The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/23/11
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
weight doctorarmoire fixCoronado Mansion suicideDas Bootskateboarding half‑pipeBuzzword gameSexy or Mexy gameincorporator skate shop callBear Grylls imitationsuicide case discussionStephen Cooper injuryTerrell Pryor Raiders
Mikey opened the show with a self‑deprecating bit about helping the doctor weigh him to avoid embarrassment over his actual weight. The team then turned to a grim discussion of the Coronado Mansion suicide, before shifting to lighter fare with Woodsy’s plans to watch Das Boot and his first‑time attempt at skateboarding a half‑pipe. Throughout the broadcast they played word games—Buzzword (where Mikey solved ‘blue’) and Sexy or Mexy—and had Jay incorporate odd words into a fake skate‑shop call. Mikey also shared a quirky story about fixing his armoire while imitating Bear Grylls, rounding out an episode packed with personal anecdotes, stunts, and listener‑participation bits.
What happened, in order
Weight Doctor Bit
Mikey jokes about helping the doctor weigh him to avoid embarrassment over his actual weight.
Coronado Mansion Suicide
The crew discusses a woman found naked, bound and hung at the Spreckles Mansion, ruled a suicide linked to grief over a boy's accidental death.
Das Boot & Jodie Foster Reference
Woodsy plans to watch Das Boot while making a cryptic Jodie Foster comment that sparks a puzzle for the audience.
Buzzword – Blue
During the Buzzword game, Mikey correctly guesses the word 'blue' after clues like 'Blue Ridge Mountains' and 'NYPD Blue'.
Armoire Fix & Bear Grylls
Mikey tries to fix a stubborn armoire door with a thumbtack and string while narrating his actions in a Bear Grylls voice.
Incorporator Skate Shop Call
Jay must incorporate random listener words like 'discharge' and 'hummingbird' into a prank call to a skate shop, succeeding with comedic effect.
Woods Half‑Pipe Skate Attempt
Woodsy attempts to skateboard down a half‑pipe for the first time, repeatedly falling backward despite pads and a helmet.
Sexy or Mexy Game
L.O.B. reads Spanish phrases in a sexy voice and Mikey must decide if each is sexy or just Mexican, scoring points for correct answers.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsy (Stephen R. Woods)L.O.B. (Lauren O'Brien)JayChrisElla BRebeccaJesseKevin CollierStephen CooperTerrell PryorAl DavisDoug HutchinsonCourtney Stodden
35,823 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Tuesday? It's freezing cold. He's got on a poncho. True story. And he's trying to warm up under his poncho. Ella B's got her glasses on because her eyes are still red from the LASIK eye surgery. And I found out yesterday that I am way heavier than I thought I was. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Went to the doctor? Went to the doctor and had to get on a scale. Oh, boy. And, you know, I have a new bit. When I go to the doctor and they want to weigh me, I go, let me help you. Because what I hate is when they do the scale and they realize, hmm, I think I have to go to the next one because 100 pounds, I'm sliding the deal over there. He doesn't weigh 190. He weighs more. I've got to put it on 200 pounds. That big thick thing right over. Yeah, and so I just go, let me help you. All right. Let's go ahead and start there. I don't need the indignity of you figuring it out that I weigh more than $199, so I'll help you here. Anyway, I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Heavy set, but working on it. And Woodsy is our sports guy, and he's 36 years old. And L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She's 30. Let's see. Jay is...
48 years old, and he is our producer. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. It's Chris. And, by the way, word of the day-to-day captain. When you hear captain between now and 10, call her nine. You'll get $50 to Crossroads at the House of Blues. And basically what that is, they have an all-new menu. And it is created by Aaron Sanchez from the Food Network. Experience where food, music, and art intersect. So we'll give you 50 bucks to do that. Plus a pair of tickets to Arctic Monkeys with TV on the radio. September 24th, SDSU Open Air Theater. So there it is. Plus about a billion things are going to be happening on the show today. So you can call us. 570-1949.
Is the number if you want to give us a call. And you can also text if you're shy. Although you don't need to be shy. If you call in. We're very kind. We're very nice. We'll treat you kindly. And you'll get to hear Chris's sultry voice. Woods went to the doctor yesterday. The nurse practitioner guy. I thought to myself. If I could look like a dude. It would be this dude. Sharp guy. Bro. One of those deals where. Have you ever met a woman that is so good-looking that it's like staring at the sun? It's hard to look at? Yeah, I married her, pal. Oh, boy. What are you doing? Your Jay impression for me? I'm doing Jay. I married her. Well, the first time I saw and met Jamie, I thought that. I went, holy smokes. I could never get that. Got it. It's hard to take him seriously wearing a poncho. It is. True story. Well, this guy yesterday. He's basically the equivalent of the girl that was too hard to look at. So you're now bi-curious is what you want the audience to say. No, I'm not bi-curious. No, in fact, if I were bi-curious, I would hide this. Is there some sort of specialty where I could get sick and I could maybe go and be the judge? Yeah, I'll even tell people. The guy's name was Jesse, and he worked at Dr. Kumar's office. So if you need a...
L.O.B. is writing it down. So if you need a scope, a camera in your... Oh, that? Oh, no. Well, I didn't have that done. Endoscopy? Endoscopy. Well, they also do the one that goes down your throat, L.O.B. She'd be all about that. And goes into your stomach and studies your stomach. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, oh, boy, huh? Oh, boy. And Jay just getting right after it right away. She'd like that, Mike. No, you wrote me. My wife calls me an endoscoper. I haven't read it yet, Mikey. Did you write him a note? Yeah. Did you? Yeah. You're kidding. I said, listen, bro. Creep. Listen, creep. I said, listen. I said, I just, I, you know, it's the ferociousness of your dirty. Yeah.
Your dirty is like a pit bull dirty. It's a 68 Camaro barreling down the highway. Yeah, muted a little bit. Subtle. Instead of a pit bull, dial it back to like a Doberman Pinscher. Yeah, which is still good. It'll still get you, dude. It'll get you good. But just, if you can, bro. Just bring it. Where I am. I'm actually, this is me. That's him dialing it back. Dialing it back. Dialing it back. I just say, hey, you know, it makes me feel uncomfortable. And he says, yeah. You know, well, I figure he says, yeah. Because I know him well enough to know that he'd say, yeah. 570-1949 is the number. All right. So a couple of updates for you. First of all, the girl that had hung herself at the Coronado Mansion, the Spreckles Mansion in Coronado, officially they're calling it a suicide. Now, I don't know how a girl commits suicide by binding herself. And, you know, because she was found naked, bound and hung from the balcony. But they are saying that that's what they believe that she did. And they believe that it's likely.
That she was grief stricken over the accidental death of her boyfriend's son. Who died while I assume he was under her care in this mansion. Because they do know that the little boy died on Monday in an accident where he fell down the stairs. Presumably while she should be watching him. And then a few days later she killed herself. And they're saying. That's why. They're also saying that they're looking into her background and they're seeing some family, childhood trauma, that kind of stuff, which they think kind of lends itself to all of it. It's crazy. I know it is. I feel like there's something more, man. Why would you take your clothes off? Yes, yeah. I'm not moving into that mansion, I can tell you that much. It's a scary place. Oh, man. A little boy dies and then that. You could sell that place for a dollar. I would not have a problem moving into that house, by the way. I would in 100%. What? I thought you were scared of that kind of stuff. I believe there's spirits. Oh, I believe that that stuff exists, but I believe that the power inside of me is stronger than the...
power outside of me so you know like uh i know a dude who brought this uh uh spear back from uh an african tribe that he had gone to where he saw real demonic possession and they gave him a spear and a lot of people and he put it in his office it hangs over his wall in his office and a lot of people are like oh my gosh how could you have that thing And he's like, doesn't have any power over me. Doesn't have any power, you know. And that, you know, I really do think that's a deal. Doesn't change it from being spooky. I wouldn't want to live in a big gigantoid mansion like that where it's just so much space. For me, I'm only comfortable if there's enough space for what we need. If there's more space, I'm creeped out. Like that time I went to Lars Ulrich, the drummer from Metallica, went to his place. We went into a studio in his house. that he hadn't been in for two years. He hadn't been in there. Oh, my God. Two years. Two years. I mean, it was in a part of... His house was 13,000 square feet. No wonder that last record was terrible. What do you mean? I hadn't been in the studio in two years. You get down there and work, pal. Get in there every once in a while. This is great, man. I haven't been in here for two years. Maybe he was just big-timing you a little bit. No, I don't think he was, dude. It was dusty.
It was small. It wasn't like a big studio. It was a very tiny, small studio. And I believed him. I couldn't live in a house where I found out somebody had killed themselves and a little boy. I just couldn't. Every time I walked in the door, I'd go... And by law, they got to tell you. The realtor has to tell you. Even if it was a long time ago? No, they have to tell you. Even if it was a long time ago, I still couldn't do it. Well, anyway, that's the deal. And then the other thing is there's not going to be a grocery strike at least for a little bit. Stock up now. Maybe. They have another meeting arranged for August 29th for this grocery worker strike and stuff. They have a mediator and the mediator said, let's just hang on here. Just hang on and everybody chill out before we all start freaking out. There's not going to be a strike. You don't have to worry about it now. I'm not worried. You just said that you wanted food. Yeah, you wanted food. It's still open. You can go there today if you want to. We'll put you in the cart and you can ride around. Mike, calm down. Settle down. Those are sound clips. Of you. Of you. Tacos. They have all that stuff. It's all there. We'll get in there. You can get anything you like. Just relax. Good God. There you go.
Woods is watching Das Boot at my house today. Good luck. Call me up, Robert Harris. I want to talk to Robert Harris, who went on Woods' Facebook page yesterday and said, Just call me Jodie Foster. Whatever. What does that mean? You know what it means. Just figure it out. We'll tell you in the break if you don't get it. I'm trying to be more creative with some of my stuff. He's trying to be funny. but yet cryptic. And also disgusting. I'm sure everyone in the car gets it then, too. No, I think a lot of people understand that one. They get this one. Yeah. I feel like Jodie Foster. Listen, you're not, and you're... Two hours this thing is, right? Yes. Just don't let him put you on the pinball machine. See, I think people got it, Jay. They got it the first time. What? I think people pretty much... Well, I know L.O.B. L.O.B. did get it now. Yeah, only because Woods has said it before, yeah.
It didn't help that Jay took a 2x4 with the reference. Definitely drove it home. Could mean anything. Jodie Foster's been in a lot of movies. Mike doesn't have a pinball machine. She has been in a lot of movies. But only one with a pinball machine. Fill in the blanks, people. Figure that one out for yourself. I'm watching Das Boot today with Mike. Perfect. Lunch on you. We're going to stop somewhere nice. We're going to stop somewhere real nice and lunch is on you. Chipotle. The kid just doesn't put out without being bought. Yeah, you need to feed me. Yes. You know such special arrangements have been taken for this day. Have they really? Rebecca's already, my wife, has already set up our living room for movie viewing. Yes. She has arranged for the children to be in a different part of the home. So that they don't bug us. I would like to visit with them when I get there, though. I would like that. You know what else she did? We have a cleaning lady that comes on Tuesdays. We've arranged to have her come tomorrow. Holy cow. This is a big deal. It's a big date. It was a hot date. Hot date. Yeah. LLB, you know, you can try loving me.
Every once in a while. You're more than welcome to come over and watch it with us. I'm done hearing about your guys' movie dates. Do you know how happy you would make me if you came there today? And I know this right now. There's not enough hay and alfalfa in the world. Kale. There's not enough kale. There's not enough organic compost that I could give you. There's not enough cash in your wallet. that you could give her to go over and hang out with us after work. My wife, as a joke, will often say to me, I love you more than you love me. She'll say that like that's one of our little things. When I say that I love L.O.B. more than she loves me, it's the most drastic understatement. It is not. Holy cow. It is not. I care about L.O.B. on a scale of 1 to 10. I care about her to 12. Yeah. She cares about me at about four and a half. Four and three quarters. Just stop it. Four and three quarters. Maybe four. Even four. Why? Because I don't humor you with your little movie dates that you guys have? Can't you just come over and watch it? I was never even invited in until ten seconds ago. Well, because I called her this morning.
My phone was off. I can't get her. He had to call me to tell you to call him. Dude, I got to get a telegraph to say, will LLB call me? My phone was off and in my purse, and I was jamming out the smashing pumpkins in my car. So what do you want from me? A callback, you know, or just an acknowledgement of my existence. I called you back. FaceTime once a month. Every once in a while, just saying, Mike, you're my friend. I love you, all right? I will make an effort to do this. Love you, pal. So the police have said that. That big shootout that happened the other day in El Cajon? Yep. They found two bodies in that house. They think one of them is the moron that started the whole thing. Excuse me. What was the guy's name? Kevin Collier. He's a 32-year-old dude and a coward who killed his mother-in-law and also killed his own child. Did you see his wife? She's beautiful. A soon-to-be ex-wife, I guess. Well, there was an impending divorce. That's what they think started the whole thing. She's gorgeous. Oh, my God. He killed their child, her mom. Oh, what a piece of ass, man. Oh, I know, man. I'm telling you, this story just kills you. It just kills you. And shot a cop, right? And shot a cop. Dirtbag. What it does, man, it reinforces that thought that the brain gets to a point where it's gone past. There's nothing you can do. It's past normal. It's past normal, and it's just in this state of...
cuckoo, and you can't stop it. Bro, I think I've been in that state before, and you talk yourself down from the ledge. You know what I'm saying? I think I've been to that place where I'm like, hey, man, everything sucks right now. You know what I mean? And you talk yourself out of it. Speaking of, Woodsy, you randomly just reminded me there's a new movie coming out that I think you might be into called The Ledge, and it's about a guy that's standing on a ledge, and Cuba Gooding Jr. is, or excuse me, not Cuba Gooding Jr., Terrence Howard. Love that guy. I love you. That guy is freaking sharp, man. Not just sharp, but just a badass. Just cool, cool. Cool. That guy is cool, man. And they show a scene where he's a hostage negotiator and a talker downer. Yeah, talker downer. That's actually what they call it. It's a TD. You've got to go to talker downer college. It's a TD. But it's usually Denzel Washington. Yeah, that's true. Yes, but Denzel was busy that day. Yes. So they called Terrence Howard.
B team, but still great. Hey, dude. I'm almost going lateral play there. I'm with you. I'm with you. They're even playing field. But dude is, in the preview, dude's standing on the ledge. White dude? White dude. Guaranteed. Of course. Only white dudes jump up. Only white guys jump. So Terrence Howard looks out the window, and the guy looks at him and he goes, you a cop? Terrence Howard goes, yes, I am. And just in that... I'm like, how cool is that? I love it. I'm already in. I haven't seen anything, and I want to see it. And the plot of the movie is that he's having an affair with Liv Tyler, and Liv Tyler's husband has her hostage and says, if you don't jump at noon, she's dead. Holy smokes. And so Terrence Howard is trying to talk this guy down, and the guy's like, you don't understand. I have to. I got to do this. I love her and I have to do it. How amazing. Can we go one Friday after the show to the movie theater? That sounds awesome. Terrence Howard just looks so good in it though, man. He just looks so great. You ever see Hustle and Flow? Yes. Gosh, he's good, dude. He's good. Okay, so this is David Letterman. Don't know if you are aware of it, but he was, the FBI had to get involved because there was a militant Muslim group.
that said they were going to kill him. And so he was on last night, and he was making jokes about it last night. Of course. Typical Letterman style. You know, and by the way, thank you very much for being here tonight. We have great audiences night in and night out, but tonight especially. It means a lot to me. Tonight, you people are more, to me honestly, more than an audience tonight. Really. More than an audience. You're more like a human shield. Keep making jokes. Funny, guys. Really freaking funny. You laugh now, don't you? I'm so sorry. I'm a little late coming out. Backstage, I was talking to the guy from CBS. We were going through the CBS life insurance policy to see if I was covered for jihad. Oh, wow. That's funny, Joey.
