The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/18/11
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
studio lightsChris membershipscarf seasonfake lunchKehlani's dessertJay's laugh soundboardCraigslist fearseBay confusionyou say it I listen bitInside Job documentaryOccupy San Diegobank withdrawal idea
The show opened with Mikey welcoming Chris as an official member while joking about the strange lights and Woods' slingshot attack on Christmas decorations (P0). Later, Mikey shocked everyone by claiming he had slept with Ashton Kutcher (P12), and George Lopez called in to riff on fog and Mexican stereotypes (P27). The hosts discussed Zachary Quinto's on‑air coming out (P55), imagined Charlie Sheen at Occupy San Diego (P80), and debated male‑female friendship after an email from Amy about a drunken advance (P103‑P105). Lauren's mother, "Other Mother," called to share embarrassing childhood stories (P144‑P147), and Mikey recalled a standout salad from Kensington Grill (P180).
What happened, in order
Chris Officially Joins
Mikey declares Chris an official member of the show while noting the weird studio lights and Woods shooting down Christmas lights with a slingshot.
Ashton Kutcher Claim
Mikey bizarrely claims he "boned" Ashton Kutcher, sparking confusion and jokes about oysters and video games.
George Lopez Fog Bit
George Lopez calls in to joke about fog, Mexican stereotypes, and trying to get money from ATMs while being mistaken for a Mexican.
Zachary Quinto Comes Out
During a discussion about a purple shirt and Carmen Miranda hat, the hosts realize the guest is Zachary Quinto coming out as gay on air.
Charlie Sheen at Occupy
In an imagined segment, Charlie Sheen calls in from Occupy San Diego, praising weed and joking with the hosts.
Friendship Email
An email from M1 Amy reveals a friend drunkenly hitting on her, sparking a debate about whether men and women can be just friends.
Other Mother Bit
Lauren's mom, dubbed "Other Mother," calls in to embarrass Lauren about childhood food rules and a wedding mix‑up.
Kensington Grill Salad
Mikey describes a memorable salad from Kensington Grill with arugula, mango, gorgonzola cheese, and hazelnuts after the Foo Fighters show.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsL.O.B.JayChrisRebeccaKyleHBTheater MomLilySam I amLauren (M1)AmyBrooklyn
37,573 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's the Mikey Show and phone lines open 570-194-9. Five people on the Mikey Show. Actually, I'm going to count Chris. I mean, he's not officially, you know, like full-time on the Mikey Show, but he is, you know? Yeah. So why don't we say that? Yeah. Yeah. I'm in on it. Yeah. He's family. Yeah. He's an official member of the Mikey Show. Yes. How about that? Bam. Congratulations. What's that, Chris? You made it, man. You made it. Hey, look at this. Hey, look at this. Don't get comfortable. He's like the little brother that I already have. That's right. Ditto. I'm Mikey. Woodsy is sitting right across from me. We have a burnt out light. The lights are weird in here. The lights are weird in here. The lights are weird in here. I took out the twinkling Christmas lights. I unplugged them last night because I slept here again. You should plug them back in. I will. I forgot I was working. What about that one? That one I have nothing to do with. Yeah, that's the one I was talking about. Woods shot it out with a slingshot because it was too bright for him while he was trying to sleep. What are you going to do underneath there, Woods? Hey, Woods, those weren't bothering me at all. Pretty comfortable underneath there. I want you to feel comfortable. Okay. All right. Thanks. How you doing? Didn't have anything to do with what bothered me. Yeah, okay. All right.
He just swiped your arm on his way back. Gave him a gentle man. That's right. Not his arm. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She's wearing a white scarf today. So let's hear it for that. Yeah. I like it a lot. Scarf season is back, Mike. She's been scarfing it up real good lately. The scars, not food. Yes. In fact, she won't go to lunch with us, so I don't even know if she eats. Fake lunch. Fake lunch. Oh, sorry. Fake lunch. Can I tell you, did you guys go yesterday? Yeah. I really wanted to, but I'm trying to be good. We were in there, and we go, what's up with fake lunch? Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it. And I go, what's up with fake lunch? And Woods goes, does she hate us? I go, I guess. She must. I was trying to be good, and I actually forgot I was supposed to pick someone up from the train station. We went to Kehlani's, and... Kehlani came out and made us some special dessert that tasted like biscuits with sugar on it, and they were freaking delicious. Yeah, Kehlani's is the best Hawaiian restaurant in town ever. That's for sure. I can't have too much of it, though, because it goes right to my Kehlani gut. It's so good. Jay loves to point out flaws in L.O.B. He's the only man that I've ever known that will point out physical flaws on a woman.
Butt's a little too big. You want to keep her looking good. That's right. A little eye candy in here. Jay is our producer, 48 years of age. And, you know, he's in shape, so he just throws that around all the time. I could be in better shape. How irritating is it when he's out there doing crunches during commercials? Push-ups, set-ups on the big ball. Easy, Jack LaLanne. Yeah, seriously. Gosh. Just trying to give you guys my candy. That's the juicer I have. We got a bunch of Jay's laughs isolated. Great. How about this one? That's just weird. I was doing Jay Soundboard from my phone yesterday to Matt. It's the greatest. It is the greatest. 570-1949, call us right now. You can call into the show. We would love to hear from you. I have a buddy selling a bunch of my stuff on Craigslist. How's it going? Good. He figured out, he was talking to some friends. He's like, dude, you're not selling this for enough. I'm like, really?
He goes, no, this is worth more. I have a question for you. Why didn't you do eBay? Because it turns out that I wasn't going to do anything. I wasn't going to do eBay. I wasn't going to do Craigslist. I had some camera equipment, some musical stuff that I was going to sell, and I wasn't going to do it myself. I'm afraid of Craigslist because I think I'll be assaulted. I'm afraid that I will go somewhere and some man will try to rape or rob me or steal me. Kidnap, yeah. Yeah, something. Nice beaver. Fine. But I will readily admit that it scares me. Yeah. So I'm afraid of Craigslist. And then with eBay, way too – it means I don't know how to do it. I don't know what a pen pal is on there. PayPal. And I don't know what it is to – I don't want to have to go mail something down at the UPS store. I don't want to deal with, you know. Less chance of getting kidnapped or raped. I know, but I don't want to. I don't want to. It's a lot of work. A lot of work. It is. So I found somebody that does Craigslist all the time. A good friend of mine. He does it all the time. And he goes, dude, I'll sell it for you. It's like a broker. Yeah. He said, I'll do it for you. And I said, fine. Juice him in a little bit. I told him. I said, dude, I'll give you 10%.
Done. And he's like, dude, I was just going to do it for free. And I was like, no, I'll give you 10%. So, you know, he wrote and said, dude, this is worth way more than you're selling it for. Because I had three watches that weren't like super, super expensive watches, but they were nice watches. Brands that are nice brands. Bulova, Tissot, which is a good watch. And I was like, eh, this one doesn't have a battery in it. I'm like, how about 50 bucks for each one? And he's like, no, because he looked them up and they're like, use 300 bucks, I guess. Maybe I'd take your Boulevard off your hands for 50 bucks real good. Really? Yeah. Boulevard's a nice watch. I know, but I've not known you to wear watches. It's an investment. All right. It's an investment. If you want to text in, you can do that. 949mikey at gmail.com. I want to get you on the phone. For some reason, people are freaked out about the phones. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to address the freaking monkey in the room. We know that there are gajillions of you listening, but everybody's afraid of the phones. Is it me? Is it me? Am I scaring you? You're scary. Maybe that's it. I'm scary, you know? They don't want to say something that they could get filleted for. I won't fillet you. My new bit is you say it, I listen. That's the bit. Look at that. You say it, I listen.
Awfully, maybe. Awfully. Jay just looked at me like, really, you can handle that. I've had to remind you of that. TVs are off. That could be my bad. It's got me, too. I'm coming in. Got me all weirded out. You don't worry about this studio. This is my apartment last night. It's weird sleeping in here. I went to the Foo Fighters, and it's weird sleeping in here. I'd be scared. It sucks. It does. It's all bright. Oh, Jay. Very hard to make it dark, too. Highway noise. We're in a soundproof studio, though. Right. So that wouldn't really be a factor. So that would not. No. Doesn't really matter. Uh-uh. Highway lights. Highway lights. Let's see. Hey, I like it. You can call about anything you want, I said. You can call about anything. And M1 Rebecca is doing just that from Kearney Mesa. What's going on, Rebecca? Good morning. Good morning. I haven't tried a job yet. I have not. On your homework. I thought that Woods wanted me to see a movie called Limitless. I do. I do not remember Inside Job. I never saw it. All right. And who's in it? Do you remember, Rebecca? It was the documentary with Matt Damon, and it's about the economy. Matt Damon! That's right. How bad things got and why they got the way they did. All right, I'll watch it. You think it'll lean left? Yeah, it will, but I'll watch it.
Okay. Yeah. You got it. Okay, thanks. After you watch Limitless. I'll watch it. Just watch it. I believe you'll actually enjoy Inside Job more than Limitless. No way. You might not agree with Inside Job. M1 Kyle is on the line from San Marcos. Hi. How's it going? It's good. I was calling because you were telling us that there's gajillions of people listening. I wanted to call him before, but I'm kind of afraid to because you're such a good arguer that I don't want to sound like an idiot. I'm not going to do that. Okay, I'm not going to do it anymore. That's my new bit. I'm not kidding you. I'm not going to do it anymore. My new approach is going to be listen and give a little bit of feedback but not really, you know, get all into it. I won't get all into it.
Can we try it, though? Can we at least practice? Yeah. Do you have anything, Kyle, that you would like to offer in terms of an opinion, maybe about Occupy San Diego or maybe about any of the things that we've discussed that maybe you would give your opinion on, and then I can at least practice? Occupy San Diego thing. Okay. Well, I definitely don't really agree with your opinion on it. I think that it's a good thing that people are down there. I know it's kind of vague what they're doing, but at the same time, it's, you know... It is their right. I think it's just people's frustrations on how corporate, you know, big business is intertwined with big government. In my opinion, I think that's what it is. I get it. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to let people give their opinion like that, and then I think that's good, and I just let you give your opinion, and I think maybe what comes of it is...
Instead of me doing the debate, maybe listeners call in. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I don't have to. That way, you know, I get to be impartial. Have you guys heard the new? Thank you, bro. There's a new deal with Occupy. I got an email about it because I actually signed a petition. I signed a petition that was sent by a couple of guys from Occupy because I believe in what they're saying. The ones that know what they're talking about. There's a new day, I believe it's November 5th, and it's basically take your money out of the bank day. Now, I don't think I'm going to do it because I'm comfortable. I know where my stuff is. I know I got my car and I'm good to go. If everybody did that, wouldn't that ruin the economy? That's what I want to know. Wouldn't that drastically injure us? What would be the repercussions of a bunch of people yanking their money out of the banks? That's kind of walking the walk, though. I mean, if you're like, hey, listen, we don't like this. I'm yanking my money. Like for good or just to see what happens? To see what happens, I guess. Can I offer something to that? Sure. Do you ever just come up with ideas without, you know, at all measuring the consequences of it? I mean, what if people really did that? And what if that's a terribly bad idea that drastically affects old people that live on their own and just people trying to live? I can't imagine what the repercussions will be. I can't.
Maybe the banks should have rethought that too, though. I mean, when you start talking about the banks. Yeah, but aren't we going to affect ourselves? I mean, it's like we're cutting off our nose to spite our face. Are you going to take your money out? No. Well, there you go. I mean, that's the deal. One of the main advocates for the Occupy North County page was saying how, it was very ironic, he walked into a bank to do some banking and he was yelling at a teller. Yeah. Why are you in a bank then? Take your money out of you. Let's walk the walk. Let's see. This is M1 Kyle from OB. What's going on, guys? What's happening, Kyle? Love you guys, man. Thank you. I was about to call you guys. Thank you. I got a big thing, man. I know Jay's got me here. But you guys keep sitting down. I'd like to argue about that. Yeah. Do what? Pee sitting down. Woods and I will pee sitting down. Sometimes. Women. Now, listen, Kyle. I want to be specific with my situation. Woods can speak for himself. If I go into a restroom and there's a urinal and I have to urinate, I'm going to use the urinal. Okay? Just so you know. All right? Okay. However, if there is a toilet, I'm going to sit. I'm going to sit.
Are you talking about it? Yeah, definitely at home. Oh, definitely. Definitely at home because it's very comfortable. So comfortable. I prefer it. You know, I feel it's comfortable. You know, maybe I got some reading to do. Sometimes, you know, even that takes a while. Yep. And so, you know. It takes a while? Sometimes. If you want it to. Yeah, sometimes. If you want it to. If you just got a new Rolling Stone and you're like. I just got to pee, but I want to read the rest of this article. I would challenge you that you could not go more than two minutes. Say again? Go ahead, Jay. I mean, you're going to spend about two minutes, maybe. Maybe two minutes. Two minutes is a long time. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. So now not only are you undoing your belt, you're undoing your zipper, now you're bringing your pants down to your knees. You're adding all this wasted time. Yeah, I know, but the trade-off is great. It's comfortable. And it's peaceful. It's quiet. For two minutes. You get to sit for two minutes. Your couch isn't as comfortable? Yeah, it is, but... Why don't I get back to it as quick as possible? That was a shock. No, no, no. I really do want to give a genuine answer to the reason that I do this. I believe I do it out of comfort. I really do. I do, too. I mean, I had to pee seven times yesterday. I peed standing up every time.
So there's days, you know, because I was barely at home. At home? No, I didn't even pee at home. Oh, okay. But if I did, I would have sat down. Yeah. I think there's a lot of guys. They do. They just want to meet me. I've never met anyone besides you guys. I've met one other guy. Nobody's talked about it, though, L-O-B. I don't know that you've ever really, I mean, has that really come up at dinner conversation with you and your buddies? But I've been with many men. Many, many men. Many. Many. Many. Many men. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate the first one. Yeah. And maybe, I mean, do you follow them into the bathroom? No. Especially in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night, do you follow them into the bathroom? No, but I can hear the lifting of the seat and the dropping of the seat. The noise. The noise. Yeah. You know what? When I think back on it, I don't think I did that when Rebecca and I were dating. And I think that's why. I think I didn't do it when Rebecca and I were dating because I knew she could hear that. And there was no way that I was going to let Rebecca know that I sat down to pee. Yeah. You hadn't given up yet. I hadn't given up yet. You know, that's another reason that I sit. I don't like that sound at all. I mean, I don't like that sound at. It infuriates me, to be honest with you. If I hear somebody else do it, I'm like, hey, with the noise. Yeah. Shut the door.
But we have to ask ourselves what it means and what it doesn't mean. It certainly could mean that I'm lazy. It certainly could mean that. Now, let's discuss what it doesn't mean. I'm not homosexual. I'm not a girl. I'm not a gay. I believe that's the correct terminology because we got a thing from the gay and lesbian organization. So I'm not gay. Now, some people may say, Mike, you're gay. Sit down. You sit to pee. You're gay. But even gay guys don't sit to pee. A lot of them. Right. So it's not a criteria. It's not a criteria. I'll tell you what I am. I'm very odd. Yes. I'm a very odd soul. Ding, ding, ding. I boned Ashton Kutcher. I boned Ashton Kutcher. You get it? I was seduced by Ashton. Well, we were just talking about... The new Two and a Half Men. Actually, we weren't. That's right. We were talking about Demi Moore. Nope. Oh. Punk'd. We were talking about punk'd? No, it sure wasn't. It sure worked. Oh, I got it. We were talking about Ashton Kutcher. No, we were talking about you being gay. I boned Ashton Kutcher. We get it, dude. Where did he get that? I don't know. At least you said it properly. Ashton Kutcher. That.
It's a true fact, Woods. That is a true fact, you know? If you just give me a moment. You should go on with your story. Aston Kutcher. Wait, what? Aston Kutcher. Like Aston Martin? Aston Kutcher. No, that's Ashton Martin, right? Aston Kutcher. Aston answered. Aston Kutcher. At least I wasn't seduced by him. I was seduced by Aston. Who? Aston Kutcher. I boned Aston Kutcher. Who's that? Aston Kutcher. I don't hear the difference. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I love it so much. Where did you get those drops? Video game for the Nintendo. It's a full-on war now, isn't it? Oysters. I don't hear a problem. That's the best part. Yeah. He doesn't get it. He goes, what? What? What are you talking about? And we look at him like, and he goes, what? Oysters. Oysters.
M1 Theater Mom, what's up? This is a quick question. I'm a new M1 from 94.9 Days. And, you know, I'm not a Facebooker, and I guess that's on me. But I have a question on how do I become integrated with all the M1s that you guys talk to all the time and mention all the time. I feel like I'm out in this little side bubble all by myself. I go to all the events. And I feel like I just kind of stand on the sidelines and everyone knows each other except for me. Now, I will tell you that the way that they know one another is from Facebook. And they met each other that way. They actually met each other that way. I'm going to have to break down. I think you should because I know people that are married that met as M1s. If you go to our Facebook page, which is facebook.com slash Mikey Show. and you like that page, you'll also find a link to M1's site. And if you go to M1's site, that's where a lot of M1's congregate, and they're all there. Yeah, you introduce yourself, everybody will make you feel real welcome. Yeah, everybody's... That sounds great. It's a family. It's a family. M1 Nation's a family. And next time, I can introduce you to some M1's, too. Yes. Next meet and greet, next event. That's right. All right.
either i haven't missed one yet right on right on theater mom i love you guys hey what now why is it theater mom uh he's in theater there you go all right cool thank you have a great guys we love you bye bye uh oh good i'm glad she's on the line i've been a little worried okay we're going to talk to m1hb now i will tell you that hb stands for hostile b Self-appointed name. Now, it's a self-appointed name. She's given herself the name HB, which stands for Hostile B. M1HB from Scripps Ranch. Are you there? Now, here's the deal. When you hear HB, what you will hear is the sweetest, kindest voice. When you see HB, she is the sweetest, kindest HB you will ever see. She is a close encounter of the sweet kind. Wonderfully big-breasted, too. Oh, yeah. Wonderfully. That's a true story as well. Now, I'm worried, HB, that you hate my guts. I love you, Mike. All right? Because you asked me something, and I had to say no, and I was worried that you were going to slit my throat with your fingernail.
to work yesterday. All right. I just didn't. I was hoping you weren't going to watch me bleed out. All right. I love you as well. What were you calling to say? A girl that just called, definitely join Facebook. That's literally, I mean, I've met originally the old M1 sites. There was message boards and all that, which is how I met almost everyone. But once Danny closed those, we all just migrated to Facebook. Definitely come on to Facebook. Introduce yourself. We will welcome you with open arms. We love you, M1. And the Facebook is an easier way to do it. I mean, he had a lot of upkeep when it was a site. And now that it's on Facebook, you could just go to... I wonder if it's just... If it's facebook.com slash... M1 site. M1 site. Site, S-I-T-E. Yeah, but it's really, really cool. And it is a great place to meet other M1s and to... Meet people. Yeah, it is. It's Facebook.com slash M, the number one site, S-I-T-E. It's also good because on M1's site, we never knew what each other looked like. Yeah. But on Facebook, there's all kinds of pictures of each other. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. And that's another thing. If people ever wondered, well, what do we all look like? You hear the Mikey show, and you wonder.
