The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/12/11
Friday, August 12, 2011
Chargers preseason gameAruba traveler storyMitt Romney state fair hecklingJanie Lane deathBazooka Joe comic collectioncornstarch experimentpotato eating anecdoteMr. Magoo Bandit bank robberchargers preseasonaruba girlfriendmitt romney hecklingbazooka joe comics
Mikey opened the show by promoting FM listening, giving away a $100 Ali Action Sports Warehouse gift certificate and lunch for two, then previewed the Chargers‑Seahawks preseason game with Woodsy’s analysis of starters and undrafted rookies. The crew segued into a bizarre Aruba caller story about a girlfriend’s gay friend, then shifted to politics as they played Mitt Romney’s state‑fair heckling and debated Social Security tax caps, followed by a somber remembrance of Janie Lane’s death and Lauren O’Brien’s reveal of her Bazooka Joe comic collection. Later, Jay stunned everyone by walking on a cornstarch‑water mixture, while earlier he shocked the team with a story about hollowing out a baked potato and eating the skin, and the show closed with a detailed look at the Mr. Magoo Bandit bank robber and Mikey’s personal testimony of childhood abuse, addiction and redemption.
What happened, in order
Prize Giveaway and Chargers Preview
Mikey announces a $100 Ali Action Sports Warehouse gift certificate and lunch for two for caller 9, then previews the Chargers‑Seahawks preseason game with Woodsy’s analysis of starters and undrafted rookies.
Janie Lane Death Announcement
Mikey and Woodsy react to the news that Warrant lead singer Janie Lane was found dead at a Comfort Inn at age 47, speculating on drugs or alcohol.
Aruba Girlfriend Gay Friend Confusion
A caller describes his girlfriend lunching with a guy she claims is gay, sparking a discussion about an Aruba missing‑woman case and the reliability of gay alibis.
Mitt Romney Heckled at State Fair
Mitt Romney is heckled while campaigning at a state fair over his stance on raising the Social Security payroll cap, prompting a debate about tax policy.
Lauren's Bazooka Joe Comic Collection
Lauren O’Brien reveals she collects Bazooka Joe comics, showing her tin container and describing her longtime hobby.
Jay's Hollowed Out Potato Story
Jay recounts hollowing out a baked potato, eating the skin, and grossing out the crew with his unusual snack habit.
Walking on Cornstarch and Water
Jay demonstrates a non‑Newtonian fluid made of cornstarch and water that lets him stomp and walk on the surface without sinking.
Mr. Magoo Bandit Bank Robber
The show details the bald, nearsighted bank robber dubbed the Mr. Magoo Bandit who has hit five San Diego banks in nine months.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLaurenJayChrisNubian PrinceBreeElodieCorey LeggettScott TolzienPhillip RiversVincent JacksonAntonio GatesBrian Walters
36,900 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
You want to call us right now? You can, 570-1949. And if you would like, you can text us. 949mikey at gmail.com is the way that you text us. I love it when we come in here and there's a gigantic show and we're giving away cool prizes and we got a lot to do and we're just jam-packed. And that's today. There is a lot in the news. Chargers, 570-1949. Call us. If you're an M1, an M1 is a Mikey show listener. It means that when you listen to the show and you're a fan of the show, you listen exclusively to us. You listen to us on the radio, on the FM. Yesterday, somebody said that when Sony was nice enough to buy a block of commercial time yesterday, we went commercial free a couple of times for almost an hour.
And there were people that were listening on the stream that didn't get that luxury. They didn't get to hear that. And so I just want to ask you to please listen to us on the FM. Now, if you are in an area, maybe you live out of state, maybe you live in an area that does not get very good reception. If that's the case, I completely understand it. And it's okay. If you have to stream us. and you must stream us, then that's fine. I'm a radio guy that loves radio. And it's important to me that you listen on your FM radio. If you simply can't, I get it. Out of state, don't get reception. Other than that, I'm asking you, please, please listen to us on your FM radio. Let's see. Okay, so all kinds of things to tell you. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years of age. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36. L-O-B. Lauren O'Brien. She is our assistant producer. And she's 30. Jay is our producer. He's 48. And our phone screener is 22. He's Chris. It's gross. It's gross. Word of the day, mountain. When you hear me say mountain between now and 10, I'll work it into a sentence. When you hear me do that.
You will win, if you're calling nine, you'll win a $100 gift certificate to the Ali Action Sports Warehouse sale that's going on August 18th through the 21st. And we're talking about gear from Volcom, D.C., Burton, really cool stuff. And also lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. Nice. Boom. It's that easy. So last night, ladies and gentlemen, It was back after a lot of speculation. Will they work it out? Will everything be okay? Football was back. San Diego Chargers and the Seattle Seahawks last night, Woodsy. Yes, sir. What did you think? Were you excited? Well, I was very excited. I was very impressed. Yeah. And, you know, I always say I don't care what happens in the preseason.
Our favorite team, the Chargers could lose 100-0, and it doesn't matter. If it's the preseason, it doesn't matter. And the reason it don't matter is because all you want to see is starters. Absolutely. The starters are going to be in there for a very short time. While they're in there, how do they look? Starting offense, starting defense, how do they look? Yep. Pretty badass is what I thought. Pretty badass is right, man. The Chargers ended up losing the game 24-17. I watched all the way up to mid-fourth quarter. Wow. So I saw most of the game. And there were a couple things I wanted to see. One thing that I love, besides the starters, is seeing these undrafted rookies. Because I'll tell you what, nobody does it better than the San Diego Chargers. For sure. They find, you know, Antonio Gates, they find these guys that are diamonds in the rough. And they found a couple, man. They got a third-string quarterback, Scott Tolzien, that has a cannon.
For an early. A cannon. Let us down. Almost had a game-tying drive. I mean, with time running out. So, man, there was so much to be excited about last night if you're a Charger fan. Phillip Rivers in the offense come out of the gate for a touchdown. Right off the bat, man. Wow. Drive down the field, score. He looked so good. They were talking to him after the game about what it was like to get that opening score. It was nice to drive and score, and that's kind of what we wanted to accomplish. But, you know, you watch the tape, and there's certainly things to clean up. You know, I can give you a false impression of it, you know, because it looked easy. But we still have a long way to go. That's one drive of a game, you know. So I have a lot of work to do, but it was nice to not have any penalties that first drive. You know, be crisp. We converted two third downs, and a handful of guys were able to touch the ball. So it was a good start, but certainly a lot of work to do before we were ready for that opener. good to see that guy back there just slinging balls to Vincent Jackson. Vijay making great catches. 87-yard drive, completed 5 of 6, and that was his night. He was done. And how great did those hookups look? Just bombs, man. To have Vijay back for the whole year, listen, I'm not making any bold predictions, but it was very exciting to see that team on the field. And I'll tell you what, Corey Legit is going to be
A hell of a football player in this league on this team. San Diego Chargers first-round draft pick. Correct. Corey Leggett. Fast. You liked him? Loved him. Fast, strong, disruptive, in the backfield, making stuff happen. It was awesome. Also, all right, this is going to be racist against my own race. I don't know that I've ever seen a white guy return a kickoff 103 yards like Brian Walters from Cornell did last night. Fast as lightning. I mean, there's a lot of talent on this team. Time to bottle it up, make it right. Special teams, outstanding. Yeah. Outstanding. Oh, yeah. Biggest Achilles heel last year. And how great was that, man? Because, I mean, it was bad. It was as bad as I've seen a team play special teams. I mean, it just looked disgusting. Last night was like that. I don't know who their new special teams coach is, but that dude was like. Satya, I think, is his name. He came out and he was like, I'm going to shove this in the face of the NFL. I want the entire NFL to see. Not only have the Chargers gone from worst to first in terms of special teams, we're going to be known for special teams. It was bad. I'll tell you what, man. Watching the first punt coverage and I'm like, okay, now's the time. And boy, something happened. It didn't look like anything to you or I.
But boy, somebody came over the sideline and he was lighting him up, dude. And I was like, what do you do? He was David Benn. Yeah, and he was lighting him up. And this is what was encouraging about that. David Benn, same David Benn that used to date Pamela Anderson, by the way. Oh, wow. Widely considered to be the best long snapper in the NFL. Oh. Oh, wow. But David Benn is a man amongst boys when it comes to. Long snapping. So you're right, Woods. When I saw him getting up in David Binns Grill, I was like, that's a coach, man. This guy knows his stuff. That's a coach. You know, there's a lot to be excited about. And it's one game. But, you know, I have one concern. What? It is the running game. I wonder. Great coming out of the backfield. Catching passes. The best. Todman, Matthews, and Tolbert. But running the football didn't look that great. And it looked like they kind of got away from it a little bit. But, you know, long season, man. Plenty of time to work out the kinks. Yeah, and I think you're right. I think that's it, man. I think just, you know, as this thing goes on, you know, Ryan Matthews got some sort of a sore muscle right now that he's dealing with. But it'll heal up. By the time we're ready to start, everything I think will be ready to go. But, you know, I...
I was concerned that this labor thing would make me sour on football. And up until last night when I saw high-definition Chargers, I felt that way. But then last night when I saw it, and it was on the TV, and Jake was all excited, I was like, I'm in. Yep, all the way in. I am in. That was fun, man. It's really fun being a new fan of a new team. and watching them play and being so excited about football again. For sure. Hello, Bree. Guess who's on the line? M1 Nubian Prince from Otai Mesa. Thank you guys so much. Lauren, thank you so much for that playlist yesterday. Oh, yeah. Anytime. The day that we'll live in infamy. Oh, yeah. Yes. In infamy in my office, I could not stop laughing. People thought I was crazy in the office. Told my brother Mark about it on the drive-in this morning because my brother lives in Tucson. that L.O.B., who keeps things very close to the vest, doesn't tell you that much information about herself. In fact, the way that I am able to get the information is she'll show me a sliver and I'll start to dig like an archaeologist. Turns out there's a whole arc.
underneath that dirt, but you've got to dig. I've been burning in my loins right now. Thank you, Lauren. You see a tiny little piece of bone just sticking out of the dirt, and then you've got to move dirt away. It's a brontosaurus. It's a brontosaurus. Yeah, seriously. Because she mentioned, you know, we were talking yesterday about the performer Tay Zonday, who sings the song Chocolate Rain. YouTube sensation. Yeah, sign me up for that. And L.O.B. heard a little bit of chocolate ring. I love it. And said, I'm surprised that's not on my make love playlist. To which we all said, what? Pardon? Sorry? I thought you just said make love playlist. It must be a woman thing. I got plenty of ladies reaching out to me saying they have one as well. You had one. All right. Oh, yeah. It was two hours. And 48 minutes long. It doesn't always play. 50-something plays. It doesn't always play in its entirety. Well, each song tells you how many times it's been played. Right. And we do know that there was a song by Common. Yes. The rapper Common. It's been played 52 times. He's an African-American gentleman. Hello. He's a big fan. I take it back.
Like my men. You know what I was thinking about the other day? I may have said this on the air, not sure if I did. When I was at the old station, Sky used to like black guys. That was like the joke. You know, it was like the joke. But the thing is, is that it was more of a joke than anything. Like we used to joke with her about liking ham. Well, she didn't like ham any more than anybody else in the world. We just made a big deal out of it. And so what was hysterical in meeting and getting to know L.O.B. is that, as it turns out, she thinks black guys are really sexy. Yes. Oh, babe. That's creepy, L.O.B. I didn't. Didn't you? I didn't meet. That's very sexual and creepy and sex pervert look. He's a sex pervert. Yeah. Well, not exactly. Aren't you? I have a burning in my loins right now. Why would you say that? These things are all being taken out of context.
I'm never going to have to shave or wax again. That wouldn't happen. Hello. It's just not appropriate. Please watch closely as I use my lips. Wow. That's just, I mean, it's early. That's taken from an instructional video. Gigantic. Listen to you. That's from a laser away commercial. You are really ballsy. You're creepy. I don't even know what kind of perverted. Some robot sex you're involved in. You're such a weirdo. From Germany, probably. Definitely. Cyborg. Or Japan. Yes. Japanese robot pornography is really creeping me out. Hey, plus it's anime. Yeah. On top of it all, it's anime. Well, that's the best part. Yeah. Woo. All right, here you go. If you haven't already heard, the lead singer of Warrant, Janie Lane, is dead. At the age of 47 years old. Wow. Youngster. They found his body at a comfort inn motel in Woodland Hills. I said to Woods, you know, nothing good is happening at a comfort inn. No, sir. Nothing good. No, sir. You don't go there for a relaxing weekend. No, you don't go there for the, you know, the continental breakfast. No.
It is not about that, especially when you are a former star. You certainly don't hang out at the Comfort Inn. Most likely, it was a drug or alcohol thing. I would have to imagine, man. You hate to assume, but boy, where there's smoke, there's fire a lot of times. Let's see. After some personal business and squabbles, Janie Lane left the band Warrant in 2004. I remember seeing Warrant. In Dallas. Yes, sir. Way after they had broken up. Not broken up, but their fame. I was there. You were there. I was there. 2001. Things did not work out for them. He was married to that actress and model, Bobby Brown. Do you guys remember her?
She was in the cherry pie video. Do you remember, Elodie? Yeah, I remember as a kid thinking that that video might as well have been porn. I was like, oh my gosh. Pretty out there. And I thought she was sexy, and I was a 10-year-old girl. She was a dime and a half. However old I was. Well, he's had his last slice of cherry pie, and I'm sad about it because I was a big Warrant fan. Yeah. French kissed many a girl to blind faith and heaven and all those. Many a girl. Nubian Prince has been hanging with us here. Nubian Prince, were you a Warrant fan at any time in your life? I would listen every now and then. I was more into Deftones. A little bit more of the harder stuff. I did not like, I was not a Warrant guy. See, to me, Warrant was in the same category as Poison. Loved them. I wasn't into that makeup. What about the Nelson Twins? They're sub-Warrant. The Nelson Twins were sub-Warrant. They were played on Top 40 stations. And Warrant and Poison were supposed to be rock stars. They were. Hey, did you want to say anything specific or were you just calling to say hi?
Oh, no, well, yeah, but can I tell you guys a little quick bit of news? Sure. I'm engaged now, man. Hey! Congrats! What did LLB tell us? Yeah. Congrats. I knew he was talking to her dad, so. Yeah. Talking to her dad, yeah, and she said yes last Friday. Aw. That's great. That is awesome. Yeah, she makes my face happy. That's awesome, dude. That's very cool. Congratulations, pal. Y'all, I thought I'm about to put this stuff on Facebook, but I changed my picture to kind of show how happy I am. That's awesome. I'm going to check it out. Are you on, are we friends on Facebook? Where? I know I'm friends with the show, and Lauren and Jay and L.O.B., but I don't know if I'm friends specifically with you yet, Mikey. Easy big time. Who big time, him or me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to look for you, Mikey, but I... I didn't know how to look for you other than the show. You look for me under my nom de plume, which is Mike Esparza. Oh, okay. It's French for gay name. Yep. Oh, wow. Thank you. Thank you very much. Love you guys. Say what up, black people. Love you. Congrats. That is M1 Nubian Prince. You guys about to walk the plank real good. No. About to not get some. Yes, he is. You guys are terrible.
How dare you? No, dude. Marriage is awesome. It is awesome. I'm saying it's awesome. Yeah. My missus is the best. Yeah, she is. I wish we could just all make a deal about each other's wives. Oh, 0%. It's too much fun, Mike. It's way too much fun. I saw Jay's little angelic wife sitting on the beach yesterday. Little angel. Yes, indeed. Gorgeous. Poor Kim has no idea that her husband's friend Woods is taking a gander. Oh, big gander. She knows. She has no idea. She knows he's a dirty bird. My wife knows the same about him. Your wife knows the same about me and him. I know the same about you and him. I mean, you know. It's dudes. It's dudes. We're not having wife swap or tea party or anything. We're not? I would rather not. Ignore that evite I sent in. We're not doing that. We're not going that far, but your wife's very attractive. Stop talking. Jay's wife is super attractive. They're all beautiful. They're all dimes. They should all kiss. Oh, they should all kiss. On the lips. That's weird. That's really weird. Yeah. And I do not look at your wife like that. Don't you? No, I don't. I look at Jay's wife like that. Look at either of your wives in that way. Don't you? Well, you can if you want. Then you're dead. That's what I'm telling you.
I'm saying you can if you like. She's a very beautiful woman. Big-breasted, the whole thing. Oh, yeah. The whole package. The whole package. How could you say that? That's your wife. He doesn't care about his wife. Oh, my God. Yes. He just wants all other men to just take ganders. That's right. I would. I like to have it on display. Look at this and what I got. I know. That is very true. But you've also said, I don't care. V.S. I have not. If you cared that much, they'd have to wear like a burka. Right. It's like, hey, I don't want you wearing anything that men can see you in. Hey, I'm fine with my wife wearing a burka. Oh, please don't do that to us. Listen. Yeah, don't do that. I don't like other men looking at my wife. That's my wife. That's my woman. That's right, but you know who she's coming home to. It makes you feel good. Yeah, fine. You look all you want. Great. I just don't need anybody sniffing around. Get away. Well, I'm not married, as we all know, but I know my boyfriend appreciates the appreciation. Yes. He gets a kick out of it, in fact. It's great. It makes a man feel good. You might have her button a few more buttons if you don't want guys looking at her. Oh, my.
