The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 08/29/11
Monday, August 29, 2011
Lady Gaga at the VMAsHurricane Irenefailed adoptionGround Zero rebuildingdating boundariesNFL triviaCanadian identitylabiaplastyfantasy football ethicsJersey weddingmikey showlady gaga
The Mikey Show moved between disaster coverage and comedy: Mike mocked Lady Gaga's VMA alter ego, replayed a naked man sprinting behind a Weather Channel reporter, and recoiled at hurricane seafoam he believed contained sewage. Woods described meeting his nephew Oliver while grieving his own failed adoption, and Mike passionately recapped the Ground Zero rebuilding documentary and ironworker Mike O'Reilly. Lauren, Mike, Woods and Jay argued whether repeated notes on a woman's car were romantic or creepy, whether porn-driven labiaplasty was empowering or corrosive, and whether absent Adam deserved a rescued fantasy draft pick. In the lighter games and riffs, Lauren crushed the NFL quiz while Jay invented Lionville, Jay struggled to explain batteries, and the cast caricatured both Canadian self-sufficiency and a hurricane-day Jersey wedding.
What happened, in order
Gaga's baffling alter ego
Mike and the crew mocked Lady Gaga's VMA appearance as male alter ego Jo Calderone, arguing that her shock tactics distracted from her real musical talent.
Naked in the hurricane
A naked man ran behind a Weather Channel reporter during Hurricane Irene, prompting the hosts to imagine him proudly replaying his brief television glory.
Meeting baby Oliver
Woods described the joy and pain of meeting his nephew Oliver while he and Jamie were still grieving an adoption that collapsed at the last minute.
The seafoam horror
Reporter Tucker Barnes stood in hurricane-driven ocean foam as Mike argued that the foul organic mixture likely included sewage runoff.
Rebuilding Ground Zero
Mike passionately recapped Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero, especially ironworker Mike O'Reilly following his injured father's trade to help build the new tower.
Romantic or creepy
Mike, Woods, Lauren and Jay debated whether a new boyfriend repeatedly leaving notes on Cassandra's car and visiting her workplace was affectionate or stalker-like.
Welcome to Lionville
Lauren dominated the NFL quiz while Jay missed basic questions and memorably guessed that the Detroit Lions play in the state of 'Lionville.'
Canada does not need us
Mike and Rebecca's irritation that Rush was Canadian became a comic rant about Canada's talent, cleanliness and apparent lack of envy toward the United States.
Uncle Jay explains batteries
In I'm Glad You Asked, Jay tried to explain batteries as power-soaking sponges before the others gleefully exposed the holes in his answer.
Hurricane wedding vows
The hosts reenacted and exaggerated Josh and Melissa's awkward hurricane-day Jersey wedding after their vows described the relationship as a constant challenge.
The labiaplasty argument
Mike objected to young women seeking labiaplasty to resemble porn performers, while Lauren and Jay defended cosmetic choice when it improves how someone feels.
Fantasy draft court
Woods argued that absent vacationer Adam should bear the consequences of a failed autodraft, while Mike defended the commissioner's decision to rescue Adam's pick.
People mentioned
MikeWoodsLauren O'BrienJayLady GagaJo CalderoneJamieOliverTucker BarnesMike O'ReillyRebeccaCassandraJoshMelissa
36,800 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Good morning. We are ready to go, and I will say that it's a very warm morning in our studio because our air conditioning is out. Now, it's only out in the studio portion in the outside of our suite. The air conditioner is working, so we have our studio door open with a fan trying to blow that cool air in here. Not a fan like an M1, like a real... No, like a real... Like a box fan. Yeah. Right. Exactly. No, it's not oscillating. But anyway, so that's what we got going on. Good morning to you and welcome back, Woodsy. Thank you very much. So good to be back. Woodsy was in Texas over the weekend and got to go see his new little nephew, Oliver. And we'll ask you all about that. Played in a charity golf tournament. Yes.
Real quick, I'm Mike. I'm the host of the show, although we call the show the Mikey Show. My name is actually Mike. Woods is our sports guy, 36 years old, L.O.B., no longer needs glasses, no red in her eyes anymore. Real nice. She's got the laser eye surgery, and she looks great, and she can see. I can see, yeah. No blurriness, no haloing. No, just a tiny bit at night, but it keeps getting better and better. Sweet. Let's see. Jay is our producer. He's 48. And our sweet little phone screener is Chris. That's Rob. And we're setting people up on a date with him. Oh, boy. Yeah, so we're going to do the dating game. And so if you are a young woman between 21 and 30, that's the age range that he's indicated. 21 and 30. And you would like to go on a date with Chris, who's 6'1". Tall, dark, and handsome. Very. And you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Now, why would Jay play that? I don't understand it, really. He likes girls. Yeah, he likes girls. It's a dating game with women. Dating game looking for women. Right. Not dudes. Not at all. 570-1949 is our number if you want to call us. And word of the day is ambassador. If you hear that word, call her nine.
$50 to Crossroads, which is a great restaurant, House of Blues, and a pair of tickets to see Foo Fighters October 17th at Viejo. That is huge. So, I mean, right there, you can see that listening today is going to be crucial because we got tickets to see the Foo Fighters. So here's what we're going to be talking about here. We're going to be talking about Hurricane Irene, the Chargers. The VMA Awards last night and the big news of the VMA Awards, Lady Gaga and her performance, which had a lot of people very confused. You know, I believe Lady Gaga may be losing it. She's trying really hard. She's really trying hard to shock us and make us pay attention. And she did a good job last night. Confused some people, though. So Hurricane Irene, it's going to hit midnight Eastern time on Sunday morning, 9 p.m. hour time Saturday night. It's going to be a category one. Now, how bad is it going to be? Nobody knows. We're all waiting to see how bad this thing is going to be. But here was President Obama. First.
Let me say that this is a storm that has claimed lives. Our thoughts and prayers are with those who've lost loved ones and those whose lives have been affected by the storm. You need to know that America will be with you in your hour of need. I do want to underscore that the impacts of this storm will be felt for some time. And the recovery effort will last for weeks or longer. Well, here's the bottom line. A lot of water, you know, some flooding in some areas, some trees down. Not that big of a whoop, if you ask me. Lauren, how was it where your family is in New Jersey? They lost their power. They lost their phone lines. They had a tornado go through their town. Tornado? They had flooding, so now they're going to have to have someone come out and assess the damage from... Yeah, there's like some water damage in the house. Wow. They spent...
hours picking up stuff yesterday and then um they slept in the basement oh my gosh so i think it was a little bit more of a to-do you know than it than it actually ended up being you know they they prepared for the worst expected you know hope for the best so the power being out's the tough part oh yeah what a beating people were august you know i had the east coast feed so i was watching all the new york stations and everything and they were doing these live shots of grocery stores With these, every parking space taken, lines and lines going out of the parking lot of people going in at the last minute to get their things. And a lot of people were trying to get ice for coolers because they knew the power would go out. But they thought that the best time to do that would be Saturday morning. Right. Right before it all hit. My parents also filled up their tubs with water because they were told that the water lines could go out and they wouldn't have anything to flush with. Oh, wow. So they had to fill up their bathtubs. Oh, my gosh. Smart. Yeah, it's a smart thing to do. But it turned out to be not that big of a deal. It is so hot in here. Yeah, it's toasty. It's not bad out here. Yeah, it's real nice where you are in the other room. 66 degrees. 87 in here. Weird. Woodsy. Yes, sir.
How about the Chargers? What happened? How about those guys, man? I got to tell you, Billy Volek, he gets my vote for the best backup quarterback in the NFL. He led the Chargers on Saturday night against the Arizona Cardinals. Led them to a 12-play scoring drive with three minutes left for the win, man. So they won another game. And our boy, our favorite guy in the world, Phillip Rivers, 18-28 for 198 yards. Two touchdowns, one pick. VJ, Malcolm Floyd, just... Great. So, man, they are, he is firing on all cylinders. Yeah. He looks, you know, mid-season for him right now. So, just to update you, they've got one more game. It's Thursday, this Thursday, September 1st, San Francisco. It's a home game. And then, my brother, September 11th, Minnesota 115 on Fox. Wow. I can't wait. It's going to be good. Can't wait. Home opener. So, last night was the Video Music Awards. I haven't watched Video Music Awards on MTV for, 15 years at least. Did anybody on the Mikey show watch it? I watched just one clip of Lady Gaga's performance. Saw nothing. You saw nothing. How about you, Jay? Nothing. This is Lady Gaga opening the show dressed as a man. So let me describe Joe Calderon. Joe Calderon looked like an, I don't know, maybe somebody from Greece? Yeah.
A Grecian. Or West Side Story. No, no, no. Not from the country of Greece. Oh, you mean the movie. Yeah, the movie Greece. Like rocking and rolling. Yeah. Danny Zuko. Yeah, like a thunder T-bird. T-bird. Sound good. And then the guys. Kill me. Just shoot me, dude. I'm one of the guys. We get crazy. What, she was smoking a cigarette? Yeah. Was it stupid? It reminded me of like a NYU student that was a girl that was like, I'm going to try out for theater and I'm going to do a monologue. That's great. But it's going to be a guy's. But you know what? I'm going to make you believe that it's a woman. This is my range. Yeah. L.O.B. Describe to me the people in the audience. So first they show like a shot of.
Katy Perry and Russell Brand. And Katy Perry looked so cute. She had, like, some pink wig on or something like that. And she was trying to be sweet about, like, oh, my gosh. And so she had this, like, smile on, like, ha-ha, what's she doing? Oh, crazy gaga. And then they show Russell, and he is just slumped in his chair, just hand on his face, just, like... Studying it. Just staring at her, like, what is... Like, am I... Do I have to sit through this? Like, slightly squinted eyes? Yeah, just squinting at her, but face expressionless. Just, like... Emotionless, expressionless. Just so confused. Right. Then they showed a picture of Britney Spears or a shot of Britney Spears. And she was genuinely like she didn't know the camera was on her. They showed her for about three or four seconds. Just. Just staring with her mouth gaping open, just going, what is... Like genuinely confused and wondering, what are you doing? Not trying to be like, I don't know. She just was really like, is she going to rip off her clothes and be hot underneath? Or is this a thing that she does? I don't know. I'm not a Gaga fan. I don't know. I did. I got crazy. But she's crazy too, right?
L.O.B. is pantomiming what she was doing. And she was doing like street thug New Yorker, you know, from the 50s, you know, in West Side Story. The face that she just did reminded me of Silvio from The Sopranos. Right. Yeah. Silvio from The Sopranos. Hey. She gets out of the bed, puts on the heels. She goes into the bathroom. I hear the water go on. She comes out. In the bathroom dripping wet, she's still got the heels on. It's not even... It's not funny. It's not captivating. It makes my heart hurt. I'm nervous. I'm really nervous. I'm nervous. This is maybe the stage of her career where she's got to the point where no one is able to go, bad idea. She's so big, man. She's so huge. Everything that she says, people are like, oh, great idea, great idea. Meanwhile, it's just...
Awful. It's horrible. Apparently, this is an alter ego she's been building up for a little while now. She's already done some photo shoots. That worked well for Garth Brooks and Chris. That bit he did. Chris Gaines. That worked really well. Jay-Z and Kanye performed. Britney Spears got Best Pop Video. Lady Gaga performed a song called You and I. Katy Perry and Kanye West. accepted an award for best collaboration. Adele performed. Justin Bieber got best male video. You said male video? Male video, he said. I said male. Male. Mel is like Mel's diner. Who's Tyler, the creator? Does anyone know? Gosh darn it, I am an old dude, man. Is that an artist? I don't know. I don't know if Tyler's the artist. Creator. Right now, I feel like a talk show host that has to talk about something that I just could care less about. But I have to. I feel like it's news. Yeah, it's the Video Music Awards. First of all, they don't show videos and they don't play music on MTV anymore. They just call it the A's from now on. Just the awards. Oh, boy. It's ridiculous.
Gosh, darn it. Was there any good performances? Did anybody just rock the house? Was there any rock music there? Not that I saw. Brian May, is that the guy's name? Yeah, from Queen? He did come join Lady Gaga in her song, and he was kind of rocking. They showed a shot of Dave Grohl stand up and clap when he came out. Poor Dave Grohl, man. He has to be there. He probably would rather be anywhere else. Yeah. But the MTV... But I didn't see anything. I just watched, because the headline said that Lady Gaga fell during a performance, so I watched eight minutes, including her diatribe in the beginning. Was it any good when she fell? They didn't show enough of it, but she was trying to go nuts and shake, almost like she was in a Baptist church, and then she slipped. Oh, boy. She shot, like, beer all over everybody. Oh, I'm over it. I know. I'm so over it. She slipped on her own beer. Listen, if she sat behind a piano and played, I would listen. She did. I mean, but, like, if that's all she did. If she was, like, uh... Why does she... She's so talented. She's so talented. Why does she have to eat pube sandwiches to get everybody's attention? I know. Like, gosh darn, just sing, dum-dum. Yeah, stop making merkins for your face, okay? Yes, I get it. I get it. You're weird. You're weird. Oh, my gosh.
I can't pay enough attention to you. I don't have that much attention to pay. I can't. I can't keep up with you. I have bills to pay. I can't keep up with you. I got to go to work. You're clearly not in the demo. God, no, I'm not. Even people that are in the demo are over it. I think so. Barracuda. Everybody says, huh? What? Yelled shark. Panic on our hands on the 4th of July. Not in San Diego, pal. Yeah. Not in San Diego. San Diego, we don't care. You're going to scare us with that stuff. They saw a great white shark, Woodsy. You weren't here on Friday, but we were talking about it on Friday. Lifeguards spotted what they thought was a 10 to 11 footer. Great white shark. Swimming off the coast there in Mahoya by Mission Beach. See, here's the thing. They're there. We just happened to see it. Nope. They were in the water swimming, having a great time. They didn't see that shark for 24 hours. Go on in.
It's just a shark. He's not going to hurt you. He ain't going to hurt you. He just wants to eat seals. He don't want you. He wants to eat other food. You ain't any good. You don't taste good to him. You don't bug him. You don't bug you. What's a big whoop? People were out there again just doing it up. I myself would not go in there because I would feel like I would be the unlucky one that would get decapitated. I was going to go surf today, but I am not. Oh, come on. Well, if somebody goes with me, I'll go, but I'm not going by myself. Well, they're there, and, you know, what are you going to do? 570-1949-M1-CAM from Oceanside. Good morning, Mikey Show. How you doing? I'm good. Woodsy, welcome back. Thanks very much. Good to be back. Yeah, you're back, and you're good at football's back. But as an M1 nation, I think we feel a little cheated about the Padres incident. So maybe if... Chargers win six in a row. The kid shaved a lightning bolt into his head. Zero percent. Zero percent. Zero percent. I've already been told not to bet on our beloved Chargers, and I will never bet against our Padres again. It was a mistake, and it's one that I'll admit freely, and it's made me sick, and I have an ulcer from it all season long. I haven't been able to enjoy a Padres victory all season long. It was the dumbest bet I ever made. I'll do something for you.
No, I can't do it. I can't make any bets. I can't do it. Not against the Chargers. I like them. Don't do it. Don't do it. You won't have any fun. No, it's not fun. Hey, thanks, Cam. We love you. M1 Anonymous from San Diego. Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. And good morning. Hey, I wanted to talk about Cho Poo, that surf contest chair was talking about. Yeah, the Poopoo thing happened on Tahiti. It was a big surf thing because there was high waves in Tahiti. Oh, my God. It was insane. There were just freight trains moving, and the towing was what I was talking about. How do you know? Did you watch it on TV? Ha, ha, ha. I watched it on the Internet. Oh, on billabong.com. Billabong. That's right. I told my dad that story. My dad goes, what the hell's billabong? Because we don't live in Texas. We live in California, where the surfers are far and wide. I wonder how many people actually watched it here in San Diego County. Oh, you know a lot. Yeah, I bet four. At least four. It was incredible. Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. Oh, wow. Jay, Jay, Jay. Jay Osborne. Jay filled in for Woodsy on Friday. It's outstanding. He had one story, and it was these high waves and TV. It was awesome. Bro, that's like me coming in and going, Mikey goes, all right, Woodsy, what are we talking about? I'm like, Yankees. Yankees won last night. I get killed. Dave, thank you very much, Anonymous. Yes. And we are glad that you enjoyed.
Billabong.com's live coverage of the Shoo Shoo Studio down there in Tahiti. There you go, bro. That poo is awesome. Awesome. Thank you. Did you watch it, Jay? I caught pieces of it. No, he didn't watch a lick. You're such a liar. He didn't watch a lick. I was too busy surfing to watch surfing. He didn't watch a lick. I did, honestly. I surfed three times this weekend. Nobody asked. No, I know. I just want everyone to know. Just throw it out there. I just want people to know. Well, listen, you can just, Mikey, read my recap. No problem, Jay. Great end of summer, exclamation point. Early Saturday morning, hit reef break on the stand-up board. It was at least shoulder high, perfect with no wind and sun shining down on us. Went to slip and slide party with a 100-foot slide. Must have hit it 100 times. Party thrown by a couple of friends of ours. And man, I'll tell you what, they know how to do it right. They had a ping-pong tournament. Yes, I got first place. No big deal. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Just a trophy ribbon and $10 to VG's Donuts. Then Sunday, I was out again, stand-up board, head-high session, then on to the skate ramp. It's the best. Holy smokes. That's our boy, Jake. It's a self-glosser, dude. It's a self-gloss. Jason started back to school, so summer is officially over. Holy crap. Now I've got to go back to just being a regular dad instead of a super dad. How about you, crap dad? Does it change anything for you, crap dad? Hey, Crapdad, one of your kids is off to school. Makes it easier on you, don't it, Crapdad? Can I just ask a question? Yes, I'll be. So you were at a kid's birthday party. It was a party. It wasn't a kid's birthday party. It was a party for kids. Okay, and you won the ping pong tournament? It was an adult. Kids don't play ping pong to this level. Not eight-year-olds. I was going to say you might want to let... The kids win. No, no. I played against grown-ass men. I will tell you, Jay is like an Asian when it comes to playing ping pong. The guy's pretty freaking good. Yeah, he's like a Korean. He could play like Olympic ping pong. He's good, dude. He's one of those guys that's like... Forrest Gump. More ways than one. That's right. 570-194-9 is our number if you want to get a hold of us. There was a person broadcasting for the Weather Channel.
reporting on Hurricane Irene when somebody ran naked behind them. And we got the audio of that. And we'll play that in just a little bit. Also, your phone calls. You can give us a call if you want. And talk to us about anything that you want. Don't forget, we got Foo Fighter tickets that we're giving away today. To Caller 9. If you're Caller 9, today you're going to win Foo Fighter tickets by... Listening for the word of the day, which is ambassador. So I'm going to say that word sometime between now and 10. Got to be listening closely because I could do it during commercials. And I'm just that type of guy. I could actually do that. And you never know when I'm going to. So be listening for it. All kinds of things to talk to you about. Hey, the submissions from girls that want to be on the dating game with Chris. They're pretty girls. Oh, yeah. And they're between 21 and 30. And if you want to be one of those girls and go out with a really nice guy, it was funny. Woods was saying how pretty the girls were this morning. And I was saying, well, I had read a lot about them. And Woods goes, I haven't read one word about them. Not one single word. I went straight to the JPEG. And didn't read anything about them at all. Nothing.
