The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/22/10

1:32A Friday with a lot. We got a good studio audience in here today. We are ready to go. We got so much to do today. Hopefully we'll have enough time to get through everything we have. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's sitting right across from me. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She's sitting to my right. Jay is our producer. He is separated by glass to the left. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. It's Chris. It's Chris. It's Krog. It's Krog. Hi, Krog. And got a studio audience. We got you on the phones right now. 570-1949. Call in right now. Beginning and end of every show. Open phones for M1 Nation. The M1s are our listeners. Mikey Show listeners. You don't listen to other shows.

2:38You listen to us exclusively. Yeah, you don't flip. Yeah, you don't flip. Don't flip. That's weak. Yeah. And you know who you are. Don't flip. Yeah. Don't flooze around. No. You know what I mean? It's called commitment. Right. Be committed. Right. Because if you come over after you've been, you know, around somewhere else, you'll be like, that's a different perfume. I smell something really weird. What's that on your collar? Yeah. Yeah. And you'll be like, what? I didn't know. Yes, you did. Why is there glitter on your clothes? Don't flip. You know what I mean? What's a receipt in your pocket? That's right. When did you go to Donovan's? Oh, me and the boys went there for lunch. It says 8 p.m., though. I mean, for dinner. Who's this text from Kelly with an XOXO? Oh, he's in my growth group. He's a guy. It's a dude. Maybe don't sniff around my phone. Good God. The word of the day, ironically, is deceitful. Wow. The word is deceitful. Yep. Now, check this out. Here's the deal with this. When I say the word deceitful between now and 10 a.m., Caller 9 is going to get a pair of tickets to go to UFC 121 in Anaheim tomorrow. Tomorrow night. That's right. Real good. Real good. That is rad.

4:05Tom Tom tunes at 730. We got an email from a 29-year-old guy that works with a girl whose dad owns the restaurant they work at. He likes her. She likes him. And he wants to know, hey, listen, do I need to, like, talk to the dad? What do I do about this? By the way, did we mention he's 29? She's 18. I want to squeeze him. So we will talk about that coming up in just a little bit. Big creep. Yeah. You mean Jay? He hit the sound effect, not me. No, not Jay. Chargers home game. This is going to be the first home game televised. Is that correct? What are we, week eight now? Week seven, week eight? Yeah. Enough tickets got sold to where they're going to let us watch that game on Sunday. Sunday begins at 1.15 p.m. against those nasty Patriots from Boston. Nice. Nice. By the way, let me hear it from my Outside the Bowl peeps. Outside the Bowl, of course, is the organization that I'm going to be going to Haiti with. And I'm looking forward to it. And they're also bringing Cutlass to town, which is one of my favorite bands. I'm going to be there. Not sure really what I'm doing there, but I'm going to be there. Drumming. I'll be drumming for Cutlass.

5:29Be backup drummer. Be hysterical. Right. Back rubs. Back rubs. That's right. The concert's Friday, November 12th. And to get tickets to it. And by the way, the money goes to Outside the Bowl, which helps to feed hungry kids. So you're really making an impact if you buy these tickets. Outsidethebowl.org. And it's going to be really, really a cool night, man. So the Chargers are getting their home game. Yeah. They're playing the Patriots. Yes, sir. Tom Brady. Pretty boy. So handsome. Got a lot of injuries. Yeah, got a lot of injuries. Floyd's kind of limpy. I don't even think he's playing. Gates is banged up. Yep. You lost your kicker, Nate Kading. They signed Chris Brown. Not the rapper. Not the guy that beat up his girlfriend, Leanna, but the kicker, Chris Brown. Right. Now, we could talk about that until the end of time, and we actually will. talk about the Charger game. I want to talk more about the Charger game, but what I really want to talk about is my friend L.O.B. I'm going to put the news stories down, and I'm going to sit back. Kick your feet up. Kick my feet up, and let's get into this. I am ready to dive in because L.O.B., for about a month now, I have to say it's at least three to four weeks, right? I think it's going on three weeks. Three weeks. L.O.B. has experienced itching.

6:55Every time you say that, I itch. She starts to itch. And she makes me itch. I know. Now when she first came in with the itching, she said, and it's everywhere. It's everywhere. It is not localized. It's all over her scalp, her arms, her neck, everywhere. And she said she'll be laying in bed and she'll be just scratching and itching. It's terrible. And so she said bedbugs. She was sure it was bedbugs, even though she doesn't have any evidence of bedbugs. Bed bugs anywhere. Immediately it was bed bugs. Immediately it was bed bugs, and we said, well, have you checked your bed for them? You can detect them. She said, yes. I said, well, how many do you have? She said, none. I said, okay. I checked with a microscope, and then I flipped the mattress. Magnifying glass. Magnifying glass. What did I say? Microscope. Yep, I meant a magnifying glass. I used a telescope to really... Couldn't see it. I saw Jupiter. It's the cold medicine. I'm so loopy. So, no evidence of bed bugs. Okay. And so after she got done with that, then she said, okay, if it isn't bed bugs, maybe I'm a meth head. And I said, okay. Stop doing meth. Yeah. Do you take meth? She said, no. And I said, okay, well, then that can't be it. What else did you think it was, LLB? I thought it was.

8:12Woods convinced me I had fleas. Fleas. Even though I don't have any pets. Even though she doesn't have pets. I thought maybe scabies. Right, could be scabies. Scabies. Could be scabies. Could be rabies. I thought something called like keratin pilarsus. Keratin pilarsus. The, it was a. New age band. New age band, yeah. Keratin pilarsus. Out of Sweden. Indie jam. Yeah, indie jam. They're going to be playing indie jam and Coachella next year. Keratin pilarsus. Yeah, keratin pilarsus. Okay, so. I said, well, what are you going to do about it? She goes, I'm going to go see a doctor. I said, well, two things wrong with that. I said, number one, he's probably going to kick you out of his office or her office. Her. Her office. Her, obviously. Because. You know, you probably don't have anything. But I said, and the second thing is, you shouldn't go to a doctor. You should go to a dermatologist because they deal with the skin. Derma means skin. Derma means skin. Derma means skin. Largest organ in the human body. There you go. If you tell someone that their epidermis is showing, they'll get a little freaked out. They will. But until you explain to them that epidermis means outer skin. So yesterday you went. Yep. And? Drum roll. I wish I had one. Oh, okay.

9:25Nothing. Of course. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Of course. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait. When I say... What did I say in my email to you yesterday, Mike? It was the most hilarious thing. I laughed out loud. I laughed so hard. My wife came from the front of the house and walked all the way back to the house. She goes, what's so funny? I go... Lauren just wrote me an email and said all this stuff and then at the very end of it signed her name and below that put P.S. Dermatology is a bit. Wow. Okay. Here's the thing. She's itching right now. Yeah. See? Here's the thing. I don't think I've ever been to a doctor and not gotten a diagnosis. Yeah. I don't think I ever have. Yeah. So I went yesterday and I'm like, you know, just like itching and they're like, oh, we're just going to have like the PACU, whatever. Physician's assistant. So she comes in and she's like, okay, so what what what seems to be the problem? Oh, I'm itching all over. Does it seem to be localized at all? Same questions. My yes. No, you know, it's just kind of it'll start in one spot and then once it gets in my head, it's everywhere. And she's like, huh? Like lifting up the little paper gown, looking at everything and is like, hmm, asking me a million questions and then just like, okay, well, hmm.

10:51I'll be right back. And then she went and got the MD, the doctor, who then asked the same questions. And then they both crossed their arms and just looked at me like I was a meth head. But they go, hang on a second. We're going to fly somebody in from Harvard. Seriously. Well, I did have some bumps on my legs. So they were like, well, here's what we could do. The doctor said this. Just for fun and curiosity, we could take a little biopsy of one of those. We could freeze it. scoop it, take it out, and we could send it on to the pathologist, and we could may or may not find out what it is. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. So did they prescribe anything? Lotion? What did you say to that, by the way? Neutrogena. Huh. So they're like, yeah, you know, sometimes the results will come back and it'll just say, we don't know. Or it could say something or, you know, it's just one of those things. Yeah, you could have the plague. Yeah, she was like, it could be dry skin. It could be the weather. It could be stress. It could be all of the above. Yeah, it could be anything I found out on the Internet about myself.

11:58Wow. Yeah, to the biopsy thing, I was like, uh, okay. They're like, yeah, you might want to not do it in a place that shows because it might leave a little mark. Yeah, because what we're going to do is take a melon baller to it. That's how we're going to remove it. Well, and she said, have you taken anything orally? Methamphetamine. Like Benadryl or anything like that. Heroin. And I was like, no, because I don't like to treat symptoms because I want to know what it is. Right. And she was like, well, technically, you know, if you took an antihistamine, then a histamine is what makes you itch. So an antihistamine would stop. But, you know, anyway, so they gave me a prescription. They gave me like a whole packet of like lotions and shampoos and all this like non-irritating stuff to try. And then a prescription for a. antihistamine and a prescription for like a steroid lotion to stop any sort of inflammation. Pamphlets about crack intervention. Pamphlets about hypochondriacism. No. I was, I swear I think they thought I was crazy. I'm sure. Well, we did. We did. Still do. I feel like there's bugs kind of crawling on my skin. Oh my gosh. You know, I was like. She's fantastic. I swish it on my arms and they're just like, huh. Huh.

13:12I kind of can't get enough of L.O.B.'s It's weird. It's so strange. It's so strange. Because I knew it in my head. I was like, there's nothing wrong with her. She's got nothing wrong with her. Nobody just makes up itching. No, you do itch. You do. You can. But what's great about it is that you don't itch until we say you itch. It's psychosomatic. Then you forget that you itch and you don't itch, and then we'll be like, man, it's itchy, isn't it? And she's like, oh my gosh. Oh, well. The thing is, I'm not going to fill the prescription. Really? You're not? No. Why? Was it a prescription for an ointment or a lotion or something? Just like all the steroids. I'm going to put steroids on my skin. What if it helps you? What if it bulk up? Because I don't want to. I just, you know, I'll just wait it out. She doesn't want to put steroids on her skin. No, they told me to stop. I did start a new lotion like two months ago. No, yeah, like a month and a half ago. And they were like, cut that out. Turns out I might have sensitive skin. Any number of things that you might find on your own. Woods, what if it turned out to be the new lotion she started a month and a half ago? You know, kind of the same amount of time? Turned out to be the culprit. Yeah, that happens all the time. I mean, there's colognes and there are facial lotions that I can't use. My face will break out. Yes to carrots is one. My wife gets it and I put it on and I wake up and it's like...

14:37I look like a 16-year-old boy. That's why I can't wear Amber Romance from Victoria's Secret anymore. That's why I don't wear Père Glasse from Victoria's Secret anymore. Because it really got you to break out so badly that you had to stop doing it. Since we were talking about colognes yesterday, do you remember when you'd get the gift pack for Christmas and you would have the Eternity bottle, then the... the shampoo and then the body soap and then I used everything and then the lotion would come and I would try the lotion immediately, like just red splotches all over. I was like, what the hell? I'd never use that stuff now. Well, the first thing that the doctor said to me, I forgot about this part. She comes and she sees like a few bumps in my legs and her first question was, have you been out of the country recently? And I was like, bed bugs. Bed bugs. It's got to be. I'm like, no. And she goes, okay, okay. I just want to rule everything out. She's going through the whole thing. Have you smoked crack? Yeah. Have you shot heroin or speedballs? She just wants to go through it. Speaking of, okay, well, somebody has a theory. M1 Ziggy from Lemon Grove. Hey, guys. Good morning. How are you guys doing? Good, man. Hello, B. My mom actually had this about a year ago, and it's from the shingles. She went two weeks, and she was just scratching.

16:00Oh, no. Oh, boy. What does shingles look like? I don't know, but here's the definition of shingles. It's an acute, painful inflammation of the nerve ganglia with a skin eruption. often forming a girdle around the middle of the body. It's caused by the same virus as chicken pox, and it's also called herpes zoster. L-O-B, you got herpes? For goodness sake, it's not in the middle of her body, it's in her hair, it's everywhere. Thank you for the call. That's what Garrett had. Oh yeah, and his shingles on the top of his head. But you could see that, you know? It was nasty, and it hurts. My girlfriend in college had it for like...

17:04a while, and it does not feel good. No. Keep an eye on that. He just freaked her out. Keep an eye on that. It's not that. It could be. I knew someone besides Garrett that had shingles three years ago. You know, or me, and they gave me a prescription. I'd fill it and use it. 100% LLB. You have to. No. Oh my God. It's not going to hurt you. I'm not going to put steroids on myself. They wouldn't give you something that would hurt you. Like I said, don't use it for more than 10 days because, you know, you might grow a goatee or something. Well, in that case, fill it and give it to me because I can't grow that part. The whooping cough thing here in San Diego County is really gone kind of crazy. It's blowing up the numbers. It has. Ten infants have passed away. It's crazy. Due to pertussis, which is whooping cough. And, you know, the sad thing about it is that it's a preventable disease. There's a vaccine for whooping cough to prevent those coming in contact with infants and thereby protect the infants. So, you know, I know some people are really anti-vaccines. But rather vaccinate your kid than have your kid dead would be, I would imagine, to put it kind of bluntly. But that's kind of the way it is. But, man, there have been so many cases. And 5,978 confirmed cases.

18:24Oh, wow. Ten kids have died. Died. Five in San Diego. Yep. Man. It's brutal, man. And then yesterday, I didn't know this, but yesterday apparently was something called the California Shakeout. Yeah, I'd never heard of it either, but it was 682,000 people in San Diego County alone registered to take part in this event, scheduled for 1021 a.m., which was yesterday, and it was a drill. It basically simulated a 7.8 earthquake along the San Andreas Fault. Basically what they call the big one out here, which I can't wait for. But yeah, it was a huge deal. 7.8 million people across California signed up to take part in this thing. Why didn't we hear about it? Anybody do it in here? You guys do it? You guys hear of it? Great work. Apparently, experts are saying it's not a question of if, but when. The big one. Experts.net. We're long overdue. Whatever. Seismetologist.com. Yeah. Big one. Great. Well, I mean, I guess. It's been a while. You know, the last big earthquake, I think, was Northridge. That was 93. I think 93. Before that, the big one was Loma Prieta. That was 89. Scares the crap out of me. Yeah. You know, man, it's something that...

19:44You lived with a ton of stuff in Texas. You guys had tornadoes out there. Yeah, hurricanes. Not in Dallas. Not in Dallas. But tornadoes, yeah. Yeah. But those don't scare me as bad as an earthquake. I mean, with a tornado, it's not going to crack off. You're not going to be floating in the ocean. You know what I mean? It may pick you up and sling you around a little bit. Pick you up and sling you around. We're not going to crack off and fall in the ocean. Are we not? I can't see too well. How do you know? It's a bit. It's a bit. It is a bit. I don't think you know. 5701949. Lauren is itching like crazy. Oh, my gosh. I have scratch marks on me. From itching so much? Yeah. They were like, there is some redness here. I'm like, oh, that's from me scratching. That's from my nails. I bet it's that lotion you're using. And maybe it is. It's supposed to be for sensitive skin. Yeah. Gold Bond? You're using Gold Bond? Gold Bond sensitive or something. I think it's for dudes. It's lotion. It's not powder. I went to REI yesterday. Why? Because I had to get a sleeping bag. Oh, yeah. You're going this weekend. To a retreat. You have to sleep in a sleeping bag for two nights? Yeah, which I don't understand. I don't understand why.

