The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/12/10

1:54Sorry, it took us so long today number ones. It's me. I am the reason I I'm looking for scotch tape. I think that's pretty no no no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry please. I'm sorry There we go. I want to be able to crank your tunes dude real sweetly There we go. It's gorgeous now. Oh, man. Hey, listen. I think that having a year and not having one sinus infection after sinus surgery for me, that's a success. I used to get sinus infections every couple of months. Well, I have one now. Perfect. But, you know, it used to be all the time. So this isn't so bad. I can live with that. You rise above.

3:11I'll rise above it. You know what I mean? I'm ready to go. Let's do this thing. Call us up, 570-1949. You can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. We have, I mean, between today and tomorrow, we have so much stuff going on on the Mikey Show and in our lives. It's just, it's hard to fathom. I know. Yes. I'm tired. Yeah. Tired we haven't even begun. I know. I mean, we are doing a meet and greet tomorrow where the guys on the show are going to be wearing skinny jeans, which, by the way, we want to thank Surfride, who hooked us up with, they are certified skinny jeans. Good. You know what I mean? Stretchy. Tied around the ankles. Legit. They gave us some button-up shirts, some Brixton fedoras. Yeah, we're going to look like the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. I want to see all of this. The Backstreet Clowns is what we're going to be. Yeah. That's so rad. Yeah, it's rad. Button-up shirt, are you going to wear the whole outfit? Yes. You should, with fedoras? Yes. Yes. I even am growing in a little pencil-thin beard, if you haven't been able to see it. Luckily, I've already got mine. Yeah, you have yours.

4:35Yeah. I'm going to look like K-Fad. Mm-hmm. It's going to be great. Oh, you guys. This is us tomorrow, walking into the meeting room. That's me right there. Is this on your iTunes mic? Yep. I actually was thinking in my head right now. Kathy, call out. Nobody noticed. Nobody noticed. Please, nobody noticed. She's going to get me. Nothing gets by her. Nothing. Nothing gets by her. She'll get you. She'll get me real good. Yes. I do. I have four songs from the Backstreet Boys. I don't blame you. Four? Four. Which ones? Oh, man, those eyes hurt me. Incomplete. Her eyes pierce me. Here are my songs that I like from the Backstreet Boys. Please. Write this down. Shape of My Heart, the one you were just hearing. The lyrics kill me. Oh, my God. The lyrics? Kill me. I'm sorry. I think they're gorgeous. You're referring to a backstreet voice. Hey, listen. Did they write them, though? No. No, of course not. Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. It's true. That's a fact right there. And then, now listen, if I'm being honest with you, I've got to be honest with you. Be honest, then. A couple of these I have because I use them for the air. Okay. I believe you. Sure. I'm telling you the truth. I believe that. For the air between.

6:00Outside in your ears. If I just admitted to you, Lauren, that I like the lyrics of Shape of My Heart, do you think I'm going to stop there? I'm going to tell you the truth, lady. Go all the way. So I have Larger Than Life by the Backstreet Boys. This song should have been called Gayer Than Gay. I think that was the working title. The original title. I think they were working with that. until they released it, and then they said, you know, why don't we just call it larger than life? Excuse me, if you made the money they made and got the girls they got, it doesn't matter. Money doesn't do it for me. Liar! It doesn't. I wouldn't sell out. What about all the girls they got? Those dudes like dudes, so that does nothing to me. No, NSYNC had a guy that liked guys, but I don't think anybody. Lance. Lance. Lance. What about the Backstreet Boys? Have any of those guys gone on to a solo career? Nick Carter tried.

7:01I know that. Didn't happen? No, not really. David Paris Hilton, that was his solo career. Okay, this one I downloaded because I liked it, this next one. It's Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. Oh. People right now are turning on the radio, and they're like, wait, is this the Mikey Show? Yeah, they're like, listen, all I have to offer you as a listener, all I have to offer you is honesty. What do I have? What do I have that I'm going to give you? I'm not an athlete. I'm not tall. I'm not good looking. All I can give you is just authentic me, which is sometimes kind of lame and feminine. It's just who I am. Write all of this down. It's phenomenal. This next one, I don't know why I have it on here. Maybe it's because I liked it. I'll know as soon as I play it. If I like it, I'll be like, oh, I must have downloaded it because I liked it. Oh, wow. No. Honestly.

8:02We must have used this for a bit. I don't even recognize him. I don't even recognize him. I do. Sorry, Woods. Thank you. I didn't mean to get you started that way, buddy. See, I wasn't really like the new kids on the block. That's what was big when I was young. Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. Yeah. For sure. Soulless music. I know. Plebeian style. I knew it. I knew it, Mike. Knew when you got the Mikey show. Really? Is it about that music, Mikey? Jerk. Well. I was just being honest. I can't help it. I thought it was nice. Hey, we've all got closeted bands. I've got them, okay? Yeah. I've got them. Yeah. Listen, I think I've given up on...

9:03trying to pretend that I don't like certain things. I'm getting older, and the older I get, I'm like, yeah, the less I care what people think anymore. I still have some of that in me, obviously, but then I'm like, you know, if I want to blast the Goo Goo Dolls as loud as I want to, damn it, I'm going to. The Goo Goo Dolls, for me, is baby stuff. Oh, no. In terms of liking embarrassing music. Yeah, Goo Goo Dolls, you can't really compare that with the Backstreet Boys. I kind of do, but... You know what I mean? I mean, I like it. It sounded good to me. I got a couple NSYNCs on there, too. NSYNC is good. Sure they are. It's Justin Timberlake. Bye-bye-bye. It's got catchy stuff. I like bye-bye-bye. 570-1949 is our number. And if you want to text 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm the host of the show. My name is Mikey. I'm embarrassed for the last five minutes. Woodsy is the guy sitting across from me. He's our sports guy. And he's got a PHC. That's a perfect haircut. Lauren O'Brien. She's the blondie. PHC. She's the blondie over here to the right. She's got a PHC too. No, I don't. Yeah. Brazilian blowout. PHC. It's not. Not perfect anymore? Nope. Losing some of its luster? Yeah, it's lost it a long time ago. You can tell she is not digging that Brazilian blowout. No. She wants to talk to someone. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a fake bit.

10:29She was happy with that Brazilian blowout that she got the first day. And after that, she seemed to be complaining about it. That's what happens. They get you. They get you. Sienna is 25. Yes. And she is wearing a brightly colored top today. Very colorful today. Yeah. Looks nice as usual. And Jay looks nice as usual as well. Look at that guy. He's a handsome devil. He's 47. He's in the next room over there. He looks like he's about 25. Yeah, he does. What is he doing? He's running in place. He's doing calisthenics. He's just showing us. He's doing jumping jacks. Oh, wow, Jay. Who's our phone screener, Mike? Phone screener is Crash. Crash. Crash. Crash. So if you want to talk to our phone screener, 570-1949. Make sure you say, it's Krauss. There's only one caveat. You have to say, Krauss. Hi, Krauss. Just tell us how many times you get that today. Yeah, for sure. Mark it down. Mark it down. It's Krauss. This morning at 7.30, we're going to be playing the BB Gun Spelling Bee. Yes!

11:46I'm so excited about this. I am excited. I will supervise. Yeah. It's going to be great. BB Gun Spelling Bee. Here's the way it works. It's pretty easy to figure out. Yep. It's a spelling bee. You get it wrong, you get a BB gun. To the butt. To the butt. I got the words last night. Did you? Yeah. That's awesome. I'm going to get you guys. That's awesome. Our phone lines are all ringing right now, and I know why. Because everybody wants to go, it's Chris. It's Chris. It's Chris. Let's call in and say hi to Chris. I just see him laughing through the window. He is just laughing. So here's the latest on the JetBlue deal. The flight attendant for JetBlue is a guy named Stephen Slater. Double S. Double S. And he went on WABC in New York City and had the following. Tell me about what you think about all the support you've gotten. You know about it. It's been very, very appreciated.

12:54It seems like something here has resonated with a few people, and that's kind of... Wow, those S's are... Really? Those S's are just... Resonated. Yes, yes, it's Steve Slater. Steve Slater. I'm serious. Steve Slater. Steve Squared sometimes. Steve Squared. Old Spice keeps you smelling sweet. Yes, yes, yes. S to the two. S to the two. Neat. You going to lose your job? More than likely. Whoa, easy big time. More than likely. Can we save that? Please? I mean, we can play that for a billion situations. More than likely. You think we're going to get in trouble for this? More than likely. More than likely. That's great. New drop. Love him. Tell me about rude passengers. Talk about that for a second. There's a lot of wonderful people out there. He loves this, I think. He does. He's eating it. He's trying to be like, I don't care, but he loves it. I'm so over it. I'm talking to Perez Hilton later. Me and Perez have a lunch date. We're going to actually do brunch. Stephen Slater. Here he is talking to NBC about it. We actually caught up with him just moments ago in the parking garage as he got into his boyfriend's car to drive to his next secret location. Here's what he had to say.

14:14How are you feeling today? Oh, I got a lot to do. A lot on my plate and a lot to do. What do you want to say to him? Oh, wow, with the microphone already. It's like me doing video. My first time I had the recorder, that's what it sounded like. Oh, Woods, he's kissing the microphone. I'm standing here at Padres Park. I'm talking to Jerry Hurston. Gross. It's true. It's your story. Woods, he had to work out the kinks when he first got into it. Yeah, I'm still working about six and a half, seven months later. Here I sit. People out there who are calling you a sort of working class hero. I'm a little overwhelmed. It's something I had no idea was going on. I'm a little overwhelmed. It's wonderful. He's had the mic right in his mouth. Oh, my gosh. Oh, there it is. Girl Steve Slater, whatever your name is. On board with you. Steven Slater. Double S. On board. JetBlue, I guess, is taking the opportunity to kind of be self-deprecating and make fun of themselves with the situation, right? Yeah, they're being pretty cool about it. They actually got on their blog and wrote some things.

15:24Sometimes the weird news is about us. It wouldn't be fair for us to point out absurdities in other corners of the industry without acknowledging what it is about us. They're just being really lighthearted about it, basically. And they're just like, yeah, you know, we messed like, you know, we have someone here. We're in the news. Pretty funny what happened. But we have a lot of other people that work for us that are very qualified and great employees. Well, everybody here on the Mikey show thought that it was great and thought that it was, you know, working class hero, except for me. Wow. I didn't exactly call me. hero. I just thought he's funny. You were down with it. Yeah. And I'm not. I thought that it was poor taste and a bad example. Sometimes poor taste is funny, though. The guy grabbed beers and went down the emergency chute of a plane. You gotta give that. I'm out! It was funny. I just thought it was inappropriate. Who is he a role model for, though, that anyone was looking to him for what to do? Oh, I'll tell you exactly who. Not children. Not little kids. Teenagers. I think for teenagers, it pours into the culture as funny. It pours into the culture as funny, but not just funny. If it was funny on its own, eh, what's a big whoop? But in addition to funny, it's also lauded. That's the problem. The problem is that it's lauded. And for high school kids, teenagers, I think they go, yeah, I know how to be lauded. I don't know what lauded means.

16:49Praised. Yeah, praised. Everybody's talking about it. Lift it up. Lift it up. You know, like, this is cool. And, you know, it's the same deal. It's the same issue I have with Gaga. You know, a lot of her stuff is lauded, too. Oh, yeah, but she's premeditated. I mean, and she's in the public eye. This guy wasn't like, if I do this, then all of a sudden I'm going to be on the news. I mean, he just lost it. Yeah. He lost his marbles. Yeah. Now. What I'm talking about is our reaction to it. The culture's reaction to it. The reaction to it by and large has been, you know, to applaud. Well, it's got to be a, it's a first time story. Oh, for sure. Yeah. That's a groundbreaker. Because of this, other flight attendants. That guy's a groundbreaker. Other flight attendants from all over, all types of airlines are coming forward and basically just venting about passengers saying like, you know, this guy is great for doing this. People need to realize like we're here doing our jobs. We're not trying to make your life miserable. We're trying to make the flight enjoyable. And people are like, I get called a B, you know, every day. I've had food trays.

17:54at me. People snap when they get on an airplane. They snap and they think hey I paid $400 for this heat. I can do whatever the hell I want. It's like the guy in the restaurant that treats the waiter waitress poorly because hey I'm paying for the meal. You work for me. I mean, it's BS, man. Now maybe people will mind their P's and Q's a little bit more. And they're saying since this story broke earlier this week that people have already, like they can tell people have been nicer on planes. Good. Oh, yeah, they're afraid. Well, listen, I agree that people are bad for doing that. I think that people that freak out on planes and they're rude to airline attendants, they're rude. That's not right. But my issue is, man, it would have been great if... What the news was today is that airline attendants, by and large, came out and said, what this Yahoo did was really wrong and puts a bad name on us flight attendants. You know, we usually act professionally, and that was completely unprofessional, and we don't condone it. I would have been like, oh, my goodness, look at those. But doesn't the fact that they didn't do that and the fact that they did come out, doesn't that say something?

19:03Doesn't that speak to the fact? It says something we already know. What jerks are? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. What we know is that people are rude. Oh, yeah. Man, but haven't you had the flight attendant that just picks on you the whole time? Yeah. I have, dude. But you know what I think in the back of my mind? This lady woke up at 3 in Omaha. She flew to Cleveland. Then she went to Akron. Then she's gone to Dallas. Now she's in Miami. And then she's got to go to North Carolina. And I'm like, and she's in this two-ball date. Like, that's one person I feel a lot of sympathy for. And, hey, there are giant Bs and Ds that work on planes. But like I said, I'm not traditionally a rule follower. I get in the airport, and I'm like, yes, ma'am. No, sir. You know what I mean? How are you? I am. I am. Kind of. I'm nice. Very nice. In the course, not on the plane. You're nice. I'm nice on the plane? No, yeah, you're nice. I'm nice. I might not follow all the rules. I might use my cell phone when I'm not supposed to or listen to pre-approved electronic devices before a lot of the time. They're not pre-approved. Please ask that you don't use text. I wait, man. I'm always the guy that when they get to 10,000 feet and they say, you can now turn your stuff on.

20:12Me too. I'm halfway through a movie at that point. I know. It scares me if I don't. Woods is on a phone call. Yeah. I don't want the plane to go down or anything crazy. Nothing's going to happen. I don't want to interfere. Woods, they say that for a reason. Trust me, I do it. Nothing's been happening. I'm all good. To me, I just go, well, that's the rule. I'm just not going to do it because that's the rule. I trust that they know more than I know. If everyone turned on their phones when they weren't supposed to, there could be a big problem. My phone is usually, when we start our descent and we're... We're 100 feet from the ground. I'll turn my phone on and, like, turn it on so that all my stuff starts coming through by the time I land. But, like, my iPod, dude, I have it on the whole time. My buddy is a pilot. He says those are the most critical times because that's when the system is, you know, autopiloting and they're communicating with the airport. Nothing's happened yet. Well, yeah, one guy. But if everybody starts breaking the rules. Fair enough. If you see Woods getting on your flight. Maybe I'll change my ways. All right. But I do listen to my iPod. That's not going to do anything. They say turn it off. You know, I just, you know what, I'm a grown-up. I don't like to fly, and the music helps me, so there you go. They have little things you can plug into on the side of the armrest. Not all of them, though. Plus, you know, you're a grown-up guy now. You're 35, and, you know. Yeah, so I can kind of do what I want. Oh, there is something that... You know, I'm a grown-up. You know, I'm going to behave...

21:31Behave maturely. I do what I want. There's a saying that I believe a guy named Stephen Woods once said. What's that? It's called, oh, what is it? Oh, rise above. That's right. Rise above. I don't like to fly. I'm petrified of flying. Oh, but I think. No, you're not. I think I heard it as rise above, and I heard it in the context of when you can't get over something, get over it for the sake of other people. I don't think I ever said that. Yeah. Hey, Woodsy. Yeah. Tell everybody what's going on with Merriman. Well, so I was shocked yesterday. I was lounging around the house, as usual, not exercising. Uh-huh. And something rolled across the screen, and it said, Sean Merriman planning to report to camp this weekend. Wow. So I started doing some digging and started sniffing around a little bit. I actually tweeted Mr. Merriman last night. You did? He did not tweet me back. He didn't. Imagine that. What's up with that? But here's the deal. He is basically, according to, I'm doing finger quotes, sources, he has said he misses his teammates. He misses the work. He's ready to get back. He's going to sign his one-year tender for $3.269 million. And the guy's going to be here and ready to rock, which is, you know what, man? When you work on a team, it's like us. If somebody's not here, you feel it.

