The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/14/10
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thursday October 14, 2010
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly theme returns to open the show. Vincent Jackson is advised by the NFL player’s union to show up in Charger Town or forfeit 2011. Santa Baby is requested again as well as LOB jokes galore. Mikey takes us on a visual journey of being a fly on the wall in that bathroom she sang in but Jay takes it to further creeper levels! Talk of “Lights Out” leaving adds his name to a long list of San Diego notoriety. An uptight Woods can’t take another second of Cat Crack. Apple creates an anti-sexting app and Woods and Mikey snuggle up real sweetly on the love sack. Unable to shake the name ‘Mikey’ after all these years he envisions a show called “Mike & Team” which will inevitably be renamed “The Team”! Can you walk a mile in Mikey’s little boots? The world’s shortest man news gets Woodsy giggling. Captain Buzzkill reignites his feud with Woods and threatens more letters. A study of how often most people pick their nose has the gang elaborate on their nostril digging routines and Woodsy’s habit of breaking wind. Write-in candidate for governor Sanndra Rossi (no, not a typo, she spells it with two ns) calls in to introduce her unusual platform. Woods refuses to give Miley Cyrus any class. A new game called “Will They or Won’t They” is debuted with station HR director Karen and bets are on as to whether or not she’ll accept a visit from BB King. Karen calls LOB a big chicken once the results are in. ‘Lamb chop’ O’Brien sharpens her knives after the 8am break. BB King sees more usage after another round of movie plot hot potato. Couples who use their innocent babies to argue through are next. Woods loves arguing with people on Facebook. Nitta gets the treatment but after the break the real Nitta calls in (Jay creeps on her) to dish about Mikey’s dirty laundry! Mikey recaps the antics of all three of his boys leading to different tactics of discipline for parents. Cheap Trick’s “Surrender” will be the tune Mikey and the 94/9 band will jam at the Anniversary Bash. Details and tickets can be found here: http://www.fm949sd.com/8thAnniversaryBash.aspx. Sanndra Rossi calls back to push her run for governor or does she really just want to sell her handbags? Slash jams the National Anthem. An upset M1 claims call screener Chris blocks him out and his backstage pass requests are being ignored. LOB has a woman Doctor to Woods’ surprise so CBK makes his second call of the day to call Woods a sexist. The “Goobernatorial” debate has Democrat Jerry Brown defending calling Meg Whitman a whore and Whitman fires back.
Bumper Music
| 1. Lights Out by P.O.D. |  |
| 2. Touch And Go by The Cars | |
| 3. I’ll Stick Around by Foo Fighters | |
| 4. Strange Days by The Doors | |
| 5. Race For The Prize by The Flaming Lips | |
| 6. Symphony Of Destruction by Megadeth | |
| 7. Lucky Man by The Verve | |
| 8. Minerva by Deftones | |
| 9. Misunderstanding by Genesis | |
| 10. Learning To Fly by Pink Floyd | |
| 11. So Far Away by Staind | |
| 12. Setting Forth by Eddie Vedder | |
| 13. Special by Garbage | |
| 14. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley | |
| 15. The One Thing by INXS | |
| 16. Word Of God Speak by Kutless | |
Will They or Won't They gameBB gun shootingSean Merriman Chargers holdoutCarlsbad school shootingApple anti‑sexting patentSandra Rossi gubernatorial campaignBetween Two Ferns Bruce Willis interviewJunkyard word prizeL.O.B. headphone singingMiley Cyrus paparazziBrett Favre consecutive game streakNewsboy hat discussion
The show kicked off with the debut of 'Will They or Won't They?', a game where hosts wagered on whether HR director Karen would accept a BB shot to the butt, which she did. Throughout the hour they covered Sean Merriman's uncertain future with the Chargers, the Carlsbad school shooting involving Brandon Liam O'Rourke, and Apple's new anti‑sexting patent. Sandra Rossi phoned in to promote her write‑in gubernatorial run, plugging her handbag site, while the hosts also played a clip of Zach Galifianakis’ Between Two Ferns interview with Bruce Willis. The junkyard word game ran all morning, offering a SeaWorld prize to caller nine.
What happened, in order
Will They or Won't They? game intro
Hosts explain the new game where they ask building employees if they'll take a BB to the butt and wager on the answer.
L.O.B.'s headphone singing bit
Lauren O'Brien records a song into headphones as a microphone, jokes about farting jingle bells and a sex tape with Kid Rock.
Sean Merriman holdout discussion
Callers debate whether Chargers linebacker Sean Merriman will report, sign his tender, and his future with the team.
Carlsbad school shooting update
Details are given about Brandon Liam O'Rourke pleading not guilty to attempted murder, with bail set at $10 million.
Anti-sexting patent explained
The hosts discuss Apple's patent that lets administrators block certain words in texts to curb sexting.
Sandra Rossi gubernatorial write-in
Sandra Rossi calls in to promote her write-in governor campaign, citing her handbag website and platforms like clean water and passports.
Karen HR gets shot with BB gun
After wagering that HR director Karen would take a BB, she actually does and gets shot in the butt on air.
Between Two Ferns Bruce Willis clip
A clip of Zach Galifianakis interviewing Bruce Willis is played, highlighting Willis' awkward answers and jokes about Ashton Kutcher.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsy (Steve Woods)L.O.B. (Lauren O'Brien)JayChrisNikkiNubian PrinceVincent JacksonAJMarcus McNeilPhillip RiversSean MerrimanMiley CyrusBrett Favre
26,776 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
There it is. Yesterday, the final person brought up. From that Chilean mine, unbelievable human drama. And you gotta know, the movie's coming. The book is coming. The book, the movie. The TV show. Yeah. Okra. Okra's gonna do it, I'm sure. Thousand percent. Yeah. So, all of the trapped miners are now up and safe. Very nice. 570-1949 is our number. You can call us right now.
We've got so much to talk about today. We have such a humongous show today. You can also text in 949mikey at gmail.com. The word of the day today is junkyard. The word of the day is junkyard. And so when you hear the word junkyard, caller number nine, what do you get, Jay? Four packet tickets to SeaWorld. There it is. Very nice. San Diego prize pack. It's worth $236. And between now and 10, you're going to hear me say that. So you've got to be listening for me to weave that word into a sentence. And when you hear it, caller number 9 at 570-194-9 will win four-pack to SeaWorld. Let's see. We're going to do a new game today, by the way. This morning at 730, a brand new game called Will They or Won't They?
Let me do introductions, and then I'll tell you what will they or what they is. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35 years of age. He is fond of the V-neck T-shirt. Very. That's right. My mom just mailed me three new ones. Did she? It's so funny. I'm like, I'm 35 years old. But thank you, Mom. I love you. You know how I'm so big on those left and right socks? Yeah. You know, they sell these black left and right socks. Nike sells them, and I found them at Nordstrom. Well, I'm down to like two pair. Where do they go? I don't know. Where are your socks? Where are my socks? Where do they go? The hiding. The hiding? And the only place they could hide. In the draw. In the draw. But I've searched the draw. They're not there. Those are our terrible attempts at Christopher Walken. Thank you very much. Well, my socks. L.O.B., you want to give it a whirl? No, I'm good. You're going to pass? You guys carried it. That's right. Or not. Or not. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She's wearing a ref shirt today. She's ready to go. Personal foul. Time out. Real good. Ready to referee. Call time outs all day. That's right. She's 29. She's very attractive. Got a big smile.
Perfectly white teeth. And is a little bit of a hypochondriac. Slightly. Not. Oh, yeah. She thinks she has stuff when she don't have anything. I've got something. Fleas. Think she got fleas, man. No, I moved on from fleas. What do you got now? First it was bedbugs, and then she moved on, and then she said for sure it's fleas. Now, not fleas. Yesterday it was fleas. Yesterday it was fleas. What is it today? Now I think it's... Now you think you're doing meth. Yes, that was one. Scratching your skin. That's what I found when I was on the internet searching eczema. That's one of them. Look, she's itching now. Yeah, she's scratching. Eczema. And then there's another thing called keratosis pilaris. Something like that. Holy cow. I might. I might have keratosis pilaris. Whatever it's called. KP for short. Are you positive that that's not a new New Age band? They could be at our anniversary bash. Yeah, we recommended it this month. Keratosis pilaris. They're out of Holland. They're great. They're great.
You're going to love them. You should see their rider. Oh, something's wrong. Bunch of pansies with what they want. Here's a new one from Perilosis Polaris. Teratosis, Mike. Teratosis Polaris is new one. It's called Give In. Hope you like it. They're from Holland and FM 94.9. First to play them. It's just hearing it. That's fantastic. It reminds me of some of their earlier work. Well, here's one of their earlier ones. You probably remember most from this one. Oh, absolutely. Feel good into the summer. I do like this. Keratosis pilaris is going to be backstage this year at Coachella. Hanging out smoking weed. It's going to be a fun time. Jay's our producer.
He's 47. He looks 27. He does not have keratosis. He does not. He does not. He does not have it. I don't know. Let's see. And then our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. It's Chris. It is Chris. It's Chris. Chris. So give us a call 5701-949-M1. Virgin Nikki from Escondido. How are you, my darling? Good morning, guys. Good morning. How are you guys doing? We're good. Good. I'm just up right and early at 6 and thought I would give you guys a call and say hi. Fresh new baby at home, right? Yeah, baby Jude. Baby Jude. How old is baby Jude now? He's two weeks. Two weeks. Wow. How are you adjusting? Is everything cool? Yeah, adjusting good. My recovery for my C-section has been hard because you guys have been making me laugh. That's pretty awesome, though. Last week I had to take a pain pill after the whole 30-minute bit of Nita. Nita, in my country, we don't get up so early when we have seven kids running around the house. Nita is our nanny from Hungary, and she has a lot to say, and it's pretty fun. She's great.
Well, you guys are doing a great job. Thank you. Hey, thanks, Nikki. Love you, too. We'll see you at M1. Nubian Prince is on the line. How about that? Oh, boy. He's on the 163. What's up, dude? Well, you guys, I just want to tell you, I love you. Waking up in the morning with you guys is awesome. Seriously. Thank you very much, bro. Thank you. You guys have me cracking up all the time. Thank you. See, he said that to me this morning when I rolled over. Oh, my God! I thought that was just between us. Oh, creeper. You're not supposed to tell anybody. Talking out of school. Somebody's talking out of school. I also want to tell you guys, I work for the guys at the orange truck, so just please be safe on the roadway this morning. Yeah, be careful. Yeah, absolutely. Be careful, man. Hey, I can't wait for the day. I love you guys. Today is a good day to be listening to the program because there's a lot of surprises today. Got a new game I told you we're going to be playing. Will they or won't they? Classic. Here's the idea with will they or won't they. We go around the building here, Lincoln Financial, in our radio station. There's a lot of employees. I don't know how many, but we have a lot of employees. We pick a person. We go up to them the day before that we'll play.
Will they or won't they? And we ask them, would you come into the studio tomorrow morning and we're going to ask you the question, will you take a BB to the butt? And then we, as a show, have to decide whether they will or not. Okay? And if we get it right, then we get to watch them take a BB. If we get it wrong, then we have to take a BB. Oh, man. And actually, we could be getting it right if we say that they won't do it. That's right. Right. In which case, whoever said they would, they've got to get a BB. And it could be that nobody takes a BB because everybody guesses they will or everybody guesses they won't. It's just if we're wrong, we've got to take a BB. Well, in typical Mikey Show fashion, too, we didn't go to, you know, like a promotions intern. Right. Where did we go? We went to HR. The head of HR, Karen. Yeah, we went to Karen, who works in our HR department. She is our HR department. Yeah. Now, I'm going to tell you that Karen is a very, very, like, you know, she reminds me a lot of my wife. Yeah. She is a very attractive and well put together and, like, demure, classy lady. That makes my mouth water.
And so we have to be a little careful because we're talking about the head of HR, but. Right, right, right, right. Careful like shooting her in the butt with a BB, careful, or? No, I mean careful as in, wow, she's so stinking hot, isn't she? Yeah. That kind of hair. Probably watch that. Intelligent. Yes, very intelligent woman. Very intelligent woman, yes. She's very mellow. Let's put it this way. Without that young lady in there. taking care of my paperwork, your boy wouldn't be sitting here right now. That is correct. She did a lot. She went above and beyond for the kid. That's true. I'll tell you that. She's like, really? I'm going to hire you, huh? So, will they or won't they will happen this morning at 7.30. Nice. When do we vote? Later? I think that what we should do is we should put her in the cone of silence so she doesn't know. We'll put her in the office with the mic off so she can't hear what we say. Good call. I like it. I like it, too. M1 Ziggy from Lemon Grove. Good morning, guys. What up? I just wanted to let you guys know, Vincent Jackson for the Chargers has to report by October 31st. Now, Woodsy knows this. Woodsy and I were talking about this, and this is a very, very controversial topic. And the reason that it's controversial is because I think that there's a lot of gray area here in terms of, okay, yes, he does, but does that mean that he is going to be...
Because clearly he's holding out. He hasn't signed a contract. There is no talk of him signing a contract. And therefore, it doesn't mean that he's going to be in uniform and on the field playing. Yeah, well, what I heard on ESPN, it said that he should be playing in order to be legible to a free agent on 2011. Right. Which means that unless he agrees to the tender, which was offered to him. That's diminished. It's way diminished. It's about $500,000. I think it's less. It's less. Okay. Okay, so if he agrees to that, he is eligible to be a free agent. After the season. After the season. But he's got to play out the rest of the games after he has to report, is what I understand. Yeah. Now, if he wants to be playing for big money for another team, it means that he doesn't.
He doesn't sign the tender, and he doesn't play. But that also means that the Chargers still hold his rights. At the end of the year. Yes. They still hold his rights. So best case for Vincent, if Vincent was to say, all right, fine, I'll report, comes out, plays his ass off, okay, then he gets his unrestricted free agent, then he can go sign with big money. If he doesn't play, is he going to get big money next year? That's what I'm thinking. think he is even going to be legible to the 2011 season. If he doesn't play in these games. Yeah, exactly. That's what, I mean, that's at least what I've been hearing on ESPN. I've just been kind of follow up on that. Guy's kind of dug himself in a hole. Yeah, it's like he should have done what McNeil did, you know, just play, sign that tender, and then later on, you know, McNeil just signed a contract. Yeah, he just got his extension of five years. Exactly. But, you know... In Vincent's case, I think that AJ and the guys were like, listen, man, this guy's giving us some problems off the field. I don't know that even if he signed his tender, they would have said, yeah, man, we're going to lock you down for the next four years, five years, or whatever the long-term contract that you want. I still don't know that that would have happened. Yeah. He's kind of a drama coin. Right, and that's those dice that you have to roll if you're Vincent Jackson.
Best case scenario, he would have signed his tender and been on the field all year, played his butt off, and got big money next year and stayed out of trouble. But unfortunately, that's not what happened. Hey, thanks, man. Appreciate the phone call, dude. I mean, if you're Phillip Rivers, you want to see that dude on the field. Yeah. M1 Mark from Oceanside. What's up? Good morning. Thank you. Huge hit San Diego. Oh, boy. Yeah. Maybe, you know, we could, like, put together a CD or something like that. With the whole show. Maybe the kid and L.O.B., you know, sing a duet. A little acoustic duet of... Oh, here we go. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Now, a lot of people hear this and may be hearing it for the first time and thinking to themselves, oh.
