The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/04/11
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
devotionalbiblical storyAmanda Knoxcredit card roulettePick Your PoisonMikey‑thonmarijuanabuzzwordfreeway shootingRocktoberfestdavid goliathmikeython
Mikey opened the show with a devotional on David and Goliath, then segued into the biblical story of David and Bathsheba, highlighting themes of courage and moral failure. The team later discussed Amanda Knox’s release, debated her guilt, and laughed over Mikey’s credit‑card roulette tale at a Dallas steakhouse. They played Pick Your Poison with Lauren O’Brien, announced the upcoming 28‑hour Mikey‑thon, and wrapped up with a kid‑friendly ‘I’m glad you asked’ segment about marijuana and dreams, followed by a lively buzzword game centered on the word ‘watch’.
What happened, in order
David and Goliath Devotional
Mikey reads a devotional about David and Goliath, describing David’s courage and the story of the small shepherd defeating the giant.
David and Bathsheba Affair
Mikey recounts how King David sees Bathsheba bathing, has her brought to him, gets her pregnant, and arranges her husband’s death to cover it up.
Amanda Knox Release Discussion
The hosts discuss Amanda Knox’s release from prison, debating her guilt, the lack of evidence, and the media frenzy around her case.
Credit Card Roulette Story
Mikey tells a wild anecdote about playing credit card roulette at an expensive steakhouse, ending with a $600 bill and the group’s reaction.
Mikey‑thon Announcement
Mikey announces a 28‑hour broadcast marathon called the Mikey‑thon, noting the emotional toll and preparation involved.
Pick Your Poison Game
Lauren O’Brien presents pairs of celebrities and the hosts argue which they’d choose for a committed relationship, sparking humorous debates.
I’m Glad You Asked Segment
Jay fields questions from kids about whether marijuana is bad and what a dream is, giving simple, child‑friendly explanations.
Buzzword Game – ‘Watch’
The crew plays a buzzword round with the clue ‘watch’, leading to rapid‑fire answers like ‘pocket watch’, ‘bird watching’, and ‘people watching’.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O’BrienJayRebeccaDavidGoliathBathshebaJesseNickyTim KellerAmanda KnoxHillaryJeremy
30,394 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Oh, man. I just got some really terrible news and a very, very close friend of mine lost someone very close to them. And I don't want to say who, but I want to ask people that pray to pray for the person's comfort. Just pray for their comfort. I knew the person and I love everybody involved. Really sad. Really sad. And so I don't want to really say much more about it than that because I certainly don't want. That's all I want to say. These are trying days, aren't they? They are. Every day. Every day. Every freaking day, man. There's something. Every day. Every day. But I read this really cool thing this morning. I read a devotional every morning. I stopped reading this one. I started reading it again.
It's really cool. It was really cool. Sometimes this particular devotional, I don't like read. And if you don't know what a devotional is, a devotional is this thing where every day it gives you a verse and then the person writes about the verse and then you just sort of ponder it. Well, I didn't like reading this one very much because it kicked me in the nuts most of the time. And so I was like, I put it down a little bit. And then I picked it back up again today. Picked it up today. And today, what it was talking about was David and Goliath. If you don't know the story of David and Goliath, Goliath was a giant. David was a small dude. And in reality, Goliath was a huge man. He was about eight feet tall by today's standards. He was a huge man. But, you know, in biblical times, they would have thought of him as a giant.
And he was a badass. In addition to being a huge man, he was also a fierce warrior and a badass. And basically, he belonged to a group of people called the Philistines. And they basically touted him as their badass. So whenever they went into battle, they wanted you to see Goliath so that you would poop your pants. And most of the time, the enemy did. And then when they put Goliath out there to actually do some fighting, he would just... Slaughter people, right? So God picks David to be a warrior for the nation of Israel. Well, you got to know this family, okay? David is a son of a dude named Jesse. Now, Jesse's got a lot of boys. David's the runt of the bunch, okay? He's got some big strapping boys, but the runt was David. And so when he hears that he's going to be the king of Israel, he's like, me? I'm kind of a P word. And I'm, you know, I don't really think I'm up to it. He says, no, you're it. Well, sure enough, as David starts to grow up, one thing that's very clear about him is two things. One is he loves God a lot. And two is he's got the heart of a lion. I mean, he may be small, but he's like Nicky in Casino. He just keeps coming.
If you bring a knife, Nicky will bring a gun and you better keep coming because he's going to and he's not going to stop. You better kill him because one of you will be dead. Well, that was him. He had the heart of a lion. And so David, who, by the way, in addition to loving God, was extraordinarily perverted. He really was. He had a lustfulness in him. He wanted the ladies. And he had a problem. Back then they didn't have porn, but they had their version of porn. It was called Peeping Tom-ism. And he kind of liked to do that. Okay, nobody knew it was late at night. Yeah, kind of like porn today. Kind of like porn today. I don't feel so bad. Nobody knew. Well, wait a minute. Not to pigeon-toe too much on that one, but he saw this hot girl taking a bath late at night.
Exactly. He's on the roof. He's looking at her. He's like, oh, wow. Oh, boy. Maybe not touch. I like to look and I think I want to touch. I think I want to touch. So he tells his dudes, he tells his boys, he goes, go get her. I don't know who that is, but go get her. And they're like, are you sure? He says, oh, yeah, get her. So they get her and they bring her up. Turns out she's married to one of his good friends. He's like, oh, no. Oh, no. You're married to one of my good friends. You're married to one of my good friends. You're married to one of my good friends. And I'm the king and I have him out there fighting right now. Your friend. But I got to slay you. I got to have it. I got to have it. I got to have it. I got to have it. So he does. He has it. Well, back then they did not have Trojan protection. Correct. And she got pregnant. And he's like, oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, boy. How is this going to look right? He's away. How could he be the father? He's away. He's fighting for me. Fighting for me. In the war. How's he going to? So he calls him back from the front lines. And this guy is a badass on the front lines. So David calls him back. And he goes, hey, how are you, man? I love you. How's the fighting going? It's going good. It's going good. We're out there. We're just kicking ass. We're trying to do our thing, you know? You're one of my best fighters. One of my best soldiers. Dinner for this guy. This guy, dinner. Dinner. Brings in a big dinner. More wine.
More wine. More wine for him. More wine. Thank you. So he's trying to get him drunk. Oh, gosh. And as soon as he gets him drunk, he says, listen, your wife, Bathsheba, cannot wait to see you, if you know what I mean. Right. Okay? So I want you to go have the time. And the guy says to him, even though he's a little tipsy, I can't do it. I'm indebted to you, and I got to get back out to the front lines. I have to. How crazy is this guy? I have to get back out to the front lines. He's committed to David. He's a soldier, man. He's a soldier. He doesn't want to make himself get weak. He wants to get back out to the fighting and get the fight. That's crazy. Keep that testosterone. Yeah, you got to keep the testosterone. I can't do it. I got to get back out to the fighting. David. Crooked Sheriff David. David goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. You've fought hard.
Go kill it. Get it. Get something. And the guy doesn't. He gets back out and he starts fighting again. Oh, boy. And David goes, oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh. So he tells the messengers, send him to the fiercest part of the fighting. Oh, my God. Send him to wherever it's the worst. Oh, boy. And they're like, okay. Guy gets killed. Guy gets killed. So this baby is born. And. Obviously, after the guy's dead, David says, well, she's single now. She's single. Unavailable. She's available. Unavailable, now available. So he marries her. Baby's born. God says, I haven't forgot. Baby dies. Kills David. Kills him. Goes out. He walks out in the desert. He's crying for three days straight. His men.
go out to him, and they go, hey, hey, hey, hey. All he knew was that the baby was really sick, and the baby was going to die when he went out and started crying. Men come out to him, and they say, David, we regret to tell you that the baby has died. He lets out one big last cry, gets up, wipes it off. He goes, all right. He knows it's over. And from that point on, he goes on to rule. He says he's sorry. He commits himself back to God, and bingo, bambo. No more pervert. No more pervert stuff. Now, why the David and Goliath thing? Because all he had was five soft, rounded stones. And what did Goliath have? Well, in addition to being a giant and a badass, he had armor, a shield and a sword. David had a slingshot and five good stones. And he didn't care if God did something with the first one or the fifth one. He knew he was going to do something with it. And so he went into it like a warrior. And it was... One of those rocks that hit Goliath in the head and cracked his head open. And he killed him. Now, because David was David, he also had some show-off in him. And so he cut his head off. And he had to carry that head around to show. Every time he saw people, he was like, hey, did you see that, by the way? Me. I did that. He was like, Nicky. Hey, you see this? Guess who? Guess who didn't pay their bills? Yeah, guess who thought he was a big shot? Ain't so big anymore, is he?
Great stories. Good stuff. Anyway, the heart of a lion. I think it takes the heart of a lion to go through some of the stuff that everybody's going through. And man, I got this message this morning and it crushed me. It crushed me because it's somebody that I love so much. And it's somebody that I know is in a lot of pain. And I love the person. And so I ask for people to pray. And I hope every single human being that's hearing this, even if you don't pray. and you believe that God is just some superstitious thing, who cares then? Just please ask him to comfort this person. And that's it. And in terms of all of us, well, we keep fighting the good fight. I, you know, yesterday, off the air, I had a good, hard cry with everybody in here. And a lot came out.
I told Rebecca that a lot of my past is like an infection. And it took about a year and a half for the infection to get to the point where it was, I couldn't ignore it anymore. Festering. Yep. Oozing. Well, what I've had to do recently is cut it. And I'm in the process right now of squeezing it. And getting all of that puss out. And it hurts. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts really, really bad. And listen, cried real hard yesterday. Cried real hard before I went to bed. Woke up this morning. Cried. Got to work this morning. Found out some tough stuff. And cried again. And I'm almost to the point where the tears are all gone. Which is good. I need to get there. First of all, they didn't come for a long time.
I didn't have any tears for a long time. It was as if the well were dry. Right now, it's the parched Serengeti, which is being drenched with torrential downstorms that will cause floods. Torrential. Torrential. That's where I am right now. It's just where I am. I went through a period of drought. There were no tears. None. Zero tears. Could not produce a tear if I wanted to. No anger. There was no anger. There was... There was a superstitious religion that I was dealing with. I was dealing with a superstitious religion that said, well, I believe in God. Therefore, I don't have to hurt. I believe in Jesus. Therefore, I don't have to feel pain. And then I heard a guy in a podcast, a guy named Tim Keller. He says, you realize that that's superstitious gobbledygook. The fact that you're a Christian doesn't mean that you don't feel. pain. The fact that you're a Christian doesn't mean that you don't go through excruciating times. The difference is that you know that it ain't about here. I feel sometimes like I just want to have a big slap in the face because I've spoke so many times and I've said to people, it's not about here. It's not about here. It's not about here. And now I am
100 percent in the grips of learning it's not about here feels like it's about it feels like it's about right here doesn't it right here right here right now that's it yeah and i don't have i'm getting perspective back i also was very frightened before on the radio for a year and a half i was frightened on the radio my fear is going away yesterday we did uh dumb drunk challenge i wouldn't do dumb drunk challenge For a year and a half, I thought, oh, I can't. I can't. Blah, blah, blah. I'm out of that. I came up with that. It's just a different name. It's a different spin. It's a different, you know. And so much of the stuff that I had come up with, and by the way, it ain't mine. It isn't mine. Not to offend anybody, but nothing that comes out of my mouth that even remotely cool belongs to me.
It all belongs to God. And if I don't believe that, all I got to do is walk into my living room, look up at the ceiling and say, these aren't your talents. They're mine. And if you don't believe me, why don't you try to come and get them? Consider them taken then for sure. Yes. Especially lately. I mean, you can't even win a fantasy football game. You're not asking for much. I can't win a fantasy football game. You are not asking for very much at this point. You just want a taste. I'll take a fantasy football win. If you got a fantasy, you may cry from joy. If you win this Sunday, you may weep for tears of joy. Yeah, my wife will go, did we hit the lottery? You're 0-4. Yeah. Yeah. That's all you need. I'll say no. No, baby. Tim Hightower scored! Age don't matter like race. Don't matter like place. Don't matter like what's inside. Let the kick drum kick one time. I'll let your mind unwind. As in the ceiling, looking for the feeling. Wide open, let your own eyes shine. Where the fight begins, yeah. Gotta have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world by the tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy. On FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest, supported by Vax.
October 22nd, 30th and University, featuring Everest. Transfer, the soft pack. Dead Feather Moon, the style tones, the creepy creeps, low volts, and the heavy guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. October 22nd in North Park. For tickets and more info. Log on to FM949SD.com. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say, use some imagination. I mean, roses? Billy? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter spot treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Rincon, we get you.
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Great deals on boards, wetsuits, gear, art, and much more. $10 at the door. Grom's 12 and under are free. Everyone gets a free subscription to Surfer Magazine. October 8th and 9th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. October 8th and 9th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. SacredCraftExpo.com. SacredCraftExpo.com. But wait, there's more. Don't miss our Tribute to the Masters Shape-Off competition honoring La Jolla legend Carl Ekstrom. October 8th and 9th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. SacredCraftExpo.com. I know. We've been together a long time, but I have to tell you, you are more amazing to look at than ever. If you haven't been truly loving your TV, you should switch to Cox Advanced TV. You make me laugh. You make me cry. You just get me. Right now, you can switch to Cox Advanced TV with TV Online for less than $25 a month. TV Online lets you stream your favorite movies and shows online for free. You can watch whatever you want, wherever you are. Tonight, it's just you and me. A good movie, maybe some popcorn. And with Cox Advanced TV, you get free HD programming and over 2,000 crystal clear HD choices. Plus get movies on demand up to 28 days before Netflix. Love your TV again. And make the switch to Cox Advanced TV, starting for less than $25 a month. And that's not an introductory price. Order online and save even more. Visit cox.com today. We are so...
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I don't think I gave the word of the day, so I want to do that. It's roundabout. Roundabout's the word of the day when you hear me say that between now and 10. Caller 9. Give you tickets to Blink-182. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That is Jay. Our phone screener is Krause. That's Krause. So, there's a chick in Michigan in high school named Brianna. She's the first female to play on the varsity football game and become the homecoming queen. Nice. Wow. She kicked a 31-yard game-winning field goal and then was crowned homecoming queen. That's insane.
Pretty cool. What's going on in sports? Well, there's an update on Antonio Gates. Well, they're saying... He's probably not going to play. It's kind of the bit. It's week to week with him. One day it feels okay, the next day it doesn't. They're saying don't really expect him to play against Denver this weekend. So just got to keep checking, man. If you own him in fantasy football, as you do, Miguel, I would probably leave him on the bench for a while. Nick Hardwick also has a neck sprain. He is day to day. May miss practice on Wednesday, but Gates is making progress. So he's going to run a little bit today, and we'll see how he feels. And then also got a little information you guys may be interested in. I found out who is going to play the Super Bowl halftime show. Who? Madonna. Oh, wow. Further giving credence to my true statement last week that the Super Bowl is a bit. No longer about the game. The freaking material girl. We'll get up there and she'll do a medley. That's going to suck. There's still a game. Is there?
