The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/18/10

0:00This is FM 94.9. It's Wednesday. Am I ready? How did that happen? Hump day, man. That's right. Man, we got a lot of stuff. We have so much material today. I love that. We have Kanye and his mom rapping together, which has just been discovered. Yeah. We'll get that later. We have an armless guy playing the piano, which is amazing. How do you do that? With your toes. Toes. Or mouth. It's phenomenal. It's outstanding. And we have Woodsy eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in under two minutes, and for every donut he can't eat in two minutes, he will take a BB. Now, Woodsy, you did this to yourself. Yeah, you did. You said yesterday on the air, man, I could eat, and you say it all the time, actually, a whole box of Krispy Kreme donuts if they're warm. I think I can do it. I bet you can. I think I can. I think he can.

2:51I'm a little queasy right now. You are just thinking about it? Just thinking about it. I'm a little queasy. Have you not eaten anything this morning to save up? Nothing. We need like some ice cold milk. I don't like milk. Oh, you don't like milk. Maybe ice cold DP. Oh, wow. That'll fill you up with the bubbles. Delicious. Man. Well, that's happening at seven. I can't wait. I got friends all over the country that are tuning into this one. Really? Yeah, I think they want to hear me vomit on the air. I would too. Oh, gosh. I hope not. We'll videotape it, and you'll be able to see it. You'll be able to see the videotape. I need a strategy, man, and I've been racking my brain for a strategy. You're overthinking it. I am overthinking it, but I need a strategy. So if any M1s have any good strategies for me, I'd like to hear it because I'm thinking about... wadding them up in little balls and trying to eat those oh that's a good call i'm trying i'm thinking about i'm thinking about dicing them into quarters and just popping little quarters in real quick that'll take too long i think the balls balls yeah because they're crispy cream and you they're not very thick that's that makes my mouth water yeah yeah mine too makes my stomach hurt but

3:59Or I'm thinking about doing the Kobayashi, where I break them in half, dip them in water, and then... Ew, don't do that. You'll ruin it. Slide down real good. Might as well enjoy it if you're going to do it. You're never going to do that. It works really good. Kobayashi kills it, man. The guy's the master. The hot dogs are a different consistency. Yeah, that's true. They're made out of, like, rubber. They got the bread on them. Oh, ew. You do it with the bread, too? That's why they do it. That's why they do it. They eat the whole thing, so... That's disgusting. That's just mean. That's why. So that'll happen at 7. Great. 570-1949. That's our number. Call us up. Get on the air. Talk about whatever you want. It's an open forum at the beginning of the show. If you're new to the Mikey Show, there are five people on the Mikey Show. I'm the host of the program. My name is Mikey. I'm having surgery next week on an incisional hernia. What kind of surgery is this? Like you're under for a long time. You have to stay at the hospital for how many days or do you get to go home after? Well, they say that what they want to do is get you out of there real quick because they don't want to spend money on you. And so they want you out of there as fast as you can. So like that day? Well, there's no doubt it'll be overnight. Yeah. OK, but they'll try to make me leave the next day and I won't.

5:23You want me to bring you a pastrami sandwich for lunch that day? This would be so nice. Why won't you leave the next day? Because I'm not ready. I wouldn't want to either. They want to escort me out and they try, but I go, I tell them, like last time I did it, they want me to leave the next day. I'm like, I'm not ready to leave. I'm like, there's no way. Good for you. And the doctor says you can tell them, you know, I'm not ready. You help set the standard for people that won't speak up for themselves. Yeah. And I don't. Listen, I had the weirdest. nurse two times ago she said to me she said to me i was in so much pain and i and i had asked her please help it was so embarrassing too because it was right before uh i had visitors i'd been asking her for a couple hours it was more than a couple hours it was a long time and uh she says to me What do you want me to do get in crawl in bed with you? You're kidding. Yeah, oh my gosh. Yeah, and oh my gosh the most shocking It was the most shocking thing Ever it was it was crazy. I have her job Yeah, it was really crazy. It was I didn't say anything back because it really upset me, you know, so I was just upset, you know

6:37I got my feelers hurt. But anyway, so I'll go in next week and what they do, what she plans on doing. And I have an Indian doctor. Okay. She has the best. She's absolutely the best. And she says to me, she said to me, what I will do. Okay. Is I'm going to go laparoscopically. Okay. I will begin laparoscopically. If I can do this. I will do a laparoscopy. If I get in there and I realize that it is not going to work, then what I will do is I will then open you up. And I would do that way. But openly, we can do everything laparoscopically. What does that mean? Very nice. Laparoscopically? Yeah. Means that they just make a tiny little pinhole and go in with a camera and a couple of what look like chopsticks, and they do everything inside of you with chopsticks. Maybe open me up. I'm thinking maybe open me up, get a nice big view, nice view of the whole thing. Yeah, but the less invasive, the less dangerous. Yeah, and the less recovery and all that stuff. Scarring. Would you, what's he?

7:48What? Have you ever seen my scar? Yeah. It's pretty gnarly. Crazy. It's pretty gnarly. I have a big, gigantic scar that runs the whole length of my belly. Scars don't bother me. I like scars. You like scars? Yeah. I mean, I'm not, like, searching for scars, but... Right? Yeah. Scars are souvenirs you never lose. Yeah, there you go. Goo Goo Doll said that. That's cool. I like that. Wow. Woodsy is our sports guy. I am. He's got what he calls a PHC working real good, the perfect haircut. It's perfect. Oh, my God. It's perfect. Who says that? I do. It's on point. He's grown a beard in. That's awful. A scraggly-looking beard. Yeah. A hobo. Would you guys agree that Woodsy is one of the most good-natured human beings maybe that you've ever met? Yes. Yeah. Woodsy's one of the most good-natured people I've ever met, if not the most good-natured person I've ever met. He likes to check on you, make sure you're okay. Yeah, he's a good dude. Try to keep a good nature. Yeah, he's got good nature. Lauren O'Brien is the girl wearing the sweater next to me. Oh, we're still in the intros. Yeah, she's to my right. She has blonde hair and earrings on today. Dangly earrings. Yeah, she's got dangly earrings on today. Yep.

9:09She has blue eyes. You may have seen her in her work on the Food Network or on YouTube or on an Obama campaign promotional video. Maybe a Jerome's ad. Maybe a Jerome's ad. You know, there's various ways that you could have seen Lauren O'Brien, who we call L-O-B. Lob. I just call her Lob now in the morning. I've heard you call her Lob. I never noticed. Mikey, I'm surprised you didn't comment on my bun. You guys always get afraid when I wear the tight bun. Dead man. Dead man walking. All it means is I'm tired, but you guys say that it means I'm mean. I'm serious. You mean business. Business. Librarian. You look like you just walked in the New York Public Library and you have 700 stacks of books that you have to file that day. And if you go bun glasses, forget it. It's over. Just forget it. It's over. Usually just means a girl's tired if she's got a bun in. Dead man. It's me every day. Sienna is the gal to my left who I blogged this morning gets me.

10:17She does get me. Did you? I may have to read a blog for once. Gets you, understands you, or gets your funny bone? No, she understands me. She speaks your language. Sienna understands me. I can read Mikey's needs. She can. She's like a psychic. When it comes to Mike. She's the Mike whisperer. He reminds me a lot of... my husband Todd, a little bit of my dad. Same type of deal. What are you going to do when Sienna's on maternity leave? That's what I blogged about. You'll be okay. It may be a little rough for a couple days. Maybe you take a week off. I know. Pop the baby out. I'll be right back. She's not going anywhere. I mean, I don't know how long I'll be gone. Hopefully not long. I just have to play it by ear, see how it goes. I could be right back. I'll ask you off the air. Never mind. Oh, dear. Okay. Uh-oh. Jay's our producer. He's a guy in the next room. He's 47, and he has four kids, if you can believe that. Guy's got four kids. Was telling us a story about his youngest already surfing. His youngest is seven years old. He's already surfing. It's awesome. It's the coolest thing. It's awesome. Are you surprised? Uh-uh.

11:26Probably building tree houses, too. I am. The other ones didn't surf all that much, so he's my child, my prodigy. That's cool. Can't wait for Woodsy to eat those Krispy Kremes at 7. JetBlue is bringing something popular back. Yes. Steve Irwin. No. Slater. They're bringing him back, are they? Are they bringing back Steve Slater? No, that's the flight attendant who lost it. What about sexy? Is he bringing sexy? Oh, yeah. He's already brought that back. He has. I was like, Timberlake brought that back. You may remember JetBlue had a little thing going on for a while, All You Can Jet Pass. Yeah. And basically it allows anyone to travel to unlimited numbers of cities in the U.S. and the Caribbean for over one month period of time. Now, there's two different prices. You can spend $699, and for the entire month you can fly anywhere you want, any day on JetBlue. Or for $499, $2 less, you can fly anywhere you want, except you can't travel on Friday.

12:29and Sundays, which are the busiest days. There you go. Bye-bye. Yeah, they did this for a little bit last year, and it was $5.99, and they sold out really quickly. So right now, you can book online through Friday, and it's valid for flights between September 7th and October 6th. That sounds fun. Yeah, I mean, I guess you've got the time to. travel that much. It's a pretty good deal. But you could do companies to buy for their sales reps. But imagine, you know, like say you have friends or family, like maybe just make a month of every weekend you go visit someone. Yeah, maybe I'll fly home every weekend. Sounds pretty cool. It would be good for people like backpackers coming here from other countries too. They want to go see different cities. Yeah. Jet set. Yeah, that's cool. If you've never flown JetBlue, it's pretty awesome because they have TVs with DirecTV. They got DirecTV on the back. It's the best. It's the best. That's the best. To watch any channel you want. Wow. I wish they were bigger. What? The TVs? No.

13:28Bigger airline. JetBlue, yeah. Oh, in more cities? They're a pretty big player here in San Diego, in Lindbergh. They fly a lot of places. I love, love, love JetBlue. You're going to make that right. They fly to Big D? Yeah. You know, I don't know. But I do know that when they go to New York City, man, it's direct flight, real cheap. Wow. Done. Maybe I'll go for the playoffs. Direct flight. Wow. That's where Slater was at JFK. Steve Slater. Steve Slater. Steve Slater. The flight attendant that lost his mind. He did. He's currently seeking some restitutions. Solutions. Solutions. Just grabbed two beards and went down the slide. There's been some video footage. They, of course, found some kind of footage of him going down the slide. They found it. And it's from the airport security cameras. And you really can't see anything up close. But it's awesome. But you know what you can see? You see the slide go. Fold out. Unfold. And then you see just for a. Split second, this dude. It's awesome. I'll find it. We'll post it. We live in a day and age where nothing isn't videotaped. You can't get away with anything anymore. Everything's videotaped. Every event. All you do is pull out your cell phone, you know? Let's see. Oh my goodness. Speaking of planes.

14:55Sienna, tell the story of the woman on the Southwest flight. Oh, my goodness. So this woman was flying from Dallas to Albuquerque, and she was with her husband and 13-month-old baby. Right around my kid's age. 13-month-old baby, a little over a year. And this woman slapped her baby on the plane. On the face is what witnesses said. People saw it, and apparently she slapped the baby on the face and then on the leg, and this was a huge deal. I was slapped. Her. Oh, I know. And then once the plane landed, you know, she and her husband were taken and questioned. And they were later released after a welfare check of the child. Wow. But the baby had a black eye, too. What? Which, not necessarily from the slap, because I guess the baby had it before. Doesn't matter if you saw it. Previous abuse. Yeah. But they're saying it was from a dog bite from their dog. And the mother said, you know, I slapped my child on the leg, not on the face. Which, by the way. Which, by the way.

15:55in and of itself is like, why do you have a biting dog around your infant? It was their uncle's dog, a Great Dane. And so they said it was a dog bite. I know. Isn't that awful? It's a huge dog. And so both of the parents were released. But, you know, like I said, the mother said she didn't slap the baby on the face, but she slapped him on the legs. But there's multiple witnesses that say they saw both. And that she was, you know, telling the baby to shut up and saying to the baby, I didn't hit you that hard. Stuff like that. Stuff like that where people on the plane were just like, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. And the flight attendant had to call ahead and make sure that, you know. Listen, I got a slap when I was a kid. When you're old enough to reason. That's my thing. When I was of an age where I knew right from wrong, I can remember taking a couple of slaps from my dad. In the face? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. And now, here's what I'll tell you about it. You know me. You know me. For me, the... Now, these were on both occasions were for...

17:01egregious violations. Big ones. My violations at that point were very, very bad. If they were that bad, you were probably of an age. Yeah, I mean, it was twice in my life. Do you remember how old? The first one, I was young. No, I was about six. And let me tell you, man, what I was saying, what was coming out of my mouth was not something a six-year-old should be saying. About his mother. Oh, no. You been watching Richard Pryor or something? To his dad. Oh, no, no, no. See, that would have probably been okay. Like, if I was just repeating something I heard, I was saying something out of, like, anger. Hate and hurt, sadness and fear. Even if you're of that school of thought that you agree with that sort of discipline, even then you draw the line at a certain age. Yeah, that's what I was going to. That's what I was going to, is that. I had the presence of mind to be able to rationalize at that age. And so when I tell you that my dad slapped me, I don't have a problem with it. Now, me and my wife have discussed, and we are going to be of the... We've discussed that we are not going to spank, aren't we? Yeah, not... Yeah, we've discussed it, and we have decided as a couple that we're not going to...

18:23spank our kids, aren't we? When they get a little bit older, it might be tough. Yeah. And so we will institute timeouts, won't we? With all of our kids. Yeah. Right? Timeouts. But you guys know me. I... I use the Bible as my owner's manual, and the Bible says don't be afraid to spank your kids because it's not going to kill them. In fact, it'll keep them out of hell is what it says. Wow. I know. And so, hey, listen, I look back on the discipline that my dad gave me, and I think that it was a good thing. Sure. But this is terrible. That's awful. And the reason that this is terrible. That's a baby. The reason it's terrible, yeah, is because these infants and even toddlers, like my kids now, my toddlers are. 11 months old. No, they're a year old now. They're a year old now. And they can't reason. You know? They don't know anything. They can't talk. No, they don't get it. No. I mean, just if you don't know what it...

19:2913-month-old looks. Most of them can't even walk by that point. You know what I mean? So it's like, come on. Lukey is real light on his feet, and he's just barely learning how to walk. And the other one, Ryan, is, I love him, a little trouble of, he's not going to be walking probably for about another two months because he's just heavy. He's got a lot to carry. He's got a lot to carry. Once he starts walking, man, that's going to come right off, though. Yeah. And once Luke starts walking, I bet it'll inspire him. Oh, yeah. That's what they're saying. Competition, man. Absolutely. Just wanting to follow him. Hey, you know, Tila Tequila, we talked about this. She went to an event called the Juggalos concert or something. Yeah, Gathering of the Juggalos. This was last week in Illinois. And the Insane Clown Posse were performing. They were like the big headliners. And I don't know anything about them other than their listeners and their... Christian band. Or not. Or the complete opposite. Not even close. I mean, the people... that love them, they dress up like clowns or something like that, right? They're hardcore. Really violent, crazy, scary, yeah. So Tila Tequila was opening up for them, and in case you don't know, she's a Playboy model, she has been, and she apparently tries to rap too, so that's what she was there for. You guys put it best last week when you said, she's everything they don't stand for. Exactly, yeah. So before Clown Posse,

20:48came out. Tila was there. People were throwing beer bottles at her, firecrackers at her. She tried to flash her boobs to get them to stop. It just got worse. She had bruises and blood on her face. I mean, this was bad. So now it's coming out that Tila was, in fact, warned before the event. And one of the rappers is coming out from Clown Posse saying, you know, they had heard that concert goers were... were planning to do something bad, and they told Tila about it, and she said, no, I'm going out, I'm going out. Really? But now, yeah, which could, you know, hurt Tila because now she wants to sue all of these attackers and, like, file this huge lawsuit. She does a lot of litigation, doesn't she? She does a lot. It shouldn't hurt her, though, because even if you hear a rumor like, hey, if you walk into that party, someone might hit a bottle over your head. Yeah. Still doesn't. excuse a person from smashing a bottle over your head. Yeah, I think she's... No, but it does excuse liability. Juggalos. Really? The Juggalos. Oh, yeah, the band, the band. The band and the concert promoters. And the concert promoter and all that. If somebody says to you, hey, listen, probably shouldn't go out there because I heard that they're planning on hurting you. Well, in fact, there was a guy that had taken a watermelon and he'd done some stuff with it. And that's...