Where did you get that recording of Marilyn Monroe? No, it isn't. It's Lauren. It's Lauren. It's L.O.B. singing into a pair of headphones because she didn't have a microphone, but found out that you can actually sing into headphones and use them. In her bathroom. As a microphone. I went into her bathroom and sang right into GarageBand, and her roommates were on the way home, and she knew that, and so she had to get this recording done in one take so that she could send it off. to her boyfriend, who she then called and said, did you get the email yet? He said, no, no, I didn't get it. Well, check your email yet, SOB. So he did. And she said, let me hear it. And he started playing it. And then she got embarrassed and hung up. That's my least favorite part. We should do a little Christmas ditty, L-O-B. We'll do some Christmas stuff. I have another one, Dave, called Jingle Bell Quack, where I do Jingle Bell Rock as Donald Duck. Holy cow. Yeah. She sits on piles of gold, dude. It's not even fair. What? It's not even fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, oh, did I tell you that I also have a recording of me farting jingle bells? Yeah. Did I tell you that I have a sex tape with Kid Rock as well? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah, I do. Well, I figured I'd save it for the holidays. Well, I don't want to lay all my cards out on the table. I do. I want you to lay all your cards out on the table. I got to tell you something.
Since I started this show, I've told every story that I ever have. I'm like, what did I do in seventh grade I can talk about? This one will come in and be like, yeah, I didn't tell you guys that I was in the space shuttle. I went up in the space shuttle. I walked on the moon. We're like... What? Tell you guys I was the only 14-year-old to rob a bank in the state of Texas. I know. That's crazy. No, you didn't. You remember Donald Duck? It's called Jingle Bell Quack. It's Jingle Bell Rock. Matt was playing the electric guitar, and I was singing as Donald Duck. Give us a little taste. No, no, wait, wait, wait. I have questions. I want a taste. When did you do it? Right before I did Santa Baby. In fact, that was what gave me the inspiration to do Santa Baby. Why did you do it? Because he thought it was hilarious that I could talk like Donald Duck. And what was the recording made for? He, every year, makes a, because he's a musician, he'll make for his family. He'll do a little two-song album, and he's like, I want to put you on there. Like a little EP. Yeah, and I was like, I'm not going to really sing.
And then for some reason we decided I would do Donald Duck. And so you did. And then his family members got this? Yeah, and mine. And yours. And some of my friends. And they were like, you're weird. Right. You're a weird, weird, weird girl. Okay, so this one has been a little bit more circulated than Santa Baby. Yeah, Santa Baby was only between me and him. Which I have no idea why. Santa, honey. Oh, God. Oh, God. Never gets old. Never. Never. In fact, much like wine, it just gets better. Better. Every day, it's better than it was the day before. It's kind of like marriage. Santa cutie. Cutie. It's so clandestine. Oh, yeah. It's so secret. Yes. Ew. It's so intimate. Yes. Sultry, intimate. It's meant...
It's not even meant for two people. It's meant for one man. Yeah. And that's it. That's it. It isn't meant for his friends. It isn't meant for his family. In fact, it's meant for this one man. And really, it's only meant for him privately. Oh, yeah. I made him delete his internet history. Delete the song and then also empty the trash can on his computer. Wow. I was like, you better not. Ever. Ever. I mean, it's also, if we're being really honest, it's kind of like one of those deals where it's like, it's meant for you, but not too much. Don't overindulge. Yeah, like, it's meant for you once or twice. You get a little taste and then get rid of it. And then get rid of it. Because it's so private. It's so clandestine. It's so secret. And then she told us about it. Why did I do that? I don't know. Such a great move. It's radio sugar. It's candy. It's candy. It's Snickers and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And ice cream. Imagine if Reese's Peanut Butter Cups called the Lay's Potato Chips Corporation. And then the Lay's Potato Chip Corporation.
called the makers of crack. Right. And they all met in a boardroom, and they said, we want to do something in terms of audio that will be completely addictive, that you can't get enough of, and tastes so salty and yet so sweet at the same time. Delicious. It's salty. It is salty. But it's also real sweet. Woods, yes, visualize. Oh, man. Oh my gosh. Our girl did everything but kiss those headphones. You don't like the trim your Christmas tree part? I don't like how I don't hit the note. She didn't have a feather boa, so she just took the strap off of a robe. I think I used a braided belt. I've said it before, but it's worth visualizing again. Imagine that the roommate was...
Is that you, Lauren? Get out! We should reshoot that with video. Absolutely. Absolutely. Thousand percent. Lauren had the locks changed at the apartment before recording it. I should have. Roommates are like, hello? My key's not working. Lauren? Are you home? I don't know. I hear something in there, but I'm ringing the doorbell. Nobody's answering. My key doesn't work. I think somebody's killing her cat inside there. Oh, I think she sounds pretty hot. I think she sounds good. It's just super embarrassing. I turn red every time I hear it. But it's good. It's not good. It is. You guys are kind. Thank you. Sean Merriman. Humongous news, man. I want to know what people think about it.
570-1949. Sean Merriman, for all intents and purposes, is no longer a San Diego Charger to the point where he was tweeting yesterday saying looks forward to his new opportunity with his new team. Oh, man. He doesn't know who that is. He's out, you know, and all the stuff I saw, it was like, well, they could re-sign him. They're not going to re-sign him. I mean, it's every news, you know, sports news agency was like his run with the Chargers ends. Merriman's career in San Diego over. I mean, there's... zero chance of him ever putting on that helmet with a bolt on it again. What are you talking about, Willis? Got him! We live here. And so for us that live here, it's sort of like we are conditioned for it. But if you think about the San Diego Chargers on a national platform, we do not fly under the radar. No. The Chargers... In terms of like, I mean, just think about it. Tila tequila. Yeah. Think of like- Steroids, all the bits. Think of all the stuff, the holdouts, the Vincent Jackson, the Marcus McNeil, the cough medicine. Yeah. The Vicodins. The Vicodins. Oh, yeah. The guy that died chasing somebody. Yeah. I mean, dude, what was that? So much of that stuff, you know? Think about-
Steve Foley and the shooting. Yeah. And, I mean, there's just so much. We're not a low radar flyer. Eli Manning saying, do not draft me. I don't want to play there. Yeah. Ryan Leaf, the biggest bust ever. Yeah. Junior, retiring, not retiring, retiring, not retiring. It's just, I mean, there's so much stuff. It's crazy. It's like Peyton plays here. All my children. 570-194-9. M1 Mango is on the line. Hi, Mango from San Marcos. Bingo. B-A-N-G-O. Bingo. What's up, Bingo? Good morning, guys. How you doing? What's up? Hey, just wanted to call in with my take on the whole Sean Merriman thing. I have them, you know, friended on Facebook, and they put out the post, and I'm reading everybody's, you know, complaining, oh, you know, another superstar released by the Chargers, this, this, and that. Let's face it. I mean, since he got caught with the juice, Sean Merriman hasn't been the same thing, you know? Well, and I would say, you know, in defense to Sean, that since his injury, he hasn't been the same. Before the injury, he had recorded 30-some sacks. After the injury, four. 39 and a half in his first three seasons. 39 and a half sacks in three years. Really strong. He's had four in three seasons since due to injury.
Achilles, the knee, the calf. You get half a sack. You get half if somebody else helps you. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. So, I mean, you know, for people to say that he's been a superstar, I mean, I love Sean. I know he used to call in every morning or every Monday morning after a game, you know, at the previous show. And it was great getting his take. But the problem is if he can't stay healthy, how's he helping his team win a Super Bowl? That's a great point. Oh, yeah. I mean, it is. It's more about the name. than the on-field, you know, accolades the last three years. I mean, it's the name, Sean Merriman, lights out, is no longer going to be a charger. He was drafted here. He started here, you know, rookie of the year, defensive rookie of the year, pro bowl, you know, three-time pro bowler. And it's like, you know, I mean, he's no longer going to be here. But are you really going to miss that much on the field? No.
No, I mean, look at Sean Phillips' play. Oh, yeah, beast. He's been great this year, Seth. He's a beast. Thanks for the call, dude. Appreciate it. Well, I guess in honor of the 39 1⁄2 sacks or 44 1⁄2, however you want to look at it, 43 1⁄2. New developments in the Carlsbad school shooting. And also, do you know about the new anti-sexting technology? We'll tell you about it. Oh, and Brett Favre's consecutive game streak may be coming to an end. Woodsy will tell you about that streak and why it's ending when we come back on Woods on Sports. Welcome back. Word of the day is junkyard sometime between now and 10. I'm going to say that word. And when I do, you be caller number nine and get a $236 prize pack to see World. You be caller number nine.
Four people, dude. It's pretty good. Pretty good. That's real good. You be caller nine. You be caller nine. I know what you need. Woods, you're uptight. I know what you need. I'm uptight, and it better not be what I think it is. Yeah. God bless. Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. Lowbrow. Admit it. Lowbrow. No, it's terrible. It is fantastic. Lowbrow comedy. Every time it plays, I like it more. So does Woods. He won't tell me. No, I hate it. He likes it. I was singing it all day yesterday. Thank you very much. Smoking crack on a daily what? I don't know. I don't either. I don't even know what he says. I don't think he says that. He says on a daily grind or something. Hit it one more time. He says it's a one of a kind, right? Yeah. Smoking crack on a daily. Ooh, yeah.
That's not bass. Daily grind? I see where you made the distinction, Jenny. Bass and grind. That is so loud. I hate it. It's not loud in here. There's got to be an issue. Are you whippersnappers? Well, it's not loud in my headphones. That's because you have a horn in your ear. It doesn't sound loud to me. It's insane. Sounds completely normal. It's so loud. Oh, boy. 570-1949. That's our number here. You ever just goof around for a living? Real good. Let's see. For you to put a thing that I have here on this array, Jay, over here, you have to go to another room, huh? I go to another room. So crazy. Yeah. Should be able to just drag and drop. Yeah. I love drag and drop. I'm a big drag and drop guy. Me too. Copy and paste too. Yeah, copy and paste is always nice. Drag and drop's better. Yeah, I think so too. That's rough. Let's see.
In a second, we're going to tell you about Brett Favre's consecutive game streak and how that could be over and why and the whole deal. There's an update in the shooting that happened at the school in Carlsbad. And what is it, Woods? Correct. The man from Oceanside, Liam O'Rourke, I'm sorry, Brandon Liam O'Rourke, 41 years old, he pleaded not guilty. So seven counts of premeditated attempted murder. One count for each of the six bullets he's accused of firing on Friday and an additional round that failed. His bail was set. $10 million. Oh, my gosh. I love it. So he'll be in there for a while, one would assume. He's facing a maximum of 103 years to life in prison. So first hearing will be November 17th. And the mothers of the two girls. that were shot and grazed were in the court, openly crying and declined to speak to reporters. But, yeah, he'd be lucky to walk out of there if that was my kid. How could he—what would be his defense? Insanity. He went insane? Yeah. Insanity. Yeah. May work.
Yeah, it may work against him, too. Here's how it may work against him. If you say you're not guilty and the state proves that you are, it's a harsher punishment than if you had admitted it. So it could work for him. It could work against him. Either way, just don't let him out of wherever he's going. Just don't let him out. With a $10 million bail, I don't think he'll be able to get out. Nowhere soon. Let's see. And then Apple. has this patent now for anti-sexting stuff. Yeah, what they did is it has not been commercialized yet, but it would let a phone administrator block an iPhone from sending or receiving text with certain words, which is good for parents with young kids. Messages containing blocked material would not be received or would have the content redacted, which I think means sent to the parents. The parents would see it or just wiped out. I would think the parents would see whoever the administrator is. But they're able to filter content based on a child's grade level and also filters abbreviated words that may be missed by other programs, which is pretty rad. It could also prod kids towards better grammar and showing them how to identify and fix spelling mistakes and punctuation and grammar as well. Okay, so sexting is when you talk dirty through text. I misunderstood.
what sexting was. What did you think it was? I thought sexting was sending dirty pictures. I thought it was both. It's part of it. It's funny that you bring that up because the patent does not address the sending or receiving of explicit images, which is weird. So I can send you a C-shot if I want to, but if I write... You could turn pictures off, though, on a phone. You don't have to have that. You could, actually, on your kid's phone. If you couldn't, you could prohibit them from taking pictures. Yeah. Yeah. But it's good. I mean, anything that, you know... kind of helps curb some of that stuff is probably a good thing. Yeah. You don't need to have pictures. No. No. It's not necessary, right? No, but a text could come in handy if maybe you're in an emergency situation. You don't want to go, hey, pick me up. Right. Right. I mean, texting, you know, you can leave texting on for your kids, but you can put that, you know, put that app in that will not let them sext. Yeah. M1 student from San Diego. With asterisk in it. So it'd be like F stocks asterisk. Oh. Yeah, because it said... I thought the word redact means edit. Take away. Yeah. Doesn't redact mean it? It says it would have the objectionable content redacted. So I think what they're saying in this is they'd have it taken out. Okay. Yeah, like omitted. And then you're saying they would replace it with stars? Yeah, like when you hit shift 8 on your keyboard, it puts a star instead of a letter. Did not know that. Thank you for that. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.
Let's see. The dictionary defines redacted as edit for publication. I just keep thinking about the Office episode where Dwight wants to take back his complaints. Redacted. Redacted. I sent some sexy pictures yesterday on my phone. You did? Yeah. That's creepy. It was one of you and Mikey. Oh, boy. Didn't know he did it. Just a couple guys being dynamic, laying around. On a lovesack. Just spitballing ideas real good. I was laying on a beanbag. with your freaking fur throw that you had to have that makes us look like, you know, whatever. Is that the same fur throw that you demanded when you were on the couch yesterday? No. You bought it. It's here. I'm going to use it. You're the one that was like, let's get a throw for the studio. Let's make sure it has fur on it. True or false? True. I'm going to give you a true or false. You tell me if this following statement is true or false. Yesterday, Woods said to me,
Hey, dude, please let me have that throw. True or false? False. That's true. It's a true statement. That's a false statement. First of all, I don't speak that way. You went, Mike! Just like that. Let me help. You bought it. I'm going to use it. But that's the throw you decided on. Mine would have had a big Green Bay Packers helmet on it or something. That's the one you get. A frigging fur throw. Skull and crossbones. Yeah, skull and crossbones. Pack of cigarettes on it. Just like with music, I just go for what I like. I don't. I don't put thought into it. I don't do this bit where I go, well, what will people think? It's comfy. It's comfortable. It's very comfortable, but Liberace was like, oh, I wouldn't have that in my house. Yeah, Liberace called and said, that's the gayest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, and I'm not having that in my home. Yeah. I wish I knew how to quit you. Well, I didn't think that while I was laying on the three-man beanbag. Three-person. Three-person beanbag. Yes, sexist, Mikey. I didn't think, A, I didn't think that Woods was going to join me. Didn't you? Didn't you invite me over and say, buddy, why don't you come sit with me? I did not. And then furthermore, I didn't think that when Woods did, that Jay would take a snapshot and without our consent, post it to the intranets. You'll be talking to my attorney today. That's right. He put it on the World Wide Web. He sure did. Not so good now. Quick call.
And so, there it was for everyone to see on our Facebook page, which, by the way, is now over 10,000 fans. Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. We got over 10,000 fans, and we'd love for you to join us. I do not have a personal Facebook page. My son, Lucas Barza, does. And so, in L-O-B, under Lauren O'Brien. Woods is under Steve Woods, or is it Steven Woods? I think it's Steven. Stephen Woods. What's up with that? What do you mean? Why not Steve Woods? My name's Stephen. Okay. Okay. Your name's Michael. All right. Well, my legal name is, but if I were... Your legal name's Miguel, but... But if it's left up to me, I will call myself Mike. Yeah. Yeah. I don't call myself...