God. I'm just saying. They're on display. Mine or her? Just all of them. Well, Mackie, but now that he's looking at me like that, I guess all of y'alls. Mack, listen. If she wasn't throwing them out there, like, you know, just pushing them up my face. Like a hooker. When I said they were cute twins, I wasn't talking about your kids. Wow. You ever just hit a fastball right out of the ballpark? Poor Rebecca. Oh, my jaw just dropped open. That was too far. That was shocking. Gun shows in town. Still going. Going to Tucson? What are you doing in my shower? Don't play coy. Jay, get out. Do your thing. I have a rape whistle. If you don't get out, I'm going to blow it.
We have to take it to that extreme. Why don't you just get it out of your system? Like, oh, Jay, what's it doing here? One, two, three. But you're out, it says. Exactly. Get out. Hey, what? Hi. Can you get Jay out of here? Mike's still too strong? Yeah, you know that. Hey. What are you doing here? Nothing. What are you doing here? Getting jealous is what I'm doing. What is welcome here, okay? Shut your mouth. Shut your dirty, filthy mouth. That's awful. Maybe we don't talk about that. Maybe we have a moment of silence for Jamie Lane right now. Oh, there it was. There it is. There was the moment.
Yeah, Janie Lane dead at 47. Mitt Romney was hitting the campaign trail, went to a state fair, and had somebody just start yelling stuff out. It's that same bit. Man. And somebody else decided they were going to yell stuff out. I didn't vote for Mitt Romney, but I think I would. Held his own. You'll hear it coming up. The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Hey, AT&T is great, man. They are doing so much cool stuff, including U-verse for $29 a month, six months, DVR included. Now, what you do is you get to take that U-verse experience with you because as long as you get, as long as you got a smartphone or you get a wireless signal, you're good to go. You can program your DVR from another place. It's really, really cool. Easy access to the latest Hollywood hits.
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Because we'd like to pour you a nice cold banquet. Company Gold in Colorado. Coors Banquet believes with great beer comes great responsibility. Morning, Joe. Morning, Miss Thompson. One of these days, it's going to happen. Somebody's going to try to talk you out of Boar's Head. Joe, I'd like a half pound of that Boar's Head turkey. I got something for you, Mrs. T. It's a new turkey on special. It's not Boar's Head, Joe. Well, they tell me it's kind of like Boar's Head. It's not boar's head, Joe. It's almost boar's head. It's not boar's head. Do it for me, huh? What do you say? What do I say? It's not boar's head. Yeah, I know. So I take it this boar's head is what you want, huh? That's what I like about you, Joe. You catch on quick. Everyone knows boar's head oven gold is the best turkey in America. But to get it, sometimes you have to insist. Ask them to show you...
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Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. Stevie! Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet. I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 RX 350 for $4.59 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 RX350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid on the Lexus Western Areas only and end September 6, 2011.
This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. Severe weather can affect your car, your boat, your motorcycle, and more. Protect them all with an Allstate agent. They can bundle your policies, help you save big. Are you in good hands? Heading on the freeways, looks like the 5 northbound before the Coronado Bridge, that earlier accident, has cleared. Also, the 52 eastbound at Santo Road, we have a car that's stuck in the middle of the left two lanes. Also, be aware this morning, the Rosecrans area street, Rosecrans Street, sorry, I'll spit it out here, Rosecrans Street. Between Nimitz Boulevard and Leighton Street, you're going to find some delays through about 12.30 this afternoon. The funeral for San Diego PD officer Jeremy Henwood is taking place. That motorcade begins at Qualcomm Stadium. The motorcade will start at 8.15. The funeral begins at 10 a.m. They're expecting about 1,000 officers from various areas. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks, and now many McDonald's are open. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Safe to say Tiger Woods sucks. Just not a very good golfer. I was going to mention that to you this morning and say that.
When are people going to stop talking about a guy that throws up 75s, 72s every round now, these days? Well, I mean, to me, dude, I guess the fascination exists because if Mike Tyson was knocking guys out his entire career in the first round and went from that to getting knocked out every fight he had, people would be like, Wow, that's really a trip. It is a trip, man. But at some point, there are so many good golfers and up-and-coming young guys that should be getting this attention, really. I mean, every time I look at a headline, it's, Tiger shoots 77. So-and-so shoots 63. And it's like, guys, he's an average golfer right now. Average. When are we going to stop? If they never mentioned him, you wouldn't be curious? No, not anymore. I'm like, I mean, start. Start winning again? Yeah, I'm going to watch on Sunday. See, I think there's a story in the fact he's a loser, but that, you know. Well, that story's been going on a while. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, a couple things. First of all, the word of the day is Mountain. Haven't said it yet. And so when I do, Caller 9, you will get a $100 gift certificate to the Ali Action Sports Warehouse sale going on August 18th to the 21st. You may say to yourself, what's the big deal with that? The big deal with it is.
A lot of stuff that you want at like bargain basement prices. Also, plus we're going to give you the gift certificate. So you go in there, you get cool stuff from Volcom, DC Burton. There's really cool stuff in there. Lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. All you have to do is listen for a word. I'll say it between now and 10. And that word again is mountain. So in Aruba, this is a really strange story. We were just talking about this dude that we had on the air that he went to visit his girlfriend at UTC. And it turns out that she was having lunch with a guy. And he called us and said, I'm on the phone with her. And she's saying that she's having lunch by herself. And she's sitting there with a guy. And then we called her and asked her about it. She said, oh, yeah, he's gay. The guy's gay. You silly sausage. Yeah.
And so we went, oh, OK. And she goes to her boyfriend, who's also on the line. She says, well, if you don't believe me, come and meet him. So he did. And he called us back yesterday and said, yeah, it turns out the guy's gay. Now, there is a woman that went missing in Aruba. And she went there to Aruba on August 2nd with a guy that she claimed was her friend and gay. Now, why did she claim that? Well, because her husband may be curious who it was. Boyfriend. Boyfriend may be curious who it was that she's going to Aruba with. Oh, don't worry. It's my gay friend. Well, he wasn't gay. And now they're saying that he may be, he's like the lead suspect. Bad things in Aruba. This guy's a sketchball too, man. I did a little. reading on it last night. He's very sketchy. He's got a couple of domestic violence claims and all kinds of stuff in that guy's background. Oh, just terrible. I don't care if you are gay. You're not going with my girlfriend to Aruba. Right. Yes. You might switch teams just for the night. Well, not only might you switch teams, but it just isn't appropriate to go to Aruba with a member of the opposite sex. I don't care if he's gay. You might be by curious. Yeah, you might be a switch hitter.
Even if he's not, let's say he's not a switch hitter. Let's say that he's gay. Okay. And he has a partner of his own. And his partner isn't going. Yeah. And he wants to go with your girlfriend or wife. No. No. It's a dude. It's a dude. I still got a wiener. I'm out. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. Would you not let her go with one of her girlfriends? Yes. I would let her go with one of her girlfriends. Because one of her girlfriends. doesn't have a wiener and testosterone. That guy still got testosterone. It's not a wife, it's a girlfriend. I'm sure the bit was, well I do, but you can't get time. You can't go. If I had a friend that was gay and that person could go too, I would go and I wouldn't expect any pushback from my boyfriend. My deal would be, if I were your boyfriend, well that's weird because I didn't think you'd be bringing this up.
Well, then maybe you come with me. I would love to, but you know I'm working. I can't. I want to go. And here we are. Well, why don't we wait then until I can go? Because I want to go. This is the only time I get, and I got my cousin's timeshare. Well, wait a minute. Jeffrey can go. It's the only time that you can get. Jeffrey's the only person that can go with me. I'm sure you'd get another time. Yeah. No, it's just now. I want a vacation with you, though. Yeah, I want to be with you. Okay, then make it happen. Let's go. I'll tell Jeffrey that you're going instead. I did everything I could do to get this thing off. I don't want you to go there with a guy just because Jeff's gay. Well, happy birthday. I only get vacation once a year and I happen to be off right now. I'm sorry to say you're kind of a D. I'm Jeffrey and I'm going with her to Aruba whether you like it or not. I don't believe that you're gay. Oh, I'm gay as gay can be. Okay, fine. Maybe you are, but what if you guys go... No, no, no, no. I'm not buying that. You wouldn't be attracted to me. See, he's not gay. I'm so gay. No, he's not. I'm so gay. Get your head off her shoulder. I'm so gay. Stop rubbing his arm. We're BFF. We're BFF. Listen. What? You guys go there and you start having drinks. Who knows what this guy will do? What? You're paranoid. Or, okay.
I'm going to go with Susie, the lesbian from down the street. She's hot. I mean, she is super hot, but I'm sorry you can't get off, Lauren. I'm going to take my lesbian girlfriend. Hey, if they're friends. Oh, we're friends with friends. I am giving L.O.B. the look. She's crazy. There's no way you'd let me go with a girl. I am giving her the look. Did we say that Jeffrey was hot? Yeah, Jeffrey's hot. Jeffrey is a stud. He is well manicured. But he likes dudes. Allegedly. Allegedly. But Susie, she's got a girlfriend. Hey, listen. A serious girlfriend. I am friends with a girl that is a lesbian. My wife ain't letting me go on any trip with this girl. No way. There's no way. And I don't care if she knew her and they were friends. They're not. But if they were, still. So think about it honestly. Would you let Matt go? If I knew her and they were friends, then yes. Okay, can I be your, let's do a little role play. Okay. Hey, go into Tucson, babe, and you can't go. And so I'm going to take Carrie because you're on the radio that week. Tucson? Yeah, I'm going to go and visit my brother. You're going to take someone that you're not dating to go see your family? Yeah, but we're like BFFs.
That's weird. Why? Why are you going to see your family with someone? Why don't you just take Troy with you? Would you do that? That's kind of weird. I would take Troy if we were as close as me and Carrie are. But if you don't want that, fine. I'd see that there's some really good deals right now to go to Hawaii. Okay. That's cool? Yeah. I could take Carrie to Hawaii? Yeah. I mean, happy birthday. I'll be here in the trenches doing work. Yeah. But I'll call you every day. I'll call you. He'll be in Hawaii doing work. I'll call you from Hawaii every day. Okay. I'll be doing work over in Hawaii. I'll bring you a lay. I am so not buying her right now. There's no chance that that would ever happen. She's dug in. The throat would be cut. The throat would be cut. Before I got it out of my... I'd be like, hey, since you're going to be working, I was thinking about taking Carrie to... blood everywhere. You know what a Colombian necktie is? Yeah, she'd be giving me a Colombian necktie before it was ever done being spotted. If it was a real lesbian and not a fake lesbian. Well, it would be a real lesbian. Well, then have at it. You don't know what'll happen? Yeah.
What? And you wouldn't say how bad. If you know that it's a real lesbian. Him and his friends can decide to experiment. Two guys. You can see. Okay. Oh, really? Now you're just reaching. What? Now we know a lot more about Matt. Yeah, because you know Matt is not. Matt's experimenting. Matt's not bi-curious. He's not. Just because she's a lesbian doesn't mean she doesn't have working parts. What? So do the guys. I'm not using that part. All right. Don't do that. Don't do that. She just called her boyfriend bi-curious. She's joking. Listen, if Matt, your boyfriend, who is not bi and who is very straight, if he, and this girl, you know that this girl is like, she's gay, lives with another girl. Yeah. And he says, hey, babe, I have always wanted to go. Okay, you'll make an argument. Hey, babe, I want to go to. How about Aruba? It's the same thing. Let's do the same thing. All right. I want to go to Aruba. And I want to take a cruise. Okay. Are you cool? I'm going to take Carrie. HBD. Go ahead. All right. Cool. I just wanted to check with you, but we're going to stay in the same room to save money. But it doesn't matter because she's practically like a guy. I trust Carrie. You trust me. And you trust Carrie. You trust both of us. Yeah. I trust Carrie. You trust Carrie to stay a lesbian for that trip. Really? Yeah.
Just care to take care of you. A few drinks might do the trick. Yep. Oh, for sure. She didn't take care of me. She's going to remember, you know what? I was with the guy a couple times. Yeah. Feels real good. We're on the open sea. Feels real good outside. Turn the lights off. You're looking good. Matt's got a great body. And what happens in international waters stays in international waters. But I'm with the wrong guy. Matt, wear this wig. She is giving us such. She's full of it. Capital B dot. Capital S. Now, there's a bunch of girls that I know that go through these phases of, you know, one year they're a lesbian, the next year they're straight again. If this is a real gay woman, that's the memo we got? Yes, gay. Okay, gay. Gay woman, then have at it. All right. Yeah, she's... For the record, I like those girls that experiment. Yeah, I know. I have no problem with that whatsoever. Mitt Romney went to...
a state fair in Iowa, and he got heckled. Now, I'm going to play you this, and I made an observation. The Social Security payroll cap so that rich people pay their fair share into the trust fund. Rocky and Bullwinkle and friends. And now it's time to meet Mr. Brown. Sorry, I just, when I heard it, I thought to myself, that sounds like someone I know. I can't stand you, Mitt Romney. I didn't know Rocky was in the crowd. Rocky and Bull Ankle and friends. And now it's time to meet Mr. Peabody. You support scrapping the Social Security payroll cap so that rich people pay their fair share into the trust fund. You know, it's become a very popular... The question was, do I support raising the cap on Social Security taxes so that rich people pay their fair share?
You know, there was a time in this country that we didn't celebrate attacking people based on their success. And when we didn't go after people because they were successful. And I happen to think, I've watched this president go across the country attacking people. And if you want to speak, you can speak. But right now it's my turn. So let me continue. And that is this. All the streets in America are connected. I've watched people attack Wall Street. You know what? We're connected. We're not going to tear down other Americans. We want to make sure people do pay their fair share. Half the people in this country pay no income tax at all. All right? So when we talk about fair share, we've got to think about what is a fair share for the American people. But this we know. We don't want to raise taxes on the American people. We don't want to grow government. Thank you. Because government is too large already. We want to restrain the growth of government. And when it comes to social... Say again, Woodsy. Heard all those bits before. for. What's that? I don't want to raise taxes. Come on, dude. That's campaign 101. I won't raise taxes. Won't you, in fact? This is what's great. Regardless of parties. It doesn't matter. Barack Obama said, I'm going to raise taxes, but only on the wealthy. And he hasn't. He has not raised taxes. Give him time. He's still got time.
Well, that's what all this stuff was just about. He was really just trying to, and it didn't happen. And, you know, I'm conservative. I believe in smaller government, and I don't believe in raising people's taxes. Nor do I. I don't think it's cool, and I don't think it's right. I'm just saying it's a fruitless claim. You know, it's an empty promise, an empty claim, more than likely. Hollow. Hollow is the word. With the first Bush, that was the deal. That was his famous, read my lips. I will not raise taxes. And then he raised taxes. Real good. He had to. In Medicare and Medicaid, the truth is the promises we're making 20-year-olds, 30-year-olds, and 40-year-olds have to be promises we can keep. And you may say we should just raise everybody's taxes. And what he's saying there is that, hey, I'd love to be able to say to you 30- and 40-year-olds, 20, 30, 40-year-olds, I'd love to be able to say to you, hey, man, it's going to be great. In a little while, you're going to be able to retire and get Social Security. Well, the truth of the matter is, either we're not going to or it's going to be significantly less than it is now. That's just a fact of the matter. And we've all been paying into it. We've all been paying into this stipend. But guess what, man? I mean, if you want to balance a budget, and I'm among those people that have been paying into it, but I don't believe.
and have not believed in raising people's taxes. Now, my brother Mark, oh, my gosh. Oh, did we have a go. Again? About the taxes. Mm-hmm. And he said, all right, enough with the Wikipedia. Just enough with it. What are you, Wikipedia master? You Wikipedia man? You Wikipedia man? You got a big W on your cape? Do you know what the tax rate would have to be to be able to honor the promises of Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid if we just raise taxes and leave the programs as they are? Right now, those programs combined take a payroll tax out of your earnings of 15.3%. That would have to rise to 44%. Think about it. Your paycheck, 44% taken out of it. 44%.
taken out and just cut it in half. Whatever you, whatever that gross is, just cut it in half. Could be slinging drinks real good on the weekend at a couple local bars. Yeah, and you know what? At the end of the night, Uncle Sam's going to walk up to you and go, you got some tips, right? Yeah. What do you got? I got $100. That's cool. Just give me, I'm not going to take, how much, Hunter? Yeah, I got $100. I'm not going to take $50 from you. Just give me $44. Okay, that's so fresh. That's why you tell Uncle Sam that you only made $40. Yep, that's right. that night. I know you do. We're not going to do that. And so I'm glad you're on social security. This is a new guy. New guy stands up. Mitt, let me have a PCF. Hold on just a moment. Hold on just a moment. Hold on just a moment. You know what? I get a chance. I can let you speak in a moment. No, no, no. I came here to speak and he'll get to ask a question. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. I'll let you speak. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. That guy's fun to hang out with. Let's go to Applebee's with that dude and just, hey, you going to get some chips and some queso or what do you think? I am not eating at Applebee's. They are a corporate monster. I'm sorry. And they mistreat people. Okay, okay. Where do you want to go? I'll go wherever you want. Anywhere but there. Let's go to Chili's. No. You don't want to go to Chili's? No. No.