What does Mikey look like? What does Woods look like? L-O-B, J. A lot of people have heard. J is something to behold. He is a sturdy, just sinewy. He's West from Urban Cowboy. And so you can see him by going to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Hey, thank you, HB. We love you. Love you. Bye. Woods went to Foo Fighters last night. I want to hear. Also, there was a TV station that I have audio of that we're doing a satellite interview with someone, and we'll tell you who when we come back. But they went to him, and he was asleep. And we have the audio coming up. This is The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Eight bands. Outdoors. San Diego Rocktoberfest returns to North Park in four days, Saturday at 30th and University. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest, supported by Beck's live music from Everest. The Softback, the Creepy Creeps, Dead Feather Moon, Bully, the Style Tones, Low Volts, and the Heavy Guilty. Get your German party on with German beer, German food, and other German stuff. Grab your tickets now at FM949SD.com or at SanDiegoRocktoberfest.com.
Just 15 bucks in advance, 20 day of, Rocktoberfest at 30th and University this Saturday from FM 94.9. Hi, this is JC Thomas and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready. At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability, we've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part, too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit. and know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, visit SDGE.com slash safety. Like going to concerts but wish they weren't so expensive?
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Fill up on all kinds of German food and wash it down with a German beer, like Beck's Oktoberfest, a classic German beer that's amber in color with hints of caramel and toasted nut. It's only available from now through October. There's hundreds of Oktoberfests, but only one Rocktoberfest. So join the party October 22nd in North Park and celebrate every day with Beck's Oktoberfest, available for a limited time. For Rocktoberfest tickets or details, go to fm949sd.com. October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Do you run? You want to feast on something? And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays, and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that.
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and all models last seven years. That's two more years of protection, saving you time, money, and possibly a loved one. Protect your family today with a Kitta CO alarm from The Home Depot. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts. See your Toyota dealer for details. Lots of slowing in Encinitas, the 5 northbound after La Costa Avenue, an accident there. 15 southbound between 9th Avenue, Center City Parkway. It's slow in the 40s, and it's really slow here on the 15 northbound between the 5 and the 94. We're looking at speeds in the mid-20s. This report brought to you. by Mini, visit MiniOfSDCounty.com. Schedule a test drive for the new two-seat Mini Coupe, a speed-activated rear spoiler, and a six-speed transmission. The new Mini Coupe. Hold on. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three.
on FM 94.9. I don't know if I said word of the day, it's shallow. And so... At some point between now and 10, when I say shallow, you need to call us. 570-1949. Call our nine, you get to go see City and Color. They're good. They're real good. Why do we say they're good? Isn't it just him? Yeah, but it's a band, so you can't really say that. That trips me out. He's a front man. Yep. It's weird to say. City in color. He's good. Okay, so I told you somebody fell asleep and they went to talk to him. They go, hey, they're doing a satellite interview with him at KBAK-TV in Bakersfield. They go to him. He's sleeping. It's Harry Belafonte. He's a little old now. He's old. Let's take a listen.
His life is the topic of a new HBO documentary and his new autobiography. Harry Belvani joining us live this morning from New York. Hey, good morning, Harry. Harry, wake up. Harry? Yeah? Wake up, wake up. I can't hear anything. Okay. This is your wake-up call. Okay. I'll tell you what. Jay coached him in Little League. Yeah, he's meditating. He's having a little nap. Taking a little nap. See, the daylight hasn't come on. We might wake up. He's okay. He is okay. Dale. The daylight hasn't come on. We're going to check. I've been doing this for quite some time now. I have never seen that. He was thinking a little early, guys. Come on. Let's just say this. The way this works is they do a lot of interviews. Early morning, a lot of them sing. And perhaps, obviously, if he could hear us, he wouldn't have been like that. I don't think Eric could hear us.
Was he in his REM sleep? Yeah, he couldn't hear. He couldn't hear. He couldn't hear us. Oh, and he's kind of taking a nap over there. Oh, wow. Oh, man. His eyeballs are shaking inside, you know, just full REM. And if they're in Bakersfield, he's in New York. That means that if it's early over there, he's already three hours ahead. I know. Three hours ahead. Harriet's noon. Harry. Who's that? I love that girl's voice, by the way. Stay-o! Yeah. Harry, wake up! She goes, we're going to talk to Harry Benaponte. He's some old guy that Jay coached in Little League. I don't know. Hi, Barry. Uh-oh. Barry's asleep. She's a little unprofessional and disrespectful, in my opinion. But funny. Yes. But funny. What's up with the fog? What's up with the fog, man? Yeah. You ever been a Mexican and you have to deal with five? It's George Lopez, man. George, I'm a white guy, and I drive the same route to work. Yeah, I know, but here's the thing, man. I got one bit, okay, when I do my stand-up. I know. Everything has to come back to being Mexican, man. I get it. I mean, it's just the same for everybody. Hey, it's crazy, man. I was driving in.
this morning and I looked around and I said, wow, look at all this fog, man. Yeah, yeah, everybody did. And I said to myself, oh my gosh, man, you ever have to deal with being a lowrider and being a Mexican and trying to drive in the fog, man? Do you actually drive a lowrider? Yeah, no, but, you know, I try to bring it back to being a Mexican, you know? Stereotype. I'll tell you what would be crazy, man, is if you were trying to cross a border and there was all that fog, you know? It actually worked to our advantage, maybe. Yeah, it worked to our advantage, man. See, I'll make a joke out of being Mexican with everything, you know? It's fog or whatever. ATM machines? Hey, you ever been trying to get some money out of an ATM machine, but you're a Mexican? Yeah, you always get arrested, you know? Ever been trying to enjoy a taco? Yeah, man. You ever go to Taco Bell and you're just like everybody else, man. You just want to get a taco and all of a sudden somebody says, hey, is this where I get service? You know, I don't work here, man. They'll look at you and just say, weird. Yeah, exactly, man. Bring up another topic. I'll make it Mexican. Post office. Post office, yeah. You ever go to the post office, a mail, a letter? Let me tell you something, man. Don't use the Mexican mail, post office, because if you do, it's always going to be late. Post-it notes. Oh, post-it notes are crazy, man. Let me tell you something. Post-it notes are crazy, especially if they're Mexican post-it notes. Really? Yeah, that means eight of them live in your car, man. It's crazy. It's actually pretty funny, George. Everything's Mexican. All right, well, thank you. Good night. Good night.
Second straight day of this weird, thick fog that could cause delays. So if you're flying today, you should call ahead and see if you're still flying out of here. Nightmare. Dude, the fog here gets so dense and thick. And it's usually the June stuff. Why are we getting this right now? It's flipping back. It's going the opposite direction. Yeah. Freaking ants all over the house again because of the hot weather. Oh, really? Yeah, dude. Spray them. Rebecca doesn't like to because it's bad for the kids. She didn't want to spray poison. Just lead a trail of breadcrumbs out to your yard. Oh, by the way, there's a possible tuberculosis scare started at Bonita Vista High School. Woods. The exposure period was between June 1st of this year. to September 9th of this year, and the school will offer free tuberculosis testing today. I believe that says free TB testing. What says? TB testing. Tommy Bahama testing. You should go today and get it checked out, my friend. I purposefully didn't say TB testing. Tommy Bahama testing. The symptoms are cough, fever, night sweats, and weight loss. Well, I don't have it. Yeah, you guys are clear.
Maybe the night sweats. We call them the meat sweats, actually. Sweating off a burger. Hey, did you guys know the Chargers have the fourth cheapest beer in the league? I did not know that. Pretty sad. Yeah. Stadium beer? Yeah, and most expensive is the Rams. Nine bucks for a small. Oh, wow. Nine dollars for a small. You think they're making any money? Holy cow. Here, it's six bucks. Probably cost them a dollar for a cup. I bet. If that. Get a whole case of beer. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B.'s got me thinking. Because it's by the... I wonder how much it costs to fill a glass. Oh. I don't think it's more than a dollar. No. Over or under 50 cents? Under. Holy cow. Dude, you know how much it costs to make a Subway sandwich? Like, a quarter. Like, it costs nothing to make a Subway sandwich. And they charge six bucks.
I mean, it costs nothing. You get 144 beers out of a keg. And a keg, it depends on the kind of beer. It costs about $100. Well, this is good beer. Wait, wait, wait. Is $100 for a good beer or a regular beer? No, you can get $250 for a dark beer, like a stone or something like that. But what about a regular beer? What about Bud? Oh, yeah, I think they're like $120, something like that. So $120, and they're selling them in St. Louis at Rams games for $9 a cup. Yeah. Jackpot. For a small. Jackpot. They're making like over $8 a cup. Now, who gets that money? Stadium services, I'm sure. My goodness, dude. Yeah. What was it? Service America or something? I can't remember. What a freaking, you know. Racket? Yeah. Supply and demand, I guess. But we're the fourth cheapest. Let's see. The second cheapest is Green Bay Packers. Five bucks. That makes sense. Cleveland Browns are the cheapest, actually, at $5, and then the Packers are $5.25. So, feast. Let's play buzzword. 5701949. By the way, World Series starts tonight, right, Woodsy? It does, man. It's the Texas Rangers against the St. Louis Cardinals. The game is in St. Louis. It's Chris Carpenter for the Cards against C.J. Wilson for the Rangers, and it is at 5.05 p.m. on Fox. There it is.
It's going to be a really, really good series. All right. The way you play buzzword, you call right now, you're going to pick me, Woods, or L-O-B to be representing you. And what we will do is we'll listen to Jay as he gives us the word, and then we will have to – then he'll give us a clue, and we've got to go on that clue. And today's prize is a $25 gift card to Dave & Buster's in Mission Valley. There you go. 570-1949. We've got M1 Alex on the line from San Diego. Who do you want? Hello, Barry. Yeah. That's a good choice. M1 Brooklyn from San Diego. Who do you want? You got it. I'm always last. I'm not good at this game. Admittedly so. My brain does not work this way. M1 Meter Reader, I'm sorry, but you have got me. Maybe I'll pull it out for you. Who knows? He's silent. He's like, great. I got Mike. I'm sorry, Meter Reader. I'll try my best. Okay. Today's word? Yep. Cat. Cat. C-A-T. Cat. So he's going to give us clues and it's got the word cat in it. An unoriginal person. Copycat. Oh. Yellow bee. Nice. She's on one. Here we go. A short sleep. Catnap. Wow, that's a three-way tie. Mikey, was that what you said? Yeah, I said catnap. Three-way tie. Okay. A prowler. Woods. An all-in-one outfit. Cat suit.
Oh, wow. Cat suit. I've never heard of that before. I don't know. I was thinking like, I don't know. A swimming animal with whiskers. Catfish! Dang it, Woods. Dang it. And the pump. And the pump. Here we go. It's more of a thrust. A glass marble with a slit of color in the center. Cat's eye! I think it was a two-way tie between those two. Lauren and L.O.B. I thought that immediately and went, that can't be it. I didn't think it was. I just keep yelling out things that I don't know if they're really worth. Good idea. Here we go. Batman's feminine foe. That's me! No! He didn't even say it! He did say it. Did you say it, Mike? Yeah, Woods can't hear because he's got his own voice in his ears. And he's screaming at the top of his mouth. Hey, Woods.
I would really like to do this. I will bet you a $100 bill. I'll give you $100 if you were first. I promise you. Will you take this bet? I don't think you said Catwoman. I did. He did. Would you please take this bet? He's learned not to take bets. Finally. Yeah, I'm sitting here with a fryer's cup right now. Spill the secret. Cat's out of the bag, Mikey. Nice. Yeah! LB crashed onto the beat bag because she knew the answer, but couldn't get it out! She said the wrong thing. What's the score? Mikey three, LB four, Woods four. Let's do this, mama! Okay. New world! No, we got one more. Fine. Okay. Underground cemetery. Cat cemetery! Cat grave! Cat drape? Catacombs. Mikey. Wow, look at that suit! Yes! Now, aren't you glad we stuck with the word? Cat graves. Cat graves. Cat graves. I'm sweating down. I'm sweating down. Cat tubes. Here we go. New word. What? The new word is give. Give. G-I-V-E. Give me the word. I'm going to give it to you. Give me the word. I'm going to give you what you want. Frankly, Scarlet. I don't give a damn. Two-way tie, Mikey and Woods. Woods looks happy about it. Woodsy Owl said it best.
Give me a break. Give a hoot. I don't give a hoot. Mikey. Who's Woodsy Owl? Yeah, who's Woodsy Owl? I don't give a hoot. What's he the owl? Give a hoot, don't pollute. Who's Woodsy Owl? I'm like, what are you howling? Asian teenagers. What's the story, L.O.B.? Marry your daughter. Incest. Mike 6, me 4, Woods 5. Okay. Do a couple of two-pointers. What's the word again? Give. A couple of two-pointers here to finish this off. Handsome won a pink slip. Handsome won your pink slip. Give him the boot. Hand someone a pink slip. Give him a job. Give him their walking papers. Woods. Give him their walking papers. I've never heard that.
That's a two-pointer for Woods. All right. Got to give you your walking papers. I hurt my back when I dumped on the beanbag. Oh, she was so just full of adrenaline. This is for all the marbles. No! I'm looking for a good one here. Advice for mediocrity. Mediocrity. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Move on. Please try it again. Try it again. Advice for... Don't know this word. Try it. I know this word, but I can't sound it out. Please try it. Say it. Quickly, come on. Mediocre it. Mediocre... God, what is the word? Give him the middle road. Give him the... Moonlighters. Advice for mediocre. Moonlighters. Give him the runaround. Give up. Advice for... This is the one you settled on after all that? I know. Okay, here's a new one. Stop doing the annoying thing. Give it up! Stop doing the annoying thing. Give it up! Give it up!
Give it up. Give it a rest. Give it a rest. Gosh, come on. Here's a new one. My hands are sweating. In this instance... What? In this instance, he'll take a mile. Give him a yard! I got it! She didn't say it! She didn't say it! Who said it? I did. He did. I said give him a yard. Woods wins. Give him a yard. Woods just took his shirt off. He's sweating. He is sweating. My hands are sweating. LOP broke her back. I know. She needs surgery. And I still can't read. It's the best I've ever done, and I still couldn't do it. M1 Brooklyn, are you there? Woods practically threw his back out for you. He got so physical during it. Hang on the line.
That takes everything out of us. Oh my gosh, why did that do it? It takes everything out of us. Mediocrity. I can't say the word. Try it again. Mediocre. Is that the way you say it? Yes. Dang it. Oh, that wasn't the word. Yeah, what was the word? Spell it. M-E-D-I-O-C-R-E. Say it. Mediocre. Dang it. And it's don't give up your day job. Moonlighter. I would have never got Don't Give Up Your Day, Joe. No, not from that vague clue. I know it. 570-1949 is our phone number. We might as well just call it a day because that took everything out of us. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Yeah. Let's see. LOB, if you see... Okay, Lauren O'Brien, you may see on television from time to time. And she doesn't even know when she's going to be on TV because...
She was sort of an actress model, and they would use her, and she'd sign the rights away. She'd be like, yeah, you can use me for stock footage. And then if some kind of company wants to make a commercial, they just use the footage. It'd be her sitting typing. Yep. Or jogging, or whatever. Swimming. Swimming. And they used her because she's pretty, and they were like, well, if we ever need a pretty blonde, we'll type in pretty blonde typing, and there's L-O-B. Yeah. And they use it. Yep. Well. Apparently there was some commercial on and what was it for L.O.B.? It's some website called reputation.com where it like somehow you manage your reputation if you're a business or like something like that. I don't even understand it. Oh, it's like you want to make sure that if people Google you. Yeah, and if there's reviews of you out there, you want to make sure they're like good reviews. So if someone gives you a bad review, I guess you can like either. I don't know. I don't know. So. Lauren's boyfriend, Matt, has a brother. And so Matt's brother and sister-in-law, they send over a picture of their television set that they paused because L.O.B. is on the screen. And underneath her, the caption reads, she treats people like dirt and expects them to like it. Can you imagine?
That's who she is in this commercial. In this commercial, she plays the girl. She's a bee. Yeah. They're like, we need a girl. She needs to look like she treats people like dirt and expects them to like it. Yeah. We need somebody that just looks really bitchy. Yeah. Just got to find somebody that looks really bitchy. Oh, here she is. Look at this one right here. Hey, Barney. Come here. Barney. I think I got the girl here. I got her. You know, I think I saw this girl on the CW6. I did. Ripping on an anchor. That is true. That is true. That is her. She's going to be perfect. Perfect for the job. Perfect for the job. Perfect for the job. She nailed it. This is viral today. An ABC News anchor came out on the air. How? And we have the audio. Text them, 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Welcome to the Backsliders Club, the negative space in our heads we've reserved for our weak-willed moments. Here we can spiral down into our feelings of failure and defeat in total comfort. Look around. Hey, there's your sister-in-law who does everything right. Over there, that woman from the gym who's so together. And next to her, why?
That's your personal trainer. The truth is, we all land here once in a while, whether you're trying to eat better, quit smoking, or lose weight. The secret is not to stay. Kaiser Permanente reminds you that change happens one choice at a time. And one trip to the Backsliders Club doesn't make you a loser. It just makes you human. At Kaiser Permanente, we've got ways to help you stay out of here, or at least keep you from becoming a regular. Kaiser Permanente. We want you to get up, get down, and thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. When you compare USAA Bank to other banks, it's easy to see what a difference military values can make. As a matter of integrity, we offer free checking with no monthly service fees and free use of any ATM nationwide. As a matter of principle, we charge one of the lowest rates in the nation on USAA Bank credit cards. And because we believe in being able to bank from anywhere, anytime, we offer mobile apps that make it possible to access your accounts and even deposit a check if you qualify. What makes USAA Bank so different can mean better banking for you starting right now. Go to usaa.com slash banking, call 800-531-8722, or visit us at one of two USAA Financial Center locations, Mission Valley and Oceanside.
