The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/02/11
Friday, September 2, 2011
dating gamecoronado suicidemark anthony interviewphone lostschool suppliesfoo fighters ticketsdepression personal storyshark sightingslabor daypadres gamedatinggame
The show featured Mikey, Woods, Lauren O'Brien (L.O.B.), Jay, and Chris as they prepared for a dating game where Chris ultimately picked Perry (M1 Savage). Earlier, they debated the Coronado suicide ruling, interviewed Mark Anthony about his divorce from Jada Pinkett Smith, and dealt with Woods's lost phone incident. The episode wrapped up with personal reflections on depression and back-to-school supply changes.
What happened, in order
Chris's Dating Game Prep
The hosts hype Chris's upcoming dating game with three girls, test his microphone, and joke about coaching him before the break.
Coronado Suicide Skepticism
The crew debates the ruling that a girl found naked and bound hanged herself in Coronado, expressing doubt about the suicide conclusion.
Dating Game Setup
Mikey explains the dating game format, the curtain to hide the girls, and announces the word of the day "ancient" for a chance to win Foo Fighters tickets.
Mark Anthony on Jada Pinkett Smith
Mark Anthony denies affair rumors with Jada Pinkett Smith, stating they divorced because they simply didn't like each other.
First Dating Game Questions
Chris asks the three bachelorettes about ideal concert plans, wilderness survival tactics, and which food best describes their personality.
Chris Chooses Perry
After hearing the contestants' answers, Chris selects contestant Perry (M1 Savage) for a date and to join the group at the Padre game.
Woods' Missing Phone Mystery
Woods loses his phone, listeners help track it down, and it's discovered a fan accidentally took it while dressed like Woods.
Back-to-School Supplies Evolution
The hosts discuss how school supply lists have changed from basics like pencils to tech items such as iPads, calculators, and USB drives.
People mentioned
mikeysteve woodslauren o'brienjay isbellchrisperrycourtneykatiemark anthonyrebeccajamiekimdanielelizabeth
36,896 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
show and uh we big day for us because uh we're going to go on the baseball game tonight and uh our boy chris will be getting a date in about an hour he looks sharp he looks sharp he does man you good looking dude those girls are probably right now putting on makeup getting all ready to go I haven't gotten a chance to coach him up yet. I will, though, at the break. Don't even know what that means. You know what it means. I don't. You know what it means. I don't want any part of it. Poor Chris. Hey, Chris, we got a microphone hooked up for you. Let's see. World fee panel. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, it says it. It does say world fee panel. Is there anything he has to turn on? Shouldn't be. He should be able to just turn on. One of those girls. Well, try again. Nope, nothing. Perfect. Oh, well. That stinks. Mike. Here you go. Okay, how about now? How about now? Yeah. There you go. We got a microphone in his studio, in Chris's studio. And, yeah. So, anyway, in about an hour, we're going to be doing the dating game. And we'll have three girls in here. And Chris will ask them some questions.
I have prepared the questions for Chris, and they're in the style of the TV show, The Dating Game. And so they'll be kind of... Girly? No, no. I was just referring to some of your lists that you had yesterday, some of your girly lists. What are you talking about? Well, about cuddling and how to make a girl your girlfriend, like how you want to cuddle with them and send them sexy text messages and stuff. Yeah, I thought I had a pretty decent list of how to take a girl from being just a girl that you're seeing to your girlfriend. Or to your BFF. Your bestie. It was funny, sexy. Yes, and a funny text, a smart text, and a sexy. No, it was funny, sexy, sweet. FSS. FSS. It's okay. It's okay. What's okay? It's okay. You're okay. You're okay. You're okay. That was a good list.
I thought it was a good list. Yeah, for sure. Lauren didn't, you know, but that's OK. I did. I did. I just thought you didn't. You didn't. You you said that you thought that it was a I think you said a homo list. It was the gayest list you've ever heard. I think that's a direct quote, LLB. You're dead, by the way. I said it was better for once you were in a relationship how to stay in a relationship. It was a little too strong. A little too strong to be sweet. A little too strong to tell her nice things. A little too strong to cuddle if she wants to cuddle. To hold her hand if she wants to hold hands. Right. Love that girl. Well, you know. Oh, well. I didn't like FSS. I'm sorry. She did not like the FSS text. Funny, sexy, sweet. She didn't like it. I don't know why I took it so personal. Always funny. I took it personal because, you know, obviously this is what I believed to be the way to love a woman. And I had a woman look at me and go, yeah, wouldn't work. No, no. At all. It would work for loving. I love you, though. Yeah, thanks, Woods. You're welcome. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show.
Sitting over here embarrassed. Just a shame to myself. Woods is our sports guy. He's 36. And in true form, true to form, in true Woodsy form, knowing that there would be three girls coming in here today to vie for Chris's attention, decided to dress nice. Absolutely. Like a complete creep. Wow. Instead of wearing his usual. V-neck t-shirt. Not to be outdone by the bachelor here today. He's clean shaven, wearing a nice shirt. What a jerk. Still the hat, though. Still have a hat on. You know why I did this? Two reasons. My wife's coming in today. I wanted to look nice for her. And number two, I've got to film a video for Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. I didn't want to be in a V-neck. I'm a professional. Woods, first of all, I believe that it's inappropriate.
For you to call our M1 that looks just like Kim Kardashian, your wife. Yeah. Second of all. My wife, Jamie, is coming in today. Okay. Wow. As well as our listener that looks like Kim Kardashian. Oh, she is? I didn't know she was coming in. I had timing for you. I didn't know she was coming in. Well, she is. I didn't know that. Let's see. L.O.B., Lauren O'Brien, is the foxy girl that can't stand me sitting to my right. What? Either of us. Any of us. That's not true. Especially me. I'm second. Will you long? After me, you. And then that's it. She loves Chris and Jay. You guys are crazy. Yeah. Okay, here's how it goes in order of hate. Me first. By a long landslide. By five car lengths. Five lengths. Five lengths. Then Woods. Yeah, for sure. And then just by a nose is Jay. And then way far back is Chris. Like, she doesn't even hate Chris. She actually likes him. He's not on the spectrum. No, he's not even on there. She actually likes him. All right. So anyway, we'll be doing the dating game with Chris pretty soon. Three foxy girls. And he will get to pick one. Now, here's the way that it will work. I told Chris that I would explain this to him. And so the way that it will work is we have three contestants.
He has four questions for each girl. So what he could do is he and this is the way I think we should do it is that we should go one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three. So we'll go, you know, with each contestant. And after that, we'll probably be taking a break and then we'll come back and he'll tell us which one he wants to select. I'm so nervous. We've got a curtain. That we will put up so that he cannot see the girls. Jay made it. Yeah, Jay made that curtain and it's ready to go and he won't be able to see a thing. And so, yeah, it's coming up in a little bit. It's going to be fun. The word of the day today is ancient. When you hear me say it, today it's a big prize. You're going to want to be listening for that word ancient. Because when I say it, you could win Foo Fighter tickets. Yes! Yeah, yes. Foo Fighters are going to be at Viejas Arena October 17, and you can be there. And all you have to do is listen for me to work the word ancient into a sentence between now and ten. It could even come during commercials, so you've got to be listening closely. Eighteen, or excuse me, eight to fifteen foot waves.
Yesterday, here in San Diego, I've got to believe that it's going to continue and that it's going to be happening. Hey, I just thought of something, by the way. Sorry to rabbit hole. I think that there is a cool... Hey, Jay, I just thought of something kind of cool. I think that there is a way to control you. How's that? All you do is turn your microphone... Do that. I don't have that. Oh, you don't? Hey, I turn Chris's off, too. You can't answer phones. Oh. Oh. So you don't have a slider for your microphone? I don't have a slider for a microphone at all. Really? Yeah. Got it. You guys should learn sign language. Oh. We're going to have to. Yeah, I have control over his microphone, over Jay's microphone now. But the problem is that Jay doesn't have control over it. Right. And he, you know, he wanted to slip my throat yesterday, called me. He called me by racist names that don't even apply to me. That's not true. Then threatened me with a bomb. That's true. And then I came back to apologize to him. He grabbed me by the throat, put me up against the wall, lifted me off my feet. They know that's not true. It said, listen, I'm strong, but I ain't that strong, Mike. But anyway, so these waves were so big. Oh, my gosh. Because of this storm.
in the Antarctic, and it stirred up waves that came all the way to San Diego that are supposed to continue through the weekend. Jay, did you surf? I did. Oh, I don't have a mic switch. I went to hit a button that I don't need to hit. I did not surf. I went and looked at it, and it was just 20-wave sets that never seemed to be closing out. Okay, now explain that to a layperson. There was a bunch of guys sitting in the lineup, just sitting out there waiting for waves. Yes. Sitting out there right where you want to be, right where the wave breaks. Okay. And the first guy caught a wave, and it looked pretty good. And I thought, oh, we got my board. How tall was the first one? It was easily probably a little overhead, a couple feet overhead. Eight feet? Eight feet. Then it was 20 feet, 20 waves in a row, just bam, bam, closing out, closing out. Closing out. And all the guys got cleaned up, which means they all just got tossed off. Their boards are all tombstoning. Which means they look like a gravestone. Yeah, that means the guy's on the bottom and his board's just the only thing staying up. It's really fun when that happens. And then everybody got pushed way north and they never made it back out. I was like, nope, not going to go. Swamis looked insane. There was guys out there too. I was just like, nope, I'll wait. Is it safe?
In your opinion? It's safe. I mean, if you're a strong surfer, it's safe. If you're not, then don't go out. But I'm hoping it's going to be a little cleaner today. I saw not solar. It's safe to surf this beach, Captain! It's safe to surf this beach! Well, you guys realize that there was a guy out there just taking pictures of the big waves and the surfers? He wanted to, you know, commemorate this auspicious occasion. So he went out there with his fancy schmancy camera, took some pictures, got home, threw them on the computer, and what do you know? He sees what appears to be a shark in one of the waves. And what's right around the shark? Surfers everywhere. Within, I'd say, 10, 12 feet. If. Closer. Closer than 10. I mean, right there.
Crazy. You go inside the cage. Cage goes in the water. You go in the water. Sharks in the water. Yeah, sharks in the water. Yeah. Now, a lot of people were going, well, maybe it was a surfer duck diving. Putting his body down and just diving underneath the wave. Leg kicking out, possibly. Yeah. They called a shark expert to take a look at it. And the shark expert said, It's a shark. Three tons of us. That's a 20-footer. 25. Three tons of them. Yeah, so... Now, the guy that took the picture, he said, hey, listen, if you ask me, this is just proof that we can cohabitate out there. It's awfully convenient that these sharks are showing up right as good surf hits the water. Makes you wonder if it's not a surfer somehow at work trying to keep other people out.
You mean masquerading as a shark? No, I mean, this picture is doctor. Oh, no, no, no. I think they said they had an expert. Yeah, they said that they didn't think it had been photoshopped. Same thing about the La Jolla sighting, which ended up being just a tourist saying that he saw a shark. Come on. That's what they said. For real? I saw a dolphin. What's a dolphin? Well, here's the thing. After, yeah, because they said a third possible great white shark sighting in less than a week. But they reopened that two-mile stretch that they had shut down by Children's Pool in La Jolla because, you know, they saw that foot-long dorsal fin. So, but yeah, the lifeguards searched the area. They haven't seen any evidence of it. I don't know. We saw that picture. Look real to me. Look real to me. Yeah, it looks real. I don't think it's a fake picture. I don't think it's doctored. But I also don't think that those great whites want to eat you. They want to eat other stuff. They want to eat seals. Yeah, they're just passing us by. Yeah, I think so. Probably every day. Yep. Sometimes you're out there and you just feel a little, what was that? Yeah, that's true. You never know. Oh, that's creepy. It is true. You're like, ooh. What was that?
Feel some cold leathery thing. Something got my heel the other day and I didn't know if I stepped on like a sharp rock or if I got stung by something. You should have heard the loud-ish freak out on my board. To jump back on my board and paddle in. While you were doing that, I was nude laptopping on Facebook in my home. You know, just not a care in the world. Not worried. That scares me, the water. It's fun, though. Gosh darn, it's fun. Holy cow. It's worth the risk. It is. It is. I talk to a guy every morning at Starbucks, and he's a surfer. And he says, Mike, if you ever did it and you caught a wave, all it would take is one. And you'd be hooked. And I said, the problem is how long it would probably take to get to that point. It's taken me a year and a half. A year and a half. And I went out a bunch last year. Wow. A year and a half. And now I'm better. Let's see. This is M1 Brock from Encinitas. Hi, Brock. Brock, are you there? Uh-oh.
His cell phone gave out. Woodsy, what's going on with the Chargers? Well, so they had a game last night, man. They took on the Niners. It's the final preseason game. The Niners did end up winning 20-17. Chargers made a comeback. But, you know, we didn't play. We didn't play Rivers. We didn't play Jackson. We didn't play Gates. But I'll tell you who did play really well, and that's Ryan Matthews. Listen to this 56-yard touchdown run. Back to Matthews, and there goes Matthews, and he will score. Look at that speed. I did see that play, and he is lightning fast. He busted through that line. I mean, nobody was within 15 feet of him in a split second. Do you think it'll be a different year for him? If healthy, absolutely. He's got every single skill that you need. If he can hang on to the football and he stays healthy, he will have a monster year. And Tolbert is a...
Great guy to spell him when he needs it. I am optimistic, man. Who's that guy that you were hoping would make the team? Walters. Dude. The white kid? He's a small kid, right? Yeah, white guy. Went to Cornell. Got great hands. He's fast. He's like a Danny Amendola. He's like a Danny Woodhead. He's like, who's the? Wes Welker. Yeah, he's a Welker-ish. He's not that small, but he's a Welker-ish. Good guy in the slot, you know, if you need him. I heard that they really believe he's going to make the team. I think so, too, man. And I hope so. Because, I mean, dude, you run back a kick. You're catching touchdown passes. I mean, you know, proving yourself valuable, that's what you want. Yeah. And obviously, the kid's got a lot of heart. He's a wide receiver. Yeah, he's got to have a lot of heart. It's racist against my own race. Against your own race. We're not fast. Yeah. And we're not good. You can't jump. At all the time and stuff. Yeah. White men can't jump. Right. So, beast. Feast. You know what Mexicans are good at in football? The line. The line. Oh, nasty. Yeah, we're good on offensive and defensive line. Cowboys used to have a guy named Tony Casillas. Yeah. Proud Mexican. I remember. Beast. Yeah. Beast. Anthony Munoz. Anthony Munoz. Hall of Famer. Yeah. Great Mexican lineman. That's right. Great line of lineage of great Mexican linemen. It's true.
You got that going for you. Well, you got Mark Sanchez. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got him. That's right. Oh, so the Coronado, the Coronado case, right, with the girl that hung herself in Coronado. So they are officially, and I mean officially, now ruling this a suicide. Now. Yeah, I know. Her sister is pretty upset. She's got a sister named Mary. And she's upset, disagrees, and says that she's disappointed with that conclusion and does not believe that her sister committed suicide. I don't blame her because she was found naked and bound, hanging from this, what do you call it, the balcony. If you commit suicide, how do you bind yourself with your hands behind your back? Why do you also? Why?
How? Why? The whole thing. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't. I can't imagine how that could be. Well, that's the deal. They're ruling it a suicide and it is what it is. But I don't think it's going to go away. No, I mean, you hope not for her family's sake. Do you want a resolution? I think they're going to chase it. My gut. I don't have anything to back that up. I just think they're going to chase it. I wonder how they... They determined it was a suicide. I'd love to know. Me too. I would love to know the investigation. Because they're saying it definitively. They're sure. Hey, breaking news. 7.1 earthquake off Alaska. 7.1. It's a big one, isn't it? Yeah, it is, man. I was shaking in my boots, Mike. Literally. That's Sarah Palin. Yes, hello and goodbye. Sarah, you just say hello and goodbye and that's it? Oh, I have more important things to do, like try to maybe run for president. Well, I hope you don't. Let me save your money. Don't do it. Palin, 012. Oh, it's 012. I wouldn't say 012. That sounds dumb. I'd say 2012. Palin in... Palin in 2012. It's a little better. It's still stupid. Wow. Yeah.
Consider the source. Yeah. A little harsh. A little harsh. How little? A little bit. Straightening out her glasses. Foxy, though. Yeah. Foxy. Oh, thank you. Like your business suit. Would definitely watch you kiss another girl. Oh, I definitely would. All in. I'd watch that. Michelle Bachman is somewhat attractive, so. Nope, out. Your makeup is perfect. Always. You look great. Oh, thank you. Thanks for stopping in. Bye. Palin and 2012. 570-1949 is our number. And if you want to reach us by text, 949mikey at gmail.com. Our studio, Studio M, is starting to really come together. We got pictures that have been all hung up in here overnight. A bunch of frame stuff. One of them is the dude from the famous YouTube video.
