The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/16/11
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
elvisdave chappelledvrwheel of painjeff bridgessmoking banwhy are we herealgae shothair colorhelium blimp
The show opened with Mikey sharing the shocking true story of Elvis Presley’s death on a gold toilet at Graceland, then moved into a discussion about Lauren O'Brien’s claim to Elvis‑related safety pins. Later, the hosts laughed about Dave Chappelle walking away from a $40 million deal, debated Lauren’s excessive DVR recordings, and played the 'Why Are We Here?' game with Neil Diamond and Miley Ray Cyrus. The conversation shifted to serious topics like a proposed California apartment smoking ban and the painful Wheel of Pain shock‑collar penalty, before ending with a nostalgic recount of a Jeff Bridges concert where the hosts got stranded and shared wine.
What happened, in order
Elvis Golden Toilet Death
Mikey recounts the true story of Elvis Presley dying on a gold toilet at Graceland after a constipation-related blowout.
Elvis Safety Pins Memorabilia
Lauren O'Brien describes inheriting original safety pins that allegedly held Elvis’s sheet to the gurney, with a certificate of authenticity from a Graceland groundskeeper.
Dave Chappelle Walks Away
The crew discusses how Dave Chappelle turned down a $40 million Comedy Central offer and disappeared from public view.
DVR Show Overload
Mikey argues that his wife Lauren records too many TV shows, leading to a debate about prioritizing recordings and marital DVR etiquette.
Why Are We Here? Name Game
Mikey, Jay and Woods play a guessing game with fake band names and the bizarre pairing of Neil Diamond and Miley Ray Cyrus.
California Apartment Smoking Ban
Jordan Goodman and the hosts debate a proposed California law that would prohibit smoking in apartments due to secondhand drift through ventilation.
Wheel of Pain Shock Collar
Losing the Wheel of Pain, Woods receives three shocks from a dog‑collar trainer as his on‑air punishment.
Jeff Bridges Concert Stranded
Mikey and Woods recount seeing Jeff Bridges in Phoenix, being stranded after the show, and sharing wine with Rebecca and Jamie.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienJayChrisRebeccaMatt CommerceJennaElvis PresleyKobe BryantAlex PadillaJerry BrownJordan GoodmanJeff Bridges
39,955 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Let's do this thing. You ready to go? 570-1949 is the number. Call us. First thing we always ask of you, get on the phone. Get on the radio. 570-1949 is our number. You can text us as well. 949mikey at gmail.com. There are four people on The Mikey Show. It's myself. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41 years of age. And a Mexican-American, but you would never know it. You would never know that because I... do not have any sort of Mexican accent. That's correct. So, I don't have an accent. Woodsy doesn't have an accent either, but I like to make it like he does. I like to make it like he has a southern accent when one doesn't really exist. You know, especially now, you've lost any semblance of a...
of a southern accent that you ever had. Is that right? Yeah, I think so. I think you're definitely very California acclimated. Wow. Woodsy is 36 years old, and he's a big player in the white v-neck world. Huge. He's going to have eight dogs very soon. Actually, I found out that I will not. You won't. My brother-in-law is moving to town. He'll be staying with us for a while and will not be bringing his dog. Do you have a start and stop date as far as the move-in? The start date, I do know. I do know that. I do know that that will be tomorrow. Okay. That's the go date. Yep. The end date, I don't really know. Big, giant question mark. Yeah. TFN. Until further notice. Yeah, TBD. That's what that means. To be determined. To be determined. There you go. So, he wants to find a job. Needs to find a place. Be nervous. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, let's be honest. Yeah, be honest. My brother would be nervous if I was moving in with him. Yeah. And I didn't tell him when I was leaving. He would be, well, he wouldn't let me. He'd need to know when. Yeah. That'd be my brother. He'd need to know when. He'd say, fine, you could stay with me, but you got to have a move out date. Right. Yeah, I'm nervous. I mean, it's, you know, our place is really small. And with four adults and, you know, because he's bringing his girlfriend, Jenna, too. Oh.
And seven dogs. Probably younger than your daughters, Jay. Yeah, she's 22, I was saying. 23, somewhere in that age. Yeah. But anyway, she is bringing a dog or not? She is not bringing a dog, but with four adults, seven dogs, in a tiny little house. Yeah, it's going to be cramped. It's going to be cramped. Just tell them they have a month. You know, it's family. You don't turn your back on family. You don't boot family out if they need you. Don't you? No. My family did. They were worried that I would be irresponsible and just sleep on the couch. And I would. I would. If you let me, I'm going to. I'll take advantage of a situation. But that's how I used to roll. And definitely how my brothers rolled. So we had to. With parents, it was different. Parents would do different things. But with my brothers, they had a very strict line because they knew that we were yahoos. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She is also a comedian. She is 30 years of age, blonde, blue-eyed, and from New Jersey. I want to squeeze them. All right. And Jay is our 47-year-old. He is our 47-year-old, right? 48. Can't get it right. He's at 49 yesterday. Yeah. He's our 48-year-old.
producer. Creeper. Yes, he is. He's definitely Creeper. I don't know what you're talking about. P-I-G. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Cross. That's Cross. Today's word of the day, powder. When you hear powder between now and 10, be caller 9. And I'll give you a pair of tickets to go see, or I'll give you a resort hopper ticket to the Legoland thing. So you can go from Legoland into their aquarium. It's very cool. Wheel of Pain at 730. We will spin the Wheel of Pain, whatever it lands on. Woods and Jay will have to do, depending on who wins the Wheel of Pain, and the way we determine it is by band names. give them a band name. They have to tell me if the band name is real or fake. I hope you put a little more effort into it than you did last week. I did. Did you? I did. You sure? I did. You threw Jay some real big softballs. Well, apparently I threw you both of you softballs because I was using band names that are well known. They weren't well known to me, but...
This time I have either checked with Lauren O'Brien or I have made sure that they are band names that you won't know. I took Led Zeppelin off the list. Okay, good, good. You would know that. I went deep. Good. So yesterday it was announced, I got a little message on my phone. It was a news alert. And the news alert was that Google bought Motorola for... $12 billion. Now, here's the irony there. I got this message on my cell phone. Now, what people have to realize is that we're doing a lot of junk now on our freaking phone. Our phone is where we live now. In fact, the sales of computers, laptops are going, they're sinking. And what's going up is the sale of phones and things like the iPad. And so they're realizing that people don't need to do their stuff and live their life on a computer anymore. They put their computer in something small and carry it around with them. Google, they just figured it out. And so they decided they were going to spend 12 billion bucks to get a hold of Motorola. Now, what does that mean to the average person? It means they get Android.
It means that they're going to start incorporating all their junk into Android and they're going to start. They are no longer just going to be in the search engine business. They're saying to the world, we're now going to start making phones and we're going to go up against Apple and we're going to try to be as popular as they are. Plus, we're tired of getting sued by Apple because Apple keeps suing us because we were ripping them off in patents. And so. We have an idea. We'll buy them for 12 bill and we'll make life a lot easier for a lot of people. So pretty soon what you're going to see is new phones coming out from Google. People are going to be living their life on Google phones. And the 12 billion dollars, that's a lot of dough. That's a lot of dough. And it happened yesterday. And you can expect your Android phones to be changing and your world to be changing. How do you feel? Are you sad? No. All I know is that this is more proof of what I knew was happening, which is that people are getting away from laptops and home computers. I mean, we still have them. I just wonder if we still will by the time my boys are grown up. I think by the time my boys are grown up, you'll be able to do the same kind of stuff with something that you can carry in your pocket. Yeah, I can't imagine that.
I mean, all the Word programs and everything like that on that small little screen. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. Well, somebody told me that they heard that, and this is they.com, you know, so when I say they, but that Apple wants to put out a version of their iPad that has a little keyboard that slides out of it and holds itself up on its side, and you'll be able to type on it. Now, I can tell you, for me, when I was making the choice to be on a train, I was going, well, what do I want? Do I want to take my... Even my laptop, my MacBook Air, which weighs a pound, it doesn't weigh anything. Do I want to take that with me or do I want to take my iPad? And it was easy, the iPad. First of all, with your laptop, you can't be in the car with your wife driving somewhere and be on your computer if you're taking a trip. And a lot of people want to. They want to keep up with the Yankees. So they want to know what's going on. They want to watch video of the Yankees while they're on the road. Well, you can't. You can't take a computer and do that. You take an iPad, it's easy. You got a network, a 3G network, you're good to go. You do all your stuff on an iPad. Yeah, I can't stand even working on a laptop, though. The screen's too small. I want to have this size monitor in front of me. Oh, you're an older guy. He's older. That's the deal. I think that there will always be a market for big computers, but it'll be for an older generation. Yeah.
The younger generation is getting into, everybody uses their phone, man. I'll tell you what, when I get an email from you in the morning or sometime and I got to write you back on my phone, it makes me nuts. Makes me nuts. That's why you'll get the, okay, cool, man, response instead of a detailed response. Yeah, but you like the text. I like the text, but even it has been pointed out to me that my texts are very short since I've gotten the iPhone. Okay, cool, man. Right. Too close together. It's too close together, and the autocorrect makes me nuts, and so I'm still not acclimated to that freaking thing. It took me a while. I love the microphone. I can just go, tell Woods to screw off. You can speak into it? I can speak right into it at Texas. Yeah, you can get that. Did you know, Woods, there's dictation stuff where you just talk and it'll do it? Too fancy for me. It's not my stuff. It's a button. It's standard with Jay's phone. Talk to me, Woods. I don't know. It's going to screw it up. It's going to screw it up. Is that why? Yeah. Are you sure that's why? Why else would it be? I suspect it's because you think that you're a nerd if you do that. Dorky. It's a little dorky. That's it. Tell Mike that I'll be in at 6.04 today. I mean, ridiculous. My boyfriend, Matt Commerce, is obsessed with it. And everything he searches for locates Lucadia Pizzeria.
You and your stupid dick tape. Locating Lucadia, Greece. Right. That's how he has to talk to it. Otherwise, it messes it up. Yeah, you have to speak clearly. So he talks all of those and enunciates. So how does it work for you? It works for me. It loves me. That's weird. It's figured me out. See? It's fingered you out. It's fingered you out. It's fingered you out. Woodsy, what about... What about the... What's going on in sports? Well, this was an interesting story I ran across this morning. Apparently, the police here in San Diego would like to talk to a huge NBA star, Mr. Kobe R. Bryant. Really? Of the Los Angeles Lakers. Listen to what this guy allegedly did to a guy at church. So he's at church with his wife in Carmel Valley. Okay, he's at Carmel Church. And he sees this guy kind of jimmying around on his phone. And Kobe's like, well, he's obviously taking pictures of us. Walks up to the guy, grabs the guy's wrist and grabs the phone from him. Only problem was there were no pictures of Kobe or his wife on the phone. Now the guy's saying that Kobe has hurt his wrist. And police want to talk to Mr. Kobe R. Bryant about said situation. What was he doing at church in San Diego? I don't know. Family or something? Could be. And boy, if somebody's taking pictures of you, can you imagine? I know, right? Oh, it makes me crazy. And the guy wasn't. Yeah.
Guy wasn't even taking pictures. Even if he was, it's a free world, you know? Oh, not in church. You don't want your picture taken. Oh, please. Well, it's one thing to not want your picture taken. It's another thing to want to grab somebody's wrist. Yeah. But my favorite part is, you hurt my wrist. Yeah. Did he? Yeah. Did he hurt your wrist? He's a big, strong man. I know he is. I know he is. But I think the guy might see a little few dollar signs. Maybe. By the way, I'm not famous enough that... Anybody wants to take my picture in church, but if they did, I don't have a problem with it. The only time I'd ever have a problem is if my kids are around. Yep. You know, I don't, your kids are different. You just feel like a papa bear. Yeah. You don't want anybody jacking with your kids. Well, if they ask me, hey, can I get a picture of you guys? Well, that's different. Well, this guy wasn't asking. He wasn't asking. Creeping on someone is weird. Creeping is weird. And then, but whatever. And then not creeping on him because he wasn't creeping on him. They said there were no photos found on the phone. Yeah. The guy's like, I don't even watch basketball. Who are you? I don't even know who you are. Can you imagine if he didn't know? Yeah. It's possible. Possible. I mean, if you're not the type. Yeah, Jay probably. He'd have no idea. Jay probably wouldn't know. He'd be sitting next to Kobe at dinner. He'd have no clue. No. Oh, my gosh. Maybe. So what do you do? Oh, my gosh, dude. It's true. Yeah. If I wouldn't know. Even if I did know, I wouldn't say anything. Yeah. I'm just too embarrassed, I think. 34th anniversary. Bubba's dead. Can I get a peanut butter and banana sandwich?
Did he really die in the toilet? Yep. Is that a true story? Yep. That's not like a wives' tale? Nope. He was constipated, baby. And he blew a gasket. Did he? Is all this true? Uh-huh. No, come on. It's a true story. Oh, wow, really? Gold toilet. Uh-uh. Yeah. Tell me when you start making stuff up, because I don't know. I believe everything. Everything you're saying, I believe. He's found on the toilet. Hey, partner, come on. You've got to relax. Don't force it. It's going to blow out your hole ring. Well, he did. He did. Apparently. Thank you. Thank you very much. Woodsy. Yes. Dude was constipated. Yep. He was on a golden. Yeah. His toilet was made of gold. Was this at Graceland? Yes. He died at Graceland. In his bathroom. Okay. In his golden toileted bathroom. And they knew that he blew out an O-ring. How did they know? Because when they got there. I think he was slumped down on the. On the toilet. On the toilet. Trying to do his business. He was pretty jacked up, though. I mean, he had a lot of drugs, a lot of drugs at this time of his life. I wonder what Elvis was taking. You know, because that was not the days, was it? They used to do, for Elvis, I saw a documentary one time, and they said that they used to get liquid cocaine, okay, and they used to put it on a Q-tip, and they'd shove it up his nose, and he would just walk around with Q-tips, him and all his posse, right?
And then they'd bring him down. They'd give him barbiturates to take him down. After he was high, he'd get up to perform, and they'd have to bring him down. It's like Michael Jackson. Yeah, it's like Michael Jackson. Oh, my God. Same bit. He was jacked on drugs, man. He sold 10 million singles. 10 million singles. He's a king, dude. That's a lot. Apparently, money can't buy happiness. Fair enough. Well, that's a big misnomer. People believe that. People believe money can buy happiness and cannot. But he died on this day in 1977. Rest in peace, brother. I remember it because my family and I were driving across the country to Georgia. We were driving to Georgia and we were going to visit some friends. And when we arrived, we walked into the house and my mom was crying and my various adults were crying. And I didn't know why. And it was because Elvis had died and they were Elvis fans. And so, you know. It was very confusing. Trying to figure out why he was such a big deal. Of all the fans, they're still today. Today, at Graceland, there's already hundreds of people outside of Graceland. Throngs of devoted Elvis fans. They're all out there. It's probably hot and humid. Memphis.
But they're out there, and they're remembering Elvis Presley. 34 years later, and the guy is still extraordinarily popular. Yep. I saw him perform at the rodeo in Texas at the Astrodome. Really? No way. How old is you? It was like the 70s, and he came out in a Cadillac and went around. It was a big, giant Astrodome. Yeah. And he cruised around the outside of the venue, and I'm a little kid, and I'm just like, wow. That's awesome. You must remember it pretty good. Because it's Elvis, right? Well, I didn't know who Elvis was. Did he perform or not? Oh, yeah. He got up on a little stage and rotated out in the middle and he sang his songs. I was going, let's go back and do that. Let's go do anything else. I'm just ready to go do something else. Right. Not understanding. Not understanding at all. Elvis Presley. The king, baby. You're really into him, right? I love him, man. Always have. Went to Graceland, did the whole thing, the whole tour. Must be nice. I have a... I have a collection. Yeah, your boyfriend wouldn't let you go, L.O.B. My ex-boyfriend, yes. Wouldn't let you go to... He got so far as the gate in front and said, have you seen enough? Well, no, I want to... No, let's go. What a jerk. What a D, that guy is. But Woodsy, you went and you have like some kind of Elvis collection that's going to be passed on to you? My great aunt is...
Number one Elvis fan. Huge. It lives in Tennessee right now. But you realize that every giant Elvis fan claims to be the number one Elvis fan. This one may have, she may take the cake. She's got original first run singles of his, you know, first few hits. I get all those. This is a weird story and I don't know if I believe it. Her husband worked for the Memphis coroner system, whatever. Medical examiner's office. There you go. Medical examiner's office. Four safety pins that were allegedly on the sheet that held Elvis down to the girl. That's what she says, and they'll be mine. No way to prove it, but at least I'll know I'll have them. They will be yours. Oh, they will be yours. Okay, they will be mine. They will be yours. Hey, what if it's true? That's pretty cool. If it's true, yeah, what will you do with them? Sell them? Put them in a box, no. You could sell them to the number two. You could sell them to the number two Elvis Presley fan ever. He might be, or she, may be willing to pay top dollar. You never know. I have some in here right now that were used actually to clip him to the sheets as well. I brought him in. Listen. I watched that stupid show. I've watched that stupid show, Storage Wars, where they get items like that. In order for them to be worth anything, you got to have the...
Authenticity. Certificate of authenticity. There is a picture of this woman, my great aunt Helen, her husband Al, standing next to the gurney. And you can see the safety pins there. Those are the ones. From what I understand, a groundskeeper at Graceland actually notarized it at the time to make sure. Everyone would know from that point on these are, in fact. I hear a lot of jealousy. A certificate of authenticity. I hear a lot of jealousy right now. I think the feds might come after you and say that's tampering with a crime scene. Could be. Could be. Well, I'll answer any questions that they have or you have. Well, in all truth, Woodsy, I think you got to the bottom of it. I am jealous. I would like to be the one that at some day that box rolls in UPS. Yep. And there I have the shoe box that contains the four. Safety pins. The death gurney. Rusty. Well, what happens is you open up the top of the box and there's a layer of velvet. 100%. There's a layer of velvet. And on them, safety pinned down, ironically enough, four safety pins. Oh, yes. There you go. That's fantastic. It'll be mine. Vacuum sealed, I guess. And I will bring it in for all to see. Wow. Now, is that what you will inherit?
