The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/30/10

1:12Welcome to the Mikey Show. Every Bubba. Love you. We'd like to talk to you. And you can call us right now. 570-1949. We are ready. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And text 949Mikey at gmail.com. That's how you get a hold of us. And say hello. There's a lot of news out there today. We've got a lot of stuff to talk about. Let's see, real quickly, let you know, Neil Diamond will be making a stop by this morning at 7.30. None too pleased, my friend. He's not happy. Word of the day is knapsack. Sometime between now and ten, you're going to hear me use the word knapsack real cleverly in a sentence. And when you do, you have to really listen for it. Caller number nine will receive a four-pack of tickets to Wild Animal Park. Jay, how much is that worth?

2:16I'm still checking on that. It's worth a lot. Yes. Tell you that. It's worth a lot. Yeah. Those tickets are like 80-some bucks a piece or something. They're a lot. And so when you hear it, caller number 9 at 570-194-9 will win. Huge news out there. Greg Giraldo. Comedian Craig Giraldo. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Yes. Yeah. Greg Giraldo. He is a friend of Craig's who was in yesterday, Craig Gass. Yep. And, you know, Craig was telling us about how he had overdosed on pills, but that he was alive. Well, he was, you know, at least yesterday morning, but he passed away, which is really sad. That's sad. Do we have any details about it, Woodsy? You know. The only thing that I saw was that he passed away in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and as we talked about yesterday, he did overdose on pills. They don't say what. They don't say what. It's really just the article I found is just really kind of a testament on his life and the things that he did. I mean, he made a lot of appearances on Letterman, Conan, on Howard Stern a lot, was really big into the Comedy Central roasts, which are, if you've never seen them.

3:38The funniest thing ever. Really talented guy. Really funny dude. But, man, yeah, it's just crazy. We were just talking about yesterday, and he's, like we said, a friend of Craig Gass's, and Craig Gass lost a lot of buddies to drugs and alcohol over the years. I think he said he lost seven guys the year after he got sober, which is just insane. But as far as details, they're sketchy right now. Well, Jon Stewart. who also knew him and was fond of him, made the announcement on his show last night. Difficult news to report. Our good friend Greg Giraldo passed away today. And so Comedy World lost a good man and a great comic. Was the type of guy that when you were working the clubs, he was just one of those guys that you loved to run into because he was always a font of warmth and good humor and just smart as hell comedy. Fun to watch and funner to hang out with, and we will miss him terribly. So he was obviously, like Woodsy was saying, he did the roast and stuff like that. Really, really funny comic. You're getting fatter by the second. That's why everybody has to go on these stupid diets. Every week there's like a new diet, the caveman diet. You know, all fat. Eat just meat. Eat all the meat you want. And you get skinny just by eating meat. That'll work. Eat all the meat all day long. Just meat, meat, meat.

5:07And you'll get skinny, like a caveman. That's not going to work in the long run. The reason cavemen were skinny is because before they ate something, they had to chase it around for a week and kill it with a stick. I mean, yeah, if you had to track a pint of Haagen-Dazs across the tundra for five days before you beat it with a boulder, sure, that would work. Funny guy. Yep. Very sad news. He used to practice law and just kind of later in his life started doing comedy. He went to like Harvard. He went to Columbia and Harvard. Yeah. Smart dude. My goodness. Well, very sad news. Yeah, there's nothing really to report as far as details, but you know. Yeah, because I wonder if it was a suicide, meaning that he took the pills and overdosed on him that way, or if he was taking pills that it was accidental. Yeah, they were telling it as accidental. It was an accidental overdose. Well, it's sad. Let's see. Didn't introduce the show. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. Sienna's on maternity leave. Jay's our producer. And our phone screener is Gronk. Gronk. Gronk. Gronk. Gronk. The other big news yesterday was Kasim Osgood, former San Diego Charger number 81, friend of the Mikey show. Yeah.

6:27That, you know, he got traded to the Jacksonville Jaguars and he got pistol whipped. Yeah. So it's a crazy, crazy story. It is. It is a crazy story. He is hanging out with a 19-year-old Jaguars cheerleader, which you're not supposed to do. I didn't know she was a cheerleader. It's absolutely against the rules. You cannot fraternize, you know, mix business with pleasure. Yeah. I'm sure it happens. It's happened a million times. And by the way, not only is it a rule, it's a pretty big rule. Really? Oh, yeah. Why? Because they just don't want it. Because of things like this. Yeah, why? That's why. Yeah. Well, this is a crazy guy. Right, but they don't want any bad story. And it could be about, I mean, if there's a bad breakup and one person is saying something really bad about the team. Yeah. You know, and there's the old, you know, dip your pen in the company ink bit, you know, and that's, they're all on the same. Same team, per se. I've interviewed those Charger girls before, and even off the air, off the air, they've said, oh, yeah, no way. Like, you know you will get, you be off the squad so fast, blah, blah, blah. But they get paid pretty nominally, marginally. They used to not get paid. They don't get paid at all. Yeah, if they get paid now. I think Cowboys cheerleaders make $15 a game, something, like, absurd. Yeah, it used to be that they didn't get paid. Charger girls didn't get paid, and they had.

7:51A ton of public appearances to make as well. You just did it because it looked good on your resume. Yeah. So, yeah, you're right. If something goes wrong, then they could start to sue. Yeah, just terrible. So he's hanging out with this girl, Mackenzie Ray Putnell, and they're hanging out in what sounds like they're at her apartment. And you know how some apartment complexes have like a game room? Yeah. Where they have like a big screen TV, a pool table, you know, a bar. Sounds like they're hanging out in there and they are watching TV. Well, her ex-boyfriend comes in. Points a gun at him and says, I can't believe you're with that guy. Pulls her around the room by her hair. Boyfriend's 20. Yeah, and he had a plastic bag on his face. Yeah, a bag over his head. Wait, wait, wait. His disguise or his blah, blah, blah was a plastic bag? Yeah, plastic bag. Maybe somebody should tell him that you can suffocate with that kind of a mask. Choking hazard. Yes. He pulls her around the room by her hair. Then he pops Kasim in the face with his pistol. Uh-huh. I mean, dude, that's your... You're inches and seconds away from death. Yeah. Right there. So then he took her cell phone, tackled her. He ordered the couple to sit on the floor. She escaped downstairs. Oh, no, they were at her parents' home, in the game room of her parents' home. Oh, wow. And she grabbed a gun. They both shot at each other and missed. And then he jumped out the window. Kasim jumped out the window. Kasim jumped out the window. Yeah, I read that he put a chair under the door. Yep.

9:16to keep the door of the bedroom or whatever that he was in, you know, closed, and then dove out the window. And then went to a neighbor's house and called police. Right. Yeah, she is no longer listed on the team's website. The team has a rule forbidding cheerleaders to date players. Now, what will be his? You know, I guess punishment from the team, from the Jaguars. Probably not much. Not much, yeah. Bigger for the girls. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and Coach Jack Del Rio said, quote, he's fine. I'm aware of it. I really can't comment on that whole deal. He's doing okay. Oh, my gosh. How scary. Yeah, he had minor bruises, but, dude, I mean, you're injured from death. How about a gun pointed at your face? Yeah. Oh, it must have been terrifying. Must have been terrifying. I just kept picturing the Goodfellas scene where Ray Liotta pissed the lips that guy from across the street to me and he sticks my stomach. Yeah. It's terrible. Terrible. Hope he's all right. Yeah, no doubt. You know, I follow him on Twitter. Me too. And I say his last, the last tweet that I saw from him was, I think, on Sunday. Did he say, go and watch a movie? Did he say, can I get some? He said something like,

10:32And then it came next, and it was never mind. It said something like, be a nice day for a Snuggie and a thing of hot cider, something like that. Really? Yeah. Oh, gosh. That's code. That's code. Yeah, I'm going to go to this chick's house and watch a movie in her parents' game room. Gosh. Well, he's all right. Maybe her name was Cider. Maybe her name was Cider. Yeah. Well, I think we know it was McKenzie. It was McKenzie. Maybe it was a nickname. It was a nickname. They call her cider. Man, they need some hot cider. Cider is her name in the evening. She's from Vermont. She's from Vermont. You know, the woman was accosted. We might give her a little bit of a break. My goodness. You know, that doesn't happen to you. What? What? A guy that doesn't go on a date with a girl? Hey, what's the rules, pal? What rules? Oh, oh, oh. He shouldn't have been dating her. Yeah. Yeah, well, you're right. Well, if you're dealing with a crazy person, you can't predict when that's going to happen. But Woods is right. Had he followed the rules, it wouldn't have happened. I mean, that is a fact. It's a fact. That's a true fact. That's simply a fact. It wouldn't have happened with this particular guy in this particular situation. Some other dude would have been pistol-whipped. Yeah, another guy would have been pistol-whipped. We'd never heard about it. Right. But, I mean, that part you can't deny because that's just factual. Meg Whitman's...

11:53You said this earlier, and I agree. I don't like either candidate for the governor of California. I don't like either one. Isn't that the worst? What do you do? You have to vote your party, I guess. I'm so tired of it. I'm listening to Pandora, and Meg Whitman's got her claws in all of the advertising there. What is that? It's... Pandora is made online when you listen to music. There's a little app called Pandora, and it sort of makes a little radio station for you. Yeah, personalized. Your personal taste. You put, like, one song in, and it'll start to make things based on that. You can thumbs up things. Yeah, I like that. No, I don't like this. Mix it up a little bit. And it'll keep finding stuff you like. Yeah, and then every, like, I don't know, maybe half an hour or something, there's a mandatory commercial unless you pay for a subscription, a premium. Right. They're like, hi, I'm Meg Whitman. I'm like, no! No. Those are the worst. Has there ever been... I was thinking about this the other day. I was watching the slander campaign that they run against each other. Well, Jerry Brown one time when he was in college. Exactly. I saw that. Then I saw Meg Whitman was a filthy little... Jerry Brown hates babies. Yeah, exactly. And Meg Whitman does not like black people. And this message approved by Jerry Brown. And I was wondering, has there ever been a candidate that's come out and said, you know what?

13:08I'm not going to go down this road. I want to talk about me. I want to talk about the issues. Has it ever happened? I think it's crazy. She spent $119 million on her campaign. Of her own money. Of her own money. Where do you get $119 million? Do you get that money back? No. I mean, it doesn't pay that much to be governor. Why do you want it? Power? Yeah. Power. Or, or, or, trying to be altruistic here. Do you do it because you really care about the state that you live in? Has that ever happened? Maybe back in the 1800s. Maybe afterwards you get to travel and tour and do speaking things and make all this money. You can go run up bills at Neiman Marcus. Maybe it's all tax write-off. By the way, if anybody's like, well, Mikey, how come you don't like Meg Whitman? Exactly. I don't know either. In fact, all I know is that I've seen those commercials and just don't like it.

14:12I see her saying that she doesn't like Jerry Brown, and so I go, oh, I don't like you. Yeah. And I don't like Jerry Brown because he doesn't belong to the party I belong to, and I know he was kind of wacky last time he ran this date. That's all I know. So this guy was the governor. And by the way, as you're driving in your car right now or you're at home or whatever you're doing, if you do know a lot about Meg Whitman and you do know a lot about Jerry Brown, you're kind of in the minority. Most people. are probably like me, where they have an opinion, but we don't know why. Right. I told you I had to do a presentation in my last job about eBay. The company I worked for was on a similar path as eBay. It literally, I mean, it was like neck and neck. And so they were saying, hey, when we go public, we're going to be the next eBay. So I had to do this presentation on Meg Whitman. And, you know, as a CEO, dude, great. I mean, dynamite CEO of eBay. Turned it around, made billions of dollars for that company.

15:11But as far as her qualifications of running the state of California, I'm, you know, I have no idea. People should have to at least, like, be a mayor. There should be some sort of, like, I don't know. You have to have some kind of experience. But her deal is that she has, you know, now, I guess she has an illegal immigrant as a household employee. She had. She had. Nikki Diaz Santelan. Santelan. Here's Nikki Diaz Santelan. When I met with Meg Whitman in June 2009, I asked her for her assistance. Why? She cried? Yeah. She's upset. She was there nine years. She worked for her family for nine years. And she fired her because of the public attention? Yeah. The quote from Meg Whitman is, after nine years of faithful service, Nikki came to us in June of 2009 and confessed that she was an illegal worker. I want her to help me get an immigration attorney.

16:19Ms. Whitman just laughed. Ms. Whitman just laughed? Is that what she said? Just laughed? Loved? No, I think she said Ms. Whitman just laughed. We'll play it again. Ms. Whitman just laughed. Yeah, she just laughed. I went to her and asked her for an immigration attorney and Ms. Whitman just laughed. So that must have sounded like this. Ms. Whitman, can you help me find an immigration attorney? Yeah, I find that very easy to believe. That sounds right. That sounds about right. I mean, with most people. I mean, most. It doesn't have to be the evil Dr. Evil. Maybe it was like this then. Ms. Whitman, can you help me find an immigration attorney? Cruella DeVille over there. You're hilarious. Really? Yeah.

17:21Well, she was not obligated to get her an immigration attorney. No. Yeah, but she'd say something like, oh, I'm so sorry. You know, I just can't really do anything for you. But you wouldn't. She was probably furious whether she had alleged that she was legal and then was like. It just seems strange that somebody would be like, oh, I don't know. You silly. And took her face to one side. Dr. Harsh was very angry and said, I told you. I told you she was to bring this. Ms. Whitman turned to him and said, we all saw our fault because we never asked her for anything. Then, one thing, June 4, 2009, I received her call and she told me, I talked to my lawyer and he told me we cannot do it. She said, and from now on, you don't know me and I don't know you. You never... Hey, listen, this is what I can tell you.

19:05We have a nanny named Claudia from Mexico who works on a legal visa. She's trying to get citizenship. So she wanted Rebecca and I to sign some documents, in essence, vouching for her. And I said to Rebecca, well, I could see helping her out like this. I said, but before we help her out, I want to talk to an immigration attorney and know what I'm signing up for. She talked to an immigration attorney, and they said, well, if she gets into an accident any time within the next 15 years or something like that, and the person wants to sue, you can be attached to that. And so I said, no. You know, that's wisdom. You know, wisdom says you can't do it. And I told her, and it was tough for us. I said, we can't do it, you know. There was just too much stuff at stake.

20:08She had a family member. She found a family member or something like that that lived here or whatever, and they were able to do it. But the concept of don't tell anybody about this and blah, blah, blah. You don't know me. I don't know you. It's true. I mean, and then I also am asking myself, too. I'm like, well, besides I'm angry at you for not helping me get an attorney. What's her motivation to hold a press conference and tell this story? Maybe because there's such a large Hispanic population in California and she thinks people should know that she considers her a monster. I don't know. Could be. Could be. Ever been angry at somebody who fired you? Yeah. I mean, maybe that's it. She's angry that she was let go and this is her way to...

21:07I don't think it's that bad what she did. I don't know. It just depends on the circumstances. If Meg Whitman was under the impression that this girl was legal and she felt like this girl had been lying to her for nine years, then she could be upset with her and be like, look, I'm done with you. Here's Meg Whitman's response to that. We used an employment agency to find Nikki. She filled out a 1099 as showed a California driver's license. Everything was in order. classified with the employment agent. We wanted to make sure we had someone who was here legally to work in the United States. And no one was more surprised when she came to me in June of 2009 and admitted that she was here illegally and had forged the documents. It's clearly politically motivated. We had a great debate last night. I think I did very, very well. No surprise. This morning, Gloria Allred pops up with a political stunt. Wow. You know, if it's true that the other side Put that together. Maybe even paid her. I don't know. We'll help you. We'll help you get this going if you say the things we want you to say on camera. Give us some dirt. It's not even that juicy. I see the rationalization on the Mike Whitman side. Imagine how you would feel, Mike, if you were under the impression that the ducks were in a row.

