The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/26/11
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
parenting testunusual baby namestransgender rightsathlete comebackpolitical advertisinggame show gameplaycandy tastingpersonal boundarieseggballinchaz bonoterrell owens
Mikey, Woods, Lauren O'Brien (L.O.B.), Jay, and Chris engage in memorable segments ranging from the egg-carrying parenting test for Ballin' to a heated debate about Chaz Bono's transgender identity. They discuss Terrell Owens' lonely workout, dissect a controversial Herman Cain ad featuring a smoking advisor, play a lively round of Catch Phrase with celebrity clues, and tackle a blindfold candy challenge. The show also includes a candid conversation about Woods' "ass out" hugging habit and its implications for personal boundaries.
What happened, in order
Egg Carrying Bit
Lauren O'Brien must carry an egg named Ballin' for a week to test her parenting skills.
Unusual Name Ballin'
Jay proposes discussing weird kid names like Ballin', leading to a T-Rex comparison and disbelief about the name's existence.
Chaz Bono Transgender Discussion
The crew debates Chaz Bono's gender identity, bathroom usage, and societal reactions to his transition.
Terrell Owens Open Workout
Terrell Owens holds a solo workout with no NFL scouts attending, sparking sympathy and critique about his career.
Herman Cain Commercial Smoking
Discussion of Herman Cain's campaign ad where his advisor smokes a cigarette, questioning judgment and values.
Catch Phrase Game: Celebrity Clues
The team plays Catch Phrase guessing celebrities like Heidi Klum, Padme, and Kanye West from cryptic hints.
Blindfold Candy Challenge
Participants taste candy blindfolded, correctly identifying Snickers, Almond Joy, and Twix.
Ass Out Hug Debate
Woods explains his habit of giving "ass out" hugs, sparking a conversation about boundaries and intentions.
People mentioned
MikeyJayWoodsLauren O'BrienChrisM1 NinjaChaz BonoTerrell OwensHerman CainAshton KutcherSean Merriman
36,949 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
That's 570-1949. Want everyone to know that we do that every morning. You are free to call M1s. M1 Nation, our Mikey Show listeners. And the one thing that you know that is different about you as a Mikey Show listener is you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. Know the rules. And those is the rules. So if you call us, you got to do that. I'm Mikey. I am 41 and need to lose some weight and, you know, still just thinking about it. Jay, don't say a word. Not going to say a word. And, yeah, I knew Jay was going to jump in and I just wanted to kind of, you know. Preemptive. And he's already got his finger on a button. He wants to hit a button. He's waiting. He's just waiting. And, you know, I'm just trying to.
Just trying to share. Be transparent. Typical fat guy. Ouchie. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36, clean shaven. Sex pervert. Yeah. Why do you shave it? Why do you do this? I did this because I was doing that event last night and I wanted to look presentable somewhat. How'd it go? It was good. It was really good. I heard you got voted off. What? What? I heard you got voted off. I was emceeing a charity event. Sometimes kids with special needs. Not the Dancing with the Stars? It's just not funny. Oh, boy. Sometimes kids can't afford musical instruments, and we try to help them get musical instruments. I thought you were doing good on Dancing with the Stars. You were looking good. You know, autistic kids. Mike, your son's autistic. You almost had it. Probably not the best thing. Here's the deal.
Jay, you know how when a guy has a pit bull and he's holding his leash and he's holding him back and the dog is flipping out and just trying to get, wants you to let go so bad? That's Jay this morning with the Chaz Bono line. Probably the whole drive in. What should I do? Should I wait? I bet he had both hands on the wheel and he was jumping in. I'm going to get in. I'm going to get in. Last chance. I mean, this guy's going to be gone forever now. He looks like him. By the way, that's how he began his dialogue with Woods this morning. First thing. First thing this morning. What are you going to do with all your spare time? And we said... Came up with that one in the car, Mike. What do you think? I had to put it into my recorder in the car, and I played it a couple times when I went to the bathroom so I could get it. I wanted to get this one. This one, I wanted it to be real good. We all go, what are you talking about, Jay? I almost said, what are you going to do with that spare tire, too? Either way works. I meant his midsection. Either way works. He even does it off the air. Oh, yeah. What? It's his bit.
Lauren O'Brien, she's the blonde, blue-eyed girl sitting over here. How's Ballin'? He's good. He's taking a nap right now. I see him. Now, if you don't know what we're talking about, Ballin' is... I've become quite attached to this little angel. That's right. Ballin' is her little angel. Hey, Ella B., if you let... I'm Uncle Woods. Woods is good with kids. I'm good with kids. I know, but you just handed him over without... Any hesitation at all. Because I'm good with kids. That's why. Thank you. Watch his head. Okay. So we decided that we're going to do the old thing that they did in high school where you have to carry around an egg for a week. And so we're going to see what kind of mom L.O.B. is going to be. She's got to carry around an egg for a week. And his name is Ballin. Ballin. Why wouldn't it be? Of course. It's a common name now. Common name. Yeah.
Ballin'. Where's Ballin'? Has anyone seen Ballin'? Has anyone seen him? Now, why are we making that joke? Because Jay thought that would be a great bit on the Mikey Show. He said, why don't we talk about unusual names for kids? And we said, like what? And he goes, like, Ballin'. I looked it up online. You can look it up online. And we go, what are you talking about? And he said, you know, like... When people name their kids weird stuff like Ballin. Ballin. Strange names. Ballin Esparza. Yeah. And we've never heard of that. Nobody's ever heard of that. No one ever has. People have heard of it. No, they haven't. And so Jay says, you know, man, like, imagine he's four years old and people come in and they're like, has anyone seen Ballin? And I mean, it was, we stared at him dead silence. It was like seeing a T-Rex out the window. I was like, that couldn't be. Is that a T-Rex? It couldn't be a T-Rex. Am I just tired? I'm exhausted. I'm not getting it. Wake up. A T-Rex in Mission Valley is more common than the name Ballin. There's no question. There is no question. I see Facebook posts all the time about Ballin now. Not a person named Ballin. Yeah, they're looking for him. Well, they haven't found him. Because he doesn't exist. Just like Liberty for All. Yeah, Liberty for All. You said that you know someone named Liberty for All. I do.
