The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/19/11

0:25It could have happened to anyone. Could it? Nope. It couldn't. This morning, I made a mistake. An honest mistake. And it's probably one of the... No, no, no. Remember how before, whenever anybody would ask me, what's the most embarrassing moment of your life? What's the most embarrassing thing? I would say it was... When I was in my early 20s working at a radio station and I was really overweight and I had glasses and suspenders on and I was going to bring Judy Collins on stage to bring in the clowns. And, you know, I had gone to the restroom right before I walked out on stage and I tinkled a little bit and it went on my pants. And I had to walk out on stage in front of, you know, thousands of people.

1:29And, you know, there it was and everybody could see it, you know. And, well, that has been replaced as the most embarrassing thing that I've ever done. Wow. I've pooed my pants before and that was less embarrassing than what you did this morning. That is true. Yep. A couple times. Okay. Not brag about that. Well, you know. So, it's 7.30 and Jay doesn't know. Nope. Has no idea. Woods and L.O.B. were lucky enough to be in the room as it unfolded. It all unraveled. And so they will and you will get to learn about that at 730. 570-1949 is our number. And we have a lot to talk about. We had Woods playing his gig Friday night. Tragedy in Reno with the air crash. It was an air racist crash. Real big news on what happened there. You've probably seen it already on TV. They've been showing this accident that happened. It was crazy. So we'll be talking about that. And your calls, please. 570-1949. And text 949mikey at gmail.com. Word of the day is membership. When you hear me say membership.

2:53Between now and 10, caller 9 at 570-1949. I'll give you tickets to see Bush with Filter and Chevelle at 4th and B. And that is September 27th. Going to be a great show. Also, lunch from Surf Brothers Teriyaki. That's going to be good. And so, I'll throw both of those things together and give that to you as a prize for word of the day. Just be listening for that word. Mikey-thon is October 6th and 7th. Don't forget. It's not very far away. And it's 28 straight hours of the Mikey show. The Chargers did not have a good day yesterday. Did not have a good day. Offensively, they had some moments and Phillip Rivers looked both bad and good. Woods, why don't you... fill us in on this puppy. Well, it was, you know, it's overreaction Monday, right? So people are going to freak out. They're going to be upset. It was the Patriots. And hey, for all intents and purposes, we should have won that game. Period. I mean, we... Defense didn't play well in the first half. They played great in the second half. Offense played well in the first half. Didn't play that well in the second half. It was, we couldn't get on the same page. You know, Mike Tolbert tried to do...

4:23a Barry Sanders imitation instead of doing a Mike Tolbert imitation, which is lower your shoulder and drive straight ahead for five yards. He started juking around the backfield, running backwards, running left, running right, fumbles the ball, game over. Oh, wow. And after just a huge stop by the Chargers, and it was rough. It was a rough day. But, you know, Phillip was 29-40 for 378 and two touchdowns, but also two picks and a fumble. Now, I was trying to think of a specific question to throw out there to M1 Nation about it. But instead of doing that, what I want to do is just open the phones to you. And you tell me your thoughts. 570-1949. What are your thoughts? You know, when it was over, my wife said, my wife Rebecca was watching it too. And she goes, well, it's turnovers, man. You do that. And I said, yeah, you know, that's obviously what people will say is the reason. And red zone turnovers. Yeah. Brutal. I mean, you drive all the way down there. You've got to come away with points. Also, the fourth and one on the one-foot line, I think you take the point. Obviously, hindsight's 20-20. Norv decides to go for it. Chargers don't make it. Anytime you're playing the Pats, you've got to take the points when you can get them, I think. Yeah.

5:53But they say, hey, on the road, you might take a chance. But if he gets it, he's a genius. If he doesn't, he's a GOAT. So today he's a GOAT. Well, and anybody that's listened to the Mikey Show for any length of time knows that my deal is that I've always felt that the issue is Norv. Now, I like Norv. I think Norv is a nice guy. In fact, everybody in the NFL that has ever met Norv and has worked with Norv Turner says that he is. He's a good dude. Man, this is charger time. My little boy Jake said, what number is he? And I facetiously said zero. That stands for zero rings. Zero championships. Zero Super Bowls. You know? And it's a Ferrari. The team is a Ferrari. A lot of talent. A lot. A lot of talent. You want to hear some Norv after the game? Yeah. This is him.

6:53You've got to take advantage of the times you get the opportunities that we had. And I thought there were a couple times we came up with big stops. Obviously, we came up with the biggest stop you can come up with at midfield, and then we fumbled the ball back. Yeah, it'll get you. M1 Logan from San Diego. Yes, I just wanted to comment and let y'all know that, I mean, you're playing one of the most elite offensive units in the league. You're exactly right. If it wasn't for those red zone turnovers, y'all would have won that game easily. Yeah, it's a different ballgame. Totally different ballgame. Yeah, and that's the thing, man. I mean, you know, we have to be elite as well, or we'll never go to a Super Bowl and win one. We've got to be elite as well. 5-7-0, 1-94-9. I don't disagree with Logan. Yeah, I don't either. And, you know, I said earlier. The defense really stepped up. They gave up no points in the third. Now, they did give up 15 in the fourth, but one was kind of a late trash touchdown. Offense came through with 14 points in the fourth, shut out in the second and third. That's tough.

8:02Antonio Gates had zero yards. Targeted once. Targeted once. Zero catches. Did not catch one ball. That was, I guess, their game plan. Hey, take him out. But then it's like, all right, so we'll go to Vijay. We'll go to Malcolm Floyd. Malcolm Floyd got hurt again. He came back in, though, right? So weird. I never saw him again. Did he? After he's on the cart? Yeah, they said on television they stretched him out. Well, I didn't hear him make another catch. Yeah, maybe he didn't, but he did come back. Vijay was lights out. Yeah. Vincent Jackson was lots of 10 balls, 172, and two touchdowns. Yep. Killed me in fantasy. I played against him. Yeah. Beat me real good. Yeah, it just is a, gosh darn it. Yep. It was a tough day, man. You got to beat the elite teams. Yeah, you have to. Well, you're going to, you know, you want to win the AFC. Guess who's in your way? The Jets, the Pats, all those guys. You got to beat them sometimes. The Steelers. You got to beat the Steelers. You got to beat, you know, if you're playing. If you play the Saints or if you play the Packers, you've got to beat those teams. Of course. You have to beat all the big teams, the big New Englands and all those. So anyway, 5701949. One call, Charger fans? That's it. That's all they had for us, huh? I guess so. Feast. And, you know, listen. I'm not whining about them, aren't I? Mm-hmm.

9:31But I, you know, I just want to see the Chargers win these games, man. Yep. Games they should win, for sure. Yesterday, you know, Jay was staying on top of me, you know, making sure I know. That's creepy. That's what he does, you know. It's hard to do. He'll keep me. I was going to compliment you, but I still am. You know, he was saying, he goes, hey, man, make sure that you have the Charger anthem ready in case they win. And I was really looking forward. playing that Charger Anthem this morning because there were points in that game yesterday where I went, we're going to be playing that Charger Anthem. We played Charger Anthem on days that we win. Not so much. It just didn't work out. Dang it. Oh, well. Did you hear about what happened after the Mayweather fight? Talk about it, Woodsy. All right. I got to explain this for you. So Floyd Mayweather.

10:35is taking on Victor Ortiz. Yeah. Now, Victor Ortiz is landing some shots in the fourth round. He gets so fired up, he leans up and he headbutts Floyd Mayweather right in the face. Oh, God. Okay? Ref jumps in, stops the fight for a second. Mayweather's pointing at his lip. He's bleeding. Oh, wow. Ortiz says, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Runs up to him, actually puts his arm around him and kisses him on the cheek. Oh, wow. Mayweather's like, he looks at him, kind of backs him like, really, dude? Get off me. They do the bit where they touch gloves, right? Right. Well, this ref, the referee, was a total moron, okay? He's basically looking away from these two fighters after they touch gloves. Mayweather goes, all right, bam, hits him in the jaw, and then, bam, knocks him out. Cold. Oh, wow. Knockout. Yeah. After they had kind of touched gloves and said, all right, cool, let's go. Right. The ref hadn't been like, okay, let's get it on. Fight, you know? They touch gloves and boom, real quick. They touch gloves and he just goes. Quack, quack, and knocked him out. My buddy said it looked like he was coming in for another hug. Like he was going to hug again. Like, hey, man, I'm just sorry. Ortiz, not really. They were just kind of standing there. It was the crazy. So people were like, sucker punch, sucker punch. Listen, you're in the ring and there's still time. Get your gloves up, dude. Guy got knocked out cold. So after the fight, Larry Merchant, who's been doing these for 60 years, it seems like, is interviewing Floyd Mayweather.

12:01And this is what happened. So for you, it was just an automatic response. Let's get on with the fight. Let's protect yourself at all time. He done something dirty. We're not here to cry and complain about what he did dirty or what I did dirty. I was victorious. If he wanted a rematch, he can get a rematch. You were in charge of the fight. You were aggressive and taking advantage of what you saw as a flaw. You don't ever give me a face shake. You know that? So I'm going to let you talk to Victor Ortiz, all right? I'm through. Hey, put somebody else up and give me an interview. What are you talking about? You heard him. You never give me a face shake. HBO needs to fire you. You don't know what I'm talking about. I was 50 years younger and I kick your ass. My gosh. I've never seen anything like it, ever. I watched it so many times. Now, here's the deal. This is the thing. I've never been much of a Merchant fan because, to me, Larry Merchant...

13:10always tries to make boxing into a Maya Angelou. Right. He'll get up when it's all done and he'll give his deal and he'll go, today you saw the crowning and the passing of a baton. And although chivalrous as it may have been on the part of one... Former champ. And I'm like, oh, boy, just talk. Say it. Gosh. Bit it out. Trying to be so eloquent and poetic and all this. He was really pushing Mayweather's buttons. And Mayweather's like, listen, it's over. I want to talk about winning the fight, whatever. And he's like, well, but I don't understand why you would do that. And Mayweather's like, you know what, dude? I'm 42 and I'm 43, you know. You've never given me a fair shake. And forget it. Get out of here. And then it just got sideways. Here's some of Larry Merchant after the events. Big fighter. Reality show. Exactly. In progress. He's a modern reality show. As opposed to an old-fashioned reality show. A talkie. Talkie. Black and white. Are you just going to omit the word day? Is that okay? Are you just going to omit that and it's all right?

14:56Again, he's talking to paparazzi that are asking him about... How you doing, Mr. Merchant? How was your experience last night? I can't stand paparazzis. They disgust me. I'm going to play you something later. It's one of the most... It's a paparazzi thing. I've heard paparazzis get cute and whatever. Scum of the earth to me. Scum bags. Wait till I play you this one. this comedian it's a little bit later on kind of exhilarating in its own way exhilarating i would say i would say but i gotta give you a lot of credit you you what'd you tell him if you were 50 years younger you'd whoop his butt something like that something like that that's amazing i think even if it wasn't true yeah well i think just for that comment alone that you should be with hbo boxing forever no one should ever tell you When to go or when not to go. What's the deal now? Paparazzi now, they want to be a star? Like, they're now a part of the audio? Right. It's like TMZ. Yeah. Reporters have funny things to say. They all have funny stuff. Yeah. So they're looking for comedians in addition to field reporters. They want witty. Yes. I think I've already been there.

16:21Passed forever. So do you think the decision in last night's fight was pretty fair? I mean, maybe it was a legal soccer punch. It's not a soccer punch if it's legal, is it? I can't wait to see it. I haven't seen it. It's insane. I cannot wait. But the definition of, you know, it's not illegal if it's legal. Right. Let's see. The Emmys were last night. I... How excited were you? Why were you texting me all day? Let's see one second. You texted me like 15 times about the Emmys. I didn't text you one. Yes, you did. You were really excited about the soap opera stars. Yes. You asked me what I was wearing and you told me what you were going to wear. Watching it at home? Yeah. I don't want to come to your Emmy party. Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon presented an award together. I don't really know what to play.

17:19Should I play audio of this? Should I? I mean, do you care? That's the thing. Do you care? I mean, I feel like I'm supposed to talk about the Emmys. I personally am like, does anybody care? Do you? Maybe you do. It's fair if you do. Well, I didn't watch. I didn't care enough to watch. But I did read that one of my favorite shows, Modern Family, had a big night last night. I know that. I was happy about it. I think another show that I really like, Mad Men. Won an Emmy, so I was excited about that. Yes. Actually, I looked, I go, oh, that's nice. I'm excited to see the award winners because it's like, oh, it's either reaffirms shows that I like or turns me on to maybe I'll watch that. Yeah, that's cool. But I just don't see the need to televise it. Me too. The dwarf on Game of Thrones won. I think it's Little Person. I think it's Dwarf. I think it's Little Person. Little Person. I think it's Dwarf. What's a dwarf? You are a dork. Good one. Good one. Person's name is Peter Dinklage. Dinklage? Yes. The Dinkster. The Dinkster. And yes, he did. He won an Emmy. Peter Dinklage accepting outstanding actor. He's a good actor. Thanks. Wow.

18:46Wow, I followed Martin Scorsese. Oh, my God. What did he stand up for? My heart is pounding. You are a legend. Their mic comes down. Really small. Well, isn't there a podium? The whole podium, I think, can raise up and out of the stage. I think that's true. I think it does. It'd be perfect for you. It's usually wood, plexiglass, you know. They lower it down. And they can lower it down, you know, and I can... Peer over. Hello? Hello? Poke your head out. Can you hear me? I couldn't do this without David Benioff and Dan Weiss. Yep. Yeah, for sure. Okay. That's it. This is it. I know. That's it. That's why. It kills me. There it is. That's why. That's why I don't like... I don't even like the Oscars. I love film, but I still don't want to see the awards. Just tell me who won what. Yep. Because I don't know who Peter Stroganoff is. Don't you? No. He's only the best... Key grip in the business. Yes. I mean. I don't know his agent. I don't know. And you got to listen to all that. Tommy Johnson Smith from here. From here. Thank you so much. I love you, man. Without Tommy Johnson Smith, I wouldn't be here. You could just say thanks for the people who made this happen and then say something funny and get off. Yep. It's never that. No. Wait till I tell you at 730 what I did. Oh, my goodness. Oh, is it awful?

20:14Is it bad? It's so embarrassing. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Legendary. Happened this morning. Jay is smiling. He can't wait. Jay can't wait. He didn't know. The only ones that know are L.O.B. and Woods. What did you eat? It's not that. There is a school in San Diego County where a nine-year-old may have infected other kids. With the mumps, because he went to school for four days with it. Nice. We'll tell you what's school next. Show on FM 94.9. There are barbecue double burgers with mayo and bacon and cheese. There are 60-inch HD plasmas with cinema surround and 3D. There are billions of dollars spent every year trying to talk us into nicotine. There are mandatory conference calls at 8 p.m. on Saturdays.

21:24There are really comfortable overstuffed sofas that recline and vibrate and have cup holders and coolers built right in. And there are idiots behind the wheels of cars all over the road, and somehow they are always right there in front of you. There are moments when it feels as if the whole world is conspiring against your health, which is why there is Kaiser Permanente. We can be a partner. We can be a friend, a voice of moderation in a world gone excess and insane. So the next time you're faced with the choice between a televised marathon of vapid vixens or the chance to get a little fresh air, visit everybodywalk.org and we'll be there to help you thrive. Hi, this is JC Thomas and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready. At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability, we've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part, too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit.

22:53and know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, visit sdge.com slash safety. The Padres' schedule is winding down, but the baseball season continues with exciting playoff action. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show is your source for expanded pennant race coverage and the best Chargers reporting anywhere in San Diego. And, of course, we've set up camp at Montezuma Mesa for exciting Aztecs action all season long. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 beginning in October on Channel 4 San Diego. Baseball action continues exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego as the Padres are on the road live from Colorado, 515 Monday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres' uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show.

23:55But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4, San Diego. Monthly payment calculation assumes 5% down at 7% APR over 30 years. This is an important announcement to anybody paying rent. Are you completely out of your minds? You're just throwing your money away. Because you may be able to own your own home for less than you're paying in rent. Don't believe it? Then check it out for yourself. Call Hot Props for a free list of hot foreclosure deals. 1-800-400-5302. Like a beautiful three-bedroom, two-bath for only $35,000. That's a monthly mortgage of only $225. Plus, Hot Props is offering a home rebate of up to $1,000 in cash. And if you call right now, you can find out how to get up to an extra $2,500 on top of that. Look, if you're stuck paying somebody else rent every month, that's... That's money you should be putting into your own home. So call Hot Props now to learn how you can get your free foreclosure list. 1-800-400-5302. That's 1-800-400-5302. 1-800-400-5302. Oktoberfest is a celebration of the harvest. It turns into one of the biggest celebrations of the year as millions flock to Munich.

25:09Since Munich is halfway around the world, join FM 94.9 and Beck's Beer at Rocktoberfest. October 22nd, 30th in University in North Park. Celebrate your harvest, or new job, or oil change. Check out live music from Everest, the soft path, the style tone, and more. Fill up on all kinds of German food and wash it down with a German beer. Like Beck's Oktoberfest, a classic German beer that's amber in color with hints of caramel and toasted nut. It's only available from now through October. There's hundreds of Oktoberfests, but only one Rocktoberfest. So join the party October 22nd in North Park and celebrate every day with Beck's Oktoberfest. Available for a limited time. For Rocktoberfest tickets or details, go to fm949sd.com. I want to be a pilot. Is it tough? It's not easy. You could do it. Study hard, go to a good school, never skip your math homework. Piece of cake. Oh, yeah? But can you finish those carrots for your pilot's vision? I'd rather do my math homework. Thought so.