Some restrictions apply. No fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks' ATM fees. Credit cards provided by USAA Savings Bank and other bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank, both member FDIC. Scream if you can. Because when your throat is choked with fear, you may struggle to blurt out a silent scream or a really loud one. It's the familiar sound of Halloween in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds, where you come every year to face your fears, confront your demons, in a manner of speaking. And this Halloween, the last sound you hear may be your own or theirs in the Scream Zone. The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone now through Halloween. Climb aboard the Haunted Hayride or enter the House of Horror or the Chamber. Three terrifying ways to scare the life out of you.
For hours, tickets, and information, visit thescreenzone.com. Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With our Teachers Are Heroes program, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM949SD.com and tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes. Made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California, and FM949. Want to make grocery shopping more rewarding? Then sign up for the new Albertsons Preferred Rewards program. You can earn reward points for free groceries on items throughout the entire store, including the things you already shop for. From soup to nuts, from fresh produce to prescriptions, from lemons to lemonade. Just use your Preferred Rewards card at checkout and get 10 points for every dollar you spend. It's that easy. Want to earn rewards even faster? Look for thousands of featured bonus items that can earn you extra points. The more you shop, the closer you are to free groceries. So get your new Albertsons Preferred Rewards card today and start earning points instantly. And let us reward you for what you already do. Sign up for your new Albertsons Preferred Rewards card in store or at albertsons.com slash rewards. Exclusions apply. See store for complete details.
Shop at Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Chef's trim or signature skinless boneless chicken breasts are buy one, get one of equal or lesser value free. And holiday seedless grapes are $149 a pound. Plus 24 packs of Crystal Geyser water are three for $9 plus CRV for 16.9 ounce bottles. Find these rewarding savings at Albertsons. Halloween means it's time to scream. And now, buy $10 worth of select Coca-Cola products with your Ralph's reward card, and your family could be screaming with delight because you'll have a chance to win four Disneyland Resort Park Hopper passes, plus four passes to Mickey's Halloween Party 2012. Get refreshed with Coca-Cola, and you could experience wicked fun for everyone at Disneyland Park. No purchase necessary. Voidware prohibited by law. Restrictions apply. For rules, visit your local Ralph's. Coca-Cola. Open happiness. Why, Ethel, I've never seen a bingo night like this. Ooh, check out Norman breakdancing. I didn't even know he could walk. Norman, go, Norman, go, go, go. What's gotten into everyone? I spiked the punch. With what? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, fries, sausage, chili, and it'll liven up any party. Frank's Red Hot Sauce.
I put that on everything. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one in four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's. The simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours.
This report is brought to you by Allstate. Get any quote, you'll not only get a free lifetime membership in Good Hands Roadside Assistance, for a limited time, your first tow will be free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent. Well, we're getting kind of busy this morning. A lot of fog. Be really careful. It's only about a quarter mile visibility. That's going to be around until about 9 a.m. The 805 northbound at the 15, an injury accident. It's a signaler, number two lanes block, an SUV, and a car. They've got an ambulance and fire crew on the scene. Looks like the 8 westbound before Las Coches Road, there's a guy trying to push his car. He's partially in the slow lane. And the 94 westbound between College Grove Way and 47th Street stop and go traffic in the teens. This report brought to you by Pro Nutrients. They're a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick vibes. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. Oh, I want filth. I want straight filth, as filthy as it can get. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Yeah, Woods had something really cool. It was from a listener, I assume, right? We were talking about the beer and how in St. Louis,
For the Rams games, they sell a small beer for $9. And so an M1 wrote in. Yeah, M1 Corb said there's 184 12-ounce beers in a keg, $60 a keg of Coors Light. Okay. Makes it $0.32 a cup. Oh. And if you go to a football game, you're typically not getting like a Stone or a Guinness. You're getting Coors Light, Bud Light, Miller Light. Right. That's pretty much it. So a $0.32. thing of beer they're selling for $9. Yeah, and let's say the cup is another 15 cents. Let's say it's 45 cents. No, it would be like 3 cents. 3 cents, yeah, 35 cents. Can you imagine, dude, you're basically giving them free money. You're giving them free, like, here's $9. I'm making a donation. I'm making a donation of basically $8.50. An $8.50 donation. Yeah. Wow. Crazy, dude. Yeah, it is. Well, Charger fans, at least you know, fourth cheapest beer in the league. I am Mikey. That is Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. This is kind of interesting. The San Diego Attorney's Office is taking a look at a draft for an ordinance that would ban smoking in the common areas of family complexes. So if you live in a complex and you can't just smoke outside.
It's being created by a task force that's been assembled to examine the impact of secondhand smoke at apartments and condo properties. Don't you buy condos? You buy a condo. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Woods, I might be with you on this one. I feel like it's infringing. You're getting a little ridiculous. Infringing on rights. You're getting a little ridiculous. Oh, really? Yeah, I love kids. So they should die of cancer, though, is what you're saying. No. They're not necessarily going to die. What do you mean they're not necessarily? The studies have proven. Have they? Have they? Yeah. They've proven that it came from the common area of the blah, blah, blah. Of a condo. Second-hand smoke. Second-hand smoke is not a bit. It's for real. It is for real. It totally is for real. But aren't we talking the dad that smokes in the house and the kid's breathing it in? Isn't that what we're talking about right here? No. No, we're talking about outside. Outside, and it comes right through their windows. Jay. You own a house. Would you like somebody telling you what you can and can't do in your own home that you own? I own a house. Okay, a condo is the same thing. I don't have shared... I don't even like when people smoke out in front of my house. It comes right in my house. Does it? Yeah. They're standing outside his window going... People walk around the block. People walk around the block. Smokers are so inconsiderate. They'll stop out there, smoke, and they'll throw it down in front of the house and step on it and walk away. I want to punch him in the face. You should say to them...
How dare you not go to a smoking island? Right. Yeah, why don't you go to your own home? If they put it out on the ground, you could tell them, hey, I think you forgot something. Different issue. That's what I'd do. It's a different issue. That's littering. Littering and smoking are two different things. They're just walking by smoking. They walk back and forth. Perfect. They walk in front of his house. It's Jay's house. Give me a butt. I don't like the smell of smoke. Unless it's fresh marijuana. Jay. Excuse me, Woods, what's going on in sports? We're going to fill you in on Monday Night Football last night. But first, I want to tell you that sports is brought to us today by Dave & Busters. Jay is actually going to be at Dave & Busters this coming weekend from 10 to noon for the Charger game. Yes, I am. That a boy. How about Jay filling in for Woodsy? Yes, eat, drink, play football. Darrell Rivas had a big night last night. Intercepted two passes from Matt Moore of the Dolphins. And the Jets actually put it on the... winless Dolphins last night 24-6. Mark Sanchez 14-25 for 201 and a touchdown. Also, did you have a question? Yes. I'll wait. Also, good news for the Chargers. Denver Broncos have traded wide receiver Brandon Lloyd to the St. Louis Rams, which is basically like being exiled. Denver has an okay team. St. Louis has a really bad team. But he's reunited with Josh McDaniel, who is the offensive coordinator in St. Louis. Is anybody going to address?
The fact that Jay is wearing reading glasses that you buy at CVS. That you buy at CVS. I've got them on the end of my nose right now. You buy them for $4. I looked over there and I thought, someone's father is here. You don't have a choice. Print has gotten so small, I swear. What's gotten so small? Print. Please bring those here. Where'd you get them? Longs? Where'd you get those? Grocery store? They're like 1.25 or something. Put them on. Look at the print, though, now. Oh, wow. Now, Jay, I have a question about these. These don't jack your eyes up? I can't look at long distance, but if I'm trying to... The day I discovered I needed them was I was trying to solder two wires together and stuff real up close. I was like, wow.
That is insane. I can't see it. And now I can definitely tell it's getting worse, worse, because now, like a little print on the computer, I'm like, what is that? It's just so strange to see a dude wearing a Hurley t-shirt, but he's got on reading spectacles. He's got on grandmother's reading spectacles. I don't have a choice. I wish I did. It makes me crazy. I see distance fine. I wonder if somebody, I've always wondered about these, because they're not prescription. They're magnifying. Yeah, basically what the eye doctor said to me. I went in for my, you know, this was like three years ago. I went in and he said, you're going to start noticing that your up-close vision is going away. I'm like, come on, dude, really? And I look and the next day I was like, he was right. He goes, just go get a pair of cheaters, you know, readers. I was like, okay. So there's no prescription, so they won't hurt your eyes? No, you just figure out... I can safely wear those and not make my eye and not make my vision worse? I'd consult... Well, that's what I did. He told me to go get them. He goes, go in there and put the glasses on. They're all different ones, and they rate them, whatever the ones they are. And I put them on in 1.25, which is the lowest. Makes the stuff there easier to read. I mean, you... Let me tell you something. Let's say that you're a single man.
If it's time for these, you're never dating a woman younger than 37 ever again. It's a true statement. I'm just telling you. You never let her see you with them on. Maybe that's the deal. You know, they don't look bad. I mean, you look kind of... On the end of the nose? You look kind of distinguished. No, you don't. But Jay kind of does. If they were up all the way against his face, but on the end of the nose... Then I can't look at you. Yeah. Then you're a blur. They sure do help. They sure do help. They didn't help me. They made me sick. Maybe it's because I have 2015 vision from Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. Exactly. My vision is still like 2020, but I just up close. It's up close. It is. But doesn't one of those numbers represent seeing up close? I don't think so. That's what they said when I went in for the eye doctor exam. He said, your vision is still perfect. I'm telling you. Men are shallow. If we were single and it was a woman. Forget it. Grandma. Grandma. There's no way. I mean, she could be 35. Yeah. If she had on those reading glasses, you'd be like, no. What if she kept one end of the glasses in her mouth and then... Oh, different story. Bookworm with those glasses on? Bookworm, though, wears glasses. She doesn't wear reading glasses. You can't tell the difference. No, what I can tell the difference between is a subtle reference to Bookworm for the purpose...
Of letting Bookworm know you think she's hot. What? No, I'm just saying for example. You are such a creep. I love woods. God, dude. Whoa, Mike. I know what you mean. Like M1 Bookworm who just wears glasses. That's all she wears, though. Got no connection. Between reading glasses and what she does. I'm good looking. I'm looking at her page right now. She looks great in them. Jay, what's next? Depends. You'll be wearing them well before I am. Suppositories? What? What's next? Your insides are just going to give up. Hey, I ain't never going to have to wear depositories. That's my dad. My dad came to Dallas to visit me when I lived in Dallas and asked me to please, can we go see? The book suppository. I said, Dad, we're close, but we're not that close. Yeah, I'm not going to go look at any suppositories with you. You and I are not looking at suppositories. By the way, Dad will be on the show later to review Dancing with the Stars. Now, I said off the air today to Woods and L.O.B. If he didn't watch it for a third week, he's fired. Listen, I love him. You do love him. I love him. But if he didn't watch it.
I got to let him go. Yeah. Well, I mean, it would be like if you asked me to do something three weeks in a row, I didn't do it. You'd be like, hey, dude, we got a freaking problem here. Yeah. I mean, listen, one time, you know, shame on you. Two times, shame on me. Yeah. So, or, you know, for the shame. Shame. Shame on him. Shame on him. Three times. But if there's two strikes only. Yeah. You just forget it. Only if there's three. Let's see. We got, what line is it? What line? Two. Mikey Show. Who is this? Emily and Katrina. And what was the word of the day? Shallow. Yes! Here we are. We're going to see City in Color at the House of Blues, November 8th. Congratulations. Thank you. All right, hang in the line. Okay, so this is an ABC commentator coming out on the air, live on the air. He is not going to be in the closet anymore, and it happens while they're on TV. Zachary Quinto, who played Spock in Star Trek, he came out in a very nonchalant way. He was doing an article for New York Magazine, and he said the reason why he came out was the fact that he was inspired by a young boy that had committed suicide. He was gay, and he made an It Gets Better video, and Zachary said that that is really...
Encouraged him to say, you know what, as a gay man, I need to come out and live proud and live strong, which was very nice to see. Plus, he's 34, I'm 35. I'm thinking I can lose my distraction about dating actors right from that one, maybe. It was really touching, though, his blog, what he wrote about that young man and just wanting to reach out and hopefully, you know, let other folks know that it does get better. Yeah, it absolutely does. Absolutely does. Did you hear it? I didn't. So he said about dating actors. But you're an actor. Maybe that would be an actress. But I thought that women didn't like when you called them actresses. I thought they were also actors. And why didn't the lady say, now hang on a second here, Ted, or whatever your name is. Are you telling me, right here on television, in the middle of everything, are you saying to me that you are in fact a gay man? Which would have had him go, yeah, I am. Right. And she would have gone, we've been sleeping together this whole time. I thought we were something here.
You haven't called me back in three weeks. Now I know why. You were wearing a purple shirt buttoned down to your belly button with white pants as you delivered this. I should have seen it. And I didn't. And you were dancing the whole time. To the merengue. And as we sit here right now, you've got a Carmen Miranda hat on. Which is weird. Very nice to see. Plus, he's 34. I'm 35. I'm thinking... I can lose my distraction about dating actors right from that one, maybe. It was really touching, though. His blog, what he wrote about that young man and just wanting to... Say something, lady. Don't... Yeah. I think it went over her head. It went over mine. Yeah. Afterwards, he goes, hey, dum-dum. Yeah. I just came out, and you just, like, walked all over. You didn't even care. Do you remember that fastball that I just threw you that was right down the middle, about 50 miles an hour, that you should have just yacked out of the park? Remember that? No, I don't. What happened? What did I do? Just kind of teed you up. I don't know what you meant. What? What did I miss? No, nothing. Never mind. Okay. Did you say something about, was it a joke? No, it was not a joke. I just teed both of you up for something and you dropped the ball. Listen. I didn't see it. I didn't hear it. I didn't see it. Didn't hear it. Didn't see it.
Not if you guys weren't so concerned with your mic time and stuff. Hey, listen. We were just looking at the camera. Look, I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm a gay man. You're a gay man? I'm a gay man. Why didn't you just say that? That's a good point. Well, when we come back from break, after we... No, I'm not just going to out with it. Well, I mean... No pun intended. Well, how about we do this? Before I turn it over to James for AccuWeather... Right. How about I... somehow say something like this. I'll say, hey folks, before we go to AccuWeather, Ted would like to tell you how gay he is. Zero percent. You're not doing that. You don't want to do it like that? No. I'd rather come back singing a Nelton John song. All right. All right. Wait. We can do that. Let's brainstorm this. Let's spitball it. How about during AccuWeather we play It's Raining Men and then I can say, oh, and someone else likes it when it rains. And I'll do the shirt through the top of the shirt. Take the bottom of your shirt. Pull it down. Pull it through the top. And then I'll say, how come you like it when it's raining men? And I'll be like, because I like guys. What do you feel? Like, that's good? I don't know if it's good because he's got a button down on. That's true. I have a wife beater on under this, though. Could you unbutton it and then tie it? Yeah, I could just tie the wings. We could make it dramatic. We could come back from AccuWeather and I could say, ladies and gentlemen, we have breaking news. Ted here is gay.
I'm not really sold on that. All right. I think he's going for subtlety. Well, what I would have liked to have done is if I made a really obscure reference, I would have liked that you guys pick up on it. You made it come out for you? What do you mean, Helen? Like he said something about dating the actor, so then it was up to me to say, by the way, Ted's gay. Well, you guys both kind of asked the bet on that. No, we didn't. Yeah, you did. No, because the truth of the matter is that Helen Hunt is an actor. When we come back from commercial, listen, I'll take care of it. This is the way that we're going to deal with it. What I want you to do is I want you to sit there and look directly at the camera. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to hold up a sign that simply says, I'm with gay guy. And it's going to have an arrow pointing towards you. But what if they think you mean one of the crew people or the cameramen?
Okay, good point. I'm with Gay Ted. Gay Ted. I'm with Gay... Done. Done. Perfect. There it is. I'm with Gay Ted. Problem solved. Yeah, I didn't hear it, man. Didn't hear it at all. I'm sure somebody will explain it to us. You want to do random sonata? Yes. All right, we did this on Mikey-thon, and the way that it works... I forget. L-O-B... It works as though it's the incorporator, so we get people to call in and give us... Maybe seven words, I believe, is what we did last time. Mm-hmm. And Jay will get them, I guess, since Chris isn't here. Yeah. And then give me the paper, and I will say them to you. And then Woods is going to play a song. Mm-hmm. And I will have to put those words that you give us. So call us with words. Into a song. Yep. Normal words. Normal words. Yes. Not hoogly-boogly. Nah. That's stupid. Don't be stupid. Not jubilee-bloobily. Yeah. Just give us nouns. Just give us a person, place, or thing. There you go. It's easy, you know, but just a regular word. Oh, Henry, it stinks in there. Leave me alone, Karen. Karen, I hit a skunk, Karen. Oh, it's waffle. Oh, Henry. I just decided to do that. Yesterday, Woods and I had lunch together. Weird. And we just did words, or we just did Damone. Yeah, we came up with a new game for Damone.
What was it? It's called What Would Damone Do? What Would Damone Do? You know Damone from Fast Times? It's an advice segment. We would have people call in and I would be Damone. For example, I would call and I'd say, is this Damone? Yes, it is. How are you? Good. You're on the air. I've got a problem. Go ahead. It's my girlfriend. All right. You want to be more specific? She doesn't want to make sex to me anymore. All right. Well, the truth of the matter is you sound like a pud. Yeah. Okay? Probably part of the reason she doesn't want to do the sex with you. Jamone, I need to know. What would you do? I would take her to an Italian restaurant. I would order something with a lot of basil. Why? Because it spices the nose. All right? Women like to have their nose spiced. Just look at this girl over here. You see the blonde sitting to your right? Stacy. Hi. Stacy. I guarantee you, you take her out to a meal with a little basil. Avoid garlic. Yeah. Get a little basil. Get a nose spiced up. By the end of the night, she'll be doing anything you want, pal. Thanks, Damone. You're welcome. We did that for about 45 minutes. Weird.