You haven't produced that person. Well, just because you've known somebody when my kids were young. I think it was even in kindergarten. Right. We've looked on Facebook. Can't find them. Can't. Well, that is if you're out there. Can you find any relatives for alls? Yeah, for sure. For alls. For all. For all. Did you guys ever meet my cousin? Declaration of Independence? No. You didn't. What's the last name? Last name is Of Independence. Oh. And so they named him Declaration, obviously. Do you know my uncle Bill? Bill Of Rights? Oh, Bill Of Rights. He's a hell of a guy. He's a hell of a guy. Of Rights. Yeah, Bill Of Rights. Bill Of Rights. So anyway, L.O.B.'s taking care of a little ball and the egg, and we're going to see how she does all week. She's taking pictures. She took a picture last night of her reading a ballin' bedtime story. And it was very cute. You can see it on our fan page. If you go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Jay is our producer. He's 48 years of age. And he does like to bust some bees around here. Yes, he does. All in love. That's right. It's all in love. And then Chris is...
Our phone screener, his name is Chris. It's Chris. It's Crap. That's Crap. That'll be so over it. I am. She's so over it. Now, here's the word of the day. Bookshop. If you hear me say bookshop sometime between now and ten, call her nine, get to go see that Yo Gabba Gabba live. You got kids, that is the ticket. All right? This is M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Hi. Good morning, guys. How are you? I'm good. How's ballin'? Ballin's good. Ballin's doing good. It's being very good this morning. Very quiet. Yeah, I was just calling to say good morning. I've been up and working for about two hours now, so I'm stoked that you guys are here to join me. What do you do, Ninja? I am an educator, and currently I work creating SAT and ACT questions. Wow. Can you give us an example of one? Absolutely. Yes. Okay, so...
Well, it's kind of hard because normally you read a passage and then you have to answer questions about author's purpose, tone, word description. I never took an SAT test because I didn't graduate from high school. Wow, you never took the ACT or SAT? No. Holy smokes. None of that. And so I'd be interested in hearing a question. Okay, let's see. Okay, here's one. So you don't have to read the passage to understand the type of question, but the question is... In line 53, the phrase, we don't have much time, is an example of which literary device? Is it F, foreshadowing, G, illusion, H, allegory, or J, hyperbole? I should know this. Okay. I believe we don't have enough time. We don't have much time. We don't have much time. We don't have much time. We don't have much time. It's either hyperbole or it is... What was the first one? Foreshadowing. Yeah, I mean, you cannot say that it's not foreshadowing. You can't say that. I can say that. How is it not foreshadowing? Because it's talking about the present, though. It's just a statement. We don't have much time. But that means that you can see...
You're foreshadowing that we're going to run out of time. No, but I think when you're going to run out of time, you know you're going to run out of time. So you're not foreshadowing anything, in my opinion. In my opinion. In my humble opinion. Well, Mikey, actually you are correct. Look at you. Oh, wow. Yeah, and the way that you can figure it out is actually eliminating the other ones. An illusion is a reference to something, like maybe a biblical reference. Mikey? I forgot what allegory is. An allegory is like a story that matches to illustrate. I tell a story to illustrate something. Yeah, like one of the most popular allegories is the novel Animal Farm. Oh, yeah. Yep, and then hyperbole is overstatement or exaggeration. So yeah, if you can eliminate those three, then you know the correct answer. Look at you. I thought it could have been a hyperbole. Yeah, I mean, I did too. That was the only thing. I couldn't see it as foreshadowing. Hey, Ninja, so you actually come up with those. That is correct. Gosh darn, man. You've got to be smart to do that. I kind of want her to email me some of those questions. Me too. Can you do that? Yes, for sure. I don't know how much fun it'll be for you guys. You know what, Ninja? I never took an SAT test. Maybe I should... I can send you one. Yes. Don't I have to be timed? Hours. You sure do. And when I create them, I indicate how much time you have for each section.
I trust that my students are being diligent and, you know, really keeping track of that. I would love to know what my SAT scores are. It's something I've never known. I'm 41 years old, never graduated from high school. Maybe that would be a really cool bit. Yeah, we can totally make that happen. And does it tell you? So when you know what your SAT scores are, it kind of gives you an indication of what sort of school you can get into. Absolutely, yeah. You can actually look up all that information for free online. So if you know that you got, you know, the score in math, the score in reading, the score in writing, then you can see what certain schools accept. You know, everything from a Yale school to San Diego State. Ninja, listen, I now, I must do it. I must. I must do it. I can't not do it. I have to know. Do you know I, hang on a second, I'm going to put you on hold and let Chris get your information, okay? Okay, okay. You know, I have dreams about not graduating to this day. We all do. Oh, you do? Yeah, we all do. We have that deal where I wake up and I go, I missed the final. I didn't know I had this last. I've had you get out of bed at my old house in San Marcos. I had to walk downstairs into my office and stare at my diploma and go, all right, it's good. Honestly. And I'm 35 at the time looking at it going.
USOB. You did graduate. That bad. Graduate high school? College. Okay. Yeah. But graduation, nonetheless. Mine are both college and high school. I'll not know that I was registered for something, or I'll realize that there's a test that counts for 80% of your grade that I didn't know was happening, stuff like that. Mine's a combination to my locker. I'm standing there, and I can't get in my locker, and I need my book. I'm like, I can't. I can't get. Yeah, I've had that. Well, fascinating, dude. This is from last night's Dancing with the Stars. Oh, boy. On this sixth week of competition, the couple with the lowest overall combined total and therefore leaving right now is... I'll just say it. Chaz and Lacey. And then they give celebratory music. Congratulations. Congratulations, you are gone. Congratulations, you. He was in a Phantom of the Opera getup. I saw a picture. Oh, gosh. Oh, and boy. First mistake. Was it not good? They allow parting words. Did you know that? Of course. I did not. I did not. Let's hear what his parting words were. I know it probably didn't end the way you wanted it to.
