The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/26/11
Friday, August 26, 2011
depressionphotographer scandaldating gamespankingscience experimentWhy Are We Here?Camden school incentiveaddiction confessionhurricane Ireneshark sightingrollerbladesdebit card advice
The show featured host Mikey discussing his personal battle with depression and recounting a scandal where a photographer leaked pictures to a rival show. The crew organized a dating game for Chris, with Woodsy teasing him, while Jay shared a candid story about spanking his son Jasper. Other highlights included Jay's science experiment with ghost bubbles, an improv 'Why Are We Here?' segment, a debate about paying Camden kids to attend school, and Mikey's candid confession about his past addictions and recovery.
What happened, in order
Depression Analogy
Mikey explains depression using a car‑accident analogy about natural pain relief and serotonin depletion.
Photographer Scandal
Mikey recounts how a photographer gave their pictures to a rival show, leading to Woods receiving a text confirming the leak.
Setting Up Chris
The crew plans a dating game for Chris, with Woodsy trying to corrupt him and discussing Chris’s age preferences.
Jasper's First Spanking
Jay describes spanking his son Jasper for the first time and discusses the discipline and emotional aftermath.
Ghost Bubbles Experiment
Jay (the old man who does science) creates ghost bubbles using dry ice, soap, and water in the studio.
Why Are We Here? Game
The show plays an improv game pairing Arnold Schwarzenegger with Tom Brokaw/Miley Cyrus on a train, discussing why they’re together.
Camden School Incentive
A discussion about paying kids in Camden $100 to attend school to reduce dropout rates and crime.
Mikey's Addiction Confession
Mikey opens up about past addictions to porn, pills, cocaine, alcohol, meth, bulimia, and how tattoos and faith gave him hope.
People mentioned
SiennaWoodsyLOBMikeyJayJakeLaurenChrisEmily ChoiLindaNancy GraceDick CheneyLindsay LohanPitbull
38,080 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's going to be like casual Friday. You know, it's going to be like casual Friday in school. And or even at work when you go to work and you usually have to dress in a business suit and then you get to take it easy. That's what today is going to be like. Why? Well, you have to go back a little bit. Sienna is no longer on the show. And when she left and that meant that we had to start doing news, you know, we had to pick up the. We had to pick up the slack and start doing news. Well, Woodsy was a big part of that. Well, Woodsy is at a charity golf tournament today in Dallas. And so he doesn't get to pick up that piece. And so that means LOB, in addition to doing all the stuff that LOB does, which is a lot of stuff that LOB does, is picking up that piece. So essentially doing the job of three people. And congratulations to her.
Doing a mediocre job of all three. Nah, it's fine. Superhero. She's doing a good job. And so Woodsy's gone today. And so the show, although the show, oh boy, gosh, uh-oh. No, no. I have no idea what she's doing. Although we normally do things in a certain way, today it'll be more relaxed. Today it'll be sort of... Fly by the seat of our pants. Jay's going to do sports. Is he? Isn't he? That was not quiet. No, in fact, that was what you call the opposite of quiet. Wow. That was much better. I figured it out. I figured you out. And so I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41.
Totally regret telling people that I think I'm depressed. Oh no, you do? I don't know. I was just embarrassed. Why? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I know. I know. I'm embarrassed. You sound like a puss and you sound like you're crazy. Nice Bieber. Jay said to me yesterday, he goes, Hey Mike, would it be alright if the next time we do the game That's a true statement. If I say, I think depression's a bit. Oh, my God. Easy, Tom Cruise. That's a true statement. I know. What are you, Scientologist? Yeah. Over there? Well, here's the deal with it. I'll explain it to you the way it was explained to me. If you experience, if you, okay, let's say you get in a car accident. See if you track me on this one, Jay. I'm going to see if you can track me on this, Jay. All right. Let's say that you get into a car accident, all right? With you so far. And let's say that in said car accident, you break your leg. Compound fracture. Now, have you ever heard from people that have broken their legs in a compound fracture? They've been in some serious accident and it didn't hurt. Right. Didn't hurt for a while.
After some time goes by, it starts to really hurt. Right. In fact, then it's excruciating. Correct. Right. Well, the reason that it doesn't hurt at first is because your body, your brain has a chemical that it releases in order for you to. It's like a natural pain reliever. It's kind of the same reason that women are able to have babies again, because when they have babies, they go through this immense pain. But their body releases something afterwards. that is able to give them relief. When I've gotten a tattoo, it hurts like crazy. You know, I mean, you bleed the whole bit. But your body releases this natural chemical that relieves that pain. And so a lot of people, when they get into a serious accident, they don't even feel any pain, right? Okay, well, your brain works the same way with other types of trauma. So when you, maybe you don't break your leg. But your dad dies or your mom dies or you lose someone or, you know, there's some kind of thing that happens in your life that's very significant. Your brain produces a chemical. It's already got the chemical. It's called serotonin. And it goes and then it squeezes it out into your blood system. Right. And that is sort of a calming thing, sort of calms you down. And it's located in a gland. All right. And it squeezes out the serotonin.
Well, over a period of time, what you can do is go and you can just keep squeezing that thing. If there are a series of events that happen close together, you deplete it. And what happens is your body starts to react to it in a very odd way. For instance, things don't really have taste and flavor. You have other symptoms like you want to make things dark. You want to close the blinds. There are other symptoms like you do not experience joys and you do not experience lows. You sort of feel this deadness to the world. You will at times out of nowhere feel like you have this desire. To cry for absolutely no reason at all. Where these symptoms used to not exist. They didn't exist before. All of a sudden, they exist. And there's multiple other ones. Lack of sleep. There's multiple other symptoms. Or sleeping a lot. Sleeping a lot. So there's all these symptoms that go along with it. And what the medication does. Is it.
helps the gland to produce that chemical that makes you go oh i'm all right i don't feel so terrible you know i felt very terrible i felt like a overall arching sense of terrible uh and i don't feel that anymore in fact i can actually joke around and uh you know laugh at things and find some joy in some things i never used to Well, that I haven't experienced joy in quite some time. Now, I've never had symptoms of depression. You know, I've never had it. It's never happened. But I think that over the last few years, you know, my son Jake, his autism, my mom's Alzheimer's, my dad getting cancer, what happened with my old show. And then right after the thing happened with the old show, all of these weird things happened in a row. Right. Car got broken into and and then the photographer that was taking pictures for us as a new show was actually doing it for the other show to give them pictures and turn them all over to the other show. It's weird. You know, all of these events were happening at once. And, you know, along with, you know, then I.
Then I got a hernia that came back and I had to have surgery. And, you know, so all of these events are happening at one time. The highs and lows and ratings and then Siena got laid off and all, you know, all these different things are happening. And they're all happening within a relatively short amount of time. Well, my brain is going, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down. And I guess it's doing it so much. that I start to go, I don't really have much joy. And I'm not really finding much joy and much flavor in life. And so that's what depression is. You know, that's what it looks like. The cool thing is that I have found that when I'm on the air, I'm actually pretty stoked. When I'm on the air, I'm able to joke around, you know, do a show and joke around. You know, all that kind of stuff. Be yourself. Mm hmm. You know, there were a lot of people that were experiencing very close people to us. My family that we would that boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. We're having issues. You know, our neighbor's daughter was dying of cancer. My friend diagnosed with leukemia. Very close family friend getting.
Pancreatic cancer. Boom, boom, boom, boom. All these things are happening at once. And they sort of flip you upside down. I mean, the crazy thing is, is that what happened with my old show may have been enough already to have made me go. But with all of them, it was a lot. But I'm doing good. You know, I actually am doing pretty good. And I'm going to get it all fixed up. And I think, you know, we're going to be good to go. The medication you talk about, does it help the gland produce or does it replace the production of said chemical? That's why I didn't say it because I wasn't 100% and I wanted to research it before I said it. I don't know if it replaces it or if it stimulates it. Because that's the thing that scares me is once you start, it's like chapstick. Once you start, you can't stop. You can't stop.
It's like Lay's potato chips. Yeah, well, you know about that. Yeah, of course. No, I think, because I've talked to some people that say that they were on medication for it. Right. And that they recovered and no longer took the medication. And so, I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I wish my friends that were therapists would be awake and call in, because they've explained that to me before. Yeah. 5701949 is our number. Mikey Show, who's this? Hi, this is P1 Lola. But, you know, I just want to ask, can you address a bit about the photographer thing? I never heard it before. I thought I'd listen to every show. Yeah. Can you explain that just a little bit? We had a photographer that we used when I was at the old station. Uh-huh. And a really, really cool guy. And he took pictures of my family, and he did stuff like that. And he took some pictures of us. Then said that he was going to give those pictures to me that night. He took pictures of us as a new crew. And said that he was going to give us those pictures. And then called me after he took all the pictures and said, hey, I can't give you the pictures. He called me the next day. He said, I can't give them to you. I said, why can't you give them to me? He said, well, I'm going through a lot and I can't give them to you. And I said, dude.
Please tell me that you're not giving those pictures to the people on the other show. And he said, what? I can't hear you. You're breaking up. And I said, please tell me that you're not giving those to someone else on the other show. And he said, I just really can't say anything. And I wish you the best of luck. And the next thing we know, Woods got a text from somebody on the other show that said, wow. Which to all of us meant, oh, they knew that he was on the show. Well, the only way that they could know that he's on the show is that. There was no other way that they could know because we had kept it under wraps. The only people that knew were us and the people that took pictures of us. And so it was very, very... The whole thing was troubling. And a huge waste of our time. I mean, it was a whole day shoot. All day, at the belly up. Yeah. And there were cool pictures, for sure. Great pictures, yeah. Yeah. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hadn't heard that story before, and I just think that's one of the creepiest things I've ever heard. Yeah, the whole thing has been very cathartic because I've been discussing it. And, you know...
I've been discussing it and at the same time in discussing it, trying to be fair and loving because I want that to be the main part of my personality. I want my main part of my personality to be fair and loving. And I've seen from the other side people saying, well, there's always two sides to a story and things like that. You know, one thing I can tell you is that the other side were able to give their side of the story when I didn't even have a microphone. They did an entire show that I didn't listen to. My dad listened to it. My brother, Steve, flew into town and he and I were sitting on a park bench in San Marcos as my former crew went on the air to tell their side of the story. There's one version of the truth, and then there's the other version of the truth. Well, I believe there's ultimate truth. I believe that you can always have ultimate truth. And yeah, I believe people have different versions. No doubt about it. But what I can tell you is that during that period of time, I was trying to conduct myself in the most godly, professional, and loyal way.
And the things that happened with me, it happened because of paranoia and fear. You know, because people thought something was going to happen. They thought they were going to be fired themselves, that I was going to replace them with Sienna, which wasn't true. Well, I'll be honest with you. I used to listen to your show all the time on the other station. That day when that happened and I heard that, all I could think of was here were people bullying. They were taking a stance. They were getting together. They were saying something about you without allowing you to defend yourself. And I never listened to that station again. A lot of people did because a lot of people believed what they were saying. You know, a lot of people believe what they're saying. Now, in terms of that, I can't really comment on it too much because I don't know. I didn't listen. I didn't listen, so I don't really know. Well, it could be worse. You could still be stuck in the middle of it. Yeah. That's true. That is very true. Yeah. It's very true. And, you know, I mean, I got to make that point over and over again. I am immensely blessed that God intervened in that situation because I wouldn't have taken myself out of that band. The band had to get together without my knowledge and say, we're kicking him out of the band because I would have remained loyal.
I mean, at the time that I was let go, that they said, we're not going to renew your contract, I was remaining loyal. You know, despite what some people in that group thought. Well, this show is so much more fun and so much more enjoyable. And contrary to what some people think, nobody on the show is annoying. So it's very, very comforting and enjoyable to listen to your show. It was the best thing could have happened. I'm sorry that happened so negatively for you, but hey. Thank you. I appreciate that. That's very nice of you. Thank you very much. Mikey Show, hello. Hey, hello. Hello. Go ahead. You're on the air, man. Hey, Mikey. What's up? This is Emily Choi. What's up? I just want to talk about the depression. Oh, yeah. What'd you want to say? Well, I went through the same thing at the beginning of this year. I had a failing business.
I think that's what caused it, but I've been on... We're losing your signal, sorry. Mikey Show, hello. Hi, I'm Linda. I just wanted to weigh in on the medication that Mikey was talking about. Right. And I just had a simple explanation about the gland and the receptors for the chemicals that he was talking about. Yeah, go ahead. You're on the air. Okay. I've been on medication for a while now, and... It's basically, you know how Mikey was saying, your brain goes squish, squish, squish, and squirts out the chemicals. Yes, ma'am. Well, your receptors, eventually they close down. They get worn out, and then you're not accepting the serotonin anymore. So what the medication does is it allows your body to regrow and stimulate the receptors to accept the chemicals. Got it. That's great.
Good explanation. I had to explain that way. Like a swimming pool pump that sucks it in and then spits it out. Okay. If it gets a block in the pump, then your pool gets all... Does the block happen because you just had too much junk? Yeah, so you get a blockage and then you're not accepting them anymore. That makes sense. And then your pool would get all yucky because there would be a blockage in your little pump. That makes sense. It's a big pool. There's a two mile. portion of Mission Beach that is going to be closed. And it's going to be closed till today, just north of Tower 19, south of Mission Beach. Why? Well, because yesterday a lifeguard reported seeing what may have been a great white shark about 100 yards offshore. See, the lifeguard was paddling on a board about 12.
15 in the afternoon when he saw a dorsal fin about 18 inches long protruding from the water near Tower 15. Now, based on the size of said dorsal fin, the shark's estimated size, at least 10 feet long. Want to go swimming, Mikey? No. No, Jay. No, I do not want to go swimming. Here you go, folks. Yeah, you can... If you're going to go swimming, we would. That's for sure. I told you a chum swimsuit. You go inside the cage. The cage goes in the water. You go in the water. Sharks in the water. Sharks in the water. Our shark. When Jay said this morning that you were an old chum of his, he was referring to something else. That's right. That's what he wanted to make me into. An old chum. And here I thought he was just being friendly. Yeah, no, he wasn't. Experienced lifeguard, by the way. He is a diver.
He is a surfer. He is a spear fisherman. And he knows how to identify sharks by the way that they move and whatnot. So he says, great light. I thought that was like an urban legend that the dorsal fins stuck up out of the water. Really? I thought that was only dolphins that actually do it. No, those sharks do it, man. Dolphins do the one where they kind of come up and go under. What's a dolphin? A dolphin. Okay. And then the shark just kind of goes along. Yeah, that's true. Soon you know it. To get. 5701949. We also need to tell you about. We got to tell you all about Lenny Dykstra. And how Lenny Dykstra has been charged with exposing himself. Holy cow. Hurricane Irene. This thing is big.
