The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/13/11

1:34Welcome, welcome, welcome. Let's do this thing. Right up until the last minute. Right up until the last minute. We got so much to talk about. Good thing I thought the Dolphins wouldn't be embarrassed at home. Tom Brady. 500 yards passing. What, four touchdowns? Yes, sir. 517 yards passing. Oh, gross. That's gross. It's disgusting. And then you know what he did after the game? He showered up, went home, Ferrari and made love to Giselle. What a creep. You don't know if they made love. Doesn't he? I mean, come on. It's not even fair. It's not really fair. Let me tell you something. I was at the Super Bowl in 2001 that he won. And he was brand new.

2:38Took over for Drew Bledsoe. He was an afterthought, dude. Well, yeah, his seventh round draft pick out of Michigan. Right. And he won that Super Bowl because Drew Brees got hurt. He took over, took him to the Super Bowl, won. Okay? Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe. Yeah. And so I'm in the press conference with Tom Brady. Not the same Tom Brady you see today. Right. He was wearing a dorky leather jacket with dorky hair. And his answer sounded like this. It's really incredible. It's incredible. Not the same guy. Now he's Tom freaking Brady. When you see a guy go, you could say that he's gone Hollywood. But he's gone Hollywood and he's still a great... Great, great quarterback. A lot of quarterbacks get caught in that mode, and their game suffers. His game's gotten better. Yeah, he's gotten model. Well, I mean, you know, he's a good-looking cat. It's one thing to go model if you don't really have the stuff. It's another thing to go model if you're a good-looking cat. It's probably a strong possibility I could be getting the ball in this play. Wes Welker, 99-yard touchdown. Wow.

4:06But I saw him break away, and, I mean, it was awesome. You know, Coach never lets us run that route in practice because he's like, I'm sick of Welker running, you know, seam routes. Like, I don't want to see that. All trained, you know, that's all we heard. So hopefully we won't have to hear that again. How do you like that move by Brady, Coach? 99 yards. Touchdown. Nice call by Mike Tirico there. A little bit later, we're going to be playing you. Ron Jaworski cussing on mistake. Now, I didn't hear when he cussed, but what I did hear, because I was, you know, I had the game on and I was doing some work on my computer, so I was like half listening. I heard his apology, and I didn't know what he was apologizing for. I heard it, rewound it with my wife no less than seven times, and we were rolling in bed, rolling. Yeah. And nobody caught it. And then I hear him come back. I go, I told you, I told you he said that. Well, when you say that nobody caught it. I believe that they all caught it, but what they didn't do is draw attention to it. Acknowledge it. Well, yeah, you're not supposed to go, dude, you just said S. I know. What you're supposed to do is pretend everything's normal and it didn't happen. Right. You know? It was classic. That's professional. That's classic. But you do also, in the spirit of professionalism, have to apologize for it. So anyway, we'll do that for you in a little bit. Just a jam-packed show.

5:32570-1949. Give us a call and we will talk to you about anything you want to talk about. We announced Mikey-thon yesterday, which is going to happen on October 6th and 7th. It's going to be a very big deal. And the two movies that we're going to be watching, because we watch movies during this 28-hour marathon broadcast, are... Pretty in Pink and Cobra. Dude. Dude. You're the disease. But I'm the cure. I'm the cure. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Rhonda, otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien. Yes. That's Jay, our producer. Say hi, Jay. Hello. He's sick. It's a little rough in here. I'll say. He's sick. What do you got, a cold? Could be. All right. I don't feel good. Hey, I'm here. Oh, Woods. I'm here. Come on. It's weird because to hear it, guy takes pretty good care of himself, right? Yeah. Guy didn't smoke a lot. You know, doesn't do anything. I have an eight-year-old. Guy's sick a lot. It's weird. Kids bring it home. Our phone screener is Chris. Growl! That's growl. It's very strange. Let's see. So the word of the day-to-day is skunk. And what's it good for?

7:00Padres tickets with the Switchfoot concert. Nice. Pretty nice, yeah. So be listening. I'll work the word skunk into a sentence. You'll barely even notice it. You're going to be listening carefully. You could come during commercials, whenever. And you just got to be calling nine. And Padres tickets with the Switchfoot concert included. After the game, Switchfoot's playing. We're going to do Ask the Dudes today at 7.30, which is a really cool segment for guys to listen to, we have found. Dudes love it because it's girls that call in and that's all that we allow. And they get to ask questions about guys and guys love listening to it. I could listen to it all day. Me too. I'm fascinated by what chicks want to know about us. And so we will do that. Let's see. Phone calls. M1HB from Scripps Ranch. Hi. Good morning. I have some questions about my T-thon. Go ahead. Are there going to, was last year there was those food vendors? Are we going to have vendors again? Jay, do you know anything about it? I know that they're working on getting some food vendors. Okay. But they're also talking about putting a barbecue pit outside. Nice. That was my next question. Is it a real barbecue pit or is it those electric things we had last year? A real barbecue pit. Thank goodness. Okay. And then a couple fire pits to keep you warm at night. That will be really nice for a change. Okay. Those were my questions. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Little angel. Yeah.

8:28It's M1HB. Jay believes that his sickness is due to his eight-year-old son. He likes to sleep in my bed and then cough right into my mouth. Don't we all? That's true. Well, hey, that's certainly one theory on why you're sick. What's the other theory? Well, I don't know. The fact that you like to... Surf and sewage. That's another reason. I was outside the spill zone. Were. I was. You. Water was crystal clear. Fish were swimming. Headline reads, sewage spill still haunt county coastline with a picture of a dead fish in Los Penasquitos Lagoon. That's disgusting. Hideous. That's disgusting. Why, by the way? Because the Mexicans from Mexico.

9:29will spill sewage into the water, into the ocean. And then Jay gets into there and he's like, it's fine. It ain't the spill zone. I went in again yesterday. Hey, L.O.B., didn't you say that you got in the water and you could actually... I could smell what I thought was sewage, but Jay tells me it was a red tide. Because I came out of the water on Sunday and I said, oh, it smells like red tide. It was a brown tide is what it was. It's disgusting. It's a song about... Jay's poop water. Disgusting. It's his eight-year-old. There's dead fish rolling up on... He had his cold before the poop came through. Gosh darn it. I'm sure the poop didn't help. And the worst part of it is that when you get in the water, it's inevitable. You're going to swallow ocean water. You can't help it. It happens. It did happen.

11:28It did happen. I fell in. I was like... I washed my face with it all of a sudden. What? I was like, because I got all disheveled from the waves. I was riding the waves and I had sand all over me. So I was like popping up water into my hand and splashing it on my face. And then when I got out, my brother-in-law told me there was a sewage spill and I was like... It's filthy. It's filthy. Oh, that's so gross. Surf again next June. Thanks very much. Let's see. Woodsy, what's going on? We had a big game last night. Two big games last night, man. Monday Night Football, the double edition. You had Tom Brady and the Patriots against the Miami Dolphins, who our friend Mike Esparza picked to win that game. The Miami Dolphins. Good guess. Actually, it wasn't that bad of a game. The Pats won 38-24. There was a record set, 906 yards net passing.

12:28combined between the two teams. So Chad Henney goes out, throws for 416 yards, and they still lose. Brady was insane. Here's the actual. They were backed up. They were on the one-yard line, and he was in a shotgun with nobody in the backfield. Check this out. Where's Brady out of the gun from the half-yard line? Why not? To Wes Welker. Wes Welker. How many of you guys throw it out of their end zone in an empty backfield? As Don Meredith said when Tony Dorsett did it, 99 yards and a half. That was. Wow. Yeah. Also, there was a bitter division rival game. It was Oakland against Denver. And, man, these guys came out swinging, literally swinging at each other. 23-20, Oakland gets the win. And I'll tell you what, Darren McFadden may be finding his feet, man. He ran for 150 yards last night.

13:25Unbelievable. And apparently identical. 150. 150. And identical Woods, Sebastian Janikowski, hit a 63-yarder to tie the NFL record. Yeah. My twin. Pretty cool. Yeah. He's not your twin. Isn't he? Come on, dude. Some M1s told me. M1s ever just mean? Yeah. From now on, if you're mean, you're unfriended. That's a new bit. You're going to just unfriend them? I just can't handle it. I'm like a 16-year-old fat girl right now. Lay off me, I'm fat. I'm like a self-conscious 16-year-old sophomore that's real chubby. Isolate. Lay off me, I'm starving. How dare you? How dare you? I'm about to start doing meth, just FYI, because I've got to lose some LBs, apparently. Oh, jeez. Poor guy. Yeah, well, what are you going to do? Well, I think L.O.B. made a good, she kind of made a good point. We make fun of, and I guess that makes everybody feel like they can do it too. Like once it's out there first, then it's fair game. Why not? Have at it. Just pile on. Just go for it. Feels real good. Yeah. You know how hard it is for me to have, like I've said before, a 370 pound guy running mouth about my weight, and then I look at his picture and I go,

14:51Be different, dude. Just stay within yourself. Don't get mad, okay? Just don't write the guy, listen, pal. Stop shoveling sausage in your mouth. Oh, wow. And eating a lot. Oh, what do you... That's what I like to do and I can't do it, so... I feel bad for you. You're a better person because... You are. Am I? Mm-hmm. Just be myself. You are. Better words. You know what? You're transparent. You let the world know who you are. Great bit so far. Woods, he's such a good guy. People don't even know. Don't freak out, Rhonda. I'm about to say something nice about my friend. Is that okay? It's only been 18 minutes. Actually, 14 minutes. Rhonda hates it when I say nice stuff about my friend. I say nice stuff about Rhonda, too. I don't hate it as much as I hate you calling me Rhonda. Just hate stuff? Would you like it if I just started calling you... Calling you Tommy Bahama? Stan? Would I like it? Would I hate that? Stan. Come on, Stan. Okay, so it worked up. Stan was the subject of an Eminem song about a guy that was a stalker. Yes. Okay? If I called you Squeaky, I'd understand. I don't know what Squeaky is. Squeaky from, okay? The Manson family. Yes, from the Manson family.

16:16So if I all of a sudden started going, hey, Squeaky. Okay. And you were like, you mean like Squeaky Frome? If I all of a sudden decided to start calling you Warnos, I was just like, hey, what's up, Warnos? What about Bernard? You okay with Bernard? No. Wasn't there serial killer Bernard something? Bernard Getz. Bernard Getz. Is a vigilante. Yes. Rhonda is not a famous bad person. It's also not my name. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. All right. Rhonda's done. I said to L.O.B. the other day, is there anything I can tease you about? She goes, anything. It's not Rhonda. It's not my name. Isn't it? It's so Rhonda. That's such a Rhonda thing to say. Forget it. I'm not going to stop Rhonda. You confuse everybody. Yeah, I know. It's just so Rhonda, though. I know. It's so R.O.B. Call me and I just won't respond. Be great for on the air. So what can we tease you about? I get Tommy Bahama, fat, short, crap dad. Jay gets everything you can imagine. Woods is compared to a transgendered, overweight man. He put it out there himself. He didn't. I did it. An M1 did.

17:55First of all, you, Rhonda. Yes. Sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So beautiful. Yeah, good looking. Good looking. Great body. Women are still persecuted all throughout the world, so. Oh, but she's not. That's the other bit. She sticks up for women's rights, right? Right. And then I make a joke about her being like sort of a feminist, and she's like, I'm not feminist, man. I'm not. Go ahead and do whatever you want. And let's hash this out over the air. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I just don't feel like I told him in the right way. Thought about it this morning. Weird. Well, and I'm like, fine. Color something else? I don't know. Why not my name? Okay. Lauren. Lauren. Hello, Lauren. Hello, Lauren.

19:03Oh, I'm so sorry to disappoint you guys with my name. Well, you're forgiven, but... And I appreciate the apology. Yeah. It's not really sincere. My apology? Mine. Oh. I like Rhonda. I mean, it's good. Do whatever you want. You guys, it's your world. I'm just living in it. Oh, boy. It's a man's world. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Like you said yesterday, you're just lucky that you even get to vote. I get to vote, you know. I should just shut up while I'm ahead. Just, you know. I don't want that taken away, too. Finally. She works in a locker room. I feel for her. I do. Because she works with a bunch of dudes. Jay, you're on the list. I was going to feel bad for you today. Welcome to the list. Be quiet. Woods. Yes. Whoa. Double. Double bird. I got double birded. Yesterday, I told Woods. I said, hey, Woods, I have a difficult time knowing how to be normal. I agreed with you. Yeah, and Woods said, yeah, it's true. I said, it's hard for me. Woods and I had a tiff yesterday. And after the show, I apologized to him. And he goes, I said, honestly, I'm being completely serious. I don't know how I could have done it different. And he told me an alternative way. And I go.

20:38Freaking brilliant. And so he's going to maybe Woods can help teach me how to be like normal, you know, say normal stuff, not, you know, offend anybody. Now, I'm going to ask Woods now as a source of, you know, like you're my you're you're now going to be my teacher. OK, like I'm like Luke Skywalker and you're like Yoda. Yoda. Yes, sir. You're the host of The Mikey Show. Yes. Your name is Mikey. Yes. It's fun to raz each other. Yes. But Lauren doesn't like to be called Rhonda. Right. She also doesn't like a bunch of stuff. What do you do? I think... Well, you never want... You're good at this. You never want to hurt feelings. Never want to hurt feelings. You never want to hurt feelings. That's why I chose Rhonda. Right. And you never want to get too...

21:53Personal, I say. Personal. It's weird because it's like I can make fun of me for being fat, but I get mad if somebody else does. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We need to be a cohesive unit. And we're all allowed to make fun of each other. We do. Yeah, yeah. For sure. I'm just the only one that's not allowed to stick up for myself. Oh, you are. And you should. And you should. What? And you should. I don't understand that. If I give any sort of pushback, this is where... All of a sudden, I'm not allowed to push back. Well, wait a minute. Can I say I don't like Rhonda? Yeah, but you don't like any teasing. Not a lot of people do. You're allowed to. Not a lot of people like teasing. But isn't it kind of fun? I like it. I mean, if it's harmless. If it's not personal. If it isn't personal. Jay takes a lot. I mean, and by the way, the stuff that we take is personal. Yeah, that's true. I actually am. Fat. I actually am having my eggs drying up and unmarried and do have a big butt. I've never said anything about your butt. I don't want to feast on your butt. That's a nice butt. I'm not feasting on anybody's butt. That's a nice butt. There's nothing wrong with your butt. I will not make fun of any of those things, though, because some of those things ring. True. Yeah, you know, I'm not going to make fun of that. Yeah. You know, I don't want to hurt you.

23:23And you can freeze your eggs. We have to go to break. Yeah, we're way late. We're just a minute late. Why don't you let me decide what's a great opening break over there, pal? It's been a great opening break for me. Just sitting in the hot seat. I didn't expect it. I know you didn't, but guess what? You're going to get it. Oh, somebody's got a frowny face. This is like Metallica, some kind of monster. Yeah. Well... I mean, I'm going through the healing process, and I'm kind of to the point where I've had it with a lot of different stuff. Yeah, you got me yesterday real good. I got you. Real good. I'm kind of sick of the internet tough, guys. Big time. And it's time to get this thing going the right way. Come on! You know what I mean?

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31:32This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts today. See your participating Toyota dealer. Well, it looks like we've got a little bit of backup on the five northbound ramp to Cesar Chavez Parkway. There was an earlier accident there. They've cleared it. but you may find a little bit of a delay. Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78, pretty slow, and the 163 southbound before the 5, we've got an accident over on the right shoulder. This report brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash will guarantee the lowest rate on title loans, plus you can ask about their $50 cashback offer, loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lenders Law License. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I'm a pretty honest guy, and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it, as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had, like, 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Ask the dudes, 7.30. All right, so I told you that last night,

33:43Jaws cussed during Monday Night Football. Ron Jaworski, he dropped an S-bomb. Check it out. Well, that's one that Chad would love to have back. He knew we had the one-on-one matchup going down the right sideline. You have to get rid of this ball just a split second quicker. You'll see him here. Holy cow. Yeah, it's right out there. How do you forget you're broadcasting nationally? Dude, I can actually sympathize because... I've had to bite my tongue about 7,000 times since we started on the air. I heard you bite it yesterday. Yes, yesterday. I was like, and almost said something. Yeah. Sometimes you feel like you're sitting around gabbing with your pals. And that's what it's supposed to be. Yeah. You know. That's why those guys are so good. And that team that they have is a good team. You want to listen to Jaws and Gruden and those guys. Well, here is the apology that had to follow. All the time in the world for Hernandez, that pass is incomplete. Intended for Aaron Hernandez. Hey, Mike, a little earlier in the show when Chad Henning was making a throw, I said inappropriate words, so I want to apologize, and I hope I didn't offend anyone with that word. That was comfortable, by the way. Right. That's the part that I heard where he goes, okay. Okay. And then dead silence. And I was like, what did he do? Yeah. What did he do? Yeah, I caught it. I caught it right off, right away. Kid's got an ear for curse words. You know that.

35:17My guess is that most of the audience wasn't that offended because it's a lot of men watching Monday Night Football. For sure. How did you get offended by that word anyway? Like offended? You're offended by the S word? Well, the only way I'd be offended by it is if Jake was sitting there and then he starts saying the S word. But I don't know that he would. It's so innocuous, it just kind of flew through. It wasn't like, that guy's a piece of ass. I mean, it was like saying, shoot, man, he's got to get rid of the ball. He made a mistake. Yeah. Whatever. Jaws is good. He's good. I hope he doesn't get in trouble. Oh, you won't. There's no way. Did you see the beginning of the game? The first game? Yes. Did I see the beginning? Fergie singing the nation. I missed it. And I try to miss as many of those as I can. Not good. Because I heard it was terrible. Oh, dude. I try to miss Fergie as much as I can. Listen to this. Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and remove your hats for tonight's national anthem. Performed by six-time Grammy Award winner and Dolphins limited partner, Fergie. Fergie. Shocking. Wow. She looked really pretty, though. I give her that. No, dude. She really did. Google image it.

36:37I bet you'll agree. Haggard. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Oh, double breath. You know, she practiced it a million times. Of course. I thought she was going to say, let's make some effing noise. I was like, oh, wow, my heart just skipped a beat. Oh, wow. She's a man. She is a man.