To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. I got to do a look up in the tree. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Yeah. It's the greatest. It's the number one YouTube clip. In my book. I would have to agree. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to come back and I'm going to tell you this story that when you hear it, it'll be one thing. When you see it, it'll be another. I'm talking about fake. breasts on a floor. You think I'm kidding? Just wait till you hear this. 5701949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com This is Hanson and every Sunday morning at 7am it's the Brown Bag Blues on FM 94.9. Two hours of the most down home gritty blues you can get on the radio. Muddy to John Lee. Kenny Wayne to the Black Key.
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He's going to be doing the dating game. He's never been kissed. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, Woods. You know what I mean. Poor guy. Woods. Yes. I'm going to ask you a favor. Okay. I'm going to ask you to not embarrass this poor boy. Zero percent. I'm going to talk this kid up. But don't. Will you please not embarrass him? I mean, when he. I can't. I can't promise you. I just can't promise you that. I know you can't. I can't do it. I know you can't. But here's what I. Okay. Let's talk a moment. Okay. Let's work through this. It's going to occur to you at some point to make it an easy joke. Well, that's kind of what I do. I know. That's kind of what I get paid to do. It's a true story. What I'm going to ask of you today is I'm going to ask you to make him the star of the show. There is no question. I am one of the greatest wingmen ever. All right. Have jumped on.
plenty of grenades in my day to tee my boys up. Sorry, I know you're listening because you're mad, but I love you. Why is she mad? She's mad. Why? She's like, oh, now I know why you didn't want us to come in today. It's pretty girl. You didn't want her to come in? Of course I did. I just told her we have a ton of people coming. We do. We have a full house today. Giant house. Chris just looked at me and said, no, we're good. He did not. One of the smallest amount of people we've ever had on the show today. She'll see when she gets here. She'll see when she gets here. She hates me right now. So she asked, hey, is that a good day to come in? And you said, well, we have a lot of people. Yes, we have a lot of people. Yeah. She said, but I'm family. And I go, babe, you can come in. She can. You can come in on a Monday morning at five o'clock. And that's the deal. She can come in anytime. It doesn't matter how packed it is. Absolutely. Family can always come in. That's what I told her. I just said, for her comfort is what I was worried about. Yeah. Why the sniggles? You're not doing yourself any favors by sniggling. That wasn't me. That was Jay. What are you sniggling, Jay? Comfort. Her comfort. It's for her comfort. It's for her comfort. Sounds like it.
You've been taking pages out of your book, L.O.B. I know. Just turning to Glenn Close over here. I'm on the case. Taking pages out of L.O.B.'s book, which, by the way, L.O.B. borrowed part of the book from my wife, Rebecca. Right. It's a good book. It's a great read. I can't wait to see the three of them tonight just hanging around the Padre game, just sharing stuff. You know? Just going. Just going. What are you guys looking at? Yeah, seriously. My favorite thing to do is to like comments from chicks on Matt's Facebook. That's what Rebecca does. It's what Jamie does. It's such a good move. I got this last night, laying in bed. She stopped, by the way. She did? Well, I don't know if she's taking a rest from it, but I hope she stops. It's uncomfortable. It's awesome. I looked over and I go, well, what are you doing on my Facebook page? She goes, nothing. Then she goes, wow, you sure we're popular with the ladies today? I go, what does that mean? A lot of girls wrote on your page. Okay. What can I do? I'm just... L-O-B is the same way. Like, how did you... You don't control that. I can't... There's nothing I can do about it. You do control it, though, if you respond with smiley faces and exclamation points. Holy... Did you, Woods? I don't know. Probably, because I'm a nice guy, and I respond to everybody that writes me. Every single person, male, woman... Question. Yeah. If a guy...
writes you, do you put a smiley face back? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes. If a guy writes me like, hey, how'd that Yankee game go? And I'll tell him, you know. No, if a guy says, hey, you were really great today on the air, Woods. Thanks, buddy. Exclamation mark. Not a smiley face. Sometimes. Thanks, bud. Sounds like you're taking a page from Mr. Matthew R. Commerce. Lots of smiley faces flying around for the ladies. Maybe we should just cut our wieners off. Give them to you. And then you give them to us whenever we want them. When you're ready to use them. When we're ready to use them. Well, what I don't understand is how, and hey, guys listening right now, you know the same bit, every guy listening right now, how we get in trouble. We get in trouble. We didn't do anything. If you want me mad at somebody, I'm mad at the girl. Oh, trust me, we are. I can't help if I'm extra dynamic one day and somebody decides to write in. I think that what the ladies would like us to do is they would like us to respond, hey, I really appreciate the comment and so does my wife. No. And kindly F off. Leave me alone. Never come here again because I only have eyes for one woman on my Facebook page. It's Jamie R. Woods. It's Jamie R. Woods.
In my case, I wouldn't be called anyone's wife. Oh, that's right. Yeah, put a ring on it. Oh. Oh, Lauren. That is... Oh, gosh. She's looking at her ring finger right now. It's very long and skinny. It's nude, actually. It's naked. It's okay. I don't really like wearing jewelry on my hands. Maybe you never have to worry about it. Yeah, there we go. So there's that. Ring-free. It's like ring-free, baby-free. You're going... Hey, listen. Listen, L.O.B. You're going to feel so bad. The day that he proposes, you're going to take all of these little jokey jokes and you're going to have to apologize for all these little jokey jokes that you make because when he proposes, if... Yeah, that's what you mean to say if. I meant to say when. That's what you meant to say.
Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. I meant to say when. And I bet you he's going to say, so, do you have anything to say besides the yes? Like, darn. I'll probably say, what took you so long? She probably will. She probably will. Sign me up for that. Until then, I'll just keep making those jokes. So it could be, you know, a couple months. It could be forever I get to make these jokes. Forever. I'll enjoy it while I can. Listen, this is a message from me to my wife, Rebecca R. Esparza. From Woods to his wife, Jamie R. Woods. From Jay to his wife, Kim R. Isbell. And I'm sure from Matt R. Commerce. Nah, we don't want to speak for him. We only have eyes for you. That's right. A hundred percent. You know that. Well, wait.
You're not going to account for other members of your body. No, no, I'm saying maybe our eyes will look at other stuff, but that's the only thing. It should be I only have hands for you. No, no, no. That's right. You creep. That is 100% right. I only have hands for you. Because like in Jay's case, he loves to look, but he just doesn't like to touch. Yeah. And I'm kind of on board with that. I only, it would go like this. I have hands for you, but my eyes, I can't make any promises about. Doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home. I disagree with all of these statements, by the way. Weird. How has Kim not slit his throat? She's probably done listen, dude.
She's sleeping. Yeah, she's asleep. She's got kids. She's worried about other stuff. I know exactly what she listens. That's so brilliant. I'll be very quiet. My gosh. 5701949 is the number. And don't forget, createyourdesignonline.com is our good friend Jared, who does the most amazing work graphic design-wise. And if you would like to see his work. And hire him. Go to createyourdesignonline.com. So a four-year-old. This is disgusting. So you know that show Toddlers and Tiaras? This is making big news today. Toddlers and Tiaras is about the world of kid beauty pageants. Now, I know that everybody listening right now who's got a kid in these beauty pageants, you're doing the thing that... probably everybody does that has their kid in the beauty pageants, you're shaking your head and you're rationalizing in your head by saying, oh, he just doesn't understand. We don't understand. Four-year-old Maddie Jackson was sporting fake C-cups and butt padding in the latest...
Shock contestant version of, you know, version. It's all shocking. Toddlers and tiaras. It's a show. She's trying to mimic Dolly Parton. It's good for a four-year-old. Of course, man. Of course, of course. Didn't you want to dress your son, Jake or Luke or Ryan up as Ron Jeremy? Exactly. Because that'd be really good for those guys at that age. Now, the parents that are listening right now that have their kids in pageants are saying, Woods, that's a porn star. This is a singer, Dolly Parton. Well, my answer to that is, right, they're both adults. Right. It doesn't matter what they do for a living. They're both adults. And you know what? They're both known for their body parts. Absolutely. All right. She was, she had apparently these, this four-year-old had a detachable set of boobs. Oh, my gosh. Detachable butt enhancements. Up there performing on stage. For every, you know, pedophile and pervert in the world. Yep. Extra padding concealed under, by the way, her Barbie pink Lycra catsuit. Wow. Good Lord. Jay? No. Okay, good. Good. It's hard to read you sometimes. Disgusting. It's hideous. It's hideous. Trying to give her the appearance of a girl in her late 20s. Why don't we just let kids be kids? Yeah. Let them play. Go on the playground.
Hey, man, this goes so far beyond that. Yeah, it's not even. It's not. Yeah. I mean, because I mean, you could say that you could say that sentence about somebody that had their kid in anything very competitive. You could say, why not just let kids be kids? Right. This goes beyond that. This is why not keep your kid out of pervert bait? Yeah. Why not? not have your four-year-old as a sex object. Yeah. This is like shooting up a little leaguer with HGH. Yeah. You know what I mean? Dude, Woods, that is the most, that's it right there. I mean, it's ridiculous. There is no difference to me. There is no difference to me. I feel it's worse. Yeah? Yeah, maybe a little worse. Because you're, it's sex appeal. Yes, it's sex with a little kid. You're adding curves to a little kid. Anybody that wants to disagree with us, I realize it's an uphill battle. But 570-1949. How creepy are those judges? Imagine that's your job. You're a man and you judge four-year-old beauty. How do you? Like, what are they judging on? I don't know, but if you are one, call and I'll fillet you. I'll be nice, will I? You're not creepy, aren't you?
570-1949. Weird. Nobody wants to talk about it. Maybe nobody disagrees because I don't know how you defend something like that. Well, there are. I know for a fact because I just know there are people listening right now that have their kids in this. There's no doubt. They're not going to call. And the reason that they're not going to call is because in their heads, they're like. He won't understand. They just don't understand. It's a whole subculture, Mike. Listen, I don't want to sit here and say every beauty pageant is wrong. I don't necessarily agree with it. It's not my thing. But to turn them into adults is weird. If it was a talent show, it'd be different. That is true. They were singing. I think that's okay. That is strange. Girl, how drunk is you? I would love to ask that mom. Well, mom. How do you rationalize putting boobs on a kid? What's the point? Well, the reason that she needs the boobs... Oh, sorry. The reason that she needs the boobs is because it fills out the outfit. But that outfit ain't supposed to be filled out. No. In fact, you got that tailor-made to have pockets for boobs. It's hideous. There's a reason they don't come till puberty.
Hey, I have a question. Yes. What will become of this girl? Maybe nothing. Maybe nothing. Maybe nothing bad. Or does it have an effect? If so, what? I don't know. I'm asking. Self-image problems. Most assuredly. Self-image problem. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so fat. You know what I mean? Like all kinds of bad stuff. Welcome, Candy, to the main dance floor. And let's give her a big Texas hell yeah. I don't know. Will they become strippers? Will they become porn stars? Maybe. Will they become bulimic because they got a weird self-image and all they've ever been taught by mom is it's all about your looks? Maybe what we're going to hear is, oh, no. It gives him self-esteem. It gives him self-esteem. M1, Shelly from San Diego. Hey, Mikey Show. Hi. Hi. Hey, you know what? As a former preschool teacher, I saw parents dress their children up in sexy clothes that just didn't belong on them. Yeah. You know, and it gives them the image. I mean, these are three and four-year-olds going, oh, I'm fat. Oh, my gosh. That's awful, man.
You know, I mean, it's totally wrong. I agree with you guys. It sets them up for the pedophiles out there. Yeah, it does that. And it also, I think, maybe it does. Maybe it turns them into porn stars. Could be. Maybe it turns them into, I don't know. You're a little girl. No matter what she looks like, you should always be telling her she's beautiful and she's smart and she's all these things. And putting her against other little girls. It's just creating this I'm inferior from such an early age. Yeah, especially when it's something that's based on your look. Yeah, that you can't, I can't get better at look unless I do things. Unless I get work. Yeah. Strange. All right, so check it out. This is Mark Anthony from ABC's Nightline. And getting asked, hey, did you have some sort of an affair with Jada Pinkett Smith? When something like that happens, it's laughable. We're here, we're laughing, we're like, wow. We've been friends for years. Jada, Jennifer, me, him for years. No, maybe it was just a stupid rumor. You know, rumors are get started and don't necessarily mean they're true. He's divorced from Jennifer Lopez if he didn't know. Do you want this divorce? You know, it's a decision that we made jointly. And that's how I'll answer that. Well, that means yes.
Because if the answer were no, then you wouldn't. But what about infidelity? What can you tell us about what went wrong in the marriage? I'll tell you that it wasn't some sensationalistic happening. Infidelity? No, absolutely not. Nothing sensationalistic. We just didn't like each other. I couldn't stand her. Yeah, the bottom line is I got tired of that side of the block. You've seen her butt? It's huge. Plus, she was on that show, the American, you know, the thing. The thing with the deal. The thing with the deal with the Paula and the drunk girl and the thing. And I didn't like it, you know. But didn't you, in fact, step onto her performance on American Idol and try to overshadow your wife? Yes. Okay. That's an answer, Mark. Only to sell records, though. Okay. For the family, of course. It was for the good of the family. Yes.
I'll leave you with one final quote that Jennifer said. She said, for the first time in my life, I can truly say that I'm loving myself. I'm doing loving things for myself. As devastating... You know what's always interesting, by the way? It's always about... You always hear it's about myself. Like, I'm finally for myself. And I'm finally... It's for me. I'm living for me now. Finally. She said that after the last divorce. Heartbreaking as this has been, this was an important journey for me. I think what she meant was, you know, we all have one life. I think what she meant, and I can only say I think because the truth is we have never really communicated. We don't talk. One life is all we got. All we got. Live your best life. I didn't know that. I thought we got at least two or three. It's like a video game. Yeah. You heard it here first from Mark. Together with this apart, with this one, with this, with that one. What are you talking about? I don't know. He didn't know. I think what she meant. Uh-oh. Watch out for the mushroom. Too late. And then you level up. A guiding light shines from heaven for you. Watch out for those. Jump over the barrel. Hey, I got two guys. Oh, man. I watched you when you sang.
And she danced on American Idol. You saw that, right? Yeah. That was magical. Yeah. What? Magical. Magical. He stole her spotlight and made her dance on her own show while he sang. It was like a puppy being born, a baby being born. How did he make her do this? Yeah, really. He just was cracking the whip over there. That's why she said she divorced him. You know what? You're going to dance. That's part of the reason she divorced him. No. At the end of that, it's not, this is not a funeral. This is not a burial. This is not, you understand? What's a burial? This is just two people who came together and just realized. You understand what I'm saying? That it wasn't sustainable the way it was. And that's that. Well, then... One thing, it wasn't American Idol. You hate divorces so much. It wasn't... I do. You do. I don't like divorces. I think anybody will tell you, you know, how I supported her. You know, from day one. We're going to be in each other's lives for many, many, many years. Oh, we have to. We're forced to. She'll eat kids. If not, I'll kill her. Or not. It's a little harsh, Mark. I mean...
Well, if I do, you won't know about it. But you have money, so you probably covered up pretty well. I'm glad that our friendship is that strong. You know what I mean? Because that's what I think. Do you? What would make it difficult is if we didn't get along. Would it? Even though we don't. So anyway. Don't you? I'm with Chris. Oh, wow. Coming up next. And, hey, Chris, you're not online, are you? You're not looking at the computer, are you? Okay, wait, wait, wait. Let me turn your microphone on. Are you online? I am right now, but I'll close it. Yeah. Yes. Don't watch it. Have you seen the girls? No. Okay, good. Because at 7 o'clock, the girls will be on MikeyShow.com, and they may even be there now. Oh, okay. So don't go to MikeyShow.com, Chris. Don't do it, Chris. You're not allowed to go. It's closed. The audience can. Go to MikeyShow.com and see the contestants. At 7 o'clock, it's set to go live, and you should see them. If they're not there now, 7 o'clock, you will.
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This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Game coming up here in just a second. So apparently this did not work out good for this kid. 22-year-old kid. He is a jury member in Tarrant County, which is in Texas. Yes, sir. And he got kicked off the jury because he decided that he wanted to go on Facebook and friend the defendant during the trial. And you... You can't do that. You can't do that. Now, how he thought he could, I don't know, but he did. And he's no longer on that jury. Woods, what's going on in sports? I'm going to update you on opening night of college football. But first, I want to tell you that sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Yeah.
