The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/17/11
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Chargers stadiumflash mobscollege football scandalPlaxico shootingcomic impressionsrelationship compromisetheme partiesgrocery embarrassmentsports ethicssuperpowershospital ordealradio
Mikey, Woods, Lauren O'Brien, and Jay mixed pointed arguments with escalating improvised comedy, debating San Diego's Chargers problem, adult theme parties, shared-home compromises, and whether integrity was worth giving up a $50,000 hockey prize. Woods reported the Nevin Shapiro scandal at the University of Miami, while Plaxico Burris explained to Brian Gumbel exactly how he accidentally shot himself in a nightclub. The show's biggest comic turns were Jay's disastrous 'Imagations,' Woods's two-part grocery-store humiliation, and a flight-versus-mind-reading argument with audience member Eric. Mikey also turned a simple hypothetical about heat into a vivid story about surgery, an embarrassing catheter, and abusive hospital care.
What happened, in order
Chargers Stadium Fight
Mikey and the crew argued that San Diego needed a modern stadium to keep the Chargers, while conceding that the city's fair-weather fans might disappear as soon as the team started losing.
Flash Mob Robbery
A debate over whether flash mobs are fun turned into a story about teenagers near Washington, D.C., using one to swarm and rob a 7-Eleven.
Miami Booster Scandal
Woods described imprisoned booster Nevin Shapiro's claims that he showered dozens of University of Miami players with cash, cars, parties, prostitutes, and even bounties for injuring opponents.
Plaxico Tells the Shot
Plaxico Burris told Brian Gumbel that his gun slipped in a dark nightclub, fired as he grabbed it, and left him realizing he had been shot only when he saw blood soaking his white shoes.
Jay's Imagations
Jay's deliberately mangled impressions of an East L.A. gang member, a shogun warrior, and a Southern Baptist preacher collapsed into the same bizarre voice and sent the studio into hysterics.
The Pinball Ultimatum
The hosts argued over whether a man moving in with his girlfriend should surrender his recliner and restored pinball machine, with Mikey calling it part of growing up and Jay insisting compromise must preserve something
Theme Parties Are Lame
In 'That's a True Statement,' Woods condemned adult costume parties as forced and embarrassing while Mikey, Lauren, and Jay defended them as playful mood-setters.
Woods Flees the Grocery Store
Woods accidentally exposed himself taking a covert photo of a child in the ice-cream aisle, then abandoned a fully scanned $215 grocery order after discovering his wife had his debit card.
The Twin's $50,000 Shot
After Nick Smith secretly substituted for twin brother Nate and made an 89-foot hockey shot, the crew split over whether their father was right to reject the $50,000 prize on principle.
Flying vs. Mind Reading
Woods and Mikey chose flight over mind reading because other people's private judgments would be miserable to hear, while audience member Eric argued telepathy would keep him one step ahead.
Mikey's Hospital Nightmare
A chairlift-versus-elevator question led Mikey into a humiliating account of surgery in a sweltering hospital, a catheter ordeal, and a nurse named Annie who mocked his requests while he was helpless and in pain.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayNevin ShapiroPlaxico BurrisBrian GumbelNick SmithNate SmithEricRebeccaAnnie
31,342 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Ready to rock and roll. Let's do this thing. Feel free to give us a call. 570-1949 is the number. If you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Good morning. Mikey's show is on the radio. Quick introduction. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years of age. Woodsy is our sports guy. He is 36. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's 30. Jay is our producer. And he is 48 years old. And Chris is our phone screener. And he's 22. It's Krause. That's Krause. Word of the day today. Bargain when you hear me say it between now and 10. Caller number nine. We'll get a pair of Park Hopper tickets to Legoland. We're going to be going to, speaking of Park Hopper.
We're going to be taking my son, Woods is going, taking my boy to Disneyland. Can't wait. For his fifth birthday. Bam! It's coming up, yeah, on September 9th. It's going to be awesome. Can't believe that boy's five already. I just remember when he was just a little baby, just being born. I'm going to ride so many rides with that kid. Yeah. He loves it. Is it because Mikey's not tall enough to get on the rides? That is why. It's because I am not tall enough to get on the rides. Mikey's shorter than his five-year-old. Yeah, five-year-old. It took so long. It took so long when I was a kid to be tall enough. I mean, I've always been short. I never was like the crew quickly, then stop. Never that. Couldn't get on anything. I had a burst, man. I had a burst between like eighth grade and ninth grade year. And I just went. Me too. Girls do it and it's kind of embarrassing. Sometimes girls will blossom before they want to and are embarrassed of their bodies. I loved those girls. Oh, man. Back in 8th grade. Climb them like a ladder. I never got that girls were embarrassed of it because guys always thought they were cool. And so why would a girl be embarrassed of it when guys thought they were awesome?
Well, they had these big, giant boobs and nobody else did. So it would be like... It's not like they were going, ha ha. They were like, hey, what's up? The guys were all the way in. I don't get it. There was other stuff that went along with the boobs coming. There was. That made them self-conscious. My wife said she got very... She was always the tallest kid. She got real tall and stayed there. And she was embarrassed because she was the tallest girl. And everybody else hadn't blossomed yet, gotten tall. The coach is like, Rebecca, you really should try out for basketball and volleyball. She's like, I'm four. I don't want to. Let's see. Imagations coming up at seven. Yes. That's right. They are back, ladies and gentlemen. Imagations is where we will just pull a dialect out of a hat and Jay has to do the dialect. It's fantastic. I was giggling to myself yesterday in PetSmart. Yeah. thinking about imaginations today. Yeah, he's not the best impersonator. Aren't I? No, you're not. I think I'm the best. I just don't think you guys have an ear for it. You get a ribbon for participation, Jay. Thank you. Eight o'clock this morning, that's a true statement. Something wild will be said, followed by, that's a true statement. And if you believe it, you can call, back them up, or you can call in and say, you're a clown, what are you talking about? That is not true.
Let me tell you, I'm big with the that's a true statement. I have some very bold thoughts. Me too. Mayor Sanders is going to be going around the country and trying to figure out how do we keep the Chargers here. Now, here's why. You reported this last week, but City of Los Angeles, they've got a deal with a big-time developer called AEG that wants to spend about a billion bucks. in Los Angeles and build a new football stadium. Nothing gets a city motivated like a company like AEG going, yeah, we'll build a football stadium and city industry. Let the Los Angeles community have a football team back. Well, that's motivated Jerry Sanders. He's going to take a three-day nationwide tour, and he's going to go talk to various cities, including Indy. KC, and Denver. Now, my guess is he wants to ask those cities specifically because if those are the cities that have been targeted, something tells me that those are the cities that know how to get this done. But we can't get a deal done with the Chargers that's more enticing to them to stay here. Of course, to them, a market like Los Angeles and a billion-dollar stadium sounds really good.
And I don't blame them. Yeah. You know, when you consider that a city like San Diego, sometimes even when the football team is good, it's hard to sell out of stadium. Right. You know, you're the owner of the team. You're going, what gives? The other thing you're saying is we don't want to play in this toilet. We're a good football team. And Qualcomm is a toilet. It's a gigantic. It's a toilet bowl. It's antiquated. It's old. It's got wires that are. You'll be sitting in one of their sky, but clear channel. They had a skybox. We'd be up in that skybox, which is supposed to be nice, right? It's made of concrete. All right. It's all concrete, which back in 1972 was revolutionary. Absolutely. Look at the beautiful concrete, honey. And you're down there, you're sitting in the seats and there are cables strung through the box. Exposed. Exposed cables, you know, and you're like, that looks terrible. Yeah, it's a dump.
Then you go to Petco where the suites are beautiful and gorgeous. And the Chargers are like, yeah, that looks pretty good to us. We actually have a very good product that we put on the field. Right. Why don't you build us a stadium? And the city has basically said to the Chargers, you've got a toilet and you will live with it. And the Chargers have gone, well, listen, we have better places to be. If they move to Los Angeles. Yeah. This will be a ghost town. I mean, as far as sports is concerned. For sure. I was blown away when I moved here last year that San Diego Charger games were not sold out. Blown away. Because I got on the Pods fans pretty good last year. When you had a first place team and you weren't going there. And then everybody, Woodsy, just relax. Wait for football. Wait for football. Great. I saw four Charger games last year. Because the other ones were blacked out. Why would you build a stadium, though, if it's not going to sell out? It would if you built it. But see, what was the difference? If you build it, they will come. It's not just that. But it's two things. And I think that Charger ownership knows this. These are just facts, San Diego fans. Don't get upset. And if you do get upset, you can call me and talk to me about it. But this is just the fact. The fact is we are a fair weather city. That's just a fact. The fact is that sociologically, we don't share in common.
What the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, the relationship that they have with their teams. We don't have that. First of all, we don't have the history that they do. And second of all, it isn't the only thing in town. In Green Bay, Wisconsin, it's the only thing in town. And so Lambeau Field is old. It's got all this history. And it's the only game in town. And so there you live, eat, and breathe. Lambeau Field and Green Bay football. That's it. Here, it just isn't like that. You got the beach. You've got the city itself, which is beautiful and sunny and gorgeous and everything. And so here, it's very, very different for people to jump on board of a football team that isn't winning. OK, so when we're not winning, they don't jump on board. It just so happens that right now we've got a good football team. We've had a good football team for a few years. If we built a beautiful stadium, there's no doubt about it. it would sell out. However, it won't as soon as they start to lose. And I mean the second they start to lose. The second they start to lose, it'd be a different story. But if they build something and it's beautiful, the reason that a lot of people don't go to Petco right now, or excuse me, the reason that a lot of people don't go to Qualcomm right now is they know what the experience is like. And the experience kind of sucks. It's not really that great. The experience at Petco is great.
The product is bad, though. The product is bad. And people don't, in this city, people don't like to go to a bad product. In some cities, and you know, the bottom line is we're not alone. Look at the Florida Marlins. The Florida Marlins have a great product, too. And people are not going to those games, either. No question. No question. They have a turd stadium. An absolute turd. But I tell you, even with the new stadium, I don't think people would pack it. Because we just don't have a big enough... population to pull from. I think we do. Yeah, I do too. I think the stadium could, I mean, even when they're winning, people just don't care. They just don't go. They do. Yeah, it's just, it's harder. It's harder here. It's very hard because of the city. We happen to live in a city that's rad. In my opinion, San Diego is the greatest city in America. No question. America's finest. Hands down. It's just the greatest city in America. And the reason that it's so great is you got the zoo, you got the SeaWorld, you got the wild animal park, you got the weather, you got the people that are beautiful. You got the communities that are beautiful. You've got the places to go and see while you're here. There's a million things to do here. I mean, it just it doesn't run out. And so people would rather do a lot of those things and enjoy our beaches and enjoy our stuff rather than go to a football game. And San Diego Charger football here, albeit popular, it's not.
In our blood. Some people it is. I may be talking to some people right now that you go, it's in my blood. It's in my blood. I get it. I understand that. It's not in the community's blood like it is in Boston, like it is in the Bronx. It's different there. In the Bronx, you're not going to find a lot of people that are like, yeah, I'd rather do this. Screw you. You're a Yankee fan if you live in the Bronx. You just are. If you're from Saudi. You grew up a Sox fan, and you're going to die a Sox fan. It's a true story. It's the way it is. Your dad was a Sox fan. Your grandfather was. His grandfather used to watch Ted Williams play. I mean, it goes back generations. But there are new teams out there that have a good, solid fan base. Think about the Titans. The Titans have a good, solid fan base, and they moved from Houston to Nashville. If they build a new stadium, first of all, it's going to be badass because it's going to be down there by Petco in a really cool area. And it will revitalize downtown, you know, which is already a pretty vital downtown. And you know it'll be a jewel. It'll be shiny. It'll be on. I was in Dallas when they built the new stadium. You've never seen anything like this place. You never have seen anything like it. Listen, Jay, incredible. Just, you know, with your theory, I'm telling you right now and you know me.
I don't do stuff. They build a stadium. I'm going to Charger games. That's a promise. That is a promise. They build a stadium. I'm going to Charger games. I don't want to go to Qualcomm. What about the tailgating and all the stuff that you have there? Listen, it's not a part of my blood, but what is? is I do love those shiny new things. I love it. I love them. All shiny new things wear off, though, after a couple years. No, dude, I understand. I mean, Petco is still a beautiful stadium, but they haven't put the product on the field. You combine the both, you've got a winner. In San Diego, you will. M1 Darren from El Cajon? Yeah, this is him. Go ahead. Yeah, I'd like to know, so if Chargers were to move to Los Angeles, would you remain a Chargers fan? Yes, sir. Would you start supporting the Raiders? Yeah. I would support the Chargers because they'd be a Southern California team. And that's what they're banking on. They're banking on it being a Southern California team. You know, the Raiders are an inter-conference rival. I'll never be a Raider fan. And they're from the Bay Area. And even when they were in Los Angeles, they were an inter-conference fan. Or whatever. Rival. Go ahead. Just being an East County boy, it's hard for me to think of.
My football team being the Los Angeles Chargers. I'm with you. I don't want it. I don't want it either. I want the city to put it up to a vote and let us vote on a stadium. And I would love for us to have a stadium. I really would. A brand new, shiny, state-of-the-art, beautiful, badass stadium. Chargers Park. Now listen to this. In order for the Chargers to go, because they got a lease with Qualcomm. It runs through 2020. So in order for the Chargers to go, they got to pay a I'm out of here fee. And the I'm out of here fee is 24 mil. AEG says, no problem. We got it. Oh, my God. AEG that wants to build a new stadium and city industry in Los Angeles. They go, we got we don't don't worry. We'll take care of that. Wow. So now you think Sanders is motivated? He is. He's taken a three city tour. He's going to go to Indianapolis, KC and Denver and say, how did you guys do this? What can we do? And I hope he comes back here and says, we got a plan. We're going to execute it. Denver Stadium is badass. Yeah. Absolutely badass. New stadiums, dude. Oh, they're great. They're the greatest thing. They're so great. And you know, that is one thing that San Diego does right. Yep. When they do something fancy, they do it right. Petco's amazing too, you know? Everybody familiar with the term flash mob and what a flash mob is? Flash mob is where you get on your...
Is it cell phone only or can it be just the Internet? You say to a bunch of people, hey, let's meet up and exactly this time. It's like a meetup. And then you say, and at this time what we're going to do is we're going to dance to this song. And so at 2.24 p.m., 17 people meet up at the front of Fashion Valley Mall. And nobody knows. that all those people are there with one singular purpose, but they're all looking at their watches, and boom, when it becomes that time, they all break into dance. It's a flash mob. There's even a commercial about it where one guy is in Grand Central Station, and he starts dancing by himself, and everybody's looking at him, and he looks down at his phone, and it says, flash mob has been moved to this time. He's like, oh boy. Call it a get mob myself. Yeah, you're not down? Come on.
