that. Steven Tyler. Boys and bras. Hey, folks, this is Bad Blake. This is a new song I have called... Boys and brawls. Boys and brawls. That's a great song. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pants. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up.

3:20:25You don't want to miss your chance to hit the surf and have sand stuck in your butt all day. That's how we say hello. At the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. The party at the beach is coming August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Miller Lite and Sion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Rogue Wave. The Wigs. And the Delta Spirit. On the 94.9 stage. The silent comedy, the nervous records of burning of Rome and white apple tree. Get your tickets for 30 bucks today. No service fees or extra charges. Get them online at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. Eight fans at the beach. Get tickets and join the party. August 29th in Oceanside. The FM949 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos. Okay, you know Kelly from Block Party? You can see them live Sunday, September 19th at 4th and B. Kelly at 4th and B Sunday. Sunday, September 19th. Here's some songs from his new solo album, The Boxer. Tickets are on sale this Friday at the 4th & B box office. Ticketmaster.com or 800-745-3000. Produced by AEG Live, 21 and up. Fridays, the official kickoff to the weekend and the coolest concert series around. 4 o'clock Fridays, presented by Jack Daniels at the Del Mar Racetrack, are back.

3:21:51With free concerts all season long. This Friday, shake it up with a pulsating groove of the B-52s. The B-52s, live at the Del Mar Racetrack. This Friday, August 6th. Free with racetrack admission or $20 after the last race. Del Mar, cool as ever. Whoa, check it out. It's the ultimate turkey and bacon avocado sub. New at Subway. Way cool. Get ready for the tastiest ride of your life. Wipe out in wave after wave of totally tender turkey and crisp, gnarly bacon. Long, lean, and sizzling hot. Whoa! Gaze upon the red rainbow of voluminous veggies and frothy mounds of cool sea green avocado. This pipeline of flavorosity lies on a golden strand of the freshly baked bread. Mondo delicious, man. Are you up for the ultimate?

3:22:47Then you have got to try the totally new Subway Ultimate Turkey and Bacon Avocado Sub. The ultimate taste. The ultimate flavor. The ultimate everything. Carve one up today. Crank up the flavor. Subway. Eat fresh. For a limited time at participating restaurants. Brides and grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the San Diego Convention Center Sunday, August 8th. It's the Bridal Bazaar. I love it. There's so many choices and I love to have lots of choices. I mean, I kind of have an idea of what I want, but there's so many choices here. It's really awesome. I like what I'm seeing here. There's a lot of variety and kind of where I'm getting a lot of ideas. It's so much easier to have everything in one spot and to be able to see what you actually like. At the Bridal Bazaar, you'll find everything you need to plan the wedding of your dreams all in one place, all on one day. So many vendors to choose from, from everything from flowers to invitations. Cakes, definitely. I'm full from all the tastings. The dresses were gorgeous. Chocolate fountains and everything that you could possibly imagine. It's kind of a collaboration of ideas that's coming together. It's got to be a perfect day. Plus, you can register to win a pair of diamond earrings from John Franklin Jewelers. The Bridal Bazaar. Sunday, August 8th at the San Diego Convention Center. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Definitely go to the Bridal Bazaar because it's awesome.

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3:25:24That's strange. Or just as quickly, I can do a little social networking. Lisa is craving a slice of pizza. Lisa got these cool glasses on sale. Lisa is drinking her third cup of coffee. Lisa is getting her... Hey, can you guys keep it down? Rude. You're the one with all the browser windows open, mister. Yeah. My fault. You think? Totally. Switch from cable to high-speed internet from AT&T and get $100 back via promotion card with qualifying services. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash HSI. Internet service requires DSL modem router and qualifying local service. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges may apply. Online redemption required. Other restrictions apply. Offerings 11610. We've just made an escape to Vegas easier than ever with a tool that helps you find the latest deals on Las Vegas hotels any day you choose. Just log on to visitlasvegas.com, enter your dates, and check out great available rates throughout the city. You can filter by locations and amenities and then find the best rates on hundreds of Las Vegas properties. It's the easiest and fastest way to plan your next trip to the entertainment capital of the world. You can only find it at visitlasvegas.com.

