The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/19/10

2:10Welcome to Mikey's show. And we've got open phones for you. You want to call us? You can do it right now. 570-1949 is our number. 570-1949. Love to talk to you. Let's see. If you want to text us, it's 949mikey at gmail.com. And if my brain is operating a little slow today, it's because I'm on a lot of cold medicine. Nice. Yeah. Thank you. A lot of fun explaining to your kid how to cover his cough. You know, it's a learning process. Learn slow. So he doesn't cover the cough, and then Dad gets sick. Oh, boy. Yeah. Thanks. Oh, boy. Thanks, Jakey. But I'm doing good. I wish I could just prescribe myself, you know, doctor's notes. I know exactly what I need to clear things up. I wish we could do...

3:31this show from our respective beds sometimes. Yeah. You just lay there with a mic and like a screen. Why not? Maybe someday. It would be pretty rad. What's he looking sharp in his black eyes today? Really? He does. I'm going to see a lady friend after work. Are you? Yeah, her name's Sienna. Oh, yeah. Did you see her yesterday? No, we're going to see her today, both of us. Oh. Yeah, I thought you guys were going yesterday. I couldn't go and I still can't because of this. Cold. We didn't get a lunch until like 3 yesterday. Yes. Happy birthday. We got off the air at 10. You know what time I rolled in my driveway? Two. I kept this 15 minutes because I had to meet with HR. About 401k stuff. Again, happy birthday. We'll just sit here and just wait it out. I know. Sorry. Well, the funniest part about the meeting with HR for your 401K is you had no idea. If your wife hadn't shown up here, you would have missed the meeting. Yeah. You know what I said during the meeting? What? Nothing. Nothing. Not a word. Why did you even have to go? Why didn't she just come and knock it out? I don't know. You didn't have to be there. I know. She did a lot of talking, and they were talking about stuff that had to do with grown-up stuff. There was no reason for you to be in that room. Grown-up stuff. You're only going to make it worse.

4:59Dude, I heard them talking about, you know, money markets and I heard them talking about- Aggressive investments. Elections. Aggressive portfolios. Mutuals and, you know, yeah, I just sat there. Just do whatever it is you got to do. That's my philosophy. Just let me know when you're done and I'll just sign wherever you need me to X or whatever. You know what was going on in my head? Full time. Really? Clown. A little slow today, Jay. I hit it. It didn't play. All right. Hit it. You know, if Diddy, if Sean Puffy Combs were to meet that man and they were going to record that professionally, I'm telling you, Diddy would be like, can't do anything to it. It's perfect. It's gold. Maybe he would change the lyrics.

6:16Maybe, but I don't even think that. I think he'd say, this is perfect. I don't want to touch it. You can see him smoking crack upon a daily grind. Yeah. Cat crack. It's one of a kind. It's one of a kind, and it's dangerous. Yeah, don't do it, kids. So, 7.30 this morning, we have a guy calling in that was on the scene yesterday. He was driving. He happened to be driving right there when Junior Seau went off that cliff. So what's the story, Woodsy? Dude, this was like, we talked about it yesterday. It happened. We didn't. It happened after we got off the air. Amongst ourselves. Right. And it happened pretty soon after we got off the air. And I guess somebody had even called in and told us about it. We were like, eh, we're going to have to check that out first. With like two minutes left in our show. Yeah. You know, because it's such a big story. Chargers linebacker, future Hall of Famer, Junior Seau, beat up his girlfriend. This is alleged now. I'm not going to start pointing fingers, but he beat up his girlfriend and shoved her around, pushed her around. She had minor injuries. It didn't require medical treatment, so I don't think it was anything super crazy. Got arrested, went to jail, bonded out, and drove his car off a cliff. Right after he got out?

7:43Yeah, pretty much. He said he got out about 12.20 a.m. on Monday, and then it doesn't say exactly when he drove that car off the cliff, but man, what a nutty story. Well, his attorneys are saying that he did not attempt to kill himself. What's the first thing we thought? Yeah, his attorneys are saying that he did not attempt to kill himself, that he fell asleep at the wheel. You know, the only thing that strikes me... as unusual about that is that, well, I just put myself in the same situation and I go, well, if you've, if you've assaulted your girlfriend and you go to jail and you post bond and you get out, it's not really, um, physically, I don't think it's the kind of the time where you're like nodding off. Yeah. I think that emotionally it's a time where it's, sleep is going to be hard to come by. Uh, and

8:48it would make sense that somebody would be trying to kill themselves because they're overcome with grief over what's happened. And they're, you know, that's just one man's thought. I want to know what you think. 570-1949. What do you think? What do you think of the whole situation? 570-1949. I'm sorry, but the thing I was going to say that I didn't mention is that they're not filing any charges against him for driving his car off the cliff, which I was super surprised by. I mean, that's something. You did something wrong. You can't just drive your car off a cliff and nothing happens to you. Yeah, you would think there would be a reckless... Something. Driving. Yeah. Endangerment. Endangerment, definitely. You know? It's ridiculous, but it does say sometime later Monday morning. So he was arrested at 1220 a.m. Monday. He was released on bail. And then sometime later that morning is when he drove it off the beach at Carlsbad. The only defense would be I was wondering what time he went off because if he just didn't have any sleep and then he was just sitting in a jail cell like pacing or going through questioning or all this stuff, then maybe he was really tired because he hadn't slept all night. Yeah. I mean, it's.

10:05I thought suicide. First thing I heard. That was the first thing we all thought, yeah. Got drove off a cliff. And now people are saying, I've heard people say, well, it's not a very big cliff. I don't know, man. I looked at it. It looked very big to me. Looked big to me, too? I wouldn't go over that thing in my car. No. No way. And if somebody said, what do you think would happen if you did? I'd say you'd probably die. Absolutely. Yeah. Somebody goes, it was no big deal. It was like a hill. I'm like, that wasn't a hill. Didn't look like a hill to me. And they showed there was a picture on the news. They had the tire tracks going off of it. And it showed like the, you know, the distance off in the background and then the drop. I'm like, dude, that's. And if he was going as fast as they say he was. Yeah. Forget it. No fence. No nothing. Cliff. Cliff. Now, you know, I guess the thing that is upsetting, too, is the, you know, if it's true, is the. domestic violence. That's the worst part of the story. The whole thing's sad. And what I mean by that is that it's sad that somebody is a wreck. That's sad to me. I know that, you know, even if they're hurting somebody else, it means they're a wreck. They're a wreck. I'm just sad for both of them, man. Her first. Him second. But I'm sad for them. It sounds like he's a wreck. And that's sad to me. And it also is one of those deals of like,

11:32You know, I know there's most of us go, well, money will buy happiness. If I have money, I'll be happy. No, it doesn't. It's the same person. You just, you know, he's not happy. He's clearly not a happy guy. Yeah. And he's probably loaded. Yeah. He's not happy. You know, they said drugs or alcohol were not a factor in the incident, which very much surprises me, man, because the incident happened yesterday. Yesterday. And they're already saying there were no drugs and no alcohol. It takes six weeks. That's what I read online. That, I mean, they maybe didn't smell booze on his breath, but they got to do a blood test. And they're just like, nope, he's good. He's fine. Which really surprised me. Well, what I read was that they're awaiting test results. See, right here it says, look. This is CNN.com. No charges against ex-NFL star for driving car off a cliff. No charges. It means no charges. There's no charges as of today. But if those toxicology reports come back that he was under the influence, charges will be filed. Police in Carlsbad, California, said Monday night that drugs or alcohol were not a factor in the incident. It appears Mr. Jr. say I was tired and fell asleep at the will, said Lieutenant Bruce May. No charges. No drugs, no alcohol. I'm sure of the toxicology, but...

12:49If he was in jail, they probably would have given him a breathalyzer before they even released him, right? They gave him a blood test for sure because they have to. Trust me. Just trust me on this one. Kid knows what he's talking about. Yeah, I had read that, that they were waiting six weeks for the report. That's what I said until I saw this thing this morning. I was a little surprised. Okay, but Woods, if it comes back positive. Then he's probably in trouble. Yeah. But this guy said there's no charges. Yeah, I guess right now I guess they didn't have any immediate evidence. And he didn't have any in his possession probably. M1AK from Point Loma. Are you there? Yeah, yeah, I am. Go ahead. First of all, I just wanted to call. I love your guys' show. Thank you. Mikey. Thanks, man. Jay's my older brother. You know, man, I just want to let him have it. You know, I really actually do believe he probably did, man. But, you know, you're right. It doesn't matter where you are in the economy of things. Health is an issue that America has not addressed and people suffer.

13:55Thank you. Thanks for calling. There are times where we talk to people where I wish that I could see exactly where they're sitting, what they look like, what kind of phone they're on, the whole thing. That was one of those times. The marijuana cigarette that's burning in the ashtray? I don't know if there is. I don't know if there is. You know. It's always possible. I just know he said Meng. And when you do that, you usually... I think I caught two Mengs in there. I think I did too. What up, Meng? Come on, Meng. Come on, Meng. Come on, Meng! It's the best. 570-1949. M1 Hawk. Woodsy's dad. Hey! All the way from Dallas. What's going on, Hawk? Usually my timing really stinks. We're going to get to that story later, my friend. Yeah, we'll be talking about the game in just a little bit. I'll be fine. I'll keep an eye on him. I'm over it. Thank you. See you, Dad. Thanks, Hawk. The old man's worried about me.

15:31M1 cave dweller from Wisconsin. Morning, Mikey. What's going on? Not too much. How are y'all doing? Good. I'm a biopsychology major at college in the town that I'm living in. Easy big time. I just wanted to throw a little thing out there on the junior stay-out situation. Football is becoming, well, they're realizing more and more that people who play a long time or do take a lot of head shots, they're getting. some brain damage. And this can lead to an increase in violent or impulsive behavior. And, I mean, we might be seeing this out of a future Hall of Famer. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I guarantee you it does. I guarantee you it does, man. You see all the time that these guys, their quality of life and the way that they are deteriorates so much after they're done with football. I don't know. Mike Singletary isn't doing this.

16:30Yeah, but Mike Singletary, I mean, he's probably the exception rather than the rule. I don't know. He did take his pants off in the locker room. You think when you see him on the sideline, prowling the sidelines, does he look like he is just a real stable guy to you? Yeah, he does. Come on. No, well, what's the opposite? He looks unstable to me? I mean, he's on the sideline. And he looks unstable? No, I mean, he's not running around babbling or anything, but he gets real fired up, and he's very aggressive. Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of coaches do. Sure, but I mean, I think there's validity to what this guy says. Actually, I just said that, but I didn't really think about it, because when I think of Singletary, no, he usually looks really somber all the time. He's always like... You think? What if it just enhances their... Already their aggressions or whatever you already have going on. What if it enhances them? I don't know, but it's going to be a big question now because of what's happening with these. Right now, biggest story in sports is about these hits. Hard hits. This weekend was a weekend of really hard hits in the NFL, and they're really taking a long, hard look at it.

17:46Freaking Deshaun Jackson. It looked like he got shot. I mean, he was laid out by Donta Robinson. And it was one of the gnarliest sits I've ever seen. Me too. I mean, one of those ones that makes you kind of sick to your stomach when you see it. Yeah, it does. Another Josh Cribs got knocked out by James Harrison of the Steelers. And then what's the one I saw too? Oh. A die? No, it was Brandon Merriweather. from the Patriots safety, hit Todd Heap, led with his helmet, and literally kind of whipped his helmet. It looked like he whipped his helmet around and made sure he got helmet to helmet on Heap, and Heap was out. And they're saying, hey, listen, it's getting ridiculous, and we're going to have to start suspending people for this stuff. I mean, I don't necessarily agree. I mean, I think you should get suspended if you lead with your helmet, but I don't think you can change the way that... You play the game, and that's what they're talking about doing. Yeah. The guys that – they always say if you play cautious, you're going to get hurt. That's when you get hurt. Yeah. Is if you hold up before hitting somebody. That's when you get hurt. And if you can drive through them, hit them clean, you're going to be okay. But obviously not all the time. Well, I heard some really good arguments for and against rule changes. You know, to the point where I was like, well, I'm kind of on both sides of the fence. Right. It's hard to really be definitive about it.

19:10You don't want to stop them from playing the game. And at the same time, you don't want to see guys get really hurt. I think it happened to be a bad weekend for hits. If one of them had happened, probably wouldn't be such a big deal. But three of them happened, maybe more, all in one weekend. And it was pretty bad. But one of the things that I heard from Matt Mellon before the Monday Night Football last night, he's like, if you're hitting a guy clean, just normal. the way you're supposed to hit him, and the guy that you're about to hit just happens to tense up and turn his head, you're helmet to helmet. You didn't intend to be helmet to helmet, but because your opponent turned his head, now you're colliding helmet to helmet. But if you can determine things like intentional grounding and stuff like that, can't you determine intentional helmet to helmet hits? Yeah, you can determine intentional helmet to helmet hits. No doubt. But what they're trying to take away is... aggressive, a gray area. That's why it's such controversy. Real aggressive hits. Now, you can do a real aggressive hit legally that turns into something that looks not legal. Yeah, absolutely. And it'll become that if your opponent turns his head. Yeah. He gets hit in the head. I mean, you'll see guys hit guys low and they bitch about that because it's like, oh, you're going to take my knee out, you're going to ruin my career, and then you hit them high and it's, you know, you're going to...

20:35rip my head off. I mean, they teach these guys to be like mercenaries, you know? I mean, that's their job is to make sure you hit that guy so hard that snot comes out of his nose and he doesn't catch that ball. And that's what they do. And then they get fined and they get punished and the leagues, you know, the rules get changed. It's just wild. It's just like the karate kid where he told him to sweep the knee. Exactly. The guy's knee was bad already. He was bad. Sweep the leg. Sweep it. Sweep the knee. Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Lawrence? No sense. I don't. You had to do it. You had to. But, I mean, the bar is getting raised every year, and the athletes are just getting more and more just phenomenal. So maybe they're trying before it gets out of hand to just kind of put the kibosh on it. It's pretty gnarly. Okay. What about the weather last night? Holy cow. Weird. You know what they say? They say that today alone we're supposed to get, like, an inch of rain. An inch of rain.

21:38Yeah, they're saying it's possible to get an inch of rain. What was the last thing we had an inch of rain here? I don't know. For a while? Were you enjoying your breakfast when all the lightning and thunder was happening, Mike? Yeah, it was probably, what, 2 this morning? Uh-huh, 1.32. Oh, my gosh. I mean, just crazy thunder and lightning. It rattled my house. Yeah. My home rattled. Yes. Did Rebecca have to come down and hold you? No, she asked me to come over. She goes, will you come here? And I started laughing. I walked over, and she was, like, confused. She goes, what's going on? I love that. And I kissed her. I said, honey, it's just thunder and lightning. It never happens here. I have only heard maybe two seconds of thunder since I moved here. It scared the crap out of me last night. I wished it was like 8 o'clock at night so I could have listened to it all night while I slept. If you see lightning, count how many seconds it is until the thunder comes. Why is that? Because if it gets more and more, if the time gets... Further and further apart, it's moving away. If it gets closer and closer, then the storm is getting closer. And that's how I told her. I said, don't worry, it's going away. Because you'd see the big lightning flash, and then it'd be five seconds or something, and then it'd be seven seconds, and then it was longer and longer. It's going to be crappy for the rest of the week. Yeah. Just awful dark and rainy. Big rains today, tomorrow. Good thing I got out in the water this weekend. Yeah, me too. LLB.

