The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/09/10

2:35Welcome to the Mikey Show. How you doing? It's good to see you. It's what's today? Thursday. It's got me so backwards, Labor Day. My schedule's still real thrown off. Yeah. I think today's Wednesday. Well, it's not, Mike. Today's Thursday. Get used to it. You know, not too long from now, November, we're going to set our clocks back an hour, which is good because then you gain an hour to sleep one extra hour. We get to fall back in November. It's going to be real nice. Feels real good for about a week. Oh, yeah. 570-1949 is our number. So give us a call. You can call us about anything you want at the beginning and end of every show. It's open phones. It's an open forum. You can call about whatever. And we'd love to talk to you. You could ask questions. You could talk about whatever's on your mind. Open forum means whatever you want.

3:35I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. That's Woodsy, the guy in the Newsboy hat. Extra, extra. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's got on a sweater today. Staying nice and toasty warm. Freezing in here. Yep, freezing outside. Sienna is our news girl, but she's out on maternity leave and will hopefully be back soon. We miss her a lot. We do. Can't wait to look over and see that smiling face. And then the voice that you just heard there, of course, is Jay. And he is our producer. That's creepy Uncle Jay. That's my son Jake, who turns four years old today. Happy birthday. September 9th. Today is Jakey's birthday. Four years ago today. Little angel was born. A little angel was born. I was bawling my eyes out. I'm sure. So happy. He knows all about it now, man. He was all about his birthday today, yesterday. Yeah, he was all about his birthday last night. Mikey and I went to dinner with my wife. I was dropping Mikey back off, and Jake ran out, and he goes, Daddy, Daddy, do you have my presents? Yeah, he's ready for presents. I bet.

5:07So he'll get some of that today. Such a sweet kid, man. Happy birthday, buddy. Happy birthday, little guy. Word of the day today is rascal, all right? And so sometime between now and 10 o'clock, you will hear us use the word of the day. I'm going to cleverly work it into a sentence. That's how you know, okay? You will hear us cleverly work it into a sentence. When you hear that, caller 9-570-1949 will win what, Jay? We have another four-pack of zoo tickets and a four-pack of Legoland California. Over a $500 value. Yeah. Killer San Diego prize pack. And so just be listening for the word rascal. And then Senior Beans, Woodsy's little dog, will be on the air today in the 8 o'clock hour. So that's going to be fun. I left him a little note. That's when he was supposed to call. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, I left it right in front of his kibbles and bits. I love that. So he'll wake up to that and he'll be calling in. I can't wait. I cannot wait. Oh, yeah. It starts tonight. How about this one? Let's see. Doesn't that sound like Sunday? Oh, yeah.

7:11It smells like, to me, fall. I can taste it in my mouth. And I can feel the cold breeze blowing in and getting on the couch with the missus to watch football all day long. Yeah. The best. That's right. Football's back tonight. Tonight! And it's a rematch of the NFC Championship. It's going to be Minnesota and the Saints. Who do you like? Oh, man, that's tough. But I'm going to say the Saints, they're defenders, man. Defending Super Bowl champs. I am right there with you. L-O-B? Yeah, absolutely. Jay? Yeah. Jay is not a football fan. So he's not, you know, no. Born in Texas. And you're cheerleaders, though. Like that. Born in Texas. Never had an interest, Jay? I played. Right. All the way up to high school. But no, I just never liked to watch it on TV. I cannot wait. I heard something cool about Sean Payton, the head coach of the Saints. He wanted to chill his team out because he knows they're going to be all jacked up tonight. So he, on Tuesday, two days ago, took them to the Superdome and he had them turn the lights out and then put on these spotlights and he had them lower the Super Bowl champs banner that's going to be lowered tonight on national television.

8:38which I think is really smart. He wanted them to see it now and get used to it and live with it now instead of being on national television, seeing it happen and getting too jacked up and to like pressure and too much, all that stuff. Yeah. Freaking brilliant. Yeah. And so they enjoyed it. You know, they got it. They, you know, they, and now it's like, okay, you guys are champs. Now we do it on Thursday, you know? What a good coach. Yeah. He's a good dude, man. Do you remember the story last year about Sean Payton where he really won? I think it was the defensive coordinator really wanted the guy. And they were a couple hundred thousand dollars off from what the defensive coordinator wanted. Sean Payton wrote a check out of his own bank. He goes, that's how much I want this guy. And look what happened. They won the Super Bowl. Got his checkbook out, wrote the check, goes, here, get your ass over here. You're our D coordinator. Wow. Isn't that awesome? That's great. That's great. Well, it all starts tonight. I cannot wait until that 5.30 kickoff out here on the West Coast. That's right. That's great. Let's see. Jaybird, you got any of my fantasy facts? My fantasy football facts? Let me give you one. I believe it's...

10:0240 million Americans, or 40 million people play fantasy football. That's a lot. That's a lot of people. A lot. I'm stoked on fantasy football. Again, I had taken the last couple years off. Yeah. Just because I just got my butt handed to me a couple years in a row, and I was like, you know what? Maybe I saved my 100 bucks. Yeah. But being here and, you know, doing here in the office with everybody, I'm stoked on it again. Yeah, it was fun. Can't wait. I love it. I mean, it's a huge industry in the United States. And it went from not that many people playing to millions and millions and millions of people. You know, my wife has been in a league for like 10 years. They do drafts. When we went on vacation to Los Angeles a few weeks ago, we were going to go out to dinner and do the whole thing. And she's like, I got my fantasy football draft first. She had to do it online. She had to do it on Skype with all of her girlfriends. There's like 10 or 12 girlfriends. It's a bunch of girls? Yeah, a bunch of hens sitting around. Drinking vodka and making their picks. I love it. It's hysterical. That's funny. And she's good. Is she? She's good. That's great. Yeah, she's good. I think she's been top three the last five years. We have a fantasy football league here at Lincoln Financial Media. And I and Woodsy and Lauren are in this league. And Woodsy got to draw second. Yep. He got to draft second.

11:30I got to draft fifth for about the ninth year in a row. Seems like I'm always drafting fifth. Lauren drafted 11th, right? 11th. Out of 12. Out of 12. It's okay. You get those quick back-to-back picks. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, I think it's better than fifth. I'll tell you what. She had a great draft. She had a great draft. Mikey and I talked about it. We were walking out of the car. I was like, you know who had a great freaking draft? Lauren. Yeah. Lauren had a great draft. Yeah. In fact, I wanted to kind of poke fun at her. I can't. She's got a great draft. Do you know that I was going to show up empty-handed? Oh, my gosh. I had no idea. I've never done a live draft before. Can you imagine if she'd showed up empty-handed? I'd have lost my mind. Yeah, we would have lost our mind. Minutes before I left, I got an email from M1 Podcast telling me, hey, make sure that you print out the top 200 list and bring that with you. And I was like, oh, yeah, good call. Oh, good call. Amazing.

12:30Who's your starting lineup tonight? I've got, you know what bothers me is the CBS thing has the team quarterback thing. Yeah. So it doesn't ever say. But that's how we do it. It's not CBS. That's how Lincoln Financial Media's team does it. You know when that won't bother you is when your guy pulls his groin and you're still going to get some points from his backup. You'll be like, yes. Well, I want to see Aaron Rodgers' name on my roster. I've never had that. I've never had a team quarterback. Oh, I get what you're saying. It just says Green Bay quarterback. It says Packers TQB. But yeah, I've got Aaron Rodgers. I've got Felix Jones, LaShawn McCoy, one of the Eagles. Anquan Bolden, Chris Cooley, Tony Gonzalez, Jay Feeley, and then the Eagles defense, of course. Not bad. Woodsy? I am going with Carson Palmer in the Bengals quarterbacking. crew. Jamal Charles, running back from the Chiefs. Adrian Peterson, running back from the Vikings. Chad Ochocinco. Mike Williams, my little sleeper pick that I stole from Mikey that he's still bitter about from the Seahawks. Jason Witten, tight end, and Nate Kading is my kicker in the Ravens' D. Nice. I have Phillip Rivers. Of course. Rookie Ryan Matthews. Homer.

13:48Jonathan Stewart, running back from Carolina. Michael Crabtree, receiver San Francisco. Malcolm Floyd, receiver San Diego. Yeah, you love San Diego. That's right. I never draft like that. You know, the weird thing for me in football is that I... You don't hear the rest of my line? Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay. I thought you were done. No. All right. Four players. I'll just take it out of here. Reggie Wayne. Garrett Hartley and the Niners defense. It's riveting. Oh, gosh. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Oh, boy. Never mind. What were you saying? Nothing. Play nice. Nothing. Go ahead. No, I just want to tell people. Do you guys have anybody going tonight? I don't remember Saints or Vikings. I've got AP going tonight. No, I'm sitting. One of my receivers. What do you mean? Tonight. Playing tonight. Oh, oh, oh. I've got Adrian Peterson, and he's got. Brett Favre. Oh, yeah, I do have somebody going tonight. I got the kicker. Okay. Garrett Hartley. Garrett. Garrett. Kicker for New Orleans. Love fantasy football. What's the best? You can call us, 570-1949 if you want to give us a call. I also picked up LT, weird. Yeah, weird. I want that. So, football starts. I can't wait, man. Can't either. Let's get this thing going. You'll see about, what, half an hour of that game tonight?

15:14What time does it start? 5.30. I'll probably watch the first half. First half. I'll watch the first half. Bahaman police said on Tuesday that they're trying to identify human remains found in the stomach of a tiger shark. Twelve footer. Two legs. Two arms. And a severed torso. How about that? Wow. Isn't that the creepiest thing? There's some fishermen were just out there fishing on Saturday. They hook a tiger shark 35 miles out to sea. They get it in the boat. Your bigger boat. And when they open it up, they discover that there were human remains inside of the shark. Terrifying. That's the most terrifying thing. Now, they aren't sure.

16:41What the deal is, in fact, they think it could have even been somebody that was trying to, you know, like a migrant that was trying to make their way to Florida. It could be. You know, they don't know. But they know this. They know there are a couple of people that have been reported missing. And so they're trying to figure out, who is this? Oh, gosh. No head? No head. No head. It's the most delicious part, apparently. Yeah. Two legs, two arms. That makes my mouth water. And a severed torso. Oh, that is so creepy. Shark doesn't even chew his food at. I know, they just swallow, they bite a piece off and they just swallow it all. It's like my dogs. I know. I like to chew my food. I do too. Not sharks. Gosh, it makes me feel queasy. I know it. I'm glad that story ain't coming from here. Yeah, the Bahamas. It's the Bahamas. 570-194-9. If you call, you'll get to talk to Chris. He's our phone screener. That's gross. That's gross. Poor Chris was working at Independence Jam. And the first time I saw him, I was like, I don't know, 30 yards away. I go, it's gross. As loud as I could. People were waiting in line. They're like.

17:58Who is this idiot? That is so great. Yes, it is, he says. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. So are you a Facebook addict? Do you like to go onto Facebook all the time? Do you have it on your mobile phone? Do you do all this stuff? Well, if you do, you're going to be happy to know that GM is testing some software for their OnStar that will let you update your Facebook status. Amazing. From the car. I was on the ground floor of that. Were you L.O.B.? The advertising campaign. What do you mean? The commercial, the thing that I shot. Oh, that's right. A couple weeks back, yeah. LOB has been on a reality show on the Food Network as a person this year already. I just saw you on TV. Yeah, as a very tertiary character. Yeah, but you see, you know, you're on TV. That's cool. Yeah. And now a television commercial, right? Yeah, I don't know if it'll actually go on TV or not. They might just be using it internally. Yeah. Well, apparently. They're also going to test this thing that would allow you to read your text messages, which is great. Is it? Yeah, bro, because it keeps you from taking your eyes off your lap and from focusing on your phone, pressing buttons on your phone, doing all that. All you do is look at your screen. It's the same concept as GPS. Well, we just got a new...

19:19car and it has navigation and i find myself staring at that screen all the time that's not good either you'll get used to it so maybe you will because i don't do that well so what's the difference in this i'm driving right and i've got my left hand on the wheel and i've got my my what if i had my phone here like in front of me where my two hands off the wheel which instantly makes you impaired got it And so if you got both, you know, nobody drives. I don't drive with both hands on the wheel. My wife does. Does she? Ten and two. Really? Yeah. I don't. Sweet. But the concept here is that you don't have to be fumbling around with things in your hands. You just look over at the screen and there it is. So they're going to do that. And then they're going to test out some deals where it's going to have some preset buttons where. You can also reply. Yeah, I think four preset responses. Probably one of them should be, I'm in the car. Yeah, I'm driving. I'll text you when I get home. When we were doing this whole running through the commercial, I was thinking to myself, oh gosh, how many updates are you now going to get where someone's like, hey, check out the license plate in front of me. It says whatever. Or all the status updates are going to be about.

20:30What you see from your seat. Yeah, I agree with that. Great. I agree. Traffic sucks. There's the hottest chick in front of me, man. Never noticed how many blue geos there are out there. It would be good fodder for a dude you're dumb, so I'm all the way in on it. That's true. Man, Facebook has really become a part of every single area of our culture. One of our listeners, Josh Winery, sent L.O.B. this picture when L.O.B. was trying to wean herself off of Facebook over break. Oh, yeah. And it was a syringe with blue liquid. And on the outside of the syringe, it said Facebook on it. It was awesome. Really? Kid hits that needle real good every day. Yeah. It's ridiculous. I guess it's true, right? I mean, that's who we are. Yeah. We love our Facebook. I didn't ask you, Woodsy, who are you taking? You did say you're taking the Saints tonight, right? Yeah, I think we all said we were going to take the Saints just because, you know, until somebody takes the crown from them, they are the kings. There was a jogger that was attacked along a road in Lakeside. She's 19 years old, and she was jogging along an East County road, and she was able to get away, and the person took off in a white van. Yeah, she was running on.

21:55Quail Canyon Road near Blossom Valley Road. It's about 5 o'clock on Sunday. Van pulls up next to her. Guy gets out of the van. Tries to wrestle her into the bushes. And as they're... You know, by the way... I don't know that I would ever get a van for that reason unless I work. Yeah, because the van is the creepiest. It's always a van. It's always a van. Every time I see a white van, I say, oh, can I have a van? Yeah, I mean, it doesn't kind of, I mean, unless it's a business thing, you know, I always look at the, who chooses the white van? You say, ooh. Yeah. Jane Gum. Jane Gum. Yeah. I mean, really, it's, sorry to all of you, you know, non, violent sex offenders that drive white vans. I'm sorry. At least have some windows on that van. The one with no windows, that's the creepy one. I guess it's just, it's like this. When I say that this happened and I say that it was a white van, is there anybody that's like, I can't believe it was a white van. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Of course. So the guy tries to wrestle her into the bushes as they're struggling.

23:11He grabs the back of her shirt. He loses his balance, which causes him both to fall. She breaks away, and the guy gets back into the van, and he starts driving down Quail Canyon Road. And it's lined with houses, this area. Yeah. And so anyway, it's a box-style van, possibly a Ford, with tinted rear windows. Weird. Her attacker is an unshaven white or Latino guy, possibly 30 years old, average build, wearing a blue Padres cap. Man, be careful, ladies, and I guess dudes, but mostly ladies, when you're out there jogging, be careful. Yeah. Take some mace with you real good. Oh, yeah. Maybe a taser. I know it. Maybe a pistol. Mm-hmm. I've got pepper spray in my bag. I always think I'm going to reach into my bag for something else and just, ah. Yeah. Do you, but when you, you, you're an athlete and you go running and stuff, you don't carry anything with you? When I travel, I do, but. Like when you go, when you go running, like if you go running and wherever. I should. Maybe you can take your little switchblade. Hey, listen, I, uh, I admittedly, you know.