Okay, college football kicked off last night. It wasn't really a match in either game. The UNLV Rebels got smoked by Wisconsin 51-17, and 20th ranked Mississippi State didn't have any problems with Memphis 59-14. They beat Memphis. And also, listen, this one's for my friends in this town that are Red Sox fans and complain because I never report on the Red Sox. Fine. I'll report on the Red Sox. You lost. Oh, wow. Two of three. to the New York Yankees at your house in September when it counts. It's still biased. Suck it. It's still really biased. Fine, I reported on it. We beat John Lester. He's your best pitcher. Wait. Last night, L.O.B. Thanks for noticing. Chris, can you hear me? I can hear you. All right, Chris. Chris is sequestered in his... Sexy quarters. That's right, in the sexy quarters. He's all... He's all... isolated in a little isolation booth right now. There's a curtain up so he cannot see the girls. The girls cannot see him. And we have three contestants. We have three bachelorettes today for the dating game. And I'm going to tell you a little bit about them. Bachelorette number one is M1 Beach Scum. Bachelorette number two is M1 Courtney.
And Bachelorette number three is M1 Savage. Now, what I'd like to do is I would like to kind of go down the row here and just have you guys introduce yourself so that Chris can... hear your voices and the audience can hear your voices, want to let everybody know, if you go to MikeyShow.com right now, as soon as you sign on to MikeyShow.com, you're going to see the dating game and you can go there and see the contestants for yourself. All three girls and their bios and their pictures, they're all there right now. But let's start out with Bachelorette number one. Introduce yourself and say hello to Chris. Hello, Chris. I am M1 Beach Scum. There you go. Morning, Beach Scum. I'm so nervous. I'm so giggly. I feel like I'm in seventh grade. Bachelorette number two. My name is Courtney. Hi, Chris. How are you doing? I'm doing good. How are you? Pretty good. And contestant number three. Hi, Chris. I'm M1 Savage. There you go. Morning, Savage. All right. Now, this is the way that this is going to work.
Chris is going to ask a series of questions to each individual bachelorette. And we'll take a break and then we'll come back and he will decide which girl he would like to go out with. Then, tonight, the girl that he selects will go with all of us from the Mikey Show. We're all going to be going to the Padre game tonight against the Rockies in a luxury skybox. And it's going to be a lot of fun. And our families are going. It's going to be a very cool time. Without any further ado, Chris, let's get this thing started. Go ahead and ask your first question. M1 Beach Scum, let's start off with you. I like going to concerts. If we went to a concert together, describe what you would like to happen before and after the show. Well, I'd say first off, before you go to any concert, I think it's a good idea to get a little food in the belly. So, you know, depending on where we are, maybe grab a bite downtown somewhere, you know, classy like Zanzibar. You know, go to the concert, have a great time. And, you know, depending on when we get out, maybe go grab a beverage after or coffee or what have you. Just something low key to kind of mellow out after the concert and then call it a night. Now, I have to remind you, Chris, you might want to be taking some notes. Definitely taking some notes. You got it. All right.
Should I just go in there with him? No. Contestant number two. All right. M1 Courtney, pretend that we were stranded somewhere in the wilderness. How would you suggest we stay warm for the night? Getting fresh, huh? These weren't my words. I didn't write that one. I'd probably gather some, maybe make you gather some sticks. I'll make a rock. barrier for our sticks to go in and start a fire. I was in Girl Scouts, so I'm well equipped. Yeah. And that's how I'd predict to stay warm. Thank you. Contestant number three. Number three. What type of food could best describe your personality? Wow.
I don't know. I guess I really like hamburgers. So I guess a hamburger. But I also really like Italian food. Yeah, I know, but you've got to understand this. You've got to pick a kind of food that would describe your personality. My personality. Like Mikey or Burrito. Well, I said hamburger. No, for instance, if I had to think of a type of food that would describe my personality, it would be a hot dog. It's very plain. It's very simple. It's very laid back. It's very uncomplicated. It's uncomplicated. No. Zero percent. All right. Maybe it would be a fondue. It's very complex. It would be paella, my friend. It's very complex. You would be like an upper blanc sauce. Like really a very delicate balance of how to cook it without like overdoing it. I'd be like an angel food cake. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Woods would be. Woods would be. a hot fudge sundae that's melted. A complete mess. Meltdown, yeah. But delicious. But delicious. You gotta have it. You gotta have it. Every topping you can imagine. Just an explosion in your mouth and confusion. L-O-V. What? So how would you describe yourself, Perry, contestant number three? Alright. What food? I guess I would have to say, oh man.
I would still go with Italian, too. Like a pasta? Yeah, pasta. Like a nice, light pasta? Got it. Is that okay? Yeah, she's light. She's light. Light and fun. There you go. But still filling sometimes. Exactly, exactly. Back to contestant number one. All right. Contestant number one. I've been accused of being too nice a guy. How would you make this nice guy a little wilder? The other girls are so shy and embarrassed, and they're hearing the question. They're like, glad I didn't get that one. Well, I mean, I don't know. I like to consider myself a pretty spicy, outgoing person, so probably ruffle your feathers a little bit. Maybe. Maybe get you with some friendly sarcasm, break you out of your shell a little bit. Nice. Everybody has their feathers rolled. By the way, I forgot. I should be doing this as we go along. M1 Katie, 23 years old, accounting major from OB, also of German and Mexican origin. And let's see. She says that she doesn't church Jimmy, but she is pretty simple.
that her four necessities in life are the beach, running, burritos, and music. Gotta love that. Nice. Jay, and I said to Woods, hey Woods, make sure you don't embarrass anybody. Of course, it's Jay that does it. How am I doing? You're doing great, pal. All right, contestant number two is Courtney. I'm one Courtney. So, I don't know what you look like, but you know what I look like. Let's say I'm one of your girlfriends. How would you describe me? Describe you? Describe me. You are tall and dark and handsome, like Mikey says, and you look very clean. Does that make sense? Yeah, you'd be telling this to your girlfriends, so that's what you would tell them, yeah. And a little on Courtney, born and raised in San Diego. Her mom raised her with two sisters until she was 12 years old.
And then she met the love of her life, and with him came his two kids. It was not... Did I get that right? Say what? Yeah, I didn't meet the love of my life. Oh, your mom did? That was my mother, yeah. You did it when you were 12? Yeah, I was like, wow, you met the love of your life when you were 12. Yeah, you know? And it just really blossomed after that. Became a stepmom at 12. Yes. So your mom met the love of her life, meaning your dad. Like the Brady Bunch. Yes, like the Brady Bunch. That's right. She's currently studying English, despite the fact that she never learned phonics and still can't spell to save her life. And she is also a nanny. Is that correct? That is correct. There you go. All right. Bachelorette number three. If we were going to travel together, which form of transportation would excite you the most? Cruise ship, hot air balloon, or a tightly packed subway car? I don't know. I guess it would depend on where we were. But I wouldn't mind. I like subway cars. I like trains. So I think that that would be fun. You get to see people, meet new people. Here, let me tell you a little bit about M1 Savage. Her name is Perry. And her sister...
She was too embarrassed to do this herself. Yes, yes. Very sweet. Very shy. And very shy. And so her sister actually kind of put her up to this and came in the other day. We met her sister in studio. And her sister said, I want my sister to be in this thing. She's super cute. She's really, really sweet. I really think that they would get along great. Wow, she said that? Yes, she did. She did. Perry is 22 years old. She's a student at Point Loma University. And her sister says about her, probably the most interesting person that you'll ever meet. She's hilarious, smart, and witty. And yeah, your sister says that you're a great catch. So there you go. All right, back to contestant number one, M1 Beach Scum. All right, Beach Scum. Which animal is most like you in terms of personality? Sorry, can you repeat that one more time? Which animal is most like you in terms of personality? Oh. What animal would describe you? Yes, I'm thinking right now. And by the way, I want to say again, if you want to see these ladies, go to MikeyShow.com.
And as soon as you get to Mikeyshow.com, you're going to see the dating game. Click on that. It's got all three profiles of all three of the girls. Katie, who is M1 Beach Scum, M1 Courtney, and Perry. So you can see all three girls that Chris cannot see. He can't see them right now. We're sitting in the same room with him. His room's covered by a sheet from Motel 6 that Jay brought in. That is so dirty. That is true. I'll take a picture of it and post it. It's filthy. It's hideous. Yes. It's hideous. Jay, stop that smile. It's hideous. That smile that Jay has. He's killing you. That smile is so creepy. I don't know what it says about that sheet. Go ahead. Who's up? Animal. What animal best describes your personality? I would probably say... If anything, a monkey. I don't fling poop or anything like that. You do not? No. Okay. But, I mean, how can you look at a monkey and just not get excited? I like that answer. Nothing's so fun. I love that answer. Awesome. Exactly. Contestant number two. What story would your parents tell me about your teenage years that would really embarrass you? Embarrass me? Embarrass you.
She got a big smile. She knows it. She's like, which one can I tell? The thing about these questions is I always, even on the show when you guys do these types of questions, I think of something really good about two and a half hours. Oh yeah, we do that too. Yeah, we do too. We do too. So I can't, I don't, I can't think of anything that really embarrassed. Give us an embarrassing moment in life. Not as embarrassing as me urinating on my pants like I did that one time. Or me pooping my pants on the way to work one day. And then Mikey not believing me and me having to prove it. Yeah, that's a true statement. Back to Courtney. No peeing on yourself. Probably not. Not to put you on the spot. No, I don't know. This is the worst. Do you want to pass? You can pass. If you can't think of anything embarrassing, don't worry about it. Hey, you want to ask her another question? Yeah, sure. Go ahead, Chris. All right, so dinner and a movie or hike and a picnic? If there was a waterfall involved, there has to be something at the end of the hike worth it, I think. Well, I guess a picnic could be worth it. Like a McDonald's for us. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Shedding beam of light. Is it a picnic? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so.
I'd say hike and a picnic. Cool. Definitely. All right. Contestant number three, M1, Harry. M1, Harry. Harry. Harry. We're not messing with you, Chris. This is like, great. Are those dudes? They're dudes. You're Jay. Are those guys? Go ahead. Suppose I'm coming over to your place for dinner and a movie. What meal are you making? And you have to pick the movie. Wow. I would probably make something light, like chicken with some vegetables. Baked? Baked chicken? Sure. Something healthy? Probably. No. But good, not like grows healthy. Are you a good cook? I am a good cook. Yeah. I am. I like cooking. And what movie? What movie would you like? Probably a comedy. Yeah.
Maybe a romantic comedy. You've got to pick one. Oh, I have to pick one. It's your choice. This will give him an idea who you are. Who are you? Okay. I would pick... Romantic comedies aren't my favorite, so I'd probably pick something like role models or something that's funny and we can laugh at it. How many questions do you have left for these ladies? There's one question to each left. Back to contestant number one. M1 Beach Scum, what does a wild night look like for you? Wow, her eyebrows raised immediately. Well, let's see. As of recently, since it's been summertime, wild nights for Beach Scum have been a lot of summer concerts, followed by a little going out afterwards.
So lately that's been the usual bit on the agenda. But, I mean, it really depends on the night and what kind of mood I'm in. So being out, high energy. Cool. And contestant number two, back to M1 Courtney. All right. So since a story that your parents tell me about that didn't work out, how about a story that kind of represents who you were as a kid, you know? Maybe something that your favorite teacher. Yeah, what kind of kid were you? I was pretty outgoing. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't unnoticeable, I guess. Yeah. I think my claim to fame was when I was five, and I sat on Shamu. You sat on Shamu? Yeah, they let kids do that back when I was little. Really? That's cool. So I sat on them. They put me up there. And then on the, this is the big deal. You still have the picture? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is that when they did the kiss bit too? Like where the tongue? No. They just literally put me up there. They used to have Shamu. Yeah. Stick his tongue on your face. It's perfect. Yeah. So on the way out in the parking lot.
a kid said, hey, mom, that's the little girl that sat on Shamu. And for the rest of the day, I was like, yeah, I was. Yeah, that's right. Better than being called Shamu when you're little. Yes, it is. All right, contestant number three, back over to M1, Perry. All right, so this is the last question. What's the one topic you know more about than any other? You know, like for me, it would be burritos. Or Jesus. Yes. For woods, narcotics, jail, arrest. The legal system, you could say. Yes. You could be a lawyer. I could be. Yeah. Representing myself many times. Well, I do like, I'm an international studies major, so I do know a lot about international studies. Yeah. History. I love talking about history and discussing it. I would have to say probably.
Probably history, like European history. There you go. I love it so much. Nice. Is that the last of the questions? That was the last of the questions. Oh, boy. When we come back, we are going to be allowing our boy Chris to be all grown up. He's going to be picking one of these ladies. And one of these ladies is going to be going out on a date with him and also be going to the Padre game with us tonight. And they will get to see one another for the first time. Maybe an embrace. Maybe an embrace. And you can see them by going to MikeyShow.com right now. When we come back, Chris makes his decision. Oh, boy. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We know you want ultimate performance. So now BMW and Seditas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. True Labor Day. Lease a new 2011 328i sedan for only $299 a month plus tax. That's right. A new 2011 328i sedan for just $299 a month. Or get 1.9% APR financing for a limited term with approved above average credit. And with BMW also picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Hurry in to get a 328i for only $299 a month during the ultimate performance event.
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Plus CRV in California. Selected variety is must-buy five. Limit six free for transaction. It's been a great summer. So stop by Vons for the long weekend daily deals and Vons Club specials to celebrate its final days. Vons. Ingredients for life. The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event. With impressive values on the most popular Lexus models. Now through September 6th. See your Lexus dealer. This report is brought to you by Lowe's. Choose 18 months special financing on purchases of $299 or more with your Lowe's consumer credit card. It ends 9-5. Can't be combined with 5% off everyday credit offer. See your store for details. Well, it looks like we got some slowing as you come through Santee on the 67 southbound Wintergarden Boulevard to Woodside Avenue. It's 19 miles an hour. Also traveling here on the 54 eastbound Point Parkway to Sweetwater Springs Boulevard, 20 miles an hour. And some backup. Up here on the 94 eastbound from 25th Street all the way down to the 15 northbound, 10 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Burger King. Go to Burger King and try a delicious croissant, which paired with Seattle's best coffee. Enjoy a flaky croissant, scrambled eggs, American cheese, your choice of sausage, bacon, or ham at participating restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird's Sur Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning being brought to you by Frostbrew Coors Light. It's House San Diego Breaks, Coors Brewing Company, Gold in Colorado. Surf-wise this morning, we're seeing a peak of that southwest pretty swell that was so dominant yesterday. Still some solid sides out there, a little bit of a west-northwest cross to it. But it's definitely tapped out and topped off some. Looking at some shoulder-to-overhead waves still, though, occasional setway is about eight, maybe nine-foot overhead range. So you've got to be careful where you're paddling out. Every once in a while, those big ones will come in and lurk and get you. Low tides this morning, as well as a little bit of a westerly wind, so the condition is not looking all that good. Beach break is still pretty overloaded. You can still grab a few corners there, and they should improve some as the tide fills in. Some of the reef breaks have a little bit better shape, too. But as it was yesterday, still a lot of cross and bump on this swell, too. Surf to be had, not all that clean. Be careful, a lot of sharks swimming around lately, so keep your eyes peeled. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For all your surfboard repair needs, go check out Jailroper Surf Repairs. Surfboard Repairs, I should say, down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I've never been so happy.
And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be. Woods. That's why I don't eat that funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Condon. Did it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad. On FM 94.9. Today is ancient and you've got to be listening for it because today that word will get you Foo Fighter tickets when you hear it. Caller 9. When you hear me work the word ancient into a sentence, caller nine gets to go see the Foo Fighters October 17th at Viejas. Let's do this. Chris, can you hear me? I can hear you. All right. Chris is in a isolation booth right now, and we are doing the dating game. Now, we've got all the girls right now online. You can see them at MikeyShow.com. We've got M1 Katie, who calls herself M1.
Beach Scum. And we've got M1 Courtney, and we've got M1 Perry, who calls herself M1 Savage. But I'm going to go by just your regular names just to keep things straight, okay? So if you haven't already, please go to the website, take a look at the girls, read their bios. We've got Katie, Courtney, and Perry. Now, you had a chance to evaluate, Chris, while we were in the break, correct? Yes, I did. All right, and are you ready to make your selection? You want me to say what I liked about all of them? I would. Or just go to my selection? I would. Wow, how sweet. A little angel. Cute. Gosh, darn. You might be able to pull a menage a trois out of this whole thing, Chris. Oh, weird. I'm telling you. A menage. A menage. Wow. You and three girls, pal. You're that good. Well, contestant number one. And one beach scum. I liked how you love going out, and it seems like you have a love for music. Describing yourself as a monkey was also pretty good. And M1, Courtney, contestant number two, I liked how you wanted to go on the hike. While I like dinners and movies, nature has always been a pretty big part of my life. That's cool. Is he reading that? He wrote it. He wrote this out. He's an angel. He's a sweet guy. So sweet. He's so sweet. You can get them all. I'm telling you right now.
