The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/15/10
Friday, October 15, 2010
Friday October 15, 2010
Oh that Captain Buzzkill! So angry, so miserable, so needing to get a girlfriend that doesn’t require an air pump to inflate! Are Woods’ recaps funny anymore? Yeah, maybe you try having 9 jobs, Mockey! Mikey reads about Woods loving to double up on rock concerts and The Kid squirms as he reads it. These days LOB is more interesting with her recaps and reenacts with Mikey her conversation with a service rep from New Delhi. WoS has a nervous Woodsy hours before the Yankees start the ALCS. Bill O’Reilly gets the cackles raised on two of the screeching hens on The View who walk out and Sanndra (sic) Rossi calls in to duck all important questions. Parts guys stare at on girls the most gets Woods championing fake boobs. Why does LOB have a glow about her today? Both Jay and Woods like checking out the size of a woman’s “group”. Several minutes are spent laughing at Mikey’s waxed eyebrows. Even the “old Mikey” would not have been a creepy sexter, but Jay’s so old he could have been a Morse code creeper and then a beeper creeper before cell phones! Eskimo Bluewaters comes by after sleeping in the station’s parking garage all night and showering in “the creek”. EBW has always been a Jack (Jacktress? Jackette?) of all trades and now she’s in the organic ice cream business! Listen to the podcasts if you missed EBW’s new flavor of ice cream that goes great with Doritos and hear her catchy sales jingle! Radio Charades gets syllabic before it gets easier for Mikey. Who was your worst boss and why? The cast ponders what fictional characters they would want in their lives. M1 Meatfreak glues hair from his head to his chin and Tom Tom Tunes is delayed to find out why mistake-prone call screener Chris hasn’t eaten in 5 days. Tom Tom Girl doesn’t like having to repeat herself to a dense caller who’s clueless about the Midnight Toker. The whacky career of Michael Shannon is revisited and Jay was known as JC Daily! Go on M. Knight Shannon, hit that post like Woods hits a fastball! (Bad comparison?) Obama’s MTV appearance has his disgruntled handlers feeding him hilarious lyrics in his earpiece. M1 Podcast calls in, still stuck in the past. Maybe he needs some Cat Crack to catch up? One of the Chilean miners was ready to dive back down into the cave when his wife and mistress were there to greet him coming out. Sabrina had a rough night and Studio M turns into a rave. Wondering who the guy is that does the voice for fire alarm and emergency announcements in buildings leads to audaciously funny auditions from Tom Tom Girl, Dave Matthews, Susanna, Wolfgang, Neil Diamond, EBW, Sanndra Rossi, and CBK!
Bumper Music
| 1. Like a Stone by Audioslave |  |
| 2. Let Forever Be by The Chemical Brothers | |
| 3. Love The Way You Lie by Eminem | |
| 4. Again by Lenny Kravitz | |
| 5. Surrender by Cheap Trick | |
| 6. Stacked Actors by Foo Fighters | |
| 7. Breaking The Girl by Red Hot Chili Peppers | |
| 8. Dam That River by Alice In Chains | |
| 9. Guns & Roses by Jay-Z | |
| 10. Good Morning Beautiful by Deftones | |
| 11. Kashmir by Led Zeppelin | |
| 12. Bloodbuzz Ohio by The National | |
| 13. Stan by Eminem | |
| 14. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley | |
Vincent Jackson contract disputeTransgender golfer LPGA lawsuitNFL labor lockout discussionWolf Blitzer vs Barbara Boxer tax‑cut interviewTraits men notice in womenMeat Freak superfan segmentMikey’s personal abuse and faith testimonyEskimo Blue Waters avocado ice cream stuntRadio charades gameMaster cleanse dietChilean miner mistress storySeaWorld ticket giveaway
The show opened with Mikey introducing the word of the day and prizes, then featured discussions on Vincent Jackson's contract situation with Woodsy, a debate about transgender golfer Lana Lawless suing the LPGA, and a spirited exchange where Wolf Blitzer challenged Barbara Boxer over tax‑cut claims. The hosts also ran a list of traits men notice in women, interviewed superfan Meat Freak, and closed with Mikey’s personal testimony about childhood abuse and his faith journey. Throughout, bits like Eskimo Blue Waters’ avocado ice cream stunt and radio charades calls added comic relief.
What happened, in order
Vincent Jackson contract confusion
The hosts break down the mistaken advice that let Vincent Jackson think holding out would make him an unrestricted free agent, when in fact he must sign and play to lose the team’s rights.
NFL lockout fears
Woodsy and Mikey discuss the looming NFL labor battle, the billionaires‑vs‑millionaires standoff, the proposal to add two games, and the possible impact of a work stoppage.
Eskimo Blue Waters arrives
Mikey introduces Judy Douche, who performs as Eskimo Blue Waters—a singer, magician, ventriloquist, yodeler and palm‑reeder currently sleeping in the parking garage.
Transgender golfer sues LPGA
Lana Lawless, a former police officer who transitioned, explains her lawsuit against the LPGA for requiring competitors to be female at birth.
Wolf Blitzer grills Barbara Boxer
Wolf Blitzer presses Barbara Boxer on her claim of supporting $2 trillion in tax cuts during the stimulus, highlighting the discrepancy between her words and the actual figures.
What guys notice about women
The crew runs through a list of traits men allegedly notice—from eye focus and fake lashes to a woman’s glow, hip‑to‑waist ratio, voice pitch, group size, smile authenticity, and hair thickness.
Meat Freak superfan
A caller named Meat Freak describes shaving his head, making a goatee from his hair, wearing a Man vs. Wild shirt, and his dedication to the Mikey Show.
Mikey shares abuse testimony
Mikey reveals he was a victim of sexual abuse at age five, struggled with addiction and self‑image, and found redemption through faith in Jesus Christ.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyElla BJayChrisVincent JacksonLana LawlessJudy DoucheBarbara BoxerWolf BlitzerC.C. SabathiaC.J. WilsonRon WashingtonJoe Girardi
28,064 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome to the program. It is the Mikey Show with a lot. Welcome to the program. Very nice to have you here. We got a full show for you today. And we want to hear from you. 570-194-9 or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Full studio audience in here and catered breakfast coming in just a little bit. Don't know if we mentioned this enough for you. So if you want to know, go to mikeyshow.com and. Put your name in the hopper to be able to come in here on a Friday and hang out, be a part of the Mikey Show backstage pass. Love to have you do that. Word of the day today is intrusion. Word of the day is intrusion. So I will weave that word into a sentence between now and 10 o'clock. When you hear it, caller 9 will win a really cool prize pack.
So get ready for it. SeaWorld 4-Pack. SeaWorld 4-Pack. Worth $236, which is nice. It's a high value. Let's see. Big stuff to talk about today. And we're going to be hitting on a lot of stuff really fast. We're going to talk about Vincent Jackson. We're going to talk about why this transgender golfer is suing. We'll tell you all about that. And we got to talk about this money that CBS is having to pay out. CBS having to pay out a lot of money. And your phone calls. So give us a call right now. I'm Mikey. The guy across from me anticipating a big Yankee game tonight is Woodsy. It's a wreck. A wreck. Yeah, I want to talk about that. Not you being a wreck, but about the game. Oh, me too. Talk about it for four hours. L.O.B. Did I play yesterday? No. Tonight's the first game. Ella B is our assistant producer, and she's a comic. She is 29 years of age, and Jay is our producer. He's in the other room. We look at him through glass, and he's to my left. And to my right through glass is our phone screener, Chris. That's Chris. That's Chris. That's Chris. You can talk to Chris if you call right now, 570-1949. Yo soy Chris.
No. Su es. Su eres. Su eres. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. Su es. And, you know, from my standpoint, I'm guessing, trying to figure out the whole Vincent Jackson thing, because they say that Vincent Jackson has to report back to the Chargers, right? Correct. Here's basically what happened in a nutshell. The union, the NFL Players Union, had told Vincent's agents that, hey, listen, if he sits out and holds out, it's going to be okay, because he's still going to be unrestricted after this season if he sits out the whole... 2010 season so he'd be an unrestricted free agent can sign anywhere yeah apparently that's not the case yeah okay so he got some bad information now in order to become unrestricted next year he has to go ahead and sign and play with a team he really doesn't want to be there with and really at this point I think it's fair to say
Really don't want him either. I mean, had they wanted him so much, they would have signed him. They would have given him what he needed. So he is going to report. They're saying allegedly before Halloween, the day before Halloween, he has to report by. And then it says he has to be on the roster for six games. But he also has to sit out three games after reporting and signing. Yeah, as a punishment. Do the math. They've had their bye week, right? No, Week 10. Week 10 is their bye week. 16 games in a year. They're 2-3. So he comes back in two weeks, roughly. He's got to sit out three. I mean, it's going to be right there. He's going to have his six games. He plays for the Chargers. Who knows how he'll do or what he'll do. After the season's over, he will be an unrestricted free agent. And probably won't be here next year, if I had to guess. Will we have a team next year? Yeah, that's the deal. One of the things that I know is going to be strongly contested by the players and the players' union is exactly what Woods just said right now. See, the deal is that if you are in your final year of your contract and you are an unrestricted free agent, you have to play in at least so many games.
If you don't, the team holds your rights. Right. He don't want the team to hold his rights. No. And so he'll suit up for the very purpose of being let go. And the problem is, too, what the Chargers are asking for him. So if it's an NFC team that wants him, they want a second and a third round pick. If it's an AFC team that wants him, they want a first and a second. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, does he garner that? Don't know. After the trouble he's been in, not having played. A first and a second. First and a second if he goes to an AFC team. Are they allowed to just set that at whatever they want? Are they allowed to go, we want 16 first round draft picks? Pretty much. I mean, you know, they don't have to bite and they don't have to trade them. Weird. NFL's weird. It is weird. You know, and it's, there may not be football next year. The more and more it goes, you know, with the, there's a, they're trying to get a new bargaining agreement. They want to add two extra games to schedule. Players don't want that. These two are at an impasse. And it's the billionaires versus the millionaires. And we'll see who wins. I mean, the billionaires can obviously hold out a little bit longer, but they don't want that. The last thing you want in your sport is a frigging lockout. When they did it in baseball a few years ago, I'll never forget it, man. The Yankees were on a roll, looked like the best team they had in years, and then just stops. And then I'm like, oh, boy, no more baseball. Then it takes.
Five, ten years. It literally took the steroid era to bring baseball back. And that's the weird thing. At 7.30 this morning, Eskimo Blue Waters will be coming into the studio. And she is going to be bringing her new brand of ice cream. Can't wait. I love ice cream. So here's what we know of Eskimo Blue Waters. She's a singer, right? She's a magician. A ventriloquist. A palm reader. Palm reader. Yodeler. Yodeler. None of these have worked out for Eskimo Blue Waters. No. She's still trying. Her name is actually Judy Douche. Judy Douche, but you guys always say Judy Douche. Yeah, why wouldn't we? Well, it's spelled D-O-U-C-H-E. Douche. With an accent mark over the E. That is true. Fake accent. Yeah.
She hand writes it in. She hand writes it in and everything. True. She is also, one other thing that we do know about her is that she is currently asleep in the parking garage right now. Yeah. Waiting it out. Yep. Yeah. I saw her on the way in and I creeped past like a cat burglar. The Mustang outfit. So as not to wake her and get, you know, hey Woods, won't you let me in? I'll get some coffee. I haven't showered in days. You wake the dragon. Yeah. Literally. So she'll be coming up at 7.30. We'll get to talk to her. What's the deal with the LPGA and the lawsuit and all this stuff? I've been wanting to get your guys' take on this. Oh, boy. All right. Lana Lawless, who is a former police officer, underwent a sex change operation five years ago and wants to now, it was a dude, and it is now a woman. It. Yeah. It's not it. Shem. It's a guy. Shem. It's a guy. Okay. Was a woman, now a guy? A guy that got his pee-pee cut off and has a... Is now a girl. Has a Vivi. And, you know, it's like, really? Yeah. So she's like, shh. They're like, I want to play on the LPGA. And the people in the LPGA are like, you can't play on the LPGA, you're a dude. And they said in the LPGA's bylaws, it says you have to be female at birth.
It does not. It does. No way. Right here. The LPGA's female at birth requirement for competitors violates a California civil rights law. Does it? Dude, I'm shocked that that was like, who had the foresight to be like, hey, listen, we're writing up our rules and regulations right now. I think it would probably be prudent for us to make sure that we put female at birth. Well, there's probably. When was the LPGA started? Probably way after the regular PGA. Probably. So there's probably already... Precedent? Maybe transsexuals, transgenders. I don't know. Anyone could put on a wig and get a boob job and be like, I'm a lady. Yeah, so she also... Yeah, right? She's suing the LPGA sponsors. She's suing the Long Drivers of America, who holds the annual Women's Long Drive Golf Championship. You can't just make up names. I'm not. She won the event in 2008. Here's her quote. I am, in all respects, legally and physically female. Are you? The state of California... Did she not get her... Doesn't matter. She got her long driver removed.
Then she's a girl. She's not a girl. She's got testosterone and male bits. In her eyes, she is a woman. Well, I thought they removed it. They don't suck your testosterone out. No, I think they do. It's something called estrogen. Well, yeah, they pump that in you and lower the levels. So question. Yeah. No, never mind. That's dirty. Anyway. Anyway. So you think, hey, no problem. She should go play on the LPGA? Well. It doesn't matter what I think of it. But I want to know. The bottom line is, is that if she's a woman, how do you deny her? Well, I guess there's a law. There's a law. It says, yeah, you must be female at birth. And she's like, you know what? That violates my civil rights. Yeah. Does it? Yeah. Well, I mean, it does if she's a woman. If she's technically. How do you prove somebody's a woman? I think that's just like. By what they were when they were born, maybe? Her birth certificate says she's a male or a female at birth.
But like that show, American Idol, America's Next Top Model, there's an age limit. I mean, technically that could be violating someone's civil rights. I knew it. I knew it. I knew this would get you worked up. I saw it on the call screen. What's up? What? I'm just reporting a story. Are you? Yes, I am. Are you thinking about becoming a transgender? No, I'm not. Joining the LPGA? No, I'm not. I bet you're a huge LPGA fan anyway. Oh, yeah, totally. I think it's really rude. It was a man, by the way. I think she's a woman, no. I think she's a man. We all have opinions on the show, just like you. Stop stealing my bits, by the way. I think that I didn't mean to offend all of your friends in the transgender community.
All of my friends and some of my friends are in all kinds of different communities. Good for you. Wow. Maybe I have friends in the African-American community. As do I. Caucasian community. Me too. Transgender community. I have friends in every community. And you want to know something, Woods? What? You offend all of them. Good. I'll take all comers, pal. You offend me. Yeah, you're offensive. You take my airtime. How am I offensive? You breathe all over my airtime. I do not breathe. What's this? You're always crying about something. Maybe you listen to another radio show if you don't like it. Turn it off. Turn it off. I don't get other radio shows on my radio. Do you have an iPod? No. Don't you? He has a computer. Do you have an iPod? Stream online. I have a Commodore computer. Do you have a... I have a 386. Do you have a CD player? Yes, it would. And you can't...
I'm not. You are too. You care less. You're asking personal questions about my personal life. If you don't want to listen to us, if you hate us so much, turn on your iPod, put on a record, put on a 45, put on an 8-track. I don't care. Listen to podcasts from the day before. It's not up to you to decide what my alarm clock goes off to. It's up to you. I know, but the part of the alarm clock that uses the buzzer doesn't work. The only thing that works is the buzzer. If you hate us so much, you would rather wake up to dead air than us. No, I wouldn't. Yes, you would. If you hate us, which you don't. No, you don't. You love us so much. I can't stand my... You're so excited. You're so excited. You got Eskimo Blue Waters Committee. You got Mikey's testimony today, which I know you love. I know you're excited about it. You pretend that you're not. We're going to play some radio charades. You can guess along at home in your car. Yeah, you play right along. I know you do. Listen to your iPod.
Ship in for radio for you. Don't we all. To the universe. A what? To the universe. For what? Go for it. Please let Jeff and Jer come back. Please let Jeff and Jer come back. Please. If that's what you so desire, throw it out there. Have a ball. If you're listening right now, Jeff and Jer, I miss you. I miss you. Maybe send their former GM a letter. A letter. Rick. R. Jackson. Don't mock me. Don't mock me. Don't mock me. You don't stop mocking us. He's on one again today. Oh, yeah. He never can hang the phone up. He's starting early today. He's a clown. Can you go get back on? I got a new phone. Good. It's about time. What is it? Hamburger phone? I'm going to buy it for you. What? Is it a hamburger phone? If you must know, it was part of a radio promotion from a hamburger company. And it is a hamburger. I tried to hang the bun up right now.
