The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/24/11
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
earthquakePadres haircut betDas Boot reviewGaddafi lootingHawkeye dog storyCarolyn car thefthuge in Japan motorcycle accidentplastic surgery segmentcable guy flirtationlove at first sightpadres haircutdas boot
The show opened with Mikey discussing the recent 5.8‑magnitude earthquake that was felt across multiple states, calling it a 'tween' quake and noting a crack in the Washington Monument. He then spoke with Kate, a friend in New York who described feeling the quake while interviewing an NYPD officer who compared the sensation to 9-11. Later, the hosts debated Woods' obligation to get a fryer's haircut if the Padres won six in a row, with Woods resisting the idea despite listener pressure. Other memorable moments included Woods' review of the film Das Boot, the story of a caller whose motorcycle accident left him injured, and a segment about a 75‑year‑old woman getting breast implants.
What happened, in order
Earthquake Tween
Mikey calls the 5.8‑magnitude quake a 'tween' earthquake, noting the crack in the Washington Monument and comparing its intensity to a preteen.
Kate’s Gwyneth Look
Friend Kate joins the call and Mikey says she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow’s better‑looking sister.
Padres Streak Bet
Woods discusses the Padres’ five‑game winning streak and the looming fryer’s‑tuck haircut if they win a sixth.
Das Boot Renamed
Woods says he watched Das Boot, renamed it ‘Das Get’ then ‘Das Inn’, and shares his thoughts on the submarine film.
Gaddafi Looted
The hosts report that Gaddafi has fled Libya, looters are seen wearing Timbaland shirts and taking guns, toasters, and karaoke machines from his compound.
Hawkeye’s Loyalty
Caller tells the story of Navy SEAL T. Tumelson’s funeral where his dog Hawkeye lay down beside the casket, showing deep loyalty.
Carolyn’s Stolen Car
Carolyn describes how her car was stolen, she chased it down, and police later found it three blocks away in Portland.
Huge in Japan Accident
A caller who says he’s ‘huge in Japan’ recounts a motorcycle crash where he flew 45 feet, shattered his arm, and lost his thumb.
Nick Swisher’s Afghanistan Honeymoon
Mikey mentions that Yankees outfielder Nick Swisher is spending his honeymoon visiting troops in Afghanistan.
75‑Year‑Old Implants
Sherry Cook, a 75‑year‑old woman, explains why she’s getting a breast lift and implants to avoid looking like an oatmeal box.
Cable Guy Flirt
Mikey imagines a cute cable guy asking for his number and the studio reacts to the idea of a flirtatious encounter.
Love at First Sight Debate
The crew argues whether love at first sight is real, citing movies like The Notebook and personal experiences.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayChrisKateRobert HarrisGwyneth PaltrowMaxwell DentTimbalandGaddafiJunior SeauPat SummittWill Smith
37,097 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Oh, my goodness. It's a big news day. There's a lot happening out there. First, I want to tell you this. Your word of the day today is allowance, and that'll get you, if you're calling nine when you hear it, a $50 certificate to Crossroads at the House of Blues. They have an all-new menu created by Aaron Sanchez, who's been on the Food Network, and then also a pair of tickets to see Arctic Monkeys with TV on the radio. So you get both prizes. Very cool. I just want to tell you that right off the bat. I also, right off the bat, want to, in case you're new listening to The Mikey Show, let you know that I'm Mikey, the host of the show. Woods sits right across from me, and he's 36. He's our sports guy. Our assistant producer and comedian is Lauren O'Brien, L-O-B. She is a blondie. The guy sitting in the other room.
Separated by Glass is our producer. His name is Jay, also known as Jacef R. Isbell or Jason R. Isbell, neither of which are his actual name, just something that we call him. And then there is our phone screener, 22-year-old Chris. That's Kraut. That's Kraut! Okay, so a lot of things to talk about. First of all, the biggest thing out there is the earthquake yesterday, which is... For Californians, nothing. But in New York City, where this happened, well, it didn't actually happen. The epicenter was in Virginia, in a little railroad town in Virginia. But this thing was felt over 22 different states. Washington, D.C. In fact, in D.C., the National Park Service said that there's a crack near the top of the Washington Monument. Now, this was a 5.8, which to Californians is a medium-sized earthquake. It's not a baby, and it's also not a toddler. I would call that earthquake a tween. Preteen. Yeah, you know, you're not a girl, you're not yet a woman. The difference being, though, structurally they're set up differently, and...
I read geologically, the rocks are different. Yep. So it resonates differently. Well, not only that, Elleby, it was the biggest earthquake they've had there in 67 years. Wow. Yep. And Elleby is right. They're not retrofitted like we are. And so you saw a lot of crumbled rooftops of brick buildings and things like that. But for us... A 5.8, I'll speak for myself, it's not enough to scare the pants off me. I was there for the Loma Prieta quake in 89, the World Series quake, and that was a 6.9. They've called it anything from 6.9 to 7.1. I've heard it called 6.9, 7, and 7.1. And it was a scary. Like, scare the poop out of you, earthquake. What was the one we had here last Easter? My first one. Oh, that was a baby. That was a baby? Oh, yeah, dude. That one scared the crap out. Oh, that was a baby. That SLB shook my bed. I had hot wings. It was a long one. There was Hooters hot wings all over my bed. The epicenter there was Calexico, I think. And that was a baby. Compared to... Calexico Burroughs? Yes, Calexico Burroughs. That's weird. But...
Anyway, a friend of ours, M1 Kate, lives in New York City. Oh, yeah. And is on the line right now. Hi, Kate. Hi, Kate. Are you there? I'm here. Hey, before we get started, I've never asked you this before, so I'm going to ask you, who do people tell you that you look like? What celebrity? Oh, wow. Gosh, I don't know. I don't think anybody's ever told me. Really? What do you have in mind? You, I believe that you are Gwyneth Paltrow's better looking sister. Yeah, I can see it too. But anyway, Kate's a friend of ours. She does. She kind of looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. She does. Prettier. Prettier. She's in New York City.
and was on, but she's from California, right, Kate? I was in grad school out there and worked out there for a while. Okay, so, but now you, now she's engaged to a guy that lives in New York City, and she lives in New York City, and how long you been there? I've been here a little over a year. And you were on the 14th floor yesterday? Yeah. So, Kate, had you been through earthquakes in California? Oh, yeah. Were they bigger than the one that you felt in New York yesterday? Yes. Okay. I don't remember when they were, but yeah. So tell me what you were doing at the moment that this 5.8 quake hit. Okay. So I worked with NYU doing some research with PTSD and was interviewing an NYPD officer.
As we're going through the interview, I start to feel the earthquake. And in my head, I'm like, oh, that's an earthquake and didn't really register that I was in New York at the time. And so it didn't really save me until I looked outside and I could see kind of the building kind of moving. Yeah. Which was a little scary. These buildings are really old. Yeah. So I looked up at the officer and his eyes were just. Very wide. He looked like he was in the state of panic. Because he's an NYPD. He's from New York. He's not used to it. He ain't used to it like you are. So I had no idea what was going on with him at the time. But what I found out makes a lot of sense. So he came over to the window and he kind of looked outside. And I asked him if this really feels like an earthquake. Do you guys can leave here?
And he was like, you know, the last time I felt this was 9-11. And he was convinced that we were being attacked again. And he was pacing in the office. He pulled out his phone. He was, you know, just kind of on high alert. I bet a lot of people thought that. Yeah. My dad thought that, too. 100%. Yeah, and I never would have thought that, but it makes total sense to see that, just how that sensation can be. trigger that well what's you know what's crazy too what's crazy too is it's a decade it's been a decade been a decade and we're still it's raw still oh yeah wrong doesn't it still feel gnarly raw brother i was at the i went to a yankee game i think two years after that three years after that and i was waiting for my girlfriend's friend to meet us by the big bat and i didn't know they were doing a flyover before the game you know they do the
F-16 flyover. When that thing happened, I was standing outside. Those planes flew over. I fell to the ground, as did 15,000 other people waiting outside. Wow, dude. Everybody goes, and drops to the ground. Then I'm like, oh, wow, that was just a flyover. And, you know, had to check my shorts. Yeah. It was petrifying. Yeah. But, I mean. Ten years later. But, Kate, again, we're talking to M1 Kate, who lives in New York City. and was in the 14th floor yesterday. And how long did the earthquake last? I think we felt it for maybe 30, 45 seconds. It's a long earthquake. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Feels like forever. Feels like forever. Yeah. But, you know, what I wanted to mention is these guys, these officers are really, I mean, they have incredible coping mechanisms. They're extremely resilient and a strong emotional response, too. They just kind of do their job because they have to. That's pretty awesome. New Yorkers, man. You were in good hands. Yeah, but to see this reaction. Sorry about Jay. And that just shows how intense that. Only Jay can turn an earthquake into a sexual connotation reference. Did you say the earthquake? If the building's shaking, yeah, don't come a-knocking, I guess. It's kind of weird, you know, you're just- you're talking to-
Talking to a person all the way over in New York about an earthquake. She experienced it. And there's a guy that's still just got, you know, 14-year-old sex hormones running through his body. Like a sex pervert. Talking about a police officer being scared of a possible 9-11 second attack. That he probably lived through. He did, yeah. And then had lost some compadres in there. And all Jay can think about is his 14-year-old wiener. Yes. Wow, he's a 107-year-old wiener. Well, yeah. Wiener time. You know that from... Cutting in half, counting the rings. Exactly. You silly sausage. Well, Kate, we're glad everybody's all right. And thank you for giving us a firsthand report. Send us a picture. Oh, weird, weird, weird. When are you getting married? In a month. Is today the 24th? Oh, my goodness. A month from today. A month from today. Congratulations. Are you nervous? Yes. Wow. Crawling out of my skin. Is it because of your wedding night? Are you nervous? Yeah, first time. It gets to be your first time. First time. There you go. A little scared. Hey, well, congratulations and, you know, all that stuff. Thank you so much, guys. All right, Kate. We'll talk to you later. Get some. All right. Have a good show. Bye. Bye. Padres.
Five in a row. Don't say it. Oh, somebody's got a frowny face. If they win one more game, if they win one more game in a row, Woods has got a shave, a fryer's tuck haircut. Stupid Matt Cain and the Giants got me last night. And listen, I'm excited. I'm excited that the Padres have won five in a row. I really enjoy rooting for the Padres. They're so far out of the race that I'm like, great, five in a row. Now the only thing is I've got to get a fryer haircut if they win tonight. They've got to take on the freak, Tim Lincecum. So, listen, I don't want this haircut. I'm going to do it because I said I would, but I don't want it. I don't want it at any cost. But, yeah, they won their fifth straight. And some of our listeners I don't think are real good at math because. They were writing me messages saying, yeah, you bring those Clippers in tomorrow, brother. That's five in a row. It's five, not six. So they have not. Okay. See, I thought so, too. Look, it's right here on the paper. Real off, season's best, fifth straight win. They are one win away. They won yesterday 7-5. They beat Matt Cain and the San Francisco Giants in San Francisco.
And I will tell you, I'm nervous. I'm really, really, really nervous. What are you nervous about? Because I've got to get a fryer's haircut. Look at these beautiful locks. They're gorgeous now. I finally got it the way I want it. Isn't that gorgeous? Ten years I've been waiting to have hair like this. I know it. And it's finally come through for you. I'm finally a fat Bradley Cooper, man. Oh, wow. And now what? Now you're going to have to shave it off. Well, at least the top. Again? I still need more clarification if I have to do this thing, what I actually have to do once I get it. You're supposed to go to a baseball game. You're supposed to go to a Padres game. I don't want to do that. You already said it. Yeah, you already said it. Well, we're all going to the game next week. You're not going to sit in a luxury skybox. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. You said you're going to get your haircut. Even if the game was a week away, you were going to get it done then. I will get the haircut, but now you're saying that the game that we're all going to doesn't count? No.
No, of course it doesn't. We ever just make up rules real good? No. I'm wearing it and I'm going to that game. We are not making up any rules. That's a made up rule. No. See, well, wait a minute. All I'm going to do is give you logic here, buddy. Okay. What was the purpose of having you go to a Padre game? What was the purpose? Because it's a Padre haircut. Right, but what's the purpose of having you go to the game? What was the point? Just so people could see it. And it would be embarrassing? Yeah, it's going to be embarrassing. Right. But if we don't go out amongst the public, they won't see you. Well, they'll see me because I'm not going to hover to my seat. I'm going to be walking around that stadium. I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. They're going to see me. I'll do some walk-arounds. But I don't want to have to go back to another game with it. Just give me a break. You've got to go to a game. M1 Robert from San Diego. What's going on? Hello, sir. I hear you called me out yesterday. Oh. This Robert Harris? Oh, yes it is, sir. Hello. Oh, hello, Robert Harris. Arch nemesis. Yes, you are my arch nemesis. I'm glad you're calling in this morning. I suppose you're calling in because you want to get a report, eh? If you want to... You want to give...
You want to give a report? Yes. Yes, I do. Woods had to watch Das Boot yesterday. And he's referred to it only as Das Get. Yep. Das Get. And Woods, what did you think of it? I've changed the name of Das Get to Das Inn. Wow. All the way in. Wow. Loved it. Oh, no. Loved it. Freaking great movie, man. Why did you think he would hate it, Robert Harris? Because it's about 19 days long, and nothing really happens until the end. It's a little long. I'll tell you what, and let me lay out for you why I liked it. Number one, cinematography. We do have that on the schedule later today, but if you guys want to go into it now, go ahead. Well, since the listeners didn't know about it being on the schedule later today, I guess we will. We can, and we can revisit. Huh? We can revisit. No, it's fine. Okay. It's fine. I loved it. I loved it. My only complaint was we watched 95% of it in German with the subtitles. And I asked Mike at the end with about, what, 10 minutes left. I go, switch it over to English and let me kind of see what that was like. And I liked it better in English. Because I was eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. Mike and I had some KFC. And I was trying to eat my breast.
And I kept having to look up because I didn't want to spill on his floor because I had to read the subtitles. I'll tell you what, though. Cinematography, freaking cool. Real cool inside the tight spaces in the submarine. Also, the characters were badass. The meth guy that ran the boiler room, he was great. The captain was the biggest hard ass I'd ever seen. The first mate guy was awesome. What about the suspense when they were... You know, when they were depth charging the submarine. When the submarine hits the sea floor, I sat up. I looked at Mike. I go, well, what now? I go, how deep are they? He gets out his phone. He looks. He goes, they're 850 feet deep, and their submarine doesn't work. My heart started pounding. Oh, yeah. It started pounding. It started pounding. As many times I've seen it, and I've seen it a lot, and I know how it ends, it still gets me even when I know how it's going to turn out. There's a needle that's buried that shows them where they are. So they get everything fixed up. They're bailing water out of this thing. And then they're trying to make sure, they're trying to get the submarine to lift. Because if they don't lift, they're in a watery grave. They're done. They're going to run out of air. They're going to die in that tube. And this needle is just buried. And then they start firing the engines. And you see the needle come up and you see the subs start to rise to the top. Dude, I think I clapped. I think I was like, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! It's really, it's good. I'm surprised that M1 Robert Harris hated it as much as he did.
We're going to have to do a viewing, just you and I, Robert. That sounds great. Within the viewing, we throw in maybe Maid or Christmas Vacation. I'm going to watch. I did watch Christmas Vacation. I'm going to try to watch. Yeah, I watched it with you. Or I watched it. Not with me. And I'm going to try to watch Donna Brasco this weekend. Yeah. All right. Well, hey, Woods, one quick thing. You have been a victim of a movie assault, so you might want to call and talk to some people. Yes, I probably need to call the authorities. There's a hotline for that. He was movie assaulted. There's no doubt about it. But, you know, this time he enjoyed the film. Do you want to know the funniest thing that got me into the movie? Thanks, Robert. Yeah. The captain. Yeah. And tell everybody why. Right when he walks in the room, I go, oh, I know that dude. He was in Beverly Hills Cop 2. Beverly Hills Cop 2. He played Maxwell Dent. I know Maxwell Dent. The arms dealer. Oh, my gosh. You remember that? Yeah. Yeah, the guy at the kick him out of the Playboy Mansion. Right, right. Dude, Beverly Hills Cop's a huge movie. And I go, well, he's in it. I'm in on it. He instantly likes it because of that. I'll let you enjoy it for the both of us. There you go. 570-1949. It was good. Hey, here's audio of some dude that works for some company back east who was trying to...
film some commercial when the earthquake hit yesterday. How you doing? I'm David Harmon. I'm the general manager at GNC Tire and Auto. Just thought we'd take this opportunity to show you our new customer waiting room. Hey, you feel that? What was that? My God, I think that was an earthquake. You have to see this video because it's hysterical. He falls on his butt. And I mean, you know how a lot of people say that sort of, metaphorically. You fell on your butt. No, he literally, when he falls down, butt first, plants into the ground. And it's very comical. Now, the only reason I can laugh about it is because he obviously didn't get hurt. And it was a tween earthquake. It wasn't a teenager, it wasn't a toddler, a child. I'll post it on the Facebook page. It's so funny. A lot fell over, though. Yeah.