22:52Him getting back is going to throw a nice little spark into the team. I think so. I think that's pretty cool. And, hey, if he goes out and has the kind of season he's capable of, watch out, AJ. Yeah. Watch out because that guy's going to take you to the bank or he's going to be playing with a star on his helmet or something next year. You know what I mean? My gosh. That just creeped me out. How's that feel? Not good. Don't say that. Big eagle? Maybe a big eagle on the side of his helmet? I'm okay with that. Yeah, it'll be like that. Maybe a patriot? Come on now. You're awful. Stupid looking old patriot on the side of his helmet? You're speaking another language. So, hey man, that's good news. You know Sean Merriman is suing Christian Leitner? I saw that, man, in some real estate deal. It's Leitner and another guy that had a real estate company, and he invested. He loaned him money. Loaned him money. And the company went in the toilet, as a lot of companies did, and they owe him a couple million. And he's like, where's my money? And Christian Leitner is like, sorry, dude, we don't have it, man. Yeah, and Merriman's attorney said, why don't you have it? He said, well.

23:57No, didn't he say something like, that's a good question. Yeah, he goes, that's a good question. I think it has something to do with the economy. I don't think I'd want to owe Sean Merriman $2 million. Me either. Maybe slit your throat. Yeah. $56 will get you. $56 will get you real good. That's good news. Yeah. Here's some good news, too, especially here in San Diego. End of the month. The war in Iraq is ending, and they're going to be bringing some... Men and women home. That's what White House officials announced yesterday. They said that President Obama is satisfied that the U.S. can now safely end its combat role in Iraq at the end of this month and meet the deadline for bringing back all the U.S. troops from the country by the end of 2011. How about that? That's great news. Let's see. Hey, Jay, what do we have as a prize today for word of the day? That is a fantastic question. All right. I'm going to say we have another pair of... No, we got. Hold on. I don't know. Some sunglasses. Yeah, yeah. Well, we know we have that. I'll give you an autographed baseball, maybe. Oh, wow. You can do that. I can do it right here. I got one in my hand. We'll make sure it's a good one. Okay. It's the same baseball that Woodsy has in here every day. Yeah, I can play with it. Yeah, he does. He'll, during the break, pretend that he's pitching. Do different pitches with it. Little grips. Not distracting or anything. Little grips. If I were a Mikey Show fan, that would be a cool gift to me. Absolutely. That'd be a cool prize.

25:24I would want that. Thank you, Mike. Yeah, I mean. Put my number on there. Maybe some inspirational message or something. Wouldn't you LLB if you're a Mikey Show fan? No. I would want something like. I'd go to the Sports Authority and buy a baseball. Yeah, but that one would not be from your favorite radio program. And your favorite men's league first baseman. Yeah. I guess I wasn't taking that into account. Your favorite San Diego brewer. Our prize is another pair of tickets to see the San Diego Chargers take on the Chicago Bears. Yes. Welcome Stadium. I guess 14th. Love that. This Saturday. Yes, this Saturday. Get there early. Mama Woods' birthday. There you go. So the word of the day is zebra. The word of the day is zebra. Now, when you hear that word worked into a sentence, caller number nine at 570-194-9 will win Charger Bear tickets for this weekend. First preseason game of the season. So that should be great.

26:25Don't forget, tomorrow's our big day, big meet and greet. Going to be at the Tipsy Crow downtown, Fifth Avenue. And the big news is that we will be wearing ridiculous outfits. Senor Beans is going to be there. To clarify, ridiculous for us. For us. Ridiculous for us. Some people, pull it off. Yeah, but like guys in high school. Yeah. Not really grown men. Like if you were in Jay's family, you can pull this stuff off. We cannot. If you were in the Queens of Leon, you could pull it off. Yes, if we were in the Queens of Leon, we could pull it off. There you go. You said it right this time. Here's the thing. You know, when I'm amongst M1s wearing my fedora and my skinny jeans, I'm going to be embarrassed. But at the same time, they're going to understand why I look that way. Right. But when I get out of the car... That's the best part. When you have to walk downtown like, hey, I'm Joe Hipster, look at me. Oh my gosh. Maybe you guys just get dropped off right in front. Maybe my wife parks the car and just drops us off. Maybe we ride together. That is not a very chivalrous thing. And we'll pick up Jay and I'll make her park the car. Walk is shame. I'll make my brother-in-law do it.

27:44What an awful, awful, awful, awful. You guys are going to look so handsome. Oh, my gosh. Do you hear about what Rex Ryan, the coach of the Jets, had to say yesterday? I wonder how management there for the Jets feel about what Rex Ryan, their head coach, was saying. You know, because they're trying to negotiate a deal with Darrell Revis right now. He wants to be the highest paid cornerback in the league. Oh, and they are way off. They are way off in money. And so we're going to play you. Rex Ryan's comments that are all over SportsCenter and everywhere else in the universe today. We'll do that next in Woods on Sports. Welcome back to Mikey Show. So, what did Rex Ryan say yesterday to the press? What did he say that maybe Jet Management would be like, hey, dude, do us a favor. We're trying to negotiate a deal here. I'll explain. You'll see what it's all about during Woods on Sports. And don't...

29:15Don't forget that it's 7.30 this morning. We're going to be doing BB Gun Spelling Bee. Yes. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Spelling Bee. And if we get a word wrong, well, when I say we, I mean Woods and J. Woods and J. You get shot in the behind with a BB gun. What's that? That's so funny. Are you nervous? No. You're not? By no, I mean yes. By no, he means yes. I'm a pretty good speller, but, you know, we'll see what happens. Is that going to hurt? I mean, it's a BB gun, so it's not going to feel, it's not going to tickle. You guys. It's not going to tickle, that's for sure. You know, when I brought the BB gun in this morning, I thought, I'm just going to walk into the building with a BB gun in my hands. Yeah, I know. So I wrapped it in a towel and made it look like something else. And it still looked like something else. I was like, oh boy, that doesn't look good. You wouldn't think that there was a... I don't even want to say it. It's a BB gun. It's a BB gun, BB gun, BB gun. Hey, did you guys hear about the man that found a plant living in his lung? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. When I read this, I had my hair on my arms standing up. Really? Oh, it grosses me out. Okay, so this guy, his name is Ron Sweden, and he's from New York. He was suffering from a pretty bad lingering cough.

30:39Maybe it could be the same deal. So he kept going to the doctor. It wasn't going away. He just felt so sick. It was awful. They thought, you know, maybe he has lung cancer. It could be some kind of a tumor. They don't know. So finally, after he went to numerous doctors, one doctor finally figured out what it was. It was a plant growing inside of his lung. A plant. What kind of plant? Well, they don't know exactly where it came from, but they think that it's from a green pea that he ate, and it made its way down the wrong pipe, split, and then began to grow. Oh, my gosh. It grew to about an inch and a half, which caused his lung to collapse. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, so he had to have the plant obviously removed from his lung, which it's a blessing in disguise to have a plant in your lung instead of a tumor, you know? So it was a good thing. Yeah. But I guess right after he had surgery, he had to stay in the hospital for a while. And the first plate of food they brought him had a side of peas. Oh, no. I would have flipped it over. He said that he laughed to himself and he ate them. I would never eat a pea again. And so it is. Uh-oh. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. Yeah. Can I have a word with you? Sure.

32:05You okay, honey? Can you sit down? Pop it up. It's okay, hon. Sit down. I know I told you that everything was probably going to be fine once we did the x-rays, but we just got the x-rays back. And it looks like you're turning into a hydrangea. What does that mean, doctor? Do you have any lozenges, hon? Lozenges? What it means, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, is that you're going to spend the rest of your life in a floral shop. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It's the only place he'll be safe. No, no, no. You said. I know. I know I did, Mrs. Johnson, but I said from the beginning that I didn't. I couldn't guarantee. I know I did. Doctor, can I have some water?

33:07Of course you can. No, that'll only make it grow. What am I supposed to do? What you're supposed to do, sir, is wait for it to rain. What the hell does that mean? It means that when it rains, he'll get his nutrients from the rain. Doctor. What? You're Mexican. I know it. Do you know of anyone that can tend to this? What does that mean, Mr. Johnson? He means like a landscaper. Yeah. Do you know any landscapers? Don't you know anything? I do know some landscapers, but I don't think that that's the appropriate thing for you to do. I don't know what to do. I told you the best thing for you to do is to find a nice florist somewhere here in San Diego. Just hang out. No, don't hang out. Move in there. Just hang out. We're not moving. You're moving. You've got to get used to this idea. You promised us. I did, but that was before I knew that I'd seen x-rays. Plant. Face. Why can't this be an episode of Grey's Anatomy? I'm sure it will be coming up next season. What do you mean? What do you think that was? I can't grow a plant inside of you.

34:36It's a true story, guys. Come on now. I can't grow a plant inside of you. Stupid. I can't grow a plant inside of you. Can't grow a plant inside of you. Wow. You guys need help. Oh, wow. Uh-oh, there goes the plant. It's a real plant. GPs recently, Mike? Oh, my goodness, I did. Did you? Did you? Mikey. Let's find out what's going on. There's so much happening in sports right now. Woodsy's going to tell us all about it, including Rex Ryan's comments.

35:28Woods on Sports brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. You guys ready to watch some football this weekend? You ready to watch some Chargers? Sure. Yeah, no, that's not going to happen. The Chargers game got blacked out in Southern California. Are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding. No, you won't be watching any football unless you're at the game. All games not sold out 72 hours prior to kickoff will be blacked out. There are 7,800 tickets remaining. Are you kidding? I'm not kidding, man. I got a press release yesterday and said the game will be blacked out. All I know is what they tell me. That stinks. That stinks, man. Sometimes it changes at the last minute, though. Maybe it will. Maybe it will. I'd like to see. I'll tell you. I'd like to see Ryan Matthews running roughshod over the Bears, man. I really would. But some more good news from the Chargers. One of the most important positions on the football field, on the offensive side of the ball, is the left tackle. because it protects the quarterback's blind side. It's got him back to the left tackle. Left tackle is taking on a really strong, fast defensive end, not letting him get to the quarterback. Well, obviously we have Marcus McNeil, who's holding out. He's not in camp. Brandon Dombrowski was also a guy that was going to start. He's missed practice a few days. He's not feeling well and not doing well. Backup Nick Richmond is having an arthroscopic knee surgery. Trey Thomas, the guy they signed in the offseason, he just had a scope on his knee. Yeah, so maybe.

36:53Maybe we get Marcus McNeil, the all-pro, left tackle, badass. Yeah. One of the best in the game. Maybe we get him. Maybe we get him. Maybe we sign him. Yeah. Maybe open the checkbook for this guy, dude. Get him in here. It's ridiculous. That's so scary. I'm sure he's sitting back with his feet up going, mm-hmm. Any minute, my phone's going to ring. Absolutely. And when it does, it's going to be real good. One would think. And then we told you earlier, if you didn't hear, Sean Merriman is planning on signing his tender and returning to the Chargers. Very good. I like it. Which is awesome. Also, the Padres won 8-5 last night. These guys are taking care of business, man. Like I said, they're beating the teams they need to beat. They're looking really good. Kevin Correa pitched last night. He was outstanding. Here he is on his stuff. Cut one. Yeah, I felt good. I had good command.

37:41Off-speed pitches to match my fastball command that I've had the past few starts. So, yeah, it was good. I felt pretty in control of the game. Atta boy. Gonzo, four for four last night. Nice. Yeah, it was solid. He even had a bunt single, which was pretty interesting. But they had a nice little lead, and they kind of let the Pirates back into it. But mark of a good team, man. Held off the rally and came away with a W. Nice. That's what you want. Also, Rex Ryan. So, they've got Darrell Rivas. He's one of the guys. one of the greatest cornerbacks in the game. He wants a lot more money than the $1 million he's scheduled to make this year. And so there have been some words exchanged, and they're talking about, hey, how do we get this done? We need you. You know, the Jets have added a ton of people in the offseason. Jason Taylor, LaDainian Tomlinson, Mark Sanchez, it's his second year. These guys really think that they can make a run. They need this guy on the field. And so Rex Ryan thinks that this may be how you get it done. Cut to. Let's bring him in. I'm inviting them to come in. Darrell, come in with everybody else. Anybody he wants, as few or as many as he wants, we'll have the whole team there, including our owner and the entire organization, Steve Yardell. We'll have Bruce. We'll have everybody there. And then that's maybe how we'll get a solution. He says, we bring the whole team. Oh, yeah. Everybody. And Darrell. Yep. We'll bring the team. And they get a day off practice. We'll bring the team.

39:09If I'm the president of the Jets, I'm going to go, Rex, maybe we don't sound so desperate. Maybe we don't sound so... Maybe we... Maybe you just... Maybe we don't get audio from Jurassic Park. Maybe don't kick your bass drum while you're talking to the media. Yeah, you can't see it on the radio. But we'll tell you, there's a T-Rex right about to pounce. Let's bring him in. I'm inviting them to come in. Darrell, come in with everybody else. Anybody he wants, as few or as many as he wants. Including our owner and the entire organization, Steve. Yeah, so, you know, they're about $40 million off. And, you know, his logic behind this is this. Darrell's agents have been negotiating without Darrell there. Like I said, they're about $40 million off. But his logic is probably something like, listen, Darrell gets here. He looks in my eyes. He sees his teammates. He's going to want to get back to work and get back to practice. And it kind of negates that, well, he said, she said, you know, all that stuff. They can get it all out in the open. Yeah, in a perfect world, that's probably a really good idea. But when it comes to negotiating, it's not a move that you want to make. You know what I mean? So that's Woods on Sports, buddy. Let's see. So let's do the panel.

40:32The panel is where we go, just like on the TV show, pardon the interruption. Just kidding. Oh, around the horn. Just kidding. Around the horn. Just like Family Feud. Yeah, it's just like Family Feud. Yeah. It's like Charles and Charge. You guys have seen it. Okay, so we go to me, Woodsy, and Lauren O'Brien. All right? And what we do is we talk about... Things that are going on in the news, big topics of the day, some of the stuff that's out there. And we only get 20 seconds to comment on each item. Do we? First up, Sienna, tell us about this teen pageant winner that has been decrowned. 15 years old, this girl, Olivia O'Neill, recently won the title of Miss Teen Wanganui. Haven't we all? Yeah, I think that's New Zealand, I'm pretty sure. Facebook photos surfaced of her after she won, and she had dyed her hair. The pageant organizer was not happy about this. She immediately sent her messages, called her, is this a wig? I hope it is. Don't give me heart failure, is what she said to this winner. What was she originally? Blonde? It's like dirty blonde hair, yeah, blonde. And she dyed it dark brown.

41:49She already won. All right, so they took it away for that. Well, the woman freaked out and basically even told her, like, you're not going to go far in this world, stuff like that if you act like this. And the girl was like, fine, take my title away if you're going to threaten me. What does she mean, if you act like this? What does that mean? Because she... dyed her hair. The woman freaked out. Like it's ruining the integrity of... Exactly. How could you do that? You don't look like the person that was crowned, you know? And so the girl was like, this is ridiculous. Take my crown away if you're going to give me this. I'm not changing my hair back. And so they did. They took her crown. Do you think that there's... Is there fairness in that? No, there's no fairness in it at all. You should be able to do what you want? Absolutely. I mean, within reason. I mean, it's her body. Yeah. Not like she got a giant tattoo across her throat that said... I'd slay, you know, whatever. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. I think that woman's deplorable, man, and I think maybe she worries about something else other than a pageant. All right. L.O.B.? I will say from having agents, like, you know, talent agents. Yeah.

42:53that you have to represent what your pictures say. And if she won the pageant and she had to make public appearances looking a certain way, then I could see why they're like, well, you can't look like a completely different girl. Some people sign contracts. I'd never have myself. Some people sign contracts saying I will not gain over X amount of pounds. Oh, yeah, I had to sign that here at FM 94.9. Me too, and I'm already in breach. Yeah, I've already broken the contract. So I'm just saying, I'm guessing that that's what they're trying to impose on her. Yeah. Well, my thing is, I have to put the caveat out there. If it was a rule, then I say, absolutely, you're done. And I don't know if it was a rule on a contract like that, but I'm sure it probably was. If it wasn't stipulated, I say, oh my goodness, you're out of line. If it was stipulated and it said you don't drastically change your appearance, then yeah. Barbar. Yeah, the expectation in holding the crown is that she maintained the image she had when she won it. Yeah, if I showed up for an audition with brown hair, if all the pictures that were submitted were my blonde headshot, there would have been hell to pay for me. Really? By your agent? Miss Teen New Zealand. Yeah, it's a different person. Yeah. Looked totally different. She still looks good. I mean, you can see it's really not that different.

44:09It was probably in there that she can't change her appearance for a year or whatever. Yeah, but crazy. This next one is really something else. Don't know if you've heard this song. It's a new Eminem song. Eminem's new song with Rihanna is called Love the Way You Lie. Love it. Love it. Hate the title. Like the sound of it, though. Strong, dude. Everyone likes the sound of it. Yeah. But some people don't like the words. Some people don't like the words. They don't like the...