Talking into the pickles. No, I'm not talking into the pickles. Talking into the lettuce. Oh, okay. That is, I was talking into the lettuce. That's classic. He got over on us. You gotta admit that. Yep, he did. What's the deal with CVS? What's the hubbub with them? Well, first of all, one of my favorite places. I love CVS. I can spend hours. It did spend hours there yesterday. Can't you just imagine when the double doors open up, what it smells like as you walk in? Gray carpet. Yeah, it comes to your head right away. I start walking the aisles, I'm like, oh yeah, I need an exfoliating mask. Absolutely I do. I'm looking around, I'm like throwing it in my cart, and then I'm walking, I'm like, dude, portable toilet paper, Charmin, like little tight rolls. A couple of these in. Who doesn't need that? Who doesn't need a tiny little thing of gold bond powder? Yeah. Who doesn't need a miniature sized thing of scope? Oh, the travel section? Absolutely. Travel scope. That's the best. Everything's so cute. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can fit that in my purse. Yeah, you're getting it. You're like, I don't have to clutter all my drawers with these big things of shaving cream. I just get five little ones. It's great. Get three shaves out of this thing. You get this where you're just, you're enjoying yourself so much looking at.
tiny bottles of suave shampoo. You're just looking it all over. And people are like, trying to get by. Because you're standing there. Same thing happens to me at the magazine rack. Because I'll be there for 45 minutes. That blows me away. And people are like, ugh. Like, okay, why? You know what you read. Hold on. I'm browsing. Did you say you were looking at shampoo, Mikey? I mean, I just need to know. Mint in general, you know? Wait. You know what magazines you read? Yeah, Woods. You know they change every month? Right. You know what you do? What? You walk in and go, oh, I love Rolling Stone. And you grab it. And you don't stand there. like the guy in the library that reads the newspaper for free, you don't stand there and read the magazine for free. You're a clown if you do that. Maybe I'm not that interested in the fact that Dexter is on the cover of this issue of Rolling Stone, and I'm not really interested in Dexter. And I'm browsing, like, well, what other stories are in here? And I'm like, you know what? I'm kind of out on Edward Furlong's comeback, too. And you know what else? I'm not really that interested in Twilight. Maybe spend the $3 and take it home with you and don't read it at the rack. Really? That's stealing.
It is not. It's browsing. Browsing the cover of it is not stealing. Stealing is reading the whole magazine. No, I'm not saying the cover. The guy that sits there and reads it the whole time. Oh, okay. Flips the deal. I don't do that. I browse the covers and I go, well, what's going on? Nah, I'm not really interested. Not really interested. I'm interested in that one. So what'd you go with? Cosmo? No. Us Weekly. People. She's saying that because I got my eyebrows waxed. You said it. I didn't say it. I was gonna, but I didn't. Yeah, you know what? I'll do it over and over and over and over and over again. I'll do it all the time now. It looks nice. You look nice. Listen, the way that it used to look was I looked like Garfield. I looked like... You think that now? It's crazy. I look like Grover, you know? You know how I know you're gay? Really? Fine. Go ahead. You can. I don't mind. It's all right. Well, do you want me to tell you about what happened in my favorite store? You are a sad, strange little man. Say whatever you want.
Say whatever you want. Play your little funny drops, Jay. Poking fun at me. You can. But the bottom line is that as a very short American man. Mexican-American. Mexican-Americans don't like to just get into gang fights. They like flowers and music and eyebrows. Got cleaned up. Real sweet. Didn't it? Yeah. But I'm an old woman. You look good. Thank you. It does look good. Thanks, Woods. Anyway, CVS is in a little bit of hot water. They have to pay out $77.6 million. Why? Why? They're selling a meth ingredient there.
Yeah, they were selling something called pseudoephedrine. It's an ingredient found in cold and sinus medicine. That's a pseudoephedrine. Right. Why did they get in trouble for that? What they were doing is they're blaming the, quote, flawed implementation of an electronic monitoring system. So the system broke down. Guys were able to buy this stuff in bulk, whip up some crystal meth. Everybody has a nice long weekend. Yeah. It's because of the crystal meth crowd that you now have to... Pull the little thing, take it up to the front counter and do it that way. I think that's how they make cat crack, too. Yeah, it is how they make it. It's the worst. It's the best. It's the worst. If by the worst. I mean the worst. You mean the best? Then yeah, it's the worst. So lowbrow. Come on, dude. Damn it, you already used my, I was going to use your eyebrows against you today, so I didn't have to hear it. I'm just going to start singing over it, talking over it, the whole thing. Turned his mic off. Nice. Worst. What's up with that ending bar? I get it over here now. It's just eight times louder. It's not. But Jay can't tell.
What? I don't know that it's louder. I can't hear that it's louder. So deflating. Do you, Woods? Yes. Yeah, you do. What? Later in the day, it's in your head. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Never? You know what's in my head, pal? That's not a true statement. You know what's in my head? What? Shakespeare. Really? Nietzsche, pal. Nietzsche. Really? Yeah. Yeah, the works of Plato. Tom Waits. Yeah, yesterday I was reciting the Iliad while I was on El Camino Real. Absolutely. Unbelievable, pal. It's the worst. 570-1949. What's in my head right now is C.C. Sabathia, C.J. Wilson, Ron Washington, Joe Girardi, Alex Rodriguez. That's all I can think about. So that's what I was going to ask you. You're going to a concert tonight. I am. I'm going to see you. What time do you have to leave? Well. The Deftones and Alice in Chains play tonight. I don't know what time doors open. I know there's an opening band, Mastodon, or as Ella B. called it yesterday. What was it? Matador. She goes, oh, yeah, Matador's opening. I'm like, Mikey's not going to be there. So game starts at 5, I think. But I can't leave my house until it's over. Unless it's a blowout either way. You won't leave until it's over. No. Can't you get it on AM radio? No, not here. What if it went 18 innings?
Well, I'm actually going to Vegas tomorrow to see Alice in Chains in the Deftones, so I'd probably stay home and let everybody else go. Oh, wow. I'm seeing them back-to-back nights, so if I've got to miss it, I've got to miss it. Oh, wow. You're not kidding around. Playoffs, dude. You're not kidding around. Playoffs. Playoffs. My wife had an L.O.B. moment last night. Uh-oh. Is she tripping full? No. Did she mispronounce something? No, she thought black guys were attractive. Oh, no. That's an LLB moment. That is. We were talking about LT, and she goes, he's from here, right? And I go, no, he's from Texas. And she goes, that's right. He went to Texas University. No. No, he went to TCU. I go, you just throw stuff out. Yeah, just make stuff up. Just make stuff up, just see if it fits. Yeah, you see if anyone catches you on it. Right. And if they don't. It's a good bit. It's a victory. That's right. Yep. L.O.B. will say the most random stuff. She'll be like, we landed on the moon in 60, right? 1960. Yeah, it was 1960. Like, no. And she's like, it was Buzz Armstrong? Buzz Armstrong was the first guy? Lightyear. No, it was not Buzz Armstrong. Buzz Lightyear. And Woody somewhere. Yeah, wasn't Woody the second guy? He had a snake in his boot, didn't he? Remember the phrase was, it's not fear that we have to fear, but fear itself? Fear itself.
Fear of the moon. It's fear of the moon or something. It's fear of the sun, not the moon. Oh, right, right, right. You know what I do appreciate, though, about you, L.O.B., is that when you do do that, you don't do the thing that a lot of people do, where it's like the other person is at fault. You don't do that. Like, you ever do this with somebody? You're talking to somebody, and they'll say something that's wrong. Like real wrong. You correct them and they're like, whatever. Like, who cares anyway? Right. They do that bit. They try to play it off. It's a thing of like, well, it doesn't. Sorry. It's Captain Corrector. Sorry. Yes. How about the guy that, how good a feeling is it is when you know something and you know it. Right. You know it with all your being that you're right. Yeah. And that guy argues with you and argues with you and argues with you. You're like. Dude, all right, I'll bet you a paycheck. I'll bet you a paycheck. Let him get it all out and then just get Google. So check this out, Woodsy. That's great that you bring that up because when we come back, Wolf Blitzer is interviewing Senator Barbara Boxer, and she had said something that was outrageous. And Wolf Blitzer's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, this is not, you know, you said this, and what's up with that?
And she goes, well, I did it. And he goes, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on. And he won't let her go. He will not let her out of it. So when we come back, I'll play you that clip. It's phenomenal of him just holding her to it. Make some noise in here. Today is intrusion, and I haven't used it yet. So when I use it between now and 10 o'clock, call her 9-570-1949. We'll get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. It's worth $236. And Eskimo Blue Waters is going to come up here, bring some ice cream for us to try at 7.30 this morning. And so we'll get to see what that's all about. So before we went to commercial, Woodsy was saying that he was using the example of calling somebody out. And it reminded me of this clip that we have of...
Wolf Blitzer doing exactly that to Barbara Boxer yesterday. Take a listen. When you say you supported $2 trillion in tax cuts during the stimulus. Yes, I have them during my career. Oh, during your career. I thought you just said during the stimulus. When you say you supported $2 trillion. $1.2 trillion with a stimulus. There was $1.2 trillion in tax cuts. There was a lot. Well, I will put it this way. There was a lot, you know. Some. Trillions or millions. I don't know. There was some tax cuts. There was $450 in tax cuts. Or trillions. I don't... I mean, that's something that you kind of want. If somebody makes that claim, you kind of want to hold their feet to the fire. Over time, that's what it will be when you figure all the tax... In the year...
40, 15. Okay? It will have been. It will have been. It's projected. Projected to be. Unbelievable. It cuts over time. And what we did for the senior citizens. She's nervous. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Giving them back those refunds. So there was a lot. Actually, a third of the STEM. was direct tax cuts. Yeah, but that would be maybe $200 or $300 million. We're not talking about a trillion. So sue me. What do you want from me? Apples and oranges. Yeah. $200 million or $1.2 trillion. Whatever. Tomato, tomato. Yeah. You say trillion if you want, or I'll say it, or you say it. Crazy. Eat a horse to water. Yeah. Burn the hand. As the crow flies. If a tree falls. Then marry it. Yeah. Who can hear it? So let me say this. A third of the stem and over my time, let me correct it. You're right. Thank you. Two point. Thank you very much. I actually appreciate that. Thank you so much. Crazy. Very nice of you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Two trillion. I voted in tax cuts. One point two trillion of which became law. A third of the stem was tax cuts and it was considered the biggest tax cut in history over a couple of year period. Wrong, sir.
Wrong! Well, there it is. So she was not very happy with Wolf Blitzer. We got Woods on Sports coming up here in just a second. He's going to fill you in on everything that's going on with the playoffs this weekend, all that stuff. Did I have a chance to look at recaps today or no? Did I? I think it was the first thing you did. It was? You ever just... Not remember something you did less than an hour ago? Memento. Do you ever just never highlight anything on mine? You ever read about how what Woods had for lunch in his recap? Woods says to me, he's like, never read my recaps, pal. Never. Like, okay. So, question. Do I have to do them anymore? Yeah, you do. See, Woods doesn't realize that his life is very interesting. Obviously not. It is, but you don't see. I rack my brain every night. I'm like. I asked Jamie last night, I go, did I do anything funny or say anything funny? And she's like, no, you came here and you got on the couch and you pulled the little blanket up under your chin. That's funny. That's not funny. It is to me. Is it funny that a grown man, a 35-year-old man who is a sports guy, goes home and puts a little blanket up and watches TV while four little Yorkies jump all and sleep with him? Funny.
You got to think outside the box. You got to think outside the box. Well, okay, so here's what Woods did yesterday. I get real butt hurt because I want my... Every day, Lauren's is like... I watch Mikey reading Lauren's recap, and he's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. L-O-B. And I'm like... He just glazes over mine. Stop. Everybody spends their time... All right, I'm sorry. Woods, from yesterday, from his recap, my wife brought me Kehlani's and got Chipotle for dinner. Delicious. I'm very stoked for my weekend. I'm going to see the Deftones and Alice in Chains tonight, which I touched on already. And then I'm flying to Vegas to see them again on Saturday. I love the double up on a show. I hate you. Done it a few times before. And there's always a different energy and one that stands out from the other. I hate you. That's great. Listen, I did discuss that with you. I'm leaving. Most of the time, though, I'll be honest with you, Woodsy will do the, hey, had mac and cheese for dinner. When I do the recap, I'm like, oh, God, I just want to get this over with. I got to get it written and get it to L.O.V. The problem is you have great stuff, but you don't think it's. I hear it in the morning. He doesn't know how interesting he is. I hear it before we start the show. I'll walk into his house. Will you write my recap for me based on what I tell you in the morning? Next time I'll jot down some notes.
I thought this was interesting. It's embarrassing to me. It's embarrassing. He never does mine. And every day I'm like, I look at him, I watch him, and I'm like, yeah, just glaze right over to get it. I think you just get interested in other people's lives one at a time. Because for a while it was always Woods. For a while it was always Sienna. Jay spent some time getting some glory. Now it's my turn. You're in the time of the sun. And L.O.B., let me apologize. I did not mean to steal your moment in the sun. Look at what I have for me. That's it. That's it. You don't write one. I do. I'll give you something. If there's something interesting in my life, I'll tell you. You know, I mean, honestly, the problem is, is that my life is very OCD. I feel like a baby right now. A big crying baby. No. Here, let me tell you. So listen to this. Woods is right. Lauren's is the only one that's been highlighted today.
Is there time in the sun? I'm the only single one. I do interesting things. That's true. I didn't do anything fun yesterday either. This doesn't have anything to do with you being single. No. She had a $25 charge for InStyle magazine, which is fine. She just doesn't get InStyle magazine. What? And it turns out that she bought something at a beauty supply store and they asked her if she wanted a free copy of it. Yep. And they scanned some agreement that she didn't know about to subscribe to the magazine. Dude. She thought it was ebony. No, she said, would you like a free copy of InStyle magazine? I said, sure. And then it got delivered to my house. And there, of course, it sat unopened because what do I know about style? What do I care? Is that what it is? It's all about fashion stuff? I think. I don't know. I haven't looked at it. Get my missus on the phone. She'll tell you. She describes about 19 magazines. Yeah. So I called them up yesterday. It was on my bank statement. Yeah. $24.95. 1-866-something, whatever. I've never had that happen, and now I'm going to be on the lookout. All the time. Oh, my gosh. So the guy's like, what's your account number? I'm like, this is what you're not understanding. There is no account. I don't have an account number. I don't know what this is. Yeah. He's, like, asking me for my email address. I'm like, you wouldn't have my email address. It's a scam, right? Are you talking to the guy at the bank or the guy at the magazine company? I was talking to the guy in India who then put me over to a real person that was in the States.
that was understanding what I was saying. Hello, my name is Brian. How may I help you? Brian. Yes. I have this magazine thing on my account, or on my bank statement. I don't know what it's for. I just want it off. I want to know what this is all about. May I ask, to whom am I speaking? This is Lauren, L-A-U-R-E-N, O'Brien, O-B-R-I-E-N. Hello, Lauren O'Brien. It's wonderful to talk to you today. Sorry? I said it is wonderful to talk to you today. Wonderful to talk to you too. So I want to know about this charge and how I can get it reversed. I would be happy to help you with your problem. Okay. Anything I can do to help you today will be wonderful for you. Okay. How did you get this charge on your credit card, Mr. O'Brien? Miss O'Brien, actually, that's why I was calling, because I don't know how I got this. I don't know. Here's the number that was on my bank statement. I'm calling it, and now I'm speaking to you. Yes, sir. Well, I am going to look into your account. Is it possible, and do I have your permission to look into your account, please? Sure. Okay, Mr. O'Brien, I have found the problem.
You are right. You did not sign up for this magazine and we regret any problem that you had with that. Okay. And I will now reverse the charge onto your credit card. I hope you have had a wonderful time to talk to me. Has my services been adequate for you today? They have. Only the conversation didn't go that way. What do you mean? You got really angry with me because I didn't understand one of the words you were saying. Mr. O'Brien, I said I'll leave you happy to help. You were saying what's first name and I... What's first name, please? Yeah, and for some reason I needed you to say that three times. What's first name? Yeah, you got really upset with me. I said hath her thing. Can I? Speak to a manager. That speaks English. You know how many times a day I hear that bit? Actually, you put me through without me even asking because you were just as frustrated with me. I am just trying to help you, sir. I am not trying to fight with you at all. At all. I do not want any trouble from you. I don't want any trouble from you, but I'm getting a little frustrated. You're yelling.
