The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/16/11
Friday, September 16, 2011
uvula swellingfan speculationpolice dog roleplayblind dateFood Fighters pie contestCharlie Sheen interview9/11 holiday debatesexy or maxy gamepersonal testimonychildhood abuse recoveryuvulapolice dog
The show featured Mikey discussing his swollen uvula and speculating which fan caused it, while Jay revealed his nude police dog roleplay game with his wife. Later, the team set up Chris on a blind date with Perry and followed up on how it went, and listeners competed in a pie‑eating contest to win Foo Fighters tickets. Charlie Sheen called in to talk about his past substance abuse, porn star relationships, and being fired, and the audience debated whether 9/11 should be a holiday or a day of memorial. The segment closed with Mikey’s emotional testimony about overcoming childhood abuse and addiction through faith.
What happened, in order
Uvula Swelling Mystery
Mikey describes his swollen uvula and wonders which fan's breeze caused it while joking about the "dangler" in his throat.
Police Dog Roleplay
Jay reveals he plays a nude police dog game with his wife where she pretends to be dead and he attacks if she moves.
Chris's Blind Date Setup
The show sets Chris up on a date with a woman named Perry, planning to check in later about how it went.
Charlie Sheen's Confession
Charlie Sheen calls in to discuss his past drug use, relationships with porn stars, and being fired from his show.
9/11 Holiday Debate
Callers argue whether September 11th should be a national holiday or a day of memorial, sharing personal views on remembrance.
Foo Fighters Pie Contest
Listeners dig through pies to find a hidden Foo Fighters CD, with Jesse winning the VIP package after being the first to uncover it.
Sexy or Maxy Spanish Challenge
L.O.B. reads Spanish phrases and Mikey guesses if they're sexy or maxy, leading to humorous mistakes and self‑deprecation.
Mikey's Testimony
Mikey shares his story of childhood sexual abuse, addiction, and finding faith and hope, ending with a performance of the song "Tunnel".
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyJayL.O.B.ChrisPerryStacey CohenHillaryCharlie SheenBruce HuffmanEsther HuffmanTed WilliamsDr. PhilJoe McGinnis
38,160 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Not only is it a big morning here on the Mikey Show, it's a big day on the Mikey Show. It's a big night on the Mikey Show, ladies and gentlemen. Woodsy's performing tonight. All M1s are invited to come out and watch him perform tonight. And it's going to be incredible. Everybody from the Mikey Show will be there and supporting our boy. Where are you playing tonight, Woodsy? Playing at a place called Bootlegger. And it's a new bar and it's downtown. A nude bar. It's a nude bar. Which is weird. I didn't think I'd be there. But there I am. Yeah. In the middle of a nude bar. Yes. And it's awesome. It's on market. Yeah. And I have a swollen uvula right now. Yeah. And so I can barely talk. So it's rad. Yeah. A uvula is that little thing that hangs down in your throat. I call it the dangler. The dangler. How did... Oh. You told me earlier. My theory? Yeah. We sleep with all our windows open, and I had a fan about one foot from my face, and I sleep probably like this. What fan was it? What? What fan was it? Oh, he means like, you know, was it Nubian Prince? Yep. A fan of the Mikey show? Right. It was not Nubian Prince. Right. That'll make your throat swell for sure. Was it Chris from Oceanside? It wasn't Chris from Oceanside. All right.
M1 Surf Daddy? It wasn't M1 Surf Daddy. It was not. It wasn't Peanut, M1 Peanut, which is M1 Eric Turbin. That's right. So anyway, you think that the fan was what blew up your... Let me see. Let me see. Go, ah. Now look down. Yeah, it's swollen. It's like I can't swallow. Isolate that, by the way. Yes. It's just a great sound effect. Just a great sound effect. Anyway, it's from 6 to 9 tonight at Bootlegger. I hope you come out and... Hey, listen, if I can't sing... It's not a nude bar. It's a new bar. It's a new bar. Maybe I'll play some instrumentals. They sell any food? Oh, dude, their food is so good. What are we talking? Comfort food. Nice. Comfort food. I just went from happiness to... Jay just knows how to take me from happiness to sadness in an instant. Well, I can get you back to happiness. You know, you walk into most bars or restaurants or sports bars and they have peanuts or pretzels.
These guys have these black-eyed peas that are soaked in vinegar, but they're dried. They're so addictive, dude. You eat one, you're like, just bring me a whole bag of them. They just have black-eyed peas just sitting right there. It's cool that they come every night. Will.i.am will be there. Fergie will be there. Just methed out. Just peeing her pants. There you go. Just peeing her pants. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years of age. And Woodsy's our sports guy. He's 36. He looks great. He's got a new haircut for tonight. And it's sharp. He's back to his old woods. Back to his old woods self. You feel like me again, man. I really do. You look handsome, dude. Thank you, dude. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. And she is 30 years of age. Although, you wouldn't know it. She looks younger. Oh, thank you. 24. Single. Yes. Single as a dollar bill. Not single. She's not single. Tax file single. Yeah. Tax purposes. That SOB likes to rub anything he can. Anything he can find. I'll get y'all. I'll get all that. I don't care. I care less. I get Chris and he doesn't do nothing wrong. He ain't even got a mic. He can barely hear me. That's right. I still get him. That guy's never done one thing wrong in his life. I can get him. Jay is our producer. He's 48. He is a pervert. True.
And we found out late in the program yesterday something that we never knew about Jay, which is that he likes to play a game with his wife called Police Dog, which is where he pretends to be a police dog while he's nude. It doesn't necessarily have to be. I know it doesn't have to be. But it usually is. And he says that his wife pretends to... Be dead. She plays dead. You have to. But here's the thing. If she moves a muscle, police dog knows, and he will attack. Right for the neck. Right for the neck. He'll sniff around real good, too. Oh, wow. Just make sure you're dead. Oh, my gosh. It's cute. I just left my body. Oh, wow. I'm going to choose to think of it as cute. Okay. Okay. Okay. I thought pervert. All right. Well, sniffs her neck. Consider the source. All right. Let's just leave it. Let's just leave it there. Let's leave it right there. It's by my me. Let's put it back. You know what we did? We picked it up off the coffee table. We observed it. We looked at it. We flipped it over. We put it back on the coffee table and we walked away. Exactly where we left it. That's where we left it. Chris is our phone screener. It's crap. That's crap. Want to know a surprise? Yes. Want a surprise? Yes. He's getting married. No. He's pregnant. No. Oh, wow. But.
We set him up on a date. We set Chris up on a date with a girl named Perry. Oh, yeah. And Perry will be in today. And the reason is because we've never talked to Perry since they had their date. We've talked to Chris, and Chris thought that it went well, and Perry thought that it went well. We just hadn't talked to her. Question for you. Yes. Can we get graphic? Nope. Okay. No, no, no. In fact, I can't even imagine how one would. Can you? She seems like the kind of girl that would put you in your place if you got graphic with her. Well, first of all, now I figured it out. I just figured it out. When you said that, I thought, graphic, what does he mean? Well, whatever he means, the answer is no. But then I actually started to think about it. Well, what could he mean? And I think he means...
No. Right. And Chris just gave me the sign, the universal sign of course. And, well, you know, you start asking stuff like that, you ruin it for the poor kid. You embarrass her. You make them uncomfortable. Don't do it, Wes. That's what I do. That's what I get paid to do. Think about Chris. Yeah, think about him. You love him. I do love him. You don't want to ruin something. I love him. I think he moves at a snail's pace, too. What's a snail? It's a small little crawly creature. Holy cow, dude. Oh, my gosh. Let me tell you. I got that coffee down. If he had said that a millisecond sooner, I'd have lost my coffee everywhere. The smell space. Yeah. You know what he's doing. This morning, this morning at 2.15 in the morning, I was in my kitchen. And I remembered Woods saying the words. And I don't even have a word that he says. All I picture in my head is Woods going, what's? And that's all I need. And I started laughing out loud. Because when Jay messes up a word, Woods will go, what's? So, in other words, Jay will go, yeah, well, I don't like golf. What's golf?
What's golf? He has a problem with L's. Yes. He's like Asian. Asians don't have, they don't use L's in their native tongue. And so they will say, I'm in rough. Jay just omits the L. He just takes it out. He takes it out. Yep. Takes it out. Sometimes the end of words like Taylor Swift. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. We know what he's talking about. We do. It's brilliant. We do. My dad does it. My dad does it all the time. It's a dad thing. You get to be a certain age, you start doing it. I know I'm going to do it, by the way. There's no doubt in my mind. Food Fighters this morning at 730. So we will have people coming in. Food Fighters for Food Fighters. They'll come in. We're going to have five pies. They're going to put their hands behind their back, dig into the pies. And one of those pies, they're all going to have CDs on the bottom. But one will have a Food Fighter CD. And that person will win Food Fighter tickets. Also, word of the day today. is toast. And so when you hear me say the word toast, between now and 10 a.m., and you're caller nine, you will win tickets to see the Padre game with the Switchfoot concert after it on Sunday, but you'll also be put into the running for the VIP package. Now, that will be drawn for today. So you've got to be listening for the word toast. And when I weave it into a sentence, caller number nine, what's that big grand prize?
The VIP package is two tickets to the game, two on-field passes for the Switchfoot concert, two meet-and-greet passes for Switchfoot, a couple of items autographed from Switchfoot, the new Switchfoot album, and that's all included in the VIP package. So huge, huge prize for the VIP package. Very quickly, just want to mention to you, Mikey Thon is on 6th and 7th of October. So not very far away. Big Charger game this weekend. I mean, it's as good as a game as it gets, right, Woods? Yeah, week two, and you already have a matchup like this. You've got both teams 1-0. Patriots, their offense is a juggernaut. And Phillip Rivers is excited about his offense, but is also a little concerned about how good their D is. They've always been. A disciplined group that makes you earn every yard, and that's what they are. And, you know, secondary linebackers all the way through, they make you earn it. That is a smart football player, and mainly smart because he's not talking any crap. Yeah, well, tell me what you think, because I have an idea of how they win this game. And I think the way that they win it is they've got to run the football. They have to run the football.
And they've got to chew up clock. I mean, they've got to move it. They've got to control the tempo of the game. They do that. They've got as good a chance as anybody to beat the Patriots. I like that. You keep Tom Brady off the field as long as you possibly can. Love it, Woodsy. That's a good game plan. If you can execute that. I'll tell you, man, it's time for Ryan Matthews. We need a breakout game from that guy. Him and Tolbert. And Tolbert was hurt. He was banged up. But he's back. And those two guys, man, they need to be a two-headed beast. And they've got to control that field. They've got to chew up yards. Yeah. Ryan needs to start looking like he looked at Fresno. Fresno State. There's no question, man. And, you know, Takeo Spikes, who is a guy that the Chargers picked up in the offseason, had an awesome first game, 11 tackles all over the field. He's talking about the challenges for his group, the defense. The challenge is just making the play because you know you're going to get some work if you're called upon to cover them. So expect the ball, make sure your technique is clean, and just understand what we have called in the defense. The more I hear from Takeo Spikes, the San Diego Charger, the more I like him a lot. No question. And I'll tell you, man, the defense is up against it because that guy, Tom Brady, he's a real good quarterback. And the thing about Tom Brady is he can put it anywhere he wants to.
To anybody. Yeah. I mean, he threw, I think... LLB just had a face that said, I'll say he can. I was thinking that. Yeah. I mean, I think like seven or eight guys caught balls last week. So that's really tough to defend. That's right. You got your third string tied in there making plays. Oh, dude. They're a filthy team. They're filthy. And I'll tell you, they are always prepared. Always prepared. I think we've seen how good they can actually be. Absolutely. You don't even know. I know. We do know. Trust me. 570-1949 is our phone number. If you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Beginning and end of every show, open phones. You can call about whatever you want. And we would love to talk to you. So on this day in history, did you know this? That on this day in history, the Mayflower left England. Jay, what was it like? Was it cold that morning? It was cold and it was kind of foggy as I remember it too. You know what? He's right. That SOB is right. It was bad weather. When they left, it was bad weather. Took them two months. Took them two months to sail from England to Massachusetts. Let me tell you. When I was eight years old, that couldn't have been more boring to me. No question. Why is it that at 41,
I'm fascinated. I picture it in my mind what it smelled like. The wind blowing. The scaredy catness that you must have had. I would have been terrified. Where the hell are we going? How about a month and a half into that and you just see ocean? At night? Are you sure we know where we're going? I don't have the foggiest idea. I can't see three feet in front of me. Where we were going. All the time with... on me. Why is it always on me? Whose idea was it? It was my idea. It was his idea. It was your idea. America. America. America. Oh, we've got to go America. Oh, all this big talk about the gold and the women and all that was there. The spices and the Indians. And all the talk about 200 years from now, there'll be Lady Gaga. Can you imagine being out there in the wind and just stop? Because you can't start the motor. Yeah, you've got to sail. You've got to sail. You just got to sail. It's just dead. They're just like dead. Water's rented out. Oh, my God. Imagine just standing in front of a wooden door going, are you almost done? I've got to go. And it stinks to you. I'm about to crop my puns. I'm about to crop my puns. It's only been a month and a half. How did they have enough food? How did they? What did they eat? Because you couldn't refrigerate then. Oh, I know. They didn't have ice. What do you do? Now I'm fascinated. It blows my mind. Darn it.
Now I'm fascinated. Call in, history teacher. Seriously. I know there's got to be some kind of history. My phone. Oh, no, they're not. They can't be. They can't be. They can't be out. The phone lines are dead. I'm controlling in there. S.O.B. Oh, my gosh. S.O.B. S.O.B. Yeah. What's he got all interested now in Civil War? What's going on? You're back. Is it your back? You can barely move. I'm not crawling in there after all. I'm going to sit in here for a little bit. Poor guy. You need some tussing? No, dude. It's his back. I know, but it makes you feel better. Loopy. You know what else happened? Okay, by the way, that was 1620. Today in 1620 is when they sailed the ocean blue. 1908, on this day, GM was created. General Motors, today. Wow. GM was created. By the way...
Speaking of on this day, have you noticed Facebook's doing that now? Love it. Mm-hmm. Yesterday it told me that I put up a status that said we were in here for a year, our new studio. Oh, really? As of yesterday. Yesterday was the one-year mark for being in our new studio. So Facebook is doing a thing now. Where they will show you what your status was a couple of years ago. Now, same with you guys. It's 2009 that they're showing you? I did the other day. I saw a 2009 one. And it said, it's good to be back on the East Coast. And I was like, what the heck? For me, it's only 2009. I haven't seen any other year but 2009. I get them both. Last year and the year before. You do? And, you know, 09 is like. hey, got to hit the phones hard today. Got to close some business. And then 2010's like, I can't believe Jay farted. You know what I mean? I don't have any 2010. I've only got 2009. And I like the Facebook on this day in history. What were you up to? But I'm also nervous because for me, it's coming up on the, oh gosh, my crew abandoned me. And I'm looking for a job. And I hope I can find people for my show.
And so I wish that there was a way to go, okay, I want the status thing, but don't show me anything from this period of time. Because what if you broke up with somebody, you know? Or what if you were going through something rough? You just don't want to see it again. But what if there was another period of time that was really great? Like, I would love to see the stuff of when we were first coming together. You know what I mean? So what do you think about, well, I would ask you what you think about the Facebook DLM ones, but our phones are dead. I don't want to say to you. Chris, can you go get an engineer? They can Morse code it in if they want. Yeah, you can always do that. Don't give up. Don't give up. You can always Morse code. That's saying, yes, Mike, stop. I like, stop. This idea, stop. So you're good. There you go. Carrier pigeon? If there was light out, you could smoke signal, but you can't see it right now. Charlie Sheen was on Jay Leno last night, and he sure does sound different. He sounds very, very different from the Charlie Sheen that was wacky and out of control and all that stuff. Take a listen to this, if the internet will work. It's a commercial. You said your wake-up call was the day you got fired from the show. Yeah. Okay, so tell me about that.
Are you still angry towards the producers and CBS? No, no. I'd have fired my ass, too. Yeah. Wow. Right? Love it. I love it. Maybe not like they did. Hey, I'm surprised to hear him say that. No doubt. There's no question. I'm surprised to hear him say that he would have fired himself. Yeah. No, it's... I mean, it is what it is, you know? I mean, do you feel maybe you... Because sometimes, you know, when you argue, you say things which you can't take back. Yeah. Do you feel maybe... It got a little personal. Oh, yeah. It was bad. It was bad. And I own my part in that. And I just want to make everything right. You know? It's just, you know? One guy clap. One guy. The early clap. Which, by the way, Charlie was stoked. And then it stopped. And so he goes, right? Oh, gosh. Which is always comfortable. Like, yeah, yeah, please. You can clap. I said I want to own it. Yeah, go ahead. You were going to clap. His wife slaps. Idiot. Yeah. It's just, you know. Oh, my gosh. Pretty mature clapper. Yeah, that's comfortable when he does that. All sides. So when did you realize, Charlie, that you were, in fact, not winning? Obviously, you're calmer now. Yes. So what has changed? Well, I don't do crack cocaine anymore. You know, that's probably the biggest one.
I don't have two girlfriends anymore. Yeah. They live with one porn star. Yeah, porn star. Yeah, so stop getting high and drinking. That helped. And having sex with porn stars. Yeah. It helps when they don't live in the house all the time. And they're yelling and screaming and you're screaming. Plus, you're coked out of your mind. That is a kind. Those are better. What was the catalyst? What made you go, whoa? Hit the wall. I realized I was pretty much losing. I'll tell you, man, I respect it. I love it. I love to hear a Charlie Sheen that says, anybody loves to hear a guy say, I screwed up. I love it. Everybody does. Was there one defining moment? Was there one day when you woke up and go, oh, no, look what I've done. Yeah, it was the day I got fired. Then he got fired. Then I got fired, yeah. Which is surprising, by the way, to hear him say that, because when he did get fired, obviously he was very ambivalent, he was very, uh, he was mad. He was pissed. He was mad, and he, you know, he didn't sound like he had come to any sort of a, you know, uh, epiphany. Right. It's only in hindsight. Okay, so my big television show. Well, now, I mean, was that... I thought I could come back. Yeah? Kind of like you did.
Yeah. That's fair. Fair enough. At least one of us got the job back. Careful, Jay. Easy. Gotta kill you. Yeah. Plus, there's some jokes to be made there, Jay. Absolutely. Wait till I tell you about these bees that attacked 250,000 Africanized killer bees. It's a crazy story. These boys are playing this weekend. Hometown. Whatever happened to the golden-voiced Ted Williams, the homeless guy that Dr. Phil helped out? Well, you're going to find out because they talked. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Shoot him a text.
Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is The Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. Hey, Mom. It's me. Baby Eddie. Here in your belly. Oh, Eddie, honey. What's wrong? Nothing, Mom. I'm trying to get your attention because I have some exciting news. Oh? Mom, you and Dad need to sign us up for the National Children's Study. It's the largest long-term study of children's health and development ever conducted in the U.S. And it will help expand what doctors know about children's health. I want to help, but... Don't worry. It doesn't involve medications or treatments. There will be periodic visits and interviews as I grow from now until I'm 21 years old. The study wants to learn more about how the environment and genetics affect my health and development where I live, learn, and play. That sounds like a good idea. Where do we sign up? The National Children's Study is now enrolling families in San Diego County. For more information, visit sandiego.nationalchildrenstudy.gov. That's sandiego.nationalchildrenstudy.gov. So I'm at Verizon shopping for 4G, and I say to the sales guy, listen, I want Verizon 4G LTE speed, but I also want selection. And he goes, we've got a ton of advanced Verizon 4G LTE devices, like the new Droid Bionic by Motorola.
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1-800-850-7184. The Old Navy Baby Sale is on right now with hundreds of items starting at just $5. And this Thursday, Kid Styles at Old Navy are on sale for just $8. A little style goes a long way now at Old Navy. It's brought to you by Allstate. Hitting the road to cheer on your favorite college team? Well, get protected with Good Hands Roadside Assistance. It's free to join and open to everyone. Register now at allstate.com slash roadside. Well, on our roads right now, the 8 westbound College Avenue on-ramp. It's an injury accident. That on-ramp is blocked. Also, the 8 westbound in La Mesa at the 125, we've got a metal rod in the right lanes. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts today. See your participating Toyota dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. Right. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Do not forget, word of the day is toast. Mmm. So when you hear me work that into a sentence between now and 10, you want to be caller number nine. I got a feeling.
It's going to be good for the Padres game, the Switchfoot concert after the game. And one lucky person is going to win a massive VIP package all having to do with Switchfoot. So be listening. So this story in Arizona about these bees is so creepy. It's one of the creepier stories that I've heard about bee attacks. As you know, Africanized killer bees made their way here years ago. Do you know bees that smell fear? I do. I do, actually. Little one. A little kid gets me, man. I mean, he says that, and he just completely... Jonathan Lipnicki is his name, and he'll just throw me right... Do you know bees that smell fear? I actually do. So he's in southern Arizona, and...
Happened yesterday. And this woman who is a hog farmer. You don't find a lot of women hog farmers. You know, whenever I think of hog farmers, maybe it's sexist. I imagine them being guys. Don't see a lot. It's very sexist. Yeah. I mean, hey, it would be one of those deals, though, where maybe they, you know, the person sends a picture and goes, hey, check me out. Bet you'd never think that a hog farmer would look like this. That's right. That's right. But anyway. Thousands of bees swarmed a 1,000-pound hog. The attack lasted two hours. Oh, no. Yeah. What was going on was these farmers, they were trying to move a hive. The hive weighed 200 pounds. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine? A 200-pound hive, man. Oh, my gosh. Which means it had to have been there a long time. Maybe call some professionals on that one. I know. Don't do that yourself. No. I would have done the douse it with gasoline, light it on fire, and then run. Oh, my. Woods, you make me so nervous. Screaming bees. Oh, you make me so nervous. Just douse, light, run. Right, Jay? That's a good call. Yeah. Is it? Isn't it?
Yeah, you light the tree on fire. You light your field on fire, your farm on fire. Anyway, so they're trying to move this thing. There's 250,000 bees in there. And they swarm like a black cloud. And they started attacking workers. Animals. Now, what happens is, is that these bees, they've got a little hormone on them. And when they put that hormone... onto the other animals it's like it's just like that you know it's it's like this little scent noise thing buzzer and uh it attracts the other bees and they they go right to it oh man and they take care of biz um there was another dude that was attacked in northern Arizona by these killer bees what happened was is that the bees from Africa are more aggressive they started mating With regular honeybees, that's all it took. And then I remember back in the 80s when they started moving. They started moving from Africa and they showed on a map, okay, now they're here. Now they're here. And I remember that it was like the Y2K scare because it was like, they're projecting that in three months, the Africanized killer bees will make their way into America at the Arizona border. I remember it being real scary like that. Now, now they've moved all the way up throughout North America.
So they're here in San Diego County. Perfect. They're here. You don't mess with them. Be careful. And you can't tell them from the other ones. You can't tell what's what. I thought you were going to say you can't tell them what to do. You can't do that either. You can't rationalize. They're bees. All you want. Dude, I've tried. I was like, what's your guys' problems? I go, hey. Get away from me. I know. I go, hey, it's hurt, sadness, fear, whatever you guys are. Just diagnose it and then just figure it out. You guys are just tripping out. Well, and you guys should change your names because I think Killer Bees is a little hardcore. Absolutely. You know, just call yourself Bees. Just Bees Bees. Just be a bee. Just be a bee. Honey Bee was so much sweeter. Absolutely. Yeah. Just talk them down. Watched Star Wars yesterday because it got on Blu-ray. You did? Yeah, it got on Blu-ray. The first one. The first one. The original Star Wars. Episode four. Episode four. Greetings. Greetings. How was it? Dude, there's nothing on there on that DVD. They don't give you any extras. What? No, nothing. It's just the movies. That's it. You can select chapters and go to a scene and that's it. George Lucas is a clown. He's a clown. Rich clown. He's a clown. There's nothing. No, there's no extras. No. Oh, I'm sorry. Commentary. Oh, boy. That's it. Commentary. That's the one thing that's on there. Commentary. However, I will say this. It looks great. It really does.
Dude, it looks really good. Back in the 70s, my oldest brother, Mark, got a VCR, and it was the kind that you actually push the buttons like on a tape recorder. It was an old kind like that. And somehow, don't know how, he got his hands on a bootleg copy of Star Wars. It was like... The coolest thing in the world. You're like, my brother is a badass. Oh, yeah. I mean, straight up. I don't know. He knows the president or something. But it looked like a turd. I mean, you could barely see it. I mean, thinking back on it. But now, this Blu-ray edition of Star Wars, it looks freaking great, man. But the only problem is, it's the updated version that George Lucas messed with in 1997. Did you watch it with the commentary on? Do you ever do that? Sometimes. See, that drives me nuts. Like, they're talking. Like, let's say Han and Luke are talking, and then you hear Mark Hamill like, you know, it's funny in this scene. I actually asked my pants right before we came on. I had to do a wardrobe change, and then I came out. Well, here's the thing. The only way that you can watch those commentaries is if you've seen that movie a million times. Otherwise, you know. You ain't seeing it. Yeah.
There's no way. Don't you think the special effects don't hold up, though? I mean, you go back and watch it, and you're just like, oh, that's such a joke. That's the thing, though. I mean, that's what you fell in love with. Yeah. That's what you fell in love with. I have a hard time going back. I watch it with Jasper, and Jasper's like, well, look, you can see strings. What's going on there? I'm like, well, you've got to just look past that. He's like, easy, Spielberg. You'll be fine. Yeah. Jake gets to watch it now that he's five, my son. I told him when he turned five he could see Star Wars. When I first saw it, I didn't like it at all. I saw it when I was seven years old when it came out. My brother Mark took me to it. Didn't like it. And the reason I didn't like it is I didn't get it. Didn't get it at all. And I never understood kids that were really into Star Wars. Because I thought, do you understand it? And for me, I had to understand. It wasn't just about stuff blowing up. That wasn't good enough for me. I was bored out of my mind. Yeah, you know what the hell Dagobah was when you were a kid.
You just didn't get it. And not only that, I didn't even really get the basic, you know, there's a lot of adult, like, feelings in it. And I was like, I don't get this, man. I was really, really into Jedi. Really into Jedi. You were? Oh, yeah. I thought it was Muppets, man. My nanny, my grandmother, dropped me off at the theater, the dollar movie. And I watched that son of a gun three times in one day. Wow. She dropped me off. I was like. 10 years, 11 years old, you could do that back then. Yeah. And I sat there and watched it back to back to back. Loving it. I rode the bus from Gilroy to Morgan Hill alone and saw it in the theater by myself, obviously, because I didn't have a girlfriend. I was 13 and didn't have a girlfriend. Not even one in sight. What about a friend, though? He's like a friend. Not even one in sight. Hell of a way to rub it in. Mike, I know you said girlfriend, but you didn't say anything about friends. No, I didn't have those either. When none of your brothers wanted to go with you? They'd all gone to college by then, and at that point it was me, myself, and I. Babysitter? No, I didn't have one. I was my own babysitter. What was that bus ride like? Staring out the window, Woods. Just me staring out the window, just longingly wondering, seeing, you know.
13-year-old kids making out with girls on the corner, sitting on the, you know, just making out, and I just stared at them, brooding. Thinking about, well, I can get milk, Dad. Yeah. I can get some popcorn. Yeah. I can get a hot dog. I'll just make the situation worse. I'll eat. I'll eat. Not bad. I'll get some Reese's peanut butter cups, man. Reese's Pieces. Reese's Pieces, too. That's the way to go. Walked into the movie theater. Solo. Yeah, solo. Saw a lot of other 13-year-olds with their girlfriends. You know, guys like Woods that were sharp, you know. Always got the girl. Sitting there. Just with their arms around each other in front of me. They were... Giggling. Right? They're probably looking at me thinking, oh, look at that orphan. A little orphan. He's not so little, but look at that. Good orphan over there. Just here by yourself, huh?
The movies was a big player back at 13. Went to a lot of movies, barely saw any of them. Yeah. The best. Never did that. Never made out in a movie theater. You didn't either? No. We went with groups. We did like the group thing. We'd loiter and be bad teenagers. Boy, I did some making out. You did? It was the best. You too, Jay? For sure. Did you? We had a movie theater that had a balcony. And you could smoke in the balcony. Are you kidding? Yeah. So we would go up there and like... Yeah, seriously. So we'd go up in the balcony and, you know, we'd make out. But it was hideous because there were people smoking cigarettes up there. Wow. Crazy. Jay, did you ever, and this is real, you're going to think I'm saying this to be funny, but it's a real question. Did you live during the period of time that they called it knacking? Or no? No. That was before your time. Right before. Yeah. Right before. I heard the phrase. It was always, okay, that's. Good. What other ways did you say making out? Frenching. Hooking up. Hooking up. I have the grossest one that they used to call it Gilroy High. Macking. Oh, that's the worst. That's so gross. Did you ever hear that one, L.O.B.? Mac out. Mac out. So gross. Mac down. Mac down macking. Filthy. Filther. Totally macked out with her. Oh, my God. You're a sex pervert.
We had one for going all the way. What was it? Doinking. Doinking. Never heard that one. Never heard it. Doink. Did you guys doink? I doinked her. Doink. Boff. Boff was a big player in the 80s. Big and risky business if you've seen that movie. Was there anything else from Making Out that we called Making Out? Necking, macking, frenching. First base. First base. Yeah. They all sound disgusting. Slipped her the tongue. Slipped her the tongue was a big one. Was a big player. Did you slip her the tongue? Yeah. Yes. Gross. Hideous. Let's see. You just blew my mind, by the way, Mike. What? With macking. I hadn't thought of that in 20 years. Macking. I macked down with her. In a while. Gross. Sounds like a McDonald's thing. Disgusting. That's probably why we liked it. I know it. Sadly. Dr. Phil talked to the golden-voiced homeless guy, Ted Williams.
And, you know, he sent them to rehab. Dr. Phil sent them to rehab. And so he wanted to know about why, you know, Phil wanted to know, why were you using drugs when you came on my show? So tell me what's up with you. Well, Dr. Phil, there was a lot of things I lied about. I owe you some amends, first of all. Gosh darn that voice. I owe you some amends. I'm on the ninth step right now. Yeah. and so I'd like to use that opportunity to nightstep with you. Sobriety. People that you had exploited me. Truth be known, you did. You actually exploited the ass out of me. There's no question. I'm not sure why I'm actually apologizing for that one because you did. That's a true statement. Yes. Oh, I want to be the first to tell you, Dr. Bill, I'm sorry. Well, you should be. All right.
You dumb SOB. Yeah. You're just a giant turd, right? I just apologized. Well, you should be sorry, shouldn't you? Do you have any gigs for me? Remember all the gigs were lining up? I was going to do some play-by-play and some voiceover. No, I don't. I would, but you messed me over. Are your pants on fire, liar, liar? They're not on fire. I'm surprised. Well, if I lied as much as you did, I'd have to just... Constantly buying new pants. That's fair enough. I'm homeless, so I can't buy new pants. No, you're not anymore. How about you try this? Nancy Grace, go ahead. Nancy Grace now? Yeah. Oh, well, I thought... Oh, wait. No, you were... I was trying to do Dr. Phil. Oh, I thought you were... Oh, sorry about that. It was a female Dr. Phil. That's right. Weird. Go ahead, doctor. I think she's on the spot. Dr. Two. Dr. Two. How about you try this? Okay. My name is Ted Williams. My name is Ted Williams. I was wrong. I was wrong. Dr. Phil's the best. Dr. Phil is the best. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm a dum-dum. I'm a dum-dum. You're not. You're not. You're handsome. You're handsome. You got a porn mustache. You do have a porn mustache. And you're good looking. And you are good looking. Exploit us in what way? Try to more or less get some more notoriety. Try to gain some lucrative deals. Dr. Phil taking a page out of the Oprah book of...
Yeah. Oprah did the same thing to James Frey. Is it Frey or Frey? Frey. He wasn't ready, Ted says. I wondered if you saw me as kind of a naysayer at the time. No, not really. I just wasn't ready then to give up smoking. The obsession was still there. And I thought you were trying to bust my bubble, so to speak. any moms out there that don't know you're talking about smoking crack smoking crack okay yeah and here's the thing man i mean i i kind of feel for i well not kind of i really feel for him because he was sort of put in this position where it was like and if you don't know the story of this dude he was a youtube sensation because he lived in cleveland he was homeless he was on the side of the road and the people would pass him every day and uh when he spoke he had this beautiful voice
Well, one guy captured it one day on camera, posted it on YouTube. He became a sensation. America fell in love with him, wanted to help him because he was homeless, and they did. But what no one really considered was, was this guy really ready to, and did he really want to stop doing the drugs and the alcohol? And apparently at the time, you know, he just wasn't waiting. Are you waiting on a clip? Yes. It's the internets. Yeah, anytime. Real good internet. Mike, maybe you should get a faster dial-up. Are you on dial-up? Perhaps DSL would help, Mike. Even cable, Mike. Whatever. Anything would be better. Anything would be better. Mike, perhaps feed the hamsters that are turning the wheel that gets this thing to play. Call AOL. American Online. Oh, wow. Oh, boy, that's a problem, isn't it? Well, let's see if I can do this. Make it work.
Well, no, it's not working either. And listen, I never gave up on you along the way. My staff never gave up on you. And I got to tell you, we take a lot of abuse from addicts. Jay, sorry. Sorry. He said staff, so Jay giggled. Never gave up on him. My staff never gave up on you. Just never gave up on you. I don't. Everything. My staff, is that it? Oh, gosh. His staff. Oh, Jay. You mean shaft? I didn't say anything. I just sniggled. I didn't mean to give you the shaft. Didn't you? Yeah. Because we do a lot of interventions here. And they fight so hard to stay in the life, to stay in the drugs. And so they yell, they scream, they tell lies. And you did some of that. Did you know what you were doing at the time?
I thought I'd lost my mind, Dr. Phil. I had this great God-given gift. That is so insane. Instead, I still want to smoke crack. Never caring about Patricia and my kids. Just going right to that pipe. And treatment allowed me to find out about the illness of the disease of addiction. I'm glad he's better, man. Me too, man. And I'll tell you something else. This guy didn't go in for any 30 days. You know what I mean? He's been in there a while, I think. Yeah, it's been a long while. Good to go. That's going to stick this time out. Love to see that guy doing something good, you know? Mm-hmm. L.O.B. woke up from a nap yesterday, and there was a helicopter circling around her house, and it was saying, from the helicopter, Sheriff's Department, 47-year-old male, beard. Freaked me out, too. Now, did you think to yourself it was a gay guy? Or that it was a woman. He was using a woman. Right, because that's what a beard is. A beard is a woman that makes a gay guy look like he's straight. For a second I thought that, but then I thought, well, why would the Sheriff's Department feel the need to put that out over the helicopter? Right, and you were like, wow, they're really ratting somebody out, aren't they? Yeah, so it was really a strange way to bring somebody out of the closet.
I heard the same thing. Oh, it freaked me out. They find the person? I don't know. It stopped eventually. And then after about a half an hour, the helicopter was back over my house again. So imagine me by myself in the house. And you get freaked out. Oh, yeah. I ran right up to the door and locked it. And my ear was up to the screen just trying to listen. She was saying, too, there should be like a text 911. Oh, yeah. It's a good idea. Yeah. That way you could stay quiet while you're, you know, doing the deal. Yeah. If someone was in your house, you could just text your address and the problem. Yep. Not a good idea. Great idea. Huh. We should have that. Yeah, absolutely. Patent pending. Patent pending. Yes. Jay spent all day on his back on the floor. Yeah. He slept there. Did you sleep overnight there? Mm-hmm. Stuck on the floor all night. Oh, man. My dad used to do that. I wonder what's wrong with... with jay it started with a cold i know but as old not that old he started he it started with a cold and uh then it what's the connection between the cold and your back it uh one of my doctors said that it just kind of goes to the weakest part wouldn't it attack your wiener that's the strongest part i don't know i haven't seen for myself yeah yeah well you just make things up i don't know i mean no please
I have a bulging disc in my back, and so I don't know if it was because maybe I was coughing really hard, but it's funny. I can go and wipe out. I can get beat around. I can skateboard. I can fall, you know, all this stuff. Climb, surf, climb, make love for days. I get a cold, and my back goes out. I believe that you probably need surgery. I went and had an MRI the last time it went out, like probably a year ago, and I was ready. I was like, I was fed up. Oh, backs. It's just a little worse. It's the most excruciating pain you can think of. And it spasms, so it's like, you know, and the guy's like, no, no, I wouldn't. You know, he's had back surgery as a back doctor, and he's like, don't do it. Now, the weird thing is, is that the person that he's talking about worked out of the back. Of a pickup truck. Right. This was a specialist. And was in fact a witch doctor. Well, he got his degree, Mike, in the Caribbean. A hundred. Which is, you know, very popular. When Jay talked to him, he had a chicken claw as a necklace. This guy is one of the top back surgeons in San Diego. Is he? Yes, he really is. I didn't mess around. I figured I'm going to do this. I'm going to go. You went all the way. Went all the way. All the way to Tijuana. He says you don't need surgery? No, he says, you know. Obviously.
