The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/26/11
Monday, September 26, 2011
Chargers footballEric Weddle interceptionPhillip Rivers performanceCoaching decisionsStyle points vs winningChaz Bono costumeChicken Little metaphorBallin' name discussionGrocery store strikeMikey‑thon movie marathonName That Tune gameSmoking in movies
Mikey and Woodsy dissected the Chargers' narrow win over the Chiefs, praising Eric Weddle's interception while criticizing Phillip Rivers' quick snaps and coaching decisions. Woodsy revealed he would dress as Chaz Bono on a street corner after losing a bet, sparking a humorous misunderstanding about the "Chicken Little" comment. The show featured a recurring bit about the unusual name "Ballin'" after Jay's son was given that name, and promoted the upcoming Mikey‑thon movie marathon. Other segments included a Name That Tune trivia showdown, a notice that a grocery store strike was averted, and a lively debate about smoking in movies and its impact on youth.
What happened, in order
Chargers win shock
Mikey and Woodsy express disbelief at the Chargers' narrow win over the Chiefs, highlighting Eric Weddle's game‑ending interception as the key play.
Host intro and Chaz Bono bet
Mikey introduces himself, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien and Jay, revealing that Woodsy will dress as Chaz Bono on a street corner after losing a bet.
Chicken Little misunderstanding
Mikey and Woodsy clear up a miscommunication about the Chargers victory, with Mikey thinking Woodsy’s “Chicken Little” comment was sarcastic when it actually meant the win looked sloppy.
Defensive heroics
The crew praises Eric Weddle’s interception in the final minute that prevented a Chargers loss to the Chiefs, calling it a defensive save.
Coaching critique
Mikey criticizes Phillip Rivers for snapping the ball quickly instead of running the clock, labeling it a coaching issue that cost the Chargers a chance to seal the game.
Ballin' name bit
Joseph R. Isbell brings up the unusual name “Ballin’” after his son was given that name, sparking a humorous discussion about weird baby names.
Grocery strike averted
The hosts announce that a threatened grocery store strike has been called off, relieving listeners who feared shortages.
Mikey‑thon movie marathon
Mikey promotes the upcoming 28‑hour Mikey‑thon featuring Pretty in Pink and Cobra to raise money for Rady Children’s Hospital.
NFL trivia showdown
Jay and Lauren O’Brien face off in an NFL trivia game, with Lauren dominating the questions and winning most rounds.
Smoking in movies debate
The hosts argue whether smoking should be banned from movies, discussing its influence on youth and sharing personal anecdotes about smoking cues.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienJayChrisElla B.Joseph R. IsbellTariq SalahiMichelle SalahiNeil SeanMcHale SalahiBarack ObamaVince VaughnCameron Diaz
38,181 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
on the pass play. Castle throwing into a crowd and it's intercepted. Picked off Eric Weddle at the bottom of that pile for San Diego. It is a win. However tempered. Woodsy, I was in shock. I'm in shock. I know. We're both in shock. We'll tell you what we mean. Woodsy was texting me about the win and all that and what he thought about it. And we will discuss here momentarily. Welcome to the Mikey Show Monday morning and ready to go. Your calls. 570-1949 is the number. And if you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com.
We play the Chargers song after a victory. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years of age. Woodsy's our sports guy. He is 36 years of age. And we'll be dressing as Chaz Bono this morning at 7.30 on the corner of Friars and Frazee, holding a giant sandwich board, which we will read to you in just a moment. Lauren O'Brien is a stand-up comedian, good-looking blonde, and resident. assistant producer on The Mikey Show. Jay is our executive producer. He's 48 years of age and wearing a Coors Original t-shirt today. And our phone screener is Chris. That's Croft. So don't forget, Mikey Thon, October 6th and 7th. It's right around the corner. Make plans. Get the day off. The movies we're going to be watching are Pretty in Pink and Cobra. Is that correct?
That's correct. Yeah, it is. There you go. And 7.30, you want to see Woods dressed as Chaz Bono because he lost a bet. You could see it at the corner of Friars and Prazee right off the 163 in Mission Valley, which is very close to our studios. This morning at 7.30, he'll be out there. And if you want to take pictures with your cell phone or your camera, then that's the place to do it. Woods and I had a disconnect. So much so that I completely misunderstood. He wrote me an email and he said, hey, when we talk about the Chargers this morning, we ought to call it the Chicken Little report. And I had, now I've heard Chicken Little a million times, but I had to go to Wikipedia to look at what Chicken Little was because I've heard it a million times, but I didn't remember what Chicken Little was famous for.
And it was that the sky is falling. Now, I took Woods' comment to be sarcastic. And what I thought he was saying was like that everybody was celebrating this victory and that they were like, yay, Chargers won. And that Woods was like, easy. You're supposed to win that game, blah, blah, blah. And what Woods was actually saying was what I feel, which is what... a lot of people feel, and that is, yeah, it's a win, but it looked like garbage. That's not what I'm saying. Oh, it wasn't? Well, then we did misunderstand. No, I'm saying... We are on board. No, I'm saying that a win is a win, and I'm happy about it. Oh, okay. You're saying that, hey, listen, we're lucky to win. Well, here's the deal. I'll say a win is a win, and of course I'll take... Who won't take a win? Right. But what I am saying is...
You know, we were very fortunate that our defense made a play. Eric Weddle, we played it for you. That our defense made a play at the end of the game. Ella B., did you see the game? I did. Okay. So the Chargers going into this game were Woods' like, you can count on it. Put it on the board. Yes. Like, the Chargers are going to win this game. And I felt that way, too. I think all of America felt that way. This is a banged up, beat up. ugly-looking Chiefs team. And the Chargers are the Chargers. They're really good. They should go in at home and just slaughter these guys. And not only did they not slaughter them, they darn near lost the game. And had it not been for Eric Weddle picking that ball off in the final minute of the game, they could have gone down and tied the game up and at the very least sent this into overtime.
And I was texting Woods going, and if you saw the game, you'll know what I'm talking about. All the Chargers needed to do was get a first down. First down, the game's over. And they're running these stupid plays. They just look dumb. But then, instead of running the clock down, Phillip Rivers comes up to the line of scrimmage. And instantly they snap the ball. Instead of running out 20 seconds on the clock, which would have left the Chiefs with about a minute, which I say to Woods, to me, that's a coaching issue. This is what coaches do on the sideline with their quarterback. You'll see Bill Bilicek on the sideline, and he's got his hand kind of up towards his mouth, and they'll have him mic'd up, and you'll get to hear sometimes when they do specials, and he'll say to Tom Brady, just run out the clock here, make sure they don't hike the ball right away, run out the clock, blah, blah, blah. That's what a coach does. He's telling me, let's do this, let's do this. Phillip goes in there, instantly snaps the ball, doesn't make the first down. And I'm like, oh, are you kidding me? I was saying Chicken Little because I read a lot on Facebook. That's how I kind of get a gauge on how people are feeling.
It's a great way to gauge how people are feeling because everyone's like, stupid Chargers, we almost lost. We almost lost. And I'm like, my deal was, listen, this ain't college football, okay? You don't need style points to win. You don't need style points to take you up or down. Now, if Alabama goes and plays Princeton and they win by one, they're going to fall. Well, I get it. I get it. I understand. But I want to give you a cultural analogy here. And people, please, Charger fans, call 570-1949. I want to give you just a paradigm shift culturally here, okay? Go back to 2004 when Marty was still the head coach, okay? And it was right about that time that we started to have one dynamite-looking team. I mean, a good football team. A championship-looking football team. And Marty gets us into the playoffs. We're about to beat the Jets. And poor, what's that kicker's name now? Nick Hating. Nick Hating hooks it. Yeah. In his rookie season. Yep. He hooks it. I saw that live. Yeah, you were there. I was there. He had made everything. Yeah, he made everything. He's a rookie. Yep. And we went, oh, poor guy. Just lost the game for the – he must feel terrible. And we all felt bad because there it is in the playoffs. And Marty gets fired. And I think part of the reason Marty gets fired is because these chargers are so good, we cannot continue to just, you know.
Get into the playoffs and then that's it. Right. So it's announced that A.J. Smith has hired Norv Turner. And some people were scratching their heads going, you know, Norv has never won anything. But then the opposition said to you, yeah, but he didn't really have very good teams in Washington and Oakland. He didn't have very good teams. Hell of a coordinator. Yeah. But now he's going to have it when he was a head coach in Washington and in Oakland. Right. And the people that said that anybody gave any opposition to him being the head coach here in San Diego, people would go, easy. He didn't have very good teams in Washington and in Oakland. Now he's got a good team. And we proceeded to limp into the playoffs or not make the playoffs or lose in the playoffs with a freaking Ferrari. Right. Okay? Now, yesterday I watched the Bills. who, by the way, have our old assistant GM, Buddy Nix, as their new GM, I watched the Bills kick Tom Brady's face in the dirt. And every time Tom Brady, and he did, marched down the field and scored three touchdowns on them, they kept coming back. What's the thing from Goodfellas? We'll keep, or Casino, we'll keep coming back. You bring a knife, we'll bring a gun.
That was the attitude of Buffalo yesterday. There was no dumb plays going on. They were taking it to the New England Patriots, picking off Tom Brady twice. You see Tom Brady on the sideline. You're not used to this. Like, has a look on his face like, oh, no. Like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Like, this is not going very good. And you get to the end of the game, and they... through smart gameplay, run the clock down. They run the clock down to two seconds, kick a field goal, and win the game. Smart clockwork. All of that stuff. And you know where it's coming from? Head coach. Yes. Now, all I think that the Charger fans are trying to say is, yes, it's a W. But what about, that was against the Chiefs. What about when we play New England? They wanted a blowout. And that's what people were saying. We should have beat this team by 40. Great. Listen, it's the NFL. Style points don't matter. Now, fast forward the tape to two weeks from now. Let's say the Chargers are at 5-1. Are you really going to sit here and go, God dang, I can't believe we let the Chiefs almost beat us. No, you're going to go, we're sitting here at 5-1. Those guys won the division last year. It's smash mouth football every Sunday, no matter who's on the field or who's not on the field. They came away with a win.
And that's all that matters. Phillip Rivers has not been Phillip Rivers this year. He has six picks in three games. And I agree with you. Now, Jay, I'm going to even give this analogy to Jay because Jay could care less about NFL football. True. 570-1949 if you have an opinion about the Chargers. But I want to give you this analogy. Do you have a kid, Jay, who is an overachiever, capable, and does extremely well? Yes. Okay. So does Bill Belichick. Okay? Bill Belichick has that too. He has an overachieving team that goes out there and punishes other teams week in and week out. And that's what he's supposed to do because he's your good kid that's just like, every time, man, straight A's, going to Harvard, I just, boy, he's an overachiever. Then you have the San Diego Chargers who are essentially the same kid. They're the same kid.
But that kid wants to sit around and watch Nintendo and play Nintendo. That kid, you got to be like, really? With the C? But a win is an A. A win is an A. I don't score yesterday's game as an A. I don't score it as an A, but at the end of the day, at the end of the year, you're not going to care that they barely beat them. All you're going to care is that they beat them. Here's when we're going to care. We're going to care when our kid comes up against. Real competition. I get it. And they played against real competition last week and could have won that game and didn't. So, I mean, at the end of the day, a W is a W. Now you move on, you go beat Miami. And that's it. Then they should. Then they should. We don't have to beat them by 50. Just beat them. You don't need to beat them by 50. Let's have sloppy play. Doesn't matter. Let's go out there, let's have sloppy play, and then win the game. Okay, fine. I'll take the win. But, dude, I'm just telling you, it's an underachieving kid that gets me. For now. For now it is. You can't live in the past. You can't live in the past. No, since Norv has been here, this is what happens. You can't live in the past. M1 LA Kings fan from San Diego. All right, well, I'm with Wood. Overall, man, a win is way phenomenal.
Early in the third quarter. Yeah, no first downs in the first half for the Chiefs. None. And Rivers, again, he hasn't been playing his best like last couple years, but he'll set that up. He's Phillip Rivers. He's one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL. And like Woods was saying, okay, if I was a huge Kansas City fan of last year's league game against the Chargers, New England did not play so great either. I mean, technically, San Diego, you know, Patriots weren't a better team that game. San Diego just shot them. Those are good points. I've got to admit, those are real solid points, man. I hope this team improves. There is a fundamental difference between college football and pro football. Fundamental. And again, style points in college matter. They do. They say they don't, but they do matter.
If you barely beat somebody that you should cream, you're going to suffer in the rankings, not in the pros, man. At the end of the day, you look at what's your overall record and what's your division record. Right now, we are 1-0 in our division. Suck it. That's it. I got you. And I hear you. I just want this team to not look so sloppy. Everybody does. Everybody wanted a 40-point blowout. They're capable. There's no question. There's no question they have the firepower. And then here's the other part that makes me nuts. I watch a team like the Patriots or like the Saints, who just have all this ability, right? Saints, by the way, I don't even believe have as much talent as we do. But they do go out there and blow teams out. And they do go out there and do what they're supposed to do. They don't look like they don't know what's going on. And that scares me because I'm like, oh, we don't know. Fundamentally, it could be a coaching issue. And, you know, that'll shake itself out. We'll see that shake out in the next few weeks. All I know is I saw W and I said, good. Yeah, me too. I'm happy. 2-1, 1-0 in the division. Don't know if you've heard about this. You've probably seen it. Take a listen to this morning on NBC7.
And this story. Facebook may start charging users for membership, or at least that's what the latest rumor is. The rumor is gaining traction due to a chain message hoax spreading virally, although the company promises it's free and always will be. Last week, the social networking site introduced new changes, including timeline profiles and updated homepage. A few versions of the chain message have spread through status updates, saying, quote, This is official. Facebook will start charging due to the new profile changes. Pass this message on. If not, your account will be deleted if you do not pay. Now, how did people, I just, I saw that and I thought, now how did. Saw it a bunch. Yeah. As soon as you see that it says copy this and pass it on, do you really think that's the way Facebook would operate? Yeah. Wouldn't they post it at the top of the page? Hey, you got 30 free days and that's it. No, the way they're going to operate is by telling people to copy and paste. Send it on. Ah, well, if you do this, you get it for free. That's right. Oh, man. Let's see. M1 Kyle from Chula Vista. Good. Comment on the game. I mean, I've been a fan for my whole life. And I mean, I think San Diego is just getting frustrated.
Yeah, I think you're right. Yep. I think you're right. Thank you for the call. I see that too. And I saw when the Patriots played the Chargers, I saw Tom Brady standing like a statue in the pocket, just throwing strikes. And any quarterback, any NFL quarterback, given time, can pick a team apart. Period. It's the most important thing. By the way, Patriots would have won yesterday if Ocho hadn't dropped that touchdown. I mean, a bomb. I mean, a bomb. It was probably like 40 yards, and it was right into his hands. Perfectly. Tom Brady, right into it. It couldn't have been thrown more perfectly. He puts his hands out, and Tom Brady delivers it.
Right into his gentle, soft, beautifully gloved hands. And he just drops it. Oh, boy. As if to say, I don't want you, football. I'd rather you not be in my hands. You're very hot. And you're going to scald me. I'd like to see if I can go the entire season without scoring a touchdown for my friend Woods that drafted me in the eighth round on his fantasy team. Oh, yeah. Yet rests me on the bench every week. Well, it's a good thing you did. I'll tell you, man. Tom Brady must have thought, oh, how dare you? How dare you, Ocho? Ocho Cinco is a head case right now. He's a walking bit. Yeah. How dare you be Ocho and then drop that? You can be Ocho as long as you catch him. In the NFL, it's been proven. You can do anything you want to do. You can murder dogs. You can murder people. You can beat your wife. As long as you can play, you're going to play. That is a true story. That is a true statement. It is. Catch the ball, dummy. Oh, man. What a day yesterday. It was such a great day of NFL football. It was. Oh, man. What a day. I have to stop ordering pizza on Sundays. That's part of the problem. That is part of the problem. What problem? L-O-B. Yeah. Elaborate. You mean are you jinxing the Chargers or something? That's it. That's it. You're fat. Oh, wait. No. I was referring.
To my figure. Oh, somebody's got a frowny face. You should get one cheat day, Mike. Not seven. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the mundus. Well, when we start out, you know, I'm just saying I acknowledge it. I need to stop with the pizzas. It's okay if you don't have pizzas six other days a week. Maybe share the pizzas with other people in the house. I got a thin crust, you know, because I'm watching my figure. Oh. Watching my figure. So I got a thin crust pizza. Just eat more slices of the thin crust. What'd you get on it? Oh, were you there? What did I get on it? It was mostly Hawaiian. And then I... TV special. And then I put some vegetables on it because I'm watching my... Oh, yeah. I put some mushrooms because, hello, I'm watching my figure. Got to eat your vegetables. So I got to have some vegetables. I had some greens. Some greens. Some bell pepper on there. Oh, yeah. So that's good. That's good. It's like a salad, basically. Yeah. Just with loads of cheese and crust and oil. It's like a salad with fat, oil, and cheese in it. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not going to put pepperoni.
What am I, a pig? I'm not a pig. No pepperoni on there. I see nothing wrong with pizza once a week as long as, you know, you do another stuff the rest of the week. I walk. He says it with such venom. You silly sausage. He says that word walk so hard K. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. As long as you walk. Walk. Fat Mac. Fat Mac. There's a walk, Fat Mac. Did my Tommy Bahama photo shoot over the weekend? Did Woods show up? Yes, he did. Weird. Like every other Saturday. Yeah, he did. And he got to see it. I saw it, and it is going to be a delight for our listeners. A delight. Didn't enjoy a second of that. No, I didn't, Woods. No, I'm telling you the truth. I didn't enjoy. Why?