You started it. You're yelling at the top of your lungs. I'm sorry about that. I was yelling a little bit. I would like to ask you to please stop screaming. All right, I'm done. You're shouting. Oh, that's good. I love the memorized phrases. Yes. Oh, my gosh. That, and you know, I love the bit, too, and I've talked about it on the air before. The same thing happened to me when I bought Girls Gone Wild on DVD. Just kept getting, like, eight and seven, eight. I kept getting them every month, and I'm like, oh. Wow, that's $20 every single month for a fresh Girls Gone Wild DVD that I ordered at 3 in the morning after 70 beers. On a cruise. You still have them? No, I got rid of them, did I? But the girl that then got me on the phone, she reversed the charges and it was great. And I asked her if it was legal. And she's like, yes, you signed it. Oh, you agreed to the terms. I'm like, really? When? How? And she told me how it all worked. You agreed to this. This is your fault. You asked for this. Yes. You were asking for it. But then she says afterwards, I wanted to know if I could interest you in a $24.95. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't read magazines. Yeah. Okay, then let me let you know about our book offer, which is $19.95. Oh, my God. You just got to hang up. I'm just trying to help you. I don't know why you're so upset. They have these things they have to say. Do you ever? I don't know what we're yelling about.
When you guys get one of those people, those people, listen to me. When you get one of those folks on the phone and... You mean Brian from New Delhi. Yes, and they want to give you... We got so mad at me. They want to give you your confirmation number. I'm always like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. L47X46. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Lauren actually writes it down. I'm like, oh, my God. Three confirmation numbers yesterday. I was taking care of business. Your confirmation number is Z2457281927CCC4982112. I like how they started in the bit. Z is in zoo. Zoo, yeah. P is in. B as in. And then they ask you to give it back to them. I'm like, what do I say? They do do that sometimes. I've spent enough time on the phone with customer service people that when I talk to them, I'll be like, oh, apostrophe B as in Brian, R as in Robert. Like, I know the whole bit. Hyphen dot. Yeah. O'Brien dot edu. We played the video of the kid or we played the the deal with the kid that was crying.
And he was upset about the Chargers. Chargers-Raiders game. Yeah, the Chargers-Raiders game. He was really upset about it. And mainly, you know, just that it was the Raiders. He just couldn't believe that they could lose to the Raiders. Oh, my God. Not to Oakland. Oh, wow. Uh-oh. Get away. Get out of here. I'm trying to watch the damn game. Mom, it's not over yet. Get out of here. We've all been there. Oh, my God. I have to Oakland. Yeah, to Oakland. Get away, Mom, please. I'm really trying to watch the game. He's upset. Because he should be.
All right, maybe we haven't all been upset to that point, but we've been upset before. And now there's another one that's out there, very viral video. And this is a little kid that has gotten very excited about the Chargers. They lost to Oakland, and he's just upset about the sport. He's kind of giving up on the sport of football. You think that kid hates football? Oh, my gosh. I think he's still on the fence. Poor little guy. Poor guy? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it makes you lose all your faith in football. You don't even want to watch the Chargers anymore. Woodsy's going to give us the lowdown on what's happening in the playoffs and a lot more. What's on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, tonight is game one. I told my wife last night that I wish I could take a pill, fall asleep,
until after the game was over with a Yankee victory. I'm nauseous about it. I've gotten no less than 60 texts, private messages, Facebook bits about how the Rangers are going to destroy my guys, and I'd now like to open it up. I'll be taking bets. Put your money where your mouth is, pals. Really? Yeah, stop running mouth. Win something first before you run mouth. To me, it's interesting that you are nervous, and the reason is because it would... I would understand that if you were, you know, a longtime Padre fan because they've never won a championship. Right. Well, we've won 27, and I've pitched pretty well over the years. Had to shut it down, but still rooting for my teammates. I'm sick. It's nerve-wracking. It's electric. It's so fun. But it's just nauseating. It's nauseating. So CeCe Sabathia is going to go tonight against C.J. Wilson. Sabathia is 8-3 with a 429 ERA and 14 career starts against the Rangers. They bat 218 against him with a lineup that they're going to go tonight. I like my chances tonight. Cliff Lee scares me to death. He is a beast. But here's Sabathia talking about his old guy. His stuff has always been the same. They were teammates. He's always been that good. I think it was just a couple of injuries he had in 2007 that kind of set him back.
But he's always been good. He's always thrown the ball over the plate. And, you know, him throwing a two-seamer now makes all the difference. It's going to be good. It's going to be real good. You going to watch some of it? Yeah, I will. What are you going to do if they go to, like, a game six, seven? Oh, my. Oh, my. I'm telling you guys, I'm going to apologize in advance. And I'm going to leave it at that. Oh, boy. I'm going to apologize in advance. Your wife's like, please take it in four. Yeah, seriously. Seriously. Also, there's a report that Tiger Woods' agent, Mark Steinberg, has said, listen, enough is enough. The guy's had a rough year. He's no longer talking about his sex scandal. It's time to move forward. He has answered all the questions that he's going to answer, and I hope he's heading for a productive week in Melbourne, Australia, where he's playing in Australia. It was a smart decision to do it that way. I do, too. You say that, and you just don't deal with it anymore. Yeah, you just don't do it. It's the Australian Masters on November 11th through 14th, and he just said, hey, listen, don't ask him anymore. We're going to do a don't ask, don't tell bit with Tiger Woods. And then also, as you guys know, the Chargers are taking on the Rams this weekend. They have made some moves, Mike, to help sure up the special teams. They had a really good week in practice. And as you guys know, the special teams has been atrocious this year. It's really contributed to all of their losses. They've been giving up runbacks, touchdown punt runbacks. They've been giving up block punts. So they signed a guy named Cyril Obazor.
who should really help, I would imagine, with a name like that. And Antoine Barnes as well, who got cut from the Eagles. So they're trying to get some players in there, some fast guys, some guys that know what they're doing. But, you know, Phillip Rivers knows that his team is not out of it cut to. This week we want to, you know, eliminate those crucial mistakes and get our first win on the road and get to 500 and stay on the course, stay on the road to give ourselves a chance to play in the postseason. Yeah, they won postseason. make the postseason, you've got to beat teams like the Rams. And then also the other fun NFL game this weekend is going to be what they're calling the Panic Bowl. And it's the 1-3 Cowboys against the 1-3 Vikings. And man, these two guys, these two teams need a win. And they've got to have it. They both spent a ton of dough on their teams. Jerry Jones thought, hey man, we're going to be the first.
You know, first city to ever host a Super Bowl with our team in it. That's how good we are. Right. Well, you're at one and three right now, but here he is talking about Brett Favre. Cut three. No one respects him more than I do as far as his contribution to the NFL and what he's very capable of doing. I know nothing or no detail of anything that has... that have been shown or alleged. I know nothing about that. You ever heard a guy not want to talk about something? Yeah, absolutely. He knows what's been alleged. Oh, absolutely. He is the craftiest old codger. Yeah, he sure is. That's Woods on Sports, bud. I would say that the TV show The View is about as opposite of my views as it gets. So yesterday, Bill O'Reilly's on. And he says something to Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg that makes them Storm off the set. And then Barbara Walters flips out and chastises them for doing it. And we have audio of it. And it's great. It's dumb. It's interesting. It's dumb. And it's next. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show with a live studio audience in here today with us. Very nice.
We have not said the word of the day yet. The word of the day is intrusion. And sometime between now and 10 a.m., I will say that word when I do. Caller number nine will win a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. And that's worth a value of $236. It's pretty nice. Get ready for that. The view is probably about as opposite of my viewing habits as it gets. Yes. Might as well. That's right. But yesterday, Bill O'Reilly went on. They were talking about the Ground Zero mosque. And Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar walk off the set because of Bill O'Reilly's comments, which, by the way, I don't agree with Bill O'Reilly's comments necessarily, but check it out for yourself.
Make up for your own mind what you think Americans wanted to know what his opinion was on the issue and he wouldn't give it Let me break this to you 70% of Americans don't want that moss down there. So don't give me the weed Yeah, he will Muslims killed us on 9-11. Wait, he didn't say Muslims killed us. Verbatim. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so, but wait a minute. I know, but you, you did not. I did, my wife showed me. She goes, look at this. Watch this video. I watched it yesterday. But isn't he forming it in a question? It's not a state. Okay, let's listen. No, listen again. Inappropriate. Why is it inappropriate with 70 families? Because he was killing us on 9-11. No, you're right. I know. This is lunatic. Did they have to bleep them or something? Oh, yeah, because Whoopi goes, this is bull ass like that. I was like, it was, did you not see the video? No, no, no. It's heated.
You guys ever talk over each other real good? Yeah, you can never understand what anybody's saying. And it's obviously by design. Otherwise, they would have changed it. When the producers and the people that... Babwa. When they got together and said, we need a show of hens. We got to get a big crew of hens together. Did they literally sit in a room and go, now, who are the biggest beatings out there? Because if you had a pool of beatings to pick from, you could not pick better. Mission accomplished. What I want is for all of you to talk, but talk normal. That means if you're all talking at the same time. That's fine. Yeah, seriously. It's really ironic, Barbara, that you would be telling someone to talk normal. Right. There is some whiny in that. A whittle. There is. A whittle. Wait till you hear her freak out. Yeah, she freaks out. So they're about to walk off the set, Whoopi and Joy. So a couple of people are applauding that they're walking out. Joy, if my memory serves, Joy stands up.
in front of Bill O'Reilly. Like this. All confrontational. One of the two stood up first and was right in front of him. I think it was Joy Behar and she was looking at him. Then she walks. And then Whoopi's like, I'm going to. And gets up and follows him out. Z-snap. Yeah, get a little Z-snap in. What should not happen. We should be able to have discussions without washing our hands and screaming and walking off stage. I love my calling. It should not have happened. The same people that were clapping that they left are now clapping that they're being scolded for leaving. That's a sheep. Let's just clap at anything. Yes, I agree. And I'm glad you guys walked out and showed solidarity. It was a good idea. Hi, guys. Am I on the air?
Oh, yes. Is this Sandra Rossi? Yes, it's Sandra Rossi with two N's. Hi, Sandra. Hi, how are you? We're good. My wife and I actually looked at your website last night. You did? Yeah, www.sandrawith2N'sRossiHandbags.com. That's right, where I'm running for governor as a write-in. Right. Yes, and it's not about the handbags, although they are the finest linens in North America. Okay, okay, wrap it up. I'm interested in them, but that's not what it's about. Mostly it's about me running for governor. It's about your gubernatorial candidacy. That's right. As a gubernatorial candidate, I pledge to be against things that you're against. And I also pledge to be for things that you would be for. I'm also against things that are bad and for things that are good. Therefore, you should vote for me. What's your stance on animal cruelty? At Sandra Rossi, with two N's, handbags.com. I put it on your Facebook page yesterday. Yeah, a couple times. Yeah. What's your stance on animal cruelty? I think it's terrible, and it should stop. What's up with the fur bags you got on there? What do you mean? There's a raccoon skin purse. It isn't raccoon. What is it? It's the finest chinchilla. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, that's not good. Not any better. It's the finest chinchilla fur that South America offers. And if you would like to see it, you can see it at...
Sandra Rossi handbags. With two Ns. Sandra Rossi. So you think the chinchilla just handed over its fur and was like, oh, this is not cruel. Just have it. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm against robbery, identity theft, and animal cruelty. And you're for? I'm for things like? Passports. Yes. Clean water. For sure. Candy? Yes. Okay. Children. For children. For children. In moderation. Moderation. Quick. How about pot? What's your stance on the legalization of marijuana in this state? What do you think about the legalization of marijuana? I'm kind of against it. I'm kind of for it. I also have a... Can you hear me? We can hear you. I'm having trouble hearing you. I don't think that you are. Are you still talking? I can't hear you. Yeah, you can hear us. If you're still there...
Because I can't tell if you're still there because I can't hear you. What do you think about stem cell research? If you're still there, Mikey Show, I just want to let you know that you can read all about my... We're here. Can you hear us? Can you hear us? You can hear us because you just paused. Yeah, you're listening. I can't hear you. What's your... So if you're still there... We're here. I want you to know that you can go to Sandra Rossi Handbag.com. My favorite purse on the website is probably... You can hear us. Sandra. You're cutting out again. That's a shame. Oh, dear. L.O.B., something tells me she doesn't want to get into the issues. She doesn't want to get into the issues. I wish I could. I've got to go on to another show now. Okay. Vote for Sandra Rossi Handbags.com. Write-in candidate, correct? Yes. Vote for Sandra Rossi Handbags.com. What's your stance on stem cell research? Two ends. It's a vote for good. What about capital punishment? Offshore drilling. She's skirting the issues real good. She's pursing the issues. She's pursing the issues real good. Next time she's on, maybe we just make her accountable. We have to pin her down. Well, I mean, we don't need to pin her down, but we need to hold her feet to the fire. Careful. Well, we don't want to do that either. Okay, so when we do lists, I've said this before. I've said to our producer, Jay.
You know, I like lists, but if it's a list, I don't want it to be predictable. I want it to be something that I don't necessarily think of. So when he said, what about eight things guys notice about girls? I'm like, well, how many different ways can you say the word breasts? Right. But. And he says, no, it's not like that. All right. Well, let me see it. These are actual things that they've studied that we notice about girls. And it may not be the typical stuff. Number eight, believe it or not, we notice your eyes. Oh, yeah. Almost the first thing. Yeah, they focus on them. They really, really focus on them more than any other body part, believe it or not. Really? Yeah, I find that hard to believe. I think it is true. I think that we do. And I'll tell you why, Woods. I'll tell you why. Because I don't think that it's socially appropriate to stare at a woman's breasts. Since when has that ever stopped any of us from doing that? It kind of does, you know? Maybe you.
Not Jay and I. It doesn't stop you from feeling like you're a creep? No. Well, it says that we do it and that dramatic eye makeup will have him zeroing in on your eyes even more. We also notice what's fake about you. Teeth? Breasts, once again. Now, yes, fake lashes, fake hair extensions, that stuff. Oh, they don't know. You guys don't know. I don't know fake hair extensions. I do not. I don't know fake lashes. I do not. I do. But you do? I can tell the fake lashes. You can? Mm-hmm. No. Well. I can't even tell. Not if they're good. The list says that it screams high maintenance to a guy. Yeah, I can see that. And Woods is a fan of breast augmentation. 100%. Even if he can completely tell that it's been altered. Yeah, great.
Love boobs. My thought on that is if it has a natural look to it and doesn't look phony. Listen, I don't need them out to here, but a nice couple of plump cans. Just stop. Quit while you're ahead. Looks nice. Even if it looks really fake? I'll show you an example. No, you don't need to. I'm fine. How are you? I'll show you at the break. You'll see what I mean. This list is very clear where it says that this is not a fakeness in personality type. However, I will tell you, to me, I pick up on that. I have a sensitivity to it. Right. Fake personalities. Oh, man. I'm telling you, I have a real sensitivity to it. Yeah. Me too. I think I do too. Men will notice your glowiness. They associate that with good mental health. They think that you're not a loon. somehow have a glowiness about you. So if you're pale and pasty, you're probably crazy. Mm-hmm. Makes sense. No. That's what I think it's saying. I think a glow is like, you know, you say it to someone when they're pregnant or maybe after they had a good night, and it's like an indescribable glow that people have. It'll be your glowing. It's a twinkle in your eye. Why do you have a twinkle in your eye? Yeah, why are you glowing? It says that stress and anxiety...
Usually cause breakouts. Did I just miss something? Did you make love to an individual or something? Oh my gosh. No. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That's crazy, Mike. How ridiculous. You guys are embarrassing me. You are. You're embarrassing yourself. You said it. I didn't say it. You said it. You said I'm glowing. I didn't say that. You said that sometimes people will have a glow about them if they had a particularly wonderful night. And then when you said it, you got a big smile. I also said when people are pregnant. So are we just going to start throwing that rumor out? Congratulations. Yeah, but when you say that, you didn't get a big giant smile and start blushing immediately. Oh, my God. Whatever that's supposed to be. She was awfully tired this morning. Did you see what Woods said? Ella B., you're glowing. And then he winked. Yeah, look at his face. You know what else we noticed? All of you out in your car cannot see it. They can imagine it. This is something else that guys notice about women. We notice your hip to waist ratio. Oh, boy. You're dead for that one. I don't ever notice that. I don't either. Just FYI. Never have looked at a hip to waist. Childbearing hips. That's what they're looking for. Do you know?