21:04the sleeping bag because it's cabins. You thought it was a cabin. No, it is. There's going to be bunks. Is that it? There's probably no heating. That's what I was wondering. Yeah, you're just going to sleep on a bunk. There'll be a mattress, but you'll have to sleep on your bag. Plus, you know how many people have come and gone on that mattress? Oh, great. LLB. Come on. I'm just saying. Really? I'm just saying that's why you want a sleeping bag. Trying to keep it clean here. Oh, I didn't mean that. I don't think she meant that. I meant like bed bugs and dandruff. Oh, good, good, good. Crabs, lice, herpes, bed bugs, gonorrhea, syphilis. Great, great, great, great. Have fun. Psoriasis. Psoriasis, just flaky dandruff. It's not contagious. Yeah, but it's disgusting. You're sleeping in some of these flakes. Have fun. I'm in a sleeping bag. Oh, yeah, I know. Where's your head going to be? Mikey Burrito. You know what it's called? What? Do you know what kind I got? Of course. I got something called the sleep pod. Of course. Is it rad? Of course it's rad. It's a pod. Initiating oxygen. You're going to be like a moth. Yeah. Closing pod doors. You won't touch any of the bed or anything, right? Uh-uh. Oh, you'll love it. Uh-uh. You'll sleep like a baby. Yeah, you will. I would not sleep a wink. You'll wake up. It would remind me of jail. Yeah. You'll wake up as a butterfly. You know, we joke around about him.

22:27But the guy that used to be on my show named Sean is a germaphobe. When he would go to hotels, he had like a body condom. It was. It was a body condom. And he would take it out. He came to our house and stayed with us. He vacuumed our drapes in the room. Vacuumed the drapes. A weirdo. He had a little kit. He'd bring a little kit. A little black kit. And he opened it up. and you can buy little bottles, empty bottles, that you can put liquid and fluid and stuff in. And before the stuff happened with the FAA, and they didn't let you carry more than three ounces, which he adjusted to, by the way, he had his own little bottles that would say glass cleaner, bleach, and he would have these things. And he would undo the thing. and he would take out a rag, and he would spray stuff down and clean it. Now, I didn't know this for a long time. He'd probably stayed with us four or five times before I found out about the kit. And then one time, I picked him up, because he lives in the Bay Area. He would fly in to do special stuff. One time, I picked him up, and he is a people pleaser. He's a people pleaser and very non-confrontational. Like me? Yes. And so...

23:52And so to avoid conflict, to not be confrontational, he just takes care of things. This was a case where he couldn't. He had to ask me to take him to Home Depot. And I'm thinking, I go, yeah, sure. And I'm thinking, I just picked him up from the airport. We're going back to my house. Home Depot. And we're talking, and we're in the middle of this really heavy conversation about stuff, and we're talking, and finally I go, what do you need there at Home Depot? And he goes, oh, I got to get something. I got to get just a showerhead. You're kidding. No, it's the one that's in there now. It's the one that's in there now. Because yours, the last time, was so nasty, he needed a new one. He wanted a new one, and he felt like the water pressure was not strong. And check this out. I go, why didn't you tell me about it before? And he goes, I used to just bring my own, but I forgot it. Oh, my God. He'd bring it out, switch it out, and then switch it back. Yes. And when we went to my house, he undid the showerhead, and you saw what looked like brand new plumber tape that he had put the last time he was there. How do you live like that? The guy cleaned. You lose your mind. No joke. I got to see.

25:22I need a cup. This is what he would do. I love this guy. He was so nutty, but you just love him. He'd come over, and he would do it without really acknowledging it too much. He'd come over, and he'd go into the cupboard, right? Yeah. He'd get a glass. Let's say it was a clear glass, right? And he'd be talking to you about something really serious. Let's say you were talking about Jake, or you were talking about stuff in the news. And he'd be like, yeah. And I was telling Dina. Dina's his wife. I was telling Dina. Staring. No way. And he's turning the glass. Turning it and staring at it. And he's looking at the glass. And he'd go, put it back. Grab another one. Dude, that's almost kind of borderline rude. Oh, no, no, no. Let me tell you. It's not? No, no, no. Let me tell you. Let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. He, she's itching. Now I'm itching. I know. Ella B is itching furiously. I'm sorry. They're crawling on me. I have a habit. I have a habit of working and being apparently attracted to people that are either OCD or something. Crazy. Crazy. Weird. But he, I mean, he's so lovable and he lets you know.

26:43This is kind of my thing, my bit. I guess if you didn't know him, you would think it was rude. If you didn't know him, you would think it was rude. Like if I brought some dude over your house that you didn't know and he gets in your pantry and he's like, who is this? No, no, no. You know that this is his thing. You know it's his bit. He can't. Rebecca would, and if she's listening right now, she'd call and tell you. She would three days before he arrived. she would start the process. But she was a basket case when he came. I bet she was a lunatic. She loves him like she loves you. And so for her, and she would tell you, she would say, it was a pleasure because he is fun to be around. But she would begin the process three days before he got there, and all this process was was just really deep cleansing. Really deep cleansing. And then she would put... note on the door that said, Sean's coming, don't go in. And I just didn't. I just didn't. Wow. If I took the garbage out, I would take it out through the back or through the side. Kind of like my mom when her mother-in-law used to visit my dad's mom was very meticulous. Yeah. And she would do the clean for a week thing. For sure. Ryan Adams. That's right. New York, New York. There's a little bit of a theme working today. Anything I can get.

28:10I'll take it. We got audio of Bill Belichick talking about the Chargers. And, you know, one has to wonder, is he, first of all, has he seen any Charger games this year? Because I can't tell if he's being serious or placating us, if he's watched any film. But we'll play you that audio in just a bit. We'll do a little Woods on Sports, and let's hear it from our live studio audience. It's a Mikey show with a live studio audience. Word of the day is deceitful, by the way. You're going to hear it sometime between now and 10 a.m. And when you do, caller number 9, 570-1949. We'll win. Pair of tickets to UFC 121 in Anaheim tomorrow. Now, I'm talking the actual event, not a pay-per-view. You get to go. So be listening. Sometime between now and 10 a.m.

29:29I will weave the word deceitful into a sentence, and you call when you hear it. Let's see. Okay, so 7 o'clock, we're going to be doing an email for you from this guy that he wants to know if he needs to get permission from this girl's dad in order to... He needs more than that. Yeah. In order to ask her out, because dad owns a restaurant he works at, and she works there too. Uh-oh. Tom Tom tunes coming up at 730 radio charades at nine. And in just a minute, we're going to have audio of Bill Belichick and don't know what the deal is with Bill Belichick. If he's messing around or if he's being for real, we'll hear it. Man, I was wrong about Woods is white pants. They are sharp. Yesterday I was. Saying, you know, easy Miami Vice, you going to a Julio Iglesias concert? I think you thought they were like material that was like, they looked like pants, like they were cuffed or heavy. I pictured them tighter. No, these are like loose. It's weird that you were just picturing him in these tight white pants. You know what they're like? They're not linen, because I hate linen because they get so wrinkly. These are like pajama pants. They've got the tie, and they're just so comfortable. Like the Karate Kid. Yeah, kind of.

30:52Those are great. Oh, holy mackerel. I'd snap kick you. Oh, jeez. You got them in Hawaii. No, I got them in... For Hawaii. Got them for Hawaii. Got them in Irving, Texas, which is a hotbed for white pants. And I got them in... I was kind of dating Jamie at the time, and she's like, really? White pants? Okay. And she actually went with me at lunch and helped me pick them out. And she's like, yeah, those are white. Okay, have fun with those in Hawaii. I think they look good. I like them, man. I like them. Nice and crisp. Yeah, glad you guys like them. I'm glad you think I can pull them off because they're my favorite bands. It is the fall, though, so not exactly appropriate. I said yesterday, don't give me the bit because it's the fall. I just wanted you guys to see them. Yeah. But now that I know I can wear them, next summer, forget it. Yeah. Daily. We had a day yesterday. Picked out a new couch. And it isn't a deal where you go in and you actually... Go, I want that one. And then you take it. It's a deal where for the same, you know, basically for the same price of a nice couch, they'll go, well, what do you need? So you go, well, I want it to look like that. I want it to be that style. Now, since the moment we got our old couch, I whined about it. I'm not going to fool you. My wife is incredible at designing.

32:21The inside of our house is beautiful. It's really, really beautiful. But she is a person that she likes the look, the way that it feels, that kind of deal. That doesn't matter. That's most women. Most women. She said yesterday. I would guess. She goes, if it's beautiful, I'll sit on an ice block. Yeah, for sure. She said that to the guy yesterday. That's how I grew up in the house with uncomfortable furniture. But it looked super nice. It looked really nice. No way. And so I said to her forever, you know, oh, babe, this couch. Now, the couch that we had had down in it. The guy says to me yesterday, he goes, you know, down is feathers. It's like bones. You sit on it after a while. And they break down and they turn into little hard, you know, that's why it's hard. And so I said, okay, well, what can we do? So he starts to, first of all. This couch that we're getting, when I sit on it, I'm going to look like Tom Hanks in Big. Lily Tomlin in the big rocking chair. Yes. So it's a regular size couch. It's a regular size couch. Right. Makes total sense. Regular size couch. Your little feet dangling over the edge real good. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, he says, well, let me show you the softest couch that we have. So I sit on this couch and I said, yeah, it's got to be about four times softer than that. You're kidding. Yeah. And he goes, huh. Okay.

33:51All right. He goes, well, what we'll do is we'll just double the size of the cushion. I said, okay. He says, now, how deep do you want the actual seat of this to be? And I said, I don't know. Show me the deepest one that you have. So I sat on this couch. 16 feet. I sat on this couch. I stood up. I took the back cushion off of it. sat on it again, and I said, yeah, if you can make the legs come out about three inches further than this, it'll be perfect. You want your legs to just be upright? Yeah. And so he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem. He goes, you know, if I extend it four more inches, it'll be a queen-size bed. And so that's, yeah, it's, now, at the end of the process, Rebecca was even stoked, which means it's going to be nice. That's great. You know, but it's finally going to be, A couch that I'll want to sit on. Color. The color is like a sagey green. Same color. No. It's that color. Lighter than that. Lighter than that. Lighter than the couch. What he was trying to get in the office. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Like a sagey green, which I had nothing to do with. Everything's changing. She's painting the walls. Like, who am I married to? She never wants color on the walls. Really? Walls are turning dark brown.

35:15The whole room, dark brown. It's going to look like a hunting lodge in there. Oh, dude. It's going to be great. That just made me so happy even thinking of that. Nice and warm and fuzzy for the winter. The fireplace. It'll be like a ski lodge. We'll drink some cider real good. Maybe some pumpkin lattes. Oh, that just made me so happy. There you go. Yeah, the whole thing is changing up. I can't wait to go to his house and sit on his couch and go, eh, it's not that great. Oh, Woods, don't you dare. 100%. I'll lay out and I'll go, I like your old one better. And he'll go. He will. He will. And you know what he's going to have to do now? He's going to have to do now, and he will do. He'll go. You know, I was saying that as a bit. Seriously, the old one was better. Yeah. I can get him. Because he'll have to convince me. I can get him so easy. He'll have to convince me. And then he'll be like, really, really, really? Is it really? Let's do some of this. That's fun. Let's get a little Woods on Sports going. Let's do it. Oh, you know what we have today, too? We have a brand new Urban Survivor coming up. Urban. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and what are they called? Clearview Eye Medical Laser Center. Yeah, I've only been doing that for about four months, but I'm on some cold medicine today as well, so leave me be. Well, so there's a new, it's kind of things are kind of shaking out in the baseball playoffs. The Phillies last night hung on, got a big win at San Francisco after dropping the first two there. So that series is three games.

36:49For the Giants. Yeah. Two games for Philly. Philly. And it's, you know, these guys are battling each other. Last night, Giants had a shot until this. Cut one. Worth flies one down the right field line into the corner. Ross looks up, and this ball's gone. A little breathing room for Philadelphia as Jason Worth goes deep into right. Yeah, that was thin. And it's 4-2 Philadelphia here in the ninth. That was top of the ninth. They're lucky. They are, man, because, you know, Roy Halladay didn't look like Roy Halladay. The Giants really bailed him out. Giants kind of lost that game rather than the Phillies winning it. I mean, they made some errors. They made some dumb mistakes. So the Giants are still in good shape. And then, of course, tonight is the big one for your boy. Yeah. I am so hyped for this game. What time does it start? I want it so bad. I will do anything to get it. Woods is a Yankee fan. What time does the game start? Game is 8 o'clock Eastern, so 5 o'clock here. I'm going to have to go home and sleep until it's time or I'll drive my wife crazy. Tonight is Phil Hughes, who got just hammered in his first start against the Rangers, against Colby Lewis, who pitched really well. So, you know, it's a weird position to be in to have to play a game just to get at Cliff Lee. You know, like to win a game just to get to Cliff Lee. So it's going to be a long road. That's the deal. If you win this game, they use up Cliff Lee.

38:13They can't use him in Game 1, right? He's pitching in Game 7. But yeah, yeah, yeah. They can't use him in Game 1, though, which is what they would want. But I don't care. I don't want them in Game 1. I don't care about Cliff Lee. I want the Yankees. The amount of crap that I've taken from my Ranger fan friends. Who, by the way, are coming out of the woodwork. Oh, there's people that have never watched a game that are like, Rangers, Rangers. I'm going to slit some throats. Yeah. I'm not kidding. I want it so bad. I was telling everybody last night how you have turned off the comments on your Facebook so people can't even comment to you. Yeah, you can't comment to me. Because it was making you crazy. I was losing my mind. These people that I know haven't watched a game in three years are like, yeah, man, we got you, dude. I'm like. And, see, I watch 150 games a year on my laptop. Like, I'm a true fan. You're screaming at me. I know I'm screaming at you because I get really worked up. But that game is tonight. Here's the starting pitcher for the Yankees. It's cut three, Phil Hughes. I think whoever makes the adjustments is going to come out on top. So, you know, I was just thrilled to have this opportunity again. You know, it wasn't guaranteed I would have another start in the series. And, you know, I'm just happy to be able to pitch tomorrow and, you know, turn in a better start than my last one. Yeah, please do, Phil.

39:21They're going to kill me. And then also Vincent Jackson is in the news. He will be reporting the San Diego Chargers next week to sign his contract tender. He'll have to sit the three-game team-imposed suspension. Oh, man. He'll be eligible to come back for the game at Indy on November 28th. Yeah, but will he? Yeah. Well, counting the six games he plays in the bye week, he'll earn $240,000 rather than the $3.2 million he would have made had he signed his tender. Wow. It's a smart business move, I think. Yeah, but at least by playing. He can be an unrestricted free agent. Exactly, which is what he wants. And then the Patriots will be coming to town this weekend. And I don't think Bill Belichick has really been watching much Charger film. Cut to. This is really a really good football team. Who is? The Chargers. The Chargers are? Yeah. He's talking about the Chargers. We're 2-4, right? Yes. We're 2-4. Huge wins out there at home with Jacksonville and Arizona. Two of the worst teams in the NFL. What kind of talent. what kind of football team they have. We have a lot of talent. Sure. We have a ton of talent. They don't win football games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a lot of talent. We don't link it together. We don't link it together, but we're talented. I know they've been in this position the last few years. Of course we have. Rub it in. Getting off to a little bit of a slow start. This is about where they hit stride. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's obviously very concerning. He knows his football, baby. He does know his football, and the Chargers have played well at home, so we'll see how this game goes, but it's, you know.

40:50It's the Patriots. Patriots are looking real strong. Yeah, they are. And handsome. And handsome. 5701949 is our number if you want to give us a call. They're saying that low-dose aspirin may cut your chances of colon cancer. So take low-dose aspirin, I guess. I don't like it because it has... You know what I always think of when I think of aspirin? When I was a kid, they didn't have... Or maybe they did, but if they did, my mom wasn't buying it. My mom used to take a wooden tortilla roller. Weird. And she would take aspirin and she would put them onto a tablespoon and she would crush the aspirin with the end of the tortilla roller, the wooden tortilla roller. And then she would put a little bit of water in it and then she would give it to me. Filthy. It's the filthiest thing, the most bitter, filthy, awful thing. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

41:46That I ever had to take. So gross. Yeah, it was buffering. Aspirin. Oh, man. But, yeah, they said if you take low-dose aspirin, you can reduce your risk of colon cancer by 24%. Also, taking aspirin is good for your heart, I believe. Your heart, yeah, for your circulation. It thins the blood. So maybe take one of those every day. About 75 milligrams. This is an interesting story. Apparently, the movie The Hobbit. Is that part of The Lord of the Rings? Of course. I have no idea. Really? Yeah. I like the rules. Just playing whatever. I just thought I'd start playing stuff. No, I was trying to give you the theme to it. No, that's not it either. I'll just give you anyone. Yeah, just play something. Here we go. Lord of the Rings. So the deal is that they were going to make this new movie, The Hobbit, and they were going to do it in New Zealand. They still might. Where they've always done these movies, and that's Peter Jackson's homeland. And they said if they take this thing away from New Zealand, they could lose $1.5 billion. Why? Because it's just as their economy could lose as much as $1.5 billion if they relocate. How much they spend on hotels or what? They pump so much into the economy when they're there. That's a lot of money. And, you know, people working. It creates jobs and all kinds of stuff. Permits. Permits. $1.5 billion? Yeah, absolutely. Well, where else would they film it?