23:07Terrible, right? Terrible. I kind of like it, though. You like rain? It makes for good and happy weather. I like it. I just don't like it all week. It makes for bad road conditions. Positive side, it's going to look gorgeous because it's going to make everything all green. Save me money is what it's also going to do. You don't have to water your lawn. Yeah, my $3,000 a month water bill, it feels like. Hey, the word of the day today is doorstep, and today it's worth a pair of tickets to see Vince Vaughn and Kevin James in the Comedy Roadshow. that's coming to town to the Balboa Theater on November 18th. So that's a pretty awesome prize. Will happen sometime between now and 10. You'll hear me say the word doorstep. And when you do, Caller 9 wins that prize. Vince Vaughn and Kevin James Comedy Roadshow. I'm like the perfect combo of both of those guys. Wow. You put those two together, you get me. You gotta go and try to meet him with. I think I will. Depending on what night it is.

24:06Yesterday I called my shot. I said that the Rangers had absolutely no chance against the Yankees. Was I right in my prediction? Woods will tell you next in Woods on Sports. And we might be expecting a call from Woods' dog, Senior Bean, so hang on. So we got a guy calling in one hour from now that had Junior Seau speed past him yesterday when he was going over that cliff. I wonder if he looked like he was asleep. I don't know, but we will talk to him. This guy grabbed a fire extinguisher, had a hurt leg, couldn't go down the hill, but was there for the whole thing. Crazy. Exclusive interview happening at 7.30. Tweet people, let them know. You can follow us on Twitter, Mikey Show, and then our name.

26:02Mikey Show Mikey, Mikey Show Woods, Mikey Show Lauren, Mikey Show Sienna, Mikey Show Jay. We'd love for you to follow us on Twitter. And that's going to be happening at 730. Don't forget the word of the day is doorstep. And when I say it, it's worth a pair of tickets to see the Vince Vaughn and Kevin James Comedy Roadshow on November 18th. So get ready. Yesterday, I said that the Rangers, I said, I didn't think the Rangers had it. against the Yankees. We'll find out if that prediction held to be true. What is happening, Woods, with the Happy Meal thing? What's that story with the Happy Meals? I'm seeing it everywhere. Well, I don't even know how to feel because I like McDonald's, obviously. You look at my physique and your physique, you and I have had some McDonald's in our day. In our day, yes. And they took a Happy Meal, a burger and fries. Who do you think has had more Happy Meals, me and you or LLB? Dude, come on. We've had more Happy Meals than she has hairs on her head. I had a lot of Happy Meals as a kid. You did? Not as many as we did. Trust me. I have breasts, so. I do not. You should have eaten some Happy Meals, LLB. Dude, they left a Happy Meal out and photographed it every few days for six months, right? Mm-hmm.

27:28Leave a couple pieces of bread and some ham out. See what that looks like after two days. This thing did not change appearance at all. No mold, no decay. Preservatives. I'm like, oh, boy. We, Friday night after the Deftones Alice in Chains show, we didn't eat before, so we stopped by McDonald's. And I had heard this story. I was like, oh, God. Immediately when I ate cheeseburger, I was like. I feel like crap. I feel like crap. This is terrible. What's in it? What's in it? But I don't know, man. That's pretty gnarly. I wonder what they have to say about it. I don't know, but it tastes good. It tastes real good. It tastes delicious. I get something so right. It feels so wrong. Yeah. It tastes so good. A neutral food scientist who they talked to, they said he blames it on low moisture rather than anything dastardly. You ever find a fry in your car? Yeah. After eight years. You ever eat it? It's humiliating. After eight years, tastes just as good. See, mine are always like shriveled up and hardened. They don't look different. I mean, they do look different. In my car, they do. In my car, they look the same. They look the same. Maybe there's a lot of moisture in my car. They taste the same, too. Not a lot of moisture. I don't know. Hey, by the way, L.O.B. Yeah.

28:56What were you Facebook statusing yesterday when you said something about moths? Oh, my gosh. You were screaming in your house? Yesterday was horrible. So I noticed these little tiny moths in my house, like tiny little rectangular ones. Yeah. And there was like one on the wall of my bathroom, one over by the washing machine, and one over in my kitchen. And I live. The way that I live, for some reason, moths just, like, are always outside my front door. I don't know because there's a lot of greenery or what they like. But every time I come into my house when I've got the outside light on and it's nighttime, I'll, like, sprint in because I'm like, no! And I swat out and I don't want the moths to get in. I'm, like, terrified of these things. So I saw the moths and I was like, there's, like, three of them. They look exactly the same. They're not, like... big ones or anything like that. So I just decided I was going to sit down and Google moths in my house. She does that, by the way. Oh, yeah. If something happens in L.O.B.'s life, she Googles it. You know, if there's something going on and she wants to fully understand it, she'll Google it. Yeah, so I Googled it, and the first, like...

30:1420 articles that came up was like pantry moths. And I was like, oh my gosh. So I look at the pictures. Sure enough, that's exactly what they look like in my house. And they're like... I could have taken a look at her and I probably should have told you exactly what kind of moth it was. I know. That's how I felt yesterday. I felt like Jodie Foster walking into James Gumm's house and being like, ah! So I was like, okay. So there's either like cloth moths, which we'll go after. Is that like a pansy moth? Does it have yellow markings on its back? No, it has copper. It's a little rectangular with copper wings. That's a beautiful moth. It's like an African something or other. It's called an African daisy moth. Yeah, you would know. You'd know. They only grow in the most fertile African plains. Somebody really must have nurtured those. Fed them honey. Loved them. Cared for them. Somebody loved them. These particular moths like dry food. Can I ask you a question then, Lauren? Yes. When the spring lambs come, do you hear them screaming in the night? Not yet. Just sitting there. Lambs still scream. I can still hear them. Do they, Lauren? Fly away, little Lauren. Fly away. I can still hear them. Just a little. You can hear little moth wings. They're screaming. Yes. Sad, isn't it? They're just screaming so loud and I couldn't free them. What do you do? What do you do, Lauren, to stop the lambs?

31:41I'm screaming. I closed my ears. What did he say? He said... No, I'm talking about Migs in Excel. What did Migs say? Migs? I don't remember what Migs said. I do. He threw something at you. What did he say, Woods? I don't want Woods to tell you what he said, because I'd rather not get an FCC fine. Suffice it to say. Oh, I remember what Meg said. Suffice it to say, whatever it was was filthy. Probably one of the filthiest lines in any movie, including adult films, ever. That's right. Is that Evian Skin Cream? You know that. Evian. You get to go to Pelican Island. Turtle Island. Is that what it was? Turtle Island. Something like that. Where twice a day you'll get to walk on the beach. Nuclear power plant, though. That's right. With arm guards, of course. You'll have a view. Great view, that's right. If you guys could have seen me, you would have died. So I had to throw out everything. Everything. Everything that was like, even stuff that was unopened. It was like, just get rid of it. You threw away things that weren't open. Can goods? No, nothing. Can goods and glass sealed jars I kept. Give me an example of something you threw away. Crackers, pancake mix.

33:10Sugar, flour, syrup. You mean because the moths had landed on the box? It just said that they can get the tiny little... I'm pretty sure the bag of flour was the culprit. Now, I don't know if one of these moths from outside got in, because I've only lived there a few months, and it's a brand new place, so it's not like they've been lurking and up to no good. You ever just creep yourself out? Oh, trust me. Wind yourself up real good? I took the bag of flour out, and there was white webbing on the bottom of it. It was disgusting. I was crying. Weird. I was screaming and crying, and so I threw everything out. There was a couple things that I just bought on Saturday that I kept in the freezer that were unopened because they said you can put them in the freezer for like four days and then open them up and see if there's anything inside. It's killing me! It's killing me! It's incredible. My whole place is sparkling right now. She's so strange. I told her that off the air. I said... You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met. I put the pantry moth thing up there. I got like 30 comments of people that also had pantry moths. Yeah. It's like she's high. That's insane. That was legitimate. And now I'm going to the dermatologist on Thursday because I can't stop itching. See what I mean? It's crazy. Can I talk on the air, please? You're on the air. Do you know who this is? I know who it is.

34:34This is your baby puppy. Hi, Beansy. Senior Beans. With his dog. I'm one of your four little dogs. Yeah, and one big dog. That is Shooter. Yeah, you can't forget about Shooter. He slept in the bed last night. He was scared. That's right. You know why I got to you? No, I haven't talked to you in a while here at the office. Because I want to talk about what happened in the house last night. Did you have an accident again, Senior Beans? No, I wish it was that easy. What happened? My puppy, he used very offensive language to me. Oppensive? Yeah, not... Oppressive, is that what you mean? No, it was very offensive. I think he says offensive. Oh, okay, okay. That's what I say, offensive. Offensive. What the heck is that music you play? Oh, there's nothing musical. Jay must have played the wrong music. You know... Uncle Ye. Uncle Ye, let me tell you something. Aunt Jamie is a very good woman. She is. Because last night when the Jankies were on, and the Jankies were playing the baseball. Yes. The Yankees. The Yankees. Poppy was making noises with his mouth that were very propensive. Yeah, I was none too pleased last night. Anything you can say on the air now? He used the F. Oh. A few times. And he used the F and he used the S.

36:05Yep. And he used lots of bad words from his mouth. Yeah. Maybe an MF in there a couple times. Real good. Real good. Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Did I don't know what to do with myself. That's right. He was really upset Jamie wasn't home last night. With the thing that happened with Seau and then with the jankies and then with Poppy. And Mommy. And Mommy. Mommy's not feeling good. Mommy was not feeling good. And then the thunder. It all made me very scared. He was shaking last night in the bed. Yeah. Made me very scared. Poor little guy. He's shaking. He's always kind of nervous. What kind of gangster are you supposed to be? Well, I am a gangster, but it's hard to be a gangster when your puppy take you to the groomer. And they shave all your skin off so you look like a testicle. You shave off all my fur.

37:17That's mean. You look cute, I think. Like a testicle cute. Like a testicle cute. Not very nice to me. I don't think he meant that outcome. No. All right, my menudo is ready, so I have to go. Menudo. All right, I'll bring you something when I come home. What do you want? Is it bacon or pork chops? Yes, please. Okay. I'm bringing you some stuff. Spoiled, little doggie. I love when you bring me treats. I'll bring you some treats. See you in a few hours. I love you, bud. Love you, too. Wow. Such a little guy. He's outing you. Yeah. Cute. How about if we do a little Woods on Sports? You ready for it? You know it. Let's get some. Get some. Jay's catchphrase. Get some. Get some. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Well, it was a pretty bad matchup on Monday Night Football last night. Did you catch any of that game? A little bit. Dude, the Titans against the Jaguars. Kind of dumb. Yeah, kind of. Oh, so boring. 30-3 was the final. The Titans beat the crud out of the Jaguars. They lost their starting quarterback. But you know what Tennessee did too? Vince Young.

39:00Looked pretty good in the opening drive. He's also my backup fantasy quarterback, so that's always great. Sitting at one and five. Oh, wow. And, yeah, he sprained his knee. Here he is talking about how long he'll be out. Cut one. Gone for the season. Really? Okay. Well, actually, I feel pretty good overall compared to, you know, the last time I hurt my knee against Jacksonville. So, no day-to-day. So, you know, I'm a fast healer, very strong healer. So, day-to-day. There's a lot of injuries out there right now. No doubt, man. You look at the waiver wire and everybody's got a little red mark next to them that they're all hurt. Yeah. Okay. Baseball. You got to tip your cap, dude. What else can you do? Cliff Lee was phenomenal last night. And Mikey. We got to put this out there. Woods is a Yankee fan. They know. Grew up a Yankee fan. Always have been. He's always been a Yankee fan. It was hard. It was hard watching that game last night. He. Guy was straight filth, man. I mean, straight filth. I think 13 Ks, 13 strikeouts, one walk, maybe two, three hits. Just vicious. And they gave it to us pretty good. And they have outplayed us, them being the Rangers, just night and day in the series. Sad day at your house last night? Yeah, I'm over it. So I think it's over. Really? Yeah.

40:28You think that the Yankees will not make it? I think it's going to be the Rangers and the Phillies. Oh, wow. I do not. I've given up. Well, we're starting A.J. Burnett tonight, and he is an absolute train wreck. And if we go down 3-1, that's it. So we're out. We haven't hit the ball. We can't score runs. We can't pitch. Can't get out of the first inning. It's been brutal. Wait a minute, Woods. You can never count out a baseball team like the Yankees. All that talent that they have. I'm counting them out, dude. They don't have it. They're missing something. I've been watching these. Tonight. Tonight they make the comeback. Tonight. Who are they putting out there tonight? AJ Burnett. AJ Burnett. Terrible. He's going to go out there and turn everything around. And this is going to be the magic comeback of all time. If you make one more Yankee prediction, I might slit your throat. Tonight. Don't say it.

41:31You just jinxed me again two days in a row. Jinxing. I'm trying to support. I'm trying to support. Can I support? No, I need a voodoo doll. Can I support you? No, that's it. You're done. That's it. Can I please try to support my friend? You just cost me the ALCS. I want to support my friend. You just cost me the ALCS. Yeah, it's over. I'm trying to support him. No, they're terrible. It's over. Uh-oh. That's not exactly what I expect to hear from you. I expect to hear a little bit more. positivity. No, they're missing something, man. I watched probably 100, 120 games this year. Glass is half full, buddy. No, that thing's empty and falling fast. Here comes ring number 29. 8. 28. Not this year, pal. Put a trophy on. They're getting old. Can't pitch. Can't hit. Tonight. It's over. You just blew it. They're bringing it. That's Woods on Sports. No, I got more. I don't want to talk about it anymore. They're gonna win, dude. They're not gonna win. Yeah, they are. Clown. What? Next. Next, next, next. I'm gonna give you some Chargers news. I wonder what that house was like last night at LLB. Oh, I don't want to know. It was bad. I feel bad. I feel like I... You did. I couldn't. You just did it again. I'm one person. I'm one person. How could I possibly... Everybody was writing me, telling me that, oh, way to go, Mikey. Way to go, Mikey. Way to go, Mikey. I felt terrible. Good move. Cliff Lee heard your comments and you fired him up. What if I guarantee a...

