The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/10/11
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
london riotshulk hogan interviewnfl ped testingdunkin donuts prostitution stingjeremy finger injuryal sharpton teleprompterbarney frank fart allegationthat's a true statement gamehulk hogandunkin donuts stingjeremy fingeral sharpton
The show opened with a lively debate about the London riots, where Mikey argued that teens were reacting to perceived police brutality while Woods and Jay offered differing views on youth unrest. Later, the crew interviewed Hulk Hogan via satellite, who jokingly suggested using his Hulkamania persona to quell the violence in London. The sports segment highlighted the NFL’s new game‑day performance‑enhancing drug testing policy, sparking a discussion about its intrusiveness and effectiveness. Other memorable moments included Jay’s graphic story of slicing off the tip of his finger while preparing lunch, Al Sharpton’s notorious teleprompter meltdown, and the recurring “That’s a True Statement” game where the hosts guessed who made outrageous claims.
What happened, in order
London Riots Discussion
Mikey, Woods, and Jay debate the London riots triggered by the police shooting of Mark Dugan, discussing police brutality, youth anger, and David Cameron’s response.
Hulk Hogan on London Riots
Hulk Hogan appears via satellite to comment on the riots, jokingly suggesting his Hulkamania persona could restore order in London.
NFL Game-Day PED Testing
The crew discusses the NFL’s new random game‑day performance‑enhancing drug tests, how they work, and whether they are too intrusive.
Barney Frank Fart Allegation
The show plays audio and debates whether former Representative Barney Frank audibly farted during a live TV interview.
Al Sharpton Teleprompter Meltdown
The hosts react to Al Sharpton’s highly publicized teleprompter failure while delivering a speech, calling it a monumental breakdown.
Dunkin' Donuts Prostitution Sting
An undercover cop operation called "Extra Sugar" leads to the arrest of Melissa Redmond for arranging sexual encounters with customers at a Dunkin’ Donuts.
Jeremy's Finger Injury
Jeremy Pritchard recounts slicing off the tip of his finger while preparing lunch, passing out from the pain, and receiving stitches through the nail.
That's a True Statement Game
Mikey pulls outrageous statements from a jar and the panel guesses which host said each one, sparking lively debate and laughter.
People mentioned
mikeywoodsjayl.o.b.jeremy pritchardamandaal sharptonbarney frankhulk hoganmark duggandavid cameronmelissa redmond
37,265 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's the Mikey Show, and business is open. Come on in and have a seat. Do that by calling 570-1949 or texting us, 949mikey at gmail.com, and you can call about anything you want to. When we begin the show, it's an open forum, which means you can call about anything. You can call about what was on TV last night. You can ask us questions. You can respond to our Facebook page. You can do anything you want to. By the way, if you're looking for us on Twitter, you can find us, MikeyShow.com. Followed by our name, Mikey Show Mikey, Mikey Show Woods, Mikey Show Lauren, Mikey Show Jay. And you can also find us on Facebook, facebook.com slash Mikey Show. And it's M-I-K-E-Y. I have to be clear about that because a lot of people will spell Mikey, Mickey. And Mickey's a mouse. And so we got to make sure that we let people know that there's a difference. Thank you. Mickey is a mouse. Mikey is a Mexican. That's right.
Mikey's a Mexican. Latino. I'm sorry. Let's see. I'm Mikey. I'm your Latino host. Yes. I'm 41 years of age. Have black and gray tattoos. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36 years of age. Loves the V-neck. And he rocks a V-neck just about daily. Yeah. And is now an uncle. Yay. It's official. That's right. It's official. We've got to welcome little Oliver Ryan Woods, 8 pounds, 10 ounces, and a full head of black hair. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. It's a beautiful baby, man. Gorgeous. Woodsy sent us a text with a picture of Oliver, and he's so cute already, man. Yep. So good looking. He's long, dude. Of course. He's going to be like your brother in tall, you know? Tall, handsome, just dark hair, great baseball player. Your brother's a good-looking guy. Tess is a good-looking girl. She's going to be tall and good-looking. Yep. So look out, ladies, in 15 years there in Texas. Maybe less. Yeah, probably less. Piece of woods, after all. That's right. My brother just said, my brother was just reading me some, my brother and I debate.
You love to debate your brother. No, Mark loves to debate me. I just want to talk. You just want to visit. I just want to visit. But he will debate me and he will find a way to debate me. He always wants to debate me. How does he, I've always wanted to ask you this. It's so funny. How does he engage? Yeah, so like if he's got something that's in his head, is he like, okay, here's what we're going to talk about today. No, no, no. I'll tell you how he does it. And I almost just want to tell him, hey, you know, whatever your argument is today, should we just start? Because we always do this thing where we engage in small talk. Then there's a pregnant pause and you say, oh, hey, by the way. Oh, hey, by the way, comma. That's the lead in. That's the lead in. Every time. Oh, hey, by the way. Oh, boy. Did you get the email that I sent you on those stats from the CDC? Yeah, I got them. I got them. What did you think, Mike?
I thought that they were interesting because I disagree with the stats. Well, now that's interesting because now he's not being sarcastic, by the way. Right. This is one thing that's interesting about Mark. Mark is never sarcastic. He is mechanical in his delivery. Right. In fact, I tell people that so much of who I am came from my brother, Mark. Even on the air as a storyteller, I'm a brother, Mark, and learned it from my brother, Mark, my oldest brother, whose birth date I have tattooed on my arm. He is one of the most influential people in my life. But in his delivery, he doesn't he's not an emotional guy. So he doesn't really when we are having a conversation or argument, he he is the original guy that separates emotion from fact. For instance. Justin Bieber movie. He would be the guy that would say, I really don't care what thoughts are on Justin Bieber. All I want to talk about is the fact of, well, is it interesting? He's that guy. You're that guy. Yes. Sometimes. My mind works completely philosophically. I am extraordinarily interested in philosophy. Extraordinarily interested in philosophy.
and separate emotion from fact sometimes give me an example of well you can get emotional about things there are things that you're passionate about and can be emotional about i am emotional about everything i am not philosophical on anything true nothing true if i am emotional about something and we start to debate it that i will then go into the mechanical right You're a good debater. And I will talk to you about it completely mechanically without emotion. I don't want to. I want to take emotion out of it. And I just want to talk. I may be passionate in my delivery and I may my voice may rise and I may use my hands. But in the things that I will say, it's mechanical and very calculated. Yes. Calculated. Some might call you the master debater. Yeah, I do. Wow, I think that there was a dirty joke in there somewhere, but Woods just got a smile that indicated that it was. No, not at all. Dead. And boom goes the dynamite. I mean, that was for sure. Put it on a tee. Yeah, but I made the mistake while I was in Tucson of saying to my brother that I thought that teens are more sexually active today than they were in the past.
And my brother is resistant to the fact that culture is getting worse. He's very resistant to that. In fact, he says that culture has not changed. That the only thing that has changed is the date on the calendar. But that we are always the same. For instance, people back in the day said Elvis was dirty. And that the Beatles were dirty and that they were going to be the end of society. Just like today, they say Gaga. In the 80s, it was Madonna. He says, culturally, we're really the same. We just have new things that come along. And I say, no, no, Mark. You see, the bar is being raised constantly. And we debate this. And one mistake that I made was saying to Mark that girls today are more. sexually active than they were back in the day in the 80s, for instance. And Mark says, no. He says, what do you have to show me? What data do you have to back that up? And I said, well, I don't have data. I said, but what I do have is a personal experience talking with parents, talking with kids, talking with a lot of different people about it.
And so Mark went online and he looked up some things on the CDC and said that I'm wrong. I agree with you. I think that's a great debate. I think that you're 100% right. And I think this little guy that I'm holding in my hand, this cell phone is the end of civilization. That's what's helped get those kids into that bit. Get kids into what bit? The more sexually active bit. And I agree with you 100%. And Jay disagrees. Disagrees. Nope. Girls are much less. They're the same. It hasn't changed. Just talk about it. Well, that's incorrect, according to my brother. According to my brother, they're less sexually active today than they used to be. Wow. There is a lot of studies that back that up because they're scared. They're scared of the... Does Jay just go along with everything that I say? If you're... in on it, he's out against it. Well, no, they say that the kids are having less sex because they're scared of all the... But you just said they're having the same. I think it's the same, but I mean, there are studies, I don't agree with them, but... They.com. I think it's the same. They.com. I think it's the same. I think it's the same. You think it's the same? Yeah. I think it's more. It's just talked about more. According to the CDC, it's less. Wow. Yeah, according to the CDC, it is less. Yeah, I'm sure it's peaks and valleys, ups and downs. Ebbs and flows.
I said, now, how do they know that it's less, Mark? How does the CDC know that it's less? And he said, well, they did a study. And I said, okay. I said, and how did they do the study? He said, well, they talked to a lot of teens. I said, okay, but you realize that it's subject to the truth. And he said, so are you telling me that you don't believe the data because it doesn't agree with your opinion? These are interesting conversations, by the way. Oh, dude, that's fascinating to me. Me and my brother, we have a go. Every morning, right? Every morning I call him on the way to work. And do you guys have a go every day? Not every day. But we'll, most often we disagree philosophically. I mean, he's an Obama guy, actually campaigned for Obama. Yep. And, you know, he will, but, I mean, this is...
Out of the three of my brothers, I get along with Mark the best and spend the most time with him and love him just tremendously. Ella B. is our assistant producer. She is 30 years of age, wearing glasses because on Friday, she's going to go talk to Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. She's a candidate for LASIK eye surgery. Yes, hopefully get my eyes did. That's right. It'd be so great. You'll be so happy. That's right. Stupid glasses and contacts. You don't think that glasses can make you look studious? I really don't care how they make me look. They're a pain. In fact, even wearing headphones and glasses at the same time, it hurts. It hurts. And you can't exercise with glasses on unless you get the cream Abdul-Jabbar goggles, which I'm not going to do. Which I have. Jay is our producer. He is 48 now. And don't look 48. Thank goodness. Don't act 48. Does not. Does not at all. Made a joke yesterday after the show. He got himself good. Still getting himself. Made me cry. He made a joke that made him cry. I've never heard him laugh like that. Ever.
I can tell the joke. In fact, the joke is something that my brother Mark has made this joke in a joke form. But Jay thought it up instantly. There was a girl that was very attractive that we were discussing that was in the Navy. And instantly, Jay said, I'd like to introduce her to some semen. Navy. Seaman. Seaman. Seaman. Seaman. And, you know, which I thought was sophomoric. And I didn't really. But let me tell you, Woods and Jay enjoyed it a lot. And Jay set about laughing 20 minutes. He fell on the couch. He fell on the couch. He fell on the couch. Face beet red. And just laughed. He laughed until there were literally tears. Coming out of his eyes. I told my wife that joke last night. I told her the whole story. And she stopped for a second. Then she goes. It hit her. It hit her real good. Mikey's expression. Mikey was taking a big sip of coffee. And you're facing it. A little coffee drool back in. That's what you don't understand, Mike. That's 90% of the fun. It really is.
It's freaking me out. Watching your face when we tell or say something dirty is, you can't put a price on it. It's unbelievable. I'd say it's 99.5% of the fun for me. Oh, yeah. For sure. I know. Today on my blog, just one sentence. It's, why does L.O.B. find Mike jokes so funny? She does. You ever want to just get her going, just tell her a joke and involve me. Tickles her. No, but you have to tell it. All right. Chris is our phone screener. Crowd. That's crowd. Today's word of the day inspection. When you hear it, call her nine. You're going to the Chargers and the Seahawks in their big nationally televised game tomorrow night. Which, by the way, Wood says the blackout is lifted. Correct. We can now view this game tomorrow night. Everybody is excited. Football is back. We were... I was telling Woodsy about how if, you know, because Woods is from the Metroplex. He's from Dallas. Oh, yeah. Games don't usually get blacked out in Dallas. So he's not familiar with the whole blackout bit like we are. No idea how this SLB works. And he said he was shocked to find that even if a game is a Monday night football game and is on ESPN, if it's blacked out, you don't even get to watch it in San Diego on ESPN. It's gone. It shocks me. Yeah.
Yeah, even if it's nationally televised, it's over and done. And it's been the thorn in the side of San Diegans for a while. Let's see. So the London riots. First of all, you know, we haven't really gone much into the London riots. We haven't talked about it that much. But these riots that are happening there, now first of all, you need to know, today would be day five. Yesterday was day four of these really violent riots where... I'm talking about ransacked stores, torched cars, blackened buildings. Brits are terrified with what's going on. And it started because there was a guy named Mark Dugan who was shot to death by British police. His mom's come out and said, this guy is no gangster. He was a father of four. He was shot.
by police on last Thursday because of a pre-planned anti-firearms operation. And the guy got killed. Well, it upset a lot of teens. They thought it was police brutality. And so they've been rioting in London. And the prime minister of Britain, David Cameron, says that they're not going to be a culture of fear. And basically he's not ruling out using water cannons if necessary. Because they're really trying to get this thing, you know, contained. And they're having a hard time. And so basically he had done everything he could. And now he needs to resort to some stronger measures. But this is kind of funny. Hulk Hogan is being interviewed by BBC Radio in London.
And they want to ask him about it. Now he's in Orlando being interviewed via satellite by the BBC. And did you guys know that Hulk Hogan is a big deal in Britain? No. Me either. But apparently he is. But they ask him about the riots. Oh my gosh. There we go. Oh no. Mike. Take it easy. Don't get worried. It's going to be fine. This is good to speak to you. I know we've kept you waiting, as I'm sure you're aware. There's a lot going on in the UK. No, no, no. You didn't keep me waiting. I was really, really interested in hearing what you had to say because it sounds like bacon mania has a full plate, brother. You know, after I heard what's going on in the street. I don't either. I just, I'll cut you off the pass. I don't either.
Man, I just feel like maybe Hulkamania should run over there, start dropping legs, hitting people with big boots, and just stop the action. Let's rethink, brother. Rethink this whole thing and get these kids together. Change their thinking in a positive direction. Break the cycle. This craziness that's going on with the way they were raised and where they're at. Everybody's got a story, which is so what? But what now? That's what needs to be done. What now? Change the direction of the youth over there. Insightful. A little bit more from Hulk. Insight. Where are you right now? Brother, I'm at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. And have these riots in London and parts of the rest of the UK made the news in America? Yes, sir, brother. It's headline news. It's the only thing people are talking about, and we're praying for you guys. Is that right? I hadn't got that, but maybe in Orlando it's different. And M1s, maybe we missed the boat on this. Is this the main thing that people are talking about at the water cooler? I don't know. Like, I gather the news and I looked at it and I went. Dude, me too. I see it. I looked at it and I went. That sucks. Same as you. I go London. And I started looking for stories, you know, over here. I mean, we don't do a lot of world news per se. You know what I mean? No. But I'm with you. Yeah. I wouldn't say it's the only thing people are talking about. No.
I mentioned on Twitter that you were coming on the show. Never have I received so many questions for one guest. And a lot of people said, this is Rob. How crazy is that? They love him, I guess. It'd be like if Carrot Top were huge. Massive. In Canada or something. Hey, Paul, can you get Hulk Hogan on the phone? Of course not. We've got to get the opinion. Really? You want the queen to? We want the opinion of America. Who better to represent America than Hulk Hogan? Yeah, but you realize that's the hardest get in the business. I can't get him. I can't get him. Try it. It's Hulk Hogan. Bloody Hulk. Curry7 on Twitter sent in a variation of this. Can you ask Hulk to go out in London tonight and crack a few skulls? Oh, brother, I was reading the Twitter pages and you, as soon as you shot the first round, brother, everybody reacted. Everybody wants the kids to get back on track. You know, it doesn't really matter if Hulk Hogan's over there potty slamming all the youth, you know, like I did Andre the Joe. A lot of nonsense. Sandwich and brothers. That's right. Absolutely. You have him saying the word brother. Brother.
And then in between that is a lot of nonsense. Correct. Brother. Look, brother. I'll crack skulls. You know what the world needs? Hulk, riots, and skull cracking. I'm freaking fascinated that why they love him. I can't wrap my head around it. I know. I didn't know wrestling was big over there. I know. I thought they would look at wrestling and be like, I would never watch something so stupid. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. But I'm fascinated by rednecks. It's ironic. That I get. Woodsy, tell everybody about what's going to be happening with the NFL. It's the biggest story of the day, man, without question. In the sports world, the NFL has added game day tests for performance enhancing drugs. How? So, they're random. Yeah, well, they're not giving away too much. They said...
We've developed a way to test that is, quote, not overly disruptive to the clubs and respects the game day process. So Joe Blow walks in and they're like, come with me. Right. And just the day of the game. And maybe he has to go pee and they have a quick way of checking it. Quick deal. And, oh, he's out. He took whatever. Can you imagine how crazy it'll be if we're watching TV and all of a sudden. And if you're just joining us. Breaking news out of Atlanta. So-and-so has tested positive in random testing this morning and will not be starting. So you fantasy football geeks that are trying to start your tight ends, make sure you don't put Tony Gonzalez on your roster today. Welcome everybody to Atlanta. Yeah. Weird. Well, I mean, wait for it because it's gonna happen. Yeah. I mean, you know, the NFL is a great organization. It's an awesome, awesome product.
You know, they've skirted the performance-enhancing drug issue. No, you never hear it. And here's the deal, dude. You know it's happening. I know it's happening. Everybody knows it's happening. I think so. And you know why? Because it's not as talked about. Right. The fact that we don't hear about it makes me think something's up. Absolutely. They will not be testing for recreational drugs. So you guys have a ball. Party on. Yeah, party on. But don't do the PEDs. Meaning that... So dope won't come up. Yeah, fresh marijuana. Marijuana, good. Marijuana cigarette will not show up. Sterate's bad. Sterate's bad, yeah. We did bounce back yesterday. The Dow went up 400 points. That was good. I was so pleased with my portfolio for the resurgence. Back on top. Back on top. The kid is good. Bam. You realize, man, that if the Dow drops, we'll pay more for stuff in the end. This is good news. I know you guys are making fun of it. No. It's good. You are making fun. Weaning. Serious. 570-1949. I was just counting money this morning when I woke up. That's right. I made it rain. Piles of dough. Tens of twenties of dollars. November 5th is the day that Anonymous says that they will strike. The group is called Anonymous. And they are a internet hacking site that says on November 1st.