22:01use your imaginations with some bodily functions, and he'd had it there for two weeks. Soaking. Ready to throw at her. Disgusting. And, you know, I mean, if she had heard about that and went out there anyway, sorry, Charlie. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't, like L.O.B. said, the person that threw it is liable, and they're going to have to be penalized. Right. There were so many people that threw stuff. But I think that it does excuse you from, you know, you say, hey, listen, we told you not to block. Yeah, this is what he said. This is, uh, one of the rappers, Violent J. He says, we told her about the rumor. Violent J. Sounds like a very docile guy. Real loving. Just a nickname. He says, we told her about the rumor and she didn't care. We paid her before the show and assured her that even if things got out of hand, she could keep the money if she had to leave the stage. I want Bryant Gumbel to interview that guy, though, and go, Violent. You stayed here on the record that you didn't necessarily think that she was going to get hurt, yet your name is Violet. Why? True. And he would do the thing where he'd take his glasses off as he asked the question. Notice Brian Gumbel does the thing where he's sitting in the chair with his legs crossed with the glasses on, and he's got notes in his hand that don't say anything, it's just scribbling. And he goes, Violet.

23:23It's an interrogation technique. The taking the glasses off. Yeah. Gosh darn, it looks smarter. It does, eh? He's a good interviewer. That's a sharp move when you take those glasses off. Yeah, very professional. Yeah, it looks like you're pro and you know what you're doing. It looks like you're in control. Yeah. It's a good move. Word of the day today is stapler. How about that? Wait for it. Can't say it because I need to count. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, when we work the word stapler into a sentence, you call your caller number 9 at 570-1949. And, Jay, what will they win? That is a fantastic question. Well, let me go. Wait, wait, wait. I'll give you a build-up. I've got it. Oh, this is the worst. Hold on. Let the build-up go for a while. I'm getting there. I'm getting there. It's a stampede. Hang on. One more, Jay. I'm going to really give it up for you. Oh, my gosh. Kindergarten band. Could have been better. We have a pair of tickets to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. Yeah, love it. Things such as elephants, as you just heard. That's right. Many of you are tuning in right now and don't even know that there's a Brett Favre story to be heard. But there is. It's nothing official, but...

25:02Woods is going to give you the latest on the Brett Favre saga when we come back on Woods on Sports. Woods is going to tell us about what's going on with Brett Favre in just a minute. It's Brett Favre. Brett Favre. Brett Favre. I'll tell you all about it in a minute. That guy. He is something else. He is something else. Piece of work. Piece of something, pal. Wow. Piece of ace. Oh, wow. Lauren O'Brien is the filthiest little dirty bird. And here she goes. She's a donut and a half in. It's on. Oh, no. It is on. It's dirty bird season. Get your fishing licenses out. Get your hunting license out. Dirty bird's in season. Flying all over the place like partridge and pigeons. Get out your 12-gauge. There she is. Dirty bird. Aren't you? Ready to get us fine? Oil. I said A's.

26:41It's insane. Hit the alarm. Hey. Pervert alert. Pervert alert. It's the same thing. You're going to get us some kind of FCC violation. Janet Jackson, Miss Nasty. Miss Nasty. Miss Nasty if you're Jackson. Miss Jackson if you're Nasty. Whatever. What am I, dyslexic? Pervert. So, 7 o'clock this morning. Woodsy is going to try the Krispy Kreme Challenge. A dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in two minutes. I think he can do it. I think he can, too. I just said two. I think he can do it. I just said three. I have to do six times what you just said. You can do it. We each get three out of the other mocks. I hope we don't give you some disease by making you do this. Diabetes. There are a lot of people that...

27:39Eat a whole dozen. It's just one day. They're called morbidly obese people. And I'm not quite there. My friend can do it. She's a small little girl. She eats it. You don't think we'll hurt him, will we? I'll be fine. No, no, no. It's just one day. I'll probably go for it. Oh, no. Obese Mikey. I'm telling you, you're not going to hurt him. You've done it before? In your sleep. It's laughable, huh? No, literally, in my sleep. So I think you'll be fine. You'll be fine, right? I may have to pull trigger. No. I may have to. Not in here. Pull trigger? You may have to. Not in here. In the bathroom. I'm not going to do it in front of you guys. I may have to pull trigger. We have a meeting today. I don't blame you, man. I mean... I had two, and it's a lot of sugar. We're going to be here all day, and I'm going to be in the meeting like, just sweating. I have to tell you guys about yesterday. Yesterday, Woods and Jay and I went to lunch at Milton's, which if you've never been to Milton's, it's a really, really good deli. It's on Via De La Valle, and it's...

28:54So good. Food is so good. So much food, too. So much food. Yeah, they got like a long menu. I always thought it was like a steakhouse. Oh, no. That's Morton's. That's Morton's. Oh, okay. That's what I'm thinking of. Morton's is right off the five on Via De La Valle. Food is tremendous, Sienna. You would love it. So we go there. We have this really great lunch. And then afterwards, there's a, in the Flower Hill Mall shopping center where it is, there's a cheese shop. Oh, wow. Mikey. You know about that place, right, Mike? Yeah, I do, obese Mikey. Yeah, you do. Yeah, he does. He showed me a picture. Yeah, I showed him a picture of me when I used to eat a lot of cheese. Really? I was obese. I go, who ate my friend Mikey? What? I did. He's twice the size he is. He's twice the size. Yeah. And I'm Chubster now. No, you're not. I took Jay. Jay likes cheese, so I took him over there. This place, I can't remember the name of the place because they changed it, but we go down to this place. Cheese Galore, we'll call it. Cheese Galore, we'll call it. It was a very foofy name, I remember that. Mikey's Cheese Hut. Yeah. And right before we walked in, I said, hey, just so you know, Woods, it stinks in here. Oh, yeah. Wow.

30:12Oh wow. Really? The stinkier the better when it comes to cheese. Understatement of the year. It hits you like a wall. It hits you like a truck. Oh, it's LLB. It's like feet. It's like a wall of filth is what it is when you walk in. But the cheese is so delicious. I mean, it's... You took Woods in there? Yeah. He's the... He's a child. Oh, yeah. Oh, he... Was he going... Yeah. First thing. First thing he did. I walked in, I go, oh. Wow. Wow. It was funny. Mikey walked in, though, and was like, hey, you move things around. This used to be over here. I used to walk three steps to get to the cheese here. Yep, that's true. And so I go, do you have any, you know, it's called like something moon. Still can't remember. And they go, yeah, we got it. So they. sliced a couple pieces for... Hold on, hold on. Mikey said, do you have any of the moon? And she got a smile on her face, and she had to go in the back to bring this special hidden cheese that Mikey only knew the color of. Right? So she slices a couple of pieces of it off, and I go, Woods, do you want to... And he goes, no. And I go, Woods, come on. And he goes, no, no, I won't. No, and he looks at the girl, and he goes, yeah, the kid likes to keep it real simple. You got any Kraft American slices back there? Oh, wow.

31:24Oh, my gosh. Velveeta. That's not cheese. And she looked at Woods like there was a turd under her nose. Oh, yeah. Well, she had more chins than a Chinese phone. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Hey, hey, hey. What? You just got a slap for that. She can get. She didn't smile. She wasn't amused. She was mean. She was kind of mean. That would be like someone saying, comparing the Yankees to maybe your adult league baseball team. Sorry to offend your precious. Cheese. Really? Some people are very passionate cheese lovers. You're either in or you're not, really. I was trying to make a joke. Maybe lighten up, cheese girl. So I can't convince him, right? So we're going to leave, and I'm at the checkout counter, and there's a little bucket, and the little bucket, it looks like a tip bucket, but it's not. It's got little samples of individually wrapped. Nuggets of cheese. Delicious. Yeah, and they're three bucks a piece. You know, it says, you know. You bought the bucket. Choose three for $3, actually, was what it was. So I go, I'm in. So I bought three little nuggets, right? Uh-huh. And we walk out, and I take a bite of one of them, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. It's like heaven. It's delicious, right? And I go, Woods, you got to try it. No, no. I go, Woods, come on, man. No, no. I'm not touching it. No.

32:50And I go, please, will you please try it? He goes, Mikey, no, I'm not going to like it. And I go, I guarantee you will like this one. I promise you, you will like this one. So he takes his thumb and his index finger and he breaks off a tiny little piece. And he puts it in his mouth and it hits his tongue. And he goes. Oh, wow. Dramatic. Spits it out. Disgusting. And he's like, oh, dude, sharp, dude. Sharp, bro! Dude! Mikey, sharp, bro! Dude! Sharp. Sharp. It was sharp. Oh. Like, sharp cheese is filthy. I like it. Sharp cheese is good. Filthy. Sharper, the better. He couldn't stop spitting. Disgusting. It was so delicious. Disgusting. Did you expect anything different, Mike? No. He's so dramatic. Am I? He was very dramatic. I want to go to this place now. Disgusting. Bring a nose plug. Okay. We really need a whole store for cheese, really. Is that what we've come to? Are we that fancy now? Dude, I'm telling you, man, it's like wine. Grapes and crackers in there. It's not like wine. You can't get drunk on cheese. I'll tell you, you sure can. I said to Woodsy later, I go, Woods, I go, the only thing that would have made that better is maybe a couple of sliced figs. If you're a gay man.

34:13I agree. Woods goes, I didn't know that you were gay. Yeah, I had no idea. I'm not a fig fan. You need the contrast with the sharp sweet fig. Maybe some candied walnuts. You know where you put cheese between two pieces of buttered toast? It's called a grilled cheese sandwich. Maybe on some tacos. Maybe on some spaghetti. I bought some of the moon cheese, and it was like $14, and I got this little tiny pit of cheese, but I ate it last night. You know how I know you're gay? Because you like cheese. Yeah. Because you know more than three kinds of cheese. That's how I know you're good. And you eat them with sliced figs. So, number two. Delicious. Maybe some watercress. Disgusting. So fancy. My son Jake is going to be four years old September 9th, and he has a crush on a girl. Now, when my wife said that, I thought, oh, that's cute. You know, she's just saying that, and that's not really true, but it's a nice way of saying that he's... paying special attention to somebody. No, he really does. He actually does because he changes when he talks about her and he doesn't do that. In fact, the only person that he does that with is Woods. The only person that he changes when he starts to talk about them is Uncle Woods. Like father like son. Yeah, exactly. You guys have similar taste. That's right. And so the girl is 15. Her name is Carly. Ooh, Carly.

35:35She works at this camp that he's going to. And so apparently he made her a card. Oh, my God. Like father, like son. Yeah, because he couldn't make a mixtape yet. Otherwise, he would have done that like his dad. I love this. Anyway, so he makes the card. And the only way that I could set this up for you in order for you to be able to get the story and not be completely bored by it, because I always was before I had kids, is that you just have to know that. my son doesn't get shy necessarily in the way that I'm about to tell you. So it's very different behavior for him. So this camp takes place at a home. Okay, so they go to the house and they open the front door and Carly is standing there. And as soon as Jake sees her, he hugs Rebecca's leg and he buries his face in her leg, turning his head away from her.

36:35Very different behavior for Jake. He doesn't do that. And Rebecca encourages him and says, Bub, it's okay. Take her your card and look her in the eye and hand her your card. I'm going to cry. And say to her, this is for you, Carly. I made you a card. And Jake, you know, tenses up and rubs his head more into her leg. And she goes, it's okay. And she didn't even have that out of her mouth. And instantly he decides, I'm going to go for it. Yes. He turns around. He walks over to her. He looks her in the eye. He hands her the card. And he says, this is a card I made for you, Carly. And I hope you like it. And he turns around. Oh, my gosh. He's three, by the way. He turns around and he runs. out of the house and around the corner. He's so embarrassed. Yeah, he's so embarrassed. Now, Rebecca's telling me the story, and I'm like, oh, that's so cute. So last night, we're in bed, and him and I pray together. And so this is how we do it. I start, and I just say some very basic stuff, and then I say, and now Lord Jake's going to pray. And what he does is rattle off the people that he knows, okay?

37:55He gets to Carly, and he pauses, and he goes, and he gets this giant smile. Now, you can hear a smile, okay? He doesn't smile when he does his prayers, but he does his prayers. He finishes, and he pauses, and you can hear a smile, and it's dark, and he goes, and also, I want to pray for Carly. My friend. And I said, and I go, and I'm like, in my mind, I go, forget it. I'm turning the lights on. So I turn the lights on and I look at him and he's sitting up and he's got this giant grin from ear to ear. And I go, bub, is Carly your friend? And he goes, I'm not kidding you. He practically squeals. And he's like jumping. He's like hopping around. He's hopping around the bed. He's real excited about her.

38:55And apparently she's coming over for something. And he couldn't be more excited. And I thought, I wonder if that is, like, can you be attracted physically? I mean, like, think somebody's pretty when you're three. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It just goes to show you that, like, those feelings, like, those raw feelings of, like, love and attraction. Yeah. They must come early, right? I used to babysit this one little boy. And his mom would tell me every time before I would come over, I think he was four. Yeah, he was four at the time. He would change his clothes like seven times and say, Mom, does this look cool? Does this look cool? And she would tell me, oh, my gosh. Go look in his room and all the clothes on the floor. He wanted to look so cool, quote, unquote, cool when you got here. And I was like, oh. That's so sweet. I know. I mean, I totally had those crushes. Maybe later we'll get him on the phone and see if he'll talk about her. That would be incredible. Because he probably will. I want that feeling that Jake has. I know it. Isn't that great? So sweet. Isn't that sweet? So sweet. He's such a sweet kid, man. He made her a card. Made her a little card. Do you know what the card said? No. We'll have to ask Rebecca. There's probably a whole lot of coloring of things. He probably maybe drew her. Maybe not a lot of words. You know what I want to know is if she's blonde or brunette. Because we know he likes Mariah Carey. Yeah. He's looking at Mariah Carey on Mike's iPad. He sure was.

40:20He sure was looking at Mariah Carey. White knuckled holding on to it. Yeah, didn't want to let it go. Okay. That's adorable. Let's see. I got to know. You got to know. What's the latest with Brett Favre? Woods on Sports brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, one thing I didn't think we'd have to talk about again was Brett Favre. Last week, we had an M1 call in and say, hey, breaking news. It's official. He's done. He retired. Yeah. Okay, great. He's done. Great career. Good for you, Brett. Well, now, no. He's back. Oh, gosh. He's back. Oh, my gosh. He's back. Just pick a side. Apparently what happened was guards Steve Hutchinson, Jared Allen, the stud defensive end for the Vikings, and Ryan Longwell, the kicker, they went to pick him up in Mississippi. They took a private plane, and they went in, and they said, hey, we got to have you. Can you imagine this scene? We got to have you.

41:33So here's what Longwell says. Quote, we simply went down there to get an answer. And after talking for a while, his answer was yes. He loves the guys in the locker room. He's doing it for all of us. You ever pretend to retire? Yeah. Yeah. Five times a year. How many times did he do it? By the way, did you guys know that when they got to Minnesota, when they landed in Minnesota, helicopters. It was like OJ. Yeah, breaking news. And they followed on the news. They followed the car that he was in. They show him getting off the plane like Obama getting off Air Force One. Getting in the car. Then they shut. Look at it on TV. They're showing it right now. The private plane landing. Then they show. You know, cameras with long lenses shooting from outside the fence. Then helicopters showing him in the SUV driving to the facilities. It's like dramatic. So dramatic. It's insane. So, again, not official yet. But he's in Minnesota. He's at training camp. He's been working out. I mean, let's all, you know.

42:41Put two and two together and see what happens. But, yeah, of course, we'll have to keep watching. Of course. Oh, boy. Well, the Padres won again last night, man. One to nothing over the Cubs. What a game. John Garland won his 12th of the year. So it's the ninth inning. One nothing pods. Cubs have a runner on. Heath Bell is in. Gives up a shot. to the outfield. And Ryan Ludwick, the new guy that we got from the Cardinals, jumps up into the ivy at Wrigley Field, pulls it back. Would have been a two-run game-winning homer. Cubs win. Padres win 1-0, which is just awesome. So, also, Giants lost. The lead in the West is five games now. The Padres are five games up. Here's Bud Black on watching that near-home run cut one. It sounds like he's in a bath, by the way. And then you sort of track the ball. You watch the outfielder. And then there's a moment that things look good. And then the ball's in the glove. And it feels great. It feels great. Wow. Yeah, man. It was a nail-biter. Anytime it's 1-0. And that's the Padres this year, man. They are winning those close games.