But I hope you have no regrets for having done it. Oh, absolutely. You know, look, I came on this show because I wanted to show America a different kind of man. And I know that if there was some... Well, you still have lady parts. And so that is a different type of man. Yeah, you got a long way to go, too. Yeah, I've never known a... A lady man? Yeah. I have not. Unless I didn't know it. A lady boy? I thought you worked with a lady boy. Oh, I did. Yeah, you did. What am I talking about? You did know a lady boy. Yeah. Did he officially? We didn't know if he officially got the surgery. Yeah, he did. Because they called us into a meeting and said when he comes back, he's going to be using the ladies room. But we don't know with what apparatus, right? Oh, yeah. They said that he was out having an operation. That's a heavy operation, I imagine. And the women were really mad. There were a few women that were mad.
Do women ever get mad? They were upset because they were like, you know, they just thought it was weird that they were going to be in there and he was going to be in there. And our boss was reassuring them, this is not a man anymore. This is a woman now. What do you do? What if some girl wanted to be a dude? Well, like Chaz Bono, they worked here and we're in the bathroom. He's like, hi, Mikey. You're like, oh boy, it's a girl in here. It's a guy. Who cares anyway? But it's not a guy. Chaz isn't a guy, but he'd pee in the men's bathroom. Yeah, what are they going to see? Are you afraid they're going to come on to you? No, of course not. But isn't it a little odd? No, I don't think so at all. I've been in, what do they call it? Thailand with ladyboys. I know you have. Co-ed. I know you have. Co-ed, where you could just go and eat their doors and girls would go in one and guys would ride next door. Where was this at freaking Studio 54? Even at Woodstock, there were co-ed showers. Yeah, but that was Woodstock, bro. There was also people high on mushrooms. That was 1969, bro. Making love in the mud. Yeah, they were making love in the mud. On TV when I was growing up, my whole life would have been different. And so I dedicate everything I did to all the people out there like me, and especially the kids and teens who are struggling. You know, you can have a wonderful, great life and be successful and happy. Well, you got all tens for that, my friend. There you go. Kind of successful. I mean, you didn't win. You got to win. Yeah, you got to win.
My dad said that he looks very uncomfortable and just is not a good dancer. He's a big dude. Yeah. He's a big cat. He's a big dude. Makes me look fit. Mm-hmm. So you know. You don't look like Chaz Bono, by the way. That's identical. No. No, you don't. Identical. Identical. Identical Woods. It is. I know it is. It's fine. I've come to terms with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like he came to terms with his bit, I've come to terms with being his twin. Yeah. You're a little thinner. Little. Little. Taller. Yeah, maybe taller. He's probably a better dancer. The following story is a little bit sad. It's a little, there is, there's kind of a humor in it, I guess, but it's what happened with Terrell Owens. Yeah, it's, I've never been a huge fan of the guy, but I freaking, I felt bad yesterday. So he had an open workout. He's a very proud guy. Is that the right word? Proud? Boastful. Boastful, arrogant, egocentric, douchey. Conceited. Conceited, right. He had an open workout in Calabasas, California yesterday. No teams showed up. No representatives. Now, when you say no teams. I mean no teams from any city or state. So one showed up? No teams. No representatives.
Ouch. From any team. Oh, gosh. In any city, in any state. Not even someone's cousin? Nobody. The cousin of the general manager of the Lions? No. What about the twin sister of the half owner? No one. Of the Ravens? No one. Yeah, he had torn his ACL. So he had surgery in early April. And everyone thought, hey, he's done, obviously. But he's like, I'm not done. I'm going to play again. So he goes out. He runs a couple drills. Does not run a 40-yard dash. By the way, they're showing it on television right now. And the saddest thing is, like Woods just said, he did go through with the workout. Oh, yeah. He continues to work out. I mean, but he continues to work out as if he's working out for. teams and scouts, but no one's, you know, it's as he's doing it. Oh, man. Well, so ESPN's Rachel Nichols was out there, and she asked him how he felt about what went down. What do you think about the fact that there weren't NFL scouts here? I know that you guys were hoping to have some. I'm pretty stoked. I'm excited about it. Excited about it. I didn't really expect him to come. Yeah, I mean, scouts come out. You know, it's not a problem. I feel confident. Well, why would it be?
Isn't it, in fact, the very definition of a problem? Yes. I want to work out for NFL teams. No NFL teams show up. Is there anything else that could be more indicative of a problem? Maybe an anvil falling on your head in the middle of your workout. That's it. That. You know, God has put me in a situation to be here today, to show people that with hard work, you can come back from anything. And again, you know, I'm sure, you know, I don't need all 32 teams out there, regardless if there is none here. I just need one. About one. That's all he needs. Just one. There wasn't any. There was none. I felt bad for him. I don't like him, but I feel bad. And it's that aging athlete syndrome where you see one of your favorite players. Look, I'm a Yankee fan. I see a few of them. I'm like, maybe you just hang him up, pal. Just hang him up. I don't want to see you with the Florida Marlins trying to get a couple of at-bats a season next year. Just hang him up when it's time. Well, dude, I don't know. I mean, maybe I'm out on a limb here. kind of tend to think that he's got to have a little bit left in the tank. You think he's got something? I think he's got enough to be on a team. Maybe if he's not the number one guy. Well, he's not going to be a number one. He's not a number one. He's 37 years old. He's still got enough left in the tank. I think people are off-put by his... He's a cancer. Third. That's it. And it's his attitude. And they're like, we're not... Listen, for an old T.O. For a...
In his prime T.O., maybe we'd put up with him. Not a 37-year-old. I'll watch the footage. I'm not saying he's completely out of the game. It's the Tiki Barber syndrome, too. He tried to come back. Nobody wanted him. Why? Because the guy's a dirtbag. But Tiki Barber was no Terrell Owens. He was pretty good. And it's a statistical fact that when running backs after 30, it's a statistical fact that after a running back turns 30 years old, their production falls off the map. Just falls off the map. And it's a strange phenomenon in the body. Something happens. It's a breakdown. 29? Fine. It's just killing it. Yeah. After 30, the statistics fall off the map. There is a finding that came out of the University of North Carolina that says that influenza vaccine Might not be as effective for those that are obese. Like Mikey used to be. And kind of currently is. There's a translation on that was that the flu vaccine isn't as effective on obese people. Right. That's what I just said. He said like Mikey. Like Mikey. Used to be. These days. Possibly. Kind of still is. Oh boy.