It's back and forth. Doesn't sound like stuff that you guys would normally do at lunch, four times a week. Maybe you... I had tears. Maybe you joined. No, because then I would be left out. No, you wouldn't. I don't know Damone. Yes, you do know Damone. I know Damone, but I wouldn't be able to come up with a line. We're pulling back the curtain. Pull it back. This morning, we said... L.O.B. likes to do a thing where she says, I don't know it. And she perfectly well knows it. Yeah, she knows it. In fact, this morning, we said, hey... You remember that song from Sheriff? She goes, I don't know, Sheriff. And so we started to play the song. And I go, you don't know this song? And she goes, no, don't know it. Never heard it. Don't know. And she's got this thing like, listen, you guys can feast. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not going to join you in your reindeer games. Whatever you guys are doing with this Sheriff, I don't know what it is. I don't want to be bothered by it.
And then, we were like, okay. We felt like a couple of dips. Yeah, idiots. And about two minutes into this song, she's like, I live for you. And I go, hey! I go, hey! You guys do a lot of movie lines and stuff, and I laugh because I think the voices you are doing are funny, but I can't join in because I don't know them. You've seen Fast Times. I haven't, actually. We interviewed them all. I know. Remember? Oh, yeah. Do you remember? I just can't join in because I don't know the movie line. Hey, Stacey. Hey, Stacey. All right, we got the words. All right. And here's what we're going to do. Come back. Don't show me the words. I don't even want to know what the words are. I've got to get the words live on the air. Woods will play. I will do the random sonata. Also, imagations. Yes. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949.
More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And, of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. We've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after you run, you want to feast on something. And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays. And then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. FearlessRaces.com to register and get more information about that. That's FearlessRaces.com. M1 Lily, are you there? Hello. You called AIS, and what happened? Well, I called them because I called my regular car insurance to pay my six-month premium, and it almost doubled before I even, I don't even exactly know why. Once I found out, it seemed to be a big surprise to me as to why it increased. So I remember hearing AIS all the time on the Mikey show, so I go ahead and give him a call.
Within like half an hour, AIS found a company that had the same coverage and half the price of the new premium of my old insurance. So they ended up saving me like $600 in 25 minutes. That's amazing. And that is a real story. And the number is 1-800-777-4AIS, 1-800-777-4247. Were you kind of kicking yourself like, why didn't I do this sooner? Well, I was really... insurance. I didn't know about AIS at all. And then all of a sudden I called the agent just to pay my bill. And out of nowhere, I got this increase. And I thought, yeah, why don't I do this sooner? That's awesome. Lily, thank you so much for the call. We appreciate it. Thank you. I was car shopping with a dream in mind and reality in my budget. But with the unbelievable rate I got, I could shoot for the moonroof and the five-star dream car. It's not your wild imagination. This rate is real and only at Navy Federal. Right now, get as low as 1.79% APR in new cars. Plus, use our auto buying program and save even more. But a dream rate waits for no one. It's for a limited time and only at Navy Federal Credit Union. Grab your chance to upgrade your dreams for the car you really want. Apply today at NavyFederal.org. Rates based on credit worthiness, your rate may differ. Whether it's an earthquake, wildfire, or other unforeseen event, emergencies can and do happen.
Hi, this is Rick Hendricks, Director of Disaster Services with the American Red Cross. The Red Cross and SDG&E want you to know that being prepared for an emergency involves advanced preparation. Help us help you be prepared for a disaster. Storing food and supplies in your home is a great first step, but you should also have a written plan in place, a list of essential items for your family, and an evacuation route. To find out more, visit sdge.com. With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Right now, get $2,000 cash allowance or 0% APR financing on the 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. But hurry, visit your SoCal Dodge dealer today. EPA estimated MPG. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC.
How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one-in-four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's. The simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego.
If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. We'll be right back.
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now available in bags and K-cup portions, and you can get it for the Keurig Brewers Tully's Coffee. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Chad with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning. Don't forget, at Bird Surf Shed this Saturday, we're going to be showing the world premiere of Nightmare on Neptune. Don't miss it. Check for details. a little bit of dribble of that old Northwest or lingering on lower tides this morning hurting size and shape as well. You're gonna be finding ways in that ankle knee high zone on average up the waist high at the beach breaks on occasion as the tide fills in look for slight improvement. A couple corners here and there not much action at the Reese.
Overcast, guys, this morning, at least that pesky fog's not showing. Wind's light and variable, so right now looking fairly clean. Just overall weak scenario for surf. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And don't forget, this Saturday, Bird Surfshed Nightmare on Neptune premiere. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jake. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. All right. We've only done this one other time. Makes me nervous. We've only done it once. We did it on the Mikey-thon. It's called Random Sonata. And the way that it works is that... Excuse me. Oh, excuse me.
Uh-oh. I said, excuse me. I don't care if you have breaking news. Hello. The way that it works is that we have listeners call in and they will give us random words. Then Woods plays guitar and L.O.B. tells me what the words are and I have to make them into a song. Woods is doing something different. I've never seen you do that before. Instead of a pick. You're using a piece of paper. A post-it note. I can't find a pic anywhere in here. Oh. All right. I would love one. Here's one. Oh, you angel from heaven, Mike. That's not the first time you've said that. No. That's true. Thanks, buddy. Here you go. All right. You ready? I am ready. Would you like the first word before the music starts? First word before the music starts. First word is honky. Honky. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Woods. Is there any way that you can give me something country?
What's that, a drop D? Yeah, I'm going back from a drop D. Ah. You ready? Yeah. A honky like I am. A honky like I am. Skeleton. I'm gonna tell you, ma'am, there ain't no honky like I am. Skeletons in the closet. Skeletons in the closet. Manscaped. Ain't gonna manscape, ain't gonna sit at the Nordstrom. Ain't gonna do girly stuff. I ain't gonna find no. I got myself a business nose and a big black hat and a big belt buckle. Says you better jump back cause I got you on. Closers. Gonna tell you coffee's for closers. Coffee's for closers. Badger.
And a guy that wears a shirt with a badger on it is just a poser. He's just a poser. Blowing. I think every song should end with peace. Freaking outstanding. Wow, the crowd really loved it. It makes my heart beat really fast. Really? In my chest? Yeah. Well, because if I screw up, it's over. I mean, if you screw one up, it's done. You can't screw one up. Or it's over, it's done, and it makes you feel bad. Herman Cain, now you guys know who he is, right? Oh, yeah. He's a conservative. He's a black man. He is a black man. Let me state for the record. He is, in fact...
A black man. You've actually talked a bit about race, though, and you've created a contrast between yourself and your experience as an African-American, a term you don't like, by the way. I prefer black American. Why is that? Because my roots go back through slavery in this country. Yes, they came from Africa, but the roots of my heritage are in the United States of America. So I consider myself a black American. I'd get behind that. Yeah, for sure. It's not politically correct. You know? It's not. Well, one day it is, and the next day it's not. I never know. Oh, no. Well, I feel like it has not been politically correct to say black for a long time. Really? I feel like it's back, though. I think black is back. Black is back. Yeah. Because I say my only black friend, and he doesn't get mad. Well, I know, but you're from Texas. You can get away with that. What? Yeah, but I think even my African-American friends call themselves black. They can call themselves black. They call themselves black. I can call myself Mexican. You're supposed to call me Hispanic. But one of my black friends said the same thing. He said, I'm not from Africa. Oh, boy. I'm from New York. Yeah, you have a very progressive black friend. I prefer beige. You're beige? Yeah, I'm beige. Yeah, because you're, you know.
You're tan in color. Yeah. I'm pinkish. Maybe a black guy calls in and tells us. Yeah. Herman Cain, by the way, he was the CEO of Godfather's Pizza. Delicious. Yeah. And they found an old internet thing of him from 1991 singing an ode to pizza to a John Lennon song. Imagine there's no pizza. I couldn't if I tried. Eating only tacos or Kentucky fries. Imagine only burgers. It's frightening and sad. You have pizza. Thank you. I love pizza. There's an old saying. If you can run Godfather's Pizza, you can run the United States of America. That's right.
That's a true saying. It's a real thing. There's another statement that says if you're a junior senator from Illinois, you can run this country. You can run this country. There's another statement that says if you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you can run this country. Well, there's several of those statements. There's a lot of sayings. There's a couple of statements about the state of California. Thank you, Arnold. California. California. Made of a Cyberdyne system with some sort of synthetic alloy. You could also run the country or the state. It's one of my favorites. But your eyesight obviously suffered because we all saw who you cheated on your wife with, which made no sense to any of us. Often they don't. They really don't. It's a weird thing. They never do. It's a weird thing about it. They never do. It's different. No matter what you do. Yeah, that's why they call it strange. That's right. Duh. Man, they don't call it familiar, do they? Stop. Move forward. Is it called familiar? No. It's called strange. It's different. Familiar. They might as well call it different. You know? Mike, be different. Is that why you started Be Different? Is that the idea? That's the idea behind it. Get strange. Why don't you just call it Get Strange? That's not what it was, though, Charlie. That's exactly it. Be different. Why don't you say be familiar? Because the idea was that, you know, you'd be nice to people. I'm very nice to people. Hello. No.
Really, dude? Really? I'm jealous. So jealous. It's on. It's my favorite. Bye. You know, I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were such a... I didn't know you were so sensitive. Stay away from the crack. Sounds like a parrot there. Stay away from the crack. It's time... Speaking of parrots, it is time... Once again, ladies and gentlemen, for Imagations. Brace yourselves. It is time for Imagations. The way that it works is we take a well-known, best-selling author, Jason R. Isabel. Yes. He is a thespian, an actor, and a really aficionado when it comes to voices. Yes. And so we get to hear his voices. He turned the microphone off so he could... I was burping really loud. Are you ready, Jay?
I will tell him what he's going to do. I'm ready. Jay, you are surely from what's happening and you're mad at Dwayne. What you talking about, Dwayne? Oh, that was really loud. That was... So you're mad at Dwayne for... Dwayne! I swear, Dwayne. For spilling his milkshake all over the diner. Your milkshake is... Is it? Do your milkshake. I don't know. I made a mistake. Look, Dwayne warned you for the last. I do not spill your milkshake. milkshake in my place. It's the first time I've ever spilled it. No, don't you lie to me, child. Child, we all know you're a milkshake spiller. Thank you, Shirley. Pick up that milkshake now. Hit the road, Dwayne. Oh my God. All of Shirley's signature phrases. Don't make me come in there. Remember that one? Don't make me come in there. Remember what's happening? Remember a child? Oh my God.
I have tears. I actually have tears. Side of my left eye. Hey, we're moving on up. That was fantastic. I wish I had to save that one for last. How do we top that? We're not done. I don't know how this is going to go, but we'll try this. You are a Wall Street broker. Advising someone which stocks to buy. Oh, very nice. I'll tell you this. If I was buying stock, I would buy the top gold. Gold is selling very high right now. Thurston, how much is gold going for right now? $99 an ounce.
$99 an ounce. But I wanted to know about stocks. Yes, stocks. Well, I bought stocks of gold. Can I ask you a question? What is the difference between a mutual fund... Oh, thank God you asked. Yes. What's the difference between a regular fund and a mutual fund? Well, a regular is for the regular Joe. Right. And the mutual is mutually beneficial to all of us. I would buy... Lovey, lovey. Get in here, lovey. These peons. His dialogue, it's second to none. It's outstanding. It's second to none. Where do you get it? He got it from Gilligan's Island. That's where he got it. Oh, wow. Julie, what do you think? Oh, wow. Callback. The double. The double. The double. Holy cow. He's got the callback. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I love this game. I love this game. And now, for our last one, what we're going to do is we're going to transport everyone listening to downtown San Diego where there's a movement happening. And really, there's a movement happening all over the world. Yep. And we are going to talk to Charlie Sheen, who is live at Occupy San Diego, talking to the hippies and the... Bring it. Bring it.
So, Charlie, Charlie, what have you noticed down there? This is Charlie Sheen. Yes, I know. What have you noticed down there? He just introduced you. It's Charlie Sheen. I'm smoking some weed. What have you found, Charlie, as you've talked to people? What have you found? Some good weed. Shut up. Shut up. This is Charlie, all right? Charlie Sheen. Sheen. Charlie Sheen. Bring it. Bring it. When I say bring it, I mean marijuana. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah, see? I'm Charlie Sheen. Yeah, see? Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Yes, I'm Charlie Sheen. I didn't know you were so sensitive. Jealous. Winning. Winning. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. No, it's winner, winner, sheen dinner.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye. You're jealous. You're jealous. I get to sit next to these two smoking hotties. Shut up. Shut up, shut up. Move on. Move forward. I didn't know you were so sensitive. I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were such a... I didn't know you were so sensitive. Oh, that is... Thank you. Thank you. I do love me. Some imaginations. Oh, wow. That was fantastical. 570-1949 is the number if you want to get a hold of us. It's brilliant. Speaking of Occupy Wall Street, a couple more New York police officers are being investigated for treating people poorly in New York City that are down at Occupy. Occupy Wall Street. Yep. Just occupying everywhere. Occupying. Occupying. Occupado. Occupado. In Portland, it got real out of hand. Did it? Yeah, man. They were, like, being violent and stuff. Probably because of all the vampires there. Probably. That is a true statement. Here's five qualities we want somebody that we work with, including making sure that we don't have to do extra work and supplying us with junk food. That is, just to let you know, we like that. Here's one of them.
Having a sense of humor, not taking things too seriously is something that we look for in a co-worker. Absolutely. Which I'm now, all of these things, by the way, I'm reading these and I'm going, I'm really working on that. You've always had a sense of humor, obviously. Yes, but I do think I take everything too seriously. Oh, yeah, for sure. Number two, always pulling your weight at work. So you're getting your, whatever you're responsible for, you're doing it. Oh, yeah. Yes. It's a big player with our team. Yes, it is. We like to make sure everybody does. Yes, we will stay on top of everyone. And by we, I mean Jay. Jay. Yes, he is the father of our program. And he will come into the studio and he will say to you, just like your dad, you just going to leave this here? Why is this such a mess? What's going on with this? Yeah, what's up with this? What's up with this is a very popular phrase. Very popular. I cannot turn it off. Yeah, four kids, you know.
I get it. What's this leftover pasta out here, L.O.B.? I'm about to microwave it. It's why it's right next to the microwave. Well, don't leave it. Hey, don't leave it right there. Just don't leave it there. Well, I don't know where else to put it. Well, just don't put it there. I don't care where you put it. Just don't put it there. God bless. L.O.B., is that coffee cold? Yeah, but it's okay. It's how I like it. Happy birthday. Just leave it there. I guess the cleaning people will do it, right? I'm going to drink it. Are you racist or something? I guess the Mexican lady. Yeah, I'll take care of it. That would be Mike and Wood. Hey, Aretha Franklin, everybody. Hey, look at that. You're projecting Mike and Wood's activities onto me. How dare you, L-O-U. We were on your side. Here's another thing that people really like from their co-worker. Bring homemade treats. You bring homemade treats, you get on your co-worker's good side. I'm going to start doing that. Oh, boy. Except here. I brought in some people who are like, I don't want to eat this fat. Get this fat out of here. Yeah, and I bring my healthy stuff, and you guys are like, bleh. Yeah, what are you going to do? She's going to bring us whey brownies. She brought us freaking kelp bread. Yeah, guys, it's kelp bread. It is. It tasted like a goldfish. I loved it. It tasted like butt. Thank you, Jay. Number four. I'm lying. No, I'm not.
Stepping up when someone else isn't pulling their weight at work. Woods. That's a big Woods thing. Woods will do that for people. I do that for people. That's what I'm saying. He does. That's what I was doing. And number five is bringing in store-bought treats. You go to the store, you buy stuff. Yeah. Bringing cookies. You know, we used to do that for each other a lot. We used to bring each other coffee and danishes and like... Oh, yeah. Remember that? I would run down to CVS and bring you guys back like a smoothie or something. I brought you a coffee and danish on your birthday. That is true. And it was tasty. I can still taste it. You don't bring me flowers anymore. This used to be so different. L.O.B. would bring things that weren't made of hay. Do-do. Yeah, poop. Poop. That tasted like the bottom of an aquarium. I did, I did. I brought you guys some algae. Those freaking cookies that she made. Do you remember those cookies she made? Yeah, L.O.B. went from making delicious little treats to making us... Pooh cookies? Yeah. She's like, now I'm going to get you guys healthy. I've made you fat, now I'm going to get you healthy. That's right. Yes, I got too fat. Lindsay Lohan's teeth do not look good. They do not. It's a sign of...
A lot. But it's a sign of drug use. Yeah. Could be bulimia as well. Yes. That is true. It could be bulimia. Could be both. Yakety yak. Could be what? He goes yakety yak. Sometimes bulimia is not funny. Yeah. Actually most times. Well I mean by most times you mean all. Yeah. But now I'm looking at a photograph of Lindsay. And she doesn't look healthy. This was just from a few days ago. She doesn't look healthy. And L.O.B.'s right. It could be bulimia that causes that. It could also be drug use that causes it. Methamphetamine. Methamphetamine does it. Fergie is a meth head. Now look. What? Does she have bad teeth? A lot of meth head. She's haggard. Really? Yeah, she's haggard looking. But I don't know that. I don't know. Disfigurement. Disfigurement? Yeah. She's missing body parts? No, like... That's dismemberment. Oh, yeah. Disfigurement. Like her facial structure kind of changed. Really? I've seen before and after. Shame. I'll get you. Well, it's real sad. She was supposed to be doing community service, and the women's shelter in L.A. said, we don't want her. She's got an attitude. Yeah, get. Get out of here.