43:52Five games up in the West. That's unreal. Why is the Black Eyed Peas, tonight's going to be a good night, that song, playing in the back of every single sports club? They must really like it. That's all they listen to. Well, and also the Chargers yesterday ended, they had their last two-a-day practice, which I'm sure all the boys are very, very pleased about. Phillip Rivers is seeing a lot of good stuff from one section of players in particular, cut two. And to me. You talk about continuity, that's one spot that's probably as crucial as any spot. Offensive line, by the way. You can get to know a wide receiver. You can get to know – you can do a lot of the other things that you can just – that doesn't take as much as maybe people think. But having some consistency and having the same guys in there and working together because all those double teams and fits, it takes all five of those guys. I like his voice. I do too. I was just going to say I like listening to that dude talk. It's cool. And then finally, let me set a stage for you, okay? The year is 1951. The New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers are playing for the pennant, okay? Winner goes to the World Series. Dodgers are winning 4-2. Two men are on. One out. Ralph Branca for the Dodgers is on the mound. Bobby Thompson's at the plate. Cut three. Did the Giants win the pennant? I don't know. I can't really hear. Oh, yeah, they did. Nice. You know what that home run's called?

45:31I think it's famous. It's called the shot heard round the world. The heard round the world. Well, the guy that hit it, Bobby Thompson. It's probably the most famous home run in baseball history. He passed away yesterday at 86 years old. Interesting story. He became really good friends with the guy that threw the pitch. Really? They became boys and kind of had a little, they had like a bit. The shot heard round the world. Yeah, so Bobby Thompson passed away and just a world famous home run and baseball legend. Woodsy. That's it, buddy. Are you ready? Because when we come back, you're going to do the Krispy Kreme challenge, bro. Yummy. Get ready. We're going to videotape it. We're going to put it on MikeyShow.com and our Facebook page. And Woodsy's going to try to eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in under two minutes. Can it be done? If it can't be done and he comes short of a dozen, he will take a BB for every donut that is short. Oh, I went commando today, by the way. Oh, smart. Thanks for letting stuff go. So the donut challenge is next. And we also have the panel coming up for you. Don't go away. That sounds good in my eardrums. Just telling everybody here on the show that yesterday we're going to be getting right to the Woods donut challenge here in a second. Yesterday I was in Office Depot and they were playing music on the speaker. And I heard an artist that I don't know who it is. And if a listener knows of a new song that's being played right now.

47:16And all I remember about it, I thought the name of the song was Seven Days because it said something about coming home in seven days or when I get home in seven days or something like that. And I thought it might have been the Goo Goo Dolls, but I don't think it was. Anyway. You must really love this song. Oh, I want to download it. Oh, wow. And it was the deal, too, where if I could have, I would have taken my phone out because I have an app that will tell you what you're hearing on the radio, but it wasn't loud enough. Okay, Woods. Does this count? He's already balling him up. Yeah, that's fine. Let's do the Woods donut challenge. He's going to try to eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in two minutes or less. Oh, gosh. Should we have a trash can handy? Yes. Just in case. I can't see, though, so we've got to take that box cover down so that I can describe what's going on. So what he's done so far is he's taking one donut at a time and he's balling them up into balls. Krispy Kreme are fluffy, you know, so it's an easy thing to ball them up and make it a little bit more bite-sized. Now, for every donut that he doesn't eat out of the dozen in two minutes, he's going to have to take a BB for. Like a kid.

48:31Playing with sand. Pour some water on here. All right, are we ready? Yeah. Got a two-minute timer. All right, you ready? Want me to time it, Mike? I got it. On your mark, get set, go. One is in. Oh, boy. Chew, chew, chew. Don't forget your water. Don't chew, just swallow. Don't say that. He is chewing. He is chewing. He's got... You're watching the time? Yeah, I'm watching the time. He's got another one down. He's chewing. He's chewing. Oh, no. I think he's probably worried. Oh, gosh. He's taking a little water. He's taking water out of a container. It's okay. You can do it. Focus. He's chewing. He is very focused. He's closing his eyes. He just wiped with a napkin. Too much wiping and chewing. On to the third. He's got the third complete donut in his mouth. Bad move. Keep going. Do you think that dipping it in water would help? Maybe. Maybe. He's drinking some water. Just pour it all over him. Drinking water. He's chewing. He's chewing. He's chewing. Oh, wow. There goes another one. Oh, this time he's tried a different technique. He bit it in half. Oh, boy. That's okay. He's going to try a different technique. He's got little... His hands are covered in the white frosting that comes off the glazed Krispy Kremes. He's got one minute left. One minute!

49:47You can do it. One minute left. He's eaten how many? Four? Five? He's got 45 seconds left. He's eaten only four. 45 seconds left. He's only eaten four. I don't even know if he's going to keep going. I don't want it. You can do it. Oh, he's taking a little nibble. For everyone that you don't eat, Woods, you've got to take a BB. To the butt. To the belly. 30 more seconds. I'm done. 25 more seconds. You're not going to keep eating? No. Oh, wow. Okay. All right, then. Try it. One more. One more in there. How many are left? Yes. Yes, he threw out another. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. He doesn't want those BBs. They sting. They sting real good. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. The trash can. He's skeeving himself out. The trash can is there. The trash can is there. Are you going to go? The trash can is there. Are you going to lose it? Oh, he looks like you might. Barf. Barf. No. He's chewing. He's chewing. He's chewing. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Puky, puky. That would be so good. Time's up. Oh, what? He just spit out everything in his mouth. There's a full donut. Regurgitated like a bird. Eight. I gotta take eight BBs. Eight BBs. How about we do four now, four in a little bit? No. I'll take them. I'll take them. It's gonna take too long to do eight. Let's do four now. Spread it out. Is anyone else really bummed that he balled up the donuts so now no one else can eat them? Yeah. My bad. He's like, darn it. Yeah, that was not the plan, by the way. That was not the right way to do it.

51:11What do you think? Break in half, I think. Because balling it up made it harder. It made it too thick, that. Yeah. If you just heard a slapping noise, by the way. Those are filthy. That was the sound of Jay patting the target. Target. Onto his, oh, onto his left butt cheek. It's left butt cheek today. You're going left? I'm going to go left today, I think. All right. You're doing them all on the left? Why don't you mix it up a little? Yeah, that's what... Put the target right in the middle. No one's going to eat those donuts. You want the target right in the middle? No! I want you to mix it up. Left, right, left, right. Here we go. Eight bullets. Wait a minute. I'm going to go over by Jay because I want to call the action. Hang on. Hang on, Jay. Let me come over here. We're filming. Oh, wow. Wait, wait, wait. We moved the target. The target is now... So the top of his crack. Yeah, right in the middle on the top is crack small of his back right where winders tattoo would be Oh Wow, oh wow Oh

52:33There are rips in the target rips and by target she means woods to skin Yeah, he announced that he's gone commando in his shorts Dude that had to that had this thing good Trying to wolf down a dozen donuts. Holy cow. Woods, I thought you were going to be able to do it. Yeah, I am shocked. I need a little more time. Five minutes, I probably could have done it. If you had all day, yeah, I'm sure you could do it. Yeah, if I had 12 hours, I could have gotten it. Oh, man. You know how hard that is? Yeah. It's like lard. It's eating sugar lard. Ew. You would have not felt good right now. I just ate four. I'm, like, happy about it. Yeah. I'm like, hey, you did a good job. You ate a third of that box. Jeez. Oh, man. Oh, Woodsy. I've taken a BB. They hurt. Yeah, they do. They sting pretty good. Eight in a row. Woodsy just took eight in a row. In one spot. Yeah, he didn't mix it up at all. He kept going. He kept pop, pop, pop, pop. Woodsy kept yelling, switch, switch, switch. Nope. Ow. Blamey, wowie, zowie. Oh, man. That was good. That was fun. Got to tell you about Rob Bogoyevich in a minute. What happened with the...

54:01You're good at saying his last name. Looks like a toupee, doesn't it? Bogoyevich. Bogoyevich. Looks like he's wearing a toupee. Let's do the panel. Panel is where Sienna gives us kind of the big news stories of the day. And Woods and Lauren and me, we will comment. We get 20 seconds, okay? So the first thing up is this study that finds that superheroes are not good role models for kids. Yeah. What does that mean? Basically, what they're saying now is today's superhero is too much like an action hero who participates in nonstop violence. He's aggressive, sarcastic, and rarely speaks to the virtue of doing good for humanity. When the superhero is not in costume, these men, and they're using Iron Man as an example, exploit women, flaunt quote-unquote bling, and convey their manhood with high-powered guns. So they're saying, you know, like...

55:02they're not necessarily good people for young kids to look up to. Woodsy, what's your opinion on that? I can get on board with that. I think they make some interesting points, man. I think it's tough to have any role models for your kids these days. All the athletes are taking steroids and beating up their girlfriends and smoking weed. It's just hard. It's hard to do, but I think I can get behind that. All right. L-O-B. Please. The kids know that those aren't real people. It's fantasy. They know it's fantasy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's in cartoon form, first of all, in a drawing form. Yeah. And then if it goes to movie, it's so sensational that you know it's not real. Yeah. You know, I'm not even going to attempt it. Woods, you put it exactly how I feel to the point where I'm like, I can't add anything to that. It's exactly what I think. I'm freaked out, but I don't want it. You said it. I was going to go the athlete thing, and it said all of it. It's hard, man. And, you know, your kids. Because kids, when they get into something, they get real into it, man. I wanted Dukes of Hazzard. Everything Dukes of Hazzard. But these kids these days, man. Tony Stark? I don't want my kid being like Tony Stark on Iron Man. Kids grow out of it, though, when they idolize superheroes. See, I think we're all little kids growing up. I think we all stay that way. Does anyone believe that we're going to have invisible powers? Have you been to Comic-Con, my dear?

56:25You've been to Comic-Con. They do not grow out of it. They don't grow out of it. They know that that's the difference between real life and fantasy. They do, but they also idolize them. They do know it's not real, but they think they're cool. They think they're real cool. And it's teaching, you're like, I don't want that to be what my kid thinks is cool. I want to teach my kid what cool is. You know, hey, listen. Hey, ladies, all you got to ask yourself is, how do you feel about your daughters thinking that Khloe Kardashian is... But she's not a superhero. No. No, I know. I'm talking moms with their daughters. With your daughter, your daughters think something's cool. Yeah. If your daughter's, you know, dancing around, singing about how she wants her bottle of Jack. Jenna. Jenna. You know, I mean, you're like, great. Thanks, Kesha. But those are real people. Yeah. If the little girl plays with Barbies, she knows Barbie's not real. He just means bad role models that you can't help your kid's liking. You can't help it. Your kids are going to think something's cool. I get that. Next up, if you haven't heard about it, you're gonna. The cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

57:40This is intense. If you guys haven't seen this, you will. The cover of Rolling Stone magazine, I don't know if you're familiar with the show True Blood. It's on HBO, vampire show, blah. And it's a pretty intimate show. There's a lot of nudity, a lot of that kind of stuff. So they portray it on the new cover of Rolling Stone magazine. The three main characters from the show True Blood are completely naked on the cover, covered in splattered blood from head to toe. They're posed in a way where one guy's got a hand on a boob on the girl. That makes my mouth water. Yeah, a girl sandwiched between two guys, and their junk is all over each other's junk, and it's pretty crazy. Now, a lot of people are asking themselves, how do they put nude people on the cover of a magazine? They do it because they position their bodies in a way that you can't see the privates. Yeah, his privates are covered up by her leg, her boob is being grabbed by his hand, and her hand is covering his piece. I mean... That's an awkward photo shoot. Yeah. Those two are dating the two on the right. Oh, they are engaged, I think. Yeah. But I mean, still, people are like, OK, what? Like, this is not, you know, Playboy. That's not censored. Like, anyone can walk by and see this. They're covered in blood and they're naked. Yeah. Woods. Man, I'm pretty tough to get. And that kind of got me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a subscriber to Rolling Stone.

59:07Kind of can't wait to get my issue and take a look at it in person. But, I mean, it's hard to get me to, I'm not offended or anything, but I just think it's a little over the top. We don't need vampires, by the way. Maybe Jake is at your house and you have your subscription out and he's like, what's this Uncle Woods? What's this Uncle Woods? And then I'm a dirtbag. Yeah. L-O-B? Well, I don't think the nudity is so much an issue because you don't see anything. It was like when Janet Jackson had her hands, you know, her breasts were covered by hands. The Vanity Fair covered with Demi Moore when she was pregnant. I mean, same thing, but the blood goes over the top. It's disgusting. I mean, I like that show and to me it's getting a little too gory with all the blood. You know. You've heard me talk about it ad nauseum that this is what it takes now. You know, in order for us to get shocked, it takes three, not one, not two, three naked people covered in blood to get us to go, oh, in fact, if it had been one naked person covered in blood, we might go, oh, that's pretty trippy. Anyway, yeah.

1:00:10Two naked people, eh, we might be able to get away with two naked people drenched in blood. It took three naked people drenched in blood for us to go, oh my goodness, this is, now, fast forward, fast forward the tape. What's it going to be like in, you know, 20 years? In 20 years? I don't even want to know. That's going to be, that's, I mean, think about 20 years before now, okay? Think back to 1989 or 1990. You know, I mean, times have come a long way, times have changed. And so it'll take a lot more for things to shock us. Rob Bogoyevich, who has fascinating hair. Yes, he does. Fascinating hair. You know Rob Bogoyevich because he was trying to... Bribe Senate seats? He was impeached and arrested in 2008. Basically, he tried to sell Barack Obama's U.S. Senate seat after he was elected president. He's also been charged with fraud, racketeering, attempted extortion, bribery, conspiracy, and lying to investigators. So yesterday, do you want me to keep going? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do have audio, but...

1:01:16Is that the gist of it? I'm just getting people up to speed if they didn't know who he was. And yesterday he was in court and a jury convicted him. He was the former Illinois governor. And he was convicted of just one count of perjury in his federal corruption trial and deadlocking on the other 23 charges. So he only got one of them. Yeah. So here he is. From the very beginning when this all happened. I told them that I did not let them down. I didn't break any laws. I didn't do anything wrong. The government, the federal government, and this particular prosecutor did everything he could to target me and prosecute me. At the very least, Rod Bogoyevich is an odd guy. Part of the reason, he was on Celebrity Apprentice. You said that, right? No, I didn't say that. He was on Celebrity Apprentice. It's weird. In the middle of all of this, dude is on Celebrity Apprentice. Was he out front of the place in Chicago? He had his trench coat open. He's like, yo, yo, I got Senate seats. I got gold watches. I know. Who wants to take the spot? I got radios. Whatever you need. How crazy is that? I know. Persecute me. Put pressure on my family.

1:02:27try to take our home, take me away from our kids, arrest me in the early morning hours on December the 9th with Patty and me in our bedroom and our little Annie in bed with us, a sitting governor. And that very prosecutor said that he was stopping a crime spree before it happened. Well, this jury just shows you, notwithstanding the fact that this government and the power and the resources that they bring to bear, this jury just shows you. That notwithstanding the fact that the government threw everything but the kitchen sink at me, that on every count except for one and every charge except for one, they could not prove that I did anything wrong. Well, what was the one again? Perjury. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's pretty gnarly. That's a pretty big one. Yeah. And prosecutors have said that they're going to retry him on all the other charges. He sounds like he feels like he's vindicated. But I'm like, if they were deadlocked, they didn't vote not guilty. You know what I mean? So I wouldn't. be all fired up just yet. You're completely exonerated. Yeah, exactly. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back. ...that I did break any laws, except for one nebulous charge from five years ago, a conversation that I had with the FBI, where the FBI, and I agreed to that interview, refused to allow me to have a court reporter in the room. I want the people of Illinois to know I did not lie to the FBI. I've told the truth. Oh, so he's saying, hey, even the one they got me on is not true. I didn't lie to anybody.

1:03:49Of course. He's just scummy. You can hear it in his voice. He is dirty. There's something that makes me uncomfortable. Yeah. From the very beginning, this is a persecution. We have police officers who are being gunned down on the streets. We have children. Okay. Oh, there's that bit. Yeah. The bigger fish to fry bit. Yeah, exactly. The bigger fish to fry. There's always a bigger fish to fry bit. Doesn't make what you do any better. Right. I know. Is it weird that when I... I don't get them very often, but when I do get a Big Mac, that I take it completely apart and reassemble it as a smaller hamburger. What? Wait, wait, what? Mike. All right, follow me here. Okay, so a Big Mac, okay? Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and a sesame seed. Onions on a sesame seed. Onions on a sesame seed bun. That is 100% correct. Very nice. The song helped him. It's two layers. It's delicious. I have always felt categorically that two patties on a burger is completely unnecessary. That's crazy talk. Really? That's what Wood says. That's crazy talk. Necessary at times. Absolutely. I've never had a Big Mac. You can taste both of the burgers at the same time? I don't know what I'm more fascinated about.