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27:28until around 10 a.m. this morning. 15 southbound before Mira Mesa Boulevard, there's crates all over the fast lane. And the drive on the 125 northbound before the 8, there's a delay there because there's an accident over on that right shoulder. This report brought to you by Burger King. At Burger King, try a delicious croissant, which paired with Seattle's best coffee. Enjoy a flaky croissant, perfectly cooked eggs, American cheese, and your choice of sausage, bacon, or ham at participating restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. Prize today for Word of the Day. Word is membership. So when you hear me say membership between now and 10... We want you to be Caller 9. And get a pair of tickets to Bush and Filter and Chevelle. And also we'll throw in lunch too at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. So it's a good prize. 7.30, I'm going to tell you what I did this morning that was really, really, really bad. And embarrassing. Amazing. And brilliant. Can't wait for Jay's reaction. It's pretty gnarly. Okay, so what school was the mumps being spread at?

29:08It was a Poway Elementary School, and it's Highland Ranch Elementary. Nine-year-old kid went there for four days while he had the mumps. Are you thick? Now, here's the deal. Kids have since gone back to school. They say that it's no longer contagious. But they're warning parents that, hey, be looking out for the symptoms that come with it. It's a viral thing, okay? And so it has to run its course. And it's spread through coughing, sneezing. Perfect. Close contact with somebody that has it. And here's what it looks like. So you know to be looking for the symptoms. Fever, headache, earache, and inflammation of salivary glands. What? I think I have them up. Yeah. Well, Woods has got whatever it is that Jay had. Is that AIDS he brought in here? Maybe don't touch my stuff. I didn't touch your stuff. Oh, really? Had that.

30:07Tussin get in my waffle. Oh, that is true. Fair enough. That is true. I sanitize after, though. Woodsy, I've never known you to be sick. One day... Oh, wait a minute. Shouldn't open my mouth. That's right. You were a superstar. You could never get sick. I don't call in sick. I didn't call in sick either. I'm not saying you did. But my old immune system, you kept saying that. Well, you're 70 years old, so mine was from you. You never get sick, though. You're some kind of hero. That's true. Come on now. He usually doesn't. I usually don't. You don't. I take way less better care of myself than you do. Way less better care. Yeah. Does that make sense? Not really, but it's all right. It wasn't the best way to say it. I don't feel good. You don't. Easy English magic. Way less better. Woods didn't feel good on Friday. Still did his gig Friday night and I thought he killed it. Thank you. Show must go on. I was chugging honey on stage. I had a honey bear on stage with me and I was going... Were you really? Because my throat hurt so bad. Did it work? I thought you sounded great.

31:17You don't put whiskey in the honey bear. You have to put honey. I did honey in the honey bear. It was a honey bear full of Jack Daniels. McClure's. If you saw Woodsy and you want to call, 570-1949. I have some audio, but I didn't want to send it to you because I don't like to hear myself sing. Well, I can download it off my phone. You don't have to. Not well. I did some video. You did. I shot video of you singing. I just have to download it. It was a fun night. Yeah, it did. Well, the funny part was is that I played for a little bit and then Ryan played for a little bit. Ryan looked at me and he goes, I'm done. And I looked at my watch and I go, dude, it's only eight. We got another hour. So we had to improvise like stuff we weren't planning on playing for a whole nother hour. I was happy because I missed the first hour. But we, I mean, I looked at him. I was like, what do you got now? He's like, I don't do that one that you did with the thing. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. All right. We're going to do this one now. And we would just play and just.

32:22It was crazy. So we'll have a little bit better plan next time. I could tell his big finish was probably supposed to be Hallelujah, right? Yes. He got almost a standing ovation for that. It was incredible. When he hit the high note. Oh, wow. And then I was like, oh, my gosh, he must be nearing the end. No, there's another hour. Oh, yeah, another hour. I'm sure he thought it was like, okay, that's my big finish. Oh, my gosh. I looked at him. I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm done. I played like 17 songs. I go, we got a whole hour. Yeah. So he just made stuff up. Yeah, we didn't. Well, we. We played stuff that we had no intention of playing. You guys did great together. At all. But we had a blast. He's probably used to the more rowdy Texas crowd that kind of interrupts the flow of songs a little bit. That's probably true. He did great. You did great. It was fun. He is Ryan Honeycutt. Yep. And that's Woods' brother-in-law. And we were at the Bootlegger, which is a great place. Great place. Really, really liked that place, man. Food was good. How comfortable is it in there? Comfortable, cool place. Really comfortable. The black-eyed peas, the actual black-eyed peas, not the group. Right. Yes, the food. Yes. It was good. But anyway, yeah, I'll try to figure out how to, in fact, I'll give it to Crawl. Let's Crawl. Chris, you can probably do a better job of downloading this off of my camera, the video, and putting some video up because people were asking for it. For whatever reason, when I hook it up to my computer, it doesn't show up, but only the pictures do.

33:48If you have time, can you? L.O.B. ran into the most horrific traffic in the world. You missed the first part of his set. I did. I was upset because we walked in. It was just like a string of bad luck. We decided right at the split of the 5 and the 805. I had my friend Meryl with me. I was like, what should we do? 5, 805, 5, 805. And we were like, let's do 805. And there was an overturned vehicle. Oh, boy. And so it took us, like, almost an hour and a half to get there. They had four parking garages, too. Four parking garages. Why? First one we went to was about two blocks away. And at this point, I was like, because we were already running late, I was like, money is no object. I'll just park in the closest one. It was completely filled, I guess. Padre game. There's other stuff going on. Yep. Second one we go to, cash only. We were $3 short. Oh, my gosh. Third one we went to, I put my machine in the card. Your credit card. Yep, that's what I meant. My card in the machine. It goes, turns off because it's supposed to print out a voucher. Of course. So it turns off and I'm like, I must have done that wrong. So I do it again.

34:57Same thing happens. Of course, I write down the number of the machine because I was like, they just charged me twice. We need to get back in my car, drive around to the next place, and we were on the top of the parking garage. You don't need that. Oh, it was bad. So we sprint up to the gig, and I see Woods outside, and I just about collapsed because I was like, are you done? He's like, yeah, I just finished up. I'm like, oh. We have plenty of time, though. I knew you were going on at 6. And I was practically pulling Rebecca. And it was 6.03. And I was like stressed out. Come on, babe. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. And when I saw that Woods hadn't gone on yet, I was like, oh, gosh. But it was great. It was fun, man. I had a blast. That was really fun. Did a good job. 570-1949 is our number. And you can give us a call, especially if you were there and you hung out and you had a good time. We want to talk to you. And we'll be telling you about somebody that I'm going to call Joe Thompson. I'll just call him Joe Thompson. That's not his real name. But what I did, what I did, by the way, that is embarrassing. I'm going to take a step out on a limb and say that.

36:24I wager that it's never been done. I wager that this particular thing has never been done. It's very specific. It's very particular. Very specific. I promise you it has never been done to him. No. I promise you that. So you're telling me, Woods. No, you're right. You are right. No, I think you do. You believe not in this world that we live in, perhaps. No, I think you set a world record, a world first today. Wow. A first. Yes. I would have to say, given all of the circumstances. How did I miss it? I wrote my wife and I said, you have to listen at 730 and you have to hear what I did. She will delight in this. Yes. As did I at about 523 this morning. I felt so terrible, like physically felt so terrible. When it happened, I laughed so hard that I cried. I hid my head. And then I hid under a blanket and said, if I stay here. This didn't happen. I will just tell you this because I want to give you a little morsel of what's to come. What happened was I thought that a person was somebody that they were not. Okay? But when I tell you who I thought the person was, you'll go, oh, no. You didn't. You didn't really, did you?

37:56That can't be possible. You didn't do that, did you, Mike? Come on, Mike. You don't always have to be making jokes. Surely this is just a funny joke. Oh, I wish that it were. Oh, I wish that it were. Yes. I wish that it were. And let me... They could do a whole... Oh, yeah. They could do a whole Dateline NBC on this epic fail. Well, what he thought was... Completely normal turned out to not be normal at all. In fact, Mike had made a fool of himself before, but never to this extent. Now, you may say to yourself, oh, it could happen to anyone, couldn't it? Well, the truth of the matter is, no. Not only could it not happen to anyone, we actually did a research project and discovered that, in fact, it had never happened in the history of mankind. Wow.

38:59What an understanding individual that person was. They've even agreed to come on the air. They've even agreed to come on the air, and they will tell you in their own words what it is that I did. Let's see. This is M1HB from Scripps Ranch. What's up? I wanted to say, Woodsy, you did an amazing job. Thank you. We're great. Appreciate it. I had no idea that you guys didn't know what the heck you were doing that last hour. Yeah, no clue. No plan on that one. So rad. I want to tell Lauren it was great talking to you in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. I know. That was like a true, where'd the girls go? Were you guys pooing or something? No, we were just out gabbing. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. No, we came out. It was myself, my friend Meryl, M1HB, and M1Lizzy. And when we came out, M1Lizzy's boyfriend was like, I thought you left. Where did you guys go? Just gabbing in the bathroom. I know this sounds strange.

39:59They were nice bathrooms. Yeah. They were real nice. Very nice. Dude, I'm not kidding. They were like hip and cool. And homing. The bathroom was hip, cool, and if I had like a chair, I'd have watched TV in there. What if you put a couch in there? I would have thrown my feet up. I went in their bathroom and I was like, I wish that my man cave looked like this. Right. We had no problem hanging out in there. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Well, thank you, HB. Good to see you. 570-194-9. Let's play Name That Tune. 570-194-9. And the way that you play it is you pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. What's the theme? The theme is animal. Songs about animals. Okay, cool. Songs about animals. Title or artist? Title or artist. Title or artist will win. Now we're going to use our buzzers. Correct? Oh, yeah. Is that correct? I forgot about the buzzers. Is that correct, James? Yeah. I don't know where my other is. There we go. All right. So we're going to use our buzzers, but they're only a backup. So we'll actually say our name. No. We changed. No, that's right. No, sorry. Apologize. It's okay. All right. Now let's get people to call in. Pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. Again, the theme is animals.

41:26It could be anything about animals. And title or artist will win it. And we're playing for the all-new Green Lantern Rise of the Manhunters video game for the Nintendo. Thank you. That was so clean. That was so clean. Thank you. Thank you. It was so perfect. It was so isolated. Isolate. Isolate. We only have 20 of those. Oh, we don't have that one, though. We don't have enough. That one is perfection. Jay will occasionally mess a word up. And that was a good example. M1, Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? I'm going to go with Hollywood on this one. Hollywood! Hollywood! Hang on a line. Bottom of the rung today. Not feeling too good. Let's see what we can do. M1, Lisa from Lakeside. Who do you want? I want you, Mikey. All right. Hang on. Jay! Jay making a comment about the size of... L.O.B.'s derriere. I was already self-deprecating myself. M1 Dave from San Diego. You got L.O.B. Hang on the line, okay? All right. Hang on. All right. Theme is animals. Let's do this. Here we go. Woods. No idea. Oh, who are you in the blowfish? Yeah. Hold on. Go ahead, L.O.B. Lauren, Dave Matthews. What's wrong with you?

42:57Jay, don't forget to say our name. Okay. All right, cool. Here we go. Woods. America. Even sick. Gosh. The guy's good. Creep. Even sick. He's able to pull this off. I didn't touch it. I promise I didn't touch it. I swear I didn't touch it. I promise. Here we go. All right. Bill Shatner. Yeah. Sounds just like him. What's wrong with you? Lauren. Bird on a wire. Yeah. Yes. Who was it? I don't know. Leonard Cohen. Oh, come on. He said, look at this. I'm in water. Here we go. This one's tough. Woods. Toby Keith. Said with certainty. Yeah. It's called beer for my horses. Exactly. Woods claims to dislike that type of.

44:13He knows it all. Because it's that bad. That's maybe the worst song in the entire world. That's number one. It's so bad that you know it. Right. We did a whole segment on those. Remember all those songs we all hate that we're like, we know every word, money for nothing. What station do you even hear that on? Well, I'm from Texas, so they used to play it on everything. You used to listen to the country stations? No, but I would hear it in the background. In the background and be like, gosh, that's freaking bad. Featuring Willie Nelson. He's got the Texas card. Let's try and play the Texas card on that one. All right. Here we go. Woods. Led Zeppelin. Darn it. Whoa. I thought that was a girl. At first, I did. Play again. It sounds like a girl. Let's start it from the beginning. Yeah. Great job. Woods is killing it. Well, I'm still winning for the record. You are? By one. He just took a lot of guesses, wrong guesses. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Here we go. L-O-B. Beastie Boys. Yes. All right. Reset us. Here we go. Woods. No idea. Yes. Chris Rose. That's my new strategy. I'm doing the Mikey strategy. Damn it. Here we go. Damn it. Cat Scratch Fever. That's the Nuge. Was it Ted Nugent actually singing it too? Yeah, absolutely. Wow. Singing it live. Basically speaking German. Wow. Oh my gosh. All right. Come on, Woods. Come on, Woods. Here we go. Woods. Rage Against the Machines. Dang it. This is right.

46:25Right now, it's Mikey one, Woods one, LLB three. Yeah. Here we go. I did. Mikey. Disco Duck. I knew his duck. I heard quacking. Really? It's Rick D's song. It's Rick D's big hit that he recorded himself, Disco Duck. Wow. That was a monster. That was a tough one. Here we go. Damn it. Lauren. Beatles. Woo! Gosh darn it. All right, what's the score? Woods. One, Mikey, two, L.O.B., four. So these next two have got to be two-pointers. There you go. Of course. Here we go. Perfect. Pull it. Reset. Damn it, Jay. Woods. It's house and chains. Rooster. Here we go. Here we go. Hold on. Stop. Hit it. Reset it. Reset it. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. You should lose points next time you do that. Shut up. Shut up. Here we go. L.O.B.

48:29Dog will hunting. Dog will hunting. She's got to deduct two points. I have a guess. No guesses. Well, if you want to take a guess. Can I guess? Yes. This is a game. What is it? Primus. Jerry was a race car driver. Dog will hunt. Dog will hunt is what I heard, and I hit the buzzer like a freak. Wait, what is it called? Jerry was a race car driver. That's right. That's right. Didn't we play that at the old station? Yeah. I thought it was called something else. Okay. That's it. Actually, we have one more. We have one more. Oh, boy. What's the score? Mikey, two. Woods, three. Lauren, two. There's a nine-pointer. It's a two-pointer. Here we go. This is it. Son of a. L-O-B. Jackson, five.

50:00Good job, L.O.B. Holy cow. What a game. That was a long game. M1, Dave. M1, Dave. Yo. L.O.B. brought it home for you, pal. Listen, she was picked last and she brought it home. Yep. Thus proving you never know what's going to happen. Hang on the line, all right? Thank you. Things are going to get very interesting in a half an hour when I tell you what I did. Oh, boy. But also, also, when we come back. I'm going to play you out of Phoenix, Arizona, a piece of audio that will have us forever saying, isolate. There are so many isolate moments in this guy describing a car accident that he was in where everybody's fine. You've never heard anything like it. It's fantastic. And it's next. I always have to look my sexy. That's why I'm wearing these.

51:12Tight size 42. Part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot them at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. We've all seen how beautiful TV spokesmodels can sell just about anything in their high heels and slinky dresses, right? Well, Pacific Marine Credit Union hopes the same approach will work on radio. Okay, bring in the models. Can't wait. Wow. Wish you guys could see this. These models are almost as amazing as Pacific Marine's low auto loan rates. That's right, Howie. Pacific Marine Credit Union has an annual percentage rate as low as 2.5% for new, used, and refinanced vehicles. And Howie, that rate comes with a 72-month term.

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57:18Your football headquarters. Website at U31bar.com. It's brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. It does what no pill, no procedure can to keep you young. Play. Kaiser Permanente reminds you, make it part of your day. The truth is, the day you stop playing is the day you start aging. Learn more at kp.org slash thrive. Well, we've got a lot of stuff going on right now. On the 805 northbound at the 54, it's an accident. Two lanes are blocked. It's a CIG alert. The right two lanes are blocked with two cars. One is going the wrong way. There's glass all over the place, and there's some guardrail damage. Chula Vista on the 805 northbound. Telegraph Canyon Road, an accident here. It's in the backup of that CIG alert. And you've got some backup here on the 15 northbound. Rancho Penasquitos Boulevard due to a tire and rim in the right lane. This report also brought to you by ExxonMobil. At Exxon and Mobile, they're so... Smart gasoline works at the molecular level, helps remove deposits so your car will run cleaner. Just one more way, they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized for days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9.

