The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/22/11
Monday, August 22, 2011
San Diego newsPadres baseballWest Memphis Threeradio comedydatingmarijuana legalizationfootball debateanimal hoardingmedical consentmikey showsan diegotrevor hoffman
Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, and Jay mixed major news with unusually vivid comedy, from Trevor Hoffman's emotional number retirement and the West Memphis Three's disputed release to an El Cajon police siege. Dale McDaniel's fish-and-chainsaw neighborhood terror, Lauren's secretly recorded commercial jingles, and Scott successfully asking Candace out on air supplied the show's strongest character-driven bits. Jay and Mikey seriously argued over whether legal marijuana would reduce cartel violence and raise tax revenue or instead increase access, impairment, and deaths, while Woodsy defended choosing Michael Irvin over Jerry Rice on game day. The strangest stories involved 697 hoarded cats, a disputed penile amputation, and a foul ball that sent a bloody eyeglass lens into a beer cup.
What happened, in order
El Cajon siege
Mikey reported that a gunman shot an El Cajon police officer in the neck, set the house on fire, and left police unsure whether he died inside or escaped.
Hoffman's number 51
Trevor Hoffman tearfully watched the Padres retire number 51 and told former teammates that lasting success came from caring about the clubhouse and taking no shortcuts.
West Memphis Three freed
Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jesse Miskelley left prison after 18 years under a plea that freed them while requiring an admission of guilt, which Baldwin called a failure of justice.
Neighbor with a fish
Florida neighbor Dale McDaniel, arrested more than 30 times, frightened residents with drunken threats, a chainsaw, and an assault in which he slapped a man with a fish.
Lauren's secret jingles
Jay secretly recorded Lauren O'Brien compulsively singing radio-ad jingles during every commercial break, especially the O'Reilly Auto Parts tune.
Morning Quarterback
Lauren beat Jay in a football quiz after he guessed that Philip Rivers wore number 51 and that John Madden coached the Patriots.
On-Air Ask Out
In the show's first On-Air Ask Out, Scott confidently invited his longtime UC Davis acquaintance Candace to dinner and she accepted a clearly one-on-one date.
Legal marijuana debate
Jay argued that legalizing, taxing, and regulating marijuana would weaken cartels and raise revenue, while Mikey warned that wider access would create more impaired users and preventable deaths.
Irvin over Rice
Woodsy chose Michael Irvin over Jerry Rice as the receiver he would want on game day, valuing Irvin's intensity and toughness even while admitting Rice was probably the greatest ever.
697-cat house
Steve and Penny Lefkowitz were found with 697 cats and one rooster, prompting 47 felony animal-cruelty counts and disbelief over how the hoard grew so large.
Unauthorized amputation
A Kentucky doctor faced trial after removing a patient's penis during a circumcision, claiming he found cancer while the patient insisted he had never authorized the amputation.
Lens in the beer
At a Padres game, a Jason Bartlett foul ball smashed a spectator's eye, ricocheted into Woodsy's shoulder, and knocked the man's bloody glasses lens into a woman's beer.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienJayTrevor HoffmanTony GwynnDave WinfieldRandy JonesSteve GarveyDamien EcholsJason BaldwinJesse MiskelleyEddie VedderJohnny Depp
35,962 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
If I'm discombobulated, the reason it's a good sign is because we got a lot. We got a lot of good stuff, which means you today, M1s, you'll be entertained. You will be very entertained. Is it weird the way that you say discombobulated? What is it? Or are you doing it as a bit? No, what's the actual deal? Discombobulated. Discombobulated. What did I say? Discombobulated. Yeah, I think I probably... Sounded weird to me. It's like when people say, uh... Well, irregardless. Oh, my God. How ridiculous. Yeah, Jay. It's regardless. It's ridiculous. What about when people say helium? Helium? Or male and female. Male. Male and female. Male and female. I like when Jay will say the way that he messes something up and he says it and looks at you like, see, said it right. See, I've got it. Helium. Helium. Helium balloon. Welcome to the program. My name is Mikey. I am the host of the show, and you can call us right now. 570-1949 is our number, and we would love to hear from you. You can also text 949mikey at gmail.com is how you do that. Word of the day, architecture. When you hear me say architecture, between now and 10 and you're calling 9, you'll get park hopper tickets to Legoland.
It's that simple. Mikey Morning Quarterback coming up at 7.30. It's a new game that we've started playing with football season in hand. Yes. I've forgotten. Yeah. It's where we ask L-O-B and J football questions, and you have to decide who do you think will know more about football. And let me tell you, it came down to a race. So they are very evenly matched, and we will do that again at 7.30. A lot of things going on. Retired Trevor Hoffman's number. The Chargers played some football yesterday. This huge story that was actually breaking news during the Charger game and scrolling across the bottom of the screen as the Charger game was going on. Just all kinds of stuff to talk about. And then you can call us too and chime in about whatever you think is important. or whatever you want to talk about, or if there was a Mikey show sighting over the weekend, like if you saw one of us out somewhere and you want to say hi, LOB is, well, let me introduce. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's looking sharp today in a pearl snap, buttoned down. He is 36 and our sports guy. LOB is 30 years of age.
and can now see without the aid of contacts or glasses. What do you know about that? And is currently wearing sunglasses because her eyes are very sensitive to light and they're beet red. But she can see. That's right. You can see, right? I can see. I'm measuring at 2015. What's up? Awesome. It's better than 2020. Jay is our producer. He is 48. And our phone screener is Chris. So, yeah, this El Cajon story that happened yesterday is apparently there was a guy with a gun in a house. He just starts shooting at two El Cajon police officers yesterday. He wounded one of them in the neck and then set fire to the house that he was in. And he may have died in the blaze. We're not sure yet. Initially, neighbors, police, they said that there were two other people inside of the house that were shot and killed. Happened about 5 o'clock yesterday. But then police later came out and said they hadn't confirmed it, that anyone other than the police officer was shot.
You know, it's one of those situations where it's so chaotic and it's so hectic. And it's also so important that details are not going to come out until they're etched in stone. They don't want to just start willy nilly saying, well, this is what happened. Only to have to recount it and correct it the next day. So anyway, if you know anything about it or if you lived around there, we'd love to talk to you. 570-1949. Hours later, police officers believed that this guy with the gun did not escape a tight police perimeter. But what I find interesting about that is that, you know, these cops, this lieutenant did say, we don't believe the man is on the loose. We don't believe he got out of the house, but we continue to search just to make sure because the house burnt.
Is dude on the run or is dude burnt up in the house? Which is very scandalous. I vote burnt up. He may be burnt up, but we don't know. Two officers were sent to investigate. They approached the house. Someone inside shot at them. One of the officers was wounded, like I said. His partner dragged him to safety. Didn't identify the officers. And police from... La Mesa, National City, San Diego, Chula Vista, the CHP, Sheriff's deputies, they all responded to this thing. Huge deal. So anyway, that was the biggest news going on yesterday here in San Diego. And like I said, if you were watching the football game, then you saw this because it scrolled across the screen. M1 Mama Nikki from Escondido. What's up? Good morning, guys. Good morning. It's the first day of school for my kids, and I'm finally up at 6 o'clock in the morning. Is it really? Let's play this song for your kids. Don't let the door hit you on the butt as you're on the way out. Now let me ask you, Nikki, are you excited that the kids are back to school and that you get your house back? I'm excited.
I am excited that they're back to school because they fight like crazy during the summertime. Right. But it's back to craziness running around feeling like I'm always in the car going from here to there also. Yeah. Well, there you go. There you go. Mama Nikki. I love you guys. We love you. We love you. Thank you for calling in. Okay. 570-1949 is the number if you want to give us a call this morning. And let's see. M1 Nubian Prince from Saramasa. Hello, Bree. Good morning. I'm a sheep being led to the slaughter right now. I'm a huge Cowboys fan. Yep, sorry. I'm not even a jersey right now, and I got these Chargers fans at my job about to talk a gang of smack to me today. Hey, listen, I think that the Cowboys are going to be fine, personally. I mean, first of all, it's preseason. You've got to remember that. Oh, I know, yeah. But second of all, the guy that coaches their defense, his last name is Ryan. And those guys are good. If your last name is Ryan and you coach in the NFL, you're usually pretty good. It's a true story. The only Achilles heel is that you have number nine back there at the helm. Yeah. Pretty much. I spent many a year in Dallas putting up with their garbage. Garbage. Garbage. I'm still putting up with it. I still love them, but I got to deal with it today. I can't wait. They TP'd my desk last year. Well, it's going to be worse. Oh, yeah, you're dead. Yeah.
All right, Nubian Prince, we love you, buddy. Love you guys, too. Take care. We'll see you. L.O.B. just sitting over there looking like she's about to get in the back of a chopper. Yeah. She's got those sunglasses on real good. She's in the back of a limo on her way to an STP concert with Scott Weiland. That's right. She does. Now that I started with him on, it's hard to take him off. Yeah, the light will hurt your eyes for a little bit. It's a little sensitive. All right, Woodsy, so. What do you got for me yesterday in the sports world? Oh, man, what a day in San Diego to be a San Diego sports fan. It was awesome. So five o'clock rolls around and it's the Chargers against the Cowboys. Hold on. Yes, sir. Reload me. Yep. Thanks, buddy. So, you know, you watch the preseason game. You see that first team trot out there, and you get those goosebumps. You see Phillip Rivers coming out. Now, listen, they went three and out. I was like, oh, boy, three and out already. But, man, they came back strong, and he played, you know, Phillip Rivers is Phillip Rivers, man. He was great. He was 8 of 11 for 92 yards. So they asked him after the game, you know, what did you think about the defense, too? Yeah, great interception by Weddle, and then Coop had a big hit for, you know, to get the fumble there.
It was all in all good. Obviously, it's hard without seeing the tape. There will be a lot of things we can clean up. But any time you're able to get the ball in the end zone or get points, two out of three drives, and then obviously Billy led the same group. The offensive line was still in there on a 13-play drive, and Ryan made a big run. So 17 points in the first half, certainly positive. I grew up a 49er fan, and there was nothing like watching the connection between Montana and Jerry Rice. If you have been a longtime NFL fan, there's nothing like watching Peyton Manning when he used to throw to Marvin Harrison. And I'm telling you, man, there is something badass exciting about watching Philip Rivers connect with Vijay. There's no question. It's badass. You know, you look at Vincent Jackson and you think about last year and you think, boy, Vince, what would it have been like to have your butt? on the sidelines and in the game every stinking game. The guy is a beast, man. He's a man among boys out there. So the other really encouraging thing was that Ryan Matthews played pretty well. He had this really explosive 15-yard touchdown run.
That was just awesome, man. Now, that did not happen in the first quarter because I had to go to bed. All I got to see was the first quarter. So that happened afterwards? Yeah, that happened afterwards, the second quarter. So he ran one in. They actually didn't think he made it in. North had two challenges that were successful in the first half, and we got them. So it was really, really, you know, it was a great game. They won 20-7. Hey, here's the other big deal that's going on, and we'll tell you more about the Trevor Hoffman thing in just a little bit. But the other big thing that's going on is that you may, in fact, be experiencing some junk when it comes to the grocery stores. Because the grocery store people, they got a union that represents 62,000 employees at Ralph's, Vaughn's, Albertsons. By the way, the last time a strike happened here in San Diego, it's 2003 to 2004, 141 day strike. $105 billion is what it cost those stores. And a lot of them never made up for it because people started going to the Sprouts and the Henry's and the Jimbo's. And they stayed there. They were like, hey, look, we're going to stay. We like it. So it's not good. But anyway, they all voted, yeah, we think we want to go on strike. So in about five or six days, it could happen. Here's the deal.
Under the current contract offer, the people that work for Vons, Ralphs, Albertsons, they'd be paying about $36 a month for individual health care. And they'd be paying about $92 a month for family health care. And they don't like it. And so that's where we are. And we'll see. They say about five or six days unless they reach an agreement between now and then. And by the way, both sides. Got screwed last time. It wasn't like the workers were like, see, grocery stores cost you guys billions of dollars. No, it actually cost them, too. Oh, man. In the end, cost the workers, too. And so nobody wants to see this happen. But you never know. Ladies and gentlemen, I direct your attention to, well, of course, of all places, the Padre bullpen. And number 51, Trevor Huffman. Chills. What was the year Saturday? Sunday. Yesterday. Ted Leitner on the call. 51. Sitting up there with all the other retired numbers. And he's just staring at it. How do you top all this? This is unbelievable. I mean, a guy's dream come true to have something like this bestowed upon one person. The times that we spent competing inside these lines is something that is sacred. And I took it serious every time we had a chance to come on this field.
But inside that clubhouse is just as sacred. And I appreciate the times that you shared with me and the love that you showed me and the emotions that we shared was very impressive. And I appreciate being a part of that. When I look up there and I see that number, I want you guys to remember that that guy cared about being a teammate and that he understood that to achieve true success, there's no shortcuts. Thank you. The place went nuts. Oh, man. So he's up there now with Tony Gwynn, with Dave Winfield, all the other Padres legends, Randy Jones. And it was just a really, really cool thing. Steve Garvey also. To see something like that, man, see him up there with his family, his wife, and he's just got tears streaming down his face, man. It was special. Very special. And congratulations to one of the best of all time. Oh, man. That's an incredible, cool thing, man. So cool. Let's see. Oh, the West Memphis Three. They got... released on Friday. The West Memphis Three. I mean, I didn't think it was going to happen. Documentary movies made about the West Memphis Three. It's these three kids, Damien Echols, Jesse Miskelley, and Jason Baldwin. They were accused and convicted of killing these eight-year-old kids back in 1993. Basically on...
circumstantial evidence, the fact that they listened to heavy metal music, Metallica, and the fact that they were, you know, very dark, wore black kind of thing. No physical evidence, that kind of deal, but they were able to get them on that. Anyway, this is Damien Echols talking at the press conference on Friday. Still very much in shock, still overwhelmed. You know, you kind of have to take into consideration that I've spent almost the past decade and... Absolute solitary confinement, so I'm not used to being around anyone, much less this many people. It's kind of overwhelming. Holy cow. This is Jason Baldwin talking. This was not justice, you know. In the beginning, we told nothing but the truth that we were innocent, and they sent us to prison for the rest of our lives for it. And then we had to come here, and the only thing that the state would do for us was to say, hey, we'll let you go, only if you admit guilt. And that's not justice no matter how you look at it. They're not out there trying to find who really murdered those boys. Somebody posted on my Facebook something to the effect of, well, I would never admit that I killed somebody. And I thought, you know what? After 18 years in jail, I'd admit almost anything if they said they were going to let me out. You know what I'm saying? I mean, 18 years, 10 of those years for one of them in solitary confinement, they come to me and they say, hey, did...
Were you responsible for this? Yeah, yeah, I was. You're going to let me out. I just want to get out of here. It's hard to say unless you're in that position. How many of us will be in that position? Real easy to say sitting on the Barca lounger drinking ice cold Coors Light. By the way, Eddie Vedder was there. Sure was. A lot of big time celebrities were behind these guys. Eddie Vedder, Johnny Depp, members of the Dixie Chicks. Very high profile deal. That dude, the first guy that you heard talk, Damien Echols, he's married to one of the women that watched the documentary and started to communicate with him. She's cute, too. Yeah. They always are. They always are, it seems like. You know? I think that guy's having a good couple days, real good. Yeah, I wonder if he had conjugal visits while he was in there. I doubt it. If he's in solitary. Yeah. I highly doubt it. Right? They're able to consummate the marriage. For the first time. Guy's having conjugal visits real good right now. That's right. So anyway, well, there's no more conjugal visits. He's just having visits. He's just having visits. Visiting real good. But anyway, the West Memphis Three are out, and that was real big news. 570-1949 is the phone number. I had a great weekend, took some family photos, which was a disaster, you know. Well, you were in them? Yes. Hence the disaster.