Because I was wearing a freaking Tommy Bahama shirt. And mortified. Mortified. I go, you're living it out. You're living it out. You're living the dream is what you said to me. I'm living the dream right now. You know, I get made fun of. I don't even wear Tommy Bahama. But it's like a joke. It's a running joke. Oh, Mike, where's Tommy Bahama? But I don't. And then, so for charity, I put on a Tommy Bahama style shirt. and took a picture behind a drape of the same fabric. Yes. Just went to your closet and just picked one out. Yep. Grabbed your drapes off of the curtain rod. Had toucans on it. Perfect. Your palm tree one was just dirty. Soiled. Oh, I think there's palm trees on it, too. Yeah, that was the other. The other one was palm trees. We did a toucan theme and a palm tree. Oh, gosh. And they are outstanding. They had a little tiki torch in one. It was great. It was the opposite of great. It sounds great to me. It was so great. I also joined Netflix. No applause. No applause? Why did you do that? Because I saw, L.O.B., that you can watch it on your iPad. That you can watch it on your iPad. Okay. And my phone. You can't do that with the other stuff? What other stuff? What other stuff? Don't you have Apple TV? Yeah. You can't watch that on your iPad? Apple TV? Yeah, you can.
But it's more expensive. It's more expensive. I'd say you're both. Why would you want to watch on your iPad instead of your giant TV? I can. I can do that. I can do that. I just have to have Ian hook it up. Ian's my audio video guy. Hi, Ian. He's the best. Yep. Watched maybe four or five documentaries this weekend. Off of Netflix. Yeah, one on the Aryan Brotherhood, the other one on Lockdown. I've seen that. Watched a movie about the making of horror films. Watched a documentary on dreams and what they mean. And also, what occurs, a Nova special from PBS, what occurs at the moment of death. Yep, seen that one too. They're great. You'll run out. Trust me, I've seen all those.
So you never left the house is what you're saying. Oh, gosh. Don't you have three kids, Mike? Did you want to play with them? How'd the exercise go this weekend? Hey, crap dad. Did you exercise? Play with the kids at all? Did you even look at Ryan in the face? Do you know what Ryan called me this weekend? I'm not kidding. Uncle Woods. Stranger. Mike. Stranger. Mike. Hey, there's that guy Mike. Mike, where's dad? He said, Hi, Mike. And Rebecca goes, how does he even know that? Yeah. Because nobody calls me Mike. She does, doesn't she? No, she calls me babe. Nobody calls me Mike. No. Your Hungarian nanny? No, Nita doesn't do it. She just says, hi. You know, she doesn't go. Oh, no. She does occasionally say, hello, Mike. Hello, Mike. Hello, Mike. But it was very unusual that he said, hi, Mike. That's great.
What did you say back? I will tell you exactly what I said back to him. Oh. When we come back. Oh, gosh. Sorry. Sorry, Woods. Don't. Gosh. Darn. Oh. Oh. Sorry. I'm sorry. 570-1949. Hello, Mike. Hello, Mike. I'll tell you what I said. If you want to play Name That Tune, call us now. 570-1949. Let's play Name That Tune. And what's the... The prize is a four-pack of tickets to the 2011 Scream Zone at the Del Mar Fairgrounds starting September 30th. What's the theme? Oh, it's opera. Okay. I'm singing opera. Normal pop song. Jay is singing pop songs in opera. Yes. Now, we're going to do Name That Tune. Call us right now. 570-1949. And you're going to pick me or Woods or L.O.B.
Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up! More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Bex. October 22nd, 30th and University. Featuring Everest. The Soft Pack, Dead Feather Moon, The Style Tones, Low Volts, and Heavy Gilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for $15. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why. This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular, quality, brand-name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahicum, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range.
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How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four. Slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults in at kids price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy once again for Dave and Busters. I need you to join me tonight, September 26th. It's the Cowboys, it's the Redskins, it's Monday Night Football, 430 to 630. Tonight, Monday Night Football. I'm giving a ton of stuff away, including...
Chargers tickets for next week. So come on out here to Dave and Buster's 2931 Camino del Rio North. Mom, I want to be a pilot. Is it tough? It's not easy. You could do it. Study hard. Go to a good school. Never skip your math homework. Piece of cake. Oh, yeah? But can you finish those carrots for your pilot's vision? I'd rather do my math homework. Thought so. There's a moment when an activity becomes an accomplishment, and when that moment comes for your child, you want to be ready. The ScholarShare Plan, California's official 529 plan, can help your kids reach their potential. It's a careful, consistently maintained college savings program, and your earnings are federal and California state income tax-free when used for qualified higher education expenses. For more information, visit ScholarShare.com or call 800-544-5248. To learn more about the ScholarShare College Savings Plan and its investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses, please contact Fidelity for a fact kit. Read it carefully. The ScholarShare College Savings Plan is offered by the ScholarShare Investments. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego.
This report is brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. You'll get a lifetime membership in Good Hands Roadside Assistance absolutely free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent. Well, we've got a lot of activity for this early in the morning. A sick alert here on the 52 westbound before the 15. That left lane's blocked. You have a backup to Mission Gorge Road. It's a pickup truck on its side, the number one lane. You've got some reduced visibility due to also due to patchy fog. I'll get it all out there. It's early. 56 westbound after Camino del Sur, a grass fire. It's reports of a possible actual brush fire here. And the 15 southbound before Rancho Bernardo Road. We've got big pieces of metal in the middle of lanes. This report also brought to you by the Chargers. Hey, Chargers fans, bold up. The Chargers take on the Dolphins on Sunday, October 2nd. For tickets, log on to chargers.com. You could call them 1-800-745-3000. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like. And Jake. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. When I had my heart, it was not what you wanted.
I want to make a documentary about meth addicted truck drivers and what the life is like. And I want to play this song in the opening so the screen will be black. And then all of a sudden you see some guy like fighting with his wife in front of the house. He's like, I'll deal with it when I get back. Screen goes black. I got to run. I got to make. Next shot. Dusk. And the truck going... Next scene is a bathroom that looks like it's somewhere in Munich. And it's just disgusting. I would watch that documentary. Weird. I love documentaries. I love meth, so... Oh, wow. Uh-oh. That's not true. He likes it. He doesn't love it. Yeah, he doesn't love it. The love-hate. Really. He is kidding.
Word of the day is pump. So sometime between now and 10, I will say the word pump, and you've got to be caller number nine. I'll give you a pair of tickets to see Bush and Filter and Chevelle at 4th and B. It's an adult show, 21 and up. And I'll also give you dinner for two at La Jolla Shores Restaurant. It's a nice prize. You're a seven-year-old. I know. I've always known that. Pump. Well, I haven't always known that. I've known that for a year and a half. Let's see. Woods will be dressing as Chaz Bono at 7.30 and will be on the corner of Friars and Frazee. Just like every other day. Not really. And the reason is because he lost a bet. I do not believe that Woods even resembles Chaz Bono. Don't you? I don't. Don't you? No, Woods, I don't. Oh, gosh. They have a similar haircut. And jowline. Oh, my gosh. What's a jow? What's a jow line? These are your jowls right here. What's a jow line? You know what they are. Jay loves to say. Look at that look on Jay's face. Jay's got his head up, and he's got his eyes kind of slanted, and his jaw just kind of hanging over. He just loves it. He loves it so much. Now.
Originally, this is all we said that the sign was going to say. Hi, I'm Chaz Bono from Dancing with the Stars. Vote for me. Jay sends me what he, he sends it for approval. He's like, this is what I have for the sandwich board that Woods is going to be holding. Just need your approval. And it says, did you know what it said? It says. Hi, I'm Chaz Bono from Dancing with the Stars. Vote for me at 570-1949. And what did it say next? I gained weight. Ask me how. Exclamation, exclamation, exclamation. I'm like, where did that come from? Like, he just wants to make it as cruel. I wrote him out. I'm like, Jay, I think he's getting it enough.
First of all, Jay made him shave. Jay's our producer. He made Woods shave the Color Me Bad. A chin strap. Chin strap beard like Chaz Bono. My wife could not even look at me last night. She goes, just get away from me. It's hideous. Because she or he doesn't have. The stache. He can't grow the stache. And I had a full-on Ron Burgundy stache last night. Shaved that, and it's a full-on Chaz beard. Yeah, it is. It is. It is very nice. It's identical. It's identical. Fatty. Jay's also making him wear khakis, which, by the way, Jay knew full well how long to make them. purposefully made them kind of short. They're 34 30s. I haven't worn 30s since 8th grade, dude. 30s! Oh my gosh. They come up to my mid-shin. And they don't fit around the waist either. Weird. Perfect. Gosh darn it. I physically could end up with those khakis around my ankles on that street corner. Because I can't button them. Wouldn't be the first time.
Yes, it would. It would be the first time. It would be the first time. Okay. Maybe not the last time. Right. But definitely the first time. Definitely the first. Gosh, I bet he has been sitting in his house. I can't wait for Monday. Can't wait. Can't wait. Embarrassed fatty. Disgusting. Cost me 50 grand. Went on Wipeout with that Lardo. It cost me 50 grand. It cost me 50 grand. I'll cost you your pride. Your dignity? I'll take it all. I'll rob you your dignity. What's your dignity worth, Tubbs? Every last fat ounce of pride. Oh, wow. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Who do you want for Name That Tune? Oh, boy. I want Woody. There you go. Hang in the line. He's a married man. M1 Sponger from Escondido. Who do you want? L-O-B, please. L-O-B. I'm not a married woman. And M1 Mick from El Cajon, you've got me, and I apologize. Hang on the line? Let's see. Okay, so name that tune. Opera version. Opera version. Sung by Jay. And I apologize in advance. Are we even going to try the buzzers? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to sit down then. Woods struggles to not reference these buzzers.
At some point, he will go, reset! He forgets to reset it! Guy's a haste seat back there. All right, now we use these buzzers, and as soon as we hear the song and we recognize it, we buzz in. All right, here we go. Here we go. Pop song sung in opera by Jay. Yes, I've been black, but when I come back, you'll know, know, know. I got that. Woods. Rehab. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was rehab. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Here we go. You tell me that you need, then you go and cut me down. But where? Woods. Woods. That's One Republic. Wow. Nice work. Nice fever. Oh, man. Yeah, it is a little effeminate. Here we go. Painted faces fill the pages. Woods. It's Kings of Leon. Are you guys playing this game? I am trying. It's really hard to get past whatever you're doing. I know it. It's opera. Which is not opera. It is. It's like a Muppet. It's like Animal is on the drum set just singing away. Here we go.
Oh, my. Lauren. Owl City. That's great, L.O.V. I cannot think of the name. Owl City. Fireflies. Fireflies. That's a great song. And Jay really got us with that one because the guy sings right. And Jay went low. He went the opposite way. He went the opposite way. Here we go. Your sweet moonbeam. The smell of you and every single dream. Oh, there's your throat. I knew we collided. You're the one I decided. No! Woods. Train. Dang it. How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you decipher that? I heard Hey Soul Sister. You did? Now I know why Tom Tom tunes is so hard. It's so hard. Wow. Here we go.
I'm talking pedicures on our toes, toes, toes. Trying on our clothes, clothes. Lauren. Kesha. Nice. I would have got that wrong. Who did you think it was? Katy Perry. Yeah, I did too. All right, here we go. Sipping gin and juice, laying on. I can't tell. Lauren. Snoop Dogg. Good job. What? I knew it. Keep going. Sipping gin and juice, laying on. Katy Perry. Oh, yeah, she says it in that. I don't even know what it is. Is it California? California Girl. With Snoop Dogg. Dang it. She's with Snoop Dogg in that song. He's featured. Yes. B.S. Here we go. Wow. I've been alone with you inside my. Woods, Lionel Richie. Oh, how do you do that? As soon as you say it, I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, but when I hear it, I'm like, I have no idea. Dang, that was good. Here we go. Woods. That is... Oh, God bless. Three, two, one. Shoot! Son of a... Keep going. Here we go. Damn it. I know it. Who? Lauren. Lauren. John Lennon. Yep. What was it? Imagine. Really? Yes! Gosh, that's good. You're still dominating. That is good. Mikey, zero. Lauren, two. Woods, five. Oh, my gosh. All right. Here we go. Reset. Boy, you got me blinded. Oh, pretty baby. That's nothing that I wouldn't do. Mikey. Katy Perry. Eventually, it has to work. Not the way I planned it.
Show me how you want it to be. Tell me, baby, because I know what I got. My loneliness is killing me. Lauren. Britney Spears. It's not opera. What song? Hit me, baby. Hit me, baby, one more time. I got it. Oh, you got it? Peace. Reset. All right. There's three remaining. Mikey, negative one. Lauren, three. Woods, five. So this next one is a two-pointer. Who will dance on the floor in the rock? Oh. Michael Jackson. Dang it. That's got to be it. Is that it? Yeah. Dang it. Woodsy, what was the final on that? Woods, seven. Lauren, three. Mikey, negative one. Oh. My gosh. That was not up. I get him. That was world domination. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Woods dominated for you. Congratulations. Hang on the line. That was a whole new level of good. Oh, my gosh. I had negative one on that. Katy Perry. Katy Perry. Katy Perry. Sometimes the answer is not Katy Perry. That's true. Katy Perry. No, she's always the answer. Katy Perry.
Kate Perry. Kate Perry. Kate Perry. That's Kate Perry. Kate Perry. Sweetberry wine. Sweetberry wine. Sweetberry wine. It's the only one I get. Yeah. Oh, that's great. It's so funny. You turkey. You like the actor. Yes. He's great. He's brilliant. That's John C. Reilly in Tim and Eric. Awesome job. Great show. Don't mean to. Don't mean to rabbit trail us, but this just popped into my head and it's pretty good. It's a doozy. As soon as I say this and Woods and L.O.B. remember it, they will be happy. Happiness will stream through your body as if somebody has tied a rope around your arm and injected you with happiness and then released the rope. And you go, oh. Do you guys remember last week when...
Joseph R. Isbell, our producer, came to our meeting with an idea because he had just read stats about names. Oh, yes. Odd names. Oh, I forgot, too. I was supposed to tell you what I said to my son, Ryan. When he called you Mike. When he called me Mike. What did I say to Ryan, my son, who's two years old, when he said, hi, Mike? I said, and I quote, no, Ry, I'm daddy. And he said, are you? No, you're not. No, you're not. Hey, Mike, where's mom? I need my diaper changed. Where's my mom? Where's my mom? Well, that's mommy. That's my wife. You're my son. Am I? Yes, I'm your daddy. You call me daddy. You shouldn't call me Mike. Allegedly.
No, I am. Allegedly. You're saying that because Jay likes to infer that you don't see me often. But the truth of the matter is you do. You see me every day and I actually play with you daily. Well, you play with his twin brother. You play with Luke. I play with the both of you. Anywho. So Jay found this list. And the list was of a bunch of, you know, some of the stranger names that children had been named in America. Yes. And one of the names was Ballin'. I'm sorry. I thought you said Ballin'. I did. Ballin'. He did. Now, okay. Now, here's the thing. Somewhere in the country, probably more urban areas, there were some people that named their child Ballin'. Ballin'. Ballin'. B-A-L-L-I-N. Man, the black folks love me. I love black folks because I'm black. Now. Oh, wow.
He said, what if we ask M1s if they've named their kid that? And we all looked at Jay, and I said, hmm. But Jay, don't you think that that is from more urban areas and that maybe our listeners haven't named their kid Ballin? Right. And Jay goes, no. He goes, you know that there's going to be somebody walking in to a room and be like, hey. Anybody seen Ballin'? That was his pitch to us. Has anybody seen Ballin'? Has anybody seen Ballin'? Has anybody seen Ballin'? This morning, L.O.B. randomly said to me, she goes, and I go, what, L.O.B.? And she goes, I said, has anyone seen Ballin'? And I laughed violently. When he said, has anybody seen Ballin', these guys will tell you, I laughed so hard. First of all, I thought I was going to cramp.
Well, first we got silent. I had to get up. I had to get up. First we were silent. We were dead silent. All of us looked in different directions. But when it hit me, I laughed and I had to get up because it was hurting. I was laughing so hard. And I was like, yeah. And then he, oh, I forgot a really, really special part. He said, yeah, Mike, let's say somebody wasn't thinking and they... Like, they weren't thinking and they named their kid Ballin'. And then, like, imagine when they're four and they walk into a room and they're like, anybody seen Ballin'? And I go, yes. We weren't thinking. We screwed up. We messed up, okay? It's on us. I'm sorry. We screwed up. She wanted Cynthia. I wanted Ballin'. Yep. She wanted Cynthia. I wanted Cody. And we settled on Ballin'. Ballin'. We messed up. Ballin'. He goes, you know, like if you're not thinking and you just like do it and you name him that. And we're like, no, we don't understand. No one doesn't. People make mistakes. He's not naming their kids. Yeah. Imagine this part, though. This is the kicker. Then he's like four or five. Someone walks into the room, says, has anybody seen Ballin? I haven't seen him. I haven't seen Ballin about four hours. Don't you get it?
No, we don't. We don't get it at all. Why is Balan lost? Stop smoking marijuana cigarettes when you're doing your ideas. I haven't seen him, Jay. I've never met him. You know, in fact, I've never heard of him. Hey, isn't he your son that you accidentally named Balan? Balan. It was a mistake. You were going to name him Bob, but you accidentally named him Balan. We thought Balan would be cool. And then the next day we were like, oh, crap. It's actually a terrible name. We changed our minds. Well, he was born and the nurses said, how do you feel? And we were like, Ballin. Ballin. It's just kind of stuck. It's not a nickname. It's his real name. Ballin. Ballin. That's your boy, Jay Isbell. That's your boy, Jay Isbell. Holy crap. That's your boy. That's your boy. That is. He's not my boy. I love Ballin. He's a good guy. Who's seen Ballin? I think about it all the time. I've thought about it for a week. You thought about Ballin? Yeah. Hello? Hey, sorry to bother you guys. This is your wife, right? Yeah, hi. Hi, guys. Sorry to bother you. I know it's late. Are you selling something? No, no. I'm actually looking for my son. Oh, who's your son? Well, has anyone seen Ballin'? Excuse me? Pardon me? Is that a movie? Are you playing a joke, sir? No, I'm looking for my son, Ballin'. Hello? Hello?