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf, would you blow me off and play me like everybody else? If I ask you to scratch my back, could you manage that? Like if we had chicken travi, I can handle that. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. 570-1949. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. More from The Mikey Show coming up on FM 94.9. Hey, it's Hillary, and today at noon on FM 94.9, we're doing Desert Island Discs. So what three records would you have to have with you if you were stranded on a deserted island? Are you the Bob Marley sublime Johnny Cash type? Or wouldn't Arcade Fire Radiohead James Addiction Trio float your boat or your raft? I don't care if you pick Black Flag, Melt Banana, and Celine Dion. All right, let's not go that far. Tell us your three favorite records now at FM949SD.com and listen today at noon. Desert Island Discs on FM 94.9. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience,
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Requires no activation. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricket's fair use policy. Coverage not available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. PlayStation 3, the sweetest gaming console around, is now available at only $249. Now for only $249, you can get the biggest and best game. Plus, awesome features like Blu-ray, HD streaming movies, and free access to PlayStation Network. PlayStation 3, now only $249. This report is brought to you by Allstate. The more you protect, the more you can save bundle coverage for your car, plus your boat, your motorcycle, or more. Call your local agent to bundle and save today. Looks like the 125 northbound Hammershaw Road, there's an accident. A van hit a concrete barrier. There's other cars that are involved. On the 54 eastbound Briarwood Road, an accident where it's a hit and run. That victim's over on the right shoulder. And some slowing in Escondido on the 78 westbound between the 15 and the 5. This report brought to you by Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. the face with the awesome flavor of cheetos honey barbecue snacks head to a convenience store today taste cheetos honey barbecue snacks and satisfy the hunger urge you just can't explain i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 and now back to the mikey show with mikey when you're fat you're always feeling a cold breeze woods the best movie ever made footloose lauren i'm all hot and bothered
I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. Word of the day is flame. Word of the day is flame. So when you hear me say the word flame between now and 10 o'clock, I need you to be caller number nine. You get 50 bucks to Crossroads at the House of Blues, which is a great place to eat. And we'll also give you a pair of tickets to Arctic Monkeys and TV on the radio. Lenny Dykstra. You know who Lenny Dykstra is? He's a former Dodger. And apparently he's been charged with exposing himself to women.
in ads on Craigslist. Wow. Yeah. According to a LA release from the DA. Oh, come on, Lenny Dextra. I know it. Two counts, and he could face up to six months in jail, $1,000 fine for each count. He's 48 years old, Lenny. Isn't he still getting invited to parties? Why does he need to be on Craigslist? I don't know. If he's going to expose himself, just do it in a normal fashion. Maybe he likes... Well, what does that mean? Like, I don't understand what it means, by the way. The Craigslist, like, some girl responds to an ad for him selling a couch and he sends a wiener shot? I don't know. I think you're not even supposed to have, like, wiener shots and stuff like that on Craigslist. So you can get spammed for stuff like that. There's so many boob shots in there, though. I know. I think you're not supposed to. I don't even want to know. How Jay knows that there's so many boob shots. I've seen him, too. I'm just saying. I've seen him. Girl Seeking Girl is the fantastic part. Oh, my gosh, Jay. He is the biggest creep. Well, Mike, I save money on porn that way. I just go to crazy. I ain't going to pay for it. Just saying.
Yeah, I'm completely afraid of Craigslist. Don't want to, you know, get held up someplace. Lenny Dykstra has given Craigslist a bad name. Is he? I thought the Craigslist killer gave Craigslist a bad name. I thought Craig gave Craigslist a bad name. It was one guy. Millions of people use Craigslist every day. Just got part of a half pipe off there, so. You did? Mm-hmm. That's where I got the framework for my half pipe. Where'd you meet the guy? At their house. You went to their house? Yeah. It was a super nice couple. Just pull up and you're like, ding dong. Ding dong. And they're like, oh, come back here. We never even talked. We just emailed back and forth. And they're like, hey, this is the address. Come by. Went by and met them. Super nice. Free? Craigslist? No, I just got it. Is Craigslist free? Oh, it's free to post. To be on there and do stuff? It was fantastic. Just make sure you leave a trail of where you're going to be. So if anything happens, you tell someone where you're going. Or have somebody go with you. Yeah. For gosh sakes. Is it easy to sell things there? Oh, in a blink. Oh, it's the best. It's fantastic. I used to do it all the time. What about a car? I want to sell my car. I would do that through the auto trader. Although I did sell my car through Craigslist. You did? Mm-hmm. I'd post it in both. I put it in both, and I got more responses through Craigslist than the auto trader. Look at that. Worried about your family, L.O.B., because your family lives in New Jersey, and this is what they're saying. By the way, if you have any flights that are scheduled out of San Diego,
between now and Sunday, check the flight status, because what they're saying is it's really going to affect air travel to the East Coast. Amtrak's already starting canceling service south of D.C., and the major airlines are probably going to do the same, and they're expecting that to be all the way up the seaboard and inland. There's already a hurricane-watching effect from the Carolinas to New Jersey. What did your mom say? My mom sent me an email. Well, she sent an email last night to all the kids that live in California. That's me, my sister, and my brother. And said that this one is supposed to be the worst that it's been in hundreds of years in the area. And they're really scared. And they've got seven days worth of food to prepare for. And they're expecting to lose power. And then she said at the end, so if anything happens to us, just know. Oh, gosh. We love you all. I was like, Mom! My dad, whenever my dad goes on a vacation, when he drives from here to Yuma with my mom, he writes an email to all of us. Really? And he gives step-by-step itinerary and lets us know that he, you know, I love you guys. Just in case? I guess. Wow. I guess it's a just in case, you know? It's sweet. It's definitely a sweet gesture. It just feels a little bit morbid. Yeah. Don't freak us out.
Freaked out, but I guess now I've got reason to freak out. She's like, the Phillies game is canceled. All this stuff. The crazy thing is, if New York City gets evacuated, which they're going to rule on that today, whether or not they're going to do that, that's going to be complete pandemonium. Trying to get that many people out of that small area. For sure. It's going to be tough. Yeah, I got friends in New York that, one of my friends, they were complete polar opposites. One of my friends is like, eh, we're not that close to the water. We're not that worried. And then my other friend was like, I don't know why. What am I going to do? How am I going to get out of here? I'm glad I'm not there. And they're saying, man, when this thing hits, it's supposed to hit Sunday morning. It's supposed to be really, really big. 100 mile an hour winds. The thing that they're worried about, too, is the flooding. They say it's going to flood? Well, my mom said there's areas that are already, they've got like huge puddles of water. There's roadways that are flooded because they've gotten so much rain this summer that literally the soil can't even handle the water that's going to be coming from this hurricane. I only remember one giant hurricane that came through Houston and it just toppled everything. The trees, it took the roofs off houses. And we were, you know, 45 miles inland. Yeah.
Hey, Jay, I can't find my song, my Hurricane Irene song. It's right there on the working page. It's on the working page. She probably already showed me that. You just went by it. I did? Is it the very top of the... Is it this one? No. Which one? Where is it? Bam. It's just a wishing sound. Oh, no. He's pointing his finger at Chris. He's pointing his finger at Chris. And thank somebody. I had it there, Mike. And now I'm going to have to kill Chris. It's probably the same guy that deleted all my skating footage of the video. Yeah. We've got to tell that story. I can give it to you. Can I tell that story? Pull the curtain back? Did you hear what I said? He was in the other room yelling at Chris. I didn't hear it. I was still yelling at him. L.O.B. said it's almost as bad as when Chris...
Cut all of Jay's skating footage out of the skate video. I just said to him, I said, hey, you cut all my skating out of the video. Well, the deal was is that we made a video of Woods skating for the first time. Now, what does that mean? It's a video of Woods skating. Right. Okay. Who do we need Jay in there for? Show him. So, Chris. Chris is being heads up. Chris is like, hey, I know what to do. I'm going to do a good job here. Jay takes a look at it. Where's all my moves? Chris wasn't there to film it. Jay filmed it all. He set up two cameras at his own house and then gave the footage to Chris. Who edited it like a motion picture, by the way. I mean, it looks like a motion picture. It looks amazing. Of course, a part of the whole story is this. We get to the ramp. Wood's getting his gear on. Then he goes, Wood says, show me. What I'm supposed to do. So you ain't going to show the incredibleness of me? I didn't go incredible. I went average. I wish Woods would call in. I told you guys this story yesterday. He will. And Woods was like, that SOB. I knew it. I knew it. That SOB can skate. Fuck. And I knew he wanted the M1. Oh, he wanted everyone to know.
He wants the whole world to know. If we went to your house for a cooking competition and you cooked something, would your video footage be cut out of there? If it was like, hey, Jay's going to cook something. If he was teaching me, if Mike was teaching me, would you want there to be footage of you cooking? Of course not, Ella B. The part that's funny is you messing up with the cooking. That's the part that matters there. Exactly. I heard him say. Hey, Chris, I noticed you cut all my footage of me skating out the video. What was the next thing he said? He said, well, I was going to redo it. I was like, no, don't redo it. Chris said it was already nine minutes long. Poor kid. Just don't record over my hurricane cut. Let me tell you something. Chris is the sweetest, kindest soul. I know. He's just so sweet. Anyone can be mean to him. Jay finds a way. Jay finds a way. I am firm and I'm training him. I am firm with him. Listen, I am a mentor. I think you're jealous. I'm a mentor. Of how sweet he is? Of how much we love him. Oh, no. I love the fact that you love him. All right. So one more thing on Hurricane Irene. The other thing that you need to know if you got family back there is that the mayor of New York, Mayor Bloomberg, he says.
He's going to decide by 8 a.m. tomorrow morning, Eastern Time, whether or not he's going to order a quarter million people out of New York City. Wow. It's got to be more than that, right? It's just a quarter of a million because it's a low-lying area. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now. Battery Park. Yep. Mass transit system might have to be shut down tomorrow. Oh, my gosh. I know. You know how many people that serves? At least it's a Saturday. You know how many people it serves? 7 million? 8. 8 million? 8 million a day. A day it serves. Here's the Hurricane Irene song. My parents would appreciate that or get mad if I sent that to them. They would get mad. I really want everyone, though, anyone on the East Coast that's listening, be safe. I'm worried about you. Hey, just after 7 o'clock, we're going to talk about something, speaking of Chris, that we're going to be doing with Chris.
We're going to be setting Chris up on a date. Now, why? He's 22, good looking kid, and he's single. Now, the deal is, Jay wants to corrupt him. I'm not going to let that happen. Woods is like reveling in this. Oh, Woods is so disgusting. He's like creepy about it. He's like, yeah, dude, get you laid. Hey, you find yourself an old lady yet, kid? Every single day. Chrissy. Every single day, this is what happens. Woods is sitting here on his computer, back to the door, and he's spitting into a cup because he's chewing Copenhagen. And he hears the door open behind him, and he doesn't move at all. He continues to look at his screen, and he goes, Hey, Chrissy! Chrissy! I love you! And Chris is obligated to say he loves him back. And then, and then, Woods goes, Hey, you got an old lady yet? And Chris goes, Uh-uh.
Working on it. Every day. Every day. Hey, Chris, hey. All right. Love you, man. He's like, hey, you guys. I'm going to make it real right for that kid. I'm going to make it right for him. I'm going to get him laid. That kid live. Chris. There we go. Woods. Gosh. I said, don't corrupt Chris. Yeah, leave him alone. Chris is probably a freak at home. He's probably got ball gags. I hope so. Leather outfit with crotchless. Well, I think he doesn't. Yeah. Chris doesn't have a mic, so he has to just sit here and listen to us and shake his head. We're going to bring him in the studio next hour. Find him a nice girl. Or an easy girl. Or an easy nice girl. He'll ultimately decide. Yeah. That's right. Chris, no sex before marriage. Don't wink and put your fingers crossed behind your back, Jay. Don't you do it. Hey, cocaine before marriage. Yes. All the hair in you need before marriage. That's right. You can do other stuff. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Hey, Chris, all kinds of other stuff before marriage. That's right. Do whippets before marriage. Panky panky. Go to furry parties. Heavy petting. Oh, you sicko. That's nasty. That's a bad phrase. I hate that phrase. A furry party's okay, but heavy petting. Come on, Jay.
Jay took his eight-year-old son, Jasper, to a soccer clinic yesterday. 100 kids. God, it was insane. And he said that the coach that was leading the clinic was a low talker. Yeah. And a kid. It was a kid? Well, how old? He's probably 18, 19. He seemed young. Jay, you should have turned up your hearing aid for this. No, the kids were not paying attention whatsoever. Like they're all just off sugar highs. Jay starts scolding the kids. You did? Oh, it's my job. Okay, but you were there as a coach, not as a fellow parent. Yeah, my team was there. There were multiple teams there. All kinds of teams were there for this clinic. But all the other coaches were kind of just standing on the side. So my assistant coach and I got all up in his grill. Every time he'd say something, we'd repeat it twice as loud. Have you ever had to spank Jasper? Oh, yeah. Dude. Yeah, but not in a long time. I had to spank Jake.
yesterday for the first time in his life oh first time in his life did he get it yeah and it i went downstairs and cried after i did it it's worse for the parent oh yeah and it was a deal where he's been doing this thing where he's been pushing and shoving right and he was shoving kids at school well we've given him timeouts we've told him a ton of times you can't do that you can't do that you can't do that does he think it's funny or is he trying to assert i don't know i'm not sure you know uh But the bottom line is he can't do it. And so yesterday he'd done it again. And if he had done it and the kid had been standing closer to this wall, the kid would have hurt himself. He didn't. But the kid still cried. And we've been talking about it now for a long time. And so I took him into his room and I explained to him, Bubba, I'm going to give you a spanking for the first time in your life.
And I don't want to, but it's discipline and I have to teach you right from wrong. And I spanked him and he said, owie. And he cried. And, oh, it just tore my heart out, tore my heart out. And then I went downstairs and I bawled and then came back up. And you know what I thought was interesting is, you know, he had it. After that, he had a timeout. Because it was really bad. It was a bad situation. So he had pretty big discipline yesterday. But when it was all over, that kid loved on me almost like I've not experienced him to before. It's weird that way. He wanted to make sure you still loved him. I don't know if it's that or if it's more of kids' desired discipline. They desire it. They need it. And they desire it. They want you to set boundaries for them. It's insane. I mean, all aspects of growing up, if you don't, they keep acting out because they want to see how far they can push it. And once you lay down the groundwork, and everybody's going to write in saying, oh, it's not right to spank. And it's not a hard spanking. All it is is the act and the conversation that goes into it for Jasper, for all my kids, for that matter. It was the act of the spanking. I was like, I don't want to do this.
This is why I'm doing it? Rebecca and I have gone back and forth with it because Rebecca was never spanked. She was never spanked. Wasn't she? Not by her parents. Okay, go ahead. Yes, not by her parents. Anyway, so she has conflicted feelings about it. But ultimately, I desire what is best for him. And I do believe that that was what was best for him. And me and my dad did it. And my dad, I remember doing it and it wasn't out of anger. I remember when my dad did it, it was out of discipline. And I remember him telling me that he loved me and that it hurt him to do it. Never believed that. Always thought, yeah, that's just what you say. Who do I know it now? Did you talk to him first about it? First and after. But I mean.
Was this the first time you talked to him about the pushing? No. Okay. Well, then I think that you have to resort to that. It's a last resort. Spanking is absolutely the last resort. But it's when they push it so far. And I make sure that I am never angry. You can never go at it as angry. I go in there. We have a conversation. I go, okay, now it's time. And then the spanking goes. And then I go, okay, now you have a choice. You can lay here and cry. Or you can come back in the other room and you can behave properly. Usually, he's like. I'm ready to go. Tears stop. It's ready to go. I couldn't do it. If I get married one day, I'll make my fake husband spanking. It's not going to be a fake husband. It's going to be a real husband, L-O-B. Let's just all get ahead of ourselves. Put all our eggs in one basket. Aren't those eggs running out? Why don't you leave her alone, Jay? She already said it. Jay, you always say that. Come in with that. He always says that. Well, I was joking. Were you? Don't you know a joke when you hear one? He's right. You know, to be fair. Shut it. You're going to be married. You're going to be married. You're not. You're fine. You're not. There's no clog. You're fine. Oh, gosh darn it, Woods. What? I'm not even there to defend myself. What is it? The old CD? I'm supposed to... No.