It was tough, wasn't it? Tough to get through that. But what are you going to do? I mean, that's Jay. Last year's were great. Because Michael was not in those. Was not in those. Rebecca. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this year we went and took the photos. And, you know, Ryan, my son, who's a twin. Luke and Ryan are twins, two years old. Ryan cried during the... Photo session. Just for part of it or? Mathematically, I'd say a third of it. Oh, that's good. Progress, you know, progress. I talked to Mikey and I talked to Mikey after and I was just checking in and he goes, yeah, yeah, we had a great day. He goes, oh, guess what? Because I'm never going to believe this. Ryan cried. I just peed my pants. I was laughing so hard. I saw a comment from the photographer himself.
Who said he definitely needed a nap when he got home. Yeah. I don't blame him. The guy's got the patience of an angel. Yes. As far as this is what? Where are you out? Well, when you say as far as this, I mean. Luke, Ryan, Jake. Where are you out? Mike. The babies. No, I was a good boy. I was a good boy. But I was probably as miserable as they were because it's not. A photo thing like that for families, I don't think anybody loves it. It's just something that you've got to do, and the pictures are going to be beautiful, but you don't love it. The wives love it. They love it. Yeah. They love it. But she was miserable while we were. She was? All it is is wrangling, man. It's trying to herd cats. Only harder. You know, every time we sat Luke in a chair, as soon as you take your hands off of him, he's up. And then you put him back, and he's up. And you put him back, and he's up. So you're trying to take a picture within a split second. And it's not like he's smiling. Sometimes, but sometimes he just wants up. Oh, man, it was just something else. Three boys under the age of five. It can't be easy. Maybe better served to just hold him and then Photoshop the hands out later. Yeah. Dude, not a bad idea. Seriously. Not a bad idea at all. Maybe shackles.
Maybe shackles. Superglue. Superglue. Yep. 570-194-9 is our number. I have a theory about Woods and I and how we differ with music and how we differ with films. He wants me to like music that I want to like. I want him to like films that he doesn't want to like and he doesn't care to like and doesn't even try. It's true. But I think I figured it out. I doubt it, but I'll entertain you. Okay. And the reason that I tell you this is because you may find yourself in the same position with music or films. Now, the films that I like, well, not exclusively, but one of the types of films that I like are foreign films with subtitles. Woods likes music that doesn't necessarily fall into the popular category, but is genius. in its musical integrity. And he enjoys those bands. Why are you laughing? What? Why? Talk to me. It makes me laugh because I know who you're talking about. We had a long Friday debate after the show when most people at 10 o'clock after they've been up since 3.30, they part their separate ways and they go. Mike and I had about an hour long debate on one of my heroes, Ryan Adams. He sang
He's saying everything I do, I do it for you. Don't do it. It's a cheap bit. It's a J-joke. Okay, you're better than that. Hey, I'm right here. You're better than that. Anyway, I don't think it was a debate. It was a debate. I felt like it was a conversation. It was a massive debate. You were both laughing at the end and ignoring me. Right. I think it was more like a conversation. See, to me, a debate's a disagreement. I was trying to hear you explain to me, and I was... You bought in on a couple. Yeah. You bought in on a couple. But I figured it out, and I'll tell you what I think the deal is. I can't wait. I'll tell you what I think the deal is. I can't wait. Okay. To hear this theory of Michael R. Esparza. You've already made your mind up. No, I promise you I haven't. I'll be open-minded for once. All right. Will I? I don't think you will, but we'll see. Let's see. This is maybe... The worst neighbor of all time. When we come back, I'm going to tell you about maybe the worst neighbor of all time. Drunk guy gets after people with a fish. With fish. And let me tell you about this guy as well. Tell me that he is not identical Carl from Sling Blade. Identical Carl from Sling Blade. Fresh fried potatoes. Real guy, too.
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PlayStation 3, now only $249. This report brought to you by Allstate. This Labor Day holiday, it means more traffic, more accidents. So before you hit the road, put yourself in good hands. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. 76 in both directions between Grade Road and Harold's Road. Serious accident. It was a fatality and the cruiser still on the scene. Probably not going to clear till about 8 a.m. Also, some backup here on the 5 northbound between Genesee Avenue and the 56, as well as Chula Vista on the 5 between Palomar and the 905. This report also brought to you by Allstate. Brought to you by Exxon Mobil. At Exxon and Mobil, their smart gas works at the molecular level. Helps you remove deposits so your car will run cleaner. Just one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Don't lie to me, do you lie to girls, okay?
You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Worst neighbor ever. And we'll take like your worst neighbor stories or something. I like the way you talk, Mike. Wait, dude. Wait till you hear this guy, Woods. You're going to go, oh my gosh, identical Carl. So Woods likes all kinds of music and a lot of music he and I agree on. but a lot of music we do not agree on. Then, same bit with movies, and you may be like this with your friends. You agree on a ton of it, but you disagree on a ton of it. Now, the difference is, I've given Wood's music a try. He will not give my movies a try. I have, in fact, given your movies a try. By giving it a try, what you mean is that you watched approximately five and a half minutes of a film.
That is considered a try. Okay. Now, I took one of the records that you gave me. I made you a mix. And I listened for 30 minutes. Okay. So however many songs were in 30 minutes. It wasn't my cup of tea, but I don't say that it's bad. Right. I don't say that it's bad. It just wasn't my cup of tea. Now, I think I've realized. What it is. And you can apply this to you as you're driving because you've got a friend that you can't get him to watch what you want. You can't get him to listen to what you want to expose them to. Right. I like foreign films. Woods has a preconceived notion about foreign films. And it's this. Oh, I'm so artsy. Oh, I'm so smart. Oh, I'm in a cafe. I have the same notion. about a lot of Woods' music. It's true. Totally. I think I figured it out. Okay. I asked Woods, how did you hear about this band? And Woods says, dude, I read about them, and I was like, whatever, you know, blah, blah, blah. He goes, and then I got curious, and I got it. Well, I asked my brother, who is the guy that introduces me at all the cool movies, how did you find out about that movie? He goes, I read about it in Newsweek, or I read about it in this.
And it was talked about as being real good. Now, what Woods has, because I watched over the weekend, I watched what Rolling Stone says is one of the best films ever made. It's what Rolling Stone said about it, not me. Woods calls it Das Get. The actual name of the movie is Das Boot. Does that mean The Boot? No, it means The Boat. Not just a terrific adrenaline rush, a descent into the pit of hell, Variety Magazine. I watched the Blu-ray of it this weekend with my jaw dropped open, and I've seen it before. Sounds like Crimson Tide, pal. It might sound like Crimson Tide, but it sure ain't like Crimson Tide. And I've seen Crimson Tide. Listen, part of me just likes to get you, and you know that. Part of me just likes to make you...
make you insane when it comes to this stuff. Well, yes, minus the part of. Because that movie, you and I watched the trailer to that and I go, it looks pretty good. And then I go, I liked it better when it was called Crimson Tide. That's a bit that we do, you know. And listen, a bunch of Germans running around in a submarine. I could probably be in on that if I didn't have to go and stare at the screen. And read. And read, please. Now let me ask you a question. Okay. You never saw, or you started watching Passion of Christ but didn't like it because of the blood? Yeah, it was pretty gory. Okay. And a lot more, but I felt a lot of guilt when I watched it. A lot of guilt. Okay, because you have to read in that. Because the language is Aramaic. Right. So you had to read in that. Kid felt very guilty about some of his past actions. Watching our Lord and Savior take it to the cross. Take it to the cross. All you could think about was all those girls back there.
When you were at a school called Holy Cross. Yeah, all the girls, all the everything. Yeah. Okay, just in excess. Yes. All right? A little bit of booze, a little bit of Coke. There was some things that made you... There's no dudes. There's no dudes. That was at the mashed potato. Yeah. Okay, wait. He actually did the mashed potato. Wait, wait, wait, wait. To be clear. Yeah. You remember that? Woods did, in fact, work at a gay nightclub called the Mashed Potato Club. Yes. But he didn't hook up with guys. Wow. It wasn't a gay nightclub. I'm sorry. Like a gay bathhouse. Yeah. Yes. Wait. It was a gay sauna parlor. A gay singles bar. Gays only. No, wait. I'm sorry. It was a gay opera club. Yes. It was not a gay nightclub. It was a restaurant. It was a restaurant. I worked the bar and made a lot of tips. By restaurant, he means it was a gay strip club. Yeah. I was in a real weird place back then, okay? Do you remember that, though? Yeah, I do. Of course I remember. Remember when you worked there? Yes, I remember. Working for tips? That's right. Just tips. Shut up. Shut up.
All right. I'm over-moisturized right now. WSTP Tampa Bay. Guy that drinks all the time and terrorizes neighbors with fish and other stuff. Take a listen to this. I fear for my life sometimes, you know. Ask any neighbor and you'll hear similar stories. I'm just glad that I don't have children. About the one man making life miserable in this neighborhood. He's a scary person. especially when he gets violent. They're talking about Dale McDaniel, a 52-year-old Florida native who's been arrested time after time over 30 arrests in Pasco County alone. 30 arrests? How can you get arrested 30 times and they don't throw you in the clink? Misdemeanors, man. You can get as many of those as you want. You do for your four or five days and pay your fine and you do your community service, you're done. Take it from the kid. See, I thought if they accumulate, they'd throw you in the clink. With every four-letter word that you've never heard of, I mean, he doesn't mind yelling it to the neighborhood. Neighbors say he not only drinks a lot, they have to watch as he relieves himself, too. He peed right here against his own house. With a TV, garbage, even dead fish, you can see what Dale's front yard looks like. But neighbors say that's the least of their concerns.
I have seen him run down the street chasing a guy over here with a chainsaw, running. Holy cow. He lifted a chainsaw last week at me, you know. Only in the South, man. This is in Tampa. I can't take it anymore. Some neighbors are so concerned over McDaniel's history of violence, they've filed restraining orders. He has physically put his hands around my throat in the past. I'm scared of him. We found McDaniel having a beer in the front yard. Get ready. You're about to hear identical sling blades. and confronted him about his neighbor's long list of complaints. They've had problems with me for years, and I ain't worried about it. Some of the neighbors say they're afraid of you. That's a good thing. He admits he's a heavy drinker. I drink from the time I get done drinking my last cup of coffee, I'll drink until I go to sleep. Then when I get up in the morning, if I want another drink, I'll turn around and drink another beer. He even showed off his chainsaw.
As far as the violence goes, he says he's not out to start any fights, but... If somebody comes looking for a problem, they're going to get one. They're going to get one. Even this neighbor, confined to a wheelchair... They're going to get mustard and biscuits. ...admits he was assaulted in his own driveway, slapped in the face with a fish. Whenever he wants to hit somebody, he takes a fish. Some folks call it a Kaiser blade, I call it a Sling blade. I sure do like the way you talk. Dude, that guy. Identical. Identical. Identical. Who hits people with fish? That guy. Hold on a second. Hey, Eddie's sister, who I was dating in high school, she slapped me in the face of the trout. What? It's a true story. Did it just smell like a trout? No, dude. We were camping, and the fish string, you know? The line? Yeah. The hoof? Thought it would be funny. She thought it would be funny. Yeah. Wow. Hurt. Yeah, it hurts. It's a trout, bro. It's a trout. It's a trout. Some people call her a caser blade. I call her a sling blade. Somebody needs to go over and take care of business with that guy. Yeah. Gets his butt kicked one time. Like some hard ass needs to walk around and be like, all right, let's roll right now. Let's do this. And just beat the crap out of the guy and then things will slow down. Yeah.
I wonder if it's that or if he would just be like, bring it on. I don't care. You know what? Next time you come, I'm going to get you with a shotgun. That's the thing. You never worry about retaliation from that clown. How's he not in jail? I don't get it. Worst neighbors. Call us. 570-1949. Top that, dude. Did you finish your theory? Is your theory about our music done? Yeah, the theory about the music. Basically, Woods was that it has to do with... You read about a great band and you try them out. And it's the same bit with these movies. They're talked about by highly recommended people that know what's up. And they're not highly recommended because they're just foofy. They're highly recommended because they're actually pretty badass. Dude, that movie that I'm talking about, Das Boot, is I need to let people know it is filthy. It is gritty. It is dirty. It's, you know, but it's also got one of the most incredible stories and is freaking makes you hold your breath. I mean, there are times where, you know, I don't want to give too much away, but there are times where this submarine is underwater under and they filmed it in a real sub because they wanted it to feel like you're claustrophobic.
And there are times where this submarine is being hit by depth charges and you find yourself going because you feel like you can't breathe, like you're claustrophobic and they're running out of oxygen in the thing. So of all the movies that you've tried to force on me. This is a top five movie of all time for me. What is the number one movie that you'd like to force upon me? I can't answer that in two seconds. I'd have to think because I want to be sure that you don't go stupid. I need to be sure of that. If I see it. If you see it, that you don't go out. Here's another problem. When we've decided, because I'll do it. I'll watch Das Boot. I've got to watch it by myself. How come? Because I don't. I'll be Bryant Gumbel. What?
You've told Mike that you have to watch this film by yourself. Why? Because I don't need Mike in my ear telling me about watch this part. Oh, this is a great part. I just need to experience it for myself. Oh, Woods. I'm not that guy. I am not talker. Well, the only movie that we've seen together is Lord of the Rings. And we watched part of the Dog Killer movie. What's it called? Yeah, which means kill dogs. No, it doesn't. It means he loves a bitch. He is a good friend and a lover. Can I ask a question? I'm going to ask all listeners to try this movie out and tell me what you think of it. Even chicks. Women. I won't talk. Promise? Yes. Okay, I'll watch Das get with you. And you'll go see Ryan Adams with me. He's my favorite Canadian singer ever. It's over. Never mind. I'm not watching it. I'm just kidding. Worst Neighbors, 5701949. Can anybody beat that guy? No. I don't think so. I've had some bad ones, but I had two gay men that liked to...
blast techno at 3 o'clock in the morning as loud as they could. And make love. And make love. Was that when you worked at the Mashed Potato? No, that was not when I worked. That's when I lived up there in Hillcrest. In defense to L.O.B., it's an easy mistake to make. Well, for sure. Assumption. You worked at an all-gay bathhouse. It wasn't all-gay. Steam club or whatever. Sauna, bar. It was an all-gay Roman shower club. It was like the days. of Caesar. Yeah, I used to feed grapes to everybody. That was my job. Walk around with big bushels of grapes. Now, that we didn't know. This is the first time we're finding out, this is a revelation, that what he did was feed men that had gold feathers around their head. Leaves. He would feed them grapes. Did you have like a Caesar haircut? Yeah, a Caesar haircut. I wore a white robe and I just had bushels of grapes. And I'd walk around and they'd be in the middle of orgying. And I would just give them. And you would go, hey. I'm glad you're opening up about this. Welcome to Corinth. My name is Woods. Corinth. Can I get you any more grapes or cheese? I will be your personal Adonis. I'll be your personal Adonis. Now I'm fine. I'll take a Cosmo though. I can do that too. All right. I'll get you.
We have 40 different flavors of martinis there. Weird. Hi, Raul. Welcome back. Would you like an A-class room or a C-class room? Which is available today? The A-class or the C-class? They're both available. Then I will take the C. Okay. Of course he will. Cheapskate. Cheapskate. Five, seven. 17 different olives on the part of our martini bar. Do you like Kalamata or just go with a black? Do you have pimento or non-pimento? Do you have stuffed or non-stuffed? I actually did used to stuff olives with blue cheese at the mashed potato thing. That is not code for anything. It is. It's not code. The old stuff the olive tree. Gavin DeGraw was attacked in New York City, and here he is talking about how he's doing since he attacked. I'm sorry? Was that Jay on the street with the mic? Nah, I didn't test that one out first.
It's now time, ladies and gentlemen. Say it. Say it. To ask Woods about playing in his pay-for-play. Semi-professional. His adult little league league. It's not little league. Yep. It's a little league for adults. We're grown men. Are you? Aren't we? Are you? So you got your first game back yesterday after breaking your ankle on ABC's Wipeout. Yes. Allegedly. It was on the fake disabled list. Yes. And you made your return yesterday. How did you do? Not great. Weird. Not great. Not bad, not great. How did you do? I was 0 for 2 with two walks. So I was on base twice, struck out once, and popped out. Were you on base from a walk because you had four walks and they put you on base? Two walks. Four balls. Like the match. Also, Sienna's husband, Todd R. Farrar. Yes.