45:13They don't like the video, right? The video is pretty nuts. I haven't seen it, but Woods and Sienna saw it this morning. Yeah, I saw it a couple days ago, and I said to Woods this morning, dude, you need to check out this video. And we were talking about it, and there's articles out, and people are saying that basically this song, and especially the video, is glorifying abuse. Now, how so? Which is pretty crazy. Tell me about the video. Tell me about it. We all know Rihanna's past, so for her to be in this is... controversial enough she got beat up by rap singer and boyfriend Chris Brown right Chris clown so basically in the music video it's Eminem and Rihanna singing the song and Megan Fox is in it and we all know Megan Fox is an actress so they pulled in one of the big big wig girls to be in this and they wanted to make it a powerful video and there's another guy I forget his name he was on lost he's another big actor that you've seen and basically it just shows them very abusive towards each other. Megan Fox and this other guy, they're in a relationship and they're taught, you know, the house is burning on fire. He's punching mirrors. The first scene is they wake up, they're spooning and she looks at his hand and it says like Carly and there's a number on it and she pushes up out of bed and starts hitting him and he pushes her and then two seconds later he grabs her up against the wall and they start making out. Abusive, then passionate.

46:35If you don't know, the deal with Rihanna and Chris Brown is that what they were arguing about at the time that he started to punch her was about a girl. Calling him. Calling him. Yep. So there's clearly the irony there. Right. So then what happens? Well, and then it's more of the same. I mean, she's in a bar. He sees her with another dude, walks up and... cracks this dude with a bottle. Socks this guy, yeah. And then it shows them back at the hotel yelling at each other, drinking, pushing, and then making out again. And it's like you can tell that there's love. They love each other, but it's like crazy love. There's a fine line between love and hate. Love and hate, that's right. Right, and so a lot of people are like, you know. putting out a video like this, especially with a song that's so huge right now. I mean, this song is rising to the top. Everyone loves this song. And to see that video, especially because Megan Fox is in it, it's going to draw a lot of attention. And young people could see this and think like, oh, my gosh, maybe that's normal. How does it end? It ends with the house burning down. Yeah. OK, well, I guess I'm kind of OK with that because it's got a real ugly ending. And so.

47:44But are they together in the end? I don't think they're together in the end. I think they're apart, and they're both on fire. But they're not in the house that's burning, but it's just like this imagery. There's imagery of fire on them. Yeah. I mean, hey, dude, they're not walking off in the sunset or anything. And I watch a video, and at first I thought, how could Rihanna do this? But then I was like, well, it's kind of bringing some attention to it. Yeah. Like a few days ago, I wanted to put it on my blog because I was like, I can't believe this video. But I was like, I don't even know. I could get in trouble if I put this up. I mean, the logic, you know, if you follow the logic, logic is, well, if Rihanna was beat up and she's doing a video where there's people getting beat up, then she clearly is making a statement. Yeah. Yeah. And they're actors. It's not like a documentary that they're singing. It's pretty like the way I see it is like it seems like everyone in that video has had conflict with relationship. Like Eminem obviously bashes his kid's mom all the time, Kim. And we know Rihanna's past and Megan Fox. I mean, who knows? She's a little bit nuts. Yeah.

48:45Or is she a little bit perfect? She's a little bit perfect and a little bit nuts. Gents, you need to watch this video because in this video, she's a little bit perfect. Really? Oh, my gosh. But crazy, though. I mean, you can just nuts. The whole thing is nuts. Crazy amazing. What's the M1 Nation thing? 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com. Have you seen it? Call us. Tell us. Word of the day is zebra. When you hear zebra worked into a sentence today, caller number nine is going to win Charger. Bear tickets for this weekend and our meet and greets tomorrow. Don't forget that. Senator Harry Reid. He said something that a lot of people took offense to. We have the audio. I heard it. I was hurt, sad, and fearful. And I was hurt, sad, and fearful because I'm Mexican. And you'll know what I'm talking about when you hear it. It's coming up next. 7.30, we're playing BB Gun Spelling Bee. Terrified. I'm nervous for you guys. I know it. It's going to be Jay and Woodsy, and Sienna got words, and we're going to give them a spelling bee. If they get the word wrong, they get the BB gun. And I've thrown my hands in the air saying, I'm not participating in this. I don't condone violence. That's hilarious. Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna.

50:33Jay and our phone screener Krause. Krause. That's Krause. That's Krause. Our number is 570-1949. We should make him answer the phone like that. 94-9, it's Krause. Mikey Show, it's Krause. Mikey Show, it's Krause. He'd be like, I quit. I'm done. See ya. 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to text us. Let's see. So, Senator Harry Reid. He is a little kooky. In my opinion, don't know if you heard about this and what he said. This was his comments. He's a Democrat. I don't know how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a Republican. Okay? Do I need to say more? Yes. Yes, you do, because I don't understand what you've said so far. I'm a Mexican. I'm of Hispanic origin. I'm Republican. Latino. No, Latin. I've always been Republican. I've never been Democrat. Really? I've always been Republican. I've always thought conservatively. Even though I'm embarrassed of the party right now. The party doesn't have anybody. I mean, you talk about a party that's in trouble. Wait till I play you some comments a little bit later. Wait till you come to my tea party, Michael. Listen, I don't want any part of it. Oh, it's the hibbity-dibbity, I tell ya. Quit saying stuff like hibbity-dibbity, Sarah. Oh, it's funny-duddy. No, it isn't.

52:02Sarah Palin, listen, Palin, you're making things bad for us with your goofy talk. You're making tea and crimpets. No, I'm not. You are for my tea party, Michael. Look at her. She's drunk, Sarah Palin. She comes in here, stumbling around, making any sense. I'm drunk on fresh mountain air, Michael. Oh, my goodness. Plant long. I got plant long. Plant long real good. They've been showing so much stuff on TV about airplanes because of that JetBlue dude. That guy is being followed everywhere. I feel bad for him. His face looked terrified in that one picture. By terrified, do you mean ecstatic because of the attention? He was sprinting away, and they were following him with a camera, and he jumped in the car. His face was all sweaty, and he was looking like, I didn't sign up for this. Really?

52:58Yeah. I didn't sign up for this. What I signed up for was, you know, fun and good times. No, he had a momentary, I'm going to shoot the place up. This JetBlue flight attendant is the most searched guy person on the internet right now. Is he? Oh, yeah. He's loving it. I feel bad for him. I like him. What do you feel bad for him for? He threw a tantrum. Okay, but now he didn't ask for a cult following. He did. They're calling him a cult. He's a cult hero. A cult hero, that's what it is. That's a little different. A cult leader? He's like David Koresh, basically. That's what I'm saying. They're calling him the next Waco Waco. That's what they're calling him. Have you guys ever seen somebody do that? Freak out on a plane? Not a flight attendant, but a person. You guys ever seen somebody? Oh my goodness. Gary Michael Woods. Your dad? Yes. He freaked out on a plane? He does all the time. Your dad is that dude? Yes. More than likely. Like what? Just like, he just gets real aggro at the airport and like, like somebody knees his seat or something, he flips up. Really? Yes, and I'm like. Oh my gosh. I saw like a triad flip out. Is that a word? I don't know. Is that like an Asian gang member? No, it's like a three member flip out.

54:19Three people? Anyway, yeah. First, this guy, okay, so I think I may have even talked about this. He comes on late, and he's like, I just need to get my book. And they're like, sir, you've got to sit down. We can't take off until you sit down. And the flight attendant's being super calm with him. He's like, okay, but I need my book. And then he realized it was back a couple rows where he put it. So then she's like, sir, sir, he's like, I need reading material. And then this guy from three rows up goes, just sit the hell down. Flight attendant yelled. Yeah, it's just, flight attendant yelled, and she goes, you need to calm down, like, to the, oh, gosh, it was crazy. To the other guy. To the other guy. Oh, clown. One of the worst things I've seen, not necessarily a freakout, but when a woman got sick, and instead of just going for the bag in front of her, she decided she didn't try to make it to the bathroom. No, don't. She stood up. You can't, lady. She stood up, like, you know, covered her mouth and tried to run back there. Didn't make it. Of course not. Leaned to the side and threw up on someone. Ew. Really? It was three rows in front of me. A stranger? A stranger. Oh my gosh. It came out of the side of her hand. It was three rows in front of me and I sat there. I was in the aisle and I watched the whole thing. Don't do that. Oh dude. If that were me, it would have been like stand by me. It would have been like I would have thrown up. Oh yeah.

55:43I'm sure more people probably did. Oh, my God. Oh, it was bad. It was real bad. Because then the plane smells. Yeah, at that point, you're like, ah, it's one of my top three flights ever. I'm never going to forget that. Oh, I'd be asking for all sorts of free flights and hotel rooms. Drink tickets. Oh, my God. That and the guy who decided it was a good idea to check fish oil in his bag underneath the plane, which, of course, broke and spilled all over all the luggage. Fish oil. Smelled it in the plane. Fish oil is fantastic for you, by the way. Lots of omega-3. It was a flight from Vegas to San Diego. I'm like, really? Fish oil? I thought fish oil only came in little pills. No, you can spoon it in real good. Yeah, the airline had to give money to people's bags because fish oil spilled all over other people's bags. Nothing smells worse than fish oil. And it gets in your clothes. You can't get that out. Oh, my gosh. I saw a guy yell at a baby. There can't be much worse than that. Yeah, in defense to the guy the baby was asking for it. The baby was flipping him off the whole flight. That's where it was Luke. Smoking cigarettes. Yeah, it was Luke smoking cigarettes.

56:51What happened? Why? Well, I guess he inadvertently yelled at the baby. He yelled at the mother and said, you know what? Maybe you should wait to fly. So I don't know if he was like... I mean, he was talking to the baby, but... Call us up if you've seen the greatest... Well, I shouldn't call it that. The worst. The wildest, the worst flip out. 570-1949. Maybe you were the wildest flip out. What made you flip? What did you observe? What have you seen? Never. Oh, yeah? I've done this bit of, like, getting angry on a plane. Like, when you land, and you'll always get that one jackhole that's sitting in the back row, and he's trying to get to the front. And, you know, he is, like, pushing his way. And I always standard, hey, where's the fire, pal? Always. I'm like, hey, dude, where are you going to go? Hurry up and wait. You know, it drives me nuts. So I'll give him the, hey, where's the fire? Makes me sound nervous. Even hearing it makes me nervous. Why does it make you nervous? Oh, I know where's the fire girl, too. Yeah, where's the fire, pal? Yeah, you guys stand up for yourself or else those people will keep doing that stuff. Girls can say that. Guys can say it, too. Well, I know, but if a guy says it, it's like, man, it might be go time. Fine. I don't want go time. I'm peaceful. I am, too, but leave me alone. Don't be an idiot. Just stand there and wait.

58:04You see how the guy that's got to run in front of the two rows that are trying to get out? I hate that guy. Dude, just let him go, you butt. I want to get out, too. I say, eh, you know what? Live to fly another day. Let clown, you know, clowny is that. No, 0%. The guy's got to be called out. He's an idiot. He needs to be called out as an idiot. There's always entertainment on his life. I know it. You can go to the airport and post up for a week and we'll have two years worth of gold. Yeah, radio bits. M1 Amanda. Is on the line you there, Amanda? Yeah, hi. So, your first plane ride? Is that what you're... Well, that I can remember. Okay. Yeah. What happened? And I used to be deprived sugar a lot. My mom used to say that we'd get excited over, like, one M&M. Yeah. So, anyways, we were on this flight, and I had a can of soda with my meal, and they had a packet of sugar with the, like, napkin and stuff. Uh-huh. And, of course, soda is not... quite sugary enough let's put sugar in it you put sugar in soda and i didn't know it would react so it suddenly starts like bubbling over and it's like there's like a delayed reaction so at first you kind of like you know you hear something and then all of a sudden it just starts spewing all over i mean it's all over the chair and my mom you know i'm like 18 or something and my mom's really opinionated and like outspoken and then so she goes um she's like oh my god did they shake that did they shake that she starts yelling and stuff and then i'm like oh no no

59:22I'm like, please don't draw attention to it. It's already embarrassing enough. Right. Oh, boy. And then she starts yelling, and she's all, can somebody get us a napkin? Can somebody get us a rag? Can somebody get us a rag? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're like, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Exactly. What a mess. It was me, it was me, it was me. Yeah. Now, a flight attendant had to clean all that up. Uh-huh. Clean it up. You know, they just brought over napkins, and I kind of wiped it down, but, you know, I'm sure it was a little sticky for the next guy. Yeah. That's terrible. Thank you, Amanda. I'm sitting in that. You have a good one? 570-1949. Call us right now if you have seen a great flip out or if you have been a part of one. And what got you there? What got you to the point where you just flipped out? I've seen couples fighting on planes and stuff before. Me and the missus are really good. It's like the number one spot to get in a fight with your significant other is at an airport and then you have to get on a plane and you just hate each other. You know what kills me? I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this, but you're on a flight and you're on the window. Woods, maybe you can relate because you're a window guy like me. I like the window, yeah. Because I'm a little kid. Yep. We all are. Even if we're grown up, we're all little kids inside. So I like to look out the window. So I close the window, you know, a little plastic flimsy. Shield. Shield. Sheath. Yeah. And, you know, there's a couple of strangers next to me. And we're flying.

1:00:45And at some point I, you know, wake up or whatever. Maybe I dozed off and I wake up and I open the window back up and they go. Oh, yeah. Easy little stat. Yeah, exactly. Edward Cullen. Yeah. You'll be fine. I'm like, I'm on the window, bro. Yeah. That's why I sit here. That's part of the reason I won't sit at the window. I'm like, I don't know what, because if I don't want the sun in my eyes and I want to sleep, like I want to close the thing. But then you always get the person that's like. They're so put out. Yeah, they're so mad at you. Too much responsibility. You're like, hey, dude, if it means that much to you, why don't you sit in a window seat? Maybe you sign up earlier for the flight. That's right. M1 Anthony is on the line from Carlsbad. Are you there, Anthony? Yes, I am, Mikey. How are you guys? Good, dude. All right. Long time listener. First time caller here. Right on, dude. We love having you. Yeah, yeah. Awesome. Awesome. No, I appreciate it. What happened? You guys make my drive. All right. Well, I was in college. I was coming back home from a semester. I was going to school in Illinois. I was on one of the football teams out there. And flying back to California, where I'm originally from. And it's, you know, wintertime. And we're on Chicago O'Hare, which is just, I don't know if you guys have ever traveled there. It's like the bar from Star Wars, you know? Yeah, yeah. It is. I mean, the place is nuts. So, you know, long flight. You know, we get on the plane.

1:02:11Uh, we, we taxi out and all of a sudden, you know, I just hear this, you know, kind of commotion going on where the stewardess is like, sir, you know, you have to shut your laptop like that and all this stuff. This is like eight or nine years ago. This is pretty close after, uh, uh, 9-11. Yeah. So I was on X-Jails anyway, and it's all happening behind me. So I can't see what this guy looks like. And, and, and, you know, the stewardess is just like, sir, you know, I've told you a number of times like that. So I just, you know, I always take the window seat so I can relate to you guys there. I'm a bigger guy. I like to lean against the window, and I usually put my shades on and just pass the hell out. So I'm not in the mood for any of this crap, and I stand up, I turn around, and I'm just like, look, enough is enough. I'm talking all this eggshells crap like... Wow. Don't shut your laps up. I'm going to climb over these seats. I'm going to shut it for you. Oh, my God. You were the flip-out guy. It's too late. Now, did his eyes get as big as saucers when you were yelling at him? Oh, yeah, dude, it was awesome. Oh, yeah, he was probably scared to death.

1:03:36The great part about the whole thing was after they got this guy off the plane, I guess they arrested him, whatever, for noncompliance. And so finally we take off. They have to make a report so it's another 45 minutes. Oh, my gosh. That's terrible. That's terrible. So the great thing about it is once we finally take off and everyone's going about their way on the flight, I get up to go to the bathroom and there's this kind of like... you know, unsung look that I'm getting from everybody where they're just kind of like, give me a thumbs up. Slow clap. Good job. Thank you, big football player guy. Thank you. Hey, Anthony, I appreciate the phone call, man. Thanks. That's Anthony. That's so funny. New guy. First time caller. M1 Kelsey from North County. You there? Kelsey? Yeah. You used to be a flight attendant. Oh. I used to be a flight attendant, yeah. And I only flew on the really small jets. You know what? My wife's good friend Jamie used to do that. She was on only the small planes. She only did the small planes. That's all you did, right? All I did, the 50-seaters. It was great. Yep. And so did you have a doozy? So many. You wouldn't believe it. This one time I was flying from New Jersey to Washington, D.C., and there was a woman, and she had a toddler, and she refused to put the toddler in a seat. Straight up refused. The kid was like...

1:05:05Five years old. So she just wanted the kid to sit on her lap? Yeah. Was it like a five-year-old? Yeah, the kid was huge. What was... Hey, Kelsey, do you remember what her rationale was? Well, and it was true. She would put the kid in her own seat and the kid would throw the biggest tantrum you've ever seen. Oh, my God. Maybe discipline your kid. Yeah. Out of control. Maybe give your kid whiskey so he'll go to sleep. Oh, my gosh. Just a little bit. Just a little taste. Just a fingertip. It was out of control, but this woman made it so hard for me. Oh, I'm sure. Oh, my. I bet. How old are you, Kelsey? 24. Oh, my gosh. How old were you when you did this? Like 20 through 23. And what was the company line on that? Like when something like that happened, what were you supposed to do? We were stuck on the tarmac. We couldn't leave. Oh, boy. What finally happened? Well, we had to go back to the gate. This woman threw throw-up bags at me. Oh, wow. They weren't full, but she was taking them out of the seats and chucking them at me. Oh, my gosh. What a nightmare. I know. And the captain's not supposed to do this, but the captain got up, went to the back of the cabin, and skizzed a finger in this woman's face and started yelling at her. I've never seen a captain do that in my life. Oh, man. Did it calm her down, or did she argue back? Oh, she shut up.