Sometimes it makes it worse. That's what I've heard. That's why you get the medical marijuana cards, eh? We're all getting one. We're all getting one. Do our NFL picks for the weekend. Also, I want you to call about this. Speaking of getting ratted out, what is the ultimate time you've been ratted out or ratted someone out? And the funnest ones? One was the stuff we did to our brothers or whatever. What's the best rat-out story you got? 570-1949. Show now. 570-1949. Or text him. 949mikey at gmail.com. Or on FM 94.9. This is Hanson, and every Sunday morning at 7 a.m., it's the Brown Bag Blues on FM 94.9. Two hours of the most down-home, gritty blues you can get on the radio. Muddy to Lee. You know I hope, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Kenny Wendell, the Black Key. The Grizzled Veterans.
The wet behind the ear baby bands. If it's blues, we'll take it out of the bag and we'll play it. Sunday mornings at 7, the brown bag blues on FM 94.9. Sometimes life kind of feels like, well, a juggling act. Fortunately, Cricket Wireless helps keep things in control with a cool smartphone like the Sanyo Zayo by Kyocera for under $100. And the best part is Cricket's great unlimited plan with talk, text, and data for only $55 a month. Way less than those other guys. And an awesome price for a smartphone. The Zio's perfect for keeping up with friends and family on Facebook, Google Maps to get around, and has access to tons of other apps. So do yourself a favor and get the Android-powered Zio for $99.99 with no contracts or hidden fees. Plus unlimited talk, text, and data for just $55 a month. Visit a Cricut store or mycricut.com today. So smart, so Cricut. Limited time offers. Requires new activation. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricket's fair use policy. Coverage not available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. Hit the Huawei Ascend 2 Android smartphone at Cricket for $99.99 after mail-in offer. Plus a great plan for only $55 a month with no contract. Visit a Cricket store today. Where did you leave it? Where could it have possibly gone? Did it get kicked under the bed next to your running shoes? Was it stolen at work? It's frustrating because you used to have your motivation with you all the time. And now, ugh.
That's okay. We'll help you find it. First, let's find your reason. You know, your reason. What's that thing that makes you want to live to an age where you can say whatever you want to whomever you want and somehow it becomes charming? Next, find your thing. What is that healthy thing you actually love doing? There's got to be one, right? Finally, go find your partner. Who's the ping to your pong? The downward to your dog? Who'll keep your butt moving and vice versa? Find all of those things. We're pretty sure your motivation will magically appear. But if you're still having trouble finding it, try looking really, really hard in the mirror. We're Kaiser Permanente, and we're here to help you find your motivation to thrive. Visit thrive.kp.org. Friday is one awesome day. Maybe it's because it's the last day of the work week, or maybe it's the $5 Friday deals at Vons. Ready meals, healthy snacks, you never know what amazing $5 Friday deals Vons will bring you each week. Like today, Signature Cafe Meatloaf is just $5. Look for other $5 Friday deals in the Vons Circular, then hurry in. And while you're here, pick up these Vons Club specials. 20 packs of Coca-Cola are only $5 each, plus CRV 12-ounce can selected varieties. Primo Taglio Honey Turkey Breast is just $5 a pound. Selected varieties.
and Safeway Select marinated meats are $5 a pound selected varieties. Don't miss our three-day sale going on now through Sunday with fantastic savings for the weekend and all week long. And remember to get your flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll get 10% off your groceries. It's all this weekend at Vons. Ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. I was car shopping with a dream in mind and reality in my budget. But with the unbelievable rate I got, I could shoot for the moonroof and the five-star dream car. It's not your wild imagination. This rate is real and only at Navy Federal. Right now, get as low as 1.79% APR in new cars. Plus, use our auto buying program and save even more. But a dream rate waits for no one. It's for a limited time and only at Navy Federal Credit Union. Grab your chance to upgrade your dreams for the car you really want. Apply today at NavyFederal.org. Rates based on credit worthiness, your rate may differ. Plastic bags get airborne if not thrown away. You've seen them floating in the air. They blow to storm drains and then out to the ocean. And there, they can kill thousands of animals.
So do your part to stop it and join the California Coastal Cleanup Day this Saturday from 9 to noon. Volunteers are needed at 85 different sites around San Diego. Bring your buckets, work gloves, and reusable water bottles with you. To find a cleanup spot near you, go to cleanupday.org. At Mission Federal Credit Union, your success is their bottom line. For great rates, easy access, and a better banking experience, call them, stop by, or visit missionfed.com today. It's brought to you by ExxonMobil. At ExxonMobil, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car runs cleaner. Just one more way they make gasoline. Work harder for you. Heading on the 805 northbound before Claremont Mesa Boulevard, a car stuck. It's blocking the number two lane. In Chula Vista, the 805 northbound at H Street, there's an accident. This car went off the right shoulder of the on-ramp. This report also brought to you by Jack in the Box. Try Jack's new jumbo breakfast platter, eight mini pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash brown sticks, and bacon or sausage. All just $2.99 plus tax. It's available all day at participating restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
BZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. We said it before. We said it before. If you can keep Tom Brady off the field, the Patriots will be toast. But you gotta keep him off the field. Yeah. People rank. Facebook is more important than flushing the toilet. That is a true statement. It's a thing they did. They did like a study where they were asking people. Gross. But here is the number one thing to people, like that they can't live without, that they would never want to go without, even if it meant that they could have something to keep them alive. Sunshine. In other words, even if they could have something that would, you know, recreate sunshine.
No one wants to live without it. That was the number one thing people said. Number two, internet access. Yeah. Number two to the sun. Number two. Oh, my God. Number two to the sun. Wow. Number three, clean water. Yep. That's after the internet. That's after the internet. After internet. Clown. Number four, a fridge. Number five, Facebook. Number six, healthcare. Oh. My gosh. No way. Priorities, people. Number seven, a stove. Where's eclairs on that list? Where is making love? Yeah, that's my number one. Number eight, email. Number nine, a flushing toilet. Oh, my. Number nine. Yeah. And number ten, a cell phone. These are the things that are important to us. Wow. And this was, by the way, this wasn't an American study. It was a global study. That's...
Earth. Shocking. That's Earth. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about Ron Artest's latest bit here in a second, but I wanted to tell you that the Sports Report is brought to us today by Expressly Gourmet, delivering San Diego's favorite restaurants. Ron Artest plays for the Lakers, and he's been in some trouble over the years, but now he is scheduled to be at the Los Angeles County Superior Court at 8.30 a.m. today. He is officially changing his name, Mike, to Metta World Peace. Spell it. I said Metta World Peace. M-E-T-T-A will be his first name. His middle name, I guess, will be World. And his last name will be Peace. That's Metta World Peace. What's the significance, I wonder, of Metta? Well, Mike, Metta is his official first name, which in the Buddhist tradition means loving, kindness, and friendliness towards others. And his last name is World Peace. So loving, kindness, and friendliness. World Peace. How did he ever get... Wait a minute. I'm confused. Metta was his real name? No. Oh, no. No, no, no. That's what he's... He's going to give himself. His real name is Ron. Ron. Ronald. Maybe Ronald. Ronald Artest. Yeah. But he's going to change his name to Metta World Peace. Wow. We will all look forward to that jersey next year. Congrats. And also, I told you a little bit yesterday about Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher. He had to leave the team.
To make arrangements for his mother who passed away suddenly. He is back with the team and is expected to play this weekend in New Orleans. There you go. M1s are Mikey Show listeners. That means you turn your radio down. Get to the point. Don't cuss when you call in. And M1 Nation is growing and growing and growing. And we love our M1s. If you want to be a part of this thing, there's no sign-up. There's no registration. It's not like that. You just listen to The Mikey Show exclusively, and you're a big fan. You spread the word about The Mikey Show. You go onto our Facebook page. We've got a fan page set up on Facebook. Facebook.com slash Mikey Show is how you find out about it. Mikey-thon is October 6th and 7th. Raising money for Rady Children's Hospital and staying on the air for 28 straight hours just for you. M1 Casey. Casey, is it Casey? Casey, yeah. Casey, what was the word of the day? Toast. That is correct. Look at you. Very well done. Now, check this out, Casey. You are going to the Padre game and you're going to get to see the Switchfoot concert no matter what. But you're also now in the running, which we will.
Pull the winner next hour. We've got five people's names that we're going to have in a hopper. And we will pull a name next hour, 8 o'clock hour. And that person will get the VIP package, two on-field passes, two tickets to the game, two Switchfoot autographed items, meet and greet with Switchfoot, the new album too. So good luck. And we may be calling you next hour. Where's our hopper, by the way? Did you take it home? Because I broke it. Well, I went to Hoppers R Us last night and made sure that we'd have a new hopper. You got a new hopper? Yeah, I got a new hopper. We're going to be good to go. Pull it right out of there. Hang on the line, okay, Casey? Okay. Get your info and get you all dialed in on that. You ready to do this, Woodsy? Yes. Got some good teams this weekend. We did okay last week, Mike. You and I, we did okay. Respectable. What were our records on picking NFL picks? You had eight correct. I had nine correct. But a couple of M1s schooled us. Yeah, they did. So we've got to get it back this week. First, Seattle at Pittsburgh. I say Pittsburgh does not go 0-2. They're winning at home. I agree with you 100%. They have a sour taste in their mouth right now. Baltimore at Tennessee. Ravens defense, I think, is...
as good as it gets, and they're on a roll. Joe Flacco had one of the best games he's ever played last week. They stay hot. They win also. Jets are looking real good, and they're playing at home. Inspired football, and they're playing Jacksonville. I'll take the Jets. We are three for three, my friend. I also take the Jets. Arizona at Washington. Apparently, Rex Grossman is a quarterback in the NFL, and he's not as bad as we thought he was. And we're going to find out if he's as efficient as he looked last week. I'm taking Washington over Arizona at home. I think the Rex Grossman era ends as quickly as it started. I'm taking Arizona on the road to beat Washington. Kevin Cobb lights it up to Larry Fitzgerald. Oakland at Buffalo. We're going to see if Ryan Fitzpatrick is the real deal or not. Last week, the guy looked like Tom freaking Brady. I'm taking Buffalo at home. I took Oakland. I think Darren McFadden is going to have his career year, and Oakland will win this game in Buffalo. Tampa at Minnesota. I finally think that that Tampa Bay offense that looked so good last year shows up, and they win on the road. You know, I picked Minnesota. I will be changing my pick to Tampa Bay. I don't know what I was thinking. I just remembered that Donovan McNabb is the quarterback.
They threw for 35 yards last week. I'm switching. I'm also taking Tampa Bay. All right. Let's see. Chicago at New Orleans. Yeah. Drew Brees doesn't go 0-2. He doesn't lose two in a row, especially when they're playing at home. New Orleans. Yeah. Urlacher will be back. He will be inspired. But Jay Cutler, that's all I need to say. New Orleans will win this game at home. Green Bay going to Carolina. Hello. It's the Super Bowl champs. It's Aaron Rodgers. It's a solid D. It's a rookie quarterback in Carolina. I got a green band. Done deal. Same thing. Cleveland in Indianapolis. Maybe Indianapolis has to win one game this season, and this is it at home, so I'll take them. Agreed. Kansas City at Detroit. I'm really starting to be on the woods bandwagon of Matthew Stafford, and so I got them at home. I did, too. I also took Detroit. I don't know what the hell happened to Kansas City last week. They got killed, and I think Detroit's going to take it at home. Dallas at San Francisco. Dallas, to me, looked good last week, but lost the game. I got them on the road. I got them on the road as well. I think Romo needs to right the ship there in Dallas, and they got one of the most talented receivers I've ever seen in Des Bryant, and I think they beat the Niners. Cincinnati goes to Denver, and I say the Bengals become the Bengals this weekend and lose in Denver. I agree 100%. I think last week was a fluke. Denver wins. Houston at Miami. I'm not making that mistake twice.
Last week, I took Miami over New England in an upset and turned into the biggest fiasco of all time. Tom Brady had probably the best game of his career. I won't make that mistake again. Houston wins on the road in Miami. I need Matt Schaub. He's my fantasy quarterback. I hope he lights it up against Miami. Chad Henney had a good game for Miami, but Houston wins it on the road. I hate to do this. Just skip it. You know what's coming. Let's just... It's San Diego, New England. Let's move on. St. Louis at the Giants. I say Manning gets on his roll. I say Manning starts to win, and I'll take the Giants at home. I'll tell you what. I really like Sam Bradford as an NFL quarterback. I really do. But Steven Jackson may, may not play. I'm also taking the Giants. Even I can't stand Eli Manning. Philadelphia goes to Atlanta. This is Michael Vick's return to Atlanta. And I think Philadelphia is a good... And I think that Vic will play inspired ball. I got Philly on the road. Yeah, as much as I'd like to see Atlanta win. Sorry, L.O.B. I'm taking the Eagles as well. I'm sorry. Because you're a big Eagles fan. Now, every week we do our sure thing. This is the game that we believe is a sure thing. My sure thing this week is the Pittsburgh Steelers. I don't think the Pittsburgh Steelers go 0-2.
I don't believe that they're going to lose against Seattle at home, and I think they trounce the Seahawks. Woodsy? Great minds think alike, my friend. Out of all the games, we both picked the same sure thing. It's the Pittsburgh Steelers. There you go. It's our picks for this weekend, and I've enjoyed doing this very much. Very, very much. Let's see. So James Carville is a Democrat, and he was a great speechwriter. In fact, he was married. to a woman who was a Republican speechwriter, which was really weird, but sometimes opposites attract. Did you ever talk politics in the house? You think so? But the dude is extraordinarily bright and was on television talking about... President Obama. The economy is sliding out sideways. If anything, you're sliding back. Macroeconomic advisors say there's one third chance of going into another recession. You look at how crazy the opposition party is cheering death and everything else. And you say, hey, we've got to change direction here. We've got to do something different. This is not working, not politically, not economically, not anything. So bring in a new team and indicate to people that you get it. They understand that you were dealt a very tough hand, but you just keep playing the same hand over and over again. It's not working.
It isn't working. Right now, it isn't working. I don't know what's going to happen to get everything fixed, but our economy right now is as bad as it gets, man. It's petrifying. Have you guys noticed, by the way, that Obama has gotten about as gray? Oh, yeah. Like, when that dude was running, he had jet black hair. It is almost completely gray now. It'll get you. I wonder if there's ever been precedent of a guy saying, I don't want to run for a second term. If there's ever been precedent of that. Because, you know, all you ever know is they always go, I'm going to run again. Yeah, for sure. But, you know. How do you give up those perks, man? Oh, dude. And let me tell you, I think that that's what it's all about for guys. I really do believe that when people want to be president. They know what the deal is. Camp David's real sweet. Being the leader of the most powerful nation in the world. I don't know if you guys have ever seen the kitchen at the White House and what is available to you at any time. Jay just immediately starts laughing. The funny things that you think are the first. Food, man. God.
But they have to pay for those, too. You disgust me. I almost threw up right now when you said a perk of being the president had something to do with food. I mean, my question is, how fat can one guy get? Isn't there anything else? Nothing? Anything at all that gets you going. I mean, just helping your country? Being the most powerful man in the world? No. To Mike, spaghetti. Yeah, free spaghetti. All you can eat. What about the power to save lives or end world hunger? Gosh. Man, look at that kitchen. It looks delicious. I don't understand the Mexican accent. Well, I got that because you're Mexican. I know, but kitchen can't look delicious. Man, like a pie can look delicious. All the enchiladas I can make in that kitchen. I didn't say I want to run for president. You wouldn't make them. You wouldn't make them. The beauty of having a staff. No one can make it like I can make it. When I'm in the kitchen, I can make some enchiladas. Goes against the perk, though. But that wouldn't be... He could do that at home, then. Yeah. You don't have to be president to be a good enchilada maker. Sure. I could bring my burrow inside. They don't really allow that. No. Well, maybe for the president, you probably could. I guess. I mean, you can do things in the Oval Office. Burrow wouldn't be that useful in Washington, D.C. It's true. I got one. This may blow your mind.
Should 9-11 be a holiday? Oh. No. Yes. Yes. No. Oh, L-O-B. It's a tribute. I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. Because I think of holidays as something that is, it's a celebration of, you know, our independence is a good thing. She's right. You know what I mean? She's right. Columbus Day is, you know, quote unquote, Columbus discovered America. That's a good thing. It's a good thing. What about a tribute to all the people who lost their lives? There should always be a tribute. Yeah, and we do. Well, then you take the day off as a day of... All right. It's just a tragedy. I got one for you. What about Jesus? Wait, it's his birthday. It's his birthday. Not the day he died. You're right. What about D-Day? There's no... It's not a national holiday. We always know that it's there. It's a day that will live in infamy, but we don't take the day off. We don't take the day off. Because it should be celebration. I think she's right. What about... 570-1949, by the way. What do you think of that? Oh, Martin Luther King Day. You're celebrating him. It's not the anniversary of his death. It's his birthday. I think we worked on MLK Day. Well, yeah, because not everybody gets MLK off. But there's a good argument she's making there. President's Day is collectively, you know, certain presidents' birthdays. Yep, Memorial Day. Ooh, what about... Ooh, Memorial Day.
Son of a gun. What about Veterans Day? Veterans Day. Is that honoring fallen? All the fallen. All veterans. All veterans. Fallen and living. Shucks. You know why I bet that we don't even bring it up? Because the economy sucks so bad that the thought of having everybody off for a day in our country right now is like, can't afford it. Well, and I think also it speaks to American resolve. And we're like... Screw that. Yeah, screw it. I mean, yeah, it affected us and it hurt us, but we're fine. We're not going to let them win. Mikey Show, hello. Who's this? This is M1 Beetle. What do you think? I agree with that. We'll be on the way. If we got, we'd have to take December 7th off, too, Pearl Harbor. Another day we were attacked. What you did. Yeah, but what about the whole Memorial Day bit? We do Memorial Day. That's a, that's a. That's our day, too. Memorialize. Everybody. Everybody. Fair enough. I'm fine with it. Okay. Counterside to that. It's the biggest event in U.S. history. Yeah. It's the biggest event. I mean, so shouldn't it have its own memorial since it is the biggest event in our history? I wouldn't say that. I'm sorry. Pearl Harbor. No. Oh, no way. Dude.