He's supposed to set it. Alice Cooper, who I've never, I don't get it. But he recorded a song and he wanted to do something that would freak people out. So he had two different artists in this song that you would never think would record a song with Alice Cooper. We're going to do that. We're also going to talk to Chris about doing the dating game. What it will entail. We'll talk to you ladies, too. That stuff's hooey. You gotta have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world on a tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy! On FM 94.9. You get U-verse TV for 29 bucks a month, six months, DVR included. Now, listen to this. You call today, 182 channels.
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I thought you were going to say a curse word there. No. But he just recorded some song, and he decided that he wanted to kind of throw people for a loop, so he put Vince Gill, and he also put Kesha, the pop singer Kesha, on. Baby wants, baby gets. Oh, my gosh. Sounds like a pinball machine. Are you kidding with that? Goofy mascara. Oh, yeah. Pointing down under his eyes. upside down triangle under the eyes. It seems like that would be like a bit on Saturday Night Live. Like, you know, those little shorts that they do? Like, let's pair these people together and see how random and weird the song can be. I agree. She's in fishnets and she's got a, like, this crazy whatever, but it's got bones all on it, like, printed on it. Oh, my God. Was she 12? I don't know. She's the one that sings with the bottle of Jack.
Come here, Chris. Yeah. Come on down. Take the ball gag out of your mouth. Okay. Put off the leather hood. Are we sitting here? Yeah, sit down. Sit down, Chris. Sit in the kid's seat. Yeah. Yeah, see? Yeah, see? Chris, how old are you? 22. And, uh... Never been kissed. Right? If I ask you a whole bunch of questions? Yep. All right. He's 22. And, uh... When's the last time... You were in a committed relationship. It was a pretty serious relationship about two years ago. Okay. So you broke up two years ago. Yeah. Since then, no girlfriend? No. Okay. Who was he? All right, Jay. That's enough. How am I going to get through this? You know what I mean? I said easy, Jay. I said enough. Because I know if I don't, it's all it's going to be, and I've got to get to talking to him. I thought that came from Chris. I was like, oh, wow, yeah.
Well, if I don't stop, Jay, I'll never be able to talk to Chris. All you're going to hear, gay, homo. Wiener time. Wiener time. Hey. Nice beaver. What's his name? Hey. Nice beaver. So, two years ago, you break up, right? Right. How tall are you? Six foot one. Woo! Oh, my goodness. I didn't realize. He's six foot one. He's the tallest trapping young man. He's a good looking kid. Mm-hmm. Six foot one. Six foot one. All right. He's a handsome guy, but Chris is a very nice guy. Very nice. He's a nice person. Sweetheart. He treats people very kind. It's true. He's clean. Yeah, yeah. Clean cut. He's a clean guy. Hard worker. Hard worker. Of German and Mexican descent. German and Mexican. Yeah. Now, let's see. What was that? This is what we want you to do, ladies. Go to MikeyShow.com. M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W.com. It says The Dating Game with Chris. You're going to click on that. And you're going to tell us your M1 name. You're going to tell us, you know, it's got this thing to follow. Wow, there's a whole setup. Yeah, we got a setup on MikeyShow.com. All right, so here's what you do. You go there and you put in your name and it's going to ask you for your date of birth so we know how old you are because Chris is 22. Yeah.
It's going to ask for your email. And then it says message. What I want you to put in the message area is I want you to tell us about yourself. Tell us what you do. Tell us what you enjoy. Tell us what your hobbies are. Tell us stuff about you. Maybe kinky things that you're into. Yeah. Or not. Or definitely not. Just anything you're into. Topless pictures. There is also an area there that says picture. And it says. Choose file and we need you to submit a picture. If you don't submit a picture, we're not going to consider it. And so you have to submit a picture. And then what we're going to do is we're going to do it like the real dating game. We're going to have you come in here and Chris is not going to be able to see you. And what we'll do is we'll have questions and Chris will be able to ask the questions of the various girls. And then it's not going to be today. It's not going to be today. Because we've got to take submissions for a while. And so you'll be able to ask the questions. And based on their answers, Chris, you will be able to choose what girl you'd like to take out. Bachelor at number one. Number two and number three. And what we'll do is we'll send you out on a fabulous date somewhere here in San Diego. And all chaperones. You will, LLB? Yeah. Can I bring a date, too?
Well, wait a minute. So you're saying it's like a double date? Yeah, is it going to be a double date? Or what are you talking about? You can't sit at the table with them. No, I sit at the table down the way and just make sure there's no funny business. I don't want to make sure there's no aggressive girls out there. Oh, come on. You got my back? Is that what you're saying? So in other words, L.O.B., if you saw the girl put her hand on his lap, you would rush it. I would blow a whistle. And you'd be like, what the hell do you think you're doing here? I would say leave room for the Holy Spirit. Hey! Hey, octopus. Get your hands up. Octopus. Oh, wow. Thanks, Elevines. I didn't know you were there for me. So here's what you do. If you are a young... And call us, too. Yeah. You know? Call us. Love to hear from you. If you're interested in this. What we're looking for is a girl that's serious about this. Easy. Looking for a relationship. I think that's Hollywood's. Open to new things. Is this Hollywood's? Yes, it is. Hollywood's. Cutting into Chris's bit. Yeah. What's going on? I was calling to give him some advice. What's that? Just be aloof. Be aloof. How? Yes, because that's his. So in other words, be completely opposite of who you are. Yes. All right. Act like you don't care.
I love you. On the date or during the game, Woodsy? You're just in life, L.O.B., in life. In life. You're going to have to coach me a little bit then. You're going to have to let me know what to do. Just don't listen to them. I'll get back. I'll coach you up real quick. Have you been drinking already? Not a bit. I just woke up. Oh, happy birthday. Did you really? Yeah, I just woke up. What's the weather like out in Dallas, Texas? It's 100 degrees. Oh, wow. Is it a minute? Am I on the air right now? Yes. And my nephew is on his way over. He's a little angel, and I get to hang out with him all day, and my brother and sister-in-law are on their way over. We are going to hang out, and Mom's going to make some fried chicken, you know, Texas bit. We'll just be here in the trenches taking grenades without the fried chicken. You guys stay in those trenches. I'm going to be out here making a real ride. I'm about to put my suit on, go take a dip in the pool. Oh, wow. Are you really? We're in the foxhole here. I really am. 9.15 in the morning. That's what time it is there in Texas. What choice does he have? It's 1,000 degrees. It's hot enough to go swimming here. Oh, man. Jealous. Oh, man. I miss you guys, dude. I miss you, brother. I miss you, dude. You guys sound freaking great. You guys really do. What are you talking about? You don't even know. Shut up.
No, but I was just listening for like 10 minutes. You guys sound great. We were just saying that during a break. It's like, it's so easy. It's like we didn't miss a beat. No, we did not, Woods. No. Don't believe it. No, no. I was listening. I was like, oh man, vibing. Everybody sounds like they're in a good mood. Yeah, everybody's in a good mood. I'm faking it. Hey, Woods, you want to hear something real quick? Yeah, what, what? Listen to this. Jay, Jay, Jay. Jay, Jay, Jay. Jay Oswald. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. You are kidding. Yeah, guess what? Hey, check it out, Woods. You ready for this? Yeah. It's hilarious. Do you remember yesterday off the air when we discussed that Jay was going to do sports today? Yes. And that Jay was going to gather the sports and that he would deliver it and, like, the whole bit would be... Yeah, that was the whole thing. The whole bit was going to be, well...
You know, Jay flubs his words and it'll be fun. It'll be funny. It'll be funny and fun to see him do sports. Hear him try to talk about, like, touchdowns. Well, yeah. It was a two-part. It was two layers to the onion. A, he's going to flub his words. And B, he doesn't know anything about sports. Okay. Guess what, dude? What? Guy comes in with one story. It's a big story, though. Do you want to know what it was? It's a huge story. You know what it is? It was compelling. What? Tell him. It's Chopu. It's the big surf contest. The Billabong Surf Contest is going on. They are expecting... You've got to understand this wave. Where? First off. It's in Tahiti. Oh, good. Perfect. Which is very relevant to most people in Mission Valley, El Cone. This is a surfing community. We all know about this. Yeah, they want to stop by Chopu today. They want to grab a couple of beers when work is over. This wave is insane. Okay, well, let me ask you this, Jay.
Yeah, well, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that, Woods, because, Jay, tell everybody what channel they can go home today and watch Tofu on. You can. You have to watch it. Tofu, you can watch it live. Just go to billabong.com and you can download all of it. Got it. It's live, though. They have cams and everything in the water. Good. It's amazing. Billabong.com. Yeah, yeah. I have actually watched it before. It is cool. It's just not broad. Oh. Oh, it doesn't hit the average sports fan. I don't know what you're talking about. One story. Well, let's listen to his audio. Just kind of being out there and feeling the power of the wave, you kind of always know that, you know, you've got to show it a lot of respect. You know, for sure, because it's Chopra. It's the heaviest wave probably in the world. It's Chopra. Pretty big risk element involved. You know, you can find yourself in the wrong spot. You can get pretty peeled open by the reef. Right, if you're in Tahiti. Yeah, for sure. They're having a lay day today. They're having to stay out of the water because of the winds. But tomorrow and the next day, they're expecting triple overhead waves. Holy cow. Now, listen. If you could play cut two on that, you can hear the pro surfers talking about...
It felt like I was just dropping for ages. And I'm straight to the reef. Got my legs all cut up, my arms cut up, broke my board in three places. And you turn around and there's a 12 foot plus wave just looming behind you. It was just terrifying. Yeah, just pet him. So pet him. I just saw this thing coming. I was just like, I'm standing in knee deep water and that thing's up there. What do I do? I took a pretty bad white part. I got a natural enema. I was like running on the reef and it was an eight foot set. Eight foot water. It was like a tidal wave. They kind of black out the horizon on you. So it sucks all the way to the corner of the wave. And you just know you're stuck. You know there's nowhere to go. I got pinned up against the reef. I got rolled a few times. And then the leash is almost around my neck. And then I'm almost going to die. I don't really swim down anywhere. There's nowhere to go. So you just kind of wear it on the head and get thrashed around for a bit. When it's doing its thing, it's a quite intense barrel. Definitely gets you hot. Nav. if tofu was happening in San Diego today. It's not tofu, Mike, and you know it. I thought he said it was tofu. When Pinoa came to Tahiti, it was 45 minutes long. I stopped at 30 seconds short.
It was quality audio. That's why. It's an interesting story. It's an interesting story. It is. There's these giant waves. How big are they, Jay? Oh, they're going to be 15 foot on Saturday. But the interesting thing about this wave is there's a shelf. Are they going to be 15 foot or are they going to be 15 feet? 15 foot. And it's Chopu, too. So it's like. Oh, it's super stiff. Are you measuring for the back of the wave or the front of the wave? But the water pushes up on this reef that's only about sometimes ankle deep. Yeah, what about the Yankees and the Padres and the Chargers? Well, I have a little bit of that. All right. Did the Padres win last night? Did the Padres win last night, Jay? I'm going to say no. You can say it. Is that a fact or a guess? No, it's a guess. What it is is a complete and utter guess. This is the greatest. That Jay on sports is the greatest thing I've ever heard, by the way. Let's take a listen again. Jay. Jay, Jay, Jay. Jay, Jay, Jay. Jay on surfing. Yeah, Jay on one story. And by the way, when that was playing, Jay was in there thrusting his fists. He is each and every note. You should call it Jay on sport. Jay said, and Mark, by the way, I have a theme song. I go, what'd you do, Jay? Did you take the woods on sports and insert Jay? And he goes...
He says to me, I go, hey, Jay, you got sports ready to go? He goes, well, Matt, I have a story, and it's good. I love Salesman Jay. I love... You can sell him. Dude, Salesman Jay is the greatest. Biggest eyes. Yeah, big eyes, moves. I mean, he's very... Very, you know, animated. Hair is on end. Shirt shimmies. Shirt shimmies. Mike. Followed by the shirt shimmies. Mike, there's this thing called poo-poo going on right now down in Tahiti. And it is freaking crazy. It's all over the internet. It is crazy, Mike. Oh, man. Man, man, man. I miss you guys. This is my dad. There's M1 Hawk walking around. Yeah. Love M1 Hawk. You got limping it up real good. Yep. That's right. That guy looks like Terry Fox walking over there. Who's Terry Fox? That too soon? Who's Terry Fox? He's that guy with a fake leg right across Canada. That guy. All right. Did he give you that sports story? Yeah. All right, Woods. Well, thank you so much, buddy, for calling in. Oh, boy. Love you guys. We love you. Love you. Come home soon. Thank you very much. And I did some stuff that is pretty freaking fun. Did you?
Did you? That's great. Thank you. All right, so if you're interested in dating Chris, let me ask you this, Chris. Do you want to date somebody that's exactly your age? No, they can be at least 21. Really? Do you like older women? Okay, so they have to be at least 21. I'm glad you said that. Because I like going to concerts and stuff. Right. Yeah, yeah. So a 20-year-old girl can't get into that stuff. No. So 21. All right, now, 21 is the lowest. How old will you go? Careful. I don't know. You know, it really depends, you know? What about, would you go as high as 27? I could, yeah. Could you go as high as 29? Correct!
Older the berry, sweeter the juice. I only did it. I only did it to get Lauren's reaction. To get Lauren's reaction. Chris is not looking at Lauren right now. He's looking directly at me. Because Lauren, let me tell you, Lauren's gorgeous. She's 30 years old. She looks like she's 19. But she's so irritated that she is now in the category of a young 6'1", 22-year-old dude saying, well, you're too old for me. It all depends on life experiences. He's like, Ms. O'Brien, listen. You're beautiful, Ms. O'Brien. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me. Please don't take it the wrong way. Please, ma'am. Ms. Lauren. Yes, Ms. Lauren. I'm just saying, different life experiences, different levels. Okay. You know things. Why do you hate 30-year-olds? I don't hate 30-year-olds. Why do you think that I could be your mom? He's like, well, you can't be my mom, but you could be my super older sister. Yeah. I do have a half-brother that's 30. You do? Yes. All right, so. What's the cutoff age? 30. Let's just say 30. Be honest. Honestly, 30. Hey, this is your life. Don't do it to make me feel you. So you're telling me that if a 30-year-old applies, you will honor the... Yeah? Don't do it. Can I say something, Mike? I just found a pack of old maid cards in Chris's office and he put my face on all of the cards where there was a cartoon.
Chris is wearing a shirt that has Lauren's picture with a circle and a line through it. And it says, me, no likey, old bronze. All right. So if you are a girl between 21 and 30 and you're interested in dating Chris, good looking six foot one, tall, dark and handsome, right? Yeah. And Lauren, you tell the ladies, what do you think? Oh, it's a hot piece of ass. Okay. All right. MikeyShow.com. And just click on the dating game. And we will not accept any people that do not submit the picture. So you have to do that. Don't be an ageist, Chris. I'm not. By the way, this is going to upset a few. And maybe some people won't have a problem with it. But it has to do with waterboarding. And we'll tell you all about it next.
People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Where will you be heading for vacation? The mountains? The lakes? The beaches? Whatever your summer destination, make sure it starts behind the wheel of a 2011 ML350. With up to 72.4 cubic feet of cargo space, innovative brake assist technology, and a revolutionary pre-safe system that can actually detect and prepare for an accident before it happens, the M-Class is the perfect summer road trip vehicle. For one month only, come into the Mercedes-Benz Summer Event and get the exceptionally engineered M-Class with 1.9% APR for 24 to 36 months or lease one for $5.29 a month for 33 months with $5.074 due at signing. So hurry in before the event ends August 31st. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services or participating dealers through August 31, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Owen Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. Morning, Joe. Morning, Ms. Thompson. One of these days, it's going to happen. Somebody's going to try to talk you out of boar's head.