I don't really call myself Steve. You prefer Steven. I don't really call myself Steven. I know, but you did. I'm Woods or Woodsy. You had to put something, so you decided on Steven. My question here is, what's the psychology there? Classy? Was it because your mom's on Facebook? Yeah, my mom calls me Steven. My wife calls me Steven. I wish you hadn't given him that out, LOB. Thank you, LOB. Sorry. Yeah, it's a little more classy. It's not as sophomoric as something, say, like Stevie, like the Stevie show. You know? I can't help that I'm Mikey on the radio. I can't do anything about it, and you know that. And that's why you just did that. It does have a better ring to it than the Mike show. It does. It really does. Or the Miguel show. You have to hard K that. Yeah, you have to hard K it. Or the Miguel show. I hate that my name is Mike. Mike. No, I don't hate that. I like that. I hate that my name is Mike, but that on the radio I have to go by Mikey. I know, and I end up 50% of the time I probably call you Mikey. Yeah.
It's killing me. Why don't you change it? Really? Yeah. To the Mike show? The Mike show. Mike and friends in the morning? Mike and gang. Mike and gang. Mike and the gang. The Mike team. Yeah. Then later on it'll just be called the team. Later on it'll be called the wood show. That. It was funny. That made my day. That's funny. Come on. That's hysterical. It's the art of intimidating life, right? That's right. Real good. Can't speak to it if you haven't been there, pal, you know? Yeah. Speaking of, yeah, walk a mile in these tiny little shoes. Walk a mile in those tiny, delicate, diminutive shoes. I would get blistered. Shoes that are really made for a toddler, you know? Walk a mile in these shoes that I wear that are really meant for a baby, for an infant, truly. They're so small.
Yeah, tiny. You could put them in a little teapot, in a little teacup. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. Absolutely. I got you to look up in the tree. Who else in the leprechaun say yay? Yay! That's my favorite. Oh, mine too. Oh, hi, you're so teeny. Whatever. Whatever. So, speaking of art imitating life, there is a Nepalese man. Did I say that right? Nepalese, I think. Nepalese? I don't think you have to get all... accent heavy and all that. A Nepalese man that has officially become the Guinness Book of World Records' shortest man. Yeah, he's a little bub, man, that's for sure. He's the size of a toddler. He turned 18 on Thursday. He is now the world's shortest man. His name is Kajendra Thapa Magar. He's 67.08 centimeters, which is 26.4 inches high. He weighs 13 pounds. He's a sad, strange little man.
15 pounds. He's a little dude. He's so short he can play handball against the curb. You get it? Lauren, why does that guy always laugh when he runs? Because the grass tickles his junk. He's so short he poses for trophies. Three guys walked into a bar. He walked under it. He's so short he has to cuff his underwear. He's so short if he sat on a dime he could swing his legs. He's so short if he pulled up his socks he'd be blind. That's all I got. Oh, boy. Woods is playing around. Everybody doesn't have to get all freaked out. What's the matter with you? I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? 13 pounds is so little. He's a little dude, man. He's like a six-month-old. And the picture of him, he is grinning from ear to ear, and he's holding the award like, look at me. Yeah, you got to embrace it. He was sitting on a dime swinging his legs and holding his little award.
Oh, I knew it. I knew you would do it. I knew you would do it. What? Well, first of all, it's racist against people that are of Napoli's descent. I wasn't going to say anything about people from Nepal. And then second of all, there's some sort of Sherpa joke there, I'm sure. I didn't even make a Sherpa joke. You're the one that just made the reference. And then the other thing is that you're making fun of people that are short. Wow. Fair enough. And that's not very... politically correct and it's wrong. I really don't worry about that stuff. I try not to. There are people that are born this way. They can't help the way. That's true. That is true. Fair enough. They can't. And so there you are as the voice of cruelty. You can make some tall jokes about Woods. I'm sure he'll be okay with it. I wouldn't do that. I'm not cruel. Aren't you? No, I'm not. Aren't you? Aren't you cruel? Don't you post mean things about us? You do. If by mean you mean true, then yes, I post mean things. True in your opinion, which really doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot. Yes. What does your girlfriend think? Does she think you're nice? Veronica thinks that I'm very nice. Veronica? Veronica. Yes. Is that from the comic books by Richie Bunker?
Or the archer. Oh, yes. I read comic books about all in the family. I was just trying to see if you were paying attention. I'm always paying attention. He monitors our every move, L-O-B. I'm paying attention to Mr. Ken R. Layton. I'm sure he is. And R. Jackson. He'd love us. I knew when I did those jokes he was going to call. Of course. Can't stand it. He hates it when you do that. I know. Pop quiz. How often do you think you pick your nose? A. Once a week. B. Once a day. C. Once an hour. D. Several times an hour. When we come back, a doctor will answer this question. Word of the day is junkyard.
When you hear the word junkyard said between now and 10 o'clock, caller nine will win a $236 value four pack. It's a SeaWorld. L.O.B. was just itching. She is convinced. She's convinced. She's talked herself out of bed bugs. She does not believe she has fleas. She now believes and she doesn't believe that she's a meth head. She now believes that she is got eczema. Possibly. Possibly eczema. I read online, one of the doctors on the forums was like, sometimes if you have dry skin or something, it can feel like you have bugs crawling on you. And then once you tell yourself that they are, then you can't get it out of your head. So I can't get it out of my head. Be honest. Have you had cat crack? I've not had cat crack. I love... What is that called, Lauren? I don't know. Does anybody know what this is called when you do the shake? It's kind of like the shaker. Kind of doing the dice, but you're not really throwing them. Yes. It's a great way you do it. It's like you're rolling dice right up at your chest, but you're not throwing them. Yeah, it's white man dance. I can do that really fast. Love it. 570-1949. Easy. Hello, man. Stop it. At 730, we will be playing Will There, Won't They with Karen from HR. Oh, boy. Yesterday, we asked Karen the question.
Will you allow us to shoot you in the butt with a BB gun? This morning at 730, she will come into the studio and she will answer the question. Before she answers the question, we'll wager on what she's going to say. Yes, we will. Now, if she says yes, she will, then okay. She'll take a BB. Who's going to shoot? I'm not doing it. Oh, I'll shoot her. Okay. Oh, boy. Jay will do it. So there you go. We will be playing that in just a bit. Now, before we went to break, I asked the question, how often do you think you pick your nose? Is it A, once a week? B, once a day? C, once an hour? Or D, several times an hour? Woods, what do you think the answer is? C. At least once an hour? For me. Yeah, is this average or what? Average person. In the car, you know, several times an hour. Around here, maybe once an hour. What would you answer if you were speaking for the entire population? B, which is once a day. You guys think once a day? Once a day. People pick their nose at least once a day. This was Dr. Oz on The Okra Show. It's five times an hour. This has been studied. Folks have done this work. You think about it. I'm not talking about going in deep.
I'm talking about just going to your nose. Just going to the nose. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Just this bit. Yeah. I don't think that's considered, Woods. That's kind of a pick. Watch. That's a pinch. And I think that what he's talking about is at least right at the tip. I think? Right at the tip with your thumb. Just, you know. Yeah. He, you know, not, you know, really putting your finger in your nose. I think even if I do this, because like. I constantly fear that I have bats in the cave, so sometimes I'll just, like, go across the bottom just with a sweep. Right. And I think that might even be considered because the same germs are getting on your hands. Yeah. I don't know, but I do it a lot. I love to pick my nose. I do, too. It's great. You know, it's a ritual for the shower. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely, because I want cleanliness. I want... Do you do, like, the... I do the farmer's blow in the shower. 100%. Yeah, I do the... And the sweep. And then a sweep, and then a rinse. I'll do a rinse, and then maybe another... I have a different tactic now. What I do now, because the shower is the greatest place for it, the steam loosens things, and I need cleanliness. I need, you know, I need cleanliness. If there was an equivalent...
of a brawn toothbrush for the nose, I would use it. 100%. Oh, yeah. Sienna always catches me with bats hanging. Yeah. Always. But my new ritual is that I allow at least five minutes for the steam to do its job. And then I take the palm of my hand and I rub it real hard on the outside of my nose just to get things loosened. And then I do the farmer blow. Nice. Yeah. And it seems to, you know, really have things. I see when I play ball on the weekends with my team. the tipsy crows, I do a lot of farmer's blowing when I'm out there. I don't know why. It's like when I get on the field, I'm always playing first base. I'm like, always. It's disgusting. Pick my nose the whole time. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of guys, I think girls do too. I remember hearing my dad, it would be like a foghorn in the shower. Yeah. Just over and over. Like, oh, dad's in the shower. I wonder if, well, I was going to say, I wonder if my wife is. Grossed out by that, but I think the answer is clearly yes. She probably hears it. Yeah, yeah. And she probably thinks, what a Neanderthal. No, I think every guy does it. Yeah? She never does it. Do you ever pick one and put it on her? No. Why? That's so fun. Oh my gosh, Woods. My wife hates it. She hates it. Who doesn't hate it? It's so funny. You guys out there, try it. It's funny. Woods' new thing is farting off the air. And it's not funny to me. It's my home. This is my home too.
Am I just paying rent here? It's your workplace. It's not my home. It's our home. No. It's our home. No, it is not. If I need to go, I'm going to go. If we're having a meeting at Mikey's house, would you just cut loose? Yes. Wow. I think that you are allowed to do that at your home, but I would still think that you are a knuckle dragger. What about Jay? Jay does it. You're not picking on him. Because he doesn't do that in front of me. Nope. He does that in his own space, which I think is, you know, whatever. But I don't. It's his space. It's his space. You guys don't worry about it. He did it yesterday, Woods. Oh, yeah. So much. And he giggled. Because I know it drives him crazy. And it drives all of us crazy. I don't care, really. You should care. I don't. I even said, didn't I? It's fun. Didn't I say really nicely, please? Yeah, didn't I say please really nicely that if I need to, I need to do it? Just accept me for who I am. I guess. You don't have to change me. I guess. I just don't like it. You love it. Nobody loves it.
You kind of like it. No, everybody hates it. Why does everyone laugh when I go brr? Everyone goes ha ha ha ha. Because it's a fake out. Because it's funny. When you do it with your mouth, it's a fake out. No, when I do it. When you do it for real, I go what? You guys all go ha ha ha. It's so funny. Mikey Show, hello. Hello, am I on the air right now? Yeah, you're on the air. This is the Mikey Show. Hello. Are you sure that I'm on the air? You're on the air. Just let me know when we're on. We're on. We wouldn't be able to hear you if you weren't on. Oh, hi. Hi there, San Diego. I was calling in. I'm a big fan of you guys. Thank you. And I'm calling in because I would like to introduce myself to everyone listening in San Diego. Awesome. My name is Sandra Rossi with two N's. Okay. Why is there two N's? Because there was already a Sandra Rossi with one N. Oh, okay, okay. So S-A-N-N. D-R-A. Yes. Okay. Sandra Rossi, two N's. and the reason I'm calling this morning is because I am doing a radio tour. You are? Yes, I am. I've never heard of you. I'm going on all the radio stations here in San Diego, and I'm just letting everyone know that I am, in fact, a write-in for a governor. Oh, congratulations. Thank you very much. You're welcome. And I am running on various platforms. Well, I've got to tell you.
We've talked a lot about the gubernatorial candidates right now, and really neither of them are looking too great. I couldn't agree with you more. What are your platforms? What do you stand for? I am for... Passports? Yes. Like the issuing of them? The printing of them? Just them in general? Yeah, I think everyone should have one. You like them? I like to travel. I can get on board with them. Like passports as well. Is that a platform, though? Yeah. I guess to her. It is. It is. Seems like a general interest. I'm very pro-clothing. I'm pro-health. Did you say clothing? Clothing and health. I'm very pro-handbag. People should wear clothing. Yes. And people should be healthy. Clean clothing. Did you say healthy or handbag? Handbags, too. And healthy. And I'm also very pro-clean water. Okay, good. I can get behind that. These are the things that I am going to run against. I am anti-shoplifting and robbery. Who isn't? I am against... Probably shoplifters and robbers. That's right. And I think that it's time that the community come together as a people and say, we're really done with this. I am against identity theft. I am against... Who is it? I am against... Identity theft.
I am against the illegal deportation of marijuana across our borders. I am against illegal things. You're against illegal things. Yes, I am. So you're pro clean water and passports. And clothing. And clothing. And handbags. By the way, did I mention that I'm Sandra Rossi with two N's? Yes. You did. I didn't know if I had. If you're interested, by the way, in who I am. I just want to let you know that I am a mother of seven. Okay? Okay. What are your kids' names? Daniel, Patrick, Wilma, Stephen, Grace, Stephen. You said you have two Stephens? Stephen is Pamela's nickname. So that's why I... So what were they again? Stephen, Butch, Rhonda, and Pill. Wait, Rhonda and... Rhonda is Stephen's nickname. I thought Pam was Stephen's nickname. That is, but you were talking about it. Stephen is Pamela's nickname. Oh, yeah. Anyway, I'm a mother of seven. I'm very happily married. I have been for four years, and I... What is your husband's name? Wait a minute. Four years, seven kids? My husband's name is John. John. Yes. Sounds like a bit. This sounds... Four years, yeah, four years, seven kids. Can I just tell you my website, please?
Okay. How about it? Because I just want people, if you're interested in, you know, knowing more about me. It's probably Sandra Rossi for governor, right? No, it isn't. Oh. It's very close to that. It's actually, my website is Sandra, with two Ns, sandrarossihandbags.com. Handbags? Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. Did you just have that leftover, and now you're putting your candidate information on that? What do you mean? Why do you have a handbag site? Oh, well, yes, I sell handbags. So you're just now, you're going to change the platform of that site for your candidacy? Yes. And if you're interested in Sandra Rossi handbags, which are the finest made handbags in North America, certainly you could. You can pick one up if you want. But that is certainly not the reason. For SandraRossiHandbags.com with two N's. Sandra. Sandra with two N's. And our M1s can go look at this website right now. It's up? Of course. It's active. No, it's a fake website. Oh, okay. Woods. Of course. It's a website that's up. SandraRossiHandbags.com. That's Sandra with two N's. Was your name at birth Sandra with two N's? Was my name what?
Sandra with two N's at birth or you changed it because there was another Sandra Rossi? There was already another Sandra Rossi with one N. So I am Sandra Rossi handbags.com with two N's. Seven kids. Yes. Seven. Because I'm a family woman. What's their names again? Butch and Rachel and Melissa. Rachel? Wait. And Stephen. Right. And Patrick. Patrick. And... Karen. What about Rhonda? That's six. Karen is Rhonda's nickname. And that's six. I thought you said Rhonda was Steven's nickname. I didn't say that. You forgot one. No? Oh. Little Bobby. Who could forget Little Bobby? Yes. Bobby, actually, Barbara's nickname. Wow. This is making a lot more sense. Yeah, it makes sense. Uh-huh. So Sandra. Yes. You're not actually on the ballot. We'll have to write your name in. Sandra Rossi. With two N's. I didn't do that. I like what you stand for. I like what you're against. Handbags. You're in on clean water and handbags and clean clothing. So you're in on clothing? Yeah, I like clothing. Against shoplifters. I'm against cocaine. I'm against cocaine as well. I'm against heroin. I'm against heroin. I am against stuff that people...
