The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/10/11

1:30living after a very successful Mikey-thon, which, by the way, we will update you on momentarily. Good news. Obviously good news for the Chargers because we'll only play the POD San Diego Chargers anthem after a victory. We had a, during Mikey-thon, we had a couple of ladies that came by that do massage, mobile massage. And they came to the house yesterday and gave a massage to Rebecca and I. I was getting a massage while the San Diego Chargers were trying to give away the game, which I didn't even know. Woodsy had to tell me about it. But what happened, Woodsy? I mean, what was the deal? You know, I read a lot of stuff. I like to visit with people during the games on Facebook.

2:39Somebody even made a really good point, and they said, hey, listen, we always go into the prevent offense when we have a big lead. And instead of putting the foot on the throat and just jumping up and down on the Broncos and knocking them out, they started being real conservative or started throwing the ball. Incomplete, one second off the clock. Incomplete, three seconds off the clock. And it's like, all right, guys, we got a lead. Maybe we run some screens. Maybe we hit the tight end. Maybe we run the ball up the middle. Man, it was one of those ones you shouldn't be on the edge of the bed watching, and I'm on the edge of the bed going, oh, God. Are they going to lose this? Freaking Tebow, man. Tebow. That has been a complaint about the Chargers for a long time, about not sticking their foot on the throat, putting the pedal to the metal. And playing the conservative stuff. They should have blown the Broncos out. I mean, blown them out. It was, you know, there was a pick six early in the game that was not really Phillips' fault. Guy snatched it out of the receiver's hands, ran it back. And, you know, after that, man, the Chargers started dominating. And then, you know, you get to the fourth quarter and, well, actually.

3:52Kyle Orton, who's identical Dave Grohl, they benched him. The Broncos benched him, and they put in Tebow. And you're watching Tebow drop back, and he's just throwing balls in the dirt. I mean, he could not hit an open receiver. Well, then the guy starts juking around and moving, and he starts running, dude. He starts running, making plays. And next thing you know, they're throwing into the end zone for the game winner. The game winner. He throws it in the end zone, knocked down. I mean, it was like, come on, dude. I have a conspiracy theory. I believe that... Oh, it's going to sound so crazy. It's going to sound insane. I believe that the Broncos head coach, John Fox, doesn't want Tim Tebow to succeed. Why? I know. Why? You might be crazy, Mike. That doesn't make any sense to me. He has to win to keep his job. They're one and four. I think he would let Eileen Wuornos play quarterback if she could win a game for the Broncos. I don't think he'd care. Okay. Hear me out. Hear my craziness. Okay. My craziness is that the fans have been booing and asking for Tim Tebow. Yep. And he hasn't done it. And he's probably really irritated. And he's been on the radio saying things like, listen, this is not a vote. Right.

5:22You know, we have the best player in there to win. Well, the truth of the matter is that when they put Kyle Orton, when they very first brought Kyle Orton in, he was 6-0 as a starter. Since then, he's been something like 2-23. Terrible. Awful. Terrible. And so he's stinking the place up the first half. And at halftime, John Fox is like, I'm putting Tim Tebow in. Yep. And I think he was irritated that he had to because he probably thought, yeah, they probably think it's because I'm bowing to their wants and desires. And I'm not. And so the first few plays, or the first, forget the first few plays, like one, two, three, it's running plays when he puts Tim Tebow in. And I'm like, he freaking doesn't want Tim Tebow. Why is he not letting him beat Tim Tebow? Why is he doing that? And I realize this is a division opponent, so I want the Chargers to win. I would love to see Tim Tebow succeed because I like him, but I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. Listen, it's like anytime somebody tells you, hey, I really think this is what you need to do to be successful, and you're like,

6:46but I know what I'm doing. Like, I know what I'm doing. You don't want to listen to them, especially when it's a bunch of, to be honest, most fans are pretty dumb. You know, the big Monday morning quarterbacks, armchair quarterbacks, they think they know what they're talking about. I grew up in Dallas, and I've seen it in Dallas with Tony Romo for the last five years. I mean, every time that guy throws a pick, it's like, get him out of here, put Stephen McGee in, and it's like, Stephen McGee? You know what I mean? He doesn't want to kowtow to the fans, but the guy needs to win some football games. And Tebow comes in and helps him score 14 points in the fourth quarter. That's pretty solid. He made me so freaking nervous, man. You don't know what that guy's going to do. He's a wild card. Yep. But they got the win, man. They're 4-1. They're 2-0 in the division. Chargers are 4-1. Yeah. 4-1. Hell yeah. Chargers. You know, and everybody, again, it shouldn't have been that close, and I agree with you on that. It should not have been that close, but I'll tell you what, man. 4-1 is a really good start, and we got a bye coming up. Try to get healthy. Ryan Matthews got hurt again. Yeah. Left on crutches with a boot. God darn, dude. And he just gets banged up, dude. He plays with reckless abandon. Reckless abandon.

8:01He's getting banged up. We've got to have that guy. So is he anything on him? Protective. It was a protective measure, and he left on crutches. But like I said, we've got the bye week, so that's good. We'll be back in action in a couple weeks. So this next Sunday they're not playing? They're not playing next Sunday. So he's got a couple weeks. He's got to rest. I wonder if he will be all right and ready to come back. I hope so, man. I hope so. But you lose Matthews, you lose Gates. And a lot of other guys are banged up pretty good, too. I mean, he went in the locker room hurt, came back out, played. And killed it, by the way. They said that when he went to the locker room, they're like, yeah, he's very questionable to return. And then 10 minutes later, it's Matthews is back. I mean, he's getting tougher. And you just hope he's okay. Because I'll tell you what, watching that guy hit the hole, forget it. He's one of the be different guys. And when I met him, he looked like solid rock. He looked like solid. Rock. One of the fastest running backs in the NFL. And he touches the ball. He is explosive. Juki. Juki. Explosive. Watching him make guys miss. Yep. Well, they're finding ways to win. Whereas last year they found some, you know, it goes back to what we talked about. Would you rather be the No. 1 offense and be 2-3? Or would you rather be, eh, you know, still trying to find your way but be 4-1? I'll take 4-1. Sure. You know.

9:25Win them now. Welcome to the Mikey Show. We did our Marathon Mikey-thon broadcast, 28 hours of broadcasting, Thursday into Friday. And we wanted to raise $25,000. That was our goal. And through the grace of God, raised $55,000 when all was said and done. Isn't that great? $55,000. I've been bragging all weekend. Me too. Yep. Very proud. So cool. And I'll be genuine with you. I think it was really cool that Woods said that he would shave the fryer cut. Over the weekend, I was like, I wish there was a way out of this. Because now that it's come down to it, I feel like it was enough that you said it. Right. I really do. Promise is a promise. Oh, my gosh. He's going to do a freaking fryer's cut at 730. Yeah. You know, I wanted to beat the 25 grand. We didn't beat the $25,000. We kicked the crap out of $25,000. It was awesome. You can take it off tomorrow. How about that? Yeah, I'll shave it tomorrow. Shave it tomorrow. Yeah, that's fine. The fact that you're doing it today to me is very cool. Yeah, and you know what's interesting is Jay sent out the schedule of what we're doing today, and he didn't put it on there, and I wrote Friar Cut. Woods did. And Jay goes, yeah! I forgot about it. I forgot about it. M1s didn't forget. They sure did not. A couple of them showed up at my appearance yesterday. They're like, oh, you don't have it. I said, I'm getting it tomorrow.

10:54He's getting it on the air today. We'll film it, put it on the internet, the whole bit. Yep. Word of the day, democracy. When you hear me say that between now and 10, caller numero nine. You'll get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. That'd say 25 or 26. 26. Cool. Yeah, you get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld, and you'll get to check out Halloween Spooktacular. You get it? Spook. Spectacular. I get it. It was spectacular. They put spook because it's scaring you. Speaking of, you know, making, I don't know what you call those, if it even has a name. When people do that, spooktacular, if that has a name when you take something normal. I'm sure it does. I'm sure it does. I don't know what. But anyway, maybe the worst one I've ever heard. And maybe, you know. Probably just one of the worst ideas, in my opinion. It's just one guy's opinion. But there is some Christian group doing something called Jesus Ween instead of Halloween. How creative. Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Jesus Ween. It definitely doesn't need any explaining. No. Jesus Ween.

12:20That sounds perverted, actually. It's the worst. Jesus' weenie is kind of the next step. Seriously, that sounds perverted. And it's what I consider to be one of the worst ideas. That's terrible. We'll tell you about it in a little bit. So if you have been sleeping under a rock and you just woke up, or if you, whatever, and you don't know already. Over the weekend, we lost a legend, Al Davis. Al, let me ask you something. With all the distractions that you have off the field, how are you able to keep focused on winning football games as you do and do throughout the year? When you have great coaches, then after you have great coaches, you get great players, you have a great organization, and you tell them one thing. Just win, baby. There you go. It's quite possible. I was telling Jamie yesterday. Quite possibly the greatest quote of all time. Just win, baby. I mean, you can't sum it up better than that. You just can't. There is just win, baby, all over Oakland Coliseum. And that and commitment to excellence. As they leave the tunnel, it says commitment to excellence. And they are a fierce, fierce rival of the Chargers. Got to tip your hat.

13:48You know, Al Davis is one of the, you know, he's one of the innovators and one of the early guys in the NFL. And even though he had his issues and even though he was a rival of ours. Hey, listen, the Chargers released a statement from Dean Spanos. And he says, hey, look, he was instrumental in getting the Chargers going. And we wouldn't be here without him, he said. You know, he said there's no way we'd be here without him. He talked to Dean's dad, Alex. Taught him how to get the Chargers. And he did that with a lot of guys, actually. The guy was, you know, watching. I mean, you couldn't turn on television this weekend and watch sports without hearing about Al Davis. Hired the first African-American coach. Drafted the first African-American player. I mean, the guy was. First Mexican coach. First Mexican coach. Tom Flores. Yeah. Identical Mikey's dad. That's right. And was an absolute legend in NFL football. He had some really lean years the last few years and made some really poor personnel decisions. But remember those Raider teams of the 70s and 80s? You don't get nastier than those guys, period. He liked to go vertical. He loved to throw the ball. Absolutely. That was his bit. Loved it. I mean, it didn't matter when the league completely changed. I mean, the league completely changed. And the league...

15:10Was clearly defending against the pass. Yeah. He didn't care. He still just wanted to throw the ball long. Yep. And refused to ever let that go. I heard an absolutely amazing story this morning driving in. Tom Jackson, who does ESPN commentary with Chris Berman, was a longtime Denver Bronco. 14 years in the Bronco organization. Quits football. And retires and gets a job at ESPN. His first assignment, go out and cover the Raiders training camp. The night before, he gets a phone call in his hotel. They said, yeah, Al Davis does not want you at Raider practice tomorrow. Oh, wow. And he goes, why? This is my first assignment. Takes a crew out there anyway. And they're sitting on the curb, literally on the curb outside of Raiders camp. Al Davis pulls up, puts his arm around him. He goes, listen, you're a Denver Bronco. 14 years. I can't have a Denver Bronco. watching my practices. And he goes, but it would ruin my career if I went and ratted, you know, said anything. And he goes, I'll tell you what, if you were a Raider and you were at a Bronco practice, I'd expect you to be coming back and telling me what they're doing. Oh. Isn't that freaking phenomenal? Oh my gosh. He wouldn't let him in. That's crazy. Didn't let him in. You know, that really, that personifies Al Davis. That's it. I heard a couple of stories yesterday too. Rich Eisen from NFL Network was telling a story.

16:36He says, I'm out at this big, giant event. And he said, there was something that went down at the NFL Network that really upset Al Davis. He said, and I work for the NFL Network. He says, so I see Al Davis walking towards me, and he's walking towards me with purpose. Oh, boy. I mean, like walking towards me. Like I'm coming for you. And he says, you know, and I'm a little nervous, but I. I don't know. I don't know him. First time I meet him. And he says, I shake his hand, and he starts to complain to me about whatever this issue is. And he tells him, with respect, Mr. Davis, I work for the network, but I don't know anything about this. I don't have anything to do with it. And he goes, fine. Where's Sable? He's talking about Steve Sable. And he just wants to go find Steve Sable and chew him out, thinking he had something. And they were all laughing on the panel of people that were sitting there because that's the deal. Michael Irvin says, here's my Al Davis story, man. He said, I will never forget the early days of when I was a Dallas Cowboy and we used to do our training camps together with the Oakland Raiders. He says, and Al Davis used to walk up to me and say, you know, Michael, you're the only reason.

18:05I'm the only reason that you're still playing this game. And I said, well, how is that, Mr. Davis? And he said, you know, Jerry Jones wanted to trade you. And I told him, he's too good. You can't trade him. And I said, well, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Davis. That's very nice of you. And he told me, hey, Michael, when they let you go here, I'll take you in Oakland. Wow. And I thought. It's kind of a backhanded compliment because I didn't know they wanted to trade me until this second right now. That was pretty good. I thought I was kind of a cornerstone of the team. I was one of the big three. Thanks. Appreciate it, Al. Anyway, Al Davis. Gone at 82. Gone at 82. My big question, and we've got to do some research to find out. Now what? So who's in charge now? I heard yesterday there's a – I cannot remember her name. There's a female CEO, and then he's got a son. And so some wheels were set in motion, and Hugh Jackson, who's their head coach, is going to take on a lot more responsibility. Who was an X-Men. He was a Wolverine in X-Men, right? That's Hugh Jackman. And he also was – we'll see from Dan Enda. Yeah. And he sang and danced on Broadway, and he shows his nithers. Which is amazing that he understands all the –

19:26The rules of the NFL. Yeah. American football. Yeah. American football. It's Hugh Jackman. This is Hugh Jackson. Okay. Yeah. That's a different person. Yeah. Different. Different color. Gosh darn it. Different race. Different nationality. Different nationality. He will make a lot more of the personnel decisions going forward. Yeah. But it will be, I believe, Al Davis' son and this young lady who is the CEO of the Raiders. I know that teams had CEOs. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yep. Forbidness. So. Mikey-thon, we raised $55,000 when all was said and done. And it may even be more because there's money that's still coming in. But very emotional hearing that number. Last year, just almost reaching $25,000. It was 24 and change, but very close to $25,000. And then this year, close to $55,000.

20:25Just unbelievable. You're raising the bar, man. Oh, my goodness. I can't even wrap my head around it. It's so hard to figure out. But I'm so happy for the Autism Discovery Institute over at Rady. And, hey, that dinner at my house with all of us here on the Mikey Show, that ended up going into a bidding war, and I was wrong. What I read at the end of the show. I thought it went for $2,500. It didn't. It went for $3,500. They got into a bidding war for it. And the guy that won last year ended up winning again. He would not be outbid. And I thought that was great, man. It was a good time, I guess. Just stoked. Just stoked. So really awesome. Really awesome time. So many generous M1s. People bent over backwards. They did. They bent over backwards. Just hilarious. I was thinking back on it, just the funny memories that I have from it. Oh, my gosh. When you guys were doing this, we did the shock trivia. Shock trivia, they said, was the greatest. I have never laughed so hard at the both of you clowns. Oh, my gosh. That did not feel good. No. I never want to do it again. Lauren dressed as a Grim Reaper. Yes. And then you two. We're going to do it every year. No way. Yes, we are. We have to. We have to. I hated it. I freaking hated it. I hated it. Did you like it?

21:52Jay took office chairs. Just, I mean, whatever chairs he found laying around. From the 70s. Yes. And he wrapped wire that's used for electrical fencing. Yes. Around the arms. Aluminum. Insane. And then we put our arms on it, and Adam touched it to a power source, and it... freaking... Woods was so upset. He was so upset. He jumped out of his chair and then with his right foot donkey kicked the chair backwards. Don't like shocks. Danny's pictures of that were fantastic. Oh my gosh. It was so terrible that thing. The other deal that just made me laugh so hard was Woods in that Darth Vader costume that Jay purposefully got in a small size tiny and it was extra large and poor woods puts on that costume and it left nothing to the imagination yeah it left nothing i was saying on the air don't look directly at it oh my gosh it was hysterical

23:12That's what got my head hurting because I laughed so violently and hard. That's what got my head hurting. By the way, there is new laws that were signed in in California that have to do with weed, tanning beds, stuff that's going to irritate you, stuff with cell phones. I mean, and we got a rundown. We're going to tell you what it's all about. So please don't go away. We're going to play Name That Tune. So if you want to play Name That Tune. Call us right now at 570-1949 and let's play Name That Tune. On FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest, supported by Bex. October 22nd, 30th and University, featuring Everest, the softback. Dead feather moon, the style tones, the creepy creeps, low volts, and the heavy guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. October 22nd in North Park. For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com.

24:33Ever dreamed about driving a Mercedes-Benz but thought it was out of reach? The president and founder of Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Angelo DeMonte. We have a tremendous selection of pre-owned Mercedes-Benz. I mean, they're as good, if not better, than some new cars on the market. And I would suggest anyone in San Diego County, before you do anything anyplace else, to check out the selection of pre-owned Mercedes-Benz at Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. Also along those lines, the Mercedes-Benz new car lineup has got something for everyone. We've got a tremendous restyled C-Class car that can fit into any budget. It leases less than so many other makes and models. It's worth somebody's time to say, why can I not drive the best for less? And that's what you can do at Mercedes-Benz of Escondido with our C-Class car. So I want to let you know that AIS is doing it up for you. They know that we have a bad economy and they realize there's more drivers on the road. And bottom line. You save money. If you would like to save a lot of money, and let's say, for instance, you're a good driver, let's say, for instance, that you get a multiple policy with AIS, you will save. If you're a good student, you'll save. 20% off, good student. So there's lots of reasons to call. But even, okay, also, you're just the average Joe. Let's say that I mention things there, and you go, well, that doesn't apply to me. Don't worry. Call AIS.

26:09Some of those things didn't apply to me. I called them and saved $1,600 a year. That's my personal story about AIS. I saved $1,600 a year. And I got lots of people that have called us and told us all about the same thing. There's a lot of money to be saved. So call them, 1-800-777-4-AIS, or check them out online, aisinsurance.com. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Air Force, 6 p.m. Thursday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Hey, everyone. This is LOB, and I want to tell you why right now is the best time for you to try ovation cell therapy. You've heard me talk about the new advanced formula, which is sulfate and paraben-free.

27:14leaving your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and softer than ever before. Well, let me give you another reason why you should try Ovation. They are participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October by featuring a special edition pink bottle of their Advanced Formula Cell Therapy with a portion of each purchase going back to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. In addition to these funds raised, the Ovation Nation team is going to be out at the Susan G. Komen San Diego's Race for the Cure on November 6th, held in Balboa Park. Park. Join them by signing up today at comansandiego.org. Log on to OvationHair.com now and get your special edition pink bottle of the Advanced Formula Cell Therapy and don't forget to select FM949 at checkout and you'll get a special introductory rate. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget FM949 for your special rate. All hail Hamblo, the god of hamburgers. Thank you, it tastes glorious. Thank you, thank you for your greatest creation, the Steakhouse Burger from Carl's Jr. The new Steakhouse $6 burger from Carl's Jr. 100% black Angus beef, crumbled blue cheese, crispy onion strings, and A1 steak sauce. Tastes like it's made by the god of hamburgers, and that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, A1 is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods. With $100,000, you don't just make it rain. You cause a Category 5 cash storm.