I mean, I wouldn't take part, but I don't have a problem with them. You know, if I saw it happen, I'd be like, oh, cool. I got to see one happen. Yeah. You know, I'm not part of it. I'm not going to be a part of it. I'm not dancing. So lame. If it happened, I wouldn't I wouldn't strike me as lame. It would strike me as, oh, cool. I'm a part of this. I got to I got to witness it as it as it unfolded. Look. I'm sitting in the food court. I just want to eat my chicken teriyaki in peace. Free entertainment. I got Michael Jackson Jr. over here doing the thriller dance. What if it's not dancing? What if it's like everybody decides to plank? You can do a bunch of different things. You can do anything. Woods just went in his coffin. But, Woodsy, hang on. Okay, so you got this guy over here doing the Michael Jackson thriller, but what if he had 12? Wouldn't that be funny? No. Yes. It would make me laugh. I would love it. If I was eating lunch with my wife and that started happening, I'd just look at it and I'd be like, oh, cool, check it out. It's a spectacle. I want someone to invite me to be in a flash mob so I can be one of the dancers. I got invited. You did? Did you go? No, I didn't go. Well, here's what happened. 20 miles outside D.C., 1.45 Sunday morning, a bunch of stupid teenagers decided they were going to go in and steal a bunch of stuff, snacks, drinks, stuff like that from the 7-Eleven.
And they've identified a bunch of them through surveillance video, but they're still trying to find who the organizer was, blah, blah, blah. Freaking yahoos. So now flash mobs are robbers. Literal mobs. They're out of control. Yeah. Let's see. Casey Anthony's parents are going to be on Dr. Phil. Wow. They say it's going to happen next month. I guess I'll be watching that. I will, too. 100%. They're going on there, and they're going to talk. They're not getting paid, by the way. Really? Mm-mm. They released a statement. They said they're not getting paid. They're asking for donations to a charity organization that's been set up to advocate for the rights of grandparents and missing kids. And it's supposed to air September 12th, according to a statement that got released. And the episode is supposed to focus on...
All the scrutiny that they've been under since the trial. Right. The mom and dad. The mom perjured herself, you know, a few times. I'm not trying to take advantage of anything. I just simply want to see what life is like. And I think you do, too. I'm doing a service to the community. Are you? Yeah, I am. What? Nancy Grace. Hi, this is TV's Nancy Grace. I know who you are. Can I speak with Philly? This is Phil. It's not Philly. It's Phil. Oh, you know it's Philly. You call me doctor. Philly. Mama? I want that interview. You ain't getting it. I want it. You ain't getting it. I got it already. It's done deal. Close the books on it. You're not giving me that interview. I ain't giving you crap. You can give it to me or I'm going to blow the lid off our past. Ain't the first time I've ever heard you say that, Mama. What past? What are you talking about past? Don't act like you don't know. I have photos. Whoa. You have photos of me at one birthday party you had.
Years ago, when I was a guest on CNN, you invited me to your birthday. I went. You don't have anything more than that. Is that the stance that you're going to take on that? It's the stance I just gave right here on the FM 94.9. You know I'm a bulldog. I know you are, mama. You don't have to talk to me. I ain't going to give up this fight. What? I ain't going to give up this fight. You want a pillow fight? Listen, you want a pillow fight? Bring it on. Oh, I do want a pillow fight. I said I ain't going to give up this fight. You don't get the interview. I've already got it. You are trying to exploit this family and trying to... This poor woman and her daughter is a monster. She killed her granddaughter and you just want to have her on for the ratings. Excuse me. Yeah. Where the hell do you think the phrase Tot Mom came from? From me, TV's Nancy Grace. Yeah. So what are you getting on my guff? Really? Don't call me that. It's Dr. Phil. What? I want that interview. I know you want it. Can't have it. You're going to give it to me. I told you that ain't the first time you said that. You little filly? Oh, you're filthy. You're a cult. You're an unbroken cult that needs to be saddled. Did you call me? Did you call me the C word? Get off of my phone. Get off. Get out of here. You all dirty scumbag. Gosh darn it. Dang it, Mike. I made a mistake. I'm supposed to play this.
Dang it! I'm still getting used to the music and how we're writing this new music. I'll get it. I guess it was over the weekend. HBO's Real Sports with Brian Gumbel. He interviewed Plaxico Burris, who's back in the NFL after he shot himself. He asked him about what was it like when you shot yourself in the leg. Like, what happened? What was going on? He gives details, the whole thing. We'll play you the clips of it next. The love of the girl I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Uh, that, that, that. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings.
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On Saturday, 40 of the top food truck chefs from Southern California come to Del Mar. It's the first annual Gourmet Food Truck Festival. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, and bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or a San Diego Nissan dealer today. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for PlayStation 3. It is the best gaming console around, and now it's even better. Why? Because it's only $249. PlayStation 3. This report brought to you by Allstate. The more you protect them, the more you can save bundle coverage for your car plus your boat, your motorcycle or more. Call your local agent and bundle and save today. In Oceanside on the 78 eastbound between El Camino Real and it looks like Emerald Drive. You've got some slowing in the upper 40s. Also the drive through the 805 southbound. It's a little slow between Mission Center Road and 43rd Street. And as you head into Escondido, good news there. usually is bunched up by now, but the 15 in both directions between the 78 and the 8, it's looking pretty good. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate. For any True Start or True 2 battery installed, make an appointment with their experts. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
Back to the Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. Mike. Mikey. I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. And Jay. Hey, I like the skateboard. On FM 94.9. That's a true statement. 8 o'clock. Caller number 9. You get yourself parked off the tickets. There you go, Lenny. We're just packing a badass show together real good. Dude, real good. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is probably the... Probably. It is the greatest... graphic design website you'd go to. If you want something badass built for your website, you want really, really cool, you want to get the really cool business cards, you want to get anything that has to do with graphic design, go to createyourdesignonline.com. Woodsy, what's going on?
With this booster story coming out of Florida, man. Man. Okay, so if you are a Miami, University of Miami fan, you may be in for some lean times here. There's a guy named Nevin Shapiro. What Nevin Shapiro did, he's now in prison, Mike, for a $930 million Ponzi scheme. So he's sitting in prison. He's doing interviews with Yahoo Sports. And basically, he's telling them that. He gave. money, cars, yacht trips, jewelry, televisions, sex parties, paid for abortions, restaurant meals, bottle service, to all kinds of Miami players, University of Miami players. We're talking about 72 players, including, not limited to, Vince Wilfork, John Beeson, Antrell Roll, Devin Hester, Willis McGahee, the late Sean Taylor, Kellen Winslow Jr. has been implicated in a couple things too. This guy is... he was very involved in the university of miami and he said hey listen the reason i did it is because i could yeah nobody stopped me i was in there he bought him cars he gave him dough bought him rims got him into clubs got him in the strip clubs got him hookers paid for an abortion for one of the guys he what's the upside for him for that it's it's you know i don't understand sure what he said he's mad
He's mad. He's upset that he's in prison now for something totally unrelated. OK, but he said all these players that I helped, they've all turned their back on me. So it's a it's a kind of a revenge bit now. OK, so he was hoping that once they became famous and got into the NFL, he would live the high life because he would be a part of that scene. Yep. Another real disturbing part of the story was that he offered Miami players a five thousand dollar bounty. to any player that could knock Florida State quarterback Chris Ricks out of a game and Tim Tebow. And so Yahoo Sports went back and investigated this. There's a player from Miami Famous, he was in the NFL, Jonathan Vilma. They said that Vilma tried to kill Chris Ricks that day. Oh, wow. And you could see it. I mean, they said if you watched the video, he wanted that 5K, man, and it was pretty obvious. So Yahoo Sports has obtained financial records, all kinds of proof, and they're basically building a case against Miami now. A lot of current players from Miami are under investigation as well. Well, how can you really, it seems like he'd be the one in trouble, not the university. How does the university? They don't know, right? Reggie Bush, you know, Reggie Bush, the USC lost a national championship, and Reggie lost his Heisman because of improprieties. I mean, it's the university for not getting involved and not knowing really what's going on with their student athletes. How would they know, though? Dude.
When you see a kid probably driving around in a giant SUV with $5,000 rims on it, you probably want to investigate. If the guy doesn't come from money and he's a college kid, it's one of those deals. It is an absolutely crazy story, and it's the top story on every sports headline right now. I recommend reading more into it because it is gnarly. Plaxico Burris, he had to... Do some jail time because he shot himself with a gun in a New York City club. And in New York, they take guns very seriously. And they made an example out of Plaxico by sending him to prison for a couple of years. He was on HBO's Real Sports talking about how he shot himself that night. He was talking to Brian Gumbel about it. I had a drink in my left hand, just walking up the stairs. And it was dark. I kind of. You know, missed a step. That's when I felt, you know, my gun started to slide. I just went to grab it and stop it from falling. Did you know right away you shot yourself? No. I knew it had went off. I saw the fire, like, come through my jeans. But you didn't feel any pain right away? No, not right there. I took a couple more steps, and my jeans were like, my jeans are wet. I looked down, I had some Chuck Taylors on. The white was all red. I said, oh, I'm in trouble.
You know, at the other station, I had talked to Plax not very long before he got arrested. And he seemed like an okay guy, you know. We had a lot of fun talking on the phone when he did this interview. And he was, you know, he seemed like an okay guy. He sounds great. Oh, wow. L.O.B. L.O.B. likes her some NFL. Well. Wow. She likes her some black eyes. I think it's a strong affinity. A very strong affinity towards them. Bottom line, Plexico, do you have to have a great year to complete this story of redemption? I've already had a great year. Everything else is going to be the icing on the cake. I understand you don't have your guns anymore. Nah, man. I just don't want to be around nothing negative. I walk around every day with my head held high. Yeah, I'm the guy that shot myself. People always ask me, did you change that situation? I say, man, hell yeah. Nobody wants to go to jail, but the person that I am and where I'm at at this time, I wouldn't change the person. There he is, Plaxico Burris. Plaxico, do you go to the outlet stores to Ralph Lauren? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. You do? So you like the new products? Hell yeah. Do you like the cologne or do you like the... Hell yeah.
What do you think about it? Hell yeah. Question. You know how the horse is bigger on the shirt? Yeah. You like the bigger horse? I like the little one. The little horse? Why? I ain't all flashy with the big polo symbol. You like the little horse? Yeah. Hell yeah. You shot yourself in the leg. Why? It was an accident. It was an accident. I didn't mean to. Did it hurt? I wouldn't do it again. Hell no, it didn't hurt. Hell no, it didn't hurt. It hurt later. But you shot yourself in the leg. Yeah, I didn't even notice. I was hammered. You went to prison. Why? I shot myself in the leg. That's right. You should have just asked me that. I know. You're out of prison now. Why? Because I had served my time. Shouldn't want to go to jail for a long time? I did. You did? Yeah, three, four years, man. Why? Because I shot myself in the leg. Oh, yeah. You said that. I believe this is the year that we're going to win the Super Bowl. You're going to jet, man.
Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown, Jets! The Jets have landed. Let's go first. Oh, my goodness. They're building something special around here. Burris expected to practice today with the Jets. Burris has been sidelined after an MRI revealed Friday that the wide receiver had suffered a sprained left ankle. He missed the Jets' preseason opener against Houston. Join now for the Jets practice facility in Florham Park, New Jersey by our ESPN's Rachel Nichols. Rachel Plexico Burris says he's going to return to practice today for the first time since spraining that ankle. What can we expect from him? You know, this turned into a pretty significant situation. Well, Lisa, you can expect no firearms. I talked to Plaxico earlier this week, and he has assured me that he will not bring any firearms here to camp. Now, when questioned further, I asked him, how will you keep yourself from bringing firearms? After all, you love them. He answered by saying, I'll keep them at home, locked in a safe. I said to him, Plaxico, how do we know that's true? And he held up his hand and said, scout's honor.
To my defense, he had two fingers behind his back that were crossed. Classico came out of prison and was on a pretty regimented workout program. He looked leaner, sharper, even better, some of the guys who worked out with him said, than when he went into prison. Now he's had two weeks off, and it's not just any two weeks, London. Weeks where he could have been doing seven-on-seven drills, a preseason game, things that he... LOB is fond of seven-on-seven drills. ...couldn't get in those post-prison workouts. So Jets want to get him into that kind of stuff as quickly as possible. The only thing they do have going for him is it's not like he's been just... out of the picture. He's been in the meeting rooms. He's been talking to his new teammates. He's apparently been a good contributor there, and he's been bonding with quarterback Mark Sanchez. The two have not only been talking about what they want to do on the field, they went out to dinner last week, and Mark joked that he tried to find a Mexican restaurant to go to because, hey, he's the NFL's only Mexican-American starting quarterback. He gets free meals. That's because Jeff Garcia is no longer in the league. Plastico said, no way. He was making the kid pay.
You think my dad likes him because he's Mexican? A hundred percent. Holy cow. They say it's your birthday. Calling someone who is having a birthday today and wake them up by air horn. It's just an idea we have. We're calling M1 Kate. Not to call her M1 and just say Kate. Call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Let's try another one. M1 Jared. Hello. Good morning. Sorry to bother you. Is Jared available, please? How old, Jared? Oh, hi. I'm 31. 31. It's all downhill, pal. Good age. 31's good. You're not too old. You're not too young. That's right. That's right. You married? I'm not. I'm single. Don't worry about it, buddy. You know, the median age now is a lot older. People are taking their time making sure it's the right bit. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. All right. Well, enjoy the rest of your day, Jared. We love you. M1 Nation. Happy birthday, pal. Get some.
Thank you for the freaking air horn. You got it. The freaking air horn. The freaking air horn. Let's try Kate again. Yeah, if I don't wake somebody up the first time, I don't have any problems trying it again. Zero percent. Sorry to wake you there, Cookie. Is Kate available? Happy birthday. Hey. Hey, guys. Happy birthday. Hey. Today, Kate turns years old. All right. 18. 18 years of age. Legal. You going to do anything to celebrate tonight? Yeah, we're in the Cape, so we're going to do the beach thing. Is it Jackie Kennedy? Yeah, I'm in a Cape, too. What do you want from me? Well, have a good time. Happy birthday. And we love you from the Mikey Show. Yeah, see the pictures. Oh, wow, Jay. Jay. Get on a yacht.
Yeah, in a bikini. That's right. Oh, wow. Thank you. Thank you very much. Bye, Kate. Bye, Kate. Let's play buzzword. 5701949. All right, buzzword, the way that it works is you call us right now, 5701949. Jay's going to give us a word. Then he's going to give us hints to the word. I'm going to tell you right now, Lauren's going to win. Yes, I am. There's not even a reason for it. She wins every time. She guarantees a win. It's not working anymore. It's not working. She's been slaying. She's encouraging me. She's not going to win. She is not going to win this one. She has no chance. She will not win. You have no chance of winning. Her brain's not working very well this morning. Nope, she can't do it. She's very slow. Cannot do it. Very slow. All right, what's the prize, Jay? The prize is lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. All right, cool. Yeah! 570-1949. You're going to call and pick L-O-B, me, or Woods. And the prize is lunch at Surf Brothers Teriyaki, which is good. Delicious. I can eat it every single day. It's so good.
