The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/07/10

0:00Yeah. Welcome back. Thank you. It's nice to be back. Oh, I appreciate that. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Oh, I'm in a weird mood. Why? A good mood, but a weird mood. A silly mood. I'm real goofy today. You are. I need to... And we're back! That's right. I think I need to know where the gold is at. I was kind of wondering. It's been a couple weeks, and I didn't really know where it was. I want to know where the gold is. I want the gold. We'll give it to you. Give me the gold. I want the gold. Thank you. Oh, it feels so good to be back in the studio. Yes, it does. And listen, truthfully, these are the final days of us being in this studio. Yep. And so we are enjoying it while we've got it because we have a brand new studio, Studio M.

1:02And we're going to be moving into Studio M before you know it. It's a studio completely dedicated to the Mikey Show. And we're going to be moving into that thing in about a week. It is incredible. It's incredible. It's gangster. It is gangster. It's real gangster. And what we're going to do is, after we finish here on the air at 10 o'clock, we'll go in there and we'll practice a little bit to get all the little... kinks worked out the nuances that's right and we'll get all dialed in so uh welcome to the program it's a mikey show we've been today is exactly two weeks we've been off for two weeks exactly and uh because monday a couple of weeks ago was our last day and then i had surgery to repair a what they call an incisional hernia thank you thank you so much how many times I said that to people. That's right. And explained what an incisional hernia was. Hey, what's wrong with Mikey? He's got an incisional hernia. Did you guys read on the board? Somebody said that it was that I had an ulcer. Oh, no, I didn't see that. I was like, oh, no, I do not. He's quick to his own defense. I know. I felt kind of smart, though. I was like, see the difference with an incisional? Yeah. Yeah. Incisional.

2:26Yeah, it's different. It's not one of those hernias where they hold the boys and tell you to cough. That's a hernia that you get down in the groin, and this was right on my belly. But now I feel it, and there's no bulging guts. That's awesome. So strange. Haven't had that for a long time. So I feel good. I feel happy to be back. Me too. So happy to be back. Don't know if we have any listeners anymore, so call us. You guys are out there. Yeah, call us and tell us that you're still there. 570-1949. We'd love to say hello to you. The Mikey Show is, there's five people on the show. I'm the host. My name is Mikey. Woodsy is our sports guy. And Woods is 35. He has completely made the transition to the Newsboy hat. Newsboy. I haven't seen him wear a baseball hat since he got the newsboy hat. A new bit. Yeah. He hands out papers each morning. See here. See here. Yeah. Two bits. Two bits. Extra. Extra. Read all about it. Extra. That's what it is. Two bits. Did I just say see here? Yes. Oh, God. It's been two weeks. Remember when the little boy used to run on the street back in the 20s and say, see here. See here. I don't remember that. Damn it. Remember? I'm out of practice. That's right.

3:51You know, iron out the wrinkles. My beet red. Yes. I feel like I am. I'm sweating. Lauren O'Brien's our assistant producer. Hello. She's the brunette sitting to my ear. We go on break, she turns into a Mexican. I don't know what's going on. I know, I got a little color. Yeah. The hair is brown. No, it's still, you still look blonde, it just looks like a darker. Yeah. Like a dark blonde. It's fading. It'll fade. It doesn't ever want to stay. Yeah. What brought it about? Is it this whole fall thing and women go darker? Yeah, fall was coming and my hair was all strung out, like bleach blonde, white trash on the end. I was just trying to even it out. Yeah. Yeah, I was just trying to even it out. So yeah, it's just going a little darker for now. It's nice.

4:51I like it. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, and I saw Lauren on television. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yesterday. That's funny. I have yet to see it. I was watching the Food Network, weird. And her episode of Family Style came on. Amazing. I had no idea what the show even was. It's a reality show about a brother and sister that run a restaurant. Tommy V's here in town. Nice. And I was like. I knew Lauren, and I knew that guy, the guy that's the focus of the show. I didn't even know. And so anyway, Lauren was on there doing this speed dating thing. I was. And it was really cool. I met like 12 guys that night. Yeah. Oh, boy. Just another Saturday night for you. Yeah, exactly. That's right. Sienna had her baby. Yay! Yeah. Sienna had little baby Sage while we were gone. Six pounds, ten ounces. Oh, man. Beautiful. Just so gorgeous. Did you guys get the text from her at like 5.45 this morning saying she and Sage are listening? Oh, I heard something buzz in my bag. Yeah, she sent me a text. That's cool. We're listening. We love you, Sienna. Love you, miss you. We miss you a lot. I can't wait until she comes back. How's your jugs? What?

6:15Sienna had the baby, what, two weeks ago? Yeah. Not quite a week and a half ago. It just makes it seem even longer until she's back. I know. Jay's our producer. He is 47 years old. Yeah. And he had a very interesting break. He went intertubing on the Kern River. Of course he did. Yeah. And had all kinds of adventures. Camping and surfing. Look at that. Hey, what do we have as a big prize today for Word of the Day? Today we have a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego Zoo. Nice. Nice. That's good. I'm going to the zoo today. Are you? Uh-huh. Killer. You got family in town? Yeah. Who's in? My brother and his wife and my little niece. That's cool. Now you got both nieces here. Uh-huh. They met each other for the first time. It was like the cutest thing I've ever seen. I'm sure. Oh, my gosh. Two six months old just grabbing at each other. That's cool. That's incredible. So lucky. Yeah. So lucky. I know. Are they staying with you? They are not. They are staying with my sister. Babies all in one place. Sometimes that's stressful. I need to be dynamic and get my sleep. It's true. It's true. You can't be dynamic without enough sleep. Trust me. That's right. I know. Went to bed at 6 o'clock last night. I went to bed at 7.

7:38Oh, wow. At seven, I go, hey, it's bedtime. Jamie's like, I'm not going to bed now. I'm like, hey, listen, if you want to be number one, this is what you do. It's called commitment. So let's go. Let's truck it on upstairs. That's great. I feel like more rested than I have in my whole life. Me too. I feel like I'm about to explode out of my chair is how I feel. A lot of energy. I had a few people say to me over the break, you think this was God's way of slowing you down? I said. Yeah, yeah. I said enough people have said that to me now that maybe that's exactly it. And he did, man. He slowed me down. I cannot tell you how much I just laid in that bed with that remote control in my hand. Yep. You know, it's funny. You had a major surgery. Yeah. Right? I did the exact same thing that you did on break, but I didn't have a major thing. And I mean the exact same thing you did. I got out there and surfed with you once. I think I surfed three times when I was out. Had some crazy, crazy experiences. But other than that, man, I stayed at home, saved a little cash, took the wife out to lunch, did stuff like that. Just hung out. It was great. I need you to call me, M1s. I need to hear your voice. We need to know that you're out there. Seriously. Nobody loves us. I need to know that you're there, that you still love me.

8:54Love me. Love me. Yeah. Cole, right now. Yeah. Say hello. You can play the Welcome Back Cotter song. Yes. Put it up to the phone. Yeah. 570-1949. All right. So the word of the day is rainbow. So when you hear me use the word rainbow in a sentence, I have to work it into a sentence cleverly and sweetly. And when you hear that, caller number nine at 570-1949 will win a four-pack of tickets to San Diego Zoo. You just have to hear it worked into a sentence. All right. Mikey Show, hello. Good, man. Turn that radio down. There you go. Hi. Very nice. What's your name? Scuff? Good to have you, dude. Good to have you listening. You going to work? Actually, I did pilot moving at 2.30 this morning. Oh, wow. Early, early morning for me. You've been up for a while. Well, thank you, brother. It's good to have you listening, and we appreciate it, dude. Thank you. Thank you, man. Yeah, give us a call. 570. Oh, now all the lines are lit up. Nice. Good. Makes me know people are there. Hoyle and Vinegar this morning at 730. Yeah. Our station manager, Hoyle. Yeah. Our very intrusive station manager, Hoyle. His budding new musical duo. Yeah, his budding new musical duo. Him and Woods are Hoyle and Vinegar. His musical solo act that he thinks is a duo. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

10:30That is correct. Too much of a micromanager to have a duo. Well, let's just say that Hoyle and Vinegar had it out yesterday. Oh. Yeah. You know what happened besides my surgery over the break is we got our new nanny. Yes, you did. Her name is Nita, and she is from Budapest. Budapest. Budapest. Budapest. Budapest. Really? It is not pronounced Budapest. Oh. We found that it's pronounced Budapest. Budapest. I'm so glad I know that. Yeah. I've went all these years thinking something different. Budapest. Really sweet. Really nice. Kids love her. Yeah. Kids love her and we're glad. Good. Glad to have her. Another nanny got detained at the border. No way. Didn't have all the papers all properly done. Oh, wow. Didn't show up to work on Sunday. Turned out she, yeah, they kept her from like five in the morning to five at night. That's nice. And they finally let her go. She's doing good. I know, it's crazy. It's crazy. 570-1949. Mikey Show, who dis? Hi, Chris. How you doing? Good, buddy. How you doing, man? Good, dude. It's good to be back in here. Thank you. What are you up to? Are you already? What do you do for a living? Oh, it's fun. You know how to fix a Ford engine? I do, man. Woodsy. No, Chevy. Chevy.

12:04Chevy and I'll just get some dynamite blowed up. Yeah. That's what Woodsy's thinking about doing. Trust me. His Chevy has had it. Done. Yeah, well, hey, it was good to hear your voice, man. I'm glad to hear you guys back on the radio. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Appreciate you. Mikey Show, who dis? Who dis? Good body. Who? Good body. Good body. Hi. What's happening? Not too much, bro. How are you? Not too much. Getting ready for work. Glad to hear you guys back this morning. Oh, man, I'm so happy to be back in here. Is your real last name Goodbody? Yeah. Damn straight. Have you seen him? He's really shredded. You have to if that's your name. I guess you do. You can't look like me and be named Goodbody. People be like... Yeah. That's how it's been growing up, so you know what? You make the best of it. Absolutely. My name was Mike Hotface. I'd be screwed. Hotface. I'd be done. That was your nickname. Mail it in. Hotpants. Hotpants is Sparza. Mike Hotpants is Sparza. All right, good buddy. Awesome. You guys take it easy. See you, brother. All right, bye. He's a good kid right there. He is. Padres, please, please don't ignore the fact that they lost while we were gone. I know. They were winning up until we left. They lost the entire time we were on break. How many days? You think about it. I do Woods on Sports every day we're on the air.

13:28How many times this year did I come in and go, hey, Padres won again. I know. Padres won again. We go off the air, train wreck. They needed our support. They do. Our love and support. Yeah. And we're back, Padres. And they won last night. And they won last night. After 10 games. I think they felt relieved. They're like, Mikey, Woodsy, L.O.B., Jay are coming back. Time to put this back together. I had such weird thoughts while we were gone about the Padres. I was thinking in my head, I was like, you know what? Bud Black should take them out on a dinner cruise. Something. Something. I felt really guilty that they were swept by the Phillies because I'm a Phillies fan too. Yeah. And I felt really guilty. But I was like, Bud Black should take them on a dinner cruise. And he should call around and find some big, giant movie star. And, you know, maybe he'll have to go through a few. I actually thought this. This is a true fact. And do what? Maybe he'll have to keep going. He asks Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise says no. Okay, fine. Tom Cruise is a Dodger fan. Okay, fine. Let me try this route. He goes and he asks him some other celebrity. And he just keeps asking until he finds some. Maybe, finally, Denzel Washington is like, yeah, sure, I'll talk to your ball club. And so they're out on this. This is all I'm imagining in my head. They're out on a dinner cruise, okay, out on the bay.

14:57And Buddy Black is talking to them and he's trying to, you know, get them all inspired. And he says, and I'd like to just bring out somebody here that would like to, and out walks Denzel Washington. And he gives this big inspirational speech. I thought that. You're a lunatic. I know it. I know that I am. So do you think they'd rather have like a sports legend than Denzel Washington? I thought it would really inspire them to have some, you know, sport legend. Yeah, they see sports guys all the time. They've probably met every big sports name that there is. I thought something was going to happen, like they were going to run out on the field. A lot of times you'll see, and I know we did this in high school, we all shaved our heads. The whole team shaved their heads together. So I just knew they were going to come out with mohawks or something. They did do something. Did they? Did you know that they're all into Star Wars theme right now? I did not. Yes. I did not. Yeah, they're all into, specifically the bullpen, has adopted, like, there's little Yoda, stuffed Yoda, that sits on the bench with them, and they're all about Yoda. Maybe that's why they've been losing. And Chewbacca and Yoda, Star Wars stuff. It's weird. I don't know why. You'll try anything, man. Once you start losing, you will try anything. I wonder if they got rid of it to get off the schneid.

16:21Maybe. It was crazy, man. Every day it was like, okay, six. Oh, wow, seven. Oh, no, nine. Oh, boy, ten. You know, and it was just. Giants aren't much better because they. They picked up some games. You know, they did pick up some games. But when you're, the guy in front of you loses ten in a row, you know, and you're still behind, you're like, come on, dude. You know? I mean. Padres are a game up, right? Game up. Yeah. Man. Playing the Dodgers now. Yep. The Giants starting on Thursday? That's crazy. A lot happened while we were out. Manny got traded. Yep. Manny went to the White Sox. Yep. Still Manny. With that crazy hair. Yep. I can't stand the guy. He's a strange man. Can't stand him. He's still like him. He's bad for that game. Bad for it. Yeah? Yeah. Guy can hit, though, right? Yeah. Better hang on to that while you got it. Yep. I heard that he was going to fly to Boston to see his special barber. I think he flew him in. He flew him in? He flew him in. Because do the White Sox have the same philosophy as the Yankees where you got to be clean cut? No? No. Not that I know of. I mean, as far as I know, the Yankees are the only team where you can't have facial hair. You can only have a mustache. Really? Yeah. You can't have a goatee, long sideburns. Johnny Damon had to cut all his hair off when he came to the Yankees. Yeah, I remember that. You don't worry about it. What's the mustache bit about? Yeah, you can have a stache. Why? Yeah, how come you can still have a mustache? I wonder why. I don't know.

17:47That seems so odd. You can have this big, porny mustache. Mikey Show, hello. What up, brother? How you doing? I'm doing all right. Hey, you guys are talking about the Padres coming back around when you guys come back on. Do you know any Padres that actually listen to the show and also any celebrities that listen to the show? Heath Bell does. I know Heath Bell does. He sure does. Adrian Gonzalez probably does because... I know him. I think Denzel Washington listens. I think Denzel's a big fan. Yeah, Denzel's a huge fan. He specifically, L-O-B. He tweeted me. He did. I think that there are a lot of Padres and Chargers that are our style. Gotcha. That are M1s. You know, the thing is, when you're a professional athlete, you can't really identify yourself as digging one particular show. And I think that that's something that the organization tells them during their...

18:46you know, initial days as a pro athlete. Like, don't say that you're into this. Don't say you're into that because it'll... But some of them don't care. Heath Bell doesn't care. He lets the world know he's an M1. What's that? That's cool that at least he's able to do that. He's willing to do that. Yeah, some of them just go, what are you going to do, fire me? Yeah. I've closed 38 out of 41 games this year. I think I'm fine. Yeah, he's nice and well-rested, isn't he? Yeah, absolutely. Thanks, paparazzi. All right. See you, dude. Ten straight. Well, at least maybe they're back now. I just tell you what, I hope they do not lose right away because right now, you know, if they win again, they'll get on this mindset of, you know, that's what's happening. They lose again. It'll jack them up mentally. They've been doing it all year. You know, they know how to win ballgames. They know how to win a lot of ballgames. I think they're going to be okay. I think yesterday, you know, that was just a real big bump in the road. But we'll see what happens. Big series. A couple big series.

19:44I was really sad to hear that Robert Schimmel died because I know Schimmel. If you haven't heard, comedian Robert Schimmel passed away Friday. He was in a car accident. His daughter was driving. And very, very sad. Man, he's a funny, funny guy. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Mikey. Audio is not properly set up. Audio is not working. We've been out for two weeks. Things have changed. Yeah, things have changed. They switched it up on us. We'll get it. McRuber? Anyway, you know who else that's going to, I'm sure, really affect is I knew him pretty good, and our buddies Lamont and Tonelli up in San Francisco knew him really, really well. Really? Super funny guy, though. You ready?

20:45All right, here's some of Schimmel. He thinks I'm going to want to be like him. I don't want to be like him. My wife takes me to this gym and they have this muscle guy that's going to give me the tour because he thinks I'm going to want to be like him. I don't want to be like this guy. He's like, hey, Mr. Schimmel, let me show you the facilities. Why don't you spell facilities? So he goes, listen, first we got to do a little fitness test to see where you're at. And I said, well, I could save you some time right now because I got a little winded filling out the application. So if there's someplace I could lay down for a few minutes, that would be good. He puts me on this treadmill. I'm on there for like two minutes. I smell bone burning like when you're at the dentist. He's good. So that's sad. That's sad. I guess the deal was she swerved to not hit somebody, and they got in an accident. Woodsy said it this morning, you know, how tough it's going to be for her, knowing that that's what killed her dad. That's terrible, man. He was very close to her.