She only gave the safety pins to you. I get everything, dude. You get it all. All of her, you know, all the records that she has, which will be priceless. Priceless. Like first run singles of Elvis. Everything. All her memorabilia and everything she has will all be mine. If that were me, if I were the one that was getting it, I would already have contacted an appraiser. Yeah. And I would say, what's a bunch of Elvis stuff worth? I'm a collector, though. I'm not in it for the money. I like to collect stuff. I collect sports stuff and all that, like memorabilia. I like that stuff. I'm not in it for the money. Here you go. I'm in it for the love. You're in it for the love, bro. It's a feast. You're in it for the love. Yep. And you're in it for the long haul. That's right. You know what I mean? That's right. They took the dinosaur down, the pterodactyl. Yeah, they did. Came down in Cardiff. Causing traffic jams, I imagine. Well, you know, a lot of people went out there because they wanted to see it. Took it down at 5 o'clock yesterday morning. A lot of people were going out there because it was turned into a tourist site. You guys know this, man. Whenever there's one of these things that happens, did you know that the area starts to experience a bunch of economic boom? Yeah, I imagine. Huge. Tourism. Yeah. They said that their business, one of these business owners down there said his business goes up 25 to 30%. Wow. Whenever they build one of those things.
That's reason enough to keep it going. That business owner is a marijuana dealer on the beach. Could be. You don't ever know. I saw on the news yesterday that a guy from Ramona drove all the way out there, a full tank of gas, and got there, and they had taken it down. He's like, I want my money back. Yeah, that was Lee Barker. We live up in Ramona, and we came all the way down here to see the pterodactyl. I want my money back. Well, speaking of money, the guy Eric that built it cost him $1,300 to make this one. Wow. Yeah, he got the idea because he was looking at a little girl looking at the shark that he made. He was watching her, you know, look at this shark. And he was like, I got to do something for kids. He made a diorama. So cool. Yeah. When I got there to look at it in person, all the kids, because there were smaller dinosaurs next to him, too. All the kids were posing with the dinosaurs. Of course. The parents were saying, don't touch anything. Yeah. Just get in the picture. Mm-hmm. You know Dave Chappelle.
was offered $40 million by Comedy Central. And he walked away from the deal. He said, no, I'm not going to do it. You know, he's pretty much been in seclusion. Nobody's really heard of him. Did his first interview with a radio station in Florida and was talking about this kind of gnarly incident that happened with him on stage. And it recently happened. He went back and he was on stage. Something bad happened. He explains what happened. And we got it for you. It's coming up here. or shoot him a text 949mikey at gmail.com The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9
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This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Heading on the Coronado Bridge westbound mid-span, there was an earlier accident. They cleared that. CHP's trying to locate another two-car crash that's in the middle of lanes. Escondido, the 15 in both directions between the 70 and the 8. 78 and the 8. It's just a little slow right now. And you do have some backup out of La Mesa on the 125 southbound between Amaya Drive and the 94. This report brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Right now, get three regular tacos. just $1.09. That's three tacos for $1.09 at Del Taco every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Anytime you're ready. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like watching guns and blowing stuff up. All I want is a crisp, sweet apple. That's it. And you can't find it. I can't find it. Every time I buy it, it goes, Lauren. I write bad reviews about them online. And Jay, he'll go on a girls' trip, and I'll go on, like, a surf trip or something. But if I have a choice, I would rather be together. Well, what am I hearing? Now. On FM 94.9. Wheel of Pain at 7.30. Word of the day is powder. I haven't said it yet, so no worries. So, yeah, Dave Chappelle, he left show business, I mean, at the height of his fame. Comedy Central wanted him to come back.
And do some more Dave Chappelle. And they offered him $40 million. And he walked away from it. And not only. He didn't just walk away from it. He kind of disappeared. And people thought he was nuts. Because no one knew where he was. He was supposed to like start making episodes. And all of a sudden he just disappeared. Nobody knew where he was. And so anyway. He's starting to get back on stage. And do stuff on stage again. And I guess he did his first interview. He hadn't done an interview in years. And he did his first interview on a radio station. He was talking about how he was at one of his performances recently at an Indian casino in Florida. And some of the people there were, and it wasn't his performance, actually. It was like a charity. He went and did this charity thing. And there were some people that were sitting in the front row that were distracting him. Okay, in Florida? Yeah. I don't know what happened. Someone said I melted down. Someone said I had a nervous breakdown. I wasn't nervous at all. The thing is, it was an Indian casino, and I felt like they were trying to get a reverse Kramer shot on me. Oh, really? Do you get that? 100%. They're trying to get him to look like Kramer, like the actor that played Kramer in Seinfeld. Michael Richards. Yeah, because Michael Richards was captured on YouTube in a L.A. comedy club, like really genuinely being racist. It wasn't a joke. It was like he was doing this inflammatory rant.
about black people in the front okay first of all i come out on the stage and the youtube extravaganza began everyone's pulled their camera phones out yeah which is weird which is like okay that's cool for like the first let's say few minutes and then the whole front row starts heckling me and apparently the front row was the seminal indians whose casino was so the security didn't want to tell them to be quiet and if we can imagine trying to talk to someone and They're talking while you're talking. Ain't it on the camera in your face? Now, this obviously wasn't the whole audience. There's thousands of people there. So, you know, at a certain point, I was like, you can't possibly expect me to do a show here. You can't? No. There should be a rule against that, right? Yeah. Videotaping people on your cell phone? I mean, there should be a rule against it. And, you know, I mean... It's distracting. You can't do stuff that's distracting. Yeah, the heckling, too. Like, they're trying to evoke a response from him so they can get it on YouTube. Yeah, it's stupid. I did a gig at Pechanga, the Indian reservation in Temecula, the casino there, and there was weird politics happening backstage. Really? Yeah, with some of the, I guess, the...
Indians that were native to whatever that tribe was there that we were. And it was kind of like, same thing, like, oh, well, they get to do whatever they want because, you know. Well, I do believe, and somebody can call us and tell us, but I do believe that there's kind of their own rules and they kind of have their own laws and everything while you're there. And you have to respect it and abide by it. But in this particular case, he couldn't do anything because, you know, they were heckling him and nobody wants to do anything because... Part of the tribe. I heard he just stood up there. Yeah, he just stood there. Yeah, until it ended. Yeah, for like 45 minutes. Yeah, until his time slot was supposed to be done. Wow. Dude. Well, yeah, I mean, you can't perform if people are doing that. I feel bad for Dave Chappelle. He's a talented dude. Yeah. So yesterday we were talking about how my wife and I had a disagreement about the DVR. Because my wife puts a lot of... TV shows on the DVR and I don't put very many. And I felt like she was giving me a little bit of an attitude like she didn't want me to use the DVR. And I said, are you suggesting that I do not use the DVR player? And she said, no, I'm not. What I'm suggesting is that when you do record your programs, that you do only first run. That way you see when you tape something that is, say,
A theology show. And they do a theology show marathon. 47 episodes don't tape. And cut off my shows. That makes sense, right? Absolutely. It makes sense to me. Give and take. Well, I owe Rebecca an apology. Because she doesn't tape 40 TV shows. She tapes 37. Now... I made it seem yesterday like she taped 40. Like she was ridiculous. That's an exaggeration. It was an exaggeration. Way over the top. Three over the top. I could not believe all the shows. I was reading your blog, and I could not believe all the shows that she watches. Woods wanted me to blog it. Yeah, I didn't. I wanted to hear it. Woods wanted me to blog it, and so I did, and here are the shows. Oh, boy. Dexter, Big Brother, America's Next Top Model, Grey's Anatomy, Celebrity Apprentice, The Apprentice, So You Think You Can Dance, Friday Night Lights, Top Chef, American Idol, The Bachelor, The Big Bang Theory, Ingenious Minds, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Real Housewives of Miami, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Bachelorette, The Rachel Zoe Project, Our America with Lisa Ling, Modern Family, 48 Hour Mystery, 2020, Dateline NBC, The First 48, America's Funniest Home Videos. Watch what happened.
Now, again, it is not 40 shows. It is, in fact, 37 shows. And to her defense, some of these shows are not on every week. She simply programs them in so that when they are in season, they'll record. So some of them are not on right now. For instance, American Idol, not on. Fair enough. And so when it does come back on, it'll tape. It's ready. It's ready to tape. She's got herself teed up for the year. Exactly. You should just list the ones that she doesn't record. That would probably be a shorter list. Now, here are the shows that I tape. Swamp People, Man vs. Wild, and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. Now, to her defense, she's allowed mine to be the top priority. As long as...
with the caveat that they're changed to first run. And they are. Good. Of course. Nice. So the next time Swamp People and Man vs. Wild or Bizarre Foods comes on, as long as it's... Bizarre Foods out of season. Man vs. Wild out of season. And Swamp People out of season. But when they're back, I'll watch them. Holy... Oh, I had to keep hitting the button just to scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Now, she cleaned it up. She went through there. She had to erase all these shows that we don't watch. I did, too. I had to go through my list of shows because I had three extra shows on there that I didn't read. There were three more shows on there. Does this happen with you? 5701949. Yes, we control the remote control. And by we, I mean men. But I think it's the women that control the DVR. I don't really tape that much on the DVR. Is it your wife, Jay? Oh, it's my daughter, Liberty. Oh, my gosh. She's got a bunch of shows. She's killing me. I'll go in to watch a stinking show, and I can't because it's two things to record. Yes. Oh, gosh. And you don't dare stop it. Oh, I do. You do? Oh, it's my daughter. If it was my wife, I couldn't, but it was my daughter. You feel like a prisoner in your own home. You're like, I can't change the channel. I can't even change the channel, and I have to watch something on DVR. And she doesn't come to you 22 minutes into a show and go, Dad! Yeah, absolutely. And I go, well.
When you get your own place. Yeah, that old bit. The old bit. That old bit. Gosh, darn. Yeah, it's happened. It says you got to make a choice. Do you want to stop taping The Real Housewives of New Jersey? Or do you want to stop taping Storage Wars so that you can watch Monday Night Football? Right. I have to make a choice. That's easy. Yeah, it's easy for me too. I go eenie, meenie, miney, moe. Storage Wars. You are done taping your show. Yep. If you holler, I say no. Because I'm a gunna watching my show. Whoa. And I turn it off. Sorry. Yeah. She doesn't give me any guff. Mine does. She gets mad at me and then I go, maybe you're just watching on your laptop. Yeah. And she does. She does. Yeah. She'll download it.
She will watch it. If you go to, you know, NBC.com, you can watch full episodes or Hulu or something. Yeah. She can watch them. So I'm like, hey, sorry, not clogging up DVR with so you think you can dance a bit. Yeah. I got Yankees to watch. Oh, my gosh. But what I'll do is I'll tape a full baseball game, which is about four hours. In high depth. She gets so mad. 162 games. Yeah. Which takes up more space. Yeah. 570-1949. Give us a call. This is M1 Lunchbox from San Diego. What's up? Not much, man. Dude, I have the same problem all the time. Keeping up with the Kardashians. Every night, man. Every night. Now, my wife isn't into the Kardashians, which I'm surprised. She usually likes the same stuff that L.O.B. likes. And L.O.B. likes the Kardashians. That shows the worst. Did you almost say the best? You almost said the best. No, no, no, no, no. That show makes you want to go to the Coronado Bridge and just take a dive. I got you. Too soon. I got you. Hey, thanks for the call, dude. I don't, I'm not like a big aficionado. You love it. I love me. It's fine. You know, you're trying to give this perception that you're not what you watch. I'm not an aficionado. Well, aren't you? Well, but I don't watch in real time. I watch old seasons. Oh.
Then you're totally ready to start teaching at Harvard. There's just not really that much on Netflix. So it's like, what do I do? I watch Pawn Stars? It's very indie of her. She's like, I don't watch the current ones. I like the old ones. Right. It's very indie. That's what indie has come to. Yes. Kardashians. I wouldn't watch the new episodes of the Kardashians. No, but I don't deviate. I wouldn't have to see my episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I don't even have cable. Of course, Mike. I watched the Kardashians, but only the first few seasons when it was still, you know, viable and grassroots. That's not what I'm saying. Not anymore, though. I wouldn't watch it now because now it's become this machine, this sort of juggernaut. Now it's become a juggernaut of sort of pop culture. I'm not going to do that. That's what I'm saying. Of course I won't. What do you think I am? Some sort of mindless kook that watches the Kardashians? What I'm saying is I don't live off of keeping up with the Kardashians. And some people do, Mike.
Some people actually, they can't go from one moment to the next without a bit of Kardashian in their teeth. In fact, when they get to work, you look at their teeth and Kardashian's dripping off of them and you know you've been feeding on it, haven't you? You sort of mammal that can't get enough carnivorous eating of Kardashian. That's a great bit. Yeah, I know it is, sister. Trust me. I hear it enough. Oh, my gosh. It's so good. Well, what are you going to do? 570-1949. This is M1 Debbie from San Diego. What's up, Debbie? I think a lot of the blocking the TV, you know, when you've got two things keeping at once. Uh-huh. What I do is, I'm such a genius here, I went through, you know, just scrolling through the guide, and a lot of those shows like this want people. all the things that aren't networked, they'll show like at 2, 3 in the morning. So you record them. You know, you take them just to record late at night. Good idea. TV during the day. So when, you know, somebody else wants to watch, say, a baseball game, whatever, it's cool. The TV is free. That's good stuff. That's a very good idea. I tell you, it took a while. It took a long time to figure this one out, but it takes a lot of problems. I like it. Hey, thank you.
You're welcome. I appreciate it. Do you feel that, Woodsy, that women can misinterpret things that guys say? Now, what I mean, I know they can. I know that they can. But I need L.O.B.'s help on this, too. It's one of those things that, okay. Because I'm watching this thing the other day. Documentary. Weird. There are some things that I don't believe happen as often as they say they do. In fact, I think that they've become like wives' tales. But you tell me. Like a dude saying to his wife or his girlfriend, you look hot in dresses, and she changes that. See, I don't think this happens as much as people say it does. I think that that's a wives' tale. It's an old bit. An old bit. Maybe it does. I just, maybe I don't see it. You look hot in that dress. Turns into, but I... I don't really wear dresses that often, so what are you saying? So I don't look hot in pants. Yeah, and I don't think that happens. I don't, well, I think it's kind of a wife's tale, like maybe that used it. Does that still really happen? I mean, it doesn't happen in my house, you know, but my wife can take a compliment pretty well, but I, you know, I guarantee it happened. Yeah. Or if you say, wow, you really look tan, and they're like, what, do I look pale usually? Wait.
I think my wife might have gotten me on that one a couple weeks ago. Wow, your legs are tan. Why, are they always white? I'm like, oh, shoot. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, so maybe it does then. Yeah, it does. It does happen. Where you say something nice and it's... Now, this doesn't happen usually when you switch it around, though. No. For guys, I don't know if it's that we're just too lug-head-y. Simpleton-esque. Yeah, we may be simpletons. Yeah. When you say that... For instance, L.O.B., I'm guessing that your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, ain't turning a lot of stuff that you say around and going, oh, really? No, never. Not one. That's not him. It ain't me. I just hear it, and it's hard for us to pay attention, too, is the other deal. Yeah, because we're probably not listening anyway. It's hard for us. Knowing us. It's hard for us. Right. But it could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 570-194-9. Do we... Do women misinterpret stuff or is that something we're making up? Because I know that that used to be the case. I just feel that we've evolved. Do you do it? It depends if I'm insecure. Usually, like, if you're dating somebody and you're not quite sure how they feel about you and they say something like that, I think you're quick to be like, oh, well, what do I normally look like? But, yeah, it usually just comes at a moment of insecurity. Not all the time. Like when you're in your period or something, too. Oh, gosh, what's... Oh, that really... Oh, no, no.
When you're like premenstrual. Oh, God. That could happen, right? Don't with that. That could happen, though. Could it not? Stop it. Because you're like emotional. It's like fallopian tubes and hormones. I just want to keep throwing out. You're like. Moving terms. Oh, God. You sure were a lot sweeter last week. Oh, fallopian tubes got me. Fallopian tubes. Fertility cycle. Menstrual cycle. Stop. Oh, that's the worst one. Period. Period. Don't say that word. That's punctuation. That's punctuation. That's punctuation. Yeah. Please just make it be punctuated. Oh, man. Menopause. Oxi-pad. Diaphragm. These are all words that make men uncomfortable. Sponge. Stop! Stop! Semen. Oh! You can't say that one. What? It's a medical term. I know, but you can't. Holy cow. Are we children?
Clearly. Are we just a bunch of kids that we can't say these words? Come on. Outstanding. 570-1949 is the number. Let's see. Good Lord. M1 Jim. Jim from San Diego, you there? Yes, good morning. Good morning. Well, I just wanted to say that my girlfriend does this constantly, as is the most women that I've ever known. I think they're trained as five-year-olds to manipulate their fathers, and it carries right into adulthood where, you know, oh, you're saying I look really good, so I used to be fat. Oh, well, I'm sorry. I mean, oh, God, if I eat a bullet. It's so... But then you're back in the corner, and you have to buy them something nice. Yeah. Makeup stuff. Tell them to get. It's called makeup gifts. It's a game, so... I wonder, man. Sometimes I wonder if... If we're men from little boys and if we're women just from a young age, they learn. Trained. Learned behavior, my friend. Let's see. And what, Courtney from Hillcrest, you there? Yep. Go ahead. Hi. I was going to say, I don't really know if it's so much a gender thing. I kind of was going with what L.O.B. said earlier. You know, if you're feeling insecure that day or if you just have, I don't know, low self-esteem for whatever reason. Because I used to give compliments to my boyfriend.
