The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/16/10

0:00What if Dave Matthews comes in and sings that song? He'll probably mess up the words. Yeah. So you're listening for us to cleverly work that into a sentence. And when you hear that, caller number nine will win. Jay, what will they win? They get a $100 gift certificate to Fleming's Steakhouse and a pair of, they get a choice of angel or anarchy sunglasses. Wow. How good was that Fleming's yesterday? It was so good. Incredible. My wife was like, I heard you talking about that. It was making my mouth water. It was great. It makes my mouth water. It makes my mouth water. It was really good. I took some of it home, that macaroni. Did you? I saw that. Oh, yeah. Share the well. Hey, there was a ton left. Maybe prepare your own. I'll dish it up for you. It was delicious. I was in here being dynamic. You're out there getting your ears waxed. It was after the show when I was clearing your ears waxed. Jay's out there cleaning house. Wow. That was an overreaction. Well, okay, so gave the word of the day. Guess what's back today at 730? The Incorporated is back today. We have phone lines that work flawlessly. We can call out. I'm so nervous.

1:07You are? How long has it been? Five months? Four months? Five months? We call some place out in the middle of nowhere back east and Woodsy has to incorporate words into his conversation. And I don't know the words. You don't know what the words are. This is... what you call Mikey's show original that I brought in with me from Dallas. We used to do this at Reach Local where I used to work because we were bored out of our skulls. So they would fire words at us and we had to seamlessly work them in the conversation. And you can't just throw, if you've never heard it, you can't just say, you know, if the word's Cadillac, I can't just say, yes, I'd like to talk to you, Cadillac. You know, you have to work it into a conversation. You have to make it a part of the convo. It's a lot of fun. Open phones. Call us now. Call about anything you want. Love to talk to you. Just give us a call. The big stories out there are the Chelsea's Law thing and what happened with that yesterday. And also, Inez Sands. She's the self-proclaimed hottest sports broadcaster in the world. She's the one that is in this controversy with the New York Jets. So she is back in the news.

2:21And what the Pope said about the sex scandals is a big topic of conversation today. But I guess yesterday the NFL wrote a memo to all 32 teams and said, you guys got to treat women right. Just a reminder, you want to be very respectful of women. You want to make sure that whenever there's women in the locker room, you're not doing any shenanigans. You're not doing anything sideways. And there apparently is an organization called the Association of Women in Sports Media that is hosting an educational session with the Jets. That sounds great. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that one. It's going to be next week. They're like, really? We're going to go to this thing? It's mandatory, Coach? Yeah, it sure is. All of you. This is mandatory. I have to go.

3:19Yes, you do, and I'll tell you why, because let me just read you this quote from this group. Fine. They said, if Jets players, coaches, and staff are found to have acted in an unprofessional and harassing behavior towards Ms. Sands, we expect and demand reprimand and punishment by the NFL and the Jets. Even though Sands herself has said that she considered it a yoke. I didn't even pay attention to it. I thought it was funny. Coach, I make $20 million. Okay, I'm not going to this thing. You got to go to her. I'm not going. We're not having this organization breathing down our throat. Great, I'm not going. I didn't do anything. I was in another corner of the locker room. Doesn't matter. Great. Doesn't matter. You see her? Yeah, I saw her. All right. You got to go. Nice booty. Don't say that out loud. Say it right here in the office. To me, you could say it, but don't you say that when you walk out of this office or we're done. That makes my mouth water. Exactly. You see a camera on.

4:14You say I barely noticed she was in the room. When I did see her, I thought of her as a peer, as a colleague. She was a colleague. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get late. That's my favorite. Mind your P's and Q's. All right, I will. Will you? Won't I? You're a young man. I have to tell you these things because I do too. No. I thought I didn't, but you know. You and the guy in the locker room next to you is throwing balls at her. I know. Don't say that. Pay attention. 55-year-old guy in San Diego is the first dude to come up against these new penalties in Chelsea's law. Yeah, yeah. I like it. Way to be the pioneer, my friend. 55 years old. Registered sex offender. Yeah, perfect.

5:17Here's what he did. He's charged with committing lewd acts on a minor on Sunday just before 10 o'clock in the morning on Cherry Road in Lakeside. Two counts. Two minors. Two boys, seven and nine years old. Was rubbing one of them's back and then the other one they say, all it says is that with the other one he did something inappropriate and attempted to expose himself. Now. Under the old rules, he would have faced a maximum sentence of 15 years to life in prison. Even as a registered sex offender. Yes. However, because the governor signed the new Chelsea's Law on September 9th, now he faces 25 years to life in prison on each count. Yes. Which I think if you ask Californians what they would think of...

6:23A guy that's a registered sex offender rubbing some seven-year-old's back and then inappropriately touching a nine-year-old and attempting to expose himself. If anybody would have a problem with that guy going to jail for the rest of his life, no questions asked. I just wonder how many California voters you would find that would say, no, I'm not down with that. I know. Probably not many. Yeah, I mean. They might be registered. Yeah. Sex offenders. You know. As a guy that has very openly, during my testimony, talked about how I was sexually abused when I was a kid, all I can tell you is that it messes you up. And these guys should go away for the rest of their lives. In favor of like a one-strike rule on that? 100%. It's not even a question, is it? 100%. One little dalliance, you're done. Yeah.

7:22Oh, Woods, dalliance is a great word. Is that a great word? I've been waiting to break that one out for a while. I've got to learn to use that. Let's see. I'll tell you about the Pope thing later. I feel like it's too much of the same thing now. Same bit. Yeah, and I don't want to get all down. I want things to be, I want to get you a little upbeat today. How about this, find this one for me, Woodsy, the guy that set the record on Jeopardy. Oh, yeah, this guy. That should be pretty good. This guy, clean house, man. And by the way, you can call us, 570-1949. Second day in studio. I'm loving it. I'm loving it, too. I feel so much more at home today. This guy's a 33-year-old grad student. He is not the former running back for the San Francisco 49ers, but his name is Roger Craig. But he's not the former 49er. He won $77,000 on Jeopardy two nights ago. In one day? Yeah. That's a lot of dough. That is a lot. Think about when you watch Jeopardy, you'll see somebody win like,

8:235, 6, 7, 8, 9 grand. 77K. That must have just cleared the board. Yeah. Well, to me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. Obviously. But beyond that. To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. I gotta do a little bit of a tree. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Yeah! It's impossible for us to say to me. You can't say to me in here. Jay did it yesterday. I mean, we're having a serious conversation in the room. A serious conversation. And Jay said to me, and I went, it looked like a leprechaun to you. You were all still serious, though, when you said it looked like a leprechaun. It looked like a leprechaun to you. It did, actually, when you bring it up that way. But this guy set the record for the most money one in a show in one day. But to me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. And also, anybody that watches Jeopardy. to me, is a genius. Really? Yes, because I can't watch... Dude, I can't answer...

9:20one Jeopardy question. Yes, you can. If it's about Lady Gaga, I can. The more you watch it, the more you can answer. If it's about Jean-Paul Sartre, no, I can't. And it often is. Well, you know, some categories, they strike a nerve. Some of them, you're like, I don't know any of that. French literature? See you later. Do you love Jeopardy, L.O.B.? I love it. You know what we used to do in college? One of my best friends and I, we used to go to class, go back to my place, have lunch. and play each other in Jeopardy. We'd keep score. Really? We didn't do like the daily doubles because you couldn't really. Who brought the weed? Oh, come on. But we would sit there and keep score and I would smoke him. I am the master of useless trivia. Useless knowledge. I know a lot about it. Yeah. But it's one of my favorite shows. I don't know how you do it. I just like sometimes when I play with Jamie and I just yell stuff out, just random. Wrong answers. She laughs. We made that switch where you couldn't use the rabbit ears anymore and you had to have cable. That was the one thing I was like, no, Jeopardy! L.O.B., I can't believe that you don't watch. I'd lose my mind. That's the thing. I get that she didn't watch it much. I get that. You say that if you had a TV, that's all you'd do. Is that the truth? Not all I'd do, but I'd waste a lot of time. You would? Do you guys...

10:40During the week, do you watch TV? Oh, yeah. A little. A lot. How? I watch movies. You go to bed so early. But I watch movies. If I get home, let's say I get home at noon, I get in and I turn it off of Guiding Light or Young and the Restless or whatever it's on, and I put on a movie. And I usually will grab a nap to that movie, wake up, watch The Office, Seinfeld, Friends, The Office, and then maybe a Sopranos episode, and I go to bed. I turned on the television the other day in the middle of the day, and... Days of Our Lives was on, and there were still some actors on it that were on it when I used to watch Days of Our Lives when I was 15. Yeah. I watched it too. And so I was looking at it, and I was thinking to myself, that's the end of the road for Stefano, right? I mean, I guess he's not going to really go on to movies. Yeah. No, because it's been 25 years. 25 years, so I guess, you know. He's not being considered for the same roles that, say, Harrison Ford is. Correct. He's got his gig and he's doing okay. I'm looking at Sammy. I'm like, I remember when you were a little girl. Yeah. Now you're an adult woman. Darn near signing up for AARP. Yep. And all I did is focus on the bad acting and their careers. That's what I was thinking about as I watched it. Interesting take.

12:05That was it. I mean, I watched and I went, wow, Abe. Like, wow, you're still here. I don't think that they have any, like, rehearsals or a whole lot of direction. I think they, like, show up that morning, get their script, and just start going live. Well, not live, but. That's a talent in itself, is it not? Hello? Dude. I mean, that's insane. What about when a quarterback gets traded to another team or any player gets traded to another team and they get a playbook? To me, that's like, how do you get a playbook and figure that out? How do you remember? You hear. In a huddle, you hear somebody on the sideline. The backup quarterback's wearing a headset, and he's holding a clipboard. And he's calling in the play to the quarterback. New team. And he goes, Zipper 214, Oxfox, Oxfox 221, Red Baron, 891, Zipper Trout. I'm like, are you freaking kidding me? And they go out and execute. Then these guys on soap operas, they get a new script every day. Really? How do they memorize that? How? Well, you see the way it's delivered, right? Yeah, that's true. But still, how did you remember it? I think it's a muscle that you exercise. You keep on working on memorization. Yeah, it's not De Niro-esque, but I guess it's good enough to where they've been on for 30 years and these people keep their jobs. I mean, I can't imagine getting that. Imagine me in the morning.

13:28You hand me a script and I got to memorize it by noon. Forget it. Well, I guess the deal is, is that Deidre Hall's like, you know what? I could pretty much fart like Marlena at this point. Yeah. I know everything there is to know. It's basically the same old routine. Yeah. She's here. She's possessed. I get it. And they don't get a whole lot of monologues. Yeah. Is it just kind of quick one line back and forth? Oh, and it's terrible, dude. I mean, it's terrible. Maybe we'll watch a soap opera for the 28-hour show. That'd be interesting because I haven't watched one in 20 years. Oh, my gosh. I used to watch... That's a great idea. Wouldn't that good? Somebody please write that down. Would that be good? Yes. And we could just fillet it. Can we watch Passions? It's the best one. Oh, I've never heard of that. It's new. It's a newer one. It's new. I was into it in college. I want to do something well known. Young and the Restless. Something like that. Is General Hospital on the television? No, I don't think so. You'll like Passions. There's a lot of supernatural stuff. She's going to sell you on Passions. Look, that's all I wrote. No. I want something. Guiding Light. Guiding Light. Days of Our Lives. One of the big ones. Fine. That'd be rad. Yeah. It'd be funny. And then everybody can watch it. We'll fillet it. Yeah. It's a great idea. Fillet it.

14:36Serve it up with some steamed rice. Absolutely. That's right. 570-1949 is our number. Or if you want and you're shy and you don't want to call us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. But I would like to ask you to call. Maybe you call in. Well, here's the deal. We know because of ratings that there's a lot of people listening. But there's also, and see, there's also a lot of my old P1s that are now M1s. And they don't want to call and say, just come up with a new M1 name. Yeah, yeah. You can do that. New show, new name. New show, new name. It's fine with me. I just want to hear from you. I want to hear from all the oldies with the goodies. Where's my space boy? Where's my... Where are all these guys? Where's AO? Where's... Philly's finest. See, I don't know these guys. I know, man. Why don't you call and introduce yourself to the kids? I mean, they probably listen to the old show still a little bit, too, which is, you know, whatever. But I know you're still listening. You can still call. You just change your name. Come call in and creep on L.O.B. You know what I mean? Call and introduce yourself. That's right. Philly's finest. I'm interested in that. Yeah. T-Rex, you can be Stegosaurus now. Where is the old P1 Nubian Prince for L.O.B., baby? That's right.

15:52M1 entire Knicks team. Exactly. M1 power forward. Where are you? Oh, my gosh. That is fantastic. M1 Vijay Singh. Give us a call. Oh, boy. My wife got me this little box, and it's got all these. It's a game, but it's got all these topics that are fantastic for the Mikey show. Look at that. Look at that, by the way. What? Look. Oh, yeah, they're lighting up. They're lighting up. Phone lines are lighting up. Crowds. That's crowd. It's all over it. Would you rather be in big trouble with your boss, your partner, or your mother? That's good. For me, it comes down to either partner or boss. Right. Mother. Not even be in big trouble with my mom. So the question is, would you rather be? Yeah, would you rather be in big trouble with your partner, your boss, or your mom? But, okay, consider, you can't really think. Oh, I get what you're saying. Would you rather be?

16:56My mom. Because I'm not going to be the correct answer. Okay, well then let me phrase it this way. Which would you least like to be in trouble with? Your partner, your boss, or your mom? You least like to be in trouble with? My boss. Yeah. Your partner, you got to live with them. You got to live with them. Yeah, but they're also much easier to forgive and forget. Put some poison in your coffee. Yeah, and I think Woodsy feels like, I can get my way out of that one. Yeah, I can get out of it at home. I can dance my way out of it. Yeah, I'll dance. I'll laugh my way out of it. I'll do fake tickle bit, the whole thing. I'm just kidding. You're not mad. You're not mad. Fake tickle bit. I do it to Jake. Yeah, why is that? I don't want to be, I think I would pick, the least I would want to be. is definitely my boss because who knows, that could trickle down to my partner. Yeah, for sure. I don't know. Let's see. M1 Nubian Prince from Otay Mesa. For real? Yeah. What's up? What's going on? Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. There we go. Go ahead. What's up? How you doing? I'm good, man. Hey, I'm going to tell you, Mikey, I did follow you from the other station, man. Right on, dude.

18:09I appreciate it. Yeah, it used to be, what can I say? Yeah, you used to be P1 what? Stuck in the trunk. There you go. Is he really a Nubian prince? Yes, yes alone I am. Actually, I'm on your Facebook too. Yeah! There you go. There you go. Like my name. There you go. I'll change my name just for you, okay? How about that? That's great. Nice. That's awesome. That is awesome. my car, but I just want to tell you guys. I love you guys, and I'm so stoked 94.9, man. Hey, thank you, man. We appreciate you. Thank you. You have a good one. Oh, you hung up by my Nubian prince. We said goodbye. I'm so glad he came out of the trunk. No doubt. It's like in conversations when you're having a conversation with somebody, people can say goodbye to you by the inflection of their voice. It's done usually with the word okay, and it happens like this. Okay. And when you hear that, you go, oh, okay, that means we're done? I have a friend that will not say goodbye. I'm just like, he goes, all right, cool. And then I'm like, oh, just look at my phone. He hung up. He's done. He never says goodbye. He goes, okay, cool, hangs up. Or we're like, all right, sweet. Okay. He hangs up on you? Never heard goodbye. He's like, I don't like goodbyes.

19:30So I'm like, are we done here? Neither does my son, Jake. He doesn't like that word and he didn't want to hear it. Really? Yeah, he didn't want to hear the end and he doesn't want to hear goodbye. Aw. Sweet boy. Makes a little more sense for a four-year-old instead of a 30-year-old. And when Jason from Poway, what's up? Doing? Good. Yeah. You said you would get out of your way and say. Yep. Yeah, you sure did. I would look at the freeway. I would just examine the road and what it looked like and how odd that is and how I never get to see something like that up close and examine it.