Yeah. Is it going to suck? I mean, really? Yeah, it's going to be terrible. It's going to be exactly what you expect from her. It's going to be awful. There's other stuff going on on other channels. I told you last week, what do you want, Up With People? What? You want Up With People during halftime? What is that? Yeah, exactly. What's Up With People? Up With People is a singing and dancing group that my brother used to be in. He performed at Super Bowl XVI. Oh, really? They came to my school. Yeah. What the hell is that? Dude, Up With People. You meet him wherever you go. Bum, bum, bum. Hey, I never heard of him. Up with people. You know what they were? They were a group of talented young people from all over the world. So they would be from Ecuador, Sweden. Chad. Yeah, Chad. Everywhere, you know, and they would wear clothing that was representative of their home nation. Your brother was in that? Yeah, he was a drummer and up with people. Wow. Nice Bieber. Yeah, and so he performed at the Super Bowl halftime show of Super Bowl XVI. That's cool. Now, that was back when no one cared. About the halftime, you know? And I'm like, I don't want up with people. Remember when, didn't Foo Fighters play? How badass was that? That's cool. That's a band that you like. Yeah. It's Madonna. Still a band. Black Eyed Peas. Madonna's a step up from Black Eyed Peas. 100%. Yeah, they're just trying to appeal to the broadest audience possible. Key word being broadest. Man's game. Yeah. Don't men like to look at women?
Not 70-year-old women with cone tees. Don't they? Well, it is a man's game, except on Super Bowl Sunday. It's a woman's day. It's everybody. It's a woman's day. It's everyone. Did you see the Toritos commercial? I liked it. Guys like the commercial. I like it, too. If it makes me laugh, I like it. Garrett LeBlanc. I would just go off. Off for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. 24-17 bucks over the Colts last night. Boring Monday night football game that was. I had to watch Curtis Painter with his long flowing Thor locks trying to throw the ball down the field. It's ridiculous. Curtis Painter. Yeah. Boy, the Colts have slipped. They're 0-4. Not quite as big a name as Peyton Manning. Nope. So Amanda Knox is out of prison. It's Amanda Knotts. Yeah. Nice. Amanda Knox, as you know, was a... 70s.
Tim Conway, Don Knox flick. Yes. No. His name was Don Knotts, and you said Don Knox. 70s Tim Conway, Don Knox flick. No, this is actually Amanda Knox. Yeah, Amanda Knotts. Nice knockers. So anyway, she was convicted of killing someone a few years back. They had their day in court again. Yep. Let her go. She is home free, flying back to Seattle, I believe. Yeah, first London, then on to Seattle. Seattle. Where she's from. She is 24 years old, and going back home, I'm sure it's going to be quite a culture shock. A little bit. You know what I read? The court systems are different over there, obviously.
The prosecution still wants to appeal her not guilty sentence. What? Appeal her, you know, I don't know what they call it. Exoneration or something? Yeah. They want to take it to the highest court. Okay, but wait. And they can actually get her to come back? I don't think. They said it just takes a quick review of the results. I don't know if she has to be present for it or not. She ain't there. Yeah, but they can take it. She's at the space needle right now. Sucking down Starbucks real good. Exactly. Having some sourdough bread. That fisherman's war. Telling them to feast. They want to appeal her appeal when... You must come back. You are guilty. We know that you did this. You must come back. Why you do this, Amanda? You must come back, Amanda. You book a flight on the Virgin Airlines. I appeal to you. I appeal your appeal. I appeal, I appeal to your appeal. Prego, prego. Prego, prego. Get your ass back here. So anyway, gosh darn, you think that was a happy homecoming for her and her parents? Oh my gosh. Hugging and you probably don't ever want to let go? Yeah. They said there was just like, just an outpouring of emotion from people. And then there were some people out there like saying, shame on you. Yeah, of course. See if you could get my wife on the phone, Jay.
I can't, Mac. Next. Any other requests? Surf report right now. What do you want from me, Mac? I'm running a damn three-ring circus out here, Mac. You want me to be a producer or a little monkey for you? Just tap dancing? See, I get Chris to get your food, and then I'll get your wife on the phone. Hold on, I'm doing the surf report. Hold on. I'll just be Ma Bell, too. Just be Ma Bell while I'm at it, Mac. Anything you want, Captain? Aye, aye. Ah, senor. Let me fluff your pillows. Yes. Push in your stool. I want you to fluff. I want you to fluff my pillows. Push in your stool. What does it mean? Hi, Sugar Pie. Hi. We're live on the radio, so tell Jake not to cuss. Tell him to get to the point and don't cuss. So why do you think that Amanda Knox is not guilty?
Well, there's a few different reasons why, but primarily the reason I don't think she's guilty is because the, I guess the story that the prosecution has painted, it just doesn't seem to really add up to me. They're saying that it's some sort of a weird, you know, satanic, you know, sexual encounter thing gone wrong. And I just don't think that it fits her profile. combined with the fact that there's zero physical evidence that places her. At the crime scene. The crime scene. Okay, well, I have a question. And motive. It's just like, why? You know, why? I don't know. Okay, question, though. Question. True or false? Didn't she tell authorities that she was there at the time the girl was murdered, but she didn't take part in it? She said... Now, see, I didn't follow, you know, the case for closely. I can tell you. You know, my understanding is that she that she was interrogated in Italian for 12 hours or 14 hours. And that at some point later on in the interrogation, she said that she can have some.
visions or memories or something like that of hearing the girl scream or something like that. It certainly wasn't a confession. And I think if you consider the fact that the whole thing was conducted in Italian. I want to be able to understand you, but just like at home, a lot of times that Ryan, is that Ryan? Weird. What is he saying? He's happy. Bye, Backyardigans. Are they over? Uh-huh. They were watching the Backyardigans and it ended. So he's saying bye, Backyardigans. Tell him Daddy's on the phone and see if he'll talk. Okay. Mike, you mean. Rai Rai. Rai Rai. Do you want to talk to Daddy on the phone? Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Dada. Hi, Dada. Hi, Rai Rai. What are you doing? Oh.
Jake wants to talk to you. Oh, boy. So jealous. Hi, Jake. How are you, bub? Where are you? I'm at work. What are you doing? What are you doing? Is it anywhere? Yeah. I'm here. Your Uncle Woods is here. L-O-B is here. Jay's here. Hey! What are you doing, buddy? Uncle Woods, what's up? It's me. That's you, Woods. That's me, my friend. How are you? I'm good. You're good. You want to play Cash Cab soon? Yes. Okay, I will. Soon. Very soon. Another day that I see you. I'll see you soon and we'll play the cash cap. Yeah, that will happen. Okay, that'll happen. Yes. What are you doing, buddy? Is that you? That's me. That's me. I'm just hanging out here with your dad.
I'm moving to kindergarten today. All right. Boy, big stuff happening. Good job. I love it. I started kindergarten. That's right. That's right. Wow, man, you're good. And this is, um, what is it? Is it my birthday or what number day? It already happened, buddy. Hey, you want to say hi to Auntie Lauren? Fourth is right now. That's right. Do you want to say hello to? Auntie L.O.B. Hi, Jakey. It's L.O.B., buddy. Oh, wow. Taking the phone away. That was fantastic. That kid is fantastic. Now, as you can see, autism keeps kids from coming out of their shell. He's so shy. He's so shy. Hello, my baby.
That's great. He's so great. Gosh. Oh, man. All right, honey. Well, thank you for the Amanda Knox update. Yes, indeed. I do think that justice was probably served. This is my opinion. Me too. Thank you, honey. Love you. Bye. Love you. Love you. Don't say that. So, yeah. Apparently, because she didn't have the right translator, they were getting her to admit to all kinds of stuff. Coerced, yeah. I bet, dude. They were all over, pressuring her. Maybe it's... Who do they think did it then? If it wasn't her, who was it? I don't know. And the slander charges, I can't believe that you get three years slander because she accused a bartender of committing the crime. Yeah, it was defamation charges. They do have somebody else. Now, her and her boyfriend got 26 and 27 years. Then they have somebody else in custody that got 19 years. But they believe that he did not act alone. His appeal failed, so he didn't get another chance for a trial. So he's just done.
Oh, man. I know that at the time that she was arrested, it was a time where there was a lot of anti-American sentiment all over Europe. And it didn't surprise anybody that they wanted to see an American or a couple of them. They wanted to see an American go down. It's been about four years, hasn't it? Four years. That is a long time, man. Oh, I bet she's happy to be home. Yeah. You don't have to eat the Italian bread anymore, eh? Back to Seattle. Oh, Starbucks. Seattle. Hey. Hey. Now you go back to Seattle. She's a spicy meatball. Yes, she is. She's a good-looking girl. Hey. Hey. We know this. You don't have to make a special point. We say ciao, Bella. Little angel. You're always talking about the body. Hey. It's not necessary. We know she is voluptuous. You don't have to make such a big point about it. You walk through the street to say, oh, they're like plums. Hey. You don't have to take it so far. We understand what the shape is.
We're not a freaky moron. Always take the joke too far, huh? That is a creepy Uncle Jay. Always take the joke one step too far. Creepy Uncle Jay. Creepier. Yes, way. So I was saying, this is kind of a cool way to... Be able to pay for a check if you go out with some friends. You've got three different people.
Who's going to pay? What's the credit card roulette thing that you do? Oh, my God. Does anyone here play credit card roulette when you go for dinner with friends? It's so much fun. It's like my friends and I go for dinner, and we actually eat really fast so we can play this game where we all throw in our credit cards, and then you get the waiter to put them behind his or her back, and they shuffle them and throw them down one at a time, and the last one is the person who has to pay. It's so fun, and I always lose. I have a credit card roulette problem. I like it. It's a nightmare. It's real fun until it happens to you. Do you lose? Well, here's what you do. I went with three guys, three other guys, and we sat down at Bob's Steak and Chop House in Dallas, which is like, it's Donovan's, okay? Yeah. Very pricey steakhouse. Yeah. And so you know you're playing credit card roulette, so you're like, yeah, give me a bottle of the 75, you know, like, you just go nuts because, hey, there's a one in four chance, you know, that it ain't you. Or there's a, what is my math? Three out of four, it's not you. You know what I mean? 75% chance. 75% chance. You're good. So you're like, yeah, I'll have the surf and turf. Yeah, let's get appetizers. Let's get salad. We'll get dessert. And you do the whole thing. And everybody does it big. And if you don't do it big, it's your own fault. The bill comes. It's $450. Easily. Right. Without tip. I think when we went, it was about $450, $500.
See, girls would never do that. We'd be like, I feel so bad. I don't want to ring up the bill. Oh, we did. Girls are like that. We went nuts. You know what's more fun? Just splitting it four ways. No. Oh, boy. It's a lot more fun. You know what's more fun, Jay? Is going, oh, wasn't me. I'm good. I'll tell you what's even more fun than splitting it four ways. Watching fatty pay for it. Yeah, exactly. That is the most fun. That's the best time. Oh, somebody going to pay this? I guess I'll get something to go then. Yeah. Oh, Mike, that's so nice. You don't have to. Oh, the fake reach for the wallet? Yes. Oh. Let's see. Pulls out like a string of handkerchief in his pocket. Oh, I found it. It's okay, Jay. I got it. I got it. Oh, good. You don't have to do that. That's nice. You don't have to do that. No, no. Oh, I don't? Then you've got it? I don't know. No, no. Let's just split it. It's not even a real wallet. Oh, wait. I left my wallet in the car. Mike's getting it. Hey, can I get another lobster? On the house. The go. The go. The go. Dude, roulette will make you sick to your stomach, man. Oh, man. And they called my name. They pulled my card. I said, oh, great. We got your drinks, dude. You're fine. Perfect. That was $600 worth of drinks. When we come back, let's do a couple games. We got, let's do Pick Your Poison when we come back. Oh, yeah. Pick Your Poison is great because.
L.O.B. will give us the choice. We've got to pick the lesser two evils. It ain't easy. Hey, if Chris hasn't left, don't let him leave yet. There he is. Oh, there's my angel. And we still haven't told you about why Hank Williams Jr. got in trouble, so we'll tell you that too. Hang on. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Heifer International's second annual Golfing for Goats tournament will be Sunday, October 16th at Mission Trails Golf Course. Heifer International is a non-profit organization that donates livestock and training to those around the world, even here in the United States, helping those who are in dire need of helping themselves out of extreme poverty. Jimmy Johnson's Kearney Mesa Chevrolet is the tournament's hole-in-one sponsor you could win a brand new black 2011 chevy silverado 2500 with four-wheel drive and crew cab win awards for the best overall score even the next top three teams closest to the pin longest drive and putting contest plus prizes through an opportunity drawing all players receive lunch and goodie bags so get the office together round up some friends but get on it because deadline to register is friday october 7th the heifer international second annual golfing for goats tournament at mission trails golf course sunday october 16th
You'll be helping out those in need, and you could be driving off in a brand new Jimmy Johnson Kearney Mesa Chevrolet Silverado 2500. For details and to register, go to GolfingForGoats.com. That's GolfingForGoats.com. AIS, man, they are making it happen for you. First of all, here's what you need to know about AIS. Summer is over. So what that means is that there's more drivers on the road. There's a lot of people going back to school, things like that. Plus, or in a bad economy, it's time to save dough. In any way that you can, in any place that you can cut corners, it's a good idea. Now, there are areas that you can cut corners, but you're not cutting enough to where it's really going to make a difference when you're actually going to the bank and you're going to an ATM. AIS actually is. By signing up for AIS, you really actually are making a difference to where when you go to your ATM, you actually have more money in the bank than you used to because of a simple phone call. 800-777-4247. All it is is free money. That's all it is. It's more money that you get to keep rather than having to pay someone. If it sounds good to you, 1-800-777-4247. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy, and we never miss the chance to give each other a hard time about something. So since it is football season, somebody's going to get raked over the coals every day for their football knowledge or lack thereof.
You can join in the fun with the FM 94.9 pigskin pickup. Show off your skills at FM 94.9 SD.com. Pick against Mikey, Hillary, Jeremy, me, and the rest of the jocks. You could win a $50 gift certificate to expressly gourmet. Get signed up and see more at FM 94.9 SD.com. Hi, I'm Joan Emory, conservation ambassador for the San Diego Zoo. I hope you'll join me for our walk on the wild side through the zoo to benefit our koalas and those in the wild. All participants will receive a colorful event t-shirt and admission to the zoo for the whole day. Walk on the Wild Side, presented by Mission Federal Credit Union, starts at the San Diego Zoo at 7.30 a.m. on Saturday, October 15th. Sign up today at sandiegozoo.org. The Honda Civic Tour 2011, starring Blink-182 and My Chemical Romance. This Thursday, Cricket Wireless Amphitheater. With special guests Matt and Kim. Turn the lights off. Carry me on. Tickets are on sale now. Buy tickets at livenation.com. Check out hondacivictour.com for full details. Presented by Fuse. Scream. Like it's just a bad dream.
But this is real. This is the recurring nightmare you have every Halloween. When the Scream Zone is resurrected at the Del Mar Scare Grounds. Here, hideous creatures hide in dark shadows and run among you. And sorry, they run faster than you do. So Scream. It just makes you easier to find. In a demented dimension known as the Scream Zone. Halloween has officially arrived in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds. Three killer Halloween events, the House of Horror, the Chamber, and the Haunted Hayride. Get a jump on celebrating Halloween. The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone. Get tickets and information at thescreamzone.com. Discount coupons available at Domino's Pizza and Ultra Star Theatres. Save time in line. Buy tickets now at thescreamzone.com. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. Don't miss the Tool Wars this Saturday, October 8th from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Tulip. They're located at 9660 Chesapeake Drive. Go buy and check out products from vendors like DeWalt, Makita, Bosch, and more.