Are they corporate, too? Yes. Sorry. I need an independent restaurant. Well, we're going to have to drive to Yuma. I'm not driving because of gas and fossil fuel prices. Okay, okay, okay. Idiot. All right. I'm so sorry. I don't know how we got to be friends, but I'm... Yeah. What? What did you have to say? Medicare is a tremendous program. Shocking to me. That guy is actually able to get sleep at some point. That's what shocks me because I think to myself, he's so alive. I mean, that guy is alive. In fact, when he's done, I would go. What are you a strength in Social Security? Medicare and Medicaid without cutting benefits. All right, let's get his answer. Let's get his answer. Okay, let's... All right, you've had your chance. Anything else you want to say? Well, I'm going to see what you're going to say. Well, the way this is going to work... The way this is going to work is that you get to ask... And then whatever you say, I'm just going to yell at it. I don't really care. I'm not going to listen while you're saying it. While you're talking, all I'm going to do is think about what I'm going to say next. Your question, I get to give my answer.
If you don't like my answer, you can vote for someone else. Perfect. I love it. My turn to give my answer. Woo! I like that. Love it. Sounds to me like a plant. It ain't a plant. I don't know. Oh, no. You ready for my answer? I'm not going to raise taxes. That's my answer. I'm not going to raise taxes. And if you want somebody that can raise taxes, you can vote for Barack Obama. Wow. Yeah. This is going to get ugly. Yeah. It's going to get ugly. The problem, if you want to call it problem in quotes, is we're all living too long. These benefits. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They didn't anticipate all that. Yeah. I'm not worried about it. Yeah, you won't have to. You'd be dead. You know you're clogging them up with Crisco right as we speak. That's right. You know that. I saw you shoveling sausage in your mouth again this morning. It's a debt crisis. The answer, I'll solve it. Crisco. I'll solve it. I'll solve it right now. If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it. By the way, we are located in Mission Valley. We're in the Booz Allen Hamilton building, and we're going to see the procession going by a little bit later on, probably sometime between 8.30 and 9 a.m. this morning. The motorcade for Officer Jeremy Henwood, who was killed, is going to be leaving Qualcomm Stadium at 8.30 this morning, and it's going to go down Friars.
It's going to proceed down to SeaWorld Drive, then turn on to Nimitz, go on to Rosecrance, and eventually end up at the Rock Church for a 10 o'clock service this morning for Officer Henwood. Very, very sad that we lost him. And, you know, I think it's really, really cool that they're going to be doing a six by four foot Stars and Stripes on display for him this morning. But that is sad news, but that's something that we wanted to make sure that we mentioned to you and that we pointed out to you today. L.O.B. probably wouldn't like the question that was asked of Michelle Bachman. Michelle Bachman probably didn't like it either. It's the type of thing that I know that Woods might say to L.O.B. just to get her going. We have audio of it. It's coming up. a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. Hey, I'm hearing all this talk about 4G in San Diego. So I go to Verizon and I ask the sales guy, so 4G, huh? What's the big deal?
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This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Make an appointment with their experts. See your dealer for details. Rosecrans Street in both directions between Nimitz Boulevard and Lighton Street. There's a funeral procession for police officer Jeremy Henwood. That's at Rock Church. Starts at 10 a.m. A police motorcade will begin before services at Qualcomm Stadium. So Travagon Rosecrans is going to be limited in both directions. That service with the motorcade starts at 815 this morning. Also, looking at the freeways, Escondido, the 78 eastbound, expect some congestion between Center City Parkway and Bear Valley Parkway. Patches is slowing throughout this whole stretch. And looks like the 15 southbound Imperial Avenue, some slight delays. This report brought to you by Del Taco. Try the new 59-cent Chipotle value bean and cheese burrito at Del Taco. Slow-cooked beans, new creamy Chipotle sauce. It's bold Chipotle. flavor for just pocket change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
I guess among some of these Taliban insurgents were the ones that shut down the SEAL helicopter. Good. It's always nice to send them straight to hell. And we did. Postal Service is asking Congress for 120,000 layoffs. 120,000 layoffs. And they want to overhaul the benefits because they're trying to save a lot of money. They say... That they need to eliminate 220,000 positions by more than 30% by 2015, which is really gnarly. You know, because we do so much online bill paying now and the mail just isn't what it used to be, we don't use it for what we used to use it for. In 2010, Postal Service lost 8.5 billion bucks. That's how much our net losses were in the post office in 2010.
The year before that, it was $3.8 billion. So it went from $3.8 billion to $8.5 billion. And so far this year, we've already lost $2.2 billion. Oh, my gosh. You know, so. You're going to shut the mother down. No doubt. I mean, I know that there's still use for, you know, for mailing. Oh, yeah. But at the same time, I don't know. Maybe we should put that money in the Postal Service and have them. Start doing stuff with the internet or doing, I don't know. Who knows? It's supposed to be not-for-profit, but they've got to turn over something. Just hemorrhage money? Yeah, well, yeah. Woods, what do you got going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some! Yeah, well, the future looks bright for Corey Lubke and the Padres. This kid is a good young pitcher. Their winning streak is two. They beat the Mets 3-2 last night, and that's always a good thing. Not for me particularly, because if they win four more, I have to shave my head in a fryer's cut. Very true. It's the dumbest bet I've ever made. Now I have to root against them, which I never wanted to do. Also, the PGA Championship started yesterday in Atlanta. Steve Stricker shot a 60.
three in the opening round, which is great. Everybody's favorite, Tiger Woods, busted out with a 77. That's seven over par. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's not good. No, dude. It isn't good. Guy's lost his mojo. He has. This is Michelle Bachman. She is a GOP candidate. Fox News was doing a debate. And listen to the crowd react to this question. When you were running for Congress, You described a moment in your life when your husband said you should study for a degree in tax law. You said you hated the idea. And then you explained, quote, but the Lord said, be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands. As president, would you be submissive to your husband? Now, here is my question. Who are they booing? Him. They're booing him. 100% for even bringing that up. Right. Like, what?
What are you doing? He was doing a very circuitous route to something else. You know what I mean? No, I like the word. You know what I mean? He was really grasping at straws on that one. He was trying to show that a woman can't be president because they're too submissive. That's what he was illustrating. I think maybe he's just holding her to what she said. Well, in marriage, it's give and take. It's different than holding the presidential office. Well, it goes further. Don't you think? Well, I'll say what I mean. He says, well, let's hear him for himself. Don't want to put words in anybody's mouth. You said you hated the idea. And then you explained, quote, but the Lord said, be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands. As president, would you be submissive to your husband? How can it not go deeper, L-O-B? What do you mean deeper? How can it not go deeper?
than just, hey, I want to point out the fact that women are submissive and that's why they wouldn't make a good president. I don't think that's what he's getting at at all. Don't you think, well, he's saying, I guess maybe particularly her, she's a submissive character and she'll probably succumb to influence from her husband and maybe other men that are around her. That's the only deeper that I see. See, and I think that he's got... various layers of an onion that he's throwing at her. He's throwing an onion at her and it's got a few layers. I'm sure he does. You know, on one layer, he's saying, so who's really the boss if you're president? You or your husband? You know, what if your husband doesn't agree with the policy that you're making on China? Well, yeah. And so he says to you, I don't think you should do that. Are you going to remain submissive to him? That's the first part of the onion. And then the second part of the onion is, Seems to me like you're blurring the lines between church and state. Because after all, you made these comments based on your religion. Yeah, that's true. Look at you. That's a good observation there, man. That's what I'm seeing. It's a good observation. A lot of people use that against George Bush. So they're trying to bring up the whole, oh, we got another Bible thumper in here. Of course. No offense, Mikey. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Wow. I didn't really mean that as a joke. Oh, gosh. But I'm not. I know you're not. I'm just saying the term is offensive, Bible thumper. But if you didn't mean it as a joke, you meant that, Mike, you are a Bible thumper. No, but I know how much you like the Bible, so I don't want to desecrate it or, you know. You know how much I like. You collect Bibles. Yeah. Many of them. Fair enough. So, in fact, you do thump them. Don't call them a Bible thumper. It's Bible beater, L-O-B, is what it is. Okay, my bad. That's more... Thank you for that question, Byron. Marcus and I will be married for 33 years this September 10th. I'm in love with him. I'm so proud of him. And both he and I, what submission means to us, if that's what your question is, it means respect. I respect my husband. He's a wonderful, godly man and a great father. And he respects me as his wife. That's how we operate our marriage. We respect each other. We love each other. Got any problems? Anybody got any problems? Is he submissive to you? No. Who wears the ball gag? Yeah. Is what Jay's trying to say. That's what I'm trying to figure out. That's where he's leading it. Sex. Is there a safe word that you use? Palomino. Thank goodness you have one. Palomino.
I wish sometimes I could use that word with J. Tell me about me. Anytime you want. I'd be saying it 50 times per show. We should come up with the Mikey Show safe word for Mikey. And after the show, Mike. Yeah, the show ain't over when the show's over. No. I keep going, Mike. You know that. I just sat there yesterday when the show was over and I just kept throwing them at you. Hey, fatty. Both y'all fat asses. Give your ideas. I gotta go surf. Cool thing is, is I can throw them at you all day long. Ain't going to break through the first layer. It's too thick. It's too thick. It's like a walrus. It's like shooting a walrus with a BB gun. It's going to sting, but it ain't going to hurt. It's like throwing popsicle sticks at a walrus. Ain't going to hurt that little old walrus. By little old, I mean thick. Fat. Chubby. Subtaneous fat. You know that. Here's Newt Gingrich.
Telling Chris Wallace that he's playing Mickey Mouse games. How do you respond to people who say that your campaign has been a mess so far? Well, let me say, first of all, Chris, that I took serious... Well, basically, by people, I mean me. When people say that your campaign has been a mess so far, really, it's me saying it. And my entire staff here. And my staff that came up with a question. Brat's injunction to put aside the talking points. And I wish you would put aside the gotcha questions. Thank you. I'm glad he said that. The gotcha questions. That's what it is. That's what the Michelle Bachman question was. And that's what this question is. You cannot defend Newt Gingrich and his actions. And you cannot defend a guy asking him about his actions. He didn't. He didn't ask him about his actions. He said your campaign's been a mess so far due to some of the crazy things that guy's done. That's not. That's not a gotcha question. That's not a gotcha question. His campaign's been a mess so far. But why has it been a mess? Because he's a big, giant creep. That's incorrect, sir. It is. That's not why. Gotcha questions are just questions that have to be answered. I mean, it's like if you did something that may have been questionable, yeah, of course, don't ask me that. It's not about that. It's not what he's asking. The reason he said that is because he has had campaign organizers.
that have dropped out of the campaign because he's a ball buster it doesn't have anything to do with impropriety that's a whole other issue newt and his improprieties which you can bring up fair to bring up that's what in fact it will be brought up right no what he's talking about is your campaign's a mess because your campaign advisor retired yeah you're another guy uh that was real big in your campaign thing quit and so now you've had to hire two new guys on the run That's what he's saying, which they need to be answered. Now, his sexual impropriety and all that other stuff, that's a whole other issue. By the way, do I think Newt Gingrich is... I'd never vote for Newt Gingrich. Why do you have a shirt that says, I will vote for Newt freaking Gingrich on them? Because I was able to fit it all on one t-shirt. And I thought that was kind of cool. Why do you now call all three of your boys Newt at home for their nicknames? As pet names. That's not true. I call one of them Ging.
I call one gang. To see the rest of tonight's debate asking us about what we would do to lead an America who's president. See, that's what I want to just ask questions about what I'd be like as a president. Ask that. Happy birthday, pal. Hey, dude, guess what? I'm going to talk about a Democrat. Bill Clinton. The guy was a philanderer. He was a cheater. Does that mean that he also he's incapable of doing a job as a president? No, it doesn't. It doesn't. And he did a fine job as a president. But did he or did he not have to answer for it? Yeah, he did. Okay, Mike, you're running for president, right? And it wasn't during a campaign, by the way. No, I know. It wasn't during a campaign. It was during his presidency. I know. But had it been during a campaign, he would have been hammered on it. And probably wouldn't have been elected. And he will get hammered on it by the candidates themselves. So you're running. Which, by the way, I also think is horse bleep.
Well, so you're running for president. Michael R. Esparza is running for president. So you're telling me that the only issues that we should stick to are what you're going to do in the future. Your past doesn't matter. Anything that you've done in your past cannot be called into question. I don't buy that. That's why I can never run for... I couldn't get elected to the Water Council of San Diego because I've got arrests for drinking and driving 10 years ago. And I should be asked about that. And here's the deal, though, L.O.B. Has he changed? Yeah, that's the thing. And that's why the person should be given a chance to speak on it. Yeah. Well, there's not one person in the world that isn't guilty of impropriety of some sort. I mean, we're all guilty of like being having a sophomore year in college, except for me, since I. I never went to college. I had like seven sophomore years after that. Yeah, I mean, I had like eight sophomore years in a row. But we want to know about it. We want to be able to judge your character by who you were. And really, you know what I want to know? How are you going to fix the economy? What are you going to do about unemployment? What are you going to do about our deficit? SG&T, bro. That sounds good, not true. That's so SG&T. You don't think that those things matter?
Dude, I think they matter. See, and I say the other stuff, it doesn't matter to me. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear about who you were having sex with. I don't. I don't care. I want to know about the freaking economy. You know why I care? Because it's abuse of freaking power, man. And we have elected too many people that abuse their power, dude. I agree. I mean, son of a gun, dude. I was thinking the other day, I was walking in here, I was doing the news, and I go, I wonder if there's one moral politician. One. That is just a good dude. The guy's just a good guy, man. He loves his wife. He's a great dad. And he gives an ass about this country. Is there one? Yes, we elected him president. Okay, that's why I was elected. I'm a good guy. The full package then. Super intelligent, able to fix the country. Are you saying I'm not able to fix the country? I am saying you're not able to fix the country. Haven't I in fact fixed? You have not. I voted for you. Yeah, I fixed the country. It's not a one-man job. Right, it's not. You live in a better country today than you did before I was elected. I don't. I think if it was just up to you, we'd be fixed. Hey, excuse me. Did I not bring J-Lo back to American Idol? You did. That's true. You did do a hell of a job on Unsolved Mysteries or what was it? Mythbusters. Mythbusters. Yeah, I did. You did a great job. I was great on The View. I also, just so you know,
And a lot of people don't draw attention to it, which kind of upsets me. But a lot of people don't realize I was single-handedly in charge of getting Star Jones off the view. Now that is worthy of re-election in and of itself. See, to me, that's kind of a moot point because I don't watch the view either way. Only because you're working. But I know it's Woods' favorite show that he DVRs. He DVRs it. True statement. Michael Esparza. I realized that we got to know you better yesterday. Oh, yeah. Big time. All of San Diego. You and your sex pervert playlist. It was not sex pervert. And by the way, that list will be purged and I will have to start over. Now we've sullied it for you. Yes, I'll think of Woods thrusting like a jackhammer. It probably was the first time, Jay, that she thought of me thrusting. I don't know. I talked to her during breaks.
If we worked together maybe 10 years ago, maybe that'd be a different story, but not these days. Ooh, babe, ooh. Ooh, babe, ooh. Sign me up for that. Well. It's little rabbits jump high, so they say. Yep. It's a Hungarian phrase that my nanny has. It sounds better in Hungarian, but she says that in English it means little bunnies jump high. It means the shy girl. Not always the shy girl, is she? Ella B, tell me something about you that I don't know. Crazy horny. I know that already. Let's see. Just anything? I'll give you a second to think about it. It has to be something I don't know. And I will call you on it. What I have in my closet. And it must be true. You cannot make this up. Oh, here's something that probably not a lot of people would know about me. What? I have a Bazooka Joe comic collection. Is that the kind of thing you were looking for? More like...
First of all, I need to know if that's true. Yeah, that's true. That's true? Yeah, I was trying to think, like, what do I have in my closets? And then I literally visualize my closet. Your closet? Yeah. Bazooka Joe. The comics. Yes. Are they comic books? No, they're the little... Okay, so you open the pieces of gum. The gum. You have to open them very carefully. Do you? Yes, because otherwise you might rip the comic. I've got a lot of duplicates. It's like on a waxy paper, right? How long have you done that? Since about probably 10. And I have a... She's 30. She's been doing this 20 years. Are those going to be of any value whatsoever? I'm holding on to them in case they are. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't think that... I didn't think I was going to get something that good.