28:36On October 30th, Harris RingCon is giving away up to $10,000 every half hour from 11 a.m. to 3.30 p.m. And at 5 p.m., $50,000 for a total of $100,000 cash. Just swipe your total rewards card and play. Harris, come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Luis Samuel Indians. Managed by H-Cal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars Lessons Company, LLC. Hey, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy. I got to tell you about the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em. It is awesome. We have teamed up with Expressly Gourmet, and you can show off your football smarts and win some really cool stuff. If you pick the most right against Mikey, Hillary, me, and the rest of the FM 94.9 jocks, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. What they'll do, they bring restaurants from all over San Diego right to your door. Check out expresslygourmet.com for yourself. Think about it. You get to go head-to-head with me, Hanson, Mikey, Hillary, and show us what you've got, okay? And then you can enjoy some of San Diego's best restaurants. You don't even have to leave your doorstep. Sign up now.

29:44Join in the fun of the FM 94.9 pigskin pick'em today at fm949sd.com. If you pick the most right, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. From Expressly Gourmet and FM 94.9. This report is brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. You'll get a lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance absolutely free. Shop less, get more, make one call. Well, we've got a little slowing this morning. A lot, actually, in different spots. A 15 northbound from Adams Avenue to El Cajon Boulevard. That's off and on in the teens. Really slow here on the 15 northbound from Market Street to Ocean View Boulevard, 11 miles an hour. And looks like the 94 eastbound from Home Avenue to Euclid Avenue, 17 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer, has a $25 mail-in rebate for any true start. or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts. See your Toyota dealer for details. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9.

31:15Special thanks to Jared at createyourdesignonline.com who kept our website updated the entire time that we were on the air for Mikey-thon, which, by the way, he does that each year, and he doesn't work for us, for the radio station. He does it out of the kindness of his heart. He does it because he cares about the cause, he loves us, and he wants to do it. It's so nice. It is so nice of him to do. He was a beast. He was, man. I could not believe that, dude. He just, he stayed at it. And visit his website, createyourdesignonline.com. Word of the day is democracy. And so I'll say, I'll work that into a sentence between now and 10. And when I do, Caller 9, I'm going to give you SeaWorld San Diego tickets and tickets to check out the Halloween Spooktacular, which is going on weekends this month. And the weather is changing. Did you notice that? That the weather started to really... I think that the weather got... At night, at least. At night, it was cold. At night, the temp drops. In the daytime, it was nice and warm over the weekend. But 5, 6 o'clock, boom. Been waking up like... Love it. Both days. For sure. Woods is getting a fryer's cut at 7.30 this morning. This report gets brought to you by Allstate. Thank you, Stacey. Stacey is crazy.

32:4155 minutes from now, Woods will get a circle shaved into the top of his dome. Oh, my gosh. It's gnarly. All right. We're going to play Name That Tune in just a second. We got people hanging on the line to play Name That Tune. And so we'll do it. Check this out, though. The governor of our state is Jerry Brown. He signed a bunch of stuff into law. Yep. And here's one of them. You can't tan if you're 18 and under. You cannot tan if you're under 18. You can tan if you're 18. You cannot tan in a tanning bed in California if you're under 18. It'll start in January. Now, check this out. Apparently, right now in California, if you're under 14, you cannot. But if you're between 15 and 17, you can with your parents' permission.

33:41But you can't anymore. Now, if you're under 18, cannot get in a tanning bag. Thank God. Man, that was close. I was worried about it. Yeah. Well, okay. Let's say you're like us and you go, what do I give a whoop? I don't care. Who cares? You know? Here's the question, though. Does it bother you that the state now says, hey, listen, whether you give permission or not. We don't care. You're not allowed. Yeah, that bothers me. Of course, yeah, it bothers me too. It doesn't bother me. Doesn't bother you, L.O.B.? No. No? A lot of the cases of deadly melanoma, people actually develop them in their adolescent years. But, and that may be a fact, but my question to you, L.O.B.

34:27As a parent, aren't you allowed to do what, you know? You could take your kid to an R-rated movie. Yeah, but what about cigarettes? It can be just as deadly as cigarettes. There's something to be said. You know what I mean? You can't just be like, well, I say she can smoke cigarettes. Well, you know, we've determined that it's really bad for their health. I agree with you, by the way. I agree with L.O.B. It is bad for their health. They can prove it's bad for your health. It's proven, yeah. It's proven fact. Well, let's just keep them out of the sun entirely then. Let's make them wear burqas. Okay, L.O.B., what about this? Would you be okay with a law that said it is now a law and a requirement that you must, if your child is under 18, your kid has to have... Proof of having sunscreen on or you get fined. The sun is natural. That's like saying they can't be outside too long because there's too many carcinogens or there's too many carbons in people's exhaust. There's so much more concentration of the bad stuff in those tanning bed bulbs. Now, I know what's going to happen, LLB. I guarantee you, because you said that, I guarantee you we're going to get calls from the tanning people that go, wait.

35:39The lights now, this, that, da-da-da-da-da. Possibly. You know, and by the way, if that's the, because I don't know, but let's say that's the case. Let's say that now they got bulbs that are safe or whatever. If that's the case, should they be allowed to do this? Why not just say, hey, if you're under 18, it's a law, you must wear sunscreen and those things, because you do, they sell sunscreen for those. tanning beds. Yeah, it's not really sunscreen. It's more of, it's more enhancer. Yeah. No, they do have, both of us worked at a tanning salon. Well, that's true. That's true. I remember. But it was like five. It was an enhancer. I remember a 15. Oh, do you? I remember a 15. I mean, I'm taking a bronze voyage this afternoon. I'm telling you that right now. A bronze? There's no question. Yeah, he's going to choose fitness and they have spray called bronze voyage. Yeah, I own it. Go out in the sun. Does it smell pretty? But that's, Those are for adults. Might have it right here. Let me see it. Bronze Voyage. Might have it right there. And by the way, just so you know, Woods' Bronze Voyage is so used and tattered. Smell it. This is not... No. That's not a new bottle. It's not a new bottle, and it's not the bottle of a novice tanner. No. No amateur uses this bottle of Bronze Voyage. Right. It smells amazing. L-O-B.

37:09Doesn't have Bronze Voyage this well used. Oh, that's delicious. It smells so great. Oh, that smells so good. I know. Oh, wow. Just get in and slather that all over myself later. Make it right. 5701949. Do you know anything about it? But let's play a little Name That Tune. We got M1, Veronica from Escondido. Hi, V. Hi, guys. Thank you. Hey. Thank you for everything you did at Mikey-thon. You are incredible. You are. Best freaking Rice Krispie Treat. I ate a log of Rice Krispie Treats. That was the best Mikey-thon ever. They're the best. And the shocking, it totally hooked my boyfriend. Yeah. So, good job. It was great. There you go. All right, Veronica, hang on the line. Who do you want? I want Lauren. You got it. Hang on the line. Let's see. Next up, M1, Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? I'll take Woodsy, please. You got it. Hang on. And M1 Oside from Oside, you've got me. I'm sorry. Hang on. Okay, do our buzzers. We need our buzzers. Oops, I got somebody's in here. We need our buzzers. We turn our buzzers on, and here's the way it works. If we know what the song is, it's just a typical name, that tune. We buzz in. We have buzzers, and they will light up green, which you can't see, but don't worry. Jay does, and he'll say our name.

38:33And we take a guess. What's the theme today? Today's theme is, well, Chris was in charge of loading in the Name That Tune. So it is going to be... Hang on. Hang on. Let's just stop for a moment. Pull the curtain. We can. Because Jay is letting you know that on the air right now. And he was sure to let us know it off the air, too. Now, my guess is that he's saying, hey, listen, anything's wrong here? Nope. Ain't my fault. Ain't my fault. It is a younger, hipper version of Name That Tune. Got it. So title or artist. Yes. Good luck with both of those. They are very hip songs, and not only are they hipper songs, they've been remixed. That should be fun. We are playing for a $20 power card to Dave & Busters. Join Woods at Dave & Busters for football. More info on FM949SD.com. Question, Jay. Yes, sir. That's a grand idea. No doubt. Truly.

39:35groundbreaking in its thought process. But, question, what if we don't know them? That's a good point. That's a good one. Good one, Mike. Good point. Let's give it a shot. I'm hoping that Lauren will be... Oh, boy. All right, let's do this. Here we go. Say it. Lauren? Pumped up kicks. All right, I do recognize that. Couldn't have told you who it was, but I recognize... I know that song. Just couldn't tell you who it was. Okay, here we go. All right. Woods. You too. Magnificent. Good job, Woodsy. Thank you. That's a jam. Here we go. Oh. Can't see. Lauren. Three, two, one. Oh, my God. Reset and give us a taste. Woods. Britney Spears?

40:53Why couldn't I spit it out? You didn't. You just had this lost look in your eyes. Oh my gosh. I just lost my mind. Gosh darn it. Maybe I had like a seizure. And a stroke. Here we go. That's some bravery. Good job, Woodsy. Gosh darn it. Look at these remixes. I like these. Come on. Here we go. Woods. Oh no, Lord. Black Eyed Peas. Damn it. These aren't that bad. These are good. No, I get them. Oh, good luck here. I don't know. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Phoenix. Damn it. Wow. Damn it. Oh, my gosh. Lauren looks so lost today. I know. My head is still at MikeyCon. We all had that one. Excellent. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Lauren. Lauren. Lady Gaga. Oh, yeah. Gosh. Oh, my gosh. Score. It's three to three. Woods elevate. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Sorry, Mike. I feel so bad for people that have to get me.

42:10Do I like that? I don't know who that is. Three, two, one. What is it? What is it? Cruise. Tao Cruise. Great. Tao Feast. All right. Here we go. You secretly like it. I believe. I do not. It's actually kind of fun to listen to. Yeah. Is that Mikey? Yes. Mikey, what do you got for me? I think it's one of two. I'm going to take a guess that it's One Republic. Yeah. Okay. Reset. Woods. I swear. He didn't reset it. I did reset it. That's the only reason he could bet. Who is it? I swear. What'd you say? I said, I swear. Who is it? It is not, I swear. I know what it is. Can I buzz in? Yep. Yes. I've had the time of my life. No. Damn it. That's right. No, we can all get it. It's a Black Eyed Peas. Oh. It's called Dirty Bit. Oh.

43:25We all lose a point. You know who I thought the other? I was wrong on both who I thought it was. Either that it was Warner Republic or Timberland. Oh, I'm sorry. It is the time, Lauren. You're correct. Oh. All right. Sorry. He's got, like, a verse in here. It's his fault. It's not my fault. It ain't my fault. Okay, we've got two remaining. Reset. Reset. I know, but I'm trying to get the score here. Here we go. Four, two, negative one. Four, two. So these are each going to be two pointers. Oh, boy. Play along in your car. Here we go. Lauren. Kesha. Get. I want to hear more of it. I'm weird. Where are my glow sticks? These are from Chris's personal iPod. Yeah. Good. It's good. I like it. Thank you. All right. Is that it? I think so. We got a winner? Damn it. L.O.B.'s brain wasn't even working. I know. And she still just absolutely destroyed the competition. Congratulations. The Laberonica won. Congrats, Veronica. She won for you. Hang on the line. Whatever part of the brain controls that, I am not my brain. It's not your strong point. My brain don't work that way. It just doesn't work that way. Woods is getting a fryer's cut in 40 minutes. 40 minutes he's getting a fryer's cut. I feel bad about it. So do I. I don't know. I feel great about it. Woods, there was a time I didn't, and I was like,

45:15Hey, he said it. Now I do. Now I don't want it. I want to see it, but I don't want you to do it. It's going to be hideous. You took delight when you shaved my head. I did. It's different. It's different because all we did was take your hair off. This is a humiliating haircut. It'll be so ugly. It's a circle in the middle of the head. It's the worst possible haircut you can have. Hideous. I mean, I challenge you to name one worse than a fryer cut. There's not. There's nothing. I think the reverse mohawk. A mullet's not even as bad. What's a reverse mohawk? Oh, right down the middle. Oh, that's pretty bad. That is pretty bad. That's pretty bad. Still not as dorky as a fryer cut dude. There's nothing that bad, I don't think. Let's see. You know what I want to do? What the heck is real steel? That was the number one movie. What is real steel? What is it? I think it's your boy... Is it Hugh Jackman, maybe? I think so. I think it's Hugh Jackman. That's a head coach of the Raiders, right? No, it's Hugh Jackson. He basically... He's an old boxer, right? Oh, yeah. It's that boxing... Yes, they box robots. It's like... Seriously? This is what I've heard about this movie. Well, I'll tell you. First of all, Steven Spielberg. Second of all, it's Steven Spielberg's association with Disney. Third...

46:37It's supposed to be, believe it or not, this heartwarming thing that, like, gets you. It's supposed to be, like, rocky with robots and that it really does get you. Like, it touches your heart. Like, short circuit. Like, the robot ends up having, like, a soul. Yeah, this robot that they find, like, in a scrap heap. They make him into, like, this champion based on this guy's moves. This real human guy's moves and they program his moves in. It looks like rock-em-sock-em robots. It does. And the idea is that this is a old washed up sort of robot. Yeah, he was in a junkyard. But this guy gets him and he says, I'm going to actually do something with you and turn you into a champion. Against all odds, he takes this scrap heap and every time they walk into the auditorium to fight, he looks like a piece of junk. And he's going up against much bigger competition. Robot competition. Robot competition that is shinier, bigger, and against all the odds, starts to beat them. And then continues to fight by using the moves of this old boxer that Hugh Jackman plays. And I guess you can figure, people don't even care that they know how it's going to end. I think they just want it. They want that feel-good story.

48:10and nobody knows how to deliver that like Spielberg. In my mind, I'm like, I don't know how you get past the fact that it's a robot. Right. Hey, listen. People did to the tune of $27.3 million in ticket sales for real steel. Weird. Yeah, weird. Let me see if I have a... I believe I have a clip of it. Here's the trailer. What was he like? As a boxer? Charlie was the top contender number two in the world. Then the fight game changed. I'm coming with you. No, you're not. I'm either coming with you or you're fishing for your keys in the sewer. Oh, my God. That was close. Whoa. Stubborn kid. This ain't a video game. This is for real. Let's make some money. It ended too soon. That clip ended too soon for me.

49:40What did you think? Does that sound stupid? Yeah, I've seen the previews. It's not my scene. All right, here's the actual clip from the movie. Ah, yeah. That's before your time. That's a Generation 1, the very first fighting bot. They wanted him to look like us. The more human, the better. Crazy how quick everything changed. You put that in the cart. What changed? Good question. Boxing. Human boxing. It just faded. Why? I like when Aussies turn their voice to American. 100%. Every time I see Hugh Jackman, huge Jackman, all I can picture is Wolverine. Those big claws. Yeah. I certainly can't picture him like, hello, my baby, on Broadway. Wolverine. 570-1949 is our number. Matt. Matt. L.O.B.'s boyfriend. Her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, BFMC. L.O.B. and BFMC went to breakfast on Sunday morning and they imagined what it would be like to be parents because...

51:09They're the same age, but they don't have kids, and they were thinking they're going to think twice, you know, before having kids now. After they took her niece, they realized what goes into it, right? Oh, my gosh. What was the hardest part of taking her to breakfast? I think settling in. How old is she? She's 19 months. Yeah. And we went for, like, we walked to breakfast, so we had the stroller, the big Bob stroller. Uh-huh. And we were trying to, I was like, babe, where do I, where should I put this? And he's like, I don't know. I don't know where I'm like, I can't leave it. We tried to fold it up and everything fell out of it. And then she was like screaming as the two of us are like trying to figure it out. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. And then the plates came. And you don't want to put any of the plates in front of her, obviously. Too hot. You've got to cut it up and everything. So just trying to finagle, to keep it all away from her and cut her food and make sure she has her food before I get a bite of mine. Keeping an eye on her so she didn't choke on her food. Parents eat a lot of cold food. Yes, that's what I figured. A lot of cold food. You know what else I want to know? How many months? 19. See, we say that. 19 months old. Yeah. Why do we stop?

52:22I'm 492 months old. Really? Yeah, you know, I just did the math, but, you know, why don't we just keep with the months? I like a year and a half. Year and a half old. But people will say, oh, I just say 18 months old. Right. Until she turns two. How old is my son Mikey? He's 492 months old. I think two's the cutoff. Two? Yeah. Once they hit two, then it's... Some people still will be like 36 months. Oh, my gosh. You hear about the homeless Muppet that they just introduced on television? Homeless Muppet. Wow. On Sesame Street. It's a character. A new character. It's homeless. We'll explain that and more. And we'll also play real or fake with L.O.B. Oh, yeah. It's coming up. Friar's Cut. That's 7.30. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. It can strike at any time, and you can't see, smell, or taste it. It's carbon monoxide, a gas that can poison you if fuel-burning appliances in your home malfunction. Furnaces, water heaters, gas grills, and generators are all potential sources. Seal poisoning can happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone.

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1:01:14Well, it looks like we've got a little backup here this morning as you travel on to the 52 westbound, just west of Mass Boulevard. There's an accident just happened a few minutes ago. Also, the 163 northbound, some delays from the 805 northbound down to about the 80 eastbound. Looks like 28 miles an hour, and it's pretty slow as you travel on the 163 southbound, the 8 west, to Robinson Street in the teens this morning. This report brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Struggling to pay your mortgage? Financial assistance with no repayment required is available. For more information, call 1-800-954-KEEP or visit KeepYourHomeCalifornia.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. Good financial media station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized for days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. Word of the day is democracy. Don't forget. So, you know that Occupy Wall Street stuff that was going on in Manhattan about Wall Street? Well, guess what? It's moved to San Diego. Apparently, people were gathering down at City Hall, demonstration. They asked a 19-year-old, you know, hey, what's going on? And she said, we're all here for different reasons, but we stand in solidarity against Wall Street.

1:03:07Go to stuff because a bunch of people are there and don't necessarily know the ins and outs of why you're there. My dad asked me, are you guys getting affected by this Occupy deal? Are they doing that in San Diego? I said, well, yeah, but it's over the weekend, so I don't think anyone was really down the road. I mean, unless you were downtown. Well, yeah, I mean, if you were like, hey, listen, beautiful weekend. Should we take it to Tamarack? You want to go to the beach? No, let's drive around downtown. But it's a beautiful weekend. Yeah. You sure you don't want to go to a game or go to the park and have a picnic? No. Let's walk around downtown. But there's no one that's working at City Hall over the weekend, so who's going to get our point? Good question. Yeah. No, let's just go downtown and go to Occupy San Diego and just protest. Down at City Hall, which is closed. But it's closed, guys. Yeah, but still.

1:04:10Should we wait until Monday? Well, I'd rather. I mean, I don't have anything going on. I mean, I want to protest. I want to protest. I mean. I feel like protesting. I feel like protesting so bad. It's like when you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich really bad. You got to have it. You have to have it. So it's just going to be like tourists down there just wondering what we're doing. Yeah. But you know what? Still. At least we're there. We're there. I guess you're right. We're there. Let's just do it. It's better than, you know, going to the beach. Let's just buy a Sharpie and a big piece of white, you know. Well, I've got a bunch of generic protest signs. I've got a bunch in my car that say, like, we won't stand for this. Hell no, we won't go. Shame on you. You guys want to use those? Just generic protest. Because you never know when you're going to happen upon a protest. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, I'm going to tell you. I'm going to give you some baseball news here in a second. But I wanted to tell you that. Sports is brought to you today by Expressly Gourmet, delivering San Diego's favorite restaurants. So I put a little Facebook post yesterday. If you like football on a baseball field, you will really like the National League Championship Series. It's the St. Louis Cardinals against the Brewers. Brewers won game one. And these two teams absolutely loathe each other. Two batters and a guy gets plunked. Tony La Russa, the manager of the Cardinals, is one of the biggest whiners that you've ever seen in baseball and always complaining about something.

1:05:31This is going to be an absolutely epic series. And I believe game two is today. And the Detroit Tigers and Texas Rangers series will also continue today. It was rained out yesterday. Texas has a 1-0 lead in the best of seven series. They won 3-2. And in football yesterday, the Oakland Raiders, after losing Al Davis, had one of the most emotional... after the game. They won 25-20 over the Houston Texans. Interception in the end zone to seal it. And watching the Raiders standing on the sideline all crying and crumpled down to the ground on one knee. My mom didn't know what was going on but started crying. Oh, she did. She saw the head coach and made her cry. Hugh Jackman from X-Men. And from Real Steel or whatever it's called. Yep. And from Broadway. And from Broadway. Yeah. And from Australia. So, congrats. Woods is getting a friar's cut in 20 minutes on the radio. And the poor guy. The PHC is on point, too. Yeah, dude. My perfect haircut is on point. What if someone made a donation to save him? Like five grand. Are we still accepting donations to save him? They're not going to take it. Nobody wants to donate to not see it done. I mean.

1:06:49Sure. Can't double dip. Yeah. The only one that would do it would be your wife. Your wife would be the only one. And I wouldn't let her. Oh, I feel bad. I know. I've got five on it. You do not, Jay. I feel horrible. Who's doing it? Jay. You and me. Me and you? Yeah. Oh, he's so happy. It's like a really good length right now. It's perfect. It's kind of perfect. What do you have to do it? I have clippers. Okay. Do we have a razor? No, I'm not making it. No? I can't bick it. No, you can't bick it. I'm going on the news next Monday for an autism thing, and I can't be with a bicked head. It's so embarrassing. I'm going to be wearing a cap. You'd be so scary with a full-on bicked head. Oh, my gosh. All right, so here's the new character that is on Sesame Street. The new character on Sesame Street named Lily.

1:07:50They're explaining that this new character, Lily, on Sesame Street is homeless. Listen to this. Lily, we're excited to meet you. Nice to meet you, too, Miss Erica. Thank you for having us. Lily, this is kind of a tough topic for not only for grownups to talk about, but for kids. In fact, I'm not really sure how to conduct this interview because, you know, in general, Muppets are funny. And this is not funny. And so I don't really know how to carry on here. Talk about two. But you really wanted to talk about it. Why? Well, because one of the most important things for me was not feeling like I was alone. And the more I got involved with my community and everything, the more I felt like not only that I was helping... So Julie Chen, the host of the CBS Early Show, she's apparently looking like she's talking to Anwar Sadat. You know, just got that serious look. Yeah, you gotta hand it to her. You know, when I went to journalism school, Mike, Last thing I thought I'd be doing was interviewing a sock. Yeah. And trying to be, you know, about serious topics. I thought maybe about reading and things like that. Yeah, trying to pretend that there wasn't someone's hand up in it. Yes. Moving their hand. Moving their mouth to talk. Strings moving their arms. Yeah, and that sort of thing. Looking into the lifeless eyes of a puppet. That's right. I did that with puppets.

1:09:14So just let me get this straight. So Matt Lauer, he gets to interview the president, right? And I interview Lily, the homeless Muppet. So, okay. All right. Perfect. I quit. Other families. But I just felt really important to give and reach out to people. So that's why I think it's important for us to lead as kids. That's sweet. It's probably like a 29-year-old woman named Jessica who is out of the camera's view with a lapel. Well, you know, I just think it's important. Oh, my gosh. Does she have a script, I wonder? She's winging it. She's winging it, but it's uncomfortable. The whole thing is uncomfortable. Does she ask for five bucks? You got five bucks? Could have. You know, sometimes homeless jokes just aren't that funny. Just kind of decided as a show a long time ago not. To touch that. To make fun of the homeless. In fact, it was on a bulleted list from Mike. Yeah, of like things. Here's something that's off limits. You know, we don't want to joke about it. You don't want to talk about it. Because it just, you know. What a special friend you are. Lily, this must have been really tough for your parents. Because they always want to make sure that you feel safe. And that you are comfortable. And that you have everything you need. Did they talk to you about why sometimes it was hard to have enough food?

1:10:40Well, yeah. I know it was hard for my dad because... Holy. He was addicted to crack cocaine. Yeah. I thought she was... Is she homeless with her parents, I guess? It's a... It's a puppet. Yeah, I think so. It's a puppet. It's a Muppet on Sesame Street, which I understand the altruistic thought that went into it. But I mean, it's such a... It's a hard topic, you know? It's a very downer for Sesame Street, I believe. Yeah. Well, it's one thing to... Make, like, a fable out of it and put it into the show Sesame Street and do it in a way that kids can understand and, like, empathize. And that's another to be on CBS Morning Show. Well, technically, wasn't Oscar homeless? He lived in garbage cans. That's a good point. I mean, was Oscar, did he have a home? And Snuffleupagus was a coke head. Yes. He did cocaine. I mean, please. Yes. Mom. Had to resort to prostitution at times. This is a little heavy for a morning show. A little heavy. A little heavy. It's a true thing. I mean, it does happen, but for a Sesame Street character. What's next? What's next? Isn't there one that's HIV positive? There was. There is. I believe there is. Woods just went into his coffin. But I believe there is an HIV. They just want to touch on every topic. Hi, I'm Brad. I'm a new Muppet.

1:12:02It's your go-to. I've got herpes. Brad, how are you? I'm good. Good morning. It's good to be here. It's good to have you. So you're an advocate, I guess, for... Condoms. Condoms. A lot of trashy women. It's wonderful, Brad. A few drunken nights, and I've got herpes now. Now, Brad, you live on Sesame Street. Yeah. And who are some of your friends there on Sesame Street? Oscar is a friend. Good. It's nice. Grover. Grover, yes. Elmo. Bert. Bert. Ernie. Bert's a pal. He's a wingman. Got it. Yeah, but I've got herpes, so. Well, I'm glad that you're educating everyone not only there on Sesame Street, but also here. Feels real good at the beginning, and then it doesn't feel so good. You know. Brad, is it? Brad? Brad the Muppet. Brad. Don't know who controls you and who does your voice or any of that. And don't know that. But I would just like to ask them to use some discernment. Sure sounds a lot like someone I know. Yes. Sure does. You know, when he got laid off, he felt bad. That Muppet just said that her dad got laid off. You're a Muppet. So I kind of felt bad because he did.

1:13:23And my mom, too, you know, she was trying to, everybody was trying to, you know, be careful around everybody's feelings. But they sat me down and, like I said, when we went to the food pantry and saw other people, it was okay. My friend Amy was there and I was really surprised because a lot of times people don't talk about it. But once you start, then you realize you just feel better and people can find comfort in each other. Well, that's wonderful. Why, thank you, Lily. And we'll be back. She probably was so uncomfortable. Where do I go? Do I take the humorous angle? Did you and Amy talk about this? Is this something that you were able to openly talk about? Is Amy a Muppet as well? Yeah, Amy is a Muppet. Well, we're all friends. And Amy has parents, I hope? Yes.

1:14:26Amy has parents. Okay. And we're all happy. We're, you know, we have each other and we're happy. Well, Lily, it sounds like you're really positive despite your circumstances. Yes. That's what's important is to stay positive and to let everyone know that no matter what life throws at you, you know, if it kicks you in the nuts or if it throws you a screwball, you can always stay. Happy. Figuratively speaking, of course, because, Lily, you don't have nuts, both because you're a girl and because you're a Muppet. Yeah, mostly because I'm a Muppet, which is a puppet, but different. Hey, we'll be back. So, hey. You know. Hi, I'm Franzi. Hi, Franzi. I used to be a woman. What was your name before? Frenisha. Francesca. Francesca. Now I'm franzing. Well, this is a weird topic, I think, for a Muppet show. That's what we're trying to let everybody know is that nothing has to be weird. You're the one that makes it weird. Well, this is a show for children. Yeah, but everybody can know stuff about everything. There's real life, isn't there? Hang on. I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. Hi, everybody. My name is Doozle.

1:16:00And do you want to know what my deal is? What's your deal, Doozle? HPV. Wow. It's an important topic. That could definitely lead to cervical cancer. Yep. Hey, this is Brad. I've got that, too. You have that, too? I've got everything. Gonorrhea, the whole bit, syphilis. I don't think men can have HPV. No, they actually can spread it. Oh, they're... They're carriers. They're dormant carriers. They're dormant carriers. Now, I'm sure kids understand talk like dormant carriers. Absolutely. Hey, listen. We got to put it out there. I want to thank you both for being so brave. Sure. Wrap that rascal. Yep. Talking about this. Jay Isbell. You sound an awful lot like Charlie Sheen. Is that right? Yes. You do. And I sound an awful lot like Gumby. Just weird. I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were so sensitive. All right.

1:16:58Take it easy. Everybody just take it easy. Let's play Are They Real or Are They Fake. Are they real or fake? Yeah. Now, I don't remember how games are played. Almost from game to game. I don't remember. You wouldn't. Does anybody remember? Yes. The three boys are playing. Okay. The three men. And we have to get three callers on the line to pick a horse. Okay. Me, Woods, or Jay? Who will do better at knowing facts about LOB? And they could be real or fake. I mean, it could be something like at one time in college, I was a professional dancer, you know, exotic dancer to make my way through college, which may be something we don't know. Because she doesn't spill all the beans. No. So 5701949, call us right now and pick me, Woods, or Jay to know facts about L.O.B. It's called Are They Real or Fake? Woods, that happens to me so much. I hate it. I hate it. I've just felt nude. It never happens to guys like Jay. No. And he wears shirts that are four times too small for him. Well, Woods and I are both heftier guys. And so every once in a while we'll look down and our skin is exposed on our belt.

1:18:18Yeah, I just looked and I was like, oh God. Yeah, shirt got caught up around my armpit. Up around your fat? Yeah, just a spare tire hanging over my pants. And you look down and your entire flubber is there forever. It's the worst. You don't feel like a cold breeze? I just did. And I was like, oh gosh. Mike caught me. Sometimes my wife will walk up behind me and pull my shirt down over my butt crack. Oh no. Because it's fully exposed to the world. You definitely have an exposed butt crack a lot of times. It's a coin slot, Mike. I saw a lot of Mikey's coin. Coin slot at the Mikey-thon. It's a corn slot. Great story. Sometimes my mouth just doesn't work. It's the greatest. I just show my butt all the time. You do. Do we isolate that a little bit? Yes. Put that thing away. The corn slot. Corn hole. Corn slot. M1 Dan, who do you want to pick? Who do you want, Dan? Jay. Okay, hang on. Last time Jay won. Got them all right. That's true. M1 Brock, who do you want? I want Mikey. All right, hang on. Feast, everybody.

1:19:32M1 sugar water, you got woodsy. Hang on. All right, LLB, let's do this. Okay. Growing up, I had a cat, and my cat's name was Muffin. I say that is true. That is true. That's real. Jay? I believe it to be true as well. I believe it to be false. It is true. Damn it! It's a true fact. It is a true fact. I figured there's no way they're having a cat in that house. Yeah. Muffin. It was only for like a week and the man to give it over. Oh, wow. Why? Good parenting. Because it peed in the house? Yeah. No, no. I mean parenting of the cat. Oh. Not parenting of the kids. No, we all like had allergic reactions to it. And my dad, I think, just didn't like cats. And so he was excused to be like, kids are allergic. Can't do it. Wow. Yeah. I've tried this. Thank you. Yeah. All of us were like. All right, L.O.B. Okay. Growing up, my grandparents lived next door to the Utz Potato Founder. Utz Potato Chips Founder. It's so random, I have to say it's Foss. I'm going Foss as well. I'm going True. It's Foss. Yeah! Dang it! Yeah, yeah! I don't know women. Okay. Gosh, darn, Woods. I know my L.O.B. Yeah, you guys do. Okay. Mikey and Jay tied with two.

1:21:02I dressed up three years in a row as Rainbow Bright for Halloween. All right. Now, this one's tough because I have to discern whether or not L.O.B.'s mom would be down with that or not down with that. And I'm going to say she would be down with it. I'm going to say it's a true fact. Jay. I'm right with you because it's just random enough to be true. And Woods. I'm also saying true. And it's false. Dang it. Dang it. Bless. Dang it. Did you want to be? Is there anything about it that rings true? I always wanted to be, but it was too expensive of a costume. See, and I was going the other direction. I figured they bought it, and she's like, no, you're wearing it for the next three years. As long as it fits, you're wearing it. No, I had a whole lot of homemade costumes. I was a punk rocker a lot. I was too.

1:21:55Spray my hair. White face, spray the hair a little bit, a little black mark right there. You ever just a fat 50s guy? Because it's a white t-shirt and your jeans. And you rolled up your jeans. You roll up your shirt, your t-shirt. Oh, look, he's a fat Mexican from the 1950s, isn't he? It's Danny from Danny Zuko from Greece. Some gel in your hair? Oh, look, it's Danny Zuko from Mexico City. Oh, look, fat 50s guy again, huh, Mike? Mom, I don't want to be a kid. Can I get a jacket or something? Please? Well, it's cheap. I ate all my candy cigarettes. That's so freaking brilliant. Oh, it's awful. Look at me, I'm Mikey. I'm Sandy. Fat little kid with a white shirt. Typical fat guy. He's a genius.

1:22:5650 skies that you give up. You got another one, L.O.B.? I have two more. All right, let's do it. I introduced myself as Samantha to every kid I went to preschool with. Gosh darn it, L.O.B. Gosh, things are hard. She's an odd bird, man. She's odd. I say it's true. Jay? I'm going to say it's false. I'm going to say it's true also. L.O.B.? It is true. Yeah! I know my L.O.B.! Mikey picked the lead. Mikey three, Woods one, J two. I have one more. Go ahead. Which could either tie. Yeah, we've got to stop because if we don't, we could be. No. It'll come to a tie. Let's have two winners. All right, let's have two winners. When I was in third grade, there were so many more girls that wanted to play soccer than boys that I actually had to be on a boys' soccer team. That's false. Jay. That's true. That's true.

1:23:57That's false. Dang it. Mikey wins. I just went the opposite way of you, Mikey. Mikey got four out of five. That's right. Okay, thank you. M1 Brock, congratulations, my friend. Congratulations. You are the big winner. Yes, you are. Hang on a lot. When we come back, Woods is getting a Friars haircut on the air. Oh, God, I'm nervous now. With Clippers. And we will film it and put it on MikeyShow.com and our Facebook page. And you'll hear it. And it'll be fantastic. And it's next. You got something worth adding to the Mikey Show? Text him. at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now, 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Air Force, 6 p.m. Thursday on Channel 4, San Diego.

1:25:19Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Oh, hey, I'm a little slow on the update today. This is L.O.B. for Choose Fitness. So, okay, everyone's talking about winter's coming, holidays are coming, they're getting ready to pack on the pounds. Don't... Be another victim of packing on the pounds just because it's the holidays. Get into the gym. Start now. And for as low as $9.99 a month with no long-term commitment, just go try it out. This is the gym for everybody. Young, old, in shape, out of shape. People that have never been in a gym before. It's a really nice, light, and enjoyable atmosphere. They've got rules like no grunting, no slamming weights, no talking on your cell phone. They've got group classes there, personal training, tanning, hydro massages. You can bring guests if you've got a Select Plus membership. Right now they've got a Carlsbad, Escondido, Santee, and Mission Valley location. But they've got Rancho Bernardo, which is going to be opening up in November, and National City opening up in December. So check it out. Choosefitness.com. That's choose C-H-U-Z-E.

1:26:37With the change in seasons, it's a good time to be thinking about your health and the health of others. Right now at Vons, during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a portion of the price of participating items will be donated to support breast cancer research. Just look for the special pink ribbon tags. How much of a difference can you make? We've raised over $94 million over the past 10 years. While you're here, help your own wellness by getting your flu shot from the experts in the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll save 10% on your groceries. Here's to wellness. Vons, ingredients for life. Coupon expires one week from issue. Age and other restrictions may apply. See store for details. At Vons this week, get huge Vons Club savings. It's our big cheese event. Buy two cheeses and get one of equal or lesser value free. Choose from brands like Kraft Singles, Lucerne Cheese, and many more selected varieties. Get 10 containers of Yoplait yogurt for only $6, 4-6-ounce sizes, selected varieties. And don't miss our $1 or less sale. You won't believe what you'll find for under a buck. Exciting savings this week at Vaughn's. Ingredients for life. From my rock star daughter to my soccer star son, every California family is made up of strong Californians. And to keep mine California strong, I choose Yoplait.

1:27:46Only Yoplait Original has twice the calcium of the leading yogurt, and Yoplait Greek has twice the protein of regular yogurts. So why would this California mom choose anything else? Make a difference in your community by supporting Save Lids to Save Lives with Yoplait Yogurt from your local Vaughn store. See package for details. All hail Hamblo, the god of hamburgers. Thank you, it tastes glorious. Thank you, thank you for your greatest creation, the Steakhouse Burger from Cars Jr. The new Steakhouse $6 burger from Carl's Jr. 100% black Angus beef, crumbled blue cheese, crispy onion strings, and A1 steak sauce. Tastes like it's made by the god of hamburgers, and that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, A1 is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods. Hey, it's Mikey, and you've heard the good news about AIS. First of all, the government debt. They've been downgraded. The stock market is on a roller coaster. News of the economy is a mixed bag. Everybody's looking for ways to save money because it's uncertain economic times. Here's one piece of good news for you. AIS customers report an average savings of $500 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. I saved $1,600 a year. Now, how does AIS do it? Well, you don't have to call.

1:29:0210 to 20 insurance companies for quotes. AIS does it for you. They shop dozens of insurance companies and find the best combination of price and coverage for all your needs. So give them a call today. It's AIS. And look for discounts to qualify you. Some of them up to 20% off. And AIS never charges you broker fees. It's your premium. is all you pay for. If you haven't called AIS yet, make the call today for a free quote. 1-800-777-4AIS or go to AISinsurance.com. Hey everyone, this is L.O.B. and I want to tell you why right now is the best time for you to try ovation cell therapy. You've heard me talk about the new advanced formula which is sulfate and paraben free. leaving your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and softer than ever before. Well, let me give you another reason why you should try Ovation. They are participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October by featuring a special edition pink bottle of their Advanced Formula Cell Therapy with a portion of each purchase going back to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. In addition to these funds raised, the Ovation Nation team is going to be out at the Susan G. Komen San Diego's Race for the Cure on November 6th, held in Balboa Park.

1:30:12How fast are your reflexes? BMW has a few interesting ways to test them. For agility, why not get behind the wheel of a 328i sedan? and confidently tackle the most demanding stretches of windy roads. And for quickness, let's see how fast you can visit a BMW center to take advantage of this limited-time offer. Right now, BMW is offering a $1,000 credit on the 2011 328i sedan. As you sharpen your reflexes and the ultimate driving machine, you'll learn to relax about maintenance costs, because you won't have any for four years or 50,000 miles. Hurry into a BMW center today for a test drive, because challenging a driver's reflexes simply needs the right stimulus. For no-cost maintenance details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease a 328i sedan for $359 a month and get a $1,000 credit. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details.

1:31:30This report is brought to you by Advil congestion relief. Advil congestion relief treats the real problem of your sinus congestion, reducing swelling due to nasal inflammation. It's the right relief for the real problem. Well, we've got some real problems. One is on the 52 westbound at Madison Boulevard. There is an accident that happened earlier. Still some backup in that area as a result of it. Also, it looks like the 52 westbound here at the ramp from the 125, it's 15 miles an hour. Some slowing on the 94 westbound from Bancroft Drive down to Avocado Boulevard. That's off and on in the teens. And then you've got some delays traveling over here on the 5, the 5 southbound Old Town Avenue, 18 miles an hour. This report brought to you by the San Diego County Toyota Dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts. See your Toyota dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you.

1:32:36this is bird from bird search head with the fm 94.9 authentic surf for for a Monday morning being brought to you by Guayaquil year of a mate today under nice skies on the inland side of things, a little bit of fog along the immediate coastline. There is still some surf out there. West Northwest Southwest combination kind of holding steady knee waist high, maybe a few chest high plus that ways to the best of the combination spots starting up with kind of a bad tide. So look for some improvement as tide starts to drop down and some of those reef breaks still going to be pretty broken up and kind of crossed up as well. Water temp holding in the 61, 62 degree range, which is not too bad. And it looks like it's going to be another beautiful day once the fog blows out. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports broadcast, go to surpline.com. I'm off to Maui. Hopefully somebody will cover the report while I'm gone. If not, you're out of luck. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 authentic surf report. I want to hear, okay. And now back to the Mikey Show. Come on. With Mikey. Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be Guy-ish. Woods. But I'm super gullible. Lauren. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody for their insight. Jay. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Oh, great. Hope I like the warm-up act. On FM 94.9. That's good. People asking about, hey, did you give out all the stuff yet about the new laws and all that stuff? No. Not yet. I gave a little taste.

1:34:30It's a democracy, so I'm going to give you everything when we come back. Woodsy is wearing a poncho. Yes. And the reason that he is wearing the poncho is because we are about to shave a fryer's cut. My wife's so bad. Now, Wood said earlier in the season that if the Padres won six games in a row, he would do this, but the Padres could not put six wins together in a row. And so he didn't have to. Then, he said that if we raise more money for Mikey-thon than we did last year, he would do it. And last year, we raised $25,000. Now, over the weekend, I'm thinking to myself, Woodsy kind of went all out, you know. He's doing this autism thing coming up for an organization called Banding Together. He's got such a big heart. He loves Jake so much. He's playing with Jake, and he's just...

1:35:32He's doing all this stuff, and I'm like, I don't want him to get the fryer cut, you know? But Jay sends out our homework, and he doesn't even put that the fryer cut is going to be on the schedule for today. He forgot. And Woods reminded him and said, hey, also fryer cut. Hey, beautiful hair. Had. Operative word being had, yes. Right now, Woods has a PHC. It's a perfect haircut. He calls it his PHC. It's perfect. It is. One of the best I've ever had. I know it. My girl that does it is brilliant. Yeah, dude. I feel bad. M1 Stephanie from Lemon Grove. What was the word of the day? Democracy. That's correct. You are a good listener. I wove that in and tried to do it so crafty so you couldn't tell. And you did. You heard it. And you just won.

1:36:33Four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld, and you're going to get to go see the Halloween Spooktacular weekends this month, okay? Awesome. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Oh, also, silly and spooky shows like Pirates 3D. Hang on, okay? All right, perfect. Hold on. What happened? Oh, my God. What, what, what? Jay, it's not funny. Jay, you filthy, you filthy. What kind of hair is that? Let me see it. I don't know if it's human. I don't know if it's human. Oh, it's human. What part of the human body is it for? No, no. No, no, no, no. Jay. Jay, please tell me this. This is gardening tool, Mike, if you get my drift. No. It is. No, no. Recently was on my shrubs. No, no, no, no. Jay. No, no, no. Dude, there's hair in there. It's hair lodged in there. Take a picture. It's curly. Oh, my gosh. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't eat it. Jay, you monstrous! It's not even funny. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. It's kind of funny. It's kind of funny. It is mean. It's a little funny. And disgusting. Oh my gosh. That's disgust. There's some white hair.

1:37:49I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. No. Mikey. No. There's some white hairs in here. You. Oh, my gosh. How could you do that, Jay? Filthy. How could you do that? That is filthy. You should be ashamed of yourself. Jay brought the clippers in. Why did you let him break the clippers in? Oh, my God. And you know what? He could have if he wanted to. He could have not let you see that. Yep. There's a little brush out here that he could actually use to clean it up. But he wanted you. Oh, my gosh. He wanted you to see it. It's his trimmer. It's his trimmer. It is the grossest thing. There's salt and pepper in there. Oh. Yep. Girl, how drunk is you? It's beyond that. Really, dude? Really? It's so. Awful. There's a clump of hair in this thing. Ah, it's filthy. Let's get to shaving. Shay, why would you... Looks like you already got to shaving. Yep. Yes, sir. All right, let's do this. It's all we have. I know. Well, he needs to clean it. Clean it. He's coming in with his little... Oh, this sucks. Ah, I'm itchy. I'm so itchy. Let's get that out of there. Oh! Gross! God! Gross!

1:39:17You gross person. Oh, my gosh. You make me sick. He blew it on the floor, and now he's using his hand to just yank it out. Hey, beautiful hand. A little oatmeal in there? A little oatmeal in there, yeah. It's the filthiest thing I've ever seen in my life. Oh, man. All right, let's give you a... God, that thing sounds bold. Does it work? Wait, Jay. Wait. Hey, Jay, I don't think that's the way to go. You don't think so? I don't think so. Why not? He's got a plate. He's got like a little tiny black plastic plate. It's like a yarmulke. All right. I mean, you tell me. You didn't want to freehand it? I'll freehand it. I want to. Well, wait a minute. I'm interested in your idea. How are you going to do that? I always get a little outline around it. I think freehand it's going to be better. He was the one who kind of brought that up. I saw an M1. You want me to start? Oh, boy. Sure. You want me to start?

1:40:18Oh, God. All right. Woodsy, I love you, buddy. And I appreciate you. I mean it. Do you understand that? Here, let's start it off right. A little head massage, forehand. All right, get you careful. Okay, get in there. Oh, no. I'm going to look like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia tomorrow. I'm starting on the right side. Oh, my gosh. I feel so bad because this hair is good. I mean, it is. It took him a long time to get this nice. I'm getting a circular thing going on here. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, man. Just widening. Oh, God. Oh, man. Widening the swath. Widening the swath a bit. It's so hideous. Doesn't hurt, does it? No, not at all. Okay. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, God. Oh. I can only imagine.

1:41:18Oh, God. Oh, I can only imagine. Oh, that little... Let me tell you, as much as you can imagine how bad it would be, it might be worse. His fauxhawk is just tumbling down. Oh, my God. Oh, it's so sad. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow is right. Oh, wow. Oh, wow is right. Oh, no. Oh, no. Here comes the widening. Oh, wow. And you're pushing the bangs forward. Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. Oh, gosh. Just, Woodsy, try not to think about where this clipper was last year. Oh. You are a trooper, bro. This is, uh. You're a trooper. It looks like Tim Tebow. It does.

1:42:12Oh, my God. It's that bad. A fatter 10 people. All right. I mean, how's it been? Haven't I done enough? All right. Oh, gosh. Okay, now, you know what I need? Can you get me some scissors, Jay? What kind of scissors do you like? Oh, wow. Just any scissors. Are you going to leave that little thing sticking up? I want to make it so it's more, you know, presentable. Oh, gosh. It's a fryer cut. I know, but I want it to look good. I don't want you to look ridiculous. Really? Can you look at me straight onwards? Is it awful? Is it the worst thing you've ever seen? Let me see. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my perfect front of my hair. By the way, if Sienna were still on this show, she would be peeing right now. Yeah. Jay, are these scissors from 1941? These are the dullest. They're like left-handed kid scissors. You have brand new scissors. The rest of us have 19. Don't I have some? I don't know where they are, though. Oh, Mike, how dare you? Chris took them. Is this awful? Is it an awful elevator? We should maybe leave that. Just a little alfalfa? Let me see. I need to fix something. I need to fix it up. I've done better fryer cuts. Have you?

1:43:41Honestly, have you ever done a friar cup before? Of course not. Oh, man. Oh, woods. Oh, yeah. Oh, woodsy. I like the harshness of it. The harshness. Dude, it is so harsh. It is so, like, even a friar. It's like, whoa. Even a friar back in the day would have gone, this isn't for me. The priesthood is not for me. Why did they do that? Why did they do that? To symbolize that they were under the control. someone else i think because nothing says subservient like having to do that um hang on i gotta clean the top uh because you know i want to make sure it's nice and even um when people see this and i'll take an immediate picture oh gosh did i hurt you no we can see your brain now yeah pretty much this is like oh this is like a brain surgery it looks like that

1:44:44Little red thing you should have looked at up here. Really? Oh, no. All right. Perfect. Now, don't move, Woodsy. Oh, no. Now, I am going to take a picture and post it on Facebook. Oh, gosh, Woods. You are a trooper. I can't even delight in it. I know. You can't? It doesn't even feel bad. It looks so ridiculous. Okay, now look at me straight on. Oh, I can see it. Oh, God. Oh. Oh, my God, I can see it in the phone. All right. Oh, boy. Oh, Woody. Oh, my gosh. Now, this is going to be... Oh, my God. Let's... You should... Oh, I know what I want to do. Okay, here's what I'm going to do. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. Okay, I know what I'm going to do. You know what I'm going to do? L.O.V.'s dying. Oh, no. I'm getting hot. It's a good thing you're married already. Oh, my God. This is what it's going to look like tomorrow, and that's not even much better.

1:45:43Okay, wait, wait, wait. It's bad, dude. Okay, hang on. I'm calling the hotline. That's bad. Okay, wait. Jay, come sit here. Okay. Put on these headphones. All right. I know what you're going to do. You're going to go to the bathroom and let him see it. And let him see it. You got to pot up the phone. Okay. Oh, man. Hello, Miguel. Can you hear me? Yes. Okay. Here we go. Oh, no. We're going to go and you'll hear Woods' reaction. Woods' perfect hair on the floor. We're going to the bathroom. Oh, no. This is a guy who needs all the help he can get. Oh, gosh. Look what you did. Look what you did. It's the worst. You are. Oh, gosh. It hurts. It hurts. It does. It does. I've never seen a haircut so bad in my life. Oh, no. I'm watching that game. Oh, poor Woodsy. Poor Woodsy. Oh, Woods. Oh, Woods. That guy. I'm not kidding. He will do anything. Yeah. That guy will do anything. That guy's crazy.

1:47:14Okay, now I've got to post these pictures. Oh, poor Wood. Where is he? Is he still in there? Listen, we were going to make him have to go around with that for a couple of days, and I was like, no. It seemed like a good idea until he was so subservient, like willing to do it. You know, that was it. Like, he was so cool about it. Yeah. If he had gone kicking and screaming, we would have been like, oh, come on. Or if he would have tried to get out of it. Right. But he was so good about it. He looked in that mirror. Did it break your heart? Yes. No. Oh, look at that guy. Oh, Woods. Put a shirt on, for goodness sakes. I think he's cool enough to... Oh, no. At least you're tall, Woods. I think you're cool enough to pull it off, pal. Because you can't really tell until you see the top of your head. And then you go, oh, wonder what happened to that man. Oh, my God. He must be a member of the clergy. At least when you wear a hat, it looks normal. Yeah. Does it? Yeah, you can see his sideburns. It's all going off tomorrow. Oh, no. Poor man. You poor, poor man. That sucked. 570-1949. Let me see. I'm putting all this on.

1:48:35If you want to see a picture of it, just go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Oh, what a trooper. Beyond. What am I going to do on the news next week? I'm going to look like an idiot. You should get a hat. Yeah, you wear a hat. I'm going to wear a hat. You have to. You can't go in like that. You should wear the Bieber wig. Or the long black wig we have. Can you imagine? Yeah, I'm just here to talk about autism. You're going to try to talk about autism and try to be normal. Long black wig. Well, there it goes. Just go to our... Oh, wow. It's the first pictures up. Oh, wow. Oh, that's hideous. My wife. My poor wife. Go to facebook.com slash Mikey show. I love that Facebook has made it instant for people to be able to see stuff. Oh, gosh. Oh, woodsy.

1:49:35Oh, man. Oh, Woodsy. Oh, it's painful to look at that. That's freaking hideous. And the video will be up. Oh, man. The video will be up. Sorry. That is hideous. Oh, man. By the way, have to let everybody know that Mikey-thon was the biggest success we've ever had. In fact, so leading up to Mikey-thon, Over all of the years that we'd been raising money with what used to be called the 28-hour show for Rady, we'd raised close to $100,000 over the years. And in one single Mikey-thon, last Thursday and Friday, we raised half that. That's crazy. Unbelievable. $55,000. Rebecca and I...

1:50:36Just collapse into each other's arms at the end of the whole thing about what it will mean. You know, what it'll mean. And just M1s and how generous you were. I mean, given, man. I mean, given. Even Woods, he doing, I mean, listen, saying you were going to do this ridiculous, I couldn't do it, Woods. What? I couldn't do the fryer cut. I couldn't do all this wacky stuff. I mean, you do some wacky stuff. You know, the alternative is ripping the mic somewhere in an office in a suit and tie. I mean, that's the deal. Yeah. You know, that's the alternative. That will never happen. 570-1949. The pictures are great. The pictures are great. He's wearing a poncho and... You can see it right now at Facebook.com slash Mikey show. It's going to be funny tomorrow when it's gone. I'm going to look even maybe more ridiculous. Well, not more ridiculous, but pretty ridiculous. I've always said, hey, listen, people got their own thing. They can do whatever they want. But even as a person that, you know, I'm a Christian. I'm looking at these people going, really? With this idea? It's that it's.

1:52:00I don't want to criticize it too harshly because I just don't want to be critical of people. Teach their own, but are you really helping with this idea I'm going to tell you about? It's so stupid. I'll tell you next. With the change in seasons, it's a good time to be thinking about your health and the health of others. Right now at Vons during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a portion of the price of participating items will be donated to support breast cancer research. Just look for the special pink ribbon tags. How much of a difference can you make? We've raised over $94 million over the past 10 years. While you're here, help your own wellness by getting your flu shot from the experts in the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll save 10% on your groceries. Here's to wellness. Vons. Ingredients for life. Coupon expires one week from issue. Age and other restrictions may apply. See store for details.

1:52:57At Vons this week, get huge Vons Club savings. It's our big cheese event. Buy two cheeses and get one of equal or lesser value free. Choose from brands like Kraft Singles, Lucerne Cheese, and many more selected varieties. Get 10 containers of Yoplait yogurt for only $6, 4 to 6 ounce sizes selected varieties. And don't miss our $1 or less sale. You won't believe what you'll find for under a buck. Exciting savings this week at Vons. Ingredients for life. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy, and we never miss the chance to give each other a hard time about something. So since it is football season, Somebody's going to get raked over the coals every day for their football knowledge or lack thereof. You can join in the fun with the FM 94.9 pigskin pickup. Show off your skills at FM 94.9 SD.com. Pick against Mikey, Hillary, Jeremy, me, and the rest of the jocks. You could win a $50 gift certificate to expressly gourmet. Get signed up and see more at FM 94.9 SD.com. Your home is where you feel the safest, but a silent threat may be lurking. One you can't see, smell, or taste. Is carbon monoxide the leading cause of accidental poisoning deaths in America? I'm Kevin Nida, President of the California State Firefighters Association. Each year, firefighters across California see the devastating effects of CO poisoning, yet prevention is quick and easy. Install a carbon monoxide alarm in your home. It's the only safe way to detect the silent killer. And, as of July 1st, it's the law.

1:54:25The CSFA supports this safety measure and urges you not to wait. CO poisonings happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone. Common sources include gas-burning appliances, grills, and generators. Take this simple step to protect your family. Install a CO alarm today. For more information, visit casafehomes.org. October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after you... You want to run. You want to feast on something. And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. And you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that. That's fearlessraces.com. Policies issued by American General Life Insurance Company, Houston, Texas. Not available in all states. For details, visit matrixdirect.com. Sometimes I worry about what would happen.

1:55:47happen to my family if I lost my job, but I never really thought about what would happen to them if they lost me, and I didn't have life insurance. My cousin's husband died, and now she might have to sell her house just to make ends meet. I don't ever want to put my wife through that, so I called Matrix Direct. Hi, I'm Brent Langdon for Matrix Direct. We partnered with American General Life to find you their lowest rates on term life insurance products. If you're 40 years old and married, we could find you a quarter of a million dollar policy for less than $16 a month. Call now for a free, no obligation quote. 1-800-551-8505 I feel so much better now that I called. It only takes five minutes to see how you could save up to 70%. Call now. 1-800-551-8505 1-800-551-8505. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again, because the majority of those companies actually work for the credit card companies, and they make the credit card companies a lot of money from people just like you. But there's another way out of debt, and it's not bankruptcy, a way to reduce your debts and save you thousands of dollars. Even better, you can find out how for free by calling 1-800-700-6617.

1:57:05At Freedom Debt Relief, we're not a credit counseling organization. We're not a debt consolidation company. We offer a unique alternative to save you the most money possible to resolve your debt in the shortest amount of time. If you're thinking about a credit counselor, ask yourself this. Are they working for you or the credit card companies? Reduce your debts and save thousands of dollars by learning the secrets to settling your debt. For free information, call 1-800-700-6617. That's 1-800-700-6617. 1-800-700-6617. Hi, I'm Joan Embry, Conservation Ambassador for the San Diego Zoo. I hope you'll join me for our walk on the wild side through the zoo to benefit our koalas and those in the wild. All participants will receive a colorful event t-shirt and admission to the zoo for the whole day. Walk on the Wild Side, presented by Mission Federal Credit Union, starts at the San Diego Zoo at 7.30 a.m. on Saturday, October 15th. Sign up today at sandiegozoo.org. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for Dave and Busters. You've got to come in and hang out with me sometime, man. I'm going to be there on select Mondays and Sundays this year watching football. It's a great place to eat. It's a great place to drink.

1:58:19It's a great place to play games. There is so much to do there. Would love to see you. It's Dave & Buster's. It's Mission Valley. Come on down there to Dave & Buster's and make it right with your boy. Dave & Buster's. Eat, drink, play football. This report is brought to you by Robitussin. Got a cold? Not sure what to take? Go to Robitussin.com. See how Robitussin has made it simpler than ever to get the right relief. Robitussin. Relief made simple. Heading into Vista on the 78 eastbound before Emerald Drive, an accident on the right shoulder. It's a semi-truck and a car. 52 westbound after Mass Boulevard. They had an accident there earlier, but it's cleared. You do have a backup to the 125. And the 5 southbound via De La Valle, an accident on the right shoulder. Two cars, a tow truck is on the scene. This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Ever feel like you hit a roadblock when marketing your small business? Constant Contact combines email marketing with social media to help you overcome that barrier. Visit ConstantContact.com to get started. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

2:00:16Welcome back. So, almost 2,000 cases of beer were stolen in Jacksonville, Florida. Yeah, Jay. Florida, weird. 2,000 cases of Anheuser. That's quite a score. Yeah. That's a lot of partying. I don't know how many beers that is. I need to figure that out. That's a lot of beers. There's 24 in a case. 24 times 2,000. 48,000. Holy cow. 48,000 beers. All right. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 48,000 beers. That's a ton of beers. A lot of parties. Well, and the thing, too, is that that would really take a long time. Yeah. Where do you put something like that? If you steal it, where do you store it? I know it. You must have access to some sort of a... Underground lair, maybe. Yes. The total, it was valued at 30 grand. Oh, wow. 30 grand. You could open a bar with that. Yeah, you could. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Going to run down for you a couple of the NFL scores. Vikings finally got on the board. They won 34-10 over the Cardinals. The Bills beat the Dream Team. Stop calling. Every time someone calls them the Dream Team, they lose. I didn't make it up. Vince Young made it up. It was my Dream Team. I picked for the Super Bowl, LLB. It's heartbreaking. Mike Vick, four interceptions yesterday. They look.

2:01:44Like a team that has lost. 31-24. The Bills beat the Eagles. The Saints beat the Panthers 30-27. All right, Giants fans, I'm very sorry, but you got beat by the Seahawks yesterday and by Charlie Whitehurst. Gotcha. That's a tough pill to swallow. Steelers back to their winning ways. They won 38-17. The Bengals 30-20 over the Jags. The Chiefs won, again, 28-24. The freaking 49ers put it on the Buccaneers, dude. 48-3. Jim Harbaugh. Yeah, Jim Harbaugh. And I'll tell you what. The game I'm really excited about is tonight. It's Lions and Bears. Bears have a really good defense. And those Detroit Lions are 4-0. Lions and Bears. Lions are 4-0. Let's see if these guys are for real. So that game is tonight. Starts around 5.30 our time on ESPN. I'm the guy in your fantasy football league that hasn't won a game. You would be, is there anybody that hasn't won a game in the NFL? Let me think. Yes, there is somebody in the NFL, the Indianapolis Colts. You are the Indianapolis Colts of fantasy football. I haven't won a game. And there's no way I can in the near future. I'm looking at my roster. I have the worst roster, mainly because I've dropped guys that are good. Maybe you'll play someone that's got a lot of players on the injured list or has a bye week. That's what I need. 0-5.

2:03:08I need that, or I need someone in the league to go on vacation and forget to set their line up. Like L.O.B. used to every week. Too bad I'm not in there. That's a true story. It was one time. Oh. So, first, before we get to this deal, I want to talk to M1Gen. She wrote me an email, and this is kind of a way to put a ribbon on Mikeython and sort of wrap up Mikeython. She was telling me that... UCSD does some really incredible work in terms of autism research, but they need help. Isn't that right, Jen? Yes. And what do they need? Always looking for subjects in studies. There are a few different labs at UCSD that are studying autism. Always looking for siblings, which are younger siblings of a child that has autism. That's due to the fact that usually autism isn't diagnosed until around two years old. So the labs that look at brain development and like to know what's going on very early in those children don't get a chance to even look because they don't know who they are until they're two. And since the younger siblings have a higher incidence of autism, if they can get them early, then for the ones that do later develop autism, they have data on those kids.

2:04:39Well-matched controls, which means kids who are typically developing and are matched to at-risk children for things like whether or not they have an older sibling, when they were born, their due date, etc. And the families who have kids with autism are more than happy usually to participate because they want to help. Find a cure. But to get healthy controls, it's kind of hard because you get maybe $10, $15 for your time. Moms are busy and all that kind of stuff, but it's really, really helpful if people who have pretty young babies right now or maybe they're pregnant or they know someone who's pregnant get information about the study so that when they have a baby, they can participate because they start usually two to four months. My daughter's in a study right now and she started with... Okay, now, here's my question. If they fit that and they want to help and they want to help to find a cure... What do we do with that information you just gave us? Where do we call? What do we do? How can we get involved? Okay, so I'm thinking about what's the easiest thing to do. I think what I'm going to do is first I'll post some links on your guys' Facebook page, places they can go to read more about the studies, see which ones they might be interested in, get contact information. Anyone who's not on Facebook can also email me if they want at jennifer.petrick.

2:06:03That's P-E-T-R-I-C-H at gmail.com. And I can answer any questions or put them in touch with someone who can answer more of their questions or give them any information they need about participating. Thank you, Jen. That was really nice of you. Thank you for doing that. Yeah, no problem. All right, we'll see you. That's great. That could really help. It could help eventually find a cure. Also, if you go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you can see a picture of Woods with a fryer cut. With a fryer cut. Yes. It is not something I could do. But that man over there. It's because you don't have any hair. That's true. But even if I did, I don't have the rocks to do what he did. You got to look at it. It's something to be seen. It's a sight for sore eyes. So, listen, I get that they're trying to do something good. But I just think that doing something called Jesus Ween for Halloween may be a little, you know.

2:07:05Not so well thought out. Listen to this. It's almost October 31st, and many families are gearing up for Halloween, but this year a Christian group is encouraging many Christians to give out Bibles and Christian gifts in a friendly way. So let me get this straight. So what you're saying is that instead of, say, a Snickers, I hand out small Bibles. Or big Bibles, depending on, you know, whatever. So now my kid's bag weighs 48 pounds because you gave him the King James version and it's just this giant, you know, heavy Bible. Not to mention the fact, listen, most seven-year-olds aren't really sitting down to go through the book of Ephesians. They're just not. No.

2:08:11They're just not. Also, nothing pisses off a parent more. You're not going to help anybody by pissing them off. Right. What if Luke, Ryan, and Jake, your boys, went to somebody's house and they handed them the Koran? Right. In their bag. Well, listen. Cool. I would have the same reaction to it that I would, if somebody put a Bible in there, get. Yeah, get. Get. I have a question for you. Like, how about a snicker? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Snickers Reese's. They satisfy. How about don't be weirdos? Now, I have in my family an aunt, an uncle that wouldn't let their kids celebrate Halloween at all. And because they said it was demonic. Right.

2:09:02I always was like, oh, it's weird. Yeah. I mean, they got two really good kids. I mean, their kids are really good. They're both in college. They're dynamite kids, dynamite family, and I love them to death. But I always found that a little odd. Yeah. So does our pastor. Our pastor thinks that that is the stupidest thing he's ever heard. He thinks it's so dumb. Yeah, it's a thing for kids. It's make-believe. Yes. And, you know, in that situation, I think he's right when he says, I think there's other things we can worry about. Absolutely. For sure. I think so, too. It's just stupid. Same thing with the religious track. You know, the guys that hand those out? Yes. Oh, the tracks. Track? You know, what they are is they're little pamphlets. They're like little pamphlets. Well, this is—and no offense. I don't want to offend anybody. I don't. This is not being said to offend anybody. I think that it's virtuous that Mormons will go on missions and they'll go and do their thing, right? I think that that's virtuous. However, if you're trying to attract, right, nothing says join me like a white buttoned up shirt, black pants, a 10 speed and a bicycle helmet. Right? Yeah. I mean, if you're a person that's just like, hey, I'm kicking the tires on this stuff. I don't know what that is, but I want it.

2:10:35It's like when Woods saw Motley Crue for the first time. When Woods saw Motley Crue for the very first time, he goes, I don't know what that is, but I want it. Okay? I'm in on it. I don't know what it is, but I'm in on it. I wonder, are there a lot of people that go, hey, listen, I don't know what the dudes that walk in pairs that are 17 years old, 18 years old, wearing the white button-down shirts. My whole take is I'm a Christian dude, but I'm not. I don't want to be weird. Like, you don't have to be a weirdo. Like, why do you have to wear a uniform? Or knock on doors. Don't do the... You're not going to attract anybody by being a weirdo. And just because you know somebody's name in my house does not mean that I'm going to look for them for you. They always come up and go, hey, is so-and-so here? How do they know? I don't know. They go through your mail. Yeah. I'm wondering. I'm just kidding. Well...

2:11:31And it's the same bit with the people that are in front of the sports arena with signs that say, you're going to go to hell if you go in here. Don't know anything about that, but I want part of it. Who says that? Lost souls. Lost souls. I mean, listen, you got to be. Maybe that's it, L.O.B. Maybe you just answered the question. Maybe that's why it works. Because there are people that are just lost enough. That they go, oh, I'm going to go to hell if I go in there. Who knows? That was a close one. The truth is you're not going to hell if you go in there. One in 35,000 is still one new recruit for them. There you go. True statement. 570-1949 is the phone number. Let's see. We have not done old time radio in so long. But it is time.

2:12:31Hello, hello, yes. Hello, yes. It's time once again to transport yourself back into time. And to do something that we like to call old time radio. It's where we play radio from yesteryear. And simply discuss it as we play. So great. The National Broadcasting Company presents Radio City Playhouse, Attraction 51, Blackout. Hello, baby. It's your favorite program. So happy. Always. Oh, yes. An orchestra always makes everyone happy, especially when they're tuxedoed. Playing trombone. I'm a nurse. Darling, did you pack my lunch? I'm going to my job as an orchestra person for the radio. At the radio station. Identical snooze. Yes. Identical, yeah, identical. That's a phone ringing. Oh. Is that what that is? Yes. Roger.

2:13:45This is Jane Bermont. Roger, was Johnny with you last night? No, Johnny's not here. Johnny's not here. He's not here. As far as you know. What are you implying? I swear. All right, he's here. He's fine. He's here. He's right next to me. Wake up, darling. We've been caught. Because he isn't home yet, and I'm worried. I thought maybe... Sort of a celebration, you know. Murdoch being made editor and everything. Roger, he didn't take a drink, did he? He did a lot more than that, dear. I'll tell you that. Dear, it hasn't been invented yet, but there's something called meth. He tied one on. Oh. Promise. He knows what happens when he drinks. He promised me. This is Rebecca and Rebecca calling me 10 years ago. Back in the day. I'm sorry, but it sounds like it's not my problem.

2:14:49Do you know what he does when he drinks? He puts on a bra, panties. Kisses men. Kisses men. What's wrong with that, woman? Oh, Jane, relax. Johnny will be all right. Alcoholism hasn't even been invented yet. We smoked something called a marijuana cigarette. Marijuana cigarette. Delightful. Roger. Roger. Hello. Hello. Hello. Sarah, connect me again with... K45. Yes, K45291. Vermont. face is drawn and worried. She looks out the window, sees nothing, and returns to the center of the room where she stands uncertainly. At this exact moment, a man turns off Lexington Avenue on to 71. This guy's 100% drunk. The narrator is 100%. Her husband's been gone for 37 hours, but everyone keeps saying, stop worrying.

2:15:52Stop calling. He's fine. He does this. He's a grown man. He's a grown man. Every once in a while a man disappears for 47 hours. His face is very dirty and he's lost his hat. Jay. Johnny doesn't care about any of this because Johnny is a pathological drinker. No alcoholism. Pathological drinker. Hadn't been invented yet. Mike is a pathological drinker. The most literal sense of the word. Nobody seems to mind this except his wife because Johnny's charming. He loves people and everybody. And when he's drunk, he thinks everybody loves him. What? Plus, we all know a woman has no place to say anything. She's not even allowed to use the phone. Well, if she asks for permission, then yes. He's used to Johnny. He's a little nauseated by Johnny's closeness, but he's very kind as he helps him into the elevator. The doorman understands that Johnny is just Johnny.

2:17:00And by just Johnny, we mean doesn't wear pants, his hair is disheveled, dresses as a woman occasionally. Vomit on his lapel. Yes. And that's the way we did things back then. That's right. It was a much better place. Why do people have to complain so much now? When I was growing up, vomiting on your sweater was all right. As long as you cleaned it up like a man. I so late. Isolate. Isolate. Oh, my God. There's an angel on my knees. Hey, take it easy, Mr. Bama. The elevator's mad at me. Oh, no, the elevator loves you. It told me so yesterday. It did? Well, then I'll kiss it. Identical to a person. I'm speechless. I'm speechless. No one ever talked. No one ever talked. No one ever talked. Hey.

2:18:02You say woods? Are they tap dancing? Seriously. Brain. I'm speechless. He hasn't got any brain. I tell you, I killed him. I absolutely murdered him. You know another name for that guy? Crooked Sheriff. Crooked Sheriff. Identical Woods on his birthday. Identical. Yeah, that guy right there on his birthday. He walked up to Mikey and he said, Hey, Mikey. You see my butter over there? My buddy over there? He plays with me on the cripsy crows. Cripsy crows. Cripsy toes. And you know what he said that you look like in those sunglasses? No, Woods, what's that? He said you look like a crooked sheriff. Here you are, Mr. Bermond. Just hang on to the wall, Mr. Bermond. Good old wall.

2:19:26Hey, maybe Mrs. Bermott isn't up. Should I unlock the door? Who is it? This is Johnny. It's your husband with a bra. Let's pretend it's not me. We'll see what she does. Let's say somebody else and see if she answers the door. I'll say, yeah. Say that it's Clark and see what she does. It's Clark. You dirty, dirty. Dirty. Felty dirty. It's your lover. Say my name. It's your sex pervert lover. Open the door. Are you wanting it? It's Patterson, Mrs. Belmont. I got Mr. Belmont. Who is that? That's your wife. She always says just a minute when she lets the guy out the window. It's got to give her time to put her to his pants and get out the window. Hurry up. Let him out the window.

2:20:32What? I'm coming inside. Oh, nobody's leaving the window, are they? You're going to clean up, aren't you? Gross. Are you drinking a sweeper wine? Sweeper wine! Oh, man. That was brilliant. Mikey Morning Quarterback, when we come back, you call us and tell us who you want to bet on. L-O-B or J. Also... I'm going to run down all those new things that will affect you that have been signed into law. Everything from your cell phone to the tanning beds to everything. It's all been signed into law here in California because Governor Brown signed it into law. We'll tell you what it is when we come back. How's our chance? Let's do it. More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning. to like the sound of that. This is the F&A concert calendar.

2:21:44Hello, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Very important ones, in fact, like tonight, an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up with the pains of being pure at heart. And it's only $6 tonight at the Belly Up. Tomorrow night, Dropkick Murphy's Playhouse Blues. Friday night, Bring on the Bright Lights presents Cut Copy at 4th and B. And still to come, Foo Fighters, Rocktoberfest on the 22nd with the Soft Pack, Everest, Lobos, and so many others. So Boxer Rebellion, The Damned, Wild Flag, City in Color, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Dinosaur Jr., and Pinback. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Air Force, 6 p.m. Thursday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego.

2:23:01Hey gang, it's your old pals. It's Woods. And L.O.B. That's right. We are a couple of very fortunate people. We both have 20-15 vision in both eyes. And why is that, L.O.B.? We went to Dr. Sandy T. Feldman over at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. And I got the eye LASIK procedure, which I still forget sometimes at night. I go to take my contacts out. And I realize, oh yeah, I can just see now. You know, I was thinking about it. We were driving home from Mikey Thon the other day. We raised $55,000 for autism. And I was like, you know what? I sat there. I didn't have to take my contacts out. I didn't have to mess with any of that. My eyes were hurting and tired. But you know what? I could still see. Yeah. And we didn't have to go deal with taking the contacts out, putting them back in, any of that stuff. It's incredible. You have to get LASIK if you've been thinking about it. Give them a call, 858-452. 3937. Now, LLB, is that the only way you can get in touch with them? You can also go online to clearvieweyes.com, and you've got to get the consultation. It's honestly one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. Absolutely. Get the consultation. Figure out if it's right for you. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. With the change in seasons, it's a good time to be thinking about your health and the health of others. Right now at Vons, during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a portion of the price of participating items will be donated to support breast cancer research.

2:24:25Just look for the special pink ribbon tags. How much of a difference can you make? We've raised over $94 million over the past 10 years. While you're here, help your own wellness by getting your flu shot from the experts in the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll save 10% on your groceries. Here's to wellness. Vons, ingredients for life. Coupon expires one week from issue. Age and other restrictions may apply. See store for details. At Vons this week, get huge Vons Club savings. It's our big cheese event. Buy two cheeses and get one of equal or lesser value free. Choose from brands like Kraft Singles, Lucerne Cheese, and many more selected varieties. Get 10 containers of Yoplait yogurt for only $6, 4 to 6 ounce sizes selected varieties. And don't miss our $1 or less sale. You won't believe what you'll find for under a buck. Exciting savings this week at Vons. Ingredients for life. New Toyota vehicles are arriving daily. And so are the great deals during Toyota's Labor Day sales event. Now save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Hurry, Toyota's Labor Day sales event ends soon.

2:25:48Save thousands with 0% financing on seven popular models. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 9-6-11. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say use some imagination. I mean, roses? Really? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter spa treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Rincon, we get you. After all, life is short, and it should be played or smelled for all it's worth. Harrah's Rincon. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Louis Sanrio Indians. Managed by HCal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars License Company, LLC. After years of being humiliated on the playground. and having your bad hair and thick glasses ridiculed, and mixing plaids with stripes. Who's the nerd now, huh? HelpWantedSanDiego.com invites all IT professionals to post their resumes with us. Local employers are currently seeking to fill IT, sales, programming, and medical jobs. So, nina, nina, nina, Mr. Popular. HelpWantedSanDiego.com. Long name, amazing results.

2:27:12If you're thinking about getting healthier, it always helps to have a buddy. But your buddy doesn't have to be a buddy. It could be Darnell or a Jose. It could be a Raymond or a Jorge. It could be a Stavros. You just say something like, hey, Stavros, would you mind if I joined you on your run tomorrow morning? Most likely he'd love the company. Your workout buddy could be just about anybody. It could be a Tracy. It could be a Lisa. It could even be Carla or Keisha or Maria. Why not invite all three of them out for lunch, where you all get something light and healthy and split the dessert? Because you know you want to. And who says you only have to have one buddy? You could go running with Stavros and lunching with Tracy and Carla and Maria. You could do Pilates with Beth. You could lift weights with Andreas. You and Julio could quit smoking. The list goes on and on. The more you and your buddy help each other, the more you help yourself. Because at Kaiser Permanente... We think that working together is the best way to thrive. Find your buddy at kp.org slash thrive. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back.

2:28:32Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one in four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's. The simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours. This report, it's brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. With Wawanisa's recent change in car rates, many San Diego good drivers could save even more by switching. Wow. Call 877-Wawanisa or go to WawanisaUS.com. Okay, it looks like Escondido Deer Springs Road at the 15, an accident there. It's partially blocking lanes. In Vista on the 78 eastbound before Emerald Drive, an accident on the right shoulder, a semi-truck and a car. And the 5 southbound at Via De La Valle, we've got an accident on the right shoulder. It's two cars, but a tow truck is on the scene.

2:29:44This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. When you spin, you win. Every Wednesday through November 16th, you could win a share of $300,000 in guaranteed cash prizes. One lucky spin wins you $1 million at Saquon Casino. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. She did. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. Come on, man. On FM 94.9. So Jerry Brown went through about 600 bills to sign her veto. What a job. What a beating. What a beating. I wouldn't want to be a governor. The only reason I want to be president is for Air Force One and the food. Isolate. That's true. Take a shark sandwich, please, with some chips. Right now. Ew. Right now. Right now. Let's see. First, let's get our people for Mikey Morning Quarterback now to talk about these laws. I forgot. I forgot. M1 Erroneous from San Diego. Who do you want? That's a good choice. Yeah, it is. She's undefeated. Yeah. And then M1 Sticky Fingers from San Diego. You have Jay, okay? Okay. Hang on. Lucky. Here are some of the laws that are going to be new for California. First of all.

2:31:44Minors now are allowed to get preemptive treatment for STDs without parental consent. People 18 years old and younger can't go into tanning beds. By the way, Jay, are you okay with the STD thing? Yes, absolutely. Okay. Tanning beds. Immigrant students, illegal immigrants can apply. for state-funded college financial aid. What's the rationale? Well, I read it, and there's a lot of hoops to jump through before you get it. To me, it seemed like it was more just a thing to make it sound like the governor is very, you know, apologetic to illegals. But to me, I'm like, when I'm reading what you have to be in order to qualify, I'm like, well, who's that guy? Right.

2:32:52Sorry, I don't care what nationality you are. If you're here illegally, you shouldn't have access to anything. Yes. Yeah, I mean, it's just not fair. How do you commit a crime? You're not paying taxes. Well, I mean, how are you allowed to commit a crime? Right. And then benefit? Yeah. How? It should be that you're allowed to fill out the application and then ha-ha, snag, that's how we got you. Yeah. Tricked you back to Mexico. Or wherever you came from. I'm talking to you, Canadian. You're talking to you, Mikey. I'm just kidding. I'm talking to you, Canadian. I'm just kidding. Everyone. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for an illegal alien. My grandma was an illegal alien. But, you know, I don't know that that makes it right just because it's my situation. We all have relatives that were possibly illegal aliens at one time. Well, a lot of them were legal immigrants. Some of them were. I guess a lot of them were. What do I know? Some of them. Well, yeah, Woods. I mean, a lot of people came to Ellis Island and did that whole bit. But then there were people like my grandmother that came here illegally. Now, that doesn't mean that, you know, it's right. So I wonder if we can deport you. Yeah, I was thinking. Is it too late? What's the Statue of Limitations? Statue.

2:34:08Yep. Car seats. Kids have to be in a car seat now. Till they're 16. Till they're 8. Oh my gosh. Till they're 5'7". Till they're 8. Wow! Till they're 8. Are you kidding me? 8! Or 4'9". Mikey, you gotta be in a car seat. Same in that one. Big car seat. I was hoping you'd get to that car seat. Heard it on the news and just put it in my wallet. I texted it to myself. Yeah. Don't forget, Jay. Wait for that car seat announcement from Mike. And then just nail his ass to the wall, man. Stick him to that booster and then stick a knife through it. How hard is it to drive from that, Mikey? Is it hard? Can you reach the pedals in the booster seat is what he's asking. Jay, I tie a broomstick to the bottom of my shoe. How about this one?

2:35:09No more sale of shark fins. Dang it. Oh, dude. I don't even know what that means. Don't you? Does it mean... You shark fin... Lover. Lover salesperson, you know, importer. You have a shark fin in your bag. Yeah. Catching sharks. On the weekends, L.O.B. is just out there at the bazaars. I wasn't even sure if it meant sail like S-A-I-L. Like, are people sailing with shark fins? I don't even know. Catch them, cut them off, and then sell them. Her mind works in a very different way. They're stretching them out? Yeah, they stretch them. Yeah. They take shark fins. Hacksaw? Yeah. And they put them on a boat and you sail with them. And people are sick of it. Yeah. No. Cell phones. They are now raising the fines for driving while talking or texting on handheld devices. Not me. You do talk, Woods. I got earphones now. I haven't talked since... I haven't talked on my cell phone without my earphones in three weeks. It was 160 for my ticket when I got caught. I don't want to say mine was 240. Texting. I've never had one. Oh, texting is worse? No, no, no. Speeding. It's completely different. Not even near. I got an MIP once. Yeah, great. Mine are in possession. They said also, if you get it a second time, moving violation. Really? Yeah. What does that mean?

2:36:33That means it's like points against you. It goes on your record. Oh, great. You get enough points, you can get your license revoked, insurance goes up. Helmets when you're skiing. Good. It requires those under 18 to wear helmets on the slopes. Right on. What? What do you think, L.O.B.? Not fair? Fair? It's a life-safe. Hey, you said earlier. I guess. I do know a kid that hit a train. Ask Sonny Bono if he had a helmet on. I know. I remember that Kennedy guy. Yeah, that. Kennedy guy. That's another one. I don't think the helmet would have saved him. He wanted a bullet. No, it was a different Kennedy. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. A lot of death in the Kennedy. Woods, listen, I don't mean to call you out on the air or anything, but wearing a helmet wouldn't help because a bullet goes right through a helmet. I believe he was flying a plane, so it's like by the time it landed. Everybody got a word? I think he was drunk driving. He crashed into the Chappaquiddick. Helmet wouldn't have helped. Helmet won't help. He didn't die. Somebody else did. Well, yeah, but all right. Wear a helmet. It ain't going to help. It's a different Kennedy. It was one of the Kennedys that died skiing, I believe. You talking about Bobby then? Oh, that definitely helmet would not have. Bobby was shot. Woods, in fact, that's almost a little tacky because Sir, Sir, Sirman, Sirhan. Sirhan, Sirhan. Yeah. Yeah, he got him.

2:38:03Let's ask Jackie O if a helmet would have helped. Oh, wait. We can't ask her either. Jay, sometimes family tragedy is just not funny. About a trunk dance. What's a trunk dance? Think about it. More of a trunk crawl. Oh, what Jackie did? Yeah, it was more of a crawl. Trunk dance out there in Dallas. That's hardcore, Jay. It's like she was playing a game of... Jax. Yeah. Gathering things up. More of a puzzle. Power on it. Jax. More of a puzzle. Somebody just wrecked their car. Somebody just drove off the road. We really took that one far, huh? Yeah, he did. Mommy, what is he talking about? Nothing. Nothing. You'll find out American history. American history. Then you'll laugh. Look forward to that. Here's the last one. Pet microchips.

2:39:12requires that you microchip your pets when they're released from a shelter. And on that. As long as it doesn't hurt. It doesn't. As long as it doesn't hurt. We do plenty of stuff to them that hurts. Yeah, Mike Vick lover. You love Michael Vick. I don't love Michael Vick. No, but we do plenty of stuff that hurts. Like what? Like when we declaw them. I don't declaw anyone. No, you shouldn't declaw. I thought you have L.O.B.'s declaw. No. World of declaw. It's L.O.B.'s mobile declawing. It's mobile. It's just a side business. It's just a side business. Yeah, it's just a side business. L.O.B.'s mobile declawing. Hello, I'm L.O.B. for L.O.B.'s mobile declawing service. And then I sell the claws on the black market. To witches. You make necklaces out of them. To witches. Witches grind them up and they use them as powders and potions. Jay's dog eats them. Witches be crazy. Witches be crazy. Lauren, it's me again. I need 700 cat claws, please. You got it. L.O.V.'s mobile decline. All right. It's time to do this. Let's play.

2:40:28Oh, yeah. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed today. I'll tell you that. We should isolate that. Mikey Morning Quarterback. Are you ready? Sure. All right. I begin this week. Yes. Yeah, Lauren starts. All right. Oh, boy. How many times have we played? I don't know. Not enough. I think this is like the seventh. Whatever. I know where you're going with this. I know we're on an odd number. It's either the seventh or the ninth. I think it's the seventh. Jay has never won. I've never even come close to winning. 6-0. Maybe today's your day. Yeah, I am very slow on the uptake today. All right. M1 Erroneous is on the line. He has LOB picked and Sticky Fingers has Jay. First question, LOB. All right. What is it called when a defensive player tackles the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage? A blitz. Incorrect. It's called a sack.

2:41:26Jacef R. Isbell. Holy cow. He'd have gotten that one. Yes. Well, I can start yelling out his answers, too, if you want me to. I waited until you got it wrong. I'm just kind of surprised. I'm going to start doing that, too. All right, Jacef. Yes. What's another common term for a football? For instance, let's go throw the blank around. Pigskin. Oh. Holy. My gosh. How? Okay. It's one nothing. He doesn't ever. Never gets it. Almost no. Almost no matter what the question, he says Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning. You should ask him if football is played on a court or a field. That would be a good question. All right, Ella B. She's being sarcastic. Yes. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Name any. And by any, I mean. Oh, boy. I hate this bit. It makes you look so stupid. It's the worst. It is the worst. Name any head coach in the NFL right now. Today. Now. Any right now. Andy Reid. There you go. That is correct. You can name one, Jay. Identical LLB. Identical LLB. I'm not going to play. I knew it. You ready? Yes. Jay, name any. And by any, I mean now, ever, in the history of, and I mean any linebacker in the NFL.

2:42:56Ever. Ever. From any team ever. In the history of the National Football League. Let's see. Refrigerator Jones. Oh, my gosh. I love you. I love you. He's a goal. He's a goal. Could there be a more racist-sounding wrong answer? Oh, my gosh. Refrigerator Jones. Oh, boy. Jay, I... I believe you're thinking of William the Refrigerator Perry. Oh, there you go. Lineman. Oh. Not a linebacker. Well, I was close. Linebackers. Junior Seau was a linebacker. Lawrence Taylor. The original LT. That's right. That's right. All right, we got one one. Oh, boy. Refrigerator Jones. Refrigerator Jones.

2:43:52Genius. I love his convictions. Yes. Refrigerator Jones. Yeah, Refrigerator Jones. I think I could buy the refrigerator in Orange Juice Jones. All right, you ready? Who's Orange Juice Jones? What is he talking about? Do you stay awake? You never want to sleep after. Ah, man. All right, here we go. Soda pop. L.O.B., what color are the penalty flags for the NFL? Yellow. Correct. Booyah. Two to one. L-O-B. Weird. Jay, what color is the challenge flag in football? Red. Wow! L-O-B? Yes. How many times out? Set. Did you ever go to sleep after the 28th? I'll get you back. I'm not going to know this one. How many times out? Timeouts. How many times out?

2:44:55Smart. Savvy. How many timeouts does a team get in one half? I'm not going to know this one. Three? That is correct. Three to two. No way that was correct. Who won? LLB won. Again. That was close. It was close, Jay. You gave a fight. I got a fight. He did. Gave up a fight. M1 erroneous. L.O.B. She keeps her undefeated thing. That was a close one. 8-0. 8-0. And listen, she's not even feeling it today. She's out of sorts. Half power. She's at half power. Jay was sharp. You got some, Jay. I'm proud of you. Let's see. What do we got? There's a Michael Jackson tribute concert. I'm sorry, Woods. I'm so sorry.

2:46:01To even have to burden you with having to hear my voice. Here is Michael Jackson's kids, Blanket and Prince, talking at his memorial concert in Wales. I want you to welcome to the stage the heirs to the throne, Michael's children. Interesting wording. Prince, Paris, and Blanket Jackson. I forgot about Paris. Come on, make some noise. Or just pod them up, you know, to make it sound like they're making more noise. Blanket is not going to be a tough name to have when you're a teenager. Not at all. I'm sure that'll be really easy. Well, it'll be tough. Teacher will probably have to have Blanket N and Blanket J. Yeah, that's true. So that she can tell them apart. Yeah.

2:47:15happy to be here on this special night to honor our father. Very organic. Extremely organic. From the heart. Sounds like that was not planned. Not at all exploitative. Not at all. Not at all. In other words, we'd never heard their voices or seen their faces until he died. Right. And now they're on Dancing with the Stars pretty much. I'm sure that's what he would have wanted. Yes. By the way, speaking of Michael. Dr. Conrad Murray's trial is going on right now. Manslaughter for administering the drugs to Michael. This is an interview with police that got played in court. Take a listen.

2:48:17To release. I have two questions. Yeah. Number one. What's a bot's room? Number two. Legitimate question. Who the hell's whistling in the background in the middle of a police interview? That's what I want to know. I thought it was recorded in an aviary. Well, I also wanted to know what Confidential was. So, a lot of questions. What? Jugs. No, I came back to his bedside. I was stunned in the sense that he wasn't breathing. Perfectly normal. I took it to the bathroom. So let me get this straight. You're a doctor and you didn't notice that maybe he might have already been dead. No, no. But it's easy to not know. Right. You can know or not know. Have you seen a dead body before? Surely you've seen a cadaver. You've gone to med school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean.

2:49:19But it's hard to tell. There was Star Wars nightlight on. And under this sort of light, hard to discern. What is a cadaver, by the way? A cadaver? I've never heard of a cadaver. That's a body. I've never seen one in medical school. I went to medical school in a mall in the Caribbean. Did you get it online? Online in a Caribbean mall. Online, that would be ridiculous. It would be a hack if you get online. I went to a place in mall. Okay. Used to be a glamour shot. Oh, yeah. So you guys mostly had, like, mannequins and wigs to operate on? No, sadly, no. Cleaned out. That would have been nice. Cleaned out? Yeah, they had a doll. You just had to imagine, I guess. It was a Ken doll. It was a three-week course. Very good. Yeah. Three-week course. A two-and-a-half-week-to-lunch. Very good. Very good. Then three days on. Sounds intense. Yeah, well, you know. 15-minute call schedule. Yeah. 15-minute on, 24-hour, 45-minute off. Yeah. Definitely simulates an actual hospital. Yeah. Michael hired me because I was a bartender. At Fridays, right? At Fridays. I think it was Friendly's, actually. He was a big fan of Friendly's. Friendly's on the East Coast joke. Oh. Friendly's.

2:50:48Friendly is like making a Hardee's joke. Oh, maybe like Chuck E. Cheese then? Chuck E. Cheese, yeah. Chuck E. Cheese, okay. That works. That works. You know? It's like Skyline Chili. Only in Cincinnati. It's funny. I mean, but in Cincinnati, people Peter Pan drive off road. Like an Acme supermarket. Correct. Yeah, like Piggly Freaky Wiggly. Piggly Wiggly. Yeah. Very funny. Or like a brew through. Well, these jokes work. If just not. If we syndicated, yes. Yes. If we. Ah, okay. If we're in Savannah. Yes. Or Rochester, New York. Right. Maybe North Carolina. North Carolina. That joke freaking slay them. Wow. Slay them. Well. But, you know. My mistake, though. You know, it's okay. Hey, listen. I've made my mistake. You make my mistake. Yes. Mine smaller than yours, though. It's a family show. I have to go to the bathroom. When we come back, when we come back, Ella barf. Oh, God, really? Oh, I ain't. Are you doing it? You have to. You guys will like it this time. She says it every time. She says it every time. This is delicious. It's something she's into. It's delicious. Healthy. It's disgusting every time. We'll see what it is.

2:52:20On FM 94.9. Hey, everyone. This is L.O.B., and I want to tell you why right now is the best time for you to try ovation cell therapy. You've heard me talk about the new advanced formula, which is sulfate and paraben-free. leaving your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and softer than ever before. Well, let me give you another reason why you should try Ovation. They are participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October by featuring a special edition pink bottle of their Advanced Formula Cell Therapy with a portion of each purchase going back to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. In addition to these funds raised, the Ovation Nation team is going to be out at the Susan G. Komen San Diego's Race for the Cure on November 6th, held in Balboa Park. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again, because the majority of those companies actually work for the credit card companies.

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2:58:39It's not really news, but... One of the guys that's the big bosses at Fox News just admitted that he hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings. Isn't that why they hire a lot of people? Ain't that why you hired me, Mike? Yeah. Isn't that why Dick Cheney chose her? Yeah, I mean... I mean, what's his name? Tom McCabe. Dick Cheney. Isn't that why Lincoln chose her? Hey, I told you guys, my brain's not working today. You did.

2:59:45Same attitude, Republican, old guy. I love L.O.B.'s strange references. I love it. I love when she's off a notch. Just a notch. I'm off a lot today. What's going on? Were you drinking Chardonnay? No. I haven't slept still from Mikey Todd. You didn't get any good sleep? Yeah, it wasn't good, and I still had to wake up early both mornings. I did something different. I usually go to sleep, wake up at 5. I went to sleep. When I got home at 11, I was too tired to take a shower. Wow. I got right in bed. I was too tired. Too tired. Oh, it felt so good. I was too tired. And I slept from 11 a.m. to 9 o'clock at night. Oh, my gosh. Whoa. I was 11 to 5. I was 11 to 5 just like last year. 8. Watched The Shining. Back to bed. I got up at 9. 8. Weird. Watched TV for half an hour. Went back to bed.

3:00:46I only slept until about 2. 2 in the afternoon? Then I went and served. And then I stayed up until about 10.30 that night. Yeah, then woke up at 2, made love, served. Twice. Took Jasper out to play, came back, built a house, made love, served again. Not served. Half pipe. Not served. Not served. Climbed. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the NBA Labor Talks were back on Sunday night, but... These guys are way off the mark as far as getting together. NBA? NBA. Preseason already done. They're not even going to play preseason. It's already been canceled. And I say good riddance. Dude, here's the thing. I'm like... I mean, I just wonder if... Yeah, I know there is. There are. Don't call. There are. Don't call. Don't write me. Yeah, don't write. Don't call. I know you like the Lakers. Yes. But I just was like... Aren't those people just as crazy about basketball as we are about football? Oh, yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. There are. I don't know them, but they're out there. Also, this was a really funny story this weekend. Tiger Woods was putting at the Fries.com Open on Sunday when a gentleman came out of nowhere and threw a hot dog at him. Let me repeat that. In a bun? In a bun. That's just weird.

3:02:13He goes, tiger, tiger, and throws a hot dog at him. That is like Happy Gilmore. It's exactly like Happy Gilmore. Now, wait. I'm sorry. I just want to be clear here. Did he throw a frank only, or did he throw a frank inside of a bun? All it says here is a hot dog. That is not nearly enough information. Now, the gentleman. And security guards came out, put him on. He was on his face, like on his chest. And they put his hands behind his back. And he said later, listen, I didn't throw it. It slipped out of my hand. It fell out of my hand. What were you trying to do? I was just being demonstrative. I know. I'm so excited. It's Tiger Woods. And then that hot dog flew right out of my hand. I didn't mean to. That is a Woods excuse. I was making a motion like a... Okay, I'll admit it was a perverted motion. Right. And I did it with my hot dog. Right. And the hot dog slipped out of the bun. But why would you do that? I was saying, hey, Tiger. And I was doing the, you know. I know, but what was, I mean, I understand what you were doing. Right. And I understand it's perverted. But in what context does that even fit, Tiger? He didn't do that. He actually made love with a woman. Like, I meant, like, he was the name of the action that I was doing. Like, hey. Oh, like, that's what he is, what you're doing. Yeah.

3:03:39And I realize it's immature and it's perverted, but it didn't mean for the hot dog to actually hit him. Right. Okay. Well, you know what? No harm, no foul. Mike, Tiger actually said, when I looked up, it was already in the air. The bun was kind of disintegrating there. So it was in the bun. He threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods. He's not the get in the hole guy. He's the throw a hot dog guy. Well, let me say this about throw the hot dog guy. Throw the hot dog guy. is the most, and when I say the most, I mean the absolute most spontaneous friend you have. Or drunk friend. He is scary, spontaneous friend. He's the friend that you have that you're walking home from the bar and he says, you want me to poop on the cop car? And you go, no, no, dude. I'll do it, dude. Dare me. And you go, dude, I know you will.

3:04:42I'm saying. I'm doing it. That's me. I'm a little like that. I can be a little like that. Because what happened was, when he went there, he wasn't going to throw that tiger, but he got a hot dog, and it popped in his head, like, I could throw this at Tiger Woods. Yeah. After some seven and sevens, real good. I'm going to freaking throw this at Tiger Woods. He's close enough that I can throw a hot dog. He was probably on Facebook saying, Holy S. I'm so close to Tiger Woods that I could throw this hot dog at him. Do it. One friend. You should do it. You should do it, man. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. What? When Tiger Woods would just throw your hot dog. I'm not throwing my hot dog. You throw your hot dog. I will freaking do it. I know you will, but that's ridiculous when you're kicked out of here. You get arrested. Everyone knows who it was. Yeah. They don't see the hot dog come out of your hand. Everyone knows who it was. Don't throw the hot dog. I'm begging you. Don't throw the hot dog. Tiger. Oh, boy. He's going to throw the freaking hot dog. He's going to throw the hot dog. Oh, God. At least we won't have to deal with him because he'll get kicked out. He's literally lining up for a putt. Hey, by the way, that's when you know you're an alcoholic. Is that when? That's when. That poor guy, one of these days, is going to be in what they call a 12-step meeting. Right. Telling his story. He's going to be like,

3:06:14I pretty much, you know, I knew I hit bottom when, yeah. I threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods. People would be like, sorry? You were at the Fries.com open? That was you? Say again? I sounded like you said you threw a hot dog. I'm going to put the hot dog in the bun. At Tiger Woods? How did you? Like Tiger Woods the golfer? The golfer. Like in high school? Yeah. At the Fries.com open. Like in October? Yeah. When he's in his 12th step, will he have to call Tiger and apologize? Yeah, he would. Make amends. Sorry about that. It'd be hard to get him on the phone. Hello? Hello? Hi, this is Tiger. Sorry I threw the hot dog at you. This is the guy that threw the hot dog at me? Yeah, I'm sorry. I have to do this a bit with my 12th step. A bit. I've got to do apologies or something. Sorry I threw the hot dog. I had to do that, too. I know you did. Yours was for sex, though. Mine's for alcohol.

3:07:14Well, you know. Mine's actually a real bit. I'm actually addicted to alcohol. You just like naked women, which, to be honest with you, who doesn't? I'm kind of in your corner on there. It's not true. I was actually addicted to them. Well, who's not? I mean, everybody likes naked women. Everybody. If you've seen one, you want them all, all right? I didn't have the ability to say no. You do. You have that. Well, Tiger. I didn't have the ability. Didn't you? No, I got to the point where my life had become unmanageable and I could only make love to women. If I saw them, I couldn't stop myself. It's pretty much every man, no? It's called entitlement. No, it's called horny. Yeah, very horny. Yes. Very. Sex camp. How was that? I bet you got some hot leads there. Quit calling it sex camp. It wasn't hot. It's sex camp. Yeah. Did you have intercourse with somebody there? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Sex camp. Go through exercises where you had to point at your nether regions and say, bad. No. Bad. No. No. Would you like to? That's too bad. That would have been my version. No. Do we have to do aloe barf? It's good this time. It is not aloe barf. It looks like cheese. You guys like peanut butter? Yes. It's a peanut butter base. Is it? It is. Organic peanut butter.

3:08:35This is a local company. By peanut butter, she means soybean. No, no, no, no, no, no. Real peanut butter. No soy. No soybean. This is called the Perfect Foods Bar. It's a bunch of healthy siblings in La Jolla. Smells good. And it's called perfect because it is pretty much perfect. It is. It is. It is. So I eat these things. It's like a protein energy bar, and I'll eat a whole one, or sometimes I'll just eat a little half. Gives you energy. And it's sweet. How about a balance bar? No. How about a fudgesicle? There's way too much sugar in that stuff. This is a protein bar. All right, I'm eating it. All right, here we go. Here we go. Try to tell me. Then it hits you. What? The diaper. Diaper? You're crazy. Try to tell me you don't like it. I like it. Oh, I like the way it starts. It tastes like peanut butter. And then what's the aftertaste for you? Chinese food. There is kelp in this. What? There's kelp. Damn it, L-O-P. I knew it. I asked you if there was anything fishy in there. It's kelp. It's delicious. How dare you. Damn it, now it tastes like butter. I eat these things like they're going out of style. It's got kelp in it. It's got a lot of stuff. It's got red bell pepper. What? It's got tomato. What? Okay, do you want to hear everything that's in here? Yes. Let me get sick. Well, everything's organic, but it's peanut butter, honey, dried cranberries.

3:10:06Caca. Brown rice. It's something called caca. Brown rice. Whole egg powder. Good. Flaxseed, sunflower seed, sesame seed, olive oil, pumpkin seed oil. A pint of old Harper. Uh-oh. God forbid you guys eat something good for you. I know. You liked it once until I told you that. What a balance bar. Because a balance bar is just a bunch of sugar. Tiger's milk. This is good. Still not good for you. Yes. Nothing's good for you anymore. I mean, it's not bad for you, but I don't want to crash. This is protein. This is sustainable. I got a freaking Yoplait yogurt, which I love. They're delicious. They taste good, and people are like, oh, it's so bad for you. I'm like, it's yogurt. Can't do anything. Trying to have a little chicken and rice. Oh, it's white rice. You're going to be a pig, you fat pig. You're disgusting. It's not bad for you. Your rice should be black or brown. Although Yoplait is...

3:11:02Pretty much bad for you. It's yogurt. It's sugar. Yogurt aren't all the same. Dude, they make it seem like you're eating a freaking sundae. I might as well. It's better than a sundae. You might as well go all the way with it. Oh, you obese pig. Is that a your play? Oh, wow. Might as well be eating candy. Just eat a Snickers bar. Really? With all the sugar, yeah. Really? God bless. I know. Can't do anything right. Oh, I want to do this too. Let's say that, because that's good. Okay. Three dating cliches that are backed up by science. Number one, you shouldn't have sex on the first date. Science, Holmes. If you're looking for a long-term relationship, it's true. I will challenge, listen, if you do not have sex with the guy that you're dating, I bet he marries you. L-O-B. Oh, my gosh. Too late. Jay just takes a samurai sword that's as thin as a steak knife. And he doesn't slice. He sticks it right into your belly. He likes to point out the obvious. Yes. I already know. Captain Obvious. There's humor in the obvious. You get it, LLB? Because you gave it away. And you ain't married. You ain't got your virginity anymore. Nope. So I guess I'm never getting married. You done giving it away. Uh-huh.

3:12:28I wrapped it up in a bow. Free milk here. Get your free milk. Hey, teat for everyone. Oh, everyone. Number two, women still think the guys should pay for dinner. These are three dating cliches that they actually backed up through science by doing study after study after study. I think that guys should pay. Absolutely. I think guys should pay. In fact, I don't think that ends. I don't think it ends. I don't think it ends during any course of your dating life. What about on his birthday? Oh, yeah. You get to pay for him. I try to pay all the time. Matt won't let me. What about this? When you're married? Yeah, once that's locked up. Well, when you're married, it's all your money. Except for you guys. Except for us. Because you guys don't care about it. Separate accounts. We don't like each other, so. Woods and his wife have separate banking accounts. It works for us, though. It works for you. We don't ever argue about money. And I mean never, never once. Neither do we. We don't. Sometimes we argue about money, but it's not like a big deal. No, but I don't have an allowance, and we just do our thing.

3:13:40I just pay all the bills. She gets to do as she wishes. What's it like over there in Perfectville? There's no animosity. Yeah, it doesn't sound like that. No, I just pay all the bills and she gets her nails done and stuff. Oh, so there's the... Oh, it works out. No, actually, she went yesterday and dropped 180 on groceries. And I was like, cool, have at it. It works. We just take turns. It sounds flawless. It sounds flawless. It is. It works for us. While you're dating a girl... Pay for dinner. Pay for every meal. No question. Well, what if she really wants to? Let her pick up a lunch. If she wants to, if she's begging. If it's been a couple dates and she wants to get the breakfast or lunch. Let her do breakfast or lunch. Never dinner. Never dinner. Yeah, that's a good enough rule. I think I'm too selfish. No, let's say Mike. I genuinely believe I'm too selfish to let her pay. And here's what I mean. I think that my feelings of... inadequacy outweigh her feelings of wanting to give. And I selfishly would be like, no, no, no, please. I would feel so... Wouldn't you think she's just sweet? No, I'd feel emasculated. I'd feel... Really? I want to feel like a dude, you know? It makes me feel like a dude. It's just lunch. I'm not tall. I'm not tall. So because I'm not tall, okay, what can I offer? Humor? Buying meals?

3:15:12What about the tip? What if it's just the tip? Just the tip. Give her the tip. That's always a lie. It's never. Always more than the tip. What if she just wants to get the tip? In Mikey's case, that'd probably be... Oh, wow. What? I've seen... I'm going to hang that microphone. Oh, wow. It's all there is. Oh, no. Asians are like man. Oh, no. Where's the rest of it? That's it? Is that a toe? It's just chapter one, huh? Chapter two. Is that a toe? Is that a toe? What are you doing with your toe? I just blew out a finger in my brain. Oh, wow. That was like a baby's toe. Holy smokes, dude. That was the most emasculating sound so far. Of them all, you know. Thank you. The way he did that.

3:16:18While he was talking about you. Yeah. I love when Jay tells stories through the sound effects. Yes. Let me tell you a story about Mike's anatomy. The end. Oh, gosh. Three dating cliches that are backed up by science. Shouldn't have sex on the first date. Women still think a guy should pay for dinner. And finally, men enjoy casual sex more than women do. Women enjoy casual sex. Casual sex sounds so 80s. Yeah. Who's my casual sex friend? I think it was a movie called Casual Sex. Question. Do women enjoy casual sex outside of alcohol? Will you stop saying casual sex? Yeah. So sex with a guy that they just met at a bar when they sober. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Well, as a, like, when you're alone and you want, like, a booty call.

3:17:23No, no, no, L.O.B. That's not casual sex. Yeah. You know what I define? Because if what you're talking about, you know that person. That's a booty call. Oh, you mean... Casual sex means you met somebody and you went home with them. Sometimes, yeah. Well, it still would be casual, wouldn't it? If you didn't have a relationship with them? Yeah. You should just knock it out. I think of casual as like a... I don't know. We don't even see each other outside of just the bedroom. It's just he's strictly a blank buddy. The blank buddy thing, though, I don't think women... Okay, and you tell me, LB. Please be honest. Okay? All right. Like, you're going to get electrocuted if you're wrong, if you're not telling me the complete honest truth. Okay. Did you ever have one of those that you weren't capable of having feelings for? Yeah, but once I kind of knew that there weren't going to be any feelings, I kind of, like, the other stuff... it was like a turn off like I didn't even want it and I didn't even want the casual part anymore because there was no connection outside of it but that means that when it was casual there was at least in your head a possibility that you could no I didn't want it I didn't want any sort of relationship but the fact that there was no chance to even have a conversation with this person was like I just can't

3:18:51I have to have some sort of substance. But I do think there's just a smaller window for women, at least in my experience and many friends that I've had, where they're willing to be that girl that does the casual thing. I don't think it happens all the time for them. Most of the time, women are wanting a relationship. But there's a small window, either where you get... fed up of men and you're like, I'm so not dating anymore. I'm just going to totally sleep with people. Or you get out of a long-term relationship and you're like, I'm just going to be single and go crazy. So I think it's a smaller window for women that they're willing to do the casual deal. I don't know. At least from my experience and from many friends of mine. Because we just read this thing that said that women fantasize more about food than they do sex. Women have fantasies where they are thinking and fantasizing more about eating really bad for them food, like just fries dripped in gravy and cheese and bad stuff. They'll think about that more than they will imagine sex. That's how you know you're getting old as a guy, too, because it's the same bit. You think of food? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You are out of your mind. Yes, you are.

3:20:08I have guilt now about food. I never did before. Now I have guilt. And so I think I'm like, I will slather myself in freaking Thousand Island dressing. Typical fat guy. It's true. I have fantasies about food now. Like what? Big Macs. I haven't had one in months. Months. But you imagine it. Oh, I can taste it. What it'll taste like as you bite down into those triple layers of bread. Meat sliding down my gullet. Little tiny micro-sized pickle. The little tiny chopped up onions. Little tiny itsy bitsy onions. The chopped up onions are good. I fantasize about food now. He's going to go get one today. 100%. It's already done. It's been months. It's already done. Damn it. Wow. When you talk about it. There's no chance he can get out of it. He is like a crack addict. Yeah. It's true. Giving a taste. Just wanted. As soon as he said the word chopped onions, he was a goner. Done. A Thousand Island. He said that. I believe it happened at Thousand Island. Maybe. You're right. He knew he was getting himself. As soon as he said gullet. Yeah. Meat in his gullet. Not me. I'll be making love, Woods. That's right. That's all I fantasize. Well, I fantasize about Kim. I think it's so sad. Wood, I think it's so sad.

3:21:26That you don't fantasize about sex? I think it's so sad. I do. Just food more. No. I bet you don't. I bet all you fantasize about is hash browns. Unlike me. I can't get the thought of my wife. My nude wife. Nude wife. Sounds real good. If I had a movie and Woods was one of the stars, I'd have like a fantasy sequence where he was just running around in like... Big Mac world. Chocolate sauce. And like Krispy Kreme donut. 100%. I went to the freaking, I went to the CVS yesterday to get, all I wanted was melatonin. So I went, I'm walking by the damn ice cream aisle and I'm like, and I looked at it. And I walk past and I go, well, screw it, it's Sunday. And I walk back and grab some freaking Jerry Garcia out of there. Who's talking to you? Laid there feasting on it, watching TV. That ain't my call out. That food doesn't call out to me. Screaming at me. It's the savories that get me. Salties. French fries, yes. Salties get me. Sweet. I said to Rebecca this weekend, going back to the Jay thing, I go, do you know what may make me laugh more than anything? She said, what? I go, I like to look.

3:22:39Greatest. The I like to look but don't like touching, that makes me laugh so hard. I like to look. And I'm not going to kid with you here, mate. I freaking like touching. I say I don't like touching. Truth is, I would touch it even if it's dead, if it's alive, if it's like cremated. I don't care. I don't care. I could care less. Stuffed. I don't care. I'll touch a mannequin. I'll touch anything. I'll touch it. You know those signs that say do not touch? They had to be made because of me. Because I touch. If I see it, do not touch, I touch. And when I see that sign, you better believe all I'm doing is to touch it. My fingerprints. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought.

3:23:45Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest, supported by VEX. October 22nd, 30th and University, featuring Everest. The Softback. Dead feather moon, the style tones, the creepy creeps, low volts, and the heavy guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest. October 22nd at North Park. For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com. With a change in seasons, it's a good time to be thinking about your health.

3:24:42and the health of others. Right now at Vons during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a portion of the price of participating items will be donated to support breast cancer research. Just look for the special pink ribbon tags. How much of a difference can you make? We've raised over $94 million over the past 10 years. While you're here, help your own wellness by getting your flu shot from the experts in the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll save 10% on your groceries. Here's to wellness. Vons, ingredients for life. Coupon expires one week from issue. Age and other restrictions may apply. See store for details. At Vons this week, get huge Vons Club savings. It's our big cheese event. Buy two cheeses and get one of equal or lesser value free. Choose from brands like Kraft Singles, Lucerne Cheese, and many more selected varieties. Get 10 containers of Yoplait yogurt for only $6. Four to six ounce sizes selected varieties. And don't miss our $1 or less sale. You won't believe what you'll find for under a buck. Exciting savings this week at Vons. Ingredients for life. This is Dan Tullis, and I just called. One of Select Quote Insurance Services' term life agents. Hi, Mr. Tullis. Joel, how does Select Quote save you money on term life insurance? Well, by the time you smoke, companies are going to price that differently. We'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to find you the best price. Can you give me an example? Sure. I just got a man, 40 years old, who takes blood pressure medication, a $500,000 policy with a highly rated insurance company. His price, $21 a month.

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3:28:48But they're not chipping in for gas. So it's your call. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Kelly Blue Book Brand Image Awards are based on the Brand Watch study from Kelly Blue Book Market Intelligence. For more information, visit kbb.com. See dealer for financing details. Hey, everyone. This is L.O.B., and I want to tell you why right now is the best time for you to try ovation cell therapy. You've heard me talk about the new advanced formula, which is sulfate and paraben-free. leaving your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and softer than ever before. Well, let me give you another reason why you should try Ovation. They are participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October by featuring a special edition pink bottle of their Advanced Formula Cell Therapy with a portion of each purchase going back to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. In addition to these funds raised, the Ovation Nation team is going to be out at the Susan G. Komen San Diego's Race for the Cure on November 6th, held in Balboa. Park. Join them by signing up today at ComanSanDiego.org. Log on to OvationHair.com now and get your special edition pink bottle of the Advanced Formula Cell Therapy and don't forget to select FM949 at checkout and you'll get a special introductory rate. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget FM949 for your special rate. Scream if you can.

3:30:08Because when your throat is choked with fear, you may struggle to blurt out a silent scream or a really loud one. It's the familiar sound of Halloween in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds, where you come every year to face your fears, confront your demons, in a manner of speaking. And this Halloween, the last sound you hear may be your own or theirs in the Scream Zone. The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone now through Halloween. Climb aboard the Haunted Hayride or enter the House of Horror or the Chamber. Three terrifying ways to scare the life out of you. For hours, tickets, and information, visit thescreamzone.com. Now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be. Woods. That's why I don't eat that. funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Cosby. Isn't it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad. On FM 94.9. I guess the only reason I wasn't in on docking when I was in high school is I didn't really know about docking because when I hear it I'm like, oh, that's alright. I just didn't know. You know? I didn't know. French kiss many a girl to this song, my friend. Many. I did not. To any song.

3:32:14You ever just a chubby 50s guy for Halloween? Look at how fat you are. So in other words, the jeans that you wear every day, and your dad's white t-shirt because you fit in it, and you roll the sleeves up, and you roll up your, you cuff your jeans that you wear every day, and then you just wear like regular shoes. Put a comb in your back pocket. Yes. Hey, look at me. It's the most ghetto, sad, fat outfit. Big tattoo. Mom. With a heart. Yeah. Yeah, with lipstick. Washable marker. Crayola. The El Cheapo parents on Halloween kill me. They slay me. My parents were El Cheapo on Halloween. Yes. Big time. My dad. There's a picture. I'll bring it in. Dude, you know what? You just gave me a brilliant bit idea. We have to have M1s send us, from when they were kids, their ghetto Halloween costumes. Yeah, your El Cheapo parents are like, listen, I work 40 hours a week. I'm not going to screw around getting you an expensive costume. There's a picture of me. I am in a suit, like black pants and a black shirt. There's a cape tied around my neck. A cape? There's a cape. I think it was actually a real cape. It was like a dollar. Then I have a Dracula mask on. And it's not a mask.

3:33:41Cloth. It was a cloth mask. Do you know what I'm saying? It was like a sock. It was like a big cloth mask. And you don't wear, you either wear a rubber mask or you wear like the plastic mask when you're a little kid. I don't know. It was cloth. Halloween for me was going through the checkout stand at Safeway. And in aisle nine where they sell People magazine, they also sold Halloween costumes. Right next to People Magazine. And it was $4.99. Came in a plastic bag. And it was like a jack-o'-lantern plastic face with an elastic string and an orange vinyl cape. That was the same material that they give you when you go to a seafood restaurant and you don't want to get the, it's the bibs. It's the lobster bib. The lobster bib. It's the same material that this cape was made out of. Ghetto. So ghetto. And this, you know it's a ghetto outfit when people say, what are you? There's nothing worse to a child than to walk up to a door, ring the doorbell, and they open the door.

3:35:05And they say, oh, what are you? I'm Pumpkin Man. I'm Dolly Parton. Oh, that's so cute. I thought you were a lady. Yeah, I'm Dolly Parton. You can see I stuffed a bunch of socks in my mom's shirt. That's so cute. You look like a lady. I'm Dracula. Oh, I thought you were Eddie Munster. You have a cloth mask. Oh, you have a sock on your head. Yeah, I'm a ghost. I'm a scary ghost. I'm a hobo. Yeah, I'm a hobo. Oh, the hobo. I'm wearing my dad's. I was a hobo for about five years in a row. Gosh darn. I was a hobo punk rocker slash like we had a rotating devil and angel costume in my family. Even I didn't know what I was for a few holidays. My mom just started throwing stuff on me that she could find. Just throw stuff on you? Yeah, from around the house. And then face paint just slapping on. Yeah.

3:36:09eight kids and you're the eighth and they're just like, oh. Really? You're going to do this bit too? The Halloween bit? You want to go to Halloween? Oh, for God's sake. Or you're in the middle and you just wear. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. But Carly was a devil last year. No one's going to remember. No one will remember. You go to the Halloween parade at school. Mrs. Funston's like, hey, wasn't Carly a devil last year? Oh, my gosh. It almost looks like Carly's outfit. Yeah, you can see where the hole is that my mom sewed it. Oh, no, I was noticing that it said Carly's outfit. Oh, you mean on the inside of the tag. You can see that still. Yeah, your mom had written Carly's outfit. Pink stitching still looks okay on a Red Devil costume, right? Holy cow. Oh, moms with their sewing machines. That's the best, I think. And they're opening drawers and finding stuff to make you wear. And you don't want to wear it. But you have to dress up for school. And you're like, I don't want to be a pirate with a fake iPad. Yeah. And then you're out Christmas night. And you're seeing the kids that had Lucas come over with industrial light and magic. Halloween night. He said Christmas. Or Halloween night. Flash forward. You're going to Halloween night. And there's other kids.

3:37:24And they're like fully done. Full Chewbacca. Full Chewbacca. They've got working buttons on their costumes. They're Ghostbusters with the pack, with the gun that pulls off. They're shooting out like silly string from their Ghostbusters pack. Yeah, they look at you and they're like, look at that dick. I would rather have the homemade outfit. It means that your mom loves you more. Does it? Yeah, it's easy for anybody to go out and spend 50 bucks. It's more fun if your mom takes the time to sew you a spider outfit. See, I think it's more fun to not get your ass kicked. Yes, and made fun of. Made fun of. Yes. to be ridiculed at school all day. Hey, look at Pumpkin Man's here. Hey, Pumpkin Man. Hey, Mike, you're a greaser, huh, from the 50s? That's cool. I don't think it matters what you dress as. Look at the Thunderbird. Hey, Mike, when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way, pal. I'm Danny Zuko. I'm not a jet. You're a jet.

3:38:24Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949Mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four. Slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip.

3:39:28Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one in four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's. The simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours. October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after. Do you run? You want to feast on something? And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that.

3:40:41That's fearlessraces.com. New Toyota vehicles are arriving daily, and so are the great deals during Toyota's Labor Day sales event. Now save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2011 Camry, America's best-selling car. Get zero APR when you drive off in a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even 0% financing on a new 2011 Venza, Highlander, or Tundra. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Hurry, Toyota's Labor Day sales event ends soon. Save thousands with 0% financing on seven popular models. Camry sales claim based on MotorIntelligence.com CY 2010 sales. Excludes hybrid models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 9-6-11. Hey, it's Mikey for AIS. Summer's over and that means it's back to school time.

3:41:48That means more drivers in the road. You got more traffic and buses and stuff like that. Or maybe you're getting a new car. Maybe you're a student driver. You're going to school. For all those reasons, you need to call AIS. They'll make sure that you have good coverage and that you're not overpaying. Now, you're asking yourself, how do they do it? They shop dozens of insurance companies to find the best rates for you. Plus, they've got great discounts for you. They've got good driver discounts up to 20% off. They've got multiple policy discounts up to 15% off. All of this stuff equals the fact that the average person is saving $500 a year on their auto insurance when switching to AIS. So there's no reason to keep putting it off. Over 400,000 drivers rely on AIS. For their auto insurance, find out why. Call the auto insurance specialists today. 1-800-777-4AIS or go to AISinsurance.com. With a change in seasons, it's a good time to be thinking about your health and the health of others. Right now at Vons during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a portion of the price of participating items will be donated to support breast cancer research. Just look for the special pink ribbon tags.

3:42:58How much of a difference can you make? We've raised over $94 million over the past 10 years. While you're here, help your own wellness by getting your flu shot from the experts in the Vons Pharmacy. No appointment necessary, and you'll save 10% on your groceries. Here's to wellness. Vons, ingredients for life. Coupon expires one week from issue. Age and other restrictions may apply. See store for details. At Vons this week, get huge Vons Club savings. It's our big cheese event. Buy two cheeses and get one of equal or lesser value free. Choose from brands like Kraft Singles, Lucerne Cheese, and many more selected varieties. Get 10 containers of Yoplait yogurt for only $6, 4 to 6 ounce sizes selected varieties. And don't miss our $1 or less sale. You won't believe what you'll find for under a buck. Exciting savings this week at Vons. It's Jerome's 57th anniversary. And to celebrate, I've designed an all-new anniversary mattress that's unbeatable with premium features like pocketed springs, perimeter foam encasement, luxurious four-way stretch fabric, and a comfortable European pillow top with layers of premium Ecoflex plush foam. And at my Jerry's price of $5.99, it's a value you won't find anywhere else. Imagine a queen-size pocketed spring mattress for just $5.99. Buy it online right now at Jerome's.

3:44:11With $100,000, you don't just make it rain. You cause a Category 5 cash storm. On October 30th, Harris Ring Con is giving away up to $10,000 every half hour from 11 a.m. to 3.30 p.m. And at 5 p.m., $50,000 for a total of $100,000 cash. Just swipe your total rewards card and play. Harris, come out and play. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. Tell me, what did the world look like to you when you first opened your eyes? And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. You don't skimp on hair products. You don't skimp on haircuts. You don't skimp on DJs, designer jeans. And you don't skimp on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. Hey, thank you, M1 Callback. M1 Callback.

3:45:37Did these incredible portraits of the Mikey show that will be hung proudly in Studio M. She is very talented. Very, very talented. Very, very, very talented. Very, very, very, very talented. Super, super, super talented. Okay. I think we get it. Talented times infinity. Got it. No, they can't go further. Anna Faris and her husband are in trouble because they tweeted something that upset people. Upset me. Very much. Well, here's the deal. She's married to Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt's on this NBC show Parks and Recreation. Oh, yeah. I like him. Well, they got a cat and then they tweeted that they were going to need to find a new home for the cat. And the reason that they were was because the cat was old and incontinent. And they got death threats. What? Death. That's a little extreme. Well. That was an overreaction. Yeah, minus the little. But. Anyway. Just put it in the backyard. Well, Jay, that wouldn't solve the problem of having a cat. You know, the cat would. Sure, it's called coyote food. But they live in the city. They live in New York, you know. Yeah, you know, when it gets too old, you just get rid of it. When it gets sick or something, you just get rid of it. That's what you do.

3:47:11You have this cat that's going to the bathroom all over your house. Get a diaper. Yep. Yeah. I'm going to change a cat's diaper. I've seen cats in diapers. So have I. We've had our dogs in diapers. So have I. Hey, you know what? When it's too much of a hassle for you, just give it away. Yeah. It's no big deal. See, I hear you say that, and I think, there you go. No. Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. If it's going to go to a more loving home. Isn't that appropriate? No, because you're the home that should be loving because it's your cat. Okay, so it's not a frigging baseball card. When people get old and they can't take care of themselves any longer, you put them in a nursing home. Right. Is that cruel? No. Why don't you take care of them? They're yours. Because I don't know how to take care of them. I don't know how to take care of a cat. Yeah, you do. You know how to take care of a cat. You've kept the cat for 15 years. I won't go that far. I won't even go that far. I'll say it's a nuisance. I got this cat.

3:48:10What I didn't realize is that the cat was going to be incontinent, that the cat was going to... I didn't realize. It's for better or for worse. I never married the cat. I didn't marry the cat. You did. I did not. You adopted that cat. I adopted the cat, which means that I paid for the cat. I went in there. I adopted the cat. I got it shot. I did all the stuff. Got it home. Realized... This is not the right. Now, wait a minute. You guys are equating animals to humans, though, which is something that you two never do. Well, I do. I'm telling you, even if Kim starts pooping around the house, I'm kicking her out, okay? Well, I wouldn't kick it out. I would find a home. I guess we all know where we stand. Yeah, with Jay. Don't get sick. I wouldn't kick it out, Woods. I wouldn't kick it out. I would find a good home. He had a good home. He had your home. That was a good home. But my home is not a good home. It was always a good home. That's why he lived there. No, no, no. Listen, my home is a bad home because I don't want the cat. Wouldn't you rather be... Wait, wait, wait. You tell me the truth. Wouldn't you rather the cat be with an owner that wants...

3:49:08No? I couldn't imagine. It wouldn't happen with us. I mean, that's what I'm saying. It would not happen in my house. You want something cute and cuddly and fun. Yeah, in their prime. Just make sure to get pets in their prime. You signed up for the life of pets. Exactly. The cuddle life. Again, Woods is being sarcastic, but I could take that quite literally. Yeah, what Woods says? No, that is terrible. Only in their prime. What's there past that? Oh my goodness. Well, listen, if a cat starts to poop around the house and stuff. You know, first of all. It would suck, but it wouldn't suck at all. What really gets me is that if it were a human, nobody would have a problem if I said, you know, listen, my dad, he's pooping around the house and stuff. Like, no, no, no, no, you guys don't understand. What about a child? Wait, wait, wait. You adopted him. I'm comparing apples to apples. This is a old incontinent cat. You don't choose your parents. It's an old incontinent cat. If my dad, if I said to you guys, you guys, my dad. I'd say you got to put him in a home. Depends. I would say you got to put him in a home. I'm not putting depends on my dad and having him run around the house. No, I'd say you got to put your dad in the home. Yeah, let's just put people away so we don't have to see them. Don't we? No. They're being cared for.

3:50:26Your cat, you brought that cat into your home and you cared for that cat. Bad fit. It's not a bad fit. You had it forever. Not only is it a bad fit. It's 17 years of a good fit. He's surely worn out. He's worn out. What if we put him to sleep? Yeah, I'm going to put him down. No. No. So you say, I suffer with him. Yeah, man. I don't want him. He's been there unconditionally for you. Too bad. They've been there unconditionally for you. You shouldn't have become a pet owner if you couldn't stick it out. You couldn't stick it out. Too many people get rid of dogs and stuff after they're not cute puppies anymore. And then they want a new puppy. Monsters. Because they want to show it off to their friends. It's an accessory. Yeah. He's turned into tennis strings now. I'm going to take him to the factory and turn him into tennis strings. What are tennis strings? You use the cat gut? They don't use cat gut for tennis strings, do they? They use nylon. Cat gut. No. Well, I grew up on a farm. We used cat gut for tennis strings. It's the only way we could play tennis. We didn't have cats. Couldn't have played. Challenge you to a game of tennis. To cat gut tennis. Tennessee. Way on back to Tennessee. Tennessee, Tennessee. I like Anna Faris, too. I don't. She's the worst actress. She's cute. Why doesn't she be in another parody movie? Don't attack her career just because she doesn't want her cat.

3:51:49I like her. It's because she's got an incontinent cat. Oh my gosh. She's funny, dude. I'm so scared right now. The face. If you can see the face. She has some awesome faces. The faces. Jay's on board. Yes. It's a good Anna Faris. Thank you. Gosh, man. If the cats go into a great home, who cares? A dog's going to a nice home. Who's going to give it a great home? Somebody that really loves them. They put it on Craigslist. Who specifically wants an incontinent cat? They put it on Craigslist, Mike. That's a good question, L.O.B. Who wants an incontinent cat? Sex pervert. That's a great question. Who specifically wants an incontinent cat? No one. You want the cat for the life, the whole lifespan. Yeah, you get them from the beginning to the end. You know what? If Anna Faris and Chris Pratt kept their incontinent cat... and cared for it night and day, they're not better people than me. No, they're called pet owners. Yeah, they absolutely are better people. In fact, they're the definition of better people. Nah. When a dog is like that, you take it hunting for its last hunt. You take it hunting. I don't know where he went. Could you put a bullet in your dog's head? If it was time. If it was time. Who decides when it's time? I do. I'm the damn, I'm his god.

3:53:14I'm his vet. I'm his vet. You dramatic? Gosh. So dramatic. I'll do the same for you guys. He's putting him out of his misery. Yes. Putting him out of his misery. Poor thing. Just giving the unconditional love for 17 years. That's right. Hey, you pooed on my carpet. Get him out of here. Hey, babe, will you get the Craigslist up? Can you put an ad out for the stupid cat? I know we've had his poop sitting in a box for the past 17 years, which there's nothing wrong with that, but now there's poop on the floor. He just pooed on our route. It's everywhere. Oh. Right in the middle of your bed. So easy. Right on your bed. On your pillowcase, you come home. I got seven dogs, pal. I live cleaning up poop. Dude, diaper. I want to see you change a cat diaper. I don't have cats. I stepped in a turd this morning. This morning I stepped in a turd on the way to the bathroom. They're not spraying the dough all over the place. No, but they do, and they have. And Penny Bell gets a little... Incontinent? Yeah, and it sprays. And I walk in, and I go... And I clean it up, and I throw it in the washer. Well, you know what, St. Wood? Fair enough. He is a responsible pet owner. That's right. Love my pets.

3:54:23Need my piss. 570-1949. Where do you see Hillary? Hillary, what do you think of my new hairdo? Oh, God. Well, Woods said if we raised over $25,000 for Rady, he would shave his head into a fryer's cut. It's true to his word. Good for you. It's awesome, isn't it? Isn't it the worst? You can't get worse. Woods was wondering, why did they ever start? Why did they do that? What was the thought process? I'm sure there's a good explanation. Wikipedia. Sure, and then one will tell me. 570-1949. Hey, if you didn't hear, Mikey Welsh, who's the former bassist for Weezer, died at 40 years of age. Sad, man. And they don't know why. Drugs.

3:55:20Well, they said the cause of death was not immediately known. Maybe now it is known. I read yesterday overdose. That's what I read. The first article I read. I haven't read exactly why, but he was in a Chicago hotel room when he died. And this is eerie. I guess a week or two, a couple weeks ago, he tweeted, I had a dream that I died in Chicago of a heart attack. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. I wonder if you can. Have a premonition like that. I bet you can. How horrible, though. Ask Anna Faris' cat. Oh, and then this was another huge story today we were going to lead with, but Ryan Adams, singer-songwriter Ryan Adams, who quit music two years ago. Yeah, had the ear disease. Who had the ear disease, got a new album called Ashes and Fire. Coming out tomorrow. And it comes out tomorrow. It's supposed to be his best in years. Best stuff, I think, probably since cuts like a knife or everything I do, I do it for you. Oh, my God. It's my nightmare. But. Welcome to my nightmare. But. It's a good article. I brought it for you. You should read it. And frankly, you should have let off the show with it today. I'm a little disappointed that you didn't. No, I'm just reading off the first page. It's one out of five pages of the story.

3:56:47Read. Good read. And I will be there. Good read. You should cuddle up before you go to sleep and read that. Yeah, I understand. It's a sold out show. I understand that he sold out The Washmans, which is a tiny little, it's a four person taco eatery. If I understand, it's called The Washmans. It's Balboa. It's Balboa Park. He's going to do, is it Balboa Park that he's playing? What's it called? Balboa Theater? Balboa Theater. Yeah, Feast on That. Yeah, my favorite. Yeah. Probably my favorite is Heaven. Finding it hard to believe. It's a different singer with a different name. Brian Adams. What are you in that Robin Hood movie? Yes. No, the Brian Adams you're talking about did. Oh, you did the soundtrack. How rad would it be, though, if Ryan Adams busted out with Cuts Like a Night on a show? Oh, I love it. I would love him even more. At no point a manager goes, Ryan, I know it's your name. I know it's your name. I get it. But there's a freaking Brian. It sounds too similar. Go by Ryan Kaczynski. Yes. What's your middle name? What's your middle name? Edward? Ryan Edwards. There you go. But if we call you Ryan Adams, everyone's going to think it's Brian Adams.

3:58:06What do you got coming up, Hill? I grabbed some local bands, Switchfoot, Pinback. I'm going to play Telekinesis, who are playing Guildfest as we celebrate the FM 94.99th anniversary. And recommended new music from a band who met on a Greek island and are now based in Los Angeles. That's pretty soon. And it's really good. I know that you're Brittany Tears. I know that's your real name. Britney Tears. But it sounds so much like Britney Spears. Britney Spear. Britney Spear. Britney Spear. Someone needs to start a band and name it Britney Spears. Britney Spears. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll come back tomorrow at 6 to do it again. The Mikey Show's out.