Yeah, stuff fell over. You see the pictures sliding on the wall, you know. So this was big news yesterday. So Gaddafi's out of power now. He's been in power for a jillion years in Libya. And he is officially out of power and on the run. He is officially a fugitive in his own country. Nobody knows where he is. Weird. But they were able to get into his compound yesterday and loot. I saw a guy on the news that works for the news interviewing people as they're coming out of the compound. Just big gold chains on. Dude, one guy, I'm not kidding you. One guy that had just got done looting Gaddafi's compound is wearing a Timbaland T-shirt. I'm not kidding. And he's got boxes in his hands. And the reporter goes, what do you have? And he's smiling. Like he just got out of Disneyland and he goes, this is guns. I got the guns. There's a toaster oven here. This is a DJ mixing board. I got a microphone. Silver platter. Silver platter. Look at this. Karaoke machine. Karaoke machine. I got pots, pans, the whole thing. Spoon. Pot. Crazy. Spoon. Freaking Gaddafi had been in power 42 years. Wow. Now the guy's just...
Running through tunnels real good. Yeah, good. Eating canned soup. Yeah. They were showing there's no internet in Libya right now. There was no TV. Sounds awesome. I was watching it and I'm like... Wow, we sure do live in a different type of country than that. We bitch if we don't get ketchup at the drive-thru. Sure. They've run out of gas. They have no medical supplies. I've got to get my freaking hot sauce. I've got to go back to Taco Bell. They're stoked, but they're also really nervous over there. They were showing an aerial from the top of a rooftop of the city. You see the black smoke rising in Tripoli and everything. And I'm like, where's the bed, bath, and beyond? No Sir LaTabs over there, pal. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I can't visibly see a Costco from this perspective. It's amazing. I can't. There's not a Chevron in sight. There's no Denny's. I don't see Denny's. None of it. It's called Lenny's over there. Lenny's. It was so crazy. But anyway, Gaddafi is done. Hurricane Irene.
Oh, she's coming to Florida and she's packing some wins. Category three. Wow. It's a big earthquake or a big old hurricane. It's going towards Florida. Went over the Caribbean. Caused a lot of rain. Turned off power for about a million people. And now it was a category one. Now it's picking up steam. And it's becoming stronger. Scary. Yeah. And it looks like it's going to hit Florida. Come on. Come on. All day. Okay. Everything Woods has ever said about dogs is correct. Woods is a dog lover, loves dogs, says they're extremely intelligent, feel emotions, and really, you know, he really believes that dogs have very...
Human-like emotions. Very much. What I'm going to tell you when we come back. Actually made Woods ball this morning. It's the show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, it's Hillary. And today at noon on FM 94.9, we're doing Desert Island Disc. So what three records would you have to have with you if you were stranded on a deserted island? Are you the Bob Marley sublime Johnny Cash type? Or wouldn't Arcade Fire Radiohead James Addiction Trio float your boat or your raft? I don't care if you pick Black Flag, Melt Banana, and Celine Dion. All right, let's not go that far. Tell us your three favorite records now at FM949SD.com and listen today at noon. Desert Island Discs on FM 94.9.
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Triple Hops brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. Stevie! Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet. I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event. Now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 RX 350 for $4.59 a month for 36 months with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 RX350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid on the Lexus Western areas only and end September 6, 2011. PlayStation 3, the sweetest gaming console around, is now available at only $249. Now for only $249, you can get the biggest and best game. Plus, awesome features like Blu-ray, HD streaming movies, and free access to PlayStation Networks.
PlayStation 3, now only $249. This Sunday, August 28th, it's Del Mar's biggest race of the season, the $1 million TVG Pacific Classic. Come on out and get a free Del Mar sports bag, complete with the Del Mar Diamond logo, free with admission this Saturday. This report is brought to you by Allstate. The more you protect, the more you can save bundle coverage for your car, plus your boat, your motorcycle, or more. Call your local Allstate agent and bundle and save today. Coronado Bridge westbound at the 5-in-accident. Two-car crash. Both pulled over. They're just past that on-ramp. Also, the 52 westbound after Mass Boulevard. There's an accident on the right shoulder. It's a hit and run. This report brought to you by Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. Punch your mouth in the face with the awesome flavor of Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. Head to a convenience store today. to taste Cheetos, honey barbecue snacks, and satisfy the hunger urge you just can't explain. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9.
I want to see Mission Impossible Ghost Recon because of this song. In the trailer, they use this song, and it looks... Tom Cruise, same bit? Yeah, dude, but I'm telling you, man, it looked like the greatest, like, Bond movie. I mean, it was... It looks... I like all those. I like those Mission Impossible. Word of the day... Word of the day is allowance. And at some point between now and 10, I'll say the word allowance. And when I do, caller number nine, give you 50 bucks to Crossroads, at the House of Blues to eat, and tickets to see Arctic Monkeys on TV on the radio, September 24th, SESU, open air. Who's that first band again you just sent? Arctic Monkeys. Air horn birthdays in a minute.
CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared. And the guy is amazing. He makes the most amazing websites. He also does incredible business cards and anything graphic design that you do. In fact, if you're a company, you want to make a billboard, he could do that for you. So check him out. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. This photo is unbelievable. And I'll tell you what. Woods is a... He is a dog fan. The guy just loves dogs. And, you know, one thing that I've always said is, you know, I'm not a cat person, but I do like dogs. What I've never bought into is that dogs have human like emotions. I just thought, I don't know that that's possible. I mean, after all, they're dogs. How could they feel what we feel? T. Tumelson was laid to rest on Friday in Rockford, Iowa. Now, why is this significant? Because the guy had an estimated 1,500 mourners that were there. It was his funeral. It was a very big deal. And he was a Navy SEAL. He's a fallen Navy SEAL.
Now, among all of the people that were there, his dog, Hawkeye, was also there. In fact, Hawkeye's loyalty to John was visible at the funeral because as they laid his casket down with an American flag over the casket, his dog walked over to the casket and laid down next to it. There's a photo of the dog laying next to the casket right now on our fan page. Facebook.com slash Mikey show. This Navy SEALs cousin said Hawkeye is and was his loyal son. And to say that he was an amazing man doesn't do him justice. The loss of John to his family, his military family and his friends is immeasurable. But who would have imagined?
That his dog would have such loyalty to him that he would know what was going on being inside of that service in that church. Not only did he know, but he knew enough to the very end to walk up to the casket and lay down next to his owner, his master. Again, if you want to, you can see the photo right now on our Facebook page. Facebook.com slash Mikey show. It's one of the most amazing photos I think I've ever seen. I mean, I've seen some really amazing photos. I saw that and I went, oh, wow, that's powerful. Really, really powerful. You got to go look at this photo. Oh, it's so moving. It's so moving. Oh, my gosh. You know, it's more, I believe it's more feel good than it is sad. I couldn't stop staring at it. You know, that's the deal.
The dog's not laying there like a dog will lay down and just keep its head up. It's laying on its side like it is done. Like, this is my man, and he's gone. Oh, there is no doubt when you see this photograph, and you guys know me. I'm not one to try to see something like this because you guys know me. It's always about the truth. What's the truth? I'm telling you. That when I looked at this photo, there was no doubt about it. The truth was that that dog misses him. I guarantee you when that dog walked up to the casket during the service, everyone probably just lost it. Oh, there's no doubt. I would have been convulsing. I'm about to convulse now. It's the sweetest thing you've ever seen. He's a black lab and his ears lay flat.
on the floor of the church. If you want to get a visual image of it, it's as if the dog himself is dead. Yeah. It's hard to think of the relationship between people and pets without seeing that. I mean, it's just, it's hard to not get the relationship between people and pets seeing that. It's unreal. Just be wondering where his next meal is coming from. Shut up! Yay! You should be drawn and quartered. You're saying, Woods, that Jay should be like at the end of Braveheart when William Wallace is stretched out and has his entrails taken out while he's alive. That's what you're saying. Yes, and I'm saying that may even be a little too humane for J.R. Isabel. That one goes out to you, little Hawkeye. Don't worry.
Got some raw chicken for you. You're fine. You're fine. Still gonna eat. I'm telling you, man. That one got me like nothing has gotten me before. It is so sweet. It is. I sent it to my wife this morning. I said, okay, brace yourself. Yeah. I hate to do this one to you, but I'm going to get you even worse. At some point, somebody had to come over and pick that dog up. Because I guarantee you, he didn't want to leave. 570-1949. M1, Oscar's calling from IB. Hi. Hi. Hey, I don't know if you guys saw the news last night. I don't remember which channel it was, but there was a news reporter, the anchor woman. She was going to say that she was going to play that clip about that dog. Right. You could tell it in her eyes. I mean, if you look at her eyes, they were all red because I don't know if she was bald after she saw that clip. You know...
When you go to the doctor and the doctor tests your reflexes, he does it with a little rubber mallet where he hits your knee and your knee just by pure reflex will kick. There's something inside of us as human beings that when we see something like that touches the child in us because there's something so innocent. About a child's love. For an animal. And we grow up with it. And we kind of hold on to it. And so to see that dog. So loyal. And to see a dog sad. It's one thing for people to be sad. And to miss. But when you see a dog. Because a dog. Doesn't have the ability. To ever curse someone out. A dog doesn't have the ability.
to ever flip someone off a dog doesn't have the ability to ever cut somebody off in traffic it doesn't have the ability to file for divorce it doesn't have the ability to abuse and so I think that's what makes it so special yeah that and the fact that the only reason that the dog is there is for you and your happiness. And that is the only thing that he or she cares about in the world is your attention, your love, and your happiness. That's all. That's it. That's all they want. Well, I hope I didn't, you know, emotionally terrorize you too bad with that one. It's so moving and beautiful. It's unbelievable. Let's see. David Letterman last night was talking about the earthquake. Because they taped in time. Let's see. I think I have it here. Here we go. Hang on. Okay. Getting all fixed up here. All right, here we go. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the show. Whoa, you know, by now here in New York City, all throughout the East, I had an earthquake. Like a 5.8 earthquake happened like about an hour ago. Did you folks feel the earthquake? When I felt it, I was up in my office getting a facial, and I felt it.
I jumped out of the chair and I screamed, oh, my God, it's the fatwa. It's... They traced the epicenter of the earthquake to Governor Chris Christie's aerobics class. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Now I get you. They traced the epicenter of the earthquake to Kim Kardashian's honeymoon suite. Oh, hello. Birthdays can wake him up with an air horn. It's become a fan favorite. So let's see. I'm calling M1 Jessica. Bueno, can I please speak to Jessica, please? Hi. I'm a wife now. Jessica, happy birthday. Thank you. How old are you today? 24. Look at you. Look at you. How cute. Good age. 24. Happy birthday. Thank you. Any plans?
Well, I already had a celebration over the weekend with my family, so probably keep it low-key. Yeah. Enjoy the weather. You're going to go out to dinner? Yeah, you're going to go out to dinner. Do you have a boyfriend? No. You do not? Well, maybe it's time to do something about that. Or have more fun with that one. That's right. That's right. Well, Jessica, happy birthday to you. Thank you. And congratulations on being an age that is a lot of fun. All right? Alright, we'll talk to you later. Thank you, Jessica. Alright, now, we had received various emails and on our Facebook page, this guy wanted us to really wish his kid a happy birthday. The kid's name is Eisen. He's a year old. Yeah, just a year old today. And one huge in Japan. His name is huge?
His M1 name, his dad's M1 name is huge in Japan. Huge in Japan. Wanted us to wish Aizen a happy one-year-old birthday. Well, there's a problem with that. She's only a year old. What are you going to do? What's he going to say? Can't really air horn a one-year-old. No, that would be cruel. Abuse, even. It would be abusive. Funny. Is this Aizen? Hello. Oh, Aizen. Aizen, how you doing? Good. Just a baby. Just a baby. Sounds like a big baby. I got it. Happy birthday. Thanks. Happy birthday, Eisen. And my dad. Right, you guys. Several times. Yep. Yeah, nicely. That's cool. Sorry, L.O.B. told me to be nice. I am being nice. I've got a bracelet on that says be different. I was asleep, and then I'm going to get the teat here in a minute. Oh. I like the baby. I think Jay, his joke, may have qualified.
for the word plenty. Yes. Creepy comment after I said teat. Yeah. Yeah. Because I couldn't hear him. Yeah. Well, I'm going to get the teat, but thanks for making my dad happy. Happy birthday, Dad. Happy birthday to you, Eisen. Happy birthday to you, Eisen. More like happy dad. Get some. Because I'm one. That's right. Well, yeah. Enjoy it while you get it. This is Eisen signing off. Bye. Bye, Eisen. Happy birthday. Hung up on Eisen. Cutie. Motorboat? Is there a motorboat? You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. Weird placement. I think so, too. Babies like to motorboat. Jay just played a motorboat. Oh, he did? I was in the restroom. Jay likes to turn it up to 11. Even though I asked him to take it to 8. He don't listen. I thought that was 8. I don't see the line. Mike, what does line mean? I'm glad you asked. Glad you asked, Mike. Mr. Jay.
If he would put up all the clips of him messing up words. Yeah. You say messing up. The dictionary, by definition, is messing up words. And what Jay did was, he put them all. He put them on a page that's difficult for me to get to. Oh, weird. Page 79. Weird. This is Jay saying Joe Montana. Joe Montana. This is Jay saying flea flicker. A flea flicker. Jay on Taylor Swift. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Jay on irrelevant. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Jay on irrelevant. I guess it's irreverent. I told you it would still be good. I love being me. I told you. Jay on Don Knotts. 70s Tim Conway Don Knotts flick. I still love that one. Jay on Discharged. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it. Take it out of context. Jay on the General Population. Hopefully she gets put in the General Populous, whatever it's called.
General populace. There, I got it now. Yeah, there, I got it now. I got it now. Jay was just giving me a break sign like I've never seen him give me a break sign. Like, break, you have to break now. Thank you, MF-er. Will and Jada Pinkett Smith and a divorce. Oh, wow. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Hi, this is JC Thomas and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready.
At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability, we've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part, too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit. and know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, visit sdge.com slash safety. This is Matthew showing his bank smartphone app to a friend. I can see my balances and a map of my banks close by. This is Patrick showing Chase's mobile app to a friend. I can check my balances, find a Chase branch close by, transfer funds, deposit a check using my smartphone. Matthew. Um, did I mention the bank locator thing? Patrick. I can pay my bills. I can even send money to almost anyone with an email address. Matthew. Again. See, look. Branches. On a map. On my phone. With access to innovative technology like our award-winning Chase Mobile app, including Chase QuickPay and Chase QuickDeposit, plus more branches coming soon to San Diego, Chase has you covered. Visit chase.com slash forward to download the Chase Mobile app.
Take a step forward and chase what matters. So I'm in Verizon because I want one of those new 4G phones. And I say to the sales guy, you got 4G, they got 4G. Everybody's got 4G. But it's all the same, right? And he says, no, fact is, Verizon 4G LTE smartphones are twice as fast as any AT&T smartphone. And I say, twice as fast? Uh, no kidding. Well, hmm. But ahead, I'm going, he shoots, he scores! Then I say, yeah, yeah, but I want something cool. What do you got? And he says, how about the Droid Charge by Samsung, the Thunderbolt by HTC, or the new Revolution by LG? Wow. And now I'm going, go crazy, people, go crazy! Hurry into Verizon for the best 4G phones on the fastest 4G network. Verizon 4G LTE. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Early termination and other fees apply. Speed comparison based on expected speeds in Verizon 4G LTE markets. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE. Hey, man. Long time no see. How's life? Oh, all I do is study for the bar exam. 200 questions, 4 hours? This thing's going to be brutal.
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Well, we've got some delays here on the 52 westbound after Mass Boulevard. There's an accident over on the right shoulder. It's a hit and run. CHP's on the way. 5 northbound before Loma Santa Fe Drive. Watch out, there's tire treaded bouncing all over the roadway. And the 15 northbound between the 5 and the 94. Pretty slow in the 30s right now. This report brought to you by Carfax. What's more newsworthy than talking foxes? How about a free Carfax report? Get one from your used car dealer before you buy. Just say show me the Carfax or visit Carfax.com. Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. The air yesterday in this radio studio. This entire radio studio, we have a live studio audience because we have a live studio audience. The Mikey Show every day now at 9 o'clock. Damn right. And yesterday, everybody's talking about Will Smith and Jada Smith getting a divorce. And so we will give you directly from the horse's mouth. They talk about it. So we'll do that in a minute. So somewhere in California, somebody's got a big old truck that really stinks because in...