You already said that. And it was creepy the first time. It's so weird. Harry's making a face like, I didn't say it before. Come on. Contestant number three, I loved your answer when I asked you what form of transportation you would like to take if we traveled. You said train, and that would be a fun way to meet new people. That let me know you're pretty outgoing and that you like adventure, and what your sister had to say about you was pretty nice, too. L-O-B. She's crying almost. Is almost crying from the sweetness of him writing this out. She just is in love. Are you serious? Yes. It's so cute. Go ahead. So tonight, I would like to take with me contestant number three. Wow. There you go, ladies and gentlemen. Did it go wrong with any of these ladies? Yeah, I know. I didn't know what I was expecting. Contestant number three is M1, Perry. And what should we do? Should we have him come into the studio? Oh, gosh. Take your pants off. His pants are already off, which is weird. Come on in, Chris. Come on in. Chris is coming into the studio. Go ahead. Give him a hug. Give him a hug. There you go. Awkward. Awkward. It was a little awkward.
It was a little awkward, but they didn't know whether to shake or hug or shake or hug. It was the uncomfortable alarm. They'll be red. Well, congratulations. Congratulations. And listen, here's what we were telling M1 Courtney and M1 Katie is that we want you guys to stick around and we're going to have a whole studio audience in. And so you guys still get to hang out. We'd love you to do that. Give them the option to leave a third. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess that's fair. I mean, I guess that is fair. I mean, I want to force you guys to say they're like, what if we want out of here? What if we hate Chris? And by the way, Chris, I'll take a coffee as soon as you can.
Take down the curtain. I posted a picture of this, by the way, on my Facebook. It's the filthiest curtain I've ever seen in my life. What do you do in bed with cornstarch and your wife? You're hideous. I don't think that's a... Is it a sheet? It's not a sheet. It's a tablecloth. That he stole and uses as a sheet on his master bedroom. You know that. What else are you going to do? I ain't going to... Bath and Beyond. Just gives me a little alone time in Mikey's office. I expensed it on the company and I thought, where else can I use this? The creepiest creeper. Oh, my gosh. Well, congratulations. Congratulations, Perry. Pull the microphone up. Pull the microphone up. And the funny thing is, she's so shy that, you know, her sister was the one that had to, you know, kind of do this whole thing. No, thanks, Lane. Yeah, pretty nice. Pretty nice. Okay, so we got other stuff we got to do. I wanted to ask this question specifically with Woods, but we'll offer it to everybody and you can call in 570-1949. The other day we were talking off the air. Actually, I don't remember if it was off the air or on the air. You could tell me, Woods, when we were talking about...
your dad and going to games and stuff like that going to uh notre dame games and things of this nature yes did you ever say anything that flipped your dad out like you say something and he just lost his mind yeah he i had a mustang in high school senior year and i dented the door badly yeah and he came out and he was he looked at it he it was brand new yeah he goes What the hell happened? Yeah. And I go, you know, I popped off. I said, I don't, I don't know. I don't remember. Like, get out of my face. Right. He got, we were toe to toe. He's 6'4". He was probably, you know, 200 at that time. Yeah. Used to play football at ND. Yeah. Big cat. Yeah. In my face with that jaw clenched. Yeah, the jaw clenched. I'm going to throw, I'm going to kill you. And I realized then, just don't even try. Is there anything scarier than dad with clenched jaw? No.
When you get dad to clench jaw, it means business. My dad's face actually got red. He's Irish and English. And I had a party when I was in high school. I tried to maintain that the word just got out that my parents were out of town. But really, my parents then found a list. I took everything that was fragile in the house, and I made a list of it to remember where to put it back. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, later they found a list and was like... Spontaneous, huh? Spontaneous. Just happened, right? And they locked it all up. The fragile list. Oh, yeah. They came home a day early from their trip to Virginia to go visit my sister because it was my mom's birthday. And they thought, you know what? I don't want to spend my birthday on the road. Let's just go. Let's just go drive through the night. We'll go home on Saturday night instead of Sunday morning. Well, they came home to about 75 to 100 kids in their house. Wow. In the middle of the party. In the middle of the party. 75 to 100. At least. Cars all... My parents live up on a hill, so the driveway was just lined with... By the way, I'm guessing not one, but various stereos on. It's never one stereo. Like, there are zones. I did, in fact, intend to have about 20 to 25 people over, but once you open the floodgates in a town with nothing going on, every kid is going to show up.
So my dad had like a little game room downstairs with the pool table and all that. There was a music, like a little jukebox thing going on there. My dad's office, he had a little Bose sound system. That was on. The big giant one that was like eight feet tall in the family room. That was on. People were in every crevice of the house. Imagine this. Imagine that you're L.O.B. You walk in and somebody that you don't know is messing with your dad's Bose sound system. I was almost happy that they came home because I was losing control. I was outside being like, calm down. And someone goes, a girl that I grew up with goes, oh, my gosh, Laura, that's your dad. And I go, right. And I had a drink in my hand. She goes, no, seriously, that's your dad. And then I heard his voice exit the car. What are you doing? And I was like, oh my gosh. So I ran in the house because I was out on the deck. I ran in the house. I get everyone out. And that's when he also said, please exit in an orderly fashion. Well, I hung out in the basement and waited for everything to finish, which is where the man cave was with the pool table and everything. And I kept my three friends around me as the buffer. A buffer. Yeah, they had to be there. Right, because he can't beat you if there's a bunch of people there. There's witnesses. Yeah, there's witnesses. He came downstairs, clenched jaw, and he goes, girls.
Oh, my gosh. Breathing. He goes, has one of you not been drinking tonight? I haven't, Mr. O'Brien. Give all these girls a ride home. And he's like quivering. His face was bright red. And he said to me in the loudest voice I've ever heard. I got to back up off the mic. Are you nuts? Oh, wow, wow, wow. Are you nuts? What do you say to that? A little different choice of words than what I would have. What do you say to that? He said, he goes. His face was bright red and he was shaking and he said, I can't. Talk to you right now. I have to wait till tomorrow. And I was like, oh boy. So I couldn't sleep. Not a wink. Not a wink. But then I sleep and I wake up and for a second you forget about it, right? Yeah. Not a dream. Right. And then I remembered and I had to wait to go downstairs. I was like, my life's over. That's it. That's the end of my life. Yeah, it's over. That's it. What did happen? You go down there. Oh, I went down there and surprisingly they were like, I could smell bacon and stuff like that. And I was like,
Maybe they're cool with it. Maybe they're fine. There's bacon. Yeah. Well, they wouldn't be making bacon if they're pissed off. Yeah. I was like, ahem. And I could hear, like, the little TV, the, like, Channel 6, like, the little TV in the kitchen going on, and they were watching news, and it seemed normal enough. Right. So I slipped down, and I was like, hey, guys. And they had already come up with like an entire plan that they executed. And what was it? It was a month before my birthday to get my license. So they're like, you're not getting your license. You're not going anywhere until at least next year. Oh, my God. It was November. It was November 8th. Grounded through the holidays. You remember the date. Oh, yeah, because it was my mom's birthday. Yeah. And they were like. It's outstanding. They had come up with like the plan was like there was no negotiating. This is it. Here. Sign here. Here's what's happening, in fact. Yeah. Hey. Get used to that. Your life is over. As you know it. Yeah. And then go rake the leaves, actually. Oh, hungover. My parents live on almost two acres. So I had to get out, do the sheet bit, rake them onto the sheet. And walk back to the backyard. Yeah, like a leave hobo. 570-1949. Call us right now. You got one of those stories of...
Dad, what did you say that flipped your dad out? Now, I don't remember the scenario. What's the scenario? All I remember was what I said that flipped him out. And what I said was, and I've never said it since, what do you care? Now, I don't know what kind of balls I got on me that day. I just got scared for you. Yeah, I know. How old? Like 15. It was that stage of testing, but it was also that stage of, I'm not afraid, mixed with, who do you think you are? I'm a man. And I'm a man. I shave. Look at this crust stash I got here. Yeah. But all I remember saying was, what do you care? And he looked at me, and I remember instantly saying, I'm sorry.
Oh, no. Like a wimp. Like a wimp. And I remember him being cool about it because I said instantly, I'm sorry. Had I not done that, he probably would have killed me. He probably would have killed me. I'll have to ask him, Dad, what was the thing when I said, what do you care? Dude, if you said that to me, I'd be pissed off at you. I'd be like, where are you going? What do you care? I'd be like. What's your problem? You don't say that to your dad. You don't say it to anybody. You don't say that to your Mexican dad who was in the Navy and has a rose tattooed on his arm that says mother. And he does. Where does he begin to list the reasons why he cares? Yeah. Yeah. Where do I start? Where do I start? Do you know what I did? Oh, my gosh. Like, and this was this was so bad that he couldn't even beat me because it was so bad. Like, if he had started beating me, probably never would have stopped. But my dad. was stationed in Japan. And he climbed Mount Fuji, which was, you know, the equivalent of climbing, like, you know, Mount Kilimanjaro or something. And what he did was, they give you this thing. As you climb, you know, every, like, thousand feet or whatever, they give you a, you have a walking stick that they give you. And each thousand feet, they put a burn mark.
They actually brand it. So it's like a burn mark as you go up every thousand feet. When you get to the very top, they brand the last brand onto this big giant bamboo stick that you've used to climb Mount Fuji. When I was about 16 years old, my dad kept it out in the shed out back. And when I was about 15, 16 years old, a friend of mine. and I were camping in our backyard, doing what a lot of kids do in the summertime, you camp in the backyard. Well, when you run out of kindling, you start looking for new stuff to set on fire. And I found this piece of bamboo in the shed, and I remember. I took it and went, snap on my knee, snapped it in half, tossed it onto the fire. I didn't know what it was. All I knew was it was a dorky...
Dumb piece of looking bamboo. And it was already burnt. Who keeps this? Freaking hoarders. Weirdos. Garbage. Weirdos with the burns on it. Who knows what you guys are up to? And so it was later. And we should get my dad on the phone. See if you can get my dad on the phone. You should have all the numbers. Me good. Let's see if he remembers. Oh, my goodness. It was much later that he went out there and he said, Megan, where is my walking stick? Oh, I burnt it. I told him the truth. Hey, mom. Nothing talking on the radio. Is dad around? Let me talk to dad real quick. It's Mike. Little angel. He's got to go to his office because he's got a hearing.
phone in there that he could hear good. Hi, Mrs. Esparza. Hi, Mrs. Esparza. You guys can call her, Esther. Hi, Esther. Respect. Oh, wow. Respecto. That's my mom. Little angel. Love you, mom. Guys. I love you. I love you. She's so sweet. Every time I see her, I just want to cry because she's the sweetest lady. I give her a big hug. I'm like... They're both so sweet. Hello? Hey, dad. Yeah? I was telling the story on the air about your Mount Fuji stick. I shouldn't be laughing. I know. So, Dad, how far did you walk up that mountain? I think it's about 18,000. Are you kidding me? Oh, it's humongous. It was really an accomplishment. Yeah, you know, they have a saying in Japan, and it says, he who climbs Mount Fuji is a fool, and he who climbs Mount Fuji is twice a fool. I was twice a fool.
Wait a minute. He who climbs Mount Fuji is a fool, and he who climbs Mount Fuji is twice a fool? He who climbs Mount Fuji twice is twice a fool. You only did it once, though, right? No, I did it twice. You did it twice? Michael! It's the double Mount Fuji stick. You did it twice? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. It's a lot of fun, though, Chris. You know, you don't go away to the top. They have these caves. They have dug, and that's where you stay so you can climb maybe the last thousand feet and then watch the sunrise. Wow. Sounds rad. Yeah. So do you remember, Dad, the day that I said that I had used the Mount Fuji climbing stick as kindling? How can I ever forget? I wanted to use you for kindling. His heart must have just sank. Oh, yeah. My stick. My freaking walking stick. My stick. My stick. No. No. Idiot. Oh, my gosh. All right, Dad. Well, we just wanted to, you know, remind you of all the good stuff. Hey, by the way, on the 30th, a few days ago, I wanted to mention it. Mom and Dad celebrated 55 years of marriage. How about that? Very dear to my eye. Congratulations. Congratulations.
Been married 55 years and, you know, really showed me a cool model of marriage. For sure. You know, and I appreciate that. My dad's a good man. I love you, Pop. I love you guys, too, and you, too. All right. Have a good day. Thank you. Bye now. You can say I love you. You can say it now. He has. He's said it on the air before. He has. One time. I love you guys, too. Well, we said hi to him, so it was like... He means... He wanted to make sure we knew, too. And he means your family. Let's say I love you, son. He means your family. I love you. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. When we come back, you're going to hear outtakes from the new... They're releasing Scarface on Blu-ray, and they've put all new outtakes. Oh, my gosh. I can't wait. From Say Hello from My Little Friend. I always have to look my sexiest.
That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. FM 94.9. Nissan's bottom line sales event has been extended through September 5th. Get an extra 500 holiday bonus cash on popular models. Lease Altima. $179 plus bonus cash. With a better availability of vehicles than Honda or Toyota, you save. Get bottom line prices on our top of the line vehicles. Now, lease Altima $179 plus $500 holiday bonus cash. Visit ChooseNissan.com. Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars. Bonus cash. More savings. That's the bottom line. Hurry in today. Bonus cash and September 5th. Bonus cash on Altima Maximo Rogue Murano. $29.99 initial payment, 24 months on 2012 Altima. Excludes tax, title, license, non-refundable, $5.95 acquisition fee. Call 1-888-858-8319 for inventory and offer details. Bonus cash valid 830-95. Other offers at 930-11. Pick up the grill and grab your favorite beverage. Your Labor Day celebration starts at Vons with long weekend daily deals every day from now through Labor Day.
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This report brought to you by Napa. This September, stop into any participating Napa Auto Parts store or Napa Auto Care Center. Receive up to a $50 mail-in rebate with the purchase of qualified Napa Breaks products. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show Live. Let's meet you. We have a live studio audience every single day here on the Mikey Show. And on Fridays, we go two hours. So it's from 8 to 10 on Fridays. And if you want to come in here any day during the week, you can do that. And the way that you do is you go to MikeyShow.com. And sign up for it. It's very easy. Next week, Labor Day. It's going to be a short week. And then I want to let people know that a week from today, the Mikey Show will be taking the day off because it's my son Jake's birthday. It's his fifth birthday. And me and my wife and Woods and his wife and I think Grammy are taking Jake to Disneyland.
for his birthday, and he is flipping out excited. I bet. He, by the way, I don't know if we mentioned this, Jake has a crush on L.A.B. Oh. And he, it's so funny, you know, like he will zoom in, and once he has zoomed in, you know, he kind of locks on like an aircraft. With the radar. And he loves L.O.B. Yes, he does. I'm honored. Yeah. Sweet little angel. He was having a lot of fun swimming this last weekend. All right. So, let's see. Scarface. Scarface, which now seems like an ancient movie, but came out in the early 80s. And it's so iconic. It's coming out on Blu-ray and on the special features. They got some new special features. Alternate takes of say hello to my little friend. No. Action. Say hello to my little friend here. Okay. How'd you like that? You scum. How great. How freaking great. I got chills. I got chills. Dude. Say hello to my little friend here. Thank you.
Yeah, I don't like say hello to my little friend here. No. As much as say hello to my little friend. Just wearing them out. Yeah. It's so good. Okay. That's the real one. Wow. I remember being about five, six, seven years old, seeing the trailer for that. And I was like. To my nanny, my grandmother, I go, nanny, can I go see this movie? She said, absolutely not. You're not going to see Scarface. How did you even get to see the trailer? Oh, that was the TV. It was on TV. The commercial, whatever it was called. I saw the blimp go by and it said, the world is yours. And I remember reading it going, I don't know what this is, but I'm in. Yeah. Like the first time I saw boobs, the same thing. I don't know what these are, but I'm all the way in. First time you saw Motley Crue. Fair enough. You don't know what it is? All the way in.
I remember that that movie was originally going to be rated X. No. Yeah. Not because of dirty stuff, but because of the violence. It's pretty violent. And they had to edit it down just to get it to the point where it got its rated R rating. But it's an iconic movie, man. M1 Mike is on the line from Escondido. What was the word of the day? That is correct. You are going. to see the Foo Fighters at Viejas on October 17th. Rad. Yeah, dude. Hang on the line, okay? Was there anything scarier than Al Pacino with that short haircut? Creepiest thing ever. That short haircut. That short haircut was just creepy. That shirt wide open with those chains. Yes. He'd kill you. And he was such a pit bull. Skinny, real skinny, would kill you. That was, I think,
right towards the prime of Pacino, man. Oh, no question. I mean, that was some good stuff. Chargers lost the game last night, but barely had any starters in last night. Yeah, man, they were just doing their thing. Ryan Matthews had a really good game, had a nice touchdown run, about 56 yards, fast as grease lighting. It was rad. It was cool because I thought we started to get to see, well... This is why. This is what they were seeing in Ryan Matthews. Last year, that ankle was all banged up and everything. But I'm telling you, man, he sure did look good last night. He sure did. Anything else? What else is going on in sports that... Oh, the Yankees beat the Red Sox last night. They took two out of three at their house in September, which is really when the pennant race starts to heat up. This is the best month of the year because you got, Mike, you got the pennant race. College football started last night. Pro football starts the 11th. It doesn't get better than September. It just doesn't. Woodsy, you're going to get a kick out of this. Chris was busy doing a lot of stuff this morning because obviously, you know, dating game and everything. And we had Jay screening a couple of calls. And this is just interesting because M1 Elizabeth is on the line from San Diego. And it says she is obsessed with Jay.