He played as well. Todd did play with us. Was it fun to play with him? It was awesome to play with him. It was good to see him back on the diamond after 20 years. And, you know, he had some growing pains yesterday, but he'll get there. Guy looks like a ball player. He's an athlete. How was it back in the clubhouse? In the clubhouse, it was great. It was good to see everybody again. What is the clubhouse? The dugout. It's the dugout. Yeah, that's our clubhouse. What stadium do you play at? Yesterday's stadium was West Hills High School. Very nice. That's your home field? It's one of them. One of them. You have more than one home field? Yeah, yeah. We're like a traveling team. We travel semi-pro. Well, when you travel, yeah, but then where's your home field? Yeah, what's the home field? Wherever they tell us that it's going to be that weekend. So you don't have a home field. Well, some days we show up and we're not the home team. We're the visiting team. Where do you park the bus? We didn't take a bus. I took my Suburban. We all meet there. What's your per diem rate? Per diem, well... Meaning, what does the team give you to spend while you're out on an away game on the road? Well, we're a local semi-pro team, so it's the Premier Baseball League. You should check it out. If you're not playing at home? Well, we always play at home since we play all of our games in San Diego. So we don't do road trips. But you said that sometimes you're the visiting team. Yes. When you're the visiting team. Right.
What hotel do you stay at? We don't stay at hotels. We usually meet day of the game. The coach, he gives you guys some sort of pep talk? Yeah. Actually, we did get in a circle yesterday and do our crows on three, crows on three, one, two, three, crows. With the coach? Yes, with the coach. He's all player coach. How many children asked you for an autograph? None yesterday. How many children... Have ever asked you for an autograph? At a baseball game? That you've participated in. One. All right. Can I purchase season tickets? You don't need season tickets. You can come out to any game. How much does it cost? It's on the house. Meaning? You're paying for it? If so, facto, yes, I'm paying for it. Meaning it's free? Yeah, meaning that you can come to any game you like. I'll put you on the list. Mike, you're on the list too. Jay, you're not. Thank goodness. Did you know that Mike, the situation from Jersey Shore, has been offered money by a company to not wear their clothing? And I will tell you what that company is and what his response to it was.
And we will also play Name That Tune. So call us right now. 570-1949. And will we be able to use these lights for the first time ever? So we will really know who has buzzed in. Call us right now. Pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. Mikey Show coming up in minutes. That was a half an inch away from being the greatest thing I've ever seen. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. Does anyone want to explain why the cab driver's in the backseat? Or shoot him a text? 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. Got to tell you about AT&T and what they're doing for you. They got all you need as far as speed of the internet. Everybody wants speed of the internet. There is nothing worse than trying to download something that's taking forever. So, how would you like to be a part of their... National Wi-Fi network that has 24,000 hotspots all over the place. You can call 877-only-ATT or go online, att.com slash possible. Or you can go into one of their stores and say, hey, I heard Mikey talking about this really incredible deal for $14.95 a month that will give me a one-year term with you guys. Can you tell me more about that? That's a locked-in price guarantee, and it's a decent price.
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Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. What company was going to pay Mike the situation to not wear their stuff? Wanted them, so you're getting them. Triple, double Oreos have hit the shelves. Mikey. A layer of traditional Oreo filling, another cookie, then a layer of chocolate filling, and finally, one more cookie. It's like a club sandwich. It's Oreos. And... Sorry, Jay, but I prefer just regular Oreo cookie. I don't like that double stuff. It makes it feel like there's Crisco on the roof of my mouth. Each cookie has 150 calories. Of one of these? One of those.
Each cookie. No, but I only have four of those. It says each one will run you a very high 100 calories. Oh, 100. Oh. Still a ton, dude. Still a ton. That's like drinking a Coke. Because a Coke has 100 calories. Every one of those Oreos you eat is like drinking a Coke. Wow. So if you go, you're like, yeah, I want four or five cookies. A Coke has? It's like downing five Cokes. Coke has 100 calories? 100 calories. Oh, my God. I don't know. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, also, how about the, I love dumb criminals. Dumb criminal stories make me laugh. Some guy went into Alan Ed's in Escondido and tried to steal a Volkswagen Beetle. Didn't have a windshield, though, and the steering wheel came off during his attempted robbery. So didn't take long for officers to find him. Alex Yosek of Escondido. He's 35. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, in a second, man, I got to tell you about the Padres' new winning streak. But first, sports is brought to us by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Well, it's now four in a row, people. It's four in a row. The Padres swept the Marlins. Listen, Woods, two more, and you have to shave a fryer's cut into your head. Yeah, I have two words for you, my friend. What?
Go Giants, because the Giants, yeah, I mean, I can't do it. And that's going to be tough. That's going to be tough, the Giants. I can't do it. Yeah, I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. Tuesday, it's going to be Matt Latos against Matt Cain. And, yeah, Poundaries have won four in a row. If they win two more games, six in a row, if they win two more in a row, Woods has to shave a fryer's cut into his head. Yeah, and see what sucks. Sports guy in San Diego having to root for the Giants. Because he doesn't want to cut. I have to. I have to. You don't have to. He has very long hair. You need a haircut. He's shaking it about. Yeah. And it's taken him a long time to grow it to this length. As if it's supposed to make me feel bad for him. Let's feast on it. Go Giants. Don't forget. Word of the day is architecture if I say it between now and 10. Could even say it during commercial breaks. In your call or nine you get a pair of tickets to Park Hopper tickets. For Legoland. Also, Mikey Morning Quarterback coming up at 7.30. Yes. And the situation. Oh! The situation. Apparently, he's been offered by Abercrombie and Fitch to stop wearing their clothes. Oh my gosh. And here he is being asked about it.
How do you feel about this? By the way, the noise that you're hearing is his annoyingly loud car. Abercrombie and Fitch. I got no problem for that. We're just saying it never happened. I would love it if somebody wanted to pay me to not wear their stuff. I was just going to say I'd love to throw my hat in the ring for that. Sure. You don't want me wearing your stuff? Just let me know and pay me. It's time to play Name That Tune. And it's going to be different today. All right. Now, 5701949, you're going to pick me. Or Woods or L-O-B to represent you. First up, M1 Jake from San Diego? L-O-B. Yeah. Jake, how old are you? I'm 27. Jake, are you a female? Yes. Okay. I go by Jake. You go by Jake. What's your actual name? Jacqueline? Nina. Nina. Rhymes with Jake. Right. It's close. It's close. Thank you. Hang on. Next up.
M1 Brubby from San Diego. Who do you want? There you go. Hang on the line. And finally, M1 Rick from Escondido. You got me. Sounds good. All right. Now, we paid $350 for this device. Oh, my God. They are buzzers that are in front of us, but they don't make noise. They're lit right now. All of our buzzers are yellow, but the first person to press the button, it will light up green. Buzz in first. Don't cheat. Well, you can, but if you do, you run the risk of not knowing the answer. Jay's got the motherboard in there. He can tell. Who's going to keep score? L.O.B.? Yeah, I'm going to keep score, but Jay, make sure you stop the clip as soon as it turns the color in there. Cheaters in here. Oh, yeah. All right, so what's the theme? This is 80s. 80s stuff, all right. And title or artist? Yes.
Okay, either way, we can win with a title or the artist. Oh, we don't know what we're playing for either. We're playing for a four-pack of tickets to see Fitz and the Tantrum September 2nd at the Del Mar racetrack. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Woods. Woods. Wait, no, mine's green. I forgot to yell my name. It doesn't matter. The light is what determines it. Yes, indeed. I'll stop the world and melt with you. Thank you. The light is the determining factor. It's actually just called melt with you. Oh, whatever. He's just mad because he started to say the answer. Of course. We have said this from the very beginning. We have said from the very beginning that Woods complains that he is cheated and that he said it first. Every time. He hated the idea. He hated the idea of these lights. No, I like the lights. I don't like having to yell my name out. You didn't. But I'm not going to anymore. You didn't. Okay, no, no, no. We forgot. I forgot. She didn't either. I know. I forgot. Say your name and hit the button. Okay, okay. Here we go.
Mikey. Woods. Yes, go ahead, Woods. That's Duran Duran. He got it. He's got the green light. So, regardless. Irregardless. If that light's green, that's the first person to click in. So, Woodsy, you got it. Alright, here we go. Mikey. Depeche Mode. There you go, Mikey. Wow, we've all got one. Oh, yeah, yeah. We all got one. Yeah, we got to check that light. You got to check it. But I like it. Because you don't want to give it away. Say your name and hit it. You don't want to give it away to me. If yours is red, I go, oh, Depeche Mode. True. Oh, this is nervous. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Lauren, tears for fear. Damn it. Nice. That's rad. I like the way everybody looks around to see who's got the green light. We all look around to see who's got the green light. That was rad. All right. Reset us, buddy. Here we go. Here we go. Woods. Woods. Shaka Khan. Here we go. Okay. Woods. I want to be a cowboy. Nice. Who is that? It's Boys Don't Cry. Oh, wow. I do not know that one. But in fairness to Woods, he did work at the Mashed Potato Club. That was a big player there. Big player. Who just hit their button again? I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. Reset me. Reset me. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. It's very sensitive. Here we go. Woods. Woods. New order. Dang it.
All right, here we go. Woods. It's 99 left balloons. Gosh, darn it. Darn it. He's good. Woods is good, man. He's getting on it. How do you guys like these buzzers now? His hand is on there. I love it. I still, I love it for that reason. I do. Here we go. Lauren, make it work. Lauren. Yeah. Look at how angry. Woods is like, now. Man, she was quick. And I'm telling you, under a normal situation, we may have heard Woods say the words, Washy! I'm not saying my name anymore. I'm just hitting it. I know, we're not. I'm saying it after I turn to you. It's okay, it's okay, because Jay's telling us. I'm telling it now. Reset, reset, reset. Reset us! Come on, dude. Here we go. Woods. Elvis Costello? Oh, reset us, reset us. No, I'm just going to kick him out. Here we go. We already did that. Let it work. Reset. Oh, sorry, wrong one. But mine's green for the last one! Reset, reset, reset, reset.
Okay, Wood, you can't play. I know. Here we go. Lauren? Come on, Eileen. It was? Uh-huh. It didn't sound like it. At all. Here we go. All right, reset, reset. Reset us! Reset us! We've got two left. What's the score? The score is Mike 1, Lauren 4, Woods 5. Did you take a point away from me? Oh. See? Joe Honesty. Hey, I cannot tell a lie. It gets George Washington over there. These last two are two-pointers to get Mikey in the game. Here we go. Lauren. Lauren. Tenderness. Yes, word. Dang it. One more. Oh, wait. Not over yet. I can tie her. All right. I'm done. Here we go. Woods. Go ahead, Woods. Thompson Twins. Hold me now. It's a tie game. Tie game. And then we don't have a tiebreaker. We'll just give them both prizes. We'll give them both prizes. I love the new system. This is great. M1 Jake, you're a winner. And M1 Brubby, you're a winner.
Can you both hang on the line, please? Hang on the line. That was intense. Oh, it was, and I love it. I want to keep playing it. I want to come up with more games that we get to use the button, so maybe we all think about that. I know it. It's fantastic. Finally. Let's see. So we have some hidden audio for you, and when I say that, it's fantastic because nobody in this room, except for Jay, knows who the hidden audio is of. So right now, either Woods or L.O.B. are wondering, who do you have hidden audio of? Do you know who it is? Or, yes, I do. Who do you have hidden audio of? You guys ever just play pranks on people? That's great. Do you have hidden audio of L.O.B. or do you have hidden audio of Woods? Woods, it's not you. You need to crank it up, too, Mikey. Is it dirty? It is not dirty. Oh, gosh. But I will tell you what it is. Oh, boy. I don't do anything. I don't care. Don't you? I don't do anything. When we are not on the air, LOB has a tendency to sing jingles that we play on the radio station. Repeatedly. Repeatedly. And so we decided we were going to taper. Oh, boy. Listen to this.
Oh my God. Oh, that is fantastic. That is fantastic. That is fantastic. Here's another. Oh, my God. Every day. I miss that. Reagan. O'Reilly. O'Reilly. Little pitchy dog. Lauren looks like she wants to die right now. Oh, wow. Every day. Sounds like EVW. Yeah, isn't it the same? It's not the same. Now it's, oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly. I'm bringing it on a punch. There's a slight difference. Sounds like you got it down, though. Yeah. I'm bringing it on a punch. I'm bringing it on a punch. This is insane. This is off the air audio. This is on a break. Yeah, we're on a break.
Oh, my God. Auto parts. Oh, wow. Isolate auto parts. Every day. Every break. I do. Everywhere. Not just in the studio walking through. Through the hallway. In the bathroom. It's a tick. It is. And M1's, I hope you love it. I hope you love getting to hear what happens when we're not on the air. Every day we get to hear. She does every single commercial. We'll be sitting here just working, not even paying attention, but you hear it. Is it annoying? It doesn't annoy me because to me, it has become...
Just as much a part of the process as the commercial itself. Yes. They go with each other. Right. You know. But I was like, this has to be captured for the audience. This needs to be captured for the audience. They need to hear what happens. And maybe for a trial later on, if L.O.B.'s ever on trial for insanity. Yes. Then we can come in and be like, listen, she's obviously insane. Absolutely. Listen to this. If you don't believe she's insane, listen to this. Oh, my God. See, Your Honor. Reagan, O'Reilly, O'Reilly. Oh, wow. Digging in. You know? You know? Now it's, oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly. They're not even looking at each other. Words get so annoying. The slight difference. Sounds like you've got it down, though. I'm doing the schedule, so I'm just like looking at my computer. Woods looks at his computer scrolling. I love it. It's creeping real good. When I first said, is that annoying? I saw a look at Woods' face. He wanted to go. It doesn't annoy me. I don't get annoyed easily by stuff like that. It doesn't annoy me. I just love it. Mikey Morning Quarterback at 730. Football questions.
And they will be asked of L.O.B. and Jay. You've got to pick who you think will come out victorious on that. Let's see. I'd go with L.O.B. Well, I only beat him out by one last time. He didn't know much about football. L.O.B. may think that she knows more about football than she does. That's true. A doctor was writing prescriptions. His name is Dr. Tyron Reese, 71 years old, general practitioner in L.A., in Inglewood. Inglewood? Dude has been arrested because he was writing prescriptions for nearly a million tablets of hydrocodone, otherwise known as Vicodin. And here's the thing that's interesting about it. It's actually more profitable to smuggle the pills. to mexico than it is to you would think it would be the other way around like that the profit would be getting it from mexico to hit the united states the profit is getting it to mexico a smuggler will pay two bucks a pill here in the united states then he goes to mexico sells it to a farmacia for three dollars and fifty cents a pill then the american addict will pay six dollars a pill at said
Mexican Pharmacia. Weird. Yes. Good racket. Yeah. I mean, not a good racket, but it's... It was very profitable for these guys. This dude wrote prescriptions last year for about 920,000 hydrocodone pills. Did you ever just get greedy? It was a lot, man. Vicodin or it's also known as Lortab. The thing is, is that when they're going across the border into Mexico, they're not as under as much scrutiny as coming back. Oh, yeah. And so there were no hydrocodone pills that were going that anybody found, you know, that the authorities found going to Mexico last year. But and there was only 90 oxycodone pills. Now, that's Percocet. But these people, man, they were making a lot of dough off this stuff. You do that as a doctor. 39-year-old woman that was linked to this ring that was arrested in the United States. She had about $27,000 in cash stuffed in her bra. Wow. It's a lot of dough. It's a jackpot. Yes, it is. More ways than one. Big bra. The PERC pills go for about $15 each. Wow. What? Valium.
Goes for $130 for a 90-tablet bottle. And the Vikes, $10 a pop. So obviously a big money-making thing, and they arrested the guy. So he's in a lot of trouble. I got an email for you, but I think what we're going to do is we're going to take a quick timeout, come back, play Mikey Morning quarterback. Oh, remember the... Taiwanese kid that sang I Will Always Love You. How could we not? How could you not forget him? Little bowl haircut. Taiwanese. Little tuxedo. It's a little dude. Little boy. Little boy.