They're going to, quote, kill Facebook. November 5th, excuse me. Kill Facebook. Here's what they said in a YouTube video. Your medium of communication that you all so dearly adore will be destroyed. Little jerks. Nerds. Yes. What are you doing? What are you doing? Get a freaking... Maybe you can go out and maybe try to French kiss a girl. Yeah, date a girl. Yeah, cure cancer. Maybe try to take a girl's clothes off. You know. Use that brain power for good. Do something. You're an idiot. Hackers. Come on. They're calling it Operation Facebook. Of course they are. Barney Frank's a U.S. representative, and they think that he may have farted on live TV. What? He is the former chairman of the House Financial Services Committee. Did he fart? Please. I will play you the audio, and you will hear it for yourself. This is a big Huffington Post deal. It's big everywhere.
You decide for yourselves, Americans. Did he fart? You got something worth adding to The Mikey Show? Thanks, Nostradamus. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. No. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. There he is, the Prince of Canada. Mikey. More coming up on FM 94.9. There are times in your life when you've got to compromise. What car are you going to get for the family? How are you going to redecorate the living room? Stuff like that. But when it comes to... Your cell phone plan. You don't have to compromise because now they got something called GoPhone from AT&T. It's got unlimited talk, text, web. You get everything you want for 50 bucks a month. And they're not going to do a credit check on you. There's no annual contract, no credit check, 50 bucks a month. Booyah. It's that easy.
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Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer. They've got a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Make an appointment with their experts. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Tell me, what did the world look like to you when you first opened your eyes? Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. You don't skimp on hair products. You don't skimp on haircuts. You don't skimp on DJs, designer jeans. And you don't skimp on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. That's our boy Jared. Gosh, darn it, is he good. I mean incredible. You got graphic design of any kind that you need to have done? He's your guy. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is his website. Inspections, the word of the day. Caller 9, when you hear me, work that into a sentence. Could be worth Chargers and Seahawks tickets. Tomorrow. Let's see. Cutest thing in the world yesterday. Jake was upset, which wasn't cute, but he was screaming and crying, very upset, and looked up at the TV for a second and saw a promo for the Chargers and stopped crying and went,
Are the Chargers on? No. Wow. That's awesome. It was a very proud father moment. Oh, yeah. Sure. Oh, wow. Football guy. You're getting it. You're a football guy. Yeah, you're a football guy. It's freaking great. You're lucky. You're starting to get it. Barney Frank is a U.S. representative, former chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, was doing an interview and may have farted during the interview. Now, what I'm going to play is a seven-second clip. approximately four seconds into the clip, you won't have to listen hard. We have to figure out, all right, what do we do from here? And you're right. We've got to get some jobs. And we have to deal with the debt. And there's one way to do it. He didn't miss a beat, though. I'll give him that. Well, he just raised the leg, I think. We have to figure out, all right, what do we do from here? And you're right. We've got to get some jobs. And we have to deal with the debt. And there's one way to do it. Well... I think it's pretty self-explanatory. I think he was on a leather seat. That's what I would say. I think he was standing at a podium. Jobs. Maybe it was a leather podium. Yeah. Right. We've got to get some jobs. And we have to deal with the debt. You've got to get some jobs. Sounds like he's about 100. You've got to get some jobs. And we have to deal with the debt. And there's one way to do it.
Maybe it's his assistant. Is it impossible to hold your farts? Sometimes. You've never had one just squeak out loud? Not loud. When they escape and you can't do anything about it, they're usually not large. What do you call them? Seepers? Yeah, they'd be more of a seeper. I've had one just bust out. I was in a big meeting at Qualcomm and I'm sitting there talking to these people. Qualcomm? Stadium. Oh, okay. Got it. And what happened? Where were you? What were you doing? We were in a conference room, and I was the producer of Sky Show. I put on this big fireworks program, and I'm sitting there, and I have all these people around me, and I'm just in full, like, you know, trying to make them trust me. Are you standing? No, I was sitting. Sitting, okay. And I was, like, really trying to move. And I was, like, and I was, like, excuse me. Oh, no, no, no. I said, excuse me, and I just kept moving forward. No, no, no, no, no. done it people have done it you don't say excuse yeah excuse me and i just kept it going like if it was an accident and everyone heard it you have to say yeah excuse me is gross it's hideous it makes it stink more yeah it does the good news was it was it was not very smelly that's the good news yeah did you get the business oh yeah yeah i mean they you know you had already signed the paper otherwise they would have backed out
Well, L.O.B., what would you do if it was noticeable and loud in an accident? You can't ignore it. I have to make a joke. Excuse me just brings the foulness of it to light. These people were super serious. It was the fire department. It was the police department. It was all the people from the city. These are firemen. Trust me. Sounds like you got a three alarm there. It's an old thing to say. Excuse me. These are old guys. It's a senior citizen moment. Yes. These are all senior citizens. I think what you did was professional. I would have had to run out of the room and move to Rhode Island. That's what I would have done. I would have been there with you. I would have packed my wife and said, hey, we're moving to Rhode Island, and I'm going to be a lobster fisherman. Alfonso Ribiero. Oh, yeah. Do you know who that is? Hell yes. In different strokes, pal. In Fresh Prince. He was in Fresh Prince, Woodsy. Very well done. He was in Fresh Prince. Not different strokes. Silver spoons. Idiot. Oh, yeah. And he was getting his hair cut at the barbershop. And a fight broke out and guns came out. That's right.
It was probably the dumbest fight that I've ever seen in my life, but now I've got to get a new barber. Well, no, they finished what I asked them to finish, but I wasn't going to sit in the barbershop. One of the guys who got his butt whooped walked out of the bar, didn't come back in. I was going to make sure that he didn't come back with a gun and start shooting up the place, so I went and got a quick cut and got out of it. And I heard that argument was over, now is this true, them turning up the television or the radio in the barbershop? Yeah, one wanted music, one wanted TV. How ridiculous is that? Holy cow, that's Carlton. Yeah. Fresh Prince Carlton. Pretty nuts. He has pretty nuts? Oh, no. How did he know? What? You see his sex tape or something? It's a J joke. I know. One of those. That's a stretch, too. Yeah, it is. Was it? You're better than that. You're better. You guys are clowns. I believe you're better than that. I'm on one today, just FYI. Uh-oh. What do you want one? You should be the happiest guy. No, I'm not on one in a bad way. I'm on one in like a mischievous. I feel very mischievous today. Very mischievous. I've noticed. Man. Watch out. Yeah, you got to watch out. It's woods. Lady told me yesterday on Facebook that if, you know, my nephew was born yesterday and she said, well, it's time for you to clean up your act because you'll have little eyes watching. I said so. Wow. Clean up your act. Oh, wow.
I wish you could tell me who said that. I don't know. I don't remember. But I'm like, my act's not that bad. I bet it was your mom. It wasn't my mom. It was not my mother. Wash your eyes out with soap. Yeah, seriously. Jay. Yes, sir. Guess what we're going to do. What? They say it's your birthday. After we do this, we may have time for buzzword. And so if you want to pick one of us, you can pick... Me, Woods, or L-O-B to represent you in buzzword. L-O-B guaranteed winner. She wins every time. Every single time. Every time. Airhorn birthdays, of course, where we call M1s and rouse them from bed. And we do it with an airhorn. It's a lot of fun, except for the person getting woken up. Elizabeth. Morning, sorry to bother you. Is Elizabeth in, please? Yeah, that's me. Hi, Elizabeth.
Hi. How are you, my darling? How old are you today? I'm 21. Oh, yeah. So it begins. 21 years of age. Magic. It is. It's a magical year. It sure is. Hey, Elizabeth, you'll finally be able to taste alcohol for the first time ever. First time tonight. Tonight, yeah. What are the plans? What are you going to do? I'm just having dinner with friends and family. Maybe a couple of drinks, I guess. Yeah, that's very mature. I like it. 21 drinks. 21 shots on your birthday. There you go. I think it's a little much, but we'll see. Maybe two. Well, Elizabeth, we love you. Thank you for being an M1, and happy birthday. Thank you, guys. I love you guys. All right. We love you. We'll talk to you later. We should come up with some sort of a birthday present, but I haven't thought of one yet. Maybe we'll come up with some kind of a, you know.
Pen holder. Spankings. Yes. Jay. What if we invited him in to hang out with us? And then spank him. That's a good idea. How about a ball gag? Yeah, Mike. Oh. Now we're talking. Wooden horse. That'd be all right, Mike. In your world. How about a stripper pole, Mike? Yeah. Give him a free Mackie show stripper pole. I'd call it a fireman's pole. That's the way you get around it. Right. But we install a swing. There is M1 Daniel in place. M1 Daniel? Yes, Daniel. Yes, sir. Who the hell are you calling sir? Daniel, how are you? I'm awesome now. Thank you, guys. How old are you? I'm big 32. 32. Another good age. Hey, Woodsy came up with a good idea. We're going to invite you into the studio, buddy. That would be awesome. You got it. Hang on the line and happy birthday to you. Thank you. No spankings for you.
Yeah, spanking. L.O.B., you'll be the one. Yeah. You'll be the one giving out that spanking. That's Jay's official duty. M1 Harold from San Marcos. Who do you want? I want L.O.B. You got it. Well, no, who do you want to play for in the game? Stop it. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? I'll take Woods for the game, please. There you go. Hang on the line. And finally, M1 James from San Diego. You've got me. And maybe I'll pull out this victory for you. I'm looking forward to it there, Mikey. All right. What's the prize, Jay? It's lunch for two. It's Surf Brothers Teriyaki. Give me the word! The word is apple. All right. All right. How do you spell it? A-P-P-L-E. Let's do this. Apple. Apple. He's going to give us clues. Apple. Here we go. The object of my attention. Apple eye! Son of a... You just said apple. I said apple of my eye. Did you? Okay, I thought you just said apple. There you go, then. You get it. Wait, wait, wait. I gotta keep score. Hold on. Oh, no. Here we go. She's tornadic. She's tornadic right now. Watch out. Cheater. Mike, you're a cheater. You're the Irish cyclone. She's cyclonic. She's cyclonic. Lump in a man's throat. Apple! Apple! Apple! What is my problem? Lauren got that first. You just can't say apple, apple. Yeah, apple, apple. You threw me out. Threw me out.
Apple, Apple. Apple, Apple, Apple. 70s, Tim Conway, Don Knox flick. Oh! Apple Dumpling Gang. Yes. Don. LLB. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. What did I say? Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. What did I say? Don Knox. Oh, I love you. Don Knotts. It's K-N-O-T-T-S. There's no X in there. I don't hear it. Don Knox. Don Knox. Don't hear it. I love him. I love him. I'm lightheaded. I'm lightheaded. The first time he said it was a year ago. I've been waiting for him to say it ever since. Don Knox, man. Don Knox, Mr. Furley. Yeah. He also used to be in the Andy Griffith show. Andy Griffith. Yeah. Andy Griffith. Why does this game have so many references to Don Knox anyway? It lived in Mayberry. Here we go.
New York's nickname. Pink apple! Whoa! I have not even heard. Something's wrong with me. Clearly. I gotta put my glasses back on. She knocked her own glasses off. Wow, I don't know that one. The All-American Dessert. Apple pie! Mikey? Weird that you get them. Pork chops. Pink apple sauce! I think that was Mikey. What? He just screams apple. What? National chain of restaurants. Applebee's! I'm going to give it like a three-way tie. Oh, for the love of... You guys ever contest? Yeah, every time. Autumn's refreshing nectar. Apple juice! Apple cider! There you go. Darn it. Apple juice, same thing, but... All right, new word.
What's the score? What's the score? All right, all right. It's Mikey five, Woods two, me three. All right, here we go. The word is high. High. H-I-G-H. H-I-G-H. High. I swear. Anyone knows an ant can't move a rubber tree plant. The word is high. High hopes? There you go. What? Because he's got high hopes. How does that? I don't get it. It's a song. High hopes. Is that the lyrics to it? Yeah, it's the lyrics to a song. Got it, got it, got it. The most diplomatic course. The high road. There you go. Yes. So that's a tie game, right? Yeah, it's Mikey 5, Woods 2, Ella B 5. Okay, here we go. It's hard to do, especially when you sing Danny Boy. High note. Hit the high note. There you go. Oh, wow. Oh, Danny Boy. She wins every time.
Why does she do so good at this? She's so good. I say jump. You ask. How am I? That was me. I'll give it to Woods because he's a complainer. You ever just complain your way into a victory? It was me. It was me. You know how I'm honest with this game. I'll tell you. Oh, yeah. I tell if it's you. Always. Always. That's not exactly your game. Always. Here we go. Did you say dishonest in this game? I said honest. Always. You know that. Sophisticated. Highbrow. High society. There you go. Just give it to her. Dang it. Is it over? What score? Can't be over. Nike 5, Woods 3, LB 7. Winner. What? Hot today, dude. Dang it. Gosh darn it. She's dancing a victory dance. Dang it. Harold. Harold. Yeah. Get yourself some chicken lunch. You knew what to do, buddy. Dang it. Chicken wine. The place is pretty good, man. I ate there one time. Surf Brothers. Oh, it's good. They do teriyaki chicken. Oh, yeah. They're the only local family-owned chain in San Diego. LOP, what are you eating? What is that? I can't even. I'm going to have some snacks. Is that the stuff you put on Facebook yesterday? This is a green smoothie. It's a little different. I'm on a vegetable kick. This is almost the same ingredients. There's some celery. There's some kale. I've seen it in a diaper. Yeah, 100%.
Where are those cookies? That's what you put on Facebook. This is a pulp. I juiced a bunch of stuff yesterday, a bunch of vegetables. You monster. And I took the pulp from that. And instead of wasting it, I made... It's meant to be thrown away. They're cuffins. What? They're cuffins. I named them cuffins. They're not quite... They're rubbery. They're not quite cookies. They're not quite muffins. That's hideous. You know what you should have called these? There's chunks of spinach in them. I'm not kidding you. On the bottom of them, they have the texture of a marshmallow. In fact, the whole thing feels like a marshmallow. It's marshmallow-y. It should be called a gookie because it's a garbage cookie. It's garbage that's meant to be thrown away. It's the waste product of something. It's good. It'd be good with butter on it. Like a biscuit almost. Wait, wait, wait. Before I eat it, before I eat it, I'm going to tell you. It's the color of yellow curry. And you see little bits of greens in it. So it's almost like that. And the bits are so small. Oh, my gosh. It's spinach, Mike. It's a big chunk of spinach in this one if you want it. Yeah, but the spinach is all small, so it looks almost like basil, but it's spinach. There's some lemon rinds in there which might give the yellow color. Lemon rinds. Rinds of lemon. When you smell it.
It's got this nutmeg-y... Cinnamon. There's cinnamon in it. Cinnamon smell. Did you put any sugar? No. Oh, gross. Whole wheat flour, Mike. Then what's supposed to give it the... Well, there's some almond milk in there, and there's also some vanilla extract and the cinnamon, so... But there's absolutely nothing to give it sweetness. The almond milk has some sweetness. And the vanilla. Are you ready? Open mind. Open mind. Healthy cookie. Open mind. This is a healthy cookie. Ready? Yes, here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, no, no, no. Don't throw it away. Oh, God. What is wrong with both you clowns? You guys. Wasteful. You guys are allergic to vegetables. Oh, my God. Oh, it's so good. Oh, my God. It's like mealy in the back of my teeth. You're crazy. Jay likes it. Jay's a clown. He doesn't like it. I love it. He's doing a health bit. Man, you put butter on it. It's like a biscuit. Heat it up. It's a biscuit. It's like a biscuit. It's not like a cookie. That's hideous. It's a biscuit. Next time I'll put sugar in chocolate chips. Next time just make regular cookies. I'd eat that all day long. That tasted... It tasted... Okay. It tasted like when there's something in your crisper that's gone bad and you know something's gone bad in your crisper. Some kind of bad vegetable's gone bad in your crisper. And you go, oh, it's this celery and it's...
developed water on the bottom of the plastic bag, and it's celery, and it's brown. It's developed watery. And it bends. You could bend it like a horseshoe if you wanted to. Yes. Ella B., maybe one of the most hideous. Oh, stop. That was good. You should smell this smoothie. No. You think that was hideous. Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it. There's Greek yogurt in there. It just ruined my day. Ruined your day. Woods. Wow. It literally made Woods gag. You guys are allergic to hell. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Fine. I'll carry the weight. I don't care. I hate that. Come on, L.O.B. Fantastic, L.O.B. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. He's doing a bit. I am not. We have something really cool happening on the Mikey Show tomorrow that you're going to want to tell your friends about and tune into.
Oh, my gosh. When I heard about it yesterday, I flipped out. I was so happy. And we're going to tell you it's happening tomorrow. We'll tell you what it is next. But also, Al Sharpton was reading off a teleprompter and had one of the most monumental breakdowns in a teleprompter breakdown ever. I mean, it's monumental. When I first started listening to it, I'm like, oh, it's not so bad. Oh, uh-oh. It's bad. And it's next. You got something worth adding to the Mikey show? This is what they do. Number one. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. If we have any children, please step out. We'll call Mikey now. Are you trying to make this sound bad? Because it sounds great. 570-1949. More coming up on FM 94.9. Get ready for the party of the summer. Unity Tour 2011. 311. And.
Sublime with Rome. Friday, August 19th, Cricket Wireless Amphitheater presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. 311 and Sublime with Rome. Plus special guests, DJ Soulman and DJ Tricrome. Tickets are on sale now at livenation.com, ticket master or charge by phone at 1-800-745-3000. I'm Eni Batista. This is my story. Some of the older guys in our unit said their first time out was even tougher than they imagined. Dig in, they said. Follow orders. And wherever you go, take your Navy Federal credit card to buy a crib or a stroller or whatever baby thing your wife demands. Don't argue. Just buy. Three and a half million members from every branch of service and their families. Three and a half million stories. Navy Federal Credit Union. Over a hundred years ago, a deli company opened its doors with a different set of rules.