What couldn't you eat every single day? Not any. Just take the wind right out of your sails. Just saying something nice, that's all. Just take the wind right out of your cells. Cells. Trying to do the right thing. M1 Rick from Escondido, who do you want? L.O.B. Of course you do. Of course you do. Hang on the line. I lost my highlighter while I was windmilling. Yeah, she was windmill spanking. M1 Jake from San Diego, who do you want? Mikey. Oh, wow, look at you. Great. Well, you're taken last by M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Hang on, Ninja, okay? Okay. Hang on a line. All right, what's the word, Jay? What's the word, dude? Today's word is friend. Friend. Spell it. F-R-I-E-N-D. All right, so the clue will have the word friend in it. Yes, indeed. All right, let's do it. A friend in need. It's a friend in need. Well, we give that a tie.
Woods and Loran. How does it work a friend in need is a friend indeed? Or with weed. Okay. Only your pal in good times. What's a pal? Fear with a friend! Yep, there you go. Only your pal in good times. Pal. Pal? Pal. Pal. Pal. Pal. Woods figured it out. I got it. Pal! Ally or enemy? Friend or foe? Keep your friends close. Mikey. Wow, I love it. Gee, I wonder what L.O.B. had in her head. Easy sun suit. No, I didn't, I didn't. Here we go. TV shows. Friends! There you go. Oh, come on. Not a couple. Friends with benefits! Just friends? There you go. Oh, look at you. Son of a... Mikey, all calm. This guy jinxed me. Friends with benefits.
Wow. Out of nowhere. She's so slow. Shut up! She's real slow. A loved one or a pal in plumage? Feathery friend! Feathery friend? Feathered friend! Birds of a feather stick of friends. Feathered friend! I'm going to give it to Woods. It's fine-feathered friend. Fine-feathered friend. Oh, yeah, because that's what he said. I said fair-feathered friend. It's not the same thing. What's the score? Me, one. Mikey, two. Woods, four. Is it? Isn't it? Okay. Julia Roberts. My best friend's one! Yes, there you go. Oh, wow. She busted her vocal cords on that one. Busted those vocal cords right out. Did she blow them right out? Randy Newman's Toy Story Thunder. You're a friend of me! Yep, there you go. Good job. Friend in me. Dang it. I'm back. Gosh, darn it. Easy to operate. Friendly. Fire friendly. Dummy friendly. User friendly. User friendly. User friendly. User friendly. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. Oh, L.O.P. is upset with that one. She had it in the brain. Couldn't come out. I said fire friendly at first. I said dummy friendly.
What's the score, L.O.B.? Damn. I'm out of the game. L.O.B. 3, Mike 2, Woods 5. Okay. We're going to do a couple three-pointers. All right. I can get back in it. What is it? The new word is pants. P-A-N-T-S. Pants. Pants on the ground. With little or... No pants on! With little money or planning. Fly by the city of Pants! Yes. I nailed you. I don't think you did. I think it was the same time. I had my head down. I think it was the same time. I can't wait till we get those buzzers. I can't wait till we get those buzzers. Here we go. What was it? It was yelled out at the same time. By the seat of your pants. By the seat of your pants. He said fly by the seat of your pants. I said by the seat of your pants. Go ahead. But it both has the answer in it. Shut it. Boxers or briefs? Underpants! Underpants! Underpants! Underpants! Panceless! Underpants is the answer. That's what... He said. That's it. That's it. Beast! Beast! M1 Ninja, you chose last, but you finished first with Woods. I'm back! Congratulations. You get lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. Hang on a line, okay? You did very well in your choosing. That's all I'm going to tell you. Woods, you don't have to do the thrust. Disgusting. Wow. Hey, President Obama.
Are you in any way worried about there being a terrorist attack on 9-11? Well, you'll hear the audio of them. And it's tough because what are you going to say? Either way, whatever you say, you sound... It's a no-win situation. Also coming up next, imagations. We will reach into a basket and pull out a dialect that Jay will have to do. It's a way to get revenge on Jay for all those little facts. Coming up next. And now Kia presents Surprising But True.
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This report is brought to you by USAA. USAA's commitment to serving the financial needs of the military vets and their families. It's now closer to home. Visit the new USAA Financial Center at Fenton Marketplace. Well, we've got some backup this morning. A lot of slowing in different areas. A 15 northbound between the 5 and the 94. It's in the teens there. It's pretty slow everywhere, actually, like that. In La Mesa on the 125 southbound between Amaya Drive and the 8. And the 163 northbound between the 5 and Genesee Avenue. It's stop and go, and you've got delays in the teens. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Make an appointment with your experts. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Me of high school, the Hooters, day by day. Can you imagine two good friends from New York? Back in the day, 1989, Danny and Terry just...
Roll into the Hooters concert together. Man, I love Hooters. Yeah, dude. Hey, guess what? October 22nd. Freaking write it down. Nassau Coliseum. Hooties! Hooties! Hooties! Freaking Hooties! Hooties! Hooties! Hooties! Hooties! Hooties! Freaking Hooties! You know what I'm talking about, baby? Me and you and a freaking Hooties! Hooties! My dream is to one day meet the freaking Hooties. Oh, my God. Don't talk crazy. You're never going to meet the Hooties, all right? Dude, we can't meet the Hooties. Stop getting my own stuff. Yeah, you can. Dream big, Danny boy. Dream big, Danny boy. Don't put thoughts in his head. I'm getting a tattoo. I'm taking her with me. And I'm getting a tattoo today, Seth Hooties. Shut up. The Hooties is coming. They're coming. Go Hooties. I'm getting Hooties on my Hooties. Yes.
Show us your hooters. Let me tell you something. I am having spray painted on the side of my Thunderbird and my IROC. Hooters. You know what, man? People can keep the freaking Bon Jovi. Keep it. Keep it, man. Bunch of freaking fairies with long hair. The hooters. I can't wait. I can't wait. The funniest part of Danny and Terry is that they had to have existed. And they did. They did. They did. They did exist. The two guys on Long Island that were huge Hooters fans. I can't believe it. Where are they now? Eight o'clock. That is a true statement is coming up. Obama stuff coming up in just a second. We haven't heard from him for a long time. Maybe because he hasn't had anything to complain about. But he's back. Yeah. This is Uncle Victor Fudd. Quit leaving the door open. You stupid ass.
When you do, you let all the cold air out, and I'm paying for the air conditioning. So, how many times have I told you, don't leave it open? What the hell's wrong with you? If you leave, close the door. What do you have to have the door for so much anyway? It doesn't make any sense to me. If I have to come home and close one more door, I'm going to freak out. Something's just freaking out already. Guy's Italian, you know, he just... Hot-tempered. He's got a hot temper. Oh, that's good. So he'll freak out every once in a while. I haven't said bargain yet. When I do, please be calling 9 to get yourself park hopper tickets to Legoland. Yeah, so Obama got asked about 9-11 coming up and the anniversary of 9-11, and is he afraid of terrorist attacks? The risk is always there. And obviously on a seminal event like the 10th anniversary of 9-11...
That makes us more concerned. It means we've got heightened awareness. The biggest concern we have right now is not the launching of a major terrorist operation, although that risk is always there. The risk that we're especially concerned of right now is the lone wolf terrorist, somebody with a single weapon being able to carry out wide-scale massacres of the sort that we saw in Norway recently. I'll tell you, this guy's approval ratings are lower than they've ever been. In fact, lower than President Bush's were, certainly in Bush's first term. Bush's approval ratings didn't go this low, as low as Obama's are, until his second term after Katrina. And I am telling you, I believe that the biggest reason for that was because Bush sounded like a dodo. He sounded like a dodo. But when you listen to Obama...
Man, does he sound presidential. The risk is always there. Oh, does he sound like an adult? He sounds like a solid adult person. Seminal event like the 10th anniversary of nine. You know, I'll tell you, it isn't the threat of where it's come from. That's what Bush used to sound like. Drive you nuts. It would drive you nuts. And it sounded like he was dumb. It's not necessarily... That's what we have to worry about. And people were like, oh my gosh, what a bumbling idiot. If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck. Probably a duck. I say, this Obama, he's able to pull it off, though. I mean, our economy is in the pooper. We got unemployment really high right now. The country is in a... terrible state but he sounds good so i think you can look like a duck and talk like a duck and and actually bark that makes us more concerned it means we've got heightened awareness oh he is let me tell you if i had if i was going to be hiring somebody to be my spokesperson that guy oh he sounds good
I'm telling you. Sounds like a one-term president to me. I think he might be. But then you look it over the GOP, it stinks. You got over there, you got Michelle Bachman, who's a dodo. Crazy person. Michelle Bachman, by the way, I don't know if you heard this, yesterday, she couldn't figure out if it was Elvis' birthday or the anniversary of his death. Oh, boy. Can we please tell... Please tell... female candidates to stop yelling. Screaming. You sound like our moms when they were mad. Or our wives when they're mad. When they're angry. True. I'm just saying. And I think you're okay if you just say, I'm just saying, after everything that you say that's controversial, if you say, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Hey, female politicians, don't yell. You sound annoying and you bother people. I'm just saying. Just saying. I'm just saying. You're fine.
Howard Dean was not really easy to listen to. That's true. No, he was not. He was a lunatic. He's a man. He was not. But for the most part... Just saying. It's okay. I accept it. But for the most part... Thank you, Howard. Howard Dean. LLB has her Michelle Bachman t-shirt and her band on today. No, no, no. I have my women t-shirt. It's not his birthday. It's not his birthday. He died. He actually died on this day. Happy birthday! We played you a little bit of promised land when we pulled up. You can't do better than... Hang on, hang on. What? Excuse me, Ms. Bachman. What? It's actually the anniversary of his death. 34 years. Oh, dear. Yeah. Take that foot out of your mouth. I don't know what you can do, but... Take your foot out of your mouth, for one. God rest his soul. Yeah, that's probably a good touch.
Elvis Presley, we thought we'd celebrate his birthday. Oh, boy. Ms. Bachman, it's on his birthday. Remember, I just told him. I just had said that. As we get started, the celebrating Take Our Country Back. That voice cutting through my brain like nails, man. Oof. It should be the easiest win for the GOP. It should be... Find one guy. Yeah. All you got to do is show up. Yeah, just show up, have a semi-clean record and background, and be a decent public speaker, and you're probably good to go. You're going to be the president. What I do, Mr. President, is you ain't nothing but a hound dog. Happy birthday, Elvis. Yay. Yeah, get her off the stage. Darn it. Also, someone tell this.
Intern to get off my blue suede shoes. Yeah. We're done. I just came for the free sandwiches. Oh, man. Mitt Romney, Michelle Bachman, and that's somebody else. Romney's all right. Who? Romney's okay. Newt. He's okay. Oh, and Rick Perry from Texas. Oh, boy. Those are going to be the big three. Oh, boy. Unless somebody else steps up to the plate. I don't know why they wouldn't want to. Sarah Palin, maybe? Oh, boy. That'd be great. All right, let's do imagations. Oh, yes. All right, I'm going to reach into... Where is my imagations? Oh, in the basket. It's in the basket. It's in the basket. Okay. There they are. Here we go. All right, I'm ready to do this. All right, Jay. Yes. I am going to give you... I'm going to give you... The voice, and I'm going to tell you what you're going to be doing, and you just have to become that person. Are you ready? Get into your zone. Get into your zone. I'm in it. Here we go. You are an East L.A. gang member. Hey, Mikey. Hey, man, what are you doing later? We're going to go steal a car. Come on, man. What are you doing? Come on, blood. What are you doing? Come on, dude. I'm not a blood. I'm a...
Come on, you're a crip? Oh, man. I'm not a crip. Take off the red bandana, bruddy. Bruddy, listen to me. Bruddy, come on. I am not a blood. Come on, man. I'm a crip. Let's do this. Okay, what are we going to do? Let's take woods out behind the woodshed. Yes, because an East L.A. gang member would say, I got a woodshed, man. I got a woodshed. I'm back. Brother. You can take. You can take the guy out of the South. Can't take the South. Can't take the South out of the guy. What is bruddy? You know, it's like, it's a gang term, man. It's like, hey, you're my bruddy. You're my bruddy. It's what you say if you're a, if you're a crip, you put an R. Dude, you would know. Bruddy. Let's go from Benchiladas. Thank you. Outstanding. Thank you, Jay. Out. Hey, is that you, Lowrider? He's enjoying it. He is. He's quite enjoying it. Oh, my God. Are you ready for your next voice, Jay? For your next imagination? Let's do this. All right, here we go. For your next voice. A very proud... Thank you very much. Is this your tonight show? Yes. I'm so happy that you came to my dojo. Now we'll commence your training. You are short. Sensei, are you a blood or a crab? You will be high. Sorry? The hell? Grab my sword.
You what? My other sword. Okay. Oh, my God. What are you teaching today? I am going to teach you. I came here to learn how to be a shogun warrior. Oh, same thing. Okay. So first, how do we get started? Why don't you wax my car? Sorry? Wax my car. I heard you said I was sorry. Whack on. Whack on. Don't do that. You do some laundry. Okay, thank you. That is a very proud. Holy. That's a very proud Shogun warrior. She thought it couldn't get better. But it actually can, because next... Oh, I thought we were done. Oh, no. Next, ladies and gentlemen. Can I get a hallelujah? Brothers and sisters in the choir, can you see me at amen? Amen. I'm not going to commiserate. I'm not going to regenerate. I'm not going to masturbate. Okay.
What I'm going to do. What the hell? Is believe. Believe. Okay. We heard you. Believe what? What I want from you now is a lot of your money. Okay. That's the plate. All right. I'm not talking about the dinner plate. Don't know why I did this. Don't know why. Thank you. That is. That is. Jason Farris Bell. Thank you. Brothers and sisters. Southern Baptist. Dancing. Absolutely. Just absolutely creepy. Thank you, Jesus. Everything else is just as creepy as everything that he does. The creepiest thing you've ever had. I don't think I hurt myself. Oh, my gosh. What was your favorite? I'm tearing. I like that the sensei or the shogun master was the same as the gang member. Dear Sondari, how can I make Mikey come out of his skin today? I know. I'll mention Master Mikey as I'm being a Southern Baptist minister.
That should teach him. Signed, Jacef R. Isabel. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I love it. Well, there it is, ladies and gentlemen. That's Imagations. And probably one of, probably an M1 favorite. If you're an M1, you love yourself some Imagations. Oh, my God. Call in, turn your radio down, get to the point. Let's see. Opposites do attract. I am so different from my wife. Jay, just hang on. I know you're... I'm chomping at the bit. I just want to talk about how different you are. Say more, please. She's attractive. You're ugly. She's skinny. You're not. You're fat. Your jugs are bigger. Here's what I want to know. Is there anybody listening that finds that there is a certain segment of people that you attract?