The San Joaquin State Fish Hatchery. Somebody pried a gate open and they found blood covering the floors on Sunday because they probably cut themselves as they were trying to get in there. And what they did was they stole these three-year-old trout that were at this hatchery that they were going to stock lakes with. Why did they do that, by the way? Because they sell for like seven bucks a pound. And they're three pounds apiece. Get a job. Get a job. Get a job. Go freaking Costco or something. Get a job. Do something. Fish thieves. Trout stealer. Trout monger. Trout monger. Let's see. Let's see what's going on in sports. Well, it's big news here in San Diego. Junior Seau is going to be inducted into the Chargers. Hall of Fame. Give it up for Junior. He was a great charger. It will be November 27th. Guess who will be playing that day? The Denver Broncos. I love when they do that. I love when you get to shove their nose right in it. Also, I'm not a giant fan of women's basketball. In fact, I'm not a fan of women's basketball at all. However...
If you ask me, do you know one name in college women's basketball? I would say, yeah, I know Pat Summitt, head coach of the University of Tennessee. Very sad news. She has been diagnosed with dementia. And, I mean, this is the winningest coach in college basketball history as far as the women are concerned. And she said she is going to fight this disease and continue to coach. 1,071 victories, man. Dude. I mean, she is the best at what she does. For sure. Yeah, sad news. Okay, so, yeah, yesterday, everybody in the studio was like, man, did you guys hear Will Smith? Blah, blah, blah. Him and Jada Pinkett Smith are getting a divorce. Blah, blah, blah. Well, here they are discussing it themselves. You and Jada have been married 10 years? 10 years, yes. Wow, congratulations. Wow, in this business. I mean, 10 years is a long time. It's like dog years when you're married here. That's like 50 years, right? Yeah. You know what I found? It's like just divorce can't be an option. It's really that simple. If you just remove the option, because if you have the option, one day that person is going to make you want a divorce. You know, she's going to say something, you know, or he's going to say something. Somebody's going to say something.
You absolutely get to the point that you're done. And the only thing that keeps you continuing is that there's no other option. And I think that's also like the problem with L.A. There's so many options. So that's really what I feel has been a huge part of the success for she and I is we've just removed the other options. And we're like, listen, we're going to be together one way or the other. So we might as well try to be happy. Yeah. I think that's great. Well. Apparently they're sticking to it because they're denying rumors that they are getting a divorce, which I think is great. That's awesome. And I hope that that is the true story. Their little son was all over Twitter asking people to spread the word that it was just a rumor. I wonder how something like that gets going. Who knows? It was in Us Weekly and it said a source. So Us Weekly put it on their website and they kind of put it as a teaser for their next issue that's coming out. A source close to the couple. You know that old bit. That's an old bit. And that is the way that you do it. You've got to say, hey, it's not an option. We're not going to do this. We're stuck with each other. So we might as well figure it out. It's like being on a rowboat. Well, guess what? I've decided I'm getting on another boat. There is no other boat. Dumb dumb, look around. We're in the middle of the ocean. There's no other boat. Where are you going? Where are you going to go? You're here.
No, I'm getting in another boat. Have at it. Go ahead. Good luck. What if you're just getting a dinghy for a little bit? There is no dinghy. Oh, he was saying that. Dinghy like wiener. Quit playing with your dinghy. Get it? Jay was making an inappropriate. That's weird. What if you spank her with an oar, Mike? You can use oar and spank her. Get it? Hey, Mike, I got an analogy for you. Let's say... I'll show you my column. All right, Jay. Get it, column? We're like the leaning tower of Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Very thin column. We're like a banister. Like a baby's arm holding an apple.
Yeah, if the baby's arm was deformed and stretched out like a pencil. If it was an Ethiopian child. Yes, where the bone was... Well, imagine a skeleton. A skeleton. A skeleton holding a... An apple core. A skeleton holding a grape. Oh, visuals happening. Hey, speaking of dudes, how about this? I call this SGNT. Sounds good. Not true. For years, popular psychologists have insisted that boys and men would like to talk about their problems but are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak. However, recently, there was a study done. Weird. And it says that men and boys don't express any angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls. But instead, the study suggests that they just don't see talking about problems to be a particularly...
Useful activity. Well, I say that that's a bunch of BS. Here's the thing. Guys don't talk about their problems. In fact, I think the study is flawed in and of itself because they're asking guys to talk about their opinion about talking about their problems. What do you think is going to happen? Guys don't like to talk about their problems. that they wish that they could get that junk out. You know, we got it in there. We wish we could get it out. Men and women are different in this way. Men are like a dryer, like a washer and dryer. We're like a dryer. Here's what men will do. Pretend that the problem is a sock that you put in that dryer. We will tumble it around and tumble it around inside and tumble it around inside. And if it still isn't getting dry.
After a long time of tumbling around, we will finally bring it out. Finally. But we like to tumble it around inside for a long time. We played a clip the other day of Brian Regan. And Brian Regan, it was one of the funniest bits I've ever heard because of how true it was. He said, you know, I met up with a friend of mine the other day. We went golfing. I hadn't seen him for about 10 years. He was like, came home. And my wife said, how was Bill? I said, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? Didn't you go golfing with him? Yeah. Didn't he just get a divorce? I don't know. Is he dating? I have no idea. Well, how could you not know if he's dating? I'll tell you how. Because when we were out at the 16th hole, I didn't go out.
It's the 300, but looks like you've got about 180 to get to it. Are you dating anyone? And that's the truth, man. I mean, guys don't, we don't talk about that stuff. I disagree. You do? I disagree a thousand percent. I have, I got a group of guys, a guy group, if you will. We talk about our problems. I talk about my problems with you. I talk about my problems with LLB. Absolutely. Sometimes you can't get me to stop. There's exceptions. I will no longer talk about my problems to Jay. Woodsy, do you think that you are typical in that way? It's typical for me because we all do. My friends and I all do. I'm not a steward, man. If something bad happens to me, you'll know about it. Do I? Yeah. I do? I talk about my problems? Yeah. With me, you do. You guys seem to be more of the exception than the rule. I think so, too. From my experience in dating men. I think so, too. I've never been the kind of guy to be like, I'm just going to hold it all. I had a rough day yesterday. I let it out. I had to. I had to do it. I've never been that guy that's so afraid of my emotions. I'll just tell you. I'll just tell you what's up.
Yeah, I think I do, too. Yeah, I think you do, too. But I will tell you this, and this is true. There's a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean an extraordinary amount that I don't tell you. Oh, sure. And I have that, too. You do? Yeah, I have some of that, too. Some of that. I have a lot of that. Women, like, I catch myself doing it. I'll use a particular phrase when I tell someone a story of what's going on in my life, and then I hear myself telling it to another person. I'm like, gosh, I sound like a broken record. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just divulging everything and being like, and then, and then, and then, and every single... When two women talk about something, there's no stone left unturned. Right. I'll tell you where I don't... Now, this is where Woods and I are different. You guys ask yourself if you're like this as a fella. Are you the type of dude... that will talk to your guy friends about your problems on the phone. Oh, yeah. I will not do that. I called you yesterday. I was having a problem. No answer, of course. You called after bedtime. No, I didn't. I called before. It was before. It was like 3.30 in the afternoon. You didn't answer. And then I texted you and you wrote right back. But, yeah. All right. That happened. Oops. Feast on that.
Yeah, it was. It was a little awkward. It's just friends and stuff. I'll sit and gab with friends on the phone about stuff all day. Jay, you would never do that. He's skating. He's surfing. Jay don't like talking on the phone. No, I don't like talking on the phone. I will tell my close guy friends. If I'm having some kind of issue and I just got to vent, I'll vent with them. But I usually don't vent with girls or something. How do you bring it up? Just sitting there on the surfboards. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. You're out on a board. Yeah. It's true. You're like, man, does this sound right? I got crabs, man. I don't even know how I got them. I'm drowning them right now. I'm trying to drown them. That's why I'm out here again. Now listen to me, Adam. I'm telling you, I don't know how I got them. I ain't having sex with anybody else but my wife. She don't have them. Seven times a day. You know that. We're talking about it. But anyhow, there they are.
They're like Maryland blues. Now listen, I tried to skate them away. I tried to climb them away. I tried to mountain bike them away. Hike them away. Hike them away. Lift them away. Jog them away. Strength them away. Good looking them away. Good looking them away. Ab them away. Sex them away. Perfect them away. God darn. Good hair them away. I can't get rid of these crap. Tan them away. Look young them away. Sparkling eyes them away. Smile them away. Dynamic them away. Cute little nose them away. Long thin wiener them away. Kissable lips them away. I mean, I've done everything, Adam. Approachable guy them away. Edamame them away. Hard working them away. Everything I do won't get them to go away. Mikey told me to pray them away, but I ain't going to do that. That's a one. That's a one. I got to draw the line at them. I tried to online game them away. They won't go. I ain't going to talk to some Santa Claus in the sky, okay? That's ridiculous. A good dad of them away. Great husband of them away. Mikey, speaking of Mikey.
Crap Dad. What's he going to do? He gets them. I mean, if I can't do all that, what's he going to do? What's Crap Dad going to do with it? Fat him away. Oh, he's going to fat him away. Eat him away and slide him away. Burrito him away. Laptop him away. Laptop him away. Mexicali him away. Maybe I'd give him to Crap Dad and see what he'd do with it. Hey, Crap Dad, here's the one to try on your God. Here's some crabs. I'll try on my shorts. Go ahead, Mike. Oh, Mike. Prove me wrong. Oh, my gosh. Cramp dad. Prove me wrong. Go get on your knees. Save me, Jesus, from these crabs. Save me. Come on, cramp dad. Oh, you gave me a cramp in my jaw. In my jaw. It's the strongest muscle in your body. Oh, yeah. Jesus. It is. It actually is. Everybody's body. Not just yours, Mike. No, just my ass. Just my ass. Oh, that was genius. I will tell you this. Out of all of us, and by all of us, I mean San Diego County, this is the strongest. Trust me. Trust me on that one. Holy cow. God. Like a right cross. Uppercut. Uppercut. Mike's got his hands by his side. Jay just comes in with an overhand right cross. Oh.
Woo! Only happens in the movies. That stuff like we saw with that dog, right? Only happens in the movies. Stop talking. Well, let me ask you this. Is there anything that's happened to you that only happens in the movies? And it could be funny. It could be romantic. It could be fight club. It could be whatever. 5701949. It would be like the time that my parents came home while I was having a party with 100 teenagers in my house. Yeah. That would be the kind of thing, maybe. Yeah, that is a scene in a movie. And then there are kids flying from every angle, and my dad is saying to them, please exit in an orderly fashion. And he actually said those words. Those are the words that he said. That would be in a John Hughes movie in 1987. Parents! And people were like, please exit. In an orderly fashion. They were like knocking each other over, like just wheelbarrowing each other over. That's great. My high school experience was a little bit like varsity blues in the fact that a lot of the athletes got a lot of preferential treatment. And I was out with some really good football players one night, boozing it up in a car, got pulled over by the cops, Texas cop, you can imagine, big fat guy, cowboy hat. What are y'all doing? Y'all drinking?
yes, sir, get out the car, pour that beer out on the side of the road, and y'all get on your way and get home. Really? Yeah, and we're like, yes, sir. Yes, sir. I mean, you know, he's looking in there. He's like, oh, look who's here. You know, star quarterback, star running back. Y'all go ahead and pour it out. Is that you, John Benchert? Yeah. John, you know better, boy. Get your ass on home. You got a game on Friday. Jason Marshall, what you doing back there? That's it, dude. Don't know better now. I see you. That's it, dude. I see you. We get out and just pour it. And then I saw Varsity Blues years later. I'm like, that actually happened. 570-1949. Give us a call if you have a story that is so unbelievable that it would make you say, it only happens in the movie. But it did. It happened to you. Whatever it is. Burned our back fence down. Burned it right down. Down to the ground. It's a movie bit. It's a movie bit. I got a million. Some of them. Oh, yeah. I have plenty of ones with cops. Plenty of girls. Girls, for sure. I can't share mine. Going out a bathroom window, the dad right behind me. Then he goes out in the front yard, and I realize I don't have my keys in my pocket, so I go back through the window into the room while he's out looking for me out front. That's a movie scene. Find my keys, go back out the window as he comes in, make it to my car as he comes running out. Was he trying to get in the car?
He was not that close. He went back in to see what was going on. Oh, my God. I had to go back in. I was like, awesome, dude. He's gone. Oh, my God. Payback is a bitch, Jay. Didn't that happen with your daughter? I don't know what you're talking about. That is awesome. I mean, that is right out of a freaking movie. Oh, dude. Right out of a movie. Imagine how mad he must have been. Oh. He must have been so pissed. When I did the ladder bit, my parents then pulled the ladder up, so I had to go through the garage to my dad sleeping on the couch. Oh, my God. And I still tried to sneak past him. You know, see, I can't figure it out. As a dad, if you know that your daughter is trying to do something sexy waxy, if it's your son, there's a small party that's like, attaboy. How do you feel if it's your daughter? Not good. Are you angry? You're mad. I'm disappointed that your daughter's a slew. Well, I was not being a slew. It's the shoe fits. You know what I mean. Fair enough. So if you have a that only happens in the movie, I want to hear it. Also, hear about the guy that crashed into the adult store and what he stole? Tell you about it.
The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Got to tell you about AT&T and what is happening right now with AT&T. They got U-verse $29 a month. Great price. $29 a month. Six months. DVR included. Check this out. 182 channels. 182 channels. And they're going to throw in HBO and Cinemax for free for three months. But you got to call them today. 877-only-ATT. Go into one of the AT&T stores. Or, if you're at work right now, try this. ATT.com slash TV. You know, they were ranked highest in residential TV service satisfaction by J.D. Power & Associates for three years in a row in the West. That's a good thing. It's AT&T U-verse.
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It's the end of the model year and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers and bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or a San Diego Nissan dealer today. This report is brought to you by Del Taco. Try the new 59 cent Chipotle value bean and cheese burrito at Del Taco. Slow cooked beans, new creamy Chipotle sauce. It's bold Chipotle flavor for just pocket change. at del taco what looks like spring valley we have an accident here on the 125 northbound right after spring street two car crash tow trucks on the way on the five northbound in encinitas before manchester avenue something in the middle of the road and the 52 westbound after mass boulevard an accident over on that right shoulder it was a hit and run this report brought to you by carfax traffic's bad enough without car problems so before you buy a used car get a free carfax vehicle history report from your dealer just say show me the carfax or you could go to carfax I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning brought to you by Frost Brewed Coors Light. It's how San Diego breaks. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Once again, our continuation of small surf is what we'll see this morning as just a pulse of southwest swell and a dribble of west-northwest.
combined together to keep most areas in that ankle to knee-high zone, waist-high with that rare plus, the top open spot to the total small combination. And believe me, there isn't much of that. Overcast skies will greet you once again. Got the June gloom all the way this late in the season. Kind of weird, but it's there. Light onshore winds to go along with that. Water temp hovering in that mid-60-degree range. So that's the high note of the day. Just kind of small weekend dribbling, really, and not much more I can tell you than that. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For surfboard repair and restoration needs, go check out Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I'm here, okay. Now back to the Mikey Show. Come on! With Mikey Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be. But I'm super gullible. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody for their insight. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. As soon as I get my allowance back in 2040, I'm going to buy this album. Is it my turn to wish you were lying here? I tend to dream you.
Might have put this on a couple of mixed tapes in my bed. How could something that good not make any more records? I know. They went out on a high note. All right, we're done. He's about 600 pounds, too, so hopefully he's still alive. He's a big dude. I saw them. They were doing something live a couple years ago. Panhandle. What? You hate to laugh at those jokes, but you got to do it. It makes me uncomfortable. I know, but you got to do it. Just sing it. You know what's going to be terrible? When someone like T-Pain samples this. I know. A new song. Some clown. Ruins it. I like it then, too. No! We all like songs that they put our favorites in. You're such a purist. Yes. 570-1949. Let's see. So people are calling us with these stories. Like stuff that was so crazy, it should have been in a movie. For instance, what about M1 Carolyn? Is it Carolyn or Caroline? Carolyn. Carolyn from San Diego. Yeah, Carolyn. So I was at a buddy's house, late night, drinking, having some fun.
Time to go home. Around 3 o'clock. Came out. Went to where my car was parked. Could have sworn it was parked there. It wasn't. Looked around the corner. It wasn't. I realized my car was stolen. Car was paid for. You know, loved that car. Missed it. A few days go by. I'm working out as a waitress on a patio. I had these trays in my hand. I look up and... There goes my car. Holy cow. Holy cow. So I turn to my table. I drop the trays. I say, I got to go. I run down the street after my car. I'm yelling at the guy, get out of my car. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Crazy. And he looks over at me with this absolutely stunned face and just literally takes off. And I'm like, no. Wait, wait, wait. Took off in your car. Took off again in my car. Did you get it back? I go running down the street. Can't catch him, obviously. Come back to my table. No, the car's faster than you, Carolyn. Weird. Absolutely. So I come back, and my table looks at me and says... Where the hell's my Coke? He goes, did that guy just steal your car? And I'm like, yeah, two days ago. Oh, wow. God. So you did not get the car back? No, I make a phone call to the cops, of course.