There will be no cutting corners, no compromises, no sacrificing quality in the name of profits. The name of that company was Boar's Head. And one by one, exceptional Boar's Head products began to appear. The highest quality ham and turkey, roast beef and chicken, artisan cheeses, deli products made to standards established over a hundred years ago, but rarely found in the deli business today. And one by one, exceptional stores across America began to recognize Boar's Head's unique quality. In fact, Boar's Head has become a symbol for stores that have high standards of their own. Boar's Head is not sold everywhere. You'll only find it in select stores that share our point of view. Try Boar's Head for yourself. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three,
Roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four. Slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five. Repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late, and way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego County are now open 24 hours. So drive through any time. Participation varies. It's no secret that when you start with something better, you get something better. It's why some of the sweetest peaches come from sunny Georgia. Why some of the most revered grapes come from the fertile soil of Napa Valley. And it's why every great tasting drop of Arrowhead 100% Mountain Spring Water. comes from carefully selected sources in snow-capped mountains, a tradition that started in 1894. Arrowhead comes from places where the elements are just right, where minerals strike a unique balance, where each drop is filtered naturally beneath the earth. Then we bring it to you. So every time you drink Arrowhead, it tastes as crisp and refreshing as the day it was born. Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water. Born better.
Try Arrowhead Sparkling Natural Spring Water, nature's fix, with zero calories and just three natural ingredients. It's habit-forming in a good way. Stevie! Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet, I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Least the 2011 RX350 for $459 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due with signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 RX350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid on the Lexus Western areas only and end September 6th, 2011. This September, the music scene in Vegas gets crazy, and there's something for everyone. Ben Harper plays poolside at the Cosmopolitan. The Beach Boys take over Mandalay Bay. Collective Soul serenades at Hard Rock.
And Elton John takes up residency at Caesars Palace with his show, Million Dollar Piano. What's stopping you? Go to VisitLasVegas.com and start planning your trip today. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Hey, it's Mikey for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of Balboa and Convoy and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done as long as the sun keeps shining. Online at sunglassoptical.com. This report is brought to you by IHOP. Kids eat free at IHOP every day in August from 4 to 10 p.m. They also get a free activity booklet loaded with back-to-school savings. There's no better way to make an IHOP day at participating restaurants. Looks like the 8 westbound ramp to the 5 southbound. There is an accident there. It's blocking that right lane. It's a semi and a pickup truck. It's on the transition. Traffic pretty slow as you approach there. Through Escondido, you're going to find some delays on the 15 southbound from the 78 to Via Rancho Parkway and a stretcher on the 15.
northbound some slow traffic from Oceanview Boulevard to Friars Road. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota Owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Make an appointment with their experts. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Really good financial media station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Word of the day's inspection. I haven't said it yet. When I do, call her nine. Send you to go see the Chargers take on the Seahawks at Qualcomm tomorrow. Just a second, I'm going to be telling you about something really cool that we're doing tomorrow. It's really cool. So this Dunkin' Donuts employee from Rockaway, New Jersey. You know where that is, L.O.B.? L.O.B.'s from New Jersey. This girl is 29. Her name is Melissa Redmond. She just got in trouble because she was turning tricks at Dunkin' Donuts. She worked the overnight shift. Oh, boy. They got some word that there was a girl that was working at Dunkin' Donuts that was basically arranging tricks with patrons.
And so they started an investigation, not kidding, called Operation Extra Sugar. It's not a joke. Mikey, you can't just make up operation names. It's a true story. Because what they were noticing is that dudes would drive up, spend a long time in the store, and sometimes they would get in Melissa's car and they'd take this long drive. And so what they did was they put an undercover cop... in the drive-thru, and she said to him, quote, if you want a good time, give me a call. And he did. And they arranged for services, and she was arrested for prostitution. I walked out of that Dunkin' Donuts, and they were like, you were in there for 45 minutes. And I said, but I didn't have sex with anybody. I was just eating donuts. Yeah. I swear I didn't have sex with anybody. I was just browsing. I was browsing. It's like my favorite place. The whole new definition on glazing the donut. Boy, can I start celebrating? Gallagher-esque. Good one, Sinbad. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Oh, tons of stuff, my friend. First of all, I've got to tell you about the Padres' bullpen. Blew a lead in the eighth inning for the second straight night. They lost to the Mets 5-4. They will be taking on the Mets again. The streak has not started over for my Friars haircut. If they win six in a row, I will shave my head into a Friars cut. So they lost last night. They will be playing today at 4.10 p.m. at Citi Field in New York.
And it will be Aaron Harang against R.A. Dickey. Also, the walking bit of the NFL, Chad Ochocinco has a new bit, Mike. So he is a New England Patriot now. Doesn't have a place to live. Right. So what would you do if you were Ochocinco? You'd go get an apartment. Not him. He's going to find a fan to stay with. He's going to stay with a fan for the first couple weeks of the season. And he's not kidding. It doesn't surprise me at all. You know why? I believe that Chad is a very, I've seen him do other stuff on Twitter, and I think Chad is really lonely. Could be. I do. I think he's a very lonely guy. He had a super hot girl with him at the Red Sox game the other night. Super hot. Let me tell you, though. Let me tell you why I think he's lonely. I've heard him on interviews before where he didn't want the interview to stop, and he would say, that's it?
And they would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. It's weird what's going on with Chad Ochocinco. He's going to stay with a fan. Yeah, he says, I'm going to do something different. I'm actually going to stay with a fan for the first two or three weeks of the season. That should be fun until I get myself acclimated and learn my way around. Guy wants to make a friend. Wow. And he says, I'm not sure how it's going to work, but they have to have internet and they have to have Xbox. That's about it. Wow. So people are lining up for this thing, obviously. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool, but on his part, a little scary, you know? So check this out. We got something pretty cool that we're going to be doing tomorrow. And we'll put it on our Twitter. We'll put it on our fan page. And we need M1 Nation to come together and virally get the word out about this. This is really, really cool. Tomorrow, Sony Music. or excuse me, Sony Studios, have bought advertising time right here on The Mikey Show. They got a new movie coming out called 30 Minutes or Less, and it hits theaters on Friday. So what they've done is bought a block on The Mikey Show tomorrow. So from 7 a.m. tomorrow to 7.55, The Mikey Show will be commercial free.
So if you like your Mikey show, tomorrow you're really going to like your Mikey show. Because tomorrow your Mikey show is going to be commercial free for 50 minutes. Yeah. 7 to 7.55. 50 minutes of that in there. Uh-huh. Okay. Just glazing donuts and stuff. Glazing donuts. I got a booners. So you're going to love it. Tomorrow morning. Let people know. Now, again, this is because of the movie 30 Minutes or Less, which is going to be in theaters on Friday. And because of that, Sony has bought some time on The Mikey Show to have us advertise it. And I'm advertising it early by telling you right now about it. And I can't wait for it to happen tomorrow. So, yeah, I mean, I love it. I got the biggest smile yesterday when I heard about that.
If we didn't have to take commercials, we wouldn't. We would sit here for six hours some days. Yeah. You know? We would just bring a little port-a-john. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, this is pretty cool. This is a girl singing Rolling in the Deep by Adele. Adele. And it's all pretty, you know, normal and everything. It's just who she is. Just a regular girl in the Air Force. Take a listen. To this. Up next is not easy to hit. She's wearing camis. I mean, she's got her buddies in the Air Force helping her out on the instruments. Wow. Five feet tall. Really? Yep. No mic. That audio is being recorded just from the camcorder that they're recording it on. That's freaking great. You know what I would do, man? If I was a producer in Hollywood and I was able to produce television shows, I bet there's a lot of talent in the military.
I would do a feel-good show that had the same vibe to it as Extreme Home Makeover or Biggest Loser, you know, that emotional thing. And you take these great stories of people that are in the military and have them do a talent. Because there's a lot of talented people now. There is nothing I don't think that gets me more than a military story. There was one last week, or a couple weeks ago, this guy, his... Kid was playing in the baseball all-star game. And he came home. Kid didn't know he was coming. And he went out and threw out the first pitch. I'm sitting at my computer. I'm like... And he runs up and hugs his dad. I'm like... How great is that? Nothing gets me like those, man. It's so great. So cool. Does it bother you guys when they break out the Christmas stuff too early? Oh, yeah, dude. Is that one of those deals that just kind of irritates you? Yeah, I love it. Love it. Start seeing it? Most good dads do. It's like right after Halloween. Good people do. I mean, it's normally like, what, November? Well, yeah, it's right after Halloween. It's like, oh, man, already? Gets me excited. Last week, 149 days before Christmas, Harrods Department Store in London, and don't worry, it'll be reaching the American shores very soon, broke out their Christmas stuff.
Oh, that's great. Now, they celebrate Christmas the same day as us, right? Yes, they do. Okay, I just wanted to double-check. Because I thought that can't be, right? Well, they are saying that the reason for it is Muslims. Makes perfect sense, right? Here's the explanation. We see Ramadan is actually quite early this year, and a lot of Muslim families, although they're on vacation right now, so they don't necessarily celebrate Christmas. They do enjoy Christmas decorations for their homes. And always have. And so we thought it would be a good idea to get them out for the Muslims. Makes sense. Does it? Nope. Not even a little bit. You'd be pissed you walk into Nordstrom's tomorrow and there's Christmas stuff out. No way. Come on, dude. There has to be too early somehow, no? Isn't there... It's not possible...
Too early with that crap? I mean, I feel like they're Christmas raping me. Yeah. Mike, have you ever even talked to my wife? She has said before that being married to me is like Christmas. Yeah. Every day. She says it's just the funnest thing in the world. She said lovemaking with me. It's fun. It's like Christmas morning. Yeah. She says, what good is Christmas without Jay Isbell? Right. That's right. She called it Ismas. I know she loves my package. Apologize to new listeners that are just hearing Jay for the first time. It's his style. To regular M1s, you know, you're welcome, I guess, because I know you love him. Anything he does. Anything he says. Mike, they'll take my scraps. M1s. They'll take my scraps. They don't care. Anything I give, they're willing to get it. If they just get the littlest taste, they're all the way in. They're like...
heroin addicts. All they need is just a little tape. When your kids were little, Jay, did they prefer you babysitting them or mom babysitting? I would almost think you'd give Kim a run for her money. I don't know. We both were pretty on the same scale. We were both pretty equal. We never spend any time apart because it's just the kind of family that we are. That's pretty true. It's pretty much me and Kim as a package, Mike. That's what you get, Mike. Yeah, that's right. I said package. Again. Again. Hey, Crapdad, would you know what that's like? Hey, Mike, you're Crapdad. I know you got to think about it every once in a while. Hey, Crapdad, how many babysitters do you have? Called his house the other day. Rebecca answered the phone. I said, hi, Becker. Is Crapdad in? She knew who I meant, of course. Anybody would. I mean, yeah. I can practically just pick up a phone book for Austin, Texas and call someone and say, hey, is Crapdad there? And I'll say, no, Mike Spars ain't here. Now, he left Texas a few years ago. I believe he moved back to San Diego. But if we see Crapdad, we'll let him know. Crapdad gets me real. He's called CD. No, Crapdad. Crapdad's better. I bet Jay is and would be a Crapdad.
crazy babysitter. Oh, yeah. Like, if you came home, like, if I had my kids watched by Jay, who knows what stories they would tell when I came to pick them up. Yeah, Jay decided that it would be a good idea for us to jump rope on a, you know, on the roof of a building. Well, it was on fire. We lit the jump rope on fire and they were making me jump over. They'd have fun. It would just be dangerous. Yeah. Or weird. I had a crazy babysitter, not named Jay, but named Kay. Weird. Who was an old woman that smelled like mothballs and wore her bathrobe around the house. Wait, wait, wait. So she would come over. She would come over. Or would you go over? She would come over when my parents went out of town. So she wasn't like your Friday night babysitter. She was the extended stay babysitter. And during the day, she would wear the robe? Yeah, as long as she was in the house, she'd have robe and slippers on. I know. And like a silky grandma nightgown on underneath. Is it one of those deals where if you smell mothballs, even today? It reminds me of Kay. How old was she at that time? At least late 70s. Give me your best Kay story. Well, there's a lot, but there's one. One story was we were eating spaghetti.
And she always wanted to teach us lessons by terrifying us. And we were eating spaghetti. And she said, you know, this is what my son's brains look like. After he split his head open jumping on the bed. And we were like, hmm. How old were you? I started at about maybe six, seven. And then she stuck around until I was about ten. What else? She also used to, okay, what's one of the things? She wouldn't let us have friends over at the house. One time my brother, he rode his bike with his friend. They had come like three miles across town and then my brother's friend got there and she made my brother's friend turn around who had to pee and she wouldn't let him come in to pee and she wouldn't let him come in to hang out and she told my brother that she made him look like a jackass and then she threw a wooden spoon at him. At your brother? Yes. Because she didn't want, I guess maybe because she had the bathrobe on. I don't know. She just didn't want. She probably didn't want to deal with more kids. She was crazy. She was an abusive, crazy babysitter. That's what the kid do. He had to ride his bike all the way back home. They had come at least three miles across town on their bikes. And they were like 12, you know. What else? You made me look like a jackass. I love this. What else? Let's see. One time we were trying to decide what we wanted for dinner.
And it was, you know, there's five kids in my family. And she clearly wanted cheesesteaks. She was going to make cheesesteaks. So she took a vote and it was even. And then she asked my little brother, who at the time was about, I don't know, three or four. And she tried to be sweet to him. And she said, and what do you want, little guy? And he said, um, chicken fingers. And she wanted the cheesesteak. And so it broke the tie and favored the chicken fingers. And she said, what do you know? You're just a kid. And she picked him up by his arm and drank. Oh. Wow. My gosh. Oh, yeah. Where'd your parents find this, Brad? I don't know. Craigslist. Yeah. It took us years to come out and tell the story and tell our parents, and they were like, no. Would she tell you not to say anything about it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. One time, so she didn't want us having gum for some reason, so my grandparents came over one time. My parents were out of town. They came, and they gave us all gum. As soon as my grandparents left, she made us spit our gum into her hand. And she would be like, you better not say anything. It was like the guy from... And it came from your grandparents? Yeah. And she said, don't tell anybody? Yeah, she would be like, don't you tell anybody. You better not. If you tell anyone. I've done it before. I've done it by fire. You know how spaghetti you're eating? That's what your head would look like.
She's like Kathy Bates in Misery. If we ran up the stairs, she must have had like 17 kids because every time we did something dangerous, she would tell us that's how one of her kids died. She's doing bits with you, but that's inappropriate. But you didn't know it was a bit. Right, of course not. You're young. She would be like running up the stairs and she would say, that's how my son fell and broke his neck and died. He died. Oh, my God. She's the Heinrich Himmler of babysitters. My sister-in-law babysat me. And I was in Tucson. I was young. I was in, you know, I'd go stay with Mark and Joanne for the summer. She'd get so irritated. She does get so irritated because I've told this story before. And when I do, she goes, oh, gosh, and tries to make noise so that I won't tell the story about the time that she rented The Exorcist when I was 12. No. Oh, dude. And she goes. You, it was, you wanted to see it. Nobody. I'm like, you were the adult. Oh, my God. You were the adult. You're supposed to say no. You had the call. You could have called it. I had a babysitter when I was young, Mike, named Frida. And she used to babysit me. She had babysat about 12 kids. One of the older kids had a broken arrow and shot me in the forehead with the tip broken off. And it hit me right in the head. And the arrow. And the babysitter was there? Yeah, yeah. Saw the whole thing. Like you didn't lose an eye. I know.
And watched it happen? Yep. Didn't do anything? Nope. Oh, wow. One time when I was babysitting kids, I was doing the thing. I would put them on my, carry them on my back and pretend like I didn't know where they were. And they loved that. I'd be like, where are they? Where are they? So I had the kid and I swung her around and her feet hit like three wine glasses that were hanging at the bar. So I shattered them all and they started crying. The kid started crying. I was like, it's okay. It's okay. So I swept it up into a plastic bag and threw it at the bottom of the trash can outside. And I was like, they were like, we won't tell mommy. We won't tell mommy. So the next time I went over there. The mother didn't say anything, but the kids were like, oh, by the way, we told Mommy, and she said it's okay to break stuff, but it's not okay to lie. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Bad. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. Bam. Morning, Mikey Joe. Good morning. We didn't have any crazy babysitters growing up, but we were absolutely terrible two babysitters. We grew up in a very, like, small...
farming community, tens of twenties of people. And we were known in the community as the bald sprats. And my mom, my mom probably went through six or seven babysitters in one year because we'd lock them out of the house or run away or climb trees or, you know, just drive them absolutely insane. And they'd quit. Oh, wow. That's gnarly. My babysitter liked to make out. Yes, that is not true. It's a hundred percent. How old were you? God, I was young. I was like nine or ten. What? How old is the baby, sir? She was probably, she could drive. Sixteen? Yeah. Did you, what happened? Did you, did you like make a move? No, no. She made the moves. It was, it was weird. So maybe. The boys just doing hand signals. Yeah, I'm like.
It probably could have gone a long ways, but I was too freaked out. Is this like a molestation story that he's telling? I mean, they might want to find her. Maybe the police would like to interview her. Mike, I can't tell you most of what we did on the radio because, you know, it's the FCC violation. But I have pictures of it. But speaking of violations, tell you about what she did and show you pictures. Piers Morgan is on that show America's Got Talent with Howie Mandel. and Howie Mandel used a fart machine on the show, and Piers Morgan gets, like, genuinely upset because he thinks it's disrespectful to the people that are performing. And we have audio of it. He got pissed. Can't wait. Pissed.
This is the Mikey Show. The best. That's right. It's the best. You think you got something worth adding? Are you going to be careful here with what you say? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What is it? The Vatican? Or text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got people too, baby. More coming up on FM 94.9. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. One inch binder, just 50 cents. Three pack paper made erasers, just 50 cents. Pourable glue, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back to school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 813. Binders and erasers limit three, glue limit five.
Hey, it's your old pal, Woodsy, for Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. And I went in there and got a consultation. I got a free consultation, and you can too, okay? If you call Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, 858-452-3937. Very easy to remember. And what you do is you book your consultation. You go in there, they take a look at you, and they see if you're a good candidate. LOB is doing it Friday. I did it already. Changed my life. I've got 2015 vision. Went and hit some balls with my boys yesterday, and I can see the baseball now without contacts or glasses. It's awesome. If you're an online guy and you want to just check out the website, sniff around there. You can go to www.clearvieweyes.com. Go meet with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. She will change her life. She changed mine. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Affordability, technology, and experience. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's talk to Ronnie on line one. Jay Box, I'm about to drop some knowledge on your listeners. Drop away. All right, check this out. I drop a monster truck limo. Want to know why? Because that's your job? Nah, bro, because I go big or I go home. Boom, that's how I roll.