20:49Wow! You got to check it out up close. What was it like? Oh, I can't even explain it. It was so awesome. What? Wow. It's a road. Dude, I thought of it again the other day. I was driving on the 805 and I was about to get on to the 5. It was at the 8055. And the traffic was so slow because the traffic was so heavy. And I was looking at it and I was like, look at you, Asphalt. You are so different looking. It had grooves in it. Go to the parking lot. No, Woods. It's different. It's not like on the freeway. It's close enough. It's got grooves on the freeway. It's very close. different. The actual rock and the asphalt that they use is very different in color and nature and texture. I'd like to examine it. I'd like to get right down on my hands and knees and go, oh, wow, you've had thousands upon thousands of cars drive over you. Yeah, mine, I would go to the Playboy Mansion, my friend. All right, fine. To each their own. I bet it was cool, dude. Oh, yeah. It's a regular Haley's Comet out there. All right, thank you. Thanks, Jason. I knew I was going to take some heat for it, but listen.

21:57It is interesting to me. There's no doubt about it. I don't know if you heard the news about Shannon Sharp, man. Shannon Sharp used to play for the Packers and was a regular. Ravens. Yeah, he played for the Packers for years, Shannon Sharp. And then he played for Denver. No, Denver Broncos. Denver. Yeah, you're thinking of Sterling. I'm thinking of Sterling Sharp. Yep. Shannon Sharp played for years for Denver, and then he went to Baltimore. But anyway, he is. Being accused of something that's going to make you fall out of your chair. The headline said, sex crimes. Oh, boy. We'll give you the details, what's on sports, and do the panel next. Word of the day is crash. When you hear me work that into a sentence, be calling 9 at 5701-949. And I already forgot what Jay said you're going to win on Word of the Day today. His and her sunglasses? And Fleming's gift certificate and a choice.

23:26of an angel or anarchy single. It's pretty rad. $100 Fleming's gift certificate. Delicious. That's so awesome. Fleming's is good. God, it's real good. It's delicious. So, yeah, be listening for me to work the word crash into a sentence. Incorporate her back at 7.30 this morning. How about that? Very nice. Very nervous. You're going to be great. Am I? Yep. I can't wait. I can't either. I'll be like, uh, uh, uh, uh. It's going to be great. Either way. You stuttering idiot. Woodsy's going to be telling you about Shannon Sharp here in just a second and Woods on Sports. Shannon Sharp. Shannon Sharp. The Magnetic Zeros. Jimmy Kimmel talked to Dr. Phil last night. I want to throw some things by you and you tell me if it's something you actually said, if you remember saying, or if it's something that we made up. Okay? That's just a hilarious concept. Alright. Here we go. Is this the Dr. Philism? When in Rome, hook up with a black guy. I don't think that was you. I don't think that was me. Next. Don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass. I did say that. You did say that. Wow. He said that. This is an eat and kill world. If you don't kill something, you don't just go eat what he killed. I don't even know what that means. Me neither. But you did say it. No, I did not say it. Can you believe that? You said that. That's great.

25:00That's a funny bit. Is that that? I guess. I like the first one. What was it? I went in Rome, hooked up with a black guy. Weird. Of course you do. Of course you like that one. And by Rome, I mean anywhere. By Rome, I mean San Diego. Woodsy's got a little Woods on sports for us. I want to know. We're doing this, huh? Yeah, let's do it. Woods! Woods, Woods, Woods! Woods on sports! Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, the Padres could not get the sweep last night, but they did win two out of three against the Rockies. Troy Tulewitzki for the Rockies, dude, hit two homers last night, drove in seven runs, which is pretty much what I do in a whole season, which is pretty amazing. They lost nine to six.

25:52Clayton Richard, who we have a bobblehead of here in our new studio, did not have a good night. He gave up eight runs on 11 hits in only three innings. Here's Bud Black on his starting pitcher. Cut one. This was a rough one. You know, the home run. You know, they just got hits. They hit balls hard. They hit balls soft. They broke bats for hits. It was their day against Clayton. That's tough, man. That's tough. Still in the lead, right? Still in the lead. It's good. Still in the lead. Giants are creeping still. It's such a good race. Yeah, it is. It's such a good race, man. We are getting there. Also, the Chargers announced on Tuesday that more than 7,000 tickets are still unsold. For this weekend? For the Sunday's home opener. And here's the deal. If they're not purchased by 115 today, the game may be blacked out. This is a potential Super Bowl team. It's ridiculous. It's crazy. Now, here's the deal. I just moved here. Is this a bit? Is this the bit? It is. It is a bit here. I couldn't believe it when I moved here either. So on an average, how many... But don't worry, Woods. If they beat Jacksonville, we'll be fine. You'll get to see the games. If they beat Jacksonville on Sunday... Are you kidding? If they lose to Jacksonville, yeah, we'll be talking about the same thing. Is it because they lost the opener? Yeah. Are you telling me, had they beaten the Chiefs, this sucker sold out? I don't think that there would be an... I don't think this issue would be here. I think it'd be fine.

27:15Holy. Especially if they've beaten them convincingly. Yeah, if they beat them by 30, that's insane. Well, so like Mike just mentioned, they'll be taking on the Jaguars of Jacksonville. Do you remember Kasim Osgood? He'll be coming back to town. He'll be coming back to town. Hello, boo. Breaking my heart. And North says that they can right the ship. Cut to. There's no question. And, you know, it's for us, from a standpoint of players and coaches, and it is the cliche, but we're not thinking about anything other than, you know, last week was Kansas City and this week is, you know, Jacksonville. That's it. Some amazing editing by me this morning. Thanks, Norm. Thank you. Woods, do you remember what he was trying to make a point of? That he's really excited. That sounds like it. He's really excited about the game. Don't worry about it. Also, Reggie Bush has given back his Heisman. And a lot of people were saying that Vince Young should win it because he was the runner-up. But VY said, I don't want it. Reggie Bush won that Heisman. I didn't win it, and I don't want it five years later. Exactly. So now they've decided that nobody gets it. So it's going to remain vacant.

28:31You know what's weird about it to me, Woods, and I know you'll disagree. It's not like he was on roids. Oh, I know. It's not like he raped somebody or held up something or beat somebody up. I know. It's just one of those things. It's strange to me because it didn't have to do with his performance. On the field, not at all. That's what would seem like you would take a Heisman away because somebody... cheated somehow. Right. I know. And you know what? I don't like USC, but I think that, I think that it is a little bit crazy, but I mean, it's, it's the dude took a lot of cash. He did something bad, you know, you know, something bad. It's just, it's just, that's kind of the, you know, it's funny in college football. That's like the number one thing you don't do. Well, you can get away with all kinds of other stuff, all kinds of other stuff. But that's like the thing. That's like the one. Like the worst of the sins of college football. That's it. It must have been a deal where the agent must have somehow convinced him that, don't worry, you're not going to get caught for this. Yeah, we're going to give this all to your parents. This kind of stuff happens. It happens. And it does happen. That's the thing. But again, I agree with Vince Young. He's like, I don't want that thing. And then finally, this was a very, you know, it's kind of disappointing. Not kind of. It was.

29:45It's a very disappointing story. Shannon Sharp has stepped aside from his broadcasting duties at CBS due to allegations that he forced a woman to have sex, also threatened her life, and has placed her under surveillance and has told her, I'm watching you. What? It's insane. Who is she? I don't know. Some woman that's just unidentified. Yeah, in the article that I saw, that's what they said. I've watched that guy for the last 10, 11 years on CBS. Can barely complete a sentence, but he's a fixture up there. I mean, I never really liked the dude as a commentator, but he's there. I love his brother. Oh, yeah. I think that Sterling Sharp... He's great. Yeah. Sterling Sharp, I think, is an amazing, amazing broadcaster. Yeah, he's really good, but this is another case of these guys having... Having everything they need, you know? And we talked about Steve Phillips from ESPN and all the creepy stuff he was doing. So this is just a really sad story. I always want it to play out before somebody's gone. Yeah. You know, because to me, it doesn't seem like that's fair to him. Well, he stepped aside. He did it on his own? What would you do? Well, I mean, you know, it's one of those things, Mike, that I don't think anybody will ever know if they called him in and said, hey.

31:06Save yourself the embarrassment and go ahead and quote unquote step aside right now. Dude, I'll put it this way. You are the show's bad boy. Right. I'll put it out there. You're the show's bad boy. If somebody accused you of something, I'm not kidding. I would say, hey, listen, I understand there's an accusation, but I want to see this thing play out. If it plays out and it turns out that Woodsy did something wrong. Right. Then, yeah, man, it has to happen. And I hate to see it happen. Right. But I also. hate to see you not have a fair chance because it's America. And I feel that way about Shannon Sharp unless there's some part of the story we're missing and we don't know. But I don't know. I mean, I feel that everybody needs to be considered. For sure. But here's the deal. Would he feel comfortable getting on TV every week knowing the things that are hanging over his head right now? You know? If he didn't do anything wrong, he would. But maybe he didn't do anything wrong and there's tremendous pressure. Yeah, maybe. I guess you're dealing with a lot of money when you're talking networks and stuff like that. Absolutely. The panel is where we discuss news items of the day. We get 20 seconds on it. California drivers are texting even though there's a law that says you can't do it. They're still doing it.

32:31In fact, there was a survey that was just done there. They sampled 4,000 vehicles in the OC. And they found that 2.7 of them were observed texting at any given time. That's twice the rate that was surveyed in January of 2009 when it went into effect. Drivers who are caught texting and fined $20 for the first offense and no points are assessed. to their driving record. In 2008, 6,000 people died in crashes caused by distracted drivers, many of whom were texting, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Well, okay, so this brings up the topic of texting. Yesterday, I was driving, and I looked over, and I saw a guy who was talking on his phone, you know, with the phone up to his ear. And... My wife keeps both hands on the wheel and holds the phone cradled to her shoulder. And I go, what are you doing? And she says, I'm hands free. That's a little loophole real good. And she wouldn't get in trouble for it. Would she not? No, my cousin's a cop. My cousin's a cop. And he said that if you're not holding it in your hand, that you're okay. It just doesn't look.

34:02Safe. Comfortable or safe. Yeah. To drive with your head tilted to the side. Crick in the neck. Yeah. I do it. I do both. You do both. Yeah. Sorry. All right. Well, then let's go. Let's discuss. Talking on the phone, texting. Woods, what's your bet? I do it. Why? There's not a law against it where I came from. I don't know if there is on texting. I guess you're still cool in Dallas then. Yeah, I guess I am. As long as we want to call this Plano, I guess you're doing fine. You know, there's no hands-free rule there. I'm not sure about the texting, but I just do it. And my wife yells at me all the time. Sorry. L.O.B., what's your bit with the texting and the talking on the phone? It's terrible. I got a ticket for talking on the phone. Real good. I had it on speaker, but I still had it in my hand. And I've since gotten an earpiece, and I won't. If I forget my earpiece or whatever, I won't do it anymore. I will, at a stop sign, I will text, which is horrible. But I think the scariest part is that the kids that are driving now, they grew up with this. At least we learned how to drive and then, I don't know, it's scary. My take on it is that I have to be convicted internally about it because I don't send text messages, but I...

35:24I don't have a problem hitting the button on my phone that will open my email so that I can look at them. While you're driving. While I'm driving. So I need to start going, well, you can't do that either. Yeah. That's texting. Jamie told me, my wife Jamie told me, put your phone in the console and don't pick it up until you get to work. And I was like, okay. It lasted five minutes. Five. You want to know the worst excuse I have? This is terrible. This is terrible. Oh, LLB, I bet you'll really think it's dumb. Hopefully you'll agree. What's that? I'm bored. Yeah. Yeah. I read emails from Mike on the way to work. I'm bored. I'm driving. I'm bored. You know what they should do? Oh, that's terrible. I admit. I want to say. I know that that's... I'm just being open with you. I just think that's terrible, though, that I'm... Really? Like, really, dude? You're that bored? Yeah. See, I love driving. I do, too. I enjoy it.

36:25But sometimes, you know, when you're traveling the same route every day. Yeah, it's true. And going 55 miles an hour. Yeah, exactly. And at 65 mile per hour speed. No, I go 65. God does not speak. Sometimes I go. Nope, that's Mike. I wonder if there's a way that they could somehow make the only emergency calls work once you are in the car, once like the engine starts or something. You know what? I think it should be the, I go the other way and I say, if this is going to be a law in California. How about technology catches up with everything? You know, how about you make it so that I can easily text? How? Speak it. I guarantee you, man. That's what OnStar is doing right now. OnStar is doing the speaking thing. You know, LOB texted me something the other day and I was on the road. And it drives me crazy when I can't text someone back. I'm like, I've got to get back so I can get back to them. I don't want them to think I'm rude. I don't want them to think I'm ignoring them. I know, it's just stupid. And so I have this app. that you can speak into. And so I wanted to say to LOB, that's really great. I'll talk to you later. So I hit the button and I go, that's really great. I'll talk to you later. And it says, glad to see what it is. Next year, maybe. I'm like, that's great. Perfect. So I do it again and it says, glad to see you, Bear.

37:49Next year, maybe. Oh, my gosh. I'm like, I'm going to go nuts. Oh, boy. I'm going to teach you to wreck my car. Yeah. You know, the thing is, is, like, I have my iPod on this little charger. And I am constantly messing with my iPod. That's almost worse. Yeah. And I'm, like, for a minute looking down at my iPod to see what's on. It's terrible. Because it's this tiny little type. Yeah. He does. It's terrible. I probably had it built into my radio. You can just plug it. plug your iPod into the glove box and it just scrolls through your whole iPod. It's the best thing I've ever got. I think in 2020 everything will be like this. You'll go, I want to hear that new song from the Killers. Download. New song. Killers. What song? Great to be me. Downloading. That's a good one. No, no, no. There won't be download times. It'll go complete. Wow. And you go play and there it is. That'd be rad. Phone call. L-O-B. Text. L-O-B. What are you doing? Send. And it'll be that easy and that fast. It'll be killer. That's what we need. It should stop. There should be a way somehow that the phone's smart enough to stop working in the car unless it's like plugged into the little console where you have to use voice activation. M1 Rye from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah. What's your question?

39:17Like, I have an iPhone as well, so I use it for GPS. So is that illegal if I'm staring down at my phone trying to find out where I'm going? Absolutely. You've got to put it in there before you leave your destination. But I've got to look down to see where I'm going. Oh, I see what you're saying. In order to follow your guidance and your... I think about that too. I don't think that that's illegal. I don't think that because you're not touching, you're not texting. You know, you're looking and we do that. GPS isn't illegal. And so if GPS isn't illegal because you're looking at a screen on your dash, it certainly shouldn't be illegal. You could probably refute that by looking at your phone records to be like, at the time I got pulled over at 217, I hadn't sent, there was no like text activity. There was no text activity. So if I'm trying to find the blue dot and I have to zoom in or zoom out, what about that? Well, the problem is, is that, yeah, that's, that would be considered texting because now you're using your fingers. And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, well, wait a second. You're not hands-free if you got that thing in your head. You have to be hands-free no matter what you're doing. You can't look at pictures. You know what's so funny? Even when I'm not texting, I'm not both hands on the wheel. Me neither. Besides Rebecca Esparza, who puts their hands at 10 and 2 besides my wife? I think it's the only way they could make a blanket rule, but it's about the diversion of your attention. Yeah. That's one of the things that I...

40:41fell in love with my wife. I thought that was the cutest thing. This little tiny blonde sitting in that Honda with 10 and 2. And I would giggle and she'd go, what's so funny? So look at you, 10 and 2. What are you, 65? Yeah. Where you going, Miss Daisy? That's so cute. Still got another one here for the panel that's pretty good. In fact, we'll hit it when we come back. It's about these parents that had their kid kicked off the cheerleading team. She's six years old. Wait till you find out why. This is a good one. A little Kings for you, black thumbnail. O.J. Simpson should probably keep his mouth shut. Why don't you keep your mouth shut, man? Because he just admitted something that he did that was pretty nasty and has to do with Fred Goldman. So we'll tell you all about it and play the audio of O.J. actually admitting it next. I'd like to hear Ben Stein sing this. Hey, fellas, have you heard the news from the children's back in town? Vines in clear eyes.