1:06:34Oh, I bet, yeah. You know what's so ironic is that she disciplined you more than she disciplined her kid. I know. You got it worse than the kid. Would it have been wrong for the captain to grab her by the ear and just pull her out like a little kid, like your mom used to do? Probably not. Take notes, miss. Gosh, now do you feel a little bad for Mr. JetBlue? I always felt bad for JetBlue guy from the beginning. I mean, you know, but I just thought his reaction was... I got to admit, I walked off of the plane and I walked into the jet bridge and I couldn't go anywhere. I couldn't. You were done. I couldn't get back on the plane. Hey, you acted professional though, Kelsey. You didn't flip out on the person and grab a couple brewskis and jump off. But she had three years on the job. Did you take a couple brewskis with you on your way out? No. Oh, it was tempting. Kelsey had three years on the job. Imagine, Kelsey, if you had 25 more of that kind of BS. Right, she still wouldn't be taking a jumpy ride, tarmac ride. Wasn't she? No. It was awful. I know Kelsey. I've known Kelsey for 45 seconds. We go way back. We go way back.

1:07:39I've had other women arrested off of my airplane, taken off of my airplane in handcuffs. It's something about me. I don't know. Yeah, the ladies really get mad at you. Yeah. Were you frequently flying out of New Jersey? Because that might have been the case. Yeah. You shut your mouth. Kelsey, what do you do now? I'm a chiropractic PT tech. Nice. There you go. Maybe you fixed my back. Yeah. Maybe make it right with L.O.B. She went to a chiropractor for the first time yesterday. Yep. Wow. Yeah. She's in pain still. Worse than before. Worse than before. Great. Keep going. There you go. Keep going. Just pour money into it. Definition of insanity. Thank you, Kelsey. We appreciate the phone call. Thank you. That's a great call. My chiropractor's great. Mine is too. I'm sure I'll get there. You know what I'm saying? I've never been. Scary. Word of the day is zebra.

1:08:43So when you hear the word zebra worked into a sentence, caller number nine at 5701-949 wins. Charger, air tickets. Coil's been walking up and down the hallways. Pacing. Pacing. Silly little man. Get your temperature on this one. This is pretty crazy, man. This is going to trip you out. This is someone that is actually running for a U.S. Senate seat. Not only that, this person. is also being linked to a dirty website, which he denies. Barack Obama is the worst president in history. Now, that's just the beginning of his television commercial. When we come back, we'll play the entire commercial. The person may be nuts. And also, when we come back, we're going to be doing BB Gun Spelling. It's next. Don't go away. It's Mikey.

1:10:38Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, you may have heard about the Cathedral Catholic High School graduates that were killed in a car accident. Really sad. It happened on Monday. And yesterday, more than 200 people gathered at the Encinitas Beach, or at an Encinitas Beach, to remember the two former high school athletes and a coach. It was really sad. They were killed in the Bishop's area near the eastern Sierra Nevada. Also, have you heard of the Granddad Bandit? Not the geezer bandit here, but there's the granddad bandit. Is it back east or something? Yeah. He's been suspected. Louisiana. Yeah, he's from Baton Rouge. He's been suspected in two dozen bank robberies across 13 states. He was captured yesterday. No. I haven't caught our geezer bandit. I know. That's true. What's going on in sports, Woods? Dude, crazy story last night in New York. New York Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez, also known as K-Rod. Mm-hmm. Apparently he got in a fight with his father-in-law. Not a good thing to do. He punched him, got taken and dragged off to jail, man. So, dude, this guy has been traditionally kind of a train wreck. He got in a fight with one of the Yankees in the middle of warm-ups one day. Got in a fight with his manager before. He's kind of unstable at best. And I just read an article quickly. It says Merriman tweet.

1:11:56Dispute report of his return? Question mark? Oh, wow. His tweet said, all reports of me reporting to camp this weekend would come from the team San Diego Chargers, not quote-unquote sources. I have no idea what that means, but I wanted to tell you, and maybe you can make some sense of it. Read it to me again. This is Merriman's tweet? This is Merriman's tweet. All reports of me reporting to camp this weekend would come from the team San Diego Chargers, not... sources because everything we're seeing is sources report sources report and he's basically saying hey if i was coming the sources would be the san diego chargers so wouldn't that more confirm that he's i think it's i think it's saying that that it's not no to me it sounds like he's saying all these sources are from the chargers they're saying i'm coming back yeah like there's no alleged sources don't know you know it's one of those deals let's see 56 getting out of his car walking towards camp with a little backpack, then I'll be on board. The cryptic world of Twitter. I know. God, Twitter is just very confusing. We're going to be doing the BB gun spelling bee here in a minute. Oh, boy. We're going to be giving Woods and Jay some words, and they will have to spell the words. And if they can't spell the words, then BB gun. Now, I'm going to tell you, for those of you that are listening that are, you know, you got kids or whatever, this was, we talked about this.

1:13:20excited to do the bit, and I think it's going to be a lot of fun. But I just want to say, first of all, kids, don't do it. Don't do this at home. Second of all, we are professionals. And the reason I say that is because Jay's on the show. Yeah, Jay is a professional. Jay knows what he's doing. And this BB gun, Jay has assured me, is not going to. puncture any skin. This is one that he has let his eight-year-old son play with. Seven-year-old. I'm sorry. I always say eight. I don't know why. So anyway, we're going to be doing the BB Gun Spelling Bee here in just a second. But first, how about the audio of Dan Quayle's son, Ben? He is running for office. First of all, you may be young. Sienna, you probably don't remember Dan Quayle, right? I mean, I know the name, but I don't remember the specifics. Dan Quayle was... Speaking of spelling bee. Yeah, speaking of spelling bee. He misspelled the word potato, which was a big, funny thing. Not only did he misspell the word potato, but he, in general, was very well known for just saying dumb things.

1:14:32He just said dumb stuff all the time. Was he actually our vice president under Bush, the first Bush? Which is funny because we have a similar vice president that doesn't know how to keep his foot out of his mouth. Yeah, Biden. Which, by the way, I don't even know if we talked about it, but a lot of people are kind of calling for Hillary Clinton to be vice president and for Obama to move Biden out of that vice president spot and have Hillary Clinton be vice president. Anyway, Dan Quayle has a son named Ben who is running for Senate. Yeah, he's running as a Republican for an open house seat in Arizona. Let me tell you, this television commercial that he has is the most awkward television commercial I've ever seen. I mean, he could not look more stiff. But listen to what he says. Barack Obama is the worst president in history, and my generation will inherit a weakened country. Drug cartels in Mexico, tax cartels in D.C. What's happened to America? I love Arizona. I was raised right. Somebody has to go to Washington and knock the hell out of the place. Oh, God. My name's Ben Quayle, and I approve this message.

1:16:02That was just like a series of non sequiturs. Yeah. What the heck? It's nonsense. And not only is it nonsense, I don't think that it could make him look any dorkier. Yeah, nerdy. I love Arizona. Yeah. When he does the thing where he goes, somebody needs to go to Washington and knock the hell out of the place. Yeah. I'm like, really? I was born in Arizona. I have a swimming pool. My dad has a car. I went to school when I was a little kid. Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Pizza's my favorite food. I had a teddy bear when I was a little boy. That's what he sounds like. It's kind of unrelated. It's not vibing. Bombs go boom. Bombs go boom. Boom goes the dynamite. Potato starts with P. Yeah. That's terrible, man. Wait till you see it, man. You gotta see it. He looks just all stiff. Dude, it's so weird. Put it on your blog or something. No, you don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. You don't?

1:17:01Uh-uh. We've showed him like five times, but that's okay. That's a true statement. That's embarrassing. Sorry. I learn by... Now maybe I don't. What? I learn by watching, do I? You learn by doing. I learn by doing, do I? Ready for the BB gun spelling bee? Yeah. Come on, baby. Let's do it. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Are we ready? Yeah. I'm nervous. Who is the gunman? Gunman? We're both gunmen. Oh. Yeah. I can do it. No. You have to participate. In fact, Sienna. You don't get to shoot. Sienna, I want you to come around and share a mic with me. Okay. You too, L.O.B. Me? Headphones or no? Headphones off. You don't need any headphones. You guys are clowns. You won't need them. Can I bring my coffee? Yeah. I just want to make sure that we're as safe as possible. Bring your green hat. Chris, if you're going to take pictures, I want everybody out of any sort of harm's way. Okay? I got the keys. Got the keys to the place. I got to make sure that I'm... Yeah, make sure you're doing it right. Make sure I'm doing it right. Oh, my gosh. Lauren just put her sweatshirt over her head. Her hoodie sweatshirt. Big time in the camera. Big time in the camera. Hey, Mike, can I get a mic check on the hallway mic here real quick? Sibilance. Sibilance. Cannot hear it, but we probably don't have it turned on. Turn it on. Oh, turned on. Yeah, which one? Mic, the one. Two or one? One. Check, check, check, check. Yep. Wait, wait. Check again.

1:18:37Nope. There it is. Do it again. Check, check, one, two, one, two. I can turn it up. We got it now. We got it. All right, so here's, let me describe, I'm going to describe what we're doing here, okay? We have the FM 94.9 studio door propped open. We have a, we have a Daisy BB gun. We are going to have Woodsy be the first. I'll go first. Yeah, you're the first spelling bee person. And so Woodsy is going to go out into the hallway where we have a microphone set up. Okay. Jay is approximately, how many feet would you say? 26. 26 feet away. I go in there now? Yeah, you go in there. And I'm going to give Woodsy a word. Oh, wow. And if Woodsy gets the word right, he's good to go. If he gets the word wrong, BB gun time. All right? Oh, my gosh. This is one of the weirdest things. I'm ready. So weird. Woo! Jay, you have to stand over here, right? Yeah, I was going to stand here until you're ready, but okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm ready. Jay looks like a Civil War soldier. Yeah, he's holding the butt of the onion like a Civil War soldier. He's putting on a fedora. Yeah. Clean this up. All right, Woods. Yes. He's holding the microphone. You ready, Woods? I'm ready. All right, your first word is conscientious. Oh, wow. You can see a squinting of the eyes. Conscientious. Conscientious. C-O-N.

1:20:01S-C-I-E-N-C-I-T-I-O-U-S. Conscientious. That is incorrect. Woods is now bending over, showing his bottom. And Jay is aiming, pointing, and... Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, yeah! Ooh, that's smart. Ooh, that's smart. I wouldn't say it's smart. Ooh, mama. We are videotaping this. Get you good? Get you real good? Yeah, you got me. Get you real good. Poor Jay. Yep. Jay's will be cat. I hope it's cat. Man, if it's cat, I'm all good. Are you ready, Jay? I feel ready. Jay, your word is, how many times did you just cock that? Just once. You can only do it once. You can only cock that one once. Okay. Jay's word.

1:21:04is daiquiri. You should know that. This is easy. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and get in the position. It's D-I-Q-U-I-R-E. Daiquiri is spelled D-A-I-Q-U-I-R-I. Oh wait, Woodsy. Did you see how far Woodsy walked out? Come on, Woodsy, back up. He's about to hit him inside the gun. No, I didn't. Stop crying. Oh my gosh. In the butt. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Holy cow. Wow. Did that get you? Yeah, you got me real good. You got me real good. Yeah, you got me right there. Right on the, right on the cliff. Yeah, right on the cliff. Yeah. Woods, you ready? Apparently. All right, here we go. Woods, your word is minuscule. Minuscule.

1:22:12M-I-N-I-S-C-U-L-E. Minuscule. Minuscule is spelled M-I-N-U-S-C-U-L-E. Alright, Woodsy is out in the hallway. He is bent over. Jay has the gun up. BB gun. Oh, wow! I can't believe the both of them, too. They wore shorts. I know. I meant to wear jeans, too. They wore shorts. Does it hurt? He told me he said left cheek this time, Jay. Left cheek. He picked his cheek. Oh, my God. Let's do one more for each of you. That's it? Yeah, I don't know if you guys are willing to go more. I don't know. You ready, Jay? Yep. Jay might as well assume position. Jay, now hang on. Come on. You got to give it a shot. Your word is questionnaire. Jay just looked at me with eyes that said, why? Q-U-E-S-T. Put the paper down. It's got two pieces of paper there, so you can't see. I-N-A-I-R. No. That is incorrect, Jay. Questionnaire is spelled. Look how far Woods moves up. I'm not. I'm so excited. Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-N-A-I-R-E. That was close. Jay, what cheek? Well, the mic's kind of in the way, so. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Look at him. Woods, he's got.

1:23:46The BB gun up. He's pointing. And? Nope. Nothing came out. Hold on. Misfire. Misfire. Oh, my gosh. Shake it again. Wiz is enjoying this too much. Come on. Come on. How do you do it? Shake it. Shake it like this. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. This thing is older than dirt. Ready? God bless. That was the same exact spot. Yeah, move that around a little bit. Oh, my gosh. Man. One more word. Oh, boy. The whole thing makes me nervous. This is like our job. This is what we do. What do we do for a living? Ow, that really did hurt. That stings a little. You ready, Woodsy? Yeah. Your word is amateur. Amateur. A-M-A-T-E-U-R. Amateur. Yes! Woo! I'm not getting to shoot you again. Hey, Santa, will you look and see if there's a baby stuck in my butt cheek? There's not. I'm just teasing. I heard it hit the ground. Jay?

1:24:53Yes, okay, whatever. Your word is? Perseverance. Perseverance. P-E-R-S-E-R-V-A-N-C-E. That is incorrect, Jay. Two in a row. Those are the thinnest little shorts. I know, they're like spandex. I'm trying to get you right in the pocket. Better? I've been over way too tight on that one. One more, one more. You ready? Man, if I get shot, one more. time. Woods? Yeah. Your word is liaison. Liaison. L-I-A-S-I-O-N. Wrong? That is incorrect. L-I-A-S-I-O-N. L-I-A-I-S-O-N. All right, let's go right cheek. Right cheek. I looked up all these words and I triple checked my spelling because I didn't know. Woods is 26 feet away.

1:26:04You have heard the first no, no, we're all good. Are we done? We're done You've heard the first ever BB gun spelling bee won't be the last Oh my goodness. Oh, man. That was awesome. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh I am That made me so nervous. I'm telling you that made me so nervous Okay, so here's what I got for you. Besides that, I'm looking out the windows because I'm like, oh my gosh, the manager's here. That was so funny to watch. That was the best. Every time they got hit, they would jump up. That was the best. Just sadist. Okay, in case you didn't know, Jennifer Aniston recently said that women don't need men to have children. Bill O'Reilly obviously heard this.

1:27:03And Bill O'Reilly obviously didn't take kindly to it. And Bill O'Reilly had this to say. Tonight, the culture warriors, we begin with actress Jennifer Aniston, who told the press, quote, women are realizing more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have a charm. When we come back, we'll play the rest of his comments. They were pretty spicy and making news today. We'll play it next. 97.1 Eagle. It's crap. Welcome back. You want me to go make you some hot tea, pal? Would that help you? Maybe that would help. Some chamomile? Sweet chamomile. Wow, he's really going. He is. I didn't think he was going to do that. He's in pain. He is? I know. He said it hurt. He said his butt has little marks. Yeah. Oh, gosh. It was like a safari in here. Sienna and I to participate. Yeah. You guys aren't going to participate. Well, Wood suggested maybe Sienna participate and whoever looked at him like, really? You want to get a pregnant woman in there? We don't have any cups here. We don't. Yeah, of course. I was going to make you a handful, but I think you can lap it out of my hands like a little deer. I have a mug. I'll give you a mug. You're great. You won't drink out of it, dude. Yeah. I'm going to be going up to, we want to get a drink here.

1:29:20We go to the little water reserve like a zebra. Yeah, a little watering hole. The watering hole. The way I do it is I just go to the sink, turn it on, and use my hands. Yeah. That's the way you do it. You go to Costco, spend $10. Yeah, let's do it. I'll chip in. We all pitch in. Get like three years worth of cups. Three years of cups. Done. Let's do it. I'll do it today. Not today. One day. I'll do it today, will I? Will you? No, you won't. I'll do it today. Will you? I won't. Jennifer Aniston made people mad because she said that you don't need men to have children. She's making headlines because she's 41. She's single. And she wants to have kids. She's right. You don't technically. Well, no, you do need a man to have children. Not technically. Not a partner. Well, yeah, but you do need a man. No, you don't. Yeah, you do. No, you don't. How can you not? That took a man. But you need the sperm. You need the sperm. Right. So you do need. You need a man's body parts. You don't need to make love. Right. You don't even have to make love. And that's what she's saying. And that you can do it on your own once you get the sperm. Right. It is physically impossible without some parts of a man to do it. The fluids. The fluids. But. Yes. Yes. Thank goodness you guys explained that one. So we.