59:00I always thank Woodsy for this song. Never heard of it until he introduced me to it, and I love it. Fleetwood Mac. Blade to love her. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. Have you heard about the, you know those Google Maps cars? They have a little camera. They drive around the neighborhood, film the neighborhood, so that when you go to Google Maps, you can actually see, you know, the actual neighborhood, like from a street view. They were out doing this, and have you guys heard about the fully nude woman? Chris is shaking his head yes. No, you don't. It was a, oh, really? No. It ain't good. This woman was standing in front of her house, and she was completely nude. Now, apparently this has happened before, but they usually pixelate the person's face. and they didn't pixelate this person's face for a long time until it was noticed. And according to Jay, not much to look at, but they did, in fact, catch a lady fully naked. Girl, how drunk is you? Must have been pretty drunk. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, if you missed it earlier, the Chargers did lose yesterday to the Patriots, 35-21. Phillip Rivers had a...

1:00:17Decent day, 29-40 for 378 and two touchdowns, but also had two interceptions and lost a fumble. In the NFL, too, there were some pretty good games around, and I'll tell you about them later, all the scores. I'm going to run down those later. But the big one was the Bills and the Raiders. There were 35 points in the fourth quarter alone, dude. 38-35, the Bills beat the Raiders. Also, the Chiefs lost and the Niners lost. So it was not a great day for the AFC West, that's for sure. So, yeah, you know, Woodsy and I were talking about this Reno air crash because they've been showing it. And it happened on Friday. Really, really terrible thing, man. Nine people, including the pilot, were killed. He was flying one of these World War II-era planes. And it just was doing their qualifying heat just came crashing down into box seats at this air show. The people that have box seats just, I mean, and they show it. It just, it's moving. It's going so fast, man. And just crash lands. It's one of those things where I wonder too, is it why we go to air shows? Do we, do we?

1:01:42I think that we go to air shows because of the danger element. A lot of people will go to NASCAR races because they like seeing the crashes. They're exciting. But you certainly don't think this kind of stuff is going to happen. I mean, this was as bad as it gets. And just terrible, terrible stuff. It's the headline on all the newspapers and also one of the big things that they're talking about today on all the big... You know, like the Today Show, Good Morning America, all those shows. But just a really, really bad crash. The pilot was 80. Oh, my gosh. 10 years old. Oh, my. Stunt flying guy. Been doing it, obviously, for a long time. But, you know, they're still trying to identify people, obviously, because of how bad it was. But I'm not an air show guy. Never have been. It's something that's never really. I've never really been interested in. Cars, yeah, but airplanes? It's kind of cool, but it's just too long of a day here. It's hot and it's muggy and things are crashing all around you. All right, now, this, what I'm going to tell you, what I'm going to play for you, will be forever isolated. The audio you're about to hear will be a part of the Mikey Show for years to come. And the reason is because this guy, George Lindell, or excuse me, George Lindell,

1:03:05got into a car accident and very vividly recalled exactly what happened. This is the news reporters. So you heard John and I describe what happened during the accident, but maybe we haven't given this story justice. Not compared to what you're about to hear. To better understand what happened, let's listen in to George Lindell. He was driving one of the cars involved in the collision that brought down those power poles. He tells the story in a way that no one else can. I was just minding my own business. Bam! Hit me hard right from the back. I was glued to my seat. I was like, I could see the car in front of me. I was about to hit him. So I kind of veered off this way. And as I veered off this way, the guy who hit me veered off the other way. And he hit the curb, flipped over, rolled over, running the electrical pole. And I didn't know he hit the pole. All of a sudden, I kind of stopped. I was like, whoa. And the wires come down. Boom! And then arc, arc, bam! That fire was coming everywhere. Arking, sparking, blowing up. I saw one arc go from the corner of my van up to the car behind me. It was like a big rainbow. Boom! It was coming up. Boom! Boom! Everybody was like, jeez! So I opened up my door. I didn't touch no metal. And as I come up, I started to touch the top. And a little spark jumped up. I said, whoa! And I stepped out the rest of the way. Lucky I didn't get burned more. Oh, it was crazy, dude. I was just sitting there, and I was like, oh! Reality hits you hard, bro.

1:04:37That is poetic. Reality hits you hard, bro. I felt like... Reality hits you hard, bro. Holy crap. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's outstanding. The video goes along with it. You got to see the video, too. It's a stream of consciousness. Oh, yeah. It's just like... Say what's on your mind. Mm-hmm. And I like his... I also like his sound effects. Oh, yeah. Yeah, incredible. You know who I think would most appreciate is a child. I think more than anybody, that was almost like having a story read to you. Yeah, they would get it. They would understand it. They would enjoy it. That guy may have a future in storytelling. Do you know what the literary term for that is, Mike? What is it? It's called onomatopoeia. Onomatopoeia. And I'm not kidding. It's pretty awesome. Hit me hard. Reality hits you hard, bro. I love it. I love it. It's fantastic. All right. It is time for a game that has been now recorded into the annals of time, or annals. Anals. Jay would say that. Yes. The annals. And it's called Mikey Morning Quarterback. Oh, God. You've got to call us right now, 570-1949, and pick L-O-B or Jay. I think L-O-B is...

1:05:59Undefeated. She's the best in this game I've ever seen. I'll tell you, this game, I like to sit back and just put my feet up and just watch and learn. It's NFL trivia. And LLB is undefeated. We go back and forth between Jay and LLB. You've got to pick either Jay or LLB. And we go back and forth. We ask them questions about the NFL. It's very simple. And Woodsy will keep track. And, you know, here's the thing. The questions are easy to quite easy. Are they? For anybody that's ever watched any bit of NFL. See, Woodsy, I'm going to challenge you there. I'm going to say even somebody that hasn't. Yeah, my missus could slay this game. I'm going to take it that far. I'm going to say even if you haven't. That's true. You guys are crazy. You guys are crazy. I will say this. As long as you live in the United States of America. That's fair enough. Most of these questions are doable. In fact, in a couple of these cases, it's 50-50. You've got a 50-50 chance of getting it. The problem is that sometimes reality hits you hard. Reality hits you hard, bro. It's tough. That is true. 5701949. M1 Drew is on the line from Escondido. Who do you want, Drew?

1:07:27You got it. And M1 Craig from San Diego, you've got Jay. Hang on, okay? We're playing for lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. There you go. Who started last time? Jay. All right. L-O-B, you'll start this time. Your question is, what color is the challenge flag? Red. Wow. Didn't even, didn't even, we should get in the fist bump from Woods and blew it up. Jay, would you have known that one? Absolutely. Oh, good one. Oh, yeah. I knew it wasn't yellow. That is true. All right, Jay. Yes. Name any player, current or former. I mean any player that plays or did play for the Carolina Panthers. Anyone in the world that has played or does play for the Carolina Panthers. T.O.

1:08:35Now, I want to let people know that when Jay said T.O., he looked at me like, okay, like, take that. Loser. He's played for every team, but. That's right. That's true. T.O. has practically played for every team except the Carolina Panthers. Sorry, Jay. Oh, man. That is incorrect. Number one draft pick, Cam Newton. Cam Newton. We only reported on it. A million times. That's right. He is doing good. But, you know, I mean, it literally could have been anyone. I mean, to give you an example, I would just have to name any player. Anybody. That's ever, ever played for them. What a brilliant question. L.O.B. Yes. Name any, any wide receiver, current or former, that is white. Any player, ever, in the history, even though they're currently. Or since the day that it all started? Jeremy Shockey? Or is he tight end? Woods, I don't know what to do. He has lined up as a slot. He has lined up in the slot. Listen, it's not his position. He is not a wide receiver. He's a tight end. He's lined up in the slot. And to be fair, he's not a wide receiver. Okay, he's a tight end. He's a tight end. That's okay a little bit. I mean, I think that you could almost make a case that any tight end,

1:10:11at one time or another, has lined up. Yeah. That's true. You know. That's true. So I... So more of a wide end, like L.O.B. Oh, my... How? How? How? I mean, he'll find a way. This is Jay for Jay's Pylon School of Comedy. You don't even know what he's got in that thing. He can think of something no matter what. I still can't think of one. The next question is, he's got a 50-50 chance. Jay? Yes. Do the Arizona Cardinals play on natural or artificial turf? Natural. U.S.O.B. Obviously. That is correct. U.S.O.B. Kind of a trick question. Yes. They do play in a dome. I know. I would have gotten it wrong. Yeah, but what they do is they wheel the field in and out. Retractable roof, too, right? Retractable roof, and they'll wheel the field out.

1:11:11and they'll grow the grass outside in the beautiful Arizona sunshine, and then they roll it back in. You know, how much do you think that tray weighs? Oh, my God. How much does that thing weigh? I didn't know they did that. Yeah, they do. It's pretty cool, yeah. Jay, yeah, they do. Yeah, I did that. It's 1-1, by the way. It's 1-1. 1-1. Here we go. This isn't fair, because I feel like I know she knows the answer to this, but I'm going in order. Got to go in order. Goes in order. L-O-B? Yes. Which team's fans wave the terrible towel? The Pittsburgh Steelers. Look at you. That is correct. Jay, I'm going in order. What are you going to do? I'm going in order. Jay. Yes. What is the first and last name of the owner of the San Diego Chargers? Last name is Spanos. First name, I'm going to say... It's probably wrong. AJ. That is incorrect. Dang it. Was I close? Yes. His first name starts with an A. Alfred. Alan. Armando. Alex Spanos. Alex. Not to be confused with Jesse Spanos. Right. Saved by the bell. Saved by the bell. Correct. I hope his middle name isn't Jeffrey, because then technically... It would be AJ. It is. It would be AJ. You're thinking of their general manager. Oh. AJ Smith. AJ Smith. Dang it.

1:12:49L.O.B. Yes. Last question. Okay. Name any current or former head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Jimmy Johnson. There you go. That is correct. That's a runaway. There she knows, Johnson. Again, he finds a way. He gives me no credit. Super subtle. You don't even know. Super subtle. Did you hear that? Johnson, Mike. Johnson. Mike, can you get it? It's code from Wiener, Mike. You didn't know that. Johnson's a wiener. Get it? Michael. L.O.B. continues her domination. Her reign. Yet I remain very humble. You do. I don't talk about Jay's wiener. Yeah. Don't you? Or lack thereof. Don't you? Not during the game. Maybe off the air and maybe during times that we're not playing the game, she does mention that Woods reported on it. He was literally a field reporter. Yeah.

1:13:53Literally. Eyewitness. A greens reporter. Yeah, it was on a golf course. On a fairway. On a fairway. On a fairway reporter. Meat looker. That's definitely a saying. Yeah, that old hacky. Meat looker. You know what? He's a meat looker. He's a meat looker. A meat looker, see? Didn't you see that movie, The Meat Looker? About that guy with the bombs? I mean the Hurt Looker. Wait. It was a Hurt Looker. The Hurt Me. The Hurt Locker. What was it called? The Meat Looker. Are you thinking of a Meat Locker? No, a Meat Looker. No. He had the bombs. And LLB, I know him right. It was the Meat Looker. Meet the Meat Looker. Jeremy Renner. Renner. Renner was in it. Jeremy Wiener. Jeremy Wiener. Get it? That's right. Let's see. Meat Looker. I got a text for you. 570. If you would like to respond. Mikey, my girlfriend posts an angry status on Facebook every time we get in a fight. Women ever just immature. Now, I got this text last week. We did it late in the show. And I wanted to get people's input on this. Does your woman do that? Do you do that? I actually saw a guy do it this morning. Did you? I've never seen a guy do it. But I saw a guy this morning.

1:15:19Post the random anger text or anger update. I have a friend that will, he's a man, will change his relationship status to it's complicated when he's in a fight. Oh, God. And it's a guy. Maybe we have this wrong. Maybe it's guys that do it more than we think that they do. It's women more than men, I think. But I've done it one time. Do you remember? I don't remember. I did it with my wife, though. Oh, I found it. It's M1 Samuel. And six hours ago, which would have been 1.20 in the morning, he wrote, he wrote, that pisses me off so much, exclamation point. That's all he wrote. She probably hung up on him. She probably didn't answer. They were out. They got drunk. Yes. He was trying to get her to come home, you know, and just settle her down. And she left. And he did not want her to drive. And she turned her phone off. Oh. So he decided to Facebook stay. That she would see. Yeah. Because if he can't talk to her.

1:16:31Then she's going to read my status update. Yeah, they went to watch the Chargers and had, you know, Sunday fun day. And had some mimosas. Right. Which turned into tequila shots. It did. Which turned into, you know, Boilermakers. Which turned into, hey, let's go have a bite to eat. Right. Which turned into more drinking at the bite to eat. Right. And then her just crying. I was doing it. Right. And then him going, where is she? Where is she at home? Has anyone seen Stacey? Do you have a taxi cab number? Where the hell is Stacey? I don't know what's in the game. She, she, oh, nice DD. Huh. Guess that's out of the window. She probably pretended to use the bathroom but really took a cab home. True. Wow. Do you know anybody that does the immature Facebook status texts? Facebook status updates. 570-1949. Did you do it? Are you with someone that does it? When I see it, it makes me nervous. And I have to do some investigating. I've seen the ones that are like, I just don't know how much longer.

1:17:41I can do this. And you're like, what the hell did that guy do? You shut it down. If I'm in a relationship or something's going on, there's no way you can do that. You have to keep it personal and not on the Facebook or email. I don't even like to talk to friends about it. Because that's just going behind your back. The effect that it has on me is shark eyes. I roll my eyes back. until all you can see is white when I read it. I go, oh, boy. They don't communicate. They indirectly communicate with Facebook. Yeah. Why don't you just say it? Don't spray it. 570-1949 is our number. Mikey, show who's this? Hey, this is M1 Gordon Bombay. What's up? Not too much. Actually, I didn't have a good story for you, but I wanted to let you know there's actually a term for it. It's called vague booking. Vague booking. Oh, I love it. Nice. Vague booker. Vague booking. I love that. I'm using that today. Yeah. So if you see it now, your response is ever just vague book real good? Thank you, dude. I love that. That's brilliant. 570-1949. I love when I learn new stuff. Me too. And that's a good one. That's really good. That is good. Have you ever done it, LOB? Vague book? No. I did it back in the days of the instant messenger with away messages and then the quotes in my profile.

1:19:01Yeah, that's very specific. Only the people that instant message you are going to see it. With Facebook, everybody sees it. The it's complicated status change really freaks me out to no end. When I see that, I will go in and look and figure it out. It shouldn't be there. No, it shouldn't. It shouldn't. If you're not old enough to know whether or not you're in a relationship or not, you probably shouldn't be old enough to use Facebook. L-O-B. Lauren O'Brien is in a relationship and it's complicated. She makes such a brilliant point. Like if you're going to use it's complicated, you shouldn't be on Facebook. You're not old enough. Is that code for we're on a break and I can slay you if you want? I think it's code for we can't stand each other, but we love each other. Right. Very deeply. And one of us has a drinking problem and it's me and it's complicated. It's complicated. 570-1949. M1 Cold Cuts is on the line. Are you there, Cold Cuts? Yeah, hey. Go ahead. I take it to an extreme with my boyfriend. I won't go on my Facebook and post the status, but I will go on his. What do you mean? Like, I'll just go on and be like, hey, like, I'm a huge jerk to my girlfriend. Oh, my God. That's pretty funny. That is funny. It's a good bit. It's funny. It's weird. It's awesome. It's funny. It's weird. It's a little crazy.

1:20:30I think it's hilarious, and they give him a ton of crap for it. Are you serious when you do it? Yes. Is he really being a jerk? Yeah. He's straight up being a jerk. Does it make him more mad, or does he laugh when he sees it? I think a little of both. Yeah. Mostly mad. I would laugh. I'd laugh my butt off. How do I get creative with my anger? Yeah, that is very creative. Thank you, M1 Cold Cuts. M1 Miguel, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What do you do? On Twitter. It's called subtweeting, subliminal tweeting. Subliminal tweeting. Learning all this stuff. I know. You've got to write them down. Vague booking and subtweeting. So you'll put the vague, you're angry thing on Twitter. You won't say their name. You'll just refer to them in the subliminal way. That's it. What would happen if one of us changed our Facebook status to it's complicated? What if you did? I wanted to a few weeks ago. We were in a standoff, my boyfriend and I. And we weren't speaking to each other. So I thought, maybe this will get his attention. But I didn't do it because I'm a 30-year-old woman. But I thought, while it was there, maybe you realized it. Maybe this would get his attention. What if you saw your wife or girlfriend do it and you didn't know? You didn't know that... I wouldn't know.

1:21:59Yeah, Rebecca just changed it. You're like, what the hell? See, you guys always will say, hey, I saw those pictures that Rebecca put, and I'm like, what pictures? Because I don't get her coming up in my news feed. Right. So I don't know. Jay and I creep on her page a lot. You look so good. And we'll see it. Oh, gosh, that was weird. Must be some misunderstanding. Must be, must be. When we come back, I'm going to tell you. what I did this morning. Yes! That I've been saying you gotta listen at 7.30 and I'll tell you what I did. It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. Brace yourself. Yes. That says a lot. Yes, Jay. It sure does. Must be some misunderstanding.