You're not really painting with a broad brush here. I think you need to reevaluate what a platform is. Let me ask you a question. Are you an American? I am. Are you a Californian? I think so. Now I am. Do you believe that it would be wrong for a Californian to tie something around their arm that would be heroin used? Yeah, but I think that's just kind of common knowledge. Okay, that's what I'm saying. If you believe in what I believe, then that's a vote for JanetRossiHandbags.com with two N's. Sandra with two N's. Yeah, Sandra, not Janet. Not Janet. Did I say that? Yes. Oh, I just watched Goodfellas. Yeah, that makes sense. Janet Rossi. Sandra Rossi. Sandra Rossi. Yeah, it's running for Gavin. I'm right in handwriting for the thing. Did I say that I was for handbags? And if you are, you can see the finest made handbags in America, North America, right now on Sandra Rossi Handbags dot com. It's Sandra with two N's, but I'm running for governor, and that's the reason that I'm writing. And calling and doing the radio tour. Exactly. Not to plug your handbag website. No, no, no, no, no. In fact, I have to go because I'm calling Jeff and Jer. Okay. Tell them, give them our love. Good luck with that. They're not on the air anymore. You're right. They're in the air.
Wow. What a wacky lady. I'm looking at a site. There's a lot of handbags sold out here. Yeah. Really? There's an actual site. Yeah. You can really go to it? Mm-hmm. Check it out, too. Sandra Rossi handbags. Huh. Sandra with two N's? I think that's what she said a couple times. I'd vote for her. Why? Yeah. She's better than Meg Whitman. Oh, boy. Watched that debate the other day. Wow. I think Sandra Rossi's much more qualified. We have, by the way, some audio that is crazy from that debate. I imagine. Well, Jerry Brown's camp was overheard calling Meg Whitman a whore. A hoo-ah. A hoo-ah. So anyway, 570-194-9 is our number. Oh, yeah. Let's do some of that. I want to know what's going on in the world of sports, and Woodsy's got it.
Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. The baseball playoffs are set. We talked a little bit about it yesterday. Now the rotations have been announced. The Yankees will take on the Texas Rangers tomorrow night. Actually, in the afternoon, like 4.30, I think, the game starts. And you are going to see CeCe Sabathia. bring the noise on the Texas Rangers. They're playing in Texas. Texas has home field advantage. And the Yankees have knocked the Rangers out of the playoffs for three years. But it was a while ago, and Joe Girardi, their manager, thinks that, you know, that long ago doesn't really have any effect on it. Cut one. I think history can play a role if you're facing a team that you've faced in the playoffs before where the players were on that team. Not one of those guys who happened to be on the Texas teams that we faced in the 90s. Who's throwing for the Rangers? The Rangers are going to go with C.J. Wilson, their lefty. So it's going to be a really good matchup. But the matchup that has me so excited to watch is Saturday. And it's Roy Halladay for the Phillies against Tim Lincecum for the Giants. Holy cow. Lincecum threw, I think, a two-hit shutout. Halladay threw a no-hitter in their first game. So the Giants have tweaked their rotation, too. They're going to have...
Jonathan Sanchez pitching second, and Matt Cain – actually, Matt Cain is going to pitch third. He'll get the home start. So, dude, baseball playoffs. It's going to be amazing. And Brett Favre says that he may be ending his 289 consecutive game streak. That is ridiculous. It's unbelievable, man. For a quarterback that's taken that pounding over the years and been sacked a lot, you know, he is going to – if you – You're a clown. You're a clown. You're a clown. If you factor in playoff games, 313 games, bro. But he's got some really bad pain on his elbow. They're saying it's tendinitis. He had it all wrapped up yesterday. Here he is talking about it. Here he is cut two. You're not going to make every throw, but I would have made some of those throws. And so from that standpoint, I don't want to play just to play. And so, once again, it hasn't gotten worse, but I'm being as cautious as I can. Wow. Maybe don't sell dong, people. Oh, wow. Got some details, too, for you on Marcus McNeil. $48 million. It's going to be five years. I could hand him up to $48 million. He is.
Got to be stoked for that, dude. An extra $1.8 million this season. And then around $30 million over the first three years of that contract. He's kind of, right now, he's not going to start on Sunday. But they're going to kind of work him in. He's going to sub in and out with Dombrowski. But here he is talking about how he's feeling. Cut three. Definitely. You know, I felt better today than I did the past two weeks. And that's pretty much the way I felt the past two weeks. You know, I've constantly been getting better. you know before practice and after practice working with my coaches trying to make sure i got in and got back in the floor of things i think when i get my routine down and get the practice schedule down and uh everything else i need everything's gonna come pretty simple that's right i hope it does because what we don't want is we don't want to see a video of that poor kid watching the rams game oh my god i don't have to oakland Yeah. Oh, no. Calm down. Calm down. Get away. Oh, wow. Get out of here. I'm trying to watch the damn game. Mom, it's not over yet. Get out of here. Don't curse at me. Get out of here. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Get away, Mom, please. I'm really trying to watch the game. Please, Mom. Please, get away from me. Yeah, and so what they're going to do, they're going to take it slow with Marcus because the last thing you want for him is to rush him back out there. He gives up a sack that knocks Rivers out for the rest of the year, so you want to make sure he's up to game snuff, my friend. That's Woods on Sports, by the way. All right, so our number here is 570-1949. We have audio. of Miley Cyrus going off on a paparazzi. Nice. Why was she going off on a paparazzi? We'll tell you. And we will also play Will They or Won't They? It's a brand new game that we have where we bring someone into the studio that works in the building and ask them, can we shoot you in the behind with a BB gun? And then we wager on whether or not they will say yes or no. That's next. Now, welcome back to Mikey Show.
Word of the day is junkyard, so you're waiting for us to say the word junkyard. When you hear the word junkyard, you call us, and caller number nine will win a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld worth $236, which is a real nice prize. So that's coming up in a little bit. We told you that Miley Cyrus was yelling at the paparazzi. She was yelling at them because they were filming. Her 10-year-old sister, while they were having breakfast, hears what happened. I'm having lunch with a 10-year-old. Can you not film me? I will call the police on you. You said you weren't going to film me. That's really rude. I was filming. It's fine. Oh, no, you were. Are you kidding me? Yes, I was. It's a 10-year-old. It's a 10-year-old. Don't film her. I'm asking you not to film her. And don't film me anymore. For real. I'm having breakfast with my family. All right, I'm sorry. You could not be any more disrespectful and rude. I'm not. You're filming a 10-year-old as we're trying to have breakfast. You are disrespectful and rude. Have some class, dude. Come on. Have some class. For real. I agree with Miley Cyrus. Me too. But that's kind of the pot calling the kettle black. What do you mean? To have some class comment. Oh. Come on. Come on. What is she, Grace Kelly? She's not claiming to be the classiest person out there. I'm a fool. I'm one kind of thing.
Have some class. She's not classless. A weak bit. I think it is. Oh, I think it's totally lame that that lady was doing that. Yeah. Come on. She's not classless. All right. Who? Miley Cyrus. I don't think she's classless. I don't think she is. She's so classy. She's not the definition of classy, but she's not classless. She's no Grace Kelly. Can't she be in the middle? Sure. Maybe she's in the middle. Yeah, she is. Maybe she's somewhere between. She said have some class. Maybe she's farting. Oh, wow, Woods. Come on, y'all. Give her a break. Maybe she's farting. Maybe she walks in a room and it smells like fart when she leaves. No, it does not. Much like myself. Why are you so anti... She is. Why are you so anti-Miley? Because she looks farty. I don't think she does, by the way. Definition. I think she's pretty. You do. I think she looks, by what your guy's definition of farty is, yes, sometimes she does look like that. A thousand percent. But in this... particular case in this audio. She was right, and that's all I have to say about it. Absolutely. I agree with you, L-O-B. Mm-mm-mm. And you, Michael. And you, Jay. You agree with everyone. All of you. That's weird. You're agreeable? I do think she's farty, though, and I do think that she's not classy. And I'll leave it at that. I don't really need to talk about it anymore. Well, wait a minute. I do have a question, though. Oh, boy. Now I'm going to get under the hood. Okay. Pull up the, uh, pull the latch. Okay. So, your issue with Miley is, wow.
How dare you say that someone isn't classy being that you're not classy. Yeah. Yet you're calling her not classy and at the same time saying that she's, quote, farty. Yeah, she looks farty. So is that classy to say that she's farty? Yes. Asked and answered. Easy as that. There you go. It is time for our very first monumental moment. It's a monumental moment. I'm nervous. It's time for our very first episode of Will They or Won't They. The way that it works is we go throughout the building, we find someone, and we don't find, as Wood said earlier, we're not going to find a young promotions dude that we know he's just going to be like, yeah, I'll do it.
You know, we're going to find an adult, a person, a real adult person. Unsuspecting. Unsuspecting. Somebody that you wouldn't necessarily suspect would be willing to get shot in the butt with a BB gun. Now, the question that we will ask is, will they or won't they take a BB? Now, we asked Karen. Karen is from HR. doesn't get any more unassuming than Karen from HR. Karen, pull that microphone up. And I've said, Karen reminds me a lot of my wife. My wife was actually an HR director. And HR directors have this in common. They're very appropriate. That's the thing. Yes. HR directors, at least within the walls of the building, are very appropriate. They wear appropriate attire. They are always presentable and very appropriate. They speak very appropriately. And that is the hallmark of all HR directors. Would you agree, Karen? Pretty much. For the most part. Yeah, for the most part. Karen kept looking at me like, what's he going to say? At least inside the walls. At least inside the walls. Be careful when you catch him outside of work. Well, the reason that I say that is because, you know, my wife could, you know, have a good time outside of those, you know.
four walls of a, of a building in the workplace. But while she was there, I mean, you know, you know, Rebecca. Yeah. And so it's pretty buttoned up. And, uh, but anyway, okay. So what we have to do now is we have to isolate Karen because we do not want our wagers to influence you whatsoever. So she's going to the isolation booth. Jay will escort you to the isolation booth and then we will all wager on whether or not. Karen will either take the BB or not take the BB. She's going into the isolation booth now. Jay will close the door. All right. Door's closed. Door's closed. Jay, what do you say? I think she will let me shoot her because she is a goer. She wrecked a four-wheeler. She was all bruised up. I think she is a fighter and a player. Woods? I say yes. I say she will. The reason that I say she will is because she's, I think she's adventurous. I think she's cool. And I think that at our Christmas party, I remember her singing karaoke and just, you know. Wiling out a little bit. A little while out. Yeah. You know? Now, we have all said that she will. So if she says yes, she's got to take a BB. And none of you guys take a BB. Right. Right.
But if she says, no, I will not take a BB, then all three of us. She doesn't take one, and all three of you guys take one. Correct. Oh, boy. All right, she can come back in. She can come back in. Easy yes or no question. That's right. Easy yes or no. So pull the microphone up. Pull the microphone up. Karen is now back in. She's got the headphones. You did not hear what we wagered, right? I didn't hear a word. And so, Karen, now is the moment. Will you or won't you? Take a BB. Okay, the first time you guys did this, I was in my car and I was driving somewhere and I heard you and I was laughing hysterically. That was the funniest thing I ever heard. The first time we shot somebody. Yes, it was hysterical. But now I'm on the other side of the radio. And I don't know how it's looking right now. And my daughter reminded me last night that I bruise very easily. So I'm going to have to say absolutely yes. Oh, that is awesome.
So what that means is, now I'll tell you, Karen, what we all said. Jay said, yes, you would take a BB. Woods said, yes, you will take a BB. And I said, yes, you will take a BB. Yes, I did. Wow. And the reason that I did is because one thing that I also know about the HR directors is they're adventurous. They're adventurous people. Yeah, you married one. I married one. You have insight. Insight, yes. That's correct. And so, Karen, now you have to take a BB. Yeah. Well, what did Lauren say? I did not weigh in because I'm going to let the boys be boys with the BB gun game. That's right. Oh, you big chicken. Called out. All right, so here's how we do it. I've already taken my BB. The BB is taken over here. Now, you're really willing to take a BB? Well, yeah. Yeah, you're fired, but I'll take a minute. Yeah, you're fired, Mike, but sure. Yeah. We'll talk about this later. This is legendary, by the way. So you've got to take the headphones off, and I'm going to turn the music off so that you're going to get all the sound and everything. Holy crap. This is legendary. So you come over. I can't watch. I am uncomfortable. You've got to go over here. I can't watch. I am uncomfortable. I'm going to watch. Oh, I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch. Here we go. Here we go. Jay is aiming. Jay is aiming. Yes!
She took it! Yes! She took it! Oh, that was great! That is great! It hurts! It stings a little. Karen, did it sting? Yeah! Yeah, now you know what these fellas go through. At first it doesn't feel like anything, and then it starts to be like, ooh. At first it's like, woo! Woo! That is... Epic! I'm sorry. I love Karen. She's the greatest. That is the greatest. Nice job. Thank you, Karen, very much. Round of applause, please, for Karen. You are the best. Thank you. So great. Get some ice on that bottom. Yeah. Yeah. That was so awesome. We just shot our HR director in the butt with a BB gun. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. You don't get to do that in other places. No, you don't. And we had to approve it. Through HR. Yes. Approve it through her. Yeah. And be like, okay, so now that we've approved this game, will you be the first one? How great is that? Incredible. Oh, my gosh. It's the best. It made me so nervous. Ugh. Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Brilliant.
Jay. That was fun. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. Now in my head, I'm like, I know who I'm gunning for next. Oh, yeah. Woods, if you come knocking on my door, I'm going to kick your ass. They all can say no. I'm going to kill you. Anyone that wants to can say no. You know, Lauren, I'm not going to say no. I'm going to kill him. That's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to shoot him. I'll slit his throat. All right. I got an email for you. Anybody can weigh in on this if you want. Oh, man. The number is 570-1949, or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Mikey, I don't want to say my name on the air, but have something weird that happens, and I want to know what you guys think, even if you just write me back. My brother's wife, who we will call Melissa, he puts in quotations. Fake name. Her name's not Melissa. Fake name. Does this thing where she calls me. when her and my brother get into fights. I talk to her about it, but I feel weird about it. I told my brother once, and they got into a huge fight over it, and she stopped for a long time, but she's doing it again. She does it with my wife too, but she likes to do it with me more because she knows my brother listens to me. Have you ever had that happen, M1 Loner? No, I haven't had it happen, but I can tell you un...
Equivocally, if it did happen, I would say... And then she would laugh and say, what? And I would say, that's between you and my brother. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know anything about it. It's none of my beeswax. And I don't want any... I don't want any drama. Reverse it. Rebecca doesn't have any siblings, correct? Let's say she did. She's going to her sister, Katie. Uh-huh. To talk about what goes on with you guys. You got a problem with that? Absolutely. Well, that's different, though. Yeah. Absolutely, I do. It's different in talking about Katie. It would be like if you went to her sister. Yeah, that's right. That's what the reverse is. So it would be like Rebecca going to Steve, your brother. Yeah. You'd have a major problem with that. Yeah. 100%. Or it would be if Rebecca had siblings like me going to her sister and saying, hey, you know, can you talk to Rebecca? She's been distant. Can you talk to Rebecca? Because she's just been so weird and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Sister-in-laws. Jamie and Tessa, my wife and my sister-in-law, they talk all the time, and I'm sure they talk about what goes on in our house, and I don't want to know. And I am so glad you asked, because I also say, unequivocally, problems that you're having should be between you guys. I agree. It should not go outside of that. And if it does, you shouldn't.
and we've all done it. When you're married. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're married. We've all done it, and it's not good, and if I've done it, I go, oh, man, I shouldn't be doing that, you know? Yeah, we all do it, and then after you do it, why did I do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll tell you, unequivocally, should not be talking about problems. Outside of it. You keep it in the family. Well, unless maybe you have like a therapist or something where it's confidential. Yeah. Then talk about it with them. But I've never been married, but I've been in relationships. And then sometimes you're really mad at that person. And you think like all this bad stuff. And then you're like, I wish I could take back what I said. How bad does this suck? Okay. So LLB and I are dating. Yeah. And you're my boy. Yeah. And I go to you and I go, dude, I got to get out. She's being a total B. I can't stand it. Are you married or? No, let's say we're dating. Let's say we're dating. And I want, I got to get out of this thing, man. She's a pain and it's just not going to work out. And she's being such, she's being so mean. And you're like, yeah, dude, I know she's terrible. And then we get back together and then you're like.