21:46Really close to her. It's a shame. I need to listen to more of his stuff because that's right up my alley, man. It sounds very New York. My favorite comedians have always been black guys. Down the line, I've rarely seen too many funny white comedians. That dude's up my alley. He sounds hysterical. He's funny. He's a guy that used to come into the studio and he had no pretense. That's awesome. He was a humble dude. He wasn't a star. He didn't have an entourage. He came by himself. That's awesome. And he would just kick back and read the newspaper with us. He'd stay the whole show. At the end of the show, he'd stick around. That's so cool. Hang in the office. Like, want to go get something to eat. Schimmel was a good dude, and he was just a nice person. And so it was sad. I was really sad to read that. Oh, we got to tell you about this airline CEO that thinks it's a good idea to get rid of... It's probably a good idea to get rid of co-pilots, he says. So we'll tell you all about it. Some big names were cut when the Chargers were making their 53-man roster. Woodsy's going to tell you all about it in Woods on Sports. And we got the panel coming up. Mikey Show is back in the studio. We want to hear from you, 5701949. We want to hear you on text, 949mikey at gmail.com. And don't forget,

23:16The word of the day today is rainbow. Be back. Just added something to the word of the day prize pack for today. Already, you know that between now and 10, we're going to give you the word of the day, meaning that I'm going to work the word rainbow into a sentence between now and 10, right? When you hear it, you're calling 95701949. Okay, well, what we had for you already was a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego Zoo, which is, they're 47 bucks a piece. So there's a great value already in that. But we're also going to throw in a pair of tickets to Legoland. So we've got a real San Diego prize pack going today just for listening for that word of the day. So be doing it. Hoyle and Vinegar coming up at 7.30, one hour from now. Hoyle and Vinegar is Hoyle and Woods' new band. We'll see what the latest is with those two.

24:46Woodsy's going to be telling you about some big names that got cut from the Chargers because they're getting down to their 53 man. Cannot believe the NFL football season begins on Thursday. That's so soon. I know. So if you have not heard this story, there's a CEO of an airline called Ryanair. They got like Josh Air. Bill Air. It's in the UK, I think. It's in Ireland, I think. Ryanair. Is that the UK? Ireland's part of the UK. There you go. So you were right. He suggests, the CEO is suggesting that co-pilots are unnecessary. Yeah, you don't need those guys. I need more information. What I need to know is, well, what does a co-pilot do? He's there in case the pilot has a heart attack. Is that it? No, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't know.

25:42What if he's right? What if I don't know? I'm sure he serves a purpose. I think two heads are better than one. Well, absolutely. And, you know, I read some of that article, and it's just like the guy's there for a reason, first of all. And he's like, no, you don't need him. Just let the computer fly it. I'm like, yeah, maybe not. It seems like they balance one another out somehow. Maybe somebody calls it and knows what a co-pilot exactly does. I think the co-pilot, he mixes the drinks. He mixes drinks. I mean, you know, the title is co-pilot. They're co-piloting. That means together piloting. How about this? Let me just throw this out there. I don't know what I'm talking about, by the way. Let's say it. Why pretend? I know. I don't. But what if in the early days of pilotry, they needed a co-pilot because you served this very specific purpose, and now that time has gone by, they don't need it? What if? Well, you would then assume that the machine will handle it, but... That's what this dude's saying. Here's this quote. Let's take out the second pilot. Let the bloody computer fly. That was actually live audio from him. There you go. He says the flight attendant on each flight could be trained to help to land the plane if something goes wrong. Oh, wow. So there you go. They've got enough going on. Do they? Because a lot of times I'm sitting there in my seat and I look up there and they're sitting in that backwards chair.

27:02Up against the wall reading Cosmo. They've got to make sure nobody flips out on the plane. But this guy has done bits like this before. He's had some crazy, crazy ideas. Yeah? Yeah, he had something about you had to pay to go to the bathroom. Coin-operated bathroom. That's stupid. I think it's just stupid because what that co-pilot's salary is, it's got to be a drop in the bucket compared to what that airline makes. Right. You know? So don't risk it. Yeah, but if you've got a whole bunch of planes, you get rid of them. I don't know. No, I don't think it's a good idea. Safety on a plane is not something you don't want to cut costs safety-wise. All right. That's very politically correct. Snakes on a plane, that's another thing. That's totally different, though. Totally different. To do snakes on a plane. And to have snakes on a plane. We're going to be doing the panel here in a second. For those of you that don't know. about something called imminent domain. We'll be talking about that because they want to get rid of a bunch of houses along I-5. What do you think about it? We'll talk about it in the panel. And what were we all up to? What did we do while we were on our break? I got my surgery done and our new studio got completed. We'll be moving into that pretty soon. Woods has got to get a new car really soon.

28:26Your transmission is fried. It's done. I took it to Jay's got a guy. It's the only honest mechanic I've ever met in my life. I swear. And he is dynamite. And he looked at it and he goes, Woodsy, this particular engine that Chevy made in this particular year that you guys have, the worst engine ever made. Seriously. And I was like, you've got to be kidding me. He's like, oh, these are just garbage. It's probably the same one that's in my car. It could be. So I took it in and he called me back later in the day and goes. Yeah, it's going to be about $3,800 with parts and labor. And I said, absolutely not. Oh, wait. I went and picked it up. It's been sitting in the driveway for two weeks. Oh, man. I'll tell you what. The Japanese know how to make a car. That's what we're looking at. Dependable car. That's what we're looking at. They really do. You put oil in them, they run forever. Yep. So that's the move. Probably, hopefully, by the end of the week, it's got a new ride. We're both probably going to come back with some Japanese cars. That's right. Yeah. That'd be great. Jay, of course, went tubing on the Kern River. Spelunking. I was just going to say that. Spelunking. Spelunking. I was totally going to say spelunking. Mountain bike rides. Mining. Pool parties. All kinds of stuff. Harpooning. Yeah, harpooning. Harpooning. Weird. Lassoing things. A few beers were drank. Yeah. Think any cold Budweiser's were drank? Oh, man. Jay, was that river water freezing cold?

29:50You know, the first day we got there, it was 115. Oh. The outside temperature. Yeah, the air temperature. Bakersfield, is that where it is? Yeah, it's out of Bakersfield. So then you get in the water, and it's not that bad. You're like, oh, this is great. I bet. But Jasper loved it. He'd been hoping to intertube the whole time. So we said, okay. We were on the coast all the way by Big Sur, and then we just popped across 100 miles across the country and ended up intertubing that afternoon. What level of SPF did you use? You know, 30. But it was great. And it worked? Yeah. I'm probably a lot tanner than I started off to be. For sure. Lauren had all kinds of stuff happening. I did. This I found really confusing, though. She says her apartment is mostly finished. Haven't you been in that apartment four years now, this new apartment? No, four months. And it's not done. I'm looking for very particular pieces. Weird. Furniture pieces. I don't want some cheap, like... What do you want? Just nice. I want like a nice bookshelf slash armoire type thing. Yeah. Ikea it real good. I went to Ikea. I didn't get really anything. Lost. You probably got lost. Yes. I've been at Ikea twice in two weeks. It's like a mouse in there looking for cheese. Yeah. We were there for over three hours both times. Of course. The second time I walked out with a plant and a plant holder. It's a great place, but you need a hostage negotiator to get out of it. Yeah, you do. Yeah.

31:16It's a great place. I mean, this stuff is cool. You need my TomTom to get out of there for sure. You do. TomTom Girl, did you help Lauren to get out of that maze? I was on vacation like the rest of you, Mikey. What do you need a vacation for? You're a machine. I work hard on the reg, Mikey. Apparently, I'm going to be homeless shortly. Yes. What makes you say that, TomTom Girl? Because the kid doesn't need his car anymore. That's true. Yep. That is true. They move her over to the Suburban. That's right. He hasn't made the move yet, Mikey. Well, when he does, though, you know you'll be with him, TomTom Girl. He loves you. I hope that's the case. That is the case. Well, we looked at a new car, and it's got navigation. Uh-oh. You see what I mean, Mikey? Oh, no. These portable devices are becoming obsolete. Yeah, a thing of the past. Yep. We'll keep you around here. Sounds like a plan, Mikey. What's the matter with you, TomTom girl? Something in your throat? Yeah, something in your throat? Are you going to cry? What's going on with you, TomTom? You all right? It's been... It's been tough. I think we need to download a patch for her. Yeah, we've got to download something for you. It's been quite a while. Everybody's a little rusty. It's been a while, hasn't it? Take it easy. TomTom girl forgot what her own voice sounded like.

32:46Is it hot in here? Oh my gosh. Everybody's a little rusty. You guys have me cracking in there all the time. Hi, Mikey. Hey, Mikey, is this more pop pop song? Yeah. Lauren comes back with brown hair. What's going on around here? Throwing the hard questions out there. Hey, by the way, Lauren is for sure taking the pole dancing class. Oh. My goodness. We're going to have to see that. I'm strong. Yeah? I am. I realize that. From what? When I was on break, I was like working on my fitness again. Yeah? And I was like, man, I'm pretty strong. Yeah? Mm-hmm. You're going to get even stronger working that pole. I am. I know. What do you bench? I don't know. Engineers should put a pole in a new office. Just working out. Can you imagine? Just hang upside down and be like, I've got some new ideas, guys. Oh, man. Maybe we send somebody with a flip cam. I will. Maybe we'll do a before and after. I'll tear. I bet I'll be really bad at first. I bet it will be hysterical. Won't you feel self-conscious going to a class where you're going to learn to pole dance? No, because everybody else is going to be doing it, too. Yeah. And we're going to have clothes on. The dudes go? I don't know. Maybe I'll go with you. Oh, creepy. Can you imagine the guy? Well, I need some exercise. Well, because who's that guy? He knows it's all girls and he's just a creep. Yeah.

34:10Woods. We had, I took that, the striptease class. Yeah. You did? Yeah, I told you that. What kind of filthy girl? Go on. You keep your clothes on, though, but it teaches you all the moves and everything, and it's to make you kind of feel, like, sexy, you know? Oh, yeah. In the same building as, like, a boxing and a jujitsu. So the guys would, like, walk by really quick, like, you know, and just peek in, and then they would stop and literally walk backwards slowly. Yeah. Like, stare in, like, what are they doing in there? Creep. B. I don't know what we're yelling about! I'm just saying, it's kind of strange, right? A little odd. I like it. Weird. To each his own. Can't believe that Jay likes something like that. Yeah, it doesn't seem like up his alley at all. Not at all. Let's see. Okay, so we're going to do the panel here in just a second, but I told you. And you can call us, 570-1949. In fact, I need you to. I need to know that you're there and that you care. All right? But we've got to find out what's going on in the world of sports so much.

35:10So many things happening. Congratulations, Padres. What's on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. And, boy, it's good to hear that song again, pal. Yeah, it is. It means we're back, man. That's right. The Padres streak, we talked about it, is over. They had lost 10 straight last night. They beat the Dodgers 4-2. So we talked a little bit. Their lead has gone from six games in the West to one game. It's their longest losing streak since May of 94. Oh, wow. So, man, this is not the time to go on a bad streak like that. But they went out. Yeah, they went out. They got it done last night. Got to keep the momentum rolling. How did it feel, Bud Black? Cut one. You'll see when you walk out there. I mean, the guys are, you know, like Maeve said, I think there was a big exhale. But, again, I think our guys know that, and they have to prepare for another game, and they know what month we're in. Yeah.

36:13Yeah, this is the time, dude. It's called the stretch run, pal. And this is when you need to really bring the noise every single day. Got to make the playoffs. I read an article, and somebody said, well, we shouldn't be too upset because they've already won more games than last year. No, when you've got a six-game lead at the beginning of September, this is the time. I mean, they've got the pitching staff to really go deep in the playoffs. And with the additions that they've made, dude, now is the time. Ever open your season on Monday Night Football? The Chargers are going to on Monday, which is awesome. They're going to be taking on the Chiefs. Monday Night Football here in San Diego. The Chargers against the Chiefs. Cannot wait to get this thing started, man. Against the Chiefs, too. Yeah, they finished preseason at 1-3, but, hey, it's preseason. Who cares? They made some roster moves that I thought were pretty interesting because I actually went to a couple of Chargers practices and watched a couple of guys play. The ones that surprised me were Nathan Basher that they picked up from the Bears. Cut him. He's gone. Cornerback. They kept six cornerbacks and not him. Well, I remember when they signed him and I thought, wow. Good move. What a great move. Yep.

37:17Remember, they also picked up Josh Reed because Vincent Jackson's still holding out. They picked up Josh Reed. He's gone. They did trade for Dallas Cowboys' Patrick Creighton, which I think is a pretty good pickup. I've watched Creighton play for years. And he's a good possession receiver. He's going to be fine here. I almost picked him up in my fantasy. But they cut Jonathan Crompton, who was a quarterback from Tennessee, who looked like he had a rocket for an arm. And then Dedrick Epps is the big tight end from Miami that they let him go, too. I guess when you're behind Antonio Gates, you're probably not going to see much playing time out there. That's probably true. What happens? You just go back as a free agent or what? Yeah, you go back on the market as a free agent. Some teams will assign guys to the practice squad. Yeah. In fact, Crompton, I just read, they just got him to the practice squad. To the practice squad. I wonder what they make a guy on a practice squad. You know, it's so interesting that you bring that up. There's an article about that. I've always wanted to know. Never thought to ask. And I saw an article. Those guys make like five grand a week minimum. Really? Yeah, dude. That's not a bad living for going out and helping the team get ready to play their next opponent. Well, also, the Darrell Rivas saga is finally over. He signed with the Jets, and he's going to play Monday Night Football. Actually, he's going to play. Yeah, I don't know when he's going to play.

38:30Is it Monday night? I think so, yeah. Is there a doubleheader? Yeah, there is. Oh, okay. I was about to lose my mind. Yeah, they've done that now. The last three seasons, they do a doubleheader. He's going to play against the Ravens. The terms of the deal, four years, 46 mil, 32 of that is guaranteed. He is stoked. Cut two. Sorry to the fans. This was a long process. It was rough on me. You know, I'm a football player, and I love to play the game. I'm happy it's over with, so I can go play football now. That guy's a football player. No, he's incredible. He's going to help them tremendously. He's one of the best in the business. By the way, I read something kind of funny about him coming back. They did the Rudy clap for him when he came back on the field. These teammates, they did the slow beginning. That's pretty rad. Pretty funny. Did you catch any of that Boise State game last night? Dude, I wanted to watch it so bad. It was awesome. Did they win? Yeah, they won. They won? They were the... So the big deal with Boise State is, obviously, they're Boise State. They play in kind of a turd conference. And, you know, they've won 15 games in a row. Unreal. And people, you know, they beat OU. People are like, listen, these guys aren't, you know, they're not in the upper echelon. Well, they came out last night and played a really good Virginia Tech team. And they beat them. They had a 17-0 lead that they almost blew. The game was back and forth. It was insane. It came down to a minute 47 left.

40:03They scored a touchdown, and it was insane. 33-30. I guess those guys are for real, man. They beat the 10th-ranked Virginia Tech Hokies last night. I'm telling you, five years ago, nobody knew who Boise State was, and the first time I ever heard of them was that OU game. Yeah. And it was a bowl game. Yeah, it was a bowl game. All of a sudden, wow. This Boise State is like a real team. Yeah, they're legit. But you know how good it was for me to see college football back on Saturday. It was incredible. And your Irish did real good. Irish beat Purdue at Michigan coming up this week. So, man, it was just a great, great weekend. And next weekend's going to be even better because the NFL will be back. So don't call me all weekend, anybody. I can't wait. That's Woods on Sports. Let's see. So what do I got for you? The panel. The panel is where we discuss the... News of the day, some big things that we could debate that have something to them that is debatable. For instance, what do you think about the fact that they might be demolishing 40 homes along I-5 because they're making the freeway bigger? What do you think about that? Now, it's called imminent domain. They may have to do it because it's for the good of the people in the city.

41:2140 different places, they're saying, could be removed if they get this approved. 18 of them are in Oceanside. About 230 others would be affected. But it's a 27-mile widening of the freeway that they're going to do, which I'm sure will be done sometime next century. Your kids will be graduating high school. Yeah, my kids' kids will get to drive on that. But anyway, Woodsy, what do you think about that? You know, man, I think that sucks for the homeowners. Obviously, you set up shop, and you've got your house, and everything's all good, and then somebody comes knocking on your door telling you, hey, we're going to have to knock your place down. Here's the way I look at it. You better pay me, and you better pay me well. You better pay me what my home's worth and more because of the inconvenience of moving.

42:13How about you, L.O.B.? Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, the government gets to determine what they think your house is worth. I don't know if they use just fair market value or what they do, but yeah, I agree with Woods. You've got to pay for the house. You should pay for moving costs and things like that because, I mean, you're talking people that could be in their house for decades, you know, set up. Yep, I agree. In fact, the one key thing that you said there, to me, L.O.B., was moving costs. Oh, yeah. I don't want, like that, everybody in the world hates to move. Nobody likes it. It stinks. So if you move me, these are the things that are important to me. Air conditioning. Air conditioning. That's it. I can almost deal with whatever you got for me, but I need, well, okay, two things. Please no rodents where I'm going. And air conditioning. If those two things can be achieved, I believe I can live a normal. prosperous and happy life. Really? But if there are rodents or if there is no air conditioning, I'm going to be, God was testing me. Holy Toledo. When I was in the hospital, first night I'm in the hospital, the air conditioning in the place breaks. Oh no. And it's 80 some degrees in the room and I'm sweating and I've got, you know, I did laparoscopic surgery, but they put 10 holes in me. My stomach looks like Tupac. Yeah, you do. And I,

43:41Was sweating profusely, couldn't get comfortable. It was terrible. And I thought, well, God's up to something. I noticed that when I was rubbing cocoa butter on your belly. You noticed that? You thought that when you were putting vitamin E and you were rubbing it on there? Yeah. The other story is they found in a research study that a low-carbohydrate diet. Now, you know what that is? For those of you that don't know, that means like bread. Pasta. Pasta. Starches. Rice, everything that tastes good. Everything that's good. Yeah. That's a carb. You know what's not a carb? Meat. Meat. Meat's not a carb. Protein. So they say a low carbohydrate diet that derives fats and proteins from vegetable sources rather than meats is probably healthier. That's what it says. And here is a quote from the professor of nutrition at Harvard. What a strange title. I'm the professor of nutrition. That's right.