1:05:13The fact that we're having this conversation or the fact that you, like my wife, have never had a Big Mac. That blows me away. I've never had one either. Oh. Oh, wow. My gosh. Oh, my gosh. I thought that was something that every American has done. I've had at least one. I've never had a double stacker. I've had a club sandwich. Most Russians have had. I've had a club sandwich. Club sandwich. Same thing, right? No, you can't compare. Well. Organic turkey and lettuce. I had some carrots a few minutes ago. What I do is I take the thing apart and I put it back together and I take out the middle bun. That's ridiculous. I take the middle bun out and I make a regular sized hamburger. But why order a Big Mac? Because I love that special sauce. I love the lettuce cheese. I love the pickle and the onions and the sesame seed bun. So instead of two thin patties, you condense it into one big one. Yep. You get your fingers in there? You take the piece of bread out there. I make it a regular. I'm on board with that. Mac. The extra piece of bread is excessive. No, it's delicious. There's three pieces of bread in a Big Mac. It's excessive. And there's two hamburger patties. And I feel like you can get rid of that.

1:06:23Other patty and that piece of bread and you've got a regular sandwich. Is that weird to disassemble? Is there a way you can just ask for the Big Mac sauce on a cheeseburger? You could. You know, like why not just put patty? No, not the same. Not a sesame seed bun. They don't give you the sesame bun. Not on a regular cheeseburger. It's the only one I think with the, well, I think the quarter pounder might have sesame seed bun as well. I'm kind of an aficionado. Do they have a half pound there? They don't, right? See, you couldn't get that burger because the two quarter pounders are a half pound burger. I love the flavor, though, L.O.B. I love the flavor of a Big Mac. That's what I'm saying. There's no other way to do it except for the way you're doing it. Now, do anybody do weird stuff, like, with your food? Do you have a strange ritual or a strange thing that you do? You know what I do? I'm an idiot. I order Hawaiian pizza, and I take the pineapple off. Why not just get Canadian bacon pizza? You take it off and don't eat it at all? You eat it separately? No, I don't eat it at all. Do you like the sauce of the pineapple? I think I might like a little bit of the flavor, but I don't like fruit on my pizza. Yeah, I get that. You get that? I totally get that. Do you? I think it's weird. I'm like, why don't I just get a Canadian bacon pizza? You know what that would be like? It would be like getting nachos that had jalapenos. You like that?

1:07:36jalapeno flavor, but you don't want a whole bite. Yeah, you want the juice. You want the juice. When I make spaghetti, I have to cook the noodles separately and the sauce separately, and I don't combine them together because I like to control the portion amount of my sauce. I do that. Oh, my husband hates it. He's like, pour the sauce in there and stir it all together. I don't like that. And I'm like, I don't want to. Sometimes I want a little sauce. Sometimes I want a lot. I want to control the distribution of the sauce. I like mayonnaise and crackers. That's freaking weird. That's just a weird, gross thing. It's delicious. You got to try it. Like regular mayonnaise? Regular mayonnaise on a saltine cracker. Oh, that's filthy. My mom put this method in my head where if she makes a couple things, She never liked it if you just ate one thing at a time. Like, say we had, like, meatloaf, peas, mashed potatoes, and something else. Yeah. It would irritate her if you finished one and then moved on to the next. So now I have to. I have to have a little bit of everything at the same time. I mix all mine. Lofi just hit on something so funny to me because there are certain people that I know.

1:08:42that will do that method of eating one thing at a time. I've never understood. My mom, she would get so mad because she would cook it and sit there and watch us eat it at the kitchen table. She's like, don't do that. Don't eat just the meatloaf. Eat the meatloaf and eat the mashed potatoes. My husband's one of them. Because if you eat like that, it's like work now. Who wants to just sit there and eat a pile of green beans? And then you, like, rotate the plate, and you're like, and now I'm on to the next course. How about a little variety? Oh, man, I mix it all together in one, man. She used to get so mad. My sister would do it. She was a picky eater, too. Yeah, I think it's the picky eaters. I love the getting a green bean on my fork and then... Dipping the green bean in mashed potatoes. Absolutely. And then maybe getting a little chunk of meatloaf. Yes. Delicious. Oh, yeah. Mashed potatoes with meatloaf together in one bite. Nothing better. That's what I'm having for dinner tonight. Do you guys know the people that can't have things touching? I think my sister was one of them because to her, mixing the three together was filthy. Repugnant. Yeah. Again, my husband, one of them.

1:09:52I have to make sure everything's separated, and he works on one, finishes it completely, then to the next, then to the next. M1 Joe from Chula Vista. Oh, he hung up, but he does the Big Mac thing, too. Oh, wow. Your husband, by the way, your husband, Todd Sienna, turned me on to the idea of day-old spaghetti. Oh, yeah. Delicious. It soaks into the pot. Yeah, the gravy soaks in the macaroni. That's right. There you go. He wants to open a restaurant. Day-old spaghetti. It's not a bad idea. It's not. It's not a bad idea. The word of the day is stapler, by the way. So when you hear us work that into a sentence, just be caller number 9 at 570-194-90. You'll get some tickets to the Wild Animal Park, which are real good tickets. Now, you know Dr. Laura used the N-word on the radio, right? flip people out and uh you know you got to have context to it the whole deal if you haven't heard the story we'll tell you but also here's the deal with it so she was on larry king talking about the whole controversy and what she said what she did the whole deal and made a pretty stunning comment of her own last night on the show so we'll play you the audio of it this song is great this song is great

1:11:11Have you heard it? Yeah, I've played it. Yeah, you're obviously, you're playing it. LLB, have you heard this song? Yeah, I don't like this song. You don't? I love it, dude. I now know that I'm getting middle-aged because I'm like, I'm in. I'm out on 95% of John Mayer's songs. John Mayer, sing to me anytime. You're still waiting for the word of the day to be used in a sentence here on The Mikey Show. The word of the day is stapler. So when you hear it, call our number 9 at 570-1949. We have to use it in a sentence. And then I'm going to play you this. What did Dr. Laura say last night on Larry King? She'd already used the N-word. He asked her about it. We'll play you that. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, home sales throughout Southern California have slumped as of last month, experiencing the biggest drop in more than two years. In San Diego alone, home sales... Oh, hi.

1:12:30Is that you, Woodsy? I'm so thrown off. You heard audio. I know. I didn't hear it. Is that in my head? In San Diego alone, home sales fell 19.4% from July of last year. Really? Yeah. I thought it was going to get better. I know. A lot of people did. Hopefully it will. I know. Also, some good news, especially for you guys. Jay was just talking about how the surf is getting better. Lifeguards are scaling back on shark patrols. In case you didn't hear, a great white shark was spotted off La Jolla Shores on Sunday. And a week before, it was also spotted in... Where was it spotted before? Just north of San Diego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in where the big... So now lifeguards are scaling back. They had to bring a lot more out there. They were on wave runners patrolling for sharks. Haven't spotted the sharks since Sunday, so you can go back in the water and try to rest assured. Maybe he left. Don't surf alone and don't go when they're feeding. That's right. When do they feed?

1:13:30Like dusk. Dusk and dawn. Dusk and dawn. Best times to surf. I know, right? Don't dress like a seal just to be funny. Don't put chum in your suit. No. Don't swim when you're bleeding. Yes. Quit wearing a meat helmet. Silly. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, we talked a little bit yesterday about Peyton Manning getting his... Block knocked off when he was playing the other day, and he had 12 stitches in his hat. And they're saying, Matt, we're not really sure if he's going to play this weekend against the Steelers. And, hey, if I'm the Giants, I'm like, no, I'm not. He's not playing. He's my franchise quarterback. He's going to sit on the bench. Why is Jaws still playing? It's freaking me out. Because I know it's going to freak you out. So he's going to go under. He's going to do some more tests, but there's no signs of concussion. And also, the Padres are taking on the Cubs in an early game today. It'll be 11-20 Pacific time. It's Clayton Richard against Casey O'Neill. Or no, something. I don't know. Casey Coleman. What if we did a whole show with Jaws music played? I'm driving nuts. I can't. I'm spun out right now. Plus, I'm on a sugar high. Oh, yeah. All those Krispy Kreme donuts. All four of them. Yeah, all four. Wimp. Try a challenge. Either of you.

1:14:43Hey, come up with it one day. I was like, I'll eat a whole stalk of celery right now. Immediately. Okay, so Dr. Laura went on a radio show, and a black woman called in and said, hey, I get my feelings hurt because my husband's white, and when we go over to his friend's houses. When a neighbor comes over to our house. Yeah, they do this thing. The neighbors do this thing where I become the official black person, and they start asking me questions about, you know. Black questions. What's it like when you're black and this happens? Yeah. You know, stuff like that. Dr. Laura, you know, got irritated at her. Yeah. And so Dr. Laura says, as she's going into commercial, Dr. Laura goes, hey, listen to these rap stars now singing about N-word, N-word, N-word. She used the N-word 11 times in five minutes. No way. Yeah. So she took a lot of heat for it. She apologized, right? She did. She was really apologetic. Well, she just went on Larry King last night. So what are you here to tell us tonight? Well, I'm here to say that my contract is up for my radio show at the end of the year, and I've made the decision not to do radio anymore. The reason is I want to regain my First Amendment rights. I want to be able to say what's on my mind and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful.

1:16:12without somebody getting angry, some special interest group deciding this is a time to silence a voice of dissent and attack affiliates and attack sponsors. I'm sort of done with that. I'm not retiring. I'm not quitting. I feel energized, actually, stronger and freer to say the things that I believe need to be said for people in this country. You're giving up the one area of your fame. Oh, my dear. I write books. I have blogs. I have my website. I have speaking engagement. People think Dr. Laura, they think her radio talk show, right? Well, this is the era of the Internet. Well, and, you know, to her defense, she's got about a billion books, and they sell. They're number one on the bestsellers list when they come out. And she does pretty good with, you know, writing books. Well, I was thinking the same thing Larry King was. In my head, I'm like, okay, so you. You want to keep your First Amendment right, but you're going to give up the platform that allows you to do and say those things. One of them. I'll break it. The main one, though. Listen, I know exactly what she means, and I'll tell you exactly what she means as a broadcaster, specifically radio broadcaster. Radio is so much different than television in that you can't, well, they have it really tough in TV, what they can say on television.

1:17:39But particularly in radio, particularly in morning radio, we are under a lot of scrutiny. And there are a lot of special interest groups that are out there waiting for you to say something wrong. And as soon as you do, they want to run you up the flagpole. And so what she's saying there is that when she made her comments, which I'm sure she doesn't, I don't believe that she really thinks that she said and did anything wrong and had every right to be able to say it under the First Amendment. that after she said it, she got a lot of pressure from her probably managers saying you need to go on the air and you need to say you're sorry and you need to do this and you need to do that. Now, I would never do the following bit now, but I did this in Dallas and I almost got fired. Okay? We fed a snake a rabbit. Right. That's what they eat. Not only is that what they eat, that's what this, that's what, if you have a boa constrictor as a pet, that's what they, that's what you,

1:18:39feed them. Kind of like if you have a dog, you feed a dog kibbles and bits. That's what you go to the store and buy for them. Dog food. Well, snake food for a python is a rabbit. And you know me, I'm into animal shows. Of all the things that we ever did, never in my wildest dreams did I think that that was going to be controversial. You know, because I used to be a shock jock and I used to do all kinds of crazy things. that I am really ashamed of and that were really, you know, looking back, I go, man, I was young and really not using very good judgment. But the snake thing blew me away. And let me tell you, there were advertisers that were calling and threatening the radio station. There was special interest groups that came out and wanted me fired, wanted me fired from the radio. And I had to go on the air and apologize for it. You didn't want to? No.

1:19:38I didn't want to because I fed a snake a rabbit. Which is what you would buy it if that was your pet. Which is if you had a snake at home and it was lunchtime, rabbit. That's what they eat. And pinky mice and all that. Yeah, I guess it's, you know. Now, I get the exploitation of it. They're saying, well, you're doing it because it's sensational. That's 100% true. I was doing it because it was sensational, but it was also fascinating to me at the same time. And it was sensational. I was there. Yeah, it was sensational. You were? I was. I was at the station at the time. It was sensational. I totally understand where she's coming from. She's 63 years old. I don't think that she's racist in any way. What she said was wrong, but I think she's like, come on. I don't need to be dealing with this right now. I've proven myself. You know that I'm not this person. I've apologized for it. I'm not going to keep apologizing. I'm done. So they win, though. They win. She quits. They win. Yeah. And they win. Yeah.

1:20:35They wouldn't have won unless she made the decision herself. I think that this decision is like, you know what, I'm sick of it. I just don't like it. And there have been times in radio that I have felt that way, where I go, there are a lot of elements of the industry that I don't like. You know what I wish? I wish that things didn't have to be predicated on ratings, even though ours are phenomenal. Even though we're number one, I don't like it. I don't like competing that way. It's very subjective, too, man. In my mind, it's not a real valid way to judge somebody, especially what we do. It's hard. And how hard people work. Right. It's not fair, per se. If it were me, I would just go, you know what? This show on the radio is funny, and that show on the radio is funny. This show has fans and you have fans. Great. Have a bowl. You know, and there's somebody in charge and that somebody goes, well, listen, when you start to sound like all craggity and pretty bad, we'll take you off the radio. We'll get something fresh and new. Yep. Man, that'd be great. Wouldn't that be dynamite? That would be absolutely dynamite. Just come and do our show every day. I hate ratings. They make me sad. They make me, even when they're good, they make me sad. Yeah.

1:22:00competitive and it's you know everyone knows what your ratings are and it's like everybody thinks that's the funny part is everybody thinks they know what your ratings are and this is a deal here's the deal with the ratings I'll go people say well how could you be sad even when they're good because you could be number one but your rent your share of the ratings goes down a little bit right and I and you know I've had to try to get into a place where I'm like I can't let it affect me. I can't let it affect my life. I've told you, and Mike, when we first started, when we started and stayed hot and out of the gate, my thing is I don't want to know. I don't want to know how we're doing. I don't want to know. I figure if I just put my head down and try to be funny and try to be good every day, it'll all work itself out. That stuff bogs me down to no end. The more real we are on the radio and true to what we just are normally. Like right now, to me, there might as well not be microphones in front of us. This is a way we would talk. In a meeting. In a meeting. And that, as long as we keep doing that, it's great, but it just, oh, the whole thing makes me, my heart beat fast. Mine too. Mine too, my friend. How about this one for making your heart beat fast? Jay writes in his recap that the other day a little girl asked his seven-year-old son, Jasper,

1:23:26If they could do a sleepover. Is that a kid? A creep doesn't fall far from the creep, does it? Why does that make Jasper a creep? Jasper's not a creep. Just kidding. He's adorable. The two of them, Jay, have been friends for a long time. For a long time, yeah. Since they were a little bitty. He's going to punch me in the back. I'm going to shoot you in the back. Now you said no, right? I said no. They've actually had a sleepover before. But when they were younger, Kim and I were going somewhere. And so the little girl said, can Jasper sleep over? And I was with me like, no, he's seven. And Kim's like, you're crazy. What are they going to do? And I think back to when I was five, playing Dr. J, Dr. J, right away. Didn't you when you were five? I never played doctor. You didn't have curiosity? I was the creep. I was kissing boys when they were sleeping. How old? Four. Five. I was making him go skinny dipping with me. Pervert. You know what the other gender has and you want to see it. Yeah, but it's all innocent. Totally. It's curiosity. Innocent but, comma, inappropriate period. They're not going to start like dry up. Aren't they? They could. Aren't they? Feels real good. How do you know?

1:24:51Not when you're five. Doesn't it? No, you're five. It doesn't work yet. I think it does. I know it works. Maybe it does. It's not appropriate. Okay, then it isn't appropriate. Okay, then just put them in separate rooms, but let them have a sleepover. That's no fun. You want to sleep with your friend. I thought that's the point of a sleepover. No, I mean, two dudes don't necessarily share a bed in a sleepover. When there's seven, they do. Oh, when there's seven, they do. Share a bed? Why don't they sleep on a floor in sleeping bags? Well, they do that, too. Or if it's a big bed, they can both sleep in. You build a tent. We build a lot of tents. I don't know. I don't have kids, but I would think seven is still. Oh, I've seen the. Can I just put this out there? I'm just going to say this. What? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. But, I mean. Listen, we're all adults. I'm just saying, anything good ever happen on sleepovers? I mean, doesn't stuff happen on sleepovers no matter what? I mean, really? Don't they? No? I could never sleep as a kid. I actually would dread sleepovers because I could never sleep. I loved sleepovers. I did too, but I'm thinking about them and I'm like, you're unsupervised so often.