Well, ex-boyfriend. And he would be like, oh, so you think I look good in that picture? Does that mean you don't like any other pictures? Oh, man. That came from a guy. He's a gay man. Yeah. May have been. No. You look good. Just learn how to take a compliment. Yeah. Well, thank you for the call. I appreciate it, Courtney. Just as insecure, I think, about stuff like that as women are, though. I mean, because I don't take good pictures, man. I take some hideous pictures. And if Jamie's like, oh, that's a really good picture of you, I'm like. I know in the back of my head, yeah, because she's seen 75 other that I look like a fat goat. You know what I mean? I'm insecure about it. I don't want it. But Rebecca just didn't say anything about it. No good or bad. Which is almost better. Hey, I'm fine with that. Trust me, I'm fine with that. How's Shooter? How's your dog? He's okay. He's been better, but he's okay. He's at home recuperating. Did you have to pay $1,200? They actually kept the price down. It was about, all total was about $900. Do you want to respond to that, Woods? No, I'm just going to let that go. You're going to let it go. Jay would have shot him. Last hunting trip. Let's go hunting one more time. He's not terminal. It's an ear. He's not terminal. It's the ear problem. So for $1,200, it would have been terminal. But you know I ain't paying $1,200.
You're a monster. I would have left him out in the countryside. Hey, listen. For me, it's got to be free. If you're an animal lover, that's what I tell them. I turn the guilt back on them. I thought you was an animal lover. I thought you loved animals. That's why you got into this business. That's right. You ain't going to take care of my pet? You're a monster. Monster? Charlie Sheen. He went on Entertainment Tonight and they wanted him to record a promo. And they asked him to say one of his big catchphrases. And he refused. And apparently he won. And they play the audio of him saying no. And I've got it. And I'm going to play it for you. Apparently he just wants it to go away. And you probably know what it is. And we'll play it when we come back. The words in your mouth. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com.
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This report is brought to you by Allstate. Back to school costs adding up. Switch to Allstate where agents can help you save money and be better protected dollar for dollar. Nobody protects you like Allstate. On the 56 in both directions between the 5 and the 15, traffic just starting to slow a bit. Also through Escondido, you'll find a backup on the 15 southbound between Valley Parkway and Center City Parkway. La Mesa Dragon on the 125 southbound between Amaya Drive and the 8. This report also brought to you by USAA. USAA's commitment to serving the financial needs of the military vets and their families that's now closer to home. Visit the new USAA Financial Center at Fenton Marketplace. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fries. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I want filth. I want straight filth. As filthy as it can get. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Something's in the air tonight.
There was a lady yesterday that was driving down the 8 by Sports Arena Boulevard, flipped over, 7 o'clock in the morning. And they don't know why. They don't know what caused it. But she's okay. She climbed out of there on her own. She just couldn't climb up the mountain because there was a bunch of mud down there. That happened yesterday. And then they found out that 10 of the fires that have been... Ten of the fires that we've had here in San Diego County this year have been caused by people going out there and target practicing with guns. Brilliant. Yeah, they're using steel tip bullets, which they're hotter. And they know that it was coming from a .45 caliber carbine, M4. And so they said if you're out there, be very careful. They just want to remind people, be really careful if you're out there. You're target shooting. You're having a good time, but it could be lighting fires. What's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Oh, yeah. Well, the Padres did not get it done last night. They lost in extra innings, lost in the 10th to the Mets. Former Padre Scott Hairston knocked in the game-winning RBI, which is never fun. But they will go again tonight at 7.05. It is Jonathan Neese against Corey Lubke, who is...
The future, one of the pieces of the future of this franchise. This kid's been pitching really, really well. Four and six with a .309 ERA, and he's a really solid left-handed pitcher. Get out and check him out sometime. Also, this was a sad story, but kind of interesting. The Packers went to meet President Obama on Monday, right? Yeah. Well, their linebacker, Desmond Bishop, didn't quite get to join his teammates. He had forgotten his ID. Oh. I guess back in the team hotel. Yeah. Like his wallet? I guess. And they were checking IDs, and they're like, sorry, dude, you don't have your ID. You can't come in. Everyone's like, no, no, no, he's good. He's with us. He's back. Right, right. Sorry. He's the president of the United States. You don't have an ID. You're not getting in. Guy had to take a nap on the bus. Oh. Can you imagine? Oh, my gosh. That would happen to me or LLB. I could see that happening. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Oh, that would be awful. Because in your head, you're like, in a few moments, I'm going to be meeting the president of the United States. I'm going to shake his hand. I'm going to shake his hand. In a couple of minutes, like it's going to happen. Oh, maybe not. You're sitting there texting friends on the bus. Yeah. What are you doing today? What are you doing? He's ripping the mic. I'll be meeting the president. Okay. So Wheel of Pain at 730. And the word of the day is powder. Now, this was Charlie Sheen. He's doing entertainment tonight.
And they wanted him to record some promos. And this is what happened. You'll never guess who's back at work. Next E.T. Could I get a winning? Never. Retired winning. Kind of get rid of that. It's retired. He didn't want to say winning. Winning. Winning. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like people talking about it. He doesn't want to do it anymore. One goes in your mouth. That's probably all he got, right? Yeah. He'd walk. Anywhere, winning, winning, winning. Yeah. I mean, you bring it on yourself. You think he's okay? We haven't heard from him. He's got a new show coming out. I mean. You think he's still up to his same antics? I think that whole thing was a display of crazy on purpose. Yeah? Yeah. I just saw an article that he hosted the Insane Clown Posse.
event that they do yeah it's crazy event and uh he got cheers of approval from them which is hard to do because they light everybody up i guess tila tequila did she did it last year and then she just got ripped to pieces he actually got poop at her yeah it's a true story yeah it is and so they went back and were like really yeah uh so lob you think it was all a ruse i think i mean i think also the drugs didn't hurt But I don't think that he actually lost his mind. I think it was all part of one big scheme. Yep. I think he was addicted to drugs. Yeah. I think it was pounds of cocaine. Yeah, and if you're that jacked up on drugs, I don't think you think clearly enough to be that planned out. I don't know. Man. He's just been doing this. He's had that lifestyle for so long, you know? I mean, he's always just kind of been in and out, in and out. And, you know, you always hope for the best, that he's going to have a successful show. But he's kind of a loose cannon, dude. 570-1949 is our number. You guys want to play Why Are We Here? Sure. Okay, here's how it works. We reach into this. We're going to pull out a couple of names. And then we're going to pull out a location. And it's going to tell us who we're going to do first. Who the voices will be. Because we do voices here on the Mikey Show. And then a random location.
And then we have to decide, well, why are we here? You know, if the random location, for instance, is a circus, why are we at the circus together? And again, these are some of the voices that we do. All right, I'm reaching into the people basket. The first voice is Mr. Neil Diamond. Oh, yeah. All right. And the next voice, I don't want to do two. Please. Ah, it's Miley Ray Cyrus. Miley Ray Cyrus? I thought it was Billy Ray Cyrus. I don't know if my nickname is like Ray. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay, wait. Let me get the location. Where are they going to be? Miley Ray Cyrus. I'm tripping on this right now. Miley Ray Cyrus? Jay put it in there. That's her name.
Look at that look. Look at that look. I'll do it later. I know it's Billy Ray. I know it's Billy Ray Cyrus. Miley Ray Cyrus? This is a J-ism, I think. Okay. Maybe not. The two of them are at a cheering football stadium. Freaking thing of popcorn around here. Oh my God, you've like a dress on and stuff. Who the hell are you? Miley Ray Cyrus. I thought it was just Miley Cyrus. I'm not even sure anymore if, like, I don't know if, like, my publicist, like, changed it or if, like, the producer of, like, the show, like, changed it or something, but I'm Molly Cyrus. And you like USC? Um, I don't even know. I like beers and I like college guys. You're in a freaking bikini. Yeah, I'm partying in the USA, like. What are you, some sort of a hooker? Is that it? I'm a musician, just like you, Mr. Diamond. I am a musician, but I don't hook. I'm not a hook.
Listen, between you and I, how much? For what? A beer? I don't know. You're wearing a bikini. Obviously, you're a prostitute. No, I'm just, I like parties. You're fully made up. Your head's all done. I'm like a celebrity and stuff. Hi, y'all. Hi. Thank you. Keep your voice down. People are getting mad. They're cheering for me. They're not cheering for you. They're cheering for the Trojans. Speaking of Trojans, do I have to? Why? I have to wear one. Oh, sure. For what? Listen, it's very clear what your line of work is. My question is, how much and do I have to wear one? Do black grandkids and stuff? Love on the rocks. Yeah, did you hear that? I'm cheering for you. It's a freaking weird surprise. Is that like a nursery rhyme or something? I looked at this chick. Going to blow out my eyes. She's wearing next to nothing. Keep a lot going and stuff. All right, listen. Yeah. I know a friend that has a van. He could be here in five minutes. Oh, cool. Get like a DD or something? No, we're not going to take a joy ride, you filthy ape. We're going to do it. Now listen to me, you little filthy champ. How old are you? I think I'm like 17 or something. That's a lie. First of all, that's a lie.
I was married to a woman who looked like you. She was 47 years old. So don't try to tell me that you're a youngster. I can tell by looking. First of all, you're wearing a bikini. We had a guy come over to my house and stuff, and they said his name was like Great Uncle Simon or something. What the hell is the matter with your nose? Have you been doing... Have you got cocaine? No, I do salvia. That's it. Salvia? Yeah. You're telling me, what do you do with it? You smoke it, snort it, what do you do? I smoke it. You smoke saliva. You dirty champion. What the hell is going on around here? Why are we here? Why are we here? Oh, my gosh. Upstanding. Neil Diamond and Miley Ray. Yeah, Woods is going to look it up. He's going to look it up. I have to wear one. Woods is going to look it up. I'm losing my mind. It says right here. What does it say, Jay? It says Miley Ray Cyrus. What is it? Yeah, what is it? That's a piece of paper I wrote on. She was born Destiny Hope Cyrus. But Jason R. Isbell changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus. Yeah, Miley Ray Cyrus. It is. But she was born Destiny Hope. But she never goes by Miley Ray Cyrus. Well, you would hope not.
Because her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeah, because her dad's saying Frankie Brady Hart. Why would you name her Destiny Hope and give Miley Ray? Because they thought she was going to be a stripper. Yeah, fair enough. Well, close enough. Close enough. They give her a name like Destiny Hope. Got an email for you, and you call us. You tell us what you think. This email says, Mikey, I've always been into blondes, and every girl I've ever dated has been a blonde, including my girlfriend. But last week, she decided to change her hair color. Now she's dark brunette. Her hair is so dark, it's almost black. She loves her hair, but I find her to be less attractive, and I'm losing interest. Should I tell my girlfriend that I liked her better as a blonde? M1 Jeremy. Yes. Yes. No. Should I tell my girlfriend I liked her better as a blonde? Well, I think that if that's what made you love her, First of all, I think it was, don't you guys think it was kind of jacked that she didn't talk to him before she did that? I would. 100%. I would too. That's her boyfriend. They're not married. You don't have to clear everything. Yeah, you do. You need to say, babe, I'm thinking about making my hair black. I think it's just a fun surprise. Girls do this.
I've dyed my hair brown a couple different times. I'm going to do it again. Well, yeah, but you don't give your boyfriend, Matt Karmusch, the heads up? I tell him. I don't ask him. Yeah, you've got to give him the heads up. And if he didn't like Brunette, wouldn't you rather he told you? If I were that guy, if I were M1 Jeremy, I would wait for the question to come your way. Wait until she asks. She didn't. You just offer it up. She didn't because she did it. Now she's brunette. She loves it. If she says, do you like it like this or do you like me better, blonde. Oh, now see what a bad position. That's a setup. But then he can be honest with her, but he shouldn't just. She's having fun with it now. Don't just offer it up because now she's stuck with it for a little while. Well, for every lady listening that would do it that way, I'm telling you, it's called a setup. Oh, boy. You need to ask permission is what you need to do. No, you don't. Well, I'm not saying you need that, but. You got to give a heads up. Otherwise, you're going to be even more pissed after you go through the process. It's not a face transplant. It's a hair color. Okay. You can't. Okay, fine. Let's say you go. Hey, I don't have to tell you every time. What? I got to tell you if I have to go to the bathroom, too. Okay, fine. You take that. You can take that stance. But what are you going to do? He doesn't like it. I guess it's not the right guy for you. Yeah. Isn't it more important what's on the inside? Oh, you're such a douche.
How? How dare you? Can't stick it out through a box of dye? Oh, wow. What are you going to do when I get cancer? Knock on wood. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Cross that road when we get to it. It shows your character. Can you stick it out or not, pal? Apparently not. It's hair color. Just pretend like she's somebody else for that couple months. Get freaky. I'm shocked at what I'm hearing. Cancer thing got me. Because it's a little hardcore over a... It's a little hardcore. To compare cancer? It was a little over the top. Oh, you mean to compare terminal cancer? Yep. What are you going to do when I get terminal cancer? With L'Oreal? Is that what you're saying, Woods? Is that you thought it was harsh for her to compare terminal cancer with a box of L'Oreal? Okay, all I'm saying is the older we get, the harder life gets. Curveballs get thrown. Life doesn't get easier. It only gets harder. Yeah, so why make it harder by not giving a heads up? It's testing the waters. So when her hair turns gray.
You're out. No. It's natural, though. Hey, she didn't ask you. It just happened. She's not blonde anymore. Well, yeah, because she didn't have a control over that. Well, at that point, I'm 70. I don't really care anyway. But listen, how are you going to get mad at your boyfriend for not liking something? You didn't even give the... 570-1949. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. You're not crazy. Minus the maybe. Yeah. You're not crazy, dude. You have every, you know, if she comes home and she looks like freaking Christina Ricci, you're like, dude, what's up with the goth look? I liked you when you were a funny, cute little blonde. Thank you. What if when your hair was receding, what if Rebecca was, like, adamant about you keeping the monk, you know, hairdo? You know, she wanted what was left. First of all, first of all, he's as tactful as a rattlesnake. Mike, you know, when you're balding, right? And let's say Rebecca really liked you looking like Jason Alexander from Seinfeld. Let's say that. A monk. A monk, Mike. You know how you look like a monk from Seinfeld? What if Rebecca had some sort of bizarre fetish for people from Seinfeld? And she didn't have the heart to tell you.
And then what if she finally did? She's like, you know what? Sorry, buddy. You shaved your head for nothing because I ain't attracted. I want fat Mexican Seinfelds. Woods got me with the Christina Ricci thing. Yeah, you were dating some cute little blonde. Then she comes home and she's Christina Ricci from Monster. Kind of got me. You're like, oh, great. That's a very, you know. I had a girlfriend in college that cut like 80% of her hair off. And she walked in. I went, oh, wow. That's different. That's a mom haircut. You're 21 years old. Yeah. And you look like your mother. I was dating a cute little blonde. And apparently now I'm dating somebody from a Tim Burton film. You know, you look like the Nightmare Before Christmas. Winona Ryder walks in. You're like, oh, God. It's the same for guys, man. Yeah, true. It's the same for guys. If you're a dude.
And you're going to shave your head? Give the heads up. I did. Yeah. What if you get frosted tips? What if I really feel like looking like A-Rod and I want to come on with frosted tips and I don't tell my girlfriend? Which, by the way, is fine. Is it? Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Frosted tips, for the record, are not fine. I'm saying it's fine to not say a word to anybody. You don't have to. But then don't get pissed when they're not attracted to you. Yeah. You got to deal with the fallout. Real good. I want my cake and eat it, too. Yeah. Real good. Give me a break. Just give the heads up. I'd rather know. I'd rather know, hey, babe, I'm not going to dig you with the frosted tips. Oh, gosh, I am glad I found out before I did that. Right. Please don't do the frosted tips. Okay, I won't. I know, I'll probably look like an idiot. Well, no, I'm going to do the frosted tips anyway. I know you don't like them, but I'm doing them anyway. And then he's not as attracted to you as before and wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Please, give me a break. No, you can adjust, though. Frosted tips aren't bad. Yeah. It was you love being told what to do. You cannot cut your hair. I do not like your hair long. I'm not saying tell him. You don't have to tell him. You've got to be able to deal with the fallout. Okay, fine. Well, Matt tells me I'm going to get my hair cut. No, I like your hair long. Don't cut it. Nope, I'm going. He goes anyway. And then when he comes back, I'm not like, ew. I'm just like, eh. Cut is different than color. What if he wanted to be a bleach blonde? I'd say he looks like an idiot, but I'd still see his face. Well, here's the deal. If you weren't attracted to him anymore because he cut his hair...
I think it'd be pretty evident that it wasn't attracted to him anymore. If he came back with blonde hair. I thought he wanted to cut it. Oh, yeah. When he cuts his hair, I don't like it as much as the long hair, but I adapt to it. I still love him. It's still him. Well, wait a minute. If my wife said I want to cut my hair and I want to cut it short, I would tell her, oh, babe, please don't. Now, the reason I would say it is because... My wife looks very young with the longer hair. Oh, yeah. You don't want to give her the Pat Benatar. I don't want her to go, you know, soccer mom on me. Now, and to all you soccer moms, I'm sorry. No offense. No offense. You know, but we're talking about making sex here. Yeah. And your wife is a young lady. Your wife is a young lady. You want her to look that way. You like the longer thing. She says, I'm thinking about cutting my hair. And I go, oh, please don't do that. I love the way it looks. And she goes, no, I'm going to do it. She goes out and she cuts her hair. Am I going to say, I don't love you anymore? For sure, no. I'm not going to. But it's a question of, like, will I be attracted to her? Will I adapt to it? Well, I don't have a choice. Of course I'll adapt to it. But I'm flat out telling you, I'm going to think you're sexy. I'm going to think you're a sexy beast without cutting that thing. I'm going to think you're a sexy beast. You want to be a sexy beast. I think hair color is different than cutting. It is. Because cutting is so... Butt cutting is pretty... Does it take so long for hair to grow out as long as Rebecca's?