Most tools are sold below cost during Tool Wars. Plus, you can enjoy some free tri-tip and barbecue chicken. Tool Up Tool Wars, October 8th. Be there. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any TrueStart or TrueTube battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts. See your Toyota dealer for details. Well, we've got some backup this morning. Also some rain in different parts of the area. So be careful. Those roads are going to be kind of slick. The 8 eastbound, the ramp to Lake Jennings Park Road. There's an accident on the left shoulder. A car overturned in the center divider. Fire department is on the scene. Also a problem here on the 5 northbound before Genesee Avenue. This is an accident over on the right shoulder. And the 52 westbound between Mission Gorge Road and the 15. Stop and go in the teens right now. This report brought to you by Jersey Mike Subs. Visit Jersey Mike's this Wednesday. October 5th for Mike's Way to the Cure Day. Help fight breast cancer. Jersey Mike's will donate 25% of sales to Susan G. Komen for the cure. Find locations at jerseymikes.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
with the FM 94 9 authentic surf report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by black yerba mate good tasty stuff hot or cold and this morning you might need some to get some energy going because there's not a whole lot of surf to be had out there today weak little remnant west north westerly swell overriding a very small remnant south westerly direction means small surf across the board running in that kind of ankle of thigh high range may be a rare plus up the waist higher so in the face at the areas most open to this total small combination That will mean beach breaks only today, not enough energy for the reef breaks at all. Overcasts are, I should say, cloudy skies this morning, or partly cloudy skies, kind of that tropical feel to it, and some light and variable winds putting a texture on some of the more open areas. Really, it's not all that bad, though, just a general lack of size and swell of any kind of sort is the culprit this morning. So if you've got better things to do, you might want to consider doing those. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts. Go to Surfline.com and for your surfboard restoration repair needs, you go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Yeah, this is the light.
Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Say why. On FM 94.9. Word of the day is roundabout. When you hear me say it, caller. Caller number 9. 570-1949. Give a ticket to see Blink. We're going to be playing Pick Your Poison here in just a second. I told you we were going to play you what got Hank Williams Jr. in so much hot water. Why is he in so much trouble? Well, he was on Fox and Friends and said this. I'll start with an easy question. Who do you like in the GOP race? Nobody. Nobody? You remember the golf game they had?
Ladies and gentlemen, remember the golf game? That was one of the biggest political mistakes ever. Why? That turned a lot of people off. You know, watching, you know, it just didn't go over. You mean when John Boehner played golf with President Obama? Oh, yeah, yeah. And Biden and Kasich, yeah. What did you not like about it? It seems to be a really pivotal moment for you. Come on, come on. It'd be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu, okay? Okay. Not hardly. And the country this shape is in? The shape this country's in, I mean? No, I don't know. Yeah, I don't understand that analogy, actually. Well, I'm glad you don't, brother, because a lot of people do. You know, they're the enemy. They're the enemy. Who's the enemy? Obama and Biden. Are you kidding the Three Stooges? That's only two. The one that makes the most sense is Herman Cain. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so uncomfortable. Well, a 14-gallon hat and a Western shirt and a beard and those sheriff glasses don't help. They don't help at all. Just very basic explanation and, like, just, see? You get it? Just because.
Well, why? I ain't going to say. I ain't going to say. You don't get it, I'm glad. People do. It's like, you know, hey, look at me. They're playing golf. Hank, what is your freaking point is what I'm trying to, the purpose of this. Knock it off, you know. They're, hey, they're playing golf with Obama. Okay? Okay. Right? Right. Hello? Hi. One equals two. One equals two? One plus one. Right. One plus one equals two. It equals two. You know what I mean. Look. What's your point? I ain't going to say my point, but you know what it is. As soon as that red light goes off that camera, you're going to probably scream it out. I don't know what you're talking about. They went and played golf. It was Joe Biden. It was President Obama. Yes, Obama. Right. And it was John Boner.
Bonner. Right. Boehner. Excuse me. John Boehner. One of these things is not like the other. Oh, is it because he's African-American? Nope. It's because one's Democrat. Really? Yep. Joe Biden's a Democrat, isn't he? Two of them are Democrats. Oops. My mistake. Hank, I think you're a little off point here. Don't wink at me. That's very creepy. What do you mean? Stop winking at me. What do you mean? Please stop winking. We're not winking back. We're not winking. Stop. That would imply agreement. That would say that we're... I'm shaking my head at you. No. Stop. No means yeah. No means no. One thing I'm gathering from your very emphatic statements this morning is that you are not a big fan of the parties coming together at all to kind of try and find compromise. No. All right, let's talk about Monday Night Football. We're more polarized than we've ever been, guys. You know it. You know it. I don't have to say it. They're inept. You know it. You know it. You know it, Fox. Inept. Ball droppers. You know it. You know it. We're polarized. You know that. You know it. I'll have to spell it out. You know it. They're inept. You know it.
You didn't because you used the name of one of the most hated people in all of the world to describe. Biden? Obama? I think the president. You can't use a Hitler card. Stop with the freaking Hitler card, man. You can't use it for anything. You can't compare it to anyone unless they are a murderer. A genocidal murderer. Even then people are like, that was too good. You could say Ted Bundy and Hitler and people would be like, easy, dude. Okay, here's who you got. You got Saddam Hussein. Yeah. Like Hitler. Yeah. And you've got, what's the other guy that we killed? Bin Laden. Osama Bin Laden. Right. That's it. Then you're done. Yeah. That's it. You're saying, if you want, are you saying use Osama or use Saddam Hussein? In the same sentence, you can compare them to Hitler. You can compare them to Hitler. Because they both killed their own people. Right. They were both all psychotic. I just say don't compare anybody. You know, maybe it's safe to just not.
Compare anyone to Hitler. Walk outside, God, this weather's like Hitler out here. No! Just leave it alone. Yeah, just stop. Let's say we retire it. I'm in. It is true, but I'm telling you like it is. That just wasn't a good thing. It just didn't fly. So anyway, like Fred Thompson said, you don't want to ask me a question because I'm going to give you too straight of an answer. You are very embarrassed to be Southern today. Very embarrassed. Well, we've learned that, haven't we, Mr. Williams? Well, here's the deal. ESPN yanked Hank's name out of Monday Night Football. Like, as if that does something for us, you know? I think it's time for the song. Well, my guess is they still ran the song. I don't think they did. They didn't run the song either. I think it's time for a new song. It's time for a new song. I like that song. Oh my gosh, makes me nuts. I think it's tired. I think it's... It's so tired. I do feel it's... Like, it's just dorky. I'd rather have... You don't even have to have music. I mean, lyrics. For me, there's nothing cooler on Sundays than... Just have a theme. A musical theme.
You know, I don't need the big redneck with the beard and the whole bit. We got the Saints ready to party. And the Chargers ready to roll. I mean, please with that. Kill me, dude. Gosh. Every time I got to learn how he's going to incorporate Peyton Manning's name. And we got Manning and Franks are down the field. And Favre is ready to throw. Really? We get it. You worked their names into it. And you probably didn't even do it. Somebody handed you a piece of paper. Yes. And I don't want... Every time I hear that stupid piano, start with a... And the cheerleaders are like, looking tough. There's nothing dumber than cheerleaders being a badass. Tough, badass cheerleaders. Tough, badass cheerleaders. Not cute cheerleaders. Like, we're going to kick some butt. Yeah, we're going to get them tonight. Just trying to get pumped up. This is what I want. I want the people that make the decisions to understand the audience on Super Bowl Sunday is everybody. The audience, statistically, by and large, is male for football. That's a statistical fact. I'm not making it up. It isn't 50-50. I'm not making it. If it was 50-50, I'd get it. I'd get it. Now, some...
guy that wears his jeans up to his nipples decided that hank williams was going to be perfect for men perfect and maybe it was when it first started but now oh my goodness i'm just pleased with it i would much rather here that pumps me up yep i'm ready i know what's coming it makes me happy makes me happy and this is not going to be popular but i'm sorry the only thing that is more annoying to me than Hank Williams is... And Faith Hill in big leather... And she's hot. I get that. Hot as a $2 pistol. Please. That's not even the point. But her doing the Avril Lavigne, I'm going to kick your butt thing.
At night, waiting at the doggy. Heading down to dinner, playing a quarter to two. We got something that we can do. Now get the facts. Where are you? I'm like, oh boy. It's an eye roll every time. Watching you do Faith Hill was the greatest thing ever. I've never seen it, but I can imagine. Where are you? Cause it's football night on NBC. Sounds awful. I'm like, oh boy. Is it mute? Just watch her dance. Mute. I'm in on that. Mute. I don't feel like a guy when I see her doing that bit. I mean, she's good looking. I get that part. How about this? How about you have the Foo Fighters up there singing it and Faith Hill is a cheerleader on the sidelines. In on that.
Oh, wait a minute, though, Mike. That would be feminizing a woman. Can't do that. How about just have the cheerleaders on trampolines? 100%. I'm not asking. Listen, it doesn't have to be dirty. I'm not looking for cheerleaders on trampolines. I just don't. It's the reversal. Imagine if you had the Foo Fighters in cheerleading outfits. Now, see, that would be hysterical. Now, that's funny. But they're not going for funny. No. They're not going for funny with Faith Hill. They're going serious. They're pumping you up. Serious. Imagine if the way that they pumped you up was a bunch of dudes with pom-poms and they were like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, cheerleaders. Would you be like, I'm pumped up? Stoked. And he's got, you know, he's got like John written across his uniform. Hey, listen, John and Phil, they got me pumped up tonight. I'm ready to watch football. I am ready to hit the gridiron.
You know, metaphorically speaking, I'll be here watching. Of course. Of course. Well, anyway, they retired Hank's name from the credits, and they may retire Hank altogether. Here's what ESPN said. While Hank Williams Jr. is not an ESPN employee, we recognize he's closely linked to our company through the open that we have for Monday Night Football. We're extremely disappointed with his comments. And as a result, we've decided to pull the open from tonight's telecast. So maybe he'll be back next week. He's going to have to come out and apologize. I think he already did, actually. I'll come out here and Russ talks and run him off. That was his apology. The actual audio. You know what? He's not the McNeil-Lair report. Right.
And he does have a right to say whatever he wants, no matter how stupid it is. You know what I mean? They got a right to pull his song, too. They don't like it. I agree. I just don't like it. I don't either. You know, and I don't care if the guy got up and he said, hey, listen, Dennis Leary. Dennis Leary said that autism is fake. It's a bit. It's a bit that autism is fake. And what those kids really need. is to stop putting them on Ritalin and to start whooping their ass. That's what Dennis Leary said, okay? Now, he's never lived with a kid with autism, and he was trying to make a joke. I get it. He has a right to make the joke. I got a right to not go to the show, but does he have a right to be on television? Absolutely. Like, if that dude had a primetime TV show, I'd be the last guy in the world going, Take him off. Right, right. All he is is stupid, and that's my opinion. Sure. There may be some people that have an opinion that he's right. I'm sure. Maybe some people actually believe he's right. Now, they've not lived with a kid with autism, so that would make them stupid and uninformed. That's fine, but you don't pull people. I was so down about that thing that happened to Don Imus.
Don Imus said that those girls were nappy-headed, blah, blah, blah. And it was the stupidest thing in the world. And he shouldn't have said it. And it was dumb. But he's not a political pundit. He's a comedian. Right. He's a comedian. And so if you don't like it, don't listen. But don't call for his job. That's so dumb. How did you hear it in the first place? Or did you? Right. Were you listening to Don Imus at the time? You knew what you were getting. You know what you're getting. You're getting a crotchety old dude. It's the same thing with Andy Rooney. He's from a different time. It's not even my fault. I'm from the 40s. That guy. went on his last episode of 60 Minutes on Sunday night, and the last thing he said was, and by the way, if you happen to see me at a restaurant, just let me eat my dinner. I wanted to say kindly F off, but they wouldn't let me on 60 Minutes. They wouldn't. I knew they'd edit it out anyway, so I didn't say it. Boy, I had a lot of other things I wanted to say, too. Everybody's so concerned with things they shouldn't be. Obama.
He's black. People make such a big deal out of the first black president. Well, I got news for you. Ann Curry's Asian. Does anybody make a big deal? What? What? Eddie, you can't say that. I don't know what I can say anymore. Exactly. That's why it's time to hang them up. Yep. Apparently, I can't talk about any issue that hits close to home. Right. Just stay away from racial stuff. Okay. Fine. Let's talk about something different. Let's talk about Hillary Rodham Clinton. Okay. She got in trouble with the nation of Israel the other day. True. They said she didn't know what she was talking about and they didn't respect her. Well, of course they didn't. She's a woman. No. Holy cow. That's just so brazen. What? Stay away from the sexist stuff, too. Yeah. Fine. No race. No sexist. Everything else. But what I just said wasn't racist. No, no. I said sexist, too. Well, what did I say that was sexist? That they couldn't understand her because she was a woman. That's true. All right. Anyway, let's talk about something different. Everything else is good. You're fair game. The other day, a little seven-year-old girl walked up to me. She said, why, hello, Mr. Rooney.
I looked down at her and I said, what do you want? And she said, well, I just want your signature. If you could, please address it to Bob. Now, I know this little girl's name isn't Bob. She wanted it for her dumb father who didn't have the rocks enough to come over and ask me for the autograph himself. So what did I say to the little girl? I said, if Bob wants an autograph, have Bob come over and ask me. Well, to that. she produced an actual birth certificate that showed me that her name was Bob. What the hell is this world coming to? First, the guy from Coldplay names his kid Apple. Now I've got some kid that looks like a little girl, and her name's Bob. Are you sure it wasn't a little boy? No! Well, now that you mention it, he did have long hair. Are they actually letting children have long hair these days? Yes, Andy, they are. When the Beatles first came here, I told my wife, Marge, I thought they were queer. Andy, you can't say queer. Probably shouldn't say that word. Don't say it. Oh, my goodness. Gay is the proper terminology. I thought they were gay. There you go. As it turns out, they weren't. Those guys were hounds. What does that mean? It means that they closed a lot of business.
That means they had a lot of sexual intercourse. The other day I wanted to watch some good television. Well, I turned it on and I wanted to see my favorite show of all, Dancing with the Stars. What did I find? A chubby guy. So I said to my wife, hey, who's the chubby guy? She said, why, that's Chaz Bono, dear. I said, Chaz Bono? I've never heard of such thing. Who's Chaz Bono? She said, oh dear, you met her when she was a little girl. She asked for an autograph. Well, I thought my hearing was going out. I said, I just asked you who the chubby gentleman was and you said I signed an autograph for her when she was a little girl. I darn near took Marge to be put into a hospital. Well, as it turned out, she was the senator and Cher's daughter. who's now become a man named Chaz Diddy. No, it's just Chaz. It was Chaz City. And now it's just Chaz. Are you sure it isn't Chaz Diddy? Yes, I'm sure. Maybe it is time to hang it up. It is. It definitely is. You leave your key card and get all your...
old typewriters out of here, please. Why do we need a key card? What's wrong with an old key? An old key doesn't work. Now we've got to have some sort of card to let us into a building. We need security. Every day he comes in, he just wants to talk about everything that's happening. Why do you need security guards? I remember the days when you walked in. You could leave your doors unlocked. Now there's got to be a security guard at Applebee's. What's the deal with Applebee's anyway? Maybe you should call Fox. Just go call the Fox. And what's the deal with all the these different networks. Now there's a fox. Isn't a fox an animal in the woods? When are they going to come out with a sheep network? Oh wait, they've already got one in Japan. Speaking of another time, when we come back, my dad will do a review of Dancing with the Stars. He did stay up late to watch it. And also, we're going to play Pick Your Poison with L.O.B., which is a brain squeeze. Pick your poison. She gives us all these. She gives a woman. We got to tell her which we'd rather be in a committed relationship with. Not a one-night stand. Yeah. A relationship. Long term. The Mikey Show. Call them. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming out on FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Bex.
October 22nd, 30th and University, featuring Everest. Transfer, the softback. Dead Feather Moon, the style tones, the creepy creeps, low volts, and the heavy guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. October 22nd at North Park. For tickets and more info. Log on to FM949SD.com. It can strike at any time, and you can't see, smell, or taste it. It's carbon monoxide, a gas that can poison you if fuel-burning appliances in your home malfunction. Furnaces, water heaters, gas grills, and generators are all potential sources. Seal poisoning can happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone. But prevention is quick and easy. Install a Kitta carbon monoxide alarm.