22:34You're not only attached to a huge corporation like eBay, but now you're going to run for a political campaign. And you're like, great, now my name's going to be in the mud, even though I tried to follow the rules because you lied to me. Let's say that you're 100% right, L.O.B. And I'm even, I'll take it a step further. What if you're not the CEO of eBay and you're not running for political office? You're just a regular Joe. Right, right, right, right. And you're like, I can get in trouble, you know? And what, now, just to kind of. look a little further into it, I'm going, you know, unless this lady just decided that she was going to come forward on her own and hold a press conference, which I don't believe for a minute. I believe the other side found this lady. That's the skeeviest, like, okay, so let's fast forward the tape. Let's say that that design works and Meg Whitman loses because of it. And Jerry Brown wins because of it. Now we've elected a guy who decided that was his tactic. Yeah. Now a guy that's in office is that guy. But, okay, flip side of that coin. You're running. You're in a race. Somebody's been saying things about you. You find out information. You're going to be like, I'm just going to sit on it. I'm just going to sit on it. Like you would. Well, it would be one of those.

24:01If I ever ran for office, I couldn't participate in that kind of nuttyness. Absolutely. And I'm not saying you, you, Mikey, but most people are, you know. Mikey, don't kid yourself. You wouldn't run. You would walk to office. I would walk for office. I would nap for office. My name is Mike Esparza, and I'm walking for office. I would type on my laptop all the way into office. For sure. Guess who's calling in all the way from Georgia, ladies and gentlemen? It's M1 Mean Gene on the line. It's been a long time. That's right. How you doing, Mean Gene? Man, I'm exhausted. I got class in like 20 minutes. There you go. Call us when you have no class. Yeah. I'll call you in class. Call us in from class. Yeah. Hey, I just want to call you. I got some grim news for you guys. This election is not going to get any better for you. The race is really close. And when elections are really close... I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is, man. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

25:38And, I mean, unfortunately, it's just, you know, people make mistakes and you're just going to hear about every single one of them. Yeah. Is an Aphrodite boy and a girl? Yeah. Both parts. Both parts? Yeah. Like Amy Lee Curtis. Why would you ever leave the house? Mean Gene, where did you get that information? I take an American political thought class this semester. And I also take a campaigns and elections class. Nice. Check out the big brain. A lot smarter than us. Yeah. Thank you. That's rad. Yeah, and you know, I know that it's not a new occurrence. I was just wondering if there's ever been anyone that's like, I'm not going down this. I'm not going to be, you know, a muckraker. I'm not going to go there, man. I'm going to talk about me, what I'm about, and what the issues are. People all do it. What do you think of this? It's real good. I love it. Love this. Real good. Great video. Oh, the best video. San Diego Chargers left tackle, Marcus McNeil. We have audio of him talking about his time off when he was holding out and what it was like watching the team while he was off. It's actually pretty good audio, and we got it for you in Woods on Sports next. We should be stepping into the studio this morning at 7.30. What is that, by the way? That is the number one pop song in the country. It's like a G6. Who is that? Party's movie. Number one download. We're going to be talking about Marcus McNeil and...

28:12We got audio of Marcus McNeil talking about what it was like while he was off and having to watch it to him because he was doing his holdout, and he's back playing now, and we'll be talking about that. Didn't get Iron Man 2 yesterday. It came out on Blu-ray. I wanted to. I didn't get it either. I watched Get Him to the Greek, though, last night, which is really funny. You would hate it. I know I would. Can't wait to see that. It's funny, dude. It's really funny. Let's see. I think I'm going to watch Iron Man 2 this weekend. I just want to see that, too. I watched it in the hotel when we were in Vegas, and it was good. I liked it. Yeah, that dude, Robert Downey's amazing. You guys think that, what's her name on hand? Say it. You can do it. Say it. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Banging a head on his microphone. I always go blank when I'm trying to think of her name, and she's one of the most beautiful women in the world. Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow. Another one. What? Yeah, that one. Scarlett Johansson. Snooki. You think Scarlett Johansson looks pretty in this movie? She's amazing. She looks pretty. She's amazing. L.O.B. doesn't like her. Weird, the other girls are attractive. No, I think other girls are attractive. Yeah, and the girls that girls think are like the most beautiful, I'm like... Megan Fox? I'm pretty sure all the guys are in on her. Yeah, but I thought that you were not. I'm in on Megan Fox. It was Sienna then. It was Sienna. Scarlett Johansson, just stop talking. Yeah. Who's hot? L.O.B.

29:43Megan Fox is hot. And who else? Oh, who else? I don't know. Name people. I don't know. Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman. She's not hot yet. She's beautiful. Angelina Jolie. You know, I saw a picture of her lips. I thought she was. Mikey, you're right. Her lips do look smelly. I thought she was. She's like all veiny sometimes and too... Just hot. Just all get up. Yeah, I think she's pretty hot. But like, I don't know. Thinking more like banging. Like, who's like banging? Alyssa Milano, she is. Oh, yeah. She's hot. She's gorgeous. Gorgeous. Still. See, I almost put Alyssa Milano in that same category of, I don't really think of her as hot. I think of her more as beautiful. See Poison Ivy 3 or 2 or whatever. You'll think she's real hot. Heather Graham, she's hot. Heather Graham's hot. Heather Graham's hot. For sure. Tommy Leakey. Who else is big? I don't know. Don't think I'm getting my wife upset because my wife... Loves her some Brad Pitt. Of course. And some Matthew McConaughey. And some Bradley Cooper. Who's that? Bradley Cooper. I don't even know about that. She told you that? From The Hangover? No, my wife. All wives love Bradley Cooper. Your wife likes Bradley Cooper? He is charming. Don't know who he is, but I can tell you that he sounds like the author of horror novels. A new novel from Bradley Cooper. He was in The Hangover.

31:07Yeah, Mikey saw that. Did you see it? No. He was the guy that played a gay guy in Valentine's Day. Weird, you saw that twice. Oh, yeah. The dude on the plane. He's McSteamy. No, no, no. The other guy. McDreamy. No. McDonald's. The guy you are thinking of is McSteamy on whatever that... Show, the hospital show? Gay's Anatomy. Oh, oh, oh, I know what you're talking about. You're talking about that guy's boyfriend from the movie Valentine's Day on the plane with Julia Roberts. Jimmy was in that movie for like three seconds. And you know who I think that that guy looks like, by the way? Steve Woods? No. No? That's too bad. I think he looks like the actor Ray Fiennes. He looks like a poor man's Ray Fiennes. What? Who's Ray Fiennes? Actually, Ray Fiennes looks like a poor man's Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper? Yeah. Really? Yeah, we'll put a picture of them together. We should. Next to each other, and we'll put it on the website. We should. And guess who Bradley Cooper is dating. I don't know how I know this. Miss Sourpuss. I think you know more about these things than you come on to. I wrote a blog about it last night. Ever since I worked on the radio, I know about stuff. Like who? What? Renee Zellweger. Sourpuss. Really? No.

32:12because they're doing a movie together. Oh, gosh. Now I'm like, come on, dude. I think that's a great choice. You know, oh, come on. I do. The only reason that it wouldn't be me is because Renee Zellweger breaks up with every guy she dates. Yeah. I wouldn't want to get dumped. A guy could be pulling in whatever he wanted. 100%. Any girl he wanted. Why Miss Sourpuss? Yeah, I agree. Personality. Get. And you know what else? You know what else? I'll bet. That he has dated every good-looking woman in the world. He has not. He's just getting big now. Not famous ones, but he's dated. I mean, you think a guy like that's gone out with schlumps? He is now. She's schlumpy, dude. Oh, come on. She's schlumpy. She has her days. She's an older gal, I guess. I've never, ever, for one minute of her career, found her to be attractive. Oh, I did. I mean, I don't think she's ugly, but I just am like, eh. Love it when she's small. I love... I think it's real cute when a girl smiles and her eyes close. I think that's really cute. I think it's endearing and I think it's cute. Oh, boy. All right, well. I'm sorry, that was mean. Yeah, I know. I don't want to say mean stuff. I said a mean thing. You said never. I'll repeat it. L.O.B. is the one that will say the F word on the air. I'll hit the button and she'll go, I shouldn't have said F. I'm sorry. Really, we can't say that now?

33:38It's never happened for a record. Really? Should I mention the one you did yesterday? Did Amina mention it? Yeah. No. Facebook blew up. Facebook did blow up. Jamie goes, why? They all wanted to know what she said? No. They all heard it. They all heard it? On the internet stream. On the internet stream. Jamie goes, they all. There were three comments. Your guy's idea of blowing up. They heard it on the internet. They heard it on the internet. Jamie goes, I heard that. I go, oh, wow. She goes, yeah, oh, wow. Oh, wow. It was really so bad. Say it again then. No. She said it right at the end of the show. She said it right at the end of the show. See, all the ones that I have to hit the button on, I always do think to myself, in what world? In our world, did these guys think curse words? No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. I know that. I know that. But I thought, in what world of knowing their friend Mike?

34:39who I guess they think just came off tour with Dane Cook and Chris Rock. And I rolled in here and I was like, what's up, mother heavens? Y'all want to have some fun? Let's do it. I don't know what, I mean, she said it yesterday. I lost my way. You lost your way? Craig Gass was pushing the envelope real good. 100%. And you were cracking up, so. No, yeah. You know what? And I have to train myself better on that. You know, I do that because I'm uncomfortable. Yeah, because you know, I mean, we work together. You don't work with Craig every day. Yeah. But Craig can say B on there. He can't. He did. Yeah, well, you've said it, too. Never. Yeah, you guys have said it. Never. I said it. I said it. Wood said it once and all. But I said it in the context of you can't be at me when I do that. The other day I was reading the lyrics to the Katy Perry song. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not a, you know, it's not that. And it isn't that I'm, you know, so.

35:39My sensibilities. No. It's not that. It's just that, you know, it's not really what we are. I know it's not what we are, but it wasn't like I was just saying it all willy-nilly. It wasn't? You were saying it in a clinical way. He set me up for it. It's like I'm out making a porno with Tracy Morgan. And so, okay, and so, so because... He said that. It was not. I thought I was in the nest. Quote, unquote, willy-nilly. I thought I was in the nest. You thought you were in the safe nest? Yeah. You were not. You were not in the trust tree. You were not in the trust tree. You were in the filet fern. Apparently. Okay, so, Woodsy, what is the deal, you know, speaking of Sesame Street topics, what is the deal with this huge news today? One of the top stories today is about this sexual webcast. Yeah. This is freaking out. Maybe I get this out and ready before you come to me. Hey, guys, can I just say this? Maybe you do that. Can I just say this, Woods? Yeah. You realize it's okay, buddy. Is it? Yeah. Is it? Well, unless when you haven't been prepared before, I've screamed at the top of my head.

36:59Or grabbed you by your T-shirt. I saw that. Pushed you up against the wall. All right? And put my hand on your thigh. Like that one time? No one can see this right now. You did do that that one time. I was walking by him. I was like, whoa. I saw the hand on the thigh. Why does Mikey have his hand over with his throat? Yeah. And the other one on his thigh. Yeah. But let me tell you. I don't. I'm getting nervous. I want to do a good job. Sienna's always prepared. Sienna's always prepared. That's why Sienna doesn't do it. You stress yourself out. I know. I hate it. The day that Woods is gone, I thought I was going to die. It's the worst. Is it not? If I could impart one thing to you, I would say, you know, it's just the radio. I know, but you say that, but then in the back of your mind, you're like, I bet if somebody else was here, he'd be more prepared. I bet you somebody would. I don't think Woods is taking this seriously. It took me a while with my wife to realize that the cards, I mean, excuse me, the little notes that I write to her that I put on the mirror, they're meaningful, but it's not really her big thing. Right. Her big thing is me spending time with her. So maybe it will take you guys a while to realize. That kind of stuff, it doesn't make me go, the things that make me go.

38:24are when we're talking about something and then we go, wah. I'm like, let me tell you about my baseball game. You hate that. Yes. And being late. Yeah. Being late makes me a little bit kooky. Makes you a little nuts. Yeah, but most stuff, like there's a bunch of stuff that I just don't, you know, they aren't my little quirk. But you know what? They're mine. That's the difference, is they're mine. I want to be prepared. I want to do a good job. I just feel bad for you. You'll never see me coming in here, kicking my feet up, going, no, we'll just wing the news. I want to do a good job because Sienna is so freaking good at what she does. She is such a pro at what she does. Maybe she comes back. Maybe she comes back. Stop it. Anyway, but let's talk about this story because this is huge. Before we do, can I just say, so Sienna writes this beautiful email to us. Gorgeous. And it made us all feel really good. And I believe it was L.O.B. that responded first. No, Jay did. Jay did. Was it Jay? Yeah, it was me. And did you say, were you the first one to say, take your time? Absolutely. And I was like, oh, my gosh. And L.O.B. followed it up. And then L.O.B. followed it up with, take your time. You know, this is about, you know. These are the precious moments. Yeah, that's what I said. You never get this time back. And it was like, I felt this pressure of like, oh, my gosh. I am a monster.

39:47And I think I might be like the most pressuring guy in the world. And so I said, I wrote the same thing. I said, you know. Take your time. Take your time. Oh, my goodness. I was like, what the heck is that? I feel ambushed. I had to. That's why I jumped out there first. I felt really guilty. You should. Yeah, you should. Why should we feel guilty? We want her back. She's got a precious little life in her hands. We want her back. I'm not going to feel guilty for wanting my friend back at work. Yeah, but you have to think. You have to be a little less selfish. I'm not being selfish. I'll do this. I just want her here. Who needs her more? Who needs her more? The baby does. We do. Which babies? Yeah. The two that are here or the one at home? The baby needs her more. But that doesn't... She can bring the baby in. No, she cannot. Why? No, she can't. It's like it for the baby. Yeah, and she'd have to breastfeed. Well, and she's barely even sleeping right now. Yeah. She can't come in and wake up at three. We're just huge a-holes, apparently. Just giant, massive a-holes. You know what we are? We're insensitive. Right? You're being impractical. Impractical. It's not practical for a woman to have a baby and then come back to soon. Well, it's probably true.

41:05I miss her. I do too. It's like we don't have, we're a whole body without a leg. But we knew that for six months or however long. We'll make it. Here's what I don't do. You don't do it either. You know what I don't do? I don't think the thought all the way through to completion sometimes. No, we just know what we want. I just know what I want. That's why we're a-holes apparently. You said that. No one else did. So what's the deal? Well, this is a sad, sad, crazy story. There was a freshman at Rutgers University who committed suicide because a couple of other students put a camera in his room, his dorm room, and broadcast his sexual encounter to whoever was watching, man. What? Yeah. He jumped off the George Washington Bridge. He left his wallet and his cell phone on the bridge. And here's the deal. They think he jumped off the bridge. And the authorities are saying, listen, he jumped off the bridge. He probably knew that they'd be able to figure it out. Wow, maybe I say it. Figure it out. That's why he left them there. Here's my identification. I'm telling you, I've said this before. Wild Wild West right now in terms of Internet bullying and all that kind of stuff. Wild Wild West. But I'm telling you.