I'm being serious. Has anyone seen Ballin? It's late, sir. We're trying to watch Treme on HBO. It's our favorite show. You know what that is. Listen, just give me five seconds to explain. What, dude? Five seconds to explain. Fine. Five seconds. Go. It was a mistake. We accidentally named him Ballin. What? We did. We made a mistake. Yes, we made a mistake. I'll admit it. Get. I beg you. I'm getting my pistol. Shut it. Go get my pistol. Okay, got it. This guy off my front porch. One more time, dude. I'm going to shoot you. Cock it back. I'm going to shoot you. I appeal to the softest part of your nature. There's no ball in here. There's no ball in anywhere. Don't be an idiot. Aren't you a little old for pranks, sir? I am telling you the truth. Are you? I plead with you to believe me. My wife and I accidentally named our child Ballin'. How dare you? Get out of here. Get out of here, yeah. You better run. Creep. Ballin'.
Ballin'. Yeah, don't y'all get it? It's like a weird name. Ballin'. Yeah. Yeah, cool. Can we go now? It was one of the last meetings of the day. I was like, well, on that note, we'll just go ahead and wrap it up. Driving home the whole time going, can he just? Can he really mean? Ballin'. Ballin'. Get it? Now, this is something that will affect all of us. Everybody gets groceries as there's going to be a strike. You know the strike thing was out there. When we come back, I'll give you a definitive answer. It's on or it's off, and I'll tell you which it is next. The Mikey Show. Be a part of The Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. What's your perfect cup of Joe? Does it have a splash of French vanilla? Or is your secret high-voltage java straight up? Hey, how'd you know? With countless flavor options from cappuccinos to sweeteners, you can go wild and create exactly what you're secretly craving. Where's my cup? At a.m. p.m., when you buy three cups, you'll get the fourth on us. It's like free. Have it all and then some. A.m. p.m.
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This is the Mikey Show. I know. Mikey. Everybody freaks out about guns and stuff. I don't freak out about them because my brother, I grew up around them. My brother had them the whole time I was growing up, so I don't freak out about guns. I like them. Woods. I flooded an entire Hampton Inn. Lauren. I used to be really into the Grateful Dead. Fantastic. And like the Nob Chompa. And Jay. I don't want to miss somebody calling this like, hey, let's go surf. Or let's go do something. Oh, Jay, shut up. This is the Mikey Show. Can you believe me? On FM 94.9. The Chiefs, Woodsy. You won! Good God! All I'm hearing... Oh, we got so lucky. You should have annihilated the Chiefs. Big deal! You gotta win! And what are you gonna do when you play the... Win! You're gonna win. Okay. I see. Hey, we can't just be complacent and just get a W. You think Phillip Rivers is gonna be complacent about anything he does at all? He is not gonna be complacent. I agree. I agree. And there's no such thing as a lucky pick. Picks are not lucky. Interceptions are not luck. Weddle on that play was going on a blitz, backed off, covered the running back because he saw it was a screen and made a hell of a play. 24 yards on the pass play. Castle throwing into a crowd, and it's intercepted. That ain't luck, dude. Picked off Eric Weddle at the bottom of that pile for San Diego. That's like saying if you throw a pick, it's just unlucky. Right.
Exactly. That's true. I mean, these guys are professional football players. They are not going to be complacent. And, you know, if they beat Miami by one next week, you know who will be happy? I will. Because they'll be four and one. And that will be great. Three and one. Word of the day is pump. And if you hear that, between now and ten, caller nine gets Bush, Filter, and Chevelle tickets at 4th and B. It's a 21 and up show. And also, how about dinner for two at La Jolla Shores? Bam. We'll give you both. You've got to be careful when you're leaving shotguns around the house. That way your 14-year-old kid doesn't get hospitalized because her younger sister shoots through a door jam with a 20-gauge because she's, quote, playing CSI. That is a true story. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about the Aztecs and their performance this week, but first I want to tell you that sports is brought to us today by Expressly Gourmet. We had Expressly Gourmet last Friday.
freaking delicious. It's pretty awesome. They go to the restaurants and get it for you and bring it to you. Yes. Well, so the San Diego State Aztecs went up to the big house of Michigan to take on their former coach, Brady Hoke, and it was not pretty for the Aztecs. They lost to the Wolverines 28-7. Denard Robinson was ridiculous, ran for about 200 yards. It was Michigan 4-0, so feast on that. Wow. Yeah. And a couple NFL games that were of note. The dream team, the Philadelphia Eagles. Dream team. Yeah. Did not play very well yesterday. And their quarterback, Mike Vick, broke his left hand. Oh, no, his right hand because he's a lefty. Broke his non-throwing hand. And here he is talking after the game about not getting calls. Everybody's seen the game. I heard this. I'm on the ground constantly. All the time. Every time I throw the ball and all my highlights. And just watching film in general. Every time I throw the ball, I'm on the ground. Get hit in the head. And, you know, I don't know why I don't get the 15-yard flags like everybody else do. But, hey, I'm not going to complain about it. I'm just making everybody aware of it. And hopefully somebody will take notice. I saw him saying that, and I closed my eyes, and I thought, Woods, please don't see this. Please don't see this. Woods, he hates Michael Vick. I want to give Michael Vick a chance.
I thought, oh, Woodsy will have a heyday with that clip. Not at all. I was just presenting the facts. They did lose 29-16 to the Giants. Also, the other shocker yesterday. I don't get calls. I don't get the calls that everybody gets. He doesn't. You want to turn yourself into a wide receiver running with a football, you're going to get hit. Maybe stand in the pocket and throw it away. Dude, $100 million for that guy? Well done. He's going to be out three weeks. So, great job. Hope you enjoy Mike Kafka in Philly because that's what you got now. It's ridiculous. So first he gets hired at the show. You know, my old buddy. That's Mike Costa. Now he's going to play for the Eagles. It's like, jeez. That's Mike Costa. Different guy. Guy's talented. Sorry. The Bills beat the Patriots 34-31, and the evil genius Mike Esparza actually called that game that the Bills are going to win. Tom Brady threw four interceptions, also threw four touchdowns, and for 387 yards. I have to check my picks. I haven't seen my picks. I don't know what my picks are. I read online, like, you started red hot. I don't know how you ended, but. Probably not good, because I know I took some ones that were not good. Yeah. I think we all took the Jets, and they lost to the Raiders 34-24. Yeah. How'd the Raiders do that? Freaking Darren McFadden, dude. 171 yards and two touchdowns on the ground. Wow. Unbelievable.
Unbelievable. Poor Woodsy has to dress like Chaz Bono because Jay continues to sell the fact that 1M1 said that Woods resembles Chaz Bono. A year ago. If you don't know, Chaz Bono, of course, the son of Sonny Bono and Cher. It's a daughter. It was their daughter and then became a man. Partly. Partly because he has not. completed the surgery. Now, I am trying to be politically correct and make sure that I am careful to say he. And he looks like a he, so it's pretty easy. He has a beard now. He has a beard. He's taking hormones. Still no wiener. Nope. No. He does not have that. We'll be looking forward to that. And says he doesn't have plans. No, he says he doesn't really have plans to get one. Oh, I thought he was researching different.
procedures. I'm right here. You can ask me. You're not Chaz Bono. Aren't I? You are. But you will be holding a sign on the corner of Friars and for Z Woods that says, I'm Chaz Bono. Vote for me on Dancing with the Stars at 570-1949. Dressed as Chaz Bono. Shaved my beard just like Chaz's beard. Perfect. It's hysterical. It's great. Mikey Thawne is October 6th and 7th, so save the date. The grocery store strike was averted. Wow, Mike. It's probably going to be a national holiday around your house. You can relax now. Take it easy. You can get some sleep. Breathe easy. You can get some more sleep. That's right. Is that possible? Don't worry, Mike. You're not going to have to fend for yourself. Grocery stores will deliver right to your house. You can stay in bed just like normal. There you are having to get up, go answer the door because Vons is at the door. Let's see. Yeah. As you know, there was a rift between the union for the California Grocery Association. CGA. The CGA. And Saturday night they voted to approve a contract.
Between the grocery chains and the leaders, the union leaders and stuff. And so it's all good. They're not going to go on strike. It's good news. Tariq Salahi, you know the name now. He is, I don't know if he still is married to Michelle Salahi. Technically. Technically, they have not gotten a divorce. But you knew of them because they snuck into a big to do White House dinner. The day before Thanksgiving last year, or 2009. And then Michelle Salahi was on the Creepy Housewives of Someplace, like Washington? I believe it was, yeah, do you see? Well, she has run off with Neil Sean, the guitar player from Journey. I thought you said Neil Sean. Yep, that's who I said. Neil Sean, the guitar player from Journey. And this is Tariq Salahi, her husband, talking about it on the Today Show. I had no idea. You actually went to a Journey concert not that long ago with McHale. You went backstage. You spent time with Neil. It's McHale Salahi? I thought it was Michelle Salahi. I did too. It's McHale Salahi because you didn't correct him. So it must be McHale. Video of it.
At that time, any inkling that there was a romantic connection between the two of them? No, I mean, we consider them, you know, dear friends. I consider Neil, you know, a best friend. He considered Neil a best friend? Oh. Oh, my gosh. I wasn't just betrayed by him. A best friend? I considered, you know. He has the same reaction we all do. Yeah, really? Best friend? I'm betrayed, in my view, by not just my wife, but by Neil. And the whole gang at Journey, because they knew about this. You know, they sent the car to get her. They sent the plane to get her. I mean, it was unbelievable how I've been totally betrayed, you know, not just by my wife, but also by my friend. What's that like, Mike? I don't know. I've never had that specifically happen to me. You think she went to him with open arms? All right. Hey, Asian lead singer of Journey, did you have anything to do with this? No, for me, it was all, you know, business and I don't know. What do you want from me? Are you nervous now when you go to your shows? No, no. What's his face? Salahi's going to be out in the audience? Tariq? Yeah, Tariq. No, no, no. Because ever since then, what did they do? They put a picture of him backstage. And they say, if he show up, don't let him in. Well, he just said in this interview with Matt Rauer that you...
Being a member of Journey had something to do with this, that you were sending planes and you were completely in support of this cheating. Well, I am lucky for the band. You know, I'm a new guy. So because this is my, you know, lucky season, what am I going to do? It's true. You don't have a lot of pull. No. And so, you know, what am I? Some kind of ruser? I just go, what do you want me to do? Just sing. I do it. I do it. I sing, and they say, arrange praying, I arrange praying. If they say, arrange a train, I arrange a plane. Would you be so kind as to sing something for us right now? Sure. Would you tell me? Probably, what about Faithfully? I like Faithfully. Faithfully is good. Faithfully is a good story. I told this one on a storyteller. Was that about Steve Perry, or? No, no. What about you? No, I tell her the story. But he had already written it. I know. The reason I tell her the story is because this is their song, Coincidentally, that Journey and Notice me sing on the YouTube. On a what? On the YouTube. On the YouTube. YouTube. And what? Open up? Faithfully. Faithfully. And I sang Faithfully. And as soon as I saw...
I was a contact on the YouTube, and they said, wow, you're really, really, really good. And I said, thank you. And he says, this is Neil Sean. And I said, no way. You pulled in your leg, huh? Yeah, you pulled in my leg, and he says, no. But anyway, I do this one. This one's sending out to you. This is Faithful. Feels go round and round on my life. Less, less hard. We've been wrong tonight. Sending on my run, the riot. The same as the priest is supposed to breathe. But oh girl, you can smell brownie.
I'm forever yours. Free, free. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Amazing. Thank you. Come back anytime. Thank you very much. So here's more of Tariq Salahi. And if she's watching this morning, what do you want her to know? Well, she broke her. I want her to know that she's with the guitarist of Journey. Yep. And that he is not her husband. I am. And that if it were up to me, she would leave the guy from Journey and then come back to our house. Just tell her to say that sentence out loud. Yes. And hear how ridiculous it sounds. Yeah, and it will sound so crazy in her own ears. In her own ears. That she'll be like, what am I doing? Have you seen the pictures? She's like, oh, he's just sucking his face, too. Neil Sean's? Yes. I'm like, really? Some people think it's a publicity stunt.
It could be with these two. It wouldn't surprise me. Yeah, a lot of people think it. Anyway. He's got a great white man afro. I'll tell you that. That is for sure. She's not that bad looking. She's not at all. She's kind of a little dime. Wow. I wonder if it's true that they were like best friends. Just to pal around together. Best friend. He's so unreliable. You can't take his word for it because he's such a strange guy. Right. Let's see. I think I have another one, too. Oh, here we go. Here he is addressing the whole publicity stunt side of it. You know, it's not a publicity stunt. And, you know, I wish it was. You know, I wish Ashlyn Kutcher would jump around this corner and say you've been punked and this is just a big, you know, we're playing with you, messing with you. But this is our emotion. I wouldn't. Everybody's different. I wouldn't even make that. Because that's almost funny, the way he said that. You know?
And I wouldn't really blame Ashton Kutcher since you've been a part of plenty of publicity stunt. Yes. Kind of an obscure referee. Ashton's like, well, what the hell did I do? I'm just trying to be on Two and a Half Men. I don't even do Punk'd anymore, you idiot. I do the cool pics. I mean, that's more relevant than Punk'd. Exactly. I think everybody, all our friends and people who know us know that we thought it was real love. I've been duped. I've been lied to. I've been cheated on. And our family and our home was destroyed. It was full of love and now it's an empty home. It's sad. If that's real, that's really sad. It's a bummer. Barack Obama was hobnobbing on Monday of last week with celebrities trying to get their approval and support. I'm just walking down Melrose at Eatery's just seeing people like Vince Vaughn, Cameron Diaz. Hey, Vince, how are you? How are you doing, Cameron? I've got this new script. It's a rewrite. I think you'll really like it. Hi, guys. It's a romantic comedy. Excuse me. Is there a scene where I'm dancing in my underwear? Yeah, of course. Actually, I'll be dancing with you. Hi, how are you? Excuse me. Hi, Mr. President. Hi. It's Mr. Obama.
How you doing? Brock. You can call me Brock. So if you want to read that. Guys, please. My agent's number is right at the top. Hey, guys. What happened with my man? Well, I'm here. Trying to have a little lunch. I saw that. Just doing a little meeting. Some of us conduct business. Yeah, we're going to eat and do a script. You know who I am, though, right? Yeah, we don't all have time for unsolved mysteries. Some of us have a career that we have to do. I was at your campaign rally, but that was a long time ago. I was there, too. I'm a big donor. Mind if I sit with you? Yeah, actually, this seat is saved. My agent's coming. It's someone sitting here. Somebody's going to sit. Someone's already. Why don't I keep the seat warm? Actually, they'll be back. They'll be right back. Listen, you see that guy over there, my man? Look across the street. You see the guy selling those star maps? Yeah. You want to recruit celebrities? You go over there, you have a map. It's five bucks. But you are here now? We're doing business. We are, but we have a lot of work to do. A lot of work to do. This is our... Some notes. This is our third rewrite on this script. We're going to do it. It's romantic comedy. I beg you for the cameras to let me sit down. So, Vince. Can't do it. All right. Okay. Well, they're busy. They're very busy. It'll be good for us. Let's keep going. I'll see you later. Good to see you, my man. Good to see you guys. Hey, take care. Take care. No, I can count on you. All right, buddy. All right. We'll see you. Probably what it sounded like. Just handing out flyers. Handing out flyers. Just vote for me. The first big event that he went to was hosted by Modern Families.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson at the House of Blues in Hollywood. 1,000 attendees, $250 a piece. Whoa. Yeah. And it helped him raise a quarter of a million dollars. Yeah. And he needs some dough. And it's going to be a tough road ahead. Yeah. But then again, you look at the Republicans and who they're offering up, and it don't look so good. Bless our two evils, as usual. It's true. Woods got to see Sienna this weekend. I did, yesterday. Which was really cool. He got to see Sienna and Sienna's mom and Seth. And he got to see Taylor. That's Sienna's brother. And he got to see Taylor's girlfriend was there as well. Oh, and also Waverly was there. Was she? Sienna's 16-year-old sister. Yes, quite a beauty. She goes to La Jolla High. You say so. What a coincidence. Well, what do you mean? If you say so, Woods, I mean, you know. You chose an animated film, right?
It's not animated. They went to see Dolphin Tale. But it was 3D, right? Yes. Dolphin Tale in 3D, which, by the way, you can't fault Woods there. It was the number one movie in America this weekend. A lot of people have kids going to see that. Or with 16-year-old sisters. I was with my wife, Jamie. He was with his wife. After an appearance, and we went to a movie with Sienna and her family. Yes, so there was no impropriety whatsoever because, yes, Woods. Well, anybody would think that she's an attractive person. There's no doubt. My wife? She's gorgeous. Yeah. No, no, no. I was talking about Waverly because a lot of people make the false. It's a fake joke. It's a fake joke that Woods thinks that she's hot. I just think she's a pretty girl. She will be a knockout when she gets older. She will be? She will be a knockout. When she gets older, she'll be a knockout. I think she's already knocking things out. Well, she's a knockout. Well, it's inappropriate. Well, listen. It's inappropriate. She's a knockout. Yeah, she's a pretty girl. I took it at the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, did you see her and say to Sienna, oh, I didn't know. No, I knew. Sienna texted me that everybody was coming. Be ready. Be ready? What does that even mean? What does that even mean? You've got to prepare yourself for something like that. Yeah. Did you share candy with her? Did you buy her some hot tamales? No. Seating arrangement. Seating arrangement.