43:00Texan win tonight. Yeah, that'd be great. The Rangers will win tonight. Thank you. Let's talk about Charger football. Charger football is not good right now, and it's only getting worse. Malcolm Floyd suffered a hamstring injury. He's going to be out this week against the Patriots, more than likely, as is the kicker, Nick Cating. More than likely. More than likely. And that's good, because when you play a team like the Patriots, You want to not have your best players out there, so that's always good. So they're going to be in for a rough one this weekend, but you never know what will happen in the NFL. But Phillip Rivers is talking about how they have just been terrible on the road. Cut three. I keep hearing about they're all fixable, and they are all fixable, and every team in the league that loses, all the reasons why they lose and the problems are fixable. But, you know, it's not. To me, but you have to go do it throughout a game. We aren't typing a research paper when we're leaving out stuff and we can go fix it, and it's fixed. I mean, you have to go do it throughout four quarters of a game. Try it, Phillip. That's right. Good dude. Yeah, he is. And then finally, Brett Favre is going to meet with an NFL official over his creepy conduct of, you know, they're thinking that he may have sent sexually explicit messages to that little angel that used to work for the Jets, Jen Sterger.

44:18He's not going to be meeting with the commissioner as of yet, but he will be meeting with somebody. And he said, hey, listen, I don't expect anything. I said last week, I'm concerned about the next game, and I'll let that other thing take its course. Excuse me while I whip this out. Oh, wow. Still have not heard from Brett Favre as to, you know, whether he did it or not. Wow. Word of the day, don't forget. Word of the day is doorstep, and when you hear the word doorstep, caller number nine wins a pair of tickets to see the Vince Vaughn and Kevin James Comedy Roadshow. November 18th at Balboa Theater. Think Woods is superstitious about baseball? I'm sorry. I did it the other way. I said the Rangers will win. You didn't mean it. I guarantee the Rangers will win tonight. I sure hope so. If the Yankees lose, you have to do something for me. Fine. Shave your head. I'll shave my head. I'll think about something. If you guys have any ideas, type me. Let me know. What should I make Mikey do if the Yankees lose tonight? How do I support you? I just zipped my lip? Yeah. I just zipped my lip. You just let me do my sports. I was trying to help. You're going to be doing something tomorrow. Okay. Do you know, Woods, who Jimmy McMillan is? No. Do you, LLB? No. Irish bartender? Uh-uh. Race car driver? No, no, no. Adult film actor? No. Reporter? He's running for governor of New York in what he calls...

45:58The rent is too damn high party. Oh, boy. You've never heard anything like this. I can't wait. I like that party. Me too. The rent is too damn high in New York. No doubt. Only thing close you've heard to this is, to me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. Wow. It's one of those? To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. I got to do a little bit of a treat. Who else in the leprechaun say yay? Let me tell you, this guy was on television in a debate. A real debate with people that are running for governor of the state of New York. It's some of the most phenomenal audio I've ever heard. Wait till you hear this, guy. It's coming up next. Coming up next. Coming up next. So you don't know the name Jimmy McMillan necessarily right now, but you will. You will know the name Jimmy McMillan because this audio is tremendous.

47:06Jimmy McMillan is running for, well, he's running for governor. So he's a gubernatorial candidate. He is a gubernatorial candidate. You love saying that. That's so great. I feel like such a newsman. Here he is introducing himself. Take a listen to this. Mr. McMillan, would you like 30 seconds more? Allow me to introduce myself. I represent the rent that's too damn high party. People are working eight hours a day and 40 hours a week to sell my third job. Women can't afford to take care of their children, feed their children breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My main job is to provide a roof over your head, food on the table, and money in your pocket. This is politics as usual. Playing a silly game. If it's not going to happen, the rent too damn high movement, the people I'm here to represent can't afford to pay their rent. They're being laid off right now as I speak. They can't eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Listen, someone's stomach, child's stomach just growled. Did you hear it? You've got to listen like me. Okay, Mr. McCullen. Let's talk about the issue. Mr. Cuomo, 30 seconds for you, sir. Gets my vote. Thank you. Love him. How? Love him. He's great. He was going for it. At the end of the day, our children will have nowhere to live. That is what I'm fighting for. As a karate expert, I will not talk about anyone up here because our children can't afford to live anywhere. Nowhere. There's nowhere to go. Once again, why? You said it. The rent is too damn high.

48:43Thank you, Mr. McMillan. What's that have to do with him being a karate expert? Yeah. He'll rough talk you. He'll rough talk you. I'll kung fu him. I'll come out here and rough talk him and run him off. He comes out here acting a fool. I'm gonna kung fu him. Mr. Cuomo. Mr. Cuomo gets to go next. Yeah. The rent is too damn high. Don't not take him seriously. Yeah. Don't you dare not take him seriously. I like that dude. I'm on board with what he's got to say. Mr. McMillan, what about gay marriage? Rent too damn high party for you. If you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you. There he is. Guy tells it like it is. Running for governor, man. He's got my endorsement. If you want to marry a shoe. Have a ball. I like what he stands for. Yeah. He needs to reel it in a little bit. He's a humanist. He's worried about the human beings out there. Yeah.

49:46He's a part of the rent is too damn high party. I think that is my new affiliation. Yeah. So there he is. Moose is calling at 730, 25 minutes from now. You know Moose. He's a well-known surfer here in San Diego. He was there yesterday when Junior Seau drove off that cliff. Crazy story. Junior gets arrested yesterday for beating up his girlfriend, goes to jail, gets out, falls asleep at the wheel, allegedly, and then drives off a cliff. He says he fell asleep at the wheel. And he drove off a cliff. So he was just minor injuries, right? Yep. Yeah. I think the article that I read said that he was at Scripps, La Jolla. Yep. Correct. So anyway, more on that story in just a bit. This is the Chancellor of Germany spoken through a translator. Oh, great.

50:43Do you love hearing the translator? That bit to me is great. It kind of wigs me out because it's... It's a little overload for me. It is. To have one guy going, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Mikey, been listening to you for a long time now. Love your show. Wanted to ask you a marital question. Well, kind of. I'm a 41-year-old widow, and my husband has been gone for two years now. Got married when I was 18, so it's been a long time since I have not been, or since I've been in the dating world. I think I'm finally ready to get back out there, and in fact, I've been to a few singles nights at my church.

51:56My opinion on whether or not you should have sex before marriage doesn't change because you're horny. Well... Is it really before marriage? She's been married. Yeah, she has been, but she's not now, so she's single. It's not her fault. Yeah, her husband passed away. She died. He died, I mean. I know. She can have sex again. She's got to get married. She's got to get married. Listen, again, let me say it again. My perspective on sex doesn't change because you're horny. I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. It just seems like it seems different than another situation. Yeah. It doesn't say. Yeah, if he dies, feast. Now, is sex before marriage a sin because you can get pregnant out of wedlock, or what's the deal with that? No, the deal is that it's about that that act is something that's really sacred, and it happens between a man and a woman when you're married. It's real special that when you do that, you become one. The only thing that separates you from it is if they die or if they cheat. If they cheat, they ruin it. Now, if they...

53:25So now that he's died. Well, I mean, and let me be real clear about that. If they cheat, they ruin it. But you don't have to. I mean, you don't have to divorce. You have the right to divorce if they cheat. But that's the only thing that gives you the right to divorce. They've broken it. So now that he's died, what if she believes that that was her soulmate? So she just can't ever. participate in that act again? No. Unless she gets married. I mean, if she believes that it was her soulmate, it may very well have been her soulmate, and if she is horny and she wants to do it, she can't. She's just got to get married. What if it's not even about horny, but just sharing that level of intimacy with somebody? Well, yeah, you can share that level of intimacy with somebody, but if she's asking me where my thing is with it. I say, yeah, get married. You know? I mean, listen, don't I believe that Rebecca's my soulmate? You know? Sure, I do. And if Rebecca were gone, it doesn't mean that I just get to go slay the world. Well, she doesn't have to talk about slaying the world. Okay, it doesn't mean that I just got to, that I get to start slaying. Okay, it doesn't mean that I meet a girl. What are we talking here? She's my girlfriend? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I think this, this

54:46I don't even think she has anyone in mind. I think she's just like, if I want to participate in that kind of thing. If I want to have sex. Yeah. Well, what's the difference between her being a 40-year-old widow and being a 20-year-old single? Because she's already gone through the sanctity of marriage, and unfortunately that bond ended because of death. Price tag's already off that car. Yeah. Well, okay. Then let me ask you this. Let's follow the logic. Let's say the guy dies, right? And so she's already gone through it. And so shouldn't she be able to enjoy sex, right? Okay, just follow me here and yes or no. I mean, you can elaborate. So how many people is it cool for her to have sex with? Oh, I don't know. Whatever she feels comfortable with. Let's say she feels comfortable with eight. Go for it. Then it's cool? Yeah. Okay, so what about eight in one night? If she's comfortable with it, whatever she can sleep at night with. Well, then that means that it's just whatever you think. Yeah. Okay, well, that's fine. I mean, if that's the way you roll, then that's the way you roll. If she asks you for your opinion. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she's asking for my opinion. L.O.B. says if she feels okay with eight dudes in a night, okay. Yeah. Have a ball. Yeah. I mean, have a ball. My deal is get married, you know? Woodsy.

56:14have a bowl. I mean, that's just, to me, it looked like a leprechaun to me, first of all. To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. But I think that she's kind of put in her time. 25 years or whatever with this guy and he died and that sucks. But it doesn't sound like she's going to go out and do a lot of whoring or anything. It sounds like, hey, maybe I want to start dating somebody. Maybe I don't want to... get married again and go through what I just went through. I don't know. I mean, teach his own, I guess. Yeah. Jay, what do you think? And what do you think, M1s? M1 Nation, I want to hear from you. 570-1949. Everybody has their personal views. I want to know what yours are. I think we're all weak and that people make mistakes and that she can always probably ask for forgiveness on the back end. Oh, wow. So you're saying just do, you know, make a mistake and ask for forgiveness. Yeah. Well, that's one way to view it. 570-1949. How do you view it? It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right? Well, if you're taking that philosophy, I've taken that philosophy before, by the way. Oh, 100%. I've taken that philosophy, but when I did it, I knew it was wrong. Yeah, you know what you're doing. I knew what I was up to. 570-1949. What an ugly day. Look at that. Liverpool. Yeah, it looks like Liverpool.

57:40London fog. London morning. Yeah, I think I'm going to see double-decker red buses driving around. Hello. It's a beautiful day out, isn't it? Oh, it's lovely. Much sunnier today than it was yesterday. Why would I say top of the morning? This isn't Ireland. It's not. It's England. That's fine. But I said top of the morning. It's fine with me. You're a bugger. Just take a look outside. It makes sense, doesn't it? It could be Ireland. There's only four bloody clouds out there. That's ridiculous. Yesterday there was... 108. Oh, easily. Easily 108. Could you count? Today there's only four clouds. The problem is each cloud is 107 miles wide. Bitch black. Bitch black. Kilometers. Looks like one of L.O.B.'s dates out there. Yes, it does. Yes, she prefers the darker clouds, doesn't she? Oh, that's ironic. That's ironic, isn't it? That's ironic because she's so white. She's got the blonde hair and the blue eyes, doesn't she? And the blue eyes, yes. She sure does. But she takes a coffee block. Yes, she does. Jolio, it's going to be a lovely day. 570-1949-M1. Brian is calling in from, where are you calling in from? Carlsbad. What do you think? What do you mean? What do you mean?

59:08think it's wrong to be having sex because we're not married. No. Dude, let me tell you. I mean, you're asking. I'll tell you. Yeah, I just want your opinion. Oh, for sure. Dude, when you're married, I say have at, like, do whatever makes you feel good with your wife. But he's not married. He's not married. He said it's like he's married. Oh, it's... Like commonwealth. Common law. Common law. Sorry, Commonwealth, Virginia. That doesn't cut it, though, right? No, no, no. I say you've got to be married. But once you're married, have at it. Be as kinky and crazy and wild as you want. Wild out. Yeah, wild out if you're married. But this is my deal. My deal is, and by the way, I've got to put it out there. See, I didn't live this way because I've only been under this belief system. for the past five six years and so you know before uh i came under this belief system i was i having sex before marriage you know and if i had to do and if i had to do it over again you know like if if my wife were gone today i would have to you know go through the same struggle and by the way it would be a struggle because i would want to do it i would want to it's the way i'm wired

1:00:32But if I found a girl and I really liked her a lot, I'd marry her. And I would have that. I would have fun and I'd be wild and it'd be wild monkey sex. Alright, thanks for your input there. Thanks, man. That's just the way I roll. I mean, everybody rolls differently. Jay says, you know, Jay goes, yeah, I'd know it's wrong, maybe, but I would just do it and then later I'd ask for forgiveness. And then Lauren says, well, it's to each person's own personal preference. If somebody feels okay and they can sleep at night with eight partners in one night, that's up to them. You might be a little sore. That's a little extreme. If you can sleep at night. If you can sleep at night, then go for it. Woods says, yeah, if you have put in your time, 40 years of marriage, then you've already put in 40. 40 years of time. You've earned it. You've earned it. Therefore, you can do what you'd like. And then my opinion is, once your partner passes, you hit the reset button, you're single again. And once you get married, you can have that. And let her loose. M1 Marsala from Santee. I was just calling to say, my dad passed away about a year and a half ago. And he was 46 and my mom's 46.

1:02:02And they were soulmates. So to me, if you have to sleep with a few people to find your compatible match, because to me now, after you've already lost your husband, now it's just about finding your comfort partner for the rest of life. Well, what I would say to that, Marsala, is that, is it Marsala or Marcella? Marcella. Marcella. What I would say to that, Marcella, is that you don't have to sleep with people to find a compatible match. In fact, in fact, in fact. My mom and dad did not sleep with one another before they got married, and they've been married for 53 years. And statistically, what we do know is that 85% of couples that live together before they are married get a divorce within the first 10 years of marriage. 85%. But what if her mom's not looking to get married again? She's just looking to have... companionship for the rest of her life well I think you can I think that you can have companionship but if you want to have companionship with someone the rest of your life that's marriage that's the same as marriage well she might not even want it with the same person she might just want to try on different hats you can try on different hats but that doesn't mean that you have to have sex

1:03:22You don't have to have sex. You don't have to. But if you're an adult and you've already reached that level of intimacy before, I think it's just like, that just seems like the natural next step for two adults. I do too. I just, the only thing that, the only difference is, I think we agree on that, the only difference is that I say, yeah, you just get married. Maybe I want to wear two hats at the same time. Hey. I don't know. Maybe you do. You only got one head. Do I? Maybe you want to wear eight hats at the same time. Whoa, hey, easy there, big time. Yeah, hey. I say tell your mom to have a ball, Marcella. Go wild out real good. And I say tell your mom to get married. To have a ball. Her husband is in heaven right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She doesn't want another one. She doesn't want another one? Another husband. Maybe she does. Maybe she meets the right guy. She met the right guy. What's that? Rush to get married just so she can be intimate with somebody again. Right. No, you don't want her to rush to get married. But if she finds somebody that she falls in love with, there might be somebody else out there that she, I mean, people get remarried when they lose someone. Yeah. In fact, if they find happiness and they meet someone they really love and they fall in love, they can get married. Yeah. You know, but I think that if we say, well, you know, you wouldn't want to keep her from making herself happy.