I need to ask you this more often. Yeah, once a week at least. Yeah, I used to do the dum-dum wrappers to try to get like a, you know, the little lollipops that were called dum-dums? Get them at the bank. Yeah, I don't save those anymore because you have to mail them in to get stuff. So the little comic book things, I have them actually numbered in order and I have a lot of duplicates too. So if anyone listening has those out there or if you chew a lot of Bazooka Joe gum, you can... Mail them to me. But the audience that you'd be speaking to is way too young to be listening right now. But maybe they have kids. Maybe they have kids. Well, I can assure you, though, that you are the only human in this country that collects them. No way. Oh, yeah. Earth. Earth. Maybe it's an East Coast thing. No. Maybe not. No Coast. It's an L.O.B. thing. Just so people know, L.O.B. is a very attractive 30-year-old girl who doesn't look 30. Thank you. How old do you think L.O.B. looks? 25. Thank you. 24, 25. Blonde hair, blue eyes, great complexion, very pretty girl. Fit. Fit. Keep going. Well... Nice booty. My point is, when you look at L.O.B., you don't think to yourself, oh, she's got a Bazooka Joe collection. That girl collects Bazooka Joes. Guaranteed. Well, there are...
stored, in fact, in a tin Bazooka Joe container. How did you get that? Is it square? Is it round? I had to order it. It's round. It looks like a tin... I don't know. What else would come in that sort of container? Crack, apparently. Yes. I have so many questions for you. I have so many questions. I don't know how many answers I'll have. If anybody else has any questions, 570-1949. I'm trying to think, well, what can I make this into? What kind of topic can it be? Like, do you have a good-looking girlfriend that does something really funny? Collects weird, soft, childlike things. Oh, sure. Sure. When we come back, I want to dissect your brain on the air. Just cut it right open. I know. Just talk to you about what is up with you. I have an update on Kings of Leon. Oh, my gosh. My gosh, my gosh, my gosh, my gosh. 570-1949. Or if you are a cute girl and you do something really odd. Send us a picture of it. Yeah, do it.
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Print. 920XL compared to single standard HP cartridges based on average retail pricing. Actual prices may vary. Hear the authentic surf report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewed Coors Light. This report brought to you by Brandman University, part of the Chapman University system, a non-profit school focused on working adults. Visit brandman.edu to learn more. Brandman University, do better. The eight eastbound, some delays this morning from Mission Bay Drive to Qualcomm Way as the motorcade assembles for Officer Jeremy Henwood's funeral. Also, Rosecrans Street in both directions between Nimitz Boulevard and Lighton Street, you're going to find delays. That funeral is at Rock Church, starts at 10 a.m. Traffic on Rosecrans is going to be limited in both directions. between 8 a.m. and 12.30 this afternoon. Also, we have some delays in other areas this morning. You're going to find some backup here on the 5 southbound from the 54 to the 905, as well as the 78 eastbound, some congestion from Center City Parkway to Bear Valley Parkway. This report brought to you by IHOP. Kids eat free at IHOP every day in August from 4 to 10. They also get a free activity booklet loaded with back-to-school savings. There's no better way to make it an IHOP day at participating restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen.
FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good Friday morning to you. This is Bird for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. On this Friday morning, brought to you, of course, by Frost Brewed Coors Light. When the mountains turn blue, it's as cold as the Rockies. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surf-wise today, slight increase in a straighter direction out of that south-southwest. Even though it's a bit larger, it's less consistent, which is kind of a bummer. So you're going to have to wait a while to get some larger setways when they do come through at those areas most open to the southerly swell. Looking at knee-to-waist highways on average with that rear plus. Top open spots, though, can see occasional shoulder highways, possibly even a plus on that. But we're talking 10, 15, maybe 20-minute waits in between for those larger setways. And right now we're looking at overcast skies, some high clouds, kind of a tropical feel to it right now. Looks like it'll burn off to a sunnier, nicer day overall. Water temp cooperating slowly but surely, moving up into that 64, 65 degree range, possibly warmer at those other areas. Not a whole lot of tide fluctuation today. Beach break semi-welled up. They can choose corners on the better setways and at the structured areas. And look for the south-facing reef areas to have some pretty good shape too.
The big situation today, though, is that inconsistency in the long waves between waves. So bring your patience and learn how to share. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for your surfboard restoration and repair needs, the man in town C, Joe Roper, right down there on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Hey, just want to remind you that The Mikey Show now has a live studio audience every single day. Now, if you'd like to be a part of that live studio audience, it's very easy. Just go to MikeyShow.com.
and you can just request coming in. It's real easy. Whereas before, it would kind of be tough to be guaranteed to be able to come and hang out in the studio here with The Mikey Show. Now you can. There's no doubt. And the reason is because we're doing this every single day. And so it obviously makes room for a lot more people. Now on Fridays, what we're going to do is open the studio up from 8 to 10. Every other day, what we do is 9 to 10. Monday through Thursday, 9 to 10, you can come and hang out. And then on Fridays, we do 8 to 10. But it's really a cool thing, and hopefully you take part in it, take advantage of it, you get to come and hang out with us. It'd be nice. Word of the Days Mountain, haven't said it yet. Caleb Falwell, lead singer of Kings of Leon. The rumor was that the band had dumped him. Now, the band is made up of family.
His two brothers or one brother? There's three brothers in the band, plus a cousin. Oh, wow. So it's all family. Caleb, Nathan, and Jared are brothers, and Matthew's their cousin. And that is not true. They are not dumping him. Of course not. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, shut up. He is taking time to rest his voice. Yeah. Shut it. It's magical. Shut it. But there's been speculation that he's dealing with a drinking problem. Now, I don't know that it's really speculation. Woods actually saw it for himself. Yeah, it is not speculation. He has a drinking problem. Yeah, the last concert that the Kings of Leon played, Woods was there in Dallas. It was about two weeks ago. Yes, sir. It was very upsetting. They played 10 songs and 11 songs, and then Caleb drunkenly told the audience, Hey, Dallas. And he said something about, I guess you want to say I got the most beautiful wife. I married the most beautiful woman in the whole world. And y'all are the best audience I've ever seen. And I'm going to go backstage. I'm going to vomit. I'm going to drink me a beer. And I'm going to come out here and play three more songs. And he hits the microphone, knocks down his guitar, which falls flat onto its...
You know, face. He makes that... He's a mess, man. But they're not Kings of Leon. They're not Kings of Leon without the singer. Yeah, of course. Why do you say Leon that way? Kings of Leon? Yeah. Because his dad's name is Leon. Leon. Kings of Leon. That's the first time I've ever heard you say that. Wait. You said Leon. Kings of Leon. I do not say... Kings of Leon. Kings of Leon. Yes, you do. I believe that's the first time I've ever heard you say Kings of Leon. Yes. Kings of... Kings of... Leon. Kings of Leon. Leon. Kings of Leon. Kings of Leon. Leon. I love it. All right. Now, we're asking people to call in because it was revealed before we went to break that the lovely Lauren O'Brien collects Bazooka Joe comics. Hey.
When's the last time you broke it out and just took a look? I've added to it in the last couple of months. That was my question. Yes. How often? I went to a swap meet and bought a little package of them, and that was probably two months ago. But I don't really just sit around. In fact, maybe that's a good thing I can do this weekend. I haven't read the comics. Oh, my gosh. They have little storylines in them. Is that what originally got you interested in them at the age of? Like eight. I was just a big collector. Just a big. But all the other things, you decided to not collect them anymore. Well, yeah, I collected trolls. It was all with the motivation that they were going to be worth something. Well, that's why we all start. The Beanie Babies. Yeah. And it was all under that motivation. But you kept up. As a 30-year-old woman, you've kept up with Bazooka Joe. Oh, yeah. not going anywhere and they're in pristine condition because they call it yes because they're wax coated so none of the ink is faded or anything yeah that just came out that sounded weird coming out ink has faded yeah okay it just sounded like a weird phrase when i said it out loud it's the right thing to say right ink has faded none of the ink just isolate the whole thing that is our that's lauren right there that's it
Wow. Very random. She just says it. She thinks it, then says it. M1 Shelly is in the lobby right now. What did you want to tell us, Shelly? Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Start again. I collect pentagrams. Oh, wait a minute. Those are the things that are like the worship of the devil? Perfect. Yeah. Wait a minute. What did you say, Mikey? You what? I collect pentagrams. Do you collect them like, you know, pictures of them? And do you collect... I collect necklaces. I've got a tattoo. Uh-huh. I've got little dolls that wear pentagrams. Woods just went into his coffin. Oh, Lee, you guys, it's not that way. What way is it? It's a nature-based religion. Yeah. What is? Wicca. Wicca. White witch. Satanism. There's something about hearing Jay go, white witch. No, not a white. Wiccan. Now that means that you are a white guy, but you talk like a black guy. No. No. Okay. Wiccan is, in fact, a witch. Yes. It's a witch. White. Right. Means good.
So you're from the East. You're not from the West. Right. No, I'm from the West. Well, what can you tell me about Wicca? What can I tell you? I can tell you it's nature-based, that we believe in worshiping the goddess. The goddess? Yes, the goddess. Who's the goddess? Stacey. There has to be a female and a male energy for life to exist. I saw this on True Blood. Yep. No. I did, I really did. Once again, a lot of times L.O.B. will think something and she'll just say it. It really is on True Blood, yeah. No, I don't not believe you. I believe it was. It was on True Blood. Probably. So what do you mean the goddess? What is that about? The moon is considered the female energy. And so when you say the goddess,
Some people say the moon. Some people say a female deity such as Hera or... Hera's in Atlantic City? No. Oh, hang on. I'm going to actually ask for a real question. Oh, you really want to know? Yeah. I was very much in a bit mood. I want to ask. Don't you want to know? No, I don't. You don't? How come? It scares me a little bit. It does? Well, she puts a spell on me. No, you can't do that. Okay, good. Yes, I want to know. Now he wants to know. That would be manipulation and harming another being, and you can't do that. Where are the rules? They're written in a book. Wiki.com. What is it called? Wikipedia. Wikipedia! What is it? That was brilliant, Jay. Thank you. Gosh darn, you got me. Holy Toledo. I'm kicking myself right now. Say it again. There are rules. The biggest one is be careful what you do for what you do shall come back to you three times bold. I believe it. Karma. Well, karma doesn't work. Karma is not real. Yeah, karma is not real. Yes, it is. What was the example you gave the other day, Woodsy? I got a few, man. I mean, there's, you know. Woodsy said one the other day. He's like, it's proof there's no karma.
I can't say it. I know exactly what it is, but I don't want to say it. I don't remember what it was. I don't want to come back right away. I don't want to slag somebody that has done some slagging of us this year. I don't want to do that on the air because I'm not a P, so I'm not going to. Oh, I remember now. There is one, though, that I have. I told you guys a story about the Little League coach I was coaching against that was stealing my player's signs. Yes. Which, they're 12 years old. He was stealing signs, relaying them to his own team. They won the championship. And I went home and I go, you know what? That is proof that karma does not exist. This guy's stealing from little kids and they win the championship. Yeah, punk. So, well, I was learning something from you there, Shelly. I didn't know. And now it says you're in the lobby? I'm in the lobby. So you're coming in the studio today? Yes, I am. Well, then I'll get to ask you questions. Yeah. I'll get to ask you in person. Yes. I'm always interested. Is it considered a religion? Yes, it is. Oh, there you go. Then I'll ask you questions about it. I think that's interesting. Cool. Well, cool. Thank you. Thank you. Let's see. M1 Max. Are you there, Max? Hey, how's it going? Good. Good. First thing I want to say is what I'm about to tell you, I don't collect anymore. I was about six, seven.
And I like to collect scabs. And fingernail clippings. And from the white witch, scabs. You mean to blow your mind, my friend? Yeah. Girl that I took to junior prom named Stacy Anderson. Yeah. Collected boogers. Oh, my God. In eighth grade. No, she had a jar at home. She didn't show you? Never saw it, but I knew it existed because I talked to all of her friends. Oh, my God. Stacy's booger jar. You never discussed? Maybe it was a vicious, awful rumor. Oh, no, no. She admitted it. You just said you didn't talk about it. No, I didn't delve in, but I knew that the booger jar existed because she was like, yeah, I have a booger jar. A booger jar? Oh, yeah, girl. That's disgusting.
I knew a girl that collected toenail clippings as well. Girls are filthy. Girls are filthy. Filthy. Well, question, Max. Yeah. What was it, you know, what was your thinking? Huh. Because you're obviously not valuable. Exactly. And I had two separate containers with, I thought, like baby powder. I would put the scabs in one, the nails in one, and I thought the baby powder would preserve it for future. Oh. That's kid logic. Kid logic. Yeah, my mom would clip her nails. I'd save them. And I'm like, I was sitting watching cartoons. I'd put them on my nails. I can't imagine what I would look like with lady fingers. Yeah, Jane Gumm used to do that with people's skin. Yeah, what I would do is I would put their face over my face and I would imagine what I would look like as Frederica Bimmel.
And then sometimes I would tuck it. And then I would open up the robe and work in the full length mirror. Wow. Are you married, Max? Are you married? No, no. I have a boyfriend. You got a boyfriend? Yeah. I say it. Yeah, I was going to say. So he knows. It's funny. It's funny. My mom tells people. Are you blonde or brunette? Blonde. Oh, wow. Yeah. Are you chesty? I like to get a visual image of what we're talking about. How old are you? I'll be 42. There you go. Yeah. We're right around the same age. And both chesty. Same bra size. L.O.B. She helped. Wow, man. Ouch. Gosh, L.O.B. That one kind of hurt. It's killing me. It's killing me. Well, thank you very much. You're very welcome. Thank you. That's M1 Max. Jay had you on the ground. L.O.B. just walked by you and kicked you in the head. Oh, she stuck her stiletto on my eye. It was a mercy kick. Was. Put you out of your misery. I'll do it.
Uh, let's see. Gosh, man, I thought collecting my teeth was bad. You would save it when you lose them? When I was a kid, and then they started to, like, crack and, yeah. Gross. Gross. They're disgusting. Gross. Hey, the tooth fairy left them behind. Your parents wouldn't say, get rid of that, Lauren. My parents didn't know about it, and when they did, my mom said, what the H is the matter with you? Yeah. Weird question for you. Did you smell them? No. What? What the hell? What? They stink. What I used to do after I lost them is I'd suck on them for a while. Oh, you are horrible. You freaking... I know. What the... You freaking... You'd suck on them for a while. Because I'd wiggle it out. I'd stunk. I'd wiggle it out with my tongue, you know? Yeah, you did. And then I'd just sit there and be like... It was like porcelain. And I would click them against each other. You guys didn't... Between the two of you today. Yeah. Me? Did you smell them? No, I can picture her. I can picture her putting them in her drawer and going. No. Well, I can't. I didn't until you said it. They cracked. I stunk. They cracked. I dated a girl with a booger jar. Let me ask you a question. Cranky shirt. Oh, no. Did you ever take your teeth and did you try to put them in your butt? I'm just asking. I was just wondering if you did. What?
Did you ever take the teeth you lost, stick them in between your toes and pretend they're pieces of corn? What? That's what I imagined. You'd take your tooth. That would be weird. Oh, that would be weird. But not, did you smell them? That's not weird. No! That is weird. In fact, it's in the Encyclopedia of Normal. Question. Yeah. Do you floss your teeth? Yes. Do you smell the floss? No. No. Liar. Liar and liar. I'm not a liar. You're all lying. I am not lying. You're all lying. Every one of you is lying. Let me ask you a question. Yes. Do you put a ballpoint pen under your armpit and smell it? Liar. Liar. Mike. Liar. Mike, Mike, Mike. Yes, you do, Wood. Mike. We know you do. Yes, you do. Do I apply deodorant with a ballpoint pen? No. Okay, because that would be idiotic. I do floss my teeth. Do you smell your razor? No. I don't brush my... Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You liar. You smell your razor. Razor smeller. Why would I do that? You use it to shave. You smell it. You smell it. I don't shave my teeth with it. My skin doesn't stink, but your mouth can. Do you take...
Your Q-tips and smell them. No. Do you ever smell your fingers? Do not ask, Mike. Mike, you were so quick to say you do. Do not ask. We're not live, are we? Unfortunately, we are. We are. We're on the radio. Unfortunately, yes. Oh, my stomach hurts today. As it turns out, we are, and yes, we do, and yes. Oh. That guy over there. Oh. He's got issues through the roof, that J. It's true. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my. Check this out. Listen to this. Listen to this. Years ago, I told you guys I saw something in the sky that I could not explain. And when I did, Woods thought, you're a maniac. And then he started to mock me and say, what was it? Was it little?
Was it little creatures that were crawling out of, you know, outer space, Mike? What was it? I said, whatever it was, was up very high in the sky, flying at a very high rate of speed, and it stopped on a dime. And Wood says, ooh, was it green men? Little green men, Mike? Listen to this, Woodsy. Falcon Hypersonic Vehicle 2. United States. military test plane. They say this thing can fly from London to Sydney in less than an hour. While, by the way, with standing temperatures of almost 3,632 degrees because it's going so fast. It's warm. They launch it off the back of a rocket. In fact, they did yesterday at Vandenberg here in California. Now, what they wanted to do
is get this thing up to Mach 20. 20 times the speed of sound. 13,000 miles per hour. Holy cow. It's fast. Well, they... Now, that would be four miles per second. 1,001, four miles. Oh, my God. Four miles in one second. That's crazy to think about. So, they launched this thing yesterday, and... It left the rocket. Then it nosedived back towards Earth like it's supposed to. It leveled out, started gliding. It was up to Mach 20 over the Pacific. And then the trouble started. And here's what the program manager for this program said. We know how to boost the aircraft to near space. We know how to insert the aircraft into atmospheric hypersonic flight. We do not yet know.