38:36I didn't care for let's play some football America like a man screaming it. It really scared me. I thought she was about to say the F word. I'm not kidding. My heart jumped. It was close. Wow. Sebastian Janikowski, 63 yarder. What? I don't think you look this up, don't I? He's thinner. Even at his worst, he's still at his best. Hey, good voice to call you fat. I'm high on syrup. I'll still get you. You drinking that blue stuff? Oh, yeah. That's Jay's favorite thing. What is it? Tylenol. Tylenol cold burst. He sounds like a turd. There's some coding stuff that we had, too. It's a party in your mouth. There's some coding stuff we had, too. How'd you get to work? Did you drive?

39:46I did. Oh, wow. There's nobody on the road. This is okay. Sorry. Sounds terrible. Construction workers. I watched that for them. You guys think Jay drinks any of that cold burst before he comes up with some ideas that he came up with yesterday? That would be one excuse for them. Jay had an idea during our meeting. That he wanted to go around and say what we would do if we were president. Yeah. We could. Yeah. It was solid. But Jay. It kind of tells a little bit about you. But I don't know. And that's what we all said. We're like. You don't know.

40:48Would you want me to be like, you know, I'd really work on the foreign policy of this country because I think our infiltration in Syria has just been, you know. It doesn't sound like you. Well, what would an example of something I would say be? I want to make Donald's on every corner. Identical. Top of my list. Thank you, Simba. Jay, let's hear what yours would sound like. Glad you asked. My fellow Americans. I have a dream. Four scored seven years ago. Our fathers bought forth this continent. A new nation. They bought it for us. They bought it for us. In liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men have created equal. I propose a four-day work week. Yeah. I like that. Thank you. Thank you. Hold your paws to the end. Okay. One month of vacation for everyone. But how will we do stuff? Other people will have to be there. Just have to allow for it. Companies do it in other countries.

41:57So you have people fill in for the people off. That's right. Got it. So you know that everybody's going to have a month off. Maybe I like Jays. Do you have to take it at the same time? No. Okay. You get your choice. I like it. Fat camps for kids and adults. You work out, they pay you to stay in shape. It's going to keep everybody healthier and keep the health benefits down. How did I know? No kidding. Well, you sound pretty healthy, and you work out a lot, so. Everybody gets a cold. Not everybody. I would change the law so men can have up to four wives. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Think about it. Think about it. Why would you want four times that complaining and nagging? Well, you'd have more help with keeping your budget. You know, you get more money coming in the house, more stuff you get done, and also, you know, four times the benefits, if you know what I'm saying. Oh, wow. I think we know what you're saying. Yes. I would, oh, I got one. I would reform health care. I would have final say on what procedures cost, and then I'd standardize it across the board. Okay, so in other words, you would say, you have to have a appendectomy. Yep, 100 bucks. 100 bucks. 100 bucks. 100 bucks. So then I'd also have to reform the cost of education to all the doctors to come in. Well, you'd also have to reform.

43:23People even wanting to be doctors knowing that they're going to study to do an appendectomy and make $7 off the deal. That's true. But if your education is paid for. Maybe they'd be government workers. Glad I worked my ass off. I made $34,000 last year. I'm a heart surgeon. Yeah. I'm a heart surgeon. Everybody can afford it then. And then two words. Topless beaches. Think about it. Chris likes that. He saluted. And then I'd put a pot in every pot. Say what? Pot in every pot. What does that mean? Basically, I'd leave the glass of marijuana. Like a chicken in every pot. Like a chicken in every pot. I don't get it. Pot. A pot in every pot. Chicken in every pot. Was that like Theodore Roosevelt? Yeah, I think so. I got it. So a lot of my constituents won't like this speech because them punks like to hit it and quit it.

44:14I'd rather stay and play because I'm long and strong and I'm going to get the friction on. What the hell just happened? So, ladies. He's been drinking this stuff. Sorry, water rolling by Mercedes and stick around, stick it out. Even white boys got a shout. Back-to-back terms in the White House. Termics a lot. Still for the best. He just accidentally let his piece of paper fly out of his hand. I threw it. I was done. I threw it. I'm done. This is a very gentle throw. He's amazing. He's a joy in our life. Chances on our Facebook page right now, there is Jay for President 2012. Oh, yeah. There will be bumper stickers. Let's do this. Of course there is. Buzzword. Let's play Buzzword. 570. He's dying right now. Look at him. He's sticking a little napkin over his mouth. Coughing. Jay. Yes, sir. You should take it to the house.

45:18I don't know if I could drive. No, I'm just kidding. I could drive. I can go a little bit longer. I got this. Is your vagina hurting? Oh, stop it. Oh, Woods. Why are you giving him a hard time? You can hear he's sick. Wait a minute. Wait. But you can hear it. Wait a minute. And weird. Why am I, Stephen R. Woods, giving him a hard time? But he is sick. For real. I mean, you can hear it. You can't fake that. I guess Dr. Pepper and Eclairs has worked out just fine for the kid. You know what is funny? That Woodsy eats and drinks and chews and spits. He doesn't get sick. Knock wood. What's up with that? Man, so. You've been sick one time. Never. I've never had a sick day. Ever. Oh, you didn't go home, but you were sick. I've never had a sick day. I won't show you what... I won't tell you what Woods just did, but it was graphic. It was insensitive.

46:21He's got to take as much as he gives. You're kicking a man when he's down. Which is his favorite thing to do. It's true. 570-1949. You're going to pick me or Woods or Lauren O'Brien right now. 570-1949. You've got to pick one of us to represent you in Buzzword. Jay will give us a word. Today's prize is Street Fighter IV for the Nintendo. 3DS. Still. Still having a hard time with the... Nintendo. Isolate it. Isolate it. Nintendo. There you go. Break through. Must be the cold medicine. M1 Austin. How weird. Like he takes cold medicine and he starts to speak normally. Good morning. It's nice to talk to you this morning. It's a lovely morning. He just put on a pair of reading glasses. He's high. He is high on cough syrup. He is high. M1 Austin from San Diego. Who do you want? I will take Rhonda. There you go. Good choice. Hang on the line. M1 Sticky Fingers from San Diego. Who do you want? Woods. You got it. Hang on the line. M1 Mustache from San Diego. Who do you want? Mikey. You got me. Hang on. All right. What's a word, Jay? What's a word?

47:51Today's word is West. West. W-E-S-T. West. We've got to yell out the phrase if we know it. It's got the word West in it. There we go. There we go. Who's keeping the score? I am. All right. She wanted... Mae West! Dorothy's red slippers. Lauren. Dang it. Will Smith. Wild Wild West! Dang it. Wild Wild West. The Jets and the Sharks. What's my story? Gosh, you guys are freaking fast. Broadway. Martin Sheen played presidential. Westway, Westway, Westway. Buxom, blonde. Midwest. Darn it. I was saving that one. North Central Region of the United States. West Coast. South West. Pacific Northwest. Pacific Northwest. Pacific Northwest. Wait, say it again. North Central Region of the United States. Midwest.

48:58Someone already said it was. Gosh, you guys are good. I didn't hear it. There was a tie between you two. I'm the worst. Charleston is the capital of the state. West Virginia. Good. Batman TV star. Adam West. Famous military academy. West Point. West Point. City off the tip of Florida. West Palm Beach. West Palm Beach. Key West. It's a haven for gays. I wonder why you got that one. Because my parents live there. And plus, it's a haven for gays. New word. Funny. Funny? Funny. Funny's the word. Funny's the word. F-U-N-N-Y. Funny like how? Funny like a clown? Like how am I funny? The loony bin. Funny house! The nut house! The funny house! The funny bin! Funny form! There you go, Woods. What's the score, Lauren? Thank you! Why? Woods, eight. Me, three. Mike, one.

50:04Okay, I've got a couple 10-pointers here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. Do it, Jay. What is it? What's the word? Funny. Humorous. Funny bone. You little B. U-S-O-B. You little B. Such a fake bit. There we go. We got one more. Stick out your tongue and cross your eyes. Funny face. Make a funny face. You son of a bitch. Is that it? Yeah. That's it. Gosh darn it. This is so funny. Ten pointers. Good God. Austin. That a girl. Yeah. She brought it home. Enjoy that fake win. You just won yourself something from Nintendo. Nintendo. Still a W. A W is a W. Ten pointers. Hang on. Here's a 90 pointer. Here's a Beat Woods point. Yeah, seriously. I got so excited during that, I broke my stylus. Oh, no. Oh, no.

51:06I know, and I can't find the end of my stylus. You're missing the tip. That is true. Just the tip. Just the tip. Just for a second. I miss it too. It's never a second. That's true. That's never a second. And you guys know that, and so why do you allow it? You're just as dumb as we are. We're dumb for trying the bit, and then you're dumb for, you know. You're dumb. It works, though. It works real good. Yeah. Ah! When you're dating a guy, L.O.B., and you are making fun on the couch, you're making fun times. You're not making love. Not just making fun? You're just making fun times. Have you ever said, because he's trying to take it a step further, have you ever gone, nope? Yes. Oh, wow. In your head, were you thinking to yourself, I want to, but no? A few times, yes.

52:07But that does not condone no means yes, man. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. I understand this. No, no, no. I understand that. Knew it. The reason that I'm asking is because, Woods, have you ever been with the girl that she says no and you're like, all right. And then she starts initiating. Oh, yes. Yeah, for sure. And you're like, hey. Hang on a minute. Hold up. Yes, that's been me plenty of times. Are you serious? I realized something when I was in the dating world. If they say no, the best thing to do is just be like, yeah, no problem. Now you get nothing. They always come around. Sometimes like two minutes later. Yeah, sometimes like two minutes later. And then they go, no. And you're like, all right. Okay, okay. Don't ever try again because that makes you a D. That's true. But then they'll make it. It's real good. Woods found me this story. I find it fascinating. Oh, I didn't even get to the thing about why you're a good guy. No, you didn't. Four ways. You know what? I'm going to save it. It has to do with when you smell stuff and what it does to you and how it controls you. And this is scientific. It is scientific. It's really interesting. Oh, and then check this out.

53:34We have audio of a voicemail that Terrence Howard, you know the actor Terrence Howard? It's hard out here for a pimp. Hustle and flow. He thought that a guy was trying to... He thought that a guy was leaving voicemails on his wife's voicemail. So he called the guy and told the guy he was going to kill him. And then realized he messed up and called and apologized. We have both voicemails. Next. All the speed you need at a great price, $14.95 a month. And it's 12 months, a one-year price guarantee. You're going to want to get this. You get to pocket the extra money, and you're going to save that money every single month. And it includes the on-the-go access.

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1:02:15on the 163 southbound before the 5 due to a couple of flat tires. This report brought to you by In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger, no freezers, no microwaves the way it's always been, always will. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. The Mikey Show. That a word. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. It's The Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. Woods is our sports guy. Lauren is our assistant producer. Jay is our executive producer. And our phone screener is Chris. That's Kral. That's Kral. So the black word on the street. at least from SDG&E is, it was a utility worker. It was one utility worker. Come on. And they were trying to fix a substation, and they knocked the whole thing down. Well, you know there's a federal and state investigation going on, and there's one consumer advocate out there who's questioning SDG&E, and he said this. One individual.

1:03:51Even a group of individuals could not do what happened on Thursday. He says, we knew that. Insiders knew that. SDG&E had no business saying it. He says, I want to convince this utility that it doesn't make sense to lie to the public. Because they don't want liability and they want to persuade the public that it was somebody else and not them. And by the way, Arizona is basically saying the same thing like, don't put this on us. It wasn't our fault. Something happened. And I can't wait until it's all figured out and it's all said and done and we figure out. Because, dude, that was ginormous. Yeah, it was big time. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you in one second about a really good Serbian. Oh, wow.

1:04:44A real Serbian? A real Serbian. A real Serbian. Who's real good at what he does. Yeah. But first of all, the Sports Report is brought to you by Expressly Gourmet, delivering San Diego's favorite restaurants. Sounds delicious. Nice. So Novak Djokovic is the greatest tennis player in the world right now. The top-seeded Serbian. He is a Serbian. He is a Serbian. Defeated defending champ Rafa Nadal to win the U.S. Open. So congratulations to that Serbian. And also former Boston Red Sox All-Star World Series MVP Manny Ramirez was arrested Monday for slapping his wife, Juliana, with an open fist. Or an open hand. Oh my gosh. Well done. Dude. That's gnarly. He's had a rough year. Got kicked out of the game. Suspended for performance enhancing drugs. Beating his wife. It's not good. That isn't good. So I have the Terrence Howard audio of him leaving threatening voicemails on this stranger's voicemail. Telling him he's going to kill him. Wouldn't mess with that guy. Then realizing he was wrong about it, calling back and apologizing. There could be lightning this morning. Yep. Saw it. Yeah. 30% chance of lightning. And the reason is because there's a low pressure system. I wish I really understood that, but I don't.

1:06:04I wish I understood what that means, low pressure system. What is low pressure and high pressure? No idea. Weather person, call us. But because of it, it's drawing unstable air into San Diego from the southwest. And so between now and 11 o'clock this morning, it's the most likely that we're going to see some lightning out there. So there you go. I want to know about that pressure thing. It's interesting. Do you really, though? Yeah, I want to know. I've heard it. For whatever, I'm a geek about it. I'm interested in that stuff. Mikey Thon's October 6th and 7th. Raising money for Rady Children's Hospital and their Autism Discovery Institute. Listen to this. There's a few things about your sense of smell that control you. Pheromones, number one. Listen to this. This is with chicks, okay? They did a study with women.

1:07:07They had him smell different types of sweat while their brains were being scanned. So they put the little stickies on the head. They scanned their brains. Did an MRI. When a woman smells sweat from a guy who is horny, their brains lit up. How freaking crazy is that? In other words, sometimes you're sweating as a guy, but you're not horny. Right. Okay? Sometimes you're sweating as a guy and you're in the mood. Women can smell that sweat and know the difference. Their brains don't light up when you're not horny. But when you are and they smell the sweat, they know it. Horny guys go to the gym. Make that right. Well, if you go to the gym and you're horny, girls can tell. It's badass. It's kind of fascinating. It's fascinating. Now, they did this other study.

1:08:09That showed that both men and women could be able to, and this one, this fascinated me beyond belief. That both men and women may be able to smell fear. Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear? Now listen to this. Scientists collected sweat from people that were watching either a funny movie or a scary movie. And both sexes were able to identify which sweat. Was which? Wow. How crazy is that? Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear? I do. You're too precocious. Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear? Yeah, I do. Actually, I know that. Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear? You already asked. You're screaming. You're screaming at me in the backseat. Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear? Yes, I do. I do. I just want to get on the plane and go sign my client. Just leave me alone. Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear? Yes, you little bastard. Pleasant smells make you spend more money. Now, think about this.

1:09:11Imagine walking into a clothing store that sells jeans. You can almost smell it right now. Because they sell jeans, but they also usually sell cologne and perfume at the counter for whatever the jean company. Let's say it's True Religion. You walk into the mall, you go into a True Religion store, they sell jeans. You know what it smells like. It's got that almost woody sort of... The leathery smell. Well, what they found out is that a lot of these stores do it on purpose because there's a study that says that people double, double what they spend when there's masculine and feminine scents in these stores. I believe it, man. They were 100 percent. Hey, Woodsy, they reversed it, disappeared. There was I used to shop at Banana Republic a lot when I actually had to wear like nice clothes to work and stuff. Yeah. They bottled, I'm not kidding, they bottled the scent of their store and they called it Banana Republic Classic. And when you sprayed it on you, it smelled like Banana Republic. So, you know, anytime I walked in there, it was like immediately I felt at home and, you know, just reaching for the wallet. Like, yeah, I need that suit. I got to have that suit. I got to have that. Banana Republic Classic smells just like Banana Republic stores used to even before it came out with the cologne.

1:10:40It was so weird, dude. I'm not kidding. Dude, I'm telling you, man. It was fascinating. Smells to me are absolutely fascinating. You're a smell guy. Oh, big time. I bought this thing for my mom, which I just remembered. I haven't given it to her. It's in a little bottle. And I don't even know what it is. It's like an oil or something. But I smelled it, and my brain lit up. And the reason is because when I was a kid. We lived in Yuma, Arizona. We'd come to San Diego. Pop used to be in the military, and they would let us stay in Coronado on the base at a hotel. It wasn't anything fancy, but for us, it was living because it was on the beach. Actually, what it was was a motel. It was like a Navy motel. But I always remember driving across the Coronado Bridge, going there and everything and the whole bit. Well, what I really remember was the smell of that motel room. And it was not pleasant. It was a very pleasant smell. But I really remember the smell of the soap. They had soap at this motel. The kind that came in the paper that you peel the paper back and the little white bar is underneath it. And it had a very, very particular smell.

1:12:08And I only smelled it once a year when we went to Coronado, which was a fun time. Beach, the ocean, the whole bit. Well, I was in Hawaii and they had this little bottle of something, some sort of oil or something. I smelled it and I went, oh my gosh, that's that soap. That's cool. It smells like that soap. Takes you right back. Dude. And I got it and I got to give it to my mom because I want to say to her, smell this and tell me if it reminds you of anything. Yeah. Nostalgia. Oh, dude. If you think about it, imagine when you walk into your parents' house. You can almost smell it. Oh, you can. Because your parents' house has a smell. It's the strongest sense tied to memory. Yeah. Your smell. Every house does. There's houses that I hated just because of the smell. Dude. Every one of us, every single one of us listening right now had the friend whose house smelled like pee.

1:13:09Cat pee. That's mine now. It's perfect. Your house doesn't smell like that. Or at least when we've been over there, you've hid it. We try very hard to hide it with seven dogs. Holy cow. Seven dogs. There's houses that smelled like the wood-fired stove. It kind of just smelled like cabiny. Oh, yeah. Love that. Love that wood-fire smell. Here's one that isn't so pleasant, but Robert Duarte had a puppy. And they kept the puppy in a room all to itself with newspaper on the floor. And the way that they would mask the smell was with original Lysol. Yep. Oof. And I will never forget the two smells mixed together. Lysol and urine. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's hideous. Like hospitals to me. Lysol smells like hospitals to me, too. You get me out of here. You say hospital immediately. You know what it smells like. Nursing home. Oh, absolutely. Yep. Had a couple of relatives in the old nursing home. For me, it smelled like cafeteria food. Yeah. If you walk into a cafeteria, I'm like, oh boy. Oh boy. Grocery store. Yep. Yep. It's got a cold, clean smell. Doctor's office. Doctor's office. CVS has a specific smell. 100%. F Street.

