The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/17/10
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday September 17, 2010
Today I gathered with the ‘magnificent seventeen’ M1s as the party atmosphere invaded the new studio. Mikey lets everyone in on what had only been buzzing around, that he almost had to take the day off and cancel the live studio because of his gall stone pain that landed him in the hospital Thursday evening. Mike’s Doctor (who sounds like a tech support agent for Dell computers) suggested blood work, an ultrasound, and more procedures involving needles and Mikey high-tailed it out of there despite the pain. Nitta, Mikey’s nanny was also in studio along with Rebecca and Jamie and she shoots him Hungarian daggers when he speaks in her accent. One look at Nitta and I knew why Mikey’s brother Steve wanted to flirt with her. Woodsy ran into some trouble on Facebook when he posted about the Chargers’ blackout this Sunday. M1’s give their reasons why blackouts are occurring with a consistent division championship team. Woodsy’s water cooler will give him a leg up on everyone. Along with the Acid Lady, Joaquin Phoenix’s new movie is a fake and Mikey wonders what they use for fake cocaine when they show actors snorting rails. WoS has an exclusive interview with M1 Winder who shot a hole in one on the golf course. Guess who’s playing the Superbowl halftime? Here’s a hint, when in doubt, just pee your pants! The Kid gets fired up about accusations against Derek “The Cheater” Jeter and a lively debate ensues with Jay and Mikey ganging up on him as Woods tries to explain the nature of being competitive. The E network’s new reality show where brides to be can win free trips under the knife for plastic surgery is compared to “The Swan” which LOB hated yet watched every episode. The Panel agrees Katy Perry should have taken the high road instead of humiliating some poor guy she went to high school with. Oprah’s not leaving TV exactly; just network TV, so a new hilarious parody song is played. Woodsy recaps his horrendous day and what happened to him when he took the wrong medication. After the hot potato game between Woods and Jay the winner gets to “split the uprights” with BB King! Food is brought in by Wahoo’s courtesy of www.catertoyousd.com. Check them out, they even brought in beer at 8am and it didn’t last long with this crowd! Mikey tries to understand why the NAACP wants to legalize pot, which leads to Lauren and Woods to share their experiences with the hippy lettuce. Bill Clinton “never inhaled” pot, but he speaks fondly of his squeaky clean new son-in-law. LOB recaps her baby niece not liking her. Luke is accused of being another baby misanthropist so he calls in to defend himself, beleaguer his old man, demand money for his bookie, and even involves me in his schemes! The trade up charity game comes to a great close as Mark from Maui makes it right. Mikey pulls out random questions from his “Box O’ Bits” and the laughs flow from one question to the next. The studio audience gets hysterical when Mikey has a body shot of booze explained to him. Tom Tom Girl gets sensitive about her dating scene before she begins an awesome game of Tom Tom Tunes. Woodsy has no interest in Mikey’s favorite new show, “Swamp People”. Despite the editor’s cap, Woodsy has a difficult time shuffling through the news. Boston accents come and go during audio of “The Town”. LOB tells about her worst drunken email. Woods anticipates losing lots of money as he prepares to head off to Vegas for the weekend.
Bumper Music
| 1. Love Spreads by The Stone Roses |  |
| 2. Right Hand On My Heart by The Whigs | |
| 3. Panama by Van Halen | |
| 4. Cuts Like A Knife by Bryan Adams | |
| 5. Sister Havana by Urge Overkill | |
| 6. Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart by Stone Temple Pilots | |
| 7. Debonair by The Afghan Whigs | |
| 8. Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground by The White Stripes | |
| 9. Remedy by The Black Crowes | |
| 10. Wish You Were Here by Incubus | |
| 11. Beauty School by Deftones | |
| 12. Good Grief by Foo Fighters | |
| 13. Radiation Vibe by Fountains Of Wayne | |
| 14. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) by Journey | |
| 15. Who Do You Love by George Thorogood | |
| 16. Think About You by Guns N’ Roses | |
herniagallstoneemergency roomderek jeter cheatingbaseball blackoutkaty perry songmovie hot potatooprah farewellscoundrel wordnaacp marijuana legalizationtrade up charityfour seasons maui
The show opened with Mikey describing his painful hernia follow‑up that turned into a gallstone scare, leading him to refuse an IV and leave the ER. Later, the hosts debated whether Derek Jeter’s fake hit‑by‑pitch was cheating or a heads‑up play, while Woodsy and Lauren O’Brien argued about the NAACP’s call to legalize marijuana as a civil‑rights issue. The segment also featured a Trade Up for Charity giveaway of a Four Seasons Maui stay, a lively discussion of Katy Perry’s song “You’re So Gay,” a Movie Plot Hot Potato game where listeners guessed film titles for a BB‑gun penalty, and Mikey’s on‑air farewell song to Oprah, punctuated by the word‑of‑the‑day “scoundrel.”
What happened, in order
Hernia follow‑up leads to gallstone scare
Mikey describes pain after a hernia surgery follow‑up, suspects a gallstone, refuses an IV and leaves the emergency room.
Mikey's farewell song to Oprah
Mikey performs an original song set to the tune of “The Sound of Silence” to say goodbye to Oprah as she ends her network career.
Jeter's fake hit‑by‑pitch controversy
The hosts debate whether Derek Jeter’s pretended hit‑by‑pitch to get on base was cheating or a smart heads‑up play.
Katy Perry's provocative song debated
Lauren O’Brien and others discuss Katy Perry’s song “You’re So Gay,” questioning its tastefulness and potential impact on young listeners.
Surfboard trade‑up for Rady Children's Hospital
Promotion director Adam announces a Trade Up for Charity giveaway: a custom surfboard, wetsuit and lessons worth over $1,000, with proceeds going to Rady Children’s Hospital.
Listeners guess movies for BB gun penalty
In the Movie Plot Hot Potato game, callers describe film plots; wrong guesses earn a BB‑gun shot, creating tense, humorous moments.
NAACP backs pot legalization as civil rights issue
The NAACP representative argues that marijuana arrests disproportionately affect African Americans and calls legalization a civil‑rights matter.
Word of the day: scoundrel
The show introduces the word “scoundrel” as the day’s vocabulary, prompting listeners to use it for a prize.
People mentioned
mikeywoodsylauren o'brienrebeccanitajeremyharoldwindertimmike boozcasey affleckjoaquin phoenixfloyd mayweatherbill clinton
28,586 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Look at this. It's a Mikey show on a Friday with a live. You can say that. Yeah, you can. I'll tell you this, man. When they said that they were going to be able to pack a live studio audience in the new Studio M, they were not kidding. Wow. This is insane. They were really able to pack an audience in here, and they did a great job of it. Really nice. We got a whole bunch of people. Every major M1 that we have is here today. I mean, every major M1 is here. And we're real stoked about it. And we got a big show. We got a giant show. Huge. All I know is that I'm really glad that everything worked out last night with me. Because I'm guessing that the 20 or more people that are here today would have been real bummed out. Yeah, I was planning on, you know.
I was thinking about having to make all these calls and send these emails. I was like, oh, boy, this is going to be bad. There would have been 30 broken hearts this morning. Well, I had a follow-up appointment yesterday with my doctor because I had surgery for a hernia. And the appointment was at 5, which is a late appointment. And I go to bed at 6 because I'm an old guy. And I go, okay, well, here's the deal. I will go to this appointment at five. I'll be out of there in no time. Be home, bed, six o'clock. No big deal. I get up at one 30. And so at about three 30 in the afternoon, I started getting this pain and it was in my gut under my ribs on the right side. It was hurt. It was, it was hurt. But on a scale of one to 10, I'd say five. Right. And so, I take a shower, no pain, you know, I don't have any pain now. And I'm like, oh, well, that's good. Whatever it was, just went away. I drive over to my appointment, and it's getting worse and worse as I'm getting there, and the pain level's rising. And by the time I get to the doctor's office, I have to wear this binder, this abdominal binder. Call it what it is, yeah. It's a girdle.
Let's call it what it is. And by that time, the pain is bad enough to where I got to take that thing off because it hurts so bad. And it's a stabbing pain. And so get up to the doctor's office, go and sit down, and now it's up to eight or nine. Now, scale of one to ten, it's like I'm gritting my teeth. And the doctor's looking at everything, and she says, I think this is a gallstone because where this is localized right now, I can tell it's right above the gallbladder, okay? And the last CAT scan that you had revealed that you have gallstones, but they have not left the gallbladder. So I'm concerned that this could be potentially, you know, the gallstones coming out. And so I call Rebecca.
who's here this morning, Rebecca and our new nanny, Nita, and Woodsy's wife are here this morning. First Friday here in the new studio. So I call Rebecca, and she says, well, you know, my friend Lori has gallbladder stuff all the time, and it hurts like crazy, but what she does is she knows that it's either that or surgery, and she just kind of grits it out. And I said, Well, maybe I can do that because I'm laying down talking to her on the phone with my T-shirt pulled up to my boobs. And I say boobs because, well, like Jeremy. Jeremy's got a chest, okay? Jeremy in our engineering department, he's got a chest. Good body over there. He's got a chest. Good body's got a chest, okay? Harold's got a chest. Harold's got a chest. Winder's got a chest. Tim's got a chest. I have boobs, okay? I have breasts. But I'm an old woman. Yeah.
With tiny nipples. Yeah. And so I said, yeah, I'm going to grit it out and hang up with Rebecca, stand up. Pain hits again. I go, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. And the doctor walks in and she says, you cannot go to Reading tomorrow if that's what you want to do. If you want to go to a wedding, you cannot go to a wedding. And not only that, your health is more important than to try to go to work or to try to do any of this. It is better for you to take care of this. And so I said, no, no, I'm fine. And I'm putting my abdominal binder back on. And it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad that I raised my little right leg up. And I went, ah! And she goes, and she goes, get the wheelchair, get the wheelchair. The veal chair. Yeah. And they wheel me. Did you know that name? They vealed me over. There you go. To the emergency room. And they take their time, which is really weird for an emergency room. Yeah, it's so weird.
You're usually in and out of that place. Yeah, five, ten minutes. So weird. And I go into the emergency room. They put me on a bed, and they put the little band on me, and I got on the little gown, which is... Polka dots? That makes my mouth water. Yeah. And so I'm in there, and Rebecca's on her way, and the doctor comes in, and right as the doctor's coming in, I say, I'm going to go home. And I'll admit now, live on the radio, to all of you here, and to my wife, and to the world, why I decided to go home. Much of it was about wanting to not disappoint the M1s here this morning. But I did not want to get a blood test or an IV, and I knew that they were going... Lucky hates noodles. Yes, not a needle fan. They said that this is what they wanted to do to me.
Ultrasound. They wanted to do a CAT scan with dye. Oh, wow. They wanted to do blood work. And I was laying in the bed. And all I could think about was the needles. And I said, I want to go home. I'm brave. I'm tough. I'm fine. Yeah, I'm tough. I'm courageous. Doesn't even hurt anymore. Doesn't hurt. I'm fine. Yeah. And I stood up. And it felt like. The crazy 88s from Kill Bill ran in and stuck a samurai sword into my gut. It hurt so bad. But I didn't want a needle. I didn't want blood tests. I didn't want an IV. And I said, I'm going home. And so I did. And the doctor made me sign something that said that they recommended that I stay there. And that I refused. And I left. And Rebecca got my meds. And I took a pain pill. and I went beddy-bye, and I woke up this morning at 1.30, and it hurt, and I took another pain pill, and I feel fantastic. I'm sure there's nothing wrong. Yeah, you're fine. I'm sure I'm perfectly fine. You're fine. But we're here, and that's all that matters, right? Yeah. Thank you, because I don't want to have to text and call these people, man. There would have been a riot. Yeah, I have to explain the whole thing and the whole bit. It would have taken me seven hours. Our program director would have called and said,
Why are people firing off barrels of fire at the building? Mike Booz called. Mike Booz from Booz Allen Hamilton, the building. Called and wants to know what's going on. Woodsy called me last night to tell me. And I was like, oh, no. And I was like, Mike just said on the air yesterday that he thinks he has gallstones. But he's like, no, I know I do. I'm not worried. Yeah, you know that you do. I know I do. I'm not worried about it. Yeah. Yeah, I told L.O.B., hey, if you want, we're probably not going to be working. So go out and have some drinks. Have a ball. So she went out until three or four. Doctor was cool, though. The doctor was actually cool. So he's, I'm laying down on the table, and he's pressing on my gut, right? And he gets to the part that's tender. And of course they, yeah. And of course doctors, when they're, L.O.B. almost lost coffee. I almost spit all over our brand new board. He's pressing down on my stomach, and he presses down on the part that hurts, and I almost leap out of the table, and he goes, does that hurt? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Oh, boy. Mm-mm. No, it's fine. It's fine. I didn't even feel it. Where'd you press? I didn't even feel it. I'm fine. I didn't even go home. I signed my little thing and went home. Off you went. Yeah. We're glad you were brave.
Really brave. Yeah. You're like a soldier. Yeah. You know? A soldier that's afraid of needles. Honey, did you suspect that at any time? Yeah, of course. You did? That I didn't want to get an IV? I hate it. Come on, Sal. I'm sorry, dude. Needles? I don't like IVs. I don't like them either. No, I heard you love them. I heard that you love them. Love needles. No, I don't like them, but it's a necessary evil. Yeah. I got home and our nanny, Nita, went, oh, something's wrong? Right? You okay? And said, no. I'm not. In America, they call this hurts like hell. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm going to die. Yeah. She goes, oh, this is not good. No, it is not. Nita is five feet behind you, or back behind you. Easy. She's going to slit your throat. Yeah, she's going to slit your throat from behind. Say it. Say it. Say it. Yeah.
She goes, maybe you don't do imitation anymore. Maybe I kill you. She's so sweet. She just winked at you. Yeah, exactly. All right, so the word of the day is scoundrel. So you're listening for the word scoundrel. When you hear us, use the word scoundrel. You will win a fabulous prize. Jay would tell us what it is, but he's doing something right now. He's getting his ears waxed. He's getting his ears waxed. I'm going to give him angel and anarchy. Easy. Say it. Angel and anarchy sunglasses. Both of them? Yes. So $160 value for his and her sunglasses. You're listening for the word scoundrel. When you hear it cleverly worked into a sentence, you will win. Call our nine at 570-1949 when we do that. And I wrote a song to say goodbye to Oprah. I will play that song at 7.30. I wrote it to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's The Sound of Silence. Nice. And so we will do that. I can't wait. So here is the big story right now. There's a lot of big stories, actually. And you can call 570-1949 is our number or text. It's 949mikey at gmail.com.
you will not be seeing the Charger game on TV. Did you guys know that? Yeah. It's been blacked out. And... I know it. And it's discouraging. And, Woods, what did you put on your Facebook last night? Well, I started World War III last night, and all I said was, first home game blacked out. Wow. And that's it. Didn't call anybody out. Didn't say anything. I'm about to, though. Yeah, and they're like, why don't you go to hell, dude? Yeah, go back to Dallas, go back to Texas. Is that what people said? Oh, yeah. All I saw was I was on my homepage on Facebook, and the top story on there was Stephen Woods, exactly what you said, and I went, whoa, 76 comments. Oh, yeah, World War III. Yeah, but go back to Dallas. You know, this wouldn't happen in Dallas, but. Oh, wow. Yeah. So my bit is this. The cover of the UT today says Texan causes civil unrest. Yeah, absolutely. My bit is this. For the eight, nine months I've been here, I was like, oh, wow, you've got a really solid baseball team out there that nobody goes to see. So what I hear is, well, Woodsy, wait until football season. This is Charger town. Just wait. Wait. Okay. Here I sit. Great work. Okay. Great work. Okay, I'm going to get some opinions. Tim is a big Charger fan. Can I talk to you, Tim?
Come over to this, Mike. So, Tim, as a Charger, you know, I think of you when I think of Chargers because I know you're a Charger fan. Why? Why do you think that this happens? Why do people not go to the games? From what I've seen, I think it's a combination of ticket prices, people mad for Monday night, people mad for losing to the Jets last year. It's just a combination of all of it. I think that's it, too. Thank you, Tim. I think that's it, too. In fact, we were driving here. to work this morning. I was driving in with Woods and I said, you know what, man? The thing that you will hear more often than not, well, almost every time is, well, you know, there's just so much to do in San Diego. And I even used it. And then I said to Woods, I go, you know what, dude? I don't think that's it, actually. I said, you know what I really think it is? I think people are mad about the loss. And they don't want to go. Because there's a lot to do in Miami. They're getting blocked out. Jacksonville. I mean, here's the deal.