1:26:01No, it isn't. Montana into the woods. I mean, I think that you're right if it's a boy and a girl. You're not constantly supervising. We were building forts and playing Bloody Mary in the mirror. Bloody Mary? Yeah. Let me rephrase. I love sleep. I just hate the part where it was time to go to sleep because I knew I could never fall asleep at someone else's house. But didn't you guys do stuff that was not... No, we weren't nude. When you get to like middle school and it's sleepovers and there's like a bunch of kids spending the night, then you're up to no good. Sneaking out your toilet paper and your shaving cream in people's cars. Maybe you break into somebody's car. You know, you never know what might happen. Wow. Some of us had different kinds of sleepovers. I love these girls. pierced my belly button with a needle. Oh my gosh! And an ice cube. No way! How old were you? Middle school. Did it turn black? No, it didn't turn black, but I fainted. What middle school? What is that age? Eighth grade. Eighth grade? You did that? Yeah. That's hardcore. What did they do? Like a sewing needle? Yes. I know. Now this was in prison, right? You were in prison when you did this. I was in middle school. I was like, I don't care. Go ahead. Wow. I fainted. It hurt.

1:27:15Holy cow. I always fell asleep. I was the first one out every time. I was so jealous of you. I was always like hand in water, see if she'll wet herself, stuff like that. So let's set the rules. How old should we stop? How old are sleepovers? How old do you let them go? Well, for opposite sex? Yes. Oh, I would not do seven. Really? That's too young or too old? I think it's too old. It's too old to let him go. Well, I mean, you can have sleepovers with your girlfriends if you're a girl or your boyfriends if you're a boy for as long as you want. Yeah, what grade is seven? Well, you were sexually assaulting other boys when you were four. Yeah. That's funny. I don't know if, I mean, I don't know. Sexually assaulting. Assaulting. They were sleeping. I made them do it. I would put my fist in their face and be like, do it. And men would kill for that now. The roles totally switch. The roles change. I had my best friend when I was in kindergarten, which is what, five? Yeah. It was Lisa Lee. It was my best friend. Yeah. And we used to do sleepovers, and I don't remember. We never did any, like, you know. Maybe after kindergarten. I was not even in kindergarten yet. The little girl down the street, her name was Linda Lemming. Oh, gosh. Never forget old Linda Lemming. Lisa Lee and Linda Lemming. I know. What's with the double L's? I got in so much trouble because I got grounded from playing with her because I would make her take all her clothes off and then.

1:28:39I would just run away with a close play house. Yeah, stuff like that happens. You'd go home and tell her mom. Jay's always been kind of the same guy, hadn't you? Yeah. Hey, I was four and a half or five. That's amazing. I know so many people that that happened to when they were little like that. It scares me. You're all of a sudden naked and a parent walks in like, where's your clothes? All of a sudden naked. Somebody write that down. What will I do? What do you do, Mikey? What do you do? I was all of a sudden naked. Mikey will spin out so bad. Hey, beautiful hair. I don't care. Don't touch her. It's your hands off her. Yeah, but it's not in any bad way. It's just little kids are curious. Why do you have that and I have this? I don't want to know where to go. No, you're not going to. Give me the gold. No. No. You're staying far away from the gold, my friend. Yes. You're too young for the gold. And I'd like you to wait until you're married to get the gold. Good luck. Yeah. So we alluded to this yesterday, but we're actually going to play it for you when we get back. It's the, I've heard it, okay? It's the weirdest thing ever. There's a pop song out there right now by Justin Bieber. And the song is called You Smile. It's called You Smile. It sounds like this. Pop song by Justin Bieber. That is a boy, yes. Yes, it is. Now, check this out. When we get back, we're going to play for you. That song slowed down.

1:30:16800 times. It's the trippiest thing you've ever heard. I am telling you, it sounds like Enya. And I'm not kidding. I'm not overselling this. When we get back and you hear this, you will trip out. Mikey Show is me. I'm Mikey. Woodsy's the guy in the white v-neck every day. Mr. Consistent. That's right. L-O-B is the blondie with the dangling earrings with a penchant for African-American men. A penchant. True. And Sienna is the pretty girl over here to my left that's having a baby any day. And Jay, he's our producer. The word of the day is stapler, so when you hear us use the word stapler, work that into a sentence real slyly.

1:31:50then you gotta be caller number nine at 570-1949. Get yourself some of those Wild Animal Park tickets. Okay, so the song from Justin Bieber, I'd never heard it before in my life. It doesn't really matter if you've ever heard it, if you even know who Justin Bieber is. It doesn't matter. This is just a cool little stunt, okay? And the song is called You Smile. The song is called You Smile. Woods is in pain. I'm in love. I'm 15 years old. I know nothing about nothing. You would have done the same thing. Pretend that I do. He is cute. So girl, let's hold hands. Now check this out. The French real good. Here is the same song. Slowed down 800%. Oh, wow. Sounds like Titanic. Yeah. My yoga retreat.

1:33:40Dude! Listen. It's gorgeous. Sounds like Enya. Yeah. I love that stuff. That's rad. Sounds like someone who's lost in the jungle. Yeah. You know, and this is playing in the background. Yeah, LLV's going through the, pulling the vines apart. In slow-mo. Yeah, in the Congo. They break free and they... Yeah, slow motion victory down to their knees. helicopter right above you. Bro, this sounds like your testimony music. It does. Atticus Rocks. That sounds amazing. This summer, from director Peter Jackson, the Lord of the Rings trilogy returns with The Hobbit. You can hear his voice and it sounds slightly creepy. One woman's search for a black man.

1:35:04It really does sound like that music though. Here, let me play you what Woodsy's talking about. It's this new music that I've been using during my testimony. Chilling. Chilling. I love it. I would listen to that driving. We should speed this up by 800%. I know. We should. What if you sped it up and it was like, I want to hold your hand. That is so awesome. Dude, we should take this and speed it up 800% and see. I'll freak you, baby. Be a new pop song. Put it on the 800% speed up machine that I have in here. It does sound very similar. It's very similar. Makes you wonder if that's how they make it. They just take something and slow it down. They take Metallica and just slow it down. I want to slow down everything now. Yeah. That would be fun to just slow stuff down. Yeah. Or speed stuff up. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start doing it with every song. I'm pretty easily amused, so I'd be all the way in. I know. All of us would be. This is your testimony music? Yeah. This is the new testimony stuff now. Yeah, yeah. That's so rad. Right here. This right here. I love that, man. What is that? It's beautiful, man. The song is called Panoramic by Atticus Ross. I feel very zen right now. Yeah, very relaxed.

1:36:43Do you prefer deep tissue or sweet? Deep tissue, you know that. Don't say it, Jay. I can read your mind from in here. You know it. Creeper. I knew exactly what he was going to say. Did you see him gearing up? I saw him revving up his engine. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine him as a kid? Oh boy. Speaking of, by the way. In Encinitas yesterday, I saw two kids I know, these dudes, were in their car, and I pulled up next to them, both smoking cigarettes, and I thought, neither of these guys are over 17 years old. There's no way. Got to be 18 to smoke.

1:37:36Yeah. Got to be 18 to smoke, right? You're supposed to be. Yeah, you're supposed to be. You're also not supposed to have kids in the car with you when you're smoking, but apparently that doesn't apply to some people. Are you not supposed to? I mean, I don't know if there's any laws against it here, but morally you shouldn't. It's disgusting. I saw a woman driving with, like, toddlers in her car. Blasting suits. I've seen that. It's so, I mean, and I've seen, like, it's one thing to do it. next to the person in the open air in the outside. But when you have kids in a car like that, trapped, breathing that air, I wanted to rear end this woman. Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't say something. What do you say from the car? Don't smoke with little kids in the car. From the car? How's that secondhand smoke doing? That's bad. Yeah, but there should be a law. I know that in New York, they're trying to pass a law that you get fined if you're smoking. Yeah, if you're smoking and you have kids that are under 14 in the car. Really? Yeah. That is a great law. That's a great law. I would vote on that 100%. Absolutely. Yeah. Why 14? You can't talk. Yeah, why 14? Maybe it's like shown, because I know kids can get like asthma and all kinds of health problems. Maybe it's like when the lungs are morphing. Stopped growing or something.

1:38:50Gnarly. Anybody seen that? 570-1949. That makes complete sense to me. I mean, you get a ticket for holding up your cell phone when you're driving. Why can't you get one when you're smoking in front of children? Something that's known to cause cancer. Well, if they've proven, if they've said that secondhand smoke causes cancer, how is smoking with a toddler in the car not the same as giving a cigarette to a toddler? Yeah, right. How is it not? The same. It bums me out when I see parents smoking in front of their kids when they're outside of a car right next to them. That bums me out. Have you seen that? Oh, yeah. I saw it outside Target the other day. A woman pushing her cart. The kid was holding on to the cart and the mom was just smoking. One of the worst things. Working to their car. I've seen like a, like. Dixie horn thing like I've seen outside of like a Walmart or something like that a dad be like hey and as he's yelling at his kid the smoke just billowing out of his mouth it's just like the trashiest scene and just so sad well it's listen you want to smoke you smoke but the kids it's gnarly right I mean and I think you can you can get in trouble for it M1 Red from Vista you there yeah go ahead

1:40:01Really? But you don't get the ticket just for smoking? You have to have something else, too? Yeah, they have to catch you for something else, just like the cell phone. Wow. It's ridiculous. That's like the seatbelt thing, too, I think. Is that the case with the cell phone? No. They have to catch you for something else? No, no, no. I think that's what the seat... It might be. I don't know. I could be wrong, but I thought with a seatbelt, it was only to compact. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what the actual law is, but I know that it's either way, if you get busted, if they pull you over, you're done. And they can pull you over for talking on your cell phone. L.O.B. got pulled over for it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 570-1949. Yeah, listen. It's bad. And you know what else, too? You know what I thought? It would make me mad, too, is if I was at a place and they're smoking, and my kid. Oh, yeah. It's not their kid. It's my kid. Yeah. Especially because we don't, there's not very many places where you can smoke indoors in California. So, I mean. Is there anywhere?

1:41:16I don't know. I mean unless there's designated areas or I don't even know but I'm spoiled by it. When I go back to the East Coast sometimes and I'm inside I'm like oh my god. Oh it's bad. 570-1949. Like little I mean they just used to smoke all the time parents in front of kids. Oh yeah. You know like my grandma smoked always in front of my mom and that was normal. Now it's like don't even think about it. How is that possible? What's that? Just all the things that people used to do. Because knowledge, you didn't know that. You didn't know the effects that it had. And cigarettes now are worse, aren't they? I don't think so. I think they're better because they have filters. Oh, okay. M1 Shelley from Casa De Oro, are you there? I'm here. What's going on? The law is just if they see you with a cigarette, man, they can pull you over and you get a ticket. Have you ever gotten a ticket before? No, I don't smoke around kids. I am a smoker. I'm also a nanny. And, I mean, my whole rule with myself is if I smoke in the morning, I take a shower before I'm near the kids and I've got clothes that don't have any cigarette smoke on them. Good for you. That's cool. Very considerate. Oh, you know what? The little kids, I mean, it's the cigarette, the secondhand smoke that's on your clothes. Yeah.

1:42:38them. It bothers their eyes and stuff. It can? Can you imagine holding a little baby after you've had a cigarette? I didn't know that that could get them. Yeah, it can irritate them. Yeah. I don't, uh, thank you for the call. Like, Woods smokes, and it wouldn't bother me to have him. Every now and then. I haven't smoked since Friday. Right. So good. You never smelled like smoke. You know when you smoked. That doesn't, like, you know. I have, like, one a day on the average. Listen, you're really. I had, like, five on Friday. So I average maybe one a day a week. Maybe Woods is getting something off his chest. Hey, I used to smoke a pack a day. Yeah. You've cut back. Dude, I cut back. I cut it in. Tenths. Twentieths. You get credit for that. Absolutely. It ain't easy. Maybe it's a moment right now. Woods is just letting it out there. He's coming clean. He's coming clean. I came clean when I got back from New Orleans. I blasted cigs in New Orleans. On the air? On the air. Yeah. I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. No, I didn't. Six to ten. Yeah, six to ten, 94.9. He said, and he was at the casino or something, and Jay and Lauren were right there. That's right. That's right. I forgot. Yeah, and then, you know, since I've gotten back, I've been like.

1:43:49I haven't bought a pack of cigarettes in a month and a half. Yeah. It doesn't bother me if you were to come over and you smelled like smoke. See, that bothers me, and I was always the guy I carried. I had gum with me, and I had the sanitizer in my car. That would bother me. I don't want to come pick up your kids. Really? Oh, I would not like that. I don't want to pick up your kids and be like, hey. And your car smells like smoke. I'd be like, ooh. Smell like a Marlboro. Yeah, you know. Not ideal, but. She was at, like, someone's party, and there was a woman there that was someone's grandmother, not our grandmother, that, like, was smoking minutes before and was trying to take her baby and was like, give it a Grammy. And she's like, you're not my Grammy. Oh, wow. Don't touch my child, you stinky turd. Oh, God. M1 Sweden from Vista, you there? Are you there, Sweden? Go ahead. Hey, I was just saying that I'm listening to you guys, and I'm a smoker also. Yeah. And I... I have some nephews of mine that I get in the car with them and I know if I'm going to smoke or need to smoke, it's a bad habit and dirty habit. But I know not to get in the car and smoke with them in it because they can't help it. You know, they can't roll down the window themselves, you know, unless they're like power windows right next to them. But how many kids that are infants that are riding car seats now to roll down the window and smoke? Yeah. Be careful, man. You don't want to get on that oxygen stuff because you're...

1:45:16Doing too. Yeah, smoking too much. You know what I mean? Exactly. You don't want that. It's a good move. It's a class. It's like an issue of like classiness. You know, you can't just do that around kids. It's like other people see you and like how. And especially you. And you know, like riding in a car. It's like. Yeah. You guys know class. You're just. You know. It's kind of trashy. You know that it's not something that you should be doing, and you want to be a good role model, too. Sure. We're talking about smoking cigarettes, right? Yes. Okay. I'm just making sure. M1 E-Man from IB. Pretty good. Smokers get a bad rap. How's that? You know, we pay a lot of taxes to smoke. It's true. It's true. And, you know, they take it from the park, the beach. You can't smoke. Now, not in your car. Yeah? No, just with little kids in there. With the kids, yeah. Which you wouldn't do. No, I mean, who would do that? E-Man, would you smoke if you had a kid in the car? I have two kids and I know I don't smoke in the car with them because I remember when my mom was a smoker. Would she do that? No, I don't. No, no, no. Would your mom do it when you were a kid? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. Back then. Foul. Terrible. That was typical. That's part of the pussification of America. You know, everyone cries over everything now. I kind of...

1:46:37Listen, I can see your point in it. I mean, I'm a longtime smoker, man. And my bit was always, yeah, where do we smoke now? You know, in our closet, under a blanket? You know, that's the only place. But, you know, when it comes to little kids, you can't mess around. Is it really the pussification or is it the education of America? I mean, it's like, you know, now we know that it's not making our kids sick and they're going to live longer and we don't have to pay for health care when they're older. Hey, E-Man. You were probably pretty bummed out when they stopped it in restaurants and everything. No? Yeah. The beach, man. True. You shouldn't smoke at the beach. Why not? You know why? Yeah, I don't want it at the beach. But people don't. I do. Really? I smoke at the beach. When I do smoke, I smoke at the beach. It's the dough that people get upset about, you know? It's the bad apples that spoiled it. Absolutely. Yeah, they did it with us for drinking, too. If everyone quit smoking, and the state's going to get their tax money from other people, then all you non-smokers, you're going to pay another way then, you know? Yeah, we pay. Hey, smokers, people that smoke, pay through the wazoo. It's $12.75 for a pack of cigarettes in New York City right now.

1:47:56And people lining up to buy them. Well, I think smoking should be a choice. And you should be 18 or older and make that choice. But the little kids that don't have a choice whether or not to breathe that in. You know, secondhand smoke is a relatively new term in the last, what, like 20 years or something? 20, 30 years. Yeah, so it's like we didn't know that. Now we know it. So why not take forever? Yeah, there's no argument. You have no argument if you're like, what, I smoke in front of my kids in the car. There's no argument. Let me see if this hits you strangely. A friend of mine said that. Friend of mine said that she went on a date and the guy she was with in the first five minutes of their conversation started to tell her about the stuff that he has to do as a diabetic. Not my brother's diabetic. He's got to wear a little insulin thing, the whole deal. But it struck her as too personal of information. What? In the first five minutes. Too soon. Too much too soon. Too much too soon. He's a diabetic. Yeah. And I. I don't think that's TMI. No way. I don't think so. Diabetics have to watch what they eat. He's probably telling her because he can't eat something sugary or maybe that's why he didn't order a Cosmo.