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For a limited time, enjoy financing as low as 0.9% on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your San Diego County BMW Center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. Hear the Authentic Surf Report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Bright. This report is brought to you by Coinstar. At Coinstar, there's no fee. When you cash in your coins, you choose an Albertsons gift card. Keep every delicious scent sweet. Find the closest machine at Coinstar.com. We've got some backup on the 8 westbound, the ramp to the 5 southbound due to an accident. That right lane is blocked right now. Also, through Escondido, some delays on the 15 southbound from the 78 to Via Rancho Parkway. And then also, looks like the 805 southbound, that drive on the 905 is...
Pretty slow. This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. The race for big cash prices is on at Saquon Casino. You've got a ticket to ride. Saddle up every Monday through August 15th for your share of $350,000 in cash. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning brought to you by Frostbrood. Coors Light is how San Diego breaks. Corey Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surf West days, just seeing a little bit of that south-southwesterly swell, main force, main energy source, I should say. That's bringing small waves right now, need a waist high. Maybe a few chest-to-shoulder highways, and only those areas both open to that southwest swell direction, and that's further up north. Water temp warming up slowly but surely, 62, 64 degrees, so that's a good thing. Overcast skies now, light and variable winds, a little bit of a south texture to it.
That should back off a little bit more onshore westerly, but not that strong. It should be a fairly nice day out there. Overcast looks to clear up quicker today as well. So a slow increase to surf over the next few days, and things can only get better. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for surfboard restoration and repair needs, you go see Joe Roper. The authentic surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Anytime you're ready. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like watching guns and blowing stuff up. Woods. All I want is a crisp, sweet apple. That's it. And you can't find it. I can't find it. Every time I bite into it, it goes, Lauren. I write bad reviews about them online. And Jay. He'll go on a girl's trip and I'll go on like a surf trip or something. But if I have a choice.
I would rather be together. Whoa, what am I hearing? Now. On FM 94.9. Perform an inspection on me, I believe, because I just played a song that is unrecognizable, and I tell them, I say, look, Woods, if you're going to play music, I want it to be recognizable music, and I just played one that was a little offbeat. Do you know who it was? I always think, you've played it before, and I always think that it's Blue on Black, and it's not that song Blue on Black. It's... Kenny Wayne Shepard. It is not Kenny Wayne Shepard. It is all of the members. It is the surviving members of Stevie Ray Vaughan's band. Ah. Formed their own band. What are they called? Archangels. Oh, yeah. I know the Archangels. They're from Austin. Yeah. I just didn't know a lot of their tunes. It's good stuff. I wasn't going to perform an inspection. I thought you were. By the way. So feast on that. 570-1949. And put them on hold, Jay. Put them on hold.
I'm going to do this right now. And then we're going to talk to, you're also going to hear the Piers Morgan freaking out on Howie Mandel. We're going to play That's a True Statement. But first, who's this? Francisco, what was the word of the day? Inspection. That is correct. See how you did that. That is correct. You are going to see the Chargers and the Seahawks tomorrow night, bro. Congrats. Hang on the line. We're going to be talking to Jeremy. In just a second, Jeremy is our night guy here at FM 94.9. He's our every man. Yeah. He does everything. He's MVP. He's been, he has been employee of the month here. Year. Of the year. Employee of the year. Yeah. Which I've never been. No, and you never will be. I never will be the employee of the year.
I'll never be the employee of the month. You'll never be the employee of the day. That is true. That is a true. Yeah, you're always up doing bits and stuff. That's a true statement. Speaking of that's a true statement, we'll be playing that's a true statement in just a moment where we say something very bold and then we will reveal who said it. But first, before we do that, a couple of things. Monumental meltdown. Monumental meltdown from Al Sharpton trying to read a teleprompter. Tonight is the measure. Of whether the country begins in the state of Wisconsin, a national drive to push back, or whether we have more to go to build a movement of resistance. But resist, we much. We must and we will much about that be committed. Sounds like Jason R. Isbell. Hey, hey. Well said. It's a rough room. It is a rough room. Or a tough room. Or a tough room. A tough room. Most would say tough. But some same rough. Tough crowd. You know, either way. Piers Morgan getting really mad at Howie Mandel for using a fart machine on America's Got Talent. My issue was the middle bit. And I buzzed you when I got bored.
You know, if you're going to be a Vegas-style magician, it's got to have pizzazz. It's got to have movement, speed, excitement, dynamism. And in that middle bit, it's got to be... Can you stop being Sir Charles? What is he doing? He's got one of those fart machines. Don't let him do that to you. We didn't hear it on air. These guys are performing for a million dollars. All right? And how he's farting. Where is he? I think it's pathetic. I really do. I actually do. I think it's disrespectful to the angst. So, finish your point, Mr. Morgan. He sings like angst. Maybe you lighten up, Piers. Take it easy, Piers. Just chill out, Piers. Hey, Piers. Just because you took over for Larry King doesn't make you some sort of sophisticate. Hey, Piers. Just because you're British doesn't mean you can be a D. It's distracting. Oh, it's funny. You and your fart machines. Oh, my gosh. It's funny. You sophomoric men. Just lighten up, Pierce. Grow up, maybe. Pierce. Pierce. Pierce. Stop. I'm not freaking kidding, Pierce. Stop it. I'm stopped. You stopped. Stop, Pierce. Jeremy's here. Jeremy is our night guy here at FM 94.9. Who doesn't enjoy a really good fart day?
Oh, dude, yes. Yeah, they're funny. I amused myself all day yesterday with mine. You can't say it's just sophomoric men, because I'm going to let the cat out of the bag here. I'm going to pull the curtain back, as you say. My wife loves to fart. And her favorite bit is to sit and fart on me. Oh, wow. Oh, my. But that's a real fart. Jeremy, you are a real man. Because I, yes, I would too. I would too. Now, when you were dating this, Kurt? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so you knew. I mean, listen, we've said it before. There are guys that are down. There are guys that are not down. We're that gross couple, though. We do everything together. She doesn't look like a farter. No, she doesn't. She's so demure. She looks very demure. She's an angel. Beautiful. Beautiful. And seems very, you know, like, I don't fart. No. She got a nickname. From JR. What is it? Gassy girl. Oh, wow. Gassy girl. Does she ever buttercup you? Well, no. What she did is she got... Oh, she's done that before. She got gassy girl because she farted and then blamed JR. Oh, you dirty old man. He says, that wasn't me. That was you. My gosh. I've never heard my wife fart. Never heard my wife fart. Mine has, but it's like Haley's Comet, you know? Every 76 years. So Jeremy has a big bandage on his finger.
And tell everyone what you did Saturday. Kitchen accident. What happened? I was cutting lettuce for my lunch the next day and managed to gentsu the end of my finger right off. Why wasn't your wife doing it? Because I'm a man. I know how to fix my own food. Oh, Lauren's going to kill you. Look at that look. That look from Lauren is so steely-eyed. Oh, I'd love to get hurt. It bears right through you. It goes through your soul and there's an exit wound. On that look that she shoots you. Look at her. When you do the sexist humor. Her eyes are squinted at me like she looks like Margaret Cho right now. She's looking at me. That's 100%. Absolutely. So Jeremy. Jeremy's a real man. Yeah, I do. I do all the cooking at the house because I'm the one who's inclined to cook. He's a chef extraordinaire. The reason that I want to have him on to tell the story is because. He got it so good, the tip of his index finger. I cut it right through the nail. He cut right through the nail and almost cut it completely off. Skin flap is what they used in the hospital. So you sew it back on yourself? Wait, wait, wait. That's the best part. Oh, no. Well, see, once I did it and the blood started rushing down my hand, I went, hmm, I'm going to pass out. So I yelled to my wife. I said, hey, Amanda, I cut myself. I'm going to pass out.
Be back in a second. And you went and laid on the couch. I laid down, put my feet on the couch, and passed out. I woke up. She was smacking me in the face, screaming my name. Nice Bieber. Oh, really? Oh, really, Jay? Yeah. Who passes out from a cut? A lot of people. He almost cut his finger off. I've done it before, but not this bad. And I asked my doctor, why did I pass out? That's kind of messed up. Is there something wrong with me? She says, actually, how am I? parasympathetic nervous system reacts to stresses like this parasympathetic nervous system so i knew exactly when i did it and i started getting lightheaded then i was going down there was there was there was just so you woke up to a man of slap in the awake oh yeah now tell everybody what they had to do come on oh well when i finally went to the er they uh they stitched it up they put five stitches in it i actually have Three stitches in the nail. In the nail. Straight up. They've actually stitched the nail back together on the end of my finger. They had to go through the nail. I wonder if this is going to screw up your manicures. Look at what. Look at what. Does it get manicured? First of all, I've never had a manicure. I've never had a massage. Why are you saying that? It's just lending to the theory that Jeremy is a real man. Are you left-handed or right-handed?
I'm ambidextrous. Oh, so you'll be okay for a while. You creepy, creepy old... Take care of number one. Hey, Jay, I can switch hands and pick up a stroke. Whoa. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. He's talking about golf. Yep. Yeah. What do you think I was talking about? Mikey. Can I see? Can I see? Please don't. Can we take a picture? Can we take a picture? Oh, absolutely. Come here. In fact, if Amanda's awake, I'll have her text you the picture of me in the ER with a bloody finger. Oh, my gosh. Grundle hurts. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. My grundle hurts. I know. Oh, it makes it hurt. Oh, wait, wait, wait. It makes it hurt. It makes me feel weak. Come on, camera. Come on, camera. Oh, it makes it hurt. All right. I'm going to post this on our Facebook page. Wait, wait, wait. I wonder how sympathetic my nervous system is because it makes me feel weak. Seeing it. To look at that. Yeah. My parasympathetic. Oh, my God. Okay. I am posting this right now. If you go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you can take a look at this wound. And it's pretty outrageous. It's through the nail.
But it's stitched back together. It makes me feel like my arms are going to stop working just by looking at that. I'm tingly. I know. It's weird. I'm really curious to what it's going to look like when it grows back, if it grows back. Because I said, well, it'll grow back, right? And the girl stitching me up is like, maybe not so much. Bed finger. So when they, Jeremy, when they gave you the shot to numb it, when they gave you the shot to numb it, where did the shot go? Oh, they gave me two. I got them right. I guess they call it like the ring nerve. It's at the base of your finger and it runs. The nerves run up the side of your finger. So they shot me on one side of my index finger and they shot me in between. In the web. Yeah, in the web. And in fact, you can actually still see the mark where they stuck me right there. In the web. So that numbs your whole finger if they numb it at the base? Yep. Whole finger goes numb. Did you feel it when they went through the nail? No, it was the craziest thing.
I was watching them push it through my nail, and they had to use both hands. Through the nail, through the nail bed, through the other nail. Amazing. Really, dude? Really? I was fascinated by the whole thing. Once I got the initial passing out of the way, everything else was like, oh, this is the coolest thing ever. And of course, there was Amanda, sitting like Johnny Bench. watching every single move the doctor made. She wasn't freaked out by it, your wife? Absolutely not. The only thing that freaked her out was when I turned white and my eyes rolled back in my head. They would have had to, I would have had to chew on a wooden spoon when they did that. I would have to chew on a white spatula. Oh my gosh. See, they couldn't have joked with you like they joked with me. When I walked in, they looked at my finger. They said, yep, we're going to have to cut it off. Woods would have thrown out. You don't have to throw up just looking at it now. I am so not good with stuff like this. Thank you. Thank you, Jeremy. Anytime. That's a good story. I'm glad you can share in my pain. Love it. Love it. All right, it's time to play That's a True Statement. I'm going to reach in and I'm going to pull out a statement and then we are going to find out who said said statement.
Now, these are outrageous statements. By the way, the key to that's a true statement is to back us up. So when you hear this, one of us is going to, you know, feels this way. The key is for you to call and say, yeah, Mikey or yeah, Woods or L.O.B. or J. I agree with that. I back you up on that. Cool. Shuffle them around in there, pal. First one says, driver's licenses should expire. At 80 years old. That's a true statement. Jay said it. Jay, you don't want to drive anymore? I just don't think I should. You only got two years left. Nah, you're funny. No, I think that at one point, you become dangerous to yourself and the community. And 80 is about the bracket. I would support that. I don't have any problem with it. I think a retest. I would do a retest.
You know, the system is, I mean, I don't think the system is set up for really a retest. They just, you know, they kind of check you off as you go. Well, not only that, if I follow the logic, what he's saying is that at 80 years old, the law would be saying, you're just not capable, like they say to a 14-year-old. A 15-year-old can drive with a person in the car. Right. But a 14-year-old can't. Correct. And the law just says. Hey, maybe you're capable. Maybe you are. But we're saying that at 14, we as a state say, you're not. Because you haven't developed yet. When you're 80, you're breaking down. You're overdeveloped and breaking down. Not every 80-year-old. Not every 14-year-old. Wow. There you go, LLB. Feast on that. 570-194-9. You can call about any of these as you hear them. LLB, not down with it. I get on it. I'm on it. No way. Some people live to be over 100. Yeah, they shouldn't drive. Chinese people. Yeah, they shouldn't drive. And they can't drive anyways. Oh, wow. All right. I'm reaching in. And this one says. Sorry. I don't like that one. I told you I was on one. This one says, everybody wants to be a celebrity. That's a true statement. Really, L.O.B.? Wow. You believe. Yep. You believe that.
Jan from accounting wants to be a celebrity. Oh, yeah. It's a very Hollywood thing to say. Everybody. Why? It's very Hollywood. Why? Because she's a celebrity. I am not a celebrity. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Wait, Woods. You're saying that only a celebrity would say that? Yes. What? That's a weird logic, Woods. Oh, no. It's logic, but it's brilliant logic. Why is everybody obsessed with reality television? Why is everybody upset with celebrities? Deep down, we all want to be one. We may not want all the bad stuff that goes along with it, but we all do. You're telling me that my nanny, Nita, from Hungary, wants to be a celebrity. Of course. Why? Why? Yeah. Because you get attention, because you get special treatment, because you get to... Get that funny feeling that puts your name in lights. Everybody does. Everybody. I don't even care if people are like, oh, I'm so shy. I would never want that. You believe the shy people, too. Oh, yeah. Does this shy little bunnies jump high? Yeah, that's what Anita says. Shy bunnies jump high. Does this? No, little bunnies. Little bunnies. Does this include people that were once? Now, the reason I ask, there is a case study.
And the guy's name, well, he played Jake Ryan on 16 Candles. He was like the hottest guy in the world. Everybody wanted a piece of this guy. You know what he does now? What? He's a carpenter in New Hampshire. Well, he got a taste of it. He got a taste of it and it went out. Okay, okay. But he did want to be a celebrity. But he did for a while because that's why he went to be an actor. Even though you might not, you're like, oh, I don't want to be able, I don't want to go to the grocery store and have people, but okay, not, you might not want that drawback of it, but you want to know what it feels like. To have people know who you are. Your brother. Yeah. He wants to be a celebrity. You believe that deep down. Yes, I believe deep down he does. Wow. That is a good one. That's a great one. I like it. I vehemently disagree with it. Do you? But I believe that it's a good one. I think it's a good one. But wait. Because it's up for, I mean, you can argue it. But you just said that you vehemently disagree with it. I do. I do. But I think it's an interesting argument. We can go around about it, but I don't agree with that. I believe that there are people that have speech impediments, that it's the furthest thing from their mind. But they would want that erased. Erased. And they want to be a celebrity. Okay. They want all things considered, you know, if all the variables were even for everybody, you know, then you want to be a celebrity. Man. It's blowing my mind right now. Yeah, it is one of those things that really kind of sprains your brain. Yeah, it does.
But I know I can think of an example of someone that doesn't have anything wrong, per se, but that you go, there's no way they'd want to be a celebrity. You wouldn't think so, but deep down. You believe everybody. They want to know what it feels like. I think I'm on Woods' train of thought that only someone that is in the spotlight can think it. No, I think everybody wants it because that's why there's so many people wanting to be on reality shows. There's so many people that watch all the award shows. I was going to say, Jay's wife is very shy, but she was. She was in a commercial. She's not a shy fruit model. She's right. She's not shy. She's a hot, juicy fruit girl. You already said that. She was super hot. She is super hot. Now you're overdoing it. You know, I think you're trying to make a point to Jay. And I think you've got him. And I think he knows it, what you're doing now. He says, he's looking at you. He's going to slit your throat. I'm not looking at him. There's like a crabby old man now that lives in the woods and keeps to himself. And right now he's trying to say, I don't want to be a celebrity. But at one point, sir, you did. My dad did? Yes. He was a celebrity. You're dead. He's in The Godfather and he has a picture of it. My dad. He's proud of it.
I think L.O.B. might be on this. She just blew my mind. You just blew my mind, L.O.B. It sucks because that sucks that everybody does, but I think everybody does. You're listening right now in your car and you're going, I don't. Yeah, you do. You want to be celebrated, hence the word. You creep, you. You creep, you sex pervert. Talk to you. Yeah, we're talking to you. With the brown tie on. Do it is what I say. You're selling Aflac insurance right now. You want to be a celebrity, pal, all right? Need more. I need more. I feel like I'm not done. I was just going to ask you if we could do more. Yeah, we can. And not only that, we still haven't even done I'm Glad You Ask. Oh, yes. What a day. And so we'll do that. Jay trying to describe something to a child. It's coming up. Mikey. Seriously, dude? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. And? Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com.
More coming up on FM 94.9. Hey, I want to let you know that AT&T is doing a lot of cool stuff for you. For instance, how about the $14.95 a month for a full year? It's a whole year, one-year term. And it's locked in. It's a one-year price guarantee. You get to pocket the extra money, it's great. It's the on-the-go access to the entire AT&T National Wi-Fi Network, 24,000. So wherever you are, you get to enjoy that. I'm on the AT&T network. I was able to do some stuff with Jake yesterday in the park. And his therapist was doing some stuff with him. And I was able to work on the Wi-Fi network. It was great. So if you would like to know more, just go into one of their stores or log on. AT&T.com slash possible.