When Detroit is selling out. Detroit, who has no money. They have no money. When they're not blacked out, there's a problem. Yeah. Seriously. I mean, come on. I'm not calling you out, aren't I? But, you know, that's all I heard was, you know, hey, just wait. Just wait until football season starts. So here I am. I do sports, allegedly, on this show. And I can't even watch a game. Yeah. It's perfect. You guys text me some updates if anybody sees it? Because I have to report on that game. No, I'm going to fly to Jacksonville and watch the game. Yeah, apparently. Maybe I'll drive to L.A. and watch it. It's not the night game, is it? No. It's like 1.15. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, first of all, I'm not going anywhere, so feast on that. And then number two, I mean, maybe go out and support your bunch. Yeah. Is that bad to say? Go out and support your team? Is that bad? I can't say it because I don't. Yeah, I know. You know why? Because now. It's relatively economical to be able to buy HDTV, and it's fun to watch football games in HDTV with super slow-mo. Yeah, man. It just is. It looks great. I mean, I almost have a bigger problem with the Padres because that's a good baseball team. They're no longer in first now, but they're getting a half capacity when they're having their division rivals in town in the middle of a pennant race. That's the tough part. M1 Super Mario from Temecula. What's going on, Mikey? What's up, dude?
First thing, I just want to say congratulations on the new studio. Oh, thank you, dude. Thank you so much. So the reason why I was calling is because if you got DirecTV and you got the Sunday ticket, when home games are blacked out, what the system does is it'll search through all the channels and it'll pull a feed from another city. Negative, Ghostwriter. If you live in Temecula, you can see the game. But if you live in San Diego County... when I have the NFL Sunday ticket, when those games are blacked out and I put it on either the local Channel 8, where it would be, or the Channel 724, where it might come up on the NFL Sunday ticket, on the NFL Sunday ticket, it will say, this program not available in your area. They make sure that DirecTV programs it that way. and they make sure that you can't see it. Now, if you live in Temecula, my understanding is you're okay. You can watch the games in Temecula. Yeah, there's a few M1s that are here right now that said, hey, I guess we're driving to Temecula to watch the game this weekend. Maybe you guys send me some notes. Come on down, man. I got you. You got me? Yeah. I would, man, but I'll be out of town. But maybe you guys send me some updates. There you go. Some highlights. Thank you, Super Mario. Kristen.
How about you? What do you think? Why do you think that this happens? Well, we'd go, but I can't afford it. It's expensive. So it's expensive. That's one of the deals. I'm hoping that I win the raffle at work that we get to go. Yeah, I mean, that's really the big one. Maybe that's the thing. If the Chargers considered lowering prices for the tickets, maybe it wouldn't be an issue. And that is, you know what? That brings up a good point because this is something that we have to consider. San Diego County is one of the most expensive places in not the country, the world. Yeah, I tried to make that point as well last night that, you know, there are a lot of other markets in this country that aren't blacked out on Sunday. Yeah. They're just not. But, you know, it's like Mikey and I were talking about this morning. You live in Green Bay. What do you got? You got the Packers, and that's all you got. Yeah. And that's what you live for. You go watch cheese get made. Absolutely. That's it. And, you know, the thing is about here is, you know, it's not a lie because there is a lot of other stuff to do. There's a lot of other stuff to do. But when you have a, allegedly, allegedly, what everybody's saying, and I think so too, Super Bowl caliber potential team.
That's pretty rough, man. Game one. How would you feel? Put yourself in Phillip Rivers' shoes. Yeah. Put yourself in his shoes. You go out and you look in the stands and you go, I wouldn't fit in him. Oh, wow. Yeah, no. You wouldn't fit in him at all. I could probably sleep in that. You walk out and you're getting ready to take the first snap and you look up and you're like, empty seats. Great. Perfect. What are we, the Raiders? Yeah. I wonder if it has to do with the opponent. Maybe people aren't excited about Jacksonville. I don't know. It's the first game. I remember years ago when they were blacked out. The first game that actually got on TV for the first time, I think, was when they were against the Steelers. The one that got blacked out. Because they say in the paper today, they said that this is 48 straight regular season games that have aired. Yeah. And postseason games. But there was more yellow in the stands than there was. Blue. That makes me crazy. That makes me nuts, too. As a Notre Dame fan, I remember one year, all the Nebraska people went down to Notre Dame, and they paid the students $1,000 a ticket. And you're a college student, and they're like, hey, man, I'll give you a grand. What are you going to do? The whole stadium was red. My dad and I were watching the game going, holy cow, that's Nebraska. Well, how about this? Doesn't get any better. The Chargers said recently that more than 10,000 tickets.
are still remaining for their next home game on October 3rd against the Cardinals. So hopefully those get bought. Yep. You know? But, you know, I've got nothing against the city of San Diego. I love it. It's the best place in the world. I would never want to live anywhere else. I told my wife I would die here if we had our choice. But, you know, when it comes to the teams, that's a little, that's kind of rough. I'm not used to seeing that ever. Maybe the Zonies will come into town and buy some tickets. Maybe. I hope so. I'd like to watch the game. I'd love to watch the game because I really had a good time watching them last week. Oh, yeah, that was a ball. I don't have a team. Yeah, but I mean, I'm a man without a team because I can't stand, you know, the team I grew up with. I can't stand their quarterback and half their players. Romo. Yeah, he's terrible. This is giant news. Remember the woman that we talked about that got the acid on the face? Do you guys remember that? It was a hoax. It was a hoax. Brutal. Yeah. And it really, you know, they're not, the police are not, we'll know exactly why she did it. The police are not saying yet why she did it. They're not releasing that info yet. But they went to her house. She lives with her parents. They went to her house. They did a search of her home. Sure, that didn't make her nervous. Yeah. At all. They searched her home.
And again, they're not saying why she did it, but I think I know why she did it. Her quote was when she was initially talking about it. I'm here today because of Jesus Christ, which is a she's nuts. OK, not doing any. She's not doing anything good for his name when she does something like this. It just makes her look kooky. But anyway, we don't know why she swallowed a fly. But anyway, that's a deal. So we'll know soon. It's sad. It's sad. It's really sad. Really? Boy, we were all, when we talked about it, we were all like, I hope it's not a hoax. I hope it's not. Well, dude, when we first talked about it, did we even think? No. We all felt...
Bad for her. We were like, wow, and she purchased the sunglasses. Crazy. Saved her eyesight. Hook, line, and sinker, pal. Not only that, we were like, man, and she seems to have such a good attitude about it. What happens when you do it to yourself? Right. And that's what I really want to know is what she used, what it was, how she did it. Did someone else do it? That kind of deal. Before we get too late, we got to... Take a real quick time out. But another huge, huge story. You know, listen, you've heard me say plenty of times over the years, slow news day. Not today. Huge news day today. So many things happening. The latest on Joaquin Phoenix's new movie, it's called I'm Still Here. The latest on that, gigantic. So we'll tell you about that. Felony charges have been filed against Floyd Mayweather. If you haven't heard that, Woods has details in Woods on Sports. Make some noise in our brand new Studio M this morning. We've got a live studio audience. It's the Mikey Show. Be back with that in a second. Welcome back to the brand new Studio M with a live studio audience. Very, very nice. Love having the live studio audience in here and even better when we are in the Ferrari of studios. No question. You guys comfortable in here? What do you guys, you guys like it? It's pretty cool.
Man, I'm telling you, man, I have been giddy about it. Yesterday, you know, when the show was over and we were just kind of kicking it in here, hanging out, you guys heard me a few times go, I love this. Yeah. I don't want to leave. Yeah. Yeah, we don't want to leave. We were like, Mikey has Tourette's, I think. I know. Seriously, it was like that. I was like, I like this. Randomly saying it. Yeah. I just absolutely love the new studio. It's comfortable. It's nice. Maybe we put a shower in here. What? Yep. Yeah. We're going to get a big beanbag for in here, which my wife thought was extremely sophomoric. But, you know, even though I know she'd love it. You would love it if you sat in one, babe. Childish, she said. Childish. Childish. We got water coming. Yeah. That's going to be the bit. That's the first one. That's the first. Just remember that. 364 more days. Mark the day, M1s, because this is the first time you're going to hear him reference this. So here's what Woods did. Woods decided that he was going to get a Arrowhead water dispenser. And he has not stopped talking about how he's done that for us. Very generous. Very generous. Very generous. Extremely generous. Since he did it. And he said that the bit's going to be like...
Anytime L.O.B. says anything to him on or off the air that is in any way contradictory, he'll be like, really? How's that coffee coming along? Yeah. I'll just put that on your tab. Yeah. This one's on me. Yeah, I guess I got this. Happy birthday. Yeah, I'll pick this one up. Hey, how's that hot tea taste? Is it good? Is it good? Is it good? Did you get that water from the bathroom? Oh, no, you didn't. You got it from here. Yeah. Okay, enjoy it. It looks so clean and pure and fresh and refreshing. Enjoy it. Feast. Yeah, feast on it. Feast on that. So, anyway. Can't wait for that. They're going to be like, take the frigging water thing back. We don't want it anymore. Nobody will drink it. I'll be drinking it by myself. That's what I said. I was like, just to spite him, I'm going to go to the bathroom and be like, I'll get this faucet. It's great. Okay, so 7.30 this morning, about an hour from now, be playing my goodbye song to Oprah to The Sound of Silence. Let's do that tune. And then we're also going to be telling you in just a second what he's going to tell you. Why?
Floyd Mayweather has been brought up on felony charges. So Ben, not Ben Affleck, but Casey Affleck has, Affleck, has directed a movie called I'm Still Here, a documentary about Joaquin Phoenix. And the deal is, is Joaquin is done with movies and has kind of gone off the deep end. and is wanting to become a rapper. And he wears a black and white suit, and it looks kind of Blues Brothers-ish. Beard. Beard, big scraggly long beard, and big black sunglasses. And it turns out that it's a bit. You were right. Now, I thought that it was a bit, but at the same time, I said, I'm okay with that. And the reason I'm okay with it is because I think it's brilliant. It's brilliant. I think it's a brilliant idea. And I think that in order to be able to make it work, you got to be really good. You know, the only reason that Casey has had to come out and say that it's a bit is because apparently they're getting pounded by critics that think that it kind of goes over the line.
Doesn't he do coke in it? He does a lot of blow. He sleeps with a couple hookers, allegedly, in the movie. Or it shows him, and I guess the door shuts. It's implied. It's implied. I wonder if the drug use is implied or showed. Oh, it's showed. From what I've heard, it's shown. They show him doing rails? But I don't think it's rails. In the movies, what do they do? Baby powder or something. Powdered sugar. Still hurt, though, right? Well, you can't snort. baby powder. Sure you can, pal. I don't know. I don't think it's going to kill you. Roger Ebert said that it's a sad and painful documentary that serves little useful purpose other than to pound another nail into the coffin. But I think the idea of it is absolutely brilliant. I still want to see it. I do, too. I still want to see it, but I want to see it just a little bit less. A little bit. It's like Blair Witch. When I found out Blair Witch was fake, I was like, eh. Just a little bit less. I feel like he should have kept quiet for just a little longer. It was quick. It was a quick outing of this thing. Because it's not even really in a full release yet, right? No. And, you know, the thing is, is that Joaquin has been doing a lot of pressers for it. And when he does the pressers, he does them as...
you know, this character. So my question now is, does he just become Joaquin again? Yeah, he's going to shave. And shave and just be like, no, I don't have to do this anymore. I can just be normal. Or does he continue to do the bit? You know, that would be good too, is to continue to do the bit and be like, I don't know what anyone's talking about. This is real. This is really hysterical. And he does a rail on David Letterman's desk. Well, they said that Casey came out and said that. That Letterman appearance where David famously said, well, Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight. That it was a bit, but David had no idea. David was not clued into the fact that that was the first part of the bit. Casey Affleck says, I never intended to trick anybody. Didn't you? Didn't you? The idea of a, quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind. That's the whole basis of the movie is a hoax. Yeah. I never intended to trick anybody. Maybe he doesn't know what the word trick means. Yeah, or hopes, maybe. Virtually none of it was real. Not even the opening shots, supposedly, of Joaquin and his siblings swimming in a water hole in Panama. Yeah. Those actors. Hey, but I think that's brilliant. I do, too. I don't think that's easy to do. No. I think it's brilliant. You know? And it's, you know, it's an extremely...
clever mockumentary. Yeah. This is Spinal Tap was so over the top and so funny that everybody knew that it wasn't real. Brilliant. But brilliant. Brilliant. So anyway, that is, man, that's making big news today that that thing wasn't real. But I still obviously want to see it. I love mockumentaries, documentaries. I would watch a documentary. On a turd, Ryan. You would. I know you would. I just, I love them so much. A turdumentary. A turdumentary, if you will. I really would, because I just love them that much. Well, let's see. Time-wise, let's do, just to try to keep things a little bit on track, time-wise, we're going to do a little Woods on Sports, and then we're going to discuss Derek Jeter. Woods! Woods! Woods! Woods on Sports brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Reggie Bush said that he is giving up his Heisman trophy, but it is not an admission of guilt. Cut one. It was the best thing to do at this time. I feel like it was the most respectable thing to do. Because obviously I do respect the Heisman. I do respect everything that it stands for. Thanks for taking all the air out of my sales mic.
Come on now. You're going to be fine discussing the Jeter thing. Last night, the Padres have been knocked out of first place by the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Giants got a win last night. M1 Winder over there is very excited. M1 Winder, by the way, also got himself a hole-in-one yesterday on the golf course, which is ridiculous. Ridiculous. Granted, he was at putt-putt, but it's still a hole-in-one is a hole-in-one, okay? What does that feel like, dude? Yeah, what did it feel like? Well, they all are. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I got one, too, and I'm terrible. It doesn't matter when it happened, what... Did you see it go in? Did you freak out? Yeah. Did you curse? Yeah, absolutely. What did it cost you in the clubhouse afterwards? Did you have to buy drinks? No. No? I was shocked. When he texted me, I go, did he? And then I called him, and his buddy was there with him. So he had a witness. I mean, that's the bit. Anybody can say, you know, a tree falls in the forest. Right. Does anybody hear it? Right. He had his buddy there with him. Dude, it's got a... Do what? Oh, you're having the ball bronze? Nice. And the one I played golf with. And the one you played golf with. Wow. That's huge. And see very well. Is that lamps aren't, Sean? Exactly. That must have been just an incredible feeling, though, right?
That's pretty cool. I bet. It wasn't even that good of a shot. They never are. Mine wasn't either. It kicked directly right and just went straight in the hole. You think it hit a branch? Yeah, I had a hole in one. You did? Yeah. Mine was 144. I don't know. It's just kick, like, right. That's right in the hole. Congrats, dude. Did you do, like, the shooter afterwards? The gun? It just went in. I was like, really? We kind of looked at each other, and everybody started yelling. That's awesome. It's such a cool feeling. It's great. Yeah, it's fun. So the Giants have knocked. Actually, the Cardinals knocked the Padres out of first, but the Giants won as well. Tim Stauffer pitched okay last night, but not good enough. Cut two. Tim was fine. You know, he threw the ball. It's a vote of confidence. He's fine. He's fine. You know, kept us close through. You know what? The team's fine. You know what? September, which is fine. Yeah. They hit a, you know, well-placed bunt. You know, well-placed fly ball in the right. October's 12 days away, which is fine. Scored two. You know, that was fortuitous for them. We're on a losing streak, which is fine. Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, hey, this is the time of year. You got to make it happen. Yeah.
This is a wild story. Absolutely wild story. Floyd Mayweather, who's, you know, I think pretty much undisputedly the greatest boxer living right now. He's 41 and 0. He's got 25 knockouts. His nickname is Money. Weird. And this guy is, dude, this guy has been hit with three more felony charges in a domestic violence case. It has to do with his wife and his children and all kinds of, you know, allegedly he beat his wife. Okay, and then he's been coercing his children. I mean, this thing is going to be insane. And he's facing 34 years in prison if convicted. Yeah, you know why? Because if you are a professional... boxer or MMA or any of that, and you physically attack somebody, it's a lethal weapon. Lethal weapons. Wow. It's a lethal weapon. It's an attack with a lethal weapon. Yeah. Originally, what had happened was he stole the cell phone's belonging to his, I guess it's his girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend, Josie Harris. He stole her cell phones, which is grand larceny, which I had no idea. It's a cell phone. But then there were some domestic battery accusations as well. So that's...