That's a little. He was as tall as he was around. Stop it. Step off. Amazing. He is a male. When we come back, not only are we going to play Mikey Morning Quarterback, so you need to call us right now and either pick L.O.B. or J to win, but we are also going to play you the newest Japanese sensation, singing the most. Dead on. Karen Carpenter. No way. I've ever heard. No way. Dude, it's going to freak you out. And it's next. Mickey Show coming up in minutes. Hot quiz, hot shot. There's a brick heading for your n**** at 50 miles per hour. What do you do? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What do you do? Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW.
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Well, it looks like you got some backup on the 5 southbound between Poinsettia Lane, Birmingham Drive, also on that 52 at Mass Boulevard. You were seeing some delays. Oceanside, they're still working this accident. It's on the 5 southbound before Las Polgas Road. It's over on the right shoulder. They're just waiting on a tow truck right now. This report also brought to you by Farmers Insurance. Don't have a Farmers Insurance agent? Well, you may not be saving as much as you could. Farmers has dozens of discounts. They could save you hundreds of dollars. Just call Farmers Agent George Nguyen. His number is 858. 8658-9868. Start saving. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird's Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. 440 Monday morning being brought to you. I should say it by Frost Brewed Coors Light. When the mountains turn blue, it's as cold as the Rockies. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surf-wise today, seeing a gradual taper off in that west-northwest and southwest swell combination, smaller surf across the board. There are signs of a new but very steep south swell out in the water, too, which basically is showing us lines that are running right past our areas. Look for surf in that ankle-knee-high zone, maybe a few waist-high plus waves at the standout spots on occasion. Overcast skies will greet you, and some associated northwest winds are putting a texture crumble on a lot of our areas as well. Water camp, about mid-60s or so.
Just kind of weak and overcast. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com for your surfboard repair and restoration needs. Go see Powell Joe Roper right down on Raider Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Yeah, this is the light. Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear, like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Say what? On FM 94.9. Word of the day is architecture. I haven't said it yet, so keep listening for it. First there was a Taiwanese kid singing the I Will Always Love You. One of the, Mikey's show favorite, you know. And then, now we got a new one. It's a Japanese girl who doesn't speak English. Singing the most dead-on Karen Carpenter I've ever heard. Let's do that, then we'll do Mikey Morning Quarterback. What do you say? Please. Let's do that. We'll do that first, then we'll do Mikey Morning Quarterback. Okay.
So, this was sent to me, by the way, by M1 Podcast. He found it. Weird. And I know, that guy finds every, he finds everything on the internet. He has been through the entire internet, in its entirety. The whole internet. The entire internet. He reached a page that just said, the end. The end. Oh, crap. He's like, oh, I guess I'll start over. I'll try to find some new Chololos. All right, so here is this Japanese girl named Kiyoki singing Karen Carpenter. She doesn't speak English. Oh, thank you. They're back again. Woodsy, could you almost think, if I hadn't said anything, could you almost think that's Karen Carpenter? A hundred percent. Oh my gosh. My wife's jaw was dropped open. She was like, she couldn't stop staring at the screen and hearing, and she's like, it's like my ears and my eyes are playing tricks on me. It sounds like somebody punched Karen Carpenter's lips, you know?
And she's like, show must go on. Show must go on. Now she's singing a different language. What you're about to hear is not English. You've never heard sing a song in an Asian place. That's right. Exactly. Karen Carpenter singing again. Yes. It's as if Karen Carpenter had gone and bought a Rosetta Stone. Wow. And then done this. Eating a ham sandwich and then did this. That's Mama Cass. She did eat a sandwich. Mama Cass. She died from a sandwich. Yes, Mama Cass, they say, died from eating a ham sandwich. Mama Cass, of course, completely different. Karen Carpenter died from not eating a sandwich. You see the connection now. Sometimes eating disorders just aren't funny. It's like she blew her head off, like Kurt Cobain. Remember that, Matt? Kurt Cobain?
Remember when he blew his head off with a 12-gauge? Oh, wow. Remember when Amy Winehouse overdosed? Too soon? Too soon? Quitters. Oh, wow. You kind of wonder about these people. Did they open their mouth and sing and find out, oh, I kind of sound like Karen Carpenter? Or do you set your sights on that person and you're like, I'm going to sing? I'm going to get it. Oh, she sang it. She sang it and went, this is trippy. Hang on a second. Mom! Come here. Listen to it. Come here for a minute. Come here. Listen to this. Oh, that's very good. It's pretty cool, right? Pretty cool. Wow. It's on TV. Do the search, Jimmy. How the game works.
I am going to ask back and forth. I'll go back and forth between Jay and L.O.B. L.O.B. started last time, so this time Jay will start. And what's the prize today, Jay? The all-new Green Lantern Rise of the Manhunters video game for the Nintendo Wii. What game system was that? Nintendo. Woodsy, can you hand me the... No, no, no, not you, young lady. That's the... Woodsy's got to hand it to me. What was it again? It's a summer's top action game. On what? From what? On the Wii. Was it PlayStation? No, it's on the Wii. Who makes it? We got to let them know for the sponsor. It's on the Wii. The sponsor needs... The sponsor needs to know that... Naitendo? All right. Nintendo. Just phonetic. Nintendo. All right. Let's see. Let's let people pick a horse. M1 Barista from Vista. Who do you want? Jay, please. You got it. Hang on. Peace.
And M1RiffRaff from San Diego, you got LLB, okay? Okay. All right, we're going to ask him basic questions about football. And who's taking the score? I got it. Woodsy. All right, start with Jay. I'm nervous. Okay. All right, Jay. Yes. What number does Phillip Rivers wear? Do not turn around. Don't turn around. What number does Phillip Rivers wear? He's trying to look into the reflection. Don't. Don't. Don't cheat. Don't cheat. 51. Oh, my God. Wow. I don't know. It's incorrect. Phillip Rivers wears number 17, Jay. Starting quarterback for your San Diego Chargers. All right. His jersey is hanging in the lobby in which you work. He sees it every day. Dude, a hundred times this. But I didn't want him to turn around because he'd know. All right, L.O.B.? Yes. What is another name for a wide receiver? Another name for a wide receiver? Mm-hmm. Oh, Jay's getting her.
Another name for a wide receiver. Gosh, I didn't know there was another name for a wide receiver. Another name for a wide receiver is Wide Out. Wide Out. Wide Out. Michael Irvin was a great wide out. Yes. Jay. Yes. Zero, zero. What was one of Hall of Famer Deion Sanders' nicknames? Come on with these. Just one of. One of. We will accept one of. Do you know L.O.B.? Yes. Big D. Nope, that's incorrect. Big D is not correct. Let's see. Nickname for the city of Dallas. He had two nicknames. One of them was Neon Dion, and the other one was Prime Time. I only knew Neon Dion. That's right. All right, L.O.B., you ready? Yep. Who was the head coach of the Chargers before Norv Turner?
Three seconds? No, I need more time than that. Jay got more time on Philip Rilland. I'll give you five seconds. Marty Schottenheimer. Bam! You got it! Dang it. I didn't even do that one. You got it, L.A.B. I didn't live here. I didn't live here when he was the coach. Wow! You got it. Look at you! All right, you ready, Jay? Maybe. All right. What is a flea flicker? A flea flicker? I see... Isolate, isolate, isolate, isolate. A flea flicker is a little short lateral pass. Dang it. No. A flea flicker is when the running back takes the ball and then he tosses it back to the quarterback and throws the ball for a pass. It's a very fun play to watch when they happen. Very exciting. Very exciting when that happens. One for L.O.B. Oh, wow. That was close. L.O.B.? Yes. Is a linebacker found in the first, second, or third line of defense? Second line of defense. Oh, my God. That is correct, LLB. My boyfriend at Commerce was a linebacker. We got a game. We got a game. Do we? Jay? Yes. What is an audible? It means that the quarterback just calls it himself without getting a huddle. That'll work. That'll work. That's close enough. Close enough.
Well done. Good job. Two to one. Two to one. Very good. L.O.B.? Yes? What is turnover on downs? It means that you involuntarily let up the ball either from an interception or a fumble. Oh, get. No, no. Darn it. I'm sorry. That is incorrect. Turnover on downs is when the other team gets the ball after fourth down. Darn it. Jay goes, yep. That's right. I knew it, bro. I knew it. I was thinking too hard. She doesn't lose a point, though, right? No. Right, okay. No. Do we keep going? Because we have to, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. To get a winner? Yep. It's two to one LOB right now. This could tie it. All right. Jay? Yes. Going for two directly precedes what? A touchdown. That is correct. We are tied. We are tied. We are tied. I would have been thinking of pre-seeds, and then I would have been confused. L.O.B.? Yes. How many timeouts does a team get in a game? Oh, boy. How many timeouts does a team get in a game? Six. Jay, how many more do you have? I've got plenty. Okay, good. Let's keep going. All right. Jay, you ready? Let's go for an hour. Yes. I don't know why I love it so much. I love it so much. I love the explanations. I know.
The sure answer. I know it. I know it. I know it. Jay? Yes. How many points is a defensive touchdown worth? Six. That was a great question. Great question, but you got it. Yeah, I knew that. You got it. 3-3, 3-3, 3-3, 3-3. It's 3-3? 3-3. L-O-B? Yes. How many points is a safety worth? Safety is two points. Oh, my. Yes, L.A.B. Man, he's running away with it. Is it his turn? It's 4-3, yep. Jay? Yes. LaDainian Tomlinson wore what number when he was a Charger? Seven. No, Jay. No. He wore number 21. He wore number 21, which is a derivative of seven. Yes. That's what I meant. Yes. Is it over, or do we keep?
Do we ask L.O.B.? It's up to you. I think it's over. She's winning. 4-3. 4-3. L.O.B. I can keep going because I got enough. I've got three more. Okay. Is that enough? That's not enough? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, please let it be enough. Just keep going. Yeah, just finish them. You ready, L.O.B.? Okay. But there's going to be an uneven amount. That's all right. Just keep going. What's the name of the Super Bowl trophy? I'm looking at L.O.B. pinching her bottom lip while wearing sunglasses because she got LASIK surgery. S.O.B. What is it? Oh, it was just in my head and it left. Don't go anywhere. What is the name of the Super Bowl trophy? She's searching. She's turned around. She's got her head down. She's thinking. She looks like she's about to crash land in an airplane. Should be a countdown of some sort. Five. Five. But I know you don't do that. Four. Someone's last name. Yep. You're going to kill yourself when I say it because you're going to know the Lombardi champion. All right, Jay can tie this. Dang it. Ball flying in there. Jay can tie it with this. Jay, what team has more Super Bowl victories than any other team? The Packers. L-O-B is your winner. You are a winner. Steelers is correct. I have one more question. I'm going to burn it on Jay just for funsies. Jay? Yes.
John Madden was the famous coach of what team? Can't say that word on the radio, Jay. The Patriots. Close. The Raiders. Same completely different. It couldn't be farther. Couldn't be geographically further away from one another. Same division. Yeah. That is true. That is true. Last time, didn't Lauren win? Yep. Yeah. Lauren is 2-0 at Mikey Morning Quarterback. That's right. M1 Riff Raff. Lauren brought it home for you. And so you're going to see Fitz in the tantrums. Bam. Hang on, okay? Yeah, thank you very much. You got it. I thought it was the Nintendo game. Oh, yeah, the Nintendo. You won the Nintendo game. You won the Nintendo. The all-new Green Lantern Rise of the Manhunters video game. There you go. Hang on. Summer's top action game.
Yeah. Worth $40. There you go. Sometimes Jay will flub his words. Will I? Won't you? Let's flub again. I just can't wait for Jay to flub again. And the most fun is when he tries to defend the fact that he has gone and flubbed again. Jay has flubbed again. 70s, Tim Conway, Don Knox. Try to say that Mikey has a twin. No. But when he said it sounded like he had a tin. Well, I can't wait for Jay to flub again. Jay to flub again. Like a stoned and drunken gypsy in the driveway. He insults his friends. Making them sound fat is just like freaking child's play. But we say. Whatever you think you know about this man is a revolutionary. He just said Mike should drain his pole again.
He just told Woods to buy a Happy Mill again. I can't wait for Jay to flub again. Yes, I can't wait for Jay to flub again. She gets put in the general populace. General populace. General. The general populace. Genual. Genual. 570-1949. Jay, as much as you hate me, I love you, and I just need you to know it. Holy cow. Well, as long as she gets put in the genuine populace. That guy, he gets us. We get him right back. We take plenty of arrows to the back in here. I know that much. This is going to thrill Woods, but apparently dogs can smell cancer. Did you know this? Dogs can smell cancer. Did you know that even dogs can smell fear? Apparently cancer, too, little boy.
example woods said something that will always it'll it'll never leave my head he said that when he hears this guy sing he pictures the guy standing up with his arms straight out palms up and doing sort of this sashay i think they were tucking at the same time a little bit of a swish going on yeah like Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up! More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. We should have bought rights to the word craftsmanship before it became so overused. Hired lawyers to protect it and keep it true. Like the true craftsmanship of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. With an all-new world-class interior.
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to the splendor of the silver strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4, San Diego. Stevie. Janet. What are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet. I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 ES350 for $3.99 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego.
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This report is brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. In Escondido on the 15 southbound Old 395 Highway, there's an accident there. It's in the center divider. 15 southbound Rancho Bernardo Road, we have an accident on the right shoulder. And you do have some backup as you head through Carlsbad, the 5 southbound between Poinsettia Lane and Birmingham Drive. This report brought to you by ExxonMobil. At Exxon & Mobile, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level. That's to help you remove deposits so your car will run cleaner. It's just one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Are you kidding? It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you? On FM 94.9. What's not good is when you're trying to light the candles on your 13-year-old kid's birthday cake and apparently fireworks have been mixed in with them. It's not good. It's not good. Really? All these family members in Maryland are in good condition. But they did explode. Wow.
Operation Shadowbox. Well, it worked. Happened in El Cajon. There's a club in El Cajon. Turned out it was the big hub for drugs and hookers and weapons. Uh-oh. Oh, they shut the Shadowbox down? Oh, no. It wasn't the Shadowbox. It was called Operation Shadowbox. It was your Friday night work. Damn it. But it was an Iraqi social club. Oh, I know. You don't have to tell me about it. Numerous complaints of drug sales, which Woods is really into. Gambling and prostitution. And other criminal activity. In Woods. You know, so stuff Woods has been involved in. Yeah, I have a lot of Iraqi friends, and that's kind of where we would hang out on Friday for happy hour. It's no big deal.
Hey, Woods, how are you? I'm good to see you. How far? How are you, buddy? Doing pretty good. Listen, can you give me the VIP section? You know who I am. Yeah, I know who you are. Listen, do you still want me to get you that massive amount of cocaine? Yes. Because you do cocaine. Absolutely. Absolutely. Would you like me to get you prostituted? Yep. Are you still involved in criminal activity? Steadily. Come on in. Thank you very much. No cover charts for me tonight? Of course not, Wood. Wood's on sports. You know that. That's right. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? My man, well, this was a pretty crazy story that happened over the weekend. So, violence at a Raider game. That's weird. Two men were shot. Oh, gosh. Following a preseason game between the 49ers and the Raiders. It was actually at Candlestick Park on Saturday night. It was a weird story because the guy that got shot had an anti-49er shirt on, yet was shot by, they think, a Raider fan. No. So I guess they were both Raider fans. But, yeah, two people shot. Also, another man savagely beaten in a men's restroom during the game and is suffering life-threatening injuries. So, dude, hey. Gnarly. Go to the game. Watch the frigging game. Stop getting in fistfights with people. No kidding. Good God.
Also, if you didn't hear earlier, the Chargers were victorious in their preseason game against the Dallas Cowboys in Dallas. They won 20-7, and the most important thing, the thing that hampered us the most last year was our lack of sports. Well, that, but forcing turnovers on defense. Forced three of them last night. Real good. Eric Weddle, nice pick. Stephen Cooper, huge hit to dislodge the ball. It was great. Chargers win, 27. Let's see. M1, concrete from Ramona. What was the word of the day? It was architecture. That is right. Well done. Park Hopper tickets for Legoland. Hang on the line, please. All right, thanks. Uh, can dogs detect cancer? Two years ago, Janet thought she was the picture of good health. I was feeling fantastic. I had no symptoms. But then her daughter's dog, Lexi, started acting a little strange. She kept bugging me and jumping on my back. And jumping on my back. The Scottish Terrier jumped so hard, she actually fractured Janet's back. And then an x-ray revealed something completely unexpected. So cancer was...