24:31have issues where I'm like, be careful, be careful. I'm the over, you know, I'm almost like a mom in that regard. But with that said, I wish that women wouldn't run alone. Now I've talked about before and LOB is a runner and LOB says that's part of it, man. You just kind of want to be alone and by yourself and all that stuff. And, and I understand that. I, I, I even, I even empathize with it. Because it's a form of escape. The thing is, is that we just live in such a creepy world that it makes me so sad, uncomfortable, scared, you know? We live in a creepy world. And I can't help but think that if that girl had been jogging with somebody, I bet it wouldn't have happened. You know? But it's scary. But, I mean, you could be in a parking lot by yourself. You could be in a mall. you know, by yourself getting into an elevator. I mean, that's the thing though. But if you're at, if you go to fashion Valley by yourself today, you don't hear very many people saying a woman was accosted at a shopping mall. It doesn't, you know, it's usually women are, that's not a safe. Yeah. Yeah. The garages, the lots and jogging. I mean, there was a mall back home that there was like three rapes in the parking lot. You know what I mean? So.

25:53There was a guy years ago that he used to lay under cars, and he would slit the back of their heel, dude. And so they'd be immobilized, and he'd grab them, throw them in their car, and take them off. Oh, my gosh. I mean, just the creep. My wife is gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Anytime she leaves the house, I'm like, oh, boy. Sure. I mean, beautiful blonde woman, I'm like, oh, great. You know, it's scary. Try to exercise caution, and if you have that self-defense stuff. For sure. Use it. Oh, absolutely. Take a class. So take a listen to this. We were doing a film. This is poet Maya Angelou. I want you to listen to this clip and tell me who you think she's talking about. We were doing a film. There was a film called Poetic Justice. And I had a trailer. And I walked out. The first morning, and there was a person cursing, using words. I mean, I've heard them, but not in such combination. And he didn't stop when he saw me. I didn't recognize him, and I thought no more about it than he was just wrong. The next day I came out, and he, this young man and another black young man his age, were standing up face to face using the most vile.

27:18Language. And you knew any minute they were going to come to blows. One black man of age went up to these two young men and tried to talk to them. So he got one. I went to the other. And I said, excuse me. He said, I wouldn't give up. I said, I understand that. I said, please let me speak. I said, yes, I see that. But when was the last time anyone told you that it's all for you? Wait till you hear the rest of the story. Wait till you find out. Who she's talking about. Panel discussion this morning about somebody suing Britney Spears for sexual harassment. Have you heard about that? We'll tell you. It's next on The Mikey Show. He ate some of my goji berries. You ate a goji berry? Yeah, they're impugnant. I'm picking them out of my teeth right now. I asked her. I said, are they any good? She's got this. Lauren's got the, you know, she's healthy. She's got these little bag of, they look like dehydrated bacon bits. It looks like a bag of bacon bits.

28:59And they're called goji berries. And I go, are they good? And she goes, skinny little red raisins. Yeah. Oh my God. I go, are they good? And she was honest. She goes, mm-mm. They're not great. They're better mixed in with things. It's called doo-doo berries. Yeah, doo-doo berries. Cereal or yogurt. Ugh. Cheesecake. On their own, they're kind of like very bland, bland raisins. Yeah, what about cheesecake and bacon? Are they a good mix of that? Those are not a sexual tonic. No? Goji berries. You know, Mikey, goji berries are among the most revered sexual tonic herbs in Asian herbalism. Is a sexual tonic aphrodisiac? I guess. Is that what that means? I don't know. It's a sexual tonic. I didn't know that until I just read it, but it's got antioxidants. That's why. I have them. Does anybody really know what antioxidants are? It just sounds great, right? You see that, you're like, I need that. No more oxidants for me. I'm so sick of my oxidants. I am too. Get rid of those. Word of the day is rascal. When you hear me use that word in a sentence, work that into a sentence, caller number nine wins a San Diego prize pack worth over $500 today. So be listening for it.

30:08And then Senior Bean's going to be calling in at 8 o'clock. The poet, Maya Angelou. Who's she talking about? We were doing a film. There was a film called Poetic Justice. And I had a trailer. And I walked out the first morning, and there was a person cursing, using words. I mean, I've heard them, but not in such a combination. And he didn't stop when he saw me. I didn't recognize him, and I thought no more about it than he was just wrong. The next day I came out, and he, this young man, another black young man, his age, were standing up face to face using the most vile language, and you knew any minute they were going to come to blows. One black man of age went up to these two young men and tried to talk to them. So he got one, I went to the other. And I said, excuse me. He said, I wouldn't give. I said, I understand that. I said, please let me speak. I said, yes, I see that. But when was the last time anyone told you that it's all for you, that we've left 300 years on the edge of a dime so that you could exist? When is the last time? Do you know that we stood on slave ship decks and stood on auction blocks and were hosed down like dogs?

31:37for you, so that you could live. Well, he started to cry. So I put my arm around his waist and walked him down. It was a little like a ditch. And I kept it back to the people because they started coming back. I'm sure they were afraid of random shooting or something. And I just talked to him. And I had no handkerchief or cleaning. So I just cleaned his face with my hands and talked to him. And when he was composed and I was composed, we went back up to the level and I continued to my trailer. I sat there when Janet Jackson came running in. She says, Dr. Angelo, Dr. Angelo, I don't believe you just talked to Tupac Shakur. I didn't know six pack. I haven't heard of anybody named Tupac. I mean, that's not my music. It's not my generation. I talked about this the other day. It's on ESPN.

32:37If you've never seen 30 for 30, 30 films made by 30 different directors that ESPN rolls out, they are riveting. Riveting. Sounds like it. Great documentaries. That was awesome. Yeah. I got goosebumps. I had no idea. I had no idea that, I don't know. anything about Tupac. You guys know that. Really? Nothing. I don't know anything about him. I do now. You want to talk about a talented, talented, talented smart guy? Yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, I didn't know anything about him. I didn't know any of his music except for California Love and learned a lot about him. Really deep guy. And that's a really incredible story about a guy that obviously had a much softer and sensitive side. And anyway, more on that and something real cool in just a second. We're going to get to the panel too, which is going to be, we're going to be talking about a guy that's filing a sexual harassment suit against Britney Spears. So we'll be telling you that in just a bit. Last night, Woodsy and...

33:51His wife, Jamie, and I went to Benihana in Carlsbad and were attended to by a Japanese cook by the name of Dong. Oh, gosh. That is a true statement. Dong. True statement. I took a picture of him. Long deck Dong. It just said Dong. Dong. And he had a name tag. Was he really Japanese? Yeah. And a name tag, yeah. He's maybe the first and only Japanese guy I've ever had at Benihana. Me too. It's usually Brad. Or Jose. Or Jose. Or Sergio. Hector. Hector. Yeah, his name was Dong. And he walked up to our table carrying his stainless steel tray with the garlic butter in it and the bowls. And when he walked up, I wasn't looking. Woodsy was and what he goes And I go what and I look and he goes And I saw that his name was dong Because his name tag it said right there it said dong in all caps Yeah

35:16Dong. Dong. And I looked at Mikey and I go, really? Only me. This is what only happens to me. Could you not concentrate the whole time? The whole time I was like this. He spoke no English. I was trying to talk to him. Nothing? Yeah, what does he try to talk to him? I go, ask him if any celebrities come in here. Because I wanted to see. It's very close to Legoland and I know that big stars go in. Oh, yeah. In fact, Conan O'Brien just tweeted that he was there. It was just at Legoland. Oh, at Legoland, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he said, next time maybe I would take my kids. But anyway, so I go, how many celebrities come in here? And so Woodsy goes, real loud, Woodsy goes, you ever get any celebrities come in here? Completely ignored. Silence. Completely. The guy didn't say a word. Dong didn't say one word. He came out, too, on a mission. And he had his, you know, the two spatulas. He was pounding this grill. I mean, it was the loudest Benihana I've ever been to. So I go, do you like Dave Grohl? I had no idea. He just smiled. Did he do tricks and stuff? Yeah. But he just wasn't conversing. No, not at all. And it was like, oh, wow. What's happening? Hot stuff. His name is Long Duck Dong. Yeah. I got the feeling he had done some of these tricks before.

36:41Oh, yeah. He did that? He was on it. Yeah. He was on it. He did the Mickey Mouse, the beating heart. Oh, I love the beating heart. He poured some soy sauce on it and made it a bleeding heart, which was great. Oh, sad. Steam volcano. Yeah, volcano bit. I said to Woods, that's right. I said to Woods, I go, how is it that Vince Vaughn has not been in a movie where he's in a fight with his girlfriend on his cell phone? and he's a traveling salesman, and he's on a business trip, and he hangs up his phone, angry from this conversation with his girlfriend, looks across the street, sees a Benihana, goes in there, and doesn't want any bits. He doesn't want any comedy from the chef. All he wants is to get something to eat. He's hungry, and he's in Topeka, Kansas. He walks in there. There's no one in there except for him. He sits down at the hibachi thing, and the guy walks up to him, doesn't speak any English, and is... And he goes, you know what, it's okay. I don't want any tricks tonight. Hey, I don't need the bits or the volcano or the beating heart. Just make it quick. Just make it quick. I'm just starving. I'm a businessman, traveling. And the guy smiles, but he doesn't understand him, so he starts doing the beating heart. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want any of that. Really, my man, just save it. I don't need it. Yeah.

37:59And just progressively gets angrier and angry. Ends up in a fist fight with him. Yeah. He's like, hey, David Copperfield, I don't need any tricks tonight, okay? I don't need any magic. I've already seen the volcano with the onions. I don't need it. Just make my Rockies choice and get it over here to me right now. Now I'm hungry. Right? Then we go to Benihana for lunch. Yeah. I'm in on that. In a heartbeat. I would be 100% in. 100%. So let's find out what's going on in the sports world with Little Woods on sports. We got the panel coming up. Britney Spears being sued for sexual harassment. Woods! Woods, Woods, Woods! Woods on sports, as always, brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, we talked a little bit in the open about the NFL kicking off tonight. I am so glad. It seems like it's taken forever to get the NFL back. That's just how I feel. I remember watching the Super Bowl at your house, Mikey. Yeah. That's how long it's been, man. A long time. The Saints are taking on the Vikings tonight in New Orleans. You know, for the defending Super Bowl champions to be playing, the odd thing is all eyes are going to be on one guy. Brett Favre, number four, starting quarterback for the Vikings. You know, 5.30 kickoff tonight. Here is Mr. Favre talking about it. Cut one. I just woke him up from a nap, by the way. You know, we have to line up and play this week. It's a different season. No different.

39:36In 96, we won the Super Bowl and came back the next year. It was great. Baby sleeping in the same room? Yeah, we can. Tonight we play the Vikings. Or the Saints. Baby sleeping. I'm excited to be back. Actually, he's living back at home. It was past his bedtime. His parents told him lights out at 9, and so he wanted to do the interview. Yeah, his roommate. No more phone. Yeah, exactly. Also, you can get your brooms out. It seems like the Padres have, well, they. Doesn't seem like they have. They've righted the ship. They swept the Dodgers at home, which was great. Good job, Padre. Rookie Corey Lubke bounced back. He struck out seven in six innings. They won four to nothing behind that rookie. Their lead is back to two games. Here is Corey Lubke on his start, cut two. Yeah, I think I was just a little, I felt a little more in control of my emotions out there a little bit. I was able to slow it down a little bit. But, you know, anytime you're playing in a big league game, there's some adrenaline going. You know, I think Yorvi and everybody else just second time around just felt a little more comfortable overall. I was able to go at him a little more. He's a good, good young pitcher, man, and he's going to be an integral part of this team, hopefully down the stretch. Also, Roger Federer is back in the semifinals of the U.S. Open in New York. He beat Robin Soderling convincingly. Now he'll take on Novak Djokovic. Nice. One of Mikey's favorite tennis players. Yeah, I love him. I've got Djokovic posters all over my car, actually, which is true.

41:01Here is the master, Federer, on his win. Cut three. I just feel happy that I played a good match under tough circumstances, you know, against a player who is really hard to beat these days, especially on the hard courts, you know. It really favors his game, and he's had a wonderful run now the last couple of years. So for me, this is obviously a big victory. We haven't talked much about the U.S. Open. because it's tennis, but I watched some highlights last night. They had like 22-mile-an-hour winds. Oh, my gosh. I saw one girl throw the ball up, hit it the completely opposite side of where it was supposed to be. I guess the ball moved in the air when she threw it up. I mean, balls are flying around everywhere. At least it's fair. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, at least they both have to deal with it. Yeah, that's true. And then there was some breaking news this morning that I wanted to let you guys know about. Apparently, Tom Brady was in a... Pretty serious accident. He walked away. They're saying, reportedly, unhurt. They had to use the jaws of life on the other person. Are you kidding? Yeah, and, you know, hopefully everybody is okay. When did that happen? This morning. Early this morning. I think it's 634. Eastern? Yeah, New England time. He was on his way to the stadium. Guy's probably going in to watch some film, get some work in. Sure. Got in an accident, and, you know, the guy is in the process right now of renegotiating his contract.

42:19Listen, I'm not a huge Tom Brady fan, but you hope the guy's okay. I mean, for sure. How bad would that suck? You're about to renegotiate your contract and you get hurt. Yeah. Terrible. So he is... Apparently okay. If we get more news, I'll let you guys know about that. But yeah, hopefully everybody is okay in that accident. It's gnarly. And that is Woods on Sports. Alright, so the panel is where we give you things that are happening in pop culture. Things that are happening in the world. And we will get about 20 seconds to comment on each item. I told you, Britney Spears is being accused of sexual harassment. It's coming... from a former security guard. When I say former, he worked for her in February. And he says, he says that she scarred him emotionally by exposing herself to him, insulting him, and threatening to fire him over a Slurpee. I'll explain. This guy's name is Fernando Flores. And he says that, again, humiliated, traumatized, those are his words. And...

43:27He says that the deal is that she made repeated unwanted sexual advances. One time she summoned him, this is his word, summoned him to her room at her house for no other purpose or reason than to expose her naked body or near naked body. And that she also engaged in numerous sexual acts in front of him. Wow. Now, he says that if she wasn't doing that, she was cussing at him. They went to see the movie Alice in Wonderland one time, he says. And she says, I want you to go get me a Slurpee. He says, yeah, but there's a 15-minute wait. And she flips out and says to him, I want my bleeping drink. I'm going to fire your bleep. Security guard, this is a security guard again. He says that he reported it to his supervisors, which, by the way. I mean, isn't your supervisor... You? It's probably... Either you or Brittany? She'd probably contract a company from a company to get these security guards. To get these guys? Yeah. 1-800-DIAL-A-THUG. Well, he says that he reported it to his supervisors who mocked him. Well, yeah. And said, quote, you know you liked it. Oh. So, I guess this begs the question.

44:53You know, is this a bit? Is this a, you know, is this a way for you to get money? Or, you know, can guys genuinely be sexually harassed? Woodsy. Yeah, I mean, I think guys can be sexually harassed. But I think this guy in this case, granted, I don't know everything. So don't freak out on me. But in my opinion, this guy's wanting 15 minutes of fame and a nice payday. And in this case. somebody with as much money as Brittany could say alright pal I'll give you 75 grand just shut your mouth it's over you know what I mean and I think it's a really good way to get money she could have sexually harassed me 10 years ago I wouldn't mind it 10 years ago yeah LOB yeah I mean I definitely think that guys can get sexually harassed sounds like I don't know I don't want to say this is par for the course but when you work with celebrities you know you're not going to be working in a traditional you know HR supervised environment Did I say suck it up? Well, I think dudes can be sexually harassed, and I'm not 100% sure that I feel that this guy is doing a bit because he wants money. I don't know. But what I will tell you is, if it were me, first of all, I wouldn't be applying for a job to be Britney Spears security because I wouldn't want to be in that environment.