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The Padres play Game 3 of their series with the Mets, 345 Wednesday. From the remotest corners of East County to the splendor of the Silver Strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4, San Diego. Hey, I'm hearing all this talk about 4G in San Diego. So I go to Verizon and I ask the sales guy, so, 4G, huh? What's the big deal? He says, it's not just 4G, it's Verizon 4G LTE. And it's not a little faster, it's 10 times faster than the 3G smartphone you have now. I say, hmm, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, unbelievable. Then I ask, All that 4G LTE speed. Got anything that can keep up? Yeah, he says. The new revolution by LG. You can shoot and share full HD videos and multitask like never before. Now my brain's going. It's unbelievable. Verizon 4G LTE. The fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. Now with more coverage across San Diego. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon.
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This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota Owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer, has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Make an appointment with their experts. See your dealer for details. On the 15 northbound after Bernardo Center Drive, watch out, there's tire tread. It's in the slow lane. Also, the 52 westbound ramp to the 805 southbound. That left lane's blocked. It's on the transition road by a truck tire is what's blocking it. The 8 westbound ramp to the 5 southbound, an accident here. It looks like traffic is really slow as you approach, and they do have emergency crews on the scene. This report brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash guarantees the lowest rate on your title loan. Plus, you can ask about their $50 cash back offer, loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lender's Law License. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from that. On FM 94.9. An M1. M1 Sean, who actually writes for The Onion.
He's an actual writer for The Onion. And he uses our pictures and writes Onion headlines. Yeah. And it kills me. I just saw all of them. Oh, my gosh. They're hysterical. He got me real good today. Yeah, he posted a picture, an old picture of Woods dressed as Elvis, where Woods' bare chest is showing. He's wearing sunglasses. And M1 Sean's, his headline is, high school baseball star announces he will skip college, go straight to embittered alcoholism. He's got one of me in a movie theater that I took in a movie theater with 3D glasses on, and it says, teacher sees potential in student with glasses. Brilliant. Onion humor may be one of my favorite humor. Me too. Michigan has dumped, this is a real headline. Michigan's dumped 30,000 college students off of food stamps to save $75 million. Unbelievable. 75 mil. And this was weird. In Texas, there has been a massive, would you call it a drought? Yeah. No rain. No question.
It's 40 days over 100 degrees. Holy cow. Average temperature is the highest it's been in 40 years. Average temperature is 88 degrees. That includes the night. Your parents have a lake house, and the lake is, like, drying up. Yes. It's 10, 15 feet back from the seawall now. You can walk out down the, you know, down the dirt. There's a reservoir in Texas, and in the late 80s, they filled it, okay? Well, because of no rain... It's been receding and receding and receding to the point where they just found a small summit, Harry. Found it in 2009, actually, when the water level was low, but then it started to rain again and archaeologists didn't have a chance. But now that the drought's back, they have found and unearthed what they believe to be a graveyard of freed slaves. One of the creepiest stories I've seen in a long time. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Yes, sir. Well, if you missed it earlier, the big story of the day is that the NFL is going to add game day tests for performance enhancing drugs. Guy can walk into the locker room, get tested that day. Crazy. I don't want to see it, but I kind of can't wait to see who the first guy is that fails this bit.
And how much you want to bet, he'll say it was vitamins. 100%. Yeah. Supplement. Also, do you guys remember the Chiefs-Charger game in 2009 where a Chiefs fan flipped off the Charger fans? He got in trouble. He got arrested. He got beat up by the security guards. Well... Basically, a San Diego judge has come out and said, hey, he did nothing wrong. It was freedom of speech. Case is dropped against. To flip people off is freedom of speech. Yeah. Sure. Absolutely. I mean, sticks and stones. Yeah, I know, but you could start stuff. Sticks and stones, man. Yeah. I mean, you could scream a lot of gnarly stuff at those games, but the security guards used unlawful force on him, removing him from the game, and he fought back. And she said he had every right to fight back. This is what the judge said. Yeah, who doesn't get removed from the game? You did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. It's just a finger. Follow the rules. Rule follower. That's not wrong. We are. Wait. We're now at the point where we believe that flipping people off at a freaking. It's obnoxious. Yeah. But it's not. It's not wrong. It's not breaking any rules. It's the same thing as me giving you the piece of it. If I do it angrily, it's sad. No, it's not. It is. If I say I love you, it's not bad.
It's the same. I mean, I just don't see the difference. It's not that big. It's this, really. Oh, that's so powerful. Look at the power in that one finger. There is. You put your middle finger up weirdly. Well, yeah. You can do it a couple ways. You can do it like that. Okay, yeah. You can do it like that. I do. Mine's super long. All right. Yeah, I do it like that. Okay. Yeah, that's the official. You can do it. That's the official way. Yeah, you can do it this way, which is. Who made it? Well, you weren't there at the meeting? You missed one meeting. You missed one meeting. L.O.B. sees a lot of things that are brand new to her. Yeah. You know, she's never seen the finger with the index and the ring folded next to them. Right. She's never seen that flip off. Yeah. First time. She likes the traditional. She likes just one finger. Straight up. Straight up. That's your preferred method. Flip me off, L.O.B. Yeah, she does straight up. She gives the straight up bird. See, I don't like that one. Tuck it all back. Make it stick up. Straight up. Mine's like a jet fighter coming in. Anybody know why it's called a bird? Because don't... Flip the bird. Yeah, why is it called flipping the bird? It's flying through. Looks like a bird. Maybe so. It doesn't, though. It doesn't. It kind of looks like a flamingo. Actually... No? Nope. Not so much. Not at all. More of a tank.
Or a giraffe. I mean, I understand if you said giraffe, you know. Are you just throwing out animals? Yeah, she's like. Snake. Yeah, guys. It's a rhino, isn't it? Unicorn. Flip him the unicorn. Yeah, flip him the unicorn. Maybe then you make a shadow puppet. Let's do that. It's a true statement. Oh, boy. The statement is, assisted suicide should be legal. That's a true statement. Oh, wow, Jay. Agreed. Oh, my God. Yes. You agree a little bit. Oh, my God. Yeah, I saw the movie You Don't Know Jack about Jack Kevorkian. I have all kinds of reasons for it, though. Give me some. Okay, so all these clowns that are, they decide they're going to kill themselves, but the way they're going to do it is they're going to go out with a gun, and they're going to go out shooting so that the police will take them down. So, in essence, they're killing other people in order to get themselves killed. Let's just cut out the middleman. I'll kill you for free. Well, not for free, but I'll start a business. Isbellsuicides.com. And plus, at one point in your life...
At one point in your life. IsbellEuthanasia.com. No, at one point in your life, the quality of life is gone. I mean, it is just gone. You're in a shell of your body. You no longer, I mean, I could get really, somebody in my life doesn't know who she is any longer. Yeah. And she's just in a room. That doesn't mean you kill her. She wants to. But she doesn't know. Especially then, because she didn't have her right mind. But if you had the opportunity, like right now, today, you could go in and put it in your will. Hey, if at any point in my life I am no longer aware of my surroundings, I want to be taken out. I don't want to be a burden on my family. I don't want to wipe out all my savings. I'd rather my kids at that point have the money that I've saved my entire life for so they can go out and live instead of just, here's $5,000 a month for care for somebody who doesn't know where they are. Okay. I'm not going to say I disagree with you. I'm just going to ask you a couple of questions. Okay. And I want you to either answer me yes or no. Okay. Is suicide wrong? I think, boy, that's a tough question. I'm going to say no. Suicide's not wrong.
I'm going to say it's not wrong. Well, if you believe that suicide's not wrong, then there's nothing wrong with assisted suicide. Right. If you believe suicide's wrong, I would think that you have to draw the conclusion that it's wrong no matter what, whether it's assisted or not. You know, there's a lot of, you know, everybody, you know, we're all animals, allegedly, and you put other animals out of their misery. Yeah, I don't believe we're animals. Well, we're mammals. We are. I believe we're mammals. Okay, well, we're mammals. There are other mammals that get put out of their misery by people that make that judgment call. But they're not human beings. I get it. And that's why. We're not animals. That would be my argument is that we're not animals, man. We're humans. We're human beings. That's the difference between us. Well, what about freedom of choice? This big talk about freedom of choice. I should be able to make the choice. If I want assisted suicide, I should be able to have it. But why is the government telling me I can't? What is their purpose for keeping me around? The government says you can't kill yourself. Why? That's a good question. I never thought about why can't you. Because it's murder. You're murdering yourself. You're murdering yourself. But if you attempt a suicide, you don't then get arrested for attempting suicide. No, you don't. You get thrown in. Usually you get help. Right. But if you've got, at least, you know.
Kevorkian's method was they had to go see these psychologists first and make sure it wasn't just depression. He had to make sure there was some terminal quality that they had. You've got an impending death anyway, so you should be able to end it without the pain. I want you to suffer through this long bout of cancer, even though you know there's no way you're coming out the other side. I want you to suffer because that is just what we think and believe in. Give me a break. Well, you know, for me, I don't believe that suicide is okay. Yeah, I don't either. And so I don't believe that assisted suicide is okay. And I also would not like to see my family suffer. I wouldn't. Right. But I also don't believe in suicide. Question. Somebody that you love dearly is on life support. And you have to make that decision. I mean. You're in essence making that decision. And the doctor can't do it. You have to make it. We just went through my dad's living trust. We had to talk about that. We're sitting here at a table. Here it is. It's me and all my bros. I got three older brothers. We're sitting there with my dad. And we never discussed it. So they said, well, what do we do? The attorney said, he asked the question. Mr. Sparza, what do we do? What do you want your sons to do if you are incapacitated?
You know, if they pull the plug, you die. What do you want them to do? And my dad had to sit there and think about it. You know, and my dad said, well, I want you to try everything you can before you unplug me. And the attorney had to ask because it had to be in there. He said, for how long? Wow. Wow. And my dad had to make a decision. He said, two weeks. He had to make a decision. He said two weeks. Put a number on it. You had to. Holy cow, that's heavy. That's the way mine is. Mine says if three doctors say it doesn't look good for me, my plug is pulled. And you designated someone to be the... Kim couldn't be it. It's one of my buddies who has no problem. He'd pull the plug on me right now. Oh, it can't be Kim? Well, it could be. It could be, but she didn't want to be like, I can't trust her to make the right decision on it. Cause she, she would fight and fight, you know? Right. But my buddy, we've had the conversations like, Hey man, look, if these three guys say, you know, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. I just may replace all those.
I'm in this quote-unquote that you're taking. It's a wrap-up. How would you know that? Well, yeah. That's almost not fair. That's like a murder. First-degree premeditation murder. I gotta make it fair for you and fun for me. That just ain't fair or fun. 570-1949 is our number. One more and we're done. But I love it. That's so good. People that write poetry. are high maintenance, and probably like to argue. That's a true statement. Michael Esparza. Wow. Wow. I think poetry's a bit... Hold on. I can do it, by the way. You do do it. I do. Don't you? No, I did it when I was, you know, young, and I have a thing that we can't talk about until... Right, well, that was one. But you recently helped a friend write some songs.
That's poetry. Oh, I never thought of that as poetry. I thought of those lyrics. I thought it's completely different. It's not. That's music. Come on. That's a stretch. Spoken word is kind of a bit. I almost put that as one of my choices. Spoken word. I don't do it, but I respect the hell out of it. Well, yeah, you're at a freaking beatnik cafe. That's a little stupid. Why do you respect it? Poetry? Yeah. Because it's very difficult to do. And I studied it. It's antiquated. Is it? Yeah. Hickory dickory dock. Rhyme stuff, bro. No, that's not all poetry. Yeah. Moves east. Upon the plane it blows. Farther south to your brow. You alone must make the call. Freaking great. It's stupid. It's not stupid. I'll show you. You know what? I'll send you a poem later that will blow your mind. No, it will. Yeah, it will. It will. Woods, let me tell you. I am 41 years old. I have read a lot of poetry, believe it or not. And I've had many, many, many, many, many poems sent to me. I have yet to have.
My mind blown. I'll blow your mind with this one. And I'll have to be honest with you. Have an open mind. I will. And I'll have to be honest with you, which in turn will make you angry because you'll be like, whatever. Poetry doesn't blow my mind. Some of it. Maybe the older stuff, but nowadays. What do you mean the older stuff? Some of the old sonnets. Sonnets are beautiful. They're really pretty. Beautiful. Look one up for me. Look one up. Look me up a sonnet. Blow my mind. Somebody call and blow my mind. It doesn't blow my mind now, but you can appreciate them for what they were. Yeah, Dr. Seuss. Mike, can I do a reading for you? I'll do a reading for you. What, is it going to be religious? No, it's not religious. I'm not attacking your religion. You guys should get a room if you're going to send him poetry. What's poetry? You silly sausage. I'm going to get you a children's poem. No, I got a good one. Are you ready? Yes. Can I give you a backstory? Yes. Okay. I need it. Okay. This is from a guy named Dylan Thomas. Okay. Dylan Thomas wrote this story for his father who was on his deathbed. Okay. It's called Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night. This is so long. What? I'm not reading the whole thing. Ready? I'll read you the beginning. This is for his dad. Not the first time I've heard that. Not the first time I've heard that. Oh, wow. Yeah. All right, Mike. Father on his deathbed.
Close your eyes. Give me some sad music. Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rage at the close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, because their words had forked no lightning, they do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight. And learned too late, they grieved it on its way. Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight. Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. But I stunk. Acromade yourself a pair of jean shorts. Guy didn't want his old man to die. Can I give you one with... Really, dude? Really? Nothing. It made me mad. Yeah. It made me mad.
Because it was so wanting to be serious and smart. Why not just write your dad and tell him how you feel? Dear dad, don't die. Please don't die. That's moving. Maybe you should put it beautifully. He did. He put it really beautifully. Rage against the dying of the light. Don't leave me. I can't do this by myself. I need you here, dad. Bit. Rage. So when you read that. Clown. When you read that. Kill me. Kill me. Yeah, I loved it. Always loved it. Okay. We're very different. It's before people had emails and text messages. Right, and smartphones. Yeah, a way to reach people all the time. You send one letter and you make it count. It's another poem called Howl by Allen Ginsberg that I think you'd really enjoy. Let me hear a little. Look it up. Go ahead, L.O.B. Blow my mind. Mine's a little kid one. Could I get my Mr. Rogers music? Nope. Okay. Now why am I going to like it? Because it's cute and it'll always... Stick with you. He doesn't like cute. You can pass it on to your kids. He hates cute. Makes him furious. Pass it to your kids. Okay. Listen to the mustn'ts, child. What? Listen to what? The mustn'ts. What is that? Like must-nots. Mustn't. Mustn't. You mustn't do that, Mike. Mustn't. Listen to the mustn'ts. He's furious. Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossible, the won'ts. Listen to the never-haves and listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. He hates. You're a monster. Zero. He hates. It does. You don't like poetry. Nothing. Poetry. Poetry. Poetry. You don't like poetry. 570-1949. I need Bookworm to call in and get my back on. Yeah, I'm sure she will. I'm sure she will. So you don't even think that the... Go ahead, M1 Justine. Call and fillet me. Do you think any of the old stuff is good or you don't like any of it? Poetry didn't do anything for me and I've written it. I wrote one to my dad that's framed. He framed it. He thought it was so good. I'm a poet. You don't know it. No, I do know it. You just didn't know it. I'm not publishing. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM.
What's up? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Thursday night, FM 94.9's Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues this Thursday, the 11th. Steel Pulse play there on the 14th. On the 16th, Death Cab for Cutie hit Remake Arena with Frightened Rabbit. On the 19th, it's 3-11 and Sublime with Rome at Cricket Wireless. And on the 20th, Cut Chemist play House of Blues. Company of Thieves at the Belly Up on the 24th. And on the 26th, you can see Butthole Surfers at 4th and B. September 2nd, Fitz and the Tantrums play the Del Mar Racetrack. And still to come this summer, Thievery Corporation will do two nights at House of Blues September 7th. Givers at the Casbah for an About the Music show on the 11th, TV on the Radio with Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, Portugal the Man, and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Today, I'm putting a BMW 3 Series to the test on the highway. Let's see what she's got. More power than ever. Check. Hold on. Tollbooth coming up.
What's more fun than paying money just so you can keep on driving? Same's true with maintenance costs. You see, most luxury cars have to go through a toll booth of sorts with every service visit. And those tolls can cost you up to thousands. Like the poor guy in front of me. Oh, that can't be fun. But not BMW. In fact, BMW is the only one of the top three luxury makes that offers no-cost maintenance. That means no service bills, just lots of... So, stop by BMW Center today for a test drive of the original Ultimate Driving Machine. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, enjoy incredible lease and finance offers of the BMW 320i sedan. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Sunglass and Optical Warehouse, oh, they're the greatest, and you do not want to be one of these people that's driving around, trying to find a parking space at a mall, just to walk into some place, and they don't even really have much of a collection. Collection? Selection. That's why Sunglass and Optical Warehouse is so great. 7,000 pair of the latest designer stuff. Now, in the sports arena, all you do is go down...
Hancock, veer to the right. They're on Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa, La Jolla Village Square. And if you go to fm949sd.com, you can print off a 20% off coupon and get yourself all dialed in. It's pretty cool. San Diego Magazine says it's the only place that you should be going to get your sunglasses. They also do the optical part. So if you're in need of a prescription and want them in some cool frames, you want them. They got them. Go get them at Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Hey, guys. This is L.O.B., and I want to talk to you about Ovation Cell Therapy. Summer is here in San Diego. Finally, a nice summer here. And people are looking hot. This is a city with a lot of hotties. Are you one of the hotties? Do you have beautiful, shiny hair that you just let glisten in the sunlight? If you don't, you got to check out Ovation Cell Therapy. I've been using it for a couple months, and I've been flaunting it. Pretty proudly around these parts. Maybe a little too proudly, actually. Go to OvationHair.com. You're going to want to look for the Ovation Cell Therapy System that has the Color Therapy Shampoo, the Ovation Cell Therapy, and the Cream Rinse.