In my lung, wrapped around my heart and attached to my back. It was stage four lung cancer. Oh, if it wasn't for her, I'd be dead. They told me if I had gone undiagnosed for three more months, I would have been gone. Studies have proven dogs can actually smell cancer. If you have lung cancer. You excrete certain compounds in the breath. Let us look on one of the papers we published. It's inspiring doctors like Tarak McHale of Florida Hospital to develop new ways to diagnose the disease. Along with the team at the Cleveland Clinic, Dr. McHale is creating a machine patients would breathe into. If the card inside detects compounds linked to cancer, it reveals a certain color pattern. If we have a test that is very cheap, very easy, very safe, what we call non-invasive, does not put anybody in harm's way, we could potentially diagnose lung cancer. That's important because a patient has a 50% chance of surviving if found early. What we do is we have, my girlfriend has a wiener dog, okay? And I ask her, her name is Melissa, who I meet on eHarmony, okay? She has a wiener dog.
And then I bring winter dog to work. Winter tag. I will have a person come in, breathe their breath into winter dog head. And then if winter dog have a reaction, then I send to, you know, oncology department. You're not having strangers breathe into Miss Muffet's face. Miss Muffet gets treat, baby. If a stranger breathes in her face, you're going to give her a treat. I talk to you, babe. I say I'm going to take Miss Moffat to get breathe in face. I thought you were going to do an actual experiment, like a scientist thing. This is better. This is more than just an experiment. This is curing it, you know? It better be. Can you please keep your hoe on a leash, please? I'm tired of her. She's coming to the office. We're doing work. This is America, man. I'm tired of her doing work. It ain't like back home. Keep her on the freaking leash. Keep her on the freaking leash. Look at this girl. She's gorgeous. I know she's beautiful. Listen. I'm going to have you departed. What's departed? Deported. That's a movie. Oh, Jack Nicholson. Yes, and the DiCaprio.
Tell her to come into office. We're here working. You want to go to lunch? I bring you lunch. He's psychotic. Listen to me, Farouk. This is like, not like back home. This is Katy Perry land and everything, okay? That's right. The girls are different here, okay? You know, it's a trade-off. Find a nice Indian girl. Listen to me. Good God. She has lip to me. Give me lip, butt. Girls back home don't wear bikini. Fair enough. She wear bikini look like dental floss, you know? Don't worry about your stupid dog. God. I'll take my dog with me then. We're trying to do work. I'm taking Miss Muffet. Come on, Miss Muffet. Don't take Miss Muffet. We're working. Try to work now, stupid. Now we can't. Great, Farouk. You're so brilliant, right? Oh. I will tell her off. Why don't you have some pee control? Why don't you go in my space every once in a while and find a girl? Have some pee control, for God's sake. I do. Do you? You ruin it. I want to do something, and if it works, great. If it doesn't work, who cares? I'll try this. It's called On Air Ask Out. Now, here's how we're going to do this. Call us right now, 5701-949.
If you want to ask somebody out, I'm not saying anything. I'm not going to say a word. We're going to call. You're going to ask. Okay. If the person says yes, you will go on the wall of fame. What is the wall of fame? It's an actual wall that we're going to write your name on and your name will be emblazoned on it forever. If we get voicemail or they say no, wall of shame. Okay. So, 570-1949. You want to ask somebody out? Now, be honest, please. What I don't want, and I don't even know how we're going to do this bit, because what I don't want is people are like, yeah, I'm going to call you and ask you, I just pretend to say yes. Yeah, just to be on the radio. Don't be a douche, please. Just please do this. Listen, if you were out this weekend, you were at Stingery, you ran into a beautiful young lady, you got her digits, call her and ask her out to dinner.
Right now. Let's see. M1 Scott from San Diego. How are you, Scott? I'm all right. How are you? Good. You're going to ask a girl out. Wow. Okay, you're going to ask Scott. What's her name? Candace. How old is she? She's 24. How old are you? 23. Cool. Yeah. How do you know her? Well, we met at UC Davis. Excuse me. UC Davis. Originally, and we were studying agriculture together. Just sort of acquaintances. We didn't really know each other a whole lot, but I just recently discovered that we both live in San Diego. Sweet. We sort of bumped into each other, and she works for the county. I got into video production, which I didn't really foresee, but that's sort of where I'm at, and I've had a thing for her since.
College, and we hang out every once in a while right now, but nothing more than friends. Okay, now. I'd like that to change. All right, now, Scott, I'm going to explain this to you, and this is how we're going to do this. All right. We are going to call her, so I'm going to, first of all, I'm going to need to put you on hold and get her number. Okay. We're going to call her, and I'm not saying a word, okay? Okay. I am not going to say a word. So when she answers, you are going to. Do your thing. I ain't saying nothing. If we get her voicemail, you're out. Yeah. Hall of shame. If she says no to the date, you're out. Okay? Do you understand? I understand. If she says yes to the date, you go on the wall of fame. Clarify, Mike. He's never asked her out before. You never asked her out before? Never been out with her. Is that the...
Okay. All right. All right, then hang on, and we're going to get her number, okay? Hang on. Hang on. All right, so we need her number, and then we'll call her, and we'll let him do all the talking. Again, he's Scott. He's 23. She's Candace. She's 24. They met at UC Davis. Where's that? UC Davis. Santa Barbara? No, no, no, no, no. It is not. It is... It's like a Bakersfield, Lodi area. It's Davis. So I've got the number you want me to call her? Can you give me the number? Yeah. Let me call her? Because I want to call with him on the line, and then he's going to do the asking. He's got cojones. I like Scott. Nervous. She better say yes. I hope she answers. If he answers, wall of shame. If he answers, wall of shame. If she says yeah, it's good to go.
All right. Let's get him back. Okay. Are you there? Oh, wait a minute. Go ahead. Let me talk to him. Scott? Yeah. Okay. So, again, you're going to do all the talking until the point she hangs up. Voicemail, wall of shame. And if she says no, wall of shame. She says yes, wall of fame. All right. Here we go. Hang on. It's all you at this point. Jesus. Okay. I didn't recognize your number. What's up? No worries. I just wanted to give you a buzz. Is this a good time? I'm on my break, actually. What's up? Oh, nothing. It had occurred to me that the last few times we'd seen each other, we hadn't really had a chance to actually talk. It seems like somebody else is always there. I just wanted to see if you might go to dinner tonight. Yeah. Well, yeah, let me look at my calendar.
If not tonight, I know tomorrow is definitely free. Plan on tomorrow then. Okay, just the two of us or like in the group that we normally go with or what? No, I'd say let's get away from the group. Why not just the two of us? Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. Tomorrow works for me. I don't know if the time would be good, but yeah, tomorrow would be great. Seven o'clock? That's fine. I'll swing by. Okay, cool. Like, text me and let me know, like, how dressy I need to be or, you know, how I'm going to wear. I am going to be wearing a tuxedo, though. I'll text you then. Okay, cool. Looking forward to it. Have a good rest of your shit. Yeah, me too. You too. Have a great day. Yes. Yes, he is. Wiener time. Dude. Dude, that was great. Money. Ball Z. S.O.B.
Nice. You know, all that makes me think is you just have to sound confident, and they're in. Oh, my gosh. That was great. She even laughed at your bad joke. Yes. And trust us, it was not a great joke, but it worked. I liked it. I liked it. Holy cow. Oh, you're so in. I couldn't have done it better myself. Bring a condom. So you got... Oh, boys. Okay. But seriously, bring one, maybe bring two. So you guys knew each other at UC Davis. You're both working out here. You've seen each other and hung out. Right. And that was, you could tell when he first asked, she was like, is this a date? Is this not a date? Is this a date? Is this not a date? She didn't want to say the word date. Wow. Okay. Guess what, Scott? You're going to be the very first name that goes on the Mikey Show Wall of Fame. And congratulations to you. You just got yourself a date with a nice little honey. I bet she's an angel. She sounds like a little angel. She sounded cute. All right, thank you. It's in this picture. I was thinking to myself as it was going on, I was like, there's no way that this is going to work as the phone was ringing because I was like, we're going to get voicemail after voicemail after voicemail. And I'm like, and it's going to suck.
Now watch. It will suck from this point on. Right. We set the bar real, real high. We can do this, though. We can do this. I wish more people would call in because I want to hear. I would listen to those for an hour. Me? I mean, it's like being in a room with nothing on but black socks up to your knees smoking a cigarette, being a voyeur. Yes. And I love to do that. With a brown cigarette. A brown cigarette. In a white. Cigarette holder. And you're just nude, except for black socks. Why do you have to be like that? Smoking a cigarette with your legs cross-watching. On a giant beanbag that's shaped like a stormtrooper's head. See, I see a leather chair, a big high-backed leather chair. Nude on leather? That's the worst. Yeah, that is the worst. So when you get up, it goes... Yeah. Why would you want to do that? Because that's what a voyeur is. Yeah. But why would you want to sit on the leather chair? You're wearing voyeur glasses, L.O.B. I like to watch L.O.B. Right now. Yes. L.O.B. has on sunglasses. I mean, it's like our good friend J.R. Isbell said. I like to look. I just don't like to touch. That's right. Now, if I was telling the truth, it'd sound more like this. I love looking. I love touching. They're both equal.
Right. Well, touching is actually better than looking. Anything having to do with anything sexual. Right, yeah. Whether it be looking, touching, feeling. Touching, feeling, smelling, touching. Licking. L-O-B, A-L-O-B. A-L-O-B. This is your friend, Matt. Sounds like Jay, though. And that was a little bit much. Sorry. With that one there. Sorry. Got carried away. A little bit further than I thought it was going to go. Oh, no. Woods just choked on his dick. Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome to the stage Mr. Jason R. Isbell now. You make me weep. Just swam till we try. Has a $12 million house in La Jolla. Wow. Wow. That goes right down to the White Sand Beach. Happy birthday, man. 3,000 square feet, three bedrooms, four and a half bath. And he has just applied to have it bulldozed so that he can make it into a two-story, 18,000 square feet home. Oh, adding 15,000 to it. Yee, not bad. You're at the group that's pushing for the porn condom law. If you haven't, I'll tell you about it. Also, that's a true statement. Hmm.
Calls 570-1949. Girl, what can you say? Cause there's loving, touching, and squeezing. Yo, coming up. I think we have it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. Ruh-roh. F-M-M. 94.9. This is. Hello, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. This Wednesday night, go see Company of Thieves. They'll play the belly up. And Friday night, butthole surfers are at Brick by Brick. Fitz and the Tantrums hit the Del Mar Racetrack September 2nd. Ben Harper's there September 4th. The Ivory Corporation will do two nights at House of Blues September 7th and 8th. Also September 8th at the Casbah, the SD Music Thing kickoff party with Telekinesis.
Still to come this summer. The Kills and about the music show with Givers and about the music show with The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. Also, TV on the radio and Arctic Monkeys. Bush with Filter. Misfits. Blink-182. Blitz and Trapper. Ryan Adams. Colts with Foster the People. Bright Eyes. Foo Fighters and the Boxer Rebellion. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. The GoPhone Unlimited is so, so cool, especially for those that don't necessarily have the best credit. Maybe you found yourself in a position where you've made some financial mistakes in the past and now you're paying for it because when you apply for credit or when you're trying to do stuff, it's not easy. Well, that's why the GoPhone is so perfect because what we're talking about is 50 bucks. It's 50 bucks a month on the nationwide network. You pay that, you're good to go. You've got unlimited talk, unlimited text, and web for $50 a month. Now, all you have to do is go into one of the AT&T stores. You'll see them all over the place. Or call 800-GO-PHONE. Or go to att.com slash GOPHONE. But this is one of the most exciting products that they have. Check it out. It's GOPHONE.
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Check out greatamericanshowcase.us. They say patience is a virtue, but if you've been waiting to get your hands on a new Honda, there's only so much anticipation one can take. Well, finally, the wait is over. We've just received a factory fresh allotment of Honda Accords, the only vehicle to make car and driver's 10 best list 25 times. And to celebrate, we're giving away 0.9% APR financing for qualified buyers. With the best resale value in its class from Kelly Blue Book, the Accord offers the perfect combination of style and fuel efficiency. Add to that Honda's legendary reputation for quality, and it's no wonder why people have been so eager to get an Accord of their own. Stop waiting and hurry in today before this supply of Accords runs out. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. For more information about Accords resale value, visit kellybluebookswww.kbb.com. MPG based on 2011 EPA mileage estimates for the Accord 4-cylinder sedan AT models. 23-city, 34-highway MPG. Used for comparison purposes only. Actual mileage will vary. See dealer for financing details.
This report brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. Well, it looks like the 15 northbound at the 163. We do have an accident there. It's a hit and run stuck in the center divider. The 78 westbound Emerald Drive, there's an injury accident here. This one in the center divider as well. CHP is already on the scene. And the 5 southbound between Poinsettia Lane, Birmingham Drive. It's slow this morning. This report also brought to you by Caltrans. Speeding in highway work zones, it's deadly. That's why fines are now $1,000 or more. You get those points on your driving record, too. Slow for the Cone Zone. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God. Back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Online.com is the coolest company. As a matter of fact, you're going to be seeing the work
of Jared and createyourdesignonline.com coming up very soon. Pretty cool stuff, but if you want business cards, a website, or any graphic design, go to createyourdesignonline.com. Pretty incredible stuff. So, apparently, there's a ballot initiative in LA. Got launched last week. It's by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. And they want people that do pornos to use condoms. Now, here's what they're saying, okay? It would force L.A. officials to refuse filming permits to any production companies that have actors that choose not to wear condoms. And I guess part of the deal is that this guy Weinstein, he's the foundation president. He's asking if it's fair that the movie stunt people are protected to minimize their risk while protection isn't given.
in the adult industry. And people that are backing it say that they have to get a bunch of signatures because the city refuses to act. Most of the pornos that are produced in Southern California are mostly made in the San Fernando Valley. Now, what I had thought was that adult film stars are screened for sexually transmitted diseases on a real regular basis. So the story confused me just because I thought that they were. They are, but they also have personal lives as well. Well, what's the point then of the screening? I mean, if the thought is, well, they got personal lives, who knows what they're up to? Why weren't they wearing condoms way long time ago? Because the truth is you can't stop what they do outside of there. Screening's there probably as an extra measure to try to scare them into staying in line. Yeah, I guess so.
Because, I mean, you figure as soon as they walk out of there, they could be having unprotected sex with their boyfriend or whatever. The boyfriend's not getting screened or the girlfriend's not getting screened or whatever. There should be a choice, though. I mean, you should be able to make a choice whether you want to do that or not. Well, I think it becomes a health risk because it's not just a health risk to you. It's okay to be irresponsible and roll the dice with your own life, but I think that you're rolling the dice with other people's lives as well. Because they're watching it. No. No, the partner that you're with. The partner that you're with. And also, they're watching it. They're watching it and saying, no, well, they're not having protected sex. Why should I? Well, I don't think that those are anyone's role models when it comes to... I would have to agree with LOB on that one. Some people's role models, LOB. It's a moral compass. Yeah, I don't really know that a lot of people are watching it going, you know... If they do it. Hey, if it's good enough for Bonnie Storm... If it's good enough for Peter North, it's good enough for me, all right? If it's good enough for... Max Drain, it's good enough for me. If that's what he's doing, then that's what I can do. So they don't show these as educational videos in school. Is that what you're telling me? That is, in fact, what I am telling you. So anyway, the porn condom law. And voting for it. You're going to vote for it. Yeah. It's a true statement.