Terrible. Big time. Big time, big time. So we'll have to monitor this story and see how it goes. And then finally, can you guess who's playing the halftime show of the Super Bowl? They've already announced it. Gaga? No. Worse. Katy Perry. What do you mean worse? You like Gaga. Worse. Bieber. Justin Bieber. Worse. How does it get worse than Bieber? Worse. Black Eyed Peas. That's rad. You go from the who to the black-eyed peas. There you go. So step up is what you're saying? No, really? I think so. Maybe she wets herself on stage. Again. Again. Repugnant. That's what's on sports, by the way, Mike. Okay, so let's talk about Derek Jeter. Don't we have to go to break? No. It's time. We're good. We're fine. Got it out. No, we're fine. Sure, we're good. Seven minutes. Who are they playing? The Rays.
So, Derek Jeter is at bat, and the pitcher for the Rays pitches him up and inside. Up and in. And there he is. He's ready to bat, and the ball hits the bottom of the bat. The knob. The knob of the bat. The very bottom of the bat. And Derek Jeter does this, ooh, ah, ah, ah, routine, right? Yeah. And he takes first base. Right. Okay? Next guy comes up, hits a two-run homer. which really adds to the story. They lost the game. They still lost the game. The Yankees lost. The Yankees lost. The Yankees lost. Okay, but this is what the question is. The question is, is it cheating? Is it, you know, what is that? Right. And so here are the two different sides of it, okay? One side of it is, hey, man, that's an incredible, incredible athlete that was able to pull off a really smart.
You know, that's a heads up. That's why they call him one of the smartest guys in the game. Heads up play. Because it's a heads up play. He was able to get, you know, his job is to get on base. And so one would say that's the deal. Yeah. You know, the other argument is that's lying, which could be, you know, considered cheating. Right. Isn't that the only argument, though? Yeah. Well. In my eyes. I'm being honest with you. I think, because I've been listening a lot to sports talk radio, the majority says heads-up play. The other manager, Joe Maddon, said, yeah, all the time. Great move. Great play. But he got ejected from the game for going out and objecting to it. But he also said, yeah, why wouldn't he do that? I went out because I knew the ump blew the call.
That's not on Derek Jeter. And Jeter's argument was, hey, the ump made the call. I'm not going to tell him he's wrong. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The ump made the call, too, and hit him and said go. Wait, wait, wait. Because you can't take first place without the ump telling you to. That's like saying to the bouncer, I'm with the band. And the bouncer says, well, come on in. And then later you go, I'm not going to have an argument with the bouncer. He let me in. Right, but you lied to him to get in. But it doesn't matter. The umpire made the call, Mike. The umpire is the judge. Right. If the judge lets you off, are you going to go, you know what, Your Honor, I really did steal that pack of gum. If the judge, and they present their, they present their, no, your attorney, your attorney. You lied to the judge. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. He can't. What is this? He makes, he makes the call. Well, here's the deal. Have you ever been hit with a ball? Of course not. I'm fat. I think what had happened was the ball hit the knob and he did the bit like, I mean, because it hurts even when it hits the bottom of the thing. He drops the bat and he does the bit, but then he played it up big time. He did. The ump goes, you got it. Take one. So Jeter's like, all right, you made the call. I'm going to first. Yeah. He said, I'm with the band. And the bouncer goes, come on in. It's a weak argument. He said to the judge, I didn't do it. The judge said, oh, okay, you're off. And then he says to the judge, oh, yeah, well, the judge let me go.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Now, I haven't even said yet what I think about it. I haven't even said, oh, well, that's cheating. Oh, he's a liar. Oh, he's, you know, whatever. And the reason is because, quite honestly, I've been thinking about it now for almost 24 hours, and I'm not sure what I think. The thing that kind of swings the argument... In one way in my head is it's baseball, you know, and it isn't it isn't a Senate hearing. Right. You know, that's one part of me. The other part of me can't escape the fact that what he did was a lie. Sure. And I'm not denying that. I can't escape that. I'm not denying that at all. Didn't he a couple of years ago pretend to get hit at first base, too? I thought that happened, too. Does anybody here have an opinion about it? Anybody have an opinion? Oh, ask the guy with the Red Sox hat on. Come on up, ET. Let's hear this. What do you think, Eric? I just feel that, you know, as a Yankee and an esteemed franchise, that you shouldn't have to do trickery to beat the team right in front of you that you're battling with. That's right. So why did Manny take steroids and David Ortiz take steroids? You know.
That's old stuff we're talking about? Yeah, exactly. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Hey, listen. Now, for the people that I have been hearing on the side that say that he's cheating, they actually do say exactly what Eric just said. They say, this is a guy that's well-respected in the game. Absolutely. And for him to do that is beneath him. And, you know, he came out after me. He goes, yep, you're right. He goes, yeah, it didn't hit me. He admitted, yeah, you're right. I was trying to get on base. That's my job. A thousand times out of a thousand. A thousand times out of a thousand. How do you reconcile that it's lying? Because I'm playing a game and my job is to get on base and win. Strategy. Period. Same reason a kicker does a flop when nobody touches him. Same reason a guy in basketball does a flop when nobody charges him. It's sports. What's that teaching our kids, though? Is it, dude? You know what's bad teaching our kids is to take steroids and things like that. I'm with you on that, too. Teaching your kid to win at all, not at all costs, but at something that's not even that big a deal. Win at all costs. No, no. I'm not saying at all costs. If you don't cheat, you can't win.
It happens in every sport. And you know what? Had this been... Yeah, soccer ruins the game. Yeah, soccer. There's nothing worse than... Hey, Woodsy, maybe you do this. Maybe you get a big chalkboard for your kid and you're like, okay, listen, you're 12 years old. It's time you know what to lie about. Oh, well, no, no, no. But I'll tell you what. Johnny, hang on a second. Here's what we can lie about. It's called unwritten rules, man. There's unwritten rules. There's unwritten rules in sports. Okay, okay, okay. Can't lie about, can't lie about. And here's some unwritten rules, son. Absolutely. Anybody that's a baseball fan or a football fan knows there's unwritten rules. And seriously, if this was Mark DeRosa, do you think anybody would give a crap? But because Jeter's had a 15-year career being squeaky clean. Yeah. They're going to hold the guy to the fire. And that's fine. Nobody would say anything about Mark DeRosa. And that's fine. Nobody would say anything about Mark DeRosa, but that doesn't change the fact that Mark DeRosa would have still been guilty. Absolutely. But it wouldn't have been national media. It wouldn't have been national attention. No, but... This actually happened in a Red Sox game three weeks ago that nobody's talking about. What are you implying there? What do you mean? Are you saying...
This isn't a big deal. It's just being made a big deal of. Okay. Absolutely. And everybody that watches baseball in here is nodding their heads. There is no way we can be done talking about this. We have to break. I'm done talking about it. No, you're not, sir. Because we got people calling right now. They got bigger frigging fish to fry than worrying about Jeter getting hit. And they lost the game. So who cares? Woodsy, most people agree with you and they're calling right now. 570-194-9. And so we actually have to find people that don't agree. 570-194-9. And I want to hear from more M1s here in the studio who are here in force and making noise this morning. The Mikey Show's on. We'll be right back. The topic this morning is what kind of scoundrel is Derek Jeter? 570-1949. Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. A scoundrel with six rings. That is true. What's up? That is true. So Woodsy has a poker thing, he said. Well, here's the deal. When you're playing poker, you bluff, right? Yeah.
You don't tell everybody what you got. Right. It's bluffing. Right. Had Jeter turn around and goes, it hit me, it hit me, it hit me, it hit me, it hit me. And he even admitted after the game, hey, it didn't hit me. I'm trying to get on base. Right. Admitted he lied. Yeah. Right. By feigning and bluffing. Right. Saying that he hurt. So, I mean, somebody in here said, it's kind of like poker. I mean, you don't really show your hand. Right. Now, for me, the difference between the two is that one of them is a rule. And one of them is a... violation of a rule. In other words, with poker, if you were to walk up to the pit boss, okay, at the poker table, and before the poker game begins, you say to the pit boss, hey, listen, how are you with me? That'd be okay. Yeah, I mean, that's a good point. I think the pit boss might go, okay. I'm okay with that. That's a good point. But I think if you're a baseball player and you walk up to the umpire before the game begins and you go, hey, if I'm not really hit, But I pretend that I'm hit. Is that okay? I have a feeling they would say, well, no, that's against the rules. You can't do that. And that's all the conversation is about is whether you can or whether you can't. I would call him a – I wouldn't label – I'd say that, yeah, he cheated on that play, right? I mean, he's – I wouldn't label him a cheater because after the game he goes, yeah, you're right. That's exactly what I was trying to do. I was trying to get on base. You know what would be a great question? Which is my job. What would be a great question, even though we probably know the answer, would be would you do it again?
A thousand percent. He would, right? A thousand percent. So would anybody on any baseball team in any league? Yeah, I mean, I get it. I get it. That's what I'm saying, you know. Because you know what? How many times has Jeter been hit by the ball and they didn't give him first base? Probably a lot. Yeah. Probably a lot. So, I mean, things tend to even themselves out. I mean, listen. If I'm going to get all huffy and puffy about this, then how come I don't get huffy and puffy when... a pitcher intentionally gets back because, you know, payback for what you did, blah, blah, blah. I mean, that's not in the rule book, but a part of the game. You know what I mean? Am I really going to? You'll cheer guys, and we'll all cheer guys, and we all have cheer guys who've taken steroids. You know? Yeah, but that's not why. No, no, but right here in our own town, I mean, there's people that have taken steroids, and we're like, get on the field, kick some ass, man. Yeah, but we didn't go. Shoot up. No, we didn't. No. And I'm not saying go out and pretend to get hit by the pitch. I'm saying. Aren't you? No. Aren't you going to? Dude, good way to act it up. No, but I'm saying that he did what he did and then he admitted he was wrong. That's like your bit. Yeah, that's cool. You know? But my bit is also.
My bid is also admit it and then don't keep doing it. Well, right. And I'm saying. And you're like, oh, I think he probably would. But I bet you the next time it happens, which probably is going to happen pretty soon because that's how the rules of baseball work. Right. It's like you get in the game. If you're sitting on the bench for seven innings and you get in the game, the ball is going to find you, period. No matter where they put you, it's coming to you, and you know that. So it's kind of unwritten. M1, Sean from San Diego agrees with Woods, right? Weird. Hey, Woodsy, what's up? It's Sean, man. From the team? Yeah, Sean Merrow. This is our catcher. Yeah, he's a tipsy crow. So really, there's the rule, man. If you're up to bat and a guy comes up and in on you, I'm going to wear that pitch 100 out of 100 times because my job is to get on base. It's not my job to come up and hit home run. My job is to come up and get on base so the next guy can come up and get on base. That's what you do. Yeah. To follow your argument earlier, I got hit last week. Last week. Didn't call it. Didn't call it. Got hit him right on the leg. And he started to walk down to first. And I'm just like, where are you going? So, I mean, it does work itself out. And I get hit almost every game. Every game. So, I mean, I get nailed every game. You're darn right that a guy comes up and in on me and one's pretty close. I'm going to drop the bat and start walking and see if he says, all right, take your base. And if he does.
Fine with me. Yep, because it evens out. Shawnee got drilled in the leg. I mean, he's like, ow, you know, he drops his bat, and the guy's like, no, no, no, come back here and hit. And the next pitch went down looking and was furious, as he should have made, because he got hit. Yeah. And that's happened to DJ in his career for sure. Yeah. Hey, dude, thanks for calling. I appreciate it. You don't worry about him. M1 John from San Diego. Morning. Good morning. Hey, so professional sports, if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. Come on, look at it that way. Woods wants to agree with it. I want to agree, but. You ain't cheating, you ain't trying. It's not as bad as Coach Bombay and the Mighty Ducks. He tried to train them to cheat. It's different in getting an edge. Maybe you get a t-shirt for that for your kid. You get your kid a t-shirt that says, if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. It's different getting an edge than cheating. Put that on a t-shirt, too, for your kid. It's different getting an edge than cheating. So would you, so would you, so would everybody in here. Get an edge. If you can get an edge, take it. In sports, especially in professional sports. Talk to me about what would you... Legally. Legally. And I'm not saying, yeah, take steroids. It's not illegal what Derek Cheater did. It's illegal when people take steroids because they're illegal. How about this? I'm your kid and I go, Daddy, what do you think of that? What do you say? I say Derek Cheater is a great guy. He's never been in any trouble.
This was a bad move on his part, and it's made him look really bad. But you're saying that he can do it again. I'm not saying that he can. I'm saying that he probably will. Should I do that, Daddy? What? In my game. If you get hit? No, if I don't get hit. If the baseball bat gets hit. I'll tell you what, son. When you are the starting shortstop for the New York Yankees and you're a captain making $20 million a year, abso-freaking-lutely. But not in my game? No, not in your game. You're a good guy. I like you, Woodsy. That's good. That's sweet. Do you mean that? Yeah, I mean that. Shouldn't he be calling him dad instead of Woodsy? I mean that. You really do? When I turn the mics off and I go, do you mean that? You're going to go, no, not at all. Yeah, I meant that. You meant it. Yes, I meant that. I stand behind that. You would say to your kid, no, you don't do that. But when you're Jeter, you can't. Yeah. All right. Or when you're a professional kicker or a linebacker or, you know. Something else. But not in your Pop Warner. Not in your Pop Warner. Not in high school. Not in Little League. I see a little smile right here. There's no smile. I see a little bit of a smile curling over here. It's called getting an edge. You've done it in radio. I've done it. Everybody's tried to get the edge and get the upper hand. Period. Period. Yeah. What? Period. You're going to stick like that. It's going to stick like that? Yeah. I'll tell you what. So he's a big, fat liar? No, I didn't say that. What is he?
He's a cheater. He's not a cheater. He's not a cheater. I'm not going to call him something. I'm going to say that he cheated. And admitted it. And will do it again. Never know. I don't have a crystal ball. You knew 20 minutes ago. I'm not fortune telling. Do you have tarot cards? I don't see. I don't see. Get your crystal ball out and let's look and make sure he's going to do it again. You said he would. No, I said he would if given the chance. Probably. I mean, nine times out of ten, these guys would. Anybody would. Everybody agrees with you, Woodsy. M1 Nick is calling from La Jolla. Are you there? Yeah. Nick, what do you think? I agree with Woodsy. I hate to say the S word, but it's just like in soccer. Like, people diving, people trying to draw the foul. You know, people trying to draw the foul in basketball. It's like an unwritten part of the game, but hey, these people are professional athletes, and they're not exactly playing every rule that's not written. There you go. All right, man. Hey, I appreciate it. Thank you. Okay. The panel. The panel is where me and Woodsy and Lauren will bring up some topics that are going on out in the news and we'll discuss them. We get 20 seconds. It works exactly like... Pardon the interruption? Around the horn. Around the horn. Every day. Maybe I don't bring that up.
Maybe leave that one in your pocket. Maybe leave it alone. Let's see. Okay, so E, the E channel has a new show coming on. It's a reality show. Weird. Yeah. And it combines weddings and plastic surgery. Obviously. Yeah. They're calling it bridalplasty. Okay? Wow. And it's, by the way, it's not just plastic surgery. Of course, that's... wouldn't be far enough. It's what they call extreme plastic surgery. And so the brides to be will be competing in wedding themed challenges to win extensive surgical procedures. Each week, a group of women will compete head to head in things like writing wedding vows, planning honeymoons, that kind of thing. Winter receives a chance to choose a plastic surgery procedure from her quote. wish list. She's given the procedure immediately and results are shown at the start of the following week's episode. Are you kidding me? I was just thinking. You are kidding. There are probably so many ears out there that are like, what's that? The last bride standing will receive a, quote, dream wedding where she will reveal her new appearance to friends, family, and the groom. Woods? What? What do you think? What do I think? I think it's ridiculous.
I think it's ridiculous. I think it's absurd. It's another ridiculous reality show. Why, though? It's very... It's exploiting something. I don't know. I don't know what to talk about. You got me all spun out. I'm leaving. I'm gone. No, you did great. Every caller agreed with you. I'm done. Lauren O'Brien. Time's my flight. I'm flying with you, by the way. I'm out. Are you guys just... Getting in on my time real good. Yeah, wait a minute. You're right. Reset it. I'm restarting you. Go ahead. No, I'm not going to need the whole... I don't watch TV. Obviously, I'm not going to watch this, but there are plenty. It's going to do well. I think it's going to do. I think it's going to do really well. Would you watch it? No. No? I would never watch it. She likes girls. She's not going to watch that. Yeah. No, there's going to be people out there that are like, oh my gosh, I want to see what she got. I used to love this show called The Swan. You liked that show? No, no, no, I didn't like it. I loved it. It was a show where they took a girl that had potential. She was okay looking. They took an okay looking girl and they gave her all this plastic surgery and she became a beautiful swan. I thought that show was disgusting. How come? Because it's teaching people that it's all about what's on the outside. You're 100% right about that and I don't like that.