I think you're going to find World War II. That's pretty big. But, hey, man, I'm telling you, I think you're going to find it hard to find Americans that believe that 9-11, even my dad, who was alive during the Pearl Harbor, even he says. 9-11 is the biggest thing that's ever happened in his lifetime. It's U.S. soil. Now, Hawaii is technically the U.S., but this is an attack on U.S. soil. Yep. Yeah, a direct attack on... Yeah. I mean, it's... Listen, you don't want to trivialize either of them because they're both just freaking terrible. Yeah. But... And it hits so many different regions and basically the heartbeat of America. America, yeah. M1, Jesse, what do you think? I think 100% needs to be a holiday. It's honoring my fallen five other brothers. Oh, yeah. I worked out in Ramona, and I know that it's huge for us, you know? So you think it should? Oh, 100%. It's a holiday. But when it falls on a Sunday, is it the same bit as, like, for the July? Like, we would get that following Monday or something? Yep. I guess, yeah. But I think, I mean, the old day we'll never forget. Yeah. You know, it's...
It's kind of the same thing. There were a lot of people that I think you'll find as many people split on this topic as you will find on, well, what do we do with Ground Zero? Right. Because some people said it's really disgraceful to rebuild there. That's a memorial site. And it should be left as a memorial site, made into a memorial site, and that's it. And then there were other people like myself that said, hell no. We're going to show American resolve. I love that, man. I love that. So they compromised. It's both. That's the best thing that they could have done. And it's so beautiful. And so it accomplishes for both. It really does. What if we got a half day? Is that weird? Hey, guys, you work till noon. And if you get all your work done, you take it to the house. Or no matter what, you take it to the house and you go memorialize our fallen brethren. M1 Maiden fan. Are you there? Yes, good morning. What do you think? I think it should be a day of memorial, not a day of holiday. We don't have a holiday on the day that lives in Infamy Pearl Harbor. We have a memorial. But we don't take that day off. No. I'm looking at my work schedule. I work at a school, so no. Kids are in school. Always have been.
But we should totally continue to memorialize all those people that were lost, especially those first responders. Those guys are, well, they're the best. Yeah, thank you. They're the best. Thank you, Maiden fan. Hey, Kyle could not disagree more. Are you there, Kyle? Yes. You said it has to be, has to be a holiday. Yes, it has to be. And the reason why is because all those people lost their lives. The fire department, the... The guys, the policemen, I mean, we need to take time to remember these people. And I don't think we need to be working and remembering these things. I'll tell you, man, the American way on a holiday, I mean, think about what we do on Memorial Day. You know, think about what you do. Drink beer, go to the beach. Drink beer, you make hot dogs, you go to the beach. I go up to Mount Soledad, so maybe I'm just more patriotic. Oh, boy. LB is like, I try to get a flight to D.C. Right. And I just stand by the Pentagon and watch. Food Fighters for Food Fighters next. Is that next? Yeah. Poor Jay. You need to have to get out of my chair. I'll help you. Help me. I'll help you. How much do I have to pay to not talk about my walker on the air? Jay, why do you have little tennis balls on the bottom of your walker? I'm glad you're here. Food Fighters for Food Fighters next. Oh my God.
Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. Join me this Sunday at U31 in North Park starting at noon. The charges against New England. Boo. Kickoff is at 115. There are 20 big screen TVs with all the games. Food and drink specials all day. You're going to have to try one of their award-winning burgers because you know I'm going to. U31 Bar and Grill is the place to watch football this season. U31bar.com. Do you owe more than $10,000 to the IRS or to the state? Maybe you're being audited. Or perhaps you have unfiled tax returns like Stacy. I hadn't filed for four years. I was freaked out. I was afraid every day to go get my mail to see what was next. Stacey finally took the steps she needed with the Tax Helpline. The first time I called, I got very emotional. They immediately put me at ease. Instantly, that day, I just had this huge brick lifted off of myself. The Tax Helpline is headed by a former IRS agent with over 30 years' experience. They can get rid of wage garnishments, liens, and levies. They can lift the burden of uncertainty like they did for Stacey. The best part is I'm getting money back.
About $11,000. I cried out of excitement. I just couldn't believe it. The Tax Helpline has an excellent rating with the Better Business Bureau. Get help. Call 1-800-850-7184. I couldn't be happier with the Tax Helpline. 1-800-850-7184. I was just talking about how messed up the economy is right now, how shaky it is. That's a reason for you to call AIS. Save money right now. Save money now. 800-777-4AIS. That's 1-800-777-4247. Listen to this email from M1Ed. Hey, Mikey, I was recently in an accident. The other party's fault, but my insurance canceled me anyway. Went to AIS. Now I'm saving over $400 a year for upgraded insurance. Hey, I'm 1Ed. Same with me. I got upgraded. I got better insurance and I'm paying less. $1,600 a year less. That's what happened for me when I called AIS. And the same thing can happen for you. Call them right now. In today's economy, you need it. 800-777-4247. 1-800-777-4AIS.
So I'm at Verizon shopping for 4G, and I say to the sales guy, listen, I want Verizon 4G LTE speed, but I also want selection. And he goes, we've got a ton of advanced Verizon 4G LTE devices, like the new Droid Bionic by Motorola, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1, or the MiFi 4510L mobile hotspot that lets you connect up to five Wi-Fi-enabled devices. So I say, smartphones, tablets, and hotspots. Not bad, but in my head I'm thinking, is that the 10, the 5? Touchdown. And then I say, yeah, but is Verizon 4G LTE really that fast? And he says, yep, up to 10 times faster than 3G. Whoa. And now I'm going. They're going for two. Got it. Come to Verizon for the largest selection of 4G LTE devices and tear it up on the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. Visit any Verizon store today, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4GLTE. Every Mini has always offered iconic style, go-kart handling, and exhilarating performance. Now there's the Mini Countryman. It has all the things that makes a Mini a Mini, and a little bit more. It's bigger, so there's more than enough space for your next big adventure. And it's also the first Mini with four doors. There's even available all-wheel drive. You even get three-year, 36,000-mile, no-cost maintenance included. The Mini Countryman. It's just a little bit more Mini to love.
Learn more and arrange for a test drive at miniofsdcounty.com. Plastic bags get airborne if not thrown away. You've seen them floating in the air. They blow to storm drains and then out to the ocean. And there, they can kill thousands of animals. So do your part to stop it and join the California Coastal Cleanup Day. This Saturday from 9 to noon. Volunteers are needed at 85 different sites around San Diego. Bring your buckets, work gloves, and reusable water bottles with you. To find a clean-up spot near you, go to cleanupday.org. You've been a good person. Coached your daughter's soccer team. Pulled all-nighters at the office. Planted trees in the neighborhood open space. So, who exactly is going to reward all your sacrifices, hmm? Uh, that would be you. Right now through October 31st, at the Lexus Certified Pre-Owned Season to Change Sales Event, you'll get 1.9% APR on every vehicle. And everyone undergoes a 161-point inspection, is factory-backed, and comes with a three-year, 100,000 total vehicle mile warranty, roadside assistance, and complimentary loaner car. But hurry, because you're not the only one out there who deserves a reward. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego.
48 monthly payments of $21.65 per thousand financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details on the unlimited number of customers will qualify. No down payment required of qualified warranty is three years from your day to purchase or 100,000 total vehicle miles for outside assistance coverage only available in continental U.S. See your certified pre-owned Lexus dealer for details. Offer ends October 31st, 2011. TV on the radio. Saturday, September 24th, open air theater at SDSU. TV on the radio's new album, Nine Types of Light. Available now. Buy tickets now at LiveNation.com. Arctic Monkeys new album, Suck It and See, available now. TV on the radio and Arctic Monkeys live.
FM 94.9 is an equal opportunity employer and seeks the help of local community organizations in referring qualified job candidates to this station. If your organization distributes information about employment opportunities to job seekers, please contact Human Resources at FM 94.9 by calling 619-718-7141 or writing to Human Resources at Lincoln Financial Media, 1615 Murray Canyon Road, Suite 710, San Diego, California, 92108, or send an email to sdjobs at lincolnfinancialmedia.com. Honda production is back at full speed, and your Honda dealers of San Diego County are getting ready for a big fourth quarter. They've got plenty of cars and plenty of deals. Visit SDHondaDealers.com today. It's good to be back. Buy Constant Contact. Ever feel like you hit a roadblock when marketing your small business? Constant Contact combines email marketing with social media. It helps you overcome that barrier. Visit ConstantContact.com and get started. Well, it looks like we've got it back up here this morning. As you travel on the 163 southbound of Genesee Avenue, there's an accident. It's one car. It's on the off-ramp. 52 westbound in Santee before Mission Gorge Road, an accident on the right shoulder. And the 805 northbound at University Avenue, there's a bus that's blocking that off-ramp. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer, has a $25 mail-in rebate. For any True Start or True 2 battery installed, why wait? Visit the experts today.
See your participating Toyota dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning being brought to you by Bulky Boy's clothing brand. It's good and tight and right for all sizes, big or small. Check it out at Bird Surf Shed. Surf-wise, today looking at a weak combination of a little bit of a west-northwestern that's filled in slightly, secondary southwest on the fade. Overall, though, really small surf in that kind of needle-waist-high range. Maybe a few chest-out ways that stand out spots open to this total small combination. Peach break's going to be your better bet, especially by those structured areas. There is a bit of a wind on it right now with the overcast that you'll wake up and find. A little south-southwest wind putting a texture crumble, so once again, those areas... more protective from that wind direction, are going to look a little better. You can expect that water temperature to drop off a bit, too, as that northwest windstorm is picked up slightly as the southwest just kind of fades out more. Pretty weak this morning, and you could give it a pass if you'd like. I'm going to. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com, and for all your surfboard restoration and reparation needs, you'll see Joe Roper down at Marina Boulevard. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9.
This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Come on, man. Wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing Cargill shorts right now. On FM 94.9. That's some crooked... That's some crooked... Crooked... I'm crooked blusher. We're going to be doing... Food Fighters for Foo Fighters in just a moment. We're doing a thing now where we give you a YouTube Comic of the Week. We've got some pretty good ones. Brian Regan. I was reading about the walkie-talkie, and I read it was a military invention. That surprised me, because usually military stuff has strong names, you know? Apache Helicopter. Tomahawk Missile. Walkie-talkie? How did that slip through the system?
It's a general talking to some guy. What do you have there, soldier? Well, it's a new communication device. It's untethered, which will enable the troops to speak effectively when they're in the field. What's it called? Walkie-talkie. Look, I'm walkie and I'm talkie. Now you walkie and talkie, general. I'm walkie and talkie. Now you walkie and talkie. Just getting it. I like it, soldier. What's this explosive device? The whammy kablammy. And this is the rooty tootie aim and shoot it. I love that guy. I love him. Woods is, he's halfway in on him. Come on, Woods. He's not cussing Woods. Come on over to the light side. He's halfway in, he's halfway out. What do I always say when it comes to comedy? I want straight filth. As filthy as it can get. Not you, Mike. Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's harder to do the cleans. Yeah. That is true. We would know. Again, Woods, I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's the FCC's fault. Well. No, actually, it's your fault. Yesterday, I played audio of an older couple that were trying to figure out how to use a webcam. Genius. It was pretty awesome. And they are... Bruce and Esther Huffman. Well, the video went viral, man. I mean, absolutely viral. Everybody loved it. And all it is is just them trying to figure it. It's funny what older people trying to figure out this stuff. So anyway, it became so popular. Good Morning America had them on yesterday. Bruce, tell us what life has been like now that you're an Internet sensation.
How's it like? Well, I guess if 1.6 means we're a sensation, we accept it. They're talking, by the way, through their web game. How about you, Esther? That's okay, yeah. That's okay. Esther, did you even know... Kind of like Andy Warhol, having our 15 minutes of fame. You're getting the most out of this 15 minutes, and it's making us laugh, and that's exactly what we need at this point. But Esther, did you even know what YouTube was? When we do what? Whoa! Did you have any idea about YouTube when your granddaughter said she was going to post it on YouTube with your blessing? Oh, not at all. I never used it before. I said something about... Hey. Hey, Jotty Cathy. Yeah. Hey, scene stealer. Okay. Freaking hang on a minute. Tap the brakes, Bruce. Tap them, at least. Step out of line, my person. Gosh, darn it. The tube. And that's a YouTube. Not a MeTube, it's a YouTube. God, God. Do you get it? Bruce and Esther Huffman. Esther. I know. That's a name that you don't hear a lot anymore. It's my mom's name, but you don't hear it very often. Here's a little bit more of these two. And you know what you all were saying, which is so true, that we all in this country need a good laugh. And you all have been great sports about this, haven't you? And you've wanted to lift people's spirits, haven't you?
No. We were trying to figure out how to use a webcam. Yeah, our grandson gave us a webcam and we just wanted to use it. That's it. We weren't trying to be... We weren't lifting anybody's spirits. We accidentally filmed it. We thought we were still figuring it out. Turns out record was on. That's right. And it also turns out that we accidentally made you happy. Right. But we didn't intend to. Happy birthday. Yeah. And another thing... We haven't really lifted the country's spirits. You know, you're... sort of overselling us just a smidge. We're not patriots. We're not fallen soldiers. We're not patriots. We're not heroes. We're tired people trying to figure out a freaking webcam. We live in West Palm Beach. We eat at Sizzler at 3 o'clock. I would think Sunday's commemoration of September 11th and those stories would lift the country's experience. We were trying to figure out a webcam. And we lied to that. Yeah, we're the happy Huffmans. Well, you guys are doing a little flirting. I know you've been married about seven, seven and a half years.
Do you guys still make love? 92 months. Almost 92 months, yeah. We'd celebrate every month because it's just... Seven and a half years. The widowers. You were saying that your husband has been pretty popular around town, Esther. So what are folks there saying about you guys? I went down and first got some lunch yesterday and everybody was applauding. So I thought, my goodness, I've never... I would like to say I have had an avalanche of calls. I think I heard from my doctor and somebody I owe money to. So far. And our ministers, too. Our ministers called. I don't know if we're going to be excommunicated because of that little part in the video that was a little risque. They're like, oh, God, shut them up. Just shut them up. It's the hardest interview she's ever done. Ever. She, as soon as this is done. Robin Roberts goes, the hell was that? Are you guys freaking kidding me? I interviewed Tyson after his rape case and it wasn't as difficult as that. I had the famous Chris Brown thing. Look what I got out of him and what we got from that. So let me just go through paperwork here. So today's show has Obama and I've got Esther and Bruce Huffman. The happy Huffmans. Who's their publicist anyway? The happy Huffmans.
Must have been tough to get that one. I'm worried. Well, Bruce and Esther, thank you for really lightening our spirits. And Bruce, I can see that you're quite a singer. So why don't you serenade us? How can she see that? Here it comes. As we say goodbye. You're going to sing Blue Skies. Blue Skies smiling at me. He's so shy. Do we see old bluebirds singing a song? There's nothing but bluebirds all day long. Cut. That's it. I'm Sylvester Huffman, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, boy. Robin tried to sing along. She was on the wrong verse. Yes. I wish that they'd been on the Today Show because then, at least then, you would have had Matt Lauer going, I understand there were some arrests in your past. Like started digging in. Yeah. I understand you actually, Esther, used to work as a prostitute. Is that right? Is that right? The reason you guys have only been married for seven years is you both did life sentences. Right. Murder of an entire town. Esther, am I to understand this correctly? The reason that you are a widower is because of dalliances that you had in the past that led to the demise of your husband, your former.
Aren't you, in fact, called the elderly black widow? The elderly black widow. Is it true that what you guys had in common when you met was that you both killed your ex-spout? Right. Yes. It says here in my notes that both of your wife and your husband passed of poisonings? Interesting. Is that right? Because that's interesting. Michael Moore, who you know. As a documentarian. You're one of your favorites. One of my least favorites ever. You have that Michael Moore t-shirt on. I do not. Right now. I love Michael Moore. I do not. You went to the Michael Moore book signing last year. No, I didn't. Waited in line forever. He took a day off. Yeah. He is very liberal. I'm very conservative. And Michael Moore believes that we should not have killed Osama bin Laden. I want you to take that in one more time. He believes that we should not have killed Osama bin Laden. And many of the victim's family said that they felt closure when Osama bin Laden was killed. But you said you don't think he should have been killed and people should not have been celebrating. Explain. Please. I think that we did a very smart thing putting the Nazis on trial. That was after the war was over. I think that...
The war is over. We're still at. We're still at. No, Michael. The war's not over, Michael. That's a tassel back getting him, isn't it? Yeah. She's a beating. I know. Pick the lesser of two evils in this one, I guess. And can we all just acknowledge, yes, she is. And we all know it. Just because she's a beating don't make her wrong about everything. Still at war. No, we're not, actually. No, actually, we actually are. We're actually deploying more troops. Right. Tell that to the wives and the mothers of the soldiers that are there. That are at home. And the husbands. We are still at war. We have built a whole homeland, a national security apparatus, spending billions of dollars of our money on something that has nothing to do with a real threat. We're still in Afghanistan and our own CIA... Nothing to do with a real threat. By the way, the big news. on September 9th of this year was that there was, in fact, a very credible threat of another attack on 9-11. What is he talking about? He tells us that there's less than 100 members of al-Qaeda in Afghanistan. Yeah, well, we've been on high alert a lot for 10 years. Well, we've been on high alert for 10 years, so there's no threat. Everything's fine.
My point is that the way we show the world that we're different is that we give even the most heinous person their day in court. If they applaud after that, SG&Ts always get applause, by the way. Sounds good. Sounds good. Not true. Not true. SG&Ts always get applause. Free health care for everybody. Well, do you think that they would have rather, because they captured. Saddam Hussein, you know, dug him out of that hole and then they let him do whatever needed to happen. Do you think that the soldiers would have preferred having him alive? But that's just not the way that the situation lends itself. Well, I mean, I don't think that Osama bin Laden was going to be taken alive. I don't think so either. When they walked into the room, it'd be hard to look that guy in the eye. We had an AK. Right. But if he didn't, do you think they would have preferred so that they could have? I wonder if they would have taken him alive if they could have.