Where is that's a true statement? There it is. There you are, little guy. A little hider, you. Oh, boy. All right, you ready? Shake him up, kid. Shake him up. Here we go. I'm going to read a statement. We're going to find out who said it. People only eat caviar to seem sophisticated. No one likes it. That's a true statement. Oh, that is correct. I agree with you. 1,000%. I agree with you, L-O-B. Much like sushi. Much like sushi. I knew this was going to be the guy. It's good. It's delicious. What's the last time you had caviar, pal? I had some big soiree that I was at. It was an orgy. I'd never tried it before, and I thought, oh, you know. But I like salty. Bait. And I like bait. I like sardines, too. I like oysters. Dude, that's what people fish with, by the way. I like it. You know people fish with salmon eggs? That's what caviar is. I would never buy it. Salmon eggs. I would never buy it, but it was good. There's a difference between being not bad and being good. Good. Like, ooh, I have to have some caviar. You can stomach it. Like my algae shots. I'm not drinking those for taste. If I was saying like, oh yeah, I'm going to have algae shots tonight because I like it. Right. Nobody does that. But the most prized caviar is beluga caviar. Isn't it beluga? Beluga.
I would really like to get mediocre caviar. I'm not saying turd caviar. I'm saying mediocre caviar. Like Albertson's caviar. Whatever. Whatever. What I'm saying is I'm not talking the five and dime caviar. But middle of the road. And then get the real good stuff. And have some douche come in here and taste the two of them and be like, well, that's the beluga. That's beluga. There's no way. And tell us why. Tell us why. Exactly. It's so velvety. It's so velvety on the palate. It's freaking bait. Caviar is a bit.
It's a bit to be fancy. It is so. It's a bit to be fancy. It's much like sushi. I agree. That's ridiculous. No, it's a whole different thing than sushi. I like all the weird tastes like that. It's just like very out there. Here we go. Last one. No, there is one more. But here's one. American Idol has jumped the shark. That's a true statement. Wow. Man, I made that one so long ago, I forgot. LLB, it's got higher ratings than ever. Oh, boy. They need to get out while the getting's good. They're starting to become a joke. Why? Because you can't... How many American Idols have there been now? What, 100? 17? Yeah. And then you got... A bunch of survivors, too. You got, like, judges coming in and out. It's like a big soap opera now. People are out on it. Like, the X Factor's moving in. The voice is moving in. All these people, because they realize that American Idol is just... It's boring. It's a bit. It's a bit. People still love it.
They'll be out on it soon. How about this one? Last one. I don't even have to say who said this. So Jay said, obviously, marijuana should be legalized. That's a true statement. What? Are you kidding me? Well, boom. What? I'm not kidding you. You said it? I've been doing a lot of thinking about this, my friend. Have you? With a marijuana cigarette in your hand? Yes, with a joint in my hand. No, no. Here's the deal. Recently, I'm growing up, and I'm starting to get very nervous about the future of our country and its financial situation. Thinking back to a day on the air when I said, you know, marijuana for me was a gateway drug. Then I started thinking a little bit more about it, and I realized alcohol was a gateway drug, period.
Period, the end. Alcohol was a gateway drug. Nicotine got me to drink. Drinking got me to smoke pot. Smoking pot got me to do a bunch of other stuff. So I started thinking. I really, I really, I had a conversation with my parents about this when I was back in Texas. And my aunt, who's hardcore conservative. And just about the financial situation of our country and our economy. And then I started reading about these articles of these cartels down in Mexico. They're cutting people's heads off all in the name of marijuana. And I'm like, we could make a major, major, major dent in this country's financial situation by legalizing, taxing, and regulating marijuana. I started thinking about the effects of it. And I'm like, boy, kid's been in a little bit of trouble with the old booze. My friend Mike was addicted to alcohol. You know, I started thinking. I said, it's really no worse. It's really no worse. It's really no worse than an oxycodone or a Vicodin. It's no worse. Maybe it's no worse, but you don't want to legalize that either. Well, those are legal. They're prescribed. So is marijuana. Wait, wait, wait. They're illegal if they're not prescribed. Exactly. Exactly. However. You can't just walk into a CVS and be like, hi, I'll take five Vicodin, please. Okay. But tell me about the...
The pharmaceutical industry and how much money those guys make producing that every year. Right. Hey, dude, that's private sector. I get it. I get it. I'm saying with marijuana, you tax it, you legalize it, and this plant could, honest to God, help us get out of the situation. And I'm not a pothead, dude. I'm not a pothead at all. I'll tell you this. I mean, I feel like this ends the conversation, but I know it doesn't because there's so many people that are for it. One death. From? One time. From what? One time that somebody kills somebody because they're stoned and driving. Right. Cop pulls over, does the report, finds out that they're stoned, just like with drinking and driving. And there's all these deaths. Millions, right? Millions of deaths with drinking and driving. Okay. Now, all it's going to take is one person to kill somebody with legalized pot. Right. legalized pot for everybody to say, for someone tearfully to be on television saying, my daughter's dead and this was legalized and this guy was stoned out of his mind on legal marijuana at the time he murdered my daughter by wrecking into her. Sure. How'd he kill her only going 20 miles an hour? But here's the deal. The point that you just made,
It happens a million times a year with alcohol. That is still very legal. It's still very heavily taxed. And there are establishments that I can see from my window here where I can go in right now and get just hammered blotto down. None of that, what you just said, none of it changes what I said. Well, DUI is a big money-making business too. Absolutely. The fines are astronomical. Absolutely they are. But we're not saying... We're not advocating DUIs. Yeah, and we're not in any way saying, you know, hey guys, it's kind of good for our country. Those DUIs really make us a lot of money. What about the guy who killed somebody that's on Vicodin? I mean, that happens too. It does happen. It absolutely happens. But you know what we haven't done? We haven't legalized Vicodin. But yes, it is. You can still get a prescription for it. That's what Wood's saying. That's what I'm saying, man. You can get a prescription for weed. Let me ask you this. What he's talking about is you walk into CVS and you're 18 years or older and you're like, I'll take a pack of skunk and give me a pack of panda. All right? And this is legal joints. All right? We don't have that right now with prescription drugs. I'd be pro that too. I'd be pro that as well. And like I said, one death.
All it's going to take is one tearful death of somebody that was wiped out that way. And what they will call into question and what will come under the microscope and what will be spotlighted and highlighted and looked at is the fact that this happened and it was legal. And it'll be somebody saying, why did we legalize this? Hey, same bit back in the 30s. There would have been people saying. Why are we legalizing this? Money, man. Yes, money for those companies. Hey, listen, Anheuser-Busch isn't making the United States of America so much. Look at where we are. We're jacked. Look at our economy. You guys are suggesting, like, yeah, we should legalize pot, and then maybe we'll get out of this mess we're in. I mean, are you? I'm telling you, dude. I am telling you. It is a cash crop for the United States of America. If the government regulated it, taxed it, and sold it, Dude, are you honestly telling me that it wouldn't make a dent? Let's say we keep a lot of people out of prison. No. You're telling me it wouldn't make a dent? Any amount of money we're spending to fight it, to keep it out of the country? The people that are dying? What's the cost? The cost is some stoned people. And some people are all right with that. Some people are all right with some stoned people. I'm not okay. Listen, man. They're there anyway. I know that they're there. I know they're there. There'll be more.
There'll be more. I don't know how there could be more. Well, I'll tell you how there'll be more. Access. Access. You could walk out on the street right outside this building, and I guarantee you could find somebody to get weed from. It is everywhere. It's everywhere. Are you looking, Jay? I'm not looking, but I know that it's prevalent. I can tell you about a guy. I know that it's prevalent. And it isn't even one quarter. As prevalent as it will be when you can just walk into seven. Imagine this. Imagine if you wanted a Marlboro, you had to find a guy. You could find him. Yeah. Now, I'll tell you this. I don't know where to find a guy to buy pot. I know more people that smoke pot than smoke cigarettes. Fine. That's true. The bottom line. Wait, that's fine. You can. All I'm telling you is, is that if I wanted to buy weed today. I wouldn't know where to go. If I wanted to buy weed when it was legalized, I don't have to ask anybody. I can go to CVS. I can go to blah, blah, blah. The reason I made that statement is because I thought about alcohol and I thought about my personal problems with alcohol that I've had in the past. It's less harmful to you than something that is already legal that you can buy in a liquor store. It's less harmful.
It's less harmful. That's the bottom line. It's less harmful. M1 sex crazed from Hillcrest. Please be a girl. Hello? Hi. What's up? How are you guys? Good. Go ahead. There's been clinical studies done on the effects of marijuana and driving, and it is not like alcohol at all. Yes, it is. That's BS. That's BS. That is not... True. I've tested both. Yes, I have too. I'm not advocating it again, but I've done both. It's not true. I have too, and it jacks you up when you drive. It impairs you. It's period. It's true. I don't care. It impairs you. It can be different than... Listen.
That's why the side of a Vicodin bottle says don't drive when you're on this. Do people do it? Yes. It doesn't make it good. My bottom line, the base of my argument is it's less harmful and it eliminates some very nasty stuff from our country. It's less harmful. It's less harmful and less addictive than something that you can buy in a store today. Before long, you'll have no choice. It'll be legal. So there's a guy that has, let's say he has a bad back or he's got glaucoma and he's smoking a joint and driving, which is legal because he got it prescribed and he kills somebody. It's the same thing. No, it isn't. It's the same thing. So he's off the hook because it was prescribed? No, he isn't. He's not off the hook. Just like the guy that got into an accident with legalized alcohol isn't off the hook. Right. It doesn't mean they're off the hook. Right, but you're saying all it would take would be one. For the world to say, I told you so. Well, we've had plenty of people die and the world hasn't said, I told you so. Right. And that's because, here's the thing that we don't know. Here's the big mystery. We don't know. You have a guess. Yeah, we can take guesses. Would more people smoke marijuana if we legalized it? Yes. Or would the same amount smoke it? More. More. More would smoke it. More. Definitely, definitely more.
I say that sucks. Why? Why do I say it sucks that more people are doing drugs? Well, you can call anything drugs. Alcohol is a drug. I know. Nicotine is a drug. Caffeine is a drug. You're not going to talk me into how any of these things are great. The argument that I'm hearing back is, eh, people do it anyway. That's not my argument at all. That's not my argument. My argument is it's less harmful for you than something that you can buy in a store today. has probably, I would say unequivocally, ruined a lot less lives than the bottle has. I agree. Unequivocally. I agree. And it has positive side effects. And it does have positive side effects. What are the positive side effects of alcohol? Right. There's none. There's zero. Sure there is. There have been countless studies on wine, but in moderation. Just like anything in moderation. Absolutely. Anything in moderation. It even says that in the Bible. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Mike, I can do heroin as long as it's in moderation. I don't think you can do that in moderation. Hey, Mike. Hey, Mike. Why don't you tell me what verse does it says? In moderation, everything's good, ain't it? Your guide told me to eat, drink, and be merry. Yep, there you go. I'm doing it. Smoke some weed. Smoke it up, Johnny. Yeah, I have completely changed my view on it because I started to really think about it. Welcome over. I'm not. You're not going to find me sitting in my backyard smoking a joint, aren't we? If it's legal, maybe. But here's the deal. You probably would. If it was legal? Yeah. Yeah, I probably would. I think that's filthy, George. Why? I'll tell you why. Why? Because it wouldn't be long before somebody like you or somebody like me, if I started smoking weed, it wouldn't be long before I was like, I want a drink, man. Or it's just bad.
I think if you have an addictive personality like you do, you don't get to be able to do the things everybody else can do. I agree. Because alcohol is legal and you don't do it. You are not. Okay. You're not an addict, Jay. But the problem is that people like me exist and they can kill your family because we're stupid. Okay? Because we exist. But you could do it anyway. I know. You could fall off the wagon. All it would take, again, imagine one of your family members dying. Because it was legalized and a bunch of 17, 18-year-olds that just, they'd never even, and the story comes out and says they'd never tried it before. Right. But it was legal and they thought they wanted to get high. And it was the first time they ever got high. And they killed a couple of members of your family. And you would go, well, I still think it's a good idea to have this thing be legal. I would because life is a chance and it's a risk you take in life. And there's use and there's abuse. So I try, this is me. I try to, as best I can, keep it as safe as I can be. Sure. I'm not, you know, things that are already legal, they're legal. In fact, I'd be more for making booze illegal before I'd be for making pot legal. Well, yeah, you're not going to wipe out, you can't wipe out anything. But if you had, okay, let's say it was on the table. Mike Esparza, you're the decision maker for the United States of America. One of these has got to be legal. Which one is it, pot or booze? Well, that's...
Hey, Woodsy, you're responsible. Martians or Venetians from Venus? Well, no, these two actually exist. That's crazy. But they actually exist. They're real things. Yeah, but why would I ever be voting on two bad things? You're giving me the decision of two bad things. Would you rather? Yeah, would you rather, Mike? Would I rather have alcohol or booze? Outlaw booze. I'd outlaw booze. Yeah. I think it'd save more lives. I think you would, too. Mike's a stoner. But what that doesn't equal is that... That pot is good. And I'm not saying that, man. I'm saying it may be better. Bold statement. I believe it's less harmful. I believe it is, too. I believe it's less harmful. I also believe it's bad. I think anything done in excess is also bad. Kids, wait till you're an adult. When you're 18. Maybe for your kid's 18th birthday, you take him out for a good joint. I don't think I'll have to. Well, make it 21. Make it 21. Take your kid out for a nice cocktail. Take him to Vegas. Hey, Melissa, your mother and I know that it's your 21st birthday, and we thought it would be fun to take you out for your first stoning. Well, you know it won't. You're going to get stoned for the first time. Mom and I, we'd like to go to Vegas and get you stoned. Well, you know what happens? She'll be in her room eating Doritos watching 40-Year-Old Virgin instead of downstairs banging some guy. I'm telling you.
Is that something worth adding to the Mikey show? Thanks, Nostradamus. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. No. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. There he is, the Prince of Canada. Mikey. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is back with better availability than Honda or Toyota. Can save now. Get the bottom line with 0% APR financing on Altima. Or get $1,500 cash back on Sentra. Get bottom line prices like 0% on the reliable Altima. Or $1,500 back on the roomy Sentra. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars, great offers, equals more savings.
And that's the bottom line. This event ends August 31st. Hurry in today. Financing for 60 months, $16.67 per month per thousand borrowed. Cash back when purchased from new dealer stock. Call 1-888-858-8319 for offering inventory details. Ends 831-11. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Deep does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Three-pack Sharpie accent highlighters, just 50 cents. Eraser just one cent. One subject notebook, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Expires 827, limit three for offer. I'm at an outdoor concert, and I'm stuck on blanket duty. Are those seats taken? Oh, yeah, someone's sitting there.
I'm waiting for my friends to bring me back a Coke from concessions. Hey, can we sit here? Sorry, occupied. Anyway, it's really hot, and I'm really thirsty, and it's kind of hard work fending off all these people. Hey, is this seat taken? Sorry. Oh, you've got a Coke. Well, pull up some blanket. Let's crack that open. Uh, could I sit down? I've got a Coke, too. Yes, and yes. Sit down. Hey, we're back with the Coke. Um, who are these people on our blanket? Uh, they had Coke. Figured we could squish? Every precious moment of summertime should be enjoyed down to the very last drop, just like a refreshing Coca-Cola. So grab your friends and grab a 12-pack of Coke for just four for $11 at Ralph's, at the beach, the mall, the game, or whatever. When you're out enjoying all the fun that summer has to offer, stay refreshed with an ice-cold Coke. Coca-Cola, open happiness. Summer might be ending, but at Vaughn's, it's a great time to start eating summertime favorites the open nature way.