44:44He says, those who follow the animal-based low-carb diet have an increased risk of total mortality and cancer mortality in particular. Perfect. Here's my question to you for the panel. Is a low-carb diet a bit? Can you live your whole life just eating meat, Woods? When I, my two, three-week diet that I did, when I did protein, tried to do protein only, I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I had no energy. I was tired. I got home from the show. I slept all day. You know, I just, granted, you know, I was losing a little bit of weight, but, man, I need the carbs. I got to have them. I got to have them. Lauren O'Brien? Yeah, I'm a carb junkie. I know I shouldn't be, but I love, you know, I used to run, and the night before you have big pasta dinners and stuff, and I still, if there's pizza or pasta in front of me, I can just take it down to the dome. I don't think I could ever do without it. You know, my thing has always been, I hate diets. Because to me, a diet infers that you're going to change and do this very specific thing. You've got to do moderation. Because you can't go the rest of your life eating Jenny Craig. You can't. I mean, unless...

46:06You just really love the taste of it, and you're just going to do that the rest of your life. Otherwise, you've got to kind of work some stuff in there, right? Moderation's hard, dude. Moderation's hard. I like the 80-20 rule that we talked about before. How does that go again? Like 80% of the time doing quote-unquote what you should and then allowing for that 20% of leeway. That sounds reasonable. Just like good carbs and bad carbs and complex carbs and whatever. I don't need to know any of it. I just need to know. That I'm doing that up for the most part of meeting healthy and I'm exercising and I could do that the rest of but see you eat a lot of red meat So do I and it's bad for us, dude. It's real bad. Not if you eat it. No it listen. Yes. It is. God didn't make us to eat just veggies. Tell my wife this all the time. No, I'm not saying just veggies, but, dude, I eat a ton of red meat. Well, yeah, and that's the problem. Like, you shouldn't just overdo it. Like, you should mix in a salad every once in a while. I have red meat with a salad, but I'm saying I have red meat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like a steak? Yeah, like a steak or like hamburgers. On a salad? No, no, with it. Oh, oh, oh. Like on the side. But I can't just go home and have a salad for dinner. Yeah. I put on 40 pounds over vacation.

47:20I have five chance. Hey, speaking of that, you know who the Black Widow is? She's a competitive eater. Oh, boy. And they did this in Buffalo. They did this wing contest, and she ate 181 wings, beat all dudes. She's in this competition with all dudes, and she won. She's little, too, right? She's little. I don't know how. And then I think to myself, what about the... Doodoo that you got to do. Oh, boy. Ew. You know? Well, honestly, I mean, unless she goes and purges. It's got to. I mean, that cannot be good for you. My best wing showing was 25 naked wings from Hooters. 25. Try 181. 181. Yeah, 181. And after I ate those 25 wings, I was dying. Have you ever seen Man vs. Food? No. Adam Richman. You ever watch sports? Yes. Moderation, Woods. I don't just watch all sports. I try to mix in a little man versus food. I watch The Office. I love what Woods deems dorky. Like, man versus food, he deems that, you know, like Lord of the Rings. You know.

48:37He's got a strange code. Just anything that he's out on. Yeah, it's like if I don't do it, it's nerdy. Exactly. Finally, you guys get it after eight months. This guy, what he does is he travels across the country and he'll take on these challenges. You know, like if you eat this, you get your name on it. And I've said to my wife, I go, that is so, I can't be healthy for him. And he seems to be getting bigger. He's getting fatter. I think so, you know. What kind of stuff? Oh, dude. For example. 72-ounce steak in Amarillo, Texas. Oh, my gosh. And then, like, the manhole-sized omelets, like, stuff like that. Generally, Woods, when he's competing, it's whatever he's eating is generally in the neighborhood of five to six pounds of food. It's always five to six pounds of food at one sitting. That makes my mouth water. Me too, but only because I feel like I'm going to puke. Don't you have to think that he would put on like five pounds every time he ate? Well, see, here's the thing. My wife said, well, you know what he would probably tell you would be his answer to it, is that he doesn't do it every day. Once a week, maybe? I don't know how often they film it.

50:01Yeah. All I know is that... He slays everything that's put in front of him. He loses all the time. Oh, he does. Yeah, so at the end of the show, he'll say, today, food won. Kind of like me. Yeah. The challenges on this show. I mean, dude, but he tears it up. I mean, he gets after it. Wow. The things that he cannot eat are... He usually has a hard time with stuff like ice cream. It's a really weird show. It is. But I love watching him try it. It's weird that we like that. I know. And by we, I mean me. Do you get sick when you watch it? If I watched somebody overeat, I'd be like... I love watching somebody try something really insane. He'll do the hot stuff. Stuff that is just so unbelievably hot. Stuff you've got to sign a waiver to eat. Yeah. I watched him one time eat some Thai food that was really, really hot, and he made the mistake of wiping his eyes. Oh, no. That's a huge mistake. He came here. In fact, we were talking about it. We were talking about it in the break room this morning. I was talking to Jeremy from our engineering department. He came to San Diego and he ate at a place called Taco Libre in Hillcrest. And it looks good. My parents got it for me over the break. It's good food. Okay. So here's what I got to tell you. If you haven't heard about this, Michael Jackson's dad talked about why he spanked Michael.

51:30This audio clip is making big news. We'll play it for you next. Word of the day has not been said yet. You're listening for it. The word of the day today is rainbow. I tell you, I'm already sleeping on my stomach. Attaboy. Are you supposed to? I haven't asked. You know what? You don't really follow doctor's orders very well, by the way. She didn't say that. We should probably talk about that a little bit. What did I do wrong? Your food, first of all. What did I do? When we ordered Thai food at your house the other day. Yeah. Maybe don't get something. She said, don't eat any spicy food. And what do you do? That's not what she said. She said not to eat anything that isn't easily digestible. Right. Like Thai food on a level 10 spiciness. They wouldn't give me 10. They'd give you nine. Nine. I asked for a 10. They said we didn't give out 10s. Then why do you say one through 10?

53:13You say one through nine if you only give up. You have to actually be tied to get the ten. That's right. If you're tied, then you can. Maybe you get a four while you're recovering, pal. I need you here. I need the big guy. What is that going to do? I need the big guy. Yeah, but what is a spicy going to do? Maybe it rips your gut apart. Really? Maybe. You mean you eat it, and it goes in there, and it actually tears your stomach. That's corrosive. Limb. Is that? Is it corrosive, you guys? It is, Mike. You guys are nuts. Burn a hole. Maybe just follow instructions, pal. I like Thai food. I do. I'm a rule follower. Yeah, he was all complaining. This isn't even hot. It's not even hot. He was doing the show-off bit. It's not even hot. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't for me. Rebecca was driving me crazy last night because she doesn't know the difference between... She... I was... And somebody can help me with this. I was eating... horseradish mustard. It was blowing me up. And she goes, how come you can eat really hot stuff but you eat that hot stuff? And I'm like, babe, this isn't hot. It's not. And she goes, well, what is it then? And I go, I don't know how to describe it. There's a difference between spiciness and the thing that blows your sinuses up. Wasabi, horseradish. It's not spicy. It's something else. It's something different. I hate it.

54:30Hoyle will be in at 7.30. He's our station manager to talk about his new band, his auto-tune band. Or as Jay calls it, audio-tune. Audio-tune. Does he really? He calls it audio-tune. He'll begin to talk about his auto-tune band that he has with Woods. It's called Hoyle and Vinegar. And so they're going to be talking about their deal. I'm not in the band, by the way. Hoyle says that you are. I know he does. You are in the band. No, I'm not in the band. What do you mean you're not in the band? It's just... I don't want to be vinegar anymore. Why? I'm out. Because I got other stuff to do. You don't have anything to do. Don't I? It's what? All kinds of stuff. Name one. Baseball. All right. Softball. You do baseball and softball? Yeah. Uh-oh. Man, what is your problem? Kid likes to compete. You know that. I guess so. Word of the day is rainbow. We're talking about a $496 value of what you're going to win in Word of the Day today. Wow. How about that? It's almost.

55:31$500. That's right. Good observation. Think about that. You're going to get a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego Zoo and a pair of tickets to Legoland. We got a real San Diego prize pack today. That's what it is. Michael Jackson's dad, as you know, was not Dad of the Year. No. And was talking about why he spanked Michael. Well, how did it make you feel when he said that he didn't agree with some of the... ways that you raised him? Maybe that you were a bit too strict or, you know? Well, I had to be like that because when raising him on those days, in those days, there's too many gangs out there getting into trouble, going to jail. Some of them, most of them are dead now. You know, and he didn't have to worry about that. Any regrets? Any regrets at all? For what? The way my father was raised. No. No, see, they try to make a big issue when they spank Michael or some of the kids, you know. Just like they didn't spank their kids when they did. The media twists everything. He says that the reason he spanked Michael was to keep him out of gangs. Now, I am fond of saying that two things could be true at once. You know.

56:57This is the general consensus of this clip because this clip is being played on every morning radio show in America today. And everybody's making a big deal out of it. And they hear him say he spanked Michael to keep him out of gangs and people laugh at it like it's a big joke. Like, oh, really? Well, the truth is, is that maybe that did keep him out of gangs. That may actually be true. OK, but there's something else true, too, which is that. From what we hear, he was abused. He wasn't just spanked. He was abused. And what did the spanking... What is the worst that we could say about Michael Jackson? That he's a pedophile. If that's true. But if that's the worst we could say about him, then we go, well, the spanking didn't do much for the pedophilia. You know what I mean? Maybe it fueled it. Well, who knows? I don't know, but what I am saying is that maybe it did keep him out of gangs, but there were some other issues with Michael Jackson. Was he really the gang type? No. Even when he was a little kid, was he really the gang type? He could have been. I did get jumped in. You don't know. I guess. What if I said that I was going to be in a different kind of gang? Like what? Like a gay guy's gang? No. I'm not a gay guy, so why would I be in a gay guy's gang? Are you not?

58:18I'm not. You'd be in like a musical. I was going to be in a musical. West Side Story. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to be in a musical game called The Beats. That's right. And that's what you do. You have a snap off. Yeah. When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way, pal. I wrote that, man. Did you? Yeah. I don't think that's true. It's not. I made it up right there on the spot. And the L.O.B. caught it, man. That's what I'm here for. Can't get away with anything around here. You dyed your hair brown, man. You dyed your skin white. That's true. I guess we have that in common. We like to dye stuff, man. Let me dye my skin and you're dyeing your hair. This is not going to come as a big news flash to that many people, but the president of Iran is nuts. As in cuckoo. Lost his... Cock-a-doodie mind. He says that the peace talks that we have going on with the Middle East right now, which we do, which, by the way, I saw a picture that I thought, oh, man. You have the American side and the Middle East side in between Hillary Clinton, on each side of Hillary Clinton, and they are shaking each other's hands over Hillary.

59:46And I thought, it seemed very disrespectful in the photos. Like they were disregarding her. Like there was no respect for her. And I thought, oh my gosh, how embarrassing to be her. And they're reaching over you to shake hands and they're not respecting your authority. She is a woman. You know what I mean? They are Middle Eastern too. Maybe they don't care. Anyway, here is President Almond Joy. These negotiations are born dead and there is no basis for them. When they do not address the key issues, like the rights of the Palestinian nation and the realities of the region, it is clear that these talks will fail. And the Muppets and Tonka toys and what else? Nutty nuts head. So kooky. They're not going to work. Yeah, they're building a bomb. Yep. They're building a bomb. Oh, boy. This is a retired general saying, they're building a bomb. It's obvious that the Iranians are going to build a nuclear weapon. They have time and they have the resources, and they know Americans are very impatient. So they're in no hurry to weaponize the uranium they have. But if anyone thinks that they're not along the path to doing that, then they're just flat wrong. Yeah. Well, listen, do you think it's scary that Iran is enriching uranium?

1:01:12building nuclear sites that they say that they're going to just give power to their people, you know, energy. Maybe they want to blow up the Jews. Maybe that's what they're doing. They're a scary place. Iran and that president, a scary place. Now, I talked to a woman that's from Iran. And she says that people think he's a joke. The way she described it, she said, like a dog barking in front of the house. You just look at him and you say, ah, he's barking again. It's kind of how some people thought about George W. Yeah. Some people did. Some people. Sienna is our news girl, and she had her baby while we were gone. Little baby Sage. And so she's out right now. She's taking maternity leave. She'll be back in a little bit and it'd be nice to get her back. Is this Sienna? No, this is not. I think we're going to get her on the line. Is this Sienna? Hello? No. Is this Sienna? We got her on there somewhere. We're trying to get her on. Maybe my lines. My lines may be crossed. We're going into a new studio today. Figure that out. Yeah.

1:02:44Hopefully we'll get all the kinks worked out. I just got a message that she's trying to call in. Let's see. As soon as we get her, I'll put her on. For those of you, a lot of people missing her right now. I wonder if she's awake feeding the baby right now. Could be. Could be. They eat so much when they're little. When they're first born. Or when they're 40 and Mexican and a shaved head. They eat so much food. Just can't stop eating food. Is this Sienna? Oh, there she is. Hi, guys. Hi, Sienna. I miss you. I miss you, too. How are you? You sound like it. I'm tired. Sounds like you're tired. I'm tired. You love being a mom? I love it. Do you want to say hi to Sage? Let me talk to her. Hang on. Hang on. She's only two weeks old. Is this Sienna? No, this is Sage. Oh. This is Sage, her baby. Hi, guys. Hi. Sage, let me talk to your mommy.

1:03:51Nice to meet you. Hang on. Mom! Mom! It's Mikey! Hello? Hi, Santa. Hi. So sweet. Talking to you. She just woke up. That's so cute, talking to your daughter. She's real sweet. Hey, is your mom around, Anseth? Hang on. Hi, Anseth. Hi. How are you? That's so awesome. Are any of your... It's a gift. Are any of the other girls there, like Waverly or Avalon? Waverly! Come here. Let me talk to your daughter, Waverly. Hi, Waverly. Hi. How are you? I'm good. Is your sister Avalon there? Hang on. Avalon. Phone. Hello? Hi, Avalon. Hi. How are you? I'm good. You must be so happy to be an aunt. I'm an aunt. It's so great, isn't it? It's really wonderful. Can we talk to the baby again? Yeah, let me talk to Sage. Hang on, hang on. Hello? Hi, Sage. Hi. You're two weeks old, huh? Yeah, I'm getting a pet.

1:04:59How about you? Look at that, already getting a pedicure. That's good. Speaking of mom, let me talk to mom. Sienna. Hi. Good job with the news. Thanks, Sienna. Thanks, Sienna. Appreciate it. Mark, he's been really good. I miss you too. I want to come back to work soon because I don't want to have to do the news. I don't want you either. Hey, real quickly, let me talk to your sister Waverly. Get out of here. This is stupid. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye, Sienna's family. Yeah, bye, Sienna's family. They all sound... Similar. I can tell a difference between all of them, but very similar. Mm-hmm. That's really cool. 570-1949. Hey, is our screen or software working? Because nothing's coming up on the screen.

1:06:13I don't know why. Yeah, all day you've been going, who's this? I know it. All day, is it not working? Test that puppy out. Test that sucker out. Maybe we go to the new studio and make it right. Well, you are, man. We're going to start practicing there today. I can't wait. Studio M is all ready to go. Lauren's going to shut down the system and restart it and see if we can get this thing going. Sienna sounded good. Isn't it great to hear her voice? It is. I miss her terribly. Sounds great to hear her. Yep. Oh, this is going to fire people up. That's great. Jay's giving me a note. We got a lady on the line. Her name is M1 Lori. And Jay just talked to her. And she's calling about her son. Are you there, Lori? You're calling about your son? Yes. How old is your son? My son is 21. Okay. And what were you calling about with him? Well...

1:07:22I know he listens to the show. Yeah. And I am calling to talk about him buying a motorcycle. I know you guys are going to agree with me, and I'm hoping you'll talk him out of it. What is it? Well, here's the thing. His name is Jack. He lives at home. He wants to buy a motorcycle. He can't afford a motorcycle. Doesn't work a whole lot. He's just going down this bad path of piercings. He's getting a tattoo. All of a sudden, all these changes, and I am totally against the motorcycle thing. He's 21? Totally. He's 21. Is he your only son, or do you have other kids? He has a sister. Older or younger? Younger. Younger as in under 18?

1:08:28Yeah, she's 16. Well, if she was getting a motorcycle and a tattoo and piercings, then I definitely think that you would be in your right mind to say and do something about it. But I thought you said that Jack is 21. Maybe I heard you. No, Jack is 21. So now are you calling from a different country where the legal age for an adult is 44? But that's the caveat, bro. What is the caveat? He lives at home. Oh, he lives at home. Oh, yeah. That's the caveat. Yeah, I'm down. Sure. Yeah, you know what? You can say, listen, you can tell him. Okay, yeah, wait. First of all, I got to get this out there. People have to know. that this is the way that I feel about it. If you live at home, all bets are off. Exactly. Doesn't matter how old you are? No, dude. You could be 55, and if your mom says, listen, you're going to drink it. Don't start talking about that. She's my roommate. Listen, if you live at home, you'd be 55, and if your mom says you have a glass of milk with dinner, if you don't like it, you don't have to stay there. Move out. I love this whole thing of like,

1:09:48Hey, listen, I want everything my way. I want to live at home. I want to pay this cheap rent. I want to be able to have my rules. Please, if you're living at home and your mom has some weird rules, guess what? There's one way to not have to deal with that. Yeah, so let me ask you this. If he moved out, would you feel differently about this? Yes, I think I would. All the financial, everything would land on him. Right. Whereas when a kid's at home and all of a sudden they don't have this and they have that, then they're bugging you to support their service. Hey, Lori, you said something there that I think is really important to remember. So here's M1 Lori calling in about a 21-year-old kid, and she's saying, I don't want him riding a motorcycle. I don't want him getting tattoos. I don't want him getting all these piercings, blah, blah, blah. And at first I was like, What are you talking about? He's an adult. But then I find out, oh, he lives at home. Okay. You got to ask yourself, why does he live at home? The answer is probably, well, I'm trying to save some money. Really? With a tattoo and the motorcycle? Getting your tongue pierced real good? Yeah. It was free? You find some place giving out tattoos to a needy family? Right. I mean, give me a break. That would see me as a hopeful, hopefully soon to be a parent. That would drive me.