You live in Connecticut, right? Yes, Connecticut, drive a Ferrari. Yeah, Ferrari. A guy, a radical extremist, threatened to cut my tongue out. I wish I had a nickel. For every time a guy has threatened to cut... That's pretty good, actually. I think the first time was during the Academy Awards. Right, I think. Oh, he is terrible. You're in the Academy Awards. But they say the guy, there's a threat. It's what they call a fatwa. I have a fatwa on me. Fatwa. Fatwa. Fatwa. They say the guy that issued the fatwa is an internet jihadist. Internet jihadist. And I said, well, heck, who says Obama isn't creating jobs? Right there. Right there. You are so freaking funny. Nice gap in your tooth. Maybe you see orthodontists on your money at some point. You say, hey, maybe I make a point.
I can't see too well. Is that Mad Magazine over there? Is that Sanjay Bernhardt sitting looking at me? You spit watermelon seed between those? Yeah, that's right. What are you, Michael Strahan or something? Oh, such a funny man. Very funny. Mr. Funny Man. He's the late night funny guy. 570-1949 is the number. If you want to give us a call. And, Woodsy, tell me about the bad news in Charger camp. Well, there is some bad news in Charger camp. It was interesting. We were all excited last week when the Chargers re-signed linebacker Stephen Cooper, only to have him tear his bicep muscle, which has to be one of the most painful things ever out for the year. Done for the season, and they're saying... probably will never play for the Chargers. Are you? That stinks, dude. That's what they're saying in the paper. He was good, man. Coop's good. Dude, he had the big hit that forced the fumble last week against Dallas. The other big thing with him is that he was really going to help get some of the younger guys up to speed. He was really going to be a mentor and nickel player and things like that. But yeah, he's out, man. He's out. And then what's the deal with...
Pryor, the kid from Ohio State? Yeah, so we had told you earlier in the year about Terrell Pryor. He left school under investigation for taking illegal benefits. And, man, at that point, we didn't know what was going to happen to him. So they finally let him in the supplemental draft, and he did get selected yesterday by guess who? Your friend and mine, Al. Davis and the Oakland Raiders. Terrell Pryor is an Oakland Raider. What better place? Woods said it, man. Woods says yesterday. He's like, it's like his bit now. That's his thing. I think Cal Davis does it so people are like, I think he does it to be crazy. Okay, listen. So listen to the guys they got on their roster for quarterback. They got Jason Campbell, burnout in D.C. They got Kyle Bowler, who was supposed to be the franchise guy in Baltimore. And they've got Trent Edwards, who was supposed to be the franchise guy in Kansas City and everywhere else he's played. So now they got Terrell Pryor. I mean, they got three washouts, and then this kid who, who knows, they're actually talking about possibly making him into a wide receiver there. Really? Because he's a big athletic kid. He ran a 4-4.
40-yard dash, 33-inch vertical jump. He's a big dude. Holy cow. 6'5", 238. Why wouldn't you? Yeah, not a bad idea. I don't think that guy's going to be playing quarterback. I know L.O.B. would in a heartbeat. L.O.B. jamming out to this. I'm burning in my loins right now. We know L.O.B. You don't have to say it. You know the old dude from the Green Mile that married the 16-year-old girl? Percy. Yeah, Percy. His name is Doug Hutchinson, and her name is Courtney Stodden. She's like 16, and he's like 52 or something. They were on television in Australia continuing to be creepy, and I have the audio of it next. And if I sit down, Mikey. Seriously, dude? Call Mikey now, 570-1949. And? Text him at 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Oh. Hi. Just wanted to let you know that some good stuff's going on with AT&T, including the AT&T Go phone. I'm talking about a $50 a month Go phone, and you don't have to worry about anything, okay? Here's what I mean. If you've got a cell phone, you may be racking up extra bills and extra charges and extra expenses and stuff like that, and then you get your bill and you flip out. With the Go phone, it's $50 a month, and it's unlimited.
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Well, it looks like still working on this pothole on the 163 northbound after the 8th. That left lane's closed until further notice. They have to fix it. 5 northbound before Oceanside Harbor Drive, an accident. There's a semi on the right shoulder. It was a hit and run. And some backup on the 805 southbound between the 5th, the north end, and University Avenue. It's in the 40s right now. This report brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at accounttempps.com, an equal opportunity employer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go. Woods, if 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. 8 o'clock this morning, you're going to hear the audio of Woods. who very boldly said to Jay yesterday that he could go down a half pipe easily. Yeah. I went down it. Yes, you did. I never said standing up, pal. We're going to have audio of it, 8 o'clock. Kid is bold. Word of the day is, Captain, when you hear me say that word between now and 10 and your caller 9, he's going to give you 50 bucks to Crossroads, the House of Blues, great food.
A pair of tickets to see Arctic Monkeys and TV on the radio September 24th at Open Air Theater. Buzzword coming up in a second. You want to play? Yes. Call us. 570-1949 if you want to play Buzzword. You have to pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. I'm hyped today. I'm telling you. I should have stopped playing this already, but I'm enjoying it. Can't. Can't do it. I'd like to make the video for this. I'd like to film the video for it. That's already been done. I know. It's already been done, but sometimes I hear songs and... I've never seen the video, so I have my own ideas. Explain. It would be a lot of out of focus, into focus, out of focus, and doing that thing where the camera shakes so it looks like the camera's vibrating really fast and then stops and comes into focus. Do you have a setting in mind? What's that? Do you have a setting in mind? Yes. It takes place on various floors of a building, so as the camera moves down...
They're on one floor, and that's a normal floor. Then the next floor is dilapidated and totally torn out. It's pretty freaking good, dude. And then it keeps moving until they're in the basement. I see your vision. That's pretty freaking good, dude. And the basement's completely water, and they're, like, drowning. They're trying to get out of the basement because the basement's drowning. I just want to direct. Well, it would take you a year and a half because you would, boy, do you think you'd overthink that move at all? You think I'd be like, hey, let's try that again. You think that the record company would be like, hey, dude, they're ready to make a new album already, and you've been working on this video for a year and a half. The new album is actually already released. The new album's in the can, pal. We've got to get this thing out. And I'd say, I need at least four more months. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need another two mil also. I need two million dollars, and I need four more months, and this is going to be... This will be the first video.
to ever win a Nobel Peace Prize. They're like, he's insane. He's crazy. It would take me about 15 minutes to shoot a video because I don't have the patience nor the vision for it. I'd be somewhere between the two of you. Courtney Stodden is the 16-year-old girl who looks like she's 32. She's beautiful. And Doug Hutchinson is the 51-year-old guy that was in the movie. He played Percy in The Green Mile. And the two of them got married. He got her parents' permission to marry her. Now, let's see. This is them on an Australian talk show. What do you say to your critics, to people who don't think you guys should be married? What do you say to people who think you're a pivot? We would say to our critics that love is very difficult to find in this world. And if you're lucky enough to find it the way we have, then Godspeed. And embrace it. No matter what the world has to say, no matter what others think, embrace it, be happy, and live your life. And live and love America. And just embrace a puppy. And while you're at it, just hug your mom and call up your dad and say, I forgive you. Can I ask you a question, Percy? Sure. Actually, my name's not Percy. It's Doug. Right. Well, let me ask you a question then, Mike. Uh-huh.
How do you get the girl to shut up? Because when she starts talking about puppies and whatnot, doesn't it drive you bananas? You know, it does. It's really funny because he'll give me like a hot dog or even ice cream cone or like soup. It is good, but you should see her with her clothes on. Cotton candy. Yeah, give her cotton candy one time. You should see her with her clothes on. Well, actually, it used to make up for it, but it's not so much anymore. Maybe shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Can I ask you a question there, Percy? Sure. Did you hear that, babe? For me, Doug. It's Doug. Doug? Yeah. Let me ask you a question then, Mike. Yep. Her breasts are... It's unbelievable. Is that why you're married? My breasts are all natural. They're personal. And that was one of the first things that Percy loved about me. They're outstanding. And my name's Doug. It's not... Sorry. Why are you calling me Percy? I got carried away. Listen, they're outstanding. They're like ripe peaches, okay? They really are. Do you understand the fact that she thinks that you're Percy from... The Green Mile. Right. She knows my name's Doug. She's doing a bit. When I was born, the Green Mile came out. Will you please shut up? And I thought it was a sign that me and Percy were meant to be. Listen, hey, what is your name, interviewer? John. She never stops talking. Percy, let me ask you another question. That thinks that I'm hilarious. Shut up. If you guys have a baby. Yes. I'll be 75 when they're in Little League.
have a baby because it would totally ruin my body. Trust me, it would. She's on the verge of plumping up anyway. She's a bigger girl. You'll be 114 when the child gets out of college. I like hamsters and guinea pigs. She does like hamsters and guinea pigs. And sometimes I want a ferret. We're going to be here tomorrow. So we're diving in today. And 51 plus 16 equals love. I love this. 16. My God. 16 years old. It actually equals 100 to life, depending on what state you're in. But you're in a state, well, first of all, her parents are in a state of confusion, and you're in a state that, well, you're in a horny state. Yeah, it's actually, some may call it horny, some may call it brilliant. All right. Buzzword is where Jay will give us a word, and then he will work, he'll start giving us clues to the word. And we have to yell out. Oh, boy. Are we doing this now? Here we go. Oh, boy. Here we go. M1 Alex from San Diego. Who do you want? M1 Alex. Are you there? Oh, I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Who do you want? Oh, Mikey. You got it. Hang on. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Who do you want? L-O-B. All right. Hang on. M1 Mix from San Diego. You got Woodsy, all right? Yeah.
All right, so what is the prize today, Jay? Today's prize is lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki, one of the only local family-owned chains in San Diego. What's the word, Jay? The word is blue. Blue. B-L-U-E. Blue. We shout out the answer. Okay, here we go. Of the working class. Blue color! Woods. I am awful at this game. Just awful. I forgot how to play for a second. 100 tons. Blue oil. There you go. Nice, Mikey. Thank you. Weird that you got that one back. Yeah, of course. I should have just said your brother. Just looked in the mirror. Oh, gosh. Wow. Oh, man. Wait, wait, wait. The kid who was under the haystack fast asleep. Billy Blue Boy. Boy. Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue. Mikey. Thank you. He needed to. He needed to.
Little boy blue. Cheaters. Fats Domino climbed. Blue suede shoes. Blue suede shoes. Blue suede shoes. I found my thrill. That's blue. That's fantastic. Blue is the word. Famous hills from Pennsylvania to Georgia. Blue mountain river. The Blue Ridge Mountains. There you go. Blue Ridge Mountains. Blue Ridge Mountains. Go, Woods, go. Is it the Blue Ridge Mountains, Jay? Score. Mike, two. Lauren, one. Woods, two. Oh, God. I'm going to go with the Blue Ridge Mountains. Yeah. For 100. Something from nowhere. Out of the blue. Lauren. Gosh. I think it's out of the blue. Tie game. Two all. Oh, God. Oh, God. Here we go. Oh, God. Oh, God. 40.
Love. A TV cop show from... Blue Shield! No! NYPD Blue! Oh, NYPD Blue! There you go. Dang it! NYPD Blue, Mike. Blue Shield, I said. Blue Shield. I said I copy you! Blue Cop! I said Blue Chip. Shaq movie. Yeah. The Mold... Blue Cheese! There you go. What? The mold gives it its name. I thought he said the mode. The mode. The mode. The mode. Like moldy bread. Moldy bread. Well, how can a piece of bread be in any kind of mode? Mode. I thought he said mode, too. Here we go. Levi makes them. Bullshit. Dang it. Tie on these two parts. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. New word. New word. All right. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. New word. Careful. Baby. Okay. B-A-B-Y. St. Joseph's Children's Headache Remedy. Baby Tylenol. Baby Aspirin. Baby Aspirin. Darn it. Baby Tylenol. Come on, Warren. Dang it. Baby is the one. One of Britain's Girl Power Singers. Baby Spice. Dang it. Gosh, my brain doesn't do that. Talc. Baby powder. There you go. What's talc? Talc. Talc. Talc.
Score is Mike 2, Lauren 4, Woods 7. All right, we've got a couple of three-pointers here. All right. Slippery, clear skin lotion. Oh, my God. Oh, that was a freaking tie. I was going to say, she got it out first. You finished your sentence for it, but she'd already started it. Un-effing believable. What's the score, Lauren? Score is Mike 2, Lauren 6, Woods 7. Here we go. God bless. Walkie-talkie for the nursery. Wood's got that one. Evening it up. That's game, right? That's game. He killed it. Woodsy. Mode. Mode. Not modey. Jeez. I just hit myself in the balls. Yeah, good. You deserve that. That literally made my sight ache. That literally made my sight ache. These two just hurt each other playing a game. He just came up behind me and hit four shots of the ball. Ouch.
Mike has doubled over in pain. He hurt his back somehow. Woods punched himself in the balls. M1 Mix, are you there? Yes, sir. How about that, dude? Woods won for you. That's a meal on me. Yeah, you got a meal over to get some teriyaki at what is it, Sir Brothers? Sir Brothers Teriyaki. Hang on the line, okay? Thank you, sir. Boy, sir. Oh, yeah. I got myself. Then did you see what he did? He came up behind me underneath and was going like this. He got four. What's wrong with him? I owe him four now, which is always fun. You came in here and relieved yourself in my area. Yes, I urinated in your area. A few years ago, I would not have admitted this story because I was still in a place in my radio career where I wasn't willing to reveal. But I've realized that that's a good idea. So I'm going to share this with you.
Even though it's embarrassing. And it's a true story. Yesterday, I was in our master bedroom. We have an armoire. Armoire has doors that open up. Well, one of the armoire doors never stays open. It always slides closed. And it's annoying. So we try to keep it open with pillows and stuff. Well, yesterday, I decided I'm going to fix this. I don't know how, but I'm going to fix it. And so I got an idea. I was going to take a thumbtack and a piece of string and I would attach the thumbtack behind the armoire, take the piece of string and wrap it around and keep it closed or keep it open. Excuse me. And so I asked my wife, Rebecca, if she had a thumbtack and a piece of string. She got it for me. And in my head, I pretended.
Because it reminded me of Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls. He does a lot of improvising. And so it reminded me of that. And I was walking up our stairs. And I was speaking quietly to myself. And I was having fun. And I don't have fun a lot. So this was a good moment. Makes us feel good. Yeah. Makes us feel good that when you say that you don't have fun a lot. That wasn't directed at you. Yeah, I know. Continue. Dealing with some guilt now. Work through it, Mike. So I was, I was walking up the stairs and I had only, I know this. All I had said was like two words. I had said something like when in a situation and I'd said like that much. Whoa. You all right, buddy? I'm good. Woods leaned back and fell out of his chair. Almost fell out of my chair. Show's off the rails today. My fault, sorry. That's okay. And I said.
Went in a precarious situation, and I said it quietly. Went in this situation, and I looked up, and right there was Jake's therapy teacher. Oh, no. How far away from you? Me to you, three feet. Oh, my God. But I had said it quietly, but I still was talking to myself. She thought you were maybe mumbling. But I was mumbling in Australian, or British. Oh, weird. Because I said, in this situation, and I got about that much out. And looked up, and there she was. And she was backing up so as to get out of my way. In fear. And there was like these little, Rebecca has these candle votives. Is that what they're called? Votives? On the wall. And she kind of backed up into it. And I thought, oh, I probably scared her. Yeah. Here it comes crazy. And I went into the room and I recovered quickly.
I'm kind of like that now where I do enough weird stuff that I recover quickly from it. So I wasn't ashamed anymore. Did you break character and say hello to her? Yes. Or did you just stay in character? I said hi. Okay. And then I went into the room and this is true. This is truth. Spoke out loud as Bear Grylls. But nobody was there. Nobody was there. Exactly. All I'm doing is sharing the story with you. But I did do this. And the only reason I'm sharing the story with you is because I'm an odd person. I'm an odd guy. And it only occurred to me 40 minutes afterward. Tell the story on the radio. And I thought, nah, I wouldn't have done that years ago. And I even considered not sharing it today. Because it's odd enough to make people take pause. I don't think you're weird at all. You don't? Well, I think you're weird, but just not in this instant. You don't? Because as you... You're practicing. You're honing your craft. You're always looking for the next place to go. But you realize that when I was doing this, I was not practicing or honing my craft. What I was doing is pretending to be Bear Grylls, and I'm 41. Because it was more interesting than being Mike Esparza 41 in your home. I was fixing an armoire. I was standing on a woofer speaker, and I had the thumbtack, and I was behind the armoire.