Really? With this bit? You're going to keep coming back to me? So many people in my life that I know have cried wolf. I've done it. I've cried wolf so many times. Me too. Always bites you in the butt. Because when you're mad at somebody, the only thing going through your head is, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right. And the natural inclination is to point out how wrong that other person is. Can I say... And get help. And get help and support and allies. And get affirmation. Like, you know she's wrong, right? Yeah, get all your allies together. Well, I mean, I'll be... You guys know the way that I roll. I'm always straightforward. If I say something, it's because I truly mean it, for better or for worse. So you know that what you're getting from me, you may not like it, but if we're discussing it, it's the truth. There's no doubt about it. And so if a friend came to me and they were dating, they're not married, because if they're married, then we probably shouldn't talk about it. But let's say they're dating. and they came to me and they said, hey, here's what's going on. I'm looking for some wisdom here. Give me some wisdom on this. What do you think? If I thought that my friend was in the wrong, I would say to my friend, I think maybe there's something to that. And I think maybe you should consider that. Absolutely. If I think that my friend's significant other is in the wrong, I'm going to say,
I think that significant other is in the wrong, and I think that you're well-founded, and I think that you have a point. Now, if they get back together after that, I don't have any problem. I'm not eating crow. You didn't do anything. You didn't say anything mean. You weren't like, yeah, man, she is a bee, you know? Well, I mean, if I said that person is poisonous, and if I said blah, blah, blah, whatever I said, I'm going to stand by it. Right. I meant that with... But so long as you got the information objectively. Sometimes someone's so mad and they're like, and then they said this and they said that. And it's like the way that you retell the story sometimes, you put such a negative spin on that person when really then you step back and think, well, I did omit the fact that I said this first to provoke them. Sure, right, sure. There's always two sides to every story. But I think that the point is, is that based on the information... you know, that I have to work with, here's what I think. Yeah. You know, I have said, I don't think that you should marry somebody. You know, when I worked with Skye, I didn't think she should marry her husband when she got married because she got married at 22. Yeah. And I said, you're too young. You got to give it time. You got to wait till you mature. She's happily married, been happily married for a long time. And, you know, some people are wired in a way where, you know, she was very mature from a very young age.
And she was able to handle it. I would have said to my own mother, you're crazy. She got married when she was 17. Wow. What do you think I would have said? Based on the data in front of me. Right. Of course. That would have been the answer. Now, did it work out? Yeah. Does that mean that people, that it's wise to get married at 17? No. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's wise to get married at 17. Doesn't mean it's wise to get married at 22. I read a statistic one time that up until we are 25 years old, we are in general capable of changing our behaviors and habits. After 25 years old, the statistic plummets. Wow, that's interesting. At 25 years old, in general, whatever we are predisposed to are generally our habits.
That is not to say that we cannot change those habits. Yes, we can before I'm flooded with emails saying, well, I did this and I did that. I mean, listen, I was a full blown alcoholic and changed, you know, after 25, after 25. And what I'm saying is, is if you're with, if you're a messy person, and before you turn 25, you kind of make a change where you become neat. Okay. If you're 27 and you're a messy person, statistically, you're going to be a messy person for the duration. And statistics don't say that you can never be a clean person again, but you're fighting an uphill battle to get rid of that habit. Yeah, absolutely. Let's see. M1 Jackie's teacher from San Diego. Are you there? Not Jackie's teacher, Jackie's teacher. Oh, Jakey. Your son, Jakey. My son, Jake? Yeah. Oh, there you go. Which teacher? Andrea. Andrea. How you doing? How are you? Good. I was just going to comment on the... When you go outside, if you're having trouble with your spouse, when you go outside that relationship, whether it's your family or your friends or whatever, then you're going to have another issue, and that is that that other family member or friend is going to have...
Those thoughts in their head for however long, especially if you're married, for hopefully the rest of your life. And it's really hard to change someone's mind after they have those negative thoughts in their head. You make a great point. Now you've got two issues. That's what my mom said that her mother used to say to her when she would start. She was young when she got married. I think she was 22. And she would start to say, oh, you know, I'm having this problem, whatever, with my dad. My grandmother would say, stop it. I don't want to hear it. I want to like him. He's my son-in-law, and that's how I want to see him. I don't want to, she didn't want to hear those. Wisdom. Yeah, just ask Jamie's friends about that. Yeah, I mean, my brother-in-law and my mom have issues, and it's kind of the same deal. Yeah. And it's because of something that happened, you know, way before my sister even got married to him. Yeah. So, and it causes. It's causing problems even now. And we've been married for almost eight years. So it's hard to get rid of that stuff once it's there. Yeah. Hey, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Great call. Great point. Yeah. Thank goodness that my mother-in-law is wired the way she's wired. Yeah, no doubt. Because she loves me. Yeah, she does. Shouldn't. She should, but based on past events, if you're going to look at it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said that sarcastically.
She has forgiveness in her heart. She has a lot of forgiveness in her heart. And, you know, we went through a period where it was pretty rough. Yes. You know, and if it had been my daughter, I would not have been able to be as cool as she was. Have such open arms. That's right. She had very open arms. Mama Jean. 570-1949. Love Mama Jean. I've only met her once and I love her. She's the sweetest woman. The sweetest lady ever. Cheers. Lady? Woman. Sorry. Want to play Movie Plot Hot Potato? You know I do. Yes. 570-1949. What do we have to give away, Jay? We have all kinds of good stuff. Do we have the UFC thing? Oh, yeah. Can we do that? Yeah, absolutely. Let's do the UFC pay-per-view. We'll do a UFC pay-per-view for Movie Plot Hot Potato. You're going to call in, and you are going to pick either Woods or Jay to win Movie Plot Hot Potato. They're going to pass the hot potato back and forth.
for 60 seconds, and I have to figure out the movie based on the plot. Whoever's holding that hot potato at the end of 60 seconds loses. Call us now, 570-1949. Takes a BB too, brother. Takes a BB too, that's right. All in. What's going on? We're getting ready for a movie plot hot potato. We're not playing just yet. I thought it was going to be a debate about the peanuts. No, Jay's lying. It's not, because I wanted the can. And you handed me the bag because I didn't want the... I gave you the can. I didn't want the M&M's and everything else. I gave you the can. No. What we're talking about is the case of the missing can of nuts. Peanuts. I do know this much. It was empty at the end of the show. Yeah, it was empty at the end of the show. There wasn't any left over. After our 10-hour meeting. Here's the deal. It's kind of like when, in our job, when we put something on a recap, it's fair game. It's kind of like if you leave it on the counter, it's going to get feasted on. You know that? It's very true.
So that's fair game. I could eat that pork chop. Is that lamb chop? What is that? Of all things, you know, of all things. You know, because lamb chops are more common in, you know, shake and bake form. Like I know what a lamb chop looks like. I don't shop at Stirletab. Okay, well, let's say that one we're just guessing. At what kind of chop? I see a bone sticking out of Tupperware and it smells foreign to me. Guys, is that mutton? Is that... Smells of will. Smells like nothing I ever cook. Guys, is that haggis that's been... That lamb chop. So far-fetched. Yeah, real far-fetched Mikey would be sucking down lamb chops in here.
Outrageous. Is that shake and bake for lamb chop? Eject. Eject. Eject. Eject. Eject. She's getting mad. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I thought you were. I'm having fun. I was like, oh, no. Why is she sharpening a knife then? Oh, boy. I'm going to see you guys tomorrow. Oh, no. Maybe just play your stupid game. Wow. Got real icy, didn't it? Yeah. Should we reset, come back, get the music? Hey, you guys want to dish it out? You got to be able to take it, too. Remember those nuts that are missing? Let's shut the mother down. You know, contrary to popular demand, lamb chops have become very in season recently. Okay. In fact, most restaurants have now gone from the pork chop is the other white meat to the lamb chop.
Is the other white meat. I wouldn't know. I don't eat lamb. Yeah. I don't eat lamb. I don't really go out to eat that much. Unless I go with you. Could I order the lamb chops and applesauce, please? I think what he's saying is this is a pork chop. That's a pork chop. I know. I think that is what he's saying. That is what I'm saying. Crazy. You want to just start over? Let's just start over. Ready? I miss pork chops. We'll just start over. Welcome back, everybody. Please forget that last minute, minute and a half. Yeah. She's going to roast me up on a spit real good, Mikey. She's going to roast me up. I will be roast so much. I felt like we needed to call Cesar Milan in here like a junkyard dog was running around about to attack. I was scared. Holy cow. Lamb chop joke. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Lauren O'Brien. Lamb chop O'Brien. That's Lamb chop O'Brien. I bet that won't stick.
Easy lamb chop. Nobody photoshopped a picture of L.O.B. as a lamb chop. The puppet or the disgusting meat? Any and all. Yes. Sienna's not here. She is on maternity leave, but we'll be back in less than two weeks. Jay's our producer. Screening our phone calls. Scrap. Scrap. It's Chris. Let's see. M1 Omar from San Diego. doing, Mikey? I'm good. Who would you like to select? Woods. All right. Hang on the line, please. Up next is M1 Robert from Vista. And what was the word of the day? Junkyard. That is correct. You got it. Winner, winner. You just won a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld worth $236. Hang on the line, please. And M1 Jake, you've got J. Lucky. Hang on the line. Silence.
I know. Sounds like he was pretty enthusiastic. Yeah, he's up. All right, the game is movie plot hot potato. The way that it works is that we have 60 seconds, and I have to try to guess what movie Jay and Woods are talking about based on the plot. At the end of 60 seconds, whoever's holding the hot potato is the loser. So, the object, get it out of your hands as quick as you can. You ready? We are. Here we go. Okay, it was a... Wow, this is a lot tougher than I thought. It's a spoof, and it takes place in the air. Airplane. Yes, thank you. Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, they're in Boston. One of them is a genius. He finishes equations on the wall. Good Will Hunting. This is an unstoppable cyborg. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Terminator. Jack Nicholson, also in Boston. Matt Damon. Leonardo DiCaprio. The Departed. These terrorists take over a building. Bruce Willis. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Multiple. Come on. Yippee-yay-yo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Diehard. Kevin Costner plays baseball. A guy comes out of the cornfields. Dream. Dream. Dream. Come on, dude. Chulisho Jackson comes out of the corn. He plays catch with his dad. Oh, my God. Is it? Field of names.
I think you both should get shot because you both said the words of the name of the movie. You said Air for Airplane. You said Fields for Field of Dreams. I said, but I was trying to say plane. Maybe you get shot a little bit. Dang it. Dang it. It takes place in the sky. Okay. Field of Dreams. I knew the movie. I know. I know you did. Ugh. Sure did. Sometimes his brain doesn't work, you know, as fast as his mouth and vice versa. Here we go. Great. M1 Jake. Yo. You are a winner. Oh, yeah. And Woods is about to take a BB. Hang on a line. Here we go. Right in the middle. Oh, yeah. Right in the middle. That got you right in the concourse. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 570-1949. Oh, boy, that stung. Is the number. Give us a call. He got straight material. Oh. That's fantastic. Oh, it didn't hurt? No, it hurt like crazy. It hurt like crazy. That is the luck to draw. God, it's real good. I mean. Straight cloth? Really? If you would. I was shooting text. Man. You just escaped. I was shooting for the boys. I was shooting for the dangly bits. Yep. I brought this up yesterday, but we never got to talk about it. It's the concept of, and I want to know if anybody knows what this is. It's the concept of talking to the baby. Now, the reason that I say this is because I witnessed it.
I was an eyewitness at a restaurant and then I have my own story, but to the restaurant and I heard a woman with a baby, an infant that doesn't speak. She was with her husband and she said to the baby, daddy's in a bad mood right now. I've heard that. I've heard it too. I've heard it too. Personally? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now when it happened. This was with our first child, Jake. When it happened to you personally. When it happened to me personally. And I said, babe, we must have an agreement that we do not communicate with one another through the baby. I think that's a good agreement. 100%. It's a good agreement. And she said, I wasn't communicating. Aren't you? She goes, okay, I was. So she said, okay, no more of that. And it's never been a thing.
The deal, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, for sure. I've seen whole conversations. Well, daddy's just in a bad mood right now. Well, maybe if mommy didn't insist on coming to this restaurant. Well, daddy's just always wants to pick the restaurant. So mommy thought it'd be good for her to pick one. The kid's sitting there like, really? What do you want from me? Mommy should pick a restaurant that she knows daddy. Instead of picking a restaurant that she knows daddy doesn't like. Daddy doesn't like vegan food, but mommy does. Daddy thinks it's repulsive. Daddy's hungry and wishes that he had something to eat that he likes to eat too. Daddy doesn't like tofu or bean sprouts. You, when you grow up, you should learn to share and be considerate. That's real passive aggressive. Does Rebecca ever... Like, because what we do, we do it with our dogs, but we don't do it. I will take on the personality of a dog. Yeah, that's different. No, but this is seriousness. That's seriousness. But I will, you know, I'll be like. Will you be serious when you do it? Not like. See, you're messing around. Yeah, I'm doing bits. And I will probably do that bit with my kids as a bit. Well, you'll be like. As a joke. You'll be like, hi, mommy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, mama. It's lucky. Yeah, or senior beans or something. Because you're able to, Woodsy is able to passively.
passive-aggressively communicate, but in a fun way. Yeah, but my wife and I, we were, she actually made a really great observation about me last night. We were laying in bed and she goes, you know what? Because I do a lot of Facebook arguing. It's kind of my bit. I like to start stuff and then I like to argue and the whole thing. And it helps me, like what I'll do is I'll post something and I'll throw like some chum in the water. Facebook arguing. Yeah. I throw some chum in the water, right? Yeah, Facebook fighter. Yeah, Facebook fighter. Well, I mean, I'll fight you, but I throw some chum in the water and then I just see what people say and then I like to respond and do my whole thing. Throw the chum and then run away. No, no, I'm there. I'm ready. Yeah, come back and check. It sounds like a good idea. It really is. Like when you're considering ideas, that sounds like a good one. Well, it's funny that you mention that because my missus tells me, you know, babe, we never argue anymore. And she goes, I think it's because you do all your arguing on Facebook. You're getting out all your aggression. I get out all, like, I don't pick fights with her anymore. And I don't, like, I'm never argumentative at home. Maybe buy a piñata. I don't want a piñata. I've got you. But she was like, listen.
She's like, we never argue. And I'm like, I'm sitting there, I'm like, you're right, we don't. Because I spend my nights arguing about frigging baseball on Facebook. I love the Woods family. It's crazy. And I'm just like, yeah. I mean, now she says stuff to me and I'm like, okay. Or you throw your corn tortillas against the window. Yes, at work. At work. I don't like corn tortillas. And if I get corn tortillas, it... It infuriates me. Right. But I'm the one that wears a robe. Let me explain. Elton over there wants flour tortillas. Elton John, just to clarify. And our intern has the audacity to bring back corn tortillas. It wasn't Chris, by the way. It wasn't Chris. It wasn't Will's fault. He asked for floor. Yeah. He was asking for it. What did you say? He was asking for it. That's right. No, floor. You said he was asking for it. I meant flour. Preguntale. Preguntale. They don't speak great English down there. I wrote flour, he brought back corn, and I was like, oh my God, but you know what I did? Yeah, I'll tell you what he did. He thought it would be a good idea to throw the corn tortillas against the window. I hate corn tortillas! Splat! Splat. And then, you know what happened? Did you guys even realize what happened? No. He found the flour tortillas bottom buried in the bag.