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Well, summer is winding down and a new school year is approaching. It's also time for Bob Stahl Chevrolet's annual pre-Labor Day sale. Our biggest of the year. If it's Silverado for work or an Equinox or Tahoe for the carpool, you'll get a guaranteed lowest price at Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. And remember, when you buy your new truck, SUV, or anything else, your trading is always worth a premium to Bobstall Chevrolet. So for an unbeatable price on your new Chevrolet and your trade-in too, come to the pre-Labor Day sale on now and only at Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. Hear the Authentic Surf Report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado.
This report brought to you by Cheetos Honey BBQ Snacks. Punch your mouth in the face with the awesome flavor of Cheetos Honey BBQ Snacks. You can head to a convenience store today, taste Cheetos Honey BBQ Snacks, and satisfy the hunger urge that you just can't explain. Well, you've got some slowing coming through La Mesa this morning on the 125 southbound Fletcher Parkway, Amaya Drive, all the way down to Lemon Avenue, 10 miles an hour. Not so great in Lemon Grove. It's very slow there, too. Let me see. We've got... The 94 West to Spring Street, 29 miles an hour. And further down on the 94 eastbound 56 Kelton to Federal Boulevard, it is 26 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Carfax. Looking for a good deal and a used great car? Well, start your search looking for a Carfax Advantage dealer. Every car will come with a free Carfax Vehicle History Report. Just say, show me the Carfax. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Searched with the FM 9409 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning, brought to you by Frost Brewed Coors Light, where the mountains turn blue, as cold as the Rockies, Coors Brewing Company Gold in Colorado. Today we're seeing a bit more west-northwesterly windswell crossing over with that little holding south-south-westwell direction. Surf's up just a notch, looking at either waist-high surf on average, up to chest-high with that rare plus at standout areas most open to the swell mixture.
Beach break quality surf type today is the cross-up swell is not favoring the reef breaks. They do have a few pop-up peaks to be had, maybe a quick turn or two is possible. But the beaches have those broken up lines across the peaks, so there's a little bit more open face to be had. Due to the fact that that west-northwestly swell has increased, that water temperature has decreased running down there in the lower 60s right now. Starting to see a lot of full sleeves out there too, so you might want to pack the appropriate to outfit before you head on down. I'm going to actually go surfing the shores this morning myself. So maybe I'll see you there. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard restoration repair needs, you go see my pal Joe Roper out four blocks north of the shed on Marina Boulevard. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I'm back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, And like beat my face and go. Woods, if 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Thinking Chris is hot as a flame. L.O.B. posted a picture on Facebook.com slash Mikey show of Woods with Chris in the middle and L.O.B.
Chris Sandwich. It could be yours, ladies. That's right, ladies. Now, if you want to be a part of the dating game, Chris says that he's looking for a woman that is between 21 and 30. And all you do is go to MikeyShow.com. M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W.com. And when you go to MikeyShow.com, it's the first thing you're going to see there. It's going to say the dating game. Click there. And tell us about yourself and send the picture. There's a little area there where you can send a picture. And what we're going to do is narrow it down to three girls, and Chris will play the dating game, pick one, and we'll send you on a fabulous date. Maybe you call in and hang up just to hear his voice. Yeah. Yeah. He's our phone screener, so that'd be a great way to find out what he sounds like. He is a nice guy. He's a really nice guy. Woods always says things like this. Woods will go, I want to buy him an island. Yeah. He says all these random things. He'll go, I want to put him on a yacht. Yeah. Just take care of him. He just loves him. I want to just love all of them. I just want to love him. He's a real sweet kid. If I was a chick, I'd do it. I just want to pet him. Find his sister. He says that a lot. M1 Heath from Encinitas. What was the word of the day?
Flame. That is correct, dude. You're going to eat at the House of Blues. You're also going to get a pair of tickets to go see Arctic Monkeys and TV on the radio. Congrats. Thank you very much. You got it. Hang on a line. All right, so let's see how this one gets you. This is Dick Cheney talking about how he feels about when he used to have the policy of waterboarding. In your view, we should still be using enhanced interrogation? Yes. No regrets? No regrets. Should we still be waterboarding terror suspects? I would strongly support using it again if circumstances arose where we had a high-value detainee and that was the only way we could get him to talk. Even though so many people have condemned it, people call it torture, you think it should still be a tool? Yes. It doesn't kill people. It just makes them feel like they're drowning. It doesn't kill them. It gives them the sensation that they're drowning. It isn't pleasant.
But from what I understand, we were able to garner a lot of information from terror suspects at Guantanamo by using it. Now, I'll tell you this guy that I support is John McCain. And John McCain is fiercely against it. He was in the service and said he's very against it. But John McCain was tortured himself in a Vietnamese prison. And he believes that waterboarding is a lot like he believes that it's a lot. torture that's what i was gonna say it begs the question if we heard of our americans over in other places and they were taking what they deemed you know measures that that were not going to kill anyone but they were still you know a little bit extreme how would we feel well we wouldn't like it but we're not supposed to i think well they're chopping off people's heads over there so true yeah yeah but we don't like that yeah but we don't support it yeah i don't think we're going to that extreme i support stuff that helps us I don't support things that hurts us. I think that's the way it's supposed to be. 570-1949. Lindsay Lohan wants to sue the rap artist Pitbull because he referenced her in a song, which makes me think that she's broke. Yeah, exactly. Because if she wasn't broke, I don't think she'd care. She'd like the free pub. Yeah. But anyway, this is Pitbull talking about it. Were you surprised when you found out that Lindsay Lohan had filed a suit against you? Not at all. I was very surprised.
When I found out about the lawsuit, to me it was very ironic, to be honest with you. I couldn't... Why was it ironic? A little too ironic. What about it was... Well, let's see if he says. At first I read it. Nah, it's got to be a joke, you know. Pero... Pero I speak Spanglish, which is a mixing of English... ¿Cómo se dice? Spanish. I find out that it's very realistic. But me being someone that supports Lindsay Lohan's career where I've seen her go through everything that she's gone through and everything that has to do with this record is so positive. If you see the way I started off the record where I took my life from negative to positive, I just want you to know that. When I mentioned Lindsay Lohan in the record, it was really a positive message. And it's funny because the quote... Because I was like, you know... I want to snort some coke like Lindsay Lohan. Yeah. So I don't know what people were trying to take it in the wrong way. I have now. It's all wrong. What is the actual lyrics? They're like hustlers move aside. Because, you know, I said hustlers move in silence. So I'm tiptoeing to keep blowing. I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan. When I say I got it locked up, if you play at the park, if you're from the neighborhood, when they say you got it locked, you got it locked up, that means you'll run that area. That's not what he meant. No, you meant that you're in jail. Yeah.
And she's been in jail. Doesn't matter, though. Yeah, you can't reference people in songs anymore. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Well, mission accomplished for Pitbull, because I never knew who he was until Lindsay Lohan tried to sue him. Didn't you? 570-1949. I really want to get your take on this. Mikey, my parents are unfortunate casualties. of the lousy economy. After working straight for almost 40 years, they lost their jobs. They've been out of work for over a year. I have a job, and every month I send them help money. But the other day, they told me that they'd used some of the money to buy an iPad. Should my parents be squandering the money I send them on things like iPads? They say I owe them because they paid for my college education and raising me. They maintain. They can do whatever they want with the money I send them. And one rust. Well, here's the deal. If your parents are low on cash and they're not able to help themselves, then I think that it's very admirable that you're going to help them out by sending them money. If they're buying iPads, then they've shown you that they're...
not very responsible with the money and they'd rather squander the money unless they don't have a home computer or a laptop and the ipad is cheaper than both of those things and they feel like they need the internet yeah that would be my only reason but if they're just getting that as a luxury that's really that's definitely not necessary and i think that we all have that feeling of you know hey if our parents helped us out we want to help them out you know yeah i think it should be You should have that natural inclination, but it would be unfair for the parent to say, first of all, that they supported you your whole life because you didn't ask to be born. You know, they had you. Yeah, what are you going to do? What are your mom and dad? And then the college thing is, I think that's wrong to hold that over someone's head. You know what I mean? It's like that was the choice of the parents to put them through college or have the kid work or take out student loans. And it's a little unfair to come back now and say. To say they raised you. Yeah.
You know, I'm not going to say to my sons, Jake, Luke and Ryan, hey, listen, raising you is an expense. And your mom and I have talked about it. We just we can't do it. Well, we can do it, but we'd rather buy a house in Tahoe. Well, college is a whole different thing, though. College is a different thing. College is a different thing. But the raising me bit. Yeah, the raising me bid I don't agree with, but the college thing, absolutely. Sure. You should pay them back for the college. What? You should? No. Oh, for sure. Not if they didn't. No, bro. Why not? Because that's what you put aside for your kids, what you do for them. It's one thing if you had an agreement, like, I'm going to put you through school, but when you get out and get a job, I expect this money back, and it's better than the interest rates that, you know, the government or another. That's a business transaction. Not everybody can afford to put their kids through school. No, but if you do, you've decided that you're going to. But then you get into a bind, and your kids could easily pay you back, then they should pay you back for the college. I think it's about the expectation, because the kid might not have gone to a particular school, or they might not have chosen.
to go to college at all. And now it's like going, being retroactive about it is kind of unfair. M1 Paul from Scripps Ranch. What's up? I think he needs to just dial it back a little bit. Obviously, he's helping a lot. Maybe he just needs to help a little less. Because it's his money. Because, right, I mean, he wouldn't be so torqued if it wasn't his money. Dude, I'll tell you this. Unless Lauren's thing about they needed a computer with the exception to that. Okay? It's not right. But here's the other thing. How much help money is he giving them? I mean, he can't be financing them completely. That's a lot of money. Well, what if you give $100 a month and they've been saving it for the past couple months? Exactly, exactly. So now obviously they've got a fair bit of cash they can go buy these things. Maybe he only needs to give them now $50 a month. Thanks. Yeah, if they're spending it on things like iPads, it isn't right. Agreed. Thank you for the call. Yep. Appreciate it. 570-1949.
Now, if there's no agreement, then there really isn't a question. If there's no agreement, you don't make an agreement. You know, my parents helped me out with a lot of things. And with some of those things, they said that there was an expectation that they would be paid back. Right. And unless you're my brother, Steve, you got to do it, you know. Oh, wow. Backhanded. What, Jay? Why are you shaking your head? Why are you calling him out? Is he getting preferential treatment? Hey, it ain't Steve's fault. I told my dad. He said, it ain't Steve's fault. It's your fault because you lend it to him. You keep giving him the money. Enabling? He ain't going to pay it back. It ain't his fault. Is he desperate for the money, though? Please. Just take this opportunity to bash your brother. I'm not bashing my brother. Aren't you? No. A little bit. A lot.
Guy's got a Hummer with a bunch of TVs in it. What do you mean? Do you know him? He has a Hummer with a bunch of TVs in it. He's got TV panels in the back of the seats. Does he have kids? No. We got in the car and he has a little video of these hot girls that go, Welcome to Steve Airlines or whatever. Could be a crackhead. Could be a crackhead. Because he's a videographer. Is that the correct word? That's right. He filmed it? Yeah. Edited it? Yes. Produced it? Uh-huh. Inserted it? Yes. What is wrong with him? You should see it. I don't want to. It's both funny and irritating and cool and dumb. It's all sorts of things. Mixed emotions when you watch it. Oh, yeah. A hundred. M1, Luis from San Diego. Can I get a hundred on, please? $100 on what now? Swiss, I think. Swiss? Already, first track time already opening up? The roulette table? Yeah. Can I get a $200 on Donkey's Pleasure? I'll take $50 on Don't Think She'll Go, and I'll take $25 on Let's Make a Deal. M1 Rich is from Sereno Valley. Hey, good morning. Good morning. I think that...
The parent should go ahead and buy an iPad if they want to. Think about how many times your parents give you money and you go spend it on things that they don't want you to go spend it on. This is maybe one thing that they've spent it on when you've probably taken money from them and spent it on numerous things. Parties at college that they wouldn't necessarily agree with. Numerous things. All right. Can I play devil's advocate with you? I just want to let me play devil's advocate with you. Okay. Let's say that you were in high school, your parents gave you money, you squandered it, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. The difference between your parents and you is that you were an immature child. Yes. Okay, they're a grown adult. Yes. That's one thing. And then the other deal is that the spirit of the money is that the parents were casualties of the lousy economy. And so they lost their jobs. They've been out of work for over a year. This guy's helping out. Now, I understand what you're saying. But if you're helping your parents out, don't they have an obligation to be grownups? Yeah. That's just devil's advocate. You don't want to completely gut. You're not going to stand over the person and go, no, I want to see what my money's going towards. You're not going to govern it in that way. But when it comes back with a luxury item, you just kind of want to be like, well.
Hey, I'd like an iPad, too, but I've actually been putting that discretionary income towards my parents. Can you imagine if you wanted an iPad and you haven't got one? Yeah. Happy birthday. Wow. You guys pay the electric? M1 Whoopi from Bird Rock, what's going on? Hi, guys. Hi. A couple of things. One, yeah, it's great that this kid is helping out his parents, but I'm pretty sure that there has to be another. stream of revenue hitting this house because this little bit of money, he's helping out. It's not covering mortgage. It's not covering a lot of the bills and stuff. He says he's helping out. And if they've been two grown adults who've worked their whole lives, have been unemployed for over a year, it takes a huge emotional toll on your thing. You're giving up the dinners. You're giving up all the things that have been normal to you. And now you don't even have that.
Here's your son who's helping out, and you look at each other and think, let's just be normal. Let's just do something that somebody's normal does. We're going to buy an iPad. Now, if he's upset with that, then that's his right. He can. But he didn't say that he was putting strings attached to this. So what if his parents wanted to go out to dinner one night? Is he going to have a problem with that? They've been unemployed for a year. I don't think anybody would be upset about somebody going out to dinner. If they went out to dinner to Pamplemuth? That would be different. Why? Well, because that's an expensive dinner. But if they went out to Applebee's, I don't think that's a problem. It's airing on the side of practical versus luxury. Yeah, exactly. Like an iPad, that's a pretty big deal. Are you saying that a person who's been unemployed for any length of time just can't take a moment just to be normal? Because I'm sure if they're working, they could do it. And here they are, and it's a boost to their self-esteem and their psyche to say, let's just have one thing nice because we don't know when we're going to have it again. Well, hey, I am totally down for people having nice stuff, all that. Who isn't? I think that the spirit of helping his parents out is so that they can pay their bills. I mean, they're not...
They're not able to pay their bills and and and things like. And I do think that going out to dinner is a luxury. But even pample moose is a special luxury. I mean, I remember a few years back, Rebecca and I had to say, we can't do pample moose. We can't do pample moose for a while because, you know, we were doing a budget and we just knew that that was a luxury we couldn't do. And if we were going to go out to dinner, it had to be Red Robin. Because, you know, it was cheaper. And, you know, so if mom and dad are not able to pay their bills and they go to Red Robin, I don't think anybody's got any problem with that. They're going to Donovan's and, you know, it's a $300 dinner. You're like, mom, dad, that's $300. That could go a long way for other stuff. Heck, yeah. Which is why I think that, one, there has to be some unemployment. Something has to be hitting. in that household to help with some of that stuff. I kind of think that his parents, agreeing with the LOB thing, they might not have a major electronic device to keep them linked in to everything that they need to do in order to get back on track looking for a job or whatever. But he can't just half-assume that, oh, they just decided randomly to start buying high-end electronics for the fun of it. I mean, if he was that concerned, if he...