43:15Akron, Ohio. What? No, come on. L-O-B? Oregon? San Diego, we need the money. That is true. Yeah, because San Diego looks just like New Zealand. Yeah, just do it on the beach. Do they say, they don't. They don't say where they might film it? No. As far as you know. There's parts of Oregon that look like Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Blah. Mel Gibson's cameo in the movie Hangover 2 has been canceled. This is a pretty interesting story. They were going to... They were going to put Mel in the second Hangover, which is going to take place in Thailand, which I can't wait to see. But he was going to be a tattoo artist. And Todd Phillips, who's the director, said, I thought Mel would have been great in the movie. I had full backing of the president, Jeff Robinoff, and his team. I did realize filmmaking is a collaborative effort, and I did not have the full support of my entire cast and crew. It's rumored that Zach Galifianakis was the one that was really upset about Mel Gibson being on that. Being on that show or being on that movie, yeah. Wow. Yep. What a trip. That is a trip, but they have cut it. He is not going to be there, and so sorry, Mel. Let's see. What about the secrets that pilots won't tell you? This will scare you. Anybody traveling today besides anybody traveling on a plane today? Well, I'm sure people in our audience are. Don't want to freak you out. What do you got? I'm going to freak you out. Let me find it. Everybody leave me alone.

44:43Maybe Sienna comes back. Yeah, maybe Sienna comes back to work. Two more days. Two more days, buddy. Basically, they're saying, hey, listen, most of the time we're flying, we're exhausted. We've been flying all day. We're punchy. We're tired. They're not focused. They're not sharp. They said a lot of times they're constantly under pressure to carry less fuel than they are comfortable with carrying. Oh, boy. Really? Yes. It skeeved me out. I read it this morning and I was like, oh boy. They can be on duty for 16 hours without a break. That's more than a truck driver. Those guys can pull into a rest stop. These guys can't pull into a rest stop and just chill for a while until they get back to speed. Well, when we would fly from Los Angeles to Maui, it was about a five and a half hour, six hour flight. I remember we were leaving Maui the last time. And I said to the... To the airline attendant, I said, so what's your day going to look like today? She goes, well, we're flying you guys back to San Diego, and then we're coming back here. Yeah. We're flying you back to Los Angeles, and then we're coming back. Just round and round they go, man. They said the accommodations sometimes are so terrible that they put them in. They get on an airplane at 7 a.m. When you get on an airplane at 7 a.m., you want your pilot ready, rested, ready to go. But they said,

46:04A lot of times they're tossing and turning all night. There's bedbugs. There's stabbings in the parking lot. I'm like, where are they putting these guys? Yeah. Yeah, the hotels are in bad neighborhoods. Because a lot of times by the airport, that's not the greatest place to stay. Yeah. You know? That's terrible. More than likely. Okay. Here's what we have for you. Yesterday, Brett Favre's wife went on Good Morning America, and she talked about the sexting controversy with Brett. We have audio of it. Word of the day is deceitful. When you hear me work that into a sentence, pair of tickets to UFC 121 in Anaheim for Caller 9. And we are also going to play M1 Copycat. So if you want to play M1 Copycat, call us at 570-1949. All you have to do for M1 Copycat is tell me who's the voice that me, L.O.B., and Woods are doing. It's real easy. We'll be back.

47:41Got to do this email for you in just a second. New Kings. Yes, sir. Song's called Beachside. Word of the day is deceitful. When you hear me use that between now and ten, caller nine is going to get a pair of tickets to go to UFC 121 at Anaheim tomorrow. Huge prize. It's a very huge prize, so be listening for it. Can't tell you how many people have reached out to me. Hey, man, can I get some UFC tickets? I bet. I bet. Okay, so Brett Favre, right? His wife, beautiful lady. In fact, they were talking yesterday about how the woman that he allegedly cheated with, or at least tried to cheat with, looks so much like his wife years ago. It doesn't help his case. No, it doesn't. But anyway, she was on Good Morning America yesterday, and she was talking about the controversy.

48:42these current allegations against your husband, Brett. He just met with NFL officials this week. He will only say that as a league matter, he will not deny the allegations of inappropriate behavior with the female employees when he was with the Jets. Deanna, what can you share with us this morning about that? I can tell you that faith, obviously I'm a woman of faith, and faith has gotten me through many difficult struggles that will get me through this one. That's the reason Shane and I wrote the book, The Cure for the Chronic Life. And, you know, there's just so many people who care about you, who know you, who just want the best for you and just want to know how, you know, I know your faith is very important, but how you're handling this and how you and Brett together are handling this. I'm handling this through faith, Robin. We were talking earlier about a verse that I have on my fridge, Isaiah 41, 9 through 13, actually, is on my fridge right now. Don't be afraid. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand, and that's what I'm leaning on. Hey, listen, the deal is that that's what she needs. You know, that's what's holding her up. Not the answer that people wanted to hear. Well, and that's the deal. I mean, honestly, the answer is not, oh, well, what's getting me through this right now is heroin, cocaine. That's not what I mean either. You know what I mean? What they want to know and what I want to know is,

50:08What do you think? How do you feel? Do you believe it? Right. Now, those are different questions. Right. Those are different questions. Are you buying this? And that's fair. What has he said to you? Yeah. And that's fair. What did you say to him? All of those are fair questions. But the question that she asked her was, how are you dealing with this? Absolutely. How are you getting through this? Right. Not alcohol and pills. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not getting through it with alcohol and pills. And I'm not doing, you know, that's how I'm not getting through it. So it's tough. What really stinks about it to me is that what he did, if he did it, what he did, the effect that it has on her. Yeah, man. That's the thing that's so gnarly about it. We are going to be playing M1 Copycat in just a minute. The way that M1 Copycat works is, and what do we have for a prize, Jay? We have UFC 121 on pay-per-view on Cox's Advance TV. Sweet. There you go. So we'll be playing M1 Copycat for that in just a minute. Hang on for it. Okay, so first this email, and then we'll get to some M1 Copycat.

51:21Mikey, I have a situation with a girl named, and it's in quotations, Heather, at work. We are both servers at her dad's restaurant. I want to ask her out because she's into me and I like her, but I'm afraid of what her dad will say. I don't know if I need to ask his permission first. Also, I'm 29 and this girl is 18. M1 Wyatt. Which, if he put Heather in quotations, I wonder if his name is really Wyatt. If he lived in 1864, I wouldn't have any problem believing that his name was Wyatt. We work at the same saloon. Yes, you work at the same saloon. Her father deals Pharaoh there. Yes, absolutely. He deals in Pharaoh. He's got a musket wound on his neck. I have a Facebook friend named Wyatt. You do? You do?

52:19Maybe it's him. Maybe it's him. Could be. No, I think he's younger. Well, here's the thing. Weird. If he's 29 and she's 18. Immediately. Immediately. The first thing that comes into my mind is, oh, you're a kinky pervert. Yeah, you're a disgusting pervert. Well, not necessarily. How many years apart are Sienna and her husband? Sienna's also 25 years old. She was 20 when she met Todd. I would have probably said, hey, Todd, you kinky pervert. 20, for some reason, 20 is different in 18. You know why? Why? Because 18 has the word teen in it. That's true. Wow. That's a really good point. She's a teenager. She's a teenager. You're 29 and you're dating or wanting to date and let's call a spade a spade, wanting to sleep with a teenager. That's... What came to my mind is that he's a 29-year-old guy that's looking to hook up with his AT. Now, does that mean that he isn't attracted to her and doesn't like her personality and all that stuff? No. I mean, listen, I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just inferring from the email. That's all. So should you ask her dad's permission? In this particular case, yeah. But what do you think he's going to think?

53:35And what are you going to say if her dad goes, no? No, absolutely not. Then you can't date her. I think whatever age he was, if that's his boss, he has to. He has to ask if it's okay. Because he's a boss? Because of the situation, yeah. What do you think, Woods? I do think that he is a creepy pervert. Well, I mean, she's 18 years old. Well, when I was 19... I dated a 27-year-old. Is that creepy? Yes. We worked together at a pizza place, as a matter of fact. It was a creep. How did that work out? I broke his heart. You broke his heart. Oh, you broke his heart. Yeah. I broke his heart, and he was one of the line cooks, and I was the server. So he'd be like, your order's up. Get your food, O'Brien. It's ready. It was only a summer job. And then the next summer, I came back from college. And here's your toothbrush. I brought my current boyfriend to work at the restaurant. Oh, my God. What a cruel. Your order's up, idiot.

54:46So funny. Oh my gosh, L.O.B. That is brilliant, L.O.B. No, I think... But I didn't think he was a creep. I think, you know, I think that... Of course Jay doesn't, by the way. Yeah, Jay's all the way. It's none of the dad's business. Is it not? She's 18. She's an adult. It's actually at his business. But you don't date at the business. You wait till afterwards and then you go out. You ever heard of Don't Dip Your Pen in the Company, Inc.? But, you know, have you? Everyone at restaurants especially dates each other. It's none of the dad's business. I mean, if it blows up in your face, no. It's his business. Nobody's going to call me up and go, Mr. Isbell, I want to date your daughter. That's my daughter. That's my business. It's my daughter, and I'm never going to be happy. What if Maddie worked at the station? Maddie is dating somebody that used to work for me. But she didn't work there also. It wouldn't have mattered. It's her. The heart wants what the heart wants. So does the peace. The peace wants what the peace wants. Hey, you know what? It is by definition his business. It's literally his business. It's literally his business. But they're not dating at work. They're not going, hey, you want a date on our 15-minute break? You want to have a date real quick? What do I mean by a date?

55:54Let's do a little M1 copycat. If you want to call in about this, you can, 570-1949, or you can text in about it, 949mikey at gmail.com. But first we'll do a little M1 copycat. On the line is M1 Arturo from the South Bay. You there? Yeah. All right, Arturo. I'm going to start us off, and I'm going to reach into a little basket. I'm going to pull out a name. Whatever name I pull out, I must. Do the imitation of said name. My heart's racing? Yeah. You will have 30 seconds to try to figure out. Actually, you'll have 20 seconds. Sorry. You'll have 20 seconds to try to figure out who it is that I'm imitating. Are you ready? No catchphrases. Yeah, that's the only rule. The only rule is that when we imitate these celebrities, we cannot use their famous lines. Which is difficult to do. It is difficult to do. All right, I'm looking at the name. Oh, wow. I'm looking at the name. And here we go. Hello. I am talking to you right now in this way. And I am hoping that you will get who I'm trying to be by the way that I am talking. Because I can't use any particular... Do you have any guesses who that was?

57:25from The View or something. I need a name? Woods, is that good enough? Yeah, absolutely. It's Barbara Walters. Good job. Good job. You got it. Hang on the line, please. Woods? Woods is reaching into the basket. And M1 Terra from Marietta, are you there? Hey. How are you? Good morning. I'm fine. Okay, so here's how it works. 20 seconds Woods will have. He has to imitate this person. He cannot use any of their famous catchphrases. And you will have 20 seconds to guess. And you can yell it out any time if you know who it is. But you have 20 seconds beginning now. Thanks for coming, everybody. I'm a big creep. I'm a little baby. I got nothing.

58:30I got nothing. You can't do anything. That's not my only thing. You know who it is. Who was it, Woods? Did she know? Who was it? Did you have a guess? One of the guys from Jersey Shore? No. Who was it, Woods? You know who it is? I don't know. You don't know who that is? No. You don't know either, Mike. I don't know. No, who are you doing? Jay Leno? Yes. Dead on, Jay Leno. Jay Leno. Identical. Funny. Wow. That was identical. Wow. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tara. Okay. M1. Kimberly from San Diego. Hi. How are you? I'm good. L.O.B. is going to be playing for you. L.O.B. is going to be playing for you. She doesn't want. I know. Should I pick another one? No. No. L.O.B. will have 20 seconds. She can't use any catchphrases. And here we go. I'm so annoying. Oh, my gosh. Well done. Weird. I'm the only one that they couldn't get. That was great, LLB. That was great. Hang on the line. Hang on the line, please, Kimberly. Finally, M1, what's your name? Is this Miel? Miel from Pacific Beach. M1 Miel from Pacific Beach.

59:57All right, dude, you ready? He's competing for body expo tickets. Okay, cool. Oh, that's a good expo. It is. And now it is. I've been there. It's my favorite expo. It is. They open up the bodies. Like my men. They open up the bodies? Cadavers. No, I think this is a tattoo. You're thinking of the wrong. You're thinking of the wrong person. Never mind. I'm sure whatever you guys. This is fun. The Body Expo. Yeah, it's tattoos and piercings, right? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking my senior year once I went to the morgue. I was thinking of the Body Worlds. Got it. You will have 20 seconds to try to guess this M1 meal. Beginning now. Oh, yeah. I'm talking right now. You should be able to figure out this voice when I'm talking right now. Because I'm saying some stuff while I'm talking, and I want you... That was Sylvester Stallone. Yeah, it was Sylvester Stallone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh, give him a break.

1:01:21There was one more in here, and guess what the other one was? What? Arnold Schwarzenegger was the last one that was in there. It makes me sick to my stomach. 570-1949 is the number if you want to give us a call. Don't forget, TomTomTunes coming up at 7.30. We got radio charades at 9, and the word of the day is deceitful, which is worth. a UFC 121, a pair of tickets to UFC 121 up in Anaheim tomorrow. It's going to be really cool. Let's see. You could still call in, by the way, about the dude, the 29-year-old, that is dating the girl, that wants to date the girl that's 18. Should he ask her dad for permission? He works at the restaurant that her dad owns, and so does she. If I were a dad, And a 29-year-old guy that worked at my restaurant said, hey, I'd like to ask permission to date your 18-year-old daughter. I would say, yeah. Yeah, absolutely not. Because she's 18? Yeah. So what if he was 20? Would he still have to ask for your permission? No. Really? Oh, so it's the age thing. Yep. See, there's no way. You can't do that. Mikey. Yeah, it's 100% the age thing. Jay, what if he was 40? Is that all right? It's not up to me.

1:02:42It's out of my hands. I cannot like it, but it's not up to me for the guy to come to me and ask me, because if I say no and my daughter finds out, you know what she's going to do? She's going to not only slit my throat, but she's going to go after this guy with a vengeance. Like, oh, my dad said me no? Oh, I'm all in. You can't be that guy. He's a 40-year-old, because in your house, when you're 18, you make your own decisions, right? Yes. So the 40-year-old man wants to date Matty. Yep. It's up to her. It is. You don't even throw in any input. Oh, I will tell her. Oh, you will? I will tell her, but the guy didn't have to come to me and ask. You cannot date my daughter. I don't need the permission bit either, but I'd be like, yeah, you're never leaving the house again. Trust me, she'll leave the house. The 40-year-old probably has a house, has a car, probably has a family. Well, that's the deal. Yeah, he's got a 19-year-old. That 19-year-old kid. Well, the thing is, is that if he's asking, he's asking. If he doesn't ask, okay, I could see where Jay would be like, you know, it's none of my business. I'm going to stay out. But if the guy's asking. I would say no. You're 40. What do you want with my little girl? Yeah. And he goes after it anyway. You're like, hey. Why would he bother asking? Five years ago, she was on a big wheel. What's your problem? Then maybe he winds up in a dumpster. Oh, boy. Woods. Let's see. I hope I don't have girls. You will. I really hope I don't have girls. You, of all people, will have triplets.