1:11:15Batty and I guess it's probably what drove my dad batty when I lived at home and I was going out five nights a week Yeah, you know spending 50 60 100 bucks Yeah, all the money I worked for was you know was drinking and partying having a good time trying to meet girls Yeah, I'm sure that's why why he went insane. Yeah, hey listen 5701949 Maybe I'm wrong and you have a different opinion of it and you think that if you live at home You should be able to you know, you shouldn't have to put up with mommy rules. Although, I have a feeling Lori wouldn't be okay with the piercings and the tattoos. I don't think so either. No matter what. Well, she wouldn't be okay with it. My parents weren't okay when I got my stupid flaming softball on my back. But what could they do? I didn't live at home. I paid for it myself. There's really not much they can do. When you're out on your own and you're earning your own way, hey, mom, you may not like it, but this is how it's going to be. Exactly. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't get the tattoos and the piercings. If he was out on his own, because then he wouldn't have the money. He'd need to get food and pay bills, right? Absolutely. And a motorcycle would be far down on the list. It'd be one of those luxury fantasy things for down the road once he got established. Hey, thanks for the call, Lori. Great call. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys. 5701949. Maybe you're in that situation. You're like, I don't want my mom. I live at home. My mom doesn't tell me what to do. My mom doesn't tell me what time I can come and go. She doesn't give me all these rules.

1:12:40Maybe that's true. Maybe she doesn't. But the truth of the matter is, if you live at home, she could. Absolutely. And if you don't like it, you could split. And she's got a leg to stand on, too. Sure. You know, your bit of, hey, I'm an adult. Great. If you're an adult, you know what an adult does? Guy has his own one-bedroom apartment. Yeah. Maybe somebody disagrees. 5701949. Love to hear the logic on that one. It'd be hard to fight us on that one. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I lived at home. My parents didn't make me pay any rent. I was a dirtbag. And I'll tell you right now, I was a dirtbag. And I'm telling you, I'm not going to let my kids do it. I promise you. I learned a lot from some of the things that my parents didn't do with me. They spoiled the kid a little bit. I learned a lot. That's not going to happen. Kids are going to get the belt real good. I've got to say, I disagree. You guys, you're saying that they can't get a tattoo just because they live underneath her house? Well, if that's what her rule is. No, that's not a rule. If that's her rule. Yeah. It could be. I would be in on time. But those are your rules. Yeah. Right. But you can't tell somebody what they can and can't do on their body just because they live underneath your roof. Yeah, you can. But you could say if you get a tattoo, you're out. She could easily say that. What does that make you? It makes you a parent.

1:13:50I would get a tattoo just to prove her wrong. Okay, great. Kick me out. Go ahead. Do it. Really? I would. I don't even want a tattoo. If you're saying kick me out, you're not really in a position of kick me out. You need her. That's why you're there. You're an adult. My kids are all adults. Not all, but the kids they live in, they still have to come home at a certain time because I just don't want to be up all night. But any other decisions they make. Why? Why are you telling them what to do, Jay? They're adults, man. What are you doing telling them what to do? I'm telling you tattoos. It's a free country. It's a free country, man. It's all up to you after you turn 18. That's just the way it's going to be. But those are your rules. Yeah, what about coming home on time? Isn't that up to them? Hey, that happens inside my house. It's inside my house. Sort of piercings that look stupid. No, he gets his piercings happen outside. But you still got to look. Did you have your belly button pierced at one point? Yeah, but you still got to look at it. I had my nose pierced. You did? She's out of the house. You had your nose pierced? Yeah. Yeah, but that's a choice you make as an adult. I set the guidelines of time you come in, but everything else, like if you want to ride a motorcycle, if you want to get a tattoo, all that kind of stuff is up to you. I will advise you against it, but ultimately it's their decision. Mikey Show, who's this?

1:14:59Hey, good morning. This is Pablo. What do you think, Pablo? I actually had a question on the other side. What happens if, let's say, an older mother moves in with a son after she's, you know, widowed or something? What a great question. I was actually thinking about that, too. If it's a situation where the kid's not living with their mom because they have to, but because, you know, something like that happens. Because it sounds like her son is living at home to save money and he never left. Yeah. Well, and let's say that my mother moved in with Jamie and I into our home. Yeah, that's my rules. It's my house. And I'm supporting you now. Yeah. No, my rules at my house. And even if you're going, even if it were reversed and say you went to go live with your mom to keep her company. Like if my dad passed away. Yeah, that's the service that you're doing her. You're not moving there because you need money. But still. Hey, that's a situation. Is it? I'm helping my mom. I'm helping my mom. Then why does she make your lunch? Because she knows that I don't like crust. I don't cut it the same way. I'm trying to make her feel better by making her son a nutritious lunch. So it's a selfless act of pity. It's a selfless act of allowing a mother to nurture. I thought she was a roommate. She is. Speaking of Hoyle, he's going to play us the latest from Hoyle and Vinegar, his band that he has with Woods. We're going to do that for you coming up next.

1:17:08Tropical Storm Hermione. That's a character on Harry Potter. How do you spell it? Hermione. Did you say it Hermione? It's a character on Harry Potter. It's not Hermine? No, it's Hermione. Hermione. Best they could do, huh? Yeah. Well, anyway, they're saying that this sucker is moving towards the Texas border. They think it might reach hurricane strength winds pretty soon. We should send a correspondent down there. We should. See what's going on. Cardiff kook. Statue that they put the shark around. Which, by the way, Woods and I met the guys that did the shark. The pranksters? The pranksters. Oh. Were they good looking? Yeah, he's pretty sharp. Was he? Yeah, he's a pretty sharp kid. I don't even remember. Don't you? I don't. He's very attractive. I'm trying to remember the guy that we talked to. Sharp guy. Yeah.

1:18:07Eric is supposed to be the ringleader. They dressed him up as Zorro. I saw it. You did? Cape and everything? Mask? This is the new bit, huh? It's an old bit. It's a new old bit? I saw him dressed up as a girls lacrosse player. He was that last week. Crazy. Do the cops take off the costumes? I don't know who takes it off. It eventually comes down, but it stays up for a while. He had the lacrosse net in his hand, and those things are like $60. Yeah. So I wonder if the guys just come back and get it down later. Maybe they got it from Played Against Sports. Yeah, $10. It could be. I like the idea of dressing him up. Me too. It keeps things interesting. I told my brother the whole story. I went on and on and on and on, and he goes, yeah, Carly told me yesterday. I was like, and then they built a shark? Terrible when they let you go through the whole story. Let you tell the whole story. Yeah. Like a child. You're all excited like a little kid. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, Charlie Hoffman didn't just win a golf tournament yesterday. He won the Deutsche Bank Championship. He gets a lot more from winning this tournament. The guy gets to play in all four majors now. Yeah. And gets a shot.

1:19:21at some really big prizes, man, down the road, possibly a Ryder Cup berth as well. Here he is talking about his victory, cut three. Oh, I mean, it's a no-brainer. It's the best ever. I mean, go out and shoot 62 on a pretty tough golf course on Sunday. Or on Monday, sorry, on Labor Day. It's fun. Yeah, the guy had a great time. Yeah, he did. Also, well, Reggie Bush. Is going to be losing his Heisman. Is he really? According to sources. You know what kind of dirtbag you got to be to lose a Heisman? OJ still has his. First guy in 75 years to lose a Heisman trophy. Reggie Bush. Way to go. But that was because it was directly related to his performance. Still. Guy was ruled ineligible for the last half of 04 and then 05. So they're going to yank that Heisman back from that little guy. They're going to give it to the next guy? Nope. Nobody gets it. Nobody gets it. Would you want it if you were the next guy? I'd be like. Yeah, I don't want that. I would. Hey, I got a Heisman. I want a Heisman. They can just give it to me. Yeah. So he's going to be losing his Heisman. You know who doesn't lose their Heisman? Wow. You like reporting on that story because Reggie Bush went where? Yeah. Maybe follow the rules. I think you overreact. Dude, he's the first guy in 75 years to lose a Heisman. Did I overreact? That's because he goes to USC. But, yeah, I mean.

1:20:42If he went to Boise State, would you care that much? Yeah. You would? Yeah, I think he was a dirt bag. 5701949 is our number. Word of the day is rainbow. So when you hear us cleverly work the word rainbow into a sentence, you be calling number nine at 5701949. Four-pack of tickets to the zoo and a pair of tickets to Legoland. It's worth $496. How about that? Not bad. Very good. Not bad work if you can get it. Obama has a new stimulus plan. It was making big news. And what is it? What I gathered, $50 billion to help repair roads, railways, and runways. $50 billion with a B? With a B. And they're saying basically this is going to get a lot of jobs back. Construction workers, electricians that haven't had.

1:21:40Anything to do. Union workers. Union workers, things like that. These guys are going to be back in business. But, man, it's, you know, it's being obviously opposed by the Republicans. It's a whole, whole big, big. I mean, the article I read just had some nasty quotes in there about our president. That's for sure. It's got a very low approval rating right now. Yeah. You know, I don't think the guy's going to see a second term. I really don't. I mean, I voted for the guy, but I don't think he's going to see a second term. I just I can't fathom it right now. even support him are saying, wow, you're doing a lot of stuff we didn't want you to do. John McCain, what do you think about it? What do you think that they're up to, the Democrats? They're just flailing around. Let's give some more tax breaks to small businesses and large, and then maybe the American people will have some confidence. You know, John McCain was saying to do this a while back.

1:22:37My reaction is that we always like to see deathbed conversions, but the fact is if we'd have done this kind of thing nearly a couple of years ago, we'd be in a lot better shape. But Obama has nothing to do with that. He wasn't here a couple of years ago. Yeah, he was. Hindsight's 20-20, pal. He was here in 08. He said almost a couple of years ago. So he's here 08. That's the thing. That's the big question, right? That's what you got to ask yourself as you go. At what point do you start? At what point can you stop blaming the previous administration? I don't think ever. I mean, I think that's what, you know, I mean, I think that's what you do. Oh, my gosh. So what's he sent? I think it was Woodsy. Did you send me the Alabama governor? I did. I did. You see it, L.O.B.? Holy cow. It's good. Is it? Well, here's my question to you. I'm going to play you this. This is a commercial that's running right now for this guy that's running for, his name is Tim James. He's running for governor of Alabama. And I want to gauge what you think about this. 570-1949. Listen to his television commercial. I'm Tim James. Why do our politicians make us give driver's license exams in 12 languages?

1:23:58This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live here, learn it. We're only giving that test in English if I'm governor. Maybe it's the businessman in me, but we'll save money. And it makes sense. Does it to you? Wow. Very dramatic pause at the end. Guess his family came over on the Mayflower. Right? I mean, come on, dude. This is America, pal. This is the melting pot of the world. Give us your tired, your hungry, you know? I mean, are you kidding me? Now, clearly, Woodsy makes the point of a lot of people are screaming racist. Well, it's obviously racist. Maybe not racist. That's racist. Maybe it's ethnicist. I don't know. We give the driver's license test in 12 languages, and we ain't going to do that anymore since we're in Alabama. You speak English, boy, if you want to live here. Hey.

1:24:58You speak American. Yeah, these colors don't run. That's right. All right? If you live in America, try speaking American. I mean, dude, that is such a tired bit. Yeah, we don't even have an official language as a country. I mean, on this show, my family came from Scotland. Your family came from Ireland. Your family came from Mexico. Jay's family came from wherever. I mean, come on. Here's the thing. In other countries, you know, they do. in many cases, cater to English-speaking people. Of course. In the other side of the world, Thailand, you know, there's messages under there in English for you. Yeah, I mean, I just think that it's a... Now, don't ever let this escape you. This guy will probably have a lot of popularity because of that message. 100%. Well, maybe it's just a message. Maybe some people should take it to heart and not want to live in Alabama if that's the way they're going to be treated, which will come back to bite him. There will be a lot of people in Alabama that think that it's a racist message, but there's going to be a lot of people in Alabama that go, good for him, man. Hey, I don't need no filthy Mexicans coming around here speaking Mexican. Yeah. Hey, you're going to live here. He's telling the truth, man. Speak English. This is America.

1:26:21When I saw that thing, I almost fell out of my chair. I was like, I can't believe this guy is the stones. Just come on, say that. And it's set to nice piano music. It's a contrast. I'm Tim James. Why do our politicians make us give driver's license exams in 12 languages? Because this is America. This is a melting pot. Because we don't have an official language. This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live here, learn it. i think it's amazing he's able to get through the whole commercial yeah i like the dramatic pause when you watch it he looks down for a minute like he's thinking like yeah that's right we're only giving that test in english if i'm governor maybe it's the businessman in me but we'll save money and it's hard to hear him through the whole commercial through his hood but the thing that's really maybe it's the klansman in him yeah oh my gosh maybe it's a klansman in me but i feel like When I was voted Grand Imperial Dragon, the first order of business was. The first thing I said was, when I get in there, I'm going to make him stop giving this test in anything but American. I don't know if he can actually even do that. I guess he can be the governor. I mean, I worked for a student loan company and all the government, like every single piece of paper.

1:27:41application or anything like that if it was given in English you had to give it in these other languages as well because it was mandated and it had to be every single thing had to be translated you know I grew up in Texas okay and I grew up in a family that maybe had some of those undertones not my direct family but my extended family and you know it's until I moved to Chicago that I really got an understanding of really what a melting pot our country is and One of my best friends in the world is Greek. His dad is Greek. His mom's Polish, barely speaking English. They own a business. They run a business. I had friends that were Iranian. I had friends from all over the world, man. And that's what makes our country so great is that we should be accepting of those folks. 570-1949. Give us a call and tell us what you think. Mikey Show, who's this? Yeah, just real quick. Your girl said we don't have an official language here. I think we do. It is America. I don't think we do. Yeah, you might double check it, hon. No, no, no. What she's saying is that other countries, like for instance, Mexico's official language is Spanish. And what she's saying is that on record, on record, that the United States of America does not have English listed as an official language.

1:29:05I might double check. Like I said, they wrote everything in the Constitution all in English, so I'm pretty sure that's official language. Well, you're saying that it's an unspoken official language, which may very well be true. But I think Lauren's point is, is that on record, English is not listed as an official language in this country. And maybe the reason for that is because we're such a melting pot. Right, and that might be. But I think if it's America, ask the person what's the official language, they've got to say American. Well, sure. I mean, people are going to say English. People are going to say English. I mean, we're a country founded by immigrants, period. Have a good day, folks. Thanks. See you, bud. Bye-bye. But, I mean, listen, man. Woodsy's right. Everybody's—nobody was living here. Right. We all came here. The Native Americans. Yeah. That's it. I mean, they were the only ones that were living here. Yeah. Yeah, like I said, Tim James, hopefully, I guess his family came over and colonized America, Mr. Governor. Makes sense. Does it to you? Does it to you? No, Toby Keith, it doesn't. It's a little different in Alabama. Yeah, a little bit. We like to do things a little different around here. Now, if you don't like it, get. I got a pickup truck. I want you to meet. Get. Yeah, get.

1:30:26Wikipedia list none is language for the U.S. There you go, Jay. Yeah, get. Yeah, I mean, yes, we speak English here, but that doesn't mean it's the official language. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number. If you want to give us a call and weigh in, every phone line is lit right now, so good luck if you're trying to get through to weigh in on it. On fire. Mikey Show, what's your name? M1V, are you there? Hey, I'm here. Not too much. Go ahead. I don't disagree. I don't either. I don't disagree. I think that the issue that I have is that his platform, what he's running on, is this notion of...

1:31:28If you live here, you better speak it. Whereas I think that if he were to say what you just said, nobody has an issue with that. I think to tell people that they should learn the language, that's fair. But to run on that as a platform, I think you run the risk of sounding racist. What's the right word? Population? Population, that's right. It's not predominantly white compared to Alabama. So you're able to do that then. People won't take it as racist. They'll be like, oh, it makes sense. It's kind of... I get it, dude. Thank you, V. There's something about that accent. I'm Tim James. Yeah. Why do our politicians... I don't know, man. There's something just... I hear that. And I go, oh, man. There's something that makes me... As a brown guy, very uncomfortable. A little nervous. A little nervous. Yeah, a little nervous. I'm a little nervous. Hey, Mikey, what's your last name? Welcome to dinner, by the way. Glad you're here to meet my daughter. What's your last name? In 12 languages. Oh, Mr. James, it's Esparza. Is that right?

1:33:03Pass the white bread, will you? Thank you, darling. Well, let me ask you, Mr. Espenarza. What sort of name is that, anyway? Is that Greek? Italian? Italian? Spanish? What is that? This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live... That's Mexican, sir. Is that right? You don't say. You don't say. Some bitch. You don't say some bitch. It's Mexican, huh? Huh. Baby, uh, why don't you give me and Mr. Espenarza a minute here alone, sweetheart? Espenarza. I'm going to talk to your new boyfriend for a minute, all right? Your new friend. Let me talk to your new friend. You run along now, sweetheart. And let me tell you something, my little bean-eating friend. If you lay your hand on my daughter, I'm going to cut it off.

1:34:08I'm not talking about your hand. Your filthy hand. Your filthy little brown hand. I'll come out here and rough talk him and run him off. I bet you that guy's voting for Tim James. Guaranteed. What do they call that? Horchata? Is that what it is? That drink? Cinnamon milk. Cinnamon milk? This is water, sir. We don't have any cinnamon milk for you, boy. If that's what you're looking for. We don't drink cinnamon milk around here. I made us a brisket for dinner. I guess you're going to want a tortilla with it. All right? You're going to want to wrap that up in some tortillas and maybe some fried bananas. Hey, honey, why don't you refry them beans in there? We ain't got any Tabaski sauce. Yeah. Ain't got none of that. Where'd you park your burrah? I don't want your burrah crapping in my yard. I don't want, yeah. Don't leave them outside, Miss Barnchie. It's cold out. Did you bring your poncho?