For absolutely no reason. You don't know why. But there's a certain segment of the population. They love you. And is there a certain segment of the population that it doesn't matter what you do. They don't like you. You're not landing. In other words, let's say that you're attracted to a black girl. Everything you can do in your lifetime, you've done. It's not going to happen. But you can't keep Asian girls off of you. It doesn't matter where. You could be sitting with your wife at your wedding vows being renewed. And there's going to be an Asian girl walk up to you and go, hi, how you doing? You single? Well, no, I'm renewing my vows here at the podium. But I want to know, who do you attract? 570-1949. Or who do you like? It's just never going to happen. For me, Rebecca is perfect because she's shorter than me. Before Rebecca.
Pretty much my whole life, I've been attracted to very tall women. Never have been with one. Of course. I'm 5'6". It's not going to happen. I never learned my lesson. I always tried. They're not interested. Every tall girl wants to be with a guy taller than them so that they don't have to wear flats. I'd have to wear Gene Simmons boots. to go out with a tall girl and even then i'd be shorter or even those go-go boots with the goldfish swimming in the bottom even those i'm gonna be shorter but who do you attract 570-1949 or who are you have you always been like oh man i'm so attractive but It never happens. Woods? Fat girls like me. Asian girls don't. Wow. And you've liked Asian girls, tried to date Asian girls. They do not like you, and you're never going to get an Asian... Well, you're married now, but... I'm married, yeah, but... If you wanted to date an Asian girl, you couldn't date an Asian girl back in the day. They just weren't interested. I had a lot of friends that were really into them, and they all were able to take care of business. I was not. Could never. You would flirt. Oh, yeah. You would do your thing. You would do the whole bit. Nothing. Nothing. I mean, like, almost repulse them, I think.
And you're telling me, I don't like the term fat, but let's say, you know, pleasantly plump. Chubby. Okay, I'm chubby. You know, I'll say that. Chunky. Chunky. Bigger girls. Okay, fine. Big boned. Right. Thick. Got it. Pig-like. Oh, wow. That one was so far over the edge. Really? I mean, just really. Well, that's what we did. I don't care if you're joking. It's too much. Well, we used to call it hogging. Oh, my gosh. Jay knows about hogging. We've all done it. Slump buster. Slump buster, yeah. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. So, I broke a few slumps in my day. Yeah. Just like a moped. Yeah. Chunky girls liked you. Oh, yeah. All the way in. All right. I don't know why. How about you, LLB? Was there a certain segment of society that was attracted to you and that you were attracted to? Well, I think it goes both ways with the black men. I seem to attract them. And you are attracted. I am attracted to them. Hello, Bree. Yes. No one in our listening audience is able to see a black person of any age, gender that is black and not think in our heads.
L.O.B. We're not able to. She had a 95-year-old black woman crossing the street, and I go, L.O.B. Matt was walking behind me in the airport, and we landed in Philly, and he was behind me going, one, two, three. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm counting the black guys to check out your butt. Oh, wow. Wow. That's her thing. It's a bit. The black dudes love L.O.B. She likes the black guys. 570-1949. Tell us who you are attracted to and who is attracted to you. M1 Dave, are you there? I am here. So who do you attract? I've had salt and pepper and gray hair since the age of 25. Yeah. It's one of those guys that's just early gray, man. Right. I always attract girls with major daddy issues. Really? Nothing wrong with that. Do they make duck face in their pictures? Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. believes that.
Duck face is indicative of daddy issues, which I disagree, but she believes it. So how do you know they have daddy issues? Well, first girl I ever went out with, her dad was a Christian fundamentalist. My kid. Oh, wow. Second one, abusive alcoholic. I married a girl whose dad took off from her when she took off when she was like 12 years old. Finally had to divorce her because she went nuts. Another girl I'm going out with, she doesn't even know who her dad is. You are. Congratulations. I turned into a father figure. There's worse things that can happen, pal. That's it. You've always looked like a father figure. There you go. I don't blame you, bro. I don't blame you. Who are you attracted to? Who do you find attractive? I like skinny Mexicans with big boobs. And they don't like you? Oh. Well, the one I'm going out with does, but as I say, she doesn't know where her dad is, and she's going kind enough. Yeah, the skinny Mexicans with big boobs like you as long as they have daddy issues. Yeah, that's a fact. There you go. Thank you for the call. 570-1949. Who's attracted to you? Who are you attracted to? There's nothing you could do about it anyway. How many people do you think are wrongly declared dead every year because of their Social Security? I'll tell you. With everything in this country tied up in the court systems, I think we need a little more of this.
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This report brought to you by Farmers Insurance. Don't have a Farmers Insurance agent? Well, you may not be saving as much as you could. Farmers has dozens of discounts. They could save you hundreds of dollars. Just call Farmers Agent Charles Phillips. His number is 619-585-3484. Start saving. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Search Head with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning brought to you by Frost Brewed Coors Light. It's how San Diego breaks. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Today, as we see a decrease in the old west-southwest, west-northwest swell combination, we are seeing some new but very spotty south swell. Really kind of steep for our area. It's pretty much running right by us. So surf, on average, is running in that ankle, knee, waist-high zone. Maybe a rare plus on that. Top open spots, though, that are seeing that south-southwest at least well. Can't see set through that chest-to-shoulder-high-plus range, but, again, much further up north than most of our local areas. He's east of sunshine is starting to show on the inland side of the coastline. Kind of overcast right along the main coast, though. Wind's light and variable, not much of an effect there. Another big issue is the low tide that we have since passed, but it's pretty darn low.
So that is affecting size and shape in all areas. Look for some improvements size-wise and shape-wise later in the morning as that tide fills in until it's about 5 foot high around noon. So that will have a difference on most areas, too. Beach breaks pretty walled up. Reef breaks looking a little bit better on those rare sets, especially the top summer-facing areas. Water tap pretty warm, about 66 degrees, too. So it looks like we'll have some kind of edible surf once again today. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. Surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best movie ever made, Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jay. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. 8 o'clock, that's a true statement. It always stings, but it's lots of fun. Here's what they say. M1 Night Scream says, OMG, that Southern Baptist voice that Jay did has got to be the funniest one yet. My coworkers are looking at me like I lost my mind because I'm laughing like a hyena on crack. And the topic of conversation is opposites attract.
We got a text from M1 Spideyaholic. He says, Mikey, I absolutely love petite little rocker chicks. And I always, without fail, attracted the gamer nerd girl. I used to flip out whenever she would say, I love computers. I would not be mad at that. The nerdy chick? I love the nerdy girl. I love the nerdy girl. Not you, Woods? No. I also have an affinity for the tattooed, sleeved-up rocker girl. I couldn't get one of those girls. And if I had a $100 bill hanging out of my zipper, there's not a chance. Well, it's because it's hanging out of your zipper, which is weird. This guy says, I'm a blonde-haired, blue-eyed guy, and I attract Asians, Mexicans, Hawaiians, and mostly... Oh, no, no, no. This is a girl.
She says, I'm a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. I attract Asians, Mexicans, Hawaiians, and mostly tall, thin guys. It's not weird that I married a tall Japanese mixed dude. So call us. 570-1949. And tell us who it is that you attract. The idea here is that it's usually that somebody that doesn't have anything to do with you. It's an opposite. And the people that you want to attract, you have no ability in the world to. M1Joy wrote in and said on our Facebook page, facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you know when you walk into a room and you see people that you already know and you don't want to make eye contact with them? Those are the ones that gravitate towards me. Easy money to bet on. Me too. They just gravitate. See, I have blonde hair and blue eyes and I'm not attracted to guys with blonde hair. Well, blue eyes, but on dark hair. Blue eyes. Lauren's got blue eyes. Let's see. This is M1 Pool Guy from San Diego. Hi, Pool Guy. Hey, Mikey. Who do you attract? Because I'm straight as an arrow, I attract gay men. Now, how does it happen and what does it look like and what do they do? Last Wednesday, I give out my number.
to my customers if they need something fixed or whatever to get in contact with me. I had a strange number text me, and basically he was proposing that he wanted to give me a BJ. Oh, wow. And this was a customer? It was, you know, I thought it was a friend playing a joke on me, and I kept, you know, going, like, you know, other than just a joke, and the guy didn't want to say who he was, and finally he told me who he was. He was one of my customers, and I would never have guessed it meeting the guy. So did you go over there? Oh, Woods. How was it? How did you say no? I'm assuming you said no. How did you do that? I said no very, very broadly. I just said no, and then the guy, I mean, it was over text message, and the guy was like, oh, no, it's going to be awkward, and I'm just like, I just ignored him after that. I'm trying to hopefully give that account to somebody else. That's the way most porn movies start. I'm here to clean your poo. That's fair enough, dude. That's fair enough. Let's see. M1 Love from Poway, are you there? Who do you attract? Black guys. Yeah. You're a white girl? Middle Eastern. And the black guys love you. I look like Mexican or Italian. People don't believe me when I say I'm Middle Eastern. Yep. I'm shorter. I'm small everywhere, but I have junk in my trunk. Yeah. I wear flip-flops in a SoCal shirt. Come on. I'm 100% Mexican. People have thought that I'm Middle Eastern. 100%. Yeah, you do look Middle Eastern, but I know you're Mexican.
I look Middle Eastern. You also look like a crooked sheriff, just in case. And you do drive a cab, so... I guess I fit into all those stereotypes, because I do. I drive a cab. You've got a beaded seat that you sit on. I wear sunglasses that make me look like a crooked sheriff, and I look like a Middle Eastern. A beaded seat. A beaded steering wheel. You know, if you... Let me tell you something I'm one love. If you're only able to marry people of Middle Eastern descent, then you could at least get away with dating me. Oh, my gosh. Because I will tell you, I dated a girl whose name was Rola, and her parents were Palestinian, okay? And she could not date anybody but Palestinian. And they were okay with it because they thought when they took one look at me. Oh, yeah, he has to be okay. Pal, quit running your mouth. I need to get to the sports arena, like, ASAP. I'm not a cab driver. Aren't you? No. You're sitting in a cab on a beaded seat with your light on. Meter's running. Meter's running. I understand that, but this is just my automobile. This is what I drive to. I do it morning on FM 94. We're not out-of-towners. Don't try to fool us. You're not going to kudetam me, pal. No, no, no, no. You don't understand. You have to get out of my car. This is not toxic. Just take the five. Yeah, please. Step on it. Just take the five.
This happens a lot. I am not a taxi cab driver. No, I am not. I do the morning on the FM 94.9. My name is Mikey. I have a billboard of me from the past with a hand over the eye. Easy name job. Yeah, come on. I just need to get to the sports arena. Please try to let me reason with you. I got it. Yeah, yeah. Be different. Just get me to the freaking sports arena right now. All right. Yeah, Jesus, Jesus, I got it. Just get me to the sports arena, okay? Here, here, here. Psalms, Proverbs, a whole bit. Just get us there. Please do not make fun of my religion. I'm not making fun. No sexual marriage. Yeah, no sexual marriage. The whole thing. I am not saying any of this to you. I am trying to be at stoplight and you crawl into the back of my car. And this is not even taxicab. Isn't it? It's a BMW for crying out loud. I look this way, but I am not. It does not mean... Why are you playing India's greatest hits? Because my friend Jay has remote control and he does this where he thinks it's a joke to play this on me and it go off at a random time.
Seriously, I'm running late. Yeah, you've been talking for five minutes. My meter's just running. I am parked here in parking lot with Denny because I can't. You're in the cab loading zone. Move it. Please let me reason with you, people. I am not cab diver. I look like one. I am not. I am Mikey in Morning Show. Is this your sister? No, it isn't. I don't know where this came from. It's a vibe. Is it ringtone? No, it is not. It's your wife, Rebecca. Shut up. Singing. M1 Ray from Poway. Who do you attract? Unfortunately, I attract the old ladies. How old are you?
I'm 34. How old are the ladies? Dying. Well, hello, dear. Hello, Raymond. Hello, Raymond. So, what are you doing later? Because I'm dying. You'd like to rub my bunion. That's right. I'll be dead by five, dear. So, I say you and I, we go down right now to Applebee's. We enjoy the early bird special. And then we enjoy the early late special. Wiener time. Afternoon special. That was easy. Let me take this band out of the back of my long gray hair. Oh, my God. Please don't. And let my long gray spill down like a beautiful waterfall. You know, back in 1932, I did that. My dear husband, Edgar, smiled at me from across the buffet. He gave me that coy look that says, you're covering your breasts with your long gray hair. The carbon match to Dre, so... Furry and brown. Shut up. Disgusting, Jay. Jay. Jay. Gosh, darn it. Bit killer. Bit killer. Smells like carrots and throw-ups. Stop it already.
M1 Sticky Fingers from San Diego. You there? Yeah. Who do you attract? I, unfortunately, attract 35-year-old gay black men. Whoa. Wow. Very specific. I swear, it happens more often than not, but the most recent one would have to be at Olive Garden. He was a waiter, and he wouldn't give my girlfriend a second of his time, but, of course, he spent all his time talking to me and putting extra cheese on my food. Yep. It's a code for something? Yeah. We'll make this one special for you. Any chance he could come back to the table, he would come back and try to talk to me. I don't know if she needs anything. Do you need anything? Do you need more salad? That's right. Can I get you anything? You know that's bottomless. Bottomless. Bottomless salad. There ain't no bottom to it. He basically forces out of the restaurant with his kindness, I guess you could say. Wow. Touching my back and a little bit too much. Who is that? Your sister? I need your sister, Crocodile Jack. Well, that is a very particular group that you attract. That happens to me too. When I'm with Matt, always. What happens? He gets hit on by gay guys and also older women. But same thing, if we have a waiter, all the attention goes to him and then I'm like this piece of garbage sitting next to him. My wife never has to worry about anybody flirting with me. I haven't been hit on in four years. I haven't been hit on in 15 years.
It's a true statement. Seriously, mine is too. Well, mine's a lie. It's probably been longer. I think you're both lying. No, I haven't. I swear, I have not had a girl be like, hey, what? I've heard about. I'm happy. Listen, I'm a happily married man. I'm just telling you, you want to feel like a lion. You want to feel like a lion. I want to walk in a bar or something and some girl go, gosh, that guy's good looking. Well, you know your wife and my wife probably get hit on all the time and they spare us the details. The time. Oh, I get the details. It just feels good. I get the details. Listen, I don't want to. I don't need them. I got enough to worry about. Girl closes a lot of business. Like real business. Oh, my gosh. She's been cheating on you? No, real business. He doesn't care. Shut up. Oh, that's right. I don't care about my wife. He says, I don't care about my wife, and I don't care if she cheats. I said, I'm not jealous. I'm not a jealous guy. She comes in and tells me how she bats her eyes and gets deals closed. Was that code for something? No. Yeah. I mean, she bats her pretty blue eyes. People haven't batted their eyes since 1922. She does. It works. 570-1949 is the number. Oh, yeah. Speaking of my wife, and I don't know if she'll come on the air and talk about this, but we were out to dinner the other night, and she told me, I knew we had...