Oh, gross. Weird. Gosh. Oh, wow. M1, cave dweller from Wisconsin. I'm sorry for Jay. Morning, guys. How are you doing? Good. I think that she might be getting ready to get rid of him. Yeah. Oh, because she wants to do the hair color thing? They switch it up on you, dude. Watch out. They do switch it up. Happened to me. No, I do it all the time. I think that's a passive-aggressive thing. She wants to... Because think about it. If the guy's so into blondes... He's probably told her a time or two. Yeah. And she might want to break up with him, but she doesn't want to be the initiator. No. No. No. Try to turn him off. L.O.B., you don't think so? This is what girls do. We love to mess with it. Mix it up. Mix up the hair because, oh, I've had this hair forever. Well, it looks good on you. Yeah, but I want to change it. No matter how many times even your girlfriends tell you don't do it, you still need to do it. Well, sure. It's a hear me roar thing. A lot of women wonder, well, how can my guy...
did this to me? How come my guy did that to me? Well, you don't care about him either. You do all kinds of stuff without throwing it across his desk. Throw it across my... Throw me a bone here. Throw me a bone across my desk. Put it in my inbox. Send me a text. You know, if she knew about this guy and how he felt about hair and she went ahead and did it anyway, I'm willing to bet she's trying to stir up a little bit of drama. On the other side... On the other side, if this is the kind of guy who's going to dump a girl over a hair change, then maybe she don't want to be with him anyway. True story. There you go. Yeah? That's true, too, right? Shallow. Very shallow. He could be shallow. But you like what you like. You like what you fell in love with. Does that make us shallow? I mean, I'm 40 pounds heavier than I was when I got married, I'm sure. 40. Yes, 40. Maybe 30. You're a good-looking guy, though. Yeah, fat pig. You are not! Chaz Bono. Chaz Bono. He's going to get a Friars cut before the season's through. Jamie's not going to leave him. Yeah. She would think about it. Yeah, she doesn't like it. She said she doesn't like it. He probably should have told her before. And that's what she said, right? That's exactly right. She said, I wish she'd have told me. She didn't run that by me. Yeah. Woods and everybody that smokes. Yeah. Quitting. Oh, you ain't going to like this. You ain't going to like this. Wait till you hear.
What they're trying to do in California. Weird. You're not going to like this as a smoker. You're not going to like this. And then we're going to do Wheel of Pain. Jay and Woods. Who had to do it last week? Me. You, Woodsy? Twice. That's right. You took two punishments instead of one. Instead of the hot sauce. You didn't want to do three drops of hot sauce to the tongue, so you did two punishments instead. All right, well, we'll spin the Wheel of Pain next. See what happens. Show coming up. I think we have it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. 949mikey at gmail.com. Ruh-roh. F-M-M. 94. Nine. Selection is everything during Toyota's nationwide clearance event. Right now, Toyota dealerships have the summer's best inventory and the year's biggest deals on your favorite vehicles. Now, save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car.
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Hey, it's Mikey for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Everyone thinks shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of Balboa and Convoy and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done. As long as the sun keeps shining. Online. At sunglassoptical.com. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Deep does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Deep. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Marble composition books, just 25 cents. Rulers, just one cent. Pocket folders, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late.
Expires 820. Composition books and rollers limit 5, folders limit 10. Hear the Authentic Surf Report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, and bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or a San Diego Nissan dealer today. This report brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. Well, we've got a lot of slowing this morning, really slow. I mean, it's in the teens in most spots here. On the 8 eastbound at Fairmont Avenue, there was something in the middle of the road. They did do a traffic break and removed it. The 805 northbound between Linda Vista Road, Governor Drive, it's stop and go in the teens. and the 805. Going to take you some time this morning. It again is very slow in the teens. And the drive-thru Escondido always delayed on the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. It is dragging. We're looking at the teens in all the spots there. This report brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or condo. Call 877-Wawanisa or go to WawanisaUS.com. Rate shopping. It can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by Frost Brew Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer, Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surf-wise today, seeing a continuation of that dominant south-southwesterly swell mix out there along with some secondary west-northwest windswell that's kicked up just a bit. Overall, looking at generally the same kind of height in terms of surf, waist-high, chest-tide sets on occasion, very inconsistent for those larger setways, while top spots can hit chest, shoulder-high, plus. But that is, again, primarily those areas most open to the dominant south-southwest pulse out there in the water. Coming off of a very low tide this morning, so expect some size and shape improvement throughout the day, as that tide does fill in later this afternoon. Overcast, scouts will reach a light and variable winds, really not affecting surf detectors. Water temperature fairly warm in that 64 to 66 degree range, too. Beach breaks a bit walled up. Some better sandbar corners and structured zoned areas. And top south-facing reef areas have some clean lines to them now, too. The big deal, though, is it's just so inconsistent. So bring your patience and plan on sitting. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For surfboard repair restoration needs, Joe Roper's the man right down on Marina Boulevard.
This report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning, everybody. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Woods. Don't lie to me, dude. You lie to girl, okay? You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Pain coming up in just a couple of minutes. In a little bit, L.O.B. is going to make us drink algae. Yes. We were talking about it yesterday, how L.O.B. is now drinking algae that has been skimmed off the surface of a lake in Oregon. I'm just thawing it out for you guys right now. Oh, good. Excuse me. It's not a powder. It's a real thing. It's an ice chunk of algae. Yeah, she's got to thaw it out until it turns into slushy. Right now, there's two dudes in Oregon. They are sharing a marijuana cigarette for breakfast, and they're going...
That's right. They're thousandaires. They're thousandaires. They're tens of twenties of dollars right now. Yes, they've got tens and twenties of dollars from the amount of algae that they've sold. I'm starting to feel guilty about it, though, because I'm wondering if I've disrupted the ecosystem at the lake. I bet that's true. I bet that's true. You are a freaking monster. I bet that's true. You're a lake rapist. I know. I bet it's true. I know. Can't be good. The algae's there for a reason, right? L-O-B. You really thought about that? Oh, yeah. It would have been the last thing in my head. Of course it would. Well, think about the bottled water you drink then. I don't drink bottled water. What's bottled water? He's going to come in here. He's going to come in here and he's just going to start shooting. That's why I don't drink it, Jay. You don't drink bottled water. Well, every once in a while.
M1 Robert from National Elogash. Oh, my God. He's screaming, Robert. He's screaming. Robert. You'll win when I'm not here. Oh, wow. Robert, are you okay? You there, Robert? Robert. Roberto. Yes. What was the word of the day? Powder. You won. You won. You got park hopper tickets to Legoland, brother. Hang on the line. Coke is a hell of a drug. That's right. He's very happy. Speaking of powder. All right, so before Wheel of Pain, let me tell you what you guys, if you smoke, let me tell you, let me tell you what they are thinking about doing here in California for those of you that smoke. Now, this is going to really bother a lot of people. Apparently, there is a Democrat. Here in California that wants to make a new law. Can't wait. His new law will be that you cannot smoke cigarettes in your apartment. There you go. Makes sense. Wait a minute. Yes, yes. Take it in, Woods. Does it make sense? Absolutely. You know why, Woods? Why is that, Mike? Because he says that apparently a lot of this stuff, a lot of this stuff is like secondhand smoke.
And the secondhand smoke goes through open windows and doors and shared ventilation systems. Okay. And so landlords are now going to be able to ban smoking on their properties. And Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill that was sent to him by the state Senate. That's horse ass. Alex Padilla. That's the name of the senator in Los Angeles. His bill is designed. to give families more smoke-free options. Jay, that means marijuana, too. Nope. He says that 86% of Californians don't smoke, and yet smoke-free, multifamily housing remains very rare. Great. So you've got 14% of the population that doesn't smoke. Feast. That's 86% of you that don't smoke. So why are you taking away 14%?
of the people's right to smoke where they want to in their home. Well, I think what he's saying, I don't agree with him, by the way, but I think that his point, Woods, is that you're outnumbered. As a smoker, you're outnumbered by the people that don't. But I still don't agree with him. Well, right. Am I paying rent? It's not government subsidized housing, right? I'm paying rent out of my own money? Absolutely. I should be able to do what I want. But I'm paying rent as well. That's legal. That's legal. Right. I'm not smoking in your apartment. I'm smoking in my apartment. He's saying the ventilation will carry into that. My kids are being exposed to your smoke. Go to a smokehouse. Where can I smoke? A smokehouse. I'll go to the smokehouse to smoke. Babe, I'll be back in an hour and a half. I'm going to go have a cigarette. Now I can no longer smoke in my own home if I choose to. Now, I don't smoke in my home. I smoke outside. Now, this is what I mean. And you can see clearly there are people that are behind this line of thinking. Fascists. It is not conservative. Republican thinking. No. So this will define you. You'll know. You'll say, yes, I'm a Democrat. I am a Democrat if I feel like government has more place in our lives. You're a conservative if you feel like government has less place in your lives and can't tell you more about your civil rights, more about your rights.
OK, now, if they think up new laws, if new laws are coming into effect where they say the law wasn't this before, we're going to make the law this now. That is a very that's a very liberal. And I understand some people believe that's a good idea. That's a good idea. It's progress. It's progress. A lot of people see this as progress. That's cool. That's cool. I think Jay sees it as progress for sure. Right. Absolutely. For fascists. Me, I say, you know, hey, listen, come on. I mean. Get out of my hair. I'm in my own home with the doors shut. I can smoke a cigarette if I shoot. Why don't I just let the teachers smoke in the classroom then? Why would they do that? They used to. They used to smoke in buildings. We used to say, how are you doing? We don't anymore. I don't pay rent to go to school. That was a law that they changed. Would you want them to be able to smoke here in the studio, Becky? Well, wait a minute. I don't know. And you used to be able to smoke in the studio. You used to be able to smoke everywhere. You used to be able to smoke everywhere. My doctor smoked while he was looking at you. Let's do that heart there. And when I first started in radio, you could smoke in the studio. Yeah. See, that's hideous to me as a smoker. That's hideous. Well, that's the same progression that we were going through. Yes. Now, here's the deal. If there was smoking allowed in here, I wouldn't let you smoke. Right. Because I wouldn't want to breathe in your smoke. Right. And I wouldn't smoke.
There were people that were on the radio shows back then when you could smoke in there, and they were, you know, whoever the morning guy was, if he smoked, there was going to be smoke in there. If he didn't smoke, there wasn't going to be smoke in there. So you must be a Democrat. No, no, no. I'm a Republican. Are you sure? Because you just said— I'm a conservative. I don't want more. You said there's too many laws in there, so— Well, what do you mean? You just said that if you're a Democrat, if you want more laws, and this is one law that came into effect that affects what we do now today. Well, yeah, I'm not saying I agreed with the law. I'm not saying I agreed with it. I'm saying that's the way it used to be. I know, but the law wasn't in effect at one point, right? Well, it's different what you could tell somebody to do in a workplace as opposed to where they pay rent or where they pay their bills. I mean, that's where I live. That's where I sleep. Same thing if it's affecting the other people in the dwelling. And you don't own it. Yeah, you're renting it. You don't own it. I'm still paying. It doesn't matter. It's my home. Listen to this one. Same with a hotel. You can't smoke in hotel rooms. Listen to this one. This is M1 Mark from San Diego. Are you there, Mark? Yeah, hi. How you doing? Good. Hey, I just wanted to say that I'm in Pacific Beach, and we have problems with smokers all the time. The problem is that they don't like to smoke inside their apartments or their condos. They go outside. But the problem with that is all that smoke comes right into our place, and my 20-month-old daughter and my wife have to breathe in and inhale all that smoke.
So it sort of sucks, but HOA is actually implementing a policy where they're saying no more smoking on the premises in or outside of the unit. Wow. No common areas. Nothing like that. See, and I don't think that, and this is why I love the thought behind be different, okay? I don't think the cigarette smoke is the problem. I think that the person is the problem. OK, because we should live in a day and age where you can walk outside and go, hey, man, I got a baby here. Is it cool if you just smoke a little bit further down? And people would do that. Should do that. They would do that because they would be like, oh, sorry, man. But we live in a day and age now of entitlement where it's like, no, I'm not going to move. I'm going to move for you. So now we got to have laws that say, well, OK, person doesn't want to be moved. So we'll make a law that says you can't smoke outside. That's where we are in life. That's where we are. And so to me, it isn't the cigarette smoke. Somebody wants to smoke cigarettes. It's legal to smoke cigarettes. Go right ahead and smoke cigarettes. But problem is we're just getting more and more and more of our own stuff taken away from us. Well, now, not even in your own home, you can't smoke cigarettes. And it's legal to do. The law at one point was you could smoke in a restaurant.
Whipping right up next to you and smoking a cigarette in a restaurant? No, but even when I wasn't a... Listen. The smoking section. I was a smoker. Not always. I was a smoker, and when the no-smoking laws came around, I said, ah, what are you going to do, man? The people have spoken. Yeah, you go outside. What are you going to do? People have spoken again. As long as we vote on it. Yeah, let's vote. I don't know that... You know, I never heard about this. It's a law, but I don't remember anybody being up for vote. And I would think that's fair, man. You know, I would think that's fair. This was just something that came up and sent it to Jerry Brown, our governor's desk. He signed it, and now it's the law. I'm sorry. I'm off for it. All right. All right. Let's do some Wheel of Pain. Let's get in here. We are going to ask band names to Woods and to Jay. All right. Now, if they can tell whether this band is fake or real, then they'll be fine. But if they can't, they're screwed. LB, you got score? Mm-hmm. Here we go. You ready, L.O.B.? Yep. All right, who are we starting with? My turn. Yeah, Jay's turn. Jay. All right, Jay, we start with you, and you've got to tell me whether this band is real or fake. The band is Ola Bebe. It's real. I should have known it said Ola. Yeah. Spanish is in there, pal. The street meets Woods. It's real. I made it up. He says it with such conviction, I believe him. Jay Boat.
It's got to be real. It is real. There's one. Woods. Tiger's jaw. It's fake. It's a real one. I suck at this game so bad. Jay. I'm afraid of this one. Honest Gables. Fake. It is fake. I made it up. Why are you afraid of it? He was trying to trick you. Oh, it didn't work. Woods. Yes. Big Daddy Weave. It's fake. It's real. Jay, no, no, yes. That's real. Oh, it needs one more. Oh, boy. Jay has three. I'm sorry. No, no, yes, I made up. Yes. Yes. All right. Jay has two. Wait, wait, wait. Jay, Jay, Jay. Hang on. Hang on. I want to make sure. I want to make sure. It sounds like a real band. Hang on. Hang on. Yeah, I made it up. Okay. All right. I made it up. All right, two.
I can do this. Are we tied? No, no. No, no, no. Jay has two. Woods has none. Who's up, Jay? Or Woods? No, I'm up. You're up. Woods, uber social. It's real. It is real. Got one. Now what? Keep going. We got to keep going? Oh, yeah. Because that was eight. All right. Are you ready? Are you ready, Jay? Yes. High flight society. You're a kook. Why am I attacking you? I'm going to say it's fake. It's real. It's real. Woods. Comey Danza. That's fake. That's correct. I made it up. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Jay, one minute halo. I'm going to say it's real. It is. Damn it. Woods. Yep. The colony. It's fake. It's real. Woods. Come on. Come on. Jay, the litters. Real. I made it up. So close. Woods, stop the cargo.
It's real. I made it up. I made it up. You can't get one right. Jay, group one crew. It's fake. It's real. Dang it! Woods, day matter. It's real. I made it up. That's it. Is that it? Jay has three. Woods has two. I lose. Winner. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Holy cow, Jay keeps winning this game. I used them all. I used every single one of them. I was sticking with the real, real, real. We have in front of us the wheel of pain. Dodgeball hit. Or three days with black fingernail polish. Or three hippity hop hits. Or duct tape wax jobs on your chest. Or three shots from a BB gun.
Or three shots from the dog collar. Three shocks from the dog collar. Three drops of hot sauce. Or three bag tag shots. Woods. Yep. You're the victim. As usual. Here we go. Spin that SOB. Spinning it, spinning it, spinning it, spinning. And it is. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Three. No, it isn't. Look. Three shocks from the dog collar. Oh, okay, from this angle. It looks like something else. It's three shocks from the dog collar. Oh, wow. Oh, no, wrong one. Oh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. No. Why did you get to do it? I don't trust you. I get to head out the page. Yes, he does. I do. Do you trust him? I didn't get to spin the wheel. You don't get to get the pain. He always punishes. Jay. I can't do that. All right, Jay. I can't do that. Listen to me. I will behave. I promise.
It's going on number three, and that hurts plenty. That's plenty. Jay, if you abuse this, you're never going to get to do it again. I will behave. I can't do this. You can't do it. It won't kill you. The other one might have sent you to the hospital. The other one would have made you throw up. Woods just mouthed something dirty. Here, will you just hit it? Let me see it. Let me see it. I want to feel it. Let me feel it. We have a dog collar. It trains dogs. So bad. I'll throw up. It trains dogs. I'm going to throw up. And these men are going to wear it. Get that dump button ready, dude. I'm telling you. This is my number one. Oh, gosh. This is my number one. What's going on, Jay? This is my number one. This is Woods' number one thing. Oh, look at that thing. Gosh. I'm sweating. That is meant for a... Please don't work. Is it working, Jay? Want me to try on this one? I can't get either one of them to come on.