Well, there was a deal where they could have bombed the place and they could have, you know, Obama's deal was he wanted to make sure that there was a body to prove to everybody that he had died, even though we've never seen the body. That doesn't mean I believe he's dead. Trust me, I believe he's dead because we'd be hearing. He'd have a book out by now. It's through Simon & Schuster. Hello, I'm still here. I'm still here. You saw Joaquin Phoenix movie? I'm the original. I'm still here. I'm still here, too. I'm here to part two. Yeah. We lose sight of that basic American principle. There's the applause. We put the Nazis on trial. We put Manson on trial. After war is over and peace was attained. I'm sorry. Look, I hear you on the election. Yeah, why Manson? Why bring up Manson? I mean, he's a heinous character, but not really comparable to what he did. But wait a minute. You're telling me Osama bin Laden, responsible for slaughters of I don't know how many thousands of individuals, deserves a trial, but where? In New York City, the site of the slaughter of our own 3,000 on 9-11? Absolutely not. How dare? Why? Because Casey Anthony's trial went so well. We should put Osama bin Laden on this table. Wait a minute. What are we afraid of?
you would. He made one ridiculous comparison and she made another ridiculous comparison. The sound that you're hearing in the background? I wasn't sure if we were going to play past that. The sound that you're hearing in the background is the sound of... Pack those full, Chris. Don't stop now. One of them is shorter. Keep going. The sound you're hearing in the background is the sound of whipped cream. We've got pies. We're going to do food fighters for Foo Fighters. We've got five pies, and on the bottom of the pies are CDs. One of them is a Foo Fighters CD. Save me some whippets, Chris. Oh, well. Chris didn't know what you're talking about. Yeah, because he's a good kid. And he was born in the 80s. That's right. He was born about the time that was wrapping up. The whippets. I still do it, Mike. That's why I have four kids and never wrapped up. Jay is literally gimping around the studio. Looks like Quasimodo. He looks like a teenager with a back problem. See, I was going to say he looks like a grandfather. But it's like he's wearing skate clothes. Right. And he looks the way that he looks. He's got a good body. He's got his Coachella wristband on. Still from Coachella. That was in April.
He's going to have that on when he's 90. Yeah. At his 90th birthday. I went to Coachella. Yeah. I saw Jay-Z. He's going to be 90 years old. His daughter is going to be like, Dad, really? With a Coachella bracelet? He's going to be giving her away at her wedding. Right. He's going to be wearing his Coachella bracelet. I saw Jay-Z. He'll be giving Jasper's son his Coachella bracelet. Right. I want you to have this. Save those, Jay. I want you to have this, Jasper, because Daddy saw Jay-Z. You don't know who he is. No one does anymore because it was 45 years ago. Just want you to know that. Have you guys heard about the Sarah Palin book? Yes. I mean, this thing is gnarly. The guy that wrote it is a badass. I've read a couple of his books. Which ones? Fatal Vision. Oh, dude. Fatal Vision. Did you ever see the movie? It was made for TV. Did you see it? No. Brill. I guess I shouldn't criticize it. I don't see it. And the book is even better. Joe McGinnis, the guy knows his stuff. That's why I'm buying this. Wait a minute. He knows his stuff? Yeah. All right. Well, let's take a listen to this. He's not a hack. All right. That's what I'm saying. Let's listen to what he had to say about this new book on Sarah Palin. Now, I'm going to let people know, too. It's not like I'm a big... I am not...
A Sarah Palin fan. No, no, I want to be serious. Because I don't want people to think, you know, when it comes to who I go by politically, I'm not a Palin person. Anyway, here he is, Joe McGinnis, author of this new book on Sarah Palin called The Rogue, Searching for the Real Sarah Palin. The Rogue, a 318-page takedown of Palin by best-selling author Joe McGinnis, paints a scathing portrait of the woman who could have been vice president. An utter fraud. An absolute and utter fraud. You'd call her a 10th grade mean girl. Oh, those are kind words compared to a lot of what you would hear in Wasilla today. The thing that I found, Savannah, that really surprised me was that the people who know her best like her least. That's an interesting point. Because A, I think that that could be said about all of us.
I think that you can add to that the people that know her best probably also like her the most. Right. I think it goes both ways for all of us. When you're close to somebody on a regular basis, you really get to know them. So, Woods, I love you like crazy and you drive me crazy. Ditto. Yeah, exactly. I know that I drive you nuts, but I also know you care about me more. Absolutely. So, doesn't it kind of... There's a thin line between love and hate. Yeah. Good point. I think it depends on the type of hate you're talking about, though. Because I just hate you, man. There's no love. Yeah, I really just can't stand you. Yeah, Mike, I mean, I agree with you except for the part about loving you. About loving you or even liking you. Just liking you. Even really just tolerating you. You repulsed me. You're disgusting. Yeah, I almost just threw up my mouth. This is the way I... Hold up. Kim asked me about you yesterday. I said... When I try to say Moe. Please don't play that. I hate that. It's so good. I beg you. I'm begging you. There's that one part that gets me in there. The liquidy part. So the allegations in this guy's book are that she did coke and there's some sex stuff in there.
Here's the cocaine thing. Another bombshell. McGinnis writes that both Todd and Sarah have used cocaine in the past, a claim that has not been verified. How do you substantiate something? Now, this is what really kind of irritates me. I would love to get into his past. Oh, yeah. Joe McGinnis? Yeah. Dig up those skeletons. Yeah, I just want to see what Joe McGinnis has been up to. Right. Well, and here's the thing. We had a president that did cocaine. At the end of the day. It's not about why this, Mike. It's about what's next. He's also not running for president, though. George Bush did cocaine in his past, and he was the president. It's like everybody, anybody running for president, they've all done something. Right. Everybody. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. They've all had some kind of weird thing happen in their sex life or their drug life or their...
Experimental life. College. College life. Who hasn't, really? Right. Talk to somebody who snorted it with her. And you talk to many of Todd's friends who describe him as having been on the end of the straw frequently in his youth. End of the straw. End of the straw. Snorted frequently. Which is one of the original names I considered for the book, End of the Straw. In the little straw. I'm not saying that Todd and Sarah Palin today abuse cocaine or even use it. But there's no question that they both did. What? That's the deal, man. Who? I don't know. I kind of think I'd want a president that hadn't. You had one that did. Good luck finding one. Hey, then you'd love me, all right? I bet you've partaken. I've done some stuff, all right? That's all I'm saying. It's true. All right, when we come back... Food Fighters for Foo Fighters. Oh, yeah. We are all ready to go with this thing, and we'll do it next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
It's Hillary, and today at noon on FM 94.9, we're doing Desert Island Discs. So what three records would you have to have with you if you were stranded on a deserted island? Are you the Bob Marley, Sublime, Johnny Cash type? Or wouldn't Arcade Fire Radiohead James Addiction Trio float your boat or your raft? I don't care if you pick Black Flag, Melt Banana, and Celine Dion. All right, let's not go that far. Tell us your three favorite records now at fm949sd.com and listen today at noon. Desert Island Discs on FM 94.9. Sometimes life kind of feels like, well, a juggling act. Fortunately, Cricket Wireless helps keep things in control with a cool smartphone like the Sanyo Zayo by Kyocera for under $100. And the best part is Cricket's great unlimited plan with talk, text, and data for only $55 a month. Way less than those other guys. And an awesome price for a smartphone. The Zio's perfect for keeping up with friends and family on Facebook, Google Maps to get around, and has access to tons of other apps. So do yourself a favor and get the Android-powered Zio for $99.99 with no contracts or hidden fees. Plus unlimited talk, text, and data for just $55 a month. Visit a Cricut store or mycricut.com today. So smart.
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This report is brought to you by Kohl's Department Store. Get to Kohl's anniversary sale going on now. Everybody gets $10 Kohl's cash for every $50 spent. No limits on how much you can earn. See your store for details. The more you know, the more you're Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. Okay, we got a couple Cigalerts working. One on the 15 northbound Scripps Poway Parkway. The on-ramps close a car and a motorcycle. Looks like they've got this shut down until about 10 a.m. Another one on the 52 westbound in Santee before Mission Gorge Road. This is the left lane that's blocked here. Fire departments on the scene, there are nails scattered all across the lanes. The 125 northbound, that's backed up to the 94. And the 5 southbound before La Jolla Village Drive, there's a car stuck in the center divider. This report also brought to you by ExxonMobil. At ExxonMobil, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level. Helps remove deposits so your car will run cleaner. Just one more. more way they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
We had a great show today. We're going to be doing Food Fighters for Food Fighters in just a second. We're also going to be talking to Perry, who is the girl that we set a date up with Chris. And we haven't talked to Perry since they went out. So we'll be able to talk to Perry in just a little bit. You'll hear from her for the first time since they've gone on their date. I had to restrain from speaking to Perry during the break. As did I. Well, because we all know we would just absolutely pepper her with questions, and we want to wait until we're on the air, and we want to be respectful. Why are you staring at me? Well, because, you know, Woodsy, you make me a little nervous when it comes to the questions. Kids are very respectful. Just ask my missus. Uh-huh. She's actually here today. Yes, she is. Looking foxy. I want to squeeze him. Oh, boy, Jay. That is true. She looks gorgeous. She does. Well. It's because you have big jugs. Well, that's part of it. It's a man's wife. That's my wife, Jay. That's your playing drops. Bring on the bigger. All right. Hooters, hooters, yum, yum. Oh, wow. He's not. I got a thing. Oh, Jay. That's a little offensive. A little bit, minus the little. Okay, so J.J. Abrams has signed on to do Star Trek II. Must miss. And, well, you can say must miss, but the first one made $200.
And $57 million U.S., 385 mil worldwide. All right. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, so the Arizona Diamondbacks are coming to town this weekend with a chance. to clinch the West, but in order to do it, they need to beat the Padres three straight times. First game is tonight at 7.05. Padres are on the season right now, Mike, 63-87. No, that's not good. It has been a rough one. Also, your boyfriend, Tim Tebow, Denver Broncos third-string quarterback, Tim Tebow, your boyfriend. This is new, all right? This is new. What's new? Well, referring to him as my quote, You use your brother in Christ more than your boyfriend. That is a true statement. That is a true statement. That is a true statement. That's not even a joke. No, it's not. It is a true statement. And it's funny because that's why Woods believes I like him. He thinks it's the only reason. He's a gamer. I think he's a gamer. Truth be known, yes, he is my brother in Christ. And, you know.
You're not the only one. He had the most popular jersey last year. That's right. Woods, what were you going to say? Well, at any rate, if you watched the Broncos last week, you noticed that Kyle Lorton didn't play bad, but he didn't play great. Typical Kyle Lorton. Most of the entire stadium was chanting, Tebow, Tebow. So Tim came out and said, quote, well, I guess I appreciate the support, you know, but we got people in charge here that we trust, and I trust they're going to do the right thing. So thank you, fans, but I think I'm going to. bide my time till it's my shot, which is a good thing to do. And it will. I mean, at some point, it'll probably be his shot. And you will be super excited. You will rejoice. Rejoice that day. For lack of a better word. Amen. Hallelujah. The guy's a Christian. You know, okay. Yes. He also plays for your bitter division rival, Denver Broncos. Yeah. I don't like the Broncos. You like Tim Tebow? I like Tim Tebow. I think he's a great player. Wish we'd have got him as a backup to... Anyway. We've got Billy Volek. Yeah. We don't really need Tim Tebow and, you know, Ephesians on his shoes, real good. Ephesians on his shoes, real good. Well.
That's a different way of putting it. All right, you guys ready to do some food fighters? Yes. For food fighters? Yes, sir. So let's get all of our people ready to go here. What we have is a table set up, and the table has five pies. They will have to put their hands behind their backs, and they will dig into the pies, and they will retrieve a CD which is at the bottom of the pie. One of those CDs has got... One of those CDs is a Foo Fighters CD. And whoever gets that is going to see the Foo Fighters. Now, let's see. Five people. We've got M1 Harold. We've got M1 Jay. M1 Tim. M1 Chip. And M1 Jess. Jessa? Jesse. Okay. Are you guys ready? First of all, let me see. Tessa, am I going to say hello? Hello. Hey, Jay. Is that world feed panel? World feed panel. It's on. It's up. It ain't working. It's not? Nope. What? On, up, not working. One more time. Say hello into that mic. Hello. Maybe it is. It's just really, really low. I can't tell. Yeah. Oh, look at broken back guy. Oh, no. One more time with that mic. Hello. Yeah. There we go. Perfect. Okay. What I'm going to do is I'm going to say, on your mark, get set, go.
At that point, you guys can start to eat through your pies, get to your CD. And as soon as you get the CD, what I want you to do is read it and see if you have the Foo Fighters CD. Whoever has the Foo Fighters CD, hold it up. On your mark, get set, go. Oh, my God. Oh, they have their face in the pie right now. Harold's doing the slurp method. Harold's doing slurp method. Oh, my God. No hands. No hands. They're all slurping now. They see that slurping is the best way. They're eating. I can see that Jessie is pulling up the cross. She's got hers. She's got hers. Go ahead and read it. Jessie not only was the first person to get to the CD, but she was... The Foo Fighter winner. That's the other contestants crying because they didn't get it. That's right. That is Jesse's child. And congratulations, Jesse. Congratulations. Very well done. Very well done. He's a little bit scared that his mom's face was stuck in a pie. I think, yeah, it freaked him out just a little bit. Maybe. Chip, what does your CD say? What does it say? Get.
Yeah, there you go. And Tim, what does your CD say? Let's see. Sorry, Charlie. Oh. Harold, what's your CD say? Foo Fighters. Really? It says Feast. Feast on a pie. What's your say, Jay? Semi-pro baseball player. Yeah. Semi. Actually, it says L-O-V on it because it's a black seed. Oh. You get it? It's Che. Well, thank you, guys. Thank you for competing. Good job, Jesse. And a big round of applause. Save those pies. That's right. Thank you, guys. Jay's taking those home. Those crusts. I ain't going to throw that crust away, Mike. You can't. Jesse was going to have lemon meringue pie for lunch, key lime pie. Listen, you put a little can of beef stew in there, and it's like a pot pie. You're fine. I know it's graham cracker. You can still eat it. I know it's graham cracker. It don't matter. That's fantastic. Well, thank you guys for competing. We appreciate it. Thanks a lot. All right, so we're going to do something that we've never done, but we wanted to see if this goes anywhere. It's called Cheesy or Sleazy, and here's how it works. If you have ever been hit on, and Woods has used them before. You talked about it earlier. Pickup lines. What we're talking about here is the pickup line that you got, was it cheesy or sleazy?
Cheesy meaning, yeah, it was cheesy, but it worked. It was cheesy, but it worked. Or was it just, and we're going to be the ones that decide. Right. We'll listen to it, and we'll tell you whether we think that it was cheesy or sleazy. 570-1949. Were you ever a line guy, pickup line guy? Only when I was drunk. So, yes, I was. So a lot. So pretty much all the time. Back in the day, pretty much all the time. Yes, and I used all the dirty classics. All of mine were sleazy. Are those mirrors on your pants? Now, this was before the days that everybody knew those lines. So they'd make them laugh, but I never got anywhere with them. The one I used that worked was in Chicago, and I told a girl in a bar, I'd love to cook for you sometime. Really? And it worked. Now, Woods believes that it worked because it was a good line. It was. It was. No. The reason it worked is because you were tall and handsome. And skinnier. A lot skinnier back then. Woods often thinks various things worked for him. What was working for you was the fact that you're a decent-looking man. Yeah, decent-looking, but with a nice mouthpiece, too. Yeah, that is true. That is true. 570-1949.
It's called Cheesy or Sleazy. You tell us, what did they say to you? What was the line that was used on you? And we got to have Chris is now taking the calls. 570-1949. You can also, if you want to, text it in. You can text it at 949-MIKEY. At gmail.com. I had a sleazy one that worked. Oh, wow. Weird. I don't know if this is one that people use or if it was just this guy, but he said, I like your shirt. And I was like, oh, thank you. And I did the thing where I looked at it and kind of puffed it out and stuff. And he goes, yeah, it looked better on my floor. Wow. Now, I have heard that. You liked it, L.O.B.? I thought it was good. I thought it was clever. Did it work? I mean, it helped that he was very handsome. Did it work? Yes. She said, yeah. Like, did it work? Oh. My shirt did not end up on the floor. It was on a chair. The back of a chair. Ended up on a chair. Right. Backseat of the car. It was flown out the window somewhere as a flag. Wow. 570-1949. Any other ones, Woods? Did you use any of them? I drank a lot, too. And it was mostly... Oh, boy, do you get brave. Liquid courage. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You should, I think, oh, never mind. I think I might have dropped hints at a bar before that I play guitar and sing and would like to sing. Weird. Might have, Woods. Might have. Might have. What did that sound like? Dude, I don't know. I drank a lot of Captain Morgan. You know, a lot. By the way, Woods is performing tonight with his brother-in-law. Yes. And what's the name of the place? It's Bootlegger. Cool. It's on Market Street. It's on Market downtown. Market downtown. 6 to 9. 6 to 9. Yep. I'll be playing from about 6 to 7. Maybe from about 6 to 6.05. Depending on how I feel. I'm a little nervous. We have discussed a lot of it off the air. Can we pull the curtain back? Yeah, pull it back. Pull the curtain back. Well, there's been a lot of discussion about the set list. Yes. A big question. The set list. Now, I still don't know what the set list is. All I know is that the set list will be comprised of songs that people know and that are popular and that people know. Now, this goes against Woodsy's original idea. You, Michael R. Esparza, officially have shamed me, your friend, one of your best friends, into changing...
My entire philosophy and set list. There you go. Thank you so much. Good job, Mike. Give him a round of applause. Well done. Initially, Woods said, yeah, Mike, it's going to be great. I think I'm going to start out with Stephen Baker. Big Stephen Baker song. The Puffcake Roses. Puffcake Roses. Now, I'm also going to do Lemon Drops and Sandals. They're a great band. Out of Boston. Yeah, out of Boston. And I'm going to do Shaky Tree. I'll probably wait until the very end to do Shaky Tree by Danielle Brisbane. And then, you know, we'll just see where it goes. And I said, but Woodsy, the... I don't know those songs. I've never heard any of those songs. And he goes, so what, dude? Who cares? I like playing them. And then Jay was in the room at that point, and Jay goes, why don't you just do that at your house then? Exactly. Because you like playing them so much, why don't you just play them at home? My argument, I thought had held water, and it didn't. Mike does speaking engagements at churches and camps and stuff. And I was like, well, Mike, I think sometimes they just go to see you.