Is that right? Are you there? Hello? Hello? Oh, hi. It's Elizabeth. Yes. Am I on? Yes, you are. Now, Chris... Do you know how long I've been waiting for this day? Yes. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Chris has apparently talked to her before, and he doesn't... Is that right? Chris has talked to you before, right? Well, I just call him when I'm thinking about him, because I like to... I don't know, this is embarrassing, but I always like to start my day by watching one of his YouTube videos, his science experiments. So I'm just really impressed. I'm just excited. I just like to call and see if maybe they'll put me through. And now I'm nervous. I don't know. Is he there? Yeah, he's here. Yes, he's here. We're talking about Jay, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, here's the thing. Chris has actually, he's talked to her before, but he hasn't put her through because she calls. either almost every day or every day. Do you call every day? I mean, not on the weekends. Wow, that'd be hard to do. Chris, does she call every day? Yes. She calls every day. I'm not like a stalker. You're making me sound like a stalker. I just think there's something so sexy about a guy who is a family man, but he's also smart.
Smart, huh? Can I ask you a question? Ease up. Wow. Oh, boy. Really, you've got to tear apart my one. You know, Woods... Reap what you sow, man. You know, Woods, there is a woman out there that loves Jay, and her name is Kim, and I'm sure that Jay's going to take every opportunity right now to let... I know that he's a family man and he's married. That's not... It's just, like, if you have, like, a celebrity crush, it's like that. Like, I know it's not going to go anywhere. Did you see him on Wipeout? Yeah, he was on ABC's Wipeout, so. Absolutely. Do you know him from that, or do you know him from the Mikey show? Well, you know, according to Jay. I know him from the show, and then I've just kind of followed his career from there. Well, now, according to Jay, Jay gets recognized at Home Depot. Yes. He said that he went into Home Depot and the guy behind the counter said, don't I know you from television? And Jay said, well, was on Wipeout. I feel like what happened was, because this happens to, I'm sure, everyone in this room. At some point, someone goes, do I know you?
And he offered up, well... I am ABC's Wipeout. You might know me. I'm not wood. You might know me as one of the shock jocks from ABC's Wipeout. The good one. That's right. The fit one. The guy didn't even know the radio station. The not fat one. The fit one. He didn't know the radio. He didn't know the radio station. Elizabeth, what do you... Look like. Whoa, no. I didn't ask Elizabeth what she looked like. I didn't ask Elizabeth what she looked like. I can send a pig. Oh! You're married. Hey, I'm just looking. Fair enough. He likes to look. I like to look. I like to look. He loves to look. She sounds young. I'm very athletic, and I know you love surfing, Jay. I'm 26. I know you love surfing, and I've never surfed. Oh, hey. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Wait, wait. Elizabeth, that's perfect. You're 26. You could probably be best friends with Jay's daughter. Yeah, absolutely. I think she's 23. How old is your... 23. So she's older than my daughter, so it's still safe. That's the creepiest. My wife would divorce me when I got home with that comment. She's here staring holes at me, and I didn't even say anything. Oh, I know. She's just mad at me because I'm friends with Jay. Yeah, just for knowing him. Yeah. Don't you think like that, you son of a bitch. Well, Elizabeth, you sound like a really, really sweet girl. You sure do. And, you know, thank you. Call all the time. Just call Jay one last thing.
Yes. Jay, if you ever want to come over and help me make my own tennis ball cannon, you can. Because I've tried and it doesn't work. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. There is some sort of entendre there. And I don't like it, Elizabeth. I don't like it one bit. I'm serious. I can't say anything. He's a married man. All I'm going to say is I want to make sex to you. Yeah, I'm going to make sex to you so bad. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want... Read between the lines. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. L.O.B. I missed it. I missed it. Oh, my gosh. You dirty bird. L.O.B. What? I'm not saying. Oh, my gosh. She's a genius. She's making me want it. That's what Elizabeth's talking about, and I don't like it. Yeah, well, you know, that's fine. It's not Jay's fault that she said. I can't help. I have a lot of pent-up, you know, emotion because I've never... gotten through like this. And I've called so many times. Why have you not let her do this? Why would he? Because it's hysterical. Oh, my. Thank you, Elizabeth. Well, thank you for actually talking to me. And Jay, just, you know, my name's Elizabeth. Jay's shaking his head like... I'll be spending a lot of time in Office Depot from now on. It's Home Depot. It's Home Depot. I gotta go. All right. Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, wow. Jay was almost speechless. Wow. It doesn't really happen. It's the uncomfortable alarm. Holy crap. I didn't like that. I wonder what his wife is going to say to him when he gets home. He played into it a little bit. He played into it a little bit. Yeah, I'll come over. I'll bring my cannon. I'm not bringing my cannon. I'll show you how to make a tennis ball cannon. Get it? I'll use my cannon at home. Hey. Let's see. Way to go from that, Mike. What do you do? I just say shut it down. Just shut the mother down and just come back Tuesday ready to go. How are you and Jay doing today? Are you guys... We're good. We're good. Hugged it out yesterday. You did? Yeah, we're fine. There was a little tension between Woods and Jay. Always. There's always something with you two. What was the...
What was the thing that you wrote? Jay's been on a tear on Facebook. Yes, he has. What? I don't know what you're talking about. Well, first of all, he said something about me out of nowhere. And I was like, how did I get mixed up in this? But you said something on Woods' Facebook page the other day. Oh, well, his mom wrote, did you get the check I sent, honey? Would you write? And it was up there for like, I wrote sweet. He goes, aw, so sweet. It was only up there for like 10 minutes. He's such a D. You can't do that. She was treated like it was his email or something. I hate him. That's his mom. She's such a D. He's such a D. Did you get the check I sent you, honey? Oh, dude. He called me tight, but my mom's not sending me checks. You don't. step on the mom territory, Jay. Is he talking about my finances or my mother? Your finances. You deleted it. Of course I did. It was embarrassing. You deleted your mom's thing too. Yes, I deleted it and then I wrote on his page, get. Yeah, he did. My mom doesn't do Facebook, but I've seen moms embarrass people on Facebook before. I got a friend who's
mom writes stuff about vitamins and like for real like still taught he was an only child and I won't say his name Mike I won't say his last name though but his mom will still put stuff on his Facebook like telling him like a little kid he's 41 years old I'm glad Facebook wasn't around in college Because my mom would have been like, stop doing all the things that you're doing. Your mom put anything on your Facebook that's embarrassing? Thankfully, neither of my parents are on Facebook. My grandmother's on Facebook. And she writes sweet little stuff like that, but I don't get embarrassed. I think it's sweet. I'm surprised that your mom is so outgoing that she's not on Facebook. My mom wants to be on Facebook. My dad told her she's not allowed. Yeah. My dad gets furious with my mom for being on there. My dad, I think it's a two-fold thing. I think, number one, he's jealous because my mom is still smoking. She's still got it. She's still got it. And she always gets comments when she goes to the convenience store. My dad gets furious. You're very pretty, Mr. O'Brien. Back again. And people will say to him, you're a very lucky man.
Instead of taking that as a compliment, he gets furious. Let me ask you a question. May I arrange a marriage with your wife? No, she's married to me, pal. Okay. How much money would it take from my account to yours? You're not going to buy my wife here. Let's get the hell out of here. He's not coming back here anymore. So he didn't want her on there? He does not want her on there for that, and also I think that he doesn't understand it. So he does want her on there because he can barely type emails as it is. He takes him like 10 minutes to type like, hi, this is dad. Hope you're doing well. Love you. Didn't you say he writes the body of the message in the subject line? He will do. Of the email? I don't do it anymore, but I used to be on instant messenger. And I'd be like, hey, dad. And it would be like 10 minutes would go by. And then I'd be like, bloop. And it would come back, dear Lauren. And like this whole drawn out thing. Love ya, dad. Like, he didn't realize it was instant. Well, I've told you guys. I've told you guys that my brother, Mark, my oldest brother, he's like my dad. And he is like a dad. And whenever he writes me emails, they all begin with dear Mike, comma. Like, it's the strangest thing. Yeah, it's very formal. You're not dad, okay? Just call me hey pal or hey buddy. Dear Mike. Like, really? You can drop the deer. Yeah, Mike.
Colon. There you go. He feels that an email is like a written letter. Yes. Yeah. That you have to, you know, behave like it's a written letter. Now, L.O.B. has an aunt who's a huge M1. She listens every day. M1 Leanie Beanie. M1 Leanie Beanie. And she will write some embarrassing stuff about L.O.B. She put a fat-faced picture of me from high school up on the Mikey Show wall. Thank you very much. Didn't she say, look at the... Fat face on this one or something? I was like, oh, gosh. That is in our family on the Irish side. That's how we show each other we love each other, by poking fun at each other. By the way, if anybody is listening and you've ever got got by your mom or your dad on Facebook in an embarrassing, just embarrassing, 570-1949, anybody in our studio, if you have anything, always feel free to raise your hand and we'll let you go on the air. If you've had an embarrassing mom, like, post something on your Facebook wall. Well, that clown in there, J.R. Isbell, like you said, he's been on a tear. Somebody posted a picture of you in your Tommy Bahamas shirt. That was what it was. And he goes, well, that picture's way too skinny to be mine. Exactly. It's so subtle. I mean, so subtle. It's way too skinny. With a long A's. Yes. It's way too skinny. By the way, just to clarify, somebody posted a picture of me.
photoshopped onto a Tommy Bahama. No, no. It was like 10 years ago. It was you and your Tommy Bahama. No, it wasn't. When you were on that pilot, Tijuana Vice. I wasn't on a pilot. Weren't you, in fact? No. I think it was like Baja Vice. Baja Vice. Baja Vice. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. No, I don't. You don't know. No, I don't. I don't ever wear it. T-shirt looks pretty Tommy Bahama. It's a giant palm tree right on the front. It says TB under it. There are people in the studio. They can see there's no palm tree on the T-shirt. Is there not in that? Clap if there's a palm tree on that T-shirt. Georgia. Manipulate this poor studio audience. This poor, hapless studio audience that just wanted to be entertained today. They are. They are. 570. 194.9 is the number. This is M1 Castile from Escondido. What's up? Good. Hey, I got a American Facebook story. Both my parents are on Facebook, my mom and my dad. And my mom likes to post through my dad's Facebook. So she'll be on his and she'll post stuff on my Facebook like, hello, sweetie, snookum, honey. And it looks like it's coming from your dad. Yeah, I can look like my dad. All my friends are all, dude.
Your dad's like a Fruity McTree. So I had to call my mom. And they live in Arizona, so I don't get to see them that much. I'm like, you got to come visit me. I got to fix your Facebook. What the hell are you doing? They think dad's like, you know, Fruity McTree. It's so... Parents have a way, man. They will get you. Dude, well, parents and computers, man. Seriously, I spent... For about four hours, setting up iTunes for my dad. I'd given him iTunes gift cards four years ago. I went to scratch the thing off. All the things came off. All the letters and numbers. He's like, well, what do I do now? I'm like, I don't know. Use it when I got it for you. Right. Four hours to set up iTunes. Dude, I've had to write a very detailed instructional manual to my dad on how to burn a CD. Oh, yeah, because he can't do it every time he tries. My dad doesn't bother. He just mails it to me with notes on it, stacks of CDs, and then I've got to burn it for him and mail it back to him. Like, what will the notes say? Track number four, Mom will really like this one. You're making mixed CDs. Track number seven, Chris Christopherson. Did you know that he was in the trial? Oh, my God. That is awesome. M1 Rick is on the line from Escondido. You there, Rick? Yeah, I'm here.
What happened to you? We were on a family vacation, and I guess I didn't log out on my Facebook, and my sister went on there. And she went on my Facebook and wrote on there, tearing up watching 16 and Pregnant. That's great. I love you, Mom. That's great. Oh, my God. I didn't know until I got back. I always... comments from people like, really? Are you okay? I love it. The Facebook hack is a good bit. Can we make an agreement that we won't do it to each other? No, we will not. M1 Laura from Tierra Santa. Hi. When my mom found out I was having twins, she posted on my Facebook so everyone could see. I guess your husband has really good swimmers. Oh, wow. I couldn't believe it. Oh, wow. And I had to erase it right away. I was like, Mom, you can't do that. Everyone can see this. Mom, please don't talk about my husband's sperm. Please don't talk about my husband's sperm. Please don't talk about my husband's sperm. Thank you for the call. When we come back, I'm going to tell you about our day. And when I say our day, I mean me, Woods, L-O-B, Jay, even Chris. We were all wrapped up in the...
Tornado called Hurricane Woods' phone yesterday. Police were called. True story. Police were called. And we'll tell you all about it. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows free to go check out. Like this evening at the Del Mar racetrack, Fitz and the Tantrums will play for an FM 94.9 4 o'clock Friday. So go see Fitz and the Tantrums playing after the last race tonight at Del Mar.
Sunday, two big events. You can see Ben Harper at the Del Mar Racetrack Sunday or head downtown to El Dorado Cocktail Lounge for a keep abreast benefit. The Great American Showcase with a soft pack, the nervous records, the creepy creeps. It's going to be good. We've got two nights at Thievery Corporation and House of Blues on the 7th and 8th. Also on the 8th at the Casbah, the SD Music Thing kickoff party with Telekinesis. And on the 9th, the Agri-Lights play Belly Up with Bucko 9. September 11th isn't about the music show at the Casbah with Givers. And still to come this month, The Kills, Reverend Horton Heat, Switchfoot at Petco Park, TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys. Bush, Portugal the Man, and Peter, Bjorn, and John. That's this month alone. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Badges aren't given, they're earned.
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It's all free with racetrack admission for $20 after the last race. Check out Ben Harper this Sunday, September 4th, presented by Heineken, an 18 and up concert. Where the turf meets the surf at Del Mar. Where the turf meets the surf at Del Mar. Del Mar, cool as ever. Your brakes are the most important safety feature on your vehicle. If your brakes squeal, steering wheel vibrates, or car pulls from side to side during braking, it may be time for new brakes. At O'Reilly Auto Parts, we have the replacement brake parts you need in stock. From brake pads and shoes to drums and rotors, O'Reilly has the necessary hardware made specifically for your car or truck, all at guaranteed low prices. Right now at O'Reilly Auto Parts, you can save up to $30 on any combination of Wagner ThermoQuiet brake pads or shoes. Wagner ThermoQuiet parts are specifically engineered to deliver improved performance, longer life, and safer operation. Make the smart choice with Wagner ThermoQuiet and save up to $30 after manufacturer's mail-in rebate. Keep your vehicle on the road and your family safe with new brakes from O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. This is the sound of Jim.
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This report brought to you by NAPA. This September, stop into any participating NAPA Auto Parts store or NAPA Auto Care Center. Receive up to a $50 mail-in rebate with the purchase of qualifying NAPA auto brakes. Okay, let's see. We've got a backup here on the 125 northbound Grossmont College Drive, 21 miles an hour. Also, there's a ladder here on the 8 eastbound before Mission Center Road. It's in the middle of lanes. And some backup as you travel on the 94 westbound Kentwood Drive to Sweetwater Springs Boulevard. This report also brought to you by... 99 cents only stores start with a school with an a plus in savings by shopping 99 cents only stores pick up 64 pack of crayons a 30 pack of markers and jumbo calculators for only 99.99 cents each i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 tell me what the world looked like to you when you first opened your eyes back to the mikey show with mikey reason i've never been comfortable around kids i'm always petrified they're gonna go you're short and fat You don't skimp on hair products. You don't skimp on haircuts. You don't skimp on DJs, designer jeans. And you don't skimp on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. Don't hate me. I'm not. You just love each other. You're not. You're spinning me out. Spinning me out. Why? Because... What is this? What is this? Yep. This is Death Cab. Oh, it's Death Cab for Cutie.