1:14:39Smells like Friday night. Semi-pro baseball field always has a smell. Well, that's a very similar smell to a high school football. Middle school. Or middle school field. I don't know. It's different. Right after a rainstorm or a freshly mowed lawn. Oof. You mean the semi-professional field, Jay? Just a field of any sort. What's a field? Sports field. What's a field? I'm sick, man. Let's leave it. I'm going to kill you one. Would just freak you shut up, man. Hey, disgust me. Yeah, shut up. It's our new bit. Disgusted Jay. He's very disgusted today. Studies have shown that if you're exposed to a certain smell when you're studying and you have the same smell when you're taking the test, you're more likely to remember the information. How rad. Good to know. Yeah. Very interesting. I found that interesting. All right, Terrence Howard.

1:15:46Listen to this. He thought that somebody was hitting on his wife and leaving voicemails on his wife. So he called and left this message on the person's voicemail. Well, that's not ambiguous. Hello, this is Terrence Howard. One movie I did with Hustle and Flow. Hustle and Flow. Hustle and Iron Man. I was an Iron Man. I'm going to slit your freaking throat. Right. I'm going to kill you. I'm Terrence Howard. Well, later Terrence realized that he was wrong. And so he called back. Just get your voicemail. Now, here's what happened. A girl got Terrence Howard's phone number. She gives it to her buddy. Her buddy goes out, has a couple cocktails. And she decides she's going to leave famous Terrence Howard a voicemail saying how much she loves him.

1:17:21Only it wasn't Terrence's phone number. It was his wife's phone number. So Terrence's wife gets this message. And it's a woman. It's not a guy. It's a woman. But Terrence calls the number back. Oh, this is the detail I forgot to leave out. When the drunk girl decided she wanted to call Terrence, her phone was dead. So she asked her buddy who's a guy, can I use your phone? Yep. So she uses his phone. Now, Terrence calls the number back and hears a dude like, hey, what's up? Blah, blah, blah. And Terrence is like, what the hell? What are you doing, man? So he leaves that threatening voicemail. Now, I don't get it because I'm like, well, dude, it's a chick. I mean, can't you tell it's a chick that's leaving this message? Like, wouldn't your first reaction be like, what the heck is that?

1:18:24If a chick left a message on my wife, Rebecca's voicemail, she's like, I love you. I mean, I guess my first thought would be maybe Rebecca's gone lesbian. Yes. You know, my first thought would be you guys should kiss. Maybe not. Not me, but he picked up her phone and saw a missed call. I'm called. Didn't even. Didn't even listen. That could be it. That's it. That could be it, too. Who's calling my wife? Yeah. That's probably it. And then realized, oh, I screwed up. I wouldn't mess with that dude. He tells his wife, hey, just so you know, I took care of the guys and called me. You know that was a drunk girl that pranked me? Call him back. That would be like the time that I got Pauly Shore's number and called him drunk several times and then he had to change his number. That is a new wrinkle.

1:19:27that when I first moved here, one of my friends somehow got a hold of his number. So we would get drunk and be like, Pauly, hey, come meet us out. It would never be him. It would always be a voicemail. Wow. Because he didn't recognize the number. Yeah. Well, what else was that guy doing? He probably should have come out and hung out with you guys. One night we called. This number has been disconnected. We were like, darn it. He had to change his number. My gosh. L-O-B used to prank call Pauly Shore. I used to say hip. And he never called the number back and said, who is this? No, it was back, you know, it was back in like 2003 or something. Holy crap. Some cell phones were just starting to be like the norm that everyone had. Yeah. I got Courtney Cox's phone number and called her on the air. First and last time I called her. Chanter? Yeah. Wow. How'd you get her number? A friend of mine who was a former roommate worked at her home doing interior decorating. And while a little inebriated, gave me her phone number. And I was like, oh, I'm going to call the girl from Friends on the radio. So I was like, let's give it a shot. Sure enough. Hello.

1:21:00It's Courtney Cox. I would have vomited. No, I was excited. I was like, oh, cool. We're going to talk Courtney Cox. What did she say? She goes, who is this? And I go, it's Mikey from Rock 102. At the time, it was Rock 102. That's Mikey from Rock 102. She goes, how the hell did you get this number? Oh, my God. And then I got scared. Instant hang up for me. Yeah. Tippy-toe, tippy-toe, tippy-toe. Well, and I was on the air, so I had to try to maintain sounding cool. Right. And this was before I was myself, so I used to try to sound like a surfer. I did. Oh, dude. She goes, who is this? And I go, it's Mikey at 102. And she goes, what's Mikey at 102? Oh, God. It was mortifying. How long did it go? Probably 30 seconds. How'd you get the number? Me not telling. Me asking her, you know, I was trying to be, I wasn't being a clown. Right. You'd be nice. Yeah. But she was not interested in having a conversation with Mikey from 102. Genius. At all. Bunch of beers that we are not buying anymore. People are not down. No, you're not buying. Well, I don't buy beers anymore. Right. But, all right, you beer drinkers, you're not buying these beers anymore.

1:22:35We'll tell you what they are. And then we want ladies to call right now for Ask the Dudes. Now, here's how Ask the Dudes works. You're going to get three very different opinions because you're going to be asking me and Sickie and Woods. All right? You're going to ask us a question that has to do with anything you want to know from a guy and a guy's perspective. And we will tell you the truth. I will be brutally honest. Yep. Woods has his take. Everybody's got their take. But we want only women. 570-1949. Ladies, you got a question about men? You want to know. You're in a situation. Something's going on. You're like, what does this mean? What is he thinking? I don't understand. Blah, blah, blah. Anything. Call us. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. It's often said that actions speak louder than words. And what better example than car and drivers take on the BMW 3 Series? They not only named it to their 10 best list again this year, but they did so for an unprecedented 20 years in a row. Is it because...

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1:28:02You know, your reason. What's that thing that makes you want to live to an age where you can say whatever you want to whomever you want and somehow it becomes charming? Next, find your thing. What is that healthy thing you actually love doing? There's got to be one, right? Finally, go find your partner. Who's the ping to your pong? The downward to your dog? Who'll keep your butt moving and vice versa? Find all of those things. We're pretty sure your motivation will magically appear. But if you're still having trouble finding it, Try looking really, really hard in the mirror. We're Kaiser Permanente, and we're here to help you find your motivation to thrive. Visit thrive.kp.org. Your waiter asks if you're having your usual. Your barber says short back and sides, right? Your tailor is resigned to gray. It's time for a change. Replace the mundane with the exceptional at the Lexus-certified pre-owned Season to Change sales event. Every vehicle undergoes a 161-point inspection, is factory-backed, and comes with a three-year, 100,000 total vehicle mile warranty, roadside assistance, and complimentary loaner car. And now through October 31st, every one is available at 1.9% APR. So go on, let your hair down, or at least get a hip or cut. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego.

1:29:2548 monthly payments of 2165 per thousand finance. Call 1-800-USA-LEXIS for important APR program limitations and offer details on the limited number of customers who qualify. No down payment required of qualified warranty is three years from your day to purchase or 100,000 total vehicle miles. World side assistance coverage only available in continental U.S. See your certified pre-owned Lexus dealer for details. Offer ends October 31st, 2011. Honda production is back at full speed and your Honda dealers of San Diego County are getting ready for a big fourth quarter. They've got plenty of cars and plenty of deals. Visit SDHondaDealers.com today. It's good to be back. This report is brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage. For your auto home or your condo, call 877-Wawanisa, or you can go to wawanisaus.com. Rate shopping, it can actually pay off. Well, it looks like the 78 eastbound at the 15, there is an accident over on the right shoulder. 15 southbound after 9th Avenue, an accident here. It's five cars piled up together over in the number one lane.

1:30:23Stalled vehicle tying things up on the 805 northbound at University Avenue. This report also brought to you by Constant Contact. Want your marketing plan to be as stress-free as the open road? Constant Contact combines email marketing and social media to give your small business the tools to succeed. Visit ConstantContact.com to get started. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. with the FM 94.9 authentic surf report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by Joe Roper's righteous surfboard repairs down on Marina Boulevard. Today we're seeing a slight and slow increase in south-southwest pretty swell, which is a good thing. Secondary northwest out there at the same time too. That means sides have picked up some. Looking at knee to waist, chest tight plus waist on average in most open areas right now, fitting consistent, especially with that fatter tide. Top open areas open to the south swell, can see some chest-to-head high ways, but again, on a very inconsistent basis. and only those areas that do face that summer swell direction. Water-wise, looking at water temps, about mid-60s right now. It's warmed up a little bit as that increased south swell has picked the temperatures up a notch or two. Looking at the high tide this morning, it'll be in about a 5-foot plus or right around 10, 30, 11. So that will slow down in quite a few areas. Beach breaks right now, semi-walled up, pick and choose corners off the better structured areas. As the tide starts to drop out later in the day, look for those top south-facing reef areas to improve as well. Looks like a fun day to serve ahead of us.

1:31:50For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surpline.com, and the Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. That's a new Switchfoot. You know, they're going to be playing this weekend after the game, after the Padres game on Sunday. Good times. New record in two weeks from today, my friend. Do not wait. It's going to be amazing. So, uh... We have a picture booth here in the studio. If you want to be a part of our live studio audience, you can go to MikeyShow.com, sign up for it. We've got room today, by the way. If you're out and about and want to come down at 9, come down and hang out with us. We've got room for today, so it's a very cool thing. People get to hang out in the studio and watch what we do, and it's fun. I love you, I'll kiss you. Yeah. We have a separate booth for that. Yeah, a separate booth.

1:33:41We have mypicturebooth.com, which is taking pictures of you, and then we'll have lobkissingbooth.com as soon as we can. Get that up this afternoon. That's right. All right, so a couple things to tell you about. I wanted to tell you about the beers that people are not buying anymore. I'm fascinated to hear this list because I probably like all of them. You like Michelob? Yes, very much. Well, they are down 72. No way. It's so good. Well, and here's what they're saying. They're like, think about it. When's the last time you had one? Now, I don't know because I don't drink beer, but has it been a while? It's been a while, bro. I'll tell you. It has been a while, but boy, I love some ice cold Michelob. You can isolate that. It's all the micro brews. Michelob Light is down 68%. Delicious. Yeah, same thing. Don't you drink Michelob Ultra, Woods? I do sometimes. Is that all right? It's a girl beer. Still beer. Is it? Bud. Select. Never heard of it. Not a big fan of it, but you know me. I'm a Budweiser man through and through. What's Bud Select? It has a different flavor to it. Low calorie? I don't think it's a low calorie. I think it's a different flavor. I just remember it being a little sweeter. It's down 60%. I'm surprised. Milwaukee's Best. Oh man, my college beer. The Beast. The Beast.

1:35:07It's down 53%. You ever wake up with a beast hangover? Why is it called the beast? Milwaukee's best. And it's beastly. Oh my gosh. It smells. All day. Yeah. You know, you know. Are they affiliated with Keystone? Because I used to love Keystone Light back in the day. Keystone was like when we wanted to be fancy. We got Keystone in college. We got a couple extra bucks. Natural Light and Milwaukee's Best. Oh, that's hideous. Matty and Beast. And Bush. Bush. Old Milwaukee's down 52%. Hideous. Not to be confused with the Beast. It's actually made by Pabst. Miller Genuine Draft is down 51%. Never liked it. MGD. MGD. MGD, and then Milwaukee's Best Light is down 34%. Beast Light. MGD Hot was the first beer I ever had. It was skunk and had been under my deck for about three years. How did you ever drink a beer again? After drinking that the first time, I'm surprised you ever tried beer again. It took a while. You're like, this tastes like...

1:36:13Puke. Yeah, I found my sister's old stash from when she was a senior. And I was like, ooh. Oh, you are. And then finally, what's his go-to? Shut up, bud. Shut up. It's down 30. I'm telling you, microbrews are taking over. Well, here's the deal. Woods, Woods, before you start to turn your nose up at the microbrews. I'm not turning my nose up at anything. I'm all American. Come on. I drink American beer. There's microbrews in there. The microbrews are putting their nose up to me. Not all. 95% of microbrews are American. Why that? Why are you giving me that hand motion? Yeah, Budweiser is not American. Stone. I like Budweiser. Let's talk. I like Budweiser. Let's talk about it, though. Okay. I want to talk to you about it. And I don't drink beer anymore, but when I did, I liked micro brews. And the reason why. Well, here's the reason why. Fancy. You like fancy. B.S. You like fancy. B.S. Are you saying you don't like fancy? No, I can't say that. You can't say that. I do like fancy. But let me, this is all I'm saying to you.

1:37:16If you pour a micro brew into a glass and blindfold you and you pour a bud into a glass and blindfold you and you taste them back to back, one of them tastes better. It just tastes better. I know. The Budweiser tastes better. It's not. I'm telling you, that's my deal, man. Like I don't beer for me. I don't like to. Oh, this would go really well with an oatmeal stout. Like that's not that's not me. There's two people in the world that are like that. The rest of the world goes, hey, this just tastes good. I want to drink it. It tastes good. Two people. Really, Woods? Do you think that most people that drink micro brews are like, I want to put it with my palatable cheese. No. Micro brews are put together by small breweries. Dude. They take the time and handcraft their beers. Dude. Dude. Brood. Brood. Hey, brood. Micro brew guys are hanging out watching a Charger game, drinking it out of the bottle. They're not having grapes and cheese. Some of them, maybe they are. But I'm telling you, if it tastes better, you've heard it a million times that those big beers taste like pee. They're just like watered down. Ice cold Budweiser in a bottle is my favorite beer. I would take it over any beer out there. I would definitely drink Budweiser. I saw you drinking Budweiser at the Padre Sweet, sucking them down real good. I like it.

1:38:34See, and I think it's because you guys are just used to it. No, I love a Budweiser. Taste test. I love it. You go to the pizza port, get a slice of it. I did. Get a pizza and a micro-brew. I did. We do a taste test. I did it last Saturday. And you didn't like the micro-brew? I do like it. I prefer Budweiser. I believe that you don't, and I'd like to do a taste test. I'd like to do a taste test. Blindfold you. What is going to be the point of the taste test? If I can tell the difference? No, no, no. Because I can tell the difference. No. What I want is, I want you to tell me which one tastes the best. And you might pick Budweiser, but I doubt it. Okay. And the way that we'll do it is, we will have like six beer samples. Okay? Okay. Three of them will be micros. Okay. And three will be like Coors, Bud. Domestics. Michelob. Michelob. You know, like the biggest of the domestics. Miller, maybe. Okay. Now, I don't expect you to be able to pinpoint Bud. I don't expect that. Because that would be hard. I probably can. That would be very difficult. I bet you I could. Maybe you can. But I think it would be tough. If you can, I'm really impressed. But if I blindfold you and I just say, Woodsy, I want you to tell me which one of these just tastes the best to you. Okay. I'm curious to see what you say. Yeah, I can do it. You know, I don't drink a lot of beer anymore, but I'd be happy to try.

1:39:58Don't you? I don't. But I'd be happy to try. What did you do when the power went out? Drank some beer. Okay. 50? Yes. 50. M1 Alexa is on the line from San Diego. She's calling about Ask the Dudes. Now, if you're a female, you're listening, and you want to ask a question, guys. Could be about some dude you're seeing. Could be about your husband. Could be any dude question. And we're not looking for the lame, hey, how can we leave the seat up? We want to know your deepest, darkest thoughts and curiosities about us. It's like the thing I asked L.O.B. earlier. I really wanted to know, hey, L.O.B., did you ever say to a guy when you were getting frisky on the couch, no, and then he says, okay, and stops, only for you to initiate a few moments later. And she said, Yes, I did. One time. Okay. Now, that is a look into a female mind. This is your opportunity to ask men and get a real answer about it. And the reason that we do it is we are so different. Oh, yeah. Could not be more different. We're from Mars. And women are from Venus. They're from Venus. It's almost like that. It's kind of like that. M1 Alexa from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah.

1:41:20Hi, guys. Hi. How are you? Good. Okay, so me and my boyfriend yesterday had a conversation about how we want to start our relationship. Or we've been dating for a year, but we want to change it and try to be more honest with each other because some stuff happened several months ago. And after that, we just probably not as good as we should have been. Wait, wait, wait. We got to stop you, though. We got to stop you. You can't just say some stuff happened. Skip over that. You can't just say some stuff happened. Yeah, some details. Well, he went on a vacation. Where? Where? Where? Spring break, cruise to Mexico, Cabo, Puerto San, whatever. I don't know. Was it a bunch of guys? No, he went with his grandpa, but he was allowed to just do whatever he wanted. And he's 18, so he went to the clubs, dances, whatever. Did he tell you? And he told you about it? Yeah, kind of. I kind of had to get it out of him, but he came clean. Okay. Now, did anything else happen? Because you said that there was some trust issues. So did anything else happen at the club? In Mexico? Yes. Like what happened specifically? Yeah, did anything happen there or did he just go dance? Did he make love on the boat? Did he drink? Yeah. Did he make love to a girl? Yeah. Yeah, he did. Wow, that's pretty, yeah, that's kind of serious. Wow. How long ago was that? This was like seven months ago. Okay.

1:42:44And you're still with him. All right, so what is your question? So we, like, started yesterday. We talked about trying to start an honest relationship and, like, tell each other what we've been doing and try to change it because we're tired of, like, thinking the other person's lying and having no trust. Told me that he was flirting around with the girls a little just to see if, like, he had, like, to boost his confidence, kind of, because he was, like, I guess he's so confident about his looks or whatever. So he wanted to boost his confidence. And I told him that I was dancing with guys at my school dance. And basically saying, okay, well, let's just be honest with each other. And I don't know what to think about it. How old are you? I'm 18. Now, for a lot of people, this is like, really? I mean, we're hearing about this 18. I'm 41. Fascinates me. Look at Woods. He's like, me too. Me too. He's so into it. Okay. Let's start with the guy that's. got a paper towel up to his face, wiping snot away. That would be Jason R. Isbell. Yes. Go ahead, Jay. You need to tell him to get, blow him off. There's no way. If he's trying to boost his confidence and he's already fooled around, he's not the guy for you. Woods. Yeah, you're 18 years old. You sound really cute. Really cute. And you sound really nice. Yes. And I think that, you know, you're 18. Listen, don't.