They go to see Michael R. Esparza speak. And I'm like, you don't tell them everything that they already know. Maybe I want to turn them on to some cool new stuff. Well, it would be like this. It would be as if I went to a speaking engagement and spoke Latin. And everybody went... I don't understand. But I'm not singing in Latin. I know, but you might as well be. Why? Because I don't know the shaky... I get what he's doing. Me or him? What you're doing, Woods. He just has to sprinkle them in. Now, okay, and listen, I'm not that good. Here's the deal. No, listen, I'm not that good. I want to, when you are singing, if you're a cover artist, like I am, strictly, you only want to play songs that you know sound good. I have now taken all those songs that I know sound good. They're out the window. And I'm not playing them. Listen. And I've added in stuff that I don't necessarily feel comfortable playing. Check this out. Yesterday, Woods was listening. We're off the air. And I'm playing Fleetwood Mac songs. And we're all digging it. We're all talking about Fleetwood Mac. This is all off the air yesterday. Woods picks up the guitar. He doesn't even know the song. All of a sudden, he just starts playing it. And we're all like.
Whoa. How do you do that? Like he's listening to the song and all of a sudden he starts singing it. And I go, dude, why don't you do that song? He's like, because I can't play it. I can't sing it. I go, you're playing it. It's not that easy. And it was good. Dude, you made it look easy because you picked that guitar up. You just started playing it. It's different on stage. All right. There's a ton of songs that you do well that are known instead of the mystery songs that you like to throw out. He does like the mystery songs. Maybe you zip your lip in there. You're not even coming, Jay. Yeah, Jay. Jay, you're not coming tonight? My back's out. My back's out. Mike? And I stunk. I can't. I just can't. I want to, do you? I'd love to see you up there. For $25,000, I'll come. I'll tell you that right now. I'll tell you what. If it was at REI, I'd go. If it was at Cow's Mountain, I'd be there. I'd climb it. 570-1949 is the number. People are calling to tell us they're going to give us a pickup line they got. We'll tell you if it's cheesy or sleazy. M1, Arian from San Diego, are you there? Yeah. What was the line?
Well, I can tell you it worked for one. My husband now called me up at a bar and said, hey, I'm Bill, and this is my friend Bill. And it was a country bar out in East County, so it was a little embarrassing because I felt like I was having a hi, I'm Daryl, this is my brother Daryl. Right. Super cheesy, so anyways, it worked, but it was a little kind of corny, and they really were both named Bill. Wait a minute, wait a minute. This is the part I don't understand. They called you, like, on the phone? No, no, they kind of rolled up to the table. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Yeah, yeah. Now, that's different, the team-up thing? Yeah. Two dudes, you know, because... It's a good move. Well, it's also a risky move. Yeah, it's a wingman, though. It's a wingman. It's a risky move because... What's your husband's name? Bill. And the friend's name was Bill? Yep. Because I wonder what would have happened if you would have liked Bill, too, and you didn't like... What if the guys decide, hey, we both want her. Let's see what she goes for. Well, you know, the worst part is me and my sister. So I think they figured, hey, you know, either one's fine, too. I figured they had the same philosophy. Luckily, the other bill was a bit of a creeper. Lucky for your sister. She was a good wingman. She put up with it. Did your sister end up hanging out with that other bill? She tolerated him enough for me to get my husband's number. There you go.
But that's about it. There you go. Thank you very much for the call. Yeah, that's cheesy. Yeah, cheesy. Cheesy. Definitely cheesy. My brother did that. He was Keith and Keith, and their phone numbers were one number apart. Yeah. And it just happened to be that way, and girls loved it. They'd be like, yes, you're kidding me. You guys are not wrong. M1 Angela from San Diego, you there? Yep. All right, what did somebody say to you? Oh, no, I've used it. Oh, you've used it. Dirty bird. You dirty birdie. We'll tell you if it's cheesy or sleazy. What is it? So, how bisexual are you? That's sleazy. I would probably... Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't have to think about that one. You've said that to girls or guys? Both. So, you walk up to a guy and you go, how bisexual are you? Well, that one's not going to work on me. It'll crash your ass, maybe. So, guys enjoy that, huh? It's worked on both. Yeah. So if you asked a guy how bisexual are you, that would mean that he would have to like dudes too. Yep. No! I would definitely say sleazy. Sleazy. And if it worked for you, then hey, knock yourself out. Very kinky. The guy's like, I'm not bi. So...
noise. There you go. Thank you very much. What? What? What? What did I miss? What did I miss? You missed nothing. M1 Ren from San Diego. Are you there, Ren? Yeah. What's up? Go ahead. Good morning, guys. I had one that I used. It was actually, she found it kind of funny. I had asked her, I was like, hey, so what's up? And she was just like, oh, I'm sorry. I got a boyfriend. And I was like, oh, cool. I like potatoes, too. And she was like, what are you talking about? I was like, oh, I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter. Oh. It's not bad. That is pretty good. Cheesy, but I like it. Cheesy. Cheesy, but it works. Cheesy, but I like it. It was funny, and I hear that girls like a sense of humor, so it works. Hey, Ren, I'm going to tell you, just being honest with you, when you started, I thought, this is lame. Yeah. This isn't going anywhere. It's going to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
By the time you got to the punchline, I was like, I think I'm in on it. The guy redeemed himself. The girl probably thought, which is a good move. You set the expectation low. And then you, bam. You get me. Nice. That a boy. You still dating her? I'm sorry? You still dating her? No, no, no. It was a couple week thing. It wasn't really my thing. It wasn't working out. Yeah. Turned out she was a guy. All right, thank you. That's Ren. When we come back, we're finally going to get to talk to Perry. We have not talked to Perry. Perry is the girl that we set up on a date with Croft. It's Croft. Nicest guy. Nicest guy. He is actually our phone screener. And he's actually an angel. He is, man. He's a really good dude. Well, anyway, we haven't talked to them since they were set up on the date, and so we're going to do that. And we're going to try, with all of our power, to not discuss it during the commercial, because I want to. We all want to, but we're going to try not to. Make some noise in our live studio audience, you guys. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is The FM.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out on this fine Friday. Well, tomorrow you can go see Reverend Horton Heat at 4th and B. On Sunday, there's a lot of shows happening. At Petco Park, Switchfoot will play after the Padres game. At Bird Surfshed at 3 o'clock, the Kooks will do a free show. And later Sunday night, Big Sonic Chill presents Thievery Corporation at House of Blues. This is their makeup show for the Blackout. show that didn't happen. They've rescheduled it to this Sunday. The Mother Hipster at the Belly Up on the 23rd. On the 24th, CTV on the radio and Arctic Monkeys at the Open Air Theater. Bush played 4th and B on the 27th. Portugal The Man's at House of Blues on the 30th and Peter, Bjorn and John played the Belly Up also on the 30th. Still to come, Blitz and Trapper with Dawes and about the music show with the pains of being pure at heart, Ryan Adams, Colts. City in Color with Hacienda, Boxer Rebellion, Black Joe Lewis and the Honey Bears, Company of Thieves, Morrissey, Peter Murphy. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. While Lexus certified pre-owned vehicles have won their share of acclaim, none is more meaningful than the praise from our most important critics, the people who've driven them. Experience the value of a Lexus certified pre-owned vehicle for yourself.
at our Season to Change sales event. Now through October 31st, we're offering 1.9% APR on every vehicle. And everyone is factory-backed, undergoes a 161-point inspection, and comes with a three-year, 100,000 total vehicle mile warranty, roadside assistance, and complimentary loaner car. So stop by and let us know what you think. As we said, no opinion is more important to us than yours. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or San Diego. 48 monthly payments of $21.65 per thousand. Finance. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details. Only a limited number of customers will qualify. No down payment required if qualified. Warranty is three years from your date of purchase or 100,000 total vehicle miles. Roadside assistance coverage only available in the continental U.S. See your certified pre-owned Lexus dealer for details. Offer ends October 31, 2011. Hey, Mike. It's your program director, Garrett. Holy cow. Yeah, good morning. How are you? I'm good, Garrett. How are you? I think, yeah, Woods ran in the bathroom. You're supposed to come in here and do a spot for them? You know what it is? I think it's Denny's. I think it's Denny's, yeah. Yes, it's called the Let's Get Cheesy Menu. Okay. It's available all day, every day, for a limited time. It offers dishes starting at $4.99 Philly. That's awesome. Okay. It looks like they do a patty melt, Mike.
That's really cool. Yeah, they got mac and cheese on it. That's great. It sounds delicious. They got a cheesy breakfast sandwich and sausage, eggs and cheese. Yeah. Cheese sauce, choice of bread, hash browns. Yeah. All kinds of stuff. Well, it sounds good. Do you like it? I love it. You're a Denny's guy, aren't you, Mike? I am. I am. You know I was in Detroit about three years ago. Thank you. And they had a Denny's era. I used to eat there all the time. Hey, listen. Get to Denny's. It's the new Let's Get Cheesy menu. It's available all day, every day. Limited time. Starting at $4.99. Feast. Hi, this is Jack, founder of Jack in the Box. Let's talk to Ronnie on line one. Jay Box, I'm about to drop some knowledge on your listeners. Drop away. All right, check this out. I drop a monster truck limo. Want to know why? Because that's your job? Nah, bro, because I go big or I go home. Boom, that's how I roll. Okay. Yeah, I got a 99-inch flat screen mounted on top of my shock aquarium. Know why? Because I go big or I go home. Yeah, well, I've got the perfect thing for you. My new jumbo breakfast platter. It's huge. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, eight mini pancakes, and your choice of bacon or sausage, all for just $2.99 plus tax. Aw, yeah. I'm going to get ten of those breakfast platters. Know why? Because Ronnie doesn't want to go home? True that. Because Ronnie lives with his parents? Yeah. Try Jack's new jumbo breakfast platter. It's scrambled eggs, hash browns, mini pancakes, plus bacon or sausage, all for just $2.99 plus tax.
Price and participation may vary. Friday is one awesome day. Maybe it's because it's the last day of the work week. Or maybe it's the $5 Friday deals at Vons. Ready meals, healthy snacks. You never know what amazing $5 Friday deals Vons will bring you each week. Like today, Signature Cafe Meatloaf is just $5. Look for other $5 Friday deals in the Vons Circular. Then hurry in. And while you're here, pick up these Vons Club specials. 20 packs of Coca-Cola are only $5 each, plus CRV 12-ounce can selected varieties. Primo Taglio Honey Turkey Breast is just $5 a pound, selected varieties. And Safeway Select Marinated Meats are $5 a pound, selected varieties. Don't miss our three-day sale going on now through Sunday with fantastic savings for the weekend and all week long. And remember to get your flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll get 10% off your groceries. It's all this weekend at Vons. Ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. So I'm at Verizon shopping for 4G. And I say to the sales guy, listen, I want Verizon 4G LTE speed, but I also want selection. And he goes, we've got a ton of advanced Verizon 4G LTE devices, like the new Droid Bionic by Motorola, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1, or the MiFi 4510L mobile hotspot that lets you connect up to five Wi-Fi enabled devices.
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I'm a pretty honest guy, and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it, as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had, like, 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise, Mike. This would sound real good acoustic, wouldn't it? Slow it down real good. Wow. Yeah, right. Woodsy is playing a show tonight with his brother-in-law. How's your uvula? It's a little better. It's a little personal. This morning it was swollen. I had a giant uvula this morning. Slept with a fan on and it blew on your voice. Right in your throat. I woke up and I was like...
The first one's free. The next one goes in your mouth. Which is healthy 364 days a year. I feel great every day. The one day I have a gig, I'm like, I knew it. And you know what? I got in that poop ocean yesterday, too. Maybe I thought immediately I woke up. I was like, I'm sick. Maybe I'm sick. Because you're talking smack about me. Could be. A little Carmack. Could be. That's right. How are you feeling? I feel fine. The uvula? It's a little better. Yeah, I'm killing, sucking on Hall's cough drops. There you go. Well, the show is tonight on Market Street, and it's at a place called Bootlegger, which Woodsy says they have good food. Great food. Woodsy's brother-in-law is an amazing singer. Woodsy's really good. They're both playing tonight. Have you decided you're not using my guitar or you are using my guitar? I haven't decided yet. You know what I'd do? I think I'm going to bring them both. And in case one goes out of tune, I'm going to just pick up the other one. I'm going to be that guy. Hang on, hang on. And go switch guitars like the clowns that do that. I think I will do that. That's cool. I've kind of always wanted to. Just leave Mike's in the bathroom and at the venue. What? Why would we do that? That's what you said your nightmare was, Mikey. What's a nightmare? That he would forget your guitar. What is a nightmare? Nightmare? It's like a nightmare. Oh, only different. Only different.
Yes, I was saying that it would be a bummer, you know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, yeah, it would. Well, what are you going to play then? When you go to your lesson. Yeah. What will you play? After your golf round. If I left it in the... What's a golf round? It's when you hit the little ball. Yeah, I know. You wouldn't know. A golf club. You wouldn't know. It's like all the... The kids in high school that wear the mascara, they're very goth. They're goth, yeah. My Chemical Romance is a goth band. It's a goth band. All right, it's time to give away the VIP package for this weekend for the game. We've been qualifying people, five different people, and the VIP package will include two tickets to the Padre game on Sunday, two on-field passes for the show, two meet-and-greet passes, Two autographed items from Switchfoot and the new album. All of that. So let's give this person a call. Hopefully they're excited. Because that would suck if they weren't. Very much. It should start to ring. Hello? Hello, is this Daniel? Yeah, this is Daniel. Daniel, you are the grand prize winner. You have won the VIP package, bro.
I don't know. Is this on Sunday, right? What's that? This is for Sunday, right? The Switchfoot thing? VIP for Switchfoot, right? Yes. All right. Because I thought you guys were doing the Poo Fighter thing, too. So I was just, you know, I want to go to the Switchfoot thing, too. Yeah. Be married! Well, here's what you won. Here's what you won, Daniel. You got two tickets to the game on Sunday. You're going to get on-field passes for the Switchfoot show. You're going to get two meet and greet passes to meet the band. You're going to get two items autographed from them and the new album. Right on. Thank you, guys. Okay, okay, okay. What's that? Guys, I'm trying to hear. Scream, Daniel. What? Scream. We want to hear your excitement. I am excited. You sound it. You sound it. Daniel.
Yeah. Are you married? Pretty much, yeah. I'm married. Yeah, you can say I'm married. Pretty much married or actually married? Well, I'm married through just like courts and stuff, but I still have to have my wedding and all that. So, you know, I'm half married, I guess you could say. I don't understand. Common law. Well, yeah. Justice of the peace? Yeah. Which one? Should I get a wedding? I guess I should have just said yes to make it. Are you there for me? Yeah, I'm married. Okay. Okay. Let's just leave it at that. Enjoy Switchfoot. Have a good time. Bring your kind of wife. What? What was that? I said bring your kind of wife. Yeah, I will. I'm just imagining, and I love you, Daniel. We all do. We all do. But I'm just imagining when you got married, you had to look in that woman's eyes and tell her genuinely how much you loved her.
And I'm just wondering if you were like, hey, just, yeah. It's good. I do. And I love you. Feast. That's pretty accurate. Oh, man. All right, Daniel. Well, congratulations and hang on, okay? Yeah. All right. Thank you, guys. All right, dude. I think he was smoking marijuana cigarette. He did not break character. You got to give it to him. I will give it to him. He stayed. Yes, as soon as, I mean, L.O.B. had heard one word and immediately did the fake smoking of a joint. And I was like, oh, wow, we have a live one here. Thanks, Mike. Is that the Switchfoot thing? I did the Foo Fighters. A deal with a deal and something. Yeah. I don't know if I can go. I mean, I'll just get them and if I can't use them, I'll just. I'll sell them on Craigslist. Or I'll just put them up on my bulletin board. Yeah, and be like, it would have been cool to go. Show my kind of wife. Toilet paper, I might use them. What is this, Mickey show again? Use it for kindling. Yeah, who are you again? There you go. Let's get Perry over. I want to get Perry over the microphone. Yeah, give it up for Perry. Perry is the girl that we set Chris up on a date with. And it was great. It was like the dating game.
He didn't get to see her. All he had to go on was personality, questions, that kind of deal. And it was pretty cool. Chose Perry. And they went to a baseball game together. We were all there. We were in the skybox. And Perry, you had a good time? I did, yeah. Now, have you guys spoke a lot, a little, medium since then? I'll say medium. Medium. Yeah. That's cool. And you enjoyed the date? I did. It was a lot of fun. He's a nice guy. That is good. Because L.O.B. and I have said no less than 20 times, they're getting married. Before me. Now, we... More than likely. L.O.B. goes, Chris and Perry get married before me and Matt. If. Now, if. Tell me about the relationship. Sorry. You're so presumptuous. You and me have a relationship. If you know someone, it's a relationship. That's all I'm saying. Okay. Well, tell me about Chris. Tell me how it's gone and all that stuff. It's gone pretty well. I mean, we hung out a few days after we got breakfast. And he's a nice guy. He's fun to hang out with. He's really cool. We've got a lot in common and we talk about it.
Things. Chris, you talk about things. Things. Chris, I'm going to ask you to come in here, too. You can sit on Woods' lap. That probably means you, Mac. When you say you got breakfast, was it a long night? You know the answer to that, Jay. Everybody asks that. No. So, Chris, come sit on my lap. I'm not sitting on your lap. This is so uncomfortable. Stop! You're fine. This is really uncomfortable, especially after that coffee incident. You're fine. He doesn't want to sit on your lap. He's hugging me. He's hugging me. He's very physical. Not a teddy bear. Remember when we said to love him? Don't bother him. If you love him, set him free. There you go. So, Chris, have you any plans? I was seeing it. Well, we both wanted to go to the Arctic Monkeys concert, so I was trying to see if I can get some tickets, but I guess it's... Well, Mike will be there for sure. Yeah, I'm sure I can get you tickets. I'll be there. You know them, don't you? Good friends with a bass player. Brian. Brian. Brian Gibbs. You know, because I knew him before Arctic. I knew him before he was in Monkeys. Well, I can arrange that. I know I can arrange getting you guys tickets to that. That would be awesome. That would be sick. When is it? That would be great.
When is the concert? It's tonight, Mike. It's not tonight. It's this month. It's later this 20-something. I think it's, yeah, something like that. We'll work it out. We'll work it out. That'd be awesome. Yeah. You guys go see Arctic Monkeys. Wow, that's great. It sounds like you guys have, what, Jay? Are you going to wait all the way to the 23rd to do something? No, we'll do something before then, but that's something we really wanted to do. Did you have something planned? Jay, it's not about spirit of the moment. It is not true of Jay. Wait, wait, wait. 23 is only a week away? Yes, leave him alone. Turn off his mic. I know. Jay is going to ruin this relationship before it starts. No, he's the slow hunter. Jay's about... Get it done. Stop. You know what Jay's about. Yeah. Jay's about something different. No, I'm not. Let's see. So next weekend, okay, so it'll be a week from today. Definitely can arrange that. Can I ask you guys questions that may make you uncomfortable? I have to because that's, you know, I... Go ahead. What is it that you guys have in common? I would say a passion for music. A passion for music. We both... She's really witty. She really... She has a lot of smarts. Yeah.