That that is exactly it. Is that what it says? L-O-B. Yeah, we're looking for baby mamas. What? Are we? Are we? For sure. If your waist is noticeably smaller than your hips, it signifies fertility. True story. And a wide belt will emphasize that look. A wide belt. Does that mean a wide belt? I don't know. Like the big, thick, tall belt. Like one Gene Simmons might wear. Yeah, if you wear like a Gene Simmons belt. Skull and crossbones on the front. Guys really like that. They'll be like three inches wide. Yeah. It's more tall than wide. Yeah. We also really notice the pitch of your voice. Oh, great. A thousand percent. Voice is really important. Great. Well, you have a good voice, LLB. You have a nasal voice. In fact, when you sang Santa Baby, that voice on that recording when you did Santa Baby was like candy in my ears. Don't you dare, Mike. Stick to the list. Oh, my God.
Just putting L.O.B. on a spit real good this break. L.O.B., believe it or not, gets embarrassed when we play this recording of her in her bathroom. Believe it or not. Believe it or not. From a few years ago when she recorded Santa Baby for her boyfriend. Right. And she had to do it one take because her roommates were coming home. Through headphones. Yeah, she used a pair of headphones as a microphone. Like this. Hello, hello. Except they were like little earbuds. Like the little microphone on them? That's pretty good quality then. Holy cow. It's not bad. Let's listen to see what the quality is like. Let's check the quality of this recording. I think the parts where it gets pitchy, I blame it on the earbuds. Pitchy dog. Yeah, again, she didn't have a feather boa, so she just used the strap from a robe. She took one of her roommate's gloves, winter gloves, and bit each. Isotoners. Yeah, her Isotoner Dan Marino gloves and bit the finger off of each. Yeah. Yeah, shaking the hips. Yeah, kicking. Oh, boy. Let's see. He hates it. Which makes us love it. Oh, it's hot in here. Oh, my God. So good.
So good. She said the other day off the air, she goes, I didn't realize you were going to keep playing that. Forever and ever. Yeah. And ever. It's legend. I should be able to redo it. You should get a cut. Yeah. You should get royalties. Absolutely. It's legendary. Of all the copies it's going to sell. Yesterday she told us that she's got a recording of her doing Donald Duck. Jingle Bell Rock, but I titled it Jingle Bell Quack. Unbelievable. It never ends with her. It never ends. Piles and piles of gold. There's so much that I'm sitting on. What's that like? You know what else she said? She has one of those mini recorders. And she said she's got a bunch of stuff of her on there. And I go, like what? And she goes, like me, warming. Oh, she said that on the drive to the restaurant where she first met me, which was a potato shack. Uh-huh. Delicious. I had asked her, I said, hey, what kind of voices do you do? Because I knew that she did voices. So she's in the car driving to the potato shack in Encinitas doing voices into the recorder. Do you have this? Okay, I did it a couple times. And one of them I actually did on GarageBand because I was going to burn you an MP3. Yeah.
So I may have one or both. I've got to check. How great of gold is that? It's unbelievable. All I was doing was sitting there imitating all the characters in my life, like aunts and uncles. Other mother. Other mother. Babies. Friends. How great is that? Brilliant. I want to play it on the radio. I'll have to find it. Well, men do notice the pitchier voice. Men are drawn to a higher register. Really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know one brother talks like, hey, how you doing? Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Sienna has a very sultry voice. It's sultry, but it's not deep. Yeah, hers is scratchy and sexy. Yeah, I love the scratchy voice. She's not like, hey, how you doing? My wife has a scratchy voice, too. Yeah, she does. We also look at the size of your group. By group, you mean breasts? No. Oh. I've never heard that term for breasts before. Yeah, I like it, though. I'm going to start using that. Nice group, ladies. Nice group. Hey, those are some nice groups. Nice group you got there, kid. We don't like it if you have a big crew. Oh, you're right about that. You know what we like? We like three. Yeah, three. Three works for me. Three good friends. All at the same time, if we could get a chance. And you're being inappropriate. That's creepy, Uncle Jay.
Weird old Uncle Jay. Oh, creepster Uncle Jay. We also notice if your smile is real. If you have a fake smile, we'll know it. Give me your best fake smile, LLB. I buy that. I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it too. That's a really funny bit. We should probably wait on that one, though. Just because it's really funny. But it's really good. It's really good. Do they mean fake as ingenuine or like? false. Exactly. Like, yeah, we don't like it if you do the fake smile. We can tell a genuine smile. It's more relaxed. Here's mine. Yeah, it is. I do, okay, when I think it's, like, not funny. Oh, wow. Closed mouth smile is what a lot of people do. Closed mouth with a head nod. I get that a lot. It's good. Yeah, you do get that a lot. Can you tell if I don't? Thousand percent. You're the easiest to read in this room. What do I do? What?
Oh, gosh. You raise your eyeballs and go, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good idea, Woods. I'm listening. Yeah, Woods. Look anywhere but at the person. Yeah, Woods. Mikey show haikus. Really good idea. I really like that. Hang on. In defense to me, I flat out said I didn't like that idea. Thousand percent you did. I go, a little heady, Woods. No, dude. Haikus. Dude. Dude, everyone thinks haikus are funny. Do I ever oversell ideas? 100%. I thought they were great. So did our listeners. Genius. Guys, also notice how thick your hair is. Ovation, ovation, ovation. Yeah. Lustrous. Nothing like a good, thick head of lustrous hair. Yeah, right? Oh, man. That's funny. This song will always remind me of... A very particular time that Rebecca had broken up with me. Weird. Weird. And I was driving around in my truck at the time. Crying. Crying real good. And then I walk into a circle can. I'm like, hey, how you doing? Can I get a pack of Marlboro Lights? 70 beers. And then I get back in the car. Then your phone rings and you go, hello?
What's going on, man? Hey, hey, dude, can I call you right back? Okay, cool. I'll call you right back, all right? All right, cool. Guys ever cry and not tell people about it? No, I tell everybody no, unfortunately. You want to play radio charades? Yes. 5701949 is our number if you want to play radio charades with us. Surprise, Jay. That's a good one. Cool. We probably have. Pay-per-views. Now we have a $50 gift certificate to the only veggie fast food in San Diego. There you go. Evolution fast food. All right. Call us right now. 570-1949. So did he wait in last night on the Brett Favre sexting stuff? Told his own story. That's next. And also, Eskimo Blue Waters will be in the studio coming up next. Don't go away.
This is the song that I'm going to be singing at FM 94.9's 8th anniversary bash. Give it up for Big Mike. Yeah. Who's the big winner tonight? All right. Yeah. Big Mike. Big Mike. Big Mike is. Big money. Big money. Big money. Saturday night, November 13th. It's going to be at 4th and B downtown. Hold Steady's, The Night Marchers, New Politics, Company of Thieves, and the FM 94.9 house band. Wow. Wow. Featuring Mike Esparza. Please don't say that. Mike Esparza, everybody. I could not be more bummed that I'm missing you. I want to see it so bad. Yeah. I want to be there for you, dude. With you. It's going to be good. Holding your little, dainty, diminutive hand. Did you say effeminate? No, I didn't. You said feminine? Did you get your eyebrows waxed yesterday? You know what, Woods? You can't tell. It just cleaned up. What was that? You can't tell. It cleaned up my eyebrows. They're arced now. Yeah. They're not arced. She purposefully didn't arc them. They're, like, wire thin. No, they're not. They look... Oh, my gosh. They look fantastic. Wait till you guys see him out on the streets. Holy cow. Oh, there's a bunch of people in the studio here that are like, what's talking about? Yeah, they're kind of arced now. It's nice. They are not. She's real pretty. You're an unbelievable person. Real pretty.
They're, what did you say? Wire thin. They are not. He's like Tammy Faye Baker. Really? He draws them on now with a pencil. Right. Yeah. You know, that's a good bit. You ever done that bit to a buddy? Shave one of his eyebrows? Oh, so mean. One. Because you wake up. You've never done that. Oh, yeah. Please tell me you've never done that. Oh, yeah. That's a great college bit. You shave one of their eyebrows. It's cruel. We're in college. It's like, hey, you ever brand your friend, you know, just for fun? You ever just punch someone in the face? You know, like your friend. You just walk up to them. You're like, ah. Think about the conundrum. You know? You shave one. What do you do? Kill the person who did it to you. Well, besides that, after you beat the crap out of them, what do you do? You force the person to then shave their own eyebrow. Oh, my gosh. What do you do to yourself? I don't know. It sounds like Saw 8. Draw it on. You don't draw it on. You got to shave the other one. That's the thing. And then they have to be like, I'm shaving my eyebrow right now. Yeah, it's terrible. Terrible. We were bad dudes in college. And it takes a long time to grow eyebrows. I would imagine. Does it? Yeah. I wouldn't know. I've never plucked or had mine done. So I'll take your word for it, though. I don't know. Mine grow pretty fast.
You know what? Should I just take it to the house? If I don't make fun of your scattery beard and mustache. It's nasty. What about his pedicure? Really? What about that? Yeah, what about it? What about your pedicure? My feet were gnarly. I had to get a pedicure. You get them all the time. I don't get them all the time. Weekly. I don't. Weekly. No, I don't. Facials, the whole bit. I've never had any of that. No. I am so happy with my waxed eyebrows, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat. Yeah. Okay. Cater to you. Let's hear it. Man. They saved my life this morning. I'm on fire right now. Yeah, that's good. That is so good. Delicious. Well, here's what they do. Cater to You, they are sponsoring one of their signature restaurants, Lamont Street Grill, and they do California comfort food, and that is... For real. I'm comforted. I am too. I am comforted. I'm like warm. It's had penne pasta. It's got like andouille sausage in it, some chicken. It's great. Some sort of spice that made my mouth water. I need my chicken. They are located on the corner of Lamont Street and Hornblend in PB. The dressing for the salad is delicious. It's so good. They're open Tuesday to Sunday from 530 to 9.
And they provide catering services, obviously, for our show. And they can meet your culinary needs for corporate events. If you've got that coming up, fine dining, they do casual stuff, too. Go to their website, cater2usd.com. Really good stuff. And here is the part I love. Cater2U is going to donate 10% of their proceeds to Rady Children's Hospital. That is great. It's worth having a corporate event. Just to have them out there to cater it. Yeah, for sure. Find an excuse why you can throw a company party. It's really good. So Diddy was on the Letterman Show. And the topic of the Brett Favre sexting came up. Mr. Combs, when you are the owner of an NFL team and you had a problem arise, the way the Vikings and the Jets had a problem with their quarterback, Brett Favre, taking pictures of his... you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how would you handle something like that? Oh, I'm the perfect spokesman for that, baby. You know what I'm saying? Because, um, and I think that's why you need an owner like me that has gone through different things and has had different experiences. Me, I'm a sex texter myself. What is that? Sex thing? He knows what it is.
Yeah, what's that called? Fake bet. What is it? I think cell donging. What is it called? You know, see, this is an art, and this is a relationship that men and women have had since the beginning of mobile devices. Okay? Yeah, pee-pee pictures, I think. Is what they call them. Yeah, it doesn't get anybody in trouble either. No, never. It never comes back to bite anybody in the butt. Is it an art? It's an art. Mistake. This is where the mistake came in. When you send the picture with your head, okay? You have to do a headless sex thing. I mean, I mean, I mean, you know, you got to keep things spicy. So that they don't know it's you. Right. With your phone number. Attached. Right. To that picture. With a voicemail. With a voicemail. Saying, hey, that's me. Just got off practice. Just going to chill. We want to come on over. I think he's talking for the average Joe, not the Brett Favres. Anyway, I got to go. Signed, Brett M. Favres. Number four. SSN number. He of the 289 consecutive game streak. 313 if you count playoffs. I'll see you later. Green Bay, the Jets, now Minnesota. Right. Bye-bye. Southern Miss.
I mean, Brett Favre is a human being. If you could say you've never sent anything to your loved one right now, raise your hand. Ain't nobody raising their hand. I've never sent a picture. No. I've sent some dirty texts, but never a picture. There's nothing that I'm proud enough to. You've done dirty texts before. No. We can talk about it. Let's talk about it. Old Mikey, even. Old Mikey never did? They didn't have text messaging back then. You're creepier than I thought. No, dude. Because you haven't. Even old Mikey, that seemed kind of weird. Making you nervous. Yeah. Which is weird. I want to rub your body. That's so weird. I can picture you trying it and deleting it.
And then, like, try it again. Well, keep in mind where he met Rebecca as well. Yeah, remember, I didn't flirt. But I didn't flirt. I never said anything. I didn't do the sex meeting. You weren't doing the creepy thing that your buddy taught you to do. Lauren, you did it. I didn't say it. No, I said boring. Oh. I've never done pictures. How about you, Lauren? I don't. Oh. No. Oh, yeah. Santa cutie. What do you guys think? Raise your hand if you think LLB might have sent a picture or two in her day. Look at that. Unanimous. The girl made a clandestine recording in her bathroom singing into earbuds. You're telling me that that same girl never took a drunken picture or two? No, because I was sober. I would be afraid of whose hands it would get into.
All right. Fair enough. Maybe it all depends on what we mean by dirty. Jay? Gross. I don't want to turn his mic off. I can't turn his mic off, right? No, never have. Liar. Not of myself. You took a picture of another person and sent it to your significant other? No. No, but think about it. Jay's been married for 48 years now, right? Coming up on 48. How long have you been married? It's coming up 23 years, October 31st. Right, so when cell phones came out with cameras on them, he'd been married for quite a few years. We've seen it. He's like, yeah, I know what it looks like. I know, exactly. You don't have to send me a picture. Yeah, I don't really need it. I'm fine. Anyway, so that was Diddy's bit with Letterman last night. Let's see if she's out in the... You know she is. No, no, she is. Yes, she is. Eskimo Blue Waters. Ridiculous. Why is it ridiculous? We let you in. We have you. First of all. We're a few minutes late. We're like 17 minutes. We're 17 minutes late. 18 by this clock. 18 minutes late. Just turned, by the way. We told her, what, are you sleeping out in the parking lot? I was. I didn't want all the M1s to come in and take all the spots, so I stayed over last night. Stayed over. It's a five-level parking garage. Well, it fills up.
Wow, Eskimo. Yeah, wow. I thought that you were sleeping in your car because you didn't want M1s sort of mobbing you. For autographs and whatnot. For autographs. And remember, I live out of my car, so every night I sleep there. It's a 10-minute drive from her parents' house in La Jolla. She lives at her parents' house in La Jolla. It's a beautiful house that has an ocean view. I don't live at my parents' house. I sometimes park my car in or around their driveway, and then I sleep in the car. You don't go inside. No, I do sometimes and say, hey guys, I'm just being dynamic out here. Do you shower there? No. Yeah, right. You should. Well, she does. She comes in here. She has meals. She looks great. She doesn't have anything. I shower. I go to the campground. Do you? And I buy tokens. Those are clean clothes that you're wearing right now. Yeah, I wash them in the creek. Eskimo Blue Waters. Creek. Eskimo Blue Waters comes in here. She wears her cowboy hat or dark glasses. Yep. Her cowboy boots. Yep. Fake scuffed. She's got her jeans. Are those? Looks like she scuffed them with sandpaper. Yeah. Are those bleens? Or what are they called? These are jeggings. Jeggings. Yeah. So those are jeans, but they're also leggings. Yeah. Yeah.
You got a problem with that? No, I don't have a problem with it. Okay. What I have a problem with is you saying that you live out of that car just to seem cool. You don't actually live out of that car. You live in a very... It depends on... You live in a multi-million dollar home. It depends on how the month is going, Mike, because sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. Is that right? From your gigs. Right now, I'm sleeping in my car. I'm washing my clothes in the creek. But next month, hopefully I'll be able to stay. Who knows, right? It's all eight or something like that. Isn't it interesting how her story is so similar to Jules? Yes. What? Jewel. Who? Yeah. Gem? So you know what she did? What? She brought her new venture. I did. I was trying to. It smells like feet, by the way. Excuse me? It smells like feet. It smells like nutty. Feet. Yeah, nutty feet. Nutty foot toe jam. Okay, you've smelled a nutty foot before. Come on. No, I'm just putting the two things that I've experienced before together based on the experience that I'm having now with the ice cream. Well, maybe you're smelling Woods' actual feet. Okay. No. Clean. You're becoming an ice cream maker? Yes. Well, I'm here to cater to you. Uh-huh. EskimoBlueWaters.com. Wait a minute. You can't just say that. We've already got them in here, so you can't just rip off. They're here. You rip off everything. She rips off Jewel. Yes. Says she lives out of her car. She's ripped off everybody. She's ripped off everybody. It's not my fault that somebody else, some...