And I was trying to put the tack into the wood, but it was really... Firm wood. Yeah, and I couldn't press the tack in. So I was saying out loud, you've got to be willing to adapt to your situations. One of the most important things to remember is to always stay positive. And I was having a really good time doing that. That's good, dude. I was. Proud of you. That's good. And so I found a softer piece of wood and I said... Celebrate the victories. And when things don't go right, remember to get over them quickly. And then I took the string and I started tying it into a loop. And I was saying out loud, when fashioning the loop, make sure that the loop is secured. Because if it isn't, it could spell trouble. And I was actually saying this out loud to myself. Put the loop. around the part of the armoire that keeps it open, and then secured that and wrapped it around the tack, and it came loose instantly. And I went, I haven't got that quite tight enough, so I'll try again, this time wrapping it around the tack a few more times. I sang it quietly, and I knew everybody was downstairs by now. And I finished, and I didn't speak out loud to myself anymore.
But I did speak out loud to myself as Bear Grylls during that one to two minute period. Fixed? Fixed it. Fixed and fun. Fixed and fun. And, you know, I don't know. First of all, I don't know as you're listening if you do these things where you talk to yourself and you talk to yourself in funny voices and things like that. I'm not sure if this is a sign of psychosis or if it's just a 41-year-old guy having a good time. But I know I did it. And I'm telling you about it. And that's all. I don't see one problem with it. I don't either. You're a funny guy. I wasn't being funny. I was having fun. You're good at that voice. And that voice makes you feel good. It makes others feel good. Because I love it when you do it. It made me feel good, Woodsy. Good job. Man, I love the woods. I often talk in a Boston accent at home to my wife. I do it to my wife. Do it.
And I'll be like, hey, babe, I live at 874 Bunker Hill Street. Stop by any time. Is the driver crazy? She'll look at me like she'll go, you're an idiot. What is the proper response? Good morning. That's what you want her to say back to you? Good morning. She has to say you're an idiot. There is no other proper response. There is nothing else we can say. Hey, listen, I'm not working for you. Okay? I'm not working for you. She'll ask me to get the garbage. I'll go, look. I'm not working for you, okay? I'm watching CSI, Bones, you know, CSI of Miami. I watch all those. Anything has to help. I'm not taking out the garbage, all right? You take out the garbage. Oh, that's funny now. All right? I'm the man. You're the woman. Yeah, that's why you take the garbage. That's why you take out the garbage. I make the money. I pay the bills. I put the food on the table. That goes over real well in my house. I bet it does. I do it all the time, Mike. It's fun. That is fun. But you have an audience, Woods. Don't you see the difference? I do not have an audience. I did it to myself. I did it in a room all by myself. I do it to make my wife nuts. Yeah. When we come back, I'm going to tell you what the most promiscuous city in America is. Yeah. And I actually have the top ten most promiscuous cities. And is San Diego one of them? I'll tell you next.
Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Selection is everything during Toyota's nationwide clearance event. Right now, Toyota dealerships have the summer's best inventory and the year's biggest deals on your favorite vehicles. Now, save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla. Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. It's the perfect time to save big on the Toyota car, truck, or SUV you've been waiting for. But you better hurry. Toyota's nationwide clearance event ends soon. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer before time runs out. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Offers may vary by region. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 9-6-11. Sorry, me and Woods were doing scenes from movies. I want to tell you about Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. It's the greatest. You could look like L.O.B. does right now. It's wearing a pair of shades like Corey Hart. Inside. Future's so bright, you've got to wear shades. And if you are
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Nobody protects you like Allstate. Heading on to the 5 northbound before Oceanside Harbor Drive in accident. Semi over on the right shoulder. And the 125 southbound between Amaya Drive and Grossmont Boulevard in La Mesa. It's stop and go in the teens this morning. Escondido bunching up too on the 15 southbound between Valley Parkway and Felicita Road in the teens. This report also brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Right now, get three regular tacos, just $1.09. Three tacos for $1.09 at Del Taco. Taco every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized for days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. What the nation's most promiscuous city is. Actually, we have a... Top ten, and the question to you is, is San Diego in the top ten of the most promiscuous cities? Hope. Jay hopes so, because he's a married man. And he's raising his kids here. Right. So he's hoping so. He really hopes so. South Bend, Indiana's on that list. 1.1 million bucks worth of meth was seized at the border. Jay, what?
At the I-8 checkpoint near Pine Valley. Oh, at the border, though, Mikey. Mikey. 23 pounds. They put it in the bumper. And then on Thursday, 24 bundles of meth were found in a speaker box in the trunk of a car at the I-8, excuse me, I-5 checkpoint south of San Clemente. Two 19-year-olds. See you later, guys. They were scared. See you later. Wow. Pee your life away real good. Oh, I know it, man. See ya. Some terrifying stuff. You guys are going to love Chino. It's great. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about Albert Hainsworth and his sex abuse case here in a second, but I wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get's up! Oh, yeah. So Albert Hainsworth, big development. There was a case against him for sexual assault. So he has now pleaded no contest to just simple, basic assault. They have dropped...
the sex abuse charge. So he'll plead guilty to that. He will be okay as long as he does his community service and stays out of trouble. You are going to hear audio of Woodsy on a half pipe. Yeah, you will. In a bit. Yeah, you will. Also, the Padres go for their freaking fifth in a row tonight. I thought it was their sixth tonight. It's the fifth? They didn't play last night. Last night was off. Oh, I thought they... I played a game yesterday in the day. No? No, sir. Okay, all right. No, sir. Tonight, it is Matt Latos against Matt Cain. Come on, Matt Cain. Come on, Giants. Woods is rooting for the Giants. I have to. If the Padres win six in a row, Woods has to shave a fryer cut into his long hair. It smells delicious. Woods was so confident yesterday. He said to Jay that he could get on a skateboard and go down a half pipe. Easy. And I said, Woods, that's not wise. I guarantee you'd get hurt. And he goes, I could do it today. And he did yesterday at Jay's house. Right after the show. And they taped it. Straight over there. They taped it. We have audio of it. And video. Woods wondered. I'll pull the curtain back. Woods wondered if Jay would be cool about any of it. No, no, no. I know he won't because he's a D. But I wondered if he would be as nice on the air as he was at his home.
And we decided no. He probably will not. I wonder if he'll be complimentary in any aspect. I think he may be surprised. We'll see. Last week we played some audio of some newscasters that lost it on the air. They just started laughing, couldn't compose themselves. Anderson Cooper. So we got more. The most promiscuous city in America is Portland, Oregon. Wow. You know why. Because of the vampires? The Dracula's that are there? People are just hoping that if they slay someone, they may be a vampire. They'll turn out to not have a pulse. Well, the way that they got this stuff is that they were doing some research with websites and people that are seeking casual sex as their type of relationship. Portland, Oregon was the highest. Followed by...
Seattle, Washington. So apparently the Northwest is slutty. Number three, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Nothing else to do, pal. Yeah, I guess. That is shocking. Number four, Miami, Florida. That's not shocking. Feels real good down there. The weather. Feels better apparently than intercourse would feel in, say, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Well, for sure. The people are a little better looking. It's nice. It's beautiful. Solid hot bodies. Number five was San Francisco, California. Woods just gave me a look like, well, hey, hello, come on. Number six is the city of Dallas, Texas. Woods just applauded that. Woods tipped the scales on that one. It's from Dallas. Years ago, maybe, but I got buddies that are holding down the fort real good there. I know one of them. Why are you applauding the fact that it's a promiscuous city?
It's good stuff, man. It feels good. Number seven, San Bernardino, California. Odd. Yeah. How many people in that city? It's a big place. There's not a whole lot going on. Number eight, Denver, Colorado. Denver, gorgeous. Indoors a lot. Well, it's a lot of sunshine, mile high. Mile high club. Mile high club. Number nine is San Diego, California. Leave it to beaver. Mike's face. Yes, we made it in the top. We all did cheers. And he gave a look. I gave a look of hurt, disappointment. Why are you applauding? Shock. Mostly shock and disappointment and hurt was the look I had. Yeah, get some. Woo! San Diego. Congratulations, San Diego. You've earned it. You've earned it really good. You have earned it. Dirty Diego. You, you whorish town.
You promiscuous city. You've outdone yourself this time, San Diego. Do I make you horny, baby? You're spreading your legs. You're doing it today. You have those white sand beaches and you are a slut. You like to do it here. And you'll do it anywhere. Lauren O'Brien was just doing a chorus girl dance. Can-can. Can-can kicks. And kicked her shoe, right? And it made me laugh. I'm so graceful. Number 10, Houston, Texas. Yes. Yeah. From there, too. Yeah. Hot there. Poured up. Creeps, man. Congratulations. Great shot. Oh, ow. Right to the baby maker.
I had some newscasters that have been on the air and lost it. Matt Lauer. Some of the tips you have for consumers, you say the size of the package is very important. It actually is important because a trick... That some of these retailers will use. He's already laughing. He said the size of the package. To shrink the size of the package, the size of the box, the size of the container. And if you don't recognize that, you're going to end up paying more for the same amount of merchandise. What about store brands this time? Very good idea. We've seen a lot of consumers switch to. Guys like 50. And he's swallowing. Store brands switch to generics. And they're going to continue to make that switch. Oh, sorry. Something struck me as funny. Something. Oh, you're a grown adult man. You need to stick with the generic brands as they go. And her too. Yeah. Well, he's laughing, so she's laughing. I love it. If you can get yourself to really pay attention to couponing. Oh, wow.
I'm going to kill you. If you can get people to really pay attention and couponing through the circuit that you get in the Sunday papers, you're going to be able to continue to get that deal. You said Big Pack. Meredith is not helping me out here. I want you to know my partner is making it harder on me here. And you don't have to sacrifice healthy choices for junk food. There you go. I love it. Channel 8's anchor started laughing because of a fart story. Well, more bodily functions in the news this morning. The next time you pass gas, make sure no police are around. A man in West Virginia faces assault charges after police say he passed gas. Holy cow. Funny thing she's ever heard. There's nothing better. They probably waited. to not put that story on her desk in the morning. They wanted her to be an adult about it. They slid in there. It was, quote, very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature. See, Woods? Yeah, Woods. See, that wasn't even right. To put that story in there was wrong. That was wrong, man. I didn't even see it when I was looking through the script. You stuck that in there. Very odorous. There you go.
All right. Isolate. Channel 6. A rally is playing the game. Try to keep the state's farmers union in town. Excuse us. Farmers union officials want to move the headquarters to Bismarck or Mandan. City and business leaders will meet Tuesday morning to show their support to try to keep them in town. President Robert Carlson says the move was proposed because... Oh, no. Bismarck is the state capital and a central location. The organization has 40,000 members statewide. Boy, Jason caught me off guard there with quite the joke. Did he? The move still must be approved by delegates at the state convention in Williston next month. Is there anything better than trying to make your laughter professional? Yeah. Sorry about that. I was...
Hey, Jay, there's five here, but the last three are all labeled the same. Are they? Yeah. You could have been a crackhead. You could be a crackhead. My favorite part of when they start laughing is the very beginning when they're like, and their voice starts to shake. And they start to quiver. That's weird. It loaded the wrong thing. Aurelia's playing the game. It did. Try the other one. Aurelia's playing the game. That's too bad, too. There's some really good ones. Are you hitting the same one, Mike? No, I'm hitting a different one. Oh, they all sound the same. Well, sometimes it'll do that, Mike. It'll put them in there by themselves. It'll do. I didn't, I'm not. Uh-oh. I don't know what happened. He had a lot of audio to load today.
He was running. Yeah. I didn't see him all morning. He was running. I was like, you're a madman. I called him this morning, and I asked him to get some audio. I called him off from the road, and he goes, you need that today? And I go, unless you're slammed. If you're slammed, don't worry. Yeah, I'm slammed. Mike? That's not true. I go, what? What's going on? He goes, Mike, I have. To load the anchors cracking up. And when I freaking finish for that. New releases. A new release. I got to get Woods. Skateboard audio. 10 minutes audio. Yeah. I was very polite. I was like, do you need it today? Or. Yeah, I'm slammed. You're damn right. Mac. Slammed and it's your fault. Gosh darn it. Guess I'll start getting here at three. I have two more that I can play for you if you want to hear them. Let's hear them. Aurelia is playing. That's the same ones that we played just a moment ago. Here we go. Hold on, here's the new one. Here we go. A New York man only got three inches of meat in his footlong son. I'm sorry, the other seven inches was a knife. The man claims the knife was baked into...
It's pretty cool. A person made a Coke can into a tape recorder. What you're listening to there is somebody has a Campbell's soup can with a string in it and they're holding it up to their television. We're stretching the string all the way from New York. Into our studio where we have a Campbell's soup can. And we are playing it against the microphone. It's progressive. They only had three inches of meat in that. So, can you get it? You can hear it. Three inches of meat. There was a knife that was made. And that was made right into the bread on that.
Can you guys hear me okay? Or am I coming through on there? Your can is fogging up, sir. Well, interesting news today. We just found out. Very sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Something was wrong with the audio on that, and we do apologize. Three inches of meat. All right, I'm playing another one. Just in case you're having a hard time hearing the audio that we're playing here, ladies and gentlemen. Coming to you live from a Campbell Soup cow. It's Progresso. It's Progresso. Oh, sorry. A lot less sodium than Campbell. Healthy choice soup and Campbell's originals. Today's news brought to you by Progresso. It's back to you. Progresso. It tastes real good. Back to Mike in the studio. Mike? Mike, are you in the studio? Yes, I am, Woods. Thank you so much. You still got the giggles or? Yeah, yeah. Working out of giggles here and I, uh. Tommy, you're going to give me another story about it. One last story. Let's hear it. Oh, yeah. No, that's not it. Oh, wow. What the hell was that? Personal. Personal clip. A rally is playing with you. A New York man.
I already played that one. I think it's... Stop it. I'm going to throw up. There it is. The rally is playing. Jay, we've heard it. I think we've heard that one, Jay. No, give it up. That one's... Just give it up. I think it's played already. So go ahead and just... The rally is playing. God bless it. Hey, Jay. Stop it. Try to keep the state's farmers... Stop. Here we go. Really? This is Fashion Week over in Paris. The latest fashions are on the runway for next spring. But there was a problem out there today. Larry Flint. One of the British designers' shows had the difficulty. A model fell down twice. That's her going down once. The young woman wearing that pink skirt and the orange platform shoes. Never quite recovered after that. There she goes. That was uncool. That's embarrassing. This is at least a second time. Oh, wow. Well, you all are just feeling tickled by that, aren't you? You try walking in those shoes. Oh, boy. First of all, baby, I got enough meat on me that it's all right. Jay, you have to post this video on the page. This video is worth it. I'm sorry.
The way she falls off the shoes is hilarious. Oh, man. Oh, you're a dog. Oh, he lives to do that to me. Now, see, y'all gonna send your letters a complaint to me. He started, not me. He made me laugh. My bad. You're bad. What's in sports, George? You guys broadcasting from a fishing boat? Yeah. In a river? Dad's basement? He's catfishing? You get the ball-breaking lady like, y'all try walking in them shoes one time. Maybe you laugh. Maybe you just relax and laugh. Just have some fun. Hey, she's trying to stick up for the girl. Yeah, poor girl. If y'all don't quit laughing, I'm going to HR right now. If you watch the video, she's actually smiling as well. She's trying to... It's genius. 5701949 is the number. Don't forget, 8 o'clock, we're going to play the audio of Woods Skating. A.K.A. Tony Hawk. Tony Fat. Tony Fat is more like it. You're fat. I've never realized how fat I was until I got on a skateboard. Oh, wow. Mikey Show, who's this? Hello? Uh-oh. Mikey Show, who's this? Oscar. Hey, is this Chris?
No, this is Mikey. You're live on the radio here in San Diego on FM 94.9. I need to talk to Chris. All right, hang on. Hang on a second. Happy birthday. Chris just doing his own show in there? Yeah, I guess so. No, no. You know what we need? We need people to call us with words for the Incorporator. Woodsy, tell everyone who's going to be doing the Incorporator today. His name is Jacef R. Isbell. Oh, yeah. Yay! Jay has to do the Incorporator today. 570-1949. Call us and give us a word. Not a made-up word, like a real word, like frame. Cabin, frame, fork, spoon. Yes, like nouns. Stuff that would be hard to work into a conversation. Yes. But real word. Yes, real word. Don't clown out, please. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal.