Really? It's too bad. It sucks. Maybe they're out of batteries. But they're brand new. I know. That's too bad. Maybe they were left on. It's probably break, though. No, this has got a battery lighting up. It's lighting up this little light. Yeah, this thing's got to turn on, though. This guy. Let me see that. Let me see that. This is two. It's too bad. Oh, this is number two? And let's see if it's working. Yep, it's got a red light. Messing with dog collars. You might have to hold this down. Let me hold this down. I think you might have to hold it down for a second. It won't work. It's not working. I'll put a new battery in it. That's not working. I'll take a break and we'll put a new battery in it. It's not working. I'm going to put a new battery in and we'll take a break. What? It's not working. Well, no matter what, we have to take a break. So when we come back, we'll have it fixed. And Woods will be doing the Wheel of Pain. This was the one that he was hoping would never come up. Yep. This is number one on the list. I don't like shocks. It's when we come back. You got something worth adding to The Mikey Show? Thanks, Nostradamus. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. No. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. There he is, the Prince of Canada. Mikey. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's only $29 a month, and it's six months. It's got a DVR included. And if you order today, you get up to 182 channels of HBO and Cinemax for free for three months.
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94 westbound, there is an accident. A truck hit the center divider rail many times. Now it's up on the rail, and obviously it's starting to smoke. This report brought to you by CarMax. Selling your car is easy at CarMax. They'll give you a written offer. It's good for seven days, whether you buy a car from them or not. CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom. Nobody want to go with me. Lauren. I'm a control freak. If I watch other people do things that I'd rather do, I'm like... Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. So Chris went to CBS to get batteries. You guys just say this. You delight in the pain of others. If you'd like, we can spin the wheel again. I'd love it. All right. I'm fine with that. You can do it for next time. Jay. Should we spin the wheel? He's on the phone with the manufacturer trying to get it fixed. Literally. We just got this thing two months ago. I need to shock this guy. Bad. Yeah. He can't keep skirting the issue. Hot sauce. Well, Chris is at Ralph's now. He will have batteries and we will be lighting you up momentarily.
Probably just spin it again. Do you want to do... I'll do two. Do two again? Yeah, I'll do two. For continuity's sake. Two that I get to pick. For continuity's sake. I'll just pick two then. Ooh. What do you think about that, Woods? You want him to pick two? Yeah, that's fine. We got to take those off, too. Because it's bad if we have them come up and we're like, ah, I don't want to do that. I want to do two. We got to take them off. What? We do. Oh, you know what he's going to pick? He's going to wax my chest with duct tape. Which, that ain't happening. So, let's just spin the wheel again. No, I'm saying if you want to... I didn't skirt it. I didn't break the thing. Well, he's getting batteries right now. Okay, okay. That's continuity's sake. You know, people are waiting. Well, they wait a little longer. For the sake of good radio. I don't know what... See, that's the thing. I don't know what to do because I feel like you're genuinely upset and don't want to do the... Oh, no, I'm fine with it. If it works, I'm good. If it works, I'll do it because that's what it lands on. But, you know, continuity's sake. I would say at 8.30... Today, tune back in, and we're going to be lighting Woods up. But then that would be the second week that it landed on something, and you're like, I don't want to do that. No, I'm doing it. No, then we, you know what I mean? Then we go to you doing two other ones. No, no, no. I'll do the shot caller. It just doesn't work. It just doesn't work, which ain't my fault. And I was just saying.
For good radio's sake and continuity's sake. Oh, there's other stuff we could do, though. Yeah. Oh, okay. And we have other stuff on the schedule at 830, so let's just, when Chris gets back. Maybe we just forget about it. Now, when Chris gets back, we'll just pop them right in. I mean, there's nothing on there I'm going to look at and go, oh, hell yes. I can't wait to do that. But, you know, it's a wheel of pain. You got to do what you got to do. I don't. The hot sauce will put me in the hospital. I mean, it will knock me out. Really? Yeah. Yeah, really. You're fragile. A little bit when it comes to that stuff. Ice fever. He's a dead man. Oh, man. Oh, man. See, that's why I don't trust him to have control of that thing. He shouldn't have control. He'll put it to 10. Jay, listen. Your words are worth a nickel. No, my word is gold. I don't want you messing with that. He will. I will not. He's going to. It doesn't have to go above three because three is plenty. I know. I'm with you. I can't imagine that a dog was able to take 10. Oh, my gosh. If you do that to your dog, you're a freaking monster. Well, your dog must be as big as, like, A brontosaurus if you could use Ted. You're a monster. Okay, all right. Well, you know, what are you going to do? Mikey Show, hello. Hang on a second. Everything's going on. All right, let's do this. Finish this sentence. I probably have a chick by now. I'm just not willing to stop blank.
I'd probably have a chick by now if I was just willing to stop blank. Now, that could be collecting baseball cards. But I'm not. I'm not willing to stop. It could be I'm not willing to stop hanging out with this particular friend. And you go, no, I'm not going to. He's my friend. Forget it. She don't like him. She can kick rocks. Maybe that's your deal. But call us right now. 570. $1.94.9. I'd probably have a chick by now if I was just willing to stop blank. Hmm. Saving your toenail clipping. That's a good one. Eating your boogers. For me, it would have been eating, you know. Eating. Just eating. I could have said many times, I'd probably have a chick by now if I was just willing to stop eating. Or overeating. Yes. That's what I mean. If I was just willing to put the burrito down. Burritos. Walk away.
Burritos. Yes. And walk away. But I wasn't. Drinking. Yes. Drinking enormous amounts of alcohol to the point of blacking out. Probably could have had a chick. Yep. Living with my parents. Yes. Good one. Yes. Those are the types of things. 570-1949. You're filling in the blank. I probably could have had a chick by now if I was just willing to stop blank. Mikey Show. You could probably have a chick by now if you're willing to stop what? Mikey, hi. Could you say the question again? Yes, I could probably have a chick by now if I was just willing to stop what? Let me preface this. I'm a good friend of Tanya Kelly's. I believe your wife is good friends with her. How you doing? I'm a student at Palomar Radio Television. Good. Tanya who? Tanya Kelly Jurchenko. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How you doing, buddy? I'm a fellow believer. I would say if I would stop hanging out with my best friend about 10 years ago, I would still be with this girl, but she was psycho. So it was a good thing. Yeah. Well, then you probably made the right move. Yeah. I think so. I think she's probably got some issues she can't commit. And I was too much into my faith at the time. I just got back from Bosnia. I'd seen a lot of stuff, and I worked with orphanages there. So God really changed my heart. And I come home, and she wants this relationship, and she was really cool.
But she was also a little crazy, so. Got it. For sure. It happens. M1 Rick from La Mesa. I could probably have a chick by now if I was just willing to stop what? Hanging with my ex. If you're willing to stop hanging with your ex. Now, what do you mean by that? Well, you know, like if I hadn't, you know, if I don't, like if I don't hang out with my ex so much, it'd probably be easier for me to like get a girl or. Yeah. I don't know. Girls probably turned off by hanging out with your ex so much, you know? 101. Well, yes. 101, my friend. They are. That's 101. Now, a lot of times what people will do is they will do the thing where they say, well, they're my friend. Yeah. We're friends. We're good friends. We're best friends. Do you do that bit? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, she's cool, and I don't want to, like, not hang out with her, but it's probably a turnoff. Yes. Minus the probably.
Definitely. Definitely minus the probably. And it's not going to get any better. I'm telling you right now, from experience, Rick, it doesn't get any better. You have to drop the ex as the buddy because no new girlfriend is going to be down with it. Yeah, you're right. How long ago, well, first of all, how long were you in the relationship with the girl? How long we were together? Yeah, when you guys were together. Yeah, a good six months. Six months. It's not a long time, but it's still enough. Listen, if you were with her six days, no new girl is going to be down with it. As long as she's qualified as an ex, then you're screwed. Then it ain't going to happen. And you're just keeping her around for a JIC. Yeah. Just in case. Just in case. That's what we call it. Jay is frantically holding up the number three. I don't know that. Oh. He says on line three is his ex. How do we know it's his ex? Who's ex? Rick's ex. Oh.
How do we know? Is your ex named Angela? Yeah. Hi, Angela. Hi. Hi. Yeah, this is Angela, and I am Rick's ex, I guess. I didn't even know that. You didn't know that you were his ex? No, absolutely not. How do you not know if you're somebody's ex? You're dead. We never talked about it. We've had a discussion about taking things a bit slower. I had no idea that he wanted a chick. I mean, I had no idea we were broken up. None whatsoever. Okay. Well, then how would you fill in this, Angela? I'd probably have a chick by now if I was just willing to stop playing. What? He's my douchebag boyfriend. I don't know. Bye to you. Holy cow. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Maybe I'm misunderstanding. I don't think you are. I don't think you are. Someone's misunderstanding here. You, Angela, you are his ex-girlfriend? As of five seconds ago, I was his girlfriend. The one and only. I didn't realize that I was a time filler. This is as new to me as it is to you.
Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick. Help us figure this out. Because I'm really confused. We, like, stopped dating. And then we, like, took it easy. And we haven't spoken in, like, a week. So, hey. A week? Oh, my God. So what? We're both busy. I didn't realize that not talking for a week meant we were broken up and you wanted to see other people. We never talked about this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's starting to click. Rick, you believe that you were broke up because you said you were going to take time off? Yeah, we talked about taking it easy and stuff. And you haven't talked to her for a week? Yeah. And you were thinking, I could probably date a new person if I didn't stop hanging out with my ex. Because you really like her. Yeah. But she didn't know that you were an ex. She thought you guys were taking time off. She didn't know you wanted to date other people either. No. Right. She just found out. Just now. Trying to grand scheme shade away. Yeah, I'm gathering that. Oh, my gosh. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. So, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Angela. Angela. Angela. Angela. So, you're, you're, are you in a car right now? Yeah.
Okay, so you're driving, you're listening to The Mikey Show, you're hearing this, and all of a sudden, Rick, your boyfriend, is on the air, and he says, I'd probably have a chick by now if I didn't stop hanging out with my ex. And you're like, oh, that must be what the time off meant. Yeah, I practically swarmed into the next lane and got into an accident. I couldn't even believe it. I was like... I was so shocked. I can't even believe it's happening right now. Rick, Rick, why didn't you say... We were just friends, right? I thought we were just, like, going to be, like, friends for a little while. We never said that. All we said was we were just going to take things a bit slower. How does that translate to we're broken up and you want another kick? Oh, wow. And then I'm doing a time filler for you. Oh, wow. Are you... Rick, how did you do that? How did it happen like that? How do you not break up? Well, when you break up, you just break up. You go, hey, it ain't working out. Or maybe he did do that. He said, we're taking time off. Well, he did. He broke up. But that's not breaking up. Maybe she's the one that's... She's delusional. No, no. Here's the deal. He wanted a break. Yeah. They were on a break. Yeah. Okay. But she thought...
Time apart doesn't mean time with other people. Time apart means time apart. Yes. That's the difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in his mind, he's like, I'm taking a break so I can go out and slay other chicks. Well, wait, wait, wait. When you take a break, you're broke up. No, you're not. You're not. No, you're taking a break. You're not broken up. It's a gray area. Now, listen, I've used that. I've used said gray area many times in my career. Maybe we all misunderstand. Then maybe this is the time where we put this into law. You know, we make it a law. When we're on a break, what does that mean? If he said, hey, listen, we need to take a break, that does not mean, hey, listen, we're in a committed relationship with one another. It means the opposite. It means the opposite. Obviously, it means the opposite. It means we're not going to hang out with each other and talk every day because in order to clear my thoughts and see how I feel about you, I need to step away from you altogether. Clearly, this dude digs her because he wouldn't be calling us saying, oh, I could get another chick, but I'm still really good friends with this girl, Angela, who she's driving going, ex, what? This is weird. Are they still on the line? Yeah. Did you guys call each other boyfriend and girlfriend? Yeah. I mean, I did. I don't know what he was doing behind my back, but I could do it with my boyfriend. And you never had a, we're breaking up, it was just a break? Oh, boy.
I think it's her, though, that didn't get it. He said, we're on a break now. It's a break, Mike. It's a break, not a break up. That's why in the Friends, we were on a break. They were on a break, but she thought, wait, we were just having a little cool-down period. You went out and slept with the girl from the copy place? You can't do that, Roz. Well, he didn't say he slept with her. No, I didn't say it. Oh, gosh. Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to let you talk, Rick, because you're the one that feels that you... You felt you were broken up. Explain why you felt you were broken up. This is the greatest call I've ever had. No question. We talked about it like a week ago, and it was like, hey, we're going to take it easy. And I was like, cool, we're going to take it easy. And then we didn't talk for days. So I was like, okay, we're not. Broken up. Whose idea? We're not doing anything right now. Yeah, whose idea was it to take the break? Yours? Yeah. I said, you know, because she was like, well, we're busy. I don't know if we have time to see each other. I said, why don't we just take a break for a little while? Well, that means break up for a little while. I mean, yeah. You can't just break up for a little while and go and slay other people. You can't. What does take a break mean then? Take a break is stupid. It never works. Yeah, it never works. I've tried it. It really, it means you're going to like step outside the relationship and I can't.
I can't think with you there all the time. I can't think about because immediately it feels nice, but I need to think about how it feels without you. I've never had a girl tell me that we're on a break and I thought we were still committed. Never. Guys do the break bit so that they can sleep with other women. Women will say, I need to take a break so they can actually step back and think, is this the right guy for me? Meanwhile, they're not sleeping with anybody else, but you're like... We're on a break. I can do whatever I want. Okay, I need all women and all men to know. If we say we're on a break, we're going to have sex with other girls. Usually, that's what it means. No. Women... Finally, usually. Yes, and men need to know if a woman says we're on a break, they really mean it. Sometimes. Now, they could go out and slay, but most of the time, they are actually sitting thinking about your relationship while you're out doing your thing. Angela, why did you think that you were still in a committed relationship if he said that you were taking a break? Here's the thing. Okay, the word break actually never happened. We simply...
said, let's slow things down. We were both really busy. I just got a new job, and it was more like, okay, we're not going to be able to see each other that much, so let's just slow things down, you know, so there's no hurt feelings if we can't spend every waking minute with each other. At least that's the way I understood it. We weren't having problems. We were happy. It was just we got busy. And so right now you're listening and you hear Rick say, I'd probably have another girl if it wasn't for my ex because I'm still friends with her. Well, that's good news. At least you guys are friends. Well, that hurts on a few different levels. One, she didn't know she was an ex. Two, she didn't really know that Rick had an interest in getting another chick. Yeah, and now she's in the friend zone? Now she's a friend? She's like, I thought this was my boyfriend that I just wasn't talking to for a week. Well, isn't that strange, though? A boyfriend that you don't talk to for a week? That doesn't make sense. Not when you're on a break, though. What? That's the purpose of a break? Breaks need to end. Breaks need to end. Breaks need to stop. No, because you don't want to fully break up because then you might lose her. Yeah, you just want to take some time apart. Let me see this. Gather your thoughts. Angela? Yeah? I'm sorry that you heard that. And Rick, I...
I don't understand Rick. I don't understand Rick, but I don't understand Angela either. It sounds like Rick is still looking to party, and I think, Angela, you should move on. Oh, well, she has no choice now. Yes. She has to. She has to. They're not going to reconcile under my watch. It ain't happening. So we're not going to be friends and stuff? Are you kidding me? I don't want to speak to you again as long as I live. What? But we're... They're young. They've got to be young. How old are you, Angela? 26. How old are you, Rick? 24. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Sorry about that. Jay just got an email. That was not me. Apologize. Jay just got an email. I'm sorry. Jay got an email. Blop, blop. Oh, awkward. Sorry. He's already laughed. Angela, I'm very sorry.
I'm very sorry. I'm very, very sorry. Thank you. It's not your guys' fault. All right. I'm going to let you go, Angela. Go out and get some revenge booty tonight. No. Yeah. Do it. Get some, Angela. Do it. Thank you, Angela. Rick, if you're going to break up, break up, bro. Yeah. I'm real confused. I am, too. Makeup sex. No. Don't you dare. Make that call. Just slink away, Rick. Oh, Angela, don't listen. Sounds like you can get a new chick now, Rick. No problem. Thanks for the call, Rick. Oh, gosh. Awkward. What a train wreck. Jay was throwing me the three. And I'm like, three? Three what? Frantic. And he's frantic. He's like, Tate Land 3! I had 22 things going on. Chris was out of the studio. Tate Land 3! I never want to speak to him.
For as long as I lived, she said. That was kind of immature. Was it? That's why I thought she was young. But wait, you hear a guy go, my ex-girlfriend. That's not your ex. I know. She didn't know. They leave the conversation with him looking all like, I just didn't know, man. And her seeming all bitter and crazy. Yeah, she's not bitter and crazy. She thought they were together. Yeah. He said, let's slow things down. He kept saying. Betty's on the radio talking about how he could meet new chicks and it wasn't for her. He kept saying this bit. I just thought we'd take it easy for a while. Now, listen, break may not be defined. You know what's really not defined? Take it easy for a while. Yes. That's not defined. I know who that guy is. Oh, I was never okay with ambiguity. I need to know where we stand, what we are, what's going on. Guys always play the, like, I just didn't know. It's a good bit. I was with Kato, man. We're friends. We went to the... Drive-thru. I didn't know. I didn't know. I hate that part. Somebody said, OJ, you can't double murder, man. And I was like, what? Nobody told me. No one said anything to me, man. I thought it was okay. Guy driving my car. I'm in a... Yeah, guy was driving my car. Oh, man. So can I go? I'm free to go, right? We got the shot caller fixed. Did we?