Some hack named Jem lived out of a car, too. Jewel, and you know very well that it's Jewel. Like Grammy winner. K-W-E-B-W dot com. No, it isn't. It's not that at all. It will be. It will be. You're going to go buy that? Go Daddy. Go Daddy. Go Daddy. See? You change the name of it slightly, and you try to claim it as your own. It's a different site. Fine. I know about. What's your ice cream company? Well, it's a fusion. It's a fusion. Yes. It's a fusion of... Regular ice cream, all organic. Yeah, that's weird. And avocado as well. Oh, my gosh. Oh, repugnant. No. Are you trying to be Ben and Jerry's? No, it's... Disgusting. Who's Ben and Jerry? Really? Really? This is... Okay, I only eat all organic, local stuff. Right. I went on a trip to South America. Yeah. It's really big over there. Yeah, in South America. Avocado ice cream. That's disgusting. Yeah, it's not in North America. It's not. It will be. You're going to start the avocado ice cream craze? You're going to start it. I'm going to start it. Because I'm going to have you try it. It's called Icicado cream. I'm not going to eat. No, I'm not eating Icicado. Yeah. You're going to try it. I'm not going to eat Icicado. I'm not going to listen to John Cicada. I'm not going to. We may go to Pizzicado. We might go to Pizzicado, but I'm not eating Icicado. Do you want to know my slogan? What? Do you want to know my slogan? Of course.
From our cow's teat to your table. Isicado. Actually, I have a jingle, too. You have a jingle? Yeah, I'm working on it. From our cow's teat to your table? Yeah. Man. It's a slogan. From our cow's teat. Teat to your table. Teat. It means that there's no other in between junk and business that goes on just straight teat to table. Horrific. So you take the teat. You squeeze the teat. The milk comes out. Why are you being a moron? I'm not. I'm asking. I'm not. You know how it works. You're describing. No, but if that's the slogan, then what she's inferring is that it goes into the bowl from the teat. The milk goes into the bowl. Well, they cream it first. We know that. They have to cream it, don't they? What do I know? I don't watch food shows. What are you talking about? I'm not talking about EBW's avocado ice cream company. You're curious. No, I'm not. That's disgusting.
Try it. I'll try it if Woods tries it. I'm not trying it. I'm not trying it. I got a dip in, so I can't eat anything. I do, too. I have a dip in. You're going to leave me here with melting Isocato cream? It's already melted. It's repugnant. Yeah, it looks like pea soup. It looks like milk with smashed up avocados in it. And sugar. Well, okay, here's the thing. This is a prototype. Oh, my God. I didn't have time to get right from the teeth, so it's just some Vons ice cream. Avocado in it. I didn't have time. I was in the parking lot. Why don't you call it from Vons to your table? Because this is just a prototype, Mike. It's not going to stay. So you bought vanilla ice cream and you put chunks of avocado in it. Vanilla bean. Vanilla. Yeah.
You bought vanilla bean? Yeah, I bought it at like 8 o'clock last night. And I slept in the stupid parking lot. And I've been keeping it on ice in my igloo, in my trunk. Oh my gosh. So it's not exactly, but just try it. I'm not going to try it. Yeah, I'm not going to try it. You know what? What's your jingle? Yeah, let me hear the jingle. What's the jingle? Okay. Here we go. Go ahead. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Oh, wow. Icicado cream. What? What? You don't like it? What? Why is that funny? Because I just accused you of ripping everybody off and you said, I don't rip everybody off. Baby, let's hear it again. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Icicado cream. I changed my voice a little bit. It's the McDonald's jingle. What? I don't eat McDonald's. You don't know ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm loving it. You don't know that? I've never heard that. You've never heard that in your life. Imagine that. Well, I'm out of here. I know you are. We're not going to. If you are on hold right now to play Radio Charades, we're sorry to keep you waiting, but we will play. Plus, we have breaking news out of New York City. Is this a potential terrorist attack? We'll tell you when we get back. LB does a pretty good Alicia Keys thing. Imitation? Yeah. How many times do you sing Alicia Keys in your car? Like every time it comes on. Every time it comes on. I think we all do.
Never comes on in my car. Yeah, mine either. Oh, cut it out, you two. You cut it out. So this isn't good to you? No, it's pretty good. I just wouldn't, like, if I ran across it, I wouldn't be like, ooh, yeah. Really? Yeah, I'd be listening to the new Arcade Fire. Yes. You're such a D. That is, oh my gosh. New Band of Horses to Interpol. Hipster. That, yeah. I'd be listening to the new Band of Horses. Yeah. Would you? Yeah. Interpol. I have listened to the new Band of Horses. It's really good. And Interpol. And Alicia Keys. New Weezer, maybe. Dr. Dog. Yeah. And Dr. Dog. Woods sold on that one. Woods goes on to websites and he types in, bands that will make me look cool. Whereas I will listen to Miley Cyrus because I just enjoy the sound of it in my ears. I know you do. There's a whole website. The site is called bands that will make me look cool dot com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You heard the new Interpol? No. That's a big surprise. You plebeian idiot. Moron. Bet you've heard the new Justin Bieber, though, haven't you? Bet you're jamming that in your car. YouTube watcher. Idiot. Engine worker. VH1 lover. Corporate Americaner. Sellout. Cubicle worker. Desk man. Tattoo remover. Internet browser. MP3 burner. I would be listening to the new Arcade Fire on vinyl.
In my car? Yeah. I bring a record player with me. That's how cool he is. Because the audio quality is so much better. Yeah, and you know, I mean, iPod, MP3, I mean, come on. Vinyl's where it's at. You would be listening to it on a record player in your Prius. Yes. Blasting an American spirit cigarette. Blasting an American spirit. No, not a Prius. Prius is too cool now. What would it be? Too mainstream. An old truck. Yeah, an old truck. A truck that you found. I found it. Yeah, you found a truck. He restored it. Yeah, you found a truck in the forest. When you were researching, you wanted to go and see where Into the Wild actually happened. And live a little bit of it. He drove that bus out. Yeah, he drives the bus from Into the Wild. And John Krakauer signed the bus. Yes. So you know it's cool. Yeah. I smoked John Krakauer. I actually smoked him. Don't do it, dude. I needed some dirt on my... I'm not about blackmail. I hate it. You love it. I hate it. No, you don't. I hate it. Every day when you leave here, you sing it in your head. You guys have me cracking up all the time. Thank you.
Let's play radio charades. On the line is M1 Don from Marietta. How are you, Don? Don, are you still with me? Don. There you go. It's John. Yeah. John? Yeah, I've been here for 30 minutes. Yeah, I've been here since Tuesday, Mike. Maybe I slit your throat. Maybe I'm picking my cell bill next time. Yeah. Maybe you send me a check for $400 for the phone bill. It's 45 cents a minute, pal. Yeah. Well, thank you for holding. We appreciate it. And are you ready to do a little radio charades with us? Yeah. Okay, the way that it works is I'm going to have 60 seconds. It's always movies. All right? The charades are always movies. And I'm going to have 60 seconds to be able to describe this movie to you. What is very important for you to remember, John. It's John, right? Yeah. What's very important for you to remember, John, is that you must yell out the movie as soon as you think you know what the movie is.
Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay, cool. You'll have 60 seconds. Woods is going to be the one doing this for me. I will be your eyes for radio charades. And here we go. One word. I'm tapping my arm. I'm tapping my chest. I'm tapping baseball. Standing at attention. Standing heart. Heart. Heart. The word is heart. It's one word, though. So the movie's heart. Heart? Heart screaming. Heart screaming. He's charging. He's excited. He's very courageous. He's very... Yes. Oh, Woods is not liking this. He is not... Syllable? Oh, it's two... I didn't know that. Two syllables. Two syllables? I didn't know you could do that. Two syllables. Two syllables. Two. Two. Two. My arm. My arm. My arm, Mike. Two. Over. Second.
Second, heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Braveheart. Braveheart. Braveheart. Braveheart. Braveheart. Braveheart. Oh, you know why that's tough is because it seems like two words, but it's actually one word? It's one word. Right, and that's what he was trying to say. It's two syllables. Right. I didn't know that meant syllables. I didn't know that meant syllables. That's words. Like, that's words. Yeah. The arm tap is syllables. Who knew? I didn't know that. I got to give him a prize because that was more my fault than the caller's fault. And how do you act out brave? Yeah. He said courage. He said courage. Right. You could have gone, roll that. He said courage? Yeah, he did. When you were banging your head against the wall. I'm going to give you a prize there, though, John, okay? I'm going to give him the Jonna X Hex movie from Cox. There you go. We'll let you win that. Hang on a line. Next up is M1. Is it M1, Ben? Dan. Ben from San Diego. Dan. Dan? Yeah, Dan. Dan. Poor Chris is having a hard time with the names today. All right. LOB is going to be doing the charade for you today, okay? All right. All right. And we'll have 60 seconds. Like I said, as soon as you know it, yell it out, okay? All right.
You'll have 60 seconds, and here we go. Three words. The second word. Oh, crying, crying. Okay, the second word is crying. The crying game. Holy cow, that was awesome. That's how it's done, folks. Very nice. Hang on the line. Do we only have two? No, we can do it again. This one's going to be for the Jonah Hex package to Cox DVR on demand thing. Wow. Okay. I read real well over here. That's right. Well said. Okay, here we go. I need to redeem myself. Next up is M1 Larry from La Mesa. Are you there, Larry? I am here. Okay, Woods is going to be your guy, and you'll have 60 seconds. Oh, boy. Oh, gosh. Looks hard. Looks like it's going to be hard. All right, buddy. As soon as you know it, yell it out. We're mind-melding on this one, okay? Okay. Here we go. Four words. First word. Smelling. Smell. Smell. Scent. Scent. Scent of a woman. Yeah, baby! Very nice. Very nice. As soon as he did the smell, it was real good. Hang on the line, Larry. I like it. That went okay. That was amazing. Yeah. I had no idea where you were going to go with that. Oh, boy. It makes my heart race. It does. Me too.
570-194-9 is our number. Some things that I've wanted to get to for a long time we have not been able to get to that I want to tell you about. You can trade in your old iPod, they're saying, for up to $100. That's a lot. $100 for an old iPod? Why? Yeah, Toys R Us will offer customers up to $100 for each old iPod they bring into stores. They can put those funds towards the purchase of a new iPod or iPod Touch. And it starts Sunday, October 17th. It runs through October 23rd. That's pretty rad. Only at Toys R Us? It looks like only at Toys R Us. I didn't even know they had iPods. Nor did I. I guess you can buy iPods in the airport now. You can probably buy them at Toys R Us. And they say that it'll go towards a what? Or a what? You can purchase a new iPod or iPod Touch. I'd like to get a new iPod. Mine is old, old, old. Weird, weird, weird, weird. Mine's cool. It's got video and radio. Yeah, those are awesome. Kim just got the iTouch iPod. Do you like it? It's amazing. It's so amazing. How old is your iPod? I got it when I bought my Mac. I bought the new one, and it's already broken. It's got a line that goes across the screen. It's perfect. So that one that you did have that had a shattered screen.
that I had seen in your car. That's not there anymore? No, I don't have it. I have it, but I don't use it because I have the new one. Maybe I will. Do you just throw baseballs at your iPods? What happened to that? I left it out in the sun and in the heat and left it in the car in Texas. It'll crack it up real good. I have a Generation 1 iPod that I replaced the batteries in. The big, fat, thick one? The big, fat, thick one. But I have another one. I have a new one, too. Okay. Fran Trescher. Why is Fran Trescher saying that? Why now? Why is she saying that her husband is gay? Her ex-husband. Well, because he was gay. I know, but why now is she saying? They met when they were 15, and they were just kids. They didn't know who they truly were. They went through a lot together, and they're still good friends, Mike, and he is a gay man. And I wonder why she's decided now to tell everyone. Because they are divorcing after 21 years of marriage. Okay, so maybe she's a little upset. Obviously, his search took a while.
And I'm frankly not surprised if you're married to Fran Drescher. I think she's gorgeous. Oh, get it. She's the nanny voice or whatever. Forget it. Let's see. There was a drill bit that was accidentally, and this can happen, accidents happen. There was a drill bit piece that was accidentally left in a patient's head at the hospital. Yeah, it was used during a procedure. It broke off. It was not accounted for at the end of the procedure, which is required. They need to make sure that everything, you know, that they bring into surgery comes out of surgery. And it was identified through, like, an x-ray. And, yeah, they left a piece of this bit in this guy's head. Oh, my gosh. When my wife had our twins, they were concerned they left a sponge in her. Oh, my gosh. In her belly. Did they open her back up? No, they took an x-ray and said, no, we didn't. You're good. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. That'd kill you. Yeah. Yep. Let's see. Why are people against the mayor of Encinitas and calling for his resignation? And is that the same guy that we talked to? Dan. Dan Dallager. Yep. Dan. There was about 100 people.
that lined up out front of the city council's meeting, and here's a quote. It's ridiculous what you've done. You need to step down. If you get elected again, we're going to recall you. What's the issue? Well, basically, their big beef is that he did not disclose a $100,000 private loan he took in 2007, and they're mad about that. Really? Yeah. I don't understand. Sounds politically driven. Yeah. I don't like that stuff. I don't like the mudslinging. That's what seems like it is to me. To me, it looks like a leprechaun to me. Yeah, me too. Who was... Don't mention names. Who was your worst boss? Why? Don't mention names. Just give me a first name. My worst boss. Oh, easy. Alan. What was the deal? He's a punk. He's just mean to you? He's punk. He's the one I quit after I... Remember I told that story in the air that I was... It was the end of the month, and we were behind quota, and I was like, I took the reins and said, hey, guys, we're going to sit in today. We're going to make calls during lunch. I'll get lunch for everybody. I'll pay for it. You guys can pay me back. Right. So I took everybody's order, ordered it, went and picked it up, and as I was walking to pick it up, I heard him say, quote, that MF-er hasn't done one lick of work today. And I stopped in my tracks, and I walked over to where he sat, and he's about three foot six anyway. And I leaned down. I was like, what did you say?
And he was stuttering like a fool. And I go, you know what, pal? I don't need to work for you anymore. You're a piece of ass. And I'm out. You said that? Oh, yeah. And I walked. I said, F you. You're a piece of ass. See ya. Wow. Kid's a little hothead. A little bit. Don't run mouth about me when I'm not there. Little midget. You're talking to me, right? No, I'm not talking to you. Give him a smack. L-O-B. I had a couple of them that were all in the restaurant industry. What made him bad? Real hotheads. They would flip out, curse at you, everything. And then one guy was, he was from Italy and he was a big chauvinist. But probably the worst one was this woman. She was a lesbian. That's not really relevant to the story. You're just letting us know. But she used to just be like, I quit after two days because I would come and she'd be like, what do you think you're doing working at a counter? You sweep. You get, like, I was trying to work at this pizza place, and I was trying to wait tables, and she's like, no, you don't pick up a tray until you start sweeping. Oh, wow. It's awful. Yeah, she was really mean. Jay? I was a commercial diver for a year, and every time I'd get called out for this job, this one lead diver would call me to go with him. He hated me, but he'd make me go on every single job with him, so he'd wake me up at 3 a.m. to start wrapping hoses and stuff. I was like, go work, boy. This seems like such a hard job. It was awful.
Oh, terrible. Big money. What about you? Mine was a guy named Pat. He was a program director. Him and another guy, genius. But Pat was pretty bad and once told me that I, quote, sounded like dog ass on the air. Oh, my gosh. That's a quote. That is so mean. That's terrible, dude. I thought it was mean. And they were trying to withhold. my check. Of course. And the reason they were trying to withhold my check was because I would use the request line to call home, which was in Gilroy. And at the time I worked in Salinas. Well, I guess it ran up a phone bill. And so they withheld my check. And I told them, I didn't know. I didn't know. I thought it was a local. I did. I thought it was a local call. And no, excuse me. I was getting calls and talking on this line.