Everyone knows this song except for Mike. Raise your hand if you've ever heard this song. There's some people that haven't heard it. One. No? Two. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Hurricane Woods. Hurricane, yeah. Hurricane Woods' phone swept through yesterday. Woods said after the show, where's my phone? Now, when I first heard him say, where's my phone? The first thing that I thought was, oh boy, were the Jay bits. Me too. Instantly. For a long time thereafter, I actually was like, come on, Jay, cut it out. I'm telling you that up until the point where the phone was discovered, I still thought there was a chance that Jay might go, got all y'all again. Yeah. Kind of like what you did with my food. You take my food and hit it.
It wasn't your food. It wasn't your food. Once you box it up to go, it becomes yours. It was Jersey Mike's food. He didn't want it anymore. So you can't just go to the supermarket and box it up and be like, hey, it's mine. It's my food. Once nobody else has taken it, it's mine. So yesterday, Woods, he says, yeah, my phone's gone, and we begin a search for the phone. I don't know why, but for whatever reason, initially, it was making me anxious. It was like I was living it with Woods, too. I was as anxious as he was. And then it started to occur to us, maybe someone that was in our audience took the phone, which really started to spin me out because I was like, oh, man, that means not only.
Is your phone gone? But that means that all of our phone numbers and addresses and all that stuff is out there, too. And so now we're all kind of worried. We're looking around. We're searching things. We're tearing stuff apart. Garbage. Looking through the garbage. I looked in the recycling bin just in case. Woods' garbage is disgusting. Yeah, it is. A bunch of dip cups in there. I felt bad because Woods goes in. We're in the men's room. And Woods is. taking out trash and I hear him going wet paper towels from the thing and I'm like oh my god throwing them on the floor and looking just seeing if somebody's doing something to me trying to hurt me so Chris as usual is the hero I mean come on he comes in and he's like hey guys check this out And he's got his laptop. And he had taken a photograph of Woods with a listener. Because one of the things that was in question yesterday was, oh, man, did Woods even have his phone today? Are you sure you brought it? And then he started to second guess himself. Like, gosh, I don't know. Mike and I walked down to my car, looked in my car. L.O.B. is like, dude, I remember you having it. Jay, I remember seeing it. 351 shows. It's been in one spot right here. Yeah. You know, right next to me on my right every day.
Yeah. And so because it was gone, did he bring it? Did he not bring it? Are we just chasing our tails? So Chris has a photograph and he is able to zoom in on this photograph. And Woods has his arm around a listener. And in this tiny space in between the two of them in the background, you can see his phone sitting on the counter. And we knew that this guy. was the last guy that had been in the studio that day. And so we wrote him an email and we said, hey, did you happen to pick this thing up on mistake? And he wrote back right away. He said, no, I didn't. You know, I don't have it. Blah, blah, blah. But the thing is, is that the guy, as a joke, had dressed up like Woods yesterday. I mean, down to everything Woods was wearing. Huge dip of snuff in. Backwards hat. Yes. Breasts. He added breasts. A sports bra with padding stuffed in there. Some would call them pectorals. I would call them breasts. Right. And a belly. Yes. And so because he had worn this outfit, he didn't check that. And then he did. And when he did, he realized he has an iPhone, too. He picked your phone up on mistake. Put it in his back pocket.
On accident, went home, changed into his work shorts. When he gets the email, he's checking the shorts he's wearing. And he's going, no, I didn't take it. Right. And I'm like, holy cow, man. I'm like, I don't think he did it on purpose. I think it was an accident. Yeah. Accidents happen. Yeah. But when I heard back, and he was very worried. You know, he's a big, big fan. And he's like, I promise. I swear to God I didn't take your phone. I'm like, I believe you. I totally believe you. So Ryan, my brother-in-law, he's like, we got to go back up to the studio. I'll find it. So we come back up here, 30 miles back. Yeah. Tear this place apart again. Yeah. We're driving home and I finally, I go, you know what? I'm over it. I'm just going to go home. I'm going to get a new phone and I'm over it. It's lost. It's gone. Whatever. Somebody took it. I don't care. Yeah. Phone rings. It's him. The guy. Daniel. How did he have the number? He had Ryan's number because I had called him from it. And he calls. And he goes, would he? I go, yeah. And he goes, I've got your phone. He called from your phone? No, he did not. He called from his phone to Ryan's, which is what I had talked to him on earlier. And I was like, you've got it. And he's like, it was in my back pocket of my other shorts. And again, real quick, how did he have Ryan's number? Because he sent me an email saying, I heard you're missing your phone.
I heard you guys think I might have it. Here's my number. Please call me. I'm very worried. Oh, okay. So I called him from Ryan's home because I didn't have a phone. Got it. And so he had that number and he called me and he goes, Woodsy, I've got your phone. And I, the feeling of elation was like, it was unbelievable. I was like, and he's like, I promise I didn't do it on purpose. I'm like, dude, don't sweat it. Just meet me at a gas station. Got it back. All good. Yeah. But it was, I felt it's really scary to lose your phone because you're like, you know. It's your life in there. It's everything. Well, nowadays, your phone is not just a phone. No, it doesn't just make phone calls. It's basically a laptop. Yeah, it is. And it's a laptop, and it's also your photo album. And your address book. And your address book and everything. I was just home in Texas, and I have, I don't know, a million pictures of my nephew. And that was the main thing I was worried. I was like, man, I'm never going to have those pictures back again. Plus, like, the dirty pictures you took of yourself. Right. All those. All those cell dongs that I take. Right. That had you crying, going, I'm never going to see those again. Right. And what will I do? Right. Can't recreate a lot of that. Yeah, I mean, I'm a huge cell donger. So I was very, very concerned about that stuff getting out. Strangely enough, you sent a lot of those.
To Brett Favre. That is a true statement. Which is weird. Yeah, it's weird too. But we found the phone and he, when I met him, was really, he was like, and you know, I gave him a big hug. I was like, don't sweat it. It's all good. I got the phone back. You know, it's great. School is... for a lot of kids if it already hasn't. Has it started for your kids yet? Yep. They're all in. Or Jasper's in. When I was a kid, it was always after Labor Day. Right. That was the mark. It was your big blowout weekend, Labor Day. Yeah. What grade is Jasper in? Third. Third grade. Jake begins kindergarten next week. Oh my gosh. Very excited. Yeah, yeah. But this is what I was wondering. You know how you get A list of what you got to get for school. 12 sharpened pencils. Protractor. Yes. Pre-pocketed folders. Yes. That's a protractor for. Angles. I never used it. You measure angles. But we never did. You have geometry. They didn't have math back then. No, they just counted stones. They had an abacus. Yeah. Bring your abacus. You're right. To school.
Did that list have a name or anything? No, it was school supplies. Yeah. And I would always push for the Trapper Keeper. My mom wanted the just solid white binder that would break three weeks in. El Cheapo. I'm sorry. Your mom is upsetting me right now. She's cheap. Gosh, darn. Very generic. So what I want to know is how much has it changed? So I want parents to call. And tell us, well, what's on there now? Is it like computer stuff? iPad. Yeah. What are the chances that Jay's child Jasper has an FM 94.9 backpack with pens from here? Yes. It's a Pits and a Tantams backpack. Yeah. It is a free backpack, but he's had it for years. He's like, hey, dad, the boo ball, the boo ball backpack that you got me. I mean, really, with the boo ball? I remember the most expensive, like, we had to get a T-85 or something like that, the Texas instrument. Oh, yeah. And you had to get that for, like...
pre-cal or whatever it was, my mom was like, you know, it was like a $90 calculator. And she's like, they're getting out of hand in this school. Getting ridiculous. A calculator? She's like, how am I supposed to get a generic version of this? You can't. They were very specific because you had to have certain formulas. Oh, I bet that drove her nuts because she couldn't do this. My dad was like, I have a perfectly good calculator. Oh, the perfectly good bit. I went to a conference and there's a built-in calculator in this portfolio. Oh, my gosh. How many of us had to hear the words perfectly good? Makes you want to hang yourself. Yeah. You have a perfectly good pair of sneakers now. You don't need the Bo Jackson cross trainers, pal. Oh, my gosh. These are from James Way. I don't know if they had James Way. Look. I got this calculator from our insurance guy. He sends this one every year. Dad, it's solar powered. This is fine. It doesn't work. It was the worst. Yeah, Dad, I don't want to have to go out on a non-cloudy day to be able to do arithmetic. But anyway, call us 570-1949. What's a list to look like now? Yeah. What are you supposed to be taking now?
Anybody here have any kids that they're sending to school? No, no, no. Everybody's... Yeah? He's still in school. What grade? 11th? So come over to the microphone and tell me what... Do they give you a list or no? As of right now, I don't know. I just went to orientation, but usually we find out on the first day of school. Okay, so you haven't got it yet. No. What about last year? Last year, it was kind of like the same thing. The first day of school, you go to every teacher, they'll give you a piece of paper. Oh, every teacher. Yeah. Oh, so every teacher had a different thing they wanted you to get? Yeah, like sometimes some teachers wanted you to get a different kind of binder. Yeah. A separate binder or a separate book? Happy birthday, man. Yeah, happy birthday, Mr. Johnson. Thanks for back pain. Yeah. Do you guys still have to cover your books? Do you even still have books in school? Yeah. Do they have books?
Yeah, but, I mean... Do you have to cover them? Or is it all in your watch? Like, the books are in your watch now? You're like, you don't have to do that anymore? Like, the first day of school, you get your big-ass textbook, and they're like, all right, we're not starting until everybody covers their books. I used to get, if you didn't have your book covered, you'd get a detention. I had, like, 11 detentions. It's a true story. What did you cover your book in? Well... First, I covered it in what they gave me, which was the big one. It had the school calendar, the football calendar on it, pictures. Then I thought, well, I'm going to cover it in a brown garbage bag. That's what we did. So that I can write Led Zeppelin on it. And, you know, Woods plus Kim forever. The grocery store paper bags, right? Oh, yeah. My mom would do it and the label would be on the outside. So I would say, like, ShopRite. Your mom's a monster. We had leftover wallpaper. So one year it was wallpaper. Oh, my gosh. One year it was her dad's old boxer shorts. They just slid right over. Well, so there are people in the studio right now that did not hear the story yesterday. And so I want to retell this story if you didn't hear it. Poor Lauren. She told us this story yesterday and I was like.
Oh, my gosh. I felt bad. I told her, I go, I was still thinking about it late yesterday afternoon. Yes. You tell. You were turning 13. Turning 13. And there was an Italian restaurant that my family would often frequent in town for special occasions. And the deal every year used to be on your birthday was my mom would make anything you wanted. My mom is a damn good cook. So, you know, that was always good enough. But then she was like, this year for your 13th birthday, you get to go anywhere you want. You get to pick. Yeah, you get to pick. And I was like, oh, we're going to Lamberti's, son. And so I had in my head all week, all day, I knew I was going to get the chicken parm with the fettuccine Alfredo. And I was going to enjoy every last bite of it. And so we get to the restaurant and I'm all ready to order. And the waitress is like handing out like the menus. And she's like, my mom's like, she'll take the kid menu. And kid menu is for kids 12 and under. Clearly I was now 13. So I was not, didn't want the kid. I was like, but I'm 13. My mom was like, no, that's good. You can get, you can get something from the kid menu. By the way, kid menu, like four items. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Penne with butter, spaghetti and meatballs, four ravioli. And then like pizza slice. You know what I mean?
Pizza slice with a kid salad. So I went back and forth and I cried and the waitress is like, shall I come back? Oh, my God. She's getting the spaghetti and meatballs. And then she was like, I'll give you some of mine. I was like, oh, oh, my God. And all like it's it's a twofold deal. Right. A. The whole point is I'm now 13. I'm a grown up. It's my birthday. I'm a teenager. That's the whole point. And then she said that her mom was like, oh, well, great. I guess you're just going to ruin the whole. Ruin it for everybody. Ruin it for everybody. But it's my birthday. My mom was like, you better put a smile on that face. Oh, my gosh. And then we had to stay. I was crying. There was tears dripping in my spaghetti and meatballs. I don't blame you. I had no appetite because I was like. And I was just pushing it around with my fork and not eating it with my other hand up to my face. And then we had to sit around for the free dessert and have the whole staff sing happy birthday to me. The other people in the restaurant were like... Monstrous. Just let your kids get what they want. Please. 570-1949. M1 Johnny is on the line from San Diego. You there, Johnny?
What's going on, Mikey? Not too much, man. So what is the new bit now with your kids? So my daughter's a freshman at Eastlake High, and they have an e-book option. So they have class sets of books. They don't have to carry around books in their backpacks all day. And if they want, you sign up for e-books. And so when they're home, they just get online, and they go to the online library, and they have all their textbooks. Do they have to buy them or are they free? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're free. That's cool. Wow. That's cool. And then the other little techie stuff that she has to have, like she has to have a thumb drive for every class and like a six gig. Wow. Must have at least a six gig memory stick. What grade again? Freshman. Freshman. It's changed, my brother. It has changed. A little bit. When I was in college. I found out what the Internet was, I think, my junior year of college. It was like, that's the greatest thing ever. Oh, my gosh. I mean. It was dial-up. Yeah, totally dial-up. And now you can get lectures online in college. If you miss a lecture, you just go watch it. Hey, listen. I know people have heard this a million times. What do you need? What do we need math for? All kinds of stuff, dude. It pretty much runs the world. I know, but. Did you say, what do we need math for? Okay, let me be specific.
Maybe the algebra class for. It helps. Does it? It does. Oh, yeah, because you often pie, you know, things. I will still do, to try to figure out, like, how fast I have to drive to get to a place that I know is, like, you know, a certain amount of miles away, I'll still use an algebra equation. That's crazy, because I Google it. Well, no, but I have to break the speed limit. I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to average 80 if I want to get there in five hours. I will use algebra. Why don't you just go MapQuest? No, if you MapQuest, it'll tell you how long it'll take you if you go the speed limit. But say I've got to try to get somewhere in a certain amount of time. I'm like, all right, I got to go 80 or I got to go 90 or I got to push 100. Okay, so you're saying that algebra helped you.
To figure out that you need to go 100 miles an hour. Yeah. Or if something's on sale for like 20% off or something like that. Oh, the percentage bit. That's true. I try, but I still can't figure it out. Let's make some noise in our studio. Let's have you finish this sentence. Call us right now at 570-1949. The funniest thing I ever saw my best friend do in public was... Call us right now, 570-1949. Hey, I want to let you know that they got the GoPhone going on with AT&T. I'm talking about the GoPhone Unlimited. Unlimited talk, text, and the web, and it's only 50 bucks a month. 50 bucks a month on the nationwide network, and it's really good, man. So here's what we're talking. First of all, the phone itself is great. If you're the type of person and...
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Your trade will never be worth more. Bring it in now and get total savings up to $7,000. The Celethon offers absolutely and Labor Day. So hurry to your San Diego County Ford dealer. Trade-in bonus cash available to customers who trade in a 1995 or newer car, truck, or SUV. Ford Motor Credit financing required for trade-in cash and bonus cash. Available only on select models. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 9511. See dealer for qualifications and complete details. He holds a shell up to his ear. He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates.
And it is glorious. The most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Who has the best back-to-school event in the business? Depot does! Office Depot is committed to helping businesses and kids succeed. So we're announcing even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items. That means big savings on everything on your back-to-school list. Who has the new stuff, like erasable highlighters in vibrant colors and glitter gel glue? Depot does. Who has the hottest backpacks and hot calculators? Depot does. And who has even lower prices on 75 top back-to-school items? Office Depot does. Plus weekly specials you won't believe. This week only at Office Depot. Fiskar Scissors, just $1.
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This report is brought to you by Lowe's. Choose 18-month special financing on purchases of $299 or more with your Lowe's consumer credit card. N95 can't be combined with 5% off everyday credit offer. See your store for details. Well, the 15 southbound before Deer Springs Road, there's an injury accident there. Six car crash, one of them overturned. All the lanes are blocked. You'll probably want to use Champaign Boulevard as an alternate route. The 805 southbound at University Avenue, an accident there. It's a hit and run in lanes. And you've got some slowing here on the 56 westbound between the 15 and the 5. This report brought to you by California's Citrus Pest and Disease Prevention Program. A dangerous neighbor could be moving in the pest. It can carry a disease that will kill your citrus trees. Visit CaliforniaCitrusThreat.org to learn more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZ San Diego. Do I know you? Mikey. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Welcome. Dude. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you? On FM 94.9.
We've got Mikey's show live in here. We've got a live studio audience. And I want to say thank you to Chili's who brought some delicious food in here today. And let's see. Where do I got that? Here it is. Let's see. Chili's. They've got party platters, and they give the guests the ability to share food with a southwestern flair. It is good, too. They have like these egg rolls, like these Southwestern egg rolls. Southwestern egg rolls. So good, man. It's a flour tortilla with smoked chicken, black beans, corn, jalapeno jack cheese, red peppers, spinach, and they serve it with an avocado ranch dressing. And then they got wings over buffalo, chicken crispers. Good stuff, man. Really good stuff. So thank you to Chili's for bringing that in here. So over the past few years, these have been what MSNBC has deemed the worst movies. This year, it was Just Go With It, the Adam Sandler movie that was being filmed in Hawaii when I was there. I watched 10 minutes of it and turned it off. Terrible, terrible. It's the one with Brooklyn Decker. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Your wife is here. She is right over there. Okay, well.