1:35:07You bring your winter poncho? Are them hirachi sandals you got on? No, sir. Those are Nikes. This is a party. We better not have any pinatas around. How do you pronounce that in your language? It's pronounced Nike. Sure, it's not Nikkei. It ain't Nikkei or something like that? Oh, for goodness sake. M1 Daniel, you there? I'm here. Go ahead. All right. Good. Well, you know, I came here when I was like... 16, you know, I have to learn the language as well. And, you know, I was in the hospital the other day with these Filipino nurses and they were talking on their own language. And just like that, they're looking at you, you know, kind of like talking about you. And I do the same thing sometimes, you know, with my brother. We're too cautious to each other and just in the room just speaking with you. Yeah, but what are you going to do? Are you going to speak Filipino? How come it doesn't apply to you? Right. No, I'm saying, I mean, we all should be like nice to each other.

1:36:13Well, yeah, but you're not going to speak Filipino, right? I don't know what I'm saying. Yeah. But also, just be polite. At least, you know, try to end if you do. Yeah, hey, I got no issue. But when those Filipino nurses go to take their driver's test... it's going to be a lot more comfortable for them if it's in Filipino than it is in English. Well, what about when you get your citizenship test? Do you have to speak a certain amount of English? Because I would think if I was trying to become an Italian citizen, I should know some Italian, you know? Makes sense. Makes sense to me. You're going to play oil and vinegar? You're just going to sit there all day long talking about Mexicans? I'm talking about your governor. Yeah, your favorite governor. I'm familiar with Tim James. I'm sure. The latest auto-tune from oil and vinegar. Hey, Jesse James has apparently moved on from Sandra Bullock. Dating somebody new. Weird. Although, he's quick to point out that we don't know if it's his girlfriend, don't we? So, play you that clip, too. Don't go away. 10 o'clock this morning. When Hillary gets in here, we're going to be announcing the FM 94.9 8th anniversary bash and the lineup.

1:38:02Real good. Brace yourselves. Five people on the Mikey Show. Myself, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. Sienna's out right now. She's on maternity leave. Little baby Sage was born while we were gone. And cutest little girl, man. Oh, my girl. Okay. Oh, wow. Just a baby. She's already a B cup. Oh, gross. Why don't y'all talk about the... Why don't y'all talk about what... What Woods and I did over the weekend. Hoyle, relax. Yeah, chill out. You're like Eskimo Blue Waters over here, man. Trying to get your stuff played. Hey, listen. You're supposed to talk about it a while back. Mikey didn't get to it. Weird. Yeah. We did tease it, too. You're right, Hoyle. We did. Yeah. Can I peel the curtain back, Hoyle? Yeah, go right ahead, man. So yesterday, I woke up, hit the shower, brushed my teeth, went downstairs, was doing a little work in my office.

1:39:03And I see this pickup truck drive up and park outside my house. Oh, gosh. And I'm like, well, who's this? That's Daisy. Yeah, I know. That's my pickup truck. All of a sudden. Complete with that horn? All of a sudden, guess who gets out of the freaking truck? Hoyle. With my auto-tuned backpack. With his backpack. Guy thinks he's in Ghostbusters. This big old backpack. Looked like Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters. Oh, geez. Here's what happened. Oh, wow. All my dogs. 957,000 dogs. Hello. Hey, buddy. Hello. What are you doing here? I'm here to record. It's Labor Day. I know it ain't called couch day. That's how we're going to get to work. Why does it sound like it's auto-tuned even now? He auto-tunes everything. He keeps it on. I just always run the auto-tune. Just in case. He has that stupid backpack with the auto-tune stuff in it, and he's got like the... Remember when Garth Brooks...

1:40:05started wearing the microphone, like the earpiece. Microphone, like Madonna wears it, Britney Spears. Yeah, Hoyle walks up with that stupid thing. I can take it on and off. I can put it in my fanny pack. I know. I have my fanny pack on. Clown. And if I want, I can take off the microphone and put it in the fanny pack. You don't need to wear a fanny pack and a backpack, Hoyle. Sometimes I don't have enough room in the backpack. Don't you think it's a little over the top? What? Jeans shorts, rope belt, showed up, braided belt, real good. Tank top, white tank top. Easy, ladies. Gosh, darn girls love it. Oh, yes they do, Woods. Braided belt? Those white pants you're wearing right now? Yeah. It's after Labor Day, you're not supposed to be wearing this. That's right. I can't wear white after Labor Day? That's the rule. Oh, excuse me, I didn't get the mimeograph. That's not a word. It's short for memo. Not relevant. Right now. We're going to get to work. Why are you at my home? Because we have to record, buddy. You know, Mikey is off of bed rest and it's time to go. How did you get my address? HR. Come on in. It's got to be illegal. HR. I can do whatever I want. I'm a station manager.

1:41:19If I want to go to HR and ask Karen for your address, I can do it. You did it because you showed up at my house on my day off. How about one of these little babies here? They're just so cute. You ready to get to work and sing up some good songs? Now, I've been thinking. You know what's popular right now? What's that? Anything that ethnic groups are singing. I'm talking about. I'm talking about hip hop. Okay. You know I'm whispering. Why? Never know if they're listening. They're going to reach out for the NAACP. Yeah, that's true. One of my neighbors is African American, so keep it on the down low. Black guy. He's a black guy. He's a black guy. He's a black guy. What about Katy Perry? She's not ethnic. She's not ethnic. Isn't she? No. What is she? She's white. I've heard the records. I don't think she is. She's white. All right, well, I want to do that new song she has. The one where she goes... Uh, no. It's California. She goes... You know that one. It's a big hit. The one with Snoop Dogg? You ever go dancing? No, no, I don't. You're a jerk. You don't like to dance? No, I watch sports. Oh, my goodness. Hole was out last night tearing it up. Come on, get on iTunes or something, man.

1:42:55Is he talking about... He's talking about this song, right? Oh, yeah. See what I'm saying? I was wondering what the heck he was doing. I did the song exactly like she did it. Oh, I hate this band. Come on, sing it. That's terrible. Do you know what they're singing? It's like an anthem for her and all the other California girls. Right, and that's sexy. That's not supposed to be for a middle-aged man to be singing on autotune. Yeah, exactly. Well, then fine, I'll take some of the autotune out. Is that the problem? No, it's the fact that you're a middle-aged man singing a California girl's anthem. How about the fact that I'm young, at heart, I'm hip? You're still a dude, right? What does that have to do with it? I like things that are popular.

1:44:02I like it. I like it. I want to get your ratings. Well, that's not going to help. You do it through what's popular out there. You wearing Daisy Dukes and waving your arms in the air seeing Katy Perry is not going to go. They weren't Daisy Dukes. Mama got them at pennies. Well, I like it. Thank you. Sorry, Shants. Thank you. Oh, boy. Shants are half shorts and half pants. Yeah, I know. Maybe don't come to my house ever again. I can come over there if we got work to do. You weren't calling me, and I've been hitting you up on text and blowing up your celly. I know. I was off work. Celly. You didn't answer one text. I know. Leave me alone. I was off. You know, spending time with my family. Nice work ethic, pal. I mean, quality is job nine. Yeah. What? Quality is job nine. Good job. Thanks. I'm here today. Look at my break, Will. Chicken ass taking names, pal. That's right. Oh, my gosh. Jesse James is over Sandra Bullock. He's moved on. Rebound. Real good. Yeah, you know who he's dating. Porn star? Nope. I already did that. Okay, check. Tattoo artist. Kat Von D. Fair enough. Perfect. Duh. So listen to this. It's pretty obvious that we're dating. There you go.

1:45:27That's not Jesse. That was Jesse. No, no, no. That's Kat Von D. That's Justin Bieber or no? Mikey, that couldn't be Jesse because that was a man talking. Nope. Kat Von D. It's pretty obvious that that's not a man. It's pretty obvious. Why do I do CNN every time? I don't hang out with anybody unless I'm in love. Ow. I don't hang out with anybody unless I'm in love. Whoa. She dropped the L-bomb in there. Hi, Mikey. It's Kat Von D here. I don't hang out with anybody unless I'm in love. That's right. I think she means, like, romantically. What I translate to is I don't slay anybody. that I'm not in love with, as far as you know. Is that what she's saying? If we speak Kat Von D, she's saying that hang out means to have sex? She lets it all hang out. Get it? I'm at a point in my life where I think I deserve to be happy, and she makes me really happy. I'm at a point in... The whole thing gets me wound up. She makes me really happy. I'm at a point in my life... where I deserve to be happy. Aren't you always at a point in your life where you deserve to be happy? You always deserve to be happy. Don't you? Maybe he's saying, I got the dirt ball out of me. I think he's saying, I've had it so rough over the last few months with my bit with Sandra Bullock that now I really feel that I deserve to be happy because he's had it so rough. Maybe he felt like before he didn't deserve to be happy because he was a jerk. I don't deserve to be happy, by the way. Yes, you do. Uh-uh.

1:46:59I disagree. Why? Because I believe that happiness is a... Heart, sadness, fear? No, anger. I was waiting to see if you had a new bit for it. I believe that happiness is smiles, hugs, and kisses. No. No, I believe that happiness is a gift. Yeah, it's a gift, but that doesn't mean... I don't deserve it. ...that you don't deserve it. Dude, you know what I deserve? Punishment. Well, we all deserve. Right. We all deserve. So that's why I wouldn't say that. No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that if we are happy, it's pretty cool. It's a bonus. I do. I mean, that's the way I think of it. I don't think that it's a right. I'm not entitled. That's the key word. There's a sense of entitlement there. I'm entitled and deserve happiness. That is a product of the 20th century, in my opinion. That's Dr. Phil talk. That's. Psycho babble. You don't think everyone deserves to be happy? I don't think that it's a, I don't think that we're entitled to it, no. And I don't think that we deserve, look at the word deserve. What does that mean, deserve? Getting something for doing something. Yeah, it means that we deserve it. You know, I mean, please, if you follow that train of thought, that means, okay, then does that mean if you are entitled to be happy because of the good that you've done,

1:48:24What does it say about the bad that you've done? I think in his case, he's saying, I deserve to be happy in spite of all the bad that I've done. Oh, that's fine. Say that. He went through enough bad. I'm fine. Say it. I think people that are overall good people, they all deserve to be happy. Who's overall a good person? Most people. We've had this debate. I'm with Mikey on this one. I think most people are. Not inherently good. No, we're selfish and I think yeah selfish and I think Dishonest and I think sometimes, you know, I think sometimes you have to fight to be good I think it's you're inherently good and then you you learn how to do these bad No, and I but see I think I think that I'm right there with Mike on this I think that you know, I think we're born to be bad. Hey, here's a perfect example I look at my little kids man and I see It's a joke now, but my twin boys are a year old, and it's a joke that Lukey's the one that's the rebel. But I'm telling you, man, he behaves differently than Jake did, and he behaves differently than Ryan did. At one year old. At one years old. And dad's not teaching him. Right. Yeah. That's him. They have little kids. That's one out of three. Yeah, but I can tell you a bunch of ways this weekend that Jake was bad.

1:49:47I mean, he's just a bad, he wasn't, he's a bad listener. He's had a lot of outside influences. He has, but the stuff that he was doing, he has, but the stuff that he was doing was motivated by selfishness. It was motivated because Jake wanted what Jake wanted, which when you look at why we're bad as grownups, that's why we do it. We do the bad things that we do because we want what we want. But that's, I think that's a learned trait. Like I see my two little six month old nieces. who don't know yet that they can use their powers to get things from their parents. But don't they, though? Not yet. They're acting on total instinct. But check it out, L.O.B. If you're right, if what you were saying is correct, that would mean that what is instinctual for your niece is for her to go out of her way to give herself pleasure. It means that you don't think of yourself, that you inherently think of the... comfort of others before you think of the comfort of yourself, which is what we are doing when we're doing bad stuff. It's because we want what we want. And if we were doing the right thing, what we were doing is be putting ourselves to the side and going, you know what, what you want is more important to me right now than what I want. Think about the bad things that happen that we do.

1:51:05I mean, just any of them. Think about why we lie. Think about why we cheat. Think about why we steal. Because it feels good. Because we want, we want, we want. And don't you think that even at six months old, don't you think that that little kid, either one of your nieces or my kid that's out there somewhere and I'm going to have him someday, don't you think they kind of know in their head, if I cry, I get what I want? Well, I think all kids are blank canvases and they are what you make them or what you let them be. Because trust me, we had it over the weekend, Jasper's. A good kid almost all the time. But yesterday, he was tired, and he decided he was going to be crabby, and he was going to be a pain in the butt. And we just full-on laid it right out. Hey, you cannot act this way. And he's like, oh, okay, I won't. And he didn't. But do you disagree with what I'm saying, Jay, in that when you do something wrong, you're doing it because you want what you want? Oh, absolutely. And you just have to, you have to train yourself or you teach your kids not to do that. You know, it's like you can't, you can't continue to act that way. You know, and it's the kids that don't get taught that, that grow up to be bad kids. But the point is, is that is what is natural. Natural. That's the, that's our whole, our whole. I wouldn't say it's natural. It's what they're taught. I don't think so. I think it's natural, bro. I've got kids. So do I. But, but, but Jay, if, if what you're saying is correct, that means that what would come natural to, to, to your kids, us.

1:52:24Every human being on Earth, what would come natural is, I want to do what you want, not what I want. That's not natural for us. I think what happens is that kids see all different types. Jasper can hang out with one friend, and as soon as he comes back in, I'm like, oh, he's been hanging out with that one kid. And he learned bad habits from that one kid. I understand, but dude, that means that if your kid, that you're telling me that your kid would never be bad if you raised him out in the middle of the wilderness? He would be bad, but... I mean, all kids are going to have their ups and downs, but I don't think they come pre-programmed. What do you think those downs are about? I think the downs are. I mean, just like anybody else, you have downs if you're tired. You start to be a little more selfish when you're tired. Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's who I am. And that's me, too. And I think that's what's inherently in me. I mean, hey, you're talking to a guy that has to fight to be good sometimes. And I mean fight. Fight, fight, fight. Fight not to write back somebody that calls me a name. Fight to... Because it would feel real good. Oh, man. To put them on blast would feel great. You're also 35. Well, I know. But we still struggle. It was born in me. That's what I'm saying. Even at 35, I fight daily to be a good dude. But see, you're learning. I mean, you're still learning. Exactly. I'm still learning. But I think I was... I literally think, and I believe it wholeheartedly, that...

1:53:44When you're born, you're born to do bad stuff. I don't think so. That's a horrible outlook. But I think it's true. It's not an outlook. I think it's the truth. It's your opinion. Selfishness. We're selfish. Yeah, for sure, man. We want what we want. 570194. Most people are selfish, but don't you believe that that's just a survival instinct? You have to look out for number one first. It isn't a survival instinct for you to feel good at a moment. I mean, it's a survival instinct for you to stay alive, yes. Yeah, but that's a- But isn't a survival instinct for you to- be rude to someone no that's a learned trait that that sometimes yields results to make to put somebody down and see that look on their face gives you a little bit of satisfaction you just said it yeah and that just said it that comes from being from I think years I mean you don't just learn to just insult somebody when you're a year old I mean I'll tell you if you watch little kids interact and if you watch them and I know you have Lauren for Many times I know you do on a daily basis Mike and you do Jay. I mean you'll see some crazy stuff You'll see you'll see and hear some crazy stuff that a little kid will do but they've been influenced by But that means that if they hadn't been that means that they hadn't been if they didn't have aunts and uncles and all they had was you you know Mr. And Mrs. Perfect if they had their parents Mr. And Mrs. Perfect who don't do anything bad Right, you know

1:55:08OK, let's take it even further. Let's say that that kid could somehow sustain life without mom and dad, which they can't. But let's say they could. So now they got no influences. That person will not grow up to not have a bad day. They're going to have a bad day where they do something bad. Well, they may have survival instincts where they will have they'll steal things or they'll like do things like that. But I don't think that they're just. that you've just learned to just be mean to people or be selfish? I don't think that me, well, I'll just take me as an example. I can't blame it on mom and dad. I can't blame everything on mom and dad. Oh, I learned it, or I've learned it from Billy down the street, or I learned it from television, or I learned it from, part of it is me and just the way I was wired. And the other part of it is that I was just born. I was just born. And sometimes our, selfish acts during the day don't have anything to do with me staying alive it's just me and it doesn't have anything to do with oh i saw that on television 15 years ago i'm just a jerk yeah or nwa told me to do it you know what i mean it's like i i really have always i've always felt that man that that we are born we are born bad and we have to fight and struggle to be good i mean and i know as a personal thing it's it's such a you know it's a yin and yang for me man devil on this shoulder angel on this one at all times

1:56:36M1, Chris, you there? How are you guys doing? Good. What do you think, man? Well, I'm thinking we all are inherently bad, even from the get-go. I wouldn't say necessarily bad, but selfish. Babies, they're born with that natural instinct to get what they need. They're going to cry until they get food. But that's survival. Yeah, it's survival, but it's inherent selfishness to survive. I think it's an inherent thing for us to just want to be comfortable. Yeah. Or just live, stay alive. Yeah, but, okay, I agree, but do we also not just want to be comfortable? We've been introduced to comfort, and we realize we have the brain power to go, oh, that feels better than being uncomfortable. Right. Yeah. But that is a learned feature. I mean, that's a learned trait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're telling me, LOB, that when somebody does strokes my skin and that feels nice, somebody had to tell me.

1:57:32No, no, no. Your brain processes it. Sure. Yeah, but this is years and years of learning what feels comfortable versus what doesn't. If a baby cries and we instantly answer them, there's a whole school of thought of letting them cry it out and reacting right away. Ferberizing. Yeah. 5701949, what do you think? M1 Diab, is that how you pronounce it? Diab? Yeah. From downtown. What do you think? I know you're talking. I agree with you that we don't deserve happiness, but I think everybody has the right to pursue it. Oh, yeah. For sure. And I think from that end, I think a lot of people are privileged to it because, you know, they've worked hard. And, you know, I think that people do deserve it in the sense that we can all pursue it. I don't know. That's how I would decipher it.