Ovation is a natural product that's going to nourish it. It's going to help reduce breakage, help bring out the body and shine that your hair deserves, and it's going to help you grow your hair twice as fast as before. So OvationHair.com, enter FM949 at checkout. You'll get a special introductory rate. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout. Chicken McNuggets foul. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Look, these aren't fries, Doug. These are McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. There are rules. You can't just grab them like that. Yeah, but you got 20 of them for $4.99. McNuggets rule number one. Always ask before taking one, even though, yes, the 20 piece is now just $4.99. All right, note. Taken. Two, never ever double dip. But what if I... Flip the McNugget on its other side? Yeah. Yeah, that's acceptable. Well, that's a relief. But no crossovers. Dipping into barbecue sauce after sweet and sour will result in a major penalty. So, choose your sauce wisely. The simple joy of golden, crispy deliciousness. The irresistibly tender and juicy McDonald's 20-piece Chicken McNuggets are now just $4.99 every day. Most Important Rule.
One McNugget at a time. What was that last one? Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late and way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego are now open 24 hours. So drive through anytime. Participation varies. Stevie. Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet, I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 ES350 for $3.99 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 ES350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid in Lexus Western areas only and end September 6th, 2011. I'm Annie Batista. This is my story. Some of the older guys in our unit said their first time out was even tougher than they imagined. Dig in, they said.
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Looks like the 78 westbound at the 5, an accident here. That left lane's blocked. A couple cars involved there. Tire tread still blocking the 15 northbound after Bernardo Center Drive. It's in the slow lane, and you have some issues here on the 52 westbound ramp to the 805 southbound. That left lane's blocked. You do have a backup to the 15. Look out for a truck tire. It's on the transition road. This report also brought to you by Nissan Bottom Line Sales Event. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan's laying it all on the line. The Bottom Line Sales Event. It's going on now. Tremendous selection. Great offers. Bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or your local Nissan dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Don't lie to me, do you lie to girls? You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. The movie 30 Minutes or Less comes out on Friday. And because of that, Sony is buying an entire half-hour segment of The Mikey Show tomorrow. That means we're commercial-free tomorrow from 7 to 7.55 on The Mikey Show. I'm going to hear from you. M1 Paul.
from La Jolla is on the line. Are you there, Paul? Yes, sir. You are a street poet. Very true. All right. And you're going to blow my mind. Well, let's just say I'll give it a whirl. Okay. All right. My pen name is Pablito. All right. P-A-B-L-I-T-O. Okay. Okay, but, you know, this is where it goes. Off you go. Mermaid with an Irish tint. There was an old shanty town where fairs used to gather. And they shared their Please stop. You like that? I loved it. No, not even a little bit. First of all, you could take the Irish accent out of it, and even if you did, I'd say didn't understand a word of it. I've heard that. People have said that. It's good. You could take the Irish accent out of it. I don't get what you're talking about. I've made money with my poetry, so I consider myself a professional poet. You probably are. Your name's Paul, and then you have a Spanish stage name of Pablito, and then you speak with an Irish actor.
What's up with that? My grandmother, Downey, was her last name on my father's side. Dude, you're a pro. Read that to me. Not only did it not blow my mind, I didn't understand it. Do you know any Edgar Allan Poe? Oh, he's good. Quoth the Raven. Quoth the Raven. Quoth the Raven. Nevermore. Of course. What upon a midnight drear while I pondered, we can wait over many a volume of quaint and forgotten lore. How about Bobby Frost? How about Bobby Gitt? How about Bobby Gitt? Two roads diverge in a wood. I took the one less traveled. That's what you did, pal. Thank you. You should be in on it. Thank you very much for the call. Okay. Boring. Oh, boy. This from a guy that can read a Greek Orthodox translated Bible and be all the way in. Like, you would be all the way in. Well, yeah, because to me, that's God writing it. That's pretty rad. It's kind of a story. Hey, I'm going to blow your mind. All right. You know what the ultimate poet is? What? G-O-D. How is God the ultimate poet? He wrote the most powerful book and spoke the most powerful words that have ever been spoken. Isn't that prose, though? Some of it. Some of it. I don't know if there's a lot of rhyming, but poetry doesn't have to rhyme. When you translate it, though, from Hebrew to English, it doesn't sound like poetry anymore. Sometimes it does. Some sections do. But here's the deal. You have it in your head. You're in the paradigm that...
Poetry just rhymes. No, I don't. You said hickory, hickory. Dude, I'm not that. I almost said something bad. That was a joke. Okay. Like, I'm not a dumb guy. No, I'm not saying that you are. Maybe you just don't understand it. Wow. To me, it's antiquated. Yes. Do you guys know what antiquated means? Yeah. Old. Old. Outdated. Outdated. No longer relevant to this time. I'll say that for sure. But the older stuff, I can appreciate it for what it is, but new stuff now, it's like... Although I will say that I do like Your Arms Are Heavy, Knees Weak, There's Vomit on a Sweater Already, Mom's Spaghetti. I do like that. It's poetry. It's because it's got some sort of a melody to it. Maybe. But it's a song. If you just heard a guy on the street side saying that, you'd go... You're a clown. You would. If you heard some guy on the street. I don't know, man. Rap, like when I hear the words, you know, minus the curse words, to a song like New York, what's the Jay-Z? Empire State of Mind. Empire State of Mind. That's pretty cool. But what if he just said it? Yeah, right. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. When I hear the words, I think it's pretty cool. I do. In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do. I'd say clown.
Now you're in New York. Now you're in New York. M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Hi, guys. How are you? Good. Good. So I've talked to you guys a ton of times. I don't know if I've ever shared the fact that I'm an English teacher. Yes. Oh, really? Yes, I am. Yeah. And so, Mikey, my point you just kind of hit on is that poetry is just musical lyrics. So you love music. I know that. And so you already love poetry, even though you think you don't. Yep. That's what we're saying. My high school poetry teacher actually made us, like, break down songs because she knew we weren't going to be in on, you know, sonnets and stuff. You know the song Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner by Iron Maiden? We did that in senior English. We broke it down. It's based on a poem. Led Zeppelin, a lot of poetry. Oh, lots. There's a lady who's sure all the glitters is gold, okay, and she's buying a stairway to heaven. It's got to have Jimmy Page's guitar behind you. On a horse with no name.
You guys want to have Jay describe some things to us? This segment is called, I'm glad you asked. Some would call it, I'm glad you asked. Double shirt shimmy. Shimmying like crazy. So what we do is, I'm going to reach in and pull out a question for Jay. and Jay has to pretend that he is describing it to three kids, me, Woods, and L.O.B. I don't have to pretend very hard. It's true. Pretend hard? Because the deal with Jay is that sometimes he has a hard time articulating himself. He knows in his head what the deal is, but when he has to actually articulate it, sometimes there's a breakdown. My gosh, this is great. Jay? Yes? What is a cloud? I'm glad you asked. A cloud is... Let me see. How can I explain this to you? He is nervous. When the sun heats the earth, the moisture from the earth rises up and creates moisture. Moisture is water when it gets hot. Like my bath? So hot water, yeah. Like the steam from your hot bath. So wait. Like the steam from your hot bath. Why aren't there clouds over my bath?
Because they reform in the sky. They don't reform in your bathroom. So they can't be in a bathroom, but they can be in a sky. That's right. So when water turns to steam, as an example, it forms a cloud in the sky. So when you and mom take a shower together, that's a cloud? You're forming clouds. That's daddy making clouds. Oh, wow, daddy. That's really creepy. I don't like clouds anymore. I don't want any clouds. Why are you and mommy so loud when you make clouds? Mommy really loves clouds. Cumulus. That's thunder you're hearing. Moisture. Lightning bolt. It is. All right, Uncle Jay. Yeah. Uh-oh. It's never good. It's never good. Uncle Jay, what is a transvestite? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I heard it at school. Well, some men. What's some men? What is some men? Some men. Some men. When they get older. Uh-huh. Like you, Dad? Decide that they like to play dress up. Like you, Dad? And they like to play dress up as a woman. They do? Yeah. Why?
Because for them, it's fun. It makes them feel good on the inside. So I can dress up as a woman? Well, I wouldn't recommend it for you. What about Grandpa? Does he dress as a woman? Grandpa has dressed as a woman a few times. That's a transvestite? He has a brownie outfit that he likes to wear around. But Uncle Jay, why do they want to dress like a woman? They're men. They're men. Don't they dress like a man? Everybody likes to play dress up at some point. Do you play dress up? Oh, Mommy and Daddy play dress up all the time. Hey, Daddy, my skin's crawling. So you have Halloween. It's like Halloween. It's like Halloween, but Mommy and Daddy play late at night sometimes. So transvestites go trick-or-treating? They can. You and mommy are transvestites. They do a lot of trick. Only at night, though. You guys are transvestites. You're nighttime transvestites. I'm going to tell my teachers that my parents are transvestites. My daddy's a transvestite. No, one more. Daddy, how is cheese made? I'm glad you asked. First, daddy has to go out and you milk a cow. Milk comes from a cow.
You knew that, right? Yeah, I did. So once you milk the cow, you churn. What is churn? What is churn? Churn, it's the way that they process. What's process? What is process, Dad? Well, basically, they take the milk and they shake it up real good. They take it and they shake it up, shake it up, shake it up. Like this, if I shake my milk carton, I'll make cheese. And you'd take a long time. You'd really have to shake it long and hard. Daddy doesn't know how cheese is made. Daddy has no clue how cheese is made. Daddy, are you shaking milk? And then you put it in a cave. When you're sitting in front of your computer late at night, are you making cheese? When you say you have to poop, are you really making cheese? Daddy, when mommy goes to visit her sister, my aunt. Daddy's making cheese. It's like a dairy farm. When you take mommy's catalogs, are you making cheese? Daddy doesn't need to do that anymore. Daddy has no clue how to make cheese. No, he doesn't. Zero. I wonder who the first person to make cheese was. Who thought of that? I don't know. That'd be a good topic. It's a topic idea I had one time, and I've never lived it down. That is not why I put that in there, by the way. No, Mike.
On our friendship. I wanted to see if he knew. He does not. Clearly, I don't. I think you churn it somehow. How do you make cheese, by the way? Fermented milk? Yeah. It has to spoil. But it takes more than that. It's got to curdle. Then you skim it off. It's filthy. Listen to this. This is pretty good. I love that game so much. I do, too. So at a recent computer expo, Bill Gates got up. Thought he was going to be very clever. And now, before everybody freaks out, it's not just because this is about PCs and Windows. I know I'm an Apple guy. I'm a Mac guy. I just thought this was pretty funny. At a recent computer expo, it's called Comdex. Bill Gates gets up and compares the computer industry with the auto industry. Here's what he said. He said, if Ford had kept up with the technology like we did in the computer industry, we'd all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon. Well, I guess that kind of ticked off representatives at Ford Motor Company. And so they responded to his comments by releasing this press release. It said, if Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we'd all be driving cars with the following characteristics.
Number one, for no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. Holy cow. Number two, every time they repainted lines in the road, you'd have to buy a new car. Number three, occasionally your car would die on the freeway for absolutely no reason. You'd have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows. Shut off the car, restart it. And reopen the windows before you could continue. And for some reason, you would simply accept this. Number four. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to start. In which case, you would have to reinstall the engine. Number five. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun was reliable five times as fast.
And twice as easy to drive. But would run on only 5% of the roads. So they're saying the Mac stuff doesn't run with everything. That's their beef with Mac. He said, and again, this is what the auto industry would be like. He's responding to Bill Gates. This is what the auto industry would be like if it was like computers. He said, the oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights. would all be replaced by a single, this car has performed an illegal operation warning light. Oh my gosh, I hate that. That's the worst. How about this one? The airbag system would ask, are you sure? Before deploying. Oh, wow. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. Number nine, every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. Wow. And lastly, you'd have to press the start button to turn the engine off. Hmm. Again, this is in response to Bill Gates saying that if Ford had kept up with the technology like the computer industry had.
We'd be driving $25 cars to get 1,000 miles to a gallon. And it's true. There is no more of a beating than computers. No. I have a question for you. Yeah. Do you ever get the spinning wheel of death on your Mac? The rainbow wheel. I know what you're talking about. Not often. Okay. Not often. There's nothing you can do, right? You wait it out. No. There's something you can do. What? It's the equivalent of Control-Alt-Delete. Okay. But with a Mac. It's command, option, escape in that order. Shut up. Yes, it's called force quit. Command, option, escape. All at the same time? Nope, in that order. Command, option, escape. Watch. Look at you. You're a brilliant, brilliant. Command, option, escape. Now it'll let me pick what I want to force quit. Did you know that, LB? Yeah, but sometimes it won't even allow the... I've never had it not allow you to force quit.
I've had it. Every time I get that rainbow wheel, I just turn my computer off. I think it means that your computer lives an alternative lifestyle. Yeah, it means the LLB is looking at pornography. Yeah. And she gets these little rainbows that come up and they say, listen, stop looking at all the dirty stuff. That's fair enough. And it won't let her force quit. Yes. It's weird that I get it. It's very strange that I would get that spinning wheel. No, I mean, I think you can. I mean, I think it can happen. It happens a lot when I'm doing news stories from certain places in the morning. When I'm trying, like, I had to do it this morning. I had to just shut it off and restart it. Trying to block all the bad things that are trying to come through. Could be. It's not. No, it is. It is. No, I'm not saying you're a pervert. I'm just saying. Aren't you? No, no, no. To her defense, we're saying you're a pervert. I mean, you're a pervert, but that goes without saying. What I'm trying to say is there's a lot of, like. Spyware and all that junk. Trying to get through. Trying to be like, no, no. I bet that's right. Yeah. Because the Macs don't get viruses. No. It's been great. I've had it for two years or a year and a half. It's the greatest money I ever spent besides my eyes. Woodsy, would you go back to the... Not for a free one. Not for five free ones. Not, you know, one of our listeners, M1 Cave Dweller.
Smart guy. He goes, I'll build you one and blow your mind. I don't want it. I don't want it. I have something that I freaking adore. But don't you guys miss this sound? Just hearing it makes me sick. Makes me nauseous. I'm telling you, it took me forever. Me too. Radio guy, a legend, man. Been on the air here forever. Friend of mine, Chris Cantore. He told me to get a Mac. Years ago. And I was like, no, no, no. And he's like, dude, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. And I forever. It took forever. Finally, Apple came and said, listen, we want to buy some advertising and we will give you a MacBook. And even then I was like, I don't I don't I have a I have a gate.
Way. I'm good. I got a bio. I got the box with the cow print. Yeah, I got the cow box. I got a bio. I'm good. I love the commercials with the Dell guy. Yeah. Oh, my God. Dude, you're getting a Dell. Dude, I got a Dell. Dude, I got a Dell. Okay. He's got one. I got one. I don't need. And from the first time, man, I was like, oh, wow. I always thought it was a stuck up thing. Yeah. I always thought that Mac was the people that were in the coffee shop. With glasses on. Berets. Yeah, listening to old Elvis Costello demos. Oh, yeah, Bob Dylan's first album. Yeah, and like, I thought it was fancy and confusing. Yes. And like, oh, I'm not into that. At first it was, though, honestly. That's what I heard. I heard that way, way back. Way back. I got one. I had the first one. I didn't have, this was one of the first generation ones, and I got it, and it didn't have any Microsoft Word. It had like crazy programs, and none of it. You couldn't make it crosstalk. None of it could be sent back and forth between the two. So if you did it at home and then wanted to email, I can't even email, put it on a disc and bring it to work, you were screwed. So I had one. I was like, get rid of this piece. It ain't like that anymore. No, no, man. You know, Mike asked me to buy one and we went to your house and I unwrapped it sitting cross-legged in your office and I opened it up and I was like, little movie comes on for you. No one took longer than my wife, Rebecca.
And the reason that she took so long is because she used Microsoft Outlook. And Mac didn't have it. In fact, they just came out with it. I've used the Outlook for years. Dude, she lives her life on Outlook. Really? Lives her life on Outlook. And she would not do it. Finally, we found some weird way that would turn her Mac. on one side into a pc oh my gosh and so just for outlook she would have to switch over on her mac just so she could use outlook she loved the outlook loved it so much and now they have outlook for mac and she absolutely she'd never go back to use dude the numbers don't lie i mean look at the stock look at the company look at the the technology it doesn't lie i just read that uh apple corporation has more money than the United States. So, I mean, it doesn't lie. Numbers don't lie. When we come back.
We'll do a little why are we here. Stick around. The past, maybe I'm not able. And the most exciting thing to happen. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. How can the real estate market change your life?
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I mean, if you get into an accident, which is likely if there's 25% of people that are not insured, you don't want to be paying a lot for that insurance. And so I urge you to call AIS, the company that I've been with for about a decade now, and love them. Speaking of never going back, I'd never not use AIS. I just wouldn't. 1-800-777-4247. Hey, I'm hearing all this talk about 4G in San Diego. So I go to Verizon and I ask the sales guy, so, 4G, huh? What's the big deal? He says, it's not just 4G, it's Verizon 4G LTE. And it's not a little faster, it's 10 times faster than the 3G smartphone you have now. I say, hmm, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, unbelievable. Then I ask, all that 4G LTE speed, got anything that can keep up? Yeah, he says, the new revolution by LG. You can shoot and share full HD videos and multitask like never before. Now my brain's going. It's unbelievable. Verizon 4G LTE, the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. Now with more coverage across San Diego. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646.
Verizon. Activation, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4GLTE. The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita and experience a taste so smooth it shatters expectations. This is Radio Burger King, the sound of value and flavor. You know that just a little bit hungry feeling, don't you? Sure you do. That's why Burger King is introducing the mini meal for just $2.99. That's two flavor-packed BK minis, value fries, and flavor. and a value drink for $2.99. You can even choose between chicken and beef. Just because you don't want a huge meal doesn't mean you'll settle for less flavor. Where's the value in that? So go to Burger King now. This is Radio BK. Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. We can't rob a bank in 30 minutes, but we can give you more music with no commercials. Tune in tonight at 7 p.m. for our 30-minute music block. Brought to you by 30 Minutes or Less in theaters this Friday.
Go to Jack in the Box and try Jack's new jumbo breakfast platter. Eight mini pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash brown sticks, and bacon or sausage, all for $2.99 plus tax at participating restaurants. This report is brought to you by the County of San Diego Vector Control Program. Fight the bite. Report green swimming pools that may be breeding mosquitoes to Estee County Vector Control. The number is 858-694-2888. Looks like La Mesa is tied up here on the eastbound at El Cajon Boulevard because the traffic lights aren't working right. It's at the end of that El Cajon off-ramp. Just treat it like a four-way stop and then get right through there. On the 94 westbound at the 805, there's an accident, a couple cars. They've got the number three lane blocked. Van tying things up on the 94 westbound right after Euclid Avenue. It's blocking that right lane. This report also brought to you by Nissan Bottom Line Sales Event. It's the end of the model year. Nissan's laying it all on the line. The Bottom Line Sales Event, it's going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or your local Nissan dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. BZT San Diego.