1:44:08I tell everybody, wait until you're about 25 to settle down in anything serious. Go have some fun. And I don't mean sleep with a lot of dudes, don't I? But I mean just go out and have fun. Be with your friends. Learn who you are before you get all caught up in a relationship, especially with a guy that's kind of a dirtbag. 570-1949 is our number. This is ladies. It's called Ask the Dudes. We will tell you the straight skinny. We're going to give you the real deal about whatever your situation is that you're in. With a guy. Because he's 18, I believe people change. But they don't change at 18. He slept with a girl. You got it out of him. The fact that you were able to get it out of him, to me, indicates deep insecurity on his part. Because he felt the need to tell you. Not out of honesty, in my opinion. But out of... The desire to emotionally get the reaction that he was going to get. Right. Because he's that insecure. He wanted her to know. He wanted her to know. He wanted you to know so he could feed off of your hurt. Right. Because he needs it. And then this whole other thing about, oh, well, I did it because I was trying to boost my self-esteem. Sounds like a gigantic lie because he wants to mess around.

1:45:40I can tell you with 98% certainty that if you stay in this relationship, dude is going to jack you like he's going to carjack you. There's no doubt in my mind. But what I also know is that people do what they're going to do. People do what they're going to do. You can tell people a million times, they're like, oh, I think it's different. Yeah, you should see it when it's just us. When it's just us. He's so sweet. He's so different. I'm sure my wife gives that bit to her friends a lot. Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you for the call. 570. Thanks, guys. Good luck. Little angel. Little angel. We knew you'd like her. 18. 570. A little old for you. 194.9. Are you talking to Woods? Yes. Oh. You know. Jay has been known to find young women attractive as well. I don't know what you're talking about. Well, we can't really discuss it. Especially when the poor guy's over there just wiping snot with a little tissue. What's the date we can talk about the day after Thanksgiving weekend? Yeah, the Monday we come back after Thanksgiving, which isn't that far away. We'll tell all about Jay's creepy affinity for young girls. Family. Oh, there's $22.

1:47:04I didn't say it. I didn't say who you did. No, I didn't. And I didn't say who it was. $22. M1 April from San Diego. Go ahead. Good. Good. Well, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, about a year. I'm 25. He's 28. He just moved out of state last week to go find a job. He wasn't able to find a job in law enforcement out here. And, you know, it's hard because I want to know. Should I commit to him? And I don't know that I'm willing to move. He's your boyfriend? Yes. We've been together for a year. And, you know, he says that he wants to be with me and marry me. But, you know, I don't know that we should. I don't know where this is going. Where did he move to? What's going on in his head? Where did he move to? He moved to Colorado. And did he move to Colorado to accept a job? No. He got a couple leads.

1:48:03He moved back with his parents and is trying to find a job. So there was nothing set in stone. Is it his hometown? He's from Colorado. Did he grow up in this town that he's going to stay with his parents in? No. He didn't. So in other words, wherever he grew up, his folks moved from that place to this place in Colorado. Moved back with his folks. Got it. And he's 28. Yeah. And he's going to try to get a job in law enforcement because he's got some leads there. And he wants you to follow him out there? No, he hasn't said that. I mean, he's basically saying, you know, well, I'll try to find a job and then maybe I'll come sweep you off her feet, you know, kind of thing. It's like, well, if everything's up in the air, it's a maybe, but it's like, I don't know that. I mean, he's 28, and I feel like this entire year he hasn't been willing to commit. Jay. I would definitely bow out of the relationship. Woods. Yeah. He has just made his getaway. No offense to you, because you two sound very lovely. But this guy, you don't move for leads. You move for a done deal. You don't leave your best girl. You don't leave your girl.

1:49:30For a lead. It's a bad economy. No, I get it's a bad economy. I totally get it. But you don't move. Moving is drastic. Well, you can move. But if you do move, there's a plan. Well, yes. But even if you move and there's no plan, there's no job, you do have an arrangement with the girl that you're leaving. Exactly. And it sounds like he didn't set up any arrangements. Well, April, are you guys in a committed relationship even now? Absolutely. We talk and, you know, and I still committed to him. I know that I'm not going to go out, you know. So he's your boyfriend. But he wouldn't commit to her, she said, necessarily. Wait, wait. Getting ahead of ourselves. He is your boyfriend here in San Diego. Dude was your boyfriend. Yes, absolutely. We had been together for a year. Okay. And then he says, I'm moving. And he doesn't have any conversations with you about like, but hey, I want us to stay together while I go. Yeah, we've said that. But even after, he's only been gone for a week. And even after a week, the communication sucks. Yeah. So I was like, wow, you know, I don't know. Listen, I'll tell you, a lot of times the answers are right, you know, as you're talking it out, the answers are there. Yeah, it's hard to follow that. There's a lot of great guys here in San Diego. And my job and my family's here. Right, yeah. No reason to leave.

1:51:00Yeah. Yeah. And there's something about the parent thing, too. We'll have that and the just, hey, I'm going to take it back to my folks' house. You keep trucking. I'll see you. I'll call you, though. I'm going to call you. I know we've been together a year. I'm going to call you. And if I get a job, you know, I'll sweep you off your feet. Will you? Yeah. Sign me up for that. Please. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Thanks, April. It's going to be okay. Thank you. M1 Evita from San Diego has got an interesting one. Should I go ahead? Yes. Okay, the 4th of July, my husband threw his shoe at my head, so I left because he had already punched me in the leg Father's Day, and I told him I wouldn't have it. Okay, I move out, and I would try to work it out, go to counseling, and I'm not feeling it. I take off for my birthday, and I realize I just don't miss him. I tell him I want a divorce, and he ends up thinking that I'm hooking up with my tattoo artist, and he serves me with paper. I don't know what to do. What's your question? My question, oh, now he wants me back.

1:52:01He served me with papers, and now he wants me back. Okay, what's your question? My question? Well, what the hell is his problem? And what should she do? He's crazy. He's crazy. He's crazy. Get out. He's wacky. Yeah, run. Okay, now the tattoo artist is an ex-con, and now he likes me. Good. From both. Just get it. I mean, it's easy. Listen, not to get too deep on you here, Evita. Not to get too deep on you. You realize that you got a little bit of a pattern going on? Do you realize that? Going after the wrong guy? Well, yeah. One guy beats the crap out of you and then you find an ex-con. Yeah. I'm not saying the ex-con is going to beat the crap out of you. All I'm saying is that you went from a dude that's beating the crap out of you to an ex-con tattoo artist. That's in on you. That's in on you. I mean, this is my advice. My advice is get into a head mechanic.

1:52:58And let him get under the hood and find out why you're choosing guys that beat the crap out of you. And why you're attracted. It doesn't matter. You're enough. One is enough. And by the way, I don't believe it. The only reason that you're saying that is because that's what he's told you. Look what you made me do. That's his bit, I'm sure. You made me do this. But the deeper issue is that you are attracted to a type of dude. And you've got to figure out, well, why am I attracted to the type of dude? Dangerous. Those types of dudes. What was your dad like? My dad is super Mexican. We ride a lot of horses. I'm really close with him. Good guy? Did he ever go to jail? My dad? No. He's a lawyer. He ever beat your mom up? No, never. Good guy? And that's what pisses me off. I'm getting a divorce. I didn't make it to year two. Good dude. What about your mom? Was your mom cool? My mom's a flight attendant. She's been in and out. Been in and out of what? Well, just because she flies.

1:54:00four days out of the week, so she wasn't always there. My dad always was. Got it. Yeah. All right. I think maybe my brother and his friends are a bunch of jerk-offs. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, could be. I hung out with them a lot. Look for somebody like your dad. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. Lean on your dad. I'm scared about my dad now. This time. Yeah, go for a guy like your dad. I think you said something bad. Yeah. Hey, thank you for the call. I appreciate it. Good luck, hon. That was like Geraldo. This next bit is going to be great. It's called Pick Your Poison. L.O.B. is going to list girls that are not of the most desirable type. And we have to say which one we'd be in a relationship with and why. It's sort of like a worst-case scenario. Right. But you've got to pick the best of the worst. It's lesser of two evils. Lesser of two evils. And if you've got any, we'll let you call with those. It's coming up next. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9.

1:55:10Hey, it's Hillary, and today at noon on FM 94.9, we're doing Desert Island Discs. So what three records would you have to have with you if you were stranded on a deserted island? Are you the Bob Marley sublime Johnny Cash type? Or wouldn't Arcade Fire Radiohead James Addiction Trio float your boat or your raft? I don't care if you pick Black Flag, Melt Banana, and Celine Dion. All right, let's not go that far. Tell us your three favorite records now at fm949sd.com and listen today at noon. Desert Island Discs on FM 94.9. Sometimes when I just need to grab a few things, I had a Chevron Extra Mile instead of the Superstore. It's so easy, why wouldn't you? They've got great brands at reasonable prices, every snack and drink you can think of, and there aren't any of those creepy greeters at the door. I mean, those guys freak me out. Stop by your nearest Chevron Extra Mile for a sweet deal. Get two of any king-size to-go or sharing-size candy for $3 through October 31st, one at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Hey there, Padres fans. This is Tim Foreman from Switchfoot. Come see us play here in our hometown of San Diego at Petco Park following the Padres game Sunday, September 18th. Catch your Padres as they take on the Arizona Diamondbacks Sunday, September 18th at 105.

1:56:32and stay for a post-game concert featuring San Diego's own Switchfoot. The concert is after the game with a paid ticket. Don't wait. Get your tickets today at Padres.com slash Switchfoot. Mom, I want to be a pilot. Is it tough? It's not easy, but you could do it. Study hard, go to a good school, never skip your math homework. Piece of cake. Oh, yeah? But can you finish those carrots for your pilot's vision? I'd rather do my math homework. Thought so. There's a moment when an activity becomes an accomplishment, and when that moment comes for your child, you want to be ready. The Scholarshare Plan, California's official 529 plan, can help your kids reach their potential. It's a careful, consistently maintained college savings program, and your earnings are federal and California state income tax-free when used for qualified higher education expenses. For more information, visit Scholarshare.com or call 800-544-5248. To learn more about the Scholarshare College Savings Plan and its investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses, please contact Fidelity for a fact kit. Read it carefully. The Scholarshare College Savings Plan is offered by the Scholarshare Investments. Fidelity Brokerage Services member NYSE SIPC.

1:57:49For thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair, Ovation Cell Therapy and the new Paraben Sulfate and Formaldehyde-Free Advanced Ovation Cell Therapy System is the buzz everyone's talking about. I started using Ovation because of the commercials I heard on the radio. I saw an improvement in my hair immediately. It was shiny and easy to manage, and I'm not seeing large amounts of hair in my brush after washing. Ovation is the best product I found for my hair. I'll use it as long as you keep making it. Stop the breakage costs from harsh chemicals and heat styling. Restore dry, brittle, and damaged hair to a softer, smoother, healthier, more beautiful appearance guaranteed. Grow your hair. Thicker, stronger, and longer. Simply log on to OvationHair.com and click on FM 94.9 at checkout to receive a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to select FM 94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. If a car drove by recently that made you point and say, how cool, what is that?

1:58:46Chances are you spotted the all-new Ford Fiesta, quite possibly the perfect car for San Diego. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. Sure, Fiesta's a compact car, but you don't have to compromise a thing. You'll get up to 40 miles per gallon on the highway. Hey, there are 21 hybrids that don't get that kind of MPG. Seriously, the interior looks like the cockpit of a Learjet, and it's quiet. Spooky quiet. If you dig technology, you'll dig this car. Fiesta's available with hands-free sync. Say a command, and it'll dial your phone and play your favorite tunes. You're going to want to show this car off for your friends. And feel free to brag about what you paid. Fiesta starts at just $13,320. So stop pointing, wondering, and wishing. What is that? Just come into any San Diego County Ford dealer and drive one. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 29 MPG city, 40 highway, 33 combined. Hybrid claim based on automatic SFE versus 2010 and 2011 hybrids. MSRP excludes tax, title, destination, and registration fees. Optional equipment not included. See dealer for details. This is Dan Tullis, and I just called Joel Clark, one of select quote insurance services term life agents. Hi, Melissa. Joel, how does select quote save you money on term life insurance? Can you give me an example? Sure. Call 1-800-300-5148 and see how affordable term life insurance can be.

2:00:23That's 1-800-300-5148. 1-800-300-5148. Or go to selectquote.com. We shop, you save. Get full details on the example policy at selectquote.com slash commercials. Your price could vary depending on your health, issuing company, and other factors. Not available at all. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. It's actually October 6th and 7th. Yes. We start at 6 o'clock in the morning, and we do not get off the air until the next day at 10 o'clock in the morning. It is grueling. It is grueling because you're talking, man, the whole time. I'm wondering, I thought we all did pretty well last year. We first-timers. Now we kind of have an idea of what it's like, and I think it's going to be even better. I think we're going to be a little bit more prepared. Absolutely.

2:02:22It's going to be good. That was a B, though. I'll tell you. It kicks your butt. You know, the worst part is, is when you broadcast for 16 hours straight, you're like, hey, we just hit hour 16. And you go, we have 12 hours left. Like, we're just over the halfway mark. Then you start to lose your mind. Here's the other thing. There's a point where you feel like, I'm done, man. I can't keep going. And you realize, oh, we're not halfway done. Oh, I know. We're not halfway there yet. We're not at hour 14 yet. Yeah, it's a grueling deal and gets media attention. We raised money for Rady Children's Hospital for their Autism Discovery Institute. Really cool stuff to auction off. I emailed Sonny last night from POD and he said he's in. Nice. He said he's going to get some stuff together. Signed by the band. See if he can talk to Chino. to get some stuff from the Deftones, and I will bid on that like you wouldn't believe. You know what? He knows a lot. I know he does. Yeah, he knows a lot of guys. And that's what he said. He's like, hey, man, give me all the details because I know guys. Sonny is the nicest guy ever. He texted me during Wipeout. He said he was watching it and said he was rolling. Isn't that great? Yeah, he's great. He's such a cool guy. And all the guys from POD listen to the Mikey show and just good dudes, man. So I'm really looking forward to Mikey-thon.

2:03:47Okay, so it's time for Pick Your Poison. And me and Woods and Jay will play. And L.O.B., we have to decide between the lesser of two evils. And why? And why. So she's going to give us a couple of girls, and we have to say which one we'd be in a relationship with and why. And this is relationship. This is fornication. Well, that's included. But it's not a one-night stand. No, you're in a relationship with them. Are we ready? Yes. All right. Kate Gosselin or Sarah Palin? Oh, wow. There's so much wrong with that. Everything about it is wrong. Yes. Everything about it. Listen, well, just listen to Kate Gosselin for a second. I mean, there is some relief, but there is... Her show just got canceled. Kate. Plus eight. Because it's the end of an era. I feel sad for my kids because of all of the opportunities that they're now questioning what's going to happen. You should have saved some of that money. I believe they're equally attractive. I would choose Sarah Palin. The reason I would choose Sarah Palin is because I've been told that Kate Gosselin is a bossy lady.

2:05:21She's very bossy and that she, and I don't like it. I don't like it. Sarah Palin doesn't strike me as the bossy. She strikes me as cool. Just kind of dingy. Woods, you have a different opinion. Yeah, I'm going with Kate Gosselin in a heartbeat. She's ordering you around. You're crazy. The kid will get that out of her, trust me. No worries there. But, yeah, she's much foxier, I think, than Sarah Palin. You don't get that out of those girls. You don't get it out of them. You can't. You can't. They'll kill you. Okay, that's fine. Dude. I'm not listening to Sarah Palin. Whiny, conservative all the time bit. She whips me like she whips me too. All the pez out of that dispenser, you're not going to... I mean, really? All the pez out of that dispenser. I don't understand. You know exactly what it means. I do not. All the babies. Oh, that's so filthy. Bye, Mike. That is the most graphically horrific thing. Well, Sarah Palin had five, right? Yeah. I don't know, man. Weren't there eight C-sections? Wasn't it C-sections? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, C-sections. Did you not see her stomach? She was wrapped in saran wrap. So who would you pick, Jay? Sarah. Why?

2:06:44I think she's a lot foxier. But you've got to give me something else besides Foxy. Well, she's not worn out. Okay, and who's next? Sweet Marie. I'm going to throw you guys a bone here. Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan? Same time. Nope. And you have to be in a relationship with them. Okay. I got mine. I know mine. Lindsay Lohan, because I've got issues. Because you also went to Betty Ford? Yep. That's why we have that in common. I believe, foolishly, I could change her. Change her? Wouldn't she take you down with her like in a flaming ball? Just a cocaine haze, real good. Oh, and Paris won't. Come on, Mike, just one. Just one, Drake. It's one bump. You don't think Paris would do the same thing? I don't think so. She's a little more together. Yeah, a little bit. She hasn't blown up like Lindsay has.

2:07:53She's as old as me. No. You know what? Paris Hilton is a cheater. We played a clip where I just remembered this. We played a clip where a boyfriend that she had broke up with her. She likes to get on her phone. Scandalous. And start texting all the old boyfriends. I would be way too insecure to date Paris Hilton because. She can get anybody better looking than me. And she will. And she will. Lindsay can't? Yes, but the deal with Lindsay is she's so broken and I can treat her so well. Plus she's a lesbian, so that's a plus. She's bi-curious. She dabbled. Which is pretty foxy. She's not anymore and it isn't foxy in my opinion, but Woods? I'm going with Paris Hilton.

2:08:51I'm shocked by that. Just a stunning... Do you ever make decisions purely based on sexual intercourse? Do you ever make decisions that have nothing else to do with anything but sex? The kid has had some substance abuse issues back in the day. So listen, Lindsay Lohan and I... Dude, we'd be like Bonnie and Clyde, okay? We'd be kicking down doors of the Viper Room at 4 a.m. You got me. I'll take Paris on a weekend. She's got dough. No, you're in a relationship. I know, no. We go on a weekend. She's got money. We go to Aruba. We lay on the beach. We drink pina coladas. We have a good time. In. And she's a little hoity-toity. What about her boobs, though? I'm in on her boobs. She's got the boobs that you like. That's fine. You don't care that a girl cheats on you, bro? I've seen her in action, L.O.B., and I'm all the way in. All the way in. All the way in. You don't care that a girl cheats on you. As long as I don't know about it. If you're listening, babe. Hey, what are you doing your own time? No, it's your deal. As long as I don't know about it, Jamie. Have that. But I don't want to know about it. Wow. You said. I never said that. But Lindsay and I would be a bad combo. That's true. We would be a bad combo. We'd be bad. You have to choose between bad combo or cheated on. Cheated on.

