The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/10/10

2:19with a live studio audience in here Friday mornings. And this is a memorable one because this is the last Friday morning that we're going to be doing from the studio that we're broadcasting in this morning, which is the FM 94.9 studio. And Wednesday of next week, we're going to be switching over to Studio M. I gave them a sneak peek. I hope you don't mind. That's cool. I showed them. Yeah, I did. I said, you know, I... I said, you know, this is the last Friday in here, and they're like, you know, they're like, oh, man, we thought we might be in the new studio. And I'm like, oh, let me just give you a sneak peek in there real quick. What did you guys think? Pretty cool? Pretty awesome. Incredible. Yeah, it is. And, you know, we're going to have to be patient with us when we go over there because it's going to take us a while to get used to everything and where everything is and all that business. And by us, you mean you. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's it, man.

3:24I just have to get used to how everything works, but I can't wait. It's so different, too, because it's everything that's on the left in here is on the right in there. That's what I love. It trips me out. It trips me out, too. Okay, so real quickly, the Mikey Show, me, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, who's not here. She's on maternity leave, and Jay, and our phone screener. Cross. That's Cross. That's Cross. That's Cross. Word of the day today is cafeteria. You're listening for the word cafeteria, okay? And then when you hear it, caller number 9-570-1949. Jay, what do we got? We're going to hook them up with another package. It looks like we've got Legoland California Resort. Sweet. So there you go. You're just listening for the word cafeteria. And caller number 9-570-1949 between now and 10 when you hear it. Call us. And Mikey's show, Cook, coming up at 7.30 this morning. I'm going to send Woodsy out. And you're going to a Burger King? Yeah. Yeah. You're going to go to a Burger King. And you're going to have a Bluetooth in your ear. And then I tell you what to say, and you must repeat the things I say. Must I? Yes. No matter what. Yeah. And so that's coming up. I'm glad you're a nice guy. Yeah, I haven't gone too crazy on that. No.

4:42I think I've kept it pretty normal. Do I get to chime in? Yeah. How about me? Let me say some things. No way. You sure got a pretty mouth. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not turning those reins over to Jay. I think that would get weird. That's creepy Uncle Jay. It is creepy Uncle Jay. Oh, yeah. Let's see. 570-1949. Call us. Beginning and end of every show. You can call about whatever you want to. So call us right now about any topic that you want. and you can also text 949mikey at gmail.com. I didn't even know about this story. I'm sure I heard it, and I just didn't remember it, that there were some Americans that have been in jail in Iran for a year and a month, and they're going to get released to mark the end of Ramadan. One of them. One of them. One of three. One of three. One of three. And, yeah, I guess Iran is... saying this is a gesture on our part because we're coming to the close of Ramadan. They were hiking in Iraq and somehow crossed over into the border of Iran. Accidentally. Accidentally. It's their story, and I believe it. I do, too. And they were arrested, put in jail, and called spies. They said they were spies, and that's why they were there.

6:10Probably the last place on earth I think I would ever... I'm not a hiker. I don't hike in Carlsbad. I can't imagine wanting to go hike in Iraq. I know. I was thinking what Mikey was thinking was, you know, who doesn't accidentally cross over into Iraq? Guys who don't hike in Iraq. Guys who don't get off their couch. Me and Mike, we'll be fine. That's going to be the last thing that ever happens to me. Getting caught in Iran or Iraq. Hiking. Anywhere hiking. Is the point of hiking Oh, I want to see different things. Oh, yeah. That's the point. Plus the exercise. Plus the fresh air. Nature at its best. Torture at its best. It is. It's fantastic. When my brother-in-law was in town, he and my wife went hiking. They did. And they had such a great time. And they're like, oh, you have to come hiking with us tomorrow. I was like, really? Okay, is this what I take hiking to mean? Hiking is walking in unpaved areas. Yes, and hopefully strenuous. Yeah, strenuous. Yeah. Most of the time. It could be. Hopefully it's up. So it's usually like a combination of like an incline and walking. Oh. You know what's really fun? You ever walk upstairs and your top of your legs just burn? I love it. Imagine that. You got to feel the burn. For an hour and a half. And for an hour and a half. And it's hot outside and it's sticky. And you're waiting to hear a rattle? Yeah. Worst rattle ever. Well, probably. That was a pretty bad rattle. Like a drummer.

7:37Ladies and gentlemen. I don't want any part of hiking. Zero percent. Come on. Do you like to hike, Jay? Love to hike. Hike along rivers. Did a lot of hiking on my vacation. It's to me like I'll go walk around Manhattan all day. Chicago all day. You know, downtown San Diego all day. That's hiking. City hiking. I guess. But maybe we're urban hikers, Mike. If I were hiking by a river, I'd be like. This is going to be on an episode of I Shouldn't Be Alive. Right. Yeah. It's going to be. They're going to be going to commercial and they're going to go, when we come back, what happens when this old Mexican runs into a bear? It's a story of me fending a bear off. With one arm. One arm. Blood spewing out of my arm like a sprinkler. No. That's a terrible sprinkler. We're not really on our bit since today. Are you a Mexican? Or a Mexicant? I'm a Mexicant. I had a feeling. We're going camping. That's fine, because you can just park it. I'm fine with that. I'm not hiking, though, L.O.B.

8:46I'm not hiking. You've got to hike in. It's going to be an itinerary. They're going to make us park and then hike way into the woods. Everything on your back. No. Little Jake's going to want to go. He's going to, Daddy, can we hike over to that tree where everybody else is hiking to play? And I'll say, without me looking, son, is it more than 20 feet away? You'll get up and go. I won't do a hike in. I'd love to camp with you guys. I'd love to camp with you guys. This is what I want to do. I'll go, L.O.B., I have an idea for today. Let's roll out our itinerary. Today, why don't we do this today, L.O.B.? Why don't we sit on lawn chairs and eat? And I'll laugh like that at you. No way! And then at noon, Let's take a nap. And then when we wake up from our nap, we'll talk about food and what we'll have for dinner. There's no such thing as napping when you go camping. Oh, my gosh. Your tent is going to be a blazing. You can't just nap in the middle of the day. Why do you want to go to a place? I just got, because I've done it. And she's right. And I just, in my mind's eye.

10:02I could smell what the tent smells like in the middle of the day when you unzip it and you go inside of it and you smell a hot sleeping bag. You know what a hot sleeping bag smells like? Baking sleeping bag. Can you guys just smell it? A hot sleeping bag? The worst smell of camping though is... That 5 a.m. when you wake up because you can't sleep and it reeks of campfire. That's great. And everybody's dirty and it stinks like campfire. You're out of your mind. Yeah. You know what else is great about that 5 a.m. wake up? How it's four degrees. And the day before it was 117. No way. You bring your solar shower. You heat your water up. Solar shower. Really? You're going to get in the solar shower at 5 a.m.? No, no. You do it before you go to bed or in the afternoon. So you kind of wash off some of the smell. That is true. The campfire smell, it makes me red. I wake up to the sun peeking through my tent and I go, you do? Oh my gosh, I'll be weird. I can't wait to get up on a camp trip. I hate camping. Me too. I will say though, I like to bring... It's boring. I bring a hammock and I throw it up between two trees in the shade. You can kind of kick back. Kick back in the cool breeze. Maybe just go to a hotel. You can lay by the pool. We can camp at the zoo. We can? Yeah.

11:17Forget it. I sent a text to Mikey. There's a little campground area. You're like in the middle of what they call the urban jungle. They want to do the roar and snore at the wild animal park. Are you on one of the walkways, like cement? No, it's like a little, it's all like a... Aviary all over you? No, it's surrounded. By vines? Yes, that kind of thing. Botanical type things. And below you, is it grass? I don't know. I couldn't get a good look in there. Dirt. No. Yeah, I'm out. Maybe we just go to a hotel for the weekend. No. All of us. No. Just party. Have a good time. Which sounds more inviting to you? We're out in the middle of the forest camping and this beautiful scenery, these trees, maybe a lake nearby, right? Yeah. Or, you know, we're out at the pool at the Four Seasons and you have your sunglasses on and you've got a drink with an umbrella coming out of it.

12:17That's good for one weekend. Camming is good for another weekend. Got to mix it up. But on one of those that I just gave you, you can poop indoors. Exactly. Yeah, but... And on the other one, you cannot. You've got to poop outdoors. Dig a hole. You have to dig a hole and bury it. It's a small price to pay. A small price to pay. That's a huge price. To me, that's a huge price to pay. Or you could just hold it for two days. Yeah. Yeah, just come home holding your side real good. Yeah. Come home feeling like... Yeah. Come home. Stop by at CVS to get some X-Lax. I enjoy a campground that has a structure somewhere nearby. There you can go. Yeah, I'm sure. Imagine what that smells like walking into that place. Do not go in there. Oh, wow. That was super duper loud. Weird. You know what it smells like in there? It smells like cold cement walls. Imagine that smell. Sticky. I like that smell. Smells like gray cement floor. Maybe water droplets on the counter. Yep. Maybe you can vaguely, vaguely smell the odor of chemical cleaning products. Probably not. Yeah, you probably could. I'm going the real route. Vaguely. I'm not doing the whole brr. Vaguely. You know? It's just none of it is inviting to me. You know what's the best is how thick the toilet paper is there.

13:41Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you have to wrap 15 times right now. It's the same. You can see through it. Yeah, it's the same stuff that they make spring rolls out of. Rice paper. Rice paper. Oh, cool. Oh, my gosh. I don't know how you and Jay like that. Wrap around. All the way out of it. The only. Hey, let's just move here, Dad. We could just live in the tent. I'm like, I don't know. Like father, like son. Usually, I bring my own toilet paper camping. J-I-C, just in case. Oh, yeah. You have to. My kids would love it, I bet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The only thing I like about camping is eating. Weird. S'mores. S'mores. Oh, yeah. I like to fish. I do like fishing. That'd be fun. Yeah. I think I could have fun if you were there, Woods. Yeah. Go shoot some stuff. Of course you could. Shoot some stuff. Shoot some stuff. Talk. You guys would commiserate and be like, I wish I was in my bed so much. That would be true. That's true. Governor signed the Chelsea's Law yesterday. This is pretty cool. Listen to some of the things about it. One strike. Violent sexual crimes against a person under 14 years old carry a life sentence in prison without the possibility of parole. Wow. That's great. For one strike. Yeah. Wow. If you do that to a person under 14, you're done. Good.

15:05Forcible sex crimes. Depending on the circumstance, the sentence could be 25 years to life. Dynamite. Lifetime parole. Habitual sex offenders to be monitored with GPS for life. Others will have to wear tracking systems longer, depending on the crime. Sex offenders cannot enter parks. Once they're off parole, they can. The state will use a more costly system for containing. which includes intensive treatment, monitoring, and polygraph tests to reduce the risk of recidivism, which is doing the crime again. And then evaluation. Sex offenders are evaluated for possible ID as a mental disorder offender. It's a good thing. Yeah, it is. Way to go. Great. Good job. I'm amazed. Have you guys seen the commercials on television for Governor Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown? Yeah.

16:06Have you seen them? The Meg Whitmans I have. I don't remember the Jerry Browns that much. Well, I saw them yesterday, and I don't like when somebody's running for something and they've got to tell me how bad the other person is. It's such a tired bit, isn't it? Yeah, it's a tired bit, but I have such a strange experience with it. A, I don't like it. Right. But they work on me. Because they say it with this saccharine smile that's like, I'm Meg Whitman, and I wouldn't do what Jerry Brown does. Yes. Yes. But they also tell you all about how bad Jerry Brown is. They're captivating you, though. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, wow, I didn't know that. What a dirt bag. They're like, you know, when Jerry Brown has been in politics for 40 years, pelicans and screaming at babies and also he is for you know caca and you're like for caca I'm against caca it stinks and they're like and he rarely wears deodorant and

17:26They just tell you all this stuff, and I'm like, oh, but then I don't like it. I don't want you to tell me. Why don't you just tell me what's good about you instead of having to tell me what's bad about somebody else? They tell you in that dark, ominous, like, don't. Yeah. They do. And it was weird, too, because I was watching a commercial against Jerry Brown talking about how unemployment went through the roof when he was, you know, during his reign as something. And then they come back to the television show, and they go to commercial, and it's a commercial for Jerry Brown telling you how much unemployment went down during his reign or something. I'm like, you're saying different things about it. What are you talking about? Who do I believe? You have to do your own independent research. Yeah. Don't trust the hype. Or just don't. Just don't. Just maybe watch football. I want to know, though. Do you? I don't. Well, I want to make an informed decision when I vote. Yeah, you do. I just don't need to know. When you pretend vote? No, man. Are you voting? Oh, yeah. What? I pretend vote, just FYI. You act like you voted? Yeah. Steven Woods. You don't tell people you voted when you didn't, right? No. I'm 35. I voted for the presidency. Once. Once. When? Wow, Obama. Yep. 2008. And you probably didn't know what all the other things on the...

18:51ballot were and you just filled them in. Yeah. Oh, wow. Did you just choose arbitrarily? Yeah, like their names. Kind of like I pick horses. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, like probably about a billion people do. Absolutely. Oh, man. Hey, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to politics and things like that. It just doesn't hold any interest for me. Nothing changes. Nothing changes. What if you get that thing in the mail that tells you about them all and you read it? No, nothing changes. It does, though. You get up, you shower, you go to work. You come home, you eat, you sleep, you watch TV, you read, you play baseball on the weekends, whatever. Nothing changes, man. The amount of money that comes out of your paycheck will change. I don't even look. The laws that get enforced. That will change. She's right. You know what else will change? What? Things will change like this. You go to do your taxes. Which I don't do. You have to. I don't do my taxes. I give them away to somebody. Do you get a check in the mail or refund? Sometimes. Sometimes when you vote the wrong way, you ain't getting anything back. Really? Yes. That's my one guy. Yeah. Oh, boy. That's my bit. Oh, boy. You go, it changes, man. I just don't care. What if that were everyone's bit? Then no one would vote. That would be whatever. I mean, here's the deal. Call me ignorant. That's fine. I'll be ignorant because all I'm worried about is taking care of the missus, the dogs, my job.

20:14my life that I have. I worry about bigger things, but I'm not a big politics guy. I want to feel like it. This is what I do. I don't pretend to be. I want to feel like a grown-up. No. I want to feel like a kid. You want to feel like a kid? Yeah. See, I feel like it's time, like I need to. If I don't, then I'm just a child, you know? It's supporting democracy. If you say you don't care about voting, all of a sudden, okay, I don't care about freedom. I don't care about democracy. I don't feel those things L.O.B. does. She's much more... Political? No. See? No, no, no. She's much more like she cares about the things that matter. And me, that's not what motivates me. LOB has sort of pure motives. She wants to feel like she's a part of the process. She wants to feel like she supports democracy. Me, I go, you know, listen, Mike, this is my internal conversation. You're 40. You know, why don't you act like it, dude? I've got this voice in the back of my head that goes, bro, you're not.

21:2422. It's time. Sitting around fat playing fantasy football anymore with LVers on. Dork. Why don't you vote like a grown up person? You should be an adult. Because the way I look at it is if I don't want to take the time to make an informed decision, I probably shouldn't make a decision at all. Now that I agree with. You know what I mean? And here's me reading political stuff. Oh boy, he lowered tax cuts by 4% across the greater Nevada. Great. care less. It interests me. It's the least interesting thing to me in the world. In the world. Meg Whitman was the CEO over at eBay. Now see, I did a presentation on Meg Whitman at my last company. I had to. I had a gun to my head. But I did a lot of research on that young lady. She did real good for the company. Tough cookie, man. She did miles away from what the previous person had done. She was

22:24Amazing in that capacity. Not going to speak on her political aspirations, but I do know about her at eBay. It was incredible, the turnaround. I like it when the city of San Diego lets us make decisions. I don't like it when the capital of California says this is what you're going to do. I go, what do you know about what we do here? Right. Yeah, I can see that. In Sacramento, what do you know about the Coronado Bridge? But what good is it, like you said, what good is it? for me to go in there and vote for the president and then go, like I'm filling out a Scantron test. B, B, B, C, A, A. You can leave them blank though, can't you? I don't know. I think so. What good does it do? Yeah, what good does that do? Because I did the same thing you did and now we're two votes. And then L.O.B. Yeah, but we're voting for people we have no idea what they do or what they stand for. That's what I'm saying, my good friend Woods. You really think I'm going to research all these people on that ballot? I'd enjoy you more if you did.