Good financial media station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. In the studio with us right now. Let's see. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. A couple of things. Apparently, they are now linking ED. to women's friendships with males. What? Yeah, there's a link between erectile dysfunction in heterosexual men and strong relationships between their partners and their male friends. Huh. Isn't that weird? That seems crazy. Yeah, that's what it says. They did this study at Cornell, and it was a professor of sociology. How long were you in that study, Woods? Did they have to ask you a lot of questions?
You are setting yourself up, my friend. My friend, I've never had erectile dysfunction in my entire life. But Woods has seen you pee on a golf course, and just the act of seeing you do that showed ED. Yes. Unraveling. That unraveled you? It would unravel. Anybody. A blind person. If you saw what I saw. I didn't even see it. I just heard it described. Most people don't look, which is... Don't they? Yeah, we don't. When you see a train wreck, you look. Of course. Especially if you see one on a golf course at the ninth hole. And you stare. Really? You can't help it. Really? Really. You can't help it look? No. It's a train wreck. It would be like... You can't help it look at this, baby. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He zipped his pants down. Holy crap. He literally unzipped his pants down. I thought he was going to hang Brian for a second. Holy cow. Two of San Diego's most wanted have been captured. Yes. These couple of fugitives were in the Union Tribune weekly feature for San Diego's most wanted. You look like nice guys. Oh, L.O.B., let me tell you. They put their pictures in the paper. It was just these photographs are terrifying. I'll pass them around the room. Brent Beasley. Ah, Beasley. And Jerry McCleary.
Mike, describe his neck tattoo for our listeners if you could. Holy cow. Jerry McCleary. First of all, when he went into the tattoo shop, I'm surprised the tattoo guy was like, I can't do that. He has on his neck. I bet he got the tattoo in prison. On his neck is a swastika with banners that come out that read pure hate. Wow. It is one of the most frightening looking guys. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Oh, I feel sorry for him because I think to myself, what the heck must have happened to this guy? What went wrong, man? What went wrong? Something mean to you? I mean, real mean. Super mean. What would my dad do if I brought that guy home? Oh. Hey, Dad, this is my new boyfriend, Jerry. Don't mind the swastika with the words pure hate on his neck. He went through a phase. He went through a phase, but he's outgrown it.
That really nice guy. Pure love, actually. Yeah. Yeah, he's going to have it changed to pure love. Oh, man. He's got a history of violence, burglary, and auto theft. Imagine meeting that SOB in a dark alley. No. I would just give him my ATM card and say, here's the pin. Have fun. Knock yourself out. Have a bowl. I'm not going to tell anybody. Just go do your thing. Cover your eyes. It's two pages of two fugitives. Two of the scariest looking dudes ever. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the strength of San Diego Padres this year has been their bullpen. It has failed them again. Failed them last night against the Mets. They failed to hold the lead in the eighth inning. In the eighth inning, two-run deficit the Mets came back from. They beat the Padres 5-4. Pods get another chance tonight, 4-10 p.m. against the Mets. It's R.A. Dickey against Aaron Harang. And tomorrow night. You will see your San Diego Chargers take on the Seattle Seahawks. It will be the Blackhawks been lifted. So, hey, it's Charger football time. We're ready to go. Let's make it happen. Let's see. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. That is what makes you an M1. Let's see. All right. It's time to play Why Are We Here?
The way that we do this is, I will reach, I have a few different sound effects here. And first, I am going to reach into the people. We will draw two character names, okay? And then I'm going to give you the location that they're at. And they just have to tell us, why are we here? The first name, and these are all characters that we do on the Mikey Show. The first name is Nancy Grace. Yes. And the second name is Justin Bieber. And Justin Bieber and Nancy Grace are going to be at, they're going to be in a jungle. I can't look at you. Are you ready? Excuse me. Yo, what's up, girl? Young lady. How you doing? I am TV's Nancy Grace. I ain't no lady. Yo, what's up? Don't you see this? You look lovely. Do you have a boyfriend?
I got a girlfriend named Selena Gomez. Oh, is she Spanish? Yeah. Oh, very nice. Are you white? Yeah, I'll be white. Oh, good for you. What do your parents think about that? My mom's is cool. Okay. She looks a little like you. Oh, very nice. Sexy as hell. Well, what do you think about this old jungle here? I love it, man. It's hot. I'll be sweating. Man, I love it, man. I hear some young people go on diets to sweat it out. I don't even know what the hell you're talking about, girl. I got no idea. You mean to tell me you've never seen my special on sweating it out in a courtroom? I ain't even never heard of it. I don't watch TV, girl. Have you ever even heard of a courtroom? Yeah, I know what a courtroom be, but I be on tour. I don't have time to watch TV. Excuse me. What is it? Excuse me. Excuse me. What is it, tur? I said it's I'm on tour, like when I be performing in concerts. Is that a new spangled drug? No, man, that's Salvia, man. That's what we like. We like Salvia because it'd be legal. Very confused. That is Nancy Grace and Justin Bieber, ladies and gentlemen, staring into each other's eyes. Oh, my gosh. In a jungle. Did that ever happen? No. Never. Justin Bieber.
By the way, is apparently like one of, he's being considered like the new Hollywood brat. Apparently he's a brat. Wow. I thought he was like great and you loved it and you were all the way in on the movie because he was such a good kid. What was he like in the movie? Yeah, in the movie. Yeah, explain because I haven't seen the movie because I'm not a preteen. So I, LLB, haven't seen it. No, I haven't seen it. It's surprising because most women have. Did you get that poster framed and hung on your wall? No, Jay. I have not gotten the poster framed and hung on my wall. How many days is the bidding left on eBay for that hat you're trying to get? Justin Bieber hat. The concert sure looks good on you, though. In the documentary that I recently saw about Justin Bieber, he was a really nice kid. Now, were you abducted by people that made you watch this movie? No. Did the fan club send you the copy of the documentary as like a welcome to the Justin Bieber fan club? It's like a screener. Like you're on the radio. Did you get a screener? I didn't.
I can get through this, man. This is hard. This is hard to do. I'm trying to weather this storm. Your kids wanted to watch it. That seems weird. Your kid, Jake, likes music. So maybe he wanted to watch it. Was Jake there? Did he see it with you? Two and four. Well, you know, if you guys could expand your minds, maybe you guys would watch. No. Maybe you guys would watch the movie. If my wiener got cut off, maybe I would watch the movie. Anyone here seen the movie? Never say never. The Justin Bieber movie. All the ladies raising their hand. All the ladies but one. All the single ladies. Oh, this guy over here, too. You saw it? You guys aren't married, right? Come to the microphone. Come to the microphone. Come to the microphone. Wow. Now, first of all, I'm going to ask Woods, L-O-B, and Jay to remain quiet. Okay. Don't hurt this gentleman. He's in the safe tree. I need a crack at him, though. He's in the safe tree. Fine. But right now, he's in the safe tree. What is your name? My name's Mark. How old are you? 28. When did you see it? A few months ago. And did you see it with the young lady that you're with? I did. And did you both enjoy it? We did. Okay. What did you like about the film? It just shows how talented he is. I'm not a fan of his music. Thank you. Aren't you? He's not. He's just a talented guy. I said, Jay, I said to be quiet.
Now that's a feeling I had. What do I know from Justin Bieber? I don't know anything about Bieber. All I know is, is that the movie was widely talked about and Anthony Kiedis, the singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, said he saw it on a flight, transcontinental flight, and it made him sob. And so I thought, well, what's the hubbub, bub? Something's going on here. I got to see it. Watched it, thought it was very interesting. What I didn't know was that this kid Bieber was really talented. Didn't know that. I thought that he was just like, you know, all the rest of the Backstreet Boys and the new kids on the block and blah, blah, blah. But it turns out he's a real talented kid. Musician, played the drums. Shocked me. You know, he was a real good drummer. Looked like he could have been a rock drummer in a rock band had he chosen that path. But he got kind of... streamlined into pop music. You're crazy. You can't say that the Backstreet Boys weren't talented. They all have talent as well. They all rose to the top of their game at that time. If they did a documentary on that, you'd love it as well. Here's the thing. Perhaps that could be true, but the thing is that he's more talented, I think, as a musician than he is as a singer.
Very talented people in the music industry think that he's a talented singer. You know, this is not my opinion. I have a theory. Go ahead. I have a theory as to why this gentleman watched it. Go ahead. His girlfriend wanted to see it, and he wanted to make sex to his girlfriend, so he thought that, hey, I'm going to have to watch this freaking movie about Justin Bieber, and I will. Yeah. Because I want to make sex to her. It's Bieber. It's not Bieber. You said Bieber. You said Bieber. It's not. It's not Justin Bieber. Isn't it? It's Justin Bieber. Sorry. It's Justin Bieber. But listen. That's my theory, and I think it has credence. And I think it holds water. I did have beaver fever, not Bieber fever. Fair enough. Here's the thing. I believe this. I believe that if Woods watched it, he'd find it interesting. There's a 0% chance. There's a 0% chance. Maybe, but we'll never know. Fair enough. Well, I mean, if you want to be closed-minded. Fine. Call me whatever you want. All right. Question for you. Yes. In concert, does he do choreographed dances?
Yep. I'm out. I know. That's it. That's the only reason I need. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. And I don't blame you. I mean, listen, it's all 14-year-old girls in that stadium. And you. No, like I said, I'm not buying, I'm not purchasing the music. I'm not going to the concerts. I'm not. Yet. I thought it was a great documentary. Hey, listen, I've seen documentaries on a lot of things that I don't then get into the product. I'm not in the product. That's fair enough. If he joined a band, would you then? I'm not. I'm not. But what if he was a drummer in that band? You're very impressed with his drumming. You can't stop talking about his drumming. He's Dave Grohl to you. He was good. He's Neil Peart. He was really, really good. At two years old, anybody that's holding the beat is good. They showed him now, on stage, now, and he went and he got the drummer sticks, sat down, and was like a tactician. That's good to see. It was a trip. It kind of surprised me. But this guy over here, we know why he watched. Look how cute she is. She's a doll. He's like, excuse me, that's my sister. Let's see. Here's the thing, and here's what they're saying. Apparently, Bieber is ruining his reputation.
He's got a whole empire that he's built on being a squeaky clean kid. But apparently behind the scenes, he's one of Hollywood's biggest brats. Weird. So he's a bad beaver. Yes. He's a bad beaver. Good one, Jay. You know, like that old... Hackneyed phrase, you bad beaver. You're such a bad beaver, Mikey. Or like the opposite of that phrase, he's such a good beaver. He's such a good beaver. Any excuse to play that clip? Which I'm fine with. Leave it to beaver. Apparently he was on a flight from L.A. to Asia. Taking the old log to the beaver. He's sniggling before he plays him now. You hear... He just giggled right now about a drop he's going to play Friday. He's so excited. Apparently he's on this flight from L.A. to Asia and refused to cooperate with flight staff when they asked him to take a seat in preparation for takeoff. Wow. He's a little diva already. Weird. He gave the staff a hard time the whole flight. And at the end of the flight, the captain introduced himself.
And asked for an autograph and Bieber rudely refused. Wow. Which, by the way, is rude and obnoxious of the captain. Whoa. You. Mike. Come on. I took you safely from A to B. Yeah. My daughter wants this. Yeah, my daughter likes you. She loves Ellen. He does look like Ellen. He does look like Ellen. Same haircut. Why was that rude of the captain? It wasn't rude. It was inappropriate. What? If it's Brad Pitt, isn't it inappropriate to be like, hey, can I get your autograph? It's a professional exchange. I did you a service. You do me a service. Well, then you could say that about any place Brad Pitt walks into. That's right. A waitress. Might as well ask. What an inconvenience. Yeah, sign your name. Oh my gosh. I need to take two seconds to sign my name. Are you kidding me? No, not if you're walking through the mall, but if you go into a business, I don't really think that the business is supposed to be doing that, right? I don't know. You've never gotten an autograph. I have.
It's not inappropriate. I asked Red Fox for an autograph when I was 12. You've gotten more since then. Well, you also creeped outside his door for three hours. He was forced to give me an autograph. You autograph raped him. Yeah, I did. I don't mind if people ask me. I never mind. No, I never do. I love it. It's great. In fact, I think it's really cool and I'm like, oh, cool. My 15 minutes gets to continue. Tick tock, tick tock. However... I can see where they would say to people, oh, you shouldn't ask our patrons for autographs. The captain doesn't bother me. Captain's a hard ass. He's the guy steering the plane. I think that's like, I think that's cool. I wouldn't mind the flight attendant. No, hell no. I think Beavers should have been like, all right, yeah, you got it, buddy. Thanks for getting me here safely. Yeah. Pictures are another deal. You know, if like he was trying to leave to hurry up for a flight and they were like, hold on. Hey, Susie, get in this picture too. Well, now you're drawing the line between autographs and pictures. Well, it's a quick problem. Let me sign your name. If it's a quick picture, too. Quick pic. Do it all. It's a big deal. I think that women would not want their pictures taken. That's what it comes down to. I have a question for you, Mike. What? Do you think this kid's going to be relevant in two years? Probably not. Probably not.
Probably not. I think so, too. I think he's got about a two-year window. I don't know. Justin Timberlake. Yeah, if he extends into some acting and stuff and he's decent at it. No, he's terrible. We've seen him. Yeah, we saw him. He was awful. He's in CSI. He was awful. Oh, yeah. Yeah, 911. Terrible. Terrible. That was awful. Horrible. But honestly, in the movie, they make him very likable. He appears to be very likable in regular situations. Right. Well, it's weird. It's his movie. So, I mean, they're not going to show him being a little diva. I would love to see some video of him being a little diva. I bet it's pretty messed up. There's a repairman that's been charged with swallowing a diamond ring. So he sees the diamond ring, takes the opportunity to swallow it. He's going to poop it later. And it's worth a lot of money. And they caught him. Did an x-ray of his stomach, and there's a ring right there in dude's stomach. Wow. And he's in trouble. That would hurt. Yeah, it would. Going down and coming out, it would hurt. Yes. What do they call the little deals that it sits in? Those little... Ring holders? Spines? Of the setting? Oh. The tines. Baguettes. Baguette. Tine. Yeah. The tines, maybe. Prongs. The hoofs. The hoof. They had to put him in a room.
And lock him up and give him a laxative to wait for it to come out. Oh, boy. Whose job is that? They put him in a room just where he was locked off, and they just waited. Yeah. And waited. Can you imagine just sitting there with the dude? Hey, Wilfredo. Hello? That should be part of his punishment. He should have to go through it himself. Yeah. In Chandler, Arizona, Joshua Cito, he's 27 years old, and his fiancée, Kara Christopher. They walk over to Fry's food store. They want to get something to eat. And he tries to secure her pink handgun in the front of his waistband, his pants. The gun fired and it struck Joshua Cito's penis and continued through his left thigh. And it started to bleed heavily.
And according to police dispatch recordings that were released Sunday, he was still conscious. There's a lot of blood. And he told 911 operators what had happened. And they said to apply, quote, direct pressure. That's the way I like it. When you shoot your wiener? Just direct pressure. With a dry towel or T-shirt, but to avoid looking at it, they said. Just get a female to help you. Oh, dude. You think that would hurt? He said, I did look at it, and it's, quote, pretty bad. He's a man of few words, Joshua, these days. He was probably about to pass out. He shot his wiener. Is there anything more painful? Testes. Testes or, yeah, testes would be worse, right? Testes or the other? Testes or the top? The hoof. Yeah, what would be worse? Testes or the top?
The top. The top. I think the top would be worse. Yeah, I think the top. I think the top would be worse. Good to know. No, you're right. I think they would. Because how are you going to do your thing? Right. Your business. But boy, those testes hurt. When Jay smacks mine, son of a... Come on, those things hurt. What about if you were just going to take a slice? What would hurt? Oh, a slice. Oh, a slice? What? With like a razor blade? Yeah, or like the sharp end of a knife. Hey, hey. Yeah, L.O.B. doesn't realize. No. No, she doesn't know. She doesn't realize it. You're not supposed to even suggest it, you know, because it hurts to think about. In your head, it hurts to think when you think about it. But if I wanted to threaten someone with something that was really going to hurt. That would be it. Yeah. The top. Yeah. Oh, yeah. If you slice the garlic, you know. Yeah, yeah. Slice it up real thin. Yep. That would hurt. Okay. Off the top. Like a paper cut, maybe? All right. Stop. Stop. Cheese grater. What about like an emery board for filing your nails? That's not even, no. I've always thought that, you know, the boys, it's almost as if there's something that goes directly from the boys right to the brain. Well, it goes to the stomach first, then maybe, you know, it goes brain, then stomach. There is a short circuit there. Oh, yeah. Same thing that's in a guy's chin. You know, when they get punched and they get knocked out.
It's like there's a short circuit that goes and just powers you down. It's like a PC computer. That's right. That's right, my friend. Let's make some noise. We've got Mikey Show Live in the studio right now. Woodsy's going to love this. Woodsy does not like Sheriff Joe Arpaio. He's the sheriff in Arizona that makes the convicts wear pink jumpsuits. He's a sadist, not sheriff. He's a sadist from Arizona. Well, you're going to love this story because he's in trouble. Weird. It's next. Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. So. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Biden. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And. Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9.
Morning, Joe. Morning, Miss Thompson. One of these days, it's going to happen. Somebody's going to try to talk you out of boar's head. Joe, I'd like a half pound of that boar's head turkey. I got something for you, Mrs. T. It's a new turkey on special. It's not boar's head, Joe. Well, they tell me it's kind of like boar's head. It's not boar's head, Joe. It's almost boar's head. It's not boar's head. Do it for me, huh? What do you say? What do I say? It's not boar's head. Yeah, I know. So I take it this boar's head is what you want, huh? That's what I like about you, Joe. You catch on quick. Everyone knows Boar's Head Oven Gold is the best turkey in America, but to get it, sometimes you have to insist. Ask them to show you the Boar's Head branded on the turkey itself. In other words, demand the brand. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. It's no secret that when you start with something better, you get something better. It's why some of the sweetest peaches come from sunny Georgia.