1:04:45you wouldn't want to keep her from having sex. Listen, sex isn't what makes a person happy. It's a part of, I mean, it's a part of it. Right. But if we start as a society going, well, you know, it's the intercourse that's going to make her happy. No. I mean, that's one part of it. But it's a natural inclination. It's a level of intimacy. Yeah, I mean, I agree with that. There's no doubt. Let's make love, Mike. Yeah. I guess the question here that the guy called with, he just said, well, all right, Mikey, by your thinking, how does this work? You're telling me I'm not supposed to go do it? No, dude, you could do it. I just say you've got to be married. Well, yeah, I mean, there's not going to be a scenario that comes up where you're going to say, yeah, no. Okay, yeah, I can let that slide. That's just not your thing. Yeah. M1 Dave from Mira Mesa. M1 Dave from Mira Mesa, are you there? Yeah. Hi. Go ahead. My statement on marriage is, I wonder what the common person thinks about the origin of marriage. Did we just decide somewhere back in the caveman days, hey, let's get married? I don't think so. Marriage was invented by God, designed by God, for a man and a woman. And the bond that happens between a man and a woman after they're married,

1:06:14In the bedroom, that's what makes them one. Okay. No couple really experiences the oneness that occurs when it is blessed under the umbrella of God. And I agree with you, Mike. I mean, get crazy in the bedroom with your wife. There's nothing better. After 27 years, there's nothing hotter than my wife and me. And, of course, my kids would just be puking. Hey, thanks, Dave. I appreciate it. I just threw up my mouth a little bit, Dave, just FYI. Yeah, you think his kids creeped out when they heard him? He's like, really, Dad? You got to do the bit where you tell everybody how horny and kinky and how hot it is? I've never been married, but I would imagine that when you... consummate as a married couple, there is nothing comparable to that. And I'm just saying, after you do have that sanctity of marriage, after you believe that that was your soulmate that has now passed on, then maybe you don't want that oneness with anybody else. You just want to be an adult and have intercourse. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, listen, there is not an adult that exists that doesn't want to have intercourse. Yeah. I mean, of course you want to. Some of them don't. I've met some.

1:07:34Some people don't want to have intercourse? No, just, eh. Ambivalent. Like Morrissey? I've met those people, but those people, I think those people are called liars because I think they want to have sex. Everybody wants to have sex, L-O-B. I don't know. Who doesn't want to have sex? I think some people have maybe an imbalance of hormones where they just don't want to. Come on, really? I don't know. Is that possible? I believe it can be. Let's get a bioscientist guy on the line. Hey, if there's a bioscientist guy listening right now. A bioscientist guy. M1 cave dweller? Yeah, where are you at? I don't have any problem talking to a bioscientist guy. Anytime. Anytime you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen. You bioscientist guy, you. Hey, listen. Everybody's got a different opinion on it. I'm willing to hear you out, and everybody's willing to hear you out. I got my opinion. Wood's got his opinion. Everybody's got their opinion. 5701-949 is our number. We got old time radio coming up in a minute. But when we come back, we're going to be talking to Moose, who saw and was right there when Junior Seau drove off that cliff yesterday. He was on the scene and was there when Junior sped past him. It's next. Eddie Money singing with that eye just doing its thing. Blasting a sick real good. Welcome back. Word of the day is doorstep. And...

1:09:50It's a pretty good prize today. When you hear the word doorstep between now and 10 a.m., when you're Caller 9, you get a pair of tickets to see the Vince Vaughn and Kevin James Comedy Roadshow, November 18th at Balboa Theater. Okay, so on the phone with us right now, we have Moose. Are you there, Moose? Yes, I am. Hey, Mikey, how you doing? I'm good, man. Moose was all over the news and was quoted in the newspaper, was quoted in the news and stuff because he was right there yesterday when Junior Seau went off that cliff. Isn't that right? I was standing like less than 10 feet. He drove like 10 feet right by me. So walk me through the process. What time was it and what happened? About 8.35. and I was just hanging out on the cliff, and I went to go throw a piece of trash away in the trash can, and I noticed the left-hand turn signal was on green, and there was people making U-turns. This is at just south of our airport road, I'd say about maybe about 250 yards, right across from the Garden Hilton. Okay. And I noticed the Cadillac.

1:11:05on the inside lane, and it was just creeping real slow, like just real slow, like three, four, five feet a second. And I didn't know it was Junior's car or anything at the time. It didn't look like there was anything unusual, just he was creeping slow because there was cars turning on the outside of him, and it looked like he was kind of waiting to let people go by. So, you know, parking here could be a premium at times, and he was going to try to get a parking spot. No big deal. I'm walking back to my van, and I'm standing about two, three feet from my door. All of a sudden, I hear a running, and all of a sudden, running right off the cliff. It was just incredible. It was like unreal. It didn't even look real. It was like I was being pumped. So wait a minute. So the car went from just kind of creeping along to accelerating? Accelerating. I did not see the acceleration, like I'm telling you. on the other side of the intersection, and people were making U-turns because I noticed the light was green, and I saw like two or three cars making a U-turn, and it looked like the Cadillac Junior's car was stuck on the inside lane and maybe looking to pull over and park where everybody parks and stuff here because parking could be a premium. So was he pointed north or south? He was pointed south, not pointed towards the cliff or anything.

1:12:32Creeping like I'm saying. Like you said, he said he was asleep. And if he was, he was looking asleep at that particular moment. I did not notice what he looked like. I didn't even notice it was Junior because it was about Mikey, I would say maybe about 100 yards away from where I was parked. See, then that's my question, Moose, is, you know, and I'm trying to make my way through it all, but if somebody said to you, do you think he was asleep, do you think he was asleep? Yeah, he could have been asleep. I've been totally asleep. Battery was thinking really hard. Well, if he was asleep, what about the acceleration? His body weight maybe fell on it? I did not see the acceleration because, as everybody knows, I've got a big van. And from the time I hit to the back corner of my van to where my door was, that actually blocked me from the acceleration. I heard acceleration on the other side of my car, the van. I'm telling you, Mikey, he missed clipping the driver's side of my bumper by less than five feet. Wow. And I was standing like two feet outside my van. I was the only one on the clip. And all of a sudden I see, I saw him before he even hit the curb. I heard the noise. I looked right there and I jumped and I see this car hit the curb. Oh, my God. And then all of a sudden he went up. And then all of a sudden.

1:13:59I'm looking around and everybody started popping out of their car and I'm like, oh, did you see that? And I thought it was kind of like somebody stole a car and was driving it off the cliff or an insurance scam or something. I didn't think anybody was in the car. So then what? You walked over to where the car went off the cliff and started looking? I was about maybe 15 feet from the edge of the cliff. I hobbled over to the cliff and he was already... Uh, landed and he was facing up the hill and then all of a sudden there was a puff of smoke. Uh, the insurance guy, which I don't remember his name, was parked right behind me. He ran down the cliff. It was a little wet out on the cliff. I got a sore leg. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Pause for a second, Moose. The insurance guy. There was an insurance guy who was like... park behind me. People in the morning will park and drink their coffee. He just happened to be an insurance. He just happened to be an insurance guy. Not junior's insurance. That's service right there. Junior's insurance. He ran down the cliff. I saw the puff of smoke. I have a fire extinguisher underneath the seat of my car. I ran and got my fire extinguisher. I ran down to the edge of the path there. I was going to toss the

1:15:22Now, when you're looking down, how far down this cliff is the car? And he actually was going fast enough to where he actually cleared all the bushes. And he must have done a 180 in the air and landed backwards. It looked like he was driving up the cliff when he landed. And like I'm telling you, the guy, Junior, was getting out of the car. I didn't know it was Junior at the time. Now, then all of a sudden, about two minutes later, somebody said, that's Junior Sedot. And I know Junior.

1:16:21And I looked down, and I went, wow, that is Junior. At the time, there was no emergency, no police, nothing was going on. Nobody came by, and it was after about 20 minutes, it rolled up, and the police and stuff, that he was all right. Moose, for the 20 minutes that it took for the emergency crews to get there, what was he doing? He was just sitting down, being relaxed. Sitting where? Sitting on, there's like rocks down there. It looked like he might have been sitting on one of those rocks. But he was sitting down there with that one guy. And who was that guy? The insurance guy. The insurance guy? I don't know what his name was. But he was the insurance guy that was parked behind you. Yeah, he worked for some insurance company because it said on the side of his car. Did you ever talk to the guy when he came back up? Yeah. When you talked to him, did you ask him what Junior said? No, I didn't. He said, yeah.

1:17:25Well, I'm trying to understand. I mean, when you say that he's going real slow, that would indicate what a car would do if it was an idle. You know, if your foot was off the accelerator, the car would still move. It would creep. It would creep along. It would, you know, just if it was in drive, but your foot wasn't on the accelerator. it would creep along. I guess the thing that I'm wondering is, how did it go from creeping along to accelerating off the side of the cliff? And I looked, and he hit the curb, bumped the curb, and went straight off the cliff. Now, see, here's the thing. You know, when you're standing on the side of the road and somebody accelerates from a red light, you don't notice it. It's not the kind of acceleration that actually makes a cognitive click in your head. You don't notice it. It's what you hear every day. When you hear a strong acceleration.

1:18:56That's different. Yeah. Unless he... Have you ever been so startled when you wake up from something, you jump? I mean, maybe it's just disoriented. Yeah, could be. Or he thought it was a step on the brake. The first time he explained this story to me, here's what it sounded like. He's at the red light or whatever, and he's... Not even a light. It wasn't even a light, right? Was it not a red light? The intersection. The intersection. It sounded to me like he's letting people go, and he's in the wrong lane, and then he sees where he wants to be. And looks and says, okay, this is what I'm doing. And jumps the curb. Dude, you jump the curb. You're falling asleep. You're going 50, 60 miles an hour. Your car's going to spin out. You can't just jump a curb. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. The first time he told me, in my gut, I go, oh, yeah, that's what he wanted to do. I don't know. He could have been coming. See, down here at Palomar Airport Road, there's a loop. He could have been coming from Palomar Airport Road south onto Coast Highway. There's that inside lane there, and you have to let the people, you know, like the inside lane there. I'm sure Jay knows the intersection. Yeah, exactly. And once again, nothing out of the ordinary, but I saw the car creeping. Now, you know, he could have been waiting for cars, but he could have been asleep there too. And like I'm telling you, from the time,

1:20:18My angle, for more of the time I could get to the back of my band to where I was actually standing, I mean, it actually blew 60, 70 yards. You know what I mean? We're talking to a local surfer that you've probably heard of him. His name is Moose. He's from Oceanside. He witnessed what happened with Junior Seau yesterday. So about 20 minutes later, the emergency people show up, Moose, and they go down there. What happens? Do they walk him up? Do they put him on a stretcher? What do they do? Put him in a stretcher, and they put him in the back of the lifeguard truck and drove him down to where the little valley is there just before the campground. Oh, on the beach then? On the beach, they actually drove. Oh, wow. They drove down. I mean, I'm so glad he's not here. He's junior, man. He's indestructible. I'm telling you, there wasn't a scratch on him when I saw him. So they drove him to some other place where they took him to the hospital. Yeah, yeah. He can't get down the cliff, and the lifeguards drove, and they put him in the stretcher.

1:21:41Incredible. I just can't even believe he wasn't hurt at all. All right. Hey, Moose, I appreciate you coming on, man, telling us your story. That is a really, really incredible experience and view that you had of it. So thank you, man. Hey, thanks a lot. Hey, Mikey, you guys are doing a great job. I love your show. Thank you, Moose. We appreciate it, man. Thank you very much. See you, Moose. We'll see you. Bye. That's a really wild thing, man. It's wild, man. I want to go down there and look at it, and I want to get a feel for... Where he was standing and what it looks like. Yeah, I know exactly what he's talking about. And it's plausible that it went that way, that he did fall asleep, and then he got jolted and made the wrong move when he woke up. I know exactly what that meant. It doesn't sound like a place where you'd look at it and go, yep, that would kill me. Yeah. It doesn't? It doesn't. God, it looks like it from the news and stuff. Looks to me like I could see you falling asleep and maybe going off there. You know what's interesting to me? is I ask myself, why is it important for us as a community to know whether or not he was trying to kill himself or whether he fell asleep? What difference does that make to us? And I guess here's the thought. Well, if he was trying to commit suicide, boy, what a coward. Because that means that he beat his girlfriend up and he didn't want to face public scrutiny and so he was trying to kill himself.

1:23:07But what does it say about his cowardice if he fell asleep and drove off the side of the cliff? Doesn't say anything about his cowardice. His cowardice was proved if, in fact, he beat his girlfriend up. We're in a real weird place with men. We're in a real weird place with men. There's not enough men in our culture. There's not enough men. In fact, what we have is we have a lot of guys, I think, right now that think they're men. They think they're men either because of what they drive or how much money they make or how smart they are or how big their body part is or by how loud they can yell or

1:24:07in some cases, how funny they are. Now, I say that because it's me, you know, me. I used to think that I was a man. And the reason that I did is because I was smarter than you. I was funnier than you. I could make fun of you. I could bully you. I could do, even though what I really was, was a short, fat, insecure person. But I had a brain and I was clever and I could do, you know, I could say all this stuff. Junior, he may not be the funny guy, he may not be whatever, but he is an all-pro linebacker. And a lot of people look to that and they go, wow. They look at Junior Seau, especially if you looked at the highlight reel and you would go, that's a man. Well, the truth is, no, that is not what measures a man. What measures a man is character.

1:25:08Flat out, the measurement of a man is his character. And character is what you do when no one's looking. That's what character is. Who are you when no one's looking? That's the bottom line with character. So when I heard it yesterday, it bummed me out because it was another high-profile person that did something that stinks. It's a crazy story, man. I mean, think about some of the crazy stories you guys have shared with me from the athletes in this town before I moved here. You know what I mean? It's just, I was reading online that, like, man, this is like a breeding ground for some of these crazy things that happen to these guys. For sure. Yeah, I was bummed. I've always liked Junior State. We saw him, remember we went to lunch that one day, and he was sitting there, you know, two rows behind us, and I'm just staring at him going, holy crap, I watched you on TV forever. Us? Yeah. Yeah, remember? We were at, Poseidon, maybe? Poseidon. For the AIS lunch. Somewhere in Del Mar, we were right on. Oh. Remember? Junior was there? Yeah. We were staring at him. It was right when I moved here. Oh, wow. Yeah. No? No recollection? I do not remember that at all. You remember, Ellen. I remember, yeah. M1 Will from Ramona. Swim. Oh, you just brought up and covered what I was going to say. It seems to be there's a lot of focus on the vehicle accident and not much focus on the accident. Is Axe prior to that? Right.

