The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/25/11
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
fantasy footballmark driscoll encounterbuzzword gamemichael jackson trialegg caretippinghalloween candydeidre hall storymark driscollbuzzworddeidre halldad story
The hosts kicked off with a heated fantasy football debate where Garrett snatched a player Woodsy coveted, leading to trash talk and dares. They then played a buzzword game guessing words like 'lose' and 'stone', and dissected the Conrad Murray trial in the Michael Jackson case. Lauren O'Brien undertook a week‑long egg‑care bit, naming the egg Herman, while the show also covered tipping percentages, Halloween candy preferences, and a nostalgic story about a dad’s reaction to a Deidre Hall poster.
What happened, in order
Fantasy Football Feud
Garrett snags a player Woodsy wanted, sparking a heated argument, dares to call each other, and trash‑talk about fantasy football woes.
Mark Driscoll Awkward Encounter
Mikey meets speaker Mark Driscoll at a Christian conference, ends up in an awkward photo with Larry after being told to pose sideways.
Buzzword Game – Lose and Stone
The crew plays the buzzword game with the words "lose" and "stone", shouting answers like "lose your mind" and "Stone Age".
Michael Jackson Trial Discussion
Hosts analyze the Conrad Murray trial, debating whether Michael Jackson’s IV use was foreseeable and referencing James Spader’s portrayal of the defense attorney.
Tipping Debate
The crew argues over appropriate tip percentages, ranging from 15% to 25%, discussing economics, service quality, and social norms.
Egg Care Bit
Lauren O'Brien is tasked with looking after an egg for a week, names it Herman, and carries it everywhere as a parenting parody.
Halloween Candy Talk
Mikey and Alex discuss whether to give full‑size or mini Halloween candies, weighing cost against kids’ preferences.
Deidre Hall Wallpaper Story
Mikey recounts how his dad reacted angrily to a bedroom wallpapered with Deidre Hall photos, leading to a family conflict over decor and respect.
People mentioned
GarrettWoodsyMikeyLauren O'BrienJayRebeccaMatt CommerceShaunaGaryJackie BattleCiroGarethLarryMark Driscoll
38,691 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Because our program director, Garrett, got a player in fantasy football that Woodsy wanted really bad. Call us, Garrett. Call me. I dare you. I dare you to call me. I dare you. He was like, Garrett, I wanted him. Six on the dot. I hit add. And I looked. Divine Intervention's got him. He got you. You clown. He got you. I hate you. I know. And Ciro got Willis McGahee. God dang it. Man. Wow. You guys need another hobby. Listen, for me, it doesn't matter. I haven't won one game in fantasy football. Yeah, I've won five in a row. I got a shot. Yeah, he's got a shot. And I got two running backs on bye week. Well. And Gareth's bi-curious and went and picked up my guy. Maybe, hey, ask Gareth if he's willing to make a trade. I don't want a trade. I had it. You're great guys. Give them to you. I'm so mad right now. 5-7-0. Are you sure? 194-9. Here he is. You don't seem mad. No. Hey, Gary. USOB. Jackie Battle is still available. I hate you. Jackie Battle. You're a dead man when I see you. This is great. Jackie Battle. Don't even come into work today. Don't even. Oh, man. Let me tell you. You know what? You don't need the help, dude. You're five and two. I'm three and four, and I'm on the rise. I've won two in a row. I don't need any grief. Hey, I've won five in a row. I wonder if... Going down, baby. Is this guy good?
Yeah, dude, he ran for 253 yards on Sunday. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he's a rookie from Oklahoma. He plays for the Cowboys. He's a beast, and he's starting. I hope he breaks his neck. He ran for 253 yards. Dude is a stud. Wow. I'm going to murder you. Garrett, you got on there quicker, man. I hit it right at six. Huh? You got to get up early and get rolling. What do you think I did? Early bird gets the wind. I was up at 3.30. You're supposed to be getting ready to go on the air. That's right. Yeah. You should have seen him. He was sitting there, Garrett. He was sitting there with his mouse. And as soon as the clock struck six, he hit it. And he goes, who's Divine Intervention? And I go, it's Garrett. And he goes, dang it, Garrett! Garrett! I'm so mad. Oh, it was hysterical. All right, Garrett. Thank you, man. Bye, guys. Lose my number. Oh, wow. I'm so mad. I can't tell. It's hard to tell when you're mad. Is it? 570-1949. I've never been so terrible in fantasy. You know, my fantasy football, the way that I've lost every game and with the lowest points every week is almost impressive.
I mean, it's consistent. It's almost impressive. You'd do better if you just forgot to set your lineup and stop making trades. I'll tell you how bad my team is. I played a guy this last weekend who didn't start a player. So basically, he literally beat me with one hand tied behind his back. And not just beat me. It was like... 116 to 34. Yeah, that was bad. What's your Achilles heel? What did you do wrong? Everything. Everything. His whole team. My whole team is rotten. The only two players that I have that are worth anything are Phillip Rivers and Antonio Gates, who has been hurt all season long. A lot of your players are just disappointment. Oh, yeah. Are they injured? Yeah. Any stupid moves. You've dropped them. Yeah, I've dropped guys that have, you know, been fantastic. You need to be revoked your ad drop privileges. Yes. Hey, man, it's worked for me in the past, but not anymore. You're dead, Garrett. You're dead. That guy, I did not know that somebody ran for 200. It's a beast. And 53 yards. He's a beast. Oh, my. He's a flat-out beast, and he's now the starter. I guess. After that.
I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm wearing a green shirt. That's Woodsy. He is one of the co-hosts of the Mikey show. And he's our sports guy. And he is, in fact, wearing a t-shirt from the premier baseball. League. Oh. Yeah. That is Woodsy's Adult Little League. It's semi-professional baseball here in San Diego. No. Right here in San Diego. Boys baseball. Shouldn't give people that just moved you the wrong impression. Yeah. Come out and watch some semi-pro. Yeah. What they do is they pay $150. They write a check. Some people do. Yes. And then they get to play at local high schools on the weekend. On the weekend. Sometimes middle schools. Sometimes middle schools. No middle schools. We might have practiced at a middle school or two, but we don't play there. That would be ridiculous. Now, it's important to be said that they, you know, don't necessarily give you all the privileges of the high school. That's why it's semi-pro. You don't get to use the gym to shoot hoops. Why would you shoot hoops if you're going to a baseball game? You can't use the locker room.
No, you don't need one. You don't have a restroom. You go behind the dumpster. You had to one time. Chula Vista High. You're welcome. Ah, I wouldn't admit the location. It was an accident. It had to be done. Maybe you unlock the bathrooms for your semi-professional. Accidents are premeditated, though. They sure are. Yeah, they are not premeditated in an accident. By definition. There he is. That's what he sounded like. That's damn close. We do have that sound clip now. Of the woman at the Beyonce show. Beyonce walking in front of all of her adoring fans. And one woman just, you could see, she was so excited. She was just coming out of her skin. And she could barely handle it. And then Beyonce put that microphone right up to her mouth. It's so good. It's so good. I watched that video a hundred times yesterday. I know. I was trying to figure out what she was saying. Is she saying you're amazing? You're amazing. No, no, no. Don't make me sing. Don't make me sing.
Oh, was she saying don't make me seem? I don't know. Because she was actually mouthing. And that's why Beyonce put that mic in front of her. It made Beyonce instantly go into hysterics. She couldn't even hold back the fact that she was laughing in her fan's face. Amazing. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., is the blonde girl sitting to my right. I don't know, the scarf, you have it tied in a very particular way. I've tried a different method of twistology, I believe it's called. It looks nice. Thank you. I believe I gave you that. You did not. I did not. It looks like the one. Can you just tell my name's Lauren? Nice try, though. You know. It was a lot like that, then. Yeah. No, you did not. You did not. He did give me a gray, one of those infinity wraps.
The ones that... Sorry, Lauren. Sorry. Well, he found it. He found something. I believe his daughter picked it up. Yes. Picked it up. Yes. Picked it up. She was walking through her college campus. Lost and found. And somebody lost it. It's the back of a bench, actually. Yes. He'd get great gifts up to lost and found. Just another tip from Jay. Oh, wow. Just the tip. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's mine. Yeah, that's mine. The brooch. You just go in vague. See that coach purse there? It's mine. I'm sorry. I must have left it. Let's see. Word of the day today. Oh, Jay is our producer and our frozen skinner is Growl. That's Growl. Today's word of the day is Temple. When you hear me say that, be caller number nine. Weird. And... Take the word of the day, Jay. Because it's a place of worship, I think. Hey, what's next tomorrow? Word of the day is psalm. All right? Is that it, Mike? Is that it, Mike? Concordance. How about revelation, Mike? Not the word of the day, Mike. Just use apostle and get it over with. Because we know you want to. How are you going to use that in a sentence? Oh, I'm sure you can. Oh, I'm sure you could. How are you not going to use it in a sentence? Anyway, caller nine.
We'll give you tickets to go see what I'm sure is sold out by now. If you got kids, it's that Yo Gabba Gabba Live, which every freaking kid in the world freaks out about, including mine. Except for Jake, who does not like clapping and cheering. One of the most unbelievably embarrassing and just weird moments of my life was taking Jake to Yo Gabba Gabba. last time and they start the show he's freaking out and we have to leave and he's crying so loud everybody's looking including our uh old program director shauna and i i couldn't have been more embarrassed because it's like she's looking at me she's like oh you huh
You with your crying child. Oh, great parenting, Mike. Yeah. Great parenting. Good job. Great parenting. Oh, I left and I was just like, could this, could things be? Are you kidding me? I mean, really? Are you, are you S-ing me right now? I mean, oh. Then you had a piece of toilet paper hanging off the back of your shoe. Yeah. And your pants split down the middle. Yeah. And then I stepped on a, some sort of banana peel. Banana peel. The old banana peel. Get you every time. Oh, look at that guy. Uh-oh. Mikey. I didn't know that butt crack anywhere. Anywhere. I know that corn slot anywhere. Coin. That's not what you said when you originally said it, though. You said... I saw a lot of Mikey's corn. Yep. You can't say it. Coin slot at the Mikey thought. All right. The longer Jay holds on to a line, the more flubbed it's going to be. Absolutely. Guaranteed. You just got to get it out there. You got to eject. That will help.
Went out in the World Series last night, Woods. Dude, it's getting good. Well, it's been good. It's actually been really, really good. Surprisingly enough, the World Series beat the NFL in ratings for the first time in forever on Sunday night. It probably had something to do with the fact that the Colts were playing. But baseball has not beaten football in a long time. And the World Series actually beat it in the ratings on Sunday. Why do you think people are excited about this World Series? It doesn't seem like... I think it was just a, what was it, 62 to 7? 62 to 7. Yeah, people like to maybe change the channel, but I don't know how TV ratings work. In fact, I really don't know how radio ratings work either. However, I know that the ratings were better for baseball than football, which, you know, I was listening to talk radio a lot last week, and they were saying, oh, dude, I'd watch. People were calling in this one station saying, I would watch. any football game over the World Series. Any football game. Well, apparently America didn't agree. And the Texas Rangers now have a 3-2 lead in the World Series, and they are poised for their first World Series championship ever. They won last night 4-2. Mike Napoli has got to be the best pickup in the history of midseason pickups. He hit a two-run double. He has been on fire. And you know what, man? The Rangers look poised to win it in St. Louis. There's two more games. They're both back to St. Louis. And it's...
It would be pretty crazy. I always think it's a bummer when they win on a... On a road? Yeah. In anything. It would be. It would be. But, you know, for the city of Dallas, from which I hail, what a year. World National or NBA Championship in a World Series is pretty solid. It's a pretty solid year. As soon as I leave. Weird. So Obama is doing something really good for people, homeowners that are underwater. His administration is going to revamp a program that... We'll help you refinance and should be good for a lot of people. Now, underwater homeowners who qualify are going to be able to do this at today's bargain basement interest rates, which is about 4%. That's awesome. Yep. That's pretty awesome. You know, the deal is that you got to be low income. All underwater homeowners are going to qualify for it. It's going to be about a million people is what they're saying, which is a fraction of the 15.3 mil that are estimated to be underwater. That's insane. Pretty much everyone I know that has a house, unless they've been there for a long time, is underwater. And we are because we put a pool in and all that.
All that beeswax. So anyway, that's the deal. About a million people. Obama, I think, is just trying to... He's got to do some stuff that makes him look rosy. And that's a good thing. Yep. It's going to help people. Absolutely. I went to a conference yesterday. And it was like a Christian conference where there's speakers. My wife wrote on her Facebook. Didn't even know she wrote it until this morning. Wife just doing bits lately. She just loves doing bits. Yeah, she's a good bit doer. And she wrote, a lot of people's husbands get excited about, what'd she say, sports figures? Sports figures and rock stars. She said, my husband, dot, dot, dot, theologians.
I pictured you coming home yesterday. When you get excited about something, you get excited about something. I called her. And I was beaming. I was beaming. I had such a good time. It was one of those things where I was in the moment and I was going, I'm really happy right now. I geeked out. Got to see a guy speak named Mark Driscoll. that I admire. For me, who would it be? Jeter. DJ. Just hanging out with DJ all day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd be on cloud nine. Yeah. Be Jeter for you. Wow. You're a Yankee fan. I can't imagine. Yeah. And I walk around the corner when I first get there, and the guy that runs the place, a guy named Larry, and he's walking with Driscoll. Now, you've got to understand, in the world of speakers,
This dude is a titan. He's one of the most downloaded people on iTunes. Wow. He's dynamic. Yeah. You look at his Facebook page, he's got... It's gnarly, the numbers. The numbers are crazy. He's a dynamic dude. He's a dynamic dude. And a bit shocking in the Christian community, too. You know, because he's edgy. He's very edgy. And he says that his audience is like dudes that are, you know, between about 18 and 34 years old. That's who he's talking to. And so, you know, he's pretty edgy. And so I turn the corner and there's Larry and Driscoll. And I'm like, you know, I'm just walking into a building and I do it real awkwardly. I know I look awkward. And Larry goes, Mikey. Like, weirdo. Yeah, that was me. So awesome. And so he goes, come here. So I walk over, like all, you know, oh, yeah, sure. I was totally dead that way. Hey, I didn't see you guys. I'm walking like the girl from The Ring coming out of the well. You know, just a dork.
Pop and lock. Yeah, popping and locking. Larry goes, I'm giving him a tour. You want to come? Mikey couldn't hear you. Are you all right? Yeah. Screaming. Mikey, what's your problem? Mark, I'm really sorry. This is Mikey. He does a local radio. I'm really, really sorry for this display. Usually a pretty cool, normal guy. Yeah, normal guy. He's actually a normal guy. Family man. Yeah, he makes his living talking, actually. Right. Got your tongue, Mike? Something I can do? Water? 20-minute tour. Didn't say one word. Wow. I didn't say a word. Nothing? Didn't say one word. Why not? You walked for 20 minutes? Oh, my gosh. Darn it. I mean, it just comes crashing right down around me. It ends it all. Well, in fairness to you, Mike, you did make a lot of stops. What does that mean?
It wasn't like you were walking the full 20 minutes. That's true. Here's this. Yeah, we would stop. We would stop. We would stop. We would stop. Catch your breath. Yeah. Sex or fat. That's it. That's what he's got. Those are his two things. Those are really strong. It'd be really bad to turn this story into sex, so he went with fat. So, I mean, just take what you get. Yeah. Just take... my joy and just, you know, you know those things that they, a wood chipper. Yes. Take my joy and put it right in the chipper. And then spit on it. And then spit on it. Once it comes out the other side. Dance on the remains. Mangle a little bit, you know. So I took a photo, took a photo, and in the photo, I don't, I've never looked so awkward. It's true. I've never looked so awkward. And Rebecca was laughing. And she goes, I know you. She goes, you were thinking in your head, do I look weird? Am I standing weird? Do I look cool at all? Because he looks pretty cool. Yeah, am I weird right now, the way I'm standing? You were turned weird. Yeah, why were you turned like that? Why didn't you guys go arm in arm next to each other? I don't know. You were standing like in front of him with your shoulders up.
Oh my gosh. And you had a dimple that I didn't know existed. The look on your face. It's like a little kid at Christmas. Mikey has a dimple. It was so great. Gleam in your eyes. You did have a gleam. It was awesome. I know. Now, there's been times where I've met people and they're really uncomfortable, which makes me uncomfortable because they're so uncomfortable. He must have been so uncomfortable. Like, get this guy away from him. In the balloon above his head in that picture, he's like, why is he turning to the side? Why is he turning to the side? Why is he turning to the side? Why is he turning to the side? Why is he turning to the side? Oh, wow. Why is he turning to the side? Oh, God. Oh, God. He's turning to the side. Oh, wow. Why is he posing? Why is he posing? Yeah. What's the matter with him? What's the matter with him? What's the matter with him? He called his wife. He's like, that's good. This one guy, a sleeved up guy.
He had his Cutlass t-shirt on, and he's like, we went to take a picture, and he just turned to the side and gave him the chin. Woods was making fun of me before the show, going, I saw that you picked your cute little Cutlass t-shirt. So you look up through your closet, and you're like, well, I can't wear that one. It says Lakers on it. Hey, they're Cutlass. Christian man, make this right. Just so he knows. It's not enough that I'm there with my Bible under my arm. I'm going to throw the t-shirt on, too. And that's only because I don't own a habit. I would be wearing a habit. Or a wooden cross. Yes, you know. Well, no. Oh, well. That would be a little extreme. Well, it was. Maybe grounds to kick you out. Oh, boy. I got weird right there. And I... Did some stuff that is pretty freaking fun. Oh, boy. Thanks, Wes. You're welcome. You're welcome. Let's see. Thank you for sending that picture, though. That was awesome. With the backstory, it makes it all funnier. It's so good. Can you post it, please? I'm embarrassed to post it. No, it's so good. I'm embarrassed. Nobody be mean.