In 2010, worst movie, Sex and the City 2. 100. Not that I would know, but I heard. I still haven't even seen it. I heard it was. Saw it twice. Did you just say that you saw it twice? Yep. Oh, yeah, Woodsy. Mm-hmm. Wow. Look at you. Why'd you watch it twice? Well, because I watched it with the missus one day, and we really didn't like it. And then we thought. Maybe if we gave it another chance, it would be a little bit better, and it just wasn't. Because I really enjoyed... Nice Bieber. I agree. I really enjoyed the first one. Nice Bieber. Yes. That's a true statement. 2009, the worst movie was The Ugly Truth. What was that? Gerard Butler. I think it was that romantic comedy. Remember that he... Probably Aniston, maybe. Catherine Heigl. Heigl. Okay. And the year before that, the love guru. Mike Myers. Remember that? I didn't see it. I remember that. I remember the previews for it. It looked so bad. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the Carolina Panthers have named their starting quarterback. Guess who it is? It's number one draft pick.
Cameron R. Newton. Yeah. Guy played pretty well last night through a touchdown pass and said, hey, listen, even though I've been given this position, it doesn't stop here. I can't just sit back and say I've arrived. We've got a long way to go. The record begins now. Should be interesting to watch this guy play. He's got a lot of talent and we'll see what he does. Also, Ohio State has suspended three more players for Saturday's opener against Akron as a result of NCAA rules violations. You remember, they've gotten in a lot of trouble. Getting free tattoos, signing stuff, you know, getting all kinds of benefits. Well, three more players have been suspended from game one. Wow. Yep. Let's see. M1 Brittany from Escondido. Are you there? The funniest thing that you ever saw your best friend do in public was what? He tried to fake a drunken... He tried to fake a fake drunk and get a free ride home. Did it work? No. When they realized the security was around him, he looked up and he said, do I get a free ride home? And they said, no. Oh, wow. 570. Thank you. 570-1949. That one didn't get me. But that doesn't mean, hang on, before you slay me with your eyes, you're killing me with your daggers. Woods is about to explode with laughter just from what I just said. What? Why are you? That's funny. Okay, listen.
Here's the deal. The funniest thing. Oh, L-O-B with the uh. Mean. Oh, gosh. 570-1949. You took your call. I didn't realize. It's one of those stories that you kind of have to see it. I got a good one. I've told it before, and you guys know how we always go, easy there, you know, whatever. And my friend, Rob Mastros, is a tall Greek gentleman, about 6'2". Yeah. Walked with his backpack up real high, and we used to walk to class. And we're walking down the street, and there's these three black kids, and they're standing on the street. And we're walking to class. One of them starts imitating him, okay? He pulls his, like, hands up like he's walking real high. Well, there's a grocery store up where we were in Chicago called Menards. And this kid had a Menards shirt on because he worked there. So he's imitating my friend Bobby. Bobby goes, easy there, Menards. I almost peed my pants. It's where I got that whole thing from. And his boys started clowning him. It said Menards and then his name. Easy there, Menards.
Dude. Dude. I was dying laughing. You got me with one of those. Yeah. You got me in public with one of those. This guy screamed at Woods that was on a bike. And Woods wasn't even doing anything wrong. It was a girl. It was a lady. It was a lady. And we were going to Dog Beach and parking on the side of the road. Which is, there's parking there. You can park there. Yep. Woods didn't do anything wrong. And this lady was on a bike and she was like hogging up the whole thing and was mad at Woods for being alive and parking. Right. And gave Woods this look. She said. Oh. The F word. Oh, she did? She goes, something about move your effing car. And you weren't doing anything wrong. I didn't do anything. Just parked, man. I wanted to take my dogs to the beach. And I'm, me and my brother had just got there. And we were on the sidewalk, and Woods goes, easy, Lance Armstrong. I was pissed. It was one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed. The easy bit will get you, dude. Easy is funny. M1 Diet Cokehead from Kearney Mesa, how you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? Good. I have a little bit of a cold, so. It's all right. Okay, so when I lived in Jersey, L-O-B. Yeah. Go to the Wawa.
You know it. We went to Bartucci's L.O.B. again. Which I used to work there. You did? Uh-huh. We went for dinner, and as we're walking out, the hostess goes, okay, well, have a good night. And he turns around, and he goes, don't tell me what to do. That's awesome. I was so embarrassed because it was right across the street from my work, so we would go there all the time. And I started cracking up, but the look on her face, I was totally embarrassed. That's fantastic. It was awesome. That's fantastic. Thank you, Diet Cokehead. Have a good day. You feel better, you little angel. Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell us what to do. Thank you. Bye. This one says, this is M1 Nibbler. He says, funniest thing I've seen my friend do in public. We were driving. and the light was about to turn red, and he wasn't slowing down. That's until he noticed one of San Diego's finest sitting at the cross street. He locked up the brakes, and we slid halfway into the intersection on a red light. He then put it in reverse and went back and waited, and the officer just shook his head and laughed at us. It was great. Oh, my gosh. When you get the cop to look at you like,
You're so stupid, I'm not even going to pull you over. It's pretty fantastic. Now, this is great. I got two great pieces of audio here for you. The first one is, and initially I think that you're going to have the urge to go, greetings, nerd. But I want you to give it a chance. This kid is about 16 years old. You'll hear for sure when you hear the piece of audio. He created, he won a contest. Because he created a device that can tell if there are nuclear devices inside of cargo. He's 16 years old. This device can tell us what's in a cargo container. Is that a pretty accurate way of saying it? What is this? Yes. Basically, what I've built here is a way for the Department of Homeland Security. Woods? L-O-B? L-O-B? To verify the contents of cargo containers. So basically, whether it be nuclear weapons, nuclear materials, even explosives or potentially chemical warfare agents. I'd be able to tell you with this device if it's in a cargo container. So you're 16 years. It's, dude, it looks like the backpack that they wore in Ghostbusters. He sounds precisely as I expected him to have found. Has he ever felt a breast? Wait a second. Dude. One breast. Listen, I'm telling you.
This thing looked badass. I believe that. It really did. I believe it, too. It did. So you're, I guess, what, a sophomore in high school or something like that, and they're going to give you money to keep working on that. It's exciting. They want to see this device where you have two panels. Come on. You're laughing all the way to the bank, dude. He'll see a lot of breasts in about 20 years. And the truck carrying a cargo container would drive through it, and it would alert the operator if it sees something suspicious. Everybody in the world that's watching at home wants to know how in the world world how does a 16 year old or anybody come up with an idea like this yeah well nuclear science is my passion when i was about 10 years old how does that how does that happen nuclear science is his passion you don't hear that a lot no you don't and i'm gonna tell you right now i'll be the first to tell you could save this clip nuclear uh is not my passion nuclear devices science nuclear science is not my passion It never has been. Never will be. Never will be. I don't know. People ask me that all the time, and I think I should come up with a smart answer, but I don't know. When I was about 10 years old, I just had this spark and decided that I was interested in radioactive and nuclear stuff, and so I decided I would build this, which is a nuclear fusion reactor. He's...
Brilliant. Well, there's no question. And he's going to make a jillion dollars. Sounds just like the kid on my bus that said he built a time machine and it was a box. Sounds exactly like that kid. It was a box. That's fantastic. It was a box. A box. A refrigerator box in his garage. It's a time machine. All right, Peter Pan. You should grow up. All right. You want me to read the stuff I have to order? Very much, Mike. Showed this to Woods during the break. I had to make myself a note this morning of the things that I'm out of and what I need to order. For? Oh, man. For what? Like what? Like your office? Your grocery list? I'll just read it. I don't have to say what it is for. It'll speak for itself. Yeah, pretty loudly. I either need to get, whichever is available, Polo Sport or Vera Wang for Men lotion. I'm not going to read the list. Please read it. Please read it. You lost me at Vera Wang. That she made women's dresses. I said the same thing, and he said, no, no, no, they have a men's line. I said, okay. What else? I need Dermalogica Daily Clean Scrub. Who doesn't? I need Sharp's Daily Prep Concentrated Foaming Wash. Anthony Astringent Pads. I need a new bottle of Selex C Serum.
I need some new Malin and Goetz bergamot body wash or any type of body wash. Isolate on that. I need... Straight isolate. Straight. Do you want me to... No, no, no, no. Don't scare the bunny away. I won't. I won't. But what was it again? The last one. Malin and Goetz bergamot body wash. And testosterone. All right. All done. Come on. That's not done. It's not over. There's more stuff on there. Just keep it quiet, Jay. Just let it flow. Sigma skin abdominal skin toning cream. All right, fine. That's it then. I'm not saying a word. He is laughing out loud. Stop it. We've got Bush. Abdominal toning skin cream? It worked. Leave it to Beaver. Shut it.
Murad Mattifier and John Varvatos Mattifier. Why do you need two Mattifiers? Because one of them has got an SPF. Why not always wear the SPF? Why not just use the SPF one? Because it doesn't work very good as a Mattifier. Do I have to explain it to you? Yes. I'm really curious. So curious. All right. It's a moisturizer. Okay. What about the bergamots? That's a body wash. Oh. Okay. And the bergamot is the smell. What about the Polo Sport and the Vera Wang? That's a lotion. Ah. What about the Celexi serum? Serum. That goes on first. Then I put it on my face. The tightener? No. That's the serum. No. The serum is first. And then the Celexi makes a gel that goes on after. Nice beaver. You're clearly gay. There's nothing really else to say about that. Do I or do I not have nice skin? You do. You do. I hope to keep it. Well, that's because you have big jobs. Shut it. Shut it. Shut it. Bring on the big one. What's the last thing? The Hilux and Bremen eye cream. Hello, Miss Lady. I thought that the Hilux and Bremen was discontinued. Is they still making that? Hilux and Bremen.
Sounds illegal. It's going to be my daughter's name. I know. Ilexen Bremen. Ilexen Bremen. Asparza. Ilexen. Mikey, that is fantastic, and I love you for sharing it because it's so great. It's not even the whole list of what I use in the morning. Right. It's just what I'm out of. This is why you wake up at 1.30 in the morning and arrive at 5. Hey, I have nice skin, right? Right? I mean, my skin's okay, and I don't do half that. It's okay. It's not great. Listen. I use Cornhuskers lotion. I know you do. Very manly. I know. It's for Cornhuskers. I use Burt's Bees. Great. My wife doesn't spend a tenth of what I spend on my face. Money or time-wise? Or both? Probably both.
Probably both. I have some expensive products, too. I share a lot of that. Listen, if you could make a double order, bring me in a box of the same stuff, I would take it with a huge smile on my face. Hey, listen. All I know, they're never going to advertise. I've tried to get them to advertise. They're like, why do I have to advertise? You talk about us. Exactly. I've given up. I've given up trying to get them, so I'll just give out their stupid website. Grooming Lounge. The greatest guy website for... Stuff. Did you try to spite them and be like, fine, then I don't need you for like a second? No. You need them. He's not an idiot. You need them more than they need you. I do need them. That is a true fact. But the guy, you know, I tried to get them to advertise because I was like, I talk about them so much, they should be paying for it. Right. So I contacted the guy and he's like, oh, you're Mikey? I'm not kidding you. And I go, yeah, this is like the president of the company.
He goes, you're Mikey. And I said, yeah. And he goes, we get so much business from San Diego. Perfect. He said, the business they get from San Diego is like through the roof. So as gay as all this stuff is, there's a lot of dudes that hear it and they go to grooming lounge. Yeah, it works. Oh, yeah. And so I said, well, why don't you advertise with us? And he's like, eh, you know, I'm not really, you know, I'm not. Yeah, you don't need it. I'm doing it on the house. Yeah, they don't need it. Price on the house. I guess. That's all good stuff you got there. I'm telling you, man. I have my new bit. Well, it's my hair. I have longer hair now, so I have to condition. Show everybody. Oh, yeah. Take off that cap. There you go. Look at that. There he is. It's longer than it's ever been. That's right. How about that? Think of a longer, stronger hair. You do. I do use Ovation. Ovation. $50 conditioner. Do you really? His wife is in here shaking her head. It's true. It's not yours, Jamie? No. It's his. Remember when I went to get my deep condition at the salon? Wait, wait, wait, though. I have a question about that, though. You wear a baseball cap every day. What's the point of conditioner if you wear a baseball cap every day? I like it to feel good and smell good.
But you wear a baseball cap. How is it going to feel good? Because when I run my hands through it. Run your hands through that elevator. What's that do for you? Great. Dynamite. It's very important to have well-conditioned hair. When you come home, do you pop the cap off right away and just let it flow? Pretty much. $50. Here's the deal. When I went up to the counter, right, you know what they do? They're terrorists in there. They put a real cute girl back there and they're like, she's like, you need this. And the lady, the girl that's there, you need this and this. Shame you. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I got it. Yeah, I got a hundred bucks for shampoo. Give me four. I'll take four of those. Yeah, because I can. I can do it. I'll take six. I do it too. It's just like. They break you down and then they pump you up because they're like, oh, wow, this is dry. What have you been using? Well, let me tell you. If I ever started a company like that, my bit would be to do it the cheapest way that I possibly could and then just charge $100. Because if you do, people think that because it's expensive, it's better. Are people not convinced that if something is expensive, it's better? We're just convinced of that. I don't know why. Not me. Oh.
Please. If it's generic, it's just the same. Some stuff, some stuff, some stuff. I'm fine with some generic stuff. Nothing. I don't need $9 mustard. I can buy a dollar mustard. Electronic stuff, I think that the most expensive thing is probably the best. Yes. But when it comes to like any products where the ingredient, if it says compare to and they're next to each other, I'm going to go with the generic. Okay. The nine cents different that you're paying. is so that you don't have to taste something disgusting as the pill goes down your throat. Yeah. Seriously. It's more than nine cents. The CVS brand compared to like brand name Advil, that little candy coating they put on the outside. It's better. Yeah, that's so you don't taste chalk as you're... I can handle it. I can handle it. Gross. Hey, let's hear it from our live studio audience in here. Don't go away. We still got new movies and... There's a guy in Illinois. All he did was film the police. He filmed them. And because he filmed them, he's looking at, not jail time, prison time. How many years? Just wait. How's our chance? Let's do it! More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that.
Hey, it's Hillary, and today at noon on FM 94.9, we're doing Desert Island Discs. So what three records would you have to have with you if you were stranded on a deserted island? Are you the Bob Marley sublime Johnny Cash type? Or wouldn't Arcade Fire Radiohead James Addiction Trio float your boat or your raft? I don't care if you pick Black Flag, Melt Banana, and Celine Dion. All right, let's not go that far. Tell us your three favorite records now at fm949sd.com and listen today at noon. Desert Island Discs on FM 94.9. Morning, Joe. Morning, Miss Thompson. One of these days, it's going to happen. Somebody's going to try to talk you out of boar's head. Joe, I'd like a half pound of that boar's head turkey. I got something for you, Mrs. T. It's a new turkey on special. It's not boar's head, Joe. Well, they tell me it's kind of like boar's head. It's not boar's head, Joe. It's almost boar's head. It's not boar's head. Do it for me, huh? What do you say? What do I say? It's not boar's head. Yeah, I know. So I take it this boar's head is what you want, huh? That's what I like about you, Joe. You catch on quick. Everyone knows boar's head oven gold is the best turkey in America. But to get it, sometimes you have to insist.
Ask them to show you the Boar's Head branded on the turkey itself. In other words, demand the brand. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. Hey, want to let you know? Sunglass and Optical Warehouse is the number one source for sunglasses. Have been for over 20 years here in San Diego. So, if you're looking for sunglasses, that is the place to go. By the way... Got an email from a guy that did not hear this. And so I want to make sure that I tell you so you do not miss out on this like he did because he didn't hear it. If you go to fm949sd.com, you can print out a 20% off coupon for Sunglass and Optical Warehouse. In this guy's case, it would have saved him $40. So go to fm949sd.com.
And print that thing out. You definitely want to get that 20% off savings and go down there and get yourself the coolest pair of shades there is. And they got over 7,000 pair of all the designer brands. So go down there and check them out. You want them? They got them? Go get them. Love the thrill of a major find? You're in luck. Bloomingdale's Big Brown Bag Sale is going on now with serious savings on so many must-haves. The big deals? An extra 40% off our great mix of permanently reduced women's fashions for a total savings of 50 to 75%. Save 50% on a lovely selection of fine jewelry and 25 to 30% on a selection of essential fall shoes. Get deals for him too. 25 to 65% savings on a selection of suits, sport coats, trousers, dress shirts, ties, and more. For hosts, hostesses, and homebodies, find everything you need from kitchen electrics and cookware to fluffy towels and designer bedding. A great selection at 20 to 65% savings. Find this good? Go fast. So get to the Big Brown Bag Sale bright and early. Going on now, only at Bloomingdale's. Certain designer and brand exclusions apply. Savings off regular, original, and already reduced prices. Intermediate markdowns may have been taken. Sale ends September 5th. Fire up the grill. And grab your favorite beverage.