But, comma, I have to admit that I thought it was really amazing what they did. I mean, I like watching makeovers when Oprah's like, and here she is, and someone looks totally different. It's like, oh, my God. Yeah, but when it involves surgery where someone could die. Well, hang on a minute. And very rushed surgery, by the way. They're going to get it done quickly to have her out by Monday, by the following week. That's what they said. We're going to give her 87 procedures. Yeah, let's get it done quick. You're talking about this one? Yeah, that's a rush. Well, the swan was not. Right. I don't know what the swan is. I like girls. And they took a girl that was just average, and they made her into this almost like a model. Oh, boy. Almost. They made her into a model. Now, what they would do in a lot of cases, there were some girls who... Maybe their teeth were really bad. They gave them brand new, beautiful veneers. Expensive procedures. And they felt their confidence level went up. Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with plastic surgery. If that is what you really want, it really is going to change your outlook and everything. But I felt like the show was... The doctors would come in and be like, you got a little schtuckus here. And this is all crooked. Stuff that they hadn't even considered before. They're like, oh wow, okay, I suck.
And I agree with LOB that I want to teach my kids that it's not what's on the outside, that it's what's on the inside. But I also have to admit that it was interesting to watch these women transformed. It was interesting. Yeah, and I don't have... Did you see it? Yes. You did? Oh, wow. How dare her. Look, I thought it was disgusting, but it was interesting. We've had this conversation. This is part of the reason I got rid of TV. She just filleted me and she watched it. And she watched it. Well, but I thought every time I watched it, I'd be like, I hate this show. Me too. When is it going to be back from commercial? You couldn't turn away. I would get plastic surgery. I mean, you know, we've said it before. I'm going to get this thing sucked out one day. There's no question that this is coming out. Don't pull on it. The gullet is coming out someday. It's pulling on his chin. I have no problem with plastic surgery at all. Because I, you know. Honey, what do I think of it? Oh my gosh. What do I think? Mikey's consulting with his wife. I do this with everything. I go, babe, what do I think of that? She goes, tell me how I feel. Tell me how I feel. Come here. Oh, boy. Sweet little darling. Sit on my lap. It's creepy. Rebecca, that's what he does to me all the time. Yeah. What do I feel? I think that you feel that, you know, you have to kind of assess the whole person.
And how much time and effort and energy is spent on like the inside, you know, versus like if you wanted to get plastic surgery and that was how you spent your time and attention, like being so concerned and caught up with your outward appearance and you didn't consider or take time in trying to improve, you know, your inner. Let's say you did. Is it cool? You and I have talked about it. And I think that. we both agree that it's cool as long as that's not what you like put your hope in and that's not what you like spend. Put all your stock in it. Like Octomom has. She's done 70 procedures or Heidi Montag. You know what I mean? These people that live for plastic surgery. Now listen, you can think what everybody can think whatever they want. Octomom has been, you know, her character, her personality, all that stuff is whatever. But I,
I actually think Octomom is an attractive lady. Okay, see? And a lot of that has to do with what you think of her. It's like back in the day when you would say, Paris Hilton's really pretty. People would go, ugh. No, Paris, that's unquestionable. But they would say that because... She's pretty. Yeah. Well, she's an idiot, but she's pretty. You don't think that Octomom not being attractive has anything to do with the fact that she made herself look like a cartoon? Right. Well, yeah, I know that's why she looks attractive. But it's not all about the... crazy things that she does, she's actually not really appealing to the eye because she's mutilated. See, I don't think that she's not appealing to the eye. Oh, I do. You get a good look at her? Well, hang on a minute. I'll take that back. I think that maybe she went a little far with the lips. Yeah. A little too much Angelina. Yeah, a little Angelina in there. But, okay. So that was supposed to be 20 seconds. And it wasn't. Five minutes.
All right, how about this? Katy Perry is a pop singer, and she sings like this. This is very good. That's what she does. Can you get that one more time? Oh, oh. Thank you. What's your favorite Katy Perry song, L.O.B.? I think that California Girl song, because my six-month-old niece really likes it. That's cute. It's dangerous. You like it, too, when you're cleaning. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. L.O.B. likes to listen to pop music and clean. in her underwear. That makes my mouth water. Oh, gosh. And so... Why didn't you ask me what my favorite Katy Perry song is? I like girls. No, actually, I like Hot and Cold. I like that song. I'll tell you right now. You actually do. Yeah, I do. That's the missus. She'll tell you. Run around the house singing it. I challenge that. Really? I don't believe that you actually run around the house.
I love it. We all saw his poker face dance, didn't we? Can you do it again? What are you talking about? I don't like that song. That's not my poker face. That's my Mick Jagger. That's Mick Jagger. So that's Katy Perry. That's great. So Katy Perry goes back to her old high school and she does a performance. And while she's there, she sees in the audience somebody that she knew from high school. And she says, You know, isn't that John, you know, John, what, oh, does it say his name? Is that actually how his name? Have you read the article I highlighted? All right, I got you. Shane Lopez. She goes, oh, is that Shane Lopez there? I can't believe I fell in love with Shane Lopez. And then she says, yeah, so you were trying to decide between me and Amanda Wayne. She goes, oh, yeah, you really chose right, honey.
Wow. What's up now, playa? Wow. Easy. I mean, this guy, he came to see her. He's mortified, by the way. Mortified. Like he's there because he's like, oh, I want to see Katie. It's been a while. It's been a while. And so she says this. And then she follows it up by saying, that's cool. I got mine. And then mockingly blew him a kiss. Then she says. Classy. Because she's not done. Then she says. I'm going to dedicate this next song to him. And I don't know what the song is, but she starts singing. I don't. Come on, you dude. For the next three hours, it's me versus you. What have I said about Katy Perry, though? I don't know. That you think that she's not wholesome. That it's catchy, but that I hate the stuff that she's saying.
You're so gay? Is that the name of the song? Maybe that's it. I think she has a song. It starts out, and the first thing she starts singing is, you're so gay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're so gay? She has a song called You're So Gay? I think it is. Oh, my gosh. It's provocative. But sometimes LLB just says stuff. Sometimes I do. Sometimes she does. But I'm pretty sure she does. Yeah, she's like, I think she has a song. It is. Yes. You're so gay. Yes. Provocative. Fiona Apple called. She wants her sound back. That's one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Well, anyway, I guess the topic of conversation here is, well, if you had the opportunity to get back at the guy that didn't choose you, would you? Woods? Well, there's many guys that didn't choose me in high school, and I'm still very upset about it. I told you, there's a guy that messed with me in high school, and he's going to get his one day. Real good. I guess I don't have a problem with it.
I thought I did, but I don't. Was that Roy Friend? No, Roy Friend took care of business. This guy, he's going to get his. Yeah, he was just mean to you. Yeah, he's a little P-word. All right, got it. Guy liked to come up with five of his buddies, not one-on-one, real good. He'll get his. Lauren O'Brien. Well, I used to, I can't sing, but I used to imagine that one day I'd get this like musical inclination and I'd be like at a coffee shop, like singing like love songs and all the guys that wronged me would like walk through the door and I'd be like, that's right. But I'd think it. I wouldn't say it. And that's so mean. She's just mean. And that's a bad thing to set for all the kids that watch her. I don't even need to go. Lauren just said it all. This is mean. Yeah, it's mean. It's mean. And hey, Katie. The fact that you are beautiful and the fact that you are. Juggie. Successful. Juggie. And the fact that you are now world. World famous. World famous. Isn't that enough? Isn't that enough for you? He gets it. The funny thing is, is this guy in the article was like, I mean, we were friends. Like we were always friends. We've always been friends. So I don't know what her bit was doing this to me. Yeah. Yeah.
He felt bad for the guy. He's like, hey, I didn't know you liked me. I had no idea. I bet you for the first, like, five seconds, because she was like, hey, I see Shane Lopez. He was probably like, oh, cool, I'm going to get a shout out. And then all of a sudden, he's like, whoa, whoa. Easy, easy. I worked at a radio station a long time ago. And I was really, really nice to this girl. And she was really, really mean to me. And she got drunk one night, years later. and sent me an instant message and said, I'm really sorry about that. I had a crush on you. That's so weird. Is this the same girl with the fan? It's different. The fan. The heater fan? Your roommate with the fan. No. No. You just had girls crushing on you? Just real good. Babe. Your wife's here. No. I knew he was going to be here. The topic. Well, the reason. Forget it. You know, I mean, I just, I can't. Sorry. Wah, wah. Well, the reason that I brought it up is because, isn't that, you ever been in a situation, and Lauren, have you ever done, you do it when you're a kid, but what do I always say? We're all grown up kids. And why? Is that more prevalent with women or men? What, the vindication thing? No, no, no, no. If you have a crush on somebody being mean. I think it's a girl thing. No, because.
I remember my mom used to say that. I'd come home crying and say, this boy is so mean to me. And she would say, he probably has a crush on you. That's a bit, though, I think. To make you not feel bad. I think it's a bit. Oh, look at Lauren. Just put her head down. I think it's a bit. I think it's a bit, L.O.V. I think it's a bit. I think your mom was giving you a bit. Everybody knows that that's the bit we're going to give our kids. Right. Woods is like, he just couldn't stand you. Yeah, he just really didn't like it. Oh, boy. I think it's a bit. I think maybe that's the case. My dad told me the guy that used to pick on me probably liked me. Just a bit. Yeah. Son, it's just that he's attracted to you. He's attracted. He wants you. And so just leave it alone, and eventually he'll move on to another guy. Let it play out. That's right. Let it play out. 570-1949 is our number. And if you want to text us, go ahead. It's 949mikey at gmail.com. Jon Stewart announced. that he's going to do something called the rally to restore sanity. And then Stephen Colbert responded with something that he's going to do called the march to keep fear alive. And did you know that the president of the California NAACP is supporting the legalization of marijuana in California? And what I think is one of the dumbest, craziest arguments I've ever heard. All of it coming up. Plus, I got to tell you what Woods did that is just.
Enormous. Enormous. Big round of applause from everybody sitting here today. Live studio audience. We'll be back. Let's hear it for Cater2U. They are amazing. Cater2U has come in and done catering for us before. And they're really, really good. And today... They brought Wahoo's fish tacos. Delicious. Yeah. Woodsy is feasting on some nachos right now. Nachos. What are they? Tortilla chips, right? Tortilla chips, yep. Really good. Full service catering. And they brought Wahoo's today. It's really, really good. Wahoo's, by the way, locations in La Jolla, the sports arena. Best fish taco.
In Southern California, they were voted the best fish taco in Southern California. You want to go to their website, Cater2U. It's Cater2Usd.com. Cater2Usd.com. And they will donate 10% of their proceeds to Rady Children's Hospital. How great is that? Oh, dude, I love that stuff. Speaking of Rady Children's Hospital, we are... in the process of raising money for Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute. And the way that we're doing it is something called Trade Up for Charity, which, by the way, is ending today. Now, here's what we're talking. We are talking about the fine folks over at Surf Ride Board Shop. They are so cool. What they did was we had a surfboard. And they said, listen, we will take that surfboard, which is worth 500 bucks. And we're going to give you a custom shaped Steve Boyson surfboard, quick silver wetsuit and surf lessons valued at a thousand bucks. That's what we have right now. And if somebody wants to trade us that, you know, you want all that stuff and you got something worth more than a thousand bucks, you can call us at 570-1949.
And we will help you out with that. And then at the end of this thing, we're going to put it on eBay, whatever we end up with, and put it on eBay. And that money will go to Rady Children's Hospital. Really kind of a cool thing and a fun thing. And so hopefully we'll get some calls and people want to do that. I have that stuff coming up in a bit with Jon Stewart, president of the NAACP here in California. First... M1 Steve-O from Escondido. You there? Yeah, what's up, Mikey? What's going on, dude? Dylan, just first off, I wanted to say congrats on the new show, man. I'm really digging the chemistry you guys have. Thank you, bro. And just, you know, I wanted to call in. I'm getting married tomorrow. And a fellow man of faith, I just wanted to see if you had any words of wisdom coming from a successful marriage thus far. Well, first of all, congratulations, dude. Congratulations for getting married tomorrow. and the words of wisdom that I will give you are the words of wisdom that my mom and dad gave me. There are going to be times where you're going to go through really, really hard times with your spouse. How old are you? 29. Okay, expect that the first year will be extraordinarily difficult. First year of any marriage is generally...
This is generalization, but the first year of any marriage is generally pretty tough. So know that going in. The second thing is, is that there are going to be times that challenge you during your marriage where you're actually going to consider splitting up because you're going to be so upset and you're going through a season of your life and of your marriage where you don't want to be together anymore. And you think that you've drifted apart. You think that you don't love each other. And if she happens to know some guy that happens to think that she's attractive, it's going to get into her head that maybe the grass is greener. And if you meet a girl during this time that's rough, that's attractive, and she's attracted to you, you may get into this mind frame of, man, this is probably what's meant for me. And this was a mistake that I made in this marriage and blah, blah, blah. Don't believe that. And don't split up. That was the advice my dad and my mom gave to me. They said they just didn't split up when they wanted to. And they wanted to a few times. They didn't. And you will find that about a year or what, who knows? You will find that in the future you will be laughing with your spouse again. And you'll be having a great time with your spouse again.
But you have to stick to it. And then lastly, I want to tell you this because I've given this thing a million times. This concept of love and respect. Men and women both want love and respect. Men want to be loved. Men want to be respected. Women want to be loved. Women want to be respected. But we in men and women are wired differently in what we respond to. Men respond to. being respected and the better way to say that is men take it much harder than women do when they're disrespected it's a male thing that we have built in we take it much much more personally it cuts much deeper a woman responds to loving um behavior in a different way than guys do for instance
If you leave a note on a guy's car, he'll think it's cool. But if you leave a note on a woman's car, her heart melts. If you send a guy a little gift to his work, like flowers or something like that, he'll probably think it's kind of lame. But if you send flowers for no reason to your wife... She will not think it's lame. She will most likely think that you are a thoughtful, caring sweetheart. If you say those little loving things to her, you tell her every so often how beautiful she is. She responds differently than the way that a man does when those things happen. So it's a concept of love and respect. And don't split up, dude. Just don't split up. Thank you, man. I really appreciate it.
I feel like wedding crashing this weekend will be at the Ocean View Villas at 5 o'clock on Saturday. Yeah! That's great. That is great. Consider yourself fresh. You guys are more than welcome. I'll see you there. Thank you, man. Thank you. So, as you know, Okra Winfrey is going to be wrapping up a very long career of being on television. Is she? Yeah, I mean she's been on the air. She's going off network 25 years. She's going off one on to another She's going off network TV. Oh, so she's writing her network career Yeah, is that what she's doing is she coming out here? She yeah, she said she wanted to be out here where all the other studios were and everything and See you later Harpo. Let me just hang them up She's got the whole O network. I don't know if that's where she's going or what. In a magazine? Maybe hang it up. She's got an O network as well, I believe. Yeah. Maybe hang it up. Yeah, well, she says that she is. Nobody wants her to hang it up. How do you say you're hanging it up if you leave one to go to the other and you're still going to be on TV? How's that hanging it up? I don't know. That's like switching teams. I don't know. But what I do know is that she will definitely be missed. Right? Goodbye, Oprah, our friend.
Looks like you've lost some weight again. All the housewives have begun weeping. Your self-help books are now in safekeeping. You invented every author but Mark Twain. You like chow mein, your fat diet. I'd like to ask you for a loan. You've got more rocks than Fred Flintstone. You're gonna leave some giant shoes to fill. Your ego's bigger than Kim Jong-il. You made us think that your farts were a ray of light. And that ain't right. Your fad diet. She's big on the fad diets. Huge on the fad diets. Obviously. Actually, she's smaller when she's on the fad diets. It's true. Obviously. It's true. Can you tell?
Yeah, for sure. So, as you know, Woodsy likes to surf, okay? I try. Yeah. I try. You're getting pretty good at it. I'm getting okay. You're doing all right. Mm-hmm. And Woodsy, sometimes, because he plays baseball. Softball. And softball, play both. Yeah. Because you do that, you get a little sore. Yeah, and I'm old and out of shape. Mm-hmm. Mm. And so sometimes when you're starting to feel a little sore, you take a little anti-inflammatory and it just calms everything right down, right? Yeah. Usually I'll take some Advil and I feel better. It's a tradition. I kind of take two or three Advil before I go do anything. If I'm playing baseball, two or three Advil and it gets the job done. So you was going surfing and same bit, took the three Advil.