42:25I hope that they put legislation in that says that if you bully somebody on the Internet or if you're terrible about somebody on the Internet, call it censorship. I don't even care. Call it censorship. If you bully somebody or you do that kind of stuff, you go to jail. Yeah. And if somebody says, That's a violation of First Amendment rights. I really, honestly, I don't care that somebody thinks that. I don't. What do you think about this? Because it's, you know, yeah, it's terrible on the Internet. That's awful. We've heard stories before about moms posing as Facebook people and bullying other kids. You guys remember that crazy story? What about in schools? What about a no tolerance policy? And I'm talking zero tolerance. You bully somebody, you are out. You're done. You're expelled. You're done. Expelled. If you're 7, if you're 15, if you're 17, you bully somebody, you're done. Yeah. And if one of my kids did that, if one of my kids, if Luke did that, obviously. Obviously. You know.

43:28I would flip out. My kids will not only be taught that not only do you not bully people, but you stick up for kids. Absolutely, dude. Absolutely. Oh, man, that stuff drives me nuts. And, you know, mostly you're hearing me react from a very emotional place because my son's autistic. And so I think about kids being bullied. And I, you know, I'm like that poor dad that got on the bus the other day and yelled at a bunch of kids because his daughter had cerebral palsy. So, anyway, well, they have arrested these two people. One of them was a female, which surprised me. I don't know why, but it really did. Darun Ravi, who's 18, and Molly Wee, they're both 18 years old, were arrested, released, you know, one on bail, one on her own recognizance. And, yeah, if convicted, they're both going to face up to five years in prison. For violation of his privacy? What were the charges? Probably for broadcasting. That's not enough. That's not enough. But that's a charge. That's all they can get them on. That's what exists now. That's all they can get them on. It's terrible. Oh, yeah. Invasion of privacy. Yeah, I guess that's it. Emma and Michelle from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah. What's up? I was watching the news on the story, and they were saying that also it was with a man that he was having sex with, which doesn't change anything, but... He was humiliated. Yeah. He probably hadn't come out to whoever he had, you know.

44:53Felt the need to come out to you. It's humiliated. Yeah. I was like, I can't walk around campus after they saw me in my dorm room with another man broadcast on the, you know, on the webcam. Yeah, there's got to be laws. Holy cow, man. There's got to be laws about, you know, bullying and Internet and all that stuff. Thank you very much for the call. Thank you. We appreciate it. We still have not got to Woods on Sports. Woodsy is. Wow. Woodsy is put together. One of the finest days of music. He was going to move. So much fun. This story that I'm going to give you when we come back is just phenomenal. So, Michael Bolton gets eliminated from Dancing with the Clowns. And he thinks that he's owed an apology. Now, lest anybody think, oh, publicity stunt, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I've heard it. He's not kidding. He's not kidding. And we have the audio of him saying he wants an apology. And we have the audio of what happened on Dancing with the Stars that he says he deserves an apology. Next. He's a good dude. I used to work with Greg Kinn. Did he really? Yeah. A good dude? Great dude. No, I bet. Greg Kinn. Let me tell you. Our love's in Jeopardy? Great dude. I mean, just a nice guy. He was a DJ in our building. Did mornings and very successful. Where? Books. San Jose? San Jose.

47:29That's cool. Smart dude. Be out in the back of the radio station every morning. We'd pull up. You'd be out there wearing a black leather jacket smoking a joint. A joint? Yeah, before going on the air. He smoked a jerk before he went on the air. A spliff. He's a rock star named Greg Kent, man. That's what he did. That's hysterical. That's what the guy did. Can you imagine smoking a jerk before he came in here and be like, Mikey, how are you? I'd be staring at Mikey like... He was such a nice guy. He's a good dude. Really nice guy. Just a good dude. Great. Love his music, too. Yeah. Yeah? I love that song. Let's see. Oh, word of the day is knapsack. Don't forget. Knapsack. When you hear me work that into a sentence, call her 9-570-1949. Gets four-pack tickets to the Wild Animal Park. And that's worth $160. And Neil Diamond will be in here at 730. Okay. So we're going to be playing you that audio of Michael Bolton. He's really upset. He's really, really upset. Because his songs suck? Because he's Michael Bolton. Still got that same haircut, by the way. The worst. Really? The long curly? I think. He was with Nicola at Sheridan. I don't know if he still is, but she's hot. Gorgeous. And he's not. She is gorgeous.

48:56Maybe he's like me and he's got a great personality. Maybe he kidnapped her. That's what people think of me and Rebecca. That's right. I told our Hungarian nanny, Nita, about that joke. Did she get it? Yeah, she thought it was his joke. She did. Did she get it? I did the voice and everything. I always talk to Mike about he has to explain a lot of stuff. I mean, she's from Hungary, so he's got to explain. You know, wreck. What a wreck means. Right. You know, things like that. She just doesn't. Peanut butter. Peanut butter. Peanut butter and jelly. Yeah. And some words means, you know, different things. Totally different. So, if we, you know, if we say, it's pretty nice. Pretty means pretty. Yeah. Like, you're attractive. Attractive. Attractive. Nice. It's attractively nice. Well, she's like, you know, in her mind, that doesn't make much sense. Right. But, yeah, I was telling her the thing about us going, why those? Wife, Rebecca, who is very beautiful. Looks like from Sweden. She looks like from Sweden with a blonde hair. She needs green card. That's why she married you. He kidnapped you, right? He kidnapped you years ago? In my country, though, we would never see a beautiful woman married to a kidnapper.

50:19It does not make sense. I don't understand. Rebecca, may I ask you a personal question? Why would you marry your kidnapper? He order you online? He buy you. He buy you online from Sweden. Oh, he buy you. Okay. He buy you from Sweden? You know, look from Mexico. How do you say Mexico? Look on bright side. Beautiful children. Beautiful children. Who did you sleep with to have these children? Rebecca, may I ask you a question? Who are boy's father? It's very clearly not this man. Not this man. Not Michael. I'll be honest with you. I thought he mow lawn. Is that how you meet?

51:17You meet because he trim bushes. He cut roses. No? No. This is not right. How he gets radio, Joe? May I ask you a question, Rebecca? Why do you live in the same house? We're married, that's why. Because I love him. He's my husband. What? Okay. Tell me meaning of love in America. What arrangement is marriage in this country? Yes, in America, it is okay to marry someone like this. Your parents owe his parents a donkey, maybe? Why they owe you a farm? I don't understand. She starts crying. I find you man. I'm real man. I find you someone.

52:14You should bait San Diego Padres. What's on Sports brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Padres had a big, big win last night. Chris Young, and I don't even think we've really talked about it. He's back. Yeah, he's pitching great. He's hurt forever, right? He's hurt forever. He's been hurt pretty much since he's gotten here. But he is the last Padre to win a playoff game, FYI. That's cool. Hopefully he gets the chance this year. But with the win. They remained one and a half games behind Atlanta for the wild card and then two games behind first place San Francisco in the West. Boy, I wish we wouldn't have lost those ten games in a row. Yeah. God, we'd be sitting a lot prettier right now. But anyway, Chris Young came out through five strong innings. He looked really good. Here he is on his win, cut one. Where we are now as compared to the last two years, it's really special.

53:13It hasn't been easy getting here, but we've got an unbelievable group of guys, a group of guys that believe in each other, have put in the time and effort, and have really overachieved, I think, what everybody's expectations for. But our expectations are still to continue excelling and to make this happen. Well, it's coming down to it, man. It's coming down to it. Three with San Francisco this weekend. The Giants last night beat the Diamondbacks 3-1. Tim Lincecum had a cold. He was congested. Well, he went out and struck out 11. for a 3-1 victory over the D-backs. Like I said, the Giants stay two games up on the Padres. Here's their ace, Lincecum, cut two. Come down these last few games, try not to worry about what they're doing. Maybe you lose. The rest will take care of itself. That's a nice little comfortable lead to be out to with a little left. We are right there. We are on the cusp, my friend. I just really hope they make it in. I think it would be so cool if they went and swept the Giants three in a row. It would be awesome. It would be cool. It would be very cool. Hopefully people go to the playoff games. But like we talked about, Marcus McNeil is back. He has signed his tender with the Chargers. It's a one-year contract tender. And he's excited to be back. I think he's got 18 days before he's eligible to join the active roster. So he's going to get back in football shape a little bit. Here he is about his time off, cut three. It was pretty interesting. This is the first time I've had a situation like this. I've seen other guys do it in the past before.

54:40So it was a long time waiting. It's kind of boring, you know, not being around, having that camaraderie. You know, you're used to a certain time of year getting in the camp and, you know, kind of preparing with the fellas. So, I mean, it was tough, you know, a lot of soul searching, a lot of sitting around, you know, trying to figure out what type of person you want. But I feel like at the end of the day, you know, I made the right decision and everything kind of came out like I wanted it to. Did it? Couldn't you have signed that tender eight weeks ago? Yeah. That's the same thing. I know it. How big is that? He is 6'7", 336 pounds. He is going to be protecting Phil Rivers' butt for the next few years, hopefully. Basically what he said also, I watched another clip of him, and he said, listen, when I tell you that I got what I wanted, it's because I met with him and they've assured me that, hey, we're going to take care of you. Maybe they take care of him this year. I don't know why. I don't know why they didn't, but maybe because there's not going to be any NFL next year. Also, Ryan Matthews is optimistic that he will play on Sunday against Arizona. Mikey. I'm playing LOB and fantasy football this weekend. I wouldn't start him this weekend. Would you? I don't think I would. I don't think I would. He injured his ankle against Jacksonville. He missed last week's game. He did practice on Wednesday, and he says, quote, It sucks watching your team from the sidelines knowing you've got to sit out that game. Hopefully I'll never have to experience that again. I think he's fine. You do? Yeah. All right. Throw him in there, pal. He's young. You know, young guys heal real fast. Yeah, they do. Like a goldfish.

56:00Yeah, it wasn't broke. It was just sprained. Yeah, he sprained it. So he does think he's going to play Sunday. So keep your eyes on that, Cubs. Also, finally, if anybody cares, Alberto Contador is the three-time Tour de France champion. He has tested positive for some performance-enhancing drug. He is blaming it on bad meat. Oh, please. Bad meat. Ate some bad meat, and it had some clenbuterol in it. And you can't take clenbuterol and win the Tour de France. It's cycling, so who cares? I do. Yeah. Do you? You do not. I do care. Name five cyclists. Lance Armstrong. I'm not a huge watcher. Enough stuff, bud. I love cycling. Case closed. Rest my case. Hey, listen. Here's the deal. I know people like to ride bikes. I know you love cycling, but you don't love professional cycling. I like to watch it. I like to flip it on when they're doing the Tour de France. Exactly. That's the thing. I'm like, listen, I know people like that. I know that.

56:58I see the Tour Dick Carlsbad happening all the time. I see it. But I just ask myself. Every weekend. I'm like, does anybody really follow? I have a buddy who is hardcore. He goes out and watches them ride by. Does he get like Cycling Magazine? Oh, yeah. I've gotten Cycling Magazine before. I don't like it. I don't understand. He goes out and he'll sit on the side of the road and watch them go by. I'm like. It's like watching car racing. I think people that are hardcore cyclists probably watch cycling. So there is definitely a little subculture. I love to cycle. I used to race for seven years. T-word there, L-O-B being subculture. Yeah, good. Seven dudes sitting in a bar somewhere going... So did you see Bill Johnson's new bike? He's got the L46 with twin chrome rims. More like three guys getting weak crash shots. All right, so here is Michael Bolton reacting to the fact that he got kicked off dancing with the Stars. He's upset about it. Of course I was disappointed with Bruno. He just, to me, let everybody down.

58:10My mom was there. She flew in. She's 90, and she came to see the show, and I thought she was going to really enjoy it. And I just didn't expect that level of disrespect from him. You heard the tone of it. Even Len stopped him and said, that's inappropriate. I think he should apologize publicly, and he should be reprimanded for it. Hey, you just knocked over your glass of milk, Michael. It's running off the table. Want to hear what the guy said about him that got him so upset and that he thought was so disrespectful? Here we go. In all honesty, even I thought you were a little hard on Michael Bolton last night. I'm the nicest person ever. Oops. Wait, wait, wait. That's right after it happened. Let me play for you. This sucks! That was a little harsh. That was so harsh. Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, I did have it. I did have it. I think Rin Tin Tin would have done a better jive. I mean, he's a fantastic singer. He's a wonderful person. He's nothing personal, but I'm here to call it that way.

59:12You know, that's my job. We had some fabulous dancing. We had some not so good dancing. We had some terrible dancing. He's week two. And my job is to point out what I see. I don't say I'm right. And the public has, you know, you can vote. You can get him back. It's not a problem for me. He's fine. He's a great guy. I love him. I don't know where I had this clip, but I had this clip somewhere where he says that they've been doing the show for eight years and it's the worst person he's ever seen. Same bit Simon does every week. Exactly. You sign up for a show like that where you're going to get judged. Yeah. Sorry. I'll come out here and rough talk him and run him off. I can't believe Michael Bolton would be that sensitive after all these years of just getting kind of hardcore. Well, he just gets filleted because he's terrible. Yeah. I think he'd have some thicker skin. And some thicker hair. I do not think that the tone of his voice is bad. I think that the songs that he sings are wimpy, and that's why we don't like it. Oh, they're terrible. I don't like the tone either. You know, he used to be a metal singer. Did you know this? Uh-uh. He was a heavy metal singer. He's better as a metal singer. That he opened for Ozzy years ago. Like years and years and years ago in L.A. And then he became a soft rock crooner. Yeah, I mean, I played the first Michael Bolton record on a rock station back in 1988. Why did you do that?

1:00:40He was a rock artist. Oh, okay. When he first came out, he was a rock artist. Yep. And that was his thing. Not so much anymore. Not so good. Oh, my gosh. Cameo by Kenny G. Yeah. Can I get you guys a glass of Chardonnay? Actually, I have a couple of questions about the menu. Sure. Is this... Is this brioche bread that they're talking about here with salmon? Yes, it is brioche. It's with the salmon. Salmon is covered in light dill sauce. Okay. Can I, can I, is it possible? Take a look out into the bay. Do you see the sailboats growing by? I did, sir, but I have a couple of questions about that dill sauce. Sure. Is there any way that I can exchange that for maybe like a, like a brujolet or like a brujolet or something? That's not a problem at all. Okay, perfect. There are no nuts or avocados in this meal, right? Never. Okay, perfect. Also, one more substitution. This is from my wife. My wife prefers Watercrest. What about Watercrest? Do you have a manager here? That's pretty insulting. What's that? Sweetheart, I thought... It's Watercrest. I think he's correcting you, honey. I think he's correcting you as well. I was just going to tell you it's Watercrest salad. He's an important man.

1:02:00Yeah, it is. Who, he is? Yeah, it's my house name. Yeah. I happen to be the CEO of Walson Sweaters. Oh, okay. I've never heard of it. Oh, really? No, really. So this sweater that I'm wearing right now, you didn't recognize? The one tied around your... The one tied around my neck. Dear, please, dear, please. Do you guys want some Chardonnay or maybe some White Sinfandel? White Sinfandel will probably be more appropriate for your table. I understand that he's just a low-earning, poor, vagrant waiter. Tell him. I know that. White Zinfandel it is, then, huh? I'll bring you the 2010. How about that? Tell him to get his manager. I'm sure you'll want to smell the cork, too. May I speak to your manager? No, he's busy. You ought to talk to me. What's up? I don't want Chardonnay. Don't you? No, I don't. I'd like an 87 Rosé, and yes, I have the money on my black platinum American Express. I know you don't know what that is. I'll bring you a bottle of Rianiti, okay? Rianiti on ice? Yeah. Rianiti on ice? So nice. Let's get out of here. I think we should leave, darling. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, okay? Thank you very much. And one last thing before we leave. What is this wonderful music playing? Not like you didn't know that. Talking about no nuts. This is classic. Darling, can we wait until the song? Let's wait it out. Let's wait it out and then we'll leave and complain to the manager. Have a ball. Soul provider. Soul provider. Michael Bolton crooned, I want to be.