1:58:36I guess I would give a caveat to what I said, and that is if we deserve happiness, we also deserve unhappiness. Because if we deserve happiness because we've done good, guess what? We deserve unhappiness because we've done bad. If we have to learn how to be bad, if we have to learn how to be bad, then that means that at some point in time, way back, way, way back, depending on who you think or where you think the world is or whatever, somebody had to learn it from somewhere. I mean, somebody or it would have never existed. If you always have to learn bad, then it never would have existed. You always have to learn it.

1:59:34that means that it has to come from somewhere. I think it does. I think it comes from us naturally wanting to be a certain way. And when Jay and when Warren are talking, they're talking about very, like, you know, superfluous things, very outside, like, oh, well, I'm just having a bad day. But that's pretty – I don't know how much weight that holds versus, you know, being selfish, like kind of a core principle or, you know, wanting to – Yeah, I don't think so either. Right. And I think that, you know, Lauren's argument would be, well, it's a survival instinct. She doesn't want to get in trouble. Well, it depends on if they've set the precedent that she will get in trouble for eating the cookie. Yeah. And, you know, that begs the question, is that right or wrong? to get in trouble for eating the hook cookie. Hey, thanks for calling, man. I appreciate the phone call. Rex Ryan is the head coach of the New York Jets and the focus of HBO's reality series Hard Knocks. Can we have fun? You're damn right. I demand that we have fun. Now, there's a difference between having fun and being a jackass. Our defense was a jackass when we went to Hofstra.

2:01:02Eating a bunch of cheeseburgers before we go stretch and all that? That's being a jackass. You can be a world champion, but not like this. We won't win it. We'll sit back and say, why didn't we do it? We didn't do it because where were our priorities? Let's make sure we play like the New York Jets. Now, some people like his style. Some people don't like his style. Tony Dungy doesn't like his style. Nope. Very outspoken about him and the way that he coaches and the way he's being shown on Hard Knocks. What do you think? 5701949? You ever wonder when you see the sign spinners? You ever wonder where you come from? Where'd you get that job? How'd you get that? How'd you do that? Well, Woodsy took a microphone out on the street and found out. I'll show you that for you, too. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, XTC Drums and Wires. Played Woodsy an XTC song and he didn't like it. I did not like it. Peter Pumpkinhead? I think that's why you didn't like it. As soon as you heard the title, you're like, I can't like a song if in the title of the song is something like Peter Pumpkinhead. That's very you. Oh, that's not me. Don't be a clown. Let me play you what it sounds like. It's an old hit. This was a big hit. You said it was in Dumber and Dumber, but I don't remember it. It is. When they go into that. It's a great song. This used to be a big radio hit.

2:03:23Yeah, and if it was just called The Ballad, you wouldn't have a problem with it. No, that's awful. Well, do you not like XTC? You don't know XTC. Not a lot. I took it a couple times in college, but... No, different. XTC was a big player when I was growing up. Really? Yeah. Don't you like Morrissey? I do love Morrissey. You do? It's like a rainbow in my ear. Is it? Sweet like honey. That's really strange. Yeah, dude. That's not terrible. Peter Pumpkinhead. Peter Pumpkinhead. Now do your Morrissey voice. Peter Pumpkinhead. That's good. I would go out tonight. That's so good. Totally your Peter Pumpkinhead voice. So, Woodsy.

2:04:45Went out and talked to the dude on the street corner. Somebody had their computer on. Yeah, I thought we were doing news and sports, but apparently not. Were you going to play some audio off your computer? Maybe. Is that what it was? Oh, boy. No, I'm not ready. I'm not prepared. Okay, I'll give you something quick. That little jerk Yoran Vandersloot. Said that he wanted to get back at Natalie Holloway's family because they were making his life miserable for killing their dog. That kid. Jerk. I'm going to take the belt to that guy real good. Craigslist took off their sex ads. Allegedly. Well, what they did is they put a big censored over it. So the thing is, people are saying, did they take him off because people were getting hurt? Or did they take him off and put censored over it as some First Amendment ploy?

2:05:46You know, saying, yeah, we've been censored. That's why they put censored over it. They probably shouldn't be trying to make any radical points when someone got killed. Yeah, exactly. Maybe they'll make radical points. When there's a guy called the Craigslist killer. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe just take it down. Maybe just take it down. Not fight for freedom of speech. Yeah, not... Maybe they're saying, like... It happens in chat rooms. It happens through other vehicles. Why are they the ones being... There's no chat room killer yet. There's a Craigslist killer. Well, more than that, what if it was the AOL chat room killer? Right. AOL shouldn't be making some big things about, hey, quit giving our chat rooms a hard time. Hey. Just take it down. Yeah, maybe just shh. Well, maybe they're trying to say one bad apple. Let it blow over. Hey, M1Amy, are you there? Yes, I'm here. Amy, what was the word of the day? Well, I've got to tell you, that song is a rainbow in my ears, too. That is correct. I'm glad you like my song. Word of the day was rainbow, and you won yourself a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego Zoo and a pair of tickets to Legoland. Wow, so cool. Yeah, $496 value on that. Nice.

2:07:06Thank you. Good going, Amy. Hang on the line, okay? Okay. Yeah, we do the word of the day every day, and so make sure you're listening to Get It and then be listening between 6 and 10. When you hear us cleverly work it into a sentence, you can call and you can win. Just like Amy did. Somebody texted in and wanted to know, how do I become an M1? I love you guys. The way that you become an M1 is that when you call in like Amy did, you turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss. You know the rules. That's the rules. You are always creating new M1s. M1s are Mikey Show listeners. You belong to the M1 Nation. It's a whole movement of people. It's a whole... Group of people. It's a whole... It's a family is what it is. It's a family, man. And also, to be an M1, you have to bring us donuts. That is... That would be great. It's actually in the... It's unofficial. It's in the rule book. Unofficial, yes. By unofficial, you mean official. Yeah. So, I'm fascinated by signed spinners. I've always thought to myself, what are they listening to? What are they... How did they get that job? What's the average age? All this stuff. What's he went out to...

2:08:10a corner with a microphone and interviewed this guy. All right, so I'm standing here with, what's your name, man? Sean Frawley. Sean Frawley, and so you are, that's a big... Did you do one of those things where you didn't really understand his last name, but you just kind of... Sean Frawley? Yeah, yeah. And I go, oh, Sean Frawley. Oh, Sean Frawley. This is one of the large ones. Is this something that you have to graduate to? It's one of those gigantic... It was giant. It was four and a half, five feet tall. Candles on the back of it? Yeah, right. Don't they? No handles on this one. He just had cardboard. Wow. Like this. Gangster. Gangster. Not really? Who's your mentor? No? Not for sign spinning? How'd you get into this gig? He's like, I don't take it seriously, okay? This isn't my life. Craigslist. Beats flipping burgers. It's a Craigslist thing. You go on Craigslist to find this job. How long did you have to train? Not at all. The first day they put a sign. I could not do that without somebody teaching me. Could you, Woodsy? It's like someone teaching you how to dance at a wedding. It is? Yeah, just do it. Just do it. It's funny. It's a skill, though. Some of those guys got skills. Some of them do. Mad skills. Woodsy's mic technique still. He's so loud. The guy's like, he's giving the mic back to the guy. He's like, hey, are you there? Are you there? Maybe you go do the audio. I will.

2:09:46Sign in your hand and say go spin away. Have you ever been injured? Paper cuts. Oh, my gosh. He did. He was beat up, dude. Really? His arms. I was going to say, he needs handles. As soon as I got one paper cut from a sign, I'd retire. Dude, and those are thick signs. You know what I mean? And his arms were slashed up, dude. He had blisters and stuff. As soon as you said he didn't have handles, that was my first thought. I bet his arms have cuts on them. Yeah, these cuts. Yeah, the guy's pretty beat up. Wow. How do the ladies respond to the sign spinners? They love them. They'll probably love them. Yeah, maybe your arms are all beat up. You look like you're working for a living. Instead of my hands, it looks like I pet sheep for a living. Palmolive hands over there. Yeah. Anybody ever flash you driving by? No, not yet. I'm sure it's going to happen. What are you listening to? An audio book. Get out of here. Audio book, really? That dude jams the way that he jams with that sign, and he's listening to an audio. Chapter four. Yeah.

2:11:12The revenge that I found. I know. When I first walked into the house, the first thing that I noticed was... And he's just flipping his side. And he's spinning. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the book and then do my moves. Well... Pardon me, Sally said. I saw one of these guys the other day. It's my imitation of an audiobook, by the way. It's fantastic. I saw one of these guys the other day. A motorcycle was coming to take the right turn, right? This guy throws his sign 15 feet in the air, spins it, catches it. lands on it and sits on it like a motorcycle and does this with the fake throttle. I was like, I love you guys. Oh, dude, they're incredible. Was this guy a spinner or a stander? He was a stander that day, but he's a spinner. He's one of these guys. He has the big one, and you can't spin the big one, so he does like this bit. He shakes it, and then he leans, and then he, you know. What's up with that bit? Then the other guys with the arrows, like they have the arrows and they're the... That's a spinner. There's the spinner, yeah. But this guy is a spinner. He was just doing a stand-up that day. They put him on stand duty. He was on stand duty that day. I would be a signed spinner if I could sit down in a chair. Put my feet up. Yeah, with a long, you know, razor-proof shark mesh on my arms and thick, heavy welding gloves.

2:12:30I know, I think about that. Sometimes I'll drive by them in the morning, and then I go back past them hours later. Poor guy. I think, didn't one call here and say that Heath was flipping a sign and it hit a Porsche? Or did somebody else tell me that? You dreamt it. No, I didn't dream it, but he was spinning it, and a Porsche was at the thing. He was about to go right on red, and this kid's spinning his sign, and it just goes clunk and hits the hood of this guy's Porsche. I wonder if you could then... Beat the crap out of the guy? No. I wonder if you could sue Shea Holmes. Yeah. You have to. He's pointing towards Shea Holmes. You can't sue the kid that makes minimum wage. Once he lost it, he's got water dripping out of his mouth. You know what I mean, though, right? Yeah, I know. What if you could? You'd have to be. Or Liberty Tax Services. Or a Tommy Bahama sale. Yeah. It's like the little torch from the Statue of Liberty. Those guys' faces out there, they're always like...

2:13:33Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me. Now here's the deal. We finance anyone. I would do the sidespitter before I would do the dress up as the Statue of Liberty bit. How about this, LLB? Can I wear a mask? What if you're hanging out with your girlfriends and they're like, what does your new boyfriend do? He's the Statue of Liberty down on 5th. How's that? What do you mean? For Liberty Tax Services. He works at Liberty Tax Services? I didn't work there. He doesn't work there? He's kind of an actor. He does taxes? No, no, no. He's an actor? Yeah, he's like the mascot for Liberty Tax Service. Mascot. Yeah, he's in the foam hat with the points sticking out. Wearing a dress. Holy cow. M1G, are you there? Yeah. What's up? Okay, my sister's boyfriend works for a company called Arrow Advertising. And they actually, like, send out... Sign spinners to different companies. You can hire them. And they have patented moves. Like, no other sign spinner can do those moves. Incredible. So if another sign spinner did it, they could sue them. Yeah, pretty much. Be like, that's my move. Yeah. I wonder how you do that. You patented. But I wonder how a kid would know. Yeah, I know. You're going to be like, hey, that's my move. Quit ripping me off. That's my move. I did that first. Don't rip me off.

2:15:00You're ripping me off. You're a rip-off artist. Yeah, that's right. Been in the business a long time. Been in the business a long time. You're ripping me off. There's other sign spinners in town that are okay. Not that one. I like all the other sign spinners, but I watch this guy. He's ripping me off. You thief. You thief. You dang thief. Do you have any scruples? Sign stealer. Sign stealer. Artisan. Idiot artisan. Sheep petter. ESPN tonight, 5 o'clock. 30 for 30. This is so cool, man. If you've never seen the show 30 for 30, it's like a documentary. They got one tonight called One Night in Vegas. It's all about the night Tupac got shot, Tyson fight, and the whole thing is like, you know, who would have thought that the most dangerous place to be in Vegas that night was not in the ring. Did you ever see the... film of the fight in the casino after the Tyson fight and all the people are walking through the casino and it's just this brawl. Oh, yeah. Dude, it makes your heart race to see it. Oh, man. That's tonight. I want to watch it. They're going to have that tonight. Is it past my bedtime? No, it's five. Five, okay. So it's a little bit before yours. I'm going to tape it. It's time you go to bed now. Me? Yeah. I went to bed seven last night. It's time you go to bed normally.

2:16:318, 8.30. What about you, LLB? Somewhere between 8 and 9, usually. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What do you think of this? Got an email for you. Mikey Show. Consider myself to be a good husband and father, but right now I feel like I'm stepping outside my marriage. I've been married 12 years and love my wife very much. In the last year... In the last few years, my wife seems to have taken more interest in the kids and less in me, and I just got bored in our marriage. So recently, I've taken an interest in a female co-worker. We haven't done anything physical, but we go to lunch almost every day, constantly email each other, and I find that I can't wait to see her every day. I know it's wrong, but it gets me through the day and gives me something to look forward to. So, is this cheating? M1 Boontz. Well, is it cheating? Anything that you're going to do that you don't want your wife, if your wife knew about it, she wouldn't approve of it. You're cheating. That's cheating. Yeah, I mean, it's certainly an emotional affair. You know, it's certainly an emotional affair. You know, yeah, it's cheating. Yeah, it's cheating. You know, it's the gateway to what's going to happen, period. I mean, there will be a time.

2:18:05You know what? My dad tried to tell me when I was a kid, don't smoke cigarettes. It leads to booze. Don't do booze. It leads to pot. Don't do pot. It leads to this. I was like, yeah, you're out of your mind. Dude, 100%. 100%. And that is the gateway to doing something. It's not adultery per se, but it is cheating on some level. Now, this is a classic move. This is the classic cheater move. The classic cheater move is to make you feel like you are at fault for their cheating. In this case, to make his wife. Yeah, she doesn't pay attention to him anymore. She's always with the kids. It's her fault. It's not her fault. You hear that all the time. He works too much, and that's why. You hear it all the time. I very sadly know a couple of people who have been cheated on. In the last two years. And in each of those cases. The other person made them. At one point or other. They questioned themselves. He or she has said to me. That I did blah blah blah. And he's like man. And I'm like dude. Do you hear yourself? It's not your fault she did that. She's a creep. It's not. Hey dude. It's not your fault. Or hey.

2:19:34In the case of this woman that I knew, it's not your fault he cheated. He's a creep. You didn't do anything. And if he was thinking that you were paying too much attention or whatever, that's a conversation he should have. Sure. Let's even take it a step further than that. Let's say that he has a conversation. She still pays too much attention to the kids. Does that mean it's okay to go cheat? No. Not okay to go cheat. 5701949. But this guy wants to know, this is the relationship I'm having with this girl, female co-worker. Is that cheating? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, it is. I would say, for a rule of thumb, anything that if your wife were there to see it go on, if she wouldn't approve of it and she would think it was deceitful, then it's cheating. Yeah. I'd go along with that. With a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. Yeah, for sure. Now, you're going to get some guys to that that would go, well, my wife is just way too sensitive. She gets mad at everything. Well. Don't marry her. Yeah.

2:20:34You know who you're marrying. Signed up for it. Yeah, my wife has a... Dude, my wife can't make one right decision. She married you, pal. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, while you're complaining about your wife's judgment, consider, she married you. Right. What does that say about her judgment? M1 Curly, you there? Go ahead. Parents went through this, wrecked everything. My mother travels a great deal for his... 10 days away, 10 days away, 7 days back. Nothing happened, you know. My mother just began speaking to this man she had known from a while ago, and they would email and talk on the phone. They got to the phone where they were talking so much, and she never told my father. And one day, just all, like, just found out about the emailing and the texting and the everything. And it almost, it just got in their marriage that was just going to tear them apart. And whoever this guy is that thinks it's just, like, cool to be talking to some other lady just because it's platonic.

2:21:48platonic in quotations, because I'm sure that's what he's trying to tell himself it is, he's an idiot. Because it's going to wreck his marriage. If his wife found out about it, and if you're outside your marriage that you're looking for spending time with someone, I think you need to focus more time on not spending more time on not being with your secretary and more time with your wife. Because if she's slipping away from you and spending more time with the kids, maybe it's because you're slipping away. We're taking more time away from her. Yeah, that's true. Great point, man. Hey, thanks for the call, man. We appreciate it. Call more. Call more. M1xray from El Cajon. Hey, what's up, guys? Not too much. Good, man. Hey, man. While I agree with you 100% that cheating is awful and bad, I don't think that all the blame goes on one party because you and I both know, man, it takes two people to make a relationship work. And if his wife, dude, if she's paying too much attention to the kids and everything, you know, we don't know the whole story here.

2:22:51But if he said, hey, you know, why don't we go out, you know, and have some fun, have a good time, try to spark it up a little bit. And then she's like, no, no. Then, you know, there's some blame to be had there, man. Well, wait. I mean, dude, you don't have a disagreement with me in this. In that if she's spending too much time with the kids, what he's proven by telling me that is that two people are doing something wrong. But the fact that she's spending too much time with those kids, it doesn't give them the right to cheat. Yeah. And so when you say, well, it takes two. Are you saying that it takes two people for a for cheating to occur? No, no. But what I'm saying is that you were talking earlier about how how it's not. All the blame is on one party. But that's not true, man, because obviously if a woman's not giving a man what he needs or vice versa, if a man is not giving a woman what she needs, then how can there be happiness and contentment in that relationship? Bro, let me tell you something. I don't give my wife everything she needs. My wife does not give me everything I need. I don't know that there's anybody listening right now that's in a marriage.