42:31What about the singer for Journey? 570-1949. That's our numbre. Give us a call if you want to. Or if you want to, you can text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Tomorrow we should bring in some sort of bonfire. Do you guys want to start a garbage can fire real quick? Yeah. Maybe a babushka. Well, tomorrow we'll have about 18 people in here. That's true. Body heat in here. It's great out here. Wish you were here. There's so many M1s coming in tomorrow. It's going to be rad. I never wear a sweatshirt. I know. When you put it on, I was like, okay, now I'm not just being a baby. No, it's chilly. It's chilly. My legs are freezing. It's going to be awesome in the winter. There's shrinkage, maybe. I didn't know if you were going to play the crickets or the perver meter.

43:52Pervert alert. All right. Trade up for charity ends Friday, right? Is that when it ends, Jay? That's when it ends. All right. Trade up for charity ends Friday. Raising money for Rady Children's Hospital. We are all the way up to a surfboard. Whoa, whoa. Well, Jay, Jay. Jay. It's Chris. I don't want that one. It might have been Chris calling about our order. I want... And everything bagel toasted well done. I want jalapeno cheddar with turkey, sausage, and cheese. And an egg. L-O-B? Same. He knows the girl. I'll take a black guy. One brother, please. Did you bring it up? Somebody's on there again on the hotline. I thought you brought it up. No, the phone lines are gone. No. Oh, boy. I don't know. What's happening here? Help me with this, though, Jay. The surfboard.

44:54It's a 9.6 gun. What does that mean? It's a type of surfboard. It's usually used in big waves. Okay. The guy says, and I've yet to get it yet. Oh, no, my phone's ringing. Chris, how about you leave me alone? It's Chris, everyone. It's a 9.6 gun. I have a 9.6. Well, but yours is not a gun. No, it's not a gun. It's just shaped. Mine's for Sally's. It's for heavy waves. Yeah, heavy waves. The guy calls it a lifesaver. Okay. And he says it's valued at about 500 bucks. It's awesome. Okay. So if you have something that is worth more than that, call us now, 570-1949, and you can trade. Maybe you have something that's worth more than $500, but you don't have any use for it. You don't use it anymore. But you want that gun. You want that surfboard gun, that nine-foot surfboard. And if you want that gun, I want to know you. Yeah. Because it takes a real man. To surf on waves like that, right? Oh, yeah. So, hey, if that's you, you're one of these guys that likes to go down to South Africa. surf with great whites, those giant barrels, then give us a call. You can get this surfboard. You just have to have something over $500 value, you know, that we can trade you for. At the end of this whole deal, we're going to be auctioning off whatever we get and end up with on Friday on eBay, and the money goes to Rady Children's Hospital and their Autism Discovery Institute. So...

46:23There it is. Make it right. Make it right. This girl, oh, by the way, the word of the day is crash. You're listening for me to use that in a sentence. What, L.O.B.? She's laughing about Jay saying, hey, Chris, how about you leave me alone? Word of the day is crash when you hear me use it in a sentence. Caller 9 wins a $100 gift certificate to Flemings and his or her sunglasses. This is a pretty crazy story. In Michigan, there's a couple that are upset because they've got a six-year-old daughter, and she was removed as a cheerleader from this flag football team because they didn't like, and they voiced their opinion, they didn't like the fact that she did a cheer where she said, our backs ache, our skirts are too tight, we shake our booties from left to right. They didn't like it. Parents didn't like it. They said, you know, she's six years old. Maybe she's not singing about her booty. This is what the six-year-olds were chanting? That's what they were chanting. And so what they did was the cheerleading team decided to vote the little girl off the team. Unbelievable. And I want to know what people think about that. Wow. Maybe you are in one of three camps. Maybe you're in the camp where you go, well, that is absolutely wrong. If it were me, I would have done the same thing. I would have complained about it. Maybe you're in the camp.

47:50Where you say, there's nothing wrong with that. Come on, we're the ones that make it perverted and weird. There's nothing wrong with a little girl and little girls doing that cheer. And you may be in the camp where you go, you know what? I would probably not like it, but I wouldn't say anything because I don't want to be that guy. What's the cheer again? The cheer is, our backs ache, our skirts are too tight, we shake our booties from left to right. I don't like it. My least favorite part is our skirts are too tight. The booty doesn't bother you? Well, I remember being, like, doing songs like that. Like, I remember being, like, singing a song about my bikini bottom and, like, shake your bonbons, stuff like that. You did? I don't know. When you were that age? Yeah, but you didn't know what it meant. But, like, the skirts are too tight. Would you be okay with it, L-O-B, if it said our backs ache and it ain't right, we shake our booties from left to right? You'd be all right with that? Maybe not. Booty. Maybe bottom. I don't know. Bottoms would be okay, wouldn't it? Were you singing it at your house or were you singing it on a field? Yeah, I was singing it with my friends. Maybe in a field. Organized activity. Adults didn't organize you to sing that. What is creepy is not exactly what the little girls are doing, but the people that are watching it that are getting the wrong idea. The creeps that could be creeping.

49:14Isn't six a little young? No, is it not? To be cheering? Yeah. No, is it not? All right, never mind. I don't think so. Peewee football. As long as it isn't weird. Those kind of cheers it is. Yeah, as long as it isn't weird. Wouldn't you think it was weird? I would think it was weird if I was playing football and I was a freshman in high school. And the freshman cheerleaders were singing. Our backs hurt. Our skirts are too tight. We shake our booties from left to right. I would think that would be weird as a freshman. That's a great point. Yeah. I'd be like, whoa, that's weird. That's a weird kind of dirty cheer. That is such an amazing point because we would. We would. If we were freshmen, you know, you'd be like. What are you talking about? Shake your booty? Yeah. You, as guys, as freshman guys, would not be like, whoa, that's weird. You'd be like, oh, tell me more. Yeah, but you would think, that's on. You'd get away with that. Yeah, you'd think in your head, that's a little risky. I kind of like it. And yet, six-year-old girls? Yeah, come on. It's weird. And I'm not an uptight dude.

50:10when it comes to stuff like that, but I know. But that made me, when I read that thing, I was like, oh boy, no, you can't do that. By the way, it irritates me that, I kind of said that jokingly because it kind of irritates me that I'm thought of as uptight. You're convicted. Some of my convictions, my moral barometer, I'm definitely thought of as uptight or weird. You know, the thought of me saying to you, hey, I don't think you should have sex before you get married, and I don't think you should live with one another. I think you should wait until you get married to live with somebody. That is uptight, man. That's weird, uptight, strange, bizarre. And I tell you, I did it. I did it. I just didn't have the convictions that I have now. And I don't say it to you because I'm saying, oh, I think that that's bad. You're a bad person, blah, blah, blah. No, I'm not saying it for that reason. I'm saying it because I believe that you will be... healthier, statistically, if you don't. Yeah. You're not condemning anybody. No. You don't condemn anybody. I'm not. I'm saying, hey, statistically, you're going to be better off if you don't do that. Sure. And I'll tell my boys that. And everybody goes, good luck with that when they're older. Right. Because by that time, it'll be 2017. What do you think your boys are going to say to you? Well, whatever. No, it'll be seven. Sorry. It'll be seven. It'll be seven.

51:36I started talking about it early, though. Luke may be living with a girl in 2017. He's probably living with a girl now, and I still know about it. Yesterday at dinner, Rebecca touched his hand. He pulled his hand away, and he looked at her like, who are you touching? Who are you? Did he really? She goes, did you just see what just happened? And I go, no. She goes, I touched his hand. He yanked it away, and he looked at me and furled his brow like, what are you doing? Hey, lady. Keep your mitts off me. Keep your mitts off. He goes, hey, Rebecca. Hey, Becky. Hey, Bex. Why don't you back off? Wow. Why don't you back off a little bit? That kid. Wow. Yeah, he is something, dude. He is something. And I'm at your house a lot, and I play with your kids a lot. That's one I try, and I try, and I'm doing all kinds of bits, and he looks at me like, are you done? Are you done? Oh, but he's just so cute. He's gorgeous. He's absolutely gorgeous. You know, I give him, like, I take his arm and go, and he looks at me like. Yeah, Luke goes, oh, baby bits. They're so cute. Boy, I love this. I'm precocious, aren't I? I'm going to steal your wallet. I'm going to steal your wallet. Don't turn your back. Where's Jamie? Where's Jamie? Where's Mrs. Juggs? Yeah, exactly. M1 Ron from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yes. What do you think?

53:01I think that the parents were wrong. They were upset about their kid doing that cheer. They should have pulled the kid off the team. Yeah, I think that's a good point and a decent point. Instead of just complaining about it, if they felt that convicted about it, they should have taken her off the team. I think that's a great point, dude. I did it with my own kid. She was in some dance class, and they were doing hip-hop, and the music was not appropriate for the age group at all. It was just way too explicit, and I said, we're out of here. Good for you, man. Good for you. I think that's a great point. Thank you for calling, Ron. You bet. M1 Christine from San Diego. What do you think? Yeah, they shouldn't be wearing tight skirts. No. They shouldn't be singing about them either. Yeah. Oh, boy.

54:01Like, they're six years old. Why are they wearing tight skirts? Like, I just, that disturbs me. That's the one that gets me, too, the tight skirt. I'm really adopting a child, really? I know. I'm scared to death. I know. But they don't, the little girls aren't doing it to be provocative. They're doing it because they were told. And yeah, you, I mean, you dance like that. Yeah. You know, there's just so, there's so many things I hear these days that make me scared. And like I just said, on the air to thousands of people, I'm not an uptight guy. I don't have a kid yet. Wait until I get a kid. I'm going to be the most uptight SOB around. If you have a girl. If I have a girl, forget it. And see, I do think it is bad for the little girl for this reason. It tells them this is okay. The reason it tells them this is okay is because an adult told them. Yeah, exactly. And what the parents said, too, is they haven't even told her yet because she's going to be so upset that she got kicked off this team and she doesn't know what she did wrong. In fact, she didn't do anything wrong. It's heartbreaking. You got to go to your kid and say, hey, listen, we're not pulling you out. You've got voted out. You're six. In the American Idol world we live in, you've been voted off the island. Well, they've got to stress that it's not her. It's not her fault. It's the parents. Well, not fault. Yeah, that's the thing. It's their responsibility that she's now voted off. Yeah, those parents, they just don't like you very much, and you're off the team. But, Mommy, I'm six. I want to be a cheerleader. Yeah, that's not going to happen.

55:27It's awful. And then she's going to look at the other kids and she's going to see that they didn't get off the team because they keep cheering about shaking their booty. And what's that going to tell her as she grows up and she wants to, what's that going to tell her when she grows up and girls are wearing shirts that show off their boobs? And she's like, I don't really want to show my boobs off, but I remember what happened when I like, you know, raged against that machine. I got kicked out. So do I want to get kicked out again? I think I'll just show my boobs. Yeah, just depends on how secure the little girl is. She could be like, cool, I'll play soccer instead. I don't know. Well, it could be the same thing. Soccer girls don't wear the soccer outfits all the time. You want to hang out with your soccer girls out of the soccer field. And they're like, hey, we all think that it's really cool right now to be wearing these new skirts that show just the bottom of your thong.

56:29and we're uniting as the soccer team. We're all doing it because it's cool. And you're the girl, and you're like, I want to show the bottom of my butt. Well, you're always going to face some kind of pressure. You are. That's what I'm saying. It just makes it worse, man. It just makes it worse. M1 Cheesecake from North County? Yeah, how about maybe the cheerleaders tear about the team that's on the field instead of tearing about themselves? Yeah, that's a good point. Great point, man. Such a good point. How about first down, first down? Hold them back, way back. Let's chill about our boobs instead, because we're six. Thanks. That's a great, great point. I like that point. M1 Snurch Dog from Point Loma. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Not too much. I'm wondering, why isn't anyone talking about the parents that organize these youths? You know, someone... must be some sort of a filter and see what these kids are putting together before they put it on for a show, right? There's got to be a coach, like a cheerleading coach, a teacher, and somebody came to those kids and taught them that cheer. You know, that's the person, too, that should be looked at as, hey, what are you, insane? Yeah, exactly, some sort of a PE coach or something. I wonder how old the coach is. Yeah, I mean, what if she's 21? That's completely normal for her.

57:49the world we live in now, right? What if she's 21 years old and she's like, oh, I didn't know. I just teach you a cheer that I know. She's like, I was going to teach him a cheer about the pill, but then I rethought it and I was like, I probably shouldn't. I mean, I think it's a cool cheer, but I won't, you know, fine. I thought of this really clever cheer about this other form of birth control called Depo-Provera, but I'm not going to do that cheer because I'm like, well, the kids don't know what Depo is and so I won't. Yep. So whatever. I wanted to teach them a cheer about beer before liquor, never been sicker. Never been sicker. They probably never had beer. I don't know what it is. Liquor before beer, never fear, L.O.B. That's what's going on in my world. I stopped. I was going to do little Lady Gaga meat skirts, and I was like, no, I'm not going to. I'm not going to cross the line. I'm not going to cross the line. I'm not weird. I'm not an idiot. So shake your booties, girls. It's almost first grade. You're almost in first grade. Shake that. Yeah, shake your booty with your tight skirt on. You're going to be a second grader next year. Oh, boy. I hope I have a boy. I hope I have a boy. That's nuts. Please give me a boy. Let's see. What is this? Jay? We've got a great trade on the line for the trade-up for charity. Let's talk to him. Yeah. M1 Marcos from Solana Beach. What we have right now is a surfboard, a 9-6 gun.

59:13$500 value. What do you want to trade for it? This is Marcus from Surfride Board Shops. Oh, cool. Yeah. Good sponsor. We want to take your 9-6, and we want to trade you for a brand-new, custom-shaped Steve Boys and surfboard. Oh, my. Wow. Oh, my. A new Quicksilver wetsuit, and whoever trades for this, if they need some surf lessons, we'll throw those in. Wow! Wow! That is... Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. That is rad. That is rad. Okay, I'm going to put you on hold. Hang on, okay? Oh, yeah. We just wanted to say this is all about $1,000. We're doing this because we believe in what Children's Hospital is doing. And Steve Boyd is a surfer. He doesn't know we're donating one of his boards because he's been down at the hospital every day with his 11-year-old son, Dash.

1:00:11He's got a cancerous face tumor, and, you know, we're hoping Steve Gash is listening. And, you know, we just want him to know that here at Surf Ride, we support everything the Night for Night is doing and everything Children's Hospital is doing. Thank you, dude. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. We appreciate that. He's got goosebumps. I just got teary-eyed. Hang on, okay? No problem. Oh, this is great. That's so freaking cool. My arm is standing there. I know. So we're doing this for Rady Children's Hospital. And Friday it'll end. So, Jay, if you can, just write all those things down for me. And then I'll let people know as we go on through the morning what that because that was a lot of cool stuff. That is the bomb. So we'll name all that stuff off. And if somebody wants to call in and trade for all that, you got something worth more than a thousand bucks. Oh, gosh, that's great. Oh, man, that just made my day. Really, really good. Jimmy Johnson. former coach of the Cowboys, is on Survivor Nicaragua. And this is what he had to say. Zero sleep, sick throwing up, ants and mosquitoes biting me everywhere, and cold and shiver until the sun came up. I don't think I've ever had a 24-hour period where I was in that much discomfort and that miserable. I've watched every second of Survivor. I never imagined.