Family photos coming up. We're going to be taking family photos. How did you know? Is it a once a year deal? Yeah, she wrote me an email a long time ago and said, save the date. We're going to get family photos taken. Because last year you weren't in them. Last year I had just had surgery and we had planned for the family photos. And I said, do it anyway. Just go take pictures of the kids. She wasn't going to be in them. It was just going to be pictures of the kids. But the lady said, get in there for a few of them. And they look so cute we kept them. And no skin off your back either. You're watching football. It's fine. Best picture ever. Anyway, so this year we're doing the family photo retake. And so we talked about it the other day at dinner. And we were out to dinner. And she said, I have to tell you about the family photos. We're going to do a thing where we are. Because I asked, what is it? Where are we? What are we doing? Just out of curiosity. And even knowing the answer now, I don't care. I don't care. Whatever. I mean. Talk about pick your battles. It's her call. Her call. It's just that when she told me, I went, for real? We're going to sit at a table, and I'm going to pretend I'm on my laptop, and the kids are going to be doing crazy things. That's cute. Is it? I like it. It's artistic. No, his son Jake is artistic. Artistic. It's real life. Jake's artistic. Yeah, it captures you in your house.
You should just be in the bed with just a sheet kind of draped across you. Just on your stomach with an iPad in front of you? A little butt cheek showing. Aren't you guys shocked? I'm very shocked. I am. Well, you know, don't you picture her doing like the classy, elegant, you know? I picture like you on your laptop and then Rebecca as like a 1950s like housewife doing stuff in the background and then the kids. Like monkeying around. That's what we're going to do. Yeah. Sounds awesome. It's just not what I expected. You know, I like it different, dude. It could be worse. You know how it could be worse? Babe, we're all in white and we're all going to the beach or we're all going to stand around the pool or we're all, but we're all wearing matching. We're all going to jump at the same time. Yeah, we're all going to jump at the same time. It's out of the norm. That's pretty cool. What are we going to do with that? Where are we putting that? Where do you display that? Christmas card. All right. That's pretty good. Okay. I think you guys should do it in here. Bring the kids in, running around in the studio. That just made me want to get sick. You should have your headphones on and be on your laptop. Double check yourself out. How about we just take a picture, you know, like a family? Yeah, like an Olin Mills pastoral countryside behind you. Doesn't have to be that. Doesn't have to be that. You're pretty rad. Just take a picture, man. I like it. I'm impressed. I was worried.
That it was going to be something really strange. That's not strange. It's aggressive. It's not strange. I said, why don't we do dogs playing poker? That's what it sounds like. That's pretty good. Oh, God. How about you guys play poker and you reenact the dogs playing poker? She's got a lady LOB that's going to buy clothes for me. Did. She goes, she also said that she'll be your personal shopper. I said. Easy Ivanka. Easy Hollywood. So it's like all Tommy Bahama line? Yeah. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. I don't wear it. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. You don't not wear it. Well, maybe not for this photo shoot. Well, you know what you guys should do? Is do one in a tropical paradise so that you feel really, really at all. That'd probably be best. That wouldn't make sense since I don't like Tommy Bahama. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. It's a joke. You love it. Don't love it at all. Don't wear it. Don't wear it. You have towels. You have comforters. Chairs. I have a towel. I have a chair. It was all gifts. How's the comfort, by the way? You like it? You like it? Of course you do. Of course you do. Put TB on a turd. That guy's buying it. Off Amazon, probably. Taylor Swift recently did a concert where a big gust of wind came and blew her dress up. And underneath was... It's not Skeletor. That's Terminator's wife. You think you got something worth adding to the Mikey show? In action a little bit.
at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now, 570-1949. I don't like how this is already beginning. Morning, Joe. Morning, Miss Thompson. One of these days, it's going to happen. Somebody's going to try to talk you out of boar's head. Joe, I'd like a half pound of that boar's head turkey. I got something for you, Mrs. T. It's a new turkey on special. It's not boar's head, Joe. Well, they tell me it's kind of like boar's head. It's not boar's head, Joe. It's almost boar's head. It's not boar's head. Do it for me, huh? What do you say? What do I say? It's not boar's head. Yeah, I know. So I take it this boar's head is what you want, huh? That's what I like about you, Joe. You catch on quick. Everyone knows Boar's Head Oven Gold is the best turkey in America, but to get it, sometimes you have to insist. Ask them to show you the Boar's Head branded on the turkey itself. In other words, demand the brand. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries.
Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy, for Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Hey, listen, I was thinking about this yesterday. If you guys have been to Clearview, let me know. Shoot me an email at woods at mikeyshow.com. Tell me about your experiences, man, because my experience there was absolute perfection. I have 2015 vision in both eyes. You don't get much better than that. My friend, Lauren R. O'Brien, is going to get LASIK this Friday. This Friday, my friend. This Friday. She will be joining me in these from now on, telling you how great Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff at Clearview are. So listen, you can take it from me, but if you don't like me, you listen to LLB. You'll probably like her, okay? She's much better looking than I am. Give them a call, 858-452-3937, or check them out online at www.clearvieweyes.com. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is back. with better availability than Honda or Toyota. So you can save now with 0% APR financing on Altima or get 1500 cash back on Altima. Get bottom line prices like 0% or 1500 back on Altima. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars.
Great offers equals more savings. And that's the bottom line. This event ends August 31st. Hurry in today. Financing for 60 months, $16.67 per month per thousand borrowed. Cash back on new 2011 Ultimate, excluding hybrid. For new dealer stock, call 1-888-858-8319 for inventory details. Ends 831-11. So I'm in Verizon because I want one of those new 4G phones. And I say to the sales guy, you got 4G. Here's the thing. A couple of things you were worrying about maybe you shouldn't be worrying about. If you do 15 minutes exercise, it's fine. I mean, it isn't as good as doing an hour. But at a minimum, you've got to do 15 minutes exercise, okay? To get anything out of it, you've got to do a minimum of 15. Now, here's the deal. According to a new study, they say even what seems like a little bit of exercise, it extends your life. They said 15 minutes exercise, six days a week, it adds three years to you. Wow. And you're 14%.
less likely to die suddenly than someone who doesn't do anything. Numero dos. Being chubby is not a death sentence. Thank God. There's finally a study that says being chubby does not guarantee that you're less healthy or more likely to die of a heart attack than someone who's skinny. CJ. Feast. Yeah, feast. Test scores up in San Diego. That's good news. They went up every year for the past six years. Statewide, scores are improving by 2%, especially in math, English, social studies. Guess who the biggest population is that they're going up with is Hispanics and African Americans. Good news. My dad just cheered. Yes. Viva la something. Viva Mexico. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, I've got an update for you in the Kobe Bryant story, but first, sports is brought to you today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Oh, yeah.
I told you yesterday about Kobe Bryant was going to church here in Carmel Valley and allegedly grabbed the arm of a young man that he thought was taking cell phone pictures. Okay. The police want to talk to Kobe Bryant. They also want to talk to the young man. The young man who's 21 years old has said, I'll talk to you, but it's going to take a week. Why? Nobody knows. It's very strange and is leading me to believe that this is probably much ado about nothing in this case. Also, the NFL has postponed its supplemental draft. It was set for today. So, you know, guys like ousted Ohio State quarterback Terrell Pryor needs to wait to find out if he's still eligible to do the supplemental draft. It was supposed to be today, and no new draft date has been set yet. Taylor Swift was doing a concert in St. Louis on Saturday, and there was high winds. Her dress blew up. Of course, everybody wanted to see, well, what is Taylor Swift up to? Granny panties. Not only that, they were industrial strength granny panties. Maybe Aunt Flo was in town. Oh, Woods, shut it. They're comfortable for her moving around. Gosh, darn it. They were her period panties. Ew. Dude. What? It's a true statement. My soul just left my body. Hey, I'm an idea guy, okay? I'm spitting out ideas. You just ruined that topic. What was going to be the topic? Panties? Granny panties. Talk about it. Filthy. Next.
And when Deer Hunter wrote, he said, Mikey, I know that when a couple moves in together, both people have to make some sacrifices. But I'm moving in with my girlfriend, and she wants me to get rid of practically all my stuff. I'm cool with finally ditching my Scarface poster, but she doesn't like my recliner, and I have a restored pinball machine that she wants me to sell. She said, none of that stuff fits the theme of our new place, and having it would be college-y. What is the theme? Stupid? Oh, boy. Good one, Jay. That's very clever. Thanks. Thanks, Arsenio. Thanks, Gallagher. Should I get rid of all the stuff I love? M1 Deer Hunter. Well, Deer Hunter, yeah. You know what you should do? You should pack it all up and put it in storage. And guess what? And you want to know something, Jay? He's going to put it in storage. In the next 30 years, he's going to look at it zero times. A pinball machine? A classic?
Times. Oh, man. Compromise. Grow up. Have a room. It's time to grow up. Yeah, if they can't afford to have an office or a man cave, you know, as a lot of people can't living in this town, it's expensive. Or let him keep his favorite thing, just one. He gets to keep one thing. Oh, he gets to keep one. No. Come on, L.O.B. What if the one thing is that pinball machine is giant? Is it all right? It is all right. It's a battle. Men, it's a battle that you will lose, number one. And it's a battle that if you lose, you get so much more in return. Do you? Don't you? Jay, can't you just think about it like this, man? When we get hooked up with a lady and we get married and stuff. There's just stuff that they got to deal with and we got to deal with. Like, we're going to leave our clothes on the floor. That's just, sorry. We are. I'm going to leave my dishes. I'm going to leave my dishes in the sink. I'm sorry. Sorry. There's going to be dried cereal in there. I'll put my dishes away. I want my pinball machine. You're going to come in the room sometimes and you won't have been in the bedroom for four hours. And it's going to smell like farts. Yep. Maybe less scented candles and more pinball machines. Dude. I like a nice.
girly place. I like my wife to decorate it. I like it to feel, because if I decorated, it'd look like a squatter lived there. My wife, let me tell you, my wife makes the most beautiful home. Gorgeous. Yeah, she does. I mean, beautiful home. Catalog home. I come home, and I walk in that place, and it smells good. Everything's always clean. She's got that place in tip-top shape. It looks beautiful. I go into, I think we finally got it to a place where she's happy and I'm happy. I can go into the front room now, and she painted the walls a brown, and I feel safer and warmer. And I'll turn that fountain on. Oh, it feels so nice. She's created an environment I like. But I can't have all my stupid... Dude, Jay, I used to have a collection, a collection of pint glasses. From all, you know, Ballast Point beer, this place, that place, blah, blah, blah. And I had like a collection. I must have had 50 of them. Okay. Dude, I mean, I got to grow up sometimes. I didn't like it. In the family room, pal. Yeah, please. When I was a bachelor. Did you have it in the, where all your dishes go? Yeah.
So you can just bust one out and, hey, here you go. I see nothing wrong with that. When you're a bachelor, dude, when you're a bachelor. Even when you're not a bachelor, you can still have a life. You know, I've been to Mikey's old bachelor pad in Dallas. Had many a party over there. Black leather couch, you know, the black lacquered furniture. You're out, man. Let the women take over and do their thing. Get on that. But, I mean, you can still have, like, cool beer glasses and style. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. And I still do have a couple of mugs and a couple of things. But, like, dude, that's all I have. Like, when you drink something, you drink it out of one of those pint glasses. I'm all in. You don't put your Eddie Van Halen poster up in the family room just because you like it. I wouldn't do that. But a recliner, like a nice recliner? I still have a nice recliner. I'm not allowed to have a recliner. Why? It doesn't fit. Even if it's nice? Oh, it doesn't fit. I've never had one. Z Gallery. Mine's a nice leather. I found it off the side of the road. No, no. Refurbished it. Yeah, I refurbished it. It's nice. Take it from someone who lived out of wedlock, then broke up and moved out of living out of wedlock. You got to give some compromise. You have to. A little give and take. You start taking away his pinball machine, all of a sudden you might as well take his boys away. That's right. You got to give some. What are you, working on an arcade? Leave the pinball machine in the garage. I have certain things that are mandatory.
Like? My ping pong, my recliner. Where the hell is your ping pong? It's out by the pool. Just getting all rained on. Bet it looks awesome. No, it is an outdoor table. It's an outdoor table? Yeah, it's aluminum bottom. It's a nice table. It is nice. You saw it at my house. Yeah, yeah. You brought it over. Yeah, it's an all weather resistant. That's outside. What do you got inside? Oh, the recliner's mandatory. Yeah, but it probably fits, right? It probably fits. Big TV. I remember that recliner. Yeah, I remember it, too. It fits the decor. Try bringing something in there that Kim thinks don't fit. A big-ass Lazy Boy. Yeah, dude. Blue Quarteroy Lazy Boy. I did have a big, giant pickle barrel that I loved. What? Isolate. It was a pickle barrel. Did you wear it as, like, overalls? With suspenders that held it up? You had a pickle barrel? I had a pickle barrel, yeah. I had all kinds of stuff. Describe it. It's just a big one. It looks like a wine barrel almost. What did you do with it? I kept it as a table. You used it as a table. I used it as a table. In college, though, I could also flip it upside down and you could put your bong inside of it so no one knew. My goodness, Jay had a pickle barrel.
pickle barrel that he put a bong under. Well, Houdini gave it to him after it went over the falls. It went over the falls in it. It's like, hey, my buddy Jay, my babysitter. Hey, it's my nanny Jay. M1, Captain Moe from San Diego. What's going on, Mikey? What's up, dude? Hey, I had to do the same thing recently. I had a whole shelf that was dedicated to my drinking days. the Captain Morgan mirror and the Guinness mirror and a couple Guinness glasses. I actually had the last bottle of Guinness I drank before I left Okinawa, and I had to recently take that down. It was kind of by choice, but the wife strongly suggested that I take it down. I kind of agree to it. I've got to grow up someday, whether I want to or not. In college, we used to drink Lone Star beer, and we used to drink a lot of it. the box, the face of it, and we would tack them up onto our wall. Now, I couldn't imagine saving my Lone Star beer cases now and wanting to collect them. So at some point, you just realize that this ain't a battle you're going to win. But you've got to do it slowly, though. They're just moving in together. You guys are married. If you take it all away at once... Take it all away at once. Take it all away. Just Pete. Come on, Pete. Jump and roll up. There's only a small shelf, though.
House is a woman's nest, bro. It is. Pinball machine, though, is the coolest thing ever. If you're 15. Yeah, you're 15 years old. People collect them. It is an antique. People that collect them have space for them. If you have one pinball machine, it's going to go in the garage, man. It's not going in the foyer. Why not? It's the coolest thing ever. Unless you marry a Vulcan, she's not okay with that. I like the pinball machine. There you go. Different strokes. Hey, speaking of LLB. L.O.B., we're going to do that's a true statement in a second. But we were talking about this. I've done some punishments on this show. Challenges. I got shot in a humiliating sombrero and poncho. It was a shootout. And you got one shot off, I believe. That was it. Jay got 75. That was a great day. That was awesome. But I was talking to Woods and to Jay and we have collectively decided and we want to get your feelings on how you would feel about us putting up a Facebook post about me asking for you to do a challenge. And if you did what you would have to do.