Did you get her into the R-rated movie that she came to see? PG movie. It was Jamie, then me. Your wife. My wife, Jamie. Then me. Then Sienna. Then Waverly. Then Ann Seth. And Taylor and his girlfriend were down. Were you mad at Sienna? No. Of course he wasn't mad at Sienna. My wife and I held hands and snuggled the entire movie. The whole time. And Ann Seth, Sienna's mom, even said, you guys are so cute. You hold hands the whole time. That's right. Yeah. You know why? Because they're in love. Because they're madly in love with one another. And so the whole joke. It's just a joke. First of all, it's just a joke. But second of all, there's nothing wrong with noticing one's beauty. Exactly. Sienna's mom came to make sure she kept an eye out. Yeah, keep her safe. I notice beauty in everything. I'll notice beauty in a man. Isolate. We already have plenty of clips, actually. It's true. By the way, Sienna, if you're listening, We'd love to hear from you on this. I just want an eyewitness report. On what? How the movie was. It was phenomenal. Your behavior. Phenomenal. I cried the entire time. Wow. You cried. Cried. Is that because you couldn't sit next to Waverly? Yeah. Good morning, Sinbad.
It's a valid question. Is it valid? You are a 36-year-old man. I think that this joke is on hiatus, by the way. I don't think we can make these jokes. That's $22 apiece. You guys are violating rules here. I'll grab Mikey's poem and read if I'm so inclined. No, we weren't talking about your interview. This is something completely different. Hey, when we come back, Woods is going to be on the corner of Friars and Frazee. Dressed as Chaz Bono. He's taking his clothing off right now. If you want to see him. With his clothes off? Oh, that's not nice, Jay. Jay got him a wife beater that is so small. Where'd you get that baby gap? It's extra, extra, extra large. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Your boobs are bigger. Oh, wow. Friars and Frazee, Mission Valley. Woods is going to be out there holding a sign that says, I'm Chaz Bono. Vote for me on Dancing with the Stars at 570-1949. It's doing Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. That's the sound of the Jeep celebration event. And just what are we celebrating? Well, Jeep Grand Cherokee is the most awarded SUV ever.
And the 2012 Jeep Wrangler has an all-new powertrain with improved performance and fuel economy. With a refined, quiet interior and best-in-class maneuverability and ground clearance, it's the most capable Jeep Wrangler ever. And with some great deals, we expect a lot of sparks to fly. The Jeep Celebration Event, featuring the newest lineup of trail-rated SUVs. Now get 0% APR financing for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited at your SoCal Jeep dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy 17 city and 21 highway for Wrangler two-door. Actual results may vary based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 financed for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end 1031. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. If we were talking about Dr. Sandy T. Feldman, it would be hard for me to endorse Sandy T. Feldman because I've never been there, although I know that Woods and L.O.B. have been thrilled by going to see Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. But what I can tell you about that Woods talks about is let's get cheesy from Denny's. And because he's on his way down to the street corner, I will do that because I've experienced it firsthand.
All right. I had something called the Big Cheese Country Fried Steak and Eggs. I can tell you and give you a personal endorsement that it was delicious. And when I say delicious, I mean mouth salivating, crunching into that steak that's been fried with country fried chicken outer exterior. It's melting in your mouth. You taste that buttery cheesiness in the gravy, and they serve it with eggs. Absolutely unreal. How about the Say Cheese Sizzling Skillet? It's called Let's Get Cheesy. It's only at Denny's, and it's good. Give me food.
What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans, 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide, and exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd. Open an account today at missionfed.com or stop by any of our 22 local branches. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. Johnson loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is an equal housing lender and is federally insured by the NCUA. Hi, this is JC Thomas, and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready. At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability,
We've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit. And know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, Visit sdge.com slash safety. Oktoberfest is a celebration of the harvest. It turns into one of the biggest celebrations of the year as millions flock to Munich. Since Munich is halfway around the world, join FM 94.9 and Beck's Beer at Rocktoberfest. October 22nd, 38th and University in North Park. Celebrate your harvest or new job or oil change. Check out live music from Everest, the soft path, the style tone and more. Fill up on all kinds of German food and wash it down with a German beer, like Beck's Oktoberfest, a classic German beer that's amber in color with hints of caramel and toasted nut. It's only available from now through October. There's hundreds of Oktoberfests, but only one Rocktoberfest. So join the party October 22nd in North Park and celebrate every day with Beck's Oktoberfest, available for a limited time. For Rocktoberfest tickets or details, go to fm949sd.com.
With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Now get 0% APR financing or $2,000 cash allowance on 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated miles per gallon. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC.
This is Dan Tullis, and I just called Joel Clark, one of Select Quote Insurance Services' term life agents. Hi, Mr. Tullis. Joel, how does Select Quote save you money on term life insurance? We'll buy it in the right company. Say you take antidepressants or you smoke. All insurance companies are going to price that differently. We'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to find you the best price. Can you give me an example? Sure. Call 1-800-400-2160. and see how affordable term life insurance can be. That's 1-800-400-2160. 1-800-400-2160. Or go to selectquote.com. We shop, you save.
Get full details on the example policy at selectquote.com slash commercials. Your price could vary depending on your health, issuing company, and other factors. Not available in all states. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. This report brought to you by Applebee's. Applebee's two for 20 bucks. It's back fresher than ever. Try new chicken fettuccine carbonara, new bruschetta chicken. Get one appetizer, two entrees, all for just 20 bucks. Okay, let's see what we've got going on here. A lot of slowing. That's what's happening. On the 15 northbound before the 163, there's a car stuck, and it is blocking that left lane. Also, some back up Spring Valley area, Hammershaw Road at Elkton Boulevard, there's an accident, two-car crash. It's partially blocking lanes. And the 76 at Colgrade Road, there's some kind of object in the middle of the road that cars are swerving to avoid. This report brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. It does what no pill, no procedure can to keep you young.
Play Kaiser Permanente. Reminds you, make it part of your day. The truth is, the day you stop playing is the day you start aging. Learn more at kp.org slash thrive. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for this Monday morning. Brought to you, of course, by Polky Boys Clothing Line. It's what I wear. It's what you should, too. At least check it out at the shed. Surfwise, looking at a little bit more today as a southwest swells combining with a west-northwest wind swell ground swell mix. Not really that much larger, but every inch helps these days. Running in that need a waist-high zone, chest-high, we'll even some pluses on that on occasion at the areas most open to the total swell mix that we were seeing today. Cloudy skies will beat you. Light south winds will affect you, and a higher tide moving this morning will also slow some things down. That being said, beach breaks have some fun little pick-and-choose corners, somehow welled up with occasional crossed-up peaks. Reef breaks are starting to back off with that higher tide. Water temp fluctuating in the lower 60s, and that's what we're looking at. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For all your surfboard repair and restoration needs, go see Joe Roper. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
Oh, I hate to get up in the morning. And now back to the Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. Mikey. I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. That poor guy. Oh, my gosh. We were just looking out our window here at the Booz Allen Hamilton building. And we can see Woods from the window. out on the corner of Friars and Frisee. Let me get him on the phone here. Woods, are you there? How embarrassed are you? I'm good, but one of your brethren back here is edging, so I can barely hear you. One of my brethren is what? Edging. He's doing yard work. Oh, there's like a gardener out there, he's saying, that's doing some yard work, and so it's hard to... I got you now. Now it's better. Now it's better. Okay, so Woodsy is on the corner of Friars and Frisee. Yep.
And he is holding up. And now if you see Woods, honk your horn. We always ask you to honk your horn. And it's not that busy at Friars and Frisee right now. Not as busy as I've seen it. Sometimes it's absolutely slammed. But there's a big truck driving by right now. I can see from our perspective at the Booz Allen Hamilton building. As I look southwest, I can see him on that southwest corner. He's dressed as Chaz Bono. Immortified. Yeah. He even shaved the Chaz Bono. And LLB, you can come around. You can take your headphones off and come around. He's even got on khaki pants and a wife beater that is maybe three sizes too small for him. And he's holding up a big white sign. And read the sign, Woods. The sign says, vote for me, Chaz Bono. Dancing with the Stars. Call 570-1949 to vote. Oh. People keep slowing down. They're slowing down to read the sign. Honk, if you see him, he really enjoys the honk. I love the honk. You get a fist bump. Yeah. You got a guy taking a pic? Woods. There we go. Guys, just slow down to take a picture. Woods. There we go. Little angel. He has. Oh, my God. Let's see this horn. Yeah.
Yes! Wow. Wow. Woods, you do things I could never do, bro. I love it. Here, should I do a dance move or two? Please. All right, you ready? Yes, I'm watching. I can see you from... Oh, my gosh. Woods... Oh, yeah. By the way... Hey, listen, wait a minute. Just so people know, I want people to know how much Woods sold out for this bit. He shaved. A color me bad beard on just like Chaz Bono. To her birthday dinner with a full nasty beard on Friday. Oh, wow, Woods. You're a good man. Look at this. Let's hear these horns, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honk and call us 570-1949. If you're seeing Woods, definitely. And again, Friars and Frizee. Someone just took a picture. People are just loving taking pictures of it.
It's right off the 163 in Mission Valley. And if any of the girls want to flash him, he says. I'm good with that. Yeah, well, I think most women at 742 in the morning on a Monday, you know, just driving to work, you know. Well, Mike, you know, at 742 in the morning, I didn't think I'd be dressed up as a transgender on the corner either. Didn't you? Call it another Monday. Woods is... Jay, payback's a mofo, pal. Oh, my gosh. Really? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, payback $25,000 and we'll be even then. It's a reference to Woods getting a concussion on ABC's Wipeout. Did he? Broken ankle. Broken ankle and a concussion, and Jay and Woods lost $50,000. His fat collapsed on him. Oh, wow, Jay. I mean, he's already out there. Do you really have to? Add insult to genuine injury. M1 Dave is on the phone. He says, Chaz has awfully hard nips. Let me get him on the line. M1 Dave, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, I hung up on Chaz. Chaz, call back. Oh, no. Call back. Don't worry. Go ahead. Go ahead, Dave. You saw him. Yeah, I drove by, saw him, and I don't know if it's because it's kind of a chilly morning, but he's nipping pretty hard through that white beard. Big old dark.
Well, they're always at full attention. Woods, you know full well that that is a fact about you. Your nipples are always at full attention. That's a true fact. They're actually the size of a dime. No, they're sand dollars. Most people say they come from the ocean and they look like they're the size of a sand dollar. They are tiny. Woods is like, how dare you humiliate me by saying that my nipples are the size of a sand dollar. They are small, clam-shaped nipples. They are tiny. They're tiny. As if being tiny makes it more masculine. Absolutely. Honk if you see Woods. Go ahead, Woods. Tell me how you feel, what's going through your mind as you stand on a street corner with sandwich board that says, I am Chaz Bono. Vote for me on Dancing with the Stars. Listen to the honks. Has anyone given you a look of disgust yet? Yes, I can see him. I can see him. And people are honking. I love it. Woods.
He will go to any lengths. Oh, yeah. He will embarrass himself, and being dressed as Chaz Bono on a corner, dude, it doesn't get more humiliating than that. That is so bad. The most embarrassing thing are these pants. They're pretty bad. They're bad, dude. They couldn't button. No. They're tight, and they're high waters. Flood waters, yeah. Pull my shoes up. Oh, wow, Woods. Poor guy. Just got a thumbs up. There you go. There you go. You got to vote. Hey, Woods. Yeah. And you can call us if you've seen him. 570-1949. Call in. Give us a play-by-play of what Woods looked like. Woods, my question is, a year ago, two years ago, did you ever think that you, for work, would be dressed as a transgender on a street corner holding sandwich board? Never, ever, ever. It's got to be one of the proudest moments of your life. Oh, yeah.
My father is probably very proud today. Well, exactly. After all, the guy played at Notre Dame, your dad. And here his son is, out on a street corner, dressed as a transgender, holding sandwich boards. So you expect us to believe that you never thought you'd be doing this when you worked at the Mashed Potato. Yeah. When you worked at that gay bar in Chicago. Do you remember that, by the way? Do you remember that? Woods, do you remember that time that you worked at the gay nightclub called the Mashed Potato Club? Yes, I remember. I don't know if you remember. I remember it. Yeah, it was a gay outlet. Do you remember that you used to get hit on because you worked at a gay bar? And you were so handsome that guys, you know. Right. Do you remember that time in your life? Yes, I do. I remember that I got more ass than a toilet seat back then. Okay. Yeah, who was he? Yeah, what was his name? Woods, do you remember when you worked at the Mashed Potato Club and the guys would order appletinis and ask what your name was? Yes, I remember very well. Do you remember when you worked at the Mashed Potato Club?
Do you remember when there was naked paintings hanging on the wall of men? Do you remember that? But mostly men? It was equally distributed men and women. Do you remember when you used to compare yourself to the men in those paintings? Hey, Woods, do you remember when you worked at the gay club, the mashed potato club, and you would lower your dignity to a point where you would actually wear provocative clothing to get better tips? No, I do not. Oh, you don't remember that. I do not remember that part. I never actually did that. Honk, if you see Woods, he is on Friars and Frazee, downtown Mission Valley, holding on a very busy street corner. Honk, if you see him, holding up a sign that says, Hi, I'm Chaz Bono from Dancing with the Stars. Vote for me at 570-1949. Who from the radio station is out there protecting you? Just me. Okay, good. I don't want you to get bashed. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I want you to be safe. I want you to get votes. Yeah, you gotta get votes. And plus, there's no need to humiliate you anymore, being that one time in Chicago, you did in fact work for a place called the Mashed Potato Club. Yeah, do you remember that, Woods? I do. Remember that time? Me and all my straight friends worked there. We had a blast. Hey, is it true that you call that quote...
An experimental time. All right. Well, maybe that was what you meant by it. That's what I meant. Do you remember when they made a particular potato and named it the woods because it was so hot? Short and fat. Oh, man, I do not remember that one. You do not remember that baked potato. I do not remember. Because they couldn't keep it on the menu because it was so hot. Dang it. Hi, are you guys already out of the woods? Can I get the woods? Yeah, can I get the woods or are you guys already done? Yeah, we're done for the night. We don't have any more. What about the real wood? Yeah, pretty good. Yeah, he'll be here at six. You know that. Pretty good. Salty. Pretty good. Woods, go ahead and make your way back into the Booz Allen Hamilton building and the sign came down. Good job, buddy. I saw the sign come down, ladies and gentlemen. There he is. He's a hero. Oh my gosh, is that guy doing it? Where do you think he got the phrase, feast on this? Yep.
It was about the woods. It was about the woods. Oh, man. And let me tell you. People love the woods. Yep. I'll take mine with everything. Salty and buttery. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Extra sour cream. Okay. And chives. All right. There's nothing, you know, there's no innuendo about that. Just chives. Just chives. No, I actually want chives. I actually like chives. Saying I like chives. Delicious. Oh, my gosh. Listen, I know it's fattening and decadent, but it's so good. Fattening and decadent. Are you talking about woods? That is woods. So's the potato. I'm confused. Really? Oh, Woods is a trooper. Oh, he is a trooper. Are you kidding me? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It all started. How did it even start? With Jay. I wanted him to do it, and then.
He said he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't do it. And it was something about... It was Cher, somebody who shared dating. Larry Fertensky. You guys were disagreeing, and then he foolishly said if he was wrong... He would do it that. ...that he would dress as Chaz. Oh, my gosh. He's the boy that doesn't learn, but it pays off for us. Yes, it does. Oh, that was great. If you saw him, call us. 570-1949. I hope he advances to the next round with all the votes. Oh, for sure. That he got. He's going to win on popularity. There's no doubt about it. He will win on popularity. 570-1949 is our number. He was driven out there by Cross. Cross. Poor Chris. I wonder if two years ago Chris ever thought that his job would entail driving around a transgender guy. In pants that didn't fit. And standing in the corner filming him. This is Morgan Freeman, and he's talking about President Obama and the Tea Party. Made it worse. The Tea Party is who are controlling the Republican Party. Their stated policy, publicly stated, is to do whatever it takes to see to it that Obama only serves one term. What underlines that?
Screw the country. We're going to do whatever we can to get this black man out of here. But is that necessarily a racist thing? It is a racist thing. It just shows the weak, dark underside of America. We're supposed to be better than that. Well, is it racism? Everybody hated Bush because they hated Bush. Was it racism? I mean, come on. You can't play the racist card for everything. You can't. Otherwise, it starts to lose its sting. If you want it to still sting, you can't use it all the time. We really are. That's why all those people were in tears when Obama was elected president. I'd still have a... You know what, man? I'd still be a Rock 105 if it wasn't for the color of my skin. That's true. I would still have a job at Gaylord Containers back in Gilroy, man. Wow. I used to work at Gaylord Containers. That's a true name. I'm not making it up. It was really called Gaylord Containers. Gay for short. I really worked at a place called Gaylord Containers. And I'm giving Woods a hard time for working at the Mash Potato Club. Well, yours was just, you know, just a coincidence. He actually used to get phone numbers or asked his phone number from gay men. That is a true, that's a true story. Who hasn't, though? You know, man, I wouldn't have become an alcoholic.
If it wasn't for the color of my skin. You know what the problem with being an alcoholic is? Being Mexican too. Anyway. Just lots of tequila, Dos Equis. Last week, L.O.B., I was playing Monopoly. Uh-huh. And I lost. You could just call it L. Monopoly though, right? That's what I do call it because I'm Mexican. Yes, exactly. But I was playing L. Monopoly. I passed goal. Uh-huh. The freaking banker didn't give me $200. You know why? Why? Because I'm Mexican. Clearly. I didn't get Boardwalk. I got freaking Baltic. You know why? Because I'm Mexican. Yeah. Straight to jail, right? Yeah. The other day, I went to Alberto's. All right? And I ordered two carnes with some machaca. I only got the machaca. You know why? Why? Because I'm Mexican. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. Chaz. Chaz Butto. Man of the hour, ladies. Yay, Chaz. Good man of the hour. Chaz, Chaz, Chaz. Great work, my friend. Sit down. I want to interview you. Debriefing. We call this the debriefing. The only thing that would have made it better is if the wife beater had been showing midriff and you had a pierced belly button. Oh, my gosh. That was not going to happen. All I know is it's 60 degrees out there and I'm sweating because it was just nerve.