1:01:38anywhere close that it was this difficult. Yeah, you thought it would be like the Grand Wailea. It's the first time I've ever experienced anything like this, and it's an eye-opener. I would never do it, ever in a million years. I think those people that could do it are nuts, but not only nuts, but brave and all of it. That's so crazy. L.O.B., I bet you could do it. A survivor? Yes. I could do it. Could you or no? Yeah, I could do it. You deal with the ants and the sleeping in cold and pooping in a hole and all that. Yeah, but I mean, I told a joke in my stand-up the other night about this. Like, they're in Nicaragua where people are already surviving, so. Yeah. I mean, people are doing it. Yeah, but I think that they're doing it in the jungle, the people on Survivor. Yeah, they are, they are. They're not doing it on, you know, Gancion Street. I know. They're doing it as a bit. Well, they're doing it in the jungle. A lot of people in Nicaragua live in houses. And they're not going to, the producers aren't going to let them die. You know what's funny? It was on last night in my home. My wife had it on. And I sat down and, you know what I said? I go, I can't believe people still watch this show. I just can't believe it. There has been so many seasons. I love that show. You love it? You watch it every year. I've never watched a single episode. I'm blown away. I watched two seconds. I go, I can't, I'm flabbergasted. The only reason that you don't.

1:03:01And the only reason that I don't, because I don't watch it. But if I watched two episodes, I would be invested in the people. Yeah, you would. You get to know them. I'll bet you $100. I don't like reality shows. That's my deal. He would do it just to spite you, Mikey. No, I think I could trust you to be honest with me and say... I think you would. I think you would go... They got me. I want to see what's going on next week. I guess there's none of those people. I guess they've never had anybody on there that really captivated me. But have you ever really given it a shot? Yeah, when it first came out, I watched it, and I go, wow, this is terrible. You watched one show? I watched maybe three, four episodes of the first season. Really? I was like, this is just lame, man. I love it for the challenges. The challenges are cool. Here's the deal. When I was a little kid, I used to love Double Dare because it was trivia and challenges. And I would sit in front of my TV and go, I would slay on the show. I would kill it. And I never got that chance. Double Dare? Double Dare. I was like, oh, I would kill it. And now I watch these and I'm like, the challenge part is cool, but it's the scheming and the, when they, what do they call it? Alliances. I'm just like, really? There's a lot that goes, I've never seen a full episode of it, but there's a whole lot. I've sent my tape in twice. Have you really? Never gotten picked. Oh my gosh.

1:04:21You should, Jay. Jay, I could do the tape with you, and I'll get you picked. Oh, let's do it. How? I'll do the tape. My tape was not good when I put it together, obviously, but you get Steve-O to do it, your brother. Well, not just that. You have to be something that the producers that watch the tape think, oh, this guy's going to make great television. And I bet if I know Jay, what Jay did is he showcased some pretty awesome ability. Yeah. and maybe made it kind of cute and stuff, but he's got to show them that he's good TV. The opening scene shows me, and it's just like my face, and then the camera zooms out, and I'm a thousand feet up on this climb. I'm upside down, and it shows me all roped in. Yeah, now see, that definitely looks cool, and he showed them that he would have the ability to be able to be in that environment, and not only be in the environment, excel physically. What he's got to show them, though, is... What's going to get people to tune in every Thursday? The fight. Because he's a nut. The fight between him and Woods. To see Jay. They want to see Jay. Yeah. Some more, Jimmy. First of all, the reason why I'm here is I'm here for the adventure. Because there's no way in the world a jury's going to give me a million bucks. I know that. But the thing that I can do, I can help somebody win a million bucks. And the winner can come from one of you guys.

1:05:50Nothing would make me happier than to see one of you win a million bucks. And I'll help you all the way. I promise you. How about them Cowboys? That's right. I will give you the O.J. Simpson thing next. And the Incorporator is back next as well. All right, so here's what I want you to do. I want you to call me right now, 570-1949, and you're going to give me words for the Incorporator. You're going to give me words for the Incorporator. And the words need to be things like advocate or green or chihuahua or, you know, something like that. Think of good nouns. And then he's got to work those into a sentence when we call. Who are we going to be calling, Jay? It's a mechanic shop. Okay. All right. So you'll love this. You never heard the Incorporated. We'll do it next. Hang on. I'm trying to scarf down breakfast as fast as I can. Welcome back.

1:07:50Mikey Show. If you've got to be to work at 8, you've got 20 minutes. Hey, I'm going to move over here, pal. Just for this. You are? Yeah. At a level set? Is that going to spin you out? I don't know. I like to turn my back. I like to get focused. You know that. Let me hear you talking it. Hi, Mikey. That sounds good to me. Does it sound good? Like sweet like honey? It's like butter. Like butter. Okay. Spinning me out a little bit. I can deal with it. Rise above, pal. Come on. I got seven words for you. Okay. Is that going to work? That'll be fine. Ease me back in there real good. Oh, boy. Word of the day today is crash. You're listening for the word crash to be worked into a sentence when you hear it. 570-1949. Caller 9 will win a $100 gift certificate to Flemings. And you'll also get to pick his or her sunglasses.

1:08:55So the value is very, very high. Let's see. Oh, OJ. I got to give you this. So listen to what OJ just said. I said earlier, OJ should probably just not talk because he gets himself in trouble. Listen to this. I saw it coming, so I went and got rid of a lot of stuff. So they couldn't get it. kept asking me, what happened to this and what happened to that? I said, I don't know. It came on one day, it was gone. You don't care where it is? No. OJ lied? Weird. Like about money and things of value? Yeah. So Fred Goldman couldn't get it? Yeah, because Fred Goldman was suing him in a civil suit for wrongful death against his son, Ron. And won. And won. And so OJ's saying there, I hid a lot of stuff. Oh my God. And laughing about it. That's deplorable. He is. Yeah, he was proven in court to be innocent. I know he was. Not in the civil trial. Not in the civil trial. Where are you going to college? Which is ridiculous. What's that? Where do you go to college? Really? USC. Gotta pull that USC card. What are you going to do, man? Not pull the USC card all the time? Yeah. Sorry. Stop producing murderers and criminals. There's been hundreds of thousands of people that have passed through there. Some of them are very law-abiding. I'm sure they are.

1:10:25Look at George Lucas. He went to USC. Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell. Yeah. Fine, upstanding citizen. Absolutely. Mark Sanchez. Really? Reggie Bush. Yeah, Reggie Bush. What? What about him, Maki? Yeah. Mark Sanchez throws like a girl, Maki. You leave Mark Sanchez alone with your daughter? Yeah, would you? Maki. Seems like a nice guy. Oh, yeah. He doesn't have any criminal record as far as I know. Let's see. Hey, Jay, were we able to find that thing or no? I'm ready to roll. Go ahead. I just can't see you because I can't see you. Yeah, let's do it. Wow. It's a long time. The Incorporator is back. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Here he comes. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. No. I'm nervous. Both of you calm down. It's going to be great. It's been so long. It's been a long time.

1:11:51It's not like I'm sitting at home practicing. It's like riding a bike, pal. That's right. You just get right back on. Let's do it. I'm ready. Hopefully a lot of you are going to be hearing the Incorporated for the first time. Woodsy used to do this for fun when he worked at his old job in Dallas. And this is what it is. Woodsy had to leave the room. When he left the room, I took calls from various M1s. And they gave me words. Actually, Woodsy. Is there a way that we can get you, can we get you in my office and turn it down? Because I want to tell the listeners what the words are. Yeah. So make it so that he can't hear you in there. All right. Woodsy is now in my office. All right. So here's the words. M1, and I'm holding a piece of paper up in front of my face so Woods can't see me. M1 Victor called in and he wants the word landscaper. M1 Glide wants the word girth. M1 Babe. Hi, babe. She wants... Hubba hubba. M1 mix wants fruit cocktail. M1 paparazzi dyslexia. M1 dirt nose hair. M1 rooster cantankerous. Okay. Wow. Come on back in. Woods has to use those words in a sentence. We're going to call a mechanic somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. We're going to call a mechanic. The mechanic.

1:13:19Can not hear me, but can hear Woods. Can't hear me, can hear Woods. So I'll feed Woods the words. He's got to use them in a sentence. First word. I always give Woods the first word. The first word is landscaper. Okay. We are calling a mechanic. I'm nervous. We couldn't do it in the old studio because the phones wouldn't work. So this is like top priority for the new studio. Get the phones to work. Yep. Okay, here we go. Dead silence. Can I try it one time? Mikey. Bye, Mike.

1:15:03Mikey, come back. No, no, no. No, no. Hang on. I think I did the wrong number. First time. Landscaper? No, mechanic. No, the first word. Oh, yeah. The first word's landscaper. Mike Zordo. Hey, my name is Steve, and I got a few questions for you, man. I'm a landscaper, and I got a couple trucks that I need to get looked at. Okay, sure. Okay. I'm looking at about a 412 girth on the back of one of them, and are you familiar with that? No. Yeah, 412 girth? All right. Well, it's a landscaper terminology, but we'll worry about that when I bring my trucks in. Hubba-bubba. You there?

1:16:27I'm here. Okay. Yeah, man, I'm going to come down today and bring in both my trucks. Actually, I named my trucks. One of them is named Gertrude. The other one is named Hubba Bubba. And these are like my prized possessions, and landscaping is my life. So what are you looking to have done for the trucks? Well, I need some general service. I need some general service on both of them, tires and things like that. And what I figured, I'd bring my lunch down there, eat my fruit cocktail while you guys worked on my stuff. Dyslexia. Okay. Do y'all have magazines in there? Sure. Okay. I've got dyslexia, so it's probably going to take me a little while to get through them, but I'm going to try. Nose hair. Okay. Okay. That's fine. Do y'all do oil changes and things like that, too? Oh, of course. Okay. Well, I just recently got my nose hair plucked actually yesterday, and, man, I tell you, I've been a mess ever since. Cantankerous.

1:17:28Fast and lean, all the good stuff. All the good stuff. All right. Well, I've been awful cantankerous since I got my nose hair plucked. So I'm telling you, if I come in and I act like a jerk, that's the only reason why. I'm not a problem. Facebook. Apart from the garage. All right. Are y'all on Facebook? Yes, we are. You are. Okay. All right. Well, I'll be down there. I'll be down there later. You got it. All right, buddy. Fantastic. He's back. He's back. Oh, Mike. Let me tell you something. I was so nervous. I was hitting this pound thing. Oh, no. For what? I don't know. That's just how nervous I was. Holy cow. When you were dialing, instead of hitting a number, you were hitting pound. To send it? I don't know. I don't know if I hit that or if I hit the nine twice or what I did.

1:18:30All I know is that my hands were practically shaking. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I missed it so much. You know, it wasn't my best work, but it's going to get better every time. It was great. I love it. I mean, at least we know the phones work and my fat fingers don't. I don't know why all of a sudden I decided to do a Southern accent. I know. I did halfway through. I was like, whoa. What's he doing there? Halfway through. You got all country on it. You got all country. I'll tell you what, boy. I'll tell you what. Just on the fly. That was great. Never know what you might get when you hear the Incorporated. Literally. I thought you were a clown. Yeah, I think what happens is when you hear somebody else doing their accent, all of a sudden you are them. That's what my wife tells me all the time. She goes, oh, I know who you're talking to on the phone. You're talking to Bauman. And I go, how do you know? She goes, because you're talking like Bauman. And then she'll go, oh, is that Kevin on the phone? Because you sound just like Kevin. Oh, really? It's so weird. And you too, Mike. Really? Yeah. She knows if I'm talking to you. That's pretty awesome. I married Magnum P.I. That's right. You do have little languages with people. She's like Magnum. She'll figure you right out. Okay. Christine O'Donnell. That's so boring. What is it? I was going to talk about it, but it's boring, you know? Some of this... Christine O'Donnell won the Republican primary race. Big whoop.

1:19:59I mean, I guess, Big Wolf. Unless you're interested. Here's what she said. The people of Delaware have spoken. Wow, Christine. That's really an awesome thing. That's not the clip that I wanted to play for you. Here she is again. Here we go. I'm very convinced that we can win. Because before all this Republican cannibalism, I was ahead in the polls. And, you know, if we can put this behind us and do some damage repair, then we can turn that two-point lead into a ten-point lead. That's so boring. It is so boring. It is. L.O.B.? I fell asleep. What are you guys talking about? It's true. It's so lame. Mikey Show, hello. Is someone there? Say hello. Captain Buzzkill. There he is. Captain Buzzkill. I don't think that was very funny, Woods. What? It's not very nice to call people because they're from the South and make a fool of them. I'm from the South. Which makes it worse. It's like a black-on-black crime. I think that's a little... You're reaching a little bit. For somebody from the South to make a fool out of somebody from the South, it's like civil unrest. It's not civil unrest. It's just a...

1:21:31Funny thing we used to do at work to abuse ourselves from the boredom of our job. I was just wondering what Rick Jackson, your general manager, is going to think about that when I write him a letter later. He thinks it's funny. He likes it. He loves it. It's one of his favorite bits. I'm sure he doesn't because he's from the South himself. He's also got a sense of humor, though. Right. You should try to pick one of those up, Captain Buzzkill. What do you think that somebody like Leonard Skinner would think of that? Leonard Skinner's not a real person. It's a band. I thought that that was a solo artist, Leonard Skinner. No. That's a band. I don't listen to hardcore rock and roll. That's not hardcore rock and roll. What do you know about the South? You know nothing about the South. I went to high school and I took civics. Yeah, you took civics. You took what? I took civics. Civics. Does that have to do with anything? Why don't you just lay off and do stuff that's more productive? Like what?

1:22:32I bet you would love us to cover the... I would like to hear more about the Republican primary with Christine O'Donnell. I figured you would. You're probably tuning into the wrong station if that's what you want to hear. My antenna's not working right now. I'd be listening to KPBS. You say that, Captain Buzzkill, but you listen to us every single day. Because the 94.9 is the only station I can pick up right now. Yeah, right. It's the only station that Mother's Basement gets with any real clarity. You don't have an iPod? You don't have a TV? I don't have a TV because they use too many plastics when they make the LCD covers. Radio doesn't do that to the environment. I don't like to screw up our environment. Maybe you think of that the next time you go to the grocery store and get more of those plastic bags. I love them. I love them. I wrap them around baby seals. I don't love them, for the record. I love them.

1:23:36Lauren O'Brien is the only one that really cares for our environment. She takes a potato sack to the Henry's. Not exactly. I have to go. My English muffin's ready. Bye, Captain Buskill. Guy has something else. He is. Complains about everything. He listens four hours a day. The whole four-hour show. He listens longer than I do. It's true. It's a joke. It's what I'm here for. I was joking. It's a joke. Don't you not joke when you hear one? Listen, let me tell you what these doctors found inside this patient. Inside of the patient. Still got old-time radio coming up? You know, flute is such an underused instrument in today's rock and roll. You're right. Agreed. Back in the day when the Marshall Tucker Band was popular, it was fluting it. It had a floutist. Jethro Tull. Yeah. Flute was a big play. Yeah, you had to find a floutist. Aqualung. Yeah, exactly. All right, we'll do that next. Don't do it.

1:25:09So, my wife and I yesterday watched Andrew Zimmern, Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. Weird. Is that the guy that created Facebook? Created Facebook? I'm just kidding. What's that guy's name? Al Zuckerberg. Al Gore? What is she talking about? I don't know. Endometriosis? What was that? I was trying to make a joke. I don't know. Zuckerberg. Jeff Zuckerberg. Jeff? He created Facebook. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. All right. It's all right. So we're watching it. And it's a new thing for me. Wait. Question. Were you watching it and she was like folding clothes in the same room? Or was she sitting next to you on the couch? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I was watching it in bed. Nude. Nude. No. Boxered.

1:26:03Boxer Briefs. She's wearing a laptop. Boxer Briefs with my girdle on. I have to wear an abdominal binder. But I'm all woman. Post-op. Right, post-op. And you know, Rebecca, she doesn't like any food. Right. But she's fascinated with that show. And she'll watch it just to make her sick. Oh my gosh. She will. What? She'll watch it just to gross her out. She'll watch it. I think she gets a cheap thrill. Kind of like the girls that waxed our nose hair yesterday that were looking at the... At the hair that they pulled out. The hairy wax. Yeah. Well, I tape all the episodes, and so I go through and I try to find the filthiest place that he would eat. That's what I do, and I work my way back. Like, I want to see the filthiest ones first, and then I work my way back to, like, eh, it's probably not that bad, you know? So I'll start with, like, Laos, and then I'll eventually end up in Canada. And see like the grossest that Canada has to offer. Now this, the premise of the show for people that like girls, what is it exactly? He goes to different places and eats the indigenous food of their culture. The worst they have to offer. Fair enough. So I wanted to see the Philippines. Dang it. Oh man, dude. And I, you know, I thought, cause I'm pretty adventurous, I think.