How to achieve the desired control during the flight. It's vexing, he said. But I'm confident there's a solution. We have to find it. That's a smart person talking. In fact, that program manager knows different things than our program manager. It's true. They know different things. What are you saying? I'm saying you know about Muse. This guy knows about aerodynamic flight in hyperspace. And what's your point? That you know about Muse. And does he know Scott Shannon? No, he does not to your defense. I do. He does not know legendary program director Scott Shannon. He doesn't know him. You do. Does he know how to program a radio station? No, but you don't know how to get... Don't I? Well, let me ask you. He didn't finish the question, Garrett. Yeah, I didn't ask... Because I can do anything. I didn't ask the question yet, though. Have you... Muse. Uh-oh.
The Black Keys. Okay. Radiohead. Okay, then that, I guess, would be a take. Temperature. Okay, fine, then. Fine. The Eurythmics. It's not named that tune. Foo Fighters. All right, Garrett. Let's Zeppelin. I have got some stuff to tell you about a CEO of a company. that probably shouldn't be creating T-shirts that say teenagers do it better based on his past. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up.
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your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate. For any True Start or True 2 battery installed, make an appointment with their experts. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's a happy movie. On FM 94.9. We like to call this Mikey's Show Live. Let's hear it. We are locked and loaded. If you want to play a little TomTom tunes, give us a call right now. 570-1949. We'll play TomTom tunes with you. The TomTom girl will read the lyrics to songs. And all you have to do is give us title or artist to win. What prize do we have today, Jay? A four-pack of tickets to see Fitz and the Tantrum September 2nd at the Del Mar Racetrack. So this is good news. Here in San Diego, at least for 2010, the high school dropout rate was down. It was at 15.9%, but that beats the national average, which is 18.2%. So we're doing better when it comes to that. And there's a judge that apparently in New York has decided that Christopher Henry...
despite the fact that he is Jewish, cannot have matzah and grape juice served to him daily. Even though he didn't want the matzah on Passover, he does in fact want matzah served to him while he's in prison, and he's suing for $10 billion in damage. He calls it a violation of his First Amendment rights to religious freedom. So, literally, feast. Woodsy, what do you got coming up in sports? The NFL preseason kicked off last night. You had five games. The Eagles over the Ravens. The freaking Patriots threw up 47 points in their first game. I guess they're ready to play. They beat the Jaguars 47-12. The Cowboys beat the Broncos 24-23. Of course, the Chargers did lose to the Seahawks. Our offense looked great. Defense looked very good, too. Our first units. And the Arizona Cardinals have started the Kevin Cobb era by beating the Oakland Raiders 24-18. So, feast on that. So, that's their guy, huh? Kevin Cobb is... I'm not sold on the guy, dude. At all. I wasn't last year. But that's who the Cardinals are saying is going to be their dude? That's their ace. Kevin Cobb. Hi, my name is Kevin Cobb. It's spelled cold, but I'd like you to call me Cobb. Yes. For no apparent reason. Right.
My name is Saeed. Let's pronounce Shade. There she is. There's a Tom Tom girl. On the line with us is M1 Rick from Escondido. How are you, Rick? I'm good. How are you guys doing? Doing good. Tom Tom girl, are you ready to go? I'm ready, Mikey. All right. You're going to try to win a prize for Rick. All you got to do is read us the lyrics to this song. And then, Rick, after 20 seconds, you got to give us title or artist, and you're a winner. It's that easy, all right? Sounds good. All right. Starting now. All I need is title or artist on that for you to win, Rick. I have no idea. R.E.M.?
Actually, the title of the song was in there. That was We Didn't Start the Fire. And it was Billy Joel, actually. Thank you very much. That's okay. Yeah. For the most part, I felt like Billy Joel lost it in the 80s. I, you know, I loved this stuff in the 70s. Loved it. How could you not? But that 80s stuff, I just, I was not a fan when he got into the whole doo-wop thing. Oh, that's a good song. She's a living girl. Hated it. Oh, get. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. You there? Yep. All right, you're going to listen to 20 seconds of the TomTom Girl, title artist to win. Here we go. Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go away and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire. I am on fire. Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? Can he do to you the things that I do? I can take you higher. I am on fire. Sometimes it is like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull. Okay, so.
That one's pretty easy, Lisa. Title or artist for the name? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. She said it three times during the course of it. That's I'm on fire by the boss, Bruce Springsteen. The creep should be. I actually would have accepted three titles. Bruce Springsteen, the boss, or I'm on fire. Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Oh, wow. He's on fire. M1 Crooked Sheriff from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah, what's up, you creepy clown? That's right. It's the Crooked Sheriff on the phone. You got 20 seconds to listen to this and give me title or artist. Here we go.
Lay where you are laying. Do not make a sound. I know they are watching all the commotion. The kitty-like play has people talking. You, your sex is on fire. The dark of the alley, the breaking of day, the head while I am driving. Soft lips are open. Knuckles are pale. All I need is a title or artist. Is that Queens of Leon? Yes, it is. No, it's not. I believe that is sex on fire. What do you want again, Jay? A lot of get with this song. Oh, boy. A pack of tickets to see Fitz and the Tantrums. There you go. I'm independent. I love independent stuff. This is the creative genius. Only sold about a billion records. Don't be jealous. You know what? His sex on fire. It is on fire. Or whatever. It's on fire. I'm independent, Mike. Maybe somebody should put that fire out.
That's why I didn't like it, because I didn't like singing My Sex on Fire. Right. It reminded me of the time I slept with a fat girl and got syphilis. I damn near went blind and deaf. Let's see. So I was telling you about this CEO dude. So listen to this. The company American Apparel, they have a new t-shirt that says teenagers do it better, which some people might find questionable no matter what. Whatever. But it just so happens that their CEO, Dov Charney, which I'm already suspicious because his name is Dov Charney. But dude had a lawsuit filed against him in March accusing him of holding a teenager as his own personal sex slave. The first harassment lawsuit against him was filed in 2005. But see, all of these.
All of these slogans and all the T-shirts and all that stuff comes from this catalog that is published for the company that features, quote, very suggestive photos of young boys aged 16 to 21. So I guess you can see how the whole thing, when it's all put together, is a little bit on the creepy side. I agree with you, except for the little bit part. King Creep. My friend is a photographer and worked with that guy years ago. Really? Yeah, he told me that the goal of the photo shoot is to make people feel dirty when they see the pictures. Oh, my gosh. That's why you see the American Apparel ads. They always look strung out and sweaty. And yeah, he's like, that's the goal of the photo shoot. My wife is the catalog keeper. I don't know what it is that she ordered, but she ordered something one time and now. 80 catalogs come? Every day I get one. Every day. Yep. They're pamphlet, thick. Yep. They're not very, you know, there's not very many pages, but it seems like Brookstone and da-da-da and da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, there's like eight of them a day. Yep. Like, how do they make that many catalogs? I don't know. Can I pull the curtain back on something that happened the day before yesterday? Pull the curtain back. You guys.
Depends on who you're talking about. Is it the only person I'm brave enough to talk about it? I feel brave. I feel way more brave on the air. The potato. How did you know that? Because I have the mind of a champion, and I'm looking into your eyes, and I know exactly what you're talking about. Because I've been waiting. That was so weird. I know. When he said a couple of days ago, and I looked into his eyes. Don't shake your head. It's the potato. You guys are super clowns. Are they? We are. We went to lunch. Yeah, look at Jay's like, go ahead. Fire away. That's so me. Go for it. See if anybody has one issue with what I did. There will be no issues. I did not one thing wrong. Not one. We went to lunch, and I had a baked potato shirt shimmying. No, no. Standing up. Defending myself. He's standing up. See why I was afraid to do it? I knew he would. I had a baked potato.
At the end of our meal, I don't always eat the skin on the potato. I clean out the inside. I hollow it out, right? And at the end of the meal, the server came over and said, would you guys like anything wrapped up? And everybody said, no, we're good. And Jay said, hey, man, can I wrap that? And I said instantly, I go, yeah, dude, that's cool. I was already wrapping some stuff. I already had a half or something to go. And I go. Part of my sandwich. Yeah. And I go, I go, I didn't even think about it. Like when somebody asks you and you're done, you go, yeah, sure. Have at it. And then it sort of like was a weird grenade and it was hit me a couple of seconds later. Like he is going to take home a hollowed out. Potato. I was in mid-text with my wife, Jamie, and it was a peripheral thing. And I remember when I saw it and heard it, I went, bing, save it, immediately. And I, because typically I would be like, oh, Jay, good God, dude. And it was a peripheral, and I go, oh, yeah, I'm going to store this nugget away. Anybody who knows Mikey knows that he orders three entrees, A.
I don't eat the three entrees. So what he does is he likes a bite of each. Well, I didn't when we went. No. I didn't get three entrees. You got a ton of food. Yeah, I got all of us appetizers, which you take everybody's appetizers home. You were asking me to eat food off my plate. You're like, hey, can I have a bite of that? I'm like, okay. This potato still had plenty of potato left inside of it. It had a ton of potato. Not the point. It was excellent mixed with scrambled eggs. Oh, gross. Gross. You just chop it up. Potato and egg with cheese. Excuse me. Not only was, okay, let's go through the fallacies one by one. A, he's right. I do eat off people's plate. However, I didn't take anything off his plate the other day. Didn't you? I do that, but I didn't then. The other one, he says, and I quote, there was still a lot of potato left in that potato. It looked like an archaeologist. Not true. Had gone through the potato with a pick and a brush and hollowed it out. Because I even remember there was a tablespoon on the table and I was getting it. Very meticulously. I loved the potato. And all I left was a brown shell. Skin. Skin. Skin.
Your idea of skin and my idea of skin is a lot different. Oh, that is true. That is 100%. Well, it must be. Well, let me just tell you, it was the most delicious skin ever. Your wife, Kim, is probably so used to it by now that she doesn't even ask questions. No, I don't waste food. I didn't think that throwing garbage away was wasting it. If you're walking down the street and there's a garbage can with the lid off, and let's say there's a pizza box in there, and if you open said pizza box and there's a full slice in there, would you eat it? No. Why? If people left pizza here and just walk away from it, I absolutely take pizza home. A slice of it or the crust? I would take if it's a... Even a half a slice. I just cut off for even chewing on it. What about just the crust? Because that's what just the peel is. No, it wasn't just the crust. He's a hobo. And the best part of the potato is the skin. He's a hobo. Even hobos have standards, though, what? I get, unless it's, there's one exception to one person in this world, Matt Commerce, my boyfriend, is the only person who I can look at scraps and even think about eating his food. It wasn't scraps. If I see somebody's scraps, it grosses me out. Yeah, dude, there's no gross factor to you that your boy Mike and my, you know, Mexican mouth was just all over that.
Dude, your mouth does nothing for me, but it doesn't scare me either. Doesn't scare you? No. What if I had a cold? You weren't sucking on it. What if I had a cold? You weren't sucking on it. You were just, like, scraping on it. Yeah, but... Look at Wood's face. Sucking on it? Woods is... I just wanted to say sucking on it, man. Several times I wanted to say it. You've got nothing to talk... He doesn't do that! He's eating food off the... bathroom floor. As a bit. As a bit. As a joke. He did it as a dare. But he did it. I didn't do it to, I don't do it to feed my family. If I walked in there and there was a donut there, I wouldn't eat it. He doesn't go, hey, look, that's a donut omelet. Both of you guys are the biggest food wasters. Every day you come in, you throw food away. That is true. Done. But. Still, Jay. This is a big waste of food. I took a bunch of stuff off the table that you guys were walking away from. Hey, dude, if you were taking it to St. Francis of Assisi, I'd be like, hey, nice guy, right? Taking it to St. Jay of Assisi. Yeah, he is. A hundred. I can't look my vitamin D for the day. Yeah, I'm going to eat that thing up real good. It was delicious. It was a good breakfast. I call it finger food on the way home. I'm just reaching in the bag. Eating crust. Feeling around. Peas in there. You guys. That guy will. That's gross. That guy will go after whatever.
Whenever. He doesn't have any problems with it. And I eat a lot of stuff, too. Wow. 570-1949 is our number. Let's see. Got some audio here of Lopez tonight. As you know, last night was George Lopez last night doing his talk show. Haven't heard this clip yet. Going to play this clip for the first time. I wonder if he'll mention being Latino. That's his bit. When they asked me to do a talk show, I wanted it to be inclusive and I wanted it to be fun. So right now, I'd like to ask the camera people to take one shot of this audience and show you how inclusive this show has always been. How are they different? I guess they have a live audience, which isn't different. Are they on his lap? Must be. Are they riding cue cards? Yeah, yeah. How else can you be? You hear the one person just going, woo. Woo.
Here's an owl loosen up. I was waiting for Jay to make that joke, actually. I never realized I could love people as much as I do now. And a lot of the people that I love are here. Eva and Arsenio and D. Fish and Ron and Slash, who is my brother. I love him so much. He's dropping names. Oh, D. Fish was there. Oh, yeah. Eva. Mike, are you upset today? Are you okay? I'm going to make it. Did you get any sleep last night? Yes, I did. It's just because he's Mexican doesn't mean I watch. He's off the air now. Yeah, what are you going to do with your time? I understand. I love you, man. I'm so sad. I'm sorry for you. I feel your pain a little bit. I don't have pain. Don't you? Not over him. I see it on your face. All right. It's all over your face. And Sheila E. And Russell Peters, who is always so nice to me. Russell, I love you, man. And Nicolas Cage. I met him, too. Meg Ryan. Chino from the Deftones. Yeah. That guy at the hot dog stand. Every famous person I've ever met, I'll mention. Pat Morita. Hey, Pat Morita. I met him one time. I want to say hi. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. God rest his soul. Pat Morita. From one of my favorite rock bands. Orva Redenbacher. Is that even a real person? Yeah. I'm going to roll with the changes, Kevin. We're going to roll with the changes. Chaka Khan.
The girl that was in The Shining and also played Olive Oil and Popeye. Shelly something. Shelly Duvall. I knew it, but I want to say, you know, that girl, you know. She was a girl that looked like she had to put a pork chop around her neck just to get the dogs to play with her, you know. And most importantly, I want to thank Sandra Bullock for 11 years ago. All right already, dude. We get it. You know famous people. Let's hear it from our live studio audience. I've already seen this thing. It's some things that you could be doing. Mike, I'm ready at all times. If you say anything that can be made into a double entendre, I got a sound effect for it. Mike, talk about how you made a cake and it was moist. I dare you. I dare you, boy. Anyway, there's some things that you could be doing while you're cooking that could be very dangerous. And I saw the list.
Guaranteed, Woods and me, I guarantee we do these things. And we're not supposed to because we can get sick. I'll tell you what it is when we come back. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM. Oh, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Sunday night, Steel Pulse will play House of Blues and Tuesday night, Death Cavalry Cuties at the Remack Arena. On the 19th, 311 and Sublime with Rome play Cricket Wireless. Cut Chemist is at House of Blues on the 20th. And on the 24th, Company of Thieves hit the belly up. And still to come this summer, Fitz and the Tantrums at the Del Mar Racetrack. Two nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues, September 7th and 8th. Atari Teenage Riot. The Agri-Lights with Bucko 9. And About the Music Show with Givers. And About the Music Show with The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. The Mother Hips. Portugal the Man.
Blitz and Trapper with Daz. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. It's the end of the model year and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is back with better availability than Honda or Toyota. So you can save now. Get $1,500 cash back or 0% financing on Sentra. Get bottom line prices on our top of the line vehicles with $1,500 back or 0% on Sentra. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars, great offers equals more savings. And that's the bottom line. This event ends August 31st. Hurry in today. $1,500 consists of 1,000 Nissan cash, 500 NMAT cash. Financing for 36 months. $2,778 per month per thousand borrowed. See dealer for details. Call 1-888-858-8319 for offer and inventory details. And to 831-11. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. Didn't really work like I thought it was going to. LLB. Yes, big time. Hollywood.
LOB is going to meet with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman today. Yes, at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. You're going to get your free consultation. Finally, you're going to go and see if you're a good candidate for laser. I'm so pumped. I've been looking forward to this day all week. I'm going to tell you that it's life-changing. I talked to a couple folks in the studio. They've had it done, and it's life-changing. That's the best way to describe it. So give them a call today, 858-452-3937. Or go online, www.clearvieweyes.com. Listen, call them today. Make a free consultation. If you do, shoot me an email, woods at mikeyshow.com. I'll hook you up. You come in, hang out with us, and get to hang out and eat bagels and listen to us try to be funny and dynamic. You know, LLB? Always. All right. So do not waste any more time. I know you're thinking, well, I don't know if I can do it. Just go do it. Do the consultation, man. It's worth your time. It'll change your life. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Dr. Sandy T. Feldman will make it right for you. Feast. This is the sound of Jim at a ball game realizing he forgot to stop by the bank. Oh, I promised my wife I'd deposit these checks. This is the sound of Charles, a Chase banking customer at the same game remembering the same thing. Oh, I totally forgot to deposit these checks.