I can't. Too late. Oh, really? No, it might have gone. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I played the wrong song. Sorry, I'm very excited still. I get to go back today. You do? Wow. Do you think he'll remember you? You gonna wear your red t-shirt today? How dare you? How dare you? I love you, dude. That's classic. That's classic. Take it like a man. I am. That was awesome. We got some great stuff coming up. We're going to do buzzword. You want to play? Oh, boy. 570-1949. You got to pick me, Woods, or L.O.B. That stuff's hooey. You got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world by the tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes.
On FM 94.9, the FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Past performers include The Black Keys, Phoenix, Spoon, Against Me, many, many more. This year's artist lineup and info will be revealed tomorrow at 10 a.m. on FM 94.9. As a matter of integrity, we offer free checking with no monthly service fees and free use of any ATM nationwide. As a matter of principle, we charge one of the lowest rates in the nation on USAA bank credit cards. And because we believe in being able to bank from anywhere, anytime, we offer mobile apps that make it possible to access your accounts and even deposit a check if you qualify. What makes USAA Bank so different can mean better banking for you starting right now.
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October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Do you run? You want to feast on something? And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that. That's fearlessraces.com. Hey, it's Mikey. And I just wanted to personally say thanks to a couple of my sponsors that I just really, really love. AIS Insurance and BMW Encinitas. I just really appreciate what you do and what you offer to our listeners. And I just wanted to say thank you to you guys. It really means a lot to all of us.
This report is brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. With Wawanisa's recent change in car rates, many San Diego good drivers could save even more by switching. Wow. Call 877-WA-WANESA or go to WawanisaUS.com. Well, we've got a lot of slowing this morning on the 15 southbound between 9th Avenue Center City Parkway. It's in the 40s, also the 15 northbound between the 5 and the 94. You've got real delays in that area. And it's backing up on the 805 southbound between Serena Valley Boulevard and 43rd Street. This report also brought to you by Jersey Mike Subs. Come into Jersey Mike's now for a great meal. Help them support Susan G. Komen for the Cure. For the Jersey Mike's nearest you, visit JerseyMikes.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94. And Woodsy's brother-in-law.
is going to be playing music tonight at the Belly Up. Yeah, it's actually Matt Carreri, Michael Tiernan, Megan Combs, Ryan Honeycutt. It's going to be a great, great night. Ryan is your brother-in-law. He's my brother-in-law, yeah. And tickets are still available online at bellyup.com or you can come to the box office. We're expecting a big walk-up crowd and bring an instrument with you because we're trying to get musical instruments in the hands of kids with special needs. It's awesome, man. It's a really cool thing. That's what the money's going for. Yeah. Please, please go down there. It's a good cause. It's going to be a lot of fun and great, great musical talent, man. Come down and see the kid. Okay. Don't forget the word of the day is Temple. And you'll hear it sometime between now and 10. And when you do, call her 9. We'll give you tickets to go see that Yo Gabba Gabba Live, which is probably sold out and probably has been sold out since it went on sale. So it's a pretty big gift. M1 LA Kings fan from San Diego. Who would you like to represent you in buzzword? Hollywood. Oh, boy. There you go. Hang on. Up next, M1 Mick from El Cajon. Who do you want? LLB. There you go. It's a good choice. And finally, M1 Edward from San Diego. Are you there? Yep.
You got me, but I'm feeling good today, so who knows what's going to happen. We're playing for the new Batman Arkham City for Xbox or PS3, the most anticipated game of 2011. Here's how this goes. Jay will give us a word, then after he gives us a word, he will give us a hint, and we have to yell out what the answer is. It'll have the word in it. What's the word? Today's word is lose, L-O-S-E. All right, so whatever hint he gives us will have that word in it. Insomnia. Don't lose sleep. I'm going to give that to Woodsy. Lose sleep. Lose sleep is the answer. Good call, Jay. Uh-oh. And so it begins. Use it. There's L.O.B. Although Woods was still screaming over her. Just random things. Fall out of correspondence. Lose that! I'm going to give that to Mike. Oh, my God! Woods ever come on.
Yeah. Would you ever cheat? It's lose, right? Yes. Here we go. Go crazy. Lose your mind! Who said lose your marbles? I said mind. I said mind. I said mind. Oh, then. Lose your marbles! Lose your marbles. Too late. Oh, come on. I said it. I'm going to turn my headphones up a little louder then. Here we go. It's called a hearing aid. Don't cover that. It's okay. You get one of those horns. You know? It's a ram horn. Yeah, funny. That is an interesting voice, Jay. It's identical old man. Nice. Here we go. Get sidetracked in your mind. Lose focus. Get sidetracked in your mind. Lose yourself. What's mine? Lose your thought. What's mine? In a mine? Get lost in a mine! Get sidetracked. Fall in a will! In your mind. Lose your train of thought. There you go, L-O-B. Lose. Lose, you clowns, not lost!
Can we have a different word? No. Please. Win some. Lose some. L-O-B. I didn't even know we were starting. B-A-S. That was ridiculous. Get angry. Lose your mind. Lose your temper. There you go. Mikey got it first. He did. About an hour before you said it. I didn't hear it. Become not hungry. Lose your appetite. You're so ass. I'm going to say it was a tie between Mikey and Woods. I'll give you that. Because it was. The score is Mike three, Lauren three, Woods two. You snooze? L.O.B. I am going to. We need a freaking judge in here. There's a judge right here. He's blind. He's not blind. He's a clown. Not much risk. Nothing to lose. Nothing to lose. There you go.
I love you. What are you doing, Woods? You're making me a good one. New word, new word, new word. A new word. What's the new word, Jay? New word is stone. Stone. S-T-O-N-E. Stone. Stone. It gathers no moss. Strolling stone. Woods there. Technically, he said strolling stone. Oh, you did? No, I said rolling stone. Okay, there you go. Diddy. Strolling stone. Starring. Starring. Starring. Starring. Sharon Stone. There you go. Oh, wow. Did you give me a point for the last one? Yes, creep. Having no money at all. Stone broke. Stone broke. The stone broke is the answer. And you both got it tied. Oh, my God. I never heard of that. Have we both said it? It had to be. Stone broke. Stone poor. Here we go. Try to kill two birds.
I'm going to give that to L.O.B. You son of a bitch! He just threw a thing at protective glass. You're just louder. You're just louder. I started first. She started first and you just joined in and screamed it. It's his tactic. Host of Dateline. Snow Phillips! Oh, I forgot the word was stone. Me too. I was like, lose somebody. What's the score? It is Mike five, Woods five, Lauren six. Okay, I've got a couple of two-pointers here. Oh, God. I'm going to do it right now. He directed the film JFK. Oliver Stone! Dang it. There you go. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That drove me crazy. You were so quiet, I almost didn't hear you. Focus. The earliest known period of human culture. Stone Age! I'm going to have it to LLB. I'm not a liar. Roll the tape. Is that it? That's it. Oh! Oh, I get hosed every time. Oh, I hate that game. Just bent over. I've lost the wilderness. I feel like Jodie Foster and EQs right now. That's how I feel. I got it. Yeah. Oh, really? I have to. I have to. I have to. I have to. Damn it. I have to. Remember when we agreed? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.
Right now, right now, people just heard the delay, the dump button hit. Wow. Because it was, understandably. Furious. Understandably. Understandably. Yeah, for the last one, I beat her. You did not beat her. You screamed after she started. Roll the tape. You always start after us. Do I? Do I? Do I? Do I? You do. M1. M1 Mick from El Cahom. Broke my hand. Guess what? What? You're a winner. Happy birthday. L-O-B. I stayed calm this time, and I guess it paid off. Must be nice to be a female and have a creep for a judge. Oh, so that's it. Because Jay always sighs with me. Yes, always. I'm always on. He always does. Ever a poor sport? Yes. Hang on the line. 570-1949 is the number. Gosh darn.
That was normal. That was a good one. It's tough, man. It's a tough game. And it doesn't help that... Your judge works against you? Yeah, that Jay cannot see. I can see and I can hear. My vision is perfect. He doesn't need to see. All he needs to do is hear. This is the prosecution and the defense going at it in the Conrad Murray trial. This is the Michael Jackson trial. He's being accused of murder. and they were going at it over an expert's testimony on the IV drip. Is it your opinion that it was entirely foreseeable, if you believe Conrad Murray, that that was a risk of harm that Michael Jackson could self-ingest? He's leading his witness. He's an expert. Just interpose the objection. That guy doesn't sound like he's irritated at what the other guy's done at all. The objection is overruled. 8-0-1, you may answer.
In your opinion, based on the medical standard of care, is that an absolutely foreseeable risk? Yes. Was this one of the IV setups that you showed? Yes. I believe so, yes. Is this the IV setup you said was used for an infusion pump? Designed for an infusion pump? Is it designed for an infusion pump? Just a moment, please. Wait a minute. Please. Please, please, please. What's the objection? Grown up. Little kids. Oh, yeah. We are all, every adult listening right now, we're all grown-up little kids. As evidenced by buzzword. Yes. Yes. Those were, that was three grown adults, one of which is 41 years of age. True story. One is in his 40s. And we were going at it like we were seven. Misstays the testimony that he said it was used with an infusion pump. Sustained. The answer's stricken. Disregard. Re-ask. Is this designed? Wait a minute. Please, don't interject. It's an objection. It was Seacoast, not Suncoast. So the record's clear. All right. No, that wasn't smog at all. It was Seacoast, not Suncoast, okay? I'm only asking you to get it straight. That's all. That's all. Okay? Do you understand? I'm not trying to...
manipulate the jury at all. I'm just asking you to open your ears and actually pay attention. James Spader as a defense attorney. That's right, yeah. So anyway, they were going through that. Oh, and then there was a... How creepy, by the way, is the fact that this guy had an IV at his house? So creepy. It's really creepy. Well, then the fact that he wasn't ill? Yeah. And had an IV at his house. To put him to sleep. Dude. Strange. You take a half an Ambien. Yeah. Just go to sleep. What happened that you couldn't sleep? Where does it turn from like, I've been sleeping really well lately. Well, where does it turn from? See, I was thinking the other way. I was thinking, where does it go from, man, I can't get any sleep. Like, I mean, I'm having, I got the insomnia. I need an IV. Yeah. Seriously. I need the stuff that they use for surgery. Probably like he took the little kids out of his room. He probably couldn't sleep like he used to. You know what, Woods? You know? You know what? I always maintained, we don't know. We don't know. We know they slept over. We know that. But I would always maintain, we don't know. There were photographs that were released when they went into the house that revealed a bunch of weird stuff. One.
Nobody was allowed in his bedroom. Nobody was allowed in his master bedroom. And the reason nobody was allowed, the reason that he gave, was because things would go missing. And he didn't want that. And so nobody was allowed in the bedroom. The bedroom was a pigsty. But most of the rooms were. But he slept in a guest room. That's where he would sleep. And there was a chair. across from the bed that had a four foot long rectangular picture of a baby on the chair. Now, the reason that they assumed was because he, you know, he loves little kids and he loves babies and he has such a thing in his heart for little kids that as he was drifting off into his propofol, you know, slumber, that was something that was nice. It wasn't one of his kids? It's just a random baby? Yes. That's weird. There were framed photographs of random babies. That is weird. That is weird. I would give anything for about a two-hour walkthrough and free reign. It's an open drawer. I would do anything. Don't just walk around, see what you find in there. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Is it the fame that drove him mad because...
There are a lot of famous people. Well, he had a lot of issues and abuse in addition to. Crazy. I mean, an amount of fame that I don't think very many other people have seen. Probably the most famous. And from what age? Seven? Eight? How old was he when he was singing ABC? He was a little-ass kid, and then his dad is awful. His dad's crazy. His mom's covering stuff up. His sisters are nuts. His brothers are nuts. Well, even as a... Late as the 70s, though, you hear from people that knew him in the 70s and they said, 70s, he's all right. He was okay. Early 80s, he was okay? Well, you know, the thing is, is that that album, what was the thriller? It was a cult thriller? That album had, I think every song on it was a number one hit. And so that must have done something to his head. I think it was right after that when he began his like... No, I think he had a nose job before that, but he began the series. Oh, yeah. That was, by the way, that was one of the things that was in the house. Bleaching cream. It was a cream. The fire had something to do with the downfall, too, and he caught himself on fire. The Pepsi commercial became odd after that. He felt like he was disfigured. Right. Really? Oh, yeah. I did not know that. His soul glow hair caught on fire. Yep. It was gone.
Well, anyway, I forgot where I was going. I had something. Something about the trial? No, no, no, about Michael. Having an IV in his house. It's pretty weird. Yeah, the whole thing. 570-194-9 is the number if you want to give us a call. Lindsay Lohan is going to appear in Playboy. Now... Oh, wow. That's strange. Where are you at? You with me? No, I'm with you. Thank you. I'm kind of with you. I'm kind of weirded out by her now. I still want to see, though, don't you? The purple hand and the teeth getting all kind of crunchy. I still want to see, though, don't you? Well, I want to, yeah. They do good work. I already thought that Lindsay, I felt very sorry for Lindsay. Her teeth look yellowed and brittle. which is usually a sign of drug abuse. And so that made me sad that she's just no, I mean, nobody can reach her. She's one of those people that just refuses. She's not willing and there's no part of her and not even consequence. Because a lot of, you know, I'm recovering alcoholic. People will write me an email and they'll say,
How do I get my brother to stop drinking? And I say, you can't. You can't get your brother to stop drinking. Although what I will tell you is what makes people stop drinking is consequence and pain. It's, you know, that's what makes people. And so what a lot of times, like what my dad did, my dad said, I won't have a relationship with you till you quit drinking. Wow. And at first I was mad. Oh, yeah. But then. I had to go, man, I'm actually a person whose dad stopped talking to them until they quit drinking. Like that's who I, that's me. And I was like every day I had a look at that. And so I quit. I stopped. But Lindsay, A, needs money. We know she needs dough. And so who knows how much they're going to give her to do it. But I can't imagine it being normal. You know, what are they going to do? Are they going to make her teeth white through... Do you think they will? Yeah, they'll sex her up. Or will they exploit her? No. Nobody wants to look at that. No, they do fine work over there. They've been doing fine work for a long time. So you say they're going to airbrush everything? Oh, absolutely. You can do a lot now. She's so... Dude, did you know this? How extreme this girl is? You know how we reported last week that...
She had to go to probation, and she was late. Yeah. And so they turned her away. Yeah. You know when she showed up the next day? Three hours early. And brought food. She's three hours early the next day. Maybe she's learning. Three hours. That's another extreme. It's weird. It's like, dude, be here at 9. Okay, get there at 845. Get there at 830. At 830. Yeah. Three hours early. Maybe she left to throw off the paparazzi or something. Maybe. That could be. That could be. But I think Woods makes a good point. It's so extreme. Yeah. You're just all over the place. And you know what? I'm sorry, but showing up somewhere three hours early, that's an inconvenience too. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. It is. It's either way. It's so, she's such an odd bird, but I look forward to the spread. I won't be seeing that. I know. Does your wife get? No. No. She didn't care? Playboy? He's looking. He's not touching. I'm just looking. I ain't touching. Yeah, he's not touching. It's just Playboy. Yeah. Your wife's got them. Your mom's got them. My mom's got them. Well, I know that. It's beautiful. Playboy's beautiful. It's art. That bit. The art bit. It's art. Hey, you've got to stand behind the art bit. Yeah, you've got to get it. Now listen, if it's some other magazine, you've got to beef. But Playboy, it's art. Beautiful women. When has Playboy ever been considered art? Always. A nude? It's art. It's artistic. What's artistic about it? We all have it. It's the female form in its most beautiful. Yes, the curves. Habitat. Shadows. Freddy Eagle.
They don't do that in Playboy. No, they do not. They don't do that stuff. What are they doing? Just nude, standing there. Standing there, making some soap bubbles. They don't do that gross stuff. I don't know if I'd call it art. It's art. It's art. It is an art that's a bit men use to manipulate their wives. Prove that it's not art. Yeah. Okay, you masturbate to it. No, never in Playboy. Not since I was 13. Right, because now you guys have worked your way up. Yeah. That the only thing that'll work is imported Japanese, you know, weird anime. I know. Anime. That was good for me. Michael Moore is something else. And I got some audio of him being something else. Weird. And I will play that for you next. And the farming babies were slaves out working. I think that people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football.
Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4, San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4, San Diego. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again. because the majority of those companies actually work for the credit card companies, and they make the credit card companies a lot of money from people just like you. But there's another way out of debt, and it's not bankruptcy, a way to reduce your debts and save you thousands of dollars. Even better, you can find out how for free by calling 1-800-700-6617.
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Prince Harry is dating a hottie from San Diego. Yeah, she is. And she has a tattoo on her side. And I don't know what her name is. I don't think they put it. Oh, yeah, they did. Jessica Donaldson. She works at a hotel in San Diego. I'll have to ask Meryl if she saw him with her at the belly up. I believe that's who was with him. I did a little recon yesterday on the girl. And that's who was with him? Yeah. They were smooching, apparently. She is a cocktail waitress, and he is stationed with the British Army. I can't figure out. He's stationed here? Yes. Training. Army training. He was out in El Centro or something. That's what I thought, too. I thought he was up north. Somebody knows. Somebody will call us. 570-1949. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about a... Really boring Monday night football game last night, but first wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by Dave and Buster's Eat, Drink, Play Football. Wasn't a lot of play in football last night on Monday night. Everybody expected a big blowout by the Ravens over the Jaguars, and the Jaguars won. They actually beat the Ravens 12-7. What's a Jaguar? Jaguar, what is that?