And I guess they got charged for it. So they held my check. Wow. And I don't remember who it was, but somebody suggested to me, you call this number, they're called OSHA, and they can't do that. Yep. So I did, and the guy had to give me the check, and oh my goodness, he was really, really upset. Was he hot, Matt? Oh, he was hot, hot, hot, Matt. I've had plenty of turd bosses. I mean, you know, I'm kind of a turd myself, so two turds together doesn't always mesh well. It doesn't. Fair enough. Let's see. We've done half of these. What fictitional character would you adopt into your extended family to make gatherings more interesting? Fictitional character? The wolf from Pulp Fiction, Harvey Keitel. Really? Yeah. Easy. You love that guy. Love that guy. If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. Okay? L.O.B.? Sugar on top. Maybe Peter Griffin, even though he's a cartoon. Yeah, that's where I was going, too. Who is that? From Family Guy. Oh. Because he'd always be doing stupid stuff. Or maybe Stewie. You had the same thing? Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny. Oh, yeah. Jay, it's so strange. It almost sounded like you said Bugs Bunny. Yeah, you said fictional. I know, but wow, Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny always annoyed the crap out of me. Not Donald Duck, though. What's up, Doc? That's pretty good. I would like to interview Fonzie.
I don't mean Henry Winkler. The character of Fonzie. I mean Fonzie. And what I'd like to know is I'd like to know about his interpersonal self. What about his sexual prowess? I want to know what the last thing Fonzie cried about was. Would you lean over to him, put your chin in your hands and go, what are you thinking? What was Leather Tuscadero really like? What about Pinky? Yeah, what was Pinky? I would do... The same kind of interview that Bryant Gumbel does. I would wear glasses and I'd have a clipboard in front of me and I would make fake notes like Bryant Gumbel does. You'd have to cross your legs too. I'd cross my legs. You know Bryant Gumbel's not writing anything wrong. He writes fake bits down. He's got the legs crossed. He sits in front. He's got the glasses on. And as the person's talking, he's pretending to make a note. And then at a particular time.
He will take his glasses off in the middle of a question. So if I were interviewing Fonzie, I could go, Fonz, I noticed that at one point in your life, you were quoted as saying that you considered going in to be one of men of the cloth and that you actually considered going away to seminary. Why? Take the glasses off at the same time. At the same time that you say why, you take the glasses off. That was his bit. How about this? It's your favorite. Did you know I have audio of Obama saying something that he can say because he's black? But as we listen to it, ask yourself, if President Bush had said this...
Would it be today's top headline? Woodsy, what's going on in New York City? They have said that there are a couple of suspicious packages on either end of the Brooklyn Bridge. The Brooklyn Bridge has been shut down. Both directions. Both directions, yeah. So there's one package suspicious on one side of the Brooklyn Bridge heading one direction and another one in the other direction. Correct. And they don't know what or why or whom yet, but we will keep you abreast. But the Brooklyn Bridge is evacuated, empty, not being used at all. Play of that audio of what Obama said next. Make some noise in here with a live studio audience. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Cheap trick. Album is in color, and that's tonight's 8 o'clock album. The word of the day is intrusion. Has not been said yet. When you hear me say the word intrusion, you need to be caller number 9-570-1949. I'll weave it into a sentence and you'll get a $236 prize pack from SeaWorld, which would be great. Love M1 Meat Freak. This guy is a super fan. Yep. And Meat Freak, you got to come over to the microphone. Let me turn this mic up. Woodsy, can you help him with this mic? Happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on over. So Meat Freak is a...
Super fan. Shaved his head. Made a fake goatee. Yes. Out of his, the head on his hair. Out of the hair that he cut off of his head when he shaved his head. Used that to make a fake Mikey goatee. I did it on Impulse last night, too. It's fantastic. He's wearing a t-shirt that says Man vs. Wild. How much hashish did you smoke last night? He's got on, he's got on, he drew tattoos on. Yeah. And the whole bit. How long did this take? Well, it was like 12 last night. I had a Bible study last night. We all went out to eat Chipotle and came back, and we're all excited about going on the show. And then I was like, you know what? I got to do something a little bit extreme. And I decided just to shave my whole head off. So great. Mission accomplished, pal. My wife was really, really, really against the whole idea. I was like, don't worry. It'll look good. It'll look fine. Because what was your hair like before? Well, it was pretty long, like super long. Shiny. I don't know, to the point of where it was almost like an afro. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah, beautiful hair. It's pretty bad. So my wife loves my long hair, too. And so I was like, don't worry. It looks fine. It'll look good. I'll just put a hat over it if it doesn't look good. And I shave it off. And she says to me, she's like, it looks worse than the way I thought. You're like, hey, babe, what's more important? What you like or the Mikey show? I mean, I think that we've, you know. Meat Freak is the one who made the bologna shirt. She loves the show, too.
In bed. She fell asleep like 4 a.m. last night. Look at the hairs that are gathering on his shirt. Yes, he's got hairs gathering on his shirt that were cut off from his head that he's now using as a goatee. How did you get the goatee to work? I have a hair glue that I usually use for my hair. I was going to use super glue, but I was like, that would be a terrible idea. Right, yeah, that would be bad. So I put the hair glue on my face and then just dabble it on. It kind of looks like if you've seen, what's the movie, Jackass 2. Yeah. The guy with the... Oh, yeah. I thought he was going to say the crying game. It kind of looks a little bit like that. That's what it reminded me of. The beard of hair from your nether regions. They did a beard of that. Oh, yeah. And it's freaking disgust. Dang. I threw up my mouth. That's horrific. It's horrific. It's horrific. I'm glad that those are not hopefully that. Next week on the Mikey Show. Yeah. Well, we got to take a picture together later. I mean, it's truly. Make sure to rest your chin on his head when you guys take that picture. Oh, boy. If you could. Oh, boy. Well, thank you, man. No problem. Thank you for doing it. It's pretty spectacular. It's amazing. Okay, so Obama.
You can't really hear this that great. You know, it's kind of the audio is somebody recorded him saying this. But take a listen. Media's changing so rapidly that more websites, what you guys do every day, do two things. Number one, it allows us to reach audiences that may not be watching the press. Now, he's talking to a black audience. And what he's saying is black people don't watch Meet the Press. Yeah. Okay. Now, if George W. Wait a second. Were they a certain age group in addition to also being black? No. No.
Yes. Do white people watch Meet the Press? I don't know. I don't watch it. Mexicans do because I watch it. You do? Yeah. Weird. I don't watch it very often. Explains it. I don't watch it very often. Big time me. I watch it once. Meet the Press. I've never seen it in my life. I watch it at least once a year. At least. When you can't find the remote and you want to get to man versus food. Something. Something. Or the baby channel. Or the baby channel. In Spanish. In Spanish. 570-1949 is our phone number. GW would have been killed for that, by the way. Yeah, killed. Sure. Of course. Now, y'all don't watch Meet the Press, right? Would you like to play a little TomTom tunes? Of course. If you would, call us right now, 570-1949. We have a GPS device called the TomTom, and she talks. It was my old TomTom, and I really don't use her anymore, so she kind of sits in the... You know, compartment of my suburban. Nobody owns me, Mikey. Nobody owns her. That's true. I bought her. I've got lunch for four at Carl's Jr. for our winners. There you go. 570-1949. I paid for her. That's not the first time you've said that. Fair enough. Technically, that means, you know, Tom Tom, girl, he paid for you? Yeah. He purchased me at the store, Mikey. Okay, it's different. I guess it's different, right? I paid for it. 570-1949.
M1, Audi from Bay Park. Are you there? Audi from Bay Park. There we go. Audi. Audi? Audi. In fairness to Chris, by the way, just a small, tiny rabbit hole. He hasn't eaten in five days. Five days. Five days. Get in here, Chris. Sorry, Audi. How would you spell Audi, though? Audi, hold on a minute. Okay. I'd have spelled it the same way. I'd have spelled it like he spelled it. Absolutely. Five days. Haven't eaten in five days. No, I'm doing the master cleanse. Is this mean? Oh, what? That's terrible. Woods is holding. Okay, now he's taking the top off of delicious food. He's doing this. This is not cool. This is terrible. It's terrible. So you're doing the what? The master cleanse. He's wafting. Woods is wafting pasta. Wafting. Wafting. Wafting.
The master cleanse. Yeah, what you do is that you still consume something. He can't speak. He can't speak, dude. The pen that he's holding falls out of his hand. It's a lemonade mixture. I can do this. I can do this. It's a lemonade mixture with lemon juice. It's not exactly lemonade. Maple syrup. And cayenne pepper with water. How much longer? Five more days. I'm doing this for 10 days. He's already lost three pounds. Three? Well worth it. If I fast for a day, I better drop 25 pounds one day. Wait, it's supposed to get all the bad stuff out of you. It's supposed to make you feel better at the end. Wait, five days you've been doing this? Five days. And you've lost three pounds? Yeah. Oh, wow. I've been drinking a lot of water. Oh, wow. You drink a lot of water. A lot of water, too. What's that stuff taste like? It burned at first. It burned bad. But now I kind of got used to the burden. I kind of liked it. Now it looks like a ribeye when you look at it. You're like, delicious. Now it tastes sweet. It just goes down smoothly. So at the end of this thing, you're supposed to feel great. Feel great. Supposedly you're supposed to lose 10 pounds too.
And you're supposed to be able to see through glass. Right. Dude. You can already see through glass, Mike. 10 pounds in 10 days. To not eat for 10 days is not worth it. Well, he's still eating. He's drinking. But he's not eating. He's not fasting. Does it burn when you... No. No. Can I turn J's... Come on, you got to relax. Don't force it. It's going to blow out your old ring. Ouch. Ow, man. That's pretty hardcore. I'm doing it. I'm actually sticking to it, which is cool. What's that like? You ever try stuff, start stuff, and then never finish it? What's that? I do. P99. Easy. P99. It's the worst. P90X? P9X. P9X. P3X. P3X. Smoking cigarettes? Three of the hardest days. Those are three of the hardest days of my life. Thank you, Chris. No problem. I'm feeling great. That's good. Those are the phones, right?
That's what I do? Miceo. Miceo. What is it calling about? Dude. Okay, hold on. I'm out there sucking down toffee bars in front of him, like drinking, and he's like, I didn't mean to, didn't I? Didn't you? I had four of those cupcakes. I had six toffee bars so far. M1 Audie. Audie, how do you spell your name? I-E. Audie. Audie. Of course. There you go. Like spelling bee. All right, Audie. What we're going to do is we're going to give you 30 seconds or less to listen to these lyrics, but they're not easy because they're being read by a TomTom navigation device. Okay. All we need is title or artist for you to win. Here we go. A decade ago, I never thought I would be at 23 on the verge of spontaneous combustion. Woe is me. Thank you, man.
Yeah! Wow! That is right! Good job, dude. Yeah, very nice work. Hang on the line, please. That's Audie. M1, Milo from Chula Vista. Good, man. How you doing? It's Milo, Mikey. Milo. Milo, are you ready to play? All right, you got 30 seconds, unless you can get it before that. I need title or artist for you to win. TomTomGirl, go ahead. Oh, yeah, life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone. Say, oh, yeah, life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone. Now rock on. Jackie sits back, reflects his thoughts for the moment, scratches his head and does his best, James Dean. Can you give me title or artist for the win on that, Milo?
Sure. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, pal. Can you tell she's mine? Yeah, absolutely. We say happy birthday when somebody just wants something real good. And you're just like, yeah, sure, dude. Happy birthday. Yeah, Benihana for lunch. Happy birthday. Yeah, you got a room full of 12 friends and one guy's like, let's go to Benihana. Oh, sure. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, buddy. No problem. Go ahead. Go ahead, L.O.B. Oh, yeah, life goes on. I mean Tom Tom. Who is L.O.B.? Sorry. I'm over here. Yeah, you're just standing there. You're not even doing anything. Oh, yeah, life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone. Say, oh, yeah, life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone. Now, rock on. Jackie sits back, reflects his thoughts for the moment. Scratches his hat and does his best James Dean. Can you give me title or artist for the win? I have no idea. Yeah, good thing we did it again, pal. I'm going to need it one more time. Why don't you give it to me? Let me hear it two more times. Slower and slower. Slower. Two more times. Have words read it. Yeah. And then he's like, is that, that's Boston, right? Could you just sing it for me? Yeah.
Yeah, instead of doing it in the TomTom voice, can you do it? Can you play the record? Play the clip. Just play the record. You've got it right there. Just play the record. Yeah, there you go. Some words she says. Kill me. I almost die. There was a baseball player who used to play center field for the Yankees. They're magic, you know. M1 Scott from Temecula. All right. That's who it was. You got it, Mel. That's who it was. All right, so you've got 30 seconds or less. Title or artist to win. Here we go. Some people call me the space cowboy. Some people call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice because I speak of the pompadus of love. People talk about me, baby, say I am doing you wrong. But do not you worry, baby, do not worry because I am right here at home. Can you give me title or artist for the win? M1 Scott. Some people call me a space cowboy. You got this. Yeah. That's Sting Dong Sing Along. Yeah. All you need to do is tell me the name of the song or who sings it. That's not the name of the song. Do you know who sings it? It's Space Cowboy. Yeah. Space Cowboy. Some people call me. Some people call me. Maurice. Maurice. Is it Maurice, Mike? For the win. Maurice. Maurice.
Some people call me Maurice. Do you know who sings it, bro? Come on. You got this. No, I'll give it to you. You basically knew it. It was the Joker from Steve Miller. Homer Simpson, he said. It's the Gangster of Love. Some people. That's it. Is it Maurice, Mike? Is the song Maurice? Hang on the line, bro. I'm going to let you be a winner. Did you know that Steve Miller made up the word pompatous? He did? Yeah. Wow. For real? Yeah, because I was getting my lyrics last night, and I was spell-checking it. I'm like, I always sang it, but I don't know what pompatous means. So I Wikipedia-ed it. It's just a nonsensical word that he just put into the song. That's cool. He put into a couple of his songs, I think.
That's pretty cool. He went to a private school in Dallas. There had been three people kicked out of that school. You know who they were? Owen Wilson, Steve Miller, and Luke Wilson. Wow. Why were the Wilson brothers? Because they were drug addicts. Really? Crazy dudes. Really? I did not know. The fourth unmentioned is Steve Woods. That's right. That's right. What's the word around the campfire? That's right. Steve. I'm sure somebody will prove me wrong. Weird. You like it when you go to get your Ph.C.? I got a Ph.C. yesterday. They say, Steve. No, they don't. They don't? They know me. You like it when they shorten your name? Nobody really calls me that, ever. No? No. My wife calls me Steven. But when people go, hey, Steve, I'm like, oh. Yeah. Is it appropriate to shorten somebody's name if they don't go by that? I do it all the time. I do. I do it as a joke. I got so much trouble. When Finn was young, he played soccer. And one of the kid's names was, I'm going to change it here. What? William. And I called him Will. And the guy, the kid's dad was like, he doesn't know who you're talking to. He goes by William. Oh, wow. I was like, what? You ever fool yourself real good? Yeah. You ever trying to be classy? He looks right at me and says, what? He doesn't know. He doesn't know who you're talking to. You ever take yourself a little seriously? You ever take yourself too seriously? Yeah. Well, I have it the other direction. My wife, when we first started dating, wanted to call me Michael. Oh.
I've always been Mike. Well, your real name is, of course, Miguel. Really? Exactly. And you're like, listen, you can just call me Mike. You can't call me Miguel. My real name is Miguel. Michael. I said, yeah. I go, no, I'm not Michael. She goes, why can't I call you that? It's so sexy. She goes, isn't that your real name? Only when you're in trouble. I said, it is my real name. It is the thing that's on my birth certificate. But the only Michaels that I've ever known that have gone by Michael are their... Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. Michael Jordan. Who? What? I have a weird... This is weird. Yet, when you started your radio career...
You decided that I'm not going to be Mike. I was going to be Michael. You were going to be Michael Shannon. Did you decide that? I don't. Well, I decided on the Michael. I was going to be Michael Esparza. And my black program director said, hey, man, can we talk about that? And I said, my name? And he goes, yeah, let's talk about that. Why don't you change it? I got a name, man. What about Michael? Shannon. And I said, no, I like Michael Esparza. Since that's my name. Yeah. I don't think we should use that. Not on smooth jazz. No. Just didn't fly as well as Michael Shannon did. Wow. So there I was, morbidly obese. Tortoise shell fake glasses. Tortoise shell faux glasses. Suspenders. Parachute pants. Parachute pants. Big cut in the front of your head. Beret. No, I...
I did wear parachute pants. Of course you did. Made from a real parachute. Two parachutes. Rerun. I would kill to see that. Hey everybody, it's Michael Shannon on... Michael Shannon in the morning. That was the bit though. The program director would change your name no matter what. Because that was J.C. Daly on Power 104. Holy crap. What? J.C. Daly? And it was a Power 104 KRB San Diego's Rocksteen. Really? Yeah. J.C. Daly. J.C. Daly. J.C. Daly. Yeah. Hey, everybody talk like this. It's Michael Shannon here on K-Wave 97 FM. And next hour, we're going to be giving away a signature bottle of Chardonnay that we just got from the wine festival in Monterey.