1:04:06Three girls. Woods says that he sat on the couch yesterday for seven hours. I did. Straight. It was better. You have bed sores? Almost. But then you know what's funny? You would think I couldn't, when I went upstairs to go to sleep, I couldn't sleep. Fell right asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Tried to watch that movie Old Dogs. Was it any good? What did I say? Trying to set you up for it. You can read it. So they should have called it old crap. It was terrible. I looked at the cast and I'm like, Kelly Preston all the way in, John Travolta, Robin Williams, we'll check it out. 15 minutes. Oh, man. You watch a movie with Robin Williams and John Travolta together? Travolta's terrible. He's terrible. You think so? Oh, he's terrible. What has he done besides Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction? Nothing. He's terrible. Grease. Grease, kid. Come on. It's a musical. Welcome back, Carter. 40 years ago. I'm talking about movies. Face off. Face off. Terrible. Don't touch my hair. My hair. Yeah, don't touch my hair. You didn't like Saturday Night Fever? No. How did somebody not like Saturday Night Fever? I thought everyone universally loved Saturday Night Fever. You haven't? I know the thing. He wears a white bell-bottom suit. I like the music. Yeah, I like mine. I like the music. I don't like the movie. Oh, man. Terrible.

1:05:27Chick, chubby, whatever. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. That was the best you can do for that role? I don't know who you're talking about. Hey, Jay messed his back up some more because he was out running around with his kid playing soccer. Took the soccer kids on a, they call it a Hash House Harrier run. You know, where you mark the... Send rabbits out and you mark X's where they're not supposed to go and do arrows where they're supposed to go. Mark? What? Send rabbits out? What? Yeah. Like three people are rabbits. Like three people, three runners, three people on a team go out in front. Not real rabbits. That's what I thought you meant. You get shotguns with the kids. They're seven, but they can shoot guns. Yeah. And then you go out and you put X's on the ways, you know, the ways they're not supposed to run, like, you know, other roads. Yeah. So they're searching to find you. So, of course, dummy. I'm not supposed to be running. No. And you messed your back up. Always. Have you listened to the doctor? You're getting a little old, pal. Why were you playing the game? Because I was one of the rabbits with him, trying to show him where to go. I mean, there's seven. Hey, here's some chalk. Good luck to you guys. You know that thing, Farmville, that it's a professional annoyance on Facebook. Yes. It's the thing that you get on Facebook that says, hey, will you help me?

1:06:38Buy some cabbage. Harvest my corn. Harvest my corn on Facebook. And, you know, it's very popular. But the guy that created it is facing a class action lawsuit right now. Yeah, because they've been illegally sharing the Facebook user data of its customers with advertisers and data brokers. That is so not good. And it's actually the company, Zynga, that is going to be sued because of sharing user data. Man, you can't do that stuff. And they'll probably lose. Yeah. I'm going to Haiti, and I'm just in time for a cholera outbreak. Apparently, a cholera outbreak has happened, and we actually have Outside the Bowl here. That's the organization I'm going to be going with. I'm getting my vaccinations on Monday. I got to get typhoid. I got to get malaria. And one of the girls that's here today, she's been living there. She's from here. Been living there. Have you heard about the cholera thing? Yeah, it's a big deal. Anyway, what's the deal, Woods? 138 deaths confirmed. I think there may be even more since 150 now. Yeah, it's a severe outbreak. What is cholera? Oh, here we go. All cases are related to severe diarrhea and vomiting. I wonder if you can. Can you vaccinate against that cholera? I don't know.

1:08:00Missed that. Sounds bacterial. All I know is that I'm going to be having a lot of antibacterial with me when I go. Yeah, dude. You need to take a mask or something. Really? Yes. Is it that? It's not going to hurt. No. She says no. I don't need a mask. It's Mikey. I don't need a mask. He gets skeeved out going to the movies. You should wear a wrestling mask. Yeah, a wrestling mask. Nacho Libre. You're going to be running around. You get skeeved out in the movies. You're going to be running around Haiti. Yeah. You'll adapt. Don't fool yourself. He's not running anywhere. Yeah, you'll be fine. I'm sure you won't come back complaining about anything. You know, Woods, so this is interesting. Mel Gibson's ex, Oksana Gregorieva, she now has a new issue. So she had a bodyguard that is telling the world that they were in a relationship. So her attorney is having to respond to it. And since we have Oksana... right here in Studio M at all times. We'll just ask her about it ourselves when we get back. Let's hear it from our live studio audience in here this morning. We got a lot of people in here today and it's awesome. Let me tell you.

1:09:47We have the most delicious burger. Smash Burger came in today, and it is so good, man. I just smashed mine. Yeah? Done. Let me tell you. I've never tried it before. Me neither. It's real good. I'll be there again. The Black Burger or Black Bean Burger? Is that what you had? Oh, San Diego style? Get out, man. Mission Valley, La Jolla, Del Mar, 100% fresh, not frozen, certified Angus beef, real good. They also do sandwiches. Smash Dogs, Smash Salads, and it's really delicious. They've got a website, smashburger.com, and really delicious, delicious burgers. Thank you, Smashburger, for making that right for us. Okay, I've got to play you this audio. This is Oksana Gregorieva's attorney, Daniel Horowitz. Oksana Gregorieva, Mel Gibson's ex. That, you know, she accused him of screaming at her and, you know, she had all those tapes of him. Hitting her. Yeah. This is her attorney talking about the latest thing. Now, in case you don't know, the latest thing is that her bodyguard, big dude, the photograph that they show of him, he's got on shades, bald head. He's a big dude. Christian Herzog. Christian Herzog is his name. Goatee.

1:11:12And the deal with him is that he told her that he had done security for other people, right? Yeah. Said he'd done security for Jack Nicholson. But in reality, don't know that he actually has. No, and he is telling people, listen, this was my girlfriend. We were together. And I've got a thousand text messages to prove it. And we're still in contact. And, you know, I protected her. And this is my old lady. We have been intimate. This is the response from the Gregorieva camp. He's a complete liar. He's always been a fellow who just makes things up. He lied to Oksana. He said he was a real bodyguard, paid by a famous person to protect her. Turns out the guy is a felon who spent three quarters of a year in prison or in jail. and then came out on parole, lied to her. He's lying about this. Now, I don't know. I mean, you've got to make up for your own mind whether or not you think that's true. Supposed to have Oksana Gregorieva in the studio. You know, we always have her in here, but for whatever reason, she's on the phone. Why are you on the phone, Oksana? This is Mikey. This is Mikey, yes. Yes, Mikey. I can't find studio. I'm in Lobby of Rock.

1:12:33You're in the lobby of Rock 105? Yes, and they say, oh, I don't know. Where is Mikey? There is something else there, but not you. Yes, I don't work there anymore. I haven't worked there since December, Oksana. Why everyone not know this? I don't know. Yeah, everybody should know it by now. You know, in fact, I wish everyone did. You can tell people to please that I'm at FM 94.9. She's asked you if you tweeted this. Did I tweet it? You tweet this? No, I did not tweet this. I did not tweet it. Well, I've tried. I mean, I kind of have tried. You should general public that you are not on Rock 105. You are on FM 94.9. That's right. Yes. Well, we have told people, you know, we had a billboard campaign. I don't see no campaign. No, you don't see campaign. I live in Los Angeles.

1:13:33Yes, you do. So maybe that's why you haven't seen the campaign. The campaign's been here in San Diego. Yes, this is a funny show. What do you have? Yeah, it is. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, can I ask you about the dude, the guy that's saying that you guys dated? He was your bodyguard? Yes, and it's just, it's really ridiculous because, of course, I never sleep with this kind of man. You have seen him? I have seen him, yes, I have. He has a bald head. And how you say, goatee? Oh, hideous. Goatee? No, it's a goatee, and he's got a bald head. Bald head. Yes. This is very strange for me to look at. Attractive. Man, how'd you do it? You haven't actually met Mikey yet, have you? I don't know this Mikey. I like his show. I have a bald head in it. And a goatee. Goatee. I have a goatee. You have a wife? I have a wife, yes. You have a wife? I do have a wife. She has her sight? Yes, she has her sight, yes. Full range of sight, 2020. Maybe this American tradition. I don't like this look. The look of the bald head and the goatee? Yes, in my country we call something like a detergent, like Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean?

1:14:59You're killing Mr. Clean. Professional wrestler. So the only people, Oksana, where you're from that would have a bald head and a goatee are professional wrestlers or Mr. Clean. Yes. And bodyguards. And bodyguards. And bodyguards. And I would never sleep with such a man. Yeah, yeah. Your wife is a very patient and brave woman. Brave woman. A lot of courage. Patient. She's very patient. Well, Oksana, well, first of all, sorry about you being at the lobby of Rock 105. I don't work there anymore. I'm here. But you can come down here to FM 94.9. Everyone has very nice things to say about you here. Oh, yes, I'm sure that they do. I'm sure that they do. I'm sure they're all saying that they miss me. They said we still have banner up. We put it on dartboard. Yes, yes. We have a banner of Mikey. We used it to throw darts at. That's great. So basically nothing's changed. Yeah, nothing's changed really. So your picture is up. Yeah, they still have it. There's some words that are written that I don't quite understand in my country. Your country probably doesn't use words like that. Or they do, but they translate differently. Yes. They speak very favorably about...

1:16:14This Mikey. Yes. Yes, I'm sure that they do. Well, Oksana, thank you so much for your time. I will listen to station KBZT. Yes, KBZT. That's right. It's about the music. That's right. It is about the Mikey. That's right. Thank you very much, Oksana. Bye. We love you. There she is. That's Oksana Gregorieva. She's really wonderful. She's really wonderful. I don't know if you know it, but we do a continuing series here on The Mikey Show called Urban Survivor, and it's Mikey Grylls. I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED, and I've got no experience except for telling jokes on the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations using nothing but the company's credit card, a car. A nice one at that, my wallet, and whatever things I can find on the internet. You're listening to Urban Survival. Part of my job as the urban survivor is traveling. It's probably the most challenging part of what I do. One time I took a flight to Las Vegas that took one hour. I think the captain is saying something. I wish he was louder. I was locked in a cylindrical tube.

1:17:39For the entire time I flew. The smells, the sounds, they're enough to make a grown man lose his mind. So here I sit on a plane made by a company called Delta. There's a waitress walking by. Hello, miss. Hello. What can I do for you, sir? I would like to make an order, please. I'm ready. An order? Yes, I would like the... I haven't looked at the menu, but I'd like... There's not a menu. I don't need one. I'll just go by rote memory. I'll take mutton. A what memory? Rote memory. We don't have mutton on the plane. All right, then just lamb. Your choice is you can get a ham sandwich, you can get a turkey sandwich, you can have some chips, peanuts. I'll take the lamb sandwich. I don't have lamb sandwich. You said the lamb sandwich. It's not. You're fighting with me. This is the kind of thing that you may deal with while flying on an airline. If this ever happens to you...

1:18:39Try calming her like this. What's your freaking problem? Sir, do I need to get... What? Do you need to get Randy? Is that it? Would you like me to get the head flight attendant? Yes, I'd like you to get the head flight attendant. Air Marshal 32. Oh, dear. The Air Marshal has been called. Quickly, I've got to find something to eat. She's not going to be able to get me my mutton or my lamb sandwich. What is this? I'm rummaging through some young... Twelve-year-old's bag. Just a lever, a comb, a pint of old harper. What's this? It's a green box, and it says Irish Spring. It seems to be some sort of Irish food. By the name, I assume that it's both food and water. Oh, no. This is what you're not supposed to do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1:19:49I need to run to the tiny laboratory. Oh, poops. My tip of the day, if you need to go to the bathroom, it's best to discern if it will be a number one or two before you enter the laboratory. Until next time, I'm the Urban Survivor. Wonderful. Oh, my gosh. I love the Urban Survivor. I do so much. I can't figure out if I have more fun listening to the finished product or actually doing the Urban Survivor. I think listening. When I hear the finished product with all the sound effects and stuff, it kills me. With the intro, I love it. Well, me, L-O-B, we'll come up with the idea of it, and it's just the idea. Then we just screw around. So just take a recorder and we just start screwing around. Yeah, it's so fun. This is pretty good. Tough gig. Yeah, it is. Go home to your wife. You're like, hey, listen, I've worked all day long. I've been busting my hump all day to bring home the money that everybody's so concerned about. I had to bite a bar of soap. Right. Your wife's like, really? This is work? Yeah. This is what you call work? Got it. 570-1949. You want to play TomTom tunes? Give us a call right now if you want to play TomTom tunes. The way that you play is we have a TomTom girl here.

1:21:16Tom Tom Girl is an actual Tom Tom device. Device, Mikey. Yes, a device. Navigation device. That's correct, Mikey. GPS located. Yes, GPS located. Is that what you said? GPS navigated. Right. Driven. Who's the most famous Yankee ever, Tom Tom Girl? Joe Damasco. That's right. Yankees are on TV tonight. You better watch out for the kid. Yes, the kid is going to be very... Very tense tonight as the Yankees play. Hype. 570-1949. So here's the way that it works. Tom Tom Girl is going to read lyrics of a song to you. And you only get 30 seconds to try to figure it out. If you can figure it out, you win. What do you get today, Jay? You get Body Art Expo. There you go. Tattoo and piercing show. Cool.

1:22:11Is that where they open up the bodies and look at it? Yeah, just open them up, look at it. Look at their tattoos on the inside. Tattoos and piercings. So if you like that, you get a lot of cool stuff there. M1 Steve from El Cajon, are you there? Yes, I am. Okay, Steve, are you ready? Okay, TomTom Girl is going to read this to you. She's going to read you the lyrics, and you will have approximately 30 seconds. All I need is title or artist for you to win. Here we go. Early in the morning, rising to the street, light me up that cigarette and I will strap shoes on my feet. Got to find a reason, reason things went wrong. Got to find a reason why my money is all gone. I got a Dalmatian. I can still get high. I can play the guitar. Can you give me title or artist there, M1 Steve, in order to... That is sublime. That is correct. That is 100% correct. That's the edited version, Mikey. Yes, it is. I'm glad you didn't say those words. I'm telling you, man. That new lead singer for Sublime. He sounds just like Bradley. What kind of dog was that again? Dalmatian. M1 Rubix from Chula Vista. Are you there? All right, Rubix. You got about...

1:23:43You've got about 30 seconds to try to figure this out. Title or artist wins for you. Go ahead, TomTom Girl. It has been seven hours and 15 days since you took your love away. I go out every night and sleep all day. Since you took your love away, since you've been gone, I can do whatever I want. I can see whomever I choose. I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant. But nothing I said nothing can take away these blues. All right, M1 Rubik's. I need title or artist for you to win. I have no idea. That was Sinead O'Connor. I love this song. Sounds different than Tom Tom Girl. A little bit. Just a slight difference, Mikey. In the inflection. Does song ever rip your heart out? Steadily. So great. Rip your heart out, chew it out, throw it on the ground. Prettiest bald girl on the planet. 100%. True. I was going to play the whole song. But I didn't want to cry. Yeah, I didn't want to cry. I noticed you and Woods make a lot of eye contact there. That's right. Your allergies are starting to act up. Yeah, they are. Time to move on. M1 Devin from Oceanside, how are you? I'm great. All right, you ready to do this? All right. Let's see if you can tell us in 30 seconds or less what Tom Tom Girl is reading the lyrics to. Anytime, Tom Tom Girl.