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I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Give me some of your favorite J rejoins. Oh, I'd rather be surfing or skating any day. L-O-B. I can teach you how to do it in five minutes. Whenever we need new J rejoins, they should let us do them. Yeah. Yes. We'll just do it. I can climb a mountain with both hands tied behind my back and my legs. Yes, I make love to my wife for days at a time. So what?
There's only an hour of the day I'm not making love. That's right. I got to take a rest. Let's hear it from our live studio audience. Mikey Show Live. So before we went to break, I said that there are a couple of things that we could be doing that could actually be jacking us up in terms of what we have going on in our kitchens. Okay. I do almost... All these things. Not checking your food when there's a recall. I never, ever have one time ever have I gone through and gone, oh, I wonder if there's a recall on any of this stuff. No. And when I hear about a recall, I always go, ooh, I wonder if I have any of that. That's as far as it goes. I never like get home and go, oh, now I'm home. I got to check that out. Check the corn. Make sure. I remember the lot number.
I'm sure your wife does it for you. I wonder. I wonder if she does, if she even remembers. She's on top of that stuff. How about this one? Mistake number two. Your refrigerator isn't cold enough. Do you ever check the temp on the refrigerator? I keep it on the second highest. You do? Yes. I keep it high enough to the, if I put anything on the top shelf, it usually forms ice crystals on it. Oh, I keep it just below that. Me too. Me too. Do you have the digital readout, though, right up top, where you can see what the temperature is? Oh, fancy. Yeah, it's pretty schmancy pants. Mine's just a dial that goes up to five. Yeah, mine goes to seven, I think. Whoa, gosh. Whoa, Rick Donald Trump. The one that I have is, you know, we got it because it's got the water on the door. Yeah, it's the best. It's the best. Like this in my mind was always a dream of mine. I thought when I finally am able to get filtered ice cubes. Oh, yeah. I couldn't wait because ice cubes stink. They taste bad. My ice cubes are salty. Yes. Mine too, dude. Mine too, L.O.B. You just called it. Like that's it. Exactly. That's it. And so I couldn't wait until we got to this house because we were putting in one of those R.O.
The reverse osmosis filters. It makes your water taste delicious. Couldn't install it in the refrigerator. We talked about everything, including even moving the position of the refrigerator. Like making it be somewhere else. Just so we could have it. Can't. The wall separates our kitchen from our dining room. And there needs to be a wall that goes to the outside where your water is. So you can tap into it. Every time I looked at the fridge, I'd get mad if I were you. Oh, I do. Stupid reverse. I do. And it's, you called it, like, it makes your ice, it makes everything you're drinking taste salty. I hate it. The thing I don't understand is when people have automatic ice makers, they don't. Ice makers, he said. But they don't. Ice makers. But they don't hook them up, so they're still making ice cubes. Because they're ass cream. Ass cream, ass cubes. I like vanilla ice cream. I like chocolate ice cream. I like ass milk. Salty ice cream. Salty ice cream. Yeah. Who doesn't? Tart ass cream. Delicious. Here's another thing that you could be doing. Another thing that you could be doing that makes you sick that you don't know or you're not paying attention to. Using the same cutting board for everything. Woodsy? Yeah, I do that. You do? When I use a cutting board. What do you cut on? Just a rare counter. You cut on the counter? Yeah, sometimes. Oh, no. Rental.
Yeah. It's a rental place. What do I care? What do I care? Thank you. Oh, my. Yeah, I have been known to take a... What is the... Tortilla. Butcher. You know, Woods, when I'm searching for a word... Beans. I'm not always searching for a Mexican word. Habanero? No. Corn chips. Jalapeno? No. Enchilada. What sort of... Dish towel? Dish towel. Taco. Burrito. Burrito. Enchilada. Timichanga. No. Churro. Tapatio. I've been known to take a dish towel to a cutting board and talk myself into believing that was fine and that it's enough. Just a wipe down? Don't do it with chicken. I don't do it with chicken. Obviously. Obviously. But I'll do it with other stuff. Chicken might be the only thing that really wakes me out where I'm constantly washing my hands. You know, three or four times when I'm cooking chicken.
Does it wig you out when you take your index finger, push it through the plastic? Ew, don't use your finger. And then you pull it off. And then you look down into the white or yellow styrofoam and you see that protective white covering. Maxi pad. The maxi pad. The chicken maxi pad. It's soaked up all the juices in the blood. Well, not all of them. Not all of them. Oh, shut it. There's still some running around. There's still plenty of pink juice on the bottom. So then you reach in and it's cold. Why are you touching it? You have to. You have to. Why are you touching it? It doesn't hover. I use all utensils to do it. I don't ever touch it. Chopsticks. Oh my goodness. I'd use a knife and then I'd tong it out.
You have to rinse. You're supposed to rinse your chicken before you cook it. Well, I put it in a colander and rinse it in there. You put chicken in a colander? To rinse it. Oh, my gosh. I don't want to touch it with my hands. Well, none of us want to. We're not like in fetish clubs for chicken touching. Nobody wants to touch chicken. I am. You saw the pictures of me touching the chicken. All the chicken feet. I didn't see that. Jay, I am so glad you brought that up because I wanted to talk about it. Jay feeds his dogs. raw chicken because it's good for them. Yeah, it's great for them. It's really, really good for them. It's expensive, but not when he, well, I steal it, man. Right. Go to the butcher and it's the leftover parts of the chicken they don't use. The backs, the necks. You still pay for it, right? Yeah, it's 98 cents a pound or something ridiculously cheap. Well, he's started doing a new thing where he gets the claws. Well, I didn't start doing it. What do they call it? The hoof. It's the feet. Yeah, basically they start putting the chicken feet in.
It's disgusting. Chances Jasper's had chicken feet for dinner. Chances. Kim couldn't even, when she opened the packaging, she, I mean, she can't even handle chicken. She didn't even like to eat chicken. So here it is, these chicken feet. And she's like, nope, I'm out. So, but she had to help me put it in little bags. So I'm sticking the feet. I'm making them dance around. What kind of bag? Oh, my God. When we break them in, they come in like these big frozen bags of... Chicken stuff. So we have to defrost him and then put him into little serving size bags for a bear. Because he gets one in the morning, one at night. Happy birthday, bear. No kidding. It's the most well-fed dog. It's good for him. I bet it's fun to watch. Oh, he loves it. He just loves it. Steak's not really good. They say it's not really good for him. I bet it's fun to watch him chew those things up. Oh, man. Especially the big meaty parts. He just like rips it. Makes his neck strong, keeps his teeth clean, makes his coat all shiny and doesn't really shed. And his droppings are, he turns to powder almost immediately. Yeah, Jay said that they don't have a smelly backyard. Where before it was awful. I can't even describe it to you. It was the worst thing I'd ever discovered. It makes sense because if humans ate all chicken, their poop wouldn't turn to powder. Well, we don't know. You don't know that. Why don't you try it? Nobody's ever done that.
Maybe I'll try. Maybe it'll be my 30-day challenge. Chicken cleanse. M1, Casey from San Diego, are you there? Yes, I am. Have you taken a lot of heat for that name? Casey, yes. Yes. I bet that having that name right now is not the most popular time to have the name Casey. Not really. What was word of the day? Mountain. Correct. It was mountain. Good job. Giving you a $100 gift certificate to the Ali Action Sports Warehouse Sale. And also sending you to lunch at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. Hang on, okay? Thank you. Let's see. Thank you. Do not defrost food on the counter. What? Two hours is the absolute max. Says because after that, the outer layer of whatever you're defrosting reaches 40 degrees. And bacteria. Starts multiplying really fast. Gee, I only do that every day. Every day. See, I've heard you mention this, and I've wanted to ask you. You do a lot of defrost. Oh, yeah. That's your big player at your house. Huge player. So what... There are... My mom and dad, they were big defrosters growing up. My parents, too. Yeah? Like, they were big on...
Because they would go to the commissary. You know, it was the military place where you buy groceries. A lot of people do the Costco thing. Yep. And then you freeze it. Yeah. And you take out what you want for dinner in like the morning. Or, yeah, yeah, the morning. And then you let it stay and then you get home and you cook it. Yep. Every day. I don't have the patience. I don't have the, I need, you know, I need. But wait. You don't have the patience to lay something on the counter, walk away, and then come back eight hours later? You're right. It's the foresight. No, you're right. It's foresight that you don't have. Yeah. I do it the night before and put it in the fridge. If I remember to do that, then I will. Typically, when I'm in the morning, it's really early and I'm like, I know I want chicken or steak later. I'll lay it out because I know by the time I get home, it's good to go. Then I put it in the fridge. Yeah. It's a good idea. Once it's defrosted and if it's not time to cook, I put it in the fridge. Well, this says, yeah, this says two hours maximum. But you can't even defrost something in two hours. Microwave? No, I do not do the defrost microwave bit. It doesn't work. It's hideous. The middle is frozen solid and the outer layer is cooked. It's hideous. You ever defrost a steak? Oh yeah, it's the worst. It's brown. This is the worst. I'm going to blow your mind. Did your parents ever freeze bread?
Yes. All the time. I still do. So it was always, it always had the hard part. I would walk in and want a sandwich. My dad would go, we've got a loaf. It's in the freezer. I'm like, I'm not using the frozen bread. Just defrost it. Why don't you buy a fresh loaf? Hey, dad, I have an idea. Instead of eating the... defrosted frozen bread. Why don't you just take a piece of bread and dip it in water? Right. Since that's what's going to happen when it defrosts anyway. Absolutely. Or just stick it in the backyard for a couple of days so it gets nice and stale. Yep. Because that's the bit too. When it freezes and it defrosts, it's hard. Take that 50 cents in your pocket. Walk down to the store and get a fresh loaf of bread. Please. I just want fresh bread. No, it's not 50 cents. It's not so much to ask. If it's on sale, I buy two loaves. One in the fridge, one in the freezer. Never on the counter. And you're not supposed to put bread in the fridge, I heard, too. Why? That's where we put it. Who made that up? Oh, I promise. I promise. Jamie R. Woods, my wife. That's your source. She said, your wife. She goes, babe, you don't put bread in the fridge. Everybody knows that. And I go, oh, okay, okay. Oh, I do. Yeah. That's why they have bread boxes. That's why they have bread boxes. Woodsy. They don't put bread boxes in the fridge, do they? They don't make them in the fridge. Listen, I'm fine with your source being your wife.
All you got to do is tell me why. I mean, she knows about that stuff. But she works for Staples. That doesn't mean she knows about the breads. A dark, moist place is the worst place for bread to be. That was easy. But if she works at Staples, she's not an expert on bread. She's a woman. She knows about cooking. So am I. No, that's sexist. If I agree with that, that's sexist. Yeah, you're both jerks. It's a staple, though, still. If my wife said that to me, I'm going to be like... What do you know? What are you talking about? Where do you get it from? No, that's true. I was kidding about the woman comment. But the deal is that she knows about stuff like that. And when she says, hon, don't put the bread in the fridge. Why? Call in, hon, if you're listening. Please call in. Just call in. Or somebody Google. Anybody else ever heard that? Well, everyone does. Who said it? Dr. Oz. Dr. Oz. That guy's a bitch. Why? Did he say why? Did he say why? I put everything, ever since I had pantry moths, everything goes in the fridge. And I mean everything. Yeah, Rebecca, if we find ants, she will throw everything. And I mean everything. You too? Canned food, all of it. Seriously, I'm like, I go, babe, I don't think they got, nope.
They got in it. They penetrated it. It's not going to hurt it by putting it in the fridge. I'm like, it's a bottle. They're smart. They're very crafty. No, not a bottle. They can't get in the bottle. They don't. Slither in there. And when Leah from Tierra Santa, she knows why you're not supposed to put bread in the fridge. Leah, are you there? I was actually calling about the meat. Oh, the meat. The meat. What were you calling to say? So if you want to defrost your meat evenly, either keep it in the package it comes in or put it in Ziploc baggies, fill your sink with hot water, and just flip it every 15 minutes in the water. It'll come out even. Dr. Oz say it, though? Who's got every 15 minutes to go keep checking their meat? No kidding. Now you're cooking. Right, now you're cooking. And wasting water. I check mine every 15 minutes. Let's see what I'm doing it. And I'll just have her come and help me do it or just leave it in there and flip it. When you go back into the kitchen, it doesn't have to be every 15 minutes, but so long as you flip it at least once, it'll come out even on both sides. Hey, Mike, it's Woods. Hey, Woods. I need a favor from you. Yeah. I got a ton of stuff to do today. Will you, you have a key to my house. Will you stop by and flip my meat every 15 minutes? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm Woods. I'm buried today. Wait, wait, wait. I'm buried. I got so much going on. They got a business for that now. You can hire meat flippers. You can? Yeah, they'll come over to your house and just call them.
That's illegal. Here's the thing. I don't... I'm trying to save a little dough. Do you think you just... What you do is you just stop by every... I don't have time. Don't you? I don't. What do you got going? Well, I got to talk to Jay about talking about touching his meat every 15 minutes. All right. All right. He says he looks at his meat every 15 minutes. Well, it'd be nice. You gotta check it. You gotta check it and make sure that it's... Do you? It's still there. It's still weird looking. Yeah. It's still very thin. It's very thin meat. And it's still very praying mantis looking. Yes. Still looks like a praying mantis eating a bug. I'll show it to you right now if you want to... It looks like a Slim Jim that's been in the car for a while. More like a thick Jim. More like a thick Jim. Because those are things. Sometimes they call me... Thick Jim. Sometimes even a steak J for Jim, so. All right. Thick Jim, everybody. Thick Jim. This is not. A lot of people do not use a meat thermometer, and they should. Oh. It's a bit. They don't work. No, it is working perfectly. It works perfectly. That's the way I cook my chicken all the time. It does not work. I sit on Thanksgiving, and that's it. What do you cook the chicken to? Like one, well, it depends on probably about 170, because the heat will continue to raise all the way to 180. The juices cook.
After you take it off the grill. So you get about 170 and that's when you know to take it off. You want it to get almost up to I think 180 is where you want it. Turkeys are the same way. That's very hot. It's a lot of work. I do a lot of eyeball. Eyeball test. I use it like L.O.B. says at Thanksgiving. 160 and then I let it rest for 45 minutes. Who cooked your chicken for your party, Woods? You did. What's your point? Seems like it came out pretty good. I thought you said you didn't really barbecue that well. Who, me? Yeah, that's what you said. No, I said my barbecue's too small. Oh. I don't have a problem with anything being small. I never had that problem. And I took most of that chicken home. Yeah. For the record. Now, you're going to pay for it, but I took it home. Chicken and the meat. I cook chicken like I am. Perfect. This one I do a lot. This next one. This is the last one. I eat. This is going to gross so many people out. You might. That's my. My saving grace will be that Woods does this, too. I eat a lot of cold leftovers. Does anyone else? Define cold, Mike. Straight out of the fridge? I don't do that. Serial killers do that. I don't do that. You do it, Taylor? Can I tell you what I love to eat like that? Spaghetti. Anything. Barbecued ribs. Oh, yeah. I'll do that. That I will do. You take them out of the refrigerator and eat them?
I don't like hot food. Super hot food. No, I like warm to lukewarm food. Weird. Everything. I don't like hot food. I like cold fried chicken out of there. Oh, yes. Ew. Yes. Nothing better. Cold pizza is the only thing you're allowed to get away with. And see, I hate cold pizza. Hate it. I like warm pizza, yeah. It's hideous. I do, too. It tastes like plastic. Rubbery. Yeah, yeah. The cheese needs to be melted again. That's so strange, L-O-B. That's the only thing. It tastes like a different meal. It doesn't taste like the pizza I had last night. That is true. Cold spaghetti is good. M10side from Oside. Yeah, the lady that says throw your chicken in the water is wrong. If you want to send your guests to the hospital, go ahead and throw your chicken in the water. Really? Yeah, really, water will create bacteria-producing materials that will lead to salmonella.