And went out there and started surfing. Not sure if it was something you ate or whatever, but before you know it, you start to feel like things are not so good. I felt like I was dying. Death was marching towards me. And do you want to tell the rest? Do you want me to tell the rest? Well, you continued to surf a little bit, didn't you? You actually got it wrong. I did? What did I say? Sorry you got it wrong. Here's what happened. I went surfing on a Tuesday, okay? Yeah. And I was so sore. I got hammered and worked when I was out there. And I woke up and I was like, but I wanted to go out again the next day. So I was like, all right, I can do this. So I'm just going to take my Advil, stretch, and then I'll go out. Jamie's getting us ready for the beach, the whole thing. And all of a sudden, I don't know where I'm like, wait, wait. I'm like, I don't want to lay down for a minute. And I laid down on the couch and I slept for eight hours straight. And I'm not kidding. Mouth open. Jamie's on the couch like, babe, babe, are we going to the beach? I'm like, shut up. Leave me alone. I felt like I was dying. Yeah. My whole body had no energy. Yeah. I would get up and like try to eat something. I couldn't eat. I was like something seriously, seriously wrong with me. Right. Slept again. I slept through the night. Okay. Like she like pulled me up to bed. I went to bed.
And I woke up and I was like, I felt fine. I was like, what did I do? You know, so no big deal. Something passes. Me and Winder playing a softball team. And I was like, we were getting ready to go play ball. So I go back to the drawer, pull open, get the Advil out. I'm going to take three more Advil. Literally pour them in my hand, have a glass of water. And I look down at the bottle and it's acetaminophen PM. PM. And I'm like. I almost took these three before our game. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like, I started freaking out. I was like, that's what I took before we went surfing. And I've never. I was scared, like, for my life. I was like, something's seriously wrong with me. Thank God you didn't go out in the water. Oh, I know. I would have died. I would have died. You would have drowned. I'm dying. I'm dying. It was. Hey, babe. Yeah, it was insane. Call Mikey. Yeah. Can you tell Mikey I'm not coming in tomorrow? Yeah. Because I obviously have malaria or something. Did I get ripped by a mosquito? I was dying. So literally, I had it in my hand. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm such an idiot. How did you do that? How did I do what? What happened? There's this big bottle of acetaminophen. Acetaminophen? Is that right? Acetaminophen? And I just...
Just didn't think, and I opened it up, poured them in, took them down, and then was about to do the same thing. So now I know that the big bottle of the blue pills is, you know, don't eat those. The other bottle of the blue pills. The other bottle of the blue pills, right. Yeah, my other blue pills. Let's see. Jay, what do we have as a prize with movie plot hot potato? We've got tickets to Spoon. Tickets to see Spoon? Okay, cool. 570-194-9 if you want to play Movie Plot Hot Potato. The way that it works is that we have a hot potato. It looks like a baseball. Weird, because it is a baseball. Because it is a baseball. We have a hot potato, and is it always you and Jay, or does L.O.B. play? I don't know. You tell me. It's your show, pal. You play, right? No, I haven't been allowed to. No. Any of the reindeer games. You can play Movie Plot Hot Potato. I want to.
You want to? Oh, wow. What's this looking at me like? What if she doesn't know any movies? Yeah. I know movies. Jay and I picked the movies, but yeah, you're more than welcome to. How would she do? Would she do good? Would you know movies? I know movies. You do? Do you know movies? Yeah, I mean. That's the issue. That's the issue, right? It's if Mikey knows it. I'll just go F myself. Yeah! All right, Jay, come in here. All right, Jay's coming in. 570-194-9. And this is the way that it's going to work. They have to try to get the movie out of their hand as quickly as they can. And you have to guess the movie. And I have to guess the movie. Which could be scary. Because I don't know. You know? Hopefully I do. Our first contestant is M1 Miley. Are you there, Miley? Yeah, I'm here. Miley from San Diego. How you doing? Good. Okay. Now, I'm going to be playing... I'm the person that's going to decide whether you win or lose, okay? This is for spoon tickets. All right, hang on. Now let me see. I'm going to use this right here, Jay. Okay, that's my clock. You've got 60 seconds. Wait, wait, wait. There we go. There we go. Is that working? Check, check. Here we go. All right, and so they're going to describe the plot to me. As soon as I guess the movie title, they will...
Hand the potato off to someone else. If that buzzer goes off and they're left with the movie in their hand, then they lose. They take a BB, maybe. Yeah, take a BB. I'll take a BB. Okay. You know what's weird is you're really close to me this time. Usually we throw the ball from a little farther away. That's true. Where are we going to do the BB? I don't know. Out there. We'll open this door. You can shoot me or I'll shoot him up against the table. You'll be fine. We'll figure it out. All right, cool. Nobody can get hurt. We're professionals. You know that. Now, doesn't somebody have to pick you and somebody has to pick you? Yeah. Okay, so we got somebody. Let's see. Miley, I'm giving you Woods, okay? Okay. Probably what she wanted anyway. Hang on the line. And our next contestant is M1 Bree. No, it is not M1 Bree. It is M1 Brent. There we go. Brent, are you there? I'm still here. All right, Brent, you've got Jay, okay? Okay. Yeah, here we go. Hang on the line. Let's do this. Hang on the line. Okay. 60 seconds. And away we go. Ben Stiller falls in love with the girl, zips his piece up in his jeans. Something about Mary. Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, aliens come from outer space. War of the Worlds. Uma Thurman is getting revenge with these people with these swords. Kill Bill.
Mel Gibson, he's quit the priesthood because his wife was killed, pinched between a car and a tree, and all these things are coming out in the corn bushes because the aliens have come down from space. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's no whispering from the crowd. Dude, oh, it's M. Night Shyamalan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gosh. That's it. What? Dang. I was going to say stop. Somebody's getting a BB. Come on. What is it? What is it? You've got this. Signs. Signs. Movie you ask me to see every day. Every day. Inception. Robin Williams. He dressed up like an old lady. It acts. It acts. It buzzed. It buzzed. Yes. Yes. Jay. This is why Lauren doesn't get to play because there's a BB involved. Jay, you lose. I'm afraid it is time for you. To take a BB. Now, the person that had Jay was Brent, so sorry about that, Brent. Do you ever wonder if Mikey just takes enough time trying to get the right thing to get a BB? That's what I'm trying to think. Jay, I'm telling you, I try my guts out for that. M1, Miley Woods won for you, okay? Hang on the line. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to see. You ready? Go. Oh, wow. Oh, that looked like it hurt. I'm talking.
Let's just say I split the uprights on that one. You did. You did. Yes, I did. You really did. Oh, preparation H, here I come. Yeah, you might want to put some gauze on that. 570-1949 is our number. I really do love movie plot hot potato. It just stresses me out. I get so nervous. I'm trying so hard. I can't believe you almost didn't come out with Inception. I know. Well, I'm telling you. It'll be movies. Like, I know the movie Signs. Yeah, you do. But when you hear it, you're like... So the NAACP here in California says we support the legalization of marijuana. We'll tell you why they said it. We'll actually play you the audio of why they said it. And we got all kinds of cool stuff. Don't go away. Make some noise in here. Woo! Yeah! Yeah! It's the Mikey Show with a live studio audience here in our brand new studio. And back after this. Welcome back to the Mikey Show where we have a live studio audience. Yeah! Very nice. Let's see. We got so much stuff. The Mikey Show is me, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, who came and visited yesterday, but she is out on maternity leave. And Jay and our phone screener, Crab! That's Crab! That's Crab!
So let's dive into this. NAACP. NAACP says that they would like to support the legalization of marijuana in California. If you look at the disproportionate number of arrests that happens in our community, the law is not being applied equitably across the board. Therefore, we're targeted, and that makes us believe that it's a civil rights issue. Okay, do I understand this incorrectly? Or am I hearing her say, who is she talking about when she says we're targeted? I believe she's talking about African Americans. Okay. Whoopi, a black woman, just said, do you mean black people? Look, we live in a PC world. That's right. You better be careful. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in like 15 minutes. I'm going to go. I'll be back in like 15 minutes. So if she's saying that black people are who make up the majority of marijuana arrests and the answer to that is to legalize pot, okay.
Well, the majority of serial killers happen to be middle-aged white guys. Maybe we legalize serial killing because it seems to me that it's disproportionate when it comes to serial killers and white guys. Can I play devil's advocate? Sure, I need it. I know. Serial killing is not something that's even been considered to legalize, as marijuana has been for medicinal purposes, other things like that. I get it. I get what you're saying. I get what Mikey's saying. I get what Mikey's saying. But the answer to African-American people or white people or anybody getting arrested for something that's illegal is not to legalize it. That's not the right answer. But marijuana has been something that's been kicked around as something that, in a lot of people's opinions, should be legal. This is Ron Allen from the International Faith-Based Coalition talking about... her comments. If Martin Luther King could know that our oldest civil rights organization is calling legalizing their drug civil rights, he would turn over in his grave. I agree. I think so too. I think it's strange. I mean, I've been considered a hippie before. Does that mean I'm being prejudiced against because a lot of people that I hang out with like to smoke pot? Hmm.
I don't know. I've had such an inner battle with that whole situation of legalizing marijuana. I mean, I used to be like, yeah, man, it's just a plant. It comes from the earth. It's good for you. But I'll tell you what. I read an article by Robert Downey Jr. that said it's like banging your knee into the coffee table, and you think because it's pot, it's got rounded corners. And it's just not the case. I mean, my dad told me, hey, if you smoke pot, you're going to do something else. I was like, get out of here. Because I got caught smoking pot. My doctor ratted me out to my parents that I was smoking pot. And I got caught. You were 18, too. I was 18, too. Which was, oh, you want to see the kid and hit the roof? That was the day. Hurts atmosphere. Hurts atmosphere like crazy. But, you know, the more and more I thought about it, I was like, oh, yeah, absolutely. Tried pot. Then I was like, yeah, I'll try some mushrooms, acid, whatever. And then, you know, you go down the list. And because you get used to one, it does. Now, I mean, I know from experience it made it a lot easier to try something else. Well, yeah, you know me. I'm not for the legalization of drugs. And, by the way, I think that alcohol is a much worse drug than marijuana. I think so, too. I really do, too. But the fact of the matter is that right now marijuana is illegal. I mean, I think, you know.
oxycontin and things like that those are 50 times worse than marijuana per se but um it's just not the world we live in right now you know and and i think anything i think you can abuse pot i think you can absolutely abuse pot i know guys that have abused pot and that's all they did for you know six months just get high but the the pills and stuff are prescribed and that's why they're prescribed and you can't just go get them pick them up from the store so how do you feel mike about the marijuana being prescribed for people. If a doctor sees that, okay, this is going to help glaucoma or whatever. Well, listen, I think that that's fantastic. The problem is, is that that's, that's what it needs to be. Right. And you know, um, this whole bit about, well, you know, the reason that we have to smoke it is because the bloodstream absorbs it a lot quicker that way. Well, then why don't we smoke Vicodin? You know, if that's the thought there, why don't they put it in a delivery system where you can smoke it or even inhale it? Why don't we build, why don't we engineer, let me get chemists together, engineer a form of oxycodone that you go, because it's such a fast delivery system. Maybe it's different. I don't know. They do have THC inhalers. I know that. You know how long it takes?
It takes 15 minutes for something to absorb into your blood system. I mean, you've waited this long for it to become legal. I think you could wait 15 minutes for the pot to hit your system with your pot pill. It's just that, you know, it's a little bit... It isn't the THC that a lot of people are really looking for. They want to get high. And not only do they want to get high, they want to get high on some government-grade weed. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Somebody got glaucoma and marijuana is going to help them. I'm all for it. But what I'm not all for is people that are like, I'm going to go get some weed because I know it's real easy. That's abuse of something, of a system, if nothing else. Bill Clinton's daughter got married. You're darn right she did. Chelsea got married, and here's what Bill said about it. Congratulations to you, by the way. Congratulations on the wedding. of your daughter what a lovely event it seemed to be I obviously uh sent my you know couldn't make it RSVP even though obviously I wasn't actually invited but but so how did it feel was it was it extremely emotional was it difficult to do it was very emotional but it was before you listen to his response I want to point something out to you and see if you notice it see if you observe it it sounds like he is
really trying to choose his words, Bill Clinton. Doesn't he always? Yeah, but I mean, especially. This is especially. Sounds like he may have had a THC inhaler before. I didn't inhale. I didn't inhale. I made love to my secretary, but I did not inhale. That's what you call making love? That's right. A little rocky dude. Difficult to do. It was very emotional, but it was, you know, it's one of those passages in life. It makes you, Feel like, you know, your child has finally really grown. Right. I love my son-in-law and I admire him. Do you? I got a question. I wanted to do this wedding just the way she wanted. I want to kill him, but I love him. I love my son-in-law. I got a question. I have to. I got a question for you guys. What's that speech like from Bill to his son-in-law? Hey, I want you to always be true to her. Oh, wow. I want you to take care of her. Okay. I don't want you to ever disrespect her. The guy's like, all right. Really, pal? Yeah.
Define disrespect, Mr. President. He's like, if I ever find out that you're messing around on my daughter, I'll kill you. Yeah. He's like, really? Yeah. Hi, pot. I'm kettle. Yeah. You're black. Yeah. It's my contribution to the economic stimulus. I bet. How much do you think that ran? $500,000. Easy. More? A million bucks. No, we did it all for $1,000. That's what's amazing. We did it down at Sizzler. Yeah, we went to Sizzler. That's where the reception was. It was real good. KFC. John Mayer, did you know that he quit Twitter? We talked about that, right? He quit Twitter and, well, I don't know. You decide. Is he... Is he putting Twitter down or is he not putting Twitter down? So first of all, everyone's talking about it this week. You, oh my God, you deleted your Twitter account. Is Twitter dead to you? What's going on? No, I mean, I was thinking about how I would answer that without sounding like I was criticizing anyone else for having it. I don't want to make any broad statements about society. I just didn't want to do it anymore. Just didn't want to do it anymore. Okay, that's a little bit more about it. They're just breaking the ice.
We're just trying to get you into the conversation here, John. But I really want to know what's going on. For me, I want to really delineate when I'm somebody that people know and when I'm just me at home. And I found that what Twitter was starting to do, and again, I'm not knocking it for anybody else because I don't want to make the press like, Mayor slams Twitter. You hate Twitter. You hate the people that run Twitter? You hate the people that use Twitter? I won't use any of the letters. in any word that are in Twitter. I just don't want to open that portal at home. I'll be on the couch at home, private time, me. And then you just sort of open up the portal to 4 million people and what they have to say about stuff. You know, I could give that a break for a minute. Now, that's the honest answer, I think. The honest answer is that he probably gets filleted on the Twitter. And he didn't want to see the... filleting anymore, which I totally understand it. But he has been saying that Twitter is a waste of time and it is what it is. You either like it or you don't. But it isn't that it's a waste of time, John. It's that people are killing you. If I had one thing to say to John Mayer, say what you mean to say. Yeah! Say what you mean to say.
So anyway. He's kind of right. I mean, I don't know. Well, he is right. You do open it up, but you know that going in. Yeah. It's not like you are sitting on your couch at home having private me time, and you go, holy cow, people are talking to me through my public Twitter account. And I thought he loved publicity. I thought he used to tip people off when he was dating Jennifer Aniston. Yeah? Right? Allegedly. So what's a big whoop? Lauren put something kind of interesting in her recap. And I think you may have even kind of alluded to it earlier. You were talking about your niece, right? And tell everybody this story. Well, my brother's little six-month-old niece, she was just in town, but I met her when she was about three months old. And at first, she did not like me. Now, define, did not like me. She started crying uncontrollably. At the sight of you. At the sight of me. She got calmed down, and then I was like, I came back into the room, and I was like, hey, and it happened again. I just felt so bad for it. My brother and his wife were trying to rationalize and be like, it's probably, and come up with all these reasons of why their three-month-old baby didn't like me. I'll come at you.