1:25:17As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life and realize there is not much left because I have been blasting and laughing so long that even my mama thinks that my mind is gone. But I ain't never crossed a man that did not deserve it. Me be treated like a punk, you know, that is unheard of. You better watch how you talking and where you walking. Can you give me title or artist there? M1 Devin. That was a tough one. It is. That was Coolio, Gangstas Paradise. One of my favorite jams with my homies. Yeah, I bet it is, Tom Tom Girl. Very good job, Tom Tom Girl. Thank you, Mikey. Killed it. Very good job. Yesterday, Lisa Marie Presley was on TV and she was talking about her time that she spent married to Michael Jackson and actually gave a lot of information out. One of the things that she talked about was that in a very famous interview that he did, she says he was completely high.

1:27:20And it's probably not the interview that you think it was. We'll play you audio from that interview with Lisa Marie yesterday. We'll also play you that interview she's talking about and see if you think so. We'll do that next. Word of the day is deceitful. Now, I'm going to use that word sometime between now and 10. When I do, you need to be caller number 9 at 570-1949. And if you are caller number 9. You'll get a pair of tickets to UFC 121 tomorrow in Anaheim. Be really awesome. So get ready. We'll be doing that coming up. So yesterday, Lisa Marie goes on the Okra show and is talking about various things. One of the things she talked about, did you guys know how Elvis died? Yes. Toilet, right? He did die. Did he? Or is that urban legend?

1:29:04Urban legend. I believe it's urban legend. He was on the toilet. That's the real deal. Did his heart basically explode? Yeah, well, when you ingest cocaine and morphine for 15 years, that's going to happen together. Well, here she is talking about how they basically died the same way. I'm struck between the parallel in your father's life and Michael Jackson's life. Your father and your former husband. Yes, it really blows. Is that somber, Oprah? It's somber voice. It's somber. Somber Oprah. And you get a car. And you get a car. And you get a car. And you get to overdose. And you... To be honest with you, I still try to figure out why, what is it that I had to go through it twice where these two incredible people, and I speak, you know, with the utmost respect and love because I had that for both. Your father and Michael. Yes, who had the same fate. What is it about me? Why did I have to just... I went through it once. That was painful. And I went through it again. And I don't quite understand it. Can you imagine what it would be like to have Elvis Presley as your dad? And Michael Jackson as your husband. Yeah. I think it's a little selfish to make it about, why me? Yeah. Well, she's, I mean... Okra's making it about her. She wants to talk about Michael. I mean, listen. Every clip that I have is all about Michael Jackson.

1:30:29Yeah, I woke up from my nap yesterday to my wife watching the Okra show. And I rolled up and I looked and I go, who's that? She goes, Lisa Marie. I go, all right, back to bed, back to bed I go. When is Oprah going off the air? Yeah, not soon enough, I don't think. Here she is talking about a very famous interview that Michael gave where she says he was high as a kite. You know, there was a few-year period there where random things were coming out, whether it was a Martin Bashir interview or various interviews. And in those interviews, I saw him. Intoxicated. I didn't see Michael that I knew in that Martin Bashir interview. He was high as a kite. Do you guys remember the Martin Bashir interview? Those were riveting. And from what I knew, he was either too speedy or he was sedated. It wasn't the Michael that I knew. The shocking things, he said some pretty shocking things in that Martin Bashir interview, particularly about how he felt it was okay to sleep with young children.

1:31:27I think he said that stuff sometimes to be defiant because he got so angry at having been accused. I think that sometimes he was such a little stubborn rebel sometimes and he was like a child and he would just say what he felt everyone didn't want him to say. I don't feel like he had a straight head. So here's an example of something from the Martin Bashir interview. Did you have many girlfriends through your adolescence? Define girlfriend. By girlfriend, do you mean boyfriend? Not a lot. I did my first girlfriend. 455 girlfriends. Who I really loved a lot was Tatum O'Neal. Did you guys know that he dated Tatum O'Neal? Yeah. His first girlfriend. And was it a typically romantic adolescent lover? Oh, sure. Yeah, of course it was. Typical. Yeah, typical. Drive-in movies. Yeah. Soda shop. Yeah. Lunch on Mars. Lunch on Mars. You know. Monkeys. We played a lot with monkeys a lot. Played at the zoo that I owned. Yes, yes. Went to the Oscars. Things like that. Yeah. So totally like your girlfriends. Snorted cocaine off of giant baby grand pianos and things. I mean, if that's normal to you, then yes, it was extremely normal.

1:32:44Yeah, it was, but I don't think I was ready for some of the things he was talking about. I was pretty naive. I'm not joking. I hope she forgives me for telling this story. Okay, Tato, please forgive me. But remember that time you killed the gypsy? I remember her telling me to come over to the house, to her house. They have a Beverly Hills house, too. And what she's going to do to me when I come. Oh, boy. You know, all the... Well, what did she say? Stuff about giggly jiggly. The hibbity-dibbity. The hibbity-dobbity. I don't want to say it. I can't say it. I can't say it. Her mama might be listening. Please. All the sexual stuff. So I'm scared to death. So she rings you and says, Michael, come to my house. No, she called me. She didn't ring me. We're not in London. Yeah, what do you mean she ring me? What does that mean? She called me on the telephone, weirdo. She ringed me. I'm going to make love to you. Oh, boy. Yeah, she called me on my mobile and said, I want to make love to you. I want to make love. And you're really scared? I'm scared. Scared because I've never done anything like that. Scareder than I am talking to an Englishman, talking about mobiles and ringing me. I came over there trying to be Mr. Big Shot and brave. I remember she cut off all the lights in her bedroom.

1:34:15Open the curtains. You can see the whole skyline of the city over the cliff. It was beautiful. Get some, dude. Excuse me, Michael. Did you just say cliff? I did. I pronounced it cliff. Why didn't you just do the two Fs like we all do? Because you're from England. I do it how I do it. If you want to say cliff, you can. But in my country, that's the name of a person. Would you agree that... It's spelled C-L-I-F-F. I agree to it. I just don't adhere to it. You don't want to submit to it, is that? I won't submit. I'm rebellious. Okay. Hee-hee. And she told me to go over and lie on the bed, and I did. And I was like, what is this? Where is this leading to? And she slowly walked over, and she tackled me. At any point, did you think maybe she was a zombie like in your thriller video? I didn't think it. I knew it. Is that where the inspiration came from? It is. I said to her, please, don't eat me, undead. And she said, and she said, I won't eat you. I'm just going to eat you. And then she jumped on me, started eating my eyeballs out. That's where my nose went. Can I interrupt you for a second? Yes.

1:35:48Why are you still wearing yellow contacts? Because they make my eyes feel comfortable and I don't have any contacts in. I have the contacts to see, but I don't have yellow ones in. Why do your eyes look like that from the thriller video? They are from the thriller. I am actually a werewolf. I think it's called jaundice. Why are your ears growing? They're not growing. You're shrinking. My ears aren't growing. You're shrinking. That's a... Very plausible explanation. Are you sedated? Are you high, Michael? No, but you're talking slow. Touch the button of my shirt to open it. I took my hand. And I said, and she said, and she looked at me and she was like, come on, Michael. And I went, no, shaman you. And she goes, come on. And I go, shaman. I go, shaman. And she goes, what? And I go, shaman. Bless you. Gesundheit. Say gesundheit to me if I do it again. Gesundheit. Thank you. I wouldn't let him down. She just walked away. She knew I was too shy for it. That's what happened. Shy is one word you could use. By shy, I mean gay. By shy, I mean homosexual. By shy, I mean I don't really like girls. I don't like girls. Really? Don't be mean. I'm not being mean.

1:37:29You are. No, I'm not. You're a gay man. No, I'm not. No, I am not. Yes, you are. You don't know anything. I know plenty. Was he not? No. You know one thing. A lot of dudes like to sleep with little boys in that bedroom. You know one thing, Woods. Egyptian algebra. That's true. That's all you know. That's true. I know a little baseball. I've been to Egypt. I know you have. I owned a sarcophagus. Actually, I own King Tut's bones. It's true. I said pulverize them and put them in soup. I'm just like everyone else. There's nothing different about me than anyone else. Everybody that you know doesn't have a nose and makes bones for soup. Correct. Why don't you leave me alone? I will. Fine. You're dead. I don't even think about you anymore. You know what? What? I don't take this at home. Why should I take it from you? You don't take much anything anymore, pal. I have a caterpillar that's my best friend. Yes.

1:38:29His name is Jeepers. And last night I told Jeepers I was going to come and talk to Mr. Woods. And he said, be careful. He'll get you. He said, he'll get you every time. And I said, Jeepers, why do you say that? And he said, because I've spent time with Woods. He cries diamonds. He's mean. Mean. He's mean. Throws them at you, kicks rocks. Yep. You messed up, man. You smoke pot? No. Not anymore. You're on it right now. No, no. There you are. Don't smoke. Seems like you are. I'm not. You're acting weird. You in that interview sound high. Dope smoker. He does, yeah. He sounds super. Listening to it. Sounds super high. 5701949. You guys want to do a little M1 kazoo that tune? Oh, boy. Let's do it. 5701949. Very, very easy concept, is it? Is it? We're going to play a song on a kazoo. You tell us what it is. What's the prize? We're going to give them more Body Art Expo at the San Diego Concourse, 11-12 through 11-14. There it is. Come on. 5-7-0. 1-94-9. It's an easy game. We're going to play the kazoo, and you've got to tell us what it is that we're playing. All right. Everybody's got the right end? Yeah. Lauren used to play through the small end of the kazoo. Sounds like this.

1:39:54570-1949. All right, we got our first contestant. M1 Kaylee from Corona. Are you there? Hello. How are you? Fine. Hi. Okay, I'm going to start. You got to tell me what this is, all right? Okay. Zeppelin song? Woods, did you know what it was? Yeah, it was Spoonman by Soundgarden. That is correct. That is correct. Spoonman by Soundgarden. Sorry about that. Thank you. I thought that one was going to be easy. Yeah, I did too. It was. In the beginning, it did sound like Led Zeppelin, and then I realized it was good. Like a whole lot of love? Mm-hmm. Emma and Tori from Del Mar? Yep. All right, are you ready to do this? Yeah, hopefully. Try to tell us what L.O.B. is playing now. All I need is title or artist for you to win. I have no idea. Cindy Lauper. Call yourself a girl. Come on now. These girls just want to have fun. Sorry, Tori.

1:41:47That was hard. They'll get mine. Really? Yeah. You did good, but it was still hard. M1 Louie from San Diego, you there? I am. All right. Woodsy's going to play a song for you. Try to identify it. Here we go. M1 Louie, title or artist? Is that New York, New York? Yeah! Nice to handle it. Put some vibrato in there. Wow. I am leaving today. I am leaving today. Oh, wow. Why did I pick that, I wonder. Yeah, I wonder. Yank's playing tonight, huh? Sweet music to my ears. M1 Keith is on the line from San Diego. Hi, Keith. Hey, how's it going? Good. You're the last contestant. Jay is going to play a song for you. You've got about 30 seconds to be able to identify it. Title artist wins. Here we go. Pressure's on. He's living out a dream. Yeah, 100%.

1:43:30He's living out a dream. Keith, can you give me title or artist for the win? Antoine Dodson? I don't know. Good guess. That's the Hydra Kids, Hydra Wife guy. Who is that? Hydra Kids, Hydra Wife. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Liza. Is it? No, it's Judy. That's Judy. This is my mother. Are you sure? Yes, this is my mother, Judy Garland. It's your mother, Judy Garland. Sounds a lot like me. Yeah. Hey. Liza, why didn't you just go by Liza Garland? Don't you think that would have catapulted? Because my father was Frank Minnelli. Is that right? Minnelli has a little more pizzazz. Sounds kind of like vanilla, but with a martini twist. God, it sounds like Liza Minnelli, doesn't it? Oh my goodness. It's the older version. The kid was the only one that delivered today. That's right. I thought I hit it. I thought you did too. And got the song. There you go. That was good. Oh no.

1:44:32This email is going to get me killed for sure. Weird. Dude. You ever get killed on email? Seriously, man. Because I'm guilty of this. And I know it's not right. And I'm a flawed human being. Thank you. We all are, pal. Here's what the email says. Hey, Mikey. M1 Bradley here. I got a three-year-old little boy who loves sleeping in bed with my wife and I. Kind of makes it tough to have close business, as you guys might say. Maybe clothes business? To clothes business, yes. Get some. I love that kid more than anything in the world, but it's getting ridiculous, man. He sleeps in our bed every night, and my wife and I don't get any time to ourselves. My wife and I have started arguing about it, and it's really starting to stink. What's my move here? I want to squeeze him. Thank you, Jay. You're welcome. What is my move here, Mikey? That's M1 Bradley. Don't ask me, please. What's the move, Mike? Why not ask you? Because we still let Jake sleep with us. He's four. He's four. And the deal is, you know, when he was real little and because he's autistic, we didn't have any kind of he didn't have any affection. You know, he didn't show any affection. And so when he started to, it was a big deal for us. And it was really cool. But he's past that point, I'm sure.

1:45:58He could make the transition. We tried making the transition. He cried. We couldn't take it. We were wimps. And so he still sleeps with us. Every night? Every night. In between the two of you. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, here's the thing. Rebecca and I were just talking about this yesterday. She goes, she says, I think that you fight for him to stay in that bed more than me. She was kidding. She was saying it in a playful way. Yeah, but on every joke, there's a little truth. And in your case, a very little truth. All right, I get it. I'm not tall. So, no, but he's so cute, man. He gets in that bed, and he puts his little arms around my arm, and he loves to snuggle. And, oh, man, you know? It's just, it's so... special and cool. So does your wife, though. Yeah, well, we're not really the snuggly couple. We're really not. We're not a snuggly couple. When does it get weird that the kid is still in the back? He's 42, I think, probably. You know? Jasper still does. He sleeps with us every so often, not every night. Yeah. He's eight? Seven? He's seven. I remember, like, kids I babysat for and everything, and it would be on occasion or if they were scared or something like that, but comes a point where...

1:47:21You're going to have to do it no matter what, so are you just prolonging? Yes. Now, Jake will take naps in his bed. I've seen him napping in his bed before. Which was, by the way, really difficult. I'm not a creep or anything. Rebecca took me up and said, you have to see Jake napping in his bed. Woods didn't sneak into the house to watch him sleep. Just through the window, he's watching him sleep. Why don't you start with, like, maybe this guy, too, since he's the one that needs the help. Start with, like... Only weekends you can stay in there. Can't do that. Why? Because that would be so hard for him to go to just being in there on the weekend. You'd think he did something wrong. Yeah. You've got to wean him off of it, though. Yeah. I think we will. You can't tonight, but then you can tomorrow night. That's what we do with Jasper. He's like, oh, I can't. Okay, tomorrow night. Jamie and I, my wife and I are adopting a baby, and I'll tell you this right now. We want a child. so bad. We sleep with five dogs. Four dogs. And we want a child so bad. That kid will probably sleep with us until they're 18. I'm not kidding. What will happen to the dogs? Will they get out of the bed? No, everybody just won. We have a huge bet. They just adopted an 18-year-old girl. Yeah, Woods already tried to see Jamie into that. She wasn't really keen with that idea. I remember. You were there.

1:48:43I was there when he suggested it, and I believe the exact suggestion was an 18-year-old Swedish girl. Oh, God. Hey, they need families and love like everybody else does. Your wife is a very patient woman with you. She would have to be. But we will probably end up sleeping with that child until they're, seriously, probably 16 years old. I'm sure that won't do any long-term damage to them. To the kid? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure not. I'm sure having me for a father won't do any long-term damage to them either. M1 Gabby from Penasquitos. Good morning. That's hysterical. That's awesome. Well, hey, it would be great if he was like, you know what? You guys aren't cool. Yeah. I'm sleeping in my bed. Oh, that day's coming. Yeah, but I'm telling you, man, when we made that transition, he cried that sad little cry. That you can't do anything. Heartbreaking. The kids stop crying at some point, and then they start playing with Legos. You know, they're very resilient. You got to man up.