2:10:07Paris is hotter than the sun. Oh, my God. She is just on fire. You're not in on Lindsay Lohan? I believe that Paris is better looking than Lindsay Lohan, but I think Lindsay's starting to get worn out. Yeah, she's haggard and freckly. You want to know what? What? You're going to fall in love with Paris Hilton. You're going to fall in love with her. Yeah, probably. You're going to fall in love with her. And you know what? She's going to rip your heart out. Yeah, it's okay. She's like a praying mantis. That's okay? Yeah. She's a praying mist. Because then you know what happens? Oh, that's Woodsy. He should date Paris Hilton. He's got something. Yeah. He's two steps ahead always. Yeah, exactly. That's unreal. Just a notch. All right, we're going to steer this ship in a different direction. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Oh, gosh. I love this game, by the way. Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, you monster. Or Roseanne Barr. My God. Don't play that, please. I said, please don't play that. Rosie O'Donnell. Right. Well, she likes girls. Does she? Well, let's pretend that she's on the market. She's on the market. Mike. Roseanne Barr. Great. You too. I have an explanation why. You could have said Janet Reno. Yeah. And Rosie O'Donnell. You know what? You could have said Mike Reno and Rosie O'Donnell. From Loverboy. From Loverboy.

2:11:46Rosie O'Donnell seems like such a beating. Oh, gosh. I couldn't be... If Rosie O'Donnell were straight, there is no way I could be in a relationship with her. She'd drive you back. We don't have even one thing in common. Like, I bet it comes at, like, I liked Gilligan's Island. She didn't. You know? Like, nothing in common. Jay? Roseanne Barr. Yeah. She's got the farm with all the stuff. All the nuts. Four-wheelers. Hawaii. Yeah. She admittedly went crazy, and now she's like, all right, I'm okay. I'm all right. I'm on my meds. She's cool. You could hang out with her for the day, and you'd probably laugh your ass off all day long. I think you just made me really love Roseanne Barr. Just riding four-wheelers around the nut farm laughing real good. Just with your arms around her waist. Take two trips. Our waists. They're big jokes. That's true. If you can find them. You guys. Oh, my gosh. Sorry, Roseanne. I've always liked it. No, I have more if you guys want to keep going. This one might be easier for Mikey than Woods and Jay. Is she Latina? Yeah. Miley Cyrus. Oh, boy. Or Pink.

2:13:11Miley in a heart beat. Really? In a heartbeat. Oh my gosh, okay. I'm sorry. Stinky pink. I thought that you guys were so out of Miley. Spitting. Cursing. Punching you in the face. Punching you in the face when she's drunk. Sweat rings on her wife beater. Dirty sheets. Yes. Cigarette buds all around in bed with you. Why are you smoking in bed? Dirty sheets. I thought you guys thought Miley was farty too. You would walk into the bedroom. And it would smell like a 13-year-old boy's room. It smells like farts. Ew. She's drinking a Budweiser first thing in the morning, brushing her teeth with it. But you have to be with Miley, who the whole time is like, oh, no, I'm so happy to be with you. Tell me what you're thinking. It'd be tough. It'd be tough. I mean, hey, listen, the whole point of this is it ain't easy to decide. It's the lesser, too. It's the lesser, too, but I can't do pink. No. I'll still take Roseanne over pink. Hey, did you lose my, teased my dirt bike? You're like, I didn't. I swear to God, I didn't. Really? Smack.

2:14:13Right in the grill. She snatched you. I knocked my tooth out. You're like, hey, pink. There's mud in the bathtub. There's mud in the bathtub. I don't even, it's freaking gross. That was mud wrestling. Leave me alone. Identical pink, by the way. Identical pink. I have more. All right. Oprah. Or Kathy Lee. Oh. I'm in my coffin. Think about what all of them have. Easy, easy, easy. I didn't even have to think for a millisecond. Kathy Lee. Oh, Oprah with her book of the month and her stuff, all of her wacky thoughts on everything. I think her thoughts are wacky. Everything is wacky. Everything is opposite and upside down of what I think and believe.

2:15:12Kathy Lee is not bad for a 50-year-old woman. She's always drunk. Yeah, she's always drunk. You know they drink on that show every day. Every day. Glug, glug, glug, glug. You could be with Oprah, and she'd never be there. You'd just be at her house. Getting all her free stuff. You've got to be in a relationship, which the spirit of that is you're going to hang out. You're going to be in a relationship. You're going to go to the movie. I'm anti-Oprah. I'm anti-Oprah, so I go Kathy Lee, too, even though she's haggard. Jay? I'm even kinder lesbian. Oh, that might sway. Kathleen, for sure. Is that it? I'll take one more if you got it. One more. All right. I want to choose the best one here. She likes my breasts. She likes my breasts. Yes, baby. What is this one's name? All right. Nancy Grace. Oh. Nancy Grace or Joan Rivers. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Easy. Yeah, easy. Nancy. What? Younger. Yeah. Yeah. You guys, Joan Rivers is hilarious. No, she's 92, though. Yes, she is. Hello, dear. Oh, Nancy Grace is such a beating. Oh, grow up. Oh, grow up, Mike. All right, I'll give you one more, then, since that was so easy. Elizabeth Hasselbeck or Heidi Montag? Hasselbeck, because I don't know who Montag is. I don't know who she is, bro. You pretend that you don't, but you do. I don't pretend. I don't know. You know who she is. Spencer and Heidi. Brown hair?

2:16:47Blonde hair. She's got blonde hair. I don't know who she is. She had fake boobs now. She had her eyes changed. Told you. The shape of them. Looks like a Barbie doll. I like Hasselbeck. She's pure and sweet. Yeah. She's a beating. I know. She's a beating. She's conservative. She's got that elliptical thing. I saw some dude riding down the street the other day on a bike that's an elliptical machine. Yeah. It's a bicycle, but it's elliptical. You stand on it. My buddy's an investor in that company. Is it for real? It's for real. I might have just changed my mind. That's Heidi Montag? Yeah. Why doesn't she put a cucumber in her pants? Why would she do that? Because that's the equivalent of a guy putting a cucumber in his pants. Well, look at that. I don't have any problem. Dude, that's so stupid. Look at that. Right? Look at that. There is. I got no problem. I wonder if she's had breast implants. Well, yeah, here's the point. Gee, I wonder. I just changed my mind. She's a pretty girl. I just changed my mind. That is so lame, bro. Is it? Yeah, it's so dorky looking. Yeah. Is it? No, it's totally natural. I can't even tell. Look at the fun bags on that horse hound. Yeah, look at here. You can hear them. Yeah, that's my face. I think I would rather be with Heidi Montauk than Elizabeth Haskell. She's so annoying. She opens her mouth. I don't know anything about Heidi Montauk, so I can't comment. She's a beating, too. But physically, you'd have her. No, you showed me that. It looks stupid. Beautiful face.

2:18:14The big fake cans, it's so dumb, dude. If they look real, fine. If breast augmentation looks real, fine. And you can't tell. But if you go like this, you go, I don't, I wonder, I'm not, that's a great boob job. But if you look at a girl and you're like, hey-oh. Hey-oh. Hey-oh. You inflate those to 36.5 pounds or what do you do? Yeah, really good. Me and Woods, I wish I could understand why you think that the dumb... I'm not out on it. ...fakey looking. Listen, if my wife did it, I probably wouldn't be happy. But I'm telling you what, I don't have a problem with it. If I see it, I'm in on it. This doesn't make you laugh. Like, it's so stupid. Hey, dude, listen. Dolly Parton had real boobs. Yes. Sexy. She did? Is it real? Yeah, of course, bro. I can't believe this. It's way before the days of even silicone.

2:19:28She was an anomaly. There's nothing ever before or after like her. It's a miracle. I think there probably was and is. Her waist is like a 16. She's this tiny little waist and giant boobs that are natural. A little miracle. Woods and I have talked about this ad nauseum. We've never been able to understand each other in terms of why doesn't that make you laugh? You lame-o. That's a boob guy. You know that. I know, but I guess I'm just like, I'm a normal looking boob guy. I'm not like, you know what I wonder? How come you don't think it looks like a chick that's had like cat eyes? I don't know what cat eyes are. Oh, gosh. You know when they've had the plastic surgery to the point where their eyes look like cats? Because I'm not an eye guy. I'm a boob guy. Boob guy. Yep. What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Yep, sure do. You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. Is today the day that Dr. Phil's got the Anthony's? I believe it is, my friend. Yes, and tomorrow as well. Dr. Phil. When you heard the defense in this case say that he was involved in not in causing the child's death, but in events that took place after that, did it ever occur to you?

2:21:05that he's hidden substantial things from me before? Could he have done it again? No, not when it came to his family as far as Casey and Kaylee. George would never have put us through those six months of not knowing where Kaylee was if he knew where Kaylee was. Because I watched his heart break every single day. And I watched him as frantic as he was. What do you mean? If he had a past of hiding things before, is it just the cheating and stuff like that? Yeah. Is he a cheater? Yeah. Yeah, he's a cheater. Maybe it was guilt. Okay, but why do you make an accidental death look like a homicide? Why? That's what was so stupid about that case. Why do you make an accidental death look like a homicide? Fear. Fear? You make it look like an abduction. And why do you make an accident? If you had a heart attack in here...

2:22:06The last thing I'm going to do is say to Jay and L.O.B., oh my gosh, you guys, we have to bury him. We have to bury him in a river. I don't know. You know what you do? You call freaking 911. Yeah. Yeah. It was the craziest defense I'd ever heard. It was so crazy. I was like, wow, this is over. Yeah. Especially from an ex-cop. Who knows that the recourse of going and doing a fake abduction and all that stuff would be so much worse. Of course. Than any sort of possible neglect that they would be able to be charged with. You call 911. Yeah. You find your granddaughter has drowned. You call 911. Nobody goes, my granddaughter drowned. I know. I'll stuff her in a bag and bury her in a pond. That's so stupid. Dude, it's like the prosecutor said. He's like, you've got to leave all your common sense. You've got to abandon every bit of common sense you have. I had to take a tweezer to my ears this morning. Join the club. I'm old, man. It's official. Oh, you want to know another reason I know I'm old? We have a girl that sings, that's going to sing on the Mikey Show. Her name is Geneva.

2:23:34She wrote me an email and referred to me as Mr. Esparza. How do you know you're old? 570-1949. What's happened recently? You go, oh, no. I am old. I used to be a young buck. 570-1949. How do you know? The Mikey Show. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More them, 94.9. This is the F. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Well, the two FM 94.9 Bon Iver shows are both sold out. But Saturday night, you can go see Reverend Horton Heat at 4th and B.

2:24:31Sunday, Switchfoot will play after the Padres-Diamondbacks game at Petco Park. Lady Tron's at House of Blues on the 23rd. The mother hips are at the belly up the same night. On the 24th, FM 94.9 presents TV on the radio with Arctic Monkeys at the Open Air Theater. On the 27th, see Bush at 4th and B. Portugal, the man hit House of Blues September 30th. And that same night, you can see Peter, Bjorn, and John at the belly up. And still to come, Blitz and Trapper with Dawes and about the music show at the Panthers. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Football season is finally here, and HalfPriceSanDiego.com has two great deals this week to the Beachwood in Pacific Beach and the Fleetwood downtown. The Beachwood's main level is home to the Chargers, while Red Saloon houses the world champion Green Bay Packers. With tons of big-screen TVs and the beach's largest HD projection screen, you won't miss a single game. Catch amazing ocean views while watching the game on the rooftop deck, now equipped with TV. Drink specials include $3 Coors Lights and Mimosas and $5 Bloody Marys. If you're downtown, the Fleetwood

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2:27:17Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 New Car Dealer Stock by Midnight 10-3-11. There's a coast-to-coast buzz about Ovation Cell Therapy. Friends are telling friends how Ovation has helped their hair grow thicker, stronger, longer, and faster, guaranteed. I've received more compliments on my hair during the past few weeks than I have in my entire life. My hair is softer, smoother, and healthier. I'm so happy with Ovation. I've personally recommended it to at least 30 of my friends. Ovation is the best product I've ever used. Stop the breakage caused from harsh chemicals and heat styling. Restore dry, brittle, and damaged hair to a softer, smoother, healthier, more beautiful appearance. Guaranteed. Simply log on to OvationHair.com and click on FM 94.9 at checkout to receive a special introductory discount. And when you log on to OvationHair.com, look for the new paraben, sulfate, and formaldehyde-free advanced ovation cell therapy system.

2:28:13Join the Ovation Nation now. Log on to OvationHair.com and remember to select FM 94.9 at checkout for your special introductory savings. OvationHair.com. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings. That's close, but you can really save a lot of money. You're going to need some savings. Better. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Let's take another call. Hey Flo, ever wonder if you offer too many discounts? Whatever. Homeowner, safe driver, snapshot, pay in full. Right now, we offer more discounts than ever. Doesn't that seem a bit excessive? Wait. Is this Bill and Tom from another insurance company? Hang up. Hang up. Busted.

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2:30:37Stacey finally took the steps she needed with the tax helpline. The first time I called, I got very emotional. They immediately put me at ease. Instantly, that day, I just had this huge brick lifted off of myself. The tax helpline is headed by a former IRS agent with over 30 years' experience. They can get rid of wage garnishments, liens, and levies. They can lift the burden of uncertainty like they did for Stacey. The best part is I'm getting money back. About $11,000. I cried out of excitement. I just couldn't believe it. it. The Tax Helpline has an excellent rating with the Better Business Bureau. Get help. Call 1-800-850-7184. I couldn't be happier with the Tax Helpline. 800-850-7184. 1-800-850-7184. Every mini is always offered iconic style, go-kart handling, and exhilarating performance. Now there's the Mini Countryman. It has all the things that makes a Mini a Mini and a little bit more. It's bigger, so there's more than enough space for your next big adventure. And it's also the first Mini with four doors. There's even available all-wheel drive. You even get three-year, 36,000-mile, no-cost maintenance included. The Mini Countryman. It's just a little bit more Mini to love. Learn more and arrange for a test drive at miniofsdcounty.com. Two of San Diego's favorites are back, football and Hondas.

2:31:56Honda production is at full speed, the cars are rolling in, and your Honda dealers of San Diego County are getting ready for a big fourth quarter. So if you've been waiting to drive a new Honda, your wait is over. All nine Honda dealers have a nice selection of models like Pilots, Accords, CRVs, and all new 2012 Civics. They've got plenty of cars and plenty of deals. To find a Honda dealer nearest you, visit SDHondaDealers.com today. It's good to be back. This report is brought to you by ExxonMobil. At ExxonMobil, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car runs cleaner. It's one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. Encinitas on the 5 southbound after Birmingham drive and injury accident. Three cars in the center divider. Bunch of debris all across the number one lane. 56 westbound between Rancho Penasquitos Boulevard. There's a couple cars in the center divider. And the 125 northbound before Lemon Avenue. An accident in the middle lanes. This report. Also brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. It does what no pill, no procedure can to keep you young. Play. Kaiser Permanente reminds you, make it part of your day. The truth is, the day you stop playing is the day you start aging. Learn more at kp.org slash thrive. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

2:33:24I'm going to open my beer right as we start. That was great. That was my Motley Crue for you. Remember, Woodsy, when you said that when you first heard Motley Crue, you're like, I don't know what it is, but I want it. Is that how you say it? I don't know what it is, but I don't know what that is, but I know I want it. So we're asking people, what has happened recently where you know you're old? I knew that I was old. When I started to find... Well, first of all, when my eyebrows started going Grover, and I looked in the mirror and my eyebrows were... It's like Yoda. Sticking straight out. Chris looked at me right now like, I don't know what that is, Mike. He doesn't. He's 22. He's like curb feelers. One of these days, you're going to wake up, Chris. Come here. Chris is 22 years of age. One of these days, you're going to wake up, Chris, and those...

2:35:19Perfect eyebrows you got right now. You're going to look in the mirror one day and there's going to be two of them on the right side that are sticking straight out. And you're going to go, uh-oh, what happened? I must have like slept on that weird. And so you'll take your fingers and you'll go bink and you'll pull them out, right? You pull them out. And then about a month later, there's three on the left side. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. This is a pattern. This is a pattern. Something's happening. Something's happening. And then you find that on the side of your ear, there's a hair that's growing out. And you go, oh, no, no, no, no. Come on. It's like an inch long. Yeah. Really? So you take a pair of tweezers and you go. That hurts. And then, you know the little round thing on your ear? The little round thing on your ear? On the inside of your ear, that little round piece of cartilage? There's a hair growing out of that. Hair can grow on that? Oh, it sure can. Not when you're 22, pal. Hair-za. Hair-za. Hair-za. I've got hair-za. Do you clip or pluck? What's the move? I shave them. You shave them? Well, I'll either do the razor or I'll do the... That thing when I shave my face, I'll just get in there and... The electric razor. Clean it up a bit? Tweeze them. That's a sadist. No, that's the best move. Adolf Hitler did that. You want to know a sadist move that I do? I mean, this is...

2:36:50I'll take the tweezers to the stray nose hairs. Oh, I'll take the fingers to the stray nose hairs and just... Instant tears. Instant tear. Oh, gosh, Woods, don't bouquet us. I just bouqueted you all. My nose is taking over, too. It's just like crazy hair. Serbian in my nose. You don't have one of those little deals. They're so strong, it breaks them. They're wiry. Your nose hair breaks the nose hair clippers? They just give up on me. Well, you got to change the battery, pal. What are you buying? It's brand new. I got really nice ones. No, I got really nice ones. You get it at Walgreens. Dollar store. He made his out of a corn husk. How about this, Chris? Right now, you meet a girl that's your age, and she calls you Chris. Right. One day, she'll call you Mr. Aukerman, and you'll go, Mr. Aukerman? That's my dad. Yep. I'm not Mr. Aukerman. Oh, somebody I just meet. Yeah, a young woman.