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This report is brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. You need extra value from your car. Firestone Complete Auto Care can help from oil changes to brakes to new tires. Together, they'll keep your car running longer. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest to you. Well, it looks like the lakeside area, the 8 eastbound ramp to Lake Jennings Park Road, there's an accident over on the left shoulder. Hammershaw Boulevard at the 94, a two-car crash, and the 5 northbound North Coast Highway, an accident over on the right shoulder. This report also brought to you by the San Diego County Toyota Dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer, has a $25 mail-in rebate. That's for any TrueStart or True2 battery that's been installed. Hey, why wait? Visit the expert. See your Toyota dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. BZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. So before I say anything else, I want you to know that we are very, very close.
To the beginning of Mikey-thon. Oh my gosh. In fact, we are one day, 21 hours, 55 minutes away. Thursday morning at 6 o'clock, we will embark on a 28-hour broadcast marathon. It takes everything you have to get through those last few hours. It is never easy. It's always difficult. There are surprises. There's tears. Definitely tears. Just call that every day. Yes. Lately, for sure. Jay, just... Is he kicking me for that, too? Yes. I was talking about myself with the tears. I cried last year. You did? Yeah, I cried last year. She did? Oh, I think I cried last year, too. Did you? I think so. I think the autism stuff got me. I didn't cry last year.
Well, you are certainly a man. That's what a man is made of. Tearless. My heartstrings were plucked, but... But I didn't do it, Mike. No. I'm not a P, so... You know what I'm like, Mike? I'm like one of the last living cowboys. Right. You know who John Wayne was, Mike? Yeah, he didn't cry. Guy never cried. Never one time. Fist kid was artistic. He wouldn't have done that ever. Never. He just dealt with it. He lost a lung. He said, I don't need it. Take the other one. Yeah, take it. I don't care. If I did cry, my skin would probably turn into like a baby's butt because it's sort of like the fountain of youth. Do you know that Mahatma Gandhi actually flew here? Pan Am bought my tears. Did you know that Nielsen Mandela learned everything he knew from me? That's right. True story, Mike. He asked me if I'd bless his sandals. You know that black guy, Nielsen? Nielsen.
I said, gosh darn it, Nielsen. I said no. Let's try to make Jay cry this year. Yes. That's our goal? Yeah, that's our goal. Maybe. Just take my food. No. Fair enough. Well, the Mikey-thon is a trying experience. It's a lot of fun. A lot of fun. It's a blast. The schedule is crazy this year. It's so packed. I finished it up last night. Oh, yeah. Get ready to hallucinate. Get ready to modulate. Get ready to fornicate. Get ready to percolate. Capitulate. So weird. Hello. Hi. I do not watch Dancing with the Stars. I tried watching it one time, but I didn't like it because everybody seemed like a good dancer to me. Right. And so I couldn't tell who was good, who was bad. But one person who does watch. Dancing with the Stars is my dad, Daniel. Are you there, dad? Yes, I am. And did you and mom stay awake last night to watch the Dancing with the Stars? To your mom, I was able to make it all the way through. There you go. My dad is a very youthful 75 years old. Isn't that right, dad? He's been married to my beautiful mom for how many years? We've been married over 55 years. 55 years.
Got married when mom was 17, dad was 19. Their first residence was a mobile home, correct, dad? Correct. In Chicago. It was one of those streamliners, you know? No? Streamliner, but, you know, it was a nice little trailer. Well, you could have let me get away with that, dad, you know? Didn't have to really call my bluff on that one. I don't know. Well, it was a nice one, though. It was. Well, all right, dad. Let's talk a little Dancing with the Stars. Okay. Who did the best last night? Well, I think all of America I just loved was J.R. Martinez. He just moved everybody, you know. He's the guy that's got the faces all burnt and all that. But he's a great dancer. All right. Now, Dad, I know you're going to feel this is unfair, but I have to ask the question. Did he move your heartstrings because of the condition?
Or because he's, in fact, Hispanic? Now, that's a legitimate question. It's a fair question. And I believe it's the question that needs to be asked. Is it that he's Hispanic that you love him? No. He's just very real and a great dancer. His moves are really beautiful. And he finishes them and, you know. That's great. What a guy. My dad gets it. Yeah, he does. Who is he? The guy? I don't know. You don't know either? I don't watch Dancing with Us. That's why I call my dad to get the fill-in. Isn't he like a celebrity? Because it's Dancing with the Stars. I would think that I would have heard of him. Yeah, he was great and he had really high scores. What does he do, Dad? What is his profession? Like, what is his thing? You know, I really don't know. I know that he got out. I don't know if he's out of the Army or whatever branch he was in. He's an actor. He's a former U.S. Army soldier. There you go. All right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, he was, he had a mine or something and ruined his face. I mean, it's all scarred up. That guy's a no-brainer because America's going to love him. Heartstrings. Heartstrings. Pulls your heartstrings. But there's others that are really good, too, you know. Now, who else? Who else do you like? Well, you know, here's a guy that probably a lot of people are not. I don't know whether they'll like him or not, but I liked...
Carson. Carson was pretty good. Hold on. Johnny Carson? No, no, no. Not Johnny Carson. Of course not. No, he was... Rest in peace. Carson Daly. Carson Daly. Yeah, Carson and Anna. Carson Chrisley? Yes, he's the guy from Straight Eye for the... Queer Eye for the show. Ah, yes, the blonde guy. Yeah, he's gay, and he's... And, I mean, he's totally gay, and he's very positive, and he's a good dancer. He's totally drama out there, man. He just puts it all out. And I think that that guy might even make it up to the top three. Now, when he talks, can you tell? Because I don't know who he is. But when he talks, does he talk effeminate? Yes. Got it. Got it. Yeah, he does. Okay. And, you know, I think they want everybody to be represented on Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I do. They should put a short Hispanic that's bald on there. They did. They had that ice skater guy.
Yeah. Or is he not Hispanic? No, L.O.B. No. She's like, well, Mike, they did have Liza Minnelli. Mike and Lawrence Taylor was on there. Right. True. True. Hello. Yeah. Mike, they did have a short Hispanic. Remember Emmett Smith was on just a few seasons ago. Evander Holyfield's daughter. Yeah. Remember, Mike? So they did have a short Hispanic guy. Evander Holyfield. So that was actually Muhammad Ali's daughter. But, you know. Oh, yes. That's what I meant. Yeah. That's what I meant. Tatiana. Yeah. I think they ought to get rid of Chaz. I mean, the guy is suffering, you know, and I mean, I know he wants to be there and I know he wants to prove something, but he's not a dancer. The guy can't dance. I heard he can't dance very good. After a few weeks, you know, the cream rises to the top and, you know, you start trimming the fat. Yeah. But it's got to be painful. I mean, he can't.
Pete with the people that are dancing right now. And it's got to be rough because you get embarrassed. And America's probably scared to vote him off because they're like, it wasn't the transgender thing. He's just not a good dancer. Excuse me. Can I speak to Lauren O'Brien, please? Hi, Lauren. This is an executive producer over at ABC. We traced your phone call. We noticed that you voted and you voted for J.R. Martinez. He's a great dancer. I love what you guys are doing with the program. Are you homophobic? Sorry? I said, and I'll say it again proudly, are you homophobic? Oh my goodness, no. Okay, why didn't you vote for Chaz Bono? Chaz Bono? Yes. Because he can't dance. Really? Is that it? Yeah, the guy has two left feet. Are you sure that it's because you don't think he's a good dancer? I believe that there's something in there, Ms. O'Brien, that is making you not vote for Chez because you don't like transgendered Americans. No, in fact, I didn't know until I started watching it that he was actually a transgender. Would you be willing to let us hook you up to a lie detector test and ask you that very question again? That seems excessive. I know it does, but then so does not voting for Chez.
Can you just make us a promise? Yeah. When you watch Dancing with the Stars tonight, I want you to pay special attention to Chaz. Because if you do not vote for Chaz, I will print your name on TMZ. Oh, gosh. And I will say, and this is the headline. I've already had it printed out. Oh, gosh. The headline is... Local person O'Brien hates transgenders. No, I don't want my name associated with that. I'm going to post it with your phone number. So all I've got to do is vote for Chaz. Chaz. Bono. And then nothing will come out. In fact, we might even put something that says, local girl loves transgenders. Should I not even watch anymore? You pretty much are going to just heavy arm, strong arm everybody? It's totally your option. You can watch if you want. Great. But the bottom line is, vote for Chaz. is a vote for you not being on TMZ. Well, I did see him standing out on the corner of Friars and for Z a couple weeks ago. Chaz Bono? Yes. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yep. Actually, I live in San Diego, drive up to L.A. Yeah. That was actually Woods from the Mikey Show. Oh, wow, really? True story. Give that fatty some mud flaps, big old jiggly fatty butt. Well, a lot of people have made that mistake before. It wasn't me. Thought that Woods was Chaz Bono. It's my ringtone. It's actually, that's not the deal. He is not Chaz Bono.
There's a vague resemblance. Well, I voted for him that night, nonetheless, because, you know, it was kind of the subliminal message, I guess. Thank you. Well, just vote for him tonight. Everything's fine. Thank you. So, Dad, your favorite to win the whole thing. Who do I think will win the whole thing? Well, I think J.R. has got a really good chance. And so does, I can't pronounce her name, I think it's something like Chyna. Yep. Just full of emotion. Oh, China Phillips. Yeah, the blonde girl from Wilson Phillips. Hubba, hubba. She's on there? Yeah. She's smoking. There you go. I think she's really, really good, too. And, you know, if I was picking the top three, like I told you, Carson, he's just a special guy. And he does some really neat things out there. And he engages the audience. And he's a very good dancer. Oh!
I know Carson. Big ham. Yes. Oh, yeah. The guy can dance good? I've never seen him dance, but I've seen Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, the show, and he's hilarious. Yeah, I know who you're talking about. He's a funny guy, and he's probably charming America. You know, he's making them laugh. Yeah, he is. Yeah. All right. It came off a little gay. A little, but that doesn't mean that it's totally. You know, I mean, that's fine. As long as it's a little bit, I don't think anybody's going to really... Dude, are you gay? It's not a question that I think is appropriate, necessarily. I think it's more... If you think that... I think he might be gay. He is. He's on the show. He's silly sausage. He actually is. All right, Dad. Well, we love you. Thank you for the Dancing with the Stars update. Thank you very much. I love all you guys. Thank you. We love you. We love all you guys. Can't say it. Can't say I love you. He said it last week. Yeah. Last week. Story of my life. Last week. Begging for that love. A lot to ask. He wants us all to know. Yeah. He's got a lot of love. That was the fourth one, you know, after all. Better if I were Mark. Word around the Esparza campfire is you're the good son. Yes. Yeah. Wow. But he tells Mark he loves him when he gets off the phone. He tells you too. Love you. Love you guys. You're in there.
Yeah. You're included in one of them. Yeah. You're one of them. Technically, I love you. Technically. Technically. I have to. All right, L.O.B., let's play a game of Pick Your Poison. Oh, boy. All right. L.O.B.'s going to list some girls, and we have to tell you which one we would be in a committed relationship with. Now, this is a brain buster. So, fellas, as you're playing at home, just remember, it is not easy to do. Okay. Ready? Yep. Victoria Beckham. Got it. Spice. Posh. Posh. Spice. Or Katie Holmes. Easy. Yeah. Katie Holmes, she's easily brainwashed. That's what exactly, you know, I want. First, I'd have to convince her that I'm attractive. I could brainwash her. You got to get her out of the Scientology bit, though. Think about that for a second. She's a Scientology bit. See, I think she's willing to just be switchy, switchy, willy-nilly. She's in a contract, though. You know, a marriage contract to stay with that guy for a certain amount of time. Yeah, it's true. You got to have a lot of dough to get her. But in the spirit of the deal, you know, in the spirit of the deal, I'm supposed to be with one of them. No, I'm not saying like a marriage certificate. I mean, like I think she's under contract to stay with that guy for a certain amount of time. With Tom Cruise? Yeah. So you'd have to be able to come up with enough dough to get her on your side. Well, it's not even a question that I can't afford her. Right.
All right, let's take that out of it. All right, assuming we have enough, though. Katie Holmes. Woods? Katie Holmes, all day. There's a scene in the movie called The Gift. Got it, Woods. Yeah, and she gets topless. She is a little miracle. Is it ever anything but physical for you? Yes, and she seems really sweet. Wow, you said that as if. The other broad is very... Icy. Icy and harsh. Pointy. British. Jason? Katie Holmes, because you know there's limited wear and tear on that frame. Who is Katie Holmes? It's Katie Holmes. Holmes? Let's look at Holmes. It's the same thing, you know. It's Holmes, Holmes. He uses the same reasoning for, like, every woman. Well, because you know Tom Cruise is a nut. Every woman, well, here's what it comes down to with a woman's, with a selection for Jay. How beaten up. are her private parts. Right. Which is the filthiest mode of thinking I've ever heard in my life. It's so filthy. She's a sweet little package. It's filthy. I mean that all the way around. That's what he says every woman. Did she have a C-section? Well, she always throws out ones that have had like nine kids and you're like, oh my goodness. I ain't doing that. Hell no. It's disgusting. Yeah. Oh boy.
Don't say it. Shut it. Shut it. He started the engine on the lawnmower. Go ahead, I love Pete. Okay. Mariah Carey or Heather Locklear? A whole lot of crazy going on. Well, if it were about looks, it would be Mariah Carey. Really? But I'm going to go with who I think I would get along with better, which would be Heather Locklear. I think that she and I could have very intellectual conversations. She'd be tough to satisfy. I think that it would be much more difficult to satisfy Mariah Carey. Two words for you, my friend. Tommy Lee. Okay. Again, you instantly jump to the sexual side and the sexual nature of the conversation. No, that's not what I meant. Get your mind out of the gutter.
What did you mean? I wouldn't provide her with enough hard rock and roll? Yes. That's exactly what he meant. Jay, who would you pick? Heather. Why? Because I just saw, I think she just turned 50, and she is in good shape. She's taking care of herself, and she's been a fantasy for a long time. Yeah, me too. She's had any kids. It's perfect. Was that everyone? I'm Locklear all day. Always wanted a taste. Mariah must be just crazy. I just think it's her demanding nature. Drama. If that wasn't the deal, I think I might pick Mariah. Diva-like attitude. Expectations. This one's a little strange. Tyra Banks or the Elvira Lady? Elvira.
Elvira. Elvira. Yeah. And she's probably, what, 90? 92? In her prime. Take her in her prime. In her prime, it's even easier. You'd have to say Elvira with formaldehyde. I saw Tyra Banks walking down the street in Chicago without makeup, and I was like, holy! Again, again, Woods takes it instantly to the physical and or sexual nature. You don't want to wake up next to that. Scare the crap out of you. Just her conversations and the way she talks. She's crazy. One of the worst interviews I've ever had in my life was Tyra Banks. Bad thing about Elvira, though, Halloween bit. Every Halloween. Every day is Halloween. But her gun show? You start planning Halloween in June. That's a problem. She's like, hello? You haven't been to the dry cleaner? I'm like... Babe, it's a cape. It doesn't... Do you know... That's why. Do you know who I am? It's starting June. I told you. The only guy that does it is Maureen. It has to be in June. He's told us that. He says it has to be in there by then. I'm sorry. I'll take the cape. I'll do it. I'll get the cape down there. Did you pick up the ears from Nikki? No. I didn't even know we were still using Nikki for the ears. Well, we are. And she gets all weird. So if you don't go pick them up today, I'm going to hear about it. Okay.