1:49:15Maybe he didn't order a Cosmo because he's a man. Right when I said it, I was like, hopefully he wouldn't order a Cosmo. I'm diabetic, but it's okay. I've got plenty of insulin with me. I'm fine. I think I have enough insulin. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, but who cares? Bring me a Cosmo anyway. Do you have Gregus? Can you do Gregus? Can you sugar the rim, too? I just really want the rim sugar, please. But don't go crazy. Don't go crazy. Actually, can you splenda the rim? Can you splenda the rim? Don't go nuts, because, I mean, I'm not gay. You just gave someone an idea. Splendid the rim. I'm gonna get that. Do you guys have chilled martini glasses? Because if you do, I like them right out of the fridge. Oh, yeah. Right out of the fridge. I know that guy. I want that sucker so cold. So anyway, my diabetes. So my diabetes. What are you gonna get? You're gorgeous, by the way. You look fabulous. A lemon drop? I mean, there's a way that he could say it.

1:50:13And I could see being like, oh, wow, okay. Sienna, I know this is our first date, and I hope that this isn't coming on too strongly, but I'm devouring you with my eyes. Oh, are you? Yes. Your breasts are magnificent. You are not to come on too strongly, but you are totally my type. Really? You are so... My type of girl. I don't, you know, the more you talk, I don't really know if that I am. I'm so physically attracted to you. Are you? How's that Cosmo? As far as you know. I know. Is there anything that guys have said to you, or guys, is there anything girls have said to you on a first date that maybe it wasn't that, but it was just like, wow, that's a lot of information. You just want to throw that one out there, are you? Oh, hey, wow, you were in prison. Well, yeah. Could have waited on that one. Yeah. Maybe wait five minutes. I'm sure. Excuse me. Waitress? Is this View to a Kill by Duran Duran? Yes, it is. You're a waitress? Yes, I am. I know that this is a weird question, but can you tell them to turn it up? Tonight's 8 o'clock album, by the way, Fountains of Wayne.

1:52:11Self-titled album. What would you call that dance? If you had to name that, what you were just doing, what would you call it? Wow. The backwards chicken. I call it a donut dance, my friend. It's a kite in here. A kite is a kite. Where are these donuts from? Maybe you can call it and tell us. M1 Derek just dropped off a box of sinful donut holes. A trough. Oh, they're good. This is one of the, what you call fringe benefits of having a single blonde girl on the show. The top of the box says I heart. No, it says L-O-B, but the O is replaced with a heart. Yeah. Or French benefits, as Jay would call them. French benefits. Gross. That makes my mouth look. I was just waiting to get that light in. I was, man. I had to help sitting on that piece of gold. He just dropped off a... Maybe 10-pound box of donut holes that are so good. Half of it's gone. We've already had Krispy Kreme today, and now we're halfway through that box. Oh, my gosh. That was so good. I'm a human donut. Write that down. Hey, Derek, maybe you call us and tell us where you got those. Because they're good, and I want to let our listeners know where those came from, because those are good. It caused me to say something so crazy as...

1:53:24Let's get Burger King today. That never comes out of your mouth. Never, never. I would expect your Mandarin Chinese out of your mouth before I'd hear, let's get Burger King. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. I can't wait. Write that down. It's like her flinging her bra around the room. Get crazy! Oh, gosh. How about this, fellas? Sienna, what do we got going on in the news? Well, some scientists have done some more research over the Gulf water, and they have discovered toxic... organisms found on the bottom of the Gulf ocean floor. Yeah. Yep. Toxic, toxic. Lots of scientists did. But I'm sure that doesn't do anything to the Gulf shrimp that we're eating. No. Yeah, of course not. Also, some more sad news. A dead dolphin washed ashore in IB yesterday. Really? I know. People were just walking by on the beach yesterday morning and saw the dolphin. They thought it was like a tuna that was coming up in the water. Finally, it got up to the shore and it was a dolphin. Oh my gosh. I would cry. I would cry. I'm about to cry right now. How did it die? Probably a shark. They don't know. Yeah, no, it didn't say anything about any shark bites or anything like that, but just washed up. Sometimes it happens. I've seen a washed up whale before. Wow. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, I told you guys about Francisco Rodriguez plays for the Mets. He has now been put on the disqualified list by the Mets. He beat up his father-in-law and ripped a ligament in his thumb. He's out for the year. They've now put him on the disqualified list, which means...

1:54:52No more money. Guy gets no more paychecks. Oh, wow. Yeah, so he's really dug himself in the hole. And then also to add insult to injury, told you guys about Stephon Johnson, the kid that played at USC that crushed his throat in the weightlifting accident. He dislocated his ankle in his first preseason game ever. Now he's been waived by the Titans. Really? Yeah. That stinks. Yeah, he'll be back. Here's some ways to keep a woman happy. Keep your mouth shut. Make lots of money. Let's see L.O.B. Let's see Sienna and L.O.B. Let's see what you guys think of these. Don't argue with us. Put on what we tell you to put on. Wow. It's actually almost the first one. Really? Massage my feet. The first one is keep your nice clothes nice. Keep your nice clothes nice. Keep your nice clothes nice. It's true. Keep your nice clothes nice. I don't even tell a kid. Hang it up. Keep your nice clothes nice. As opposed to soil them. No, but some guys are really sloppy with their folding and, you know, like, hang it up. So don't wear a nice shirt that's wrinkled. Right. For me, it means painting into your good clothes. Like, I'll just walk home in my good clothes and I'll start painting. Kim's like, what are you doing with your good clothes? Yeah, you can't do that. You can't have a paint stain on your nice shirt. Have we ever seen Jay in good clothes? Yeah, I don't think so. Here's another one. I want to see it. This will keep a woman happy. I do this one. I didn't used to do this one. I do it now.

1:56:18Do the dishes. When I use dishes now, I try to, I try, I use the word try. The reason I have to say try is because my wife right now is going, yeah, but, yeah, but, yeah, but, because I know that there are times that I don't. When you say wash the dishes, you mean after you eat like a sandwich or spaghetti, you would just throw them in the sink? I would leave the knife, the butter knife that I use to put mayonnaise on a sandwich, I'd put it in the sink. In hopes of getting to it later or just that it would disappear? Knowing that she would do it. In hopes of getting it out of my sight. I didn't want to see it and I didn't want to take the time. Or I'll cook scrambled eggs and I'll put the pan and the spatula in the sink. The dishes is a big argument in my house. Yesterday I got in an argument. Todd's like, hey, you didn't rinse your dish. And I'm like, excuse me, guy? Are you going to tell me that? And then literally 15 minutes later, he has a dish and he leaves it. I'm like, hey, you didn't rinse your dish. And he's like, no. And I'm like, yes. Justification. You guys are seven. I know. Yeah. Dishes will get you. Every time.

1:57:26Are you real good about that? I'm good. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run our dishwasher. I've never, never once turned it on. I have no idea how to do it. Write that down. That's pretty good. But I will load it. Top 10 ways to keep her happy. Take her out to eat. Yep. We do like food. Yeah, except my wife. I'm not really sure what I just said. You can always take her to Plaza Donuts, Highlands, and 16th Street, National City. Is that what that was? That's where they came from. He's a firefighter. Oh, boy. He knows how to handle a hose. Oh, God. When you said that, Mikey's face just froze. He looked straight ahead, and he dropped his paper in front of him. It's like, how many times? 841 a.m. How many times can your heart handle it? This guy. Jane only talks a few times a show. All creepy. Oh, gosh. Ways to keep your woman happy. I love this list. Women don't always like to cuddle after lovemaking. Women don't? That's what it says. Men don't either. They don't always like to cuddle after lovemaking. Men fall right asleep, and women are, like, wide awake. Chances might be a cuddler. I'm not. I'm not a cuddler, yeah.

1:58:50Not a cuddler. You know, you would think that conventionally, you would think that I would be, right? Yeah, for sure. No, hot. Yeah, women don't know what it's like, too. Temperature, high. Alert, alert. Temperature, high. Yeah. Get, get, get. Like, just a fan. Another way to keep your woman happy. Flirt. With? Her. I was like, oh, I'm good to go. Flirt. Yeah, flirt. Like what? Flirt with her. How do you flirt with your wife? How are you doing? I'd be like, what do you want? Yeah, you know, get a little butt grab. That's cute. Butt grab is good. Little butt grab, little butt slap. Mike's thinking right now, I don't do the butt grab. Maybe you go home today and get a little butt slap. Just like a nice slap on the butt. Just go, I wonder what my wife would think if I go, like, give it a good slap.

1:59:45This is like the movie Along Came Polly when Philip Seymour Hoffman tells Ben Stiller to give her a little spank. It doesn't work. It goes wrong. It goes wrong. I think you need to try it. Do you flirt with your wife? Well, not that way. Not like that. I don't do that, but I don't know. Yeah, I feel like when women get all dressed up. Wow. Wow. That just did not come out the way I wanted it to. That just did not sound. I knew what you meant. I email her. I knew what you meant. You knew what I meant. You text your little sweet nothing. I text her. She's in my top five. You're my top five friends. You said my top five. Oh, I'm about to go into labor. I poker on Facebook. It's not, you know, whatever. It's flirting, I guess you could say. Oh, gosh. That's the way you said it. It wasn't even what you said. It was the way you said it. I took my sweater off because I got hot. That was great.

2:01:00I text her. I text her. I certainly do. Oh my gosh, I want to listen to that over and over again. Amazing. You should tell her that she's sexy. I do that. I do that. That's really important. See, that's the way I flirt. I tell Rebecca how pretty she is. I do that all the time. I do. And you do that. All the time. I do see you do that. Tell her thank you. Thank you, Mike. That was the best moment of the day. I text her. Promo clip. Yeah, 100%. I text her. She wrote it down already. Does Todd tell you thank you, Sienna? He better. Does he? Do you regularly hear him tell you thank you? Yeah, no, every time I bring him dinner and stuff like that, I bring it to him, put it in front of him, in front of the TV. He's like, oh, thanks, babe. Yeah. Woods. Yeah, all the time. You do? Yeah, man. I'm good about, in my bit, here's a dinner conversation at my house. Oh, babe, this looks so good. Thank you so much. Are you sure you like it? Do you like it? I love it. It's so good. It's amazing. Do you really like it, or are you just saying, no, babe, it's so good. I'm loving this. This is delicious. This is the best meal you've ever made. Do you really like it, though? Are you sure you're like it? Oh, my gosh. Seven nights a week. That's the dinner conversation at our house. I always ask, do you like it? Is it good?

2:02:23Yeah, you want to know? Seven times? Yes! Then we space it out and we're like, I don't know, it kind of tastes a little dry. Yeah. Is it too much onions? I'm like, it's the best meal I've ever had. Oh, I knew I shouldn't have had that jalapeno. You know what I heard a couple weeks ago from my shrink? What? She said that guys measure ourselves with our woman based on, you know, how well we have a job and we provide and all that stuff. And that in general, women... gauge their worth with their husbands based on how well they are affirmed by their husband. The cooking and how your house looks. Yes. And, oh yeah, all of that. And I, you know, which it's one of those things where as soon as she said it, I went, oh yeah, well that makes total sense. I just hadn't really, I guess, realized it or thought of it or whatever. And I was like, yeah. You know? Oh, if we get, like, a new picture or something decorative in the house and you notice and you like it, it's like, yes! Oh, yeah, man. Like, when we got our bedroom furniture, I never even saw it. She picked it out, you know, the whole thing. When we got it, I was like, oh, my God, this is awesome. That's the best. And she's like, are you sure you like it? Are you sure you like it? Are you sure you like it? I'm like, it's the greatest. All night. Every night since then, she's asked me if I like it. And I love it. This is really good stuff we're learning. Oh, yeah. Big time. Dudes.

2:03:42Pay attention to that. Or, like, because you know how we love candles, girls? Like, you know, and maybe I got a new candle yesterday and maybe I lit it in the house, which is a true story. And maybe Todd said, oh, that candle smells good. And I was like, yes! You know what stinks about this? It's a home run, man. I know. You know what stinks so bad about it is that as Sienna's saying that, I'm like, in my head I'm going, holy cow, like, I always, and this is a true statement, I always think it and sometimes don't say it, but I always. Without fail, we'll see, and you guys have seen what Rebecca does in the house. Your house is gorgeous. I'll see stuff and I'll go, oh, that's really cool. And I'll think it. Yeah. Say it. Say it, pal. And I mean, girls do the same thing too, you know. It won't hurt you. Yeah. Oh, wow. Whisper in her ear while she's doing the dishes. Never. No. I do not do that. I'd be like, ew. Do you come up to Jamie and go, I don't know. I don't like doing the dishes, period, so don't come up and creep in my ear while doing it. Wow. Creep in my ear? I would think that women would kind of feel that way. It's almost kind of a D move to do. Yeah. She's doing the dishes, and you're like, oh, how you doing? Yeah. She's like, hey, D, I'm washing the dishes. Dirty dishes. This is what that would look like in my house. Haiti. Mikey just leaned forward and slapped himself.

2:05:08Exactly. The water is running. It's all loud. Someone creeps up on you. I'll rub Kim's back because it's sore because she's leaning over. Rub her back and maybe nibble on her neck. Ew. I'm uncomfortable for all four of your children. Yeah. My skin was just like a caterpillar. I know. Right off my arm. As soon as he said nibble on her neck, I was like. It's the same thing I do to you, Mikey, when you're sitting there at the mic. I come up and rub your back for a minute. I picture Jay with like Jim Carrey face. Yeah. Nibbling. Nibbling. Maybe if her back's so sore, you do the dishes for her. Yeah. Oh, that looks could kill. Oh, my gosh. Jay just turned you out and looked at Lauren like, oh, no, you didn't. That looks could kill. Oh, that was awesome. Oh, my gosh. This is the greatest one. Sienna, has Todd ever done that? No. He'll walk by and slap my butt or something like, thanks, babe. See, the cooking whisperer is more appropriate. Like, hey, good looking what you got cooking. It's like.

2:06:12You know. Oh, boy, you've got an intense. I could do that. You've got an intense. Just don't rhyme when you say it. No. I could do that. I'm going to try that tonight. I could do that. Maybe not that particular line. I would say that. I'm just saying, yeah, like it smells delicious in here. Like that I would like when I'm cleaning. Yeah. I could. Yeah, that's better. Oh, man. I'd like to clear out when Jamie's cleaning. I don't even want to be around. Me either. Nobody wants anyone touching them when they're cleaning. I think I want to get roped into it. I don't like the sound of a vacuum. I don't either. Wow. The sound of a vacuum makes me really uncomfortable. It scares me. That's why I don't vacuum. It scares me. I'm like a cat when it comes to a vacuum. Like my dogs. They stand there and bark at it. This is such a lie, you guys. You just don't want to vacuum. No, no, no. I'm scared. Fair enough. Honestly, fair enough. It's going to suck me up. Fair enough. I have a real aversion. Maybe I was assaulted by one. I don't know. But I'm telling you that I... I don't like it either. There's something about the sound of a vacuum that is so... nails down a chalkboard to me. It's so creepy. My mom is obsessed with vacuuming, which she has passed on to my sister. We'd be like trying to watch like Three's Company or something like that. My mom come in in between. Slays you. I got one for you. What? Close your eyes. Okay. And instantly smell. Close your eyes. I love me. Can't close your eyes. Did you want to do it? No. Close your eyes. And I want you to imagine if you can the smell.

2:07:31when a vacuum is turned on. Yes. Done. It's there. That's it. Yeah. It's there. Just wanted to see if you guys can get it. You can get that though, right? Rubber and dust. Rubber, dust. Rubber, dust, and paper bag. And that stuff that we used to sprinkle on the floor and vacuum it up. Oh, mamacita, that smells good. Ew, I hate you. Instantly. It makes me nervous. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Imagining that smell of what a vacuum smells like when it turns on just made me nervous. You remember the old metal, like the big, heavy, like, hey, go get the vacuum for mom. You're like, trying to drag it out. It's like 400 pounds. The good ones are still like that. Did you have to, when you were a kid, amongst your chores. What's a chore? What vacuum did you have to carry out? Bring the maid a glass of water. She brought me a glass, okay? Did you guys have to vacuum, dust, that stuff? I did toilets. I did all bathrooms, except for my parents' bathroom. I did yard. And I did room. I was the laziest. You didn't have to do any of that? Oh, yeah.