I've found a word. I've found a word. The jaguar. There's only one word. How do you say it? It's the only word I've ever heard you ever in the history of Woodsism. Jaguar. Jaguar? Jaguar. Jaguar. The Jacksonville Jaguars. No. Jaguar. Jaguar. I say it the same way you do it. Woods, Jaguar? Hillbilly. I've never heard you. What? Hillbilly. He's an English major. Jaguar. I've never heard Woods do that. What did I say? Jaguar. Jaguar. I say it the same way as Woods, even though I know it's Jaguar. Jaguar. Easy, French guy. That's it. Feast. Jay, how do you say it? I say Jaguar. What? That's exactly how I said it. Say it again. Jaguar. No, say it right. Say it real. Say it real. Jaguar. That's exactly how I said it. It's wrong. Jaguar. Yeah, it's wrong. Jaguar. Yeah, there's no wire involved. So, uh, feast. M1 Stella from San Diego. Are you there? Jaguar. Yes. Uh, Stella, what was the word of the day? You are correct? Yeah. Jaguar. Oh, you can't quit. Jacksonville Jaguars. Is that not right? I say it, too. I know. I'm so late. There's going to be a hundred of them. Damn it.
Jaguar. Hang on the line, Stella. It's the only word that's going to ever get you because I've never heard you do it. I'm going to start calling him Jacksonville. Yeah. That's all you're going to get. Jax. Yeah. Jacksonville. All right. So Michael Moore told CNBC how to do their job. He is out on the streets at what? Occupy Wall Street. Of course. Now, you think that Michael Moore has any money? Yeah. I think he's in the 99% or the 1%. Yeah, because if you make over $500,000 annually, you're in the 1%. No, he's a 1%er. And so he's on television, he's looking at the monitor, and they're running the Dow Jones Industrial Average along the bottom of the screen on the ticker. And here's what Michael Moore says.
And if I could just very respectfully ask you and CNBC, you know, you are in there. You are journalists. It is your job not just to report that the Dow is up 95 points already today, but to go in there and find out what's really happening. Who's making this money? Who's dividing this pie up so that the 1% get the majority of it? That's really the story. That's the story your fellow Americans want you to do. Absolutely. They want to know where their jobs went. They want to know where their future is going to be. That's the job of CNBC. Yes. So please do your job. Please. Okay, Michael, you're right. We'll start with you. You'd like us to identify who these people are. We'll start with you. I'm sure you make over $500,000 a year, and so that would put you in the 1%. You know, the people that you're demonizing. Right. The people that you are rallying against. You're protesting. You're protesting against. Well, it's you. Where do you keep your money, Chubbs? Oh, wow. Where's your money kept? Oh, that was mean. I thought you were talking to me for a second. No, I'm just kidding. Clown. Let's see. Have you passed any of the weird rules that your dad had, Woods? Like, do you do it?
I do the light bit. I'm kind of psycho about the lights now, which I never really used to be. But when you start paying bills, you start turning the lights off and kind of freaking out if there's lights on. How about you, Ella B? Well, I don't have a family. It's just me. But we had some weird things in our household. I wonder if I'll pass them on. Probably not. Probably not some of the weird ones, but like the password bit. I'm probably not going to pass that one on. What is the password bit? Like a family password for usually like sometimes it was for collect calls. You wouldn't say you'd say the password that meant that you needed a ride home from school. So you would say this is a collect call from Liberty Bell. Yeah, or I'd say come pick me up and try to fit it in. But then they became like keen to that. So you had to say a name and they would reject the come pick me up. There was a password for that. Password for like getting into the door, like into the garage door. He had to do the password with the shave and a haircut bit. What is the shave and a haircut bit? Yeah, what in Chinese? You don't know what shave and a haircut is? No. Shave and a haircut, two bits. You know. Are you guys speaking Mandarin? Shave and a haircut, six bits. Are you guys for real? You both are kidding me, us right now. You got together before the show. That's what that's called? That's called shave and a haircut? Yeah, it's the name of the knock.
Shave and a haircut. Something, something. It's two bits. Two bits. Which is, what, a quarter? 50 cents. How do you guys know that? How do you not know that? I've never heard that. Me either. I've read a lot of books. I've never heard that. Shave and a haircut? Shave and a haircut. Two bits. And when you did this as your password, did you have to sing, shave and a haircut, two bits? I had to do the two bits part back, like on the other side. You'd stop. Yeah. So it would sound like this. Yeah. That would be me knocking on the two bits. I think anybody would figure it out, though, when you stopped. Well, it was that with the password. Yeah. With the password. What's the password? I can't tell you. It's a password. Are you nuts? It's the same one. Yeah. You can't tell me now? Tell us the password. No, it's the family password. 20 years ago, though. They still use it, and my parents still use it. They still use it? My parents. Even if I was like, it's me. Let me in. They'd be like, uh-uh. What's the password? I love the password. It explains a lot. It does. What else does it get to, the password? Besides entry? Nothing. Really? Breakfast? But you've got to guard it that closely. What? Tell us, please. No way. Can we pay? No, it's also part of my password for almost everything online. $100. No. No.
I can't do that. It's not mine to give away. It's a family password. You can give away your part. Oh, yeah. You have a price. No. $1,000. $1,000. There's no way. $15,000. A Samsonite. A Samsonite full of hundreds of bundles. I'd have to call my parents first and say, are you guys willing to change all of your passwords? So everybody's password is this. I don't know what my siblings' passwords are, but ever since I've required a password, so my first day of college, it's always been a part of it. The human mind works in such a strange way that we have to know. I got to know. Can you tell us off the air? No. Us? No. We're family. You will not tell us. You won't tell us? No way. Only family knows it. Oh, that will try. I thought we were family. I thought we were family, but apparently we're just coworkers. Yeah, I guess we're just coworkers. New England clam chowder. No, it is lying. Our family has a password too, but it's like passwords we use because we often know everybody's password to get into different parts of our, you know, whatever we're doing, whatever. What is your... I can't tell you.
I can't tell you what our password is, but it's like they use it for their, whether it's their email or. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we all have it. And we all use part of it. Why don't you all have your own password? Because my parents, I wouldn't even know what their password is. I wouldn't even think what it is. Well, because when they need to get into or they need to update a program on the computer, there's a password on there. I don't have kids. We tried to adopt a kid and it fell through. So we don't have kids. Oh, gosh. What's out? Yeah. So I really don't. We don't even have a need for a family computer in my home. Mine is... No way, Jose. So I'll remember it, because I don't have a family either. Well, yeah. I just have a laptop, and then my wife Jamie has a laptop. We don't have any kids, so we don't have a big family one. But almost every online account you have, it'll say, you know, every so often you have to change it. So mine is always a derivative of the original password. Wait, wait, wait! Maybe someday if I have a kid, I'll use his or her name as my password. It's killing me! It's killing me! Fake kid. That hurts the stuff when you do the... If I had a husband... Share it with him. Yeah, or you could do your new last name. Yeah, it would be like an open-door policy. Right. But we'll see. Does your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, is he awake when you make these jokes and hear you make these? Yes. Oh, wow. Yes, we were at the wedding this weekend, and someone kept referring to him as my husband. Oh, my God.
Matt said, oh, you must be from out of town, because if you lived in San Diego, you'd know our entire relationship. Oh. That was his bit. Passive-aggressive. Real passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive minus the passive. Yes. Oh, my. I corrected her, like, 17 times. I was like, just boyfriend. No. Not even fiancé. No, no. Not even fiancé. Not living, either. Not even living together. Had you had any cocktails? No. Not at that point. Maybe I had one. Later you did, though. Sure. Later she definitely did. Name three judges from American Idol. Uh-oh. Come again? Name three judges from American Idol. It's like wine. It gets better with age. Oh, man. Yes. In two months, it's going to be... Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is legendary. You're going to go, that is the most legendary... Ooh, wow. You're picking up the tannins now. I'm sort of getting a really nice finish there. What is a swashbuckling movie franchise starring Johnny Depp? Happy birthday to you guys. Oh, yeah.
What federal agency maintains the U.S. border at the Canadian border? That's my working page, so I will be clearing that out. Zero percent. Put a lock on it. Just like you've given my stuff. Put a lock. They get approved, though. What is the name of the federal agency designed to aid Americans during disaster? Americans. It's, it's, it's, yeah. It's leftover spaghetti. Yep. It's, uh... It's leftover chili. The second day it's better. It's when they bring out the dessert and it's like impressive looking. You know, those kind of desserts where they're tall and they've got just molten lava running down, chocolate running down the side. My husband and I will go home and laugh about that later. What is the name of the movement that has protesters down at City Hall? On our fan page yesterday, they were practically begging. Our M1s. were practically begging us to make a soundboard. Oh, yeah. That they can just... Hello, what's your name? Sarah. Sarah, how old are you? 32. And Sarah, how many drinks have you had tonight? Who's Sarah? What's your name? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. What's that? What's your name? Wait a minute, though. What's your name? It's delectable. It's so good. Let me tell you how good it is, L.O.B. It's...
taking your index finger on the side of the bowl, and you're just, you're pressing as hard as you can because you don't want to miss one little... Name three judges from American Idol. My favorite. It doesn't get better than that one. What about the one where she screams? What federal agency means to the U.S. border or the Canadian border? Oh, my goodness. I love it. If you hadn't heard that yesterday, if you didn't hear it yesterday, our good friend L.O.B. went to a wedding and had to do some work at the wedding. Her assignment was talk to some people that have had a couple of drinks. But I was not talking about her. And she texted me and let me know, hey, I got the audio. I got it. I got it. So no worries there. Yeah. I did get it. And it's good. It's good. It sounds, it's not over-modulated. No, it's perfect. I do have the audio. There is this one thing about it, though, that I just want to kind of throw past and see what your thoughts are. And we can kind of, you know, spitball what your thoughts are on this one. But I did have a couple of drinks, you know.
I just want to know, Mike, if you're... Name any state that borders Florida. And I said, well, you learned your first lesson in the dumb drunk dare. You must be sober. And she wrote back... Rutro. Rutro. What a brilliant response. Oh, yeah. Yes. I can't get mad at Rutro. You can't. I can't. Well, you can't get mad at that. Are you kidding? It's... To be locked in Fort Knox. It is to be locked in Fort Knox. American Idol? Yeah. Name three judges from American Idol. Oh, yes. It's so good. I want just...
American Idol to be the ringtone. Absolutely. Somebody's calling me and it's American Idol. This is going to get added to the list of things we can't talk about. Oh, no. Never. Well, you only got a couple weeks. You only got a couple weeks. Why does Woods and... Well, because we put our balls out on the line a year ago. Hey, by the way... A year ago? Yeah. You just brought up a great point. I didn't realize how close we are. We are close. At the Monday after Thanksgiving, we get to... For that day, go crazy on each other. Yeah. We all have these things. We all have these things that are not to be spoken of. Right. Yes. But the Monday after Thanksgiving. We can have at it. The gloves. Gloves are off. Gloves are off. Yeah. Now, for me, it's a humiliating, humiliating group of letters that I wrote to a girl. That I still have. Yeah, they're right there. LLB keeps them close. They're at an arm's length. Yeah, they're at an arm's length. So that sometimes if she's feeling down, she can just look at it. Yes. And it is. It's mortifying. It's mortifying. L.O.B.'s is Santa Baby? Because I never dated her. I never dated the girl that I wrote those things to. She would never date me. I can't wait to hear Santa Baby. And then Santa Baby is L.O.B.'s. Which was just, it was and still is the most brilliant thing ever. It's delightful. So delightful.
It was her recording herself in a bathroom for only her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, to hear. Yep. And let you guys hear it. We begged you. We begged. And you stomped all over it. Oh, yeah. We begged you. Just like you're doing with my drunk audio. Your drunk audio is gold. You must recognize it's brilliant. It's fantastic. Brilliant. It's great. Then we get to talk about Jay, the noise that he made when he saw pictures of his daughter. Yes, that will come up. But we can't discuss it now. Can't. Ragged edge. And then for Woods. Ragged edge. You know that old saying? The ragged edge. The ragged edge. Yeah, you're on the ragged edge. Immediate isolate. So Woods, and then Woods' deal. I don't know what you're talking about. Woods' deal is when he talks to a... Was she underage or was she... No, she wasn't underage. She was 19. I thought she was at a high school, no? No. Yeah, high school girl. She wasn't a high school girl. Weren't you at a high school when you got the audio? No. Your wife were delving in a little bit too much to this. I know, but weren't you? We talked about what mine was. Is it the ragged edge? Did you try to get that to catch on, too? My man? My man? My man. It's unnatural. Well, I'm not going to imitate it or anything. She wasn't at a high school. I thought so. I can't remember her name.
Uh-uh. We can't say any of it. No, we can't. We're not allowed. But what happened was the whole reason that Woods was embarrassed, and I mean, he was embarrassed to the point where when we would play it, when we played the audio, he would actually rip his headphones off because he didn't want to hear it. It skeeved him out so much. It makes me sick to my stomach. And what it is is he's talking to this girl, and it was one of your first assignments. Yes. That was the other thing that was so great about it. It was one of Woods' first assignments. he started to talk the way that she talked. That's all I'm going to say. That's all I'm going to say. Awesome. Can't wait for that day. Jay, you must put a lock on those LOB things. I tried to work on it this morning, but I've got to get in there and spend a little more time. Why do you need to work on it? It's all right there. Because I can't play MP3s in that studio that I'm in. You've got to lock them down. But they're in the system.
It doesn't matter. I can't play them from that one system. And they got to be, I mean, password encrypted. Yeah. I remember when I was at the other station, they secretly recorded Shannon Leader. In our building, there's a guy named Kimo that works here, and it's Shannon's Kimo's wife. And she used to do the midday show over at the old station. They secretly recorded her, the afternoon guys, BC and Woody, secretly recorded her singing. And they would play it and she found it and she deleted it because she found it in the system and she deleted it. Well, they had to go through the most painstaking process of going through this machine that tapes everything on the radio station. And they found it and they had to move it around.
Because she kept deleting it and deleting it. Oh, my gosh. She would find it. She'd find it. I'll give her a call. And they had to keep deleting and keep deleting. And it was like a game that played out over the course of years. That's hysterical. Yeah, and she would say, I guarantee you're not finding it this time. And they'd find it. Oh, I love it. Let's see. We were on the unusual rules that we had from our parents that we've passed on to either our kids or we just do it. That was something that drove us nuts, but we find ourselves doing it. I wonder if I'll share a room with my 36-year-old son when I... Take him to New York to a Yankee game or something. Well, Woodsy, you either go one of two ways. You either hate it so much you go the exact opposite way because you're like, I don't ever want to do that. Or you do it. I'll do it. I'm positive I'll do it. You will do it. Yeah, I'm positive. Be like, what? Share a room. Yeah. To my dad, there was no bigger crime than leaving a room with a light on. The other thing.
That would drive my dad. And I mean, this would put him into a fit that would scare you. And that was not drinking the entire can. Oh, Mrs. Jamie R. Woods. Two sips in the fridge. Oh, yeah. That would, my dad? Makes me nuts. Yeah. Cold flat soda. Yeah, delicious. There's nothing over it. Like, it's cold. It's flat. Well, for us, it wasn't even, it wasn't that. It was the can was left. the can was left there. Yeah, and if you poured it out, he'd be fine. He'd be fine. He'd kind of be a little upset that you left it there. Clean up your trash. Clean up your trash. But if my dad saw a can of Coke and he walked up and it was half, and we left it there, oh, man. There's going to be words cast. You know, it made my dad nuts. Nuts. If he was in the living room watching TV and I was up in my room watching the same thing on TV, it made him...
Insane. Why? Two TVs running at the same time. So why don't you just come down here with me? I want to watch in my room. Made him nuts. Really? Nuts. Oh, my God. Three TVs on, all with the same thing. That's what we heard growing up. I'm not kidding. Oh, wow. Did you have any TV stuff, L.O.B.? Our house was big on TV rules. We had a lot of TV. No TVs in the room for the kids, and I'll keep that same rule. Heck no. No TV in the room? For the kids? Why? No. Why? Because you're going to watch what I supervise that you watch. That's a good idea. I don't want you in your room watching TV when you should be sleeping. Till what age? Till they move out? Yeah. Oh my. Go to college, you get a TV. Oh wow. See, because I was allowed to have a TV when I was like turned 14 or 15. What do you need a TV in your room for? Just to watch TV. There's a family room. Is it basement? I want to watch SportsCenter, baseball at night. You want to watch, you know. Happy birthday when you have your own house. You can watch whatever you want. You want to watch Gilmore, girls. Is that what they say? Your parents? No, that's what I'll say. Wow. Oh, man. She's going to have some rules. You don't need TV. No. Get on the internet and find out the scores. Oh, boy. That's fantastic. Do you know there is a new standard for tipping that I seriously did not know?
And most of you listening right now, you don't know this. But I'm going to tell you. And the reason I'm going to tell you is because you don't want people spitting in your food. FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With our Teachers Are Heroes program, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM 94.9. And tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes. Made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California, and FM 94.9. There are times when a race is such a close call, it requires a photo finish to determine the victor. In the race for best luxury sedan, let's see how the BMW 7 Series performs. It has a considerably lower starting MSRP than the Mercedes S-Class. Consider thousands less.
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Buy tickets now at the scream zone dot com. I did not mean to do that. Jim, Jim, you don't mind me saying so. Your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. It's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like slicing torsos like carpaccio and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. Ah, and the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I gotta try alternative energy. Function Alternative Energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function Alternative Energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. It can strike at any time, and you can't see, smell, or taste it. It's carbon monoxide, a gas that can poison you if fuel-burning appliances in your home malfunction.
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This report, it's brought to you by San Diego Chargers. Chargers fans, there's still a chance to bold up. You can pick up your tickets for the Chargers Final Four home games by logging on to chargers.com or you can call them 1-877-CHARGERS. Some backup this morning in Escondido on the 15 northbound. The ramp to the 78 westbound, there's an accident here. That left lane's blocked. Two-car crash, it's on the transition. Five northbound at Claremont Drive, an accident over on the right shoulder. And the 56 eastbound after Black Mountain Road, an accident. This report also brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Struggling to pay your mortgage financial assistance with no repayment required? It's available. For information, call 800-954-KEEP or you could visit KeepYourHomeCalifornia.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. Sir Shed with the FM 94.9. Thanks, Sir. For a Tuesday morning brought to you by Guayaki Urbamate. Starting off a little better this morning in terms of overall weather and surf, for that matter. Partly cloudy skies, actually seeing a little sunshine for the first time in quite a while. Light and variable winds. Surf's starting to show a little bit more. That southwest is filling in as expected, slowly but surely. A little bit of a west-northwest joining it as well. Big deal, though, is the backing off tide right now.