3:26:28Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. When a dog sticks his head out the car window, it's an expression of freedom and sheer joy. At Navy Federal, we want you to have that same exuberance when buying a car. So we created the Power Auto Loan to give our members amazingly low rates, affordable payments, and easy, fast approvals. Talk about man's best friend. Navy Federal. We serve where you serve. Right now, Navy Federal is offering rates as low as 1.99% APR on new cars. To find out what you can save, visit NavyFederal.org or call 24-7. Rates based on credit worthiness, so your rate may differ. Fly to Maui for just $159 one way for travel between October 1st and November 10th. Seeds limited and other restrictions apply. Hurry, purchase online by August 15th. Visit AlaskaAir.com for details. Taxes and fees not included in fare. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like rain. I like sunshine. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. Sienna. That was a really good student. And Jay. I'm a romantic, so sue me. On FM 94.9. Popped up on coffee. Independence Jam 2010. It's going to be happening at Oceanside Pier. August 29th, 30 bucks. Great price. And you can get your tickets for it.

3:28:17Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Also the name of my fantasy team, Steve Woods and the Magnetic Zeros. That's his fantasy team. How about you? Have you picked yet? My name? Yeah. No. I haven't been to this day yet. Weird. You haven't even thought about having a team now? Everybody signed up but L.O.B. No, really? Yeah, 100. She'll be fine. Watch her beat you. He's scheming already. He's got reams of paper and stuff already. Like research, haven't you? Is LB going to take it seriously? Yes. Who cares? If she doesn't, that's money in our pocket. I know, but what if she takes good players and then she just doesn't care? I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'll tell you right now what's going to happen. I'm going to talk smack for the weeks leading up to it. Then I'm going to get really serious and pick good players. I'm going to be into it for three weeks. And then I'm going to forget. And then I'm going to be like, it's not even worth it now because I forgot last week. I'm going to have to text her every Saturday. And be like, set your team. No. They start NFL games on Thursdays now. Wednesday, I'm going to be like, LAB, set your team for the week. Meanwhile, she'll have Drew Brees and she'll have all these great players that are just getting wasted away. I'm going for Gates. He was on my fantasy team when I won a couple years ago. So I'm going to put him back on there. And she's literally going for Gates. It's going to make me crazy. What? She's not going to get into it.

3:29:47It's going to make me crazy. I know. You guys. Everybody has that one person in their fantasy football league that forgets to set their picks. It's the worst. That'll be me. That'll be me. And like Wood said, money in your pocket. You got to think of a team name. I'm the guy. And you're the guy. Like, I said it, and I'm like, I feel good with my decision, and I move on. You're going to be the guy. Like, oh, man, why did I start? Why did I start Kevin Cobb, dude? Why did I? Why did I? I'm going to get like a million messages from you to trade and be like, leave me alone. I have my team. I don't trade. Yeah, right. I don't really either. But what I do is I add and I drop. I add drop like a madman. I hate that. I really hate that. I'm an add dropper. Yeah. Add drop. It gets me all nervous and then I start dropping people. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm like, I got to drop. He dropped. Same way. Yeah, love it. We'll just see who can get up earlier. Yesterday, how did you like the idea? Because I said, you know, during the time that we do our fantasy football draft, I'll probably be out on surgery. And Woods goes, hey, L.O.B., maybe we go over to Mike's house. We do the draft over there. And L.O.B. looked at you, just stared at you. And I go, no, okay. Silence. What? She just stared at you. She goes, but we're going to get pizza here. We'll get pizza at Mike's. We don't want to leave our boy there.

3:31:13We were going to have pizza. We were. That's fantastic. We'll just conference call. All right. I got to play you this. Got to play you this clip. This is Steven Tyler. He says that he's going to go on American Idol. But do you take him seriously? He says he's going to be one of the new judges. It's been a rumor that Steven Tyler is going to be a new judge. So he says and confirms it. Tell me if you think he's messing with us. So after the tour, you're hitting the studio, new album, any future project? New album, and probably going to be a judge on American Idol. I'm doing it. What do you think? I'm doing it. I think you're good for it. Yeah. Done. Is he screwing around? No. No, I think he's serious. He's in. And I just burned my copy of Toys in the Attic. I think he's messing around. He's not. I think he's heard the rumor, and he's like, yeah, I'm going with it. What do you think? I think he's trying to... you know, make people question it, but I think he's going to do it. I think, yeah, he's trying to get engaged on how much grief he's going to get. Like, I'm doing it. Yeah, I'm going to do it. Write it down. Put it in the paper. He's going to get grief. Yeah, from him. And a lot of people. I don't. And then he's going to be doing a halftime show at the Super Bowl next year, so. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with doing a halftime show. He's got to have a comeback, right? Halftime show at Super Bowl. You two did that. The Who did that. Come on. Tom Petty did it. Clown.