And so when we come back, Woods will get shot from the dog collar. Take me here. Oh, wow. This Mikey show, Face Your Fear Day? Oh, wow. Bring the devil in for you. Just bring cheesecake in for Jay. Cool, man. Just sweating. Jay's afraid of cheesecake. I'm afraid of the devil. You got something worth adding to the Mikey show? This is what they do. Number one. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. If we have any children, please step out. Or call Mikey now. Are you trying to make this sound bad? Because it sounds great. 570-1949. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM. Hey there, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight. Death Cab for Cutie are in town. They'll play Remake Arena.
Frightened Rabbit will open. Friday night, 311 and Sublime with Rome are at Cricket Wireless. Company of Thieves hit the belly up on the 24th. You can see Butthole Surfers at 4th and B on the 26th. And Fitz and the Tantrums will do a 4 o'clock Friday at the Del Mar Racetrack September 2nd. Ben Harper plays the infield there September 4th. Two nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues, September 7th and 8th. And still to come this summer, the Agri-Lights with Buck 09 at the Belly Up. And about the music show with Givers. And about the music show with The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. Also, The Kills, Reverend Horton Heat, TV on the Radio and Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, Portugal the Man, CSS with Men, Liam Finn, The Naked and Famous, and The Boxer Rebellion. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 95. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America.
Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding, so see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infiniti G25 journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment, but get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details. Hi, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy, for Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Listen, my friend Lauren O'Brien is going in Friday. Yes, to get her eye surgery done. She went in, you got your free consultation, they looked at you and they said, you are a candidate. Yes, they did. So she's going in Friday. You're going to hear all about it because it changed my life. It's going to change LOB's life too. 858-452-3937 or go to www.clearvieweyes.com. I met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her entire staff and they changed my life forever. I'm really nervous. I'm sweating because I'm going to go get shocked in a couple minutes.
You know what I'm not nervous about? What? My eyes. I have perfect vision. It's the only thing on my body that's perfect. Well, almost the only thing. But give them a call today if you want a free consultation. They are going to take good care of you. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, clearvieweyes.com. The future is a potentially thrilling and wonderful place full of all sorts of automatic ways to make our lives easier. Everything from automatic dog-pitting clocks to auto jetpack washers to sock fold-o-matics. It's going to be great. But until then, it's good to know that you can start saving money automatically today. When you're ready to bring your savings into the 21st century at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With the Way to Save Savings account exclusively from Wells Fargo, you can save money automatically. If you choose our Save As You Go option, we'll automatically transfer $1 from your Wells Fargo checking account to your Way to Save account when you make a debit card purchase, pay a bill with Wells Fargo Online Bill Pay, or make an automatic payment. You can also set up monthly automatic transfers to grow your savings faster. With a WayToSave account, you also gain access to Wells Fargo online banking, online savings tools, and Wells Fargo mobile banking. To learn more about how you can get ahead with your savings with our WayToSave account, stop by Wells Fargo today. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. They massacred his family. Father! Enslaved his people. Everyone will be for me. That's the man who killed my father this Friday.
Hey, this is Jay with the Mikey Show. Join me this Thursday from 4 to 5 p.m. at Nick's at the Beach in PB. You can stop by and register to win tickets to see Arctic Monkeys with TV on the radio. We'll have two-door cinema club tickets, Company of Thieves tickets. Plus, challenge me to win tickets to see Fitz at the Tantrum at the Del Mar Racetrack. All the info is on FM949SD, but it's this Thursday, 4 to 5 p.m., Nick's at the Beach in PB. Be there. The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties. And nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo's Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot. Or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita. An experience that tastes so smooth, it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo's Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Copyright 2011. Imported and bottled by Three Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under licensed from the trademark owner. Jose Cuervo Especial is a registered trademark of Tequila.
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What's up, Scott? En route. Well, I'm not. I think my car just imploded. That was you? I just passed you. Yeah, that was me. I'm the tall, angry guy next to my car. I'll be right there. I'll buy you lunch. For some peace of mind, test drive a 3 Series at a BMW center today. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, enjoy incredible lease and finance offers of the BMW 320i Sedan. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. This report is brought to you by Massey Nissan. Massey Nissan will pay you cash for your car. Bring it in. Get an honest fare written offer today. Call 888-FMASsey. 50 Mossy, or you can go to any of their six convenient locations. Lots of slowing this morning. First of all, on the 163 northbound ramp to Balboa Avenue, there's some kind of object that's in the number four lane. The 805 northbound ramp to the 94 westbound, there's a truck there that hit the center divider rail. Looks like CHP's on the scene as well as a tow truck. And the drive through the 805 northbound between the 8 and the 52, that's stop and go. The 163 northbound, still a tough one between the 8 and the 52 in the 30s in most spots.
This report also brought to you by USAA. USAA's commitment to serving the financial needs of the military vets and their families is now closer to home. Visit the new USAA Financial Center at Fenton Marketplace. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Yeah, this is the life. Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Say what? On FM 94.9. It's time to do the Wheel of Pain punishment. Is it? This is going to be a really tough few minutes for Woodsy because not only does Woodsy have to do the dog collar. No, it goes on the front. No, it doesn't. Mikey and I did it. No, he did it on the back. He's about to do the dog collar for Wheel of Pain to pay off Wheel of Pain. Is it on three, Jay? It is on three. Don't do it. Don't do it, Jay, until we're ready to go. Get away from me.
Look, it's tight. Hey, Jay. Yes, sir. I don't want you to hit that buzzer until we're ready. Can you come over here? No, no, no. Don't test it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Sound. See if sound. Let me see. See if sound is working. Oh, my gosh. Is the sound working? Sound's working, but he took it off again. All right. Put it back on. Oh, gosh. Get away, dude. Hey, Jay. I swear. He's not. He's not, Woods. And I don't want him to yet until I say we're ready because then the audience is ready. Because the audience can't see it. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Yes, you do. You're fine. Are you ready? No. I don't want to do it. Just turn him around. Woods is like, turn away. Hey, Woods. What? I wouldn't walk because you're probably making static electricity. Oh, gosh. Yeah, don't make static electricity. You stand in one place. He's biting onto a pillow. He's a pillow biter. Yeah. I hate you. He's biting onto a pillow. We're going to shock him with a dog collar because he lost Wheel of Pain. It's on three. It's on three. Anytime. No, no more. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. He kept hitting it. I saw him. That's a lot.
Ow. Are you angry? Because I saw him kept hitting it like this. Oh, my gosh. I knew it, Mike. I knew he would overstep his mouth. I did. I pressed it. He said, you have my word. And Woods goes, your word is worth nothing. And he goes, my word is worth it. Stop it. Did you just throw grapes at him? No, I didn't. I didn't. He just threw grapes at him as hard as he could. You are a baby. Woods, sit down. How did it feel? I hate it. I hate that feeling, man. Get away. Ow, he stepped on my butt. He came in. Oh, my. He just threw. Holy cow. Holy cow. Jay is soaking wet. Liz got so scared. He threw water all over Jay. You are children. Get that thing away from him. That's not cool, dude. That's not cool. He keeps trying to give it to me. Holy cow, dude.
Still owe you one. You are children. Jay, may I interview you? Yes. Mr. Isbell, Mr. Isbell, why was it not possible for you to play by the rules? I did. He only got shocked twice. I know. I looked at him and he was going... No, I held it down. Did you or did you not shock him multiple times? Get away! Oh my gosh. One of you is going to get seriously hurt. Oh, my gosh. I know what I'm doing. Oh, my gosh. I need something. I've got her trapped in the studio now. Woods was going to run out of the studio to do something, and Jay had the shock collar in his hand. Jay. I switched seats for the day. Okay, so, Woodsy. Yes. Was it as bad as you thought it would be? Yes. Okay. It was worse than you thought it would be. Oh, boy. And so, when he...
I kept watching him hit it, too. He did it over and over because I could feel it. You're out of your mind. He did not just go... He was... See, now, Jay, you revoked your privileges. I did not do that. You said you wouldn't do that. I didn't do it. We got tape of it. I can promise you you'll see it on it. I can't wait to watch it. If you did that on that date... It is not. He's just a big baby. No, I'm not. I'm not. You're a big baby. I did it, and I took it. And he ripped... That thing off of his neck. At two. He ripped it off at two. No, more like six. Full of beans. Oh, that was great. Well, Woods, the break only gets harder for you because we do have to do the algae shot. Oh, my God. What the hell is this? What kind of show is this? The big one's for Jay. First time he's had a big one. You guys. You lived in Hillcrest for a while, apparently. We get the Sally shot. These are just like a little tablespoon. Okay, before we do this. Oh, gosh. Describe, Mike. Describe. Smells like my lawn. Yeah. Oh, gosh. It's oak. More like your pond. It's making my mouth water. It's making my mouth water. This is from a lake. The mouth water. Think about all the health benefits. Let me see the container. Of sewage. Oh, it's in the freezer. Okay, so.
L.O.B. brought in this thing that she bought at the hippie store, at the hippie street. They were doing a street first. She bought it at a freaking, at a freaking, freaking farmer's market. Farmer's market. Now, I read this before, Woods. Do you know that it says, it says, listen to this. It says, consume a tablespoon daily in water, juice, smoothie, or as desired. So she's making us take it. As desired. As desired. I do it as desired. She desires us to take it like this. You guys will thank me later. And you will also pay me a dollar each later. With the payer for this show. It's expensive. This show has turned into jackass this morning. But this is for good. You guys will thank me. And you'll pay me a dollar. This is...
First of all, this is the biggest bit I've ever seen about it. Oh, is it? Isn't it? This is algae that was taken from Klamath Falls, Oregon, from a lake in Oregon. Or Kalmath. Kalmath. As Jay might say. Kalmath. Yeah, Jay said Kalmath. Kalmath. It's from Klamath, and it's algae that they scraped off of the top of the lake, and we're about to drink it, and it's disgusting looking. Don't spit it out, guys. They freeze it. And then they bottle it frozen. Yes, because it's live. It's live. Then you have to thaw it out like a steak. And then you... Take little bits of it. Now, I take it as a shot because it gets right into your bloodstream quicker. And a lot of people can't stomach the taste. That's why they tell you to dilute it with, you know... Of course. So it's going to taste bad. It's going to taste like something you never have and never will taste again. Get my can here. No spitting out. You want something to taste it with, like something sweet. Just swallow. Get it ready. Get a grape. You'll be fine, Jay, but these two. Here's what it says the uses are, by the way. Increase energy, vitality, and endurance. Strengthen the immune system. Improve attention and alertness. Support brain function and ability to manage everyday stress. Really? You get that from algae off a lake? Yeah, who knew? Sewage. It's all natural. This is sewage. We're drinking sewage shots. No, it is not. Sewage are in lakes. All right, up to plants.
All right, we're not going to do it all at once. We're going to do it one at a time to get each individual reaction. Here I go. Wow. Oh, God. Look at him go. Oh, guys, he gagged. He gagged. Is it hideous? I need water. He gagged. How bad is it? Ten. One to ten. Nine. Nine. Wow. Wait, in comparison to wheatgrass, how bad is it? It's so much worse than wheatgrass. Wow, that must really be good for you. Let me describe it. Let me describe it to you. Let me describe it. Let me describe it to you. I want you to pretend. I want you to pretend that you took my fish tank. Yeah. And at the bottom of my fish tank, you buried into the rocks in the sand of the fish tank, you buried a rag. Wow. And after six months, you drained all the water. Getting L-O-B now. You drained all the water out of the fish tank.
and you're just looking at all that sand down there. But you see a little bit of water on the top of the sand, and you say, I'm going to let that sit there for another couple of weeks. Then after two weeks, you took the rag out, and you shook it up the sand and all the stuff, and you got a sieve on top of this container right here, and you went, and you just drained all the juice that was in there into a shot glass, and then you drank it. So bottoms up. Here goes Woods. Take it quick. Here goes Woods. He just drank it. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh, no. Don't spit it. What? Don't go up. I didn't spit it, dude. I didn't spit it. Why don't you have something to taste it with? I told you you needed something to taste it. Think of the bottom of that fish tank. I told you. Oh, gosh. It's bad. I told you, Woods. It's awful. Dude, it went down and tasted fine. He's all red. It was a couple seconds later. It's an awful grenade. It was fine. It went down, no problem, and then it explodes. And your body went, reject, reject, reject, reject. Oh, God. When I took it, I go, ooh, wheatgrass. No, not wheatgrass. Oh, wheatgrass that was pooped out of a fish. Wheatgrass that a trout pooped out. Mine's actually changing colors. It was green early, now it's more of a brown. Yeah, because it's awesome.
Oxidizing. Wow. Definitely the worst, most disgusting thing I've ever had. I bet it's not bad. You ready? Here we go. Here goes Jay. Twice as much. Wait for it. Wait for it. There it is. It's not bad. Wait for it. Wait for it. Jay, how bad is it? That is weird. That is weird for me. I'm here for Jay. No, no, no. I don't deny it. You know, I said it tasted like the water that was like... stuck in a boat. Like the water that's pooled in the quarter of a boat. It's boat water. We're drinking boat water. It's hideous. And you paid for this. Oh yeah, just think though. She paid for it and she takes one of them every day. I like wheatgrass. I do too. It has a wheatgrass flavor but then it exploded in my stomach. Day three of the algae kick. Wow. Do they think that no kid has ever peed in Lake Klamath? I'm sure they have. Do they think that? I'm sure they have. There's poo in there. Of course there is. I bet that lake's full of beavers. Nice beaver. They build dabs. Any excuse to get that on the air? I bet it's real dirty. Mine, I bet it's on the bottom of that lake. You get crabs from that water. Swimming through the algae. Get it furry and brown. A mouth like a bass. Bassmouth. Cowmouth.
Cow mouth. Oh, man, that hurt. You know what they call it? You know what kind of fish you get out of that lake? What? You know what kind of lake that is? Crater. Crater lake. Like a crater. Like a woman has a crater. Wow. Okay, that's a stretch. Get it straight. Oh, gross. Yeah. Holy cow. Dang. Oh, my goodness. That was a visual. Yeah, sign me up for that. Oh, babe. Fairly hideous, L.O.B. I never want to experience anything like that. Can you not do those at work, too? I won't bring it. From now on, I won't. Thank you. I was worried about them, you know, thawing out too much. On July 3rd, we gave away tickets for our listeners to go see Jeff Bridges in concert. And on July 3rd, we saw Jeff Bridges in Phoenix.
He's on the Today Show. He put out an album today. He's a musician and songwriter. Well, now he's out with a new self-titled album. Jeff, welcome back. Good to see you. What a pleasure. Good to be here, man. Anybody who pays attention, he knows you're great. That's what he did, man. That's what he did. When he talks like this, when he talks. That's Jim Bridges. That's Jim Bridges. But anybody who's really paid attention knows the music. has been a passion of yours for a long time. You were 16 years old, and you said, I want to call myself a musician. So is this something you wanted to cross off a bucket list? I don't know about a bucket list. I've been doing it since I've been a teen up until now. So it's been really a big part of my life. He's talking like a cowboy. He is a cowboy. Well, he just did Bad Blake, and then he did True Grit. I think he's really gotten into the role. Do you think in his head he's like, I'm a cowboy. The lines have blurred. Somebody walks in. They're like, hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt. Somebody parked a freaking horse outside the Rockefeller Center. Somebody's got a horse out there. I'm your huckleberry. Mr. Bridges? Yeah. Is that your horse? That's my horse. What? What's the problem? That's your horse out there? That's my horse. Sir, how'd you get in the building with spurs on your shoes? Yeah.
Oh, let me ride in. You can't leave that horse out there. Why? The big pile of poop where that horse was. That's all right. Compost, all natural. You're not allowed to ride a horse on the city streets. Did you get me some cream of tartar? I didn't get you cream of tartar. I have biscuits here on the riders. I have my stage manager lapel on, the headset. Really put in a bucket or anything. People who have watched Crazy Heart are going to say, this is an album of bad Blake songs. Is that accurate? Unfair? Yeah, maybe it is. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. I don't know. Is this music a step away from that character? I'm 50% correct on that. Some of these songs, as a matter of fact, the song we're going to play for you this morning. He's high on marijuana cigarettes. 100%. He's got a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. In his boots. In a flask. Sittered for Crazy Heart, but there's only so many slots you could fill. So there are some songs on the album that were terrific songs, but just didn't quite fit Bad Bly for one reason or another. So now is this going to be something you're out doing live gigs to support this album?
Mikey and Woods was there. Yeah, remember Mikey's brother left. Oh, they didn't get him a ticket. Yeah, he didn't get his girlfriend a ticket. He never had asked for a ticket for him and his girlfriend. His girlfriend never asked for a ticket. And then Mikey and Woods and his wife and Woods' wife had to take a cab home. Remember what was funny? Mikey didn't even know he had a girlfriend. Who lived with him? He found out that morning. And then we was going to come watch Bad Blake. Didn't even know. Yeah, shame on him. Was that what's in your near future? We just did Sturgis, the motorcycle rally. That was pretty wild. For the day, I became a hell's angel. And I shot meth for the first time. I never did do it before that day. Austin City Limits. That feels pretty good. They were doing a little, you know. That, yeah, actually, I did some right before I came out of here. Touring here and they were going up to, you know, Seattle and stuff. Do you picture the day where you're going to grab me up on the mantel? No, not really. No, really? No, don't do that. But, you know, I'm hoping there's going to be some more music, you know. I mean, this is, as far as I'm concerned. By the way, from Mikey-thon, one of the items up for bid will be a crazy heart.
photo book that Jeff signed. That's awesome. And gave to us to be able to do, to be able to raise money for the charity. I'm starting the bidding at $200 because I want it. Dude, I do too. I want it. I won't outbid you. Okay. So if you bid on it, I won't outbid you. We'll keep it in here. It'll be like it's both ours. I know. It'll be like it's both ours. There you go. You guys share everything. I'm going to bid on it. Oh, yeah. And I know somebody's going to, we'll all bid on it. I will stop short of Woods, but if somebody goes over it, then. Fine. But I'm not going to outbid my buddy on that. I want it. All right. Let's fast forward to Bad Blake singing because I want to see that. And we will come back and we will do some of Bad Blake singing live on the Today Show. It's coming up next. This is the Mikey Show. The best. That's right. It's the best. You think you got something worth adding? Are you going to be careful here with what you say? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What is it? The Vatican? Or text him. at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got people too, baby. More coming up on FM 94.9. You want a one-year price guarantee on the internet that you're using, then you got to switch to AT&T. Plus, we're talking about blazing fast speed and access to over 24,000 hotspots nationwide thanks to their on-the-go network.