Why can't he pick up the phone and talk to his parents directly to find out? Nah, he wanted to ask the Mikey. Because that's the grown-up adult thing. I mean, come on. Thank you, Whoopi. Hey, Whoopi, I appreciate it. Thank you very much. Bye, guys. M1 Dustin wrote in. He said, the whole you owe us because we raised you and cared for you thing is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. That's the parent's job and responsibility. We're not like animals where we can fend for ourselves. after a few months or a year, holding that over a child's head is wrong. It's my choice to have kids. And with that choice comes the responsibility of raising them to 18. Anything I choose to do for them after that is a gift. Expecting anything in return is wrong. I applaud that, Dustin. I think that's right. I think that until your kid's 18, it's your responsibility to raise them. And after 18, you bet. My parents gave me more than enough growing up and even through college. And now, because I felt so blessed, I give them, I try to give them things back and they always try to refuse it from me. And they're like, you know what I mean? They want me to be on my feet first. When we come back, we're going to do a few things. Old Man Who Does Science is next. We're also going to play Why Are We Here? We also...
We're going to let you hear this guy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There's a picture of him on our fan page, too. But Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the dude that was in Inception. And he sang a cover of Lithium by Nirvana. And it ain't bad. Hang on. He holds a shell up to his ear. He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates. Glorious. Most interesting man in the world.
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drive a disabled car it's blocking the number two and the number three lanes this report it's brought to you by carfax traffic's bad enough without car problems so before you buy a used car get a free carfax vehicle history report from your dealer just say show me the carfax or you can go to carfax.com i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 kbz t san diego the lincoln financial media station and now back to the mikey show with mikey uh i can't do anything i can't do anything Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise. We got Mikey Show up in the studio right now. Very nice. And want to remind you, if you're just tuning in, if you're a single girl and you're between 21 and 30 years old and you are interested in going out with Chris, cross. Just go to MikeyShow.com, and you'll see when you go to MikeyShow.com right there on the front page, it says The Dating Game. You click there, and you fill some stuff out. Tell us about yourself. It's a little form where you tell us about yourself. You send us a picture, and we're going to have three eligible girls come in here. You've got to be between 21 and 30, and three eligible girls will come in. He'll select one. We'll send you on a date.
And, you know, we can tell you in all honesty, we're protective of this kid because he's a really good guy. If you don't know anything about him, you can see a picture of him on our Facebook page, facebook.com slash Mikey show. And Chris is 22. He's six foot one. He's got dark hair. He is half German, half Mexican. And really nice. His parents raised him right. Joseph Gordon Levitt. There's also a picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt on our page right now. If you want to see who this actor is, he was in the movie Inception. And apparently is also a musician. So what I do is I play something that I don't own the intellectual property to. So if you record this, you can't put it on our site. But put it on other sites.
And I really don't care what the f*** you do with it, because I just want to play this song in this town. I'm so happy. I'm gay. I'm so ugly. It's okay, because so are you. Broke up me. It's Sunday morning. I'm not scared. Light my candles. It's not a taste, because I forgot. Yeah. Dude's an actor. Not bad, right? Oh, yeah. And he knows that he can nail that song. Yeah. That's pretty good. That is good. 570. You just thought it was okay, Jay? Weird. We'll have, maybe we get a karaoke machine in here. I didn't say I could do it. All right. Well, let's see what you can do. Because now it's time for the old man that does science. Jay's the old man who does science. Oh, wow. Look at Jay. Look at Jay. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Here's Jay. Oh, boy.
Jay, he's got on his lab coat, dirty stuff right now, and his protective goggles. Notice we don't have protective goggles. No. And we're in the same room. So, Jay, what will you be doing as your science experiment today? I'm going to make ghost bubbles. Okay. Who doesn't? Yeah. What are ghost bubbles? Well, I'm going to have to show you. Basically, what I've done is I've taken a plastic container and I cut a hole in the top and I put a, what does that call it? A tube valve. Like a valve. Put a valve on the top and then connect it to some tubing. So, Chris, you're in the way. Oh, wow. Be nice to Chris. Get out of my way, Chris. Get out of my way. Lauren, I'm going to need your assistance today. Now, why do I need these gloves? Jay has given me a pair of gloves. Oh, wow. What is he doing? He's got a cooler. He's got an Igloo cooler, and inside the cooler is a paper bag. Dry ice. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. He's got dry ice. It's a lot like that time when that bottle blew up in the other room. Yes. Remember when I did that? That's why it scared me. What are you doing? I'm going to drop it inside the water here. Oh, gosh. Be careful. There's plenty of people in here. It's starting to really bubble. So that water is really hot, right? Can you come over here, Lauren? What did I do? What did I do? Wait. The water's hot? The water was hot, yeah.
And so... So what I'm going to do, I'm going to put the top on, but not really firmly put it on. So now it channels it through there, right? Okay, yeah. It's coming out of this tube. So I'm going to put it in here. Now he's putting the tubing into some soap. It's really going strong, so I'm going to have to... He's putting the tubing in some soap. Here we go. And it's bubbling. And oh, wow. Oh, wow. And he's letting them bubble into L.O.B.'s hand, and then it explodes, and mist goes everywhere. More bubbles, and... Ghost bubbles. Ghost bubbles. Once you pop them, it makes them really heavy. It's cool because when they form into bubbles, they look like a cow ball, to be honest with you. It does look like cow balls, and then it bursts open, and out comes all the smoke. Yeah, it's ghost bubbles. That's pretty cool, Jay. It's pretty cool. I'm making them really fast because this is a lot of pressure. Let's hear it for Jay. Nice job, Jay. I'm here to do this all day now. Nice job. So will that thing ever stop bubbling? He's the old man who does science. No. Once the ice has gone out of it. He's the old man with technology. Oh, wow. The old man who does science. I don't know where he gets the stuff. The old man with technology. He blinded me with science. Where were you able to get a hold of him? But he failed in biology. The dry ice. Albertsons. Oh, wow. That's my secret, so I'm telling you. All right. That thing looks dangerous. That's cool, Jay.
Thank you. It looks like it's boiling. It does. And don't worry, you'll be able to see all of this on our Facebook page because we will post it on there very soon. 570-1949 is our phone number. And you can give us a call if you want to. And it is time for us to play Why Are We Here? Now, we played Why Are We Here yesterday, but we're going to do it again today because we had a lot of fun with it. And the way that we play Why Are We Here? is we will reach into one of these cups, and that has the people in it. Okay, voices that we do. And then the other thing is locations, and we'll pull out a location, and then we'll have to decide why those two characters are there. So the first character is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't want to do two voices, though. Okay.
So if I pull another one and it is me, I don't want to do two. Happy birthday. Yeah, the other one's Tom Brokaw. I don't want to do Tom Brokaw and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't want to do them both. I could do a voice for the year or something. Please do that. Yes, that is Miley Cyrus. I'll do Tom Brokaw. You be Miley Cyrus and I'll be Tom Brokaw. And we are on a train. We're going to be on a train together. How does that sound? Sounds great. Oh, well, hello. How are you? Hi. I'm very good. I can't help but notice that you're wearing practically no clothing. I'm like Miley Cyrus and stuff. I'm a superstar, so I don't need to wear clothes. I'm sorry. You said and stuff after you introduced yourself, so I'm having a hard time figuring out what exactly you meant. Stuff means like anything that could be related to a celebrity like me or like my dad. For instance, because of the way that you're dressed provocatively, if I were to ask you...
Are you on the pill? You may answer that question by saying, I'm on the pill and stuff. I might say something like that and stuff, but I'd probably just say, no, I'm not, because I'm taking my chances. What the heck is that? I believe that's Jay adding a sound effect into the sound effect. Is that a beluga whale? It's either that or some sort of porpoise. Or, as Jay would say, a purpose. So, tell me, Miley Cyrus, why are you on this train? I'm trying to run away from home and stuff. You're running away from home. I figured, like, nobody takes a train except for, like, old people, so nobody would really, no offense. Are you trying, well, that's a dual-level joke. You're making fun of me, Tom Brokaw. That's all I'm saying, why? And also Mikey, because Mikey recently rode a train. I don't even know. I don't even know what to talk about. Oh, yes, you do. So, tell me something.
Miley Cyrus. Okay. Do you often wear a bikini when you ride on the train? Yeah, because for me, it's like always a party in the USA, so it's like, you never know. Isn't there like a pool train up here or something, like a pool cart and stuff? I don't know. I just know you've said in stuff again. Now, let me ask you something else. Can you buy me beer? No, I can't buy you beer, but here's my other question. I just read on my iPad that you recently... We're traveling by the ocean and so you're hearing the sounds of whales calling and mating to each other as they travel the distance from Hawaii to Alaska where they will mate. I didn't know like a train could go over an ocean. I didn't either. Let me ask you a question, Miley Cyrus. I recently read on my iPad that you just turned 18. So why would a grown adult be running away from home? He's like, my dad's trying to rule my life and stuff. I'm like, Dad, I'll buy the Cyrus. I'll buy the Brace. He already ruined his life with achy, breaky heart and the haircut. That's like a good song. There you go. Ladies and gentlemen, that is Why Are We Here. Train whistles. That's so true. They're train whistles. Hey, listen. Jay goes, yeah. Jay says to himself, I don't have any whistles on here. I need to do something. He's a dying owl.
Oh, it was great. 570-1949 is our number. Woodsy is not with us today because he is playing in a... Well, first of all, he's swimming right now. He's in a swimming pool in Texas. And he's going to be playing in a charity golf tournament later today or this weekend or something. Happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. Let's see. So, a couple of things I wanted to tell you about. First of all, Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter. They were going out. I didn't even know. Jeter's 37. And he's, you know, the shortstop for the Yankees. And he was dating Mink Kelly, who's 31. And they've been dating for three years. They just split up. It's been confirmed on JustJarred.com. Whatever the hell that is. Just Jared. Apparently the breakup was amicable. Both of their reps have confirmed it. There's a new HBO documentary show called Dieter Jeter 3K. It was a documentary that was keeping track of the fact that he was going towards 3,000 hits. I'm sure Woods has watched that. Of course. And Mika Kelly, she's going to be on that new Charlie's Angels show. Anybody seen the previews for the new Charlie's Angels coming on TV? It's produced by Drew Barrymore. And yeah, it's going to be a new...
TV show that's coming out. In New Jersey, tell me what you think about this. In New Jersey, they are now going to start paying kids in Camden, about 70 kids. They're going to give them $100 each if they make it to the end of the semester without skipping class. Wow. Who said get? Come on over. I want to talk to you. I want to ask you. I want to get your opinion. Now, why get? They're kids. I mean, go to school. Here's the thing, though. What's your name? Tim. Tim, don't you think that childhood, like when you're teaching kids when they're kids, shouldn't it sort of be a mirror of some kind of being an adult? Like when you're an adult, you go to work, you get paid. Why not incentivize? I mean, that's what our incentive is to go to work. Otherwise, we'd be doing this for free, which I would. Just kidding. Just kidding, Rick. Just kidding, Rick Jackson. Our general manager just heard that, and he's like, I'm going to give the guy five bucks next year.
But seriously, I thought about it. My initial thought was we're paying kids. But then I thought, well, wait a minute. I mean, when you grow up and you go to work, you get paid. Well, can I give you my input on this? Yeah. Because I grew up outside of Camden. That's where my dad's from. And I grew up like 10 miles away from there. It's a really rough area. Really bad. Really high dropout rate. A lot of kids involved in selling drugs and stuff like that. So my guess is it's an incentive for them to stay in school and probably learn the lesson of like a job. You can have something that's honorable. You don't have to turn to drugs and gangs and violence and stuff like that. It's a great incentive. I mean, it's cash. I mean, everybody's strapped as it is, though. Looking at that, where is that going to put you? How many people are... What if we get a whole bunch of kids that jump on board and then you can't pay them? Well, the school's going to pay them no matter what. I'm wondering where the money's coming from because they just laid off like 400 police officers and firefighters in Camden. Education's supposed to be your pay. They're teaching you. So that's your... So that's what you're getting paid. The benefit is that, hey, you get a free education. But kids don't see that. No. No, but...
I think the lesson is hard work pays off. And so that's my guess is don't take the, you know, the unscrupulous route of selling drugs and trying to play the game. You know, here's the thing. You get you have an agreement. You go and you learn and you do your work. You get paid. Same thing when you enter the workforce. Yeah. How cool would it be if they went if they could do it for the entire year? It's like, hey, if you go the whole year without missing, you're going to get this bundle of money, whatever it is. Maybe it's a hundred bucks. That's what it is, man. But it's just for a semester. But I think that would get. Keep kids in school. I think the motivation is great. But kind of the reality of it is kind of play it forward and see where it goes. Yeah. If you do get results, great. Yeah. It's just a really, really bad area. So they probably have a really high dropout rate. Thank you, dude. 570-1949 is our number. If you want to weigh in on that, we'll certainly hear what you have to say. I thought this was interesting. L.O.B., one of her friends was showing her a list of rules that her daughter got on the first day of school from her teacher. Now, she's in seventh grade. There's a list of rules that she got. Check this out. And ask yourself if things have changed at all. This is much stricter than it was when I was in school. But I want to ask you, L.O.B., do you remember the year that you were in seventh or eighth grade? For me, it was 1983.
I was probably 93. Okay. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Okay, so you were in 7th, 8th grade, 93. I was in 7th, 8th grade, 83. Now listen to this. List of rules for the average 7th grader here in San Diego. Is this in San Diego? Mm-hmm. I didn't want to give any specifics, just in case that teacher doesn't. All right, now here's the rules. No chewing gum. You can only use the bathroom a certain number of times throughout the year. Okay, now think about it. I understand the thought. The thought is kids are knuckle. I got to go pee. Do you want to know what the number is? What is it? Nine. Plenty. Nine times a year? Dude, I say three times a year. Listen, I say pee before you're in class.
I can barely... We can. We can. Yeah. It's like a... How long is a class, though? An hour? An hour? That's a lot. Oh, my God. What, are you going to pee yourself? You got to wear a diaper now? No, but it hurts. No, it doesn't. Give me a break, you crazy kid. Girls have smaller bladders than boys. Please. It's not scientifically backed. Well, first of all... Well, first of all, I don't know that it's an hour. It might be less, but... Yeah. Easy, small bladder. Yeah. I mean, okay, so anyway, so nine times a year they get to get permission to go up. Just speaking for myself, I used to do that bit all the time just because I wanted to go school around. Walk around the hallway? Yes. You just want to go walk around. You're bored. Yeah. Let's see. You can never get up to sharpen your pencil during class. You're expected to have a sharpened? pencil with you at all times. If it breaks, you hold it up in the air and you have to wait for the teacher to come get it. No problem. And sharpen it for you. No problem. Oh, come on. Like, why is that bad? Can't we come and go as we please? No. Oh, my goodness. Have you been in those classes, though? The kid that goes up there and just sharpens and then sits down. I mean, Jasper does this all the time. We've got electrical and he'll go in the room. It's supposed to be doing it somewhere. Come sit down. He's like, broke again. Yeah.
Well, you know that this started because of people that were a distraction. Well, that was the thing that I was saying. It's like more of a disciplinary than teaching. All right. Now, explain this one to me, Lauren. Never sit in your seat unless you're given permission to move. Yeah. What does that mean? You have to come in and line up and then go to your seat when the teacher tells you to. You come in the class, you get in a line? Yeah, line up along the side of the walls and then go sit in your seat when you're given permission to sit down. I think she does roll call and you sit when your name is called. Interesting. Which seems like a giant waste of time to me. And you can't leave when the bell goes off, only when the teacher dismisses you. Well, that makes sense. Jasper's teacher did that. Yeah, I'll be late to my next class. Happy birthday. They would teach. He would teach till he finished what he was doing. He would teach, teach, teach, and then. I've been in that classroom before and it drives me nuts because sometimes you're late for your next class. I had to hold my pee because I can't go during class. I'm willing to have this discussion with teachers, but I think that that's a bad teacher. And I'm willing to hear it out from the teacher. Here's my thought.