Okay. Do you understand? So it's up to the M1s to post things or you're going to put something and they vote on it? We'll do some ground rules. We'll do ground rules. Okay, okay. What can we not do to you? I'm not going to get naked or topless. There goes my ideas. How about just bottomless? What about eating challenges? Oh, I'd eat anything except... Ground beef. Or beef in general. No beef. No beef. But anything else? Oh, gosh. Cockroaches? I don't know. You would eat? No. No, no, no. You would not eat insects. Nothing that's alive. Yes, yes. Nothing that's crawling. Okay. That's it. Those are your only parameters. No, why not? Okay. So will you allow for M1s to go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show and put their ideas and then let me, Jay, and Woods collectively decide? The only thing she won't do is get naked or topless or eat something alive or beefy. That's pretty open. That's pretty open, yeah. Yeah, it is. It's open. It's not so fun. I'll do it, whatever. Oh, wow. All right. Did you ever just say stuff? I trust you guys. That happens to me. I run my mouth, and then I get in trouble, and I end up... I have a feeling I'll regret this. I did wear a meat suit before, so it probably can't get worse than that. I bet it can. I dragged me a dip cup. Well, that was an accident. Yeah, but still happened. That was an accident.
Still happen. I've gotten shot before with a baby gun. I was typing the post into the search area. Smart. Like your dad. What should we make L.O.B. do? Don't be all, like, creepy. If she loses a bet. No topless. Nude. No topless. Nude. Or. Beef. Beef. Yes. Eating. And I will consider bottomless. Oh gosh, you weirdo. Goodness. Just kidding. Nothing alive. Yes. Well. Yes. Although technically the algae that I do. Yeah. Take shots of it is alive. I'd never do that.
Okay. Kombucha's alive. Want to play that's a true statement? Yes. So we'll pull it out of here. We'll pull the statement that one of us has written and then we'll have to see who wrote it. And then you can call in 570-1949 if you support it and you want to back it up or if you have one yourself. All right. The first one is dress up and theme parties are for people over the age. Wait a minute. Dress up and theme parties for people over the age of 21. are lame. That's a true statement. Woods!
Oh, my gosh. Good God of this bit. I should have known it was me. God, with this. Hey, we're having a 70s party in our garage. It's the best. Is it the best? Just get it. One of the funnest people that I know wants to just outline fun things. It's not fun. You're one of the funnest people I know. You don't like flash mobs. Of course not. You don't like theme parties. No. Dude, ugly sweater parties. Come on. It's funny. Oh, my God. It's funny. We're 40 years old, dude. Funny, man. It's the kid in us. Look at us. The kid in us. Really? Come on. It's like, it is the bane of my existence. If I get an invite to one, I'm like, I got to think of something to get out of this because there's no freaking way I'm putting on a, you know, 70s afro and going to some party. It's fun. Standing around with a bunch of other middle-aged idiots. Why won't you put on an ugly sweater? Because it's stupid. It's fun. It takes everybody out of their element. Looking at everybody's funny sweaters. You want to go get drunk with your buddies? Just go get drunk with your buddies, man. Play some cards, smoke some cigarettes, drink off the keg, whatever. It's more than that. It sets the mood. Yeah, man. I got to look at some D-head walking into this big rainbow afro and his bell bottoms. I got to spend my Saturday driving around to freaking thrift stores looking for bell bottoms and platform shoes. Don't go. My buddy just threw a, it was like a year ago, but he threw this western party. He had a mechanical bull. He had a photo booth where you get yourself all dressed up.
Western wear. Just have a mechanical role. That's fun. All the girls came dressed as cowboys or Indians. They were insanely hot. See, here's the thing. They're insanely hot anyway. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. I won't do it because I'm so overweight that I feel uncomfortable putting on a costume. You can be the cricket sheriff. That's right. You came in my house dressed as a cricket sheriff for my birthday party. That's right. And see, how much fun was my party? We ate some chicken. We played some beer pong. We drank off the keg. We had some cheesecake. It was great. Hey, listen. If it were up to me, I would never go to another one again. What? Dress up. There's no reason for it. They're lame. Every time I see the pictures of it, there's seven dudes dancing in somebody's living room with a disco ball. I'm like, that looks rad. Some of them look lame. Jersey Shore party? Come on. No one really likes whiskey straight. They do it to look cool. That's a true statement. 100%. I wrote it. I like whiskey.
No, it's got to be watered down with the little ice cubes, though. That's not straight. That's not straight. No, the rocks. Straight means I take the JD and I pour it. Yeah, neat. You can't even have just a few in there? Nope. Neat. You see in movies, right? The guy walks up to the bar, give me a whiskey, and he gets a glass of whiskey, and he drinks it. And you're like, you look cool as hell. Yeah, dude. Cowboys do it. Absolutely. You know who does it? Bad Blake does it. 100%. Bad Blake does it, and so does... John Wayne, probably. Well, when you watch the movie Crazy Heart and you watch him drinking that McClure's out of the glass, it makes you want to drink whiskey. And if you tried to just drink it like he did, you'd go... Yeah, you'd go... It's in the fancy glass, weird chinaware, and they come home and they pour it into something and just take it back. Yeah, and it looks rad. I wanted to be J.R. Ewing, too, when I was a little kid. You weren't out of that deal. What is Jaeger considered, though? That's not whiskey, no. That's an aperitif, actually. Oh, wow. Actually, it's a digestif. Sorry. It helps you digest your food. Every guy wants to come home and go... Yeah. Dear, babe. Dear, what time will dinner be ready? Yeah.
It's true, man, and you just can't do it. I tried in college to look cool, and I can't. It tastes like butt. Get dinner together as quickly as you can. I've got a lot of work to do before I retire. Got to work on this case. M1 Brewer from San Diego. Hey, Mikey. What's up? What's up, dude? As you can see, my last name is alcohol is in my blood. Drinking spirits is the exact same art form as drinking beer and wine. You can't just drink it. You have to take in the bouquet. You taste a little bit, and you breathe out. So what you're saying is you could teach somebody how to drink whiskey and enjoy it. I've taught hundreds of women, even, who usually make the sound that L.O.B. just made, how to drink it. And in the end, they're like, oh, wow, I taste apricot. It's sweet. Oh, whoa. That's a trip. And there's nothing sexier than a woman that drinks bourbon. I mean, your girl orders bourbon. You're like, oh, my God, that's sexy. Well, I mean, it's a good finish. Straight up. Yeah.
I mean, this guy knows what he's doing. And I guess that would make all the difference in the world. But hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it. Oh, do we have a moral dilemma for you next? And I think I already know what LOB thinks because she made a little comment that I don't even know if you know I heard when we were talking about this story about this kid in Minnesota that made a $50,000 hockey shot. And his dad won't let him keep the money. And we will tell you why. Sunshine has a temper sometimes, but he's not all bad. Mikey. He's a real beef castle. 949. What? Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM Enhanced County.
with some shows for you to go check out. Like Thursday night, downtown at Flux, She Wants Revenge will play. And Friday night, 311 and Sublime with Rome are at Cricket Wireless. Company of Thieves at the belly up next Wednesday, the 24th. Next Friday, the 26th. Butthole surfers are playing Brick by Brick now. The show has been moved from 4th and Beat to Brick by Brick. Fitz and the Tantrums are at the track September 2nd. Big Sonic Chill presents Thievery Corporation for two nights. September 7th and 8th at House of Blues. And still to come this summer, an About the Music Show with Givers at the Casbah September 11th. And About the Music Show with the pains of being pure at heart. Also, Switchfoot at Petco Park. TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys. to date at 4th and B, Erasure, CSS with Men, Blitzen Trapper with Dawes, and Ryan Adams. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. It's the end of the model year.
And Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is back with better availability than Honda or Toyota. So you can save now. Get $1,500 cash back or 0% financing on Sentra. Get bottom line prices on our top of the line vehicles with $1,500 back or 0% on Sentra. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars, great offers, equals more savings. And that's the bottom line. This event ends August 31st. Hurry in today. $1,500 consists of 1,000 Nissan cash, 500 NMAT cash. Financing for 36 months. $2,778 per month per thousand borrowed. See dealer for details. Call 1-888-858-8319 for offer and inventory details. Ends 831-11. Sunglass and Optical Warehouse, the only place you should be going, according to me and also to San Diego Magazine. They said it too, but if you go to fm949sd.com, you can download a 20% off coupon. That'll really get you pretty far if you go to Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Really cool. They are San Diego's number one source for sunglasses. They have been for over 20 years. But the really great thing about Sunglass and Optical Warehouse...
in addition to the fact that they do great sunglasses, is the fact that they also do the optical side. So if you want to get your prescriptions done, you can go there and choose from a lot of different names in designers, designer brands. Their website, sunglassoptical.com, but I would stop into one of their three locations, Sports Arena, Kearney Mesa, La Jolla Village Square. They're open 363 days a year. And they offer a great selection of those designer and brand names that you want. You want them, they got them, go get them. August 20th, the tastiest food on wheels descends on Del Mar. It's the first annual Gourmet Food Truck Festival. From noon to 6, 40 of Southern California's top gourmet food truck chefs will be serving up a treasure trove of delicious food and eclectic eats. Free admission to the food truck area with racetrack admission. It all happens this Saturday. Del Mar, cool as ever. I'm Samantha. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. I'm always looking for savings and wanting to eat healthy foods. I feel good about no artificial colors, no artificial flavors with the Fresh and Easy products. And it's high quality and it's also affordable. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Samantha.
Now everyone can save on fresh peaches, nectarines, or plums. Hand-selected, you'll enjoy two-pound packs for just 98 cents each. Mary lost her mastiff named Marbles. She also lost her keys. And where was the leash? Thankfully, one thing wasn't missing. The ink. With HP Multipack, she printed oodles of missing posters for all her missing things. But then she found Marbles, with her keys, and his leash. She didn't need all that HP ink after all. But she was happy she had it, because you just never know when you'll lose your marbles. Print more and save up to 10% with everyday pricing with HP Multipacks, founded a retailer near you. HP, hit print. Compared to single standard HP ink cartridges based on average retail pricing. Well, summer is winding down and a new school year is approaching. It's also time for Bobstall Chevrolet's annual pre-Labor Day sale. our biggest of the year. If it's Silverado for work or an Equinox or Tahoe for the carpool, you'll get a guaranteed lowest price at Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. And remember, when you buy your new truck, SUV, or anything else, your trading is always worth a premium to Bobstall Chevrolet. So for an unbeatable price on your new Chevrolet and your trade-in too, come to the pre-Labor Day sale on now and only at Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. I'm one degree away from making myself more valuable.
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Sweet dreams. At Mission Fed, your success is our bottom line. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Programs, rates, terms, and conditions are subject to change without notice. Rate may vary based on credit qualifications. Mission Fed is federally insured by the NCUA. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for PlayStation 3. It is the best gaming console around, and now it's even better. Why? Because it's only $249. PlayStation 3. BMW, as you need us, now you can. We know you want ultimate performance. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Through Labor Day, lease a new 2011 328i sedan for only $299 a month plus tax. That's right, a new 2011 328i sedan for just $299 a month. Or get 1.9% APR financing for a limited term with approved above average credit. And with BMW also picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Hurry in to get a three- And now back to the Mikey Show.
With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go. Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Hey, check this out, nation. We just added something to the word of the day price. Woodsy, tell them what it is. Well, this Friday night, you can win a pair of tickets to go to the Padre game with your old pal, Woodsy. And Mrs. old pal, Woodsy. My wife. Young pal, Woodsy. Yeah, young pal, Woodsy. Young pal, Woodsy. Yeah, hot pal, Woodsy. Hot pal, Woodsy. Yeah, so we're going to be going to the Padre game. We want some M1s to go with us. It's Tony Hawk night. For more information, go to Padres.com backslash Tony Hawk. All right, so this is the way you win. You're listening for the word of the day. Today, it is worth.
Hopper tickets to Legoland. So you get to go to Legoland and the aquarium. And you also get a pair of tickets to go to the Padre game with Woods and his wife. They're going on Friday and will take you along as their guests. Yeah. Beers are on you. Woods was saying something off the air right now. And here's the thing. I said that when we came back, I want to tell you this thing. The moral dilemma, the $50,000, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What I want to know is how Woods did not say this. on the air how did you not he told this story off the air right now and i said stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop say it on the air start from the beginning you want the whole thing okay well um i am a monster i'm a giant monster people are going to hate me for this but i live to do bits and i live to make my friends and co-workers laugh so i was at the grocery store yesterday yes back on my health food kick buying all kinds of good stuff i saw
A very short, chubby Mexican child. He's about three years old. Freaking out in the ice cream aisle. And I mean freaking out. Freaking out. Freaking out. Right. The door's open. He's pointing at what he wants. I mean, this kid. I felt bad for him, did I? I felt bad. Like, he was chubby, dude. So I was going to. Take a picture with my iPhone, and I was going to text it to all of us and go, Mikey, Mikey. Just to get a laugh. Lauren, for instance, sent me a lamp yesterday that was shaped like a penis. So we like to make each other laugh with our fake pictures. I'd have laughed. It wasn't a fake picture. So this is what I didn't realize. I got an iPhone. I've had it for a while. What I did not realize about the iPhone is that when you want to take a picture and your sound is on. This is the sound that it makes. One more time. Okay. Here we go. Okay. So I'm walking around, and I've got my phone in the palm of my hand, and I'm trying to do, like, I'm trying to get the good shot of this little chubby Latino ice cream lover. And I'm walking behind him, and I'm pretending kind of like I'm texting, too, you know? Right. Because he's got his mom, his grandmother, his grandfather, and, like, two or three other siblings. Yeah. So I'm just trying to isolate this kid.
So I give it the, all of a sudden, the mother, she's probably 20 feet away, goes, excuse me, excuse me. Oh, my God. Are you taking pictures of my child? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Sex pervert. Sex pervert. Yeah, sex pervert. So I throw up in my mouth. Oh, my gosh. Dude. I'd have died. I'd have died. Mikey, the feeling that I had. Terror, terror. It was terror. It was sex perverted. Yes. I mean, immediately felt like. Right. A flasher. Yeah. And then I was just scared. Just scared. Just scared. Just scared. Terrified. Terrified. Terrified. So. You're like, no, I'm taking pictures. I'm doing bits. Yeah. I'm taking pictures of ice cream. Oh, my God. So I go, oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I just got this phone. I was trying to send a text. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry. She looked at me. Oh, God. Like, oh, dude. The look. Oh, my God. The look. Yeah. I did the same thing at the airport. Yeah. The look was, you're a freaking monster, pal. You are a monster. Oh, God. This girl was sitting on the ground at the airport, and she was very bosomy. And I thought, I'm going to take a picture. I mean, she was hanging out every time. I thought, I'm going to take a picture, and I'm going to send it to Woods. Yeah, send it to Woods. That's your alibi. And so I took the picture, but the flash was on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So it lit her up. She looked at me. Oh, my God. I'm standing there like I'm texting. I'm like.