23:22And I enjoy you a lot. Scale of 1 to 10, I enjoy you at 8. You do that, 9. You only enjoy me at 8? Well, I don't know that I enjoy anybody at 10. I mean, I'm an East German judge. Wow. It's pretty hard. A little arrow right through the kid's heart this morning. What's a 10 enjoyment of somebody? Pals. Santa Claus? Pals. Oh, Santa Claus. Dude, I don't know that I enjoy anybody at an 8. I enjoy you at a 10. You do not. L.O.B., I enjoy you at a 10. That's disingenuous. Chris, I enjoy you at a 10. L.O.B., you believe that? Do you believe that he enjoys you at a 10? No. That's disingenuous, right? No, I enjoy you all. Don't you roll your eyes at him and go, a 10 already? I appreciate the gesture, but I know that I'm a pain in the bleep sometimes. I enjoy all of you at a 10. I should be 11 then. No, he doesn't. Yes, I do. It's my squad. You don't appreciate me at 11? Come on, Woods. It's my squad. That's how you roll. Yeah, but that means you have zero complaints ever. Yeah, that makes me go, well, he's clearly lying to me about how much he enjoys me, which means that he must be going home and just railing against me, raging against the machine. Today's the anniversary of 9-11. Tomorrow. Oh, yeah, it is tomorrow. Sorry. I always think today because the world revolves around me.

24:37I'm like, well, we're working today, so we have to talk about it today, even though it's tomorrow. So it's me being egocentric. But yeah, tomorrow. And then next year will be the 10-year anniversary. Should be a national holiday, in my opinion. That I would vote for. Should be a national holiday. Yep. And get the day off. Yep. Or just national recognition. I have to disagree, my friend. Really? Because I think it's a sad day. Yeah. You know, that'd be like if December 7th were Pearl Harbor Day. Sad. Damn it, Mike. It's true. You're right. Terrorists did something that day. Yeah. But we'll always remember. It doesn't have to be on the calendar in black writing for us to remember it. You know how there's some days, though, that you don't get the day off, but it's like a recognition day? Yeah. You know, like there's a Ronald Reagan day. Right. And I would like that if we thought about it. It was a day where we memorialize and we think about it. And 9-11 will be memorialized for the rest of our lives and our kids' lives. It's the biggest act of terrorism on the United States ever. Bigger than Pearl Harbor. I can't wait to talk about that dude, man. The dude, the Koran guy. Just such a strange cat. I'd love to interview him. I really would love to interview that guy because he's so weird.

25:55It would make my skin crawl if you interviewed him. I have such questions for him. I have such questions for him. We're going to talk about it because more came out yesterday. It's really a big story. But tomorrow is the anniversary of 9-11. Colby Calais sang the national anthem last night for the opening of the NFL season. See what you think of this. Was she playing? She had a dude with dreadlocks playing the guitar. I saw him and I thought in my head, I thought, I bet that guy's super nice. Was he white? No. The black dude with big old dreadlocks. He just looked really nice. I'd like to see this video. It's like, I bet that guy is like, I bet I could be in a tour bus with him. Yeah, just hanging out. Yeah, and I bet he wouldn't do things like, he wouldn't do in, he wouldn't do things that are insensitive, like fart. He wouldn't do things that are. Is that directed at me? No. Would you do that?

27:25Yes. On a tour bus? Yes. Absolutely. Oh, Jay. What are you going to do? I'd go, hey, this bus has a bathroom. Go in there and use it like a person. No, the rule would be on our bus. On our bus, the rule would be no going in there for that. Right. No number two on a bus. No number two on the bus is a good rule. How do you have a rule that's no number two on a bus, but it's okay to... It's not okay. It's not. If you're going to do that, open up a window or something. Yeah, I will. I'll just go stand by the window. Just cup it and throw it out. I want to play the rest of the Colby Calais national anthem because I really want to see what you think of it. It's probably the most different version of it I've ever heard. Somebody became the NFL's highest paid player yesterday. We'll tell you who. How about in the panel today, a video game. where you can shoot U.S. troops. What do you think of that? We're talking about it. Don't go away. It's a Mikey show. Got a live studio audience in here with us this morning. Love when we do the live audience. Me too. Word of the day today, cafeteria. When you hear it, 570-1949 is our number, and caller number 9 will be a winner. Get to go to Legoland. And Mikey Show Coop coming up at 7.30. We're going to send Woodsy to a Burger King.

29:31and he's going to be wearing a Bluetooth, and he's got to say what I tell him to say. My heart is already racing. Is it? Yeah, of course. It's been, what, three weeks since I've done this? Oh, yeah. We talked about it last time. He said it gets your adrenaline going real good. Oh, I pace before it's time to go in. I lose my mind. Perfect. Woods is going to be telling us about who the NFL's highest-paid player is in just a minute. Okay, so more of last night's national anthem. Dave Matthews played. last night, and so did Taylor Swift. And I thought that they were good. Liked it. Yeah. Taylor Swift, I made an observation. She doesn't dye her hair. Should she? It's just weird that... How do you know she doesn't dye her hair? You can tell. You think? Yeah. It's real clear that she's going for this look that's like... And I was thinking about it, and I go, that's actually really different. It's kind of in, though, the roots and everything. But you didn't see it in the roots. Oh. You know, roots, don't roots come from dying your hair and the roots grow out? Yeah. Her hair was all that natural, very bland color. And I think she does it on purpose. Like, this is really different. This is who I am. Well, I know she dyed her hair brown. Yeah. Don't look like that. She's been making the football rounds, man. She was at the ND game last week. Was she? Did you see her?

31:01I thought you watched her game. I like her. I watched it once it started. Oh, okay. Before the game she did that? Yeah, she was there. No, she didn't sing. Her little brother goes to Notre Dame. Oh. So she was at the game watching as a fan. Probably big brother. I think little brother. Well, she just turned eight years old. She was like 17. I thought maybe her brother was a freshman. I think she's really young. I thought she was like 19. She was wearing a very sexy dress. She's a foxy girl. Yeah. A lot of makeup. But the hair looked... Natural colored. Nice. Much like your own. Yeah, like my hair. Gross. I don't think my hair's gross. No, I'm talking about Jay. Rabbit hole. Do you have, do you shampoo your head? No. You don't? I don't have hair, Woods. Dude, when I shave my head, I usually shave my head in the summer when I used to live in a place that had summer. I would shave my head, but I would still shampoo. Is that weird? No, I put shaving cream on my head and on my face to shave. Okay. Yeah. I didn't do the shampoo thing. Taylor Swift will be 21 in December. There you go, little brother. I had no idea. I thought she was like a youngin'. She's still young. That's the way I think of her. Isn't that kid from Jerry Maguire, he just turned 10? Jamie last night showed me a picture of what he looks like now. He'll always be 8 years older than me. What he looks like now.

32:23I don't know why when little kids that are so cute, they grow up for some reason. It's like William Shatner now. If they're in the movies, he looked creepy and oily. It was so weird. Now he did? Yes. Oh, gosh. Jamie goes, do you know who that is? I go, no. She goes, look at the picture below. I go, oh, my God. Jonathan Lipnicki. Jonathan Lipnicki. Jonathan Lipnicki, the little kid with glasses from- You know that bees and dogs can smell fear? Smell fear. Smell fear. Smell fear. It's a lisp. That's what made it precocious and cute. Cute kid. Yeah. So here was her performance, Colby. There was a couple of athletes that were listening to it. They had their head up, their eyes closed, and you could see the single tear going down their face. Really? So huge. I love that. And I always wondered to myself, I wonder what they're thinking right now. And to me, I imagined that he was thinking, I'm in the National Football League. I'm an NFL player. and I'm really standing in the Superdome for the first game of the season, nationally televised, and there's a professional singer doing the national anthem, and I played Pop Warner at one time. Yeah. I think that's what he might have been thinking. Gratitude. Mm-hmm. It's good. Mm-hmm. It's better now. It's like spaghetti. It's better the next day. Yeah. I didn't enjoy it that much on TV last night, but right now, I'm like, I might burn this onto my iPad. Ooh, that's pretty. Mm-hmm.

34:31Nice guitar, too. Great guitar. Well done. Hey, man, you not going to play anything I did? What am I going to play? First of all... I played my new single. Dave Matthews is here. Dave, this is the best I've heard. You sounded fantastic. I was on, man. Dave, you kind of stink. I know. I've been to New Orleans all night. Look at all these beads. You're wearing the same clothes. Yeah, you got beads almost up to the bottom of your lip. It smells like the bottom of Bourbon Street. I had to show my junk. To get them, but... To get the beads? Yeah. Were you in a gay section of New Orleans? No, man. Everybody was in on me. You just did that and men and women were throwing beads at you? All night. Until I got on the plane. Did you think that to yourself at one point? Did you think, wow, everybody's in on me? Everybody's in on me. That's funny. I'm sure he thought that. Did you? Yeah. Wow, Dave. I would not have thought you would have done that, but I guess you're just an unpredictable guy. I needed the beads, man. Absolutely. Yeah.

35:43Dave, you sing that song that goes... No, Ant's Marching. Is that what it's called? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That sounds just like me. Yeah, yeah, I can't do it. You do you. I don't know. You don't know that song. He wakes up in the morning. He wakes up in the morning. Yeah. La, la, la, la, la, la, and he's rolling. Yep, that's it. You know what I thought when you were singing? I go, man, it's amazing how much it really does sound like Dave Matthews. And it was you. That was the weird thing. Imagine that. They're good. Really good. Were you having marijuana smoke, I bet? Just looked at me like... You know that. You have to ask. You know that, man. I'm in New Orleans, in the Superdome. Do you roll marijuana cigarettes? Blunts. Isn't that a cigar that you unravel? Big blunt. Spliffs. Let me ask, do you remove all the cigar tobacco? Of course. And then you put marijuana in it? Of course. Oh, man, that's really heavy duty. It is. I'm Dave Matthews. You shouldn't do that, Dave. That's too much of that smoke. It's an all-natural, man. It's a plant. It's herbal. It's herbal. Like tea. It's like tea? Yeah. I don't think it's like tea. Yeah.

37:01Sounds a lot more heavy than tea. Nah, come on. Sounded real good, though. Thank you. Do you like Taylor Swift's performance? You get to see her? Yeah, made out with her. You did not. No, you didn't. Spent the night on my tour bus. Hardcore lie. Not true. What's that on my neck right there? It's a hickey, but that... It looks like he just pinched himself a couple times right before he came in. It looks like you pinched yourself. Let's put it this way. Taylor Swift, I'm going to be seeing her again. No, you're not. Absolutely. What does your wife think about that? I didn't know I was married. He didn't know that he was married. I forgot. You forgot. I forgot. That'll work. Strange guy, Dave. We're going back to bed. All right. Woods on Sports is brought to you by Chiba Hut Toasted Subs. Nice. The NFL is underway. Watched the whole game last night. It was awesome to see. It was a low-scoring defensive affair. Yeah. And, you know, the over on the game was 50. Oh. Yeah, the final score was the Saints 14-9 over the Vikings. We're going to hear from both quarterbacks here in a second. But like I said, man, it was defensive, hard-hitting. You know, Breeze, the opening drive leads his team down to a touchdown. I called Mikey. I go, how crisp was that?

38:27If you would have told me that the score of the game was 44-37, I'd have believed that. Absolutely. Absolutely. And first of all, let's listen to Drew Brees talk about it. Cut one. Settling into our game plan, which obviously incorporated a lot of the run game. So I felt like we really established that in the third quarter. And obviously, we're able to finish the game with it. Hey, Woods, did Drew Brees get an operation to remove the... Birthmark? Somebody had said that. I think right before the Super Bowl. Everybody's shaking their head, yeah. It's still there. Well, it looks like a scar now, though. It's faded. It used to be hair. Yeah. And it looks like he got it removed. Yeah. Speaking of hickeys, too, we were just talking to Dave Matthews about his hickey. Did anybody see Sean Payton? It looked like he had a giant hickey on the side of his neck. It did? I was like, that's weird. It's one of my little observations. But Brett Favre, he looked okay. He looked a little jumpy, and they kept talking about how, You know, he's just not on the same page with his receivers. And I just kept thinking, well, of course he's not. He was in training camp for a day. Yeah. You know, so that's kind of where that comes into play. But here he is talking about I'm missing some throws. Cut to. A couple of reads I should have made differently. You know, if I do that, I think it's a different ballgame. It's not everything else that happened. You know, the turnover didn't cost us any points. You just call him last night, Woods, and tape this. But overall, I just missed on some throws that I should have made.

39:53Yep, he did. That guy's one year older than I am, and he's full gray. Oh, yeah. Today, they were talking about on the broadcast, he's going back to Mississippi today for the christening of his grandchild. His grandchild. No kidding. Are you serious? He's driving from New Orleans to Hattiesburg, Mississippi, for the christening of his grandchild. He had his son or daughter when he was like eight? Youngin'. Oh, my goodness. Also, not a good game last night for the Padres. I don't even want to talk about it that much. The pitchers gave up four home runs. They lost 7-3 to the Giants in games that they really need to win. I mean, they're now one game up in the West. Here's the manager, Bud Black, on John Garland's starting pitcher. Cut three. Couldn't get anything really established. And, you know, they had some good at-bats where they laid off some borderline sinkers, some borderline. The sliders. And, you know, when, you know, he was up out over the plate, you know, they put good swings. Yeah, they hammered him pretty good. What's up? Well, they had won three straight. But, man, you know, this is it. This is the time of year where it's just pressure packed. Every pitch means something. And, you know, to win the West, they really put themselves in the hole with that 10-game losing streak. And now.

41:15You got to claw and scratch, and I'm just not a big believer of, well, they've won more games than they were supposed to, and they've won more games than last year. No. You're in a pennant race. Period. Not only that. It doesn't matter what last year, what happened. You're in a pennant race now, and you had a sizable lead. Not only that, but it's not like they have a bunch of injuries. No, I know. Their guys are ready, and these are their guys that have been getting it done all year. How'd the same team have won so much? All of a sudden, the same dudes. I know. I know, man. Yeah, LLB's pointing to her noggin. That's it. Yeah, it's in the noggin. It's in their head, absolutely. And also, Tom Brady is the new highest-paid player in the NFL. Got a new deal. It is a big one, reportedly. $72 million over four years. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, it's one of those things, and it happens in a lot of sports. The guy gets older, you've got to kind of pay him for what he's done in the past. You know, in the Yankees' case, Derek Cheater's contract's coming up this year. The guy's 36. His skills are diminishing a little bit. They've got to pay him for what he's done in the past.

42:16They can't let him go. He can't go play anywhere else. It's Derek Jeter. Wow. You see Tom Brady out playing in Buffalo? No. No, the guy's won three rings there. So next on the docket for the big-name quarterbacks that contracts are expiring, Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. Oh, wow. So those are going to be the top three. We'll just kind of see how it shakes out as who's going to be the number one guy. How good does Drew Brees look? He looks great. I like the guy, man. I like that dude. God, he looked good last night. Yep. Also, we were talking a little bit the other day about it. People, when they engage in a war of words, the only time I really like it is in sports. And I love it in sports. The trash talking between teams. Because it doesn't seem so serious to me. It doesn't seem to hold as much. Because it's a game. It's a game. It's a game. Did you hear about Ray Lewis and Rex Ryan? Yeah. Did you see this? This is pretty interesting. It was very interesting. I read this thing yesterday. So everybody knows that the Jets and Rex Ryan have— I mean, Rex Ryan, all he's done since they were on Hard Knocks, the HBO special, is run his mouth about how great his team is. Yeah. Okay? Second-year quarterback, Mark Sanchez. I mean, they've got a lot of unknowns on that team. It's not as locked in as I feel. It's not as locked in as he thinks it is. He's saying, we're going to win the Super Bowl, you know, no question, blah, blah, blah. Ray Lewis is like, listen, pal.

43:30You guys haven't won anything yet. Nothing. You don't have any rings. You haven't done anything. So he says, Ray Lewis says, quote, you listen to all this yap, yap, yap. The bottom line is you've got to buckle your chin strap. That sounds like a rap. So Rex can say what he wants to say. Go coach Mark Sanchez. Go coach your Jets. My name should not come out of Rex's mouth unless you're telling somebody to come block me, which is going to be a hard damn task come Monday night. All this pressure he wants to put on his team, I hope they can cash this check he writes. Do you think Ray Lewis is going to be fired up Monday night? See, it's not lighthearted coming from Ray Lewis because he'll kill you. Yeah, he'll kill you. He'll just kill you. Literally. Yeah, he'll just kill you. Oh, boy. And so Rex Ryan writes, he responds back. He says, well, I've got a lot of respect for Ray. Doesn't matter what he says in a negative light. I still respect him, but we're going to try to smash him. I can tell you that much. I don't really picture people smashing Ray Lewis. No, he doesn't get smashed a lot. Not really. I can't wait to watch that game. I know it. It's great. I know it. That's Woods on Sports, my friend. 5701949 is our number. Last night, our Hungarian nanny made something called chicken poppy kosh. What? Chicken poppy kosh. Poppy kosh? I don't know. Sounds good. It was really good. I was nervous, you know, because I was like, I don't know if this is going to be good. Right. What is it? She made these homemade, like...