2:24:11Where they can say, my wife, absolutely in every way, I have no complaints. And that a wife can say, my husband, I have no complaints. The bottom line is, is that yes, it takes one person to cheat. And the cheating, she doesn't have ownership of that cheating. That's a decision that he made. Maybe she's wrong in what she does. If we follow the logic, it's like saying, hey. If a girl is dating a guy and she beats him up, it's okay for her to cheat. No, all we've proven is that he's a dirtbag for beating her up. He beats her up and that's wrong. But it doesn't mean that you go, okay, well, he wasn't fulfilling me. In fact, he was abusing me and so I cheated. No, that by definition is two wrongs make a right. By definition, it's two wrongs make a right, which we know from being little kids, that ain't true.

2:25:17Now, I think Woodsy and I may have a spirited debate over this one. NFL Hall of Famer Dan Hampton getting criticized for some comments he made. Had to do with Hurricane Katrina. Talk about it next. Mikey Show is me. I'm the host, Mikey. Woodsy is our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. Sienna's our news girl, but she's out on maternity leave. Just had her baby, Sienna. Sage is the baby's name. And then Jay's our producer. I have twin boys. They're a year old. Luke and Ryan just turned one year old. My son Luke is on the phone. Hi, Luke. Yeah. What's going on? That's your new nanny. That's Nita. No, she's not an exchange student, Luke. She's from Budapest, Hungary. Where the hell is that? It's in Hungary. You're hungry? No, no, no, no.

2:26:52It's country. Weird. It's country. You'll learn that in school when you get to school. Yeah, I'm not going to school. Yes, you are. Who, uh, eat breakfast? No, we're not. No. Why don't you get me and Ryan and Jake know when you're going to have people spend the night? Because that's not cool. Well, I'll tell you why. Because we don't need to. We're the grown-ups. You're the baby. You're a baby. Am I? Yes, you are. She's there for you. Is she? She's there for you. She's going to take care of you. She's single? What do you mean is she single? You're a year old. Listen. single. That means, does she have a boyfriend? No, she doesn't, but it doesn't matter. I know you never had, you know, girlfriends growing up chief, but I'm planning on... It's not chief, it's dad. Not chief, it's daddy, really. It should be daddy. Or dada. Dada would be good. What do we live and do? Really? Listen, Luke. Is she single? She's too old for you. Do you have a little sister? Oh, wow. Is she going to have her baby? She did, yeah. She did. What's her name?

2:27:55Sage is her name. That's more your speed there. You don't worry about my speed. Yeah, he doesn't need to have his speed. He's only a year old. He doesn't need to be dating for another 14 years. Hey, Captain. Yes, it's Daddy. What time do you get off work? I get off work at the same time every day. I get off at 10. Yes. I'm home at different times. I know. Okay. The show's over at 10, and I'll be home sometime after 10. Great. Well, keep up the good work. Thank you. A little sarcastic guy. Yeah, it sounded like a dig. Very sarcastic. He's digging. Unbelievable, that guy. He's your son. He really has an attitude sometimes. About an hour from now, we're going to be announcing with Hillary the FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Bash lineup. Nice. I came across a video, and I thought, oh my goodness. People may find this video racist. Or will they? Here's a black guy doing a video, okay? Now, if I do a video, I'm a Mexican. If I do a video where I talk about how much I love burritos, isn't nobody going to, you know, well, maybe they would. I don't know. Maybe people would really say that's, you're playing into a stereotype that you're, because you're Mexican, you like burritos. Would it make me, here's the way I look at it. Would you doing a video about burritos?

2:29:31make me as uncomfortable as I was watching this. But it's funny. I know it's funny, but I still was like, should I be laughing at this? This guy is doing it to be funny. The whole thing, the context of it is humor. And I don't even know. I mean, boy, you've got to take guesses as to what his motivation is or whatever. It is funny. I love me some chicken so much, I decided to write a song about it, so listen. Guy's writing a song about chicken. I'm already laughing. I don't care who you are. That's funny. Makes me want some. Chicken. I bust the windows at you, girl. Wow. I thought I saw myself at church's bar. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Smelt that chicken from afar. I trace that smell right back to your car. Not bad. Yeah, and he's really... I'm taking the chicken out your car. Hey, not bad at all. Don't really care how hungry you are. I'm addicted to chicken, it is not my bar. I guess it's the sweet aroma.

2:30:52You've got to see this guy. He's hilarious. Nice 80s style rap. Brilliant. Yes. What I'm thinking? I want to get a minute there with a real producer

2:32:07Wow. Wow. Wow. We live in such a politically correct world. I know. We live in such a politically correct world that I was almost afraid to find it funny. I know. That's how I felt. I was like, I was looking over my shoulder. I know. We're so politically correct. It's a black guy singing it. Yeah. That makes my mouth water. If anyone sang about a song, an entire song about chicken. It's funny. It'd be hilarious. If I sing a song about burritos, is that bad? No. It's not.

2:33:09It's like reality. That's the thing. It's reality. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? Lighten up already. It's too serious. 570-1949. If you want to weigh in on it. M1 Micah is on the line. Are you there, Micah? What do you think? I'm black. Thank you. That was really funny. Thank you. It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. Okay, cool. It's on YouTube. So you can find it if you go there. What do you search for? Fried Chicken Song. Fried Chicken Song. I guarantee you it'll come up. Of course. I put my chicken in Church's bar. I think I found myself a Church's bar. Yeah. It's so great. Because Church's Chicken is good. Oh, it's good.

2:34:12Are you guys there? Oh, no. It's Captain Buzzkill. Captain Buzzkill, what? I knew he was going to call. That's why I didn't want to play it. I think that really, if you play that on the radio, then I think that you're really going to really play up the stereotype. Oh, God. You're playing up the stereotype that people just, because of their nationality, like a certain food. Maybe you're the one playing at the stereotype if you see it that way. Yeah, maybe we're just laughing. I didn't play it. Mikey did. I'm not racist, though. I didn't play it. Just because I played it doesn't make me racist. And Captain Buzzkill, even you have to admit, it's funny. If something's funny. I didn't find it funny at all. Not at all. You didn't even smile. I didn't find it funny, in fact.

2:35:11As I listened to it, I closed my eyes and shook my head. You did the whole time? Slowly. Did you cross your arms over your chest? I closed my eyes, I put my head down, and I shook my head, and I thought, what would the great Martin Luther King think about you playing that song? I bet he would have laughed. I bet Martin Luther King would have laughed if he saw that video. I think so. I think that you guys really need to take time to reflect on the struggles of some other American in this country. I had a Malcolm X hat. I'm all about it. Doesn't make you African-American. And by the way, say African-American. Don't say black. Oh, man. So insensitive. Dude kills me. We're not allowed to have any fun. We'll try. Let's just call this the CNN. I know it, right? We can't be PC all the time. God forbid we try to have some fun in here. He is such a buzzkill.

2:36:13I'm trying to record this video like 200 times. But this is for all my people that love me some chicken. I love me some chicken so much, I decided to write a song about it, so listen. Ah, I love it. I want it as my ringtone. 570-1949. Let's see. M1 Chris, are you there? Hey, guys. What's up? You know, the only part of that song that sucks is I'm going to wake up with it in my head. Yeah. A hundred percent. You're going to be walking out of your car going, I bust the windows out your car. Dude, I'm already totally like visualizing the choreography. Oh, yeah. So good. I mean, I like that little like kind of Prince of Persia. So true. I defy you to not later today be going, I bust the windows out my car. There's no way. I'm going to be bugging people with it. They're like, what are you nuts? How many of our M1s are going to have fried chicken for lunch is what I would know. Because I'm fiending for it right now. I need my chicken. I love my chicken. Thank you very much. He was going to say, it's good to have you back. I was already hanging up. Thank you, Chris. We love you. That's great. Put nothing above my chicken. That's right. Preaching the word, man. It's good. I love fried chicken. I really do. It's delicious. It's not PC, Mike. Hey, Dave. Look at Dave Matthews this year.

2:37:38Oh, holy crap. Careful, Dave. Good morning. How are you? I'm all right, man. You wash your robe? No. I didn't think so. I bust the windows out your car. Oh, that's beautiful. Dave, I heard you walked out on stage in your robe. I did, man. Out in Chula Vista a couple weeks ago. The opener, I don't remember his name. You don't remember the opener of your concert? Nah, but it was... Yeah, you were at Cricket Wireless. Yeah, Chula Vista was high, and he was great. And I just felt the need to come out and say, welcome him, or whatever the hell his name was. And you came out in your row. Yeah, I was in my row. True story. Wow. True story. Yeah. Where have you guys been? We were on a break because I had surgery on my gut. Great. You know you missed the Emmys, right? The Emmys? Yeah, we did. The Emmy Awards. Two weeks ago. I was nominated. You were nominated? You've never been on TV. I was supposed to be nominated. You were? Yeah, I had a part in CSI Sheboygan. CSI Sheboygan. Yeah, and I missed my flight. I haven't heard of CSI Sheboygan. It never went to air. Well, it's coming, but I was supposed to be on there. I was playing the love interest of a Black Panther lady. She's accused of murder. You mean Black Widow. Black Widow. Black Widow.

2:39:00Yeah, not a Black Panther. No, I'm pretty sure she was a Black Panther. Maybe the deal was she was a Black Panther in the 70s. Yeah. Maybe it's just a new name for a hot old lady. Yeah, maybe it is. It was definitely Black Panther. Yeah, definitely not. It was, but I missed my flight, man, because you're not allowed to bring your bong, your pipes, your bud, your spliffs. No. Any of that stuff, you're not allowed to bring it on the plane, so news to me. Maybe don't. Smoke all that stuff. I'm Dave Matthews. I know you are. That's part of the bit. That's part of how I made my living. But, you know, I'm glad to report that once again at the Emmy, Sandra Bullock was the belle of the ball. She won damn near everything. Yeah, she did. She did really good. No, she's in the Oscars. She's not on the Emmy. Oh, yeah, that's right. She was at the Oscars. Mikey must have been watching the same Emmy as that I was. I don't know. Maybe I thought. Maybe I thought it was Oscars. You're right. She's not in the Emmys. No, you guys were having a hashish party together. You guys don't know because you weren't there. Were you there? I wasn't there, but I saw it. You saw it. Garrett told me about it. Yeah, our program director? Yeah. I wrote a little ditty about it. I was going to fill you guys in on some of the winners. Go ahead. If you miss the Emmys, just like old Dave, well, I'm here.

2:40:26To fill you in That gay guy From Modern Family Who's not really gay He won an Emmy And that brother Who played Carmella From The Sopranos She's got a new show It's called Nurse Jackie Nobody's ever Seen it She'll always be Carmela to me. That's really beautiful, Dave. Made me cry a little. That was kind of sad, yeah. I cried a little bit in my eyes. I cried in my head. But, yeah, it was a good show, man. I hope to be, you know, get my career underway and get off the road and, you know, do a little stuff in front of the camera. Yeah. That's your new thing. I'm going to go back to bed. Thank you. Good night, Dave. Good night. We missed you. We missed you, buddy.

2:41:26Smells like beer in here. Dale beer. Oh, wow. Uh-oh. Don't do that in here, Dave. Found it. So let's see if Woodsy and I disagree or agree on this. This is a comment that was made by a Hall of Famer, NFL Hall of Famer, Dan Hampton. People are upset about this comment that he made where he used Hurricane Katrina in what he was saying. Take a listen. Tommy, who's going to win this Open? I like the Saints. Again, the Vikings, I think, are going to get off to a bit of a rocky start with no Sidney Rice. Percy Harvin will play, but you just don't know what's happening with him. And Brett Favre has not looked overly sharp in the preseason. I like the New Orleans Saints at home. If you watched that playoff game last year, the Vikings need to go down there and hit that town like Katrina. I think the Vikings go down there and get it done. Okay, so what's your take, Woodsy? What do you think my take is? You're a clown, Dan Hampton. He's a clown. Yeah. Yeah, because people are really coming down on him for that comment. Because they should. That's a stupid comment. See, here's my deal. I used to say stuff on the radio to be shocking. Right. You know? And I would say things that were meant to inflame people because that's who I was. I was a shocking guy. Right? I don't feel, and it's all opinion. You know, you got to ask yourself, what do I think of what he said?

2:42:56I don't think that he was going for the shock value. I just think he said something stupid. Well, right. And I don't think that he meant it. People are getting after him. And I'm like, oh, poor guy. He's going to take some heat for that, man. I mean, okay, what if I said? Depends on what's in your heart. Yeah, I know. And I don't think dude was trying to be malicious. I don't either, man. I think he was trying to make a really vivid, vibrant point. And they're going to roll into town like a hurricane. You know what I mean? And it's insensitive, for sure. It's insensitive. And you watch the footage. I watch the footage. Heartbreaking. You were calling me about some Katrina documentary that you watched. So I can see the people of New Orleans being like, dude, what are you talking about? Here's the thing, though. They're saying something insensitive because you want to be shocking. And they're saying something insensitive. And you let microphones go off. And they go, hey, Dan, hey, Dan, you be careful, man. You just said hit him like Katrina, you know, and you got to think about all the people that really his reaction was probably like, oh, my gosh, come on, man. I didn't mean it. Right. No, I'm sure. And I'm sure. I mean, it's, you know, but you one of those things, man, me doing this job now have learned a lot about things I should and shouldn't say. And believe me, people call me to the carpet all the time for things that I say every day, every single day. There's something. And I me.

2:44:23I go, oh boy, with calling him to the carpet. I do too. With you. I do too. Calling you to the carpet. Calling any of us to the carpet. It's like, listen, unless we're saying something and we really have maliciousness in it. If I, you know what I mean? And if you repeatedly say it. Yeah. Even like the whole thing with Dr. Laura, the caller was offended and she still kept, you know, N-word, N-word, whatever. It's like if someone had said, whoa, whoa, whoa, too soon, and he backed off or apologized. Yeah, yeah. Kind of said it and moved on. Something else happened. It was Dwayne Wade. Dwayne Wade, this was a couple weeks ago. We talked about it. And I think you agreed, Mike, that it was a dumb, and we all agree, Dan Hampton, what he said was dumb. Yeah. But, I mean, it's like, yeah, the Yanks are going to take down the Red Sox like the Twin Towers. I mean, you would never want to say that because it hits home for a lot of people. Yeah, I think you'd go, oh, man, oops. Yeah. And believe me, dude, I say oops every I'm always apologizing to somebody for something I said to offend them. Here's the reason that you say oops, because I don't think that it's a character issue. If somebody uses the N word accidentally, that's a character thing. It reveals something about you. I don't think that that reveals something. I don't think that what it reveals is, oh, wow. I guess what we're really finding out is that Dan Hampton.

2:45:43is pro-Hurricane. Yeah, exactly. He's glad Katrina happened. He's really stoked that Katrina happened. Yeah, he's really against those people of New Orleans. It's just too soon to... Too soon and not sensitive. Slip of the lip. It's a slip of the lip for sure, and, you know, it is what it is. You know, all he needs to do, Mikey, is come on and say, hey, I made a really insensitive, stupid comment. I apologize. I didn't mean any harm by it. I wasn't thinking. Who's going to fillet him for that, you know? Bristol Palin went on Jay Leno, was talking about everything from pregnancy during her prom, and giving advice to Levi Johnson, her baby's daddy, if he's running for mayor of Wasilla. We got audio. Hear about the woman that was attacked with acid? Hear about that one? Got that coming up, too. Don't go away. Yeah, welcome back. Mikey's show is live in the studio. Took a couple of weeks off. I had surgery. Doesn't even feel like a couple of weeks to me. Felt like years. Yeah. I was like Jack Nicholson. You were? In The Shining. Yeah. Yeah. When he's throwing the racquetball? Yeah, just throwing the racquetball against my wall. Jamie, if you come in here, that means I'm working. Okay? Don't ever come in here. Yeah, that's great. Losing my mind. She goes, man, maybe go back to work soon. Hey, man, I get it. My wife was probably real done seeing me just sitting there.

2:47:52Sitting on the bed watching TV. Babe. Babe. Did you have a bell? Ding, ding, ding, ding. No, I did not. Thank God. She took good care of you? She took great care of me. Of course she did. She's probably like, another episode of How It's Made, huh? I can see her carrying Mikey around. She's got him up on her hip, you know, carrying him into the kitchen to get him water and stuff. Can I pull the curtain back a little? Oh, great. Can I? Can I pull the curtain back a little bit? What? We were at dinner. We were all at dinner the other night after the fantasy football draft. And Rebecca goes, oh, Woods, let me tell you about this. You know the DVR. You can DVR and record different programs. Well, she has the DVR set for these different programs. She works a lot during the day with the kids. Once the night time arrives, she wants to watch her shows. Well, guess what little Cubby did? He wasn't in that room. And he says he didn't. I didn't. But he went in. and he set all his shows, which knocked all of her shows out. So all of, she went to her DVR. She went to her DVR. Her. What she recorded. Her DVR. And it had been knocked out the bottom. And so all of his little man versus wild, man versus food, how it's made, we're on there. And she's like, oh, really? I would have lost it. Listen. I would have lost it if I were her. It was the funniest thing I've ever heard. I know. I didn't listen.

2:49:16I didn't redo the priority and blah, blah, blah. Here's what happens though. It asks you, oh, there is a conflict. It's already recording something. I'll admit this right now to you. I'll admit this. I would be watching how it's made. No way. Okay? And it would come up on the screen and go, it's set to record, you know, the real housewives of who knows where. Yeah, the real housewives of freaking. Modesto. And it's also set to record Dancing with the Clowns. And so if you continue to watch How It's Made, and I'd be like, no. Interrupt it. I'm going to keep watching this. And I'm like, you know, I get to watch TV too. I get to watch TV too. And she was irritated. Oh, yeah, she was irritated. She was really irritated. Real Housewives of New Jersey didn't tape. Because a little sick boy is going to sit here. Well, I know how it is. It's like when you're expecting it. It's like when you know that you've got a fresh pack of cookies at home or something. You come home, you curl up on the couch, you go to the cabinet to open them up. Yeah. Somebody's eating those. Sorry, I'm not going to sit here and watch Dancing with the Clowns. You should have yelled out to her. Babe! I can't recall. I can't!