1:30:45We wanted to make sure nobody thought that you need parts. You don't need parts. So here is what Bill O'Reilly had to say about it. Tonight, the Culture Warriors, we begin with actress Jennifer Aniston, who told the press, quote, women are realizing more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have a child. There are millions of single moms. mother should do a great job recently a great time and everything and they're abandoned and and they're all kind and they and they do it's it's possible but it's not optimum and that's where miss anison makes her mistake that she's throwing a message out to twelve-year-olds and thirteen-year-olds okay but hey you don't need a guy you don't need a dad dad you know because that's destructive to our society agree or disagree Jennifer Aniston's core audience is not 12 and 13-year-old girls. That doesn't matter. They're still hearing it. Yeah, but they don't care what Jennifer Aniston has to say. They care what the Jonas Brothers and the Twilight people have to say. She's more talking to someone like me. You're probably right. Who's like 29 years old, that's single, that, you know, I might have to do what she's talking about. I agree with you. Her audience is not 12-year-olds. So, yeah, I'll go with that. How about this?

1:32:06And young people, you're right, they do not have the cognitive ability to know the difference of a 40-year-old woman who's financially stable having a child and a 16-year-old girl having a child. Yeah, Addison can hire a battery of people to help her, but she cannot hire a dad, okay? And dads bring a psychology to children that is, in this society, I believe, under-emphasized. Agree or disagree? Agree. I agree with that statement. Do you agree with that statement, Lauren? I somewhat agree, yeah. What part not? I don't agree that she's sending messages to 16-year-olds because, like I said, I don't think 16-year-olds care what Jennifer Aniston says. What about the psychology of a dad, that that's important to a child? It is, and it's, like he said, it's optimal, and it's an ideal situation, but not every person finds themselves in an ideal situation, and not every person finds the right guy, and Jennifer Aniston's had her heart broken, and she's... Put her career first. So she's reaching that age where she's like, I want a child. I'm not just going to marry John Mayer or some Joe Schmo. I agree. I mean, listen, she's decided that she wants to have a child. So she's going to do it this way. I guess the thing that bums me out is the implied.

1:33:27non-necessity of a man for a child. A father figure. There seems to be a discounting of the father figure. Yeah, I would like to hear what the context of what she said was and exactly what she said. Knowing her and knowing how she's constantly being asked, hey Jen, when are you going to settle down? When are you going to have a baby? It's something that she wanted with Brad Pitt and unfortunately he cheated on her and now is with Angelina Jolie. So it's like... She hasn't found that partner, that optimal partner, but she's like, okay, I'm 41. There's not going to be, you know, much more opportunity. I think men get hosed all day long in the parental arena. Do you think they've earned it? Because I got to tell you, of the 30% of single families, a full two-thirds of them, no, I'm sorry, a full 80% of them are single families that are run by mothers, not fathers. And any man who leaves their children is not a man. Okay? Let's make that perfectly clear. But the fathers who do try hard are underappreciated and diminished by people like Jennifer Aniston. Well, I think Jennifer Aniston is simply making the point. I agree, she's glamorizing single parenthood. She's glamorizing single parenthood. She's diminishing the role of the dad. She is, but we don't know if it's because she is that person. I don't care why it is. If she wants to explain it, she can get her butt right in here. All right, Jennifer? Well, with that kind of invitation, I'm sure she's on her way.

1:34:52Well, part of me that goes, eh, does kind of sound like there's a diminishing of the father. Me too. It sounds like he knows a man or there's something personal to him, you know, like that, you know, someone that he cares about who is a father and a good one has been hurt. I know, I mean, I know a few. Yeah, there's a lot. I have personal friends that just seem to just get, you know, just killed by the courts and by everything else. The courts favor the mothers. I mean, always, always. Almost without exception. You know what I mean? Oh, absolutely. I know guys that have turned their lives upside down for their children. And, you know, one of my best friends is going through it right now. And it's killing him. It's killing him. And I see a lot of that points. But, hey, you know what? A woman like Jennifer Aniston, she doesn't need a man around per se. She's got the financial means to support it. She can do whatever she needs to do. But that child is going to grow up. um, without that father figure. And that's, that's a tough thing to do. Yeah. That's the only thing. I mean, the, the only thing that I, I, I, I see there is that the, the child be well fed. Yeah. She's got good. She makes a good living. Yep. But I mean, the dad.

1:36:01But it's important, too, for a child to see a stable relationship. And then they know for when they grow up what's to be expected. Because think about it like this, if you guys will. She has a kid, and whether she has it naturally or she adopts it or whatever, that child grows up with his single mom who's going to be dating. She's going to be dating probably a few different random people. That's not really what you want to see either. And you do. All hearsay also. Percentage of chances are that you, well, and this is just data. Data suggests that we do what we were raised in. Right. That's what data suggests. There's always exceptions to it. But data suggests that if you come from a family of divorce, your chances of getting a divorce are much higher. So it doesn't mean that we don't defy those odds every day because we do. But I just, I don't know. I mean, I think that a... A dad, his role is really important, man. Anyway, M1 Leprechaun from North Park. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Go ahead. I was actually going to agree with you guys about the role of a father figure and how important it is. I mean, physically speaking, you don't need a man to make a child, but there's a relationship with a father and a daughter that form her relationship with every guy down the line, from boyfriends to marriage, etc.

1:37:30And there's a real decline in the trend going on between fathers and daughters. I think it's really sad. And things like this comment by Jennifer Anderson. Things like that comment, though I don't disagree that she doesn't need one per se, I don't think it helps the situation in general. It's not ideal. Yeah, it's definitely not ideal. It's not ideal, but I really don't think that her context was to say, like, it's not important to have a father figure. I think she just meant that if I can't find the right guy, it doesn't mean that I'm doomed to not have the child that I always wanted. I can do it myself. Yeah, I think that's more of what, because she hasn't. I mean, she's been looking for a long time. I think here's the question. Yeah, you can, but should you? Should you? I think... She's said publicly for the last 10 years that she wants a child. So it's like if you just can't find the right relationship but science allows you to have that, then... I disagree with it. Especially with girls, though. I was a girl growing up from a young age that knew I need to be a mom, I need to be a mom, I need to be a mom. If I didn't find my husband or someone to help me be a mom, then I would absolutely do everything in my power to do it on my own if that's what I needed to do to be a mom and to do what I've always wanted.

1:38:51I don't think that's the best situation for the kid. Is that selfish? That's exactly the word, dude. I would never say that to you. My wife is the exact same as you. She'd kick a guy in the knee today to get a kid, you know what I mean? Without question. Is that selfish because it's what you want? Well, what if she's going to adopt? Isn't it better? That's selfless. Isn't that better than having a kid in a... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's a selfless act, though, adoption. It's not selfless. Well, she's still getting what she wants, but she's also helping somebody else. It's mutually beneficial. Yeah, she is, but it's still not the optimum situation for that kid. Isn't it better than bouncing around foster homes? Isn't being a kid in a family with a mom and a dad better than being a kid that's healed up? But what if that doesn't happen for that kid? You can always say that there's better than. That's true. I believe having one good, solid parent. is better than not having either one. Yeah, I can live with that. Or, I mean, you may have a dad figure, and maybe he isn't ideal. Or you may have a mother figure, maybe she isn't ideal. I mean, you just never know. So if she can provide and she thinks that she's good enough to maybe do both jobs, she might as well try. Hey, what's up? We got M1 Winder from Carlsbad. What's up, Winder? What up, guys? How's it going? What's going on? Hey, I get tired of, like, dads getting a bad rap. There's a lot of deadbeat dads out there, but there are a lot of good ones.

1:40:18And it seems like in Hollywood nowadays, you turn around, Angelina Jolie, all these different people, they're just like adopting kids. It's like the trendy thing to do. But I think it's so important to have a dad in your life. I grew up, we had a dad, but he was never around. And you learn from it, bad or good. And if you don't have someone there to help you, I mean, these kids grow up, you know, we talk about it all the time, how they grow up without a mom or a dad or a dad away or in prison and things like that. We wonder what's wrong with society. I think it's really important to have a dad. Well, you know, and Angelina and Brad are married, so that's, you know. No, they're not. Oh, I'm sorry. They're together, though. They're raising the kids together. Just in general, though. Yeah, I mean, at least they're doing it together. Right. Yeah, they are not married. But, Winder, aren't you eternally grateful for the job that your mom did to compensate for your dad not being around? Yeah, but, you know, it would have been a lot better. I would have learned a lot more. I mean, grew up a messed up kid because my dad was never there. And when he was, you know, it wasn't good. It's one of those things that I think it takes two. That's what I mean. From day one, it's been two, mother and father, to parent and give the kids what they need. I think it's so important. Hey, Winder, thanks, man. Thanks, brother. All good points, man. Thank you, dude. Have a good day. You got it. M1, hang on a second because we haven't got to Scott yet. Scott, are you there? Yeah, hey, how you guys doing? Scott, what was the word of the day? The word of the day was zebra. That is correct.

1:41:39Word of the day was zebra, and I said it. I didn't even get it. You didn't hear it? No. I heard it for about a second, and then I rushed to the phone. The way that I said it was, I said, yeah, in order to get a drink around here, you got to sneak up on a little reservoir like a zebra and take a drink. Oh, you did, you little son of a gun. I didn't even notice either. No, I didn't notice. I heard it. Look at you, you slickster. That's right. Well, Scott, you're going to get to go see the Chargers and the Bears this weekend. Congratulations to you, dude. Thank you, guys. Appreciate it. You got it, Amy. We already get your information? Not yet, no. All right, hang on. We'll get your info. You're going. Good save, Michael. That was. Hopefully they'll sell some tickets and be able to see it on TV. Right now it's a blackout. If you didn't hear that earlier, it's a blackout for the Charger game this weekend. Bummer. Hey, can I say something real quick? Sure, Hoyle. You're going to say it anyway. Exactly. What if we say no? It wouldn't matter. I'm still going to tell you. Exactly. I was going through some of the podcasts. Weird. What's weird about it? I don't know. Tell me. I have a right to go through the podcast. I'm the station's manager. Allegedly. We know. And I was listening to some of the material. You like it? It's funny, huh? It's funny. Do you like your bits?

1:43:01My bits are the funny ones. Clearly. Clearly. But I was thinking a couple things. Number one, I think it's about time I air check y'all. Oh, really? We're going to start this bit? You have no authority over us. Why do you need to air check us? Well, because y'all are in the learning stage. No. Some of us are. Some of us are not. Yeah. You're always in the learning stage. I guess you're right. I am in the learning stage. I'm a purple belt in karate. You know how I got there? How? Practice and learning. I wouldn't be a purple belt in karate today if I didn't practice and learn. How long has it taken you to get to that purple belt? Seven and a half years. That's one of the lowest belts, I think. I think it's like the first one. The first is maybe the third. I think the white one's the first one. Oh, yeah, white. Then you get a couple stripes. White, yellow. My plaid. Paisley. But as I was going through the tapes, I noticed something that I thought I'd bring up. Okay. That doesn't sound good, you guys. I know, I'm a little nervous. Well, the blonde over there is a pervert. Oh, yeah. Jay? Jay? Not that blonde. Which one? Me? Yes, that's right, Lauren. Well, fair enough. True. I don't think anyone will disagree. No. Oh. You are an FCC violation waiting to happen. I've been dumped a couple times. Hey, we ain't talking about relationships right now.

1:44:27Coyle, you should know as a station manager, when you say a bad word, you push the dump button so listeners don't hear it. FCC regulation. You see what I mean? She's talking about all this stuff. Before you know it, we get an FCC violation. It costs thousands of dollars. Hey, that was in the beginning I got dumped. I don't do that stuff anymore. Don't worry about it. We got something all worked out for you. We're putting in the pervert alarm. In fact, I've already had it installed. Pervert alarm? Like a pervert alert? I had to install the pervert alert. How does that even work? How does the pervert alert work? Pervert alert? I have control alert. Pervert alert. I like that better. So you say something bad. Oh, jeez. The alert goes off. I'm ready for that. Now, that's the deal. Now, you mind your P&Qs. Okay, I will. And then no alert has to go off. Okay, all right. Well, Mikey already talked to me about saying perverted things. Right. So, I don't say that anymore. And apparently, you must have been deaf when he was telling you because you keep saying perverted things. Well, what about Jay? Jay's a man. Oh, man. Jay is a man. I'm aware of that. You are a woman.

1:45:48And? And as a woman, it is not very... What? You better watch yourself. You're on thin ice, pal. You're getting slit real good. You can't just say things like this. Why can't you say things? Say it. What's happening? So because Jay's a man and Lauren's a woman, Lauren cannot do the things he does? Is there something? Did I say something that was... Did you stutter? Yeah, I'm confused right now. So you're saying I can't say this stuff because I should what? Know my place? Definitely know your place. You're a woman. And as a woman, hang on a minute. I'll explain myself. What about your mother? What would she say about this? She would say that that is one dirty, birdie woman. It's true. And Mama would say, Mama's the one that told me I need to have to talk. She thinks the Smurfs are dirty. She didn't have... Smurfs are filthy. You ever watch them backwards? No. Why are you watching the Smurfs backwards? That's a damn good question. I know Smurf, that was a little hoo-ah.

1:46:55You don't need to say that word on the air. Oh, I didn't say it the way that you... You're going to get us an FCC violation if you keep doing it. Okay. All right? This isn't the Howard Stern show. Okay, but Woods says that all the time. What, who? Yeah. That's fine. Where's the meter? What the heck? Well, as you know, Woods is a man, all right? Oh, boy. FCC does not discriminate. A woman is supposed to be, you know... Proper. Prim. In your eyes. Prim and proper. But the FCC doesn't care who says what. The FCC absolutely does. If I put on that transcript, if I say, a woman said this, forget it. Forget it. It's over. Female broadcaster. I was like, oil's taking things a little far. Wow. The pervert alert. I haven't been a pervert in a long time. Like 48 hours. She says stuff all the time that I just sit there and I roll my eyes and I shake my head and I rewind it and I say, I can't have heard what I just heard. And I play it again. The other day she said the word booty. Booty. She's talking about pirate's treasure. Exactly. Now Sienna's on blast too. Oh, Sienna would never do anything like that. She's my sweet little angel. She's crazy. You know, she'd never do anything. You don't have shoes on, do you? I have shoes on.

1:48:24You can't. I know. She's pregnant. She needs to be barefoot. I know. I have sandals on. That's a good one, Hoyle. Have you ever been to a movie that's not G-rated? Because I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about adult films or something. Now you know what I'm thinking? I know. I've gotten onto your train of thought. I know how you go. You start out real innocent, right? And then you work up to something else. Then you use some double entendre and then you go on. A double what? You use a double entendre and then you make it every single time. You're like, oh, I'm so sweet. I'm so innocent. I didn't say anything. Entendre. Entendre. No, but he said entendre. Entendre? That's what it is, right? No. Maybe immobile. It's not perverted. I know what you're doing. Let me tell you something. If you've never heard The Mikey Show do any old-time radio, you're in... For a treat. Meet and greet is tomorrow from 5 to 7 downtown San Diego. Come and meet the Mikey Show. We just got our skinny jeans in the studio. I want you guys to try them on. Yeah, will you? Woods and I just tried on our skinny jeans. And Jay.

1:50:42And I'm mortified. I'm disgusted. You guys, I have to say. No. Nope. There is Sienna. You guys, I saw all of you in them, and it's not as bad as I thought. Sienna. Hideous. I have chicken legs from top to bottom, and I look like an idiot. Woods came out, and I had no idea that was underneath normal pants. Yeah. It's like a skin-tight clothes. Skin-tight. I was five pounds of potatoes in a three-pound bag. What am I going to do? Oh, my God. What am I going to do? Mikey had to go down a size. The size he tried on was a little too baggy. What am I going to do about the boys? You're going to do a little tuck. Do something. Oh, it was fine. Was it? Yes. It was a stapler. Stapled my leg. You wear a cup. I'm mortified. I'm going to sit all night. Those are hard to get off. We have to wear that soon. Yes. You guys, it's going to be fine. And we're going to take lots of pictures. I've had bad dreams. I've had bad dreams where I'm out in public and that's what I'm wearing. Yeah. Well, now it's going to come true. Now it's reality. Now it's reality. Funny thing is some people, that's what they wear. Yeah, I know. Caleb Followell. Yeah, they're built for it. Not everyone. I think Jay.

1:52:04enjoyed putting it. He goes, I can rock these. He walked more than likely. He walked out like skipping almost when he tried his on. For sure. Sienna, what's going on in news? SeaWorld San Diego is raising their first newborn beluga whale. Really? A little terrified about the beluga whale because I saw beluga whales doing it at a very young age. But no. I was at SeaWorld and you go underwater and you see them through the glass. And it was like, whoa, what's going on? I was like seven years old. Mom! Mom, what's that? My mom was there and she was terrified too. But no, this beluga whale was born there and the mother, which is really rare but happens sometimes, abandoned the baby and just... didn't even relate to it at all when the baby was born. So now every two hours, people that work there have to feed the baby, take care of the baby. She's in a separate birthing facility. Burp the baby. But they have to hand feed this little thing. They are hard to breastfeed, I'll tell you that much. I know it. Not for Sienna. That's true.