Do you still have her address? Oh my gosh. How many times? Hang on. Gosh. Nikki. Here it is. Email it to me. I'll email it. Gosh. We're lucky if we get ears out of her next year. It's true. Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson? Britney Spears. Whoa. Instantly. You know why? Why? Because Jessica Simpson farts on camera. Jessica Simpson is... Hello, Brittany. She's a public farter. That was on accident. And it was at a bad time in her life. It was a bad time in her life. She did shave her head. Yeah. But my... Camera. Yeah. But it was a bad time in her life. Different time. Brittany, as far as I know, doesn't think that's funny to do publicly. And I don't like it when a guy does it or a girl does it. I don't want any farts. Keep them away.
You can isolate that. Woods. Jessica Simpson. Brittany, she had a really bad time. She was a bad mom for a while. I'm out on that. She's over it. I don't care. I'm out on it. She fixed it. She fixed it. First, in any broad that would marry a guy like Kevin Federline, I'm out on it. Well, shoot. The other one married Nick Lachey, which isn't much better. I like Nick Lachey. He's a tool. He is a huge tool. You're judging the girl on who they used to date. Yes. Jessica. 100%. She just seems sweeter and not as crazy. You guys cannot get your minds out of the gutter, can you? No, no, I'm totally not in the gutter on this one. If I was in the gutter, it'd be Brittany because she's definitely got a hotter body. Yeah, she'd do some pretty stuff too. Oh, 100%. I can almost guarantee you that Jessica Simpson, she's the girl that has the ferret. You get on the tour bus, she's got a ferret. She's got a boa constrictor. She's got a ferret. You don't think Britney's got some ferrets running around? I don't, actually. Gerbils running around? No, gerbils. I don't think that she's worn boa constrictors because they had to in the video, but I don't think that that's what she is. I don't think she's the ferret owner. I do think Jessica's the ferret. Hey, this is, you know, sticky. Britney Spears walks into public restrooms with no shirt on. Barefoot. 100%. Jessica Simpson does need to take off the mom pants, so those mom pants are killing me. That was wild. She still does.
Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up! More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9. What's up? It's Hillary with some shows for you to check out. Like this week, Thursday night, Blink-182, My Chemical Romance, and Matt and Kim play together at Cricket Wireless. Friday night, CSS with men at 4th and B. Saturday night, Liam Finn's at The Loft at UCSD. And Sunday night, you can see Blitz and Trapper with Dawes at The Belly Up. Monday the 10th, it's an FM 94.9 about the music show with the pains of being pure at heart. That one's only $6 at The Belly Up. And on the 11th, Dropkick. Murphys are at House of Blues and Ryan Adams at Balboa Theater. And still to come, Bring on the Bright Lights presents Cut Copy, Foo Fighters, Manchester Orchestra, Boxer Rebellion, City in Color, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Dinosaur Jr. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner.
And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And, of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after you run, you want to feast on something. And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, You want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that. That's fearlessraces.com. Ovation Cell Therapy. You've heard about Ovation all over the rest. I'll see you next time. I'll see you next time.
You keep making it. Stop the breaking costs from harsh chemicals and heat styling. Restore dry, brittle, and damaged hair to a softer, smoother, healthier, more beautiful appearance. Guaranteed. Grow your hair thicker, stronger, and longer. Simply log on to OvationHair.com and click on FM 94.9 at checkout to receive a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to select FM 94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. Scream. Like it's just a bad dream. But this is real. This is the recurring nightmare you have every Halloween. When the Scream Zone is resurrected at the Del Mar Scare Grounds. Here, hideous creatures hide in dark shadows and run among you. And sorry, they run faster than you do. So scream. It just makes you easier to find. In a demented dimension known as the Scream Zone. Halloween has officially arrived in the Scream Zone at the Delmar Scaregrounds. Three killer Halloween events. The House of Horror, the Chamber, and the Haunted Hayride. Get a jump on celebrating Halloween. The Delmar Scaregrounds has mutated into the Scream Zone. Get tickets and information at thescreamzone.com. Discount coupons available at Domino's Pizza and Ultra Star Theatres. Save time in line. Buy tickets now at thescreamzone.com.
I was car shopping with a dream in mind and reality in my budget. But with the unbelievable rate I got, I could shoot for the moonroof and the five-star dream car. It's not your wild imagination. This rate is real and only at Navy Federal. Right now, get as low as 1.79% APR in new cars. Plus, use our auto buying program and save even more. But a dream rate waits for no one. It's for a limited time and only at Navy Federal Credit Union. Grab your chance to upgrade your dreams for the car you really want. Apply today at NavyFederal.org. Rates based on credit worthiness, your rate may differ. Have you noticed these days people are famous for, well... Being famous? It's like fluff and flash are more important than something you can sink your teeth into. And suddenly it's hip to order a $15 frou-frou hamburger? But there's hope. If that little old lady inside all of us just begging to yell, where's the beef? Same place it's always been. Wendy's. And now we've made our classic cheeseburgers even thicker, hotter, and juicier than ever before.
Introducing Dave's Hot and Juicy Cheeseburgers, loaded with premium toppings like crinkle-cut pickles and sweet red onions on our new buttered toasted bun. So say goodbye to fluff and sink your teeth into a real cheeseburger. Dave's Hot and Juicy from Wendy's. At participating Wendy's. Wendy's introduces Dave's Hot and Juicy Cheeseburgers. Wendy's thickest, hottest, and juiciest cheeseburgers in 40 years. Piled high with new premium toppings like red onions and crinkle-cut pickles. All on a warm, buttered, toasted bun. Try one today at participating Wendy's. You know when it's real. At Albertsons, we don't just wish you well, we keep you well. Today, when you stop by to stock up on groceries, you can also get a leg up on the cough, cold, and flu season. Just swing by our pharmacy, where pharmacists are available right now, right here, so you can get an on-the-spot. And find everything you need to be flu-free and healthy at Albertson's Save-On Pharmacy. Medicare and many other insurance plans accepted. Check with your pharmacist for details.
Shop at Albertsons through Tuesday and save with your preferred rewards card. We'll help you eat well for less because large peaches are 88 cents a pound. And Stockman and Dakota or Albertsons beef bone-in ribeye steaks are 50% off. Plus, now through Tuesday, October 11th, look for great coupon deals in our book of savings. See store for details and find these healthy savings at Albertsons. This weekend, turn your party into a Red Hot party. Stock up on Frank's Red Hot sauce for all your faves, like Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Chicken Dip, the hit of every party. Recipes at franksredhot.com. This report is brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Having trouble paying your mortgage? Federal helps available through Keep Your Home California. Call 888-954-KEEP or visit keepyourhomecalifornia.org. Well, it looks like we've got a couple sig alerts. Well, one that's been canceled on the five southbound Pershing Drive. They canceled that sig alert, but still.
You're going to probably find a little residual slowing at the 5 southbound at Pershing Drive. 52 westbound at Fenita Drive. There's the left lane that's closed. They've issued a signal alert, a four-car crash there. And the 15 southbound before Carmel Mountain Road in accident. It's blocking the left lane. This report brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. Find your motivation. Find your thing. Find your partner. Find all those things. They're pretty sure you will have found your way to thrive. Kaiser Permanente. Find them at thrive.kp.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Woods, did you ever, and Lauren, did you guys ever go from a point with your aunts and uncles where they went from being, maybe they went from being auntie so-and-so to aunt so-and-so to Bridget?
Yeah, just recently I've been transitioning into the names. I've never done that. Dude. That's scary. Oh, Woods. When my niece, Jennifer, called me Mike, I wanted to die. And I couldn't say to her, please don't call me that. I'm 36. I still call all my aunts and uncles. Uncle Jack, Uncle Mike, Aunt Brenda, Aunt Debbie. Yep. We have a big age gap. On my mom's side of the family, they've got... eight kids in the family. And the youngest one is like, she's actually younger than some of my cousins. So it got to the point where like, and she introduced us to her new fiance and was like, this is Kevin. And we certainly weren't going to call him uncle Kevin. No. So it just sort of transitioned into. Although when I was a kid, I did. Yeah. If there was a marriage, you called the new person uncle. Yes. But by the time we met him, like I was already in college and it was, you can't, it's weird then. Yeah. Hi, Uncle Joe. Yeah. I still do. You did? Yeah, I still do. Even when you were a grown-up? I still do. And they married someone? Yeah. Uncle and aunt? Aunt Brenda and Uncle Robert. Even though you were an adult when he married Brenda? I was like 16. See, that's still a key. I was 22 when they got married, so. There ain't no way. Yeah, that's true. You can't go from like, hi, this is Kevin, and shaking his hand to being like, hey, Uncle Kevin, as soon as they get married.
Hey, why don't you come sit on Uncle Coven's lap? Yeah. He was actually like, don't call me uncle. That's creepy. Yeah. Jay's like, you can call me uncle all you want. I prefer it. Yeah, we ain't related by blood. Hella beat. Call me uncle. Hey, Niecy Lauren. Gross. How you doing? All Maddie's friends, my daughter Maddie, 22, all her friends call me Uncle Jay. I spank him on the birthday. Yeah, spank him on the birthday. Pinched a grown inch. It ain't weird, you guys. I've done it forever. I've known them since they were little kids, which definitely doesn't make it weird. It ain't weird. I do it over the clothes, weirdo. Yeah, gosh darn it. I'm not a creep. Pervert. Gosh. Come here, Brittany. Hold. 24. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. My goodness. I hope I have the stamina for 24 spankings. And a pinch to grow an itch. One. Two. Jay, you just licked your hand. Do I have to stand here the whole time? Are you done, Mr. Isabel? Oh, my gosh. That is inappropriate.
I'm giving a spanking to a girl that has practically been like my own daughter. I know. I gotta go to class. Forgot which number I was on. I gotta start again. Yeah. Ow. That hurt? Yeah, that was a little... This is weird. How about that one? Sorry! Just kidding, girls. Get on the tramp. Y'all get on the tramp later. But Mr. Isbell, it's December. And it's raining. I don't care. Oh! You know what today is. It's Wednesday. That's white t-shirt day. Mr. Isbell, it's 45 degrees, and it's raining outside, and we're 23 years old. And Maddie's not home. Hey, Brittany, my first pair of shoes was brown. Huh? Hey, if we're just saying a bunch of stuff that don't matter, get out there. If we're just saying stuff that's irrelevant.
Then get your butt on there. The traveling will bounce itself. Get out there. M1 Molly from San Diego is on the line. Hi, Molly. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. What's up? My boyfriend just got a snake. And I hate this snake. Like, it's some kind of boa. It's huge. To make matters worse, he doesn't, like, leave the snake in its cage, you know, like a normal person. Is that a metaphor? He takes it out and tries to bring it with us, like, everywhere we go. Oh, gosh. He's, like, coiled around his arm, and he's, like, trying to bring it in the restaurant. Snake guy. So that people will talk to him? Your boyfriend is Slash.
from Guns N' Roses then. Because he's the only one that can get away with it. Yeah. Because he's slashed. Yeah. It's disgusting. That's hideous. And he talks baby talk to it. That's probably not weird, huh? I'm so sorry. Who's a big snake? You're a big snake. Oh, you're a big snake. He takes it out in public and he talks baby talk to it. He's a pretty snake. He's so handsome. I mean, it's a serious problem. Hello and welcome to Chevy's. Table for two or three? He's a pretty snake. Can I interest you guys in special fajitas today? I want to give a little kiss to the man. He likes Mexicans. He does. I'm actually Dominican. He likes all Latinos. That's Snake. He's a sneaky.
You're talking to him like a baby. This is Samuel. I'm not going to kiss Samuel. We have a policy. Oh, gosh, that's scaring me. Please don't. It's scaring the heck out of me. Oh, he likes you. No, he doesn't. We have a policy against him. He likes a Dominican. You know guys that bring the snakes in? No, because I would never hang out with them. I've seen it. You guys know me. If I see a garter snake, I'm out. I'm done. It's over. I'm scared of the guy that has the snake guy. Yes, me too. Big player at street fairs. Oh, yeah. Of course, yeah. That and parakeets. Yeah. Get. Yeah. Come on, snake guy. Snake guy. Molly, here's the deal. It's hard to feel too bad for you because you knew that you had snake guy when you started dating snake guy because one thing that doesn't happen is that snake guy is created overnight. Right. All right? So when you first started dating him, you were probably like a lot of ladies. You thought, oh, I'll change him. Yes. Yeah. Once we start dating, he won't carry around that silly snake. He'll have me. He won't have any interest to go out and get a snake. You know? No. He's a bad boy. She probably, you know, he's like, oh, he's a bad boy. He's tatted up and he says he wants a snake. Then he gets one. He calls your bluff and now you got a snake. Or.
He already had the snake. She didn't know it. They dated a little bit. And then, oh, I want you to meet Bruce. My snake. My boa. My boa. Oh, its name is Rocky. You know, like Rocky Balboa. Yep. Oh, Balboa. Balboa. You get it? Rocky Balboa. Take him to Balboa Park. Does your boyfriend have a ponytail? What is that? Supposed to me. I don't know. I just picture him. I picture him in my mind and he has a ponytail. And a mustache? No mustache. A ponytail. How about big gauge earrings? Oh, 100. Does he? He doesn't have earrings. He does have like a ponytail though. I mean, it's little and it doesn't wear it all the time. Old school. I like the little ponytail. Little round glasses? Molly. Molly. I'm telling you now.
that you should get to love Rocky Balboa because he's not getting rid of it and he's snake guy. Or just report him if he doesn't have it properly changed. Or just leave. Yeah, I would have to. You can give me the hottest girl in the world if I wasn't married. And if she had a snake, I would be... Out. And I'm not kidding. Out. Well, I'd sleep with her one time and then I would leave and I'd never talk to her again. Would you be terrified the whole time that the snake was going to suck? Slithering up my leg. I agree with words minus the sleep with her one time. I wouldn't date a girl. I'd sleep with her twice. Three or four times. Can't just do it once. You would not be with a guy, LLB, that had a snake? No. I couldn't. I couldn't. Too weird, right? What are you doing? I'd be terrified. I wouldn't be able to sleep. I'd be terrified. Yeah. Thank you, Molly. Good luck. Thank you. Call the authorities. When I was a kid, I had snakes, but not like that. What kind? Hog nose and... What's that? Hog nose. Like a Harry Potter spell? Hog nose. What kind of snake is a hog nose? They could fold their head open like a cobra. Really? I could just make a sound and my sister would lose her mind because she never knew where the snakes were. Did you feed it like mice? Frogs and gerbils. Wow.
A thousand gerbils. Mikey Show. Mikey Show, hello. What? Hello? You're on the air? CBK. M1 CBK? M1 Captain Buzzkill? I'm not an M1. Aren't you? I'm not. Well, you call in. You get to the point. You don't cuss. I'm not an M1. You listen exclusively to the Mikey Show. Yes, you do. What? I'm talking on the phone. I love Captain Musk. I love you. I missed you. How you been? I've been great, if it's any of your business. What's the matter? I have a snake. Oh, big surprise. It figures. It figures that you guys are talking about something you know absolutely nothing about. That's true, too. Yeah, we do that. We do like to pontificate on stuff. Definitely do. I'm a $4 word.
Well, maybe you guys should meet my snake. Oh, you're going to bring him to MikeyCon? Bring him to the woods. If you bring that near me, I will break your nose with my fist. Oh. I bet you wouldn't have a problem if Michael Vick was snake-fying. That's true. You're probably right, yep. Isn't that cute enough? Right. Well, mine is, and I love him. The day that they start putting snakes on the front line in wars, then I'll be in on snakes. When they have seeing-eye snakes, I'll be in on them. They do that. Do they? You don't know everything. I know a lot about dogs. Do you have a leash for your snake? Maybe I do. No, you don't. I do. That would be ridiculous. I do have a leash for him. I take him to Horton Plaza. To what? I said I take him to Horton Plaza. What are you doing down at Horton Plaza? Watching people, watching people. You're not weird with a snake on a leash. What's his name?