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1:31:045 northbound Rosecrans Avenue. Bridge appears to be smoldering, but they do have the bridge supervisor there. Vista on the 78 westbound ramp to Sycamore Avenue. An accident on the right shoulder. And it looks like Escondido. You got a backup here on the 78 eastbound. Pretty slow from Nordall to the 15. This report also brought to you by Saquon Casino. Saquon Casino's $27 million makeover is complete. New game day sports bar and grill. New surf and turf buffet. Casino reimagined. Visit this weekend for the reopening celebration. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Surf this morning with the lower tide looking pretty weak and somewhat bleak, running in that knee-to-waist-high zone at best. Most spots even a little bit smaller than that. Reef breaks pretty much shut down, just not a lot of activity there. Some of the beach breaks there is looking a bit better and more rideable by the structured areas. It's kind of walled up. It does have a little bit of a texture on it from some morning winds this morning, like northwesters out there, as well as cloudy skies and some fog pockets. So really not one of the most...

1:32:32inviting warnings, but if you need to surf, there is something to ride. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for all your surfboard repair restoration needs, go see Joe Roper. The authentic surf report can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I've never been so happy. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be. Woods. That's why I don't eat that funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Cox. Isn't it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad. On FM 94.9. All right, so we're going to get right to this. I said that we were going to tell you what I did.

1:33:58And I don't think it's ever been done ever. I think that this is a historic thing because I don't believe that it's ever been done. But first, I got to give you a little background. Now, I go on during the week and I on my Facebook and Facebook gives you birthdays. And so I will go and I will wish a happy birthday to the people who are celebrating birthday today. It's a nice thing to do. Yes. Now, I came across a old co-worker. Now, for some background on the co-worker, this co-worker's name, I'm going to say, is Joe. Okay? Joe Thompson. I used to work with Joe Thompson. Now, we had a meeting one day. It was an all-staff meeting that we all had to come to. And we were all thinking, oh, gosh, what's happening today? Are we going to get fired from the radio station? This was years ago. We came into this meeting, and we found out that my co-worker, Joe, was on vacation, and that when Joe came back, he was no longer going to be a he.

1:35:26He was going to be a she and that Joe would no longer be Joe. He would be Joanne and that Joanne would be using the restrooms of the female restrooms now. Whoa. And yeah, that, you know, there's having a sex change. Gender reassignment. Gender reassignment. That is the PC way of saying sex change. Don't say sex change. Yeah, not a lot. Now. It was a big deal because this person was very well known on the radio and, you know, became a woman and continued to be on the radio only now as a woman. And because of the hormones, sounded like a woman. Sounded like a woman, but still had that deep undertone. So it was sort of like this. It really was.

1:36:28Now, this morning, I see Joe Thompson, my old friend, is no longer Joanne and is back to Joe Thompson. And I immediately think to myself, oh my goodness, this is pretty crazy because that was a big deal. How long ago? How many years? Twelve. Okay. 12. Okay. 12 years ago. And so I see that now Joe is engaged. And to make matters even more confusing, he is engaged to someone named Anthony. That's a true story. With an I. Whoa. Anthony with an I. And so I wrote.

1:37:41Joe. Of course you did. Yeah. Now, we have Joe on the line. Now, his name's not Joe, but I'm calling him Joe because I don't want him to get flooded with messages from clowns. But are you there, Joe? Yeah, I'm here, Mikey. Okay. Now, Joe, if you would, please read the email that I wrote to you. Joe, it's Mikey from back in the San Jose days. I hope you are doing really great. I saw your birthday come up today, and I was surprised to see that you were back to being Joe. If it's too personal, I understand, but what happened? Did you never go through with the reassignment surgery? Your profile says that you're engaged to a man, I assume, because his name is Anthony, which leads me to believe that you discovered you were gay. I have a really close friend in the LGBT world, and she has helped educate me to a really great degree.

1:38:42but it helps to ask questions. Mikey. Now, he wrote me back, and I'll read to you the response. Now, understand, I came in to work, and nobody's in the room except for L.O.B., okay? And I go, L.O.B., do you remember the person that I told you about that I used to work with named Joe? And she says, No, refresh my memory. I said, well, used to be a guy, became a woman. And she goes, oh, yeah, I remember. I said, well, he's back to being a guy. And she goes, what? How do you know? And I said, because this morning, Joe Thompson came up on my feed as having a birthday today. And I looked, and sure enough, it's a guy. And to make matters even more confusing, I think that now he's gay because he's engaged to someone named Anthony. And so she goes, no, really? And by now, Woods has come in. And I say, yeah. And I read them the message that I sent. Now, as I'm talking to them, I get a message back. And here's what the message says from Joe.

1:40:17Love you, man. But I'm not the guy from San Jose. I met you at Generation Church in Oceanside. And I'm engaged to Anthony, but she has always been a girl. Mistakes happen. We are laughing right now. So thanks for the birthday wishes. And when I'm back in San Diego, we'll hook up and have a laugh together. Love and blessings, Frank. Joe. Oh, Joe. Oh. Damn it. I hit the button. I hit the button. I hit the button. Joe. I hit the button. Love and blessings, Joe. Oh, my God. And I am reading that message. As I'm reading it, my jaw drops open. He said, oh! Oh! And I was like, and I got up out of my seat, and I had my hands on top of my head.

1:41:19And I'm walking around and I'm going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What are the odds? What are the odds that not only is his name Joe Thompson, first and last name, but that he happens to be engaged to a woman. Named Anthony. Yes. And you said that they look very similar. They look similar to what he looked like before he became a woman. Right, when he was a man. Yes. I can see where you might be confused. This poor guy wakes up to that. Yes. That's his birthday message. From Mikey, who he met. Probably very, you know, respects a lot and for what you've done. He's like, oh, Mikey sent me a message. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh, wow. Wait. Woods goes. Woods goes, you're too inquisitive. You're too inquisitive. You're too inquisitive. You're too inquisitive. You're too inquisitive. And I'm like, I said, I said to them, I go, you know, I am convinced that what I should do is never communicate with a human being. It's a good call. It's a good call. Ever again. On the radio's fine. Outside, anything else outside of, in front of that mic? I should never communicate with a human. Get approval. Because I genuinely was like,

1:42:46Well, what happened? What happened? We were all thinking that after you told us the story. Yeah. I'm thinking to myself, but Joe really wanted to do this. Right. And now is back. Right. He's not Joanne anymore. He's Joe again. Wiener time. So now, Joe, the question, what did you think? And what was going through your mind when you saw that message from me? Well, the first thing I thought about was, was this a message or did he post this on my wall? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And it was a message. It was not posted on the wall. It was a message. It was a message. Oh. But then I'm like, oh, gosh, should I just delete this and I'll never tell anybody? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And then. By that point in time, I started laughing about it. I shared it with Anthony, and we were both laughing about it. I decided I should write back. And it turns out, Anthony, I don't know who Anthony is. I haven't seen. I don't know anything. But all I know is, what are the odds? You know, I mean, listen. If you were engaged to somebody named Lisa, I don't know that I'm...

1:44:17Well, no, I still... You're still writing. I'm still writing. Oh, it looks like you're back to, you know, what we knew you as before. Right. But this guy wakes up, it's his birthday, and then he gets called a transgender, and then you call his girlfriend a man. Into question. Into question. Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding, Joe. No problem. It made our day. And... I am apparently too inquisitive. Typical Mikey. Oh, man. Truth of the matter, typical Mikey. Typical Mikey. You could have written and said, is this so-and-so from San Jose? Yeah, I could have just written and said, hey, is this Joe from San Jose? Before going into, hey, I'm guessing...

1:45:11The vagina didn't work out. Back to the penis. How many times have you said that? Wow. My goodness. Mikey. Quite a scenario. And then it was someone that I'd actually met at church and that I'd spoken to. And I saw Joe's picture. He's one of the more manly mans. out there. There's no question. There's nothing feminine about him. So was the Joe that I was thinking of. I know. So he's probably like, what the hell? Dude, yeah, he's probably like, dude, I don't look like a girl. He doesn't. I'm engaged to a woman. I don't like men. Just because their name's Anthony. Oh my gosh. Wow. Well... But that won't happen again. Yeah. Well, Joe, thank you. Happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Oh, thanks. And, you know, I'm sorry about the mix-up. Joe. No problem. All right. You're a good sport. You are a good sport. Thank you, man. I won't forget this birthday. Oh, dude. Oh, yeah. For sure. Listen, this, and I'm not kidding. This is officially.

1:46:29the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. It's the most embarrassed I've ever been. You win. I'm glad I was a part of it. Thank you. Thank you, Joe. God bless you, man. Joe and Anthony just drinking coffee. Just looking at his Facebook. Checking his messages. What are the odds? Anthony. Anthony gets me. This is the trouble that Facebook gets us into. You see a name attached to who he's engaged to. And you're like, oh, man. I'm like, this plot thickens so much. So he's gay now? I must know. How? How? What? What's going on? Why must you know? And listen, I knew this guy good. I knew this guy well. And I knew that he would be, or she, would be the type of person. That would have no problem openly saying, well, here's what happened. And you were genuinely trying to understand more of the LGBT community. A hundred percent. Right. Because one of my friends who's in the LGBT community was bummed out because I wouldn't refer to Chaz Bono as a guy because I found out that Chaz Bono doesn't have guy parts. I'm not lesbian. I know that. I'm even kind of lesbian. I know that too.

1:47:55I'm not even kind of lesbian. Well, make up your mind. Well, you said the same thing, so I know that. I'm even kind of lesbian. That's kind of different. Wait, even kind of? I'm even kind of or not kind of? I'm not even kind of lesbian. At the time I caught it for sure, there was the word not in there. I'm even kind of lesbian. See, now I can't make heads or tails on it. Jay's editing skill. Joe and Anthony sitting in a tree. Sometimes Jay will... Just chop things a little too. Hit me hard. What's that? There's a D in there. I'm talking about you. There's a D in that room. Hit me hard. Hard. He says it. That is tight. He could have said heartily. He could have said heartily. Hardened. He comes right back with something afterwards. Hit me hard. Well, maybe you can explain that each time we play the clip. Bam! Hit me hard. Note.

1:49:07He does go on to say something after that. It sounds like he says hard. Hit me hard. He does go on to say something after that. Hit me hard. He has a short fuse. Yeah, he does. He's on one. Very short. And it's only going to get worse because imagations. Oh, yes. Thank you. Well, I made you sound a little special, too. Oh, no. Oh, no. Sure. What is it? Go for it. Oh, no. I wrote him a song. He wrote me a song. He told me it might hurt. Mikey's butt's wide. It is never right. Oh, wow. If he shows his face, it'll make you cry. Oh, wow. I'm telling you. Subtle. Personal. Just how I feel. It blows my mind. Limited sex appears. Oh, wow. Come on. You got to help your wife. Mikey, come on. You got to make it right. Oh, wow. She's giving you.

1:50:12To the count of three, to change that poop, she'll set you free. I'm telling you to watch your mouth. I know your games, eating is what it's all about. When they say you've reached Slade's limit, it has to be the truth. My friend, you're super lazy, you're eating lunch for two because Crap Dad, Crap Dad, come on. You know Crap Dad, you're bad, you're bad. You know it. You know Crap Dad. You're bad. You know it. And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again. Crap Dad. Thank you. I'm speechless. I'm going to tell you. That is the single greatest. Listen, no offense to my old compatriot B-Rob who used to do parody songs. No offense. Please. That's the greatest freaking parody song ever. For multiple reasons. One, there was venom in his voice. Can you taste the venom? I can taste it. It was just in jest. Was it? The palpable personal nature of it. You can smell it. Yes, you can smell it. Spitting out the words. He was spitting. Then... He was like Kupak. Yes.

1:51:45But then the moment where he fumbles. I had to put a lot of words into a small space. I need it over and over. Dude, that's what I was about to say. If I hear that 700 times, it isn't enough. Oh, my God. Rebecca is crying from laughing right now. Oh, my gosh. She's like, I need that on repeat. It's a ringtone. First of all, it's called Crap Dad. Crap Dad. Second of all, he comes in before the show starts and he goes. wrote you a new song. Just don't freak out. It's all jokes, man. Nothing I wouldn't say in here. And instantly I went, oh. I like how it's called Crap Dad, yet it also talks about your lack of sex appeal, your wide butt, how disgusting you are. It started out with your butt is wide. Your butt is wide. I also love how it's all sung in

1:52:48One note. Yeah! Yes. It's all in this key. It doesn't change. I'm an artist. It's phenomenal for a million reasons. So when we come back, I'll play that again. Yes, please do. Top of every hour. Top of every hour. For the rest of your life. Yes. So I'll play that again. And then we'll do imagations. Bravo. Unbelievable. Oh, wow. Bam Bam 94.9. I want to be a pilot. Is it tough? It's not easy. You could do it. Study hard, go to a good school, never skip your math homework. Piece of cake. Oh, yeah? But can you finish those carrots for your pilot's vision? I'd rather do my math homework. Thought so.

1:53:42There's a moment when an activity becomes an accomplishment, and when that moment comes for your child, you want to be ready. The ScholarShare Plan, California's official 529 plan, can help your kids reach their potential. It's a careful, consistently maintained college savings program, and your earnings are federal and California state income tax-free when used for qualified higher education expenses. For more information, visit ScholarShare.com or call 800-544-5248. To learn more about the ScholarShare College Savings Plan and its investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses, please contact Fidelity for a fact kit. Read it carefully. The ScholarShare College Savings Plan is offered by the ScholarShare Investments. Gang, it's your old pals, Woodsy and... Ella B. What's up, Ella B.? How you doing? Good. I feel like crap. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I can see that. Yeah. Well, you know... What doesn't feel like crap are my eyes. Everything else hurts, LLB, but my eyes are good. They're 2015 because you and I both went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Yes, and I went to your gig on Friday night, and I had a few pops, and I woke up on Saturday morning. Normally, I probably would have left my contacts in. Right, and felt like garbage. And felt like crap, but no, I woke up seeing clearly, feeling clearly. That's right. Listen.

1:55:01If you guys have gone to Clearview Eye, we want to talk to you. We want to hear from you. You can email both of us. You can call us, whatever. I want to hear about it because I know it's one thing to hear it from me, one thing to hear it from LLB, but it's a different thing to hear it from an M1 that actually got it done. So give us a call. But also, if you're looking to get LASIK, call Clearview Eye, 858-452-3937 or online at www.clearview.com. New, youthful, innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list. That's because the 2011 lineup of Mercedes-Benz vehicles is the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class. Take the C300 sports sedan. A rare combination of luxurious refinement and racing pedigree, its agility control suspension lets it handle with precision even when driven hard. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2011 C300 sports sedan and you'll discover that for 125 years Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. The 2011 C300 is available starting at just $33,990. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. MSIP for a 2011 C300 sports sedan exclusive. All options, taxes, title, registration, transportation, charge, and dealer prep. Options, model availability, and actual dealer price may vary. See dealer for details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. The Castle season finale ended with a heart-stopping moment.

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2:00:191-800-226-1548. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. Your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts today. See your participating Toyota dealer. What looks like Escondido on the 15 southbound, Gopher Canyon Road, an accident sitting on the right shoulder. On the 94 westbound at the 125 in Spring Valley, another accident here. And in Chula Vista on the 805 southbound, Orange Avenue, you're tied up. is in the center divider. This report brought to you by Applebee's. Applebee's 2 for 20 is back and fresher than ever. Try new chicken fettuccine carbonara or new bruschetta chicken. Get one appetizer, two entrees, all for just 20 bucks. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

2:01:16The Mikey Show. That a word. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. Still have not said the word of the day. The word of the day is membership. At some point between now and 10, I'll work that into a sentence. When I do, you've got to be caller 9, and I'll give you Bush. Filter. And Chevelle tickets. Plus, lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. So it's a great prize. Just be listening for it. President Obama's trying to cut the deficit by trimming spending by $3 trillion over the next 10 years. So he's going to lay the plan out this morning at the White House. And we'll see what happens. Now, they've got to strike a deal.

2:02:42Everybody has to agree on this by December 23rd. Could automatically affect government agencies. So we know what happened last time they had to do it. Went right down to the wire and it wasn't good. So we'll see what happens. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about San Diego State's weekend. But first and foremost, let me tell you that the sports report is brought to you by Expressly Gourmet, delivering San Diego's favorite restaurants. Apologize for my voice. I am sick. But, dude, don't look now. San Diego State Aztecs are 3-0. They won 42-24 over Washington State, who's in the Pac-12. And they've got a kid, Mike, named Ronnie Hillman, who is, it's Heisman watch for this kid already. 77 times for 500 yards and eight touchdowns in the first three games. These guys are legit. They have a very strong offense. So congratulations to the Aztecs. Right on. And then, so Mike and I were just talking about our picks. How did you do this week, Mike?

2:03:41in your picks for... We do a thing for Expressly Gourmet called the Pigskin Pick'em. And I can barely talk. Sorry. Don't laugh at me. You don't laugh. I know. You're not supposed to laugh at your friends. You're not supposed to laugh at your friends. I know. You're not supposed to. Just be different. I'm sorry. It's just that that one got me a little bit. I'm dying. Sorry about that. I sucked. I was nine and six. I don't know how many. Which is winning. I just went through mine, but you're catching me off guard. Yeah, you love that. One of my favorite things. Yeah, definitely one of your favorite things. I can tell you real quick. Okay. You feast. You feast. No, you. Let's feast and get it over with. Got that one wrong. And how many games were played? All but two. So I was nine in six to 15 games. You said that with authority. I wish I could. I missed three.