1:53:11139 pounds, this two-month-old little baby, and they have to feed it with a syringe containing a special mixture of milk, fish oil, ground-up fish, and heavy whipping cream. That's the grossest thing. Sounds delicious. Also, from whipping to whooping. Check out that transition. Amazing segue. Good one. I know. No, on a serious note, whooping cough has hit six more children in the county. I keep talking about it, a huge epidemic getting worse and worse. So if you're around children and infants, make sure you get the booster shot. Make sure they have the shots because this is a really big deal. Woods, what's going on in sports? There's a lot going on in sports, pal. The Chargers game is blacked out as of now for this weekend. Perfect. Unless you're going. Don't get all excited to watch some football Saturday. I know, it sucks. Padres won 8-5 last night over the Pirates. Looking to take it to them again this afternoon. 335 starts. Zach Duke against John Garland. Go get them, Pods. There you go. Let's see. 8 o'clock album tonight on FM 94.9 at the drive-in. Relationship of Command. Rad. I've heard a lot about that band. I need to check it out.

1:54:21I have no idea why I am so fascinated to know this. Sure, Mike. But I have Justin Bieber's allowance and house rules. Oh, gosh. Really, Mike? We all know who Justin Bieber is now, right? Why wouldn't you be interested in my house rules, Mike? We all know who he is, right? Yeah, of course you do, Seattle. Are you born in this country? You know who the hell I am. 16 years old, discovered on YouTube. Girls love him. Yes, and boys. And boys. I haven't decided which one I like yet, but I'll get there. Is that me? No, it's Justin Bieber. But he has the same voice as me? He sounds exactly like you. No, it's Justin Bieber. I was very confused. No, it's Justin Bieber. Okay, okay. What's up, Justin? Hi. Hey, Justin. You can fill in for me while I'm on maternity leave. So people can't hear my real voice. Oh. People can't hear. I was wondering why that was. I'm becoming of age and, you know. It happens. It happens, man. Going through the change. That's right. 16? Yeah, he's 16 years old. So, you know, he travels around the world. His mother has to go. Like every 16 year old. He has curfews. He has allowance. He has rules. Well, first of all, let's discuss.

1:55:33I have no idea what the going rate would be for an allowance for a 16-year-old. Well, it's $40,000 a day for me because I make a lot of money. Are you Justin Bieber or CNN now? I'm Justin Bieber. If you would do some research, you'd know that this is just how he talks. All right. He talks like this. No, he doesn't. He talks like this. Okay. In 30 years. Right now. I'm so confused. Me too. What do you guys think a 16-year-old should get for allowance? $5 a week. No. Oh, please. Maybe $40? $40? I think $5 a week was what I used to get. I think I used to get the same. $10, $15. What are you going to get for $5 a lollipop now? It's gone up. Well, when I was 16, I didn't get allowance because I had a job. I had to get a J-O-B in my house. I think that $20. Oh, man. Maybe I'm really off here. $16 you're driving to. $20 a week. Because of the price of gas, I'm going to say $40 a week. Yeah, I would say that. Will you be my dad? Yeah. Jay, you got a 16-year-old. My kids don't get anything. I don't. Zero. They work. They have to get a job to survive. I'll put groceries on the table. There you go. Roof over their head. Yeah, that's how my parents were. I got a job when I was 15, and never did I see that again. You can earn some money if you mow the yard. Before that, though, Sienna, you were played.

1:56:56paid in gold bricks. Well, right. Well, right. And they still hooked it up with some other things here and there. I want to know where to go. I want the gold. Get me the gold. I want the gold. Jay, did you ever give your kids allowance? No. But what about Jasper? He wants to go somewhere with his friends. You're going to give him money. I want to give him money when he wants to go somewhere with his friends, but what's he going to do? He's got money he didn't even know what to do with. He gets for his birthday and all these things he's got. I've got $100, Dad. What am I going to do? I don't know. What are you going to do? Jenna's like, take me to the toy store, and she fills up the cart. Burns a hole in their pockets real good when you're a kid. So what's Bieber's? Well, you have to keep in mind that Bieber is the one. What? God, I can't even look over there. No, you always cheat. You cheat. I'm like covering my sports stories. Come on. It makes me uncomfortable. I know. I'm about to read it. He goes like a hawk. I know it. What is Lord? Well, you have to keep in mind that Justin Bieber is 16 and he's the one that makes all the money, you know? Yeah. And so the mom is stoked on him. Yeah. But he gets $50 a day. Oh, that's pretty cool. For how much money he makes? He's a millionaire. Yeah, that's ridiculous. $50 a day, what? $350 a week? That's a lot.

1:58:10Well, considering he makes the millions. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he'd be like, where's my taste? Actually, take your taste. You get $350 a week. Yeah, right? I know. There you go. And by the way, what do you do? Well, he says that my- Get girls. Yeah. What? I don't know. Go out with girls and buy little countries and all kinds of stuff. But with that money, what do you do? Buy an iPad? I don't know. What would you do? When you're that famous, though, you get hooked up with everything. It's like you don't even need to buy an iPad. You're going to get one for free. Yeah, I guess so. You know, the clothes people pay you to wear their clothes, you know? Yeah. But he says that his mom wants him to learn how to be very smart with his money. And he said, if I save for a week, then I have a couple of hundred bucks that I can spend on something special. Oh, wow. Like Crystal at the club, I'm sure. Hookers. Yeah, there you go. But he also told some of them. Lauren said something perverted. Lauren, what'd you say? I don't care if you're a man. That one was out of line. That was crazy. You want to get us an FCC violation? What's the matter with you? Megan Hoyle loses his voice in here. The pervert alert. Justin Bieber also shared some of his rules. Since he's 16, you know, his mom does need to enforce some rules. One of them is he must have eight hours of sleep every night.

1:59:29No moonwalking in the bathroom with no shoes on. Nope. That's one of Mikey's rules, too. Another one. Must have eight hours of sleep a night. That's right. Yeah. Study four hours a day in term time. Really? Why git? Git. Why? Because I'm a freaking rock star or whatever he is. That can be gone in a heartbeat. I'm a pop star, Mom. I'm not studying anything. That can be gone in a heartbeat. Know what I'm studying? That little blonde over there, that's what I'm studying. No, I like it. She's keeping him down to earth. I don't believe any of this. I think he's just saying it. Yeah? Yeah. Get good school grades or the show gets canceled. Really? Your mom's not going to cancel the show. No, there'd be riots. Never. Like, there are millions of dollars put into that show, and you get a B? No, not a B, a D. You get a D. We're calling off Philadelphia. I think she would be actually sued if she called off the show. Of course. This last one I do like and I hope is true. He says, be polite to staff or his computer and cell phone will be confiscated. As he should be. Will they? Yeah, I hope so. Hey, she's still his mom. It's true.

2:00:33He's not an adult yet. I can't imagine being 16, having my parents on tour with me. I'd be like, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get Come in, come in, yes? Hello? It's time for old-time radio. Back in the days of the 1920s, this is the way that San Diego radio actually sounded. Instrument is that. I think it was meant to put you to sleep, whatever it was. That is a sliding horn. Trombone. Otherwise known as a sliding horn. In some countries. What is that?

2:01:46The Campbell Playhouse. Campbell's. Orson Welles produces. Orson Welles is a big player back then, dude. Orson Welles produced everything. Oh, yeah. He's running ragged real good every night, downloading audio. Downloading. Full orchestra in tuxedos. How long? Okay, okay. Just for example, pull the curtain back a little bit. What we do for a living. We have a four-hour radio show every day. Talk. And we have stuff scripted out. How long must it have taken them to script out? Did they do this every day? Well, yeah, but we don't script out our words. Right. No, we don't script out our words. They script out their words. I know. I'm saying, how long would it take them to do all this? Well, they read stuff that already exists, you know? What do you mean? Like books. Plays and stuff. Act things out. Oh, I thought they wrote it specifically for their show. Sometimes they had shorts that were written, but... I don't know. Let's ask Jay. He was there. Yeah, what we did was we would all get a room together. Just hammer it out? Just hammer it out. Backpipe. Moving to Scotland. They were just invented. They're taking you to Scotland.

2:03:01Speaking of wine, where's my whiskey? Got an exclusive. Yeah, Helen Hayes. I never promised anything. You signed your life away. Again with the inflection. It's not Maggie. In the beautiful, warm-hearted comedy, what every woman knows. You don't hear things described as warm-hearted comedies. It's beautiful, warm-hearted comedy. J.M. Barry wrote no better play.

2:04:18The setup takes 45 minutes. Maybe just get into the... What if every bit we did... So Lauren's going to be playing the part of TomTom Girl. And what TomTom Girl... She pretends she's actually a device in your car. And what we'll do is we'll play songs by normal artists, and then she's going to read them in a different inflection. I mean, people will be like, all right, next, I'm out. I'll tell you more about it. I'd like to talk about Barry, about Miss Hayes, too, but I... I'd rather give the Times a choice, too. Oh, my God. But before we go, let me read to you the first 17 chapters of the Marvel. The reason I can keep speaking is there was only two channels on the radio. I know. It must be nice. They're captive there. They're captive. I bet their PPM numbers are through the roof. Sure. The only other thing you could listen to at the time was like Morse code. Yeah. Or... Yeah. And I hope when it's over, you'll agree with me. Now, just before we begin, here's a word from Ernest Chapman. Are you kidding me? Get to the bit, pal. ...over a real old American family cookbook. And as I turned the pages, I was particularly struck by the number of different recipes for preparing chicken. The rest of the fun of it, I counted them. And would you believe it, there were 88. Now, of course, some of us like chicken prepared one way, some another. But however we prefer it, roast it to a delicate brown, crisply fried in Southern style. And next on the Mikey Show, we'll talk about all the different ways to roast things. Mostly woods.

2:05:45Now, I think it's because we like chicken so well that Campbell's chicken soup continues to grow so steadily in popularity. Oh, my gosh. Here, indeed, is a chicken that is chicken. Wow. That's amazing. Can you believe? There's 88 ways to prepare chicken. You know, Mikey, I know you guys do 60-second spots. Back then, we did four-and-a-half-minute spots. Good Lord. Campbell's soup's only been around 10 minutes, so. From your first appreciative sip of the golden gleaming broth to the last delicious drop, you'll taste really good. Wow! That's crazy. That's great, dude. That was radio back then. I love it. I love it. I love all time radio. You guys want to do a little ding-dong sing-along? Absolutely. 570-194-9. That's just a little loud thing. Was it? Yes! 570-194-9.

2:06:47What do we got as a prize today, Jay? It's my favorite intro. We have a couple of different things. We've got the tickets to see LCD sound system Wednesday, October 14th at the REMAC. Tickets go on sale August 6th. There you go. Here's how the ding-dong sing-along works. You call us up. I'm going to play you a little bit of a song. The song will abruptly stop, and you've got to take over singing. You could be a man or a woman. The only thing is that you can't say that you can't hear it. And the reason he can't say that is because you can hear it. I know you can hear it. I've made sure of it. You can hear it. If you don't know the song, it's okay. Just be creative, make something up. I'm sure you'll do fine. If you're a creative type person, you're going to do very, very well. 570-1949. M1 Public from Mission Beach. Are you there? Yeah, I'm right here. How you doing? Well? Don't be scared. Don't be scared.

2:07:53Let me ask you, do you know popular music pretty well? I just wouldn't be the first one, but... You can do it. Yeah, you'll do fine. Confidence. You gotta have confidence. When the song stops, you start. Are you ready? Yes. Here we go. Don't you remember you say that you love me, baby? You love me back this way again, baby. Yeah. Mikey, you know that song. Why not? Close. He was creative. Was he creative? Nah, you were creative, was he? Yeah. I think he thought it was a completely different song. Yeah, he did. He thought it was the Carpenter's, so. That's okay, he sang. It wasn't the Carpenter's, it was Cyndi Lauper. But I'm gonna let you win. Woo! Because I'm feeling very generous right now. As you should. I know, I know. Alright, hang on the line. That is the last piece of generosity in me.

2:09:05I'm telling you. Really? Let me tell you why. It's going to get a little bit harder now. Okay. And so, if it is. Don't say that. That means that you've got to step your game up a little bit. Can't do it. Set off the pervert alert. You can't do it. Yes, I can. M1, Sean from Vista. You there? Yeah. Sean, how well do you know popular music? Here and there. Okay. I'll listen to this station enough, I think. Okay. All right, well, when the song stops, you start, if you don't know it, be creative, make something up, okay? Okay. Here we go. That's your creativity, Shawnee. What do you want from me? What do you want from me? What do you want from me? What do you want? I'll tell you. Creativity, my friend. I don't know. Creativity. Sing about the skinny jeans or something. That's right. That song is the jam. That's right. Adam Lambert.

2:10:32I don't believe it. Would you have been able to sing that? No. Yeah, right. That one was a little tough. I would have had no idea. No idea. That's my guilty pleasure. 570-1949 if you want to play the Ding Dong sing-along. The only part I know about it, or the only part that I know is the What Do You Want From Me part. Oh, please, Mike. What do you want from me? My wife loves that song. I do, too. I think every girl loves that song. So glad my wife doesn't. San Diego local, all right? He's from San Diego? Adam Lambert? Is he really? Rancho Bernardo. I wish I knew how to quit you. I didn't know that. Did not know that. American Idol winner? No, he wasn't the winner. Should have been the winner. M1 Fuzzy from Carlsbad? You haven't played yet, right? Or have you? Hello? Fuzzy? Fuzzy, are you there? Fuzzy, are you there? Yes, I'm here. It's a little fuzzy. I can't believe you're there. Fuzzy, have you played yet? I'm so stupid. Have you played Fuzzy? Oh, you are really making me crazy. Oh, Fuzzer. Fuzzy, clean your ears up. Fuzzinator. Fuzzman does. Fuzzanisha. I love his M1 name. Fuzzy? Yes. You ready to play? I'm ready.

2:11:58Alright, let's do this. When the song stops, you start. Here we go. Yes! I just spit all over myself. Yes! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, that was the greatest effort. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I want him to do that for the rest of the day. All of us stood there like, is he going to know it? And then you came out with that man. Fuzzy doesn't disappoint. Fuzzy, let me tell you. It took 80 years to get you on the radio.

2:12:52Worth it. But it was worth every second. Save that clip. I need to hear it every morning. The greatest, Fuzzy. Hang on, Fuzzy. Does anybody know the real words? Don't you know you can't control yourself any longer. My paper is wet. She spit all over her paper. M1, Brittany from San Diego. You there? Oh, that was good. Brittany? Yes, I'm here. You are the last contestant. Are you ready? Oh, I'm more than ready. Okay, I'm going to play this song. When it stops, you start. Be creative if you don't know the lyrics. Jay. Hey, I'm just saying. She's more than ready. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. All right. All right, here we go. She's dead on. Those are the exact words. Here's the deal. She knew she was going to do that to any song that I play. She probably knows the words. Well, whatever. She was prepared. She just wanted to get out chimichanga and cigs. No, in all seriousness, it is really hard to hear it on my phone. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. You almost just got disqualified for saying that. Hang on, Brittany. You won. All right. Thank you, guys. Maybe they're not lying.

2:14:37I want that clip. Oh, yeah. That was fantastic. When we come back, we're going to tell you about something that Sienna introduced me to yesterday. I didn't know anything about it. The baseball baler. Oh, yeah. Got to tell you about the baseball baler. If you don't know, it's pretty awesome. And did you hear about the San Diego probing into an alleged lifeguard nude hazing incident? We'll explain next. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. And Mikey show consists of myself. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. That's Woodsy. He's our sports guy. I am. Lauren O'Brien. She's our assistant producer. Sienna is our news girl. And Jay is our producer. And we also have a phone screener named Grass. So there you go.

2:16:40So what's the deal with this lifeguard deal? All right. I'm a little bit confused by this story, but I was seeing it online last night, and it's here in San Diego. Authorities are investigating into an alleged hazing incident. Apparently, there were four underage Imperial Beach lifeguards. Now, they went out drinking and passed out, and I guess they were posed in some sexually suggestive... ways and photographed during an initiation party for seasonal lifeguards. Weird. I mean, it's a weird situation. One of the rookie lifeguards was naked in some of the pictures. Oh, boy. So there's an investigation underway. Don't do it. What? Don't do it. Lauren. I didn't say anything. I didn't see it. Written all over your face. You wouldn't be a pervert. I did. I was a pervert. Hey, you want to make $14 the hard way? Oh, wow. So this is being looked into very seriously because they were lifeguards and it's a big deal. So we'll be hearing more about it, I'm sure. The sheriff's department's looking into it. The baseball baler. Have you guys heard about the baseball baler? Of course. The reason they call him the baseball baler is because it was at a Houston Astros game. And it's a boyfriend, a girlfriend. They're sitting out in the outfield in the bleachers and he hits a ball.