3:32:37Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, maybe we get somebody from this decade. Why? Relevant. Like who? T.I.? No, let me think. Okay, hang on. They can't do live shows. That's a good question. That's a good question, because Woodsy's like... Pearl Jam, I'm in. In. Yeah, you know what? That'd be rad. Hey, it's 1995. You gotta paint with a broad... Are you kidding me? You gotta paint with a broad stroke. Holy crap. Are you kidding me right now? That's the who you're talking about. I... I know the who's cool. I mean... Do I, Mike? Don't you? Do you really, Mike? Do you really? Freaking Pete Townsend, really? The Who is kind of random. No, it's not. I get it. I get it. It's kind of random. They are like founders of rock and roll. I know. The Who is going to make majority of the people watching the Super Bowl happy. Right. If you get like some random T.I. or something. No, I'm not. My dad's going to be like, who the heck is T.I. or Katy Perry? What if you did a few? What if you did a few? Mike. What if you did? Like Black Eyed Peas. Black Eyed Peas? We did a few. We did a few. Come on. Yeah, Black Eyed Peas, like they performed before the Super Bowl. Are Black Eyed Peas bad? Yes. Horrible. They're not bad? Yes. No, they're not. Not for 17-year-old girls or not, but for a grown 40-year-old man. No, dude. Peas aren't. Peas aren't. Did you just say the peas? Yeah, they're not for just 17-year-old girls. They were cool until Fergie came and ruined them. We're going to look back and they're going to go. Now they're the worst.

3:34:03Yeah, we're going to look back in two years and go. What are you going to do with all that junk inside? I don't know, man. Listen. Good gosh. I guess I just go, the who? The who, dude? I think they just turned like 85. I hear you. They're older. That was slightly random. I liked it. Like when Bruce Springsteen did it. Oh, wow. No. Really? That's not what they sounded like. Guys, come on now. Oh, my God. Pearl Jam would be cool. Pearl Jam would be cool. Yeah. I think it should be somebody that's like has a new album or has some sort of relevance. Relevant. Or the touring. It doesn't matter who I name. If they're relevant, you're going to be like, you're going to put your nose up. You're going to be like, that's a plebeian name. Name one. I mean, come on. Name one. Name one. Name one. Name one. Name one. Name one. All right. Will you give me?

3:35:02One second before you criticize. Okay, how about Dave Matthews? In. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Mikey. How about Lady Gaga? Absolutely not. No way. It's the Super Bowl. She's inappropriate. She's an idiot. So you picked Lady Gaga over The Who. No, no, no, no, no. I don't like Lady Gaga. I don't like Lady Gaga. I'm just trying to think of, like, relevancy. I know. It's not easy. One of the people that's back now, Eminem. 100%. He can't. I don't know. He's too dirty. But I'd love to see him and Jay-Z up there all the way in. It doesn't have to be pop. It can be rock. I'm just saying. What rock band? It doesn't matter who I say. It doesn't matter who I say. You want Hinder up there? Yes. Evanescence, maybe? Hootie and the Blowfish. You look at me. I don't know what to say. Oh, gosh. How about this? M1 Jeffrey from Rancho Santa Fe. Who do you think? What about Green Day? Yeah, it'd be okay. I'm not a huge fan. I'm not a huge fan. I'm not either, but I think it's more relevant. Yeah, they're relevant. I agree. At least they got albums out. Yep. I'd watch that. Down with that.