1:50:08Man, but your kid's 70 sleeps with you guys. Not every night. How many nights do you sleep? Because there's business time. It's time for business, baby. Does that creep you out? Very much. When my friends talk about sex, it creeps me out to no end. It'll be cool for Jasper to, in 10 years from now, listen to this podcast and realize. Oh, I had to leave so my dad could slay my mom. Perfect. Gross. Disgusting. Hideous. Hideous. Just closing deals. Ugh. Let's see. M1Wannabe from San Diego. Morning. Maybe that's what we do. That's a great idea. Maybe a race car or a train bed. Get him really involved in it, too. Yeah, maybe I don't want them to go. Yeah, maybe you don't. We get them for such a short time. You do want them in the bed. Now our three-year-old daughter's in our bed, so it'll be a couple more years. Thank you. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it. Rebecca says it's a problem because the twins, our twins are a year old, and she says the twins are going to think that it's not fair. You're going to have a, no. It's not going to be a matter of fair. You're just going to have a full house in that bed. Yes, you will. Have you ever rolled over on them? What do you mean they're not allowed?

1:51:32I'm not going to let the twins in the bed. That's not fair. That's what Rebecca said. That's not fair. Well, dude, I'm not going to have eight people in our bed. What, am I Mexican? No, I am. Yes, you are Mexican. I actually am. No, listen, dude, I can't. I can't do it. You don't ever get scared you're going to roll over on them? On the twins? No, on Jake. I think there might be a fat joke there, but I'm not. No, no. I would just be so scared that I would like. Crush him. No, me. Mikey rolled over and lost the twins for a week. Yeah, I don't know where they are. Can't find them. 5701949 is the number. And, of course, it's calling in. It's my one-year-old son, Luke. Hello? Hello, Luke. I'm not allowed to. Were you listening? I thought you didn't listen to Dad's show because it's not cool enough for you. Well, it's lame, but the other show that I listen to is on commercial. Okay. I think I know what you're talking about. I don't appreciate that. It's all right. What are you calling? So I can't sleep in your bed? You know what? I don't want to sleep in your bed. Well, then what's the problem? We don't have a problem. It sounds like we don't have an issue. I don't like you saying that I can't, even though I never even asked you to. So even though you don't want to sleep. Yeah, I don't even want to. But even though you don't want to, you're upset that I won't let you. Yes. Yeah. Well, I'm not going to let five people sleep in the bed. No, but Jake can. I guess it pays to be first born, huh?

1:52:59Yeah, that's a little bit of a double standard move. Yeah, just a little bit, but that's my dad, L-O-B. Not only that, though, Luke. He's the king of the DS, I call it. Is that right? Yeah. Double standard? Yeah, Jake gets an accordion. You know what I got to play with? A box. Oh. I got a box. The box of the accordion came in? Yeah, I got a box. You're a year old. You can't do anything else but play with... Hey, when are you going to... Where are you going? Africa or something? No, I'm not going to Africa. I'm going to Haiti. You're going to Haiti? Yes. When? Sometime in November. If you don't come back, can I have your car? Shut up. That's ridiculous. Seriously? That's ridiculous. Can I have your car? You can't drive. You're a year old. I can drive. No, you can't. Trust me. I drive that thing more than you know. Really? Oh, wow. Drive it silly. You drive it silly. Yeah. Hey. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't ask me. Hey, you're going somewhere this weekend, too, right? Yep. And it's just going to be me, mom, and the other dudes that are in the house, and the Hungarian broad, and who else? And your Uncle Steve. is coming in from Phoenix. Really? Yes. Your twin? No, he's not my twin. What's he doing here? He's going to be here because we're going to be taking off and he's filming you guys. When I get back, he's filming. So no college football once again. Unless Uncle Steve's watching. Have some people over this weekend since you're not going to be at home. Is mom going anywhere? No. Mom's not going anywhere and you're not going to have some quote people over. It's just some of my homies from my

1:54:31Hey, Luke, I'm bringing the glow sticks. Cool. I'm in. I'm in. Bring that ecstasy, too. Hey, what time do you get off work? I told you not to ask me what time I get off work. When do you get off? You ask that every time you call in, you ask that. When do you get off? I get off at 10. Okay, what time are you going to be home? L.O.B. with the same routine every time. I know. He asked me the same question. At least he's consistent. He knows what time I get off. I get off at 10. Yeah, you get off at 10, you get off at 3. Nobody knows where the hell you are from 10 to 3. Trust me, mom's always running out of the house going, where the hell is he? Maybe a guy comes home and does some dishes. No, don't worry, I'll get it. I'll do whatever you're doing. Don't worry about it. Oh, God. How about I'm working? I'm working. I'm supporting you. Yeah, you're writing bits. Urban Survivor. Real funny. It is real funny, and it's actually work. I'm working to support you. My friend Tony, his dad is a bricklayer. Tony. Trust me. Your friend Tony's dad is a bricklayer. I go to Tony's house, and we watch football. We drink beer, and we smoke cigarettes. Okay, well, you know what? I don't watch college football. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I don't smoke cigarettes, and neither do you. I'm sorry. Maybe man up, pal. Okay, maybe baby up. Check your sack, all right? All right, maybe check your crib. Check your diaper. Check your crib. Check your diaper. Check your diaper.

1:55:59Really? You're going to argue? Goodbye. Sassy one-year-old. You have a long road ahead of you, Mike. You think? Gosh, darn it. That kid is just such a pain. Do you ever play the same song? Oh, boy. Be professional, pal. Come on. Really? You sound like Luke right now. You know it. Unbelievable. 5701949. Did your son just tell you to check your sack? Yeah, he did. When I play you this audio, there's no other way to describe it other than just flat out weird. Did Elton John accuse pop stars of something that he does and even gets real fired up about it and then decides to use an A-list minority pop artist as an example of why he hates pop music? Am I playing the minority card? Absolutely. Play this clip. Calico.

1:57:26Hey, Lars. Yeah. How you doing? I'm doing good, man. I like to play Seek and Destroy because most people like the stuff from the old days, man. Yeah, they do. It rocks hard. It does. Mikey's show presents you to manicure. That's one week. One week from today. Now, if you are a real manly man. Woods. Yeah. Exactly. No. And you want to go on this thing. Here's what it's going to include, by the way. They're going to pick us up a week from today when the show is over. And we're going to get into a stretch hummer from Rockstar Limos. Nice. Rockstarlimosd.com. And we are going to go get a straight razor shave from Two Roses Barbershop in Logan Heights. And this all came up because Woods has never had.

1:58:28A massage. It's true. And so he's going to get his first massage. But not only that, he's going to get completely man pampered. Manpered. He's going to be manpered. We're going to get a massage, a pedicure, and a facial from Urban Skin Care and Bee Beauty Boutique in Little Italy. You, the manicure. Can't wait. Yeah. Now, if you want to do this with us, fellas, this is a guys-only event. You go to MikeyShow.com. And in 200 letters or less, you write us a poem. All right? And you tell us in this beautiful poem why you should get to join us in the You Demand a Cure contest. You all right, Woods? No. It's taking Claritin. No, no, no. Took cold medicine. Doesn't like it because he can't taste his snuff. I'm getting sick. And so he's putting little drops in his eyes. Sucking down cough drops. Sucking down cough drops. Bragging yesterday that I don't get sick. Maybe if I didn't work with a bunch of sickly people, I would. I'm not sick. I have allergies. I have allergies, Woods. I have a cold. Jake gave me a cold. You should try that stuff I have, that tea. I don't want tea. Mushroom? I need sleepy. It's the only thing that makes me feel better. Sleepy. Yeah. Sleepy time. Yeah. And baseball. And steak.

1:59:58Sorry to stand in your way. Let's see. Shut it. Elton John yesterday. She's scratching like, no, I'm starting to itch. I just looked up shingles. I don't have them. You don't have shingles. It would hurt you so bad. So tell me if you see anything weird about Elton John's comments yesterday. I don't think there's the quality of the music that there was in, say, the late 60s, early 70s. The amount of songwriters you get. I honestly don't know why not. In the 70s, you could buy records every week by Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Neil Young, Carole King, James Taylor, great songwriters whose songs lasted forever. And now it's all about getting on the radio and writing nursery rhyme kind of things. I mean, no one's going to be singing Jenny from the Block in 10 years time, right? And no one's going to be singing... I think Lady Gaga writes great songs. And I think there are...

2:01:00some people jennifer lopez is like what did i do i'm just sitting here i'm not doing anything but listen to this do write good songs but in general i'm saying the stand if you're a singer who relies on people to write songs for you um like aretha franklin and people whoa that's him yeah he didn't write his songs he didn't write his songs in fact i heard an interview the other day with billy joel yeah and they're like billy how do you write a song and he told them And then he goes, what about Elton John? And he goes, oh, Bernie used to just send him lyrics. And he would write the music and stuff, some of it around it. But he never wrote any lyrics. He didn't write any lyrics. He didn't write his own songs. He and Bernie Taupin were partners in music. Life partners, if you will. Not life partners. Maybe he considers himself a co-writer because he writes the music. Because he wrote the music. He's a composer. I mean, yeah, Elton John's a talented dude. No doubt. But you can't say. I guess he can't say, hey, they didn't even write their own music because he didn't even write his own lyrics. Right. Do you ever get old and start saying that everything else that comes out after you is crap? Yeah. It's like, come on, please. He's got a point. I agree with the Jimmy from the block. He's got a point. Even though you dance to it. No. Oh, please. No. Come on. I mean, the Black Hat piece, come on. That is gold. That's garbage.

2:02:15My humps. My humps. Garbage. How stupid is that? It's the same as pop music has always been. And we like pop music as long as it's the stuff we grew up on. And then we get older and we go, oh, this stuff today. It's garbage. Why do girls that can sing doing the, ooh, check it out, ooh, like Fergie did that? Say that and do it one more time. Ooh, check it out. Now, if I auto-tune you doing that, it's probably not going to be that bad. And then Jenny, don't be fooled by the rock set I got. And then she'd be like, the Bronx. I don't know. What's up with that? I don't like it. Pop music to me, it hasn't changed. No Miley Cyrus. So what was pop back then? Pop back when? Back then, in Elton's day. What was pop music? Pop in the 70s? See, Blondie was not pop. It was 80s too. Pop in the 70s? Yeah. Pop in the 70s was KC and the Sunshine Band, which plebeians back in the 70s probably went, KC and the Sunshine Band. Bay City Rollers. Yes, Bay City Rollers. Any chicks like there are now? All pop is is top 40, and we all liked it. It's AM gold. Any AM gold was pop music. Afternoon Delight is cool. I mean, it was fun to listen to, man. It was fun to listen to. But there were people like, this is BS. Listen to Iggy and the Stooges. Yes, if you really want to hear real music, why don't you listen to some Bowie? But pop has a distinct... I know that pop is short for popular, but pop has a distinctive sound now.

2:03:40Yeah, it's just changed. In the 70s, it sounded like Casey and the Sunshine Band. In the 80s, it sounded like Michael Jackson. In the 90s, it sounded like... Britney Spears. Britney Spears. And today, it sounds like Fergie. And there's plebeians in every era. Every decade. In every decade, there's a guy that's like, why don't you listen to some Neil Young? Really? You're listening to this? Garbage? You should be listening to the new Iggy Pop record. That's where it's at. The Stooges, man. The MC5. I like all the music you guys are making fun of. I guess I'm a plebeian. Yeah, maybe it's great. I mean, maybe there's no problem with it. All I'm saying is that there's also music is all subjective. And for Elton John to be sitting there and not write a stitch of lyric in his life and be like, they really should be writing their own music. Really, Elton? Like you? Oh, so now it's a great interpreter of a lyric. Yes, because it's Streisand. Because it's Streisand, because it's...

2:04:43Well, we're breaking up what he said, though. It was his complete thought on it. His complete thought was, write your own stuff. He said, for people that don't write their own music, like Aretha Franklin, Barbra Streisand, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, what's the... Interpreters of the lyric. I'll back it up if you want. Here we go. People to write songs for you. Like Aretha Franklin and people like that, that used in the past, or Barbra Streisand, or whatever, who are great interpreters of a lyric. Or Elton John. Or Elton John. I don't know the quality of the songwriters around now. So I find that people whose career is based on having to wait for a song for them, they're really in a sticky position. Do you think they've got to write their own songs? I think they have to try. With the reality show American Idol, I would have loved to have seen a segment that all the contestants had to write a song. Well, guess what, Elton? You wouldn't have made it on American Idol then because you didn't write your own songs. I'll tell you what, though, man. There is some validity because one of my favorite eras of music is Motown. None of those guys. All the Motown songs were written by three dudes, okay? And they were like, mm, this sounds like the Temps. Mm, this sounds like the Tops. This sounds like the Supremes. I can't remember their name. My dad is rolling. He's wrecking his car right now because I grew up on this stuff. None of those guys, like the Four Tops, the Temptations, they didn't write their own stuff. It was three dudes that wrote all the stuff and facilitated these songs. The only difference between Motown guys and guys now, those guys had talent. Those guys could sing.

2:06:06These guys can't. That's the difference. Yeah, they can. The thing is that I play it for you, and if you don't know who they are, if they haven't come out and they haven't become popular yet, if I play it for you and I go, what do you think of this person's voice? Yeah, I think it's pretty good. And then about 10 months later, after they've become popular, sold 10 million records in it, and you find out that they didn't write it themselves, you go, oh, it's totally, completely gay. It's the worst dribble I've ever heard in my life. It takes you to consume. the fact that they are now big stars. So why do I love Ain't No Mountain High Enough? Because you grew up on it, that's why. It's this, it's the same thing. So you would compare Sexy Back to Ain't No Mountain High Enough and say that they're... 100, and this is why, this is why. See, the person that grew up on Sexy, bringing Sexy Back, that person, 30 years from now, there's going to be some new pop star out. And there's going to be some weird computerized thing that they do. Okay. And that person is going to be 45 years old and they're going to go, you didn't grow up on, I'm bringing sexy back. That's when it was real, man.

2:07:14That's when it was real. Motown had soul. Bring sexy back. These guys don't have a lot of soul, man. Right. I don't think you can compare Ain't No Mountain High Enough and sexy back. I know. I don't either. The reason that you say that, though, is because that's what you grew up on. But Ain't No Mountain High Enough is a lot more metaphorical than I'm bringing sexy back them other fellas don't know how to act. That's right. He's such a wordsmith. I can't see too well. Is that Bill Shakespeare? Really? So when Ain't No Mountain High Enough came out, there were people. In the era of ain't no mountain high enough that we're going, you know what? This ain't no mountain high enough. This is dribble. When I was growing up. We had Tommy Dorsey. We had Tommy Dorsey who played real music. He actually had a composer. He played the trumpet. There's no horns in ain't no mountain high enough. There's no horns. It's cyclical. It'll never stop. Of course. We all like what we grew up on. I know how strange it sounds, but guess what? I didn't like what I grew up on. 40 years from now, you're going to hear people going... No, I listen to classic rock. 40 years from now, you're going to hear old people going, when I was a kid, Justin Timberlake used to do it for real, you know? He'd actually get out there and dance. Nowadays, they don't even dance anymore. And there'll be some stupid 14-year-old going, of course they don't...

2:08:43dance anymore. Idiot. Dummy. That's lame. When I was a kid, Justin Timberlake used to actually dance. When I was a kid, we had the Barbershop Quartet. And look, I've changed. I've managed to make it. Pop music hasn't changed. I'm just saying, the majority of the music I listen to, from before I was even born. So it's not like I grew up on it. I selected listening to that once I was old enough to buy a CD. Same with me. I mean, when I was growing up, I listened to Barbra Streisand because that's what my mom listened to. My mom and dad listened to Neil Diamond, Barbra Streisand, Kenny Loggins, which, by the way, I thought was lame until I got older. So you get older and you fall in love with it all over. You appreciate it. You hear it and you're like, man, it takes me back, me and my old man, going camping or whatever. I'm telling you, though, no doubt about it, I like Where's the Love. I think the lyrics are pretty cool.