2:18:06The ball comes flying at him and instead of being chivalrous and standing in front of the ball or catching the ball. Yeah, go for the ball. Guy jumps out of the way and it hits his girlfriend. He jumps like four seats out of the way. Yeah. And she's stuck there because she's on the end. She can't go anywhere. She's on the rail, like right against the wall. Right. She can't go anywhere. So he bails because he's not sitting next to anyone and she's pushed against the rail. Sally. All I know is that. Woodsy is very athletic, and he's a baseball player. If that ball had come to Woodsy, he'd have caught it. I'd go for balls that are 60 rows away. I'm like, oh, it's coming. Here we go. Here we go. This is us. This is us. Oh, no, that's not us. Did you just say you knew it? Yes, I did. I knew it. Goodness. So they interviewed this guy. because he bailed on Sarah. Sarah, you knew the ball was coming your way. You told me when you got these seats, where was your boyfriend here? You know, as soon as I got here and I saw her sitting, I was like, baby, I'm going to get hit. And he was like, no, no, you're not. I'll catch it if you do. Oh! And then sure enough, the ball comes at me, and I go, baby! And he just bailed. What happened, Bo? You did. You just left her. She's got the seam marks.

2:19:20Her first mistake is that she called him baby. Yeah, yeah. Baby! Baby! More than once. Baby! We were sitting there and I was like, baby, we're going to get us a ball today. I was like, baby, I'm going to get hit. And then I was like, baby! Baby! She's young. As soon as that ball hit me, I looked down and I lost my fake ID. He's not athletic. That's the deal. He looks athletic. He looks athletic. He's wearing an Astro shirt. I look Mexican. I can't speak one word in Spanish. This is true. But you don't bail on your girlfriend. I mean, he's not like... Dude, it makes it so much worse that they had that conversation. Yeah, and he said, I got you, I got you. Yeah, yeah, I got you. I'll take care of you. Like, she was sitting in perfect foul ball territory, you know? Like, that's where the balls go. That's right. I hate sitting there. I love it. So did she hit in the face or what? No, the arm. Elbow. They got her good. Really? Yeah. The ball was coming, and I was going to catch it, but then it was in the lights, and I lost. He lost in the lights. I was going to catch it, and then I was like, baby.

2:20:25I lost it in the lights. The lights, they're just so bright I couldn't see. Yeah, missed it. Just misjudged it. You know what? Usually I bring my eye black to the games, you know, because I want to make sure that I... That's a bit, by the way. Yo, caught in the lights. All right, I got some sunglasses for you. She gave some sunglasses. Now, this woman's interviewing them in the stands right after it happens because the announcers of the game, everyone's like, oh my gosh, this guy just bailed on his girlfriend and she got hit. Yeah, this news reporter is about to get him real good with this next line. But you know when you lose it next time you should go towards your girlfriend. Protect her. Don't go the other way like a little chicken. Oh my god. That's a little passive aggressive. It's kind of like an L.O.B. interview. Minus the passive. Yeah, minus the passive. Get him. That does sound like L.O.B. That caught him off guard, by the way. He was like, oh. He's like, oh. That's my manhood, isn't it? Not like it broke her neck or anything. It hit her in the face. My manhood. Grazed your elbow. Called me a chicken. But you did get the ball. I guess so.

2:21:29Give it to her. I think this is maybe a foreshadowing thing for the future that he might not be buying. Yeah, you think that he might cheat on you because it's foreshadowing of the future that he might. Yeah, that's a little unnecessary. Oh, my God. Maybe I do need to reconsider this thing. Oh, awkward. Baby! Oh, that's harsh, man. Yeah, this guy's real comfortable. You know, I just moved out of the way. I'm sorry. It was a natural reaction. I didn't mean to. I didn't hurt her. I don't want to hurt her. I love her. So, let me ask you something. Do you think that he'll be abusive to you because this happened? You know, he seems to be very emotionally shallow. Yeah. As obvious. Well, it would be pretty apparent to me that the guy was a coward. Yeah. Maybe she gets up and gets out of the way as well. Maybe you don't just sit there. She was stuck against the rail. She couldn't go anywhere. He stood up out of his chair. But there was no one sitting next to him on the other side. She was on the end of the road. Yeah, she was on the end. She couldn't get out. Well, whether she's brave or not, he's not brave. No. Oh, my God. She could not have moved. I mean, the move at a ball game, I mean, if you're, I don't know, if you're a dude, I would think you go for the ball. Like, every time there's a ball, I'm telling you. Well, I don't, okay? Yes, you do. Well, you haven't been to ball games since 87, but for those of us that go to baseball games, I go for every single ball out there. I do, too. And I tell my wife before every game, I'm like, woman.

2:22:51We are sitting in prime territory. These balls are going to come screaming. It's not Jamie's fault, by the way. But I tell her, I'm like, listen. No, he's glad. I go, listen, we're in prime territory, head on a swivel. Watch the game. We can visit. We're going to visit. We're going to visit. Sounds like a blast. But watch the game. Can't wait to hear all the rules. No, that's why you wear a hat to baseball games, because you catch them with your hat. Or you take your glove. Or the hat keeps the lights out of your eyes. Great for Jamie to get to be your teammate for three hours. We'll visit occasionally. We'll visit between innings. Because I don't want her to get hit in the face, man. I have a question, though, for both of you guys. Actually, for all three of you guys. Jay, too. You're riding with your wife, and you have to stop short. Do you instinctively arm out to your wife? Boob grab. Boob grab always. Okay, well. You don't do the... You don't instinctively do that? I do that. I don't do it. Oh, you're a cad. You're a cad. I do it for everybody. Because why? You are a cad. You guys. I do it for everyone. I do too. Why, Mike? You're a cad. I don't do it because I know that it doesn't do anything. So what? But you do. You know the stop is coming because you're going...

2:24:05and she's maybe not sure yet. Yeah, she could be looking for her purse. Yeah, I don't have to do that. I usually don't have to slam on my brakes. And you never go above the speed limit. Anyway, point being, your instinctive reaction should be to protect. Yeah, I do that all the time. Jamie does it to me, too. It's hysterical. When Jake gets big enough to sit in the front, you'll start doing it. Putting your arm out, though, is different than trying to do something athletic. No, he could have easily grabbed her. If he went four rows away, he could have grabbed her with him. He could have taken the hit. Listen to all the armchair quarterbacks, you know, afterwards, after the fact. Everybody's like, I would have. Mikey, I stopped you from jumping in front of a car when you were doing your Mikey Grylls bit. She's done it twice. Twice. Save your life. Lauren has saved my life twice. Girls want to protect her. That guy is a cow. I said it. It doesn't mean that she can't date him, but I guarantee his grandmother called him and said

2:25:06Bo, his name is Bo. They're calling him Bo the Baylor. Bo, I cannot believe you did not protect that sweet little girl. She was calling you baby and everything. Hey, Grandma, why don't you get off my back? Mind your own damn business. I taught you better, Bo. Mind your own damn business, Grandma. No, you didn't, Grandma. All you did was take Xanax all day long and drink Budweiser. What are you talking about? You drank Budweiser and you took Xanax all day long, Grandma. There's nothing wrong with that. Mind your own damn business. First of all, you know I drank Moonshine. So, Jay, speaking of manly men, Jay has ten skills that he believes every man should have. Okay, let's check them off, you and I, Mike. Ready? Here we go. Four. Get it. Ready? Let's try. Let's see how many we get. These are the things that Jay says every man should, a skill every man should have. Every man should be able to score a baseball game. Yes. I cannot. I can. One for me. So I have a... I'm going to put an X. I'm going to put a 1. Every man should be able to build a fire. Yes. Yes, I can. Yeah, Mike. I can do that. Every man should be able to tie a tie. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Wow, I'm good. You're good. Every man should be able to hold their own in any sport. Yes, I can. I cannot.

2:26:27Can't I? You can hold my own. And hockey. I played hockey. You can get on hockey skates? Curling. I mean, curling's not a sport, but... Yes, it is. It's in the Olympics. No, I can't hold my own at curling. But let's call it the big six. I can hold my own. I bet you could even hold your own. I probably could. Give me an afternoon. That's what, four? That is for you, four, yeah. Yeah, okay. Every man should be able to... A skill every man should have is car maintenance. No. Not even close. Jay, you're doing this too, right? Oh, so far I'm... Five for five? Yeah. I bet he's not. Here's the thing, though. Which one would you call him out on? He can't score a baseball game. I could score a baseball game. No freaking... I don't like it, but I can. There's no way. I coached. There's no way. I'll take a BB gun to the... But, again, nude if you can score a baseball game. Let's do it. You've got to be careful what you throw out there. You just said that live on the air and everyone heard it. That's fine. I like it. I like it. I do that, too. Let's see. Car maintenance. The car maintenance, it says you should be able to change a tire, jumpstart a car. I can do that. Can you change your oil? I can't change a tire or jumpstart a car. You can't jump? I can jumpstart a car. I can't.

2:27:45I'm afraid of shocks. You know that. I'm petrified of shocks. Sharks or shocks? Sharks. Come on. And sharks. So I'm going to say yes to car maintenance. Really? I believe I can do these things. It doesn't count taking it into the dealership and dropping it off. That does not count as car maintenance. Mike can do it. My dad taught me how to change oil. Okay, well then you're good. If you can change oil, I say you're good. I can change oil. I can change a tire. I can jumpstart a car. Okay, I'm 0 for 3 on that one. 10 skills every man should have. Every man should be able to be a wingman. Oh. You talking too, dude? Ultimate wingman Woods. Woods is a good wingman. I'm a great wingman. Bring me back up to speed. I take you out, and I make sure that you close some business. Yeah. And I'm not even so much worried about myself. He was trying to help me. I'm trying to help her out. How do you do that? Ready? You talk him up. So I'm like, hey, Lauren, that's your name, right? Yeah. Hey, have you met my friend Mike? I have not. This is Mike. Hi, Mike. Hey, how you doing? How you doing? He's literally one of the funniest freaking dudes you will ever meet. Really? He's hysterical. He's hysterical. He has his own radio show. The guy is freaking hysterical. No way. In like a big city? In San Diego. You don't do it like that. He's hysterical, right? No. I do. I do. I talk my boys up. You better not do it like that or I'm going to bail if I'm the friend you're trying to hook up. I was wondering, Woods. That's awkward. He's like the sweetest guy. He just came out of a long relationship. Okay. I've seen Woods in action. He does it a lot slower than this. Right. Smoother. I'm trying to make it.

2:29:07We're trying to condense it. And sometimes you have to throw yourself on the grenade. Oh, you do. Absolutely. Be like, dude, I think I'm funny. This dude is hilarious. Yeah. I could be a wingman. Yeah, you could. I could be a wingman. So I'm going to say yes. All three of you, I think, are a yes on that. Of course I could be a wingman. What am I going to be, the guy? The main guy? Yeah, you're the main guy. No, you're Goose, pal. You know that. I'm Goose, all right? And I'm Goose when he's ejecting, so just so you know. And hitting the canopy, I'm that Goose, all right? No way, you're Goose on the piano. No, I'm an actual Goose. You understand? I'm a Goose. Take me home or lose me forever. Ten skills every man should have. Every man should be able to converse. Yeah. Yeah. Do it for a living. I think we got that one. Golden pipes in there. That's right. Golden voice, Mike Esparza. Okay. All right. We get bonus points, Mike. Oh, man, do you? Oh, okay. Wow. Every man should have the skill of basic first aid. No. That means CPR, no how. Nope. Heimlich maneuver, no how. Nope. Dressing cuts, no how. No. Scrapes, burns, bruises.

2:30:18Yeah, I'm good to go. How do you not know how to do this? Because I'm an idiot. Every man should know how to fix things. Nope. None of you. Jay, how do you just... I can't fix a thing. I can't fix everything. I can't fix one thing. I'll make it all better for you. I can't fix anything. Is that it? No, there's one more. Oh, the one more. Good, okay. I'm shooting for a C, maybe a B. Every man should be able to cook. Oh, yeah. Love to cook. I can, too. Eight out of ten. I feel pretty good. I think my husband got ten. Did he really? I was keeping track in my head. He can do all those? Wow. What a man. What a mighty good man. Because I wanted to know. I was like, am I married to a man? Five, six, seven. I got seven out of ten. I'm an 80%. That's good, you guys. Passing grade. That's not bad. That's better than I thought we'd do, Mike. I'm looking for eight out of ten or above.

2:31:12Just FYI. And black. Yeah. We're going to throw stuff out there. Strapping. Strapping African-American, man. Oh, my God. I wonder how many black dudes are going to show up at our meet and greet tomorrow. I know it. One. Yeah, one. Wow, did you have to say that with such a sad face? I mean. One. Let's see. I can't wait. I can't wait. Lauren is wearing the tank top today. Yep, the TT. We talked about outfits that people like. Now, it's probably my favorite thing my wife wears. My wife wears tank tops. It's probably my favorite thing that she wears. Sienna, do you have something that you wear that your husband absolutely goes crazy for? Um, yeah. And it's a shirt that I've worn in here that you guys have all said that you like too. I think it was like a guy. It was a light blue button up like a blouse type thing. Yeah, it's cute. Halter top. Is there anything, Sienna, that you wear that your husband, Todd, can't stand? Yeah, I have like some like long hippie-ish skirts and stuff that I'll wear with like a tank top and sandals. Guys hate those. And he's like, oh my gosh, what?

2:32:38They're so comfortable. I think they look just lovely. Listen, LAB, sarongs are really comfortable. Hey, listen, if it was acceptable, I'd wear a sarong. I would. You'd wear a loincloth. I would. If I could wear a sarong. You'd come in here like Tarzan. I would. I would wear a sarong. I know if I walk out, my wife's going to be like, whoa. But they look lovely, in my opinion. See, I know. I think they're so cute. Sandals are tanked up. No. It's like a long, flowy, hippie, flowy skirt. And guys hate them. I think he's just because you can't see anything. Guys hate Capri fans, too. Yes, I hate Capri. What, are you digging for clams in there? Don't you like seeing a little calf? Oh, yeah, in Nantucket. Yeah, when I'm in Nantucket or Cape Cod for the summer. We're having clam chowder for dinner. In a Tom Sawyer novel. Yeah. If we have a fishing pole made out of a piece of wood. Made out of a branch. It's better than nothing, right?

2:33:30It's better than a Girls Gone Mild trip. Hey, do girls really think that those capri pants, you guys, the girls, you're like, oh, these are so cool. No. Not capri pants, but like even the legging capris that come up to like. Oh, like I wear it every day. Yeah, and I had them on yesterday, and I know that they're not a big hit. What is it? Talk to me. Talk me through that. They're like stretch pants. I know what they are, but talk to me about them. You girls think, oh. These look cute. Well, a big thing with me why I wear them is because I'm pregnant and they're stretchy, you know? Take yourself back nine months ago. Oh, but I would still wear them. Because, like, you can wear a cute little dress with it. Especially if the dresses now that are made are so short. Yeah. You can't wear those to work. You can't just wear those. You can. Oh, stop. You know what I love on girls? For some reason, it's the weirdest thing, yoga pants. Yeah. Well, for some reason. You mean the butt? Yeah. They're skin tight. The yoga butt? I love yoga pants. Everybody loves yoga pants. My wife wears those. I'm like. But he's sick. Those are Capri yoga pants. They come up to here, but they're not tight around the thing. They're loose. They're kind of billowy at the bottom. I like those pink.

2:34:40juicy couture. Oh, yeah. The velour jumpsuits? Yeah, the stuff that's written on the shirt with it over the butt. I'm going to make something that say get on them. I like the Lycra. I'll wear ones that say get on them. Would you? Yeah. You don't like those? I know they're old. I think they're so stupid. I wear the pants. I don't usually wear the matching sweater. The pants with a tank top? Yeah, that's so comfy. The velour or just anything that says something on the butt? It doesn't have to say anything. Even if it's just velour. Stretchy pants I think that they like. Especially girls with big butts shouldn't have their butts talk. Welcome to Seattle. Welcome to Seattle. Oh my gosh. Stay a while. Stay a while. I think I actually want some pants that say git on the butt. Maybe I'll make some git pants. I know. I would wear chill. I know. Will I? No. I already have one full-time job, pal. Sienna, is there anything that... your husband wears that drives you nuts and you're like oh my gosh where do I start are you kidding me that would be Rebecca oh my gosh you guys this is like his thing that he does that is the worst this guy Todd

2:35:47this husband of mine, puts on his baseball hat, like a baseball cap, and he has long, like, curly hair. Yeah. And he leaves the bangs down in front and puts the hat over him and doesn't pull the bangs back. I'm like, no, babe! No, and I get so mad every time. He's like, what do you mean? This is the look. Oh, yeah, it was in 87. In 87, it was. Guys from Pennsylvania. That's funny. Oh, my gosh. It's the worst. Woods, you wear the same thing every day. Every day. Every day he wears a white. Jamie on board? Oh, yeah. She doesn't care. White V-neck T-shirt. She likes this look. Every day. My laid-back California SoCal kid look. I like Smedium T-shirts. I'm going to say it right now. I did not because I have hard nipples and a fat belly. Speechless. I was just speechless for about one and a half. I do. Well, it's true. Always. Always. They're always hard. I don't know why. It's the truth, though. And if you're a man, well, it's true. It's a true story. It's true. If you're a guy, you can't wear smediums. I can't wear smediums. If that's the deal. Here's what a smedium looks like. I don't like smediums. Okay, that's tight. I like smedium. Just like a little, just not like flowing. What does that do for you?