3:36:22I think the people, the networks probably break down the demographics of who's traditionally tuned in. Foo Fighters. Yeah, I mean, but if L.O.B., what she's saying is right, you know, you're going to have a lot of 50-year-old men, 55-year-old men going to Foo what? They'd be in on it. And that's why they did the Who, by the way. They did it because they're appealing to advertisers who are 55 years old and they're buying expensive Cadillacs. They can sell advertising time to expensive Cadillac. You know? I'm watching it. Hey, I'd love to see a good rock band up on stage at the Super Bowl. What about Bruce Springsteen? He was up there. Oh, stop. I was out on there. What about Bon Jovi? 100. In. Journey? I mean, these are all... Oh, boy. Come on.

3:37:27All right, what are the new releases? Let's hear some relevant music. Wait, we got suggestions. Got a bunch of suggestions. M1 Jordan from Lemon Grove. Who do you think? What about Kings of Leon? What if there was pigeons at the Super Bowl? Yeah, you'd be totally good. They could be flying. They could probably give them an awning or a tarp or something. Make a suitable venue for them. Kings of Leon is a bad choice. The reason? It's because of the 55-year-old guy. They know. Trust me. I went to the show. Mikey. Mikey. My dad does not know. Your dad knows Kings of Leon. My dad knows him. Your dad knows you, somebody. I guarantee you. I was at the concert. Woods is now. I was at the concert. Woods is now. I was at the concert. W-O-N. Woods is now. Trying to convince the world that Kings of Leon... Did you go to the show? Almost a 50-year-old guy. Did you go to the show? I was there. There's 50-year-old dudes everywhere. You saw five 50-year-old dudes? No, there was a bunch. Everybody knows you somebody. Jay, you know the Kings? I don't like them. But do you know them? I'm just saying. You know them? You ever heard of them? Who? He works for a radio station. It doesn't count. You're arguing, have you heard of them now? My dad's heard of Lady Gaga. They'd be a great Super Bowl edition. It doesn't mean they're going to like it. Emma and Condi from Spring Valley. Great point. Go ahead.

3:38:47Hey, you ain't going to see nobody current on the Super Bowl because of what happened in 2005 with the Janet Jackson thing. Janet Jackson. When they let your hip-hop in there, look what happened. Oh, wow. Boob's flying around. I know. Wardrobe malfunctions. Yo, girl, your wardrobe malfunctions. Ruined everything. Maybe this guy. This is a really good song. Woods actually told me about this. I'd never heard this before. Robert Plant. This is a really great song. Amazing. You know the car most likely to be stolen? How about the cars most likely to be stolen? Is yours one of them? I pour myself a brand new star. To be the beauty within. Mikey Joe on FM 94.9. Rolling Stone says My Morning Jacket is fast becoming one of the premier live bands on the planet. This is a very special evening with My Morning Jacket and special guest Avi Buffalo. August 11th at SDSU Open Air Theater.

3:40:11Get tickets now at LiveNation.com, Ticketmaster, or call 800-745-3000. If you are a Time Warner Cable customer, here are some facts you need to know. ESPN's current agreements with Time Warner Cable will expire on September 2nd. And they may stop carrying your favorite ESPN networks. You don't need to be put in the middle. So, we are working hard to reach an agreement. In the meantime, know that you do have choices. There are other providers available to you. For more information... Call 877-5-I-HAVE-CHOICES or go to IHAVECHOICES.COM. All year long, your car or truck faces sun, salt, road grime, and who knows what else. Everyone can see what that does to the finish. At Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts, you'll find a tremendous selection of washes, waxes, cleaners, wipes, towels, and shammies. Today's products can protect the finish and bring the shine back to one of your favorite investments. Get the best brands at low prices with great advice from people you know at Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts.

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3:45:271-800-652-0339. Call J.K. Harris now. 1-800-652-0339. That's 1-800-652-0339. KDZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick. Lauren. My handbag is made out of recycled kimonos, okay? Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. Zienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jay. Yeah, back rubs are kind of a specialty of mine. On FM 94.9. My brother pulled this up on iTunes, and I couldn't even believe it. Just like Steve Perry. I found this other video on YouTube of Don't Stop Believin', and I go, Holy cow. This dude sounds just like Steve Perry and looks just like Steve Perry. And my brother goes, that's Steve Perry. All right. Never mind. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, X. And the album is more fun in the new world. Cars most likely to be stolen, Sienna. What do we got? What do you think? The Escalade. Escalade.