These findings were published in the International Journal of Obesity. Why is Jay bouncing up and down in there? Because he can't tolerate himself. He's too much for him. It's coffee that's brewing over the top. It's boiling water that's coming over the top of the pan. Yeah, it's going... The funny thing is I don't have to say anything. Oh, wow. That's even worse. It hurts a little bit. Hey, are they going to give you four flu shots then? Gosh. Yeah, mate. They can't give you enough. Get through these somehow. Wood, how many are you going to get? You have to use a syringe that's the size of a bucket. Look at how fat you are. Settle. Fat boy. Okay, all right. Thanks for that one. It's a little rough. Yeah, I'm chubby enough that I was able to put on a black wig with bangs. How dare you. This is an Asian kid that, strangely enough, when I am clean shaven, I...
Yeah. Male, yes. It's a male Asian kid. Chubby little boy. Yes. Oh, wow. His dad is so proud. That is identical Whitney Houston. 100%. Identical Asian Whitney Houston. Identical Asian Whitney Houston. Identical 12-year-old Asian Whitney Houston. You can tell me if you've seen it. Tell me if you haven't. Have you guys seen the Herman Cain commercial? No. Yes. You saw it? I've seen it. You watched it? I thought it was a parody. No. I'll watch it now. What is it? I want to know. Let me tell you on the radio. Okay. You thought it was a parody? What do you mean? I wonder if I saw a different one than you. No, it's a real commercial with him at the end of it. Yes. I thought it was a fake commercial. Oh, yeah. That's how freaking crazy it is. I'm so out on Herman Cain. I can't even begin to tell you how out on Herman Cain I am.
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Well, we've got some slippery roads, so you want to be careful as you head in wherever you're going this morning. In El Cajon, the 8 westbound after Mollison Avenue, an accident on the right shoulder. It's a three-car crash. Oceanside, the 5 southbound after the 78. We've got an accident on the right shoulder. They have moved it out of lanes, but there is still a lot of debris in the roadway. And it looks like Tecati on the 94 at the 188. There's a truck that went over the embankment. This report brought to you by Walgreens this Halloween. Just go to Walgreens where bags of snack-sized candy like Snickers bars. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are just $1.99. Shopping simplified with Walgreens. There's a way. Restrictions may apply. See your store for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like beat my face and go. Woods, if 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Line.com. You want to do a website. You want to do maybe business cards or anything you want to do. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared's website, and it is amazing. And he's probably the best in the country doing that. Okay. Word of the day is bookshop, and I will mention it.
Sometime between now and 10. And you've got to have really good ears. Hawk ears. It was really cool. I taught Jake yesterday what hawk eyes are. Saw a hawk up in the sky and showed him. And I told him that that hawk can see a little mouse on the ground from all the way up there. And you saw a human being learning that the first time. Did he love it? Oh, yeah. His eyes got real big and he said, from there? I said, yeah, buddy. And it's just really cool to see a little kid realize like, oh, that's what hawks can do. It's cool. I almost told him about your dad, Woodsy. Yeah, it's his nickname. His nickname is Hawk because he's got great eyes. He can see things. He's got, isn't that the deal? I think it was the bee. I think it was the bee. Well, my brother and I had found an old softball shirt and we didn't know it. On the back of it, it said Hawk. And we started dying laughing. And he's been Hawk ever since.
They nicknamed him Hawk. And it was because of his nose? I think he'd broken his nose. He's broken his nose like 12 times. Right. So it's got a little... But he looks good. Sharp guy. Sharp cat. Let's see. We're going to play Catch Phrase in a second. Oh, boy. So get ready to call us. Well, call us now. Pick a team. You're going to pick me and Woods or L-O-B-N-J. You know what I love about Catch Phrase? I can't get screwed at it like I get screwed every other game. So it's great. Wah, wah, wah, wah. There it is. Poor little guy. Woods, you don't. I do. And M1 Nation agrees with me from yesterday. One person. No, a bunch of people. A bunch. A bunch. A bunch. Like four. Every time we play a game, Woods feels he gets hosed. I do get hosed. It's the squeaky wheel bit. Yeah. It's not the squeaky wheel bit. It's the really, really loud wheel. It's the guy that continuously just gets hosed. The screaming wheel. Yeah, the screaming wheel. That's the rules. You're supposed to scream. Yeah, but if somebody else is already screaming the answer. What's already? Then why would you join in twice as loud and say it four times? Okay. I got it. Let me tell you about this Herman Cain commercial. Oh, so weird. So, Herman Cain has a commercial. Who's Herman Cain? He's a GOP candidate for the United States of America. He wants to be president.
And for two seconds I was interested in this guy. And couldn't think that he's more of a clown now. Oh, man. He is the former CEO of Godfather Pizza. And he puts this commercial out. And it's one of his senior advisors. It would be one of his senior advisors. And he's telling you all about Herman Cain. At the very end of the commercial, he puts a cigarette up to his mouth, inhales, and exhales. And then Herman Cain comes on the screen. And it says underneath him, you know, Herman Cain for president. And Herman Cain is looking very serious. And then right towards the end of it, he gets a big smile on his face. And he kind of shakes his head like, yeah. So weird. Now, you may be wondering.
Like the rest of the universe? Why? Why did he do it? What is the point? What's it about? Well, the senior advisor says, they just said, you know, let me be me. And I smoke cigarettes. And I don't, I'm not trying to endorse smoking. I don't think anybody should smoke. But that's who I am. And I'm watching it and I'm going, hey, jackhole. Don't show kids. You want to be president of the United States and that's your bit? Right. Wait, was it Herman smoking or was the chief advisor? Right. Obama smokes. And everybody knew it, but he didn't show it. No, everybody didn't. It wasn't like a big part of his thing. I didn't know. You didn't know? No, I said it on the radio and you probably didn't know until I said it. No, I knew.