1:26:37That's the tragic part, you know, I think in my case. And I think that, you know, if he did what they said he did, he should be vilified. I mean, there's just no excuse for what he did. None. You know, and I mean, there's always something that can come out that maybe we don't know and we don't know the whole story. I don't want to point the finger. I mean, if she was attacking him and he pushed her off. Okay, that may be a little bit different, but we don't know what's come out yet. I mean, I know that the injuries that she had did not require medical attention, you know, and that's what I've read so far. But, you know, if he did that and he did put his hands on her, you know, he's wrong. Yeah, I agree. I think. Let's see. M1 Gordon Bombay from Mission Valley. What's up? Hey, good morning. I just wanted to add another character litmus test to the one that you said about... how people act when no one's looking. Another good one that my dad has always said is the true content of a man's character is defined by how he treats those that can do nothing for him. Wow, that's really good. Yeah. That's great, man. That is really good. That's great. 570-194-9 is our number. So, you talk about weird, man. This is so weird.

1:28:00This audio that I'm going to play for you when we come back is crazy. So yesterday on C-SPAN, right? There's this political forum and they're sitting there and they're debating, right? Nobody would have ever blinked or noticed this in the world. Except for the fact that one of the dudes on the panel, that he decided that to drive his point home, he was going to point out how he once dated. one of the women that's sitting on the panel. And if she's talking about pain in America, she could really speak to it since she cheated on him. It's crazy. It's crazy. It goes from playful to creepy in zero seconds. Much like Mr. Isbell. And it's next. We gotta talk about that later.

1:29:47On the air. I want to talk about it on the air. Oh, yeah. Oh, you do or don't? I do. Oh, yeah, we should. Shed some light on some situations for some young men out there. Yeah. I'm trying to eat. Sorry. Actually, some not-so-young men. He's not exactly a young man anymore. No spring chicken. No. No, but the situation is something that young men... Not the guy from the Jersey Shore. Right. Not that situation. Not that situation. No. Woods' buddy. We'll have to clue them all in on a conversation I had last night with a good friend of mine that you all know and love. Yeah. Bark Malman. Bark Malman. BM for short. BM, yes. At some point I've got to tell you about my brother moving in Phoenix. About a block. That's not a beating, is it? Moving all your things 50 feet? It's the worst. Sounds like Dante's Inferno. Here's the deal. Jamie and I had this conversation, too. Not to rabbit hole or anything. Yeah, don't because I've got to get to this stuff. Oh, never mind. All right. I got to get this stuff so you could tell it, but, dude, I got to. It's your show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Knock it out of the park. I want to hear this guy anyway. This is crazy. Guy's name is Todd Seavey, and he's sitting on a panel. They're talking about basically what they're discussing is political ideology. Oh, amazing. Boring, like, might as well.

1:31:18Take a unison, right? And this is on C-SPAN. Now, everybody in the world would have fallen asleep except for the fact that there's four people on this panel and this dude that starts talking is sitting next to his ex-girlfriend. Now, they're older people. How old? Late 30s, early 40s. Okay. And this happens. I think you'll find a lot of... Helen's positions are actually guided by the desire to increase suffering. I'm Catholic. Oh, gosh. That might explain it. I probably should confess that Helen and I dated for two years. So, you know, we've sparred about many things. It might come as a surprise to some of you that we dated for two years, not just because we have ideological differences, but because there are probably some people in this room who...

1:32:15also dated Helen during those two years. Given how tumultuous things got, it was sort of on again, off again. I'm in favor of combativeness. And at times, her gamesmanship would even include things like coldly saying at one point that she was going to play matchmaker and set up a couple and then seduce the man away to play with his mind and hurt the woman. Which, when you think about it, is pretty creepy. Kind of disturbing. Is all this going on C-SPAN? Yeah, it is all on C-SPAN. And I believe five months later, she made good on this somewhat disturbing promise. Oh, my God. And I doubt anyone here who knows me well really thinks I'm making this up. So I can't help wondering, when you strip away the things you don't like, like Alan Bloom's values and tradition, which you reject at one point explicit in the essay, what is it you don't want people to do to each other? What sort of evils are beyond the pale? When you've encouraged a world of this sort of boxing and brawling and fighting and hurting each other in an almost sadomasochistic way. Maybe we should move on. I think she has the right to respond on this one, yeah. Off the top of my head, what do I think is off bounds? I don't know, spilling your heart out on C-SPAN? Oh my God. Nobody stopped him. My boys just crawled up in my body. They're up inside there. Let me tell you.

1:33:44I've actually seen the video. It's a room full of people that are as bored as you'd expect them to be before that happened. Yeah. It's C-SPAN, and they're talking about political ideology with a bunch of people that you've never heard of sitting on this panel. And so when he starts talking about how she cheated during their two-year relationship, now that begs the question, well, was it right or was it wrong what he did? For him to bring that up? Yes. Is it even a question? It's wrong. Yes. It's wrong. Although I've never really seen that program, so if they bring up things that are in people's past. No, it's a forum on political ideology on C-SPAN. Holy cow. You would have thought someone would have stopped him. It wasn't the dating game. Yeah. Man, she sounds like a real piece of work, though. I'll tell you. According to him. I kind of like her.

1:34:47I'll tell you why I think that happened. Because that's what is popular. Salacious things like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's popular. Wow. I don't know. We're going to need to rebook you guys for tomorrow night. If you could come back and make this. Yeah. Our ratings suddenly went through the roof. How about the super uncomfortable laughter? Oh, yeah. She said, oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah, when he brought up that she had tried to play matchmaker between a couple of people and then seduced the guy that she was playing matchmaker with in order to play with his mind and hurt the girl. Weird. Weird. Yeah. You ever get... Cheated on and act like a little baby. Yeah. You could tell she knew what he meant by that first biting remark. And she tried to be like, I'm Catholic. Ended here. Ended here. Well, you could say that or you could say that you're a lying, cheating. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's like that Billy Madison guy, the principal that keeps referring to his wife. Yeah. I mean, that's.

1:36:05Will got it. Will loved it. I instantly saw a look of recognition on Will's face and then I just pretended that I understood. Have you seen the movie? Billy Madison? No. I have, but I don't remember that. But I gotta tell you about this. We got an email. And L.O.B., I'm going to be very interested to see what you think about this email. We got an email and we have... Thought it was interesting enough that I said to Jay, write her back, see if she'll come on the air. So Danielle, and one Danielle from PB writes us an email, says, Mikey, my boyfriend is into running and has a coworker that he often runs with. I have felt very uncomfortable with it. I do not run. And he says, neither does her boyfriend. So they run together. Is it wrong for me to be jealous? I thought it was great. Fascinating. Fascinating. M1 Danielle, you there? Yeah, I'm here. So first of all, thanks for coming on because I thought it was great. And it's every once in a while that Jay will bring me one and I'll go, we got to get this person on the air. This was a good one. Okay, so first of all, how old are you? I'm 25.

1:37:41How old is your boyfriend? He just turned 28. Okay. And this co-worker that he runs with, how old is she? She's like 27, I think. Okay. So she's a little older than you, a little younger than him. Yeah. And have you ever met her? Yeah, I've met her, well, I met her like once. And then I've, you know, like seen her at the, like at his office. I've, you know, seen her in passing, I think before I really started hanging out or whatever. But, you know, she's being nice, but she also is gorgeous. She's like 5'6 and blonde and just absolutely like stunning. I'm going to take a guess. I'm going to take a wild guess here. I'll bet that he has told you. He isn't even the slightest bit attracted. I mean, not even a... Might as well be a dude. A sister. A sister. Like a cousin. You know that I'm not into blondes. And I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, right. I mean, listen, can I just say to all men, don't even try it. Yeah, don't try.

1:39:04They're not going to believe you anyway. Don't even try the, oh yeah, I'm not attracted to her. I mean, take a shovel out, bro. If you're going to say that, take a shovel out and just start digging a hole for yourself. Don't deny her. I'm attracted to her. Yeah. That makes my mouth water. I mean, if anything, you say, yes, she's gorgeous. But I'm with you. But I'm with you and I love you. I love you. But that bit of. I'm not attracted to her at all. Really? I'm like, have you, are you blind? Like, I know. I'm like, okay, well, and you're, and you're rubbing with her. Like, and we've only been dating for like four months. So it's pretty new into the relationship. So, I mean, you know, not super new, but you know, there's things come up. It's not like a long term relationship where everything's like comfortable and figured out, you know? I think that, okay, so I'll give you my thoughts on it, and then I want to hear everybody. And I want people to call in, 570-1949. I don't think it's any surprise to anybody. I think it's a bad idea. I think that what it encourages is temptation. And so I think that my philosophy is run from temptation. Excuse the pun. Run away. Jog. Yeah, jog from temptation.

1:40:22There is too much of a chance of something building from that relationship. So that's my thought. And I don't know if she has a boyfriend. I mean, I've never met him, and he's never met him. So she just talks about him. But, I mean, honestly... You know, this is like a new girl in his office and that, you know, he was trying to be nice and they became friends. Yeah, but Danielle, do you think that she's legally insane and she's making up a boyfriend that doesn't exist? Is his name George Glass and she's Jane Brady? I don't know. I mean, I'm like, you know, my boyfriend, I mean, he's a good looking guy. And, you know, I'm like trying to think of the shoes on the other foot. Why wouldn't I want to spend time with this, you know, guy who's been nothing but nice to me, who's willing to, you know. go hang out with me you have something in common with yeah exactly are they running outside of work like after hours they meet up like early in the morning and they'll go for a run and i'm like first of all you're you know running with this gorgeous girl and i'm sure she like you know then some skimpy clothes and go on and you know like all sweaty and stuff i mean how can your mind not go there yeah she's not running in a robe

1:41:33You know, she's running in little short shorts. Yeah. Little sports bra. I like it. My wife comes back from a run. I'm like, how are you doing? I don't think it looks great. I like it. I feel like I look disgusting. Well, I think there's more attractive ways women. Chatting it up with each other. Yeah. Just running real good and talking about, you know, life and problems. And then one of them tries to go right and the other one tries to go left and they knock into each other. Oh, sorry. Let's just go that way. Let's just go into the woods for a second. Like all of a sudden they fall into a sleeping bag. And make love. And make love. We're all down a hill together and end up. Making love. Yeah. At the bottom of a hill. Babe, it's so weird. We accidentally made love today. Yeah. We kind of fell into it. Fell off a clip. M1, Chris from San Diego, are you there? Yeah, I'm right here. Go ahead. Hey, so, you know, here I was married. I'd just been hit by a car, and I couldn't go out and run, couldn't go out and do any of this exercise. So my best friend says, hey, yeah, I'll go running with your wife. You know, I've only known his wife since I was seven. And, you know, his wife is going through, she had cancer.

1:42:44And so, you know, she was getting treated for, you know, chemo, radiation, all that other stuff. And so she couldn't go run and exercise either. Turns out, you know, my ex-wife and he hit it off. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Yeah, my ex-wife tells me that, you know, I didn't want to be married to a cripple. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is my best friend. And so the funny thing is there's what she tells me to my face. And then there's what she starts telling other people, you know, afterwards. Because, God forbid, you know, she tells people, well, God, I don't want to be married to a cripple. I mean, you know, oh, well. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. So you're telling me that your wife cheated on you, and then after she cheated on you, she then bad-mouthed you? Oh, what's even better is that, so I would, you know, go out of the room. I would leave the room. You know, it took me about two months to go back to work. I would leave. I would go out. I'd find out all this stuff later, of course. I didn't know this was going on at the time, but she would. badmouth me. She would make fun of me when I'd leave the room to my friend. So she's badmouthing me. I'm finding out about all this stuff all later. You're so lucky, bro. Oh, I'm so lucky. You are, dude. Are they together now? Oh, they live together. Holy crap. The funny thing is, the really sad thing is, is all this stuff went on in front of my son and his son. So all of this stuff was going on in front of the kids. And she, you know, hey, whatever. He's actually...

1:44:10While I say this, it sounds crazy. He's not that bad of a guy. Doesn't sound like it. Doesn't it? No, he sounds like a super guy. Are you still friends with him? No, oh no, oh no. What do you mean he's not that bad of a guy? He's a total D-bag, you know? But as far as being good to his own son, he's good to his own son. As far as you know. Well, you know, I still know. He's not good to his son. He's not good to his son. The reason that he's not good to his son is because that is the... He cheated on his mother. Yeah, yeah. It's the antithesis of good. Yeah, he is showing as an example to his son that. Just go grab what you want. Right. Well, I mean, my ex-wife, you know, in front of her son. I mean, there were, you know, three and a half and three. I mean, it's just, it's not like they, you know... Just because they're three doesn't mean they don't know. They totally get what's going on here. That's insane. Yeah, it's terrible, man. What's this young lady's name again? Danielle. Danielle. I think you need to nip this in the bud sooner than later if you really dig this guy and you want to stay with him. I think you need to nip it in the bud now. Yeah, I think so. It's hard.

1:45:29A pretty good rule of thumb is you don't really want to hang out with too many members of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship. I don't do it. You don't do it. We hang out with L.O.B. and Sienna. It's a bunch of us together. Rebecca and I don't go to lunch, and I don't take Kim to lunch, and you don't take Jamie jogging. Not that you know of. Not that I know of. Too much, like, one-on-one time. Yeah. But also, it's, like, four months in, and I don't know. I sound like I'm this, like, crazy jealous girl. Yeah. And I'm like, you can't, you know, telling them what you can and can't do. But I don't know. I want to be like, this makes me really uncomfortable. Hang on, Danielle. We're getting more calls. We're getting more calls. M1, Pat from Santee, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. How are you guys doing today? Good. Hey, yeah, I was calling in. I took the girls in with Danielle. Mm-hmm. I've been married for 23 years. I have no guy friends whatsoever. All of my friends are girls. They always have been. I think it's wrong for somebody to put their ideology on another person. If they're not comfortable with themselves, they can't change the other person, or you don't really have a long-lasting relationship because there's no trust there. Well, then do you think, Pat, that it's okay?

1:46:49for a guy to have female friends if he's married? Yeah, I do today. My wife trusts me so much. We went for work. We were going to this team building. Well, wait, before you tell me that story, though, Pat, if you're telling me that, aren't you putting your ideology on me? In other words, if you think that it's okay for guys to have female friends if they're married, you're telling me what... Your ideology is, and you're saying, hey, I think it's fine. So you're telling guys that are listening to you right now, hey, go for it. And you're discounting the fact that there could be a hot chick out there that dude's hanging with, that dude wants to get busy with.