Tide goes real high, dropping off to a negative low. That will affect size and shape at all areas. Look for ankle-knee waist-high waves on average, maybe a rare plus. Beach breaks being more surfable now at those higher tides. Some of the soft-facing reef breaks improving later in the day as the tide drops out and the swell fills in. Low winds right now, looking fairly clean. Water temp is up there in the lower 60s, so that's actually a bit warmer than it was a few days ago. Not a bad morning for a go-out if you haven't been out for a while. I think I'm going to hit it. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for surf for repair restoration needs, Joe Roper's the man down on Marina Boulevard. The Ethnic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Yeah, this is the night. Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Say what? On FM 94.9. Inebriated is my favorite. How low inebriated, you have to admit.
It's hilarious. Oh, boy. Stop it. I like this picture here. Yes. Suzy was sick of being a bridesmaid again. A little girl pouring a bunch of champagne for herself with a sour lip. She's like five years old. That's identical L.O.B. Facebook.com slash Mikey Show if you want to see these pictures. New tip amount. Is 25%. Nope. Sorry, Jay. You don't get a vote. I do get a vote. You don't. Trust me. You get 15 to 20% of me. What a cheapskate. Oh, a cheapskate. You are a cheap. What a cheapskate. Really? So I'm going to tip 25%. Yes. To go out. A quarter of your meal? Yes. No. Times do change. Times change, pal. Really? Yes, they do. No.
Oh, they don't. No, they don't. Times don't change. The new bid is 25%. No, it isn't. It is. Not only is it, but... I've been tipping that for years. Where do you find this written? Where did you see this? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Richguys.com? No, it isn't richguys.com. Don't you belong on that website? You and Michael Moore? I'm a member. You're the president. I'm the president. Here's the thing. At fancy restaurants right now, sometimes they're putting it in. They're building it into the check. Happy birthday. You chose to go to a fancy restaurant. Yeah, I'm not going to go there. Well, guess what, though? It isn't just the fancy restaurants. Regular restaurants now, the bit is 25%. 18. I have no problem with that. 18! No, no, no. Woodsy, Woodsy, the cheapest people are servers. Cheapest people are former servers. I don't give 18. Servers are cheap. Well, then why did you say 18? 18 is the standard bit that the restaurants write in. 20. No, they don't. They write in 18. Oh, on a party of... Six or eight or more. Six or more, whatever. I give no less than 20%. Okay, good. Unless she's a total B. Yeah. In which case she'll get 18. I still give 20. I still give 20. I don't have the... 25 for a great service. No, that's... What's the incentive there? Yeah.
Oh, I don't know. Your job? Yeah, do your job and you get more incentive. The tip is to say, hey, you know what? You went above and beyond. Yes. It's not guaranteed. Thank you. It's not guaranteed. Or you did everything you were supposed to. If you just do everything you're supposed to and you meet the standard. That's like saying, it's like. If you sneeze and I just look at you and I don't say a word, it's just what you do. It's what you do. You say bless you. It's why I don't walk up to Mikey and just kick him in the balls as hard as I can. It's a common sense and a grace. Courtesy. Common courtesy. It's common social grace. Why isn't it worked into the salary? Why is it just built in? It's discretionary. You know why? Because it isn't. But it's a part of our culture. It always has been. We can all pretend that we get to do what we want. But if you do it, okay, but you're a jerk. tables, and when I was a turd on a table and they gave me 20%, I felt guilty about it. I was like, gosh, I can't believe they gave me 20%. I just sucked. You are the same guys who say we shouldn't give trophies for just letting anybody play. It's the same thing. I'm just going to give you the same, even though you didn't perform. That makes no sense. It makes absolute sense. No, it doesn't, because one is a game, the other one is somebody's job. Yeah, their job, and they're not doing their job correctly, so they make less money. Wait a second. Now listen, Jay, if you forget to load a piece
of audio, do they whack it off your salary? It's not that. No, they don't. It's not the same thing. It is. It's their job. You can be a complete jerk. There's servers out there that are complete jerks sometimes. As long as I get my stuff and they say, yeah, can I take your, as long as I get what I need, I'm giving you 20%. And what do you even mean there, complete jerk? Like, what does that look like? Attitude problem and then like being like. Couldn't that be our perception though? Like, we're perceiving it, but we're just, you know. Customer service. Yeah, what can I get you? They just look at you. Customer service just means being polite or just being adequate and getting things done. If you're going to be inadequate and then also be a jerk, sorry. Can I get a refill? Can I get a refill? Can I get a refill? You walked in the door, and when you walk in the door, you're basically making a silent agreement. The agreement is, I live in the U.S. And our bit in the U.S. is we tip. It's not true. Not true. Well, okay. You have a choice. Okay, but the consequence is... Nothing. It makes you a bad person. No, it doesn't. There's no consequence whatsoever. I mean, it takes a lot for someone to do that. And I will go out of my way to help the server. I'll be like, hey, is everyone ready to order? I'll collect everybody's menus. I'll stack up the plates at the end. I'll say, hey, guys, she's taking drink orders. Is everybody...
Does anyone else need anything? Well, Ella B., when you say that you would feel guilty, how would you be bad? Like, what would, you know? Completely forget to get things for them, neglect them. Like, leave them sitting there for, like, 15 minutes and be like, oh, my gosh, I forgot I had table seven. And that's happening. Now, that's the only thing that makes me kind of... I still give her 20. I still give her 20, too. If she doesn't come over and say anything... Because I feel bad for her. You're letting her down. You have to acknowledge it. Oh, my God. You're letting her down. I'm not there to teach her a lesson, dude. I am not there to teach her a lesson. You're helping her train. Sure. Jay is dad. It's sales. You've got to incentivize people. I'm here to teach you, young lady. You better take good care of me so you get my... $4. No, it's sales. Everybody in the sales department should get the same thing. Yeah, just get the same commission. Everybody gets the same commission. Hey, I know you didn't do very good. You didn't make enough calls. But it's a part. It's just part of it. Everybody is guaranteed. L-O-B and Jay, aren't you two worried that, okay, so she's a jerk, right? Yeah. Or he's a jerk, and you don't give a good tip. I never give a bad tip. Okay, give 18. Just not a good one. Yeah, give 18. All right. Now, Jay would. He'd give 15. I'd give 15. All right. I'd give 15. I'd never give 15.
Have you made a conscious decision to not go back to that restaurant? No. Go right back in. Well, okay. Fine. Guess what? Enjoy that pube. Yeah. Enjoy that pube or enjoy that spit or enjoy that. Yeah. Duh. No. You guys know they do that. No. No. People do that, though. Yeah, they do. They do not remember every single customer. They remember the bad ones. No. They remember the jerks. You do the level of certain. If I've waited on somebody before that's given me a 15% tip or there's been plenty of people that just don't come in and they'll give. No tip. Then guess what service they get if they sit at my table again. But I wouldn't spit in their food. But you know that some people do. That's up to the, okay. You have standards. Some people don't care. You send something back to the chef. You're done. Now you're in trouble. Then you're done. The servers are not the ones, I mean, most of them. That's good to know, by the way. Don't send stuff back. Just need it. Question. Question. And I would love, and phone lines are blowing up, but you know what I really want to hear from too? Is I want to hear from Chef Guy. And I'll tell you why. If I order a steak, medium rare, and it comes out and you cut it and it's gray all the way through. Or if I order a steak, well done, and it comes out and it's blood. Like, why are you mad at me? If they've made a mistake, I've seen that they'll be mad at themselves. But if you ask for something.
and you got it the way that you want it, and then you change your mind about it, then that's when they get mad. Then they drag it across the floor real good. Yeah. I just tell them I don't want it anymore. What about this? What about when you say you order an enchilada that comes standard with guacamole, and you say, or, excuse me, sour cream, and you say, can I get that with no sour cream, by the way? And it comes out with sour cream. Are they mad back there? Yeah. No, they're mad at themselves. They're mad at themselves. They're mad that you, like, made a special order. Right. And that they had, and they were, like, too much on autopilot that they did it. But they're not mad, like, ultimately, they're like, ugh. No, I don't think so. Okay. More than likely. Places that have worked that do that, do it anyway. They don't care. They're just doing it to be obnoxious. M1 Dan from Carlsbad. Oh. Hi. Hi. I actually manage a restaurant, and I think that the reason that they're kind of transitioning to 25% right now is with the tough economy that we've had, a lot of restaurants have dropped their pricing over the last year. So for the same work, the check averages have gone down. I think that's why they're looking to keep the servers whole at a 25%. Isn't that the same? I don't think, man, and that's a good thing to know because I didn't realize that the prices were going down. I didn't even know.
You know, I didn't even recognize it. Everybody's offering specials on different days and trying to do something to put themselves apart. Not some of the higher-end steakhouses and that, but the mom and pops to keep the doors open. A lot of competitive pricing. And the server's making a big chunk of it. I think that's good to know. Here's the thing to throw out there. Thank you, Dan. Thank you. That Dan brought up. When there's specials or you use a coupon or something like that, you should tip on the original price. No question. And I hope everybody knows that. Yeah. A lot of buy one, get one free type things. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 20% off your meal. You should be tipping on the original amount. Of what it was. Of what it should have been. Or what it would be. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because she's still doing the same amount. He or she is still doing the same amount of work. Like a gift certificate. Oh, yeah. You have a $100 gift certificate to Outback. And the four of us go to lunch. And it's $140. So all we had was $40. You need to tip on 140, not 40. There's coupons out there where it'll say buy one entree, get the second one free. You still tip on what? Two entrees? Yes, because she's still putting the order in for two. She's still bringing it to you. I agree that that's fair, but you know me.
You ain't thinking of that. I'm not thinking. That's why I'm putting it out there. It's a public. That's a good idea. Public service announcement. M1 Gender Nuts from San Diego. Are you there? Yes, I am this morning. You are a pizza delivery guy? Well, I used to be a pizza delivery guy for my second job. And I was wondering how you guys feel about the tipping standard for that. Because people would stiff me and say that the house clicked a delivery charge. And, you know, they felt that I would get that money. But I was driving my car with my gas, my insurance. by wear and tear, but people will give me like a dollar or two. You get a special person to give you like, you know, hey, it's Christmas out here. It's 50 bucks. I got a mansion. Majority of the people, you know, be nothing or two bucks. You know, now, okay, so Rebecca and I sometimes we'll have family over and stuff and we'll order some pizza and get some wings and stuff like that. And the number 35. sticks out of my mind. I know that a lot of times that bill's about $35. And I tip $8. That's great. Is it? Yeah. I would have given $5. Eight's a good tip. Eight's right? Yeah. It's a good tip. I can't, and I'm not good with math. Ten's better, but eight's a good tip. Eight is actually over 20%. Woods, ten is irresponsible. It's not irresponsible, man. Not if he's a guy that comes to your house all the time. If you're doing that,
You are a bad steward of money. Well, seriously. You take care of those that take care of you. How much money do you have in the bank? Poor management. You take care of those that take care of you. How much money do you have in the bank? I have enough. Do you? Yeah. Poor management. I have no debt. None. Zero. How much debt do you have? I have none. Not one nickel. Well, I don't, but I have no debt. Nothing. M1 Jason from San Diego. How you doing, guys? Good. I'm a chef. And I own a restaurant now here in San Diego. I'm just calling to defend us, man. I've been in the business for 15 to 20 years. Not once ever seen anybody spit, drag it across the floor. Is that a myth? It's not a myth. I've never actually seen the spit or drag it across the floor. It's a myth. It's not a myth. I've done it. It's not a myth. You've done it. It's at Hudson's Grill. Oh, my gosh. Low-budget places. Yeah, it was a low-budget place. It doesn't happen in the high-end places. It doesn't happen in where you eat. I didn't do it to be mean. I did it on accident. I did it to be mean. You did it? I've done this stuff on accident. I did. I had a whole fat box of chicken wings, and I dropped them on the floor.
Now, they were going to go in the deep fryer. Right. So I deep fried them and then I served them. That wouldn't bother me at all. They were frozen hard. The accident or like what I have seen done is like, oh, gosh, they ordered a chicken parm. Well, here, take this. Like, take this one that was supposed to be for somebody else. But it's like probably been sitting there a little too long. But I've never actually seen spit or dragging. Can I ask you this, L.O.B.? Yes. What about would you? OK, tell me if they would be mad at this. I went to a place and ordered. lo mein came in the, you know, the paper, is it paper? Yeah, the Chinese container. Container. And I opened it up and there was a long, I would say seven inches, seven to eight inch long black hair. It wasn't a bad hair. It was a, from somebody's head. And Had it been smaller, like let's say it was like half an inch, I would have taken it out, I would have wiped it on the counter, and I would have gone my merry way. I would have. I wouldn't have cared. But it could have been from the nether region. No, I would have recognized it. Okay. I would have recognized it. Based on the curl. Oh, gosh. You know, I've had to hit the dump button on you today. Come on. It's tread lightly. Based on curl.
Curl, right, Ma? Oh, God. S-shape. You don't help, I love you. Try to corkscrew, Ma. Anyway, so I pulled this long, giant, you know, head hair. And I said to the guy, and I actually said, I go, hey, dude. And he looks over and I go. Oh, my God. You just hold it up? Yeah. And he goes, oh, wow, sorry. Luis. Damn it. Now, would they be mad at that L.O.B.? No. If they had found it on their own, they probably would have removed it and said, now, who did this? You guys got to be more careful. If you brought it to their attention, they would be embarrassed. Okay, they're not mad at me. No. Both that you found it and they didn't notice it and the fact that it was in there in general. As long as you don't raise a stink, you're just like a cool guy. No, I was very cool about it. Because they would think like, ah, accidents happen and that's gross. I'd be grossed out too. Yeah, I find stuff in food and it doesn't bother me. I found an eyelash in there. I don't care. It didn't bother me. I'll move. I just take it out. It turns out how hungry I am. It's kind of gross, but, you know, it just... I can't do human stuff. Really? I found like a screw and been like, eh. Yeah. That's fine.
Are you serious? Yeah. You're cool with a screw in your pasta, but not an eyelash. Or like a cap. I found like a cap to like a sauce before. Stuff like that. Oh, my gosh. Stuff that happens, but when it's... A thumb. It's a fingernail? If it were that, I probably would never be able to eat that dish again. A toenail. What about a toenail? Oh, my God. How does that make you feel? M1, Mark from Poway. Hey, Mikey. Hey, I just wanted to remind you there are people out there that do have the gift of generosity. Right. It's not a bad story. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey, man. I am a generous person. And I mean that. I'm a generous person. Very. But I believe that when you're just, you know. When you're throwing money around willy-nilly. That's such BS, dude. That's such BS. And to call me a bad steward of my money because I spend two more dollars on a tip than you do, I don't buy electronics. I don't buy anything I don't need. I do not live above my man. All right. You also say all the time, dude, I don't have any money. Well, I live in San Diego and I don't make a lot of jack. Okay. Well, then don't spend $10 on tipping. Doesn't that make sense? Doesn't that make some sense? I never come here and say I don't have any money. I always pay my bills. I have no debt.
I don't have extra money to buy cameras, to buy dirt bikes or $15,000 bikes. You know what my luxury is? Copenhagen Long Cut is my luxury. That's all I buy. But this is also a fact about you. And iTunes. But this is also a fact about you. Concerts. There are people out there that have been servers. that want to return that. Absolutely. Hey, dude, I used to be a pizza guy. I was a pizza delivery guy. You can't do it every... It can't be your standard. 25% to 30% just can't be your standard. It is. It always has been. I mean, I just think it's... Always has been. Always has been. I look at it for my mom. My mom's the same way. Now, Woods, you say that your luxury is Copenhagen. Yeah. Now, here's a true fact I believe about you, and I may be wrong, but I believe that if you were a millionaire, it wouldn't change. If you were a millionaire, it would still be Copenhagen. There's nothing I'm interested in. You just don't like stuff. You know what I like doing? I really like giving people a good tip. Ask my wife. She's like, really?
Freaking 25%, this guy wasn't that great. I'm like, yeah, the guy's busting his ass. He's got 50 tables. He needs it more than I do. That's my point. I go 20%. They make pretty good money. I go 20%. He probably needs it more than I do. You wanted it more than I did. M1, Stephanie from Vista. You there? Oops, sorry. Go ahead. I'm a former waitress, so I'm coming from that perspective. But I think 25% is ridiculous because... Well, first of all, it's not a standard because nobody knows about it, so how could it be a standard? Right. And then second of all, 25% is ridiculous. If prices have gone up, hourly wages have gone up, why should tipping go up? Prices have gone down. Prices have gone down, so tipping has to go up. I disagree with that. But the guy owned a restaurant. He said they're lowering prices. One guy.
One guy, yeah. So it's long. So he's the one. He's the one guy in America that goes, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to lower my prices. He's the only guy. Everything else has gone up. Do you guys really believe that, that he's the only one? I haven't noticed. I don't go out to eat that often, but I haven't noticed a decrease in the cost of goods. M1 Nathan from Poway? Yeah, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. So I was at a little burger joint in the mountains, and I watched. An old friend of mine that I hadn't talked to, he spit in my burger for some reason. And I ate it anyways out of spite just because I didn't want him to win. And I was hungry. That'll teach him. Oh, my God. Some friend. Old friend. The guy spit in your burger. And to show him you ate it. Just looking at him. What would do that?