2:37:51We'll call you Mr. Ackerman. And you'll be like, no, no, no, that's my dad. You still call me Jay. Oh, my gosh. I just want to belt whip him. Mike, I can't help that I look young. And good. Good. Ripped. Foxy. Foxy. Sexy. When you're riding on a scooter, it's hard for anybody to call you anything but Sir or Mr. Esparza. That's true. Got scooters at the... Disneyland. Like Razor Scooters, the kind that you use of one foot to pump? You know what kind. You saw the picture. You know exactly what kind. You're just trying to rub it in. Right. You know what kind. You saw the video and the picture. There's video? Jamie posted video. I want to see the video. My wife Jamie posted video on the Mikey Show page last night. Thanks, babe. Ever just give up? Yeah, after nine hours. And we wanted to have some fun because it was fun. It was fun. It was fun as hell. And you know what?

2:38:58For a lot of people, there's a misconception about those scooters at Disneyland. It's not for handicapped people. There was a good-looking girl, right, Woods? Oh, dude. Remember when we came out of Space Mountain and there was a dime? Rebecca goes, oh, I heard. She probably had a broken leg or something. She didn't. She was just hot and having fun. I don't think so. No, I do. We were there. We were there, Jay. Rebecca goes, oh, I heard you guys talk about it. I go, what do you mean? Did you see that hottie over there, Woods? That's not how it was. And I go, I didn't say that. She probably had a torn ACL or something. She didn't. Yeah, she did. Did you talk to her? No. She was in shorts and a little t-shirt. Dude. And there was no cast. She was having a blast. That doesn't mean she can't walk. Yeah. She didn't have like a peg leg or anything. Yeah, dude. She was a normal chick. It was her and her friend, and they were goofing around. They were having fun. Been walking nine hours. We were having a good time. It was a blast. And anybody can get them. You just pay for them. Anybody can get them. So your wife's got them? They have a million of them. So your wife's got them? No, but my wife is used to walking around for, you know, hours and hours at a time. I'm not used to it. It's nine hours. My feet really hurt. How long did you guys use them? Like an hour and a half, yeah, at most. You rent them by the hour? No, you rent them all day. How much are they? Like $35. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, it wasn't bad. It was fun. It was worth $35. Sure. You might do it. Now, listen.

2:40:25Riding down Main Street at 8 o'clock at night, you better be damn good at driving this thing because there aren't brakes on it. The brake is letting go of the throttle and it stops. Dude, there are kids running in front of you. You're like, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God. I couldn't do it. I know this for a fact. You were not as comfortable as I was. I wasn't as comfortable as you were. I was a little more mortified. I wasn't mortified at all. It was nighttime. I knew nobody knew me. Yeah. And I was having a lot of fun. Until the one M1 and his wife and daughter, his daughter, they came up and said hi as we were sitting on our scooter. Yes. And that was embarrassing. That was embarrassing. And I'd forgotten about that until this moment. We had decided also, both of us, to take that ride off because neither of us could ride the teacups because we'd both vomit. So we were sitting on our scooters. Do you guys have to reach up to shake the little girl's hand from the scooter? Woods called them our hogs. Our hogs, yeah. I go, where should we park our hogs? We had a blast. We were riding around. We were banging into each other. I was doing 360s just in the middle of places. It was badass. I could see that. It was a blast, and I don't care. Well, Rebecca said, so is that going to be your thing now when we go to Disneyland? And I said, no. I said, the truth is, I said,

2:41:52I won't get that thing at the beginning of any Disneyland trip. But if I get to the end of a Disneyland trip and my feet really hurt, I'm not having... At that point, it just sucks. It just sucks. We got there, you guys, at 10 a.m. sharp. And we walked that SOB until 7.30, 8 o'clock at night. And I mean, we hoofed it, dude. Everywhere. We were constantly walking, constantly walking, constantly walking. Probably 10 miles. How did you do it? Oh, really? That's amazing. You try Iron Man. Yeah, Iron Man. No, we just, we did it, and we were laughing, and we were banging at each other, and doing, you know. You love that. Oh, boy. And racing, and honking our horns back and forth. And we were coup d'etat people. It was fun. Thinking of it as a ride for adults. It was. It was. It was rad. I could read the fact that Woods was not as comfortable as I was. I wasn't. And I wanted him to be... I was pretty comfortable, though. I got more comfortable. At first, I was riding down Main Street where there's a billion people. You're terrified. And a guy turned around and looked at me because I almost hit his kid. And I could see the look in his eye. And he was a Latino dude. Big, hard-ass, tatted guy. I could see the look. You don't need to be riding one of those. And I'm like, oh God, oh God. Hey, you didn't get here at 10, pal. You wanted to pay for it, pal.

2:43:18M1 Chewy from San Diego. How do you know when you're old? You don't know what he said. In English or Spanish? In English. Oh, man. Come on. Here, I'll give you music even. Go ahead. I didn't know you're getting old. Well, in the morning, wake up with morning wood, right? Sometimes. I used to. When I was young, when I was young, Mikey, with one finger. Hey, careful, pal. Easy. Careful, pal. Careful. Yes, sir. One finger, I push that sucker right down.

2:44:21Gone. And now I'm old. I use both hands and I can't get that sucker down. You mean it's the opposite? I can't. I can't push it down. One finger, boom, push it right down. Yeah, what's your problem? Sounds like a good problem. You should be rejoicing. It sounds like you're 13. It doesn't sound like you're getting old. Mine's the opposite. Never morning. No. Never. Never. Really? Never. Jake. Oh, he's going to drive me crazy. Really? I can't believe it. I mean, I'm like a 12-year-old. I got one right now. Trust me, it's no good. Wind just blew. Air conditioner turned on. You can't stop me from getting them. Someone said Kim's name. Oh, yeah. The other day, some guy was talking about rims. I thought he said Kim's. Never morning wood. Once a month, maybe. Really? Maybe. I'm like, hey, how you doing? That's it. I can't believe that goes away. I don't know. For F's sake. Sorry. Listen, I make love a lot, Woods. If you don't use it, you lose it. It's a medical condition. It's not medical. I don't have a problem doing it. It just doesn't happen in the morning anymore. Listen, Mikey, gosh. You're like 90 years old. Not just that. It's like you tear a couple buffaloes.

2:45:50It's like a buffalo wakes up in the morning and there's nothing there. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm literally sick. You're literally nauseating me. You made me sick. Don't say anymore. Kim, you ain't going to believe it. Don't say no more. I can't hear your voices or I'll throw up. Do you realize, Kim, that these two don't even get elections in the morning? It's unbelievable. I want to go home. Gross out. I'm sick, and I find out they don't get elections. I can't do nothing. Someone report them to the SEC. That's so gross. Disgusting. Neither Mackie nor Woods get an election, and they haven't gotten an election for years. Years and years. Hey, listen. I got an election now. I always get an election. It's my favorite time of year. Election. Guy's name is Wood. He can't even get an election. M1 Diet Cokehead from Kearney Mesa. How am I supposed to follow a lecture? Yeah, that's true. I get an election. Okay, I knew I was old when I was driving home from work and I was checking out this dude that was running and I realized that A, he was a member of the West Hills High School cross-country team and B, I was old enough to be his mother. Oh, man. I've done it.

2:47:14That old enough to be a parent thing? Oh, that gets me bad. Don't you get creepier as you get older? Or is that just me? It isn't just you. I am one month away from being 40, which I'm not really happy about. And I feel wrong that I dig Justin Bieber. And I don't dig him like that. You're not the only one. My 30-year-old wife, you know who she's into? Who? That vampire. Jacob. Oh, Edward. The brown one. Jacob, me too. He's a werewolf. The Mexican werewolf. He's a werewolf. I go, she goes, we're watching some movie trailer that he's going to do some action movie. Yeah, he's a sailor guy. And my wife leans over. She doesn't talk in movies ever. She leans over. She goes, I think he's going to be the next big astronaut. I go, do you? Can I just tell you something? I went and saw New Moon with my friend Angela. There's a part in New Moon where the first time you see him, he turns around. He's got this black T-shirt on. I swear to God, I ovulated. I ovulated. I ovulated. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. was just fanning herself. I love me. I told my wife, I go, he looks like he has mayonnaise breath. And she's like.

2:48:34She goes, you're so wrong. I go, babe, seriously. I go, that dude, Taylor Lautner, the Dracula, he looks. He's a werewolf. What's a werewolf? When he walks out of the bathroom, do not go in there. No, he is minty fresh. That's what my wife says, and I'm like, no, farty. He's like a baby. He's farty. If it was physically possible, he would give me an election. A female election. A female election. I believe that his breath is like either mayonnaise or peanut butter. Jealousness. Peanut butter is good, though. That dude's got a great body. I'll spread that on some bread. And if by bread, you mean yourself. Thank you. Thank you. We love you. Oh, gosh, darn it. She makes me laugh. M1 Jessica from San Diego. Hey, I just realized last night that I'm getting old. I'm only 32 years old. And last night I went to bed and my neighbors, they're young 20s. They're outside, you know, just.

2:49:48Listening to music and being all loud, and I never thought I'd be that one person, but apparently I was. I went downstairs and I said, do you know what time it is? Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. And it's like one day you're not that, the next day you're that. Just reminded me of me last week going to get the mail. I live on a street that's a cut through to two major streets. So it's like the Grand Prix. So I'm getting my mail, and this guy is just... And I go, slow the F down. I'm that guy now. I'm the slow down in my neighborhood guy. Welcome to that. And I used to be like, F you, pal. Driving down the street. Right. You don't own the road. I'm that guy now. Thank you. I'm that guy swinging bats at cars. Friend of mine in high school, I did not like smoking marijuana. It made me paranoid. It made me weird. I did not like it. But my friend liked it. We drove to Aptos, which is a city by Gilroy where I grew up. My uncle lived there on this big hill. So we drove onto his driveway and we smoked a joint. Okay? And I think he knew because after that, he treated me differently. And I saw a kid parked on the side of the road in my neighborhood smoking a joint. And I was so furious. And I did it.

2:51:18I did it. And when I did it, I thought it was fun. I was having a blast. Blah, blah, blah. What's the big deal? I hadn't cursed in a long, long time. I ain't told you this story, right? He's smoking weed and doing stuff with his girlfriend. Yes. Yeah, he was. Yeah. And I pulled up behind him and I started honking. And he goes, what the F? And a spring that held me together. inside my brain, it held my marbles in. There was one spring that held all the marbles in. When he said that, the spring broke and I lost all my marbles. And your favorite Christian friend lost it. And I mean lost it. Over it, kid.

2:52:28smoking dope and, you know, and I was like, A, I'm ashamed of my language, but B, I was like, dude, how old is you? Seriously. Like, I'm only 41. 10 years ago, you drive by and go, oh, look at that guy's getting a little action. Yeah. And just park and go into your home. I just probably wouldn't even care. I wouldn't even care. I wouldn't even think twice. I would have circled the block and made another drive-by. You know what I mean? Right. And now I'm like, get the. Get out of here. I was like furious. Get out of here. I'm old. Old. Oh, I don't want a break. I want people to call with more because we got all lines lit up. 570-1949. Call us with how you know you're old. We got some good ones on the line and we want to hear from you. 570-1949. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now.

2:53:41More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is Dan Tullis, and I just called. Joel. One of Select Quote Insurance Services' term life agents. Hi, Mr. Joel. How does Select Quote save you money on term life insurance? Me an example? Sure. Call 1-800-300-5148 and see how affordable term life insurance can be. That's 1-800-300-5148. 1-800-300-5148. Or go to selectquote.com. We shop, you save. Get full details on the example policy at selectquote.com slash commercials. Your price could vary depending on your health, issuing company, and other factors. Not available in all states. Hey, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy, and your old pal. L-O-B. That's right. We are here to tell you. We're like a team now because.

2:54:52Both of us went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I went first about a year ago and was something I was really nervous about. LOB can be a nervous purpose about stuff. Yeah, it took me a long time to research. I was looking at all different doctors all around San Diego. And then I took the plunge with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman because I felt safe. I felt like she had a ton of clients out there that were really happy. Tony Hawk's a client. Yeah, Tony Hawk. Woods of Woods on Sports. From the Mikey Show? Of the Tipsy Crows. Yes, yes, also. Woods of the Tipsy Crows. Yeah, so it has changed. I know it's changed my life for the better. I can see the baseball on my semi-professional baseball team now, whereas before I had dirty contacts. LLB was a chronic contact wearer, dirty glasses. Yeah, I can see my alarm clock in the morning. I can see my face in the mirror that says one place to start. You know what else is cool? Being able to just put on sunglasses. Yeah, exactly. Putting on sunglasses is rad that you don't have to have contacts in. So anyway.

2:55:49Do what LOB and I did. Give them a call today, 858-452-3937, or go online to www.clearvieweyes.com. Tell them that Woodsy and LOB sent you, and they'll give you a free consultation to make sure you're a good candidate. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Good morning. Welcome to McDonald's. First good thing I've heard all day. But it's only 7.30 a.m. I know, and I already whacked my head, broke my phone, and got a parking ticket, so I'm going to need to order quite a few things. That should make you feel better, sir. All right, how about an order of sausage? Oh, and an order of bacon, scrambled eggs, three hotcakes, well, hash browns for sure. Um, sir? Oh, I'm not done. But all of that is on the deluxe breakfast platter, and it's now just $3.99. Seriously? Set your mornings right with McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast Platter. Golden hotcakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, sausage, an English muffin, and more. All for just $3.99. The simple joy of every flavor of breakfast. Sorry you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

2:56:48Technically, I fell out of bed and the window. Breakfast served during breakfast hours only. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults and a kid's price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. Join me this Sunday at U31 in North Park starting at noon. The charges against New England. Boo. Kickoff is at 115. There are 20 big screen TVs with all the games, food and drink specials all day. You're going to have to try one of their award-winning burgers because you know I'm going to. U31 Bar and Grill is the place to watch football this season. U31bar.com. You've been a good person, coached your daughter's soccer team, pulled all-nighters at the office, planted trees in the neighborhood open space. So who exactly is going to reward all your sacrifices? Uh, that would be you. Right now through October 31st, at the Lexus Certified Pre-Owned Season to Change Sales Event, you'll get 1.9% APR on every vehicle. And everyone undergoes a 161-point inspection, is factory-backed, and comes with a three-year, 100,000 total vehicle mile warranty, roadside assistance, and complimentary loaner car. But hurry, because you're not the only one out there who deserves a reward. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego.

2:58:1748 monthly payments of $21.65 per thousand financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details on the limited number of customers who qualify. No down payment required if qualified. Warranty is three years from your date of purchase or 100,000 total vehicle miles for outside assistance coverage only available in continental U.S. See your certified pre-owned Lexus dealer for details. Offer ends October 31, 2011. The Padres schedule is winding down, but the baseball season continues with exciting playoff action. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show is your source for expanded pennant race coverage and the best chargers report. And of course, we've set up camp at Montezuma Mesa for exciting Aztecs action all season long. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 beginning in October on Channel 4 San Diego. Baseball action continues exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego as the Padres continue their series with the Giants, 7 p.m. Tuesday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres' uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show.

2:59:28But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m. only on Channel 4 San Diego. What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans, 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide, and exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd. Open an account today at missionfed.com or stop by any of our 22 local branches. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. Loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is an equal housing lender and is federally insured by the NCUA.

3:00:34This report is brought to you by Burger King at Burger King Tri-Delicious Croissant, which paired with Seattle's best coffee, enjoy a flaky croissant, perfectly cooked eggs, American cheese, and your choice of sausage, bacon, or ham at participating restaurants. On the 56 westbound between Rancho Penasquitos Boulevard, a couple cars in the center divider. The 56 westbound between the 15 and the 5 is pretty slow, and as you travel on the 15 northbound between the 8 and the 163, you do have some backup. Brought to you by REMAX. Talk to a REMAX agent today. Discuss your options. REMAX. Outstanding agents. Outstanding results. Find an agent at REMAX.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Heard running backs in fantasy football. I thought you were a Christian. Really? LeGarrette Blount. He's going to be big. He had two yards this weekend. He had 15 yards, and they said he was underutilized. You monster. Look. He's a skunk, bro. He's terrible. How about Tim Hightower? Any interest there? The guy had a huge day. Who do you want? I need a freaking receiver. You know who my receivers are? Who? Ocho.

3:02:15Freaking Cinco. He'll work out, dude. They underutilized him. God, he's a putt. They underutilized him. He'll do something. Will he? He'll probably do a TV show. He'll probably wrestle an alligator. He'll tame a cobra. Yeah, Des with a star. Okay, Tom Brady last night throws for what? 517 yards? Yeah. What is the Ocho? He has one catch. He had one catch? I think one catch. I wonder if he'll catch on. They said he's not understanding the playbook. Yeah, he didn't get the offense. But, dude, make a study, you dumb woods. Think about it, though, dude. He's been with the same team for a billion years. Bro, last night I'm watching Aaron Hernandez, who's a backup tight end, run up and down the field making catch after catch after catch. I'm like, he can do it, but Ocho Cinco, one of the most talented dudes in the NFL. You can't catch up. Okay, you're a receiver, right? Yeah. You know what your options are? Curl, seam, fly, hook. No. Come on. Bro, come on. Those things, those playbooks, they're as thick as a phone book. I get it. I get it. But how long has the guy had? How long has he been a patriot? It's not like he just got there. I don't know how they do it in the first place. Do your homework. I don't know how they do it. He'll shape up. He'll have to. I got to get a receiver. I lost my 40 points. M1, Surf Daddy from Cardiff. What was the word of the day?

3:03:35That's right, dude. You're going to see Switchfoot at the Padres game. We're giving you tickets to Sunday's game and Switchfoot plays afterwards. Congratulations. I love it. Yeah. There you go. There you go. Hang on the line. We're asking people how they knew, how they know they're old. We're getting great stuff on our Facebook page. Facebook.com slash Mikey show. M1 David said my buddy and I were hanging out at a bar. I see this chick and I think to myself, she's pretty hot for an older chick. Come to find out she was two years younger than me. Oh, my gosh. How about when your hair turns gray? Yeah. I'm not talking about on your head. Jay. Well, I've seen it and he's accurate. It's accurate. I've seen his. It's accurate. Cray? Salt and pepper. Salt and pepper. Salt and pepper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Salt and pepper. You remember Blake Carrington from Dynasty? What you'd imagine his look like. Oh, gosh. Like B. Arthur's head down there. Yeah. He's got B. Arthur in a headlock. With more hair. And a leglock. And a leglock. And a chokehold. B. Arthur was more masculine, though. Yes. M1. B. Arthur had a bigger wiener, actually. M1 Lynn, who's on the 5 South. Hello. Hello. Hello.