1:47:51This guy thinks that it's okay and it's totally innocent that he's out jogging with a girl. If your wife was upset about you having all these female friends, what would you do? If she came to you and she told you that she was upset about it, what would you do? You have to really back up from when you're dating, from your boyfriend and girlfriend. It starts there. If she was to come to me 23 years later and say, hey, you know what? I don't like you having all these girlfriends. That's me. You're not changing that. I'm sorry, but you've accepted it for 23 years. Well, Pat, I still don't get it, bro. I don't get all the female friends. I mean, I don't know you. I don't get all the female friends. And if you have some female friends that are attractive and you guys hit it off on a friendship basis, I don't get it, bro. There's potential there. There's potential. There's potential.

1:48:51I totally disagree. I absolutely love my wife. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. True fact. True fact that you love her. I mean, I'm not discounting the fact that you love her. I believe that you love her. I also believe that if you're a straight man that is attracted to women and you have friends that are attractive and you're friends because you guys hit it off. you're never going to convince any straight guy listening to his radio right now that you don't get a little jumbly in the nether regions for some of those girls. I mean, you're never going to convince any dude of that. And the reason that you're not is because you're a straight guy, bro. I mean, that's what happens when you meet a girl and she's really good looking and you hang out with her one-on-one. Not with a whole group of people. Like, there's chemistry that can exist. Yeah, I have a bunch of girl friends. Yeah. But I don't hang out with them individually. You know, if I'm going to go hang out with my girl friends, Kim's with me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we would never go, hey, let's go run. But I have gone and surfed with another girl. But it's somebody that Kim knew really well. And another dude went with us. So it was three of us.

1:50:17are attracted to girls. I'm not discounting that. It's the boundaries. It's the line in the sand. Never. Yeah. Never. Tell that to every cheater, bro. Right. I mean, dude, that's what I said. You know, it's hard to convince a guy, you know, I'm a straight dude. You know, if I was hanging out with some girl that was really good looking and it was just me and her one-on-one. And we hung out all the time. And I'm attracted to her. And we get along as friends. And me and Rebecca get into a fight. And I'm just so, I'm at that point where I can't stand Rebecca. And Rebecca can't stand me. And we don't even want to see each other. And I'm just like, you know, call up, you know, fictitious girl. Let's call her Mary Jane. And I'm like, hey, Mary Jane. Hey, Mary Jane. Want to get high? Let's go get lunch. I mean, dude, it's just, you're telling me in 25 years of marriage you've never been in a fight with your wife? I'm telling you that my character says that I will never, ever cheat on her. As a man, I'm going to step up and I'm going to say prior to the cheating, this relationship is not working out for me. You ever been in a fight with your wife in those 25 years? Well, absolutely. Okay, and when you get in those big fights, you ever go to one of those friends of yours that's a girl?

1:51:37And talk to her about it, cry on her shoulder? Absolutely, positively never. Smart. That's very good. Dude, I'll give you credit for that. Well, they've been married 23 years, and I think, okay, take yourself back 23 years, okay? I'm there. And you've got these girlfriends, and Danielle and her boyfriend have been dating four months, right? Yeah. And you're four months in with your now wife, who you love, and you never cheat on, you've been with forever, and she tells you, like Mikey said, hey, listen, I'm not comfortable with what you're doing. Now, is that something you wouldn't have changed? You would have said, this is who I am and I'm out. You know, I'm going to break it off right now because this is the way I am and you can trust me. That's a difficult question to answer, but I got to say, if in four months in, she's going to say that, I would be willing to change if it's the person that I think that's for me. However, it would also raise very red flags to me that this person is not.

1:52:38No, with that bit. I can't determine, because this strikes a nerve with me, because I've had this conversation over and over again in relationships before, in a particular relationship, and I just never knew if I was... You're not. You're not crazy. I wasn't secure, and if I just wasn't compatible with that person and their ideals, and I felt at sometimes I was forcing something onto someone, but then when I hear you guys talk about it, I'm like, okay, well... Is it a compatibility? Listen, two weeks in, one week in, you know, you've been on two dates. That's a little crazy. Four months in, you've spent some time together. I don't think you're crazy. I think you're seeing the beginning of a new relationship and it makes you uncomfortable. I think you got to say something. Thanks for the call, Pat. I appreciate it. And Danielle, keep us updated. Will you keep us updated? Let us know how this goes. Yeah, I will do. I think we need to have a serious talk about it. Good luck. I had the serious talk. I know. Maybe I'll be like, you know what, babe? How about I do take up running? Yeah, there you go. Send us a picture of yourself. Oh, boy. She sounds like a little angel. That's so weird. Danielle, thank you. All right. Hey, Danielle? Yeah? Are you a brunette?

1:53:55Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought. What are you wearing? All right, weirdo. Thank you. Thank you, Danielle. Thank you. Hey, if you're calling and you're on hold right now, stay there. I want to talk to you. So if you're on hold right now and you want to weigh in on this, 570-1949. Can you give me a break? When you're a kid, remember the dog you do in the plastic, in the paper bag? Mm-hmm. And you set it on fire at the doorstep? Seen it, never did it. Never did it. Wanted to do it. Saw it in movies. Yeah, saw it in movies. It was fun. Of course Jay did it. Of course. I'll do it right now. I'm going to do it at Jay's house. You guys are rascal. On Halloween, I'm going to. I won't stomp on it. All right, so we've got people calling in about this topic of, you know, the guy that's running with his co-worker because she likes to run. And the girlfriend's like, hey, I feel weird about the fact that you're running with this attractive blonde. M1 Johnny from Lakeside, what do you think?

1:55:15Before we get into that, I'd just like to say you guys are fantastic. If I couldn't start my morning with you guys, I don't know what I'd do. Thank you, man. Thank you, dude. Appreciate it. Hey, by the way, Johnny, it is your responsibility as an M1 to spread the word. Do you know that there are still people that don't know that I switched from Rock 105? Shocking. Not my people. I'm telling you, man, I meet people all the time when I'm out doing like... When I'm speaking or whatever, I met a dude at a gas station. He's like, dude. He's like, so what did you get off the radio or you're not on the radio anymore? And I'm like, no, I am. I'm on FM 94.9. He's like, really? I tuned into the other station and you weren't on there anymore. And I didn't know if you were like on vacation or if you got fired or what the deal was. And it's really weird that they don't advertise it over there. Strange that they don't have commercials over at Rock 105 that say, Mikey, now heard on FM 94.9. But yeah, man, let your friends know. And if you're an M1, that's a deal. Let people know. In fact, Twitter it right now. If you have a Twitter account and you're listening to me right now, go on your Twitter and say, I want to see how many we can generate. Go on Twitter right now and go, The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. All right, go ahead, Johnny.

1:56:34I live up to my deal. Every time I pass one of my buddy's cars, I make sure that I pull a sticker out of my car and I stick it onto their car. Nice. This particular subject hits home with me. Personally, I think that what he's doing is 100% wrong. In fact, if he's doing that with somebody, it means... he's still playing the field to me. And that's just wrong. And I think that she should let him go and find somebody that's going to relish her for the love that she has to give. And that person should be dedicated to her. And if he wants to go out with other people or run with other people, then she should be able to go along. I don't think that this is... Well, she doesn't run. That was part of the deal. But I get what you're saying. And I think as soon as...

1:57:33As soon as she gives any resistance, it's over. I mean, in my mind. I got a question for you guys. Go ahead. What's your definition of a date? What's a date? A date is you are attracted to a girl and you ask her out for companionship. You do an activity of some sort. It would be an activity of some sort at a scheduled time with some degree of regularity, no? Yeah. Okay. This guy is dating. It's a date for all intents and purposes. They're getting together. They're talking. They're running. And they have a scheduled time. They're getting to know each other. They're talking about their feelings and what's going on in their lives. That's a date, dude. I mean, that's a date. If she found a guy, he'd be jealous. Oh, yeah. She has a boyfriend. Allegedly. Allegedly. But, okay, let's say she broke up with a boyfriend and they were still buddies. And they were running. She found a new guy, he'd be jealous. Same thing, reversed. Let's say she meets Frank at work, and she's like, well, Frank runs too. Do you mind if I bring Frank along? He's going to be like, hell no, you're not bringing Frank along. This is our time. This is our running club. This is our time. That is the key right there. If it's so harmless, why isn't...

1:58:43Why aren't there three or four people in the office that go running together? Yeah, why don't you guys start a running club? Absolutely. Me and two of my buddies used to go work out at lunch. I mean, I didn't like to go with myself. I like to go with those two guys. Yeah, dude, let's just go lift some weights, man. No, Frankie. It's a couple of dudes lifting weights. No big deal. Not in your apartment. Dude, why would we pay for club fitness if I got all the equipment, man? That's so stupid. I don't want to. I'm not paying for membership. Because you want to date, man. I don't want to date. I'm married. Don't get like that. I'm married. All right. We're arguing. I'm sorry. Come here. I'm one Sean from Menifee. Go ahead. Good morning. I honestly feel that a key to a successful relationship has to be trust. I do, too. But I also think that that's a very clever manipulation. Well, and also the key to a healthy relationship is not to date other people, and that's what this guy is doing. He has a scheduled time to hang out and visit real sweetly with this girl every single day. If I did that, my wife would slit my throat in my sleep. Hey, L.O.B. and I are going to spend an hour or two every day, and we work together, and we have to have chemistry in order for us to be successful.

2:00:09LLB and I don't go to lunch by ourselves. My wife would murder me, and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it. I love that bit, though, of like, oh, so you're insecure? Yeah. Oh, you don't trust me. So you don't trust me. Oh, you're the weird one. Right. Not me for going running with a hot blonde from my office. With a hot, gorgeous blonde that this woman said she's attracted to. You have a security problem or a trust issue. Give me a break. Come on now. We know that bit, you know? We know it. We've all been through it. It's just, it's not a smart thing to do. No, it's not. It's almost like you're rubbing it in their face. Like, you better trust me. You have to trust me. Well, this is the barometer for trust. Right. If you trust me, you'll let me date this girl. Exactly. It's just not smart, man. M1 Omar from San Diego. What was the word of the day? When? I say I've never done the bit where you put the stuff in the paper bag and light a fire at the doorstep. Very well done. You won a pair of tickets to see the Vince Vaughn and Kevin James Comedy Roadshow November 18th at Balboa Theater. That's awesome. Thanks, Mike. You got it. Hang on the line. All right. We're getting a lot of calls on this. I want Sammy from Escondido. Are you there? Yep. Go ahead. Hi. Well, first of all, I want to say I listen to you guys every morning. Great show. I love it. Thank you. Thank you. But I wanted to comment on the whole Danielle thing and say,

2:01:38that I do agree that she has every right to be a little bit jealous about it, but I don't think that that is, I don't think he's dating this other girl. I don't think that that is overstepping any lines. Like, for example, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and he has a lot of girlfriends, and I have a lot of guy friends, and we have to trust each other that nothing is going to happen when we're hanging out with those people individually. this guy is going to cheat on her, then he's going to do it anyway. And, like, running away from the temptation isn't going to solve the problem. It's just going to prolong it and make it more painful in the end. Sammy, how old are you? I'm 21. Sammy, you're playing with fire. You're just playing with fire. That's it. You're playing with fire. You may not get burned, but you might. And you probably will. Sammy, how old is your boyfriend? He's 28. Wow. Oh, boy. Hey, Woods, you ever been that guy? Oh. With your 21-year-old girlfriend? Yes. And you sell her that bit? Sell her that bill of goods real good? Yeah. You're like, hey, babe. You're being weird, babe. You're being weird. Hey, you know what? I got it. Ready? Yeah. This is why I don't date younger women. You're all crazy. No, but see, this is really the point that I've brought up to my boyfriend. Like, at first, he got really jealous about me hanging out with, well...

2:03:02My ex-fiancee, but I hang out. Oh, my God. I'm done. I'm out. I'm going to pull a Joy Behar. Yeah. Sammy, Sammy, do you mean the ex-fiancee that's still in love with you, that still, when you're around him, has that... unspoken electricity that you feed off of like an emotional vampire, like an emotional love vampire. Like when you hang out with him, you can tell that he's still in love with you, and it feels so good. It's warm. It warms your soul. It warms your soul, and so you continue to hang out with him. Even though you know you're not going to hook up with him, it still feels good that he likes you. It's innocent. And it's innocent. He is the father of my son, and so we will generally get together every couple weeks. and talk about our kid for lunch or something. And he's actually engaged to another girl now, so she's very nice. Well, listen, if you guys get together because you've got to talk about your kid, I get it. I understand that. Yeah, you have to. You have to, and you should. There's no avoiding it. You know, there's no avoiding it. However, this whole, like, I hang out with dudes one-on-one, and him hanging out with chicks one-on-one, if they're attractive, bad idea. It's bad. It's just bad. It's not.

2:04:21it's not going to end well, statistics say. It's just not. How about this? What's your boyfriend's name? Walter. Okay, so Walter, fake bit. Let's say that you and Walter get into a fight, okay? Let's say it's a real big fight, okay? Okay. And I'll be Walter, and my friend Lauren... Who is good looking, but we're just friends. Okay? Okay. Lauren says, hey, she calls me. I'm sitting home. It's about 8 o'clock on a Saturday night. She calls me. She goes, hey, come out. Get your mind off it. Get your mind off it. Let's come. Yeah, she's drunk. She's hammered. She's hammered. She's at a club, okay? Okay. And me and you are in a giant fight. And so I'm like, no, I don't really feel like going out tonight. Just come on. It'll be fun. What are you going to do at home? I don't know. You know where I'm at right now. Everybody's here. Everybody's here. It'll be fun. I'll buy you a drink. You come on. I was just going to go to sleep. Don't be a P word. All right. Come on. Fine. I'll be right there. So then I go down there and I hang out and I have a few drinks. You look nice.

2:05:48Good night. Oh, thanks. Good for you. Thanks. She doesn't know what she's missing. She doesn't. She doesn't. She'll come around and if she doesn't, we love you. And you know, by the way, by the way, you know, at some point during the night as they're both getting drunk, she's going to go, you guys are perfect together. You really are. Like she'll give you all that rap. She'll give you that whole bit. And then. I don't know how it'll happen, L.O.B., but what will she say? What will that girl say, that drunk girl that's the buddy? It'll suddenly turn from, you guys are perfect together. You guys are perfect together. And if she didn't see that, well, then guess what? She's the one that misses out. Because you're a great guy. Now it's turning just a little bit. You're a great guy. I've known that since in a minute. You're such a great guy. Since the minute I met you, I could tell you're a great guy. Oh, man. You're so nice. I mean that. I mean that. Look at you. You're cute, too. You don't have to put up with this. Done. And he, in his mind, here's him. Done. Done. Done. Here's him. Gotcha. And she and I were fighting, and she should have never left me on my own. Yeah. Because look at me now. Yeah.