Yeah, I probably would. We totally do that. I probably would. Just to get you. Yeah, like, I don't care. Looking you in the eye the whole time. Yeah. I watched him turn his back to me, and I watched the spit drop. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Talk to my dad next, Dancing with the Stars. Yes. He said to me, Mike, I don't know what, why do you want to talk to me about it? I said, because, Dad. Your 75-year-old guy watching Dance with the Stars, that's just interesting. He's gold, by the way. He's gold. He's gold. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell me the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com.
Shut up! More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Bass performers include The Black Keys, Phoenix, Spoon, Against Me, and many, many more. This year's artist lineup and info will be revealed tomorrow at 10 a.m. on FM 94.9. Looking for a quick, delicious lunch? Try Olive Garden's new panini sandwiches. For just $6.95, enjoy a half-pressed panini and pair it with your choice of one of four unlimited homemade soups or fresh salad, both with all the warm breadsticks you want. Choose from three great panini varieties, like grilled chicken caprese or grilled steak and portobello. It's our $6.95 half panini lunch, here for a limited time, weekdays until 4 p.m., only at Olive Garden. From my rock star daughter to my soccer star son, every California family is made up of strong Californians. And to keep mine California strong, I choose Yoplait.
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Nobody want to go with me. Lauren. I'm a control freak. If I watch other people do things that I'd rather do, I'm like... Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. Hi, and welcome back. I have a picture. There you go. Pens in my wall. Is it? An image of you and of me. And we're laughing with love at it all. Ireland. Look at our lives. Should I? Are we? Are we? Uh, okay. Should I? I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's LLB. That's Jay. And it's Crowl. That's Crowl. I'm defeated. LLB got him earlier. Almost made him cry. Yep. Did I? Yeah. He's suicidal now. Oh, please. He can handle it.
Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? Hey, Lauren. Sorry. I just got lightheaded. I just got lightheaded. I just got lightheaded. I had to turn my back to her. I know. I know. He played them earlier, but he played them while people were talking, so no one heard them. Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? Sorry, Lauren. Sorry. It's kind of brilliant. We have my dad on the line right now. Hi, Dad. How you doing, Mike? I'm good. Did you get to watch Dancing with the Stars last night? Yeah, I sure did. It was quite a program last night. I kind of enjoyed the infighting and everything else that took place. My dad loves Dancing with the Stars. He knows a lot about it now because he's been watching it for years. Now, I told you, Dad, I don't watch it. So when we do this review every week, I don't understand. So you got to keep that in mind. I don't know.
these people. Mike, is your dad a good dancer, would you say? Apparently, him and my mom used to dance in contests and win. That's awesome. Didn't your parents do that too, LLB? Yeah, same thing. Yeah. So my mom and dad are good dancers. That's cool. And every time my mom hears any song recorded before 1990, she will say, oh, we used to dance to this song. Right, Dad? Yeah. Mom always said, oh, we danced to this. Gladys Knight and the Pips. Oh, yeah. That's a big one. That is a big player in the Esparza family. All right, Dad, so who was good last night? Well, you had about three people I thought they were really good. One was Nancy Grace, and Ricky and Derek, man, they just were really on last night. They were on one. Let me let you hear Nancy Grace arguing with her partner. I know what you're doing. What am I doing? I asked for more dramatic and difficult choreography, and you're trying to put so much stuff packed in that I'm going to f*** it up. Is that what I'm doing? Yeah, I think you might be, actually.
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Why would I put something? You probably already have a backup plan, so when I screw it up... No, hold on a second. We've got to this point in the competition. All you've been asking me for weeks and weeks is to make it more dramatic, make it better. You're trying to add so many of these in so close together that I will absolutely screw it up. And you go, I gave her what she asked for. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Dad. Yeah. Is that true? Do you think he was trying to sabotage? No. You know, some of the... The dancers have got to keep their mouth shut and listen to the instructors. That's what I say here on the show all the time. And so a solo, you know, a solo just can't keep quiet. A great instructor. I have you know that I make a living keeping my mouth open. As a former prosecutor, easy, Jay. Yeah, Jay. Easy, Jay. Easy.
And TV's Nancy Grace. You know, Nancy is kind of chunky. I resent that. She's got real cute legs and she's got some nice moves. Can you hear her talking to you, Dad? Go ahead, Nancy. It's like I have nice stems, both my appendages. But I did have twins. I'm working it off. Didn't know. And I think that little Irish jig dancer. It's trying to sabotage my success. He doesn't want me to become bigger than him. Oh, wow. No pun intended. That's impossible. That's impossible. He is a little light in the loafers. All right. Dad, who else was good? Well, you know, J.R. is just a dancer, man. He just gets out there and does his thing. And to me, you know, it's kind of like the best they have in there. He loves J.R. He loves J.R. He's got the perfect moves. My dad is all about J.R. and feels that JR is going to win the whole thing, right? Yeah, I think he's probably going to be at the very top. All right, let me hear the judges talk about JR just for a second. Keeping on. There's a guy over there, Elio, who I remember dancing a quick step that I thought no one would ever come close to. Tonight, you have really come up a notch. I tell you what. Thank you.
What you've done, you've created a rip-roaring, audience-rising, 11 o'clock number that makes the show a hit. It's a hit. There he is. That guy have multiple personality disorder or something like that. That guy got something. It sounds like he's got something wrong with him every time. You jiggle it. I like that. I like the heat that come off of your body. And I feel like every time you are there, and I mean this metaphorically, it's like I want to make love to you. But only in the metaphoric sense. Not for real. Don't I? All right, Dad. Listen, we appreciate it. Who got kicked off? Who got kicked off, Dad? I think it's going to be Chaz. That's tonight. He tried so hard, but he just...
He's not a dancer. Not a dancer. You've got to give him a lot of credit for everything he's done out there. He's not used to leading, I don't think. No, he isn't. And so that may be part of the problem, right? Yeah. I thought what was really kind of interesting was when Max and Hope Solo got into it with the judges, you know. And that was really kind of exciting. I did not much care for the... Broadway songs. They just weren't doing a lot for me. Some were having trouble with him, but I thought that J.R. picked the right one. Hey, Dad, are you sad that Carson is no longer on the show? Yeah, I liked him. I thought he was kind of a real performer and he added to it, but he also had a real bad day the day that he danced and he got kicked out. There you go. Alright, Pop. Thank you for your review of Dancing with the Stars. I love you. I love you, too, and the rest of the crew. All right. Thank you, Dad. Thank you. I love you. This is my dad commenting on Carson just a few weeks ago. And, I mean, he's totally gay, and he's very positive. Yep. I love it. Different time. Yeah. From a different era.
And I mean, he's totally gay and he's very positive. He's the best. He's the greatest. I love that guy. He's the man. You got to get Godfather 2 just to see my dad scene. Yeah, nurse. Nurse. Nurse. It's the greatest. It's so cool. I want to see it. I'll show it to you at the break. I got it. It's great. He sounds, it's identical dad still. Yeah. He still sounds just like that. Yeah. Me good. Me good. Okay, so I think we have, yeah, we do. So check this out. We're talking about LOB and we're talking about the fact that LOB does not have a child yet, but at some point will, wants kids. And so we were wondering what kind of mom she would be. So we decided that we're going to do the old bit from high school. She's got to take care of an egg for a week. Exactly. Exactly. Exciting. Exciting. Excellent. Oh, my God. You guys are good. Egg you guys out. I'm exhausted. Oh, my God. I can't. I'm wracking my brain. All right. I can't think of anything. You should get some exercise. Exercise. Lost in there. What is this? An exorcism? Give me one example. Oh, my God. So good.
There's got to be a game where you do that. That's all I got. Well, anyway, so check it out. If you haven't heard of this bit, what they do is she's got to take care of an egg for a week. It can't be out of her sight. Nope. It's got to be like a baby. Like a little baby. If you see her, you better... Make sure she's got it. We want to know. If you see L.O.B., you've got to say, hey, where's your egg? I'm going to be out in public today at the Starbucks in Kearney Mesa selling newspapers. And you better have your egg with you. I will. Times are tough. Man, times are tough. I'm doing it for charity, for Radies. That's nice. Now, one week from today, next Tuesday, we check in with the egg. Yeah. And there is no resolution. In fact, we said, well, this is a great bit, but what happens at the end? She takes care of the egg. It will be exactly as when you gave it to me. Will it? How do we know? How do we trust her? Let's write on it. Okay. Yeah. I have my egg. See it. It's brown. Just down to one. Weird. Weird. Yeah, Jay. Just down to one. It's so symbolic. Oh, boy. When we first met, we didn't do that. What should I write? Put woods or feast. Wait, wait. Let's name him. What are we going to name him? Herman.
Make a face on him. Herman? Draw a face on him. Why Herman? I'm going to take a picture. Why Herman? You can write Herman. Because it's the name. Woods, why don't you wait until we all sign it? Yeah, Woods. Or, you know. That's a good call. Yeah. That's probably accurate. Accurate? Accurate. What should I put? Make a face. Tebow. I know, but we got to. Oh, my gosh. Put Tebow number. What's his number? Five? Put, like, a passage. Yeah. Psalms. John 3. You're a monster. You are all monsters. You're all monsters. Okay. I don't know what to put. I'm going to put burrito. Enchilada. Driscoll. Cutlass. Red. Excellent. I'm just going to put my name.
Oh, boy. What should I put? I don't know what to put. How dare. How dare. How dare you. How dare you. I don't want to break the egg. The Mikey catchphrase. Please don't break it on the board. Oh, boy. Do you think that J.R. and Bill, our chief engineers, would be upset if I busted an egg into the board? Oh, yeah. We should wait to tell them. All right. Come here, J. You're next. Which catchphrase will he put on there? And why Herman? I don't know. I just like the name. Well, what's it going to be for Jay? Get some. Get some. My man. My man. Boy, he wants my man to take off so bad. I have to try. What did you try this morning to get started? Ragged edge. Ragged edge. Ragged edge. Aren't. No, it's not. You. Trying. You can take that Coachella bracelet off now.
That was in April. Are you kidding? That was in April. That can't be true. It's true. Let me see. That was in April. What's the deal? What's not the deal? What do you mean what's not? You'd be different. I'm being different. Yeah, but this is like a... It's like a movement. Yeah, they put that on you because... It's like a movement. Wasn't that to get into the venue? It was at the time, yeah. You keep those hospital bands on there too, like when you get surgery? Just wait until they fall off. He still has his belly button thing with the umbilical cord attached cell where they put the clamp. Exactly. It's weird. All right, so Ella B. Yeah, I know. I saw him do that. He turned the egg upside down. His head's bigger. That's the way your chin's... Your head's bigger and he goes down to a small chin. Well, not all of us. M1 Roshak from San Diego. No, no good with Herman. I say we go with Ballin. Ballin. Hey, we found Ballin. Has anyone seen Ballin? There he is. Ballin. Ballin the egg. It's Ballin the egg. Ballin. Yes. Ballin. I love it. Can I write Ballin on it? Baby Ballin. I'm going to write Ballin over his head. Dude, great call. Just Ballin or Baby Ballin? Baby Ballin. Baby Ballin. Baby Ballin. Thank you. Good looking out. Now, L.O.B. Yes. You got to really, you're going to drive with that mofo? Yeah, what am I supposed to do? Car seat. Car seat. Egg seat. Egg seat.
Cup seat. Yeah, a cup. You've got to go to Eggies R Us and you've got to probably get some kind of egg seat, you know. Do not leave him in the car. Yes. It's hot. What will happen? He'll cook. He'll cook. His little head. So you can't leave him in the car. You've got to bring him inside. I need like a baby Bjorn. Hey, at nighttime, L.O.B., no leaving him. At nighttime, he's got to come inside. All right. I think that even at home, so that we know, I think you should take pictures that... He's safe in bed. Yeah. You know, or his, you know. Okay. I'll do the Chronicles of Baby Ballin'. Yeah. I'll make it like a baby book. Yeah. Take pictures. Yeah. Everybody needs their baby book sometime. Maybe I should do the same thing. Yeah. I was nervous handing it to Jay. Yeah. Oh, I'm well. I can handle babies. I know. I was nervous I was going to drop the egg. I like that he's brown. Weird. Weird. He's light-skinned brown, so that makes sense. That's right. Like who? I need Mexican jokes. I can do that because you're my friend. Right. That's right. That's the rule. The rule is that if you have a friend that's Mexican, you can make Mexican jokes. If you have a gay friend, you can make gay jokes. If you have... Black friend like me? Yeah. In some cases, your only black friend. OBF.
You're OBF. You can make all kinds of black jokes. All right, so next Tuesday we reconvene with... Baby Ballin. Baby Ballin. He already has a home. Yep. Let's take a picture of him. Yeah, yeah. Aw. Take a picture of him, post it on the Facebook. Let me do the honors because I'm the mother. Yeah, it's your kid. It's your kid. Yeah. Or I could because I've got an 8 megapixel on my phone. That won't be necessary. It won't matter. Because I got the 4S over here, you know. Oh, boy. Are you trying to write that off? She's getting the first... What about my shadow in it? I'll get it. That means that... Summer's going to be longer this year. Exactly. So cute, that little baby ball. Thank you. Oh. All right. Done. Baby balling. All right. Good luck. Here it is. That's the last time we'll see that egg. Are we taking odds? Yeah. Let me see. Oh, wow. How well do you think she'll do? I wonder if she's really going to give it her all.
I am. And really going to take him everywhere. That's what I worry about. I will. Seriously, if you go into a mall. I'll photograph myself with him in all different places. If you go into a mall, no leaving him in the car. I don't go to the mall. Well, if you go grocery shopping. If I go to like Whole Foods or something? Yes, when you go to get alfalfa. When you go into the herb fields. I would be surprised if she makes it out of the studio today with that egg. Oh, stop it, Jay. She can be clumsy. She is clumsy. Give me a little bit of credit. You can be clumsy. Oh, my goodness. It's my chance to prove to everyone that I can be a good wife and a mother. All right. First things first. Mother and a wife. I am giving it away. I didn't say it. Oh, I know you didn't. Even when she says it, it's... Doing the preemptive bit. Yeah. I didn't get to read you that email yesterday that I know is going to set some people on fire, but I'm going to tell you when we get back. And it has to do with giving candy to kids for Halloween. We'll see where... Take your temperature on this when we get back. She says...
The Mikey Show. Be a part of The Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out this week. Wednesday night, Manchester Orchestra's at House of Blues. Friday night, Amanda Palmer plays the Birch North Park Theater. The Lemonheads are at Soda Bar Saturday night. And that same night, you can see the Nervous Records and Republic of Letters at the Casbah. The Damned hit House of Blues November 1st. Wild Flag plays the Casbah that same night. And Minus the Bear are at Soma November 2nd. November 5th, it's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival at Liberty Station. Matthew Sweet, The Stone Foxes, Telekinesis, and a bunch of great bands. And City and Color Play, House of Blues, November 8th. And still to come, Company of Thieves, Strung Out, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Dinosaur Jr., Pinback, Wilco with White Denim, Nata Surf, and Mute Math. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com.
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Choose from three great panini varieties, like grilled chicken caprese or grilled steak and portobello. It's our $6.95 half panini lunch, here for a limited time, weekdays until 4 p.m., only at Olive Garden. This report is brought to you by Pro Nutrients. New Pro Nutrients, a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. Well, we've got an accident on the 15 northbound at the 78. This car hit a pickup truck. Also, Paula Temecula Road southbound at Aruba Road. It's an accident here. It's a car that hit the side of the road. That southbound lane is blocked. They're waiting on a tow truck there. The 805 northbound between Balboa Avenue. Governor Drive pretty slow this morning. And the drive-thru Escondido is tied up on the 15 southbound between the 78 and Center City Parkway. This report brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Visit them at accounttempst.com and Equal Opportunity Employer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up on FM 94.9.
her mom loves Jesus in America too I did she's a good girl what's crazy about Elvis loves horses and her boyfriend too well you said loves horses and her boyfriend too I apologize, Jay. Thank you. You actually hit it right on the head. For once, yeah. For once, he wasn't being dirty. He actually meant it. Mikey, he was literally a horse. He was literally a horse. What do you think of this? A Mikey, every year, my wife and I buy big variety packs of really good Halloween candy. I'm talking giant Snickers bars, huge Kit Kats, Butterfingers, Skittles, you name it. We have it.
Kids actually know our house as the house for, quote, good candy. Well, we both had to take pay cuts this year because of the economy and we've started cutting back on stuff. Halloween candy is pretty expensive, so we think we're going to get the bags of mini candies, which we know is lame. Are other people going to cut back on decorations or candy this year? We're already giving out candy for free, so should we feel bad? That it isn't the best. That's M1 Alex. Of course you should not feel bad about it. You're going through rough times. But isn't that the standard, Mike? It'd be irresponsible. Yes. It would be irresponsible if you're going through hard times to be buying the big candies. But isn't that sort of the... When we move to America and... Or we are born in America and we buy houses. Don't we assume that with a house comes the implied...
You've got to give the good candy? You've got to give. She's doing a bit. I know she is, but you've only got to give candy. Hey, we found out the other day, smaller candies are better. That's true. Yeah, we did. That's what the kids want. Touche. I'm curious as if. So he's saying bigger candy. He's like full size? Yeah. Well, yeah. That's ridiculous anyway to do that. Oh, we got a neighbor that does it. It's great. The kids love it. It's freaking great, but it's kind of, you have one neighbor that does it. That's the deal. Well, yeah. Not everybody does that. But we found out by reading that article that kids prefer. These kids are working hard going from house to house. Yeah. They prefer the smaller candies. But they deserve as much candy. That's not, that's not even, that's never even been close to standard. They need it more than I did. Yes. L.O.B. L.O.B. is the girl. By the way, that's giving out candy corn. Yes. The little tiny Brock's candy corn. Nobody came last year. You have to plan. Yeah, just get a bag. You got to be prepared. Monster. I'm just not going to be home. You're my dad. Nobody came last year. I had decorations and a bowl of candy. Nobody came. That's sad. No one's ever come trick or treat at my house. Never had it.