That's fantastic. I will. You will. You will. I will, but I want to see if I can eliminate some right off the bat. Any boob shots? There's no boob shots, but there's some pretty girls. Now listen, to be fair to me, my wife was helping me judge these women. So she was looking at everyone. Yeah. So I'm not a sex pervert creep. Yeah. Well. Just so you know. Just definitely. So we'll play you the audio of the guy running naked. Behind the Weather Channel person. We're going to play Name That Tune. We got so much fun stuff to do, man. So coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. So be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Biggen. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. We string up the old man. 27 Gibson for the 4 o'clock blues break from vintage Robert Johnson or Muddy Waters or the White Stripes and everything in between. The 4 o'clock blues break from 94.9. Steve? Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever.
Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet, I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 ES350 for $3.99 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 ES350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid in Lexus Western areas only and end September 6th, 2011. Hi, this is LOB for Ovation Cell Therapy. A couple weeks ago, you may have heard me talk about the new advanced formula. I didn't really know what was new about it. I just knew the bottle said advanced formula and that... It seemed that my hair was better than it was, but I really didn't know why. So I took to the internet and I went to the ovationhair.com website and I started to read about what was different about it. They've removed all sulfates and parabens. Not only is that just good for everybody, but particularly for anyone that's had any sort of color treatment or something like a Brazilian blowout. And I don't know if you remember I said that my hair was softer from the cream rinse. I really didn't know what they did. I just knew that it was...
like silky smooth. They've added five new moisturizers that are going to smooth and fortify your hair. It's 100% guaranteed. So if you give it a try, it's risk-free. They're going to give you 100% money-back guarantee. So go to OvationHair.com, enter FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout. Good morning. Welcome to McDonald's. First good thing I've heard all day. But it's only 7.30 a.m. I know, and I already waxed. my head, broke my phone, and got a parking ticket, so I'm going to need to order quite a few things. That should make you feel better, sir. How about an order of sausage? Oh, and an order of bacon, scrambled eggs, three hotcakes, well, hash browns for sure. Um, sir? Oh, I'm not done. But all of that is on the deluxe breakfast platter, and it's now just $3.99. Seriously? Set your mornings right with McDonald's deluxe breakfast platter. Three golden hotcakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, sausage, an English muffin, and more. All for just $3.99. The simple joy of every flavor of breakfast. Sorry you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Technically, I fell out of bed in the window.
Breakfast served during breakfast hours only. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's fruit and maple oatmeal made with whole grain rolled oats, tangy cranberries, plump raisins, and fresh apples. All blended with brown sugar and a touch of cream. Available all day long in McDonald's. Many locations now open 24 hours. New Toyota vehicles are arriving daily. And so are the great deals during Toyota's Labor Day sales event. Now save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry. America's best-selling car. Zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Hurry, Toyota's Labor Day sales event ends soon. Save thousands with 0% financing on seven popular models. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 9-6-11. This is the sound of Jim's Chase Mortgage. This is the sound of Sean's Chase Mortgage. And this is the sound of Nancy's Chase Mortgage. That's because Chase checking customers can earn cash back on their mortgage. That's money to spend on whatever you want. A new lawnmower.
A new grill for the backyard. Even some new golf clubs. Or maybe just lessons. Simply get a new Chase mortgage or refinance your loan and sign up for automatic payments to start getting cash back. Up to $500 annually for the life of the program, which could add up to thousands over time. Stop into a branch today or go to chase.com slash mortgage cash back to learn more about our great rates and to find out how your mortgage can start paying you back. Mortgage cash back only from Chase. Chase, what matters. All home lending products are subject to credit and property approval. A Chase personal checking account required with automatic mortgage payments. This program is not available in all states. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Life's better with baseball. Look, it's a fact that a really impressive pitcher needs to understand the engineering and aerodynamic principles at work while a baseball is in flight. I mean, trajectory, rotational forces, the dynamics of turbulent airflow. It's crazy. So that's when you turn to Scanalysis for laser-sharp insight and postgame analysis. Bob Scanlon, only on the Saquon Casino Postgame Show. The Padres are on the road, live from Los Angeles, 645 Monday. From the remotest corners of East County.
to the splendor of the silver strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4, San Diego. Not Audi, not Lexus. Not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America. Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding. So see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infiniti G25 Journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment. But get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details.
It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line. The bottom line sales event is going on now. Tremendous selection, great offers, and bottom line savings. Visit ChooseNissan.com or a San Diego Nissan dealer today. This report brought to you by Allstate. Back to school means more hectic schedules. So before you head out on the busy roads, put your family in good hands. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Find an agent near you at Allstate.com. Looks like the 5 northbound before Loma Santa Fe Drive. Careful, that left lane is blocked by a tire. Also in Escondido on the 15 southbound after Felicita Road, we have an accident. It's blocking that left lane. You can expect delays as you approach. And Griffith Road on the 67 in Lakeside, there's a fallen tree. You want to be careful as you get through there. The middle lanes are blocked. This report brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is backed by a 99.99% jam-free guarantee. Don't you wish. traffic was hammer mill no worries i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 tickets please with mikey i'm a pretty honest guy and i've been a pretty honest guy for many years woods i'll never forget it as long as i live it was uh some village in africa she had like 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out lauren you know what i think the scariest thing is about clowns they don't say anything even though they can talk and jay just a man trying to do the right thing
Yes, it's going to sound exactly like Robert Plant. However, it is not Robert Plant. Yes, it sounds like Led Zeppelin. Robert Plant. That is a live Great White album called Great Zeppelin. It's unbelievable. It's so good. It's so fun. I like when people have a unique ability. It's an L.O.B. You know, L.O.B. can imitate voices and you hear somebody singing like that. Rebecca, my wife, said, hey, have you ever heard these people? Like there's a comedian that we want to have in the studio, a girl that was on America's Got Talent. Melissa Villasenor. She's so funny and she does all these voices and everything.
Well, one of the voices that she does that's really funny is Christina Aguilera. And my wife goes, well, if she can imitate it, does that mean that she can? I said, I don't know that you can sustain it. Yeah. You know, a lot of times what we could do when we do a voice, we can do it for just a minute or we could say a particular thing, you know, like a particular phrase. But if we get outside of that, it's harder to do. Well, by that logic, then you would be able to sing the crap out of Crazy Train. Yeah. Because you can do Ozzy pretty good. But I bet if you had to sing Crazy Train, you couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. And not only that, but there are some things that I can sing like it, but I can't sustain it. Right. I can do a couple of lines, but I can't sustain it. Here's the deal. Hurricane Irene comes in over the weekend, and there are, of course, obviously reporters reporting live everywhere. And this person is reporting for the Weather Channel when a dude gets naked and runs behind him on the camera. We're in a lull. Now we've got another rain band coming ashore. Norfolk has been repeatedly gusting over 50 miles per hour. That will increase as the afternoon goes on. One thing that has not decreased that we'd like to see is the traffic.
No shortage of incredibly, well, I'll bite my tongue, people who have been coming out. We're talking about dozens of people who have walked by me. And to be honest, I'm pretty much speechless at what we've been seeing in terms of how many people have been driving around. People like what you see behind me, which I apologize for. I don't even want to show it. At this point, I don't even want to show you anymore how many people are out and about, how many cars are driving around. It's just setting a bad example. And honestly, this is depressing to watch at the moment. This is depressing. So depressing. This is a naked guy. Well, yeah, now. I guarantee you that. Boy, that guy, he's in Norfolk. He was living for that hurricane. That was his crowning. He looked at himself in the mirror, splashed some water on his face, and goes, all right, pal, let's do this. Everybody gets one shot. This is yours. I'm going to go get it. You think he's in the bar later, and they're running back on DVR. There it is. There you are. There you are, Joe.
I'll tell you what would be the biggest tragedy of that man's life. He gets home. All right. Here we go. Oh, this is going to be great. Let's see. There it is. Let's take this. Let's see. Son of a bitch. Nancy, what happened? What did you do? Didn't tape. She was recording two other shows. What's your problem? No! Real Housewives. Gilbert Girls. New Jersey. No! His moment's lost. That's it. Forever. It's gone. Wait till I tell you about the Seafoam story. Disgusting. And I watched it live. I was talking about it that night with some friends because I saw it happen live because I was watching East Coast feeds and it's making...
World news today. It's about seafoam, but it's also going to make you vomit because it's so disgusting. And I've put the video. I put the video on our Facebook page. So you can go to Facebook dot com slash Mikey show. And if you scroll down, you'll see the video there. But it's absolutely hideous. You hear about this principal, by the way, from Point Loma that was spending some school money. Her name is Jill Green. She resigned. as the principal of the school in Point Loma, Explorer Elementary Charter School. And they were going through some of her expenses, $37,000 worth of expenses. And they were going, what did she spend it on? Well, some of it was spent on food, average meal, about $78, which means Jay was there and ordering appetizers for Jasper. Stuff to go. Right. Extra entrees. But $727 was spent on wine accompanying dinner. $500 outings to a store called Wine Steels. Literally, Wine Steels. Point Loma. $198 for 12 bottles of wine plus one glass. Oh, my God, dude. $450 was spent on treats and toys for her dog, Gus. Oh, Gus. Really? Who frequented the school.
Yes. Happy birthday, Jill. Who's approving this stuff? I don't know. She was. She was the principal. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you have to go through somebody, right? I think a lot of times with expenses, you know, if you put it in there, people just assume it's legit. Yeah. Because you wouldn't put it in there if it wasn't legit. Meanwhile, it's to cheetahs. That one time, Mikey. And people just looked past it. Yeah, it was show research in our defense. Exactly. It was show research. Free burgers that day. Right. It was my idea, so just lay off of it. Sorry. Well, you were working, so. 570-1949, let's play Name That Tune. All right. Now, do we use it? Yes. Yes. Chew them up. All right. Call us right now. You're going to pick either me, Woods, or L.O.B. for Name That Tune. What is the... You've got to turn it on yourself. What is the theme, Jay? It's costumed bands. Costumed bands. Mm-hmm. All right. Oh, there we go. And what is the prize that people can win for calling in right now? Today's prize for Name That Tune is a pair of passes to see Conan the Barbarian in 3D at any San Diego area Ultra Star Cinema. I would see it. I want to. I know Woods doesn't because he's not into that kind of thing. I want to see it. I'm sorry. Have fun. It looks visually spectacular.
Hey, I'm green. I'm green. Is everybody green? Wait, no. I'm not green. I'm red. I'm red. Hold on. Let me do it again. No, I'm yellow. We should be yellow. Yeah, we have buzzers that have colors, but we're going to yell our name out for the sake of those that are listening on the radio. We'll try to remember. Let's do a test run real quick just to make sure we're off. Just give me a hit, somebody. All right. There's Woods. No, it's Mikey. Oh, Mikey. Okay, good. I can't see. All right. Pat Sajak in there. All right. Let's first see who people want to pick. M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Who would you like? I would like Woods. You got him. You can have me. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? LLB, please. Yeah. You got it. See you in the light. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Who do you want? Mikey. You got it. All right. So the theme is costumed. Bands, right? Yes. What do we need to give you? Title or artist for the win? Either or. Either or. Let's go. Here we go. Mikey. Woods. Mike Woods. That's Kiss. Do you know your name there? Yeah. It's Woods. Kiss. That's right, Woodsy. This should be right up my alley with these bands. Here we go. Here we go. Lauren. Lauren. Elton John. Yes, it was. Nicely played. All right. Here we go.
Oh, I'm still green. I'm still green. I'm still green. Here we go. Here we go. There's a costume to band. I like it. Whatever it is, I'm in. Psycholistics out. Want a hint? No. No? You like to hear the words. They're punks. No words. Oh. Woods. Woods. Daft Punk. There you go. Oh. That is BS. How come? You got it as well. You got it too. You didn't just give it to me. Give it to me. We went for what? Yeah. Oh, that's good, Jay. Let's do it. Really good. That's one of their best. Here we go. This is a little tough here. Lauren. Lauren. Cypressill. Yeah. Darn it. Mikey. Wait, I'm still green. Oh, I didn't reset. Mikey. Go ahead. I believe it's the Cottonmouth Kings. Yeah. Oh, gosh.
Stay quiet. Why don't I just stay quiet? I'll stay quiet. We get a point reduced if we get it wrong. Woods. Go ahead, Woods. Insane Clown Posse. Man! I have zero. Mike has negative one. Woods has three. Let's do this. Here we go. Woods. Marilyn Manson. Yeah, you know that. Man. It's just a second longer I'd have got that. Here we go. Mikey. Weird. Mikey, go ahead. The village people. How dare you? Shout it out. Shout it out proud. Just because I know. Favorite band in the world. Stop waving your hands, Mike. Stop it. It's over. We get it, Mike. We know it. You can take off the Indian costume. Take off your headdress. Take off that bushy mustache. You can't. Here we go. Why do people keep hitting the button? Here we go.
Go ahead. Mudvayne? Yeah. Dang it. Woods. I haven't reset it yet. You can say. He's already said his name. Go ahead. Woods. Slipknot. That's what I actually. It's not what you said. I know. I know. It's my fault. Here we go. Oh, wait. It's red. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Who keeps doing that? Lauren? No. Here we go. Mikey. Mikey? H.R. Puff and Stuff. What? Yeah. Oh, the banana. Banana Troop. Banana Troop. The Banana Troop. Yeah. Nice. We'll stay quiet again. The Banana Troop? I don't know.
Can I have a guess? I'm not going to. I can't say. You can't guess. I can just tell you. It's a banana split. It even said the banana split show. Dang it. I thought it was a banana split. All right. How many more? We have four more. The score is negative one. Me, Mikey, negative two. Woods, five. Okay. These are each going to be three pointers. Of course they are. Oh, sorry. Reset. These are sensitive. I'm going to pillage you. Don't touch it. Woods. Woods, that is... I can't get no satisfaction. Satisfaction. Cool. That's close. Was that Bowie? I think it was Devo. Devo, yeah. Title or artist. Title or artist. Title or artist. Title or artist. Never complain. Here we go. Reset, reset. Woods. Woods. That's... School's out. Alice Cooper. He won. There's two more, though. There we go. Dang it. Woods, you did great.
Lost the person that was holding for you, so we have a backup, and that is M1 Sunshine from San Marcos. Congratulations, Sunshine. Are you there, Sunshine? Yes, sorry. Congrats. Hang on the line, okay? Thanks. Or Ninja. Good at that game, Woods. Thanks, buddy. Too good. He went to Texas over the weekend and played in a celebrity golf tournament. No, not celebrity. Easy, Hollywood. Sorry, sorry. Played in a... But he was there, so it was a celebrity golf club. Oh, boy. So there was a celebrity. But the cool thing was you got to see your new nephew, which there must have been some mixed emotions there. There were. How was that? It was hard. It was hard. You know, my little brother means everything to me, and he's the best, and his wife is awesome, and their little baby is just beautiful.
The hard thing for Jamie and I was, you know, we were supposed to have a baby at this time, too. And all I kept thinking about was, well, our little guy is supposed to be with us meeting his cousin, Oliver, for the first time. Yeah. And that was just, it was hard, man. We should have had two little bubs running around, you know. It was an adoption that did not go through. The adoptive mom backed out at the last minute. Yeah. So I know it was tough. It was hard. Jamie was amazing with Oliver. Amazing. And you see your wife that's so maternal and so good. And he would just stand there and look at her and I would hold him and I'd sing to him. And he would just stare at me. He would just stare and he would stop crying and stare. So we both have a very strong affinity for little kids. It was hard, man. It was really hard. But he's so beautiful and sweet. And just, he's awesome. Woods says that he's got an extraordinarily large set of balls. He does. Extraordinarily. Which is, you couldn't figure it out, but you were like, hey, look at those suckers. Yeah. I mean, they were changing them. And I looked and I went, holy shit. Whoa. My brother was like, dude, yeah, he's got a set on him. Yeah, you're proud of it. If you're a dad, you know, if you're proud. You had an uncle. Hey, listen. You can't help but look, Woods. What is wrong with you? Jay, I don't.
think it was a gay thing. Although... I'm just saying, he stares at a lot of balls. He's a crotch stare. He is. He's a meat gazer. He's a perpetual crotch stare because they were changing his nephew? I'm just kidding. I'm not. Listen, I know you're not, but the only reason, Jay, that he stared at your genitalia is because you were on a golf course on the fairway. On the blind side of the cart, I was using the cart as a wall between us. And he walked around and intentionally went, I was on the phone. I was on the phone. I didn't know that somebody would urinate. You'd have gone like this. You would not have done the same. You'd have gone, oh, gosh, Jay, stop that. Well, I think to Wood's defense, the thing that got him to stare was the unusualness. The length. The unusual. The girth. Oh, gross. No. No, it wasn't. Wood says it was all the opposite that you, you know, and Jay's an older guy. Like you were struggling with something. He was struggling. Anaconda. Well. No. You know what? Okay. Wait a minute. An anaconda in utero. Mm-hmm. You know how when an anaconda is pregnant and it's got like 800 young in its belly? Yes. Ooh. Imagine if you were to take one of those young and stretch it out. Stretch it out. Yeah.
That's what it looked like. Well, and the funny thing was, he was stretching it out. I was holding the khakis back, and you're holding the khakis back. They're kind of puffy. I didn't want to pull a mic and be walking around with droplets on my pants all day long. Replets? Dreplets. Dreplets. Dreplets. He said dreplets. Dreplets, my bad. Yes. Now, anyway, Woods. You're a proud uncle. Your brother's a proud dad. So proud. Proud grandparents, the whole thing. It was fun. Playing golf, though, it was 106 degrees. Was it really? Yeah. Was it humid? Our tea time was one o'clock. Oh, God. What? Heat of the day. 101. Yeah, 115. Was it humid? Oh, yeah. It was like baking. Filthy. We took it to the house after seven holes. We said, that's enough. Let's go get some whiskey showers. Oh, that's so awful. It was brutal. All for a good cause.
570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call for any reason. Beautiful weekend in San Diego. And I mean gorgeous. Every time I leave. Every time. It was so nice. I felt bad. I went to watch a movie outside by the ocean and took a picture of like the movie screen and the sunset and the silhouette of the palm trees and posted it. And meanwhile, my relatives are like bracing for a hurricane back east. In basements. We got to see Sienna. We went to Sienna's and were there for her daughter's first birthday party. And it was so fun. And there was a big jumpy. It was a great time. And Sienna sends her love. Still big-breasted? Yes, Woods. And you would have loved a moment. You would have loved a moment that happened. What happened? Her mom, as a joke, took a red velvet cupcake that had red frosting on it and put a globule right in the middle of her cleavage. And she was super mom. It was a costume-themed party and it was super characters. She was wearing this very, you know, showy...
Showed some... No. She was just wearing a normal dress. Well, she was wearing a normal dress. She's wearing a normal dress. But she's very blunt. She can't help it. With the boobies. Yes. And so her mom put the globbage right there. And her husband, Todd, saw it. And he goes... And he'd had a whiskey sour to himself. Yeah. And he goes, is that for me? And he goes in for it, and she's like, get out of here. No, he didn't. She pushes him away. She's like, get out of here. Todd and I are very similar people. I want to squeeze him. Absolutely. So the seafoam, what was the seafoam? You want to see the video? Go to Facebook.com and watch the seafoam video for yourself, because I'm going to tell you what it was when we come back. It's hideous. I'm going to tell you what it actually was. 570-1949 or text them 949mikey at gmail.com or come in 94.9 AT&T oh my goodness you need internet AT&T's got it you can get the AT&T Wi-Fi network and you can do it today it's only $14.95 a month guaranteed locked in for a year there's no reason you shouldn't be doing it
It includes the on-the-go access to the entire AT&T National Wi-Fi Network. No extra charge. I'm talking about 24,000 different hotspots nationwide. So you get to stay connected while you're flying around or traveling or whatever you're doing. Let's say you got your iPad. You want to connect. Beautiful. Hotspots all over the place. Would you like to do this? Call 877-only-ATT or go online. tt.com slash possible. Or you can just walk into one of their retail stores. It's AT&T. Price for three meg service. $10 per 50 gigabytes for DSL usage over 150 gigabytes a month. Local access line required. After 12 months, standard internet rates apply. Offer expires November 5th, 2011. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does! Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Fiskar Scissors, just $1.