1:03:25Your soul, S-O-U-L, provider. Oh, man. It does take me back, I'll tell you that much. LLB's looking for a soul provider, by the way. That's right. That's right. S-O-U-L. S-O-U-L and S-O-L-E. See, she is. Oh, gosh. I don't know why you have not chose the most perfect man in the world for you, but... You don't even have a job. I do have a job, girl. Why are you always here? Landed on the couch. You see that laptop? Yeah. I do internet accounting. Nice. And you eat ribs. Plus he can't get out through the door anymore. Yeah. He's stuck. He's stuck in that room. I like two things. I like L.O.B. and I like Phil's. I love Phil's. I like Phil's too. That's all I'm saying. Now let me tell you something. All right. All right. Mikey, why don't you give me some music? I need something. You can hit that again. Go ahead. No, give me something. You can hit that again. Did he hit? Wow. What? What? No. What? It's Sinatra style, too. What is that? What do you think? What is this? Survivor? Oh, no. You're right. This is... Oh, my gosh. This is Michael Bublé. This is Michael Bolton. This is Michael Bolton. Frank Sinatra, baby. Frank Sinatra's rolling over in his grave. Yeah. If I had a loft... I would scramble the leaves.

1:05:02on a sport jacket, I would. And I would wear it when you came over. Baby, kiss me. You should. What's your favorite kind of flower? I like daisies, Gerber daisies. You know what my favorite kind of flower is? Baking flower. With an egg. You should really switch to holy flower. Of course. Maybe not. Michael Bolton singing Frank Sinatra. Who signed off on that? Who did? Frank Sinatra Jr., who has $7 a year, who I saw in concert, by the way. No way. Thank you very much. That person exists. Yeah, Frank Sinatra Jr. I had a client in Vegas, and she goes, oh, by the way, you're going to go with me tonight and see Frank Sinatra Jr. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and I went. Wow. It was god-awful. Like a lounge lizard? Yeah, it was awful. That's pretty bad. That was bad. Were you dating her? No, I wasn't dating her. She wanted me to be dating her, and she was a little...

1:06:11Hefty for my taste. But, very nice girl. And I make the kid a lot of money every month. She also baked me a shepherd's pie and left it on my front porch, by the way. But that's another story. She had a good personality. Oh, wow. You don't get any home cooking here, do you? She left me a shepherd's pie. As she was knocking on the door, I was hiding in my bathroom. I didn't want to answer the door. Did you have to do a friendship breakup? I moved away. That's what I did. I moved back to Dallas. Is there anything worse? Than having to break up with somebody? Oh, man. The love breakup or the friendship breakup? Either. Either. Terrible. I usually just fade away. Fade out. Fade out. Yeah. Love the fade out. The no call, no show? Yeah. Is there anything worse than, they're both bad. Having to break up with somebody and getting broke up with somebody. I think getting broken up with is probably worse. Yeah. Because you don't really see it coming, usually. I've been broken up with a ton of times. Weird. And a couple of times I remember, do you remember the worst ones, Woods? You've been broken up with, right? Yeah, the last one I was broken up with was in college. And it was the time I freaked out. Was that when the girl took the guy back to her apartment? Yeah, the day she broke up with me, which was Valentine's Day. We'd been together three years. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. And out of the, she got her, okay, the day before Valentine's Day, she gets her hair cut.

1:07:40Short. And I mean like eight inches off. And I literally remember looking at her going, I'm next. It was time for a change. She's wiping the slate clean. She calls me. We live in the same building, mind you. Calls me to break up with me after three years. We break up. I drink Jack Daniels all day long. All I do is listen to sad music. In your underwear? In my underwear. Boxers. Boxers. And the floor that I lived on, I've told this before, but the floor I lived on, she had to walk in front of my door to wait for the elevator up to her apartment. Had to stand in front of my door. And I heard her laughing and giggling with another dude. What were you doing? And I ran. Exactly. I ran to the door. And I looked through the peephole. She was standing there with another dude. I paced and was really drunk out of my mind. I ended up walking up to her apartment in my boxers and my glasses. That's all I had on. I was hammered. I had a key. Bottle in your hand? No bottle. Okay. Opened the door and walked in to a candlelight wine session with her and her ex-boyfriend, Scott. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. What did you do? I was yelling a lot.

1:09:02Slurry. Slurry, yelling, crying, probably. He then tried to get in my face. And I pushed him as hard as I could. And he stuck between the couch and the table. And I go, you stay right there. You don't get it. And she goes, probably just want to stay there. He's a little unstable. Yeah. Oh, boy. A little. A little. A little unstable. And then I went on a... Look at yourself in the mirror. I went on like a year bender. Oh, my gosh. Just name it. Name it. Just a bender. Every day at 4 o'clock looking through that peephole. Yeah. Freaking out. So I went on about a year bender. We got back together for a short time. She broke up with me again. Oh, you let her break her heart now. And I moved to Dallas. You got back together with her? Oh, yeah. You are glad. Me too. I've done that too. Dude, she broke up with me. And I go, literally, I called her. I go, I just wanted to let you know.

1:10:09My parents just pulled up at the U-Haul and moving back to Dallas. Oh, my God. We took the last walk in the park. You let her walk with you? She came over. She was flabbergasted. She was like, you're moving. I'm like, yeah, moving back to Big D. One last walk in Grant Park. See you later. Keep trucking. Keep on trucking. Keep on trucking. I had a girlfriend cheat on me so bad. And, I mean, it was horrible. And I was working, I was doing nights at the other station. And I wrote on a piece of paper that this guy, to this guy, because I knew where he lived, that I had been with her too. Because he didn't, I knew he didn't know. And I left him that note. So now he knew. On his car, at his house? At his apartment. Apartment? Yeah, at his apartment.

1:11:14And then they moved in together. Stinger. They moved in together. And one night, I'm at Rock 105 doing the night show. And I'm sitting there, you know, songs playing. And she walks in the studio. She worked there. She walks in the studio. Yeah. And I was like, you know. Absolutely not. Blah, blah, blah. D-D-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B. Get out of my face. Lasted like two days. Are you late? And then I was like, okay. I think I know who this was. I don't think you had a different guess. Say the first letter. J? Nope. No. R? Yep. Weirdest. We do weird stuff. We do. Guys and girls do this, by the way. I mean, she did the filthiest, horrible thing. And then, so then, I took her back, right? She says she's going to break up. doesn't. And so I break up with her again. And this time, a long time goes by. This time you meant it. This time I meant it. You meant it. So about five months go by. She calls me after five months and says, can we have lunch at P.F. Chang? P.F. Chang's? P.F. Chang's. Sorry. I don't know why I do that. And I said,

1:12:49I don't know P.F. Chang. And she said, I'm sorry, it's P.F. Chang's. And I said, oh, P.F. Chang's, because when you said P.F. Chang, I didn't know what you were talking about. No idea. No idea. Passive-aggressive what? And so we go there, and she tries to convince me that she's made changes, and she wants to get back together. She wanted your sweet and sour pork. That's right. Like, make it clever. Make it clever. That was clever. There's not a double entendre there. You can only take it one way. No, she wanted some of your sweet and sour pork. That's what she wanted to eat. Yeah. She wanted a bite, and maybe she wanted a taste at the same time. Double entendre. It works. How about did she ask if she could have some of your sweet and sour pork? Yeah, that would have been a better way to say it. Because then I could go, no. You know, she had her own meal, Jay. She didn't eat my sweet and sour pork. It's not like Mikey is BF Chang. Yeah. Isn't he?

1:13:51So she tries to convince me, right? He is an emperor. Easy PF. Easy PF. So she tries to convince me to get back together. And I said, absolutely not. And I left. And by the time I got back to my apartment, I changed my mind. Oh, man. Love is blind. We are gluttons for battle. Love is a battle. Love stinks. That's right. Love me with your best shot. Over. Love her. Love the way you lie. This is what Mikey was singing when she was with that other dude. Love the one you're with. You ever smelled your own B.O. and you're like, is that me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Isn't that a weird sensation? Do you have it right now? No. You ever make the mistake of saying, is that me, when you realize it's the person that just hugged you, is that me? I did that a couple weeks ago. Well, you're not supposed to say it. Is that me? Do I sing? You're not supposed to say it right after you hug somebody. I said it. Oh, wow.

1:15:00Oh, no. No, that's not me. That must be you. That must be you. You must have bad body odor. Yeah, that was the implication. What is that song supposed to mean? Rebecca, I just learned this song. And song goes, is she really going out? Did he? This is what your friends sing about you? Do they sing this? Is this song written about marriage? I love to hear breakup stories. Call us with your worst breakup stories. 570-1949. We've got rules for men. We'll do breakup stories. We'll do rules for men. We'll have fun. I think there's kind of songs out there. Marty, you're back. We're asking people about... Bad breakups. So call us if you have a bad breakup. M1 Nick from Rancho Bernardo. How you doing? What was your worst one? Well, about five years ago, I come back from Iraq. My girlfriend at the time I was dating, she thought of me the same way I was before. I mean, what does war do to anybody? It changes people, right? Oh, for sure. So I come back different. That's not what she liked. So she decides to break up with me. Well, we were sharing an apartment.

1:17:05So she told me I can go ahead and still live in the apartment because I only had a month before I was out of the military. So I stayed there. She told me when I was living there that I can move out with everything. I can take everything in the apartment. I said, okay, no problem. The night before, I left everything in the apartment except for my stuff. Yeah. The next morning, she had to turn in the keys. My breakup at retaliation. Did we miss a big... Oh, he left everything. He left everything. And left the key. So she had to deal with it. Oh. She didn't have a way to get in? No, she had a way to get in. But she was under the impression that you were going to take everything. Oh, so she had to deal with all the stuff. Yeah. Got it. Thank you. Great. Took me a while to get that. It did me, too. I was waiting for like a crescendo. Yeah, I was waiting for her, you know, to. And I got home, and she left eight monkeys. Yeah.

1:18:11But no, it's still a good bit, though, making her do all this stuff. For sure. M1 John from Carlsbad. Are you there? Hey, what's up, Mikey? What's going on? Just listening to you guys talking about... It's one way to play. What is the issue? I like her and all, but she's just sort of... Yeah. You know, I think it's meaner to hang on to a relationship that you're not into. What do you think about the phase-out than just the no-call-back? I tried that, you know, but then she... Then you move. You don't want to hang out with her at all or you think she's just too fast? Yeah, it's going a little too quick. What about something realistic? Like you say, I've decided to become an Eskimo and hunt seal with my hands and my teeth. And I've decided that I'm going to make... I'm going to go into a new business. I'm going to make boots out of seal skin rubber.

1:19:47I'm going into the blubber industry. That might work. No, you can't do that. You've got to be honest. I'll tell you, Mikey, this chick would probably follow me to Alaska. She's kind of getting that way. She's a little clingy, huh? A little clingy, yeah. What is her name? Did you probably already say that and I wasn't paying attention? No. She didn't? I don't think you did. No, I didn't tell her. I don't think I told you. I used to know a girl named Mandy. And Mandy's, they get you. They're sweethearts, buddy. She's a good-looking gal. She's cute. and all that stuff, but... I knew it. I knew it. I knew you were going to play this song. It's a great song. Yeah. I always wanted to date a girl named Mandy so that I could play this song for her. I bet it would have never been done to her before. I know. Guaranteed. Maybe I should have built a house of cards with her. Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? Was it Can't Hardly Wait or one of the movies? Yeah. It was in Can't Hardly Wait. Oh, Mandy. Why don't you take the honest approach and just tell her?

1:20:50that you don't think it's working out. I'll break her heart, you know? I don't like... I should just not call her as much. Such a good bit. It is a good bit. Change your number. Move. Change your number and move. It's easy. Yeah. A hundred times. No, you've got to have the talk. Yeah, I know. Finger quotes. I think you guys said that's difficult. Pulling off a band-aid, though. Will has written on my phone screen that someone... named Mandy, is claiming to be the Mandy that he's talking about. How much money would you like to bet that it's a faker? I'll throw a ten spot on it. I'll bet I got five on it. Let's see. There's somebody that claims to be your Mandy, John. Is this Mandy? Yeah, this is Mandy. John, do you recognize this voice as your Mandy or a faker Mandy? I think.

1:21:53Well, we're supposedly going out, so I would assume that you would recognize my voice. Oh, you're a dead man. Is that man you're doing? No, we're not. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. I called in because I couldn't help but call in when I hear this person that I'm supposedly dating on the radio talk about how he wants to break up with me. What do you mean, supposedly dating? Like, we've never had any conversation about us being braided. So why are you so clean? Oh, what? John, I think I've solved your problem. You're not actually dating. Well, to me, it seems that we've, you know, we've always shown up in my place. Oh, boy. She just likes you. That doesn't mean I'm dating you, though. Why did you think that you were boyfriend and girlfriend, John? That means I'm your girlfriend? Did you purchase me at the store?

1:23:15It doesn't mean that. Oh, boy. That doesn't, for the record, that doesn't mean that. Oh, boy. I mean, you actually have to have a conversation about it. Oh, boy. I guess, do you or? I don't think you do. Maybe you don't have sex before you get married. Oh, boy. You know who doesn't have sex? Oh, boy. Mikey. No. You know, I don't think you have to have the conversation of, hey, we're boyfriend-girlfriend now. I think it's implied after a while. No, some people like it. I think they, and Mandy. Maybe you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Man, you're boyfriend and girlfriend. Because I don't think he's going to sit down and go, Hi, Mandy, would you like to be my girlfriend? Yeah, will you go out with me? Well, it's not even that. It's about a conversation about exclusivity. It's not about, like, will you pin me? I mean, it's not happy days. I mean, come on. It's not happy days. It's not about that. Hey, were you dating other guys, too? Are you dating other guys, Mandy? Yeah. Oh. Gee, I didn't know that. That's the definition of dating. John, maybe hit the clinic. Yeah, all of a sudden John is, now John's sad. Yeah. Now John's like, oh. I want you back. I want you back, babe. Babe. No, I should have been hitting other stuff. Oh. Absolutely. I should say I was sleeping with other people, but I should say I was dating other people. Yeah, you know, taste the water. If you're sleeping with John, you're probably dating him. She's dating him, and she's dating other people. But I've never had a conversation of exclusivity. Yeah.

1:24:39Wait, wait, wait. Hang on. In all seriousness, maybe I'm crazy. But Mandy goes over to John's house all the time. Yeah. And they're sleeping with one another. And Mandy, in John's words, is clingy or comes over. Comes over a lot. Shows up a lot. Yet Mandy has this thing like, there ain't no ring on this finger. She can go on dates. Test the waters. We've never had this discussion about exclusivity. But it really doesn't matter now because he just broke up with you, Mandy. I'm very upset now. Well, I don't know. He's like, well, maybe not. What's the difference between dating? The difference is that if you want to break up with someone, there has to be something to be broken. Sounds like it's broken. Wow. Well, I tell you what. I mean, you're calling in the radio and telling them that I'm clingy and that you're having such a trouble, you know, figuring out how to do this. You don't have to worry now, do you? Mandy, do you go, is any of what he said accurate? Do I go over to his house? Well, do you go, he didn't, how did he say it? It was like, she shows up a lot. Hangs around. Do you show up?