And Ruff talked him and run him off. But I just, you know, I felt bad for them. I was like, don't worry about it. She's a baby, whatever. But I was like, that's got to be so awkward for them as parents. And what about kids that are like three years old where you can't really make excuses for them? They just don't like certain people. Like dogs, too. I'm sure your dogs just don't like certain people. That is true. Yeah, like the first time I handed my son Jake over to my brother Sam and Jake vomited on him. Did he? And then cried. Until Sam had to hand. Jake, back to us. Oh, wow. That's one way to react. Yeah. Totally, totally not awkward at all. What did you do? Inwardly, we said, let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. And it was really uncomfortable. I bet. Yeah, because you can't, I don't know. I mean, I guess you can just try to make up excuses or whatever, but it's just so awkward for, except for the kid, it's so awkward for everyone involved. Deer dogs like me. Yeah, they like you. They're real sweet to you. Why do they bite you? They don't. Every time. They don't bite you. No, they don't bite you. They do like me? They're skeevy around little kids. That's really it. And they think I'm a toddler. Yeah, they think you're a toddler. Yeah, that's the reason. And so they get upset. No, your dogs do like me, right? Very much. My dogs like everybody. Yeah. They're sweet. But you've seen dogs. I mean, what do you do when dogs are just like, I've seen that happen to people before. Didn't our cat Jules bite you?
No. Not you. Who did Jules bite? Was it Sienna? Was it Sienna? And Sienna hates black cats anyway. Yeah. No offense, Eric. He bit somebody and they go, why are you biting me now? Wow. No offense, Eric. Wow. That's genius. I've never seen a black guy blush before. Fantastic. You don't remember? You don't remember? Anybody here ever have that happen where a kid doesn't like you or your kid doesn't like somebody? It's embarrassing or awkward or whatever. It is awkward. It is awkward. You don't know what to do. And you do. You try to make excuses. Well, your son Luke doesn't really like anyone. The world. The world. He doesn't really like anybody. No. No. He likes Mama. No? No, he does. He does like Mama. The thing is, is that your kids aren't always going to like people. That's a deal. Yeah. You can't guarantee that your kids are always going to like people. I'm always like, sorry. I don't know what to do. And they do the awkward, yeah. Baby likes you. It's not you. She's tired. Mm-hmm. Let's see. So my son Luke is a year old, and he's one of my twin boys. It's Luke and Ryan. They're a year old. Luke's on the phone. Hi, Luke. How are you doing? What am I doing? Are you just running mouth real good? What do you mean running? You mean running mouth real good. You're good? I'm not running mouth about you, Luke. Are you? No.
I'm saying that you're my son. That's all I said. Mm-hmm. Clapping your gums, chief. Maybe when you go to work, I'm doing finger quotes for work. You know, Luke, that's an unreasonable request because you're my son and I love you. Do you? Listen, Luke, you're a cute little guy. I know. Yeah, I know you do. I know that. And I don't want you to... I don't want you to do the things that you've been doing lately. Let me give you an example of some of the things I don't want you to do anymore. When I come home, I don't want to find empty beer cans because your father is a recovering alcoholic, and so you probably shouldn't leave empty beer cans all over the place. You shouldn't be drinking. You're not 21. Maybe 20 years from now you do that. I don't want to have to clean them up. You're too young to drink. You shouldn't do that, Luke.
And you also shouldn't yell at your brother nonstop. Who? Ryan. Who's Ryan? Ryan is your brother. It's not your room. You look like mommy. Yeah. I know you did. I get it. I get it. It's not your room. It's yours and Ryan's room. You share it. Don't call me dude. I'm not even going to shit anymore. I need some cash. I made a bet on the Chargers. Okay. And it didn't work out in my favor. And unless you want our tires slit and possibly our throats, maybe you loan me. Did you make a bet with like a baby? With babies? No, it's with my bookie. Can I say pissed? He's pissed. Well, you just did say it. You just did say it. And you shouldn't because you're one. Okay. I need money. Let me get off. Hit the ATM on your way home. I get off at 10. $1,200. $1,200?
You know what? I need a little flash money. Make it 14. What's flash money? What is that? Walking around money. Pocket money. I need a little flash money. Wow, he's getting hostile. You don't walk. I need some crawling around money. Okay, you need crawling around money. That's an extra two bills for the kid, and we'll make it right. What are you going to buy? You don't worry about it. All right. I may make another bet on the Chargers this weekend, although I won't be able to watch the game. How are you going to call a bookie? How are you calling now? I'm on your old iPhone. My old iPhone? Yeah. You jail broke my old iPhone and you're using my old iPhone? I did. One of your M1s did it for me. Who? Bass String did it. Bass String? Jail broke my old iPhone for you, Luke? Yeah. Bass String's right here. He's nodding his head. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. He did. That's what that 1200's for. That's what the 1200's for. That's right. That's what the 1200's for. Great. All right. Well, I get off at 10, you know that. And why don't you take a nap? All right. All right. All right, see you. Oh, wow. What's up with him? He's getting more angry every time. Yeah, he does. He's an angry kid. That's the deal. He's a scoundrel. He's a scoundrel. He's a scoundrel. Is he? What is he? What is he? Scoundrel. He is a scoundrel. Dirty rotten. S-C-O-U-N-D-R-E-L. Scoundrel. Scoundrel. Scoundrel. That's right.
That's the word of the day. I just wanted to put that out there. We should call now. I said it an hour and a half ago. Where were you guys? I don't know what happened, but we did say that. Have you heard about the Chargers this weekend? We've got a few things we need to update you on because they are such big stories. Joaquin Phoenix's new movie. The chick that had the acid thrown on her face. How about this? How about you call us right now, 570-1949. I'll tell you what we're going to do in a second. Let's have the word of the day calling. We'll do it next. Let's hear it in here with our live studio audience. You guys fading on me? You fading on me? You fading on me? That's what I'm talking about. We have a full audience in here today. Yeah. And pretty awesome. It's our first.
Friday in the brand new studio, Studio M. And so far, so good. You know, it feels like we've been in this studio a lot longer than we actually have. Mostly because everything, just the engineers got this thing dialed in so good. We literally, from the time that we came on Monday until now, have not had any issues. Knock on Formica. Knock on Formica. But it really has worked exactly like it's supposed to, and it's only going to get better. So really cool. A couple of things that we talked about at the beginning of the show that you may have missed that I wanted to hit on again. If you don't already know it, the Chargers game is blacked out this weekend. They're about 7,000 tickets short, and for the next home game against the Cardinals, they're 10,000 seats short. So we'll see. Also. Remember when we talked about the girl that had acid thrown on her face? Turns out it was a hoax. What we don't know was what her motivations were, and we also don't know how did she do it. Did she do it herself or did she have somebody do it? We don't know. And then the other big thing that we talked about today was the Casey Affleck documentary on Joaquin Phoenix called I'm Still Here. Am I? Yeah. Turns out to be a hoax.
It was not real. But doesn't matter to me. Still looks good. Still going to see it. Tonight's 8 o'clock album here on FM 94.9, Run DMC, King of Rock. Nice. So be listening for that. We do something called Trade Up for Charity, and it is officially about to come to a close right now with this. What we have is a, because of Surfride board shop, They have traded a custom-shaped Steve Boison surfboard, quicksilver wetsuit, and surf lessons, valued at over $1,000. But our promotion guy, Adam, is amazing. Want to talk about Unsung Hero of the Mikey Show? That's the guy. Oh, I sing about Adam. I sing, too, but I cornered his wife at Independence Jam. I was like, your husband's amazing. He's the greatest. I cornered Meryl from the belly up and was telling her the same thing yesterday. He's phenomenal. He is good. And he just started calling around and checking out some connections and seeing if anybody wanted to participate. And from Hawaii, it's the guy that runs all the marketing for the Four Seasons. Is this Mark? It is Mark. Mark, how are you? I'm well. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Aloha.
Aloha to you. It's pretty cool. We have a promotion director, Adam, who is real good. And he was making some calls to see if anybody would be interested in helping us out in our trade-up for charity. And somebody that wanted to do something really kind, really generous. And the Four Seasons Maui, you guys are going to step up to the plate. Yes, we are. Well, you know, we've been fans of the show for years. And it was really nice to get the opportunity to work with you guys and also for such a wonderful cause with Rady's Children's Hospital. It just all added up to us. We have so many customers in your area. It's our way of sort of reaching out and saying, hey, mahalo for all the business over the years and hope to see you on the site again. That's awesome. And he says that he's been a fan of the show for years because I've been a fan. Of the four seasons in Maui for years, I got married in Maui and have stayed at that resort. And it's top-notch. I mean, there's nothing better in your place. It's an amazing place. And you guys are going to do what for the Trade Up for Charity? We wanted to go big, go big or go home. So we have a four-night stay in an Ocean View room. That's unbelievable. Unbelievable. Question, Mike?
Can I be in on this contest? Well, unfortunately, Woods, you cannot. We're going to put it on eBay. We are going to put it on eBay. So if you want to bid on it, Woodsy, you could do that. You could do that. But that is really amazing. Now, I want to be clear that it's the stay for the four nights at the Four Seasons in Maui. You will be in charge of airfare. And so whoever gets this. Whoever actually bids on it, wins it, and gets it, they will then be in charge of airfare. But a four-night stay at the Maui Four Seasons is something that celebrities enjoy with an ocean view. And so this is truly an amazing, amazing thing that you guys are doing. And I just can't say enough about what you guys do, the quality that you guys exhibit, who you guys are and the care that you take in your guests. And so, you know, it's really nice of you guys to step up and do this, and we appreciate it a lot. Well, we're doing a long partnership with you guys, and we're just happy to be part of this promotion. So cool. A paper clip for four nights at the Four Seasons in Maui. Now, that room runs for $975 a night, so there you go. Wow. Wow. Yeah.
Nothing like a $4,000 value. Yes. Wow. Absolutely. That's awesome. And on-site, at the resort, they've got a couple of different restaurants. They've got Spago. They've got Duo Steak Restaurant. And you guys have an outstanding Italian restaurant that's right there, too? That's right. For two years in a row, it's been voted the number one restaurant. Maui, out of all of the categories. So it's a wonderful restaurant dining under the stars just above the ocean. It's fabulous. You've got a pretty tough gig there, don't you? Yeah. Well, just don't tell anybody. You ever need me to come watch anything, keep an eye on things? Apprentice, maybe? That's right. We need you here, really. What better way to sell the package, right? Absolutely. I'm going to tell whoever wins this, whoever bids on it and wins it, get a massage at the spa. Not that I have, but ask for Claudie. She is fantastic, and I love that spa. That place is great. I'm telling you. They got everything for everybody at the Four Seasons of Maui. They got a new swimming pool that's going to make you feel like you are a movie star. It's called the Serenity Pool.
It's called the Serenity Pool because Serenity sort of defines a lot of things. It says no children allowed. It says no cell phones allowed. It's a wonderful place to relax. We built it last year, a $9 million pool. It has a swim-up bar. It has underwater music. It's saltwater pools. It has an elevated view of the Pacific with an infinity edge. It's pretty hot. It's unbelievable. Stop it. It's unbelievable. Listen, thank you so, so much for what you guys have done. And this is just an amazing thing. And the money is going to go to Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute. And I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so much, Mark. It is our pleasure. Thanks. Hope to see you out here soon. Mahalo. Mahalo. Thank you. Aloha. Bye. Bye. Let's hear it for him again. Very, very nice. Very, very nice. About 3 o'clock, 2, 3 o'clock today, we'll put a link on our Facebook page. We'll also put a link on MikeyShow.com that will take you to eBay. Right, Jay? Yes, sir. And you can also obviously go directly to eBay, and you can bid on that. The money's going to go to Rady Children's Hospital, which is really good. And so very cool of him to do that. 570-1949.
is the number if you want to give us a call. You want to reach into the box of bits? Pull out a thing here. I do. I love this. My wife got me this and it's just a bunch of topics and it seems like they were all custom made for the Mikey show. Let's see. It is like the jar of memories. What author would you choose to write your memoir? That's a very heady question, isn't it? For some, maybe. No, wow. I don't know. The works of DeVoe, perhaps, or... Nietzsche. Nietzsche, I can't decide. Mine would be obvious. Brett Easton Ellis. Oh, gross. Weird, weird. Why is that weird? Because he wrote American Psycho, that's why. Lesson Zero. All of my favorites. What about yours? The Apostle Paul. A little different. Yeah, kind of different.
Hunter S. Thompson. Hunter S. Thompson. Very cool. There you go. Jay, probably Judy Blume. Larry Flint, probably. Judy Blume. Totally Larry Flint. Larry Flint. Ode to Hustler. There you go. Takes a hustler to know a hustler, right? All right, you ready? Let's do another one. No. Why? Let me see it. Yeah, 100%. What's your favorite raunchy movie? Porky's. Porky's. Porky's. Ella B's like, well, it's... Rated X. Boogie Nights? Is that raunchy? That's pretty raunchy. Super Troopers. That's pretty raunchy, too. It's kind of raunchy. Never seen Super Troopers. Porky's brilliant. You would love it. I would? Except for all the, yeah. Very bad things. Very bad things. It's pretty raunchy. If you get past it. Oh, that's macabre. Weird. Don't want to do that one. Easy, big time. That's creepy. That is creepy. I just saw it.
It's what celebrity do you think will die next? Gross. Say that to me right before I get on a plane. What's the worst thing you'd do for a million dollars? I'd probably let the baseball bat get hit on the end of it and say that... No, I don't know. Some people do it for $25 million, but you know... Easy, big time. What's the worst thing you'd do for a million dollars? What does that mean? Mine I can't repeat on the radio. But yes, if you have it in your mind, yes, I would do that for a million dollars. Lauren? Maybe hook up with a chick? I don't know. I don't know. L.O.B.'s like sleeve of the black dude. That makes my mouth worse. L.O.B. L.O.B. I do it for a dollar. Would you eat a raw lamb chop for a million dollars? Yes. A hundred percent. You have to clean the bone. Yes. For a million dollars. Yeah, yeah. I'll answer for you. That's insane, of course. For a million dollars, yeah. I wonder if there's an eat thing that she wouldn't do for a mil. Yeah. There is? Yeah. Like, doo-doo. I wouldn't want to die for a million dollars, no. Right, right. I don't know about, like, cockroaches, spiders. Oh, I couldn't. You wouldn't do that? I don't think so. Couldn't eat a cockroach for a million dollars. Couldn't do it. I don't think I could. If I came in here with a big Samsonite piece of luggage, open it up, and there's fresh hundreds.
Bound couldn't do it dude. I could not ice on my mother. I could not do it Like living like living yeah, couldn't do it. Could you get shocked by a little shock machine from yes? Tiny shocker. I'm just asking. I didn't know I know that you're not a fan of it. I'm biting my tongue by the way you all know that What fear have you outgrown got me the dark? The dark? Yeah. Me too. I mean, I'm a little creeped out by it. I'm still a little scared of this. A little bit, but not that bad. Yeah. You know? I'd say that and bridges for me. Bridges? I used to be real bad on bridges. Oh, oh, oh. Now I can handle it. I'm still pretty bad on bridges, as you guys know. Mm-hmm. I don't know. I don't think I've outgrown any. I'm going to get us a good one. How are you? Have you ever road raged somebody? Hey, Woods.
Yes. I haven't really, I mean, I get mad, but road rage is where you're like screaming and that kind of deal. You never had before? You never followed somebody or thrown something at somebody? No, because I don't want to get my butt kicked. Oops. I flipped somebody off the other day. The other day? You did? Yeah, this motorcycle. What happened? Because he definitely, like, I made a quick turn. I was coming to make a left and he was coming straight. Yeah, I didn't leave like a whole ton of room, but I could make it. It's supposed to be 25 miles an hour, but he went up to like a cool 55 just to prove a point to me and then swerved in my direction to just freak me out real quick. Right. So I went like this. Oh, I probably shouldn't do that. It's the radio. Yeah. It's a room full of people. You still shouldn't flip them off. If you were in jail. and could request any person to break you free, who would you choose? My missus over there. Because she could get the job. And she just looked at you like, you're darn right. And the thing about Jamie is she'd do it. Been there, done that. Yeah, been there, done it. She'd do it. I guess the spirit of this question is, like, who could get the job done? My missus. What would she do is she'd flirt with the guards and get their key and then let me out. Put her jugs together. A little gun show? Yeah.
Wow. L.O.B. I don't know. One of my brothers, maybe? One of the Lakers, maybe? I don't know. Maybe Ron Artest? Would LT be available? Would he come back to San Diego just to bail me out? To Sam Osgood, maybe? Jay? Probably Woods, because he knows them all. That's true. I do know my way around. I do know my way around to jail. I think I would choose Rebecca, because I think she could... Figure it out. Yeah, she could. She's smart. Figure it out. She'll find a way to get you out. Sure. That's what wives do. Let's see. What alcohol can you never drink again? All of them. Tequila. Southern Comfort. You got sick on it? Oh, yeah. You got sick on it? I went number one in my bed on it. Yeah. It was bad. I had a nervous breakdown. I did. Full on.