Are you serious? Yeah, he goes, here's your flour tortillas, pal, and walked away. I was like, I was like, if you've ever seen the movie Step Brothers, there's a scene at the very beginning where Will Ferrell's at his parents' wedding, and he's like, I didn't want salmon. I said it a hundred times. That's me. That was. With corn tortillas. Yeah. I don't like corn. You were so ready to feast. You were like, oh, mama. I was like, I had my knife and my fork, and I was going back and forth, sharpening them up, like, here we go. It's time to feast. Yeah. Corn. I'm a diva. I'm sorry. Okay, so let's put this out there. If you've ever communicated through your baby, 570-1949, I want to hear about it. Oh, my gosh. I just thought of the worst way you communicate through the baby. Oh. Oh, I hope nobody out here does it. Mommy's feeling a little randy tonight. Oh, God. L-O-B? Does daddy want to play? Oh, that's disgusting. My spirit left my body. I couldn't even finish. Lauren thrills me. Have you ever heard that? I don't know, but I'm trying to think. She's like, I don't know, but I'll do it. I'm going to do it. I'm just trying to think. It probably happened. No. I can't imagine. Are you kidding? It's going to happen at her house. Mommy got some new lingerie. What are you talking about, Willie? Got him. I'm sure this made Lauren very sad last night.
Fifth person voted out of Survivor Nicaragua. Tyrone. That's five. That's enough. Now you've ruined it for me. Spoiler alert. Oh, really? Oh, Tyrone. Spoiler alert. You watch Survivor, Jay? Yeah. Nerd. Maybe you watch it. You watch Jersey Shore. I don't watch it. You do. You know every episode. I've seen it. Steadily. Weekly. I watch it bi-weekly. I've seen it by accident. Jay has a real serious conversation with me off the air. He's like, hey, dude. Serious. If you just, man, if you could just not tell me who goes off Survivor, it would just mean so much to me. If you're going to throw a whammy up like that, I think. Like, yeah. It's kind of under the. Heads up, dude. Yeah, heads up with that. I wonder, in this city, how many parents tonight are going to be like. Mommy doesn't like what daddy does. They're going to be doing his bits and we're going to start fights tonight. Mommy wants to have sex. Mommy doesn't like when daddy calls a radio station and outs her. Yeah. Yeah. Mommy feels like daddy should probably drink a beer or two less. Per night. Oh, man. Don't you? Mommy thinks daddy would be comfortable on the couch.
Daddy thinks Mommy is very passive aggressive. So great. Daddy thinks Mommy loves very beautiful tonight. That's right. That's a good bit. That's a good bit. Mommy thinks that Daddy watches a lot of football. Lots of the time. Mommy got Daddy's credit card bill from Sir La Table. I didn't know anybody could spend that much money at Sir La Table. Mommy's wondering why Daddy... thinks that everybody's looking at him in the movie theater when in reality they're just laughing at that newsboy hat. Really? Woods is wearing a newsboy hat. Really? Right now. How about that one? Yeah, let's tell that one. Art imitates life. Yeah. Woods is at the movie theater wearing that newsboy hat that he's got on right now. Got my newsboy cap on. Woods is like. I call it my Brad Pitt, but you can call it newsboy. It's fine. Hey, are you? Hey. Woods is like. Say hello. Dude. recognizing me babe I think I was like I think that dude's a listener because he's looking me up and down he's like I think you know I'm looking I see the recognition yeah my wife she could only be my wife that would have a comment like this she goes no he's probably making fun of that hat just like that I go as loud as I could Jamie's good she is good man she is quick Michelle M1 Michelle from Casa de Oro what's up
Mikey, I'm a nanny for different people. I have heard so many things. I've had parents come through and say, you know, little boy, tell nanny what mommy and daddy are going to do tonight. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. In all fairness, she was nannying for Ron Jeremy. That is true. That is true. That is true. So you have to hear that? Oh, I do. I hear, you know. Tell nanny what daddy didn't want to eat last night for dinner and what daddy did with his plate. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Tell daddy that he should just tell me if he doesn't like what I made for dinner so I don't have to throw it away and then not make it again. Daddy's like, how does the nanny know? I didn't tell her. Little Johnny told her. Little Johnny. Amazing. Thank you very much, Michelle. I bet you see all kinds of stuff. I bet if we got your nanny on the phone, we would hear some stuff. Let's get her on the phone. We should. And see if we can. Really? Yeah. We said she can. Yeah, I mean, if she's not doing something. In my country. In my country, people don't just call and put on radio for no reason. Unsuspecting? In my country, this is called put on blast.
In my country, this is called throw under bus. And then put in reverse. In my country, I would be in between rock and hard place. Yeah, in my country, they would call this catch 22. In my country, how you say, in the creek, up the creek. Up the creek, no paddle. In my country, I keep job. Yeah. In my country, I'm screwed, they say. Yeah, in my country, I not made fun of and picked on by my boss before who gives me a trash can to drive. In my country, I choose between telling secrets and take BB. Yeah, is that what we do? In my country, Mexican men do laundry. Big Floyd guy. I like this one. Do you? Yeah, I do. So, as you know, My wife, she has to put up with a lot. Yes. I have so many idiosyncrasies that she's got to deal with that, you know. It's got to be exhausting. It's got to be exhausting. It's exhausting. A lot of peccadillos. You have a lot of peccadillos. A lot of peccadillos. And so I can only imagine what someone like Nita, our nanny, who's from Hungary, must think of an American like me. You know what I mean? Mexican-American. Mexican-American.
So Nita is on the phone. Hi, Nita. Hi, guys. How are you doing today? We're good. Hi, Nita. We're good. How are you? How can I help you guys? She is such a good sport. She is. She's so sweet. She's so sweet. Pretty. Well, oh, wow, Jay. That was... Just throwing it out there. Did you hear that, Nita? She's a pretty girl. Did you hear that, Nita? Yeah. Jay wanted to let the world know that you're pretty. Yeah. I'm being nice. Yes, he is. And also a little creepy a little bit. Thank you, guys. You're very welcome. You're very welcome. So, Nita, tell everyone, and you can be as honest as possible, all those strange, weird things that you've noticed about me.
Do we have that much time? Well, you know, because... Well, I don't know how many minutes do we have. There's a lot of strange things. Uh-huh. There has to be some things that you've noticed. Let's see. Everybody knows that you are a Mexican. Yes, this is true. Yes. Even though you cannot speak Spanish. You know, for me, it's very, very normal because... I can speak German. I can speak Hungarian, of course. I can speak English. Of course, I know my pronunciation is not the best, but I try my best. Yes, you're good. Anyway, probably all of you heard about my car story in the previous week. Yes, yes, we did. Yes, we did. It will be another story. Yes, yes, the car story. With Mike, I was sitting in a car and talking about Laurence.
Santa baby story. He said, I never saw that Lauren is able to sing a Santa baby in the bathroom. And I said, you know, in Hungary we say that a little shy rabbit jump high. He said, hmm, I like it. I was telling the radio, but anyway, next day... Well, wait a minute, wait a minute, Nita. In fairness to me, in fairness to me, I didn't say, ooh, I like it, I like it. I was just saying, you're doing my bit? Yeah, no, I did. I said, oh, that's very funny. Yes. Next day, after when Mike stole it, next day, I came to the living room, Mike sitting here and watching a baby first TV. What? I was watching Baby First TV. What is that? It's always on. It's what the babies watch. He was watching what, I don't know what, a pretty new movie or something. Yes. He was interested in the Baby First TV, which was in Spanish language. I was just wondering, probably, does he enjoy it? I like it.
He was wishing that he knew how to speak his native tongue. Were there babies in the room? No. I was watching Baby First TV in Spanish. Try to pick up on some stuff. Listen, sometimes I need to just shut off and I need to turn my brain off and Baby First TV in Spanish work. I do that sometimes. You know, if I need this, I will go to run or go to the gym or I don't know. In my company, men like two. What account? Yes. Yeah. I thought I will have an adult host daddy. Yes, she thought she was going to have an adult host dad. And as it turned out, she has a kid. A kid, yes. That's watching Baby First TV. Yeah, and goes to bed at six o'clock. It goes to bed at six. I go to bed before the children. Before the children. Yeah. You know, the other thing that Rebecca didn't tell you before you got here, Nita, is that you were going to be watching after four babies and not three. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But I realized, so it's not a problem. Yeah, it's not a problem. It's not a problem. Well, Nita, you're the best. Thank you very much. Thank you, Nita. We love you, Nita. You literally made my week. Me too. Holy cow. I forgot to tell you guys that story. So I said, so here's what I told her. I go, you know, Lauren.
is the filthiest person on the show. You're full of it. And she goes, no, this is not true. It's got to be Woods. It must be. And I said, no. I said, actually, Woods is the third filthiest person on the show. You just don't expect it to come out of a female's mouth. And she says to me, You are last dirtiest. And I said, yeah, I wouldn't even consider myself dirty. But I said, but Lauren, I said, it's very funny to me that she is because she looks very, very shy. That's why it's shocking. Right. And she says, yes, in my country, they have these girls that look very pretty, very shy. And we have the saying, little bunnies jump high. The shy little bunny. The shy little bunny jump high. The shy little bunny jump high. That's so great. That is great. That needs to be the new Lauren thing. In my country also, Mike, when a man come home from long day's work and need to shut brain. Yes. He run? Yeah. Or you lift weight? Yeah. You watch Mexican baby show? Baby TV. Baby show. Okay. Yeah. It's called Hola, Bebe. In my country, if a man...
Needs to rest mind. He read novel. Maybe mix in a salad. Perhaps he go for jog. He no shovel cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory into face. Into face until point that he have sugar reaction. Second piece of day. Yes. He does not call to the factory of the cheesecake and then... Order from there so much food that he could eat from it for a week. In my country, they have factory. No make cheesecake in this factory, Mikey. Maybe, Mike, you don't go to that factory so much. Maybe your lady who does your expense report slit your throat. Maybe in my country, too, we don't get... Five appetizers for every meal. Maybe don't take Jay and Woods then. Because Jay and Woods sometimes get appetizer. And when Mikey come along, he never eat appetizer. Touché. I thought she said adult hose daddy. I did too. I was like, wow. Adult hose daddy. You guys didn't know that I was her adult hose daddy? I didn't know that. I was like, wow.
I thought you were just our hose daddy. What goes on behind closed doors? She is brilliant. It's hysterical. So funny. It's hysterical. She is so patient and so nice. She's good with those kids, man. Very nice. Gosh darn it. Those kids will wind you up, man. They will get some. Luke gets that cry on, man. Yeah. He will get that cry on. Guy wants out. Yeah. He wants out. He wants his own place. Yeah. You know how some kids babble? Yes. Luke whines. His bit is, instead of, you know, he babbles a little bit. But mostly he just likes to go, eh. Sounds like me. I bet it'll be a phase. I do that. Really? Yeah. I want some dinner. I'm telling you, that's what I said to Rebecca. You guys, Luke right now is the, he seems like the bad boy. Mm-hmm. Things could change and Ryan could sneak up on you real good. I've thought of that, but I'm like, I don't, really? Like, do you think? Is it possible? Because, I mean, Luke's personality is, I'll say it, he's a pisser. That guy is a pisser. He is. I mean, that guy is just.
Irritated. I think they all have peaks and valleys. Yeah. Luke, man, he's consistently angry. You know who you're not going to have to worry about is little sweet Jakey. Jakey's a sweetheart. He's the sweetest kid in the world. He's going through a little bit of his time right now, too. Oh, he's having a little time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what he did the other day, couldn't believe? What? Couldn't believe this. And I was like, what do I do? Because that's what will get you is when your kid does something that you're just not used to. Okay, bub, it's time for you to start your, you know, he's supposed to start his therapy or whatever. No, no, no. He was supposed to go eat dinner. He had to eat dinner. And Rebecca says, you know what it is? She goes, I'll tell you what wears me out. I'll tell you what just wears me out. She goes, I don't want to have a discussion and a debate about everything I ask. I want to be able to go, let's go to school. I want to be able to go, let's put on your shirt. I want to be able to go, let's eat breakfast. And I don't want that to be a process of,
Him not wanting to and, you know. And why? Why? Yeah. And so he's supposed to eat and he's not. And I'm like, all right, bub, come on, come on, come on. And he's not, he doesn't want to. So he's like, he's not being indignant. He's just dilly-dallying on the couch and not doing it. He doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to go. That's just kids. So I go, okay, bub, come on. So I go and I get him and I'm holding him up and he goes dead weight on me. I've gotten that. He goes, dead weight on me. Wow. And I go, in my head, I go, no freaking way. And I went, what do you do? What do you do? Jake doesn't do this. Jake doesn't do this. And so I go, I said to him, I go, what are you doing? And he just stayed dead weight. And I go, so I tried to kind of like the laundry bit, like maybe the shirt will stiffen up if I, you know.
And no, he just stayed there and let me waggle him. And luckily, Nita walked in, which gave me like, well, now I have to, you know, now I have to do something. I'm going to look like a total dweeb. Like, she's going to think I'm a dork if I've got a dead weight four-year-old in my hands. And she's going to think to herself, he doesn't know how to control a child. Any adult man can control a baby. This is a baby that you don't know how to control. And so I go, come on, Bob. No, that way. So I had to pick him up like a bride walking across the threshold. Walking across the threshold. And I'm thinking in my head, this is humiliating. Was he sniggling or was he laughing? No, he was like, listen, if you physically bring me. I'll go. Fine. But in terms of me cooperating, it's not going to happen. Yeah, I've done that to cops before. And I think his bit with me is it's like, well, what are you going to do? You know what, Mike, though? Be thankful it wasn't. Because I've gotten this before. I babysat for many, many years. Kicking and screaming and slapping. You get two things from me. You either get the, you know, if it's their plane, you get a tickle.
And if they're not playing, you get the swat on the butt. Yeah. It's like, woo. That's the deal. See, Jake is not, Jake is not the swat kid. You know, he doesn't require it. Right. And because he's not a kicker and a screamer. Luke will kick and scream. Wow. Yeah. So Luke will have a different form of discipline. Luke will have a different form of discipline. I will break that out of him. I have been. It's the truth. I'm going to have to break it out of him. Like a Bronco. Sorry. I was going to say, I've had three-year-olds beat me up before. I heard a joke from Chris Rock one time where he says, only white women let little kids slap them. Absolutely. They're not my kids. That's the thing. I'm not going to put my hand on other people's kids. That's true. I know. Dude, that is true. You don't ever see a black woman letting her kid go. Slap her. Shut up, mom. Right, right, right. Yeah. My friends' kids are scared of me. Because I don't put a hand on them, but as soon as I start talking stern, it's on. I'm scared of you. I'm a little scared of you. Yeah. He goes, you ever notice the women at the Starbucks? It's always the white women. And the kids be slapping them. And the white women go, that's all right. That's your feelings. You get your feelings out. Now, that ain't appropriate.