And sure enough, they found the car, like, bailed out on, like, three blocks down. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I was scared. Where did it happen? What city? This was in Portland, actually. Wow. Blah. Yeah, they say that that's the most promiscuous city in America. Right, I heard. It's the highest concentration of vampires. Yeah, of Dracula. Dracula. Dracula. All right, thank you for the call, Carolyn. We appreciate it. Great story. Let's see. This is stories. that are so crazy that they should be in a movie m1 jesse from san marcos hi so my mother never ever drinks but she comes down to visit me while i'm living in san francisco decide she's gonna go out and have dinner like six and a half hours later i get the call i'm drunk i need a ride home shocking as it was so i go to pick her up she spills half her bloody mary on me we get in the car we stop because she needs gum we stop we start driving again I get pulled over. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. So, my mom, like, I stop the car, put it in park, she jumps out and walks back to the cop's car. Oh, my gosh. The other cop walks up to me. He thinks I've been drinking. I'm doing a field sobriety test. Oh, wow. Mom ends up with a date. Oh, my gosh. What, what, what, what, what? Ends up with a date with the cop?
Yeah, and check this out. She gets out of the car. I'm oblivious because my mind's just blown that my mom is schnockered, right? And she gets out of the car with a beer can in her hand. Oh. Which is like so many levels below how my mom would drink to begin with. Like, it would be Manhattan's all the way. But she hops out of the car, gets herself a date. I get a field sobriety test. No DUI, thank you. Yeah. Two weeks later, the guy she started dating pulled me over and gave me a ticket for not yielding. Oh, my God. Holy crap. That's insane. That's awesome. That's insane. You're going to go out on a date with me. I'm so glad she doesn't listen to this station. Like, that's the family taboo story. Yeah. Have her call. That's great. Thank you, Jessie. That's outstanding. Bye. Oh, yeah. M1 Rob from San Diego. Hey there, guys. How you doing? Good. You want to hear my story then? Yes, go ahead. All right. So I was in Florida with some buddies, and we were in two separate cars, and we were stopped at a red light. And I was out of one car and going to the other car while the light turned green. All right? Chinese fire drill. Right, right, right. Exactly, exactly. So I'm running up from behind. My buddy's driving a, what was it, 78 Camaro, the T-top. We had the...
glass partitions taken out. Oh, yeah. Of course you did. Of course. Of course you did. You know? You have to. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. You're driving around in Florida and you're 20 years old. It's how you do it. Yeah. So I jump onto the door of the Camaro that I'm about to climb inside. And I know my buddy doesn't see me coming up from behind me. And he doesn't know I'm there, but the light's green and the cars in front of him are going. So I know he's going to step on the gas and kick off. Onto the door and brace myself between the T-bar and the windshield with my hand. I'm about to climb into the back seat. I know he's going to take off, so I brace myself for that. I also know that I'm jumping onto the door right beside the driver, so he's going to see me. And so there's a good chance that he's going to slam on the brakes as soon as he does. So I brace myself for that. What I didn't realize was that two seconds later, he would think that everything was fine and jam on the gas again. And I didn't brace myself for that.
The car takes off out from underneath me, and I get thrown behind, and I'm grabbing onto the rear windshield with one hand dangling off the end of the car while he's speeding up to 25, 30 miles an hour. Yeah, it's like a stunt scene, man. It's like a stuntman. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. That's crazy, dude. That's a good one. Thank you. Thank you. That's outstanding. Listen to this text. Mikey, 45 minutes before my wedding ceremony, our photographer took our rings. to photograph them and lost them. We crawled all over the floor. Oh, my God, dude. We searched the place for 30 minutes before our photographer realized she subconsciously placed them in her pocket so she wouldn't lose them. Sounds like an L.O.B. move. Holy cow. Oh, wait, guys. Oh, here they are. I got them. I'm an idiot. I was a ring bearer. In one wedding, and I tied the rings in a knot. While I was waiting, I was bored. They couldn't get them. Couldn't get them. Oh, no. During the ceremony, they couldn't get them undone. They just mime it? No, they were like having to try to get it with their teeth. That's why you never got asked again? Never got asked again. That's outstanding. I have a crazy... Made out with a flower girl. Oh. I was five. Okay, good. She was five. It's the first time I kissed someone.
It wasn't with a tongue, you creeps. Was she older? She was five. I was five. Latino? No. White girl. Good for you. That's where it started, I guess. Blondie with pearls. Yes. Prophetic, dude. Very prophetic. Yes. Prophetic. I meant prophetic. It's very prophetic. What? I have a crazy bachelorette slash police story. I was in Baltimore for my friend's bachelorette party. Which is the hub of... Every great bachelorette party. Of course. And we were tipsy and there was a lot of us. There was like 10 girls and some of us fit in a cab and then the rest of us couldn't fit. So we decided we were going to ask these cops to give us a ride back to our hotel. Oh, my gosh. Not only did they give us a ride, they decided they were going to, you know, circumnavigate and go through the ghetto with us to show us stuff. So they were letting us turn on the siren. They were scanning our licenses to see what was on our records. And we were like. There's my speeding ticket. Oh, wow. So then they were like, they get on the bullhorn. They're like, you guys want to see crackheads scatter? They go, attention, crackheads. Go home. People were like coming out of the bushes. Oh, my gosh. So we're having like a grand old time. Then we go back. Are you in the front seat? We're in the back. All of us were in the back. Two cops in the front. Just giggling, drunk, having a great time with the cops. Then at one point, they're like, we're going to have to call for backup. So they call another. They called two more cops.
cars over and they're like hey girls how you doing and they were like just we're like hi in the back seat oh then they come back to our hotel two cop cars come back like you're gonna make love to us or we're taking you to jail you're like take a picture of us handcuffed they're taking all these pictures they're in the pictures with us then they come up to our hotel room and they start boozing with us they're on duty oh my god are you kidding they start boozing with us then they go back on duty you know we get their number i think they're drunk driving drunk driving Yeah, we're not. Which isn't funny, but that's just crazy. We were 22 years old and we're, you know, drunk at the time too. So we weren't thinking how bad this is. We were like, yeah. This is awesome. And half of the girls that had already taken the cab home were asleep. There was about 10 of us. Did they kiss any of the girls? No, they were like 30 at the time. So we were like, ew. 30. Oh, my God. That's awesome. Okay, so I'm in the wedding the next day. This is one of the greatest stories L.O.B. has ever told. Oh, it's great. Weird. A year and a half later. The wedding is in Annapolis because the groom was in the Naval Academy. He's, you know, whatever the term was. He's a sailor, I guess. Yeah, whatever. So they're getting married.
You know, in Annapolis on base, you have to have your ID to get on base. Well, the next day I wake up and I'm like, where's my freaking wallet? And my bra. Freaking out. Freaking out. Luckily, one of the officers was trying to creep on us and was like, hey, if you need anything, call me later. So I had to call one of the officers. I call him. He picks up. He's like, hello. And I was like, hey, is this Jason? And you hear kids in the background and like, you know, it's like 730 in the morning. He hangs up on me. Then I try to call him back. His phone's off. He won't pick up. Oh, my God. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. We have to leave Baltimore. We've got to get to the wedding. I'm freaking out. So I just keep calling him, keep calling him, and it's off. So he finally calls me back. He's like, yes, this is Officer Smith. I received a phone call. All professional, whatever. So anyway, we had to send one of the guys because we had to get on the road to go. We had to get our hair done and all that. So luckily, one of the guys from the bachelor party. stayed behind and picked up my wallet from this cop. That's insane. This is stories that you would only see in a movie, and this happened to L.O.B. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to get on base without my ID, and I was a bridesmaid in the wedding. Sounds like he got on base. No, he didn't. Like he hit a home run. Nothing happened, right?
You tried everything. Nothing happened? Nothing happened. These cops did not hook up. Not for lack of trying on their part. They tried. But like I said, we were 22 at the time. So we were like, you know. And my answer to you is yes. Stupid. Wow. That's just so easy. 570-1949. I think we still have some of the pictures of us in handcuffs. I would like to see those. Hey, look. Look at my hair. M1 Surf Daddy from Encinitas. What was the word of the day? Oh, my gosh. Allowance. That is correct. The word of the day was allowance. 50 bucks to Crossroads at the House of Blues and a pair of tickets to the Arctic Monkeys and TV on the radio. Hang on, okay? Love you, bro. Love you, bro. Let's see. Oh, my God. M1, I'm huge in Japan, whose son, Isis. Aizen. Aizen turned a year old today. Hi, I'm huge in Japan. Yes, he did. How are you guys doing? Good. What happened to you? Well, so I'm going through a lot of medical issues right now. I'm in the military, but I'm about to get medically discharged, and the reason why is because I had a motorcycle for about five years, a really, really nice bike, and never had a problem with it. I swore by Hondos. I mean, they were great bikes. Well, the day before, I was going to sell it.
And I had to ride it to the bank because I knew there was traffic on the 8. So I said, you know, I'll just take it. So I took it. And I was on West Point Lover Boulevard. And all of a sudden, the bike just took off on me. Like, I mean, out of nowhere. I've never been riding for eight years. I've never had anything like this happen to me. And it almost throws me off the back, which in hindsight, I wish it would have. I try to look forward to grab the clutch, but my bars are tank-flapping so fast that I can't really time it right. What does that mean? The bars are like, you know when you get like... They're rattling. Yeah. They're rattling. Yeah. Exactly. Wobbling. And I'm trying to grab him, and a guy pulls out of the 7-Eleven and stops at the red light right in front of me. Oh, no. And I look up, and I'm like, oh, crap, you know? So I, you know, riding experience. would not have helped me in this situation whatsoever up until this point. I knew that if I was going to hit him dead on, I would fly directly into his rear windshield and break my neck, and I'd be dead. I was going about 70 miles an hour. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, that's what the cops said. The entire mark said that I was going 70 miles an hour to them. So what I did is I leaned as hard as I could to the left, and I hit him at an angle, and I ended up...
flying, like, right by his driver's side window. I flew for 45 feet. Oh, my God. I landed on my arms. Now, I'm wearing full gear. I'm wearing gloves, jacket, helmet, you know, boots, jeans. Heavy armor? Heavy armor on the jacket? Oh, yeah, totally, man. Like, all over it, you know? Yeah. Really nice, like, $500 jacket, you know? And, hey, listen, sorry to interrupt, but to guys that are listening, and, you know, you guys are, especially if you have those Crazy Japanese bikes. Yeah. Get the most expensive, heaviest armor you can get. You are totally right. And one of the things that I wish I would have done is my gloves. I had the summer gloves that just cut off at the wrist. Excuse me. And, you know, you need, and I'm telling this to everybody, and everybody that I see on a bike nowadays that I see doesn't have full gauntlet gloves that completely cover almost the entire forearm. Yeah. I tell them, you need to get them. Oh, yeah. And then I show them my scars. Oh, boy. This is why. Wow. So what happened was I landed on my arms. I shattered my right forearm. I broke and dislocated my left wrist. I completely lost all the bones in my thumb, my right thumb. My gloves just disintegrated. Shattered my left ankle. Tumbled a bunch of times. You know, got a little bit of road rash on my back, but my jacket did its job pretty well.
Anyways, I come to a stop, and I had my phone in my pocket, and I had my headphones on. Well, I get stuck on repeat on one song. So I'm laying on the ground waiting for an ambulance. There are like 20 people surrounding me in a circle, and this song, Black Rob, Like Whoa, just keeps playing over and over again. Like whoa. Oh, my God. What's the song? Black Rob, Like Whoa. W-H-O-A. Oh, no. Well, you should have been arrested for having that on your iPod. Black Rob? Like, whoa. What band is that? Black Rob. There's a band called Black Rob? Oh, he's a guy. Well, I don't really have much rap on my phone, so, I mean, it's kind of weird that it just ended up on that. He's a sucker MC. Yeah. He's laying there in the worst pain of his life, and he's listening to, like, whoa. Oh, on repeat. Just on repeat. I got this bad bee in town. She was low. Oh, my. I can't listen to it ever again. It's incredible. Oh, wow, dude. That is crazy. Great story. That's a great story. I had to wait for about 15 minutes for the ambulance to get there, and a cop gets there first. And he comes out, and he's talking to me, and he's like...
So, you know, are you intoxicated? Are you on any drugs? No, look, I'm completely sober. It wasn't my fault. This is what happened. And he goes, yeah, okay. You know, it just completely, like, he was a young guy, and you could tell he just completely thought I was lying. Right. You know, you kind of, whenever you have a street fight, you have a bad reputation to begin with. There's nothing you can do about that. So I'm like, you know, man, do you think I'm lying right now? Like, you know, I don't know if I'm going to die. Like, I could be bleeding internally. My insides look like my outsides right now. I'm dying. I'm not lying to you. Anyways, the ambulance gets there. They cut off all my clothes, put me in the ambulance, and the cop runs over to the door. As they're closing the door to take me to UCSD, the cop runs over, opens the door, and he says, hey, man, I got a witness out here that says you were riding like an a-hole. And I... slick out. Because you weren't, right? Your throttle stick? Hey, guys, I have a one-year-old son today. He was like four months old at the time. I was selling this motorcycle because I was done doing dangerous. Wait, wait, wait. Is this the song? He's like, no! Is that it? That is the song. Oh, gosh. Oh, poor God.
Oh, oops. Oops. Just repeating over and over again. Hey, question for you. Yeah. What is that armor inside that jacket? What is it? Is it metal? No, it's just like foam. There's like different ones. Some of them are like foam or like a polyurethane. The real good ones, though. What is that that keeps you alive? It's almost like Kevlar. It's like a polyurethane. It's flexible. It's almost like plastic. There's multiple layers in leather jackets. M1, I'm huge in Japan. I gotta run, but thank you for the story. Alright, guys. Take it easy, man. Thanks a lot for wishing my kid a happy birthday. You got it, buddy. I went and visited a guy in the hospital last year. Last year. And... He had been in a motorcycle accident here in San Diego and he lost both of his legs, but he was alive. His mom was there really nice. Both of them were really nice people. And he was alive because of his jacket. He was alive because of his jacket. And he said that his dad said to him, hey, listen, if you're going to ride that thing, we're getting you the heaviest armor we can get.
And it was a week before the accident. And you know the medians? Yeah. He slid. He crashed and slid on the cement median. And he kept sliding all the way till it hit a under, you know, the columns of an overpass. Otherwise, he would have kept sliding down it. But he was and he was just running the length of this column until it hit the deal. Wow. But if you drive those bikes, man, wear the heavy armor. It's really, it can save your life. Really gives you a leg up. That's our friend Jay. Really? And he is really something else. No leg. He is like dynamite. And boom goes the dynamite. Sure does. Speaking of Jay, wait till you hear about the 75-year-old woman that got breast implants. So that's... Jay made love to?
Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS top safety pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 MPG highway and available seating for up to seven, and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity? Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range, and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 25 mpg highway. Well, with the deals going on now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event, any choice is a smart one. Lease the 2011 Charger Rally for $269 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due at signing for well-qualified, current, less easy, competitive vehicles. Tax title and license extra. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy four-cylinder front-wheel drive based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped for towing.
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This report, it's brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash guarantees the lowest rate on title loans. If you've got another loan, Check Into Cash will help you buy it back. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lenders Law License. Looks like the 94 westbound before the 805, an accident on the right shoulder. It's three cars. One of them's on fire. The fire department's on the way. The 8 westbound before Main Street, we've got an exhaust pipe in the number three and four lane. And in Escondido, the 78 eastbound before the 15, a car's blocking. that left shoulder. This report brought to you by the Nissan Bottom Line Sales Event. It's the end of the model year. Nissan's laying it all on the line. The Bottom Line Sales Event's going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or your local Nissan dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better. With women than I do with men. Lauren. And I'm a klutz and an idiot. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. And Jay. I'm so tired. On Anthem 94.9. You know Ralphie? You'll shoot your eye out? Yeah. Christmas story. I'm trying to think of his real name. His real name is Peter Billings. Peter Billings. I knew it. He found a 45-year-old dude that works in the film industry.
No longer alive in his hotel room in Chicago. Oh, wow. And this guy is, he's done music for, like he did music for the movie The Breakout. And, yeah, they don't know what happened, but he's the one that discovered him. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? It's a pretty interesting story I'm going to tell you about Kyle Busch in a second. But I wanted to tell you first that sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Yes, sir. Kyle Busch is a very well-known NASCAR driver. Well, he has just lost his driver's license for 45 days for driving, get this, 128 miles an hour on a road close to a daycare center and a church in a nearly $400,000 car. We've got Busch. Kyle Busch. I will say this. Race car drivers, they really, really like to drive fast. That's not the only story about a guy doing something like that. I saw Days of Thunder, too. I have not. I haven't either, but you would think sometimes it's just out of habit. How does that guy drive 65 down the freeway? Same thing with jet pilots. Do jet pilots speed, do you think? I wonder if they do. I don't know.
smoking long. But that's with their hands. They don't use their foot. I wonder if they're used to it. They're used to the speed, so they can't do it. Well, the other interesting part of this article is he actually doesn't need a license to compete in NASCAR. So, happy birthday, Kyle Butch. Does not need a driver's license. Also, Padres will be taking on the Giants today at... I'm sorry, at... What the hell's the name of the place in San Francisco? Pac-Bell Park? Pac-Bell? Yeah. Used to be Candlestick. I still call it Candlestick. No, they don't play it in that stadium anymore. I know, but I just call it that because that's what I know it as. 7-15 tonight. It's Tim Stauffer against Tim Linscombe. Please win, Giants. Please win. Stop it, Woodsy. Stop it. So today is it, right, Woods? Today's it. If they lose to the Giants today, you've got to shave. A fryer tuck haircut in your head. And then apparently go to 75 games. Oh, no. Just fulfill your commitment. I'll be a game on September 2nd. Yeah, yeah. We're going to a game. Listen. The deal is... No, no, no. You can't make up deals. He didn't make it up. I'm not making it up. This is the old deal. I know. The original deal. You're a guy that searches for the truth, right? Yes.