It doesn't help. Now he's putting on suave deodorant. It doesn't help that you're putting on women's deodorant. It's not women's. It's unisex. It's bisexual. It's bisexual. Oh, wow. Woodsy, which was worse? Dressing as a wizard last year when we put you out there dressed as a wizard or dressed as Chaz Mona? Wow, he's looking at me right now like, really? By far, Chaz. Yeah. You could hide behind the wizard. Yes, I was in a beard. I had a robe. It was kind of funny. I was kind of making fun. You still had a beard. Yeah. The real one this time. Yeah, pencil thin. Pencil thin. Color me bad. Color me bad. You shouldn't call Jamie, his wife, a beard. Yeah, she's not a beard. She's my real wife. She's not a fake wife. Oh, my gosh. I'm sure she's closing her eyes and shaking her head as we speak. Oh, gosh. She did a good job. It was great. It was awful. 570-1949 is our number. You want to know the best part? Yes. Guy pulls up in a truck. He's blasting a cig. Older guy. Probably older than Jay even. No. Pretty old. So mummy. Sticks his head out the window. He goes, you know what's funny? You really do look like Chasmona. It's sick. And it's over. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. It's like.
burning on a guy. Burning a guy and then peeing on him. It was probably Jay in some sort of costume. It probably was. We're going to play Mikey Morning Quarterback. L.O.B. and Jay face off with NFL trivia. 570-1949. You're going to pick L.O.B. or Jay. Where's my clothes? What are you talking about? Give me my clothes! I didn't even know your clothes were missing until you just yelled that. You know it's him. What? Uh-oh. Stay away from me. And the most exciting thing to happen. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from the Mikey Show coming up. You know, respectful. Sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is the Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. I'll tell you this. You know, Woodsy, they did not have the go phone back in the days that he worked at the mashed potato club. That's right. But if they had, it would have been great because it would have been unlimited talk, text.
and the web for just $50 a month, which is a great price. You cannot beat that price. And the reason that I say that it would have been great during the days at the Mashed Potato Club is because there is no doubt about it. You can talk, you can text, you can use the web, $50 a month, no annual contract, no credit check. I mean, it just doesn't get any better than that. Plus, you're on that Pantec P7040P. And the guys could have come up. They could have said, yes, is the wood still available? Sorry, we sold out of that about two hours ago. And they would text friends and say, it's sold out. It's the GoPhone Unlimited. 50 bucks a month on the nationwide network that you trust. Owns on AT&T. Eligible device and minimum account balance required. Data package required for smartphones. Coverage not available everywhere. Other restrictions and conditions apply. See store for details. Healthy living.
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KBZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fries. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. Oh, I want filth. I want straight filth. As filthy as it can get. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Word of the day has not been said yet. And the word of the day is pump. When you hear me say that between now and ten, call her nine. I'll give you a... Bush, Felter and Chevelle tickets at 4th and B, and also dinner for two at La Jolla Shores. They are calling him the well-dressed bandit. Now, the man is described as in his mid-30s, 6'2", 220 pounds, and black. He is a very dapper, good-looking man. I'll keep an eye out for him. The FBI is asking for your help, LOB. Okay.
in trying to nab this guy. He has an affinity for nice clothes and luxury automobiles. That sounds identical J. Yes. Minus the black part. Or the luxury automobiles. Or the... Fancy clothing. Yes. He robbed the Chase Bank in Sorrento Valley. And it's the third time he robbed the same branch. Oh my gosh, dude. Maybe they keep an eye out. Yeah, seriously. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, we just got word today, breaking news from Colts owner Jim Irsay, that Peyton Manning will be out for the entire year. Oh, boy. Go ahead and drop him now on your fantasy team and pick up Curtis Painter. Curtis Painter? Curtis Painter is going to be the man going forward. Actually, didn't play too badly. Not Kerry Collins? No, Kerry Collins got hurt yesterday. So it's going to be Curtis Painter. Didn't play too badly. Against the Steelers. Almost down the game. I would say there's probably got to be a little bit of a drop-off between Peyton Manning and Curtis Payton now. Just a hair. Just a hair. He's out for the year. Let's see. Oh, Mikey-thon. October 6th and 7th. Take the day off. You come out. Hang out. A friend of mine who had never been to Mikey-thon said, so do I buy a ticket? And I said, no. And here's the thing with it. It's a...
place where the nation gets together, M1 Nation, and they just congregate. They hang out. There's going to be a thing out there for them to grill food, and there's going to be a stage. In fact, I'll make the announcement now. I'll tell you now. We are going to do the movies outside. Wow! We're going to come out there and hang out. Yeah! Now, last time we got, you could hear other people on our mics. We have to be in a... separate area, but we'll be out there. And it's going to be great. We're going to watch Pretty in Pink and Cobra. And it's going to be phenomenal. We're raising money for Rady Children's Hospital and it happens Thursday and Friday, October 6th and 7th. We stay awake for 28 straight hours and broadcast for 28 straight hours. And we have to thank Tulip for making it all possible. They're our big title sponsor. Yeah. So thank you to Tulip.
It sounds like Jay saying tulip. Yeah. Tool up. It's tulip. It's the one on Chesapeake Drive. And we got a florist. Yeah, it's a tulip. In the sale, you know, like Craftsman. Craftsman and Skeel. If you like Craftsman or Skeel. DeWalt. A Phillips screwdriver. Yep. Phillips. Phillips. Guys who know tools know tool up. Well, guys that know tools know tool up. But you guys don't know tools. Not tool up. That is true. It's a true fact, Jay. You guys just are tools. Good one. Gallagher. Are you ready to play? Yeah! Now we show our manhood. Little Mikey Morning quarterback. Yeah, watching the game on TV. Woo, look at those men in there. Speaking of manhood. M1 uniform man from Escondido. Who do you want, Jay or L.O.B.? I'll take Jason. All right. There you go. Hang up now, pal. I'm undefeated, pal. M1 Rebecca from Kearney Mesa. You've got Lauren hanging on the line. And Lauren is undefeated. Jay goes first this week. Okay, cool. All right, so basically, if you've never heard it before, we play trivia with the NFL because neither L.O.B. or Jay claim to be the end-all, be-all when it comes to the National Football League. Well, it's also just funny pitting a man.
From Texas against a young, demure woman. She watches football, though. I would agree. I don't watch it. I watch a little bit. Who did you say begins this time? It's Jay's turn. Jay. All right. Jay? Yes. What color are the Kansas City Chiefs' uniforms? They are light blue. Oh, my freaking... Okay, dark blue. I was mad at you for that question, but now I'm not. Red. They are brown. Pink. Black. They actually are red. Yeah. They're red and white. Yeah, I got one right. No, you didn't. Nope. You said blue and then dark blue. Then dark blue. L.O.B.? Yes. How shocked are you that Jay did not know that they were red? Scale of one to ten. Eleven. Yeah, I would say eleven. Yes. L.O.B., what team did Drew Brees play for before he played for the Saints?
The Chargers. Correct. That is correct. Wow. That is correct. Easy. Joseph? Go ahead. Name any. And by any. These are my favorite. He always gets to name any. These are my favorite. And by any, I mean including all. And not to exclude any. Anyone. Okay. So name any position on special teams. Any position. Oops. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Weird. Oops. Sorry. Any position on special teams. Okay. Phil Goldkicker. I'm so late. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you so much. Say again. Phil Goldkicker. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.
It's like a spring that never stops. Oh, boy. Imagine if you hit oil and it just never ran dry. That's correct. There's so much good about that answer. Both of them. Field gold kicker. Field gold. Field gold. Field gold kicker. Sorry, can you repeat that? Field gold. Yes, you are correct. What is the score? It's one to one. One to one. L-O-B? Good job. Kicker would have sufficed. But thank you for the extra effort. L.O.B., what position did Dan Marino play? I'm glad you asked. He was a quarterback. That is correct. That is correct. He was a quarterback. I'm starting to think this is rigged. Isotoners. Jacef, I promise you with all my might. I believe you. You ready? Yes. What does O.J. stand for in O.J. Simpson? What does O.J. stand for? You mean the juice?
Let's see. There is his initials. Well, yes, but what does it stand for? What are his initials? Oren Julius. No, but you actually started to say it. Orlando? It stands for Orenthal. You actually started to say it. Orenthal James Simpson. So the biggest trial in U.S. history. Yes. That is a true fact. If you're not a football fan. That is a true fact. It's like saying jumble juice. He said orange juice. Orange juice. Isolate. LME. All of it. Are you ready? I am ready. This is gold. Who was the original LT? Lawrence Taylor. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's not even fair. She's unbelievable. All right. This next one, you get a hint, Jay. Oh.
What was the name of the famous dome that the Lions used to play in? I'll give you a hint. It was sponsored by Pontiac. The Pontiac Dome. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. How long? Detroit. I don't know. I give up. It was the Pontiac Silver Dome. It was the Silver Dome. L-O-B wins again. That's right, suckers. I'm defeated. Holy cow. She is undefeated. M1, Rebecca from Kearney Mesa. That's awesome. Yeah, you got it. That's awesome. That's right. Girl power. Hang on line. Hang on line. It's weird that we said that at the same time, Mike. Yeah. Girls uniting in there. Yeah, it's, you know, something that I'm used to shouting out. Girl power. Then we push our breasts together. Yes, we do. You're not supposed to speak out of school.
I wanted to tell you about my morning. Woods texted me this morning. I thought you were about to say something. No. What? Oh, oh, oh. Gosh, you dirty, filthy birdie. I want to tell you about my morning. Wood. Oh, I got it. I'll tell you about my morning wood. Holy cow. Boy, somebody's got a filthy dirty in the gutter. Yes. Anyway, I get a text from... woods this morning that says heads up just want to let you know i was just scared to death because i was walking into our building and there's a homeless woman in a sleeping bag and she really scared me now i'm actually glad he gave me the heads up because had i not known it and i had to turn that corner he's right there was a blue sleeping bag right there and like a little cup of coffee in a bag in a bag so uh Woods told me that. And on my way out the door, I grabbed a Bible and I gave her a brand new Bible. And I said, I said, hi, good morning. And she and I handed it to her and she said, thank you. That's very sweet. And I said, is there anything I can do for you? And she said, no, I'm I'm here late doing paperwork. OK. She wasn't.
She wasn't a homeless woman. Well, she didn't look good. Other than the fact that she was sleeping in front of a building in a sleeping bag. Yes, in a sleeping bag. Other than that. I don't think she was, though. That's what I asked Woods this morning. I said, are you sure she was homeless? And he says, she was in a sleeping bag outside of her building. I was like, oh. She's wearing a good disguise. If she's not homeless, she's wearing a disguise. But she was also wearing makeup and had her hair done. Kind of. Kind of? Yeah. Kind of. I don't understand it. I don't either. I wondered. But the first thing in my head when I got inside, because when I walked up, she goes, and I go, and I jumped. I go, hi. And I ran inside. And the first thing I thought is, where the hell is the security that they're letting women sleep in sleeping bags outside our building? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the strange thing is, yesterday was Sunday. Right. This is not a typical building where people work on Sundays.
As far as we know. So did she get here early? I'm telling you, though, she really did look like she had makeup on. She had a bag in her white canvas bag. There were files and papers sticking out of it. Now that I recall, there were files and papers sticking out of it. What I don't understand is, okay, let's say that she was here to do paperwork. I was obviously going into the building. I could have let her in the building. Now, let's say she couldn't even get into her office. Well, wouldn't you then lug said sleeping bag up to said floor that you work on and sleep in front of your office and not on the concrete in front of a building outside? If I hadn't known, I might have screamed like a little girl. I damn near did. My guess is this. You want to hear my hypothesis? Yeah, yeah, your hypothesis. Okay, we need an access card to get into the building after hours. She might not be at a level where she has an access card. Let's say maybe she's an assistant or something and they don't feel like she needs one. She forgot to do something on Friday. So she wanted to get in first thing on Monday morning and get in there when the doors open before...
The bosses get to work. Got an idea. Got an idea, though, to shoot that theory down. Yeah. Let's say she had to be here to get the paperwork done or whatever. Maybe you just show up when the door's open. Yep. How about stay in your car? Sleep in your car. Yeah, that's a bizarre thing. She had a full-on sleeping bag was inside with the flap over her head until I walked in. She goes, I want to know the story so bad. I wanted to go interview her. Split personality? Maybe. Yeah. Maybe she's off her meds. Think she's filing papers? I don't know. That's my bet. Offer meds. But she told Mikey that I'm not homeless. I'm filing paperwork. I said, oh, all righty. See you later. Strange. You ever get luck with that? Too inquisitive? Yes. Just trying to help. I am sometimes too inquisitive. I ask too many questions. Sometimes. Yes, Mike. Sometimes it's okay to not ask questions. Sometimes it's okay to just walk on past. Yes. I was trying to be kind. I know you were. That's all. Blew up in your face. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, she thought it was sweet. It's just, hey, I work here. You know? Yeah. Second time I've done it. Did it once at Starbucks, too. You were? Yeah. You mistook someone? Yes, I did. For homeless? Yes. They were in a sleeping bag? Nope. They were in fatigues. But they were filthy, and the person had a long beard. They must be homeless. So the Marine possibly just got back from a tour? Yeah, fresh tour.
Real good. Just post-traumatic stress and grabbing a coffee. Trying to have a coffee here, pal. Maybe not even any post-traumatic stress. Maybe not. Trying to have a coffee. Yeah, trying to have a coffee. Wake up. Yeah, maybe the guy just had fatigues. Yeah. It's like just fatigues. He had long hair. It was dirty. And his beard was dirty and it was long. And he had, you know, like it looked like it was a mechanic on his face. So should they wear armbands or something so that we can recognize them? I was trying to be kind. Well... And he was walking with a gate. A sort of odd gate to him, you know? And he went into the Starbucks. He sat down. And I went in. And I gave him $10 and a Bible. And he... He looked at me and he kind of opened his eyes and he said...
Oh, I'm not homeless. I was just having a cup of coffee. But thank you. That's nice of you. Did he keep the $10? Yes. Does that make him a monster, in fact? Well, wait a minute. Maybe in these cases, maybe they are homeless, but they don't want to say they're homeless. Maybe so. Maybe that's the deal. I don't... I mean, maybe pride. Hey, listen. Are you going to be out there, you know, at 4.30 in the morning? Four. It was 4.30 when I, you know, the other one. Oh, the other one. The other guy. It's 4.30 and, sorry, that's my heart. That is so bizarre. It was very, you don't expect that walking into work on a Monday morning. You don't expect this either. Try not to vomit. In Chicago, at Wrigley Field, there's a couple of health violations that have been going on. Chicago health department records show that almost 30. Violations have been reported last week at Wrigley Field. They include sausages not being stored at proper temperatures. You silly sausage. And also a buildup of garbage. At least five concession venues at Wrigley Field had a buildup of black slime. And some workers weren't washing their hands after touching food.
Now, imagine you're hearing this news today after you enjoyed a fresh chili dog there last Friday. Oh, my God. Jay, please. I beg you. Stop. Please. I've been there. It's hideous. Is it really? It looks beautiful. You go there to say that you've been. And that's why you go to... Obviously, you don't go to see the Cubs. They're terrible. But a new family took over recently. They cleaned it up. They did nothing. It was built in, I think, 1908. Oh, my gosh. Something like that. It's a toilet bowl. More teenagers having unprotected sex. What's unprotected sex? Oh, and there was a pollution warning at Delmar Beaches. What? I'll tell you why.
The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. So, be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Byen. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And? Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. This is the FM 9. It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Tomorrow night at 4th and B. Bush return to San Diego with Filter and Chevelle. Friday night, there's two good shows. House of Blues, you can see Portugal the Man. Or at the Belly Up, go see Peter, Bjorn, and John. Both of those this Friday night. This Sunday, Erasure plays House of Blues. And next Monday, the 3rd, see Misfits with Agent Orange at House of Blues. Blink-182, we're at Cricket Wireless on the 6th. Blitz and Trapper with Dawes hit the Belly Up on the 9th. On the 10th, it's an FM 94.9 about the music show with the pains of being pure at heart at the belly up. That one is $6. And still to come, Ryan Adams, The Foo Fighters, Rocktoberfest, Boxer Rebellion, Wild Flag, City in Color, Company of Thieves, Morrissey, Peter Murphy with She Wants Revenge, and Dinosaur Jr. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com.
With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Now, get 0% APR financing or $2,000 cash allowance on 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated miles per gallon. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC.
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If you're thinking about a credit counselor, ask yourself this. Are they working for you or the credit card companies? Reduce your debts and save thousands of dollars by learning the secrets to settling your debt. For free information, call 1-800-700-6617. That's 1-800-700-6617. 1-800-700-6617. Today is the day. It's Toyota's final clearance. Now save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new fuel-efficient Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Benza, Highlander, or Tundra. Today is the day to see your San Diego County Toyota dealer. We've got what it takes, San Diego. Hurry, Toyota's final clearance ends soon. Save thousands with 0% financing on seven of Toyota's most popular vehicles. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 10-3-11.
Frank's Red Hot Sauce with cayenne peppers adds the perfect blend of flavor and heat to all your favorite party foods. Like wings, burgers, ribs, dips, and more. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I've put that on everything. Maybe you're tired of wearing cheap work shoes that don't hold up or uncomfortable. Or maybe you're tired of overpaying for so-called premium work shoes that don't deliver. The fact is, they're your work shoes and you're paying for them, right? Hi, I'm Ed Stone, president of Boot World. I'm here to tell you that you'll find the work shoes you want, and you won't have to pay a premium price at Boot World. You'll find brand names like Wolverine Durashock, Caterpillar, Timberland Pro, Dr. Martins, Chippewa, Georgia, and even Harley-Davidson's at prices you can afford. Our selection is so big, we have shoes for every use imaginable, including those of you who want slip-resistant footwear. And since we are a San Diego steel toe leader, you are sure to find a steel toe that you love. At Boot World, our trained sales associates will take all the time needed to make sure you have the right shoe with the right fit. You'll find the work shoes you want at the guaranteed lowest prices at Boot World. Boot World has stores on Convoy in Kearney Mesa, Plaza Comunerial in Carlsbad, San Marcos, Al Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and bootworld.com.