12-pack paper made mechanical pencils, just $1. Pencil box, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 9-3. Pencil box and scissors, limit 5. Pencils, limit 3. The weekend might be over, but the savings are going on and on at Vons. Let your weekly Vons ad be your guide. You'll find great deals that help you plan your shopping and delicious ideas for meal planning. plus stock up prices on home essentials. You'll find it all in your weekly Vons ad. Shop Vons today to pick up these outstanding Vons Club specials, like Safeway Kitchen Soft Honey Wheat or White Breads for only $2.99 each, 22-ounce size, selected varieties. And Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh Lunch Meat is just $3.99 each, selected varieties. And it's back to school time at Vons. Now through September 13th, look for school bus tags on items throughout the store. Use Vons Club at checkout. Then choose a local school to receive 10% of the price of the items you buy. Simple as that. With 10% of the price of selected items going to the school of your choice, plus the fantastic low prices you can count on, there's never been a better time to shop at Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. This is the sound of Jim creating an online store for his business. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Access denied. What is this?
This is David building his online store with Chase's new Instant Storefront. And move that over there. Jim. Oh, what did I just do? David. That was easy. Introducing Instant Storefront, an all-new e-consolution that gives small business owners everything they need to sell products online. And best of all, customer payments can be deposited into your Chase business checking account often on the next business day. So you can reach more customers and keep your cash flow. flowing. Act now and try Instant Storefront free for three months. Visit chase.com slash storefront to get started. Instant Storefront. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Merchant services agreement with Chase Payment Tech and Chase business checking account required and subject to approval. Restrictions apply. Offer expires September 30th, 2011 and applies to kiosk package only. See chase.com slash storefront for complete details. JP Morgan, Chase Bank, any member of TIC. It's a pop quiz from Cox. Which service offers free HD channels with no strings attached? Cox Advanced TV, of course. Cox has over 1,800 HD viewing choices. That's more than Satellite or the old phone company. Right now, during the Cox Cool and School sale, Cox Advanced TV starts for less than $25 a month. You get tons of free features with Cox Advanced TV, like TV Online. It lets you enjoy your favorite movies and shows anywhere, anywhere. And if you add whole home DVR, you can record your favorite shows in one room and watch them from another.
Cox Advanced TV starts for less than $25 a month, and that's not an introductory price. Plus, add the best in premium programming like HBO and Cinemax for just $15 more a month for six months. So visit us right now at cox.com to sign up and get other exclusive deals. It's the cool in school sale from Cox. Limited time offer excludes required equipment rental, taxes, and other fees. Other restrictions apply. Summer is a time to kick back and relax. Unless you're an engineer for Mercedes-Benz. For them, there is no R&R, only R&D, and they've been engineering their vehicles the same tireless way for 125 summers. It's a dedication to craftsmanship you can feel behind the wheel of the 2011 E-Class sedan, a vehicle so advanced it can alert you when veering from your lane or even when driving drowsy.
For one month only, come to the Mercedes-Benz Summer Event and lease the exceptionally engineered E350 Sport Sedan, an IIHS Top Safety Pick, for just $5.89 a month for 33 months, with $4,684 due with signing. So hurry in before the event ends August 31st. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through August 31st, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. What's your perfect cup of joe? Does it have a splash of French vanilla? Or is your secret high-voltage java straight up? Hey, no. With countless flavor options from cappuccinos to sweeteners, you can go wild and create exactly what you're secretly craving. Where? At a.m. p.m., when you buy three cups, you'll get the fourth on us. It's like f***ing. Have it all and then some. A.m. p.m. Too much good stuff. At participating stores for a limited time while supplies last. See store for details. Hi, this is Mike Lowry, Fire Chief with the City of Escondido. Fire season is here. Are you ready? The Fire Chiefs Association has teamed with SDG&E to keep our communities safe. We're making sure the areas around power lines are clear of brush and up to fire code. You should take steps, too. Establish a defensible space around your home. Fire-resistant landscaping is a big help as well in creating a defensible space. For more fire safety tips...
Visit sdge.com slash safety. Thanks, and stay safe this season. Infinity, performance cars that challenge the status quo at every turn. Visit infinityusa.com today. This report brought to you by Burger King. Go to Burger King, try a delicious croissant-wich paired with a Seattle's best coffee. Enjoy a flaky croissant, scrambled eggs, American cheese, and your choice of sausage, bacon, or ham at participating restaurants. In Escondido, the 15 southbound after Felicita Road, an accident on the right shoulder. You're backed up to Deer Springs Road, average speed about 20 miles an hour. Five northbound before Loma Santa Fe Drive. We've got the left lane blocked by a tire. And Mission Avenue at Douglas Drive, the traffic light's not working. in there, treat it like a four-way stop. This report brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is backed by a 99.99% jam-free guarantee. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer Mill. No worries. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. The good news is they did a study and it says that one of the best things you can do for yourself after a workout is drink beer. The bad news? Non-alcoholic. Is that right? Yeah. I'm working out today, so I should suck down a Coors Cutter when I'm done? Well, it'll help you. They did this test. and they wanted to see if drinking beer was better than drinking water or Gatorade. So they had these people that were runners drink some non-alcoholics, and they recovered faster. Wow. Really? Mm-hmm. They also had fewer health issues, but it only worked with non-alcoholic beer. It's the only way to do it. Woodsy, what's going on in sports?
I'm going to tell you about an awesome Little League team from California. But first, sports is brought to us by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. You guys, let's put our hands together. The U.S. has brought it home. The Little League World Series, California, Huntington Beach, beat Japan 2-1 on a walk-off hit by Nick Prado. He said when he was getting in the box, he said, quote, oh, God, oh, God. And he said he calmed himself. and just said, hey, look for a good pitch to hit, and he did, and they brought it home and beat Japan 2-1. So congratulations to those guys. Also, the Padres were not so lucky in Arizona. They got swept by the Diamondbacks, and they're just unbelievable pitching. It was not a good day. Yesterday they lost 6-1 and got swept. Word of the day is ambassador. And let me tell you something. Today it is really worth something. Oh, yeah. When I say the word ambassador between now and 10, caller 9, You're going to get 50 bucks to the Crossroads at House of Blues, which is a great restaurant. But you're also getting a pair of tickets to see the Foo Fighters at Viejas Arena on October 17th. So it is a big prize today. Be listening for me to say the word ambassador. So Hurricane Irene's coming in Saturday morning watching a little TV and see this reporter who is standing on what appears to be a boardwalk. Only imagine.
that you put too much soap into your washing machine by five times the amount you're supposed to put, and it goes crazy, and there's foam all over your house. That's what it looked like, okay? And it's coming out of the ocean. And I'm going to tell you what it was in just a minute, but first, take a listen to this. WTTG's Tucker Barnes with the very latest. Tucker, what are you experiencing there? Hi, guys. Yeah, the conditions here continue to deteriorate in a big way. The waves are crashing up against the seawall. It's developing this foam that is riding over the top and starting to stick to all the hotels and buildings right along the boardwalk here. When I saw it, my jaw dropped open. I'm looking at it on the television. My jaw drops open. I'm sitting on the bed. My wife is sitting next to me. She's on her computer. I don't even look at her. My jaw's dropped open. I just tap her. I just tap her on the shoulder. And she goes, what? And looks and she goes. Excuse me, it's in my face as well, as you can imagine. It doesn't taste great. I've been told by my station, I don't know what it is, but it has a sort of sandy consistency to it. You guys there? Yeah, Tucker, we've never seen anything like this. You just said it has a sandy consistency. What is it? It smells like ocean, I take it? Yeah, you got it. It smells like ocean. Our chief meteorologist back at the station said...
that it's some sort of organic matter, I guess, plankton or something, and mixed in with sand and salt. I can tell you firsthand that it doesn't smell great. Well, it doesn't sting a whole lot. It feels kind of soapy, but it doesn't smell great. What's organic matter? You see, when it rains and there's an abundance of rain and there's flooding, what you'll get is you'll get some raw sewage. That has no place else to go but the ocean. And when it's in enormous amounts, that particular organic matter will kick up what looks like foam. And as you can hear in the report, apparently it's got a sandy consistency. Go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show and watch the video. It's hideous.
I said to my wife, I go, I'm 41. I've never seen anything like this. Poof home. Poof home. 41 years old, never seen anything like it. I would bathe my face in Clorox after that. So gross. Maybe don't go tasting what... Well, he couldn't help it. I was flying into his mouth. They always have to do the shot right up next to the wall where the waves are crashing. We've got to get that shot in. I don't want to do it. Simmons, you get in there. But I don't want to. This is your big break. There's poo foam in there. I'm not doing it. Speaking of not being able to believe my eyes. I think everybody lost a piece of themselves on that day. That's why we're rebuilding. I'm committed to stay here from the first bowl to the last bowl. This job's different. every day that I come to work. You guys, I cannot, cannot stress this enough to you. Set your DVR. I saw a special over the weekend, and it's called Rising. You just heard the promo for it. It's on Discovery. It's called Rising, Rebuilding Ground Zero. What it's about, obviously, is 9-11 and what they've been doing at Ground Zero. Now, as you know,
When the towers came down, left these gigantic craters, okay? And what this program is about is sort of showing you how did they decide what they were going to do? It took so long, right? I mean, here we are. It's 2011. And the skyline hasn't been replaced yet. But they have made progress. And until I saw this show, I didn't really know what progress they made. But it wasn't just that. They had to make the point when they started this documentary to say, we can't tell all the stories. There's so many of them that are moving and compelling that we had to pick some. One of them that they picked is amazing. He's an iron worker. His name's Mike O'Reilly. Big dude. Strapping dude. He is exactly what you would imagine somebody from the East Coast that is in construction to look like. He's got blue eyes. Real well-defined.
Chin real well. I mean, masculine dude. And this guy's from New York. And he says, yeah, I was a bartender. And when the attacks in the World Trade Center happened, I got out of bartending. And I asked my father if I could get into ironworking. And he said no. And the reason he said no was because he worked on the original World Trade Center. And he was paralyzed from doing it. And so he said no to me. But I tried to convince him. And eventually, after a lot of convincing, he said, yeah, you can do it. They show a picture of his old man. He's got a pipe in his mouth. Strapping dude, man. And Mike O'Reilly, iron worker, is a little boy in the photograph. His dad's got his arm around him by a fishing boat, and he's got a big pipe in his mouth. His dad was working on the original World Trade Center, got on a piece of iron and was sliding down it, and he...
He started to slide too fast. He was out of control. And he broke his back and was paralyzed from the legs down. But here, decades later, is his son, Mike O'Reilly, who is now one of two of the main ironworkers working on Tower One of the New World Trade Center. And he's up 38 stories. And all he can think about is his old man. And he says, you know, I always used to think to myself when I would look at those buildings, That my dad was paralyzed for a reason. But when those buildings came down, I felt like it was for nothing. It was for nothing. He said, so I had to do something. I had to quit my job as a bartender and go into ironworking. And here he is years later, rebuilding the World Trade Center. You have no idea what this new 11 acres is going to be like. They're taking the footprint.
of the old World Trade Centers, and they're not rebuilding there. It's going to be the biggest man-made waterfalls in the world. So picture a waterfall that cascades down into this giant hole, 11 stories, and that is going to be a memorial. Two of them. So imagine these big twos, big squares, with the name... of every person, every single human being that lost their lives in those buildings will be memorialized. And then they flew in from the Pentagon, trees that were at the Pentagon, and they're planting those trees along those 11 acres. They went to Pennsylvania, where the United Airlines Flight 93 went down, and they took trees from there, and they're replanting them on this site. Oh, man. The new World Trade Center. The Freedom Tower. You talk about America. You see, they wanted to put this new building up, but it was going to be 63 feet from traffic. And so they hired a security company. And the security guy says, well, one of the things that we have to do is we have to think the unthinkable. We have to imagine the unimaginable. We have to, in our minds, think of the worst thing that could possibly happen.
and plan for it. So when we first started to do this, we thought, well, we're 63 feet from the traffic. We can't do that. But then we thought, well, wait a minute. Maybe we can. What they decided they would do is they would make reinforced steel 20 stories high so that any blast that went off would be nothing. Couldn't do anything. 20 stories high of just reinforced steel before they even begin the building. Wow. And then when they built the building itself, they used enough concrete to support it to make something like 1,100 miles of sidewalk. In terms of actual concrete in a building, they're writing the book. It's never been done. Normal rebar that goes inside, that's the steel.
cords that go inside of cement. Normal rebar is the size of your thumb. But for this new World Trade Center, it's the size of your arm. Wow. They've basically made this thing into a fortress. They've made it the exact same height as the old World Trade Center. And then they are going to put up a steeple that goes 400 feet. And so the actual footage of the building will be 1,776 feet. For a reason, by the way. 1776. Man, when our country wants to do something, and when they want to say, we're not backing down, they do it. And they do it really, really good. It's setting records, and it's also setting the bar for a secure building. No building has ever been built like this before.
for they're putting up one story per week and on september 11th of 2011 it will be the tallest building in new york city i'm telling you if you do not get this thing on your dvr you are missing out it's called rising rebuilding ground zero it's on the discovery channel and i in terms of stories In terms of moving stories, this is it. The guy that was the architect that designed it, he's telling a story and he says, you know, this is really personal for me because my son, who was a New York City fireman, he says he called me that morning. He used to call me all the time. He called me every day. Hey, Dad, what are you doing? What are you doing? He says, I can't tell you. And then his voice hitches and he stops.
And he looks up at the ceiling. His eyes are fluttering. His eyes are filling with water. I can't tell you how much I miss those calls. And he's thinking that as he's designing the new World Trade Center. Oh, man. That will stand in the skyline as a big finger. Really. It's a big finger that says, you can't bring us down. I mean, you can, but we're going to rebuild and we're not going to stop. You can't stop us. Every single part of this new. Memorial has a meaning to it, the way that the building's shaped. If you see the building, if you Google it, what the new tower is going to look like, you'll notice that it has these real sharp angles to it. And a lot of people wonder, well, what are those angles about? The old World Trade Center buildings, the two twin towers, you know how they were square, right? But in the corners, they were flat. I didn't know that until I watched this, but in the corners, they were flat. There was a reason. The architects designed it that way so that when the sun hit it at sunset,
It would glisten. Well, what they did with this building is that they exaggerated that times about 100. So that now when the sun is setting, that building is going to look like a torch. Let me tell you, that new skyline in New York City, it will be like no skyline, not in the country, in the world. It will be like no skyline in the world. They're making a museum on the site. And the museum is going to have two what they call tridents. They were the only two intact pieces from the old World Trade Center. And they're going to be there on this museum. Not only that, but they're also building the subway system to go through this place to bring more than a million visitors there per day. Wow. Per day. It's mind-blowing. It's mind-blowing.
Absolutely mind-blowing. As I was watching, I thought, I can't wait to take my kids there. I can't wait to be there. I mean, you've seen the reaction from people as they watch, as they go to the Vietnam War and they look at the Vietnam War Memorial. Imagine when they go to the footprint of the old towers and it's the biggest waterfalls man-made in the world. Incredible. And they read these names, scores and scores of names, 3,000 names around these squares. and walk amongst trees that were there in Pennsylvania and in Washington, D.C., it's going to be amazing. Unbelievable. But anyway, I had to tell you about it. You've got to watch it. It's called Rising Rebuilding Ground Zero. I got chills. Oh, man, it's so good, you guys. I saw the holes a couple years after. I peeked through the fence and looked down. They're down there working and pulling stuff out. It's unbelievable. It's very melancholy. Yeah, to think that this thing is going to be there finally. Yeah. Yeah, and you know, what's so cool about it is that as they're putting this thing up, they're saying that there are people, you'll see people there at midnight. Oh, yeah. Just onlookers looking up at it at midnight because they want to watch this thing going up. I bet, man. I bet. I bet they're just sitting there camped out watching. Oh, yeah, man. The people that are actually working on it, they're putting in...
Overtime and free time and all kinds of time. Every single thing about it is purely American. Every single thing about it is purely American. Listen, it isn't just the biggest event of our lifetime. It's the biggest U.S. event. No doubt. It's the biggest U.S. event. Pearl Harbor was the biggest thing up until then. But 9-11 changed it all. 9-11 changed. Everything. 9-11 made the words and the numbers. 9-11? Something else forever. Some of the most touching stories are the stories of survivors and what's in their guts. That's some of the coolest stuff. Watching some of these survivors. Awesome. The only two things in life that make it worth living is guitars to tune good and firm feeling women. Woodsy, Neil Hirsch. Yes.
He's the guy that was in Into the Wild, right? Love him. What else? What else do we know Emile Hirsch from? Girl Next Door. Yep. He's put out this video of him having dental surgery and being high on the gas. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. And we will play that audio for you. Hi, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. 570-1949. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS Top Safety Pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 MPG Highway and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry-exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity?
Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 27 mpg highway. Well, the choices just got easier. Hurry in for the best deals of the year at the Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram Summer Clearance Event. These offers absolutely end Labor Day. Lease the 2011 Charger Rally for $269 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due at signing for well-qualified, current, less easy, competitive vehicles. Tax that on license extra. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy four-cylinder front-wheel drive based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped for towing. Call 1-888-4-DODGE for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. No turn-in of current lease is required. Take delivery by 9611. Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group LLC. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings. That's close, but you can really save a lot of money. You're going to get some savings. Much better. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive.
Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Let's take another call. Hey, Flo. Ever wonder if you offer too many discounts? Never. Homeowners, safe driver, snapshot, pay in full. Right now, we offer more discounts than ever. Doesn't that seem a bit excessive? Wait. Is this Bill and Tom from another insurance company? Hang up. Busted. Getting you all the discounts you deserve. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff, like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Fiskar Scissors, just $1.
12-pack paper made mechanical pencils, just $1. Pencil box, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 9-3. Pencil box and scissors limit 5. Pencils limit 3. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America. Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding, so see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infinity G25 Journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment. Or get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details. I'm at an outdoor concert, and I'm stuck on blanket duty. Are those seats taken? Oh, yeah, someone's sitting there.
I'm waiting for my friends to bring me back a Coke from concessions. Hey, can we sit here? Sorry, occupied. Anyway, it's really hot, and I'm really thirsty, and it's kind of hard work fending off all these people. Hey, is this seat taken? Sorry. Oh, you've got a Coke. Well, pull up some blanket. Let's crack that open. Uh, could I sit down? I've got a Coke, too. Yes, and yes. Sit down. Hey, we're back with the Coke. Um, who are these people on our blanket? Uh, they had Coke. Figured we could squish. Every precious moment of summertime should be enjoyed down to the very last drop, just like a refreshing Coca-Cola. So grab your friends and grab a 12-pack of Coke for just $4 for $11 at Ralph's, at the beach, the mall, the game, or whatever. When you're out enjoying all the fun that summer has to offer, stay refreshed with an ice-cold Coke. Coca-Cola, open happiness. Stevie! Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes!
I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet. I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 RX 350 for $459 a month for 36 months with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 RX350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer valid on the Lexus Western areas only and end September 6th, 2011. Hi, I'm Almond. I'm a fresh and easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity.