It's a very cowboy move. It's a very cowboy, the way that they did it. And then it's got weird music playing along with it. Yeah, it does. And you know what, man? It's like smoking causes cancer, you jackhole. Yeah. Smoking causes cancer. I wonder about the people that have lost relatives from cancer. Well, I have. I'm not offended by it. Yeah, I didn't take it that way. I just thought it was strange. I've lost two grandfathers of lung cancer. I mean, I smoke, but... It doesn't offend me. It offends me as a freaking parent. Dude, then you should rail against every freaking TV show in the world that you see. Okay, if we're talking about TV shows and smoking on TV shows, maybe I will. But this is a guy running for the president of the United States. And one of the things that he really wants you to see is that he's so like one of us.
That he lets his advisor smoke? That in his television commercial, he wants to highlight and get attention for the fact that the guy at the very end sticks his cigarette up, inhales and exhales. Right. Now, if what Herman Cain is running for is like cool senior in high school, and he's trying to get a part in a movie for the cool senior in high school, and he's trying to be James Spader, okay. But he's going to be the president. So what's your beef with the president that has an advisor that smokes and shows it? It looks classless. Dude, it's freaking weird. There's no question it's weird to have in a commercial. It's really weird. But that's like you being held responsible for actions that are mine. You know what I mean? I am if I approve it. But it is. Do we not get it? Dude, aren't we supposed to stand for values and crap?
So if you smoke, you don't have values? Dude, you're showing little kids like this is what. How about this, Woods? How about what's something else that's bad for you and we know it? Cheesecake. No, I mean, it's not ranking dipping. It's the same thing. It's OK. Yeah, it's the same thing. OK, yeah. So let's say that's the same thing. OK, so let's say at the end of the commercial, you know, he's talking about Herman Cain and right at the end of it, he takes a thing. Snuff. Copenhagen. And he puts a big dip in. I have no beef with that. He's a grown ass man. I can care less. Honestly, it was trying to be like, I'm like Clint Eastwood. Yeah, I'm a cowboy. I think he was trying to be like, I'm a cowboy. I'm American. It wasn't meant to be funny, by the way. No, yeah. I don't think so. It was kind of meant to be hard ass. You want your president to be presidential. That's not the president. It wasn't the president. But why is it in his... commercial for him. I don't know. He's trying to say he's got a cowboy working for him and we're going to do things like it used to be done. That's the impression I got. Let me tell you, this dude in this commercial, he doesn't look like any cowboy. He doesn't? He looks like a nerd. He's trying to act like Clint Eastwood. That's what I really think. L.O.B. He doesn't look like a cowboy. He's a nerd. You know what he looks like? He looks like he's the guy that works in engineering at Microsoft.
Blasting the cig. And when he puts the cigarette up to his mouth, by the way, it's the most unnatural looking thing. Really? Yes. I gotta see it. It's weird. I gotta see it. That's so weird. Listen, I will give you that strength. Dude, you're running for president. Right. And this is, you obviously looked at it and said, yeah. You stamped it. You said, this represents me. I know. I know. And it's something clearly unhealthy. But boy, you know, some of the political commercials that I've seen over the years. are 50 times more offensive with the name-calling and jabbing and lies that they do than a guy smoking a friggin' cigarette. This is new. This is something new. Totally. We've never seen it before. And for me, it is a part of the, like, crap of the culture. It's weird. It's weird. It's crap of the culture. It's culture crap. It's culture crap. It's very judgmental about smokers, though. And as a smoker, I'm offended. Oh, my gosh. We are people. We are people just like you. I don't want little kids seeing that, dude. Well, then don't take him to 7-Eleven. Don't take him out in public. Don't take him to the movies. Don't let him watch MTV. Put him in a cage. Because it's everywhere, man. He's talking about role models. Role models. What's a role model? What's a freaking role model? I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what a role model should be. The President of the United States.
That's why Obama was embarrassed of the cigarette thing. He didn't come out to do a speech. He's like, hey. Good evening, America. If he was a good president, I could care less if he did. I could care less if he did what he said he was going to do. Yeah, me too. I mean, it's a freaking cigarette. The guy's not blasting rails or tying off. I mean, it's a cigarette. How about he puts a condom on on TV? Well, that's a little extreme. Why is it? Because it's his wiener. He's nudity. It's a cigarette. And it's his advisor. So you know how many kids start smoking each year because of that? Because of Herman Cain's freaking advisor? You started smoking because you saw Footloose. That's right. I did because Kevin Bacon was cool. How'd that work out for you? That's what he's trying to do. I don't think so. Look cool? I don't know what he's doing. Maybe he said, I'm a smoker. Look, dude. There's a picture of me that our old photographer took of me smoking a cigarette. It was on my blog for a long time.
A long time. Dude. And I took a lot of grief about it. But I said, you know what? Bro. This is me. Why'd you take it down? Because I switched pictures. Well, you're doing it because you were adopting a kid, though, right? Maybe. Yeah. But I still told them I smoked. I still told them I smoked. And it didn't look good for you as a person that's trying to adopt a kid. Right. Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now I'm interested, though. Why would you approve that going up? Why wouldn't I? If you're so offended by cigarettes. Hang on a second. Question by question. And I'll answer that. Okay. I think that it did highlight who you are. Totally. Okay. Now, you took it off when you were trying to adopt a kid. I think that was when. Because you didn't want. It was. No, I took it down because a listener asked me to. That's the first time, and it's never been up since. I took it down because a listener asked me to. And it was maybe four months into our deal here. Okay. So it wasn't because of the kid. I would have, though. Totally. If it was still up there, I totally would have. Well, here's the thing.