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I just passed you. Yeah, that was me. I'm the tall, angry guy next to my car. I'll be right there. I'll buy you lunch. For some peace of mind, test drive a 3 Series at a BMW center today. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, enjoy incredible lease and finance offers of the BMW 320i sedan. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. I'm Samantha. I'm a fresh and easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer. Not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. I'm always looking for savings and wanting to eat healthy foods. I feel good about no artificial colors, no artificial flavors with the Fresh N' Easy products. And it's high quality and it's also affordable. Thanks, Fresh N' Easy. Thanks, Samantha. Now everyone can save on fresh peaches, nectarines, or plums. Hand selected, you'll enjoy two-pound packs for just 98 cents each. Hey, it's Mikey for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Everyone thinks it's good.
shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of Balboa and Convoy and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done. As long as the sun keeps shining. Online at sunglassoptical.com. Life's better with baseball. Look, it's a fact that a really impressive pitcher needs to understand the engineering and aerodynamic principles at work while a baseball is in flight. I mean, trajectory, rotational forces, the dynamics of turbulent airflow. It's crazy. So that's when you turn to Scanalysis for laser-sharp insight and postgame analysis. Bob Scanlon, only on the Saquon Casino Postgame Show. The Padres are on the road, live from San Francisco, 7 p.m. Tuesday. From the remotest corners of East County. to the splendor of the silver strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego.
The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event with impressive values on the most popular Lexus models. Now through September 6th. See your Lexus dealer. This report, it's brought to you by Big O Tires. At Big O Tires, get 14-inch tires from $55 each, 15-inch tires from $65 each, or 16-inch tires from $75 each. Those brands may vary. See a participating Big O Tire for details. Looks like the 78 westbound Emerald Drive and injury accident in the center divider. Also some backup here on the 5 northbound between Genesee Avenue and the 56. Heading on to the 15 southbound between the 78 Felicita Road and Escondido. That's pretty slow this morning. This report brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks. And now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from that. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show live in the studio today. Woods just said something that I thought.
What's crazy, now I agree that this guy is incredible, but it still shocked me that you said this. Woodsy says, it's game day. I got to pick one guy. You're going to go with 88, the playmaker, over Jerry Rice, number 80. Yes, sir. I've never seen a wide receiver want the ball more than 88, ever. Never. And want it and get it done. Dude. I love Jerry Rice. I love Jerry Rice. And I know the numbers and this and that. But I grew up watching 88. And dude, the guy had his demons. Everybody knows about it. Kind of part of the reason I like him. But the guy was on Sunday. And Troy Aikman said he has never seen anybody that practiced harder than that guy. Except for Jerry Rice. We'll see. No, Jerry, honestly, that was his bit. Yeah.
His bit was the Jerry Rice regimen and can guys keep up with it and 4% body fat and 950 billion touchdowns and 950 billion yards. And Mike's career got cut short because of those dirtbag eagles that broke his neck and then cheered for him. I think they did. Hey, listen, man. Playmaker, he's awesome. The best. But I'll tell you. If I'm building a team, that's my number one receiver. Jerry Rice would be my number two. That is so trippy to me. Hey, what are you going to do? Just stew over it. That's what I'm going to do. You can stew over it. He's partial. Don't listen to him. I am, too. I am, too. I am. I grew up a 49er fan. Woodsy grew up a Dallas Cowboy fan. But I'm just like, oh, my gosh, we're sitting there. We're doing a we got a bunch of dudes in front of us. We got Marvin Harrison. Yeah, we got Lin Swan. We got all these dudes.
And Woods draws the number one pick. He goes, hey, Michael, 88. Come here. Come on. You get 80. And I got the second pick. And we'll match up. And I go, hey, Jerry, my friend Woods is blind. He didn't know you were here. 88, baby, all day. Watching that guy on the sidelines, he was, when they won those three Super Bowls, he was the heart and soul of that team. Period. Vocal. Nasty. Mean. I don't care about any of that. I just care about touchdowns. Across the middle. Touchdowns. Great. Touchdowns. He was across the middle. Guy was afraid of no one. Loved him, dude. That's the kind of guy I like on my squad. And hey, Jerry Rice was great. I mean, he was dying. Probably the best. Well, yeah. I mean, when you say great, do you mean like the best of all time? Yes. Yes. But I take 88 over him. Listen, Woods. This is the playmaker Michael Harvey, man. I know who you are. I love you. I love you too, man. But listen, think with your head. I'm thinking with my head. I want you on Sunday, pal. Listen, I got to talk you out of this, man. No, you do not. You're the best. Don't pick me, man. Don't think with your heart. Hey, Michael, it's Jerry Rice. How are you? Michael, you were a hell of a competitor, and I was a hell of a competitor, and I think everybody wins in this case. Jerry.
I got to ask you a question just between me and you. Okay. When did you become Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods became me. Okay. Yes. Well, listen, man. The reason, Woods, you shouldn't pick me is because I would snort the 50-yard line. Which is fine. As long as you catch touchdowns on Sunday, I don't care. That's fine, man. But I'm just telling you. Don't pick me, man. Don't pick me. I love the Playmaker, by the way. Oh, my God. I love him so much. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. Our phone screener is Chris. That's Chris. Thank you to... They were voted best sub across America, ladies and gentlemen. I believe it. How about that? Every individual sub is sliced fresh right in front of you. High-quality name-brand meats and cheeses. Authentic East Coast-style subs. And they got a new location open right now in the college area. I'm talking about Jersey Mike's. Mission Valley, Point Loma, Mira Mesa, and now by SDSU.
This email says, hey, Mikey, I'm one of the few women who work at my company. The other day, my male boss and I went out to lunch to discuss how things are going at work. The lunch was very professional until the end. Wiener time. When he ordered a piece of cake and told the waitress that we would share it because the slice was so big. Isn't sharing a dessert a romantic thing? Was my boss making a pass at me? Shouldn't he have ordered two separate desserts? M1D. Aren't we taking things a little bit too seriously and far if we think that because a guy wanted to share a dessert, he wants to have sexual intercourse? No. I mean, he probably does, but... He wants to make sex to her. He wants to make sex to her. But that doesn't mean that. He wanted to have sex with her before they ordered the dessert.
But sharing a dessert is very intimate. No, I disagree. It's cheap. May I throw up a little bit of a devil's advocate? Sure. What if the person's like Jay and they're cheap and they don't want to pay for two desserts? Well, not only am I cheap, but I also am not wasteful. I would eat a whole dessert, like a big lava, you know, whatever cake. But you take it home and get it to your kids. It's just easier to share it. Would you openly and willingly tell your wife, Kim, that you share? Absolutely. I mean, if I was feeding it to her, the girl, oh, you got to try this. Mac, do you know how many desserts I've shared with co-working ladies? Do you have any idea? I wouldn't share a dessert with any of you. You wouldn't? No. You make me so sad and monstrous. I don't want your germs. I could see you going, I'm just going to have a taste and get in the corner of it where nobody's had a bite yet. I don't know about that.
Maybe where no one's taking a bite. It bothers me that she will not share a dessert with us. I'm a little mad. I didn't care, but when she said it, I had never thought about it, but when she said it, I'm like, you won't share dessert with me? Don't force your dessert on me. We're not. We're not forcing it. No means no. Oh my gosh. It's not like when you grab your fork, I'm going to reach over and I'm going to, with my index finger, rub your index finger. But your mouth has been on the fork. We have two forks. Two forks, one cake. I know that movie. There's a piece of cake. There's your fork. Here's mine. You work that in. I work this in. That's not creepy. That's a date. We're friends. We work together. You've seen my butt crack before. I have not. I've been fortunate enough to avoid the front and the back. Aren't you friends? Yeah. So what's the big whoop? You're friends. No, it's intimate. It's weird. I agree that it's intimate with like a boss and employee, but not us. We're like family. No, she does not. No, no, no. She doesn't. This is Lauren O'Brien speaking. No, no, no. You are not family. No, I wouldn't share a dessert with my brother. That's weird. We're different than your brother. Why? Because we're not family and we're not yet a woman.
Aren't you? As I said, the first one's free, the next one goes in your mouth. Come on. Everybody's just lighting up. Well, he's either cheap or he's a creep. He's a cheap creep. He's a cheap creep. I think, yeah. And he could also have a very low social IQ. And because he's got a low social IQ, he doesn't even realize that that's an intimate thing to do and an inappropriate thing to do. In his mind, it's like, yeah. What if you took a knife, Lauren, and cut it and put it on another plate? That would be good. Okay. I would do that. Well, yeah. It's also polar opposite of what this situation is. It's the polar opposite. At that point. If I know you, like if you work for me long enough, if we just met, then no, I wouldn't share a dessert. But if we'd worked together for a month and all of a sudden I was like, okay, we know each other. It's like you're my... A month. Yeah, a month. Plenty of time to get together. Yeah, it's like forever. Yeah.
I'll share underpants with you at that point. I don't care. I'll share everything. Wasn't I touched tongue, so I think that's true. After like two weeks. You guys are different kind of heroes. Yeah, just a different breed, I guess. My wife was upset because another woman took food off my plate. Like, swirled her fork in my plate and took a bite of food. So what would my wife think if I shared a piece of cake with someone? Yeah, you and some sales girl go out for a meeting and then you guys share a piece of pie? I don't think so. Your wife wouldn't care if you shared with Lauren. Maybe. Wouldn't she? You guys just pie a la mode-ing it up real good? She wouldn't care. Listen, let's just say what everyone's thinking. If a woman...
were very unattractive, no wife would care. Yeah, exactly. She wouldn't care. Knock yourself out. If she was a deuce and a half, she would even make a joke that, hey, I'm surprised you got any at all. Yeah. But if a girl is good looking, it doesn't matter if she has AIDS. Your wife is not down with it. Babe, I'm not going to make sex to her. Girl's got AIDS for crying out. And we're married, so who cares? I don't care. Don't share a cake with her. I have no business sharing no cake with no girl. L.O.B. would slit her boyfriend Matt Commerce's throat off. Right off. He would bleed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all she would say as it was happening is, you should have known better. Yeah. I told you. That's right. You didn't do that again? I would have taken the fork and cut instead of the knife. Yes. So that it would be more jagged. So it was more jagged. Jammed it in his jugular. Let's listen to L.O.B.
singing during commercials. What is wrong with you? That is off the air. She did not know she was being tape recorded. How about this one? I miss the Reagan O'Reilly O'Reilly You know? Now it's, oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly. There's a slight difference. Every break for a year and a half. Oh, yeah. 340 some odd shows. I know all of them. Oh, my God. Auto parts. Every day. Every day. Every break. That's what we hear off the air.
570-1949. You can give us a call if you want to talk to us about what you think about the boss sharing the cake and all that stuff. By the way, there's a couple that has now officially gone in the books as the biggest cat hoarding couple in the country ever. Happened in Florida. And it broke the U.S. record for cat hoarding. Weird that it happened in Florida. Congratulations. We have a live studio audience. Would anybody like to take a guess at how many cats? Higher. Somebody said 100. Higher. Way higher. Higher. No, not way higher. Higher. How much? Higher. Nope. Lower. 697 cats. Wow. In the house. That's a lot of litter box. That's a lot of poo. 65-year-old Steve Lefkowitz and his wife, 59-year-old Penny Lefkowitz, they were caught with 697 cats earlier this summer. Furry and brown. 697. And for some reason, one rooster. Wake everybody up in the morning. That's right.
47 counts of felony, animal cruelty because of that many. What I don't understand is, how do you even get them? How do you get that many? You find them, you trap them, you grab them. Once you start putting food out, all the cats in the neighborhood start telling other cats and then you become the place. It seems to me like it would be hard to find 697 rocks. Yeah, seriously. It'd take you a week. It'd take you a while to get 697 rocks. Cats live... A long time. They probably started reproducing, too. They found a couple that have kittens, and just bam. All of a sudden, you're making your own. Yep. That's hideous. Absolutely. Oh, man. Can you imagine the smell in that home? Just walk in immediately. It hits you like a turd. I don't know what it is about cat wee-wee, but there's something about a cat. It's the worst. It's the absolute worst. I finally broke Kim down. She wants to get a kitten. Are you doing it? Yeah, we're going to get a kitten. Are you really? Yeah, we've got to find somebody with kittens, though. Wait, you broke her down because you want one or she wants one? I want a kitten. I want a cat. Nice beaver. Yeah. Why, Jay? Because they're good. They keep the rodents down. That's... Jay, it's for real. That's not why. He wants to cuddle. He wants to cuddle. I do like to cuddle a cat. He's trying to make it seem like... Yeah, yeah, it's practical. It's practical. Please, you want to love on it. Yeah.
Last year in my garden, I trapped 16 rats. That's great. We ate them, but they were good eating. That's great, Jay. But don't try to pass it off that you're trying to rid yourself of a rodent problem. The bottom line is you have a lot in common. Get a little cat play. You have a lot in common with a 22-year-old female that just bought a condo. And he wants to be able to go home and go... You don't want a cat. You want a kid. I want to start off young so I can train it. Yeah, right. I'm going to break that son of a bitch. I'm telling you, I'm going to break him. He's going to feed it out of a saucer and be like... No pets for us, man. We will not have pets. You need to get a dog for your boys. You need a dog. Hey, dude, the bottom line with a dog is you got to walk them and stuff. And I'm not going to do something that I'm not willing to do. And I think that's responsible. Yeah, I'm not willing to walk. You're not going to do something that you're not willing to do. Walk. That's true. Woodsy, when do you walk your dogs? I don't. I don't need to. And scene. Why do I need to walk my dogs? Because they like to be walked. I have a giant backyard. They can come and go as they please. They run around there all day long. There's no need to walk a dog unless you live in an apartment. There's totally need to walk the dog. No, there's not. Yes. No. They need to exercise. They exercise in the backyard. You need to exercise as well. It's an acre.
It is not an acre. That is not an acre. Is that an acre? It's a half acre, I bet. It's huge. I like when you say words and follow those words up with comma, I bet. I bet it is. I bet you it's a half acre at least. I bet you're wrong. It's huge. And they have free reign. They can come and go as they please. Are they outside right now? Yes. Oh. Because my brother-in-law Ryan's there. But normally? They're inside until I get home. Then they're outside all day. Dog police. Friday after work, I finished putting the last layer on Jasper's half pipe. Skate half pipe. I was going to say half pipe. He's just like his dad. That was it at my house. Turned into Skate Central. Finn, his friends, Liberty's boyfriend, some of my buddies came out.
Jay, just one of the teenagers. Just hanging out. Skated all weekend long. Oh, my God. Wait till he breaks his hip. More likely, you'll break yours first. Surfed on Friday and Saturday would. I wouldn't get on a skateboard, pal. He's just falling out of your chair. Yeah, I'd rather be surfing than skating any day. God. He ever self-gloss himself real good? Hey, just telling the truth. Yep. I didn't talk about my... My peewee baseball team that you play on. Grab a bat, my friend. By the way, I'm going to defend you. It's not peewee baseball. It's Adult Little League. It's not Little League. Hey, by the way, the kid that threw against us yesterday just got signed to a Division I scholarship. He'll be leaving next week to go pitch at Iowa.
So, yeah, a little bit different than skating on a half pipe. Is it? Yes, it is. I think I could fake my way through a baseball game. And I think I could fake my way through a half pipe. Oh, I challenge you to that. And I challenge you 100%. I skated more than two when I was 12. I want to see it. I skated like a madman when I was 12. But you realize you could not fake your way through a half pipe. You don't think I could stand on the board and drop it on a half pipe? I could. Oh, let's do this. Come over with it. 100%. Okay, then. Hold on. Hold on. You'll break something or sprain something. Hold on. Hold on. For sure. He comes to my game next Sunday in a Tipsy Crows outfit and takes four at-bats. Done. Well, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Done. Done. What are we? What's the goal? The goal. The goal is the gauntlet he just laid down. He will not hit a ball. Dude, he won't come close. He'll poo in his pants. But I'll stand there and I'll make a swing at it and everybody will go, God, good try, good try. Yeah, and I'll stand on the top and think, drop in, go up, go up. I want to see that. I want to see you drop in. And I want to see you in a uniform. I got to see this. We're going to make it happen. We're going to do it. Done deal. Make some noise in our lives for the audience. Think you got something worth adding to the Mikey Show? This is what they do. Number one. Text them.
At 949Mikey at gmail.com. If we have any children, please step out. Or call Mikey now. Are you trying to make this sound bad? Because it sounds great. 570-1949. More coming up. on FM 94.9. The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo's Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita and experience a taste so smooth it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Popular 2011. Imported and bottled by Food Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under licensed from the trademark home. Jose Cuervo. I'm one degree away from moving up. American Public University offers a quality online education. I'm one degree away from making myself more valuable. American Public University is affordable. I'm one degree away from learning more. American Public University has more than 75 undergraduate and graduate degrees. And I'm one click away from making it happen.