46:17If I did apply for that job, I'd know the environment I'm going into. Right. You know, conversely, if I applied to be security for a well-known pastor, I wouldn't expect for the pastor to be going, go get me a Slurpee, you know, and make it quick. And, you know, I don't know. Anyway. Okay. I mean, but then I guess maybe you could say that this guy's trying to be like, hey, just because they're celebrities doesn't mean they should be able to treat people this way. And if nobody speaks up, it'll continue. Yeah. I don't know. You can look at it that way. I agree. And then the other one is the, I don't know if you know about this, but in China, you know, you can only have one kid. Yeah. Yeah. You guys all knew. I felt like an idiot. I had no idea. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I didn't know. That's why there's so many babies up for adoption. Yeah, man. Girls. Yeah, girls. They do not want baby girls for sure. They only want boys. And they have this one-child rule, gigantic population in China. It's 1.3 billion people. Well, apparently, since this policy has been in place, 400 million births in China have not happened. Wow. You know, either through...

47:32abortion or sterilization or fines for people if they have more than one child well now they're starting to take a look at that and they're saying all right we're going to take a look at the the five different areas in china where they have low birth rates and we may allow a second birth there if at least one of the spouses is an only child so that's what they're saying okay now This is all just population control? It's all population control, and, I mean, they do have a big population, and that's what they've done to curb it. Is that policy barbaric, or is it a smart, proactive move? And I'm kind of torn, because when I heard some of, you know, 400 million... birth not occurring it's a lot of you know abortions or other things that they're they're doing and I know there's been some talk about other ways of getting getting rid of children I think it's pretty I lean towards the barbaric on that I really do LOB I agree I mean you just kind of have to let that the natural population control take its course and I've heard of some I don't mean

48:52You hear these tall tales of things that happen, but I believe there's some validity to what happens, and it is pretty barbaric. Yeah. And I'm with both of you guys. You know, it's a barbaric policy, and it's weird. Yeah. Okay, so I told you I was going to give you a little bit more from the documentary on ESPN called One Night in Vegas. Tupac died because he got shot to death. What I didn't know was that he was pretty good friends with Mike Tyson. The two of those guys are very similar in a lot of ways. One guy was pretty popular for being a tough guy in the ring, and the other guy was pretty popular for being a tough guy with a microphone. And didn't know this either, but apparently Tupac used to record the songs that Tyson would come into the ring to. And the night that he died... The night that Tupac was shot, he was at a Mike Tyson fight. He went to a Mike Tyson fight. And he recorded the entrance song for him to come in to that night. And the way that Tyson tells the story is Tyson really liked and wanted those entrance songs. And so he was on his buddy Tupac, hey man, I need you to get me this song. It's getting close to the fight.

50:21I want this song. I want this song. So here's the guy that runs the studio that recorded the song. It's a track record studio, South Studio. We got a call on a Monday, Tuesday, I think it was, that we were going to actually do a song for Mike Tyson. Tupac was going to come in, lay some lyrics down on a beat that we made, and we were going to ship it off to Vegas so that way they can play it during the fight. We came in for a couple of days, busted out the beat. Got a call Friday morning saying Pac's going to show up, make sure we're on point. Make sure you're ready when he comes in. He's got a tight schedule. So he's going to come in for a couple hours, he's going to lay the lyrics, then you're going to mix it, and then we're going to send it off. Pac would allow me, I would talk to him and he would send me music where I come out to the music in my fights. So he'd make the tape, I'd ask him the tape, and he said, no, I'm going to make it tomorrow. So I always call him and ask him, the tape is going to be ready for the fight because it's getting close. Comes out the limo, walks in the door, says, what's up? Walks right into the room, started playing the beat, said turn it up, cranked it up for him, let him feel it. The man listened down maybe two, three times at most. Within 15 minutes, the track I think was about six minutes long, he listened down about three times. Had everything, pad and paper in his hand the whole time he would listen. Just writing, just writing, just writing, just writing. Yo, roll a blunt. Writing, writing. Where's my Hennessy? Writing, writing. Next you know it, he stops tape. Let's do it.

51:43Less than 20 minutes from the time the man walked into the door to the time he walked out of that room. 20 minutes. Song was done. And then he tells me, he says, all right, dude. Hey, man, it was great working with you. I appreciate everything you did. And he said, I'll be back Sunday. He did not live to be back on Sunday. When we come back, I'll play you that song that he recorded. 20 minutes. Took him 20 minutes. Listen to a six-minute track a couple of times. Jotted down some words. When we come back, I'll play you the finished product. Right before we went to break, I told you that I played you some audio from this documentary on Tyson and his friendship with Tupac. And how Tupac used to record the music that Tyson would come into the ring to. Great story about how the guy was so good, he would just come in, 20 minutes, listen to a track he'd never heard before a couple of times.

53:42Jot down lyrics and roll it out. And I'm going to be playing that for you here in just a second. The Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, who's on maternity leave right now, and Jay. Don't forget, 8 o'clock this morning, Senior Beans, Woodsy's little doggy. Little Yorkie. Little Yorkie is going to be on the air with us. All right. And word of the day today is rascal, so when you hear that, worked into a sentence between now and 10 o'clock. Caller number 95701949 will win an over $500 value prize pack, which is really cool. It's a San Diego prize pack. It includes a four-pack to the zoo, four-pack to Legoland. The word is rascal. So here is the song that Tupac recorded for Tyson to come into the ring to. Thank you.

55:32In his prime, unbeatable. No doubt. Unbeatable. We were talking the other day, you and I were, about... Just how I was a young kid and watching that guy fight was epic. Dude. The guy walked in and you're like, oh my gosh. Intimidating. Oh yeah. The black shoes, no socks. Black shorts. Yeah. A lot of times just had a towel that he cut a hole in to stick his head through. Just one of the fiercest dudes alive. Bulldog. He was very powerful. Very. he had a very good left hook and he had a very good jab you ever see when he would play when he did defense and he would just put the two gloves up to his chin and he would just dance around like that just not even caring like go ahead yeah take your best shot he was real good he was real good um what about this welcome ladies and gentlemen to san diego old time radio what did radio sound back many years ago in the old time days

57:04When life was much, much simpler. Days of old time radio here in San Diego. How about this? Well, I'm E.G. Marshall. Welcome to the world of mystery. Scared already? Yeah, it sounds like one of the mystery ones, right? It reminds me of R.Wazzy. Yeah. Yeah, this was Dateline NBC before Dateline NBC. The story you are about to hear is called... Lost dog. Terrifying. Yeah, not the most intimidating name for a television show or a radio show. A dog story. Please don't expect a charming family tale about man's best friend. In fact, you may even decide that the dog in this story is man's worst enemy. It all depends on whether or not...

58:01You share the particular terror of our heroines. Little obese Mikey laying on his stomach looking at the radio with both hands up to the side of his cheeks. Maybe tighten that intro up a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. There is a dog. A dog has fleas. Yeah, yeah. Some dogs do. Some dogs take flea medicine to get rid of fleas. But in this case, in case you didn't know, maybe tighten that up a little bit. Miss Julia Smollett. Get out! What? Worst impression of a dog ever. Maybe get a dog to do the sound effect. Hey, Rick, can you do a dog? I don't know. We'll try it. We'll take it. More of a pig, but it will work with it. They did find a real rabid woman, though, to play that part. Give me a dog, for sakes. Is that going to make it? Typical day at Mike Tyson's mansion.

59:06So that's how they started it? Yeah. Like the scariest part? Yeah. They go right to the action. No lead in. They just want to hook you right away. Full orchestra in the studio. Yeah. As they're recording it, 955 people in tuxedos. Yeah. Yeah. As Alice is falling down the rabbit hole. Yes. A mystery drama, Lost Dog, was written especially for the... When did it go from drama to drama? Because back in the 30s and the 40s, it was drama. Drama. They all wore hats like I have on. That's right. Little newsboy hat. Extra, extra. Read all about it. It's probably about when grand went from grande. Grande. Grande to grand. Henry Slessor and stars Kim Hunter. It is sponsored in part by the Kellogg Company. You know, if you're going to hook me with the tension and the fear factor.

1:00:03When you start talking about Ovaltine and cereal, you lose me. Makers of Kellogg's special. Really? With that? Keep me in it. Delicious and nutritious. Hey, cereal. I'll return shortly with act one. I'm Cliff Robertson, and I made a picture not long ago called Charlie. When did it go from picture to a movie? I made a picture called. Wow. Absolutely nothing. Is this a commercial? Yeah. You don't hear this on the radio nowadays, do you? No. It's an uplifting night of radio, by the way, right? I'm going to speak in the most monitoring voice I possibly can. Mother, what is mentally retarded? Right. Some children are luckier than others. Some kids can be just a little slow in learning. But some will never learn much of anything at all. But every one of them can. But let me tell you something.

1:01:13Working with those retarded kids was one of the funnest things I've ever done in my entire life. Anyhow. I'm so tense right now. I know. It's so tense. Back to the mystery. Of the lost dog. Of the lost dog. And that perhaps is the most important thing that I've... You know, something hasn't been created yet. It's called political correctness. Yeah. It won't come along for another 70 years. But until then, let's talk about these retarded children. These kids have a right to a chance to learn as much about how to live. Can you imagine driving in your car? You're driving in your car and you're like, oh, wow. As they can. The National Association for Retarded Children. By the way, this message about retarded children brought to you by the makers of Ovaltine. And it's nearly 1,500 local associations are helping to give them that chance. Will you help too by supporting the work? of your local association for retarded children. Holy cow. Thank you. Now back to the show. Oh, back to the commercial. Really uplifting night of radio. Is that supposed to be the sound of someone dropping an empty cup? No, they dropped a ladle. It's the sound of a pee hitting their stomach or something.

1:02:43A world where they could grow up to become whatever they want to be. But millions of these children will never find out about that world. Because they'll never know what they can learn in books unless you help. Riff, reading his fundamental, is helping to get millions of books into the hands of these boys and girls. You know, ladies and gentlemen, I like to chew tobacco. That is, until I found that there's something called gum cancer. Books they can choose themselves for keeps. And once a child gets into books, there's no stopping him. More than 150 local ripped programs are proving it in communities like yours. You know, books are a gateway to Braille. I found this out working with a national organization for Braille. Do you think this is just meant to make all the kids at home listening just feel bad about their privileged lives? You naughty little children. No. Think about the ones that can't. You idiots have radios. These kids don't have books. Yeah. And can't learn. If you're just tuning in, this was the invention of low self-esteem. Yeah. Don't you help Riff help the children in your community? Write to Riff Incorporated. That's R-I-F. Care of Smithsonian Institution, Washington, D.C. 20560. Thank you for listening to another uplifting episode of...

1:04:13Old Time Radio. All right, let's go through our predictions for the season. Tonight it begins. Tonight, New Orleans Saints taking on the Minnesota Vikings. It's week one. Yep. AFC East, I'll take the Jets. This is who I believe will win the divisions. AFC East, I'll take the Jets. AFC North, the Ravens. I actually think they're going to pull it out over the Steelers. AFC South, AFC West, the San Diego Chargers. And the NFC? NFC East, I'll take the Giants. Over your Eagles and over your Cowboys. NFC North? Either they're going to be the Vikings or the Packers. I'll take the Vikes until they show me something else. And NFC South? I'll take the Saints until they show me something else. Let's see.

1:05:36In the NFC West, give me the Niners. Woodsy. Well, I guess I'll start with the AFC as well. I'm going to go AFC East. I am not buying into the Jets hype. Really? Whatsoever. I'm taking the Patriots in the AFC East. I am. In the West, I, too, took the San Diego Chargers because... Who else plays in that division? In the AFC North, I took the Bengals, mostly because I have their entire team on my fantasy. I had as a wild card the Ravens, so we're kind of in agreement there. And then the AFC South, I also took the Colts because that is a pretty turdish division as well. In the NFC East, the Giants, really? Yeah, the Cowboys are going to be winning the East. There's no question about that. In the NFC West, I too took the 49ers. In the North, Brett Favre is not going to be Brett Favre this year. One year can make all the difference. I took the Packers. Aaron Rodgers is going to have a huge year. In the NFC South, I took the Saints. For sure. LOB. In the AFC East, I took the Patriots. You did? Because Patriots always win.

1:06:53Look at you. Both of you guys are going Patriots in that division. I took that same deductive reasoning for the AFC North with the Steelers because they're just a powerhouse. They have been forever. They're not going anywhere. AFC South, I got the Colts. Yeah, makes sense. Obviously. AFC West, I got the Chargers. NFC East, do you even have to ask? Oh, my God. Come on. She's a Philly Philly. The Kevin Cobb era. Yeah. I've got the Eagles over the Deadskins. Wow. Wow. And the Cowboys. And come on, Giants, Mike. Come on, Mike. Come on, Mike. Why'd you pick the Redskins? Just in the Super Bowl a couple of years ago. The NFC North, I have the Vikings. Tough pick over the Packers. I don't know. Could be right there, Woods. NFC South, I got the Saints. And the NFC West, I kind of arbitrarily picked the Cardinals because I didn't know anything about any of those teams. I love it. Matt Leinart era over. Oh, yeah. Before it began. Matt Leinart. Johnny Hollywood. That's right. Couldn't hack it, could you, pal? Jay, did you pick teams? Because Jay's not a football fan. He wouldn't have. But here's what's funny. He could take this, throw it up on the board, shoot BBs at it for his picks, and probably beat us. Yeah. Do that. We're going to be talking to the world's most prolific bounty hunter in today's show. That's what he says. He says he's the world's most prolific bounty hunter. Self-proclaimed.

1:08:23Self-proclaimed. More than Dog the Bounty Hunter, more than any of those dudes. I mean, this guy has rustled it up. His name is Leonard Padilla, and he's a bad dude. We're going to be talking to him in a little bit. Nice. What do you think of this email? Mikey, I'm a college student that lives with my mom and teenage sister. My mom and dad are separated. My dad has a mistress and has had a couple of kids with her already. I'm not going to go into detail because it's really long, I don't even exactly know what's going on. I've been mostly kept in the dark about the situation. There's a big falling out between my mom and almost everyone on my dad's side of the family. My mom doesn't want anything to do with my dad's side of the family and is trying to get me and my sister to do the same thing. My sister and I were invited to an outing with my dad's side of the family. After I told my mom that my sister and I were invited, I knew she didn't want us to go.

1:09:23She even went as far as saying, don't leave me alone. And saying that all they're going to do is ask us questions. Questions about what? About her? I don't even know. She's just trying for us to forget about my dad's side of the family. But there is one problem. I don't want to forget about my dad's side of the family. He is my family. Sure, he made a huge mistake, no doubt about it. But we're still on speaking terms. He's still trying to support me and my sister. I'd like to still have a relationship with everyone in my family, not just my mom's. Yes, she's been through a lot, and I understand why she doesn't want to interact with him. But for her to basically demand that her kids do the same, in my opinion, it just isn't right. What can I do, Mikey shows? Support my mom and not visit my dad's side of the family or stay in a relationship with my dad's side of the family and at the same time hurt my mom? The one parent who has been there for me and my sister since the beginning.

1:10:25Thanks, M1 Dilemma. Now, this is interesting to me because this brings up something that a lot of us will do. We'll get into a dysfunctional routine because our parents did something for us, a lot of times out of guilt, okay? For instance, you'll hear a lot of stories about a mom or a dad who will cheat. And then that mom or dad that was the cheater will sort of overcompensate with their kids by being really cool to the kid, whatever you want, whatever you want. And what happens is this real bizarre sense of loyalty goes to that parent because they give you everything you want. And in addition to giving you everything that you want, they're also there for you no matter what you do that's wrong.