My mama take the back of her hand, man. Oh, no doubt. Dennis Leary said it best when it comes to raising kids. He said, you know, when I was a kid, my dad beat the crap out of me. And I'm looking forward to beating the crap out of my kids. Oh, my gosh. My mom would lean down when she'd have this, like, I'd be misbehaving in the store. She would lean down, and she'd real slowly, and she'd have a little smile on her face. And I thought, oh, this is good. Pinch the cheek of my, and I would, like. She's like, oh, that's okay, darling. Come on, let's go outside. Then I knew it was on if we made it outside. You're dead, man. What a good move, though, man. Was it a nipple pinch or a butt pinch? Butt. Cheek? Because you reach towards your nipple. He said cheek. Oh, I didn't hear him. But he goes like this. You didn't hear it, so you assumed she must have grabbed his nipple and just twisted his... Nipple twist. Purple nurple. A T-Twister. Pretty standard for your mom to just... Yeah, it's real standard for your mom to pinch your butt, too. Oh, yeah, it is. It works out real well. Was it your butt? Yeah, my butt. No, no. She went right to the butt cheek. She'd like reach around, big smile. Okay. So here's the deal.
My dad was disciplinarian. I'm going to be a disciplinarian. Now, it's not out of, like, anger. It's out of, like, got to teach your kid. My dad was not. He was a yeller. And then after a while, the yelling, you're like, really? You're yelling at me? You know? And then, like, we squared off a couple times, you know? And as a man gets older and he, you know, rejects his home and all that stuff, it's natural. But my mom tried to be the disciplinarian. We were like. She'd roll up the magazine or throw stuff at us, and my brother and I would just laugh. My mom tried to give me the belt one time, and I had to put my hands on the table, and I kept putting my foot up, and the belt would hit the bottom of my shoe. So you know what she did? What? She gave up. Yeah, they stopped. She gave up. Yeah. Then they give you the, well, your dad's going to be home for this trip today, and you're a dead man, so keep it up. That was the problem. See, I should have let her do it. Because I had to take it from dad when dad got home. That was brutal. And you know what? Dads are usually in a great mood when they get home. They get off work. Just working hard for too little money and got to come home. Daddy, daddy. Especially in Yuma, Arizona where it's nice and cool all the time. So you're just driving home, 120 degrees. It's a lot to do. Come into the house. You got that nice swamp cooler keeping one room cool. Swamp cooler.
That one room that you're not going to sleep in is nice and cool, but the rest of the house is about 145 degrees. Three boys running around. Three boys running around. Four boys running around like lunatics. Yeah. If I ever stood up to my dad, he would have just killed me and buried me in the backyard. Yeah. Dads, man? Mm-mm. Dads don't take anything, man. No way. I'm not going to either. Aren't I? Aren't you? Mm-hmm. You think I'm going to be a big pushover, don't you? Big softie. You think I'm going to be a big pushover, don't you? Five girls, yes. Done. Never be able to speak by the girl. Ever. No? No. Daddy's little girl, dude. Never. Real quick. My wife doesn't understand spanking. Was never spanked. Doesn't believe in it. Kind of is coming around to the idea of if, you know, because she had Luke. And you get challenged so much. Okay, I'll try anything. Well, I mean, she's into consistency, and I am too.
with the child. So if we pick for Luke that his deal is going to be that he gets spanked, and for Ryan, this, stay with it. But I remember us having conversations about spanking, and she was so unfamiliar with it that she was like, there is just no way that you can abuse violence on the kid. And I'm like, babe, what are you talking about? I'm not punching him in the eye. Yeah, and she's like, I just... I just think it's so weird that you would like pull a child's pants down and that you would be, and I go, what? And she goes, is that what you do? And I go, no. And she goes, well, I don't know. I don't know what, and I'm like, no. FM 94.9's eighth anniversary bash is November 13th. And The Night Marchers, The Hold Steady. It's going to be a really, really good show. Company of Thieves. Company of Thieves have just been added. And New Politics, 26 bucks to go. The Company of Thieves. The Company of Thieves is fun. Some peanuts in my throat. And it's going to be a good show. And I'm going to sing. Yeah, you are. I'm going to sing. Get out there, M1s. He needs you. Yeah.
I do. I can't wait. You won't have your boy at your side. I know it. Are you going to keep it a secret what song that you're doing? No, I don't have to. I can tell. Have you been practicing in your car? Uh-uh. You need to start. In the shower. Yeah, I know. You know, I know things are coming up and I don't do anything about it. Do you know the lyrics? Uh-uh. Not by heart. There are a lot of them. Really? Yeah. Oh, he'll be fine. Once you hear the music kick in. I'm going to sing Surrender. Play it. Do you have it? Yep. Cheap trick. Everybody just put me on the spot. Maybe you prepared. It's getting me so rad. Oh, I need film. Practice. Great. Love that song. Oh, I wish you were going to be there. Oh, I do.
Sienna, hopefully, and Jay are going to sing backup for you. Damn it. What if I get there and I'm prepared for this? I'm like, I thought we were doing Sweet Surrender by Sarah McLachlan. What the? Dude. Doesn't mean much. You might take a beating. Yeah. I told you to surrender, you moron. You idiot. Cheap Trick. That's Sarah McLachlan. What's the matter with you? Moron. I'm going to kill you. Meth head. Get out of here. You're drinking again, Mike? Yeah. I got the sauce. Holy cow. That song is so rad. It's going to be fun. It's so good. Surrender's a good song. How do you not like Cheap Trick? You think I'll be pointing my finger while I sing backup for you, Mike? That would be awesome. I can't wait.
This is one of the funnier things I've heard in a long, long time. Zach Galifianakis does something called Between Two Ferns. It's hysterical, okay? It's brilliant. He interviews people, and he interviewed Bruce Willis, and it was more than I bargained for. Hello, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns. My name is Zach Galifianakis, and my guest today is Bruce Willis, movie star and... Harmonicist. So, how many children do you have? Three. Three. Which is your favorite, Ashton? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's his ex-wife. That's his ex-wife's husband. Oh, my God. That's Demi Moore's husband, Ashton Kutcher. Wow. Who's your favorite? Ashton? Holy cow. Ouch. Do you get his tweets? Like, you call him and go, hey, I got your tweets. Pretty good tweeting today. Silence. When you were making the whole 10 yards, were you ever worried that it would be too good? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'll just keep moving. Did you know that some actors turn down roles?
Is he just silent the whole time? Yeah, staring him down. Did you know that some actors turn down roles? Holy cow. Oh, my gosh. Any plans to reboot the Grumpy Old Men franchise? It'll loosen up a little bit. Oh, my God. This is hard for me. I'm intimidated, and you don't seem to be answering the questions. Are we starting? We're not doing either of you now, right? No, no, no. We've been doing it. For about four minutes. What are you talking about, Willis? What are you talking about, Willis? You ever heard that before? It's a little easy, I gotta say. Look who's talking. The greatest. He's so... He's brilliant. He's so brilliant. I love that. And I don't mean that with an overusage of the word brilliant. He is brilliant. Yeah, he is. And Bruce Willis just playing along. It's good stuff. And, yeah.
I think it's cool of Bruce Willis being cool about it. So funny. Am I on the air? Yes. Hi, guys. Is this Sandra Rossi again? Yes, Sandra Rossi with two N's. You're back. Yeah, I am back. Your radio tour done? No, I'm just getting started. What can we do you for? I just did finish the East Coast. Five dollars. Five dollars? Yeah. You're donating to my... Run for governor, yes. Run for governor. Yes, correct. You buy a little change purse? No, I'm just going to give my money freely. Five whole dollars. That is very sweet. That's really, really sweet. Thanks. My name is Sandra Rossi, as Wood said, and it's Sandra with two N's. And I am a hardworking mother of eight. Seven. Seven is what you said last night. What are their names? John. Bill. Steve, Robin, Peter, Jan, and Greg. No more Rachel. No more Rhonda. Sounds like the Brady Bunch. It's not. You forgot about little Bobby. Bobby is our nickname for... You said Barbara last time. Barbara is actually our nickname for Peter. We call little Peter... She's making stuff up. No, we call little Peter Barbara. We call little Peter Barbara. We call little Peter Barbara. That's a pretty name, Barbara.
It's real. It's catchy. Like, if you could change your name from Sandra with two N's to any other name, what would you do it? It would death. Gotcha. But my name is Sandra Rossi. Sandra with two N's, by the way. And I'm running for governor of the state of California's write-in. And I just want to get the word out there that I am out there for you as a candidate. I think things are important. I also think that some things are bad. Okay. And wouldn't you like a governor that likes some things and then at the same time doesn't like some things? I think that's just kind of across the board with any person. I think any person or candidate, gubernatorial or not. You'd be surprised, Woods. You'd be surprised like you'd think that. Do you often run into people in your day-to-day life, I mean, Sandra, that like everything and don't?
Not like stuff? Does that make sense? Don't not like? I do. I actually do. I was at Walmart yesterday pressing the flesh. Okay. And I had my seven kids with me. And we were just meeting people. And I just couldn't believe as I talked to some people how sad it is that they think that some things that are bad are good. Right. And I was like, I'm going to change this. Yeah. I am going to change this. That's quite an undertaking. Starts with you. If I'm elected governor, I promise to like plenty of things that you like. What kind of publications do you read to keep up on politics? I read most of the big ones. Do you have one in particular? Time. Time? Time magazine. I read it cover to cover every week. That's a good one. What's going on this week? The things that are important. Like those gentlemen in the Venezuelan mine. Chile. Chile, yeah. What did I say? Venezuelan. Yeah, I meant that. That's what I meant to say. I'm sure you did. I said Venezuelan? Yeah. Color me embarrassed. That was so not correct. Well, so what's the deal? So on your website, I'm going to find things like the sort of things that you like that you don't like. Well, and I'm glad that you said that. I'm glad that you said that, L-O-B.
because it isn't just the things that I like. It's the things that you like. You see, that's why I'm running for a write-in vote because I like what you like. I doubt that. No, I do. Okay, all right. Well, you did say you like passports. I like those too. Clothing, clean clothing. Very pro clean clothing. Clean water. I believe in that. I believe in clean water. I believe in rabbits, bunny rabbits. I believe in... What does it have to do with the... with governing the state of California? There are, I think, issues that people are all in on. It may be neglected issues, LLB, that maybe the main candidates aren't really focusing on because they're worried about fiscal and fiduciary responsibility and they're worried about human rights and things she's worrying about. I'm against bad human rights. That's great. I think we all are. I'm against shoplifting in general and I'm against robbery and identity theft. How do you plan to stop those things? I will do my best to, if elected, stop them. By means of? Force, if need be. Any means necessary. Any means necessary. I don't think you're going to get that approved. Malcolm X. That's right, Woods. Now, I'd like to steer people towards my website, if I could. Of course. It's Sandra Rossi Handbags, two ends, dot com. Sandra Rossi Handbags, with two ends, dot com.
and that's where you can read what I'm for and against. And there are also the finest materials available for handbags in North America. There's like a frog-shaped one that I really had my eye on, but it appears to be sold out. That one is really special. It's called the Kermit, and it's available. It will be available. It's not available. There's one that looks like a pair of boobs, and I'm not kidding. You know, if you look at them closer, Woods, they look like testicles. Okay. Well, that's a creep, isn't it? What do you call that purse? The one that looks like testicles? A set of something. We call that one the bongs. Now, let's get away from the handbags and back to the issues at hand. Yes, at SandraRossiHandbags.com. Why not Sandra Rossi for governor or something like that? Well, if you go to the website, you'll see that it says that.
Right, on the top there's like a small blurb, but most of the website is about the finest materials for handbags in North America. There's like a raccoon skin one. What's up with that? That's chinchilla. I'm against that. You're against what? Chinchilla fur in general. Oh, I am too. That's why we use the finest in faux fur. It doesn't look faux. I'm against fur too. No, but it's cruel. You're saying that you're going to be for things that we like, and we don't like that. Oh, well, then it's fake fur. You can't just lie. It says right there, real fur. You seem to bend the truth. No, it doesn't. You bend the truth a lot, Sandra. Like a true politician. Yeah, a true politician. So you're really par for the course. We can hear you. I can hear you. Who's Phil? Is Barbara there? This is not Barbara. Can I help you? What's going on back there?
I was talking to my webmaster, Phil. Why? What? Hello? We can hear you. Phil McCracken? Oh, that's very, very funny. I'm against that, by the way. Against what? Making up funny names? I'm against making double entendre names. Like IP Freely? Yes. See more butts? Yes. What about Amanda Hug and Kiss? That one I'm okay with. Mine are all too dirty. Mine too. Can you turn the... that gentleman's microphone. No, we can't. Anyway, so if you'd like to know more about me and what I stand for and believe in, then I urge you to go to SandraRossiHandbags.com with two N's, Sandra. You don't care if people buy, you're not really, it's not about buying any handbags, right? It's not about the handbags. Even though that takes up the majority of your website. It's all about the purses. It's not about, it's not about the handbags, but. I'm sorry.
It's about the purses. It's not all about the purses. I think we got that joke the first time. It's about the purses. It should be about... What it should be about is the race for governor. It is about the race for governor. But it's also about the purses. But it seems like it's not at all about the race for governor. I guess sometimes you compromise, LLB. Sometimes you can be about the purses and then you can have other stuff. Yeah, I guess so. You know what I mean? But I really would like to see more about the purses. Well... I mean the governor. It's about me running for governor, but if you're at the website and you want to take a look at what we call the Molly Price, it's available right now, or it might be sold out, but you can always put it on order. They're all sold out, which is weird. It's item number 754748, and it retails for $39. Oh, you should really, now you're just plugging yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was just mentioning it. We should get this girl off the line. I was just mentioning it. We should get you off the line. We also have the champagne dream item number 545723, which is retailing right now for $28. That's not bad. It's like an infomercial. Sold out. Don't encourage her, Woods. No, no, no, no. That's not what I called to talk about. Sandra Rossi.com with two N's in Sandra. Sandra Rossi handbags, I thought you said. Sandra Rossi handbags.com. For real, y'all. Oh, wow. She gets off the line quick. She's abusing your platform a little bit. I think they all do, though, don't they? Don't they?
I mean, they all have some sort of hidden agenda. This is a little more blatant. That one is. Definitely. I really appreciate her honesty. Yeah. You would. Yeah. Play band. It's nice to see honest people. Want to hear Slash bang out the national anthem at the Kings game in L.A.? Me too. Singing? No. Oh, jamming? Yeah. It's pretty awesome. Play it nice. Paging M1 Adam. Paging M1 Adam. He wants to talk. Woodsy got an email today from M1Adam. I think it's M1Adam. His name's Adam. Adam. And anyway, he said that he wanted to get through and he wanted to tell us something, so we can. I told him, you know, tell him to call in. 5701949 is our number. Slash playing the national anthem at the L.A. Kings game. I love that. It's pretty awesome.
M1 Adam is on the line. Yeah, he got through. From Linda Vista. He got through. You were able to get through, Adam. M1 Trout. Now, M1 Trout, you know, we have a phone screener. It's grouse. Yeah, it's grouse. It's grouse. And, you know, he is a very good phone screener. And so he does not let every, you know, it's in the name. You know, you've got a screen. You know, you can't, it's not, it's not a phone allower. It's a phone screener, you know, and so he's, you know, he does a good job. So, you know, what is it that you have called and said that you have not been let through? Well, I had a separation with my wife. I just try to call in on as often as I can. It's probably been like 16 times I've called in and just always get pushed to the side. Well, listen, I mean, in defense to Chris, Cross, he is got to screen some stuff out. You know, he. Doing a good job. And so if you were to call in and you said, hey, man, I want to talk to Mikey. I just got separated with my wife. But we're talking about, you know, I don't know what. The Chargers. The Chargers. You know, he can't let you through. I mean, that's his job. He knows to do that. So that's, you know, in fairness to Chris. That's why.