2:50:38Watching how it's made! The more I think about it, the more I'm like, are you kidding me right now? She was mad, dude. Oh, she was so irritated. She was? That she went and like five minutes into The Real Housewives of El Paso, it stops taping. And I'm like, yeah. They need to make it where you can watch more than two shows. I know, it's stupid. Gosh, it killed me. It was, I was... I was dying laughing. It was so funny. Oh, my gosh. Rebecca, yeah, because we're just eating. We ordered and, you know, having a glass of wine. And she looks at me. She goes, so let me tell you what Mike did. And I'm like, oh, boy. Yeah, I'm like, I want to hear what Mike did. Of course you can't tell a better person than was. Oh, yeah. It's gold. I was like, thank you for the gold. Thank you for the gold. I know it. Rebecca is a good little source of gold for me. Yeah, she is. She sure is, isn't she? I want to know what a gold is. I think it's Rebecca's purse. She's got it. It's in her purse. It's at the bottom of that wine glass, pal. It's in the vault. She has a glass of wine. She'll be like, and you know what else she did? It's like the Seinfeld where Elaine says, it's in the vault. Too many people know the combination. She goes, what's the combination? He makes the drink. It was awesome. It was a great dinner.

2:51:58Bristol Palin on how come she didn't go to the prom? You were an athlete in school, right? Yeah. Now, were you a cheerleader or a dancer? No, like the complete opposite. I was a professional player, soccer player, and never danced at dances or anything, so I'm nervous about that. Did you go to your prom? No, I was pregnant. Oh. That can make it a bit awkward. Yeah. I told her to leave room for the Holy Spirit when she was dancing. Holy cow. I didn't know that she'd have to leave room for her belly. That Bristol. Holy cow. Sarah. Oh, shucks. The old Catholic school bit right there. She sure did it this time. Oh, my goodness. Hey, Bristol, tell us about. Tell us about any advice you have for your baby's daddy if he is going to run for mayor of Wasilla. Is he a different guy than the guy he knew in high school? Or was he always this guy and now it's coming out? Or has it changed? It's changed night and day, definitely. The guy I fell in love with was a hard-working Alaskan man that didn't... Man, they sound similar, don't they? Oh my gosh, they do Alaskan. He's Alaskan. I want to wear straight-legged jeans and boots.

2:53:19Be chased by radar and those kind of people and so it's a night and day difference and it's sad to watch but Totally, oh I totally totally Jay don't you get that feeling? Let me ask you something. Would you take him back in a heartbeat? Oh, totally. Yeah, let me ask you something. He was stranded on the side of the road. Well, he needs to move to Wasilla, to the city limits. It's close to my house. Passive-aggressive laugh, minus the passive part. It's a very aggressive laugh. He needs to get his GED. We gotta go back and hear that again. Well, he needs to move to Wasilla, to the city limits. He needs to get his GED. You know what else he needs to do? Maybe slit his own throat.

2:54:39Wow. Wow. That's pretty hardcore. Maybe he needs to stop being such an a-hole, too. Yeah. He apparently needs some Viagra, too. Yeah. Maybe a penis enlargement, as well. Maybe. Maybe he needs to stand in front of a truck. Let's see. I got it. Oh, man. This is such a crazy story. Woman in Vancouver, 28 years old. Was attacked by a woman with acid. That's crazy. Really a crazy story. Stranger? Yeah. Stranger. Complete stranger. The woman walks up to her and says, quote, hey, pretty little girl, want to take a drink of this? Oh, my gosh. Right in her face, man. What I think is remarkable about this woman is how her attitude with it all. Yeah. Laughing, joking. Incredible attitude about it.

2:55:40What saved her eyesight is the fact that she was wearing sunglasses. This is huge. She normally doesn't do it. She bought these sunglasses an hour before the attack. And she said, quote, I had this feeling that I needed to go buy sunglasses. She says, it's hard to find sunglasses that are cute. I finally found a pair that I liked, so I went and bought them. That was 20 minutes, she says, before the acid was thrown in her face. Wow. Insane. Apparently, this girl had a couple of bouts with spinal meningitis when she was a kid, and so she's hard of hearing. And it was really, really cool that she had worn these sunglasses because it could have taken away her sight, too. And listen to what she says. She says, oh, my gosh. To be hard of hearing and blind, that would drive my parents nuts. Just so sweet. Good attitude. Good attitude. 20 years old. 20 years old. Oh, my God. And she has said she is. Oh, no, sorry. 28. Sorry about that.

2:56:43She is going to forgive the woman. Did she look scarring? Yeah, yeah. Second degree. Second degree burns all over her face. Was the woman just, was she nuts? Well, she says that she described her as a black woman in her late 20s, early 30s, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, and she said she could feel the woman's rage. She said she'd never seen the girl before in her life, but she could see that she had this weirdness about her like jealousy or rage. Gosh. Gosh. They were speculating that it was a gang initiation. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. But they do say that they think that she's going to make a full recovery. Good. They did operation on her, and the doctors say that they think that it was successful and that she's going to be okay. A lot of nut jobs out there, man. There is. How do you even just get your hands on some acid? Yeah, just some acid. I'm going to throw it in some stranger's face. Battery acid, I'm sure. Terrible. Gosh, dude. but she is going to make a full recovery. Sad story, but she's got the right attitude about it, right? Definitely got the right attitude about it. Yeah, I'd be on a manhunt if I were her. Oh, man. That was her dad? Yeah. Yeah, her dad was upset, man. He didn't have as good an attitude about it as she did. Ten Ways to Catch a Liar. Got that coming up. Rebecca Northern, I believe, is from Wales. I'm not sure, but she jumped into the swimming pool and hit a slouch.

2:58:45broken something. Her Jack Russell Terrier jumped in there, grabbed her, pulled her out, saved her life. Selena. Little Selena. Anything for Selena. Isn't that sweet? Yet another reason to love dogs. Jack Russells are smart. They are, man. Must be pretty strong as well. Yeah. Yeah, they must be strong. This dog came up and nuzzled up under her arm and pulled her to safety. That is so sweet. Pulled her from the deep end of the shallow end. Gosh. That's amazing. Nobody was home either, so if she hadn't done that, she'd have died. Oh, my gosh. She'd be dead. Little angel. Little angel. Aw. I wonder if the dog just instinctually knew to save her that she would be. You know what's funny? You know Shooter at my house? He's got a little thing in his ear. It's kind of getting infected. Black lab. Black lab. Well, when Jamie cleans it with peroxide, he whines. You know bad man the other dogs Like Penny Bell rushes over and gets right in his face to he thinks he's hurting Jamie Penny things shooters hurting Jamie so gets in his face starts growling at him They're so instinctual and protective of their owners man. It's it's such a wild thing to see are you sure because if he's whimpering Why would that make Penny Bell think because he's because she's in front of him, and it's loud

3:00:10And he whimpers loud. And she's like, what are you doing? She's not used to it. And she gets right in his face and growls. It's the craziest thing. I don't know. I used to have a dog when I cried. It would bite me. Yeah, they'd get scared. Like, lay into me. Wow. See, I think that they're seeing that you're in a compromise. They think that you're weak. Well, and also, like if Jamie and I, we do, like if we wrestle, like if we're like, you know, if we're playing around, they always jump on me. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. They try to get me. I used to do that with, like, get them fired up and pretend to fight. Yep. They're so protective. There was fewer DUIs in the county this holiday weekend, which is good news. Yeah. Very good news. It's always good to see that the stats are going down instead of up. A lot of clouds, though. Over at the beach on Labor Day weekend. Yesterday, I thought it was kind of chilly. It was cold. Yesterday, I woke up. I opened the windows every day to my apartment, and I was like, it's fall. Yeah, great. It smelled like fall. Football weather. Yeah. Just like that. Hope you guys enjoyed your three days of summer. Yeah. It was great. It was. Welcome to San Diego. I was like, yeah, I have my family in town, and we were trying to explain to them. They're like, oh, this is nice. It's a nice, like, welcome from the heat. And I'm like, well, we didn't get a summer. Yeah.

3:01:32We had three days of summer. Kanye West, was he losing it this weekend? Was it this weekend that he was doing all the trippy... He was just tweet, tweet, tweeting. He had like a hundred tweets. And they were all about Taylor Swift. They were all about Taylor Swift. They were all about Taylor Swift and him. Here's some of them. I'm sorry, Taylor. Wait, didn't he do that like two years ago? Two years ago. Yeah, that was a year ago. I think it was exactly a year ago because didn't he do it? Where did he do it? The VMAs. The VMAs? It wasn't a year ago, bro. It was more than that. It had to be. It usually happens right around now. I remember when I would go back to school. High school would be on like the very first week, a year back. Strange things he was writing. Humanity and Empathy are two. 09, pal. September 14th. Yeah, it's probably coming up on a year. My goodness. Humanity and empathy are two of the four principles at Facebook. What does that mean? At Facebook? Yeah, I don't know. What does that mean? Yeah, keep reading. Those were the two principles I was missing on that evening. Yeah, I don't know. These tweets have no manager, no publicist, no grammar checking. This is raw. Oh, gosh. Is he drunk? He did. Dude, I'm thinking he was like drunk. The one that really.

3:02:53Reached out to me like it hit me. I read it. I was like, whoa He goes I something about I wish I could meet every hater face to face and just have a conversation with them These aren't regular tweets. This is stream of consciousness You guys to know and feel where my head is at Beyonce didn't need that MTV didn't need that and Taylor and her family Friends and fans definitely didn't want or need that saying he was under the influence I am not a bad person. Even in that moment, I was only trying to do good, but people don't always need my help. I just wonder why now. Because he was whacked. Yeah, maybe he just saw it on TV and he was like, I can't believe I did that. Yeah, so drunk and then today sobering up going, oh man, what an idiot. Stupid Twitter. I wish they'd accept that I've grown and only want to do good for the world. I want to help as many people as I can.

3:03:54I wish they all knew how much I really cared about music and pop culture and art and people's feet. He had to be on something. Yeah, dude. Courtney Love did that a little while back, too. It's just like Twitter is dangerous for these celebrities. They're one after the other after the other. I mean, they're very... Over a hundred. Yeah. In one night. He was just... Part of me thinks, man, maybe he's just feeling... bad and sad and you know Twitter only allows you a certain amount so you just gotta keep going. Only 140 characters. Yeah. Clearly he wanted. They're all separate thoughts though. It's not like one long deal. I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful I want her to have it. Oh boy. I wonder if he really did write a song. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her. Creepy. I just lost it. Oh gosh. She deserves the apology more than anyone. We're both artists, and the media and managers are trying to get between us. Everyone wants to capitalize off this in some way. Now, to say that they're trying to get between you insists that she wants some sort of contact, Kanye. I think at this time last year, Kanye was maybe more relevant than Taylor Swift, and now he's not relevant at all.

3:05:24He's just trying to get in on her limelight. And don't you think she is probably like, okay, it's cool. Yeah. You did it. It's fine. Got it. I didn't need 98 more. I bet you a year later she's still not walking around going, that son of a bitch, Kanye, man. I'm going to get him one day. I'm going to get him. No, she's fine. She's over it. It's Kanye. I have to fight the urge sometimes to tell you guys my random thoughts. I want a hamburger. Oh, okay. I didn't win that time. Sometimes when I fight the thoughts, I don't win. That time I lost. And the thoughts won. Well, in about seven more minutes. I can do that. You can go get a hamburger. About five more minutes. We're going to be telling you with Hillary, who the eighth anniversary bash lineup is going to be. We'll tell you all about it. I don't just want a hamburger. I want a restaurant hamburger. I don't want a fast food one. I want to go to, like, the counter. Ooh. I went there on vacation. I did, too. You did? I went on vacation. I walked by it twice and went to Jimbo's. Why did you do that? I don't know. Have you ever had a counter milkshake? No. Holy smokes. Good? Oh, my God. Real good, I bet. Dude, come on. You've seen what I've done on vacation. What kind of burger did you get? I got, here's exactly what I got. I got the third pound burger with jalapeno jack cheese with horseradish mayo, shredded lettuce, and dill chips.

3:06:48Maybe you call Cubby every once in a while. I think I did. I think you were at home, you know, changing your man pond or something. Really? Oh, gosh. I wish I knew how to quit you. How many meals did I eat with you over vacation? Like ten. Two. BS. I fed you like five days. That's true. I had brisket yesterday. Brisket. You had. Go ahead. Struggle. Struggle to think of one. Ziti. Yes. Yes. Ziti. Two. Pamplemousse. No. Yeah. Keep going. Pamplemousse. Tie. Tie. That's four. I brought you a menu, though. Yeah. I brought you chicken in a pot. That's five meals, dude, in nine days. Get. All right. Get. All right. Where are you coming up with nine days? We've been off for two weeks. Nine work days. Yeah. Nine business days. I'm a businessman. I will be. That's how I think. You and Tim James. Yeah, me and Governor Tim James. It's probably just the businessman in me. Yeah.

3:07:47Joaquin Phoenix was a no-show at his movie premiere. Oh, man. Oh, boy. I read some stuff. Plays into the bit. I read some stuff about this movie. Okay, if it's a bit, I'm all the way in. Me, too. I got a big, giant worm in my throat with a hook hanging out of my mouth. But it's a bit. I got to see it. I want to see it so bad. I feel like the fact that he didn't show up for the premiere is like... But, you know, L.O.B., I read some stuff about it. Casey Affleck is the director. Ben Affleck's brother, he's married to Summer Phoenix, River's sister. They said in his press conference he was exasperated. He's like, look, guys, this is not a freaking hoax, and I never even thought it would be considered a hoax until people started talking about it. Isn't that what makes it brilliant? Isn't that what you would say if you were trying to... Coup d'etat the whole Hollywood. Right. But I heard there are scenes in this movie where you're just like jaw dropping. It's great. We've got to go see it. We have to. I want to see it real bad. I'll find out when it plays and we'll go. I want to see it. Maybe we'll have to take a road trip up to L.A. to go see it. In a big old gigantoid theater or something.

3:08:55Is that why? It's only in limited screenings right now. Oh, they'll show you. Oh, great. I'm not going to drive to Los Angeles to see it. Come on. I would. We'll go on a road trip. That means you really want to see it super bad. I just want to spend time with you guys. Is it? Did you hit your head over vacation? Yeah. It must be this brown hair dye. Hillary's here. And Hillary. Hi, Hugh. How you doing? Nice to see your smile. I know it. Nice to see you. So good to be back. How are you, Mike? Doing good. Feel great. Good. Had that surgery, and I'm feeling great. You're looking good. Thank you. All three of you are. Thank you very much. I'm looking fat. What do you think of this brunette girl we got? I know. I like. Welcome to the club. Thank you. It won't be here for long, so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. That's unfortunate. We need this fat kid over here. It's cute. Delivering papers. I like that. I like that. I like that. So, Hill, let's do this. Let's talk about- Let's do this. And I got a bunch of good- I'm going to play all three bands. Oh, nice. First, right off the bat. I grabbed all the CDs. Hill, for those of us that don't know, give us a little rundown on this bit. The 8th anniversary bash. FM 94.9 started in 2002 and in November is when it first signed on. I remember the day because I was working for the competition at the time, walking into my program director's office and he had it on and my heart sunk.

3:10:17Because it was so good. It sounded so good. Oh, yeah. I remember being super bummed. Like, dude. That's scary. We're dead. Songs are good. So I will never forget that. Anyhow, so it's a big celebration every November. There's always great bands playing, and we always do it in a small venue because it's just like this intimate little celebration. Oh, and. The radio station, we have a band. So we always open the show. That's rad. And it is hilarious, but also not bad. Because we get local musicians to come help us out. Like last year, Brian Karsig from The Nervous Records came out and sang with us. And, of course, Swami is in Rock from the Crypt, Night Marchers, all his hot things. So he played guitar with us, sang a little bit last year. So it's... Good, but funny. I heard Steve Woods might be in your band this year. Yes, Woodsy. How about that, Woodsy? Very nice. Sweet. It's awesome. All right, so let's do this. I'll give you the date and the venue. And, Hill, why don't you tell everybody. You can tell everybody who's going to be there. It's going to be Saturday night, November 13th, at 4th & B downtown. Incredible venue. Downtown San Diego. And, Hill, who's going to be there?

3:11:37No, you're not, Woodsy. Yes, I am. Break those plans, baby. I'm at a wedding. Are you really? Is that the wedding weekend? I'm about to cry. No way. I'm about to cry. You got to figure it out. I can't. I got a wedding. I'm in the thing. Oh, that hurts. So who's going to be there? Yes. Debbie Downer. I believe, well, the openers right after the FM 94.9 house band will be this band from Copenhagen that's really kind of blowing up right now. They moved to Brooklyn to record this new record. They're called New Politics. Sweet. They have a song that's insanely catchy, and I think we're going to start playing another song that they just recorded that's even better. Good, good band. New Politics all the way from Denmark. Sweet. After them, it's going to be... The Night Marchers. They have a new record getting ready to come out. I know who's been working on that. So right around the time that their new record, I think right around the time it's going to come out, the Night Marchers will play. And the Headliners, one of our favorite bands around here at FM 94.9. And they just toured and purposely skipped San Diego because they knew they were going to play for our anniversary bash, The Hold Steady.

3:12:46Nice. Very cool. Love it. Tickets are $26. No additional fees. Dollar of every ticket sold goes to the About the Music Fund. And that helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. That's rad. Goes on sale this Friday at 10 a.m. Very nice. You can also get tickets online at fm949sd.com. Very, very, very cool. Love it. Just so stoked to tell you all about it. So again, new politics, night marchers, and the hold steady. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. The Mikey Show is about late.