2:04:4614 games. You missed three. Holy crap, look at you. Easy Jimmy the Greek. These are the ones I got wrong. I thought Tennessee would beat Baltimore. Yeah, everybody did. Oh, no, no, excuse me. I thought Baltimore would beat Tennessee. Everybody did. They didn't. I thought that Indianapolis would win at home against Cleveland, which was probably foolish. I did, too. That was stupid. Yep. And then, finally, I thought L.O.B.'s team, the Philadelphia Eagles. Yep. would beat Atlanta. So did I. I felt really bad last night watching Michael Vick spit up blood on the sidelines. I did. He was spitting up blood on the sidelines? Yeah, he got his bell rung. And then they booed him and he pointed to the scoreboard. Yeah, he's classy. What? That is classy. They booed him. He was spitting up blood. He held dogs over his head and slammed him to the ground. Was he doing it during the game? No. But I watched it and I just had a little sheepish grin on my face. That's... Weird, dude. Is it? Yeah. You ever been to my house? It looks like a pound. There's seven dogs at my home. So it's not weird. It's completely legitimate. He didn't pick up your dogs. Doesn't matter. And slam them to the ground. So a child molester that molests children because they're not your kids, you shouldn't care? Touche, but it wasn't child molestation. I know. To compare the two, isn't that kind of weird? Not really. No? No. It's a weird mindset. How would you guys feel about like...

2:06:15Like chicken slaughters and cow slaughters. He doesn't care because they're cute. And he eats them. They're not cute. Some people eat dogs, though. Rabbits are cute. I don't eat rabbit. You don't eat it? No. What about snakes? What about rattlesnakes? I don't eat them either. They're not cute. They're not cute. It's only because they're cute. And they don't do it for sport. You do it for food. Yeah. Listen. When I was growing up in Yuma... That was a cool thing. Big player. Dog fighting was cool. It was interesting. He's done everything in his power to try to repent and spread the message that what he did was very wrong. Yeah, he has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to. But Woods does not believe in second chances or giving people a second chance. I just took a little delight to watch that guy. You have ever since. You've said that you don't forgive him for what he did. Kid's an animal advocate. I know you are. You don't forgive him for what he did, and you think that he shouldn't be forgiven. I forgive him because I have to. Because it's what I believe in. I have to forgive him. But I think he's a douchebag. I think he's a big, flapping douchebag. And I love to see him get his bell rung. And I always will. There's players that you don't like, and you like to see them get their clock clean. There are players that I do not take delight in the fact they're spitting out blood. I love that.

2:07:35But you'll watch UFC and watch guys get the crap kicked out of them. The point of UFC is that it's hand-to-hand combat. Well, football is a tough sport. It's a tough game. Well, yeah, but the point is not to be spitting up blood. That's incidental. I felt really bad for him. No, you did not. There were plenty of Atlanta fans in there wearing Vic jerseys and holding up signs saying they missed them. He's one of the most popular figures. In football. And I think that part of the reason that he's popular is because he's turned it around. Yeah, yeah. Man, the black folk love, man. I love black folk because I'm black. That's right. That's actual audio. I think that people like a story of somebody that's changed. Totally. I feel like a fat girl eating bonbons in private, cheering for the Eagles. You're embarrassed. I am. I'm like, I'm ashamed. Yeah. If people see me rooting for the Eagles, they're like, you monster. You must be a monster. Right. I can't. Just because of Vic? He plays for the team. Yeah. I mean, listen, I got A-Rod on my favorite baseball team. The guy's a cheating dirtbag. But I'm like, all right, just get a hit. You know what I mean? Just do well. Yeah. Well, as long as people don't do the thing anymore and they try to... Listen, I know I've done messed up stuff. Me too. I'm just not going to have...

2:08:55killing dogs. But he's not either. He doesn't advocate. You advocate it when you do it and you run a kennel out of your home. That's in fact advocation. Do you advocate drunk driving? No. But you've done it. Right. But it's different. So you've done it too. You've never been caught. Right. I've never dog fought for sport. You can't defend a dog killer. I wouldn't be on the air saying how terrible of you. Wouldn't you? No. It's in your past. Not if somebody's gone, hey, man, I want to talk about this and say I want to change it. And I realized I was jacked up, man. It was wrong. Like I said, there's been some other things that have happened since all this went down. And I just, I'm not buying his, yeah, I'm squeaky clean now. And I really miss dogs. That stuff bothers me, dude. It takes a special person to do what that guy did. And I don't mean special good. Everybody has had a couple pops and driven. Everybody. Everybody. Not everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody you know. Everybody you know. I know people that don't even drink. Okay. But you know what I'm saying. 99%. Name me one other dogfighter. Hey, not everybody's gotten DUIs. Right. I know. A lot of people have. Okay, but not everybody has. You need to defend that guy. Because he's changed, dude. Has he?

2:10:11Yeah. How do you know? We'll see. Because he's talking to kids and saying, how do you know that I don't drink anymore? It's community service. It's not still community service. Isn't it? No. He's trying to change. It's on his own accord. He's trying to get his sponsors back. He's trying to do all that. We're beating a dead dog here, man. That's what you say. We're beating a dead dog here. That's what you say. It's like hiring Casey Anthony. Well, she's acquitted. She's acquitted. Come on. She's innocent. A jury of her peers. You know what? He wasn't acquitted. Yeah, I know. But I'm saying she was, so we should hire her. He actually did time. We should get her. We should get her on here to do news because she's acquitted. I'm sure she will get hired somewhere. Yeah, I mean. By that logic, it's okay to kill kids. Maybe not as a babysitter. No, it isn't. But Mike, she was acquitted. She was acquitted. I'm just saying I forgive him. I do too. I have to. But can you forgive her? But it bothers. It still bothers me. I'm not going to root for the guy. You don't forgive him. I have to. I have to forgive him. You root for him when he's spitting up blood. It made me feel good for a second. Yeah, pay back. All right. Well, let's see. 570-1949. M1 John from Riverside. Hey, guys. Love your show. Thank you, man. Hey, I'm calling in because I was saying every time this subject comes up, you pretty much irritate me, Mikey.

2:11:36Why? I really hope you're playing devil's advocate. No, I'm not. He's not. I'm not. I'll tell you, man. I got fired from a radio station one time because there was a topic in the news about this kid that had been abducted, and I made a joke about it because she got home safe, and I thought that it was okay to make a joke about it because she got home safe. And I didn't have kids, and I was a knucklehead, and I got fired for it. And there was a bunch of stuff on YouTube about it. And it was something that tarnished my image for a long time. And I deserved it because I did it. And not only have I changed, but I have a kid that has autism. And I've helped to raise a lot of money for Rady Children's Hospital. And I will continue to be an advocate for things that have to do with kids. And I am so ashamed of what I did. And I'm so embarrassed of making that joke that got me fired. And I'm not that guy anymore. And, you know, Michael Vick was a dogfighter. And, you know.

2:12:52I wonder if we would be talking about it the same way if he was doing the rooster thing where the roosters fight. Cockfighting. Or bullfighting. Sure. Or bullfighting. I wonder if we'd be talking about it the same way. I wouldn't, but I don't have... I don't agree with that either, though. I don't have roosters running around my house either. Well, hey, man, but if you did, if you did, I wonder if you'd be like, hey, I have a pet rooster. Probably would. You know, and the bottom line is, is that because I want to go, gosh, man, this dude, he went to prison. He got out of prison. You ask yourself with a guy like Michael Vick, well, what's the best case scenario with a guy that was a scumbag? What's the best case scenario? The best case scenario with a scumbag is they turn their life around. Now, to go, well, how do you know they've turned their life around? Well, I don't. I guess the difference between me and you is I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. And by the way, I guess your past is pretty squeaky clean, right, John? It doesn't have to be. Well, I didn't do that, though. It doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be. Come on. It's that dogfighting. It's called sponsors. It's called sponsors. Any of these guys, Tiger Woods, any of them, any of these public figures, these professional athletes and stuff, any time they get their hands slapped, they got to do what they got to do. And the bottom line is, you know, the bottom line is, man, you have no idea what lives in that dude's heart.

2:14:13You have no idea. No, I don't. So that's why I said the difference between me and you is I'm giving the guy the benefit of the doubt. I've seen the guy go and do a bunch of stuff with kids and say, hey, this is a wrong thing to do. He doesn't have to, man. He doesn't have to. Doesn't he? No. But he does in order to get the $100 million contract. That's exactly right. You better damn sure make sure you're clean. That's your assumption, though. Hey, I had to go pick up trash on the side of the road. You know why? The judge told me to. Yeah, he's not doing court-ordered stuff right now. Isn't he? Hey, dude, all I know is that I used to be the scumbag of all scumbags. I got no right to be looking at anybody, and I don't care what they do. I got no right to be looking at people. No, I don't, man. No, I don't. As a father, you have every right to rail against people messing with kids as a father. Listen, do you not? Are there any is there anybody, dude, besides actual child molesters that think it's OK? I don't think that what Michael Vick did was OK. I don't. Because people think it's OK means that it's OK. What do you mean? You just said. No, no, no. I don't think anybody besides a child molester thinks that child molestation. People think that dog fighting is cool in some places. So it must be.

2:15:24Yes, some people do. That's terrible logic. Dude, I don't. That's not my point. I didn't bring that up then. No, I know, but that's what you just said. No, what I said was, I don't believe that dog fighting's okay. However, what I will tell you is, I had to grow up to learn that. Right. I had to grow up to learn that until I was in my, like, 20s. And I wasn't out there dog fighting, but until I was in my 20s... I didn't know that dog fighting was looked at upon like you're monsters. I knew it was pit bulls and you put them in a ring and they would shred each other up. Right. And that the one that won was a badass dog. Right. That was a killer dog, man. That dog was a great dog. No pun intended. That was a good fighter. And, you know, so then I realized, oh, this is not like widely accepted. That was the world that I grew up in. That was what I knew. And it all came from Mexicali. That's what I knew. I didn't do it. But what I thought was that it was pretty cool. And to be able to see it in person was pretty cool. Now, as far as Michael Vick goes, the guy went to prison. He did his time. And he had a change of heart. Now, he says he has a change of heart. But all I know is that...

2:16:46I say that I've had a change of heart. I don't want people looking at me going, have you? Have you really? You don't know me. You don't know what I've done. I don't know him either. It's not like I can hang out with him. So why would you give me, why would you instantly say, why would you look at me and be like, yeah, I don't know you, Mike, but I know you're saying that you've changed. Well, I think it's just so you can keep your radio job. Who's the scumbag there? Who's the freaking scumbag there? You guys are rooting against reform and redemption. No, what I'm rooting against is I don't see anything from this guy that is real. Yeah, you do. I don't. I don't either. attention to the NFL, though. I do. But I see enough about him to know the stuff I've read. He's gone through the mandatory stuff and he's trying to regain his sponsors. No, he has not. He's gone above and beyond the mandatory stuff. And now he's got his sponsors back. If this guy was not a professional football player, you guys could give a rat's ass. Oh, there's no question. Done with this guy. If he was Joe Femescondido, there's no question. But why do we watch football? Because it's entertaining. And that's wrong. That's a freaking... That's wrong. That is not true. That's wrong. That's not true.

2:17:49If he was Joe from Escondido, you think that I forgive him for what he did because he's good? Well, maybe. LLB probably does because she's an Eagles fan. That is what he does for a living. Which is why she's embarrassed to watch her own team. It's to entertain. It's to play football and play the game well. If he was just Joe from Escondido, I'd have no vested interest because I wouldn't care, but I wouldn't be out there rallying saying Joe from Escondido doesn't deserve a second chance. The only reason I know about this guy is because he's an entertainer. And he hasn't been arrested. Now, maybe what you guys think is that we don't know about it, but secretly he's running dogfighting rings right now. I don't know that he's running dog fighting rings. I doubt he'd be that dumb to do it again. But all I know is, if you're a dog owner and dog lover like I am, it's really tough to get over some of the stuff. And it's hideous. There was awful, hideous, terrible stuff. It's hard to stomach, man. It was awful, hideous, terrible stuff. And, you know, the guy went to prison for it and he did his time. And he says that he is...

2:18:52Sorry, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, that's your right to do. It's also my right not to. Hey, man, you're 100% right, but when you go on the air and you start saying that you were happy that the guy was spitting blood out of his mouth, guess what? I'm going to tell you, I think that's, I'm going to say what I think. I think that's kind of messed up. There's two big differences, too, Mikey. You watched it, or you saw it, and you thought, hey, that's pretty cool. He ran it. Yeah. Made money off it. He participated in it. He took the dogs down when they were broken, and he thought, oh, these dogs are done. He tortured them. Yes. Tortured him. Yes. You did not. If you saw a guy torturing the dog, you'd say, oh, that's pretty. Even if you grew up with it. Again, I'm not saying anything like it's being made into like, wow, you must be for it. I'm not. You must be okay with it. Well, Mike, are you okay? No, I'm not okay with what he did. What I am okay with is anybody in the world changing. In fact, that's the best thing you can hope for. I guess what I say is I don't believe it. Okay. And to not believe it is cynical and it's skeptical. Yeah. I'll admit that. And that's everybody's right. But, you know, I'm like, I look at it and I look at myself and I look at anybody like that guy that called in, man. I look at anybody that would like be irritated by me for wanting to give him a second chance. And I would say, why don't you freaking look in the mirror, dirtbag?

2:20:12Look in the freaking mirror. What have you done? Well, then that would be what you're saying to me. Yeah. Look in the freaking mirror. We're all dirtbags, bro. I'm a dirtbag. You're a dirtbag. We got dirtbag in our house. And you want to know something? What about the people that would be like, I lost my daughter in a DUI accident? How about that? They might believe that that is worse. They may believe that you have no right to say anything. And I would say to them, that guy's changed, man. That guy's changed. I never killed anybody. Never killed anybody. I never killed anybody. The only person I ever hurt was myself. Okay, again, they would say that the issue of DUI is pretty big. It's pretty big to people. And I say about you, I say that guy's changed. It's the best case scenario. And there may be cynical people that go, how do I know Woods has changed? Well, until Woods gets in trouble again, he's changed and he should be given that benefit of the doubt. He should be given that benefit. Anybody. should be given a benefit of the doubt. And anybody should be protected. You know? I mean, yes, they did something wrong in their past. But, I mean, holy cow. When you do something that wrong, you're not immediately getting redemption. He didn't immediately get it. I get it. I understand. About a year later, he's got $100 million. It's been a pretty meteoric rise again. And, you know, like I said, I'm cynical that it'll last.

2:21:35And it's very hard for me with seven dogs at home. I'll be on board with you, bro. When he gets caught again. Well done, man. When he gets caught again. If. Absolutely. If. Yeah. But then shouldn't you forgive him again? I mean, where does it end? He says he's cured again. Hey, bro. To me, it's trust. Yeah, yeah. Okay? He's earned some back. I think that he has earned some back. I do, too. A little bit. And I think that you can forgive somebody, but you don't necessarily have to trust him. Am I going to have him? Babysitting my dogs? Probably not. You ever hear a forgive and forget? You know, I've forgiven, but I haven't forgotten, and it's hard for me to forget. Watching that guy last night on the sideline, I was like, I took a little delight in it, man. Payback's a baby. What part of that is the forgiveness part? The delight. Maybe I'm the sadist then. Well, no, no, no. I'm just asking you. What part of that is the forgiveness part? Because I have to forgive him. I have to say, well, he has every right to move on with his life. So you say the words. I don't have to forgive. Yeah, I'll say the words. Maybe I don't believe it. Well, I mean, it don't sound like it. I'd like to see the guy's D get knocked in the dirt every chance he gets. Yep. Because I think he's kind of a dirtbag. But that's just me. That kind of. 570-1949. I want to know what people think. Let's be different, not be perfect. I can't be perfect. No, man. Nobody's supposed to be perfect. And what about him? What about him? He's different levels. He's way different levels.

2:23:03We're placing importance over different things based on how it affects us. Placing importance on a good quarterback. If you just say you're sorry, it's okay then. Dude, I'm sorry. No, you have to show why you should be forgiven and why you're making changes. I should be forgiven because it helps me with my sponsors is what I'm saying. That's what you're inferring. It helps. You guys want to fight? No, let me tell you. That's a true statement. It's next. I know. Michael Vick is a bitch. That's a true statement. A chance. Let's do it. More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out, like Friday Night Lady Tron, Playhouse of Blues.

2:24:06And the Mother Hips play The Belly Up. And then Saturday night, TV on the radio and Arctic Monkeys co-headline at the Open Air Theater. Bush play 4th and B on the 27th. Portugal demands at House of Blues on the 30th. That same night, you can head to The Belly Up and see Peter, Bjorn, and John. And Erasure play House of Blues October 2nd. Still to come, Blitz and Trapper with Dawes and about the music show with the pains of being pure at heart. Ryan Adams, Foo Fighters, Colts, Boxer Rebellion, Company of Thieves. City in Color, Black Jewelers and the Honey Bears, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, and Rocktoberfest with Everest. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings. That's close, but you can really save a lot of money. Much better. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Let's take another call. Hey, Flo. Ever wonder if you offer too many discounts?