1:11:23They'll be there for you. And the reason that they're there for you is because they did something wrong and they are trying to make up for that by excusing everything that you do that's wrong. And what I mean by that is, is that they think to themselves, I can't call her on this. I can't call my daughter on this because I cheated on her mom. And so she's in a mess of trouble and she did something wrong, but I'm not going to discipline her. What if she throws back in my face, really, Dad? You cheated on Mom. So instead, the parent overcompensates and does whatever the daughter wants and supports the daughter no matter what. Okay, so that's one scenario that could happen. The other scenario is just like this dude says. He says, my mom was the one parent who was always there for me and my sister since the beginning. Which means that now, regardless of anything, you have this sense of like, I don't want to hurt her feelings. She was there for me from the beginning. Even though it may be wrong to ostracize your dad's side of the family for her. Right. You know, for her. So Woods, L.O.B., what do you guys think of that? I think his mom is...

1:12:48Definitely in the wrong, man. I mean, I think she's manipulative. I really do. I think that this guy, both of his parents are adults, and they should act as such. Now, did his dad screw up? Sure. His dad also, if they're separated and he's got kids and he's with another woman, get a divorce, okay, number one. But the mom needs to be a mom and be an adult and say, hey. You're an adult. You can make your decisions, and I'm not going to get hurt because you have a relationship with more. Too much family is not a bad thing. The more the merrier. I've seen this situation play out so many times. It just hits home. I've seen it happen to friends and even people in my own family where a similar situation will happen. His mom's being manipulative, but she's speaking from a place of pain. She's not seeing that. you know, right now this is a situation where the parent, I mean, the child almost has to be the parent and say to their, to his mother, say, you know,

1:13:52This is my dad. This is blood. By talking to him, by talking to his family, I'm not condoning what he did with you. I think that's wrong, but the whole family has to isolate the two incidents. His relationship with his mother is completely separate of the relationship that he has with him and his sister. I'm fond of saying that it's okay to feel any way that you want to feel. I'm talking now about the mom. It's okay to feel any way that you want to feel. It's just not okay to wipe it all over everybody's face. Such a good point. Here's the thing. Mom is so hurt by what the dad did, cheat on her, that she wants, I'm taking a lot of liberties and taking guesses here and filling in blanks, but I believe that she wants the dad that cheated to feel as much pain as possible as retribution for what happened. And her son ostracizing him would fit right into that plan. For sure. And so it bums her out that she's not being able to inflict as much pain and consequence on the ex-husband as possible. And so she's using the son to try to inflict that pain. And it's just not fair. I mean, you see this happen sometimes when maybe a wife doesn't get along with her mother-in-law. Right. Then she will try to...

1:15:09draw a wedge between the kids and their grandmother or something like that. And that's just not fair. Or the husband and his mom. Right, exactly. That's not fair. M1 Rich is from Sereno Valley. Good morning. How are you? Good. What do you think? From listening, I actually agree with all of you. It's just it's wrong for the mother to put her children in that kind of position when that is the children's family. You don't put a wedge in that. And the mom's speaking out about the father and the wrongs that she's done. I think she needs to keep her mouth closed. Keep it between the husband, ex-husband, separated husband, whatever, and herself. Her kids don't need to hear about what he did. She needs to keep it separate and let the kids come to the realization of what happened with their mom and dad on their own instead of her chirping, saying, your dad this, your dad that, your dad this, your dad that. The kids need to come to the realization on their own about their father. They love him, and they're going to back him, and they love their mom, and they're going to back her. They need to come to the conclusion on their own. But I think she's in the wrong saying those things and telling them, oh, don't go, don't go. Oh, they're going to ask you questions. Well, if they do ask them questions, don't answer the question. Just say, I don't really want to speak of this right now. I'm here to be with my family. Great points, M1 Riches. Woodsy? You know, can we all agree here that...

1:16:23It is possible to be a terrible spouse and a great parent. Absolutely. You know, you can be. Those are isolated relationships. You can be the world's worst husband. And you can be the world's greatest mom or dad. You know, and I think that's where she needs to realize that, hey, man. Yeah, you guys aren't together anymore. He screwed up that relationship. He screwed up that relationship. He can still be a good father. Yeah. Is there anybody listening right now that has this take? No way, man. That mom was there for that kid the whole time. Loyalty is loyalty. You stay loyal. That dad should experience pain and consequence from the kids. And how dare those kids turn their back on their mom when she's in pain and do something that's going to cause further pain. Does anybody feel that? 570-1949. Barbara Boxer probably going to be having a talk with one of her aides, Marcus Stanley.

1:18:08It may even have to cause her to write an internal email to everybody on her staff to remind them, oh, hey, when you go to the Senate office building, don't take your pot. Don't take your weed. Because apparently one of her aides just got busted for doing just that. He took some weed into the Senate office, and I guess they frown upon that now. They even made a law about it. And you can't do it anymore. Padre fans, be careful. Apparently, the BNSF Railway Company is telling people to be careful as you are trying to get across the street. They're talking about the Fifth Avenue Railroad Crossing. And they're just saying, hey, listen, it's a real high traffic area. It's near the convention center in the gas lamp. And they want people to be real careful as they're walking to and front home games at Petco.

1:19:11People who don't want to wait to find other means to go around and they ignore the warning lights, they're getting themselves into some problems and creating some hazards. So be careful. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Speaking of Padres, all right, you guys wanted it. This is it, man. This is the series. It's the Giants come to Petco Park. Tonight, it's Matt Cain against John Garland, 7.05 first pitch. Padres have a two-game lead right now, man. This is a key. Key series. Okay, and then also one of our M1s very sweetly just sent me a picture of Tom Brady's car. Yeah. A little dinged up, but I think he's going to be okay. A lot of people calling in right now. By the way, don't forget, this morning at 8 o'clock, Woodsy's dog Senior Beans is going to be calling in. It's your little Yorkie. My little pumpkin. Word of the day is rascal. When you hear me work the word rascal into a sentence. Then you call 570-1949. Caller number nine gets a over $500 value prize pack for the San Diego Zoo and Legoland. Real good. So be listening for that. Could be coming up at any time. Got an email from a guy that said that his dad cheated on his mom. And this is an adult. This guy's an adult. So my dad cheated on my mom. My mom doesn't want me to have anything to do with my dad now. Tough. He says, I don't want her to go through any more pain. She was always there for me. That kind of thing.

1:20:42He just doesn't know what to do. It's just selfish, though. That's an impossible request to say, okay, now you just don't have a relationship with your father because our relationship was screwed. I could not agree with L.O.B. more. I agree with that 100%. M1, Kurt from Santee. Hey, Mikey. How's it going? Good, man. What happened to you? Hey, my wife left me for another guy. Divorced recently. She went to West Virginia all the way across country. And, you know, I've got two kids that I take care of, and they are 100% the joy of my life. They're angels that she gave to me. She chose to get out of the marriage. That's her choice. But my thing is I would never, never say anything bad about her to those kids because she gave me a perfect... perfect two little babies that are now seven and four that are excelling at school and doing so well um as far as them uh choosing i wouldn't tell them anything in regards to what she did it's up to them to find out it's up to them to if they want to find out i'm not going to lie to them but my whole thing is um uh it's wrong for uh

1:22:06I shouldn't say wrong, but I understand the gentleman's feelings in regards to not going back. But I think it's also he's got to look at it as he had two parents. Yeah, there was a mistake made, and that was it. They raised him. That was it. They're kids. Thank you, Kurt. I appreciate it. That's a real man right there, man. Yeah, absolutely. M1 Kurt is a real man because he's not going to disparage the mother of his children, you know, for the decisions that she's made. And they've got kids together. They did it together. We have a couple of people on the line that agree with mom and think that it's, you know, she's well within her right to tell her kids, I don't want you hanging out with dad's family. Because dad cheated on me. There's a couple of people on the line that are waiting to say that. How about this, though? M1 Felix from Irvine wants to say that he doesn't believe that you can be a good father and a bad spouse at the same time. Is that right, Felix?

1:23:20If you're a good husband, obviously that's already taken away. If you're cheating on your wife, you're not going to be a good husband. But that's also showing your kids now some immorality and things that really the kids shouldn't know. So you're not really being a good father and setting that example. But, Felix, isn't it possible to tell your kids something and then you do that? Oh, no, absolutely. I agree. But I'm just saying I think there's definitely a difference. I don't really think. that you can completely separate being a good husband or a great husband and a great father. I think... Felix, you know, and you made the distinction. I didn't. I never said that in order to be a bad spouse, you had to cheat on your wife. You can be the most faithful guy in the world, still be a terrible husband. Terrible. Yes. You know what I mean? And I think... But, I mean, because you... Man, I've seen it before. I've seen it where guys... They get into a marriage. They have a child. Sometimes the child was unexpected. The marriage starts to deteriorate. Their relationship, that really they maybe never even really had that solid of a basis, but that kid is that person's life. The wife takes a backseat to that, or the husband. Which, by the way, you've heard me say before, I think is wrong. It definitely is wrong. I think the wife should come before the kids. Absolutely, but I think...

1:24:41I think it is possible to be the most faithful man in the world, to be married to your wife, and just be a terrible husband, but be a great, great dad. I really think that that's... I think the two can coexist. That's a fascinating conversation to me. It is. Do you think that makes you worse of a father because you're not that great of a husband? Yes. I think it makes you a bad, yeah. A bad role model? It compromises your... It's just the whole role, the total encompassing package as a father. How many times have we heard that it shouldn't be athletes that are our kids' role models? It's us. Yeah, and I do agree with that. But, man, I've seen it. I've seen it. Friends and stuff that are not the world's greatest husbands, not cheating on their wives, not hitting their wives, but just not paying that much attention and being that active of a husband, but a great, great dad. I'm a better. husband than I am a dad. I've told you before, I work on the dad part. It's a lot easier with Jake, who's four today. My son Jake is four today, and it's a lot easier with him now because he's older. But I struggle to be a good dad, especially to my one-year-old boys, because I don't know what to do with them. I have a theory on that. Have I ever said this on the air, what my theory is about that? No.

1:26:08Mikey reminds me a lot of a guy that I used to work for. And when he was a very intelligent, very intelligent guy, as you are. And he was a guy, though, that needed feedback, needed, you know, you touch something and it responds. You need response. Once your boys are of age, when they are two, three, when they start talking, hey, Daddy, hi, Daddy, can we do this together? Will you do that with me? I think it's going to be a different story, just like I think it was with Jake. You require that. That's just the way you are. You require that feedback. Now, you can put a six-month-old baby in front of me, and I'm going to have four hours. I'm going to have a blast. I'm going to be doing zerberts on the belly, the whole thing. What's a zerbert? Like a raspberry? Show him. Come here, I'll show you. Come on, let me do one thing. You're on your arm.

1:27:06I was probably the baby. I was the baby that didn't laugh at that, I'm sure. You and Luke. Yeah, me and Luke. You know, here's the thing. But I think you need that response, and I think you need that interaction. I see you with Jake. I see you with Jake. What I enjoy the most about fatherhood is the teaching. And what I mean by that is the teaching about life. You know, I'm not going to teach him how to hit a baseball. What I'm going to teach him, you'll be there for that. I'll be there for that. But what I will teach Jake and Luke and Ryan is what a real man is. And that doesn't have anything to do with how tall they are. It doesn't have anything to do with what they look like. It has everything to do with the God that they worship. That's what I'm going to teach those kids. That's what I'm going to teach my boys. It's going to have everything to do with their worth being set upon what... God says they are. That's my fatherhood thing. And I love teaching Jake that. I love teaching Jake. There's going to be limitations that you have in life. There's always going to be limitations that you have in life. But it doesn't matter how tall you are. What matters is what lives inside of you and who you are because of what lives inside of you. And it's also going to be dependent on what you don't say.

1:28:24It's going to be a lot harder for you little dudes to keep your mouth shut because if you can control your tongue, it proves that you can control every other part of your body. And that's the things that I and I love those lessons. I've started a little bit of that with Jake. And when I do. Sometimes he's listening. Sometimes he's not listening. It's probably going to be the same when he's 24, though. I was going to say, the good news is you're going to be a dad the rest of your life. So you're still relatively new when you think about that. What I'm not good at, though, is playing. That's okay. I don't play good. You have your strengths. Your strengths and weaknesses, man. You work on your weaknesses. When you spend time with Mikey's son, Jake, as I have spent a lot of time with that kid. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. And when you can't teach a good heart, you can't. I mean, it's kind of like maybe you can a little bit. And maybe you guys have done that with him. He is a good hearted little boy. Hey, I've seen some not so good hearted little kids in my day. And he is a good hearted little kid. So I think you sell yourself a little short, pal. You are short. Yeah, I sell myself for how tall I am. And when John from PB, are you there?

1:29:38Hi, John. You do agree with the mom in this case. I do. Tell me why. Husband making the decision to cheat on the wife. I don't think it should be separated from the relationship with the kids. He cheated on basically the whole family. Destroyed the family because of his actions. So the mother telling the kids, you know, why they broke up and then explaining that she doesn't want them to go see him because of those reasons, I think is completely... But, John, I can almost hear the writer of the email screaming out as you were saying that. No, no, he didn't ruin my relationship with him. In fact, I still love my dad. No, it ruined the mom. Let's be clear. You're right. You're right. He broke up the dynamic. He broke up the dynamic, and I'll give you that. And I do think.

1:30:52You are a good role model for your children. I have no problem with you spending time with your children. John, let me ask you this. Just leaving the relationship like that and causing the destruction that a divorce does to a family, I wouldn't want my kids anywhere near them. Well, let me say this. Let's say I agree with everything you said, but I want to pose this question to you, John. How do you reconcile if your child wants a relationship with your cheating spouse? How do you reconcile saying no? Because that's what you're condoning. story and not disowning the children if they choose to have a relationship with their dad. But I have no problem with her. You guys had mentioned that you shouldn't, you know, she shouldn't have told the children, you know, what he did and they should let him make their own decision. And I'm fine with letting them make their own decision. But I think the mother is completely justified in explaining why she's pissed at the dad.

1:31:48And why she would prefer the podcast. Yeah, and John, to be clear, I never said that. I didn't think that. No one ever said. It was a caller. It was a caller. The caller did. I think that if the kids ask. That's a personal choice, I think, of how you want to explain what happened, why there's a divorce or a separation or whatever. But I think. That the dynamic is ruined. The relationship between the mother and the father is now ruined as husband and wife. So why now have the kids suffer and say now you suffer more every day because you don't get to have a father figure in your life? I agree. I also will say this is not one of those deals where everybody gets to decide what they want and just get it. Right. You know? Yeah. I mean, kids need two parents, man. They do. You ever see a guy that grows up without a mom or a dad? They're a different kid. They just are. For the most part. He'll regret it, too. I mean, I've seen this sort of scenario play out where they follow their parents' wishes and they stop a relationship with a particular relative. And then years go by and they think, wait a minute. That's an unreasonable request that my mom's asking me to do. And now I've just...

1:33:04potentially sabotage your relationship. I've lost years. And then you start to resent your mom. I was just going to say, then you start to resent your mom for taking that figure away. Thanks, Mom. I never got to go to a ball game with Dad. You know what I mean? A lot of times, man, when parents pass away and things like that, you find a lot of kids kicking themselves for the things that they didn't do. In my humble opinion, I think that two parents are better than one. Their relationship didn't work out. That sucks, man. That's terrible. But to have a relationship with your mom and your dad is not a bad thing. Yeah. And his relationship with his dad should not now suffer for the rest of his life because of the stupid mistake that his dad made. Absolutely. I agree. If you have to take your kids to the doctor for anything, doctors are saying, look, if your kids are symptomatic, if your kids are sick, you're bringing them in, they're coughing, they're sneezing. First thing you need to ask your doctor about right now, especially here in San Diego County, and this is from the San Diego Union Tribune. Whooping cough first. Yeah. Boom. Period. That's it. If your kids are sick and they're coughing and they're sneezing and whatever, and you take them into the doctor, make sure you heard the Mikey show that you say to the pediatrician first, hey, I heard on the Mikey show that...

1:34:24The San Diego Union Tribune is suggesting that we look at whooping cough first. What can you tell me, Mr. Pediatrician? Yeah. It's the first thing you do. Just want to let you know that. It's a bummer when you take your infant into the doctor because they always take their clothes off and put them naked in a little steel wear to weigh them. And the kids hate it. Yeah. Sure. My niece. peed in it. So do my boys. So scared. They pee in it. I guess it's not funny, but it's pretty funny. It is. They get so scared. You know, the good news is with infant kids like that, and this is what I had to start telling myself, they won't remember this. They won't remember this. They won't remember this. No, they won't. Absolutely. I don't remember any of that. I don't either. That time you put me in that steel bassinet and I peed myself. That's right. Bassinet. Right? Let's play some MIDI Madness. And we got somebody on the phone right now, M1 Brad from Fallbrook. You there, Brad? Yes, I am. How you doing, Mikey? I'm good. Your kid actually had it, right? Yeah, my baby. Oh, boy. Yeah, my baby got like about a month and a half ago. Wow. Yeah, and he's only 10 months. Oh, man. Is he okay? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's doing a lot better now. I guess we took the antibiotic so that I guess that makes him so he's not contagious, but he still had to go through the whole thing.

1:35:46It was pretty scary a couple of nights. Well, I'm glad he's better and that he's doing good. No kidding. Did they diagnose it right away? I guess the test takes like two weeks, but they started the treatment like right away. Right. That's what the article is saying. Treat it as if it's whooping cough and then... It's like shoot first, ask questions later. Exactly. Because the symptoms will show up sometimes a little too late. Yep. Yeah, exactly. And then after they diagnosed them, they had all of the rest of my family, because I have two other kids, and my wife and I, we all had to take the antibiotics, too, so none of us would be contagious. There you go. Hey, thanks for the call, man. I appreciate it. 570-1949. You want to play Midi Madness? What do we have as a prize, Jay? I'm going to give you a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego Zoo. Very nice. Yeah. So call us right now, 570-1949. Midi Madness. Midi. is a really terrible, old, early 80s-sounding computerized keyboard. M-I-D-I. M-I-D-I. I mean, it's terrible, terrible. And what you're going to do is you're going to listen to big, popular, famous songs. We're going to play you 30 seconds of a big, popular, famous song. Could be new, could be old. And all you have to do is give me title or artist. What is it? It's hard, though, because you're listening to a terrible...

1:37:07computerized keyboard playing that song. So you have to try to figure it out based on that. 570-1949. Give me a call right now and try to do this. We got M1 Steve from Old Town. You there? Yep. Alright, you ready to play this? Oh, okay, yeah. Real quickly, it's very easy. All you're doing is you're going to be listening to this song and give me title or artist after 30 seconds who it is. You can give me the name of the song or the artist, okay? All right, here we go. Can you give me a title or artist? I just need the name of the song or the artist that does it. Yeah. That is correct, buddy. That was 311. Sounds a little bit different done on MIDI, don't you? Yeah. Hang on the line, buddy. You're a winner. Some old guy's mom's basement in his MIDI. That's right. I never did it. I don't know how they do it. I don't either. I think it takes a long time, or it did. M1 Denise from San Diego. You ready to play? Yes. Okay, title or artist to win. Here we go. All I need is the name of the song or the band that does it. I have no idea. Oh, no. Come on. That was Blue Oyster Cult. Don't fear the Reaper. Yeah. We'll do one more when we come back. So we'll take a quick timeout.

1:39:32Do one more when we come back if you want to play 570-1949. All right, so here's the other deal. Everybody in the world probably remembers this very iconic scene. Yesterday, Joe Montana, who was on the same team with Rudy, by the way, so was Woodsy's dad. Hey! Woodsy's dad played at Notre Dame with Rudy. And so when we come back, we're going to tell you what I already knew, courtesy of Woodsy's dad. But Joe Montana told the world yesterday, hope you don't get your feelings hurt. It's next. Sienna, our news girl, is out on maternity leave. We miss her a lot. We do. I'm Mikey, the host of the show. That's Woodsy, our sports guy. That's Lauren O'Brien, our assistant producer. Sienna's gone on maternity leave. Jay's our producer. Word of the day is rascal. You're listening for it.

1:41:16When you hear the word rascal worked into a sentence, what you want to do is be caller 9 at 570-1949. And caller number 9 will win a San Diego prize pack. It's a four-pack of tickets to the zoo, four-pack of tickets to Legoland. It's over $500 value. It's pretty awesome. I want to do one more Mitty Madness while we have the time. M1 Melinda from Escondido. So, how you doing? Good. How are you? On my commute to school, but... Nice. Play a game or try to. There you go. Where do you go to school? In National City, a dental hygiene school. Okay. Now let's see. I'm going to ask you, because I want to give you this prize, and so I'm going to ask you, would you do better with pop music from the early 90s or pop music from the late 90s? Early 90s, whatever my mom was listening to. Okay, cool. Are you ready? Yeah. I'm going to give you 30 seconds of this. And after 30 seconds, I need title or artist in order for you to win. Here we go. I guess it sounds something like Madonna, potentially. I'm guessing. Hold on. Yeah, I'm going to let you keep listening. Do you want to take the same guess? It sounds, yeah, I don't know, guys. I'm just going to guess. I've never been good at this type of thing. You should relax and think about it. It's got to be Madonna, something like that. That's incorrect.

1:43:09Frankie goes to Hollywood. Relax. Sorry about that, Melinda. So, the movie Rudy. I've never seen it. Come on now! It's my first DVD I ever bought. Really? Every time. I am a girl. That's one of the number one guy cry movies ever. So good. Ever. Joe Montana. Drafted by the 49ers in the third round. Used to be a fight in Irish. He was an Irish. The pride of South Bend, my friend. That's right. Doesn't get much better than that guy. Well, he played on the same team with Rudy. Yep. So did Woodsy's dad. Yep. That I did not know. Played at Notre Dame. Did you not? I knew that your dad went to Notre Dame. My dad walked on his freshman and his senior year. Wow. Didn't play much. Sorry, Dad. I love you.

1:44:15Well, here was Joe Montana yesterday on the Dan Patrick Show. Listen to what he said. Were you there when Rudy was there? Yeah. I don't remember. Not all that's true. Well, what wasn't true? Well, the crowd wasn't chanting. Nobody threw in their jerseys. You know, he did get in the game. He got carried off the game. And really, he... Back then, they tried to play someone at the end that everyone, all the seniors could get in at the last home game. So the schedule kind of was set that way. So he got in, he did get a sack, and then the guys just carried him off kind of playing around. I won't say it's a joke, but just playing around. Wow. But, you know, he worked his butt off to get where he was and to do the things he did. But not any harder than anybody else. Oh, wow. You're ruining it. for me here. I bought in that you guys were turning in your jerseys and this was emotional and Rudy was your spiritual rallying cry. What's in your coffee this morning? Wow! You know what? Joe Montana's probably just bitter that he wasn't mentioned in the movie. Played by some young buck. Well, I don't know. If I'm reading between the lines, it sounds to me like the whole carrying him off the field thing was

1:45:41Kind of funny. Yeah. My dad told me this years ago that he was kind of a dork. Yeah. Kind of a dork. Is he a dork in the movie? He's not a dork. I mean, dude, when you watch the movie, you're like, come on, man. Get it, buddy. Come on. And the way they portray him in practice is just this, the guy wouldn't stop. Tenacious. Tenacious and little and short. Shorter than you even. He would go out there and he was hitting guys hard and really helping them prepare week to week. Well, my brother went to Notre Dame in the mid-90s, I guess you would call that period. He was actually a small little speck in the movie because they filmed that scene during a halftime game of an actual Notre Dame game. Really? And he was in the student section. Yeah, and he said that Rudy, as of the mid-90s, Still hanging around Notre Dame wearing his Letterman's jacket. Really? Glory days are real good. Trying to shop his movie for years. Trying to shop his story. Hitting on young college co-eds. Oh, you can't blame me on that. I love it. You guys know who I am? I'm Rudy. Crazy. Yeah. I knew this years ago, but let yourself just get engrossed in the story, and it's a great story. It's a Hollywood...

1:47:02It's Hollywood. It's so Hollywood. No point in me seeing it now. P.S. I just heard it's all phony. None of it's real. You should. I do. The movie Invincible. Have you seen that? No. Yeah. That's Vince Papale, who I also know I used to work with him. Sally Mae. That is almost mostly a true story. Almost mostly? Almost mostly? I don't know. That don't sound like that's mostly. It's more closely related. Invincible. It's a football movie. It's great. Amazing. It's great. Come on, dude. Is it real or is it a bit? It's really, like, gritty. It's gritty. Sorry it's not Swamp Creatures, dude. Hey, at least Swamp Creatures is real. Kings of the Jungle. Unlike Rudy, it's real. It's a big fake movie. It's real. Fake bit. I can't believe you've never seen. Oh, what's that speech? We're going to go out there. We're going to get him. Yeah, that's Newt Rockne from years and years ago. I wonder if Newt really said that. He did. He did, but it wasn't. Yeah. He did. Just stop talking about Notre Dame, dude. Don't worry about it. I used to wear, my brother had a Letterman's jacket from Notre Dame. So I used to wear that when he came back from school. I'd wear that and be like, Rudy, Rudy. Leonard Padilla is the most prolific bounty hunter in the world. He's going to be on the show here pretty soon. He is the best bounty hunter alive. If you don't believe me, just ask him. He's more than willing to tell you.

1:48:26On the documentary that I saw about Leonard Padilla, he had no problem telling the world how great he is. Wow. He said that that's one of the things that people hate about him is that he's very cocky. Tells everybody how great he is. That's not one of my, I don't like that quality. He's a peacock. Yeah, I don't mind if it's a bit, you know. Woodsy kind of does it as a bit, and it's funny. Yeah, you do it as a bit, and it's funny. Right? No, I mean, I don't think that you do it genuinely, right? If you do, I'm... No. He does not do it genuinely. No, come on. I'm, like, fat and pale and chubby and, like, an idiot. No, you're not. Bad with money. You're a good father to those little doggies. I am a good father to those little doggies. Even though you laid the hammer down on Senior Beans. I know, dude. It's true. Something's going on. What do you do? Are you peeing in the house yesterday? Well... Yorkies yeah Yorkies in a lab He's marking his territory he On the other animal yeah, he considers Jamie he considers Jamie his territory he follows your wife is his territory he follows her around dude like a shadow and She walked over the couch lucky was there and he walked up to lucky and you know That's really bizarre behavior. Yeah, what'd you do Jamie?

1:49:52Spanked him real good. Seems like you were about to form a word with a B. Jamie spanked him. She's going to say spanked him. She beat his butt. Beat his butt. She did beat his butt. Mama Yemi throwing down the hammer. Mama Yemi got after you yesterday. She got you good, didn't she? There he is. Yeah, Poppy, where were you? Why don't you help me? I was at work. I've got what's called a full-time job. Do you? Don't I? You call. Going in at 6 o'clock in the morning. 6 o'clock? I leave the house at 3.45. Playing games. Yeah, talkie-talkie. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. A lot of yolks. A lot of yolks. It's so hard, huh? Papi. Oh, my goodness, Papi. When you come home today, should I draw a bath for you? Oh, wow. Hey, Papi. Should I get... Some lotion for your hands. You're getting really combative these days, Senior Beans. Well, you know, man, I'm listening today, and I just want to say, I don't really think I appreciate the fact that you go on the air and just willy-nilly say this inflammatory comment about me. Did you or did you not? I was not marking my territory.

1:51:20As you say, papi, I was not doing that. What were you doing? I have a shallow bladder. You're a tiny little guy. I have a resistant bladder. I have a very volatile bladder. Great. You need to get me some undergarment. A little diaper? A little pull-up? That was the problem. That's not going to do much for your street cred, though. No. And my street cred is fine, Norwegian. Okay? By the way, I like the fact that you have Mexican hair now. I know. Trying to fit in a little more. Are you trying to be Mexican? Why not? Why not, right? Yeah. Why don't you take a lesson from that, papi? Instead of every day going on to the earth. Oh, senior beans poop on this. Oh, senior bean peeps on this.

1:52:20At least I'm not like the Labrador. Oh, I know. He get into the garbage. He get into Poppy's pickup. Oh, really? He put all kinds of drinks all over the floor. All kinds of shrimps. Shrimp? Shrimp tails everywhere. Knock the whole garbage can over. Shooter did that? Shooter did. I don't do any of that. But you don't hear any talk about Shooter. That's true. You don't hear any talk about that. No, no, no. The yolks are all about me. But you're our superstar, Senior Beans. Yeah, you don't have to make fun of me. Why don't you talk about my good quality? I love you. You know that. Lots of good quality. You know daddy loves you very much. Yeah, well, daddy, you love me. Maybe you start to tell good stories. Why don't you tell everybody how I say babies from the burning building? Why don't you tell everybody? You never did that. What if I do and you don't know? Then I'll tell it. Hey, puppies, why don't you go on the radio and tell everybody? You don't burn those CDs to play on the radio. Senior Beans picks everything. Oh, no way. The Senior Beans like the wigs. Really? The Senior Beans pick the food. Wow. The Senior Beans know all of the cool music. And then Papi go, oh, Beans, you're going to pick the music? Oh, sure. No problem, Papi. I do your job. I did not know that. I guess the cat's out of the bag. Yeah, I have to go.

1:53:45I have some things to reconsider. Do you? All right, how about if I bring you some treats today? What are we talking about? I'll bring bacon. You are a bad man. I'll rub, I'll scratch your belly when I go home too. I love you. I love you too. You're a bad man. He's a good boy, but he's a handful. He's getting a little bit. Well, he's literally a handful, but he's turning into a pain in the butt. All right, so on the phone with me right now, let's see. Is this Leonard Padilla? How are you? Good morning, Leonard. How are you? Fine, real good. Leonard, I saw your documentary on the National Geographic channel. Okay. And I was riveted. I was riveted. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. Because I had no idea what it took. to bring these guys back into police custody. In case you didn't know, Leonard Padilla is a bounty hunter. He says that he's the most prolific bounty hunter in the world. Is that right, Leonard? That's correct. Probably the only individual in the world actively working today that makes a living 100% off of bounty hunting. A lot of individuals moonlight bounty hunting. They're security guards during the week. They're bail agents, bail bondsmen.

1:55:17But that I know of right now in the industry, I'm the only one that's 100% bounty hunter. Now, that's not to say that I don't have an individual like Rob, a bounty hunting instructor that works with me full time. He used to be your competitor. Is that right? Well, no. Rob started working for me back in 94. He was a deputy sheriff for seven years. Then he went to work with me. And then him and another bailee that worked for my son put together an operation. But it didn't. It didn't function too well. It didn't last. And he came back to work with me. He doesn't work for me. He works with me. Okay. Now, let me ask you, Leonard. And there's, like I say, a bounty hunting school that he operates that I'm 100% also a training school that operates. Leonard, can I ask you a question? Sure. At this moment, are you wearing dark glasses, a cowboy hat, and have a toothpick in your mouth? Wow. That is fantastic.

1:56:23Yes, I am. Leonard, how do you know that you are the most prolific bounty hunter in the world? It doesn't have that many people in it. In the state of California, there's 2,000 Bailey. And in California, you have 185 days to bring an individual back after he fails to hear. Plus, you can extend it by six months at the quarter. When these things happen, much like last night in the fax machine, comes a file on an individual. failed to appear 16th to be caught. In other words, this is an individual that's been on America's Most Wanted at one time. He was caught there, bail on a bail agent out of Marin County. And so what happens when an individual, the surety is about to pay off their bond, it's a $10,000 bond. They've got six days left. They come to me and they offer me $4,000 if I bring this guy back into custody, which is 40%. Yeah. Now, as far as being prolific, we only get what the industry calls the impossibles or the top.

1:57:39By the numbers, in other words, physically catching more individual skips than other people do, we don't do that anymore because we kind of focus on the ones that other people can't catch. Okay, the tough ones. Okay, so Leonard, let me ask you. For instance, this one that you just got across at Fax Machine, this guy was on America's Most Wanted. He's been featured on that. He is obviously somebody that is a tough case. Where do you start to find him? Let me see. I've got 54 pages. And what I have to do is I have to read this material here to see where he was bonded, why he was bonded, what his background is, and to that nature. And I come up with all sorts of things on this guy as far as where he's been, where he's lived. The bad thing about it, we have in America a situation somewhat like France is looking at right now. How's that? It's called gypsies. What's that?

1:58:42What is it? Gypsies meaning like real gypsies? They just float around? Real gypsies. A group of people that migrated from Eastern Europe as well as Scotland and areas of that nature. There's Scottish gypsies as well as Romanian, Armenian. Are these the people you're looking for? Gypsies? This one individual happens to be a gypsy. His name is Anthony Quick. How are you going to find Anthony Quick if he's a gypsy? It's not easy. It's like saying, I'm going to find a genie. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, where do you start? Searching for the invisible man. Yeah, I'm searching for the invisible man. I'm telling you, looking for a gypsy is a real test of a person's ability to find somebody. It's like you never get told the truth by anybody. The Klan members are all very hush-hush. They're all very non-forthcoming. And this individual has addresses of Hollywood, Florida, San Diego. Beverly Hills, Quentin. I hope that's not him on the other line. You're not going to catch me. Leonard, let me ask you this. You know, you guys carry weapons with you. Yes. I mean, what's the hairiest it ever got for you? One Sunday morning, I'm looking for a guy that was wanted, attempted murder out of Long Beach, California. And I'm going home from church with my wife and my three kids. This was back in... And I'm driving along, and I thought,

2:00:17Well, I'm going to swing by this guy's. See, sometimes might come up and visit them. I go by there, and I happen to see a car that he's supposed to be driving. And this is pre-cell phone. So I go to the house. I think I sues Martinus. At the same time, my young son says, hey, he's going down to the house. I'm going to be at the back. I get out. It's raining. About 9.30. I see a guy with a jacket pulled over his head coming down. I'm packing a gun. The time he comes up, he's got it aimed at me from right away. Holy cow. I'm between. The van and him. And I know that that's where he goes through me and go into the van. Oh, wow. I hear my kid in there saying, get down. He's got a gun. Get down. The only thing I was able to say was, kill me. The cops are on the way. You could hear the sirens. At that time, a private happens to come around the corner. Guy takes one look at him. Back into the neighborhood. The cordon's off the area. Immediately, they've got canine dogs and everything. And I thought, wow, these guys really, unbeknownst to me, that morning they were having a training session for canines.

2:02:03So I had the ability to draw on their sources. And that was they had a bunch of dogs. And an hour later, they dug the guy out from under. And that was it. But I'd say that that's probably the dumbest thing I've done in the business by jumping out. And, I mean, I just didn't believe. know this guy's walking down the sidewalk right a hoodie pulled over him and he flips it back and he's got a 45 and it's him that's right leonard padilla is the most prolific bounty hunter in the world he's a focus of a documentary on the national geographic channel about bounty hunting and it's fascinating it's gritty it's bloody it's uh it's pretty crazy and uh leonard we appreciate you coming on the show and telling us about your job uh thank you very much for coming on Yeah, yeah, he could be here. He could be here in San Diego. If you're listening, Anthony, give Leonard Padilla a call before he calls you. There you go. Thank you, Leonard. We appreciate you. Thank you very much. We'll see you. The law enforcement people that are sworn officers and all that, officers of the state, the county, they've got a different set of rules. I don't. I'm a bounty hunter. I'm not employed by the state, not employed by the government. I don't have those rules that tie me up. Absolutely not.

2:03:23You will not believe what Morrissey called Chinese people. You will not believe this. And then you're going to ask yourself, why did he do that? What world? What possible? We'll tell you what he said next. The white women at. I heard you. Welcome back. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is the Mars Volta. Deloused in the comatorium is the name of the album. Word of the day is rascal. When you hear me work that into a sentence, call a 9570-1949. We'll win a $500 value San Diego prize pack, which is four tickets to the zoo and four tickets to Legoland. Pretty cool. Okay, so before we went to break, I said that Morrissey said something about the people of China. He called them a subspecies because of the way that they treat animals.

2:04:58And he is standing by those comments. Wow. Let's see. Did you see the thing on the news about their treatment of animals and animal welfare? Absolutely horrific. You can't help but feel that the Chinese are a sub species, he said. I thought at the time it was a dangerous thing to say into a tape recorder. He must have known it would make waves. He's not daft. You don't hear very many people calling others daft these days. That's a great word. But he's provocative and theatrical, and it was one of dozens of dramatic pronouncements. I'm not an apologist for that kind of remark and couldn't ignore it. Apologist? Mm-hmm. Wow. If anyone has seen the horrific and unwatchable footage of the Chinese cat and dog trade, animals being skinned, then they... not possibly argue in favor of China as a caring nation. There are no animal protection laws in China, and this results in the worst animal abuse and cruelty on the planet. It's indefensible, is what he said. The Chinese are a subspecies. Yeah, Morrissey, that is a ridiculous thing to say, crying out loud. What do you think, people?

2:06:19are going to think about your comments. Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care. How are you feeling right now? I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour. Heaven knows I'm miserable now. You getting out tonight by any chance? I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear. If you decide that you're going to go out, where are you going to go? And can I go with you? And what will we do if we go out? There's a club if you'd like to go. You could meet somebody who really loves you. I heard there was something wrong with your girlfriend. What's the deal with it? Girlfriend in a coma. I know, I know. It's cereal. Last question, Morrissey. When you pass gas, is there anything that you say before you do? Stop me. Oh, stop me. Stop me if you think that you heard this one before.

2:07:26Oh, my gosh. Wow, Morrissey. That is a strange thing to say. I'm hiking. Before passing gas. That is such a strange thing to say. Oh, no. This is not good. Guess who's on the phone. Senior Beans again? No, it's not Senior Beans. Oh, Captain Buzzkill. Yeah, it's Captain Buzzkill. And I'm really, really angry at Woods. Why? How can you possibly go on the air and in any way call into question the integrity of an artist like Morrissey who has made such a contribution to the world of music and for you to go on and say something like you just said. I don't think he was really serious about it though, Buzzkill. Do you?

2:08:26Yes, I do. Are you crying, Captain Buskill? I'm not crying. I'm not a Sally. Look, BK, you're... It's not BK, it's Buskill. You don't know me that way. Buskill's just one word. Buskill's just one word. It's I... First of all, let me clarify. This is a comedy show. You know what? How do you think Mikey's gonna feel? Because he's a Latino. What? What does one have to do with... Oh. Because Morrissey is very popular among Latino nation or whatever. That's true. Yeah. Do you hear about this? It's a well-known fact. The Latino community loves Morrissey and the Smiths. I've never heard of the Latino nation, though. What is that? I think that's what you call your listeners. Aren't your listeners Mexican one? No. No. It means Mikey. M1, yeah. I think he knows exactly what an M1 is. I think Captain Buzzkill listens four hours a day. I never listen. Yeah. I never listen. You're always right on the hot button to give us a call. How do you know? Because I get calls from my friends that say, oh, turn it on 949. And I'm like, I haven't listened to that station since they played music in the morning. And they go, well, why don't you put it on? And I go, no, I refuse. That's the marketing show.

2:09:42I think you know exactly what it's called. No, I don't. I'm listening to Roger Hedgecock. I think you have a time spent listening of four hours a day. That's not true. And then I think you podcast in the evenings in your mom's basement. Just to make sure you didn't miss anything. Mother doesn't let me have a computer in the house. I wonder why. Don't try to skirt the issue. Get back to Morrissey. I will get back to Morrissey. Love the Smiths and I love Morrissey my favorite bands of all time Because I can imitate his voice a little bit Alternative music. Listen, BK, you need to lighten up just a little bit. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. That's right. I need to lighten up. Oh, you're so fat, Buzzkill. Did I say you were fat? Walk around the back or something. Once you get out of the house, put down World of Warcraft and go out there and enjoy the beautiful San Diego weather. First of all, it's Halo. And second of all...

2:11:04My sweats are done in the dryer. Goodbye. Bye. Really? Takes everything to heart, doesn't he? Wow. He is right there to call in. He's like Wyatt Earp with a six-shooter. He's got us on speed dial. He is right there to say that we did it wrong. Does he have a hotline number? I think, man. I mean, that guy gets through every time. Jay lets him through. He spit water every time. Look at that. That was the third day in a row. I saw it. Listen to this. This is Kobe Bryant singing. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't sing about basketball. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't Kobe Bryant singing. Sounds like Will Smith. It does. That's freaking terrible. Did he say all I did is actresses? Isn't he married to some random girl? Who's this?

2:12:33In the eyes of a ranger, the unsuspecting stranger. Chuck Norris. You better know the truth of wrong from right. Wow. No way. Yeah. Woodsy. Chuck Norris. Oh wow, that's bad. Any home you do, he's gonna see. You're in Texas, look behind you. Wow. That's terrible. That's terrible. Who's this? Too close to paradise. And too close. Team Gum. It's a new Edward chart. Wow. It's a new use. Morrissey. Sylvester Stallone. What? I got to hear it again. Wow. Is that a joke? I don't think he was kidding.

2:13:35Oh, my God. He looks like he should be wearing a studded, or he sounds like he should be wearing a studded jumpsuit. Yeah. Why? He's trying to be Barry Manilow. I was trying to figure out what the genre was. I think that's what he's going for. That's a big insult to Barry Manilow. I know. Who's this? Unforgettable in every way. That's how you stay. Jackie Chan. Wow. You're good. Oh, my darling. Oh, my darling. It's incredible that somehow you're unforgettable. That's who I am. I'm unforgettable.

2:14:45True. Jackie, is that you? That is me. That is me. That is me. It's incredible. There's someone so unfair. Wow. Why can I not get enough of Jackie Chan singing Unforgettable? So good. Who can? I want him to do it with Natalie Cole. Yes. I want him to be superimposed on a screen. And she's doing like her dad was. And she's singing to Jackie Chan. Yeah. And she sings it when she does the duet with him. She goes, Unforgettable. I picture her more of like, I picture her more of looking behind her like, what the hell is that? Unforgettable too. Who's this?

2:15:55Carl Lewis How about this come together James Earl Jones Holy Roller, he got hair down his knees. To be a joker, he just do what he please. Mickey Rourke. The Cookie Monster. Good hint. Robin Williams. Oh, really? Oh, now I hear it. Is he kidding? I picture him going like this while I did it.

2:17:25No, he's serious too. In fact, he's singing that with Bobby McFerrin. Really? That's some street crap. By the way, well, I've heard that Bobby McFerrin, that the big joke was Don't Worry, Be Happy, but that that was a novelty record for Bobby McFerrin and that dude actually is a real good musician. Oh, really? That's what I've heard. That he's like real solid. I've heard the same. Yeah, but that he did this one stupid song. Yeah. Don't Worry, Be Happy became a hit, and it kind of sucks for him because he's actually pretty good. Like, yeah. I could listen, I think, to celebrities singing for four hours straight. It's the greatest. I don't know if you guys heard about this. The husband accusing his wife of faking terminal cancer to get a free wedding. I'll explain next. Oh, I forgot I had the new number ones up. Let's see what's hot in the country right now.

2:19:06Number one song in the country right now. This is the number one song in the country. Sounds like a hermaphrodite. What? How? Is that a dude or a girl? Katy Perry. I know it's the Katy Perry song, but is it like warped a little bit? No, it's not. She's got Kermit the Frog in her throat. That's her bit. I know. I haven't heard this. It's not very catchy yet. It's not, and the video is... Horrible. What does she mean when she says, let's go all the way tonight? I think what she means is that she lives in Bakersfield, wants to go all the way to San Diego, and she's like, well, do we stop, though? Do we stop in Los Angeles? No, let's go all the way tonight. How about we be skanky tonight, is what she's saying. That's what she's saying to eight-year-olds. Maybe she's married to the guy that she's going to go all the way with.

2:20:23She's getting engaged to that dude. Maybe she sings that in 42 years then. Her last video, the California Girls one, it looks like a Candyland porno. It does? It really does. That makes my mouth water. And then this video, it's like your typical, like, hey, we're in California in a convertible. It's like weird. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, what? Yeah, Katy Perry. Her and Lady Gaga. The new scourge of the Mikey show. No. Oh! Her and Lady Gaga just being weird together. Sitting around. I think, actually, I read the same Lady Gaga article that you talked about, and Katy Perry does not like Lady Gaga. Really? She'd be sitting around sucking each other's blood. She thinks she's skanky. Really? Yeah. Hey, Pot. Hey, Pot, it's me, the kettle. How are you? Are you black, too? I do. I'll get them hot. Show them what I've got. It's Ving Rhames calling Vijay Singh going, you're black, man. Yeah, you're black, dude. I just want you to know that. I do think Katy Perry is hot. She's hot. Like, she's attractive. She is. Lady Gaga is not.

2:21:45I didn't think she was hot in person. I met her over at the other station. She was not hot in person. Really? Yeah. Katy Perry? No, not in person. How does that work? I don't know. Why do people not look ugly on TV? My brother hung out with her and thought she was really hot and thought she smelled good. That was his observation. So how was it? Sort of strippers. She was good looking. She smelled real good. Sold. Yeah. I like when girl smells cold. I love it. I don't like it too strong, but I like nice, you know, summery thing. Summery scent. All the way in. Right? You rascal. FM 94.9's 8th anniversary bash, by the way. That's going to be good. November 13th, Saturday night. Okay, here's the deal. Tickets go on sale Friday, right? Now, you can get them at FM949SD.com, but it's New Politics, Night Marchers, and The Holds Steady, going on at 4th and B, killer place to see a show. So I just want you to know that. I am bummed. I will miss it. I'll be out of town. You're going out of town. I'm flying across the country. It'll be my first cross-country trip. Yep. Charleston. Oh, yeah. Good luck with that. Wedding. I'm sure that'll be nice in September.

2:23:16It will be. It's actually in November. Oh, it's in November. It's in November, yeah. And I'll be probably really refreshed and on point Monday morning. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to take, like, a little, like, three trains, planes, automobiles to get there. It's going to be terrible. Sorry, Mikey. You're already giving me heartburn. Sorry, Mikey. He's going to have heartburn for two months now. NFL starts tonight. Yes, it does. Week one tonight. How about that? Cannot wait. Let's see. Hey, M1 Scott, you there? Yeah, sure am. What was the word of the day? It was rascal. That is right. I got it today, finally. You heard me use the word rascal in a sentence, and you were caller number nine. You got a over $500 value San Diego prize pack, dude. Awesome. Thank you so much. You are welcome. Hang on the line, please. I forget that I'm the guy that has to impart the news stories. And so I see something on here, and I'm like, oh.

2:24:16I have to give the plan out. Maybe Santa comes back to work. I know it. You guys. Santa, if you're listening, you know, love you. Do you want to come back or anything? Anytime. Your seat is here. Your mic's ready. Ready to go. It's so lonely in that corner. So listen to this. Hot knockers. Just a few months. Every time. After some strangers helped put on a wedding for a young bride in Westchester County. Because she said, by the way, that she was dying of cancer, the groom's accusing her of lying, and he wants a divorce. Whoa, really? Yeah. Jessica Vega. Her dying wish was for a dream wedding. And so she got a lot of support. Strangers started offering to pay for everything. Her wedding dress, flowers. They got her a honeymoon in Aruba. How about that?