You're going to get sick. That water is bad. As soon as it touches water, it's contaminated. If you put it in hot water, yeah, it's going to thaw quicker, but it can lead to salmonella. Makes sense to me. You're supposed to wash your chicken, though, whenever you first get it. It's not sitting there soaking it. That water is going right down the drain. You're not creating something. You're not creating an airborne bacteria that can lead to salmonella. If you're raising the chicken and you're going to stir fry it or whatever, that's a whole different story. When you cook the chicken, that's what kills the – I mean, you can soak in water, but when you cook it, if you just ate the raw chicken, yes. But when you cook it and you bring it up to temperature, that's why you get it up to 160. You're still creating airborne bacteria before you cook it. You've created a potential situation before you're cooking. Wow. Also, with the bread, the reason you can leave bread out is the same reason you go to a grocery store and see bread on just regular room-temperature shelves. Same with fruit. You don't walk in and see fruit refrigerated either. Well, the only reason that I don't, the reason that I don't leave bread out is because it gets mold. Yeah, if you keep it refrigerated, it preserves it longer. Yeah, it just doesn't get the mold as quick. Exactly. Now, bread isn't required to be refrigerated. It can stay fresh on a counter or in a bread box, just like fruit. But like any food, it will tend to stale, wilt.
mold, and so forth. Like, if you notice vegetables are in a refrigerated area and not totally covered, but they kind of mist them, you know, it's because they'll wilt faster. That's right. You could have carrots and potatoes out on a counter for probably a day, but then you'll notice the green has wilted, and you'll notice them sagging. Thank you. Mike, you've noticed that, right? It's like aging for you, Mike. It's just a little sagging. A little wilting, too, Mike. By a little, I mean a lot. I mean your face, Mike. Speaking of salmonella, there was a little bit of an outbreak. And it actually got quite a few people here in California. Texas was the most cases. But here in California as well, we'll tell you what was recalled. And we'll tell you the brand name in case you have it. And then you can do the bit that I do. You hear it on the radio, but then you don't do anything.
Make some noise if you're here in our live studio audience. FM 94.9. Selection is everything during Toyota's nationwide clearance event. Right now, Toyota dealerships have the summer's best inventory and the year's biggest deals on your favorite vehicles. Now save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. It's the perfect time to save big on the Toyota car, truck, or SUV you've been waiting for. But you better hurry. Toyota's nationwide clearance event ends soon. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer before time runs out. Camry sales claim based on motorintelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Offers may vary by region. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be
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Okay. Yeah, I got a 99-inch flat screen mounted on top of my shock aquarium. Know why? Because you go big or you go home. Yeah, well, I've got the perfect thing for you. My new jumbo breakfast platter. It's huge. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, eight mini pancakes, and your choice of bacon or sausage, all for just $2.99 plus tax. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get ten of those breakfast platters. Know why? Because Ronnie doesn't want to go home. True that. Because Ronnie lives with his parents. Yeah. Try Jack's new jumbo breakfast platter. It's scrambled eggs, hash browns, mini pancakes, plus bacon or sausage, all for just $2.99 plus tax. Price and participation may vary. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does! Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does.
Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. One inch binder, just 50 cents. Three pack paper made erasers, just 50 cents. Pourable glue, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back to school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 813. Binders and erasers limit three, glue limit five. Today, I'm putting a BMW 3 Series to the test on the highway. Let's see what she's got. More power than ever, check. Hold on, toll booth coming up. What's more fun than paying money just so you can keep on driving? Same's true with maintenance costs. You see, most luxury cars have to go through a toll booth of sorts with every service visit. And those tolls can cost you up to thousands. Like the poor guy in front of me. Oh, that can't be fun. But not BMW. In fact, BMW is the only one of the top three luxury makes that offers no-cost maintenance.
That means no service bills, just lots of... So, stop by BMW Center today for a test drive of the original Ultimate Driving Machine. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, enjoy incredible lease and finance offers of the BMW 320i sedan. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. At Vons, you can count on low prices. With amazing Vons Club specials and everyday low prices, you can get what you want, when you want it, at the price you need. That's their promise. That's ingredients for life. Hey, it's Mikey, and I just wanted to personally say thanks to a couple of my sponsors that I just really, really love. AIS Insurance and BMW Encinitas. I just really appreciate what you do and what you offer to our listeners. And I just wanted to say thank you to you guys. It really means a lot to all of us. This report brought to you by REMAX. Get straight answers to questions. Know your options. REMAX. Outstanding agents. Outstanding results. Find an agent at REMAX.com. On the 8 eastbound, traffic congested here. Average speed about 20 miles an hour from the 5 to Qualcomm Way. Traffic heading to Qualcomm Stadium for Officer Henwood's funeral. Then Rosecrans Street in both directions between Nimitz and Lighten. You're going to find delays there as the funeral procession proceeds over to Rock Church. That funeral is at 10 a.m. this morning.
And you're going to probably be backed up here until about 1230 this afternoon. Right now, Lamar Street, Bancroft Drive, still working in accident below the 94. And the 805 northbound Plaza Boulevard, we've got the right lane blocked with an overturned pickup truck. This report also brought to you by Brandman University, part of the Chapman University system. It's a nonprofit school focused on working adults. Visit brandman.edu to learn more. Brandman University, do better. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZ. Do I know you? Mike. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Welcome. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you? On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in the studio we know. So yeah, there was quite a few people that were getting sick. Salmonella, actually.
And the number of victims has actually gone up. It was from 35 million pounds of ground turkey. And apparently this type of salmonella has a name. It's called Salmonella Heidelberg. And apparently there was a death here in California. And it first started turning up in February. And the most recent report was August 9th. And the people that get sick. Range in age from less than a year old to as old as 89 years old. Median age of people getting sick, 21. But according to the CDC, this salmonella Heidelberg is resistant to ampicillin, streptomycin, tetracycline. These are various antibiotics. Strong antibiotics. I need my turkey. Turkey. It's turkey. I need my turkey. Someone died. Sometimes death from poisoning isn't funny. Now the meat company was called Cargill. So in case you have any Cargill turkey, you might want to toss it out. Go home and look this time. That's right.
Toss your turkey. That's right. There's nothing sexual. I know. Just saying, toss that turkey. Gobble, gobble. Get it? I have a gobbler. I'm reaching, Mike. I'm reaching. Listen. Double on tangerine. Some kind of inyendo in here. Inyendo. E-books are taking off, man. $27.9 billion. worth of e-books last year. It's the only way that I buy books now and I buy more books than I used to. Woods hates it. He loves a book in his hand. I've tried. I did the iBooks deal and I just can't get my head around this. What have you done it on? My phone. Oh, come on now. Can I do it on my laptop? I don't think so, but I think that you need a reader. Ah, good. More.
technology money down the drain for me that I won't use. I like a book. You love to read the book. I love you to try it once. Weird. Technology rape. When we flew across the country, I stood in the back of the plane to go to the bathroom and looked forward and it was probably 75% of the people on there. Oh yeah. I've got a book I'm reading right now. I swear, it is four inches thick. I've been reading it forever, but every time I fly on a plane, it takes up almost the entire backpack. Really? Mike, it's called the Karma Sutra. Yeah. All right. I'm going to read it start to finish. Actually, it's called the Bible, and I'm just reading it to destroy you. King James Version. That's right. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, as everybody has probably heard... We're probably going to be locked out in the NBA next year. So a lot of the stars in the NBA are looking for a place to play. Ron Artest has found one. He will be playing in London for the British Basketball League's Cheshire Jets. They can pay him $1,500 to $2,500 a month for playing basketball, which is way less than he makes here. However, they are going to help him promote his music and his movie career. Really?
Congratulations, Ron. There you go. Also yesterday, the Chargers lost their first preseason game 24-17, and the Padres won. That's an odd day. Padres win, Chargers lose. It's okay. It's preseason. Yeah, absolutely. By the time they get into the regular season, they'll be... Rolling. They'll probably be fine. By the way, Jared at createyourdesignonline.com is waiting to do something for you. In fact, we get to see Jerry today. He's stopping by in a little bit. Nice. And what he does is amazing. He'll make business cards for you. He'll do your websites. Anything graphic design that you need somebody graphic design, createyourdesignonline.com. Absolutely amazing stuff. So check it out. Jay's the old man who does science. Oh, wow. He's the old man with technology. The old man who does science. The old man with technology. He blinded me with science, but he failed in biology. He's taking his shoes off. I am looking into the next room, and what I see is plastic on the floor. It's like the scene in Goodfellas when Tommy walks in. Not really sure what's going on, but Jay is our old man that does science. Jay, what are you going to be doing today?
First, is this mic working? Yep, sounds good. Nice. Today what we're doing is we're going to walk on a liquid. You're going to walk on a liquid? Yeah. I was going to get you to come in here today if you could. You want to come in here so you can really see it? Because this is something you've got to see up close and personal. I need somebody to really describe it. You guys come over here on this mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me come in there. The mic is on in here. Get it, Mike? Walking on water. Does that do anything for you, Mike? I told you it was a myth, Mike. Just a bit. I told you. Is that milk? Nope, it's not milk. It's gravy. Nope. Makes you hungry, doesn't it? What is it? It's just simply water and cornstarch. But see, look at it. When I grab it, it kind of breaks open. See how it comes? And I can pick it up. I mean, I pick it up. It almost looks like a solid. See? It's just kind of weird, right? It looks like batter, though. Can I put my hands down the side? Pancakes. It looks liquid, though, dude. It looks like... Whoa! Now he's taking his hands out. Ew. And it's very thick and viscous. Whoa! He's punching it, and his hands are not going through it. What the heck? Magic. But then, when he takes his hands out, they're dripping. Weird. He's grabbing.
Okay, wait. Let me describe this. Remember in T2, whenever the T2 would reanimate, all of the titanium would form this metal? That's what it looks like. I'm looking at it right now. It looks like gravy, but they are punching it with their fists, and their fist is not getting wet, and it is not going into... into the liquid. So now, if I'm fast enough, I can actually walk on it. How? Like this. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Whoa! Jay just stomped on liquid. He just stomped on liquid. And he didn't go through it. He stood on top of it. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Come here. Because I got a bad ankle. Hang on. Ready? Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh God. Jay, you fucking...
Wow. Oh, he just got hit in the nuts. He just got back tagged. Wow, Jay. Wow. Let's hear it for the old man that does science. One of the coolest tricks you've ever done. That is rad. It's like... Listen, let me put the mic down there. If he just... But if he lets his hand stay there, it'll sink in like quicksand. And then it's hard to pull it out. You're going to... Okay, L.O.B.'s going to try it. I ain't trying that. No, dude, I don't need to. It's all right. And then how do I jump out? Here, jump out. Ready? There you go. Oh, yeah. She's stomping it up real good. Holy cow. It reminds me of that YouTube bit of the girl that's jumping on the grapes. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. All right, got to go back into the studio. He's the old man who does science.
That was great. He's the old man with technology. Let's play this. That was great. That was great. He's the old man who does science. He's the old man with technology. The old man who does science. The old man with technology. He blinded me with science, but he failed in biology. So something is beeping. in the studio. What is it? Is it the air conditioner? It got it turned off, though. Yeah, air conditioner. You're not supposed to make that joke. What am I, security at the airport? No, but we're not allowed to. We're not allowed to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not allowed to do that. What if I was a bombardier? Yeah, maybe that's what you meant. That's what I meant. That was one of the funner old man that does sciences that I've seen in a long time.
filthy right now. This room is thrashed. I just slid across Scarface's desk. My feet. Oh, that's awesome. Covered in powder. So, question, Jay. Are you willing to tell people how to do that? Oh, it's super simple. Basically, it is... What we did today was probably a five-gallon bucket. And we did... I think it was almost 50 pounds of cornstarch. Wow. Chris, being the incredible guy that he is, went to how many different stores, Chris? Five different stores and bought all the cornstarch. Oh, my gosh. They thought he was some kind of crackhead because they thought, what is he going to make with this? How much cornstarch does one guy need? He was like, do you have any more of this in the back? His cart is overflowing. Yeah, they're like, what are you, cutting cocaine or something? I bet you he went on a watch list this morning. Yeah, no kidding. Well, let me tell you.
50 pounds of cornstarch, then what? You just mix it with water until it... Yep, you mix it in until it gets... You kind of tell when it starts getting really... It makes it real good, and then it finally turns into this crazy... Stuff. I'd never done it before, so... Well, the reason that I want to mention to people how to do it is because if you do it for your kid, any kid would love that. Yeah. It's the coolest thing, you know, because it looks like liquid, it behaves like liquid, until... You stand on it and you start stomping. And then it holds your weight. You need a babysitter? You got it. Cornstarch and water. Do you think Jasper's going to have a good time with that this afternoon? Absolutely. Do you think Jay's going to take that cornstarch mix and make pancakes with it in the morning? Yes. Guaranteed. Yes. Just add a little sugar and it serves a couple of purposes. Well, that was pretty cool. Got an email for you. You can call us 570-1949 and tell us what you think about this. Mikey. Have to get your take on this. I recently started dating this guy who I met through a mutual friend. We really connect, totally get along, but something strange happened recently. Well, I thought it was strange. He's 40 years old and an only child. I asked him about making plans for this weekend, and he said he can't because he's going on vacation with his parents. Just him and his mom and dad.
Am I weird or is this just a guy thing? M1 Caitlin. It's not a guy thing. He is an only child. He's 40. You just started dating him. Now, here's the thing. Do I think it's unusual for a guy that is not in a relationship with somebody to go on vacation with his parents? If he doesn't really have anything else going on in his life, I guess not. I guess not. But if he's starting to date somebody, it can never come in the way of dating anybody. And I don't think that this particular one is necessarily coming in the way of dating her if he had these plans for a while. Right. And if it's a new relationship. And if it's a new relationship. However. However, if they start.
dating like from this point on he should not be making plans with mom and dad to go on a vacation with them but just him and mom and dad if he's got a girl because uh that by definition is is cleaving to your mommy and daddy you know you're not supposed to do that you're supposed to you know now if If you're single and there's nothing going on, you know, you don't have anything going on in life. I don't mean that. If you're single. If you're a loser. Unattached. If you're single. Clown. You're unattached and there's not, you know, whatever. I mean, people might make fun of it. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Even if you do start dating someone, you should ask her to go. But if you make it a priority to go hang out with her. Now, if they're paying for it. Yeah. It is a little bit mommy and daddy. A hundred. But. And I agree with that. If you take her, that's fine. And even if she can't go, though. But that has nothing to do with this. Right. That's not what... I don't see anything. I think it's cool that he still does that with his parents. Wow, maybe you get off the teat, pal. Yeah. But I love the teat. Well, I do too, but not my mother's teat. It's a fun teat. Well, the family teat. I love my family and their teats, but I don't want to go on vacation with said teats. But it's not just teats.
What is it? Somebody in our live audience just yelled out, I salute. Luke looked at me like, don't say what the other thing is. I think it's really weird. I do. I think that you're 40 years old. Yeah. Enjoy the time you have with your parents. It's short-lived. Okay, I get that. I get that. But the vacation. Yeah, me, mom, dad, just kicking it in Kauai. Feet up. That's weird. I would love that if my kids still wanted to go with me on vacation when they're 40. Well, I'm a good dad. Wait. Yeah, I'm not Crab Dad. Hey, Crab Dad. I bet you'd hate it. How about you, Crab Dad? What would you think of it? Crab Dad, when are you going to stop taking your kids on vacation? No, when are you going to start? Yeah, start. Well, then you got to stop. Yeah, Mike. Step number one for you, Crab Dad, will be taking your kids on a vacation. Well, wait a minute. Jay, okay. So.
Dude goes on vacation with his parents, no big deal. He's 41, 40, and starts dating a girl. And every year he goes on vacation with mom and dad. And it's like their thing. Would you think it was unusual if he wanted to continue that tradition and keep it the way that it is, meaning just him and just mom and dad? Absolutely. That's weird. Yeah. I mean, if he had somebody that was kind of serious or even just really fun, I mean, bring them. Make a bigger. I think vacations are more the merrier. Me too. But you said, L.O.B., that you think that even if she doesn't go. If she can't go, then I think it's still okay. But if he doesn't even ask her, then that's weird. Yeah, that would be strange. Yeah, I think he should always, I mean, if he's like exactly what Jay said, if he's with someone fun and serious. So if he wants to go on vacation with mom and dad like he always has by himself, weird. Yes. Yeah, I agree. I'm going on vacation with my dad. We're going to go see a football game together. But I'm also a married man. And that's, you know, there's degrees of okay and there's degrees of not okay. If you're going with your parents to their childhood birth place and to see the town that they grew up in, different.
But if you guys are going to Napa and wine tour, it's weird. Why is that weird? Because it's strange. You're 40. I think it's cool. Yeah. You don't want to experience things with your parents. Of course I do. You're making memories. Yeah, when I'm nine. I still do. The Grand Canyon still is spectacular no matter what age your parents are. Right. Remember in Brady Bunch they did that? The kids were 16. Yeah. And now I'm 40 and we're both going. And I'm seeing it for the first time maybe. And that's why I've seen it with my parents. Maybe you move out of the basement. Put down the Xbox controller. I'm the head of a large corporation. And I'm going on a vacation with my parents. I mean, we're making believe now. Isbell Productions is not a major corporation. It's a one-man shop. You didn't know I wanted the investors in Lincoln Financial. That's right. No, I'm with Woods. Anybody in here think that that's normal, strange? Come over to the microphone. Come over to the microphone. Talk right into that sucker. Tell me what you think. I'm thinking what if they're... Right up to you. What if the parents are religious and old-fashioned? Mikey. And old-fashioned, and he would want to invite his girlfriend, but he can't invite her because he doesn't want to disrespect his family. Yeah, I think that that's... That could happen. Yeah. That could happen. However, isn't it a little... I think it's kind of... Woods, I had a question for you, Woods.