2:37:03Medium, though, is like when the sleeve goes halfway up the bicep. Oh, wow. Woods is pulling his shirt so tight right now. It's like a pregnancy shoot. He's pointing, like, to say to the girl, you. Look at that belly. Oh, my gosh. Oh, gosh. You know what? It's like when Rebecca buys me stuff. I remember when we first started dating and she bought me stuff that I thought she got a baby gap. We all do that. Because she did. She probably did. I'm like, I can't wear that. I can't wear that. I'm not wearing it. You're never going to fit me. I know, it's the worst. So tight, you know? But now, do you go and buy all your own clothes or does she buy most of it? I prefer that she, it's like, I have to say, she's so busy. Yeah. But I want her to be there because I want to be able to go, hey, what about this? What about this? But I have to make an appointment. You know, with my, she's my fashion. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's important. I think it's so cute when the guy wants the girl to help him pick out his wardrobe. I just do it. Yeah, she just lays him out. He gets a bit more than laid out of the bed. He loves it, though. He comes home and he has new clothes. That guy is the most well taken care of. He is, dude. He's a lucky man. Oh, thanks. Sometimes he is. I got some easy health check stuff every dude should do. Tell you next. Hey, y'all.

2:38:42This is Hoyle Henready, station manager for KBZT FM 94.9. I would like to tell you about Independence Jam Coastal Invasion 2010. It is presented by Miller Lite and Skyon. Skyon. Some of the bands that will be appearing are... Edward Sharpay and the Magnetic... Sharp! Sharp, Hoyle. Edward Sharp. What kind of station manager are you? And the Magnetic Zeros. Also, Rogue Wave. Rogue Wave. Rogue Wave. The Wigs. Just Wigs. You don't have to pronounce the H. It says right there, Lauren. It says the Wigs. Why do you get so nervous when you have to read things, Hoyle? I thought you were a pro. Rise above. Delta Spirit plus the Casbah Local 949 stage. The silent comedy. The nervous records. Just records. It ain't records because if it was records, it would be. It's a play on words. You can do it. It's an intendry. You can do it, buddy. It's an intendry. It ain't a Nintendo, man. You can see it right here. It's an intendry.

2:40:14The Burning of Rome White Apple Tree. It is $30 with no... Y'all are making me nervous. $30 with no additional fees. Perfect. Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Amphitheater. $200 The Strand North Oceanside, California. We all know it's California. 92054. Oh, wow. Unnecessary. Sunday, August 29, 2010. 29th. Oh, my gosh. $1 off every ticket sold goes to the music fund about. About the music fund. About the music fund. Good job. FM. 949. 949. Oh, wow. No, it isn't. It says right there, Lauren. You're being way too literal with that. It says 949. We'll see. There's a little dash there. No, it isn't, sweetheart. That's a line. Look at that. That's a backslash. That's a line. FM 94 backslash 9. Whatever. It's about the music.

2:41:40It's about the music. Thank you, Boyle. Holy cow. Can I say happy birthday to my brother really quick? Of course you can. Happy birthday, Taylor. Yay! Happy birthday, Taylor. M1 animator. M1 animator. Best brother in the world. He's a good dude. Happy birthday. Love the guy. He'll be out tomorrow night. Needs a spanking. Oh, dear. Oh, inappropriate day. Just saying. 28. Pervert alert. Pervert alert. Wow. It's a good thing we installed that for me. I know. Everyone else has gotten it. Jay is weird. Some health check items that every dude should do. Yes. Now, these are things you guys should be doing once a week. I know Woods will never do one. I do the breast check. Every girl is supposed to do that. Do we all know? Check your gums. Any redness, inflammation, bleeding. Daily. Might be due to gingivitis. Or a can of Copenhagen in a day. Yeah. Might have something to do with it. Do you have bleeding gums because of it all the time? Sometimes. I have holes in my lip. Make sure you get that stuff checked out. No. Mike, do you guys floss? No. I floss, but only when I'm concerned that my breath smells.

2:42:57Listen, are we being honest? Is this the honest tree? Is it the trust tree? Are we in the trust tree? I brush my teeth, you know, every day and I have these little... How many times a day? You paused before you said that, by the way. No, I do. How many times a day? Once. I go twice now. You gotta go twice. I go twice, yeah. Just one? Show off. I know. Twice. Thrice. I'm gonna lie to you. Thrice. Yeah, four times. No. After every meal. Most guys do the morning and that's it. Does my breath smell? Does my breath smell? Be honest with me. No, no, it doesn't smell. It never does. You don't brush your teeth before you go to bed? Oh, of course I do. He's rolling his eyes right now. He's rolling his eyes right now. Woods didn't use to. I do now. Why? I do. I double up. I just do, because I dip a lot of snuff now, because I don't smoke, so I dip a lot of snuff, and I'm like, eh, I get a bad taste in my mouth. All right, I'm going to start doing it now. Well, floss your teeth. Make sure, you know, like the bleeding and redness in your gums is not normal, so you need to be checking for these kinds of things. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B.'s judging eyes. No, no, no. I'm shocked by what you said, but I'm more shocked by what Sienna's talking about. What? Okay, bleeding gums. I don't have bleeding gums. I floss my teeth sometimes, I do. Dennis always tells me I get great jumpers. Do you ever smell your floss? Ew! No! How would you? Because it stinks? Bye, Mikey.

2:44:13You can't reach it you're like You're like a horse in the wild. What do you mean? You're untamed. You're completely an untamed animal. South Carolina, just trotting around. I'm being honest. Yeah, just an untamed. Fine, I smell my floss, big deal. Now every man listening right now, do what I say. Get used to it. Take a deep breath. Did you release? Did you inhale through your nose or through your mouth? Mouth. If it was your mouth, then that means your nasal passages may be obstructed because you should have been doing it through your nose. Really? That sounds really bad. You're supposed to always go in through your mouth, out through your nose. No, I thought it was the other way. In through your nose, out through your mouth. I mean, what did I say? You said the other way. Sounds like somebody made your nostrils with a razor blade.

2:45:33Okay, so if you did inhale through your mouth, then that probably means that your nasal passages may be obstructed, which is due to allergic rhinitis. Mm, rhinitis. Yeah. What? I can't help it. Maybe you get that checked out, bro. What? It's just a stuffy nose that happens. It isn't. It's every day. You can't breathe through that nose. Yeah, I can. Listen, I've heard you snore. Your wife has told you snore. Yeah. There's no air coming to that. How do you smell floss through that nose? You gotta show it up in there. Oh, gross. Also, if you do have those symptoms like that where your nose is obstructed and maybe it's an issue you have all the time, again, you need to be checking this every week. And if it's accompanied by coughing and wheezing, you may have asthma. How do you check it? You don't put your finger in your nose, but you do your deep breaths and make sure your nose is clear. I do a lot of breathing now. Do you? Me too. Almost every day. A lot of deep breathing, I mean. What's your mantra?

2:46:33I don't have one. I'm just laying in bed and go. There, that was clearer. Yeah, that was clearer. And if you do it slow. Good. Still very relaxed. You're getting sleepy. Is that the last one? No, I have more. I don't know if you're still into it. I don't know if I am either. That's making you feel bad about yourself. Quickly, quickly, quickly. Check your heart rate if you... Nah, never mind. Oh, well, okay. Heart rate. These are things to do once a week. Your belly. Next. You may have some problems if you gain weight in your belly and nowhere else, men. Check your moles all the time. That's really, really, really important. A lot of men, especially in their 40s, get diagnosed with melanoma. I got a big one. Stiff muscles is bad. Make sure you flex. And, you know, make sure the memory is good. That's real important. You have a big mole on your back? Yes, dude. It's like bad. Let me look at it. Come here. If it's black. Bring your pocket knife. I've got it. I'll shoot it off with a BB gun. Is it black? If it's black or if it's getting bigger. Or it sticks out. If it changes at all. That's not good. I don't see it. Oh, there. Oh, yeah, that ain't good. No, that's not. I don't think that one's bad, though. It has to have a discoloration. Oh, good. I won't mess with it. This is, by the way, this is Paramore, which is the number one alternative song in the country right now. It's called The Only Exception. You know what Jason Statham used to do for a living? You're going to be very shocked when I tell you.

2:48:17One Republic song is called Secrets. Number one rock song in the country. All right, let's see if Hillary will have the correct answer for this. She will. Hillary, which do you prefer? Seriously, hold on before you go. Don't say anything. I'm just going to ask the question. We don't want to paint it with anything. Don't scold me. Okay, you ready? I'm tired of your scolding eyes. What's better oatmeal cookie with chocolate chips or oatmeal cookie with raisins?

2:48:59It's a gender. It's a gender thing. Did every guy in here say raisins? Every guy in here said raisins. Every guy. And every girl said chocolate chips. Yeah, unanimous. Any chance I have to have chocolate? That's the bit. 100% raisins? That's the bit, Mike. It's like night and day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. Why? They love chocolate. What's the deal with chocolate? It's orgasmic for them. It is. Woodsy had an oatmeal raisin cookie the other day, and I didn't have any cookies near me, so I took a piece of it, and the whole time I was like, This is repulsive. Amazing. I will eat. Same thing with yours, Mike. You gave me yours yesterday, and I was like, ooh. Chewy and delicious. I thought it was chocolate chip, and I took a bite, and I was like, eh, raisin. When you go to a restaurant. Oatmeal raisin cookies are the best. Yeah. The best. If you go to a restaurant, if you go to a restaurant, and you go, yeah, I'm ordering breakfast. I'd like some oatmeal. Do they ever go, sure. Would you like chocolate chips in that? No. Do they ever ask you if you want raisins? Yes, they do. They ask you if you want raisins. No. Who orders oatmeal in a restaurant? I do. I do. I do, too. That's our first disagreement ever. And I actually get it with raisins. I know. I don't get it with raisins. I'm surprised at you. But in a restaurant? You're a healthy couple. You finally disagree on one thing. Yeah, finally. It's the first time. But chocolate is not necessarily a breakfast food. Raisin is a more healthy choice, so they're offering it to you for breakfast. What is the difference with a woman tasting chocolate than a man? Because something's different. Love. LLB loves chocolate. I do. Me, too.

2:50:27I've been wanting it all day. But women in general, there's something about chocolate that we're not wired for. Doesn't it supposedly produce the same chemical that love does? That's what I heard. But only in women. It's similar to how we feel about boobs. It's the exact same thing. You'll have that in your oatmeal cookies? There you go. Anytime I get a chance. 570. Oatmeal boob cookies. Done. Oh, wow. 570-1949. And then I can, like, walnuts, take it or leave it. I can eat them in there. I can eat them in an oatmeal raisin walnut cookie. I'd have them, but I would never put them in. That's the deal. Cookies are supposed to be chewy, not crunchy. Yeah. So get them out. All right, I got another one for you. Uh-oh. Potato salad. Okay. With potato salad, do you put... This is touchy. This is touchy. Potato salad with or without... Black olives. Ew! I'll take it with. I'll take it with. Ew. I hate black olives. What? That's repulsive. A, I've never even heard of it. Me neither. But B, it's repulsive. It's repulsive. They're salty. It's good. My mom puts little...

2:51:39Black. Chopped up. Black olives. What about my mom used to put apples in tuna? I was just going to say. That's good. That's good. Chicken salad and tuna salad with fruit in it. I don't like fruit in my meat. I don't like it either. Apples in chicken salad I've had. Not tuna. And it's good. They do grapes too. Yeah, grapes. I've had grapes in there. That's foul. No, it's a good combo. It does sound like a good combo. No likey. No likey. We always talk about food at this time of day. I know. Because we're hungry. I think we're all starving by the time we get off the air. Sounds delicious. How about macaroni salad? Okay, what about it? Delicious. A little piece of celery in there. Heaven. Do I love macaroni. Kehlani's mac salad. Holy smokes. Can we get some Kehlani's maybe in the morning? I'll go to Kehlani's right now. But you know what I don't like in macaroni salad? What? Little bits of carrot. I do. No, I don't know. I can take it or leave it. I can take it or leave it. If they're little. If they're little. I want chunks. And have you guys ever experienced the macaroni salad that has the little tiny bits of cheddar cheese in it? Oh, disgusting, dude. Disgusting. I like celery. I love celery. Celery's good. You can put celery in almost anything. It's delicious. I got a couple of, is there anything worse then? Okay. Is there anything worse?

2:52:51than filling up on appetizers. Especially chips and salsa. Which we, as a show, do all the time. I remember when we went to Cheesecake Factory one time, we had like 15 appetizers. The meals came, I had one bite, I was like, I'm going to take this home. But of course I had to get a piece of cheesecake too. I expensed that and our general manager was like... $450 in a cheesecake factory? For lunch? Egg rolls? Egg rolls. Egg rolls. Okay. Steak bites? What are these? What is this? That was good. We got everything on that. Every human being says... Don't fill up on appetizers. Then you fill up on appetizers. Why do they make them so good? They make them so good. And chips and salsa. Every Mexican restaurant you go to. We slayed 15 buckets of chips and salsa when we went to On the Border that day. Oh my gosh, yeah. Give me more. The girl's like, I just brought you guys three baskets. Hillary, what's your favorite? Get back there. What's your all-time appetizer? Oh God, it's so hard.

2:53:55A real easy, simple one is just cheesy garlic bread. Oh, yeah. We went to OG's last night. Yum. There was a bunch of us there, and we ordered cheesy garlic bread. It comes out like a flat thing of it. Then we ordered a different kind of cheesy garlic bread. They have some good garlic bread. They brought us garlic knots. Oh, yeah. Nuts. Delicious. Like knots of bread. OG's does their bread right. Is there anything better than dipping bread and stuff? Ranch, marinara, mix them together, cheese. My favorite part of the Super Bowl is the sourdough bread bowl with the artichoke dip. It's hot. Bread bowl hot. I hate artichoke dip. I know everybody loves it. It's a big bit, but I'm out. It's like pesto to me. Have you had the pizza port beer, buddy? Oh, yeah. What is that? Oh, they're like little garlicky pieces of pizza there. I think I have. You have because you went with me. I want them now. Then we go eat together right now. Yeah, maybe we go somewhere right now. Maybe you should eat five pounds of something right away. I'm like this. My mouth is watering. Do you watch Man vs. Food? No. I like girls. Oh, wow. Man vs. Food. I guess I walked right into that one, didn't I?

2:55:13Mikey just looks straight ahead like really. He just talked about food for six minutes. I know. Yeah. He's had 80 opinions on food. But man versus food is out of the question. I've heard good things. No, it's good. I've heard good things. I've heard good things. Oh my gosh. I'd rather eat food, not watch it. I know. I don't want to watch about it. I could see Woodsy loving that show because the guy eats a lot. Yeah, all it is is challenges. He goes to different places throughout the country. Yeah, I think it's cool. He was just here. I kind of get sick watching people overeat, though. Like, I kind of have a weak thing. It's not overeating, though. It's Anthony Bourdain. Is he doing it? He's not doing it in time, right? Never mind. Man vs. Food is Adam Richman. He's not doing it timed, like, trying to, like, shovel it in his mouth. No, it's one of those deals where, like, in Amarillo, he's got to eat a 72-ounce steak. Oh, yeah. How'd it go?

2:56:08He won that one. He ate the Iron Man omelet at Broken Yolk and PB. He was just having a video episode. That's right. And it's huge and comes with biscuits and it's covered in chili and it's a pizza platter. I've never seen that. You get an award if you eat that whole thing. Yeah, you get your name on the wall. Yeah. You get a heart attack, too. Didn't he go to Phil's? He went to Phil's. Yeah, he went to Phil's. And Lucha Libre. Is that the one? Maybe we go to Phil's and get some potato salad right now. Barbecue. Just bathe myself in it. So real quick, I told you I was going to tell you about this. Jason Statham, the guy that played the... What's that movie? What's it called? I want to say The Incorporator, but that's not it. The Transporter. He's in that new Stallone movie. The... Expendables. Yep. Expendables, there you go. That everybody's in. Here he is.

2:57:23You ever done that? You ever gone to New York City where they're selling stuff on the street like that? I bought a ton of stuff on Canal Street. It's like $3. $3 for a Rolex. I wish it was real. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Let's see. I grabbed the Soft Pack. They're in town tomorrow. Del Mar Racetrack. Some Anthrax. Some Dead Weather. New Arcade Fire, too. Oh, and I'm going to start with a good old PIL song. There you go. All right. We got to go. Lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next. Come back at 6 a.m. We'll do it again. Mikey shows out.