Sits there. Poor L.O.B. Keeps the TV down real low. I've got like spooky music on. Matt's hiding in the bushes waiting to jump out at people. L.O.B. opens the front door and goes. Open for business here. If there are any small children that would like candy, we've got some. Coming to my lair, my pretty. Sitting there by herself. Yeah, by herself. Doing that. Matt hanging out in the bushes. No kid anywhere in sight. Here, come here, my pretty. A bunch of adults looking at her like she's weird. I wonder if they'll come to my house. I live on a pretty busy street. No way. They are not. Not on my, you know where I live. Yeah, they're not coming to your house. Oh, good. They're not. You have to get some just in case. Oh, I'm getting some. Oh, yeah, you know. For me. Need to leave some for the kids, though. I'll get some, like, um. Natural fruit bars. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'll get a bag of the mini stuff. I'll end up eating all of them. Well, we do homemade fudge at my house. No, we don't. What do you give? We'll get a bunch of bags of candy. From where? From the store. What store? Jay has a stash, remember? We saw his stash. I go to the Target.
I go to the Target and I pick up some stuff at the Target. But usually so many kids come. What we do is we'll go, Jasper will go trick or treat other houses and we'll come back, put it back in the bowl. You. We get so many kids because I do a haunted house. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. You take candy from a baby. He literally. He will never eat all of it. He literally. He literally can't. Takes candy from a baby. You. He's not a baby. And he gets more than he could eat in one lifetime. He comes back with a. pillowcase full. One lifetime. One lifetime. And by the way, he sends him out with a pillowcase. Oh yeah, he has a pillowcase. A pillowcase. So gangster. So gangster. I did a pillowcase. What are you, Kid Rock?
No, that's the best way to go. Yeah, it is, because it won't rip, and no one can take it. You can get a good handle on it. Hey, Dad, real expensive, nice costume. It's a sheet with two eyes. I'll send him out with a Samsonite. Yes, thank you, thank you. And he only gets candy. He only gets candy for a few days, anyway. And then Kim takes it away and puts it up in the cabinet. He takes... He takes his son's candy. Gives it back. And gives it to the kids coming to the door. Jay, that is mean. I'm shocked. He doesn't care. You can take it a couple days later, but not that bad. He doesn't care. He does not even care. He loves the haunted house and he wants to make sure people get treated well. He recycles. We get bags and bags and bags of candy. There's so much about this guy. You know, Kim makes her own Snickers. That's what we do in my house. We make our own Snickers. We just call it Snackers. We call it Snackers. There was a trailer that pulled up and all these kids got off the trailer and went running up to the neighborhood. I'm never amazed. Hurry up and cut the Snackers because kids are already starting to ring the doorbell. Here's what I do. November 1st, I buy up all the candy that's on sale. I save it for the next year. Clearance. You get it on clearance that way. Oh, great, Kim. Snackers. Here they go. Get the Snackers out the oven. Here's another thing we do, Mike.
I buy that real cheap block chocolate, and I just dip it in peanut butter and just give it my taste. It's like a Reese's. That's baking chocolate, Jay. It don't matter. They don't care. They're just happy to get something. It's horrible. They're just happy to get something. No, what I do is I just go buy a big tub of pudding, and then I got a spoon, and when the kids come, I just give them a spoon. Yeah, here's the taste. I love Bill Cosby. I like it. Oh, hey, look at you. Hi, Mr. Isabel. Say what you're supposed to say. Trick or treat. Here's a spoonful. Thank you. Is that your brother? Let's give him one. Thank you. I hate J's out. Here, you look like you have a cold here. Give him some tussin. Nose is all running. Get off my property. Thank you. Jay. I hate tapioca. Guy is unreal, man. You guys. That's unbelievable. Well, what I do is I break into houses the week before and I steal their candy. I give that away. Jay, you should not be taking death for candy. He doesn't care. Doesn't he? He doesn't. You know how many times we've heard Jay say, he doesn't care. He doesn't even know. It's like, you know, he says, like with Chris, he'll be like, hey, virgin face. Virgin face.
Ain't never been kissed virgin face. And we're like, gee. And he goes, he don't care. He likes it. He likes it. Look at the big smile on his face. He likes it. It's our banter. Yeah, it's the way we talk. He's terrified. It's our banter. That's what we do. Yeah, we banter back and forth. All right, we're going to play That's a True Statement. I'm going to reach in. I'm going to pull something out, read it. And then we have to talk about it. All right, not mine. Everyone can be handy with tools. Most are just too lazy to try. That's a true statement. Of course. What a D. You just got to be willing to put in some effort. I agree. That's BS. Yeah, it is BS because a lot of times, dude, there's some tools you look at them, you don't even know how to use it. You can read the manual. Yeah, just like you don't know how to run the toaster oven. Ha! You just want someone to do it for you. Uh-uh. I don't know how to run the toaster oven. I don't either. Okay.
Let me teach you. You can reprogram a Mac, but you can't operate a toaster oven. I mean this, and this is a true statement. Isolate that sound. 100%. This is a true statement. It tastes better. It tastes better when Jay doesn't. That's true. It doesn't mean you can't do it. Jay Bird, when I bought my desk from Ikea, I tried at first to put it together, and I tried, and I had the manual and all the screws and all the screwdrivers. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. You didn't want to. I am not capable of that stuff. Some people are not that way. Everyone is capable. Everyone is capable. Everyone can be trained. You just choose not to. Fine. You know, at this point in my life, he's right. Fair enough. I don't want to learn. You don't want to learn. I don't want to learn. You never did. Here's another one. No one really does the best they can. And that's a true statement. Wow. That is. I can't stand. Well, I did the best I can. No one does the best they can. Well, you know, raising you, we did the best we could. Did you? Did you? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Do you realize what we would be like if we actually did the best we could? It's S-G-N-T. I disagree. It sounds good, not true. Hang on. There's one caveat. Okay. Kids.
I believe sometimes kids will try as hard as they can. Yes. And they're giving it everything that they have. Mm-hmm. And they can't, they quite literally can't do more. Right. I agree with that. I always do the best I can. I always do. You don't. No, you don't. It's one of my weaknesses when I go on job interviews. I say, I care too much. I'm a perfectionist. It's why I'm always the last one in the studio editing audio and just trying to make sure that it's perfect. Now, by perfect, do you mean? Name three judges from America. Okay, maybe not always. It's the best I could do at that point. That is true. That point is the best I could do to not pass out. I always give 110%. That's true. I don't believe that anybody tries the best. Why? Does the best they can. Because I think that maybe... You know what? You might...
put a lot into it. Maybe you put a lot into it. It ain't the best you can do. It's always the best I can do. No, it is not. I feel, you know, I feel like, you know, this is a true statement. Based on our show, I feel like during Mikey-thon, we all did the best we could do. I don't think we could have done any better. I don't. Oh, dude. Like, today's show has been fantastic. Right. I could have given more. I could get, if I really thought about, you know, I'm just on autopilot. Most of us, when we do our jobs, we're on autopilot and we do a good job. We do a good job. But see, that's a different kind of deal because it takes so much out of you that by the end you're like, I don't have anything else to give. Well, where you mostly hear this is you'll hear it a lot from parents. Yeah. That one is the one that kills me. When you hear a parent say. You know, we did the best we could. No, you didn't. No, you did not. And I know that you're BSing because now I'm a parent. Yeah. And see, I'm not. Oh, gosh, gosh, gosh. Well, I have an egg. I mean, I guess I'd be willing to do the best I could given the chance of having a kid. But, you know, we don't have kids. Oh, gosh. We'd love one. I'm going to do the best I can with this egg. You know, I'm 36. My wife's 40.
It'd be nice to go ahead and get that out of the way so we're not 75 when the kid graduates high school. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that'd be good. Well, you know the old saying. That's right. Even if you're, you know, 50 with a baby. Right. Oh, which is great. That's always great. You'll still do the best that you can. Yeah. At that point. I believe you will. At that point. I'll try. I mean, I'll try hard. Yeah. I mean. Give it a chance. Why don't we? Let's get another one. Let's get a different one. I'll try. I'll try another one. Makes me so uncomfortable. Please don't be me. Oh, that's Jay because it's all thick. Thanks. Being a jerk and saying you're hormonal is a bit. Maybe you're just a butthole. That's a true statement. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. It's a very loaded statement. Yeah. Let me explain. There's a lot of ladies that take advantage. Yep. Liberties. They take liberties. And it's because they are, quote, unquote. Oh. Now, sometimes you're just not very nice. Yep. But you're using it as an excuse. Guys, we can't do that. Nope. We can't be, you know, jerks every 28 and be like, well, sorry about that, but you know I'm hormonal. Right. So why would you have said that to me?
Knowing I'm hormonal. Read my mind. You guys say it more than we do. What? You guys say it about us. Oh, yeah. I've never come in here and been like, leave me alone, I'm hormonal. But you guys will be like, oh, want to tell him a month ago? Ant flows in town. Yeah. I guess he must be here. You guys use it as a way to be like, oh, I'm going to call you a bitch without calling you a bitch. I mean, there's got to be a reason. You've got to explain it away somehow. Listen, I feel like I get hormonal. Listen, I'm not saying that hormonal doesn't exist because I do believe that it exists. What I also believe is that women take a little advantage of it. You know how you guys always say that we can't understand how much it hurts when you get hit in the boys? You guys can't understand the hormonal bits. They're really not allowed to speak on it. That's fair enough. I'm fine not speaking on it. Yeah, but we can't use that. We can't be like, oh, I just got kicked in the nuts. And so that's why I spoke to you that way. And you should have known better. Because, you know, one is actually getting kicked in the boys. And the other is, well, I'm hormonal. What does it mean, L.O.B.? You know, like, what happens? What happens? Like, does it mean that while that time, while that time, that's all we say, while that time, does it mean that you will cry at something you wouldn't normally? Why? How? What? It's inexplicable.
We don't know why. And sometimes it's different. Sometimes it shows it rears its ugly head in different ways. Sometimes it's hurt. Sometimes it's sadness. Sometimes it's fear. And it's a lot of angry. Sometimes it's anger. Sometimes it's chocolate. Sometimes it's just, yeah. I just don't get it. Sometimes it's lust. Seriously? Oh, yeah. Gosh. It doesn't make any sense. Hormones have a mind of their own, so they just do these crazy things and fire off. Do we have hormones? Yeah, but yours don't fluctuate. Isn't testosterone a hormone? Okay, we have hormones. We're not hormonal. Girls are hormonal. I get bitchy. You guys can get high testosterone if you're working out or angry. No worries there. That must be what I do. She has his pants off around his ankles as we speak. Working out. Testing his testosterone level. Yep. I'm a little high. When you get home, Jay, do you just stare in a mirror and flex? Nude. No, I don't have time for that. Hey, Kim! Kim, where's my kimono? Hey, make me a vodka and laugh. A vodka. Turn that damn... Hey, Matty! Turn that Taylor Swift off right now.
I want to hear it. Daddy's trying to dance up here. Who's watching Siam so loud? Jasper? Daddy's trying to listen to TV on the radio. I want the two-door cinema club. Thank you. Hurry up. Cinnamon club. Hey, two-door cinnamon club. Oh, God. They're hilarious. I love them so much. A lot of people texted in about the tip topic we were talking about. Bunch of Europeans. Oh, boy. It says, first of all, it's not a standard if nobody knows about it. 25% my bleep. We just told you about it. So it is. Yeah, you too. You know now. Now you know. Cheap European. It's not a standard. Hey, you don't want to tip me up to Spain, pal. I'll tip. Real good over there. Nobody said we don't want his tip. Dude, I got to be honest. Don't you think, Woodsy, a quarter of the bill, bro? What if your bill's $100? Do you think $25 is too much? I think it's kind of odd. So what's the difference? It's $5 difference. It's $5 stinking dollars. It adds up. Well, it isn't even the adding up. You don't go out to those kind of dinners all the time. $20 seems generous and...
And 25 is... No, no, no. I'll tell you. 50 is crazy. Hey, bro. What's the difference between 75 degrees and 80? A lot. A lot. I know it's only five bucks, but for me, the adding up, doesn't it seem a little bit... What's that word? Entitlement. No, because they're not expecting it, okay? Even a 20%... By looking at the posts of our listeners, they're like... Twenty percent. Everyone's so entitled. They're not entitled to it. But being an American and being just a normal person, 20 percent is the norm. Thirty five percent. Twenty is the norm. Thirty five percent. What about it? What do you think of that? I don't have a problem with it. Don't you? Thirty five percent. It's going to be, dude. It's going to be. It's going to get there. OK. When you were in high school, what'd you pay for gas? Ninety five cents. Right. What do you pay now? Four dollars. I don't see anybody freaking out. Yes, you do, bro. You do see people freaking out. But the cost of the food still goes up. And we're still giving a percentage of the cost of the food. Well, apparently the cost of the food is going down. There's more specials. There are more specials is what the guy was saying. At his place. At his place. Where? Have you seen any menus reprinted? The places you've gone. I don't know. I don't know. And I'll tell you this, man. I really believe that 20% is such an exorbitant amount. Oh, my God. I do. And I give it.
I give it, and I give it gratefully. I mean, I don't resent it. Well, then stick with 20. But I think that it doesn't change. I don't think it should change ever. Okay. I think that 15 is the absolute minimum. Absolute. Even if they do a... terrible job. Someone said something about not tipping on there. Why wouldn't it be five? But why wouldn't it be five then? If it's terrible, why wouldn't it be five? It's just a social norm that's been in place for a while. Just like 20 freaking percent has been in place for a long time. 20% has been in place for a while as a good tip. As average. No, no, no. I thought it was a great tip. 18% is average. 20% is a good tip. We should make it five. I've given 30% to 50% before, and it's been an exceptionally good job. And I think that there's, use your discretion to do stuff like that, but making a standard 25%?
Well, it won't. Nobody will do. I mean, people don't do 20 now, obviously. Chris said that if it was that, he just wouldn't be able to go out. He couldn't afford it. If they had it as a set. Less people will go out to eat, which will then put the servers out of a job. So then, that'll be bad. For sure. Let's make it 3%. Everybody happy. All the cheese gates out there. No one's disagreeing on 15 points. Go to Europe. We should just be Europe. No tips. Why? They don't tip in Europe? They don't tip. No, but they get paid a whole lot more and they get respected a whole lot more. How much is a whole lot more? I don't know what their pay scales are over there, but it's a lot more. Yeah, they make $100,000 a year. They make $500,000 a year. It's a lot more respected, too. Part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 941-MIKEY-AG. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Past performers include The Black Keys, Phoenix, Spoon,
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Well, we've got some delays as you travel on to the 15 southbound before Mission Road due to a bunch of metal that's in the number one lane. Also, the 8 westbound before Marina Boulevard, an accident over on that right shoulder. And you've got some delays as you travel on the 56 westbound between Black Mountain Road and the 5 stop-and-go traffic there in the teens. This report brought to you by New Centrum Specialists. It's a line of multivitamins with additional support for your heart, energy, vision, or prenatal needs. Centrum Specialists helps make nutrition possible. Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the internet. Lauren. I'm not a crier. Woods. I used to drink a lot. And Jay. How about you let me raise my own kid? On FM 94.9. Atmosphere music. So, got a text for you, Woodsy. Okay. Why is it for me? Well, you'll see. I'm going to get a puppy to pick up chicks. What do you think is the best dog that girls will love? Is that wrong? Isn't that why you got Shooter? I didn't get Shooter. Jamie did. Isn't that why you're keeping the whites? Yeah. Keeping the whites because they don't have a home. Isn't that why you started playing guitar? Yes. You and Mad Commerce. Yes, that's absolutely why I started playing guitar. 100%. You don't get a dog.
To pick up chicks, you douche nozzle. But you know that girls would be attracted to. Okay, if that's your reason, you better take care of that dog, USOB. You better do it. I'm going to have a kid to pick up dudes. Isolate. Why would you pick up dudes? I don't know. You have a boyfriend. Well, why would a guy be like, ooh, look at that girl with a kid. I got to have that. Oh, yeah. It works for guys, though. When guys have a baby, girls are like, oh my gosh, you're so cute. Yeah, I'm a widow. When they have a wedding ring, too. Oh, yeah. That's a bit. It doesn't matter. That's a bit. The wedding ring bit is a bit. We don't like to believe it's true that we get hit on. Like it's some sort of force field. Like, no. But it's a bit. I've never been hit on with a wedding ring on. I've never been hit on, so. What? Fair enough. No. I think it's a fake bit. But anyway, back to the topic at hand. I think this guy's a douche nozzle, for sure. Why? Because he's getting a dog to meet girls. You get a dog to get a dog and be a. you know, responsible steward is the word of the day of raising that. I thought douche nozzle was the word. Yeah, douche nozzle. He is one of them. And I'm fine with you starting that. It's good. You like it? I like that. Okay. I got it from M1 Cave Dweller. Oh. He's our friend. I guys stole it from him. I thought you were making it up and I was like, gosh darn, that's a good one. That was just clever. No, I'm not that clever. It's not like my man or anything. Yeah, it's not like my man. My man.
But no, I think that's really... What if he just has a dog, you know, he picks up the girl and then he just gets rid of the dog? Oh, boy. Mike, come on. Trying to eject me through the roof. I'll freak out. What? I'm just asking you. You're a monster. Okay, wait. What about this? What if he were to get a cute little dog? He goes, he takes it to Dog Beach, to the park. He meets a girl. Which inevitably he will. He will. But then he finds a super good home. That somebody will love me. I will murder you. Not a bat. I will stab you. Not the pound, dude. I will stab you. A nice home. No! Get a dog with the intention of keeping it throughout its life cycle. Until it passes away naturally. But you know how many people get guys and girls? Naturally from a bullet? Yeah. That Jay talked about? Yeah. Guys and girls will do that. Get the little cute dogs. Or puppies. Or puppies. And then when they're not puppies anymore. They live in a studio apartment and they think, you know what I need? I need a black lab. Why? Because it's going to get me laid. And then they're like, well, we have a black lab in a studio apartment. That doesn't work. And then they get rid of it. To a nice home. Mikey, I'm going to scalp you, dude. Like an Apache.