2:07:08I'm hanging out on my shirt everywhere. It's over. That's why. Be careful, Sammy. Be careful. Sammy, you sound like a real sweet, young angel. I'm not saying that it's not possible, but I'm saying that if it does happen, I would rather have it happen sooner rather than later. No, no, no. You don't want it to happen at all. It's not necessarily pre-programmed. Sometimes circumstances push people over the edge. Yeah. It's not necessarily... He's not the right person for me if that does happen. No, but that's the deal, Sammy. You see, all of us men, I mean, I'm wired that way. I'm wired that way. You know, that's why I don't put myself in those situations because I'm wired that way. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's like, and if you're saying, well, I just won't end up with a guy like you, I'm telling you, I'm like... Of course they are. They're men, they're animals. To be fair, women are just as animalistic. We just hide it a little better. But I'm just saying that I have to trust my boyfriend and he has to trust me because we do both have friends of the opposite sex.

2:08:22And if something like that does happen, then it's going to happen no matter what. No, it isn't. No, it's no. I trust that my furniture is not going to spontaneously combust. But if I start putting matches and lighters next to it, candles too close. Leaving cigs in the ashtray on top of it. Sammy, did you hear what L.O.B. just said? Yes, the gasoline and the matches. Holy cow. That was brilliant. My curtains aren't just going to light themselves up, but I dance too closely with the candle. Yes, that's it. Her couch isn't suddenly going to burst into flames, but that doesn't mean that you fall asleep on the couch with a cigarette in your hand. You've got to fight for what you want. That's what Kim did. 23 years ago, I had all these girls come over the house. Kim was like, no. She just shut the door right in the girl's face, and the girls were like, what? Maybe you fight. You be the man, and you fight. Yeah. Yeah. So she just shut the door and it was like, it was over. I was like, see you guys later. Neither of us would have any friends. Oh, boy. Oh, really? Really? Sammy, all you need is each other, hon. That's right. No, you need friends. Yeah, you need friends. How about you all hang out together? Yeah, you all hang out together. Yeah, maybe you all guys all hang out together. Individually. Okay. All right, Sammy. Thank you very much. I bet Sammy's gorgeous, by the way. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. And I bet her 28-year-old boyfriend's a real good-looking cat. Of course. And he's hanging out with real good-looking girls and she's hanging out with good-looking guys.

2:09:45And that's dangerous. It's a recipe for disaster. Don't worry. You guys will get back together. A little shoulder to cry on. Yeah. Feels real good, doesn't it? I had a girl who slayed my ex when we were in a little gray area. It's called a break. Yeah. We were on a break. By the way, L.O.B. thinks a break is a bit. But she came up to me, unbeknownst to me, that they had gone and done the deed. And she's like, you guys are perfect together. Oh, yeah. You're so perfect together that I slayed it. Because they work together. He talks to by all the time. The whole office has the pool. When are you going to get married? Oh, wow. You and I need to hang out more. Give me your fun. Will you come to the bathroom with me? Here, hold my hand. Let's go to the bathroom. And she held your hand? Oh, yeah. She tramped me around the bar. for like a couple hours, and then I found out at the end of the night, let's just say I didn't exactly act like a lady. What'd you do, L.O.B.? Oh, boy. You found out the same night? Yep, after a couple cocktails. Oh, no. Let's just say I had to be held back by one of my male, two of my male friends. Welcome to new...

2:10:59Jersey. It happened in PB at Plum Crazy. My friends always joke around, oh yeah, you went Plum Crazy at Plum Crazy. Wow. Let me enter, let me, I'm gonna kill you. Did your Jersey side come out? I'm gonna kill you. Let me hear a Jersey girl yelling what kinds of things. I can't say it on the air. Well, yeah, you can't say all of it. I'm not going to hit her. Just let me at her. Let me talk to her. Let me talk to her. Let me talk to her. You had any of your frigging mind? You messed up with my boyfriend? I'll frigging kill you. I want to ask her some questions. Don't hold me back. What are you doing? You need to settle down. What are you doing? I'm going to go. Settle down. Get off. Get off. Get off. You're messing with my boyfriend. I'll freaking kill you. I'll sink your throat. What are you, freaking stupid? You're stupid over here. Over here. Over here. Oh, I love it. You're a whore. You're a whore. That's what you are. You're a whore. You're a whore. Janet Rossi in 4R. Janice Rossi. She's a whore. Did you whore in this building, Mr. Superintendent? That was a great night.

2:12:23Right up to that point. Dave Matthews, our friend Dave Matthews, who lives in our studio, he's apparently auto-tuned himself, and we'll get to hear what that's like next. Yeah. Welcome back. My name's Mikey, and I'm the host of The Mikey Show. And that's Woods. He's the guy wearing the black eyes on. That's L-O-B. She's the blonde to my right. Got Pearl Snap on today. Pearl Snap. Love it. Yeah. Love it. Sienna's not here. She's out on maternity leave. Be back one week from today. Woo. Woo. Cannot wait. Jay is our producer. 47 years of age, sitting in the other room. We can see him through the glass. And our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. It's Will. And Jared is our graphic designer. You see a billboard. You see a sticker. You see a t-shirt. You see anything has to do with the Mikey show. He did the graphic design on it, and he is awesome. And you can find him at Create Your Design online.

2:14:14Amazing stuff. Check him out. Dave, why don't you come in here? Oops. Look at that. Oh, no. Sorry, man. Oh, Dave. Be careful. Sorry, man. Easy with the tailor. Look out. That's a tailor. Oh. Dropped it. Had a long night. Last night I was partying with the... There's a chair right there. Partying. Sorry, man. I'm sorry. That's a guitar. Was. Partying with Garrett last night. We were up here picking out 8 o'clock albums all night long. Garrett Foster or Garrett, our program director? Garrett Michaels. Got it. He never spins my records, though. He doesn't? Nobody really does anymore. Yeah, that's because most radio stations have gone away from vinyl. But they do play your CDs. No, they're not playing much, man. I'm kind of out of touch. I think you've got great music, and I think people still do play it. I don't know who you're talking about. I don't think so, man.

2:15:18You look tore up. Not exactly the format we have here, but still good. Well, L.O.B., I'm trying to just, I want to do something different, man. I'm trying to experiment with some things, and nothing's really working out for me lately. No? You heard my new song. I mean, it's freaking terrible. I haven't heard it. Why I am. You've heard it. It's terrible. Why I am. I think that's good. Sounds great. Look at, you're not shaved, and you're wearing a... Dirty robe. Dingy. It's very dingy. Opened up your vocal cords for the first time this morning. That sounded great. I've given up. Can we play your new sound? Yeah, I was fooling around in the studio with Hanson and Tommy last night, and they got a couple things, and Aiken was there. There was a bunch of guys from up here, man, good guys. You live here now? Yeah. Yeah, we're roommates. Well, by roommates, do you mean the other people that work in the building? Right. Nobody else lives here except you. You're the only person. They're like roommates because they're in my room. Well, yeah, but I wouldn't necessarily call it your room. It's a business office. As far as you know. All right, let's play your new sound. I was trying to rap. What were you saying? It's just gibberish.

2:16:42Didn't make sense. Basically, I figured, you know, if Lil Wayne and all those guys can do it, I can do it. Please never play it again. Dave. There's no guitar. Where's the guitar? There's no guitar. I did that one, freestyle, and then I did another one. I grew up on NWA, the public enemy. But I was born with an acoustic guitar in my hand. It's time to combine my... That's a wrap. Got a little something there, I think. Dave. I can like it. I think it sounds desperate. I think you're reaching. I think you're reaching and I don't think you need to stoop to that level. I don't see it selling, but it could be like comical. I love it. Why am I sweating? It's fabulous.

2:18:23That was a very unusual day. He's a weird, weird dude. He's a strange guy. Oh my gosh, that was funny. Yeah, even Woods cringed when he played that. Sure did. I want that as my ringtone. That's catchy. It's very catchy. It's gonorrhea. Woods, how can you... Woods, why do you rip your headphones off? I don't. What are you doing? Done? Yes. I got the volume down. I guess I don't have to rip my headphones off. Are you trying to kill me? Oh, my goodness. I got to go into your computer and delete that. You're right today. Are you kidding me? It's the best, man. I like it. Hello, hello, yes? Hello? Hello, yes? Yes. Welcome once again, ladies and gentlemen, to old-time radio. This is a portion of the show where we brought our time to the radio of the past right here in San Diego. Why does Catherine Hepburn do our...

2:19:49Intro. I'm not Catherine Hepburn. I'm a gentleman from the 19... Yes, I am. You sound just like a woman. Well, if I were Catherine Hepburn, perhaps I would sound more like this. Or if I were doing an imitation of someone from my past, perhaps I would sound a bit like this. I would do this voice, which I haven't heard in my own ears for quite a while. Right. Sort of fun. But to that voice, I like doing it. It's kind of fun. Hello, hello, hello, hello, yes. Hello, hello, hello, hello, yes. Anyhow. Somebody's crazy. Anywho. Old time radio. Here we go. Love it already. Excuse me. The blue beetle. Blue what? Beetle. Beetle? It's a beetle flying at you. Yes. Yeah, it sounds like it. That's with all the organ. Waiting down upon the underworld to smash gangland comes a friend of the... Gangland? Smash gangland. No doubt in my mind, the guy that recorded that recorded it in bra and panties. But he looked like J. Edgar. Yeah, the mustache. And he had black socks and dress shoes on. Black socks with, like, those suspenders that come up to the knee.

2:21:36And he's smoking a cigarette and he's sitting in a chair cross-legged with a microphone down in front of his mouth. With a bra and panties. But it was like the old grandma panties. Yeah, it covered everything. And it was a brassiere. I remember those. Those were nice. Oh, yeah. Well, you remember when they were made of wood, Jim. Powerful character. A problem to the police. But a crusader for law. In reality, Dan Garrett, a rookie patrolman. Loved by everyone, but suspected by none of being the Blue Beetle. As the Blue Beetle, he hides behind the screen. The Blue Beetle. Sitting in a boardroom, like, what do we call him? I'd be kind of interested to see a Blue Beetle. I want to know, I want to know, is it, I think he's a superhero. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a bandit. Oh, yeah. He's a bandit. ...and a suit of impenetrable blue chain armor. Flexible as silk, but stronger than steel. Somebody fell on the organ. She's had a heart attack and died. Today's episode of the Blue Beetle is entitled The Invisible Ghost. Isn't that a redundant statement? Yeah, the invisible ghost. The pale white guy. It's called the jumbo shrimp, actually. That's a different one. That's an oxymoron. Who in secret operates as the Blue Beetle. Today matches Brains and Brawn with a cowardly ruthless gang of crooked slot machine racketeers. Can he spike their plans to flood the city with crooked gambling devices?

2:23:09We'll be able to uncover the mysterious leader who directs their activities. What is behind their endeavor to install their machines at John's... As our story opens... They were just saying stuff no one knows you're talking about. They were just talking to the microphone like this and nobody else had any clue what the hell you're talking about. Dr. Phlegm. Dr. Phlegm? Dr. Phlegm. Dr. Phlegm. Danny, I've been studying up on slot machines. Yes? This is the same man doing a different voice. He's been studying up on the sounds of lamps. No doubt. You find anything interesting? Well, I'm convinced that the difference between an honest machine and a dishonest or crooked machine is very slight. In fact, I'd say the difference was purely academic. What do you mean, Doc? Of course, you realize I'm referring now to nickel and dime or quarter in the slot machines from which you'll return if any... By the way, a quarter back then was worth $1 million. That doesn't include vending machines for candy, chewing gum, cigarettes, etc. Oh, no, no, of course not. I'm speaking about those machines where you put a coin in the slot.

2:24:19I know, we got it. You told us the first time. You put a coin in a slot, you pull the thing, a bunch of coins come out. Yeah, I got it. Wow. Let me tell you one more time in case you don't get it. It's a machine. You put a coin in, you pull the slot, and a bunch of coins fall out. I don't understand. You're telling me... It's a machine. Not like a cigarette machine or a candy machine. It's a machine. You put a coin in, you pull the slot, and a bunch of coins come out. And prostitutes fall out. Yes, yes. Sluts fall out. Yes. You're telling me this is called a slut machine? Slut machine. A slut machine. That's a terrible name for a machine. It'll never sell. It's 1935. Oh, I believe it will sell. Let's change it just slightly to slot. Now that will work. We'll know what we're talking about. We'll know what we're getting. But to the general public, it'll be a slot machine, which makes no sense. No one knows what a slot is. But if I say that girl's being slotty, you'll know exactly what I mean. I've seen some of the boys on the force play the machines in Charlie's Cigar Store. How about the broad on the force? What? I don't know. Not often, I'm sure. Yeah, precisely. It's 1934. There's no broads on the force. You know that. I have a question for you. Why are we laying in bed having this conversation? Blah. What do you think this fraternity was chanting that has people kind of freaking out at Yale? Another Tylenol recall? This time, it's a musty odor. Really?

2:26:03Two words I can't stand. Slut machine. Musty and odor. We'll tell you what it was next. Woods. Hi. What were the fraternity dudes chanting at Yale that guys people in an uproar? Dude. What is it? All right, so these guys were pledges at a fraternity at Yale. Yeah. Pledges of Delta, Kappa, Epsilon, Phi chapter. They're heard shouting rape, trivializing phrases such as, quote, No means yes, and quote, yes means anal, quote, end quote. Really? Yes. What? Where were they chanting that? Outside their fraternity house, and somebody got it on film. Weird. 150 students kind of marched down and said, hey, this is ridiculous. Yeah, fast forward the tape. Yeah, what good is going to come of that? Yeah, guys, you think that's going to work out good? Wow. Yeah. Idiots. Idiots.

2:27:16Tell me about the Tylenol recall. Yeah, it stinks. It stinks. It stinks. Yeah, it's a musty odor. Yeah, there's 128,000 bottles of Tylenol have been recalled. So when you smell the inside of the bottle, it smells musty? Yeah, musty and moldy. Gross. Yeah, filthy. Yeah, the product is adult Tylenol eight-hour caplets sold in 50-count bottles in the United States and Puerto Rico. Thick dust, grime, and contaminated ingredients in the Fort Washington plant. Maybe they clean. I was going to say, I wonder if there's pantry moths in there. Like they are in my kitchen. LB ever overreact to situations? No. You threw things out. It's not a made up bit. You threw stuff out. Threw everything out. You threw everything out. I froze some things that weren't open yet. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So funny. That is extreme LB. Contaminated. You got to stop the spreading before it starts.