This report is brought to you by the Sandag iCommute program. Take the commuter challenge. Start a carpool or vanpool today at 511sd.com. Throughout October, you could save gas and win prizes. That's 511sd.com or call. Okay, trash can rolling around causing a delay on the 78 westbound Woodland Parkway. It's in the middle of the road. The 78 westbound before the 5, there's a three-car crash. No further information, but it looks like things are really backing up here. And the 94 westbound at the 5, we've got a car over on the right shoulder, another one in the number two lane. This report also brought to you by Applebee's. Applebee's, two for 20 bucks. It's back fresher than ever. Try new chicken, fettuccine, carbonara, new bruschetta chicken. Get one appetizer, two entrees, all for just $20. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. Rise and shine, it's a new day. With Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best movie ever made, Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. Welcome to the North Houston Ramada Inn.
My name is Shemp, and we are Baby Come Back, a player cover band. I've been playing this venue. I've been lucky enough to be blessed to play this venue 26 years. Lucky you have me. That's right. My name's Phil. I was actually in player, original keyboardist. That's right. I found Phil on Craigslist. That's right. It turned out he was the same guy. Said, need a player? You got one. Now, as you can see, we just play a vocal track for the lead singer. I'm the drummer. I can't sing a lick. Can't sing. We've been sitting here playing keyboards and drums for Baby Come Back, a cover band for Player, going on 27 years in August. Baby Come Back. I want to let people know that drinks are a dollar off. Two dollar Harvey Wahlberg. Right now there's a special on an old-fashioned. Delicious.
$2 old fashions right now at the bar. Tip Kim, your bartender, please. Kim's a good girl. Good Asian girl. I remember her third daughter. As do I. I made sex to her. Is that right? That's right. Welcome to Baby Come Back. Phil was the actual keyboard player for Player. Correct. 68 to 74. Did I mention that already? You did. A lot of people say it's kind of weird that you guys have a vocal track for your cover band. You know what I say to those people? Screw off. That's right. You try it. Shove it. Shake it. Reminds me of my first wife. She passed away in the bathtub. It was an accident, you know. And that was my first Corvette.
I bought a Corvette a couple weeks later, and, you know, it could have happened to anybody. I was investigated. You're still being investigated. Actually, it won't go away because of Lieutenant Johns, who's kind of a pain in the ass. He's here tonight. Again. Hey, there he is. Parked out front just watching when old Stevie's going to leave the... You know where I live, so I didn't have anything to do with it. I thought you said your name was Shem. Well, Shemp's my stage name. Fair enough. Anyway, boy, I miss her. She was, you know how sometimes she'll take them sleeping pills and drink that wine. And drink the wine that way. Any kind of fool could see. Hey, we should harmonize on the one part. Yeah, let's do that. Baby, come back. Baby, come back. You should blame it all on me.
A lot of people think it's weird that we also have a recording of the lead guitar player. Bottom line is all we have is keys and drums. People keep dying. So we also have a track for the bass. All right, guys, that's it. Thanks a lot. See you next time. Thanks for coming here. Thank you, Melinda. Anytime. I love you guys. It's good to see you again. Melinda usually brings a cousin. It's just her and her cousin every night. Cousin's got the hair lip. I don't know what happened to her. She's hideous. She's sick. She got the clap. She's going around. Yeah. I got it. She didn't get it from me. She actually did get it from me. She got it from me. It was from one of the two of you. It was me. I'll admit it. You're going to sit there all night? You're going to watch me drive home? Freaking feds. Detective. Is that what you call yourself now? You're a detective now. Hey, you want to take pictures of us? I want you to take pictures. I didn't have anything to do with it, you creep. You want to be slicker than a six-year-old. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should be. I'm a family man. He's a hard-working man. Leave Shempy alone. Dirtbag. I'm a good person. I got your back, Shempy boy. Thank you, Melinda. And your front. He got my front. Let's see. Oh, the pollution warning.
Del Mar. Listen to this. A thousand gallons of raw sewage. Great. Happened to overflow on 8th Street in Del Mar. And apparently it was enough to block sanitation. Sanitation. And a thousand gallons right into the North County Ocean coastline. Wow. Watch out for the brown trout. Subtle. Watch out for the floating turd. Look out for caca water. Watch out for the pieces of ass floating around in the water amongst you. Look out for poop waves. Jay knows just the way to put it so that you can't really tell what he's saying, but you can. Yes. Very subtle. Good. The water looked dirty as all came up yesterday. Red Tide still. Oh, yeah. Is Red Tide here?
It was doing the fluorescent wave break at night. It was pretty brown. That's so yuck. I don't want to talk about menstrual stuff. It's hideous. What made you point? Red Tide. Oh, gosh. We're talking about the ocean. That's what I heard. Way to take it that way, though. Gosh. Hideous. Clearly it's on your mind. Hey, where's our parody song about the water? It's in the library. Hold on. I'll just go check it out. I've got my library card on me, so. Dewey Decimal System, I believe. It's one. 0.0001. 0.0001. F-I-446. Are you looking in fiction or nonfiction? Well, I was looking in nonfiction, but perhaps... I'm in the card catalog right now. He's looking in the card catalog. And then I'll play it for you. You know there's kids right now that have no idea what the hell a card catalog is? Yes. No idea. Oh, no. What? What? Dewey Decimal. A card catalog? I was thinking about it the other day.
And I was like, there was something that I said, oh, if there was somebody born after this year, they don't know this. And they've never known it. And LOB was telling a story last week about you, there was some kid at a restaurant. And oh, oh, oh, the 80s thing. Oh, yes. Tell that story. Oh, yeah. I went to, last week, a 30th birthday party. And the theme was 80s. And we started out having brunch somewhere. and we're all dressed 80s, and they're playing 80s music for us. And the busboy comes in, and he's like, yeah, 80s, theme party. And I was like, were you even alive in the 80s? And he was like, nah, I was born in 93. Oh. You just feel old. He's 18. You're a graduated high school. Yeah. And he's like, ah. He's like, ah, 80s. Little turd. That used to be us making fun of people. That was like I dressed when I was in sixth grade for Halloween. I was a hippie for Halloween with the peace sign and the sunglasses. People are going to dress 80s. And that will be something that they didn't know anything about. And it's funny. Yeah, it's hysterical to them. Yeah, it's what you laugh at. I want to tell those kids, one of these days, there's going to be young teenagers and they're going to be like, Katy Perry. Yeah.
It's true. Yeah. California girls. Teenage dream. Teenage dream. I listen to oldies. I like oldies. Oh, wow. What's weird is us as grandparents, we will listen to hip hop songs and be like, this is the kind of music that we listen to. Yes. At some point, there's going to be Grandpa Brad. Yes. There's going to be Grandma Tiffany. Grandma Ballin, maybe. Grandpa Ballin. Yeah. Right, Jay? Have you seen Ballin'? Nope. I'm looking for him. Nobody has. I'm looking for Ballin'. Nobody's ever seen Ballin'. Earlier, Jay, we were talking about how Jay had an idea. And the idea was, hey, I just saw this article that says that there's a bunch of unusual names that kids were named last year. Ballin'. Ballin'. One of them was Ballin'. Ballin'. Maybe we ask our audience if any of them have named their child Ballin'. Do you know anybody? Named Bollin? No. Nobody does, in fact. It would be funny because when that kid was four or five years old, someone would walk into a room and say... It's hysterical. Has anyone seen Bollin? Anybody? That's hysterical. He also said, when I gave him resistance, and said, I don't know, Jay, if anybody can relate to that. He said... Just resistance, by the way. Very just. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I said, I don't know that anybody will relate to that or if any of our audience members have named their child Ballin. He said, no, you know, like what if they like mess up or they just screw up? Here's an example. And they forget. I have an example for you. Please. So we go through all these names for our kids. I named my daughter Liberty. Yes. A lot of people say my name is a bell. Go ahead. So Liberty is a bell. See, now that was a mistake. We love the name Liberty, but we don't want them to refer to her as Abel. Right. They never thought that people would say, Liberty is Abel. Right. It's a good thing your last name isn't Isahore. Or Isahore. Wow. Well, not that. Wow. Yeah, it was. Not that. Is a slut. No, no, no. Like his last name could be Isslut. Right.
This is my daughter. I'm not saying her. I'm saying your last name. He was trying to go on more of the tip of what if her name had been, their last name was For All. Justice. I know a family that have a liberty and justice for all. No, you don't. I do, swear. Three different kids? Yeah, you guys. It's a boy and a girl. I know it's a crazy-ass coincidence, but their last name is... For all. I swear to you. I also... It's not a ballin'. I also have a friend whose last name is To The Flag. That's right. To The Flag. It's Craig and Melissa To The Flag. Now, wouldn't you know it, they messed up. They named their daughter I Pledge Allegiance To.
I'm thinking the last name would be Ballin. I pledge allegiance. My other neighbor, his last name is years ago, and they named their kids four score as one, and the other one's and seven. Oh, wow. And that's how they did it. First name free, last name Ballin. It was a mistake. They screwed up. Listen, when your last name is years ago, you don't have, Chad years ago doesn't work. No. Four score, and seven does. It just does, Matt. It just makes sense. That dude took too much acid in the 70s. For all. Or just enough. If you produce. Okay. If you. Listen. Done deal. Listen to me. What are you going to do? Listen to me. What are you going to do? Hang on. For all. If you produce. Okay. A fax. Okay. With a driver's license. Okay. From your good. Do this. John Forall. What do I get? What do I get? With your good friends, the Foralls. John and Peggy Forall. Yes. What do I get? Chris and Ruth Forall. What do I get? $1,000. No. Whoa. Not $1,000. Why would you? I will give you $100. Yes. Now, but if you cannot produce it. Yes. Because three weeks from now, you'll go, I can't.
I called him. He ain't called me back. He ain't called me back. He's a nap. Well, dang, to get the fake ID made, it costs $100. You know how much it's going to cost to get the fake ID? There's no margin on that. Let me see. Maybe he's on Facebook. Is he on Facebook, Jay? I don't know. I mean, there was like Friends of Liberty's. They weren't like close family friends, but yeah. How ironic is that? Oh. You had Liberty Isabel. Check this out. Friends. With the four alls. When we first moved here, we thought we were the only people that had named their kid Liberty. Yeah. And Liberty's name is Liberty Sage Isbell. Yeah. Maddie's best friend when she moved here? Yeah. Guess what her name was? Liberty Sage. Liberty Sage. Wow. What a... Shocking. It's shocking. It should be a topic. It's a small world. Our neighbor's last name, in peace. All right. John and Melinda. In peace. What are their kids' names, Jake? Rest. Right. All right. They've got their son, Rest. And their daughter, Go. Hey, Mike. Yeah. I got friends' name. Their last name is We Trust. Right. One of them's name's N. And guess what? Doggone it. Their son's name is God. That's right. Now, it is a mistake. Screwed up. They're drinking. His name's God.
They were drinking. You know? I mean, I know you'd like him because his name's God. God, Mike. Man, it's awkward. Hey, has anyone seen Ian? Oh, Ian? No. Ian. Ian. Ian. I-A-N. No. Ian. I-N? Yeah. That's weird. Run. Go. Where are y'all? Don't you hide from Dad. For All. He's trying to sell us on For All. For All. That guy will have a fake ID by tomorrow. Some dude that's a friend. Adam. This is him. Adam For All. There he is. Adam M. For All. I'm like, wait a minute. That looks just like our promotion director, Adam. Yes, identical Adam.
Yeah, it's not, Mike. It's a picture of Gordon Lightfoot holding a guitar on a driver's license that says Jim Forall. And you can still see the word fender if it's not cropped out correctly. It's just the outlined head from Facebook when someone doesn't have a picture. He was so irritated that we didn't understand the balling bit. He was so mad. And when he said that at four years old they would walk in and say, Has anyone seen Ballin'? Oh my gosh. Didn't get it. That was a moment that had to be shared. I still don't quite get it. I don't either. I don't know what the resolution of that bit would have been. Just weird names. Like I saw somebody called in a minute ago and they were Misty Mountain. It was funny names. Weird names for kids. I will say. Ballin'. Ballin'. Parents. They try to be to one-up another parent by being like, I'm going to have this cool name or this interesting name. And they don't think about the fact that that person has to live with that name their whole life. You have to be Apple for the rest of your life. Your kid's got to go through life with the name Bolsa. Our daughter's name is Cadence. Ballin'. Shiloh. Shiloh? I know Shiloh. Yeah. That's Brad and Angelina's kid's name is Shiloh. It's cute for him for some reason. If I did, I'd be an idiot. Her. Her. Sorry.
So it's already a problem. Yeah. Now you can see that if you name your kid something weird. Peekaboo. Remember Peekaboo Street? Yeah, Peekaboo Street. That's right. She's cute. Peekaboo. Chaz. Mm-hmm. She chose that name. He chose that name. That's right. She was a she when she chose it as a he. Her name was Chastity, so you shorten it. There's some names that you just will not be popular from this point on. Fredo. There's not... Well, unless your first name's Al. And then your last name's Fredo. But most of the time, you don't find a lot of Fredos. No, you don't. And you don't want to be named after Fredo anyway. Turncoat. Sally. There's probably not going to be a lot of Casey's. No. Not a lot of... Female Casey's. Gertrude's. No. Not a lot of OJ's. No. Let me see. M1 Termite Finder from San Diego. Are you there? Good morning. There's a family that was from Houston, Texas. That was called the Hog family. They were a very prominent family. True story. And their daughter was Ima Hog, and the son was Yura Hog. Yura Hog. You can look it up. That is a true story. The Hog family from Houston. He is exactly right. Poor kids. It is a true story. Ima and Yura. Why wouldn't they switch it? Why give a girl the name Ima Hog? Ima Hog. Poor girl. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. What choice do you have? You can't be a 10. Yeah.
With a slender little figure and big boobs and call yourself I'm a hog. And can you imagine the day that she figured it out? It was probably school. Same day Ballin figured it out. He's like, dang it. Except no one's ever met a Ballin. Ten years from now, I will say. Has anyone seen Ballin? I hope I meet a Ballin. I will take a picture next to him. If you're a real M1 and you're going to have a kid, you should name your child Ballin. What? What did he say? I don't know. He chose to say it right when Woods was talking, so it was, I'm kissing him. So it got me. What does Jay have to do if he cannot produce his friend? For all. For all. With the last name, for all. What does he have to do? Something involving a street corner. For sure. Maybe say that he's going to be at Paula Casino as Gordon Lightfoot. Yes.
Maybe you stand on the street corner in fishnet hose. And high heels. Yes, and a sign that says, has anyone seen Ballin? Oh my gosh. What's the cutoff on this? Friday? No, I don't want him to come up with a fake. Oh, we'll have to. Actually, we need to speak to them. We need it. Well, he can do that too. He'll hire somebody. That guy can do. Isbell Productions over there. It's true. He'll buy it back from his wife, and he'll figure it out. He'll get a... He'll have Jasper call in. Yeah. Yeah, this is me. John Farrell. This is Farrell. It's probably Farrell. Yeah, it's probably Farrell. Farrell ain't gonna work. Really? I'm telling you. Farrell. How do you spell it? I don't, but... How would you if you were... I wouldn't, because I never did, but I knew that they existed. How do they spell it? Who told you that they existed? They was always... We always knew we were going to go... We're family friends. Woods, listen, we are going to find out if there is a for-all. That fresh hundred bucks is going to be real tasty. And I'll give him a fresh hundred. Okay. And if not, fishnets, high heels, makeup, wig, shirtless, shirtless. Hey, I just had to go out as Chaz Bono. So pretty much you just went out what you always wear. What's always? Oh, gosh.
He is going to slit all of our throats. He'll be in fishnets on that street. I'm on your side. He's got a gray. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I just got a brain fart. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to play you a parody commercial. I'm going to tell you about why the waves might be real tasty in San Diego real soon. Does anybody know who Kim Delaney is? I don't know who she is, but she's famous, and she just gave an incoherent speech, and they had to drag her off the stage, and I have audio. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. Or come at M94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Bex. October 22nd, 30th and University. Featuring Everest. Featuring Everest. The Soft Pack. Dead Feather Moon. The Style Tones. Low Volts. And Heavy Guilt.
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You hit a roadblock when you're marketing your small business. Constant Contact combines email marketing with social media to help you overcome that barrier. Visit ConstantContact.com to get started. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Hey, San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. This is The Mikey Show. With Mikey. When I was in high school, I never made love with a girl. Woods. That is what heaven is. In my mind. I get up to heaven and I'm like, oh my God, it's a Krispy Kreme. Lauren. My butt doesn't go straight down. Sticks out. You know, junk in the trunk. In the trunk. And Jay. I tell you, Kim got me on the organic ketchup and then I went back to the Heinz. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. He's twirling a band leader's baton up there. Get up. Get up. Pump it up. What were you saving? Why did you say you'll save it? Oh, your boy out there, Jay. Jason R. Isbell. You know what his new bit is? He just told me. I think they should ban smoking from all movies. You should never be able to smoke. Yeah, absolutely you can smoke in a movie.
You can't? Not in a movie theater. He's saying that if you're playing a character named Bill and I'm playing a character named Ted, that's a terrible example, but we're on an excellent adventure, you can't have a cigarette. You shouldn't be able to smoke in a movie. Well, that's kind of strange. What if the character calls for that? Right, Mike, I agree with you. Yeah. What if the character kind of called? Okay, so check this out. I was reading an article. Kids start smoking every year because of smoking in movies. Is that for real? You did. Oh, that's right. Footloose. Footloose. So how about we take it out of movies and we just, and I said in my recap, how about we just have them carrying around an oxygen tank and they have a hole punched in their neck as well. How about we take out cursing and eating bad food and doing dangerous things? Snorting cocaine. Drinking. Well, wait a minute. I don't know. Well, and see, that's the trippy thing about stats is that it's hard to prove, you know, in other words, you can go, you know, 4,000 people that have driven this brand of car have died over the last, you know, however many years. Well, it could just be that there are people driving that car.