1:27:32I think I'll be adventurous with food. Oh, okay. With food, I was going to say. Yeah, I'm not climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I was going to say. That would be Jay. But he ate balut. Oof. Coming in? Balut. Balut. Is a duck egg embryo. They take a duck egg and they steam it. Okay? And it becomes hard boiled. And then they crack it open. and they put a little salt, and they put a little vinegar on it. How's it any different from a chicken egg? Well, because this one, L.O.B., has begun to form into a duck. L.O.B.'s face right now. Every muscle in L.O.B.'s face just worked. She went from looking at me like, oh, you're a friend of mine. We work together. You're a co-worker.

1:28:28To, oh my goodness, this is, how could you? How could you? I wish I had a tape recorder of my wife when she realized what it was. Did she retch? What did she do? No. She went, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Brilliant. And I went and I go, this is what I always say. I always say the same word. I always go, wait. Wait. Because I know it's going to get worse. You're a little bit of a sadist. Oh, I am. I am. I am. I am. Feathers and beaks. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. It seems like they're just about to hatch. And there's just little pieces of egg around them. Yes. Yes. Yes. I eat my chicken. Love my chicken. I gots to have my chicken. Put nothing above my chicken. Put nothing above my chicken. And so he. Feathers? Everything. Beak. L-O-B. Beak. I had to pill 12 of these because we did this contest where you had to eat them. And they. are so rancid. I was retching when I was just peeling them. And each of them were a little bit different how far along they were. It was foul. Wow. So then he goes, get it, get it. So he goes to multiple places. Now, most of the time, dude is just eating street vendor food. Because what he does when he arrives is he asks the people that live there, where's the best place to get this? And they tell him, here's the best place.

1:30:00Where's the best place to get the worst thing that you have? Where's the best of the worst? That's filthy. I would drink a cup of my own dip spit before I would eat that. I'm not kidding. I would eat food off the floor of a stripper bathroom. Before you would eat that? I'd do that anyway. Strip club bathroom. Not the strippers. Would you eat a bologna sandwich minus the bread? Or? Or? Balut. Bologna. The bologna. Oh, gosh, yeah. I think I would, too. You would feast on bologna like it was rice cake. But it was just the bologna. But it's off a stripper floor bathroom. Done. Done. I don't know. I would eat the bologna. Let's go to a strip club today and put some bologna down, and I'll do it. I'll do it for free. You pay my cover, I'll do it. And you're being inappropriate. So, if you have a queasy stomach, this next one's going to be rough for you. Oh, gosh. Okay?

1:31:02I'm telling you that now. Is it worse than a ball full of wax with nose hair sticking out of it? Yes. Oh, wow. He went to visit a Maasai tribe in Africa. L-O-B. I actually thought in my head as I watched it. L-O-B. L-O-B. I should get black. Like my man. So he goes there. And what they do is they have a horn that's been hollowed out. And they take it to a cow. And they have a very, very sharp instrument. The cow doesn't feel it. And they puncture the cow, and the cow's blood will pour into the horn. And then they patch the cow up. The cow didn't know anything happened. You could tell. It doesn't move. It's fine. And they have to take a stick, and they have to put the stick inside the horn. And they have to, with the stick, they have to go. Like churning butter. They have to just up and down inside the horn. Right.

1:32:13And that's so that it, so that it, yeah, so it won't coagulate. Say, so to what? So it won't coagulate. Coagulate? So it won't stab over. Yeah, so it won't coagulate. You know, it won't bunch up. And they take the stick out, okay? And it's coagulated around the stick, but the blood in the horn is ready to go, okay? Is my office door shut, Jay? Yes, sir. Can you hear some chitter-chatter? I still can. Just a tiny bit. It's not bad. It's not bad. So anyway, so they take that stick, right? Takes that stick. And the kids, well, they fight for that stick. They want that stick. So one lucky kid gets the stick, and just like a popsicle, he goes... Off the end of the stick. So he takes a horn. And they're all passing the horn around. Okay? And Andrew Zimmern says, you first. And like he's drinking an Arnold Palmer, this guy goes... And he hands it to Andrew Zimmern. And Andrew Zimmern is like... And he drinks it. And he goes, you know, it's actually not that bad. Oh, my gosh. It's quite minerally. Oh, God. But it's actually not that bad. And so. Did he have it like in the corners of his mouth? No. No, no, no, no. But he did. He did pour a bit too fast. And it went on his button down polo blue. No. Button down shirt that he was wearing. Tucked into khakis, which is not what they were wearing. No.

1:33:50So they milked a cow into another horn, and then they poured the two together. Milk and blood? Uh-huh. Ew. Makes your vampire teeth strong. That's very true. That is 100% true. And so he drinks that. And they said to him, they said, now you probably won't have to eat again today. It's very filling. And he said, yeah, it is. I noticed that. So they said, all right, one last thing. The next day, they go into their mud huts. And when they go in, it's very dark, and they even say, your eyes will have to take a second to adjust. to being inside the mud hut. Inside the mud hut, in the center of the mud hut, they've got a little oven that's got a chimney that goes right out of the top of the mud hut. Now, only, only when they have a dignitary staying with them do they offer this next meal. Oh, boy. This is meant for guests only. You do not give something like this to a family member or a kid because to do so would be wasting it. And what that is is a horn.

1:34:54That has three-month-old milk in it. A delicacy. And porridge. Okay. And so they give him a little white tin cup and they take the horn and they go into the white cup. And he says, do I drink it? And the Maasai guy goes, drink, eat, drink, eat. And he does. Wow. Oh, gosh. And he chews. Chews? He chews. It's like yogurt. Is it like yogurt? My yogurt has cherries and strawberries and blueberries in it. I mean, I'm telling you. That is foul. I can't get enough of the show. It's called Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. M1 Jennifer from San Marcos. Are you there, Jennifer? Yeah, I'm here. Oh, there you go. I always keep boiled eggs in the fridge for the kids. Like a healthy snack, you know.

1:36:06Oh my gosh. Never again. Never again. I never eat boiled eggs. And I don't know what my luck is, but I swear every couple, you know, dozen eggs I buy, I get a dead chicken. What? Oh my gosh. Are you like a witch doctor? I like have the worst luck in the world with eggs. How does it, how does, how? I will never just bite into one again. Never, ever. I'm not going to say what store I bought it from, but it's a regular chain and I just told them, look, this brand of egg, it's like I keep getting this. Little poor chicken. I don't even know that I can eat eggs again now. Seriously. She's definitely given me pause. Jennifer, you have definitely given me pause. And I eat me some eggs. Every morning with the hard-boiled eggs. Wow. No, I never eat it. And then I made the mistake of telling my kids. I have a 14 and 12-year-old. Well, I'm a 2-year-old. And the 14-year-old now loves to bite into an egg and go...

1:37:34And, you know, I go running to the bathroom. He's doing bits. He's doing bits. A little woods. He's doing a little woods. Hey, Mom. Let me ask. Thank you for the call. Let me ask if anybody knows the answer to this. Jake yesterday drank milk that was bad. Oh, boy. And I said to Rebecca, oh, man, I hope he doesn't stop drinking milk because of it because he got so sick. But, Rebecca, we have a little mini fridge upstairs. And she keeps the cartons in there. And it was next to the little freezer area and it froze solid. And so she took it out and thawed it out in the sink. And when it got thawed enough, she shook it. The date's still normal and everything. But what she was wondering is, I wonder if it goes bad when you freeze it and thaw it. I don't know. But he got sick. Like he was nauseous? Yeah, he got sick. It was spoiled. Oh. I guess it tasted bad when he first tried it, or did he drink the whole thing? I don't know, because all I heard was the crying. Oh, man. And I was crying, and I was upstairs, and I was like, man, he must have fell down or something. And it was real intense. And I go downstairs, and I see the after. It was all clean. Everything was clean, but she told me. I said, yeah, I guess, because he was going for it. Yeah, fresh only.

1:38:58M1 Gordon Bombay is on the line from this building. He's calling from the Booz Allen Hamilton building. You know Mike Booz? Yeah. I don't personally know. I'm sorry. You do not. He doesn't know. He's an idiot anyway. You don't know that. Well, he's friends with my dad. He's friends with your dad. He's not, though. He's a great guy. He owns his own building. That's what she says. Sabrina says that. Yeah. My dad owns Ritz-Carlton, so. Yeah. Steve Ritz. Steve Ritz. Yeah. That's Sabrina Ritz. She's our weather girl. That's right. Is she? Yeah. She wears very trendy clothes. Very fancy. Very fancy, very expensive clothing. Yeah, you could say that. And you go to UCLA. I do. I'm taking this semester off, though. Why? Because I don't feel like it. I don't feel like going to school. What's up with that guy on the phone? He sounds hot. Yeah, this is Gordon Bombay. Are you there, Gordon Bombay? Yeah, I'm still here. What were you calling to say? I was going to tell you guys. I didn't watch that episode where you're talking about the cow and the blood and everything, but about 10 years ago, I went on a family vacation with my folks to Kenya, and we got taken out to a Masai Mara tribe.

1:40:13And they did the same thing, but it was with a goat. And I don't know what kind of tool that they used, but it was not sharp enough. And the way that they were doing it, if you cruise down a toy aisle in a grocery store and you bought a little play toy bow and arrow, but you turned that into actual wood and string, they were basically using a bow and arrow with a dull arrowhead on this arrow to stab the jugular of the goat. repeatedly. Like, this is normal. This is every day. Did you try it? No, no. I like living, and yeah, it didn't really feel like dying. There's no goat blood for you. Yeah, they're like handing it to us. They're like, here, yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah, no, get it. Sounds great, but I'll come at you in rough talking. Thank you very much, Gordon Bombay. Let's see. That's foul. That's a nice name, Gordon Bombay. Gordon Bombay. M1 Virgin Nikki from Escondido, she's going to give birth herself any time within the next couple of weeks. How you doing? Good. Good. Okay, so that milk wasn't bad or spoiled. I didn't think so. And the reason I know that is because, and not to, I mean, I'm probably not going to gross you guys out anymore than you're already getting grossed out. When you store breast milk, you have to freeze it. Yeah. And when you, and it doesn't, breast milk doesn't have a smell when it's, you know, you first pump it out.

1:41:39Well, Woods just put his head back and closed his eyes, and that's what I'm doing internally right now. Okay, I'm sorry. So then when you freeze it, and then you thaw it, and then you serve it, it has a funny smell to it. Okay, okay. And I remember asking my doctor, and I said, does that mean it's bad? And he said, no, if you do that with any kind of milk, it's going to have that, but it doesn't mean it's rotten. It's just like the process of freezing something that's dairy, and then... sawing it. I hate milk so much. I hate milk. I hate milk. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Nikki, I feel you. I hate milk. I'm the only grown-up in this room right now. I know. For sure. I hate milk. I hate milk. Thank you, Nikki. I hate milk. Emma Nick from Dana Point says, you cannot freeze milk. No, you cannot. Why? Well, I used to work at Costco back in the day, and I worked in the refrigerator department, and They gave us a special extra class that you had to really take, and milk could only sit outside the refrigerator for so long and it has to stay at a certain temperature. And if it freezes or gets warm, it only has a period of an hour it can stay out. Maybe breast milk's different. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Thank you for the call. No problem. That's filthy. What? Milk.

1:43:03It's filthy. It's filthy. It's filthy. It coagulates. If you leave it in there, it coagulates into yogurt and cheese. It curdles. I wonder who the first guy that ever said, this looks good. This looks like cheese. I think I'm going to eat this. Two words killed milk for me. Cow mucus. What is that? That's what it is. It's like a mucus. When it comes out, it's so thick. It's thicker than when you get it because they pasteurize it and do all kinds of stuff to it. But it's meant for the calf to drink. It's meant for the calf, yeah. It's not like snot. No. Let me say this. Say whatever you want. There's some people in their car right now going, different variety of show today. But you say what you want about milk. I want you to imagine smelling and looking at a nice, fresh, warm brownie right out of the oven. Does nothing for me. Pour me a glass. No. Of nice milk. Pour me an ice cold Coca-Cola, dude. Right there with it. Yeah. I don't drink milk. A brownie with a Coca-Cola? Absolutely. You know the last time I had a glass of milk? 25 years. Jonathan Lipnicki just called from 1984 and went, that's so childish. 25 years since I had a glass of milk. Usually we get you some milk right now. How about you have some rice milk or some almond milk or coconut milk? My dad used to make me.

1:44:31make me drink a glass. And I would do this. I'd hold my nose like that. And then, you know, my bit. I'd be like, running around the house. Overdoing it real dramatic. Old time radio coming up. Movie plot hot potato coming up. Oh yeah, so much cool stuff. Don't go away. Speaking of Sienna, we should be seeing her and little baby Sage pretty soon. Haven't seen Sienna in a little bit. Last time I saw her, she was laying in the hospital bed. That is a little baby. Getting ready to leave the hospital when I saw her. That baby's cute. Oh, she is beautiful. Real cute. We saw a picture of her with her grandmother yesterday. I know. Sienna said she's not granny's favorite anymore. But I find that hard to believe. Come here, dear. I'm going to give you $1,000. That's right. Come over here, Waverly. I've got a piece of toast. Sienna, look at this. I found a gold cougar on worth a million dollars.

1:45:48At any auction. What about me, Granny? Oh, hi, Waverly. Hi, Granny. I've got some nuts and bolts I found in the garage. That's not really fair. What's not fair about me? You give Sienna a million-dollar Krugerrand and I only get nuts and bolts. Stop with your whining. Endless whining. Since childhood, really? Endless whining. I am so glad Sienna never whined this way. You should try to take after Sienna if you could. Fine, Grandma. Sienna. Yes? I think it's wonderful the way that you are. Thank you, Granny. I love you. Waverly? Yes? Take after Sienna if you could. Fine! Sienna. What? I love the sound of your voice. It's so beautiful. It's much like yours, Granny. Waverly? Yes? I wish that you sounded more like Sienna. I thought I sounded exactly like her. No, hers is much more beautiful. Listen to the difference. Sienna? Yes? It's gorgeous, isn't it?

1:46:45I just love to hear you speak. Say the ABCs. A-B-C-D-E. That's enough. Wonderful. Now you wave. A-B-C-D-E. Stop it. She had pissy. That's the is, really. Oh, boy. Oh, man. That was a funny bit. She had said that her grandmother just, she knows she's her grandmother's favorite. Yeah. And one time she gave Sienna a hundred dollar bill. And Waverly walks into the room and goes, what about me? And she goes, oh, reaches into her purse, gives her a dollar. One. One dollar bill. One dollar. I have a decrepit old turd from 1969, if you like. It's petrified now. It's almost a fossil. Oh, boy. I'll put it in this bag of old hair clippings I found. She's rummaging through a big bin. Would you like a watering can? How about a funnel? Would you like a funnel, dear? It's your granddad's old dipstick I found in the garage. There's a jar of Vaseline from 1947. Sienna, here's my Vera Wang priceless gown from 1922 that I was married in.

1:48:11Like it to stay in the family. Unless, of course, you'd like to take it to Christie's and auction it for $4.9 million. Since it contains real rubies. One of the greatest stories I have ever heard. Fine, Waverly. Here's some grandma panties from 1934. Yes, I wore them. Yes, I did. You may have them, but I need them back. How about some of this? Speaking of the old times, we'll now transport you back into old time radio. That's right. Back to a time when life was easy and simple. Even right here in San Diego, you could have turned on the AM radio at any given time and heard something like this. But it's time now for... Johnny Dollar. Vic Carson, Johnny. State Unity Life. Oh, what's on your mind, Vic? Got a job for you if you're interested. I just received a report from...