And it's actually going to be signed. Oh, man. That's your worst you've ever done. I didn't know. I didn't know. That's your worst you've ever done. I know. I didn't know. You cannot talk over the lyrics. I mean, never. Didn't know that song. Okay, let me do one that I know. Do one you know. Hit that post, man. I want you to hit it real good. And hit the post. I have to see how long this is. That's... You're losing your touch. No, no, no. I didn't know it. Wait. You've slipped. Okay. I didn't know it. Here we go. You ready? K-Wave 97 FM, Michael Shannon. And I just want to let everybody know that we're going to be giving away a signature bottle of Chardonnay next hour. You've got to listen for it. Little hollow notes for you. This is Sarah Smile on K-Wave 97 FM. Wow. Nice. Very nice. If I know the song, I can do it. I have a question about that, too.
So let's say you walked into work and you needed to know the song because that was, they said, hey man, hit that post. I knew the songs. All of them. Yeah. You didn't walk in, look at the log and go, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I don't know that. No. Really? No. You knew it. You were a master of your craft. Dude, maybe some dudes had to know, you know, if I had heard, if I was familiar with it, a lot of guys had to look on every, it was on every cart. Yeah, a cart looked like an eight track. Right. Okay. And that's what the music was on. And it was typed. Somebody had to have typed it on there for you, and they put how long that intro was. Got it. But to me, it didn't make any difference because I knew the song. As long as I knew it, I didn't need it. Okay, let's do one. I love these. I can do these all day. I've tried it. I'm terrible. L.O.B., have you ever tried it? Yeah, we did it once. We tried once in the air. It was terrible. Try it again. I want to see. Can you do it? No. You want to try? Find some Grateful Dead in there. Talk up the ramp into our commercial break here. Here we go. K-Wave 97 FM. It's Michael Shannon. We're settling into a great looking weekend here throughout the Monterey Bay. And a request for Chicago. This is hard to say. I'm sorry. This is going out to Bill from Sheila. Bill, we hope you enjoy it. And by the way, next hour is your $100 hour on K-Wave 97 FM. That was pretty good though, dude. It was loose. It was pretty good. Terrible.
If I had done that on the air. You'd have been killed. Oh, yeah. I would have beaten myself up the whole way home. You're ashamed of me. That's right. This is a great song. L.O.B. pretends that she doesn't like it. But the truth is. She loves it. She likes it. It's impossible to not like it. Oh, God. Oh, it's impossible. FM 94. KWA 97 FM. This one's going out to L.O.B. from a secret someone. You know who you are. You know who you are out there. Get. This is John Mayer and Heartbreak Warfare. He said to put it out to that crazy little blonde. Let's get wet. Nice. Did you know that Obama just did something on MTV called A Conversation with President Obama? He got asked about cyberbullying and we have his comments. I will every once in a while when my wife is in the shower because we have speakers in there.
I'll start blasting deaf tones just to be funny. And she'll be talking to me, and I pretend that I can't hear her. Are you saying something in there, huh? An intrusion here? Is this an intrusion in any way? That thing's not working. Yeah, it is. Hit the button on the unit behind you. Yes. Oh. There you go. So my wife will say, Babe, can you turn that down, please? Or what? Turn what down? The music. Can you please turn the music down? Honey, I can't hear you. I can't hear what you're saying. It's not funny. Turn the music down, please. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Can you turn it down? It's really loud. Same bit. How many years are you going to do this bit? Honey, I wish that I could hear you, but the Deftones is playing really, really loud. Ha ha ha ha. I did too. That's my first time seeing them tonight. I may cry.
Yeah, he's like a... May means you will. He's hanging it all out there. I guess he did. That's what I do, LLB. That's what I do. 570-1949. M1, Ace from Escondido. What was the word of the day? Missed it, too. Missed it, real good. You are a master weaver. By the way, that was all a fake story just so that I could use the word intrusion. Nice. I would say... Am I being an intrusion? And he got it. He heard it. Look at you. Great job, dude. Hang in line, okay? Thank you. Thank you. I wish that was a real story, though, because that would be really funny. Maybe you do that. I've done similar things when she's, you know, just to do the thing. I'll do a thing where I'll say, you know, the shower will be all foggy, and I'll go, can you wipe it so I can see it, and she'll wipe it, and I'll go, like, down here.
I can't see you. She thinks that's funny. I think that's hysterical. Did Snuff? No. No. Just keep going. Woods just laughed and Snuff fell out of his mouth. That means you got me. That means you got me. That's right. The FM 94.9 8th anniversary bash is going to happen on November 13th. It's a Saturday night at 4th and B. It's going to be downtown. Hold steady. Night marchers. New politics. We added Company of Thieves. And it's going to be really, really awesome. And Jay and me and L.O.B. and Sienna, if she'll do it, will be on stage with the FM 94.9 house band. She's listening right now going, I don't know anything about this. I've never even heard of this thing. What are you talking about? We just have to do backup, Sienna. That's right. So it should be a lot of fun. Okay, so I told you that I was going to play you this Obama thing. So Obama just did something for MTV, and it was called A Conversation with President Obama. Never just hang out on MTV. Oh, boy. So let's listen to what he said. He was asked about cyberbullying. You ever passive-aggressive? Yeah. The law is a powerful thing, but...
The law doesn't always change what's in people's hearts. And so all of us have an obligation to think about how we're treating other people. And what we may think is funny or cute. Say that. No more bullying. No more bullies. No more bullies. We will not. We're not going to take it anymore. We're not going to take it anymore. So as a country, we have come to a point. No, say it. Bang your head. Where bang your head will not... Metal health will drive you mad. Stop giving him those lyrics. I'm quitting anyway. I got a job at Starbucks. So what I want to let people know about what is... I'm a big dumb.
No, Mr. President, he's quitting. Don't listen to him. I'm not quitting. You're quitting. Mr. President, you're quitting. Don't quit on the American people. Don't do that to him. You're not making sense. So remember that we will put an end to this as a country, and I am being impeached. Change it. Say that you like peaches. Sorry, what I meant to say was that I like peaches. She don't use jelly. Who doesn't like peaches and cream? She don't use jelly. She don't use jelly and... I love the flaming lips. I love the flaming lips. Take that back. Take it back. Sorry, I'm... Straight out of Compton. Take it back. I'm straight out of Compton. A crazy MF-er named Ice Cube. A crazy MF-er named Ice Cube. From the gang... What is going on? I tried to tell you this. I tried to tell you this. From the gang called Inns With Attitude. These are the types of lyrics... That are definitely behind. Explicit. Explicit. These are the type of explicit lyrics that are behind cyberbullying. You're hoping to ban. That I am hoping to ban. There's a lady who's sure. And there is a lady who's sure. All that glitters is gold. All that glitters is gold. And she's buying a stairway to heaven. And she's buying a steroid to heaven. Go back to the bullies. Bullies in this country are something that we will.
Stomp out. No, you will not take no for an answer. And I will not take no for an answer. Thank you very much. Sorry. Sorry. It's been a long time since I've rock and rolled. It's been a long time since I've rock and rolled. It's been a long time since I did the stroll. And dude looked like a lady. It's been a long time since I did the stroll and dude looked like a lady. Let me get back. Let me get back. Let me get back to the place where I come from. Yeah, for sure. Just say it. How about get back to where you once belonged? Let me get back. Let me get back. Let me get back. Holy cow. Get back to where you once belonged. Get back to where you once belonged. And I'm out. JoJo was a man who thought he was a woman. Yes. JoJo was a man who thought he was a woman? Thank you. Thank you very much. I love Interpol. Thank you very much. Muse.
I love Muse. Muse. Just say Muse three or four times as loud as you can. Muse. Yell it quickly. You're running out of time. Muse. Muse. Muse. Philly. Philly. Detroit. Philly. Detroit. Seattle. Seattle. Seattle. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Scott Shannon. Scott Shannon. We'll see you later and good night from the White House. Wow. That's my favorite time we've ever done Obama. No question. Can you imagine him saying, straight out of Compton, the crazy MF-er named Ice Cube? MF-er. Oh, wow. 570. 194.9. Oh, boy. So, do we know what the deal is? Do we know any more details about the guy that was coming out of the Chilean mine that had the mistress? LOB had a little something on it this morning, a little nugget. I heard a couple weeks ago, the wife... went to the side of the mine, the top of the mine to go and kind of like grieve and just be like, you know, adios mio or whatever it is that she might say. She would say adios mio. Right. And just do some praying and stuff. And while she was there, she saw the mistress and she was like, hi, are you here for one of the miners as well? And who are you here for? And they figured it out. She's like, yeah, she's like, yeah, I'm here to see my, my boyfriend, Waro Rodriguez. And she goes,
Oh my goodness, this is such coincidence. My husband's name is Juaro Rodriguez. Does he have a hair lip? Si, si. Does your boyfriend have a hair lip? Si. ¿Es el mismo? Si. ¿Dónde está la zapatería? Why you want to know that? ¿Dónde está la biblioteca? I thought that they didn't, that the wife didn't go. She didn't to the, okay, this was a couple weeks ago. So then when the big release happened, when all the miners were rescued and everything was on film, then they didn't. You mean when they came out of the hole? Shut up. I'm just saying. Shut up, shut up. The minors came out. He was minor number 21, I think. And the girlfriend was, the mistress was there. The wife was not. I'm sorry. And he gave her a hug and kiss. I'm sorry. Excuse me. Just a minute. Just a minute. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You were saying. What was the last thing you heard? I heard out of the hole. He heard me say that, and that was it. Oh, okay. So, yeah. So, when he was like minor number 21, the cameras were all on him.
What happened when he came out, it was not, his wife was not there. Now, were they saying, here comes the guy that's got the mistress? Yeah, because it had happened a couple weeks before, they found out about it, and then word around the campfire, you know, it got out. So, like, the reporters over there were saying, like, oh, here it is. Comes the mistress, man. The guy's like, you guys, shut up. God, you got to report this? You got to tell on everything I do? Do you ever walk into your house after a miner's just released out of the ground and he's got a mistress and your wife goes, really? He had a mistress. And I go, honey, it was him. It wasn't me. Yeah, yeah. Don't be mad at me. Don't be mad at me because that miner had a mistress. Yeah. Well, last night, you know, we had our growth group and all these people are, somebody brought it up. Not that. Just the sort of the human element and the human spirit and everything that goes on and staying underground for two months and sort of coming out of that experience and all that. And I go, did you guys hear one of those dudes had a mistress? And they were like. But, you know, I mean, it was crazy. I mean, it's a crazy story. That was the big focus.
That guy and then the guy that did, like, the Jersey Shore fist bump when he got out. Yeah. Did you hear about the guy who drilled the hole, too, that he said it was the hardest drill or the hardest hole he'd ever drilled? How did it happen? You know, I don't know if that's part of the story. That's what I want to know. I don't know either. Just most of the shaft must have collapsed. Jay, just being a, shh, Jay, Jay, Jay. It's amazing, though. I mean, we've had so many that, like, the West Virginia and all these miners where tragedy is struck, and it's amazing that they were able to get everybody out of there. Jay. I'm trying to change the subject. He's trying as hard as he can to double entendre things up over there. Yeah, and I'm trying to be heartfelt and talk about the miracle that... For someone having sense of clarity around here. I missed the whole thing. Why? What were you doing? I don't know. Yankees.com? No. What were you doing? It might look like my laptop. No, but what were you doing? Just thinking about stuff. I couldn't hear. Everybody was talking. It was like the view.
But we were all taking turns. I didn't hear what he said. I just assumed it was something creepy. I just tuned it out. I'm afraid I can't let you out of this. No, he wasn't. He was speaking quite clearly. I heard him as clear as day. Where did you go, Woods? Where did you go? Did you hear about this driver that kicked a seven-year-old out of the taxi? Did you hear about that? He was reading his story. I was reading my story. He was doing prep work. Holy cow. When you do nine jobs at once, it's kind of hard to focus all the time. By nine jobs at once, do you mean going home and laying on the couch and pulling a blanket up to your neck? For a little while before I get up and do stories for five hours. Five hours a night. Five extra hours. How dare you? It's tough. Tell me about the seven-year-old. Why did a seven-year-old get kicked out of a cab? So this, in Roosevelt, New York, a driver... It's an island. Okay. A driver for... You're screaming at me. For Valentine's Cab. Mikey and I always get very bitchy on Fridays. Right about this time. East River, right? Roosevelt is an island right in the middle of it. Okay. He was also a president, by the way. Yeah. We're just throwing facts out. Okay. Okay. I thought it was relevant. Was charged with endangering the welfare of a child. He kicked this seven-year-old out of his cab for not having any money. Now, this kid has special needs. The grandmother put him in the cab, and he was supposed to say, you know, hey.
Take him back to this address, which is his residence, where his parents live. The 66-year-old cab driver, Roy Sutherland, asked the boy if he had money for the fare. The child was unable to provide any information. He kicked him out, left him on the street. The grandmother that put him in the car, she put him in the car with no money? No, I think she put him in with money, but he couldn't articulate that he had money. And this guy's like, hey, kid, you got money? And the kid's like, I don't know. Whatever. I can't communicate with you. And he's like, man, great. Get out of the cab. Kicked him out. Left him on a street corner in Freeport by himself and drove away. Oh, wow. He was later arrested and issued a ticket. And he's scheduled to be arraigned on October 25th. That's ridiculous. And I'm sure that judge is going to be real lenient with that kind of thing. I'm sure. Terrible. Light him up. Yeah, no doubt. Terrible. Let's see. What else is going on? T.I., the rapper, talked a guy down from a hotel roof in Atlanta. This was pretty crazy. He helped police persuade a man not to jump off the roof of a high-rise in Midtown Atlanta on Wednesday afternoon. And he was telling the guy how, hey, listen, you know, it's not the end of the world. You can make it through anything. They're saying he happened to be in the right place at the right time. Now, something's come out today that may be a bit.
No. Why are they saying that? Well, T.I. is awaiting sentencing for, I think, a gun charge. I think he was already in jail for it. Well, here's the deal. He was sentenced on charges of unlawfully possessing firearms as a convicted felon. But there's something else that he's up for right now that he's about to go to sentencing for, and they're like, ah, it's a hoax. They're calling it a hoax, so we've got to keep our eyes on that, because I hope it's not. Hopefully that's a true, true deal. We got new movies coming out. And we have a live studio audience in here with us today on a Friday. Back after this. Good news update on the Brooklyn Bridge and what was going on with the Brooklyn Bridge. They had found two suspicious packages on both lanes. Cleared the Brooklyn Bridge. What's the update? Report came in around 9.40 a.m. that it was 9.40 Eastern. That there were two suspicious packages. Well, now they've said that
It was a false alarm. Someone on the walkway saw a flashlight with copper wiring and called 911. And they shut the bridge down, but it is now reopened and no terrorist attack. That's good. That's good. I want to talk about this and give some pub to this because it's a thing that's dear to me. October 23rd, CCC's first annual Oktoberfest. And this is going to benefit autism inclusion from noon to 6 at the PB Women's Club. And if anybody's listening to my show for any length of time, you know that my son Jake has autism. Fastest growing serious development disability in the U.S. It affects one in every 110 kids. Think about that. Yeah. It's a lot. Which, by the way, you know.
There is a my life. There is a reason for that. You know, there is a reason for that. And there was a reason that even Jake, you know, had autism and has autism. Community Coaching Center is a nonprofit organization that provides social and behavioral training to school aged kids with autism. And it's a really cool thing. So I just want to invite people to take part in it. because it's going to be going on October 23rd, and it's happening from noon to 6. Check it out. Very cool thing. And speaking of cool things that are going on, M1 Podcast calling in from Menifee. Are you there? What's going on? You're not supposed to call in for like two months. What are you doing? M1 Podcast, for those of you that don't know, he listens two months behind. He podcasts the show, but he hears things that are happening about two months ago. He'll write stuff on Facebook, and I'm like, I don't even remember when we did that. And he's like, that was the funniest thing ever. Right. So what's going on, podcast? ...today, because I'm hearing you guys talk about patriotism and about, you know, talking about the national anthem, the best and worst that you guys have. Yeah, it was 4th of July, pal. Yeah, that was 4th of July. Yeah, we did that on the 4th of July. Yeah, yeah. So, not in studio? No. No, no, no, M1 Herald here. No, he was, though, about four months ago. Is this real life? Yeah. I know that this is right.