Happy freaking birthday. Look at the clock. You have a clock in there. Watch the clock and figure out when you're done. Wrap it up. Jasper was only in one class for the whole day, so it didn't make a difference. He wasn't trying to get somewhere else. But what it did do was all the other classes were already broken down 10 minutes before the bell even went off. They got their stuff, put it all away. This guy would finish his entire thought, and Jasper's class would file out very slowly, get their stuff. The other class was like, ah! Hey, that's the expression, saved by the bell. Come on. Yeah, and it was great. I mean, he did great. Did you see what happens in the movies? They'll say, hey, Jonathan, where's your homework? Sorry, gotta go. The bell rang. Saved by the bell. Well, do you guys ever have teachers that did or said something in class that nobody would probably believe? But it's not like they were being videotaped so they would get away with it. I had a teacher talk about wetbacks one time, and that's how she said it. Ann Smith, I'll never forget, Mrs. Smith, talking about wetbacks. Told my mom about it. My mom flipped. I'll tell you how she said it and what she said. And if you had a teacher that ever just said something weird or did something weird, like did something really weird, like farted or...
Did something that was weird and inappropriate. 570-1949. Make some noise in here. We got a live studio audience. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 90. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Friday night's Butthole Surfers show is now at Brick by Brick. Next Friday, go see Fitz and the Tantrums at the Del Mar Racetrack for a 4 o'clock Friday. Next Sunday, September 4th, the Great American Showcase downtown at El Dorado Cocktail Lounge. It starts at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. The soft pack, the nervous records, the howls, the creepy creeps. It's going to be so much fun. We've got two nights of thievery corporation at House of Blues September 7th and 8th. Also September 8th at the Cavs.
Spa telekinesis will play for the SD Music Thing kickoff party. And an about-the-music show with Givers happens at the Casbah September 11th. Still to come this summer, The Kills, TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys, Bush, Portugal, The Man, Peter, Bjorn, and John. An about-the-music show with The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, also Ryan Adams, Foo Fighters, Boxing Rebellion, and Black Joe Louis and the Honey Bears. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. They say patience is a virtue, but if you've been waiting to get your hands on a new Honda, there's only so much anticipation one can take. Well, finally, the wait is over. We've just received a factory fresh allotment of Honda Accords, the only vehicle to make car and driver's 10 best list 25 times. And to celebrate, we're giving away 0.9% APR financing for qualified buyers. With the best resale value in its class from Kelly Blue Book, the Accord offers the perfect combination of style and fuel efficiency.
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Navy Federal members, military, DOD, and their families apply today at NavyFederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA, equal housing lender. This report is brought to you by Carfax. Traffic is bad enough without car problems. Before you buy a used car, get a free Carfax vehicle history report from your dealer. Just say, show me the Carfax, or you can go to Carfax.com. Encinitas, the 5 southbound Santa Fe Drive, an accident on the right shoulder. It's a two-car crash. They do have tow trucks on the scene. The 8 westbound before Fairmont Avenue, an injury accident, hit and run. It's involving a motorcycle. That rider is over on the right shoulder. And the 8 westbound Marina Boulevard, an injury accident, four cars. They've got the two and three lanes blocked. and it's backed up from the 163 connector. This report also brought to you by Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. Punch your mouth in the face with the awesome flavor of Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks. Head to a convenient store today to taste Cheetos Honey Barbecue Snacks and satisfy the hunger urge you just can't explain. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, get up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of...
girly stuff. Woods. I'd bathe myself in ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts, the reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise with our lives. Nine ladies between 21 and 30 years of age. We're setting crops up on a date. Chris is 6'1". And, uh... Tons of fun. Well, tons of fun makes sound like he's... He's fat. No. He's not. It means he's a blast to hang out with. Oh, okay. I'd have preferred a blast to hang out with, but you said tons of fun. It didn't rhyme with six foot one. Okay. He's six foot one and tons of fun. And so much fun. Okay. I like that. And here's the thing with Chris. L.O.B. says, how did you put it? Hot piece of ass. Okay. That's how L.O.B. All right, listen. That's the way that L.O.B. said it.
But he's a handsome guy. You can see him on Facebook.com slash Mikey Show or MikeyShow.com. He's a really good kid. Nice guy. We are not looking for some girl that is going to break his heart. Yeah, don't you dare. Cheat on him. What else? Don't be a gold digger. Yes, don't be a gold digger. Chris is going to make a lot of money one day. He's going to be really successful. He's a very hard worker. Now we just guaranteed a bunch of gold diggers. Yeah, why would you do that? But he's broke now, so. I'm going to go. He just gave a look like, great, thanks. Go to MikeyShow.com. And when you get there, you're going to see the dating game. Click on that, ladies. It'll help you out, and you send us a picture, tell us about yourself, and it's real easy. So the question was that we asked before we went to break was, did you ever have any teachers that were really, really weird and did something crazy in class that just flipped you out? Mikey Show, who's this? This is Joseph. Hey, Joseph. So what happened with you? I had a teacher that he would see us sagging our pants.
And in front of everybody, he would pull our pants down. Holy cow. He would see if your pants were sagging, he would walk up to you and he would yank your pants down? He would pull your pants straight down in front of everybody. Pants you? He would pants you. Straight up pants you. What if you were commando? Would you be standing there with like your telewagger out? It was ridiculous. I couldn't even understand why we would do something like that. Well, wait, wait, wait. What if you were commando? Well, he wouldn't have seen, like, you know the trend was for the underwear hanging out? Oh, underwear. So he did it when there was underwear. So chicks... He would see your underwear hanging out, and he would walk over behind you and literally just pull your pants down. L.A.B., chances that that guy was a sex pervert? Zero. Zero percent, you say? Yeah, I don't think he was a sex pervert. I think he... I think he wanted to see dudes in their underwear. Yeah, I think he was humiliating. Yeah, he's like, hey, pull your pants up, clown. I made sure my pants were up every time I walked in. There you go. All right. What if it's snagged? Yeah, well, that's what's crazy. We've had, you know, we've had dudes and we've talked to him about it, but he just says, don't sag your pants. There you go. Don't sag your pants. This is M1 Chris from Chula Vista. Hi, Chris. Hey, how's it going? Good. Well, I was going to this continuation school where you only go to one class for like six hours. And me and my teacher were pretty cool with each other.
One time I was late, and she said I need to make up the time after school, so I did. And we were just talking, you know, and then she started telling me that she's very lonely. And then she said when she goes home, she does stuff to herself. No! Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. How old were you? I was supposed to be in 11th grade. I was about 16. How old was she? She was in her 40s. Let me guess. Was she a white girl? Uh, yeah. It's always. It's the profile. It's the profile. It's like, it's like serial killers are white dudes. Yes. And, and teachers that want young guys are white chicks. Yeah, and they're usually good looking. Was she good looking? Uh, she was getting kind of old, but she was still look, she still look all right. I actually wanted her. You wanted her. You wanted her. Yeah, but when she told me that, I got scared. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Well, because you don't expect that. You don't start a conversation out like that. Oh, my gosh, what a creep. You slowly get into it. Oh, creep, Jay. That's not a lead. That's a follow-up question. You're a creep. For real. So what happened? So I just kind of played it off like I just kept, oh, I told her I don't know what to do. I just kind of just brushed it off. And then when I finished my time.
I gave her a hug, and then she kissed me on the side of my lip. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. That is very provocative. Very lonely. Very lonely woman. So do you regret your decision? Yeah, yeah. I was trying to get a diploma faster, and I sucked. I didn't do it. Oh, wow. That is crazy. All right, dude, thanks for the call. No problem. That is creepy. There was a teacher at our school that dated one of the students. Everybody knew, too, that she was dating a student. She was married. They knew? They knew. They knew. See, you know what though, Jay? Like when I was in middle school, there was like a rumor. There's always a rumor. Real deal. This guy in my class would send her flowers during class. The guy would arrive and she'd look at him. And everybody knew, but no one would really say anything. After school, like it was two years after I graduated, I actually saw them out on a date. He graduated by that point and no one could say anything. She divorced her husband.
Weird. She what? Divorced. M1 Amanda from San Diego. Good morning. Good morning. I'm a teacher now, too, so it's totally, like, freaking me out to look back on this and especially to hear these other stories. Oh, my God. I know. Anyway, in second grade, it was, like, the one year where I was a bad kid because I didn't like the teacher and that had never happened before. Yeah. And I wasn't able to articulate it at the time. But now I see I totally, I was disgusted by her. She was not very professional. And this is the 70s, and she was on this health kick, and she wanted us all to, like, work out more. So she always put me in front of her so she could see that I was doing the exercises in class. And she had us doing all these calisthenics and stuff, and it sounds fine. What kind of class? This was regular second grade class. I was with this woman all day long. Right. And aside from not ever taking her sunglasses off.
she would be wearing a normal dress or whatever, and she'd have us picking our legs up, doing, like, you know, these, like, sort of calisthenic exercises. Right. And she had me in front of her to make sure that I was doing it, but she would never wear shorts under her dresses. Oh. I always saw way more of her than I should have seen. For real? Like, did the kids? This is the 70s, and she didn't shave anything. Oh, boy. Wow. Oh, boy. Serbian. Oh, my gosh. And, of course, I couldn't tell anybody because I felt ashamed that I'd seen that. Right. That's crazy. And she just went, not an ounce of common sense. Hello? So, Amanda, you don't even think she was being a sex pervert. You just think she was, you know, like, out of it. She's clueless. She's an idiot who tortured me every single day by lifting her legs in front of me. Oh, it smells like cats. All right, Jay. Thank you, Amanda. No problem. Thank you. Yeah. So my story was Ann Smith, sixth grade. So we're in class and her husband was a highway or a border patrolman. Yeah. And she goes, she goes, well, you know, a lot of times that'll be a problem with the wetbacks because when they're trying to, I remember thinking and I asked, I raised my hand and I said.
Are we and I said it like very childlike, you know, it was it was my question was phrased very childlike. Like I said something like, are we allowed to say wetbacks? And she goes, well, that's what they're called. And I said, and I didn't even know the word illegal aliens. Like I didn't know that word. I didn't know that term. Yeah. But I knew that wetbacks was derogatory. But I didn't know, like, what the right thing was like. I remember one time asking, like, what's the, what's the, and this is how I phrased it. I said, what's the professional way to say sex? Because I didn't know. While we're on the subject. Well, I didn't know. And so, like, it was one of those deals where I just didn't know. And the teacher answered. She goes, it's called making love. And I said, okay. Was this last week? Then I knew, yeah, this was last week. And so, I went home and I said, hey, mom. Is it okay to say wetbacks? And she goes, no. You know, my mom's, I'm Mexican. My mom's Mexican. She goes, no. She said, where did you hear that? I said, Mrs. Smith said it. Oh, my God. And she said, how did she say it? And I said, well, she said that her husband is a border patrolman. Oh, my God. And that sometimes when he arrests the wetbacks and my mom was like.
Did she call the school? She went to the school. She went to the school. Good for her. Yeah, she went to the school. And here's the deal. It turned out that this woman was just ignorant. She just thought that. Oh. She thought that they were called wetbacks. She had no idea. She didn't know. She wasn't being derogatory. No. She didn't know the word illegal aliens. Well, thank God you asked your mom because you would have then passed the buck. Of course. And started calling them. Hey, mom. Is there a wetback problem that we need to deal with, or do you think that, you know, seriously? Let's see. M10311 from El Cajon. What's going on? Right. He's writing on the board, and some other students had a problem with him and decided among themselves that they were going to do something to him in the parking lot. Very slowly, he tells us to do something interesting in the book, and while we're doing that, he takes out a long blade on his desk in front of us. Oh, wow. What? He had a blade. Inside the cane. Inside the cane. Scarface.
He starts cutting lines with the knife. Say hello to my little friend. I'm telling you, it was old school, but it worked because nobody ever said anything to him after that. Nobody ever tried to mug him again? That's kind of badass. It's kind of badass. Like, it's wrong, I know. Hey, thanks for the call. M1C Mac from Vista. How you doing? So check this out. I'm 40. I grew up in Northern California, up in this little school called Steel Lane Elementary in Santa Rosa, okay? So if you need to look it up, this is straight and real. Okay. I had this teacher. I'm not fighting you. Okay. So, no, it sounds unbelievable. That's why. But I had this teacher, and his skin was bright red all the time. Like his face, I guess it's rosacea or something, but his face was bright red. I know exactly what you're talking about. Super bright. And when the kids would get caught talking,
The teacher would come up to you, and he would clamp on to the back of your neck, and it would, like, shock you, and he would squeeze super tight until kids would cry. He made me cry, like, four times. Oh, my gosh. This is fourth grade, right? And here's the ironic part. Guy's name was Mr. Crab. Mr. Crab. Guy was red. Oh, my gosh. And you can look, I don't know if you can look it up, and he finally got fired for it because I went in there to visit the school, like, a couple summers ago. And I saw my class on the wall, like class of 1970-something. And there's his red face and his big claw. Wow. And his big claw. His big claw. Wow. Thank you for the call. Hey, listen. I mean, back in the day, you talk to people. You hear about, like, nuns. Oh, yeah. Both my parents. They get slapped in the hand? Mm-hmm. With a ruler? Oh, yeah. Oh. When I was in school, there were still swats. Oh, yeah. With a wooden swat. And it had holes in it. Drilled in it, yep. Yeah. I had a paddle like that broken on me. Just splat. The paddle shattered in the air. He hit you so hard it shattered? Yeah. He was just laying into both of us. There was two of us in there, and he was going back and forth. What'd you do? What did I do? Well, the first time I got popped. Well, what didn't you do? It's probably easier. I was thumbing crayons at the teacher in kindergarten. Oh, my gosh. You were thumbing crayons? Thumping. Thumping. Poor teacher. And just flying at her. And I was like, then I'd sit there like.
Like you didn't do it. And then I'd do it again. Oh, my gosh. But that time I was fighting, so we were in a full-on fist fight. I'd fought for a whole period. Yeah. The coach made us fight the whole period. Oh, my gosh. The coach made you fight? Yeah, we were fighting. When you told the principal, didn't you say to the principal, he made us fight? Yeah. He's like, well, you fought to start off with, so now you're going to get your pops as well. And you said, but the teacher made us do it. Well, we were fighting. because we were oh i gotcha and so he said hey you guys want to fight you want to fight we'll fight for the whole class got it and i was just like man you can only fight for so long was he like calling his friends over making bets the entire football team was there oh my god wow yeah you know i think that it's kind of in the nature of boys to mix it up it i i do i do i mean it isn't right i don't and i think that you have to stop it but i think it's also in the nature of boys that's what we You know, that's what we do. Made me sick to my stomach. To fight? To fight. Yeah. I didn't like to fight, but I fought all the time. That's the deal. You know, I think it made every kick, because I fought when I was little, you know, like up until high school. But it was like little boy stuff. That's what you do. I had braces. Yeah. Top and bottom. And his first punch just wielded it on. So after the fight was over, I finally was like. Oh. And they just whoop. Wow. So how did the guy do it? Did he make you bend over?