You like the truth. Yeah, I did that earlier with you. What was the deal? The deal was that you were supposed to be in the public. No, no, no, no. At a baseball game. That was exactly what the deal was. What was the deal? Shut up. What was the deal? The deal was I go to a baseball game. Yes. Do we or do we not have plans to go to a game on September 2nd? Yeah, we do, but guess what? No, no, no, no, no. That's it. We can go back and listen to the podcast because you said you're going to sit in the crowd. No, I didn't. We said go to a baseball game. Yeah, we did. And not only that, Woods. But the plans that we have to be in that skybox, courtesy of our good friend Amy Foley. Amy Foley, thank you very much. Because you just saved me from having to sit in the stands. Not at all. Those plans came up after said bet was made. Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Oh, yes. Well, here's the deal with the streak. If that were true, if that were true. You don't know when the streak was going to happen. If that were true, then you would have said, oh, cool. I could pay it off in the box. No way. No way. Does a kid ever try to get his way out of things? Yes. Every single time. Do I? Or am I going to shave my head in a fryer cut? No one would see you. You know what I'm going to do today? You know what I was thinking about doing? I was thinking about shaving my head today. And I think I will. Since I'm a human and I can make my own decisions, I'm just going to shave my head. You have made a deal with the M. Guam Nation. No, no. I'll still do fryer cut. I'm just going to shave my head down today like a two guard. It looks cool. It's getting hot. You have an agreement.
You're the M1 Nation. Oh, I'll still do a fryer's cut. Yes, you'll do a fryer's cut. Yeah. But you can't do it with a buzz cut. I can't? Why? Who said that? Because the spirit of the agreement. Oh, the old spirit of the agreement bit. Yes. The spirit of the agreement then, Mike, says, we were supposed to go to a baseball game. I'm going to a baseball game. Where I'm sitting is irregardless of where I'm sitting. It's a reveler. It's a reveler. I will be at a friggin' baseball game. Well, if that were the truth, just win. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. I don't care. Just win the game tonight, Giants. Just win it. Stop it. It's not the Padres ball. Once he's going to try to go to a Little League game. No, no. I'm at a game. I'll go to a Padre game. I'm in the parking lot. I stayed in the car the whole time. No one saw me. I didn't have to really do anything. I'll go to a bar before I break my deal. Yeah, I'm a deal breaker. I can't follow through. Feel my commitment, Mike. I go to a bar before. We'll have nice cocktails. Then we'll go to the game. We'll walk me around. Everybody can poke fun. That sounds good for Mike. He doesn't drink. That was a little personal, Jay. That was a little personal, Jay. That one gives you the double. There it is. I missed it. Holy cow. That was a little. Wow. Everyone eject.
Let's be friends. You know what? Let's just play this. Buddy, your boy make a big noise. Playing in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got mud on your face. You big disgrace. Yeah, you are. You are. You are. You hypocrite. You deal breaker. What would Jesus say about this right now? Oh, my God. What would he say? He'd say, Mike. Your God would say, Mike. He would say, Mike, why are you torturing this guy that loves you so very much, that is willing to do this anyway? And I would say to him. Well, but Jesus, he's the one that made the agreement. Right. Not me. And then Jesus, let's go to, we should take it to the corner. Hey, Jesus did the ultimate sacrifice. I don't think you can compare yourself. Yeah. Hey. It's pretty close. Let's take it to the M1s. Let's take it to the M1s. Okay. 570-1949. Woods agreed. To go to what baseball? I am going to turn your mic off because I know you. I am going to turn off your mic and I know you. Woods agreed. Woods agreed. That he was going to shave a fryer's haircut into his head if the Padres won six in a row. Correct. Which I will. He wanted to make it like 40 in a row. I said 10, which a lot of good teams do. That's right. Wow, that's personal against the Padres. Not at all. I love the Padres. Anywho, the agreement was, and... Trevor Hoffman. He goes, and I'll go to a Padres game. Baseball game.
He said, I'll go to a Padres game with the haircut. That's it. Now, if that reasoning is correct, he could technically go to the game, go into one of the restrooms, and sit in a stall the entire game. Sure. Which, by the way, since we are in a private skybox on September the 2nd, is the equivalent of doing so. Not necessarily. All right. Well, let's take it to the court. Okay. I know what they're going to say. They want to see me embarrassed as well. But what I will tell you is that it is not my fault that this streak is happening. Coincidentally, when we're already going to a game, which we will be sitting in a... Now, listen, bro. If this had happened last week, I had an appearance at a pottery game last week. I would have had to sit there with my deal. Right. But now, we're lucky enough that we have a suite. I still got to roll around with a damn Friars cut in Petco Park. Yeah. But you're not. I'm not secluded. Yeah, you are. Let's see what listeners think. M1 Jake from El Cajon. I love you guys. Woodsy, you got to do it, man. I'm going to do it at the Padre game in the suite. I'm going to do it. Should he do it in a private skybox or should he do it out in the audience? Do it in the audience. I always hear Woodsy say, take it like a man. He's got to do it. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you, Jake. M1 Babe from Sereno Valley. Hi, babe.
Hi, guys. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Hi, hi. Okay, I love you, Woods. I do. I do, I do, I do, but... Do you? I do. She does. But what? She does. But what? I love you. But what? You gotta do it. I am doing it. At the Padre. I'm going to a game. Should he do it in a luxury skybox where no one can see him because he's secluded? Or should he do it in... The audience. You're buying my ticket to the game then. I'm not buying it. You're paying for it. Yeah, we'll get you a ticket. Okay, you guys get me a ticket. I'll do it. Everybody can suck it. Do it for the M1s. Thank you. I'll do it for the M1s. Thank you. F*** the heffers. Woods ever try to finagle. I'm not finagling. Every time. I search for the truth, man. I learn from you. I learn from your God. Your God told me that. He told me. Woods, it's still the same thing. He was trying to get out of watching the movie yesterday. No, I didn't. You will try to get out of all of your stuff. I get forced to watch movies. M1 Kyle from Chula Vista. Yeah. Hey, how's it going, guys? How you doing? Good, good. Hey, yeah, I actually did it when I was in high school. I gave myself a fryer haircut, walked around school, and it was the funniest thing ever. I actually wore a hat.
And one of the teachers walking around, you know, they make you can't wear hats at school. So he said, take off your hat. You can't wear a hat. I'm going to tell you this right now. Let me tell you. Woodsy's is going to look really bad. And I'll tell you why. He's grown his hair out. It's long. It's a long. I freaking love it. He's grown his hair out. I mean, it should be on the news when you do it. M1SD Pinky from San Diego. Are you in the lab? I am almost walking in. Mixing it up real good. She works in a lab. I do. Can you make a poison that will poison Mikey, L-O-B, and Jane? Can you make a... That is really, really over the top. Wait, wait, wait. SD Pinky, while you're at it, can you mix up a commitment serum? A truth serum. Yes. A courage serum. Yes, a commitment serum. A fulfilled commitment serum. Define commitment. Commitment is getting the haircut and going to a baseball game. I'm willing to do that. It's not my fault Mike's big time and knows all these big time people with these private suites. I just want to go to a game. I have little things that I suggest. How about you go hang out in the suite that's into the six game streak.
During the entire sixth inning, you need to be walking around. I would do that. Everybody can see you. I would do that. They don't want that. They want the maximum amount of embarrassment, and that's fine. I now know where I stand with my castmates. I now know that. I didn't even say anything. I now know. I now know where I stand and my feelings. I know where my feelings stand with my castmates. M1 Anthony. It's all good. M1 Anthony from OB may have the suggestion. Of a lifetime? Of a lifetime. Okay. Anthony? Yo. Woods, yeah, I'm here. Woods, you got to turn it into a promotional event for the Mikey Show, man. You got to get on the field. You got to go out there. You got to get in touch with their people. And you got to turn it into a promotional event. I would love it. That. I love freaking. Now that I would love. We get him on the field. Yep. What if I could throw out the first pitch? You know that's on my bucket list. Dude. At any game. Like a high school game if I got to throw out the first pitch. How do we do this? How do we do this? Jay, how do we get him to throw out? We just call our PR people. We call the PR people. We say. You know, he made a bet, and he's going to throw it. Can we get him to throw out the first pitch with a Friars tuck haircut shaved into his head? Should we get him a robe as well? Yeah. Dude, M1s would pack Petco parts. Oh, yeah. They would pack it. Dude, if it's on a school night, I'm going. I don't care. Yeah. That is phenomenal. I would do that in a second. Yes. I better not air mail that pitch either, dude. I better throw a strike. Oh, my gosh.
At least I know how you guys feel about me and stuff. Yeah, we love you. You know for sure that we do like people to fulfill commitment. Next time that somebody else's feet get to be held to the fire, I'm going to hold it real good. I just got an email from my friend Amy that said that you can't do the suite anymore. Why? She said that they filled it on mistake. I don't think you're telling the truth. Mikey doesn't lie. Are you lying? Yeah. One in five women. One in five women talk to their dog more than their husband or their boyfriend. 18% of women that have dogs say that they like to talk to their dog more than they like to talk to their husband or their boyfriend. True statement. They're also more likely to take time off work to take care of their sick dog than their sick partner. Oh. Oh, tried that move. 18% of women. No sympathy there either. Huh? Nothing. You didn't get any sympathy. Yeah, so I tried that move too, but I didn't get any sympathy for that. When you were sick? When Sonny was sick. His dog. Remember that bit? I thought you got plenty of sympathy when Sonny was sick. L.O.B. did. She gave me some sympathy. We all felt bad for you. I think I may have rubbed your back. And for Sonny. And for Sonny. I felt bad for Sonny. We were all very compassionate as Sonny. Didn't you go eat someplace on the way home? You didn't rush home? No, I went home first, then went to eat. Did you? Yes, I did. We went to Milton's? No, it was Chipotle.
Easy in there, Columbo. Oh, wow. It's getting hot in here. Just trying to keep track of what's important. No, it wasn't Milton's. But did you leave him alone? It was Chipotle. You left him alone when you went to the restaurant. Yeah, but I already had to leave him alone when I came to work. Why don't you just take him with you? Why don't you go stretch your thin wiener out? Oh, wow. You're going to need a bigger boat. Oh, yikes. I thought you could pee on a fairway somewhere. Leave me alone. Yeah, Jay. Why, you need something to look at? Creep. All right. Let's bring it back in. Tighten it up. Do you know the CEO of this company is in town today listening? He's going to pull me aside later. Go, what the hell's the matter with this? Yeah, with you guys. Who's that guy? He's a tornado. Yeah. Is that that guy I had to approve? Should I just start doing voices or something to impress him? Hey, Sliza Minnelli. Yeah, exactly. This is by a grills. I swear, I'm really talented. That's Jeff Bridges. I'm like Violet Cyrus and stuff. This is Jose Oswald. I'm a British guy because it's all I can do. Nancy Grace. TV's Nancy Grace. Hi, I'm Luke Esparza, Mike's child. This is Dr. Phil. This is Mike Tyson. Tattoo. Yeah, hello. This is Tattoo. Mr. CEO, if you're listening, we're very talented. My name's Little Juan. Little Juan. There he is. What's up, dude?
Hey, what's up, CEO? CEO, Lincoln Financial, bro. I'm not talking about just the radio division. I'm talking about the whole freaking company, dude. He's here today, and he is going to meet me, shake my hand, and be like, how come we pay you what we pay you, bro? What's up with you? I wish I could sell you. And I'm going to be like, whoa, dude, that's racist. What's up? What's up? And he's going to be all, whoa, dude, I didn't mean it like that. And I'm going to be all, whoa, dude, I'm calling HR. Oh, wait. You just got it, dude. He's going to be like, hey, which one's Mikey? And they're going to be like that one right there. And he's going to go. No, no, I didn't say, where's the gardener? I said, which one is Mikey? That dude right there with the army colored shirt on. No, I didn't say which one is a maid in the building. No, that's him. That's Mikey. He's like 23 years in the biz. I know he sounds white. He speaks no Spanish, but that's him. No, not the butler.
I'm talking about the host of the highly rated Mikey show. That's him. That's Mikey. The guy that's as wide as he is tall. White? Wide. Oh. I don't look very white, bro. Do you really want to make fun of Uncle Mikey, Uncle Jay? Uh-oh, Jay. I mean. Oh, here we go. I mean. After all, bro. Just put yourself in front of the firing squad, Jay. Think about the last time you made fun of Taylor Swift. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Sorry? Uncle Jay, tell us about the time that you talked about everybody's favorite Don Knotts 70s Tim Conway Don Knox flick. Dear Uncle Jay, please tell us all about those stories of sports from yesteryear. You know, like the famous Joe Montana. Joe.
Montania. No, Joe Montana. Joe Montana. Close. Uncle Jay, tell us about the time that Joe Montana had his famous flea flicker. A flea flicker. Uncle Jay, is that irrelevant? Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. I'm sorry? I guess it's irrelevant. You better be careful or you're going to get discharged from the show. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it. Out of context. That's the wrong word. One of my favorite shows. I'm fun in here. Oh my gosh. The latest on the cop and alcohol. How's he doing, Manny? Got to give you an update. Don't go anywhere.
It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Wednesday night's Company of Thieves show at the Belly Up, unfortunately, has been canceled. And Friday night's Butthole Surfers show is now happening at Brick by Brick. Next Friday, the second, FM 94.9 presents Bits in the Tantrums at the Del Mar Racetrack. And Ben Harper plays there. Sunday the 4th on the infield. Two nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues September 7th and 8th. You can also see Telekinesis at the Casbah September 8th for the SD Music Thing kickoff party. And still to come this summer, an About the Music Show with Givers, and we've got one with the pains of being pure at heart. The Kills, Portugal, The Man, also TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys, Bush with Filter and Chevelle, Peter, Bjorn, and John, CSS with Men, Ryan Adams, the Foo Fighters, and Colts. So they're Have a get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. We know you want ultimate performance.
So now BMW and Seditas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Through Labor Day, lease a new 2011 328i sedan for only $299 a month plus tax. That's right, a new 2011 328i sedan for just $299 a month. or get 1.9% APR financing for a limited term with approved above-average credit. And with BMW also picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Hurry in to get a 328i for only $299 a month during the ultimate performance event. Now through Labor Day at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com. Mainest plan, terms and conditions available. See store for details. Five of this offer, 36-month lease. So I'm in Verizon because I want one of those new 4G phones. And I say to the sales guy, you got 4G, they got 4G. Everybody's got 4G. But it's all the same, right? And he says, no, fact is, Verizon 4G LTE smartphones are twice as fast as any AT&T smartphone. And I say, twice as fast. No kidding. Well, hmm.
But in my head, I'm going, he shoots, he scores! Then I say, yeah, yeah, but I want something cool. What do you got? And he says, how about the Droid Charge by Samsung, the Thunderbolt by HTC, or the new Revolution by LG? Wow. And now I'm going, go crazy, people! Go crazy! Hurry into Verizon for the best 4G phones on the fastest 4G network. Verizon 4G LTE. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Early termination and other fees applies. Speed comparison based on expected speeds in Verizon 4G LTE markets. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE. Do you need to get glasses? And as you're getting your glasses, you're thinking to yourself, you know what? Live in San Diego, want to be able to have some cool sunglasses. I'd love to get my prescription put into a pair of cool frames. Sunglass and Optical Warehouse, only place you should go. I'm not the only one that thinks it. San Diego Magazine said the same thing. And if you go to FM949SD.com, you can print off a 20% off coupon that is good at Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Largest selection.
Of designer brands. Dudes. Women. Everybody. Over 7,000 pair. So don't go to the mall. Where you're not going to get as many frames as you can get. If you go to Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. And don't forget too. Three locations. Sports Remina. Kearney Mesa. La Jolla Village Square. You want them. They got them. Go get them. Ollie wrote an opus about mythical creatures named Ollie Gators. That's right, Ollie Gators. And he needed a super ink to print his masterpiece, so he bought an original HP ink cartridge. They print up to two times the pages than generic refills, so every page was artfully printed. Just what he needed for the greatest novel ever written. Hey, this is Jay with the Mikey Show. Join me this Thursday from noon to one at Lahaina's in PB for the League of Most Interesting Challenges. Stop by and register to win tickets to see Portugal and the Man, Arctic Monkeys with TV on the radio, Tudor Cinema Club, The Kills, and Company of Thieves.