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Take a step forward and chase what matters. E. Morgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Deep does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. One-inch binder, just 50 cents. Three-pack paper-made erasers, just 50 cents. Pourable glue, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 8-13. Binders and erasers limit three, glue limit five. This is Radio Burger King, the sound of value and flavor. You know that just-a-little-bit-hungry feeling, don't you? Sure you do. That's why Burger King is introducing the mini-meal for just $2.99.
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Hey, this is Jay from the Mikey Show. Join me today at the Prospect Bar in La Jolla from 5 to 6 p.m. Come down and challenge me in our Most Interesting Challenges competition. You can come down, you can win Death Cab for Cutie tickets, Steel Pulse, See You at House of Blues tickets, VIP tickets to Motley Crue, a gift card from Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. It's all today at the Prospect Bar in La Jolla from 5 to 6 p.m. If you need more details, go to FM949SD.com. Sorry to be the one, I have to tell you. Oh my god! And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40, it's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up. So, during the break, L.O.B. very kindly passed out some of her baking. Her baked goods. Delicacies, pastries. Yeah, even the Vietnamese who eat thousand-year-old duck eggs would go, I'm not eating that. I saw an Ethiopian guy and he wouldn't eat it. He didn't want any part of it. They're like croissants. They're like sophisticated. They're delicious. You know, worldly. Jay's doing a bit because he wants everybody to think that he's healthy and he loves healthy stuff. He's doing a bit.
L.O.B., we're talking about the cookies that you made yesterday. What are they made out of? They're made from the pulp of kale, celery, cucumbers, spinach, carrots, lemon, and half of vanilla. Did you guys already eat it? You ate it. Did you eat it? Okay. But there's other things in there, too. There's whole wheat flour, there's eggs, there's cinnamon, there's vanilla extract, and there is some almond milk. What do you think? Oh, it smells like carrots and throw up. You didn't eat what she baked. L.O.B. Give her the real cookie. Does it taste like a cookie? No. No. What does it taste like? It's good. Like you said. More like a biscuit. A bad biscuit. It is what I was legitimately spitting it out. Me too. For 15 minutes. Yeah. Like the tiniest microscopic crumb would be found. And I go, oh. It's stuck in the back molars.
And I had to, like, dig it out my tongue. Okay. Who has not tried theirs yet? Raise your hand. Everybody else has tried it. Go ahead and try it here in the studio. They're trying. Oh, she had to tear through it because it's very... It's rubbery. It's rubbery. She hates it. Oh, the face. Oh, the face. Spin it out. Spin it out. You don't have to eat it. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it stays in there for a while. I know. Wow. You guys just don't know when something's good for you. That's not it. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah, you know what it needs? It needs a real cookie on top of it. It's not really meant to be like a sweet cookie. It's more just... Butter? Yeah, some butter would be good. Butter would be good. It's more just meant to be like a little nutritious... I have some butter. A pet snack. Treat. Ella B., you've got a professional... You've got a juicer. Yes. Very nice. And this is a thing that... It spits out when it's taking all the juice out of it. It'll like extract, squeeze all the juice out of it. And then it spits out the whole stuff that it can't use. Right. Which is, in fact, waste. No, no, no. It's not waste. It's not. No, it's plenty of. There's more that comes out of the little pulp machine than goes into the little juicer cup.
So can't you just eat that waste if you want the nutrients? Well, I mean, but you are. That's what they're eating right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who wants to eat like a shredded raw potpourri of stuff? But you can make tons of stuff with it. You can do a compost pile with it. I think you did. Yeah, and then you put them in the oven and we're eating compost biscuits. Next time I'll put honey and chocolate chips in there. Please don't do it next time. They'll be like cookies. Please don't do it next time. All in. Will you please not do it next time? Is there anyone in here? And be really honest. L.O.B.'s good looking. We get it, guys. We understand that. But is there anyone in here that actually enjoyed it? No. Don't all jump at once. No one really enjoyed it. It's not delicious. It's a delicious muffin. Better served hot, I think. Matt was popping them in like there was no tomorrow yesterday. That's your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, who loves you. He loves you. And he also likes to make sex to you, so that's why. Yeah, he said, this is great. He said, this is great, babe. Babe, this is great. Ooh, babe, ooh. This is great. So Sheriff Joe Arpaio, apparently they were doing some bookkeeping on Joe Arpaio. He's the sheriff of Maricopa County in Arizona.
run over budget a little bit. Here's what they said. It has exceeded the $100 million mark. Well done, sir. They were looking into the jail funds that they're saying that Joe inappropriately spent and it exceeds $100 million in a letter Monday to federal prosecutors. The current $99.5 million total of misspending over eight years is likely to increase as the final six months of these financial records are examined. Money came from sales tax dedicated to running jails and stuff like that. And the fund for running the commissary that sells the household items to inmates, stuff like that. Big fan of the commissary. When I was in there, I was a big fan. Some cigarettes? No, you can't smoke anymore, but commissary's pretty good. Are they saying he's a cricket sheriff? He's a cricket sheriff.
This is Crookie Sheriff, and if you don't know what that is, Crookie Sheriff is what, Woods, at his birthday party at his house, he plays on a semi-professional baseball team league. Yes, Tipsy Crows. Called Tipsy Crows, and one of his teammates came over to me, and he said, Mike, this is so funny, Mike. Mike, yes, Woods. You see my friend over there? Yes. You know what he said you look like? What's that with? He said you look like a cookie sheriff. Is that right? Yeah, because your glasses are like sheriff glasses. He said you look like a cookie sheriff. And I said, oh, that's great.
Crazy. That's a good one. That's a good one. Is there anything worse than drunk people when you're not drunk? There's nothing worse. So five minutes later, hey, Cookie Sheriff, what are you doing? You want something to eat, Cookie Sheriff? What can I get you? Hey, if you want, I'll run down to the donut shop for the Cookie Sheriff. Get Cookie Sheriff some donuts because I know that the Sheriff likes donuts. That's a good one, Woodsy. Hiccuping. Yeah, yeah. Girl, how drunk you? This girl was pretty drunk on his birthday. Were you looking at yourself in the reflection of the Crooked Sheriff's glasses? 100%. 100%. Aviators. Mike, did I? Crooked Sheriff. I got it, Woodsy. You actually did tell me that already. It's really funny. Oh, I tell you, it's a Crooked Sheriff. You look like a Crooked Sheriff. Jamie, Jamie, dear. Tell Mikey what I said it looks like. Dear. Dear. Mikey. What? He says you look like a crooked sheriff. Yeah! Crooked sheriff. It's become an internet sensation. It's taken over our Facebook fan page. Crooked sheriff lives on. Yeah, he does. He lives on in Maricopa County, too, apparently. Apparently, they are trying to get him on these... What they're trying to get him for is abuse of power. Can I give you my bit on him real quick? Real quick.
You know who doesn't have to worry about it? Yeah, the guy that doesn't abuse power. The guy that doesn't get arrested. Doesn't have to worry about Mr. Sheriff. No, no, no. Here's the deal. I don't necessarily have a problem with what he does. You know what my problem is with that guy? Is his freaking attitude. The guy's a dick. And he acts like one. Just because he treats the criminals like criminals. No, no. He thinks he's above the law. And obviously, the proof is in the pudding. $100 million above the law. Woods, you're hearing about this for the first time today. Before today, you had a problem. He's been under investigation, my friend, for a long, long time. For a multitude. You don't think I'd do my research on Sheriff Joe? You've never, ever, ever said a word. Absolutely, I have. Woods, nobody has said the proof is in the pudding for a long time. That's true. That is true. Wonderful. Would you rather date a hot girl with bad hygiene or a so-so girl who takes good care of herself? That. is a far out question. It's so far out. Speaking of things that haven't been said in 15 years, 20 years. That is a far out question. 570-1949 Call us and answer that question as you listen to the sultry sounds of Mikey Show Live. Everything in this country tied up in the court systems. I think we need a little more of this. Part of the Mikey Show now. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com
Call 570-1949. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. You know what I wish, Crooked Sheriff? What's that, Woods? I wish that when I was channel surfing that I could watch different things on four different screens. Oh, it's cool, Woods. They got this thing called Multiview with AT&T, the U-verse. U-verse? Crooked? I wanted Crooked Sheriff's U-verse. It's the same thing. It's four channels at one time, same screen. And it's also great for people that love movies. I love a movie called The Cracker Show. That's great, Woods. You can take advantage of this then. Listen to this. You can schedule all the recordings you want and watch all the TV shows that you want. And you can do it all from your smartphone with select TV plans. It's pretty awesome. Or call 877-ONLY-ATT.
Go into one of the stores or click att.com slash TV. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Price for your family TV. New customers only. After six months, standard rates apply. Total home DVR requires extra receivers and additional charge. Taxes and other charges apply. Offer ends November 5th, 2011. Is your hair dry, brittle, and breaking off by the handfuls? Have you fried and damaged your hair from harsh chemicals and heat styling treatments? Are you covering up the holes in your hair where the extensions used to be? Has your hair just stopped growing and won't get any longer? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then log on to OvationHair.com to learn what hundreds of thousands of Ovation Cell Therapy customers have experienced. How Ovation Cell Therapy can help restore your natural beauty and shine and help your hair grow thicker, stronger, longer, and faster, up to twice as fast. Ovation is guaranteed safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. So you can use Ovation. with confidence or get a full refund. For thicker, stronger, and longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com I'm test driving a BMW 3 Series right now and enjoying the speed and the power. It has more of both than its top rivals from Audi and Mercedes.
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that a really impressive pitcher needs to understand the engineering and aerodynamic principles at work while a baseball is in flight. I mean, trajectory, rotational forces, the dynamics of turbulent airflow. It's crazy. So that's when you turn to Scanalysis for laser-sharp insight and postgame analysis. Bob Scanlon, only on the Saquon Casino Postgame Show. The Padres play Game 3 of their series with the Mets, 345 Wednesday. From the remotest corners of East County to the splendor of the Silver Strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4, San Diego. Clarence Collected Clichés.
So every day a new cliche was printed out on his HP printer. Then one day his ink ran out, so he ran like the wind and bought an HP Multipack. No longer between a rock and a hard place, Clarence finally printed to his heart's content. And while some days were as busy as a bee and others were dead as a doornail, saving money always made Clarence a happy camper. After all, a penny saved is a penny earned. Print more and save up to 10% with everyday pricing with HP Multipacks, founded a retailer near you. HP. Hit print. Compared to a single standard HP ink card who just pays on average retail pricing. I'm Manny Batista. This is my story. Some of the older guys in our unit said their first time out was even tougher than they imagined. Dig in, they said. Follow orders. And wherever you go, take your Navy Federal credit card to buy a crib or a stroller or whatever baby thing your wife demands. Don't argue. Just buy. Three and a half million members from every branch of service and their families. Three and a half million stories. Navy Federal Credit Union. Try a slice of Boris Ed Premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. I'm not loving you the way I want it to.
Mikey's show live happening in the studio right now. We decided that we were going to allow people to continue to come into the studio every single day that the Mikey show is broadcasting during the nine o'clock hour. And on Fridays, we're going to have it be for two hours. Yes. So on Fridays, it'll be from 8 to 10. The difference is that now every single day that we broadcast, you can be a part of the Mikey Show studio. We call that the sweat pant killers because I can't wear my sweat pants anymore. I know, it's true. I almost did this morning. I go, oh, no, I can't. Well, maybe after a while, you'll get used to the audience and you'll start.
You know, wear my sweatpants. Well, this is what I can tell you is that I remember one of the things that I remember when I was growing up and I used to be a part of a live studio audience of a radio show in San Francisco when I was in high school was that the people did not care what they look like. And that must have come with time. Right. They'd been doing it for a while. And they would just, you know, they didn't care. Well, I was looking at pictures from when we very first started on the air last year, and I was wearing jeans, argyle sweaters, like button downs tucked in every day, hair done up. I haven't, I mean, I look like a turd now every single day. This is Woods now. I told you, if I have to put jeans on, I'm like, who died? Can you imagine if you had to go back to the world of wearing a, oh, wow, look at Woods just completely, just the thought of it, just the thought of it. You know what makes me spin? The bag that I used to have to take probably every two weeks of dry cleaning. That was $80. And you drop it off. This is what you have to do to these pants. I don't like creases down the front. Because you see, there's no pleats here. So I don't want this crease. Okay, I get it. I get it. Okay, yeah, yeah. Make sure that there's no crease in these. Because if they're creased, I look like an idiot. Last time you starched the crap out of my shirt, it was billowing out the back. Dude, this is an every two-week thing. Yeah. And now I put on shorts.
I have 50 pairs of shorts now, 50 V-necks, and a hat and sandals. And that's all I wear every day. I would never want to do anything else. There's no question. I would never want to do anything else. No, there's no question. All right, the question is, would you rather? We haven't done would you rather for a long time, but we only do would you rather when there's actually something that we can do it. All right, so the question is, would you rather date a hot girl with bad hygiene or a so-so girl who takes good care of herself? For me, there couldn't be an easier answer. In fact, to me, there only is one answer, and that's a so-so girl who takes good care of herself. Bad hygiene kills everything. It doesn't matter if she is the hottest woman in the world. I mean, who is the hottest woman in the world? Scarlett Johansson?
Megan Fox. Megan Fox. Who has bad hygiene. Yeah. Very bad hygiene. We just found out she's admitted that she has bad hygiene. Yeah, knowing that, no way. No way. It's disgusting. You could get over it. Define bad hygiene. You are a smelly pirate hooker. What if she smelled like B.O.? Then, yeah, that's fine. She says her clothes smell like her farts. Oh! Yeah, she did. She did say that. I believe it. She did. She said that she farts so much that that's what her clothes smell like. I would still. I'm going to be the lone hot girl with bad hygiene. I'm going to be the lone ranger on that one. You could be with it. Okay, so who's the hottest girl there is? Jamie Woods. No, besides your wife. Oh, I think outside the box here for a second. Just do like you do when we're off the air. Yeah, pretend we're off the air. Let's say Waverly. It's Sienna's sister. It's too soon. It's too soon. Brooklyn Decker. Okay. So, all right. Define hygiene. There's a couple areas. Bad breath. Okay. Could deal with it. Gum. Well, what if she refuses to chew gum? B.O. Could deal with it. Perfume. Let's see. But this is assuming that these girls will chew the gum and put the perfume on. Yeah, they will. You got to have them with the bad.
No. Well, then they don't smell bad. And that's not bad hygiene. Then they're fine. Okay, then they've got good hygiene. But doesn't it kind of all blend together? Yeah, perfume and B.O. can mix. You go to kiss her and she's got butt breath. But she looks like Brooklyn Decker. I'm still French kissing her real good. Oh, you are disgusting. Then I move down to her neck. You don't have to walk through it, man. I get it. I will. M1 Marcos from Escondido. Yes. How are you? Good, good. What would you do? You know, I'm taking the hot chick. I think I'm not going to sit there and wait for an hour for a so-so chick to get ready and spend all my money at Bath & Body Works. Hot chick wakes up. She's ready to go. And still hot. So the hot girl. Just hot. Wait, wait, wait. So the hot girl smells like a German transient. Yep. With, you know, in the middle of Berlin. Summer. Hairy armpits because she's not shaving. She's got bad hygiene. She's got bad hygiene. Smells, you know, no deodorant. She's been on a long hike. Smells like a hot tuna sandwich. Same panties for three days. Oh, my gosh. Come on. Jay just... That's it. Here you go. Oh, Woods is walking out the door. Did you hear what, Jay said? No, she missed it. There's no way in the world that Hillary would have heard that and not died. Not died. Not died. Here's what Jay said. Yeah, I can't even... Oh, gosh.
Jay is the filthiest man. See you later. That's making me gag. M1 Sawyer from Oceanside. Gross. Hey, what's up, guys? Not too much. All right, how about this? An ugly chick that takes care of your hygiene. Ugly chick that takes care of my hygiene. Zero. Zero percent. Washing her hair. Oh, no. No. No. Sounds like a nursing home. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, they have that now. It's called a nursing home. Oh, boy. Pretty sweet deal. No, I'm not King of Siam. I don't want my own hair. I want my hair washed by some girl. Yeah, King of Siam. Unless I'm at the salon. I'm lean back, sonny. Obviously. Yes. Just lay back. I'll take care of this. I'll scrub you down. Just don't move. It's like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America. Yeah. I don't want that bit. Hillary, how are you? I'm great. We missed you. I know. I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you doing? I'm doing great. Have you seen Jeremy with his butchered finger? Jeremy Pritchard? Yeah. No, I haven't. He almost sliced the top of his finger off. We had him on the air this morning and had to get stitches through the nail. What?
And worse than that, we found out that Amanda farts. That's right. That was worse. More breaking news. And farts on him. Oh, that's my kind of girl. I love Amanda. I do, too. She probably didn't want you guys repeating it. Yeah, she probably didn't want Jeremy to say it in the first place. So she's not going to like that we're billboarding it to do every hour tomorrow. Every hour tomorrow. Hey, speaking of, by the way, speaking of Jeremy, Tomorrow and tomorrow night, first of all, there's a new movie coming out called 30 Minutes or Less. And Sony has purchased an entire half-hour block of The Mikey Show tomorrow. So we're going to run commercial-free from 7 a.m. to 7.55 tomorrow morning. Incredible. My entire career outside of like, you know, Mikey-thon where we go 28 hours commercial-free. Outside of that, I've never done this before. So it's pretty cool. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. And that's tomorrow morning. And then Jeremy's going to be doing it tomorrow night, which is really cool. Let's see.
What do you have coming up next? I'm going to play recommended music from Colts, a band whose members grew up in San Diego, but they live in New York now. You might remember them. They came out to the Coachella House. Good band. So good. So nice. Naked and Famous, I'm going to play a San Diego Music Award winner. Nice. New music from them. And I'm going to start with a song that just seriously slays me, melts me. Every time I play it, I'll play that first. There you go. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. The Mikey Show's out. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. Yes, we admit it. We're owned by a large insurance and financial services corporation. Not that we're bragging, but the benefits are pretty good. FM 94.9. It's about the music.