So, I don't know. We're both really dedicated to what we want to do and really focused on school. Hey, Perry, what do you like about Chris? He's really cool. He's really nice. He gets my jokes. Yeah. That's really fun. Yeah. And he also can really hand it back. So, that's a lot of fun, too. Yeah, there you go. There you go. So, the plan is Arctic Monkeys. And I guess we'll hear how it goes after that. Anybody like LLB have any questions? Go ahead. Ask away. What do his lips taste like? That was a way of saying, have you guys kissed? Oh, wow. Have you guys kissed? No. No, we haven't kissed yet. That is awesome. You know what, Jay? That is awesome. Jay, not everybody's like you. Everybody moves at a different pace. Oh, are they? Yeah. Some move at a snail's pace.
Snail. Well, we would say snail, but Jay says snail. Snail. Snail. It's kind of like a snail. I think it's French. You are going to fall into the friend zone. Shut up, Jay. Just a couple of girls hanging out. Really? Wait, wait. Woods is taking the microphone. Jay, when you met Kim, didn't you want her to be your best friend? That I made out with, yes. Fair enough. Fair enough. When it happens, it happens. If you wait too long, it doesn't. Oh, boy. Take it from me. L.O.B., do you have any advice that you would like to give to Chris? Let's hear it. To Chris? Yeah. Oh, I think Chris should be himself. Yeah, me too. Right. But when the kiss happens, you initiate it. Yeah. If the kiss happens, all right. Which is kicking L.O.B.'s chair. Wait, wait, wait. Now, we have established this on the Mikey Show before because we've talked about this topic before and we have established this. You do not ask permission. No. You do not ask permission. That is a bad... Perry just said no. Perry just said no. No permission. No permission. Just go for it. Yes. Be a tiger. Right now. No, right now. What? What do you say? Right now. He said right now. Just give her a little peck. Shut up!
They would just make things uncomfortable. Oh, gosh. Well, thank you guys for being good sports. You're welcome. And Perry, thank you. Let's hear it for Perry. Yeah, Perry. Better be invited. Mrs. Aukerman. Mrs. Aukerman. Oh, she's choking on her water. She's choking on her water. So a while back, we were talking about how Gavin DeGraw uh had gotten mugged when he was in new york remember that up pretty good didn't he yeah dude it was it was pretty bad um but anyway he went on uh the today show and told the story about what happened gavin good to see you good to see you what the heck happened to you uh well uh it got complicated because uh because i have a concussion i uh i had a night off I've been on this great tour with Maroon 5 and Train. We've been playing these amazing venues. And I was in the New York area, had a night off, and went down to my venue downtown. And I was out with friends. And I had a night out, and I left my place. And I was walking home, you know, the street that I walk thousands and thousands of times. Literally, I've walked that route thousands of times. And a group of people said something to me, and I turned to see what they meant. Do you remember what they said?
I don't because it was just like the flurry happened. But derogatory? Yeah, the tone was weird. No, Matt. They were complimenting his last album. The tone and that was the... The lights went out. It was kind of like the lights went out. There were at least three of these people. Nobody's been arrested. No, nobody's been arrested. And you got... It's beaten up pretty badly. You broke your nose. You got a concussion. I mean, you don't even get to say you should have seen the other guy. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't know what happened to the other guy. Because I couldn't see the other guy. Right. So, yeah, it was rough. You know, it was one of those rough, rough nights. Gosh darn. Woods has been jumped before. He knows how bad it is. Yeah, that dude was hammered. DeGraw. He was hammered and running lip. There's no question. Well. I think that they ran lip to him and he responded. Absolutely. The best thing to do is just not respond, especially if there's more of them than there is of you. Woods knows that. Yeah, and he probably, like me, had been drinking tequila all night and thought that, why not? Yeah, it didn't work out. No, it did not. Jermaine Jackson actually defended his brother Michael because he would sleep in the same bed.
With kids. He says it isn't that uncommon throughout the world. No, no. It's not normal. And I use that word in, you know, just in a straightforward way. Jermaine sounds different. A guy of, say, 44. That's not Jermaine. To be sharing a bed with a boy of 12. He sounds way different. That's Martin Bashir. Oh, okay. My bad. It's not what most men of 44 do. So when the public hear about this. How do you know that? How do you know that? Well, I'm from planet Earth. Born and raised. Born and raised, planet Earth. And so here on planet Earth, that's how I know it. I just guess, I don't know anybody else. No, but you can't just guess, because see, that happens all over the world, and people don't think of that as... Would you believe that, John? Yes, yes. My son Jake sleeps in the same bed, but he's my son. Right, and you don't give him wine before he goes to bed. Right, and... He's not a stranger. That makes it different. He's not a child movie star. No. His name's not McColkey Culkin. Do you think so? Absolutely. I don't think it does. Yes, it does. I don't think it does happen all over the world. Was Michael too innocent for this modern world, do you think? Absolutely. Do you really believe that? Hey, is it possible that Michael Jackson was just naive?
And that he was just like a little kid himself. And he not only didn't touch these kids, but he was just like a little kid himself. Is that possible? No. Yes. Beat it. I mean, it could be possible. It's not possible because he gave him Jesus. We don't know that, bro. Listen, the only people that know are the people that were there. They could describe his... Yes, they could. And they did. In court. Little Michael. Yeah, his little guy. Well, that could be planted. Yeah, from what I understand. Well, I think what you're saying is they could have gotten that information. Did it look like this? This one it looked like? Yeah. Was it shaped like this? When it comes to older guys and kids sleeping in the same bed, you cannot rationalize or justify. Well, his childhood got robbed from him, so it's fine to sleep with little kids. He was traumatized as a kid. Well, for sure. A lot of people, when they experience something traumatic, they'll stay in that state where things were good before it all... Yeah. Totally. That is true. Totally. And listen, you're right. I mean, there is no excuse for it. The bottom line is that, at the very least, he's guilty of the worst judgment in the world. Absolutely. Absolutely. At the very least. At the very least. He was from the era that...
He was from the era where people would, you know, get into slumber parties with millions of different kids. I wish that we were around him more to tell him, Michael, get this person away from you because they have a hidden agenda. Whether it was all the people who accused him of the child molestation, but at the same time, he saw the good in people. The good. Well, here's the bottom line. They could not have accused him of that had he not had them sleeping in the same bed. Yep. And you can't get away from that. Right. Let's see. Oh, when we come back. Sexy or maxy? My dude. L.O.B. is going to speak to me in Spanish in a very sexy voice. Now, I don't speak Spanish. I don't speak Spanish. She's going to say something, and I've got to figure out if it's sexy or maxy. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. AT&T, want to let you know that AT&T has something exclusive for you called the GoPhone Unlimited. Now, if you have gotten yourself into trouble in terms of credit, this is great because there is no credit check for it. There's no annual contract. And it's a great phone. It's the Pantec P7040P. Really good phone. And you don't have to go through any hassle. You know what it's going to be every month. It's going to be 50 bucks.
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Good financial media station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from that on FM 94.9. It's the first time I've ever done that. So let me just try to get this dialed in here. There we go. Let's make some noise. I want to let people know that createyourdesignonline.com is available for you. It is awesome. And Jared does amazing work. He is a graphic designer. And he can do websites. He can do business cards. He does it all. Thank you to Mike's Barbecue Mesquite Wood Grill. Ladies, we got a mama. Good stuff, man. Brought in food today.
They're on West Valley Parkway in Escondido. And they are Escondido's only full-scale sports bar. They got a TV the size of a garage door. Full NFL and college football package. 40 beers on tap, including 12 local. Cooking all natural mesquite ribs, chicken steak. So good. Bike night tonight, by the way. A bunch of cool motorcycles out there to check out. And the website is mikesbarbecue.us. So, Mikey-thon. October 6th and 7th. It is going to be fantastic, man. October 6th and 7th. And we're going to have a lot of cool auction items for people to bid on. We're raising money for Rady Children's Hospital, their ADI, Autism Discovery Institute.
You know, there is so much information that I want to get out to people about autism as we go into it. You know, one out of every 110 kids is diagnosed with autism nowadays. My son, Jake, is high functioning autistic. And, you know, it's a really, really, it's a blessing. to have jake in our lives and sometimes it's really difficult uh because of his autism um and uh let me tell you if they ever find a cure for autism it will be i mean i just sometimes rebecca and i have talked about it we thought what would it be like we could give this kid a shot and all of a sudden we had this son that was uh you know typical What would it be like? What would he sound like? What would he be like? So we'll hopefully raise a lot of money this year, and that will go towards being able to help kids that have it. And plus, we want to raise awareness about it. Sexy or mexy? Here's the way that we do sexy or mexy. We're going to have L.O.B. give me some phrases, okay? Now, here's the deal.
I don't speak Spanish. And so... This is weird. I know. My parents didn't teach me because they wanted to be able to talk, you know, without me understanding what they were saying. That's a good move. They want to be able to do it with all of my brothers. None of my brothers speak Spanish. There's four boys. None of us speak it. And so L.O.B. is going to read some phrases here. And I've got to figure out if it's sexy or mexy. Keep in mind that I am white, blonde hair, blue eyed. Irish? And you know. Yes. More Spanish than I do. My pronunciation is better than yours, Mike. True. Sometimes it's not always right. That's true. That is a true fact. All right, let's do this. Okay. Are you ready? Yes. Would you like to shower with me? Score one for Mike. I'd say that that is correct. Oh, boy. C, Lauren C. Okay, ready? Yep. De impuestos. That's sexy. Who does your taxes? Okay. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it's not. I was sure that was sexy. Okay. Esta es una película muy interesante. Oh, wow. Maxi. Yes. Yes. This is a very interesting movie. You ever just guess? Yeah, you have to. I guessed. Okay. ¿Quién es su mago favorito?
Very sexy. Very. No. Who is your favorite wizard? Big player at the Mexican Comic Con that they do every year in Tijuana. If you don't get this one right, Mike, you're a Mexican. All right. You have one more. Let's do it. One more time. Maxi. Wrong. Wrong. I want to hold your hand. Oh, wow. Very sexy. Very sexy. You got two rights. I stink at that game. You were a Mexicant. I am. You were a Mexicant. Life would have been very different had I learned how to speak Spanish. I should have. I'm telling you. Would have gotten a lot more jobs. I mean, it was right there. I know. You might have been on, like, Tela Nueva. Calamundo. Yeah. That's right. I would like to read to you from Woodsy's Recap.
Have at it. Wood says, talked to a buddy of mine last night, recently married, and he was venting to me about how his wife has been acting ever since they got married. She gives him a lot of grief for wanting to hang out with his buddies and watch football. She gave him the bit of, this is not what grown-ups do. He was peeved, to say the least. Nothing worse, I think, for a guy than when your wife says, when your wife says, this is not what grown-ups do, what is that? Are you talking to me or are you talking to Woods? I'm talking to you. Why do you have a look on your face? Okay, so the question that you didn't like was, or the statement was, this is what grown-ups do? Yes. I may or may not have used that exact phrase.
With Matt. Oh. Who's not your husband. No. Not even close. Not even close. Well, I think it's close. It's probably close. It's probably close. Yeah, sign me up for that. It depends. Yeah, I guess it depends on who you ask. You've said this is not what grabs. I said this, in fact, about two weeks ago. Oh, boy. It's not the only time I said it, but I... It's the last time you said it. Yeah. Should be. I realized as the words were coming out of my mouth that I was sounding like a nag and I was sounding like a wife, which I don't want to get ahead of myself. Right. But we were having a discussion about... Now, Matt Commerce, my boyfriend, is a musician. Yeah. And he will have fans come to his shows. Yes. Some of those fans are women, mostly women. A lot of them... can be attractive. Some of them may have even been high school girls, which I found about. Now, this is not, I just want to point out, this is not Matt's fault. No. This is not Matt's fault. You don't choose who comes to your game. No, no. It's just a benefit. Well, unless you pay, unless, of course, you're playing a prison, in which case, you know, it's going to be all guys, you know.
He was playing a gig actually at a mall, a public event. Some M1s actually told me that they saw him out there. Right. Shortly thereafter, there was like a comment on his Facebook like, oh, I literally could have listened to you all day. Now, I take that to mean that they literally could have listened to him all day. Because he was really good at what he did. That's what he said. He said not all people that are women. are only doing that because they think I'm attractive. Some people actually like the sound of my voice and my music, which I think was a passive-aggressive dig at me. And his body, you know, because he's got a really good body, too, so that could be in there also. Now, listen, I have to applaud Matt for that one because, because, A, it accomplishes its main goal, which is, it's not my fault. But, B, it secondarily says, you know,
contrary to what you may believe, I can actually sing. Sorry. Which was very passive aggressive. It's brilliant. And I was asking him, what do you have in common with a high school girl? He goes, the same thing I have in common with an 80-year-old woman that comes to my show. They're a human being. Bravo, Matt. They have a pulse and they have a wallet and they can buy his music. Well, at that point when he said that, I was like, All right, that's game, set, match. However, I was so dug in. Yes. I was like, I'm going to keep going with this because I have to, I don't even know what my point is anymore. We've all done this, by the way. We've all done this. There comes a point sometimes in an argument where you realize, oh, no, I'm wrong. Yep. But what are you going to do? What are you going to do? At that point, you're pot committed. You're all in. You're in. There's a couple in here right now. dying laughing. And she's pointing at her boyfriend or husband because apparently he does this, right? Is that the deal? Boyfriend by the way. Boyfriend by the way. I love this girl. Yes. You guys are connecting right now. Well, we've been connected through Twitter. You guys should kiss. What? What? Oh my God.
Oh, yeah. How bisexual are you? My goodness. How many drinks are there? The answer to you is yes. Yes. In, in, in. That's what I love. I drink everything. Anywho. I'm burning in my loins. All right. You're creep, LLB. So anyway. Very attractive. Oh, my God. Then I said. Then I said. Don't look at Mike. Then I said, you know. Oh, man. Wow. Oh, boy. Something's coming. Something's coming. After the words left my mouth, I was like, what kind of an idiot are you? I said, one day, you're going to have a daughter that's going to be in high school. And I'm going to say to her, you know, your father used to talk to girls your age, too. When he was 30 years old. Oh, my gosh. And you're single?
Well, I'm not single. I'm in a relationship with the guy that we're talking about right now. What did he say? How do you respond? First of all, my jaw would drop open. I'd be like, you just pulled that on me? Yeah, good card to pull. The thing is, I get very brazen on the phone. We were not face-to-face. So I was being very brazen. Girls ever get brazen on the phone? I was being very brazen. And he goes... Or text. Oh, yeah, ballsy. Yes, women ever get brazen on texts and phone calls? And he said, yes, and I'll say to my daughter, yes, I was, because I was trying to make a living. There you go. And provide for the family that I wanted to have with. That's a good cover. I mean, a good answer. A good cover. We get where you stand, Jay. I say you sleep with every fan you got. I try to. What did you say to that? I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I needed to talk to high school girls. Oh, my gosh. Yes. And then I apologized. He didn't do any. Now, this is what my question. If I had been boyfriend Matt Commerce, my question to LOB would have been, what should I have done? She would rather him play gay bars. Yes. Yeah. For just gay men. Yeah. That's it. He's a big player there. But the fact is, a high school girl walked up to him.
And started to talk to him. And he talked to her. Now, so the question for Ella B would be, well, what would have been the appropriate thing for him to do? Should it be, please get away from me right now. First of all, I want you to know, I am not going to sleep with you. Second of all, I want you to know, I have a girlfriend that I love. Third of all, I want you to know, this is not about my body. It's about my voice. In my music. Get away from me. Well, the thing that really got me was, you can't help who approaches you. Yes. You also maybe can't help who buys you a drink. Because these two high school girls bought him some sort of iced coffee or something like that. Wait, wait, wait. That's a drink. A drink, by the way. Yeah, a cocktail. They got him a cocktail. Yeah. And she goes, oh, so they're just buying a drink. Just getting drinks from high school girls. Just throwing down drinks, huh? Here's the thing. At first, I didn't know it was a high school girl. I saw the Facebook post of, I could listen to you all day. And then he wrote back. By the way, that's the voice that she hated. Oh, yeah. The girl's typing, I could listen to you all day. She wrote the press, by the way. I could listen to you all day. And he wrote back, thanks for the drink. It really hit the spot.
And so in my mind, I'm picturing like, okay, I go to bed at 830. He plays gigs, and I'm like, oh, you're just yucking it up, just getting drinks, just having. So I was already dug in on the situation before I realized it was a high school girl. Oh, my gosh. That bought him an iced coffee. These are the perils of dating a musician, LLB. And if you can't go to his gigs. You're going to have to trust the guy. I told him I'm going to dress up in a trench coat and a mustache and make sure that he behaves. That's great. Crazy. Fair enough. Here is the tough part. The tough part is poor Matt. He's like, he must see a good looking girl there and he must be like, get out of here. Get out. Go away. Go away. Please don't like my music. Please don't like my music. Please hate me. Please hate me. Please hate me. This is the problem. So, yes. So, I knew I was wrong. He had to go because he was about to go into another gig. It was during the day. And so, I just texted back one word. Sorry. That's it. Sorry. Did he write you back? He called me. I was like, you're a nut. He's so sweet. I know. I'm lucky. Gosh. So, this question is, it goes for both men and women. Is there?
And this is very transparent of me to say, I hope. But is there any better feeling than when you didn't screw up and they're kissing your butt? It never happens to me. Yeah. Honest to God, it never happens to me. So you're telling me. Always wrong. Are you only saying that because your wife is sitting 20 feet from you? Every now and then, the only thing that Jamie ever screws up is she'll forget to pay a bill or something. That's it. I didn't ask for specifics. Jamie just made a look right now like, great. No, I'm serious. It's always me. But I didn't ask necessarily what it is that she does wrong. But it's always me. I'm never like, what a B. I got her, man. I got her. Now I got her. She really screwed up. Never. Sometimes. Other way around.