Plus, challenge me for a chance to win tickets to see Ben Harper at the Del Mar Racetrack. All this info and more at FM949SD.com. That's this Thursday, noon to one. La Haina's in PB. Be there! I'm one degree away from standing out. American Public University has more than 75 online degrees. I'm one degree away from a quality education. American Public University's tuition is far less than what you'll find at other top online universities. And I'm one click away from making it happen. To learn more about one of the most affordable online universities, visit AmericanPublicUniversity.org. He holds a shell up to his ear. He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates, and it is glorious. The most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend.
They say patience is a virtue, but if you've been waiting to get your hands on a new Honda, there's only so much anticipation one can take. Well, finally, the wait is over. We've just received a factory fresh allotment of Honda Accords, the only vehicle to make car and driver's 10 best list 25 times. And to celebrate, we're giving away 0.9% APR financing for qualified buyers. With the best resale value in its class from Kelly Blue Book, the Accord offers the perfect combination of style and fuel efficiency. Add to that Honda's legendary reputation for quality, And it's no wonder why people have been so eager to get an Accord of their own. Stop waiting and hurry in today before this supply of Accords runs out. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. For more information about Accord's resale value, visit kellybluebookswww.kbb.com. MPG based on 2011 EPA mileage estimates for the Accord 4-cylinder sedan AT models. 23-city, 34-highway MPG. Used for comparison purposes only. Actual mileage will vary. See dealer for financing details. It's the end of the model year. The Nissan Bottom Line Sales Event is going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, bottom line savings. Visit choosenissan.com or your local Nissan dealer. Hi.
This is J.C. Thomas, and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready. At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability, we've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit. And know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, visit sdge.com slash safety. This report, it's brought to you by Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. Punch your mouth in the face with the awesome flavor of Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. Head to a convenience store today. Taste Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks and satisfy the hunger urge you just can't explain. National City's tied up here. We got a CIG alert. It's the 805 southbound at Sweetwater Road, an accident involving a tractor trailer. The number four lane's blocked. There's a car stuck under the back of a big rig over on the right shoulder. Somebody's trapped in there. Fire department's on the scene.
Two to three other cars that have pulled over to the center divider. 15 northbound at the 8-in accident. This one's over on the right shoulder. And the 52 westbound after the 125. That right lane's blocked. It's a down motorcycle in the middle of lanes and ambulance is on the scene. This report brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold drinks. And now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. So in Pennsylvania, this isn't Time Magazine. Pennsylvania. There's a photographer that canceled. a senior photo session with four girls from high school because she saw that they made some nasty comments on Facebook. What they had done was they had created something called a burn book, which is where they go on there and they write negative comments about their classmates. Well, the names on the screen that this woman photographer saw were also some of the people she was supposed to be taking pictures of for the senior pictures, right? She got mad.
Well, hell yeah. So what she did was she said, I'm not taking these bullies pictures. And she emailed the four girls and their parents. And she sent explanations, you know, why she wasn't going to do it. And she even sent screenshots of the mean Facebook comments that they were making to the parents. Well, two of the parents replied and were apologizing, saying they were shocked by their daughter's actions. And this photographer, this woman said, it was beyond your clothes are ugly or you don't have any brand clothes or you're ugly or your hair isn't right. She said it was vicious and it was talking about sexuality. Here's what I want to know. Who's the two parents that didn't respond? Who is that? If you get an email from someone and it says, I was going to take pictures of your kid, but I'm not going to now.
And the reason that I'm not going to is because they said this about these other kids that I'm supposed to take pictures of and sent you a screenshot of the nasty stuff that they said. Who is the parent that doesn't write back and say, wow, I'm real disappointed in my kid. And thank you for thank you. Thanks for letting me know. Thank you for letting me know. Who is that parent? Maybe it's a parent that just wanted to handle it. Internally and not, you know, for a second I thought you were going to say that two parents wrote back and they were like pissed off and outraged. No, they just did not respond. Maybe they looked, we don't know what their reaction was at home. Maybe they looked at it and they went, you son. I think it's inappropriate though to not respond. I do too. I do too. But, you know, people are different. You know, people are different. And they thought, you know what, I'm going to handle this at home and she's going to get hers. Now, I understand that different is different. But if I hear you correctly, you're saying that's different, but it's not necessarily bad.
I don't think it's necessarily bad. I think it's their way of handling it. And we don't know how they handled it behind closed doors. I don't know, man. On that one... Sometimes the net doesn't fall very far from the tree. That's true. That is absolutely true. It's the first thing that came to my mind. Maybe they looked at it and went, God, grow up. Forget it. The first thing that came to my mind was that it's learned behavior. That's freaking mean. They're bullies because they're... mom or their dad are bullies. That is freaking me. Imagine somebody having a burn book about you. Dude, I think that kids that write stuff like that about other kids should be locked up. A hundred percent, man. Something scared straight. I believe they should be locked up. Maybe after multiple offenses. No. I don't know. Not me. Seems a little harsh. Wow, that does seem harsh. It's a little harsh. The first time. A kid puts on a burn book bullying another kid. That kid should be locked up. Juvie for a night. You wouldn't have many kids left on the playground then. Good. Kids are just mean. Right. Part of growing up, it makes you have a thicker skin. No. It makes people go in and shoot up schools. Wait, wait, wait. Here's my thought on that.
By the way, my brother says that... Never mind. So if you're bullied, you have permission to go shoot up school. No, I'm not saying you have permission, man. But, you know, it drives people to mental instability. Take it from somebody that got bullied. You don't think there's a guy in New York City named Mark Parise that I'd like to take a friggin' lead pipe to? We all have that. And would if I saw him on the street today? Bullying is repeated behavior. And we didn't all have it because I was not bullied. And I'm really, really thankful for that because I'm such a sensitive person that it probably would have done some real bad damage to me. I was not bullied. But I will tell you this. I despise bullies. I despise them. And I believe that they should be punished. Severely. They should be kicked out of school. I don't know about locked up, but kicked out of school for sure. Bullies do eventually get theirs. Trust me. Do they? Mine did. And the bottom line is that I just like to make sure of it. Right. Yeah, yeah. Make sure. I think that Dave Rickards is a bully. Dave Rickards from Dave, Shelley, and Chainsaw. I think he's a bully and a coward.
And I think that to go on the air and talk about me the way that he did when all I've ever done to him is love him and all he's ever done to me is be kind and to be as cowardly as to talk about me on the radio and to be personal about my faith in God, I think is a bully. And I despise it. I used to respect that man. I no longer do. I don't think that he's anybody to be respected. I think he's a coward. And I think he's a bully. And I think his time in San Diego as a top-rated morning DJ should come to an end ratings-wise. Because I think he's a bully and a coward. It's a weak thing. It's a weakness. It's an insecurity. It's awful. Now, with that being said, under the guise of humor, I used to be a bully on the air, which I will tell you, I am woefully ashamed of. I am woefully ashamed of my past behavior under the guise of humor or anything else. And I will teach my boys, and I've told you this before, I got a son that has autism. It's the reason that I believe in be different. It's the reason that I...
It's the reason that I started BeDifferentPact.org. Because of the nature of bullying. It kills kids. Literally kills kids. Literally can kill kids. Drives them to suicide. And I feel so passionately about it that I started Be Different. I have BeDifferentPact.org. And I truly, in my heart of hearts, am so regretful of the things that I've ever said on the air to somebody that hurt them and was hurtful purposefully, even under the guise of humor. And you know this. I have three boys, the oldest of which is autistic. And I'm going to teach my two younger sons. They are typical and they're twins. They're going to be two years old tomorrow, two days. And I will teach them that if anybody bullies their brother, Jake, that first of all, they need to make their wrist and their fist one. It needs to be like a board so that it doesn't move. They need to ball their fist as tight as they can. And that when they punch the kid that bullies their brother.
They need to try to aim for the back of his head as they drive their fist through his face. And I will tell them to defend their brother with extreme prejudice. What happened to turn the other cheek? Turn the other cheek has nothing. There's other verses, too. The verse that I'm referring to is in First Timothy, since you want to bring God into it. And it has to do with defending your brother. And you defend your brother. And it's the reason that we have war. It's the reason that we have soldiers. You defend your brother. You know, anger's okay, by the way. You've heard me say that anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. Anger is okay. As long as the anger is righteous. What's good anger? When's anger okay? Defending your brother. Defending your brother and defending those you love. Can't you defend with words? I mean, if they're just attacking him with words. I'm telling you.
OK, and we'll stay on the biblical thing, right? Bible says that to harm someone with words is like hitting them with an axe. And I can tell you this. I wasn't bullied when I was in school, but I've had people say awful things about me. The DJ that used to be on after me when I was at KIOZ, like Fitz or Fritz or something like that. He wrote me an email one time. Unsolicited, I mean, all I was ever to this guy was kind. It's a lot like the Rickards situation. He wrote me an email one time, and the email was something to the effect of, you're the most hideously fat, disgusting, ugly human being that's ever walked the face of the earth. You disgust everybody that looks at you and sees your face. I mean, it was, and I mean, dude, and I read the whole thing. I couldn't stop reading it. I couldn't stop, you know.
hurt me to my absolute core it just hurt me to my absolute core because words harm words are harmful in fact i think that they can be worse um i think that they can be worse if somebody gave me a choice in a lot of situations all right dude what would you rather have push in a locker or exactly you know you get to you get a choice either those words can be erased but if you erase those words Sorry, but you've got to have Brian Urlacher. He gets one free one to your face. I'll take Urlacher. Wow. Because that heals. It heals. There's words that kids said to me in third grade that are still, like, I'll never forget those words. Absolutely. Yeah. M1 Mama Nikki. Hi, guys. I have a question for you. So if I potentially see... my son becoming a future bully or if i hear that he's a bully how do you think it should be handled yeah and i feel for the parent i feel i really do i feel so bad for the parent that has the bully kid um especially because kids are their own people you can do your best to raise them you can raise them right and they can still have a mean streak because it's who they are and so man do i feel for the parent that goes through that
I will recommend a book called, I believe it's called Dealing with the Hard-Willed Child. I believe that's the name of the book, but you can look it up under James Dobson. That's the author, Dr. James Dobson. And it's something to the effect of dealing with a hard-willed child. And I will also tell you that I believe that you need to drive that out of them, okay? If we're going to have a bully, it's going to be Luke in my family because he's already very pushy. He's started school and the teachers have already reported back that he's very physical. He's physically very strong. He's little. Shredded. He's little, but he's lean and he's very strong and he knows it. And so he's pushing kids. Oh, boy. And he has a fun time with it. Yeah. Now, he's not old enough to understand yet. But if I ever get a report that that's what he's doing, I'm going to drive it out of him. I'm going to drive it out of him. And I think that that's how you do it. You've got to deal with it very, very firmly. Very firmly. See, I say you love it out of him. I'm sorry, but I don't think... How do you do that, Jay? I don't think it...
How do you love it out of him? I don't think it's going to be so opposite of who you are. I think the kid gets what he gets from being around you. Not always. But if somebody was jacking, if three dudes were pushing Jasper down and kicking on him, I would go there and unhandle it. You wouldn't want Finn, his older brother, to go take care of business? If they are physically. Right. If they're physically attacking him, 100%. You bet. 100%. I would be there right with them. If they're just calling him names and stuff, I would still go to the counselor or the principal of the school. I'm fine with that, too. Have a conversation. I don't think the proper thing is to retaliate with force. Unless force equals force. 100%. Well, hey, listen. And I've told my kids that from the get-go. Absolutely. And I have no problem with a kid defending themselves. Right. And when you say the turn-the-other-cheek thing, Jesus also said to tear your eye out if something causes you to sin with it. He didn't really actually mean to take something and gouge your eye out. I'd be blind. I'd be blind. Jay would be blind. Okay. I am blind. And so, yeah. So, I can tell you this. There are people in San Diego that I consider an enemy. And I pray for them. I pray for them. But that doesn't stop me from believing that they're cowards. That they're complete cowards. It doesn't stop me from believing that...
To be a man is to be something completely different than who they are. And it makes me sick to my core that there are people in San Diego that listen to Dave Rickards' radio show when what he is is a coward with the lowest type of, that's just cowardice. That's standard radio, though. That is old school radio. Let's talk about that. Howard Stern. Let's talk about it. Okay. Because all you're doing is bringing up another coward. You call him cow. Man cow? Coward. Okay, but here's my take on that. Standard radio stuff. I get standard radio. In fact, I remember when Howard came on in San Diego on 91X and went after Rickards. And I hated it. I hated it. I heard it. I didn't like it. And I thought, I like Dave, man. I hated the fact that he was picking on DSC. And he had Billy West, who did voices.
pretending to be chainsaw. I'm going, hey, oh, he does a voice like this. Oh, that's new in radio. Right. And they were making fun of him. Piss me off. Okay, wait. The deal with that was, is that I didn't like it. I got that it was radio. You know what it wasn't? It wasn't personal. Right. It wasn't talking about somebody's wife or their kid. Right. It wasn't talking about somebody's lord. It wasn't talking about somebody's character. And when that guy, when Dave Rickards went on the air and said that I stole from him, which is a lie, which also makes him, in addition to being a coward, a liar, it shows poor character because now he is addressing my character. And all I've ever done is shown him love. And I mean love. I won't go into it. I won't go into it.
And you can tell, I hope you're not giving me devil's advocate right now, Jay, because you can tell, oh, I mean this right now, bro. I know, and I know, and I'm just trying to, I'm not trying to even justify, I'm just telling you what I've always seen and the way it works for me is that you guys, we were all on the same team at one point. Yeah. So we were all a team. Yeah. When the team is broke apart, the bit is, is you go after the guy who's number one. Yeah, that makes sense. And you go after it with a loaded gun. Hey. I mean, that was what everybody was taught. Dude, I get it. What? When he came back on the radio here in town and he went over to Jack, I was number one across the board everywhere. OK, here's the deal. On my cell phone, I have text messages from Dave Rickards that were the contrary. And that was after. we were not playing on the same team he wasn't on a team yet he was in oh he knew that he was going to be joining a team he knew at some point but he didn't have a team yet so what he got a game plan put together dude you can go you can get he could have got it on the air and say you know what they got a bit that the incorporator that sucks or their new sports guy he's not great and they got a new girl she's never been a radio he didn't man he goes hey mike yeah thought you knew about the bible and the ten commandments that's b
Freaking ass, dude. Calling me a thief? A thief is to get into your head. He burrows in like a worm and gets so deep in there that then all of a sudden he knows what he's doing. He's working. And it is. Here's the deal, though, Jay. That may be true. What you're saying, I'm not denying. I'm not denying that that's a game plan. What I'm telling you is that at a time where I had already been betrayed. Right. At a time where I was at my lowest, at a time when I was trying to put my life back together, a guy who I had always looked up to, respected and admired, decided that he was going to take that opportunity when he didn't have to. Now you say, well, that's the type of radio he plays. You were number one. He wanted a gun for you. OK, you can. You're allowed. Sure.
There's a consequence to it. One of the consequences is I went on the radio and read his texts. The other consequence to it is I'm not shy about saying that I think that he's a coward. Right. I'm big on water off a duck's back. Let it roll off. I am not. SGNT. I'm Switzerland. I just think words can't. Oh, yeah, they can. Words can hurt you. Oh, yeah, they can. They can if you let them. I always have to look my hair. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42s. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot them a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Sorry, AT&T. Usually you get me when I'm in a much better mood. But you get all the speed you need at a great price with AT&T. $14.95 a month. 12 months with a one-year term. It's a one-year price guarantee.
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in the number three and four lanes, and Pine Valley area, the 79 southbound at East Mesa fire road accident. A pickup truck went off the roadway into Rock about 15 feet off the road. This report brought to you by Caltrans and Highway Work Zones. You've got two choices, slow down or pay up. Fines are now up to $1,000 or more. You also get points on your driving record. Slow for the Cohen Zone. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. The radio station is the Mikey Show. I know. Mikey. Everybody freaks out about guns and stuff. I don't freak out about them because my brother, I grew up around them. My brother had them the whole time I was growing up, so I don't freak out about guns. I like them. Woods. I flooded an entire Hampton Inn. Lauren. I used to be really into the Grateful Dead. Fantastic. And like the knock chomp of. Ah, and Jay. I don't want to miss somebody calling just like, hey, let's go serve. Or let's go do something. Oh, Jay, shut up. This is The Mikey Show. Can you believe it? On FM 94.9.