2:09:43I actually think the music is pretty cool, and I think Fergie can actually sing. I would be in on that band if Fergie was not in it. I promise you. I used to be in on them when she wasn't in it. When four people knew who they were, I liked the black idea. Yeah, before they sold nine records, I was all the way in. I saw them in a club, Mike. It was hip-hop then. Now it's... I saw them at a club in Plano, Texas. That's right. There were three of us in that club. Is that me talking? And it was magic. You know who the three of us were? Me and two Black Panthers. That's right. That's why they were cool, all right? But then they sold more than nine records and I'm out. I don't want to have anything to do with that. I told you. I told you. I told you. I would, you jinxed her. I told you. Chair breaks every week. It breaks. It's not a jinx. It's broken. It's broken. I keep telling Jason, I can fix it. I can fix it. I did fix it. He does. He fixes it. Does he? Obviously. Every week he fixes it. Remind me not to let you look at my car. Ever. It's tough. It's one of those things. I'm going to get rid of those chairs. 5701949. What's your opinion, by the way? Now this is good news. I agree. I know. My wife's like...

2:10:54Really, with the Pantera again? You're going to have 95 plebeians go, Really? That's good music, eh, Woods? Oh, is it, Woods? We're in Texas. You simpleton craphead. Four chord progressions. Who wrote it, Albert Einstein? The other day we were talking about the guy from NPR that got fired for what he said about being nervous because Muslims were on the plane, right? Well... He was unemployed for 24 hours. Tell you who hired him, and we're also going to play the audio of his comment that got him fired, what he thinks about getting fired, and NPR's CEO commenting on it. That's all when we come back. Let's hear it from a live studio audience. You know what's interesting, Miguel? Yeah? When I used to pick the audience, it used to be mostly dudes. Jay starts picking the audience. It's all girls in here. It's weird how that works. Oh, yeah, guys, I'm letting the computer do it. It's just the luck of the draw, I guess. He goes through, he's like, Katie, Alice, Nicole. We need some measurements, okay? We need measurements. By the way, I want to wish our boy M1 Josiah a happy birthday today. Happy birthday. Josiah is turning 31 today. He loves to goad me about sports.

2:12:40Well, yeah, because he's an SC fan. You're a Notre Dame fan. Yeah. You ever be on probation real good for two years? What do you mean? USC. You ever can't go to a bowl game? He's breaking the law real good. Do you ever can't go to a bowl game? What do you think about that? You ever just shunned from the college football world? Real good. Woods. Gotcha, pal. Gotcha real good. Happy birthday. It's his birthday today. So, word of the day is deceitful. It can get you to UFC 121 in Anaheim tomorrow. A pair of tickets. If you hear me use the word deceitful in a sentence, it can get you in to see that show tomorrow night up in Anaheim. It's going to be very cool. Mikey's show is me, Woods, LOB. Sienna is back in two days. She'll be back on Tuesday. Yes. We're very happy about it. So that means one more day of doing news for me. One more day. That's right.

2:13:39You got Monday and that's it. You'll have the old woods back in here. That's right. Yikes. Yeah. Watch out. Juan Williams. Didn't know his name. Still barely do. Worked for NPR. I say worked for NPR because he got fired. And this is the comments that got him fired. I'm not a bigot. You know, the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on a plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb. And I think, you know, they're identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims. I get worried. I get nervous. I've heard that from people off the air a million times. I guess if you say it on the air, you get fired. If it makes him feel nervous, to me, it seems like it's his feelings. You know, and it doesn't seem patently racist to me. But anyway, he got fired. This is him talking about his feelings about getting fired for it. Wednesday afternoon, I got a message on my cell phone from Ellen Weiss, who's the head of news at NPR, asking me to call. When I called back, she said, what did you say? What did you mean to say? And I said, I said what I meant to say, which is that it's an honest experience that when I'm in an airport and I see people who...

2:15:02are in Muslim garb who identify themselves first and foremost as Muslims. I do a double take. I have a moment of anxiety or fear given what happened on 9-11. That's just a reality. And she went on to say, well, that crosses the line. And I said, what line? It crosses the line for him to feel that? Yeah, you can't feel that. You're not allowed to feel that way. I guess you're allowed to feel it and not say it. You're allowed to feel it, you can't say it. Apparently so. It's that. And she went on to somehow suggest it. I had made a bigoted statement, and I said, that's not a bigoted statement. In fact, in the course of this conversation with Bill O'Reilly, he said that we have, as Americans, an obligation to be careful to protect the constitutional rights of everyone in the country and to make sure we don't have any outbreak of bigotry, but that there's a reality. You cannot ignore what happened on 9-11, and you cannot ignore the connection. to Islamic radicalism, and you can't ignore the fact of what has been even recently said in court with regard to this as the first drop of blood in a Muslim war on America. And then she said, you know, this has been decided up the chain. I said, you mean, I don't even get the chance to come in and we do this eyeball to eyeball, person to person, have a conversation. I've been there for more than 10 years. We don't have that chance to have a conversation about this. And she said, there's nothing you can say that will change my mind. This has been decided above me, and we're terminating your contract.

2:16:24I think it's wrong. I think it's wrong. And I don't think that this guy is racist. I don't think that he's racist for what he said that he felt. Not at all. This is the CEO that he's talking about, Vivian Schiller, from NPR. She's the CEO of NPR, explaining why she fired him. He has been a frequent contributor to Fox News. That's fine. We don't necessarily have an issue with that. However, we expect anybody that appears on our air, either as a journalist or a news analyst, to conduct themselves according to our journalistic rules of ethics, wherever they might be. There have been several incidences over the years where Juan has strayed from that line, and we've had discussions with him. We've asked him not to do it again. This is not the first time, quite honestly. Incidences. Yeah.

2:17:22It's incidents. Incidents. Incidences. Woods gets really... Immediate credibility got down the crapper. Yeah. Sorry, Miss Vivian CEO, whatever your name is. Woods one time... Incidences? Woods one time had a girlfriend write him an angry email and tell him that he was a looser. Right. L-O-O-S-E-R. Looser. I wrote back... Maybe you can't say what you... Okay. Well... I was going to say, to be fair, about six minutes ago, Woods said, do you ever can't go to Baltimore? That's part of my bit, though. I'm just saying. Do you ever call people out? I'm just saying. No, that's part of my bit. I'm just saying. That's part of my bit. This wasn't her bit. That's my bit. My bit is I say words wrong all the time. That's right. We made a decision that really, quite honestly, at this point, after. I wonder what he did. I wonder what his other incidents were. Nothing.

2:18:21No, you don't think? No. Several cases. It's what they always say when they abruptly fire somebody. He didn't do anything. He's been there 10 years. And she's like, oh, you should have seen his personnel file. This was the last straw. Think he's going to win a lawsuit against them? Maybe. Of him veering from those journalistic ethics that in this case we decided that we should, that he could no longer, that his integrity as a news analyst has been undermined by the fact that. He has expressed these very divisive views. This is not a reflection on his comments. This is not a debate. You know, Juan feels the way he feels. That is not for me to pass judgment on. That is really his. No, you did. You just did when you found out. Juan wants what he wants. Yeah, the heart Juan. Wow. Juan wants what he wants. Right? Isn't that the saying? What he wants. The heart Juan. But the heart won. She won. She won. We won here at NPR. Yeah, we won. He did not won. He did not won. This time. And I am not one to point the finger. I'm just saying. I don't want to go down that road, but I will. If we have to. You guys want to play some Juan on Juan? Yeah, if he would like to come on NPR.

2:19:46and debate me one-on-one, I would be more than happy to. So be it. One-on-one in the eye with Juan. Yes, he wanted to look me one-on-one in the eye. He wanted to go toe-to-toe, and I was like, I don't want to do that. I was all, and then he was all. Fox News are really between him and his psychiatrist or his publicist. Holy cow! Oh, she's probably going to get sued. Oh, for sure. Or take your pick. But it is not compatible with the role of a news analyst on NPR's air. Do women ever overreact? What? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I want to slit your throat. I'm just kidding. You fired, and then tomorrow you're like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that about women. I love women. I wasn't really trying to upset anybody. My wife says she's keeping a file on me for all the sexist things I say. Yeah, she goes, I'm keeping a file on you. To her or on the air? No, both. No. Hi. Had to see that one coming. Captain Buzzkill, how you doing? Yeah, I'm doing great. What do you want? What do you want?

2:21:06I'm sitting at home. Pantsless. Weird. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. You're pantsless. No, I'm not. You're pantsless. I'm wearing sweats. Did you get them at Costco? No, I got them at Target, if you must know. I must know. Pockets or no pockets? No pockets. That's stupid. What do you want? What do you want? Oh, that's so funny. I'm calling Wood because I finally got you. You're done. Am I? Oh, yeah, you are. Why? I'm writing a letter to Mr. Rick. Don't mock me. Don't try my patience. What do you want? I'm going to write a letter to your boss. About what would I do? I have you this time in my clutches. In my clutches? What did I say? I'll tell you what you said. You said, don't women ask for it? No. I said, do women ever overreact about stuff? Yeah, that's right. You said it, and I taped it. Great.

2:22:06That's not actionable. I'll put it on the podcast later for anyone that wants it. You can't do anything to me for that. You can't do anything. I'm going to sell it on eBay and then I'm going to ship it off and I'm going to give it to NPR and then I'm going to have them make a big case out of it and then I'm going to send it to Richard Jackson who will call you into his office and he'll be making a speech just like he was. Nope. Firing. Talking about all my incidences. Taking you all the way to the... Now, I do have, in my file, there are some incidences. Oh, really? There's a thick file. There's a thick file. That's for sure. If you don't believe that, dismiss Mr. Ken R. Layton. I hope you know that because you do call in with harassing phone calls, we already have our head of security starting a file on you. Yes, there is a file, and it says CBK on it. Restraining orders in the works? Captain R. Buzzkill. I'm allowed. To call the radio station. It's my first amendment, right? Yeah, you can. You're allowed to call as much as you want, but you say threatening and harassing him. You harass and you threaten. I've never threatened anyone. Oh, yeah. What did I say? You said you had woods in your clutches and that you were going to send off a tape of him. Yeah. That's not a threat. That's a threat. Is it promised? Oh, really? You bet it is. You're threatening me. Why don't you come down here? I'm putting that in your file. Tough guy. New radio. I am switching.

2:23:35Good, go. Twice. Twice. Twice. Twice. Yep, that's because you wait by your radio and listen to every single minute. Pantsless. Pantsless. Real good. Why don't you guys take the weekend off? We are. We will. Yeah. Was that like his big finale? Yeah. His big final shot. Why don't you guys take the weekend off? Yeah, we will. See you Monday. Why don't you call yourself the Mikey Show? Yeah, we'll see you Monday. Just obvious stuff? Yeah, Captain Obvious maybe. Why don't you guys just have Sienna back on Tuesday? Woods, maybe do some sports. Yeah, Woods, maybe play some baseball on Sunday. Weird. 570-1949.

2:24:39M1 John from San Diego. Hey, what's going on, Mikey? What's up? Man, I was going to say that I'm a half Middle Eastern, and I was just on a flight about a month ago to Iran in LAX, and I saw a couple Muslims in Muslim garb, and, you know, just because I've been there, I've seen it, I get a little nervous, a little anxious myself, and I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. You know, we definitely relate back to 9-11, and what he said, you know, I totally agree with it. We might have to fire you for your thoughts. Yes, you are now fired at the M1. That's right. Well, there you go. I mean, this guy is half... Are you Muslim? No, I'm not Muslim. I'm actually a Christian, but I'm half Middle Eastern and half Mexican. No. Fusion. Yeah. Well, thank you for the call. Hey, and did you tell people where he ended up, this one? Oh, yeah, he's at Fox now. Yeah, he got hired the next day with a three-year, $2 million contract. Oh, my. Best movie ever made. He gets on Fox. He's like, I don't really like Mexicans or black people either. If you guys want to, anybody want to, you know. Just FYI. I had a guy in New Orleans think that I was Middle Eastern. What did he say? He was a stand-up comic. And he was like, are you Middle Eastern descent?

2:26:06In while he was doing his act? Yeah. Gosh. And I go, no. And he goes, yeah, not a little? You don't have some? And I was like, no. Eject. Yeah. Would you like some? Weird. That didn't make sense. I think I know what he was trying to do. You know what he meant. But he didn't have the right setup in you. Do you have any Middle Eastern in you? Yeah, would you like some? But then he'd have to be Middle Eastern. The comic would have had to be Middle Eastern. So the real is just a terrible. Terrible. It still made me happy. It still made him happy, and that's the deal. There goes the guy's whole bit. He's trying to do a bit with you, and you're sitting there. Hey, man, you Middle Eastern? No. No. You sure? Come on. Yes. You a little bit Middle Eastern? Not at all. Like a quarter? No. Crap. Yeah. Were you really 10 or something? I guess. Have you ever had Middle Eastern food? Yeah, what about you? Are you Irish? Young lady? Is she running around picking people in the audience? Do I look Middle Eastern? Not at all. No, no? 100%. But that's why comics don't pick on people in the audience. Be nice to them. Were you wearing a turban? And conversely, audience members don't pick on comedians. That's true. Yeah. Do not ask her to take her shirt off and show her boobs when she's trying to get a joke out. I apologize for that, Lauren. You said he was sorry. Yeah. And you keep bringing it up.

2:27:25Let me talk to, I'm going to talk to Jessica from Outside the Bowl. Let me get Jessica up here. Let's hear it for her, too, by the way. Thank you for Outside the Bowl coming today. Have you come over to this microphone? Put those headphones on. You put those headphones on? Act like you've been here before. Jay, I'll help you with this. So, Outside the Bowl is the organization that I'm going to be going to Haiti with. And Jessica knows a lot about it because you're actually living there right now, right? Yes, we are. And it was such an education for me. to hear about what it's like living there. Because I really didn't have any idea. I mean, I knew that it was impoverished and I knew that it was a third world country. And I knew that the situation was bad, but it wasn't until I started talking to folks about how you actually live there. There is no power. You guys have a generator that gives you power.

2:28:21It's just not anything like what we're used to here. And so tell me a little bit about, first of all, tell people what Outside the Bowl is. Outside the Bowl is a nonprofit organization committed to helping with world hunger. Every five seconds, a child dies from hunger-related diseases. And so Outside the Bowl started in South Africa, and the goal was to create a kitchen. that would help address those needs. And so in South Africa, they were able to use local grocers, local farmers to create food. They have a huge kitchen. It has these two huge pots, basically look like gigantic crockpots, and they cook a lot of food. They can cook up to 8,000 meals a day. And through that food, then they funnel it through local churches, schools, organizations. And in that, you kind of create this self-sustaining... feeding powerhouse, really, that cooks the food in a location but delivers it to local schools, organizations, and so that you really have, you know, in South Africa and what we're trying to do in Haiti is you have local people cooking the food, you have local people distributing the food, you have local people finding the people in the community that are hungry and helping to give them the tools to feed. And so through that, the goal of Outside the Bull is to use food to help people not only

2:29:46eat which is huge when you don't have anything to eat you can't go about your normal tasks it's hard to function to think clearly to to even think about um anything besides what do i eat today i mean i'm kind of irrational and i haven't had something to eat sure you know and so with mikey yeah it's the truth it's true it is and so um well here's my here's another part of my um thing about really how I got involved with Outside the Bowl is, well, there's two things now that I'm involved with. One of them is Children's Hospital and the ADI, the Autism Discovery Institute at Children's Hospital. My son Jake is autistic, and so that was something that was really special to me, and it was something that I always wanted to be involved with, and I was. But, you know, and this is what I want to say to anybody that is, you know, looking to help in in any way in any part of their life my feeling is is that we all have an opportunity to do something while we're here you know if we live to be 80 years old it's still a short time and the way that you pick what it is that you want to be involved in is maybe it touches your life maybe you have a mom that died of breast cancer or you have a a dad that had leukemia and you make that your deal um my son is autistic so

2:31:14Children's Hospital and ADI was perfect fit for us. I saw a video on what's happening in Haiti. Now, I'd seen stuff before. The particular thing that I saw showed kids that were starving. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, I'm sitting there watching it, started crying. And I started crying because I imagined my own kids. You know, my own kids. I got a four-year-old and I have twin boys that are a year old. And I just imagined if they were hungry. And a lot of these kids in Haiti, sometimes they haven't eaten for days. And that just touched me. The way that you know that something's right for you is that it's got your name written on it. Outside the bowl had my name written all over it. As soon as I saw that, it touched me. Now, the reason that I'm going...