1:49:14Why does no one talk like that anymore? I don't know. It drives me nuts. Yes, we do. We bring it back. We bring it back. Let's bring it back. How are you, Woods? I'm great, Mike. How are you? Good. Good to see you. Great to see you, too, pal. Hey, what do you say after lunch we go down to the beach and get a surf in? I'm not having lunch with you today. I'm having lunch with my wife. I understand. Well, perhaps later in the day we can get together for a late breakfast, a late lunch, and a late dinner. We'll catch up all three at once. Perhaps not, and I'm not going to go see Inception with you either. Tarn it. Is there anything I can do to change your mind forthwith? $5,000. $5,000 in cash? Cash. Here you are. Venice. Oh, I love it. Isn't that where Hulk Hogan used to work out? Venice, California, Johnny. Quit being a D. Don't be an idiot, Artisan. Okay, what is it? Murder. Bernard Slade, age 56, Penny Arcade operator in Ocean Park. That's right. Right next door to Venice. Go on. He sounds so enthralled. Yeah, he does. Right next door to Venice. Yeah. Great. Found in living quarters at the rear of an arcade in the amusement zone, Killer Unknown. And? Barney Slade must have been quite a... As opposed to the other killers, which are all known. Who did Barney slay? Yeah. Who did Barney slay? Right here. Barney slayed me. He slayed you, did he? Oh, yes. You're quite a hussy, aren't you? Quite delightful. The police found his apartment plastered with photographs of the movie Greats.

1:50:37Silent screen vintage, that is. At least it does. That guy sounds like he's reading from a piece of paper. Because he was. They found him at the apartment and he had silent screen grates on his wall. Can we start adding the words that is after we say things? So I'll be like, L.O.B., do you want to have lunch later today? The Cheesecake Factory, that is. I would love to. In fact, I don't know how to add that is. You say it. You say it after anything specific. Hey, Woods, can I have that highlighter? The blue one, that is. Genius. You can't really, you can't respond. You can, but it has to be something specific. So you ask me or tell me something and you just want to put that fine point on it to make sure I know what it is. Yes, I would love to, that is. That doesn't work. You would do this. You would say, you're going to be looking for Mikey. He's the brown one, that is. Yeah, you're being specific. I'm going to get the grilled chicken, that is. That doesn't work. All right. I'll have a salad. Caesar salad. There you go. Perfect. I did it. You did it. Oh, I love it. A real queen in our day. Yeah, the vamp type, I know. Real queen. Talking about Clay Aiken or what are we doing?

1:52:00Oh, it's just a vague recollection, you understand. Yeah. Well, the police also reported that somebody, the killer probably, had drawn a big question mark in red crayon over each of Mavis Gale's photographs. We're looking for a toddler, then. Toddler? Perpetrator must be four years old. He's writing a crayon. Interesting. If it means anything. We think it does, Johnny. Especially since Mavis Gale is named as the beneficiary in Bernard Slate's... Mavis Gale. Especially since every woman is named Mavis. Mavis. Bernard. Yeah. Might be hard to find her. Everyone's named Mavis in that building. Insurance policy. Tonight, and every weekday night, Bob Bailey and the transcribed adventures of the band... Transcribed is the key word there. Yeah. Because they're reading. I would have listened to this. Mm-hmm. Would you? Oh, yeah. Yeah, no choice. The Office wasn't on yet. I want to know how it unfolds. Mm-hmm. Fence account. America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator. It's truly Johnny Dollar. Hey, Johnny, stop interrupting. It's a story of an insurance investigator. You're in on that? I think that used to be the, uh, that was the plot line of, uh, Banachek. Show Sean used to like. Oh, great. It's perfect. It probably was. I miss that guy. Hang on a second. I just want to take a second to remember Shawnee. Yeah, please.

1:53:27Missed Sean. Me too. Never met him. If he missed you guys, maybe he'd be here. What? What? What are you talking about, pal? Expense account submitted by special investigator Johnny Dollar. Apparently still work at Lincoln Financial Media. That's what life is like for us at any given time. Is there anything worse than doing an expense account at this company? Is there anything worse? I would rather... I'd rather wash the windows in the building. I swear. I hate doing that. I feel like the coyote and the roadrunner punching into a time card thing. I get so nervous during the expense account. Oh, my God. I'm scared to turn mine in. There's a lot of people listening right now. They're like, what's an expense account? Yeah. The State Unity Life Home Office, Hartford, Connecticut. Following is an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the Silent Queen matter.

1:54:30Let's take a look at my expense account from the Silent Queen matter. Riveting. Four boxes of Maybelline. A couple of mini skirts. Some high heels. A pair of panties. Two pantyhose eggs. One Clay Aiken record. One Adam Lambert record. Expense account item one, $210.65. Plane, cab fare, and incidentals to Ocean Park, California. All that stuff back then, $2.54. Yeah. For all of it, combined. As soon as I checked into my hotel, I got in touch with Homicide. Sergeant McKay, they said, would probably be down at the pier. Did it with two tin cans and a string attached to it. Down at the pier? Calling out cars. The sergeant. Yeah. This one, Vic. It was a beautiful moonlit night at the beach. A warm breeze was blowing in from the Pacific. And besides, it was only a three-minute walk from my hotel to the fun zone. The fun zone. Agordia Ray of Neon and Noah. That's what they called the silent queen. The fun zone. That's what they called F Street adult books back then. The fun zone. I wonder if there is anywhere in America where there are people that still talk that way. Like is there an old couple sitting around in Duluth, Minnesota that still do that? Hello there. Hello. I think that was reserved even for celebrities then.

1:55:56Just celebrities did it? I don't think they talk like that regularly. Like the mechanic wasn't like, ah, that's a graphics. I think that was seen as when you're performing, you use that inflection. It's incredible. I'm glad that we don't, though. I like the natural stuff. Oh, it's funny. Got a few areas we can go here. Man, I got a couple of things. Maybe pull a card. Yeah, let's do that. You want to? Yeah. Which is not on the list. Pull a card. Pull any card. Pick a card, any card. What's the most unusual gift you've received? Besides the camera that my father wrapped up for me for Christmas that was already his? We've done this topic. Have we? Yeah. You told that story before. I mean, that's unusual. And I talked about mine, which was when my brother got me the Sergeant Slaughter WWF video cassette, and I...

1:56:54Didn't watch the WWF. I didn't know about that. And he gave me his pager. I knew about the pager. We talked about recycling old gifts. Recycling old gifts, but not unusual gifts. You can pull another one. Okay. What body part are you most attracted to? Oh, nice. We talked about that. The back. Oh, she likes back. Probably the face, to be honest. We talked about this? Talked about it for a guy. Boobs. I like a booty. Boobs. Mikey. I'm thinking. I know what you're thinking. Maybe breasts. I'm not a boy. Maybe. I mean, I don't know. I'm proud of you. I don't know. I thought you were going to say her brain. I thought you were going to say eyes. It said body part. No. Eyes are a body part. Yeah, I thought you were going to say eyes. Eyes are breasts. Just being honest. It's awesome. It doesn't make me evil. I like mouths and boobs. Mouths and boobs. The only way a mouth makes a difference is if it's wrong. Otherwise, it could be okay.

1:58:03You know, like, if a girl has the pencil-thin lips, that might be an issue. But anything other than that, I think you're fine. And I'm sorry to all the pencil-lipped... And she's all teeth. I shouldn't have said it that way. When you're kissing her. Oh, boy. I like lips, mouth, boobs. Yeah. And butt. So, are you a big Angelina fan, then? What do you think? Not me. 100%. I love her. You know why I don't? So hot. You know why I don't? Because she broke up a marriage. I don't know. No, no, no. I'm talking about the lips. What? You know why I don't like those kind of lips? Why? Because they collect saliva, which stinks. I like it. No, you don't. You don't like stinkiness. Her lips do not stink. I guarantee you. You guarantee it? I guarantee it. I've made out with her before. You think her lips stink? Oh, my gosh. They could. Yeah. You know what they smell like? Beautiful peaches. Not all the time, pal. All the time. Uh-uh. When she wakes up in the morning, saliva is collected on them. Why is there saliva on the lips? She takes her makeup off at night. Don't all girls do that? Yeah. And then in the middle of the night, maybe she licks her lips. Well, she probably does. You're sleeping. You're like...

1:59:18You know, you don't do it with your tongue. You do it with your bottom lip. Are you saying that because they're so big, they're going to be stinkier? Yeah. In the morning? A regular person? In the morning when she wakes up because there's more surface area, there's saliva on there, and you're like, you guys smell... Everyone's breast sinks in the morning. Everybody, but if you have more surface space... You're insane. What does it matter how bad? I'll grant you that. It all stinks. We all have to go brush our teeth before it's acceptable. No. So... I'll pull another card. Yeah. What's the poorest you've ever been? Oh, man. This is good. I stole an egg from my brother. I was starving. That would probably be either college or when I first lived out here when I was just doing those check cashing things and just overdrafting until I was like negative $300 in the bank eating cans of corn. Yeah, I used to eat ravioli and I'd sit and the furniture in my place was a...

2:00:23was a Home Depot orange bucket turned upside down. No way. Big obese Mikey sitting on that. No way. I got my bed was leaned up against a dumpster in college. I took that, used that as a bed. Oh, yeah. There was a mattress that was leaned. Somebody threw it out, and you took it. Yep. L-O-B? Yep. That was poor. Yeah, gypsy. They were moving out, and it was a perfectly good mattress, and I was like, well, just get a plastic cover, it's fine. What's protocol? Do you ask them, or do you just take it? They threw it out, right? They threw it out. I would never do that now because the thought of it disgusts me. Did the thought of it then disgust you? I knew it was disgusting, but I didn't have a choice. It was either that or the floor. I sleep on the floor. I wouldn't sleep on a dumpster mattress. Wouldn't you spray it with Febreze? No, Febreze doesn't do anything. Lysol to kill the germs and then Febreze to make it smell pretty. I didn't do the Lysol.

2:01:20I did Febreze it, and then I put a plastic cover over it. That's it? That's smart. Plastic cover will keep everything in. Do you want to kill stuff off? I didn't think about that. I was in college. Who knows what kind of crazed sex monkeys they could have been. They probably were. Seriously. But a plastic cover and then a soft one, and then my sheets, of course. She was probably right on home on that mattress. Crazed sex monkey. Oh, boy. Want to pull another card? Yeah. This is fun. Who's the quirkiest person in the room? Really? Yeah. We love this. It's me or Lauren. It's you. It's you. Yeah, I think it's you. It's Mikey. Yes. I think it's you. Okay. Example. Ready? We just go to the bathroom together, which is weird, but we are on the air at the same time. We both had to go number one. So we walk into the bathroom and I tell Mikey, listen, I'm picking you up tomorrow for work because we're all going to Vegas tomorrow separately. And I said, what are you going to do about your coffee? And he's like.

2:02:20What? What? Oh, my God. I'm not going to be able to have my coffee because I'm picking him up earlier than he normally comes in, and he's spinning out about it. That's not a good example of quirky. That's quirky. He has to have Starbucks coffee at 4.30 in the morning. That's like OCD or anal. Isn't that quirky? That's quirky. That's a quirk that you have. Quirky is more like... Yeah, give me an example of quirky. Oh, gosh. He has to have a certain type of red pen facing a certain direction. That's OCD. Oh, that's true. Which is quirky. OCD equals quirky. That's what I'm saying. He's got to have it. Quirks. He's got his quirks. The definition that is a quirk. You give me one of my quirks. Now everything I think of is all OCD. I don't know, the fact that you like those weird shows. It's quirky. That's quirky, that you like man versus stuff. Yeah, whenever I tell Woods, hey, I got a new show for you to see, he goes, what is it, man versus what? Yeah, who versus what? You made your own cologne when you went to Hawaii. That's quirky. It smelled like feet. No, it didn't. It smelled like an Indian library. It smelled like old men. It smelled like old man something, and I can't say it on the radio. It smelled like a Turkish handbag. It really did. That's good. It's like an opium den. Opium den. Oh, boy. Let's pull another card. Are we in the air right now? Yep. When's the last time you did something mean to someone? Probably last night.

2:03:52What'd you say to Jamie? I didn't do it to Jamie, but I was a smart-ass when I was playing softball. You played softball last night. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I told you that earlier. Yeah, my game was at 6. Yeah. I'm going to get out. Home by 7.15. What? Oh, my gosh. Quirky. Look. Look at his mitt. Yeah, that's quirky. I can't remember the last time I did it. What did you do? I'm going to slit your throat. Nothing. I'm going to slit your throat back. Nothing. No, what'd you do? Nothing. Please. I didn't do anything. What'd you do? I was mean to this. 7.15. Okay. I was mean to this dude. He tried to tag me out and he didn't tag me out and I gave him a smart ass look like, what's up? That was mean. Like, I was mean. That is mean. Can you remember the last time you did something mean? Probably yesterday when he yelled at me. When I yelled. Probably be it. When I yelled at you. Probably when Mikey yelled at me. What did I yell at you about? I don't know. I don't yell at you. Oh, I know. I got on you about the fact that you lied by omission about going to STP tonight, which got canceled. Lied by omission is such a weak bit. Is it? Isn't it? You tell me every turd you take every day. You didn't tell me you were going to STP. I'm not going to STP. I know, because they canceled. They postponed the show. Well, there you go. Everybody wins. He was going to go to bed all day.

2:05:17And then wake up at 9. And then just not go to sleep. Totally a foolproof plan. 100% foolproof. Mike, I didn't mention it. I forgot. I didn't forget. How come you didn't mention it? Because I knew I'd get yelled at. Yelled at? All right. When was the last time you did something mean? What about you, LLB? I honestly can't remember. Come on. I don't either. Not deliberately. Come on. I really can't. I'm trying to think. Woods, when did I do something mean? You guys in Perfect Town? No. But have I done something mean that you saw? No, not mean. But you would know what you did mean if you did something mean. You know what? Oh, I can tell you. Sometimes I get texts that I'm annoyed with. Me too. And so I answer. That was directed at me. No, I wasn't. I swear. No, no. You know who I'm talking about. And I answer very. Meanly. Prissy. Was it one of mine? No, I don't answer you prissy. No. You're cool. You don't. Like when you text me.

2:06:21You text business, usually. Yeah. Olivia's all business. She's all business. I don't annoy. You don't annoy. And pester. I guess that's what friends do, is they pester each other. That's friends. No, I'm saying, what? So, I will be short in the answer. You're always short, though. I get it. I remembered the mean thing I did. What? Tuesday night at my show, I told a group of people in the audience. To F off. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? I didn't say F off. I said F you guys. No way. Oh my gosh. But you said it? Yeah, I said it. They weren't listening. 95% of them didn't hear me. There was like this little pocket of people in the back of the room that were like. I was like, what do you guys get? A little private party going on back there? She does stand up comedy. F you guys. Oh my gosh. No way. I was like, does anyone listen? One guy raised his hand.

2:07:23LB will get you. That was mean. That's mean. I know. That's mean. Holy crap. But. But. Genius. I'm going to think about it. Oh, I love that box. I love reaching in and grabbing questions. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. I was like, what about it? Maybe I don't do news anymore and we just do the box every day. Are all the M1s okay with that? Yeah. You guys still? News somewhere else. Anybody listening today? Maybe this studio isn't working. Maybe the phones don't work. 570-1949. Call in. Yeah, the phone's been quiet today. Clowns. Come on now. I'm calling you out. Come on. Maybe they think we're clowns. Probably. We are clowns. Maybe right now. I'm on big red floppy shoes. And I'm balancing on a tiny new cycle. You can get paid real well for doing some pretty weird jobs. I'll tell you what they are.

2:08:33Oh, and wait till I tell you why Leanne Rimes says that she cheated. On her husband. Is that new, Alton? No. That's old. That's good. Yeah, isn't that great? When they were like a pretty decent band. When they jammed. They weren't doing art rock like they're doing now. Some people still think they jammed. Do they? You heard the new one? You know which one I liked was the one that they did for the Transformers movie. I don't know. No? Mm-mm. He likes girls. I didn't see the movie. I like girls. I don't like Transformers. You like Megan Fox? I'm now apologizing for not seeing it. Let's see. What was that called? Maybe I spend 80 minutes on it. Where's Sienna? Where is she? Call, Sienna. Are you coming in?