3:05:01I've become a Sunday driver. I've always been an aggressive driver from the East Coast, and now I can't get out of the slow lane. Scared to death. Hands at 10 and 2 real good. Radio down. Scared to death. It's ridiculous. It's overreacting to everything. It's like a traumatic stress disorder. Have you been in a wreck? No. You're old. You're just losing your mind. Yeah, you just figured it out. Everything's scary. The people go by me, and sometimes I flip them off. Still got the East Coast in you, then. Totally. Hey, BeDifferentPAC.org, all right? Thank you for the call. All right, thanks. Bye. Let's see. M1 James from South Park. Hey, boy, good morning. Good morning. Last night, my wife and I, we're at our son's middle school, back-to-school night, you know, where they're in the NPR, and the principal is up there talking to the crowd. And he was talking about when he was in middle school. He says, when I was in middle school, my idol was Michael Jordan. I wanted to be Michael Jordan. And I turned to my wife and I said, when Michael Jordan and the Bulls were hot, we were already married. Oh, yeah. Dude, when Michael Jordan and the Bulls were hot, I was five years into my radio career. I mean, when this guy was asking his dad for a pair of Eric Jordans, I was asking my dad for investment advice. Oh, my gosh. The principal. The principal.

3:06:29younger than I am. You know, I mean, the teachers have always been younger. They're kids. They're out of the college. But a principal is that much younger. So it was a wake-up. Hey, man. I'll see guys, they got their three kids around them and stuff, and they're like, Mikey, dude, I used to listen to you in high school. And their three kids are running around. I'm like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. You're thinking of a different Mikey, man. Yeah. I'm 20. I'm 20 years old. I've got my 20-year reunion coming up year after next. 20 years out of high school. You don't find a bigger high schooler than your boy right here. I'm a freak. I still am. Steve Woods from high school. Grapevine Mustang, dude. That's me. My 20-year reunion was four years ago. Jay's was 17 years ago. 1,700. Yes. When was your 20th? What are you coming up on? My 30th. You're coming up on the 30th? Wow. Next year. My dad is going to his 50th high school reunion. There'll be seven dudes there. Yeah. How you doing, man? Good to see you. Good to see you. Yeah. You made it. You made it. I have so much to say about what kids are wearing, and I know that that makes... I'll be like...

3:07:44Look at these baggy pants, these skinny jeans. Pull your pants up. Do you think that about the girls? Oh, yeah. You girls are dressed like boys. And I say it to my boyfriend, who I know is like, yeah, it's a shame. It's a shame, isn't it? Like, look at them. They're running in sports bras and these tiny little shorts. And he's like, I know. It's appalling. It's appalling. Yeah. It's embarrassing, yeah. It's embarrassing. Like, I want to feel. Like a young lion that... Yeah. Just jumping on those female lions. We can't hunt anymore, though. Well, we got these scars all over us from battle. Yeah. We're not allowed to hunt anymore. Yeah, our mane is... It's brittle. You can hunt. You just can't kill. I like to hunt. I just don't like to kill. But they never hunted lionesses, so you guys can still hunt. Well, we can't hunt. I'm not allowed to hunt. No.

3:08:46You can't be on the prowl for the lionesses anymore. See, a lion, what a lion does, lion doesn't do the food gathering. That's actually the female lion. But what he does do is he mates. Yes. Okay? Slays. He slays. That's what the male lion does. He walks up to anyone that he wants and just starts going. No, no, no. What he does, L-O-B, what he does is very important. What he does, he squares off against the other lions. Ah. And he kicks their butt. I gotcha. That's why he's got the scars on him. And then he gets the girls. As many as he wants. That's SOB. But then what happens is that lion gets older. Yep. And pretty soon, there's a younger lion. Yeah. And you know what? The lionesses, they don't even want the older dude anymore. The guy's old. He's washed up. He can't protect us. He can't protect us. The guy's old and haggard. Yeah. So the dude walks around with his brittle mane. He's missing a tooth. So are you telling me that our wives are going to leave us for somebody younger and better looking? Jacob, the werewolf. Yeah, Jacob Dracula. Like, your mane is getting a little brittle. My mane is getting a little brittle. Bring in the cubs. That's right, Mr. Woods and Mr. Esparza. My teeth are getting a little brittle, pal. Sorry, guys. I don't know what it's like. I don't know what you're talking about.

3:10:03I could have an 18-year-old nine if I wanted to. Well, they hit on me all the time. I can't do it. I have to tell them, listen, I'm married. I'm taken. I protect my lioness. That's right. You're younger than three of my kids. Okay? I know you don't realize that. Hey, me. Don't get me wrong. I like to look at you. Shoot, I'd like to touch you, but... Well, let me just... I'll just touch you once. Just for a second. Come here. Just for a sec. See how it feels. Hang on a second. Just your elbow. Don't get so uptight. Fine. I used the back of my hand across your forehead. It ain't no big deal, all right? Let me just tickle your ankle. No one will kill you. Hey, it's weird. Let me smell your feet. Shut up. Give me a sock. It's fine. I'll take it home with you. I smell in your ear. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. I smell in your ear. If your ear got in the way of a nose. All right. Nobody can hear me right now. Touching is always.

3:11:15Dude, put my blindfold on me. I don't need to look. I don't need to look. Cut my eyes out. Just keep my hands. I just want to touch. Gouge them out. Let me have my touch. Let me touch. All I can do the rest of my life will be touch. Funny. Here's what I sound like when I'm dreaming. Mikey Woods. Eating, eating, eating, eating, eating, eating. Lazy, lazy, lazy, eating, eating, eating. Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy. Riding a cart. Easy, easy. What's mine? Do mine, Jay. Black guys, black guys, black guys, black guys, black guys, half kids, half kids, half kids, black guys, black guys, black guys. Butts big. What is it? Butts big. I thought he said busby. I was like, that's not an insult. Jay. Yes, sir. Is sick as a dog. In here touching stuff. Hey, I hope you guys didn't touch that guy. No, don't touch that dude. Got some dudes in here right now. Throw it elbow up. You did? Did this one. Hey, how you doing? He claims it's because of his.

3:12:30eight-year-old who goes to school and brings home germs. It's not, Jay. It is. Maybe it's because you're swimming in poop-infested water. Yeah. Maybe. More likely. Well, look, man. There's a story out about the water here in San Diego. It's like killing fish because of the Mexican sewage that's gone into the ocean. Mikey. Not Mexican-Americans. From Mexico, I'm talking. You know, I mean, it's the L.O.B. said the other day she thought that the ocean water actually stunk. Yeah. I said, oh, that wave smelled. Oh, it's so gross. It's a song dedicated to our good friend J.R. Isbell about the disgusting ocean water because of the Mexican sewage that keeps getting spilled into it. That's why he's sick. Yeah. He's swimming in the poopy water.

3:14:24Is red tide here or no? According to Jay, it is. That's a personal question to ask a woman, Mike, and I don't think that's very appropriate that you ask. It's a crimson tide. I don't think that you ask that. Photoplankton gets into the ocean water. Wow. And at nighttime, when you stir it up, it becomes green. Phosphorescence. Phosphorescence. Wow. That's what it was doing. Yeah. But it makes the water look red like blood. It's gross. It's gross. It's hideous. Sometimes it stinks. Is it back? Oh, yeah. It's at the end now. I think it's done. It's so filthy. So is it safe to surf the waters, Jay? Safe to surf. You sure? If I say it's safe to surf. If he says it's safe to surf, it's safe to surf. If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, it's safe to surf this beach. Hey, stop screaming. I will go surfing then. Get out of your helicopter. Hey, Woodsy's gotten me into this Aruba case, man, because Woodsy's been following the Aruba case. Now, we're not talking about Halloway. We're talking about this... Another blonde. Robin Gardner. Foxy. Yeah, she is. Now, I'll tell you what I think is going on, Woodsy. You correct me. Okay. She's married. No. No? Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Okay. Boyfriend. She's got a boyfriend. And goes to Aruba with another guy who she tells her boyfriend is gay. Is that true? No. Okay, I'm thinking of something else.

3:15:49Tell me what happened then. She met. Now, she didn't think he was gay. She didn't tell her boyfriend that he was gay. So her boyfriend would say, oh, go ahead. That's what we had all originally thought. Yeah. Then it comes out that she met him on a really creepy website. OK. I don't want to say the name of it, but it's a creepy website known for, hey, let's get together and slay. OK. Apparently, she'd known this guy for a couple of years. They'd had a little, you know, here and there on the Internet. So she's got this really sharp guy. boyfriend, Richard Forster is his name. And her name is Robin Gardner. And she goes to Aruba with this guy, Gary Giordano. Okay. Okay. So Gary Giordano is older. He's in his fifties. He's kind of a shyster. You know, and she met him on a creep. She met him on a creep website a couple of years before they had maybe had some dalliances here and there. However, it was decided, Hey, we're going to take a trip together. And she's like, I'm kind of having problems with Richard. So I got to get out of here now. She sends Richard Forster, her boyfriend, a text from Aruba. Baby, I'm sorry. I want to work this out with you. Let's talk when I get back. Well, why did she tell him about going to Aruba? I'm going to Aruba. You're not my husband. I'm going to Aruba. Sorry. She doesn't stay with who? Uh-uh. Then he finds out, finds out who she's there with, and, you know, obviously flips out, and he's like, I love you. Come home. Why are you doing this? Baby, I'm sorry. We'll work it out when I get back.

3:17:15This creep, Gary Giordano. There is surveillance video of these two fighting viciously. Really? Okay. Viciously in front of a rental car, I guess. Then she disappears. He says, we went snorkeling and she disappeared. Now, 30 minutes before or an hour before they were, finger quote, snorkeling, they were having dinner at like a five-star restaurant. She was done up to the nines, man, looking. Beautiful. Long dress, high heels, blonde hair all fixed up. She wasn't about to go snorkeling, okay? Oh, so you're saying that you don't believe the two of them went snorkeling? If she went in the water, in my opinion, she went in the water after she was deceased. Really? Absolutely. So last surveillance on her is restaurant, nice, dressed up. I mean, gorgeous. Just looking, yeah, perfect. By him. Same thing? Dressed up? No, he's in jeans and a Tommy Bahama shirt. Sorry, Mike. Well, no offense taken. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Well, you don't not wear Tommy Bahama, but that's beside the point. Let's stay on the topic of the missing woman. Now, so then, about 30 minutes to an hour after they leave this restaurant, this guy that shows him on camera walk back into the restaurant. Hey, did Robin come back in here? I'm missing her. We were snorkeling. She's gone. Now.

3:18:40Okay. It's all very feasible. Strolling in. Strolling in. Not, I need your help. Somebody help me. Nothing. Walking in. Well, I mean, I'm asking myself, would I be like. Yes, you would. I don't know that I would. Rebecca goes under when you're snorkeling. Well, first of all, it ain't his wife. Okay. It's his creep website girl. Okay. Still. Okay. This will get you. Yeah. Gary Giordano. talked her into taking out a travel insurance policy with him as the beneficiary for one and a half million dollars about a week before their trip. That's not good. That is not good. He is in a Reuben. Why would anybody like so moronic? Let's say that I'm that that I meet you L.O.B. on a creep website. Aren't you going to be a little weirded out when I go, hey, before we take our trip? Why don't we take a life insurance policy, a travel insurance policy out on, was it the both of them? He was the beneficiary. It was out on her. I wonder if he convinced, like, I'll do one for me and you can be my beneficiary. It's just better that way. Because I know when I traveled abroad, they tried to get me to get a travel insurance policy. In case something happens to you, it's supposed to be looking out for your family. Yeah. Well, this guy.

3:20:00owes a lot of money to a lot of people. He's a shyster. He was one of those get-rich-quick guys. He always had some scheme. And, dude, I'm telling you, I have been reading this guy, this guy Richard Forster, every night posts on Facebook, baby, I'm coming to find you. I'm going to bring you home safe. Trust me. I'm coming to get you. I love you, Robin. I'm so sorry. Dude, it rips my heart out every night, and I'm reading this going, Oh, my God. I can't believe this happened. But you believe he's guilty. This Giordano guy? Yeah, absolutely. Giordano. He's sitting in Aruba jail right now. Wow. Sitting there. And his attorney is trying to get him out. I mean, it is. What's up with Aruba? It's fascinating. I'm not going there. No. Blonde women, stay out of Aruba. Stay out of Aruba. Well, Adam just came back. He said the town is super secure. It's just the people that are going there like boyfriends and girlfriends. Why do they feel that they can get away with it there? I don't know. I mean, look at, what's his nuts that we all can't stand? Holloway guy. Jordan. Vanderslut. Vanderslut. Oh. It's fascinating, though. You sure about that insurance thing? I'm positive, yeah. Dive in, brother. It's weird. Dive in. You won't come up, dude. That's a bad pun. I'm sorry. That's a bad pun. I did not mean that in that way. I didn't mean that. No, I know you didn't. But just jump in with both feet. Also bad choice of words. Damn it.

3:21:30What is this? Meals on a budget. What do you do to make your money stretch? I don't remember this one. What is this? I talked about in college, I would eat cans of corn and just use different sauce on them every night. I used to eat ravioli and plastic wrapped ham. All at once? It's really stretching your meal. Did you heat them up? Yeah. Ham too. Yeah, it was cheap. I don't know what kind of ham you're referring to. Was it like Oscar Mayer? No, it was like a chunk of it and they'd sell it in plastic. Was it good? If you fried it. Sounds pretty good. It was cheap. By you, Jay. I steal. He steals. Yeah, Jay goes to radio stations and gets a to-go bag. No, we always did the, we would just get the ramen, like the whole big thing of ramen noodles and eat that continuously. Ramen's a big player.

3:22:33What about when you were a kid, Jay? I would go steal from my parents' pantry. I'd go to see them and I'd load up on canned goods from their house. Done that for my parents. I'd steal an egg from my brother. I was starving. One single egg? Yeah. One egg. And what, did you fry it real quick? I was hungry. He wouldn't let you have anything? No. Took it home and scrambled it. I was hungry. I had no food. Yeah. I stole from dudes across the hall from me in college. Yeah. I would take the ramen and an Easy Mac from parties sometimes and slip them into my purse. Holy cow. Holy cow. All you need is hot water. Sometimes you got to be a thief to survive. Yeah. You're just trying to survive. They look like a frat house. They'd been to Costco. Maybe the parents had been in town. I had nothing. I was out of my meal plan. Just shove it in my purse. They had a deal at the college I went to. And you know the meal plan. Mike, I'll explain it. You have a card. Yeah. And so you could go to the cafeteria and swipe your card and get food. Or they had a little kiosk downstairs right by my house. Right. And they had healthy choice like dinners and Ben and Jerry's ice cream and soda. You could put as much money on your card as you wanted to and they would bill your parents later. I would put like $500. I got a phone call from my dad one time. He's like, what?

3:23:56What the F are you eating? $2,000 a month. Dude, I'd be like, shoot, I'm broke. I'm going to put $250 on there and just feast on Healthy Choice and Ben and Jerry's. Really? See, ours was like a debit account that ran out, and I never rationed it well. I remember being so poor that I applied for a Chevron card, and it came in the mail. Oh, yeah. And I went to the mini market at Chevron. And it was like, oh, I get to eat. Sandwiches. Chips. Fig Newtons. Fig Newtons. Grandma's cookies. Exactly. This is coming up. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hey, it's Mikey for AIS. Summer's over, and that means it's back to school time. That means more drivers in the road. You got more traffic and buses and stuff like that. Or maybe you're getting a new car. Maybe you're a student driver. You're going to school. For all those reasons, you need to call AIS. They'll make sure that you have good coverage and that you're not overpaying. Now, you're asking yourself, how do they do it? They shop dozens of insurance companies to find the best rates for you. Plus, they've got great discounts for you. They've got good driver discounts up to 20% off. They've got multiple policy discounts up to 15% off.

3:25:25All of this stuff equals the fact that the average person is saving $500 a year on their auto insurance when switching to AIS. So there's no reason to keep putting it off. Over 400,000 drivers rely on AIS for their auto insurance. Find out why. Call the auto insurance specialists today. 1-800-777-4AIS or go to AISinsurance.com. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for one of my favorite places in the world, Denny's. It's right here. It's right on the corner. I love it. And you know what? They're bringing us a special treat next Tuesday. So we're going to really be able to report about all this menu that they're doing right now. It's called Let's Get Cheesy. And basically what they're doing, they're adding cheese to stuff that's already good. So it's like the bacon thing, man. Bacon makes everything taste better. So does cheese. Try the new Cheese Please omelet. It's a three-egg omelet with a blend of cheeses folded right in there, topped with creamy cheese sauce, diced tomatoes. Sounds amazing. They're going to be bringing us some country fried steak. It's the big cheese country fried steak and eggs. It's got a chicken fried steak. It's got pepper jack cheese sauce, hash browns, topped with melted shredded cheese. I cannot wait.