You had a nervous breakdown? I had a full-on nervous breakdown in college. I drank about 12 shots of tequila in about an hour, and I woke up in my bed covered in number one, and I called my mom, crying, shaking, shaking. calling her saying, I've got to drop out of school. So that's a cool conversation. Yeah, it was great for my mom. It's a fun phone call for your mom. Your son has just soiled himself. He's calling you, you know, completely obliterated on tequila, having a nervous breakdown. It was the morning after. It was the morning after. Yeah, just shaking and crying. She's like, hey, but besides that, how's this semester going? I was dating a girl at the time, and she walked into the... the local college bar, and I was about six shots deep at that time, and I was doing body shots off another girl. Oh, wow. As she walked up and was like, oh, yeah. And she's like, oh, hey, hon. I'm like, just an idiot. Never again. Oh, my gosh. That was 15 years ago. That's a topic in and of itself. I know. What have your parents seen you doing that you wish you could erase from their memory? His girlfriend. My girlfriend. Oh. Yeah, not my parents. Yeah. Sorry, I was looking at Jay at Blackdown for a second. FM 94.900. Yeah.
But no, it was. L.A.B.'s like, that's a good one. Like, what have your pets walked in on and you're just like, I can't believe I'm doing shots in front of my dog. Well, the last time I was listening, he was talking about his mom and then Jay was giving the break sign and I blacked out. She lost the time. Yeah. It was bad. Never again. I don't think I've ever touched it. I don't even drink margaritas. Disgusting. Liquid heartburn, by the way. Yeah. I look at a margarita, I get heartburn. Oh, I had a question. I can't remember it. Weird. So weird. It was for you. Weird. Something about body shots. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. L-O-B. Don't judge me. What's a body shot? Yeah. So you take some salt and you pour it on a girl's neck. Traditionally, your wife or girlfriend. Why don't they call it a neck shot? Well, there's more. There's more. Okay. And I didn't do it like this, but... Wait, wait, wait. Say that again? Okay, you lick their neck. Pour some salt on their neck. Here, I'll come around. No, don't. I'll show you. No, it's okay. I'll show you. No, I'm fine. I'll show you. I'm fine. So then she puts a lime in her mouth. Okay? So what I do is this bit. It's like lick it, slam it, suck it. Oh, boy. I go up, lick the neck, shoot the thing, and then go to her mouth and get the lime out. And my girlfriend at the time walked in and saw me doing that. I was hammered. I didn't know what I was doing. Didn't I?
And she saw me and she's like, oh, this is great. And we got in a fight, so I had six or seven more and stumbled home. But a full body shot is tequila out of the belly button. Yes, you can do that too. Which is disgusting. Or between the boobs is always a good one too. Wait. Wait. Yeah, you put her on the bar, you pour tequila in their thing and you do the lick the neck and then go and then go and get the thing. Here, I'll come around. No, no, no. I'll do it with water. That, to me, that, to me, is like drinking rainwater out of a well. That's hideous. What if you get a little crumb? What if you get a little crumbies, dude? Bye, Mikey. Bye, Mikey. That's the filthiest thing I've ever heard. You had some Mikey's show? Hey, by the way, I want to thank, cater to you. These guys are really, really great and really nice to come in here.
do what they do. They're really, really a great service, and I want you to check them out. They have a website. It's cater2usd.com, and today they brought Wahoo's Fish Tacos, and Wahoo's has locations in La Jolla in the sports arena. Voted best fish taco in Southern California, and they are a full-service caterer, cater to you. And what the really cool thing, and this is what I love because we were wrapping up our trade-up for charity, is that they are donating 10% of their proceeds back to Rady Children's Hospital, which is really, really cool. And I want to say thank you to cater to you for doing that. It's a really cool thing. Natalie Holloway is the girl that was killed by Yoran Vandersloot. And Natalie's mom, Beth, went to visit Vandersloot in jail. The reason that she did was he's basically all but said what he's done. And she wanted answers. She basically said that she wants to bring Natalie home. And she left there without any answers. He didn't give her anything. I know. And she apparently said, if you thought you'd been pestered before, you ain't seen nothing yet. Wow. So she's really, really going to go after it. And, you know, try to get, try to make his life worse than it already is. Maybe I take the belt to that guy. Yeah.
I'm telling you, man. I'm sure somebody will. I'm sure they will, too. Oh, yeah. No picnic in there. It is not. Thank you to Jared, too. You can find Jared at createyourdesignonline.com. A lot of people saw the portrait of the Mikey show here in the studio that Jared did. He also did our billboards. He did our website. And you can hire Jared yourself by going to createyourdesignonline.com. Amazing, amazing guy with the website, with everything. It's just really, really cool. So I want to tell people about that so that they can check it out. Let's see what I got for you. How about Tom Tom Tins? Want to play some Tom Tom Tins? Let's do it. 570-1949. Give us a call right now. What do we have to give away, Jay? What will be the prize? We're going to give them tickets to see Phoenix. There you go. Tuesday, September 21st at the Open Air Theater. There it is. So you want to go see Phoenix? Phoenix. Call us right now. 570-1949. One ninety four nine. And Tom Tom girl is, you know, she's a machine, little GPS device. Hi, Tom Tom girl. Hello, Mikey. How are you? I'm doing adequately, Mikey. Adequately is not necessarily good, not necessarily bad. So, well, I guess that's better than nothing, right? It's good. I think so, Mikey. Yeah. So let me ask you, what have you been up to? What have you been doing? Well.
Woods no longer has me in his automobile, Mikey, so I've just been chilling out in the dashboard. Yeah. Are you still single? Are you still on the market? Way to bring it up, Mikey. Well, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to know if you were single. You're out there, I guess, looking for someone. You said it yourself. I'm a machine. That is right. They are a machine. But that doesn't mean that you can't somehow fabricate love. You can pretend, remember? You were dating the movie phone guy. Again, thanks for bringing it up, Mikey. Bad memories, right? Bad memories. Yeah, let's talk about when you're used to drinking stuff. Okay, listen. I was just trying to converse with her. She's obviously not in a good place. I know. Just keep shoving the needle in. I guess it was. Thank you, Woodsy. You're welcome, hon. Here's how this works. We have M1 Audi on the phone from San Diego. Audi, how are you? Good. Okay, here's how this works, man. She's going to read you some lyrics to a song, and you're going to have 30 seconds to try to tell us what the song is. All you need is the title or the artist and you'll win. And again, it's tickets to see Phoenix. Are you ready? Ready. All right. Tom, Tom, girl. Someday love will find you. Break those chains that bind you. One night will remind you how we touched and went our separate ways. If he ever hurts you, true love. Oh, that's Journey. Yeah. That is correct. Very, very well done. That's good.
That is good. Hang on a line. Loading up, picking these songs out last night, and I watched that video like three times in a row. No instruments. It is hilarious. It's the worst. No instruments. Oh, they're pretending to play instruments. They sit on, what are those things called, the pallets? Right. They're just like sitting on that, just fist bumping. Yeah. They're playing fake instruments and flipping their hair around. Invisible instruments. Yeah. Great concept. Yeah, in 1983, that was like, wow, what a cool idea. Yeah, brilliant. And the hot chick keeps walking by. Yeah. She's got like this long leather skirt on and big poofy hair. Oh my gosh. Oh, it's great. I could watch those old videos. If Lauren had never told me about Lionel Richie. Oh my God, the best. The best. And which song? Hello. Hello. Hello. If she had never told me about that. I would have never known how creepy that video was. Oh, my gosh. Bar none, the number one creepiest video of all time. Oh, for sure. Yeah. The blind girl walking by and he's... Stalking her. Yeah. Not only is he stalking her, he's putting his hands in front of her face because she can't... She didn't know. She didn't know. He's creeping from the shadows going... Yeah. It's like riding with woods on an elevator. Yeah. It's true. It kind of is. M1 Brian from PB, how are you? Good, buddy. How are you? I'm good. Are you ready to give this a shot?
You've got 30 seconds to identify title or artist. And here goes TomTomGirl. Well, my friends, the time has come to raise the roof and have some fun. Throw away the work to be done. Let the music play on. Everybody sing. Everybody dance. Lose yourself in wild romance. We are going to party. M1 Brian, do you have any idea? Can you give me title or article? Mikey gave you a hint about 30 seconds ago. It's true. Sorry, dude. That was Lionel Richie all night long. Some good stuff. Karamu. I don't know!
I guess this is Lionel Richie trying to do like the Caribbean sound or something. Well done. I didn't want to speak too soon because obviously I would have given it away. But watching that video. Yeah. Oh my God. What is it? What's that one? It's the worst production value. They're wearing like all like pinks and yellows and blues. And it's supposed to look like a city, but it clearly looks like a cardboard city. And he's being creepy in that too. He is? People are walking by and he's like, Karamo Fiesta. And just pointing at them, like telling us. In this video, there's a deaf guy walking by, and Lionel's like, hey! He's banging cymbals in his ear. Beating a drum. Dong, dong, dong, dong. Strangest thing in the world. Oh, boy. This next one is going to be a little bit more difficult, but hysterical. M1 Mewman, how are you? I'm well, how are you? Good. Now, this one is a little bit more difficult. I'll give you a hint. It's a popular song that's been out within the last four or five years, and it's good. And you're going to hear the lyrics read to you by TomTomGirl. Anytime, TomTomGirl. My baby do not mess around me because she loves me so, and this I know for sure. But does she really want to but cannot stand to see me walk out the door?
Do not try to fight the feeling because the thought alone is killing me right now. Thank God for Mom and Dad for sticking two together because we do not know how. M1 Mewman, can you give me title or artist? No, I'm drawing a blank and I have a hint. The band's name starts with an O. Oasis. I'm sorry. It was Outkast. That was Outkast. Hey, yeah, that was tough, but great. Yeah, it was great. How are you with Outkast, Woods? Like him. Like him, don't love him. Yeah, good tune. Did you guys know that Kid Rock was in Georgia testifying on a couple of things? He was testifying on why he tried to moon somebody at a Waffle House. And he was also testifying as to why he punched Tommy Lee.
First, the Waffle House employee, Mooney. Can you understand it? No word. Maybe grow up, Pete. Yeah. Yeah. It's a perfectly acceptable experience. For sure. Don't understand a word of it. You think he had some fresh Budweiser's at night? Ice cold? Some ice cold buds? I said the exact same thing when I was in court for mooning somebody. Yeah, you did. For sure. Yeah, yeah.
Any guys ever shot a shotgun before? I was going to say Kid Rock in Georgia. Weird. For sure. For sure. I cannot convince you to watch Swamp People, can I? No. I'm going to pennant race. You should tape it. I'm going to pennant race. Tape the pennant race. Watch Swamp People. It's great. Swamp People. Clown. Out there getting gators and stuff? No, thank you, dude. I've had my experience with gators. I'm out. No. If I want to watch a bunch of hillbillies for the weekend, I'll go home. Your friends aren't going to like that hearing that. They don't listen. Don't vote. Let's see. A lot of news stories that I haven't got to that I want to. Nothing. What am I missing? Is there some with your name on it? No, no, no, no, no, no. What, what, what? Because he does like 800 news stories.
That's what I was going to go to. Can we do three a day? Oh, stop. I was going to it right now. It's cool, dude. I'll just do two jobs. It's all right. Look, I was going to news. Look, okay. I'm going to give you some of the stories that Woodsy got for me. How about this one? Can we talk about how stressed he's been? I've been a different guy. Yeah. I haven't been woodsy. You're dynamic today. No, today's all right. No, you're great. He's going to Vegas after the show. Yeah, that doesn't hurt. He's been real stressed, though. He's been fine. I've been a D. He keeps complaining about his performance. I've been a D at home, big time. Jamie's like, yeah, he really has. Oh, man, I've been terrible. Terrible. Sorry. I love you. Did I say that at dinner the other night, too? I said that he's stressed because he doesn't think he's doing a good job. He's doing great. I walk in from work, and I'm like, whew. I gotta get these stories done. And she helps a lot. Jamie helps a lot. I think you check your baggage at the door then because I don't think it's coming in. It comes into work. I'm not as dynamic as I once was. I'm going to have you try this. I'm going to give you the story. You tell me about it. Okay, go. Tell me about the iPad app that syncs with the TV. I knew it. The one story I didn't read. Did you read the other one? Yeah, I read the other one. You read the whole story? Yes.
Dad, I read the whole story. All right, what? iPad app that syncs with your TV. You ever not have a friend that'll watch TV with you? Now you can turn to your iPad for company. Thanks, Woods. You're welcome. You know, there's a new app for Apple's tablet computer. It'll listen to the ABC television series My Generation with you. I don't even know what this means. When I read it, I go, I don't know what this means. Using the iPad's built-in microphone, the free My Generation Sync, it literally syncs up with the TV show. It can give you information about what's happening at that very moment on the television. I don't get it. Does anybody get it? You're watching this show, My Generation, and it syncs up with your iPad, and it's, I guess, giving you info on the show. There's a TV show called My Generation? Right? Is there? I don't know. I like girls, so. It's like watching TV with TomTom. Yeah. She's telling you what's going on. So it'll just commentate and be like, I like this particular break as well. Yeah, it'll be like. George is trying to hit on Cynthia. Right, and what it does, Mike? Cynthia is a slot. It's going to let you take polls and quizzes and get behind the scenes as the show progresses, which is, so now you're watching a TV and now you're working and answering quizzes while you're watching a TV. Maybe we just watch TV. Why do we have to get all behind the scenes and everything? Why does everything have to be technology? Just sit there and watch TV. Mikey. I'll get it. If I watch TV, which I mean I watch it on my laptop,
I just want to zone out. Yeah. Why do you want to take quizzes? Exactly. San Diego was among the top ten college towns. Weird. Yeah. No kidding. It's not a surprise. I'm going to guess the other ones were probably Jacksonville or Tallahassee. Does it mean that there's a lot of college students living there? Does it mean what? They're living there? No, like the best ones. Oh, okay. Yeah, the best college towns. You know, college towns. Miami? Is that one of them? No. You don't have the list? It just says it's among the eight. It's eighth best. Oh, it doesn't list the other ones. It says we're ranked behind L.A. and ahead of Minneapolis-St. Paul. I would hope that we're ahead of Minneapolis-St. Paul as a college town. But we go to a different story. Well, sometimes the best college towns are there's nothing else going on except college. That's what makes it fun. All right, Woods, you ready? Yeah. Top ten global brands. Oh, so stupid.
All right, ready? Yep. Coca-Cola. IBM. Microsoft. Google. Yahoo. GE. McDonald's. McDonald's. Intel. She's doing my bit. Nokia, Disney, and HP. Riveting. Next. Oh, boy. Prosecutor tried to keep sexting case quiet. Now, this story is crazy. So this girl comes into this attorney, and she's like, hey, my boyfriend. hurt me and, I guess, assaulted her. He's like, oh, no problem. I'll take care of it. We're going to prosecute him and get him in a lot of trouble. They have their initial meeting. She walks out and he starts creeping on her with texts immediately. Immediately? Immediately. He asked her if she's the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older, married, elected DA. District attorney for the layman. Wow. Right. In others, he calls her a hot young nymph. He sent her like 36 messages that are, you know... Are we missing something? No.
Okay, ready for this? You are beautiful and would make a great young partner one day. I would want you to be so hot and treat me so well that you'd be the woman. Are you that good? Whoa. Wow. This guy Mark Bowman. Mark Bowman. What happened, she goes in there and starts saying, like, my boyfriend's a creep. He thinks that he's the shoulder to cry on. He thinks that they had a little something something going on. Yep. So he starts sexting her. And then, so she's like, well. On the first meeting? The first meeting. So then she's like, oh, great. He even made some insinuation as, you better make this right with me or I'm not going to prosecute this guy. So this guy is toast. And he's not stepping down. He's like, listen, I've been doing this for 30 years and they're not going to get me. And, I mean, this guy. That's a trippy story. How can they not get him? Don't they have the text? They've got the text. But he's not stepping down. He's like, if you want me, you're going to have to come get me. Wow. I think DA stands for dumbass. Yeah, I think so too. I think that guy had some scotch in his office or what? Absolutely. Woods, how excited are you for Boardwalk Empire? Oh, I cannot wait. You guys know about this show that's coming? It's on HBO this weekend. It is incredible. Marty Scorsese directed the pilot. Easy big time. What's up? Marty Scorsese? Isn't that what you call him? No. I'm not buddies with him. Sorry, I am. Tell me about Bob De Niro. Let's go to break.