Oh, yeah. We've been over the desk. And he just was like, and we were side by side. One swat? Bam, one. Bam, two. Bam. Oh, how many would you get? Oh, I think I got five that day. It was brutal. And the last one is like. I never got a swat. I never got a swat because I was so terrified of it that I really minded my P's and Q's. I didn't want to get a swat. Here's what the most trouble I ever got in. I was in high school. I was a sophomore. And a whole bunch of kids flew to Los Angeles to go to Disneyland. And we went to Disneyland and there was some kids drinking. And I remember we were drinking. Some of the kids were able to get somebody to buy a bunch of wine coolers. And so I had some of these wine coolers. A bunch of kids had some of these wine coolers. And Kathy Dexter went home and wrote about it in her diary. And her mom read it. School, blah, blah, blah. So I get called out of class to go into the administration office. And I don't know why I'm getting called out. I have no idea. In fact, I remember walking there and not being worried at all. I was kind of excited. Like, this is kind of exciting. And I got called out of class. I wonder what's going on. And so I got into the guy's office. And I don't remember his name. But I do remember that he had a mustache. He had a Tom Selleck type mustache. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Yeah, real sexy, real hot. Easy. Just kidding. And I remember that he was, it was if he was like from NYPD Blue. And I remember, this is what I remember about it specifically. I remember that he's behind his desk and he put his hands behind his head and he leaned back in his chair. And he didn't say anything for a while. He was just looking at me. And I knew when he did that, that something was wrong. I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was wrong. Because a teacher, administrator does not do that unless they're trying to say to you, you are satanic and I'm about to send you to hell. Okay? And so he said, you want to tell me about the drinking that happened at Disneyland? Instant crying. Instantly, like caved, gave it all. Like I was never the kid that was, I don't know what you're talking. I was like, yes, we did it. We did it. We did it. Me too. And I got in trouble. And my dad and my mom were so mad that they wanted to send me to Tucson. OK, because my brothers were in Tucson. Send me to Tucson so I could like go away. Like this was a heavy thing I had done.
Wine coolers. Do you know what happened? Yes. Do you know what happened in Tucson? My brother Steve is going to the U of A, finds out I'm in town. He's a Sigma Chi, picks me up at my brother's house, takes me to Sigma Chi house where I get to lift weights in one of the coolest weight rooms I've ever seen and drink and party at my first keg party ever in my life. No, now we graduated to kegs. Wine coolers. Great move. Yes. Yeah, great move. Great move. And then I came back, you know, and. It was the beginning of me pretending like, oh, yeah, it was really tough out there. They really gave me the business, my brothers. Please send me back. I had an incident with wine coolers, but I was about 10. Really? At the time. You were drinking wine coolers at 10? Yes, but I didn't know that there was anything wrong with them. My mom doesn't really drink, and she would have in our outside refrigerator in the garage, she had wine coolers. And she'd have one every six months. And they would just be sitting in the Bartles and James would be sitting in there for, if we had a special occasion, you know, she'd have one. Can we, by the way, just say something about that? Isn't that great? Like the mom that every six months, she has a wine bill. That's great. To this day, she'll get like at a wedding, she'll get white Zinfandel and put ice in it, you know, and she'll be like. She'll sip it all, like all four hours. Yes, exactly. One Zinfandel. She'll be like, I gotta be careful.
Yeah, so she had these wine coolers in there, but I just knew they were her special drink, like that we weren't supposed to touch. I didn't know alcohol was a bad thing or anything like that. And my brother is six years older than me, and we were doing yard work when my parents were gone, and he starts drinking wine coolers. He's 16, 17 at the time, you know? And I was like, give me some. And he's like, no, you can't have these. And I was like, you get to have one. And he was like, no, seriously, you can't have these. These are bad for you. I was like, no, they're not. He was 16 or 17, which meant I was like 10. Stop there too. How great is that? Kid logic. You can't have that, man. What do you want to be? Like some kind of juvenile delinquent? He didn't want to say like there was alcohol or anything like that because then I would have really outed him. So he was like, I don't make a deal with you. Because I was like, if you don't give me one, I'm going to tell mom that you had them. Blackmail. So he'd let me have like half of one and I was wasted. I was like 10 years old and wasted. Oh my gosh. I was like, oh my gosh. You think I want to learn my lesson. Your dad never did the bit where he let you drink, like when he would open a beer and when the, you know, whatever the...
Worst taste in the world as a kid. Yeah, it was the worst. I had to get my uncles, like, we'd have a party, and we always had kegs, and I would have to get the foam off the top, you know what I mean? So if it meant I had to take a little sip just so I didn't deliver them, because if I sent them a beer with foam, they'd send me back to the keg to get rid of the foam. So I would take little sips of theirs, but I would be like, blech, and spit it out. That's fantastic. When we get back, when we get back, we're going to play Let's, and it's Let's Tap Dance. Ridiculous. Jay is going to tap dance against L.O.B. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience here. The Mikey Show. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. I'm one degree away from making myself more valuable. American Public University has more than 75 online degrees. I'm one degree away from standing out. American Public University has been nationally recognized by the Sloan Consortium for best practices in online education. And I'm one click away from making it happen. To learn more about an accredited online university,
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Well, Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. Well, you know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I want to let you know an M1 is a Mikey Show listener. If you're an M1, you listen to The Mikey Show exclusively. And when you call, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. So Woodsy's not here today. He's going to be golfing in a charity golf tournament over the weekend, and so he's not here. So today you got me and you got L-O-B and you got Jay and you got Krause. Krause. Who, by the way, we're setting up on a date. We're doing a dating game with him. So if you're a single lady and you're between 21 and 30, you can go to MikeyShow.com and you can tell us about yourself, send us a picture, and we're going to select three girls to come in. He's going to be able to select one and then we'll send you on a date. That's right.
Oh, Chris. Great. Calm down. All right. It's time to play Let's. So let's tap dance. Jay, come on in the studio. Now, how are you going to do this? You're going to do this in your regular? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. He fashioned. He has fashioned himself tap shoes using Coke bottle caps. All right. Okay. Now, you're going to tap dance and you're going to. Yeah. And tap dance against L.O.B. Is that right? That's right. All right. Let's tap dance. Jay first. Wow. Gosh. Wow. He gave it everything he had. He really gave it everything he had. All right. Now, are you going to pass the Coke bottle caps over to L.O.B.? Yes. We're not messing around here. All right. Using duct tape and Coke caps.
Then I have flip-flops. You're going to tap dance and flip-flops. I have a disadvantage. Yes. Yes, you do. There you go. Oh, wow. Wow, L.O.B. Are you ready? Stand up. With her headphones on. Oh, yeah. Take those off. Here we go. Oh, look at that Irish. Look at that Irish jig. Oh, wow. Wow, it's actually a song. Like, you can hear a song. Not bad. Wow, wow, wow. Wow. Very nice. Well done. I will say it's more fun to watch her tap dance. What did he say? It's more fun to watch you tap dance. Oh, yeah. Lots of moving parts. 570-1949. So was I better or? Well, I mean. Works for me. I would say that you're better because you're a girl. Let's see. Okay, so. Hurricane Irene.
Hurricane Irene is a very powerful, powerful hurricane. In fact, they think by the time this thing lands, it is going to be a category two. I said initially that it should be making landfall at about 2 a.m. on Sunday. But now they're moving that time frame back and they're saying that it will actually be much sooner. And so they're really worried about it at all areas. And on the phone right now, we have Nancy Grace reporting from the hurricane, I believe. Nancy, are you there? Hello. Hi, Nancy. This is Nancy Grace. TV's Nancy Grace. We know that. I'm reporting live from the East Coast. Okay. And are you in the hurricane right now? Standing in the eye of the hurricane. No, you're not standing in the eye of the hurricane. If you were standing in the eye of the hurricane, there wouldn't be any noise at all. You're actually on the outskirts of the eye of the hurricane. I'm in the eye of the hurricane. More schooling, you or me? You did. You had more schooling. Okay, then maybe you can trust me on this one. All right, I'll try to trust you on it. What do you see? What's happening? There are winds over 100 miles per hour. Oh, boy. What?
There is a house that just blew by me. TV's Nancy Grace. Let me ask you a question. Yes. Did a house really blow by you, or are you, in fact, using a sound effect of a way to try to get notoriety for yourself? No, I am a first response team. Nancy Grace. Yes. On the scene. Where? I am on a boat. On a boat. You're on a boat. On the Indian Ocean. Okay, because this is the Atlantic Ocean. Atlantic Ocean. The Atlantic Ocean. Well, then why does the caller ID say Atlanta, Georgia, where the CNN offices are located? It probably is because I'm on a voiceover line that is streaming through CNN. You're lying. Yep, you're lying. And I'm currently, oh boy, there's a whale that just went. It was scooped up from sea. Is that right? And just went right by my head. Can I ask you a question, TV's Nancy Grace? Yes. What is a house doing? Well, all of a sudden it stopped. It stopped. The sound stopped for a moment. It stopped. Yeah, and what is a house doing out at sea? I don't know. I believe it was carried, swept away several miles. So you're lying, TV's Nancy Grace. It is unbelievable. TV's Nancy Grace is lying.
And now I am... Can you still hear me? Yes, I can hear you. Okay. This is unbelievable footage. If you can believe it. There's no footage. You're on the radio. There's no footage. Can you hear the audio? Yeah, there's nothing. There's not? I can't hear a thing. Hold on a second. Let me step closer to the storm. How about now? See, now I can hear it because you must be using a sound effect. That is a crazy... Thank you, TV's Nancy Grace. She always has to say TV's Nancy Grace. Maybe it was a houseboat. Could have been. Doesn't make any sense, though. Tell me what you think about this text message that we got that says, Mikey, my boyfriend bought us both rollerblades. Now he looks like a wimp. I'm one Shasta.
You know how I know you're gay? Because you naturally made yourself a pair of jean shorts. Well, you got a couple of rollerblades in it to you. More than likely. Rollerblades? If you're over the age of 65, you can bring back the rollerblades. Or under the age of 10. That's not true. I still have rollerblades. Do you ever use them? I use them when I play roller hockey. Now, I don't know anything about the rollerblade world. Educate me, L-O-B. Are rollerblades lame? I think so. Okay. I mean, girls get a little more leeway. When I used to live in PB, I used to rollerblade around Mission Bay for exercise. Okay. Guys did not. If I saw them, I thought, wimp. And occasionally Richard Simmons would go by wearing rollerblades. Yes, every once in a while. I think maybe I saw Jay with like a hockey stick. Yeah. Oh, I will do it. Jay.
You don't think it's lame for guys to roll around in rollerblades? No. In Houston, we would roll through the streets. We would go down through all the bars. When was the last time you lived in Houston? Well, before I came here. 1980. Yeah, they were cool then. I still have them. What about now? I would do it now. You would? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Easy, Venice Beach. Put my thong on. There is the naked rollerblader on the boardwalk there in PB and Mission Beach. Has anybody ever seen him? I've seen him. Have you seen him with the big elephant ears and he does a trunk down the front? He does a tusk in the front. And he's got a thong in the back. And he usually paints his butt cheeks. He can't get in trouble for that? No. It's a thong. So it's like his butt cheeks. Sometimes there will be, like one time I saw a happy face on his butt. What do you think that guy's up to? The rumor, now I don't know if this is true, the rumor was that he was like a self-made millionaire and was just having fun. He was just out having a good time. And that his wife was painting his butt cheeks for him. I don't know what the truth is to that, but that's what I used to hear. Can you imagine? You're just so rich, you're like, you know what? I'm going to paint my butt cheeks. He always had a giant smile on, whether or not he was crazy or... High on marijuana cigarette. 570-1949.
What's the deal with rollerblades? Rollerblades. If your boyfriend buys you both rollerblades, of course he's going to look like a wimp. Yeah. He's supposed to buy you rollerblades. Maybe you bring those to Europe with you. You guys. What are you going to do? Ride a razor scooter then? I mean, you got to get around. Ride a bike. Walk. Run. How about watch a movie? Stay home and watch a movie? Is that weird? Yeah. Five places to not use your... debit, not credit, your debit card. And why? Don't use your debit card for rental or security deposits because you have to put money down to rent a car or heavy duty home improvement stuff. Don't use the debit card. Why? Because the business, they're actually going to take the money out of your account in the form of a security deposit. So don't do it. You'll get the
The cash back when you take the car, the equipment back or whatever. But with a credit card, the money's just frozen. It's not actually charged. Debit card, they charge it. So don't use it. Don't use a debit card in restaurants and bars. Here's why. And this has actually happened to me. There's too many people that are looking at that card. Whether you're, you know, dining somewhere. They're looking. I was sitting at a bar. uh in dallas and put my card on the table to pay and somebody got the number from that really yeah and the expiration dates on there the only thing they didn't have was the code on the back but they still were able to use it they didn't have the mine has the code right there well uh no the code's on the back though yeah you know what i mean but someone just eyeballed it they eyeballed the number the credit card number they didn't need the credit or the security code um
Another deal with debit cards. They say don't use your debit card for regular payments because businesses love to get their sticky little fingers on the number so they can take dues straight from your bank account on a regular basis. Whether it's a gym or your insurance company, you're much better off using the credit card. Don't use your debit card at Wi-Fi spots. Because at the Wi-Fi spots, most of the time, It's an unsecured Wi-Fi connection. So somebody can hack in and know exactly what you're up to, have your information, and you're in trouble. Any retail outlet where you choose the credit option. Because debit cards, they'll let you choose between debit, having cash taken straight out of your account, and a credit transaction. That's where the money will be taken out.
But it'll take a few days. Yeah, I heard an identity theft expert talking about that. And he says, you know, a lot of times you get the choice. And I'll say to the cashier, whatever is easier for you guys, because I don't care. But you should always choose credit. Because the more places you have to put your PIN number in, the more susceptible you are to having that information stolen. And there's not the kind of credit protection on your debit card that there is on credit cards. Yeah. That's good information to know. Hey, by the way, speaking of the rollerblade dude, the guy you guys were talking about in PB, M1 Justin knows who he is. Justin, you there? Yeah. What do you know? I was in PB at Law and Cast, and yeah, that was his route. I went back and forth to the boardwalk, and I used to play in a Zydeco band. headlining mardi gras that year uh the downtown thing that they do and so i had to stop him and i was like bro i got i gotta get you and like all your crazy friends i had talked to him once before and he's in i guess evidently some group of people who do crazy stuff like that usually not in pb or downtown does not as receptive to it but anyway yeah i just got to talking to him he's like a brilliant dude he was so so smart so i asked about himself and uh he was like
I want to say aeronautical engineer, something gnarly, like crazy profession. And this was just, that was his way to like vent and whatever, do his thing and enjoy life. It was really cool. Wow. Mikey, does talking to Justin make you feel like you're at the McDonald's drive-thru? Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. I feel right at home. Thank you, Justin. And yes, I like the apple pie. There you go. Mikey, show and tell. I love Mikey's show and tell because we tell you about cool stuff that's new that we found that we want you to know about. And if anybody in the studio has one, you're more than welcome to share. But I found something called Vumote. V-O-O-M-O-T-E. And it goes onto your iPhone or your iPod Touch. And you download an app and it turns your phone. into a universal remote control for everything in your house. Oh, that is cool. Yeah, and it's right, it turns, the phone actually acts as a universal remote. It's a cool looking device. And all you have to do is Google it. It's VooMote, V-O-O-M-O-T-E. It's good for iPhone, iPod touch. And yeah, all you have to do is download this app for it and put the device on the phone and boom,
Universal. So you're controlling your cable box, your stereo, all that different stuff right there from your iPhone. So you're saying I could walk into a bar where they're watching a show I don't want to watch and I could all of a sudden have my own remote. You actually could. That's a great idea. I want the Eagles game. And it took Jay. two seconds to figure that out. I never would have thought that. I never would have thought that. He's like, how could I turn this into a criminal activity? Jay, you got one? I do. It's very low tech, but I wanted to tell you about it because I just got turned on to it. It's called sandals. Sandals. You put them on your feet and you can walk outdoors. Jesus wore them, Mike. Yeah, Mike, you're God wore them. It's an INT surfboard for kids. It's like the foam boards that everybody starts off on. But what's different about it is it comes with a fiberglass bottom. So now where the other ones were rubber on bottom, they were real slow in the water and real hard to get your kids to surf on because they were real super heavy. This one's about 4'11", the one that Jasper's surfing on, INT. And it's 4'11", and it's got a hard shell bottom. So now when he paddles, it's just... I can even surf on it. It's got so much float in it. So what was it like before? It's just got a rubber bottom on it. They're real soft foam boards.