If I were running for president of the United States, I would have never allowed you to be somebody that represents me and paint that portrait. Because whatever you put on TV to advertise yourself is a portrait and representation of what you represent. I get it. And he is clearly letting the world know that he. is okay with this right he's clearly letting the world know there's a guy that works for me that smokes cigarettes what would you in my opinion why is he showcasing it i don't think he's showcasing it isn't he it's a part of who that guy is and it's not it's all he did was say yep let's put that on i don't think he's glorifying or showcasing it I mean, it's in a commercial. I can't figure out if Woods is being serious. I am. I think it's absurd to get, like, the values of America are because he's smoking a cigarette. There's a glint in your eye. No. Dude, honestly, I would tell you if I was trying to rile you up. All right. I think it's absurd. M1 Jesse from San Marcos. Hey. Hi. I YouTubed the commercial, and to me, it was way less about the smoking, and it looked more like he was imparting, you know, it's like the good old boy club.
Like a godfather mentality. You know, like we sit in rooms behind closed doors, smoke cigarettes, and talk about how to run the country. Yeah. I mean, that's how it came across to me. Whether he was smoking or not, I mean, that's absurd to put in a commercial anyway. Right. I mean, to me, just period. So the absurd... If you're running to be the president of the good old boys club, I think that you're doing a good job. But to be president of the United States... But that is the Republican Party. They're seen as the good old boys. Absolutely. The Republican Party is also seen as, well, by their very nature, they're supposed to be conservative and about family values. The liberal agenda is more... Liberal. Like, hey, we should be liberal about things. Okay, but on the same token where there's supposed to be good old boys and about family values, I mean, look at, I don't want to go into the whole political standpoint behind it, but I mean, it is. It's like, this is what we believe and how we believe you should live.
But you know what? When it gets down to brass tacks, this is how we're going to sit down and make our decisions. Well, I think that's going to paint the end for Herman Cain. It could. If a scream knocked that other guy out. Howard Dean. Howard Dean. If that knocked him out of the race, this could very well bury this guy. Yeah. Thank you for the call. To me, it just goes drastically against the conservative viewpoint. What do you think about cigars? Same? Yes. Or what about a whiskey? I thought that. I'm like, what if he had taken a shot? Because, hey, man, the guy loves scotch. He really loves scotch. And that's who he is. Right. So why don't we have him take a shot of scotch? Would you be offended if he was sitting there talking and there was a drink in front of him that was obviously a glass of scotch? Would that offend you? I would think that the person that did it is a moron. I think it's absurd, but I'm not offended by it. That's my my deal is like I think it's obvious. It's probably not a good move, but I think I don't think I'm not offended. Like there's so much worse things that I could see, even with presidential candidates that offend me more. I think I got it like I'm OK with hunting and that is a gun right issue. Right. If if a presidential candidate came out.
and they actually show him blowing away a duck. Yeah, it'd offend you a little bit. I'm like, dude, that's just poor judgment. I agree with you. I agree with you. If he was eating a burger, it'd be weird, too. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, yeah. Let's see. A couple more calls. One more call. Let's do one more call, and then we... I really want to play the game, but this was so controversial. And, by the way, if this were a product... OK, if it were a product, it would be maybe good for the product because it would really get the product's name out there because people would be talking about it just like we're talking about it. But the problem is, is that this is not, I don't think, good talk for him. I don't think it paints him in a good light. I think it paints him in a bit of a wacky light, like he's a little bit of a wackadoo. And I think it paints him in a light of poor judgment. I'm telling you, after I saw that commercial, I thought, and it also looked Bush League. It just looked cheap. It looked like it cost about 12 bucks. I thought, I would vote for Obama. Really? Oh, yeah. Wow. If the two candidates were Obama and this guy, I'd vote for Obama because he's proven to me in that commercial, he's got really stupid judgment. Let's see. It's heavy.
M1, Nick from San Diego. Hey, Mikey, I just wanted to point out, you know, I think conservatism and the Republican Party kind of stands against regulation. So it might be just the point of saying, hey, if your decision, your personal choice is to smoke or, you know, taking it a step further, eat hamburgers. You know, you see Michelle Obama out there trying to dictate. what you can eat. Michelle, yeah, but I mean, I think what Michelle Obama's doing is great. She's trying to get kids to be healthy. I don't think she's trying to dictate what you can eat. She's trying to, you know, push a healthy lifestyle. I mean, that's nice. That's good. It's a good thing. It's a positive. It's a positive good thing. Republicans are like, stay out of my business. Yeah. Oh, for sure. And I think that that guy's trying to be like, let's get back to the way things used to be. Yeah, so let's get back to women not voting. Yeah. And let's get back to slavery. Let's get back to... Sorry, Herman. Let's get back to drinking at work. Let's get back to all of it. Have you ever seen Mad Men? Mad Men. Just like that. I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, boy. 570-1949. When we come back, we'll play. We will definitely be playing Catchphrase. Fun game. And we promise that we will not...
Cheat. Jerry. Jerry. I don't. Oh, my God. Cheat. What a bitch. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's Preston. Excellent job. Mikey. 570-1949. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Everyone surrounding you will be screaming, too. Because you'll all be surrounded. by Halloween's most hideous creeps and freaks in the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Scare Grounds. Yes, you can run, but you can't hide. They can. Prepare to embark on a journey to the dark side of Halloween. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your fight. The Scream Zone.
The Del Mar Scare Grounds has mutated into the Scream Zone. Now through Halloween, climb aboard the Haunted Hayride or enter the House of Horror or the Chamber. Three terrifying ways to scare the life out of you. For hours, tickets, and information, visit thescreamzone.com. Save time in line. Buy tickets now at thescreamzone.com. Spooky commercial. Good Lord, it scared me to death. Hey, it's your old pal Woodsy for Dave and Busters in Mission. It's one of my favorite places. And listen, we're doing Dave and Buster's again. It's going to be next Monday night for the San Diego Chargers against the Kansas City Chiefs. I'm going to be there from 5 to 7. It's Dave and Buster's right here in Mission Valley. And it's at 2931 Camino del Rio. And it's an awesome, awesome place. They've got so many games. Their food is amazing. My man Jay.
was there last weekend with his kid, Jasper. They were shooting hoops. You guys have a good time? Oh, my gosh. We loved it, dude. I'm coming back. I'm going to join you every time. Come on every time, man. It's a party down there. We have a great time. We play games. We shoot hoops. You get your sweat on, Dan. That's actually the only workout I get. It's Dave and Buster's. It's Mission Valley. Eat, drink, play football. Searching for a way to save on your wireless bill? You'll find it at Cricket. Now you can get a no-contract wireless plan starting at $35 a month with nationwide talk and text. And that money you're saving, that's all yours. And if that's not enough, how about a flat monthly rate with no annoying hidden fees? So Cricket's not only about finding you money, but a little less stress, too. Now that should get you talking and texting about how Cricket not only has smart monthly plans that save you money, but a variety of phones to meet your every need. So discover a little extra cash this month when you check out Cricket's no-contract monthly plan starting at $35 a month. Visit a Cricket store or MyCricket.com today. So smart, so Cricket. Coverage not available everywhere. See store for details. Terms and restrictions apply. Requires new activation.