She will never, she's one of those that will never learn her lesson. She just won't. Is that the same one with a picture of her hand that's all purple? Yes. Why is your hand purple? It looked like she put her hand in a garbage disposal. Yeah, it's all dirty. It's like dirty and like bruised. It's purple and cut up. What the heck? She tweeted, I think yesterday, that she said that she is doing her community service and that stay off her. She will not be made fun of. It was like this crazy tweet. I ain't making fun of her, man. I think somebody should take her to. An island. Yeah, until she... And she just has to stay there until she's detoxed, and she doesn't get to come back until she's better. She's got a whole year to put in those hours, so that's what she's saying. She's saying, just because I'm not doing it, you know, 10 hours a day, I'm doing it. I know that bit. Yeah. Just putting it off to the last weekend of community service. So, Jay, you follow her on Twitter? No, I just saw it. I just saw it. I was looking at my daughter's page. Yeah, I mean, I was... Gosh. Gosh, shut up, Magnum. Turn the freaking mic off, Mike. So I can get in there and talk to that blonde. Just running at the mouth. Calling me off. Quit calling me off, L.O.B. I'm telling you what, man. I ain't no standpoint. Crap. Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, yeah. She can sing, dude. She can sing. She's country strong. Yeah? Yeah, she is? Yeah. All right. When we come back, we're going to call my dad.
and he's going to review Dancing with the Stars. I have no idea if he watched it. If he didn't watch it... Breaking football news. What? Breaking football news. What? Carson Palmer. Tell us when we come back. Oh, you got it. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. There's only one place to go and one name to know when you need the right auto part, NAPA Auto Parts. Sign up at your participating NAPA store for an I get a discount card and make sure you're always getting the best quality parts at the best quality prices. It's what's called NAPA know-how. There are times when a race is such a close call, it requires a photo finish to determine the victor. In the race for best luxury sedan, let's see how the BMW 7 Series performs. It has a considerably lower starting MSRP than the Mercedes S-Class, consider thousands less. There are 13 exciting 7 Series models to choose from, more than any of its peers. Choose from five horsepower options, two-wheel or X-Drive intelligent all-wheel drive, even gasoline or hybrid technology. Also, BMW includes no-cost maintenance, saving you thousands. And for a limited time, gets special finance offers. Well, it's obvious to the naked eye, no photo finish necessary. The 7 Series wins.
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Is The Mikey Show with Mikey. When I was in high school, I never made love with a girl. Woods. That is what heaven is in my mind. I get up to heaven and I'm like, oh my God, it's a Krispy Kreme. Lauren. My butt doesn't go straight down. Sticks out, you know, junk in the trunk. And Jay. I tell you, Kim got me on the organic ketchup and then I went back to the Heinz. This is The Mikey Show. On FM 94.9. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. That's Kraut. That's Kraut. Woods, he has breaking sports news that has to do with Carson Palmer. I'm going to do it in James Spader's voice. I can get Carson. I guess if you... Cry enough, then you'll eventually get what you want. What did he get? He got traded, almost traded to the Raiders. He said it's almost a none deal. Yeah. A couple of draft picks, high draft picks. Carson Palmer will be the new quarterback of the Oakland Raiders, a division rival of our San Diego Chargers here. You're not too worried about it. Yeah, it would have scared me a lot more two years ago. Three years. Plus, he's been sitting out. I mean, it's going to take him a while to get back to snuff. The only thing that kind of worries me about it,
is that he's angry. Something to prove? Yeah, guys with something to prove. Played pretty well at USC, and that's right down the street. I mean, he's probably very comfortable in Southern California. So he is about to be a Bengal. Also, there was talk that Kyle Orton was going to get traded from the Broncos to the Raiders, but they're not going to need to do that now. Brandon Lloyd was actually traded to the Rams from the Broncos. Deadline is 1 p.m. our time today. Trade deadline in the NFL? Yeah. There you go. Don't expect the Chargers to make too many moves. They don't need to. They don't really need to. All right. My dad does a segment about Dancing with the Stars. Oh, yeah. All right. My dad is a fan of the TV show Dancing with the Stars. He is on the line right now. Dad, are you there? Yeah. Now, did you, in fact, stay up and watch Dancing with the Stars last night? The commercials are just... and they drive me crazy. Okay, did you see any of Dancing with the Stars last night? Yeah, yeah. I saw about four of the dancers, and they were my favorite, so I liked it. Okay, all right. So I know from prior conversations, you are a fan of J.R. Uh-huh. Okay, you are also J.R. Martinez, okay? Yes, uh-huh. Dad is also a fan of Han Solo.
And you are also a fan of a girl? Hope Solo is the girl. Who? I don't know. Who else do you like? You like Hope Solo, you like... You're thinking of Carson Kressley, Mike. Oh, Carson. I like Carson, but last night he blew it. He blew it. Okay. What happened, Dad? What happened? With Carson? Yes. Well, he was off, you know? He just didn't have the rhythm. And I think he was just trying too hard. Hello. That's right. Here is Bruno talking to Carson. That was loopier than a Looney Tune. Well, thank you. You went from shell-shocked on a shell suit to an insane Tony Basil backing dancer. Right. You managed to squeeze so much wacky fun out of a really minimal jibe that is almost impossible to achieve. This is, again, a crowning achievement in madness. Let me tell you. What is crazy to me is they pay this man millions of dollars. You cannot understand one freaking word he said. Bruno, was that good or bad? Well, you know, I tried to tell you what I say here.
But then in the middle of it, I talk about Tony Basil, so you don't know what I mean. Could you just give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down? Does he like us? Oh, for goodness sake, how many times can a man say something to you? It was a gay. Who else, Dad? Who else was good? Well, you know, J.R. is just the top of the line. He's got such beautiful moves, and he completes them, like the judges say. But he's a dancer, and then last night, you know, he danced a song that applies to the Hispanic population. You weren't mad at that, Dad. You liked that. Was it La Bamba? Yeah, I mean, he had the perfect moves, you know, and one thing I noticed about him was... Hang on just a second, Dad. I need to explain something to Woods. I am allowed, Woods, to make...
to make that joke because I, you see, am Hispanic. You're a white guy from Texas. And so when you say it, it's a little different. But one of my best friends is Mexican. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. Dad, go ahead. So you were saying. Sorry about that. I was saying that a couple of weeks ago, you know, he was kind of very reserved. He was very conscious of his looks and all that. And last night, it was like, you know, he was out with the guys and dancing and having a good time. Well, listen, Bruno said that he was a loin-shattering sex machine. Let's listen back. Talk about hip action. You were like a loin-shattering sex machine. There's a woman out there that was going to throw herself off the balcony. Look at that. The Kardashians are gagging. I wanted to choke myself. You had so much fire down below. It was like an volcano. We get it, dude. Wait, wait, wait. Wasn't he burned? Yeah. Yeah, but you don't say fire stuff to that guy.
Well, maybe he meant it in more of a different way. I had to put you out with a hose yourself. No, he didn't mean it like that. I mean, he didn't mean it that way. But you don't say it. Maybe you watch what you say. Oh, the performance melted my face off. Oh, for goodness sake. You got to be careful when you're talking to him. You got to be careful. Easy, Judge. Easy, Bruno. Holy cow. I love what happened below here, okay? Below the belt. Below the belt. When you shake this. Ow! Oh, my gosh. I don't know what to do. It is like my mind is like fourth of July. I want to stop drum and roll all over the stage. Oh, boy. All right, Dad. Anybody else that you want to mention? Well, I'd say, you know, Hope Solo, I still think she's too tight. If she would just let go of herself. You know, she was a goalie in the soccer, in the world of soccer. She's a tough gal. Yes. And Max is having trouble just loosening her up. Yes. All right. I can understand that. Grow up, Jay. I'm just agreeing. Thank you. All right, Dad. It's a Dancing with the Stars. We get a Dancing with the Stars update from my pops. He is the best. And I love you, Dad. All right. We'll see you later. Thank you.
That's my pops. He's comedic. So sweet. He gives us gold. Yeah, listen. You know, I mean, it's like working with sophomores in high school over here. Yeah, you guys. She's very tight, Jay. Very tight. Stop it. He can't loosen her up. It's the way she dances. He can't loosen her up. He's been trying to loosen her up, but he just can't. I'd give her some alcohol. Gosh darn. It's the way that she dances. She's got to have more reckless abandon. A couple of bellinis. Yeah, right. Yeah. Loosen her right up. You guys. Carson really blew it last night, didn't he? Man, blew it. Man. He didn't do well is what he meant. He didn't do very well. He didn't do well. And he didn't do well. And he didn't do well. Let me tell you. You are smoking out there tonight. The roof is on fire. That hurts. You are burning down the house. It's hurting. It's hurting, it's hurting, it's hurting. What, what, what? I'm in the middle of a critique. I didn't start the fire. But you can put it out. Oh, my God. What? I'm in the middle. I am freaking out. We are on live television. What? Oh, God.
Crap. Uh-oh. I am so sorry. It looks like you have ice in your vein. That's what I mean. Yes. You dance with reckless abandon. I meant to say that was great. You are so good. You're cool. So cool. Cool. Not hot. Opposite of fire. Ice. Ice. I see. You know how to ice a room. You're like the North Pole of the dancer. You move like a glacier. You're out there like Antarctica. You're a snowman. Yes. It's like Hoth is dancing. I got an email to do an email for you. This email says, Mikey, I'm good friends with a guy that about two years ago admitted that he wanted to be more than friends with me. I told him I didn't feel the same way and didn't want to ruin our friendship. It was a little weird for a while, but we went back to being friends just like we always were. I really consider him my best guy friend and want nothing more from him. The other night he was drunk and he made a move on me. When I said to him, what are you doing? I told you, I don't have feelings like that. He flipped out. He said, everyone knows that guys and girls can never just be friends and that I let him on. What did I do wrong? M1, Amy.
All right, well, a couple of things. First of all, part of the reason that he messed it all up is because he got wasted. If he hadn't gotten wasted, he wouldn't have gotten courage pills. Yeah. Okay, so he drank some courage and went somewhere that you already told him you didn't want to go. Second, Amy, you're an emotional vampire. No. Yes, you are. And you know you are. She is not. Yes, she is. She wants his friendship. So does every girl that is told by a guy that they're not attracted to that they like her. And they say, oh my gosh. But they started out as friends. They started out as friends. I don't feel that way about you. I don't want to ruin things. I'm flattered. And I just don't want to ruin things between us. Well, we're friends. That's all she wants. Let's just stay friends. I want you to come to the mall with me because I have a date.
And I want you to help me pick out some new shoes. Yeah, well, and also, when John turds on me, I want to call you and cry. Because I love, like, I just love, like, on Sundays, like, when we spend the whole day together and, like, we watch movies and stuff. Right. But you make me dinner. It's so cool. It's so awesome. And then I go home and, like, make out with my date. Yeah, freaking John hasn't called me. You know what else I love? I love how much you love me. and how much I can tell. Yeah, and like, remember that one time when I called you and I had that flat tire? And like, you just came right over. Like, I called John and he was like, hey, I'm at the gym. I'm surfing. I'm surfing and then I'm going to the gym and then I'm going climbing with Jay. Right. Guys are being dramatic and extreme. Guys and girls can be friends. No, they can't. Yes, they can. No, they can't. I'm not friends with you guys. No. It's different. We're co-workers. Yeah, and no, you're not. We've invited you to lunch. Woods just put me in the co-worker zone. Of course you're my friend. Am I? Aren't you? I'm married. So what? If we were single? Couldn't be friends? No. I'm friends with Chris. Chris wants to sleep with you, though. Yeah, Chris wants to sleep with you. He does. He just nodded. He's shaking his head right now. He's looking at L.O.B., and he's shaking his head, no, I don't, L.O.B. He just mouthed. He does not. I would. He did, yeah. L.O.B.
If I were single and you were single, you would make me your big fat friend and you would be super good friends with me. Well, she wouldn't because she works with you and she doesn't hang out. No, no, no. Oh, just outside of work. Yes. If I were single and she were single, she would go, I could tell he likes me and I'm going to hang out with him because it feels good. No. Feels real good. Yeah. I'm going to date D's. Yeah. And then when they, you know, if they're busy. Then I'll call Mike because he's a puppy dog and he'll always be available. Got her. She knows. She knows. She knows. That's not how it works. She knows. Yes. And that's what Amy is doing to this poor fellow. So she's just supposed to go. So he comes on to her. The very first time. And she says no. And she says no. So that's it? That's the end of their friendship? No. No, no, no. Oh, you mean when that happens? The first time it happens. Then she has to be like, no, I'm not interested. And by the way, we can't be friends anymore because you told me that. No. No, no, no. Here's the deal. Let me put the facts out there. I'd like to broadcast this to the United States of America. Okay. And also to the world. I want this to be beamed throughout the universe.
To every guy that makes the decision that he is going to say to his friend that's a girl that he has feelings for her, know this. If she doesn't reciprocate, just understand, it's over. And you've got to be the one, guys, to say, we're not hanging out anymore. Now, she's going to be pissed. She's going to be really mad. She's going to say, you ruined the friendship by telling her how you felt. And she'll give you all kinds of crap. She'll say things like... Ella B, by the way, has the most giant smile right now because she's done it to about 80 guys, I bet. You've never been turned down and then the girl at the time has a few drinks and all of a sudden it's on. Of course. That's so different, Jay. That's a different story. It's different. I've been told, no, that they want to just be friends. Well, then I gave him a real hip now, and it was all good. And then it changed a bit. Especially if you do back off, if you go, hey, whatever, and then just kind of go a different direction, like, hey, I'll go chase this. Sometimes. Oh, God. Sometimes. Where he screwed up was getting drunk and making a move on her. I mean, Amy, if she was a nice person, she should just sleep with her. No. Break him off some.
They can be friends. Guys and girls can be friends. They can't. They can't. Yes, they can. They cannot be friends. Most of my friends are guys. Red flag. Red flag. Red flag. Red flag. Monster. You monster. I just get along better with guys than I do with girls. Do you know how many guys L.O.B. has probably raked over the... Hundreds. It's raped over the coals. It's raped over the coals. That's the right thing. Jay. Clearly. Are you just going to rape me over the coals? No, but we will rake you over the coals. Oh, geez, Jay. Why would you rake coals? It don't make no sense. Why would you rape coals, Jay? Well, because you've got to hold them down, Mike. You write me. M1 Sam I am. Oop, excuse me. M1 Sam I am from San Diego. Are you there? Here. What happened? Like elementary school in the high school.
Wow. That's the exception. Yeah, I mean, that's so, like, that is a very specific thing. I mean, that's awesome. That's rad. That is as awesome as it gets, bro. Hell yeah. The only reason we stayed friends was because we both were married, and so that's probably how it, you know, I had things for her first. How was that first kiss? It was amazing. I bet. 10 years. You've been waiting 20, 15 years for that kiss. Did you ever want your first wife, or did you always want her? That is a monstrous question. Please answer it. Please answer it. Oh, gosh. LRB, that was the greatest question I've ever heard in my life. Oh, thank you for asking. Thank you.
Thank you for being honest. M1 Lauren from San Diego. Hi. Hi. Mikey, when you were, like, pretending to be the girl, that is me. That's you. Me too. Yep, and you got the fat friend, and you... Yeah, yeah. 100%. I do it all the time. And he's super funny. I'm not currently doing it, but I used to do it all the time, all the time. Yeah, and you knew they liked you way before they ever said it. In fact, I mean, that's the worst part. Like, you know. Yeah, you know. And then finally the schlub gets drunk enough where he's like... Don't... Hey, we're friends. You don't know what I'm going to say. Just listen to me. Just freaking listen to me. I want you to freaking listen to me. Should we go see what everybody else is up to? No, I want you to listen to me for once in our friendship.
That's right. Our friendship. For once in our friendship. Such a good friend. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And do you want to know something? I don't think I do. Do you want to know something? Why don't you talk to me when you're sober? Because I want you to listen right now. Oh, gosh. Listen. You know it and I know it. No, I don't know anything. Yeah, you do. I know that you're a great friend. You know what? It's freaking time that we both quit pretending. I'm not pretending anything. Hey, I heard the other day that all great marriages begin with friendships. I don't want to get married. Unless Ted wants to get married to me, which I would definitely consider that. Ted's a douchebag, man. Yeah, I know. You're always dating guys like that. I always go for the bad guys. Listen to me.
Let's go inside and talk with everyone. Cynthia! Yes, Martin. By now, I'm holding her forearms. By now, I'm holding her forearms. She can't get away. Martin, you're hurting me. I am not. You're acting like a weirdo. I'm not going to go anywhere. Just let go. She's going to run. I want you to listen to me. Okay. We have been friends for... We've been friends for six years. I know. And I am in love with you. I'm in love with you. Yes, I am. Stop it. You're drunk. Oh, I hate you. No, you're not. You're not. Thank you. Thank you very much. No, I am. No, you're just drunk. He's out of breath. He's out of breath. That poor guy. And when she says, no, you're just drunk, the dummy thinks to himself. She doesn't believe me. She doesn't get it. I've got to convince her. I should talk louder. I should talk louder. I should scream. I'm in love with you. You stupid bee. Oh, gosh. It's been you, right? It's been you. That is word. I have goosebumps. Yeah. Yeah.
And the reason that you really want the guy to shut up is because if he doesn't shut up, you don't get to keep doing it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not it. It's not my fault you fell in love with me, Martin. Listen, it isn't about you not wanting to hurt him. What it's about is, listen. If you say you love me, I've got to acknowledge I don't love you. Yes. And then I don't get to feel all of the. But I really think that you're really funny and like fun to hang out with. But just I'm not romantically interested. You know, this can't work the other way. A guy will never have the big fat girlfriend. Inevitably, he'll always sleep with her. Oh, yeah. Inevitably. Guys aren't like, oh, you're in love with me? Oh, that's really cool. Come hang out. No, they're like, all right, well, I mean, I think I can get it. I probably will. Because women are more emotional creatures. We're more emotional creatures. We like that attention with our... Oh, yeah, you do.
No, I'm just genuinely, I get along better with guys. Oh my gosh. I do. You are a vampirist. I'm not. You're a vampirist. You're Bella. You're Bella. You're Bella. And you suck the love right out of their necks. I don't. And you know they're in love with you. They are in love. No, no, no. And you know it. And you don't say, listen, I know what... is happening here. And I need to let you know. They're ruining it. Because they would run away. They're ruining it. They're smart. Just be my friend. Oh, God. Because I'm fat! No, because I like your friendship. I like your breasts. I like you. I love you. I want you. Guys and girls can be friends. Go find someone else. I like how you always take me and you always pay for dinner, even though I've never even touched you. No, that doesn't happen. Hey, I told you the Stephanie story when I was, oh gosh, this is so bad. I've told it. If I didn't tell it here, I'd told it at kiosk. Dude, this is so humiliating. I can't wait.