I'm not going to say if you guys are just going to make fun of me. No, no, no. Seriously, because it's a pet, and I know what it's like to have a pet. I love pets. His name is, he's such a pig. He'll just eat and eat and eat, but he's so cute. Much like his owner. Oh, man. Why did you do that? I chased him off. He's not gone. You know that. He might actually be. He was gone for a long time. He's back. He's back. I kind of have a crush on Captain Buzzkill. That's Lauren. He is there. Is that you, Lauren? Yeah, I was just testing to see if you were still there. You ready for all, man? Yes. Would you like to go on a date with me? I... I took a course. Lovemaking? 101? 101? Cookie? 001? Oh, that's what you said. A way to put a real course. Because it was. Was it lovemaking? No. Oh. What was it? Cooking? How to talk to girls? It was Frank T.J. Mackey, and he had a course.
And the course is called How to Slam. How to Slam. I don't think that's what it was called. Yeah, it was. It was called How to Slam. How'd it go? Well, I know how. Have you closed any business yet? No, not yet, but I just got back last night. Oh. You didn't really take a slam class, did you? It wasn't called that. I was making a joke. What kind of class? That you would understand. Yes, it's true. It's on D&D. Oh, boy. Lauren. Yeah. Would you like to go on a date with me? Well, I actually have. Oh, caress your body. Hello. Creepy Captain Buzzkill. Is that what they taught you in the course? Yes, they did. You've got to be more subtle than that. I have confidence now. Do you? Oh, yes. Something you are not used to with CBK. Oh. Wow. I like this new confidence, CBK. Then let's do it. Oh, boy. Why are you still sitting in front of your computer in your sweatpants? First of all, you didn't have a sinus cleaner when I was. You're in sweatpants. Gray. I would guarantee that. Drawstring Costco strip club sweatpants. You're so dumb. They don't have a drawstring. They're elastic. You know, Velcro. Jay's still here. No, you don't. You hate me. I hate him. Who do you hate the most? Out of all of you? Uh-huh. Mikey, but then after Mikey, probably Jay because he used to be the phone screener when I was.
I was still there. Pretty soon I'll hate Chris. I practically already knew. Did he have any trouble getting through today? Well, he told me just hold on, and then the line picked up. I think he had been calling for two days. He's done the same thing, and he hasn't put me on. He's doing his job then. Yeah. Who's your favorite contestant dancing? Was that everyone's favorite hillbilly? Yes, it was everyone's favorite hillbilly. Nothing to be carving. Nothing to be jumping off of and just free falling. Did you see us on Wipeout? I've been at camp. I haven't watched TV. Haven't you? Who was your favorite? Jay was. Yes, clearly. On the show. Yeah, he was the one that broke his ankle, right? I don't know you guys. Yes, you do. You know us. You know it was me. Woods. I finally did it. What?
It. What? Intercourse? I'm not a virgin anymore. Aren't you? Aren't you? All right, I still am, but I went to a course. No, you didn't. You just said you went to camp. I went to a camp, but there was a course involved. At the camp? Yeah. What was the course? How to meet elves. Don't laugh. How to meet elves? Elves. Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. Right? It's so lame, isn't it? Yes, it is. Where are you going to meet an elf? I just met one, baby. You know, North Pole? Would you like to go out with me? Me? I'm married. And I like girls. You're talking to what? Don't I? I don't know. Maybe some baby talk. Hello? Hello? What are you doing? Captain? Oh, boy. What the hell is going on? This is really creepy. What? What are you doing? I was waiting for you guys to grow up. Oh, my.
You're doing something inappropriate. I was not. He was just breathing heavy. I hate you guys so much. I'll see you at Mikey-thon. Oh, really? If you do a Jagger and Christy-thon, you'll see me. We're not Jagger and Christy. If you do a Jeff and Jer-thon. We're not Jeff and Jer. What if we do a Mork and Mindy marathon? Would you come watch that? I don't watch Mork and Mindy. I'm not a dork. What if we LARPed? You don't know the first thing about LARPing. One should not talk about what they not know, lest there be a spell put on the unknown. So then you shouldn't talk about breasts. Yeah, that's true. Don't ever talk about sex. All of the jokes you make to my face, you'll later regret when I find my mate. Wow. Are you putting a spell on me? We're going to have security there. Are you a rapper? Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. Somebody finds out when the clock dropped.
He's throwing spells at us. Wow. Wow. He went to D&D camp. Good for him. You never know. Missed that guy. You can learn the art of the self-slay there. Yes. Yep, D&D camp. Hand-to-hand combat. I don't think that's what he was doing. I don't know. Possibly. I think he was just sitting there. It's just hard for him to breathe. Missed that guy. It's time to play I'm Glad You Ask. Now, under normal circumstances, it would be called... I'm glad you asked. But when Jay says it, it's, oh, I'm glad you asked. Sometimes Jay has a hard time articulating himself. Does he? Through the process of discovering that, we found that she gets put in the general populace, whatever it's called. General populace. There, I got it now. You got it. It's not like it's Taylor Swift.
I guess it's irreverent. Doesn't say that I shall not kill. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it. Context. There is no context. It would never in any context make sense. A flea flicker. All right. So what we're going to do now is I'm going to reach into this little thing here and I'm going to pull out a... Pull out something and Jay's going to have to describe it to us as if we're children that don't know what it is. You are children who don't know what it is. Break it down. Break it down for us. All right, Jay. Yes, sir. Is marijuana bad for you? Well, I'm glad you asked. So when your little brain is developing, you don't want to put any outside chemicals in your body. What's a chemical? What's a chemical? Well, chemicals.
It's a little hard to explain. What's a chemical? It's a drug. You mean like aspirin that mommy gives me? Well, that's why they make children's aspirin. Is a chemical the same as a chemical? Yes, it is. Wait a minute. Dad. Yes, big one. You said... Ouch! Ouch! When you were working with the pond, you said you were putting chemicals in it. It's a different type of chemical. So like drugs, you were putting drugs in the pond? You put drugs in the pond? You do drugs, Dad? Nope. The fish need a certain chemical to help keep them alive. So the fish can have marijuana. If they wanted, they could have marijuana. But you should wait until you're 21, until your little brain's done developing. But isn't it illegal? Not in California. Hey, Dad. That's why Daddy lives in California. Dad, Dad, did you wait until you were 21? Almost. Oh, you were 20 and a half? Yes. Daddy, you told me you would never lie to me. As far as you know, I'm not. So, Dad, can I tell all my friends that our fish have marijuana? Then their parents won't leave our house.
Here's the next one on I'm glad you asked. And we got to take a break. We'll come back. We'll do some more. Jay, what is a dream? A dream. I'm glad you asked. A dream is when your brain turns on its imagination. Like right now. Like if we were to imagine that there was somebody in the room. That's called a daydream. So I'm dreaming? It's kind of a pretend dream. But this is one when you're asleep. So they're real. No, it's still not real. So it can really happen. It really is happening. Nope, it's all make-believe. Like it's a movie. Like playing house. No, movies can be about real stuff. This is a movie in your mind. But last time we went to the movie, you said this is not real. It's not real, but it's not a dream. It's a movie. I am so confused. Me too. At night when your brain goes to sleep, when you go to sleep in your little bed, your brain likes to make things up.
Like lies? No, like stories. Like naked girls? Yes. A lot. My brain tells bedtime stories? Mm-hmm. And sometimes they can be scary, and sometimes they can be fun, and sometimes they can be really, really fun. Oh. Oh, I wish Uncle Woods didn't ask questions anymore. I love that game. I love it so much. Let's play buzzword. 570-1949. You want to play buzzword? Let's do it. You've got to pick me or Woods or L.O.B. The Mikey Show. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text him. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Bex. October 22nd. 30th and University. Featuring Everest.
transfer the soft pack dead feather moon the style tones the creepy creeps low volts and the heavy guilt get tickets at fm949sd.com for 15 bucks lots of german food german beer and other stuff that germans make that would be appropriate for a party rocktoberfest october 22nd at north park for tickets and more info log on to fm949sd.com the honda civic tour 2011 Starring Blink-182. And My Chemical Romance. This Thursday, Cricket Wireless Amphitheater. With special guests Matt and Kim. Tickets are on sale now. Buy tickets at LiveNation.com. Check out HondaCivicTour.com for full details. Presented by Fuse. Don't just aim for the top. Start there.
Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. All hail Hambler, the god of hamburgers. Thank you, it tastes glorious. Thank you, thank you for your greatest creation. The Steakhouse Burger from Cars Jr. That's an old advertising technique. See, I repeat things, they get stuck deep inside your mind. And then later... You find yourself inexplicably drawn to your local Honda dealer where you won't be surprised to learn that Honda is KBB.com's 2011 best value brand. Pretty sweet. Also right now, well-qualified buyers can get 0.9% APR on a Honda Accord. Awesome cars for an awesome deal that you may have completely missed out on had I not planted the seed of Honda great deals deep inside your mind using my sophisticated spokesperson skills.
But in that whole future scenario, you won't remember where the initial thought came from. So you might as well just thank me now. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Kelly Blue Book brand image rewards are based on the brand watch study from Kelly Blue Book Market Intelligence. For more information, visit kbb.com. See dealer for financing details. Surfboards rule at Del Mar on October 8th and 9th during the Sacred Craft Consumer Surfboard Expo. Live shaping and laminating, live art and music, food and beverage, including plenty of primo. Saturday evening is Billabong's Art of Shaping auction. Plus, bring your vintage surfboards and collectibles for roadshow-style appraisals on Saturday by our experts from the Surfing Heritage Foundation. See and ride the latest longboard skateboards in our longboard skate zone and participate in the Lost Skateboards Grom Slalom Challenge.
Great deals on boards, wetsuits, gear, art, and much more. $10 at the door. Grom's 12 and under are free. Everyone gets a free subscription to Surfer Magazine. October 8th and 9th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. October 8th and 9th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. But wait, there's more. Don't miss our Tribute to the Masters Shape-Off competition honoring La Jolla legend Carl Ekstrom, October 8th and 9th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, sacredcraftexpo.com. Heifer International's second annual Golfing for Goats tournament will be Sunday, October 16th at Mission Trails Golf Course. Heifer International is a nonprofit organization that donates livestock and training to those around the world, even here in the United States, helping those who are in dire need of helping themselves out of extreme poverty. Jimmy Johnson's Kearney Mesa Chevrolet is the tournament's hole-in-one sponsor. You could win a brand new black 2011 Chevy Silverado 2500 with four-wheel drive and crew cab. Win awards for the best overall score, even the next top three teams. Closest to the pin, longest drive, and putting contest. Plus prizes through an opportunity drawing. All players receive lunch and goodie bags. So get the office together. Round up some friends. But get on it because deadline to register is Friday, October 7th. The Heifer International's second annual Golfing for Goats tournament at Mission Trails Golf Course Sunday, October 16th.
You'll be helping out those in need, and you could be driving off in a brand-new Jimmy Johnson Kearney Mesa Chevrolet Silverado 2500. For details and to register, go to GolfingForGoats.com. That's GolfingForGoats.com. We're celebrating Jerome's 57th anniversary with an all-new anniversary mattress that's unbeatable with pocketed springs, perimeter foam encasement, and a comfortable European pillow top, all at my Jerry's price of just $5.99. Buy it online right now at Jerome's.com. This report, it's brought to you by Applebee's. Applebee's, two for 20 bucks. It's back fresher than ever. Try new chicken, fettuccine carbonara, new bruschetta chicken, one appetizer, two entrees, all just 20 bucks. Well, it looks like we've got some real backup here this morning on the 52 Westbound Finita Drive. Those left three lanes are closed. It's a sig alert. A four-car crash there. Escondido West Valley Parkway eastbound ramp to the 15, an accident on the right shoulder. And it looks like the 805 northbound Claremont Mesa Boulevard, an earlier accident there. They cleared it. Still a little residual slowing. This report also brought to you by Kohl's Department Store, Kohl's new Encinitas Store at Via Molina, and El Camino Real. It's now open. Don't miss Kohl's grand opening sale. Storewide savings going on now. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. I'm Stacey Cohen.
FM 94.9. Good day for a shrink appointment. I got one, and I always know when it's the right place. It's this roundabout, and I used to miss it for the first two years. I missed it because I couldn't count the roundabout thing right. Roundabouts confuse me. They're petrifying. When I was in Barbados, I was in a roundabout on the other side of the car. Yeah. The wheel is switched, and you're on the other side of the road also, and you're trying to do a roundabout that way. Oh, boy. And you might...
I've had a couple of rum drinks. Yeah. You're in Barbados. That's Barbados. It's like the only way to make left-hand turns in New Jersey. You got to do the jug handle like roundabout. It's petrifying. You guys may or may not know anything about this, but there is what I call the nervous lobby weight. Okay. At the shrink's office. Okay. The nervous lobby weight is sitting on the couch. And how do you sit? You know, do you do this bit? Do you put the leg over the other leg and hold on to the knee, which says, I'm not crazy. Right. I'm just here. I'm confident. I'm confident, you know. Or do you put both legs down and just hands in the lap, which says, I'm pretty crazy. It says, I could be waiting for someone. You don't know that. Maybe I'm waiting for my mom to get out of her shrink appointment. Boy, I'm glad I am normal. Yes. Thank God it's not for me. Yep. Thank God I don't have to deal with what poor mom is in there talking about. And then she opens the door, my shrink. She sees me, notices that I've gained a couple of pounds, and then says, you okay? And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. And she goes, okay. I'm just going to run to the bathroom for a second. I go, okay, okay, okay.
I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm normal. I'm not crazy. Don't go anywhere. Don't start freaking out. You're not even doing anything, are you? No. I've been through a lot. That's all. I just need somebody to talk to you. Jan, can you keep an eye on him? Is this just playing on repeat in her lobby? Can you imagine? Can you imagine? You're sitting there. You're like, this is already. I'm talking about, I call my wife. I'm like, babe, I know you found this person. I'm sitting in the lobby right now and on the speakers above is Patsy Cline. And it just keeps repeating. It's that song crazy. Are you sure you're not just hearing that? I'm not that crazy. Listen, Dave. I'm holding on. You can hear that? It just keeps playing over and over again. The song's not over yet. Did you hear that? It stopped and then it started again.
It stopped and it started. Nothing else? Not even like Crazy For You by Madonna? No, and it doesn't even play the rest of the song. Listen. Just that one? Then it gets to this part where it ends. Listen, listen. Come on, baby, listen. Oh. Did you hear that? It sounds like whoever edited that did a real sharp ending. Anyway. Don't make this about me. You're the crazy one. You're the crazy one. You're the crazy one, crazy. Hey. Back to you in the nut house. Back to you, nut job. Let's see. M1 Steven from Carlsbad. What was the word of the day? Are you there? Whoa, sorry. It's the roundabout. That is correct. All right, rock and roll. That was it, Steven. Just got yourself blink tickets. You're going to go see him at Cricket Wireless on the 6th. All right, rock and roll. Hang on the line, dude. I wonder why he doesn't go by Steve.
I don't know. My wife wanted me to call myself Michael when she first met me. Of course she did. Wow. She changed her name from Becky to Rebecca. Is he still there? Let me talk. Put him on hold. The reason I'm curious, I am Steve Woods. I've always been Steve. Well, you've either been Steve or Woods. I've always been Woods, actually. Or Woods. Yeah. My cousin Steven's always been Steven. Really? Steven, you there? Oh, yeah. How old are you? 29. Were you ever Steve and then changed to Steven? No, I always preferred Steven. Are you a PH or a V? Oh, that's even stranger to me. My brother does it too. V's have always been Steve's to me, but Steven were the PH guys. My brother's a V, and he calls himself Steven. He does? His friends do. Come on. Yeah, every time I'm, easy, Steven. Oh, easy, Mr. President. If you go by Steve and people want to call you Stevie. Yeah, I can see it. With a name like Steve, Steve is very porn star-ish. It makes me feel like I need a mustache and to be an adult film. Yeah. As soon as you're Steve, you...