2:28:16That was an overreaction. Let's get rid of it all. Toss it all. She threw her house away. I wish there was a camera on me. I was standing on the, I almost fell off the step stool. Standing and I was like, why are you doing this to me? And I was like batting at the moth. By herself. She's an interesting human. Sometimes, yeah. She's fit for a straitjacket sometimes. Yeah, and I had my pumpkin spice candle was going too, and I threw the magazine down and it landed inches from the candle. I was like, oh my gosh, what if I started a house fire because I was swatting in a mob? You are something. A pantry mob. You're something else. That's what I'll say about you. That's one thing to say. Let's do some new releases. Yeah, let's do that. What's coming out today? You got all kinds of stuff. We got movies. We got... You know, on DVD and we got music. Yeah. First, let's start with music and what's coming out today. Let's do it, man. What do you got? I'm all over it. Let's get ready to do some new releases. Weirdos. We're going to do some new releases. So how about this one first? Let's go with All Star Weekend. Suddenly yours. Bob Dylan, the bootleg series. Hold on. Don't you dare. What's worse than like a produced Bob Dylan record?

2:30:00The bootlegs. Oh, stop it. What's better than a produced? Well, it's up in the morning trying to find a job or work. You stand in one place till your feet begin to hurt. If you got a lot of money, you can make yourself marry. If you only got a nickel, it's a Staten Island ferry. And it's hard times in the city. Living down in New York town. I have no snare in my headphones. Mr. Hudson, come a-sailing down. You're a mystery when you hadn't paid for his dream. We want more trouble. We want more trouble on that. That's good. Imagine the guy that taped that was so... Asleep. No. No, he was 100% in. He's probably tapping his foot, nodding his head. Smoking a fresh jerk real good. I'm sure. Maybe sipping on an espresso. I liked it better later when it was called Thank God I'm a Country Boy. Sun's coming up, I got kicks on the griddle, and life ain't nothing but a funny, funny riddle. How do you know that didn't come first?

2:31:00Are you kidding me with that? Catchy. How do you know that wasn't first? Catchy. Tune. How do you know that's not from back in the 60s? I really want to get in my car and put the sunroof down and hit play on the... I do. Yeah. Homophobic, actually. I thought we already did old-time radio. Yeah, seriously. Elton John and Leon Russell, The Union. I will not download that. Nor will I. This one you might. The Kings of Leon Come Around Sundown. I like that they get it now and they do stuff that I can sing along to. Oh, that's cool. Stephen Page from the Bare Naked Clowns, page one. I'll never like that dude's voice. I'm not in on that. Liz Phair, fun style. I feel like I'm browsing through jeans at a really cool store in the mall. I like it.

2:33:38Phantom band, The Wants. Shakira Sale El Sol. I'll take a number three and can I get, I'll just take an iced tea with no sweetener and instead of lemon, can I get a lime in that? Can I get a side of tortillas? Corn tortillas, actually. This next guy. Maybe hang him up, Rod Stewart. Fly me to the moon. My goodness. No, no, no, no. That's the new Liza record. Liza, you never open your eyes. You just sit there, you say it. No, I don't. I barely open my mouth. Sugarland, or Sugarland, The Incredible Machine.

2:35:18I bet she's wearing very expensive designer jeans. Does she ever just repeat her lyrics? Third day, Miguel. Move. Like third day. It sounds kind of new country-ish to me, which I didn't know that they were like that. They're southern rock. They'll go real southern rock. They'll go real twangy sometimes, and they'll go back to the rock thing. They do all kinds of stuff. Yeah, and then on DVD today? Mm-hmm. Today's what, the 19th? Yes, sir. Sure is. Oceans. Oh, is that the documentary? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Please Give. Never heard of it. Predators. Predators. Predators. Is that with Samuel L. Jackson? Sure. Or Mr. Rick R. Jackson? I think Samuel L. Okay. Kings of the Evening. Never heard of it. Me neither. Never heard of any of these. Maybe you look at them first. What was it?

2:36:49Maybe Sienna comes back to work. One week. She'll be back. Next Tuesday, Sienna will be giving us the new releases. Yeah, and they'll probably sound professional. I'll be giving you sports. Woods opens his computer up, and he's like, I'll be giving you sports. Guess as good as my mind. A little laugh. Doesn't matter. Now that you're going to watch them anyway. There's nothing on DVD. I was in Blockbuster yesterday. Or you'll say that you will, and then you won't. That's not about me. It's about all those. Young men out there listening right now in Radioland. I just gave them four, so feast on those. There you go. 570-1949 is our number, and you can give us a call. Let's see. Okay, Woods has told me that this is a good story, and I want to hear about it. The $8 million iPhone. What's the deal with the $8 million iPhone in Britain? I don't know. There's a jeweler. There it is. What's the deal?

2:37:50It's a British jeweler, Stuart Hughes. He is known for his expensive remakes of popular gadgets. And this guy, dude, he built a diamond-clad iPhone 4 with a price tag of 5 million pounds. What was wrong with the regular phone? It's not. Well, did you need all the jewels and the other business? Not enough bling, I guess. It's a handmade 500 individual flawless diamonds that total more than 100 carats. I bet Sienna has one. Stuart. Yes. You ever get carried away? A bit. You know, the problem is that no one's going to believe that it's real diamonds. So what have you done? I've done a mistake. That's what I've done. What have you done now with the phone? Well, where is it, you mean? Where is it? I flushed it. What? Down the loo. Why would you do that? Because it's a piece of crap. No one's going to believe that it's real. Eight million dollars down the bloody toilet. Down the loo. The bloody toilet? Yeah, I threw it down the loo. Gross. What would you... That's a fit of anger. Forgive me. What's the matter with this American bloke? Well, he only made two. He only made two of them. He made two? He made two. Yeah, if you buy one, the chances of bumping into somebody that has the same one is pretty slim. Nobody would buy it because it's fake. Sienna would get it. Mom, Mom, I want a freaking $8 million iPhone. Maybe someone takes a bedazzler out of that guy's hands. Maybe Sienna's grandma will give it to her. Yeah, and maybe Sienna's grandma will give her sister.

2:39:13Waverly will get 35 cents. A nickel can with a string. Would you like this pigeon feather that I found outside in the driveway? It's covered in dung. Waverly, dear. Waverly, dear. There's an old pile of dung. Waverly, dear. I just gave your sister an $8 million iPhone. Would you like a little piece of grain that I found outdoors? Don't use the phone. It's not for you. Not yet. I just gave your sister $8 million in cash. Would you like a used-up pen? There's no ink in it. You can find a used-up pen, I'm sure. Let's see. The Facebook app thing. You heard about this? Apparently, there's a Facebook app, and it's selling your personal information. Maybe don't play Farmville. Yeah, dude, that's the bad stuff. Is that what it is? I think so. And if you do... Please don't hit me up. Yeah. Or your farm will need space. I don't want to help you buy corn. I don't want to be part of your mafia. No. I really don't. I don't. Here we go. Go ahead, Wood. Read this thing first. I'm giving him all the stories that he said. Dude, you got to do these stories, man. Kill me, kill me. You got to do these stories. Where's Hillary? Shouldn't she be coming in? No, we have another break, you clown. We do? Do Facebook stories, dude. We got a break.

2:40:43No, seriously. It's been transmitting identifying information like people's names and in some cases their friends' names to dozens of advertising and internet tracking companies. You don't want to mess with that stuff. You don't say. How do you stay away from it? I do say. You just don't do it. Yeah, Farmville, Zynga, and Texas Hold'em, which I'm a member of and now I'm getting out of there. I played it once. Paris Hilton is doing community service because she got arrested in Vegas. She described what she's doing for community service. Well, I'll just let her tell you. Next. Yes. Eight foot tall, Ted Nugent. Saw these guys in concert. Me too. With Bad Company. Me too. Same tour. He's like, I've never heard of damn Yankees before. I have heard of damn Yankees. Have you? Yeah. Sienna would not have heard of damn Yankees. It's good stuff. That's good driving music. Not for me. What do you listen to when you drive? Everything. No, I do like to listen to Bob Dylan when I drive. What do you listen to? Everything. A lot of reggae. A lot of classic rock. Led Zeppelin is a really good driving. Do you make yourself CDs? Uh-huh. You do? Mm-hmm. Do you have like a mix CD in your car? Yeah, I have like a stack of mix CDs in my car. What's in there? Everything. Yeah? Mixes. Yeah. Remember when we used to all do bumper music? Mm-hmm. I would save those CDs and put them in my car.

2:42:48So you're sitting there rocking out the Bad Moon Rising? Yeah. That's a good driving song. It's really good. Not really. I like to listen to Beastie Boys and point with my hand at the windshield. Do you? Uh-huh. Even when you're on the freeway? Oh, yeah. I've stopped caring about people seeing me sitting in the car. No way. I used to be super like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that person just saw me. But you don't care now? No. When did that happen? Maybe like five years ago. Yeah, I think that's when it happened for me too. Yep, I don't care. I'd do air drums, air guitar, the whole thing. You should see me at a concert. Oh, boy. I used to do a feature on my show called Mikey's Gay Pod. Yeah? Yeah, because I would just shuffle my iPod. You had to take a guess whether the song that came up would be kind of effeminate or not. Because you never know what you're going to get with Mikey. You never know what you're going to get. It's like a box of chocolate. That's right. This is on my...

2:43:55iTunes. Oh, this is good. I like Dino. Is this White Flag? Yeah. It's a jam. You like it? Yeah, I love it. Not a lot of guys are willing to admit that. Oh, dude, this is great. I will go down with this shit. Not a lot of guys are willing to admit how much they like John Mayer's music. Really? Yeah. I love it. I like that song. Oh, it's so good, dude. She was with Eminem, so she's got street cred immediately. Really? She did Stan with Eminem. I used to date a plebeian. Plebeian. Plebeian. And I told her that I used to sing John Mayer music in my shower. And that I would look at the tile and sing into the tile. That was it. You are a sad, strange little man. You know what? She was over it? Really? Yeah, because she knew.

2:45:03There's no way. There's no way. I might have learned a new Alice in Chains song last night, and when my wife wasn't home, I might have played it in front of the mirror in our bathroom. I might have gone into the bathroom last night. Were you nude? No, I was not. I had boxers on, and that's it. And I might have played this. Wait, I messed it up. I might have played this. Looking at yourself? Yeah, in the mirror. Were you looking at your hands or your face? Yep, my hands. I might have concerts in my shower when my wife's not home. I might. I do that. Yeah. Carnegie Hall every night in my shower. Oh, boy. Loud. Mm-hmm. What do you sing? Everything. Whatever I was just listening to. Honey. Oh, boy. You sing that? It's been a couple days, actually. Do you sing that? I set myself up.

2:46:10Oh, geez. Santa cutie. Oh, gosh. What a problem. Christmas tree. Oh, my gosh. Stop. Thank you. Leave me alone, you monsters. Thank you. Santa cutie. La, la, la, la, la, la. Santa baby. I love you, Santa, Santa baby. While you're in the shower, man. Beat it. Why are you guys in the shower together? Don't beat it, but get out of the shower. We're going to be at the same time. Why are you in here? Get out of my shower. I was taking the shower and I turned around and you were standing there. You've been hogging all the time. It was back. Hey. Turn around. Turn around. I go cheeky cheeky on this one. Get out of the shower. It's not funny. Get out. Hey. Hey. Get out of the shower before my wife gets home.

2:47:19and thinks it's weird that there's two guys in the shower. We're recording a bit. It's fine. Singing Santa Baby. Yeah, but we're nude, so that's not fine. Get out. I'm out. You're not out. I'm out. Freaks. Do you want to go butt to butt on this one? Cheek to cheek. Cheek to cheek. M1 Chris from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, you guys? What's going on? I forgot what I called it. The cheek totally got me. That's all I wanted to say I'm really looking for. Me and Mikey just in the shower singing songs. Oh my god, I just got such a visual off that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how you did. Oh, really? Yeah. It's very creep. Whoa. Hey. I'm not kidding, dude. Get out of here. Who are you doing? I'm trying to take a shower. Get out. What's that little guy? That's not funny.

2:48:26It's rude. Get out of here. You call that a pee-pee? That's the way you're going to act? If you're going to act like that, you can't take a shower with me. Get out. Why do I have shampoo? I don't have hair. Why do I have that? Why do I have 80 billion grooming products? Oh my gosh. I don't want that, just that one to be my ringtone. No. M1 John from National City. Man, I just wanted to call and let you guys know that I absolutely love the show. Thank you. Woke up this morning, my car got stolen. What? Dude. Yeah, man, my car, my three car seats, I'm going to drop my kids off. Stinks. Stinks.

2:49:28It was a horrible morning. Me and my girlfriend, we live together. So she has a car, too. And we work at the same place. So I got in the car. I wasn't in a good mood. Turned the show on. And you guys keep my day going. You know what I'm saying? Thank you, John. Thank you. We absolutely love the show. I got my girlfriend into it. And now she can't go today without listening. She loves Senior Beans. To hear him this morning. And I just want to let you guys know. I used to go to the morning every morning listening to music. I don't listen to music in the morning anymore. That's great. I listen to you guys' show. Thank you. I absolutely love it and love what you guys are doing. Spread the word, man. Let people know. Absolutely. I already told a couple of friends. I called a total friend last week, actually, and he sent me a text in the morning because he has a little radio on the station. He said, I'm listening to the Mikey show. Sweet. Great. He laughed my butt off. It's a grassroots deal, man. Spread it like syphilis, pal. You know what I mean? Good luck with your car. Yeah, get your car back. I appreciate it, man. Thank you. Wood's favorite thing. That's my favorite. He likes to spin me out. Yeah. Hi, Hal. Oh, come on. I don't get it. You'd think that we'd have it figured out. I know. Apparently not. Apparently we do not. How are you doing? I'm doing great. How are you guys? Terrific. Having a ball. Was it raining on your way in? No, it's actually not. Supposed to get an inch of rain today. No way. They say.

2:50:50It's not too bad out there right now. Cloudy. So what do you got coming up? Well, I grabbed a few things. Local natives, primists. I'm going to start with the Ramones. And when I walked into the studio, Garrett played Fitz in the Tantrums last night. New record for his 8 o'clock album. So he left it in there. Didn't clean up after himself. So I will play something off that, too. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, by the way, is The Pretenders Learning to Crawl. Love The Pretenders. So good. Tomorrow, we got some good topics for you tomorrow. Tomorrow we're doing, and you can even start thinking about it now, craziest scene you've ever seen occur in a restaurant. Nice. Oh, that'll be good. Has a scene ever unfolded right in front of you? We got to tell the Bark Malman story too tomorrow about... He's a notorious Lothario, can't settle down, won't settle down. He's got a new girlfriend, and we've got to tell him all about it because it's hysterical. Well, and it's something that every guy can relate to and have an opinion about. He's a clown. Yeah, Woods had to set Malman straight. Which is funny because we spent most of our lives him setting me straight. I'm the grown-up one now. Yeah, now you're the grown-up. That's a scary thought. Isn't that weird? I know.

2:52:08Lovely and talented Hillary's up next. And the Mikey Show's back tomorrow at 6. We'll see you then. Mikey Show's out late.