More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is back with better availability than Honda or Toyota. So you can... Save now. Get the bottom line with 0% APR financing on Altima or get $1,500 cash back on Sentra. Get bottom line prices like 0% on the reliable Altima or $1,500 back on the roomy Sentra. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars, great offers, equals more savings. And that's the bottom line.
This event ends August 31st. Hurry in today. Financing for 60 months, $16.67 per month per thousand borrowed. Cash back when purchased from new dealer stock. Call 1-888-858-8319 for offering inventory details. Ends 831-11. Hey, Rhino here. Welcome to my habitat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Oh, look at that zebra. You ever just like stare at one? Mesmerizing. Those stripes totally mess with my mind, you know? Oh, there go some humans on that flight line. Your species is crazy. Ziplining over the entire savanna, buzzing my head like a condor. Oh, man. I wish you could see this. Mama gorilla carrying a baby like a backpack. Girl, he ate school supplies. Oh, check it out. Humans on a caravan safari. Hey, get a picture of my horn. Or just feed me some apples. I'm cool either way. I'm a rhinoceros. Animals are at home at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Come explore their habitat on our flight line, caravan, or a variety of other safari adventures. To choose your safari, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. And see spots run at the park today. Cheetah Run is now included with all safaris. Safaris start at just $40. For details, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings.
That's close, but you can really save a lot of money. That's better. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Let's take another call. Hey, Flo. Ever wonder if you offer too many discounts? Whatever. Homeowner, safe driver, snapshot, pay in full. Right now, we offer more discounts than ever. Doesn't that seem a bit excessive? Wait. Is this Bill and Tom from another insurance company? Uh... Hang up. Hang up. Getting you all the discounts you deserve. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS top safety pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 mpg highway and available seating for up to 7, and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry-exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity? Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range, and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 25 mpg highway? Well, with the deals going on now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event, any choice is a smart one.
Lease the 2011 Charger Rally for $269 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due at signing for well-qualified, current, less easy, competitive vehicles. Tax title and license extra. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy four-cylinder front-wheel drive based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped for towing. Call 1-888-4-DOTGE for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. No turn-in of current leases required. Take delivery by 9611. Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group LLC. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Three-pack Sharpie accent highlighters, just 50 cents. Eraser caps, just one cent. One subject notebook, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Expires 827, limit three for offer. Life's better with baseball.
Look, it's a fact that a really impressive pitcher needs to understand the engineering and aerodynamic principles at work while a baseball is in flight. I mean, trajectory, rotational forces, the dynamics of turbulent airflow. It's crazy. So that's when you turn to Scanalysis for laser-sharp insight and postgame analysis. Bob Scanlon, only on the Saquon Casino Postgame Show. The Padres are on the road, live from San Francisco, 7 p.m. Tuesday, from the remotest corners of East County. to the splendor of the silver strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego.
Today, I'm putting a BMW 3 Series to the test on the highway. Let's see what she's got. More power than ever, check. Hold on, toll booth coming up. What's more fun than paying money just so you can keep on driving? Same's true with maintenance costs. You see, most luxury cars have to go through a toll booth of sorts with every service visit. And those tolls can cost you up to thousands. Like the poor guy in front of me. Oh, that can't be fun. But not BMW. In fact, BMW is the only one of the top three luxury makes that offers no-cost maintenance. That means no service bills, just lots of... So, stop by BMW Center today for a test drive of the original Ultimate Driving Machine. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, enjoy incredible lease and finance offers of the BMW 320i sedan. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details.
Hear the authentic surf report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m. and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. This report, it's brought to you by Exxon Mobil. At Exxon and Mobil, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits, so your car will run cleaner. Just one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. Well, it looks like we've got some backup here on the 15 southbound before West Lilac Road due to a two-car crash. It's still sitting in that center divider. Five-car accident here on the 805 northbound after Governor Drive-In. It's in the center divider. Four-car crash in Escondido on the 15 southbound Deer Springs Road. Multi-vehicles, two on the right shoulder, two in the center divider. And the fire department's there as well as tow trucks. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks. And now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Sir Sched with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning. This is being brought to you by Coors Light. It's how San Diego breaks. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surf-wise today, not breaking too much, I'll tell you. Pretty weak out there. Just some pulses from some south-southwest swell out in the waters. Pretty much running right by us. Too steep of an angle for the most part. Secondary and old westward windswelf still lingering on. That's putting most places in that ankle that need high range. Occasional pluses on top of that. Standout spots most open to that dominant southwest swell. Still might have a chance to see a wave type plus wave on occasion. Overcast skies will greet you. It looks pretty thick this morning. And we do have some associated onshore winds once again out of the northwest putting a crumpled texture on it. So that's kind of what we're looking at. Weak this morning and not a whole lot going on. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For surfboard repair restoration needs, you go check out Joe Roper's Game Repair Shop on Arena Boulevard. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff.
Woods. I've bathed myself in the ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discount. Reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Woodsy skating a half pipe audio. Yeah! At 8 o'clock. Word of the day is captain. So, when you hear us say the word captain, call our nine. 50 bucks to Crossroads at the House of Blues. Good food. And a pair of tickets to see Arctic Monkeys and TV on the radio at SDSU Open Air Theater. Did you look up Sandra Lee, Woodsy? I did. She's pretty. She's juggie. Yeah, she is. She's on the Food Network. She's a blonde woman on the Food Network. And she's made a living out of doing...
I think kind of WT style. Cuisine? Yes. Nice. She calls it, her whole bit is this thing called 80-20. It's 80% store-bought, 20% homemade, and you make something out of it. Every time I watch her cook, it disgusts me. She opens up a lot of cans, and she microwaves a lot of stuff. Her whole thing is, hey, listen, people are busy. Hell yeah. You know, you don't have time. And so this is some things that will cut some corners and will really help you out. Now, when she got her job on the Food Network, they said, look, this was the executives at Food Network. Listen, she is so hot. And I can tell. She's beautiful. People will absolutely love.
Sandra, because she's gorgeous. She's druggy. She's beautiful. So let's get her on at all costs. I don't care what she does. I don't care what her bit is. I don't care about any of it. We just need to get her on. She looks great on television. So they offer the job. And she says the only way that she'll take the job is if they let her do what she calls table scapes. This is doilies and stuff you put on your tape. Dude, it's the most obnoxious, traileriest, awfulest, worstest, stuffest. I mean, it's bad. But they let her because she's attractive and they know she's going to get an audience. Sure. Anyway, I'm just trying to give you a point of reference. This is her and outtakes of her because her whole thing is very sweet. Oh, boy. Very, very sweet. Very, very sweet, Sandra Lee. Hello, I'm semi. Hello, I'm semi homemade. All of me.
Okay. Or a perfect downright party. This is... My philosophy is 70% store-bought ready-made plus 30%. Say it. Go again. Nobody really knew she had a saucy little mouth on her. Dirty little mouth. Store-bought ready-made plus 30%. Go again. Okay. Stop screaming. You're screaming. Air that one. All these outtakes, I want them. Here's her real personality to splice together all the curse words. That's exactly what we're doing. I'm doing that as we speak. Stupid me. Sandra Lee. There she is. Are you ready, Jay? Are you worried? You scared? I'm very scared, and I would like to take a pass. You can't. You can't. I would like to have someone else do it.
You can't, Jay. You're doing the Incorporated. Come on. I'm going to keep an eye on him. What do you mean you're going to keep your eye on him? You're about to read the words, right? Oh, that's right. I got to seclude this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seclude him. I got the words from listeners. If you've never heard the Incorporated, what we do is we are going to call a business. And this time we are calling up skate shop somewhere where it is. It isn't here. It ain't in San Diego. But the idea is that we call there, and you call us, you give us a bunch of words, okay? And I will call the words out to Jay. And Jay will have to incorporate those words into his conversation with Bob's Skate Shop. Now, here's the words. And they were given to us by M1 Poster, M1 Andrew, M1 Babe, M1 Sticky Fingers, M1 Surf Daddy, M1 Jason, M1 Sanjaya, M1 Pac-Mat.
An M1 driver. Here's the words that he has to incorporate. Discharge. Hummingbird. Helicopter. Scoundrel. Halfpipe. Nintendo. Spanking. Irrelevant. Irrelevant. But he says, general population. Oh, no. Now, a lot of these words are words that he's had problems with already. Specifically. And so, you, the listening audience, will hear my voice. The person on the phone will not. We're ready. Come on. You got this, Jay Bird. You got, oh, shirt shimmy. That was a big game. The good thing about this game for you is that you don't ever really jack up words, so you should be fine. Oh, let's be okay. Don't get in his head. No problem. He never does to me. We're calling Bob's Skate Shop. Piece of cake. You can do it, Jay. I thought Woods was doing it. That's why I thought the skate shop. Here we go. Hear me? The first word is discharge. Discharge. First word, discharge. I, uh.
Yeah, I wanted to bring my son by. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it. I mean, do you have like all levels of skateboarding? Like skateboards to buy? Something cheaper? Yeah, he's like, you know, he's little, man. He's like a hummingbird. And he's going to need like a shorter board, probably. Oh, yeah. We've got plenty of stuff for younger kids. Cool, because he's going to, you know, I'm pretty sure he's going to pull a move right off the bat at the helicopter and just go like, you know, whoopity, all crazy up in the air. Scoundrel. But, you know, you guys don't have a lot of scoundrels down there that are going to, you know, take my money from me and, you know. I know like skate shops a lot of times have riffraff hanging around outside. You should be able to find something. Well, I just built a half pipe for Jasper in the backyard. And so, you know, you guys should come skate it.
You could check it out. You think I could get a discount if I let you come skate the ramp? Do you sell Nintendos as well at the shop? Like, those are games? Is it, like, more than just skating stuff? Spanking. Spanking. But we don't really have any Nintendos or anything. All right. Now, don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. Nintendos. Okay. Well, that's cool. I guess it's irrelevant if, you know, whether it is or isn't in the end, isn't it? So I'm going to come down. I'm going to come down right after work. And you just put me right in with the general population. And we'll get this thing done. Thanks, man. You're done. Yeah, yeah. Come on by. All right. Get. Better than I could imagine. It's awesome. I couldn't look at any of you. Oh, my God. I was watching the TV. I love how he works.
I love how he works discharge. You're not going to discharge me for those boards, are you? As if he's saying overcharge or whatever. He just ran out. I feel like the guy knew he was being had, but was like, I don't know if I'm being had, so I better be serious. I have to talk to this guy. I have to talk to him. He's an adult. Because if I'm being had, maybe I'm being had, but maybe I'm not. In which case, I have to be normal. Jay said he was going to come down there and give him a spanking. Oh, my God. The guy was just silent. I wanted to hear his response to that so bad. I just didn't care anymore. I'm like, all right. LLB. Irrelevant. Isolate. Straight up. I mean, it was irrelevant. Irreverent. We already have one. No, no, no, no. This was perfect. This is the best one ever. We've never had anything so perfect. Whatever you think you know about this man is a reveler. It's the same exact word, you clowns. Wait till you hear it. It's perfect. Wait till you hear it. It's in every way. It's perfect. All right, HPD. Whatever you think you know about this man is a reveler. You're really on one today, LLB. Am I? Yeah, you put those sunglasses on. Yeah. You think you're Shaka Khan or something over there. Yeah, you think you're Shaka Khan.
You guys just scream out isolate throughout the show. I got to scrub four hours. Isolate! Find a word that goes... Oh, cool. We can use that. She's sitting there telling me that with sunglasses on, by the way. Staring me down with her shades. The words we already have. No, not like that we don't. Trust me. I'll pay you for this one. That's right. We got the skate shop audio coming up pretty soon. That was freaking great, Jay. I mean, the skate shop audio. That was the skate shop idea. We have Jay, or Woods, skating yesterday. Yeah. At Woods' house. I'm out of here. Come on, Mike. Yeah. Done. Together, pal. Gosh. A three off. Man alive. My sunglasses. Dynamite job, Jay. Dynamite job. I'm all spun out now. It's a hard thing to do. You did great. I'm going to give Mikey one in Spanish one time. Oh. What does that mean? Give you Spanish words you have to pronounce. Since you don't speak Spanish. Oh, but I can pronounce the heck out of words. It's true. Spanish words. Seriously, I don't speak a word of Spanish, but I can, dude. I sure can't give it that inflection. Yeah. Well, it's in the blood. Yeah. Chorizo. Chorizo con huevo. Oh, man, look at you. Yeah. Sound like Edward James Olmos. It's pretty good. And in the liver. Yeah.
Ella Bee found a spider in her closet, so she trapped it under a glass. Yep. It's there right now. Dead. Oh, that's just cruel. What am I supposed to do? She slide a piece of paper underneath the cup. Oh, good idea. You're sadist. You're sadist. They can live for a long time. Yeah, there's oxygen in there, bro. Yeah. Yeah, but he's just cutting down on, what is he going to eat? Oh, he can live for a while without anything. Oh, what if he hadn't eaten in a couple days? I have an idea. Well, it shouldn't have came in my house. Step on him. No. Throw them outside. How come animal activists don't get all freaked out when you say step on a spider? They don't freak out. How come they're not throwing blood on people on runways? I know. Over spiders? Because they're not cute. Because they're not cute. Oh, they're hideous. That's weird, man. It has a white spot on its back, too, which makes me think it's poisonous. It's Black Widow. Really? Yeah. Doesn't it say that I shall not kill? What is that? What is that? Thou shalt not kill. Mike, didn't your God say that? That's what I heard. 70s Tim Conway Don Knox flick. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Hopefully she gets put in the general populace, whatever it's called. General populace. There, I got to know. Jay has flubbed again. What about Brody? I just can't wait for Jay to flub again. I find the most fun is when he tries to defend the fact that he has gone and flubbed again.
Jay has flubbed again. Tried to say that Mikey has a twin. But when he said it sounded like he had a tin. Why can't wait for Jay to flub again? Jay has flubbed again. Like a stoned and drunken gypsy in the driveway. He insults his friends. Making them sound fat is just like freaking child's play. But we say... Jay has flubbed again. He just said Mike should drain his pole again. He just told Woods to buy a Happy Mill again. I can't wait for Jay to flub again. Yes, I can't wait for Jay to flub again. You know Jay's new bit? Jay's new bit is L.O.B. will send him the clips of him flubbing. And he won't load them. Yeah, come on, buddy. He didn't load them. Send them to me, and I will load them. I know how to load them, but he'll delete them. Start loading them. We can't. And, you know, he's got the point. This is Jay saying Joe Montana. Joe Montana. There's not enough room for all the flubs. I love it. We need a whole page. Yeah. I just wait for you to approve them, Mikey. Yeah. You just got to tell me yes. I say yes to all. They're all approved.
I have Nintendo, the Bready, the Flea Flicker. Hey, you know that creep Dominic Strauss-Kahn, the guy from France, that he was accused of sexually assaulting the maid? He's off. But wait a minute. Now, check this out. Before we go money, influence, ever get people off, blah, blah, blah. Here's what the prosecutors are saying. They're saying that the woman. That was charging him with this has a past. And in her past, she had a convincingly delivered story of being gang raped by soldiers in her native Guinea. And she later acknowledged she made it all up. Wow. And prosecutors said that her ability to recount a fictionalized sexual assault with complete conviction and then admit she lied about it.
would be fatal to her credibility. Well, yeah. For sure. Yeah, it would. Wow. She had a pattern of untruthfulness, they said. Listen to this quote. She had an unwavering, persistently, and at times inexplicably untruthful way of describing matters in both great and small significance. Wow. They had to drop it. Happy birthday, Dominique Strauss-Kahn. What if he did nothing? Maybe he did. I mean, what if he did something? Well, what if he did nothing and now he's lost his job? Everybody thinks he's a creep. What if he did something and he's now a walking rapist? I can tell you this, Woods, because I thought about those very questions that the two of you have asked. And there's one way that we would have gotten to the bottom of it. And that would have been if she had not fabricated being gang raped by soldiers. Right. Because had she not fabricated that, we wouldn't be where we are. Yeah, she's got a track record. Well, I mean, just because somebody has a track record doesn't mean they're not telling the truth. That is a true fact. But the prosecutor said because she's lied about this particular thing. That's rape 101, man. If you're a prosecutor, I mean, your whole deal is to destroy credibility and find, oh, well, you know what? She wore a short skirt one time and had sex with a guy she met in a bar. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait. That is, I believe, Woodsy.