They have a rubber bottom on it. And they're heavy. And they're kind of painted. There's like a film or something on there. And the board's still a little heavy, but this one floats so much better, and it just zooms along the water. Glides better. Glides on the surface. It's more drag with the rubber. So when you had the old board, it was just hard to get a kid on it and get them paddling. And it would absorb water, and it's like a sponge. Right. It's kind of like a sponge. This one floats super well, gets them way above the water, and all of a sudden their strokes count where it's been before. You know, I want to ask you this, because... Jay surfs. He's pretty good at it and has been surfing for a long time. And I was going to ask you because one of the things that I remember you teaching Woods and I when we were first even trying to get out in the water was you were teaching us like, hey, man, you got to be careful because it can be dangerous. You can get hurt if you don't know what you're doing. Absolutely. So how old do you think a kid needs to be at the minimum to start to learn? You know, I've seen kids out there at three, you know, probably younger than that. Really? Younger, yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's surf classes. Eli Howard does a great surf camp. In the campgrounds, the Santa Lea Hood campgrounds. And they start them that young? Yeah, they have classes. And I don't know exactly what age they start at, but Jasper's taking a couple years there now. And they turn it around. Where dads sometimes can't teach a kid because, I guess, the frustration level is a little too much. Or the frustration level. Yeah, that too.
But they really know what they're doing. They get them out there and they catch a ton of waves each day. That's cool. Yeah. Ella B? I have one. I have two, but I think I'll just share one for right now. It's called the fat magnet. Mikey? Wow. I didn't have to do it. Slow on the draw. Slow on the draw. And basically what it is, it's this thing that you, if you're going to cook like, it's for people that cook and they want to reduce the amount of fat that they have in their food. Why did you look at me? Why did you look at me, get a giant smile on your face, and not be able to complete the sentence without laughing? Because I thought... What was that? You're a fat. Okay. I didn't say that. I know you did. He likes it. He likes it. All right. But I thought you were going to be like, oh, really? How does it work?
So, okay, you have to put it in the refrigerator. It's called the fat magnet. And you take it to the surface of like soups and gravies and sauces like that. You know, gravy, Mike. Because of the coldness, it'll go. Yeah, Mike does the same thing. Mike sucks that stuff up the same exact way. All the flavor and the spices and stuff, but just take out that extra fat. You don't need. I want tacos and burritos. Great. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. We've got new movies on the way for you. And also, the fine line between stalking a chick and being romantic. It's next. Part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is Hanson, and every Sunday morning at 7 a.m., it's the Brown Bag Blues on FM 94.9.
Two hours at the most down-home, gritty blues you can get on the radio. Muddy to John Lee. Kenny Wayne to the Black Key. The grizzled veterans. The wet-behind-the-ear baby bands. If it's blues, we'll take it out of the bag and we'll play it. Sunday mornings at 7, the Brown Bag Blues on FM 94.9. The GoPhone's great. All right. AT&T has given the world the GoPhone. And here's how it works. You can talk. You can text. You can use the web. And it's only $50 a month. And it's on their nationwide network. And it's a nationwide network that you can trust. It's AT&T. And as I've told you before, the cool thing about the GoPhone is, A, the fact that it's $50 a month. But also, you don't have to do an annual contract. There's no credit check, which is great. It's a good phone. And it's got unlimited talk, text, and the web. So you know from the get-go you're paying 50 bucks, and that's what you get from the deal. Now, you can find out about it in a ton of ways. You can go into one of the stores and get one. You can also call them, 800-GO-PHONE, or you can find them online, att.com slash GOPHONE.
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Never! Because Miller Lite is the light beer brewed for men who demand more taste. So man up! Grab a Triple Hops brewed Miller Lite and enjoy the game. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. At Vons, you can count on low prices. With amazing Vons Club specials and everyday low prices, you can get what you want, when you want it, at the price you need. That's their promise. That's ingredients for life. Vons. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show live in the studio. Hey, Johnny. Don't you slip up or play the thing. That guy kind of had an alright voice. He had a great voice. Still does. He still does? Mm-hmm. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared's website. And just put some new business cards into my wallet this morning that he created. So if you'd like business cards. And listen, here's the thing. I don't think I've ever said this. It isn't. He doesn't do. This just occurred to me. I bet when I say to people that he does business cards, they picture just a.
White business card with your name on it. No, no, no, no, no. The business card that I have, it's graphically designed. It looks like a movie poster. Yeah, it's cool. It's amazing. And so what he does is very different, very special, very unique. High end. Very high end. And the cool thing with working with him is that... And he's just so incredibly quick with getting you the stuff that you want and showing it to you. And you go, can you make that change? Yep. Sends it right back to you. He does very high quality work in a very short period of time. And he understands crazy layman talk. Like you feel like it would be cool if one of these came down on this and then like this. And then you have like a background with like the sparkles and then like the weird gleamy stuff. He's like, OK. He goes, yeah. And he gets it. And he does exactly what you were thinking and more. Because I told him, he's doing something for us. And I said, can you do something that looks urban, like maybe a rooftop? And he did this thing that is just, you look at it and you go, you stare at it. And he immediately gets it. And he always answers his phone. I can't imagine. The guy's like, he's waiting. Like, hello. Even though he has a new baby. He's got a new baby and he's still doing that.
CreateYourDesignOnline.com is Jared's website. There's some new movies that are coming out today. Let's see. Our idiot brother, Paul Rudd. Let's see. Here is a clip. Listen, Ned, you wouldn't happen to know where I can get some, you know what I mean? What? Roll it up. Toke it up. Do it up. Mary Jane? You know, officer. Even if I did, do you really think I'd tell you? You're right. I'm sorry. Bye. It's been a hard week. Yeah? Here you go, officer. Have some rhubarb. Gosh, clips sound terrible when you... Clips of movies, you play them and you go, this does not sound good at all. I mean, maybe it is, but it just sounds so stupid. Only if it's got the summer. Yeah. The, like, ominous lead-in. All right, listen to this.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is about a young girl inadvertently unleashing a race of ancient monsters while exploring her father's 19th century mansion. It's called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Woods would say Don't Be Afraid of the Get. Chances are they run around with very little clothes on. Yeah, I'm sure she gets naked and then when you get naked you die. Really? Always happens. See, I didn't think that. If you're doing it, you're probably right. Sometimes if you're both doing it, they'll stab you while you're doing it. Yes. That's a big go-to movie. That's a teenager movie thing. Like a thrasher film. That's the rule of a horror movie. Okay. Well, that's true. And if you run, you will always fall. Yes. That's a great point. Don't run in a horror movie because you're going to fall down. Why not hide? Don't come out of your hiding spot. Just hide. Agreed. And whatever you do, if you are hiding... don't let the camera go off of being center frame. Yeah. Never do that. Like, if that happens, grab the camera and pull it back to the middle of the frame because then you won't get killed. But if it slides and you're not in center frame, he's going to come out behind you out of focus. And the music gets louder. And the music will get louder. Get out of there. Get out. If you can, get it to zoom on just your mouth going.
And if it's just breathing, you should be okay. Yes, you're probably going to be okay. Probably. Here is some of the trailer. Sally, what do you think? We worked really hard to get it ready. This house is unsafe for a child. This is 50,000 times better than a clip from the movie. But it's also probably 50,000 times better than the movie. That's right. Why is it that a child whispering is the creepiest sound that I've ever heard in my life? Why are people still in the house? You hear a child start whispering. You're like, I'm out. Yeah. There's no children here. Bye. For the record, L.O.B. just jumped four feet. Because of broken glass. Because of broken glass. Bye-bye. See you later. Something terrible happened in that basement. Great. Then I'm leaving. Yep. Hampton Inn. Oh, my gosh. It's always the husband that wants to stay.
I know. He's always... Really, Mr. Brave? We're supposed to start a new life here. Why don't you just tell the truth? You just paid a freaking mortgage on this thing. You just put a down payment and you don't want to move because you're cheap. Did I say hungry? Hungry, yeah. Oh, that's scary. So not only did they scare you, but they... Say what? He said, you know the feeling. Oh, that was... How about this one? Colombiana? is a professional female killer focused on her ultimate goal to hunt down the mobster responsible for her parents' deaths. Not from service. There's 22 murders in the last four years. I'm doing this my way. You know why. Going after us. She's just a girl. Take care of it. I don't know if something or someone hurt you before. Find her! Look everywhere! Hold all these years. Don't like... Okay.
I don't like girls to be lead singers of rock bands because I hate to hear a girl doing Cookie Monster. But I like girls to be singers in rock bands if their voice is feminine and they're being a woman. Evanescence. Perfect example. Amy Lee. She's doing a feminine voice and it's beautiful. Anya Marina. Anya. Perfect. Yes, she is. But here is a... Oh, well. That's all I meant. Isn't it? No. But here's the irony. I do love chicks in action movies. I hate it. You do? The female villain? No, no, no. Not the villain. Good guy. The hero. Whatever. The female badass. Yeah. Wait a minute. L.O.B. just rolled her eyes. You don't like the chick in the tight pants doing karate? You don't think that's badass? Okay. Don't get all mad feminists and females out there.
Nine times out of ten, unless she's properly trained. That's it, though. A guy's going to overpower the girl. No, no, no, no. But check it out. Don't you think it's cool when she's like a CIA chick? Like salt? Did you see that? I want to because... That was okay. I love it when chicks, you don't expect it, and she breaks a guy's neck in two moves. Super duper fly hole. Right. Exactly. Oh, down beside that red firelight. Oh, you're gonna let it all hang. Fat bottom girls, you make the rockin' world go round. Let's hear it in our live studio audience. Don't go away. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from the Mikey Show coming up in a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9.
PlayStation 3, now only $249. $49, games rated E to F. Welcome to the REI Labor Day Sale and Clearance. Yeah, I got a big camping trip coming up. I need... A big Agnes Air Corps sleeping pad. Yes, and a... GSI Hell You Like Cook Set? Exactly, and it'll get warm, so... REI Rendezvous Convertible Pants. Can everyone who works here do that? We know what you need because we know what you love. Save up to 30% on great summer gear and clothing at the REI Labor Day Sale and Clearance, August 26th through September 5th. REI, find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista and Sanitas in San Diego or shop REI.com. Get ready for the left lane because the Drew Volkswagen Autobahn for All event is back. Every new Drew Volkswagen has a Drew value discount price every day and includes scheduled carefree maintenance for three years or 36,000 miles. See Drew BW for details. Peace of mind. That's why the Drew family has been doing business in La Mesa since 1927.
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Available only to qualify customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through August 31, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz at Escondido. Hurry into the REI Labor Day sale and clearance August 26 through September 5. Save up to 30% on great gear and clothing. REI. Find out. Come on, man. Wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Let's hear it in our lives. So we write recaps every day, and we were just talking about this. I read this this morning, and I thought Woods wrote it because she put Woods on here. But L.O.B. can capture Woods so well. She wrote, just taking it to the house real good. You don't worry about me. You guys rise above without the kid. Feast. I thought that was Woods. And then I got to the end of the sentence, and in parentheses it said, written by Lauren. Oh, perfect. And I was like, oh, my God. Because that, I mean, that's Woods. That is Woods. To a T. Touch my body.
That's fantastic. That's fantastic. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. Let's see. Skinny jeans had been banned in Allentown, Pennsylvania. The reason? Because they felt that in terms of dress code, it was too revealing. Suggestive. Revealing what? The calf? The outline. Of the package? Mm-hmm. Why? Skinny jeans are skinny there, too? Wiener time. Oh. See, I wouldn't know because I can't put on a pair of skin... I can put on fat jeans. Fat jeans. If there's such a thing as fat jeans, skinny jeans, I don't know. Yeah. But ultimately, they determined that they can be appropriate depending on... Well, the kids that age... Can't really control, you know, like a feather drops and the boys are like... Yeah, it's dangerous. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, the same thing would happen in a pair of regular jeans. But they might be able to hide it a little bit. Yeah, you just pop your shirt over it. Yeah. You can pop your shirt over it with skinny jeans. Yeah. Can't you do the same thing with skinny jeans? I don't know. It's painful. Not when they're wearing tiny little baby tees with the skinny jeans.
Is there a woman that did not know this, by the way? Is there a woman that did not know that when guys are 12 that they do not have control over that? There are guys that are 48 that do not have control over that. Really, Jay? I mean, there could be somebody. I don't know. Yes, but something prompts you. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. I know something prompts you, but... To not have control over it and it just happens was something that has not happened to me since 12 years old. It never just takes off on its own. No. It's like, hey, fella. No. That does happen with you? It's happened, yeah. Man, you are a libido-filled. Explains that. It sure does. If Woods were here, he would have some disparaging remarks. Yes. Woods would be like, really, pal? Guess he missed out then, didn't he? I've seen it. He has seen it. There's not much going on there, buddy. Like a baby holding a VW. Like a baby holding a VW. I don't want to. L.O.B. just got the grossest look on her face.
You guys doing any gigs this weekend? Anybody doing any appearances? Anything at all? I'll be appearing on the skate ramp. I will be appearing in a Supergirl costume at a birthday party. There you go. At the end of the show, on Friday, I tell you my story. And yesterday, I was pretty open about the fact that I've been through a lot in the last few years and that it's taken a toll on me. I've experienced clinical depression and I'm going to get help for it. And when I say help, go into a doctor and hopefully get some meds that will help me out with it. Now, here's the thing that is important for you to know. If the same events had happened to me, say, 10 years ago, would have destroyed me. There's no doubt about it. It would have destroyed me. What has happened is that I have been devastated by events that have happened in my life over the last couple of years. But I have not been destroyed. I have hope. And the reason that that is significant is because there is a time in my life where I didn't. I didn't have hope about anything. I wasn't hopeful about anything. And I didn't think that there was anything in my future to look forward to. Terrible place to be. It's a terrible place to be. And maybe somebody that's listening right now has been there. I've been addicted to everything you can think of. I've been addicted to pornography. I've been addicted to...
I've been addicted to pills. I've been addicted to cocaine, alcohol, meth. I've been addicted to just about everything you can think of. And many of these things I kept a secret. At one time in my life, I was bulimic. I would make myself throw up because I wanted so badly for people to accept me and like me that I wanted to be thin and I would do anything to get there, including drugs, meth, anything that I could do. That would make me feel like I could fit in with people more. And there may be people that are listening right now, even guys, that that's your story. There may be guys that are listening right now that are like me. You got tattoos. And maybe you got the tattoos because you were like me and you wanted people to think that you were something other than what you really are. Sensitive. Shy. Insecure. Introverted.
Covered myself with tattoos so that people would think that I was somebody different than I actually am, which is all those things I just said. And by the time I was 31 years old, I was completely addicted to alcohol. My dad didn't want to have a relationship with me anymore. And man, I embarrassed myself in front of my family so many times. It's embarrassing to tell you that. But a friend of mine told me one time, the deeper you go in telling people stuff, the deeper you go in affecting people. But this is the message. The message is... In 2003, I gave my life to Jesus Christ, and I asked him to come into my life and change my life, and he did. And he still is. And I am no longer hopeless, depressed, still beat up, emotionally, tired. It's been a long couple of years. I've been devastated, but I have not been destroyed because the power that's inside of me is greater than the power in the world.
One of the coolest churches in America one day.