Saving money, we pass on to you. Oh, I love the store. Most of the prices, they're very competitive. I always know it's going to be good quality, too. His food is prepared with love. And, you know, tastes how I am, but it's an affordable price. Everybody can afford it. I get everything from here. Thank you. Fresh and easy. Thanks, Almond. Now everyone can save on our assorted pork chops. Enjoy Center and End Cut Bone-In Chops for only $1.99 a pound every day. Hurry into the REI Labor Day sale and clearance August 26th through September 5th and save up to 30% on great gear and clothing. REI. Find out. This report is brought to you by California Citrus Pest and Disease Prevention Program. Save your citrus. The Asian citrus psyllid can carry a disease that will kill your citrus trees. Visit CaliforniaCitrusThreat.org. Learn how you can protect your backyard tree. Well, it looks like in Oceanside, Mission Avenue, Douglas Drive, the traffic lights are not working correctly. Just use it as a four-way stop. On the 15 southbound after fell a Cedar Road, we had an earlier accident. They've cleared it completely off the freeway, so you can get through now. 5 northbound at 6th Avenue, an accident that does have the right lane blocked, and it is a four-car crash. This report brought to you by Burger King. Go to Burger King and try a delicious croissant, which paired with a Seattle's best coffee. Enjoy a flaky croissant with scrambled eggs, American cheese, your choice.
choice of sausage, bacon, or ham at participating restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Bloomberg Sir Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a beautiful Monday morning being brought to you by Frostbruit Coors Light. It's how San Diego breaks. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Today, under mostly sunny skies, we do have a little bit of surf still left out there. Some west-northwest and southwest combining with it at the same time, too, although that southwest pretty swell has tapered off just a notch. That means slightly smaller surf across the board, but still running in that fun knee-to-waist high zone on average. Chest high plus at the standout combination spots. Coming off of a lower tide this morning, which is further hindering size and shape, so look for some improvement as the morning continues. Really not much of a reef break as well as there's not a lot of energy to it. It's pretty crossed up. Beach break's looking, once again, to be the place to be. Water temperature running in that 63 to 66 degree range. Some warm and cold spots, too, so dress appropriately. And that's about what we're looking at. I'm taking my daughter Malia to school for the first day this year. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For all your surfboard repair needs, check out what a trailroper's ride just repair a job. It's right down there on Marina Boulevard.
The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. It's been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Word of the day's ambassador could get you a pair of tickets to Foo Fighters October 17th. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. That's our friend Jared. Amazing stuff. He's a graphic designer, does amazing work. And if you need business cards or a website, he is your man. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. This was one of the funnier videos I've heard in a while. Emile Hirsch, who was in the movie Into the Wild.
Went to the dentist and decided to start taping himself. You're so beautiful. Right on par. Wow. Genius. Oh my gosh. The dentist. Oh man. That sounds like how I was when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. Again.
Oh, it's fun. Have that as a drop forever. It's fun, man. So, if you're a single lady and you want to go out with crafts, hey, Chris, you'll be happy to hear this, buddy. A lot of the girls that are applying for this are girls that have come into the studio and seen you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They want a taste. Yeah. Or met him. Or met him. Talked to him. And they're like, I think he's good looking. Yeah. Super nice. And nice. Yeah, but I think it's cool to be thought of as good looking. To me, that's the big thing because it doesn't happen. I'm thought of, you know, for my mind. I don't know. I go as far as to say that I look like a butthole. I thought he was saying you were known for your butthole. No. That's what he was trying to say about. No, no. That's what I was gathering from that placement.
We're around the campfire. Mike, I'll get you any way I can. Anytime, any place. I know you're down, but I don't care. I'll just stick you with a samurai sword. I don't care, Mike. Don't you get it? How does that feel, Mike? You bleep? Anyway, if you want to be a part of the dating game with Chris, go to MikeyShow.com and you'll see a thing there, the dating game. It's like at the bottom of the page or something. Click on that and you're going to send us a picture. If you don't, we're going to delete it. You're going to tell us about yourself and there you go. Don't direct me to Facebook. I don't have the time to go sniffing around on Facebook, don't I? That's right. Let's go ahead and include the picture and make it easy on us. MikeyShow. I'm 22 years old, just getting on the dating scene after breaking up with my college boyfriend. I started seeing this guy a few weeks ago, and I can't tell if he's a stalker or I'm just out of the game. He's a sales rep, so is out in the field most of the time, but he leaves little notes on my car and has stopped by my work on more than one occasion to say hello. I think it's a little creepy. My mom says it's romantic. What do you guys think? Thanks, M1 Cassandra.
Well, without the benefit of knowing the guy, it's hard to know whether he's creepy or whether he's just romantic. But see, she doesn't know the guy either. Yeah. But I mean, in and of itself, leaving notes on your crush sounds kind of sweet. Oh, we just got to. We just got to. Oh, I love it. Wouldn't you love it? A little early on for the notes. Just a little bit. This is the world we live in now. A man can no longer be romantic. You can be chivalrous or you're a creep. If you're chivalrous or romantic, yeah, you are a sex pervert stalker. Well, if you're always knowing where her car is, it's a little creepy. Well, she's at work. She's at work. Maybe not always. Oh, really? Order apartment? I was at the OBGYN. She's at the orthodontist. She's at the post office. He says he stopped by my work. Leaves notes in my car. Okay. What's wrong with that? Check. Hides in the bushes. Yes. Hides in her shower. Hides in the closet. Looks sitting through her window. Who's the only girl on the show? I'm telling you. You would love it. No, I'm telling you. What if it was black? Well, then, yeah. See, I think Ella B would be totally into it. Gotta be showing her affection, love, and attention. Well, too much, too soon. Man, see? Back it up. Yeah. Beep, beep.
I've said it since day one. Women don't like nice guys anymore. They like these. They like jerks and aloof guys that treat them like garbage. You can't put all your cards on the table all at once. Ignore her and she'll fall in love with you. Ignore her and she'll fall in love with you. Exactly. What usually happens is it starts out really good and then it goes downhill. So don't put all your, just, you know, gradually do it. I think it's a sweet gesture if he sent her flowers or, you know, left a little note. Hey, was thinking about you. Call me later. Well. see the mom thinks it's romantic because she's from the time period when it was when it was that's exactly right still should be yeah i agree but you know there are a lot of sex perverts out there that's true you're a sex pervert because you leave a note on a car say hello no i'm just saying that there are a lot of sex perverts out there and there's a lot of crazy people man a lot of a lot of guys get nuts real early and a lot of girls get nuts real early well thankful for that
Lauren O'Brien? Yes. How does a little note on the car equal sex pervert? I didn't say it was sex pervert, but it's not just one note. It's multiple notes, multiple drop-bys. Maybe she's dating multiple people. He's like staking his claim. He's basically peeing on her car. Oh, man. Wow, dude. Women be rough these days. Women be rough, dude. She must not be all the way into him either. Because if she has any kind of doubt, then it means it too much. No. I'm telling you. I would be myself. And you know what I've realized? First of all, I haven't had to be in the game. But what I've realized, talking to people, especially talking to people like LLB, if I was myself, I'd be single for a long time. 100% you would. Because women would be freaked out by me. Well, you guys also have both told women on a first date that you love them. That's fair enough. Well, in our defense, we were both hammered. Yes, that is in our defense. Did it work? Well, we are what you call, Woods and I are what you call. Early love sayers. We say I love you first. And we say it early. Often. Early and often. Early and often. When you guys FaceTime, who says it first? Oh, boy. Is it Woods that says it first usually? I bet it's Mikey. Fine, L.O.V. We'll FaceTime you.
I don't want to be FaceTimed. I see you guys all day. She hates us so much. Why does she hate our friendship? She makes fun of it. She doesn't want to be our friend. She doesn't want to be our friend. We're friends. She'll say it all the time. She'll be like, two peas in a pod. Look at you guys all friends. We're like, I'm sorry. Maybe we're all friends. FaceTiming. Sorry. It's fun. Leaving notes on each other's cars. Do you FaceTime Rebecca? No. I FaceTime Jamie. I live in the same house. Well, you spend more time with Woods. No, that's not true. It is true. It's true. I'd FaceTime L.O.B. if she'd pick up. She would never answer. I've only gotten FaceTime once and I was sitting right across from you and I picked up. That's true. I FaceTime Jamie all the time. From the next room. That's inappropriate. From the next room. Why? It's my wife. L.O.B. was... 157 degrees on Saturday. She was dressed as Wonder Girl. Supergirl. In velvet. Long sleeve velvet. Hot. I had to wear tights too because the thing was made for a slutty Halloween costume. One year old's birthday party. I ordered it online. You know when you see someone
And you're looking at that like when you're driving down the road and you see in the middle of summer, a guy putting tar on the roof of a house. It makes you nauseous. Andy Dufresne up there. Drinking hot beer. I was trying to wear it for pictures and then we didn't take a single picture. Because Matt was dressed as Clark Kent. Did you guys reenact that later? No, we did not. But we did get the award for best superpowers as a couple. They did. We got a trophy. 570-1949 is our number. Jay, did you not tell us about your ping pong trophy at 604? That you took from little kids? Didn't I get a lot of grief for that as well? Yes, you did. I can see Jay playing a 10-year-old in ping pong. Just wah, wah, wah. Better figure it out, little one. Come on, chums. This is life. Get a job. I played a grown man, and he was so angry when he lost. What? He was going to throw the paddle. I'll beat you. The kids are going back to school now. Don't let the door hit you on the butt as you're on the way. Not me.
Jasper's in the car right now, headed to school. Does he? He's not happy. That's why I'm crying, Mike, because I ain't no crap dad. I'm all in crying. You want kids out of the house? All I want is for them to stay. I tried to homeschool them. I tried to homeschool them. Kim wouldn't let me. I want to be a home dad. I want to be a home dad. I told him to put on a happy face. I'm sure that worked. Oh, yeah. He goes, okay, dad. Jake, my son Jake is four, and because he is high-functioning autistic, he had this helper, you know? that used to shadow him well she's done she's leaving and going to nyu and so she came over uh last week it was her last day with him and she's sitting in the living room and jake goes he's got his head down and he goes will i be able to see you anymore when i'm four oh and i got her she just she couldn't handle it her face turned bright red her face turned bright red her bottom lip started the quiver and she and it just they were pouring out like a waterfall. Oh, no. Little kids will get you when they say things. Especially that one. Oh, man. Especially that one. They say stuff and you go, well, that's emotional terrorism. What are you doing to me? Oh, my God. You see that Grey's Anatomy once you chill out. I get it. You're cute. You say touching things. You're precocious. We get it. Stop it. So it is. Did you know that bees and dogs can smell fear? Are you going to go to NYU? Life.
I am, bud. Yeah, I have to. Will I never see you and your pretty face again? You'll see me again. You'll see me. Will I see you again tomorrow? When you go to school, would you still love me? Will you ever think of me again? When you go away, will you forget all about me? Will I be a distant memory? How come you don't want to see my face anymore? I love you. I'm so sorry. I'm not going. I'll stay. Yeah, she couldn't go to NYU because of Hurricane Irene and Rebecca goes. Rebecca's like, hello. Sorry. Let's see. 5701949 is our number. If you want to give us a call.
A couple of things that I wanted to tell you about are apparently human beings have inherited some of their immune genes from Neanderthals. It goes all the way back to the Ice Age after interbreeding. What was that like, Jay? Was it cold during the Ice Age? It was a lot of fun, actually. Did it take a long time to warm up? It didn't take as long as you'd think. A lot of body action. A lot of body action. I figured out the way that I'll get back in Mac. Whenever he does anything, I'll just come back dirty. Sex it. Sex it up real good. See what he does in. More than 8,000 packages of smoked salmon have been recalled. Didius.
Contaminated. Is there anything grosser sounding than contaminated smoked salmon? That's the grossest sounding thing I've ever heard. Who eats that? I'd love it. Of course. Jay eats fish from a can. Processed fish, no problem. You know that the people from the movie Alive that were stranded in the snow, they wouldn't eat the stuff Jay eats out of a can. Smoked salmon here. I'll eat my friend's butt. That's frozen. I'll eat that before I eat the fish from the can. So disgusting. Oh, and there's a TSA agent that has now admitted to helping out a drug dealer. That always scares me, man. The people that are working for the TSA, how do you know that they're on the up and up? No doubt. Because all it takes is one of those dudes to be crooked and you're done. But anyway, this guy, his name is Minetta Walker. He's arrested in March. And actually, it's a woman. I'm sorry. And she admitted on Friday that, yeah, she was helping this guy get around security scanners. Just him smuggling drugs. Smuggling drugs. Terrible. Wow. Our number again, 570-1949, if you want to give us a call. Some great football over the weekend. The Chargers.
Won their game. They did, man. Sharp, dude. So freaking Billy Volick, dude. I mean, he leads them down the field with three minutes left and they win. We may have the best backup quarterback in the league. I'm telling you, this kid, Brian Walters, he's this white kid. I think he went to Yale or Princeton or Cornell or something. This kid's money, dude. He ran back that kick. He caught the 14-yard touchdown pass for the win. Looked good. He's a good young little kid. That's awesome. Hope he makes the squad. Coming up in just a little bit. We're going to be playing Mikey Morning Quarterback. Oh, thank you. Now, if you've never played it before, we do it after the games on Sunday. It doesn't have anything to do with the games necessarily. What it is, is you pick J or L-O-B. Great. And we ask them football questions. It's the greatest. It's one of my favorite things. The answers that they come up with are one of my favorite things. So we will be doing that.
Coming up, what was he? Oh, I was going to see if you would play Flea Flicker for me. Or Joe. Or Joe. These are a couple. If you missed it before, these are a couple of Jay's answers in the past. Yeah, he messes up words. A Flea Flicker. What about Joe Montana? Joe Montana. I hate you. That's what makes the game so fun. Not to be confused with Taylor Swift. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Have you guys done that more since knowing Jay? I do it now. You do? Yes. No, I don't. Jay, it's contagious, man. Well, you guys do it all the time, but you just don't isolate it. Yeah, it's true. Do we? You do. A lot of people, I stutter and I mix up the letters. I have been now. I have been doing it a lot lately. Maybe you're just more conscious of it. Taylor Swift. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. It's not because everybody's going to mix up a word from time to time. It's the confidence in which he says it with most of the time. That's what gets me. Yeah, it's so great. So we told you that Dr. Phil is going to be having Casey Anthony's parents on, and this is the promo for it. I want you to answer my questions, tell the truth once and for all. Casey. What are you attacking them? It's just the parents. Yeah.
You know the truth, don't you? Coming September 12th on the season premiere of Dr. Phil. A channel? The Dr. Phil channel. There's a channel? Yes. No. You've never seen the Dr. Phil channel? Hello, but you have to come over to one of our houses and watch it. Oprah has a network. That's channel Phil. Channel Phil? Yes. No, it isn't. It's 109, I believe. I think it's channel 108. 108. 108. One day. One day cable. God forbid she'd come over and watch it with us. You guys aren't going to watch it. You're going to DVR it. 100% we're going to watch it. Will you do something with us? Just do something. Yeah, if you guys actually watch it, I will. But it'll probably air past the time that you're going to bed, Mike. And then Woods will be watching the Yankees or something. Why don't you go to McDonald's with us and eat a big old hamburger? No way. I don't go to McDonald's anymore. I've been there for a while myself. Me neither, pal. 570-194-9. When we come back, Mikey Morning Quarterback, call right now and pick J or L-O-B. Oh, boy.
You've got to pick one of them, J or L.O.B. We'll run through the NFL questions with them. Mike, L.O.B. has actually won two weeks in a row. Yes, I have. She's killing it. Cheater. Now, text him at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is Matthew showing his bank smartphone app to a friend. I can see my balances and a map of my banks close by. This is Patrick. Showing Chase's mobile app to a friend. I can check my balances, find a Chase branch close by, transfer funds, deposit a check using my smartphone. Matthew. Um, did I mention the bank locator thing? Patrick. I can pay my bills. I can even send money to almost anyone with an email address. Matthew. Again. See, look. Branches. On a map. On my phone. With access to innovative technology like our award-winning Chase mobile app.
including Chase QuickPay and Chase QuickDeposit, plus more branches coming soon to San Diego, Chase has you covered. Visit Chase.com slash forward to download the Chase mobile app. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Chase QuickDeposit available on select smartphones. Accounts are subject to eligibility. Deposits subject to verification, limits, and restrictions. Chase QuickPay requires one Chase checking account holder on both persons in the U.S. bank account. Other limitations, plan message and data rates from your service provider may apply. J.P. Morgan, Chase Bank, and a member of GIC. So you're driving in your car and you look into the rear view mirror. And you notice that you've got on a pair of sunglasses that you've had for a long time. And you notice that you don't like to look at them. They don't look that great. In fact, they look very, very outdated. That's why you need to go to Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. You go to Sunglass and Optical Warehouse, you are going to find a pair of sunglasses that fits you. And the cool thing about them is they know how to help you. They know what to do. They know how to, they can look at your face and say, you know what's going to work for you? This. And that's what you want. Go check them out today. It's Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. LOP, what's the Springsteen song that says, I check my look in the mirror? Dancing in the dark. Dancing in the dark. That's, yeah. Come on, that's a Sunglass and Optical Warehouse.
If you're old like me, you look in the mirror. Woods just gave me a look like I'm... Girl, how drunk is you? You want them? You want them? If they got them, go get them. It's Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. New Toyota vehicles are arriving daily, and so are the great deals during Toyota's Labor Day sales event. Now save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer. We've got one in town. It is Labor Day sales event ends soon. Save thousands with 0% financing on seven popular models. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 9-6-11. Here at the Coors Brewery, our viewpoint hasn't changed in nearly 140 years.
Because right outside our window is a stunning view of the Rockies, the only place legendary Coors Banquet beer has ever been brewed. Banquet is made with only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley for that smooth, full-flavored taste. We've been doing it that way since 1873. And like the mountains themselves, that's not about to change. If your views are anything like ours, then you know a good thing when you see it. It's in that cold banquet bottle right there on the bar. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coors Banquet believes with great beer comes great responsibility. We should have bought rights to the word craftsmanship before it became so overused. Hire lawyers to protect it and keep it true. Like the true craftsmanship of the 2011 Jeep Grand Chery.
with an all-new world-class interior, best-in-class 4x4 capability, and a powerful new 290-horsepower V6. Legally, we may not own the word craftsmanship, but Grand Cherokee continues to own what it stands for. Take advantage of the best deals of the year now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event. Hurry, these offers absolutely end Labor Day. Lease Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $2.99 a month for 39 months. $24.99 due at signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Visit your SoCal Jeep dealer. Based on automotive news segmentation, call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease to Ally. Residence here. Restrict in supply. No turn-in of current leases required. Take delivery by 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. There are some things in life you may never fully understand, like what your dog actually does all day when you're not at home, or what whales do when they get thirsty. or what the guy in front of you was thinking when he decided he absolutely needed to be in your lane. But thanks to My Money Map, your finances are something you'll be able to wrap your head around. When you're ready to unravel the mysteries of your finances, at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With our free online tool, My Money Map, you can automatically track deposits and spending, set savings goals, and track your progress over time. My Money Map lets you see how much you're spending on things like groceries versus eating out, and how you're coming along with your budgeting plan.