3:47:20Woods is looking at the list again. Woods? If you don't like it, put up a partition, all right? And he just guessed the number one. He can't control himself. He can't. Ah, the Chevy Tahoe's number 10 on the list, the GMC Yukon, Hummer, Nissan Maxima, GMC Sierra Crew Cab, Infiniti, G47 Coupe, Chevy Avalanche, Dodge Charger, Chevy Silverado, and the number one, the Cadillac Escalade. I knew it. I wonder why. Yeah, really. Because you looked at the paper. Oh, my gosh. Each year, 10.8 out of every 1,000 late-model Escalades gets stolen, broken into, or has parts ripped off. Really? Yeah. That's the highest rate of theft claims on any vehicle in America. And Escalade's been on top of the list since 2002. Maybe they find a different car. Absolutely. They really like that one. And when Joey from San Diego, who should play at the Super Bowl? Definitely Devo. I would be on board with that. Just had an album come out, and it definitely would appeal to the 55 and older crowd. Whip it real good. Whip it real good. And then after that, they play Whip It again. It doesn't matter who's playing. Someone's always going to have a problem with it. There's no right or wrong answer. How about ACDC? In. Out. In. How about Muse? Out.

3:48:46I'd love to see Muse there. I still think even if ACDC got up there, it would be like, you know, they're just too old now. Aren't they? As much as I love Van Halen, aren't they too old now? No. No? They're not? Classic rock. They have whole radio stations built around classic rock. No, I know, but that's because they're playing the records that were originally recorded. These dudes aren't having to get up there. They're like, oh, you know. Hey, this one's called Jamie's Crying. Jamie's Crying. Dude, it don't sound the same as the record. Back in the day. It sounds kind of different, man. Somebody has to pull him over and be that guy. Like, hey, man. Gosh darn it, Dave. I love you, bro. I love you. It's not going to work out. What do you mean? You suck. Panama. It's a night away. Pretty woman. Walking down. Oh, no. Oxygen. Walking down the street. Amazing. M1. Tony from PB. Hey, Tony. Sorry. I was thinking maybe a band like U2. You know, they're.

3:50:17They're big, they're relevant, worldwide, stuff like that. They did it. Not the biggest fan, but I would definitely watch that. I think so, too. Derek Connick and everybody knows him. They should play every year as far as I'm concerned. New releases, Sienna. What do we got today? Albums out today, Arcade Fire, The Suburbs. That sounds cool. That's not bad, yeah. I didn't like their first record, but I like this one sounds a lot better. That sounds cool to me. I didn't like their first record. I didn't buy into the hype, pal. I didn't either. I really bought into it. Lady Gaga, the remix. Mikey. Really? I don't like Lady Gaga. You do? No. Why is she singing about boob jobs? How come you just mouthed, I do? No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. No, but you did, though. No, I didn't. This is creepy dancing right now. I might have cranked poker face a couple times in my car. It's not that big a deal. Write that down.

3:51:36Los Lobos, Tin Can Trust. Mikey. That's what it sounds like in my head all the time. I like the Los Lobos. A lot of people do. Oh, yeah. What does he say? Mikey, what's he saying? I want to go to the bathroom. I'll get the number one. And can I get, do you guys have just regular pinto beans instead of just the refried beans? No. Horchata. What else? Buck Cherry, All Night Long. Dirtiest man ever. Yeah. Filthy. I think he's talking, I'll tell you, I think he's talking about midterms. Long road trip, maybe. Talking about a long road trip or midterms. I almost just swallowed my tongue. And he's saying that they're going all night long because they have to drive all night. You know what it is? It's a song written about his cousin who's a truck driver. That's right. He has to go all night long. Okay. Oh, my gosh. The Black Crows is out. Crowology, it's the greatest hits album. Nice.

3:53:14Black Crows, by the way. Black Crows are the number one offender when it comes to changing the record live. Say what? They're worse than the Grateful Dead. Did they do that? They would just jam for hours. Just do trucking, dude. The reason I like you is because I heard trucking. I bought the album and I was like, oh my gosh, I love this album. You represent a very small part of their... I'm with you, pal. I'm right there with you. I can't wait. I can't wait to see these guys live. Black girls come inside. She never mentions the word addiction. Gorgeous. They're like, I wonder what song that is. They jammed for three hours when I saw them. They played three songs. It was awful. Sign me up.