2:25:28Whatever. Homeowner, safe driver, snapshot, pay in full. Right now, we offer more discounts than ever. Doesn't that seem a bit excessive? Wait. Is this Bill and Tom from another insurance company? Hang up. Hang up. Getting you all the discounts you deserve. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. KGTV, man. They are the greatest. And let me tell you something. If you are a big fan, like many Americans, by many I mean millions, the two-hour Dancing with the Stars is kicking off, 8 o'clock, and it is tonight on ABC10. Make sure you're watching it now. Here's who's going to be dancing. Ron Artest, David Arquette, Chaz Bono. Kristen Cavallari. Nancy Grace. You're going to be dancing on Dancing with the Stars. That's right, Mike. I will be dancing with the devil. That's right. Well, actually, you're going to be dancing with Tristan McManus. That's what I meant. All right. Same. China Phillips. Hope Solo. Not to be confused with Han. And China. Did I say China? China Phillips. It's pretty awesome. Make sure you're tuned in. And also the season premiere.

2:26:54of Castle. They had a cliffhanger last season. A lot of questions are going to be answered. Make sure you're watching it. It's KGTV. To get your week running like clockwork, it's good to start with a plan. And the Vons Weekly Ad is a great place to start. Our fantastic deals make shopping so much easier. You'll find delicious meal ideas plus stock-up prices on home essentials all in your weekly Vons ad. Shop Vons today to get these Vons Club specials. Rancher's Reserve Beef Top Sirloin Steak is only $2.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet red, green, or black seedless grapes are $0.88 a pound. And safe big with our mix-and-match frozen food sale. Brands like Breyers Ice Cream, Totina's Pizza Rolls, and many more are buy one, get one of equal or lesser value-free. And it's easy to stay healthy this flu season when you get a flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll get 10% off your groceries. Get the deals and ideas all at Vons. Sounds like a plan. Vons ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply.

2:28:01Good morning. Welcome to McDonald's. First good thing I've heard all day. But it's only 7.30 a.m. I know, and I already whacked my head, broke my phone, and got a parking ticket. So I'm going to need to order quite a few things. That should make you feel better, sir. How about an order of sausage, oh, and an order of bacon, scrambled eggs, three hotcakes, well, hash browns for sure. Um, sir? Oh, I'm not done. But all of that is on the deluxe breakfast platter, and it's now just $3.99. Seriously? Set your mornings right with McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast Platter. Three golden hotcakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, sausage, an English muffin, and more. All for just $3.99. The simple joy of every flavor of breakfast. Sorry you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Technically, I fell out of bed and the window. Breakfast served during breakfast hours only. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults in at kids price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. Two of San Diego's favorites are back, football and Hondas. Honda production is at full speed. The cars are rolling in and your Honda dealers of San Diego County are getting ready for a big fourth quarter. So if you've been waiting to drive a new Honda, your wait is over.

2:29:17All nine Honda dealers have a nice selection of models like pilots, Accords, CRVs, and all new 2012 Civics. They've got plenty of cars and plenty of deals. To find a Honda dealer nearest you, visit SDHondaDealers.com today. It's good to be back. Whether it's an earthquake, wildfire, or other unforeseen event, emergencies can and do happen. Hi, this is Rick Hendricks, Director of Disaster Services with the American Red Cross. The Red Cross and SDG&E want you to know that being prepared for an emergency involves advanced preparation. Help us help you be prepared for a disaster. Storing food and supplies in your home is a great first step, but you should also have a written plan in place, a list of essential items for your family, and an evacuation route. To find out more, visit sdge.com slash safety. And this is Ethel Herbert, Your Majesty. Ethel was in charge of catering for today's garden party. We very much enjoyed your cucumber sandwiches. How does one go about making those? Frank's Red Hot Sauce, Your Majesty. I put that s*** on everything. I say. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. It's aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, chili, even ones cucumber sandwiches. Frank's Red Hot. I put that on everything. I'm one degree away from standing out. American Public University has more than 75 online degrees. I'm one degree away from a quality education.

2:30:41American Public University's tuition is far less than what you'll find at other top online universities. And I'm one click away from making it happen. To learn more about one of the most affordable online universities, visit AmericanPublicUniversity.org. This is it, the Built Ford Tough sales event. And in this corner, the undisputed champion Ford F-Series, America's best-selling trucks for 34 years and counting. Buy a new F-150 SuperCrew now and get a $1,000 trade-in bonus plus zero APR for 60 months. That's right, zero APR plus a $1,000 bonus on top of what your trade is worth. Between all that cash and no-charge financing, we're talking about a serious one-two knockout punch. Learn more at SanDiegoCountyFord.com. Then see your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer. Don't miss the Built for Tough sales event. Ford, built for San Diego. Not all buyers will qualify for Ford credit financing. 60 months at $16.67 per month for $1,000 financed regardless of down payment. Excludes Raptor. $1,000 trade in bonus cash available to customers who trade in a 1996 or newer car, truck, or SUV. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 1031.11.

2:31:56This report brought to you by FlexYourPower.org. During hot weather, it's vital to conserve energy, especially if officials call a flex alert. By saving energy, you're helping handle the energy challenge. Updates at FlexYourPower.org. In Escondido on the 78 westbound before the 15, an accident in the center divider as well as the right shoulder. Also in Escondido on the 15 southbound Gopher Canyon Road, an accident on that right shoulder. A problem here in Chula Vista on the 805 northbound before H Street. There's an accident. It's blocking the number two lane. This report brought to you by Fox in one week. Live the adventure. The biggest new series of the season. Terranova. There's no paradise without sacrifice. It premieres at 8, 7 central on Fox. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Tell me, what'd the world look like to you when you first opened your eyes? Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. You don't skimp on hair products. You don't skimp on haircuts. You don't skimp on DJs, designer jeans. You don't skimp on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. He's probably got his own ring.

2:33:50I do. Rough Riders. Yes. Kennels. Hop right out of my backyard. That's right. You got membership. I'm a millionaire. I made $1,600 off it last year. Gotta do it for fun. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure they're glad to be back. They're mad at us. Are they mad at us? Yeah, we're beating a dead horse. It's one of those things we'll never agree on, so we probably shouldn't debate it anymore. I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. But those 14 eyes clouds. that I see when I walk, and they cloud my judgment. I'll admit that. You know? Let's have seven dogs, two eyes apiece, 14. And the name on the front of the jersey might cloud my judgment. Fair enough. Eagles fan. Yes. And he's a black guy. That's true. It's two things. And he's sharp. He is a good-looking cat. Matt said I get a pass with him. Wow. Oh! You could have a free pass? Mm-hmm. Would you take it? No, I don't think I would. Wouldn't you? Mm-mm. I don't get free passes, man.

2:34:50You don't get or give. I'm not married, Mike. I don't give or give. It's just a reminder. So, actually, you could take it if you wanted to. Yeah, without permission, technically. No. You're in a committed relationship. There's no ring. In the eyes of the Lord. If you like it. You should have. Listen, you're in a committed relationship. You cannot be with anyone else. Neither can your boyfriend. That's what a committed relationship is. My boyfriend cannot. I can't. I get. Like Vic. I see. He said that I couldn't. M1 Tanya from San Diego. What was the WOTD? It was membership. Yeah. That is correct. The word of the day was membership. You just won a pair of tickets to see Bush and Filter and Chevelle and lunch for two at Surf Brothers Teriyaki. And we will also throw in. A lunch with Woods and I debating Michael Vick. Whoa. 150% with Woods. Thank you very much. All right. I enjoyed that little sideline bit too, just so you know. It is your right. It is your right. Hang on the line. Thank you. All right, cool. Hopefully you don't have anything to be forgiven of. I can't believe you guys like to see humans in pain. I can't believe you hate dogs. I'm evil. I don't. I thought you were nice. Hey, let's move on. Jay wrote this. Jay wrote this song.

2:36:19About me. Oh, yes. Yes.

2:37:22You know it. You know, Crap Dad. You're bad. You know it. And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again, Crap Dad. Oh, my goodness. What? That's how it is. Crap Dad. Crap Dad. Oh, my gosh, Jay. Come on. Come on. Come on, Mike. You're eating lunch for two. Oh, my gosh. Hey. Kim, what rhymes with a wide? Right. Oh, my gosh. My head just got numb. Does anything rhyme with obese? Beast. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. What about big, giant, fatty? Right. Right. All right. Jay?

2:38:27Yes. It's time for imaginations. Are you ready? No. You're going to do fine. Now, the idea here is that I'm going to give Jay three different voices that he has to do. It's not to win anything. It's just for our delight. We will begin with Elton John right after a sad performance for Lady Di. Hello, Elton. Hello, Mikey. That was really something out there. You gave it everything you had. Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Sorry, what was that? No, no, no. What did you say? What did you say when I said to you, Hold me closer, tiny dancer. He's just singing words. Elton John. It's weird for an interview. I know it is.

2:39:33That's why I'll get him to answer some questions. Elton John. Go ahead, baby. Were you and Lady Di very close? So very close. Loving your accent. You sound like you're in a penitentiary. Thank you, Elton. Thank you. Very Hannibal Lecter. Very. It was very. You ready for this next one? I don't know. For his next trick, Jay will be the head football coach for the University of Minnesota. Eh? After a tough loss. Oh, it's a tough loss, eh? What part of Minnesota are you from? Upper East Side. Always. Always Upper East Side. Always Upper East Side. It's always the Upper East Side. Isn't that in Manhattan? It's always the Upper East Side. It doesn't matter where you are when I say, where are you from? Upper East Side. Upper East Side, eh?

2:40:43Are you Canadian? Cause in the yard. Austin. Cause in the yard. How did you... What was your thoughts putting this plan together to go after this football team? We're going to hit them hard, hit them low. That's it. Just hit them hard, hit them low. Got four downs to do it. Got to do it in four downs. Now you're from the 1930s. What happened? It made you lose. Yeah, what happened? We hit them soft and hit them high. Thank you. We hit him soft. And we hit him high. He's a legend. Now, this next one is very, very specific, Jay. So you have to be very specific on your last one, okay? Oh, my God. Okay. In this next one, you are going to be Julie Andrews. And very, very specifically, you are practicing.

2:41:49Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from Mary Poppins. So this will give you a chance to be able to... Thank you, Julie. So, Julie, go ahead. Let me hear what it sounds like when you're warming up the pipes. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, even though the sound of it is... I'm in shock. Again, speechless. I feel like he's wearing a person's skin right now. Oh, he likes it. Can you read the words to the song? Just the name of the song. Instead of singing it, say it. Califragilisticexpialidocious. Oh, my gosh. I'm choking on laughter. That is fantastic. Thank you very much. That was Jay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Julie. What a ham she is. That was incredible. Oh, boy. I could do that all day. Upper east side. Upper east side of a state.

2:43:34Must state. All right. It's time for that's a true statement. Now, what we'll do is pull out one of the statements. We'll read it. And then whoever wrote it must say that's a true statement. And then you have to sort of defend what it is that you're saying, because for many of us, it won't make a lot of sense. Like if I were to say Michael Vick should be forgiven. I could say that's a true statement and then I'd have to defend it. I could say Michael Vick is a monster. That's a true statement. I'd have to defend it, which wouldn't be hard because there's depositions. This first one says, women who smoke like to poke. I wonder who wrote that. That is a true statement. Now, let's think about this for a moment. What he's saying is, if a girl smokes... I don't want to put words in your mouth. I'm going to ask. Are you saying that if a girl smokes, it's easier to get with her? Yes. 100%. Nor do I disagree. I don't think I do. I was about to say something like, how dare you? And then I thought about it. I think we're all monsters. Unless there are people that are listening right now. Or they're just sluts. Oh, wow. Woods. Woods. Woods is on cough medicine.

2:45:05Well, that's a better way. I wouldn't call them sluts. No, I would never call them sluts. They're frisky. No, what? That's worse. I would just say thank you. They're friskier. I'm sure there's girls that smoke that are like, oh, that's so not true. But there's probably a lot of guys that are listening that are like, it's completely true. They're wilder. Yeah. Yes. Wilder. Caution to the wind. That is a great, that's a great. That's a true statement. There's no question. See, here's the thing about that's a true statement. They're so politically incorrect. Yes. Bold. Bold. Yeah. It's our past, like getting a chance to say stuff like that. It's one of those deals where you're like, hey, listen. I had to. It's a game. We're playing a game. We're doing this. What am I supposed to do? It's a good one. I'm reaching. I like how you said women like to poke. Yes. I thought he meant with their fingers. When they talk to people, they point at them. This one says, Thanksgiving is pointless, a bit, and shouldn't still be a holiday. That's a true statement. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Oh my God. You are a communist. You're a communist. Get out. What's going on with you? Hang on.

2:46:33You've got to hear me out. Now, Jay, can you tell me what Thanksgiving is supposed to be? Absolutely. I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. Glad I asked. When the pilgrims and the Indians got together for their first big meal together. That's not true. You see, I had to look it up because I got this thought and I had to look it up because I was like, I was. I kind of thought that. And then I was like, but I think it's also the day we're just supposed to be. And I had to look it up. It's actually Thanksgiving was started to celebrate the harvest. OK, we don't even know. OK, we don't even know why we do that now. I have to be clear about something. I'll take it.

2:47:30It's a Thursday off. It's rad. Football, the greatest food ever. What a day it is. Thursday and a Friday off. Let me just say, I love Thanksgiving. I was late. We know. I love Thanksgiving. But even when you think about it and you break it down into the whole thankful thing, it's a day where we all reflect on what we should be thankful for. I was having this discussion with my wife and I go, you know, even that part of it is about 15 seconds during grace. That's a bit. At least it happens. And kids make things in school. They say what they're thankful for. The hand turkey. Great. But we're so selfish. But it's a bit. Not a bit. It's a bit. It's the only holiday we all can agree on. All the different religions that we're all going to get together with our families. Oh, in America? Yes. No. Yeah, well, okay, there's a national holidays, but you don't do things with family the way that you do on Thanksgiving. Right, that's the family day. Thanksgiving, all the families get together. You say what you're thankful for. And that's what I said to Rebecca. I'm like, it should be, if it's going to be a holiday, it should be like family day. Because what it's not is what it is.

2:48:47It's giving thanks. It is. But that's not even what it is. What it was about. Why it's a holiday is a freaking harvest. Nobody cares. Nobody knows. Nobody does it. The football. It's like so, it's so dumb. The football bit gets me because, I mean, that's what thanks. You get up, you watch three games and you eat. I love it. And you fall asleep and you wake up and you eat more. It's like my favorite holiday. It's great. It's mine too. Our family goes around and they say what they're thankful for and everything. And I think. You know, most of the time we're selfish. We think about ourselves. Why not have an excuse to go around and say that stuff? Right. And think about it. Like, even that part of it to me is like it happens at the table. It's okay. Oh, boy. Call it, you know. Let's call it harvest. Just leave it alone. Doesn't even have anything to do with Thanksgiving. I give thanks. Ready? The next one says, engagement parties are a bit. That's a true statement. Engagement parties are a bit... I am unfamiliar with the engagement party. All right, so L.O.B. and Matt get engaged. Wow. Let's say. Yeah. So we're really dealing in the... It's like a fairytale. Fairytale world. Fantasy. So they're going to plan a wedding. They're going to plan a wedding where everybody comes and they bring presents and they watch them get married and celebrate their love for each other. Before that, they're going to have a party. A party to get gifts. I...

2:50:19This is new to me. Really? The engagement party? It's like a push present. Like when I first found out about the push present, which is when you're supposed to give a gift to your wife if she has a baby, which I didn't know about. Right. I found out about, it's called a push present. I didn't know about the engagement party. Yeah, they're a bit. What do you do? You go to their house and celebrate the fact that they've gotten engaged? Sometimes they do, do they always do couples? It's usually couples, yeah, because it's an engagement party. Anyone who would also probably be invited to the wedding. Right. So it's like a sneak preview of who might be coming. Great call. To the wedding. It's a sneak preview. And an acceptable gift is usually like a bottle of champagne. So it's like a celebratory sort of, like a bottle of wine or something. I got engaged. I am 100% down with that, Woods. I think that's a bit. It's a bit. I also, this is going to make people crazy, I also think the engagement photos are a bit. Why that? Yes, yes. Like, why don't you do photos when you get married? To your wedding pictures. Your wedding pictures. I don't need to see you in jeans. It's for the announcement. Well.

2:51:19Just let everybody know. Yeah. We're engaged. We're getting married in February. You guys will all be at the wedding. It'll be great. Hey, have you guys seen our professionally done honeymoon photos? Yeah. What you do is you go on the honeymoon and you hire a photographer and they take pictures of you while you go on the beach. But I did see you, Mike, in your jeans and Rebecca kneeling down with her arm around your leg in front of a fig tree. That's cheesy, but they can be done tastefully. Right. My friend actually just put this up as her status yesterday. She's like, can I be honest? I think that they're lame. And I was like, they can be really lame. They're a bit. No, you want pictures for the day of. Sometimes people will have like, oh, sign this picture of the two of us for us to have. Why don't you hand somebody your camera and say, hey, can you take a picture of us real quick? And they take a picture and you go, yeah, we're engaged. Yeah, we're engaged now. But going out and getting a photographer to take a picture because you're engaged? You're engaged. You're not married. What if it doesn't last? What if you call off the engagement? Stupid. These are divorce photographs. These are separation photographs. Well, listen. It's complicated. It's complicated. 570-1949. Maybe we're wrong about it. You can let us know. I have a very interesting topic coming up about being ratted out. This is the Mikey Show.