Oh, did you not say Garrett? He said hear it. Oh. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Garrett. Garrett. Let's Garrett. Hey, check this out. So there was a guy, and he was flying into New York, and apparently he's a pretty prominent entrepreneur in New York. His name is Peter Shankman. If he was my friend, I'd just call him Shankman. Just Shank. Shankman. Shank. So anyway, last week he's flying in a Newark airport from Tampa. And he's in the mood for some steak. So he gets on Twitter. Before his flight, he tweets, Hey Morton's, can you meet me at Newark airport with a porterhouse? And I land in two hours. K, thanks. Smiley face. And they did. He was joking. He was joking. And they did it. I'm going to try that. So he gets to his car after the flight. There's a waiter there. He's got, it's Morton's from Hackensack. He's there. He's got a steak, shrimp, side of potatoes, bread, two napkins, and silverware. Freaking awesome, dude. Hey, Tim, we need to go send you on a remote. Can you do that? Exactly. Now, it kind of helped that he had 100,000 Twitter followers, and he has a pretty popular blog, but still. He's like a multimillionaire. But still, I mean, it was pretty nice that they did that. Very cool.
Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, if you missed it earlier, Junior Seau will be inducted into the Chargers Hall of Fame on November 27th before the game against the Denver Broncos. And Mikey, don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. What? This is a story that has to do with a player on the New York Yankees, but I thought you would find it interesting. His name is Nick Swisher. He plays outfield. He's getting married. Guess where he is spending his honeymoon? Where? in Afghanistan. He wanted to visit the troops on his honeymoon. I thought that was a really, really cool deal. He said, I came from a military family, man. These guys risk their lives for us every day. I'm going over there. That's very nice. I would have reported on it if he was an Oriole. What about if he was a Red Sox? No, 0%. Well, then there's a bias. Okay, so I'm Mikey. That's Woods, the guy in the poncho. Yes. Which is weird. Yeah. Shouldn't it be me and the poncho? You're poncho less, and I'm poncho. Yeah. Lauren O'Brien's our assistant producer. Jay is our producer. And screening phones for us is Chris. It's crap. It's crap. Now, this is a segment on plastic surgery, and it has to do with a 75-year-old woman explaining why she's getting breast implants. Are you ready? Are you ready?
Sherry Cook is getting a breast lift, breast implants, and a morale boost. I always tell my husband I think older women all end up looking like oatmeal boxes or matchsticks. Woods is grossing out right now. What does that mean, an oatmeal box? You know, it'll be the big round oatmeal boxes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Hey, by the way, Sherry seems like a younger name to me. It kind of does, but she's also playing techno in the background, which could have thrown you off. That's true. At a club. Oh, it smells like carrots and throw-ups. I don't want to look like either one of those. Oh, there's where that is. At 75 years old, Sherry wants to stop the progression towards the so-called oatmeal box, so she's spending two hours in the operating room, all to have lighter and perkier breasts. That's why the implants are too big as... Jay.
That's a little bit like the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think? They're not going to look good without them. That's, you know, the whole thing about looking as good as you can as long as you can. She's going to be on The Bachelor next season. You know what I have observed is that we're now getting into a day and age where all of the silicone ladies from the 80s are now in their 60s. You know that? Yeah. Makes sense. It looks a little odd. Well, yeah, because you'll see. Still in, though, by the way. Well, you'll see old women now that have these perky boobs. And you're like, that's weird. And then you go, oh, wait a minute. Product of the 80s. To 84. Yeah. It's a great year in Fort Lauderdale. Absolutely. In 1984, that woman was 36 years old. She got this brand new thing.
These silicone implants or whatever. And now she's whatever. I can't do the math. Me neither. 40, 50, 60, 67 years old. Sure. And that's the deal. The only difference is they're bigger, but they're still aiming down now. They've progressed. Yeah, that's the deal. Strictly medical question. Did the nipples stay in place or did they slip? They did not. They did not. And I don't think that they did fall, do they? They do. How do you know? You know. You can see them. You look at them and you're like, hey. So the implants stay up here and then slip? I believe that there's a reason for that, by the way. The sagging of the boobs, which is going to be my new band's name. You would know. Thank you. I believe that the reason for the sagging of the boobs is so that they don't mate anymore. No, it's just gravity. Everything sags. Why? No, but there's a reason for everything. Like, why? Because we're... Why do we get wrinkles? Because we're basically like... Dying. Decomposing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that is true. There's no doubt about it. When you're born, you begin the process of dying. That's a true statement. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Okay. Well, but there's a reason. Why do you think that... Oh, get a little graphic here. Oh, don't say it. I'm going to try to put this in a way that isn't gross. Why do women's little friend go away eventually? That is...
To stop the mating. Right. Well, no, it's to stop reproduction. Yes. The mating continues. The mating continues. You know what I need. You know, the hot flashes. When that flow comes to town. Oh, boy. Oh, I get it. Her period. Oh, what? Now I got it. What? Shut up, Woods. Tell that to tribes in Africa. They don't wear bras to start off with because they're not concerned about the propping up of said goods. Trust me, I know. I have every issue of National Geographic magazine going back to 1901. Yeah, that was my first hustler was National Geographic. I don't care if they are sagging. They still look fantastic. God, you're heady. You're a gross, gross man. They're fantastic. Dang. All sizes. Doesn't matter. He doesn't care. I don't care. He would swing from them if he cared. I don't care. God. And don't wear the padded bra. We all know that's a bit. Hey, listen. I went to San Diego County Zoo last week, saw an orangutan, I'd have dated. 100%. A diving board sound effect went off. We got a text that said, Mikey, the cable... Now just the mention of your name. Mikey, the cable guy asked me to go out this weekend. He was cute, but don't you think that's creepy? M1Sam. No.
No? No. That's not creepy. That's like my fantasy. Wow! Really? Yeah, like the UPS. I'm like, oh man, please be sexy. What are you going to do? Nothing. Okay, I was never ballsy enough to ask him to do anything, but if he came to the door and was like, what's your number? Absolutely. SG&T? SG&T. She wouldn't do it. Yes, I would. Old movie. Old movie. But has anybody seen the movie Tootsie with Dustin Hoffman? Yes. My grandmother saw that. I know. 1984 was a long time ago. But in the movie Tootsie, he becomes a woman to get a job because there's no work for an actor. But there is plenty of work for actresses. So he dresses like a woman gets a job on a soap opera. Well, while he's pulling off this thing of being a woman, there's this gorgeous woman. that's on the soap opera that he starts to, like, have feelings for. But she doesn't know he's a guy. They're girlfriends. She shares all kinds of stuff with him. And one of the things that she says to him is, you know, don't you just wish that these guys would just forget the BS and just one time say to you, hey, listen, let's just forget all the BS. I'd really like to make love with you. And so he is dressed as a guy.
In the next scene. Himself. He's not dressed as Dorothy the woman. And he's at a cocktail party. And there she is. She's out on the balcony. Overlooking the city. It's at night time. She's drinking a little wine. And he walks outside. And he starts a conversation with her as himself. And she obviously doesn't know. It's Dorothy. They talk for a little bit. And finally he goes. You know. Why don't we just forget all the BS. I mean. I think you're very attractive. And I would really like to make... And he gets about that far and she throws the wine in his face. Of course. Now, L.O.B. is saying it'd be cool if the UPS dude was like, hey, Foxy. Yeah, I'm not talking about filming a porn with him, Mike. I'm talking about him asking for my number. No, I know, I know. But if it happened, you wouldn't think that he was creepy if it... actually happened. If he was hot, I'd be all the way in. How about the rest of the, yeah, that's true. The rest of the ladies in the studio. Ladies in the studio, would you like it if a guy, or have you ever thought, hey, cable guy's coming over, it'd be great, and call us, 5701949. Cable guy's coming over, it'd be great if he was cute, and he thought I was attractive. Anybody, you have thought that. There's a girl in here, she says, yeah, I've thought that. I used to think that about doctors, too. Now, I did have an attractive doctor, and the minute he walked in the door, my face went beet red.
And I started sweating, and I couldn't even, like, talk to him because I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. No! What? That kind of doctor. What? She didn't have to, but she did anyway. So should I just put these up here? Should I just put these up in here? We got her. He's like, I understand you're here for a sore throat. You have a mole that you needed removed. I think I need a breast examination. I don't think that there is a... Dude that would ever in a million years imagine that a girl at any place would pull the same funny business. I had a friend in high school that was a pool boy. And we talked about it. And we lived in a town where there was a lot of rich cougars. It would be like living in Del Mar. You're a pool boy in Del Mar. And this guy, I mean, and he said, listen, I've been back there skimming pools. 40-year-old bombshell laying out drinking margaritas. And he's like, I just never had the sack to even try. That's the way all the porn start off. That's pretty... I'm here to clean your poo. Allegedly. Did any of them hit on him? Nope. Come on, we're waiting to be whisked away. It's true. Just come in here with your brown uniform and your white horse. And your brown skin. And your glistening brown skin.
See, I think that most men think, I'm going to get fired if I try that. Yeah, I'm a sex pervert. It's worth it. Come on, it's a great story. Yeah, great story. Hey, listen, I had to get fired. It was love at first sight. Fake bit. Not a fake bit. Not a fake bit. Real deal. Fake bit. 570. Why do you hate love? I don't. Love hater. You love to hate love. Yeah. I don't hate love. I just think that love at first sight's a bit. It's not. It's absolutely not. It's absolutely hot at first sight. Have you not seen the notebook? Come on, Mike. Yeah, Mike. That was it. That was it for them forever. Why don't you assault him with a notebook viewing? He's seen it. I've seen that book. Very realistic. Mike. She had Alzheimer's. She didn't even know that was her husband, dude. And he's reading her that story. And then it clicks in that brain of hers that it was us. It's us. It was us. It was us. Oh my gosh. And then she dies. So believable.
And then he dies. Together. Happens every day. Together. Every day. They both go down for a nap. Yep. She moves on. Wiener time. And he does at the same time. Same time. Mm-hmm. Broken heart. Come on, Mike. Well, listen. I believe it happens, you know, a little while later. I'll go for that. Johnny Cash. A couple weeks after, I think. Yeah. Look at that. Love at first sight. It's a bit. You know what? You're a bit. Listen, you see somebody you think they're good looking. You want to make sex to her? Jay saw Kim. Oh, I did. And he said, that is a good looking girl. She's water skiing real good. She's a juicy fruit model. Yeah. And he thought. It's Jay. Yeah. I was dating a babalicious girl at the same time. But I saw her and I was like, that is her. I went home and told my mom and mom was like, really? You said, hey, that girl's better looking than the girl I'm with. I can't say. There you go. That's it. That's love. Lust at first sight, I believe in. Maybe you dream about the person before you even meet them. And then when you meet them, you're like, that's the one. Dionne Warwick just called. Even she says that don't happen. She works for Psychic Friends. Isn't that like a Savage Garden or a Backstreet Boys song? I knew I loved you before I met you. Yeah, it is. You were waiting on the promise of her, LLB. I was waiting on the promise of my wife, Jamie. Me too. I was just waiting on the promise and then she arrived. And then when they materialize, you're like...
I can't believe I got so lucky. Look at her. Well, 570-1949, what do you think? Look at this. LOP's recap says, excuse me, L.O. Barf after you hear this. Listen to this. L.O. Barf. Her latest kick is coconut oil on toast. What? That was for your skin. No, you can't put it on your skin. I thought it was for lovemaking. I don't know about that. Or suntanning. Huh? Or suntanning. You never oiled up Rebecca real good? Coconut? You're missing out, pal. You're a clown. You're a clown. You're missing out, buddy. You think we'll ever have a nine o'clock hour where there's not a kid in the studio? He's old enough.
Yeah, coconut oil on toast. What is that about? Well, the coconut oil, if you refrigerate it, takes on a different consistency than if it's just room temperature. It's called butter. Yeah, it's kind of like you use it in place of butter. So I've been doing it. I will take, like, before I refrigerated it, it was, like, more, like, oily liquid. Hence the name coconut oil. Exactly. I was just taking it by the spoonful as a supplement. Wait. You go to your fridge. It wasn't in the fridge before. Okay, you go to your counter. It looked like this. It looked like the first corn husker. So you go to your thing and it's sitting there and you open it up and you take a spoon and you go, and what are the benefits? It's good trans fats. So there's a good thing to have in a diet. Why don't you eat trans fats then? Because I don't want all the other calories and all the other stuff. Doesn't Snickers have trans fats? Not good ones. You should have a Dorito. I love how there's good fats and bad fats. There are. Just like cholesterol, buddy. It's stupid. It's a bit. It's a bit. We'll see. We'll have a race. Health is a bit. We'll have a race to see who lives longer. I'll get you, kid. Shake on it. I'm like a cockroach. Fryer's cut on it. Trust me. Hey, trust me. Listen, you've seen Ozzy and Keith Richards. Those two dudes are still kicking around. Well, yeah. And they both seem to be functioning pretty well. Well, hey, listen. They're still alive. They should. They have no. Those are two dudes have no business being alive. You know what I mean? Larry Flint.
Larry Flint. Yeah. Well, he seems to be in good spirits as well. Hey, he's alive. He's alive. I think anything with coconut in it sounds good. Yeah. Do you have any? I had it this morning. It's all by the microwave. Can you eat some, Woods? Yeah. It's not bad. It's coconut oil. I would eat some. Do I have to take a spoon? You know why I'll tell you it's bad? You know how she said she puts it in the fridge and it takes on consistency like butter? And then she puts it on toast? Okay. If that were good, they'd be doing that now and selling it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason they don't do it is because it ain't good. You could go to Honey's in Encinitas and go, I'll have wheat toast with coconut oil. Yeah, coconut butter. Yeah, she's ahead of the curb. You're the curb? The trendsetter. I am. Yeah, she's ahead of the curb, he said. She said she's ahead of the curb. It's okay. Curve. Isolate. He said curb. I said. He said curb. I heard curb. He said curb. Can you go get it so I can see what it looks like? Is it cooking or not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see what it looks like. Will you try it? No. If I try it? No. Come on, if I do it, will you do it? Gosh, come on. What are you going to do? Toast bread? Do I have bread? No, I'll eat a spoonful of it. I don't want it on the bread. Her bread probably has nuts and oats and stuff in it. Chris brought me some spoons as well. Weird. Holy. Oh, wow, LLB. It looks like a candle. Mike, read the benefits of it. Okay, you know what it looks like? It looks like Crisco. It looks just. And you should be all in.
I can smell it. It smells delicious. Mike, don't you eat Crisco Sundays every day? Mike, didn't you get a paper cut and Crisco came out? You'll do it, Mike? You'll do it. If I do it, will you do it? Oh, I thought you asked that. I want some. You won't do it? You'll get some. It's Crisco. Yeah, it's hideous. It's hideous. All right, I'll do it if you do it. Make some noise in our live studio audience. It's Mikey Show Live. This is a public show. Think you got something worth adding to The Mikey Show? Text them, 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now, 570-1949. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. We string up the old 1927 Gibson for the 4 o'clock blues break. From vintage Robert Johnson or Muddy Waters to the Black Keys or the White Stripes and everything in between. The 4 o'clock blues break.
Hey, this is Jay with The Mikey Show. Join me this Thursday from noon to one at Lahaina's in PB for the League of Most Interesting Challenges. Stop by and register to win tickets to see Portugal and the Man, Arctic Monkeys with TV on the radio, Tudor Cinema Club, The Kills, and Company of Thieves. Plus, challenge me for a chance to win tickets to see Ben Harper at the Del Mar Racetrack. All this info and more at FM949SD.com. That's this Thursday, noon to one. La Haina's in PB. Be there! Summer is a time to kick back and relax. Unless you're an engineer for Mercedes-Benz. For them, there is no R&R. Only R&D. And they've been engineering their vehicles the same tireless way for 125 summers. It's a dedication to craftsmanship you can feel behind the wheel of the 2011 E-Class sedan. A vehicle so advanced it can alert you when veering from your lane or even when driving drowsy. For one month only, come to the Mercedes-Benz Summer Event and lease the exceptionally engineered E350 Sport Sedan, an IIHS Top Safety Pick, for just $589 a month for 33 months with $4,684 due at signing. So hurry in before the event ends August 31st.
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Depot does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Three-pack Sharpie accent highlighters, just 50 cents. Eraser caps, just one cent. One subject notebook, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Expires 827, limit three per offer. I'm Darla. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. I've always told people about Fresh and Easy. I tell them all the fresh stuff I get. I'll come in here and I'll see something else. Mmm, that looks interesting. Let me try it. As my husband said, I'm the guinea pig. I've never had a Fresh and Easy product that I didn't like. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Darla, for helping us offer low prices. Choose from a variety of our pastas for just $0.99 and assorted Fresh and Easy pasta sauces for only $1.99.
I call this one Sunday Funday. It's a quarter till noon. The first round of games will be kicking off soon. Walking to the fridge, you swing open the door. A smile crosses your face. There's Coors Light galore. But in a matter of minutes, your friends will come shuffling in. So you hide a few cold ones in the vegetable bin. That way, when you think refreshment is gone, by gosh, there's a few silver bullets under the butternut squash. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. We should have bought rights to the word craftsmanship before it became so overused. Hired lawyers to protect it and keep it true. Like the true craftsmanship of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. With an all-new world-class interior, best-in-class 4x4 capability, and a powerful new 290-horsepower V6. Legally, you may not own the word craftsmanship. but Grand Cherokee continues to own what it stands for. Now get a great deal in the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance event. Lease Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $2.99 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do it signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Visit your SoCal Jeep dealer. Based on automotive news segmentation, call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residence here. Restrict in supply. No turn-in.