By helping you get a better handle on your finances, My Money Map prepares you for whatever may be around the corner. So learn to embrace life's other mysteries and call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today to learn more about how My Money Map can help you understand your financial picture. Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. Where will you be heading for vacation? The mountains? The lakes? The beaches? Whatever your summer destination, make sure it starts behind the wheel of a 2011 ML350. With up to 72.4 cubic feet of cargo space, innovative brake assist technology, and a revolutionary pre-safe system that can actually detect and prepare for an accident before it happens, the M-Class is the perfect summer road trip vehicle. For one month only, come into the Mercedes-Benz summer event and get the exceptionally engineered M-Class. with 1.9% APR for 24 to 36 months, or lease one for 529 a month for 33 months, with 5,074 due at signing. So hurry in before the event ends August 31st. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services or participating dealers through August 31st, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Owen Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido.
Hurry into the REI Labor Day sale and clearance August 26th through September 5th. Save up to 30% on great gear and clothing. REI. Find out. This report is brought to you by In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger where the shakes are made with real ice cream. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about. Well, it looks like the 94 westbound after Euclid Avenue, a four-car crash, and it's over on the right shoulder. The 15 southbound between Rainbow Valley Boulevard, Center City Parkway, very heavy right now due to an earlier accident. That accident was past Citricado. On the 78 eastbound Nordahl Road, there is an accident in the center lane, and traffic is really slow at that scene. 5 southbound before 6th Avenue. We've got an incident. It's over on the right shoulder. Two car crash, but no real delays. This report also brought to you by Rhodes Bake and Serve. Hot rolls fresh from your oven. Rhodes Warm and Serve rolls from your freezer to your table in 12 minutes or less. Remember, Rhodes Warm and Serve rolls in your grocer's freezer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you? On FM 94.9. Mikey Morning quarterback coming up. Are you saying words? Am I? Yes. Were you saying something? No. I thought I was hearing you going. Was I? I don't know. Was I talking under my breath? I thought you were going. Really? That was in the song. Maybe it was in the song? Maybe I'm losing my mind. Kids should not box. This just came out. American Academy of Pediatrics. They said, don't let your kids box. It's giving them brain injuries. Chronic brain injuries. Acute brain injuries. Brain injuries. Don't do it. Don't let them. What's going on in sports? Well, San Diego State basketball coach Steve Fisher has been given a new four-year deal. He will be the head coach of the Aztecs until he is a ripe.
70 years old. Nice. Congratulations, Coach Fisher. You deserve it. 34-3 last year. Nice. Very good. And then also this Thursday, if you didn't hear, final preseason game, Chargers, Niners here, 7 o'clock. Sweet. Sweet. And I still haven't said ambassador. When you hear me work that into a sentence, caller 9, I'm going to give you tickets to see the Foo Fighters. So there it is. I get nervous. You'll do fine, Elleby. It is time for us to play. Mikey, morning quarterback. Ask questions. I'm going to ask questions to Jay and to L.O.B. and whoever gets more. Who's taking the score? I will. Okay. First, we have to decide who you want. So, M1 Adam from Marietta. Who do you want? L.O.B. You got it. And M1 Pete the Pirate from Poway. Who do you want? Jay. Yeah. Take it down, baby. Hang on a minute. And try to beat me. There you go.
All right. Now, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go back and forth asking questions of the NFL. And whoever does better is the winner. Who started last time? Jay did. All right. Are you ready, LOB? Oh, my gosh. Yes. Okay. LOB, question one. Name the player position that hikes the ball to the quarterback. Center. Wow. That is correct, LOB. Yeah. Look at that. Boom. Convenient. Booyah. Hop. Hop. How easy that was, yeah. When I give you this next question, Jay, it's so easy that I don't want... L.O.B.'s going to go, really? Really. That one was pretty easy. That was the easiest. Jay. Okay, Jay. Jay. Yes, Mikey. You'll be able to answer this question because you have a great memory. Will I? Who won the last Super Bowl? You were there at Mikey's house for the party. I didn't even watch. We go through who it wasn't.
Go through 31 teams. Dang it. How would I pay attention to that? Pittsburgh. Close. Dang it. Incorrect. It was the Green Bay Packers that won the Super Bowl. Against Pittsburgh. You guys can give him a countdown, too, like you did for me. Oh, wow. That was stern and directed at me. It was passive aggressive. It was a bit minus the passive, but yes. All right, LLB, you ready? Yeah. What NFL team? Did Bill Walsh coach for? The genius. West Coast offense. Genius. 49ers. Oh, my God. She's a stud. You guys gave her clues. No way. They said West Coast offense. That was a clue. That was a clue. No. They told you you were at the party, Jay. Oh, my God. That was a clue.
That ain't going to hit me. You limited it all the way to the West Coast. No, they run the West Coast offense on the East Coast. They run it everywhere. It's a type of offense. All right, Jay. Yeah. Who caught the immaculate reception? Jesus Christ. Is that your final answer? That's actually incorrect. That's not true. But he could have. He could have. It was Franco Harris caught the immaculate. The other one. The other one. The immaculate. Jesus Christ. Jesus. Oh, my God. If you'd like, Mike, I'll say it again. Mike, I'll crucify you. Oh, my God. Put those little nails to your hand, Mike. Oh, man. L.O.B. Yes. What city is the NFL Hall of Fame located in? Canton. Oh, my God. Holy cow. Holy cow. This girl. It is three to nothing. I only know that because of LeBron, the thing, the deal. What's the deal? Yeah, you guys, we're talking about it. Holy crap. I pay attention. Jay, what team did Terry Bradshaw play for? Oh, it's easy. You're kidding. Terry Bradshaw played for...
Bradshaw, what did he play for? I have no idea. Oh, my God. This is the luck of the draw. I would have been screwed with all of Jay's questions. Really? You don't know that one? Terry Bradshaw? Uh-oh. Steelers? Yes. Yes. He played for the Steelers. That's my go-to answer, too. I should have gone for it. You should have gone for it. Or the Steelers. L.O.B., who was the NFL commissioner before current commissioner Roger Goodell? Oh, boy. Who was it? That would be Cameron Musican. I just got a head right. Cameron Musican. When I say it, I bet you'll go, oh, yeah. Paul Tagliabue. Also a viable answer? Have you ever heard of him? No, you've never heard of him? Tagliabue. Really? No. Jay? Yeah.
Keep going. Just keep going. Keep for hours. I want to find one that I know you can get. Yeah, me too. Oh, boy. Okay, this will be fun. Spell football. This will be fun. This will be fun. This is actually one of the questions. This will be fun. This will be fun. Are you ready? Are you ready? Jay? Yes. In three seconds, tell me what state the Lions play in. Lionville. Nope. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Lionville's my favorite thing ever. Lionville. Lionville took me out of depression. Lionville. Lionville. Oh, my gosh. What the hell? Jay. What state? The Detroit Lions play in the state of? What? The Detroit Lions play in the state of? I give up. Michigan. Oh, my God. Detroit.
Jay! Detroit! Detroit! Our program director just went, come on! Idiot! I was a program director there. Crying out loud. I live with all that snow. I like Lionville. I like Lionville better. That's amazing. I know that LOB's already won it, but I just love it. Please, just keep going. Please, Mike. 50 questions every Monday. No. Let me tell you something. It takes me a while to come up with these, but I enjoy it so much, it's worth it. Yeah. LOB. Yes. What famous Miami Dolphin quarterback never won a Super Bowl? Dan Marino. Oh, my God. You're a badass. You're a badass. Look at her go. She is air-punching. She's air-punching. Jay, what team did John Elway play for? John Elway. The Patriots. Green Bay. Steelers. Steelers.
The Denver Broncos. The Denver Broncos. Yes, yes. I knew we'd get one. I knew we'd get one. I think that's going to conclude today. I want to save these. I want to save them. I want to save them. I want to save them. It's the greatest game. L.O.B. I can't strike today. I don't think she got one. Yeah, I did. I did. The commissioner. That was easy. I do think mine were easier. They were not. M1. I knew them. Adam from Marietta. Hey there. L.O.B. brought it home for you, pal. Yeah. Yeah, she never loses. That's right. Hang on the line. Unbelievable. Now he's going to Jay sleep. Jay, you're from, where'd you grow up? Texas. They don't watch a lot of football in Texas. Yeah, they hate football in Texas. How did you never get into it, Jay? I just hate it. You just didn't like it. It's the most boring thing I've ever seen on TV. See, because you're so athletic, I would have thought, man, if you played football, you'd have been good at it. I played football all the way to high school. You did? I just never liked it. There are gay guys in Texas that are like, oh, the Cowboys are on. Everybody come over. It was the only choice you had was to play football for a while. Really? Jay.
He was from Texas. He was good. Well, he's a beast. He hits like a mule. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine that? Him in full pads? I'd take him. Why didn't you keep doing it? Because everybody got big and I didn't grow as fast getting into high school. My senior year, I finally shot up. Yeah. That did not happen for me. I kept waiting. Yeah. They're still waiting. Yeah. I wonder if marijuana stunted my growth. When did you smoke marijuana? When I was 14. I always have thought in my head, even if it isn't true, I've thought to myself, I wonder if marijuana stunted my growth. I started smoking cigs at like 15, 16 and didn't stunt mine. I'm 6'1". Yeah, but is that one of the things that they say? Don't do it. It'll stunt your growth. Big time. Yeah. Okay, so try to follow me with this. My wife and I were having a conversation about something that we've thought, but we've never said out loud. And I wonder if you've thought it too. Let's say you don't like people from France. What does that make you? Are you racist? Francis. You're Francis? You're Francis. Yeah. I guess it's racist. I guess you are racist. They're not a race. They are a... You're French, aren't you? Are you prejudiced? You're prejudiced. Okay. At the risk of sounding prejudiced, I'm still going to say it. So I'm talking to my wife and there are random facts.
that a lot of us know that my wife doesn't know. One of these random facts is the fact that the band Rush is from Canada. And she goes, they are? And I go, yeah. You didn't know that? She goes, no. And I go, what? She goes, kind of irritates me when I find out bands are from Canada. What? And I thought about it for a second and I go, you don't want me too. Really? And like if I don't know and then I find out, she goes, It irritates me that we can't lay claim to Brian Adams. Like, he ain't ours. I go, you're right. And you know what it is? We want everything. Yeah, we do. We want bragging rights. We're gluttons, yeah. And then we were thinking it through even further, and I said, and there's also more to it, though. There's something about, and excuse me, Canadians. If you're listening in here from Canada, I love you. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
And first, let me say this. Well, I'll tell you during the telling of this story, but there's also this feeling on our part that I don't like that Canada doesn't need us. They don't. In fact, they look down their snobby nose at us and they go, you know what, man? We don't need your freaking rock because we got our own. We got it figured out. We don't need your freaking military. And you know what you got in your country? You got freaking Alabama, Mississippi. You got freaking a terrible economy. You got no health care. You know what we have? Beautiful people. Streets you can eat off of. Beautiful cities. Just gorgeous. And there's something about the fact that they don't need us. Like, you know, Britain, they need us. They need our economics. They need our military might. They need Canada's like. You guys are pigs. Why don't you freaking clean up your crime? We are their dysfunctional, dirty neighbor. Right. They're not jumping the border to get here. In fact, they're like, oh, gosh, I wish you weren't here. They spell color with a U. Yeah. Which I like. I know. And they know you like it. And I'm like, gosh, I wish I could do that. And we can't lay claim to it.
Like it or not, Alanis Morissette ain't yours. And you know what? She's talented. So whether or not you like her or not, she ain't yours. Neither is Brian Adams. John Candy. Justin Bieber is there. Yeah. He's there. Thank God for that. He is. But my wife actually said he's a sensation. I'd like him to still be from Cleveland. So he's our sensation. I'm proud that he's not an American. Proud. There's a lot of Canadian acts, though. Yeah, tons. They love them. I spent some time living in Canada for one of my jobs. Sarah McLachlan and Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette. You just said all those. It may be mad. But they were all pumping nonstop. Didn't matter what the genre of the station was. It was always pumping. But check it out. Like, how come we didn't get those freaking unicorns? That chick should be from Tampa. We got Michael Jackson. It's a trade-off. Yeah, sex pervert, pedophile. Yeah, and that's what the Canadians say. They're like, yeah, guess what? He was a pedophile. Yeah, they're like, you guys got Britney. Shaves her head. Dysfunctional. We get bare naked ladies. They're like, hey, guys, this is what the Canadians say to us. They're like, all your famous people are freaking crackheads. Yeah. You got me. You got Charlie Sheen here. Yeah, you got Charlie Sheen. They have Dave Coulier, so. Yeah, this is Canada. They're like, this is what you guys invented. Crack. Yeah. Crime. Serial killers. Rapists. They're like, you know what we invented? Clean streets.
And Brian freaking Adams. A lot of meth labs in Canada, though. Is that right? Stick it. It bothers me that they don't need us, that they don't want us, that they don't aspire to be us. You know what bothers me? They're not jealous of us. No, at all. I want them to be jealous of us. They look their nose down at us. They cross the border to shop because it's cheaper. Yeah. And then they go home. It's like us going down to TJ and getting stuff. Yeah. And Rebecca says, yes. And Rebecca goes, the worst part of it is, is that. they're more than willing for us to take our money. Oh, yeah. Like, they'll take our money. They'll send their famous people here to make a bunch of dough and bring it back to Canada. Oh, yeah, real good. But they're like, look at you, they're Mexicans. This is what you have. This is what you're famous for. Look at this. Oh, the border. We don't have to. You are with a Mexican problem, right? We're at Toronto. We give you the croissant. You make croissant-wich. Very good. Look at you. Fat pigs. You know, let me ask you a question about your fat children. Your obese children. We play hockey. We play hockey. You know what you do? You give your children frosted flakes with a Coca-Cola. You pigs.
We disgust them. We disgust them. We do. It makes me crazy. There's a lot of Canadian acts that are really good. Oh, yeah. City and Color. Yeah. I told Rebecca that. She was inconsolable. She goes, don't tell me that Dallas Green of City and Color is from, I guess, Canadian. Sorry. We can't lay claim. Rush, Canadian. In fact, Rush got broken in Cleveland because they had to play their music in a dirty, filthy city that was blue collar because Canada was too clean and proper to accept them. It took coming to the slums of America for Rush to get broken. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Let's see. They also don't want our ketchup. They put vinegar on their french fries. And gravy, I heard. Maple syrup lovers. Gravy. I've heard they put gravy on fries. Gravy on fries is the best. That's the poutine stuff. Wait, wait, wait. Are you talking gravy like the kind you put on mashed potatoes? Mm-hmm. They put that on fries? Mm-hmm. Not a bad idea. Weird. Oh, yeah, if you're fat, Mike. Might as well just call you Canadian, Mike. You know, Mike cut himself last week and gravy actually came out. Shot out. Spewed right out. Blood type Rocky Road. Rocky Road.
Oh, gosh. 61% of your grandmas are loving their sex lives. 61%. It's hideous. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, but it is. I thought that once you got to be a certain age, your sex drive died, diminished, went away. It doesn't. There's a lot of older people that really like to. You have to, like, exercise it or else it goes away, I believe. Use it or lose it, Mikey. Why did you say... Use it or lose it, comma, Mikey. Why that? I just want to make sure everything is fine for you. Well, I know your wife ain't making love to you. That's why I said it. She's unsatisfied. She told me she was. She called me up. Well, first she texted me, said, you there? And I said, yeah, like usual. And then she said, can I call? I said, yeah. And then she called, just complained about what a bad lover you are, Mike. She said, please tell me another from Canada, Jay. It'll ruin my life.
She said, Jay, this is what my sex life sounds like. This is what happened when Mikey's towel fell off. Oh, it's actual audio. It's beyond demeaning. It's way beyond demeaning. Oh, no. There's Mac getting out of the shower. Oh, man. It's a razor sharp knife. It cuts so deep. Oh, it smells like catapult. That might be too far. I'm hurting. I'm hurting. I need an ego boost. Maybe a workout or something. Come to the gym with me today. We'll make it right. Nope. Go for a walk. Yeah. I need to go for a walk. Yeah. Put your iPod on. Get some vitamin D from the sun. Yeah. I'd like to get a bike. You should.
We should. I'll go riding with you. I want a mountain bike. Let's go. There you go. Do it. I'll do it with you. And I'll ride bikes with you. I know. I would. I'm not kidding. I've been thinking about it myself. You should just get a tandem bike. Three months ago, I said this. I said, you guys should get bikes. You're out of your mind. I was like, you guys would enjoy riding. And Mike said, the only trail I'll ever be on is nothing. Compelling, Jay. That's what he said. He's quite the storyteller, Grisham. He trails all around your house. He's John Grisham. And Bill Shakespeare. I remember you said that you wouldn't. Mike, yeah, you said you're so fat. I don't know. I don't know. Hey, I'll get one with you. Let's do it. Let's do it. Get her back on the phone. She'll say no, I guarantee it. Get her back on the phone. My wife. Guarantee she'll say no, I can't. We got to stay off the main road, so I don't trust either of us. We got to find a parking lot at Costco to ride around. She wants us saving money.
Oh, boy. I know. Just get a used bike. You don't have to get top of the line. Yeah. That goes against every grain in your nature. That's true. Dude, I don't want top of the line. I just want comfort or I won't do it. If it's not comfortable, I won't do it. You need a big, like, squishy seat. Really, LLB? No, I have one. I knew where you were going immediately. No, I have one. You talk about on the bike, Lauren. I have one. Hey, don't make them that big. Honestly, it makes a difference because it hurts your butt. Mike, what you need is a horse. Well, you're going to be uncomfortable to get used to riding a bike. Go to a tack shop. All right? Go to a horse and tack shop. Pick up a saddle and see if one of our listeners can weld it or sew it onto a bike. Call Catherine. She's the one that made the costume. She'll do it. Oh, by the way, speaking of her, that poor Catherine having to make a costume for you, what'd she do? Go to a place that sells parachutes? She took something off a sailboat, baby. Change your name from Tommy Bahama to Tommy Hilfiger because you might as well be making sales. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Ouch. Let's get Rebecca and find out if we're allowed to get bikes. She's on the phone now. We'll talk to her, right? Yes. When we get back. And we're also going to play I'm Glad You Ask. Yes. There we are.
This is the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is the FM. Hello, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Friday the 2nd, Fitz and the Tantrums play the Del Mar Racetrack for an FM 94.9, 4 o'clock Friday. And Sunday, September 4th, the Great American Showcase downtown at El Dorado Cocktail Lounge starts in the afternoon. The Soft Pack, the Nervous Records, the Howls, a ton of bands are going to be there. Ben Harper's at the track September 4th. September 7th and 8th, Big Sonic Chill presents two nights of Thievery Corporation at House of Blues. And Telekinesis will play the SD Music Music thing kickoff party at the Casbah. Also, September 8th. Still to come this year. And about the music show with Givers. And about the music show with the pains of being pure at heart. Also, The Kills. TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys. Bush. Portugal the Man. Peter, Bjorn and John. Blink-182. The Naked and Famous. Colts. Foxer Rebellion. Black Joe Louis. And a rescheduled Company of Thieves show. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM 949.
Badges aren't given. They're earned through strength, like the available 390-horsepower Hemi engine that gets up to 20 MPG highway, and through dedication with a five-year, 100,000-mile powertrain warranty. Badges every Ram truck has worn for over 30 years. Drive home your own badge of honor today at the Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram Summer Clearance Event. But you better hurry. These deals absolutely end Labor Day. Get a low-mileage lease on Ram Quad Cab Bighorn 4x2 for $199 a month for 39 months with $37.28 due at signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Stop by California's Truck Stop. Your Ram dealer. Hurry. Offer ends soon. EPA estimated fuel economy 1,500 4x2 Hemi V8. See dealer for copy of limited warranty. Call 877-RAM-5722 for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. 25-cent charge for each mile over 32,500 miles. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 9-6. Where the turf meets the surf. Down at Icaplane, Ica-train to the turf.