2:10:21Please. I'll call her real quick. She's probably taking a little time to get out of the house. You guys. You guys, shut up. Calm down. My helicopter's broken. Where is that coming from? Jay. Hey, Jay. I got all kind of stuff going on in here. Is that going to be the bit? That's the bit. Yeah. Hey, guys, I'm just, I'm slammed in here. I need dynamic in here, okay? It's producing the number one show in San Diego, guys, so. So, sorry. Didn't make yours wax, so. Maybe you see me. Getting my ears waxed. Passive regression, mind of the suppressant. What is that stupid song called? You're still looking for it? Of course. No, here it is, here it is, here it is. I found it, I found it. Quirky. I really liked In the End. I really thought that was a good song. It's a great song. It pumps me up. Yeah. This makes me want to run through a brick wall.

2:11:49Those dudes have played Wembley Stadium. I know. It's insane. I saw those guys live. Pretty decent. Really? Loud. Loud, loud. They are. Sounds like the crash symbols are right on top of you. Yeah. Like they're right over your head. It really does. Guess who's here. Is she here? Is she here? She's here. Say yes! My mom's here, too. Hi, guys. Are you on the air right now? My password wouldn't work. Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm sorry I stepped on you. It's okay. There she is. Mom. She is so beautiful. How are you? How are you, my dear? She is so beautiful. She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Thanks. I even brought my headphones. I came prepared. Yeah, please. I don't know. Get in here. Okay. Sienna's here.

2:12:49This is surreal. It is awesome. I'm like tripping out. This is great. I started walking in the old building and I was like, wait for the old door. I was like, no, no, no. I know. We're in here now. I didn't even have a headphone. Hi, Anta. Hi. My mom is sick and just, you know. Where is this? I don't know where to plug it in here. I know. We're finding it. We've got to figure it out. It's not sick, contagious. Don't worry about it. Okay. Don't worry. Don't worry. Okay. I'm going to turn your mic on. to have Sienna look at that for the first time ever we're having Sienna I'm in my chair I'm in my chair oh that's so great that is so great and the baby's like sound asleep I'll take her out in a little bit wake her up so how are you feeling gorgeous I feel good. Great now. Very energetic mom. I know. I definitely do not sleep anymore, and I think I'm just getting used to it. This job was good training. This feels good right here. I feel good. I know. Doesn't this feel normal now? I think I would see in his little hat. I keep hearing him. I got a whole new look. I know. You've been gone so long, you miss the newsboy hat. The newsboy hat. See you here. See you here. Extra. Extra. Read all about it. No, it's not cold at all in here.

2:13:57You wimps. It was. I'm telling you, Sienna. It'll come in birth. I'm sweating. Sienna, I'm telling you, it gets so cold in here. Like me, I wear a sweatshirt in here and you know me. I don't ever wear a sweatshirt. I've never seen you in sleeves in my life. Look, look, look. How's the news going? It's the worst thing ever. I really miss you and you need to come back to work. He's pointing at his pile of stories. He gets so stressed out. It's the worst. He gets so stressed. It's stressful. It is. But, you know, you get used to it. You won't have to get used to it. I'll be back. You'll hear him now early in the morning. We'll be in here and we'll be talking. He'll be like, you guys, be quiet. Shut up. I'm like you. I'm like, guys. And I do the teases and I'm like, you guys, shut up. I'm so glad you guys now know. I know. We appreciate CNN so much. It's Chris. Yeah. Oh my gosh, this is so cool in here. Isn't it awesome? Isn't it awesome? Like Chris is in another room and Jay's behind me. I know. Yeah, everything's different. Oh my God, I miss you guys. I know, I know. We miss you too. Come back to work. Come back to work. This just feels good. I love it.

2:14:56Mikey, can we ask her or no? Can we not? No. When am I going to come back? I hear you guys talk about it all the time. I don't know. I mean, I want to come back soon because obviously it sucks sitting at home listening to you guys. I know. But I mean, until I can like start sleeping. You know what? Getting my life back on track. Monday's fine. Monday's fine. Take the weekend. Take the weekend to yourself. Relax. Did you guys just feel an earthquake? No. Oh, I did. Totally. My whole area just. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. That happens a lot on this floor. Well, Sienna's jugs did come back into the room. And they're even bigger now, so it's a problem. But I know. Look at the fun bags on that horse helmet. Thanks for noticing, guys. You're welcome. Real quickly, M1 Lindsay from San Diego. Lindsay, what was the word of the day? The word of the day was crash. That is correct. I got it today. When did you say it? He said the crash symbols are right on top of you. Oh, wow. Very, very well done, Lindsay. Thank you. Thank you so much, Mikey. Thank you. I have to take her out. Hang on. Who's waking up? Is she waking up? She's got a little tiny headband with a flower on it. It's a bow. A little bow. That is so great. She's got the Peg Perego stroller. Oh, my gosh. She's so cute. Oh, my gosh. She is so cute. Little baby Sage. Maybe you'll hear her.

2:16:21She's probably used to our voices. Does she cry a lot? No, she lets out these random screams. Is it getting any... Are the lengths of time that she sleeps getting wider? Seems like they're getting shorter. Shorter? Are they? I don't know. What is she like, Sian? What's her personality? Well, she'll be three weeks on Saturday, so the personality is not showing that much yet. Yeah. But she, I mean, just smiles a lot. Not at me. She doesn't really realize it's me. She'll look at me, but, you know, like, if I smile and make funny faces, she won't really react. Right. But she's, I mean, she's a really good little girl. She is. She's stretching. She's stretching. My neighbors, the ones that are the closest to our house, came over yesterday. They're like, you know, we haven't once heard that baby. So I'm like, oh, yay. That's good.

2:17:10I know they're like little ballerina socks. I love dressing her up. Jamie and I got her something. This is for you. This is for you. Okay. The Stones tongue. What is that? A bottle of wine? Yeah. Thank you. It goes to match this onesie. How do you like that? It's a Rolling Stones onesie. That's the cute. Where did you find that? We got it online. Oh my gosh. Thank you. It's a Rolling Stones onesie with the mouth and the tongue. Look at her. She's waking up. Oh, she's so cute. She's beautiful. You can definitely see me and Todd, I think. Oh, yeah. I was going to ask you that. Do a lot of people tell you, they just say both? Look at those eyes, dude. Oh, my gosh. Look at the eyes. This is so weird that I'm in here right now, and now I have a baby. Yeah. I know. I'm like, Santa's a mom. Look what came out. I know. Oh, she's so cute, man. Hi, pretty. We'll take, do we have a camera? We'll take a bunch of pictures and put them up. Yeah. Yeah, I want to. I tried to dress her as cute as I could. Oh, my God. She's raising her hand. Who loves Uncle Woods? I do. She put it down. Oh, my God. I know. So, yeah, I mean. She is so cute. You hear her? It's really. Is that her? Yeah. Can you say something? She wants a mic down. Get her on the mic. She's like, yo, yo. How much do you want to bet she? Turn this thing up. She's like, hey, hey, Mikey. No, I'm telling you, even in the hospital when she would cry, we were listening to other babies cry.

2:18:33It was like, she was raspier for sure. I know, she's so funny. But yeah, I'm pretty much obsessed. And I had to go to the grocery store the other day the first time leaving her. She just said, Mom, don't tell that story. And I left. I left her with Todd, and Todd's like, it's okay. She was sound asleep. Asleep when I got home, too. But the whole time, I was like, oh, gosh. Oh, gosh, I got to get back. I got to get back. Fine, you don't have to come back to work. No, I'm absolutely coming back to work. Three weeks old, she's got bike time already. I love it. I love it. She'll be three weeks on Saturday. I know, she's getting big, too. She's quite the little eater. She's tall. Yeah. She's definitely a tall girl. How are you feeling? Like, are you feeling better? Like, are you good except for the sleeping? No, there's other lovely things that happen with girls. Oh, man. Takes a little while to recover, but I'm definitely getting better as each day progresses, you know. How's Toddy doing with her?

2:19:34Todd's so good. He's so good. Oh, my God. It's so cool just seeing him come home from work. He has a whole different attitude now when he walks in the door. He's like, where's the baby? And he holds a baby and he's smiling. Usually he's like grumbling about something. That's so cool. I know. Last night he even made dinner, you guys. It was a big deal. What did he make? He made... Real cheese sandwiches. Cereal. Fruity pebbles. He made this stew thing with chicken and potatoes. It was really good. I knew that. I know. So what am I missing? Am I missing anything crazy? We're doing a trade up for charity that ends on Friday. I've been listening to that. That's pretty cool. We are up to $1,000 value. That is so great. Yeah. If anybody has something that they want to trade for our surf ride board shop, what we have is a custom shaped Steve Boysen surfboard. A quick silver wetsuit and surf lessons, $1,000 value. And if you got something that's worth more than a thousand bucks and you want that stuff, you can call us and we'll do it for you. Can I hold her? Yeah, I'm tripping out about washed hands. Well, yeah, I'm thinking that right now, knowing Woods has probably picked his nose or something. Hi, hi. Hold the neck. Yeah, hold the neck. She's really strong, actually. You are beautiful. She's so cute. I'm just like sitting here like, actually, she's been in the room with you guys before.

2:20:54Yeah, she has. I know. That's the weird thing is when you become a mom for the first time, like, you know, all of these things are going to happen. Like the baby's going to come out and, you know, life's going to go on. But everything is so different now. I can't really explain it. Yeah. Just wait. You'll blink and she will be 10 years old. I know. Everyone that has seen her, you know, in the hospital and stuff and sees her now is like, wow, she's so much bigger. She's gorgeous. She's tough. She really is. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's so beautiful. So tiny. Look at her hair too. She's got a lot of hair for a little peanut. I know. It's getting lighter each day. She still has her dad's blue eyes hoping that they stay. I can't hold her because of my... You know, I can't hold the thing over five pounds. I can barely hold five pounds. Jay must be going nuts right now. He wants to hold her. Oh, I want to hold a baby. You absolutely can. She's so beautiful. Jay said he would have another baby, but his wife is done. She doesn't want any more. But he said he would. Yeah, I would. He's got the easy fun part. He'll be a granddaddy soon. Hey, what do you know that I don't know?

2:22:04My mom's in here, grandma, taking pictures of everyone holding the baby. That's so great. I can't wait, man. That, you know, I was worried about it earlier today. Not so much anymore. I can't wait. You know what I did, though? I have to tell you guys, because I literally started to cry. You have to clip her little nails. Oh, no. And I got a tiny bit of her skin the other day, you guys. I thought I was going to die. Oh, yeah. I was like, I'm the worst mom in the world. Hi, I'm the worst mom in the world. My sister said the same thing. Rebecca, too. You're so tiny. And she just let out this one, like, scream. it was done and I felt even worse because she wasn't crying right and so now I just will bite myself because I can control it I can Rebecca did Rebecca bit Jake's fingernails off when that girl comes home late At 16, you're like, do you know what I did? I bit your toenails. That's what I did. I bit your toenails. She'll be giving you some kind of backtalk. You'll go, maybe you remember that I bit your toenails off. Yeah, when you were a little kid because I didn't want to hurt you. I know. I'm like, this is, like, she'll go to the bathroom. It sprayed on me one time. Yeah. Like, I laughed. I was like, oh, you're so cute. Like, don't even care anymore, you know? Yeah, that won't happen to me, but I will really enjoy holding and playing and all the other things. I know. I have so many.

2:23:21stories, I just don't want to be like, and then, and then, all at once. In 15 years, you're going to hear, Mom, don't tell me the toenail story. I don't want to hear the toenail about the toenails again. I can't believe she's not crying or anything. She's just asleep. She's so good. Randomly opening her eyes. Yeah, she's a good girl. Say hi. It's a full-time job, though, ain't it, Sienna? Oh, man. More than a full-time. I think about Rebecca all the time, and I don't know. how she did it with two, and a toddler. I mean, it's just, it's insane. I'm telling you. We had a photographer over, one of my friends the other day, take pictures of her. Yeah. And Rebecca, Mikey's wife, got me a little tiny, tiny bikini, polka dot bikini. And you better believe I put that bikini on her. Did you really? And I had these little baby sunglasses and I put them on her head and like, lied her on a beach towel. I cannot wait. I cannot wait. We sprinkled diamonds around her. You know, this is the normal stuff. Well, they were emeralds. Emeralds. No way, but yeah. Oh, man. be really good, Sienna. You guys should get mashing bikinis to take pictures. Give me like a year and then maybe I'll at least consider it. Creepy Uncle Jay. That's a little creepy. Who is that? That's Jake. Okay, that's what I thought. I was like, where did that come from? I love it. Yeah, we had Jake say that's creepy Uncle Jay. And it is. A bunch of creepers in here. For sure. Well, okay. Well, Sienna, you want to hang out with us so we can do some stuff? Of course. Let's take a couple of calls. This is M1

2:24:45S-Dog from Escondido. What's up? Hey, guys. Hi. Hi, Sienna. Hello. I miss you so much. Oh, I miss all of you guys. It's nuts. Your baby's beautiful. Thank you. Just really, I know you want to come back. We want you back. But, you know, babies, they grow so fast. So just enjoy your time with her. That's what I'm saying. Thank you. Yeah, me and Woods just looked at each other like, maybe you don't say that. Hey, maybe zip your lip, S-Dog. How about that? It's real, though, but I wanted to give you some advice with my kids as far as the nail clipping. I did the same thing with my son. I clipped and cut him. So I started nail file. And that way, you know, like just the little emery boards. I'll feel so funny, like filing away. I know, but you have boyfriend? You have boyfriend. There you go. Thank you so much. My mom actually told me that too when I called her crying. I cut her toe. We have to go to break, but I want to get this on and then we'll take the calls afterwards. Ishmael, are you there?

2:26:02Yes, I am. Ishmael, do you work at SeaWorld? No, I'm a refrigeration technician out here, so we monitor the water temp for the whales and the penguins. Got it. What was your question? This is my question, and this is kind of a question for Woods and Lauren. But, Sienna, congrats. Thank you. Had to throw that out there. This is my question. I'll keep it real brief. I knew a girl in high school that I dated just for a little bit, but the reason why I dated her was because she was just, I don't know, she was a bit persistent. So, you know, years passed, and obviously I'm five years out of high school, but she definitely blossomed since. So what had happened is we met up, you know, we went to like a Starbucks, and we had a good conversation. It was one of those conversations that, I mean, you're there until the place closes. and I asked her on kind of like a second date. We're supposed to go kayaking to La Jolla, and she kind of just postponed it. So I have a few girlfriends, and I asked them, and they're like, well, if she really would have wanted to go, she would have tried her best to make herself available. I guess my question is, should I be persistent? Because I know some girls are like, oh, he won me over with him being persistent, but I've never been the type, so I guess.

2:27:25How persistent is too persistent? Well, I know back in the day, women really used to appreciate persistence. Not so much anymore. Now you're a creep. Yeah, now you're a stalker. Now you're a stalker. You're a creep. I don't know, man. LLB? As a single woman? It just depends. I mean, I do think that if she really wanted to go, she would have made herself available to go. But what if she was busy? Yeah. What reason did she give you? You know what? I didn't ask because I've never been the type to be really. I mean, I've never been confrontational or anything. You asked her, you said, let's hang out, and she said, I can't? No, I said, hey, let's hang out. And then she, like, we're supposed to go with another couple just to, I guess, make it a little less awkward. Not that it was awkward at the beginning at all. But, you know, I guess that couple couldn't go. And then later on, I kind of got the vibe from her that she wasn't too interested. So I've never been the type to push. kind of wrote it out and took it for what it was worth. I got to nail you down on this one. Did she flat out cancel with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just postponed it. She said, hey, how did she do that? Can you try to recreate that as best you can? Yeah, my text was, she replied, I sent her the text and I was like, hey, you still want to go? I know that the other couple isn't able to go. And yeah, it took her about two hours to text me back.