I just wanted to throw my support in behind Sienna and say, hey, I think you had every right to be pissed off at a horrible lady who's calling you out of a banana spot. Yeah. Three months ago. Yeah, three months ago. Maybe she was seven months pregnant. Maybe you get in the DeLorean and you crank up the flux capacitor. Get up to 88. Yeah, get it up to 88. Maybe you join us. Yeah, set the date on that sucker if you can to October 15th and then we'll all be on the same page. 10-14-10. That's right. That wasn't talked about. No. Was not. Was not podcast. Sienna's baby is what? A month old? Yeah. About a month old. Little angel. Oh, she had a baby. She did. Yeah, Sage. How about that? Congratulations to Sienna. Congrats. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Love you guys. Thanks, podcast. That's M1 podcast. So, let's see. A couple other things that I have not hit on yet that I want to let you know about. There's already a book.
In the works for the Chilean miners? There's all kinds of stuff for these guys, man. I'm sure Okra is sending her people down to grab these guys. You get a house. You get a house. That's right. You get a mine. You get a mine. Yeah, you get a mine. You get a mine. Well, there's already been a book that's going to be coming out. It's called 33 Men Buried Alive. Oh, wow. The inside story of the trapped Chilean miners. Wow. Gripping. It's going to be out in early 2011. Maybe they got creative with the title. Could be. The rumors that there was also going to be a movie starring Javier Bardem, who, if you don't know who he is, he was that brilliant man in No Country for Old Men. One of my favorite movies. Claude Van Damme's brother? Yes. Yes. Claude Van Damme and Javier Bardem. The actor's rep tells him there's no truth to this rumor. There's a couple of reality shows in the works. We would probably be dancing with the miners pretty soon. So You Think You Can Mine. Survival Chile. Survivor Chile. Chilean minor idol. The Chilean bachelor. The Chilean bachelorette.
Joe Chile. Chilean. I don't forget. Marry a Chilean. The real Chile. Who wants to marry a Chilean? There's got to be more. Are you smarter than a Chilean miner? Are you smarter than a Chilean miner? The real mistresses. Wow. The real mistresses. The real mistresses. The real mistresses. Did you guys hear about the 425-pound sea lion that was rescued by SeaWorld? They've nicknamed him Oscar. Not a bit. What? Because he's grouchy? Seal's named Oscar. Why is that a bit? I think I've seen that, like cartoon or comic strip. He is. Maybe I'm dreaming right now. My alarm clock's about to go off. He's cute, man. They found him with a fisherman's hook lodged in his side. They released him back into the ocean Thursday morning. But they had rescued the 425-pound marine mammal October 1st and put him back out in his natural habitat. 425 pounds. That guy was eating 21 pounds of fish per day, pal. They nursed him up real good. 21 pounds. Yeah, of fish. I thought fish didn't make you gain that kind of weight. I don't know. He's a big boy. But he's fully recovered and probably will paddle past him today as I surf. You surf today? Yeah, I think so. Looks like beautiful weather for it. Well, you don't worry about it.
Yeah, power through. Yeah, you power through. Sometimes these are the best days. There's nobody out there. Great. No, that's not true. I surfed yesterday. It was a gang. There won't be a glare. That's the good thing. There's no glare, Mike. Yeah, that's what always concerns me when I'm out there surfing is I don't like the glare. Well, you used to come out there, dude. You used to come out. Yeah. I remember that day. Yeah, I did. I did once, and then I got scared. It's scary. Mm-hmm. 570-1949 is our number. Tell me about the hunt for the fugitive sex offenders. What's going on with that? There's this hunt, okay, for these fugitive sex offenders. Continued Thursday as Crime Stoppers released the names of 10 wanted men and asked for the public's help in finding them. Yeah, there's some bad dudes out there running around, man. This guy, Floyd Jonas Jones, Jose Alfredo Robles, both wanted on suspicion of violating the conditions of being a registered sex offender. One convicted of raping a drug-induced person. This is here? Yeah. The other one was convicted for lewd and lascivious acts with a child, and they are offering rewards for these guys. If you know anything, phone them in at 888-580-8477. Their names are Floyd Jonas Jones and Jose Alfredo Robles. There you go. Should we play the Ding Dong Sing-Along and take a quick time out? You want to play the Ding Dong Sing-Along, give us a call, 570-1949. What can we give away as a prize, Jay?
Turn my mic on. Four-pack of lunch for Junior. Oh, boy. Carl's Jr. There you go. Lunch for four. You drinking whiskey out there? Man, there's beer out here. 570-1949. Give us a call, and we will play Ding Dong Sing Along. All you have to do is listen to the song. I'll cut it off real abruptly, and you've got to take over singing. If you can do that, you win. 570-1949. I saw this on College Football, maybe? Yeah. Oh, and dude. You know, like in this part right here, it'll show the quarterback dropping that. Yeah. Looking down the field. He's looking, slinging one into the end zone. Love it. Let it roll for a sec. Oh, never mind. It's later. It's so cool. It's awesome. Can you hear that? Our building, the Booz Allen Hamilton building, is doing a fire drill, but because of federal law, because of federal law,
We're able to stay here because we have to broadcast. I pulled a favor with Mike Boo's, Tara. Yeah, that's Sabrina. Sabrina's our weather girl. She had an affair with Mike Boo? No, I said I pulled a favor. She pulled a favor. I know Mike Boo's. You called in a favor. Right. And said, can the Mikey show stay on? Yeah. Yeah, I was like, oh, my colleagues that I work with are like, oh, stay on the air. And I was like, oh, I'll make sure that I can just stay in the building. She's 21 years old. She's our weather girl. Sounds like she's been drinking all morning. I'm tired. Blow it out last night? I hung out for a little bit, but it's just so early. I woke up at like nine to get here. She goes to UCLA. Nine. That's the worst. Nine. Yeah, she woke up to get here. Yeah. What time did you get up? I got up at 1.30 a.m. You got up at 3.30. Yeah. What? You guys are weird. That's probably when she was rolling in. Sabrina. Yeah. I want you to keep your eyes on me. Okay. What's the weather going to be today?
Every time. She has to look out the window. That's what she doesn't prepare. She doesn't come in here. I woke up at nine, Mike. I'm so tired. Maybe you do research. Yeah, maybe you look up. It's going to be okay. It's fine. Yeah. Fine. It's going to be okay. It's fine. Yeah, it's not raining as far as you know. So it's just, it's fine. Great. Quit freaking out. Big plans this weekend? Well, I'm going to have a little hair of the dog with my girlies after this. We're going to have like mimosas at brunch. Do you have to wear those oversized Jackie Kennedy sunglasses? Well, yeah, especially when I'm tired because I woke up at nine. Yeah. That's not distracting. No, and the flashing light in my face is not at all. It's the worst. You mean the strobe light? The strobe light. I feel like I'm on ecstasy. Yeah. I feel like I should have a pacifier in my mouth with glow sticks and a candy necklace. I feel like... Can you cue up number two? It'll be perfect. If you cue up number two, it'll be perfect. Trust me. No, let's just make it into a rave. Well, you guys want a rave? Everybody? Who wants a rave? Say yeah. Oh, it's killing me. It's killing me. A little rave music. Should Jay turn on his mic so we can hear it? Yeah, listen how loud it is. Listen how loud it is.
You think that's on that guy's resume? Yes. So what are you guys up to? Just hanging out or? Like it says, evacuation guy. They're like, let's do a cut too on that. Yeah, they're like. We like it, but let's do it again. One more time. I think we just want to get a different inflection on elevator. Give it a little more. Do not use the elevator. You mind trying that just one more time? Yeah, what did I do wrong? What do you think I did wrong on that one? It's just I think it would probably be better if you just enunciated a little bit better with elevator. Do not use the elevator. Mikey, I auditioned for that part and they said I had no inflection. All right, so TomTom girl, you ready to give it an audition here for the role of the evacuation girl?
Do not use the elevator. Repeat, do not use the elevator. Let's try that again. This time, I want you to say, please exit in an orderly fashion. Please exit in an orderly fashion. Please exit in an orderly fashion. Hey, Mikey, do you mind if I give it a whirl? Is that you, Dave? Yeah, man. Go ahead. We have Dave Matthews in here from the Dave Matthews band. I hope it's okay that we give everybody a shot. Go ahead, Dave. Do not use the elevator. Do not use the elevator. Yeah, let's try that one more time. I'm going to try a different chord progression. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Let's try it with a different chord progression. You like it fast or slow? That. Just start the audition. Fast or slow? Just try it again with a different chord progression. Do not use the elevator. Repeat. Do not use the elevator. Too sad. Excuse me. Yeah, Susanna, would you like to try it? Do you think that I can just, can I just put my own message out there? Yeah, just do the thing about the elevator. Okay.
Please use the stairs at this point. Repeat. Please use the stairs at this point. Can we have you try that again but take out your retainer? Please use the stairs at this point. Repeat. Please use the stairs at this point. Hey, Michael, do you mind if I give it a verb? Is this, uh, is this Wolfgang? Yes, great. Are you Wolfgang? Yes, I am. Go ahead, Wolfgang. Please do not use the elevators. Repeat. Please do not use the elevators. The word is actually pronounced elevator. Please do not use the elevator, please. Please do not use the elevator. That's a take. That sounds pretty good. That's a wrap. How funny would that be coming over here? Why don't you let me give it a try? Oh, Neil, go ahead. You bunch of hippies. You bunch of dope smoking hippies. Just do the message. Play something for me, dum-dum. Dum-dum-dum. Don't worry, I got it. Oh, really? Takes you too long. Don't have two socks. And that ain't no big surprise. Where the hell's the elevator? Because I'm burning my eyes. Think I smell smoke. But I'm smoking some dopes.
Getting highs. The last part was just a joke. Really do that. Leave that to Steve Woods. Then he goes to the Deftones concert. I got nothing to lose. So I just sing the blues. The elevator. When they evacuate you. Then they really have you. The Chinese gentleman talking on the storm. Talking on the storm? Doesn't make sense. First of all, I just want one shot at it. Of course you do. Is this Judy Douche? Is that right? It's Douche-ay, sir. No, I'm looking at the paperwork. It says Judy Douche. Yeah, that'll work. Go ahead, Miss Douche. Please purchase...
Isocato ice cream. Repeat, please purchase Isocato ice cream. No, no, read what's on the thing. Oh, okay. Please come to my gig at the Bates Nut Farm this Saturday. Repeat, please come to my gig this weekend at the Bates Nut Farm. Thank you. Honey, since we're doing the evacuation deal, I was just wondering if I could give it a shot. Sure. Sure. As you're evacuating the building today, you might want to check out Sandra Rossi, handbags.com. That's Sandra with two N's. Rossi, handbags.com. How are your kids? My kids are wonderful. I have seven children. I'm the mother of seven. Karen, Paul, Jacob, Cynthia, Matthew, wonderful Tina, and Bill. What about Barbara? Barbara is Jacob's nickname.
You heard that a couple of Stevens in there yesterday. That's right. And Steven. He's so wonderful that sometimes I forget him. But I love Steven so. Of course you do. He's such a wonderful boy. Will Steven be smoking dope at the Deftones concert tonight? No. He won't. The reason that he won't is because he is such a good boy. What he does is homework in his spare time. That's good. What a sweet kid. As a matter of fact, the other night he was looking at a website called Sandra Rossi with two N's. Handbags.com. That's Sandra Rossi handbags.com. We got it. Mike, do we have time for one more call from Captain Buzzkill or should we just cut it? I think we have time. We do. He's on the line. Four minutes. Because he's been buzzing. The biggest thing I've ever heard you guys do. Just read the line. I've heard you guys do a lot of stupid things. I know you have. Just play along and read the line. You listen every day. All four hours a day.
Please evacuate the building. That's pretty good. Pretty good. Good job. Are you guys almost done? Almost. Almost. I can't wait until you guys are done with your show. What are you going to do all weekend? Celebrate. Celebrate. Podcast. Are you going to podcast us? I'm going to celebrate because I can't stand you guys, and I wish Jeff and Jared were on the radio. They're not. You know what, Woods? What? I bet you're just going to go home and chew spit. Chew spit. And watch the... Deftone. Yes, I am. Are you going to go to the concert? No. With my beautiful wife, who's like a 10. You're going to watch. Wonderfully big breasted. You're going to watch the Yankees. Yeah, we'll watch the Yankees. Stuff men do. Hang out with their beautiful wives. Because you can't be a man unless you watch sports. Watch football or baseball. Go and see a rock show. Hang out with some buddies coming in. I don't have to be. Probably go surf a little bit. Man stuff. Don't take it then. Yeah, you're right. You don't have to. Stop listening. Hang up. Change the channel.
Have you guys been kicked off the air yet? No. Not yet. Because I've written letters to Mr. Rick R. Jackson. Don't say that. I am saying it. I know what you're going to say. You say it every day. I wrote a letter yesterday to Mr. Rick R. Jackson. Don't. What did it say? Rick R. Jackson. Okay. Said, why don't you just fire those guys? That's way more than two words. That's way more than two words. He's so mad. Jeez Louise. He's so mad all the time. We got to go. 570-1949 is our number. We did not get to the Ding Dong Singalong. So you know what we'll do? We'll make both of them winners. It's huge. Oh, they end the line the whole time. We're doing our bits. Sometimes we get sidetracked. We get sidetracked sometimes. You don't worry about it. What do we got this weekend? What are you guys doing this weekend? You want to promote anything? LLB? I am doing stand-up tonight at around 8.30. Very nice. At Joey's.
Smoking BBQ. There you go. In Carlsbad. What time? Around 8.30. There you go. I'm appearing at Wine Stills. I'll be drinking some wine and eating some cheese. There you go. Nice. I'll be going to Vegas to see the Deftones and Alice in Chains. And if you're at VA House tonight, come say hello. I'll buy you a beer. End of the show on Friday. I tell you my story. I tell you my story in hopes that somebody's hearing it and they can relate to it. When I was... Oh, by the way. I have something that I want to promote this weekend, Sunday. I'm going to be speaking at Ranchland Church in Arby. Would love to see you come out. Ranchland Church in Arby on Sunday. You know, I don't know what I'm going to say when I do my testimony. I know I'm going to tell you my story, but I don't have a plan. So I just go with wherever I feel like I'm led to tell you. Whatever I'm led to tell you about. One thing that I want to make sure that you...
do is check out my website mikeyshow.com and up at the top you'll see the word help and there's a lot of resources that you can use there when i was a little kid five years old i was the victim of sexual abuse i tell you that and i know that there's a lot of people that are listening right now that have a similar story the reason that i tell you is because of what uh that created in me. Sense of shame and sense of guilt. And I didn't tell anybody about it. In fact, I tried to pretend that it didn't happen. I did that for years. I pretended that it didn't happen. When I got into my 20s, I started to drink a lot, do drugs. Never felt good about myself. Always had a terrible self-image. I always felt ugly. 2003, I was completely...
addicted to alcohol. I broke my dad's heart. One time my brother came over and he brought his kids. They were little. One of them was about my son Jake's age. I was drunk. I was stumbling around. And I tried to pick him up and I stumbled. He didn't get hurt. But my brother was furious. I went and I sat in the living room and I was tremendously Embarrassed. I don't know if I've ever told that story on the air. It took a long time for my brother to forgive me. It was that same house that my dad told me that until I stopped drinking, he couldn't have a relationship with me. And then one night I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life. And he did. And he changed me. I talked to a guy yesterday. I said, have there ever been times on the air that you've thought that I sounded like I had wisdom?
And he said, oh, yeah. And I said, dude, that isn't me. I've always been funny. I've always had a sense of humor. I've always had a way with words. But one thing that I have not always been is wise. And I told him, I said, you know what, man? I said, I think I want to make that a part of my testimony. Because it's my story. It's true. God gave me something supernaturally. He took somebody. You know, and I make jokes about it all the time. But if you look at me, man. I am as ordinary a guy as it gets. I'm five foot, six inches tall. And he gave me these abilities. And he gave me all these things once I started to trust him. And I think that he did it so that I could come on the air and I could tell you about it. And if there's anybody listening right now that says, I think maybe you're talking to me.
I think I am. Go to mikeyshow.com and if you click on the word help, there's all kinds of resources that you can find there for addiction, like I've talked about, depression, eating disorders, all that stuff. See, I tell you this story because I want you to know that Jesus Christ changed my life. He changed everything in my life. I just want you to know. And then I play a song at the end of the show that it's got lyrics that are really, really hopeful. And so I hope that you, I hope that you find them to be hopeful. Song is called Tunnel, and it's by a band called Third Day. And this song meant so much to me the first time I heard it, and hopefully it does for you too. Lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next, and we'll see you again on Monday. Mikey shows out. Later.