I'll wait. I'll come back. I'll tell you the most humiliating story. You've had a bunch, pal. Oh. I have a bunch. But you've got the 80s super bitch down to a tee. Full Alexis Carrington Colby mode. More from the Mikey Show coming up. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pants. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. This is the FM Concert Calendar.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out, like Thursday night, Stephen Malkmus and the Jixxer at the Belly Up. Saturday, it's Rocktoberfest at West Coast Tavern with Everest, the Sawpack, Bully, Lowalvolts, the Creepy Creeps, and a bunch of other bands. Manchester Orchestras at House of Blues on the 26th. Lemonheads play the Soda Bar on the 29th. And November 5th, it's Guildfest, where we'll be celebrating the FM 94.9 9th anniversary bash. Matthew Sweet, Telekinesis, the Stone Foxes, and 32 local fans. breweries pouring their finest at the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival at Liberty Station. And still to come, City in Color with Hacienda, Black Joe Lewis and the Honey Bears, Morrissey, the Blackheart Procession, Peter Murphy, Dinosaur Jr., Pinback, and even a Mute Math show at 4th and B, February 3rd, 2012. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Over 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has been pushing the limits of what is possible, unveiling groundbreaking innovations year in and year out. And this year is no exception. Introducing the all-new 2012 M-Class. Capable of monitoring blind spots, scanning the road for trouble ahead, and alerting you if it detects that you're drowsy, the all-new M-Class, with a completely redesigned, more luxurious interior, is one of the most advanced SUVs on the road today.
The M-Class is part of the 2012 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest vehicles in the luxury car class. An SUV so refined, inside and out, you have to experience it to believe it. Lease the 2012 ML350 4MATIC for just $639 a month for 30 months with $4,934 due at signing. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services or participating dealers through October 31, 2011. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-F1-MERCEDES for all the details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, and Hohen Motors in Carlsbad. Hey gang, this is your old pal L.O.B. Your old pal Woodsy. How are you? I'm good, I'm good. We want to talk to everybody about LASIK with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Yeah, you know, I went to a show last night, L.O.B., and I could sit in my seats, and I went down to the floor, and I was looking at the stage, and I'm like, you know what, I can see.
crystal clear. I've got 2015 vision in both eyes. Yeah, so you didn't have to get down and get close to the stage with your VIP pass because you could have seen from where you were. Yeah, I mean, you know, I know some people and, you know, like record reps and stuff. Yeah, so it was pretty cool. I got to go down the floor and, you know, if I had to sit in my seat, it still would have been great because I can see clearly. I can play baseball now. I can go surfing. I don't have to worry about contacts and it's just such a, like, less hassle in my life. Honestly, the best thing that I've done, and I know that a lot of times we say things like that, we are oversellers on this show, but it really is one of the best things that I've had done. And you can get in there yourself. Go get a free consultation. Call 858-452-3937. Or you can go online at www.clearvieweyes.com and check them out. It's Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. So you blew it. You ate the donut. You slept in and skipped your workout. You had that second helping. Went a little overboard at the buffet. Hit the candy jar at the office a little too hard. Stayed up way too late. You forgot to put safety first. You didn't eat your vegetables. You didn't even open that bottle of vitamins you bought. You accidentally left your gym bag at home. Your favorite machine was broken at the gym. Instead of your water bottle, you chugged a two liter of soda. You couldn't help yourself. You had a craving. Or you simply couldn't resist. But you know what? It's okay.
Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. One slip up isn't going to undo all that good work. So don't be afraid to embrace your setbacks and do whatever it takes to keep trying. At Kaiser Permanente, we believe the more you keep trying, the better chance you have to turn bad habits into good ones. Because we think it's never too late to thrive. Keep up the good work at kp.org. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip.
Price and participation may vary. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Now with a one in four chance of winning prizes, cash, or a free one-night movie rental at Redbox. Monopoly at McDonald's. The simple joy of winning. See McDonald's for details. Many locations now open 24 hours. It's 7 a.m. and you're making breakfast. Little did you know, you just bought five high-end turntables. And yesterday, while you were mowing the lawn, you purchased your very own rhinestone-covered denim jacket. Looks like someone's being pretty generous around the holidays. Funny thing is... It's not you. So when you want an easier way to deal with the hassles of fraud this season, we're with you. Because with a Wells Fargo debit card or credit card, you're covered with zero liability protection, which means you won't be held responsible for any unauthorized purchases or ATM transactions if promptly reported. We'll also help protect your money by monitoring your account for unusual activity. And you'll be happy to know this built-in protection won't cost you a thing. So if tomorrow you happen to withdraw money from an ATM at 4 in the morning, and you can't remember the last time you even stayed up past the evening news, rest assured you won't be held responsible. Call, click, or stop by today to learn more about our zero liability protection. Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. It's go time at your Toyota dealer. They're here now. The cars, trucks, and SUVs you really want. With great deals on every new Toyota. Go for zero APR on a new 2011 Corolla. The best-selling compact in America.
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Do you have an emergency supply kit that includes things like non-perishable food, water and a first aid kit? Do you know your route for an evacuation? Have a plan for you and your family. Are you prepared? If your answer is no, get prepared at SDGE.com slash safety. SDGE.com slash safety. You can't predict when something will happen, but you can be prepared. This report is brought to you by... Preparation H. New Preparation H Totables discreet little tubes packed with big relief. They're the anywhere Preparation H from the brand doctors recommend most by name among leading brands. A lot of fog still sticking around different parts of San Diego, and that visibility is less than a quarter of a mile in some spots. It's going to be around for another 45, 50 minutes. Five southbound ramp to Imperial Avenue. We've got a pickup truck that's stuck in the middle of lanes. Also, watch out for a bunch of nails here on the 15 northbound. It's right before Friars Road. They're in the center divider. This report also brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday. Taco 9 at Del Taco. Get three regular tacos for $1.09. Three tacos for $1.09 at Del Taco every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
Like 60 of those rings are on her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. It was years ago. I worked at KCBQ. My feelings were hurt by a gentleman that worked there one time because he referred to me as the penguin. Yes. Wow. Well. I was. Quite heavy. Harsh. I was quite heavy. Let's get the right music on for this. Really need the right music. To kind of set the mood. If you know what I mean. It's one of those moments. Look at L.O.B. She's a freaking monster. What? Covering her mouth with a skull. She's covering her face. I'm sad. I'm sad for you. So, there was this girl.
Who started working at the radio station. She was an intern. Her name was Stephanie. This is what I remember about her. She had blonde hair. And she would wear jean shorts. You know, like short ones. She had very tan legs. And was definitely out of my league. But at the time, so was Rona Barrett. Roseanne Barr. Stephanie, 1 to 10. A very solid 8. A solid eight. And you at the time? I was a solid, without exception, three. Okay. Now, I felt, I'm a morning guy. I'm a morning show DJ at this radio station. Yeah. Before I had come to the radio station, they were ranked 26th. And then I came on to the station. And within a period of eight and a half months, we went to number one.
In the morning. And I really felt puffed up. Literally. Yes. Should have eaten so many donuts. Maybe you wouldn't have felt like that. Proud. Just say proud. Proud. Proud. Proud works. So I found out that Stephanie was single. And I asked her to the movie. I remember the moment. I was pacing in my room. I had a room. I shared a home. With a bunch of college students. I was pacing. But I was very confident. And I said, hey, you and me, we should go see The Lion King. I think it was just coming out. It's about 94. 94. She said, sure. We went and saw The Lion King. I was very funny. I was giving it all. All I had. I mean.
I was pulling out all the stops. She was laughing. At one point, I remember her being, I drove a truck. At one point, I remember her being in the truck and saying, stop, I'm going to pee. And she was laughing so hard. You're on top of the world. I'm seeing butterflies and stars. If I've told this story before, I don't think I've ever shared this. I used to imagine proposing to her from a helicopter. We had a helicopter at the radio station that we used for traffic. Much like ours here. We don't have a helicopter. That's right. And so I pictured in my mind, I imagined that I would ask if we could, you know, I would explain to them that now, you know, that Stephanie and I have been dating and that we were, I wanted to propose and that I knew where she lived at San Diego State.
And I wanted to use Jet Thunder 2. And, you know, actually live on the radio. Stephanie, can you come outside? Stephanie, come outside. It's me, babe. This is my fantasy. This is what I meant. Thank you. You look beautiful, too. Thanks, babe. I'm so in love. Hey, listen. We've been dating now for a year and a half. A wonderful year and a half. The best year and a half of my life. Mine too. And I have decided that I want to take it to the next level. Will you marry me? I just have a question for you. What's that? What took you so long? Yay!
Ratings go through the roof. And then you both wake up. So here's what happened. We go to the movie and I'm flying high, man. I think I got this one. So she invites me over to her house. And I'm thinking, what if I have sex? After the movie? No, no, no. Oh, different time. Different time. What if I have sex with... The best looking girl in San Diego. There is no, in my mind, there was no better looking girl in San Diego at the time. I probably weighed 225. No, 255 pounds. Went over there, dressed in my cool, you know, homemade jeans or whatever. And we went in her room. We went in her room. She pulled out a box. Pulled out a box.
It's like a shoebox. Uh-oh. And she said, I want to show you something. And I thought, this little kinky minx has been saving up letters or something. There's something in there that you're going to want. We all have a shoebox. Fuzzy handcuffs, maybe. Who knows? It could be anything. Whatever it is. Massage oil. I just wish you'd opened that thing up 20 minutes ago. Get it open. So she opens it up. And she proceeds to... take out stacks and stacks of photographs. She's digging through it and finally finds her fat redheaded friend and lays the photo down on the bed and taps it and goes, guess what I'm going to do. And I said, and now I'm kind of figuring it out and I'm getting pissed. Very. Then I go, what? I'm going to fix you up with my friend Stacy. And I go, are you freaking kidding me? Did you use freaking? No. I used a different one. And she goes, what? And I go, why do you want to set me up with her? And she goes, excuse me? Why do you want to set me up with your friend Stacy? Because she's the coolest person in the world. And you're the coolest person in the world. Like right in the nuts. And I go,
Yeah, well, I'm not interested in her. Why not? Because she's fat. You did not say that. Oh, I was mad. I was really mad. And she goes, how dare you? And, you know, that's what she's waiting for. She kicked me out. She kicked me out. Here's a fat guy, morbidly obese, saying, because she's fat. I know a lot of people are going, well, what happened? Did you ever get in that chopper? Did you propose to her? No. No. Work was very uncomfortable. That's what I wanted to know. How was the dynamic after that? We were both really young. I was like 23, 24. I didn't say she was fat. I said, you know what I said? I go, let me ask you a question. If I was a really hot friend of yours, would you be wanting to set me up with her?
And she goes, what are you talking about? Oh, really? What are you talking about? You're so coy. I was furious. Just tell me you don't like me. Yeah. Don't set me up with your BFF. Did you ever get together with the BFF? Just because you knew it was a shirt thing. Once or twice. It reminds me of the time Mike... I'll never forget that picture, by the way. Oh, I'm sure. I can describe it. She had red hair. I bet she had a really pretty face, though. She was at Buca di Beppo in the picture. Feasting. Feasting on family style. Raviolis. Just throwing down stuffed mushrooms. You guys would have had a lot in common. Reminds me of the time, Miguel, that I was recruiting a guy. Quit laughing so much. Gosh, this is the favorite part of her day. I had a manager that had a lisp, and he would call me and go, hey, I just had a really good interview, and he had a lisp. Sent a guy in, dynamite guy. Freaking qualified to the ninth. Calls me back and goes, hey, I just interviewed your guy, and I think I'm on a path. I said, why are you passing?
It's because he's got a speech impediment. I can't have a guy that's got a speech impediment out there closing business. And I'm like, are you kidding? I was like, all right, cool. And I was like, it was in Long Island. It's the hardest place to recruit in the country. He goes, the guy's got a speech impediment. Oh, my gosh. He's like, is that a fact? That's weird. That's a fact. Yes, that's a fact. I need more candidates. People can work through it, I think. I think I've seen it happen. Yeah, I think you're a manager at our company. You know, Woods, it's probably a good idea for you to think these things through before you just start offering people. You can't just send resumes, okay? Because my time is very valuable. Think how awkward it would be for the customer to be just... Sitting there talking on the phone to someone that has a list. Exactly. I mean, we are, at this point, we're trying to close multi-million dollar deals. That's right. What's the person on the other side of the phone supposed to do when someone has a list? They're going to be sitting there and they're going to be sitting there themselves. Am I supposed to take this for real? That's all I can concentrate on. Yeah. You know what I did? It was one of the, when you get off the phone, the multiple slam down.
It's one of those. Oh, man. Genius. Oh, boy. Mikey, how many girls did you almost propose to? It was a fantasy. It wasn't like I was going to propose to her. It's a valid question. Dude, I didn't even kiss her. It's a valid question. It's a legitimate question, Mike. It seems like there was a legitimate question. It seems like there was a lot. I had different fantasies about girls. Yeah, I wasn't going to marry all of them for sure. You didn't have a fantasy about marrying a girl? One. I had a fantasy about the other way around. Still living it, really. Oh, gosh. The old white horse bit. At this point, you take anything. No white horse, no castle, no nothing. Just take a white piece of paper with the words, will you on it. You would take a piece of white paper fashioned in the shape of a wedding ring at this point. You would take a white Honda. I would take a white horse hair. As a symbol. With micro writing on it that said, will you? Yeah. Sign me up for that. For those of you that are new, L.O.B.'s been in a four-year relationship. That's true. I've tried everything. She has. And my answer to you is yes. I have that pre-recorded just in case I ever need it. And my answer to you is yes. This relationship's taken a long time. Longer than it's ever been.
These possible reactions pre-recorded. Yes. I'm never going to have to shave or wax again. When you get married, that's true. That's actually a true statement. That is if I get laser hair removal. L.O.B. That's the machine that removes the hair. L.O.B. Yes. When Matt asks you to marry him, are you going to tell us? Is it going to be a production or do we get to know right away? It's not going to be a production, I'll tell you that. Will you text us? No, she will not. I would text you first thing. I think by then we'll probably be doing some sort of telepathy. You know what I mean? By the time that happens. So far in the future that vaudeville will be back. I'll be able to just blink three times and you'll know. We'll have been together for ten long years. Well, by that time, Mike, Jake will be driving you here. Yeah. Cars will actually fly, so I'll just fly over and tell you. Clearly. You know that breaks my heart, because I know if Matt asked her this weekend, she wouldn't tell us until Monday. It makes me mad. I know. Wouldn't it be better? I've thought about it. I have too. I've thought, it's going to make me mad when she waits and tells us. I'm not even going to be happy for her. I'm going to be like, I'm going to go, I'm going to go.
Why wouldn't you tell? I'd be happy first for you. How would you guys prefer it? We'll read about it on Facebook. Right away. After you call your parents, you text us. After you call your parents, I want you to text us. Okay. Well, I'll remember that. I don't know if I'll remember, though. It's going to be a long time from now. Because I'll tell you what. She's gone home a couple times, and I'm like, in my head, I don't say anything out loud. In my head, I'm like... Is this the time? You say you don't say anything, but then every time I come back, you say it. Yeah, then you say it. You come back, but when, in fact, you do say it. But not before. Matt walked in with flowers after Mikey thought. And I was like, did your heart start beating? I was like, here it is. Mine didn't. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, I was happy. Oh, you poor bastard. No, no, no, no, no. Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt. That came out the wrong way. I just mean... I just mean I know him and he knows me and he wouldn't come, you know, after I've been tired and in a public display go do that. I just knew he was coming in to be sweet. I knew it wasn't, you know... Almost every time I see Matt...
I'm like, I think this is it. Yeah, yeah, me too. I mean, we could be at all of Garden, all meeting here, and I'll be like, I'm pretty sure. When she went home the last time, I didn't hear from her at all, and I was like, this is it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know, weird. And so I texted her, and I think I texted her something like, well? Like, question mark, question mark, question mark. She's like, nope. Rebecca said to me one time, out of the blue, Lauren's engaged. And I go, what? Because you were home. And I go, what? And she goes, She's engaged. And I go, what are you talking about? What is she talking about? And she goes, I know. And I go, how do you know? She goes, she just posted a picture of her and Matt. And they look really happy. We are really happy, you clown. I know. But she said there was this look on both of your faces. I know the exact picture.
It was in front of a pond, wasn't it? Yes! The same picture. That was the one! That was the one! What was it? It was like a thing. A bay. It wasn't a bay. It was like a pool or a water. A lagoon, maybe. It was a lagoon. Well, other mother called me over the weekend. Save it. Save it. Save it. Save it. Save it. You got something worth adding to the monkey show? Text them. at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now, 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Eight bands outdoors. San Diego Rocktoberfest returns to North Park in four days, Saturday at 30th and University. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest, supported by Beck's. Live music from Everest. The Softback.
The creepy creeps, dead feather moon, bully, the style tones, low volts, and the heavy guilt. Get your German party on with German beer, German food, and other German stuff. Grab your tickets now at FM949SD.com or at SanDiegoRocktoberfest.com. Just 15 bucks in advance, 20 day of. Rocktoberfest at 30th and University this Saturday from FM949. The young men and women who become United States Marines come from our hometowns to become a part of something greater than themselves. This commitment represents the highest level of steadfast allegiance to the betterment of our communities, our country, and our Marine Corps. Today, KSON in San Diego would like to honor Gadel Lopez Hernandez of Chula Vista. We're proud that one of our own is taking the first step to becoming a United States Marine. The journey will be one of the most challenging, but also one of the most rewarding. The few, the proud. The Marines. Halloween means it's time to scream. And now, buy $10 worth of select Coca-Cola products with your Ralph's reward card, and your family could be screaming with delight because you'll have a chance to win four Disneyland Resort Park Hopper passes, plus four passes to Mickey's Halloween Party 2012. Get refreshed with Coca-Cola, and you could experience wicked fun for everyone at Disneyland Park. No purchase necessary. Voidware prohibited by law. Restrictions apply. For rules, visit your local Ralph's. Coca-Cola.
Open happiness. Hi there, this is L.O.B. here to talk to you about Ovation Cell Therapy. Recently, one of my male friends, who will not be named, was telling me how great Ovation is working for him. L.O.B., this is great. I don't know what's going on. My hair's soft. I know. And don't forget that it's stronger. Yeah, yeah. And it's shiny. I know, Woods. I mean, person that will go unnamed. It's the advanced formula from Ovation, which is an even better product than the original cell therapy system from Ovation. ovation worked for me it worked for my unnamed friend who despite any similarities does not Like going to concerts but wish they weren't so expensive?
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Visit SDCountyBMW.com for details. October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And, of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Do you run? You want to feast on something? And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that.