Sunday, September 4th, it's a free concert with the legendary Ben Harper. And the suds will be flowing once again at our last beer fest of the season. It's all free with racetrack admission, or $20 after the last race. Check out Ben Harper this Sunday, September 4th, presented by Heineken, an 18 and up concert. Deep does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Deep does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Fiskar scissors, just $1. 12-pack paper made mechanical pencils, just $1. Pencil box, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Expires 9-3. Pencil box and scissors, limit 5. Pencils, limit 3.
I'm here with my family at our favorite campsite for a little relaxation. But it looks like the whole city had the same idea. And what was supposed to be a weekend full of peace and quiet has quickly turned into a weekend full of who can yell the loudest over that guy's radio. Or that guy's cell phone. Or that lady's, what is that? A poodle? Or that girl's delicious Coca-Cola? Hey there. Would you like a Coke? Sure. Thanks. Now this is my kind of peace and quiet. Every precious moment of summertime should be enjoyed down to the very last drop, just like a refreshing Coca-Cola. So grab your friends and grab a 12-pack of Coke for just $4 for $11 at Ralph's, at the beach, the mall, the game, or whatever. When you're out enjoying all the fun that summer has to offer, stay refreshed with an ice-cold Coke. Coca-Cola. Open happiness. What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable.
Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans, 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide, and exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd. Open an account today at missionfed.com or stop by any of our 22 local branches. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is an equal housing lender and is federally insured by the NCUA. Janet, what are you doing here? I've been thinking about what you asked, and yes, I'll marry you. Are you kidding? That was like 15 years ago. Oh, I know. I just had to be sure you were the one. Great opportunities don't wait forever. Like the Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, where you'll find exceptional values on the most popular Lexus models, but only for a limited time. Sorry, Janet. I've got to go. But what about our wedding? Well, you might want to ask my wife of seven years about that. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event, now through September 6th. Lease the 2011 ES350 for $3.99 a month for 36 months with $34.99 due at signing. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego.
Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important lease program limitations and offer details on the 2011 ES350. Not all customers will qualify. Excludes official fees, taxes, title, license, registration, and dealer charges. No security deposit required. Offer value in Lexus Western areas only and end September 6, 2011. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event. With impressive values on the most popular Lexus models. Now through September 6. See your Lexus dealer. Live from Progressive. First caller. Hi, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I think you called the wrong number, but Progressive.com lets you compare our rates with our competitors. So there are other fish in the sea. Really? Yeah, you'll find someone. No, you can really compare rates at Progressive.com? Wow, you got over that quickly. Visit Progressive.com to compare rates and start saving today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Comparison rates not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Flo here. Let's take another question. Hi, Flo. I saved a ton of money with Progressive's discounts. Great, but that's not really a question. Oh, you're right. I saved a ton of money with Progressive's discounts? Still not quite right, but you get the idea. Progressive makes it easy to save. Right. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations.
This report is brought to you by Burger King. Go to Burger King, try delicious croissant, which pair it with is Seattle's best coffee. Enjoy a flaky croissant, scrambled eggs, American cheese, and your choice of sausage, bacon, or ham at participating restaurants. Well, it looks like we've got some backup here on the 805 northbound right before Claremont Mesa Boulevard due to an accident that's on the right shoulder. A couple cars involved with that. On the 15 southbound between Old 395 Highway, the south end Felicita Road, very heavy traffic due to an earlier accident past Citricado Parkway. And the 805 northbound Mesa College Drive. There's a car stuck. It's blocking that right lane. This report also brought to you by California Citrus Pest and Disease Prevention Program. A dangerous neighbor could be moving in. The pest can carry a disease that will kill your citrus trees. Visit CaliforniaCitrusThreat.org to learn more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
But I'm super gullible. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody for their insight. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Let's talk to the ambassador of the Esparza house. My wife, Rebecca, is on the line. Hello, my darling. Hi, hon. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. Did you hear what we were talking about? A little bit. A bike? Yeah, can I get a bike? Well, I mean, I hate that it's like, can I get a bike? Because then I feel like I'm a jerk. Let me tell you what my concerns are. You know, I mean, I think it's awesome. And I always want to encourage, you know, our whole family to get out and be active. Woods is laughing this whole time. Babe, I always encourage you to exercise.
Just constant encouragement. It's something that I think is important for the entire family. The kids and myself and Mike. I want us to be active and I want to set good examples for the kids. You know, there's a lot of things to it. So, I mean, the idea of getting a bike and having you ride, I think is awesome. Like, genuinely. I think my concern is that, you know, we're... We're in a stage right now where we're really, really trying to save money and we're trying not to spend on things that are, you know, not necessity. They're not going to get used. Yeah. What's that? Things that are not going to get used. Right. That would be that was uncalled for. Things that are going to sit in the garage. Right. Combined with the fact, honestly, that we're really kind of running out of garage space.
Okay, well, I guess that's the answer. How about if you can eBay that stuff? eBay the stuff that you haven't used and then get a bike. There you go. Just sell those golf clubs. Win-win. Sell those golf clubs. Or the boogie board. Where did Rebecca go? We lost. She probably is driving when we went to a bad area. Yeah. Sell the boogie board. The four boogie boards. Sell the four boogie boards on eBay. Surfboard, wetsuit. Sell the wetsuit. The trampoline. Was it necessary to use the word giant? Sell the golf clubs. I can't sell the golf clubs. Oh, yeah, you're right. Skateboard. Skateboard. I don't have a skateboard. Baseball bat. You know, you could go to Craigslist right now, and for $100, you could get a hooker. You could get a hooker for $100. You could get a hooker, or you could get a top-of-the-line bike, and I could show you how to hang it in your garage so it'd be out of the way. L.O.B. is giving me a look like, don't do that, Mike. For $100. No, you can't. You absolutely... L.O.B. Really? Who knows bikes more than me? Than I do. Nobody. Nobody does. Who knows filthy good-looking better than me? For $100. I guarantee you. M1, Jeff from Poway, what was the word of the day? Ambassador.
Very well done. Very well done. Guess what, dude? You're going to see the Foo Fighters. That quickly. Boom. Hang on the line. Yeah, I want a bike. I want to ride a bike and get exercise. I think it'll be fun. I really do. It's beautiful here. It's not too hot. There's a lot of cool trails that we could go do. We could come up with bits. It'll be fun. Yeah, one time. Be friends again and stuff. Call each other back. Text each other back and stuff. Does Woods call you, Jay? Yes. Yes, he does. Does he ever call you when he doesn't necessarily have something that he's calling you about? Every time he calls me. Really? I like to chat with my friends. He does. But what do you do if there's nothing really? Just checking on you, man. Checking on you. How's everything? You good? Are we good? Everything good? You happy?
You happy? Everybody happy? When you say, are we good? It makes me think, what am I supposed to be mad about? No, no. I'm just, hey, like, are we good? Like, we meaning you. Are you good? Is everything cool with you? Anything exciting happen? Hey, there are folks that are really good at that, that love it. My wife's back on the line. Hi, honey. So the answer is no, right? I can't get a bike. Well, you know what? Actually, I think that they brought up, like, seriously a really good suggestion. Oh, no, no. Babe. No, no. Let's sell some of the stuff that you're not using honestly. And then we can get you a bike. Win-win. It is. It really is. How do we sell it? Here, eBay. No, just Craigslist eBay. Craigslist. Yeah. Super easy. Some creep gets to come to your house. I can help you, babe. Some naked guy walks through the door. You can meet him. You can meet him down at Chevron. Yeah, I can help you do it. I think it's a great idea. And then you can get, you know, a bike and all your gear. And, yeah, if Jay would help us figure out, like, a hook for the side of the garage, that would be perfect. Something out, something in is what my wife always says. Yeah, that's good. That's fair. She says it all the time, too, Mike. Get it? Trust me. Trust me. Something out, something in. I give her something to put in. Oh, wow.
Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, I'll come help you hook up in the garage. All right, honey. Yeah, I'll come hook up with you in the garage, Rebecca. Oh, boy. I think it's a great idea, babe. I love you. Yes. Bye-bye. Love you. Love you. There you go. There we go. Oh, why not? Because it won't. SG&T. Sounds good. Not true. We won't put anything on Craig's list, and nothing will ever happen with it. Here, give it to me. Okay. Let him do it. And then I'll handle it all. You can have a good old-fashioned yard sale. Just DVDs out the wazoo. Yard sales are great. More DVDs than I've ever seen. You have more DVDs than Blockbuster, pal. Yeah, that's true. I should sell it all. Yeah, man. Simplify your life. LLB gave me a t-shirt. It changed my life, Mike. You know what it says on it? What? It says Live Simple. And I looked at that shirt in the mirror and I go... Son of a bitch. I'm going to start living simple. I'm getting rid of so many clothes. I'm giving them to charity. I'm going to start living more simply. Less is more, man. Less is more. It's a good idea. It changed my life, I love you. I didn't tell you that. That's great. I'm happy for you. Thank you very much. Peace. Live simple, pal. All right. Guess what it's time for? Yes. Yes. Thank you. I did it. It's time for I'm Glad You Ask. Yeah.
This is the game where we pull out a question and ask old Uncle Jay, who's not always the most articulate fella. It's not true. Sometimes you are. To explain something to us. Uncle Jay, how does a battery work? I'm glad you asked. I wish I knew. Let's see. It is like... First of all, what is a battery? A battery is used to run different things around the house. You can use it to run a flashlight. You know those two metal things that go inside the flashlight? Yeah. That's what powers the flashlight. Think about it this way. It's almost like the little batteries are like sponges and they suck up power. So can I use a battery to clean up this juice I spilled? Yeah, it's a sponge. No, no, it's a different kind of sponge. So when I'm tired, I just put a battery in and then I can run. Unfortunately, you can't have batteries.
Your food is your battery. Food is what powers you. So I can put a food in a flashlight? No. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. It has to be copper spun around. Like pennies. Like pennies. Right. You're so smart, little Lauren. So you put pennies around stuff? You put pennies... Well, I'm glad you asked, Mikey. I'm about to put some pennies around your stuff. All right. Let's ask another one. Uncle Jay. Little Mikey. What does it mean? To be tongue-tied? Oh, I'm glad you asked. You know, sometimes when I try to say something and other people interrupt me and I don't get it outright? Oh, that's why. It's when people are rude? Tongue-tied is being rude? No, it's when other people are being rude. It makes me tongue-tied. What do you mean? You tie your tongue? So you get mad. Tongue-tied means you're mad. You flub your words or you might stumble over or combine two words together. That's a good one. Yes. You got it. Thank you. Thank you, Uncle Jay. I got another one for you, though.
What does the president do? I'm glad you asked. If you talked to Mikey, he would say nothing. Because he's not a Republican. No, because he is a Republican. No, I was talking about the president. Got it, got it, got it. The president, he makes all the big decisions for our country. So, like, in the house, in our house, who's the president? That would be me. You make all the big decisions in the house. But mommy makes all the decisions, it seems like. Together we make all the decisions. So then you're both presidents? Yes, we're co-founders of this presidential household. So ladies are presidents? They can be. Can they? When has there ever been? Has there ever been? It hasn't been yet.
And Mikey thinks that it'll never happen. I didn't say that. And he doesn't believe women can do it. I don't like Uncle Mike. I don't like Uncle Mike. I don't know what he's talking about. Woods thinks women should do the dishes. I'm glad you asked. Jay thinks all women are prostitutes. I'm glad I can finally turn this around. I think I finally started to like this. You found a way to do it. This is Ronnie. Fighting with the situation. Ron, I don't get involved in your relationship, Ron. I don't get involved in your relationship. Yo, I don't get involved in your relationship. I don't get involved in your relationship. Is it serious? I'm serious anyway. It's the first time, by the way. First time I've ever heard or seen the Jersey Shore. I can name them to you. Mike the Situation, Snooki. Snooki.
Ronnie. Ronnie? Mm-hmm. I know these people. I've never seen it. I've never heard it. It sounds just wonderful. I think he's on steroids. Yeah, he's on steroids. Oh, f***ing sick of this! Stop, stop, like it. Sick of it? Yeah! Yeah? Yeah, you want to hit me? You want to hit me? You want to hit me? You want to hit me, tough guy? F***ing do it! You want to throw my f***? Yeah, you want to throw my f***? This situation rammed his head into a wall. Yeah, bro. F*** out of here. We need to talk. Get emotional. Don't get the f*** away. No, look at me. You okay? You all right? Look at me. I'm not even playing. Just look at me. Mike bashed his head into the wall. And I could tell Mike is completely disoriented. He's opening his eyes to me, but he's giving me a blank look. This isn't funny anymore. Oh, no. It was hysterical before. Yeah, it sounded so funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's called a concussion. Right. Do you want any background on why he did that? Yes. Okay, so the girl that was like, I'm serious. It's not worth it. Her name is Sammy. And Ron is the guy that Situation's fighting with. That's her boyfriend. Those two fight nonstop. Nonstop. Ronnie and Sammy. And Mike, the Situation, rooms with them. And he wants to, like, blow his brains out because they're constantly fighting. So he lost it. And bashed his head into a wall because he couldn't stand them fighting anymore. What do they fight about? Everything. Give me an example of something. Seriously, I need to talk to you. If he talks to a girl, if he gets up too soon out of the room without taking her with him, if he's friends with somebody else in the house. Oh, this makes my heartache. It's just nerve wracking. Can't watch it. Can't watch this stuff. It's the worst. I need to talk to you. That's what she says all the time. All the time. Kill me. I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. I'm serious. I'm done talking to you. That's all you do is talk. Seriously, you're going to walk out right now. You're always talking. You're seriously going to walk out right now. Ron, think about it. If you walk out right now, that's it. I'm leaving right now. I don't even care anymore. I don't care. I don't even care. If you walk out of me, that's it. I don't even care anymore. That'd be the last time you talk to me. You're a ball breaker. I was watching live coverage.
Of Hurricane Irene. And they were in New Jersey. And the day that Hurricane Irene is due to arrive. Coincidentally. Was a day that a couple was supposed to get married. They're in their 20s. And they're very Jersey Shore. Oh boy. Now they were there. The news crews were there covering the beaches. When they noticed. Up in this building. There's people getting married. So they go and they ask. Hey, would it be okay if we covered this live on television? And they were agreeable. So they started covering their wedding. It was fascinating to me. She's holding, you know, her prepared thing. And she's like, Josh, we have been through so much. You have certainly been a challenge. Everybody laughs. Yes, it's been on steroids. They're arrested.
And I said to my wife, I go, if you say during your wedding vows, you've certainly been a challenge. What that means is there's not been one day in your relationship. And I mean, since the first day you met. Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. How you doing? I'm Josh. Yeah. Hey, how are you? There's not been one day that you haven't fought. Oh, yeah. You have fought every single day. And I said to Rebecca, I go, you think she's ever thrown anything? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Think they've ever gotten in a drunken bar fight? Your mother can't cook. Oh, Rebecca said. That's so funny. Rebecca goes. I bet it was at her house, and he complained about her mother's cooking. This gravy tastes like paste. It's disgusting. At least my mother can cook. Your mother can't cook. What does your mother cook? She hates up a pizza. Talk about my mother. Don't ever talk about my mother. Oh, let's eat up a calzone and call it a meal. With some cold Regat cheese. Tastes like a freaking Hot Pocket with Regat. My mother makes her own sauce. What does your mother do?
Tastes like paste. Disgusting. You wouldn't know paste from beep, beep. Yeah, it would. Yeah, it would. All your mother does is drink and smoke brown cigarettes. They're called Moores, okay? They're Moores cigarettes. Gross. So he starts his deal. Melissa. For so long in our relationship, I've loved you. It's the most unpoetic. It's the most non-touching. speech that I've ever heard for so long I've loved you. I can't wait to take your hand in marriage forever. Every day I promise not to stop loving you. Do you remember that time that we went down to the shore and then you had said that you love me and then I said that I love you too and that's when I knew we was going to be together forever. Remember that time
When we were making sex in the back of my IROC. I'm so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. T. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. But we did this one time when we was having sex in the IROC. But at that moment, I knew you were different. That was it for me. I know I made a lot of mistakes. But I promise you're the last girl I'm going to sleep with. Ever. As far as you know. This is it. As far as you know. So she, they go to kiss. It's the most unromantic kiss I've ever seen. It lasted half a second. And so the guy that is the news reporter goes, oh, give a better kiss than that. Oh, boy, pal. Just so uncomfortable. God, that's so uncomfortable. And so this time she gives him a kiss where she puts both hands on his face and she's really kissing him. He pulls away. He pulls away. I told you not to kiss me like that in front of my family. Oh, my God. Question. Yes. Were they tan? Oh, dude. I mean. Well, it is summer, you guys. So, cut him a break. No. No, no, no. They were not just tan. They were yellow. Oompa loompa. They were jaundiced. Jaundiced. Garfield. And I thought to myself, I'm like.
He looks so uncomfortable. Rebecca goes, he's uncomfortable because his girlfriend is watching this on live TV right now. His cell phone is ringing in his pocket right now. The publicity's stunning. I paid for it. You're getting married? What? I don't even love her. She's pregnant. What do you want from me? You stupid son of a... This is a sign of the apocalypse. Cosmetic surgeries that women are getting and wait till I tell you where. Filthy. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo's silver tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic night.
Fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita. An experience that tastes so smooth, it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Copy by 2011. Imported and bottled by 3 Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark order. Jose Cuervo Especial is a registered trademark of Tequila Cuervo La Reina. Whether it's an earthquake, wildfire, or other unforeseen event, emergencies can and do happen. Hi, this is Rick Hendricks, Director of Disaster Services with the American Red Cross. The Red Cross and SDG&E want you to know that being prepared for an emergency involves advanced preparation. Help us help you be prepared for a disaster. Storing food and supplies in your home is a great first step, but you should also have a written plan in place, a list of essential items for your family, and an evacuation route. To find out more, visit SDGE.com slash safety. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America. Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding, so see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event.
Lease a 2011 Infinity G25 Journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment. Or get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details. Hi, this is JC Thomas and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready. At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability, we've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part, too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit. And know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, visit sdge.com slash safety. This is Matthew showing his bank smartphone app to a friend. I can see my balances and a map of my banks close by. This is Patrick.
Showing Chase's mobile app to a friend. I can check my balances, find a Chase branch close by, transfer funds, deposit a check using my smartphone. Matthew. Um, did I mention the bank locator thing? Patrick. I can pay my bills. I can even send money to almost anyone with an email address. Matthew. Again. See, look. Branches. On a map. On my phone. With access to innovative technology like our award-winning Chase mobile app. including Chase QuickPay and Chase QuickDeposit, plus more branches coming soon to San Diego. Chase has you covered. Visit Chase.com slash forward to download the Chase mobile app. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Chase QuickDeposit available on select smartphones, accounts, and subject to eligibility. Deposits subject to verification, limits, and restrictions. Chase QuickPay requires one Chase checking account holder on both persons in the U.S. bank account. Other limitations apply message and data rates from your service provider may apply. J.P. Morgan, Chase Bank, and a member of DIC. Life's better with baseball. Look, it's a fact that a really impressive pitcher needs to understand the engineering and aerodynamic principles at work while a baseball is in flight. I mean, trajectory, rotational forces, the dynamics of turbulent airflow. It's crazy. So that's when you turn to Scanalysis for laser-sharp insight and postgame analysis. Bob Scanlon, only on the Saquon Casino Postgame Show. The Padres are on the road, live from Los Angeles, 645 Monday. From the remotest corners of East County.
to the splendor of the silver strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. I am Darla. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. I've always told people about Fresh and Easy. I tell them all the fresh stuff I get. I'll come in here and I'll see something else. Mmm, that looks interesting. Let me try it. As my husband said, I'm a guinea pig. I've never had a Fresh and Easy product that I didn't like. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Darla, for helping us offer low prices. Choose from a variety of our pastas for just $0.99 and assorted Fresh and Easy pasta sauces for only $1.99. Hey, it's Mikey for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. Everyone thinks shades when you hear that, but a lot of people don't think of the optical part. I'm talking about prescriptions with a lot of different frames to choose from and three easy locations. Sports Arena. It's right behind the Sports Arena. Just drive down Hancock, veer to the right, on to Kurtz. They're also in Kearney Mesa at the corner of Balboa and Convoy and also the La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. It is the easiest place to get your stuff done as long as the sun keeps shining.