You kind of get that Magnum P.I. sort of mustache-y feel to it. Yeah. Well, I did. You can have a thick mustache. Yeah. All right. Thank you, Stephen. Hang in the line. Always caressing at that. I heard his sales. His name's Steve. He's like, great. All right. Yeah. I guess I got to go by Stephen. Steve's going on. Rebecca said, why not Michael? She said, what is your given name? I said, Michael. She goes, well, why wouldn't you go by that? I said, because that's a gay hairdresser's name. Also a craft store's name. It's also the name of a craft store. That person takes himself way too serious. Michael takes himself way too serious. It's one thing to switch from Mike to Michael, but if you've always been Michael, that's your name. I'll give her that. Michael dresses for dinner. If you've always been Michael, yes. If you were Mike and you became Michael, guess what?
you discovered Syrah and Pinot. 100%. If you grew up in Maine, you've always been Michael. If you grew up in Yuma, you've been Mike or Mikey. Yeah. And then if you try to go to Michael, easy with the ascot coming to dinner. My friend is Bob or Bobby, and now it's Robert. I'm like, that's not even in the same ballpark. Listen. If you were to go through the L.L. Bean database, Michael is the most popular name in their database. Absolutely. And you know it. Yes. Behind Stephen. Behind Stephen. Ahead of Stephen. All right. Yep. This is Michael at any given party. I like the tannin. Rosewood. What do you smell in there? Did you get strawberries? I didn't. You didn't? Yeah, but I don't want to ruin it. I'm getting the tan in here, and I know if I have the strawberry, I'm going to miss out on the... See, I wouldn't have picked up the rosewood if I had the strawberry. Pick out an oaky one, Michael. Not this one. Not this one. He wins again. The guy is unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, here. Yeah, please. Here we go.
Oh, wow. That's a heavy pour. That's a very heavy pour. Can I get you to re-pour? Yeah, you're also an alcoholic, so that's fine. I'm not, actually. Can you re-pour that, please? Here we go. Oh, is that good? That's perfect. I mean, that's... Just a taste. He just wants a taste. Well, I mean, I just... Well, of course. You're not in the box. Look how he gets in there. What year is it? It's 79. No, no, no, no. 78. 78. Sorry. Give me three more seconds. I could have told you that was a 78. He makes me so dumb. I know. So intimidating. That's nice. That's nice. Not nice enough. I'll not take this bottle. You can bring the first back. That's fine. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what to do with that 78. You know what? You can recork that. My name's Michael. I'm on the, well, the general manager. Steven knows me. So I'll just give it to Luis in the back.
He can drink it. We can probably use it and cook with it or something. It'd be a wonderful cooking wine. Would it? A wonderful cooking wine. Put it in like a $2,000 bottle of wine. I mean, as long as you're making something peasantry, I think it'd be great. If you're making something with potatoes. What about like a marinade, like a steak marinade? Yeah, make good steak marinade. Chili. Really good steak marinade. Chili. Oh, that would be wonderful. A chili. If you were to make a chili, that would make a wonderful base for the chili. But in terms of drinking a bottle of wine, yeah, we won't be drinking that one. Perfect. I'm glad we uncorked it for you. I'll go take care of that. That is why there's a taste before we either approve or disapprove of the... Of the bottle isn't there. That's why you're Michael. That's why I'm Michael. That's why I'm actually Rick with a P, but that's okay. Bring your own glass with you and everything. That's right. It says Michael on it. Look, he has a cheese plate of his own that he brought. $4,000 last month here at this restaurant. And his own spreader. Is Stephen here, actually? Yeah, Stephen's here. Can we talk to him? Yeah, I'd like to. Are we going to talk to him or are you going to talk to him? Well, I was going to talk to him. You're new? Are you new? No, I'm not new. I've been in the business a long time. Where did you come from?
Not in the restaurant. I came from Las Vegas. Oh, I see. So you were working with Cabaret Girls before you started. No, I was working with a guy named Wolfgang Puck. You ever heard of him? Wolfgang Carrot Top. Did you work with Wolfgang Carrot Top? Wolfgang Puck. I did the private catering for Elton John and Billy Joel's tour at Caesars. Okay? What have you done? Well, as long as Elton John and Billy Joel's real names are Siegfried and Roy, then I'm sure you did. If I may interject. Yes, go ahead. We've all had a very stressful day. We have. I've been tasting all day long. I didn't expect that I was going to come. Why do you always push the back? He's been tasting all day long. I have been tasting. Easy sideways. You're fine, okay? Okay, sideways. You're fine. You're good. Every job you're in, you're pushing the back. You know what, man? I'm tired of this. I'm Michael Davis. Don't call me man. I'm Michael Davis from Winemaker Magazine. That's right. There are men out there that exist that are like that. Oh, yeah. Even worse. Worse than that. Oh, yeah. I've never known them. But I've seen them at restaurants. I've seen, like, one table over. Take it from a server. Oh, yeah. They're worse. I have a picture. I went to Grape Fest in Grapevine, Texas. I have a picture of a guy. I took it with my cell phone. A young gentleman that was walking around doing a tasting with a very attractive girl. Carried his own glass. And he had a kit with cheese and grapes and a knife. And he would cut. And he was telling her that which cheese went best with each wine.
Was laughing so freaking hard. She probably thought he was great, right? Oh, I'm sure. Nice beaver. Did he have his, like, collar popped up with his sweater over his shoulders? He had blonde hair, of course, and was just, I mean, walking around. White pants. Walking around. Wicker shoes. He knew you. Wicker shoes. What do you think that guy thinks of UFC? What do you think he thinks of Copenhagen Long Cut? What do you think he thinks of a hamburger? Seriously. He's like, oh, no. Neanderthal. Get some mozzarella sticks while you're having. Oh, can we get another order of potato skins over here? Oh, my gosh. Twice baked. Yeah, that guy doesn't go to Applebee's. I wanted to hit him. Oh, I bet he was damn white pants. I actually, Jamie still has the picture. I'm going to have her post it on my wall later. It's unbelievable. Let's play buzzword. Let's do it. You got to pick us. M1 Gus from San Diego. Who do you want? Definitely be going with Mikey today. All right, hang on the line. Next up is M1 Omar from San Diego. Who do you want? L-O-B. You got it? Yeah. And M1 Riff Raff from Lakeside. You got Woodsy, okay? There you go.
They're going to get a choice of prize. They're going to get a four-pack of tickets to the 2011 Scream Zone at the Delmar Fairgrounds, or they can have the Yo Gabba Gabba Volume 3 with hit songs from the Killers, Devo, Band of Horses, and more. I've heard it multiple times. My kids love it. Don't bite your friends. Don't bite your friends. Words of wisdom. Here we go. The word is watch. Watch. All right, the clue is going to have the word watch in it. W-A-T-C-H. Watch. Here we go. David Hasselhoff. Baywatch! Dang it! Darn it. Timepiece. Watch! Pocket watch! Stop watch! Wrist watch! Stop watch! Pocket watch! Woods. Wrist watch. Wrist watch. Dang it. We were all thinking, he just didn't hear me. Yeah, yeah. I clearly said pocket watch. He just hasn't heard it yet. Here we go. A plaid pattern. Swatch!
Watchworth. It's called Black Watch. I don't know. L-O-B. Here we go. She's always on that. I am the president of Black Watch. Hi, this is Lauren O'Brien for Black Watch. Here we go. A canine bodyguard. Watch out! Lauren? Heads up. Watch out! Lauren? Oh, BS! BS! Wow, geez. God bless. You feel she got that, right Woods? No. Yes. 100%. Even this is right twice a day. A broken watch. A broken watch. Gosh darn it. Woods. Dang it. Darn it. Whoa. On that note. Pastime requiring binoculars in the woods. Bird watching. Bird watching. Bird watching. Darn it. I said the same thing. Watching birds. Dang it. I said watching birds.
Mikey's popping like a crazy person. There we go. I've got my mic messed up. Observe humans for recreation. People watching! That was a tough one. Three-way tie. Three-way tie. I heard myself first. I did too, myself. Chris agrees! Weird. Yeah, weird. You've got a girlfriend, Chris. Relax. Oh. Oh, wow. Wow. Okay. Wow. Poor Chris. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy. Oh, that was just. Oh. Ouch. Yes. Oh. Gosh. Puppy dog, guys. Don't worry, Chris. Necessary. She's got a boyfriend. Police. Fire. Watchdog. Rescue. TV show from the early 2000s. Rescue watch. Watch me. Watch me go. Watch team. Watch team. Watch house. Watch dogs. Watchers. Third watch. Third watch. Can we have a different word? Okay, new word is cool. C-O-O-L. Let's do this. Cool. As calm and reserved. That was Woods. Relax.
Cool down! Cool out! Is that a clue? Cool down! Cool out! Cool off! Cool off! Cool off! L.O.B. What is hopping up and down? He's a madman. All right. Serene, lay back and together. Cool and collected! Calm, cool and collected. Yes. Gosh darn it! What's the score, L.O.B.? Mikey, one. Lauren, five. What's six? All right. These are worth 12. These are worth three points a pop. Oh, gosh. Chill your engines. Cool your jets! You son of a... Lauren has taken the lead. What's a re-lead? The re-lead? It's a relief. She's in the lead. Here we go. Here we go. Last question. Maintain composure. Cool yourself. Keep your cool! Keep your cool! Keep your cool! What about keep your cool? Keep your cool. That's exactly what I just did. Oh, man. Oh, my... I love the irony of it being Keep Your Cool and Woods flipped out. Woods just had sex with a chair. Wow. Did Woods win? Yes. Yeah, yeah, he did. Just barely. I won. M1 Riff Raff, you picked correctly. I always do. You always do. Chose wisely, my friend. Hang on the line. Wow. That was tough. That was funny.
You know what we didn't mention since the beginning of the show was the thing yesterday. If you were wondering why all the roads were tied up, you've probably seen that they're looking for a white 2006 Chevy Malibu with California plates, 5 POM 917. Why? Freeway shooting yesterday. In fact, there were shootings in various places, and they're looking for a suspect. His name is Enrique Ayon. He is 24 years old, and he is, where is the description? He's described as Latino, 5'8", 190 pounds, considered armed and dangerous. Looks tough. Does he? He does, actually. He's scary. Shot an ambulance. Shot all kinds of stuff. Shot all kinds of cars. What kind of a monster shoots an ambulance? Just a nut. Just a nut. And so, anyway, that's why the 805 was all tied up yesterday. If people were wondering what was going on, that was the deal. This is Identical Jay. It's Gordon Lightfoot. You could read my mind, love. What a deal. Jay, have you called it?
I'm on it. Are you? Yes. Color it down. I haven't managed it. Cool. I haven't got any messages. Well, I'm checking my messages right now. Nothing's there. Another nothing. Here's a piece of nothing, and then under that is, well, nothing. Anytime, Gene. Identical, Gene. Identical. Got new releases coming up. Talk about Barbara Walters saying the N-word. Shut up, dude. No way. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, guys. This is L.O.B. We have a lot going on with Mikey-thon. I literally have about a half an hour today to get a workout in. But have no fear because I'm going to choose fitness. And they have a little circuit training center in there that's...
30 minutes is going to give you cardio. It's going to give you all your major muscle groups to lift. And you get in, you get out, and it's a perfect workout. They've got state-of-the-art equipment in there. They've got rules that you can't be grunting. You can't be on your phone. You can't be a big D being in the gym. It's for everybody, young, old, in shape, out of shape. They've got group classes, personal training, tanning, which Woods loves, the hydromassage. And the best part is it starts at $9.99 a month. They've got four locations in San Diego. County, and two more are going to be opening by the end of 2011. So go on and check them out. You can even do pre-opening membership specials at Rancho Bernardo. So get in there or get to one of the locations near you. I go to the Mission Valley one. So choosefitness.com. That's choosefitness.com. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say use some imagination. I mean, roses? Really? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter spa treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Rincon, we get you. After all, life is short, and it should be played or smelled for all it's worth.
There's a coast-to-coast buzz about Ovation Cell Therapy. Friends are telling friends how Ovation has helped their hair grow thicker, stronger, longer, and faster, guaranteed. I've received more compliments on my hair during the past few weeks than I have in my entire life. My hair is softer, smoother, and healthier. I'm so happy with Ovation. I personally recommended it to at least 30 of my friends. Ovation is the best product I've ever used. Stop the breakage caused from harsh chemicals and heat styling. Restore dry, brittle, and damaged hair to a softer, smoother, healthier, more beautiful appearance. Guaranteed. Simply log on to OvationHair.com and click on FM 94.9 at checkout to receive a special introductory discount. And when you log on to OvationHair.com, look for the new paraben, sulfate, and formaldehyde-free advanced. Hey, it's Mikey, and you've heard the good news about AIS. First of all, the government debt, they've been downgraded. The stock market is on a roller coaster. News of the economy is a mixed bag. Everybody's looking for ways to save money because it's uncertain economic times. Here's one piece of good news for you.
AIS customers report an average savings of $500 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. I saved $1,600 a year. Now, how does AIS do it? Well, you don't have to call 10 to 20 insurance companies for quotes. AIS does it for you. They shot dozens of insurance companies and find the best combination of price and coverage for all of your needs. So give them a call today. It's AIS. And look for discounts to qualify you. Some of them up to 20% off. And AIS never charges you broker fees. So your premium is all you pay for. If you haven't called AIS yet, make the call today for a free quote. 1-800-777-4AIS or go to AISinsurance.com. When you compare USAA Bank to other banks, it's easy to see what a difference military values can make. As a matter of integrity, we offer free checking with no monthly service fees and free use of any ATM nationwide. As a matter of principle, we charge one of the lowest rates in the nation on USAA bank credit cards. And because we believe in being able to bank from anywhere, anytime, we offer mobile apps that make it possible to access your accounts and even deposit a check if you qualify. What makes USAA Bank so different can mean better banking for you starting right now. Go to usaa.com slash banking, call 800-531-8722, or visit us at one of two USAA Financial Center locations.
Mission Valley and Oceanside Some restrictions apply. No fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks' ATM fees. Credit cards provided by USAA Savings Bank and other bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank, both member FDIC. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip.
Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults in at Kids Price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. October is here, everyone, so that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. Of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after you run, you want to feast on something. And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays, and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that. That's fearlessraces.com. What is the one healthy thing that you actually enjoy doing? There has to be at least one, right? See them at Kaiser Permanente and they'll help you find it. Visit thrive.kp.org. Oh, I hate to get up in the morning.
Oh, yeah. Mike. Mikey. I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. And Jay. Hey, I like the skateboard. On FM 94.9. It was fun writing that and seeing it all come together. Woods has some new releases. I do. What do you got, Woodsy? This girl's name is Feast. No, I'm sorry. It's Feast. She's the girl that does one, two, three, four. Tell me why you love me more. So this is Feast Medals. I like that. All the way in. I like it because I could put it in a movie. I like it because I could lay in bed on a gray, cold day and listen to it and be all the way in. What day couldn't you lay in a bed all day? That's a good point. You just call that a Wednesday.
Or a Tuesday. If it ends in Y. As long as it ends in Y, you can lay in your bed. Speaking of feast. In about three minutes and she had something to eat. You hungry? Man, your food levels must be low. Freaking out? Getting the shakes? Typical fat guy. Jay's favorite band, the Indigo Girls, is a beauty queen sister. He's wearing an Indigo Girls t-shirt. Never had a problem. Always liked them. Yeah, they sound great. Someone's voice got real deep. Love harmony. Yeah, they're harmonies. Second to none. Sounds like John Elway singing. No, I don't necessarily think it was. Sounds like, I went to the doctor. Yeah. I don't know if I like the new flair.