2:52:58On FM 94.9. The Padres schedule is winding down, but the baseball season continues with exciting playoff action. The Saquon Casino postgame show is your source for expanded pennant race coverage and the best Chargers reporting. Anywhere in San Diego. And, of course, we've set up camp at Montezuma Mesa for exciting Aztecs action all season long. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 beginning in October on Channel 4 San Diego. Baseball action continues exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego as the Padres are on the road live from Colorado, 515 Monday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show. But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4 San Diego. Okay, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. Yeah, he's not feeling too good today, but...

2:54:04I'm feeling good enough to tell you about Denny's Let's Get Cheesy menu because it's incredible. And actually, people on the Mikey Show, they're going to be bringing us some grub tomorrow from the new Let's Get Cheesy menu. Listen, it's a new menu that they've created. It's available all day, every day, limited time only, and there's dishes starting from $4.99. They got all kinds of good stuff. And it all is celebrating cheese. They did the bacon one before, which was phenomenal. And cheese is, I think, as good as bacon. You put cheese on anything, it's going to taste better. So they've got all kinds of good new things. They've got a new patty melt with mac and cheese right on it, which is incredible. It's Denny's new Let's Get Cheesy menu. It will make you nuts. It's so good. It's available all day, every day, limited time only. Dishes starting at only $4.99. Denny's, let's get cheesy. To get your week running like clockwork, it's good to start with a plan. And the Vons Weekly Ad is a great place to start. Our fantastic deals make shopping so much easier. You'll find delicious meal ideas plus stock-up prices on home essentials all in your weekly Vons ad. Shop Vons today to get these Vons Club specials. Rancher's Reserve Beef Top Sirloin Steak is only $2.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet red, green, or black seedless grapes are $0.88 a pound.

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2:59:02This report is brought to you by Applebee's. Applebee's 2 for 20 bucks is back and fresher than ever. Try new chicken fettuccine carbonara, new bruschetta chicken. Get one appetizer, two entrees, all for just 20 bucks. Well, we've got some backup here as you head through Chula Vista on the 805 northbound before H Street due to an accident that's got the number two lane blocked. Five southbound at the rest area, an accident. Two cars there in the center divider. And in Escondido, Bear Valley Parkway at El Dorado Drive, an accident. Also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. Your neighborhood Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any TrueStart or True2 battery that's installed. Why wait? Visit the experts today. See your participating Toyota dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d' from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. You can see the part of you that's drifting over me. Make some noise in here. Yeah. I do like some Michelle Burch. Like is an understatement. T-shirt on it.

3:00:42I don't know. Michelle Branch, Tommy Bahama edition. Actually, my friend, look what I'm wearing today. Is that Tommy Bahama? Yes. That's Tommy Bahama. This is Tommy Bahama. It was a gift from my uncle. Was it? Uncle Mike? Yes, my uncle Mike. I actually have an uncle Mike. That's a Tommy Bahama edition. Yankees? Why did they do that? Why are you so mad? I'm so jealous. I'm sure we can get you a charge. It's too small for you. You can have it. Put that away, Woods. Here, you can have it. You can have it. You're tornadic. You can have it. It was really a gift? Yeah, it was a gift. Uncle Jack gave it to me. I have to say what that is. It is. Tommy Bahama. Uncle Jack was a saxophone player. Is that right? No, that's what you did. That was the motion I got. That was the motion I got. Was it? It was on the radio, so people can't see it. I have to describe it. Was it not the sax? Did we get it wrong? Did I get that wrong? What was that? Nothing. Oboe? Yes. He was an oboe player. He might have played air sax once or twice in his day. There's nothing better in the world than air sax. No.

3:02:09You're getting into it. Except for Air 6. Air 6. It's real good. Playing the Air 6 in here. Holy crap. What the hell's happening? What the hell's happening? Jay's losing his mind. What is happening? Jay is losing his mind. I like when he throws the woo in. I'll be honest. Gotta have the woo. 5-7-0. 194.9. We are all on one today. Yes. That's a true story. Got killed on the Facebook page because of the Michael Dick stuff. We won't do it anymore. Won't we? Sorry, guys. Until we do it again. Trying to have a spirited debate. It's only been six months. It will happen again. Happens off the air occasionally. When Woods and I will be driving somewhere. Yes. We'll discuss it. You asked me to go to dog fighting stuff with you and I refused. Stop. That doesn't happen.

3:03:13Because it's happened once, that means... All of a sudden, you're a connoisseur. This is not a good spot. We've got to go to the other place. Mikey, stop dragging me to these things. You told me we were going to Taco Bell. Well, all I'm telling you is it's a great way to make a couple hundred dollars in an afternoon. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is Jared's website. Jared's our friend. He does business cards, websites. Anything you want. Just give him a call or go to his website, createyourdesignonline.com. You think this was fun? Wait until we have 28 hours together. Yeah. And you can't escape it. We should do that debate then. Yes. But we'll wait to do the debate until we're 27 hours in. 9 a.m. on Friday. We should start.

3:04:14Tired. Screaming at each other. Tired and punchy, yeah. Okay, so I want to do a couple of more that's-a-true statements because we were having a good time. We can debate these. What we do is we pull out a wild statement. You can call 570-1949 if you would like to debate. Or if you disagree, agree, whatever. After I say it, the person has to say, that's a true statement. will often post provocative photos on Facebook and insult our intelligence by stating that they were, quote, bored. That's a true statement. Now, what do I mean? I'm talking about the picture that they take of themselves in their bikini. Yes. In the mirror. Mm-hmm. And then they put, just bored. Yeah, Ella B's doing it. She's doing the... Gosh. Yeah, I'm just so bored. So bothered by this. So bothersome. Gosh, this is so, oh. I'm so bored. I tried everything today. I might as well take this picture. Nothing on TV right now. The gym is packed. Brilliant. So I'm bored. What should I? I know. I'll put on my bikini. Yes. And take a photo. Despite it being February.

3:05:50Right. It is insulting to our intelligence. Listen, we're not complaining that they're there, but don't try to play it off that you're bored. Don't play it off that you're bored. Don't even label them. Don't label them. Just put them up there if you want. Well, listen, put it up there and say, I have a pretty hot body, don't I? Well, I mean, at least I think so. That's why I'm putting it on there. Fishing for compliments. Or maybe that. I am fishing for compliments. You'll get them. You're going to get them either way. It's just that one way insults our intelligence. One way does not. Agreed. You weren't bored. You're not bored at all. You couldn't be bored if you tried. You got excited getting ready for that photo. Yeah, exactly. That was a photo shoot. Don't try to pass it off as anything but a photo shoot. You're having the time of your life. So you're actually the opposite of bored. Agreed. Love it. All right. This one says, every girlfriend that you broke up with would like another chance at a relationship. That's a true statement. I'm the only one that can say it. Right.

3:07:08It's true for me. I get at least seven, eight emails a day. Hey, Mike, trust me, you get a hall pass on this one. You don't even have to talk on this one. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know, and you don't have to try to agree. I don't want you sounding stupid. You never broke up with a girl. They all broke up with you if you ever even had a girl. Right. Technically, Mike, have you ever had a girlfriend? I know you're married, but... Please. You can't just count girls that were your friends. That's right. If that was the case, Mike, you had 957 girlfriends. And five boyfriends. Jay, would you like to explain this to us, please? I'm just saying that if you broke up with a girl, they always want a chance to prove that they could still be your girlfriend. To prove that they could still be. Yeah, any girl that... Heck, even someone broke up with me. Once they found out you were happy with somebody else, they wanted to come back and put their stamp on you. It's a true statement. I believe the same could be said for men. We all have a little bit of radar when somebody else has moved on and you have not. I was always happy she was gone. You've never broke up with someone and regretted it? No. Well, I don't have feelings, so that'd be impossible. Technically, Mike, I constitute as a sociopath.

3:08:32Don't you know what true love is, you dummy? I said Kim's my true love. Gosh, man. You don't listen. Either that or you don't process it. The Jay gagging at me, I make him so sick he gags, is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Man, why do I try? I don't know why I say nothing. Gosh, man. I can't talk any sense into it. Hi, my name's Jay. I'm on the mark. I can't even say it. Kim, do you know what Maggie... Maggie's like spoiled milk. I have vinegar in my mouth. So, hey, today the Vic thing came up. Woods and... They just made it. Sorry. Oh, my gosh. Give me some milk.

3:09:36Oh, God, oh, God. I get why they call it the show. Oh, man. Oh, brain freeze. That just happened. I don't know who I got more. I don't know who I got more than. It's the uncomfortable alarm. Oh, my God. You ready? Yep. This one says it's the same one. Huh. You put it back in there? Huh? You put it back in there? No, no, no. No. No one appreciates naked paintings. For their, quote, artistic value. That's a true statement. Wow. I agree. I agree. You just, you don't really. You either like the way the boobs look. Oh, it's a nude. I thought she was saying, I thought she was saying, not enough of us appreciate the artistic quality. No, she's saying that nobody really looks at a nude painting and appreciates it.

3:10:48for the art. You don't. Which is why I used to go to Borders Bookstore when I was a little kid and look at the photography section of nude paintings and pictures because I was a creep. The body is a beautiful thing. Oh my god. Yeah, I know. It turns us on. We like them. Right. It's not for its artistic value. Well, apparently with art, a soup can is also a beautiful thing because you can paint whatever. Right. But I agree with Ella B. If you're trying to give me the whole... Look at the palette. The palette is tremendous. It's the way the light hits around. The more uncomfortable it makes us, the more artistic it is, apparently. Right. Absolutely. We were looking at... We went to our doctor's... I went to the doctor's office with my wife. There was a painting in there. And it was an abstract. But, you know... I looked at it for two seconds. I saw boobies and people and it looked like Caligula. That's creepy. And I said to my wife, I go, that's a trip that's hanging in here. And she goes, what do you mean? I go, look at all the people doing all the weird stuff. And she looked at it and she goes, oh, wow. Takes a creepy mind. Takes a creepy mind. And instantly you picked it up. Yeah, but I mean, it's clear. It wasn't like, oh, yeah, I could sort of see.

3:12:13You just had to look at it. And she never really noticed it. And for me, it was like, oh, wow. There's quite an orgy going on there, isn't there? But it was. I mean, it was like an orgy. I'll bring the grapes. She didn't see it. She didn't see it. Yeah. Nude art. Give me a break. You just want to see it. You're a pervert. Yeah. Ball in. NASCAR is not a sport. That's a true statement. Oh, wow. You're going to get killed. You're dead. Hey, it's not that it's not something. I agree, and I see why people appreciate it, but it's not a sport. It's not a sport any more than ballroom dancing is a sport. It's not a sport any more than... See, I think it was Jim Rome that said this. He said, if fat guys can do it while they're drunk, it's not a sport. Bowling?

3:13:11Exactly. He's like, fat dudes do that when they're drunk. It's not a sport. Damn it. He used to say that about golf. Curling. What is that? Yeah, I mean. Well, okay, there's some physical exertion, which I know when I've tried to drive fast and go around a turn, I do notice that I kind of have to use a little bit of muscle. So I guess that's the argument, that you kind of have to like. There's a skill set. There's strength involved. And there's a skill set. There's a skill set, but. There's skill set in video games. Yeah. Is that a sport? Playing video games a sport? Poker, a sport, or a game? Yeah. But I wouldn't call NASCAR a game. It's a hobby. It's a race. It's a race. I think race is... Okay, what about a marathon? It's a sport. That's not really a sport. And I was a runner. It would be on ESPN. It is a sport.

3:14:01And it is a sport. Marathon is a sport. Yeah. Running is a sport. Of course. You're definitely an athlete. Then I guess driving is a sport if running is a sport because it's something we do every day. But you need physical endurance. You need physical endurance to do NASCAR too. I do know that because I used to have that same deal. And it's true. And I don't believe it anymore. They do, but I don't know that that constituted as a sport. They do have to have endurance because it's extraordinarily hot. And the speeds are, they're constantly doing the G-forces and they're having a fight against it. Right. Yes, that's true. So astronauts are athletes. There you go. See? Hey, listen. You do have to condition, though. If you make the argument for NASCAR, astronaut? Astronaut. Look, I ran track and cross country for four years, all of high school. Even though I was a varsity athlete, all my friends were like, well, it's not a sport. You're running. Everyone can run. But I'm faster. You're going to get killed for that. M1OG from San Diego. This is M1OG from San Diego. But anyhow, I just don't think it makes sense what you're saying. It's not a sport if you're like big and you're like, if you're drunk. Because I've been drunk and I ran five, six miles. Like one day I was just out of my mind drunk and I was like, I'm going to go for a run. So, I mean, you can be drunk and shoot a basketball. You can play football, play cats. Not effectively.

3:15:28You know, Tom Brady is not going to be effective if he's drunk. Lawrence Taylor used to do cocaine before games, and he was pretty effective. Okay, but not drunk. Drunk is different. Drunk is inebriated. There's lots of guys that can do things while they're sped up. It's a depressant. Yeah, it is. Use that point in bowling. It makes no sense to what you're saying. You can't do anything when you're drunk. So you can't say that it's not a sport. And golf, I'm not a golf person. No, they say, listen. Golf's a freaking sport. Hey, listen. What's his name? Who's the guy that used to be a chubby dude? No, I'm still chubby. John Daly. I think he says that he used to be out there drunk. Dude, I play better after a few beers. And so does Jay. Me too, for sure. We all do. But you also maintain that golf is a sport. Yes, very much. It's not a skill. No, it takes skill, but it is a sport. It's a competitive... Every man for himself, sport. What constitutes a sport? Great question. It's competition with physical skill. And what else? Then in that case, NASCAR would be a sport. It's true. It's competition with physical skill. It has to be physical skill. Here's the definition. Of a sport. An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.

3:16:55That's pretty much it. That would be a sport. Chess is a sport. Chess is a sport. It's not physical exertion, is it? Sure it is. It's mental exertion. Why isn't it physical exertion? You don't really exert yourself. Okay, wait. What if you're playing for seven hours and a chess match takes hours upon hours? I hate you for bringing up chess now. Bobby Fisher is an athlete. He's an athlete. So they said it had to be entertaining. Some people are very entertained. So women's basketball isn't a sport then. Fair enough. If y'all hadn't noticed, I hate women. I hate them. They're second citizens. I love them. Oh, that's freaking fantastic. Holy cow. Let's see. M1 Frazier from La Jolla. Go ahead. Yeah, I was listening to your What's a Sport, and I was just thinking that if it's not, it doesn't have a ball or a field. It's not a sport. A lot of people say that. Dude, I've heard that. I have heard that. Hey, man, some people really believe there's no ball, there's no field. That ain't a sport. Field can also be rink, court, something like that. Yeah, I mean, I surf a lot, and I don't consider that a sport. You don't? It's such a sport. It's endurance, but it's a hobby. Oh, no, it's skill. Well, I don't compete against anybody other than myself when I do it.

3:18:20But I would consider that a sport. You're not competing. It's an extreme sport. Yes, you are. Well, he's not, but Kelly Slater is how. Competing against the wave. Like, what is it subjective? It is. It's like ice skating. Well, they do give you scores. I don't know how it works, but I don't do it. I couldn't compete. Well, look at it. Hey, that's why competitive eating is a sport. Because they're physically exerting themselves to do it. So if you can get better by training at something, does that mean it's a sport? Love making. Sport. Mike, sound familiar? Food eating. Give me food. Mike. I want tacos and burritos. Got the gold medal. Hey, Mike, that'd be so confusing for you. Would you be competing for the United States or Mexico? Which would you do? You'd probably compete for both. You'd be like a, what do they call it, bisexual. You'd be competing for both. Yeah, because you would be competing, yeah, on both sides. You'd go both ways, Mexico and... Right, go left. Binational. Binational. You'd be the first person to ever be able to compete for both countries because your gut's big enough. You could sit on the border and cover both countries. Get it.

3:19:52Yeah, Mac. You could be in Mexico and the United States at the same time. Isn't that right, Mac? Sorry, I can't even make jokes about you anymore. Gosh, this is too much. I can't do it. It's so terrible. M1, Liz from Chula Vista. Hi, Liz. Go ahead. I just wanted to say that dance is definitely a sport. It's in the Olympics, ballroom dancing. It is? Is it? Ballroom dancing is in the fall games. Oh, my God. According to that definition we read, it sure as heck is a sport. Physical exertion. It's definitely a skill, and it requires athletics. Yeah, we get a lot of people say, oh, dance isn't a sport because we don't compete all the time. But it's definitely physically demanding. That's not why I say it. I say it just because it's dancing. It's cheerleading a sport.

3:21:00Yes, my wife would tell you it is. Everything is a sport. Yes, everything is a sport. Everything. Gosh darn it. We haven't done it for a long time, but we're going to play Movie Plot Hot Potato. Oh, yikes. I forgot. Do people pick you or Jay? Yeah. 570-1949. You're going to pick... Jay or Woods, who will win from being able to tell me the plot of a movie and have me guess it? Yep. We're next. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.