3:54:14In certain company, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was brutal, man. Wow, that sort of sounds like she talks to angels, but I can't tell because it's a completely different melody than the one that I fell in love with. Absolutely. Don't try to be Otis Redding, pal. Dr. John and the Lower 911 is out. The album's tribal. It's a bonus track. L.A.B., you in on that? Not really. No? I'm probably going to pronounce this next one wrong. Le Savi Favre? No, that's good. Root for Ruin? Le Savi Favre. I have no idea, but however you just said it, it sounded kind of cool to me. Lynn. Do you remember in Pulp Fiction? Yes. The scene where Jules and John Travolta's character show up and look at the big brain on Brad? Yes. Brad was the guy that was on the couch. His name was Brett, but they called him Brad. As I was listening to this, I pictured Brett playing the guitar. Yeah, absolutely. Right? Government Mule, Millennium, it's a live album. I don't either, but that sounds pretty good. I know the name. The Wailer's Legacy.

3:56:26Is the Wailers Bob Marley's band? Yeah, I think it's like a whole group. It's like a compilation of albums. They still perform? Uh-huh. That's cool. There it is. Autolux Transit System. I like that instantly. Why? Because I can hear it in a movie. Anything that sounds like a movie soundtrack to me, I'm in. I'm all the way in. And out on DV today, Kick-Ass, A Prophet, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Ghost Rider, Afterlife, and Happiness Runs. I don't know that I knew... One of those movies. The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. That must have gone, like, not in theaters very long. Yeah, no. That's a big kid movie. That's, like, the number one selling book for kids. Really? Mm-hmm. It's, like, an edition of books. Hillary's in. Hi, Hill. Hi, guys. How you doing? Good. How are you? Okay, I'm going to ask you this question because we were asking this question earlier. Bird. Wait, clown. No. Different question. So they're going to outlaw. This is a hypothetical.

3:57:47Oh, okay. They're going to outlaw every snack on the planet. But you get to pick one that they're going to keep. Oh, my God. You got to pick one snack. You guys know how much I love food. This is what Woodsy picked. No. I've never had this in my life. Are you kidding? Have you ever had one? They were good. Seriously, are you my grandmother? Have you ever had one? Have you ever had one? No. You know what? You're right. You've got to try it. They're pretty good. They're pretty good. Retirement home. The Pepperidge Farm. But they're pretty good. Chessman cookies. Like a shortbread cookie. Feast on that. What would you pick? They're really good, though. They're good, but the ultimate snack. That's my number one. I said Dorito original. What did you just kiss the back? I said Lay's original. Oh, my God. That is so hard. I'd say Oreos. You pick Oreos? Yeah. Double stuff? Oh, yeah, you know that. I love the double stuff. Have you had the devil food cookies? That's repugnant. Devil food cookies. I don't like devil's food. I'm eating a cookie. What are you going to do? That is so hard. I know. I like maybe like a pub mix. You have a little variety. Like a Chex mix? Something salty probably for sure. Yeah, I think salty over sweet. I'm going sweet. I would get sick of the sweet. Because you could always have dessert. They're not ruling out dessert. Right.

3:59:00Hell, what do you got coming up? Or mangoes. Does that count? Or mangoes. Oh, my God. A ripe mango? Seriously. Oh, I'm with you on that one. Wow. Scrape it off the skin. Wow. Love. Okay. I would not have picked mangoes. I like mangoes, but, like, if that's it. No, I love. Love me a ripe mango. If I'm going ripe mango or Doritos, those mangoes are going right out the window. Really? I'd be torn. Oh, yeah. I grabbed Death Cab for Cutie. I have a leftover Fugazi request from yesterday and New Interpol, some Jimmy Eat World, Sneaker Pimps, Vampire Weekend, and a song to start with that is a good one. You'll find out what it is in a minute. All right, we got to go. Tomorrow morning, we'll come back at 6 a.m., do it all over again. The Mikey Show is out. Late. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. Mikey in the morning about the music all day and night.