That's fearlessraces.com. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say, use some imagination. I mean, roses? Billy? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter spa treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Rincon, we get you. After all, life is short, and it should be played or smelled for all it's worth. Harrah's Rincon. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Luis Samuel Indians. Managed by HCal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars License Company, LLC.
There's only one place to go and one name to know when you need the right auto part, NAPA Auto Parts. Sign up at your participating NAPA store for an I get a discount card and make sure you're always getting the best quality parts at the best quality prices. It's what's called NAPA know-how. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your participating Toyota dealer has a $25 mail-in rebate for any True Start or True 2 battery installed. Why wait? Visit the experts. See your Toyota dealer.
for details. Well, we've got the 15 northbound before Friars Road. Bunch of nails still in the center divider there. An accident here on the 15 northbound at Scripps Poway Parkway. It's a car fire. It's blocking that right shoulder. It looks like you can see flames from a little car. And in Escondido on the 15 northbound ramp to Old 395 Highway, an overturned car. This car went over the side off the freeway ramp. They've got an ambulance responding for injuries. This report also brought to you by Children's Advil. Nothing brings your child's fever down faster, keeps it down longer. Choose Children's Advil. Relief you could trust. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom. Nobody wanted to go with me. Lauren. I'm a control freak. If I watch other people do things that I'd rather do, I'm like. Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. All right, L.O.B. Explain it. So we were talking about, before we went to break, we were talking about how L.O.B. has been in a relationship for four years. And she will eventually marry this man. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. She will eventually marry this man. But her mom does this bit with her that she's done with her since she was about 14 years old. And it's Other Mother. Yeah. And how does Other Mother talk?
I probably can't sustain it for as long as she can, but she says, Hi Lauren, it's me again. That's always her opening line. I love you, me. Now that is actually a recording. We got her to do it. We've had her call in and do other mother. And she leaves me messages. It's another persona. She leaves you messages. What did she say? Well, this time she called me and I was in the middle of... Sitting with Meryl from Belly Up, who was trying to give a quote to people. And my mom called as other mother. But I felt bad not picking up my mom's phone call. So I was trying to say, hey, can I call you back in like 10 minutes? And she's like, why don't you love me? And I was like, mom, I got to go. And she's like, who's mom? Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Explained so much. So then I eventually called her back. And she talked like other mother for a little while. You seem thrilled. Hell yeah. I can tell by the way that you just told us that, that it was the favorite part of your day. If you ignore it, does it go away? No. I have not found a tactic to make it go away. Lauren's 30 years old. I have not found a tactic to make it go away. What if you just go, la, la, la, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
All right, Mom, I'll call you back in 10 minutes. Bye-bye. So good. And she said other mother, my cousin got married this past weekend, and my aunt Eileen, who listens to The Mikey Show, I'm one leanie beanie. was telling her how I was sharing my story about how my mom on my 13th birthday didn't let me order. Really? From the adult. Yeah. And they were having a good laugh at it. And my dad was like dying laughing. And she said, you should have seen other mothers. She was so embarrassed because she's like, I, of course, don't remember that happening because I wasn't there. That was other mother that did that. Oh, my God. Yep. And she's like, yep. And then she was like, she was like. Your mom was telling you this story. Yeah. That she had had a good laugh about it. At other mothers' expense. With your aunt. Yes. And she's like, you should have seen other mothers. She was so embarrassed. And they were just giving it to her left and right. Yep. Lauren says to this day her mom doesn't acknowledge that it happened. Right.
Yeah, she was like, she's like, I mean, I guess it could have. I guess it could have. But I wasn't there. Other mother was there. Lauren turned 13, was able to order off the adult menu. It's all she could think about. They went to the restaurant. Lauren got to pick it. Got to pick the restaurant. They go there. And her mom denied her ordering from the adult menu. Made her eat the buttered noodles. Instead of the chicken parm and fettuccine Alfredo. And the fettuccine alfredo. Oh, that sounds so good. From the adult menu. Even though you were now, according to the restaurant, an adult. Because it was 12 and under for kids to get from the kids' menu. Now I was 13, so clearly one would assume now I get to order up the adult menu. Rite of passage. Quit crying, Lauren. You're lucky you got anything. When I was a kid, we didn't get to go anywhere. We used to eat paste. That's hard. Is that all you ever do? It's just complain? You ever bitch about stuff? And then she said also that other mother further went to embarrass herself at the wedding because we have a really big family, big Irish family, and some friends of the wedding were there and said, did you hear that Lauren got engaged? But they were not talking about me. They were talking about a different Lauren, Lauren McGrath. And they said it to my mom, who flipped out apparently, and was like, what? Oh, wow. She didn't tell me.
Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. But then she blamed it on another mother who must have lost her head. Yep. Something else. Apparently my mom thinks that she wouldn't be the first one to know. So you know this man better than anyone. Is he going to surprise you legitimately or will you see it coming? You know him so well, there's no way you can't see him. If it's going to come, I believe I will see it from a mile away. However, he's gotten me one or two times. It might be what's taking so long. It might be that he's just got a lot of stuff in the works. There ain't no way he's getting it past this girl. There's no way. It's hard. There's no chance. It's hard to do. There's no chance. You can't get it, Pat. You can't lie to her. She'll get you. Yeah. Yeah. She sniffs out stuff. Oh, my gosh. She'll riddle you until you have to give her the answer. Yeah, fine. Let's get married. I mean, the good thing is I'm to a point where, like, I guess I'm kind of, like, hopeless. So the good thing is, like, I'm not really anticipating anything. So it's kind of worked in that way. My head is in my hands. I know. I know. I've been beaten down to such a point that it's like, ah, well.
Woods just went into his coffin. He just folded his arms over his chest. This is my shtick. If I ever get married, I've got nothing. Yeah, what are you going to do then? I'm staying single for the jokes. That's the bit. Well, then you can do the kid bit. Ah, yes. Because we can't have kids, so it's awesome. It's a cool deal. Sometimes, you know, your adoption falling through just isn't that funny. Yeah, I agree. My mom asked me yesterday how Woods and Rebecca's adoption process was going. I was like, you mean Jamie? Oh, my head. I just blew a gasket. She goes, what did I say? I'm like, oh. You know, L.O.B., I'm only going to tell you this. I'm only going to tell you this because you said that. But the other day, my mom, who has Alzheimer's, asked me how Skye is doing. How is Sky doing? She said, how's everyone on the show? And I said, good. And she said, I listened the other day and you guys were really funny. She said something that we were talking about. And she said, how's Sky? Oh, mom. December 17th, 2009. December 17th, 2009.
they decided to form their own show. Took my name right out of it. And took my name out. And just move that other part over. Yeah, just put it over. Font change. Font change. Cut. Paste. No, no paste. Cut. Trash. Yes, cut, trash. Font change. Select, delete. Yes. Backspace. I didn't know. I didn't know. Backspace. I thought we were the five musketeers. Suddenly we were the four. Easy backspace. Easy backspace. Hey, if we just take that out and just backspace, what, three times? Would you be okay if we started calling you backspace, Mike? Oh, sure, sure. Oh, sure. We should call you delete. Backspace. How about the one musketeer? Is that good? Yeah. The one musketeer. What about one man is an island? What about the lone wolf? The lone ranger. How about... You're screwed now, Mexie. Feed those twins now, Mexican. Figure it out. Good luck with the fam. Hope you know some talented people. And Merry Christmas. One is the loneliest number. I'll say it is, dude. I'll certainly say it is. One. The lonely number. One.
One is the loneliest number that you ever knew. Mike, he had to pack his crap in a little shoe. Tiny. He drove his car home and tried to figure out what to say to his future boss. And then he called him and said, Hey, remember how we had talked about bringing the Mikey show? Well, now it's just the Mikey. And that is all. Do you still really want me? Do you still really want me?
Do you still really want me or should I just move? Did you... I have a question. Yeah. Go ahead. Lauren. Tell me if it's too much. Lauren. Did you call them that day? I texted them immediately. No, no, no, no. I mean day as in 94.9. Oh. Did you call your... I was... I just got off the exit ramp of... The 52 West on to the 805 North. And I just hung up with Rebecca. And I knew I had to call Rick immediately. I knew I had to call him immediately. And so I called him. And he answered the phone and said, and I quote, is it good news? Oh, dagger. And I said, kind of. And he goes, he goes, oh, and I go, well, my old my crew, they decided that they were going to stay over there. But I didn't know. And so I'm I don't I'm on my own. I don't have anyone. I thought we were I didn't know that they were going to do that. And he said.
Oh, wow. That changes things, doesn't it? But he was cool. I mean, he was just calm, collected. He was cool through the whole thing. TG. Thank God. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then the next day, we had to do a conference call with all the big guys. And they were like, so do you have any idea what happened? No, but I can let you call them if you want. Maybe they'll call you back. Sucks. Yeah, I was having to come to terms with, you know, my fault in it, my jerkiness in it. And it all played out for the better for everybody. But, ooh, what a weird time. All things change. I hate that that happened to my boy, but I'm kind of glad it did. Yeah. Wouldn't be here. Wouldn't know you guys. That's right. That is a true story. I wouldn't be Hollywood. You wouldn't be Hollywood. I wouldn't get to talk about Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center.
You wouldn't have gone on the TV show Wipeout. That's right. I almost wish that I wouldn't. I would probably be a $50,000 richer. My hair wouldn't be longer than it's ever been. Yeah, Lauren's hair wouldn't be longer than it's ever been. Longer than it's ever been from Ovation. I wouldn't go to Dave & Buster's and play Papa Shot on a Sunday afternoon and get paid for it. I wouldn't be running in the Fearless 5K on October 29th. Sign-ups are still available. I wouldn't be the MC banding together. You can get your tickets at bellyup.com. Yeah. Donate an instrument. I wouldn't be taking 20 milligrams of Lexapro. Find out more at Lexapro.com. Wouldn't you be taking, in fact, 80 milligrams of Lexapro? Side effects may include, but not limited to, diarrhea, obesity, Mexicanism. Spontaneous weeping. Spontaneous weeping. Tortilla rolling. Looking like a sumo wrestler. Snorting enchilada sauce. Right from the jar. Hungarian nannies. Give me some. I was going to say that. Me too. But then, you know, Jay just does. Hello, Miss Lady. Weird. How about you? Delicious. I got a carrot for you.
Stretch it out. Lauren! Lauren! Lauren! It was okay. It was in J voice. It's okay. It's in J voice. J on the golf course. Golf course. Alright, pick your poison. Let's do this. This is a game for the fellas. Me, Woods, and that guy. I forget his name. What's your name? It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Remember when we were friends? Remember? You're my underling, okay? Okay. Sarah Jessica Parker or Renee Zellweger? It's easy for me. I like the smile with the squint eyes. Renee Zellweger. I, too, will go with Renee Zellweger over the long face. Which face? Yeah.
Yeah, Renee. Identical. Identical Renee's all eager. Hang on. Some days her face, I mean, her eyes are more open, though. Yeah, but sometimes Sarah Jessica Parker looks prettier than others. Oh, that's just. Jay, no, Woods. Come on. L.O.B., share your gift. Jay, who would you pick? Renee, for sure. Renee. Yeah, she's not a witch face. Yeah. Even with the mole removed. By the way, in order to get L.O.B. to instantly cooperate, Woods said, and I quote, Share your gift. Share your gift, Ella V. I have no makeup on. It's like Sarah Justice Parker. No, that's identical Renee Zellweger. Identical Renee Zellweger face. Stop saying Zellweger. It's Zellweger. You had me. Hello. Share your gift, Ella V. You're awesome. This is so great. Give me another one. All right. Madonna. You can say anything. You can say Al Roker at this point. I'll take Roker.
Demi Moore. Demi. Oh, 100%. Demi. She's wounded. Oh, yes, I know. We love that. God, we love that. You want the wounded? Oh, yeah. I was seduced by Ashton. I boned Ashton Kutcher. Oh, God. Man, it's inappropriate, Mikey. This is a family show. Ashton Kutcher. Who? Ashton Kutcher. Do you mean like Ashton Martin? Is that what you're trying? He is a good friend and a lover. Ashton Kutcher. I was seduced by Ashton. Really? Did you guys go out to dinner? What did you eat? Oysters. He is a good friend and a lover. You ate what? Oysters. What is that? Oysters. I know. I heard you. But what is it? Oysters. Like moisture? Oysters. So it was like there was moisture in the air. Oysters. Out my head. Out my head. What did you guys do together? Video game for the...
Nintendo. I need more to battle with. What was the movie, the TV show that you watched? It was like in the 70s. A couple guys were in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that, Jay? 70s. Tim Conway, Don Knox. Didn't you watch some like girly singer-songwriter or something like that? Yeah, Jay. Didn't you do that? What was it? No. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Was it Taylor Swift? Swift? Swift. I think it's pretty relevant that you were hanging out with her. I suppose you're going to make fun of my faith now. Doesn't it say that I shall not kill? Well, that's a low blow, Jay. That's a low blow, Jay. That's very low, man. Field gold kicker. I want tacos and burritos.
Whatever you think you know about this man is a reverent. I guess it's a reverent. A flea flicker. Joe Montana. Oh, man. The guy. I know it. I know it. We have new releases next. New release, as Jay calls it. I'm going to kill you. You're dead. This is the Mikey Show.
On FM 94.9. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts present the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. Saturday afternoon, November 5th at Liberty Station. Celebrating FM 94.9's 9th anniversary. And the kickoff to Beer Week. Featuring two stages of beer-soaked live music. On the local 94.9 stage. Family Wagon. Dead Feather Moon. The Bloody Hollies. On the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. The Stone Foxes. Telekinesis. Matthew Sweet, performing his landmark girlfriend album in its entirety to celebrate its 20th anniversary. Taste beers from every corner of San Diego as we showcase all 32 members of the San Diego Brewers Guild pouring their hoppy, malty, and frothy best. Tickets are on sale now.
Go to FM949SD.com or SDBW.org for more details. Good food, great beer, and rock and roll. See you Saturday, November 5th at Liberty Station for the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival with FM949. With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Right now, get $2,000 cash allowance or 0% APR financing on the 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. But hurry, visit your SoCal Dodge dealer today. EPA estimated MPG. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Scream. Everyone surrounding you will be screaming too.
Because you'll all be surrounded by Halloween's most hideous creeps and freaks in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds. Yes, you can run, but you can't hide. They can. Prepare to embark on a journey to the dark side of Halloween. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your fright. Final destination, the Scream Zone. The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone. Now, through Halloween, climb aboard the Haunted Hayride or enter the House of Horror or the Chamber. Three terrifying ways to scare the life out of you. For hours, tickets, and information, visit thescreamzone.com. Located on Highway 101 is the charming community of downtown Encinitas. Take the coaster or hop in the car and explore all the locally owned shops just a stone's throw away from beautiful Moonlight Beach. Half Price San Diego invites you to visit award-winning detour salon and store on the corner of E Street and Highway 101. Discover quirky style and urban energy at detour salon and store. Affordable and trendy women's clothing, accessories, jewelry, and gifts compliment their well-trained professional hairstylists. A hip hairstyle or lifestyle, you'll love their style.
Detour is recently under new and improved management, which has taken detour service and style to a whole new level. Showing off your new hairdo, stroll through downtown Encinitas to a spa oasis at Breathe Health & Wellness, offering relaxing massage and skin care. Let Breathe Health & Wellness pamper you with a therapeutic massage and relaxing foot scrub or the signature pumpkin facial. Sit on the patio and soak in the sun before your personalized treatment. Check out breathehealthandwellness.com for a list of all the rejuvenating services. Explore downtown Encinitas this week and check out Half Price San Diego. For great deals to local businesses. What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans, 28,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide, and exceptional customer service. It's banking for the common sense crowd. Open an account today at missionfed.com or stop by any of our 22 local branches. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line.
All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is an equal housing lender and is federally insured by the NCUA. Romano's Macaroni Grill. Today's lunch looks like it's all business. They both got today's soup, but he got the classic Carmela's chicken, and she went for the new Caprese Panini. Just two co-workers getting out of the office. Although, the way they're sharing dessert, this lunch may not be all about last week's numbers. The new choose-two lunch combinations with soups, salads, pastas, and sandwiches. Only $8.50. It's something new. Something classic. on the new menu at Romano's Macaroni Grill. That's the sound of the Jeep celebration event. And just what are we celebrating? Well, Jeep Grand Cherokee is the most awarded SUV ever. And the 2012 Jeep Wrangler has an all-new powertrain with improved performance and fuel economy. With a refined, quiet interior and best-in-class maneuverability and ground clearance, it's the most capable Jeep Wrangler ever. And with some great deals, we expect a lot of sparks to fly.
The Jeep Celebration Event, featuring the newest lineup of trail-rated SUVs. Lease the 2012 Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $309 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees at your SoCal Jeep dealer. Tax, title, and license extra. EPA estimated fuel economy 17 city and 21 highway for Wrangler two-door. Actual results may vary based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease to ally. Take retail delivery by 10-31-11. Cheap as a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Brides and Grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the Del Mar Fairgrounds Sunday, October 23rd. It's the Bridal Bazaar. Meet more than 200 exhibitors with everything you need for a perfect wedding. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Let's get to the point. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. I've laughed so much today I have a headache. You should talk about something serious now. New releases are serious. That's true. It's a heart attack. That's right.
Let's do it. All right, Ben, you ready? Yep. Slow day today. Chris Isaac has a new, it's a covers record out. It's called Beyond the Sun. As good as he is, that's like listening to karaoke. I know, dude. I listen to clips from every song on there, and there's great songs on there, but I'm like, I liked it when Elvis did it. I liked it when Roy Orbison did it. Yeah. It was fine. Why do people get lazy in just two covers? That's super lazy. Especially talented people like him. I know. He's very foxy, too. Oh, wow. Everlast has a new record, Songs of the Ungrateful Living. I would have produced that record different. Way different. He has a really cool, in my opinion, I think he has a really cool voice. I think he has a very unique sound. But you have to do something to it so that it doesn't, so that it feels a little bit more like scotch and less like sandpaper. Yeah.
That's like moonshine. Yeah. Yeah. You want nice aged whiskey. Yeah. And he's capable if you do the right things with the microphones and the processing and all that. I like him too, man. I dig Everlast. Just bought this record on a break. It's Jane's Addiction's new record, The Great Escape Artist. It's good. Always love those guys. Always. And then that's it for the... The CD's out today. On DVD, the new Pirates of the Caribbean is out today. Never seen one of them. Me either. And the new movie with Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, Bad Teacher. I'll probably watch it this afternoon. Oh, boy. Kid likes mindless comedies. You don't worry about it. Sorry, it's not in French.