You really do need to get signed up for AT&T and take advantage of this. I did while I was on the train headed to see my brother. I was using it. It's fantastic. 877-only-ATT or you can go online. ATT.com slash possible or you can visit any of the retail stores for AT&T. Just walk in, check them out. But again, $14.95 for 12 months. It's a one-year term and it's a guarantee. It's a one-year term with a price guarantee that you don't want to miss out on. Get connected today and stay on the go with AT&T. Price for 3-meg service. $10 per 50 gigabytes for DSL usage over 150 gigabytes a month. Local access line required. After 12 months, standard internet rates apply. Offer expires November 5, 2011. Summer is a time to kick back and relax. Unless you're an engineer for Mercedes-Benz. For them, there is no R&R. Only R&D. and they've been engineering their vehicles the same tireless way for 125 summers. It's a dedication to craftsmanship you can feel behind the wheel of the 2011 E-Class sedan, a vehicle so advanced it can alert you when veering from your lane or even when driving drowsy. For one month only, come to the Mercedes-Benz Summer Event and lease the exceptionally engineered E350 Sport Sedan, an IIHS Top Safety Pick, for just $589 a month for 33 months with $4,684 due at signing.
So hurry in before the event ends August 31st. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through August 31st, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Owen Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans. 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide and exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd. Open an account today at missionfed.com or stop by any of our 22 local branches. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. Loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is an equal housing lender and is federally insured by the NCUA. The end of the model year and Nissan is laying it all on the line.
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I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. For more information, delicious Mexican food. They got two locations. One of them's on Encinitas Boulevard in El Camino Real between Ralph's and the CVS. The other one's off Salona Beach, off Loma Santa Fe Drive on the east side of the freeway in the Vons and Big Five Shopping Center. And they're going to be opening some more locations, but meh.
customized Mexican food. Really, really good stuff. And we want to thank them for supplying our live studio audience with some food today. We're going to be hearing the Jeff Bridges thing here in just a second because, you know, we love Crazy Heart. We love Jeff Bridges. Today he's got a record that comes out. I'm glad you like it, Mike. I'm glad you enjoy it. Well, thank you, Jeff. You're welcome. So the guy that's going to come on right now, Jordan Goodman. Jordan has... uh been on cnn fox news uh the fox business network cnbc cbs news uh he's written a book uh about debt and how to master your debt now i want to have him on let's get him on the line uh is this jordan goodman hi mikey nice to be with you yeah nice to be with you too and john the reason that i or excuse me jordan the reason i wanted to have you on is because i want to learn You've got some little tricks that can help the average Joe get out of debt. Is that right? Correct. Okay. And you've got a new book out, right? It's called Master Your Debt. You can be a victim or you can be a master. I want you to be a master of your debt. Now, here's the thing that I was thinking about. I'm like, right now, the economy sucks. It's terrible. People need to find every way that they can save dough or make money or whatever.
And so I have a few questions for you just in general terms that you can probably break down for us. And then the other thing is I want to get to all this stuff that you teach and everything. But the first thing is I always hear these news headlines about like our debt and the deficit and all this stuff and how we just were up against the wall with figuring out if we were going to. like raise the debt ceiling. All of it's like my parents talking. Every time I hear it, I feel like it's adult talk. I don't feel like I get any of it. I'm 41 years of age. I don't understand it. Okay. And so what I wanted to see was, can we have Jordan Goodman tell us what the hell is all that stuff? What does all that stuff mean? Placed by Congress, 14.3 trillion on the amount we could borrow. We hit that limit in order to borrow more to keep the game going. We had to raise the debt ceiling. Another $2.5 trillion, which will basically just get us through the election, about another 15 months or so. Okay, but wait a minute, Jordan. My questions are going to sound foolish, but it's only because I don't know, but I bet a bunch of us don't. You're exactly right. Okay, so Jordan, we were borrowing money from people to pay our bills? We still are. We are borrowing about $0.40 of every dollar we spend. 60% of it is revenue and taxes, and 40% is borrowing. And who do we borrow it from?
Well, we issue treasury bonds, and like the Japanese, the Chinese, the Saudis, the Germans, you know, U.S. companies, pension funds, mutual funds, you know, buy those treasuries. We're issuing, each month, we are adding about $150 billion to the existing $14 trillion in debt. Each day, we add about $4 billion in new debt. And we hit the ceiling. It's like having a credit card where you hit your limit. You say, no, you can't borrow anymore. Well, in that case, the bank says, no, you can't borrow anymore. In our case, for the government, they can raise their own debt ceiling and they raise their own credit limit, which is what happened. They raised it by about a half trillion in exchange for promises of various cuts. So that's what happened. We hit our credit limit. They came up that way. That explained it. Yeah, I got it now. I understand. Finally. I understand it. Okay. Now, what you deal with, Jordan Goodman, is you've written this book called Master Your Debt and you will... Teach Joe Blow, just like me, everybody listening. Correct. How to slash mortgage payments, credit card payments, stuff like that. Can you start with the mortgages? Yes. Okay. So there's a program called the Mortgage Equity Optimization Strategy. Mortgage Equity Optimization. That's how it works. The end result of it is you can pay your mortgage off in about five to seven years instead of 30 years on the same level of income you've got today.
And this is something your bank will never tell you about. They do not want you to know about this. Mortgage equity what? Optimization. You're optimizing the equity in your house. Okay. Mortgage equity optimization. All right? Banks don't want us to know about this. Of course they don't want you. They'd much rather let you pay for 30 years. Sure. The traditional system is you take your paycheck and your income and you put it in your checking account on what you earn. How much, Mickey? How much do you earn in your checking account? Mikey, how much do I have in there? No, no. How much do you earn on it? How much do you earn on it? You're asking an adult question. Like, I need to confer with my dad. That's like an adult question. I don't know. My wife. The answer is zero. The answer is zero. You earn nothing on your checking account. It just sits there doing zero. Okay? Okay. So the traditional system is you keep your money in the checking account, earning zero, and then you get a mortgage for 30 years. You end up paying about three times in interest. what you pay for the house in the first place. And all the interest is front and loaded. Meaning, the first 10 to 15 years, you're paying almost all interest, very, very little principal on the mortgage. That's the traditional system, okay? The banks are real happy with that. They get your money for free, they even charge your fees to get your own money, and then they charge you interest for 30 years. That's what I call victim mentality. Now I'm going to reverse that completely, and now you're going to become a master of your debt using this mortgage equity optimization we just talked about. So here's how it works.
Instead of keeping your money in a checking account earning zero, you open what's called a home equity line of credit, or what's called a HELOC for short. Home equity line, which is a line of credit based on your house. You can put money into it. You can take money out of it at no penalty, no fee, any amount, whatever you want. Completely liquid, in and out, whatever you like. Okay. All right. What you do is you keep your income, your paycheck, and any other income you've got in the HELOC instead of in the checking account. And every day that goes by you have money in the HELOC, you are pushing down the principal, the amount that you owe. Wow. That's cool. And then you write checks out of the HELOC. Okay? Yeah. And so now you're making progress on the principal every day. And the end result of all this, depending on how the numbers work out, is you pay your mortgage off completely in five to seven years and you kiss the bank goodbye. That's awesome. So, Jordan, if you walk into a bank today and you say, hey, pal, I want to open a HELOC. Are they going to look at you like, oh boy. Who told you about that? Are they going to hit a red button and they're going to pull you to the back? Yeah. It's possible. Banks offer HELOCs, but there are better places to get HELOCs as well. For example, credit unions. Loads of credit unions that offer HELOCs. I do this mortgage equity optimization strategy myself, and the HELOC I have is actually 1% below the prime rate. The prime rate today is 3.25%. What is that, a prime rate? That's it? What is a prime rate?
The prime rate is the standard rate that banks charge for money, and then things are based higher or lower than the prime. The HELOC typically is at the prime rate, so it's charging you 3.25%, which, of course, is lower than what you're paying on a 4%, 5%, or 6% mortgage. Mine is actually below the prime, but even if you get it at prime, you're paying off your mortgage at 3% instead of 4%, 5%, or 6% or higher rates. There's a website to help you explain how this works in detail. I've given you the principle, but there's a lot of detail involved. Okay, now your website is MoneyAnswers.com, right? Correct. MoneyAnswers.com is the mother of all these sites, but the specific one about mortgage equity optimization is called TruthInEquity.com. TruthInEquity.com. It's a free website. They have what's called a personal profile, and you put in there your numbers, the value of your house. Your income, your expenses, your mortgage, your interest rate, all different things. And say, okay, based on the existing numbers you've got today, it's going to take you 29 years to pay off your mortgage. If you use mortgage equity optimization using those numbers, you'll pay it off in 6.4 years or however it comes out to be. Give me the website again. My website's moneyanswers.com, but this mortgage optimization is truthinequity.com. So then they take you step by step through how this thing works.
And customize it for your particular situation. Now, there's three things you need to make this work for you, okay? The three things you need are positive cash flow. You've got to have more money coming in than going out. Okay. Because that positive cash flow is what's pushing down the principal every day, right? Yeah. Second thing is you have to be able to qualify for the HELOC. So you need a credit score of like 680 or higher. Okay. 680 or higher, which most people have. And the third thing you need is equity in your house. If you're underwater in your house, there's nothing to borrow against. So if you have equity in your house... credit score, positive cash flow, as the vast majority of Americans do, you can do mortgage equity optimization. The bank's mortgage is going to pay it off. They won't even know what happened to them. They say, we really liked it that way. Couldn't you pay us for 30 years? Yeah, it'd be great for us. We don't have any equity. But that would be great. You know, that would be great. But I think there's a lot of people in this. Does that make sense to you? Yeah, it does. I didn't know about it, and it makes sense why they wouldn't want us to know about it. Now, real quickly, I'm talking to Jordan Goodman, and he's like money guy, and he explains adult stuff to, you know.
Morons. Morons like us. Simpletons. I would put it as people have huge financial potential. That's the way I would put it. Thank you. I appreciate that. We are laymen. Yes, I'm a layman. Jordan, explain the credit card deal and how we can get out of debt. All right. Okay, so you just saw how the banks are screwing you on mortgages, and we took care of that. Now the same thing on credit cards. This new credit card reform bill passed about a year ago, and people thought, oh, this is great. Credit card rates are going to go down. The fees are going to go down. It's all going to be clear. No more tricks, all that. It's been the exact opposite since that law went into effect. Fees have gone up dramatically. You know, it's like $49 for a late fee or something. Interest rates, which used to be, you know, we used to consider 18% a high rate. Now you feel lucky to get 18%. People are charging $25, $29. You know, at a certain point, they didn't call it interest. They call it vigorous. You know, it's like the mob. They break your leg or something. So interest rates have gone up dramatically on credit cards. Even if you don't pay late, even if you don't do anything wrong whatsoever. So people are stuck with these incredibly high interest rates, really burdened. Same thing, they're paying their payments and making no progress in the principal. It's all interest at 29% or something. So in that circumstance, there's two things you can do. One is credit cards. There are lower interest credit cards, if you can qualify for them. There's one state in the country which is the king of low interest credit cards. Do you know which state that is? No. Delaware? Arkansas. Arkansas. No, Delaware is the highest.
Arkansas is the lowest. Delaware and South Dakota are the two highest. They basically say to the banks, you can do whatever you want. Bring us your jobs and charge your customers whatever you want. Now, in Arkansas, they cannot charge more than 5% over the prime rate. Remember, the prime is 3%, so they basically can't charge more than 8%. So there's loads of banks in Arkansas that have very, very low rates, permanently low rates. So you're saying if you want to get a credit card, get it through Arkansas? You move to Arkansas. Correct. You don't have to move to Arkansas. You don't have to move there. You go online. Yeah, I don't want to move to Arkansas. So you're saying we go online and we find a bank in Arkansas? I'm going to give you a website to do it instantly. Oh, gosh. What is it? What is it? In five minutes, you can have it. Creditcardperks.com. P-E-R-K-S dot com. Creditcardperks.com. And you can get, if you want, freaking flyer miles. The low interest cards for Arkansas, for hotel stays, Disney points, Amazon points. There's a bunch of different things. This guy's great. Amazon points. Amazon points. Amazon points, Mike. I spent money on Amazon, and yesterday, L.O.B. spent $180 on Amazon. Yep. So you should get Amazon points. And as you get an Amazon credit card, you would get $3 for every dollar you spent. So you spent $180, so you'd get like 400 and something points. Oh, my God.
Right? I love you. Creditcardperks.com. Creditcardperks.com. That's a way of getting lower interest rates. Now, if you can't qualify for lower interest rates, you won't get these cards because you've got too much debt. Not you, but some of the listeners. No, no, me. Yeah, Woods. You can say it. It's fine. Yeah, he's like, okay, Woods. That's just a hypothetical, you know? You can go to what's called a non-profit credit counseling organization. Because they have deals with accreditors you cannot possibly get on your own. Okay, typically 6% interest, something like that, instead of 29%. How do we do it? You consolidate all your different credit cards into one payment. You then pay them, they pay the creditors, and depending on how the numbers work out, in two, three, four years, you're completely out of debt. I did that a couple years ago. It saved my life. Yeah, yeah, I love it. I'll give you my favorite one. My favorite nonprofit credit counseling is called Cambridge Credit Counseling. They're a national firm. Cambridge Credit Counseling. They're at cambridgecredit.org. They're a non-profit. And their phone number is 800-897-2200. About 200,000 customers they've done this for. So they already have deals with Bank of America, Chase, Citibank, you know, all the big banks for getting your 6% or 7% rate. You could not possibly get on your own. It's considered a neutral on your credit score, by the way. Wow. It doesn't hurt you. Yeah. Now, this is a very different animal. You probably have heard about these debt settlement companies.
Let's say that they'll settle your debt for 50 cents a dollar or something like that. Those kill your credit. I heard those. I heard those are bad. Hey, listen. Well, Jordan Goodman, thank you. If people want to know more about you, they go to your website, right? Moneyanswers.com. Moneyanswers.com. I'm crazy enough to take emails as well. There you go. All right. Thank you, Jordan. We appreciate it. You are now both empowered and you are masters of your debt. Thank you. Thank you. I'm an empowered master of my debt. Thank you. Three of us. Thank you very much. Thank you all. Appreciate it. Thank you. I love that kind of hidden stuff. There's actually four of us. Oh, sorry. You weren't talking. Five of us was great. Oh, sorry. Wow. That was weird. Well, there you go. Jordan Goodman. He's a money guy. And he knows stuff. I just took like six pages of sticky note. Yeah. All right. Let's hear what he sounds like. Jeff Bridges' album out today. He's on the Today Show. What the heck does he sound like? Is his speaker on over here, by the way? Yes. Okay, cool. This is Jeff Bridges, the actor. Hey. I hope it sounds good. Give me what you want. The time I heard it, I was wondering what kind of cab company we were going to use to get home. Didn't hear a thing. I was looking up there and smiling, and I was thinking, how are we getting home? We just got stranded here. We're 50 miles from Steve's house. My brother left us here. We are stranded. He doesn't want us to come back in the house. Yeah. Where are we going to sleep? Where are we going to sleep? Is he going to drive us to the airport tomorrow? Should I arrange for that, too?
Is it going to be locked when we get back? Do Jamie and Rebecca need more wine? Everyone around you just smiles. Yes. Rebecca and Jamie, they didn't have this problem. They were both drinking wine together. This is great, isn't it? He looks good. He's so good. He's handsome. He's taller than I thought. He's so much taller. He looks great. He looks great. Baby, you should grow a beard. All right, I will. Just shut it. We're stranded here. Let me get you another wine. Sure. No problem. No problem. More wine for everyone. It's a true story, by the way. Yeah, true story. We left. The girls had to go pee. Oh, of course. Woods and I are standing outside. It's 157 degrees at night. 10 o'clock at night. 10 o'clock at night, it was 105. We're outside. We're like, wish that cab would get here. Oh, my God. Just scared to death to go back to the house because we haven't talked to anybody. Oh, I hate that feeling.
read that there's a challenge that you could do where you could take Coke and put Coke in one glass, put Sprite in the other glass, blindfold yourself, and if you taste them, you can't tell the difference. B-S. I say B-S. Some fancy psychology people said that it's all in the packaging that has a psychological effect on how you think it's going to taste. We'll see. But really, their recipes are not all that different. Is this from they.com? Yeah, exactly. All right, well, let's bring the blindfold in. I think we have time, don't we? Yeah, yeah. It's only going to take a few minutes to do this. All right, bring the blindfold in. Jay probably has a blindfold. Yeah, we want the ball gag as well? You want my handcuffs? Mike. Mike, you want my handcuffs? I can whip you for good measure. You want my cat and nine tails? Should I bring in the tickler? Oh, good God. That's your nickname for yourself. The Tickler. That's what they called me in college. 1934. The Texas Tickler. The Texas Tickler. Yeah, yeah. Blindfolds are t-shirts. Okay. Let's blindfold. Woods first. This is getting blindfolded.