44:52Dumpling things I'm so hungry and she put this chicken stuff over it. It was really really good yesterday was Jake's birthday to my son my four-year-old Then it went to his head he wasn't was he being diva ish yeah, he's you know Some people like things the way they like it Sweetly. No, it was more than that. What was he saying? You know, he the day was all about him and it started out that way. And so as the day went on, he was just kind of like, you know, I can do whatever I want. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. And so I'll just if I want to, I'll slug you dad in the stomach. He's kind of like 21 to.

45:4635-year-old woman in that regard, that when it's their birthday, or as they like to call it, birthday month, they can do whatever the hell they want. And you're expected to do whatever the hell they want. Does your wife do that? She does? No, she does or she doesn't? I'm taking the fifth. What about Rebecca? Not really. See, you know, have you not learned Rebecca's bit yet? No. Rebecca's bit is she won't complain. She won't... She never complains about anything. She has that look like, I got you. I got it. I stored it right away. Jamie, she's not a diva on her birthday. She has been in the past. I can be on mine. I was kind of down this year. I turned 35. I'm a martyr. I'm a martyr, too. Yesterday was Kim's birthday. They have the same birthday? Oops. You didn't say anything, Jake. I didn't say anything on the air. I knew it was her birthday. I was just busy yesterday. Oh, wow. My daughter called me out. She goes, yeah, you don't say anything. You don't say anything. I was just busy. On a big morning show. You have the mic in front of you. I texted her and called her. What did you do for her? After the show, we went paddle boarding.

46:59and I put her out in too big a surf. She thought it was like a foot high, and she got out there, and she was furious with me. Is that what she asked for? She's like, hey, for my birthday, will you take me paddle boarding? She's been wanting to go paddle boarding for the last few days. And so I went and borrowed some paddle boards from a friend, and we went out at Carter's Reef, and it was just real small. But then she got out there, and she was like, I hate you so much right now. Happy birthday to me. So then I took her over in the little river over there, and we paddled around. But tonight's a big dinner, so. There you go. You had to punish Jake yesterday on his birthday. That sucks. Oh. It didn't bother me at all. Mr. Grinch. It didn't bother. Hey, listen. It was like he was reading his own press clippings. I'm like, hey. He's like Rex Ryan. Yeah. I'm like, you really going to have a big head with me right now? I want to know more. We do. All I wanted all day long, I was talking about the start of the NFL season, start of the NFL season, start of the NFL season. And I go downstairs and I do this thing with the couch. I take the back pillow, you know, I don't know what that's called, the thing that's on the back of the couch. The pillows that are on the back of the couch. Cushion? Cushion, cushion. There you go. Where are you? Yeah, the hoof, the paw. Got a hoof in there. I take that back cushion.

48:20And I pull it out to a 45 degree angle. That's a good move. Because our couch is shaped like an L. I sit on the small part of the L, the bottom of it, and I pull the cushion out so that I can sit there. Now, a normal person, you couldn't do it, Woods, because your feet would hang off four feet. I know exactly what spot you're talking about. Yeah, but I can do it because I'm diminutive. I'm like a jockey. So my tiny little body would fit in a cigar box. I can do it perfectly. Cigar box. And I'm there, and I'm just enjoying myself. I'm just enjoying myself. And Jake is in this, it's his birthday, man, so he can do whatever he wants. He's running on the couch. Oh, boy. Hey, bub, don't do that. Don't do that. He goes, yeah, okay. Run. And he's doing this thing where he's like body slamming into daddy's brand new surgically repaired gut. Oh, man. And I said oh man, I wish that this wasn't happening Wish something different was going on and that happened for a little while and then Rebecca came downstairs with the twins the twin boys Luke's on the couch And in the background vaguely Really really quietly in the background you can hear this

50:00I want to jump on you. And I thought to myself, wow, this is different, isn't it? This is different. That was, you know, it was yesterday. Oh, that's good. Good times, huh? Good times. I'm going to write a movie about it. I'm going to call it Parenthood. Done. We still got to do the panel because this thing is a hot topic, so we'll do that. You heard about this girl that says that Vince Neil from Motley Crue wrapped her up in an elevator? Weird. I know. He says two girls were with him, too. Now, you'll decide. I'll have the audio of her. She made a YouTube video going, this is what happened. So I'll play it for you. You decide what you think about it. Mikey Show on a Friday with a live studio audience. Very nice. Welcome back.

51:11Don't forget, word of the day today, cafeteria. So when you hear me work the word cafeteria real slyly and sweetly into a conversation, caller number 95701949 will win a San Diego prize pack, get some very, very valuable tickets to Legoland. And so when you hear the word cafeteria, that's what you're doing. Woodsy's going to go do the Mikey Show kook at 730 and send him to a Burger King this morning with a Bluetooth in his ear. And then whatever I tell him, he has to repeat. So we'll do that in just a little bit. Annie Heilbrunn is in the studio with us this morning. She's great. Annie is a reporter for the San Diego Union Tribune, correct? Correct. And you do a lot of... Really cool stuff with the Chargers. You do something called, do you still do Chargers Roll? We do Chargers Roll. We just started that Wednesday with Nick Hardwick. That's so cool. It's like real in-depth interviews and stuff. Yeah, the great thing about it is it's like a 15-minute interview. Kevin does and Kevin A.C. does. And the players really kind of relax because they're at a sushi place. They eat. You know what I mean? So you get a different feel for them. Hence the roll. There you go. Exactly. I like it. Tony Sushi on Murphy Canyon Road. I love it. Yeah. And I was just saying to you before we went on the air, I said,

52:28It seems like you have such a fun job. Yeah. Because sports, you love it. You love sports. Sports is something that we all do. to kind of escape and enjoy, and you get to do it for a living. Yeah. I have days when I'm outside, you know, watching practice, and I'm like, man, this is my job. You know? What is this? Or I'm at the stadium talking to fans. No, I get paid for it, which is strange, but I love it. I mean, it's good. You get to actually get inside and talk to the players and talk to the fans and have fun with it, which I think we kind of need every once in a while. Is there a sport that you prefer over any other? I'm a football girl. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet. Sweet. I think the football players like her at all. Yeah. I was going to ask you. This is a really girly question. That makes my mouth water. Don't scare me. Do you guys like it or do they get intimidated when you tell them about your job?

53:18In terms of dating guys. Are you not dating anyway? Well, no, I'd like to. I should be dating a little more than I am. Tell us about your personal life. You know what? I think it's like that whole novelty thing at first. It's like, oh, that's cool. It's football. But then, you know, I mean, then it's just the regular thing. But I think they probably wish they could get free tickets or something like that. You know what I mean? Do you actually have time to date somebody? That's the thing. It's like football season starts and your life just completely stops because you're there at Chargers Park. from like 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and then on the road. And then, you know, so that's the thing is that, yeah, I have no life. Yeah. Observationally, Annie is very, very pretty. Very pretty girl. Smells delightful. I did that just for you. Thank you. I took a shower this morning. Thank you. Well, and here's the thing. So you would say, you know, you hear Annie go, yeah, I'm single. And you go, well, how is a girl that's real pretty like that, got a real cool job single? But then when you think about it, you go, well, what would a guy say? A guy would turn into a girl and be like, I don't spend any time with you. You never want to give me any time. I don't even know why I'm in this. I don't even know if we communicate. I don't even know you anymore. We don't communicate. Have fun on the road out in Kansas City. I'll just be here. Tell Kevin Cobb I said hi. It's like that with the tears and everything. You're right. I'm sure. But during the football season, it's got to be tough, right? It is tough. It is tough. I mean, simple things. Like, you know, you make plans and then they sign a player or they release a plan.

54:44And all of a sudden, you're at a presser when you thought you had the night off, you know? So it's that sort of thing. It's like that's your life. You drop everything for that. You're dedicated to it. You're dedicated, exactly. That's killer, though. Or crazy, one or the other. Well, let's talk some football. I have some Charger stuff for you. First of all, Merriman, I read from reading Kevin Acey's tweet, practiced yesterday for the second day in a row, right? Yes. So that's good news. That's good news, but he's not expected to play at Kansas City. For how long? I don't think they're going to play him. I think what it is is they're going to sacrifice that game so that he's better for the season. So, question. Brett Favre. Wait, wait, wait. I'm not done with Merriman. Are you not done? No, I was going to ask her, why can he play? You've got a busted ankle and didn't go to practice. Why Merriman no and Favre yes? Well, the same reason they flew a plane and had everybody watch. you know on tv when far came into town yeah yeah yeah brett farve is like iron man okay yeah you know what i mean like he's got like the he's he's made of steel okay and the achilles that that's what merriman's problem is achilles yeah well and that'll put you out for the whole season if it gets too dangerous you know that's what happened in donald butler the rookie that that they signed and he he hurt his achilles at the beginning of training camp and he's gone for the season the achilles is that is that real weird part of i know it hurts me too think about it cartilage behind your ankle

56:09Yeah, and then it's sad because you're like, man, you know, they come in, they're all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and then they're just done, you know? Well, how is it that, because every time I've ever heard of an Achilles injury, you're done. How is it that he's not done? Is it just a little boo-boo? I think it's just a minor is what I'm hearing. If it snaps, you're done. So it didn't snap. It's just strained. It's just strained. Okay. Tweaked. It's feeling a little pressure. Yeah. It's being nursed. So how good do you think he's going to be once he's back? I think he's got a lot. I think he wants to prove something. So I think he's going to go out there and do it. I mean, you know, everyone compares him to that season. What was it? 2007. When he just had all those sacks. I think he's still got life left in him, personally. Is he going to be that guy? I don't think so. But I think he's still going to contribute. Annie Heilbrunn. Is in here with us. She's from the San Diego Union Tribune and she's a reporter for the for the Union trip And it says that you were also that you've done some stuff for MTV I did yeah out of college I went and I got a little internship there and then it turned into a little bit of a freelance gig So I was on TRL and you know Yeah, that was like when TRL was cool. Yeah, and and you had no I got to interview Justin Timberlake and I gave me a hug and that's like the bright spot of my life. Yeah

57:29It was a good time. Do you ever do anything with MTV anymore? No, because you know what? Most of the people that I worked with, MTV Viacom had some, I guess, some bad times maybe. And a lot of people got let go. And so it's different now. I guess it's, well, you know, you see them doing all their reality stuff. It's like just a different, different feel. Yeah, they haven't played music there in five years. That's true. They don't want me on the Jersey Shore. Yeah. Why even do a music video anymore if you're a band? Right. Who's going to play it? It's going to be played on MySpace and YouTube. Yeah, Facebook. Annie, so end of the season prediction for the Chargers. How do they finish? I'm going for like a second playoff game. I'm at least making it to pass the first playoff into the second one. Yeah. I do. You know what? I don't know. Maybe I'm optimistic, but I think they're going to do it. I think they just have to. If they don't, everyone's going to freak out. What do you think of Ryan Matthews? I like Ryan Matthews. Ryan Matthews, he's a real deal. That was Mikey's first pick in the fantasy football draft. First pick. Fifth overall. He's a great player, but he's going to become even better. I mean, you see Kevin writes a lot. You see traces of LT in him. And I think maybe, you know, I don't even like the comparison because I think he's his own guy. I think he's got his own feel to him. But he's really good now. He's going to be really great if he continues the way he is. And he just absorbs it. He's got a good head on his shoulders.

58:51He's good to the fans. He just seems like he gets it, and he's not all caught up in the craziness of it yet or the hype. I think Ryan Matthews is going to be the real deal. Stud. Yeah. All right, so I have to ask. So you will go to these Charger training camps and stuff like that with Kevin a lot of the times, right? Yeah, Kevin and I are both there pretty much every day. So are you treated differently by the players? than Kevin is because you're a pretty blonde. Kevin's good looking, you know. Kevin may have a little. See, but I bet you're more their type. No, I get treated, I think it works for me and against me sometimes because it's, as women can attest to, sometimes you maybe.

59:44People perceive something as flirting, and it's not. You're just trying to do your job and be friendly. So I think it works for me and against me. I definitely have a good time, and I think there's a good rapport with the players. But, you know, I have to keep my eye contact. Got to make sure, you know, that everything stays. Do they keep theirs? Everything stays professional. All right. Do you just wear a shirt that says, my eyes are up here? My eyes are up here. Big arrow. Big arrow pointing out. So, out of ten players, let's say you talk to ten players in a day. Out of ten players, how many flirt with you? Ten? Be honest. Ten? No, no, no. Or four? Not ten. Let's go with half. We'll go with five. Five. Five. I guarantee it's more like seven or eight. Is it, is it, is it, is it uncomfortable because you go, oh man, I, you know, I'm a professional. I can't do this back. But at the same time, I don't want to make them think I'm a jerk. Right. So it's a fine line of like playful with, and at the same time, like this isn't going anywhere. I want to be nice and be playful with you, but this isn't going anywhere. Is it like that kind of thing? It's that. It's the second. And I think a lot of times too, they're just messing with me. They know, they know that, uh, they know it can be awkward and it's, you know, it can be uncomfortable and they like to rib at me. They like to mess with me. What if?

1:01:02Yeah. I mean, you're a young single person. What if you actually hit it off with somebody? So but you already made your mind up in your head I I can't date a player, or you go, eh, you know, if something happens, whatever. Yeah, I mean, I think there's no rule. There's no rule. Yeah, we'd have to kind of lifeline Kevin here and see if he's got a rule. I'm sure that somewhere there is a rule, but in my mind, there's no rule. Kevin's like, cut in the throat right now. That's cool. That's awesome. Super Bowl prediction.

1:02:03Super Bowl prediction. Well, I'm going to go with Chargers because, you know, let's do it. Oh, gosh. I don't know about that second team. You know what I mean? There's going to be some good teams out there this year, and I think there's going to be some sleeper teams. Dallas Cowboys. Yeah. Really? Would you think it would be a Chargers, Cowboys, Super Bowl? How rad would that be? It would be pretty rad, and it's in Dallas this year. I'm from Dallas. Oh, okay. Well, then let's go with that. That new stadium would be. It's going to be amazing to see a Super Bowl. Plus, doesn't Dallas feel, I mean, they sort of feel like they got it. Yeah, we'll see. Their quarterback's kind of a Matt Leinart wannabe. Or Leinart kind of is a wannabe Romo. Yeah, yeah. 570-1949 is our number. Annie, we want to have you back. I want to be back. Yeah, I want to talk some more Charger football with you. And anything that really surprised you in this camp that you went, hmm, I didn't really expect that from whatever? Oh, gosh. Any surprises? No big surprises. I mean, player-wise, I'm kind of surprised that neither Vincent or Marcus are back. You know, you kind of thought one of them might have made it back. But player surprises, not really. I mean, the young players, I think, are great. And I think that they are as good as they need to be, and they're going to get better, you know, throughout the camp. I mean, throughout the season. Who affects the team more by not coming back, Vincent Jackson or Marcus McNeil? Oh, gosh. I think they have.

1:03:26I think Brandon Dombrowski is going to do a great job at left tackle. I do. And I think that there's a lot of good receivers. And they just signed Patrick Creighton, and he's a great receiver too. The rumor on the street is it's going to be Marcus McNeil just because you want Phillip protected at all times. And you can get. Dombrowski's done a great job. This is how I feel. And you know what? Murchkowski, no one knew if he was going to be good when he had to step in for Hardwick. And he did a great job. You know, so. Guy makes about eight bucks an hour on bus fare. That's the thing, you know. We call Brandon Dombrowski the baby-faced assassin. Really? Because have you ever seen his face? No. I mean, the kid looks like he's 12. He's eight feet tall. Yeah, he's got like that, like, menacing look to him. He'll kill you. But he looks like, yeah. But he's got like this baby face, too. You know? Yeah. Well, he's been doing great. Yeah. Doing a great job. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. And thank you, Annie. You want to hang out with us? We've got some other stuff we've got to get to, but it's fun having you in. I'm going to hang out with you guys next time. I've got to go to Chargers Park. There you go. Thanks for coming in. That's a dedicated girl. That's great. Thank you. Thank you very much. Okay, so the panel. Let me explain how the panel works. The panel is Woods and Lauren and myself. And what we do is we comment.

1:04:40on different things that are happening in the news. We only get 20 seconds per topic. And this is a big deal right now. The military wants to ban a video game where in the video game you can opt to shoot U.S. troops in Afghanistan. And I just want to ask people what you think about that. Should you be able to or should that be something that they say is illegal to even do? Woods? I don't know. At first, I was like, oh, it's obvious. You never want to shoot a U.S. soldier, but they're selling this game in the U.S., and you can pick to be on another side. You can be a German shooting a U.S. I don't know. I think it's a video game. I mean, it's not real life. I think it's okay, but I wouldn't play it. Lauren? I think it's the worst thing that you can do, but I do find it disrespectful. I mean...

1:05:38It's not like people are going to all of a sudden go out and start shooting U.S. troops because they play it. But why even do this symbolic comparison? I just don't like it. Personally, I think that we have the right to do things like this. It's our right to be able to manufacture a game that does this. But it goes back to the same stuff with the mosque and this guy that's going to burn the Koran. It's just poor form. It's ugly. It's insensitive. It's disgusting. Here's the thing. If I were a politician, I would say, let's put this stuff up for a vote. Instead of being so politically correct about it and going, ah, it's the United States. We're allowed to do stuff like this. Why don't we put it up for a vote and go, how about we vote to say this is illegal? You know, I would be totally down with that. Well, it's like what our caller said the other day. It's like, you know, just because we do have democracy and freedom and everything, you don't just get to be like, I'm an American. I do whatever I want. Yeah, the sense of entitlement. Hey, I can make this video game. There's no laws against it. It's just, you know, they give you all these different countries you can choose from and who you fight against, I guess. And that's not even necessary. I guess trying to make it more like sports and maybe get more people into it. But, you know, another thing, though, is it better to, I mean, let's say you're an American.

1:06:53You're out there cutting dudes' heads off that are German or, you know, whatever. I mean, is that better, I guess? I don't even think you should assign actual countries. It should be dudes. I think it should be good and bad or A team, B team. But it's like the same people that are out there giving you that freedom to make this video game, then you're going to make this, you know, shoot them in a video game. Yeah, I actually play the game, so I can tell you that. I like to be a U.S. guy, and then if people are shooting me, it's just they're shooting a U.S. guy. So it should be U.S. versus bad guys. But, I mean, you know, I know other guys who like to play the bad guys. They like to play the terrorist. So it's just like, you know, hey, it's a game. M1 Marcus from Oceanside. What do you think? You know, I made the comment, just because you can doesn't mean you always should. I think there's a lot of good ideas and things out there. I think there's an appropriate time and an inappropriate time. I think now might not be the most appropriate. Listen, it is. Is there, though? I think Woods is right. We're in a time of war, I don't think, you know. You shouldn't do it. And we've been in it for the past, what, almost 10 years? But you can still play World of Warcraft. You know what I mean? Like, you can still play Call of Duty. Yeah, but isn't World of Warcraft like wizards and stuff? No, fine. Call of Duty, I meant. Yeah.

1:08:18I don't know. I like girls. I don't know what Call of Duty is. I mean, I know. It's a military. I've heard of it, but it's... Does it have actual countries and stuff in it? Yeah. Marcus, thank you for the call. Yeah, thank you very much, guys. I appreciate it. Those games are pretty brutal. Yeah. They're pretty brutal anyway, so... I can't play them because I throw up. Whoa, really? You do or they do? I do. No, the game. The person vomits. No, I didn't know if, like, the player was like... If you hit a special code on the... They go... I thought it was one of those things, if you see them throw up, then you throw up. I get motion sickness. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And those will get you. Like Blair Witch Project and the video games. Jamie, dude. Absolutely. When the camera shakes, I go. That's how Avatar was for me at first. I was like, ugh. Yeah. M1 Michael from Claremont. You there? Yes, I am. Yeah. Hey, Mikey. I just wanted to say that a moment ago you said that maybe we should put it up for a vote as to whether this video game should be legal or whatnot. I disagree. I think that the most important thing for us to defend are the things that we disagree with the most. Yeah. Hey, listen, you make a good point. I get it. It's real easy for us to go along when we agree with it. Yeah. It's to defend things that we think are evil. Yeah, but if we put it up for a vote, Michael, isn't that, by definition, democracy? Yeah, we do. We do, though. We live in a democracy. Well, 51% of the people say that you can't do something. That's not what we have. Pure democracy is extremely dangerous.

1:09:52In fact, the Founding Fathers were deeply distrustful of democracies because all it takes is for a simple majority to outlaw something and you can do it. Yeah, but Michael, we live in a democracy. A constitutional republic guarantees that the rights that are born to you by natural right of man cannot be violated by a simple majority. Michael, if we didn't live in a democracy, how do we vote for president in this country? A republic. In other words, we have a representative democracy, but it's not a pure democracy. If pure democracy looks like this, if we all agree that divorce is a bad thing, then we can vote and help. Hang on a second, though, Michael. If I understand correctly, if I understand correctly, somebody wants to make a bill that says you can't get divorced because it's illegal, they can put that bill up there. No, they can't.

1:10:54frame the argument is to create the arena in which you're going to have an argument. I see what you're saying. So you're saying, Michael, that if somebody put a bill up like that, immediately it would be ruled unconstitutional. Basically, you're not allowed to put that bill up. You're not allowed to say, oh, I'm going to vote on this because it's just outside of the arena. That was the purpose of the Bill of Rights. The Bill of Rights was to say, look, here are the 10 things that you're not allowed to touch no matter what. Got it. And then the 10th... The 10th Amendment specifically says, and by the way, this is by no means a list, a complete list of rights. There's all sorts of other rights that people have. Hey, Michael, I got to cut you off, bro. I got to cut you off because it's interesting to me and you, but I can see 800,000 people yawning in their cars right now. And I'm just being honest with you. Way smarter than I am. Michael is the smartest guy I've ever known. It's an interesting conversation, but not for everybody. Hey, Michael, before you go, wouldn't you rather live here than anywhere else?

1:11:55Me too. I love it here. Thank you. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Didn't even get to the other one. We'll get to it, though. It's pretty spicy, too. You start allowing ads to be up at schools here in San Diego. You start advertising Walmart, where your kid goes to school. Real quickly, what do I care? Honestly, what do I care? Unless it's Trojan condoms. at the elementary schools. Well, it's the gateway. It's really, Walmart's the gateway to Trojan condoms. Come on now. You know, we live in a day and age where nothing happens without somebody capturing it on a video. That's why when we come back, we have actual audio from Tom Brady's car accident yesterday. A break room smells like a cafeteria. It's like they're serving homemade mac and cheese in there. Absolutely. Or maybe that cold pizza. Yeah, the cold pizza. Let's see. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show.

1:13:31We have Woodsy on the phone who is our Mikey show kook. Are you there? I'm here, buddy. Hi, Woodsy. How you doing? I'm good. Are you nervous? Not at all. You know me. He's not. He's not nervous at all. I was born to do this. I think his heart's beating like a little bunny. Yeah. Here's how this works. Woodsy has Bluetooth in. He's about to walk into a Burger King. Uh-huh. and he has to repeat after me when he gets up to the counter. Are you ready? I'm walking in right now. All right, let me know when you're in front of him. Okay. Two. Hey, yeah, do you guys, let me get a Whopper, large fries, large fries, and onion rings. And onion rings. They have that now? Oh, my gosh. Get two, then. Two is what I just got. Wow. Can I also get a Belgian waffle? No. Okay. What about strawberry crepes? Okay. On that Whopper, is it cool to have it my way? On that Whopper, can I get it my way? Can I get a creme Beaujolais sauce on that? Do you have a creme Beaujolais or anything? Any sauce that goes with it?

1:15:19Can you special make the ketchup with just mayonnaise and some tomato sauce? Okay, I know that this is high maintenance. I know this is high maintenance. But can I get that ketchup with San Marzano tomatoes? I know this is high maintenance. But can I get that ketchup with San Marzano tomatoes? They're from Italy. I'll give you that right there. I think that should do it. That's it. That's it. And your number. You won't do it. I will take it to go. You're working all day? I'm here all day. Yeah. Nice. Hey, can I buy you a coffee? Coffee or anything? You're good. You good to go? I'll buy you a coffee. I'm wondering why I didn't get a Chris sandwich. Those are pretty good. Hey, weird question. You guys don't have foie gras, do you? Oh, my gosh.

1:16:52Hey, how often does the king actually come here? Hello? Met the king? The burger king. I have nightmares about that guy. Him and Ann-Margaret. Alright, Woodsy, that's it. Goodbye. That was great. Oh, he hates you right now. He hates me. I couldn't resist and your number. He wouldn't say that. He wouldn't do it. And then when he said, can I buy you a coffee? He nervously, he was so nervous that he laughed. He's going to slip my throat. He's going to say, this is what he's going to say. Because every day after the show, I'll pull the curtain back. Every day after the show, we talk about, well, what could we have done different? How did this go? Blah, blah, blah. He's going to go, don't do that again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude.

1:18:09I don't want to do, don't make me sound like, yeah, don't make me sound like that. It's not funny, Mike. It's not funny, dude. It's not funny, dude. It's creepy. Mikey. It's creepy, bro. You're my boy. You're supposed to be my boy. You're supposed to be my boy. You're supposed to have my back. That's fantastic. 570. It's not as fun to imitate Woods when he's not here. I know it. Really? I want to hear him go, git. Git, git, git, git. Git, git, git, git. He'll be back here in two seconds. 570-1949. All right, M1 Melinda, you there? Yes. What was the word of the day? Cafeteria. That is correct. Got yourself a San Diego prize bag. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. I was telling Jay that it's actually, I know it's kind of nerdy, but it's on my bucket list. I'm still really young, but I was like, I want to win something from a radio station one day in my life. There you go. Yeah. She's a big winner. There you go. How old are you, Melinda? How old are you? I am going to be 26 in October. There you go. Well, congratulations, Melinda. Thank you so much. You guys are awesome. You bet. Did Jay get your information or do I need to put you on hold?

1:19:21He has my cell phone number. I don't know if he needs anything else. Jay, you need something? Whoa, Creep, what do you need her cell phone number for? What's that part of the paperwork? I had her measurements, too. She goes, yeah, he has me emailing over a photo. I need a full body shot. He said he needed a bikini shot in order to complete the paperwork. It's kind of mandatory. There you go. All right, hang on the line, okay, Melinda? I was listening to... sports talk yesterday. And I had this real desire to call in. Really? And I was like, I'll change my name. Yeah, I'm calling about... I was going to do that. Call in as Frankie? I just didn't. I didn't have the guts. Hey, it's no big deal. I work for... I'm on the air, so I'll be a good caller. Right. I know what to do. I know what to do. Trust me. My brother's flying into town tonight, Steve. I love Steve. I know. He's flying in tonight. And my wife says to me yesterday, I hope he isn't listening. It's quarter to eight. I wonder if he's listening. Oh, man. Self-edit, self-edit, self-edit. I'll just tell him I was kidding. Say it. Our nanny's name is Nita. And Rebecca says yesterday, do we need to have a talk with Steve? Oh, my God. About Nita? Totally. You do. And I go, like, what? And she goes, just to, you know, lay off and not.

1:20:52I met your brother. Sniffing around. I think you need to have the talk. Sorry, Steve. And I go, no. And she goes, okay. I go, not unless he does something. I go, she's a big girl. She can handle herself. What am I going to do? He's a boy. She's, you know, that's what they do when they're single. They flirt. You could handle it, L-O-B. You just go not interested or whatever. Yeah, but she might feel compromised because she works for you. She just got here. So do you. She doesn't know how things work in this country. You turned him down real sweetly. I did not. Well, I mean, I'm sure he made advances. No, he didn't. He didn't? He was very nice. He didn't flirt? Your brother? Yeah. No. I'm shocked. No. He's very polite. He always flirts. So she thought that maybe I should talk to him about it. I said no. I think that's weird. Hey, dude. You might want to have a small talk. Don't talk to our nanny. No, I just want to. Hey, come on, don't. She just got here. Yeah. Different in Budapest. Yeah, maybe you, you know, maybe you don't talk to her. It's very weird, Mike. It's just you and I talking to each other. Hey. Well, what? I mean, Jay, you're not doing anything. I was working with Adam. I had some other work to do, but yes.

1:22:05We've got an audience in here, but I feel so alone. This is more than you and I have talked in a week. Last time we talked this much is when you brought me some menudo over to my house. That's true. I thought that was a joke. You really brought him menudo. I did. I brought him menudo and documentaries. I ate it like a little Mexican champion. Lapped it up like a German shepherd at the toilet bowl. I didn't even use this spoon. Okay. Is Sarah Palin's Alaska out yet, or is that not out yet? Oh, it's coming out. It is coming out? Oh, yeah. What is this, Sarah? Well, I talk about my home state of Arkansas. It's not Arkansas. It's Alaska. Alabama. That's not Alabama either. Oh, sorry. I talk about Arizona. So what do you do on the show? What's your focus? Well, it films me all around Albuquerque. You're not an Albuquerque. It's not Albuquerque. Apple cinnamon? No.

1:23:05Do they show you a day in the life or is it a focus? Sort of. It's all about my travels and the zippity-doo ways that I do things. Yeah. Here in, did you say it was Alaska? No, I said it was Alaska. Okay. What about your daughter? Do they show your daughter? Do they feature her at all? Bristol, she's got her own thing going on. She's going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Dancing with the Stars. That's right. And we're just going to do some Criminy Who here and around Alaska. Do they show you being a grandma and all that stuff? They do. And they show me being a wife to Todd and a mother to Tripp. Yes. It's all sweet. that you would expect here in Alaska. You use a lot of words that make you sound like you're down home. You betcha. And like you're really just a regular person. I'm going to make some snickerdoodles for you, Mike. But doesn't it sound like maybe you're just saying it because you just want to sound like a normal person? No, don't be a stinky poo. A stinky poo? Yeah, that's right. I don't know that stinky poo is necessarily like...

1:24:16Down home and like everybody else. I read it somewhere. All right. I don't think you read it anywhere. Maybe highlights. Anybody want to do some Tom Tom tunes? Yes. I want to do it. 570-1949. Here's how this works. You call me right now. 570-1949. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to play you. I'm going to have Tom Tom Girl read you some lyrics to a song. The deal is that it's not easy because, as you know, Tom Tom Girl is a device, not a real person. This is correct, Mikey. And so when you talk, it's very difficult sometimes to understand because you don't use inflection. For some people to understand. Yes. Mikey. So what do we got as a prize here, Jay? We've got a four-pack of Legoland tickets. All right, let's do it. 570-1949. We're real Legoland crazy today. Yeah. We got a lot. We need some Legoland. There you go. I want to go to Legoland so I can maybe see Conan O'Brien. He was hanging out there. He tweeted about it the other day. That's what you said. I was so bummed. There's a lot of celebrities there. There's a lot of celebrities that go there. Because you said that, I now want to go. Yeah? To see if he goes back? Mm-hmm. You're a big Conan fan. Oh, I love Conan. You do. He's my cousin. Because you guys have the same last name. Isn't it weird that I can't say that about one celebrity? There's no Esparzas. It's cool. It really isn't. Although, I'm sure somewhere down the line I'm related to Benicio Del Toro.

1:25:41M1 Christina, you there? Here. All right, so here's what we do. I'm going to let TomTomGirl just read some of these lyrics until I tell her to stop. And when I tell her to stop, you've got to give me either the title or the artist in order for you to win, okay? Okay. All right, here we go. TomTomGirl, take it away. I just want you close where you can stay forever. You can be sure that it will only get better, you and me together. Through the days and nights, I don't worry, because everything is going to be all right. Thank you, TomTom Girl. Title or artist on that one, Christina. I'm going to give you a hint. It's a pop singer. She's very beautiful, and she's African-American. She's African-American. She's part African-American?

1:26:50M1 Christina Beyoncé? That's a great guess, but it's incorrect. It was Alicia Keys. It was Alicia Keys. Sorry about that, Christina. How great of a song is that? So good. I thought Christine would know that. Me too. I flipped it in there for her. No offense, TomTom Girl. It didn't sound anything like Alicia Keys. That's not the point, Mikey. M1 Steve from Old Town. You there? All right, dude, it's not going to get any easier. I hate to break it to you. It doesn't get any easier. Are you ready, TomTom girl? I am ready, Mikey, with the adequate information. There you go. Let's dial it in. There was a time when I was so brokenhearted. Love was not much of a friend of mine. The tables have turned, yeah, because me and them ways have parted. That kind of love was the killing kind.

1:27:53Now listen, all I want is someone I cannot resist. All I know, I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed. We have a studio audience here. There is not one person in this studio that I believe knows what that was. All I need is the name of the band or the name of the song. Very popular song. I'm going to give you a giant hint. Are you ready? It's a rock band. The name of the band begins with an A. Sorry about that. It was, what do you think? It was, in fact, Aerosmith. It was Aerosmith, buddy. Sorry about that. Tom Tom Girl, that didn't sign in. I apologize, Mikey. It's pretty tough. It's not an easy game. Said that right from the very beginning. Woodsy just came back. With a feast. Oh my gosh. They really had whoppers? Yes. They really made it? Yeah.

1:29:05I didn't think they did that in the morning. Yeah, my mouth's watering. Oh, yeah, that's cool. I want an onion ring. Yeah, I got onion rings and fries and the whole bit. That's pretty cool. That makes my mouth water. M1, is it Dennis? Yeah. Dennis from North County. We got one more left, and that's it. Tom Tom Girl is going to read you the lyrics, and we either need the name of the band or the song. Are you ready? I'm ready. All right, here we go. All the small things true care truth brings. I will take one lift. Your ride, best trip. Always, I know, you will be at my show. Watching, waiting, commiserating. Say it ain't so. I will not go. Turn the lights off. Carry me home. Thank you, TomTom Girl. All right, Dennis, I just need title or artist for you to win. That is correct. Very well done. Very well done. Hang on the line, bro. How catchy is that, Dan? So catchy. Video's so good. Oh, it's the best video. That's number one of all time. In the flight suits. Yeah. The big teeth. So this Koran burning thing is really becoming humongous. The president's weighed in on it. Hillary Clinton's weighed in on it. It's gone as far up as Angelina Jolie. Got new developments next. Got new developments next. Got new developments next.

1:31:30Welcome to Mama Testa Taqueria, man. Oh, do I love Mama Testa. Oh, they're so good. I never knew I could eat tacos at 7.30 in the morning. It tastes real good. Mama Testas, I could eat any time of the day. They're so good. Oh, my gosh. Imagine, like, you're out 1 o'clock in the morning. Oh, yeah. Doing a little Mama Testas. My mom, my mom, my mama, my wife, like, probably once a week is like. Hey, dear, can we go and get those mashed potato tacos? I dream about them. She loves those. I have a weird question for you, rabbit hole. Okay. I know you don't. I know you don't. Which is going to humiliate me. Do you ever accidentally, Freudian slip, call your wife mom? No. Awkward. No. Sometimes I'll go, babe. Yeah, you don't do that? No. I used to accidentally call... She did it with me the other day. She did? Yeah. She called you dad? She called me... Mom? Woods? No, she called me Jake. She called me... Woods. She called me Jake. Oh, yeah. She called me Bub. That I can see. She goes, Bub, uh, hun. Yeah. We had five kids in my family, so my mom would literally go through the list. Yeah. Oh, I did that. She'd sometimes call me by my aunt's name, like her sister, and then...

1:32:57At the end, sometimes she'd be like, whatever the hell your name is. That's a good bit. My mom did that. My mom and dad would run through all their names. But I do, I used to call ex-boyfriends. Sometimes I would call them by my brother's name accidentally, and then I would realize that that meant I was nagging too much because I'd be talking to them like a brother. Really? Mm-hmm. So maybe it means you're being too needy when you accidentally call. Oh, I know it is. I don't even need to think about it. I know it is. She, this is Rebecca's roles in my life. wife, mom, lover, friend, personal assistant, attorney, accountant. Accountant, for sure. She's definitely payroll. Yes, seamstress. Expense report doer of your expenses. Yeah, she's all of that. It would not surprise me to walk in their backyard one day and see Rebecca.

1:33:57In the backyard with a pool skimmer. Yeah. Just cleaning the pool real good. It wouldn't surprise you because it happens. Mikey's sitting in a chair going, hey, Miss Spud, honey. Right over here. With an iced tea with an umbrella in it. Mikey, what's your defense? Hey, listen. That guy's just putting a roof over her head real good. I can't even joke that. Can you not? No. Will she slit your throat? No, but I can't because I just watch her going 80. Dude, and yesterday, like. I get so bummed because I'm like, wouldn't it be great if she could rely on me for even just the smallest thing? And she couldn't yesterday. I got home and I walked in the house and Nita said, glad you're at home because there is someone here that needs to talk with you. That's not how I talk. That's not the way I talk. And so I said, oh, who is it? And she said, they're in backyard and they are. with a company for pool. And I said, okay. So I go back there and the guy goes, he says, yeah, he's on the phone and he had Rebecca on the phone when I walked back there. And he says, I'm here to install like a gate. And I said, okay. I mean, in my world, it's like, dude, you could be here to build a pumpkin pie on the roof, whatever.

1:35:22I'm sure my wife ordered a pumpkin pie for the roof. Do it. Just do whatever it is you gotta do. Whatever you gotta do, I'll be inside. Sure, man. Have a bowl. Yeah. I'll be taking a nude nap. With my laptop. My laptop. Searing my peace. And so she goes, he says, hang on a minute, she needs to talk to you. And instantly I go, because I'm like, oh no, can I handle it? So I go, hello. She goes, babe. She goes, this guy's not supposed to be here until 2, and it's 11.30. And she goes, I'm not there, and I need to tell him how this fence is going to go in. And I go, uh-huh. Please don't ask me to do it. Please don't ask me to do it. Please don't ask me to do it. And she goes, I've had to rearrange this thing four times. She goes, so he's going to have to come back at 2.

1:36:30No problem, babe. I got it. Oh, gosh. You didn't. So I hang up. You didn't? And I go, yeah, whatever you guys need to do. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. No. He goes, well, she said that I had to go. And I go, well, yeah, maybe come back. Just play it safe, you know? Keep us both out of trouble. Right. Just come back. And I knew it had to be done by the weekend. So I go, yeah, I think she wants a gate or something. Yeah, because you're having a pool party with kids there. Yeah. She wants a gate. She goes, well, can you just tell me where it goes? Nope. Uh-uh. I could listen to him talk about him and Rebecca all day because it cracks me up. Their dynamic is so great. It's hysterical. It's a sitcom. You want to know the worst part? Last week she says, babe, can I show you something in the backyard? And instantly I'm like, in my head, I don't want to. Ha! Yeah, absolutely, babe. What is it? She goes, I'm going to have a gate put in next week, and I just want you to see it. Okay. I just want you to see how it's going to go. So I go back there. Don't remember one thing that she told me. I don't remember one part of it. It's how self-absorbed. It's the worst. Dude, I think you're rubbing off on me. No, I don't want you to go through what I go through. I think you are. Yesterday, Jamie was talking to me for a good solid.

1:38:00Two and a half minutes. Solid. I was laying on the couch. I didn't hear a word. I was so tired. I looked up at her and I go, what? And she looked at me like, I hate you sometimes. I hate you. I did. Do you feel bad? Yes. Me too. Me too. Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. Yesterday, Rebecca was trying to talk to me. And when I tell you what I was doing. That I couldn't give her my attention. You're going to go. I have an idea. No, I bet you don't. What do you think it was? Something on your iPad. No electronics involved? Nope. I was watching the last 20 minutes of Jaws, the untold story. You've been talking. Yeah, he's been bending my ear about this for a week now. Bending my ear. Documentary on Bio HD. Well, you got to see it. You got to see it. It's so good. I mean, I can kind of. My part? Yeah. I whisper it because. You don't want her to get mad at you. I'm sorry, Rebecca. I know. You could pause while she's talking. I did. You could pause. That's true. That's true. Here's the deal. When you do the pause. Get Rebecca on the phone. You're out of the moment. I do the pause. No, I do the pause like this. I do the big.

1:39:23And I do the quick flip, like the hard pause. Oh, don't do the hard pause. And I'm like, yeah. The sigh with the exasperated push of the button is much more effective. Oh, I'm such a jerk. Then you got to look down and then slowly go, what do you need? I don't do that. What couldn't wait until after Derek Cheater's at bat? What couldn't wait? You say that? Sometimes. Oh, gosh. I'm passive-aggressive when it comes to that. You, L.O.B., and you, Woodsy, have such different dynamics. Because if I said to Rebecca, what couldn't wait until after, she would look at me, and she wouldn't say a word. She'd get up and walk out of the room, and I'd go. She's going to kill me in my sleep. Yeah, the next time you see her, it would be a ninja chap to your throat. Yeah. Next time I saw her is when I woke up under a pillow going... What couldn't wait? But wouldn't you agree, though, that... What couldn't wait, fat boy? What couldn't wait? I'll tell you what can't wait. It's your funeral, pal. Your funeral! But wouldn't you agree that in order for me to be married to a woman, I would have to marry a woman that is able to give as good as she gets? What do you mean? Oh, well...

1:40:42Because you're, what do you mean? Somebody that would have to be pretty quick and be able to throw stuff back at me. Like, oh, because what she'll do to me is like, okay, great, you're a D-head or you're an A-hole or something. And I'm like. I would love to be around for that. It's hysterical. No offense. Wouldn't, now when L.O.B., though, when she says that she does the passive-aggressive thing, it would shatter me. It would? Oh, yeah, because it seems so like. Slice you to the bone. Yeah, cut you right to the bone. I'll leave a chill on your bone. A chill that comes from it. How would your boyfriends react when you would do it? The good thing about Jamie, though, is that she doesn't get her feelings hurt. If she does, she doesn't tell me about it. She knows it's 99% a bit most of the time that I'm just like, what? I'm busy, you know, and I'm laying on the couch with my hand in my shorts, you know? My hand in my shorts. Every guy does that. Al Bundy style. Every guy. Every guy. Some girls do it. Every guy. Girls do that, too? That's fascinating. Really? That's awesome, L.O.B., if you will admit that girls will sit like that. I don't sit like that. Oh, boy. Oh, gosh. Why am I talking about this? Why is she all red? You don't do Al Bundy?

1:41:56Okay, I don't need to know. Thank you. Sometimes I sleep like that. You do? When I'm cold. Yeah, I do it when I'm cold. I just do it. Just do it. Play with the boys. I don't play with anything. All right. Thank you. A little pocket pool. Got you. Okay. Thanks. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Thank everybody here. Thank you. Testimony goodbye. Testimony goodbye. Sometimes things just come out. All right. You don't think about it. My wife, Rebecca, is on the line. Uh-oh. You're dead. Hi, honey. Hi, baby. I'm dead, man. Honey, I love you. No, no, no. I love you. I love your face. Oh, I love you, too. I love Rebecca. I love your face off. You know that? I know. I love you so, so much. Oh, man. Honey, yesterday, were you irritated at me when I was watching Jaws, the untold story? Mm-hmm. Oh, man.

1:42:59Because I wasn't, I could have been, I'll admit it, I could have been more attentive. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No. You know, that wasn't as bad, though, as the football. Because you were actually whispering things under your breath. Oh. I was talking. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Hey, will you pass me that can of worms? I'd like to open it up real good. Listen. Whenever you hear me in here and you hear the National Football League. Yeah, Jack Nicholson. I'm Jack Nicholson from The Shining. Yep. Wendy, let me explain something to you. Honey, I'm glad that this is coming up because. Wow. I was talking about it this morning and I thought it was really interesting how you were saying that, you know, it was Jake's birthday yesterday and he really like felt like, wow, it's a day about me and I'm.

1:44:01I'm super entitled. It's the first day of the season, babe. And then directly went into a story about how the kids, you know, your three kids, three and under, were bugging you during the football season. And I wondered, what are they all about after all? I noted the irony as well, Rebecca. I did too, Rebecca. Babe, this was Luke. How old is Luke again? He's a year old. He should know better. And I might add that unlike, you know, what Luke typically sounds like, which is, you know, screaming like not very pleasant. Yesterday, he was actually like screaming like playful. All I wanted to do.

1:44:57I know what you want to do. I know. I mean, that's... That's what you want to do every day. No! NFL doesn't start every day. Right? No, but Swamp People's on every day. That is true. Wait, which one is this? Oh, Swamp People. Wow. Is this true? Luke is on the line. Luke's on the line. Hi. This is my one-year-old son, Luke. Hi, Luke. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? Hi, Mom. Hi. Hi, Lucy. What phone are you on? I'm on the one in the Escalade. What? Whoa, really? Yep. That's not very safe. Yeah, it isn't. Dad, I just wanted you to know that your bags are actually sitting out by the mailbox. Is that right, Luke? Yep. Why? Where are we going? Are we going on a vacation? Oh, we're not going anywhere. Where am I going? It's pretty much up to you. Let me ask you a favor, Luke. I'm really sorry I got on your nerves during that football game. I'll try not to let my crying interrupt your football. Listen. Listen. I wanted to see the very first game of the season. I didn't think that that was a lot to ask. No. It was the first quarter. That's all I was going to be able to watch. Yeah. And you were, you know, being...

1:46:18Rather precocious. Being a baby. You're acting like a baby. Being one year old and everything. Yeah. I know it gets in the way sometimes. You know, I thought, you know, I wanted to be a part of it, but I didn't. I love you, Mom. Aw. I love you too, Lukey. You know, sometimes I feel so misunderstood. Yeah, you and Pink. Hey, when are you getting out of there? I get out of here at the same time. I want to go to... Like some kind of amusement park or something. Really? I want to get the hell out of the house. Maybe Legoland. I'm losing my mind. There's people running around here like crazy. Mom can take you to Legoland today. No, mom can't. Okay, that's weird. Oh, mom, I'll be in the car. Okay, I'll see you there. Bye-bye. It's my son, Luke. He's a year old. Oh, he's so sweet. Yes, he is, but he's demanding. He's a handful. Honey, doesn't this mean anything to you?

1:47:16I mean, just, I mean, anything. I mean, anything. You know, I mean, I love football. You know that. I do. I just, you know, in the last three years, I haven't had any, like, real opportunity to sit and watch a game. But I would love to. I mean, that's awesome. Minus the passive. Passive aggressive. Minus the passive. I like her approach. I love this woman. A plus for the approach. I love it. I love you, sweetheart. You're my favorite girl. I know. I know you love football, and I want you to have that time. Do you? I do. Do you? I really do. I do. I know. No, I love you, baby. I want you to have a swift kick to the neck, too. Absolutely. And not the neck. Yeah. All right, honey. Nads. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. She wants to go have dinner with Steve when he gets here. Your brother? Which is fine. It just means that, man, when it's all done, I get to drive him all the way to mom and dad. No, no, no, no, that's fine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1:48:39It's fine. No, it's fine. No, no, no, no. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Just a major surgery. Yeah, major surgery. I'll just go to work, though. Just got off pain pills. Got up at 1.30. But you know what? Listen, what do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? What do I care? I love it. I want to. I want to. I want to. I love it so much. I'm going to try to. Oh, gosh. I love it. On your way to mom and dad from the airport in a cab. Yeah. Maybe mom and dad could look farther away. Steve is how old? He is 47. Roughly from the airport. How far do you live? How far do we live from the airport? About 45 minutes. Right. And mom and dad, an hour from the airport. From the airport? Yeah, an hour from the airport. That's fine, though. You know, you don't get to see him that often. I saw him two weeks ago. But so, you know what? So, to me, to me, to me, it's like, it's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. Have fun. Have fun with that. Sounds super. Be home by midnight. An hour. An hour and a half before when you usually wake up. Right. That's an hour and a half before I usually wake up. Nice 23-hour day for you. 23-hour day. It's no big deal. Rebecca's like, you know what we should do? We should go to Los Angeles to an all-night diner. Steve would go, yeah, let's go. You know what? F it. Let's go to Vegas. Let's just go to Vegas. Babe, do you want to go to Vegas? Let's be impulsive. Let's be impulsive, Mike. Would you like to drive to Vegas? My key impulsive is...

1:50:08Watching TV in his office instead of watching in his bedroom. Absolutely. He's like, I'm going to throw it all out there today. Yeah. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to live a little bit. Yeah. A little crazy. I'm going to go to the office. Ah! So great. Mama Testa, by the way. I was telling you about Mama Testa. They're at University Avenue. 1417 University Avenue in Hillcrest. You can go check them out. And they got a lot of cool stuff. So go check them out. Delicious food. Vegetarian choices, gluten-free items. So good. Free range meats. That's right. All right. So let's see what direction I want to go here because I got a few directions I can go in. I really want to. Okay. So I need to tell you about what the latest is with the dude, the crazy guy that wants to burn the Koran. He says he's a reverend, but to me it's. really bad what he wants to do, burn this Koran on 9-11 tomorrow. But then he made this announcement yesterday. Take a listen. With the Amman here, I will be flying up there on Saturday. New York City. To meet with the Amman at the Ground Zero Mosque. He has agreed to move the location. That, of course, cannot happen overnight. But he has agreed to move that. We felt that that...

1:51:32would be a sign that God would want us to do it. The American people do not want the mosque there. So let me get this straight. I just want to understand Reverend Nutty. So he was going to do something awful. You know, he was going to burn the Quran, right? So he's going to do something bad. But he will not do something bad if his demands are met, that they move the mosque. That sounds like terrorism. A hundred percent. Absolutely. And kind of like a six-year-old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stop crying if you buy me what I want. Yeah, you do what I want. It's like a ransom demand. It's like a ransom. Yeah. It's a ransom. Absolutely. And, of course, Muslims do not want us to burn. Muslims.

1:52:20Moslems? Welcome to the South. I'm from the South. I know, bro, but President Obama is weighing in on a guy that says Moslems. Moslems. A pastor of a 40-member church, 50-member church? Yeah. Yeah. This guy in New York's like, really? I've got to meet with this guy from where? Are you kidding me? Smart, though. The Amman has agreed to move the mosque. To this dude. To this dude in, like, overalls. Yeah. Well, it just probably shows how sacred the Koran is to him, and he'd rather... I don't believe that he's actually going to move it because of this guy. Oh, wait, wait. That's next. We have agreed to cancel our event on Saturday. Event. And on Saturday, I will be flying up there to meet with him. It's a feel-good event of the summer. Yeah, first time in an airplane, too. Yeah, first time in an airplane. First time seeing one.

1:53:22What's the bird with the... It's a giant metal bird. Where'd you get the helicopter? Where'd you get the metal bird? My goodness. But then later in the day, he makes this announcement. We canceled it based upon the word that we got. It's not an ice cream social. Yeah. Okay? It's a pretty big deal. L.O.B.'s doing the index finger to the head. We would, of course, be forced to rethink our decision because... Our demands. Oh, my gosh. He's saying that the Amman reneged on his demands. Like I said, we canceled it based upon his word. I understand that he is now going around saying that he did not say that. That is absolutely not true. That is absolutely... I have several witnesses that were there. In the room we made it very clear. He repeated it back that the Amon there in New York said that they would move the mosque So as of right now, we have just put a temporary hold Upon our planned event. Oh, I want to talk to him so bad

1:54:34The nation was kind of divided. Actually, wasn't there a statistic like 70% of Americans or something were opposed to the mosque at Ground Zero? Yes, 70. So why would this one hayseed be able to sway the decision? It's true. It's true. So Obama went on Good Morning America yesterday to talk about it. What do you think? Let me ask you about Pastor Terry Jones. He says he's going to go through with burning the Korans. Is there anything you can say to him? Isn't that man whispering? I don't know. It's him not to. If he's listening, I just hope he understands that what he's proposing to do is completely contrary to our values as Americans, that this country has been built on the notions of religious freedom and religious tolerance. You know what Obama is doing? Something that I do. He's trying to rationalize with a nut. Yeah.

1:55:37And you do that a lot. Yeah, because sometimes we'll get people that'll call and they'll be nutty. And I'll be like, no, no, no, no. I can talk sense into them. If you just give me enough time, I can explain to them and they'll see the air in their ways and they'll go, oh, that's, yeah, clearly I was wrong. Has it ever happened? No. No, exactly. They're nutty. You know, they're nuts. And as a very practical matter, as commander in chief of the armed forces of the United States, I just want him to understand that this stunt that he is talking about pulling could greatly endanger our young men and women in uniform who are in Iraq, who are in Afghanistan. I wonder what he thinks of that, by the way. Even if he's nuts. The Reverend? Yeah. Yeah, I know. And U.S. citizens all over the world. I mean, in addition to armed forces that are there in combat zone, just anywhere. Should be a law. Should be a law. Yeah. That what? You can't do that kind of thing. That's something in danger. Yeah. You know what I mean? We're already seeing protests against Americans just by the mere threat that he's making. What are you worried about? Well, look, this is a recruitment bonanza for Al-Qaeda. This guy, a pastor of a 50-man church, can have this great an impact on our...

1:57:05world, not our country, our world. So he went to his, like, he went to the Miami paper, which then, I guess, took it nationally. To the AP, and then, you know, now, if that image goes down tomorrow. Of them burning the Koran? I don't think, I don't know. Maybe I'm being optimistic. Scared to death of what may happen. Well, his deal now is he's saying that since they have reneged on their agreement to move the mosque, He's postponing it, but, you know, that means that it'll happen. Who's going to, is he going to film it himself and put it on, like, YouTube, or is there actual... It'll probably be a million news crews. That's stupid. They shouldn't... Give them the time, give them the, yeah, the publicity. M1 Jacob from San Carlos. Yeah, I believe that it's right how, since he's an American, he can sit there and make threats towards someone. It's just, like, and also how everyone's, like, saying, oh, it's bad, and we're trying to hold these people.

1:58:08to like we're just trying we're threatening to destroy their their religious like building i guess i don't even know what to call it and how he's threatening to burn the quran i i like our country was founded on religious freedom honestly i understand that it's two blocks away from ground zero but like i said i don't i don't feel that the muslim faith was responsible for the attacks they they do pray to the same god but they attack this for different reasons So I don't think that it's right that we're going to... Thank you, Jacob. They don't pray the same God, though. No, it's a good point he makes. Listen, if you have not seen or heard Councilman Phil Davidson from Ohio, who wants the nomination for the county treasurer, all over YouTube, viral video, him freaking out? Flipping out.

1:59:09One of the greatest things that my eyes have ever seen and my ears have ever heard. It's phenomenal. Jamie asked me last night, what the hell is that? Yeah. What are you listening to? Yeah. You gotta see this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll play it for you next. This is the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. I like it. Be a part of the show. I like it. Be a part of the show. I like it. Be a part of the show. I like it. Be a part of the show. I am wearing a cape. You sure are. Literally. M1 what? Say again. M1 Pennywise. M1 Pennywise. Guy brought us all really nice gifts and he brought me a cape. He said the funniest thing when he handed it to me. He goes, I hope you don't already have this. These guys came in from L.A., man. No way. M1 Pennywise manages this band, Full Force Rising. Nice. Dude, that's rad. Guy brought me a cape. A literal cape. Yeah. It's the greatest thing ever. You look awesome. Yeah.

2:00:45You have to wear it every day. Yeah, I'll have Jay come in. I'll put my arms straight out. And he'll secure my cape. He'll tie your corset up. Get your crown on. He looks like a Mexican Liberace. You need me to come hang that up? Yes, can you hang my robes? It's so great. Now we've got to get a matching scepter. 100%. Oh, that was great. Where are you going? Where would you buy a scepter? Scepters are us. Scepter Warehouse. Scepter and Cloak Warehouse. Scepter and Cloak Warehouse. I have a question. Yes, Hoyle. Oh, boy. Is it not pronounced Moslem? No, Hoyle, it's not Moslem. It's Muslim. I thought it was Moslem. Well, that's because you're from the South. Isn't it Moslems? No, it's not Moslems. They read the Quran. No. Nope. The Quran. The what? Quran. I said the Quran. Koran. What's the difference between what you said and what I said? I'm saying it right and you're saying it wrong. Let's say it together. Koran. We said the same word. You're saying cure like the bam. Muslim. Muslim. We said the same word. No, we didn't. At the same time. How do you say the days of the week? Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. And Sunday.

2:02:15Nope. Sunday. Sunday. No, it's not. Sunday. Sunday. S-U-N-D-A-Y. Sunday. Sunday. Sounds like S-U-N-D-E-E is what you're saying. Right. No, I said the same thing. We said the same word. No. It's your accent. Let's do the days of the week. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Said the same thing. Sound like. I don't know how you do that. I wanted to say what he was saying. I was like, me? I almost did. You are messed up. M1 John from Temecula. John is no longer there. He wanted to say it. He wanted to hear your voice. He really picked up. Oh my God, it's Mikey. Click. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Zeppelin, Zeppelin. It's actually Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin. Yeah. Zeppelin, Zeppelin. Big time, everybody. First album. That's right. Let's see. Okay. So I'm going to play you this congressman. Yes. Okay? No, no, no. I'm sorry. He is so not a congressman. Not a congressman. He is not a congressman. In his own mind. In his own mind, he's a congressman. Councilman! He's a councilman. His name is Phil Davison, and he is from Minerva, Ohio.

2:03:40Dude wants to be Stark County Treasurer. That's county he lives in. Who doesn't? Yeah, who doesn't? And so he didn't get the nomination, but his speech to try to get the nomination is now infamous and making the rounds on YouTube and every Facebook in the world. This thing is... Making its way around. Well, he marked it. Whoever did it made it private on YouTube because it was becoming viral. But the Huffington Post snagged it. It was just clicked on Yahoo. It was the first thing. Really? Take a listen. Ladies and gentlemen of the Star County Republican Party Executive Committee, good evening. Now let me paint the picture for you. Podium. inside of what appears to be like a city hall type setting. He's in a suit. And he is obviously very impassioned and steps away from the podium, comes back to the podium, steps away from the podium, comes back to the podium. The reason he comes back to the podium is he has to continue to look at his notes as he gives what appears to be a very organic, from the heart type of speech. And thank you, not only for your attendance,

2:04:58but for allowing me the opportunity to speak. My name is Phil Davidson. Okay. And I am seeking our party's nomination for the position of Stark County Treasure on November 10th. November of 2010. Excuse me. It's okay. Don't worry about it. It's a common mistake. It's a common mistake. It's fine. I am from the village of Minerva, where I am serving my 13th year. I have a question, sir. Why are you angry? We're not fighting you. We came to watch your speech. We're not fighting you. Nobody's saying no. Yeah. We will applaud you. Yeah. You're the boss. I have a bachelor's degree in sociology, a bachelor's degree in history, a master's degree in public administration.

2:05:59In a master's degree in communication. Uh-oh. Might want to get money back for that one. Are you going to refund on that? Yeah. I have a question. You know how sometimes you picture something in your head and then it obviously doesn't go the way you pictured it? What? Because I'm trying to go, well, what was he going for? Like, you know what I mean? Like, what, like. Was he, what was that, uh, was it Edward? Who did the, and then we're going to get. Oh, yeah. Howard Dean. Howard Dean. And everyone goes, oh. But everybody thought Howard Dean was nuts. It cost him the nomination. Oh, he was going to run for president. Absolutely. And he flipped out like that, and it was all over. I wonder if he was one of the people that were like, that's what I'm talking about. Right. Maybe he thought. That was the good bit. Yeah, it was a good bit. In terms of elections across Stark County. I have represented our party twice on the county ballot. I mean. So aggressive about that. Treasurer. Treasurer. Guy's going to run for treasurer. Just counting pennies real good. You're watching. I'll come out here and rough talk him and run him off. You just need a calculator, sir. Yeah. In both the primary and the general elections.

2:07:27when I ran for Stark County Clerk of Courts in 1996 and Stark County Commissioner in 2000, and I will not apologize for my tone tonight. All right. There goes that. Oh, this is where it gets gnarly. Yeah, this is. All right, here's part two. There we go. It comes in a few different parts. Here we go. Einstein issued one of my most favorite quotes in the history of the spoken word. L.A.V. Okay, question, question. If you had been there, could you have kept from laughing? Heck no. No way, right? I was picked because you don't see, in the video, you don't see the audience. And I was like, how many people were just jabbing the wrist as the person next to them? Are you freaking kidding me? It's one of those things where, like, you've seen something like that go down you could explain it to your friends as well as what you're seeing. You're like, no one would believe this. Someone caught it. Your friends would go, oh, yeah, that's great. This guy was flipping out, and you're like, yeah, good story. Great story. Easy hands, Christian Anderson. And I feel so bad, too, because afterwards his wife had to be like, good job, baby. Yeah, yeah. Was I too over the top? No, no, you were great. You were great.

2:08:43You were great. Thank you enough passion. Was I passionate? No, honey, it was really good. I totally messed up the Albert Einstein quote. No, no, it was really good. You think people thought it was too much? No, no. No, I think it was probably, you know, you could always tone it down a little bit. A little, just a little bit. For the most part. You're good. I thought it went really. I said November 10th. I meant 2010. Everyone got that, babe. How do you think tonight went? It's fine. I thought it was. I thought it was great. Do you want to get Hardee's on the way home? What are you feeling? KFC, is that okay? I want to eat a raw steak! And it is as follows. In the middle of opportunity. He's not kidding. He's crying. I haven't heard all the way to here. Oh, dude. You missed the best part. Did he just go, huh? Yeah, he's so flustered. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. I'm going to repeat that so I have clarity tonight. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. This is the opportunity we've been waiting for.

2:09:55He should be on a horse with half his face painted blue. Absolutely. Or in a locker room somewhere. Right? In a locker room. Get that guy a clipboard. And some coat shorts. Should be hanging out with Bobby Knight just drinking the fresh iced tea. Absolutely. The treasure's office is a mess. It is in dire need of structure and guidance. And now is the time to seize this opportunity. He's on a horse. In Ireland. In Scotland. In Scotland. And if you were William Wallace, wouldn't you say for county treasurer? If you were running for county treasurer, wouldn't you be impassioned like this? Like an arse. Like an arse. My goodness. Oh, that was great. If nominated tonight, I promise each and every person in this room. Oh, wow.

2:10:54I will hit the ground running, come out swinging, and end up winning. Nobody doubts that at all, that you'll come out swinging or running. Yeah. You don't have to convince us. First question from a reporter. What kind of crack cocaine? Mine would be, what do you pay for a gram of meth in Ohio? That's what I want to know. Well, when he finishes, I love the terrified applause that comes. Nobody looked up everyone's like this This is one guy that's one guy that works room

2:11:59drastic measures can we please have that as a clip drastic measures drastic times require drastic measures i think that the state of the treasury ship must be a mess there for him to be that Impassion. There's just piles of cash. There's piles of cash lying around. There's bills. I will win this election. And I'm going to say that again so there's no miscommunication tonight. Innominated tonight, I win. Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Tell Randy Gonzalez.

2:12:51Tight end for the Chiefs. Falcons. Yeah, what does a tight end for the Falcons have? Never mind. Cool, man. Never mind. Both barrels, guns loaded. Weird. No, he means, like, literally, guns loaded. Yeah, both barrels. Yeah. The principles of the National Republican Party, the State of Ohio Republican Party, and the Stark County Republican Party. And if noted, I will not hide those beliefs on my march to victory on election day. What about decaffeinated coffee? I can guarantee with 100% certainty that what you are seeing from me tonight is what everyone outside those doors is going to get over the next eight weeks. All right, we're good then. Never mind. M1 Duntastic from San Diego makes a great observation. Reminds you of who Duntastic? Oh, my gosh. The van down by the river. Matt Foley. Matt Foley. Oh, my gosh. That's hilarious. Absolutely. That's where I got my bill. I used to be an idealistic thinker. I am now a pragmatic thinker. Government may be about service. Politics is about winning.

2:14:10He's coming down. He's coming down. Humbly. Very humble. It's the most humble speech I've ever heard. Listen to those terrified claps. Oh, my God. I've never heard anything like it. That's incredible. I love it. I'm 40. I want to talk to him. Never heard anything. Yes. He's going to become a national. He'll have a reality show in six weeks. M1. Paparazzi from Oceanside. Hi. Yeah, exactly. What's up? I hear that and I also hear pucker, pucker, pucker. It's true. That's the coach that flipped out on his team. You know what the reality show should be called? What? Start crazy. I love it. Oh, look at you, L.O.B. I love it. Now, imagine if he was the treasure and you were working under him. And you screwed up a calculation by one penny. He'd throw pennies at your face. Idiot! Handfuls of pennies at your face. What must it be like to work for him? Terrible. He's a loon. He's lost it. Here's your coffee, sir. Was it Splenda or... I said New Jersey! That's gold. That's awesome. Oh, man. I know.

2:15:40Got a great email for you. I'll do it for you when we come back. We got a movie plot hot potato coming up too. So don't go away. It's a Mikey show. Woods, do you want to go see Inception today? No. I'm going to go buy your kids some birthday presents. You want to think about it? I can tell. What? What happened? Somebody threw my food away. Oh, I did. What? He almost threw mine away too. It was stinky. And then he didn't take the trash out. So he throws it away, but it's still in the room. You guys yell at me when I don't clean up. You yell at me when I do clean up. Everybody get it. Maybe keep your eyes on your own paper. I know. It stunk, though. It's still here, though. You had those onion rings and stuff? You still do? Come on. Fries, like old fries, are stinky. That's the deal on Fridays. Just eat, and you don't need to savor it for an hour and a half. Just eat it. I have to run around during the breaks now.

2:16:44Want to go see Inception? No, I'm not going to see Inception. I'm going to get your kid's birthday presents. I'm coming to hang out at your house. My treat. No, I don't want to see that dumb movie. It's not a dumb movie. Isn't it? It's really good. It is. Nobody's oversold it. It's good. You have. You ask me every day if I want to go see it now. I just don't go see it as a bit. That's not true. I didn't ask you Wednesday. Yesterday? No, I asked you Tuesday, Monday. You had an apartment. And Sunday and Saturday, but I didn't ask you Wednesday. You are like a child, both of you. He is like a child. I didn't ask you Wednesday. Mikey Show. I feel kind of shallow writing in about this, but oh well. I'm interested in a guy that I work with. He's good looking, smart, funny, successful. We hit it off very well from the start and have done some obvious flirting on after work events. The problem I have with him is he is 35.

2:17:43and still lives at home. Oh. I found out very shortly after meeting him and have been trying to figure out what's wrong with him ever since. As far as I can tell, he's perfectly normal. I just don't know if I can bring myself to date a 35-year-old man that still lives at home, you know? I keep hearing Woods' voice in the back of my head saying, Grow up, Pete. Great. Great. Thanks, love you guys, M1 Gator Girl. Gator Girl, here's the thing. If a 35-year-old guy, this is one man's opinion, If a 35-year-old guy is living with his parents and they're not terminally ill, or he is staying there because he needs to just for a short time, like maybe he's in transition. Yeah, moved maybe. He's moving and he's like in the middle and he's going to camp out for...

2:18:33I don't know. What's my internal... What's my rule say? Two months. Two, three months. That's a long... No. You want to get... Three months is a cutoff. Three months? Bro, let's say... 35 years of age? Let's say he moved here. A couple of weeks. Let's say he got a new job. You know, you can't go get the whole thing in one paycheck. You got to save. You got to do a little, you know... Got to save? At 35, you haven't gotten enough to be able to stay at a... Mikey, I couldn't go get a... Frigging Starbucks after this show. At 35. Bro. But I do have my own place. At 35, you should be able to stay with your parents for three weeks and have enough money to be able to get into an apartment. It depends what has happened in your life. If you've fallen on hard times. What if he was married to some woman and she took all of his money? What if you got robbed? Okay. If you got robbed. You're okay. Or you married some woman that took all your money. Or your parents are terminally ill. Someone stole your house. Someone stole your house. You came home and it was gone. Then, yeah. It happens. Yeah, you have to ask why. But, okay, what if this, Mike? What if he shares the same beliefs as you? He wants to wait until marriage to consummate. Yeah. And he thinks the best way to do that is to stay living at home. It's weird. He's weird.

2:19:54That's weird. I don't know. I was just trying to play one side of the fence of why this guy couldn't be a weirdo. You know why some 35-year-olds stay with their mom and dad? Because they're saving money or whatever, but they don't move out. They stay there for a long time. You know what? And the tough part for her is the conversation of, so, why do you live here? We can't go to your place. Why can't we go to your place? We can go to my place. I just have roommates. Yeah, your roommates, your parents. Why do you live with your parents? Because I pay $200 a month. So you're cheap. No, I'm saving a lot of money. I'm smart. Smart. I'm fiscal. I know you're smart. I've talked to you before, but so you're cheap? No, I've saved $8,000 in the last year. Oh, gosh, that's amazing. Yeah. You're cheap. No, I am. I'm resourceful. Yeah, that's one way to put it. You're cheap. Let me tell you. And lazy. Let me tell you. A little. You and I are going to have one of the best wedding honeymoons ever. Oh, wow. Slow down. Because of my fiscal. Your frugality. Frugality. You're just scaring me. It's weird. Isn't it? She's got to find out why. There are a couple reasons why it could be okay. Sure. Call us if you're 35, you live at home. Please do. Please. I want to know why. And you have to send a pic along with it.

2:21:22We know. And especially if you're black. That too. Why do you want a 35-year-old guy that lives at home to send you a pig? At this point, she doesn't care. She's like, whatever. Chomping at the bit here. She's like, I feel sorry for you, all right? Real good. Chomping at the bit. You treat me like a queen. Okay, you treat me like your other mom. Oh, gosh. I'm one Rick from PB. Are you there? I'm here. Go ahead. I got a buddy who's 40, got married. Mikey? Successful guy. One day his wife showed him and said, I don't love you anymore. The guy's devastated. They have two kids. So he gets, you know, he's not doing well, loses his job, gets downsized, and he's got to move in with his parents. And, you know, it's an economy. He was underwater in his house, so he fundamentally went belly up in his house. You know, what do you do? You know, he blew all his money in the divorce, and he's living with his parents.

2:22:20See, that's a good explanation. That's a great explanation. If I got that kind of explanation from the guy, I'd go, okay. But wouldn't it also make you go, man, there's a, well, A, there's a lot of baggage there, and B, there's a lot of poor choices there? Wouldn't you think that about the guy? Not poor choices if the lady just up and left. No, I know, but he wasn't prepared. He hadn't, at 40 years of age, he didn't have any kind of nest egg underneath him. He spent it in the divorce. He spent it. Yeah, you bet you loved her. They started a clothing line together. She ran up a 75K worth of debt for her business. What can he do there? I think that dude in that case did nothing wrong. I've seen it. Except probably follow his heart when he had a lot of red flags. Oh, Mikey, stop it. People are human. Why is that weird? People are human. I know they are, but you watch and you go, ah, maybe that's a red flag. Maybe he's a romantic. Boy, hey, me and you better be lucky our ladies didn't follow their red flags. I'll tell you that right now. My lady didn't marry me until my red flags were gone. Are they ever really gone? Some of them are. They turn yellow. Yeah, they turn yellow. You have some pink flags. I've got some pink flags. You wave them up high. When we go to parades and stuff, we always do. Holler. Holler.

2:23:45Hey. Hey. I thank my lucky stars. My wife was able to maybe move 100, 200 of those red flags out of the way. Yeah, but you know what, dude? Your flags are not Woods isn't home, so I bet he's slaying some girl. No. Your flags are you're on the couch and you're not paying much attention. You're watching the Yankees. Now they are. Yeah, now they are. Yeah. Ten years ago, Kid was kind of a lunatic. Kid had white powder flowing out of his nose all over his mustache. Wow. Easy, Burt Reynolds. So the red flags are not the same anymore. Glad everybody knows that. But still. Yeah. What do you think we're sharing that white powder with you, buddy? Yeah. Good luck to party back in the day. The pot over there talking to the kettle. Oh, yay, I'm Shane. How you doing? How you doing? Hi, I'm the pot. I'm the kettle. Nice to meet you. You're black. Yeah, you are too. No, but. Yes. But those things that don't exist now. And yeah, if I hadn't changed and then I turned out to be a louse, somebody would have had the right to look at Rebecca and go.

2:24:59Really with that guy? Yeah. You didn't see that guy coming? Some people are. I mean, it's like serial killers. What do people always say? You know, he was the nicest guy. Quiet. L-O-B. Never would have known. L-O-B. But you know. Okay. Outside of serial killers. Outside of BTK. Okay. I'm just saying people have, human beings have the ability to lead dual lives. I'll put it to you this way. Honest cap on. First night you met, Stephen Wood's here. Cat was charming. Am I right? Yes. There had to have been a part of your brain that went, he's a pretty sharp cat. Fat. But I'm not talking about just the looks. I mean, the whole personality, everything. Yeah. About seven months later, you may still think that he's a dynamic personality and even think that he's handsome. But you also know what the downsides are, too.

2:26:03Correct? Yeah. Very few. That's what I mean. But. We figure some things. But you know what we do? Woods is an open book. That's true. He is an open book. But okay. Am I an open book? Yeah. Okay. You're very. You're not. You're not. What is the opposite of an open book? You're very. You're very private and guarded. You're very private and guarded. But I know what the deal is. Okay. So. if I were so inclined to date an LOB, I would know by this point what the ups and the downs are. You know what my ups and downs are. You know how I can be kind of a jerk, and you know exactly where my jerkiness lies. And you know where it doesn't lie. Like, you would know, I'm not going to cheat on you. That's not going to be your fear with me. But everybody that gets cheated on, they don't, well, not everybody, but a lot of people don't see it coming. That'd be the last thing you, I've seen. I've been with people who... All I can speak from is experience and the relationship that I was in where the girl cheated. If I look at it, I'm like... You saw it. You could have seen it. Holy cow, man. You should have seen it. L-O-B. I was blinded. I didn't want to believe it. I was like, that's not what... And then, especially when they reinforce, they reinforce how untrue that is. I mean, you've been cheated on before. Hindsight. Don't you kind of look back on times that you've been cheated on and go...

2:27:30I don't know, man. But hindsight, it's 2020. True. You know, at the time, so you can't. No, but at the time, I think maybe I had some reservations but decided, nah. Hey, you go for it. I'm going to go for it. But it's hard to generalize. I mean, in the case of this guy, you know, it sounds like that guy that the caller was calling about, guy had a pretty tough run of luck. Yeah. You know? Yeah, so this girl should somehow find out why. M1 Christine from PB. Hi. Hi. I'm a 37-year-old mom of two, and I moved home three years ago because it was better to be living at home with my kids than be married to who I was married to. Different for girls. Yeah, I was going to say, this brings up an interesting point, if it's a woman or if it's a guy, because the guy you think of as the hunter-gatherer. Independent, going to provide. Provider. Yeah. You would hope so, yeah. Yeah, and I think, let's put it this way. If I was single. And I met a girl that lived at home with her parents at 30, 32. I'd be like, okay, great. She's crashing my place. I wouldn't think. Now, if it were me, I want to know what the deal is. Me too. And how long that's going to go on. Wouldn't preclude me from wanting to be with her, though. It wouldn't. Would it? It wouldn't. As I could see it for LOB, precluding her wanting to be with some dude that's 35 and living at home. No way, right?

2:28:55No way. See, for me, it wouldn't. You wouldn't, would you? Oh, I thought you meant no way that I would think. No, you wouldn't do that. I would find out why. Yeah. What if he said he wanted to save money? I'd call him cheap. All right, Christine, thanks for the call. Thank you, guys. Love your show. Thank you. Thank you. We have Thomas Yersley. Is it Yersley? Yes, that's right. Thomas Yersley. Hi. Thomas Yersley is in the studio. And you did something really heroic. There's other names for it. I got hit by a train trying to save my dog. Probably should have had a leash. I'll give you some background. This happened about two weeks ago down on Wisconsin Avenue in beautiful Oceanside. Just coming back from a sunset walk. My old pup was by my side like he always has for about 13 years. and he went ahead on that evening. He went ahead, and my parental instincts kicked in, and I tried to reach and shoo him off the tracks, and I got clipped. They call it a glancing blow. I got clipped, and it hit my leg. Are we talking a coaster, a freight train, or an Amtrak train, or what are we talking? Burlington Northern, the 715. It's a freight train that's got no reason to stop.

2:30:22For another 100 miles, it's got two engines pulling, two engines pushing, and enough steel between the two to rebuild the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. Now, my brother is a railroad engineer. Yeah. And he said that a freight train is the heaviest moving object on Earth. Wow. It's the heaviest moving object on Earth. It's heavier than any whale. It's the heaviest moving object on the planet. And it's moving at a pretty good clip there, 70 miles an hour. He said it takes a mile for it to come to a stop. Yeah. He said, my brother said, if you lay the brakes on, the equivalent of in our car slamming the brakes on, if you lay the brakes on, it takes one full mile to come to a stop because it's so heavy. You don't just stop. No. Thousands and thousands and thousands of tons. You don't. You don't stop for a dog running across the tracks. I didn't expect it to.

2:31:28I've stood at that very same crossing three times a day for the last 13 years or so because I take the same walk all the time. What's your dog's name? Was Swango. You were not able to? I was not able to. He died shortly after that. So he was hit as well? Yeah, he was hit. What kind of a dog? He was a Queensland healer. Australian cattle dog. Beautiful. Beautiful dogs. I rarely took a job where he wasn't welcome, so he was the kind of dog that was with me all the time. But he was getting up in years, and he had always been blind in one eye. And he was starting to show some other signs of age. His hips were giving out, and then he had an impacted tooth, which made him blind. practically blind in the other eye, so we resigned to the fact that he wasn't going to live much longer anyway, and he wasn't up to hopping in the truck and going on the jobs anymore. He just kind of wanted to lay around. So it was the end of his day, so it's not a great loss. He certainly had a great life, and my life is better for it, too. Did he go onto the tracks and just stay there? Oh, he just...

2:32:57Well, I was distracted for a moment. See, I run a recording studio just up the street, and there was a young man when the gate came down with a guitar there, and I said to him, if you can play that guitar, I'll have you over to the studio. I'll give you five free minutes to track something. And he did play something that's quite unusual. He began an original piece in a drop C tuning. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, we're getting a little whine out of that speaker. Go ahead. Yeah, so at that moment, I was watching him, and the dog started to go. I was distracted, and here comes this freight train. And the freight train comes. That's almost dead silent when you're in front of it. It hardly makes a sound. All the sound is trailing behind it. It's dead silent. What's the last thing you remember? The last thing I remember is calling him, and normally a really obedient dog, but recently I've been having to give him some medicine, and he was not keen on this idea of me trying to shove a pill down his throat. And I maybe called him in the same...

2:34:23tone of voice that i call him it's time to get your come on get over here it's time to get your medicine and he is like i'm not not having it so he uh but but normally uh very you know was a Terrific companion. So you realized that he wasn't going to come. That's when you made the decision to go after him. All that happened in less than a tenth of a second. It happened so fast. So you went after him, and is that the last thing you remember? Well, I was standing at the gate, and then he wandered on in a fraction of a second. I tried to reach past the gate and brush him off the tracks. And that's it. I got too close, and he got too close. And just a little bit too close. It's a parental instinct, you know. Any parents have had these hair-raising times when they see their kid running under the street or comes close to putting his fingers in a fan or whatever. Right. You just react without thinking about it. Now, what's the first thing that you remember? The first thing that I remember after I got clipped? Yes.

2:35:38Well, I was hopping around yelling, somebody stop that dog over there. And then it was the Oceanside's Finest. The police department said, okay, buddy, you've been hit. Let's have a sit. And so say, we got your dog. Don't you worry about a thing. We're going to have you lay down. I did. It flipped me over. So the train has a cow catcher on it. That's from the old days. And it does what it's supposed to do. It takes. whatever, and flips us off to either side so we don't get right under it. I wasn't right under it. I was just clipped by this cow catcher. So was the dog. So I was flipped head over heels and landed on my head. I did have a concussion. I was dizzy and dingy for a couple of days. No broken bones. Yeah, broke my leg in two places. And they saw it, because of the head injury, they saw it necessary to put me on the life flight. That's Mercy Air. That's a helicopter. I probably would have been happy in a taxi cab. But they said, no, this is the way that we do things. If you've got a head injury, there could be neck, back. And out of abundance of precaution, they life flighted me into...

2:37:06Scripps Memorial. We're talking to Thomas Yearsley, who is from Oceanside. He was trying to save his dog's life and got hit by a train in Oceanside. But he lived to tell about it. He's here with us today. Not many people live to tell about it. No. In fact, my brother, like I said, does it for a living. He's never known anybody to live to tell about it. Oh, man. But there's been a few. My brother's been doing it for 25 years. There's been a few people that he's... sadly hit. I love the train system. I ride them once in a while. It's an awesome sight to stand at that gate and have a freight train or the coaster go by. Every time you do, you think, well, I'm going to stay way clear of that thing and play it safe. Well, I've got more questions for you. We have to take a quick timeout. We're going to tell people. about what's happening with Thomas. And I have more questions about it because you're the first person I've ever talked to that's been through this experience. And so I have a ton of questions, like an inquisitive child. All right. So I'll ask you in a minute. Number one alternative song in the country right now is this one from Neon Trees called Animal. Welcome back to Mikey's show. I want to remind you that FM 94.9's eighth anniversary bash.

2:38:59It's going on at 4th and B on November 13th. That's a Saturday night. And it's The Hold Steady, The Night Marchers, and New Politics. $26. No additional fees, which makes it real easy for you. And it's going to be a good time. It's the FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Bash. It's going to be good times. So go on out there and check it out. I am being joined by Thomas Yearsley. Thomas was trying to save... saved the life of his dog uh in oceanside and uh his dog didn't make it but thomas did thomas was hit by a train and uh lived to tell about it they life flighted you out and do you remember waking up in the hospital i was awake through uh through the life flight uh i was i was on a stretcher so i i recognized Looking at the ceiling, I could see, well, I'm in an ambulance now, and then suddenly they wheel me into this chopper, and then I'm looking at the ceiling of this chopper. Now, was your body still in shock, or were you experiencing pain already? I felt like I could have gotten up and walked home. Wow. That's the body going into shock kind of does that to you. Yeah, yeah. Now, did they start running a...