That's sunglassoptical.com. The hardest decisions are often the result of the best options. So how do you choose between the 2011 IIHS Top Safety Pick Dodge Journey that gets up to 26 mpg highway and the Dodge Grand Caravan with industry-exclusive super stow-and-go seating and best-in-class cargo capacity? Or between the Dodge Durango with best-in-class horsepower towing and driving range and the Dodge Charger with available best-in-class 370 horsepower and 27 mpg highway? Well, the choices just got easier. Hurry in for the best deals of the year at the Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram Summer Clearance Event. These offers absolutely end Labor Day. Lease the 2011 Charger Rally for $269 a month for 39 months with $29.99 due at signing for well-qualified current, less easy competitive vehicles. Tax title and license extra. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy four-cylinder front-wheel drive based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped for towing. Call 1-888-4-DODGE for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. No turn-in of current lease is required. Take delivery by 9611. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego.
This report is brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo. Call 877-Wawanisa, or you can go to WawanisaUS.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. On the 805 northbound before Claremont Mesa Boulevard, an accident on the right shoulder. You're backed up to Home Avenue. 15 northbound via Rancho Parkway, a disabled vehicle. Looks like it's in the middle of lanes, but it's not a delay around there. They probably moved it over to the right shoulder. Now, on the 805 northbound before Sorrento Valley Boulevard, we have a ladder over in the middle lanes. This report brought to you by Rhodes Bacon Serve, Rhodes Warm and Serve, Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls, All Natural, and 100% Whole Grain. Freezer to table in 12 minutes or less. Rhodes Warm and Serve Rolls in your grocer's freezer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from there. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show Live. Let's make sure you know it.
There is very, very heavy flooding in Vermont from Hurricane Irene. And I mean heavy flooding. The worst they've seen in 100 years, they're saying. Watch out for your kids because one of the deals with kids is that 5,200 kids fall out of windows in the U.S. every year. Now, the good news is only 1% of those are fatal falls because they usually happen for the first or second story window. But still important for you to know. so that you make sure that those are secure. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? A couple quick baseball stories for you. The Padres were swept in Arizona, losing yesterday 6-1. California, the Huntington Beach team won the Little League World Series 2-1 over Japan. And the finest semi-pro baseball team in this county had a big win yesterday, 24-7. That's the Tipsy Crows. Oh. Oh, wow. Yeah. 24-7 we won. I know. It's a shocking score, isn't it? She didn't hear it. 24-7. 24-7. Tipsy Crows. We won. I heard this morning. Huh. Big win. Big win for us. Congratulations. Thank you very much. We had lost our first game of the year, but we're back, and we're on a streak. It's Woodsy's adult little league team. Semi-pro baseball team. Semi-professional. Got it. Don't trivialize it.
Leave it to Beaver. It seems more like you're building it up than he's trivialized. Let's trivialize. Well, I just stumbled over my words. Isolated. Now, this story to me is, you know, it's one of those deals I've said, this is what we are taught. We get taught something by the culture and we go with it. The number of women getting, quote, designer, Vagina surgeries. Yes. Again? Has gone up 500% since 2001. The average age of the woman, 23 years of age. Put a drawstring in. Son of a gun. Son of a gun, Mike. Son of a gun. Now, the main reason that they are having what they call labiaplasty, it's what it's called.
is because they are trying to look like porn stars. Now, that means that it just wasn't good enough. We had to make them look like porn stars. What do you mean? All right. Don't they make wiener lengthener pills, too, for men? I mean, everybody wants, you know, a better package than what they got. Well, yeah, but... I mean, that body part, you don't really have to do anything to that body part. And if you do do something to that body part, the only reason that you're doing that is because you've been taught that that's what guys want. That isn't necessarily what guys want. But 500% of women since 2001 say it is. I don't have a problem with it. You don't have a problem with it? No.
And I don't have one, so it's none of my business what a young lady chooses to do to it. Isn't it? If she wants to make it look better, have a ball. Well, what do you mean, man, I don't want to get too graphic. It's a lot that I want to say. Yeah, I'm not sure how to say it. Better. Can you say it like a grown-up? No jokes, Jay. I don't know if I can. It's just... You don't know if you can say it in a grown-up way? Well, here, I'll say it in a grown-up way. No, no, no, no, no. Guaranteed. Promise you. Go ahead. Oh, God. No, forget it. I'm bracing myself. I'm bracing myself. I think I know what you guys are trying to say. What? You're trying to say that it isn't attractive if there's too much to it. Yes. No, that's not what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking. And I say the only reason that you think that is because of pornography. I was thinking... How can you... There's no way to say that. What's in better shape? A new bike or a used bike?
You're talking about something different, though, aren't you? No, I'm talking about, do you want the used bike to be the best model for what you want your bike to look like? Oh, yeah. She makes a good point. But, hey, wait, wait, wait. You understand, though, L.O.B., I'm not, like, this isn't my theory. This is the data. Right. I know. The data says that that's why women are doing it. But maybe they should realize that that's the wrong muse. Yeah. You know? Well, I think that they think that it's an attractive muse. Yeah. I like them used. I've ridden a lot of bikes. As far as what it looks like. I like riding bikes. I'll just say that right now. New or used. I would want a new bike where everything's like tightened up. No, it's fun. All bikes are fun. Not all bikes. It's not all riding. Not all bikes are fun. Well, just FYI. All right. Oh, boy. Just, you know, so I've heard and seen. Allegedly. I don't know. And the only reason... You're killing me. I mean, you bring this story, I expect me to be mature. Really? Come on. It's hard. Don't you have a mature take on it? No, I don't. You don't have one mature take? My mature take is I say if they want to do that, then let them do it. I think your only problem with it, this is me projecting on you, is that they said they're doing it to look like porn stars. I think that's your only problem with it. It's cosmetic surgery. Wait, wait, wait. My problem with it is the fact. It's a fact. That's a fact. For sure.
But if it's cosmetic surgery, okay, that is going to make them feel better about themselves and the way that they look. But the only reason that they're doing it is because porno has told them that they're doing it, that they got something wrong. I bet you if you pulled, let's say a thousand women did it, there'd be a substantial number of them that said, oh, I did it for that reason. But there would be others that said they did it for other reasons. Maybe. Right. But the vast majority of the 500%. I'll give you that. That's what the report's about. And it's the same... Now, I believe that's the same thing as boob jobs, by the way. I think that boob jobs are popular because chicks want to look like what they see in the movies. But those are way more visual. Yeah. Way more visual. Yeah, way more. That's a little more private. I know. I mean, like... But there's a reason for it. And the reason... It's not just porn stars, though. It's every celebrity, save for a handful of them. Yeah, it's like face jobs or... Brow lifts or whatever. It's the fountain of youth. Yeah, you just want to look young. You don't want knee shooters. Here's some odds for you. The odds of finding out your kid's a genius, 250 to 1. Most of us are not going to have a genius kid. That's too bad. Odds of catching a ball at a major league ball game. 1 in 563.
That's assuming that there's a girl that's not next to you talking your ear off. That's true. Which is 99% of the time the case if you take your girl to a game. Odds of becoming a pro athlete? One in 10,000. Actually, Woods, almost exactly double. Oh, wow. One in every 22,000 people will become a professional. Isn't that so funny, too, man? If you went through the college ranks of college football players, how many guys think that there's no question that they're going pro? Odds of winning an Academy Award are one in 11,500 people. So you better shot at that than being a pro athlete. Yeah. So maybe all those dads out there trying to push your kids into football. Push them into making movies. Let's see. The odds of getting a Royal Flush in poker. Wow. One. And by the way, on the first five cards dealt. So boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I deal you out. Right from the beginning, I'd deal you out a royal flush. The odds of that happening are 1 in 649,740. Are people good at poker by being good at math and knowing odds? That plays a little bit of a role in it. Is it more luck? No, it's about strategy. Odds of becoming the President of the United States are 1 in every 10 million.
Odds of winning the California lottery are one in every 13 million. Yet, when we buy a lottery ticket, we do believe that we will win it. This is the one. In fact, we plan what we're going to do when we win the lottery. Yes. What we're going to do with the money. I plan how I'm going to react, who I'm going to thank first. Right. Let's see. The chance that the Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next hundred years. One in 5,000. I saw something the other day and I thought about it and I was like, well, what if that happened on an ocean level? They were showing a lake in South America. The lake was a very, very big lake. And at the bottom of the lake, there was a volcano. And very slowly, there was some methane and carbon monoxide leaking from the Earth's.
crust into the bottom of the lake. Now, when it leaked into the lake, it formed a layer on the bottom of the lake, okay? And what it did was it made it all very unstable. And there was a landslide and all of these thousands of pounds of boulders fell into that carbon monoxide and it created a gigantic explosion like when you shake up a bottle and go and open it up. And so what that did was it sent a giant plume slash ball of poisonous gas up over this mountain and into a village where it killed 1,500 people. Now, I thought that the only way that what triggered it, the actual, you know, the wick that got lit was the rocks making contact with all those gases.
I thought, you know, we got volcanoes under the water that are doing stuff like that. Imagine if there was a big underwater landslide. Could that happen? Could it happen here? Yeah. Could it happen in the ocean? Another weird thing I heard about the ocean. This will creep you out. Is there anything creepier than deep, dark ocean? No. Nothing. Nothing. I mean, deep, dark ocean is creepier than deep, dark space. Deep, dark ocean. The temperature. The absolute lack of light. Silence. The silence of it. And the unknown. Something that just whizzes by you and moves the water. Yes. A bubble. You see a bubble? Oh, my God. Well, here's the deal. In the Atlantic Ocean, there's a trench that runs all through the Atlantic Ocean, goes all the way up into Iceland where there's a bunch of volcanoes. And this trench that runs in the Atlantic Ocean. is so deep that if you were to drain all the water from the ocean, it would be four times deeper than the Grand Canyon, which is four miles. Four miles. Now, imagine the next time that you're in your car, resetting your odometer for four miles, and imagine that that's the depth at which this canyon is. They said that the only way to view it,
ocean water were drained from it would be by airplane. That's how deep it is. Now, first you have to get down to the depth of the ocean's floor. And then once you get there, it's four miles deeper than that. Isn't that just creepy? I mean, it's just so creepy that stuff lives there. Probably the weirdest things down there that we don't even know exist. Absolutely. Eight-headed fish. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. So you give me your thoughts on this. If you play fantasy football, which is a billion-dollar industry in this country, maybe you can relate to this. And I want to hear from you. 570-1949. Woods and I had a bit of a disagreement. And Woods will fiercely defend this, okay? We need to go to court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to the court. We'll go to court. We've got to go to court on this one. Present your case. For your made-up game. Easy call, dude. I get called out all the time for that. Now, yesterday we did a fantasy football draft. We did it online. Now, we'd never done it online before. Our commissioner, good guy. By the way,
Any commissioner of a fantasy football league, you basically signed up to have people throw things at you. And a part-time job. It's a part-time job. It's a thankless, part-time job where really you might as well sign up to just be abused. Yes. Okay? So we got a guy here who's one of the nicest people I've ever met. He's our commissioner. We're going to do this thing online. Our promotion director, Adam. Is out of town. Jay's boyfriend. Jay's boyfriend is out of town right now. And so what he had to do was rank the players that he would like to draft. It's called a pre-rank. Yes. And then the computer would select those players if they were available. Correct. Okay. Now we start the draft and there's something wrong. And it is trying to draft a player that obviously isn't going to be drafted until much, much later. And so there's a problem. Right.
The consensus in the chat room of 12 players, the consensus was, oh, well, you snooze, you lose. You're not here. It ain't working. And the commissioner of the league stopped the draft and said, hey, guys, let's be fair to this person. We don't want him to get back and realize that he just drafted Jamarcus Russell. OK, let's be nice here. And so the commissioner had draft materials himself and selected LaShawn McCoy. Fifth pick. Woods picked sixth, and that's who he wanted. Yeah, of course I did. Of course I did. And whose fifth pick? The guy that was on vacation. Right. Can I ask a question? Yes. Would Adam have picked that player? Don't know.
Yes. No, you don't know. It's hard to know. Chris Johnson was ahead of him. Maurice Jones-Drew was right below him. Yes. He may have picked somebody right in that area. But I guess the question is, well, what's the right thing to do? And by the way, when I saw the goofy player taken, I started laughing. Me too. I was like, oh, well. Yeah. Sucks to be you. Right. But then our commissioner, being a fair guy. Which is fine. Which is fine. Decides, hey, let's. Let's not be jerks here. And I thought, yeah, it's probably the right thing to do. Woods, on the other hand, wanted Adam to end up... Not with a turd. Not with a turd. My problem is this. Don't agree to a draft time and then go out of town. Don't say, I'm in for the online draft, guys. And then you don't show up and then somebody gets to pick for you the pick that I wanted. And I'm sitting there going... Hmm, this guy has got a pina colada in his hand right now. He's watching the waves roll in. He's not just out of town. So don't agree to that time. Say, you know what? I'm going to be out of town. We'll do it when I get back. It's probably like herding cats, getting all you guys to be able to be on a phone call at the same time, on the computer at the same time. Well, and not only that, but it's kind of, if I could use the analogy, it's kind of like this. You say, hey, listen, I'm going to be out of town, and so I'm going to set my timer up on my fish tank to feed my fish. Right.
And you leave town and there's something broken with that device. Right. And your fish are starving. Right. And your buddies are like, oh, well, if you really cared about your fish, you wouldn't go on vacation. Sorry. Hold up. Now, we don't know. I don't know for a fact if Adam actually pre-ranked his players. Do you? Yeah. Do you know for a fact? No, but I'm using common sense. If you're right, then what that means is that this was Adam's thinking. I don't care about anything. Somebody can do the job for me. He's not that guy. He ain't. Come on. We'll see. We'll see. Will you apologize to him? No. He already sent an email this morning bitching about his players. Already. There was already an email. He goes, there are... Three white receivers in the entire NFL, and I got all three of them on my draft. I think he was making a joke. I don't think he was. The guy's already complaining. The guy's got a drink in his hand. Apparently. Apparently, he's got internet. He's on a good vacation. Oh, no. I care less. Well, he has internet. But if you sign up for a draft time and you're not there, hey, man. Puff. I agree with you. Puff cookies, man. Weird. M1 Herald from San Marcos. Yeah, I'm the commissioner of my league.
And I'm on Woodside. If dude ain't there or if you ain't online, you ain't getting what you want. Sorry. That's 101, dude. Then all he had to say is, well, hey, then let's not do it while I'm gone. You all would have had to wait. Exactly. But he didn't. Exactly. There's no hurry. I wouldn't have wanted to wait. September 11th is the opening game, pal. What's the date today? The 29th. Plenty of time. I don't want to wait. Hey, I don't want to wait either. But if everybody can't be there, if you say I'm going to be there online or not, Or pre-ranked, you have to take into account that something may go wrong and you get screwed. Can I ask you a question, Vince? Yeah. What if it were you? How would you feel you come back and you got Antonio Gates with your first pick? Oh, I'd be furious. I wouldn't pay, which is what we were worried about Adam not doing. But again, it goes back to the fact of he said he was going to be there for the online draft or pre-rank his players, and he wasn't. Don't. commit to something you can't do. When did you guys decide on the draft? A long time ago. A string of emails. And there was a problem. There was a problem. There was a problem with the system. But Woods wanted him to suffer for the problem. He's like, I did not want him to suffer. I think we should have stopped it and done it over. There you go. We could have stopped. We could have stopped. We should have stopped. We should have stopped. Figured out the problem. Then protest. When he gets back into town, redo it. Redo the draft. Oh, I'd be in on that. Are you serious? Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah.
But see, now we know who everybody has and who everybody wants. I mean, it could get pretty gnarly. It would be the ugliest situation. Listen, I'm fine with it. I got a good team. But I'm just saying, happy birthday, pal. Woods kept writing that in the chat room. Happy birthday, Adam. Every pick. Happy birthday. Every pick. Well, you know if he does well all season, you're going to be like, well. Oh. What if he beats me in a game? When the commissioner came for you. Woods will flip out. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. There is a nude beach that is experiencing a cover-up, and we will explain. Hang on. Hey, it's Hillary, and today at noon on FM 94.9, we're doing Desert Island Discs. So what three records would you have to have with you if you were stranded on a deserted island? Are you the Bob Marley sublime Johnny Cash type? Or wouldn't Arcade Fire Radiohead James Addiction Trio float your boat or your raft? I don't care if you pick Black Flag, Melt Banana, and Celine Dion.
All right, let's not go that far. Tell us your three favorite records now at fm949sd.com and listen today at noon. Desert Island Discs on FM 94.9. Got to tell you about what's going on with the GoPhone. The GoPhone is just amazing. The GoPhone Unlimited from AT&T. If you are looking for a real easy plan, Jay, I can hear you. If you're looking for a real easy plan, this is it. unlimited talk text and web for just 50 bucks a month it's great no annual contract no credit check it's the best plus the phone itself is a really good phone so uh try it out now go phone it's unlimited talk unlimited text and web for 50 bucks a month and it's very easy to get in on all you got to do is go into a local at&t store or you can check them out online att.com slash GoPhone, that's another way to do it. Or you can call this number, 1-800-GO-PHONE. It's the GoPhone Unlimited, 50 bucks, and that gets you unlimited talk and text. Eligible device and minimum account balance required. Data package required for smartphones. Coverage not available everywhere. Other restrictions and conditions apply. See store for details. It's the end of the model year, and Nissan is laying it all on the line.
The bottom line sales event is back with better availability than Honda or Toyota. So you can save now. Get the bottom line with 0% APR financing on Altima or get 1500 cash back on Sentra. Get bottom line prices like 0% on the reliable Altima or 1500 back on the roomy Sentra. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars, great offers, equals more savings. And that's the bottom line. This event ends August 31st. Hurry in today. Financing for 60 months, $16.67 per month per thousand borrowed. Cash back when purchased for new dealer stock. Call 1-888-858-8319 for offer and inventory details. Ends 831-11. The future is a potentially thrilling and wonderful place full of all sorts of automatic ways to make our lives easier. Everything from automatic dog-pitting clocks to auto jetpack washers to sock fold-o-matics. It's going to be great. But until then, it's good to know that you can start saving money automatically today. When you're ready to bring your savings into the 21st century at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With the Way to Save Savings account exclusively from Wells Fargo, you can save money automatically.