To learn more about one of the best values in online education, visit AmericanPublicUniversity.org. Selection is everything during Toyota's nationwide clearance event. Right now, Toyota dealerships have the summer's best inventory and the year's biggest deals on your favorite vehicles. Now, save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. It's the perfect time to save big on the Toyota car, truck, or SUV you've been waiting for. But you better hurry. Toyota's nationwide clearance event ends soon. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer before time runs out. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Offers may vary by region. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 9-6-11. This is Matthew showing his bank smartphone app to a friend. I can see my balances and a map of my banks close by. This is Patrick showing Chase's mobile app to a friend. I can check my balances, find a Chase branch close by, transfer funds, deposit a check using my smartphone. Matthew.
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For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, enjoy incredible lease and finance offers of the BMW 320i sedan. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Summer might be ending, but at Vaughn's, it's a great time to start eating summertime favorites the Open Nature way. Open Nature is the affordable line of natural products that meet the highest standards for natural. There's open nature sausages and chicken, open nature ice cream and yogurt. Now you can eat all natural all the time. Try open nature only at Vons. And savor the last days of summer with these Vons Club specials. Rancher's Reserve Whole Tri-Tip Roast Untrimmed is only $2.97 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. California-grown Platinum Super Sweet Corn is $10 for just $2. Stock up on juice with our Mix & Match Juice Jamboree. Get Welch's Grape Essentials for $1.99 each. Chilled Ocean Spray 100% Cranberry Juice for $2.49 each. Ten packs of Capri Sun for $1.49 each and many more. All when you buy three selected varieties. And flu shots are here. Get your flu shot at a Vons pharmacy. It's fast, easy, and you'll save 10% on your groceries. Vons, ingredients for life. Summer is a time to kick back and relax. Unless you're an engineer for Mercedes-Benz.
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It was usually like two discs to watch a movie. They were giant. Weren't they expensive as hell? Yeah, they were expensive. They were as big as a record player. It came with two discs when I got it, and I ended up selling the whole thing before I got any more discs. I was like, I'm out. What a pain. This one says, I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Does that have one? No, it doesn't. Freezers don't have lights. Why doesn't it? I beg to differ on that. No, they don't. My freezer doesn't. Your freezer shouldn't have a light in it. Weird. Woods is convinced it does. I'm pretty damn sure that because, hey, who goes to the freezer more for ice cream late night than this kid? It's true. He's got you there. So that is true. Is it a roll out bottom freezer? It's a freezer. You open the door. Yeah, but some are side by side. Some are at the bottom. Mine's a side. It's a side. I know what you mean. The pull out. This is.
Probably true. This next one. Again, adult truths. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with strong drink than Kay. Every kiss begins with strong drink. Not as ringy. Yeah, it didn't sound as good. I wish Google Maps had an avoid ghetto routing option. Slightly racist, but still funny. It's only racist if you think that the ghettos are somehow culturally bound. Yeah, Woods. Yeah, Woods. Wow, Woods. Just unbelievable. Just want to avoid a bad part of town. That's all we're saying. That's what I meant, too. So sorry.
What? I'm taking my clam hat off right now. I'm so sorry. All my black friends out there. Oh, well, if that's what you're talking about for a ghetto, then I want to go find the ghetto. Yes. Adult truth. How many times is it inappropriate to say what before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand what they said? Twice. What? It is so difficult. Especially, you know, my wife has a very... soft voice. And she'll go, and I'll go, what, hon? And she'll go, and I'll go, I can't hear you. What time? Oh, boy. I'm the D. I'm the jerk. I'm the jerk. My bad. Speak up, Helen Keller. Come on. Adult truth. I love the sense of camaraderie.
An entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in the front. Yes, me too. It's mean. It's not mean. No, that guy cutting everyone off is mean. Yeah, I do that. Cutter. I'm the cutter. Yeah, I know you are. I'm not letting you in. And I can give you a tip if you're a cutter too. No. Listen, at the end of the day. Nobody wants to get in an accident. You just stick your nose in there. Hey, be different ones. Somebody's going to let you in there. No, they're not. Don't be pushing. Somebody's going to let you in there. Just a strong line of cars. Nobody wants to. And here's the beauty, too. If you're the cutter and you're pulling in and somebody hits you, it's their fault. Why did you let him say that on the air? Because he's allowed. Here's the thing. I think to myself, I wish that I had a big sign that said, I am really, really sorry. I have a. I have a patience problem, and it's probably worse than yours. Yeah. It probably is. It probably is. Someday Woods, that's what's going to happen. Are you threatening him? Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Sometimes, and this has happened to me. I live in a fairly new city to me. I drive places that I don't usually go. I may miss where I'm going, and I'd like to get over. And sometimes it just happens. No. I'm going to admit it. 90% of the time.
I'm doing it because I don't want to wait in line. Happy birthday. Nobody wants to wait in line. Well, suck it. Here's an adult truth. Have some balls. Terrible. Here's an adult truth. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in their pocket or finding their cell phone, pitting a tail on a donkey. But I would bet that everyone can find and push. The snooze button from three feet away in 1.7 seconds. Eyes closed first time every time. Yep. And that's a true fact. That's a true statement. Mine is perfect arms distance from my bed. Perfect. The first testicular guard, the cup, was used in hockey in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1974. Insane. That means it took 100 years for men to realize their brains also important. And then lastly, shirts get dirty, underwear get dirty, pants, pants never get dirty. And you can basically wear them forever. Adult truth. Until you spill something on them and then you're forced. Then you're forced to. To wash them. Lauren O'Brien. Yes, every day. Hey, but until you spill something on them. Good to go. You're good to go. You know, 570-1949. I got an email for you. We could do that. And I would love.
for all the people in the studio to make a lot of noise because they're in here for Mikey's Show Live. If you want to come into Mikey's Show Live, all you've got to do is go to MikeyShow.com and let us know. It's the Mikey Show. The best. That's right. It's the best. You think you've got something worth adding? Are you going to be careful here with what you say? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What is it? The Vatican? Or text them at 949Mikey at gmail.com. I got people too, baby. More coming up on FM 94.9. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS top safety pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 mpg highway and available seating for up to 7, and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry-exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity? Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range, and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 25 mpg highway? Well, with the deals going on now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event,
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O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supplies, see store for details. This is the sound of Jim creating an online store for his business. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Access denied. What is this? This is David building his online store with Chase's new Instant Storefront. And move that over there. Jim. Oh, what did I just do? David. That was easy. Introducing Instant Storefront. An all-new e-commerce solution that gives small business owners everything they need to sell products online. And best of all, customer payments can be deposited into your Chase business checking account often on the next business day. So you can reach more customers and keep your cash flow flowing. Act now and try Instant Storefront free for three months. Visit chase.com slash storefront to get started. Instant Storefront. Take a step forward and chase what matters.
We should have bought rights to the word craftsmanship before it became so overused. Hired lawyers to protect it and keep it true. Like the true craftsmanship of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. With an all new world class interior, best in class 4x4 capability. and a powerful new 290 horsepower V6. Legally, we may not own the word craftsmanship, but Grand Cherokee continues to own what it stands for. Now get a great deal on the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event. Lease Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $2.99 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do it signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Visit your SoCal Jeep dealer. Based on automotive news segmentation, call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. No turn-in of current leases required. Take delivery by 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. He's the summer in Las Vegas.
Catch the return of Salim Dion or dive into pool parties at Ditch Fridays at Palms or Marquee Day Club at the Cosmopolitan. Enjoy concerts on the beach at Mandalay Bay. And when you work up an appetite, enjoy outdoor dining on the patio at Mona Miga, be it Paris. Get to Las Vegas and live the joy of summer before it's too late. Life is short. Summer is shorter. Start planning your getaway today at visitlasvegas.com. How do you make something as awesome as PlayStation 3 even more awesome? Easy. You make it just $249. PlayStation 3, the sweetest gaming console around, is now available at only $249. Think of it. Not only do you get to play the biggest and best games, including exclusives like Little Big Planet 2, Uncharted 3, and Resistance 3, you'll also get awesome features like Blu-ray. And you can instantly stream TV shows and movies from Netflix. And get free access to online gaming on the PlayStation Network. PlayStation 3, now only $249. $39, games rated E to M. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America.
Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding, so see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infiniti G25 Journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment, or get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details. For a limited time, enjoy financing as low as 0.9% on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your San Diego County BMW Center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. And now back to the Mikey Show. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods, the best movie ever made, Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. Let's hear it for Mikey Show Live. Chargers doing it yesterday in the preseason. Everybody looking real good, too. Yep. Hey, did you ever light your hands on fire because that's what Paul Stanley did in this video? No. Oh, I did. You did.
Hairspray, light him on fire because he does this. Oh, my gosh. I've done it. Did it. It's a pretty bad idea. It looks cool for a second, and then you're like, that's kind of hot. Yeah, that hurts. Oh, man. That hurts real bad. Yep. Tonight, it's the Bears and the Giants on ESPN, and that's a 5 o'clock game. Or as Jeremy Schaap would say, ESPN. You ever seen Jeremy Schaap? Oh, yeah. Let's see. Captain Dumbface at the helm tonight. Oh, wow. Newly single Captain Dumbface. Who? Jay Cutler. Newly single? Yeah, he broke off his engagement with one of the hottest pieces around. Kristen Cavallari. Good move. Woods tweeted Kristen his condolences. I just said hugs. You are wonderful. I love the Woods celeb tweet bit.
Such a good bit. I love it. Every once in a while, I'll just see it come up in my feed, and I'm like... Hugh Hefner, last week, wrote, think I'll do some scrapbooking today. I wrote Hugh Hefner. I said, Hef, if I were you, the last thing I'd be doing is scrapbooking, pal. That's all I said. I see it come up, and I just sniggle and shake my head. Oh, my gosh. Scrapbooking. You live in the Playboy Mansion. They got to do some scrapbooking. What the hell's the matter with you? Oh, wow. Woods, what is it with the celebrity? He loves it. I don't know. I'm hoping. One day. I'm hoping. One day Carrot Top is going to write you back. Somebody did. Somebody did. I can't remember. Do you guys remember? Somebody wrote me back and they like, oh, it was Louis Anderson. He's a B-level celebrity, but his dad is the manager for the White Sox. Oh, yeah? And he wrote me back. I was like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. It's like when you make a prank phone call and the guy actually answers. You're like, oh. I'm going to keep doing it until I get a real big one. I just picture him at home just, like, biting his fingernails being like, what am I going to do this? Yeah, I don't know.
Who am I going to take down today? It's a hack bit. I didn't take her down. I just told her hugs. Support. Hugs. Hey, look. She's going through a hard time. And she's going through her Twitter on her phone. She's at maybe a salon appointment and she's like, oh, Stephen Woods said hugs. Mikey Show Woods. What does that even mean? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know Mikey Show Woods, but that is the sweetest thing. He's hugging me. I wanted her to write back, thank you. Thank you. With a U, just a U. Just a U. With a maybe U. Maybe a smiley face. Maybe T-H-A-N-X. X. Thanks. I would have retweeted that like a son of a gun. You nerd. You can find any of us on Twitter. Mikey Show followed by our name.
Bill Clinton is now a vegan, full-fledged. Oh, wow. Full-fledged vegan. In 2004, he had quadruple bypass surgery. He used to eat pork by the truckload. Absolutely. Crapped in steak. So now no meat, no dairy, no eggs, almost no oil. Chances Miss Hillary had something to do with that. Did you say oral? No. But that is the way that you say oil. Earl. Hey, Mac, are you using vegetable oral? There's a big oral spill in the Gulf. In the Gulf. There's a big oral spill in the Gulf. What's the Gulf? The Gulf of Mexico. And then the other big news is that the trial has been set for the Kentucky doctor that accidentally amputated a man's penis.
This was a Kentucky guy that went in there for surgery. And the doctor maintains that he found cancer in the man's penis during the surgery and it had to be removed. So he was in there for getting his wisdom teeth taken out? Doctor just found it? Well, the patient says, I was in there for a circumcision. I didn't authorize removal. Removal. I've had a conversation before you. Wake me up. That's not like a pinky toe. You missed that. No, it isn't. It isn't like they go, hey, listen, we were operating on your lungs and we found something, so we removed it. Listen, doctor, I just woke up. I can't find my wiener.
Do you know where it is? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot to tell you about that. I took it off. Have you seen my wiener? What did you do with it? Well, we threw it out. It's cancer. It's got cancer in it. Can I see it? No. Can I talk to him a little more time? I just want to say goodbye. You have like a prosthetic for that? I want to say bye-bye. Don't just get rid of it without telling me anything. Yeah, so they're going through a big trial. And we'll see what happens with that. 570-1949 is our number. Woodsy, how was the Padres game with M1s and all that stuff? We had a blast until something gnarly happened. What happened? We're sitting there. We're on the first base side. We're about 15 rows from the field. Phenomenal seats. Jason Bartlett, shortstop, comes up. Fouls one off. A screamer.
hits a dude in the row behind us, hits him in the face, hit him in the eye. Oh, gosh. His eye, the glass, he was wearing glasses, so the lens popped out, blood pouring. He's holding his eye like this. Hits off his face, smokes my shoulder, hits me in the shoulder, and then lands in this dude's lap. I'm like, only me, right? I just want to go to a ball game. Oh, my gosh, dude. So this is wild. So they come down, and we're all in the row behind us. We're looking for the lens. Yeah. and can't find it, can't find it. About 20 minutes later, this lady goes... She goes, I found the lens. It's in my beer. It was in her freaking beer cup, dude. And she drank the whole thing with this bloody lens. The M1s that we were there, we were like... We couldn't believe it. You go, hey, it's iJuice. Ew. It's not that bad. It's IJU. They dragged this guy out. They took him to the hospital. And, I mean, this thing was no pop fly. It was a screamer. And, I mean, I was like, when they hit it, I was looking right at it. And, I mean, it was the row behind me, two seats down. Oh, my God. Bam, bam, bam. And then this guy caught it. The guy that caught it looked at me like.
Well, do you want it since you got smoked in the shoulder? Right. I was like, no, just keep it. What about the guy with the eye? He's long gone. Long gone. Maybe they can replace the eye with the baseball. I hope the guys are in it. It was gnarly. Gnarly. Hey, so, word of, ladies, I know you like to talk a lot. Go to a baseball game. Excuse me? Watch the freaking game because you're going to get hurt. But it was a guy that got hit. Yeah, I know. Why didn't you catch it? You know why he got hit? Because he heard this. Why didn't he take the trash out? I'm surprised you didn't catch it with one hand. Why didn't you reach out with your lightning fast reflexes? You're a ball player. Moving. He's on one today, Hillary. I'm a guy that would dive out of the way. Oh, I went for the ball. And then it hit his face and then hit my shoulder. It was insane. It was moving. People get killed by hockey pucks and stuff. Oh, yeah. And baseball. It's no joke. And baseball. Pay attention out there, people. Hillary, how are you? I'm doing great. How was your weekend? It was all right. It was just all right? We're moving. Yeah. And we're trying to... I know. That's enough said, right? Nothing more. You didn't take any balls to the face? No. Well, you know what? I'm not going to go there, Jay. That's a little personal. It's a married woman.
So, yeah, so we're fixing up the place before we move into it. Our plan was to move in this weekend, and we did not. We weren't able. So, yeah, it's a good time. Do you need me to come do any handiwork? Yes. Like I can do some wiring. Because you're good at that. Stuff like that. How about some heavy lifting? Refrigerator cleaned out before you move it. You know, here's the deal. I think that every person, I mean every person that's listening right now, at one time or another, has helped someone move. At one time or another, you have. And so that means that at one time or another, you've had to maneuver a dresser. That's it. I'm not even going to go any further than a dresser. I'll just say a dresser. Because a dresser causes enough stress to take five years off your life. A dresser. You know what else is the worst about the moving thing? The conversation of... Well, how should we... Lift up. No, you've got to go high, Mike, on your side, and then I'll come through. I'm going to come out, and then you... Three geniuses.