2:08:40But I was lazy at it, like at dusting and vacuuming. And my mom was very critical. That surprises me because I was super meticulous. And you're kind of like a neat, orderly. I would imagine you being slovenly. This was, yeah, this was how I would dust. Mom! I wish they could see me just like so... Just defeated. Missing every spot. Defeated. Dragging your arms. I just want to play Nintendo. It's like my arms are paralyzed and my hand is sliding across the table. And my mom would literally come along and wipe her hand across things and go, it's not good. Nope. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did the yard work bit, man. When parents would wake you up on a Saturday and go, okay, we're doing leaves. And I lived in Connecticut. We lived in the woods. Five to six hours of raking. Did you rake them onto a sheet and then carry the sheet back? No, we were idiots. We raked them in a big pile and used our hands to put them in the bag and then picked them up. How else would you do it? We would lay out a flat sheet. We had this old Star Wars sheet. And you would put it in there and then like a hobo, take the four corners and then go back. We lived on two acres, so you go to the back, back part where we didn't use back in the woods and make a huge pile back in the woods.

2:09:57You guys had to rake up two acres? Yeah, but probably like half an acre, maybe even more. We weren't using it. It was just woods. That was our property. Yeah. Oh, man. Nothing worse than raking leaves. Well, I'll tell you the worst job that I had, one of my chores. We had a bag of socks, seven people in my family. So every time there was lost socks in the dryer, they'd go into the bag of socks. So like every Sunday I had to take the socks and try to make matches. And you'd have like those ones that were in there for like eight years, like the striped one with frills on it. We're like, we're never going to find a match to this. But my mom wouldn't let us give them away. It was the worst. Grass is always greener because as I listen to that, I'm like, man, I'd rather do that than dust. But it's a grass. Those socks were like the bane of my existence. Guess who has a sock bag now? This girl. You do? I have a sock bag. I would get in trouble as a child for skid marks. In trouble. Like I was five. You should. I'm five.

2:11:01Learn how to wipe, five-year-old. Hey, who's touching me? Skidmarks? No, now they have, like, two new nicknames. This is what I would hear. This is what I would hear from the garage. You ready? While mom was in the garage. Oh, no. Don't do it, Mike. Michael! No. Seriously. No, she didn't. Captain Callout. Yeah, Captain Callout. Well, his name was probably written on his underwear. Did I really have to just admit that? I know. Maybe get some baby wipes. Yeah, now they have... Hey, Mike, maybe I have a filter. I can't believe you just admitted that. They have little wipes now for kids that are around that age that sit on the back of the toilet. Okay, Sienna, you're making it worse for me. It's making it more embarrassing. Maybe you get some now. Hey, Mike, maybe you go get these little things that they make for you. Hey, Skidmark, what are we doing next? You know, maybe you guys try throwing some stuff out there. Oh, my gosh. That was the last thing I was expecting you to say when I was talking about sock bags. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm like, you guys, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Oh, boy. Oh, Skidmark. Oh, Skidmark. We don't need any Google images of that. Please. Five-year-old Mikey. Whoopsies. Yeah, we don't need any.

2:12:19Google Images. Well, we say nobody photoshopped Mikey. Photoshopped. Oh, my God. Nobody photoshopped Mikey. We mean it this time. Yeah, she's not photoshopped Mikey. Google Images. Nobody search on Google for skin marks. Gross. Is camouflage going away for the military? We'll explain. We'll go away. What about some Poe? Yeah, makes you want to make love real good. Doesn't it? Just said I want to kill you. Yeah. What doesn't make you want to make a sweet love? Write that down. I can't tell if it makes me want to do that or take a stapler to my head. It's one of the two. It's one of those two things. Maybe I like it. Maybe I can't. I do. Listen to that voice. I do. She's a minx. Do it with cornmeal, she said? Cormet taste. I heard cornmeal. With cornmeal taste. All right.

2:13:50There it is. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. That's Woodsy, that's Lauren, that's Sienna, and that's Jay. I've laughed a lot today, so stirring up the chest stuff. You want some Tums? No, no, no, the chest. You want some Tums? Okay. Maybe he doesn't know what the word chest is. You want some Tums? Tums is for the tum, isn't it? No, it's for the esophagus. No, it's a lung thing. Mine are bothering. I think it's allergies or something. It's the 87 donuts we ate. No, I keep coughing now that we are laughing so much. By the way, Jared is our graphic designer. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. Check him out. He did my business cards. He does the website. He does our stickers. Everything you see, our billboard, it's all Jared.

2:14:47Woodsy's using them. Yep. He's going to do our adoption pamphlet, man, which is a huge deal. Awesome. He's really good. Go to his website, createyourdesignonline.com. M1Able, are you there? Yes, I am. What was the word of the day? Stapler. Yep. You just heard me say the word of the day. It was stapler. You were caller number nine, and you got yourself some Wild Animal Park tickets. Congratulations. Thank you much. Hang on the line. That's M1ABLE. Good job. And M1, by the way, is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point. You don't cuss. That's the rules. Know the rules. And you're always making new M1s. You are a part of the M1 nation. And that's what you do. Camouflage. Military has always worn camouflage. We were at a Chipotle restaurant the other day having lunch. And...

2:15:46A couple of guys walked in and they were wearing blue camouflage. I noticed that too. And I said to Woods, I go, where would you find that in the natural environment? Besides like an iceberg. Would that be like navel? It did say navel on it. I saw their patch. The water. Maybe if you're in a raft in the water. Could be. Well, the Army this month began issuing some new uniforms printed with a camouflage pattern called multi-cam. Really? Now, the camouflage we're all thinking of is like the green and the brown, the yellow, right? Well, now this is more of a green one for Afghanistan, the mountains, the mountainous terrain. It's going to blend in better. So the first to get this new clothing is the 2nd Brigade 34th Infantry Division. And they're going to be getting it, yeah, this month. I want to see it. I want to see that. It says the multicam uniforms, as well as backpacks and other gear, are a patchwork of seven shades, including greens, tan, and brown, interspersed with dark brown splotches. Oh, also good for hunting in Yuma. Yes. I wonder who ever first came up with camo.

2:16:56I know. It's a great idea. It's a genius. This new one's also designed not only to blend with the environment, but also to reflect some surrounding colors, taking on an overall green appearance under a forest canopy and a tan look in the open desert. So, sounds a lot better. What if we could do what a chameleon does? We could stand against the wall and we'd look like a back poster. It would be awesome. That would be so bad. What if? It would be cool. Woods would be in the girls' locker room. Have you ever seen one in action? Jay and I. Just two I's? Yeah. Have you ever seen a chameleon in action? On that show, I just told you about the speed of life they showed them. It's so cool. It's really cool. So cool. They change colors. That's great. I love it. Oh, I know what we'll do. We'll do some MIDI madness. Call us right now. Yeah. 570-1949, the way that MIDI Madness works is you're going to hear some songs that sound like really, really bad synthesizer. And you have to try to tell us, what is that song? What am I hearing? It's not easy to do because they sound so different when they're played through a bad synthesizer. But they're very popular songs. Call us now, 570-1949. What do we have, Jay?

2:18:10We're going to give them a pay-per-view on Cox of Cop Out. Nice. All right. Call us right now and give it a shot. This is M1 Matt from Escondido. You there, Matt? Hey, Mikey. What's going on? Not too much, dude. How are you doing? Good, good. Just working. Love the show. Just heard you talking about chameleons. Wanted to let you know I got into them, and they do vary colors, but you put them in a red room, they're not going to turn red. Really? Yeah. You've got to check them out online. Google. Panther chameleons. They have some insane colors. Why can't they do red? Well, they do have red. I actually have two. I have one what's called a red body blue bar, and it's a red body with blue bars. That makes sense. And they vary. You know what I mean? Exactly, right? No, but they vary color a little bit. Like it goes from orangish and yellow to red. That's cool. Woods just pulled up a picture of it. It's awesome looking. It disappeared. All right, well, let's give this a shot. Let's play, Matt. You ready? Beautiful.

2:19:10All right, so I'm going to play you this song, and all I need is title or artist for you to win, and you get 30 seconds. Are you ready? I'm ready. Here we go. Screen day. You are correct. It was screen day. Love it. Well done. Very well done. Hang on the line, please. Matt is a winner. M1 Texas Red from Poway. How are you? I'm doing great. How you doing, Mikey? I'm good, man. You got 30 seconds to try to give me title or artist of this synthesized song to win. Here we go. Okay, I got it. What is it? That's Ramones. I want to be sedated. That is correct. Very nice. Very nice. Hang on the line, okay? It's not Ding Dong Sing Along, pal. He's having a good time. That's right. Love it. M1's Zack-O-Lantern from Ramona is on the line. How are you, bro? I'm good. You ready to give this a shot? All your breath is fun.

2:20:37Yes. I'm going to try. All right, here we go. Oh, it's the Colt. Yes, it is. Well done. Wow. That is awesome. Hang on the line, dude. Very well done. We got one more. Let's try one more. This is M1 Audie from Bay Park. You there, Audie? Yeah, I'm here. You ready to give it a shot? Okay, here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, that's Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne. Yep, that is correct. Yes, it is. Well done. That was tricky. It was. Hang on the line, please. Four for four today. Yeah, four for four. Very good. That was very good. Let's see. What do I got for you? Oh, I also have, I love this stuff. Sienna sent me a good one. There's a thing out there right now, don't know if you've heard about it, about Kanye and his mom. There's a video that got out.

2:22:16And the video has Kanye and his mother rapping together? Yeah, in case you don't know or remember, his mother passed away, Donda West, in 2007 due to complications during plastic surgery. Right. So this video just came out. Rare video footage. And, I mean, it's them rapping together. Don't know how old it is, though. We don't know. The clip is from 2003. Okay, we do. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Oh, you know the one I used to always try to get you to do, Kanye, and you never did it? What's that? I walked through the halls of the school, and it's cool to be known by many for my rapping ability, but what about the brothers who ain't got it like me? Making money off the trade, you can say it's new. They got it made. The drugs are on the rise, but it's not a big surprise to see something, something in the young brother's eyes. It says something on the streets, but the streets are kind of hard. Something, something, something if you want it. Something about reward, remember? I ran Harvard with what? Yeah, you said something. That's a good round right there. You did. I said, Kanye, keep on doing it. It's a million dollars. Remember everything you would do? I said, that's a million. Kanye, keep on doing that. It's a million dollars. A million dollars. Yeah.

2:23:27And we still ain't here, really. I like this. But you could, but that first line was really good, though. I walked through the halls of the school, and it's cool to be known by many for my rapping ability. But what about the brothers who ain't got it like me, making money off the trade? You can see I had it made. Drugs on the rise, and it's not a big surprise. You see no soul in your brother's eyes. God, you sound good when he just does that. That's good, man. Trying to hard by the streets, but the streets are kind of hard. But here's another fact that we can't disregard black on black. There's a stab in my back. It really hurts my soul when I hear about that. I don't know who is taping this, by the way. I know. It's in their living room. They're sitting at a table together in a living room. It looks like in her house. I had the worst, too. I love that rap. Well, you didn't think it was good. Now it's mad whack, huh? Nah, it's good. That shows you if you have a rap to actually. It makes me sad. It makes me sad, too, man. Me, yeah. I was just hanging out. Right? You were six. But imagine Mike sitting at your kitchen table with your mom. Your mom's like, so this is what you should do on the radio tomorrow. And you're like, oh, okay, mom. Oh, that was good. You have to write that down. Mikey's mom is like, remember when you were little and we used to sing, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's funny. Because my parents, every once in a while, they'll have an idea. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do. How about this one? This is a guy playing the piano. He has no...

2:24:52Arms no arms right woods. Yeah, he's armless and He's playing with his toes. Yeah, there's a little intro What is the intro He's a big Billy Joel and Elton John fan. But what he's going to do for you tonight is much more of a classical piece. Excellent. Really good. Really good. Thank you. Is that Mandarin? Yeah. Okay. Very well done. Thank you. I also like the New York Yankees.

2:25:51They had several Japanese and Asian players on their team. Hideki Matsui was a personal favorite. He did say that. But they traded him to the Angels. Quite an intro. Yeah, I like the piano. I'm showing his kindergarten graduation now. Good to see his biography as a superhero. Does he ever get to the playing? Right now is the Chinese China's sit down at the piano make yourself at home Take your time though get ready play it well very well You're very handsome

2:26:47It's nice to see you up on stage today. I really like that shirt. This day. She said this day. Thank you very much. I'm so happy to be here. It is so happy to be here. Think he'll ever play? Play that song. Maybe he plays. This guy's playing with his toes. Listen. You guys can't do that? Incredible. Oh my god. What else can you put up there after a guy with no arms plays with his toes? What are you going to do? Yeah, guy comes out. You got to follow that and juggle? So I think he's barefoot? Ironically enough, pair of Keds on. Oh my gosh. Listen to that, dude. Does he have a pedicure? They're actually not that gnarly. That's incredible. Incredible. Oh my god. How do you have the dexterity on your toes?

2:27:54I would get a leg cramp. Yes, exactly. How beautiful is that? It's beautiful, but... It's amazing. Because your toes have to work independently. Yes. Maybe he'd come play over here for us. And just like here in America, when they do America's Got Talent, they have the judges crying. Yep. Yeah. I would cry. Maybe that would get me too, though. I thought it was amazing that my brother could pinch with his toes. Yeah. What if he wasn't good? You know? Imagine that. How awful would that be? I was kind of expecting that. They'd be like. Oh, yeah. I was expecting like lean on me. Mary had a little lamb. Right. Not Chopin. Yeah, it's amazing. That's awesome. That is awesome. That was way better than I thought it was going to be. You know, it's okay that it took an hour and 45 minutes to get to. Don't let anybody tell you you can't do something. That's right. That's true. That's right. What do you think about this 78-year-old guy that rode a roller coaster 90 times in a day? I think it's brilliant. Yeah, that brought his lifetime total to 4,000 rides. Wow. Sky. Sky.

2:29:15was a member of the American Coaster Enthusiast. Who is it? Who is it? Just a 78-year-old guy. It's called Ace. Ace, Ace-y-y. The Ace-y-y. It's just Ace. The Ace team. This guy's name is Vic. He spent five hours on the Jackrabbit roller coaster at Kennywood Park in West Mifflin, Pennsylvania, I'm assuming. I want a fisheye lens on the front of that roller coaster filming him. 78 years old. The 90th ride. Mikey's demonstrating what it looks like. The Jackrabbit roller coaster has an 85-foot double dip drop. Wow. And he said this guy's been going on it since 1959. Wow. He usually rides it about 20 times each visit. 59 was 60 years ago. So he started riding that sucker when he was... 50 years ago. Is it? 51 years ago. So how old was he? He's 78 now. 27. How old was he in 59? He's younger. 27. Yeah. I'm not even going to try. But he was celebrating the 90th anniversary of this old wooden roller coaster. It's wooden.

2:30:26Yeah. Wow. Jay, what were those like? I was like, shut up. There's one at Belmont Park. Yeah, I was going to say, that one's wooden. What's it called? The Giant Dipper? Those things will break your back, man. There's one in Dallas called the Texas Giant. Yeah. And it's super fast. And you get off and you're like, oh, that was a great time. What do you think meetings are like with the American Coaster Enthusiasts? What are dues? What are dues? Six dollars a year. Six dollars a year. Hey, guys. We've been at a good rollercoaster recently. Yeah, good to see you guys. Do you think they meet on the coast and they're like, what? Yeah. Do you guys know that some eggs have been recalled here? I'll tell you why. That's all right. Stay in a minute. You're going to shave under your armpits? I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about trimming. The ladybick? No, no. That's what you do. No, no. With a... A pink Gillette. No, no. Clippers. Unless you have freakishly long underarm hair. If it bothers you, clip it. It doesn't bother me. That's pretty gnarly. Put it on the three and clip it. I've seen way worse. I think you're fine. You're a guy. You're supposed to have that. Some guys have the bushy, out of control. Yours isn't bad.

2:31:48Mine grows down my arms. That's repugnant. That's repugnant. Yeah, but guys, we're not supposed to shave our underarm pits, aren't we? No. Aren't we supposed to? I mean, women aren't supposed to. Oh, thank God. Yes, they are. No, they're not. Women are supposed to shave. In the United States of America. Yeah. In the United States of America, yes. I think guys don't shave there because there's no one hanging out there. My wife always sticks her face in my armpit. That is the strangest thing. I like it. Why not? She always goes. You like the armpit? Yeah, it's manly. Really? It smells very manly. Yeah, it's manly like B.O. though. No. Well. That's what it is. Depending on the guy. I like the deodorant smell. The essence of man. It seeps out through the armpit. Oh boy. Wow. That was a statement right there. It really was. Maybe write that down. The essence of a man seeps out into the armpit. Through the armpit. You guys know what I mean. I think I'm going to take a number three to it and see what happens. Number three is what I suggest. Okay. For the whole front. I'm going to try a shaver on number three. I don't have chest hair, though. I don't have chest hair, so I don't need it there. Every day. I do the whole thing.