2:25:15With the guy that's now calling her a liar? Yes. With her husband. How did that happen? He says she faked the diagnosis to get people to feel sorry for her, scam them. And according to this newspaper article, he says, I thought she was dying and my goal was to give her everything she wanted before she did. Now I want to see the truth come out. If that means her going to jail, then let her pay for what she did. Meanwhile, she believes that she was just misdiagnosed. And she's obviously gotten healthier. Wouldn't he just be happy that she's not dying? It just seems like he had some sort of motivation to be like, yeah, hurry up and die. I wouldn't be just happy. I would think that she was a phony. But wouldn't he know that she was lying? I don't know. People in love, love is blind.

2:26:17Yeah, I mean, if you're, you know, lover. They have a kid together. They have a kid together, too. Yeah, but if your spouse comes home and says, I just went to the doctor. You don't think that. You're going to be like, show me the documentation. No, no, no, but don't you think, like, God forbid, in a fake scenario. You got this kind of news. Rebecca would want to talk to all your doctors and know, okay, what can we do? What? Really? She wouldn't say, I need to see your doctors. No, no, no. Not for proof, but for, okay, what can we do to make him comfortable? And I would say this. I would go, I'm an appointment on Wednesday the 23rd, and yeah, I want to ask all those questions. You be a wife. Let's play this out. Okay. Yeah, you know, I've already told you I got cancer and everything. Yeah. So I'm just, I just feel so terrible. Now I know why I haven't been feeling well. Oh, so what did the doctor say then? How bad is it? He said it's terminal. He said that it's six months to a year. Terminal means you're going to die. I'm going to die. Six months to a year I have. Oh, my gosh. I know. So I don't know, you know. Well, what? First of all, I think we should, I don't know how you feel about this, but I think that we should spend money because.

2:27:35I don't have any time left. What am I? I can't take it with me. So there's no treatment options. He's saying that that's it. That's the final. No, no. I don't believe that. Definitely treatment options. No, no, no. There is treatment options. Okay. He's going to put me on some medication. Okay. And I have to get some chemo. Okay. And I'm going to start that I think in a couple of weeks. All right. Well, let's do everything that we can. For sure. Let's follow all of these guidelines. For sure. And. I don't know. Let's see if there's any way to fight this. Yeah, that's what I want to do. Well, I'm going to see the doctor in a couple of weeks. I'm going with you. We're in this together. No, babe. We're getting married. I feel weird. Why do you feel weird? I'm going to be your wife. Because I just would feel so strange like it's mommy coming into the... No, it's not mommy. We're together now. These decisions are as one. I just feel so uncomfortable with that. You don't worry about it. I'm here for you. I'm going to take care of you for all of this. I don't really have cancer. What? Yeah. We said last night, Woodsy and I were having dinner, and I said, L.O.B. is a detective, and you can't get anything by her. Because we were talking about men. Oh, you know what we were talking about? We were talking about how our women.

2:28:53But in the past, you used to ask questions. Yeah. Both of our both of our wives. I used to call Jamie the Riddler and Mikey used to get riddled when we were both younger and probably not as morally strong. Right. As we are now. Yeah. Yeah. And so it used to be, you know, the grand inquisition for everything. Now, I guarantee last night at dinner, Jamie was giggling during this conversation because Jamie. You could tell was like, yeah, it's true. I did, you know, pepper him with questions. I can guarantee you my wife would be like, what? I didn't. What? He did a reenactment. And it was brilliant. Yeah, because Woods goes, well, like what? Like, what was it like? And I go, I go, you be me and I'll be Rebecca. Yeah. And I go. You just came back from seeing your friend Nick at Nick's house. Yeah. Hey, hon, how was Nick's? I was good. Good. How is he? He's fine. Really? Yeah. What's he doing now? He's working, you know, working. Got the new house. Wanted to go over there and see him. Really? Where does he live now? He's in Rancho Bernardo now. Really? Yeah. What park? Like where? Right off the 15.

2:30:14Really? Is it nice? Yeah, it's nice. It's a nice place. Like what? What's it like? It's a three-bedroom office. It's solid. Really? Yeah, it's a solid place. Is he doing good? Is he working? Yeah, I told you that already. He's working. Sounds like he's doing good. He's doing pretty good. What's he doing? Working. Marketing. Marketing? Yeah. Really? Nick? Yeah, Nick. Where? Where at? It's an internet company. Which one? You know, Samantha works at an internet company. I wonder if it's the same one. It could be. Which one? Oh, boy, what is that? I can't remember. Really? I can't remember, yeah. What time? Oh, that's cool. You want to get something to eat? Or did you already eat? Did you and Nick eat? We ate, yeah, over at his place. You did? Yeah. Woods is so uncomfortable. Yeah, we ate over there. What'd you guys have? Burgers. So we don't have the same thing. Burgers. Really? Yep. You did? Yeah. You had burgers. Burgers. And what else? Are you sleeping with someone? I slept with another woman. That's what I did. I go, I'm having sex with someone? This is how it goes. I go, I was being Rebecca, and I go, what's the place that he's working at?

2:31:28And Woods goes, and I go, that's where you just go, I don't know where he's working, so I'm clearly sleeping with someone. And then I said, and I go, how good do you think L.O.B. is at that bit? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Women like to visualize. We do. That's why we like to ask a lot of questions. And, like, my sister was saying yesterday, my little brother had his dog. He's got a puppy. My sister said, oh, yeah, did he have his first round of shots and stuff like that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they did that at the pound? I didn't get him from the pound. She goes, you didn't? She said, Sean, her husband. She goes, Sean told me that you did. Oh, boy. I just got nervous. I'm nervous right now. It's about a freaking dog. And he got the dog from Craigslist. And he goes, no, I got it from Craigslist. And she goes, hmm, I think he just makes things up sometimes. So I stop asking questions. Oh, my God. We totally, we keep going and going and going because we want the mental picture. Is that what you want? We do. Rebecca's on the phone. Oh, you're dead. You're dead. Oh, man. You're dead. Oh, man. Hi, baby.

2:32:29You're so bad. You know, some people would call that the Grand Inquisition. Other people would call it making conversations. Really? Is that right? Absolutely. Is that right? Yeah. Because, I mean, here's the thing, though. How have you been? It's just normal, like, conversations. Women and men are different. It's normal for a district attorney. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Perry Mason, that's normal. You guys, think about women's phone conversations versus men. You guys are like, how you doing? All right, cool. See you there. Women are like, oh, my gosh. What have you been up to? I don't know. I guess I just, like, after, how was it? Good, cool. How is he? He's great. It seems like that would be the end. We want to know all of it. I want to kind of feel like I was there. Exactly. I ask maybe three questions a day, maybe. Hey, babe, how was your day? Was it good? Good. Hey, what's for lunch? Oh, okay, cool. What's for dinner?

2:33:31All right. Okay. That's literally all. I bet there's one more question you ask. Where are my white v-necks? Yes. Where are my white v-necks? No, the question is, is it too much to ask to ask white v-necks around the house? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Jamie, I'm sorry. It's just so funny about L.O.B. and Rebecca and Jamie and every female listening right now. Because when you guys ask questions, the questions are very specific questions. Yes. Our hearts beat fast. You seem like you're being interrogated, but we just want to know because the more details we get, the better we can picture ourselves there. I agree. And I would say that conversely, you know, the two questions like what's for dinner and how are you? I think that women generally are like, you don't really care about my life. Yeah, I know. Maybe ask a couple other questions besides how it pertains to you. Something for our gain.

2:34:30Rebecca, let me tell you what Rebecca hates. We're a terrible husband. I know. Let me tell you what she hates more than anything. What? When she's talking to me and I'm texting. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I hate that, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, she wants, like, you can tell. Are you listening? She doesn't say that. I do. And what she does is she'll be in the middle of saying something and she'll just stop. No. She'll go like this. She'll go, so I was talking to Jamie the other day. No way. And she'll just stop just like that. And I'll be like, but I won't notice because I'm, she's right. I'm so self-absorbed that I'm like in the middle. And then I'll be like, I think about four minutes ago, she said, I was just talking to Jamie. And then I'll look up at her and I'll be like, oh, what'd she say? And she's like. She said. I do the, you're not listening. And then it gets repeated back to me verbatim of what I actually just said. Okay, but you're not paying attention. Right. Oh my gosh. You're not looking at me. Mike, maybe we just go shoot ourselves. It's the worst. We're the worst. Did you get the most nervous during that role playing Woods when I said, when you go, yeah, he's over in Rancho Bernardo. What part? Yeah. Oh.

2:35:46For sure. Because it's just curiosity. Yeah, Woods is getting so... I was literally nervous. Are those those apartments? No, you're making a bit out of it, but that's, like, the real, like... It's true. I really don't think you're up to anything funny. It's true. I'm trying to, like, make conversations. Don't you? No, we really... I want to know what apartment complex. I want to know if I've passed it before. Why? I don't know. It's just... Yeah, we just accumulate information that way. Yeah, we do. It kind of feels like we were there. Yeah. That's what prosecutors do. Yeah, and you know what? You know how the prosecutors use it? About two years from that date, that guy will go, I went to see Rob. Rob lives over in Rancho Bernardo. And I was visiting Nick in Carlsbad. I thought you said Nick lived in Rancho Bernardo in the Sunnyside Apartments. Oh, yeah. And you're like...

2:36:47Yeah. I can't tell you how many times I've done that. Oh, I bet a million times, Ellaby. And you've repeated. But here's the thing. That won't happen. That won't happen if you're honest. No, you're right. But what if Nick moved? Oh, he moved. Oh, where'd he move to? Yeah. Where'd he move to? True or false, though? It's seamless for them. It's inborn. Did you hear him? He moved to Poway. Really? What part? But true or false? Do you guys do what my sister said my brother-in-law does, her husband? Do they just make up details to just placate? To just be like, I just want this conversation to be over. I will admit. Will you just sometimes? I will admit that not on specifics, but just on I don't know. I'll just be like, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. I go, yeah. That happens with my brothers, with my dad, with any ex-boyfriend I've had. Like, every guy does that. And I love how Mike is, like, you know, admitting right now, like, I don't know. And by the way, I just want to say that I said to Woods last night, he said that Jamie does the pepper questions. And I said, Rebecca.

2:38:02Back in the day, she used to think that she was Miss Sly. Like, I couldn't tell that she was asking questions. Like, I'm like, doo-doo-doo. Did you read my recap as well, Mike? Let's see. She says, Ella B. says in her recap, she says that yesterday she was tired and stressed out and all the electronics around her were backfiring. Her smoke detector was malfunctioning, stuff like that. Her phone was getting jammed up. My computer, everything. And she once heard that when electronics fail around you, when you're stressed, you may have ESP abilities. And so LOB decided to go online and take a test, a psychic IQ test. Yep. I'm speechless. I sure did. Which gave her a score of 30. And the highest that you can score is between 28 and 36 points. Whoa. And so it said about her. Wait, 28 and 32? Oh, no. 28 and 36. Okay. And it said about her, brilliant exclamation point. Did you already know that you were going to take this test today? I do believe I have. Psychic abilities. I don't want to say psychic, but ESP. ESP. And I think it might be a gift of women.

2:39:28Yeah, I think all women think that they have that. I do. And, you know. You have a sixth sense. There's no question. Anytime I've ever done anything wrong, I've gotten gone. Oh, yeah. And little stuff. Big stuff, but little stuff, too. I will get you every time. I love you to get you. Oh, you, my wife, Rebecca, freaking Charlie's Angels, dude. I wish I knew the name of a famous goalie, so I could have made that sort of analysis. Yeah. Yeah. Darn it. Nothing's getting through that net. Nothing. That's right. All right, babe. I love you. I love you. Hey, babe, how was Jakey today? Oh, he was so cute. He was really excited. And when I brought in a big balloon for him in the number four, and he's like, is that my present? Aw. Birthday boy. He's already at school, right? No, we're not doing school today. Oh. Oh. World breakers. Big time in us. Is he there? Can I say hi to him? He's downstairs. Okay. Probably playing with his iPad. He's on my iPad, which is his iPad. It's his iPad. Yeah, he is on your iPad. And then I told him, Claudia, you know, I sent him downstairs and I said, you know, Claudia really wants to see you because I was trying to encourage him to go downstairs because he wanted to stay upstairs. So I was like, Claudia wants to see you. I'm sure she wants to tell you happy birthday. And so I hear him walking down the stairs and he's like,

2:40:57Hi, Claudia. You can tell me happy birthday now. That's cute. That's cute. All right, honey. I love you. I love you. Bye. Our son Jake's four today. CNN has officially found a replacement for Larry King. Is it who you thought it was or is it somebody else? Did you hear who Rodney King's about to marry? I'll tell you next. We're just talking about embarrassing moments of being walked in on while in the bathroom or walking in on somebody while they're in the bathroom. For me, all I know is that some people are much more resilient than you in that department. I am not very resilient in that department. If I'm walked in on...

2:42:17I almost want to unfriend them on Facebook. Well, that's the thing. If you're never going to see them, because that happened to me at Independence Jam. I walked in on somebody. I was like, oh, sorry. And then like an hour later, somebody walked in on me. But if you're going to, and I didn't care because I'm like, whatever. Were you sitting down? I was squatting. You were squatting? I was hovering because it was a port-a-potty. Oh, women do that. It's a port-a-potty. I know. All women do that. Women don't sit down. They hover over it. Yeah, you gotta hover. I can't do that. Yeah. Public, if there's like a little, one of those she thingies, sometimes I'll throw that down, but usually I hover. But luckily my purse, I had it like... Covering you? On your lap? It was just dangling in the general vicinity. So I was like, ho! Oh, ho! When you... Come on in here! When you take... Your little guy, Jake, to go potty? Oh, I thought you meant something. No. Come on. Get your head out of the gutter. You're the pervert. Me? What'd I do? Because you'd say things like that to me. You're taking your little guy, Mikey? I would have said when you take your little piece out, I would have said something like that. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. When you take your little guy into the bathroom, do you hold him up? No. He doesn't need it.

2:43:35He doesn't need it. He's tall enough? Yeah. Okay. Because I was talking to M1 Winder, and he says he will literally grab his kid by the chest and the ankles and hold him over the toilet. Oh, my gosh. So he just aims right in. I thought that was the funniest thing. That's hilarious. No, Jakey lifts the thing, and peace. Okay. Germs was his concern. He washes off afterwards. Jasper would stand on my feet, and I'd just lift him up. It was a tall urinal. And even for- Deuce now he sits. The deuce, he'll hold him by the back of the neck and hold his ankles and hold him like this. And he'll be like, come on, dude. My arms are shaking. Oh, my gosh. You're not going to catch anything from the toilet seat. Ask some of our M1s, my friend. One of them got really sick recently. He got sick? Yeah. From sitting on a toilet seat? From something in a bathroom. Like an STD? No. No way. Something in a bathroom. He got really, really sick. Some old stuff was around. I think what you're saying, though, is that whatever he saw made him ill? No. He contracted something? No.

2:44:44How do you contract something from a toilet seat? Can't you get crabs from sitting on a toilet seat? No. Chris says yes. No, Chris doesn't know. He's our crab aficionado in here. I'm a crab expert, guys. I got a license. I was on season one of Deadliest Catch. I'm pretty sure, though. I remember getting a crash course in HIV, and it was like, where you can catch, where you can get it, and it was telling you all the things, and it was like, In parentheses, however, and it listed the STDs you could get from sitting on a toilet. Because you don't get STD, or you don't get HIV from a toilet. No, it's not airborne. But there was some leftover stuff, and somebody came into contact with it and got violently ill. His whole family. Oh my gosh. Well, he didn't wash his hands. He bit violently ill. If you don't wash your hands, and then you put your hand on your mouth. Well, how about, don't you have to wash your hands? Where'd it go? Yeah, I don't know. But I mean, I guess he was exposed to it and was just like super, super sick. I'm going to ask him. Ask him. So, but then, you know, that's why we were talking about it because he was telling me what happened to this guy. And he goes, dude, that's why I just, he holds his little boy Brady above the deal. Just do your business. Porta potties just, they make me want to cry. It's the worst. They're the worst. It's the worst.