2:40:19some kind of IV on you immediately so that you didn't start to be in a lot of pain? And there was a neck brace. They suspected that there could be neck or back trauma, and out of precaution, yeah, they put me in a neck brace. They got me into the Scripps Memorial in La Jolla, and they did run an X-ray on me. And I was fine except just for... Your leg. Yeah. The bones in my lower leg, which is the fibula, which is not a big deal, was fractured and then broken down towards the ankle. That would have hurt. Was the train still there when they life flighted you out? In other words, had the train stopped? You know, I don't remember that. Yeah. I was long gone, and there were still the police and the fire department and the port authorities were still surveying the accident site for a few hours, and I was already in good hands over at Scripps Memorial. When did you find out about your pet? Oh, back at the...

2:41:46Before you left? No, later that night back at the hospital. Which must have been tough, too, because you're wondering, obviously, the status. Yeah, yeah, of course. It's a big loss. But I have to say again, he was an old dog, and I was resigned to the fact that I was going to outlive him. Right. I just didn't know when that moment was going to be. He was getting very old, and he was losing his senses. Maybe that's why he wandered out onto the track. Thomas, how long were you in the hospital? Well, there were three days the first time, and then they had me come back to reset the leg, and that was another overnight. How long ago? Well, the incident was the evening of the 16th.

2:42:45Okay. Well, the reason that Thomas is here is they're doing benefit concerts for him to help to pay for some of the costs. Yeah, and I'm a musician, so through the years I've had a long, wonderful career as a musician, and thanks to the fans in San Diego, the rest of the country, Europe, and Australia, people at all points of the globe have come up with... The idea is to help me pay the medical folks back. Well, here's what's happening. Tonight at 7 o'clock at the Royal Dive in Oceanside for $12, some musicians are getting together. Candy Cane, who's here today. Nathan James, the Honkies, the Pedal Steel Guitar Band. Tonight at the Royal Dive, $12. Earl Thomas, Gypsy Grove. Tom Tooley Trio, Red Fox Tales. And if you want to find out more about this, there's a website, helpthomas.com. And what good friends you have. Yeah, I'm flattered to know that when the word went out, they all stepped up and answered and want to be part of making this thing.

2:44:10Right financially between me and the county. Right. You know, as a musician, I'm uninsured. I don't think I've ever been in the hospital and just don't afford myself the luxury of seeing a doctor for a checkup. Never thought I'd need it, but I did need it. The system was there for me, and now we all want to see that they're taken care of because they are absolutely top notch. The trauma team, Dr. Marshall, the bone doctor, Dr. Dandan and his team, the trauma team, it's Scripps Memorial. I know who Dr. Dandan is. He's in the same office as the lady that did my surgery. Dr. Dandan. Yeah. Yeah, the lady that did my surgery is Dr. Raj Kapal, and they're in the same office. So he's there every time I'm there. So you must know what top professionals. They really are. They're great. And all the emergency teams, the police, the fire department, you know, they're there for me. Never thought I'd need them, but they were sure they're there for me. What a thing you live through. And my friends and acquaintances through all the years.

2:45:33lovely and talented ex-wife Candy Kane will be performing tonight. And she is, you got to know, one of the biggest draws for blues in this town. And she plays blues festivals all over the globe, just is in between tours right now where she's playing blues festivals in Florida and Chicago. And she is going to be on that. And if you're a fan of... of the blues, then you probably know her. And if you don't come out and see it, you'll be amazed. Yeah. And I want to help raise money for you, man. Pay those bills. Tonight, Royal Dive, 7 o'clock, 12 bucks to get in. There's also a raffle happening. People have come forth with a lot of things. A bicycle. There's a Taylor guitar. Oh, wow. My favorite. Gifts, certificates.

2:46:31Kits to health spas, this kind of thing. A lot of raffle, a lot of merchandise there that you could win just for the price of a raffle ticket, a dollar or so. Well, Thomas, thank you for coming in. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. And it was very interesting to talk to you and never spoke to anybody that's been through what you've been through. Well, let's hope we don't have to do this. Yeah, absolutely. 100%. The one and only. That's right. It's the Mikey Show. Don't go away. We will be right back. Wait till I tell you. How many people are going to the Padres games even while we're in a pennant race? That's next. You want to know who the greatest graphic designer in the United States of America for the universe is? Can I guess? Yeah. Jared. That's correct. You just guessed it. And I'll tell you, dude, we got the final proof done last night. Oh, I saw that. It is incredible. For our adoption, Jamie and I are adopting a baby.

2:47:46And Jared is doing, he did our adoption pamphlet. It's incredible. Guy's great, man. Incredible. You can hire him, too. Go to createyourdesignonline.com. He does high-end design, and it is. Guy's the best every time I call. He has my number in his phone. I know he does. Every time I call, he goes, may I help you? I'm like, hi, Jared, it's Woods. He's a professional. He's the best. He is a professional. Yeah. He's great. If you want to do business cards, you can do it. If you want a billboard, you can do it. If you want a website, you can do it. You can do whatever you want. He's really good. He's phenomenal. I need a business card. That's right. Yeah, I do too. See what I'm saying? Padres are doing great, right? Yeah, they're in first place in the West. Except for last night. Average attendance this season? 25,000 people. Out of... How much? 40. 40,000. I think that's about right. Yeah. It's not very good. 2004, it was 37,000 people. In 05... 46,000 capacity. 46,000 capacity.

2:49:12Yeah, I dropped my brothers off last night. Door-to-door service. I was like, wow, I was expecting traffic. Piece of cake. Door-to-door. Got them right in front of the ballpark. Yeah, because, you know, why would you want to go to a game where you're a game up on the team that you're playing in September? My brother came out here from New Jersey. He was pretty fired up to go. Yeah. Sad. Woodsy, I think it's because of the girlfriend analogy I've used. No, I don't think so. No. I think we feel like it's not going to. No, it doesn't matter. It's happened. You're in a pennant race. The girlfriend analogy works until July after the All-Star break. There you go. You're in a pennant race, period. Today's the 10th. The girlfriend analogy does not work. Today's the 10th. We're three games up. One game up. One game up. Yeah, and you're playing the team that's right behind you. Your ass needs to be in the seats, period. If they ever needed you. Now is when they need you. You're in the pennant race. It's happened. Your girlfriend didn't cheat on you. You're in a pennant race. She just lost 10 games, though. It doesn't matter. She at least made me go, hey, who just texted you? No. And she's not saying anything, and you're like, that's weird. It doesn't matter. Remember what happened? You wanted it. You got it. I know, but who just texted you then? You wanted to see her with her clothes off? She's naked. Get out there. I know she is, but her cell phone keeps blowing up, and she's like,

2:50:33It's her boss. It's her boss. It's her boss. It's her boss. It's her boss. It's her boss. Her boss is very demanding. Yes. I guess so, because she just lost 10 games in a row. And I'm like, is it your boss? It happens. It's her mom, too. Is it your mom and your boss? Because remember last year? But they also just swept their division rival. If they need you in the seat, now's the time. All right. I'm saying to her, I'm just going to say this to you, girlfriend. If you do this again. it's going to be 10 times worse than it was last year. It doesn't matter. This time I'm actually like, I'm really. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what happened in baseball. It doesn't matter what happened last year. My favorite team won the World Series last year. You think that's going to stop me from watching my bong? No, because you have a ring on every hand and every toe. Every toe. You have rings. You have World Series rings and your navel. I know. You have World Series earrings on. But you know why? Let's say Yankees. You know what? We have a goose egg. Nothing. Never won a championship. You know how you get it? You get out there and support your team when they're in a frigging pennant race in September.

2:51:39That's so easy to say. No, it's not. That's so easy to say. That's what you do. That's what you do. You cry all year because the Padres stink. The Padres stink. Don't get me crying. And you're in a pennant race in September, and you're playing the Dodgers, and you have 25,000 people there. Hey, you guys are going to write me. You're going to yell at me. You're going to fillet me. I don't care. It sounds like Michael Irvin in a mustard yellow suit. Yeah. All right, that cost $40,000 going. All you need to do, man, is go buy yourself a nice $25,000 suit, man. I mean, if you want to dress nice, go down to the place and buy a $25,000 suit. He's saying, go on over to Today's Man. Make it right. And I'm like, hey, not everybody has $25,000 suits. Not everybody has how many World Series rings? The Yankees? 27. How dare you. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what other teams. 27 rings you sit there. It doesn't matter what the Yankees do. What matters is. Once he's got 27 World Series rings, he's like, you guys, you guys, you guys. Here's the deal. You want a dependent race, right? Yes. You got it.

2:52:43You got it. We're a little gun shy. We're a little gun shy. Sorry that you can't be. Then you can't cry when guys are like, you know what? I'm going to go pitch in New York and I'm going to go pitch in Boston. I'm going to go pitch in Philly where somebody's going to come and watch me pitch. That's true. True story. He's right. And they're going to pay me. You're right, but you're still not. You won't acknowledge my point. Your point was valid until now. Now is the pennant race. Listen to this, Woods. M1 Anthony from OB. How's it going, Gus? Good. Yeah, I went to the Pods game last night. First time, actually, at Petco, and, you know, I was pretty excited about it. And I was really surprised to see that the Giants fans outnumbered and outchanted the Padres fans. I want to vomit. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm telling you, man. It was so sad. Sad. You know, I mean, thinking that, you know, this is our chance for the city to get excited and rally around a team and to have.

2:53:43You know, the Giants fans really outnumber us. That's sad. And, you know, everybody said, where will Adrian be in July? Will he be a Red Sox? Will he be a Cub? You know, somebody's going to get Adrian. You know where Adrian is? Adrian's playing first base for the first-place Padres. Yeah. Make a run. All right, let's back up a tiny bit, and I'll get off my soapbox. Okay, and I'm going to stay on mine. I'll get off, I promise, but I'm going to back up a little bit because I remember. when it went to the voters to build that place. And all you heard, dude, TV commercials, all you heard was, let me tell you, you build this thing for us, and we're going to put a winning team on the field. They are winning. LOB. Now they're winning. That's why I said we've got to back up. Because they built that stadium, and nothing happened, man. No, you're right. They didn't do anything they said.

2:54:40Padres fans were like, oh my gosh. But here's the deal, bro. What's happening is it's something that's so rare in the great game of baseball. It's so rare where they say, you know what? We're going to look at the bottom line and we're going to say, F the bottom line. It doesn't matter. We're going to win because we are ballplayers and we know how to win. They're doing that. Guys are having career years. Guys that they picked up literally off the scrap heap have come in and they are stars. And that doesn't happen. It doesn't happen all the time. My team is expected to win 162 games. The Yankees are expected to go 162-0. If they don't win a World Series, the year was a loss. If the Padres don't win the West, the year's not really a loss. They still had a good year, but to be in this position now and not even have the fan support of the city which you play makes no sense. None. They're winning in spite of everything that all the excuses everybody throws at them. They're like, forget it. We're going to win anyway. I have to agree. You got to. It sucks. Turning those games on? I hear a guy just came in from out of town. He's like, your girlfriend's so hot. I can't believe you don't take her out to dinner. I'm like, you have no idea what we've been through together. Dude, as a baseball fan, yes, I do. I'm a fan first of the game. Yes. Dude, do I watch the Nationals play the Cardinals on a Saturday afternoon? Damn right I do, because I love that game.

2:56:06I'll watch any game, any time. Your wife's at home going, he does. He does, yeah. Mikey, ask him when he has one game on the TV and one on his laptop. Get out there to the stadium. I like his soapbox. All right. Get out there. I like Woods' soapbox. I know. Well, what are you going to do? Let's see. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys got anything going on this weekend? My boy's here. Come real quick. Give your plug. I told them that they could plug their gig tonight. Real quick. What are you guys doing? Into the mic. Hey, what's up, you guys? This is Zorik from Full Force Rising. We're playing tonight at the Dream Street Live in Ocean Beach. That's 2228 Bacon Street. Nice. Having a great time here with you guys on the Mikey Show. You guys are real cool kids. Thanks for having us. That's cool. 8 o'clock tonight, right? 8 o'clock tonight, $8 cover. You guys could find us on Full Force Rising on Facebook or .com. Nice. You guys are rad. That's cool. Good dudes. I've got my new team, my new baseball team. I say new. New? Well, because we have sponsors now. We are no longer the San Diego Brewers.

2:57:09Who are you? We are the Tipsy Crows. Are you serious? I am dead. Tipsy Crows. We're the Tipsy Crows. We got new unis, the whole bit. I've got a game Sunday. I don't know what time, but it'll be on Facebook if you want to come out and watch the kids. The Tipsy Crows. Jasper's got his first soccer game, so I'm going to report on that. You can. Yeah, you should. I got a gig on Tuesday. Do you do? No big deal. You have a gig on Tuesday? Yeah. It's a happy hour gig. Relax. Get me out. She's like, yeah, 10 p.m. It's all you can drink. Six o'clock. I'll be drinking. So you guys come out. You'll be in bed at the belly up. 10 p.m. All you can drink. Come on out. Buy me a drink. I'll be doing shots. I'll be there. Doing lines. Come on out. Doing lines, shots. Line them up. No big deal. It's going to be awesome. It's a great segue to your testimony. Yeah, Mike. I'm going to roll in here at 7 a.m. Stinking of cigarettes. That's right. All right, 570-1949 is our number. End of the show. Do you have anything going for him this weekend? No, my brother's coming to visit. You're going to squire him around the great San Diego County. That's right. He's going to be Miss Daisy this weekend. My brother. Anything else I can give for you, sir? Any place else you'd like to see before you leave San Diego?

2:58:31I see your guts bust open. What's that? Burger King again, huh? Not a problem. End of the show on Friday, I tell you my story. It's called my testimony. I tell you about where I have been in my life and what God did to change my life. The reason that I tell you is because I know that there's a lot of people that are listening that are in a similar situation that I have been in in my life. And I want to believe that. That I had a bigger purpose than to just be a talk show host. That in telling you the stuff that I've been through, you can find hope in it. Because there are people that are listening right now that feel hopeless. I have felt hopeless. Hopelessness is the worst thing in the world. Because you feel like you don't have anything to look forward to. That no matter what, it's just not going to get better. And I want you to know that that isn't true.

2:59:41From the time that I was a little kid, I was always fearful. I grew up fearful of everything and everyone. I was afraid of everyone. I was afraid that they would hurt my feelings. I was afraid that they would make fun of me, not understand me. When I got into my 20s, that feeling was even deeper. No self-esteem. None. And in addition to all of that, I also, like I said this on the air the other day, I said, in addition to all of that, I was also clever and had a way with words. And it was just all a bad combination. I was an angry guy. I would drink to the point, man, where I would pass out. This is embarrassing. I'd wake up humiliated. Didn't know, didn't remember falling asleep or...

3:01:02Could have killed myself. Could have killed other people. And felt terrible about myself. Hated myself. I felt unworthy of love. If any female had feelings for me, I thought she was messed up. Because there was no way that any person could like me. Because I was filthy. I was worthless. That's the way I used to feel about myself. You may feel that way about yourself now. It's not true. It's a lie. And there is hope for you. In 2003, I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. There was absolutely no part of that that made life perfect. At the end of last year, I went through the hardest period of my life. I've started to acknowledge that. I've started to acknowledge that what I went through in December was the hardest time in my life. From December to now has been the hardest time in my life.

3:02:27I've had people lie about me. I've had people say awful things about me. And through it, I've had to keep my mouth shut for no other reason than because that's what God wants me to do. And he's done so much for me. The least I can do is try to honor him. That and I love him. Do you hear in my voice that there's something different? Can you hear in my voice that there's something different about me? Can you tell that I'm telling you the truth? Because I am. I'm telling you the truth. And it didn't mean me talking. Every morning before I come in here, I pray. I sit in my office at home and I pray. And I say, God, take me out of it. And just use me. If you're listening right now and you have those feelings of hopelessness or you have those feelings of desperation, go to MikeyShow.com and there's a little word there that says help. Click on that and go there. And you can get help for depression, eating disorders.

3:03:45You can get help for addiction. But what I want you to know is that there's hope. There's hope. There's hope. This is a trippy time in my life, and God has walked me through every single bit of it. I love this song. I play this song sometimes at the end of the show. It's by a band called Red, and it's called Pieces. And the song is about being at a place in your life where you almost feel like you have nothing left. And you just, that's what I did. This is what the song means to me. I came to God in pieces. Have a great weekend. Hillary's coming up next. We'll come back on Monday morning. We'll do the whole thing all over again. Mikey shows out late.