2:32:59Don't do it, you guys. Think about shaving my legs. Oh, that's too hard. That's too far. That's too far. There's guys that shave their whole bodies. Oh, I have friends that do. Yeah, and hopefully they're professional swimmers, and that's why. Or weightlifters. Nope. Bodybuilders. Other than that, don't do it. Or Lance Armstrong. Yeah, I shaved my legs one time. Yeah, I did it one time. And not for biking, just because I was bored. What? Yeah, when I was little. Yeah, I was putting nylons on and I didn't want them. Oh, word. You guys are letting a lot slide right now. Yeah, what is this? Just blue sweat. What's wrong with the... Mikey's... Mikey's skid marks? Would you care to elaborate, Mikey? When he was little, his mom would get mad because he had skid marks in his underwear. Mikey felt the need to just bring that up. I don't, I'm still flabbergasted. I'm not. I am. I'm not. I'm not. I'm really not surprised, guys. But little boy hasn't had skid marks. Little girls do it, too. Girls! But they don't, you know, you have to be efficient, and when you're young, you don't really care. Kids don't know. They're just in and out. They only wipe because they're supposed to. Is that your nickname on the football team?

2:34:23Yes, Wes. So it's down in his jersey. Skidmark. Skidmark. Yes. No one photoshopped that. No one photoshopped that. Mikey is trying to smile right now, but inside his head he's like, you guys are awful human beings. That one minute he got in the game, everybody was like, Skidmark! Skidmark! Skidmark! Skidmark! Skidmark! Bumble! Skidmark really left his mark out there today, didn't he? Skidmark, way to leave it all in the field, pal. Maybe we should change your name to Butterfingers, Skidmark. Good job. You left it all out there today. That's the greatest. Rebecca, your wife, is home under the bed. Yeah. She's like, I don't know him. She's like, no one disturbed me today. I'm at home under the bed right now. Mentally. Woods just said he shaves his legs. No, I did one time. I love how that makes it masculine. Okay, you want to know the real story? Yes, the truth. You guys look at my leg hair. Not a lot, right? Not a hairy guy. I've always been like this. I thought hairy legs was cool when I was younger. All my buddies had hairy legs. I really didn't. So I heard if you shave it, it comes back thicker, blacker, the whole bit. So I shaved them and it didn't work.

2:35:50It didn't work. There you go. Did you wear pants as it grew in? No, panties. Okay. Easy skid mark. Don't push your luck, skid mark. Listen, this is the safe tree. No, it's not. The toy bird. Oh, my gosh. Did anyone notice your legs, Woods? No. Oh, hey, they're spiky. They were fairly hairless to begin with. I was also the last guy to get underarm hair. And, you know, what else? So I was like, I was obsessed about it. What? It's true. Mikey's just upset that we call you a skid mark. I was obsessed with being like having hair. And I didn't. It sucked. Now it's good. It's okay. Now you like it. Now I like not being hairy. I wish that I had consistent hair on my chest. You just get the random pluckers? I have the, you know, most, you know, inconsistent chest hair. That's a lot of guys, though. Random. Woods shows us his bare chest and belly once a day. At least once a day. This is twice, three times today. A little bit around the nips, and then right in the middle, just a tiny bit. I don't know why Woods wears shirts anymore. I'm surprised you don't come in here like Tarzan. Can I? That'd be rad. No. A sarong? So, Sienna, why have eggs been recalled? Okay, well, Skidmark, um... Oh, no. I know.

2:37:14Hey, open up this can of worms real good. I was trying to share. Are you upset? Are we hurting your feelings? Because I'll stop if I'm hurting your feelings. No, it doesn't hurt my feelings to be called skidmarked. By your team? Over. But you were five. And over. Everyone, I'm sure we all had skidmarks. We just don't remember if all the skidmarks added us for it. I want to die. Don't say that. Don't say that. Don't you say that. I'm sure you're a professional wiper now. Oh, gosh. Oh, that's worse. It's worse. She's making it worse. She is making it worse. She's making it worse. Mike, I'm sure you can clean yourself perfectly now. I'm sure Rebecca has zero complaints when she does laundry. You seem like a competent individual. Yeah, you know, I'm sure that she doesn't yell at you from the washroom anymore. You figured it out young. Because, you know, you're a filthy person. Not a filthy person. You smell better than the majority of men. Thank you. Thank you, Sienna. Thank you.

2:38:20You're very well groomed. Oh, thanks. Thank you. I can't make eye contact with anyone. What's that website, that grooming website he goes to? It's Mikey's. It's the first on his web. www.groominglounge.com. It's number one on his favorites list. I'm growing a beard that's just awful. It looks ridiculous. And I asked Mike, I go, Mike. mustache hairs are growing over my lip. I go, what do I do? He goes, dude, just go to groominglounge.com. You get these very tiny little scissors. I was like, okay. Yeah. Groominglounge.com has everything for your male needs. You should do endorsements for them. I now understand why you're so meticulous about grooming. Yeah, got called out by his mom. Michael! Had you ever said that on the air before? Yeah, I said it once. Maybe that's why you wear maroon man panties now. We're going to bring that up, too? We're going to bring that up, too? What? Mike, I'll explain real quick. Let's back off. Let's back it up. You're going to put me on the spit real good? Real good. Mike is on the flavor. Welcome to my world. Is it just Mike Roast today? Mikey, one day, decided to put on some dirty jeans out of the hamper. Didn't know there was a pair of old maroon.

2:39:38Boxer briefs inside the pants. I was at work. At work. At the old station. At the urinal. And as I'm standing there and I'm buttoning my pants, they fall out of the leg of my pants. That's insane. What do you do when dirty underwear falls out of your pants? I threw them away. Kick them. Kick them away. I wasn't going to put them in my pocket and leave with them. And imagine if somebody saw me throwing my underwear away. Oh my gosh. What kind of creepy thing went on in there? Skidmark. Okay, well the Wright County egg of galt Apparently, it's a big egg place in Iowa. Huge. They are voluntarily recalling some of the- Next to Mordor. Yeah. They're recalling some of the eggs out of concern that they are tainted with salmonella bacteria. Now, just so you know, the Wright County Egg of Galt is all of these brands. Uh-oh. Lucerne, Albertson, Mountain Dairy, Ralph's, Boomsmaz, Sunshine, Hillendale, Trafficanda. If we get any of these eggs- Yeah.

2:41:05Have been recalled. You have salmonella, basically, is what they're telling you. There's more. Farm Fresh, Shoreland, Lund, Dutch Farms, and Kemps. All of those eggs, I know it's a really long list, I'm sorry. Dutch Farms makes some good eggs, pal. Yeah, they have them from half dozen to 18 eggs, and they say that if you have any of those, just go return them to the grocery store and you'll get a full refund. Me and L.O.B. have a hard-boiled egg every morning. I was for a while, but not so much anymore. How do you have just one? You have to have a few. Not filling. Because they taste like feet. I love hard-boiled eggs. Love deviled eggs. I love eggs. I do too. See, I don't love hard-boiled eggs, but doctor says it's good. You should smush them up, put a little lemon on it and salt and pepper in like a cup. Oh, it's so good. That's weird. M1 Scott from San Diego. You there? Yeah, what's up? What's going on? Yeah, the same thing happened to me. Put on a pair of jeans and went to the doctor's office, my girlfriend and everything and her parents. Your girlfriend's underwear were in your pants? Oh my gosh. What did you say? What did you say?

2:42:29Walk me through the moment he said that and what you did next. That's cute. That's cute. I probably, if I were her dad, maybe wouldn't have thought it was as cute. No. Maybe he thought they were his. Whenever an angry man says that's cute, what he means is I'm asleep. Yeah, I'm going to slit your throat. You're about to die. You're going to die. Yeah. Don't touch my daughter. Oh, gross. This was Switchfoot live in our studios. When we come back, I'm going to ask you if you would buy clothes from a rock star I'm going to tell you about. He's got a new clothing line. I'll tell you who it is. Number one rock song in the country is One Republic Secrets. And tonight's 8 o'clock album is Fountains of Wayne and their self-titled CD. So who is coming out with their own clothing line, Sienna? A guy from Maroon 5. His name is Adam Levine. It's going to be for petite girls. Yeah. He's so small. He is pretty dainty and petite. It's called 2-2-2, his clothing line. 2-2. 2-2-2. It's three twos. Three twos.

2:44:14No dashes, so I'm assuming 222? I don't know. I don't get it. It's for your chest, your waist, and your hips. Or all two inches. All twos. Yes, he says that he's going to be collaborating and approving every single piece of clothing, but he wants it to be really simple, like jeans, t-shirts, and a leather jacket. Where would they sell it? It doesn't say. Boutiques in L.A. It's $500 for a t-shirt. Exactly. Oh my gosh, it probably would. It says he's going to be working with his father, Frederick, who already runs his own clothing boutique shops. Really? Yeah. We were talking earlier about how trailers are coming out for the new Joaquin Phoenix movie. Yeah. To me, it looks... Like a leprechaun to me. Brilliant. To me, it looks like a leprechaun to me. It looks really good. It's called I'm Still Here. Yeah. I think it looks awesome. It's a documentary where he, and you may remember, about a year ago, he was all over the news because he would go on Letterman with this big giant beard and he would do this weird bit where he wouldn't talk and he was non-responsive. Too cool. Yeah, and Letterman would go, what are you doing? What is this, a new character? What are you doing? And he would go, no, I don't know what you mean.

2:45:35What did Dave say to him? Thanks for kind of being here. Thanks for being here, kind of. Or something just brilliant. He just stared a hole through him. He didn't respond. Joaquin Phoenix didn't respond. And it turns out that this was a movie. That they were making a movie the whole time. And he was in character? He's in character, but he's playing himself. Listen, there's 100% certainty in my head that this is a bit. But it's like, but the bit is, is it real? Is it not real? That's the whole bit, I think. Well, here's what I gleaned from the situation. He had kind of lost it, man. He had been doing a lot of movies, and he was not, you know, his brother was the same way. I mean, they weren't really all about, like, they weren't the Kardashians. They weren't, you know, they were kind of. They wanted to do arty movies and, like, they wanted to do, you know. They weren't about the limelight. It was their craft. They were about their passion. It was their craft. Yeah. Well, so he did a couple huge blockbusters, and I think he spun out. And remember his bit was, hey, listen, I want to do music. But not only do I want to do music, I want to be a rapper. And, like, he started getting, finger quotes, serious about his rap. And his brother-in-law is Casey Affleck. Yeah. So Casey was like, I think Joaquin's gone off the deep end. I'm going to start following him around with a camera.

2:46:55And this is the documentary of that whole scene. I don't think it's a bit. I really don't. I think that he's lost his marble. I want to see it. We watched the trailer. It looks awesome. It does, but I think that it's too fantastic to be real. Well, he does that method acting, right? Where he submerses himself. For two years? He's acting like himself. I think that when he was in the public eye for two years, yeah. You know, because he knew he wasn't going to make any other movies. He was going to do this. This was his bit. I don't think it's a bit. I don't know. It's too out there. It's too out there. That's the whole thing. People are like, what's the deal with this? It just sucked us both in. We haven't seen Joaquin Phoenix. Now he's coming out with this movie. It comes out next month in September. The 10th is when it comes out. And it's called I'm Still Here. Casey Affleck. The trailer looks great. Music, the narration. How are they connected, Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix? Joaquin's sister married Casey Affleck.

2:47:52Oh. One of his sisters' rain or stream or tree or whatever. Rainbow. And Joaquin looks. I mean, he has this beard and his hair, and he just looks weird. Yeah, man. It shows him doing wraps up with P. Diddy. Where did you guys find the trailer? It's everywhere. Just Google it. I'll find it. What's the movie called? I'm Still Here. I'm Still Here. Just do Joaquin Phoenix trailer. I think it looks so good. I mean, it's definitely worth checking out. Because you got even the audio. Even the audio is good. The narration, whoever's doing that, is awesome. We're probably going to have to listen to a commercial first. But even the audio of this movie sounds great. He looks like a blues brother or something. Here it is. That's you. Drop some water. And you're on top of the mountain. A success. But one day you start sliding down the mountain and you think, wait a minute. I'm a mountaintop water drop. I don't belong to this valley, this river, this little dark ocean with all these drops of water. Then one day it gets hot and you slowly evaporate into air way up, higher than any mountaintop, all the way to the heavens. Then you understand that it was at your lowest, that you were closest to God. Life's a journey that goes round and round and the end is closest to the beginning. So if it's change you need, relish the journey. I got chills.

2:49:40Awesome. Looks good. The whole thing, what you're seeing, the visuals are documentary style footage of him in concert and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, it doesn't look like a bit to me. If it's a bit, he is officially the best actor ever. Well, he is a brilliant actor. He is brilliant, but that is... And to me, that's like a great idea. That's a brilliant idea to go, this would be my thing. let's do a deal where we dress you up and we make you wild and we say that you are becoming a rap star and we'll follow you around and we'll do a documentary, but you've got to stay in character. But wouldn't that not be a documentary? Yeah. It's like a mockumentary. A mockumentary. It's a mockumentary. Yeah, but I don't think that this will be released. That wouldn't be the concept. The concept wouldn't be, it would be a mockumentary, but it wouldn't be a comedy. It wouldn't be funny. It would be. Is this for real? Is this not for real? It's it's it's a it's a it's kind of like the same concept that they've done with Blair Witch Project or that they've even done. It's just not a horror movie. It's just in the documentary genre, which to me is a if it isn't a bit, then it'll be done.

2:50:56Because it's too brilliant of an idea to not do it. And it shows him in the trailer, like on stage performing. And I don't remember ever hearing about that. I do. I do. Really? Yeah. And I remember that when it was happening, people were like, gee, has Joaquin Phoenix gone off the deep end? Yeah. He was in New York doing this rap thing in this club and blah, blah, blah. And has he gone off? And I remember thinking when I first heard it, I thought, oh, that does sound like he's gone off the deep end. Yep. Then I saw the Letterman thing and I went, he's doing a bit. You know if he's not doing a bit then he's like really legally Insane and I don't think he is I don't think he is legally insane. I think he's brilliant and he's a great actor. He is such a good man. He really is What else do we miss? James Cameron Apparently says that there will be more avatars. Of course there will if you make 80 billion dollars You're gonna make another one or a few, you know, there's a lot of deals that need to be put in place, so It's really premature to say that's definitively happening, but I'd like for it to happen. Yeah, you'd like there to be two and three and four and five and six. Nerds rejoice. All in. Now, this is interesting. Do you guys know who Kat Von D is? Tattoo artist. She's a tattoo artist. Now, I'm going to play you a clip of her on the late night talk show, Lopez Tonight. All right, George Lopez's talk show.

2:52:21And as I play it, I want you, again, you're listening to Kat Von D. I want you to imagine that Kat Von D is not Kat Von D, but in fact, 13-year-old Bobby Wilson. So I'm on Twitter and I'm following you. It says before you get here, you went to voice lessons. Yeah, I've been kind of like just talking about it, but not really talking about it. But I've been taking voice lessons. If I were casting a 13-year-old boy. I would cast Kat Von D. Don't make fun of deep voices. No, it isn't. It's not deep. That's a dude's voice. It's a young... It's a guy that's going to become a man. But I'm all woman. I think she even says it. Really? Did you know I was Mexican? You're putting together a band. You're putting together a band? What kind of music, Kat? I mean, it's going to be in the rock genre to a certain degree, but pop as in popular, but not as in disposable music or anything like that. Right, exactly. Because your voice is captivating.

2:53:31If you like what Ralph Macchio sounds like. Yeah. I always thought I sounded like him. I don't think you sound like the karate kid. I think so. Maybe George Lopez gets voice glasses. Maybe he drinks a little tea and honey. Yeah. There is a little Ralph Macchio in there. Yeah. I just want to go home. 570-1949 is our number beginning and end of every show. Open phone so you can call us about anything you want to. And you can also know our text number is 949mikey at gmail.com in case you want to text us. So you can do that too. Hillary is in here. I was starting to get worried, Hill. You know what? I was actually in Garrett's office chatting. Garrett! Garrett! It's back from vacation. Yeah, and I looked at the clock and went, oh. Got to go to work. But when it's your boss that's making you late. That's right. You're allowed. It's okay. So I haven't even grabbed anything. So I'll run to the CD racks and get set up. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next.

2:54:40We will come back tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. We'll do it all over again. Mikey shows out late