You know, there are some stats that line up. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're related. Right. It has to be because specifically that's why. Right. You know, whereas I think with this, they're probably going, you smoke, right? Yeah. Did you ever see movies about people smoking? Yeah. It doesn't mean that's what. Now, in your case, Woods, it does. I thought it looked cool. But what about? So you went out and got cigarettes after you saw Footloose. Actually, it's a two-parter, LLB. He takes a smoke, takes a drink, and then he blows the smoke out. And I thought the whole thing, and he's pissed off, you know, and they're playing that song, and he's just mad at the preacher. Just dancing. Just dancing. And I just was like, damn, that dude's cool. You wanted to drive a bug. You wanted to have tight pants. 100%. I wanted to wear a tie to school. Yeah. And I wanted to smoke cigarettes like Kevin Bacon. There you go. Case closed. Well, wait. Did you go out and get cigarettes afterwards? Yeah. I mean, I didn't go out and like, but I remember consciously going, that's cool. I'm going to try that. And I did. That's pretty bad. And it stuck. That is bad. Because he remembers it was the first time he saw it. It doesn't mean that's what made, the first person that made me do it is Kelly Lenahan.
She was another seventh grader. You should wipe out seventh graders then. Yeah, exactly. There should be no more seventh graders. Yeah, seventh graders. There's no more seventh graders. Why not just take the temptation right out of it? How about be a parent? Yeah. And you tell your kids the dangers of smoking. I will. But if there's a movie, trust me, if there's a movie that's making it look cool, what do you think is going to win out? Like how all movies make drugs look cool? I don't know about that. No, that means you couldn't do a movie about drugs. Right. You couldn't make a movie where somebody's smoking a joint because that looks cool. Okay, tell me if you'd be okay with this. Would you be okay with it if it were only PG movies? If only PG... In other words, if it's rated R, you can show anything you want. I don't care. But if it's PG, you can't. I mean, I think it's asinine to take smoking out of movies. I mean, I think it makes no sense. If it was my way, I would just take smoking out of everything, period. But what about marijuana? I'm fine with that.
You don't think that people get lung cancer from marijuana. I actually met a dude, and I asked him, I go, do you smoke cigarettes? He goes, no, I've only smoked marijuana. I have lung cancer. That's a true statement. Anything where you get smoke in your lungs can't be great for you. You know, it's the deal. M1 Andrew from San Diego. What was the word of the day? That is right. You're going to see Bush, Filter, and Chevelle at 4th and B, and we're also going to set you up for dinner for two at La Jolla Shores. Hang on. Hang on the line. Well, I was watching a documentary about horror movies, and it said that back in the day when horror movies first came out, it was a governmental law that the horror movies had to end with the villain dying. Wow. Period. Wow. Regardless of what the motivation of the monster was or whatever, it had to die. King Kong had to die. Wow. That was the way it was. So if you made a movie and it was Frankenstein or whatever, had to die. That's just the way it was for a while. And then you could see the progression. What changed everything was Psycho, the movie Psycho. Everything was pretty much status quo until 1961. And as soon as Hitchcock did Psycho, everybody started going crazy in terms of the content. No pun intended. Yeah. But the smoking?
Gosh, if it's making kids smoke, it trips you out, doesn't it? Doesn't it trip you out a little bit? I mean, you're going to take them out of stores, too? I could see them. I would be fine with the PG. It has to be rated PG if they're smoking. And then if you're there as a parent, then you be a parent and tell them that smoking is not cool. How did that work with your dad, Woods? What's that? Did he like you smoking? No. Did he rail against it? And see, that's SG&T, too. a little bit L.O.B. because like you would be sitting there doing that constantly about everything. You really would. Well, like to say, you know, oh, you take that opportunity to talk to them about smoking. If we were talking about this particular thing right now. And so it's easy for us to say that. But when you're actually when you're actually in the process, like with my kids, you just don't think of every single thing where you're like, hey, wait a minute. I got to tell you about that. Hey, wait a minute. I got to tell you about that. Hey, wait a minute. Because honestly, like if you watch TV just for a short period of time. Five minutes. Dude, seriously, you'd be pausing that TV and being like, okay, I want to talk to you about this. But if that's your big thing, this is Jay's big thing. Smoking. Well, I know you don't have kids. Right. I know you don't have them. Yeah, but I understand how a human mind works. But I mean, if you had kids, you probably would understand. He's doing a joke about.
I would understand what? How to talk to kids? I know how to talk to kids. But it's different when they're yours. Okay, so what's the difference? Don't you always rally against how it's your job to be a parent? Oh, absolutely. But I don't need any outside influences that are overwhelming. When you put a celebrity in a movie endorsing something, just like ad-libs on the radio station. So they shouldn't do dangerous stuff. Or booze. I'm all about dangerous stuff. But it's what fits for you, then. I didn't marry a guy until I saw Sean Penn do it in milk. There you go. Exactly. I never French kissed a dude until I watched Milk. I never went skateboarding until Jay from the Mikey show said it was cool and then I broke my legs. That's right. That's right. 5701949. What do you think about smoking in movies? Should it be allowed? I think it's SG&T. I mean, hey, I don't want, believe me, if I had kids, which is a stretch, I don't want them to smoke cigarettes. Hell no. I don't want them to smoke cigarettes. And if I ever did get a kid, I wouldn't smoke anymore. I would do my damnedest not to.
I'd like to see that. The kids don't have to watch movies. If kids are watching movies, it's because you're letting them watch it. So it's up to you to assume that. I think it's not necessary for the plot line of the movie. Okay, what about drinking? It's SG&T, though. What I believe, what L.O.B. is saying is SG&T, and here's why. Because there are going to be times when your kid's 12, and what you don't do is you don't go, all right, you're in bed, right? Are you asleep? Okay, cool. Now I can go to bed and I can go to sleep because what happens is you just don't have your eye on your kid 24 hours a day. And I really used to be a believer in that. I really used to think, you know, once you try being a parent, that kind of thing. But now I realize, like, you just you can't.
Can't be there all the time. But you can parent against the things you don't want them to do, regardless of if a celebrity is doing them or not. And you know what you could do? You know what you could do, L.O.B., is you could probably put parental controls. What? Yeah, but I mean. On your TV. For what? So your kids aren't watching. No, no, no, no, no. L.O.B. was making the point of, hey, shouldn't you be telling your kids not to smoke and what to watch? And my point was, well, you can't watch them all the time. You're going to go to bed, and they're going to get up, and they're just going to watch TV. Yeah. Well, it used to be they could advertise on TV and magazines. They put smokes down at the kid's height when you walked in. All the advertisement walking into a 7-Eleven was at kid's height because they were front-loading their product to these kids. Right, and this was all public access. But things like movies, a parent has to go out of their way to purchase a ticket to go there. Not necessarily when you get the movie that comes out on TV. Yeah, you have to purchase that DVD. No, no, no. He's saying, what if it's just on TV? No, it's on TV.
What if Footloose is on cable? CBS. You know, cable TV, and they're just watching it, you know, and that's the thing. You still should be aware of what your kids are watching. You go to bed. Yeah, but you can't shelter them all the time, but you can talk to them about the dangers of smoking, of sex, of drunk driving, of anything. You know what I just realized? You can't just blame a movie. You know what I realized we're all doing? And I've always thought that. Why do we do this? We forget. what it was like being a kid. I don't. Dude, well, here's what's weird about it. We get into this like parental mode when we're, because now we're grownups. I'm 41, L-O-B's 30, Wood's 36, Jay is 48. And we get to this point in maturity where we start to talk about kids like we're grown up. I do it too. And we stop thinking about what it was like to actually be a kid and we go, okay, well, what would, what would have worked on me? What, what, you know, what would, is there anything that would, here's the bottom line. I think I'm trying to raise our three boys the best that I possibly can. A lot of it has to do with them. You can raise a kid the best you possibly can and they can end up smoking weed. You know, you could do the best job you possibly can. In fact, the other, I was thinking about it this morning and I was thinking about parenting and I was thinking to myself, I don't know how to do this.
You know, I'm doing the best that I can, but I don't really know how to do this. And in terms of spending time with the kids and stuff, I mean, I mean this genuinely. I literally don't know what to do with my kids. I literally do not know what to do with my kids. And this is a learning on the job thing. And I want to be a good father. Now, for me, what I have to go on as example and what my dad did pass on to me. was really good principles and stuff like that. So I know how to do that with my kids. You know, what I don't know how to do is knock the ball around and do all that kind of stuff. And so I have to consciously go, I have to have you guys tell me, literally go, Mike, you got to play with your kids and their friends when they come over. I was genuinely like, really? Like I had no idea. You see me when I came to your house the other day? I just grab them and just start throwing them around. And that's... what they love more than anything. Take them in the pool. Jump around with them. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Woods, and I'm going to give you a genuine... I've told this story one time because it's so embarrassing. It's weird. It's so weird. It's so weird that I get... It creeps me out to tell the story. But I have... When Jake was born, it's not bad like this anymore, but when Jake was born...
I had a major discomfort to him being uncomfortable. If he cried, we needed to pacify it and help him and stop that crying immediately. And I felt that Rebecca didn't have a sense of urgency. And she did. She had a perfectly normal sense of urgency. I had a hypersensitive sense of urgency. Make you angry? Yes. Made me angry. Now, what was I? I was really fearful. Yes. Very fearful. And whenever Jake was crawling, I almost felt like I wanted to be right behind him with my hands out. Because if he hurt himself, it was under my watch. I was responsible. It was like this complete and total projection on what a monster I am. Okay? And I believe. It had to do with my own childhood because I didn't feel safe. Now, I'm talking to my brother about it one night, late at night. He came to visit. I rarely see him. He doesn't come to visit very often. He's my oldest brother. He came in and we were sitting talking one night. My brother is a gun collector. And he says, Mike, you know what I find interesting? Because I was telling him that story. He says, you know what I find interesting? He says, you and I were raised by the same parents. And as many guns as I collect.
I can never get enough guns in my hand to make me feel safe. Wow. And I was like, oh, man. Whoa. There was something to that, you know? But anyway, here was the weird thing. So when Jake was an infant, I sat down in this chair. You know, it was like, and I was so afraid to hold him. And his head bounced and hit my chest. And he started crying. And it upset me. And I started crying that I had heard that. He had done that because I was such an idiot. I didn't know how to sit in a chair without bouncing his head and hitting my chest. And he was crying. And I punched myself in the face. It's crazy. I know. It's so weird. I know. That's why I love you. It's so weird. Dude, even saying it now makes my skin crawl. That I was so weird. I've never known anybody to do something so whacked out. And I told my shrink about it. And she goes,
I call her the Michael Jordan of Shrinks. She goes, I want you to sit in that chair. And I go, oh, and we have a really good relationship. And I didn't want to do some stupid, like existential exercise. Like, please, it's so dumb. Talk to me. I said, please, I don't want to do a dumb thing. And she goes, just please humor me. And she knew that I felt it was silly and stupid. And I did. I thought it was so dorky. So I got and I sat in the other chair and she goes, I want you to pretend that you are you and that you as a child is sitting in the couch across from you. And I said, OK. And she said, what would you like for the little you to say right now to you? And I mean, tears started flying out of my I mean, not just it wasn't a slow deal. It was a. I mean, they were just pouring over my eyes. And the message that I was getting was protect me. That's what I wanted him to say to me. Protect me. And that was for me. And if anybody's listening right now and they have that weird thing with their kid where they're, oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh. Don't trip out. It probably has to do with when you were a kid and how safe you felt and whatever. And I still struggle with it. I still struggle with throwing Jake around.
terrified he's going to get hurt. And I can see when Woods does it, he loves it more than anything Jake does. They all do. But I always feel like if they got hurt, I feel like I couldn't live with myself. Imagine Luke strapping that helmet on and those shoulder pads on and the first time he hits the hole, dude, running up the middle and somebody cleans his clock and he's out cold. You just gave Like, I could literally feel my heart starting to beat faster. I'm telling you, it's going to be the same for me. You just said that, and I could literally go, oh, wow, I felt my heart start to beat faster. Dude, but here's the thing. When I was a little kid, I played baseball. My brother did too. My brother takes baseball to the head, knocks him out cold. I mean, at the plate, wham, and he's out. My dad rushes over from the bench. My mom runs from the bleachers. I run up to the fence, and I'm holding the chain link, looking through it, and he's out. Holy cow. Flat on his back. Like passed out. The hardest thrower in the league, Matt Bubb. I still remember his name. Oh, bing! Right off the head. Oh, my gosh. About a minute later, my dad's over and Brent, wake up, wake up. And Brent wakes up. My dad goes, what day is it? And my brother goes, it's today. What do you think? Just like that. He got up, shook out the cobwebs, and finished the game. And that is, that's how resilient.
Yep. Kids are. Yeah. Stitches, broken arms, legs. I mean, everything. It's going to happen. You're going to lose your mind by the time. Well, you have two the same age. But by the time the one that catches up is getting hurt, you'll be like, whatever, more stitches. I don't know if anybody else is like this. Sometimes people will tell me my kid did this and it. That makes me want to come out of my skin. Watch Jay's kid, Jasper, on the half pipe in his backyard, and your heart's racing, and he's eight years old, and he's... And you're like, oh, God. I couldn't do it. I don't know that I could watch. There's nothing worse than when you do hurt them, and it's totally your fault, though. Oh, gosh, dude. You just tell them you're sorry. And accidents happen. Jasper jammed his arm real bad, because I was trying to help him do a new trick, and he was just bawling. And I couldn't tell him I was sorry enough. He came over afterwards and was like, it's okay, Dad. Oh, man. You should probably keep Woods away from your kids, though, because he smokes and dips. Yes. Monster. Yeah, because you can't see it in the movies. Yeah. That's probably really bad for him. He walks around the corner. Yeah, I do. I don't ever smoke in front of him. Uh-uh. Ever. No. Not cigarettes. He smokes hashish in front of him. That's hash oil. Hash oil.
570-194-9. Luke. They hold the lighter. I get it from Luke. He's selling it. He's got to sample it first. Wood saw Lukey pick up something that was a feather. And I told him, I said, dude, that's nothing. Dude, a scooter. This kid is two years old. But he's tiny. He's a... foot high and he's lean, dude. He looks like the guy from Urban Cowboy West with the mess shirt. He's just lean, dude. He's identical Luke. He is. This kid takes this scooter, which he's not supposed to be on anyway. It's taller than he is. Picks it up and just walks with it. And I go, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. And Mike's like, oh yeah, it's nothing. The kid is unbelievable. He can literally pick up metal toolboxes with tools in them. He has Freakish, freakish strength. It's unbelievable. He is ten times stronger than his twin brother, who's probably twice his size. Yes. Easily. Not twice his size. Three. Three times. Three times. When Luke is seven years old, he will be in the gym, and I'm not kidding, at school, doing one-arm pull-ups. Yeah. Like Rocky. Yeah, wow. I'm not kidding. Yeah. It's hysterical. M1 Anonymous from San Diego. Mikey, you're going to be okay.
Thank you. I'm raising two myself, three and six, and I live out in the country and we've got to contend with rattlesnakes and all kinds of crazy stuff. And if you teach them right and just like Wood said, just pick them up, throw them around and they're resilient. Trust me. I have a question and your answer is going to terrify me. Have your kids seen a rattlesnake? On the last couple of years, they've seen three. Oh, oh my gosh. I just imagine Luke because I know him. He'd be like, oh, I'm going to fling that thing around. You'd be surprised. Kids shut down. All our kids, we were at Joshua Tree and they climbed up over a rock and there was a snake sitting on the ledge right there. And Jasper just like slowly backed up. He's like, dad, there's a snake up there. Really? Yeah. Oh, dude. Oh, gosh. That makes me so nervous. And that didn't make you. If it were me, we're going. See you. Bye. We're going home. You just, you know. I would call 911. I'd say, send a helicopter. Yeah. Fly us out of here right now. I got a game you can play with your boys. What? It's really easy and it's really fun. You go home, you get on all fours, and you just say, you know, climb the mountain and let them climb all over you. Those kids will pee themselves and be so happy. They could climb all day long and never see each other. Wow. Oops. Sorry. They could climb all day. And never see each other. Never see each other.
Well, they could actually climb for a year, Mike. Full year. They need to bring extra gear. Yeah. Extra water. Yeah. Food, snacks. That's right. Luke is still lost. Just stuck here in Daddy's Rolls. All right, still got to get the Kim Delaney thing. And the parody commercial for Red Flag Perfume. And we do have Mikey Show Live. We have some more of your live studio audience. Be back after this. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's Proustic. Excellent job, Mikey. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is it, the Built Ford Tough sales event. And in this corner, the undisputed champion Ford F-Series, America's best-selling trucks for 34 years and counting.
Buy a new F-150 SuperCrew now and get a $1,000 trade-in bonus plus zero APR for 60 months. That's right, zero APR plus a $1,000 bonus on top of what your trade is worth. Between all that cash and no-charge financing, we're talking about a serious one-two knockout punch. Learn more at SanDiegoCountyFord.com. Then see your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer. Don't miss the Built for Tough sales event. Ford. built for San Diego. Not all buyers will qualify for Ford credit financing. 60 months at $16.67 per month for $1,000 financed regardless of down payment. Excludes Raptor. $1,000 trade in bonus cash available to customers who trade in a 1996 or newer car, truck, or SUV. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 1031.11. Oktoberfest is a celebration of the harvest. It turns into one of the biggest celebrations of the year as millions flock to Munich. Since Munich is halfway around the world, join FM 94.9 and Beck's Beer at Rocktoberfest. October 22nd, 30th and University in North Park. Celebrate your harvest. Or new job. Or oil change. Check out live music from Everest. The Soft Pack. The Style Tones. And more.