Cricut has a great lineup of Android-powered smartphones starting at only $89.99, plus unlimited music included in select plans. Visit a Cricut store or mycricut.com today and save. October is here, everyone, so that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, L.O.B., at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And, of course, because it's Halloween, And we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Right after you run, you want to feast on something. And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5K. out there on Sundays and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about that. That's fearlessraces.com. We may not be able to lower the cost of gas, but we can do something about how many miles you will drive per gallon. Stop by your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store today and let us help you increase the performance of your car.
Simple things like replacing your air filter, changing worn-out spark plugs, and using fuel injector cleaner can add up to better fuel economy and big savings. There's an O'Reilly Auto Parts store close to you that has the name brands, low prices, and people who can help. Restore lost fuel economy and eliminate rough idle with Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner on sale for $4.99 at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner quickly cleans clogged injectors to increase fuel efficiency and help your vehicle run smooth. Lucas Fuel Injector Cleaner $4.99 at O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply, see store for details. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4, San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4, San Diego. Original. Inventive.
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This report is brought to you by Mossy Nissan. Don't miss out on Mossy Nissan's 2011 model year. In closeout, you could choose from the 500 closeout vehicles that are left. Call 888-50-MOSSY or go to any of their six convenient locations today. Well, we do have some backup here in El Cajon on the 8 westbound Mollison Avenue due to a two-car crash. Oceanside's delayed on the 78 westbound after El Camino Real. There is an accident over on that right shoulder. And Carlsbad, the 5 southbound, lost florist drive an accident on the right shoulder. Two cars, they are out of lane. Still a bunch of debris all over the road, though. This report brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. With Wawanese's recent change in car rates, many San Diego good drivers could save even more by just switching. Wow. Call 877-WA-WANESA. Or go to walwaniscus.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all. Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. I'd like to get back to the good old days where Jack Kennedy at least tried to hide his mistresses.
You know what I mean? Hey, do kids vote? They don't vote. No. Those commercials are not for kids, period. Did you see it yet? Yeah, watch. It's freaking weird. It's weird. It's very weird. The guy looks like a sex pervert. The guy that's smoking looks like a sex pervert. There's no getting around it. But that commercial, those aren't for children. And children don't vote. So he can give a rat's ass what kids think about. Or, or. He should. They're not for. That's what I. Dude. Hey, Jay. Why? Do they vote? I said. No, they don't vote. There you go. But they watch TV. Okay, then ban every other freaking show in the world. No, Woods, because those shows are supposed to be about that. They banned commercials on smoking for that reason. How did that get through? If you can't show somebody smoking, why did that one get through? I don't know. Because I don't think you can. I don't know. And it's not for children. Children don't vote. But children do watch TV. Yeah, they do. And it's going to run in all day parts. Yeah, it's going to run everywhere. So I'm sitting there with Jake, okay? That if I watch Jersey Shore, hey, man, you better be ready. Get ready. I'm going to watch Jersey Shore with Jake, my five-year-old. Well, what do I got to be ready for? Well, I got to be ready for him hearing about smushing. And I got to be ready for him to see some fistfights. And I got to be ready for that. Now, I'm sitting there and I'm watching a TV show with Jake that's, you know, not profane. It's not weird. It's not anything. Like, yo, Gabba Gabba.
Not Yo Gabba Gabba because Herman Cain probably wouldn't run an ad there. But let's say I'm watching the Today Show. Let's say you're watching Monday Night Football. Monday Night Football. Which, by the way, I've told you that I have some strong feelings about football too. Because I'll be sitting there, literally already have, been sitting there with my kid trying to watch a football game. And some chick comes crawling out of a well and is like... And it scares the crap out of kids. And I'm like, that didn't happen when I was growing up because what they would do is they would say, well, we can't show that during this commercial or during this program. And then we lost that value. It's funny, though, because Jay is like, well, I'm going to parent my kid and I'm going to tell them what they – I'm going to be the parent. Republicans traditionally are, listen, we're not going to impose on government. You're right. And I think, and this guy made a good point, I think he's just saying, listen, I'm not going to stick my head in where it doesn't belong. Herman Cain has had two types of cancer, okay? So obviously he's not a proponent of cancer. These aren't for children. I was watching Monday Night Football two weeks ago, and Jay Cutler on live television drops an F-bomb. Now you would think you're okay to watch a football game with your kid. You're not.