Your Labor Day celebration starts at Vons with long weekend daily deals every day from now through Labor Day. Today's daily deal, chips and soda. Today only with Vons Club. Two liters of Pepsi or 7-Up are just 89 cents each, plus CRV in California, selected varieties limit two. And Tostitos tortilla chips are $1.79 each, selected varieties limit two. Come into Vons every day now through Labor Day to load up on amazing daily deals. Vons has everything for your Labor Day weekend. This week with Vons Club, pick up Rancher's Reserve New York strip steak bone-in for $4.77 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. And 12-packs of Pepsi or 7-Up are buy two, get three of equal or lesser value free. Plus, CRV in California's selected variety is must-buy five, limit six free for transaction. It's been a great summer, so stop by Vons for the long weekend daily deals and Vons Club specials to celebrate its final days. Vons, ingredients for life. Here at the Coors Brewery. Our viewpoint hasn't changed in nearly 140 years because right outside our window is a stunning view of the Rockies, the only place legendary Coors Banquet beer has ever been brewed. Banquet is made with only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley for that smooth, full-flavored taste. We've been doing it that way since 1873.
And like the mountains themselves, that's not about to change. If your views are anything like ours, then you know a good thing when you see it. It's in that cold banquet bottle right there on the bar. Banquet beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coors Banquet believes with great beer comes great responsibility. Nissan's bottom line sales event has been extended. Through September 5th, get an extra $500 holiday bonus cash on popular models. Lease Altima $179 plus bonus cash. With a better availability of vehicles than Honda or Toyota, you save. Get bottom line prices on our top of the line vehicles. Now, lease Altima $179 plus $500 holiday bonus cash. Visit ChooseNissan.com.
Test drive at your local Nissan dealer. More cars. Bonus cash. More savings. That's the bottom line. Hurry in today. Bonus cash and September 5th. Bonus cash on Altima Maximo Rogue Murano. $29.99 initial payment, 24 months on 2012 Altima. Excludes tax, title, license, non-refundable, $5.95 acquisition fee. Call 1-888-858-8319 for inventory and offer details. Bonus cash valid 830-95. Other offers at 930-11. Fiona loved flowers. Petunias, posies and peonies, azaleas, amaryllis and asters. But one thing stood between Fiona and her bouquets. Sneezes. So she did the next best thing. She printed them with original HP XL ink. She printed more of her precious petals and saved money too. which she used to make a paper vase for all her paper flowers. Print more and save up to 40% on your printing with original HP XL ink cartridges. HP. Hit print. 920XL compared to single standard HP ink cartridges based on average retail pricing. Actual prices may vary. The best days of summer are here. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo's Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita, an experience
It tastes so smooth, it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Top line 2011. Imported and bottled by Food Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under licensed from the trademark home. Jose Cuervo Especial is a registered trademark of Tequila Cuervo La Rojana. Hurry into the REI Labor Day sale and clearance August 26th through September 5th and save up to 30% on great gear and clothing. REI. Find out. Anytime you're ready. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like watching guns and blowing stuff up. Woods. All I want is a crisp, sweet apple. That's it. And you can't find it. I can't find it. Every time I bite into it, it goes, Lauren. I write bad reviews about them online. And Jay. She'll go on a girls trip and I'll go on like a surf trip or something. But if I have a choice. I would rather be together. Whoa, what am I hearing? Now. On FM 94.9. Let's hear it in our lives. We'll get to new movies in just a second. Congratulations to Chris. Dating game this morning. Guy is going to be going on a date tonight.
With all of us, sure we won't embarrass him at all at the game. Why would we do that? Some chicken wings. You know, he loves orange soda. That's all true. It's going to be nice. I think it would be easier for Chris, you know, in an environment like that, instead of having to be all, you know, uncomfortable, just one-on-one someplace. He said outside he does better one-on-one. Oh, really? Is that true, Chris? Don't big time us, dude. It's okay. It'll guarantee him a second date. Hang on. So wait, Chris, you're telling me that it would be easier for you if it was just you and her sitting across from each other at a restaurant? Yeah. Really? Oh, dude, for me, way more comfortable if my friends are around and, you know. They can build you up a little. Oh, you're such a good dude, you know? Yeah. It's a guy code. I get. I know why, though. I bet you're going to feel like all eyes are on you. Maybe that, but I get to find out more directly what she's interested in and just talking to her one-on-one. Well, you still can, no? What's the difference? Outside eyes looking in. We'll be asking her, so what are you studying? And he just wants her to himself. That's nice. But I will force her to go on a second date with Chris so that they can have one-on-one. Yeah.
Yeah. I will. Encourage. Yes, there we go. I got to tell you, he made a great pick. A great pick. I thought they were very compatible. They are so compatible, I think. They are. They're both really nice people. What's that like? Wow. So this guy in Illinois, he had some cars in his front yard. And apparently the cops didn't like the cars. So they came by to inspect it. Well. He was kind of lippy, but he also was videotaping them inspecting his car. Well, you can't. You're not allowed to do that. On his property? Yeah, it's called eavesdropping. What? If you do it to the police, they call it eavesdropping. Wow. Don't they do it to you all the time? What? It's called trespassing if they're on your property? They have the cameras built into their cruisers. Yeah, I guess they can. Well, it could get him 75 years in prison. BS. That's a true story. I will go. 75 years. I will go there. 75. I'll go there and protest. I'm telling you. 75 years? That's why it's making such big news. He faces up to 75 years. Casey Anthony had seven days. Yeah. I'll be like Eddie Vedder with the West Memphis Three. For this guy. Yeah. I'll fight for his rights. Yep. His name is Michael Allison. And yeah. So you can't do that. And dudes and.
some hot water because of it. Sounds like it. It's ridiculous. Movies that are coming out this weekend, I haven't been interested in going to a new movie in a long time, but I am interested in this new movie, Apollo 18. Oh, yeah. You are go for landing. We're go for the moon. Beautiful, isn't it? Up on the ridge, 10 o'clock. We found a Soviet helmet and are now following what appear to be tracks made by a possible Soviet cosmonaut. There's something else out here. Something's moving. It's inside my suit. I can't get around. Sounds great. The idea is the last mission that we flew to the moon was our last mission because we found something creepy up there. And, you know, looks good. Sounds good. I think so. I'm all the way in on it, and I'm surprised that I am, but I am. Yeah. Looks really good. This one you may not be all the way in on, and that's Shark Night 3D.
which looks like the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, you already know he's dead. Yeah. A, he's a black dude having fun. Right. Yeah, in a horror movie. In a horror movie. Done. If you're a black dude having fun, you're dead. We're a bunch of white people. Yeah, you're dead. And if you are a chick in a horror movie and you have to go outside and you're giggling, You're dead. And you have huge jugs. You're dead. Yes. You're dead. The prettier you are, the worse off you are in a horror film. For sure. Now, if you're a nice person and a nerd, you stand an okay chance of surviving the horror movie. And possibly getting one of the other girls that's there. That's probably out of your league. If you're quirky, you're probably safe. You're safe. You're definitely safe if you're quirky. Are you ready for the lake? No, let's go. Room for one more? Yeah, totally. Cool.
Not quite what we had in mind. Let's rock it out. Sounds badass. Is this a shark movie or a rave? Your house is on an island. It's going to be a good weekend. If you have even one drink of alcohol, you're dead. There's a shark in the lake. Yeah, and it's a horror movie. You're in a horror movie. You have a beer. Toast. I'm going to do something. I don't know how the hell they got in here. I wonder how many times they had to do the take of... Put them there. There it is. Wouldn't you just stay out of the lake? Yeah, why not get out of the lake? The end of the heart? Just quit wakeboarding and... Yeah. Maybe just go home. Stay inside. They can't breathe out of water. You lost the guy. You lost the one black guy. You know, he's going first. Yeah. Just take it to the house. There you go. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience.
Come back and wrap this puppy up and tell you what you need to be looking skyward for on Labor Day here in San Diego. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Courage to Call. This is Ron. How can I help? Well, I just got back from Iraq, and my wife and I are looking for work, and we need help with the kids. Courage to Call is a local veteran-run program helping veterans, friends, and family with jobs, child care, addiction, and stress. It's free and confidential. Well, good. I hope this was helpful for you. To speak to a veteran, call our 24-7 helpline at 211 or go to mhsinc.org slash courage to call. Funded by County of San Diego HHSA under MHSA. This is a reenactment of an actual call. It's that time of year. Time for a Sports Chalet summer sale and clearance event. Save 30 to 50% off men's, women's, and kids' swimwear and sandals.
The best brands are on sale now. Plus, take an additional 25% to 50% off all clearance footwear, apparel, and gear. Stop by today for the best selection. Sportually's summer sale and clearance event is going on right now. I'll let you know that going on right now through Labor Day, you can lease a brand new 2011 328i sedan from BMW Encinitas for only $2.99 a month plus tax. Probably the most incredible deal on a lease, especially for what you're getting, I've ever heard of. And why is it unheard of? Because of what they want to do. They want to put the lights out on all the other BMW dealerships here in San Diego County. And that's how you do it. When you want to be number one, you go out there, you just put out an incredible product and you do it with high volume.
So you can get a lot of these things out there, and that's how they do it at BMW Encinitas. I'm talking about a brand new 2011 328i. Picture it in whatever color you like, and then go down there and take advantage. $299 a month on that lease. It's on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. You can check them out online, bmwencinitas.com. If you are the sort who refuses to compromise, then some might call you hard-headed, unwavering, a little set in your ways. At Coors, we'd call you a stand-up guy. Since 1873, we've taken a similar mindset when brewing our legendary Coors Banquet beer, using only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley, and brewing it in one place and one place only, Golden, Colorado. So to those of you out there who stand for something, we'd kindly invite you to sit down right at the bar.
because we'd like to pour you a nice, cold banquet. Green Company, Golden, Colorado. Coors Banquet believes with great beer comes great responsibility. He holds a shell up to his ear. He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates. Glorious. The most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend. Not Audi, not Lexus, not BMW.
Only Infiniti is the winner of ALG's 2011 Luxury Brand Residual Value Award, a fact that may not sit too well with our competition, but should be quite attractive to you. Because it means when you drive an Infiniti, you'll not only enjoy an unrivaled performance experience, you'll own the luxury brand projected to hold more of its value longer than any other in America. Come in now to the Infiniti Limited Engagement Summer Event to experience our full line of luxury performance vehicles. Our inventory selection is outstanding. So see your Infinity Retailer today for the year's best offers. Hurry, because summer is fleeting, and so is this event. Lease a 2011 Infinity G25 Journey for $319 per month for 39 months with $26.99 initial payment. Or get 1.9% APR on all 2011 models for well-qualified buyers. Tax, title, license, and options extra. Call 1-888-818-2668 for lease and disclaimer details. Offer ends 9-30-11. See Retailer for details. Your brakes are the most important safety feature on your vehicle. If your brakes squeal, steering wheel vibrates, or car pulls from side to side during braking, it may be time for new brakes. At O'Reilly Auto Parts, we have the replacement brake parts you need in stock. From brake pads and shoes to drums and rotors, O'Reilly has the necessary hardware made specifically for your car or truck, all at guaranteed low prices.
Right now at O'Reilly Auto Parts, you can save up to $30 on any combination of Wagner Thermo Quiet brake pads or shoes. Wagner Thermo Quiet parts are specifically engineered to deliver improved performance, longer life, and safer operation. Make the smart choice with Wagner Thermo Quiet and save up to $30 after manufacturer's mail-in rebate. Keep your vehicle on the road and your family safe with new brakes from O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. In 1966, a top-secret unit was formed. Their assignment? Hunt down and capture Nazi war criminals. The pretty thing you're doing. I'm terrified. Their story continues to this day. Critics are raving. The Debt is a pulse-pounding thriller. Exhilarating, suspenseful, and taut. Helen Mirren is superb. And you would have to pay. The Debt. Rated R. No one under 17, admitted without parent. Now playing. Maria Bello stars in Prime Suspect. Coming Thursdays to NBC.
How do you turn groceries into free groceries? You get Albertson's new preferred rewards card. Just scan your card at checkout every time you shop and earn reward points for free groceries. Ten points for every dollar you spend. It's easy. So get your Albertson's preferred rewards card today and make grocery shopping more rewarding. See store for details. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Woods. Don't lie to me, dude. You lie to girls, okay? You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. So we got the big Labor Day weekend coming up. And by the way, big storm in Antarctica that kicked up waves. And they are here in San Diego. Eight. to 10 foot waves. I mean, huge waves. Also, they were seeing sharks out there. The surfing, I guess, is good, but they're saying be careful. Know what you're doing and stuff. Because the waves are so big. It's going to be what looks like good weather. I think there's going to be a lot of people trying to get the last of the summer. Pretty soon, you're going to start smelling
And it's going to be football season in full swing. Fall is going to be coming. But right now we're still having a little bit of summer left. And so people are going to be hitting the beaches. If you're at the beach this weekend, make sure that you are looking towards the sky. You will see a giant Mikey show banner flying on an airplane all over the beaches of San Diego. And it's pretty cool. Just wanted to tell people about that and let them know that that's going to be out there. Can they send us some pictures if they see it? Absolutely. And if you see any Tommy Bahama chairs on the beach, send them directly to... Or umbrellas. Or umbrellas or towels or bathing suits. You send them right to Mike. Why? Because you like them. I don't. You love it. You appreciate the art. It's like when some people go to the Louvre. Louvre? Louvre? I don't know how you say it, but you see great art. Yeah, the Louvre. Is that the Louvre? Mm-hmm. The Louvre? The Louvre. Oh, my French? No, I think it's the Louvre. M1 Nubian Prince is on the line right now. Hello, Bree. From Otai Mesa. Hi, Nubian Prince. Good morning, Mikey. Show us craggy. What's going on, dude? Hey, that dude. You guys have that story about that horror movie? I'm going to tell you all. All of a sudden, they're going to know. There's a reason why black folks don't go surfing. That's right.
No joke. I have a theory that I think that sharks smell black people. I know I do. L.O.B. does. She likes it. I have radar. That's right. It's Bladar. But yeah, the horror movies, the sharks. Yeah, I don't even go camping. My friends all make fun of me. I'm like, dude, I know the dude with the axe is looking for me. That's great. That's great. Well, thank you, Nubian Prince. We love you. Love you guys. Love you too. Have a good morning, guys. All right, man. So, yeah, so Monday, FM 94.9 is going to be doing some Labor Day, cool Labor Day programming where you hear some cool music. We're going to be off on Labor Day, which is Monday. And then also a week from today because we're taking my boy for his fifth birthday to Disneyland. And it's going to be a lot of fun. So at the end of the show on Friday, I give you my story. I tell you about my story. where I was in my life and where I am now. You know, over the last couple of weeks, I've been sharing with you my personal life about how I've been treated for depression. And it took a while, you know, I think it took a while for me to get there. But this is really important for you to know. If this had been years ago, you know, just one or two of the events that have happened in the last few years would have been enough to just ruin me.
Not only do I not feel ruined by it, I have absolute hope. And I hope that you can hear that in my voice and know it, that it's true. Absolute hope. And I know it's going to be okay. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I didn't used to. My entire life I grew up afraid, totally afraid. And I never had anything to look forward to. There was nothing that I knew like I do now. I had nothing to look forward to. There were times in my life where it was just completely hopeless. It just felt hopeless. There's no other word to describe it. No hope. I constantly felt darkness. I constantly felt terrible. And you may be there now. You may be at a place in your life where you are experiencing some of the things that I've experienced. Addiction. Depression. There's been a time in my life where I had an eating disorder.
There's been a time in my life where I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I have been there. 2003, Jesus Christ entered my life and changed everything. He changed everything. Today I have hope. I have no idea what the future holds, but I have hope. That's it. That's my story. If you need help with addiction, depression, eating disorders, if you need help with any of that, go to MikeyShow.com and at the top of the page, It says help. You click that button and it'll take you to all kinds of resources, all kinds of different places that you can get help. We love you, M1 Nation. Have a safe, safe Labor Day weekend. And we'll come back here and we'll do it again on Tuesday. I end the show with a song and hopefully this song will be where you are. It's called Not Alone from a band called Red.
And the words are really, really inspiring. And maybe they give you hope. We'll see you again on Tuesday. The Mikey Show is out. And so...