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Dealing with the thing and you want to do the deal. Let's hear it from our live studio audience in here this morning. L.O. Barf likes to eat this stuff called coconut oil. And it's not the kind that you put on your skin to get tan. Well, it is. You can use it for your skin as well. You can eat it and skin. It's also called Hawaiian Tropic. It looks like he's spreading Crisco on a piece of bread. You must be all in then. See, look, it's got to heat up a little bit. There you go. No, I'm good. Damn you. Just take the tiniest little bite. I'm going to take a big old glob. That's so gross. Mike, this is effigold coconut oil. It's pure extra virgin, so you know it's good. So you know it's good. You don't find much of that anymore, pal. I'll tell you that. Do they actually take the oil from the coconut and package it? And it's organic.
Oh, good, because, you know, the only thing I don't like about most coconut oils is how processed they are. You can use it for your hair as well as a conditioner. And it's good for cooking. You can also use it as spackle. No. Kim uses it in the shower. She'll put it on her skin. Did you hear that? I'm taking a bite. Here we go. All of us. Woods is doing it. That's a huge spoonful. You want to do yours first? You want me to do mine first? Yeah. That's a lot. He's taking a... That's got to be... Let me see that. That's at least a full heaping tablespoon. Hey, Wood, you know that's not cheesecake, right? Oh, gosh. Woods just ate it like frosting. Oh, stop it. It's what you wanted to do. You gave too much. Swallow it. It's what you wanted to do. That's... Oh, gosh, Woods. That's really disgusting. It's like melting in his mouth. Yeah, it is. Woods! Oh, it tastes like ass. Oh, God. Swallow. You're letting it melt. Oh, that's hideous. It melts at 76 degrees. See, not bad, right? It tastes like somebody took a can of tanning oil and went all over the bread. It does. It does not.
Jay. I like it. He does not. I do. It's like butter. Woods is rubbing it on his forearm. It's like butter. Woods. It's so hideous. Woods is rubbing it on his arms. You gotta hug people with those arms. I like it. Oh my gosh. Look how toned and tan my arms look now. That actually really does give a nice appearance. Look at the hue that I have. Nice. And that's like Hugh Jackson. There was a guy at Trader Joe's who used to put this on his arms. And he would touch the bags and he would leave them all greasy. Or greasy. What'd I say? Greasy. Greasy. Nah, you know, I took too big of a glob. You did. But it tasted a little bit like butt. But you still swallowed it. Yeah, I did. I got it down. But I really like the way it feels on my skin. Yeah. Multipurpose. Could I put it on my face or is it too greasy? You could, but you probably want to wash it off afterwards. Let it sit there a little bit. You're a health nut, so let me ask you this question. And this is going to torture you to have to answer, but I want you to think about it. Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that you're going to get your fat on. Yeah. Okay? With your favorite snack food. What would it be?
And let's say that you gave in and you basically said, I'm going to get fat. Let's do this. It would be, not just snack food, would be potato chips. And it would be hers potato chips, just original flavor, which I don't know if they have them out here. They're from Philly. Philly. It's potato chips. Weird that she likes hers and not his. Hers with two R's. Now, do those potato chips, do you like them just regular flavored? Oh, yeah. Regular flavor. And if you put them in a brown paper bag, like the whole bottom of the brown, it's just greasy. So, I mean, they're like Lay's, but they're better. Yeah. And that's what I would do for snack food. That's it? Just chips? Well, I mean, it could be anything. I'm not a sweet, like it would be more salty and like fatty. More than like a sweet thing. I wish that there was something like that that we could just pick. One thing. You can eat as much of it as you want. You're not going to get fat. They make it so that you only get one choice, but they take all the bad stuff out of it. Immunity. You get immunity for your favorite snack. You get fat immunity. Oh, man. I would destroy those. I put them in every sandwich. Oh, man. How long would it take you to get sick of it? I don't think I would. It's the same thing with pizza, french fries. I could live off of pizza, french fries, and hers potato chips. I'm one of the only people that could care less about pizza. What? Could care less. I mean it.
I don't dislike it, obviously. Nobody really dislikes it. Well, it's kind of like a case of EF for you, you know? Right. It doesn't do anything for me. Pizza. I love pizza. Pizza's the best. In fact, I have a friend named Terry who wrote a paper. He's an attorney. He wrote a paper about pizza. And said that people that don't like pizza, that there's something wrong with them. They've got an issue. They've got problems like, you know, daddy issues or something. But he really, truly believes that a person that doesn't like pizza or doesn't feel above average about pizza, there's something wrong with them. I agree with that. Oh, man. I mean, in fact, I've I personally think that the pizza port is the best pizza in San Diego. Even though it's the best pizza in San Diego, I still go, eh. Oh, my God. I crave pizzicato, man. I crave it to where I'm laying in bed going, pizzicato, too. Actually, pizzicato is my favorite. That's my favorite pizza over Pizza Port. I love pizzicato. It's my favorite pizza.
But it's still just like... I could go to Pizza Board every night. Beer and pizza. How about East Coast pizza? Have you tried it? No, that's good. You ever had Flippin' Pizza? Yep. Oh, it's delicious. What's it do for you? Why do people like it so much? It's an explosion. It's the tomato. I love tomatoey, cheesy. And then what I like to do is I like to put a lot of ground black pepper on it. I'd take Benihana fried rice. Benihana fried rice over that any day. I would too. I would dip it in extra marinara sauce with some crushed red pepper on it. You know that I would eat Benihana every single day. Me too. I get sick of that after a month. I wish I was Japanese. What do you think about, I'm going to tell you a story when we come back about a mom that's getting a year in jail for what they're calling abuse. Now, you may think it's abuse. I'd like to discuss it. If this happened back when I was a kid, would have never been a story. Would have never been a story. But it is today. Huge story. It's all over everywhere. We'll talk about it when we come back. 94.9
I'm here with my family at our favorite campsite for a little relaxation. But it looks like the whole city had the same idea. And what was supposed to be a weekend full of peace and quiet has quickly turned into a weekend full of who can yell the loudest over that guy's radio? Or that guy's cell phone? Or that lady's... What is that? A poodle? Or that girl's delicious Coca-Cola? Hey there. Would you like a Coke? Sure. Thanks. Now this is my kind of peace and quiet. Every precious moment of summertime should be enjoyed down to the very last drop, just like a refreshing Coca-Cola. So grab your friends and grab a 12-pack of Coke for just $4 for $11 at Ralph's, at the beach, the mall, the game, or whatever. When you're out enjoying all the fun that summer has to offer, stay refreshed with an ice-cold Coke. Coca-Cola. Open happiness. Hey, got to tell you about BMW Encinitas and what they're doing and what's going on over there. This is very, very cool. Through Labor Day, you can lease a brand new 2011 328i for only $299 a month plus tax. Now, I've talked about deals like this before, but when I've talked about them before, I've talked about the fact that they come from a loaner fleet. That is not the case here. These are brand new.
2011 328i BMW sedans for $299 a month plus tax. Now these are beautiful cars. What I want you to do is picture what they call the Roundel. It's the BMW Insignia. It's blue and white. Imagine looking down at your steering wheel and that's what you see. Imagine the color of car that you would want. Imagine whether you'd want a white BMW, a black BMW, a red BMW. You can get 1.9% APR financing for a limited term with approved or above average credit right now. It's Encinitas BMW. On Encinitas Boulevard, it's between the 5 and El Camino Real. This is the sound of Jim creating an online store for his business. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Access denied? What is this? This is David building his online store with Chase's new instant storefront. And move that over there. Jim. Oh, what did I just do?
David, that was easy. Introducing Instant Storefront, an all-new e-commerce solution that gives small business owners everything they need to sell products online. And best of all, customer payments can be deposited into your Chase business checking account often on the next business day. So you can reach more customers and keep your cash flow flowing. Act now and try Instant Storefront free for three months. Visit chase.com slash storefront to get started. Instant Storefront. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Merchant Services Agreement with Chase Payment Tech and Chase Business Checking Account required and subject to approval. Restrictions apply. Offer expires September 30, 2011 and applies to kiosk package only. See Chase.com slash storefront for complete details. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member of TIC. Sarah and her printer took a vow of silence. Why? Well, there was nothing to talk about since she switched to original HP Inc. She no longer had to yell things like, I'm out again? Or, ow, ow, foot, foot, after kicking the wall. You see, original HP Ink prints up to two times the pages than generic refills. So Sarah never had to kick the wall again, unless it deserved it.
How do you make something as awesome as PlayStation 3 even more awesome? Easy. You make it just $249. PlayStation 3, the sweetest gaming console around, is now available at only $249. Think of it. Not only do you get to play the biggest and best games, including exclusives like LittleBigPlanet 2, Uncharted 3, and Resistance 3. You'll also get awesome features like Blu-ray. And you can instantly stream TV shows and movies from Netflix. And get free access to online gaming on the PlayStation Network. PlayStation 3. Now only $249. Games rated E to M. He holds a shell up to his ear. He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates, and it is glorious. Most interesting man in the world. Don't always drink beer, but when I do, for Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends.
So I'm in Verizon because I want one of those new 4G phones. And I say to the sales guy, you got 4G, they got 4G, everybody's got 4G. But it's all the same, right? And he says, no, fact is, Verizon 4G LTE smartphones are twice as fast as any AT&T smartphone. And I say, twice as fast? No kidding. Well, hmm, but in my head, I'm going, he shoots, he scores! Then I say, yeah, yeah, but I want something cool. What do you got? And he says, how about the Droid Charge by Samsung, the Thunderbolt by HTC, or the new Revolution by LG? Wow. And now I'm going go crazy, people. Go crazy. Hurry into Verizon for the best 4G phones on the fastest 4G network. Verizon 4G LTE. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Early termination and other fees apply. Speed comparison based on expected speeds in Verizon 4G LTE markets. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE. Badges aren't given. They're earned. Through strength, like the available 390-horsepower 5.7-liter Hemi V8 engine that gets up to 20 mpg highway. And through dedication, with a 5-year, 100,000-mile powertrain warranty. Badges every Ram truck has worn for over 30 years.
Drive home your own badge of honor at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram Summer Clearance Event. Get a low-mileage lease on Ram Quad Cab Bighorn 4x2 for $199 a month for 39 months with $37.28 due at signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Stop by California's Truck Stop, your Ram dealer. Hurry. Offer ends soon. EPA estimated fuel economy, 1500 4x2, Hemi V8. See dealer for copy of limited warranty. Call 877-RAM-5722 for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. 25-cent charge for each mile over 32,500 miles. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 9-6. It's the end of the model year. The Nissan Bottom Line Sales Event is going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or your local Nissan dealer. Tell me, what'd the world look like to you when you first opened your eyes? Mikey Show. Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. You don't skimp on hair products. You don't skimp on haircuts. You don't skimp on DJs, designer jeans. You don't skimp on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in here.
I want to tell you about a fundraiser for Alyssa Rakov in just a minute. She is the woman whose husband went on a killing spree. And his name was Kevin Collier. He went on a killing spree, killed their daughter, killed her mother. Monster. And seriously injured Officer Jared Slocum in El Cajon. And we're going to tell you all about that in just a minute. But first, I wanted to tell you about this mom that's been convicted for child abuse. Now, I'm going to challenge you here. It's one of those cases where you go, where I'm going to challenge you to go, okay, one thing is true, but is the other thing true? Okay? This woman in Alaska was convicted of a...
was convicted Tuesday of misdemeanor child abuse because she gave her kid hot sauce in the mouth as punishment. Now, I know somebody that that was her mom's bit. Really? She cussed. She got Tabasco on the tongue. Wow. Sounds fair. Okay. Now, the mother did this and was trying to get on the Dr. Phil show and sent this tape in. Okay. Now, here's the two. Now, when you hear that, you go, well, yeah, now she's really a monster because she was like exploiting the kid to get, okay, I totally understand that. I'm going to ask you to separate the two. Is she a monster because she sent the tape to Dr. Phil because she wanted to get, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But what do we think about a seven-year-old as punishment getting, say, Tabasco to the tongue? No problem.
I don't have a problem with it. It's not my bit. It's not my style either. It wouldn't be my bit. I can't even eat Tabasco. Yeah. Now, we're not talking about Dave's Insanity Sauce, which is like, to me, that's a crime. Right. You know? Well, what's worse, that or soap? Because a lot of us got soap. Exactly. A lot of us got soap. I mean... God, soap tastes like garbage. Well, yeah. And I could hear a lot of tree huggers going, do you know what kinds of things exist in soap? Yes. And do you know what sorts of things can... You know, are carcinogenic. I'm just going to give my kid mercury. Just straight mercury. Right to the tongue. Well, then the Tabasco, in argument, is better than soap. Her name is Jessica Beagley. Beagley? 36 years old. She also made this 7-year-old boy stand in a cold shower when he misbehaved. Both actions were recorded on videotape. Listen. I don't like the cold shower one. Well, you know, here's the thing. You know, it isn't my style for sure. A little sadistic. It's not my style. But I think that the only reason that we think of it as sadistic is because it's 2011 and now we live in an extraordinarily politically correct culture. Yes. And maybe it is. I mean, like I said, it's not my bit.
My bit would not be Tabasco to the tongue if my kid cussed. Right. But do you think someone should get a year in jail with a $10,000 fine and be labeled a child abuser for it? No, not at all. Not at all. Maybe some parenting classes. Yes. Some support. Yes, I agree. And see, to me, I go, again, it's not my style. Right. But I don't look at it and go, Oh, you're a weirdo, a creep. But like I said, I knew somebody that that was her mom's bit. I think there's a big difference between the hot sauce and the cold shower. The cold shower, you leave a kid in a cold shower too long, they could get sick. If you leave a kid in a cold shower too long. Yeah, he's going to get cold. My dad hit me with a belt. That's never going to kill somebody. Well, unless you take it to the temple. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. It just hit me. Wait a minute. A cold shower. Okay.
That just solidified it for me. And when L.O.B. said it, I actually was on board for a second. When L.O.B. was like, I don't know, a cold shower, that's just, you know, that sounds a little inhumane and cruel. That's weird. Can we think about this for a second? Do you know how many people in Haiti would kill for a cold freaking shower of fresh water? Yeah. I mean, like, fresh water. Right, yeah. Clean. I sometimes take them, you know, just for fun. Right, but our culture... Our culture is so spoiled that we now go, it's punishment. Next thing you know, they'll be jumping in a cold pool. What are you going to do? People have died from hypothermia, have they not? Not from a shower. You can't get that cold in a shower. How do you know? Unless your shower goes sub-zero. Are you Dr. Phil?
If you're in Denver in the middle of winter. You can't do it, I'm telling you. I think the next time the kid cusses, you send them to Haiti, maybe. There you go. That's an idea. For a dirty water shower. That's an idea. There just doesn't seem, there seems to be no correlation between the cold shower thing. Yeah, I agree with that. The thing in your mouth is like, hey, next time you use that word, I'm going to show you how filthy it is in your mouth. You know? Yeah. Spray your kid with a hose. Oh, my goodness. Well, that, I'm okay with that. You're okay with the spraying of the hose. There's something about the image of watching a little kid shivering in a shower. That's sex pervert to me. That seems to be sex pervert. But what is okay is the image of taking a water hose, a garden hose. I wouldn't do it, but just a little bit of reaction. Put the ocean in the bucket. Middle of winter, I come home and I'm filthy. My dad stands me out in the front yard in my underwear and sprays me down with a hose before I come in the house. That's awesome. That's what you get. Welcome to Texas. But, you know, he was right. He told me not to get dirty. And I was filthy. He was covered in it. You know, the fact that we have water heaters. Yeah. It's pretty awesome. You know, we didn't always have water heaters in this country.
You know, I mean, anyway, let me tell you about these fundraisers that are going on. One's going on for Alyssa Rykov. Rykov, I hope I'm saying her name right. She is the woman whose ex-husband, Kevin Collier, killed his mother-in-law and their daughter. And he also seriously injured Officer Jared Slocum. He took to Facebook. Right before it and posted under her name, I'm ready to go party this weekend. Who is in? Filed for divorce and ready to let my hair down. 17 minutes later, he follows the post, spreading a rumor about Alyssa having an STD. Alyssa's friends and family eventually catch on, including her mother, Beverly, who asked people to, quote, please delete Alyssa as a friend. Do not feed into Kevin. In response, Kevin wrote, I guess I should have been like my wife and mother-in-law a long time ago and sat on my ass at home. He follows up by changing her status from married to it's complicated. He changes her occupation to stripper. He changes her profile picture to cheetahs strip club and a sign that and a sign that reads, I plan to sit on my ass and take all my ex's money. After posting, I have proven you can't turn a whore into a housewife. An argumentative thread started with her brother.
Telling him.