Oh, my gosh. I don't know what just happened. Oh, my gosh. She looked down at her shirt and went like this. Oh, my gosh. Well, it gets worse. Oh, I would have said that. My story gets worse. It's not the end of the worst day ever. You got arrested. No, I did not get arrested. Not yet, at least. Somebody may come knocking on my door for that. You have to register now. Yeah, you're registered. Gosh, darn. So, I have a... full cart of groceries. And I mean a full cart of groceries. I wanted to turn and run after the chubby picture incident. But I was like, well, I didn't do anything wrong as far as she knows. So I'm just continuing to shop. So I'm loaded up. Get to the front of the line and I have my full cart and I'm putting my stuff out. Then I'm on my phone and I'm texting while she's doing the beep, beep, beep, running everything. Okay, so that'll be $215. Okay, no problem. Reach in my wallet. Oh, boy. Oh, God. No, man. No, no, no, no. Don't say it. Don't say it. No debit card. Why? I'd given my debit card to my wife. No, you hadn't. My wife had lost her debit card. Then we got it back. She left it at home, took mine, and I told her to take mine. I said, you need gas. I'm good. I don't spend any money during the day. Have at it. She has my debit card. I have to then say... And there's people behind you? Oh, dude. Yeah. I mean, this is probably...
four o'clock-ish, you know, and there's a ton of people behind me, and I have to, I'm like, oh, so what do I do? Gosh, darn. I go, oh, hang on, my debit card's in my car. And I ran, and I got in the car, and I left, and I'll never go. What is wrong with you? Oh, my God. I didn't know what to do. I had been sex perverted, and. You were the sex pervert. I was the sex pervert, and I was already embarrassed from that, and then this happened. And I just wanted to go home. You can never go there again. I will never go there again. They waited for you. I'll drive 40 minutes to go to the grocery store from now on. I am a monster. I know I am. Light me up. Guess what just crossed my mind? What? How long did it take until they finally started ringing the next person up? She probably held the line. Oh, gosh. Woods just got... That killed him. That killed him. That killed Woods. That killed Woods. Sir, can you just ring me up? Because I'm next. Hang on just a second. There's a man that we're just... He just had to run outside and get his debit card. Oh, okay. He'll be back in just a minute. I just have these two things. It'll be fine. He'll be right back. Yep. He'll be right back. You can't do anything on your till until he comes back. I can, but...
I'll tell you what. Well, but see, there's people behind you. He'll be right back. He told us he'd be right back. I'm so sorry. All right. I guess I'll wait. All you have to do is put your order on hold, and even if they know you're going home, they will take it, and they'll push the whole cart into the cooler. Here's the deal. My wife was at work, okay? And I didn't know when I would be able to get access to my debit card again. And I didn't have a checkbook, and I don't have a credit card. I mean, I have one credit card, but I never use it. And I didn't have it, so I'm like. All right, well, I bolted for the car. Just pouring sweat. Pouring sweat, almost in tears. Did you talk to yourself in the car right now? Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, I give it the full, you're an idiot, dude. Gosh darn idiot. Called Jamie, and I was like, she's like, oh, God, are you mad at me? I was like, no, I told you to take it. Did you have to re-get all the groceries yet? No, I haven't gotten anything. That's worse. Now you've got to go. Now you have an excuse to get McDonald's. And shop for all that stuff, though. It was the worst. It was the perfect storm. But yes, I'm a monster. In two more ways than one. I'm sorry. Love me. Casey Anthony's parents are going to be on Dr. Phil. They're supposed to appear on Dr. Phil next month, September 12th. They're going to talk about what life has been like since Casey was acquitted.
They're not getting compensated. Excuse me, I have to blow my nose. You think he's excited for that interview, man? Gosh darn. Who, the dad? No, Phil. Phil, yeah. Of course. Now, it says in the article that they are not compensating him, which is a true fact, Mike. I would not ask them to give me money for something like that. I'm trying to help them out. Well, no, no, you wouldn't be compensated, Dr. Phil. They would be compensated. Well, I get my compensation from the show, yes. Right. But I would not compensate them. That would be exploitation. What, Nancy Grace? Hi, is this The Mikey Show? Yes, it is. Hi, this is TV's Nancy Grace. I know who you are. This is Phil. Hi, Philly Poop Pants. Don't call me that. Why? Because it ain't my name. It's your pet name. What? It's your pet name. For who? For you. From me. Philly Poopy Pants. Philly Poop Pants. Mama, don't tell everybody what that name is. And that was one time. It was a joke. It was not a joke. Are you mad? Is that it? You're mad. You're mad. Admit it. Philly. What? I want that interview. You ain't getting it. I ain't giving you the interview. You're going to give me that interview or I'm going to blow the lid off of the whole thing. TV's Nancy Grace. Yes? This is Dr. Phil. Yes? I ain't giving you that interview. I earned it. You didn't. Philly, I want that interview. Don't call me that again. You call me doctor. You know it.
I ain't going to call you doctor unless I'm being a nurse. You're talking about that time at the CNN anniversary party. Yeah, I'm talking about that time. I have photos. You do not. You got photos of us sitting around a cake. I have photos, and don't you dare try to push me to publish these photos on your website, on my website. TV's Nancy Grace. TV's Nancy Grace. This is Dr. Phil. Yes, I know. And you're trying to exploit that poor family over a tragedy. Over a complete and total tragedy. And all you're trying to do is just advance your flailing career. Excuse me. Yes? Didn't you come up with the term, freaking Tot Mom? That's right. And it's going to cost you every time you use it, Philly. What'd you do, trademark it? That's right. TV's Nancy Grace, Tot Mom. You said Otte Omme. You can't get me for that. That's true. So you came up with Otte Omme, but you weren't exploiting her. Is that it? No, I was not exploiting her. I was trying to help that family. Then why are you wearing a t-shirt right now? It says, I was exploiting her. Oh, I was exploiting her. Yeah, it says it right on there. It ain't a joke. It's what it says on there. Listen, Philly. You're the best I ever had. Whoa. Mama, don't you sweet talk me.
I ain't putting you... I ain't giving the interview over. I already got... What? You're going to get an interview. I'll send you some coffee. Because you need some more of it. You need some decaf. You wired up, cokehead. Why don't I tell everybody about that party? Fine. I'll tell everybody what happened to that little old party. Who's my flyer? Hey, Phil, let's go in the bathroom and do a couple of bumps. Remember that? You're the one that supplied it. I didn't supply anything except fun. Oh, now you're going to talk about Phil Jr.? Oh, wow. Yeah. You have no... Dignity. And absolutely no... Don't start with your... Woods, what's it called? She ain't got no... Class. You ain't got no class, woman. You two-bit hussy, I gotta go. I have to go. Goodbye. Goodbye. Mama? She's gone. It's like they called her mama. I know, it's weird.
I'm sure we'll all be camped out in front of the TV watching. I'm going to watch it. Of course I'm going to watch it. I'm fascinated still. Who doesn't? All right, so in Minnesota, this made me immediately think of Jay. Uh-oh. In Minnesota, 11-year-old kid, he makes this incredible hockey shot. 89 feet into a very... What they did was they put this thing in front of the net. So... He had to make it into this tiny little hole from 89 feet away, this 11-year-old. It's impossible. He does it. Yeah. And he wins $50,000. His name is Nate Smith. So they make a big to-do. Nate Smith, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, guess what? It wasn't really Nate. It was his identical twin, Nick. And he was taking credit for it. And the reason that he went out there is because Nick is good.
At hockey, and Nate sucks. And Nate got chosen. So he's like, I got a brother that's good at it. I'll send him out there. No way. And it worked. And he won 50 grand. Well, guess what? His dad said, no, that's not right. You freaking lied. And you're not taking 50 grand. Good for him. Really, man? Take that. Who cares, man? It's 50 grand. It's an insurance company. They buy an insurance policy to cover that. So it ain't their money, man. It's free money. Free money. Just hand it out. Robin Hood. Give it to the rich. Yeah. No, give it to the poor. Give it to the rich. By the poor, I mean me. Get it, Robin Hood, and give steals from the poor, give to the rich. Nah, Kate, what the hell's the difference? Both came from the same egg. Same womb. Come on. Hey, I thought it was a good move by the dad. Yeah. Hell yeah, that's a dad right there. That's a good dad. That's a dad. Hey, man, that will be with them the rest of their lives. My dad had integrity. You know what won't be? The college education. 50 grand. You know what? They never had that money to begin with. You have twin boys. What if they pulled a stunt like that? No way, man. No way. They ain't getting no 50 grand, and they're going to get their butts whooped. So what's the point, though? I mean, it's an impossible shot.
I mean, and the kid still made the shot. Yeah, great. You made a great shot, Nick. So let me ask you this, Jay. What if one of the kids was smarter than the other and he went and took the SAT for his brother? That's wrong. Hell yeah, that's wrong. That's cheating. I think that's wrong. That's wrong, but the other's not wrong. You don't get paid for the SAT. I got that Jeff Bridges album yesterday. I thought it sounded pretty good. I did too. I thought it sounded really good. I was really surprised. Thank you, Mikey. Worked real hard on it. Jeff, it's so weird that you talk like that. Why? Because in the movies, you don't talk like that. Have you not seen Crazy Heart? You kind of talk like that in there. Yeah, drinking just straight up whiskey. That's right, McClure's. How you doing, darling? You want a piece of steak or roll? No, thanks. Let's listen to Jeff Bridges' new... Listen to this. Instantly liked it. Although there's two songs on this album, I deleted them. I deleted them. I was like, I'm never going to like that. I know. I'll hear songs on an album. I'll go, I'll never like you. I'm sorry. We're not going to get along. And you just can't skip through it. No. And this one, I was like, the second it started, I go, I'm in on you. Me and you are a match made in heaven. This is a deep voice. Jeff Bridges old cowboy. Is that the scene, Mike? Who's the guy that played Wes in Urban Cowboy? Scott Glenn. Scott Glenn.
Scott Glenn is filling the screen. It's just his face. Washed out. Color. There's no color. It's just practically black and white. They washed it out so much. Weathered face. Weathered face. Camera's backing up. He's leaned up against a truck. Truck's up against it. Up against an old trailer, but you know what? By God, that's his trailer. This dog pokes his head out through the driver's side window. It's one of his mangy-ass dogs with a blue eye and a brown eye. But gosh darn it, he's cute. Can't help but love him. Scott just looks at that dog. He goes, well, time for us to get the hell out of here. It's beating you now, Buster. She just don't want to give us his place. He ain't giving it to me, I mean. Lights. Wooden match. Lights a cigarette. Takes a wooden match. Flicks it. That old chair just goes up in the flame.
Slow motion. And as he's pulling out, it just catches that kerosene tone. Do I love movie music? Me too. That is movie music. Ella B and Woods, you want to give this one a shot? Yeah. Same song. Same song. Oh, I was waiting for you. No, either one. Go ahead. Go ahead. I don't have anything. You guys don't have anything. No. I think that was the perfect. I've got one. All right, here goes, dear. Old man sitting on a rocking chair. Stained overalls. Drunk. Spitting chaw into an old tobacco can. Farting. Words come on the screen and say, Something's long time to die. This summer. The most amazing comedy ever. Everybody wants them balls. Button. Yeah.
This summer, the fart is back. What about the girl that wanted to speak Korean so bad she had her tongue lengthened? It's a true story. You can't make up headlines if it's a slow day. It's a true story, and I will tell you the true story next. Mikey Show Live is going on right now. We've got a lot of studio audience hanging out here with us. Very nice. And, oh man. We're going to have... We still have so much show left to go and only an hour left. Did I tell you that I, yesterday, was out in the yard looking, trying to fix something with the air conditioning, which is behind these bushes, and was sure that I heard rattling and was scared to death of this rattlesnake that turned out to be a garden hose. And I thought it was rattlesnake. Did you squeal?
No, I didn't squeal. I probably didn't make any noise. It would have been a funnier video than it was anything audio-wise because I jumped. Did you poke it with a stick? No, I got rocks and I threw rocks and it didn't move. And it was one of those things where, oh, it didn't move, but it's still alive. Yeah. He's waiting to strike. Yeah, he's waiting to strike. And you throw a rock and it's, of course it doesn't move. It's a sneaker. That's why they call it a snake. Yeah. Snake in the grass. That's right, buddy. Wasn't anything. The hose. Nice beaver. Thanks. You got a hose. I did. I sure did. L.O.B. went to the gas station yesterday and the guy said, how are you? And she half-heartedly responded, good, how are you? And as she was looking down into her wallet, he said in a southern accent, hornier than hell. Hornier than hell. Hornier than hell. I went. Holy. So awkward. Crap. Did that work? Yeah. No, it didn't work. Do I make you horny, baby? Well, maybe he wasn't trying. Maybe he was just, you know, it's his bit. Was he old? No, he was young. And I just nervously laughed. And then he said, how's your day been going? I said, good. Yours? And I was afraid of what he might say. And then he just kept saying, up and down, mostly down. Oh, wow. Kind of a beep.
If you ask me. See, I think he's his bit. He's got a bit ready to go. Holy cow. M1, Casey from San Diego. Are you there? Yes, I am. What was the word of the day? You're not only going to Legoland with hopper tickets to go to Legoland and to go to the aquarium. You're going with Woods and his wife this Friday. Yeah. Open up. I'll buy you some fresh nachos. There you go. Well, there it is. Hang on the line, will you? Did I throw away my new one or did you give me a new one? Oh, boy. Let's see. Maybe I did not. Oh, man. I'm still getting over it. I have a new one. Still got a cold? Yeah, I feel a little bit better. I got some rest. Jay? Still sick. Me, too. A bunch of Sally's killing me. Hey, I'm still here. I'd shake you guys' hands. I don't want to get you sick. It's probably I got sick. We got sanitizer in here if you guys want to use it. And I...
I got, if anybody needs any CVS severe cold relief, Chris says they took Tylenol off the shelves. Great. What? I just bought some. Oh, again. Oh, again. Let's see. Did I mention the, I was going to mention the social security thing and never did, right? Right. A bunch of people, they say 2.8 deaths are reported a year because the social security people type in the incorrect numbers. And so you're dead. You're not really dead. And they do it, I guess, 38 of them a day. 38 mistakes a day. It's just a mistake, but it costs people a lot. Thanks, Chronic Taco. Damn. Chronic. Chronic Taco. It's a chronic. It is. They brought some breakfast burritos and some stuff that's really delicious for everybody that's hanging out in the studio. You can catch them. EatChronicTacos.com. They've got two locations, Encinitas Boulevard and El Camino Real between Roffs and CBS and Solana Beach off Loma Santa Fe Drive just east of the freeway. Customized Mexican food with a twist. And they serve breakfast all day, which is good. And they say try their fish, shrimp, fajitas and fries. And then don't forget to come in for Monday Madness or Tuesday taco specials. Very nice.
in the studio now, a picture booth provided by mypicturebooth.com. And it's really cool because they put our logo on it. And if you have a business and you want to have like a picture booth at your place, they'll put your logo on it and you can upload right to Facebook. And so we put one of the pictures of LOB on our Facebook page this morning. So you can take a look at it. It's really fun. Very tasteful with the boob hat. Yes, we do have a boob hat in here. I thought this was pretty interesting. This girl, her name is Rhiannon, and she really, really wants to work in South Korea once she finishes going to school. No, who doesn't? Yeah, of course. And she's been taking language lessons. She's 19. She could not pronounce certain very crucial sounds in the Korean alphabet. Now, I don't know about Korean, but I can tell you, we have a Hungarian nanny named Nita. Ooh. I haven't said anything. You just said a Hungarian nanny named Nita. That's all I said. Yeah. Maybe one of the filthiest things I've ever heard. What was he doing? What is that? That's so gross! Jay, I'll tell you what it is. It's the sound of his children moving out of the house. Yeah. Maybe that's his goal. The sound of his wife moving out of the house. Yes! Oh, wow.