2:46:05They're terrible. I was afraid of them as a kid. You know me and my stomach? I walk in one and I'm like... Don't do that noise. I have to hold my breath. You do? But it's when you look down. Don't look down. How resilient are you when someone sees you in a compromised place? Strangers, I'm fine. What would you be like if Woods saw you? Probably every time I saw him, I would imagine what he saw. Me too? Uh-huh. Oh, man. All of you. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'd have to have you fired if you ever saw me. I can't look at you anymore. Please, I can't. Or you'd bring it up every time. You'd be like, hey, it'll be so my private. Oh, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful. When I was in the hospital, oh, it was so terrible. I've been waiting for this. When I was in the hospital, now I'm only telling the story because I know kids should be in school right now. And Woods has a gun to your head. No. Even my wife said that. No, there's nothing wrong with that story. It's, you know, it's for grown-ups. It's medical and it's for grown-ups. It's medical, it's for grown-ups. This conversation is for grown-ups. If you have kids in the car, I suggest turning them. And it's not, you know, it's not filthy. It's just, it's a real story. It's a real story. Just hee-hee-hee. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Brace yourself. Speaking of little guys. Oh, no. Oh, no.

2:47:37I can't wait to add to this story. Go. I was in the hospital after my surgery. I need the proper music for this. Yes, you do. I was in the hospital after my surgery. And I was taking some, you know, they had me hooked up to an IV that was giving me pain medication. Yeah, I was in a lot of pain. Now, what the pain medication does is it makes you constipated. It also makes you can't wee-wee. And it couldn't wee-wee. And they said, listen, you can't go home until you do. You know, we got to make sure that everything's working properly. And also, it makes things like you just got out of a freezing cold pool. Yes. Right? Because it contracts everything. Yes. Sorry. I love you. Yeah. And so the hospital had to install a catheter. Oh, man. I can't imagine the pain. I can't either. Yeah. Now, you either know what that is or you don't. I'm not going to go into it. Nope. But what I will tell you is that the person that had to install the catheter was an early 20s nurse. She was unattractive? Attractive blonde. Attractive. Attractive blonde. Scale of 1 to 10? 10. I don't know. I mean, I don't know.

2:49:00This is attractive blonde. And I was like, no, no, no. This is no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What was she saying when you were telling her no? Completely professional. Really? Completely professional. Sir? Sorry, Mr. Sparza, we have to. You can't make water, then we have to be able to do this. It's something that we just have to do. And you weren't saying no because? It may hurt. No, I was saying no because I was mortified. Because I was mortified. Get someone else. And I said, is there anyone else that can do this? And she said no. And so, you know. Right there in the hospital. Nurse, is there any other person in the world? Sir, grow up. Let me ask you this, nurse. This is just a medical procedure. Nurse? Yes? Is there a monkey in the building? Because I'll allow you to get an untrained monkey. Or any primate for that matter. An orangutan. Are you trying to say that what I do, a monkey could do? No. What I'm trying to say is that I would let Helen Keller do this.

2:50:34Before an attractive young human being. Thank you. That I have to look at again. That's an off-color joke. Thank you. I understand you're a comedian, sir. Oh, so then you know what I do. Yes. I've listened to the show. Seen the billboards, seen the arms. Yep. I'll have to see something else. Now just lay back. You know what I did? I put a pillow over my face. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. You didn't tell me that part? Oh, what's that? A baby carrot? Oh, sorry. I was fortunate enough. I wanted to cry. Oh, I know. I was fortunate enough to see him. What, it was the next day, right? Yeah. After this happened? I was obsessing.

2:51:35No. I was obsessing. 72 hours straight, it's all he talked about. Eyes still full of tears from him. Yeah. I saw about 48 hours. The funniest thing, and I posted on Facebook, Mikey just told me something that made me laugh so hard. I was crying in the hospital. I was crying. He, in his mind, you know how his mind works, he was laying there thinking that at any second, what was she going to say? She was going to look up. By the way, you know, I'm M1 Alicia. I was just wondering. Could you put the outgoing message on my voicemail? Can you do oil? Yeah, can you do oil? You know, I'm M1 Melissa. Can you? I know this would just mean a lot. Sorry about that. Sorry for that pinch. If that's going to hurt a little bit. But could you just do a couple of seconds of oil? Can you hurry with that, please? Can you make this a little faster, please? You know, I've listened for years. My dad loves. Appreciate that. Appreciate that. Could you do Neil Diamond? Oh, man. I can do this while you call him and do this. Can you do it real fast, please? There's Neil Diamond. There's Neil Diamond. Will you please close your eyes? I'm putting a catheter in Mikey from the Mikey Show. He was for 72 years. He's older and fatter than I thought. He was sad. Mikey was sad. He was so upset. He was sad about it. Jamie and I, I look over at Jamie, and I know when somebody gets Jamie, when she's doing the open mouth.

2:53:04Silent laugh. I look over, she's just going. Dying. Oh, gosh. Poor Mikey. Poor Mike. So then, so you know what they do? So they allow me to, you know, be done, and then they remove it. And the next day, they have to put it back. And I said, is there anybody else that can do this? Same girl. Same girl. Oh, my God. Yeah, seriously. Oh, my God. Is there anybody in the cafeteria? Just a stranger. If it's a guy, I don't care if he's never even seen a medical show. You know what? I'll let my wife do it. She's pretty smart. Let my wife. Talk my wife through it like she is a passenger on a downing plane. And so she goes, she's like, I'll go check.

2:53:58And so she came back about a half hour later with a 74-year-old Filipino woman. And I went, yes! Yes! Yes! I was so happy. I love that story so much. First thing I said, I'm like, I see Mike. Answers at Dory's all like doubled over in pain. I'm like, Mike, how are you feeling? L.O.B. You know what happened to me? Yeah, exactly. That's exactly right. Piers Morgan is going to replace Larry King. And Rodney King is getting married. To one of the jurors. What? Amazing. I know it. To one of the jurors in this case. I got 10 oddly insured body parts coming up next from celebrities. Sing Cinnamon Girl as Fred Durst. I need my guitar. Oh, you do? I want to live. I could be happy the rest of my life with the cinnamon. What the heck? It's good. That's Fred Durst. Fred Durst singing Cinnamon Girl. I know, but why did you ever realize?

2:55:31How did you? I went and saw Limp Bizkit in concert like 10 years ago. They were playing with somebody else. They opened for somebody. And my buddy Kevin and I had a few cocktails and we started laughing at just his voice when he sings like this. And I said, imagine him singing Neil Young. And we started doing the bits and we were dying laughing. We were drunk, but we thought it was really funny. It is funny. So random. Yeah, it's very random. It's very random. I know. I'll just, you know, whatever. He said that last night, by the way. What's that? Because he talked to the cook at the Benihana, and the guy didn't answer him, so Woods said that. I figured he would. Ten oddly insured body parts by celebrities. Troy Polamalu's hair. Oh, it's so weird. Got a million-dollar policy. They have beautiful hair. Did you know that he did that for some sort of, like, spiritual reason? I didn't know that's why he kept it. Grew the hair out? Yeah. It's a Samoan tradition. Exactly. I thought he was just trying to be, you know. Different. Just Joe Cool. That guy is a game changer. There is no question. That guy is awesome. He's a guy from USC that I really enjoy. He's the one. Freakishly talented. Freakishly talented. Brazilian playmate Susanna Alves posterior. What's posterior? Butt. Butt. Yeah. Boutte.

2:56:59She insured her knees, ankles, and butt for $2 million in exchange for posing in a billboard ad for the insurer. Nice. I tried to insure my voice. Did you? Yeah. It was a good idea because now I got all the voice stuff where I'm like, eh. But we didn't. No, because it was so crazy expensive to do. To insure weird stuff is expensive. That's why this chick traded it out. I don't know who Ben Turpin is. No, there's a little description of him. Some of these are more interesting. Okay. David Beckham insured his whole body. Of course. That son of a gun. I know. He's one of those dudes I look at and I go, really? Yeah. He wakes up in the morning and gets out of the shower and probably stands nude in front of his mirror and goes, easy woods. And he's got all that talent. Yeah, dude. He's a super talented guy. Soccer. Yeah, but he's kind of let it fall by the wayside in the past year. His soccer? Yeah. Yeah, but you've got to be great to get where he's got. He's made the money. He's made that jack. $195 million for his legs, feet, and toes. Holy cow. Most people consider that one, by the way, to be the biggest personal insurance policy in sports history. What's his monthly payment on that? Oh, dude, it's got to be crazy. $200,000? Yeah.

2:58:21Dolly Parton insured her boobs for $600,000. Great move. Great investment. $300 each. I don't get it. Look at the fun bags on that horse hound. Why? Like, what's going to happen to them? Breast cancer, maybe. Oh, okay. Yeah, that. That, or they could burst. Step on them. She could step on them. They could smother a man. Yeah, possibly. Smother a man. Let's see. Jeff Beck's fingers. Oh, yeah. Why not? You look like he had six fingers on each hand. He sliced the tip of his left index finger off when he was cutting carrots. Nice. Were they baby carrots? Frankie. So he took out a million dollar policy. Smart. Betty Grable's legs, a million bucks. That was a lot back in the 40s and 50s. Back then? Oh my gosh. Bruce Springsteen's voice. Or lack thereof. Don't you dare. Not a Springsteen fan. That is the boss. The boss, pal.

2:59:23Six million bucks, Lloyd's of London. Six million. Mm-hmm. Lloyd's. It's a good place to be insured by. I think he's got a very, you know, he's not myself, but. Yeah. You don't like his voice? No. Never have. Do you like Bob Dylan? No. Me either. Here's, okay, you know how I feel about those two guys? I respect them as icons and what they've done. I really respect them. Like, if I met him, I'd be amazed. But if I'm getting in my car, And I want to put some tunes on. Maybe the last two people in the world I would play would be Springsteen. Oh, my God. I would have to agree. I would have to agree with that. What? Dylan. Great song, right? Oh, dude. Okay, maybe not so much Dylan in the car, but Bruce Springsteen has some. One song. What, I'm on fire? I'm on fire. Love that song. Glory Days. Hate Glory Days. Born in the USA. Hate it. How come? It's terrible. What about Jersey Girl? Don't know it. Born to Run, I like.

3:00:23Because I really like the guitar in that song. Out. All the way out. I think it's cool how it looks like he's in a poop when he sings. Yeah, I'm out. I think that's cool. Did you guys see him a couple years ago when he was sliding at the Super Bowl and hit the cameraman and then was like, oops? I think it's cool when he does that, when he's singing real hard and he goes... It looks cool. He always had a disproportionately large head. Yeah, he's got a big head. Yeah. I was just out. Tight jeans. Canadian tuxedo, real good. Cute little butt with a bandana hanging out of it. Yeah, really. What are you, mechanic? He was in the I'm on Fire video. That's right. He was a mechanic in the I'm on Fire video. You guys remember Courtney Cox danced with him in Dancing in the Dark. Oh, heck yeah, Dancing in the Dark. That's a great driving song. It's a good song. Oh, stop it. I like their dancing. Yeah. That 80s dance? Yeah. Hey, look at us. We're dancing. The worst 80s looking dance. Dude, can I, real quick, not the rabbit hole. That dance, that specific dance, the tip, do it again? The Carlton. Yeah. Is that what it's called? I call it the Carlton. Well, Carlton's is more. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's the funniest dance. You see that. You know what I'm talking about. The 80s dance. I had a friend named Terry. And he, when I worked at the other station, I did nights. Okay. On Friday nights.

3:01:46we used to do this thing called Free Beer Friday, but in addition to that, we used to have local bands, heavy metal bands, come and play in our parking lot. Nice. And this Cookie Monster band came. I don't even remember who they were. I said Cookie Monster, because the lead singer was like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want cookie. Right. That's what you sound like, it's the lead singer. And the, you know, double bass drums. Yeah, that was good. And my friend Terry... is drunk on Jim Beam. And he goes, how much for me to do 80s dancing? Right in front of him. Oh my gosh. And I said, name it. Name it. And he goes, $100. And I go, done. So they're playing, and I mean, the dude is, and he goes in front of him, and he starts, and he, it was one of the funniest things. I laughed so hard, I thought I'd. I don't even know, I don't know Terry, and that is hilarious. It was.

3:02:45One of the funniest things, and he was so good at it. That was the thing. That's the key. He was such a good dancer. He was such a good 80s dancer. That's great. That when he did it, it looked so good. And they didn't bat an eye. They didn't. They didn't acknowledge it. It was like he wasn't there. And he was the only person that was right in front. Everybody was giving about a 14-foot berth. Trying to look cool. Yeah, everybody with the hands in the pockets, just standing there. Blasting cigs. Yeah, blasting cigs, arms crossed. And there's Terry. Dancing like he's, you know. Oh, it was great. That's great. Brilliant. How long did he do it for? The whole song. That's awesome. That was the agreement. Yeah, 100 bucks. He goes, how long? I got the whole song, buddy. Gosh, that's awesome. And he did. The whole song. He did turns and twists. And he was like Courtney Cox. That's brilliant. In the Springsteen video. Except with probably bigger breasts. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That was great. Wow. Hillary just came in the studio. Hi, Hill. Do you remember that 80s dance? Did it have a name? Do you remember? It's The Step Together. The Step Together. Step Together. Did you like The Boss? Do you like The Boss? I used to do that big time. I do. I love The Boss. Do you? Nebraska, Woodsy. Have you ever listened to that record? Yeah. No. Okay. Do it. Do it and then...

3:03:59It's the voice. Great songwriter. No, Nebraska, though. It was demos, and he ended up putting out, it's like the most quiet, beautiful record. I'd be in on that. You know what's weird? I love Neil Young. And Neil Young couldn't sing his way out of a paper bag. Yeah, but I love Neil Young. Me too. Weird. Me too. I don't like Dylan, but I like Neil Young. They're not the same. No, no, but I'm just talking, they can't sing. Can't sing. Like... They're not neat. Nobody that I like. Oh man, take a look at my life. I'm a lot like you. I like that though. I love it too. It reminds me of my grandmother singing to me when I was a little kid. It's a certain tone that it either feels good in your ears or it doesn't. This one does not. The pushing doesn't. But whatever. I'm an idiot. I need my chicken. That's a good one. Have you heard that one? The fried chicken song? Have you heard the fried chicken song? Oh, yes, I heard the fried chicken. Step together. Step together. I thought I saw myself a church's bar. I had to ask, Woodsy, what's a church's bar? Now, I just picked up on something. I think he said box. It is box. It's a church's box. Church's box. He thought he saw himself a church's box. We're dumb, dude. As in, like, church's chicken. Dude, we're dumb. Yeah, we're dumb.

3:05:17I defy you to not sing this later. It's real good. It's not his fault. It's the chicken's fault. It is. Because it tastes so good. It's not my fault. It's your fault for being so delicious. I can't help myself, and you know that. You know I don't have a chance against you because you're so good. Here we go again. Now I'm fiending for chicken. I love my chicken. I love my chicken. Put nothing above my chicken. Oh, you should go to Hash House. Yeah. Fried chicken. What do you got coming up, Hillary? What did I grab? I grabbed that new Dead Confederate record. It's one of our recommended albums. Primus, The Vandals, Metric, Arcade Fire's new one. There you go. Do you like the new Kings single? I heard you play it yesterday. I do. We played it a couple times. I do. I think it's super catchy. I like it, but I also want to hear the rest of the record. I'm so excited. We'll be in the talented Hillary up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. Mikey Show's out late.