2:28:54You know, it's pretty much like, no, you know, would I be able to, would we be able to do it on Saturday? So I kind of made an excuse for her so it wouldn't be awkward. I said, yeah, you know, it is going to be cloudy this week. And it wasn't cloudy at all. Well, see, that changes things for me a little bit because if she didn't want to, she wouldn't have given you a specific day that maybe you could do it again. Yeah. And I say this warrants a phone call. You're going to lose a lot through text. Just give her a call. Okay. And ask her to do something else. See what kind of vibe you get. You got it. Good luck. Sienna's hanging out with us. I love it. I love it. Feels good. Here, maybe do some news. We'll be right back. Welcome back. Sienna's hanging out with us in the studio, which is great. Love this. This feels like home. I know. Feels normal. Feels normal. Yay!

2:30:33Sorry, I won't be back tomorrow. But I love you. Monday. We'll make it on Monday. It's going to be cool when we know. At some point, she'll be like, hey, two weeks from today or whatever. Yeah. And then we'll have something to shoot for. What you should do is you should probably start practicing the news and stuff again in case you forgot what you were doing. Okay. And I'll just swing by and pick it up on the way to work. Just throw it in the mailbox. You should see him. I'm so sorry that you have to do this one. He gets so stressed. I'm such a... Baby. I'm such a... Mikey will call me in the afternoon. He's like, what are you doing? I didn't hear from you. I'm like, oh, Price, I'm doing nine jobs. Maybe that's why he didn't hear from me because I'm working for 15 hours a day. I remember a time a few months ago when I was doing the news and I said, oh, it takes a few hours. And you're like, well, I don't mean to be a jerk or anything, Santa. I know. Why does it take you so long? And I was like, oh, really? Oh, really? You're going to go like that? Are you? I think it's a good exercise. You're crazy. We should all do each other's jobs except we should.

2:31:33be the host. We switch it up. Except for you. No, we should try that. Oh my God. That would be the worst. We all switch it up. You gotta run everything. No way! That'd be the worst. Sounds real good to me. I'll host, for sure. Yeah, Sienna could do it. Yeah, I'll do new. I'll be like, hey. So, Meg Whitman. That's right. I love it. Meg Kelby do sports. Oh yeah. I like black guys. So Leanne Rimes, if you don't know who Leanne Rimes is, she's now 28. But when she first started out, she was a kid and sang country music. And she was really good. Well, she grows up, she gets married to this guy named Dean Sheremet and cheats on him. They break up. And now she's coming out, she's talking about why she's explaining the whys to the cheating. She says the reason that she cheated... and she's not proud of the way that it ended, is because apparently relationships are very difficult. Wow, really? And she says that although she recognizes that it was the most selfish thing that she could possibly do, she also points out that she did get married young, and the reason for the split was because it wasn't a fulfilling marriage.

2:32:59And that as they got older, they grew apart. Maybe you don't marry your backup dancer. That's a good idea. That could be part of it. That's a good idea. But listen, everybody is going to go through ebbs and flows in their marriage. My wife just turned vegetarian. Yeah. My wife hates me some days. Trust me. My wife likes me some days. No, I mean, everybody, all of us can be a pain. Right? Yeah. But you got to just, you know, that's why I asked my, every year I asked my mom and dad, same question. How'd you do it? They were together 54 years back in August. And I, how do you do it? And they said, we just didn't split up. I love that, man. I love that. It's like, uh, like the line of, uh, some movie I sent, the guy said, you know, when an alcoholic asked me how to stop drinking, I told him to stop drinking. Yeah. You know, how do I get better? Stop drinking. You know, and that's the thing. Stay married. Yeah. And you didn't make a vow. And it's the same thing with that guy, the drinks. The question will be, well, are you going to want a drink? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Ask my mom and dad. I say, you guys want to split up? Yeah, a lot. I said, do you want to get divorced ever? Yes. Yeah. We wanted to get divorced. Plenty of times. So how come you didn't? I love that. Stay together. And then afterwards, hasn't there been times in our marriages where we go, I think I want out of this thing. I can't stand it. But then you fast forward and then there's a time you're laughing again. Yeah.

2:34:27So you were laughing and giggling and having a great time? My wife and I got pretty close. You know that. We got pretty close. And, boy, if I look now, I'm like, well, I'm an idiot. And I fully admit it. I'm an idiot. And it was the best move I ever made, bringing her to California and staying married, you know? Yeah. And you're good, Woodsy, about admitting, yeah, I'm being a jerk. I have to do it a lot. I have to do it a lot, unfortunately. Here's some weird jobs that actually pay really well. Stripper. Being a shot girl. Oh, good. What's a shot girl? So the girls at the bars that walk around with the shots. Oh, yeah. You know? Tips. With like the test tubes full of shots, you know? Yeah, they make money on tips. Is that a bit? Yeah, a lot of money. It said tips with T-I-P. T-I-P. Oh, yeah. Sorry. They make a ton of dough. What are they making? It says in there, doesn't it? It says they take home between $300 to $600 a night. Wow. Wow. It's pretty good dough if you could find it. No doubt. Working like three hours. Yeah. At a bar. Yeah. I think a lot of these guys, like me, back in the day would just think possibly. I might be able to. Maybe. I might be able to get her. Maybe. But I got to buy a couple of these. Yeah. A couple trays. To get talking, you know. Get warmed up. She probably, she's probably.

2:35:51in her life, wants a fat, short Mexican. Well, she's serving tequila. Serving tequila. She's been waiting for the right moment. Right. So maybe this is her opportunity to feast on me. They're always so pretty, too. Oh, they are. They have to be. They're gorgeous. Submarine cook. Wow. Jay. Nobody wants to be down there. Yeah. Claustrophobic. They make about $187,000 a year. No way. Wow, really? Do not go in there. Yeah. Woo! It'd be so hot. That would be the worst. Imagine how we'll be on a submarine. Just open the window. Oh, wait. 15 minutes. 15 minutes, maybe. Are you claustrophobic, Sienna? Not that bad, but I definitely, in some situations, would be the perfect job for me. Oh yeah, your little pod. I feel safe. And you like to cook? I like to cook, man. You don't like heat, and how hot is it in the kitchen when you're cooking? Maybe you go be a submarine cook. No, Sienna's right. Too hot? It gets so hot, I bet. There's no ventilation. The guys are Dutch ovening real good.

2:37:01You mean that there's an oven that you got and it's Dutch. From the Netherlands. Yeah, that's right. You're cooking in the kitchen and there's an oven. Making hot cross buns with your Dutch oven. Hot cross buns. New Netherlands oven. Oh, my goodness. Macau junket operator. Of course. I mean, who doesn't know that those guys make a ton of cash? I have no idea what that is. It's a city in China. Oh, yeah. And if you gamble, if you get people to gamble there, you get one. of whatever the high rollers will gamble with. Oh, nice. That's a lot of dough. And so if that sounds like your forte, all you have to do is get on the next flight to Macau. You're good to go. Pearl Diver. Oh, yeah, I knew that. You did? Mm-hmm. Dangerous job. I know someone that's a Pearl Diver. In Australia? Mm-hmm. Good day. Yeah. Yeah, apparently it pays. Do they sell the pearls? Is that why they make the money or just diving itself? Yeah, and you've got to go down there and dive. It's dangerous. $1,200 a day. We have our own pearl diver, so I don't even know what you're talking about. It's the best way to do it. $1,200 American bucks a day. A day. Wow, that's some good coin. Yeah, it is. $30,000 a month. That's insane. Wow. Oil and gas divers. Didn't you do that, Jay? I was a commercial diver.

2:38:30That made great money. How deep? Well, one time I was down 290, but I was just there for a blink. 290? Yeah. You feel like your heart's going to explode? Wow, my ears. It was just a blink. It was just a blink, blink. Most of the time we were at 50 foot of water. 50 feet is... Dude. Yeah, that was nothing. When I went scuba diving in Barbados, I was like 9 feet under. I told you this story. There's a shipwreck beneath, and all my buddies are swimming down and touching the shipwreck, and they're like, did you get it? I was like, yeah, I got it. I didn't come within 30 feet of that thing. I was swimming down, and my ears started hanging down. That's cool. Did you get it? Right on the deck. It's like a Titanic, wasn't it? I lied for two days about it. Jewel of the Ocean. What's the big deal? They all did it. They're like, did you get it? I was like, yeah, of course I got it. Sure. You know that? Of course I'm going to get it. And women are down there like exploring. I swear, I went 10 feet down. I was like, ow, ow. I got to go back up. My ears are actually hurting just talking about me. Oh, I know. At the bottom of our pool, my heart starts to beat fast. I'm like, oh, gosh. There's more. There's more. We'll do some of these other.

2:39:44Weird jobs that you can have and make a lot of dough. How long has it been since you heard this tune, pal? A long time. Remember the video? Oh, yeah. Of course. We'll be right back. Welcome back. Sienna's hanging out with us. Little baby Sage fell asleep. And she's hanging out in here having some milk. It's real good. Had a nice little pump sesh before I came. That's right. Hey, listen. Being a baby. It's good work if you can find it. 100%. I would do it right now. This is a real rough life. They look so comfortable when they sleep. She's on my mom's shoulder right now trying to be burped. It looks so, I mean, I was just saying, when babies are asleep in your arm, you go, oh, I wish I could be in a person's arms like that. Oh, yeah. Being cradled. Like a big, giant person. Yes. Like, I wish I had a big, giant mom that I could lay in her arms, and then I want people to go,

2:41:16Aw. Look at that little guy. Cutie. With half a mustache. Right. I didn't even notice. Did you hear that? First thing when she walked in, she goes, oh, my God. No, I did not. You can barely tell, right? Oh, and I heard the whole bit yesterday where it got waxed off, but I didn't even notice until you said it. Woods. It's just the tiniest little guy. Woods reminds me of it. With half a mustache. Here, use this. Here, color it in. It's a sharpie. Color it in. Get a brown sharpie and color it in. No, not a sharpie. Use a makeup pencil. I bet that would work. I have an eyeliner, like a brown pencil. I can do it real quick. I'm in. I'm 100% in. How about some spray on hair? You don't even need it. It's fine. What did Rebecca say? She said it was ridiculous. Of course. Rebecca tells it like it is. You know what Rebecca did yesterday? What? They came over to the house and sprayed a tan on her. And she wanted me to do it too. What's wrong with that? I almost did. Oh, there's something wrong with that. I almost did it. And I thought to myself, I was actually in, I went to the bathroom and I was in the bathroom and I thought, I couldn't come on the radio and say that. I just couldn't. What would Wood say?

2:42:31What would Wood say? What would everybody say? Like, I get away with a lot of Metro stuff. Yeah. Spray tanning. No, no, no. You have to get naked to do that. Yeah. You don't have to, but for a guy. She kept her underwear on. She goes, listen, I'm too old for taking the underwear off. Yeah. Yeah. How do you get that gig? You got to be a girl. It's usually a girl, yeah. It was a girl. And they put a tent around her. Yeah, that's pretty cool they came to the house. Mm-hmm. That's rad. That's what I did before I got married. I think the day before. All the bridesmaids, we all got sprayed down separately in our own tents. We're going to a wedding this weekend, so she wanted to get the spray thing. I recommend it. Not for dudes. I would do it if Woods didn't work here. What if he did it too? Yeah, if Woods does it, I'll do it. I'll do it as a bit. Okay, I'll do it as a bit, too. Can someone write that down? If Woods does it, I'll do it. I'll do it as a bit. Yeah, because then he doesn't give me a hard time. Yeah, because I do it as a bit. I don't wear that as a bit. Guys do it. The girl who sprayed me, I asked her, do you guys ever do it? And she said, oh, yeah. You should see what some of them walk out wearing. You should see what all the gay guys do when they walk out. Oh, wow. Some wear socks. Socks. That's what she said. Not on their feet.

2:43:49Not on their feet. Not on their feet. No. True story. Sorry for that visual. Yeah, what am I going to wear to get spray tan? The Speedo? Yeah. And a sock. Borrow one of little baby Sages socks. Yeah, one of Sages booties. A pair of 501s. You wear your cloak and your cloak only. That'd be a real nice cloak. Where is your cloak? Sienna hasn't seen it. I saw pictures of it. It's genius. Fantastic. It's a real cloak. You should wear it every day. It's hanging up right next to his crown in the office. You should wear that every day. Yeah, I should. Bye. Hey, Miguel, real quick. M1HB. wanted us to shoot out a prayer request. Her sister's having emergency surgery right now. She's a big M1 and we are pulling for you. Surgery for what, did she say? I think gallbladder. Emergency surgery. Good luck. Good luck to you guys. We are praying for you. I hope that doesn't happen with me because I have gallstones. You do? Yeah, but they said they're fine because they're still in my gallbladder.

2:44:49If they ever leave there, then it's bad news. Wouldn't you rather not know that? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know that. Like, you just know they're just chilling in there. I almost wish they hadn't told me. Yeah. Yeah, seriously. A master sommelier makes between 80 and 160 grand a year. That's somebody that knows about wine. Yep. Airplane repo guy. Didn't know it existed, but it does. They make a ton of dough. And bounty hunters make a lot of money. Oh, yeah. So there it is. Wow. Let's see. M1 Cross is on the line from Oceanside. What's up, Chris? Hey, what's up, guys? Hey, I just want to give a little shout out to Sienna. Hey, it's good to have you back. Thank you. I'm sad I'm not going to be back longer, but it feels really good. You brought your headphones with you. I did. I was like, oh, I can't leave it on my headphones. So great. Come on, girl, you can multitask. We have no problem with you breastfeeding in the studio. Zero, yeah, zero for sure. I put my makeup on this morning holding the baby. I was like, oh, man, oh, man. You're a mom. I know. It's official now. Such a mom. I know. It's awesome, isn't it? It's a good feeling. Yeah, I'm a father at two, so I definitely know the feeling. There you go, man. Nothing better. Good job, girl. Thanks, Chris. Take care. Love you. We'll see you. Bye, Chris. Hillary is here. Come on over, Hill. We got a microphone for you right here. Hey. You got your own.

2:46:02There's an extra mic there. That's right. That's so nice. How you doing? I'm doing great. How cute. Thank you. Isn't that great? Little Sage. She is. Beautiful. Thank you. She's doing the drowsy-eyed baby I'm just drunk on milk. I love that. I know, that's her usual face. If you're a parent, even if you've decided that you're done having kids, whenever you see a baby like that, you're like, hmm, maybe. Maybe. Maybe another. They're so cute, especially when they're sleeping. I'll just stand over mine and weep all the time. I guarantee you. Oh, yeah. Just a big Sally. Oh, totally. I go over and, like, feel her all the time. Make sure she's like. Yeah. Because I'm so paranoid. Oh, yeah. Okay, you're good. You're good. For sure. Especially at night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She needs to be in my view at all times. Yeah, it's true. I see a scene in a movie where Woodsy's doing that, and it's a really touching scene, but then you hear. And Woods goes, babe.

2:47:02Babe, babe, babe, babe. Can you handle this? Because I can't. It happens a lot. You have to deal with it. It happened in the studio. That's why I keep saying to Jamie, let's just get a five, six-year-old. No. Maybe an 18-year-old. Swedish girl. Take good care of her. All right? We'll take good care of her. What? We'll take good care of her. That is so creepy. He said that when we went to see Sienna at the hospital. We were leaving, and he goes, hey. How about we adopt, like, I don't know, an 18-year-old Swedish girl? What do you mean? When you walked, oh my gosh, when you walked in the hospital, you immediately grabbed the baby, knew to hold the neck and the head. Like, you're fine. Yeah, I'll be fine. You'll be great. I'm scared to death. You'll be great. That's normal if you're scared. Oh, yeah. Hillary, what do you got coming up? I couldn't get into the studio. I tried my code twice, and it wouldn't let me in, and someone was on the other side of the door talking. Oh, my God. You're in a struggle. It didn't help, so I... Banged on the door. Banged on the door. And then ran in there. And then I ran in there. Good job. That's so mad. Yeah, so I have no idea. I'll just grab some good stuff. You'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. All right, well, the lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next, and we'll come back tomorrow morning.

2:48:17And we will do it all over again. And Sienna, it was so good to see you. I love you guys. Good to see you. We love you. Love you. I love you M1s. Thank you for all the really nice messages too. We have the best listeners ever. Yeah, we do. Love you guys. Mikey Show's out. Late.