I don't think anybody gets a dog for the sole purpose of trying to pick up a girl. This clown sounds like he is. I think guys do. Hey, I'm getting one to meet girls. They do. Especially college students. Oh, it's such a bit with the college students and their dogs to get laid. And they are a ton of work and they would destroy your apartment. Let's feed it beer. Hey, come here. Look, Bailey likes beer, guys. Bailey. Bailey. That's so classic. I know about a... I don't know. I know about 100 Baileys. Including my brother has a pit bull named Bailey. Really? By the way, when you did the blowing the pot smoke into the dog's face, Chris looked at you like, what? Like, have you seen somebody do that? Oh, yeah. I've seen it. Oh, yeah. I've seen it. That's monstrous. Yes. I've seen the beer feed and the... Pot smoke blow. I see that guy shoot his dog up with heroin. No, I'm kidding. He did not. I don't know. Police. It's really weird. Stop tying his dog off. Whoa. Dog doing blow. Yeah, dude. I used to know this guy. I had a dog. And he would make his dog do lines of mess. But he made it chop it up first.
It was unbelievable. He's this guy that used to roofie his dog. Unbelievable. Oh, that dog is on X. He's rolled. The dog has a pacifier in his mouth. Overalls. You're a dork. Yeah, don't do it for the girls. Do it to save a dog's life. Go to the pound. Go to the pound and get one. You know that guy from the Jersey Shore? Sitch. Sitch. The situation. He pretends to be dumb. He's not. No, he's not dumb. But he pretends. He's really not dumb? I don't watch the show. I don't watch the show. But I heard one clip and I figured out, oh, he's doing a bit. Yeah. I didn't realize that. I thought the guy was for real. Here, I'll give you an example. You know how Jay will flub up words every once in a while?
We will call him out for it. The situation does it, and it's fake. You know how I know it's fake? When Jay does it, he'll keep going. He doesn't realize that he's, and we have to say, what's goth? I still don't hear it. He never hears it. That's the key. What? Now. Oyster. Oyster. What? Oysters on a half shell. What? Rockefeller oysters. Oyster Rockefeller. Okay, so the situation says, He messes up the word contradictory. And when he says it, he stops for the laugh.
Abercrombie and Bitch. I mean, Fitch. Yeah, I know. You know what? Abercrombie and Fitch, that was a real slip-up, actually. Supposedly, they had said that they had called me up and they said that they would endorse me not to wear their sweatpants, so to speak. And then I saw in the news, it said, you know, Abercrombie's saying that he's bad for our brand, but the year before, they're selling Fitch-O-A-Tian shirts and GTL shirts. So it's, like, kind of contradictory. And... 100%. 100%. And I didn't think it was possible to loathe that dude more. And I do. Thank you. And at the same time. What? What? What? What did I say? What did I do? Did I say something? I actually own those trademarks. They call this affituation. That's different. That's a likeness of situation. So did you sue them for that? We're actually in the process of trying. Why are you looking down when you say that? The Jersey Shore. Boy, when is that 50? It's got to be at 1458 at this point. It's got to be. It was the number one Thursday night show last week. Un-get-ba. What is it? What's the ingredient? What's the thing that gets people to train wreck? Drama. Crazy. Train wreck. I mean, isn't that Italian train wreck? Is that it? Could be.
Because here's my legitimate question, is that it seems to me there's a few shows that feature the train wreck element. It seems like all the Housewives shows are about train wrecks. Kardashians. Kardashians. Aren't they all, like, why is this drama so much more popular? It's like drugs, sex, rock and roll. It's all the elements. I mean, maybe not so much rock and roll, but they act like rock stars. They think they're rock stars. So it's just all these elements. Like there's people sleeping with people. There's people getting in fights. There's like made up words and languages. There's like just bizarre, bizarre things. It's just like our show, really. You know what scares me? Is little kids want to be that. That's the scary part. I hope not. So gross. But they do. They want to be on the Kardashians or on Jersey Shore or on 16 and Pregnant so bad. And they want to act like... Little B's and D's. Yeah, we read something that said that they believe that their life should have drama in it. Teenagers. They have to have it. 75% of teenagers? 75% of teenagers. That was it. A female teenager. A female teenager said that their life should have as much drama in it as the Kardashians. See, I probably, before reality shows, would have answered that when I was in middle school. That my life needed drama.
That's what you believe, especially as a hormonal teenage girl. Oh, boy. Isn't it amped up now, though? Don't you think it's amped up more because of these shows? It's almost like Mikey's brother's bit. It's like I think that they were going to find drama somewhere, and now this is just the outlet for them. I hate it. I wouldn't let my kids watch that stuff. I genuinely feel bad for the parent with the girl. teenager that's going through that phase. I genuinely feel bad for them because they get, like, I know a woman and her daughter is awful. And she says to me, 13. And she said to me, she goes, she's awful. And I said, what do you mean? And she goes, she says hideous things to me. Hideous things. And I go, like what and she says she'll cuss like and just started doing it i'd say about 98 there's a small margin of them that never go through it that are like what they're just sweet kids and they'll say things like it's almost like they don't they don't realize the words that they're saying because they'll say things like i hope you die oh yeah i was a nightmare nightmare
Kids, man. Yeah, but you're also a really good student. You're a top athlete. Did you say wackadoo stuff to your parents? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Liberty just came out the other side of that. Really? She would not hug me, didn't want anything to do with me. Well, dude, that's one thing. But I'm talking about even a-hole. It is all rolled into one. Would she get mean with you? Oh, she'd get mean and just nasty. And it's because you can't do anything. I'd be like, you're not funny. Shut up. Oh, my gosh. Just such a brat. Relax. Calm down. Dad, oh, yeah. That was funny like five years ago. You did that with me still. You become a dork. You become a dork to your kids. You become a dork. That's not abusive. Dad, why do you keep touching me? Stop it. You're like, oh, my gosh. That's it. I don't know, because I've been doing that for 10 years. Get off. Because I love you. I still love you. I was just trying to hug my daughter. Sorry. When does it stop? When you go to college. Mom, stop telling me how to do my life. 20-ish. That is the quote of the quit telling me how to do my life. Do my life. That's the greatest. I want to be the guy. I'll be the guy that like locks his kids in their bedroom. I'll be that dude. Right before I left for school, I started to be like, oh, I do love them. I was, I don't remember who said it. I was listening to something and it was a dad and he was walking out of the room and he said his daughter had never said this before.
He told her to pick something up, and he had never experienced this before. She was 13. She goes, as he was walking out, she goes, whatever. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. That's fighting words, man. You're done. You just freaking said whatever? I'd get a call back for that. Oh, my gosh. And so he walked back in the room, and he goes, what did you just say? Oh, boy. And she goes, nothing. Because she knew. Yeah, she's toast. You know, she knew. Like, that. For whatever reason, that word, that's fighting words. Oh, yeah. You don't say whatever. You don't say whatever. You don't say it when you're walking by. Did you get whatever? Well, one of my daughters, who will go nameless, Maddie. Maddie. Wow. We had ordered pizza. And I said, okay, when he comes, here's the money. So the doorbell rings. And I go, Maddie, get the door. She goes, why don't you get it? Literally. And then she immediately knew.
She takes off running for her room. Locks her door. Let's just say the door jam is not in the same condition it was. Holy. That's a dad, man. That'll be me. That led to her moving out for a week. I was like, well, then when we finally had the conversation, I was like, well, then get your stuff and get. Go. Wow. Go. I would do the same thing. And we finally, you know. her mom working on me and her. Because mom was the go-between trying to make it all work. So Liberty, who now is in Maddie's room, is like, hey, you ever going to fix that door? Oh, wow. I'll tell you another four words that'll set a parent off. What time are you going to be home? What do you care? What do you care? What are you kids doing down at the reservoir? Why do you keep riding your bikes down there? What do you care? You're dead. You're freaking dead. I'm going to take your bike. I'm going to throw it on top of the roof, and I'm going to throw you in your room and lock the door. Oh, my God. You know who the dad I'm going to be? Yeah. I'm going to be the guy that walks in, rips the TV out of the wall, throws it through there. I'll be that guy. I'll be like, what? I have been that guy. It doesn't do any good. It doesn't do any good. No, my dad used to rip the phone out of the wall. I had those beads that hang in the doorway. Weird. They're like hippie. I had these plastic colored beads. Oh, my gosh. And those things. Identical gray, Brady. Yes.
He would rip those things off the... I bet it made... the most horrific sound. And then one time I was like bawling, crying because they all got ripped and tangled. Like a lot of times he would, because I screwed them up there myself. So they were barely up there. So he would come, I'd do the same thing, run to my room, slam the door and he would be open that door and push the beads out of the way and they'd come flying off the door frame. Which probably pissed him off more. It did. And then one time he got tangled in them. Oh my God. GD beans. Is this a nightclub? Oh, yeah, and I was like 16, and I was like, my baby. I love those with my babysitting beer. My baby. My babysitting beer. You owe me $20. You owe me $20. Then I'll give the bit of, where do you think you live? Who pays the rent in this MFL? It's all downhill from there. I don't want to live.
I think I told you guys a story about when I was 15 and Beth was 15 and she had her room wallpapered in framed photos of Deidre Hall. She was a fan of Deidre Hall. Who's that? She's Marlena on Days of Our Lives. Oh, my. She had a room lined with it while her dad came in and he was pissed, man. And she was, you know, mouthing off. And I think he like... hit the wall or something with his fist, and one of the things fell, hit the side of her waterbed, and the glass broke and punctured the waterbed. And she goes, Ha! Oh, my God. All over. Doesn't that scare you just hearing it? Doesn't that scare you just hearing it? I would have been dead. I remember he left because I think he would have killed her. He left. He was about to kill her. He was going to kill her. If he had a gun, he would be like, boom, in the knee at least. Yes. I would be pretty sure he's going to get a shovel to barriers. I'll be right back. I mean.
I mean, you're art as a dad. You went in there. You lost your cool, which is embarrassing. You punched the wall. The thing. It's expensive. It's so rude. Now you got a big. And, dude, they had those big air dryers in their hallway for a week. Those big dryers. And the mom's like, oh, great work, jackass. Oh, that's exactly where the moms are, too. Yeah, really. Nice work. But when he saw the water, and she goes, ha ha. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. My skin's growing. If that had been my house, nobody would have been over there for weeks. Oh, no. Because that would have been groundwork. Oh, yeah. You'd be in the attic. He'd put you in the attic, and he'd give you food every once in a while. People would only see me at school. Now, the trouble is, is that there's a lot of kids, they can't really, they'll be like, Hey, man, I can say whatever I want to my dad. You didn't say whatever you wanted to my dad. Not my dad. No way. Yeah, L.O.B. has said it. We've all said it. Except for Woods. What? Woods has not said it. What? You could get away with stuff with your parents, couldn't you? Or were you not? When I was younger, I couldn't. The older I got, the more rebellious I got. And then I did. And then, like...
Then my dad, my dad really mellowed. He, boy, when I was young, he was a firecracker, dude. A firecracker. And it was, do not disrespect your mother. And he'd give you the jaw. If you got the jaw, you're dead. Oh, your jaw's bad. You're dead. And I knew. And so I didn't misbehave. I was actually a really good kid. Then I hit 16. Right. And then I discovered beer and cigarettes and, you know, boobs. And that was done. And what was the deal? He was like, he wasn't going to do anything about it? No. Wow. Because my mom would get mad at him. He was going to lose-lose. My mom would get mad at him. So he was going to lose-lose. Get mad at them? Yeah. For disciplining? Yeah. No, Kim always gives me the... But then also now, she also does like when Liberty or somebody will say something, she goes, we'll be in the other room and then we'll both say, we laugh. Hey, I'll tell you what. And a lot of parents can identify. Yesterday, Jake got Rebecca to the point where she goes, I'm serious. He's bugging me bad. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it happens. Dude, he was just...
He was on one yesterday, man. It happens, yeah. Oh, yeah. And all he could do was slam doors and, you know, running and screaming about stuff. Do you argue with your parents ever at your age now? No. Okay. We had probably the worst argument as a family we ever had about four years ago. And I'm talking full-on curse. And I'm talking, Jamie, get out of the lake. Get your ass. Get in the effing car, and we are leaving, and we are not coming back here to this lake house. Really? It was like that, and I got my finger in both of my parents' faces like that. Oh, wow. Dude, it was bad. Never as an adult. Oh, yeah. It was like, but they were being ridiculous. Ridiculous. Do you remember what it was about? Absolutely. What? No, the whole thing. My mom, we had a bunch of people out to the lake. They have an awesome lake house, and so all these people came out. My mom starts doing this bit that she does sometimes. She's like,
Sure, her feelings get hurt. Well, I spent this much money. I did this. I bought this, this, this. And she starts giving you the list. And once you get the list, it makes my brother nuts. It makes him nuts. Then they start in on him, calling him disrespectful. Then I freak out because I'm like, nobody wants to come out here. It's a lake house. It doesn't have to be the Taj Mahal. We should be able to come out, put our feet up and relax. Next thing you know, it's, well, I spent this much on a margarita machine. I bought all this food and blah, blah, blah. And we're like, we didn't ask for that. All we wanted was a ham sandwich and to go out and have a good time. And, dude, when we started getting less, I flipped. I mean, I went through the roof. I go, neither of you. What's the point of the list to tell you guys to be? Yeah, like you're being ungrateful. Yeah, you're being ungrateful. Because look what we've done. And it's not like my brother and I go, hey, mom, we're coming out with friends. Make sure you get a pork tenderloin. Make sure you buy a daiquiri machine. Make sure you do this, this. We want ham sandwiches. Mr. Pibb. And that's all we need, dude. And we are good to go. And we start getting the list. And, dude, I was sitting in the back watching football, and I heard this argument. And I walked out, and I go, neither of you two deserve this lake house. Neither of you know how. Oh, yeah. You don't deserve. You don't deserve this lake house. Dude, I got them. I got them. Were they surprised? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And when Jamie's out sitting on a floatie drinking a beer in the lake, I go, get out!
Jamie, get on! Get your stuff! I'm leaving! She's like, what, dear? What, dear? Get your stuff! Oh, get my stuff! Chris is looking at what's like. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Uh, that, that, that. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Past performers include The Black Keys. Baby, I'm howling for you. Phoenix. Spoon. Against Me.
And many, many more. This year's artist lineup and info will be revealed tomorrow at 10 a.m. on FM 94.9. So you blew it. You ate the donut. You slept in and skipped your workout. You had that second helping. Went a little overboard at the buffet. Hit the candy jar at the office a little too hard. Stayed up way too late. You forgot to put safety first. You didn't eat your vegetables. You didn't even open that bottle of vitamins you bought. You accidentally left your gym bag at home. Your favorite machine was broken at the gym. Instead of your water bottle, you chugged a two liter of soda. You couldn't help yourself. You had a craving. Or you simply couldn't resist. But you know what? It's okay. Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. One slip up isn't going to undo all that good work. So don't be afraid to embrace your setbacks and do whatever it takes to keep trying. At Kaiser Permanente, we believe the more you keep trying, the better chance you have to turn bad habits into good ones. Because we think it's never too late to thrive. Keep up the good work at kp.org slash thrive. I was car shopping with a dream in mind and reality in my budget. But with the unbelievable rate I got, I could shoot for the moonroof and the five-star dream car.
It's not your wild imagination. This rate is real and only at Navy Federal. Right now, get as low as 1.79% APR in new cars. Plus, use our auto buying program and save even more. But a dream rate waits for no one. It's for a limited time and only at Navy Federal Credit Union. Grab your chance to upgrade your dreams for the car you really want. Apply today at NavyFederal.org. Rates based on credit worthiness, your rate may differ. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students with our Teachers Are Heroes program. Teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM 949SD.com.
And tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes. Made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California, and FM 94.9. For over 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has been pushing the limits of what is possible, unveiling groundbreaking innovations year in and year out. And this year is no exception. Introducing the all-new 2012 M-Class. Capable of monitoring blind spots, scanning the road for trouble ahead, and alerting you if it detects that you're drowsy. The all-new M-Class, with a completely redesigned, more luxurious interior, is one of the most advanced SUVs on the road today. The M-Class is part of the 2012 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest vehicles in the luxury car class. An SUV so refined, inside and out, you have to experience it to believe it. Lease the 2012 ML354 Matic for just $639 a month for 30 months with $4,934 due at signing. Available only to qualify customers exclusively for Mercedes-Benz Financial Services or participating dealers through October 31st, 2011. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-F4-MERCEDES for all your details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, and Hohen Motors in Carlsbad. Ooh, I did not mean to do that. Jim.
Jim, if you don't mind me saying so, your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. Ugh, it's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like, slicing torsos like carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. And the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I got to try alternative energy. Function Alternative Energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function Alternative Energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Scream if you can. Because when your throat is choked with fear, you may struggle to blurt out a silent scream or a really loud one. It's the familiar sound of Halloween in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds, where you come every year to face your fears, confront your demons in a manner of speaking. And this Halloween, the last sound you hear may be your own or theirs in the Scream Zone.
The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone now through Halloween. Climb aboard the Haunted Hayride or enter the House of Horror or the Chamber. Three terrifying ways to scare the life out of you. For hours, tickets, and information, visit thescreamzone.com. Save time in line. Buy tickets now at thescreamzone.com. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. On FM 94.9. Woodsy has new releases. I do. Are you ready, my friend? What do you got coming up? Well, the new Coldplay is out. Milo Xyloto. Oh, wait. Oh, word. Oh, word. It's on a different page now. Here we go. I like it. Is Coldplay in the club? Yeah. This is featuring Rihanna. Weird. I'm done. That was it. I love it. I love all the new stuff. The new Paradise.