Does it change anything if it's a female? Yes. It does? Oh, totally. That's totally fine. You just want to see her in a bikini. No, I'm saying she can go with her parents. Why? Because it's not a very manly thing to do, I don't think. Oh, gosh, you're so kind of in this male-female thing. What's male? You're a super... We just took my daughter's boyfriend with us on... You took him too. Yeah, we took him. Dude, it's two different conversations. One is taking boyfriends and girlfriends. They just did sleep in the same room. No, but one is taking them with you, and that's not what this is. This is about taking one kid, only child, going with mom and dad. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no husband, no wife. They're tight-knit. It's only been one kid the whole time. But don't you grow up at some point and go, I'm not going to. It doesn't mean you don't like your parents anymore. No. Well, I didn't say, shouldn't you stop liking your parents? Who knows? Maybe this is just the one. You don't want to go see them at their house for a week. I'm going to go see you at your house. We're all going to sit around your house for a week. Oh, this is great. Hey, let's all go to Kauai for a week. Fantastic. That sounds like a blast. Stop using your family as the example, Jay. That's weird. It is weird.
All right, let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Yes, Manny Pacquiao's song, Sometimes When We Touch, is number two on the adult contemporary charts. Yeah, it is. No way. Yeah? No. They recorded it professionally. And when we come back, you're going to hear a second of it. How's our chance? Let's do it. More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. GoPhone Unlimited is great. I'm talking about unlimited talk, text, and web for $50 a month. It's on the nationwide network, and it works really good. Now, here's a really cool thing about GoPhone. For $50, you don't have to go through the annual contract or the credit check, any of that stuff. You just get a phone.
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Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. One inch binder, just 50 cents. Three pack paper made erasers, just 50 cents. Pourable glue, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back to school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 813. Binders and erasers limit three, glue limit five. I'm Manny Batista. This is my story. Some of the older guys in our unit said their first time out was even tougher than they imagined. Dig in, they said. Follow orders. And wherever you go, take your Navy Federal credit card to buy a crib or a stroller or whatever baby thing your wife demands. Don't argue. Just buy. Three and a half million members from every branch of service and their families. Three and a half million stories. Navy Federal Credit Union. Daisy had a flair for the dramatic. Everything was a gasp, gulp, or sigh. But the biggest tizzy of all came when the ink in her HP printer ran out. So she bought original HP XL ink. Now she printed more pages and saved money, too. She was so happy she gave herself a standing ovation, followed by one solitary tear. Print more and save up to 40% on your printing with original HP XL ink cartridges. HP. Hit print. 920XL compared to single standard HP ink cartridges based on average retail pricing. Actual prices may vary.
And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Let's hear it in here. It's Mikey Show Live. Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful Manny Pacquiao. You ask me if I love you. Professional boxer. Some say, pound for pound, the best boxer in the world. Filipino guy, he believes, with every ounce of his beat, that he is an incredible singer.
and said, that's freaking terrible. He said, that's awful. Although, the Philippines just called and said, that's the best thing I've ever heard. Absolutely. They love him. I just want to know, like, because Manny had to run through a few songs before he went, that's the one. That's it. Because there was a few songs that he probably tried out and he was like, you know. I actually do a really good Chicago, but I don't know that I want to go that route because some of it's out of my range. Yeah, I was working on Sailing by Christopher Cross, and it just wasn't, you know, sailing. I didn't know if people would appreciate a man doing Celine Dion. And so I had to say no. I took a look at Boston, more than a feeling.
I took a look at a lot of big hits, but in the end, I had to say no. I think the winner is definitely Dan Hill, Sometimes When We Touch. Manny Pacquiao. Looks like every uncle I've ever had at a barbecue. With a Coors Original in his hand. Yellow belly. Just drunk. You got these guys back here. What? You got them with the Coors original. Oh, it's so true. It's so, so true. Hey, Mike, what are you doing, man? What are you doing, bro? You still doing the radio, dude? It's awesome, bro. Which station are you working at now, dude? That's freaking awesome, man. Hey, did you get any carne asada, bro? There's Spanish rice, dude, if you want some. Hey, Tia Helen made some Spanish rice. Oh, I'm sorry, bro. I didn't mean to spill that on you. I love you, bro. Where are you? Hey, how come you don't? How come you never write me on Facebook, man? I'm always saying hello to you on Facebook, man. This is every barbecue I've ever been to. Hey, man, I heard you're a crookie sheriff.
Is it true, bro? You're a crookie sheriff. Put those glasses on, dude. You are a crookie sheriff. If I ever saw one. We got new movies coming out today. The movie 30 Minutes or Less, which we talked about yesterday. They bought airtime here on the Mikey Show. That's coming out today. Final Destination 5. I've never seen any of those movies, but they look like they're visually cool. How do you have five final destinations? Final is final. Final is the end for those people. Semi-final destinations. They got a whole new group of people that got the final destination. Have you ever seen one before? I saw the first two, and I actually really enjoyed them. That's probably why they kept making them. Because people like them. Then they went downhill. I don't like them. Come on. Scares me. Another final decision. The second one sucked. The third one sucked. Fourth, I didn't give a chance. Got it. Well, let's listen to a clip from the movie. Why are you following us? You change things on that bridge. It's a wrinkle in reality. And that wrinkle is you. Are you saying that we can't stop this?
You're not supposed to be here. You're short of death. So you let death have somebody else in your place, and then you take their spot in the realm of the living, all the days and years that they've yet to live. And they take your place, and death looks about it. Now listen, it sounds stupid and everything, but visually it looks kind of fun, right? I mean, I like stuff that's fun to watch. I'm over everything having to be Citizen Kane. It's just not going to happen. You're not going to get really smart horror movies. I mean, it's supposed to be about seeing cool stuff. You have lowered your standards quite a bit. See Justin Bieber, never say never. Well, that's different. Oh, Jay, you'll be happy about this. The Glee movie is out today. Yeah, that's right. I wish I could play nice beaver. I feel that.
I don't think Jane Lynch is going to be in it, though. Oh, wow. He knows the whole thing. She's the best. She is good. Are you going to go see it? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it necessarily has to be on the big screen for me to enjoy it. I'll wait. Save that $14. L.O.B., what do you think America's favorite ice cream is? What flavor? Vanilla. That's the second favorite. Chocolate. L.O.B. That is correct. Chocolate? It is, in fact, chocolate. How you doing, baby? Chocolate's number one. Vanilla is number two. Number three, cookie dough. Do you like actual cookie dough? I eat when Jamie makes cookies. I bite right through it. Real good. Never been a fan. To me, it's always in my head. It's been like, ooh, that's raw. No. I have a new favorite ice cream. What is it? Macadamia nut. Oh, that's good.
That's for old guys. I never really had it before. I went to, when we were in Kauai, and it was actually in my shaved ice in the bottom of it. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's delicious. It's good. Butter pecan, number four. Oh, come on. That's an old, that's a grandfather's ice cream. It is good, though. Get me that tub of butter pecan. Butter pecan, dear. Disgusting. Mint chocolate chips, number five. Wow. That's good. Love it. I grew into, you know, when you're a kid, you don't like something, you don't like tomatoes or something, but when you're older, you like it. That was me with that. I used to think it was disgusting. I think those are two different things. Like, one's actually good for you. You grew into a tub of ice cream. It's just taste buds. The taste buds change. You know, they change. She's stuck with a tomato. It looks like you grew into Whoppers, didn't you? I'm allowed to eat macadamia nut, but you're too fat for ice cream. That's right, Mike. That ain't no king-size ice cream, all right? Strawberry number six. Oh, it's good. These are the most popular American ice cream flavors. Weirdos like strawberry ice cream. You don't like it? Sex perverts. It's good. It's pretty good. It's my favorite type of shake. Yeah. Sex perverts drink it. Really? Yeah, and eat it. Strawberry? You don't like a strawberry shake? No, I like vanilla shakes. He likes strawberry Yoo-Hoo, don't you? Me? Yeah. No.
No, I've never had you. I haven't either. That's like the weird... People that go for the strawberry-flavored stuff, they're weird. Sometimes L.O.B. will think something and then she'll say it. Right. We're talking about strawberry being a weird flavor. No, you were talking about strawberry being... I think strawberry is normal. What's snormal? It's like normal, but it's a little bit different. Rocky Road, number seven. Delicious. Coffee. Grew into that one. Didn't like it when I was a kid. Love it now. Put a little Heath bar in there. It's a little better. That's right. Nothing like coffee ice cream with a little bit of brownie chopped up into it at Goldstone. Peanut butter ice cream is the ninth most popular flavor in America. Too rich. And cherry vanilla. Cherry vanilla is the tenth most popular. Have I ever done that?
Maybe I'll do something. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. There is a new bank robber here in San Diego. The Geezer Bandit hasn't been here for a while. But there's a new bank robber called the Mr. Magoo Bandit. Why do they call him that? I'll tell you when we come back. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Morning, Joe. Morning, Ms. Thompson. One of these days, it's going to happen. Somebody's going to try to talk you out of boar's head. Joe, I'd like a half pound of that boar's head turkey. I got something for you, Mrs. T. It's a new turkey on special. It's not boar's head, Joe. Well, they tell me it's kind of like boar's head. It's not boar's head, Joe. It's almost boar's head. It's not boar's head. Do it for me, huh? What do you say? What do I say?
It's not boar's head. Yeah, I know. So I take it this boar's head is what you want, huh? That's what I like about you, Joe. You catch on quick. Everyone knows boar's head oven gold is the best turkey in America. But to get it, sometimes you have to insist. Ask them to show you the boar's head branded on the turkey itself. In other words, demand the brand. Boar's head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boris Ed Premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita and experience a taste so smooth it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. This September, the music scene in Vegas gets crazy, and there's something for everyone. Ben Harper plays poolside at the Cosmopolitan. The Beach Boys take over Mandalay Bay. Collective Soul serenades at Hard Rock. And Elton John takes up residency at Caesars Palace with his show, Million Dollar Piano. What's stopping you?
Go to VisitLasVegas.com and start planning your trip today. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Hey, I'm hearing all this talk about 4G in San Diego. So I go to Verizon and I ask the sales guy, so, 4G, huh? What's the big deal? He says, it's not just 4G, it's Verizon 4G LTE. And it's not a little faster, it's 10 times faster than the 3G smartphone you have now. I say, hmm, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, unbelievable. Then I ask, All that 4G LTE speed. Got anything that can keep up? Yeah, he says. The new revolution by LG. You can shoot and share full HD videos and multitask like never before. Now my brain's going so unbelievable. Verizon 4G LTE. The fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. Now with more coverage across San Diego. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon.
Activation, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4GLTE. It's back to school time, and Vons makes it a great time to give back to schools. When you buy participating items, 10% of the purchase price will go directly to the school of your choice. Look for the school bus tags on participating items now through September 13th. Use Vons Club at checkout. Then choose a local school to receive 10% of the price of the items you buy. Simple as that. So load up the card at Vons and help out your local school. And summer shines on at Vons with these fantastic Vons Club specials. Fresh 80% lean ground beef is only $1.97 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Two-pound containers of Pure Wall blueberries are just $4.99 each. And don't miss our buy four, save four dollars offer. Mix and match your favorites. Cheerios, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Chex, Fiber One Granola Bars, and many more. Look for buy four, save four dollar tags on participating items. Get back to schools and save on summer. That's ingredients for life. Vons. See store for details. This is the sound of Becky using a deposit-friendly ATM from Chase. So, I just push the deposit checks button and slide these checks right in the slot. This is the sound of Jane depositing checks at her bank's ATM. Ugh, I gotta lick this envelope. Ow! Becky. And I get a picture of my checks on the receipt to confirm. Jane.
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Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. Fiona loved flowers. Petunias, posies and peonies. Azaleas, amaryllis and asters. But one thing stood between Fiona and her bouquets. Sneezes. So she did the next best thing. She printed them with original HP XL ink. She printed more of her precious petals and saved money too. which she used to make a paper vase for all her paper flowers. Print more and save up to 40% on your printing with original HP XL ink cartridges. HP. Hit print. 920XL compared to single standard HP ink cartridges based on average retail pricing and actual prices. Join us to honor fascinating animals and ancient arts during the San Diego Zoo's China celebration. Open nightly June 25th through September 5th. Details at sandiegozoo.org. It's the end of the model year and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is going on now. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And Jay. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from that. On FM 94.9.
Got Mikey's show live in here right now. First, we had the Geezer Bandit. Now we have the Mr. Magoo Bandit. Mikey. Why do they call him the Mr. Magoo Bandit? Because he's got a bald head. Mikey. And let's see. Because of his bald head, he is also nearsighted. And that's it. They say that that is enough to call him the Mr. Magoo Bandit. And he's robbed five banks in San Diego in the last nine months. U.S. Bank on Rosecrans was Wednesday. And he goes in there. He's between 35 and 40 years old. He's between 185 and 200 pounds, bald, and wearing glasses. Well, I don't wear glasses, but if I did, then there may be reason to look into me.
They do say that he doesn't sound anything like Mr. Magoo. That's a good thing. Yeah. Lucky for him or else he might get criticized. That is true. That is true. I love this. L.O.B. says that I've turned her into an Amazon.com monster. Thank you very much. Oh, no. Past three weeks, she's received six different shipments from Amazon. Holy. You're a junkie. I know. Everything from scented oils to scrubby brushes. Is there anything more wonderful in that box? You're a monster. I know. I came, I walked to my friend's steps yesterday. There was a box waiting for me. I forgot I ordered something, and I was like, ooh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even remember what was in there. You don't have to. It's a surprise. It was just a scrubby brush, but it was great. Isn't it great? You open it up. Oh, look at you. I ordered you. I ordered you. I ordered you. Oh, that's great. Yesterday she was running low on toothpaste. And before just, you know, willy-nilly running out there to the store, she was like, wait a second. I think I can do this. I bought a tiny little travel size one from the store, but I'm going to order one on Amazon. I might order like seven of them just so they all come at once. It's my new bit. It's my new Costco. It's the greatest. She signed up for double deals. Double Ds?
Well, I should sign up for that. That's a big investment. She signed up for the Daily Deals. Weird. What is it, L.O.B.? They'll just give you whatever might be on sale that day. So I'll probably end up with a house full of crap. Yep. I know the feeling. Why not just go to the store? It's exciting. It's like a Christmas present waiting for you. Oh, wow. It's pretty awesome. What about all the mail? I know. That's why I want to order a lot of it at once, so it comes in one shipment. L.O.B., do you have any gigs this weekend that you want to promote? No, sir. Anybody? I'd like to say happy birthday to Liberty. Her birthday is tomorrow. She's 21. She'll be able to get drunk for the first time. She has no interest in that. There you go. End of the show on Friday, I tell you my story. And hopefully from my story, you will see some of your own. The reason that I tell you is because you may see some of your own story in mine. I grew up in a household that was loving. I grew up in a household that was a lot like any house. I was always, I always felt different. I felt unwanted. Biggest desire that I had growing up was to feel loved. As an adult, it's hard to tell you that, especially being a guy.
It's hard to tell you. It's hard to tell you that I was sexually abused, and I was when I was a kid. And the reason it's so hard to tell you is because it's embarrassing, but it's also, there's still shame involved in that. I still feel ashamed telling you that. But there's a lot of people that have gone through it, and I tell you about it because if you have felt like I have years after that happened, I want you to know that there's hope. That was the one thing in my life that there always seemed to be a very low amount of was hope. There was not something to look forward to. It's what I always desperately wanted was something to look forward to. I never felt like that existed. When I was in my 20s, I started to drink heavily. I was also using drugs, crystal and cocaine.
When I was in my early 30s, I was completely addicted to alcohol. I'd get the shakes until I drank. If there's anybody listening that has experienced any of that stuff, you can go to MikeyShow.com. And at the top of the page, it says help. You click there and it'll give you resources to all kinds of different ways to find help. There are rehab centers that don't cost you money. Whether you're a guy or a girl. Places on there. to get help for eating disorders. I finally gave up in 2003 and I gave my life to Jesus Christ in 2003. And when I did, he started to change my life. He's still changing my life. A lot of the feelings that I used to have, I don't have anymore. Don't feel alone. Don't have that immense feeling of desperation, hopelessness. If there's anybody listening right now that is going through a divorce,
Or somebody that's listening that is going through a really hard time with addiction, depression, and eating disorder. If there's anybody listening right now that, God forbid, has lost a child. I talked to somebody just yesterday that went through that. There was strength in his voice. Even though he's gone through losing a three-year-old daughter, there was strength in his voice. And the strength was God. knowing that he'll be with her again. That's the strength that I have when I think about the stuff that is going on with my dad and his cancer. I think about the stuff that's going on with my mom and her Alzheimer's. No matter what, none of us has to die. I'll see them again. Go to a church called North Coast Church in Vista. It's a great church, and I tell you that because many of you are looking for it. If you're not, it's okay. You don't have to go. I'll just tell you because I know a lot of people are looking for that strength.
And this is my story. This is how I found my strength. Maybe different for you, but this is what I did. I play a song at the end of the show, and the song is about that feeling that I was at at one point in my life about being alone. This song is called Not Alone. It's by Red. Hope you enjoy it. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you again on Monday. The Mikey Show's out, Lee. Someone who can save