That's a lot different than saying this man is a pathological liar, has a history of pathological lying, and he's going to stand here and testify as to what he saw. Right. Well, your credibility isn't in question because you wear a short skirt. They don't have any physical evidence. All they have is her word, and her word is proven to not be that good. Sure. Especially in matters of this. I'm just saying anything is possible. That guy could have done exactly what she said. Well, you could have too, though. I mean, you could be accused of the same thing, the same situation. You lose everything from somebody that's been proven to be a liar. Oh, yeah. Don't you think that'd be my first attack? I mean, I'd go right for the throat, too. What if those soldiers did gang rape her and then they threatened to kill her and then she reneged her story? What about this? What if that? What if those soldiers didn't gang rape her? But they did, in fact, get into her brain through some sort of manipulation of time and space. Wait a minute. And they were somehow able to do a thing where she thought it was the truth. Sea Woods, they were able to plant something in her mind that made her believe. Oh, like the Adjustment Bureau? No.
You see, Inception is an area of sleep woods that's very hard to get to. In order to get there, you've got... So it's like Limitless, the Bradley Cooper movie? It's different than Doss Booth. It's like... It's like Point Break. Well, no, it isn't like Point Break. Varsity Blues. No, it's not like Varsity Blues. It's like... Giveaway, Jay? Absolutely. What do we got? We've got a four-pack of tickets to see Fitz and the Tantrum. All right, here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do. Listen very closely and tell me, is this Lady Gaga, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or Shania Twain? 5701949. We will also play the skate audio of Woodsy on a half-pipe yesterday. Mikey Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Biden. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com.
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is there this report also brought to you by the mini cooper mini cooper hard topic it's 37 miles per gallon that's 37 commute changing rarely having to fill your tank miles per gallon visit mini of sdcounty.com for details i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 The Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d' from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. So before I went to break, I asked you this question. I said, listen, is this Lady Gaga, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or Shania Twain? Tell me to me. Alright, we'll tell you in just a second. I want to let you know about this guy, this poor dude in Encinitas. He's a well-known surfboard maker. His name is Mark Wisdom. He was attacked at 3 o'clock in the morning on Sunday. And it was a violent, really brutal attack. He said that he was beaten just blow after blow with some type of a board. And he said that they were hitting him so hard and so fast, he believes there were two people.
He said it was this is a quote from him. It was so forceful. I literally went down just to protect myself in a fetal position. He said that he kept saying his name, hoping if it was a case of mistaken identity, the people that were attacking him would stop. And then he said that he heard a female's voice say, stop, you're going to kill him. His face has been fractured in several places. He needs six titanium plates and reconstructive facial. So if you know anything, please call the police in North County. Very, very sad situation with this guy. Well known. And they think it was just a random act of violence. But anyway, Woodsy, what is going on in sports? We had a Monday Night Football game last night. It was King Dumbface against the Prince Dumbface. It was Jay Cutler against Eli Manning. You love it. I don't like it.
It's not mean. Listen, they have dumb face. There's nothing I can do about it. That's not very nice of you. It's okay. It isn't. Well, the Giants took it to the Bears last night. 41-13 preseason game. There you go. Great. Also, this is a crazy story. 49ers CEO John York said he does not want a 49ers-Raiders preseason game next year. Police will also be setting up DUI checkpoints near the stadium. Sort of the rest of the league. Every team that plays the Raiders should be like, we don't want a game with them next year. Listen to this. 70 people were ejected from the stadium on Saturday. Dude, it's preseason. And it's football. Oh, my God. There was a guy beaten unconscious in an upper-level restroom. One guy got shot in the stomach several times for wearing a T-shirt that said, F the Niners. All right. Listen, I have a shirt that says Buck Fauston on it, okay? I also have a shirt that says Red Sucks. Okay, it's not the smartest thing to do to wear that to a game, but I've done it, and I get looks and jeers and stuff. Maybe I don't wear those anymore. Maybe I retire those. Because if that's the kind of people that are out there about their team, I don't want any part of it. It isn't Niner fans, Woodsy. It could be. Woodsy. Oakland Raider fans. I know. I know all about them. They're nuts.
We know a few. We have some M1s that are big time Raider fans. Hey, listen. If you're a Raider fan, I'm sure that some of you are Raider fans and you're kind. You're nice. There are a lot of Raider fans that are the scariest creatures I've ever seen. Absolutely. Absolutely. Scary team. Oh, yeah. Always have been. Back in the old days, those Raiders, nasty. Scary. Not very much fun. I would never take my child to a Charger Raider game. Imagine taking your little boy to a Charger Raider game. All right, so we got some people taking guesses at who that was. M1 Malone from The Five. Who was it? Shania Twain. It was not Shania Twain. M1 LE from Mira Mesa. Who was it? Sweet, sweet.
I'm sorry, that is incorrect. M1 Phil from San Diego, tell everybody who that was. That is correct. Too bad she can't take all that talent and not be literally such a meathead. Literally a meathead. It's working for her. I know it is, but that doesn't make me like it anymore. I mean, she's a dope. It wears off. I like it. Oh, I mean, dude. I mean, I like the sound. I think it sounds good. I like the fact that she's doing more than just singing. I like the fact that she does her whole bit. I think it's entertaining. I like the fact that she's just against your God, Mike. Yeah, Mike. Hey, Mike. Listen. Anything makes you uncomfortable, I'm in. It's art. I like art of all kinds. I'm an artiste. Mike. I'm autistic. I like graffiti. That's R.
Artistic. I'm autistic. That's what I said. No, you've said that before, but that's not what it is. Your son is artistic. No, no, no. He's autistic. He's not artistic. What am I? You're artistic. I'm autistic. No. That's Jake. Jake is artistic. No. It's the other way around. I don't get it. I like Avant-Garde. That's Avant-Garde. Oh, that's what I meant. She's the cream de la cream. I wrote her a letter the other day. I said, hey, dear Gaggy. Dear Gaga. Gaga. I wish you'd do more stuff make Mike uncomfortable. I got an idea for your next set. Nail yourself to a cross, all right? Then Mike will lose his mind. He'll lose it. Sign it to Mike. Sign the devil. Just call your next record, I Love the Devil. Just call it that. Just rewrite the Ten Commandments in your own blood. And I'll give it to Mike. On this stone tablet. Here, you can borrow it. Just send it back. I ain't paying for the return postage, but... Clowns. Pig's blood if you want to use it. Clowns. Jasper likes it. Do your thing. All right, so Woods was saying yesterday that he can skate. Yeah. That he wouldn't have any problems skateboarding and... DCK. And Woods actually said something that was pretty funny. He says that Jay...
wants to be really good at exercising. And hey, tip the cap, the guy is a good exerciser. But when it comes to sports... Skateboarding is a sport. It's an extreme sport that not most people can do. You think standing around on a baseball diamond is... I can't wait. God bless, I cannot wait. Here's Woods yesterday on a skateboard dropping into a half pipe. What are you wearing? I have... black gym shorts on. I have a white V-neck and that shirt that I wore is a plaid quicksilver shirt. I got a hat on backwards. I actually have a helmet on. I got my iPod in too because I wanted some music. And you're on a skateboard. Yeah, I've got knee pads on. I've got elbow pads and I had wrist guards on. Upside down though. Well, the first time I put them on right. Second time I took them off, I put them on wrong. This thing's going to snap. No, it's not. You're going to snap is what I'm afraid of.
These are two guys that were on wipeout. Yeah. He's out of his mind. First off, he walks straight to the top of the ramp and puts the board like he's ready to go. Yep. Now, granted, it's only a four foot tall ramp. When I first told him, I lied to him and said it was eight foot. He's like, oh, no problem. Four foot. Well, listen. Hey, dude. Hey, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You rarely would factor consequence into any choice or decision. Yeah, I don't, dude. Rarely. I know. I don't. I like to try stuff. I like to try new stuff. You got me in a little trouble in my time. Now, listen. You just don't factor consequence in. So then when I get there, I'm like, oh, that's not even like a full half pipe. I'm going to nail this thing. And like, I actually thought in my mind, I'm driving over and I'm like, I want to get to where like I can do a trick. Like there's a trick where you go down and then you just kind of hold your board. What's it called? A fakie? Fakie. Yeah. Do a fakie and then come down. I go, I've seen it done. I bet I can do it. I've seen it done. Well, listen, I tried, dude. I walked up to the thing and I go, oh, wow. I've seen MMA. Mike, that four-foot ramp looked 70 feet. When you're standing up there on that board, it looks 70 feet high. Oh, gosh, Woods. Straight to the flat. What happened on that one? You leaned back. What did I tell you? I leaned straight forward. No, you fell back. You fell back. Oh, Jasper, show me how it's done. Come on, big master.
I feel like that board's so light. He's light. Jasper out there helping. Dude, that sounded like it hurt. That was rough and tumble. He plowed. I wish I had that isolated because I don't want to go through that whole clip, but we got to isolate just that wipeout. You get a couple more. Woods on a half pipe yesterday. Never done it before. The moment of truth. Here he goes. At this point... What's happening? At this point, I showed him how Jasper can drop in when I hold Jasper's hands. Woods says, do that for me. Yeah. Hold his hands? I held Woods' hands. Dainty. Daintily. Put his little tiny hands in mine. 36-year-old man. And he's dropping in. This is what's about to happen with me holding his hands. You don't need that other one there. Remember, bend your knees and lean forward. Ready? Go.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh. Wow, dude. I think you hurt the board. Again. Oh, my gosh. Again, he says. Again. Again. You can't stop him. You've got to get your weight forward. I did. Wow, you're falling backwards every time. You're listening to Wood's first time ever on a skateboard and a half pipe. And just so you know, this is the man. That broke his ankle on ABC's Wipeout. Did he? Yes! You son of a... On national television. Receipt. Doctor's name. Jay, this guy's never produced... He has never... Never. He's never produced an x-ray. Never produced an x-ray. He says he broke his ankle. I need to see proof. Okay, you'll have it tomorrow. How long? Put some money on it. I'll bet you the remains of this receipt.
I don't want to. I just want to see it. All I'm asking you to produce. That's what I thought. We have one more clip of Woods on the half pipe. That was the key. Jay never taught me that. Jasper's cute. Don't let me go. I'm trying not to. Do not let me go. Remember, step up. Put your foot on the board. You got it. You got it, dude. There you go. Yeah, that was it. Hey, I have a whole newfound respect for those cats. It is not easy. I mean, it is not easy. I wouldn't even try it. Well, you know, I skated when I was 12. And, like, I was okay. I could ollie and do a couple deals. But I haven't been on a board since I was 12. 24 years. Dude, I can eat the hell out of a sandwich. I'll tell you. I swear. You're standing on that thing. And the back of the board is on the coping. And you're looking down. And you're like.
I got this. You go so fast. Easy coping. Easy, Tony. You go so fast down it that I was like, I'm going to die. Easy Ollie coping. I hit. Those wipeouts you heard, those were hard. Rang his bell. Rang my bell. Oh, dude. They sounded hideous. I hit one time at the back of my head on the ramp. And Jasper goes, it sounds like the ramp's all creaky. Oh, there's definitely a weight limit on the ramp now. Gosh. Dude. Hey, you don't know until you try, my friend. The video will be up in the next half hour. It's so great. You never know until you try, Mike. You should come over and try it with us. Never. I'm going to get it down. Never. Will you hold our hands and do it? I would rather not. I mean, I'd rather watch a video. Let's all do it. What? Tell me what's going through your head right now. Not soon. No, talk to me. There's something happening. No, I want to know how you feel. I just want you to be in the gang. We're going to be a skate gang. Yeah. Me and Jay are going to be skating all the time. We have Lauren, too. I'm going to be in there. I'm going to start tagging things. Yeah. That sounds like fun for you guys, you know? I'm going to get a mesh hat. Yeah. Like a hat with mesh and foam in the front. I'm going to kick it off the side with a Volcom on there. You don't need me there, bro. I'm going to get a sleeve. You got it covered. It sounds fun. You know what else this dip-ass did me? What? We wore frigging tennis shoes over there. Jay's like, you can't skate. He had running shoes. Running shoes. Big, thick hills. That's all I have. Big, thick hills on them.
He had hills on there? So he had to go get me some air walks. Like high hills? High hills. That I had to put on the air walks and do it. It was a little easier then. Not too bad. Not too bad. He did good. But Jay said, he goes, dude, not a lot of guys just get up there and try to drop in. Nobody does that. You're either brave or you're stupid. He just got up there and did it. I did, dude. I got right up there and freaking let down. Crazy. Wow. Just crazy. Easy, jackass. Oh, man. It sucked. Hey, what's Punky Brewster's name? Soleil Moon Fry. Delicious is what I was thinking. Hey, listen. Well, listen. I'll say this. In terms of a child star that's grown up, because a lot of them, it just doesn't happen. But in terms of Punky Brewster, she grew up to be a very beautiful woman. Big-breasted. She looks really grown up now. What'd you do with the motorboat? You play the motorboat? Yep, sure did. She had a breast reduction. That's just insane. That's too bad. Come on, Punky. have the parenting thing down except for me and i was like i don't know about you but my household is full of sprinkles on the floor markers on the walls it was chaos but it was happy chaos it was truly happy chaos and so i started sharing through social media and i realized there was millions of other parents that were she sounds real smart too that's that's cool she is a little vendor it's a weird way to phrase it
You know, if you're eating, there's a bunch of stuff that's going to go into it that's going to change the way that it tastes. They just found this out. The color of it does it. Your mood, the mood you're in. They did this in 1998. They did this study. They had an air horn and they blew this air horn. And the people that were in the test said that sweetener that they were trying, they all tested said it was less sweet because of that. The people that didn't get the air horn, they didn't think that. Background noise. This is another thing. If you're eating food, it's too loud. Your senses get overloaded. Your brain gets overloaded. You can't gauge sweet or salty. Should we try it in here? Yeah, we can try it. Eat your spaghetti. I'm happy it doesn't taste good. Yeah, it doesn't taste good. It works. Let's follow you around all the time. Why, Jay? Help him. I'm just going to help him. Help him what? Just eat less? Because that makes him point it out.
Not the joke. Just trying to help. You're fat. Also, the label. If it says low fat, you don't like it. My wife the other day had some ranch dressing and it said light. I dipped a carrot in it. It's all oily and greasy. This is disgusting. Why do you buy this? We did the Coke and Sprite challenge and Mike, you couldn't tell the difference. Packaging. I tricked you. Still. I wonder if I have trust issues. Wood's tricking me. Oh, boy. Really? Grow up. Check your sack. Drop in. You grow up. Drop in. You grow up. Hold somebody's hands and drop in like I did. Be a tough guy. And he'll hold his hands the whole time. Did you have your crew start something called The Show and then talk to me about it? Oh, God.
Stop, Mike. It's a low blow. Just let it go. Clearly I have. Clearly. Now the shrink appointments are really paying off. They're really paying off. And you haven't stopped calling me Ashley since we met. Yeah, and as many times as you ask me, I'm not going to get Dallas tattooed across my throat. I'm just not going to do it. What kills me with all the B-Rob stuff? He does it as a joke, but it bugs me. He goes like this. He'll go. He goes, You'd rather have him here. That's what he does. You guys are both a bunch of big babies. Sorry, I'm not B-Rod. I hate that. We'll be on the phone. And Woods will go, sorry, I'm not B-Rod, dude. I go, shut up. I'm sorry, dude. I'm just me, man. This is while you're FaceTiming with your shirts off? Yes. I can only be me, Stephen R. Woods. That's all I can be. I can't replace somebody, man.
Ashley, will you come watch Doss Boot with us today? Mike, remember? Lauren. L-O-B. That's where the L comes from. Lauren. Yes. Ashley, Lauren, whatever. Same difference. Will you come watch it? No. Why not? Because it sounds like the opposite of the movie I would like. No, it sounds right up your alley. It's foreign. It's fancy. It thinks it's real smart like that. 30 years old. Get 30 years old. Get. Just ever rub salt in the wound. Fan the flames. What'd you say, Costa? Really? Pushing real hard? Makes me uncomfortable. I'm sad and just get my shrink on the phone. That's a good idea. Yeah, it'd be great. Will a shrink waive the confidentiality? Yeah. Mike is really sad inside. He's very sad. He hates you, Woods, and he wishes he could replace you with the guy that he used to work with. That's not...