Sometimes the... I think Matt feels the same way. Like, nine and a half times out of ten, he's wrong. Yeah. But every once in a while, he gets to have these little triumphs. Nine and a half times. Clown. Out of ten. She's not even willing to give him that he's right once. Not a full point. Not a full right. Okay, you're half right. Yeah, right. I guess. Gosh. You know. I know the feeling a little bit. Well, it happens with Rebecca and I where she'll be wrong sometimes. Sometimes I'm wrong. Sometimes she's wrong. I don't think so. The curve? The curve definitely goes my way more. Right. But she's wrong about stuff every once in a while. Isn't Kim wrong about stuff every once in a while, Jay? Always. In his mind. In his mind. In reality. In his mind. You know me. He does not screw it up. I've never screwed up nothing. Ever. In our marriage. Ever. Listen. In fact, I'm thinking about contacting Guinness. Because I have never one time made a mistake in our marriage. Never once. What part of perfect? Don't you understand? I am a perfect love maker. I'm a perfect dream maker. I make her dreams come true. Perfect father. I mean, we all know I'm a perfect father. Perfect. Perfect employee. Perfect boss. That's right. There you go. Perfect patient. To be honest with you, I should be in Playgirl.
I should. Well, I have been. One time. The guys of radio. Different name. That's right. Don't worry about it. Skateboarding heroes. Yes, it was when Playgirl did their skateboarding heroes issue. 1979. M1, Nicole from Temecula. Hi. Hi. I just wanted to know, is it wrong to ask my husband to grow up a little bit and stop playing WoW online? We have three kids. World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft. Leave him alone. No, it's not wrong. Leave him alone? Leave him alone. No, it's not wrong to tell him. No. Hey, Peter Pan, you're not in the friggin', you're not in World War II. Hey, Fantasy League. What about it? It's fake. I make money off that. You're not really a GM. I make money off that. And it's football. Yankees games online? How do I watch a Yankee game? I watch a sporting event. Online. Yeah, on a computer because it's not on TV. Yeah, for three hours. Yeah, it's a baseball game. It's a national pastime. So let me understand. Let me understand correctly. So it's something you enjoy. No, it's something that's badass. It's the national pastime. I'm not pretending to be G.I. Joe. It doesn't matter. I'm not buying maps and plotting schemes to kill Germans. World of Warcraft guy.
thinks that his thing is as cool as you think that your baseball game is. He is wrong. He's not wrong. I don't know how to get that through anybody. He's wrong. You're not really a GM for a team. No, I know. But 90 billion other people that play fantasy football, it's like a billion dollar industry. It's a two billion dollar industry, actually. It's a big deal. And it's fun, and it involves football. Oh, okay. It's not fun, Nicole, so just tell him to not play anymore because it's not fun for him. Should I say, is it okay to at least play a little bit? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit of anything is okay. But if the guy's playing three hours a night, he's got three kids. Hey, Pete, you know, you're not in Never Never Land anymore. Nicole, you can be a father and not a crap dad, all right? Nicole, how long does he play? How much does he play? He plays three to four days a week, and he usually plays right before the kids go to bed. for about, yeah, probably three hours. It's a long time. Three to four days a week. It's a long time. Okay, but I will say in his defense, he's a fantastic dad. He's an excellent husband. And it's the only thing he does. There you go. Give it to him. Give it to him. 12 hours a week. I want to spend some time with my husband. Women like that. I love time. You know, just walk through the room with no clothes on and he will immediately pay attention to you. That's not true. I've tried that. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Ella B's like...
still doesn't pay attention well that works for me uh well adam i gotta go kim's nude running through here i gotta run this dog's gotta hunt this police dog this police dog's gotta hunt uh nicole it sounds like your deal is the same as my wife's deal some way every you know people are different your deal is time you like time we love time well not all of you Not all of you. You do. My wife does and Nicole does. I like time. That's my bit. That's Woods' bit. Time and food. Mine is coffee. Coffee. Mine is coffee. Coffee. Yeah. Mine's time and food. Coffee's, yeah, acts of service. It tells me you love me. It means you love me. Time is not my deal. And it's tough when somebody's deal is time and the other person isn't time. Well, thank you for the call. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. I would give him a little bit of a break. Yeah. Thank you. Somebody told me recently, and it's true, I've got to figure out something to do that is fun. Hobby? Yeah. Something fun. I don't have it. I don't watch them. No, you have a million fingers in a million different pies. You're writing a book. It's not fun when you roll the tacos and stuff.
Wouldn't you do your homemade tostadas? That's not fun for you? Yeah, that's not fun for you. I mean, that's just blatantly racist. I mean, it's blatantly racist. That's what you spend most of your time doing. What about when you're just cutting the grass? For other people? In the neighborhood, just for fun. I don't. Don't you? See, that's just, that's being funny. He actually rolls talking. That's true. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. Here is the topic. You've been knocked out? And it doesn't matter how. Maybe you got knocked out because somebody clocked you. Maybe you got knocked out because you ran into something. You've been knocked out. 570-1949. Make some noise in the live studio audience. 570-1949. 949mikey at gmail.com. Sometimes life kind of feels like, well, a juggling act.
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Coverage details at VerizonWireList.com slash 4GLTE. September still means summer in Southern California. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties. And nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot. Or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita. An experience that tastes so smooth, it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Copyright 2011. Imported and bottled by Food Blind. Fall into cuteness at the Old Navy Baby Sale going on now. This is the final weekend for hundreds of items for babies, like graphics, denim, dresses, and more. With sale prices as low as $5. And starting Thursday, kid styles are on sale from $8. It's Old Navy's cutest sale ever for kids and baby. And it's going on this weekend, only at Old Navy. Select styles only while supplies last. The Old Navy baby sale is on right now with hundreds of items starting at just $5. And this Thursday, kids' styles at Old Navy are on sale from just $8. A little style goes a long way now at Old Navy. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program.
I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black on Anthem 94.9. Some noise in our live studio audience here today. The question is, have you ever been knocked out? And if so, how'd you get knocked out? We got M1 kid from San Diego on the line. You there? How you doing, guys? Good, man. How'd you get knocked out? Dirt bike riding. What happened? Just came up blind. I was hitting a jump, didn't see the other side. Well, I mean, obviously I couldn't see the other side, but what I'm saying is that I didn't judge it right. Right. What they call come up short. Yeah. Just completely knocked the wind out of me. When I woke up, it was probably about 15 minutes later with everybody around me going, you all right, you all right? I'm like, I don't know. I don't even know where I'm at. Dude, man. Did you break anything? Didn't break anything, luckily. Protective gear.
You know, chest protector helmets, things like that. But, yeah, scary, scary, scary thing. Thank you, man. You know, our friends Lori and Kelly. Dude, Kelly has been into gnarly, gnarly motorcycle. You know, like he goes out to the desert, rides motorcycles, dirt bikes. And he's good. He's really good. So he knows how to do things that a lot of guys don't know how to do. So he would take these big jumps. It was like October or something like that. Takes this gigantic jump and same bit, you know, came up short, misjudged it a little bit. He broke all of his ribs on one side. He broke his clavicle, which is collarbone, broke his arm, had to be airlifted out of there. Punctured his lung? I think he punctured his lung. And it was like one year to the day. He did it again. Wow. Exactly one year later, almost to the day. Does he still ride now? He's taking it easy, but he still gets out there, man. Maybe don't go so big. Yeah, the guy likes it. I mean, he likes it dangerous, man. Yeah, it's probably not fun unless you go big. Yeah. Oh, wow. I've been knocked out twice, both by balls. Isolate on that. Definite isolate. Baseball.
No. First one was a soccer ball. When I was in first grade, I was on the soccer team, and they did the thing where every kid had to play each position. Stupid bit. And I was a little petite little thing, and they put me in goalie. And I was standing there, and my dad's, like, big T-shirt on. Hanging down to your knees. Oh, I was terrified. And some girl came up, big girl came up, kicked it, hit me right in the face, knocked me legs up under me. I came up, like, the entire... All the parents, all the players, everyone was above me. And I was like, did I save it? How do kids ever want to play again after that happens? I know. No kidding. I practiced a couple days later. They forget. Yeah, you're resilient. God, you're resilient when you're a little kid. But then my dad knocked me out with a tether ball. How? Second time. He's Napoleon Dynamite. I know. We were on vacation, and I was probably like... I don't know, maybe like seven or eight or something. And he was playing against, it was just him against my brother and sister. And they were bigger than me. And he was like holding, not holding back at all. He was like, yeah, yeah. Like hitting it like in your face. And I came up and it was right at that point where you had to like, you had to go with it. And I was like, I don't want to play. Boom. Hit me right in the face. Knocked me out. I had a tennis ball mark on my face. My brother Steve has one. Above.
the door here in our studio do you see that uh metal device that has a hinge on it okay well back in the day at high schools they used to have the same thing only it was much bigger and and and round fatter oh dude yeah well he opened the door and it fell on his head and uh knocked him out cold and uh i remember you know my mom telling me what had happened and i asked permission i said where is he i was a kid i said where is he She said, he's sleeping. And I said, can I go look at him? And she said, yeah, but be real quiet. And he didn't wake up. And I went in there. I remember he was sleeping with his mouth open. And it was his head had a knot on it that was easily the size of a tennis ball. I mean, a big, big, big knot. Let's see. M1 Gordon from San Marcos. Hi. How you doing? Good. Yeah, I got knocked out. I got punched outside of a bar room. I was chasing my girlfriend's boyfriend, the guy she was sleeping with. And one of his friends, he ran out the side door and I went after him. And one of his other friends backtracked and I put him against the wall. And he was a Southpaw and I didn't know that. He clocked me.
I came to on the ground with everybody in the bar room standing around, ambulance. One of my friends who came to my aid was getting thrown into the back of a police car. And then I blacked out again, and I came to with an ice pack on my head in an emergency room. Oh, my. Sounds like a Friday night for me about 10 years ago. Really? Yeah, we had some crazy nights like that out in Austin. I was a scaredy cat, man. Well, not when you roll with some of the dudes I rolled with. There's no bar fight like a Texas bar fight. And he had a big mouth on you. I was afraid to roll with guys like that. I was happy drunk. In Houston, they never take you to jail, though. What's jail? You know what it is. Yeah, what's Houston? First of all, it's jail and it's Houston. Okay, so they're very similar to jail. In Houston, they never took you to jail? Mm-mm. No, they didn't. Nope. I was riding my bike when I was a little kid, and I rode through. You know how the sprinklers, you know, it will lightly dust the street. Yeah. It'll reach out on the street. Oh, no. So I'm riding them, riding them, riding them, having a ball. I hit a little thing, and I hit my head on the curb. Out cold. Middle of the road. Bike in the middle of the road. Out. Oh, gosh. Old neighbor lady runs up. Dad, Dad, wake up. And she's, like, shaking me awake. And I remember the water going.
Really? Just over and over your face. Across my face. So she picks me up. Where do you live? I live down there. I walk my bike home. Full on concussion. I'm walking. I vomit everywhere. Weird. I try to go to sleep. My mom won't let me go to sleep. They take me to the emergency room. That was your ankle. Oh, wow. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. Time out. Time out. Wait, wait, wait. Woods. Woods. This was the greatest part of it. Jay makes the joke and then silently goes. Very proud of himself. Shakes laughing. I do that, too. He's so proud of himself. He's laughing with the shake. Yeah, I'm good. I got it. That's so big. Have you ever been knocked out? 570-1949. Make some noise in our live studio audience. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Live from Progressive. First caller.
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With sale prices as low as $5. And starting Thursday, KidStyles are on sale from $8. It's Old Navy's cutest sale ever for kids and baby. And it's going on this weekend only at Old Navy. Select styles only while supplies lie. Protecting your car's interior helps protect its resale value. So keep easy-to-use canisters of Armor All Wipes from AutoZone in your car at all times. Then clean and protect your car's interior surfaces anytime. Dash, seats, leather, vinyl, fabric, even glass. Pick up two canisters now for just $8 at AutoZone. See store for restrictions and details. Helping you protect your car and its resale value. Parts are just part of what we do. Get in the zone. AutoZone. Do you owe more than $10,000 to the IRS or to the state? Maybe you're being audited. Or perhaps you have unfiled tax returns like Stacy. I hadn't filed for four years. I was freaked out. I was afraid every day to go get my mail to see what was next. Stacey finally took the steps she needed with the tax helpline. The first time I called, I got very emotional. They immediately put me at ease. Instantly, that day, I just had this huge brick lifted off of myself. The tax helpline is headed by a former IRS agent with over 30 years experience. They can get rid of wage garnishments, liens, and levies. They can lift the burden of uncertainty like they did for Stacey.
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Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. The Padres' schedule is winding down, but the baseball season continues with exciting playoff action. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show is your source for expanded pennant race coverage and the best charges reporting anywhere in San Diego. And of course, we've set up camp at Montezuma Mesa for exciting Aztecs action all season long. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 beginning in October on Channel 4, San Diego. Baseball action continues exclusively. on Channel 4 San Diego as the Padres host their series with a D-back, 6.30 Friday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show. But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4 San Diego. Sometimes life kind of feels like, well, a juggling act. Fortunately, Cricket Wireless helps keep things in control with a cool smartphone like the Sanyo Zayo by Kyocera for under $100. And the best part is Cricket's great unlimited plan with talk, text, and data for only $55 a month.
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Arctic Monkeys' new album, Suck It and See, available now. TV on the radio and Arctic Monkeys live. This weekend, turn your party into a red hot party. Stock up on Frank's Red Hot Sauce for all your faves. Like Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Chicken Dip, the hit of every party. Recipes at franksredhot.com. The Mikey Show. Come on. With Mikey Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be Guy in Schwartz. But I'm super gullible. Lauren. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody for their inside. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Okay, so we were asking people, have you ever been in a situation where you were knocked out? Now, while I'm talking, it could be that you were in a fight. It could be that you had something dropped on you. It could have been any of that stuff. And so have you ever been in a situation,
Where you got knocked out. Let's see. M1 Alex from Vista. You there? Happy Friday, Mikey. Happy Friday, bro. Hey, man. So I was standing out front of my house. It was early morning. I was in some very thin board shorts. And my buddy, I got him the day before with a decent ball check. Like Woods and Jay? Oh, absolutely. We've been doing it for years. But I got him with a good one. And he had about a half-drank thing of water bottle in his hand. Did an underhand flick toss about 10 feet away. Tagged me. And I started feeling, oh, I'm light in the head. I'm going to pass out. I felt like I was going to puke. Next thing I know, he's slapping me in the face. With what? Oh, wow. Yeah, wow. Yeah, he slapped me in the face. And I'd fallen over standing. I was kind of leaning over. Completely passed out. And I hit the ground with my head. Knocked myself out. Do you guys still do that to each other? Absolutely. I had a friend in Texas that got knocked out by hail. A piece of hail. A buddy of ours from high school named David Nichols was walking down his driveway and hail hit him on the head and knocked his ass out. It was a giant hail. Hail. Oh, dude. That's the weirdest thing about Texas. Oh, yeah. The hail. Let me tell you. Or the hail.
As Jay calls it. It's hell. It was a hell storm. Did it cut him? I don't know if it cut his head up, but it knocked him out. Dude, I mean, it'll shatter windshields. Yeah. I mean, mess. It's gnarly. It is. Yep. I got knocked out when I was about four. I climbed up on top of this fence. My sister had put my toy gun in the tree. Yeah. And when I was standing on top of the fence, she took my shoelaces thinking that she would. So I kind of jumped and I swung and I hit my head right on a cinder block. Oh. Forty some odd stitches in my head. I woke up for a minute. Blood just pouring down my face. And I passed out. And I woke up again. I was in somebody's arms. And then I passed out. And then I woke up and I thought, why am I under this cup dispenser? And it was the x-ray machine. I was underneath the x-ray. I cracked my skull. Oh, my God. That's one of my first memories was the x-ray machine. Yeah, it looked crazy at the base. Yeah. because my dad was in the Navy. Mark, my oldest brother, was swinging me by my arms, and both arms popped out of their sockets, and he got scared. Because he heard it, and he felt like a pop-pop, and he got scared, and he was swinging me, so he let me go. And I went, shh. That was pretty crazy. All right, so, Woodsy, go ahead and promote tonight what you got going on, and...
If anybody has anything going on tonight, by all means, please let us know. I'll be at Wizzy's gig. Okay, there you go. I got a gig tonight at Bootlegger, which is downtown on Market from 6 to 9. And then on Sunday, I will be at U31 in North Park for the Charger game. I'll be there from noon to 2, so come and hang out with me in North Park. All right, tonight's thing at the Bootlegger. Do you go on stage at 6? I'm starting right at 6. 6 sharp. All right, so that means... Try to get there early. We're going to get there early. I'm leaving where I live at about 4. I've got to do a sound check. Easy. Do you really? That's kind of cool. I'm freaking out. At the beginning and end of every show, I tell you my story. I call it my testimony. Basically, my story is something that maybe some of you can relate to and some of you can't. The bottom line, the reason that I give you my testimony is in hopes that somebody's listening that's going through the same thing or has gone through the same thing and you find hope in my story. When I was a kid, I was sexually abused. I was five years old. My son Jake's age now. So when I see him, it means so much more to me because I can actually see into the eyes of a child. It's the same age I was.
And I see that innocence. And when that happened to me, I didn't know how to process it. I had no ability to be able to work through it. And it created shame. I just felt ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated by it. And then as I got older, I lacked self-esteem as I was getting older. And what that created. was a personality very susceptible to addiction. There have been times in my life where I have felt completely desperate. There have been times in my life where I have felt completely hopeless. I didn't have anything to look forward to. And always so, so different. When I was in my late 20s and in my early 30s, I was addicted to alcohol. I'd also been abusing drugs.
And my dad, who you've heard on the air this week, who I love so much, man. Gosh, I love my dad so much. He cried and he told me that he couldn't have a relationship with me until I quit drinking. That was a big part of getting me to stop. But the main deal is, is that I gave my life to Jesus Christ. Ever since I was a little kid, I knew who he was, but I didn't have any kind of relationship with God. In 2003, I think I really met him in 2003. And I've been developing that relationship with him ever since. This is the part of my story that I love the most. I am not hopeless anymore. It doesn't mean that I'm not susceptible to depression because I've been real open about how I'm going through that now. I have hope. Absolutely. 100%. No.
It's going to be okay. I'm going to be better, and it's going to be okay. If you're having a problem with addiction, if you have an eating disorder, if you've got an issue with depression, go to MikeyShow.com. And at the top, there's a help section. And if you click on that, it'll lead you to all kinds of resources, places to get help. And so I encourage you to do that. Play a song at the end of the show. And the lyrics hopefully will mean something to you. I'm going to go back. I haven't played this one for a long time. But this is the one that I played all the time in the very beginning days of giving my testimony because lyrically, it's so, so awesome. It's called Tunnel. And it's by a band called Third Day. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next. And have a great, great weekend. Come and see Woods play tonight.
We'll talk to you again on Monday. I'm Lucky Shows out.