Anyway, our Hungarian nanny Nita says that the English language, we've got all these letters and ways that we say stuff they don't have. And they have a bunch of stuff that we don't say either. Like, for instance, in their alphabet, is an actual, like, alphabet letter. Yeah, Mike. How do they spell? You've never heard that, huh? J for bet. It's a J for bet. It's an alpha J. What's that matter? This letter right here is pronounced. How do you pronounce it? So disgusting. My skin's crawling. Anyway, so this 19-year-old girl, she can't pronounce really crucial sounds in the Korean alphabet. So her dentist says, maybe because your frenulum is not thick enough. That's what they tell me, too. Jay's had that problem before, too. Trust me, I've seen it. That's the flap of skin on the underside of your tongue that connects the floor of your mouth to your tongue. Yes. So what she did was she surgically had it separated so that it would make her frenulum about a centimeter longer, which will allow her...
To be able to speak in the language and, you know. She sounds a lot better. Yeah. In a way that will, you know, make more sense. Her boyfriend will thank her as well. Sony PlayStation, the PlayStation 3, the PS3, cutting prices by 50 bucks. Yeah. So now the base model costs $250. And another system with twice the storage space is $300. Not bad. Nintendo, you know, they reduced their prices for the Wii from $200 to $150 in May. So, you know, there's like price wars going on, which is obviously good for us. PS3 is awesome. Yeah. Awesome. I love the PS3. I love it too. I saw previews for Madden 13 the other day. Yep. Great. I'm all over it. Uh-oh. Who's on the cover? I don't know. Peyton Hillis, I believe, from the Browns. See you later, Peyton. See you, Peyton Hillis. Oh, well. Too bad. Next thing you know, I'll be electrocuting dogs and stuff. Oh, yes. All kinds of stuff. I already have one of those. That's true. I feel like a 50-year-old woman going through menopause. I'll get hot, and then I'll get cold. I'll get hot flashes. Katy Perry. Yeah, I'm hot, and I'm cold. I'm hot, and I'm cold. Kissed a girl. You liked it. That's true. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. Still liked it. Yeah. I was charged.
Would you rather be able to fly or read mine's woods? Fly. Me too. Fly like an eagle. Not only that, I don't want to read anyone's mind. Me neither. It'd be horrible. Good God, it'd be the worst. Who in this room would like to read mine? Nobody. This guy. This guy would. He's a creep. Sex pervert. Yeah, sex pervert. Sex pervert. Only a sex pervert would want to be able to read mine's instead of flying. What are you going to read mine's for? What if we were thinking something bad about you? I was like, what a clown this guy is. What's your name? My name's Eric. Eric, what if somebody was thinking something bad? Oh, of course you're thinking something bad. Yeah. You want to know that? That's not the part I want to know. What do you want to know? Creepy. I just want to be one step ahead of you at all times. Pull the microphone. That's good. That's good. But what, I mean, okay, so let's say you have the power to read minds. Do you know I have the power to read minds? I don't. Then I'm going to impress you, man. But what if I am looking at you and I'm just like, that's a guy, whatever, blah, blah, blah. I'm not thinking anything. What's that going to do for you? Come on. You're always thinking something. Yeah. What if you don't like it? What if I'm looking at some guy and it hurts my feelings? He's like, oh, this fat load. I'm looking at some girl and she's like, never. I just hear that one word. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never. It would be the worst ability to have. You got to learn to tune it out. Or what about every guy that meets your girlfriend and they're like.
Oh, she is hot. Every single guy. You know that's happening. That's not what you're listening for. You've got to have the ability to tune it out. You can't just have the ability to hear everything. If it were up to me, you'd be doing that, I'd be flying around San Diego. What are you going to do when you fly? Fly. And feel it. Yeah, I'm going to fly home. I close my eyes, dude, and feel it. I'm going to soar like an eagle. My balls don't hurt when I go fly. When I skydive, my balls hurt. You know why? Because you open that parachute up. It opens up. Whoa! Right? Pulls up on you. So he's the only sex pervert in here. Well, he could be. Well, it ain't the sex pervert because it isn't the ability to see through clothing. No, but you know what would be cool? That'd be a good one. Let's say I meet Ella B at a bar and I read her mind and she's like, yeah, I would. Definitely. Then he's going to stay invested. A hundred percent. Or you could be the highest paid investigator out there. That's true. Or spy. No, I'm just saying my bar game just got elevated. Yeah, your game is up. My bar game just got elevated. But you just, oh my gosh, can you imagine the bad stuff you hear? But you don't think I could go out and slay if I was like, hey, hon, check this out. Yeah. Get on my back. Yeah, that's true. Jump on. Get on my back. You're the only dude that can fly. Yeah, you're Iron Man, dude. You know, it's rad. Hey, no worries, man. You fly off. I'll sit there and know exactly what she's thinking. And while you're gone, she and I are going to walk off. That's true. Enjoy your flight.
live a regular life, you can't. That's true. You cannot live a regular life if you fly, because as soon as anybody finds out about it, you're a freak on TV. They'll shoot you down. Yeah, they'll be gunning for you. Yeah, they'll shoot you down. Of course you will. Are you going to start wearing a costume? Yeah, probably. Yeah, probably. You have an ultra-ego now? I mean, what's your superhero? Perv man. Super wiener. SW, Steve Wood, super wiener. I don't know if you are a weapon for the United States. I will shoot you down. No, you won't. What's that, Jay? The fat bomb. Fat bomb. It flies. Hey, thank you. Appreciate it. Fat bomb. That's what he said. Did you hear that, Mike? Mike, did you get that fat bomb? You'd be the fat bomb. Got it. Your superhero name. This is a pleasure. Sick pleasure. Delights in it. Oh, it's so fun for him. Woods, would you rather be stuck on a chairlift, you know, like on a ski chairlift, or in an elevator for five hours? Five hours each one. Five hours on a chairlift or five hours in an elevator? Probably the elevator. No question for me it would be the elevator as long as it's not hot. It's going to be hot, but it's going to be cold on the chairlift. So you're hot and you're cold and you're out.
Can we just say that it's the same? No. No. No way I'd rather freeze to death than be stuck on an elevator. You would? Yes. Oh, my God. I would hate sitting up there. And you're high. And you think, because remember, you're sitting in a chairlift. What if it falls? I don't care. You crush your legs. I don't care about, it's probably not going to fall. My thinking with the elevator is probably not going to fall. My thinking in the ski lift, it's probably not going to fall. I just can't stand heat. Like, I'm out. You'd rather be cold? Dude, I'd rather be cold than be hot. Anytime, man. Not me. Like, you could say, Mike, would you like to have an all-expense paid trip to Kauai in a high-end luxury resort, but there's no air-conditioned? No. What? Trade win. Or an air-conditioned disgusting hotel in El Paso. El Paso. You're crazy. El Paso. Dude. Just open the windows. Listen, I have a thing about heat. Like, if I'm hot, I'm telling you, last time I had surgery, God was trying to teach me something. It was overnight. It was the only time that hospital's air conditioning was broken. So I just come out of surgery. I'm sweating like a water buffalo. All the sheets are off of me. I've been cut open. I'm laying on the bed. I've been, you know, I've been taking intravenous painkillers so I can't pee. And when I have to, they have to come in and do the catheter.
And it's a 24-year-old nurse. I'm like with a pillow over my head. Hey, little guy. Come here. Turtle hiding. Turtle hiding. Are you done yet? Nope, not yet. Hey, you're Mikey, aren't you? Nope. You are Mikey. Hey, everybody, it's Mikey. Hey, it's Mikey from the radio. And this is little Mikey. People mistake me as him all the time. Mikey, can you do oil? I'm not him. People think I'm him. Mikey, if I call my boyfriend, will you leave him a message as Frankie? Yeah. How about Tattoo? Call my mom. She loves you. Actually, Tattoo had a bigger wiener than this right here. My name is Fernando Gonzalez. Zing. I'm Mino speaking English. We have your chart, Mike. As far as Miguel. That's a mistake. I cannot get this in that thing. No, I tried to. Hey, do we have any tweezers here? Really, really. Bring in the microscope. And a microscope. Bring in the junior catheters, please. Baby catheters. Baby catheters. Do we have those ones from the NICU? Someone call down to the NICU, please. That's the infant ICU for newborns. Actually, preemies.
Please. Preemie catheter, please. Hi, Llewellyn. We need you to bring us a preemie catheter for Mr. Esparza. It's Mike Esparza. Mike Esparza. From the Mikey Show. Mikey on the radio. Mikey in the morning show. Mickey in the morning. Mickey in the morning. We're trying to give him a catheter, but his penis is very small. It's very, very small. Very small. It's stress very small. And it's really stressing Melissa out because she's new. She's never had to do this. And so if you can – oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm on the intercom through the whole hospital. I'm trying to figure this gosh darn thing out. But if you heard me, can you go to the NICU and get one of those? We need a .0003 if you're coming up here. Just bring the .0003. I know that the adult size is 2.4. We need a .0003. And if they're out, call Houston. Houston's got everything. Nice Bieber. What a humiliating time in my life. That was. I was there right after, which was awesome. Very loopy. I've had such bad experiences at hospitals. One time, the woman said to me,
Because I had been asking for so long. I can't remember what I was asking for. Literally, it was from one shift to the next shift. So she came back the next day. I'm asking for the same thing. She goes, give me food. She goes, I want tacos and burritos. I'm sorry, sir. We cannot give you food. You just had surgery. Besides that, it's not a restaurant. You can't just order whatever you want. A menu, pal. Everybody gets pretty much the same thing. She says to me, I'll never forget her name. It was Annie. And Annie says, what do you want me to do? Climb in the bed with you and mother you? I swear it. True story. And I was like in shock. Like I was like, oh my gosh. And I actually thought this to myself. She can do that all day long. You know why? She can get away with it. Yeah. I would have tattled. No, no, no, no, no. You're crazy. Yeah. You're crazy. Drugged up patient. You're crazy. Yeah. He's nuts. I remember it like it was yesterday. It's incredible. And I remember instantly thinking, oh my gosh, she can do this. Yeah. And I have no recourse. I would have flipped out on her.
Oh, dude, I was in so much pain. And you're vulnerable. Yeah. I was in so much pain, and it wasn't going to matter. Like, she knew, I can do this. Wow, what a monster. Oh, dude, it was gnarly. And I remember, so I did tell this other lady, and then I had this other dude that was, like, cracked out and trying to give me, he was trying to give me, what do you call it? Oh, the IV? No, no, no. He was trying to check my blood pressure. When he first came in, he had to check your blood pressure, right? He couldn't wrap. The thing around my arms. He was like shaking. And I was like, what is going on? And Rebecca, you can spend the night with the patient. They'll put a cot out. I woke her up. I was like, babe, babe, babe, can you help? And she woke up and she saw it. And she remembers. Like, it was the weirdest thing. Down in Tijuana? Seriously, man. Maybe they were short-staffed and they called on the janitor to just take people's blood pressure. Get it, man. Short. Short staff. Staff. Staff. Get it, Mike? Short staff. He's got a short staff. Yep. What starting NFL quarterback on his birthday decided to have 19 guys over and play hide-and-seek? You heard, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course I did. Yeah, yeah. You silly sausage. I'll tell you about it next. Make some noise anyway. Show now.
Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the sound of Jim at a ball game realizing he forgot to stop by the bank. Oh, I promised my wife I'd deposit these checks. This is the sound of Charles, a Chase banking customer at the same game remembering the same thing. Oh, I totally forgot to deposit these checks. Jim. Ugh, now I gotta leave the game early. I didn't even get a hot dog. Charles. Now just use Chase Quick Deposit and deposit my checks from right here. With Chase Quick Deposit, you can deposit checks safely and securely from anywhere, including Section 100, Row 5, C12. Simply take a picture of the front and back of your check with Chase Quick Deposit on your smartphone. Hit send, and you're done. Now that's a step forward. This is the sound of Jim trying to leave early so he can deposit his chest. Excuse me. Pardon me. Hey! Sorry, pal. This is the sound of Charles after catching a fly ball and depositing his three chests. Chase Quick Deposit. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Chase Quick Deposit is now available for select smartphones. Enroll in Chase online and download Chase Mobile App. Subject to eligibility. Deposit subject to verification. Not available for media withdrawal. Limits, terms, and conditions apply. Message and data rates from your service provider may apply. See chase.com slash quick deposit for details on eligible smartphones. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member of TIC.
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Grab two of any variety of standard-sized candy for $2 until August 31st. One at regular price at Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Come on, get up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in the ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts and reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise. See, now I was talking trash about the pictures. Well, earlier I was saying, I don't want to do this thing, blah, blah. And my wife goes, hey, crackhead, you realize that's our friends that's taking those pictures. I didn't even realize. It's foot and mouth disease. Foot and mouth, dude. I'm such a dork. Was it their idea?
Yes, and that's the thing. Like, I just come on the radio and try to be Mr. Funny Man. Yeah, Mr. Funny. I just hurt the feelings. Yeah, why don't you just keep your mouth shut and be different, dummy. Just crushing people's dreams. Yeah. Hopes and dreams. I was really excited to do that photo shoot for Mike and his family. Yeah, you know what? I guess he hates me. Yeah, I guess he's just a big, fat jerk. Yeah, perfect. Emphasis on fat. Yeah, minus the big and jerk part. Not minus the big. Yeah, just take out the... No, leave it all in. Yeah, the whole thing works. It all works, man. Big, bad jerk. Check, check, check. So, yeah, Jeff Bridges yesterday. This was the song that they were letting people have for free on iTunes. Hoping they would dig it and download the record, and I did. Basically, I told Woods it's Crazy Heart 2. Yep. Which I would like to write a treatment for. Yeah. Well, there was a lot of music in Crazy Heart that they just couldn't use because they couldn't use all of it that was written. So he put it on a record. Listen, he's a nice guy. Jeff Bridges signed something for us to auction off for Mikey-thon. And he's a really nice guy. Eccentric as it gets. Yes. Real eccentric. Maybe you know this, maybe you don't. But if you sing Happy Birthday on a national televised show, you have to buy the rights to sing it. Oh, my gosh. You do. You have to pay.
It costs a lot, you know, licensing. Yesterday was Kathy Lee's birthday. And Jeff Bridges was on Today Show. He stuck around, did After Today Show. It's Kathy Lee's birthday.