He has not allowed you through. And we quick hit stuff. We don't spend a lot of time on a lot of topics. Sometimes we do, but most of the time we like to move on. Absolutely. So Adam, Trout, what would you like to talk with us about? I've been trying to get a backstage pass for a number of weeks now. Okay. Yeah, and so here's the deal, and for all the M1s listening, here's the deal with the backstage pass. I was doing it. Me being Woods. And what I was doing was really doing things against what I was supposed to do. Weird. The way we had originally set it up was through a website. And you could go, you sign up, and then you're automatically picked. Right. Well, I was getting a lot of requests. And you guys know me. I like to try to accommodate everybody. Yeah. And it was... To a fault. To a fault. I mean, truly. I mean, it was that part of my job here. was kicking my butt it really was and i was stressed about it five days a week and i always you know tried to get everybody that i could in and it wasn't working out for me because i when sienna left i took on you know a lot of her job responsibilities too so i was like i'm buried i told jay i'm buried and he goes well i'll do it and we'll do it through the website so we've been doing it through the website again so i apologize to anybody that i let down out there yeah and trot we love you you know uh you just go through the website and you fell out the form and
There's a lot you got what you got to remember. There's a lot of people filling out that form. Yeah, there's thousands of entries in there. And it basically randomly selects. And we bring about, you know, 15 to 20 people in each week. And then it only lets you sign up every six months. And we want you here. Believe me. You know, it's crazy. The amount of emails I was getting a week. And, you know, I'd also get the special requests like, hey, man, it's my birthday. You know, and I literally for about six months. Longer than that, about eight months, seven months, tried to accommodate every single person that had a special request or it was their daughter's birthday or they wanted to meet Mikey in person. It'd be a full-time job. I almost put my wife on it. I bought a full calendar, like a desk calendar, and I would write down names of people. It was taking up like four hours a day. And then people call in and want to switch. Like, oh, I can't get that day off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just be patient, Trout. We'll get you here, man. Yeah, we'll get you there. Keep on it. Okay. Keep on keeping on, brother. I thank guys for all you do. Thank you. You got it. Thank you, man. We'll see you. So, yeah, that's good because I wanted to give some clarification on that anyway because I have still been getting a lot of emails and, you know, my bit now is I just send them all to Jerry. Yep. And I go, there are no hookups. He screams at me. He yells at me.
So Perez Hilton says he's changing his website. So when you asked to be here, I got to say a lot of people have said it's not a good idea and advised me against it and said, why would you want to do that? I believe in giving people second chances. And you said you want to change. And a lot of people don't believe you. But if you say you want to change and you want to, I think it takes a big person to look at themselves and say, I've done wrong and I want to change. So I want to listen to what you have to say. Yeah. You know, over the last week and a half, two weeks, I've been doing everything I can to bring awareness to the issue of the teen suicides and gay. bullying and in doing so a lot of people have called me a hypocrite and a bully myself and a big one and that's not how I want to be perceived and that's not what I want to put out there into the world and it was a big wake-up call that so many people saw me that way so you know from now on I really want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem I want to be the change that I want to see in others so I'm going to do things differently on my website than I have.
in the past i'm not gonna call people nasty nicknames i'm not gonna go the the mean route i'm gonna force myself to try and be funnier or smarter or just do things differently not doodle inappropriate things not not out people that's good yeah i mean it's good yeah if he's serious i listened to my wife played me his youtube video yesterday and you know at first my attitude was well if you delete your website That's one thing. You know, that's pretty impressive. But then he'll be unemployed. He'll cease to exist. Will he? Well, that's what made him funny. I mean, he was not being, I mean, it's supposed to be funny. Well, he's pretty nasty, dude. I mean, he draws, dude, he draws some nasty stuff on those pages. I mean, like, nasty stuff. He accuses people of being drug addicts and gays and lesbians and, you know, whatever.
nasty nicknames and and you know i mean i guess if he does it differently you know i guess it remains to be seen but i'd be all all about that there's another site out there that's like it's pink is the new blog yeah and it's just reports on it and he gives like a little bit of his like oh i think she's kind of a mess or whatever but it's not mean so i bet he'll kind of take that that route well i'm looking at his website right now and the first headline surprised me just the way that it's written. It's a Brett Favre deal and it says two more women come forward with Brett Favre sexed messages. Nice. Okay, so that's not, you know, he's not doing anything. That's what it would say on ESPN. Sure. But then you go down a couple of stories and you get to Lisa Rena showing off her new lips and it points to her lips and it says deflated. It's true. Same bit. She got a reduction though. Then the next one, I don't even know what it is. It's just somebody named Bethany. Bethany Frankel, and it says Beth... Oh, the chick that has... She was on one of those Real Housewives shows. Okay. It says Bethany versus her mama, and it's got an arrow pointed to her, and it says liar, question mark, exclamation point, underline. That's a really heavy leaf to turn over, Mike. Well, maybe if you read more into the story, it comes out that she lied. I'm just trying to give that guy the benefit of the doubt.
Lisa Rinna or whatever her name is really did have a lip reduction. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know that. Deflated. Yeah. Okay. He's still trying to be funny. I mean, you put a picture of me up there with an arrow that said fat, but that doesn't mean not. That's not cool. No, but she was openly getting. So if you got like the little chin thing that you wanted to get done and it was like trimmed with an arrow, would you be like, thanks a lot, pal? No, but what if it said deflated? That's a little different. But deflated. She got them inflated, so it's the opposite of what she did in the first place. Yeah, I know, but to say that she got them inflated isn't that kind of, you know... If you did that and somebody walked up to you that had never met you before at a meet and greet and said, did you get your lips inflated? No, but he... You'd be like... But he's being funny. You're like, I got collagen in my lips. I had thin lips. She also has a reality show and came out and was like, guess what? I'm getting my lips reduced. Yeah, but she did. Hey, listen, if she's using a terminology, you know, okay, she uses it, you know. But my point with Perez Hilton is I've never dug it because I've always thought it's cruel. His bit has always been.
Well, I was treated poorly and I was made fun of and this is my chance to get back, which to me is counterintuitive, doesn't make sense and is cruel. You know, I've just I've never understood it. And if it were a member of my family, it would really hurt me. And if it were me, it would really hurt me. Yeah, dude. And so I've never understood it, especially when he's familiar with that kind of pain. You know, he's been through it. That's why I really. With the deflated thing, I don't think he's being like these really mean, biting remarks. Yeah, I mean, certainly not like it used to be. That's for sure. And we'll see. We'll see how it shapes out over the next couple months and what it looks like. Yeah, and we'll see if it's.
Here's going to be the test for him. Am I getting as many web hits? Like, what if the web hits are down? Well, he said, and I had the article about Perez, and he said, hey, if the traffic goes down, fine by me. But is it? Is it? Is it? Well, we'll see. We'll see. It's one of those, got to wait and see. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, I'll tell you that, pal. So this is what I'm asking myself. I'm hearing this audio, and I'm like, man, did Meg Whitman use the fact that Jerry Brown was, His camp was overheard calling her a whore. Did she use this fact in such a masterful way at their debate the other night that it's over and that he's done? Wow. And then when I play you how he responded and made it worse, oh boy. I gotta hear it. It's next. This band will be playing live in our studio Friday, November 12th. This is Cutlass.
And they're actually doing a benefit concert that I'm going to be hosting. And it's going to be really, really good. If you want to get tickets for it, go to OutsideTheBowl.org. Outside the Bowl is the organization that I'm going to be going with to Haiti. And so every ticket that is purchased will help for a soup kitchen to feed kids. Right now, Outside the Bowl is feeding a million. meals to kids a year. Fantastic. It's a massive thing. Let's see. Are you going to go to the doctor for that LLB? The itching? Yeah. She's like ripping her skin off. You are itching like crazy. No. He's just going to tell you that you're probably just need to go to a dermatologist. I... You're a doctor. What's that? You have a regular doctor, right?
And yeah, he'll probably tell you that. She'll probably tell me. Have you changed shampoos or soap or something lately? Did you hear that, by the way, Jay? No, what was it? I said, he'll tell you. She'll. And she said, she'll tell you. What? It's a girl doctor, so. Oh, boy. What? Of course. Of course. Of course it is. Of course it is. You think LLB's going to go to a male? What? I used to have a male. Well, it was short-lived. But, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have a dermatologist. I'm going to have to get one. Oh, boy. I thought we were going to make it. We've got eight minutes left. What up? CBK. Hi, CBK. She thought that it was a male doctor because only men can be doctors, right, Woods? A woman can never be a doctor. A woman can never be a doctor. Yes, you are right. You know what? Do you know that women can actually vote in this country now, too? Oh, boy. Of course they can. That's not what I meant. They can be in the workforce. They can... You know what? They can even be Secretary of State. They can be whatever they want to be. Except a professional football player. Except probably that. Why does he get so mad at me? If there's an exceptionally athletic and maybe large woman, she could be...
A football player. Possibly. So far it hasn't happened. It's never happened. You mean you want to overweight people? No, except in large, like, stocked. You have to be a big... You're making fun of overweight people. No, I'm not. You can't be scrawny and play in the NFL. I just saw a special on Discovery House about people that are morbidly obese and you have no idea. Have you ever seen a morbidly obese NFL player? No, I haven't. Well, then I'm not talking about that. But you were saying it. God, at least he's off me and on you. I said exceptionally large. Is that all you guys do? Is just sit there and blather on? We pretty much do for four hours. Do you guys have a song? No. We play bumper music. We play bumper music. You don't ever do like Black Flag. No, don't play Black Flag. Black Flag. We will at 10 o'clock. At 10 o'clock, you tune in to Hillary, she'll treat you real sweetly. She will. I am going to write a letter. To Mr. Rick R. Jackson. Don't mock me. Sorry. To Mr. Rick R. Jackson. You're mocking me. Rick R. Jackson. I hate when you do that. You love it. Let the man finish. Never. I'm never going to listen to you again. This is the last. Yay! Oh, really?
I'm never listening to this show. I didn't mean that. I want you to listen. I don't. Are you going to come? I don't. Are you going to come to our next meet and greet? Why would I come to a greet and meet for people that I don't like? You have fans. If you were Jagger and Chrissy, yes. If you were Jeff and Jer, yes. We would make crafts together sweetly. If you were AJ's Funhouse, yes. Funhouse. I do a podcast. Just like you do to us. Just like you do with us. I do not podcast. Yes, you do. I saw your name subscribed on the list. Yeah. CaptainBuzzKill072 at Yahoo.com. Don't give out my... You can't do that. You better hit the dump. Is that all you talk about? Oh, let's take a dump. I said hit the dump. The dump button. It's a dump button. It means... Why don't you lighten up? He can't stand us. He didn't even care. You can't let a radio show control your day. Good Lord. Gosh, that guy gets upset. I guarantee he's at his computer right now being like...
Please email me. Somebody email me. Oh, creep. Oily skin creep. Are you ready to hear this? Yes. So Tom Brokaw asks Jerry Brown in the gubernatorial debate. You guys love that word. Such a great word. Love that word. The gubernatorial. Do you have a hard time with that one, LLB? It's terrible. You know that I can't say it. Try it. I'd mess it up. Try it. Gubernatorial. Not bad. Woods has said it like 18 times. Wait, wait, wait. I do. I love it. Gubernatorial. Not the governatorial. Gubernatorial. Gubernatorial. Gubernatorial. So Jerry Brown, his camp was caught calling Meg Whitman a whore. A whore. Funny. All right, so take a listen.
Have you been in charge of the investigation of your campaign to find out who was responsible for using that phrase? I don't agree with that comparison, number one. Number two, this is a five-week-old private conversation picked up on a cell phone with a garbled transmission. It was a five... Okay, so let's walk through the logic here. Yes, we called her a whore. But it was five weeks ago. Hey, if it was yesterday, I get it. I get it. I get it. It was not one, not two, not three weeks ago. Five weeks ago. What about four? Was it four weeks ago? No. It was five. It was five weeks ago that she was called a whore by my account. Secondly, it was on a garbled cell phone. Not a clear cell phone. No. Which I would understand. Must have been on an iPhone. If it was clear, I'd understand people being upset.
But it was garbled. Very hard to detect who it is. This is not... Well, I don't want to get into the term and how it's used, but I will say the campaign apologized promptly, and I affirm that apology tonight. Now... I apologize right away. What's the problem? I didn't wait. Now, Meg Whitman plays him like a violin. I think every Californian, and especially women, know exactly what's going on here. And that is a deeply offensive term to women. Can I just interject? Oh, boy. I mean, really? Where do you go? Where can you go? It's over. It's over. You're done. It's over. You're done. At that point, you go, yeah, you're right. See you guys tomorrow. Take it to the house. Just hold our arm up. And the winner. And the winner is. And the winner is. So Jerry Brown decides. I'll make it better. Have you chastised your chairman, Pete Wilson, who called the Congress whores to the public sector unions? Oh, boy. Dead air. Yeah, Jerry, that makes it better. Yeah. It's okay, then. He did it. Eddie Murphy said it in Beverly Hills Cop. Did you say anything to Eddie? Did you say anything to him? He's from California. Yeah. He did it first. He sounds juvenile.
It sounds really juvenile. Let me ask you a question, Meg. She's just schnockered. Let me ask you a question, Meg. Okay? You ever call anybody a whore? Exactly. Exactly. That was a pretty tense debate. I watched some of it, some of the highlights or lowlights, should I say. Yeah. It was pretty crazy. Surprisingly, I did not. I got a question for you. Is anybody in your camp a whore? Exactly. Okay? Okay? Anybody in your camp ever call me a whore? Yeah. See about that one? You probably did. You did? Falls over. A pint of Jack rolls out of his pockets. I'll tell you something. A guy in college, he called my mother a whore. Okay? So I know. I know what it feels like. I've been there. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. T-shirt. Hey, let me ask you a question. Were you ever in college? Right.
Do you have a sophomore year? So did I. Exactly. Me and you. We're speaking the same language. I'm a whore, okay? I'll say it right now. I'll say it right now. My sophomore year in college, I experimented. Okay? There. Fine. We said it. And I won't... Okay, I will. His name was Ron Peterson. Fine. One time. Three times. Okay, it's like a week- Nine times. Like a week-long love affair. And we were in love, but it was weird because we weren't. It was more like the last. So, anyway, I'm sorry. What did you say, anyway? Okay, well, that deteriorated nothing. Hi, Hill. Hi. How you doing? I'm doing great. How are you guys? We're good. We're doing good. We didn't even get to Justin Bieber rapping, so that'll have to wait. Oh, good. I'm actually really thankful he didn't get it. That'll have to wait, huh? We didn't get to the situation. Blather. So all of that will just have to wait. What do you got coming up, Belle? I grabbed recommended new music from Pete Yorn. Oh, it's so good. And some Peter Tosh. Nice. Any cat crack?
Tool, yes. Cat Crack is going to be my first song. MGMT. Yeah, good stuff. There you go. No, don't do it. Do it. Don't do it. Do it. Do not do it. If we're friends, you won't do it. I'll tell everybody what you don't want me to tell them. You better not do it. You better, Mikey. His finger is like two millimeters. You better not do it. Oh. Dang it. I got a real good bribe to hang over your head from now on. I already talked about it. I got you, Cal. And I got you real good. I already talked about it. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. No, you didn't. Talked about it with Hillary the last time she was on. On air? Yeah. Yesterday. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. I didn't. I'm going to. I was going to say. Good day. Good luck. Take an ibuprofen, Mikey, before you go. Mikey's going to be back tomorrow morning at 6.