I don't watch, remember? How did I get thrown into this? Don't you? I think he was talking to me, but then he forgot that I wasn't. Both of you. Both of you. You're movie snobs, and you know it, and I'll say it proud. Yeah, but you watch stupid movies. Yeah. I watch good movies, too. I'll watch anything. I don't just dismiss it. No, you don't. B.S., you don't watch everything. No, I don't watch foreign movies or subtitled movies, because I'm American, and I like Budweiser. And girls. So, if that... Yes. Okay. If that logic makes sense... then you wouldn't like the Rolling Stones. They're not from here. No, it's different with music. Just like it's different with music. Why? Because music is... They can still make great music even though they're not from the States. Rock and roll is universal. Cinema is not. In fact. Cinema is not. In fact. Some of them are better. Yeah, yeah. Some people from England that are musicians are better. Rock and roll is universal. Cinema. It's not. Okay, well, wait. Does that mean then... What about a British guy? If a British guy made a movie... Yeah, Guy Ritchie. He makes pretty good movies. Well, wait a second. They're not subtitled. He's not from the United States. They're not subtitled. So... Subtitles. Okay, okay. But I just want to understand. Yeah, yeah. Because... Okay. So, Guy Ritchie makes great movies. They're not subtitled. Let's say he spoke a different language. Okay. Does that make the movie sort of confusing? Yes.
It does? Yeah. What if the same movie, you could press a button and have it be English overdub? Be fine with that. You would? I was fine with it when we watched U51 or whatever it's called. What was it called? Das Boot. Das Boot. Yeah, I was fine with it. Remember at the end, I made you put it on, and I was totally cool with it. I didn't like reading the subtitles because, you know. You don't like, but you love to read. I love to read, not when I'm watching a movie. That's why I don't read and watch a movie at the same time. Okay. All right. I think I get it. Suck it. But that does not support the case for movies like Horrible Bosses and Bad Teachers. Horrible Bosses is a funny movie. There's some funny parts in it. Well, it's for guys. It's a guy movie, I think. No. It's stupid. It's not stupid. It's great. You'll love it, Jay. Who'd you hear it from, Jay? Me. Much friends would have seen it. Cedar Rapids. Cedar Rapids. Brilliant. Terrible. Brilliant. John Reilly. If John Reilly's in it, it can't be bad. It can't be bad. Do you like Talladega Nights? Yes. Brilliant. I didn't bother with it. See? Snop. Not a snop. I didn't even bother with it. I saw the previews. That's enough to not sell me. Freaking brilliant movie. If the previews aren't funny and they put the best stuff possible in that, that means the movie ain't funny. They put the best stuff in the previews. I got a sleeper for you. I watched this weekend with John Riley and you know who I read? Jonah Hill. You know who Jonah Hill is? Yes. He's a super bad. He said his favorite movie of all time is called The Promotion.
And I'm like, what is that? I've never heard of it. It's John C. Reilly and Sean William Scott, who played Stifler in American Pie. I was like, oh boy. It's about two grocery store guys going for a promotion. It's so dark and black. Jonah Hill goes, I have it on DVD and I hand them out to people because John Reilly's that good in it. And it's a pretty mindless comedy, but it's also very brilliant. I like mindless comedies as long as it's funny. Oh, it's funny. Like, Superbad's pretty mindless, and that was genius. That was pretty funny. I like comedies, as you know, when I don't see it coming. You love the smart comedy. No, no, no. Because I don't think Step Brothers is smart comedy. That's true. But when he starts talking to his dad in the kitchen in the beginning of that movie. The old bull. I didn't see that coming at all. Look, she's had the old bull, okay? What if she wants a taste from the young calf? Yes. All right? Yes. My chest pubes and my ball throw. Okay. I didn't want to necessarily... Yeah. Didn't you? No. Rewind. Okey-doke. Reset. I'll just get it up to 88, huh? Just get the DeLorean right up to 88 miles an hour. And we'll just go right back in time. I never finished watching that movie because I saw it in the dentist's office. You need to watch it. Yeah. Oh, boy.
Did we miss any new releases? Did we get them all? All the ones of note, I believe. 570-1949 is our number. And if you'd like to text us, it's 949mikey at gmail.com. How's our chance? Let's do it! More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. It might seem hard to lead a healthy life today, but it's easy when you practice the ancient art of on-the-side-ism. Let's start with salad. Just have the ranch, the Roquefort, the Italian, or the Thousand Island on the side. Put the mayo on the side of your turkey sandwich. And leave the butter and sour cream as optional equipment on your baked potato.
On-the-side-ism fears no sassy waitress, snooty chef, or emasculating comment from a friend. And it isn't just a way around the menu, it's a way of life. It's a towel. So go ahead, work those long hours at the office, but make sure to have some playing with the kids on the side. For every hour you're stuck in traffic, make sure you have a minute of bike riding on the side. Zone out in front of the TV, but go out dancing on the side. It's an easy ideal to practice, but at Kaiser Permanente... We think this mantra of moderation can have big-time results on the way you look, the way you feel, and the way you thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. It's go time at your Toyota dealer. They're here now. The cars, trucks, and SUVs you really want. with great deals on every new Toyota. Go for 0% financing and save thousands on eight of Toyota's best-selling models. Get zero APR on a new 2011 Camry or Prius. Zero APR on a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even zero APR on a new Rev4, Venza, or Tundra. So hurry.
Go for the selection. Go for the savings. Go for the deals. Save thousands with 0% financing on eight of Toyota's best-selling models. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Offer excludes Camry Hybrid. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualified Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 1031.11. Hi. This is J.C. Thomas, and I'm leading SDG&E's emergency preparedness efforts. From high winds and earthquakes to landslides and wildfires, natural disasters can strike without warning. That's why preparing for an emergency should begin long before one happens. We can all do our part to be ready. At SDG&E, our crews are replacing wood poles with fire-resistant steel poles. To improve reliability, we've also installed remote switching technology on power lines. And we have an air crane firefighting helicopter ready to give vital support to firefighters working in remote areas. You can do your part too. Start by having a personal emergency plan for your family. Also have an emergency supply kit on hand that includes things like non-perishable food, water, and a first aid kit. And know your evacuation route. To find out more ways you can be emergency prepared, visit sdge.com slash safety.
Policies issued by American General Life Insurance Company, Houston, Texas. Not available in all states. For details, visit matrixdirect.com. Sometimes I worry about what would happen to my family if I lost my job, but I never really thought about what would happen to them if they lost me, and I didn't have life insurance. My cousin's husband died, and now she might have to sell her house just to make ends meet. I don't ever want to put my wife through that, so I called Matrix Direct. Hi, I'm Brent Langdon for Matrix Direct. We partnered with American General Life to find you their lowest rates on term life insurance products. If you're 40 years old and married, we could find you a quarter of a million dollar policy for less than $16 a month. Call now for a free, no obligation quote. 1-800-551-8505 I feel so much better now that I called. It only takes five minutes to see how you could save up to 70%. Call now. 1-800-551-8505 1-800-551-8505 I was car shopping with a dream in mind and reality in my budget. But with the unbelievable rate I got, I could shoot for the moonroof and the five-star dream car.
It's not your wild imagination. This rate is real and only at Navy Federal. Right now, get as low as 1.79% APR in new cars. Plus, use our auto buying program and save even more. But a dream rate waits for no one. It's for a limited time and only at Navy Federal Credit Union. Grab your chance to upgrade your dreams for the car you really want. Apply today at NavyFederal.org. Rates based on credit worthiness. Your rate may differ. And this is Ethel Herbert, Your Majesty. Ethel was in charge of catering for today's garden party. Were you ready? much enjoyed your cucumber sandwiches how does one go about making those frank's red hot sauce your majesty i put that on everything i say frank's red hot sauce goes on anything it's aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos pizza wings pasta chicken steaks chili even once cucumber sandwiches frank's red hot i put that on everything original inventive latest and greatest there are lots of ways to say fresh And Mercedes-Benz is yet another. Take the 2012 C-Class. With its aggressive body styling, completely redesigned interior, and more fuel-efficient turbocharged engine, the C-Class sedan boasts over 2,000 refinements. And now all that you'd expect of the C-Class sedan is available in a two-door, the all-new 2012 C Coupe. The C-Class sedan and C-Class Coupe are part of the 2012 lineup for Mercedes-Benz vehicles, the youngest and freshest in luxury car class.
Now lease the 2012 C250 sports sedan for just $349 a month for 30 months with $4,009 due at signing. Available on native qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services at participating dealers through October 31, 2011. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, and Hohen Motors in Carlsbad. I want to hear... Okay. And now back to... The Mikey Show. Come on! With Mikey Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be guy-ish. Woods. But I'm super gullible. Lauren. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody further inside. Jay. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Oh, great. Hope I like the warm-up act. On FM 94.9. Song was number one about 157 weeks in a row. Just suicidal? I think this is the saddest song ever. Yeah. I love it so much. When I was single and kind of dating my wife, Jamie, I would almost look forward to the breakup so that I could listen to this and feel it, the pain. Is that weird? That's weird. You're looking at me like I'm weird. It's like, you know what that reminds me of? Because I know a lot of people that do that. And to me, it's like, oh, man.
I have the worst sunburn ever. I gotta get to a sauna. I know. I gotta get to a sauna. Get me to a sauna. Hey, you do it too. You do it too. I only recently did it. Really? Yeah, dude. I'm being serious. Like in the last six weeks. Yeah. Bro, you know what I would listen to when I was sad? ACDC. Oh, really? Yeah. I've never done that. Yeah, because it got me. How could you be sad? I was avoiding it. That's true. I was avoiding it. I'm a big wallower. Yeah, I like to bathe in sadness. I'm an avoider. I'm an avoider. I take my own tears and just wash myself off of them. Yes. Oh, man, not me. I'll be like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sad. I can't be sad if I listen to stuff like that. I can't be sad if you listen to that. It's true. You know what I mean? It feels good to be sad sometimes. Yeah. I never want to be sad again. Gotta let it out or else it goes somewhere else. I don't want to ever be sad again. I don't want you to ever be sad again. Thank you. You guys are so sweet to each other. Hello B, you want to go to lunch today? No. Weird. What if we go get something healthy? Sure. Really? That's going to be the bit. Is that right? We'll have to eat healthy. Yeah. Forget it. Now we're out. She knows how to go to yoga today. Yeah. I would do it if it meant I get to hang out with you guys. Yeah. Oh, let's go. Choose fitness if you guys want to take like a Zumba class with me. I didn't bring my workouts.
I didn't bring my Zumba gear. Otherwise, I would. I would never take you guys to a yoga class. I wouldn't go. Because you guys would be obnoxious. Yeah, I wouldn't go. They would throw you out. They probably would throw you out. We would be so obnoxious. Or if you could breathe. God, it's venom. You know what? It is venom. It's so spitty. F-U-J. You're a jerk. And, hey, listen. I'll tell you this about yoga. Everything that everybody's ever told me about yoga. This is the impression they've given me. Smells like farts in there. Hey, this doesn't come from me. I've never been in a yoga room, obviously, in my life. And this is what I've heard about it. This is what I've heard about it. There's people sweat everywhere. They put their feet in your face sometimes. Bare feet. Bare feet in your face. It smells like farts. These are things...
Never smells like farts. It doesn't. People don't fart in there? People don't fart in there. Rarely. I've heard the opposite that they actually do on the reg. I could say that I've heard there's one girl who did, but that's it. Yeah, I've heard it a couple times. But it never smells like that because it's like a heating. No, Jay, why would a fart smell if it's hot? You can always say it smells like farts here because Woods farts continuously every day. And I've had his bare feet in my face. It's just like yoga class. Identical yoga class. Studio M, identical yoga class. Be good for you. Minus the mats. I was saying it with kind of an angered... Take on it because I would love to challenge you guys into doing something healthy for a change. That's true. That's right. Don't worry about us. You worry about yourself. Yeah. You got a plate in front of you. Eat what's on your freaking plate. Yeah. Don't worry about what's on mine. So you guys want to go do a healthy lunch or? I'll go get a salad. Oh. A salad? Yeah. I like salad. Ew. What do you have against salad? It's gross. It's ranch on it and cheese and ham.
I don't think gross. That grosses me out what you just said. Salad with ranch and ham. I picture wet ham out of a package that's like, you know. Wet ham. Yeah, wet ham that's all uniform. Yeah, it's in the end of a can. It's Danish. It's in a Danish can. You can get a good salad. Can you? I'll make you one. Oh, I bet. With a garanzola cheese. Says the guy who eats menudo. Yeah, man. I like what I like. He's Mexican. You like what you like. You leave us alone. Guys, constantly. You guys are the ones that try to force feed me every day. Yeah. Literally. Just want to hang out with our friend. Yeah, we just want to be with you. Okay, well, let's concede to go. Where are we going to go? Let's split the difference. What's healthy? Healthy? Yeah, define that. Where's there a restaurant that's got healthy food? We can go to like Swami's Cafe. Oh, that's delicious. Oh, you guys could help. There's all kinds of good stuff to eat there. How about Chipotle? Is that healthy? I like Chipotle. I wouldn't put it in the unhealthy. Well, let me tell you something. If we went to Chipotle, I wouldn't order healthy. Nor would I. But at least we're all there together. Yeah. Maybe we go to a place where there's healthy food, but Woods and I can get something we like. I had an amazing salad last night. What was it? We were going to the Foo Fighters show. Yes.
Went to Kensington Grill, and we got there, and apparently the Foo Fighters had just left. They had dinner there. But I had this, yeah, I know, bummer timing. Gosh. It was arugula, chopped mango, gorgonzola cheese, and crushed hazelnuts or some kind of nuts on it. I woke up thinking about it. I don't like fruit and nuts in my salad. Love arugula. I do. Love nuts in my salad. I don't like it. I just don't do it. Just because I said nuts. Just because I said nuts. Yeah. In your salad. Toss it. Toss it. Six minutes. He will giggle about that all day. Oh, he will. He'll be sitting there with Jasper. I said nuts. Hey, look. Wood likes nuts in his salad. He likes them so much. He loves them. But it was so good. It was so good. All right. Good salad. If we can get you to lunch by going to a healthy place, then that's what we'll do. That's what we'll have to do. You guys are real worried about me going with you. Well, we thought we would get out of there without a fork in our neck. Plus, don't you have like 8,000 fans that you have to go attend to? That Jay, he'll get you even off the air. How many times do we say to Jay, we're not on the air?
Yeah, we're not on the air. Not on the air, Jay. Really? Not on the air, Jay. Jay, we're not on the air. Funny, it seems like the Jay voice continues after we get off the air. A couple times. We've done it a couple of times, we have. A couple. And then, uh, oyster, I think I heard that yesterday, and Aston Kutcher. Yes, okay, yeah, a couple of times we did. We said that... Oysters. Yes, we did. It's true. I don't hear the problem with that. That is true. That's what makes it brilliant. Yeah. My friend. My so-called friend. Hmm. If you had to rank Oyster, Irrevolent, General Populish, Joe Mantegna, Flea Ficker, or Thou Shall Not Kill. My number one is and always will be Irrevolent. Yeah. Whatever you think you know about this man is Irrevolent. Irrevolent. That's the greatest. I guess it's Irrevolent. Our fans are screaming for a soundboard. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They want a soundboard in the worst way. We should give it to them. Well, I don't know. Do you know how to make one, Chris? I don't know how to make them. I mean, I know we got listeners that would know how to make them. If we supply them with the, if we supply somebody that's in the know of how to make them with all the little clips.
They could probably do it. And people would sit there all day long, and they would... Doesn't it say that I shall not kill? Or if somebody just wants to put together a show for me, I'll do a show, just the Jay Show. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. What do you mean by put together a show? I'm talking about... Like Clear Channel, if they're listening? Or Lincoln Financial. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it. Let's take it out of context. Video game for the Nintendo. It should be like, we should make these alert tones for your phone. Yes. I would love that. I would too. Yesterday we captured his laugh. That's serial killer. It's about to be. Alright, I think I'm done. I can tell when I have caged him and he's ready to attack. No, no, no.
And I so badly have more I want to hear. Maybe just one more. All right, one more, that's it. And then after that, no more. 70s, Tim Conway, Don Knox, flip. Don Knox. First time he said Don Knox, Woods and I had tears rolling out of our eyes. Don Knox. What? Don Knox. Keep saying it, please. It was one of the greatest moments ever. Yep. You can't relive it. There you go. This is how you... Strengthen your immune system for flu season. You eat more protein in every meal. Rebecca. Jamie. Vegetarians. Number two. Eat five cups of fruits and veggies a day. That's laughable. Well, guess I'm not going to have an immune system. Me neither. It's tomato sauce count. There's lycopene in tomato sauce. It's really good for men especially. That's what I need. Lycopene.
Have your vitamin D level checked. You know why? Because most of us aren't busy. And the healthcare system is really easy to navigate. It's so easy. I had mine checked, actually. It's low. You really did? I had everything checked. Hi, is this the doctor's office? Yes. I'd like to make an appointment. I'd like to come in and have my... Vitamin D level checked, please. You should have everything checked. Blood work is key. But I don't want to. I don't want to. Ignorance is bliss. I have it checked every year. Your vitamin D level? Well, they do a physical and they check it all when you do a blood test. Early detection, my friends. You could be diabetic. Hey, when do you have to get the prostate checked? 50. When do you have to or when you get to? When are you supposed to? When you're 50. 50 now. I even upped it from 40. So that's a good thing. Unless you have a history of it in your family, and then you're supposed to start at 40. But you do, I believe. You're just saying that. I swear. No, I swear. It's true. You should get in there. Are you saying that? That sounds true. Yeah. It is true. Oh, you're 41. You should probably get in there. No, you better get in there. You should probably get audio of it, too. Yeah. It won't be a big deal. It will. It'll be a real big deal. It will actually. Just another Friday night.
I'll be back tomorrow. All right. Well, I guess. Here's what I have coming up. Yeah. What do you got, Hill? What do you got coming up next? Well, I grabbed two out of the three bands that rocked. Everybody's face off. And I have so fun. Also, a band whose record's out today. A band who's getting ready to put out a remix album. Bread. That's bread remixed. New music from City in Color and Noel Gallagher, some Beastie Boys, some Pinback. All kinds of good stuff. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. Mike shows up.