When we come back, we're going to play something that L.O.B. came up with called Sexy or Mexy. With everything in this country tied up in the court systems, I think we need a little more of this. The Mikey Show now. Text 949mikey at gmail.com. Call 570-1949. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is The Mikey Show. With some shows for you to go check out. Wednesday night's Company of Thieves show at the Belly Up, unfortunately, has been canceled. And Friday night's Butthole Surfers show is now happening at Brick by Brick. Next Friday, the second, FM 94.9 presents Bits in the Tantrums at the Del Mar Racetrack. And Ben Harper plays there Sunday the 4th on the infield.
Two nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues September 7th and 8th. You can also see Telekinesis at the Casbah September 8th for the SD Music Thing kickoff party. And still to come this summer, an About the Music Show with Givers, and we've got one with the pains of being pure at heart. The Kills, Portugal, The Man. Also TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys. Bush with Filter and Chevelle. Peter, Bjorn, and John. CSS with Men. Ryan Adams, the Foo Fighters, and Colts. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Hey, this is Jay with The Mikey Show. Join me this Thursday from noon to one at Lahaina's in PB for the League of Most Interesting Challenges. Stop by and register to win tickets to see Portugal and the Man, Arctic Monkeys with TV on the radio, Two Door Cinema Club, The Kills, and Company of Thieves. Plus, challenge me for a chance to win tickets to see Ben Harper at the Del Mar Racetrack. All this info and more at FM949SD.com. That's this Thursday, noon to one. La Hinda's in PB. Be there! They say patience is a virtue. But if you've been waiting to get your hands on a new Honda, there's only so much anticipation one can take. Well, finally, the wait is over.
We've just received a factory fresh allotment of Honda Accords, the only vehicle to make car and driver's 10 best list 25 times. And to celebrate, we're giving away 0.9% APR financing for qualified buyers. With the best resale value in its class from Kelly Blue Book, the Accord offers the perfect combination of style and fuel efficiency. Add to that Honda's legendary reputation for quality, and it's no wonder why people have been so eager to get an Accord of their own. Stop waiting and hurry in today before this supply of Accords runs out. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. For more information about Accord's resale value, visit kellybluebookswww.kbb.com. MPG based on 2011 EPA mileage estimates for the Accord 4-cylinder sedan AT models. 23-city, 34-highway MPG. Used for comparison purposes only. Actual mileage will vary. See dealer for financing details. Hey, Rhino here. Welcome to my habitat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Oh, look at that zebra. You ever just like stare at one? Mesmerizing. Those stripes totally mess with my mind, you know? Oh, there go some humans on that flight line. Their species is crazy. Ziplining over the entire savanna. Buzzing my head like a condor. Oh, man. I wish you could see this. Mama gorilla carrying a baby like a backpack. Girl, he ate school supplies. Oh, check it out. Humans on a caravan safari. Hey, get a picture of my horn. Or just feed me some apples. I'm cool either way. I'm a rhinoceros.
Animals are at home at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Come explore their habitat on our flight line, caravan, or a variety of other safari adventures. To choose your safari, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. And pick up your San Diego Zoo Safari Park discount coupon for a half-off child's admission at participating SoCal Denny's, plus a free Denny's kids meal. See restaurant for details. Badges aren't given, they're earned. Through strength, like the available 390-horsepower 5.7-liter Hemi V8 engine that gets up to 20 mpg highway. And through dedication, with a five-year, 100,000-mile powertrain warranty. Badges every Ram truck has worn for over 30 years. Drive home your own badge of honor at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance Event. Get a low-mileage lease on Ram Quad Cab Bighorn 4x2 for $199 a month for 39 months with $37.28 due at signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax title and license extra. Stop by California's Truck Stop, your Ram dealer. Hurry, offer ends soon.
EPA estimated fuel economy 1500 4x2 Hemi V8. See dealer for copy of limited warranty. Call 877-RAM-5722 for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. 25 cent charge for each mile over 32,500 miles. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 9-6. This is the sound of Jim's Chase Mortgage. This is the sound of Sean's Chase Mortgage. And this is the sound of Nancy's Chase Mortgage. That's because Chase checking customers can earn cash back on their mortgage. That's money to spend on whatever you want. A new lawnmower. A new grill for the backyard. Even some new golf clubs. Or maybe just lessons. Simply get a new Chase Mortgage or refinance your loan and sign up for automatic payments to start getting cash back. Up to $500 annually for the life of the program, which could add up to thousands over time. Stop into a branch today or go to chase.com slash mortgage cash back to learn more about our great rates and to find out how your mortgage can start paying you back.
Mortgage cash back only from Chase. Chase, what matters. All home lending products are subject to credit and property approval. A Chase personal checking account required with automatic mortgage payments. This program is not available in all states. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti... You'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America. Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding, so see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infiniti G25 Journey for $3.19 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment. Or get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details.
The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita. An experience that tastes so smooth, it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Copyright 2011. Imported and bottled by Food Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under licensed from the trademark of Jose Cuervo Especial. It's a registered trademark of Tequila. How do you make something as awesome Play the biggest and best games, including exclusives like LittleBigPlanet 2, Uncharted 3, and Resistance 3. You'll also get awesome features like Blu-ray. And you can instantly stream TV shows and movies from Netflix. And get free access to online gaming on the PlayStation Network. PlayStation 3. Now only $249. Games rated E to M.
See Spots Run at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Cheetah Run is now included with all safaris, starting at $40. For details, visit sandiegozousafaripark.org. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. We should have bought rights to the word craftsmanship before it became so overused. Hired lawyers to protect it and keep it true. Like the true craftsmanship of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. with an all-new world-class interior, best-in-class 4x4 capability, and a powerful new 290-horsepower V6. Legally, you may not own the word craftsmanship, but Grand Cherokee continues to own what it stands for. Now get a great deal on the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event. Lease Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $2.99 a month for 39 months with $24.99 due at signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Visit your SoCal Jeep dealer. Based on automotive news segmentation, call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residence here, restricts in supply. No turn-in of current lease is required. Take delivery by 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC.
This report is brought to you by California Citrus Pest and Disease Prevention Program. Save your citrus. The Asian citrus psyllidic can carry a disease that will kill your citrus trees. Visit CaliforniaCitrusThreat.org to learn how you can protect your backyard tree. Well, it looks like the 94 westbound Federal Boulevard, a two-car crash here. They've moved it to the center divider. It was in the number one lane. In Escondido, Old 395 Highway, southbound at the 15, an injury accident. Two cars, they've got the roadway blocked. The tow truck's on the side. And the 54 westbound at the 5, a two-car accident in the center divider. This report, it's also brought to you by Big O Tires. At Big O Tires, get 14-inch tires from $55 each, 15-inch tires from $65 each, or 16-inch tires from $75 each. The brands may vary. See a participating Big O Tire for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Woodsy's been wearing a poncho the entire show. It's butt cold in there. Captain, my captain. Woodsy will be watching DOS Boot later today. Let me pull the curtain back on why.
Or would you rather not? No, I'd love it. Okay. Can we pull the curtain back on how mean you are and cruel? Can we pull the curtain back on- You know what you are? You're that thing in the cave in Empire Stripes Back- Stripes Back? Stripes Back? Oh, Jay gets you. What'd you say, Mike? What was that? Mike has blew me. Mike, you missed out my word! Sorry. Sorry about that. Okay, so I'm the guy in the cave. You're the white creature that hung- Luke Skywalker, Upside Down. You're the Zodiac Killer. Okay. You are Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade. You're the racist guy from A Time to Kill that throws beer cans at that poor little girl. You are the car in Christine. Good one. Thank you. You got me there. Thanks. I appreciate that, Woods. So, here's the deal. Oh, my gosh. Shut up. You.
You guys. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me, Lauren. What? Just because you are cool enough to wear glasses indoors. Right. Doesn't mean. Doesn't give you the right. You guys have been talking about this nonstop all week. It's driving me insane. You know what's driving me insane? It's kind of like when people sing jingles and stuff. Have I done it at all? Like nonstop. Haven't. For a year and a half. I haven't. For like a year and a half. Since you played the clip. Haven't you? For like a year and a half. Every break. Where are they, Jay? Jay agrees with me. I took them off, Mike. I took them off. Gosh darn it, Jay. Jay. That's how you wanted it permanent. Speak up, Jay. Mike, I know you play stuff all the time over again, but I'll take it off. You know why? Because I know you'll ask. And then I'll be able to sink your heart right down into your belly. Some big old belly. Our friend, Mike R. Esparza, and Lauren, you can attest to some of this. He is very stringent on being well-rested and prepared for our shows, right? Yes. You do not like us out Monday through Thursday.
Do it past? Sunday through Thursday. Sunday through Thursday. Past, let's say, 8 o'clock. Yes. Probably, like, if I had something to do, as long as I can get out of there by 8, I'm probably okay. And you guys are new at this, too. Right. We're new at this. Yeah. Relatively. 350 shows under our belt. We've kind of got it down now. 343. Okay. 343 shows under our belt. We're getting into the vibe, the flow. So, I love live music more than anything in the world. Two of my favorite bands are coming to town. They both happen to be playing. On a weeknight. Now, I want to go to these shows. Not boos at all. I'm going for the views. Boo Fighters and Bryan Adams. Ryan Adams. You SOB. Ryan Adams is coming. Acoustic. I've never seen. I mean, he's playing just acoustic. Imagine Summer of 69 just on a guitar. Oh, my gosh. That blew my mind. It's Ryan Adams. So, basically, we all, as a show, everybody gets one freebie a year. If you want to do a show, you want to do a gig, whatever you want to do,
You're not going to get in trouble by being a little red-eyed and tired the next day. So I decided I'm going to take my freebie for Ryan Adams because I'm really excited about the show. I'm taking my freebie. So the kid's not going to be well-rested, which will probably be pretty funny. But I will be prepared. All my work will be done. I said to Mike, if you let me go to the Foo Fighters, I will watch Das Boot. So I got two freebies. But I got to go watch Das Boot. So that's the story. I got to go watch Das Boot, but I get to go to the Foo Fighters. You know, I listened to your favorite artist, Brian Adams, and sat there and listened to this Canadian. He's not Canadian. He's from North Carolina. Cuts like a knife and all that. Classic. I can't put the guy down. Hey, Woods likes Brian Adams. It's Ryan! And so I was open-minded. Do you think that Woods has been open-minded about seeing this movie today? Not even a little bit. Not even a sort of bit. A German submarine film. Perfect. In subtitle. With subtitle. Sexier Maxi coming right up. Subtitle. Sometime. I thought I heard some English in there. That's because that was the English. We ain't watching the English. Let's watch the English version. You're such a... You're so... You're such a Frenchman, dude. With your beret and your cigarette. God, just watch the American. You're such...
A guy. I'm an American. With your freaking whiskey town band. Hey, baby, I'm going to tell you tonight. I want to give you something later. And I know you're going to. Name one song. Landslide. No. That's Stevie Nicks and Billy Corgan. They covered it. No, they didn't. They covered dreams. Yeah, it sounded like this. Dreams are what you're made of, and I like when you were made. I'm going to stab you. I know what you do when you like it, and I know what you were paid in. Mike, you know that's not how it sounds. You know that's not how it sounds. Sexy or maxy? Oh, wait, first. M1 Dillweed. From Encinitas. Hi. Great word. How you doing? I'm good. What was the word of the day? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. 50 bucks to Crossroads. I won anything. Yeah, dude. You won now. You get some free food, 50 bucks worth. You're also going to see Arctic Monkeys and TV on the radio at the SDSU Open Air Theater. Bam. How about that? Nice. All right. Hang on the line. Hang on the line. All right. Sexier Mexie. Here's how it works.
L.O.B. is going to say some things to me in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish even though I'm Mexican. And I'm 100% Mexican. I don't have any other nationality. And so anyway, she's going to tell me in a sexy voice. She is going to say a sentence to me in Spanish. And I have to determine whether what she is saying to me is sexy or whether it's just Mexi. And so that's how we'll do it. Now, it's going to be five. If I get three. then you'll win. I decided I do want to let somebody win. 5701949, call us, and if I can get three out of the five, then you will be a winner. Again, I don't speak Spanish, although I know a couple of words. I'm going to try to turn on my sexy voice, my va-va-voom. Okay. Do you want this poncho? My moxie. No. Do you think it'll make it easier for you? No. What about that sombrero? Should I wear the poncho? You want that sombrero? No. No, I think that the sombrero, the poncho, and the two pinatas in the studio are racist enough towards me. What about the donkey? Because he's starting to stink a little bit. Yeah, there's a donkey that's a pinata. There is no less than four racist pinatas in this studio. Why are they racist? And that low rider out there. Why'd you bring him in? 570-194-9.
If you want to play this game, it's called Sexy or Mexy. And L.O.B. is going to use her sexy voice. She's going to read some phrases to us. And I have to determine whether or not the phrases are sexy or just Mexican phrases. I'm on Parker from PB. Are you there? Yeah. All right. I'm playing for you. Hang on. All right, L.O.B. Okay. Are you ready, Mike? I am. Por favor, pasame la montaquilla. Maxi. Yes. Wow. Please pass the butter. Sweet. That could be sexy, too. 50-50. That was a guess. Okay, so there's one right. Okay, ready, Mike? Mm-hmm. Maxi again. Damn it, Mike. I'm right? Yeah. What was it? What did you say? What time is the store open? Oh, my gosh. That's great. Okay, ready? Yep. One more. That's all I need.
Sexy? I like your pretty feet. Yes. Okay. Just for gigs. Just for gigs. Wait, let me do that one. One more time. Okay, I laughed. That's sexy. That is sexy. I don't know what you said. It's sexy. Kiss me in the rain. Give me another one. I have one more. That's sexy, dude. That's sexy. It's not. It's too expensive. Speaking of my language. I've heard that in Mexico. Not bad, Mike. Not bad. Good job, dude. Good job, Mexi. M1 Parker, your favorite Mexican one for you. Yeah, buddy. I actually like this. Yeah? I'm going to come up with trickier ones.
Yeah, the music. Yeah, take out all the gustos and all the stuff you might know. I know. Does this music bother you? Yes. Very much. You have such a closed... Do I? It's just fun. That's great. It makes me want to sniff my fingers and dance. Yeah. Drink tequila. Woo! Let's do it. Yeah, good. It sounds good. Does it make you think you're, like, fun? Sent us a photograph of herself. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, you're not. Jay, you didn't believe that was me. I didn't think that was you. Yeah, it's fine. It's not a bad one. It's the sexiest slash... Filthy. Weird. Disgusting. It's a mind scramble. Yeah, it's a turd next to the Mona Lisa. Yeah, it's a mind scramble. That is Juan Gabriel. Yep. Las tardes acuerdas. Hey, dude. You should play more of that, bro. Hey.
They're a little buddy. And then, dude, tell Uncle Woods that he's a party pooper, bro. He's always talking about Uncle Rob and everything, dude. And Brian Adams. I'm not talking about him. And Brian Adams, dude, you love him. How come you like Brian Adams so much, dude? It's Ryan Adams. Why does your uncle Mikey Beto love he doesn't? It's not my name, dude. It's little one. I mean, little one. Not Beto. I didn't say Beto. Don't say it again. What is it? Franklin? Carlin? Little one. Say little one. Little one? Yeah, little one. Little one. Juanito. Tonto. Little one. Why does your... Uncle. Uncle Woods. What? You love the 80s so much, bro. I do love the 80s. You like Footloose. Yep. And you like straight from the heart and cuts like a knife, bro. Yes, I do, but that's not who I'm going to see. You want to go see Bryan Adams, dude. I would, but I'm going to go see Ryan Adams. He's your favorite act of all times. You get to see him acoustically. Sorry it's not. He's from Canada, dude. Sorry it's not Santana, all right? Don't worry, bro. One day I will team up Santana.