Excellent. It's just a different sound. Why do you want the same thing from them? I want what I know. I don't go to the club. I don't pop bottles. I don't pop bottles. Don't you always pop bottles? Yeah, I do. I'm not going to pop any bottles. Fair enough. I just want Coldplay. Oh, my God. Oh, please. Oh, really, plebe? It's like mixing peanut butter and cocktail sauce on a sandwich. I like both of them. Don't put them together. Oh, I love them both. They're so good. Don't be silly. B.S. It's peanut butter and jelly. You really got to be with Rihanna now. Coldplay. Is that your bit? You got to be with Rihanna. Because if you're with Rihanna, you suck. No, you're jumping on the bandwagon. What are you, Fonzie on the motorcycle? Yeah, because the general public wouldn't like two things they like. The general populace wouldn't. They don't belong together. Like Eminem and Rihanna. You wouldn't want that. Well, they're both the same genre of music. Oh. I see. So you wouldn't want Johnny Cash to sing Soundgarden, would you? They're both the same genre of music. Rock and roll. He was country music. He was rock and roll. Let's put Taylor Swift and the Deftones. Oh, yeah. That would be so rad. I might be in on that. No, you couldn't do that. Exactly. Well, but the reason that you couldn't do that is because one is really super hard and one is really super soft. Coldplay and Rihanna are both.
Coldplay is soft. Brianna is club. Yeah. All right. The new Kelly Clarkson is out. Stronger. She had her index finger in the air when she said that. Big time. And she's bopping her head back. Oh, yeah. Let me get it. You don't know a thing about me. She got pipes, man. Yeah, she does. The new Surfer Blood is out. Tarot Classics. Oh, this one gets me. This guy, I will never understand. Till the day I die, Tom Waits, bad as me. You don't speak the language? I don't speak the language. You know what it sounds like? What? It sounds like I'm at a luau, and they hired the oldest Hawaiian on the island to come down. And they're, hey, have you guys tried the poi? Yeah, it's good. It's actually really good here. Who's this guy? Oh, his name is Aaluilui.
And he's from Onaway. Oh, okay. And he's actually been performing here for, this will be his 47th year performing here. He does sound really old. Oh, I love you, Louie. You know, it's funny, Tom Wayne sounded like that 30 years ago, too. Yeah. People who love him, they love him. Love him. They love him. Like, I never got him. They will hunt you down and make you listen to their own. Yes. He wrote Jersey Girl, so I'm all the way in. Is that a Broadway play? No, it's a song that Bruce Springsteen made. Bruce Springsteen made it famous. Just kidding. And the new Vince Gill guitar slinger. Love him. Identical wood taste. Just white and chubby a little bit. A little bit. I like a bunch of his songs. I like his voice because it sounds like he's crying when he sings. That's awesome. Sounds a little bit like Richard Marks doing. I like Richard Marks. Right that day. You liked it too, Jay. You did too, Jay. In fact, every one of you listening knows. Hey, you tell me you turn the radio when you hear Endless Summer Nights? I don't think so, dude. Even I don't turn it, all right? Garrett, really? Oh, hell yeah. I love Richard Marks. I'd never freaking say it, but I love him. Everybody loves Richard Marks.
People try to be a plebe about it. You like Richard Marks. You know why? Because he was soldiery. What was the one down by the river? I didn't something hurt that night. I don't know. Whoa. You know the one. Yeah, that one. The old down by the river something hurt that night. Down by the river something. Wow. Synthesizer. 1980, big Afro mullet real good. Just feathered. Curled in the back. Curled and feathered on the side. Fat Mikey just loving some girl that didn't love him back. My buddy Fenwick, every time we went into the music store to look at guitars, because we did a lot, he would go to the piano and he would play this. And it would make me so jealous. Wow. Oh, that's excellent. Because he could play it? He could play it right now if you ask. Really? Yeah.
It's pretty awesome. I know. I think Richard Marks seriously got started because he won a contest for songwriting. I believe it's a true story. I freaking love it. Imagine him singing country. This is the single most guilty pleasure in the world. Oh, yeah. Big bowl of ice cream and hot fudge and whipped cream on it. Even Jay. Jay loves it. He knows it. He can't deny it. You can't help it. Oh, man. He's like, who is this? Yeah. You've never heard it, huh, Chris? Oh, yeah, he has. He's like, yeah. I know it. Yeah, you have a father, right? Yeah. So, yes. Hey, listen. I think Luke and Ryan are familiar with this song. Oh, it's out on DVD today. The new Captain America, The First Avenger is out. And yesterday, the new Pearl Jam documentary, PJ20, came out. I'll be watching that soon.
That is it, right? Yep. Reflective last night. Your moods. I know. I dictate my music. It's hilarious. Tomorrow there'll be Richard Marks. There's no question. Paul Richard Marks. Paul Davis. Sarah McLachlan. They figured out one of the things that causes teen violence that's going to surprise you. I'll tell you what it is next. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9.
Policies issued by American General Life Insurance Company, Houston, Texas. Not available in all states. For details, visit matrixdirect.com. Sometimes I worry about what would happen to my family if I lost my job. But I never really thought about what would happen to them if they lost me and I didn't have life insurance. My cousin's husband died and now she might have to sell her house just to make ends meet. I don't ever want to put my wife through that. So I called Matrix Direct. Hi, I'm Brent Langdon for Matrix Direct. We partnered with American General Life to find you their lowest rates on term life insurance products. If you're 40 years old and married, we could find you a quarter of a million dollar policy for less than $16 a month. Call now for a free, no obligation quote. 1-800-551-8505 I feel so much better now that I called. It only takes five minutes to see how you could save up to 70%. Call now. 1-800-551-8505 1-800-551-8505. At the new Nordstrom Rack at Plaza Bonita, you can find the brands you love at an irresistible 30% to 70% off. That fabulous can't-wait-to-show-off deal, the perfectly on-trend steals, and thousands and thousands of amazing shoes are just waiting for you. With fresh new style arriving daily at Plaza Bonita, the hunt is always on. Nordstrom Rack.
Brands you love at prices that make you feel like a shopping genius. Happy style hunting. The Nordstrom Rack opens this Thursday at 9 a.m. at Plaza Bonita, located at the intersection of I-805 and Highway 54. Save up to 30 to 70% off on brand name and designer apparel, shoes, and accessories for the whole family. Nordstrom Rack, where style meets savings. Opens this Thursday at Plaza Bonita at the intersection of I-805 and Highway 54. Meet Chris. Um, hello, random voice. Another customer exhausted from a lifetime of unfair treatment from his cell phone company. It's true. I'm even considering giving up cell phones altogether and switching to carrier pigeons. Not so fast, Chris, because now there's an unbelievably fair alternative. Cox Wireless. How fair are we talking? Unbelievably fair. Go ahead and name anything about your cell phone plan that you think is unfair and I'll tell you how Cox Wireless would handle it. Okay. It's unfair when I have to pay for all the minutes I don't use. Cox Wireless has money back minutes. Money back every month for the minutes you don't use. Up to $20. How's that sound, Christopher? That sounds good. These pigeons are really messy.
Your wireless is unfair. Go to Cox.com or visit any Cox Solution store today to find out just how fair wireless can be. Cox Wireless, now available. Cox Wireless is available to residential Cox customers. Coverage not available in all areas. Other restrictions may apply. It's never an easy decision. But when the passion is gone and things have become boring and predictable, the answer will be crystal clear. We're all grown-ups here. You know when it's time to move on. So go ahead. Test drive that new BMW 328i sedan you've had your eye on. The timing is perfect. Right now, BMW is offering a $1,000 credit on the 2011 328i sedan, along with attractive lease and finance offers, but only for a limited time. And as you build those strong bonds on the open road with your ultimate driving machine, you won't be weighed down by the baggage of any maintenance costs for four years or 50,000 miles. Hurry into a BMW center today for a test drive. The chemistry will be immediate. For no-cost maintenance details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease a 328i sedan for $359 a month and get a $1,000 credit. Visit fdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Your home is where you feel the safest. But a silent threat may be lurking. One you can't see, smell, or taste. Is carbon monoxide the leading cause of accidental poisoning deaths in America?
I'm Kevin Nida, President of the California State Firefighters Association. Each year, firefighters across California see the devastating effects of CO poisoning, yet prevention is quick and easy. Install a carbon monoxide alarm in your home. It's the only safe way to detect the silent killer. And, as of July 1st, it's the law. The CSFA supports this safety measure and urges you not to wait. CO poisonings happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone. Common sources include gas-burning appliances, grills, and generators. Take this simple step to protect your family. Install a CO alarm today. For more information, visit casafehomes.org. To everyone who says to stop and smell the roses, we say, use some imagination. I mean, roses? Really? We suggest you stop and smell the delicious steak dinner, cocoa butter spa treatment, and the poolside suntan lotion. Because at Harrah's Ring Con, we get you. After all, life is short, and it should be played or smelled for all it's worth. Harrah's Ring Con. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Ring Con Band of Louis Samuel Indians. Managed by H-Cal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars License Company, LLC. From my rock star daughter to my soccer star son, every California family is made up of strong Californians. And to keep mine California strong, I choose Yoplait.
Only Yoplait Original has twice the calcium of the leading yogurt, and Yoplait Greek has twice the protein of regular yogurts. So why would this California mom choose anything else? Head to your local Vons store today and find your favorite flavors of Yoplait yogurt in light, original, and Greek varieties. Vons, ingredients for life. Hey, it's Mikey, and you've heard the good news about AIS. First of all, the government debt. They've been downgraded. The stock market is on a roller coaster. News of the economy is a mixed bag. Everybody's looking for ways to save money because it's uncertain economic times. Here's one piece of good news for you. AIS customers report an average savings of $500 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. I saved $1,600 a year. Now, how does AIS do it? Well, you don't have to call. 10 to 20 insurance companies for quotes. AIS does it for you. They shop dozens of insurance companies and find the best combination of price and coverage for all your needs. So give them a call today. It's AIS. And look for discounts to qualify you. Some of them up to 20% off. And AIS never charges you broker fees. It's your premium.
is all you pay for. If you haven't called AIS yet, make the call today for a free quote. 1-800-777-4AIS or go to AISinsurance.com. Jerome's Price Protection. Like layaway, choose your furniture, choose your monthly payments, and we'll lock in the price for one year. Everyone can do it. Buy your furniture with absolutely no interest, no fees, and no credit application. Price Protection, only at Jerome's. And now back to the Mikey Show. Always feeling a cold breeze. Woods. The best movie ever made. Footloose. Lauren. I'm all hot and bothered. I am. And Jake. Look, I like to climb and I like to eat edamame, okay? On FM 94.9. Pumpkin patch and Rebecca tells Jake or Ryan to pick out a pumpkin. He walks up to this giant pumpkin. Giant. I'm like, he doesn't know, babe. He's not picking that. He's a Charlie Brown. Yeah. Is he Charlie Brown?
Did you guys carve pumpkins? Not yet. It's too early. Oh, is it? I don't have any kids. Oh, gosh. They last about a week, no? Isn't there some pumpkins? Today's Tuesday, man. Monday is Halloween. You've got to do it over the weekend. I'm going to do it on Thursday, I think. I got an electric carver. Weird. Isolate. Like for turkey? Nope, for the pumpkin. I'll come in handy the rest of the year. The face is what gets me when she does it. It's this look on her face that is just puzzled. Puzzled. Maybe Jamie and I come over and help carve or something. Enough. You can't do it anymore. I'm carving a pumpkin with Matt. That's emotional terrorism. You're emotionally terrorizing people. Pumpkins aren't just for kids. Yeah, we tried it with the dogs. They didn't really care. They kept trying to eat it and burn the house down. They can eat pumpkin. No, not ours. Well, you guys could bake seats. I don't like doing it.
You don't like carving? I think it smells like butt. It smells so bad. When you first stick the knife in and that air comes out. What about the scooping out of stuff? Boring. Everybody in our family does one. Everybody does their own pumpkins. Irish people used to do turnips and then they got to America and there was a plethora of pumpkins. So they changed it to pumpkins. Imagine carving turnips. Ella B, think about this. The first pilgrim. that stuck a knife into a pumpkin and the fart comes out and they're like, let's eat it. Why would they ever have eaten that, what is it, a vegetable? Do you guys like pumpkin pie? It's a gourd. Yeah, but how did they figure that out? I know. It's a gourd. It's a constant thought in my brain. Always. How did they get to this? Yes. How did it get to this? How did it get here? How did something so disgusting?
like a pumpkin, eventually turn into something delicious in your mouth. Well, the same guy who made cheese. Think about this. Yeah, yeah. I thought it would be... It is a good idea. Is it? Yes, this is interesting. Or milk from a cow. Who thought that was a good idea? How is this different? I know. What about marijuana? No. What about... What about flour? Oh, yeah. That takes a lot. Don't you have to take wheat? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how you make it. Don't you like stone it down? Same way they do cocaine. You have to pulverize wheat to make flour. And then when you have this, you go, I'm going to bake something. What about yeast? If I add this, then it'll rise. If I put it with this chicken baby that hasn't yet hatched, I could probably make something delicious. What the hell? Accident. I bet that's how. I bet things were accidental. I bet somebody broke an egg into something and didn't want to waste it because you couldn't waste it. Maybe they just took anything that was possibly edible, threw it into the mix, and saw what happened. Hey, listen, the pumpkin, man, the pumpkin I don't get. I don't get the pumpkin either. In fact, when you make pumpkin pie, you buy a can of pumpkin pie goop. Pumpkin puree. Pumpkin puree.
Now, I don't know. Is pumpkin puree sweet? Yeah. Yes. It's okay. It's better with whipped cream on it. So you got to put sugar into it if you're making a pie. Put some cinnamon in there. I'll make you guys some pumpkin smoothies. Mmm. L-O-B. Oh, my gosh. I almost threw up on my car. You don't like pumpkin? I don't like the seasonal pumpkin bit. I like pumpkin pie and that's all. Dude, pumpkin me up. I'll put whipped cream on top. Oh, make it so, number one. How about just bringing a pumpkin pie? No, smoothies. I don't want smoothies. How do you, do you, what do you use? There'll be the pumpkin puree. Put some cinnamon in there. Some coconut milk. A cup of sugar. That's what would make it good. A cup of sugar would make it okay. You guys can add your own sugar. That's your answer to everything. Yes. It's supposed to be a spoonful of sugar. Helps the melody go down. The melody? Medicine. I always think it's melody. It's medicine. I always think it's melody. You said it before. A spoonful of sugar helps the melody go down. It still sounds right in my head. It still in my head sounds right. It sounds good. I like it. I guess if you're listening to the Coldplay and Rihanna, you might need a spoonful of sugar to make that melody go down. What is it? What do they actually say? Medicine. That doesn't even make sense. Medicine is yucky. And should Mary Poppins make some take medicine in the movie?
Watched it many times. Yes, many times. I've never seen any of those. Oh, gosh. They seem like a beating. And Mary Bobbins is long, by the way. It is a long kids movie. When you were a kid, do you remember Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Yes. Dick Van Dyke. Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Jasper still loves Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Really? Maybe you get him some movies from this century. Why? Are you making him watch? He comes on the TV. They're awesome. Nosferatu. They're awesome. He likes Lawrence Welp's CD. Lawrence Welp. Our daughter loves them, too. Yeah. We just checked out Black Knobs and Broomsticks from the library. Absolutely. I got a VCR, and I ain't throwing it away. Yeah. All right? You know what? He doesn't need special effects to make him happy. I don't even know what Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is. The flying car? Oh, it's cool. He likes the rescuers, too. Big fan. Little kids. Crazy uncle. I heard an announcement a couple days ago that they're going to release all the Star Wars movies in 3D. Wow. I am such a Star Wars nerd. Adam just bought a 3D TV. He just bought a 3D TV for $1,000. Who? Adam.
He's got a new TV for his house. No way. I hear those are really great. My dad's got one. You have to wear the glasses when you watch? Yes. If you want to watch the 3D, you do. But if you just want to watch it, it does both. I want to take Jake so bad to a 3D movie. But I don't know if people would clap in there. Nobody claps. Nobody claps. My daughter hates them. She's four and a half. You know how they have the ones at SeaWorld, like the 40? I think it may be the 40 where water squirts at you. She's like, I'm out. She's out. Takes off her glasses. That's what I think the new experience should be for a movie theater. If a woman walks into a room on the screen, there should be a little bit of... perfume that's in the air. I had an idea with that for cell phones that I could text you a smell. How? I don't know. That was my idea. But like what? You open your phone and it goes and I'm like, oh, like a fart or something or like cologne or like, oh my God, smell this room. Can I send it to you? I would not want to receive or send smells. I would love it. I would love it.
Oh, you can't. That's my idea. If I opened it, I would delete it before I ever... Do not open. Did you ever think you'd see a day where you could look at stuff on your phone? I mean, you could watch a movie on your phone. Why not text the smell? Oh, I think that they could probably eventually do it. I want it. No, I want it. Before any of that, Apple is releasing a television next year. I can't wait. I'll get it in five years. Steve Jobs said that that is the one thing that he was really upset that he was not going to get to see to fruition. Yeah. Was the Apple television. Maybe get surgery earlier. He should have. That was the deal. He said he regrets not doing it sooner. But that TV will do everything. With the herb bit instead. I bet it's going to be beautiful. There's no question. And I bet. You know what? I bet the bit will be. I'm going to say it before it happens to see if it's if it does. But my guess. is that it will be as thin as an iPad. I bet also there's a deep Blu-ray right in the side. Just stick that disc in. Wireless. Oh my God, it's going to be beautiful. White or black. Totally synced up with everything. Same charger as your Mac laptop. You don't need a charger, right? Maybe it squirts little smells out at you. Yes, I love it. Smell-o-vision. Smell-o-vision.