3:26:38to try all of this stuff from Denny's. It's a new menu. It's called Let's Get Cheesy. It's available all day, every day for a limited time only. And dishes starting at only $4.99. Get to Denny's. I want to be a pilot. Is it tough? It's not easy. You could do it. Study hard. Go to a good school. Never skip your math homework. Piece of cake. Oh, yeah? But can you finish those carrots for your pilot's vision? I'd rather do my math homework. Thought so. There's a moment when an activity becomes an accomplishment, and when that moment comes for your child, you want to be ready. The Scholarshare Plan, California's official 529 plan, can help your kids reach their potential. It's a careful, consistently maintained college savings program, and your earnings are federal and California state income tax-free when used for qualified higher education expenses. For more information, visit Scholarshare.com or call 800-544-5248. To learn more about the Scholarshare College Savings Plan and its investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses, please contact Fidelity for a fact kit. Read it carefully. The Scholarshare College Savings Plan is offered by the Scholarshare. investment board an agency of the state of california and managed by fidelity investments if you or the beneficiary are not california residents check with your home state to learn if it offers tax or other benefits for investing in his 529 plan units of the portfolios are municipal securities and may be subject to market volatility and fluctuation fidelity brokerage services member nyse sipc plastic bags get airborne if not thrown away you've seen them floating in the air they blow to storm drains and then out to the ocean and there they can kill thousands of animals so do your part to stop it and join the california coastal cleanup day

3:28:02this Saturday from 9 to noon. Volunteers are needed at 85 different sites around San Diego. Bring your buckets, work gloves, and reusable water bottles with you. To find a cleanup spot near you, go to cleanupday.org. Chevron Extra Miles' great selection of energy drinks allows me to stay on top of my game. They've got Van Hoot Coffee, Energy Shots, and Rockstar and Red Bull. Hey, you can hear those guys too, right? Power up at Chevron Extra Mile. Grab any two works, five-hour energy, or redline energy shots for just $4.99. One at regular price, now through October 31st. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value. At select Chevron locations. September still means summer in Southern California. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties. And nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot. Or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita. An experience that tastes so smooth, it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Top of my 2011. Imported and bottled by Two Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under licensed from the trademark of Jose Cuervo Especial. It's a registered trademark of Tequila Cuervo La Reina. Hey there, Padres fans. This is Tim Foreman from Switchfoot. Come see us play here in our hometown of San Diego at Petco Park following the Padres game Sunday, September 18th.

3:29:29Catch your Padres as they take on the Arizona Diamondbacks Sunday, September 18th at 105. And stay for a post-game concert featuring San Diego's own Switchfoot. The concert is free after the game with a paid ticket. Don't wait. Get your tickets today at Padres.com slash Switchfoot. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's talk to Ronnie on line one. Jay Box, I'm about to drop some knowledge on your listeners. Drop away. All right, check this out. I drop a monster truck limo. Want to know why? Because that's your job? Nah, bro, because I go big or I go home. Boom! That's how I roll. Okay. Yeah, I got a 99-inch flat screen mounted on top of my shock aquarium. Know why? Because I go big or I go home. Yeah, well, I've got the perfect thing for you. My new jumbo breakfast platter. It's huge. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, eight mini pancakes, and your choice of bacon or sausage, all for just $2.99 plus tax. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get ten of those breakfast platters. Know why? Because Ronnie doesn't want to go home. True that. Because Ronnie lives with his parents. Yeah. Try Jack's new jumbo breakfast platter. It's scrambled eggs, hash browns, mini pancakes, plus bacon or sausage, all for just $2.99 plus tax. Price and participation may vary. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets.

3:30:56No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. Jake, he lied last night. No. Yeah. No. He lied about eating. His mom asked him, how many bites have you had? And he said, I think seven. Because he's got to have ten. He didn't have any. Nita said maybe one. He doesn't like food. He can't eat food. He doesn't like food. Well, he's got to eat though. Dude, I wanted to bring this up. We were at Disneyland and Jake is Mike's autistic son who's a little angel. And we were about to sit down to lunch and he looked at his mom, Rebecca, and goes, can I sit where I don't have to look at you? And it didn't trigger in my head. I was like, oh, wow, that's weird. And he's just being funny and like he wants to play with a toy or something. But he genuinely can't watch people eat.

3:32:23Food aversion. He was driving me nuts yesterday because he had the sillies and he was jumping around and he just wanted to jump and jump all over me and stuff. And I felt bad about it this morning. I thought, I should have let him and I should have embraced it. Today I will because I'm sure he'll do it again. But Rebecca had made some spaghetti for dinner and I had some and he wouldn't stop. I was like, Bob, please settle down, settle down. And I finally, I came up, I had some spaghetti and he jumped up on the bed and I just... Tilted that spaghetti a little bit. And he was done. No more sillies. Solved it real easy. Holy crap. Walk a mile, pal. Yeah, walk a mile. You don't know what it's like, Jay. You have no idea. Unless you got an autistic kid, don't give me...

3:33:13Oh, you monster, please. I was at Mike's one day, and I had one tortilla chip, and I put it in my mouth, and I was chewing it, and I picked him up at the same time, and I was holding him over my head, and he looked at the tortilla chip. He almost threw up in my mouth. He literally goes, and I go, oh, boy, and I put him down. I love that kid so much. I want him. I want to see him one day sit down and just feast on a burger, dude. Me too. More than anything. Oh, we want him to eat. But anyway, he didn't eat. You know, he wasn't eating the, he wasn't, well, first of all, he lied. Gosh darn. Okay, and that was the biggest spanking I ever got, was lying. So, his mom told him, well, now you have to eat it all. Because you lied. And he was mad. He didn't want to eat it all. He wasn't mad like losing it. He was just, you could tell he's mad. I said, you have a choice. Because now he knows what a spanking is. I said, you have a choice. I said, you can either eat all of that or a spanking. And he said, I'll eat it. And he ate it all. The spanking must have worked. Oh, the spanking worked real good. I thought he was going to take the spanking. I've only given him two spankings now in his life. And the first one wasn't that bad.

3:34:38The second one left a sting on his butt. Yeah. And it hurt. It hurt you more. It hurt me so bad. On your hand? Yeah, I had calluses. I had spanking calluses. I had to go see a chiropractor. I said, look, my spanking hand is sprained. Whoa, easy. Yeah, when we had... Holy smokes. It's a family show. Holy smokes. Is it? the casino, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Paula Casino. Go ahead, hit that sound effect again. Welcome to the casino, everyone. Make sure you hit the slots. They're lucky tonight. Hit me. Damn it. I ruined it for you. No, that was it. That was it. That was the whole story. The whole story is he had a choice between spanking or eating that stuff. He ate it.

3:35:42I want it for that kid so bad. I want to watch that kid feast and go back for seconds. Because now he's eating peanut butter sandwiches. And he eats it like it's a job. He don't want to eat it. I was watching him eat graham crackers the other day and he didn't want to eat them. He's averse to food, man. And it's just heartbreaking. It's crazy. They grow up so fast, though. This time we'll fly by so fast and he'll be doing everything. the typical kid does. I hope so. Blow your mind. Me too. Jasper's always, he's already like, he doesn't want to have a sleepover anymore. Yeah, but he ain't autistic. I know, but still, as kids growing up, it's just like, it blows your mind how quickly they grow up. Yeah. They go, they lose all the little kid stuff they used to do. Jay has told me that he's going to lose his mind when Jasper is too old to play with him. Oh, I have a buddy. He does, that's his best pal. He'll get his vasectomy reversed. Yeah. Be like, I made it. I made it. I made a baby. Does Finn or any of your older kids notice that special relationship with Jasper and give you a hard time about it? No, because they all know. They know I'm a big kid. Finn will still skate with me. We'll go skateboard on the halfpipe together. Did you do that with Finn? Oh, yeah. We were the same. We're all the kids. We all played as much as...

3:37:05We could, and then they grew out of it. Were they like, hey, we're not going to play anymore? So it's not like Jasper's any different. No, we're all the same. Jay's going to be in full-on depression. Well, maybe by the time Jasper doesn't want to play anymore, then your other kids will be having kids. That's what I'm hoping. So you'll have grandkids to play with. Tell Maddie to get busy, pal. Don't tell her to be like me. Whatever she does. Oh, I've warned her. I've warned her. Just don't follow in my footsteps. I'll tell my kids that too. My fake kids, I'll tell them that. Oh, gosh. You're like the poster child for that. Exactly. Don't let your eggs dry up. And don't give away your milk for free. For like three years. Yeah. Four now, actually. That's a lot of milk. Four is a dairy farm. Wait, dairy farms give away less milk. But LLB, you're saying don't. Don't give away your milk for free. That's the advice you will give. Be a cow. Put yourself for sale as a cow. Don't give your milk away. You just hold on to that milk. Say, hey, milk ain't free. Yeah, that's right. If you want the milk, you got to get the whole cow. Now, wait a minute. Are you still giving your milk away for free? That's neither here nor there. Well, not as much as she used to. It's not about why this is about what next. We're young women of the world who don't want to end up like me. L.O.B.'s like, it's not about why this what I'm doing right now.

3:38:34It's about what's next. What I should have done, maybe. Like different, like changing it up a little bit. Hey, maybe you cut the milk off. But she likes milk. I know. She's like, but it's to the point now where if you don't milk the cow, you explode. Exactly. Cow explodes. Guy may decide that. If he's not getting milk here, he's going to go get it somewhere else. Well, maybe I'll give my milk somewhere else, too. There's plenty of milk to go around for now. Sounds like a really healthy farm. Very organic. Yes. Smells a little bit like a nut farm. Grain fed. Oh, sorry. I apologize. Please don't hurt me. Cage free. That's it. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42s. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. AT&T has something called GoPhone Unlimited. Unlimited talk. Unlimited text. Unlimited web. For 50 bucks a month. You're on the Nationwide Network. And it's the Nationwide Network you can trust. It's AT&T. Which, by the way, when we had the blackout, my AT&T was working. Still had service on AT&T.

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3:44:27Not all results apply to all people. The Padres' schedule is winding down, but the baseball season continues with exciting playoff action. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show is your source for expanded pennant race coverage and the best Chargers reporting anywhere in San Diego. And, of course, we've set up camp at Montezuma Mesa for exciting Aztecs action all season long. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 beginning in October on Channel 4 San Diego. Baseball action continues exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego as the Padres continue their series with the Giants. 7 p.m. Tuesday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then there's my show. But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4 San Diego. Okay, so let me tell you about my credit union. They gave me advice, approved my mortgage, got an awesome rate, by the way, and they gave me money for closing costs. Who does that? Navy Federal Credit Union. That's who. Refinance your mortgage or purchase your new home with guaranteed low rates and up to $2,500 for your closing costs. Your personal mortgage rep guides you through, and before you know it, you're home.

3:45:48Navy Federal members, military, DOD, and their families apply today at NavyFederal.org. That will be insured by NCUA Equal Housing Lender. I'm one degree away from making myself more valuable. American Public University has more than 75 online degrees. I'm one degree away from standing out. American Public University has been nationally recognized by the Sloan Consortium for Best Practices in Online Education. And I'm one click away from making it happen. To learn more about an accredited online university, visit AmericanPublicUniversity.org. Chronic Tacos now has two locations, one in Encinitas and one in Solana Beach. They offer fast, fresh Mexican food from third-generation recipes. Grab breakfast all day or maybe some fish, shrimp, fajitas, or fries. You can customize your entree any way you like it with their fresh ingredients. Check out EatChronicTacos.com. I've never been so happy. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be Woods. That's why I don't eat that funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Cosby. Did it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad. On FM 94.9. Listen to this album incessantly. Hey, Woods, you know what we didn't talk about? What? Yummy 20. I know I do.

3:47:46I don't want to talk about it. You get it tomorrow. What's payday? Thursday, you'll get it. Feast. Woods didn't want it. Woods hasn't brought it up. I don't report on Notre Dame football. I'm not allowed to. Michigan, Notre Dame. Yeah, Mike's a big Brady Hoke fan. I like him. Great. So does Sizzler. Is it? Not really, but kind of. You ever skip two games away starting season? You ever just start your season playing for a Chick-fil-A Bowl bid? Me and Woods. I'm praying for a Chick-fil-A Bowl. You know, Notre Dame is a nationally, NBC airs their games. I mean, they're a big team. Yeah, overhyped. And Woods is a big fan. And I had a, we were having a discussion about them because Woods will overreact and say, they suck. They suck, dude. They suck. They don't.

3:48:50Suck. All right. You're a big player. Yes, they have turnovers, but they don't suck. You're a big fan of the numbers don't lie bit. Yeah. Okay. What's their record? 0-2. Right. But they don't suck. How many turnovers in two games? Chargers went to the playoffs. Ten. They started out with five losses. They suck. They suck. If they run the table and get a BCS bid, I'll be like, hey, Mike, you were right. They're going to be 0-3 after this weekend at Michigan State. They suck, dude. You think so? They suck. He called his dad and goes, Well, at least we can enjoy the season now because there's no pressure. None. And I'm like. There's none. With college. College, dude. One or two losses, you're done. You're done. They got to win six games to be bowl eligible. I'm looking at their schedule going, great. Glad I'm flying up there for the USC game, which means nothing now. It'll still be fun. Yeah, it'll be fun because I get to go with my dad, but it means nothing. It's over. My brother said the same thing. I don't think it's over. I think they're a good football team. I watched a game, man. Oh, dude. Man, they look good. Yeah, yeah. You know what a good football team does? They don't give a team with 30 seconds left. Yale could have stopped Michigan. Yale could have. Cornell could have stopped Michigan with 30 seconds left. The Tipsy Crows in uniform could have stopped those guys. Woods Adult Little League team. It's my semi-professional baseball team. God, I'm pissed, dude. It felt like my soul.

3:50:07was ripped from my body. You taped it, right? I didn't watch one second. You didn't? Not one second. After I found out the result, I couldn't bear to. Jamie goes, Dude, it was a good game, and Notre Dame played well. No, they didn't. They had moments of bad, but they did play well. Four more turnovers. That's not playing well. Giving a team 80 yards with 30 seconds left to win the game, that ain't playing well. At the end of the day, they lost. They suck ass. They're terrible. Wow. They're terrible. Unfair. Their coach is a lunatic. He's a lunatic. Cincinnati ain't Notre Dame, pal. Get your ass out of it. I would give Urban Meyer $50 million a year to come out of retirement and coach you. You would take Lou Holtz at this point. Even I, who love Lou Holtz, I'm like, all right, pal. Let's hang up those cleats. Let's take it to the house. Maybe go fishing. It makes me crazy. I know. But anyway. New releases. Oh, man. Great ones today. First one, Alice Cooper. Welcome to my nightmare. Who's the new Def Leppard? Keisha. Keisha. Keisha. Keisha. There's no such thing as a dollar sign in a name. Who is that? That's Alice Cooper. I know, but who is that audience? Oh.

3:51:3350-year-old? 50-year-old guy. Your father-in-law? Your father-in-law? With Kesha, though? Listen to this. Wait, what? Kesha's on the record. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, Kesha's on the record. That's Kesha. And Alice Cooper? Yeah. Shocking. Dude, he's like, maybe we try to sell some records. Yeah. The new Anthrax is out, Mikey. It's called Worship Music. Mikey? Well, it's called Worship Music. Anything but. Yeah. John Bush, they're a singer still? I don't know. I'm waiting to hear it sound like this is an instrumental album. It's coming. Or is he the guitar player? He eventually sings. Scott Ian Woodsy. Oh, your anthrax. Who's Scott Ian? He's in the band, but he's not the singer. He's a guitar player. Sounds young. Doesn't sound old to me. That doesn't say... It's not that. Yeah. All right. The new Blondie is out. Panic of Girls. Oh, thank God.

3:52:56It's a shame. Age will just get you, man. It will get you. Stevie Nicks, man. Yeah, it's a shame. Even Lindsey Buckingham, man. We listened to it the other day. We're like, oh, gosh darn. Listen, let me tell you something. When a human being is in music and they're 27 years old, they are right. They're on. They're on. 27. 47, 57. It isn't happening the same. It's tough. It's tough. It's not happening. The new Bush is out, Sea of Memories. I like this song. I've always liked Gavin's voice. Sounds like Bush. You think he's foxy? Hill? Actually, no. No, but what about back in the day? Not really. No, all right. I mean, I appreciate that he's an attractive person, but he's not really my... He's not your cup of tea. When I used to watch the Glycerin video, I was like, oh, he's speaking to me. I think he's a good looking guy.

3:54:11This band always made me laugh because I knew a few dudes that were really into them. Dream Theater, a dramatic turn of events. Poor Man's Rush. Real Poor Man's Rush. Jay. That's Poor Man's Rush. Nerd, prog. They only sell this on cassette. At Sam Goody. At Sam Goody. It's actually a single. It's a single. Do you know what I did yesterday? You're going to think I'm such a plebeian. I was already thinking ahead of when I get my allowance back. January. Do you know what I was looking at? What? Record players. I've done it a million times. I keep thinking about doing it. I've got a box, two boxes full of records, old country records I want to get through. You're not a plebeian. You know what made me do it? The Foo Fighters put their new record out on vinyl. And I'm like, oh my God. That sounds great. And they recorded it all analog. Analog. Yep. That sounds good.

3:55:20The new Lady Antebellum, Own the Night, is out. It's like Bruce Springsteen. Maybe I do like that. Maybe I like that. Once she started, I kind of like that. Maybe she should just sing and that dude should just bail. Every time he sings, I'm out. But she's got a great voice. She started singing. I was like, oh, it reminds me of Tucson. And it reminds me of Matt Blake. It's Lady Antebellum. Why is he in a group called Lady Antebellum? Maybe just be Antebellum. Yeah. He's a eunuch. Here's another one I never got. And I know I'm going to get killed for it. But I never understood Primus. Me either. Green Naugahyde. Me either. Never. He's a hell of a bass player. But to listen to it makes me want to hang myself with wax dental floss. I'm out. Really? Too many puppies? Sailing the seas of cheese. Shtick rock for me, I think. Oh, really? Yeah. Shticky. Too many puppies. The new Stained is out. Stained. Lewis has a nice voice. Over him. He's always sad now.

3:56:48Now? Well, their first album was like hard and kind of driving. Then it was like, I hate myself. I want to kill myself. I'm like, come on, dude. Didn't they have a ballad that was like their hits? Yeah, it's been a while. That's a good tune. I like that song. The new Bangles is out. Sweetheart of the Sun. Bangles? Yeah, the Bangles. Sounds like Matthew Sweet. Wow. And Susanna Haas. Sounds like the Bangles. I love it. I wonder if he produced this. Sounds like it. Because he did a lot of stuff with Susanna Hawks. So I bet he did. Yeah, they did a duet record. Not the cowbell. Let's just have a rule about cowbell and modern music. It's done. More of it. And out on DVD today is Thor. And a movie called Hesher, which is supposed to be an indie movie. Natalie Portman bit. Okay.

3:57:47Let's see. What do you got coming up, Hill? A New Jane's Addiction. Oh, I love it so much. Grab some yeah, yeah, yeahs and a band that'll be here pretty soon playing at the Open Air Theater and also a band that reunited recently and Desert Island Discs. Not bread. A track, an entire bread album at 11. I want to make it with you. I would not be mad at that. Lovely time to Hillary. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. Mikey shows up. Yep.