Fill up on all kinds of German food and wash it down with a German beer, like Beck's Oktoberfest, a classic German beer that's amber in color with hints of caramel and toasted nut. It's only available from now through October. There's hundreds of Oktoberfests, but only one Rocktoberfest. So join the party October 22nd in North Park and celebrate every day with Beck's Oktoberfest, available for a limited time. For Rocktoberfest tickets or details, go to fm949sd.com. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again, because the majority of those companies actually work for the credit card companies, and they make the credit card companies a lot of money from people just like you. But there's another way out of debt, and it's not bankruptcy, a way to reduce your debts and save you thousands of dollars. Even better, you can find out how for free by calling 1-800-700-6617. At Freedom Debt Relief, we're not a credit counseling organization. We're not a debt consolidation company. We offer a unique alternative to save you the most money possible to resolve your debt in the shortest amount of time. If you're thinking about a credit counselor, ask yourself this. Are they working for you or the credit card companies? Reduce your debts and save thousands of dollars by learning the secrets to settling your debt.
For free information, call 1-800-700-6617. That's 1-800-700-6617. 1-800-700-6617. If you like exciting low prices on groceries, the Vons Circular is fresh off the presses with some of the hottest deals in town. It's your guide to fantastic Vons Club specials at Vons, plus amazing deals for this weekend only. So plan for the weekend and the week ahead. To give you an idea of the kind of deals we're talking about, check out these outstanding Vons Club specials. It's our mix and match event. You'll get 50 cents off each participating item when you buy eight or more items on top of great Vons Club prices. Mix and match items like eight packs of Gatorade for only $3.99 each, plus CRV selected varieties. General Mills Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cheerios for just $1.89 each. And Dreyer's Ice Cream for only $2.99 each. Selected varieties. And it's easy to stay healthy this flu season when you get a flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll get 10% off your groceries. Don't miss the huge weekend sale this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at Vons. Look for the pullout in this week's Vons ad. Vons, ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. Whether it's an earthquake, wildfire, or other unforeseen event, emergencies can and do happen.
To find out more, visit sdge.com slash safety. Lord, the God of hamburgers, thank you, it tastes glorious. Thank you, thank you for your greatest creation, the Steakhouse Burger from Carl's Jr. The new Steakhouse $6 burger from Carl's Jr. 100% black Angus beef, crumbled blue cheese, crispy onion strings, and A1 steak sauce. Tastes like it's made by the God of hamburgers, and that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, A1 is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods. Live from Progressive. Flo here. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings.
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Now get 0% APR financing for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited at your SoCal Jeep dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy 17 city and 21 highway for Wrangler two-door. Actual results may vary based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 finance for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment and finance through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end 1031. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go. Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise. Mikey Show live in our studio. If you want to come into Mikey Show Live, just go to MikeyShow.com, and you can fill out a little deal there and come on into the studio. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared's website. He does graphic design better than anybody I've ever met in my life, and I hope that we work together forever. He did our website. He does business cards. He does anything that you need graphic design-wise and truly incredible. This weekend was...
The premiere of Saturday Night Live. And I don't watch it forever, but I did think that this was kind of funny. It was a parody commercial called Red Flag Perfume. It's pretty funny. She can stop every conversation just by entering the room. She can change your night with a single look. And if you ask her what she does, she'll tell you, I'm a dancer. She's gorgeous, wealthy, a free spirit. And her ex-boyfriend was a club promoter. She knows exactly where to go, exactly what to do, and all her friends are dudes. She's exquisite, but she also lived in Vegas for 11 years. She's funny, but not...
Funny like ha-ha. Funny like yikes. And her pinky nail is way... Perfume by Chanel. The only perfume that warms men. Smells like trouble. So genius. It's pretty good. Alec Baldwin, again. Yeah, dude, he just set a record for hosting Saturday Night Live. 16 times. That's crazy. He's great. He's great. He's great every time he does it. Crazy. Very funny. Red flag. More teenagers are having unprotected sex. Must be the movies. Yes. Must be. Nothing wrong with sex. And they are confused about contraception. A new multinational survey shows the number of young people having unsafe sex rose 39% in the U.S. over the last three years. Yeah. Again.
What are you going to do? Teach them. You could tell them what your expectation and morals are. I thought that didn't work. You just have to take it out of the movies so they don't see it. You can't. You can't. We spend all that on education, and we also tell them, but they still do it. Go figure. Yeah. Same with smoking. Same with smoking, though, Jay. If it's true for one, it's got to be true for the other. Yeah, but I think that overall... And I guess sex can kill them if they catch a disease, but it doesn't guarantee to cause them different types of cancer, emphysema. No, but it causes disease. Oh, yeah. Well, it can. It causes types of cancer. Smoking doesn't always cause those either. It can be the cause. More than likely. What's the virus that the women carry? HPV. HPV leads to cervical cancer. Direct correlation. And is extraordinarily high among teenagers. Wrap that rascal. Rob that rascal. But they don't do that in the movies. Don't they? They just shove it right there. No, dude. When's the last time you watched a movie where they pull out a Trojan? On Knocked Up? Yeah, that was the only one. And then he didn't use it. Name your top five condom scenes. I could tell you a bunch of movies that have condom scenes in it. That's weird. I'll give you my top 16, because they're in my wallet.
I wrote them on my Trojan. I know every condom movie ever made. I know every sex scene ever made. That's right. One with condoms, one's without. It's probably Lady Gaga's fault, actually. Why? Just because. She has that song called Do It Without Protection. Right. Don't Wear a Rubber. She has a song called Don't Wear a Rubber. Don't use a sponge. It's a good song. And then poker face, which we all know what that means. Well, I don't know that she meant it. I think she meant it a different way. I like it a lot better now. Actual poker face. Actual poker face, you know. Actual poker face. By the way, I want to say thank you to Fresh Healthy Vending. This is a cool idea. They're from here in San Diego, and they brought some stuff in today. They do healthy, fresh. vending machines, which is a great idea when you think about it because of how many people are going the healthy route. Any donuts in there? No donuts, bro. Vegetables, fruits, smoothies, yogurts. Pirate's booty. Pirate's booty. That's a little inappropriate. 100% juices. Now, here's the thing. I was mentioned to the gal that brought this stuff in. I said, if there was a healthy, but here's the caveat, but delicious,
fast food place, I think it'd be a hit. See, because the problem is a lot of times I'll go, I need to get something and I'm in a hurry and I actually don't want fast food, fast food. I wish that there was a drive-through because you're in a hurry and you can go through there and all the stuff on there tastes really, really good, but it's healthy and it's not bad for you. I don't think that there is a place like that. Chick-fil-A is okay. I mean, if you get it without mayo and all that stuff. Yeah, you get a grilled chicken sandwich. No, dude, that stuff is still bad for you. It's not bad for you. It's better for you than a pigman. How about Chipotle? I don't think that that's... Yeah, and you can't drive up to it either. Can't drive through Chipotle. No, but not only that, that stuff's got a lot of calories. Yeah. You know, I mean... I mean, you're looking for somewhere you can drive through and get a piece of grilled chicken or a piece of grilled fish. Yeah, because, I mean, when you think about it, you can go to any fast food restaurant and they usually... have a grilled chicken selection, a grilled chicken selection. I'm just saying, if there was a place called McHealthy's, you drive through, the whole menu is good. There's a place on the east called Salad Works, where it's all variations of a salad.
You still have to go inside, but it's the closest thing to picking up something quick that's healthy. But see, if I get a salad, I'm throwing ranch on there. I'm throwing a little cheese on there, ham. It's going to be – might as well eat a Big Mac. No. Yes. Might as well. You need a drive-thru place. Yeah, I agree. It serves healthy food. Just grilled fish and brown rice. Well, I mean, see, and that's the thing. It doesn't taste good. Exactly. Doesn't taste good. And that's the thing. Healthy food can taste good. You just got to change your conditioning. Yeah. And the portion. Yeah. Especially portion. You hear that? Portion. It's the first time I've ever done that. Played the same song. Third time today. Second. Third. It was third. It was. Biggie, Queen, and the feast. Biggie. First song of the game. Biggie. Oh, that's right. I did do it three times. Third time's a charm. Why the big waves in San Diego and when? I know when and why. We'll tell you next. Make some noise in our live studio audience.
570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Bex. October 22nd, 30th and University. Featuring Everest. The Soft Pack, Dead Feather Moon, The Style Tones, Low Volts, and Heavy Guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com. Never an easy decision. But when the passion is gone and things have become boring and predictable, the answer will be crystal clear. We're all grown-ups here. You know when it's time to move on. So go ahead. Test drive that new BMW 328i sedan you've had your eye on. The timing is perfect. Right now, BMW is offering a $1,000 credit on the 2011 328i sedan, along with attractive lease and finance offers, but only for a limited time. And as you build those strong bonds on the open road with your ultimate driving machine.
You won't be weighed down by the baggage of any maintenance costs for four years or 50,000 miles. Hurry into a BMW center today for a test drive. The chemistry will be immediate. For no-cost maintenance details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease a 328i sedan for $299 a month and get a $1,000 credit. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. If you like exciting low prices on groceries, the Vons Circular is fresh off the presses with some of the hottest deals in town. It's your guide to fantastic Vons Club specials at Vons, plus amazing deals for this weekend only. So plan for the weekend and the week ahead. To give you an idea of the kind of deals we're talking about, check out these outstanding Vons Club specials. It's our mix and match event. You'll get 50 cents off each participating item when you buy eight or more items on top of great Vons Club prices. Mix and match items like eight packs of Gatorade for only $3.99 each, plus CRV selected varieties. General Mills Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cheerios for just $1.89 each. And Dreyer's Ice Cream for only $2.99 each. Selected varieties.
And it's easy to stay healthy this flu season when you get a flu shot at the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll get 10% off your groceries. Don't miss the huge weekend sale this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at Vons. Look for the pullout in this week's Vons ad. Vons, ingredients for life. Age restrictions apply. See pharmacy for details. Coupon expires one week from issue. Other restrictions may apply. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip.
Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults in at Kids Price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. Policies issued by American General Life Insurance Company, Houston, Texas. Not available in all states. For details, visit matrixdirect.com. Sometimes I worry about what would happen to my family if I lost my job, but I never really thought about what would happen to them if they lost me and I didn't have life insurance. My cousin's husband died, and now she might have to sell her house just to make ends meet. I don't ever want to put my wife through that. So I called Matrix Direct. Hi, I'm Brent Langdon for Matrix Direct. We partnered with American General Life to find you their lowest rates on term life insurance products. If you're 40 years old and married, we could find you a quarter of a million dollar policy for less than $16 a month. Call now for a free, no-obligation quote. 1-800-551-8505. I feel so much better now that I called. It only takes five minutes to see how you could save up to 70%. Call now. 1-800-551-8505. 1-800-551-8505. Today is the day. It's Toyota's final clearance.
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Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans, 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide, and exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd. Open an account today at missionfed.com or stop by any of our 22 local branches. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is an equal housing lender and is federally insured by the NCUA. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts and the previews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Make some noise in our live studio audience here today. So.
Why will surf be good here in San Diego? Well, first of all, they're saying that it'll be good on Wednesday. Why? Because of Hurricane Hillary. Yay for Hillary. That's right. That is our midday DJ. That's correct. You can't just call her a hurricane. Well, no, it's an actual hurricane. It's a real one. In the Pacific Ocean, Category 4, and winds up to 140. 140 miles per hour, yeah. Now, as long as the water's hot and warm and... It's good. But if it hits any cold water, it's done. Peter's out. Our water's pretty cold lately. Now, so far, the only kind of hurricane swell that we've had here in San Diego was from Hurricane Eugene during the U.S. Open at the end of July. But that's it. So maybe Wednesday, if you're a surfer, you have some good stuff. Big Wednesday. Let's do it, Jay. So there it is. What else? Okay, so Kim Delaney. I don't know who Kim Delaney is. She's an actress, maybe? She's a famous actress. She's super famous. Well, I just figured I didn't know who it was. Does anybody? Nope, all right. You don't know? Well, we may just be not so up on stuff. That's true. Ah, look it up. I don't want to play this if nobody knows. See, I see it, and I'm like, well, everybody probably knows that. I recognize her. I looked her up. The name sounds kind of familiar. Army Wives?
Well, she was in Army Wives. Well, then forget it. Well, we could talk, Mike, if you want it. I don't know. Talk about the fact that Jay cuts his own hair. Yeah, let's talk. That is a true story. That is a true statement. Jay got a haircut. And he didn't go somewhere. No. I have my own clippers. And cut his own hair. And by my own clippers, I mean. Scissors I stole from Clear Channel. Yeah, they were Eddie's. I took them right out of Eddie's desk before I left. I think he used them for his nose hairs, but it's fun. Touche, Mike. It's a full-on clipper set. It's got all the different attachments, so all I do is I put it on eight. Do the whole head. Hey, Woods, supper cuts is six bucks, man. Yes, it's super cuts, Jay. Not supper cuts. They don't feed you while you're there. Six dollars. And then they've got these wedges that you can do the sides with. You ramp, ramp, and then you're done. Who does the back? Kim will square it up for me. And while I'm at it, I'll trim all the trees and bushes to make everything look a little bigger. It's one of the worst things I've ever heard. You got to knock the foliage back. What's foliage? Well, in his case, white powdery salt and pepper. It looks like a wig from Thomas Jefferson might wear. Yeah. Barbara Bush. Yeah. Literally.
How wiry. It's wiry. It's like a Brillo pet. Disgusting. Just look in the mirror. So you knock all that out at the same time, huh? All at the same time. That must be a treat. It's got to be clean. You just standing. Where do you do it? Where do you do it? Just upstairs. In the kitchen. In the kitchen. Where do you do that, Jen? In your bathroom. Where do you do it? Where does it fall? Just on the floor, and then they bring a vacuum in. Where does it fall in a barbershop? Hey, listen. I'm going to tell you what to do. Okay. Somebody taught me this. Okay. When you're shaving your beard, this is what I do when I'm shaving my goatee. You mean on your face? Yeah, this is what I do when I'm shaving my goatee. I'm going to give you this. Okay. This is what I want you to do. Okay. Now what? I want you to get a garbage bag, the kind that you put in the garbage, the plastic garbage bag. Right. Lay it on the floor. Stand on it. Okay. And when you're done, you just... Or a towel. Do you one better. No, not a towel. It doesn't shake out of a towel. Listen, you don't have to use a towel. You get in a dry tub. You get in a dry tub. You do your business. Clean everything you've got to clean. Dry tub. Okay. Then you're going to put all that down the drain. No way. It will do so. Oh, yeah, it will. That'll do damage. On a tile floor.
Just like at the barbershop. It's hideous. You just vacuum it up. You have a vacuum. I have a vacuum. I like J's better than the plastic bag. Why? It's very wasteful. Why am I going to stand in a plastic bag? It's going to choke a seagull. My wife's going to come in with a gun and shoot me in the head, and then she's going to just bag me up and take me away. He's on his tile floor trimming his boys. That is hideous. Where would you do it? In the dry stuff. Here's the deal, J. This is why I'm anti-J way. Okay? From this point forward, anybody that goes to Jay's house is going to be like, oh gosh. You're never going to be in my bathroom. How do you know? Because it's upstairs. In his bedroom. It's a master. If you're in there, then there's trouble. You and I are bathing together. There's another way to do it, and it's over the toilet. You can do it over the toilet, and then you just flush, and it's all good. I've done it, but I feel like a hooker. I feel like Eileen Wuornos in Monster. I feel like Eileen Wuornos in Monster. Everybody does it. Thank you all for the visuals. Everybody does it. But it works. It works. I'll do the beard outside. I feel like I should take a brown piece of newspaper and clean my underarms.
In the restroom sink with a pink powder soap. Yeah, just push your mullet bottom out of the way. Hang on. Just feather the top part of it. Yeah, just feathering the top part of your hair. Hey, somebody in there. Just give me a minute. A little dried blood into the nails. Hillary, that's foul. Just give me a minute. I said... Get! Get! Get! It's actual audio if I leave her nose. It's so gross. My wife would murder me if she walked in on our tile floor and I'm just... Me too, dude. Oh my... My wife... He's doing shaving motions over his crotch. She'd go, are you out of your mind? If my wife was like... Because you're bound to miss one. Yes! No way. No way. The garbage bag trick is the greatest trick. And it's great for, you know what I have? For my goatee, I have the small waste basket. Yes, that's good. The small waste basket, white plastic bag. You put it down, you shave, you fold it up, you throw it away. And then when you do your whole body, you do like a 55-gallon bag.
So, Mike, if you want to shave your body, what do you do? You get like a hot air balloon? You get a sail? You get a real sail from a sailboat? You get a sailboat. Lay it out in the yard. Just lay it out, right? And shave, right? And then you have a big old Huey fly in, pick it up. Carry it to the reservoir. And dump it in the reservoir. SeaWorld checks in. Oh, my gosh. Keep splashing you with water. Oh, my gosh. Cover his blowhole. Keep him wet. Keep his gills wet. Yo. So it is. Hillary, how are you? I'm good, you guys. How are you? We're always talking about something weird. Yeah, when you walk in. I know. Never fails. Every time. It's kind of fun. I never know what I'm going to get. How was your weekend? It was really good. Really good. I took my mom for a hike up in the L.A. area for her 70th birthday. I saw you up there. I was up there too. Mike and I were hiking. We saw you. No, it was not. That sounds so healthy and good. It was healthy and good. It was awesome. Yeah.
Hillary, what do you got coming up next? Oh, gosh. Well, I listened to the White Denim record a lot while I was driving up there and back this weekend, so I'm going to play something off that. Also, I just read this interview with Perry Farrell, and he compared the new Jane's Addiction sound on the new record to two bands, and it kind of tripped me out that he would even name check. modern pants as influences. So I'll talk about that. Play something off the new James Addiction, some Rise Against, Chili Peppers, and then Dead Kennedys, and a really good Desert Island Discs at noon. There you go. They got Monday Night Football tonight at Dave and Buster's. If you can beat your boy at Papa Shot, you'll have a chance to win Chargers tickets. 430 to 630, 2931, Camino, Del Rio North. It's Dave and Buster's. Lovely and talented. Hillary's up next. We'll come back tomorrow morning at 6. Do it again. Mikey Show's out. Get.