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3:26:10To get your week running like clockwork, it's good to start with a plan. And the Vons Weekly Ad is a great place to start. Our fantastic deals make shopping so much easier. You'll find delicious meal ideas plus stock-up prices on home essentials all in your weekly Vons ad. Shop Vons today to get these Vons Club specials. Rancher's Reserve Beef Top Sirloin Steak is only $2.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet red, green, or black seedless grapes are $0.88 a pound. And safe big with our mix-and-match frozen food sale. Brands like Breyers Ice Cream, Totina's Pizza Rolls, and many more are buy one, get one of equal or lesser value free. And it's easy to stay healthy this flu season when you get a flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll get 10% off your groceries. Get the deals and ideas all at Vons. Sounds like a plan. Vons. Ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. Monthly payment calculation assumes 5% down at 7% APR over 30 years. This is an important announcement to anybody paying rent. Are you completely out of your minds? You're just throwing your money away because you may be able to own your own home for less than you're paying in rent. Don't believe it? Then check it out for yourself. Call Hot Props for a free list of hot foreclosure deals. 1-800-400-5302.

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3:28:53For no-cost maintenance details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease a 328i sedan for $299 a month and get a $1,000 credit. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Go to Jack in the Box and try Jack's new jumbo breakfast platter. Eight mini pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash brown sticks, and bacon or sausage, all for $299 plus tax at participating restaurants. Anytime you're ready. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like watching guns and blowing stuff up. Woods. All I want is a crisp, sweet apple. That's it. And you can't find it. I can't find it. Every time I bite into it, it goes, Lauren. I write bad reviews about them online. And Jay. She'll go on a girls trip and I'll go on like a surf trip or something. But if I have a choice, I would rather be together. Whoa, what am I hearing? Now. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show Live. If you would like to be a part of Mikey's Show Live, just go to our website, MikeyShow.com. There's a place on there that you can tell us that you want to come in. And every day in the 9 o'clock hour, we do a live studio audience. And on Friday, we do two hours. So it's 8 to 10 on Friday. I want to let people know that we are 16 days.

3:30:2821 hours and 25 minutes away from Mikey-thon 2011. It's going on October 6th and 7th. All to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital. And it's going to be great. And we encourage people to come and hang out and stuff. It's going to be a good time. And again, it's happening October 6th and 7th. And love to see you come out and hang out with us. And hopefully raise a lot of money for Rady Children's Hospital. All right, let's do some movie plot hot potato. We have not done movie plot hot potato for a long time. And it's a fun game. The way that it works is Woods and Jay are going to go back and forth tossing the hot potato. The hot potato gets to leave their hand once I have guessed the movie based on the plot. If the hot potato has left their hands, they're good. As long as it's left their hand, they're good. First, we have to pick M1 Phil from downtown. Who do you want? Give me Jay. You got him. Yeah. And M1 Twizzle from La Mesa. You got Woods. Hang on, okay? All right. All right. Now, hopefully I will get these movies. And we have 60 seconds in order for you guys to be able to get these movie plots out. Are you guys ready? Yep. Movie in Charlestown about bank robbery. The town.

3:31:54This is about a wizard. Hermione. Dumbledore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harry Potter. Lestat. Interview with a vampire. This is a movie about a little boy that looks more like a little girl. Freaky Friday. No, he cries a lot. You saw this movie. A little boy that looks like a little girl. He sings. He's got the haircut that everybody around the world knows and loves. Of Oliver? No. Freaking, what is that? It's about his life story. You just recently saw it. I saw Apollo 18. No, about a little boy singer. Looks like a little girl. What the heck is that? Rock stars have seen it, and they all cried when they saw it. You cried. Oh, yeah. Damn it. Justin Bieber. We saw it in Phoenix. J.J. Abrams did it. Eight. Super 8. Yes. Yes. Super 8. Yes. Super 8. It left his hand. It left his hand. It left his hand. Oh, my God. Holy cow. Jay. Holy cow. You're a movie with the guy. You know, it looks like a little boy. That's how you describe it. Why don't you just point at our dart board? Oh, yeah. I could have. You know, Mike, it's like a... God, Mike. Not only you ugly, you stupid, man. Gosh, you crap out of me. God.

3:33:23How much more clear can I make? Where's my BB gun? Oh, hold on. It's BB gun time. Let's see. M1 Twizzle. Jay lost. And Woodsy won. So you're a winner. Hang on. Right. Good job, Woodsy. You got it. Hang on. All right. So it's BB time. Kids do not try this at home. Loser has to take a BB. Right eye. You're right eye dominant, Woods. Oh! I can hear it. You can see him buckle. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Coming out a lot harder than before. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow.

3:34:13570. He's like freaking out. And if I could. What was that? I don't know. Did you do that? No. I didn't do it. And I couldn't turn off that room. It's not the room. It's dad. I know. But that. Never mind. You can't just blame dad for everything. Yeah. Mom does stuff, too. That's true. Good cop, bad cop. It's crap dad. Yeah, that's right, crap dad. You should know all about it. If you haven't heard, this is a song J wrote for me. Mikey's much wide and he's never right. If he shows his face, it'll make you cry. I'm telling you just how I feel. It blows my mind. Limited sex appeal. Mikey, come on. You got to help your wife. You got to make it right. She's giving you to the count of three to change that poop, but she'll set you free. I'm telling you to watch them out. I know your game is what it's all about. When they say you've reached the limit, it has to be the truth.

3:35:37My friend, you're super lazy and you're eating lunch for two because Crap Dad, Crap Dad, come on. You know Crap Dad, you're bad, you know it. You know Crap Dad, you're bad, you know it. And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again, Crap Dad. Can you isolate just that one part? It says blow your minds. Sex appeal. Limited sex appeal. Blow your minds. Limited sex appeal. 570-1949 is our number. If you want to give us a call. Alright, it's time to do L.O. Barf. No.

3:36:40L.O. Barf is something new that L.O.B. is trying. And she's always trying out some new healthy thing. Last time it was algae. Hideous. It's real. Then we had some coconut oil. Yeah. Which Woods took a giant freaking spoonful of. Yeah, it was like, it looked like butter. It took a big old bite. Now, and I tried a little bit of it on toast. It wasn't bad. It tasted like coconut. But I will say this. That algae was the filthiest, one of the filthiest things I've ever had. Aloe gold. I've actually had aloe gold. No way. You have. Let me tell you. That product, I remember when that particular product called aloe gold from Aloe Life first came out. It was 1980, 81. Our neighbor sold it. And it was a big player in our neighbor's life. And they basically brought everything back to aloe. In other words, cancer. You could basically cure it if you'd had enough aloe in your life. But that stuff is supposed to be the remedy for everything. And it tastes like garbage. Hello.

3:38:02Are you going to try it? Yeah, I don't feel good. It might help you, Woods. Yeah. It might actually make you healthy. So here's what we'll do. Why don't we take a quick timeout. When we come back. Oh, wow. Woods is pouring. It looks like bourbon. Shots. We'll do shots. When we come back. Yeah, you guys can do some shots. I ain't doing that. Oh, come on. That's okay. Thank you. When we come back, though. We'll get to watch you guys do. Let's make some noise in here with our live studio audience. I want you to surrender. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features,

3:39:06and standard Uconnect touchscreen. You might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Now, get 0% APR financing or $2,000 cash allowance on 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated miles per gallon. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Live from Progressive. First caller. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I think you called the wrong number, but Progressive.com lets you compare our rates with our competitors. So there are other fish in the sea. Really? Yeah, you'll find someone. No, you can really compare rates at Progressive.com? Wow, you got over that quickly. Visit Progressive.com to compare rates and start saving today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Comparison rates not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive.

3:40:30Flo here, let's take another question. Hi, Flo. I saved a ton of money with Progressive's discounts. Great, but that's not really a question. Oh, you're right. I saved a ton of money with Progressive's discounts? Still not quite right, but you get the idea. Progressive makes it easy to save. Right. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Good morning. Welcome to McDonald's. First good thing I've heard all day. But it's only 7.30 a.m. I know, and I already whacked my head, broke my phone, and got a parking ticket. So I'm going to need to order quite a few things. That should make you feel better, sir. How about an order of sausage? Oh, and an order of bacon. Scrambled eggs. Three hot cakes. Well, hash browns for sure. Um, sir? Oh, I'm not done. But all of that is on the deluxe breakfast platter, and it's now just $3.99. Seriously? Set your mornings right with McDonald's deluxe breakfast platter. Three golden hot cakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, sausage, an English muffin, and more. All for just $3.99. The simple joy of every flavor of breakfast. Sorry you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

3:41:42Technically, I fell out of bed and the window. Breakfast served during breakfast hours only. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults and a kid's price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. To get your week running like clockwork, it's good to start with a plan. And the Vons Weekly Ad is a great place to start. Our fantastic deals make shopping so much easier. You'll find delicious meal ideas plus stock-up prices on home essentials all in your weekly Vons ad. Shop Vons today to get these Vons Club specials. Rancher's Reserve Beef Top Sirloin Steak is only $2.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Sweet red, green, or black seedless grapes are $0.88 a pound. And save big with our mix-and-match frozen food sale. Brands like Breyers Ice Cream, Totina's Pizza Rolls, and many more are buy one, get one of equal or lesser value-free. And it's easy to stay healthy this flu season when you get a flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary and you'll get 10% off your groceries. Get the deals and ideas all at Vons. Sounds like a plan. Vons, ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. No one can predict when an emergency will happen. How prepared are you? Do you have an emergency supply kit that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit?

3:43:08Do you know your route for an evacuation? Have a plan for you and your family. Are you prepared? If your answer is no, get prepared at sdge.com slash safety. sdge.com slash safety. You can't predict when something will happen. But you can be prepared. September still means summer in Southern California. That means more time with friends, more fun, more parties, and nothing makes a get-together legendary like the smooth taste of Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Serve it at your next party as an ice-cold shot or enjoy a fantastic Cuervo Silver Margarita and experience a taste so smooth it shatters expectations. Jose Cuervo Silver Tequila. Stay smooth. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Popular in 2011. Imported and bottled by Food Blind. Norwalk, Connecticut. Under licensed from the trademark of Jose Cuervo. What's your perfect cup of joe? Does it have a splash of French vanilla? Or is your secret high-voltage java straight up? Hey, how'd you know? With countless flavor options from cappuccinos to sweeteners, you can go wild and create exactly what you're secretly craving. Where's my cup? At a.m. p.m., when you buy three cups, you'll get the fourth on us. It's like f***ing. Have it all and then some. A.m. p.m.

3:44:20Too much good stuff. At participating stores for a limited time while supplies last. See store for details. Just when you thought it might not happen, football season is back at U31. North Park's number one bar and grill with the Sunday ticket. Every game on 20 big screen TVs. Feast on an award-winning burger or mind-blowing nachos while cheering for your team at U31. And FM 94.9 will be there for Sunday afternoon football at U31. college ball fans we have three dollar you call it every saturday 12 to 6 p.m that's right three dollars you call it every saturday at u31 your football headquarters website at u31bar.com today is the day it's toyota's final clearance now save thousands with zero percent financing on a new 2011 camry america's best-selling car get zero apr when you drive off in a new fuel-efficient corolla avalon or sienna There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Benza, Highlander, or Tundra. Today is the day to see your San Diego County Toyota dealer. We've got... Toyota's final clearance ends soon. Save thousands with 0% financing on seven of Toyota's most popular vehicles. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Excludes hybrid models.

3:45:43Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 10-3-11. What makes an auto loan great? Pacific Marine Credit Union has the answer. An amazing 2.5% loan rate for 72 months. Call 800-736-4500 or visit PMCU.com. Pacific Marine Credit Union. Open to everyone. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Woods. Don't lie to me, do you lie to girls, okay? Don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Live studio audience in here today. Mikey Show Live. Everybody's putting on...

3:47:09I picked up my hand sanitizer, so I can't use it again. Oh, no. Yeah, how do you do that? Woodsy's using the hand sanitizer, and we are about to make Woods better. Are we? Yeah, because you're going to try aloe gold. It's best ingested daily, but this will be your first dose. That's true. They did say that it's best to take it every single day. They say a lot, don't they? They do. I don't take it. every day. Woods, L.O.B. takes it when she remembers. Mm-hmm. But you're going to take a shot of it right now. It's aloe. Where's the bottle, by the way? Oh, I put it back in the fridge. Got to keep it cool. Oh. Do you want it? Would you like it? Nah, I just, I basically, I wanted to read from the bottle to tell you why people do take it. It comes from the aloe plant. And, but it's okay because Woods was holding that bottle. I don't want to get sick.

3:48:10It's supposed to be good for your digestion. It's supposed to help you absorb nutrients better. There you go. Same bits. We always hear for everything. For everything. Everything. Antioxidants. Yeah, it is. Paraben-free. Paraben-free. It helps boost your immune system. Good. There you go. Does everything. Yep. Thought my immune system was good, but we work at a daycare. Impenetrable. Go ahead and take a swig there. Oh, wow. You all right? What the hell is that? Put it right in the microphone. He just... He just... Put it right up in there. Down the hatch. Bottoms up. Bottoms up. Oh, God bless. No. Holy crap. Oh, that's bad, isn't it? It tastes what I would imagine pee to. Imagine. I salivated just watching him do it. Oh, that is gross, dude. It's gross. It is. It's tart. It's way tart. There goes Jay. I like it. Oh. Oh, wow. You know it's bad. If Jay don't like it. Wow. It's bitter, I think. It's bitter. Tart. It's way tart. It gets these things in the back of, like, my jaw to salivate. Oh, that's tart. It's like this sour grass you chewed on when you were a kid. Yeah. With pee on it. Yeah. Sour grass with pee. Wow. Yuck. Identical sour grass with pee. Did you do it, Chris? Did you hate it?

3:49:31Yeah, he hated it. How's your girlfriend, Perry? Is she good? No, gosh. It's not his girlfriend. Clearly. She's a friend. Is she? Yeah. Well, with you guys doing that, it's going to... Oh, okay. You guys aren't helping the cause. Gosh, I got excited for a second. Woods! What? Oh, my gosh. Last time we talked, they hadn't even kissed. Now they went all the way. No, they didn't. They did not. They haven't kissed yet. They went to a diving board factory. Chris, we had no idea. You should see a doctor for that. How dare you? Chris, you're talking about. My favorite. Sorry, Chris. Hey, they did go to a movie together, though. What did you see? Chris and Perry saw Cowboys and Aliens.

3:51:00A romantic film. Yes. He said he liked it. He liked it and Perry liked it too. She had to. Jay is just negative Nancy today. This is Jay for Jay's negative school of comedy. If you have a friend that's down, you know the best thing is to make him feel worse. By the way, she wanted to see it. It wasn't even Chris's idea. He went because she wanted to see it. I'll figure out a way and get him anyway. I'll still get him. I'll give you that one. Well, I'll call him a big P because he didn't even make the movie. Yeah. Did you make love yet? Of course not. Quitter. Quitter. Fizz me. Made love twice by now. Well, I already had a kid. Yeah. Be engaged. Well, I already had a kid. 570-1949 is our number.

3:51:58You know what I want to see is the remake of The Thing, which comes out October 16th. What Thing? It's very ambiguous. The Deal? Yes. Was this People? The Thing with the Deal? The Thing with the Deal. It comes out October 16th. It's the remake of John Carpenter's The Thing. When did the original come out? Well, John Carpenter's was a remake. John Carpenter's was a remake of one that came out in the 50s. And then he did it. in the 80s and now they're redoing it again. What is the thing? It's a monster that it imitates people. You could be it right now and we wouldn't know it. I bet the new version is going to be it. Anybody of note in it? No, but it looked good and it sounds like they have got To use all the old cool tricks from the old movie. But the John Carpenter one was really scary and cool and creepy. Won't you be scared? I can only do science fiction scary. Okay, you can't do like horror. No, but science fiction scary I'm alright with. Rebecca doesn't matter, she falls asleep. When I saw Apollo 18, it was as creepy as it can be. She was...

3:53:19In the same way. She does have three younger kids. She's allowed. She's technically at four. If you count me. When we were all at Disneyland together, we'd been there for 12 hours at one point and Mike and I were dying. She goes, this is a vacation for me. You guys don't understand. Walking around here sweating is a vacation. All right. Fair enough. It really was. Like she said that because there was not three. Yeah. It was like a day off on vacation. I was like, oh, man, puts things in perspective for me. Yeah. Hi, Hill. Hi. How are you? Great. What's new? What is new? Not a whole lot, except it is like fog city and cold. I hope it hasn't. Maybe it's already changed. Now we're not getting any summer back. Nap day. Good nap day. Second summer in a row that was just way too cool.

3:54:15Welcome to San Diego. Thank you. Good to be here. What do you got coming up, Hill? There's a couple good shows happening in town this weekend and next week. So I'm going to play some of the bands that are coming to town soon, talk about the shows. And then Desert Island Discs at noon. It is a mix, a combination that surprised me, but it is awesome. Nice. So that's at noon. There you go. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we will come back tomorrow morning and do this all over again at 6 o'clock. The Mikey shows up. Late. Yeah. Financial media station. We have a standing agreement with the corporate office. As long as they stay out of the music business, we'll be sure to stay out of the insurance business. Seems reasonable, right? FM 94.9. It's about the music.