1:26:07Do I show up? Okay, wait, wait, wait. Showing up a lot implies, yes, that you come over without him saying, hey, would you like to come over? No, I don't just show up. He also shows up if he wants to put it like that at my place, too. Oh, boy. John, do you do that? I've done it a couple times, and she does it too. You're saying the same. Late night? It's called a booty call. Yeah, it sounds like you guys were made for each other. Yeah, it sounds like you're deeply in love. Yeah. How did you guys meet? We met at PB Bar and Grill. Oh, wow, well. So you guys are 19 or how old are you guys? No. 21? No, it's a young place. It is young. It's a cool place. That's their favorite spot. It's cool. It's a younger place. 25 and 37. I think I'm going to check it out this weekend. It's a cool place. Yeah, it is. I hung out there when I was like 23. You can eat someone that you don't date but think you're dating, I guess. Oh, boy. If you're on the market for booty calls, that's a good place. Maybe I don't check it out this weekend. No, it wouldn't be good for you. Maybe my throat's slit. Beautiful people there.

1:27:09Very beautiful people, but they're generally single and young. Then there's an understanding if you meet Pat Peewee. Is there an understanding? Is there really? Is there an underwritten law? I don't know. Ella B is like, I'll tell you in a night. Wow. Well, listen. I just think there just has to be some sort of conversation. And the fact that he didn't know that there was never a conversation had. And I don't see what the problem is. With as much difficulty as he's finding, trying to find a way to break up with me, it's a difficulty for me to hear him on the radio going, oh, I don't know how to break up with her when I'm not even dating him. I'd be mad. I don't know, man. You don't even listen to this. I can't believe she's even on the line. Well, listen, if she wants to continue to...

1:28:09Mandy, did you hear it because you do listen? Or did somebody call you and say, hey, John's talking about you? No, I just actually happened to hear it. It was actually, I just happened to hear it. That's why I was like, I was so shocked. I was like, what in the hell? Yeah. Well, I'm going to let you two lovebirds call each other. Maybe tonight you guys get together, you have a glass of white wine, and you listen to Commodore. Maybe make love. I didn't say that. Continue not dating. Continue. To make love. Yeah. Maybe wait until you get married. Maybe get married, then make love. Maybe get married and then have passionate love-making sessions on your honeymoon. Exactly. Well, for all I know, we could already be married. All right. I'm out of here, man. I'm on an Alaskan trip looking now, pal. I had to go make boots, Nike. All right, guys. Enjoy. Call each other off the air.

1:29:08Thanks, guys. Bye. Comfortable. Totally comfortable. So comfortable. Oh, my gosh. Love it. Oh, my gosh. Great choice, Woodsy. I love it. How good is it? Love it. I love it. You know this one? Yeah, absolutely. Pardon my heart real sweetly. Great songwriter. I like that call. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Best part right here. Was that Mandy singing this? Yeah. Oh, man. She is tough as nails. I love it. Hey, by the way, I have not said the word of the day yet, which is knapsack. And so when you hear me work that into a sentence, caller nine gets $160 value, four packet tickets to the wild animal park. Yes, Neil Diamond will be on next. It's called the split end. It's a great time. It might as well be called the dorky bangs. It's about the same thing. What's your problem today, pal? What's my problem? Yeah. You didn't hear? What? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, that's what. What about it? I'm not in it.

1:30:38Well, you got nominated. I got nominated. Oh, and you didn't make the cut. Yeah. Queens and Leon will get in there before I do. Probably. Absolutely. They have more hits than you did. Oh, that's not true. 100%. No way. 100% they will when their career is done like his is. I think their career is done. You just sit over there and smoke grass all day long and you think you can come in here and make your comments like that. I don't smoke grass anymore. I have short hair. You have long hair like a beetroot. I have short hair. Look. It is pretty short. It is short, but I just assumed you were a hippie. Tie and tie. That's a hippie and that's a hippie in there. Those are hippies. See, you're the grass smoker. You're the grass smoker? I know you. Don't you stop. I don't like. When she copies me, don't do that. That is childish. Make her stop. If she does this to me. I don't like when she does that to me. I'm trying to do something here. What are you trying to do? What are you complaining about today? I'm coming here to make a petition to your listeners to get me into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Let us, your congressman, do something.

1:31:56Call MTV. Call downtown Julie Brown. 30 years ago. Call Mark Goodman and Eric Knees. Call all the people from MTV. Okay. Eric, Hunter. Martha Quinn. Martha Quinn. Jackson. Jackson. What was his name? Michael. No. Michael Jackson. J.J. Jackson. You're just making up black guy names now. J.J. Jackson, that wasn't it. J.J. Jackson. You guys just sitting around working on your MySpace friendships all day? Kurt Loiter. Kurt Loiter, or Kurt Loiter, too. Kurt Loiter. Kurt Loiter. Oh, look who's talking. J.J. Jackson. J.J. Jackson. That's his name. Pretty ironic for a bunch of people that just sit around and load her all day. Oh, wow. In front of the grocery store. So good, George. Oh, don't give me that rim shot, you moron. He's on one today. Yeah. Look at my fat publicist, Cynthia, sitting over there. That's mean. That is mean, dude. She's deaf, you dummy. She can't hear me. Oh, wow. That's mean, too. She reads lips. That's why I'm holding up this paper in front of my mouth. Hello, darling. How are you? You look like an offensive coordinator. I know I do. She can't tell the difference. Well, you shouldn't call me a dummy. That's mean. Life isn't all about grass. No. That'll be. I never thought it would. Despite what you think. Purely oil.

1:33:22I bet every single one of you was sniffing Xerox paper before they came in here. Carbon copy? That's right. You're sitting there sniffing your purple carbon copy paper. Gineographed paper. Trying to get high, aren't you? Mm-hmm. I was huffing paint in the bathroom earlier. I found some whiteout that did the trick. Yeah, you know why? Why? Because you're all horse pill takers. You're all a bunch of dope-smoking morons. Whoa. Wow, you're so mad. Draft dodging, beatnik hippie. There's not a draft anymore. They haven't made lewds in 30 years, by the way. Oh, they haven't, eh? Is that the new way to avoid going to jail? No, they haven't made lewds. They don't even make them anymore. Clever distraction, by the way, pretending you don't know what a quailoo is. If you find one, I would be interested in seeing it. Meanwhile, those earrings she's wearing are made of quailoons. These are made actually from quail bones. I don't have anything against quail wounds. I'm not like these people out there from Pifa. Pifa? PETA. That's what I said. Everyone always corrected me like you know what I'm saying and I don't. Happens to me all the time. Fair enough. Cynthia, get me a tab. An RC? She can get you a tab before you pay for something, though. Tab's a soda pop. Oh, it is? Yeah, in 1986 it was. It's still a soda pop.

1:34:49I bought 957,000 crates of it in 1982. A little flat? It's a little flat. Oh, look at you, investigative reporter. You know Walter Cronkite. You're not. I know. Kind of like you're singing, Neil. I'm not trying to be. How about some Tang? You know Smothers Brothers, either. That's true. Thank God for that. You think you're funny, you know Smothers Brothers. I'm not Dick Smothers, that's for sure. No, you're not. You try to be. I can tell. No, I don't. Well, it's a carbon copy of it. The influence is just... I can see it. It's not. Written all over your face. I'm no Dick's mother. Yeah, you know Jim Plunkett either. True. I wrote a song. Weird. It's about Lady Gaga. Yeah? Lady Gaga, you called her before. I thought that was her name. Why don't you sue me already? I thought her name was Lady Gaga. It was my fault. She might sue you, actually. You want me to sit in with you? Yeah, I want you to do... Good cherry cherry. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Two, three, four. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Going too fast. What? You're going too fast. I play too fast. I do that when I'm nervous. You've never done it before. Why are you doing that? You're trying to mess old Uncle Neo up. No, I'm not trying to mess you up. Why don't you let me see that guitar? No. Give it back. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Neo, that's a tailor. Don't play it. Don't play so fast. Be careful. I'll try it again. Play slower. Oh, my gosh. Let's go. Here we go. One.

1:36:20Two and a one, two, three, and... Gaga loves me as you... Stop it. Stop what? Stop doing that. Stop playing it so slow. You just said I was playing too fast. Yeah, so you play it normal. You're playing it so slow. Give me that. Neil! I'm a real performer, kid, all right? Are you? Yes, I am. I'm Neil Diamond. He's a legend. I'm a legend. You were a legend. In your own mind. He's still a legend. Cynthia! She can't hear you. Oh, that's right. Cynthia, darling. We'll make it our attention we need. Yes, yes, yes. Cynthia, darling, go get the iron from the car. I would like you to iron my cape. Oh, my gosh. You're worse than Mikey. He's just like Mikey. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, and... I'm still too fast. Perfect. Perfect. That's perfect. Is it perfect? No, just don't.

1:37:51Do a little... I'm sorry, Cynthia. I didn't mean that. Take four. Here we go. Do you want me to get the metronome out for you? Sorry, what? Do you want me to get the metronome out for you? What's a metronome? Is that something new on a Macintosh computer? It's called a cuckoo clock. Keep that tempo. Smells like a combo number five now. Thank you, bro. And she dresses like a real fruitcake. And you know that you're... Thank you, bro. I like that song, but you keep throwing a tailor across the room. I thought he was getting a little weird at the end of it. I thought he was getting into it, man. He was just having fun. Just bleeding for my music. Oh, but I like that. I didn't feel like you were getting into it. I was into it. I thought you were trying to disrespect me. No, I was bleeding for it. You were disrespecting Neil Diamond. I was not. Wow. You go to Poway High. Don't lie to me that I go to Poway High. Do you go. What?

1:39:13No. To Poway High. I'm 35. No, you're not. Show me. What year were you born? 75. Liar! Liar! 75. Oh, really? Yeah. Why do you think that? Because he's a savant. I can give him any number and he can add it up and he can multiply and he can do subtraction. That's how he got that right now. You go to Poway High. I don't. Do you smoke grass? I don't smoke grass anymore. Not anymore. Anymore. Anymore. Wow. I don't do anything. It'll do anything. You're on mushrooms? No, I'm not on mushrooms. You're on magic mushrooms? Not anymore. You drive a VW bus? I don't. You drive a VW bus? I drive a Chevy. A Dodge Drafter. A Dodge Drafter? I'm an idiot. Yes, yes, Neil. I'm a Dodge Drafter. Uncle Neil is suffering from a minor case of dyslexia. I do that. I do that all the time. They roast me for it. I say things that don't make sense. Don't patronize me. I'm trying to help you. You're patronizing me by saying that you do it. You're coming! Don't do that. Okay. I don't go to Poway High. I've never even been to Poway. Then why are you wearing a cheerleading outfit that says Poway High School? I'm not. No, you're not. I know. Sorry, I was imagining you in one. That's disgusting. Answer me a question. Okay. Do you buy drugs? I do not buy drugs. Look me in the eye.

1:40:44Do you buy drugs? They're given to me, but I don't buy them. See, you're a drug dealer. Just kidding. No, I don't buy drugs. Stephen Woods is a drug dealer. Don't say that. Well, I think it's the truth. Our listeners don't want to hear that. Listen to me, patchouli oil. You listen to me, Old Spice. I would never wear Old Spice. What are you wearing? That is cheap. Jofon Musk. It's not Jofon Musk. It's rude. I just bought it at the gas station. Oh, gosh. You have so much on at stake. Check on Noor. Drakkar Noir? 25 cents. You put the 25 cents in the machine and you turn the knob. So you just took an air freshener and just rubbed it all over yourself? No, I bought cologne and I bought a condom. For what? From the gas station. For what? For what, what? What do you mean? To protect your banana or something? What do you mean, what? What? No, I don't go to Poway High. I've never even been to Poway. Why are you on one? I've never been to Poway High and Poway. No. I'm not going to keep putting up with this crap. Hey, Cynthia. Where's the iron? She doesn't even move, dude. She's just on her iPhone the whole time. She doesn't do anything on her iPhone. She sits there and plays that skiboo or whatever. Sudoku? Sudoku? Sudoku. Sudoku? What is that called? You're Sudoku, you idiot. That's right. She does a Sudoku. Puzzle. All right. I'll see you guys next week. See you, buddy. I can't wait. I'm into you. Got on this rascal and rode away.

1:42:16He gets so fired up, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. I missed him, though. He's so funny. Old Uncle Neil. 5701949. Our text is 949mikey at gmail.com. 9,000 stories that we have not talked about. Literally. Months after winning a million dollars in the lottery, the guy wins $2 million in the lottery. No way. How is that possible? The odds are absolutely astronomical. They can't cheat. No, they said the first time he won the million bucks, they said the odds were one in 2.28 million. Wow. The odds of winning 2 million in the Mega Monopoly are about the same. But the chances of winning both, you can't even, it's impossible to calculate the odds. Wow. Really? Yeah, this dude in Missouri, or Missouri, if you're from Texas, they say Missouri. No, really? Missouri. This is the worst thing you've ever heard. Missouri. Yeah, this guy won.

1:43:16$1 million on a $100 million Blockbuster Scratcher ticket. Oh, my goodness. And then this month he won $2 million on a Mega Monopoly Scratchers ticket. Scratchers. Wow. Good for him. That's crazy, dude. So he received $700,000 for the first winner, and then he'll get about $1.3 for the next. That's crazy. Before taxes. How could that be, before taxes? Before? It says both before taxes. They take about 45%. But this is before taxes. I thought you said Spider. I thought you said I was all right, Spider. You're not all right. Yeah, this is amazing. The extended restaurant week, which is where you get a prefixed menu, but it's a lot cheaper than you would normally pay at that restaurant. Yeah, for sure. You get a couple courses. You get a feast on a couple different things, right? Yeah, sometimes they have a specialty menu. It's pretty cool. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, it's been extended an additional three nights so that San Diegans can take advantage of discounts at local restaurants. Yeah, Pamplemousse does that. They did. They had good stuff on there, too, man. Yeah. They had really good stuff. They had a steak on there. They had their Kobe beef burger on there. Kobe beef burger. They had all kinds of stuff. If you've never been to Pamplemousse, you are doing yourself a grave disservice. It is so good. It is good. Go during restaurant week, because if you don't have a special occasion, this is the special occasion. Yep. Oh. Yes, why'd you let him through? What now? I think it's really... Did we offend restaurateurs?

1:44:46No, I think it was really rude to the elderly for having Mr. Diamond in this deal. We weren't poking fun at him. He was stirring the pot. Really? We weren't making fun of the elderly at all. No, you were. He obviously is nonsensical. He's not making sense. Well, that's true. Scratchity. Why don't you guys leave him alone and give him a break? He came in here. He came into our studio and wanted to be on our airtime. Yeah. I don't think you guys treated him very respectfully. Tried to. Comes in and tries to push us around, kind of like yourself. I don't come in and try to push you around. No, you don't come in because you can't get off the couch, Chaz, but you call in and try to push us around. I have what you just said on tape. Great. I'm going to podcast it later. Take your pants off, pal. What? What? You want to know Simpson, you creep? Yeah. I'm going to write a letter to Mr. Rick M. Jackson. Another one? Another one? One day keeps the doctor away, pal. One day gets you guys fired. Does it? He comes in here every day and tells us we're doing a great job. Great show. I laugh so hard. You guys are so funny. I have never come in there and said that. Not you, Rick. You love us so much. You love us. You wish you hated us. You do. You wish you hated us. I cannot stand one thing you guys do. You call in more than anyone.