Like he did with Michelle Branch. Only I'll do it just for you. I'm sorry. And it'll be Brian Adams, bro. I'm sorry it's not Los Lobos. Me too. I know. Because that is better than Brian Adams, bro. I'm sorry. I'm finding it hard to believe you like Brian Adams. It's Ryan Adams. Oh, wow. It cuts like a Brian Adams. Sorry, it's not Jose Feliciano. Oh, give it to me straight from Brian Adams. I like to listen to bands like Brian Adams. He sounds so much like Brian Adams. Hey, dude, he should have called himself Ped Depplin. Or tween. Or Biley Tyrus. But he called himself Ryan Adams. This is his birth name. He should call himself the tweens of the Stone Age. That's a good one. Tweens. Kings of Leon. Hey, everyone. It is I, Ryan Adams.
Try to forget how close my name sounds to Brian Adams. Singer of Cuts Like a Knife. Summer of 69. You know, the guy that has about 525 freaking hits. No one will ever confuse me. Hey, opening up for me, The Fetals. Followed by... Tarot Smith. I am Ryan Adams. I love little Juan. Little Juan. Little Juan. Little Juan. I'm going to buy you some beer. Uncle Woods is going to take me to the Brian Adams Acoustic Show, where you will pay $300 to see him play. It's a true statement. What are the odds? If successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,721... Never tell me the odds. Got a great text coming up for you. Skeletor, that's Terminator's wife. Think you got something worth adding to the Mikey show? At 949mikey at gmail.com. That's all I wanted to hear. We'll call Mikey now, 570-1949. I don't like how this is already beginning. So here's the deal. U-verse TV, $29 a month. Six months with a DVR included. So we're talking about $29.
And that DVR thrown in there for six months. And if you mention, call there and say, hey, I heard this on the Mikey show. They're going to throw in HBO and Cinemax for three months for free. You order today, you get up to 182 channels. Really, that's all the message that you need. And the phone number. 877-ONLY-ATT. 877-ONLY-ATT. Or go into an AT&T store. Or click on att.com slash TV. It's very easy. And you're going to love it. U-verse TV. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Price for your family TV. New customers only. After six months, standard rates apply. Total home DVR requires extra receivers and additional charge. Taxes and other charges apply. Offer ends November 5th, 2011. I'm test driving a BMW 3 Series right now and enjoying the speed and the power.
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I'm waiting for my friends to bring me back a Coke from concessions. Hey, can we sit here? Sorry, occupied. Anyway, it's really hot, and I'm really thirsty, and it's kind of hard work fending off all these people. Hey, is this seat taken? Sorry. Oh, you've got a Coke. Well, pull up some blanket. Let's crack that open. Uh, could I sit down? I've got a Coke, too. Yes, and yes. Sit down. Hey, we're back with the Coke. Um, who are these people on our blanket? Uh, they had Coke. Figured we could squish? Every precious moment of summertime should be enjoyed down to the very last drop, just like a refreshing Coca-Cola. So grab your friends and grab a 12-pack of Coke for just $4 for $11 at Ralph's, at the beach, the mall, the game, or whatever. When you're out enjoying all the fun that summer has to offer, stay refreshed with an ice-cold Coke. Coca-Cola. Open happiness.
Okay, so let me tell you about my credit union. They gave me advice, approved my mortgage, gotten awesome, by the way, and they gave me money for closing costs. Who does that? Navy Federal Credit Union. That's who. Refinance your mortgage or purchase your new home with guaranteed low rates and up to $2,500 for your closing costs. Your personal mortgage rep guides you through, and before you know it, you're home. Navy Federal members, military, DOD, and their families apply today at NavyFederal.org. It'll be insured by NCUA, equal housing lender. I'm Jeanette. And George. We're Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customers. This message is by real customers, not celebrities. Saving money we pass on to you. We're Fresh and Easy all the way. You have great fresh products. You save money. I think the integrity of Fresh and Easy is absolutely wonderful because you have all the prepared stuff that doesn't have a whole lot of preservatives, so it just tastes a lot better. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Jeanette and George. Now everyone can save with our high-quality 80-20 ground beef. Always fresh, never frozen. It's just $2.49 a pound every day. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list.
Who has the new stuff, like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Three-pack Sharpie accent highlighters, just 50 cents. Eraser caps, just one cent. One subject, notebook, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Expires 827, limit three for offer. Stevie. Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet, I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Least the 2011 RX350 for $459 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due with signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego.
Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 RX350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid on the Lexus Western areas only and end September 6th, 2011. Wednesdays have never looked so cool or so easy because this season, every Wednesday at Del Mar is officially free and easy. Ease into the racing week with free stretch run admission, free reserve seating, and a free program. Plus, enjoy half-price domestic draft beers, sodas, and hot dogs. Del Mar.
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I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better with women than I do with men. Lauren. And I'm a klutz and an idiot. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show live. Every single day, ladies and gentlemen. We have a live studio audience in the 9 o'clock hour. If you would like to be a part of that audience, you can. All you have to do is go to MikeyShow.com and they got a thing there you click on and tell us you want to come in and hang out. We do this every single day now. And it's a good time. You come in here and we feed you. We got Jersey Joe's sandwiches. Sorry. Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's. Jersey Joe's was a place you and I used to eat in Dallas.
The place we used to go to every day. Jersey Mike's. Just reminiscing? Yes. Jersey Mike's subs. They're delicious. So good. And you got to try them. And also, the other cool thing that we have rolling in here now is mypicturebooth.com. We have a customized photo booth in the Mikey Show Suite in Suite M. You come in here. You get to take a picture in there. And if you want to, you can instantly email it or post it on Facebook. It's mypicturebooth.com. It's the coolest thing. And if you're a company, you can have your logo wrapped right onto the booth. We have the Mikey Show sticker on there. It's pretty cool. So not too cool for this poor girl, Tracy Lundin. Back in 1994, she's 13 years old. She's going to school at McKnight Middle School in Renton, Washington. And she gives this kid help. And he then stalks her over the next 17 years. Oh, boy. He's been stalking ever since 1994. They put him in jail now. He's harassed her. Sent her countless threatening letters, even when he's been locked up. He's also stalked her family members to try to get to her. And on Friday, he was back in court. He's facing more felony harassment charges. He could get decades.
In prison. You know, Mike, they used to call that romance. Well, they don't anymore. Now they call it felony stalking. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the Padres will be going for win number five tonight against the San Francisco Giants in San Francisco. It's going to be Matt Latos against Matt Cain. And Matt Cain, I'm going to need you. I'm going to need you to come through. And I'm not afraid to say it. I need you. I love my new hair. I love it. And more importantly. My wife is so freaking furious at me. Listen, I love you. I love your wife. Do you? Yep, I do. However. However, if the Padres win six games in a row, Woodsy, you got to shave a fryer. Look, I'm a man of my word. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to go kicking and screaming. You know that. But I'll do it. Yeah. So suck it. Let's see. Little ears, all right? My bad. Sorry. Feast on it. He changes it to feast on it. Feast on it. Kids are different now anyway. Yeah, he's heard way worse. He was in here yesterday, so he heard way worse. That's true. I was thinking about when I was a kid and the difference between kids now and when I was a kid. There's still stuff that I wish that my kids could experience.
You know, I rode in the back of a truck. You're not riding in the back of a truck. Dang it. That was the best. That was the coolest, right? There was nothing like it. Riding on your dad's lap while he drove. Dude, we did it. We did it senior year of high school. We did it from Dallas to Austin. We laid in the back of a truck for three hours. The whole trip. Drinking beer the whole time. You're a prison for that. I know. I say it was the best, but many times my dad would say, we're going on a trip. Get the truck. Like, dang it. Yeah. Riding in the back. Raining just a little bit. Like the dogs. One of the greatest memories I have is my dad would load up the back of the truck with, you know, he'd do a bunch of yard work, put a bunch of palm, you know, leaves and fronds and all this stuff. We'd drive out to the dump. My dad would have a couple of Coors Originals. Yep. On the drive. On the drive. Yeah. I know. Get to the dump. Open one up. I'd be sitting on his lap, holding onto the steering wheel. He'd be giggling and laughing, and we're driving, and I'm smelling that sweet smell at the dump as you drive in. All of that is good memories for me. Now they don't even let kids in the dump. A lot of dumps you can't even bring your kid into the transfer station. I've seen kids sitting on the concrete out front. Most importantly, they don't even let dads suck down a beer while they're driving anymore. I mean, what's this world coming to?
I'd get on the back of all that stuff. He'd be getting it out of there and I'd be a little kid jumping around. That ain't happening now. I loved going to the dump. I think all kids did. I think I love to do it now. It means you're cleansing stuff. I love it. I love it. I love it. But just those memories as a kid, there's a lot of stuff that, you know, and then there's other things that weren't, you know, a lot of people look at that and they go, ah, your dad is drinking and driving whatever and it wasn't safe to do this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then there was stuff that wasn't. necessarily bad, but that I wish that my kids could experience. I want my kids to go hunting like when I was six, I'd go hunting, dove hunting with my brother. Absolutely. And I remember I wear Menon Speed Stick deodorant to this day because of the memory of being six years old and getting to spend the night over at my brother Mark's place the night before we'd go hunting and I'd get to sleep. In bed with my brother, felt safer than I ever felt in my life. And my brother's deodorant, that Menon speed stick, was such a great smell. It's what I wear today. And getting up in the morning, him waking me up. All right, little man, let's go. And we'd go out. He would teach me everything about that shotgun. And I didn't get to shoot, but I got to be a part of it. And oh, my gosh. I mean, I love my brother, Mark.
More than words can say. And I just remember those memories so fondly. It's just stuff you guys would want that you did as a kid that you're going, yeah, that's what I want my kid to be. I got two and they're both sports related. My little brother and I used to play home run derby in the street with a tennis ball. every single day of the year. And we used to have 10 to 12 kids, and we would have, okay, over that tree's a homer, over that car's a homer, and we would sit out in that street and play for hours and hours and hours. And the other one was Saturday morning football games with your buddies. In high school, tackle football, 17, 18-year-old kids, this was every single Saturday. That feeling, get up, hey, you got leaves to rake, pal. All right, I'll rake the leaves. Rake the crap out of the leaves. Go put your gear on. Haul ass down to the field and everybody's there warming up. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Yeah, because in the background, man, you can hear. I can smell it, dude. I can smell it. I can smell it. In the background, you can hear sprinklers. Yep. Where they were maybe watering another part of that grass. Part of the field, yeah. You're out there. You can smell that fresh grass. Freshly mowed. And it's going to be a hot day, but it's not hot yet. Yep. But it's warming up.
You could smell it. And you could smell it on the grass where the sun's starting to warm that dew up and you could smell all that. It's good stuff, man. Just beating the crap out of each other all day and then going and eating and then coming back and doing it again. Or if you're Mike, just eating more and more and more. Just snacks in your pocket. Remember that, Mike? Snacks in your shoes. Smell of breakfast and then lunch, then dinner. Mike, remember you just reach in your pocket, pull out some bacon, snack. Remember, that was the only thing that kept you going, the promise of the next meal. That's a king size. King size. Remember that, Mike? Anyway. Just letting kids play outside, you know? I mean, I used to stay out there until the street lights came on. I was allowed to be out there. And then if I wasn't back before the lights came on, then I'd hear my mom yelling for me to come in. That breaks my heart, dude. That was the best. You know, Lauren, I saw a commercial the other day for some insurance company. And they're showing this little kid, probably like seven years old or something. And he's getting off of this bus. He's getting off of like a school bus. And he's walking home by himself and walks up to the front door of his house. Green yard in the front, white house. Walks up to the door, puts the key in the lock, turns it, goes inside, blah, blah, blah. And I'm watching it and I'm nervous. Yeah.
And I'm thinking to myself, what if some sex pervert is seeing this kid and kidnaps him? Because that's where we are now. Now, here's something interesting. My brother Mark, my brother that I was just telling you, he says he doesn't believe that. He doesn't believe that we are less safe today. I said, what do you mean? He says, there is no more kidnapping. And there is no more child molestation and there's no more of that happening today than there was in the 1940s or 30s. And I said, all right, I'll hear you out. I'll indulge you. I'll indulge you. He says, when it happens now, it's all over CNN. And not only is it on CNN, it's tweeted and it's put up on signs on the freeway. And then you read about it on the Internet. And then you see it on the five o'clock news and you see it in about a billion different places. Back in the 70s, we didn't have the Internet. We didn't have cell phones and text. We didn't have Twitter. We didn't have Facebook. We didn't have the big street signs that tell you, look for this license plate. He said, but it was happening. But we had Walter Cronkite. So we were hearing about Vietnam and we were hearing about President Reagan getting shot. And we were hearing about. So we didn't hear about.
little johnny or blah blah he said but there's been perverts for sure all along i agree all along now he says that we live in a generation of fear and that's why we don't let our kids go out until the streetlights come on but i challenge him to put that to the test he doesn't you know his kid has grown up now but i challenge him to put it to the test and i said would you allow your kid to go run around in the neighborhood till the streetlights came on he said absolutely He said, I read a book by this woman, black woman in New York who wrote a book. And the book is about the fallacy of safety. There are the fallacy of fear. She made headlines because she let her 12 year old son go from Harlem to some other place on the subway and travel on the subway system all by himself. Like 10, 11 years old. Nothing happened to him. Even him telling me that made my heart go.
He said, it's not any different from before. It's just that we've been conditioned to be afraid. I'd like to see the empirical evidence. He says that there was. He says the book shows empirical evidence that there is no more. Which I say is a bunch of crap. Me and Mark argue about everything. And I don't believe him. He'll send me something from Wikipedia and I still don't believe him. M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Okay, I have a lighter note. Yeah. So, Mikey, I think you mentioned this before in the past, but I grew up in, I was born in 81, and I grew up craving a certain song and not being able to download it or just get it instantly. And so my sister and I, we used to sit by the radio with the tape all set, like our fingers on the button, waiting. And it makes me sad that kids now, it's like, oh, I want that new Lady Gaga song. Two seconds. Boom.
They got it. And I have full-on tapes of... little blurbs of radio DJs talking and all of a sudden it's like, click Paula Abdul straight up. I used to call in requests and make a request for my girlfriend, Kim, and then get the tape where it said, and this one's going out to Kim from Steve. And then this is Brian Adams. Everything I do, I do it for you. And you enjoy it more because there's that build up and there's that desire and it's not just at your fingertips. I think that people now, young people, don't really get that, that you have to really work for your music. And if it's your favorite song, you have to want it. Ninja, was that the song that you actually waited for and taped? Was Paula Abdul? Oh, there were so many. Paula Abdul, Tiffany. Yeah. A lot of new kids on the block. Yeah. Tiffany, Wish We Were Alone Now, or Tiffany... I think we're alone now. I think we're alone now. I think we're alone now. Creepy song. That was a favorite. Thank you, Ninja.
We appreciate it. This is the one that I remember, waiting for the DJ to play. I had the flu, and I didn't care. I was throwing up and waiting for KSJO to play Modern Day Cowboy again. I waited three hours, and they finally played it, and I got it on cassette, pal. Do you remember going to buy records, man? Oh, yeah. Buy tapes? Oh, yeah. My friend Fenwick and I, we knew the day that Use Your Illusion 1 and 2 were coming out. We skipped first period to go to the mall to buy 1 and 2. Really? Yeah. When I wanted the lyrics to something, I would tape it and then sit there with my ear to the speaker of the boombox and play it. Oh, yeah. Then rewind it and write it out. Write it out? I had notebooks full of lyric songs that were right or not. That's awesome. Good old days. First record that I ever bought with my own money. I have two first records. I have my actual first record. Then I have my first cool record. My actual first record was Endless Love. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that, pal. There's so much wrong with that. Great song. Nice Bieber. How old were you? Nice Bieber.
I liked it. What was yours, Jay? Iron Maiden? No, The Clash, London Calling. You know that. Woody Guthrie. The Ramones, Mike. The Ramones, Mike. You know it. You know it, Mike. I think it was actually an 8-track first, but my first album was 1978 as the Beatles, I think it was. Of course it was. Aren't you cool? Of course it was. I had no idea. You know who he's like? He's like Kurt Cobain. You know Kurt Cobain used to tell everybody, my first concert was the Melvins. You know what his first concert was? Sammy freaking Hagar. And everybody said... Oh, that's weird because we remember him showing up to school in his Sammy Hagar t-shirt from the concert the night before. The 45 I got was Elton John, The Bitch Is Back. I bet the first record you bought was David Cassidy. Captain and Tennille. I had older sisters that made sure that I picked. The Monkees. This was the first cool record I bought. Yes!