Come on. Time's my flight. What is the deal? You two. You better kiss and make nice before we leave today. I know. He's been in a bitter mood towards me ever since I did the Derek Jeter story. I wonder why. That was at 630. I know it. Kid holds a grudge real good. Hey. All right, never mind. No, I'm not going to get to it. Empire 41. It starts Sunday, September 19th from 10 to 11, so I'll make sure to stay up for that for sure. Steve Buscemi is in it. Get the HBO East Coast. I'm going to stay up and I'll probably watch it again after I watch it. It's like a lover's quarrel going on in there. But if you don't know what it's about, it's about the... About an hour. Oh boy. Rebecca's favorite joke. It's also about Prohibition. It's the night before Prohibition starts. So it's going to be really, really cool. So the whole series will be about that same night? No. It's about the bootlegging and stuff. But it starts. Speakeasies and what have you. It'll be like four seasons of one night. It's not 24. Yeah. 24. That's weird. All right. What do we got? What do we got coming up? Where am I? I don't know. Oh, here we go. No, I don't want to do that. Weird. Oh, we got new movies. Do we? Tell you about the new movies coming out. And we got a live studio audience. Welcome back. Sweepers nights. Sweepers nights.
We were on the same page last night, apparently. I guess so. That's right. Let's see. New movies that are coming out today. Everybody's been looking forward to The Town. The Ben Affleck movie. Haven't they? Ben Affleck movie. You haven't seen it? No, you don't have TV. Ben Affleck movie. It looks so good. Yeah, they say it's Heat meets The Departed. Oh, this is the thing you guys were Googling over the other day? Yeah. That was on there? Yeah. Here's a scene from the movie. You and your boys didn't just roll a star market over in Malton for a box of quarters. A star market. It's great. High school players. Just overview the Boston accent or what? For a roll of quarters. Roll of quarters at the... Stop mocking. No, you decided to bang it out on the north end at 9 o'clock in the morning. No, where'd it go? It should be north end. You decided that you were going to. It should be north end. You dummies. Shot a guard. A guard. A guard. It should be a guard. Now you're like a half off sale with big and tall. Every cop is in mind. Big and tall. Fortunately, though, for you, this guard. Is that Ben Affleck? No, that's not Affleck. Miraculously clung to life. Now, if it were up to me.
And they gave me two minutes and a wet towel. I would personally asphyxiate this half-wit so we could string you up on a federal M1. M1. M1. Fans of the Mikey Show. Clearly. This is like a high school play. It really does. Woodsy, you're excited about this movie, though. Yeah, you know, it's funny, man. For somebody that despises the sports teams in Boston, I freaking love movies that take place in Boston. Good Will Hunting, The Departed, Mystic River. All those are some of my favorite movies. Favorite movies. I mean, the city's a turd. No, it's a great city. The sports teams are a turd, but the accent is my favorite. I can watch Good Will Hunting every day. Also out today, Easy A, Devil. And Kid Rock in Court. Sounds like all three movies that you will see, Mike. Yeah, I'll see Kid Rock in Court because I just want to see him talk about, you know, mooning people at the Waffle House. So anyway, those are the new movies out today. Let's see. Oh, I had made a note to ask the show this and see what you guys think. What era do you wish that you were born in? Or in? You want me to start? Yeah.
1950s Bronx or Brooklyn. Really? Yeah. Why? Just because it was great. Everybody knew each other. The kids played stickball in the streets. Take the train down to the Yankee game. Jump off the bridge into the water. Was there air conditioning? I don't know. I don't think so. Still, all the way in. All the kids in the rolled jeans, white t-shirts, playing stickball in the streets. Going to watch Mickey Mantle play. Going inside. Sweatbox. That's it. Newsboy saying, hear, hear. Get the hat. What is it again? Extra, extra. I always want to say, hear ye, hear ye. Hear ye, hear ye. How about you, Jay? 1920, up in Encinitas. Yeah, see? Why? I don't know. I just read a book about it, and it's all the properties. Like this one lady bought this entire coastline for $290. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine? And the pictures of it, it's like everybody's fishing and having a good time. It's about what it goes for now, right? Yeah. Can you imagine, Jay? Can you imagine being a surfer back then? There'd be two surfers in the water. Yeah. If that. You're still fighting. Yeah, still fighting. Hey, man, you're on my break. Yeah. Get off my wave. Get off my wave, you plebeian party. Artisan. Literally, you're an artisan. Wave rider. Blacksmith. Get out of here, blacksmith. Seaweed eater. Shoemaker. How about you, LLB? I would be living in the early 70s. Weird. Free love.
Would you not have been a part of the free love movement? I probably would. But I like all my music that I seem to default to all comes from then, so it would be so cool to go live to all those shows. Yeah, it would. For me, Era's not here yet. I would like to live probably 60 years from now, technology-wise. You know, a time where... There's not wires behind my television. Robots just killing us. Yeah. And you have more wires than any, you have more wires than NASA has. I'm not kidding. Ian, when Ian was over at the house, you know, he disassembled everything that's in our cabinetry. Did you take a picture? You didn't? I told you to. Honey, did you? Did you take a picture? You guys would, I saw it and I sat there. I go, you poor guy. It's like nothing I've ever seen. It took him. Six months. No, no, no. It took 10 hours. 10 hours. Took him 10 hours. He had to take everything out. And after he took it out, he had to like get the wire straight. And then after he got the wire straight, he had to put it all back, but put it back in a way where it wasn't so hot and rearrange it. And it was all out on the floor. And I looked at it and it made my heart start beating really fast. Mine too. It wasn't even mine. Yeah. And I said, if you gave me, and I meant it, if you gave me a month.
And I worked on it all day. I couldn't do it. There's no way. My wife could do it, but I couldn't even. It would take her a long time. Yeah. But it was nuts. I don't like wires. I hate wires. I don't like download times. I don't like being in the car and not being able to do anything, like watch a football game. Oh, boy. Well, here's what I think will happen with cars, by the way. Right now. They have on some cars, they have a technology to where if you get too close to another car, it applies the brakes. We'll get to a point where we don't drive the car. Really? You can go drinking. You can go out. Just program from here to there. You just get back in your car and you tell it to go home and you go to sleep. It'll never happen. It'll never happen. Dude, if they can stop cars. Dude, cops. It's too much money. They make too much money off that bit. Off the... Yeah, dude. The police force won't be in charge of monitoring traffic anymore. Off tickets and DUIs and things like that. They'll be able to focus on other stuff. Yeah, because they're going to just take that cash cow, take them out back and shoot them. The DUI thing? Yeah. They make a lot of money off that. A lot, a lot of money. Ask anybody that's ever had one. It's expensive. Maybe they find a new way. They could find other ways. Say what? Yeah.
You know, they'll apply the brakes, whatever. I don't know. I would take one in a heartbeat. Yeah, heck yeah. Technology-wise, I just don't think that we are where we're going to be. Mike, what if robots take over the world at that point? I don't know. I don't think... Oh, by the way, we went to our kid's birthday party. We had it at JW Tumble. And what was all done, they put a little robot on the floor and it vacuumed. Oh, yeah. I asked my wife. Did it work? I was. You'd never seen that? Mesmerized. I followed it. Oh, yeah. I followed it. I ordered off of Amazon. I'm going to get one of those because I have a bad back and it actually, that's like the one motion that hurts the most. Is it? Doing that. Yeah. So I was going to get one of those. I would have had something technologically more advanced than you for once. Yeah. It's pretty cool. It's crazy. Was it the little round ones? The little flat round ones? It automatically returns to its dock to recharge itself. We had one over at the other radio station. It would go around the promotions pit and then it would re-dock itself. We need one for in here. Because there's rice everywhere. There's a crumbled up cookie. There's Copenhagen under my seat. We need one for in here. Let's just do it. Let's get it. I don't want to embarrass Jerry.
M1 Podcast. M1 Podcast. I don't want to say his name, but his initials are Jerry Burgos. He'll be embarrassed again in three months. In three months. Okay, I'm going to pull a topic. What email do you most regret sending? What email do you most regret sending? I have one. What? I was in college. I was a freshman. I was a little tipsy. Weird. And I had... called things off with this guy i can't remember if he called it off or i called it off but can't you can't remember if he stopped calling me or whatever but i decided to send to everyone in my address book i mean i mean everyone uh high school track coach grandma dad um i was like
You know, most of it sounded normal, and then I was like, oh, P.S., check out this picture. Third guy from the left I used to date. What a tool, huh? And sent it. Forgot I sent it. Next day, instant messenger, he texts me. He's like, hey, or instant messenger. Hey, you there? Hey, hey, I know you see this. And it's like, third guy from the left. What a tool, huh? Wait a minute. I'm trying to understand. I sent it to everyone, including him. Including him. Well, what came before the, by the way, I, here's a guy. It was just a normal. It was like, I hope everyone's doing well. It was just a drunk email. I got it. Everything was like, hope everyone's doing well. I'm loving college, blah, blah, blah. And then a P.S. For some reason, I wanted to get vindication by telling everyone I knew that he was a tool. And you were sending it to everyone. I sent it to everyone. Including this dude. I don't know why. Oh my gosh. So he was on there and he got it. Wow. You called me out on it. What'd you say? I don't remember what I said. Something like, sorry, I was drunk. Always a good bit. Yeah. Woodsy, do you remember? No. I'm trying to think. Hey, listen. Jamie, do you know? I've done, I mean, I've sent, I've sent some nasty ones in my day, for sure. Anything involving the accidental reply all. Oh, the accidental. If anyone's ever done that.
How are we on time? We got a break. Let me turn that mic on. Yeah, we got a break. Okay. I want to continue this, though, because I love it. Here at Sam Adams' beer. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Run DMC, King of Rock. Hello, baby. You never heard that, would you? You never heard that song? G&R, Think About You. It's Off Appetite. Here you go. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show with a live studio audience in here. This is the first studio audience that we've had in the brand new Studio M. I love it. I love it, man. You guys had a good time in here today in the new studio. Very cool. Yeah, man, this studio has been a long time in the making and it's been awesome to be broadcasting from here all week. You can call us 570-1949 is our number.
Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. At the beginning and end of every show, we allow open phones, so whatever you want to call about, you can call about. And so feel free to. You want to take an over-under on how much money I'm going to lose this weekend? Are you feeling that already? I walk into a casino and I lose money instantly. I'm the worst. Jamie will get a call tonight at about... I'm going to say 1.30 a.m., and I'm going to be like, hey, can you deposit $500 in my account, please? You have to put a limit on yourself on how much you're allowed to bet. Hi, I'm Steve Woods. Yeah, you ever met this guy? We just met L.O.B. Yeah. Well, Woodsy has a pretty good strategy that he uses. He goes to a craps table, he finds somebody that's winning, and then he just does whatever they do. Yeah, my boy Jay Rhodes, he was the guitar player in Gypsy Rose, and Fenwick was the bass player. We're all going to be there together, sweetly. Three quarters of Gypsy Rose, so it's a pretty big deal. So if you run out of money, you guys can just set up a corner somewhere. Yeah, we just do a gig. So Jay Rhodes knows what he's doing. He's like a gambler. I am not. I'm an idiot. And so what I'm going to do is take my money, and whatever Jay Rhodes does, I'm going to do. And hopefully he gets on a heater. To me, he looks like a level coming to me. Exactly. So hopefully I get on a heater and come back and make a little coin. There you go. But I'm scared to death. My heart's racing right now. Is it? Yeah, because I'm so bad at gambling.
What's the over-under? What's the over-under? On how much you lose? What do you think I'm going to come home? And I'll be honest. I would say $300. That's exactly what I was going to say. $300. Yeah, I'll do that before my friends get there. I'll do that before dinner. Oh, wow. Wow. You're going to win. You say higher? You're going to come back with $1,200 in your pocket. Jay says I'm coming back with $1,200. That's optimistic. I say you break even. Well, listen. I'll say you break even. But what will happen is there will be some point during this trip where you've won a ton and you give it all back. Because you're convinced that it's going to get hot again. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you. I'll give you the full story Monday morning. Yeah. My version of gambling is putting a couple of quarters into the slot machine at the airport. At the airport? Yeah. Rebecca, you gamble at all? No. Not anymore? No, that's a deal. I'll put a couple of quarters in there and go, eh. All right. See you later. While you're waiting for your luggage? Yeah. Put a dollar in there. See, I like roulette. Roulette's my strategy. You play some roulette? Mm-hmm. Blackjack just killed me when I was in New Orleans. Lost like $400. I used to do that. I lost too much money. L.O.B., do you... Oh, wow. Your wife just found out you lost more. That's great. Oh, wow. L.O.B., do you put the chips on every number? I put my money on black every time. Weird. I take it back.
Like my man. I'm just kidding. No, I switch it up a little bit. I start off with like a 50-50, so I do the red or black, odd or even bit, and then I start going for specific numbers, and I usually go with lucky numbers. There you go. I'm not playing blackjack. I'm not playing blackjack. I'm not playing blackjack. That means you're playing blackjack. The next scene is he's playing blackjack. At 3.30 this afternoon, I'm like, double down, double down, double down, double down. 570-1949 is our number. We let you call it the beginning and end of every show. Does anybody, L.O.B., you got anything going on this weekend that you want to promote? I do. I have a show tonight. Sweet. In Carlsbad La Costa area. I've never been there, but it's a place called Joey's Smokin' Barbecue. I know where that is. You do? Yeah. Yeah. That's where we got our barbecue, I think, isn't it? Yeah. Really? You know who that is? Nope. The same guy that owns that is the same Joey that you were on the TV show, the reality show. Same guy. That's who owns that place. And they do. They do comedy there. I gotcha. So I'll be there tonight at about 8.30. Tomorrow night I'll be at the Carlsbad Village Theater at 8 with my little comedy troupe. Look at you. Be gracious. Nice. Let's see. This is M1 Sabotage from Boston. What's up? Hey, Mikey.
I just wanted to say how much I love your show. I'm all the way out here in Boston because I'm going to college out here, and I live in San Diego, so I'm missing home a bit. I just feel like I'm listening right now. There you go. Are you going to go see the movie The Town since it's all Bostoned out? Yeah, actually. We actually had to read the book Mystic River, and you guys were all talking about how it was in Boston. There you go. All right, well, thank you, Sabotage. We appreciate you. We love you. End of the show on Friday. I give you my testimony. And my testimony is my story. And I tell you my story in hopes that somebody hears it and they are going through something similar and you can find some kind of hope in what happened with me. You know, I grew up with a...
constant feeling of being worthless. That was how I always felt. Didn't tell anybody that. And it was my normal. You ever get into a place in your life where whatever you're feeling like may be very unhealthy, but you don't know it because for you, it's just normal. That was me. All growing up, all through high school, feelings of low self-esteem. Even into my 20s, feelings of low self-esteem. And in my 20s, I started using drugs and drinking a lot. I was driving with my brother one time in Tucson, and he said, aren't you worried about drinking as much as you do because alcoholism runs in our family? And I said, you know, that's why I'm never going to let it get to that point. But with something like alcoholism, it's not like one day...
You're not an alcoholic and then you wake up the next day and you just suddenly are. It's just something that happens over time. I have experienced feelings of desperation and hopelessness to the point where I would try anything in my life to feel accepted and also to feel good. I've had eating disorders in my life, experienced depression. cocaine, methamphetamine. I have closed all the drapes in my apartment and shut everybody out. And I did that over a long period of time. It didn't, like I said, it didn't just happen overnight. It took a long time for it to happen. I've hurt more people than I remember. I've used more people than I can remember. I used to be a very self-absorbed, egotistical,
manipulative person. Every motive that I had was selfish. In 2003, Jesus Christ came into my life and I surrendered myself to him and he changed my life and saved my life. I tell you that because if you're lost and you're desperate, I just want you to know he can do that for you too. If you go to mikeyshow.com, up at the top of the page, you'll see the word help. And if you click on that word, there's going to be a lot of resources that you can get to for depression, eating disorders, and for addiction. If you're listening right now and you feel like I'm talking to you specifically because you feel like you don't have any hope, I want you to know that you can have hope. Maybe you have a secret. And as you hear my voice right now, you're realizing I need to tell someone. You should tell them.
a song that lyrically may mean something to you. And people are very, very fond of this one. It's by a band called Red, and the song is called Pieces. Have a great weekend. Lovely and Talented Hillary is up next. This was a great, great time that we had today in our new studio, and it was just so fun. Have a great, safe weekend. We'll be back here on Monday, and we'll do it all over again. Hillary's up next. Mikey shows out late.