If you choose our save-as-you-go option, we'll automatically transfer $1 from your Wells Fargo checking account to your Way to Save account when you make a debit card purchase, pay a bill with Wells Fargo Online Bill Pay, or make an automatic payment. You can also set up monthly automatic transfers to grow your savings faster. With a Way to Save account, you also gain access to Wells Fargo Online Banking, online savings tools, and Wells Fargo Mobile Banking. To learn more about how you can get ahead with your savings with our Way to Save account, stop by Wells Fargo today. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. Good morning. Welcome to McDonald's. First good thing I've heard all day. But it's only 7.30 a.m. I know, and I already whacked my head, broke my phone, and got a parking ticket. So I'm going to need to order quite a few things. That should make you feel better, sir. How about an order of sausage? Oh, and an order of bacon, scrambled eggs, three hotcakes, well, hash browns for sure. Um, sir? Oh, I'm not done. But all of that is on the deluxe breakfast platter, and it's now just $3.99. Seriously? Set your mornings right with McDonald's deluxe.
breakfast platter, three golden hotcakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, sausage, an English muffin, and more. All for just $3.99. The simple joy of every flavor of breakfast. Sorry you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Technically, I fell out of bed and the window. Breakfast served during breakfast hours only. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's fruit and maple oatmeal made with whole grain rolled oats, tangy cranberries, plump raisins, and fresh apples, all blended with brown sugar and a touch of cream. Available all day long at McDonald's. Many locations now open 24 hours. The weekend might be over, but the savings are going on and on at Vons. Let your weekly Vons ad be your guide. You'll find great deals that help you plan your shopping and delicious ideas for meal planning. plus stock up prices on home essentials. You'll find it all in your weekly Vons ad. Shop Vons today to pick up these outstanding Vons Club specials, like Safeway Kitchen Soft Honey Wheat or White Breads for only $2.99 each, 22-ounce size, selected varieties. And Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh Lunch Meat is just $3.99 each, selected varieties. And it's back to school time at Vons. Now through September 13th, look for school bus tags on items throughout the store. Use Vons Club at checkout.
Then choose a local school to receive 10% of the price of the items you buy. Simple as that. With 10% of the price of selected items going to the school of your choice, plus the fantastic low prices you can count on, there's never been a better time to shop at Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. This is the sound of Jim creating an online store for his business. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Access denied. What is this? This is David building his online store with Chase's new Instant Storefront. And move that over there. Jim. Oh, what did I just do? David. That was easy. Introducing Instant Storefront, an all-new e-commerce solution that gives small business owners everything they need to sell products online. And best of all, customer payments can be deposited into your Chase business checking account, often on the next business day. So you can reach more customers and keep your cash flow. Act now and try Instant Storefront free for three months. Visit chase.com slash storefront to get started. Instant Storefront. Take a step forward and Chase what matters. Merchant Services Agreement with Chase Payment Tech and Chase Business Checking Account required and subject to approval. Restrictions apply. Offer expires September 30, 2011 and applies to kiosk package only. See chase.com slash storefront for complete details. J.P. Morgan, Chase Bank, any member of GIC. We should have bought rights to the word craftsmanship before it became so overused. Hire lawyers to protect it.
And keep it true. Like the true craftsmanship of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. With an all-new world-class interior, best-in-class 4x4 capability, and a powerful new 290-horsepower V6. Legally, we may not own the word craftsmanship, but Grand Cherokee continues to own what it stands for. Take advantage of the best deals of the year now during the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event. Hurry. These offers absolutely end Labor Day. Lease Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $2.99 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do it signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Visit your SoCal Jeep dealer. Based on automotive news segmentation, call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residence here. Restricts in supply. No turn-in of current leases required. Take delivery by 9-6. Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. This Sunday, it's a free concert with legendary singer-songwriter Ben Harper. And the Suds will be flowing once again. The last beer fest of the season. It's all free with racetrack admission. 18 and up concerts. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Kind of sneeze. And Jake. I know I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9.
Jay likes to print out the text messages that are challenging to me. And I don't understand this one. But I'll read it. It says, Mikey, we are taught to fear everything. And you are a facilitator and encourage this practice every week and every day. 99% of what you talk about is fearing what others may think of you. It says if you, but I know he means of you. You as a Christian should know better. I challenge you to talk about this. Well, and that's M1 Dan. I just don't understand. I would love to. Call in and explain. Yeah, Dan, call in and explain because I just don't understand. I'd be more than willing to talk about it. I just, I don't get it. 5701-949. It was like, to me, that was like reading. Sanskrit. Yeah, I don't understand it. What was your selection process, Jay, when you saw that? Oh, I thought about religion, so I thought I'd just stick it to it. No, I just figured, you know, Mike, you're God. Hey, you're God. I feel like if somebody's like that wound up about some email, that we should at least address it either. Oh, yeah, I'd love it. Well, yeah, I just don't understand it. Everybody else is just talking about wonky vaginas and stuff like that, so. Got it. Wonky. Wonky.
Well, I'm trying to think of, what was I talking about? Do you think he's talking about that? Yeah, maybe our culture with the plastic surgery and the wonky vaginas. Yeah, that doesn't make me, you know, that's not a fear. I don't get the fear part either. People are afraid of stuff, and then you as a facilitator, because you're on the radio, are saying what? To be afraid of stuff? Help us out, Dan. Come on, Dan. Yeah, it's cryptic. Yeah, I don't understand. I thought you said I was all right, Spider, but you're not. Maybe not. Let's see. This weekend, L.O.B. was finally off house arrest. She was able to exercise after her eye surgery. Yes. And her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, woke up and they rode their bikes five miles down the coast, then ran three miles and then slammed. Easy big time. Wow. Self-blazer. Self-glazer, by the way. There's nothing else to write about besides all the great stuff I did. There you go. Taking a page out of Jay's book. Then she went home, took a shower, and... That was very fast. Yeah. I mean, like, why? Barely had a... Yeah, no. It's like Billy the Kid. Could have gone either way, so I took a... Oh, wow. Took a shower. Test me. Ready?
You know those cartoons that have the bubbles above the head? Thought bubble. Yeah, thought bubble. Imagine J's. Sex. Sex. Surfing. Skating. Jasper. Sex. Kim. Kim. Breasts. Looking, but not touching. Touching, but not looking. Touching, touching, touching. Sex. Mike. God. Religion. Fat. Woods. Fat. Breasts. Insults. Nobody draw a picture of Jay with all those thought bubbles. Careful you have M1 Animator. M1 Animator, right? Yeah, there's a new idea. 570-1949 is the number. Let's see. Drunken burglar's been arrested. He made a mistake trying to break into the sheriff's house. Crooked sheriff's house. Crooked sheriff. Turns out he's a crook sheriff. And the guy called 911 on himself because he was afraid. Suspect was drunk, had a blood alcohol content of more than four times the legal limit, and is now in quite a bit of trouble. Imagine if he called 911 and it forwards to the sheriff's office. He's standing in his living room. There's this guy.
The nude beach thing is apparently. Oh, and by the way, somebody wanted me to say Black's Beach right now. They're ripping people off. Some girl wrote us and said that her brother's car got stolen while he was surfing. And so if you surf around there or if you're a nudist. Sex perfect. Lock up your van. Put it in your pockets. Oh, wait. They're watching you hide the keys is what the trick is. Really? That's what they're doing. You can get the little hitch lock that you can put your key inside of, or most wetsuits have a place to put a key in. So when I go to surf and I throw my keys on my seat, it's probably not a good idea for me. Oh, my. God. Even after what happened to us? They're probably better off in the car, though, than hidden on your wheel. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Yes. That's like the boy that doesn't learn. We got robbed. Who are you talking to, dude? Oh, man. Well, anyway, here's the thing. San Onofre State Beach, Trail 6. Apparently, for decades, that's where nudies like to go. They know that it's isolated.
It's a place that they go. It's just north of Camp Pendleton. And the policy up there has been, you know, don't ask, don't tell. Just go up there and be naked, whatever. And now, apparently, they're trying to cover all that up. So many people are doing it, and it's not legal. And they're getting in trouble for it. The park rangers started sighting people. That's your job? You're a park ranger just walking up to naked old guys? Have you seen my wiener? I see it right now, sir. You're getting a ticket. Mr. Isbell, please tuck that away. Brown. Oh, gosh, Jay. You're on one today. Just roll that back up. Put those lobster claws away and just get the hell out of here. Let's see. Plane landed on the highway in Napa. Didn't have any place to land. It's 1230 in the afternoon. Didn't know where else to land. They had to land it right where they were. Ended up being on Highway 29. You ever have, that's one of my irrational fears sometimes. Oh, yeah. A plane might land. Yeah. I mean, there's no reason for it. You see it flying low. You're like, that plane's too low. Yeah, it's way too low. Everyone, it's too low. You ever see a plane, there's nothing wrong with it, but you imagine in your head, oh my gosh, something's wrong. I hate to even admit it, but I've had dreams of landing on a street.
Yeah, a couple times, and it skeeves me out every time to fly. We were out in the surf just a few days ago, and a plane came around the corner at Swami's, and it was 30 feet off the ocean. Oh, my God. How big a plane? And it was banking. It was a single engine, but it was the wing that goes under, under the fuselage, and then it had the wheels that would go up inside of it. So it was a performance, and it was just banked, and it was like, and it flew by. Everybody just stopped. I wonder if it was a bad, like a young pilot that doesn't know what they're doing. It's probably like a bad fuselage. Yes, he said fuselage incorrectly. I wasn't going to point it out. Thank you, Mike. You know what I mean? I know who my friends are. Goodness. It's a fuselage. Fuselage. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Badges aren't given. They're earned. Through strength, like the available 390-horsepower Hemi engine that gets up to 20 MPG highway, and through dedication with a five-year, 100,000-mile powertrain warranty. Badges every Ram truck has worn for over 30 years. Drive home your own badge of honor today at the Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, and Ram summer clearance event. But you better hurry. These deals absolutely end Labor Day.
Get a low-mileage lease on Ram Quad Cab Bighorn 4x2 for $199 a month for 39 months with $37.28 due at signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Stop by California's Truck Stop. Your Ram dealer. Hurry. Offer ends soon. EPA estimated fuel economy 1500 4x2 Hemi V8. See dealer for copy of limited warranty. Call 877-RAM-5722 for lease details. Offer requires dealer contribution and lease through Ally. 25 cent charge for each mile over 32,500 miles. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 9-6. Who has the best back to school event in the business? Deep does. Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does.
Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Fiskar scissors, just $1. 12-pack paper made mechanical pencils, just $1. Pencil box, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Expires 9-3. Pencil box and scissors, limit 5. Pencils, limit 3. I'm at an outdoor concert, and I'm stuck on blanket duty. Are those seats taken? Oh, yeah, someone's sitting there. I'm waiting for my friends to bring me back a Coke from concessions. Hey, can we sit here? Sorry, occupied. Anyway, it's really hot, and I'm really thirsty, and it's kind of hard work fending off all these people. Hey, is this seat taken? Sorry. Oh, you've got a Coke. Well, pull up some blanket. Let's crack that open. Uh, could I sit down? I've got a Coke, too. Yes, and yes. Sit down. Hey, we're back with the Coke. Um, who are these people on our blanket? Uh, they had Coke.
Figured we could squish? Every precious moment of summertime should be enjoyed down to the very last drop, just like a refreshing Coca-Cola. So grab your friends and grab a 12-pack of Coke for just $4 for $11 at Ralph's, at the beach, the mall, the game, or whatever. When you're out enjoying all the fun that summer has to offer, stay refreshed with an ice-cold Coke. Coca-Cola. Open happiness. Summer is a time to kick back and relax. Unless you're an engineer for Mercedes-Benz. For them, there is no R&R. Only R&D. And they've been engineering their vehicles the same tireless way for 125 summers. It's a dedication to craftsmanship you can feel behind the wheel of the 2011 E-Class sedan. A vehicle so advanced it can alert you when veering from your lane or even when driving drowsy. For one month only, come to the Mercedes-Benz Summer Event and lease the exceptionally engineered E350 Sport Sedan, an IIHS Top Safety Pick, for just $589 a month for 33 months with $4,684 due at signing.
So hurry in before the event ends August 31st. Available only to qualify customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through August 31st, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Owen Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz at Escondido. This is the sound of Jim's Chase Mortgage. This is the sound of Sean's Chase Mortgage. And this is the sound of Nancy's Chase Mortgage. That's because Chase checking customers can earn cash back on their mortgage. That's money to spend on whatever you want. A new lawnmower. A new grill for the backyard. Even some new golf clubs. Or maybe just lessons. Simply get a new Chase Mortgage or refinance your loan and sign up for automatic payments to start getting cash back. Up to $500 annually for the life of the program, which could add up to thousands over time. Stop into a branch today or go to chase.com slash mortgage cash back to learn more about our great rates and to find out how your mortgage can start paying you back.
Mortgage cash back only from Chase. Chase, what matters. All home lending products are subject to credit and property approval. A Chase personal checking account required with automatic mortgage payments. This program is not available in all states. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does! Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hard-to-find calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Fiskar Scissors, just $1. 12-pack paper made mechanical pencils, just $1. Pencil box, one cent. That's right, one cent. It's the back-to-school event at Office Depot. Don't be late. Expires 9-3. Pencil box and scissors limit 5. Pencils limit 3. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW. Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award. A fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you.
Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America. Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding, so see your Infiniti retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infinity G25 Journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment. Or get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 831-11. See retailer for details. Go to Burger King now to experience the flavor of the all-new California Whopper sandwich. Enjoy the irresistible union of cool, refreshing guacamole and delicious fire-grilled beef. Add sizzling bacon and Swiss, and behold the complex combination of boldness and full-flavored goodness. Limited time only at participating restaurants. I've never been so happy. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be. Woods. That's why I don't eat that.
funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Cosby. Did it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad on FM 94.9. Guy in Arizona. He was trying to sneak boa constrictors into the country in his pants. I do that every day. He was 22 years old. He's from Mesa. This was back on July 30th. He's got a pet store called Predators Reptile Center and surveillance cameras caught him shoving several baby albino boa constrictors, which is what Jay asked. Awfully big for a baby. I was going to say pretty small for a baby. Definitely albino.
Definitely albino. It was just gigantic. Then he came back later that night, and he stole some more. Afterwards, he went to a different pet store and traded them for $175 in cash and a big reptile tank. So he's been caught, and he's facing theft charges for stealing boa constrictors in his pants. Wow. That's a big gamble. Yeah. Keith Richards' memoir? Yeah, I read it. Did you like it? Loved it. Sold over a million copies, buddy. I believe it. It's freaking fantastic. Is it? Yeah, get through the beginning part where he talks about his growing up, because who cares? That's always the worst part. Get to where he joins the Rolling Stones. I mean, the thing is, it's war and peace. It's thick, dude. I was on our fan page this morning asking if anybody knows a stenographer. Because I know people that have written books, and in some cases...
What they've done is they've hired a stenographer and they're better orators than they are writers. Right. So they say it and the person, they type it out. And I talked to my wife about it. She said, hey, listen, as long as it doesn't get in the way of Saturdays and spending time with the family, have at it. Really? You know, write the book. Yes. Because I've wanted to do this for a while, but I just haven't had the time. So I'm thinking I'm going to write this book. Can I write the foreword? No. And so I'm going. You're really forcing that forward. He really is. Cool, man. I'm thinking about it, and I'm thinking kind of what you're saying, Woods. Maybe I leave out the stuff when I'm a kid, but there's a lot of good. Oh, no, no, no, no. Dude, things that happened to you when you were a kid were interesting. Well, and it's made you who you are. Keith Richards was like, I lived in Oxford, Derbyshire. I went to music school. I got kicked out and I went to this. And then I found my first Chuck Berry record. It changed my life. I heard my ding-a-ling and I went crazy. It should be the shortest chapter of all biographies. The kid stuff? Unless there was really crazy stuff that happened when you were a kid. Which is my deal. Crazy stuff. I mean, I think a book...
about your life would be absolutely riveting and i would like to write the forward on it yeah no you've made that you've made that pretty pretty clear okay if i can't do the forward can i at least do the back where i'm like this book was gripping can i get one of those a quote a quote yes i can yes this book was gripping stephen r wood friend of the author the friend of the author no critic no critical skills whatsoever Not a literary critic. Stephen R. Woods. What was the school? Loyola. Loyola University. English major. English major, Loyola University. Will you thank me in the beginning part? You'll be mentioned several times. Don't worry about it. Will you say, I want, besides Rebecca and Jake and Luke and Ryan, Mom and Dad and Steve and Sam and the whole bit, my friend Woods? Yes. Yes. I'm sure. I've always wanted to be in the liner notes of a record and in a book. I thought you were in that Fred's Hotel thing. Phoenix of the Fred. Yeah, you have a friend that wrote a book, and it was called the... Hotel Fred. Hotel of the Fred Phoenix. It was called The Phoenix. It was called My Summer in Phoenix at the Hotel Fred. In a trailer. It was called The Phoenix of the Hotel Fred. It was my former boss. He was my mentor. And Woods talked me in.
To having him as a guest on the show. Well, he was doing a book tour across the country. In his F-150. With a thing attached to it. But Woods told me that it was a tour bus. Well, that's what I was told. I had been told that it was going to be this big, grateful dead tour bus. It was a U-Haul hitch. Correct. It was a U-Haul hitch to an F-150. Correct. I think I still have a box of books if you guys want one. It helped a lot of people. He was a recruiter. Now, by a lot? I know of a few M1s that really liked the book. That's a true statement. Really? That's a true statement. Okay, so Woods says, can we have Mario Marquez? Mateo. Mateo. Mateo Marquez, my old boss, can we have him on the show? And I said, well, what has he done? And he goes, well, he just wrote a really riveting book called The Phoenix of the Hotel Freds. And I said, what is it? What's the idea? And he says, well, it's about all of the things that he's been through. I said, what has he been through? Oh, dude, he's been through so many things. It's just unbelievable.
And I would say, like, what? And Woods would go, oh, like, just heavy things. Crazy, dude. Crazy things. And he says, but check it out, Mike. He's going to come through town on a tour bus, and he's going to take listeners, and he's going to take them to a Charger game in his tour bus. And I said, hmm, all right, let's do it. Well, I thought it might be some good insight to my character. He revived my career at that point. My character on the show, he had a lot of insight as to. Me. Yes. And so what he could do is he could tell us like what you were like when you used to work as a salesperson. Yeah. But he didn't do that. No. Not when he came in. No. No, he didn't. Maybe in the book. He mentions me in the book once. Well, it turned out the tour bus wasn't quite a tour bus. It was actually a F-150 with a U-Haul on the back of it. And when he came in. Oh, somebody's got a frowny face.
When he came into the studio, I said, so tell us what you've been through. And he said, well, I got a divorce. And I said, is that right? I said, and, you know, well, tell me, because I'm thinking he's going to say, well, you know, what happened was, you know, turned out that my wife wasn't really a woman. I found out she had been a man the whole time. Which isn't true. Which isn't true. But I was waiting for something. We were hoping. I was thinking, it's going to be something groundbreaking. And so he says, I went through the divorce. I said, okay. What else? He said, well, we lost a pet. I did. Which is actually nothing to really laugh about. Unless you're Mikey and hate dogs. Hey, wait. No. Hang on. It isn't anything to laugh about. But what I was, I thought, okay, maybe he lost a dog because the dog rescued somebody. from the World Trade Center. Right. Which is compelling as all get up. Right. No. Just old age, maybe. Yes. Now, to Mario's defense. To Mateo's defense. It wasn't his fault that Woods asked him to come and be interviewed on the show. He asked me if he could. I said I wouldn't ask because he's done a lot for me. That's true.
And so... There's no Tyson tunes, but it was all right. No, that is a true statement. It wasn't 500 cars honking jingle bells either, okay? Ooh, that's a blow at me. Yeah, I mean... Now, what we learned... We've all had some turds here. Listen. What we learned... What we learned is that it is not possible to give 1,000 books away for free. LAUGHTER Mike, are you still finding those in your lunchbox? I went to his home. I put them in his bed. I called his wife. Mateo left us 8,000 books.