I wore this out. I mean, I mean, I mean, wore it out. This was my mom. Enough, Miguel. Enough. How great was this freaking record? There was nothing better than photograph. Not on iTunes. No. Not on iTunes. Not on iTunes. And it was, listen, there's a time when it was just on vinyl. Get a bite on vinyl. Oh, give me some, dude. That's real good. Give me some. You know what was great about it? Same thing that's great about rock and roll from the history of rock and roll. Mom and dad just didn't get it. Didn't like it. Mom, what do you think of photographs? These devil worshippers. Yeah. You ever just make giant Def Leppard posters for your room handmade in crayon? Yeah. I did. You ever just write your name in Def Leppard font? Yeah. You master...
the Def Leppard font so that you can spell everything like that on your peachy folder. That's it, buddy. Maybe we should have a Def Leppard hour every week. I'll tell you what, man. I'll tell you what. It took them about three and a half to four years, I think, to make their next record. Def Leppard Pyromania, I think, was triple platinum. It was probably the biggest hit for a rock band up to that time. I mean, in terms of record sales. Mutt Lang produced it. Right. Same guy that married and then cheated on Shania Twain. Right. But I can only imagine when they were like, well, it's time to go back. Well, I really can't make it back because, see, I've lost an arm. It's all right. Don't worry about it. You know what we do? We'll give you petals. I'm a drummer. I can sing. You play the drums and I'll sing. Don't be foolish.
I've got one arm. I see that. A freaking Jaguar rolled over on my arm. It was your Jaguar. I know. It was a little bit tipsy, but it's all right. Minus the little, but... It's not the time for judgment. I've already lost an arm. I think I've suffered enough. It's not about judgment. It's about common sense. I get it. You're perfect. It's about common sense. It's not that. It's not that. I've seen you put down a few cocktails in your day. Okay, maybe 150 miles an hour down a thoroughfare. Fair enough. Fair enough. So anyway, I guess I'll be seeing you chaps later. No, you won't. You're still in a band. I've got one arm. I'm a drummer. I understand. This is what we're going to do. Will you listen to me for a moment? You're going to drum with your feet. Don't laugh and don't get me that look. I'm not trying to be cruel. Do I look like I'm laughing? I'm not being cruel. It's like being a porn star with no wiener. It isn't. It's different than that. How? Well, first of all, I'd like to remind you, there's a child in the room. I keep forgetting. It's all right. Anyways. Oh, boy. We'll put pedals on the floor. Let me try this. We'll put pedals on the floor. It's not working. Listen. Oh, no. It's not working. Hold on, listen. That's all I can do. Look. Listen to me. This is what drives me crazy. This is it. This is what drives me crazy about you. You don't have an open mind. I know. I'm one less arm. Step inside.
Just try to keep a beat here. Okay, ready? One arm. That's great. It's electronic. It's alright. It works. It's alright. It works. I see how you mute my feet. Hey, it's your feet. That's what I told you. That's alright. Now, listen, mate. Now, listen, can you give me a cup of tea? Because I'm going to hold my drumstick in this hand. Yeah, I'll give you a cup of tea. Hold it right up to my mouth. I've got to talk to you. I'll be serious. Hey, can you pin the sleeve back? Shut it for a minute. Stop it. My sleeve's a little loose. Pin it back. Everything's not a joke around here, Rick. Sorry, Joe. Listen to me. I think he's being quite serious. I am being serious. His sleeve's in the way. My sleeve's in the way. It's dragging in my dressing. So he wasn't being... My dressing. He's got his feet on the drums. I thought he was making a joke. He's got one hand with a drumstick. A sleeve in my gravy. His sleeve's in the way. Listen to me. When we're on the road. Right. Don't walk to the girls.
Don't. All right. I'll take care of it. That's pretty harsh. Harsh it is. You know, it's like... Harsh it needs to be. Nobody wants to go out with the one-armed man, I guess. And isn't that Rick... We can use it to our advantage. Oh. Sympathy, mate. Oh, feel sorry for him. Yeah, I know. We all had to pick up the pieces. Hey, look at his stomp. Look at his stomp, you know? Yeah, I know. He's going to have fun with it. It makes us look better. Yeah, plus, hanging out with a one-arm, man, is going to make you look pretty good. Think about what two-arms can do. I hadn't thought of it that way, Rick. I'm ready. I'm taking you everywhere we go. Let's roll. A freaking gold mine. A one-arm bastard, you. New releases coming up next. Oh, yeah? Yep. Oh, Woods. As soon as Woods gets on the internet. Got an incredible story to tell you that has to do with Twitter. Oh, those Foo Fighters are good. They have two arms. Imagine being able to play like Dave Grohl and sing like Dave Grohl. Let's make some noise in here. We got a live studio audience here today. Be right back.
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I wore t-shirts and pants. Chris raises his hand. You guys are clowns. We just like to have sex with girls. Overalls, you don't really have to iron, Jay. Do you iron your fishing pole? Seriously. You are embarrassing. We just wore loincloths. You iron a burlap sack? Did you have to wear a uniform? You know, when you were in the Civil War. Yeah, I did then. Woods has new releases. Damn it, I meant to get them. I got them. I got them. It's good. It's all good. Just hang on. Hold on, buddy. Hang on. Don't. Don't. Let's just wait for Woods. I never got a response back from Jay that we were all good. Oh, because I had to load. Yeah, he loads them, and then I'm supposed to get a response back. I never did. So, hmm. It's all good. I'll be here in a second. Are you guys everybody doing this? Are you good? Excuse me.
Something's happening right now in Libya. Like, they're bombing Tripoli right now. Probably go live to that. The tenure of this leader. Well, I've listened to the speeches of Arab leaders for the last 15 years, and everyone from Saddam Hussein, the Yasser Arafat, one of my first jobs was translating... Black smoke coming out of Tripoli. ...reports that came in from the Arab League. Listening to Muammar Gaddafi's speeches, they were not the speeches of a sane person. They rambled. You couldn't follow any... Woods, are you ready to go? Yeah, absolutely. Well, there's a few new releases out today. The good stuff is we've got the new Barbara Streisand. Thank you. Mikey. All the ripples from a pebble someone tosses in a stream. Like a clock whose hands are sweeping. That sounds awesome. Who is this targeting to? Hey, listen. She used to be good. No, she didn't.
She was a unicorn, bro. Yeah, she was. She was a freaking unicorn. So was Liberace. No, Liberace wasn't a unicorn. Now, in all seriousness, Woods, I'm not a Streisand fan. One song, one song. Evergreen. Evergreen. Misty water-colored memories. Evergreen gets me. You know she was a unicorn, though, right? She could sing, yeah, but... I mean, she could sing. I mean, whether you're into it or not, it's another thing, but the woman could sing. I wouldn't go see her. She was beautiful. No. Oh, my God. What? She was pretty. That never happened. You need to go see Dr. Sandy T. Feldman at Clearview Island. She was a knockout when she was young. I'm with him. She was in... Hey, what was that movie she was in? Funny Girl? No. Funny Girl. Funny Girl. That one? Yeah, dude. Star is born? Not star is born. But funny girl when she was young, when she was in her 20s. Hey, what's the matter with you? Hey. It wasn't that her deal. In the 20s, when she was in her 20s, she was cute. She was. She had that weird cute, you know? In the 20s. Imperfect. Oh, yeah, this is the new Dave Stewart. You know who Dave Stewart is? You're killing me. I was in Dave Stewart's music video. It's not working. How come you don't have a piece of paper with him on? He didn't send it back to me. I don't have to.
Yeah, you do. If there's a problem, I'll send it back to you. You didn't send anything back to me. Dave Stewart. From the Eurythmics. I'll print it out for you, Woods, too. Yeah, I'll print it out for you and I'll bring it to you. And maybe I'll just hold it for you as well. I can just hold it in front of you. Maybe I'll wipe for you, Woods. Yeah. If you pull Mikey's chair out and heat up his spaghetti, you can print out something for me. You're unprofessional. You're inept. You know it. You're unprofessional. Fine. This is the new... Oh. So the Muppets... New Muppets movie's coming out. And this has all kinds of cool bands like Weezer, My Morning Jacket. I don't know which one he picked. Weezer. What do you do? You take mushrooms and you listen to this? It's a permit song redone. Yeah, you go see the Muppets.
Let's get high and listen to this album. It's for kids. It is? The Muppets? Yes. My Morning Jacket, Weezer, there's a bunch of cool bands on there. So that the parents can enjoy what the kids are watching. Boom. Why must you? Stephen Malkus and the Jicks is out today. I feel right at home inside the woodshed. Give as good as I do get. I should be a singer for Pavement, Mike. I know you're a big Pavement fan. He was in Pavement. Yes. You just imitated putting a gun in your mouth. Why? Oh, because the music made me want to blow my head off. Can we get the long version of this in? Also, the new MXPX is out today. Sounds like the Lamones and Blink had a baby. Yeah, it kind of does. And the game is out today, L.O.B. Chanel. Chanel. I'm in on that. I'm in on that. Oh, yeah. You in?
There you go. I like R&B. That ain't R&B. This ain't R&B either. This ain't R&B for sure. Let's make some noise in the studio. We have a live studio audience in here. It has been confirmed where Casey Anthony is. Shut up. And we will tell you next. or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple.
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Like 60 of those rings are on her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Hey, Terry. Hey, what's up, Frankie? Hey, I can't wait for this weekend, man. It's finally here. You know what? I got you for your birthday. Tickets to Nassau. I'm going to see you. The Hootie. The Hooties, baby. We going to see the Hooties. Melissa. Melissa. Yeah. We're going to see the Hooties. The Hooties. Freaking Hooties. I'm taking my shirt off. Of course you are. The Hooties. Look at my Hooties. The Hooties. Put your shirt back on, Melissa. Why? You're making a fool of all of us. You told me to do it. Yeah, but we're in the back of a truck. We're going to get pulled over. We are in a stoplight. We're on the Long Island Expressway going to see the Hooties.
Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. You make it like my wife makes it when we go to Benihana. I do? Yep. It's like she will concede that we can go to Benihana. Yeah, we can go. And then we get there and you know what she does? What? She whines. I'm going to be whining like a mofo today. Just FYI. Let's call that Tuesday. Yeah, it's just been what's been happening the past four hours. Is that right? Both of you. How do you know? You've been asleep under those glasses. I am not. You guys have been crying all day. You've been welding all morning. I'm being forced to watch a German subtitled movie. You guys should just kiss and get over it. Hey, Iron Man. Fair enough. I am wearing my sunglasses inside. She's got her sunglasses on. Of course she does. Corey Hart over here has been yelling at us on break a long time. I know, because all day you guys have been bitching and moaning about this movie. I haven't.
He won't have enough. Why won't you have enough wine? Watch a movie I want to watch. What about Donnie Brasco? It's a mob movie. It's rad. And you have it on Blu-ray. It is rad. It's freaking rad. You don't like movies. No, I like good movies. You don't like movies. I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. That was an accusation against you, Mike. No. I'm not trying to be Leonard Maltin here, pal. I'm Steve Woods. I'm all-American man, okay? I eat a Kraft American Singles. That's right. I drive a Chevy truck. I dip Copenhagen Long and I drink Budweiser. No, I used to smoke Marlboros. Let's watch an American movie about the American mob. I will say. If you can drive over to my house listening to the turds and, you know. The Racket Conspiracy, then you can go over there and watch Das Boot. You should have to watch Johnny Brasco. No, he should have to come to the Ryan freaking Adams concert with me, but he won't. If it wasn't on a weekday, I'd go. Yeah, dude, I've seen Cuts Like a Knife. I've seen Summer 69. I've seen all those songs, man. I heard he's friends with Dave Couillet. Yeah. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Who's Taylor Swift? I don't know who Taylor Swift is. I mean, some people are going to go see that concert, aren't they? Oh.
Taylor Swift. That's the guy that invented the Swiffer jet. The thing that cleans. It's like the broom. I think he meant Taylor Swift. Oh, Swift. No. I heard him say Taylor Swift. He did say Taylor Swift. There's a T in there somewhere. Say it again, Jay. Taylor Swift. There you go. That was right. Who's the maker of the Wii? All right. I have a suggestion. Who makes the Wii? Nintendo. That's right, Jay. Nintendo. I have an idea. Ferris Fair. What, Woods? We want to spend some time together outside of work. Don't be a jerk about this movie. We're watching it today. Listen, I have a coin in my hand. Dosh Boot or Donnie Brosco. You've already made your bed. We already have a deal. Yeah, you already made your bed, Woods. Just lay in it. Wear some wooden clogs. It'd be nice if you worked on a radio show that one time somebody was on your side. Just one time. Wouldn't it be great if one time your friend pretended to have an open mind? Just one time. I've tried to tell Mike multiple times. Will you just leave him alone with the movie thing? And he doesn't listen. And you give in. And this is what happens. Yeah, but I'm being bribed. So I like bribes. Wouldn't it be great one time you have a friend? Open mind!
My mind is open to American films without subtitles. Why is it so important to you that he watches this film? Because he wants to force it upon me. I'll tell you why. Because when you... Before, Lauren, before you ever tried fried chicken, you didn't know what it tasted like. Right. Maybe somebody tells you, oh, it's so dumb, you're not going to like it. And then you taste fried chicken, you're like... What are they talking about? It's freaking good. It's been called one of the best films ever made. Lauren doesn't like chicken. Fine. I do like chicken. She doesn't like beef. I thought you don't eat it. I don't like fried chicken. 570. I need my chickens. M1 Chris from Oceanside. Buddy. What's up? You know, you did get me with, what was it? A turtle. Yeah. concert you can go to where you can have a clairvoyant, a median, and drink and watch a show. Yeah. But you haven't seen Donnie Brasco? Nope. Yeah. Isn't that blasphemy? No, but I'll watch it. Yeah, I will. And I'll watch it happily because I've never seen it and I'll watch it and I'll have an open mind about it. You'll watch it today. And I thought Doss Boot was like a beer drinking movie. Oh, God. This movie's going to be so... It's going to suck ass. Has anyone seen it?
Yeah, 70 Germans that live in Germany have seen it. Is it subtitled? Yes. Of course it is. Yes, I have seen it. I watch a lot of IFC foreign films I have. Oh, my God. But there's one with Matthew McConaughey that's better than that. It's called, I think, like, what, U571 or something? I've seen that, too. I've seen that. I'll bring over a carafe of wine and a beret, and we'll sit. I'll bring over a book of Walt Whitman poetry, and we'll just pretend to be fancy. You're going to like it. There's cursing. I like cursing. German cursing? Yeah. Cool. Yeah, but he can read what it means in English and he'll love it. M1, North Idaho. Ironically from North Idaho. Ironically. I know. Go figure. What's going on? I wanted to announce a couple days ago we brought a new M1 into the world. Who is it? What's his or her name? It's a little baby girl named Jocelyn and we're going to meet her at M1 Tater Tot. There you go. Nice. I wonder if she likes Das Boot. My wife did say that it was a miracle, Mikey. Just a heads up. Aww. Well, a miracle is something that doesn't happen all the time. Oh, boy. Oh, Mikey. Hey, I'm just saying, she just told me to pass along to you. It is a miracle. Why? Made her kind of upset, but, I mean, I'm sure she'll forgive you. Why was it a miracle? Because there wasn't a person, and now there is. Yes. That's a miracle. Happens every day.
Millions of times. Miracles happen every day, haven't you? Yeah, they happen every day. There's approximately four billion of those on there. The miracle was the nine-pound, seven-ounce baby. I think that's what the miracle was. Oh, wow. Yeah. All right. Ouch. Well, thank you. Love your show, guys. Thank you. Love your show. You to hoe. I was wanting to say that. 5701949 is the number. I know, man. It just makes it so... You just think, you know, he'd just have an open mind and be cool. All you can do is lay around anyway. Take what I can get. Was that right, Jay? Yeah. The guy from Ashford and Simpson passed away. That's too bad. I love it. This song right here was his big hit back in 84.