I'm kind of in on it. Yeah, me too. The new Merle Haggard is out, working in Tennessee. And I work hard every day. Willie. That's Willie. I might get a little high on the weekend. So after I draw my pay, but I go back working. He's a working man. I gotta buy my kids a brand new hat. How come Willie still sounds like Willie? Yeah. He's a working man. Well, I drank a little beer in a tavern, and I sang a little bit of them working man blues. Must be all that weed that Willie smoked. He's keeping his voice intact. The new Mute Math is out, Odd Soul. Adam Levine? They're just trying to do something different. Don't want to do the same thing. That's not my bit. I love what I liked in the first place. You know the rap on Mute Math is the musicianship. The rap on them is that as musicians, they're like gnarly. Yeah. Those guys can play. They're very proficient. The new New Found Glory Radio Surgery is out. Not bad. I like it. Not bad. And then the new, you guys remember Scott McCreary from American Idol? I don't either. He's got a new record out called Clear As Day.
If you like country, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. By the way, Woods, you know all those contemporary country songs. No, I don't. Yeah, we'll play them and you'll go, hello, dude, that's this. And I'm like, I didn't know. What do you want? What's wrong with that? Garbage. It's good for a genre. Yeah. You know what I like about that? You know what I like about that stuff? To me, there's an air of innocence to it. Now, some of it is like, jump on my bull and ride it real hard. Some of it is like that. Very shticky. Yeah, the shticky stuff. I hate the shtick country. But I like when they talk about being from small towns and stuff like that. I like that stuff, too. I like when Waylon and Willie do it. I like it when they do it, too. Sounds a bit simple. Here's the deal, Woodsy. I mean, cars evolve. They don't stay 1957 cars. They should. Some of them. You don't want that. When it comes to country music, I want a 57 Chevy pickup truck. And I love a 57 Chevy, but I also like getting in a brand new car. There's nothing wrong with a brand new car to me. Feast. On DVD today, The Fast and Furious 5. I'd watch it. It's got cars in it. You like cars? Love cars. I'd watch it. Scream 4 is out. Wouldn't watch it.
Excuse me, on Blu-ray, Pulp Fiction, Mike. Really? Yes. Didn't know that it hadn't been out on Blu-ray. That's what it said today. That's cool. Let's see. So I told you about the freeway shooting and how they're still investigating that. That's too weird. They say about Facebook that if you post pictures of yourself drinking or being drunk, they did a study. Something about you. And I'm going to tell you what it is in a minute. You ready me? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm here. Look for me. That's the reason all of my dates been blind. I've got my furrowess girl with me. I'm mashing the gas. She's grabbing the wheel. It's trippy. How hard she ride me. And the most exciting thing to happen. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from the Mikey show coming up. And respectful.
Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Vax. October 22nd. 30th and University. Featuring Everest. Transfer. The Soft Pack. Dead Feather Moon, the style tones, the creepy creeps, low folds, and the heavy guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. October 22nd at North Park. For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com.
Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. I've got to tell you about the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em. It is awesome. We have teamed up with Expressly Gourmet, and you can show off your football smarts and win some really cool stuff. If you pick the most right against Mikey, Hillary, me, and the rest of the FM 94.9 jocks, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. What they'll do, they bring restaurants from all over San Diego right to your door. Check out expresslygourmet.com. for yourself. Think about it. You get to go head-to-head with me, Hanson, Mikey, Hillary, and show us what you've got, okay? And then you can enjoy some of San Diego's best restaurants. You don't even have to leave your doorstep. Sign up now. Join in the fun of the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em today at fm949sd.com. If you pick the most right, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet from Expressly Gourmet and FM 94.9. And this is Ethel Herbert, Your Majesty. Ethel was in charge of catering for today's garden party. We very much enjoyed your cucumber sandwiches. How does one go about making those? Frank's Red Hot Sauce, Your Majesty. I put that **** on everything. I say. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. It's aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, chili, even one's cucumber sandwiches. Frank's Red Hot. I put that **** on everything.
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The more you and your buddy help each other, the more you help yourself. Because at Kaiser Permanente, we think that working together is the best way to thrive. Find your buddy at kp.org slash thrive. I know we haven't been together very long, but things are moving fast with you. Really fast. If you're not in love with your internet provider, it's time to switch to Cox High Speed Internet with Power Boost. I have to ask myself, is it too fast? And the answer is no. With Cox, you can download faster than with AT&T, and plans start at just $14.99 a month for six months when you order online at Cox.com. I've been hoping to find you for such a long time. Cox High Speed Internet was rated fastest cable internet provider in the West by PCMag.com readers. Make the switch to Cox High Speed Internet with Power Boost. Plans start at just $14.99 a month for six months when you order at Cox.com. You save even more when you order online. Visit Cox.com right now and get the Cox Security Suite, powered by McAfee, a $70 value for free. This just feels so right. Cox and San Diego, we just have this amazing connection. Limited time offer excludes required equipment, rental taxes, and other fees. Actual speeds vary. Other restrictions apply. Scream like it's just a bad dream.
But this is real. This is the recurring nightmare you have every Halloween. When the Scream Zone is resurrected at the Del Mar Scare Grounds. Here, hideous creatures hide in dark shadows and run among you. And sorry, they run faster than you do. So scream. It just makes you easier to find. In a demented dimension known as the Scream Zone. Halloween has officially arrived in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scaregrounds. Three killer Halloween events. The House of Horror, the Chamber, and the Haunted Hayride. Get a jump on celebrating Halloween. The Del Mar Scaregrounds has mutated into the Scream Zone. Get tickets and information at thescreamzone.com. Discount coupons available at Domino's Pizza and Ultra Star Theatres. Save time in line. Buy tickets now at thescreamzone.com. And now back to The Mikey Show. With Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best move you ever made. Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. So, if you're in college, and I would have to say high school too, but if you're in college and you post pictures of yourself on Facebook wasted,
basically what they're finding out is that the people that do are the people that are at risk drinking problems. Now they know that because they've talked to them. And what they find is, is that in the case where the students mention alcohol on their Facebook page, or they mention drinking on their Facebook page, that it's completely different in terms of statistical data but when they're when they have a lot of pictures like their profile picture when they have a lot of pictures where they've got drinks in their hand um and they're getting drunk or whatever they are uh usually people that are showing signs of having a drinking problem i can guarantee you that if facebook would have been around when i was in high school and i'm a recovering alcoholic
That's what it would have been. Oh, yeah. Or had I gone to college, which I didn't, but if Facebook would have been around, I know my thinking. I know what I would like. Alcohol was a big player in my life. And I would have posted those pictures. Almost every high school student has a picture of them with a beer in their hand at some point. It's a red cup. It's a red solo cup. Yeah. And they're all playing. But it's all of them. So it isn't all of them. It's a lot of them. It's a lot of them. Well, maybe it is a lot of them. I mean, 99%. It isn't. No, it actually isn't. I'm friends with some high schoolers. So am I. I'm not friends with any high schoolers, for the record. I can think of three of them right now, and they don't have drinks. Well, Chris doesn't count. Chris is not in high school. You don't worry about Chris. He does not have a drinking problem. No. No. It's kind of like a twofold thing. Like, you would either... not see anything wrong with it and be proud of it, or it's hard to snap a picture of you without a drink in your hand. Well, for me, it would have been both. And I eventually, you know, this particular study would have been correct in my case. I cannot imagine you in college. Oh, man. Yeah. Trouble. Dude. Trouble. You had a job you had to get up and go to every day. You had to go.
Class was optional. It was recommended. Well, yeah, but if you didn't go to class, weren't you going to flunk out and then your parents won't pay for it? Not necessarily, pal. You're looking at one. You flunked out? No, I have. I did for a couple semesters. But I also would go to class the first day, the midterm, and the final. That's it sometimes. Some classes. You could skate by. Yeah. Some of them were like attendance they had to take, and some of them were just kind of like, all right, the assignments are posted here. Here's your syllabus, and here's the reading. I have a legitimate question for you, and it's going to be hard for you to fight back saying something witty like, had sex all day. Okay. But what I really want to know is, if you didn't go to class, what were your days filled with? Mine in college was I filled them with golf. And drinking. And so we would not go to class. My girlfriend would. My friend Bobby and I would take her car and we'd go play 18 to 36 holes of golf, betting and drinking all day, every day. That's not typical, though. I don't think a lot of college kids were going golfing. No, I bet they were. It's expensive. No, it's not. And a lot of schools are in the middle of nowhere. Mine was in downtown Chicago, my school, and there was a golf course that was literally like eight bucks around.
And it was a nine hole and we'd go play it four times and bet, you know, bet and drink. Eight bucks. The problem was, at least in my school and a lot of like my friends that I know went to school, like a lot of the most, the biggest party schools are in the middle of nowhere. So you just have the school around you. You'd be out partying the night before and blow off. class the next day because you'd just be hungover and want to sleep. You'd lay on the couch. Yeah, you'd wake up at noon or later and then just stumble to one of the dining halls and be like, I'm not going to 8 o'clock class. Stupid. But if you didn't go to the class, how did you know what to do? Night-night time. You'd either go to the next one and find out or some of them, like there was a syllabus or you knew someone in that class and you'd be like, what'd I miss? Yep. The worst was like, hey, dude, you missed a quiz. You're like, oh, man. You missed a quiz. I had one class I hadn't gone for so long. And I was like, I have no idea what's going on in this class. I went to the professor and I told him, so sorry I missed. It was like over a month of class that I missed.
I said I had mono. And he let me make it up, and I actually got an A in that class. That's shocking. But I got mono that May after the semester was over. Yes. Do you think she talked herself into that mono, knowing our friend L.O.B.? No, I forgot, because I was like, I said it, and I thought I was a genius, and I kept partying, you know? And then, like, May session is the time where you're supposed to, like, party, and you take one class the whole time you're there. And I was like, oh, my gosh, man. Oh, my gosh. It's way too much responsibility and freedom for a 19-year-old Stephen Woods in downtown Chicago. Do all the professors – oh, man, I would not want to be a professor. No. Because all you're dealing with is mostly kids. They don't care. The difference, though, in high school and college is, though, you do – and by your junior and senior year, you do start to care. And you do start to, like, want to learn. And you're like, wow, I'm really interested in women in medieval literature. I think I will go to this class. You pick a major, so it's not just like, okay, you have to do these things. Your freshman year, you're doing general ed, so it's like, okay, I've got to take a math class. I've got to take this class, this class. But then you get more into what you majored in, and you're like, actually, I want to learn about this stuff because it's what I'm going to go do. You still drink and do drugs.
you know, make sex to girls, but you actually care about going to class. And you want to get out of college, which is weird because once you get out, you want right back in. If I ever hit the lottery, I'd go to school. You would love it. I can't go now, but if I ever hit the lottery and I had a lot of time on my hands, I'd go to school. I'd want to learn. I'd want to experience. I'd want to, like, you know. There's a lot to learn. Oh, man, it was fun. Yeah, it would definitely be a theology, you know, it'd be a seminary. Yeah, 100%. I'd learn a bunch of stuff. I think it'd be fun. Yeah, I never went to college. Now you missed out on some stuff for sure. I did. But you advanced to some stuff as well. I just went to college parties. They were the best. Did you go to college? Nope. You did not. You went to the parties. I went to the parties. Started going to them real early. You graduated high school. GED. Same bit as me. Didn't even get that. Same bit as me. I turned all the stuff in. Same as me. Matt wants to go to a UCSD or USD party around here, as us now, and see if people will notice that we're not college kids. I was like...
They're going to notice within the first second. That's petrifying. Yeah. I don't think that they would notice. No, I don't think so either. I think they would. They would notice. Yeah. Why, Woods? Because they're 21 years old. They're 19 years old. Yeah. They're going to notice some 30-year-old broads hanging out at their party. 30-year-old with, like, mom jeans on walking in. Guys? I bet you wouldn't wear mom jeans. Guys, like, room five? You like Maroon 5? Who? Do you really think that she looks like a 30-year-old, like, hey, how are you? I'm the dork. I definitely don't look like a college student. That's it. She doesn't look like a college student anymore. I'm missing the baby fat on my face. Yeah. Like 13 years ago, I worked at a radio station. We would go to the college campuses and go to the fraternities and stuff and party with them. Basically, we'd pull up and bring pizza and stuff. They could not tell the difference. I was 27 when I went to one. Really? Yeah. Maybe I go and I bring a recorder and we'll see what happens. I hated it. Can I go with you a little bit? I'd like to go see a call. Everybody was hammered and falling down drunk. I hated it, too. I liked it when I was there. It'd make me nervous now. Go Aztecs! That's right. By the way, we talked about how B of A is going to raise the... They're going to start charging you for your debit card. Wells Fargo's next. Calm down. California can relax just for the moment.
Right now, they're going to start with Oregon, New Mexico, Nevada, Georgia, and Washington. Three bucks a month to have the debit card. So free money for them. Yeah, happy birthday. Yeah, they get it for doing nothing. It'll only be a matter of time before three becomes five, five becomes ten. Yeah, because if they all do it, what are we going to do about it? Keep it in a box under our mattress? Not use a debit card? Come on. They just don't use it. I have to use it. Yeah, most people use a debit card. They need it. I don't like the cash back. Don't you have one, Jay? I have it. I never use it. You don't go to an ATM? Nope. Never go to an ATM. How do you have cash money? He doesn't pay for anything. Huh? Go to the bank. Or if I do pay, if I pay with a credit card. I know, but don't you ever need cash? No. I don't buy breakfast in the morning like you guys do every morning. Oh, wow. Gotta dig. But then when you pay your bills. Yeah. Do you have any money in your wallet right now? I have $5 in the wallet. How'd you get that? Went to the bank. You went to the bank. Went to the bank. Went in.
I need a five, please. Hi, may I withdraw a five? No. Kim got, you know, money for groceries, all that kind of stuff as well. But my thing is, like, okay. I still need to know. Well, that's what I want to ask you. I still need to know. How do you pay your credit card bill, then? No, I want to know about the cash. I pay online. I get that. How do you have... This guy's such a BS-er. You walk into the bank and you ask him. I don't go to an ATM. I don't. I need a dollar, please. I need a Coke. Yes. Hello, it's nice to be here at the bank. I need to withdraw $1. I don't. I get $100 and it lasts me forever. It lasts me six years. How long does it last? Forever. I bet it lasts a long time. A year and a half. A long time. A year and a half. Because you can buy most things on a credit card. I bet he's got a $5 bill that's one of those 1952 $5 bills. He's got $2 bills in his wallet. Crisp. Crisp. He's brand fresh off the press. Yeah. Why would you want to get charged any amount of money to get to your own money? Give me a break. Good point. Convenience. I don't even want that car. Convenience fee. I never, ever go up to that machine and do-do-do-do-do. No. I got a Kim for that. Yeah. Kim, go buy the bank. Give me $7. In 18 months and ate a hundred. The last time I used it was at an a.m. p.m. to get gas because they only take debit cards. Yes, that is true. And it was 4 a.m. in the morning and I discovered late that I was out of gas because I tried to get gas on the way home because I hate getting gas in the morning. Wait, wait, wait.
When you normally get gas, you pay with cash? No, I'll use my credit card. You can use your credit card at a pump. What if you can't qualify for a credit card? Not me. I'm just saying other people. Other people. The lovely and talented Hillary is not in today. No, she's not. Yeah. Thank you. It's okay. It's all right. Do we know who he is? The not as lovely and not as talented Hanson. Oh, wow. That's what he said. Hanson's very talented and very lovely. He's the lovely and handsome. The handsome and talented Hanson. And he's coming up next for your listening enjoyment. So we'll come back here tomorrow morning at 6 and do this over again. The Mikey Show's out.