1:46:15Ever. Then you're our number one M1. You are. M1 Buzzkill. M1 CB. M1 CBK. I'm not an M1. You are an M1. You're like an M10. I'm a JK1. What's that? Jagger and Christy. You don't even listen to them. Don't come in, Jay. They don't come into my voice. You can't listen online? So if you listen to only us, you're an M1. I don't like you guys. It doesn't matter by definition. You are an M1. You turn your radio down when you call in. You get to the point. You don't curse. You're a freaking M1. You want to know something? If I was an M1, how come I don't know that Craig Gass was on yesterday? I don't know. Don't you? I don't know it. You listened all day, and then you podcasted, and you listened again. And you called during the show yesterday. Yeah, that's right. You talked to him. The only reason that I ever, ever, ever listened to this. Show is to document it so that I can write a letter. Mean nothing. Nothing. We're not going anywhere, CBK. Okay? CBK. Captain Buzzkill. M1 CBK. This is our home. We're very happy here. We love it here at 94.9. It's our home. We have our own studio.

1:47:36Really? Yeah, really. How do I know you guys didn't just make that up and you're sitting in the same old studio? We have pictures. There's pictures. You know that you're on the Mikey Show fan page. You refresh it every 30 seconds. I am not on the Mikey Show fan page. I don't even know what that is. Oh, yeah. What are you looking at right now? I don't even go on Facebook. How did you know it was Facebook then? You love us. You love us so much. You love us. You're on the 949 fan page, too. You love us. Stirring up trouble. If you guys... Pretending they're not like us. Boy, he has nothing to say to that. Stump him. Stump him. Uh-oh. We should send him a new phone. No kidding. We should send him a phone. You should. I'm going to send him an M1 t-shirt. Yeah. We should send him a radio. We should have Chris. The next time he calls, we'll have Chris get his information. So we should send him. Send him some stuff. Send him a prize pack. Send him a prize pack. Send him to the wild animal park. Give him some sunglasses. That's right. Great day.

1:48:52This is the only one I've... Really? Not that big of a pat dance. Me either. The tough rocker chick, you're all the way out. All the way out. Show with us. I am. How many times have I done this at karaoke? Have you really? Is this your karaoke song? No, no. So many girls do. Woods called me yesterday about something that I thought was so funny. He put it on Facebook, too. He goes, what do you think? Like, what's the song that comes on and you just hate it and you can't stand it? And I go, you know what it is. And he goes, I don't think I do. I go, scar tissue. Ridiculous. Really? For me, I just don't like the chili peppers, man. I don't like them. Now, this conversation, again, completely subjective. It's like, you know, people like stuff or they don't like stuff. It's just, what is your personal song that's just a beating? And Woods goes, I woke up to Werewolves of London. Werewolves of London.

1:49:56And I started laughing and I go, dude, you are 100% right. That song is a beating. See, for me, it's anything Nickelback. Yeah. Punch me in the face. I like Nickelback. I'd rather get punched in the face than listen to a whole Nickelback CD. See, I bet that you listen privately and you don't talk. No. You're like Captain Buskill with Nickelback. I can't stand it. Yeah, I think she's buzzkill with it. No. Comes on in the car. I admit that the ones that suck, but I still like them, they'll go back. Not one of them. That's on your list, Woods? Anything Frank Zappa has ever done. I just don't understand it. A hundred percent. How could you freaking possibly? I tried. I mean, I wanted to get into it. Of course you did. Everyone does. So cool, man. Frank Zappa. Yeah. I just didn't get it. That surprises me about Wood, though. Oh, he's terrible. Terrible. 570-1949. I'll leave you with this one so that you can light the phones up and fillet. Hey, hit me with your bad shot. What'd you do? I chew up the next one. Weird. Really? It's always about this time of day you do that. Mm-hmm. I wonder why. I don't know. My Adderall wore off. Maybe. Why do I forget to print you a sheet every break? Sometimes you forget things. We are a band.

1:52:04Yeah. It's alright if you don't. Don't. Yeah, it's alright if you don't. I always get so mad when he does that. Why does he... It's alright if you don't. I've got to get in you, oh, baby. I liked it the first time when it was called Bob Dylan. Did you like it the first time? No, I didn't. Exactly. I'm not into Bob Dylan. Are we getting filleted? Uh, yeah. Are we? Yeah, people are calling. You're a legend. No, no, no. People are calling to tell us, like... They're hated. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on Carrie from North County. Who you got? I can't sound rage against the machine. I can see that, but I like rage a little bit, but I can see that. I like them a lot, but chicks, I could definitely sound. I don't want to get woken up from a nap by raging against the machine. I get that. Guerrilla radio. Thank you, Carrie. Hey, can I say hi to my husband real quick? Sure. I listen to you every day. I love you, fat boy. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. You call him fat boy. I'm just kidding. Oh, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see ya, see

1:53:26Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Even still, that's a creepy song. He's asking where her daddy is. It is creepy. I got a bad desire. I'm on fire. Maybe you go to the doctor and take some penicillin. Yeah, I never really thought about the fact that he is saying, is your daddy home? Yeah, he's like a little, he's a creep. He pulled up in an old brown van and he knocks on the door and he goes, hey, little girl, is your daddy home? By daddy, he means like your boyfriend or your husband. Then he called, hey, little girl, is your boyfriend home? Then he go, daddy fit better. Hey, little girl, is your lover at home? Yeah. Something different. Yeah. Hey, underage, is it time for statutory stuff? Hey, little girl, do you like candy? Why don't you get in my van and I'll show you my piece. M1HP from Point Loma. Hey, how are you this morning? Good. Bob Dylan, I saw this and watched him forget. Stoned. Yeah, weird. I saw him forget the words, too, actually. That's what I stoned. Did you sound like a concert a little bit? Yeah. You did? By choice? Oh, stop. I love Bob Dylan. He was actually with Paul Simon. I think it was back maybe 98. Did your parents listen to it when you were growing up? A little bit, but I got really into classic rock when I was in high school.

1:54:48Like Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin. And you know what? There's one for me, Grateful Dead. The two of them together, Paul Simon and his African world music. I'd rather sleep like her out. I like Paul Simon. I like Paul Simon. Paul Simon did great. Bob Dylan, that was when it was rumored that he was really sick and he might keel over. Hey, if you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal. I like it. Yeah, you can call me Betty. And Betty, when you call me, you call me Al. I'd slit my own throat. But I like the way he has the, I like the beat. Doesn't he sing, get off the bus, Gus? Yeah. Don't need to be coy, Roy. I want to beat, I want to beat the crap out of that guy. You don't like this. What is the deal? I hate him. He's terrible. Oh, it's not terrible. He's terrible. I like Simon and Garfunkel. Love Simon and Garfunkel. Paul Simon's solo. Oh. Oh. I love it. You're a white guy, you're a white guy from New York. Okay. Well, apparently. He got the beats first. He went over to Africa, got the beats first, and then added his own stuff to it. I dig it. Mother and child reunion. Paul Simon. Great song. How about this one? Me and Julio down by the schoolyard. Oh, my God. It's kryptonite. I'm feeling losing power. Okay, this one you have to like. Kodachrome, dude. Paul Simon Kodachrome? I don't know it. You do know this. I don't take my Kodachrome.

1:56:23You don't know this song? No, I don't think so. Wait, hold on. Let me hear the words. Maybe I've heard it. I don't. That's not too bad. How about Loves Me Like a Rock? Terrible. Oh, you're out of your mind. Love me like a rock, love me like a rock, love me like a rock. Flip my own throat, dude. 50 ways to leave your life. Oh, the worst. The worst. The one he hates the most. Oh, dude, you cannot dislike this one. This may be, I think this is my favorite Paul Simon song. What is it? If I had to pick one, this is it. Still crazy after all these years. Reminds me of New York City. This one reminds me of the Eagles. Reminds me of a silent cab drive through New York City. I liked it when it was Billy Joel and Jackson Brown. You have a point. I liked it when Jackson Brown did it. I cannot deny that you make a very compelling argument. However, still like it. Picture New York slow motion. Picture New York slow motion from a cab side window and it's little raindrops falling on that cab. I don't like the guy, man. That doesn't get you.

1:57:34That's smooth jazz to me, pal. That's good stuff. Who else I don't like? Anybody else? I don't know. You want me to just pull stuff out of my knapsack that you hate? No, but who else? Has anybody else got anything? Are we done with those? No, we're not. It's fun. No. I like to rip off. Well, it's just songs that drive you personally crazy. My wife had one yesterday that I fell over laughing. We got to install microwave oven. Oh, I love that song. Custom kitchen delivery. You don't like that song? Dire Straits. Thumbs down. Really? Thumbs down. We got to move this little. Lame. I was thinking of the video, though, and that was like... To me, it wasn't revolutionary even then. I watched it, and I remember thinking... Everybody was talking about two videos, man. That and Michael Jackson Thriller, and I thought both of them were lame. Yeah. Turdish. I did. I was like... Thriller? I think Thriller's lame. Dude, when his ears grew all dorky, like, it looked so terrible. That was kind of a bad effect. And those bad contact lenses, like, it didn't scare me. I was like, whoa, those are really bad, bright yellow contact lenses. They spent, what, $2 million on a thing, and it looked cheap. It looked dorky, and my brother was like, this is revolutionary. I was like that. I was scared.

1:58:55And I was like, revolutionary? This is dorky. How about... Oh, God. What were the ones we were talking about yesterday? Zappa, obviously. Zappa, for sure. Terrible. Terrible. It's almost unlistenable. Everything but almost. It's unlistenable. M1 Brian from San Diego. What was the word of the day? That's back, dude. Good job. You got it, dude. You won a four-pack of tickets to Wild Animal Park, $160 value. Hang in the line, okay? All right, thanks. You got it. Yeah, we had a few of them. We also, in addition to talking about the ones that we couldn't stand, we were also talking, yes. Meatloaf. Oh, yeah, I was going to say that. We're going to go all the way tonight. All the way, all the way, all the way tonight. And this one I know people will drastically disagree with, but Iron Maiden. Iron Maiden fan is probably tripping at it. Come on, Maiden fan and Bay String, they just shot out of their house. I know, guys. I'm sorry. I'm kind of with you. I like two songs. Two. Race to Dears and Run to the Hills, and that's it. And I love those songs. Love them. But the rest of it, the opera and metal mix for me. I'm not into the opera thing. I freaking hated Dio. Dio, I couldn't stand. Yeah, it's opera. Didn't like...

2:00:25There was another one like Meat Loaf. I can't remember. Kid Rock. Kid Rock. Yeah, pretty terrible. Kid Rock. I liked his album. I liked his Texas song, whatever that was. I liked some pretty embarrassing stuff. I liked some Limp Bizkit songs. I did, too. I did. I liked some Limp Bizkit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did it all for the monkey. Oh, the cookie. I know. That's pretty terrible. When you listen to the words, it's terrible. But I kind of liked it. Break stuff. Yeah, I like break stuff. Wow. Just one of those days. What about Michael Bublé? Yeah, terrible. I can't see him. Michael Bublé, to me, is the Neil Diamond of our generation. And in about 30 years, women that are really hot right now will be going to see him in Vegas. Oh, yeah. He'll be about 40 pounds heavier. Yeah. And they will, too. And they will be wearing their Michael Bublé T-shirts and holding up.

2:01:29Their Michael Buble programs that they just bought in the concession. Throwing their granny panties up on stage real nice. Yeah. I got another one. And they'll be drinking white wine out of plastic. Plastic cups. Cups. How about the Sex Pistols? Don't know a song. I like the Sex Pistols. It's terrible. May the road rise with you. It's all good. I like those. Don't like it. Terrible. I said Cyndi Lauper is an underrated singer. I think she's got a beautiful voice. So do I. I love Time After Time. I think that people think that she's a clown because of the stupid voice when she talks. And some people think she's a clown because girls want to have fun. She's sticky, sticky. Hello, Mikey. And her hair and stuff, yeah. Beautiful voice, though. Overrated singer, Madonna. Oh, I don't think that, see, I've never got the feeling that people thought that she was a great vocalist.

2:02:28Yeah. I've never got that feeling. Performer. Yeah, I guess. Performer. I mean, you know. But who knew when she got signed on with her first record that she was being a good performer? Remember the British thing that you told me? Oh, yeah. Oh, it was dying. Dying laughing. What was it? I said, I don't like, I really am not a fan of those 80s songs that had the British accent in them. Mm-hmm. The West End Girls and the West End Girls. The East End Boys and West End Girls. I always wondered how they dropped, like, a lot of, like, English or British singers would drop the accent when they sang. It's not American. Yeah. But those guys did not. Oh, my gosh. I just wanted to, ugh. Hated that stuff in the 80s. 570-1949. People are calling in to tell us. This is M1 Neal. Neal, are you there? I'm here, man. You know, who tears me up is the rabid fans over Tom Waite. Oh, my God, I know. He's terrible. You like him, I love him. Yeah. He wrote the song Jersey Girl. The frustration just drives me insane. Ditto. Oh, yeah. Not me, Lover, because my mom listened to it. It's so cool to like Tom Waite. I bought...

2:03:48I bought two records that I'm embarrassed that I even spent money for. One was Tom Waits. The other one was Nick Cave. Everybody, oh, Nick Cave. He's brilliant. I put it on and I go, I literally threw it out my window. You have to be in a mood to listen to Nick Cave. Money well spent. I refuse to be the guy that will listen to music because it's cool. I cannot do it. I tried. I can't be into something because it's cool. You just have to like it. Sometimes you can't help what you like. Hey, you know Star Wars might come out in 3D? They're talking about doing Star Wars in 3D. Weird. Greetings. I don't think it'll look cool. I don't think they can... I'd watch it. I'd love Star Wars. Of course I would. I would. You're up on it. But I just don't think... You like girls. I do. But I was five when it came out, so I didn't really like girls then. Star Wars I can deal with. Even though, I bet if I watch it now, I'll be like, ugh, git. When I was a kid, I was all the way in. All the way in. You were younger. Yeah. You were younger. I was seven when it came out. Maybe I was younger. I saw Return of the Jedi three times in the theater in the same day. I loved it. That's with the Ewoks? Mm-hmm. I love that. Yeah, it was great. I thought it looked fake. I love the Ewoks running into the forest. It's the best. Yeah, it's going to be converted. They look like Muppets. They do. They look like my dogs, actually. My dogs look like Ewoks. Yeah. They're converted into 3D starting in 2012. Here's the thing, man. I didn't understand Star Wars when I was seven.

2:05:13All my friends loved it, and I'm like, I don't know what they're talking about in the movie. I don't understand it. I didn't understand until years later. Why do people like it so much? It was huge. I was like, what's Dagobah? Oh, I hated it. I thought, I don't get it at all. I just don't understand it. I don't understand the words. What are they talking about? Yeah, stuff's blowing up, but I don't get it. I was just in on Luke Skywalker. I just thought you guys were cool, dude. Me too. I thought he was so cool. He was pretty cool. He was cool. Mark Hamill. Mark Hamill? Hamill. I have Corvette Summer with Mark Hamill on DVD. Nice. You know that movie? How about The Doors? Do you guys like The Doors? I love The Doors. I love The Doors. I like them. I didn't get into a lot of their songs. It was like the mainstream songs, but nothing else. I like the deep cuts, man. That was my guy, man. Jim Morris was my man when I was a little kid. Good influence. You know what Ian Woods disagree on? What? Stevie Ray Vaughan. Terrible. I love you. Terrible. I'm from Texas, and when I hear that guy sing, he has one song that I love. It's called Life by the Drop. That's an acoustic song he did. But the rest, I'm like, oh, my God, that voice. I hate it. That's what I grew up on, dude.

2:06:33And I can't stand it. Is it flooding down in Texas? Oh, my goodness, man. I remember I discovered him so late in life and just thought it was amazing music. The guy can shred. I mean, he's a great guitar player. Top three, probably. One of the best road trips ever. Had that cassette. Popped it in. We listened to it the whole way. Came back. I think he died soon after that. Terrible. Let's see. That's what we'll take. That's what we're going to take out here. Find some Stevie. Oh, I can't believe Woodsy doesn't like that. Nope. That's his boy, too. Never got into him. I'll at least give you the one you like when we do. What's the rules for men? Do I have that here somewhere or what? Over here. It's in the magazine? Yep. What magazine, though? Esquire. See? Esquire. Why? Well, you know it's me, man. To me, I think. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it. Does it look like a leprechaun to you? You know my bit. No, I don't. That's a men's magazine. That's Esquire. Yeah, I know. So is Maxim. No, this is nothing like Maxim. It's classier than Maxim. This is polar opposite of Maxim. Polar opposite. It's a men's magazine. Yeah, without booby shots. Never. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's classy. Yeah. It's classy, but that doesn't change the fact that they may be selling me something that isn't true. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. That's what I want to see. I don't know. Let me see. These are the new rules for men. There's a ton. You got to...

2:07:59Oh, yeah. Is that sarcasm? No, those are great. They're great for men. As far as social networking, things that you should and shouldn't do, all kinds of stuff. Things you should wear, things you shouldn't wear, things you should type, things you shouldn't type. 50% more attractive if it's a black and white picture. Ha! Yeah, I believe that. 70% more attractive if it's a black and white photo and half their face is in shadow. Ha! If that shadow is being created by a kitten, they're holding it. Forget it. You can't fully utilize an iPad if you're wearing a Band-Aid on your thumb. I don't get it. I don't get that either. I don't know. Maybe I go through these. Maybe you go through them. Maybe I do some show prep. Maybe you're a professional, Paul. Maybe Rick Jackson is listening right now, and he's like, so we pay him for it? He's reading a magazine. He's coming through a magazine. Let me get this straight. This guy has ratings, and his deal is...

2:09:03He asks, where is this article? And the guy goes and gets it. He's never looked at it, ever. He thinks it's a nudie magazine. He thinks it's a nudie magazine. Not at all. He just starts thumbing through it, live on the air, to see which one of them will work. Maybe I start reading these letters from Captain Buzzkill. Maybe I give these a little more attention. Listen to this one. This is supposed to be the manliest cocktail order. Old-fashioned, no fruit. Sounds like the dude's a fruit if he's ordering an old-fashioned, no fruit. The whole point of the old-fashioned is to, like, muddle the fruit and the sugar. Woods, you were the one that said you thought old-fashioned was just, that's a beating. I just think it's an old drink. It was a beating to make. Holy cow. That's my pops drink. That's what we used to drink back in the day. But that was a, you know. What's the manliest drink, you think, you guys? Like scotch on the rocks.

2:09:58Yeah, whiskey. I drink a Greyhound. No, Jay, it's got grapefruit in it. I love grapefruit. It's not manly. It's a Greyhound. That's Rebecca's. That's her favorite cocktail. Me too. It's a girl. It's one of the girliest drinks. Or you go to the next step, you get a salty dog, and it's got the salt around the lip. That's a girl's drink. It's not. It's vodka and grapefruit juice. Right. Grapefruit juice. Yeah. It's vodka. I guess it makes me fruit. I'm not saying it's not delicious. It's delicious. You know what Manly is? Give me three fingers of wild turkey. I'm saying that Clay Aiken just called and said, that's a pretty gay drink. It's my favorite. Stop it. I've always wanted to be able to. This is so stupid. This is so stupid. I've always wanted to be able to walk in a bar and be like, whiskey. Just a glass of whiskey and be able to just drink it. I can't do it. It gives me massive heartburn. What about on the rocks? No. With water, I can. I can drink a scotch and water. I can drink a scotch and soda. I can't get a glass of scotch neat with no ice. Just a glass. I've gotten scotch on the rocks or whiskey on the rocks. I've never been able to do it. If I have like a sore throat or something, whiskey on the rocks and drink it real slow. But these guys that you see in these movies, they pour a glass of whiskey and they just drink it. I'm like, God, that's so cool. And it's really bad marketing because when I was a kid, I remember like...

2:11:19Someone on a soap wrapper would be like, ugh, and go right to the bar and just throw it back, and you're like, oh, that must taste good. Yeah, it tastes like a butt. Yeah. The larger the beard, the gentler the man. Oh. I wish Rebecca had liked my beard. Oh, beard. I thought you said beard. Beard. I did, too. I was like, wow. No, beard. Look how gentle that giant beard guy is. The larger the beard, the gentler the man. Like a big teddy bear. Yeah. Rebecca liked the goatee better, so I'm back to the goatee. I didn't even notice. I'm so sorry. Tap is always fine. It has always been fine. It will always be fine. I disagree. Tap water sometimes tastes like butt. Yeah, in San Diego County. It tastes terrible. It doesn't taste like butt. It tastes like dirt. It can be really bad, man. It tastes dirty. Maybe I go through these. Yeah, they're good. I told you. I'm so bummed that we're only playing this now. We're going to have to play this again tomorrow morning. It's that good. It's funny to me, man. Listen, I've been in radio 23 years. I heard this audio this morning, and I was almost late to work because I listened to it over and over and over and over and over and over and over. When we come back, I'm going to play for you this lady getting a tattoo and screaming like Wimpy getting a tattoo. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It's next. Boys, break it up. That's the loudest you've heard me, right? Ever.

2:14:45Yeah, but it wasn't at you. No, you're not mad at me. I'm not mad at you. You couldn't get mad at me if you tried, pal. And you know, hey, you know that, right? I know that. You know I know that. You guys said all your differences. It wasn't us. It wasn't about us. It wasn't us having differences. It was me having differences with the world. I'm frustrated. He's chewing his head cord. He never does that. He never does that. Those are his babies. Yeah. Mikey. Mikey. Get out of there, Mikey. Mikey. You gotta write poetry, right? Do you want to let anyone in on your frustration or we'll save that one? We'll save it. God knows. We'll table it. We'll evergreen it. One day everybody will know. I know. One day everybody will know. Because God will let everybody see. Even me. Truth will set us all free. Anyway. I wonder what Captain Buskill would say about it. Maybe he calls in tomorrow. I'm sure he'll call in tomorrow about it. I'm sure he will. I'm sure he will. I'm Mikey. Hi, Mikey. Hi. Mikey. This is the Mikey Show.

2:16:04That's right. What? You're poking a tiger. I didn't do anything. I never poked him. You didn't wind me up. I didn't mean to. You didn't. No, I don't want to spin him out. Spin him out at 10, not 9.07. At 10, 10.01, 10.02. At 15, drive home, pull up real close right next to him, smile at him with black tooth. That's right. At 5.59 before he goes to sleep? Absolutely. Never at 9.07. Never. Okay. Yeah, while you take that minute, you shouldn't chew on it. Yeah, stop chewing that cord. I'm not chewing it too tightly. Someone stepped on a duck. Stepping on a duck? What is that noise? Let's see. FM 94.9's 8th anniversary bash. What about that? That's going to be really cool. Woodsy, who's playing at the 8th anniversary bash? The Hold Steady, the Night Marchers, and... And there's going to be an appearance from the FM 94.9 station band as well. And I was...

2:17:33I'm supposed to be a part of it, and I can't be now, because I'll be out of town. What are you doing? I'll be at a wedding. Weird. He asked me to sing in the band. Really? Mm-hmm. You? Yeah. Can you sing? I sing backup. Nobody asked me to do anything. Garrett asked me to sing. Yeah. He wants you to sing, though. He wants you to sing? What was the song? Maybe Surrender by Cheat Trick. Yeah, Rebecca goes, what if you get up there and people are like, boo, you suck, we hate Mikey, what's about the music? They did last time, we thought the same thing. We thought the same thing, they cheered it, they go, what the heck? I love me. Yeah. God, two times in one day? Chris, you're in so much trouble. All I know is that Mikey is showing his true colors. How's that? Because he was screaming, wasn't he? No, he wasn't screaming. screaming at you? No, he was not screaming at me. Not at Woods. He's never screamed at me. He was screaming at Woods, and I bet he was probably threatening you with your life. No. No. He was screaming at him through the air. No, he was. Let me tell you something, CBK. Don't call me that. I'll call you whatever I want. I love that you have a nickname from someone from Nike. Yeah. All right, M1CBK. Listen, Chubb. I am Captain Buzzkill. Listen, Chubb.

2:18:51Mikey has never yelled at me. He's a delight to work with. You just said he was yelling. He was yelling, but he wasn't yelling at me. What was he yelling him out? Don't worry about it. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Keep your eyes on your frozen burrito and six-pack of Dr. Pepper. Oh, wow. You love us so much. Why are you keep calling then? Speed dial. Because 94.9 is the only station that I get really good. That's what you keep saying, but there's an internet out there with plenty of stations. Don't you have an iPod? No. Really? Liar. I do have an iPod. How do you listen to your podcast with a Nike show without... The version one iPod. The first one. The very first one that came out. Six inches thick. Yeah, it's got a rotary dial line. So you probably got an iPod before it was cool, right? Before everyone else had one. Right. As a matter of fact, I didn't get one. Yeah, you got it before everybody else got one, and that makes you cooler than everybody else. And you know what else is cool, LB? He kept the first one. That makes him so cool. I bet you listen to vinyl.

2:19:53Real good. I have a record player. Of course you do. Of course you do. Of course you do. Original casings. I love how he always comes back on to tell us. Just one more? Yeah. That he hates us. He does. Okay, this audio. This audio is... So this is a girl that was getting a tattoo, and I guess it was a little bit painful for her. Weird. You just came in with one second left and kicked a 65 yard field goal.

2:22:05Sounds like some of my relatives. Yeah, you know you're a redneck when your, like, exclamation that you yell out has an accent. Yeah. Ouch! Hey! Hey! Ouch! You think she smoked a few marbles? Sounds like oil. Why? It hurt! You think you can handle four more hours of this now? What? I wonder what she's getting. We have about four hours of work to do here. Hey, listen, man. The Confederate flag does take a while to do that. onto your arms, so you need to pull out. Here's what I love. He is as hasty as she is. Absolutely. He's like, hey, I'm fixing this. Hey, ma'am, I can put this Budweiser can on your ankle, but it's going to take a little bit. You want it to say the king of birds? The king of bears. Thank you. The king of birds. Genius. It's the best when you hear the needle. You hear the needle.

2:23:23You're killing me. Hey, don't do that. That's what's involved, though, now. It hurts. Listen, this bald eagle carrying a dead rat is going to take a while to get on. This giant rooster is going to take a little bit of time to get on your ankle. The American flag on your boob is going to take a little bit of time. Hey, this 12-gauge shotgun racket and a Confederate flag. Put itself on. We have to isolate like five things from that. I'm going to need that audio. I can't take it. You'll be hearing those drops for the next 30 years. If I had been there, I would have laughed hysterically. I would have died. Who's that guy? Hasn't even started yet? I think it's a girl. Think she'll do natural health birth? Think she ever complains about going to the dentist? Wait a minute, she didn't go to the dentist. Can you start it over and let's mark what we want? Yeah, let's see. Okay, take it. One. There's one. Two. There's two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Okay, okay, okay.

2:25:15Eight. That's the big one. So Sam Kinnison. It's Kinnison. You know why there's no food? Because you live in a desert. We got to have, when Craig Gass comes in tomorrow, we have to have him do that whole skin. Wait until he hears this. She's got approximately eight seconds of a tattoo. It's like she just got done going number one. Poor little dots on her arm. Yeah. Yeah, that was nine. It's killing me. It's killing me. It's killing me. 11. Oh, my gosh. Amazing. Amazing. It's like he's doing it perfectly. Yeah, yeah. I've had enough. I get your point. But you were banged. You're banged. I'm shooting you a tattoo of a Budweiser can. What are you doing? Okay, I've been punished enough. I'm in the wrong. I'll do anything.

2:26:46Okay, I'm ready now. It's hurting. It's hurting. It's the greatest. No way. Yes, we do. We have video. And I'll have Jay put it on our website. Yes. All in. How great is that? So what is she, about an eight, eight and a half, nine? No. Scale of one to a hundred? No, she's not. I'll just leave it. Great audio. We've got to play that again tomorrow. I'll laugh just as hard. Absolutely. It was greatness. Oh, that's funny. Let's see. You guys want to play Ding Dong Singalong? Sure. 570-1949. Ding along. Love me is like the lead and we're the rhythm. That's great. 570-1949. Your lead. You're Jeannie Page, all right? Yes. All right. So check it out. Here's the way that the Ding Dong Singalong works. You call us right now and I'm going to play a song.

2:28:29and then the song will abruptly stop and you have to take over. It used to be called Wuss Rock Jukebox, so I hope no one thinks I'm ripping them off. Oh, boy. You come up with this bit? I did. Yeah, okay. Sounds familiar. The curtain just got peeled back a little bit real good. Mikey's screaming. Anyway. Anywho. 570-1949. to another radio station. I heard the same bit over there. What are you, stealing it? Stealing your own material. Repackaging it like a moron. You repackaging it, idiot. Make some bread, you bread-making plenian. Mill some corn. Corn miller corn thief. Hey, butter churn, man. Go churn some butter. Hey, an omelette at the other restaurant. You make omelettes now, is that it? Stealing omelettes all day long, you omelettes?

2:29:53Stealer. Taking omelets from your house and selling them. That's right. I listened to another restaurant, and you know what they were doing? A Denver Omelet, only they called it the Denver Omelet Stealer. M1 Hot for Teacher is on the line from San Diego. What's going on, Mikey? How you doing? Okay, so here's how it works. I'm going to play you this song. It'll stop. When it stops, you take over. You ready? Yes, sir. All right, now, the only rules here are that if you do not know the song, you've got to make something up. Okay? You've got to be creative. Here we go. I didn't touch her son. Hey, listen, it was creative. Absolutely. So glad you didn't touch her son. Yeah, me too. I'm very glad about that. You are a winner, sir. You just won. Hang on the line, okay? Awesome. Thank you. I don't know what you won. Jay, do you know what you won? Yes, four-pack of tickets to the Camperland Camping World 300 race thing.

2:31:02Sounds awesome. I was loading the video onto the page. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a four-pack to Camperland Camp... Right. Race ride. Something. To Camperman Beethoven's concert at the Soma. A four-pack of tickets to the Camping World 300. There you go. October 9th at the Auto Club Speedway. There it is. M1 Vanessa from North County. Are you there? Yes. I know what you want. You want that camper land, camper town. That sounds extremely exciting. It is. It is. Just thinking about it. There you go. I'm going to play a song, and when it stops, you take over. You ready? Sounds good. Here we go. I've misunderstood the way that the game works here, Vanessa. You see, never mind. She has a good voice, though. Yeah, I've got a great voice. It's just that you're supposed to take over when the song stops, and you may have been listening. To another station, because that was a different song that you sang from that song. I've never heard that song. That's okay. That's okay. All right. It's okay. It's all right. Thank you very much. I didn't take my headphones off. Yeah. I didn't take my headphones off. She made up a song. She's new to America. I'm on leave from Curney Mesa. Holy crap. How are you?

2:33:13Now, hopefully you'll do better. Now, listen, if you don't know this song, when it stops, just come up with something creative and funny. Just, you know, come up with something, all right? Yeah, I got that. All right, here we go. Sorry about that. That was not creative enough for us today, Lee. That was nothing else matters. Sorry, you were very close. We'll get a winner today. Sure. Everyone in public from PB? You ready to give this a shot? I like the one or the Michael Jackson one. You want to just request one? Yeah, we'll just request one and do the one that we just did. What's the one that you know? All right, let's see if you know this one. Oh, I can't think of anything. That was staying away. Closet band. Sorry about that, buddy. Huge closet band. Oh, man, it's not even a closet band for me. I love it. It's good. It's good stuff. I'll be a plebeian. I'm all right. Idiot. What do you do? They've sold over four records. You're an idiot.

2:35:17M1 Stan from San Diego. I'm good. Are you ready to give this a shot? We only got one left, Stan. Make us proud, dude. Make us proud. If you don't know the song, just don't say you don't know it and don't mail it in. Here we go. Well done, sir. You are a winner. You won a four-pack of tickets to the race. Derby Park Tree. Camping World 300. Camping Tree. Hang on a minute. Hang on just a second. Very well done. I like it. Let's see. 570. 194. Wait until I read you Woodsy's Recap. What the heck is it? Urban Dance Squad? Yeah, Deeper Shade of Soul. There it is. When we come back, I've got to tell you about Woodsy's Recap.

2:36:41And this is great. Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband was criticized a couple weeks back because he called 911 because Zsa Zsa's legs hurt. And they were like, sir, you can't just call because your wife's legs hurt. You know? And so he called 911 again. And wait till you hear why. And we'll play you the audio next time. Over here is 570-1949. What happened is the flies. Yeah. That's right again. If you want to text us, it's 949Mikey at gmail.com. I don't know how long ago it was. It was probably about three weeks ago that Zsa Zsa Gabor was not feeling well. She was experiencing some pain in her legs, and her husband called 911, and they were like, well, is she not breathing? No, she's breathing. Is she this? Is she that? No, no, no. She's just in pain. And the criticism was, well, hey, man, you know.

2:38:39You don't want to have 911 if that's the deal. When you're that age sometimes, it's scary. Well, he called 911 again. She's about 115, right? Yeah. Can't curse. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. You called animal control. I called 911 if I see a five-foot snake hanging from my side. Outside on the gate? 100%. Outside? Just call me. I'll call Jay. Listen, I don't, listen, if you do, I don't criticize you. I would say, though, I would go call Animal Control. I would have panicked. I would have panicked. I don't like snakes. There's one thing, it's like, if it's in your kitchen about to strike, if it's outside, relax. Don't call outside. Take it easy. Relax. No. Texas would. Really? Yes, I am. I don't like snakes. Snakes everywhere. I don't like them. I don't like them either, but. Yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe you try decaf. Yeah. I don't like them. Decaf. Do you like them?

2:40:01I'm going to bring one in. I don't. I just, you know, I don't know. Maybe I call animal control. Yeah, because I got that on speed dial on my phone. But you don't have to. Okay, maybe instead of 9-1-1, you call 4-1-1. What, does a snake have a key? What if he slithers into my domain? Right. What if he's on the fence? Call 9-1-1. Ah, you wouldn't know. You just couldn't make it as 9-1-1? Information, what city, you know. San Diego, can I help you? Animal control. Snake was under sighted. No problem. We'll connect you. Living in a perfect town? Hello, animal control. Hi, it's Woods here. Four-foot snake. I'm like, sounds awesome. Woods from the Nike show. I'll stay corrected. Yeah, Woods from Woods on Sports. You know who I am. Yes, yes, the Incorporator is a really funny bed. When you get here, I'll do something. I'll do it, whatever. I don't know. What's your emergency? Well, my emergency is. That's... He's egg. Oh, he's an old man. Okay. There's a four-foot snake hanging from the fence. Is that something? Something hanging from the fence. My wife is a booger in her mouth. No, it's pain. Disgusting. I can't find it in her cave. I just bit my finger off. Ow. No, you did? I bit my finger. Like, the whole tip of my finger felt like it just came off my mouth. It did. What are you guys up to?

2:41:26Thread the hole in your bed. Oh, my gosh. Tony Curtis died. I know, but we had to talk about it. He died. Yeah, he is a legend. I was really upset. 85. No, you weren't. I was so upset when Tony Curtis passed away. I was such a big fan of the Defiant Ones and Sweet Smell of Success. Quit it. Did anybody see that weird flash of light this morning? Yeah. Yeah, the lightning. Really? Is that what it was? It was lightning? Also, some Like It Hot. It's a classic. That is a classic. It is. It's great. You're a clown. I would. You guys see big flashes of light? No, it was lightning. I like girls. Not seeing it now, though. I think it was an alien. Oh, wow. Maybe UFOs. I think it was just lightning. Strange weather. Yeah. Bizarro. It's like War of the Worlds. It's just like War of the Worlds. I have other good audio for you, too, that I want to play before we go. How about...

2:42:28Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, and thought it would be a good idea to go on MSNBC and let them ask questions about real issues. Real issues like evolution. Do you believe evolution should be taught as an accepted scientific principle or one of several theories? You're kind of getting over my head on this thing here. Yeah, I don't really know how to answer that question. All right, that's an answer. And that's what I like, is an honest politician who's willing to say, I don't know, when he doesn't know. Are you kidding me? What about Afghanistan, Levi Johnson? In Afghanistan, do you believe additional troops, U.S. troops, will solve the problem that bad? I have no idea. Okay, again, that's the kind of honesty. Maybe Alaskans will start to turn your way with that kind of honesty. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Maybe they will.

2:43:30Is that a dig at Sarah Palin, not to just make stuff up if you don't know? I don't know, maybe. Other Alaskans? I don't know. What about Pakistan? Maybe he knows about Pakistan. When it comes to establishing your worldview, I'm just curious. Your worldview? He's running for mayor, isn't he? Not governor, mayor. Mayor. Mayor of a little podunk town. Who gives a rat's A when he thinks about Pakistan? Hey, I'm not saying that. It's wrong. I'm just going to ask if you're defending Levi Johnston. Yes, I am. Maybe ask him about the old ice cream shop down on Main Street, not about Pakistan. Ask him if the Trix Rabbit's ever going to get the cereal. Exactly. I mean, that's what we want to know. No, but he's running for mayor of Wasilla, population four. I agree. I agree. They're going to ask him about Pakistan. They're going to ask him about Pakistan. It's not fair. I agree with you. No. I agree with you. They want to know his qualifications as a politician. Go ask the mayor of Escondido what he thinks about Pakistan. He'll be like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm worried about lifeguards and beaches and beach cleanup and stuff like that. There's no beach in Escondido. Yeah, you know what I mean. I bet he'd know. I bet he'd know. I bet you $1,000 he wouldn't. Oh, yes, he would. You go ask the mayor of Escondido. Hey, man.

2:44:48Tell me about your foreign policy and what goes on in Pakistan. He'd be like, uh... I've got an opinion about... I bet you he'd make something up that would sound ridiculous. Listen, I'm a dopey talk show host. You ask me about if I think we need more troops in Afghanistan, I will say yeah. I will say I have no idea. I'll say yeah. I'll say the servicemen are saying that that's what they need. I've talked to servicemen that say that we need more troops. I agree with Senator McCain when Senator McCain said, let's send more troops. I'm defending Levi Johnson. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. But I agree with you. I agree. I mean, they're obviously... He's on his own program. Why would we as the American public care about Wasilla? We want to know his qualifications as a... As a mayor of Wasilla? He's not running for Congress. We just want to know... Okay, you're a clown, and you're trying to get your 15 minutes. What are your qualifications? I think it's pretty funny that they asked him. Oh, I think they're doing it as a bit. They're doing it on purpose. They're exposing him. And they should. They should if he's going to run, and he's doing it as a bit. He's running for mayor of Wasilla as a bit. Probably. There's probably some truth to that. Oh, come on. Of course. He's doing it because he's trying to get back at Sarah Payne. Maybe I was a big fan of his Playgirl spread. I mean, good Lord. That's okay. You're allowed. Everybody's allowed to have their opinion. That makes my mouth water. Just hold the line, dude. Want to hear a mashup of Ghostbusters theme and Thunderstruck by ACDC? Yes.

2:46:16Passive aggressive today real good. Me or you? I'm passive aggressive. Woods is being a little passive aggressive. I'm being a little bit of a little tea baby today. Hey, what is Ping on iTunes? He's a Chinese guy. He works down. No, I'm talking about the new thing on iTunes. Do you know what it is? I signed up for it. Yeah, I've seen it. I don't know what it is, though. Which just takes his credit card and goes, all right, fine. I signed up for it, and I was like, oh, cool, I like Pearl Jam. Oh, cool, I like Alice in Chains. And I just started liking all these bands, but I haven't seen hide or hair of it since I signed up. I really even don't want to know. Can I look real quick? If someone calls in, I might take my headphones off. I was going to tell you what it is!

2:47:26You're not going to be able to tell me by looking at it. I was going to Wikipedia it. I'm leaving. Oh, boy. You, too. I was just going to find out what it was for you. Maybe send me a call. Tell us. I don't want to know. I don't need another social networking thing. I don't think it's social network. Maybe some aspect of, like, I don't think you can, like, chat with each other or, like, send messages about all the stuff you do wrong. On your radio show. Or, like, all the stuff you don't know. Ping used to be a thing that, like, they would say in AOL. They would be like, ping me. What's the deal, Chris? It's a social network that lets you let other people know what music you like. Artists use it to announce their concerts, what music they like, what you buy. You can announce what song you buy. It's just weird because, I mean, that last thing he said is different. But other than that, it sounds like MySpace. It's kind of like the like feature. You know how you can like something. They're like, oh, Chris likes Pearl Jam, but now it's like he just bought the new single from, and they're like, oh, let me check out that new single. I guess that's the only one difference, because you do that now on Facebook.

2:48:37Yeah, but now it lets you know, like, concerts you might be going to, songs you're going to buy. There's, like, little notifications on your ping. It's kind of on the left-hand side of your iTunes where you have your CD, all of that. Shows you notifications. You visit that. You update your profile. You put a picture. So it's exactly like that, but just within iTunes. Like, oh, Chris just bought the new My Morning Jacket single. Let me listen to it because I like Chris' musical taste. Okay. You know? Mikey just got the new Miley Cyrus. You can follow him, too, like Twitter. To me, it sounds like Facebook, though. Because it's linked exclusively to music in your iTunes, right? Yeah. So now Creeps can see what I purchased? Yeah. Great. I'll be signing up as soon as I get up. Now you're all guilted. Yeah, Woods just bought Quarter Flash, Harden My Heart, Great. Woods just bought Goo Goo Dolls' Greatest Hits and Stain's Greatest Hits. Jay Giles. Yeah. Woods just bought a new Rafi song, pervert. Weirdo. Oh, really, Zamfir? Yeah. Really, you pants flute artist? Easy, Enya. Or Enigma. Oh, my God. It seems like the perfect platform for someone to try to be really cool. Yeah. You know, I really like.

2:49:52Yeah, I only buy... You spend $42 to look cool. Yeah. I only buy the Stooges. Yeah. The Clash. Yeah. I just bought $8 with the Tom Waits singles. Tom Waits. I just bought Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, their first record that nobody has. You can see I spent $7. I got the early release. Okay. I pre-ordered it. I love it. Hi, Hill. Hillary just came in. Are you on ping? No. No, that thing's not. You've got to turn the mic on. Wrong one. There we go. No, I am not. You don't ping? I don't ping. It's too much. It's too much. I'm a late adapter, to be real honest. Me too. I am totally. Like, I got ridiculed incessantly for my cell phone.

2:50:45for a long time. Because you were carrying a giant bread basket. Yeah, I had to wear a backpack. Yeah. You had me sitting in your car to use it. Yeah, I am just, and you know, you guys were talking about the first generation iPods this morning. I have one. And that's all I have. I have one as well. Yay! It weighs four pounds. It's like a brick. Black and white. I'm like, hey, if it ain't broke, I'll keep using it. I actually replaced the battery in my original iPod so I could keep it going. I might need to do that because it's starting to lose its charge real quick. It's a trick. It's hard. Hey, I found a trick about iPods and cell phones. If you drop it in the toilet, stick it in rice. Yeah. What? Dry rice? Dry rice. Put it in there for like 24 hours. Yeah, holy crap. Separate everything out. Yeah, it works. It does work. Really? Like the battery from the, like not the iPod, you stick the whole thing in, right? Yeah. That's genius. Drop your cell phone. Stick the whole backpack in there. That's right. And it'll work. It does. Oh, okay. I told you I was going to play you this mashup, right? So let me give you this. Ghostbusters theme and Thunderstruck by ACDC. Awesome. Here we go.

2:53:26I love mashups. Do they really work? Some guys got way too much time. I'll tell you this. Mashups appeal to the little kid in us. Absolutely. I love it. They appeal to the little kid in us. Was this going to show up on your ping? You're going to buy it? Yeah, I'll be buying it. That idiot Wood's just about Ray Parker Jr. I guess he's trying mashups in his garage. I love it. 570-1949 is our number. And you can text us at... 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Is there a big story that I did not get to that I should? I have a crazy one. What? Have you guys heard about this hotel in Vegas with the death ray? It's all over the news. So the Vidara Hotel, I think that's how you say it. It looks like this. You guys can see it. It's kind of a concave inside. The pool is right down below it. The sun, the Vegas sun. Hits off the glass and makes it 20 degrees hotter at the pool. It's burning people's skin, melting plastic by the pool. It's like a death ray. That's new, right? Yeah, this is a new place. What can be done? They've already put some coating on it. It's not working, man. 20 degrees. So Vegas, when I was in Vegas two weeks ago, it was about 105 by the pool.

2:54:51Imagine 125 degrees with reflective light shining on the back of your legs. And then the water reflects it up. And the water, too. We were at Mandalay Bay, same weekend you were there. We were at Mandalay Bay, and we went to the pool, and we could feel the reflection from the Mandalay Bay. Isn't it the gold? The Mandalay Bay, the gold? Yeah, and you could feel it. It was weird. I think architects or whoever does that would think of that. Architecture. Architecture, yes. They would think of that. Yeah. Architects would think about it. But really, someone, who's getting busted for that? The architect, the engineer? They're all looking at each other going, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Isn't that crazy? Oh, there's a diagram of it. Yeah. Sunlight here, reflecting down the pool there. Just searing you as you're laying out 125 degrees. Different times of the year, the sun's at different spots. So maybe when they were architecturing it. Architecting it. When they were architects. Oh, my God. Pretty crazy. Yeah. Pretty nuts. Jack in the Box is closing 40 stores by Sunday. Yeah. You know, I didn't know they were a San Diego company. I did not know that. Welcome to San Diego. Yeah. I know. I'm an idiot. But they're not here, right? They're like in the south and the... Correct. It's southeast and in Texas. Jack in the Box? Yeah. The ones that are closing. The ones that are closing. Oh. That's good. So, tacos for everybody. You guys eating at a JBX lately?

2:56:17Love it. I love their tacos. You ever had them? No, no, no. I'm kidding. JBX was that fancy. Remember they tried to do the fancy jack in the box? No. It lasted about six months. Really? There was one in PB. I know. There was one in PB. They put like a fireplace in it. Oh, wow. And the sandwiches were fancy and they were like $8 sandwiches. Who's going to buy that? From JBX. You would and I would probably. Well, I mean, if that's what you're going for, you go somewhere else. You don't go to a... Jack in the box. You know what I mean? Okay, we've got to go. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Interpol. I'm going to start with Dead Kennedys, and I'm going to place them against me and talk about what's going on with them. Yesterday they announced that they're canceling every tour date for the rest of the year and did not give a reason. Oh, wow. So we'll talk about that. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will come back tomorrow morning, 6 o'clock, do it all over again. Craig Gass in the studio with us tomorrow. Yeah. We'll see you then. Like this shows out. Thank you.