2:32:12My brother is a very, very talented videographer, really talented, and he's taken the trip with me. One thing that my brother has a really incredible talent for is, there's no other way to put it, documenting human life. My brother has this very unique talent, and that would, I'm sure, mean a lot to him. I know him. I know he would like hearing that. But he's got this real unique ability to document human life, whether it's a birthday or a wedding or whatever. He has a gift for documenting human life. And so he's coming with us. He's going to document what happens and what we you know, what we're able to see right now. We know we're going to Port-au-Prince, but we don't know if we can make it to Port-au-Pay because the airplane that makes it into Port-au-Pay has been somewhat sketchy. And the airplane that takes you from Port-au-Prince to Port-au-Pay lands on a street in Port-au-Pay. There is no airport. You land on a street, you get out of the plane, and then you get in the back of a truck. And the truck takes you to wherever you're going to go. But that's, you know, what it's like right now in Haiti. And so outside the bowl helps to feed these kids.

2:33:38You live in, like I said, a compound, right? Mm-hmm. Where you have a generator that gives you the electricity and stuff, right? Yep. And how long have you been there? My husband and I have been living there since April. Since April. Yeah. And describe what... Are you in Port-a-Pay? Yes. You're in Port-a-Pay? Yeah. Describe what it's like there, what it looks like, and what... Just describe it. Port-a-Pay is a crazy city. It's about 250,000 people, and most people, the unemployment rate is in the 90%, so you have people everywhere, sitting everywhere, standing everywhere. People are always out, just hanging out, staring at you, curious what the white people are doing. Right. A lot of it, too, is like a lot of houses. We weren't directly affected from the earthquake. We're 120 miles away, so there's not collapsed buildings and tent cities, but most of the structures aren't.

2:34:37You know, you have a house they can afford to add on one room, and it has no roof, and it has no windows, and so the structures look very different. In the city, I have a lot of concrete. There's no paved roads. Everything's dirt. More than half of the population doesn't use an improved toilet facility, so you can imagine what that looks like, what that smells like. The puddles on the street aren't just from the rain, so you definitely want to avoid puddles. And so, you know, they don't have things that we take for granted here, like municipal trash. I mean, there's trash everywhere. Everywhere you look, there's nowhere to put it. Some people get together and burn it, but that creates, you know, problems and so many different things. There is just... Yeah, there's always a lot going on. Pedestrians in Haiti don't have the right-of-way, and there's always huge trucks going by, motos, tap-taps. It's busy. It's dirty. Right now, we're in the rainy season, so it's...

2:35:38you know, very, the streets are just mud. You know, if it rains for 20 minutes, since there's not a lot of trees, there's not a lot of vegetation, it just becomes puddles everywhere. It's, you know, here, being from California, we love it when it rains. You know, we're like, oh, rain and thunder and lightning. But, you know, we usually can drive in a truck to get places, but people have to walk. And so, you know, that's difficult for them. Well, I want to invite people, and thank you so much for coming in. And telling people, okay, so on Friday, November 12th, there's going to be a concert. Cutlass is playing. And I'm going to be there for this concert. And it's just going to be an incredible night, incredible band. They're going to play live in our studio that morning. And Cutlass is really good. And the proceeds are going to benefit outside the bowl and feed a lot of kids. And so... What I want to ask is that you go to OutsideTheBowl.org and support me and support this organization and support these kids. I'm going to play you this because this is what changed it for me. I haven't told this story. This changed it for me. My story about seeing that video and me crying, seeing that video when I saw it is true.

2:37:09It isn't what made me decide on all of this. And I'm telling you that there was a moment of decision. There was a... I remember it. I remember the moment that I decided I'm getting involved in this organization however I can. I'm going to try to raise tons of money for this organization. And it was a song. I heard a song. And was just weeping, man. Just weeping, weeping, weeping hearing this song. Beautiful song, though. And it changed everything. I heard it and it was like I had been struck by lightning as how powerful it hit me. And it will be the song that we use when we put together the video that we're going to document. So I'm going to play that for you. I think Woodsy's going to be nice and calm tonight when the Yankees are playing. I think he'll be uptight at all. Uptight. Tightly wound.

2:42:52I'm so hyped, dude, for this game. I'm about to jump out of my skin. Yes, very much. Yeah. Very much. I need, like, some downers. Yeah. When I get home, I need to take some downers. Anybody have any lewds? Oh, wow. Anybody? Yeah. No lewds? You need a nap. I think you get home. I can't nap. I'm going to be like. Last night, we were laying on the couch, and Empire State of Mind was on. Yeah. On my laptop. Yeah. And I started, like, getting excited. And Jamie goes, it's tomorrow. Just relax. You'll be fine. You know what would make you feel better? What? I hate you. I hate you. Why do you hate that so much? I think it sounds great. Don't worry about it. Just come on. It's funny, Woodsy. Come on, Woodsy. Where'd it go? I don't know. Where's mine? You should have it. Where's my little? No, it's gone. Dang it. Oh, man. You want to do new movies coming in theaters this weekend? No, I just want to play around, be deceitful, and get you all wound up. Maybe I deleted it off your array. Maybe you did. You did? You never know what the kid may do. You never know. The kid gets here real early. You're not allowed to touch that. He doesn't like us to play it. Why is it stopping? Because I just have the abbreviated version. Maybe I delete that next. But it's gone forever. You better not have deleted that clip, Woods. I've made a backup of it. You have?

2:44:15A Pikachu. I hate all of you. We love that. I hate it. 5-7-0. It makes me uncomfortable. 5-7-0. I'd like you not to play it. It makes me uncomfortable. No problem. I will go to HR if need be. I'm sure. That's how uncomfortable I am. I hear you. We don't have HR anymore, so you're going to feel you, and I see you. I'm very uncomfortable. M1 Ray from San Diego. What was the word of the day? Defeatful. Yeah. I'm correct. That was stoked for UFC. Dude, you're going to UFC 121 tomorrow in Anaheim, bro. That's right. Good job. Hang on the line, dude. All right, thanks. Yeah, you got it. Pays to listen. Let me ask him, too. Hey, Ray, have you ever been to a UFC event? Nope. Dude, let me tell you something. I've been to a prize fight before boxing. Saw Oscar De La Hoya fight. in a prize fight. And I've been to, and I went to UFC 51, was the first UFC event that I saw. There is nothing that compares to going to a UFC event. The hair on your arm, the hair on your arm will stand up when they, when that music starts and they start that show, dude, you are going to freak out.

2:45:39So, congratulations. Hang on. Easy, bud. Hang on. Let that guy go. I wish I knew how to quit you. All right. Guys just excited. He's running around pantsless, just screaming. All right, we got new movies that are coming out? Yeah, we do. What do we got? Paranormal Activity 2 is out today. What? Really? I mean, there can't be a chance that's any good if it's a sequel. You know what I mean? It's a separate set of people that this has happened to. In the same house, is that the deal? Probably different. Probably a different house. In the sequel to last year's wildly successful supernatural thriller, a family is terrorized by spooky hauntings in their home. Oh, wow. Did you just make that up? No. Spooky haunting? I didn't see the first one. I heard it was so scary. My wife keeps wanting to watch it, and I won't watch it. It's scary. It's supposed to be in San Diego, too. Yeah, it takes place in San Diego. And then Hereafter is coming out. That's the new Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon story about three people whose lives intersect in a search for truth about the afterlife. Say it. Here's a clip of Jay Moore and Matt Damon from that movie. Did you do it? What? The reading. Did you do the reading? You still don't get it, do you? I think just because I can make money doing this, just because I can, that I should do it. Yeah. Yeah, I do.

2:47:03I also think you have a duty to do it because you have a gift. It's not a gift, Billy. It's a curse. How come Matt Damon sounds like he can't act in that? In that clip? It didn't sound like a... It sounds pretty good to me. No, it sounded like a high school play. Have you seen the previews? Yeah, and it looks rad. It looks pretty good. Also, The Company Men is coming out in limited release. It's Ben Affleck. Looks like Tommy Lee Jones. Looks pretty good. Coworkers are forced to redefine their lives when corporate downsizing leaves them jobless. Yeah. Inhale. I don't know what these two things are. I don't know. Bread with Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman. I think that's out this weekend. I don't know. Maybe Sienna comes back and does it. Yeah, kick ass. That movie looks good. How's everybody doing? Everybody good? You guys hanging in real good? That's it. There's nothing. There's nothing else. Are you doing all right? I'm fine. Okay. Sorry, you're screaming. Top of your lungs. Shouting now. I'm not even saying anything. You're yelling. You're yelling. You're yelling. It's the loudest I've ever heard you yell. You're so screaming at the top of your lungs. I've never heard you yell this long in my life. Hey, guys, take it outside, okay? What's the deal with Lindsay Lohan and the judge deciding between jail or rehab? Well, you know, funnily enough, Mike.

2:48:18When I did this story, it was a question whether she's going to go back to jail or stay in rehab. And I've seen something come across the wire here that says she is staying in rehab. She is going to stay in rehab. Yeah, she's going to stay in rehab. Or maybe it said she's going back to jail. Don't really know. Yeah. So it's one of the two. 50-50 is pretty good. It's still pretty good. Kick ass. Kick ass. So that's good. It's either going to be jail or rehab for Lowen. And if you want to find out more information, I would log on to www.google.com. Type in Lindsay Lowen, jail or rehab. Or rehab. And then just see what comes up. See what pops up. Time will tell. And you'll be able to know. What about the FBI investigating this powder that got sent to a congressman in Arizona? Yeah, Reverend, I'm sorry, Representative Raul Grijalvalva says that the package. He was just ordained. Yes. He was just ordained. There was a powder and two swastikas inside the package. They were sent to him. He's an Arizona congressman. They're doing a full analysis of the powder. And it's the third security issue at his office this year. Really? Yeah. White powdery substance and drawings of two swastikas. That's not good. No, that's not good at all. They should have sent him to Sheriff Joe. What?

2:49:46There was a... Not a fan. Yeah, Woods does not like Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Big, giant clown. The world's largest domestic cat stretches over four feet long. Oh, my gosh. How about that? Right? Look real good on your new couch. Yeah, he's in Reno, Nevada, and he's a five-year-old Maine coon named Stewie. Yeah? Yep. He's 48 inches from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. Wow. Wow. This is hard-hitting news. Oh, Mikey thought I was going somewhere else. Yes, I did. That's one big. Top problems happening right now for California's hospitals, Woods. Never mind. No, I got it. Hang on. Just hang on. Hold your horses. I know you like the celery story, too. I really like the celery story, but there's a lot of problems, apparently, in California hospitals. All right. Well, listen. Bed sores or dicubitis ulcers, which I'm sure LLB has both of. I know. I'm sure. So, yeah, that's all bad. LLB has been itching the entire show long. Non-stop. Non-stop. She went to the dermatologist yesterday who determined that.

2:51:04She does not have anything wrong. No. She has nothing wrong with her. The results were inconclusive. Right. And by inconclusive, she means that they said there's nothing wrong. Nothing that they could tell. Right. And they gave you just a bunch of random stuff because they're like, I mean, she thinks she's got something. We'll give her something. Excuse me. I have a script. They gave me two prescriptions. But you will not fill them. But you're not filling. She refuses to put these creams on. Because God forbid you get. better. I'll just keep Googling. I'll figure it out. They can do whatever it is that they're doing with their degrees. I'll just figure it out. You guys got anything going on this weekend that you want to talk about? You going to do any gigs this weekend? I'm going to pop up on an open mic. I'm not going to tell you where yet. Whoa. Tipsy Crows playing ball on Sunday. I'm going to need some M1 support out there. I've not been hitting the ball very well. Bass string, you know who you are. I need you out there. He's my good luck charm. Every time the guy comes, I get like five hits. Yeah. Well, I mean, when listeners come out and support, it kind of pumps you up. Yeah, you feel a little bit better about yourself. How about you, Jay? I got two things. Right after the show, I'm going over to Riverwalk for the Mike McCarthy Memorial Golf Tournament. It's benefiting his kids, putting them through college.

2:52:16He passed away two years ago. And then tonight, I'm doing the Mighty Max K Benefit. It's a six-year-old who's, he had a brain tumor, and it was cancer, and it spread through the system. Family's already maxed out $2 million in care for him. So they're doing a big fundraiser tonight at the Seaside Market in Cardiff, right there in front of Rimmel's and Zimbu. There you go. And they've got a ton of raffles. Rimmel, thank you. And they've got a ton of auction stuff, so come on out. Sorry, I worked there. I know. There you go. Wow. End of the show on Friday, I tell you my story. And hopefully in my story, there's some of yourself. You can hear some of your story and mine. And maybe you can find hope from it. You know, that's really the main purpose of me telling you my story. Hope. I remember driving home sometimes from work. And I remember that I would try to think of anything I could that would give me hope. I'm going to get to see my brother who's coming in from out of town this weekend. And then there were other times in my life where I didn't have anything that I could think of that would provide any hope at all. I felt 100% completely hopeless. Didn't have any. And there are people that are listening right now that are in the same position. I grew up never ever feeling worthy. I always felt worth less.

2:53:48And has anybody ever told you that you are an angry person? That was me. I was just mad. You've heard me say that I think anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. I was all of them. I was hurt because I'd been hurt. Maybe you've been hurt. I was sad because I didn't have hope. And I was fearful for the same reason. Always felt that way. In my 20s, I started to drink a lot. And I thought that the drinking was making me feel better because it would numb me out. My early 30s, by the time I got to my early 30s, I was completely addicted to alcohol. I would leave the radio station that I worked at. I'd go to this bar and I would drink at this bar until about 1 or 2. Go home. Embarrassingly, man, I'd walk into this liquor store and I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed to the liquor store person.

2:55:11knowing that I was there every day and him knowing, just looking at me, knowing that I was an addict. Every day, sit in my car, take a deep breath, turn the car off, walk inside this liquor store and buy alcohol because I knew this guy knew I was an alcoholic. And then I'd go home and I would drink all day long and I would take pills to go to sleep. And then one night I asked God to help me and I asked him to change me. And he did. And it is this process that continues to happen today. I don't have those same feelings that I used to have. I don't feel hopeless anymore. And I want you to hear that in my voice. I don't feel hopeless anymore. I still have issues with insecurity. But they're nothing, nothing like they used to be. Because he transformed me. Now I have a family. I got a beautiful wife. Little boys. I still go through stuff.

2:56:40Like I told you earlier, man, my son got diagnosed with autism. The next day, my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Last December, I went through the hardest pain that I've ever been through personally. I went through attacks from people questioning my character. It hurt so much, but I got through it. I got through it because of Jesus. Man, I got to tell you the truth. I got through it because of Jesus. And I hope that that doesn't make you hurt, sad, or fearful. Because it's just true. I did. Jesus doesn't have a website. But the coolest church in the world that I go to does. I tell you because maybe you're looking for one. Maybe you're looking for that hope that you're here in me. NorthCoastChurch.com You can also go to MikeyShow.com if you're struggling with addiction. If you're struggling with depression, like I was. If you're struggling with eating disorders, like I've been.

2:57:52If you feel like a complete mess like I've been, go to MikeyShow.com and up on the very top, there's a section that says help. You click there. It'll give you all kinds of resources. This is a song I play. I've been playing this song for years by a band called Third Day and the lyrics to the song are so meaningful to me. The first time I ever heard this song, I broke out in tears because I needed to have hope. This song, man, this song is about hope. The lyrics to the song are about hope. Lovely and talented. Hillary is coming up next. Tuesday, our girl Sienna will be back. Just have a great weekend. We'll see you on Monday. Mikey shows out. Thank you.