With a 98.1 Jazz t-shirt. Man, this would be the perfect time to come in and pay back for that. Don't you dare. Don't, Jay. Last electrical shock, Woods. Here you come. Now, we're all trying it, right? Are we doing one at a time? No, I don't want to do one at a time. I want to try. I want to see if we can all. I think we only made one blindfold. Oh, good. No, no, that is not right. That is not right. Chris is correcting you, Jay. Chris is waving his head saying no. I'm going to fire you, man. You ever disagree with me, I'm going to fire you. I don't want to know which is which, though. Yeah. I don't want to know which is which. All right, so let's just try it with Woods first. Let's try it with Woods first. All right, here's the first one. Jay. Don't. Jay. Get away from me. Get away, Jay. He's not doing anything. He's not doing anything. He's not doing anything. Get away. Jay, get away. All right, Woods, taste that. Woods just tasted it. Come on, dude. What is it? It's Sprite. All right, taste the other one. Oh, God.
Tasting the other one. What's that? Coke. Was he right? Was he right? Yes, he's right. Of course I'm right. Do you think it's a 100% chance that we'll all get them right? Yes. Yes. It's the dumbest. There's no way you can get it wrong. One smells like lemon. The other one smells like Coke. Don't smell it, cheater. That's not cheating. All right, I'm not going to smell. No smelling. Ella B., if not one of us gets this. I'm going to say to you. She has a will pain. I'm going to say to you, off the air, I'm going to go. Great idea. Hey, it wasn't me. It was the psychologist. All right. It wasn't me. Hang on. Let me put on my blindfold. Here you go. Let me just see your hands, L-O-B. Do I do one at a time? Yep, one at a time. Okay. No, don't put it at the same time. All right. Sprite? Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Let me do it. Look at Mike with his hand up. Is she tasting?
Oh, I shouldn't have my hand. Okay, now I know. I thought maybe that was Sprite, but now I know that this one is Sprite and that one is Coke. Correct. Okay, are you going to hand me one? Yep, yep. Here you go, Mikey. Oh, boy. All right. I have a red plastic cup in my hand, and I just tasted Sprite. Okay. For sure. Yep. And now they're putting another red cup in my hand, and I just tasted Coke for sure. Was I right? I was wrong? They were both Sprites, Mike! They were both Sprites. I Sprited you. You got Sprited. You know what? The second one, I swear, tasted like Coke. You got Sprited. It works. Holy crap, dude. The test works. I got confused. I thought this was Sprite. Dude, it works. Yeah, you got Sprite. I gave you both Sprites because, you know, we wanted to see. You thought.
You got Sprited, man. I got Sprited. Well, see, then the test is dependent on, you know, being told the truth. Maybe. Maybe. I wonder if you screw with people. In your brain. In your brain, you're expecting Coke. Because you know, you knew you had Sprite, so you assumed. Well, I didn't just assume. I trusted that you would give me the Coke. Right. So when I tasted it, I'm like, well, this is Coke. It's got to be because I know the first one was Sprite. I was able to talk myself into Coke. Right. Wow. In my head, I was able to talk myself into the taste of Coke. That's like Woods in college. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Fair enough. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Very nice. Wow. You got spreaded, pal. Sorry, I wasn't trying to mess with you. Weren't. Wasn't I? You? But it freaking works. There's a new stupid photo trend. The last stupid photo trend was Planky. Okay? There's a new stupid photo trend. I'm going to tell you all about it when we come back. Mikey. Seriously, dude? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. And? Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings.
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Price and participation may vary. Infiniti. Performance cars that challenge the status quo at every turn. Visit InfinitiUSA.com today. Sorry to be the one who has to tell you. Oh, my God. And now back to The Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. Please use the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower, and I have very little hair, and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good, and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Hey, let's make some noise in here. We got Mikey Show Live going on. I did right. So everybody has heard about planking, okay? And Woodsy hates it. Come on. Woodsy hates the idea. Who doesn't? Except for plankers. I can plank, by the way. How hard is it to lay somewhere? You lay, you lay flat, you straighten your body out. Stupid. Ooh, sounds good. Our general manager's doing that thing again. He's doing the thing. Oh, no, he's not. Yeah, he stands in front of the window. He stands there.
Why is he doing that? I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do, but he's your boss. I don't know what to say. He's my boss? He's your boss. All of us. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Here goes Woods. Go ahead, Woods. You're fired. Wow. Does he need to see us or something? Just you. Just me? I'll be yes. See me. So here's the new one. Does he really? Clearly. The new one, the new bit. is called horsemanning. What you do is you create this optical illusion. What you do, it takes two people to do it. There you go. Yes, you do that. That's not it. One person... Nice, Doug Jay. Thank you. It's good for our listeners. It's great. People listening right now on the radios enjoyed the visual of what you did. Yeah, very much. But what you do... is you make it so that one person cannot see your head. You either hide it behind something or you lean way back and then the person poses next to you so you can only see their head. Now, what a lot of people do is they grab onto that person's head and what it does, it creates an optical illusion like you're missing your head and your head is someone else's body. Maybe you can go to a bar and get laid or something. Maybe you stop doing horsemanning. Horsemanning. Come on. Maybe you read a book.
Yeah, well, it's a big thing. Is there something? It's a big thing, big fad. Owling is better than that. What's owling? Owling is like you crouch like an owl would. And then you just go in different spots. Same places that you might plank, but you're just crouched like an owl. This is stupid. I don't know. The people doing this are pretty funny. The pictures are pretty funny. Jay's profile is a new thing. Where Jay is jumping off. It is. And posing. Woods says that's a new bit. That is. Yeah, it's a new bit. You jump off like you're diving into the pool and then you pose. This is a new bit. You can crop out anything else around you to make it just look like you're in midair. Posing. Yeah. People do it with newspapers and full on plates of food and they're jumping up sideways in the air before they land in their water. It's great. It's funny. Hilarious. It's terrible. Woods, why are you so against planking? Because it's ridiculous. Headmaning. Horsemaning. Horsemaning. Fun of any type. It's not fun. Why are you against it? I love fun. The headmaning seems way too involved. It's horsemaning. It's horsemaning. Headmaning is something you do privately in your bedroom. I know. Planking as well. Woods, what are the new releases that we have coming out today? Well, today the new Blue October is out. Any man in America. Sounds very Phil Collins 1980s. Can I share a quick story about Blue October with you?
Sure. I was at a party. Our friend Bark Malman had a party. And I saw a beautiful young lady sitting in the corner all by herself. So I walked up and I was talking to her. She said, what do you do? I said, well, I'm a business guy, but I'm also playing a band. Yeah. A little acoustic band. Yeah. Cover band. Yeah. She goes, oh, that's cool. And so I'm telling her about, you know, basically how great I am and play and sing. She goes, yeah, my ex-boyfriend Justin's the lead singer for Blue October. They have a platinum record and a number one selling record. Single. If it were me, I would have gone, oh, that's cool. I've never heard of them. Oh, yeah. Big band. Big band. I would have, if it had been me, I would have said, that's great. I've never heard of them. I slunk away like an idiot. Like, I'm trying to tell her how great I am. You got got by Blue October. They got me real good. Oh, wow. They had a couple huge singles. You got blocktobered. I got block.
My boyfriend used to sing for the Crap King 5. Well, the Crap King 5 is not a real thing. Yeah, they are. They just won a Grammy. Maybe you don't know who they are, but they won a Grammy, and they also won a Block Award. I felt like an idiot. I wouldn't have. I would have still kept going. That's because you don't know anything about bands. Well, I'd still have said to her, that's great. Blue October. Great. I like their demo work, but I wasn't so into their... Easy name drop. Yeah, seriously. Seriously. Well, and also the new Jeff Bridges is out. It's called Jeff Bridges. Now, if she said she used to date Jeff Bridges... Done. Academy Award winner. You're like, yeah, I'm an actor. I do some community theater. Great. My ex-boyfriend is Jeff Bridges. That would get me. That would get me. For sure, I'd be done. New Jewel is out. The Mary Goes Round. Whiskers on kittens. What the hell? Looks to me like it's a kid's album. Yeah, it is. Okay, okay. My favorite thing. The song. First, that really, when I thought it was for, like, just, she's releasing an album, I was like, oh, wow, this is different. It's for kids. It's for little kids. Are you down on this, or do you like it? Oh, kids. Oh, kids. Yeah. He's a fake kid. He doesn't like it. Oh, wow.
Maybe my nephew would like it. I don't know. So you're going to just be against all things kids now? Yes. Agreed. New Pixar movies out. Screw that. Stupid. My fake kid hates it. Hope it fails. Can't take my fake kid. Oh, wow. This is a weird one. Sly Stone from Sly and the Family Stone has a new record. I'm back. Same songs. This is new? Yeah. The album is featuring all these different artists. So this is Ann Wilson singing with him. Oh. Is he even singing? No, they put his mummy in the corner of the room wrapped in bandages. And out on DVD today, Jane Eyre. Jane Eyre? Yeah, Jane Eyre. What is that? It's a period piece. Ew, that's disgusting. What? I didn't say it. She did. It's a period piece. Stop. Stop doing that. Stop doing that.
It's a maxi pad piece. Let's make some noise. Really flowing now. Oh, my God. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Today, I'm putting a BMW 3 Series to the test on the highway. Let's see what she's got. More power than ever. Check. Hold on. Toll booth coming up. What's more fun than paying money just so you can keep on driving? Same's true with maintenance costs. You see, most luxury cars have to go through a toll booth of sorts with every service visit. And those tolls can cost you up to thousands. Like the poor guy in front of me. Oh, that can't be fun. But not BMW. In fact, BMW is the only one of the top three luxury makes that offers no-cost maintenance. That means no service bills, just lots of...
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Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. This is the sound of Marcus trying to find a branch of his bank on the other side of town. Please take the next left in 17 miles. Oh, come on. You'd think there'd be one a little closer. This is Tony looking for a chase bank. Now, where's that new branch? It should be just... Oh, there it is. Marcus. Recalculating. Recalculate. Yeah, great. Recalculate. Thanks for helping. Tony. Welcome to Chase. Wow, you guys are opening up everywhere. Marcus, again. You are no longer on the road. Wonderful. You are no longer on the road. Where am I? You can always rely on a Chase bank to be close by your home or office. With new branches opening all the time and a suite of new technologies, Chase continues to make banking more convenient. There are over 5,300 locations nationwide, with more coming to San Diego soon. Visit chase.com slash mynewbranch for your nearest Chase location. More branches in more places. Take a step forward and chase what matters. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list.
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See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in here. It's Mikey Show Live. You have to really love a pizza to do what this guy did. This guy was moving to Mississippi. Sorry. He was from Massachusetts. All right. Boston. Yeah, well, he was from an area by Boston. He lived at 559 Bunker Hill Street. Close. In Charlestown. Yeah, very close. It was actually, he lived in Stoughton. He's got 12 big brothers.
Yeah, what are their names? Maki, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Timmy, Tommy, Davey, Joey, Robbie, and Brian. I missed the second one. What was it again? Maki, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Timmy, Tommy, Davey, Johnny, Robbie, and Brian. There you go. Stoughton. It was from Stoughton. Just outside Boston. He moved to some place in Mississippi and really liked Town Spa Pizza. That was the name of the place. So he bought 150 pizzas and had them frozen. It costs $1,200. Oh, my God. Mikey. Keep those. We'll just call that a Monday. He says it with such vigor. He says it with such vigor. Vigor enthusiasm. He says it like a panda biting through bamboo. Mikey, you 16 state-driving pizza runner. Where are they, Mikey? If you'd been alive in the days of Prohibition and it wasn't alcohol but pizza. Strike that burritos. You'd do five consecutive lifetimes. You'd have been like John Dillinger. Pizza running. If there was, instead of banks, people would rob pizza stores. You'd have been like the biggest bandit there was. Bonnie and Fat, they would have called you.
The pepperoni bandit. That's right. No, boy. That's what they called me in college. Right. I love pepperoni. For different reasons. Boy, yo, yo, yo, yo. Helicopter. Oh, wow. Gosh. Oh, gosh. He is. Oh, he is one of the creepiest human beings. Helicopter. Helicopter. Got it. Thank you. Helicopter. Helicopter. Thank you. This time without the hip motion. Helicopter. Helicopter. Thank you. Hey, listen. Woodsy, if you didn't need more reasons to quit smoking, here's what they say. Oh, boy. 20 minutes after you take your last smoke. 20 minutes after the last smoke, Woods. Okay. Your blood pressure and your heart rate drop. 12 hours after you quit smoking, your carbon monoxide levels are back to normal. Let's see. Two to three months after you quit, your lungs regain normal function. Really?
Yeah. A year after you quit, your risk of heart disease drops sharply because when you're smoking, it damages the structure of your blood vessels and that gives you a heart attack. Perfect. Your risk of cancer in the mouth, throat. What's cancer? You knew what he meant. Really? Does that ever stop anybody? Your risk of cancer in the mouth, throat, esophagus, and bladder is cut in half five years after you quit smoking. Yeah, there you go. Oh, gosh. Case in point. Can't even laugh too hard. Which has a brisk laugh and breaks into a nicotine-laced cough. You can roll a cigarette from the spit that comes out when you cough. Interesting. I am thinking about quitting again, so. You should keep thinking about it. Don't tell anyone or else we'll... Yeah, yeah. Don't tell anybody. Get so much support here. Just got to work that in one more time today. Someone say beaver. Please. Say it, Mike. Gosh. I'm dying over here. I beg you to say the word beaver. Say pole. Just say pole. Say Justin Bieber's name. Say Andy Roden. I'll play it. I dare you. Nice beaver. I don't even need you to. I'll do it.
I don't need you to say anything maybe related. I'll play it. Study finds that people that are more agreeable do not make as much money as people that are disagreeable. The percentage is 18% of men that are not agreeable. They make more money. Their salary is higher. Believe it. For women, among women, disagreeable females, they make 5% more. Screw it again. Screw it again. I don't know about that. Mm-hmm. Now, this contained data from 20 years, three different surveys. They interviewed 10,000 workers in a wide range of fields. The moral of the story is be a jerk. Yeah, make more money. Apparently. Apparently. A woman in Ohio, she was 94 years old, and she woke up. There was a blimp in her backyard. Mikey. What were you doing in our backyard, Mike? What you doing in Ohio, Mike? How did you get back there? Did you fly? Your arms must be tired. How much helium did that take? What is helium? What the hell is helium? What is helium? I think you know what it is. What is helium? All right. Helium. No! All right. Fine. Helium. Helium. So sue me.
Do you know how much helium it would take to fly Mikey up into the sky? I'd like to be there when it happens. There ain't enough Chuck E. Cheese balloons to fill enough helium to get him airbound. Well, because you have big jugs. In order to get you scoured, Mike. Do you mean skyward? No, I meant skyward. In order to get you scoured, Mike, they'd have to put enough helium. You'd be like the big Snoopy. Well, apparently, Hangar One Vodka was doing a big promotion and their helium balloon broke down and landed in this 94-year-old woman's backyard. Poor old lady. That's the most curious hot dog. Looked out her back window. There was a blimp in her backyard. A vodka bottle.
Have I died and gone to heaven? This must be heaven. Is that a Jimmy Dean pork sausage floating outside my window? I can make a rusty nail with this. Wiener time. She said, it really is quite an occasion to have a blimp land in your yard. Isn't that right, Mike? Mike, we had a dollar for every time you heard that. I wonder how many times Rebecca's walked outside to the pool and said, oh. If I only had a dollar. It's quite an occasion. It's really quite an occasion to have a blimp lying in your yard. Mike's in the pool. What an occasion? How about a blimp in your bed, Mike? Yeah, Mike. It's really an occasion to have a blimp lying in your bed making love to this. All full of helium. Plank him. We need to isolate helium. For sure. Plank him. Percent. Helium. You know, Kim.
Just getting to the point where I can't even make fun of that fat ass without him making a joke about me. He like flips it around. He flips it around. Somehow it's me. He's saying things wrong. Rat, I was trying to tell him how he's blimpy today, Rat. I said to him, you're full of helium. What's wrong with that? I couldn't even get the joke out before he started making fun of helium, and I'm trying to call him a blimp. Are you listening? Hi, Hillary. Hi. How are you? Good. Do you guys have any of that algae left? Oh, I do. I want to try it. Would you like some? Would you? No, I don't. You would never, would you? Oh, yeah. I'm all about what Lauren's into. Yeah. The kombucha, wheatgrass. It was the most foul. Oh, it's bad. I bet you feel great, though, don't you? Did you really throw up? Yeah. I really did. He did. It's all on video. I heard the whole thing, but I was like, is that, did he puke? I got it. I got it down. I got it down, and then it was fine, and then it. Rejected it. For those of you that weren't listening, LOB now drinks algae that's been skimmed off the top of a lake in Oregon. Three days now. Lake Kalmouth? Kalmouth. Lake Kalmouth. Kalmouth. I feel wired. Yeah. I do not. At all. At all. I am wired. That's awesome. I don't. But, well, we could fix you up some if you want some, Hillary. We've got plenty of slushies. Just scrape it off. Be a dollar.
Costs you a dollar. What do you have coming out? I grabbed The Cult, a Postal Service song I haven't played in a long time, New Bon Iver, my favorite band. One of my favorite bands ever I'm going to start with. And also, I'm going to play a band who recorded some songs for the upcoming Muppets movie soundtrack. They really thought, I mean, they were in talks to be a part of it, to even go on tour as the Electric Mayhem band. And that fell through, but they still included some of those songs that were intended for the Muppets movie soundtrack on. Their new album. There you go. Something from them in a minute. And let's hear one last round of applause from our studio audience that we had in here. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Enjoy the rest of your day. The Mikey Show will be back tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock.