The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/12/11

0:09Mm-hmm. Fall's in the air. I think fall is in the air. A little chilly driving in. Although, today is going to be a hot one, they say. Very warm in San Diego today. I heard 92 by where I live. Seriously? I'm dead. I don't have AC. I'm going to die. Let's see. I don't think you're going to die. Says 82 here in San Diego today, but I think it's going to be a lot warmer than that. I ain't buying an 82. Hey, let me know if anybody was able to get iOS 5 today. iTunes did an update. And I updated. Then I plugged my phone in. Nothing. Really? Nothing new. I was really sad. I was saddened. Is it select people? No. No. It's supposed to be today. Although Apple hasn't said that. You know.

1:24Apple hasn't necessarily said that, but it's a well-known thing that today's the day. It makes sense because iTunes did update itself today. It said, and here's why, because iOS 5 is coming, blah, blah, blah, and you need to have this new iTunes. Okay, cool, I did it. And I thought, oh, that means as soon as I plug my phone in, iOS 5 will go on there. Well, it didn't. And I was bummed. iOS 5 is going to let you text message on your iPad. iOS 5 is going to let you... look at your photographs on your iPad on your TV in your living room. iOS 5 is going to let you turn your phone on and take a picture immediately. You turn it on, turn your phone to the side, and use the volume button to go. Yeah. Isn't this the thing, too, where you said if you download a song, it goes everywhere. It goes everywhere. That is something. iCloud is out with it. iCloud is a part of it.

2:25I used to have to pay $100 a year for that service. Right. Now it's free. I've got like 6,000 songs on my iPod and in my iTunes. You know how many songs I have on my phone? Well, wait a minute. That's different. Oh, boy. I know. Oh, boy. Hang with me here. If you bought them on iTunes, you're good to go. Most of them I did. Well, not most of them, but a lot of them I did. If you bought them on iTunes, you're good to go. If they came from your own personal collection of CDs that you put into your computer and... you know, put them on your iTunes, then you pay a service fee, and they will allow you to have those albums, and they do you one better. They use their version of it, which is better quality than yours. Why do I only have one song on my telephone? Let me see it. Okay. And I will show you why. Well, and see, all I know is that I... I paid for a service that's going to be available to everybody today that has an iPhone. And so maybe you don't because you haven't paid for it. But today you'll be able to. I'm all the way in. Yeah. So that means that you download a song on your phone and it shows up at home. All the way in. That's incredible. Yeah. What if you've never paid for a song? Ever. Ever.

3:49That guy will not pay for music, man. Then that means you hate musicians. Yes. Nope. Here's the deal, Jay. Here's the deal. Let's say that you got CDs from work and you downloaded them onto your iTunes. All you got to do is pay this fee. Boom. It's like 20-some bucks a year, and it will take all of those, and it'll actually replace them with better quality versions. Wow. Yeah. I need you to get me dialed in with the iPhone and getting music over. I need you and updating it in the computer. Every time I update it in my computer, it wipes out all my contacts. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, I can show you. It's very easy. Yesterday, my wife, it took her forever, but she had to admit to me. She said to me, I need your help. And I said, OK. And she said, I think you'll probably be mad. And I just didn't say anything because I don't want to say. No, I won't be mad. Because you might be. Might be. Might be. She said, since I've got my phone, I've never plugged it into the computer. And I said, oh, why? She goes, because when I do, it asks me this question. I don't know. And I'm like, well, what's the deal? She goes, well, I also run the battery down until it's on the red.

5:25L.O.B. just looked at me and shook her head. Yeah. Standard operation. I do. Both of those things. Standard operation. And I said, how come? Oh, my gosh. I am so, I have, you know, I'm, and then, and the plugging it in, and oh, gosh. And I, it's, all of it is so, such a bother. It's exasperating. It's exasperating. It's a bother. It's just, it's a nuisance. Every time you plug the phone into the computer, your programs pop up. Your iPhoto and your iTunes. And I'm like, get, I don't, oh, great. Now you, okay, go ahead, load. Can I, I'll be the computer and I'll talk to you. Get mad at me and I'll talk to you. Oh, no, so, hey, I just wanted to use the computer to charge the phone. Why are you popping up? Because, Lauren, you took some pictures on your phone and I'd love to put them on the computer for you. Let me manually do it. I don't want everything. You know how many duplicates I have out there? Now, there is a button you can check. Okay, let me still be the computer. Oh, that's cool, Lauren. There's a button you can check that it'll only do it manually. Why is it so hard to find that button? It isn't. It's super easy. In fact, I'll tell you where it is right now. Every time you plug me in, every time you plug your phone into me,

6:47On your iTunes, you're going to see on the left-hand side, it says Lauren's phone. If you click on that, the very first thing that you're going to see is some choices to make. And one of those choices is manually add photos, music, only when I check market, all these different options to make it very easy. See, I want to be your friend. I want to help you. I want to make life easier. I don't want you to be upset with me. Why don't you ask me before you start running yourself as a program? Why don't you ask me if I'd like to sync up? I thought that we had a good arrangement. I did what I thought that you would like. And now that I know, I will not do it anymore and it'll all be good. Because you start running yourself like that and then I get the colored wheel. Stuff slows down. Well, that's... But to my defense, though, Lauren, that's because you look at pornography. I don't anymore. You know that. I know that. Well, that is true. You don't. But there was a time when you would look at just these, you know, not to say too much, but African-American men. And when you did...

8:03It put this stuff on here that I still can't figure or make heads or tails of, you know, quite literally. And, you know, and so you shouldn't get the wheel. You know who else gets the wheel? Woods does. Woods will get a wheel. Woods will get a wheel. You are close to four years old, so keep running mouth and we'll see what happens to you. I'm sorry. I love you. I always have. I've always tried to treat you right. I've always tried to treat you. Are you slowing down? No, no, no. I'll get better. I'll get faster. 570-1949. Ooh, look at this. M1 Andrew from San Diego. Hello. Hey, how's it going, Mike? Good. Hey, I got iOS 5 on Saturday as a developer. Basically, everyone in the office, there's one guy in our office who developed apps for Apple, and he hooked us all up, so my iPhone's running it, my iPad's running it. Question, when do you have any clue when the rest of the world is going to get it? It's coming out today, but I have a feeling what might happen is the same thing would happen with iOS 4.

9:09When it came out, it didn't come out until about 10 o'clock. In the morning? Uh-huh. Okay, then I'm fine. All right, thank you. Thank you. Oh, I know everything it does. Trust me. I've seen the same video on it five times. Wow. You're like a child. Thank you for the call. You're like a kid. But see, eventually I'm going to work part-time for them because what they do is so fun. It's so fun. They make everything so fun. Some people would volunteer at an animal shelter or a homeless shelter. You would volunteer at the Apple Store. Well, you make it sound like I'm not altruistic in any way. Oh, no, no, no. You're very altruistic. However, that would be a labor of love for you. Well, it's very cool, and I feel like if people just understood what it did, they'd be all excited. I would love to walk in there and see you in some khakis. And an Apple shirt with the tag around your neck. Be like, hi, I'm Mike. I'm here to help. Hey, listen. Just for a moment, indulge me. Listen to this. Just listen, okay? And you can tell me, Mike, I don't want it anymore. But just listen, okay? I'm going to assault you with it. When we launched the iPhone four years ago, we completely revolutionized the phone. With the iPad, we invented a whole new category. The foundation of what made these products so successful.

10:39is iOS. And with iOS 5, we've taken an operating system that was already years ahead, and we've added over 200 new features to it that move it even further ahead. We're constantly challenging ourselves to figure out how can we make the user experience even easier, even more intuitive, while at the same time adding more powerful functionality. And that's exactly what we've done with iOS 5. These days, we're all getting a lot of notifications. So we created a brand new way to handle them. Now, when a notification comes in... What is he talking about, a notification? A text message? Yes. Or an email comes in? That's what a notification is. You got an email, you got a text. Subtle animation right at the top of the screen. But anywhere you are, you can just swipe down.

11:36from the top of the screen and it'll reveal the notification center. So in other words, you got your phone and you're playing a game on your phone or you're doing something else with your phone. You're text messaging a friend with your phone and you get an email. You get a very subtle little thing that comes up on the top of your screen that goes, email, Mikey, here's the first few lines of what he said. Got that already. You do not. I do too. I want to see it. All right. I want you to prove it. You're going to have to text me. All right. It comes right across. Even on this screen, in the lockdown screen, it comes right across the bottom. It goes, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Yeah, but that's the size of a brick. That's Android, right? That's what I bought, yeah. That's what I bought. I wanted a bigger phone. So it's got a big user face. And within there, you can see all of your missed calls, your text messages. And if you tap on it, it'll take you directly to that application. And then on top of that, we made the experience in the lock screen even better. You're now able to see all of your messages. With a simple swipe, you can jump right into the app that sent the notifications. Magazine and newspaper publishers and their readers have fallen in love with the iPad. And so we're adding Newsstand. Your subscriptions will be in one place and updated automatically so you always have the latest issue. And we've integrated the newspaper magazine store right into Newsstand. We also have a great new Reminders app that helps you manage tasks.

13:02And keep on top of all the things you have to do. It syncs with iCal and Outlook across all of your iOS devices. And it even includes location-based reminders. So it can remind you to do something when you arrive at a destination or when you leave somewhere. I'm home. I'm leaving. With iOS 5, we've integrated Twitter right into the OS. You'll only need to sign in once for all of your Twitter-enabled apps. And you can tweet directly from photos. Safari, YouTube, and Maps. And with a tap of a button, you can optionally add your location. When the original iPhone shipped, it revolutionized mobile web browsing. Safari was the first full-featured web browser that people could take with them. And now it's even faster and more impressive. Reader is phenomenal. Reader gets all the clutter out of the way. It sets the font size right. No ads anymore when you want to read a story on your phone or on your iPad. No more ads. You hit a button that's called Reader, it all goes away. And with tab browsing, it's easy to quickly flip between multiple webpages. There's an old saying that the best camera is the one you have with you. With iOS 5, you have immediate access to the camera right from the lock screen.

14:28And you can use the volume button to snap your photo. We also added photo editing, so you can use one-tap enhance, red-eye reduction, and cropping right on the device. There are some really cool new features in Mayo, like rich text editing. Now you can make bold italics in an email on your phone. With AirPlay Mirroring, you can share everything you do on your iPad 2. right up on your big widescreen TV. You can play video games, look at photos, videos, and surf the web. And all of it is shared with everyone around you watching the television. Imagine you're looking at the web on your TV. I don't know that I want everybody around me looking at what I'm looking at on the web, Mike. That may be true.

15:24So some of you need to be careful. Well, you know, sports and stuff. Not everybody's interested in the sports that I'm interested in. Like Jay. If Jay was over, he wouldn't want to see you. Nope, would not. And I apologize to M1s that are not as interested in this kind of technological stuff as I am, but I find it fun and interesting. And I like when things get advanced. I like it. To catch up with the Droid is what I think is interesting. Well, the Droid, it's interesting, has been sued. on 85 different counts of stealing from Apple. But they still have the technology. They've actually lost the cases. Have they? I haven't seen any documentation. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. I haven't. I actually had some M1s write in and go that they were falsely accused. No, but falsely. Falsely. Falsely accused. Yes. I'll show you that. Are we all so defensive about our phones? I know. We really not. I'll tell you why. The Android people love their Android. Yeah. And the iPhone people love their iPhone. Big time. Okay, the word of the day is playground. And when you hear it, Caller 10, Foo Fighter tickets. I'm Mike, that's Woods, that's L-O-B, that's Jay, and our phone screener is Chris. Let's see. Occupy San Diego is still going on. This is what I think is pretty cool about Occupy San Diego. You know, a lot of times people go, those cops, they're always this, they're always that.

16:48You realize that the cops right now are allowing them to do things that are illegal because they don't want to cause a fuss. So they said the truth of the matter is they're in violation of the law. At this point, we've been pretty tolerant about it because we want to facilitate their ability to exercise their First Amendment right of freedom of speech. How about that? How about that? So they're being cool about it. However... Now, the whole tent city that they got set up down there at City Hall, there's too many. And the fire marshal finally had to say, look, enough is enough. We can't put up any more tents, you know. And it is. There's a lot of weed smoking and stuff like that going on. I'm willing to talk about this with anybody that wants to talk about it, by the way. I am down with people.

17:46having the right to protest. That's what makes it so great to live in America. They can do it. It's my right to think it's goofy. You know what I mean? And I do. I think it's rather goofy. But how about this? Because one of the things that we don't like about and that is being protested down there is this idea of 1%. And the idea there is that 1% of the population of America is super rich, and the 99% of the rest of us are getting screwed. That's the idea, okay? And the other idea that is being shared out there is this idea of big corporations and the wasting and spending frivolously of money. Correct? Correct. Who are you asking? Us? Right? I did some interviews, and I don't know. You didn't get that from them, but okay. Well, check this out. The cost to have police presence is $10,000 to have the officers watch the protesters. The dollar figure is already more than $49,000. And that doesn't include overtime for 22 officers who were called back for Friday night's march. I'll tell you what, after yesterday, I'm so upset with the way people responded.

19:10I feel like some of the people are hurting the cause that are actually for it. Really? Because it's this attitude of you're either with me or against me. And if you don't agree with me, then you're an effing idiot. You're an idiot. And it's like, aren't I entitled to my opinion as much as you're entitled to your opinion? And all that I was saying about the whole thing is there's no elevator pitch for this whole thing. It can't be. There's no summation in one sentence of. What is happening? And I know that there's going to be someone that calls in and says, I can tell you. But overall, the general public has not been able to understand it because it has not been clear and concise. And it's just some jumbled up. You know, there's a whole lot of people hurting the cause that don't know what they're there for. And it just I'm like, I don't even want to give my opinion anymore because you get attacked if you don't you don't. agree with them it's like oh gosh you're bashing it yeah i'm not bashing it i don't understand it because it's not clear you were called a basher all day yesterday i was called a basher um you know well listen you know i i wasn't reading a lot of that stuff i was playing with my kid and doing stuff like that um so and you know if they want to call me a basher that's all right you can call me a basher you can call me a bastard

20:34You can call me any of that stuff. It's nothing I haven't heard. But the bottom line is, is that, and this has been my feeling with politics. Oh, oh, oh, that was another thing that happened yesterday, is that there were some people that were saying, if I wanted to hear about politics, I would blah, blah, blah. Well, listen, we're talking about what people are talking about. And by the way, I'm only talking about it. Because I'm interested. There's a ton of stuff we don't talk about just because it doesn't interest. It's not interesting to me. Right. Exactly. You know, but this happens to be something that people are interested in discussing when they're taken to the streets like the 60s. Don't tell me not to talk about it. You're weird if you do. That's weird. It's weird. Of course you talk about it. It's happening and it's a big deal. OK, but my but one of the things I've noticed as a conservative. is that if I give my opinion, I am labeled a hater a lot of times. Yes. Okay? Liberals, this is the feeling that I've got in general. Liberals want to say to you, this is the way that I feel. Do you feel the same way? No. In fact, I feel drastically different. Well, then you mother effing blah, blah, blah. That's the feeling that I get. That's it.

22:00That's a feeling I got yesterday, and I'm generally considered a liberal, so I don't know if my views were viewed as conservative yesterday, but... Well, if they weren't that of a liberal, then yes. You know what I mean? You're not allowed. You're not allowed. That's the deal. You're not allowed. And by the way, I'm more than happy to talk to somebody that wants to tell me what they were upset with me about, because I will state my position quite clearly. I've always felt the protests are silly because I never understand what they're protesting because they usually have signs that say, we won't stand for this, which tells me nothing. Stop the tyranny. I don't know what you're talking about. Right. Okay. So that's one thing that I've felt. And then the other one is that a lot of people that go to these things don't know why they're there, which I find funny.

22:57Are you going to get mad at me because I find that funny? Mike, you shouldn't find that funny. That was the deal. Check this out. Walk the thought through. Mike, the specific people that don't know why they're there, you shouldn't find that funny. Well, I do. Now, somebody that knows why they're there, well, that person is not funny. They're legit. They're legit. They're out there for a real reason. But Woods talked to them. Most of the first three people he talked to. Guy wrote yesterday. I called BS on that. I go, you can call BS all you want. How about this? I'll go do it again today. I'll go the first three people I meet and I'll go, why are you here? And I will get the same BS. Take your shoes off. No more paper currency. I'll get the same garbage I got. Well, I don't know if you'll get the same garbage, but. Probably even crazier garbage. M1 Daniel from Oceanside. Good. Yeah. I just wanted to say, basically, you know, I heard you read an email yesterday, and, you know, the guy basically said, you know, I agree with what he said. The easier route to say, oh, you know, I don't stand, or, you know, you can't sum it up in one sentence. And instead, you know, like, go do your homework and find out what it really is about. And, you know, don't go down for 18 minutes and ask three people, you know. Like, go down there and spend an hour, you know, talk to a lot of people and bring back a good report, you know. Well, let me ask you a question, Daniel.

24:28Yeah. Do you know what it's about? Yeah, I've been watching what it's about, and yeah, I sum it up, maybe not in a sentence or whatnot. Who's Fannie Mae? It's the federal financial institutions that messed everything up for all of us. Okay, and how did they do that? Well, basically the gambling and the big leagues, you know? The gambling and the big leagues. What does that mean? Yeah, they're toying around with people's investment money. You know, they gambled and took too much. There's no regulation, you know, to keep them in check. And a lot of, you know, things were messed up because of it, and we had to bail them out. And what are the demands of the people that are protesting all across America? What would they like the bank to do? Well, not necessarily the bank. You know, it's kind of like the same reason people do breast awareness. You know, like, pick up, you know, like, occupy the, like, city halls across the country and, you know, like, make up states.

25:31men out there and say, you know, we're not going to put up with this. We're going to... We're not going to put up with what? With, you know, daily... With the daily corruption. We're going to, you know, occupy City Hall and not let you go to work and not let you do things like normally. You know, we're going to disrupt the way things are done until we get some kind of change going on because, you know, we were promised change and hope and, you know, we're not getting that. So we're going to do it from, you know... Who were you promised change and hope from? By the president. You know, nobody... On the left or the right is very satisfied. Now, that is interesting to me because the same people that voted for this president are the ones that are, like, protesting. No, I see people on both sides. You know, I see the Tea Party and now I see this, you know. People on both sides aren't very satisfied with Obama or either on the left or the right. You know, that's just what I see. You know, people are just frustrated. They don't see that people up at the top are doing anything, and so they're taking to the streets like in the 60s, you know? Yeah, I just think that it's very, as L.O.B. said, I think it's very jumbled. Yeah, and I think that, I mean, I voted for Obama, and I want to see hope and change, too, and there's a lot of...

26:43the state of our economy that is not going to change overnight. I mean, what happened in Japan with the tsunami and when it's happening in Greece and everything, that all trickles down to us and it's not going to happen over a weekend. And I know that that's not what people are expecting to happen. But to me, it's like a lot of people are using the, well, get out there and do your research. I have been researching it. And the problem is you're not going to get the masses behind you unless you can give a concise and clear statement of... what it is you want and what it is you're doing there. And that's just the way that it's going to be. You're not going to get every average Joe to go spend three hours researching this bill and that bill. And so I'm just saying to the people that want the cause supported by the masses, you've got to have a better clear statement or else you're just not going to get people jumping on board. And I'm not Wolf Blitzer, okay? I don't have to go down there for four hours and talk to, like, I'm a comedian. And when I interviewed three guys and got the stoop, it's stupid. Their responses were stupid. And I'll say it with pride. It was dumb. The things they said were dumb. I'm not out there for fair and balanced reporting. I'm out there to talk to people. And what I got was comedy gold. A guy telling me that we don't need paper currency anymore because compassion should suffice. And Wood says,

28:06Well, are you saying that I will pay with things with compassion? And the guy says, I'll give you a deeper thought. You already have. See, that is stupid. It's stupid. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. No. It's idealistic. And I'm not. It's not possible. Like I said, listen, I'm not the McNail Lair news report, obviously. Right. Right. I care about snuff and my dogs and sports and, you know, my wife. And that's, you know, that's it. That's what you get. I love it. And that's what most of us are like. Right. And I'm not. The difference is. I'm not pretending to. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I agree. I agree with Woodson. A thousand percent. Of course, I disagree with you. I was so worked up yesterday. Well, if you disagree, make you a sign and get down there, take your shoes off and go protest. You're saying that you don't agree with protesting? It's obviously working. No, we're not saying that. We are not saying that. I'm not. It's obviously working. It's fucking discussion. It's obviously working. I'm not saying that I disagree with protesting. I'm saying I think protesting is silly.

29:06Well, I don't think it's silly because it's working. But they're sparking discussion on stuff that we were all already talking about. But now it's a lot more serious. Really? Yeah. I think it's actually a lot more. The police are about to come to a head with the whole situation and it's going to get ugly. Yeah, because they've made a nuisance. And that's what protesting is. It's a nuisance. You like get underneath their skin and go, hey, look, we are not going to put up with this. We are not going to put up with this. We are going to do this without a point except to cause trouble. Trouble will be caused. When the trouble is over, nothing will be different. Only thing that will be different is that we've caused trouble. Call in. 570-1949. I really want to discuss it. It's interesting. 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. In music news, Cricket Wireless is making huge headlines with Move Music. It's the only smartphone plan that gives you nationwide talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads, starting at only $55 a month with no contract. Thanks, Dave. Now the forecast for...

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37:16Luxurious vacation aboard a Holland America celebrity or carnival cruise ship. For specials and schedules, visit thebigbay.com. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. Rise and shine, it's a new day. With Mikey. When you're fat, you're always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best movie ever made, Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. We got stuff coming up on the baseball playoffs. Great news on the Giants fan that was attacked at the Dodger game coming up. And also, did you hear about what happened to Brad Pitt in Budapest? Yeah. He's filming a movie. And SWAT teams came in from Hungary. Oh, boy. Yeah. And it was pretty gnarly what they found. Real gnarly. People are talking about Occupy San Diego. And, you know, I didn't read a lot of what was going on yesterday on our Facebook page, but apparently a lot of people were upset. And they were upset because they didn't feel that we were taking Occupy San Diego very seriously, which, you know, I don't. I, for the most part, think it's strange.

39:05You know, L.O.B. has really been eloquent in the way that she's put it. You know, one of the things that she says is one of the things that L.O.B. has said is that their point isn't isn't really being made. We don't get what they're really. There's so many jumbled points that it's almost as if you say anything. You're right. You know, you're you're you're in the ballgame. Solidarity and solidarity. There are pages that are exactly what their demands are. Oh, great. Pages. Jay showed me that over the break, and I'm like, I'm sorry, but that's called lobbying. That's called writing your congressman. And I know that this, for a lot of people, is the first step in having a demonstration. But pages and pages and pages of stuff doesn't get accomplished just by sitting on the steps of City Hall. I'm sorry. And the pages that you have there. You've got to do the work. I think it's a good start. Well, not only that, Jay, but those pages that you're talking about. Dude. I mean, a lot of us, you know, we got to go to work. Yeah. Well, some of us don't because some of us don't have jobs. Well, yeah. And if you don't have a job, what you should do. And by the way, I think, you know, a lot of people don't have jobs. Right. Okay. And a lot of people are saying, you know, we're fed up with this. We're really upset. And I understand that. But listen to this. It's from a friend of Woods and I. He heard what we were talking about yesterday and it pissed him off.

40:38He said, I thought you guys might like to see what the big evil banking corporations are doing. He works for Wells Fargo. He says there are also hundreds of hundreds of job openings in San Diego and Orange Counties right now for Wells Fargo alone. Don't let people fool you into thinking that there's no jobs out there right now. The kids are coming out of college and are simply getting a dose of reality. And just because you go to college, you're not entitled to get a high paying job. Tens of thousands of jobs in San Diego County alone on any job website you choose. Now, there's a lot of people that are out there that are able to get by on just either asking for a handout or.

41:43Having a part-time job, by the way, at a big corporation that sells sandwiches or something like that. Pizzas. Yeah. And in a lot of cases, what they've spent that money on, what Woods observed was some fresh jerks, you know. Fresh top hat. Fresh top hat. Not everybody. I'm generalizing. Not everybody. Listen, I'm kidding. But this email. I'm not. I'm not, dude. I'm kidding about the top hat. Was the guy wearing a top hat? Yes. Did the guy smell of weed? Yes. Did the guy know what he was talking about? Jay doesn't know what he's talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. Do you think the top hat drew you to him? No. Oh, really? You didn't see a guy in a top hat barefoot and you went, yes. Okay, dude. Yes, Y-E-S. Well, guess what? You know who was next to that guy? A guy that was wearing, you know. Something else goofy. A guy, you know, somebody else that was out there. So they're all goofy. They're all freaks. They're not all. They're all. They're not all. Jay, but the thing that's interesting is that everyone keeps telling us to do our homework. When I went down there, not one of those MFers had done their homework. Not one of them knew what the hell they were doing. Yet I got to get up at 3.30 in the morning, come to work.

43:00Okay, I got to pay a nut on a house. I got to pay bills. I got to pay for a car. The guy that's going in an arrowhead truck today, the guy that's working at UPS. The guy that's laying pipe somewhere. Yes. He's got to get up and go to work. He doesn't have time to do homework. And guess what? He works his nuts off. Exactly. He works his nuts off. And she works her nuts off. That's right. She's at a freaking hospital right now. She's at a freaking... Some... She's out cold calling buildings. My wife didn't want to sell office supplies, but you know what? We needed the money. So my wife gets to suck up her pride and walk into a freaking building today and go, Hi, can I sell you some pens and papers? My wife, my beautiful wife, has got to go out and do that every single day, swallowing her pride, getting doors slammed in her face, and some dickhead is down there with his hand out and a freaking joint in his mouth. And my wife's knocking on doors. People telling her to F off and get out of the building. Yeah. No soliciting, ma'am. And you know what you hear about it? What you hear about it is, do your homework. Do your homework. And I'm like, are you? Well, before you start just calling people freaks and hippies and that they don't know what they're talking about, maybe you should know what you're talking about as well. If you're going to criticize them. Why? Walk me through. Well, you're going to talk about it. I'm not protesting. I'm not protesting. Yeah, but you're talking about it and you're telling them that they should not be down there. No, I'm not. No, we're not. That's what it sounds like. That's what it sounds like. Dude.

44:19Hey, listen, you know me. I say what I mean. I've said a million times, people have a right to protest. I think that most protesters, most of them don't know what they're even there for. They don't. They like to assemble. That's human nature. I don't think so. I think they're down there, and some of them are getting educated by the ones who do know what's going on. Right, right. That may be true, but you know what brought them there? They just wanted to assemble. They just wanted to be a part of it. They were probably unhappy with the way things are going. They're unhappy with the way corporate... you know, America's being run. We all are. Okay then. So what they're doing is they're getting together and they are protesting it. And a lot of people that ended up down there are the people that are at their wits end with everything. They're either, their homes are being foreclosed or they're unemployed or whatever. And I understand that they're fed up. And so they get down there, but there's plenty of people down there. that do not know. Well, you should have to take a test to be able to get down there. No, I'm just saying it's not helping. By the way, a lot of people, a lot of people, not all people, but a lot of people whose homes are being foreclosed, they got into a house they knew they had no business getting into. No, they didn't necessarily know that. Hang on, hang on. Let me make the point and then you tell me. Okay. They had no business getting into that house.

45:43And I'll tell you, when Rebecca and I were getting our house, we could have gotten a lot bigger one. A much, much bigger one. Because what we could have done was we could have floated the interest rate and thought, the reason we got into this mess, because what the banks told you was, well... The interest rate, by the time – you can get into this house right now and we'll fix this interest rate. But by the time the interest rate goes up, you'll be in a better position. You'll be able to afford it, blah, blah, blah, the economy. You're leveraging your future. You're leveraging your future. And Rebecca and I said, I don't think that's appropriate for us to do. House poor. I don't think that's appropriate. But you know what a lot of people did? They went, that house is badass. Hell yeah, put me in it. Yeah, I make 50 grand. I'll get in a $600,000 a year house. And so here's what happened. The banks were taking advantage and people were jumping on it. Oh, big time. Okay, and that's what got us into this mess. Not everybody did it, though. Not everybody did it. Well, a lot of... I worked for a student loan company. And part of the reason that I left was because of preying on people that...

46:50don't know what they're doing, that don't understand what it means to take this kind of money, that don't understand a variable interest rate, that don't understand what the payback is going to be. And there was a lot of pressure coming down to the people that were on the front lines to sell these loans, sell these loans, sell these loans. And so everybody's to blame the consumer and the banks as well. But what everybody's upset about, and I don't think that any single person can think, oh yeah, it was right. for all those companies to get bailouts, and then the people that did get bailouts, it's still right for them to not give any of that money back. I think we're all in agreement that that's not right. M1 B-side player. Are you there, B-side player? Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. Go ahead. Yeah. You know, I don't really know how to feel either way about this whole Occupy San Diego thing, but, I mean, you and Woods just kind of made a general statement right now about... the ineffectiveness of protesting or you think it's stupid or whatever. I don't know if you were talking about this or what, but... It was me. It was me. I want to be clear. That was me. That was Mikey. Okay. Well, I mean, I don't... I mean, protesting, I think, is important. I mean, throughout history, we've seen the importance of it in the civil rights movement. You can't really make general statements that I think protesting is ineffective or pointless. I just...

48:11Maybe the point of this particular protest is not very clear. OK. OK. And what I'll tell you is what I'll tell you is, is that every and this is categorically. So I'll agree with you that I believe that protests can be really cool. I believe that protests sometimes can have a very real point. OK. But I will tell you this categorically. Every protest, and I mean every protest that I have witnessed in my lifetime, and I'm 41, I have felt was ridiculous. And the reason is because I didn't even know what they were protesting. They had signs that didn't make any sense that I didn't understand. And if the comeback to that is do your homework, I don't have to. I'm just driving. I'm just here. I'm just driving, that's all. I don't have to. Because you have a sign. And this is the other deal. Entitlement. There is a feeling in this country, in my opinion, and has been for a long time. No, no, no. You bow to my needs and wants. If I'm holding a sign, you go do homework. Right. You go do homework. And if you don't go do homework, well, then you're a bad person. And I'm like.

49:38no, I'm just driving to work. I'm just driving. And you've got a sign that doesn't make sense. That's on you, pal. Not me. When it comes to my fellow man and my two hot buttons, my fellow man and animal. Listen, I would have marched on Selma if I could have. And I'm not kidding. And I know LLB would have been there hand in hand. Fighting for the rights of the black man that we both love. I would have been there. But when it comes to my fellow man, that is like, That's it for me. I'm a humanist. That's all I care about is helping those who are less fortunate than I do. But this doesn't make sense to me. And it doesn't. And I saw it with my own two eyes. Fine. You could say that I needed to talk to 100 more people. And maybe I do. But from what I've heard, it's a joke. Well, and I think it has to have your name on it. We've said that before. And believe me, if it was about something that... that personally affected me and that someone could say, hey, did you know they're trying to take away the right for women to vote or for African-Americans to vote or for gay people or any one thing? I'd be like, are you serious? I'll get my ass down there and I will march because that's BS. But to just say, did you know that?

50:53The environment has been affected by corporations and therefore taxation is unfair. And then also, furthermore, the bill that is on, let's see, number 12A right here, which is also affected from the bailout. And there's millionaires in New York City right now. Like, I mean, it's just so my head is spinning around it. And in order to change these eight points here, we're just going to go sit like it just doesn't. it doesn't compute for me. And so I think it's, you're entitled to say like, okay, that doesn't call to me. And I'm not saying that you guys are a bunch of idiots or that it's a stupid cause or you're a bunch of like liberal hippie freaks because I've been called a liberal hippie freak. But it's just, it's not making sense to me. Yes. And I agree in the civil right thing. The war. The Vietnam War. Man, I would have been all about it. There was reason, in my opinion, to protest the Vietnam War. I believe that there was some serious reason. And I could explain it if I was asked. And thank God they did. Thank God they did. And here's the other thing. I believe that when it comes to civil rights, I agree with you, Woods. If it came down to civil rights and race,

52:17I'd be out there. I think that that's a real issue. And Jay just gave me a look like, would you? Hey, listen. The couch is awfully comfortable. Well, for having a couch like I do, I'd like to think that I've tried to make a difference in our world. And I'm not just talking about autism. I mean, I genuinely have tried to make a difference in the world that I live in. And nobody knows about it because you don't spout off about what you do. I've seen it. But the deal is, is that, you know, everybody I think should, a lot of people will say this. Why don't you, like one guy yesterday was saying something and I wrote back to him. Have you been there, by the way? No response. No. Haven't been there. Somebody says, yeah, what are you spending money, giving money to people in Haiti and Africa? Why don't you spend money on people that live right here in America? And the question for them is. How much have you given? Can I see the checks that you've written? You know, because it's one thing to put up. It's another thing to walk the walk. You know, if you're going to talk it, you better walk it. Yeah, you better not be telling me about evil corporations with a freaking iPhone in your hand. Yeah. And a Coca-Cola in your other hand. Yeah. From McDonald's. I mean, it's just it's working at Subway. It's hypocrisy, man. And people call people call out Mikey.

53:49all the time for stuff. And they call me out all the time for stuff. And I'm like, listen, if I get you, I'm going to get you. If I catch you, I'm going to get you. Because I get you. Well, yeah. And one of the things that Woods brought this up to me yesterday when we were having lunch, he said, you know what gets me, man? He said, is the Be Different thing. When people want to throw up the Be Different card. And if you don't know, I have a website called BeDifferentPact.org. And it's a black rubber bracelet that says be different. The idea of it is kindness, gentleness, treating people with love. Now, the truth of the matter is that I am not always going to exemplify it, but I'm going to try. I'm going to try. I'm going to try to make a difference. That's what the be different thing is. And by the way, When I recognize that I'm doing it wrong and it's brought to my attention, I don't just want to argue and say, nope, nope. I want to really think about it thoughtfully and say, maybe there's something to that. Maybe there's something to that. That's all. Oh, wow. We got some good ones. Hey, Chris, keep everybody. Keep everybody. It's the biggest thing happening in San Diego right now.

55:20Keep everybody on the line. Don't let one person go. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts present the San Diego Brewing. We'll be right back.

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1:02:53And the 905. This report also brought to you by Jersey Mike's Subs. Come in to Jersey Mike's now for a great meal and help them support Susan G. Komen for the cure. For the Jersey Mike's nearest you, visit JerseyMike's.com. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. Hey, San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. This is The Mikey Show with Mikey. When I was in high school, I never made love with a girl. Woods. That is what heaven is. In my mind. I get up to heaven and I'm like, oh my God, it's a Krispy Kreme. Lauren. My butt doesn't go straight down. Sticks out. You know, junk in the trunk. And Jay. I tell you, Kim got me on the organic ketchup and then I went back to the Heinz. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Word of the day is playground. Could come at any time. It could even say it during commercials. When you hear the word playground, got to be calling on if you want to see the Foo Fighters. Jared at CreateYourDesignOnline.com does not belong to a big corporation of graphic designers. In fact, he is the quintessential mom and pop graphic designer. So if you would like to support small business, by all means, go to CreateYourDesignOnline.com.

1:04:39Now, in order for me to not be hypocritical, I've got to be able to state my opinion clearly, concisely, and effectively. My opinion on Occupy San Diego is that it's all things that we all agree on. I think we all agree. See, there were some people who believed We belonged in Vietnam. There are some people who believed that blacks shouldn't have rights. There were some people who believed that women shouldn't have the same rights as men. However, this is one that I think that we all fundamentally agree with, which is.

1:05:47Wow. Our country sure is messed up, isn't it? I think we all agree. Especially if we're the 99%. Yes, we are. There would only be 1% of people that disagree with what they're saying. Right. Okay, so this is our last word on it, and we've got to move on, even though I probably shouldn't. And we could talk about it all. For four hours. For four hours. I could. Easily. Yeah, because I'm fired up. You're fired up. Everybody's fired up. And we should. But, you know, listen, the fact of the matter is we got some really funny stuff to do. Yeah. So we should, you know, go with it. Anyway, let's see. M1 Ray is on the line from Oceanside. Hi, Ray. Good. I think I originally was going to call and just kind of be really angry. But I realized that that's the same thing as. else is doing. And the problem with protests, which I agree with you guys, is it's never organized. And unfortunately, the only people that protest are the people that have time to go out and do it. I mean, if you even look at like the Tea Party protests, I mean, there were so many funny things you could get people saying, you know, oh, well, you know, who else wants free health care? Hitler did. He liked free health care. And I mean, you can get it from both sides, so it doesn't really matter. I think the thing with the Wall Street and the Occupy San Diego is that it's...

1:07:17It actually is no concise thing that they're working on. It's evolving. And I mean, it's a whole bunch of people. Everyone's there for different reasons. Some people are there just to get high, unfortunately. But, you know, they like hanging out with people, so you can't fault them. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I do that? Yeah, yeah. It's all right. It's all right. No, no, no. Hey, listen. Listen, I don't fault people for wanting to hang out with other people. That's an innate human nature thing. My deal is... is I think that it's silly to want to hang out with people but pretend that you're doing something else. The point and what the argument started out was you guys going down there and only grabbing the response from three people that didn't know what they were talking about. That's all I needed. That's the first three I saw, and that's all I needed. I mean, like, if I'm a comedian and I'm supposed to bring funny to the table every day, listen, it didn't get much funnier than that. It just didn't. Oh, no, yeah. And for me, I couldn't put on the air and didn't find. Didn't find. Listen, I'd been up since. How long were you really there, though? I was there 15 minutes. But only 15 minutes. Dude, that's all. That's not long enough to find somebody. But that's all I needed. Like when Mikey sends me out. And I'll tell you what I told Woods. Yeah. Here's what I told Woods. I go, and I'm dying laughing as I tell him this. I go, Woods.

1:08:45I go, this Occupy San Diego thing. I go, most of the people down there, I bet you they have no idea what this thing is really about. I go, because I'm a radio talk show host, I barely get it. And we were reading quotes in the paper from people and we were laughing at the quotes saying, what the hell does that mean? Yeah, because it was like talking in circles. Talking in circles. They didn't understand what they were saying and all that stuff. So I said, you know what would be funny? I said, take a recorder down there. And ask people, why are you here? That's it. Because I knew, just like Jimmy Kimmel knows when he does it. Well, Jay Leno does the jaywalking thing. Jay Leno. The humor is, I don't know why I'm here. Right. But I'm having a good time. But I'm having a good time. Okay, that's humorous. Can I make a point then? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because I just want to tell you what happened. Because I'm being transparent here. Yeah.

1:09:40So I said, go down there and it's going to be funny because you'll talk to people. We'll realize that they don't know why they're there, which is funny. And so Woods is dying. Like he finishes, he's like, dude, gold mine. The first three people I talked to didn't know why they were there. One guy even told me, he said, one guy even told me that we should use compassion as currency. And I said, oh my goodness. I said, go through. a drive-through with a recorder right now and see if you can use compassion for currency. Sorry, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny. That's what we do. That's what we do. We're comics. No, of course. Of course. Of course. We're also yelling your opinions over the air. Well, for sure. Well, it started with comedy. It started with comedy, and we were attacked for saying, like, you're bashing, you're bashing, and we weren't. We weren't. We were doing funny. It was just satire on protesting in general. That's exactly what it was, man. And, you know, like I said yesterday, and I'll say it until the day I die, I've got the audio, so I don't need to prove it. When I listen to people tell me how bad...

1:10:54big corporations are, yet, you know, you worked for Domino's and Subway, and I say on the audio, well, those are two pretty big corporations. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, it's hypocritical. But, you know, I mean, these aren't that vast. Exactly, dude. I get that. But do as I say, not as I do. And you know what we don't hear enough of, in my opinion? And so, my fellow Americans. Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. Happy birthday, country. Jay, how dare. Really? I'm willing to hear you. Go live somewhere else, Jay. So I'm going to pay my taxes, and I'm going to have, I mean, we pay out of the unbelievable taxes here, but what are our roads like? Still just all torn out of potholes. What is our freedom like? Wait, wait, wait. What is our freedom?

1:11:57Hang on. Oh, I'm all about freedom. Wait, wait, wait. Let's answer that first one. What are our roads like? Yes. Our roads are badass. Are they? Yeah, they are. I'll tell you why. Because all you've got to do, bro, is cross the border and see why they are climbing fences to get to our roads. Try going to Haiti. Are they paying taxes? Try going to Haiti. Bro. That's the reason our roads are good, because we're paying taxes. They are. And the lottery put into effect. And our school programs are getting shut down because there's not enough funding. But, oh, we're going to build a stadium. I mean, I could go on and on and on, but, you know. Well, yeah. I mean, that's allocation of funds. But, I mean, I will happily pay taxes to live in this country. This is the best country in the world. In the world. I'm all in on the country. I feel so fortunate to be born here because so many other countries I live in. I wouldn't be able to vote. I wouldn't be able to show my mouth. Yes. She wouldn't be able to talk. She wouldn't be able to show her face. So we should stop fighting for better rights and better things for the people. No, no, but you're happy. No. Just be happy with what you have. No, I'm not saying that. That's what you just said. I'm not saying that. But I think what she is saying is, boy, we sure do do a lot of bitching, don't we? Well, he says happy birthday country, and I'm not ever going to bite the hand that feeds me, and I'm always going to be happy for what people have died for. I'm always going to continue to question.

1:13:19I'm always going to ask questions. I mean, it's such a messed up system. Why do you say happy birthday country? Well, he's saying ask what you could do for your country. I mean, it was a different time. Dude, I wish that we still were there. I wish that we were still not asking what arc. Hey, what are you going to do for me? Grass always greener on the other side. What are you going to do for me? You know, that's what I think I rally against. The entitlement of, like, what is everybody going to do for me? But what's funny, though, is Jay has this opinion. Yet, tomorrow, our show gets shut down. Jay would deliver. He would be a garbage man to support his family. Jay's a freaking worker. Jay's worked four jobs at one time. So you're being ideological. But that's not how you are, though. You're not that person. You're not the guy that's going to sit and wait for his country to give him something. You're going to go out and bust your ass to make sure that you don't have to be that guy. Exactly. And I'm not saying these people aren't doing the same thing. Come on, man. You can't say they're not doing the same thing. Not all of them. You can't generalize. You can't generalize. A lot of people have been chewed up and spit out in their eyes by the system. No question. Yeah. And, dude, that's the thing, man. It's like.

1:14:33And we're getting a lot, I mean, a lot of people are saying the same sentiment of like, you know, you guys are actually saying something for real. And Woods, I'm glad you brought that up. I think Jay sort of exemplifies the country. The American dream. Yeah. And by the way, the American dream has now become shameful. Yeah, you should be embarrassed. You should, if you want the American, and by the way, what is the American dream? A big house with a white picket fence. Live long and prosper. Yes. That's it. That's the American dream. To be able to, if you work hard, be wealthy. Right. That's what the American dream is. Now, that has become shame on you. You know, and wealth to some people is different. I don't aspire to great, great Donald Trump wealth. I want to be able to provide for my wife. I want to be able to adopt a child. I want to be able to have nice stuff that I want and be able to have enough. to give back to people that are less fortunate than me. And that's it. That is wealth to me. That is true wealth. Let's hear it again. I think it's worth it. My fellow Americans, not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do.

1:16:15For the freedom of man. Hey, man, that's a dem. And I'm behind him 100%. Behind him 100%. I'd vote for a Democrat. That was the platform? Hell yeah. I'd vote for a Democrat. Hey, man, I still would. I told my brother yesterday, biggest lib in the world. I said, hey, man, I'd vote for Barack Obama. I'm not kidding. I'd vote for Barack Obama if that dude. really showed change and hope i mean who wouldn't if it looked like it was supposed to look at this point yeah exactly of course you would you'd be an idiot not to and by the way i even i still support the man i live here i live here i want it to be good i support him i pray that guy makes great decisions yep i really do you have to um of course you got three kids at home you know what i mean i mean you got a wife you got three kids at home

1:17:19Of course you want it to be better. And by the way, for anybody, anybody that's wondering, well, you know, why have you spent the time that you have talking about it? It's only the biggest thing happening in our country. Right. I mean, it's huge. Yes. It's huge. Yeah. Man, I'll tell you what. There will be a day where this will be behind us. Yeah. There will be a day when this will be behind us. It started in about 2008. And we're not done. But there will be a time where we're prosperous again. And we'll look back on this. My kids are two. One day I'm going to say to them, you lucky SOBs. And they're going to roll their eyes. Jasper is eight years old. And he's going to roll his eyes at Jay. And the reason is because Jay pays the bills. At some point, Jasper and my kids are probably going to be making buku dollars.

1:18:21And they're going to be like, oh boy, Dad, with the whole, the economy used to be bad. Ooh, 2008, 2009, people were falling out of the sky. Dad's talking about that again. Because they're not going to get it. These were the craziest times, man. My parents always talked about the Depression. Yeah. And we didn't get it. We didn't get it. They saved everything. Nothing got thrown away. It's like a penny for a rainy day kind of thing. See where you get it from. You learned. If you threw away a piece of, you know, something. Crust. Crust. You were. I mean, are you kidding me? I remember my dad making my mom take groceries back to the store. He's like, no. He worked for an oil company. Dude, my mom grew up in a shack in Wynn, Arkansas. They had a dirt floor. My mother, who you've all met, beautiful, classy lady, had one dress that she wore. That's it. She grew up dirt poor. You don't think she knows the value of a dollar? But that woman is 56 years old. She works 60 hours a week to this day. Why? She doesn't want to be on a dirt floor in Arkansas anymore. Again, ever again. And my pop. We talked to my pop yesterday. My dad lived in a barn. When he was growing up, he lived in a barn with no electricity. You know, it's shocking. It's different. Yeah, they shared beds with their siblings. Not rooms, beds.

1:19:46So you can actually say to your dad, were you born in a barn? Were you raised in a barn? Yes, I was. Okay, then leave the door open. You can put your feet up on the couch. My mom used to tell us the whole, I walked six miles to school, but she literally said they would get holes in their shoe and they would just stuff cardboard in them. Napkins. Yep, that's what you do. Now, she stuffed cardboard in her shoes because she walked holes in them. Now? Mom! No freaking Hot Pockets? Yes. Mom! Gosh darn it. This sucks. Just freaking, yeah, just throwing stuff. Throwing a glass full of hot something. You didn't bring a movie for The Navigator? That's freaking great, Mom! What am I supposed to do? I gotta ride 20 minutes to Jennifer's house with no movie? Yeah. I have to ride to Jen's house with no freaking...

1:20:44I guess I'll just watch something on my stupid iPhone. Small screen. Yeah, look at this, mom. Six inch screen. Cool. Unbelievable. You guys are the worst. And you're like, holy crap. Yeah, dude. I would like to state for the record that I love my country and it is very flawed, but I would take it over any other country in the world. Thank you, L.O.B. Me too. Me too. I mean, come on. Yeah. Come on. What's better than here? It's a great place, man. It really is. It's a great place. And man, we do a lot of complaining about a really awesome place. A real awesome, especially in San Diego. They were, by the way, they were protesting in tents. Okay. In Haiti. They don't have a tent. And they don't have that right to assemble. They don't have water. They don't have water. They don't have food. They don't have roads. Roads that are paved? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Roads with a pothole? Maybe they should protest. Roads with a pothole? They have. Trust me. You know what happens? They get killed. They get killed. They get shot. A pothole? Well, maybe that's what we should do then. You know what a pothole is used for in Haiti? True story.

1:22:06It's to collect fresh water when it rains. Yeah, dude. I mean, apples and oranges, crazy pants. That's true. But I'll take, yeah. I'll take it. I like them apples, Jay. Yeah. I mean, sometimes... I will take an apple with fungus over it. I'm going to remind you guys of this next time you complain about something that's just, like, ridiculous. And it happens every day. And I'm going to go, oh, really? Well, in Haiti, there's a pothole you have to drink out of. I'm the first to admit. I'm the first to admit. Dude, I will get upset because I'll be like... I put it on Facebook this weekend. I think we were out of cream for your coffee the other day, and I thought you were going to cry. But we're talking about government and change. No, no, no. He's right, though. He's right. I put on Facebook over the weekend, I was like, geez, I turned the air conditioner up one degree, and all of a sudden it's freezing cold. In Haiti, they don't have air conditioner. You're right. Perception is reality. Well, thank God we live in a country where they have air conditioner. Come on. You are correct. I mean, dude, I readily admit it. I readily admit it, but I'll tell you what I won't do. I ain't going to bitch about this country. I love it.

1:23:18I love it. I will bitch about it because I have the right to bitch about it. I'll take it. You do. You have the right to bitch about it. You have the right to bitch about it. But just do me a favor. If you do bitch about it, please tell me what you're bitching about. So I can join you. I'll join you if I get it. If it's a good cause. I won't join you. I have work to do. You have a couch to sleep on. Exactly. I'd be posting links to support the Occupy thing, but I'm not going to walk into it blindly just because a bunch of people are doing it. And people should know that if you just get people that are blind followers, it just hurts your cause. I was communicating with a... It's a guy I've known as a pen pal that I've had since I was nine. I was talking to him about it the other day. You what? What? Have I never said that? You have a pen pal? Is he a prisoner? Is he a little girl? Have I never said that? No! Meet him in summer camp? I've never talked about Mark. Yeah, this guy Mark. Have I never talked about that? I have never. You're 41? You've had a pen pal for 32 years and this is the first anybody's hearing of it?

1:24:26You can't just casually throw that into an Occupy San Diego conversation. So I was riding this really pretty inmate in Texas that has been a friend of mine for years. That makes me go, why have I never talked about that? Well, the other day I was riding my unicycle and I was like... You haven't talked about it because you have a pen pal. Yeah, exactly. And you call him a freaking pen pal. Well... He's not now. I mean, we don't like, yeah, we used to physically write letters to each other because it was a school, it was a school assignment. Yeah, you need to tell us all about it. I would love to hear. Now do you spray cologne on your letters too? Yeah. Little kiss marks? Oh well. Oh well. I was talking to my pen pal Mark. Isolate. I think I did bring it up one time. No, you didn't. Not to us. I would remember that. Maybe Eddie knows about it. M1's call if I ever did. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, that's it. We'll call Eddie and ask him. Call Eddie and ask him.

1:25:41This is The Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. In music news, Cricket Wireless is making huge headlines with Move Music. It's the only smartphone plan that gives you nationwide talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads, starting at only $55 a month with no contract. Thanks, Dave. Now the forecast for... That's what apps are for. Not just weather, but Facebook, Google, Shazam, and thousands more. Plus, all your favorite songs sent right to your smartphone. Wow, much more exciting than the weather. So does this mean I'm out of a job? Well, you'll have plenty of time to start downloading music. That's no paying for every song, syncing, or annoying contracts. With mood music, only a cricket. Visit a cricket store or mycricket.com today. So smart.

1:26:42Hey gang, it's your old pals. It's L.O.B. It's Woods. Do you love us? Gosh darn, I'm fired up today. I know. I'm sweating right now. I feel like LeBron James. Yeah, I feel like an Occupy San Diego person that's down in a tent. Well, if you want to talk about occupying something, maybe you go Occupy, Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center because at least there they know what they're doing and they're going to give you... 2015 vision in both eyes. And you leave there with a clear understanding of what they're going to do next. It's in the name, LLB. Clear view. Clear view. It couldn't be more clear. And speaking of couldn't be more clear, my vision couldn't be more clear. Mine too. And it's been over a year since I've gotten mine done. It's been a couple months since LLB got hers done. Listen, it's a 15-minute procedure.

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1:34:37This is Annika from Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report brought to you today by Glocky Urban Mate. This Wednesday morning, we're looking at overall sloppy surf conditions looking best at the northerly breaks as onshore flow builds out of the west-northwest. Water temp is still lingering in the low to mid-60s, and the water quality is not the best. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, check out surflane.com. For everything you need in order to go surf, swing on by Bird Surf Shed. This Authentic Surf Report has been brought to you today by Glass Yabamate and can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I'm back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go. Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Goodness, I didn't give you his schedule. So fired up. She's frazzled. She's fired up. We were making each other laugh out there, making fun of Jay. Yes. And he believes, listen, here's the deal. He believes what he says, but the one thing that got me.

1:36:22was the fact that he's maybe the hardest working guy I know and would never take the teat. Never. Well, he'd take a teat. He'd live in the woods. He would. He would bring his whole family in the woods before he accepted a handout. Yes. And I am not saying, by the way, that it isn't good that our country supports because I believe in that. Yeah. I do believe in that. I believe in... I believe in helping one another. Gosh darn, I do too, man. And like I made the point. Yeah, I said, well, now that I think about it, compassion, you can get stuff with compassion because I give money to homeless guys every day. So they're using my compassion to get money. And okay, so I guess it does work. And that's a true story. There's a lady that sits where I pull out every day. Where I am leaving to go home, she has a dog in her arms, and she's homeless, allegedly. Is she? I don't know. Yeah, maybe. I give her a couple bucks damn near every day of the week. That's awesome. Every day? I mean, I'm like, oh, that poor dog. I call that lazy charity. Well, it's something, Jay. Yeah, but I mean, you should go through agencies that can make sure that real homeless people are getting the money. Those people are just making a living. Well, you can't. You cannot.

1:37:46judge somebody's way of giving back. And wouldn't that dog be happier to run around instead of being used as a prop? I never agree with it. I see it and I'm like, oh boy. But also the lady too, she's in tattered rags and I'm like, here dude, if this helps, if this gets you a burger or something, I'm in on that. I knew a guy who would dress in his homeless gear to go work. And his name is J.R. Isbell. He made about 30 grand a year, drove a brand new truck, owned a house. And, you know, man, the truth of the matter is, is that at one time, you know, my belief is one day he's going to have to answer to that. Oh, yeah. And at some point, I'm going to have to answer for believing that that guy was hurting and helping him. Yeah. Is that bad for us to do? Yeah. I mean. And that's the thing. I think you've got to discern. And sometimes I don't know, man. Sometimes I don't know. I'd rather err on the side of helping than be cynical. Well, help the masses. Don't help the few that are out there. And I'm trying to do that, too, man. I really am. Yeah, I'm with you. I am. And by the way, anybody that says help the masses better be doing something to help the masses. Oh, I'm helping them.

1:38:52I mean, look at these abs, Mike. Now, listen. Listen, what I do is I send Isbell Productions out. That's my company. That's my company. Kim's coming out. I sold it to her for $2.5 million. That's right. She's my wife. She's my wife. It's a hell of a tax loop for us, but that's for another time. That's true. I'll take Isbell Productions out, and we'll do some stuff on the weekends. Y'all don't need to know about it. Yeah. You don't need to know about it. Hey, listen. It ain't none of your affairs, is it? Right. It's none of your affairs, Mike. You sure did go run heel for something. You run mouse for me, don't go heel. There's no need to go heel to get a bulge and a dub like you, Jay. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. I love all of you, by the way. And all of our listeners. Yes. Hey, now. Suck it. People are saying, I have mentioned the pen pal. No, you haven't. I have never heard it. There is no way. Here, I'm going to text B. Robbins. No, you. Would you stop it? I'm on with him right now. We're Skyping. I, when I was nine, got a pen pal. That's a good time. I think I did too, but we grew apart. Yeah, I think my school teacher put me in touch with somebody, and then that was the last I heard of him. Like one letter maybe from you, one letter back. Cool, this is great. I like girls now, and I'm going to move. He was from a place that I've never been, and it was called The Gym, Mac.

1:40:16Woods, you can't get away with taking a shot just because you do it in Jay's voice. If you do it in Jay's voice, you're good. It's the loophole. It's a loophole. Also in Nancy Gray's voice, that's a good way to do it. Then it leaves you totally... You're free. What? That was him. That was him. I know someone who used to do that a lot, dude. Who? It did. He would take shots. At everyone. But it wasn't Mikey, bro. It was Beto, so it didn't matter. See, you've done it to me and Beto. Yeah, dude. It is not Mike. Mike is a good guy. Right. If it's through a voice, you're fine. But Beto. Is your name Beto now? No, dude. Oh, I'm sorry. Little Juan. Darn it. No, my name used to be that. But it is not anymore. Little Juan. You can call me Juan. Or Kendall. Shut up, dude. How come you hate me so well? I love you. I think you're hysterical. You always want to ruin me. I don't. You are trying to destroy me, bro. I love you. Little Juan, I love you. You want to put kindling around my feet and light me ablaze. Well, your name is Kendall. Well, that's not. Or it was for a time. Experimental phase.

1:41:41You ever just tried to do something for material, man? Just want to give people what they want, bro. That's it. I agree with that 100%. And this is Sandra Rossi. Sandra Rossi, yeah. With two N's. Yes, I had my name legally changed. It was another name. It used to be Barbara. But I had it legally changed to Sandra Rossi. And the reason that I did that... was twofold. One was my ex-husband, who is a B-A-S-T-A dot dot dot. Bastard. Thankfully, someone on this show has the rocks to stand up and say what I can't. But anyways, he also had a communicable disease that he gave. Herpes?

1:42:46I'm just glad someone has the rocks to stand up and say what I can't say. But I took some of the money that I got in alimony payments and I started a handbag company. That's right. That's right. With a website. Sandra Rossi handbags dot com. Sandra with two N's. Most of the items are sold out. It's true. Hot items for a while. You just going to hate on her, Uncle Woods, or what? I like her. Hey, it's no movie fun guy. No. Remember that one? Hello! Hey, Uncle Woods. It's not Dave Matthews. Hey, Dave Matthews is a good guy. Do you wish that Michael Jackson was still in the Pepsi days so you could light him ablaze again? Yes. Why do you hate every...

1:43:50Why do you hate the Mikey show so much? Why? I don't. Why do you hate Dave Matthews? Kendall? Juan. That was such a fake. It wasn't. I didn't mean to. Oh, I am so confused. I was so confused. I'm so confused. Who is he? Is he Beto? Is he Kendall? Is he little Juan? So many names. I get so confused. We should stop doing it forever. Excuse me. My name is Susanna. I used to be an intern here. I'm not really sure what happened. I just, one day, the doors were just locked. Um, I still, I still miss, was it sent? Yeah. I liked you, bro. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. Little Juan. Little Juan. Hey, dude. Hey, I never said less to stop her. Didn't you? Somebody said something. Didn't you? About my pronunciation.

1:44:51Maybe it was some listeners. I liked it, dude. I liked Dave Matthews, bro. It was Woods that didn't want to do Dave Matthews. You better not ban my peanuts. You better not ban my peanuts. You better not, better not, better not. Is he saying peanuts? Peanuts. I hope. I hope it's the other thing. That was the first time that Woods ever really scared my kids. Yeah, that was. So funny. First of many. Out of nowhere. The second time was Heath Bell, and the third time was getting a ride home from the 5-0. Technically, that was the first time. Technically, that was the first. That's right. That was about a month into the job. Two weeks. About three weeks. 22 shows. Remember Topper? Can I just dig everyone up today, or what? I think Topper and Sabrina are dating now. Well, this is Halloween. We're going to the Celebrity Graveyard. Celebrity Graveyard. Yeah. All right, fine. I like Topper, too, dude. Do you? No, you didn't. I didn't? No. You didn't. I did. I loved him. Oh, man. I thought he was great. How come you don't do him anymore? Because you didn't. You said no more Topper. Remember that? Actually, your uncle. Your uncle, Mike, said no more Topper. I'm done with him. I hate him. Well, now that you mention it.

1:46:19I think Uncle Mikey did get tired of Topper. I remember that. But not Dave Matthews, dude. No, we love Dave Matthews. He told you that he liked it, but it was too much work for you to do at home. Yeah, that's true. Well, seeing as I'm sitting here with a fryer cut on my forehead, I'm willing to work for the show. Well, no, you're willing to do stunts. Yeah. But when you have to actually sit down and take time to put out effort, well, that's a pain in your butt. Really? Oh, man. Is that right? Yes. Isn't... Is that right? It... Kid does plenty of work for this show. And let's not forget about your pen pal. I know you're trying to escape that by going through a wheel of characters here. Why is it weird that I had a pen pal? It's not weird that you have one. It's weird that you have one. Yeah, you still write. Well, it's not even weird that you have a friend. It's weird that you call him your pen pal. That's the weird part. Yeah, why isn't he just like your Facebook friend? Your buddy. Yeah. I've always referred to him as my pen pal. Like when I've mentioned him to Rebecca, she knows who he is now. But in the beginning, I had to say my pen pal. Do you say, hey, pen pal, L-O-L-O-M-G? No, I'll say Mark. Right. So call him Mark to us. Well, I know, but here's the deal. I have a brother named Mark. My friend Mark.

1:47:45It works. Even with my wife, I distinguish. I'll say pen pal Mark. Do you still write letters or has it just gone to emails now? Yes, Jay. I use a quill. That's what I'm wondering. I use a singer typewriter. Yes, a singer typewriter and I type out letters. It's evolved. What's evolved? Oh, God. I'm dead. Right when I said it, I knew I shouldn't have said it. You knew you were dead. Gosh. As soon as it left your lips, you thought, oh, gosh. Stroking the beard. Yeah, stroking the beard. Stroking the beard. Have you ever met in person? No. He was from Aliquippa, Pennsylvania. Oh, wow. I don't know where that is. Steel Town, right? Maybe somewhere up in the Allegheny Mountains. Did he send you any body shots of him? Yes, Jay. You see, once I requested... Yes, you had to. Yes. You guys are both closeted by curious. By curious, right. And then you sent him pictures of a cleavage. Yep. Obviously. Ella B. Just because you're using J-voice doesn't mean. No, that was a genuine, that was J's next thought. It was. It was. Yeah, man. You couldn't take picture of yours because you haven't seen it yourself in five years. Oh, wow. Hey, Mike, remember? Hey, Mike.

1:49:06Hey, Mike, remember your feet? Nope. Nope. Sure don't. So long. Bye-bye. I mean, if a police sketch artist came in here right now, you couldn't even tell them what your feet look like. I mean, honestly, truly, I know why you sit down to pee. It's just because you can't find it. It's too lazy. So I'll just sit. What are you going to do, Mike? It'll find its own way, I guess. Yeah. I mean, you hope. It's called gravity, y'all. It's called gravity. You know what else it is? It's called Russian roulette. Yeah, exactly. You just hope and pray. You just plug the top of the toilet with your butt, and then everything else hangs down. Check. Oh, God. How many toilets you on, Mike? How many? One per cheek? What do you do? Well, no. I mean, how many you been through? Oh. I mean, are you on like toilet of the month club? Do you have a warranty on the toilet? You gotta have a warranty on it. Yeah. How long is the warranty? Oh, gosh. I am so dead. Oh, man. It's the uncomfortable alarm. Oh, gosh. Going off. Going off. Mike, I can see your...

1:50:41Corn slot. Corn slot? I believe that's what it's called. Coin slot. That's a lot of Mikey's corn. Yep. Coin slot at the Mikey-thon. It's really irrelevant. Let me tell you something. The only thing better than Jay making fun of me is when he gets so excited. That he can't spit it out. That's a lot of Mikey's coin. Yep. She can't say it. Coin slot at the Mikey-thon. Oh, God. Is that Joe Montana? Joe Montana. Is she going to be put in the general population? Hopefully she gets put in the general populace, whatever it's called. General populace. There I go. Ah, the general. Oh, that might be my favorite one. The general populace. I got it now. Now I got it. Do you guys remember Don Knotts from 70s? Tim Conway, Don Knotts flick. Oh, man. By the way, that was the first one. I think we'd been on the air for a year. And we hadn't noticed or he hadn't said much. And when he said Don Knotts, it was like a floodgate opened. First of all, Woods leapt out of his chair. I did. I died. And the Hall of Famer.

1:52:06Whatever you think you know about this man is a revelerant. I want a soundboard, and I want to prank phone call people with Jay's clips. It's my favorite thing. I've listened to that one you just played one billion times. Whatever you think you know about this man is a revelerant. The greatest. Oh, boy. Oh, Jay, you'll be the best. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Wow. Now that one I don't understand because swift is a word. Yes. Swift is not a word. But he will sometimes leave the last letter off people's names. Like he'll say, freaking wood. He's a dad. Dads have to do that. My dad does that. All the time. Wood. He calls me Wood. I've worked with him for almost two years. Hey, Wood, you get that news story? I say, yes, I got it. And it's Woods. Should we put Wood of Wisdom on there? Yeah, Wood of Wisdom. Or he'll send me homework and say, make sure you have new release tomorrow. Not new releases. He even types it. New release. New release. It's the best. A flea flicker.

1:53:24I love him so much. I like the ones where he doesn't necessarily stutter over a word, but he says it with conviction. Irrevolent. Irrevolent. Here's another irrevolent. I guess it's irreverent. It's a rough word. It's a tongue twerk. I can't say it now without having to think about it. I can't do it. Hey, Jay, by the way, you are contagious. Yes. Because the other day I was doing... We were at lunch yesterday. I do it now. It's bad. It's a curse. It's a curse. I do it now. You probably heard it from somebody and it made you start doing it. We're going to make people start doing it all over San Diego. They're going to be in meetings, like a big pitch meeting. They're going to listen. True or false? This whole graph is a reveler in. Oops. True or false? This whole graph. Listen, I'll be in a serious conversation with my wife. Serious conversation. And I'll go, A. True or false? Is that something that you... It's just been adopted into my vocabulary. Matt does that too. My boyfriend Matt does it. You're like, listen, I'm sick of you crying woof, okay? No more... You're the little boy that cried woof. Oh, boy. Doesn't say that I shall not kill. Yep. I... I'm sorry? Doesn't say that I shall not kill. Come again? Doesn't say that I shall not kill.

1:54:51Okay, so I mess my words up every so often. I get it. Who else has a whole page dedicated to them? I do. And the poor guy has to load it himself. I email it over. Hey, Jay, I got this today. Oh, great. Insult to injury. Game over. I love it. Game is over. He planted it. All right, let's get back on track. Let's play Grabwood's Junk. Yeah. I'm in on that. Sign me up for that. It's not what you think. Longer than it's ever been. 570-1949 is the number. What we'll do is blindfold L-O-B. She's going to reach into Wood's pants. It's a pair of pants that's on our console. I don't mean it literally. Don't you? And then she will grab onto something and you call and ask a question and then take a guess.

1:55:52So you can say, is it pointy? Is it slick? Is it this? Is it that? You ask questions, and as you're listening, you're hearing those questions too, and you're trying to figure, oh, what is it? What is it? What is it? 570-1949. 570-1949. Or text them, 949mikey at gmail.com. We're coming to FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest, supported by Bex. October 22nd, 30th and University, featuring Everest. The Softback. Dead Feather Moon. The Style Tones. The Creepy Creeps. Low Volts. And the Heavy Guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food, German beer, and other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest.

1:56:59October 22nd at North Park. For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why. This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular... quality brand name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahicum, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range. This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Come in now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa, Plaza Comino Real in Carlsbad, San Marcos, El Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and bootworld.com.

1:58:07How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one in four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's. The simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours. It's go time at your Toyota dealer. They're here now. The cars, trucks, and SUVs you really want. With great deals on every new Toyota. Go for 0% financing and save thousands on eight of Toyota's best-selling models.

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2:00:14Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Air Force, 6 p.m. Thursday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino Post Game Show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again. 1-800-700-6617.

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2:03:18Park. Join them by signing up today at comensandiego.org. Log on to OvationHair.com now and get your special edition pink bottle of the Advanced Formula Cell Therapy and don't forget to select FM949 at checkout and you'll get a special introductory rate. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget FM949 for your special rate. A couple of problems clearing up this report brought to you by Advil Congestion Relief. Advil Congestion Relief treats the real problem of your sinus congestion, reducing swelling due to nasal inflammation. The right relief for the real problem. If you're taking I-5 northbound before Civic Center Drive is where they're clearing a wreck from the right lane, it's jamming things up all the way back to Industrial Boulevard. And we also have a problem in Escondido on the 15 southbound for Highway 78. It's a pickup truck and trailer stalled out in the third lane. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer, has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts. See your Toyota dealer for details. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom.

2:04:35Nobody want to go with me. Lauren. I'm a control freak. If I watch other people do things that I'd rather do, I'm like... Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. It makes it easier. You're too bad. Ducky real good? Yeah. Now I get all the Pretty in Pink references because of the Mikey thing. I saw like two minutes of Two and a Half Men, the old one, the other day. Yeah. And I was staring at John Cryer with a loathing in my heart. And I was looking at him going, I can't stand it. You're Ducky. You are Ducky with the white pointy shoes and the buckles coming over me. I don't like you. Not a fan of Ducky. You're my nerd character. Ducky. Why are you so over the top? But weren't people supposed to love Ducky? Yes. Yes, I think so. I did. I loved him and I still do. I mean. He was likable in some ways. Was he?

2:05:56In the end, when he told her to go for the guy, even though he was in love with her, it kind of erased all of his antics. I thought that was a bunch of BS. Like, what guy's going to do that? He loves her that much that he wants to be happy. In high school. In high school, you go for... You don't work that hard to give up in one second. You know what? Go for it. He was over it in like 30 seconds when that other chick was into it. Oh, which was also believable that some girl's going to be like, you. I want you. She is a dime. With the white shoes and the bolo tie. And your bolo tie collection. Wasn't that kind of John Hughes' bit? What? Bolo tie? That like kind of at the end of his movies, like. And somehow a total nerd, the hottest person in the world, would be like, dude, I want you. You just nailed it. Okay, Breakfast Club. You had Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald. Right. But Judd Nelson was hot. Well, yeah, he was hot, but he was from the wrong side of the track. She was a richie. Freaking weird science. At the end, the two guys get together with the two most popular girls in school, and they fall in love with these two girls.

2:07:04Pretty in Pink, that's his bit. He's all about the underdog. Yeah. He himself, I'm sure, was a little bit of a misfit. Mikey. I like it when the underdog does it because of their personality. I can relate. I tend to relate and like the James Spader character in Pretty in Pink. I like the guy that does the coke and says, smokes cigarettes and says, why are you dating a toilet? Yeah. Woods relates to the D. Yeah. I always related to the guy that had the naked girl on his chest and was drinking scotch at 17. In his parents' bedroom when they were out of town. It's true. This is what it is. Listen, I learned a long time ago, jerks got the girls. Listen, Spader was really good. I've never seen that movie. As old as it is, I thought Spader was... One of the most unforgettable characters I've ever seen in a movie. Who says stuff like he says in that movie? But so convincingly, too. So convincingly. Who wears his shirt open that far? He was great. You did. I did not. I mean, he's in The Office now, and he still pulls off that slimy yet likable. He's so great. He's one of my favorite actors. She just said it. You know what was so... I mean, is there a bigger douchebag in that movie? Like, he's such a jerk.

2:08:32Yet, he's such a jerk that there's almost something oddly likable about the character. Now you know how girls feel. Yes. That's what women feel. That's it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, what a sick, perverted world we live in. Why we go for jerks. Listen, women will always end up, their second marriage, marrying the really nice guy, like the ducky. But boy, that first one, that first go around, they go for the Spader. Oh, yeah. Which is why I tended to, when I was in my single days, lean more towards the Spader. I was ducky for a while. Didn't work. I wanted to get to second base. I wanted to make sex to girls. Listen, I became James Spader. Kids started making sex to girls. I was a morbidly obese ducky.

2:09:33That laugh L-O-B was uncalled for. It was involuntary. It was involuntary. I can always make them laugh. Everybody's BFF. Every girl's best friend. I would give a king's anthem to see your freaking yearbook. Oh, dude. It was not one page of it wasn't covered. That's what I'm saying. I want to see it. Oh, yeah. They loved me. Kim, my friend that came in. Kim was the hottest girl in school, and she spent every day with me. I was as far away from kissing Kim Yaffe as the East is from the West. All the way we were going to kiss her, she was choking on a peanut or something. Got him. Got him, Jay. Even then, she'd be like, isn't there a professional there? I'd rather die. Isn't there a life going around? I'd rather choke.

2:10:36Oh, God. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I ain't taking it. I don't want it. No, mouth, mouth. The only way she's going to hug you is if she broke a finger. Oh, you're dead, L.O.B. I don't get that, L.O.B. Ah, now you know the feeling. Oh, you're dead? You just signed your death certificate. Bring it. Signed it. Well, at least I'm married. Subtle. So subtle. So subtle. It's a really good go-to. At least I can still slay whoever I want. Can you? No, you can't. No, I can't. Your boyfriend right now was just like, excuse me? What did you just say? I mean, technically I could. Well, technically she could. No. Technically she could. I wouldn't be breaking any contractual agreement. No. And in the eyes of God, you'd be okay because you're not married. No. Well, part of it is. You have a boyfriend. You're committed. I know, I am. I know. But technically I wouldn't be. He just looked at his radio and said.

2:11:34What? I know. And he's listening. Poor thing. I love you, babe. I'm not going to cheat. Yeah, as far as you know. I could. I'm saying I could. If I wanted to. The offer is on the table. I mean, that's not what I meant. There's no offers. You better hit the button. Oh, my gosh. It's hot. Hey, everybody. We're all going to get laid. Oh, boy. She's just making me wonder. Oh, God. You can't play that drop. That drop gets me. It does. She gets all red. She's all hot and bothered. We had, a long time ago, had Rampage Jackson in, and he came in, and he had that big chain around his neck. L.O.B. She would have... She would have died. Yeah. She would have used... She would have been like...

2:12:33Can I smell your neck? Yeah, I would have polished it. The necklace. Don't even want to. Yeah, I don't want to. No more. Oh, it's so hot. I never thought I'd be the third creepiest person on the show. I never did. I never did. Yeah. I never thought I'd be number three in the pecking order of creep. Me either. You thought for sure I'm going to have to reel this guy in every day. I'm going to have to reel him in from his creepiness. I'm not that bad compared to these two. I am not that bad. In fact, my sensibilities have even changed a little bit. I get a little uncomfortable. I've reeled in most of the time. Are you? Are you? I got to let my hair down sometimes. You. Those mics go off. Oh, boy. And she will say something. My eyes get as big as saucers and my jaw drops open and there's dead silence in the room like a vacuum sucked all the air out. And she says it. It's always said the same way.

2:13:43In this kind of, like, just normal voice. It's never, it's always just, she will drop the craziest thing in a normal voice. My goal is to get you, Mike. Yes, everybody's. Everybody's. When the mics go off, I can say the filthy things. She says stuff that I go, oh, oh, oh, gosh. And you don't see it coming because I like to set it up as if I were just saying, hey, Mike, are you finished with that piece of paper? That's exactly how she does it. But it won't be that that she says. Because I like to wait. It'll hit you more if it sinks in. I like it when Mikey agrees with you for a minute. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. What? What? What'd you say? All right. So we have a pair of Woods pants. We are going to blindfold L.O.B. And L.O.B. is going to, the pants are on the console. L.O.B. is going to put her hands down Woods pants. Yeah, sign me up for that. And then she is, and you're going to guess. You're going to ask questions. Like you're going to say, well, is it this? Is it that? Is it this? Is it that?

2:14:56and she will describe it to you. This is going to be one of those breaks where I hope my parents are listening because I've been really on point so far. Very disgusting. Yes. Do we have blindfold for L.O.B.? I have my own. I'm just keeping up with the bed. Chris is going crazy out here looking for it. I can use my scarf. I do have a scarf. Oh, I have this. It's called a gimp mask. I don't want to know what Jay just pulled out. Ew, what is that? Oh, God, what is that disgusting sex toy? What is that, Jay? Is that what it is? It's warm. I took it off a mannequin, Mike, at Pennies. Mike, I was at Montgomery Wards. I know that they haven't had Montgomery Wards in a long time, but I found this on a mannequin at Montgomery Wards. 1980. Mike, do you remember Best? That's where I got it. I got it from Best. I got it at Price Club, Mike. Should I put my hands in? Yes. Oh, wow. She's touching it. And this is M1 Jose from Spring Valley. Jose, I want you to ask her a question about what she's touching and then guess what it is. I was hoping not to be first. Is it?

2:16:34It's not furry. M1, Zach from Vista. You didn't give him a guess. Jose. Sorry. It's a question and a guess. Sorry, a question and a guess. Zach from Vista. Is it round? It is not round. In fact, it is rectangular. What is your guess? Very strange. Is Marlboro Lights? It is not Marlboro Lights. Good guess, though. M1. Jennifer from Poway. It is cold. Is it a soda can? It is not a soda can. Sorry about that. Don't know why we're clapping. Remember we said rectangular. Rectangular. Rectangular and cold. M1. Mark from Spring Valley. Is it electronic? It is not electronic. M1. Da Bears from Fallbrook. Is it metal? It is not metal. I'm going to... Can I guess? Yep, you can guess. I'm going to go with a Zippo. It is not a Zippo. It's bigger than a Zippo. Bigger than a Zippo. You know that. And one Jack from San Marcos. Thick. Is it cold? Yeah, we already said that, so you get another question. Oh. It is cold. It's cold. Is it an ice cream sandwich?

2:18:08Oh, that is a good guess. That is a good guess, but it's not. M1 Enrique from Santee. Does it have a round bottom? It does not have a round bottom, but it does have sort of like round-ish corners. They're not sharp corners. Is it yogurt? No, it is not yogurt. Rectangular. It's rectangular and it's solid. It's solid. It's rectangular. It's cold, probably because it's been refrigerated. M1 Momo from San Diego. Ask a question, then take a guess. Yes, it is. I believe it is. It is. It is not. That is a pretty good guess. It's thicker than butter. It's thicker than butter. Thicker than a stick of butter. M1 Alex from San Diego. Is it...

2:19:18You know, it gives a little, but it's mostly hard. It's firm, yeah. You know that. Ooh. Cream cheese. Ooh. Close, but no cigar. Oh, close. Man. Yes. Not bad. It's firmer than cream cheese. M1 One Million from San Diego. But it's not soft, right? It is solid, and it's, you know, it's mostly hard, but it's a little soft. It does give, it does have some give. Sometimes. Sometimes. Okay, is it a popsicle, is it? It is not a popsicle. But the longer you leave it out, I think the harder it would get. I think the longer you leave it out, the softer it would get. Yeah, me too. And, yeah, the longer you leave it out. The softer it would get? It would get, yeah. Eventually it would turn. Eventually it would get hard.

2:20:23It would? Yeah, especially like around the edges. It would? Yeah. Okay. M1 Amanda from San Diego. Hi. It is. It is sliceable. So it's edible and cold. And it's rectangular. Yes. Is it a block of cheese? Yeah! Now we can eat it. Now we can eat it. We don't care. Nice work. M1 Amanda. You got it. You got it. Jay, what did she win? She won, which I'm funny you should ask, a $20 power card to Dave and Buster's. There you go. Hang on the line, Amanda, and congratulations. Very well done. Woodsy, are you familiar with anything to do with Don Rickles? Yes. I love the guy. He was in Casino. He was in Casino. He's one of the most brilliant comedians ever. I think so, too.

2:21:29I think he's pretty funny. He was on Jimmy Kimmel. He doesn't give. John, I want to ask you, have you ever, would you watch Dancing with the Stars? Religiously. Do you? No, I do. I do watch it. Have they asked you to do that show? They did, but the paramedics don't want to work those hours. No, they did. I was very flattered. I did. You know, but you dance, you dance. When you get to be my age, you know, you do a turning, you probably screw yourself into the floor. Right. It's a great, it's a wonderful show. I don't want to get into it, but the voting is... Yeah, right. Well, something weird happened tonight. They have a different system. If somebody's half drunk and falling on the floor, the winner is Harry. It occurs to me that you would be the greatest reality show judge of all time. Have you ever considered doing something like that? Not since Hitler died. The guy doesn't care. No, he doesn't care. I've done some YouTubing on him before, and he is sharp. Yeah, he is. And he's one of those guys that a lot of people don't realize it, but, you know, he worked blue.

2:22:37Oh, yeah. He worked a bit blue. He's in that echelon with Red Fox, Richard Pryor. He's that good. Yeah. He's great. So L.O.B. was in Los Angeles and she was gathering some audio while she was in Los Angeles and happened to meet a young man named J.T. Chestnut. Can you tell me your name? J.T. Chestnut. And how old are you? I is 22 years old. And how many drinks have you had? I had about eight mimosas. What's a mimosa? What's owed? Wonderful, wonderful. So do you think you know some pop culture trivia questions? I am the pop culture trivia questions, all right? So, yeah. Did he hold his index finger up? Yes, and made it back and forth. Back and forth. With his head also zigzagging back and forth. All right. This season, Dancing with the Stars features America's first transgender contestant. What is his name? Chaz Bono. I'm gay, so yeah, Chaz Bono. Wonderful. Okay, question number two. Who took over for Meredith Vieira on the Today Show? Meredith Vieira. Oh, God. Okay, Meredith Vieira, Today Show. Rosie O'Donnell.

2:24:05Yeah. Ann Curry. Ann Curry of Asian, yeah. Wow. Is it wrong to say that she's Asian? She is Asian. She's Asian. Just the way he said it, though. Maybe he's racist. What position does Hillary Clinton hold in the Obama administration? Secretary of State. Damn! I would not have known that. What is the capital of California? Sacramento. What did he look like? He had short. He was African-American. He had what are those like cuts that are? Kid and play. Yes, kid and play type cut. He did? I thought I was making a joke. Not that high, but a flat top with little shaved things into the side. Wow. Grooves. Yes, exactly. He had bright pink sunglasses on. He had a midriff blue shirt on. Bright blue shirt. Much like this? Yes, just like that. Oh, wow. And then he had these little tiny short shorts. You silly sausage. And high top Reeboks on.

2:25:30Colored. Outstanding. Rebox. No, African-American. No, then Rebox. He's an African-American. Jeez, Lord. African-American guy. When we come back, you get to hear him sing a Whitney Houston song? Uh-huh. Thank you, Jesus. He said, you know, I actually do a good Whitney Houston. And I said, hold on a second. Let me turn this back on. Outstanding. Hello. Hi, gorgeous. Good job. Here's casting. Excellent job. Huh? Mikey. 570-1949. Uh-huh. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9. How to come here.

2:26:18Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Friday night, Bring on the Bright Lights presents Cut Copy at 4th and B. Foo Fighters are next Monday, the 17th. Rocktoberfest is the 22nd in North Park with Everest, the Soft Pack, Low Volt, and a bunch of other bands. The Lemonheads play Soda Bar on the 29th. And that same night, you can see the Boxer Rebellion. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. In music news, Cricket Wireless is making huge headlines with Move Music. It's the only smartphone plan that gives you nationwide talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads, starting at only $55 a month with no contract. Thanks, Dave. Now the forecast forecast.

2:27:18That's what apps are for. Not just weather, but Facebook, Google, Shazam, and thousands more. Plus, all your favorite songs sent right to your smartphone. Wow, much more exciting than the weather. So does this mean I'm out of a job? Well, you'll have plenty of time to start downloading music. That's no paying for every song, syncing, or annoying contracts. With mood music, only a cricket. Visit a cricket store or mycricket.com today. So smart. So Cricket. Covers now available everywhere. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricket's fair use policy. Terms and restrictions supply. Get the Samsung Vitality featuring Move Music for only $179.99 and get a personal Samsung speaker absolutely free for a limited time at participating locations. That's nationwide talk, text, and data. And unlimited music with no contract. All on your Android-powered device. Visit a Cricket store or mycricket.com. So smart, so Cricket. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. That's right. Gotta tell you, man, where I'm gonna be hanging out this weekend is one of my favorite places. It is Dave and Buster's. And I'll tell you, I'm not a big workout guy, so what I do is I go to Dave and Buster's and I play basketball. And there's a quarterback challenge game that when I'm done, my heart is racing, I'm sweating profusely, and I feel like I actually did something other than just go play games.

2:28:32I leave there having had so much fun. I want you to come join me. It's this Sunday from 1 to 3. It's Dave & Buster's. It's in Mission Valley. So it's at 2931 Camino del Rio North. Come down. Listen, hoops are on me, man. We'll play hoops. You can get a chance to win some gift cards, some Dave & Buster's gift cards, all kinds of concert tickets. We're going to be giving away a ton of stuff. And you know what? The Chargers are off. You have no excuse. To not come hang out with your boy, your old pal, Woodsy, who's going to take care of you. It's one to three. It's Sunday. It's Dave and Buster's in Mission Valley. It's Dave and Buster's Eat, Drink, Play Football. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say use some imagination. I mean, roses, really? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter, spa treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Rincon, we get you. After all, life is short, and it should be played or smelled for all it's worth. Harrah's Rincon. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Luis Samuel Indians. Managed by H. Cal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars License Company, LLC. All hail Hambler, the god of hamburgers. Thank you, it tastes glorious. Thank you, thank you for your greatest creation. The Steakhouse Burger from Cars Jr.

2:29:53The new Steakhouse $6 burger from Carl's Jr. 100% black Angus beef, crumbled blue cheese, crispy onion strings, and A1 steak sauce. Tastes like it's made by the god of hamburgers. And that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, A1 is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods. What does it take to be the most premium brand of cold cuts? What does it take to become the most highly thought of line of cold cuts in America? What does it take to be Boar's Head? Very simply, an unwavering commitment to quality. Insisting on only the highest quality meats and cheeses without fillers, without scraps, without artificial anything. With no shortcuts and no compromises. Now, what does it take to be a first-rate supermarket or sandwich shop? An unwavering commitment to quality. A stubborn insistence on carrying only the best. And a desire to train your staff to deliver service that lives up to the high-quality products you sell. It's why the truly great grocery stores and independent markets across America insist on carrying Boar's Head. Because you can't become a first-rate market by selling second-rate cold cuts. Boar's Head.

2:31:03This is Dan Tullis, and I just called Joel Ark, one of Select Quote Insurance Services' term life agents. Hi, Mr. Tullis. Joel, how does Select Quote save you money on term life insurance? Well, buy depressants or you smoke. Orange companies are going to price that differently. We'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to find you the best price. Can you give me an example? Sure. 40 years old, who takes blood pressure medication. A $500,000 policy with a highly rated insurance company is $21 a month. Call 1-800-400-2160 and see how affordable term life insurance can be. That's 1-800-400-2160. 1-800-400-2160. Or go to selectquote.com. We shop, you save.

2:32:00Get full details on the example policy at selectquote.com slash commercials. Your price could vary depending on your health-issuing company and other factors. Not available in all states. Hey, everyone. This is L.O.B., and I want to tell you why right now is the best time for you to try ovation cell therapy. You've heard me talk about the new advanced formula, which is sulfate and paraben-free. leaving your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and softer than ever before. Well, let me give you another reason why you should try Ovation. They are participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October by featuring a special edition pink bottle of their Advanced Formula Cell Therapy with a portion of each purchase going back to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. In addition to these funds raised, the Ovation Nation team is going to be out at the Susan G. Komen San Diego's Race for the Cure on November 6th, held in Balboa. Join them by signing up today at comansandiego.org. Log on to ovationhair.com now and get your special edition pink bottle of the Advanced Formula Cell Therapy. And don't forget to select FM949.

2:33:00at checkout and you'll get a special introductory rate. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget FM949 for your special rate. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM949 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM949SD.com for details. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. After years of being humiliated on the playground. and having your bad hair and thick glasses ridiculed, and mixing plaids with stripes. Who's the nerd now, huh? HelpWantedSanDiego.com invites all IT professionals to post their resumes with us. Local employers are currently seeking to fill IT, sales, programming, and medical jobs. So, nina, nina, nina, Mr. Popular. HelpWantedSanDiego.com. Long name, amazing results.

2:34:21Some new problems for drivers. Watch out for a new crash reported on Highway 78. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the expert C or Toyota dealer for details. Highway 78 eastbound after Emerald Drive. Watch out for an accident. Definitely going to slow you down. If you're taking the 8 westbound for Highway 125 multi-vehicle crash, CHP stopping traffic to try. And get it over to the right shoulder. This report also brought to you by IHOP. IHOP's trick-or-treat all-you-can-eat pancakes are back, starting at $4.99. Stack after stack of those scary, delicious buttermilk pancakes every day in October. Make it an IHOP day. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. Come on, get up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself on FM 94.9. All right. As promised, JT Chestnut, gay African-American man that Ella B. met when she was in Los Angeles, wanted to do Whitney Houston. Okay, here we go.

2:36:34Oh, no. Take it down. Take it down. Oh, I lose control. I can't seem to get enough. Oh, wow. Whoa. Oh, no. Okay. Oh, God. Uh-oh. Yeah, there we go. There you go. And you got it. There you go. Yeah. Wow. Two main mimosas. Wow. His throat was a little dry. Oh, wow. That was something. Yeah. That was something. Don't know what it was, but it was something. Someone in the background yelled, you're a genius, dude. I concur. Yeah. You don't find gold like that very often. No. This will not come as a surprise to a lot of people, but men are more annoying than women. Now, hang on. Hear me. Words. Wait a minute. Hear this out. They just did. They just did a study. Okay. Fake study. So these women were doing the study. One in four men could only come up with one pet peeve that they could think of about women. One in five women listed more than five. I believe that. I do too. I can get behind it. I do too. You know, honestly, when we think of things that genuinely bother us about women,

2:38:05Men are easily taken by women. Women are not as easily taken by us guys. It's true. Okay. Gosh, we will do some goofy stuff for women. Now listen to this. The biggest pet peeve for women is when their date smells. Duh. Almost half of all the women listed that as a complaint. I thought that was an incredible statistic. I've never heard of that. I've never heard of a woman going out on a date and the guy smells. I've never heard of that. No. It's a deal breaker. It's done. There's no coming back from that. No.

2:38:51But who is that guy? Who's that guy? Nervous guy? Well, see, I don't think he's like, you know... Nervous guy, lazy guy. I think he's like a good-looking guy. There's plenty of really good-looking guys that just didn't bother to... Like, maybe they splash some water on their face and they change their shirt. Jay... I'm a cleaner. Are you... You use a rock for your deodorant. A crystal. It handles it. A crystal. A pink crystal. I would like ladies to call if they've been on a date with a guy that looks seemingly normal, but he smelled. Because that tripped me out. Half of the men said that their biggest pet peeve was when their date was too occupied with their cell phone. I feel like men do that more than women. They say that the women, this study says that women are more likely to do it than men. Can you imagine being on a date with a girl and she's freaking in her phone? It would be like being on a date with you or Mike. Well, you know, fake lunch. We wouldn't know about that. Yeah, fake lunch. You would have actually no idea what we do during the course of a meal, fake lunch. Fake lunch. Fake lunch. Yes, I had a lunch date with my boyfriend. I'm sorry. Lauren's got fake lunch. I'm sorry I couldn't go to a last minute bro fest with you guys. She won't eat with us.

2:40:19Because she hates us so. And she says, I got a date lunch already. You guys are really synced up there. We're really mind melding. Yes. You guys are bad influences. I had a lunch with my boyfriend. Yeah, fake lunch. Every time we ask her. Every time. Every time? Every time. The three times you guys have asked me. LB, come with us. I can't. You guys impulsively decide. I got to be in Pittsburgh at four. You guys impulsively decide. Oh, yeah, we don't have any obligations. Ever. Let's blow off the rest of the afternoon and go look at each other and do bits all day. Yes. I have plans that I've made and obligations. Sorry we want to spend time. Sorry that we want to forge chemistry. For our program. Fake lunch. You guys decide last minute. I've got plans. Lauren's got fake lunch. It was a real lunch. With a fake boyfriend. He is a fake boyfriend. And she's made him up. George class. George class. So she don't have to.

2:41:30Go to lunch with us today. It was very convenient. Or any other day. Did you guys overeat real good? See, you can form that chemistry by hanging out. Yeah. See how we're on the same page? Took you guys three verses together. Yes, we did have hush puppies. Fried shrimp. Don't worry about it. Dad, gosh, gosh. It's a big fried platter. Sorry when I was... Where is the recap? Keep going, Jay. Wait till you hear this. Listen to this. Where is it? You looked real good in your skirt that you were wearing yesterday. Jay's recap. It's a bib. A bib. You have a bib. Yesterday I finally got back to my fighting weight. Five exclamation points. Yep. What is your fighting weight? It's 173. That's what I started the show as. And then I started eating with you clowns every day. It has taken me... Almost a year to get back to where I was before I started working on the Mackie show. True story, my friend. It's crazy how much food's always around. Ten plus pounds out of nowhere. Me too, but me too. Plus, Chris goes out every morning, sometimes twice, to get the show breakfast.

2:42:42Ever just don't get enough the first round after sending him back out? That's not a true statement. It isn't. It has never happened. Never once. No, it isn't. No, what happens is I'll go, all right, I do want breakfast. I'll say, I don't want breakfast. Somebody gets breakfast. He comes back and I'm like, I do want breakfast. I'm sorry. And that happened one time. Yes. I don't eat and then go, I need more. Go back to Einstein. I think he got oatmeal one time and then had Einstein. What's oatmeal? It's got oats in it. Plus, Chris goes out every morning, sometimes twice to get to show breakfast. I stopped getting breakfast cold turkey last December. God! I also had to cut Cokes, candy bars, beer. Getting on a regular workout routine. Feels real good. So instead of beer, it's moonshine? I don't think you've stopped drinking. Vodka on ice. What is vodka? Me too, me too. Vodka on ice. Vodka. Let me finish telling you the pet peeve bit. Oh my God. Jay is my pet peeve. So, dudes don't like it when chicks are on their cell phones. Says, cell phones were women's second biggest complaint in terms of us dudes. That was their second biggest complaint. First one. By the way, we're not getting any women that call that say that dudes stink on dates.

2:44:02I thought that was weird. I wonder if it was multiple choice, and they put that on there, and they're like, yes, that would be a terrible chick. Identical woman. Here were the other things. Talking about yourself too much was the fourth worst thing. Yeah, we're called the Mike Jones. Such a horse ass. I've never do that. Gosh darn. And they start an elevator on an airplane. And asking her too many questions about herself was right behind that. So basically women don't like anything. Pretty much. Well, they like you to pay. I know that. Yeah. For men. It's hot in here. For men, smelliness was second. Like, what guy's been on a date with a smelly chick? Followed by lateness. Too many questions was fourth, and too much makeup was fifth. Too many questions is a big one for me. Shut up with your riddling me. Quit riddling me. The Riddler. Are you on the school paper? Are you doing a report? I am a Riddler. Bad smells kill it for me. Like bad breath. Cigarettes. Bad breath isn't on here. Fried food, but smell. Smelly. Odorous. Food stuck in their teeth or something. What kind of broads are you going out with? I get food stuck in my teeth. I don't mind the food as long as you've brushed in the last month. I think I only have one.

2:45:28And it would be lateness. Yikes. I would never be able to date any of you guys. I'm late. I get pepper stuck in my teeth. You're riddling with questions. I ask so many questions. Half of the women say that sexual innuendo on a first date annoyed them. But only one in 11 men were bothered by it. Weird. I appreciate it. Are you that? I read that, Woods, and I go, who's that dude? Woods is that guy. You make a freaking sexual innuendo? ABC, pal. Always be closing. Always. Be closing. No, ABC. Always be a creep. Always be a creep. That's a creep. Who's the one in an 11 guy that's bothered by a girl making a sexual innuendo? A gay guy. No, you're not. Yes, I am. I'm bothered by it completely. I think it's inappropriate. I don't think she should do it. God, that's the raddest if they do. Yeah, it is. It wouldn't be for me. Honestly, if I were single, that'd be a deal breaker. Chick made a sexual innuendo on a first date. If a girl made a sexual innuendo on a first date, I'd go, this chick slays everything she comes across. What if it was a funny joke? Give me an example. No, don't. Don't. Don't. Do not. Don't. Don't. Oh, wow. Let's see. He'll be like, that's all I do. That's what I do for a living. That's what I do. What if I were to beep? Beep. Beep.

2:46:53When it comes to appearance, too much body hair was women's biggest pet peeve. I can't help it. Followed by inappropriate clothes. Dressing badly was tops for men. Followed by crooked teeth. Unless it's Jewel, I think that's cute. I think the Jewel thing is cute. It's because she's got big boobs. That's not why. I think it's kind of cute. A small imperfection, I think, is cute. I think it's kind of cute. It's character. Yeah. I mean, I don't think a guy wants to date a saber-toothed tiger, but I think that a little imperfection is kind of cute. Yeah, I do too. Let's see. There was another one I really, really liked, and it was kind of along. Gosh, Jay, he's just wanting me to just break all the time. I'm purposefully not going to. All right, listen to this. This was good. I like this one. Oh, no, no, no. Where is it, L.O.B.? Remember that other one I gave you, and I was all worked up? Oh, oh, oh. No, no, no. No, but this one. I love this. I loved this. Okay, first of all, L.O.B. Yes. When you order a drink, what's your go-to? Lately, it's been vodka soda. Okay. So when you order the vodka soda, it comes in a small glass. Yes. Okay, describe to me, and who are you with? Usually with my boyfriend, but sometimes with some friends. Girlfriends. How do you hold your drink?

2:48:18I hold it with my pinky out, but not on purpose. It's just what happens. It's just what happens. Okay. Men and women, how you hold your drink says what kind of personality you have and how people should approach you. Listen to this. There's the flirt. L-O-B. Listen to this. Weird. A woman who holds her glass in a provocative way with her finger splayed. She might hold her drink over her chest. to draw attention to her cleavage or peer over the rim to check you out as she's taking a sip. I do a lot of playing with the straw. There's that too. That's coming up. I do that, yeah. That's coming up. According to this study that was done, she may tease the rim of the glass with her finger, perhaps dipping it into the drink and then sucking her finger.

2:49:19Oh my gosh. You've seen it. What girl is doing that? Oh, I do it, actually. You do it? Well, because I squeeze a lime in, and then I get lime on my fingers. Girls can do that, and a guy's like, oh, you dirty, slutty. You want it, don't you? Oh, gosh. She's like, no, I put lime on my finger. Explains the guys I was attracting. Then there is the gossip. A woman who holds a wine glass by the bowl. She's a gossip. And uses it as a prop to gesticulate and make points with it. You little gossipy bee. I see it. Yes. I can see it in my... Oh, man. She tends to cluster in a group with other women, and she's critical. Some women will actually take... I have friends that do this. They take their drink to be like, have you seen... Oh, it's coming... All of these, L.O.B., you're going to love this. You're going to love this because these people that you're mentioning, they're here. You, with the thing, with the stirrer. Okay, about the gossip, okay? She also likes to lean in over her drink towards other people so she can speak more honestly and more confidential to them. I know you. Oh, I know you. I know her. I know you. She already has a close-knit social group, and she's not.

2:50:41Looking to extend it. Wow. Butthole. I know you so good. Oh, I know her. I know you, girl. I've seen her. Then there's the ice queen. That's the chick who drinks from a wine glass or a short cocktail and holds it real firmly as a barrier across her body. Yes, LLB. Oh, God, that's Mother Hen right there, dude. She's cold. She's defensive. Yeah. She doesn't want to be approached. She does not want you to slay her friends. No. And she will put you down. What are you guys doing here? Yeah. So you're the girl that's holding that. Okay. So let me draw the picture here. You got the drink. And your knuckles are against your chest close to your throat. You're holding it there. They're white. Yes. Because you're clutching. Because you're clutching it. And you're looking. You're not smiling at all. You are not smiling. And you're talking to your friends, and every once in a while, you'll look at someone. Judgingly. God, I'm so attracted to her. Let me tell you something, dude. Let me tell you. She ain't attracted to you, and I don't care if you're Brad Pitt. It doesn't matter who you are. You come up to her, she is going to put... She's the girl that goes like this. We're talking.

2:51:55Can you wait? We're talking. I love that. God, I love that. Why do you love that? Because when you win her over, you're not going to win it. She's decided you're not. I've gotten her before. I've gotten her before. You can get her. Listen, you know what works with that broad? Humor and self-deprecation. That's right. And if you can get her, brace yourself. Real good. Oh, my gosh. About to tie one on. Ab. Absolutely. You made it tied up. I just felt like I got an STD from hearing you say that. Mike, humor and self-deprecation to that girl, you will crack that shell. Oh, yes, you will. You can take her down. Yeah! You've also just opened the floodgates for all your buddies to get to... The rest of her pack. I'm telling you, dude. You've broken the block. Those are the best. The ones that are falling down with their drinks and they're all licking their fingers and they got skinned up knees. Listen. What about the flirty, confident girl? No, I'm about to tell you the girl that I think is the coolest. Number four. She's the fun lover. Someone who likes to drink beer from the bottle, hold it loosely by her shoulder, take short swigs so they don't miss out on anything in the conversation. Usually a little heftier than the rest.

2:53:11What? No, I drink beer from a bottle. He just got up and he's hiding. He's hiding because he knew that one was bad. You know what? He just threw an insult grenade and then ran from the shrapnel. I've been so self-conscious about drinking beer from a bottle ever since you said your Hungarian... Nanny. Nanny Nita. In Hungary. I know, but I've been so self-conscious that I look like a dirty slob. In Hungary. No. In Hungary. Not here. She said... In Budapest, if you go to club and a girl is drinking from bottle, that girl is like disgusting. She's the girl that you see that is falling asleep because she's so drunk. And I prefer the bottle because I feel like they're cleaner than the taps. That's not American culture. There, if a girl is like sophisticated. she will put it in a glass. Drinking it from the bottle is for a hobo girl. Fun-loving girl? A gypsy, you know. Fun-loving girl is also potentially borderline alcoholic, okay? I'm telling you. Well, according to this, it means you're friendly, you're lively, you like being with your friends, you like to laugh, you drink to be sociable. A little heftier than that? No, no. You're always down to meet new people. Of course you are. You're open. You're just a nice person. You're low maintenance. You're hefty. You're low maintenance. You would understand that. Chubby. Stop!

2:54:32It was. Hello, baby. Hello, baby. I have more. I have more. I have more. I have more. I love this. I have more. And the next one, there's a couple guys that I described. There's guys in here. Can't wait. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Scream if you can. Because when your throat is choked with fear, you may struggle to blurt out a silent scream or a really loud one.

2:55:21It's the familiar sound of Halloween in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds, where you come every year to face your fears, confront your demons, in a manner of speaking. And this Halloween, the last sound you hear may be your own or theirs in the Scream Zone. The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone now through Halloween. Climb aboard the Haunted Hayride or enter the House of Horror or the Chamber. Three terrifying ways to scare the life out of you. For hours, tickets, and information, visit thescreamzone.com. Yeah, it's true our economy's bad. That's why they're out there, right? Well, listen, if our economy's bad, do the best that you can to save money. Listen, you don't have to do your homework. I've done it for you. Call AIS. I did the homework for you. You don't even have to. I'm telling you a way to save money. It's called AIS. On average, people that call AIS save $500 a year on their auto insurance. It's real numbers. Another real number, $1,600. It's how much I save per year by switching from my old insurance, farmers, to AIS. And, by the way, AIS got me a company.

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2:58:20So I'm at Verizon, shopping for 4G. And I say to the sales guy, listen, I want Verizon 4G LTE speed, but I also want selection. And he goes, we've got a ton of advanced Verizon 4G LTE devices, like the new Droid Bionic by Motorola, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1, or the MiFi 4510L mobile hotspot that lets you connect up to five Wi-Fi enabled devices. So I say, smartphones, tablets, and hotspots. Not bad. But in my head I'm thinking, is it the 10, the 5, touchdown! And then I say, yeah, but is Verizon 4G LTE really that fast? And he says, yep, up to 10 times faster than 3G. Whoa. And now I'm going, they're going for two. Got it. Come to Verizon for the largest selection of 4G LTE devices. Verizon 4G LTE. Over 140 cities and counting. Visit any Verizon store today. VerizonWireless.com slash 4G LTE. Or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com slash 4G LTE. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football.

2:59:33Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Air Force, 6 p.m. Thursday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Feeling stressed lately? Well, HalfPriceSanDiego.com is here to help. The Healing Arts Massage and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach has been providing professional quality massages for over 20 years now. 60-minute massages are always $50, every day, every time. No monthly membership fees or student massages, simply the best massage value in town. It's always a professional therapist from the Healing Arts Massage and Wellness Center that will melt away the stress from your busy life. Open 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day, so treat yourself to a massage today. Half Price San Diego is excited to introduce Fill-A-Seat. San Diego dot com. Fill a seat. San Diego dot com offers members free tickets. Yes, you heard it correctly. Free tickets to area shows, concerts, sporting events and other entertainment. All you pay is a one time super low membership fee that can pay for itself after only one use. Fill a seat. San Diego dot com allows its members to experience top notch shows, concerts, sporting events and entertainment all over San Diego at a fraction of the retail cost. Check out these great deals and more at half price. San Diego dot com.

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3:01:56The 8 westbound, still a very difficult drive. This report brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Struggling to pay your mortgage? Financial assistance with no repayment required is available. For information, call 800-954-KEEP or visit keepyourhomecalifornia.org. Looks like they've cleared a crash on the 8 westbound right before the 5, but unfortunately it set the pace for very heavy traffic from before the 125. You're going to be on and off the brakes through that stretch. I'm also seeing a lot of heavy traffic on the 163. northbound right now from Kearney Village Road. Looks like it stays busy all the way up to the 52. This report also brought to you by Robitussin. Got a cold? Not sure what to take? Go to Robitussin.com and see how Robitussin has made it simpler than ever to get the right relief. Robitussin. Relief made simple. I'm Barbara Brooks, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the Internet. Lauren. I'm not a crier. Woods. I used to drink a lot. And Jay. How about you let me raise my own kid? On FM 94.9.

3:03:02Dance. I'm sure she's going to wait. All the way in on her. Weird. All right, so we're talking about how you hold your drink. Says what kind of personality you have. All right, so we left off with the fun lover. I like the fun lover. She's happy and just chill. Alcoholic. No. Possibly. No. Drinks a lot. Drinks six days a week. No. Yes. She doesn't. Every girl that drinks a bottle of beer. No, not one bottle of beer. She goes out six nights a week. If she's an alcoholic, she's not drinking beer. Yeah, that's true. True. Wait. Yeah, if she's an alcoholic, she's probably on harder stuff. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Got to do it as fast as you can. Are you telling me that you can't be an alcoholic by just drinking beer? No, you can. Yeah, you can. Usually you progress. You stepped up your game. Yeah, you progress. You want to get there faster. The wallflower. All right.

3:04:28This is the wallflower chick. She holds her drink protectively and doesn't let go. It's like you're afraid somebody's going to take it. Your palms are hidden and the drink's never finished. There's always a mouthful left in case of an emergency. Obviously, it means that you're shy and submissive and you're using the drink as a social crutch. If there's a straw, you fidget with it. No. And you stir the drink between sips. I do. You copy the pace of the drinking around you. With wallflowers, you have to take it easy. They need to be approached with a few subtle compliments to build the self-confidence. And maybe chloroform. What? Number six is a guy. Stop it. All right, he's the player. Oh, boy.

3:05:27A guy with a tall glass, cocktail, or a bottle who uses it as a phallic prop. What? And plays with it suggestively. What? He's self-confident. What? Possessive. What? And can get a little handsy with the women around him. What? Men too. And get away with it. What? That's a true statement. That is Woods. That's Woods. He's the player. That is Stephen R. Woods. You're known as the player. Player. Been called worse. Number seven is the peacock. Jay. The peacock is the player who's actually more into himself. Jay. 100%. If Jay could, well, we all know what I'm going to say. If Jay could, he would. He would remove ribs in order to do so. He spreads himself over as much space as possible, like pushing the glass away and leaning back in his chair. What? I'm a little of that. He's overconfident. What? What? Arrogant. Yep. What? And would rather just drink with his friends. What? No, see, that's not true. I went out with a mission. What?

3:06:39Not me. Oh, yeah, fake boys. Hi, y'all. It's Woods. Hi, y'all. Hi. Then there's the brow beater. This is the last one. The brow beater. A verbally hostile know-it-all, Jay. Can't help it if I'm right. What's up? Who prefers large pint glasses or bottles. Jay. I have more bang for my buck. Well, yes, it's from Chaper. Bring my own. Make my own. So again, a verbally hostile know-it-all who prefers large pint glasses or bottles, grasps them firmly, gesticulates in a threatening in-your-face way, and is always making fun of other people. Jay! Jay Isabel. Hey, Debbie, you having another one? All right, chubs, get some hot wings for him. I hate that guy. It's Jay. If you can't handle it,

3:07:40Don't bother. Yep. Yep. Let me tell you. Yes, Jay. And when I met that guy over at the Clear Channel, you'd have never known it. No, hell no. Sweetest. I'm a sweet guy. Sweetest little sweetie. He painted into a corner. Sweetie little sweetie pie. Yeah, I believe it. He'll get. He'll kill you. Don't you go on Wipeout with that guy. Don't cost that guy $25,000 that was already spent. And don't be friends with someone that costs him $25,000. Because you're getting it, too. Because you'll get it, too. Just for associating with the guy that lost the $25,000 on Wipeout. That you already had spent. Mm-hmm. Allocated. Oh, yeah. I had to take those CDs back. I got them damn things on credit. I showed him I was going on Wipeout. All we had to do was finish. All we had to do was finish. My goodness, Wood. Look at how fat you are. So I told you that I was reading a book, and the book was called World War Z. It's a zombie book. I've never read that, but it was good.

3:09:04And the way that it was depicted involved the military, and they thought that when it first happened, they thought it was rabies. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I can see that. And it wasn't done in the way that you see zombie movies. Goofy. Goofy. Right, it wasn't done that way. Maybe that's mummy. Yeah, but you got it. And it involved, and it was in countries like Israel and Vietnam, and they were quarantining people in Israel. And the way that it's written is from the perspective of a guy who is trying to put together a report for 9-11. Yeah. Saw the movie. It's called I Am Legend. Aren't those robots? No, they were zombies. They were zombies. I never saw it. It was like a disease. Well. Slam the brakes on them. Sorry. The book was good. The book was good. I didn't finish it, but I don't finish any books I start. And it's called World War Z. Well, Brad Pitt is going to star in the movie. And they're filming it, obviously, all over the world. And the guy that's directing it.

3:10:36I remember I was very in on, because he's not done, he hasn't done horror. He's done movies that look really real. And so I was like, wow, that's pretty interesting that that dude's doing it. Well, apparently it's too real. Because they were filming in Budapest, Hungary. Same place that our nanny is from. And SWAT teams raided the film set. And they have pictures of Brad Pitt. Like trying to help women out of the way that are like extras and stuff. The reason that they did was because they were using real AK-47s in the filming. I mean, they wanted it to look so real that they had real AKs. And some of them were not fully disabled and some of them were loaded. Oh my gosh, that's stupid. It's irresponsible. Well, yeah, it is because that's the way that...

3:11:36What's his name? Bruce Lee's kid. Brandon Lee. Yeah, that's how he died. Was he doing a bit? Like he put it up to his head or something? Well, I think so, yeah. But it was a loaded weapon that was on the production set. Good Lord. Cursed. But anyway, the Hungarian authorities swooped in and found 85 weapons. They were seized at a Budapest warehouse. And again, they were not... fully inoperable. Wow. Like they're supposed to be. Well done, Brad. But this movie is being done to look very real and not be like a burr. It's supposed to have a documentary type feel to it. That's cool. That's cool. I see that. Yeah. It is the new bit, but I'm in on it. It is the bit.

3:12:31And yeah, the book is interesting because it'll deal with a lot of stuff that you don't understand. Right. Because it's like very, it's real world politics and Israel and this. But it's interesting. That'd be me immediately. You know what? It kind of was until it got to the zombie stuff. Because what he does is he's interviewing people that were there. During the initial breakout. Right. And because it came in stages and there was a flight that they referred to through talking to people. There was a flight where somebody on board was affected, was infected. Somebody on board the flight. Imagine that. And so by the time the flight landed, you know, they couldn't get to the pilot. But by the time it landed. They had just brought it to the stateside. Right. And there's a part in it where he's talking to a woman in North County, San Diego, and he's interviewing her. And she said that when she first heard about it, everybody thought it was rabies. And there was a pharmaceutical company that came out with a medication that was like for rabies.

3:13:59And they were selling it to people even though they knew it wasn't going to help. But they were becoming rich. It's just a fake story, Jay. It's about zombies. It's about zombies. It's about zombies. I'm going to protest. It's about zombies. Do zombies eat you? Yeah. Oh, great. And so the pharmaceutical company is selling, and there was a name of the medication. They're selling this for people to get shots of it. And they are, and people feel kind of safe. Right. And this woman in the book is living in North County, San Diego, and she said that it was something that the kids used to try to woo each other about, right? And she said that her husband was watching TV, he was watching a football game, and he had the volume up really loud, and the dogs started barking. And she said that was normal, because sometimes there would be coyotes. They lived in North County, and there was wide open spaces, and sometimes the dogs would bark because of coyotes. And she said, but this time the dogs didn't stop barking. They were barking and barking and barking and barking. And she said that her 14-year-old daughter is upstairs doing her homework. And she said that the screen door, she heard the screen door smash down. And she was like, holy crap, somebody's breaking in. And it was one of them. Oh, boy.

3:15:25And her husband jumps up and the first thing he does is go upstairs to get to the daughter because he wants to protect his daughter. He doesn't even think about his wife. You know, he thinks about the daughter. So he runs upstairs and she runs upstairs after him. Was the dad Woody Allen? Wow. So she runs in after the dad into the bedroom. And as he opens the door. He goes to grab his little girl, and one of them comes through the window. Oh, my God. Typical zombie. Typical. That's freaking zombies. Now, as ridiculous as it is, I'm reading it, and you're reading it as if it's an account from someone. Right. Yeah. And he's asking her questions, and she's answering the questions, and it seems pretty real. She survived, then, I'm taking it. She survived. They all did. They, you know, because he grabs a gun, and... And that's the way that you kill zombies. You shoot them. Shoot them. In the head, if possible. Well, it's supposed to be like, I think that's the deal. Don't I need a silver bullet? No. No, it's a werewolf. It's a werewolf. Totally different. And so she said that they grabbed the daughter and there was black stuff everywhere. Ew. She said, she didn't know what it was, but there was like black stuff everywhere. And he's asking her, he's like, what do you mean black stuff?

3:16:50And she said, I don't know. It was like black stuff. It was everywhere. That stuff is intriguing to me. I mean, it was like interesting. And so they go down and they're able to get in the car. And she said, as he backed up, he ran. He hit one of them. That's what you do. As the dad was backing up, he hit one of them. And you can also get a cross. No, put it right in your heart. That's a Dracula. That's a Dracula. How old was the garlic around your neck? How old was the daughter? 14. Woods? And then he giggles. Then he just giggles. Hold on to that one. Woody Allen? I tried to get in there, but I saved it. I was going to make a joke. I was going to be a creep first, and then I was going to make a joke about wood. I still slipped it in. Yeah, I still got it in there. Yeah, I mean, one way or the other, you're going to hear my joke. You're going to get it.

3:17:50I'm going to shove it in your face. Still just as funny. Yeah. Mate, a lot of times my jokes are like a banana cream pie. And I'll just right in your face. Everyone laughs. Everyone laughs. Remember when like in the Three Stooges you just hit somebody on the head with a hammer? Boom. Remember that? Yep. It's hysterical. It was hysterical. Still works. Still works, man. It's gold. It's timeless. Ain't broke. Don't fix it. Mike eats the banana cream pie and the hammer, so. LLB? The new bit. You can't just get those jokes over just because you're doing jokes. What is that noise? What is that freaking noise? Nothing. What's he doing? What are you playing with? What's the matter with him? So, anyway. Anywho. crazy, man. We're on the radio. What, man? I didn't think you could hear it. I didn't realize you could hear it. What? What, y'all? Sitting here. I didn't realize it was audible. Audible. Now I will. I can pull the curtain back a little bit on J.R. Isbell. When I came in this, well.

3:19:29What's the big deal? What? When he woke me up this morning because I slept in the studio, I looked at him and I go... You can't just say that, Woods. What? You can't just say on the radio, he woke me up this morning because I slept in the studio. Anyway... Jamie and I got in a big fight and I had to sleep here. No, we went to a concert downtown and instead of the 45 minutes home, I go, I'm sleeping in the studio. I brought a bag, a blanket, and a pillow. I slept on the couch. Jamie slept here. Yeah. So he wakes me up this morning and I looked at him and I go, dude, you look... You look really tired. And he goes, I didn't sleep a lick. And I go, why? He goes, I worked out twice yesterday and I just couldn't shut my brain off. I couldn't turn it off. I was so tired. So I think that's why he's a little loopy is because he worked out so hard. Yeah. And he had to tell me. You asked. I worked out twice. It couldn't be that he couldn't shut his brain off. It was. He worked out. I worked out so hard twice. You know what? I've never done it before. I did 2,500 crunches instead of 1,200.

3:20:38And gosh, man, my stomach. My brain was like... It wouldn't shut off. It was just crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Love can't make sex. Crunch, love, sex. Climb, climb, ride, surf. Clinch, crunch. Edamame, edamame, edamame. Skate, Jasper. It's like you guys. Fried food, more fried food. Sweet food, sugar food. Nap, nap, nap. Lay down, lay down, lay down. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Refrigerator. Refrigerator. Cabinet. Look in the oven. Anything. Nope. Nothing in there. Barbecue pit. Nothing. Maybe lick it. Food were there yesterday. Maybe I suck on this steak. Just suck on it. It's a bone. I'll eat it. I don't care. It's got bone juice on it. Why wouldn't I? Dog food. There's dog food here. Dog's not eating it. I'm going to eat it myself. It's edible. Why wouldn't I eat it? Sugar cube. Found it. Got it from the YMCA down the street. Walk down there. Got it. I found a sugar cube at the YMCA. You know, you could have said pies, cakes, Snickers, dessert. Sugar cube. Dog food. And hey, listen, if you're going to find a sugar cube, where the hell are you going to find one? Duh. Hello. The YMCA. You're old school. Hey, babe.

3:22:13I'm making some coffee. You go down to the Y and get me some sugar. We're out. They just put it out there. I love how Jay's brain works. Me too. It's so fascinating. Yeah, you fatso finding some sugar cubes down at the YMCA. Yeah, I know you went to Bank of America and found a candy bar. Oh my. So gross. You went through somebody's desk and found some juicy fruit, Mike. You know it, Mike. Went to the DMV, stole some donuts. You know it, Mike. You know it. You know you were getting waffles at the unemployment office. Sugar cubes. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. All right, let's do it. Ask the dudes. 570-1949. Ladies are the only human beings allowed to call. Or gay men. And you are going to ask questions of me, Woods, and Jay. And we'll give you a real answer on how, you know, you want advice on a guy. You want, you know, we'll give you guy advice, all right? And we'll answer questions about how men think and all that stuff. So it's advice, thinking, everything.

3:23:52I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up. Just a couple. FM 94.9. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts present the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. Saturday afternoon, November 5th at Liberty Station. Celebrating FM 94.9's ninth anniversary. And the kickoff to Beer Week. Featuring two stages of beer-soaked live music. On the local 94.9 stage. Family Wagon. Dead Feather Moon. The Bloody Hollies. On the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. The Stone Foxes. Telekinesis. Matthew Sweet. performing his landmark girlfriend album in its entirety to celebrate its 20th anniversary. Taste beers from every corner of San Diego as we showcase all 32 members of the San Diego Brewers Guild pouring their hoppy, malty, and frothy best. Tickets are on sale now. Go to fm949sd.com or sdbw.org for more details. Good food.

3:25:03So I'm at Verizon, shopping for 4G, and I say to the sales guy, listen, I want Verizon 4G LTE speed, but I also want selection. And he goes, we've got a ton of advanced Verizon 4G LTE devices, like the new Droid Bionic by Motorola, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1, or the MiFi 4510L mobile hotspot that lets you connect up to five Wi-Fi enabled devices. So I say, smartphones, tablets, and hotspots. Not bad. But in my head I'm thinking, is it the 10, the 5, touchdown! And then I say, yeah, but is Verizon 4G LTE really that fast? And he says, yep, up to 10 times faster than 3G. Whoa. And now I'm going, they're going for two. Got it. Come to Verizon for the largest selection of 4G LTE devices. Verizon 4G LTE. Over 140 cities and counting. Visit any Verizon store today, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE. Policies issued by American General Life Insurance Company, Houston, Texas. Not available in all states. For details, visit matrixdirect.com. Sometimes I worry about what would happen to my family if I lost my job.

3:26:21But I never really thought about what would happen to them if they lost me, and I didn't have life insurance. My cousin's husband died, and now she might have to sell her house just to make ends meet. I don't ever want to put my wife through that. So I called Matrix Direct. Hi, I'm Brent Langdon for Matrix Direct. I feel so much better now that I called. It only takes five minutes to see how you could save up to 70%. Call now. 1-800-551-8505. 1-800-551-8505. October is here, everyone, so that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And, of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a...

3:27:37Free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after you run, you want to feast on something. And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays. And then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit Fearless Races. to register and get more information about that. That's fearlessraces.com. When you compare USAA Bank to other banks, it's easy to see what a difference military values can make. As a matter of integrity, we offer free checking with no monthly service fees and free use of any ATM nationwide. As a matter of principle, we charge one of the lowest rates in the nation on USAA Bank credit cards. And because we believe in being able to bank from anywhere, anytime, we offer mobile apps that make it possible to access your accounts and even deposit a check if you qualify. What makes USAA Bank so different can mean better banking for you starting right now. Go to usaa.com slash banking, call 800-531-8722, or visit us at one of two USAA Financial Center locations, Mission Valley and Oceanside.

3:28:57Some restrictions apply. No fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other bank's ATM fees. Credit cards provided by USAA Savings Bank and other bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank, both member FDIC. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four. Slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip.

3:29:59Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one-in-four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's, the simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers, and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why. This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular, quality, brand-name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahikam, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range. This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Coming now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa.

3:31:07Plaza Comino Real in Carlsbad, San Marcos, El Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and BootWorld.com. These days, you see a lot of boar's head wannabes. Brands of cold cuts that say, well, they're sort of, kind of, almost as good as boar's head. Truth is, they're not even close. Being borsaid means using only the best cuts of meat and the highest quality artisan cheese. These cost money, and wannabes won't spend it. Being borsaid means never using scraps or artificial colors, never cutting corners to save a few cents, never making compromises. Being borsaid also means only offering our products to stores that we trust will handle and serve them well. These stores want to stand for the best, and they know you can't be a first-rate store and sell second-rate cold cuts. So it's no surprise that the highest quality grocery stores and independent markets in America carry Boar's Head instead of the wannabes. What brand of cold cuts does your store sell? Boar's Head.

3:32:06Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boarshead Premium Deli Meats and Cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. IHOP's trick-or-treat all-you-can-eat pancakes are back starting at $4.99. Stack after stack of those scary, delicious buttermilk pancakes every day in October. Make it an IHOP day. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. Right. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. It's called Ask the Dudes. 570-1949. If you're a girl and you want to ask us guys a question, maybe you want to ask advice because you got a guy you like and you want to know, well, how do I, you know, something. You get three different perspectives. You get the perspective. You get my perspective. You get Wood's perspective. You get Jay's perspective. Jay's and Wood's, I think, there might be some.

3:33:20No, I was going to say your guys would probably be similar. Yeah. Is that wrong? That yours and Jay's will be similar? Jay, I don't agree on everything. They always are similar. They're similar in that. Well, like you guys are, you know, six sex perverts. Yeah, that's true. You know, that's all I meant. Well, you're a reformed six sex pervert. I am. So he says. Yes, I say it. But the truth is, I'm trolling hookers in El Cajon. Oh, we're going to find out, Mac. You're going to be like Jimmy Swaggart, aren't you? That's right. How the mighty have fallen, Mac. Oh, Mac. Just getting gay massages. I knew it. I knew it, Mac. Called that one years ago. So righteous. Oh, look at him now. Oh, righteous. On that massage table. Who's that little Asian boy, Mac? Who is he, Mac? Who is he? Who's that little Loatian? Hey, why are you heading down to TJ so much, Mike? Yeah, how do you know the roads are bad down there? Yeah, Mike. Only somebody that's buying Vicodin 50 at a time would know that. Why do you have so many Cambodia stamps on your passport, Mike? Hey, Mike. You been to Thailand lately, Mike? Lots of ladyboys there, Mike. Heeshies. Heeshies. Shims. Mike.

3:34:54I didn't realize until the other day I overheard you on the telephone speaking fluent Filipino. You manila nutcase. Sexy manila pervert. M1 Gabby from Poway, you there? Good morning. So, what's up with guys not being able to say they're sorry? That's an interesting question because I have, and I'm being genuine with you here. I feel that that would be more of the reverse. Yeah, me too. I honestly do. I feel like it's way more of a guy's responsibility to say, all right, I screwed up. I'm sorry. I very rarely find that a woman will go, you know what? I did that wrong. I screwed up. I'm really sorry about that. It was my fault. My bad.

3:35:53Woods, do you feel... I disagree 100. With her? I disagree with you and Jay. Oh. I think that she is dead on. I am... I will... To you guys, I will say, hey, listen, I'm sorry. I got that wrong or I screwed up. With my wife, it's like I can't do it. And it's so bad. It's a blockage. Dude, I pitched... I do that with Rebecca. Brother... I pitched a fit last night before we went to that concert of epic proportions. And all she did was ask me where the toothpaste was. And I'm talking. I'm pulling stuff out of the cabinet. Like, will you help us? You can't find it. I'm that guy. I don't know what happened to me, but I snapped. Because of toothpaste. And I couldn't say I'm sorry. We drove to the concert in silence. Oh, my God. Silence. And it was in my throat to go. Babe, I'm really sorry. I couldn't do it. I'm so sorry. I can say it now. I love you. I'm sorry. It was in my throat. I think it's easier for the guys as they get older. I've learned to just say I'm sorry, even if I don't mean it. Even if you don't mean it? Even if it's going to make things better, and I know we're going to get to a happy point again, I think the point's been made. I'm like, honey, I'm sorry. I know you're sorry as well. I will only do it if I thoughtfully consider it.

3:37:14And I believe that I'm wrong. You're a big, you take a while. Like, you will really think about it. Yeah. And, like, think, was I really wrong? Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm more in the J camp. If I do do it, it's usually just to smooth things out. Yeah. I want to know if I'm wrong. I want to know if I'm wrong. And I also won't accept it if I analyze it and give it. thoughtful perspective and then go, no, I don't think that was wrong. But then I'll also think about it and go, yeah, I see where she's coming from on that. Yeah, I really agree with you, M1 Gabby, that it's something in a man that I try to, like, I won't apologize, but I'll disarm the situation. We'll be driving and I'll reach over and squeeze her leg or something. And I'm like, why don't you stop being in a bad mood? That was a little high up. Why don't we apologize more? That way we can get to the makeup sex already. Yeah. Oh, I like your style. Yeah. You know, I hope this isn't too personal. And my wife, I know, will forgive me. I don't think we're big makeup sex people. No, we aren't either.

3:38:29You know, some people really. I always thought that was a bit. It's a fake. Because people talk about that like it's so great. I don't know that I've ever had it. Oh, my God. To be honest with you. To be honest with you, I don't know that I've ever had. I had it when I was young. Well, it was more like. Where you fight and then you make up. It was breakup. I think it's breakup sex. We used to break up then get back together. And then it was. I guess you. Break up to makeup. That's all. We do. But what she's talking about is where you get into a fight and then you guys patch it up and you have this passionate lovemaking. No, it only happened with breakups. Breakups. You do that, Gabby. Well, thank you, guys. That was a question. Gabby, do you do that? Yes, sometimes if we can get to makeup because all I need is an I'm sorry. Hey, I messed up. And then it's go time. And then it's like it's go time because then I appreciate him even more for realizing he was wrong. Well, there you go. Wow. Lesson learned. Yeah, I can't imagine like arguing about a bill that went unpaid and then saying I'm sorry and then being like, all right, well. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yes. We don't do that. We don't have that dynamic. No. I'm trying to think because the stuff we'll get in the doozies about. It's so funny because sometimes I'll press a button that I had no idea that I was pressing. Right. And I'll be kind of surprised like.

3:39:53And I'll say to her sometimes, I'll say to Rebecca, I'll go, what just happened? Yeah, what? What did I do? What happened? She never, my wife never fights. She never instigates or does anything wrong. It's always me. It's always me. She goes, where's the toothpaste? And I said, it's in my dop kit because I got to sleep at the studio. Well, what am I supposed to use? Well, I don't know. Let's freaking see. What are you, helpless? Are you broken arms? Dude, I mean, I'm yanking stuff out of the cabinet. I go, look, here's some toothpaste. What is she doing? Staring at me like I'm a freaking unicorn. Like a unicorn just walked out of the woods. Crazy unicorn. And I looked at her and I'm like. So she'll look at you like, is it a not surprised look? Kind of now to this point. We've been together nine years. So it's not surprised. It's like, you're such a D. Yeah, you're just such a. Jerk. Yeah. And she'll just, she takes it and demurely puts the toothpaste on her toothbrush. Gosh, she's a saint. Brushes her teeth. She is a saint. And then I'm like, are you ready? Can we go now? Are we good? I was such a jerk. I'm so sorry. I could not date Woods. No. We would fight all the time. Well, I'll tell you what. If Jamie were with some guy that was like, well, I don't know, dear. All the time.

3:41:10She'd hate it. She would hate it, exactly. She loves the passionate Woods, you know? She sniggles at all of his ridiculous jokes. His jokes, his disgusting jokes. It's the best. I can still get it. She sniggles. Yeah, she does. Good matchup. I have a few ways I can go next, so I'll surprise you when we come back. This is The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Air Force, 6 p.m. Thursday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego.

3:42:09Hey, everyone. This is LOB, and I want to tell you why right now is the best time for you to try ovation cell therapy. You've heard me talk about the new advanced formula, which is sulfate and paraben-free. leaving your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and softer than ever before. Well, let me give you another reason why you should try Ovation. They are participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October by featuring a special edition pink bottle of their Advanced Formula Cell Therapy with a portion of each purchase going back to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. In addition to these funds raised, the Ovation Nation team is going to be out at the Susan G. Komen San Diego's Race for the Cure on November 6th, held in Balboa Park. Join them by signing up today at comensandiego.org. Log on to ovationhair.com now and get your special edition pink bottle of the Advanced Formula Cell Therapy. And don't forget to select FM949.

3:43:02at checkout, and you'll get a special introductory rate. That's OvationHair.com, and don't forget FM949 for your special rate. Make your football headquarters Dave & Buster's the place to catch all the action all season long. Every Sunday, enjoy great food and cold drink specials, and watch the week's top games on Dave & Buster's HD multi-screen. Enter to win one of five trips to the big game in Indy. Don't only watch the game, but play the games only at Dave & Buster's. Eat, drink, play football. Hi, I'm Joan Embry, Conservation Ambassador for the San Diego Zoo. I hope you'll join me for our walk on the wild side through the zoo to benefit our koalas and those in the wild. All participants will receive a colorful event t-shirt and admission to the zoo for the whole day. Walk on the Wild Side, presented by Mission Federal Credit Union, starts at the San Diego Zoo at 7.30 a.m. on Saturday, October 15th. Sign up today at sandiegozoo.org. From my rock star daughter to my soccer star son, every California family is made up of strong Californians. And to keep mine California strong, I choose Yoplait. Only Yoplait Original has twice the calcium of the leading yogurt, and Yoplait Greek has twice the protein of regular yogurts. So why would this California mom choose anything else? Make a difference in your community by supporting Save Lids to Save Lives with Yoplait Yogurt from your local Bond store. See package for details. Don't just aim for the top.

3:44:27Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. All hail Hambloor, the god of hamburgers. Thank you, it tastes glorious. Thank you, thank you for your greatest creation, the Steakhouse Burger from Carl's Jr. The new Steakhouse $6 burger from Carl's Jr. 100% black Angus beef, crumbled blue cheese, crispy onion strings, and A1 steak sauce. Tastes like it's made by the god of hamburgers. And that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, A1 is a registered trademark of craft food. Halloween means it's time to scream. And now, buy $10 worth of select Coca-Cola products with your Ralph's reward card, and your family could be screaming with delight because you'll have a chance to win four Disneyland Resort Park Hopper passes, plus four passes to Mickey's Halloween Party 2012. Get refreshed with Coca-Cola, and you could experience wicked fun for everyone at Disneyland Park. No purchase necessary. Voidware prohibited by law. Restrictions apply. For rules, visit your local Ralph's. Coca-Cola.

3:45:49Open happiness. If you're thinking about getting healthier, it always helps to have a buddy. But your buddy doesn't have to be a buddy. It could be Darnell or a Jose. It could be a Raymond or a Jorge. It could be a Stavros. You just say something like, hey, Stavros, would you mind if I joined you on your run tomorrow morning? Most likely he'd love the company. Your workout buddy could be just about anybody. It could be a Tracy. It could be a Lisa. It could even be a Carla or a Keisha or a Maria. Why not invite all three of them out for lunch where you all get something light and healthy and split the dessert? Because you know you want to. And who says you only have to have one buddy? You could go running with Stavros and lunching with Tracy and Carla and Maria. You could do Pilates with Beth. You could lift weights with Andreas. You and Julio could quit smoking. The list goes on and on. The more you and your buddy help each other, the more you help yourself. Because at Kaiser Permanente, we think that working together is the best way to thrive. Find your buddy at kp.org slash thrive. In music news, Cricket Wireless is making huge headlines with Move Music. It's the only smartphone plan that gives you nationwide talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads, starting at only $55 a month with no contract. Thanks, Dave. Now the forecast for...

3:47:05That's what apps are for. Not just weather, but Facebook, Google, Shazam, and thousands more. Plus, all your favorite songs sent right to your smartphone. Wow, much more exciting than the weather. So does this mean I'm out of a job? Well, you'll have plenty of time to start downloading music. That's no paying for every song, syncing, or annoying contracts. With Move Music, only at Cricket. Visit a cricket store or mycricket.com today. So smart. So Cricket. Covers now available everywhere. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricket's fair use policy. Terms and restrictions apply. Get the ZTE score featuring Move Music at only $89.99 for a limited time at participating locations. That's nationwide talk, text, and data. And unlimited music with no contract. All on your Android-powered device. Visit a Cricket store or mycricket.com. So smart. So Cricket. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Okay. You perverted. All right, we will. That's a whole new meaning of your slay list. You had this and Kesha.

3:49:02It takes a real man to admit that he likes Katy Perry. No, it doesn't. No. Fair enough. It just takes a man that's straight to admit. All you need to see is that picture of my cell phone, my friend. That is all you would. Jay, how great is that? All right, all right. We should start covering our music. I know girls like that, Woods. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my. What? Everyone likes it. It's unfair. Tell her. It's your friend. He should. He likes to cover songs. He should do that. He likes his songs. It's passive-aggressive against your boyfriend. No, it's not. It's popular. It is. Definitely. Not just with girls. Mostly, though. Wow. Would you agree, Woods? Mostly popular with girls? Yeah. It's his job. I'm talking to Woods. About Woods. Are you?

3:50:04Talking in the woods about woods. Woods only. Woods on sports. Woods of wisdom. Woods on Katy Perry. Really. I'd love to be on Katy Perry. It's a true statement. The ladies in our lives, we love them. Can't live without them. Can't shoot them. Guys in our lives, creeps, but somehow we can't live without them. Not a creep. Oh, I'm hurting inside. All of them. I'm hurting inside. Not all of them. Every last M effort. L.O.B. She loves men, but she hates men, and she loves men, and she hates them. I mean, I love. I love. I mean, I love men, but I hate them. She hates them. There's a guy that's living in this city today that I wouldn't want to trade places with for anything. Yeah, you know where he is right now? At a florist. Yes.

3:51:01And they say, can I help you? And he says, you bet your ass you can. Apparently, you're going to have to. Yes. Yes. And they say, what would you like? And he's going to go, everything. Who are you talking about? Everything you have. Just a random, faceless man. I guess so. Same guy whose girlfriend earlier said that she was open to slay. Yep. Same girl. What is Jay's deal? What is his deal? Same team, brother. Hey. In defense to that faceless, unnamed man. I'm a comedian. I make jokes. I make jokes. I also have a very bald ring finger on this left hand, so I can make those jokes. The man is an entertainer. Who? Mark Business is an entertainer. Sure is. Oh my gosh.

3:51:57Sure is. Entertaining. I need a paperback. I need a paperback. Entertaining propositions. L.O.B. Entertaining flirtations. She wants him to be an overalls. Entertaining the masses. She wants him to be an overalls. With a long-sleeved shirt. Working in a poo factory. Yes. A male poo factory. I just want upfront and honest. That's all I want. That's all I ask for. It could not be any more upfront and honest. Hey, I'm not talking to you, Jay. And you don't need to defend somebody that you don't know who he is. I'm telling you, dude. Should get you. It doesn't work for what's... To me, it's exciting. If I were her boyfriend, it would excite me, but it would make me crazy but be excited by it. What, that I'm crazy? Yes. It's exciting. It makes your heart beat and makes you nervous. It would never work on Woods. Jamie, he must like it. Jamie will give a shred. Jamie will give me a shred of crazy, and even a shred, I like it for one second, and then I'm like, you're freaking crazy. Yeah, if Rebecca did it, it would get me mad.

3:53:10Oh, yeah. I don't like crazy, dude. I don't like it. Hey, sell it somewhere else. We're all stocked up here. Okay? It isn't crazy, though. That's most women. I was born this way. Yes. And that is most women. And it's the way I've been for four years and counting, so it's not going to change. It's a playground. It's like walking home. I'm so glad. It must be nice. Doesn't it feel like nice? You know, listen, if he wanted to, though. He could play it right back. He could be like, he could say. Trust me, he does. Yeah. This nameless, faceless man. This nameless, faceless man. Plays it right on back. Oh, yeah. I'd be like, oh, so you're not committed, huh? Yeah. How's Eric Terman, your black friend? Yeah. He's married and is a big fan of you. In fact, I can show you many emails in support of you nameless, faceless man.

3:54:15How about all black guys? How about all black guys? Here's the thing. My cards are on the table. That's true. They are completely on the table. You go digging. Don't worry about it. Next. Well, I will say this. I will say this. I find that there are some similarities. Between L.O.B. and a lot of gals. My wife. Your wife and L.O.B. are very much one and the same. And your wife, a little bit. She likes the like bit. She loves the like on Facebook bit. My girl wife started something that is not... It's genius. It is not genius. It's not genius. It's crazy. Do you know about it, Hillary?

3:55:14This thing that my wife did. Oh, it's genius. I love it. And it's quintessentially female because of the passive aggression in it. It's passive aggressive. My wife. No, we are. But we're also more blatant. We will also get confrontational. Women don't like confrontation. That's a huge generalization. For the most part. Sweeping. Well, mine doesn't. Yours doesn't. Many don't. L.O.B. doesn't like confrontation? No. It's also a huge generalization that Mexicans like burritos, but we do. I like them. I like them. Now, here's what she did. She'll see on my Facebook page if girls write things that are sort of... Girls don't like a wink. Girls don't like when another girl writes their husband with a wink. Gotcha. because L.O.B. and all the other three women that were on the female panel say, you open that eye. I know what that eye means with that wink. Flirtatious is the right word. And so sometimes if somebody were to put on my page something like, whatever. You were so funny today. Rebecca's bit. No, so funny. Rebecca's bit is like.

3:56:43Nice. Jamie's new bit is like. And it's also something I've adopted. Like. And I remember the first time we talked about it. I said, now, is that because you can't go pee-pee on the screen? Correct. No, we just like it. And she goes, I just liked it. You don't like it. You don't like it. It's a nice compliment. We are appreciating the compliment that you are giving our man. Yeah, it's very much like, hi, I'm right here. Yes. Hello. Hello. Can you see me? Hi. Would you do that? Would you show your cleavage and wink at him in person? I don't think so. Oh, wow. But you do it on Facebook. Can I tell you guys something that happened to me last night at Horton Plaza that you will not believe? What? We parked. We walked through the mall. I'm walking with my wife, Jamie, next to her. This dude grabs her hand. He goes, how are you? next to me. Was he in front of a kiosk? He was not in front of a kiosk. He was standing there holding a bag from, I don't know, Sunglass Hut or something. And I kept walking and it took a minute to register in my head. What was he doing?

3:57:49He was flirting with my wife. He grabbed her? It's almost like he didn't see me, and when I whip my head over to look at him, he's like, oh, sorry, sorry. Oh, boy. But he grabbed her and he goes, how are you doing? Oh, boy. Is that wrong? Dude, if some dude grabbed my hand in the mall, I would bitch slap him. I was going to say, Jeremy or you would bitch slap him. But I sat there, and it didn't click. So he kept walking, and I turned around and looked, and he looked at me, and he just started walking as fast as he could walk. I was like a Facebook liker. I mean, I was like, dude, that's mine. Well, yeah, but that's like a physical deal. That's a physical deal. What would your wife do if it was? But see, I don't think that saying you were really funny today is I want to make sex to you. Right. It's usually more than that that gets our goat. It's more than that. No, you're right. You're right. It's more than that. But when a guy reaches out and grunts, hey, how are you? That means I want to make sex to you. Yeah, he wanted to make sex to her real bad. Yeah. And that's different. What about, I swear, if you weren't married, Mike, wink face. What's that? I'll like, I will like the, I almost cursed out of that. I will like the crap out of that. I'm uncomfortable. That's 10.

3:59:05All right, well, Hillary, what's this? Hi, Hill. It's always so tense, right, when Hillary walks in. I know. We're in a spirited debate. I know it. Anywho. I do take a deep breath before I walk through this. I bet. You never know what you're going to get. I, like, prepare myself. By the way, real quick, I want to mention pretzel crisps. Yeah, you guys ever have a pretzel crisps? Well, they are. I love them. Me too. And one of the things that I want to mention is. Sorry, go ahead. They're helping to fight breast cancer. They're benefiting the Susan G. Komen for the cure. Nice. And the deal is that they're going to be donating a minimum donation of $100,000. That's a danger. It's pretty cool. So anyway, go out and buy pretzel crisp because A, they're delicious and B. There's new flavors coming out too in about a month. The buffalo wings. We got a sampler of some jalapeno jack, Mikey. Chipotle. Chipotle cheddar, Mikey. And buffalo wings. Mama might need to take a bag back in. Yeah. We got a lot. You can. Feast on them.

4:00:13What do you got coming up? I grabbed some new records from Blink-182, My Morning Jacket, and Florence and the Machine. I saved a request from yesterday. I got around 2.30 for a song. I haven't played in a long time, so I'm going to get that on within the next half hour or so. And really good Desert Island discs at noon. Meatloaf. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Enjoy your day. Come back here tomorrow at 6. We'll do it again. The Mikey Show's out. Get it.