Okay, so it stretches across the board. I agree. It stretches across the board. He said, you tell Mike Martins to go F himself. Well, that's an exception. And they caught it. No, you hear it all the time. If you watch any sports for any amount of time, you hear it on the sideline. Woods, I don't see guys drop F-bombs on football games. Oh, man. I guess you don't read lips. I don't hear it. Well, that and you can hear it. I've got audio of it. I don't see guys giving interviews. It's not common for a guy to give an interview and drop an F-bomb. Well, you know what else isn't common? A presidential candidate smoking a cigarette. His buddy. And when Jay said, you said the conservative thing is government, get out of my life. And Jay said, just say that. Well, I agree. I agree that it's a weird-ass commercial. There's no getting around that. I'm telling you, and I'm open to hear, you know. whatever what people think we're gonna move on though yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry i got fired up because it means a lot to me uh the culture means a lot to me the culture means a lot to me and the fact that the culture's going in the freaking toilet
pisses me off. But the culture used to allow smoking. So they could have the same argument against the culture's too PC now. Right. And we do say that the culture is too PC now. PC and cancer is different, man. Yeah, but it's not an endorsement for smoking. You're allowed to. And see, I disagree. I think it kind of is. I don't think that was the point. I think that that's what it became. I think that's what it... That's one of the side effects. Yeah. Secondhand. Yeah. Secondhand viewing. Yeah. All right. Let's play catchphrase. The prize is the Batman Arkham City for Xbox or PS3, the most anticipated game of 2011. There you go. M1 hot for teacher from Claremont. What team do you want? Do you want L-O-B and J or me and Woods? I'll take Mike and Hollywood. There you go. Good luck. M1. Wow. M1 LE from El Cajon. Hello. Hi there. You've got L-O-B and J. Okay. And we're all playing fair. We need a mind meld. We need a mind meld. Don't cheat, Mike. Let's go entertainment. J, I'm not cheating. Don't you cheat. Entertainment. We have to teach people how the game works. We have a device, and we hold the device in our hands, and it tells us.
You know, what person or whatever in entertainment it is. We've got to try to describe that to our partner. Without using any of the words that's on the machine. Or waiting 15 minutes to answer. Make sure you hold it up to the microphone. The speaker is right here. All right. Hold it up there. All right. She is a former supermodel. Tyra Banks. Hosts some show on Bravo. Lock it off. Oh, not Tyra Banks. She's married to Seal. Oh, gosh. model runway girl, but what is her name? It would be like a blonde girl that has pigtails in. Yeah, give me some clues to get around her name. I cannot figure out who she is. I know she's like Australian or something. No, German. German, yeah, see close. Gosh, there's not really any clues other than who she is. It doesn't rhyme with anything. He gets it, he's cheating. I'm not, I have no clue who she is. The last name is almost like something you eat with a pit in it. Peach. What a prune is before it's a prune. A grape. What a prune is before it's a prune. It's not a peach. It's a purple fruit. I don't know what else to do. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is either. She's blonde. She's leggy. Yeah, she is. Yeah! I couldn't get it. Wow! Wow! Who is it? Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum. Wait, what were you saying, Klum? Like a plum. How about the Wildwood?
She went to live up on the hill with Heidi. The show Heidi. How about Fleiss? Oh, yes. That would have been good. Come on, LLB. Hindsight is 2020, LLB. It is 2020. All right. Team two gets points. All right. Are you ready? Dang it. It's mind-melding. It's mind-melding. Here we go. You're going to hit start. He just had an affair here in town. Oh, Ashton Kutcher. Yep. Oh, my gosh. What was the princess on Star Wars 2? Princess, oh. What was her name? Natalie Portman? What? No, but what was her character name? The princess on Star Wars 2? Do you remember Star Wars 2? I mean, the princess on Star Wars. I don't know. All I know is Leia. No, no. She was... Carrie Fisher? Mikey has... It's an eye... Pod, pad, phone. Yes, it's the first thing he said. Pad.
Pod. And you call another word for your mother is... Pod mother? Pod mom. No, it was the first thing you said. The first thing you said was I... I pad? Yes. Yes! Padma. Oh. Padme. Padme. Padme. That is impossible. There's no way. There's no way. There was no way you were going to get Padme. Team two gets a point. Dang. How were they supposed to get that? Next or start? Start. All right, ready? Yeah. Oh, married to Tom Cruise. Oh, come on, Mike. No, I swear. Mike. That jacks me up. Katie Holmes. Yep. Yes, it does jack you up. Yeah, when I get on, when you. Oh, the band that sucks now that does techno, scientists, clocks. Chris Martin. Coplay. I don't think they suck now. I like them. She used to be married to, hey, hello, hey.
Denise Richards. She has a great butt. Known for her butt. Kim Kardashian. Jennifer Lopez. No, it's... Jennifer Love Hewitt. No, it's... Keep going. There's a motorcycle shop in town with her last name. Sports. Ben Davidson? No, no. The Rabbit's wife. Rabbit's wife. Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba. She's not known for her butt. She is known for her butt. She is in my world. She's got a great butt. She's so confused. You ready? I'm ready. It's a movie with George Clooney. It's a casino heist. Oh yeah. Oceans 11. Big Lips. Married to Brad Pitt. Oh, my God. Angelina Jolie. Get off me. Step Brothers. Will Ferrell. Yes. Oh, wow. The guy in the picture of it. Lionel Richie? Yes. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Controversial rapper. Very controversial. Very. 50 Cent. No, the worst. Eminem. No, the worst. The biggest mouth. Jure. The biggest mouth. Who runs the most mouth? Gold Digger. Kanye West. Bit.
Oh, no chance. No chance. Just try. It's like when you say, don't cry. Argentino. That was it. Beowulf. That's domination. Beowulf. Beowulf. We have bad clues. Holy. Team two has four. That's it. That's it. That's it. Four out of seven. Okay. Domination. So you win. It's a shutout. I will even give you that. That was tough. That would have been tough. That's the congratulatory song. Thank you. Is that it? Are we done? Yep, that's it. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. We did it. We did it. Failed. Jay was off today. That was way off. M1 hot for teacher from Claremont. Thank you, guys. You are welcome. Hang on the line. Sunshine burrito, Mike. The rabbit's wife got me. The rabbit's wife. Rabbit's wife. I did this thing where... My mind froze. Oh, yeah. It was like too much pressure. Well, when Woods goes at you, he goes, come on. I know. How the hell? Like, I'm doing a bit. It's like just me. I just stare at Jay. I just stare at him. Oh, my gosh. Stop it. Dude, we're looking up at the TVs. It's practically on ESPN, dude.
They're not necessarily rich. Talking about the Herman Cain thing? They're practically showing it on ESPN. They're showing it everywhere. That's right. And Herman Cain, who forced this tax debate, this idea of a tax policy debate, he's out with a new web video featuring his campaign manager smoking. It's only on the web. Oh, really? It's only on the web. What do you think this video is trying to say to us, David? Since January, I have no idea. I mean, I don't know whether they're selling Camel cigarettes or selling a candidate. But, I mean, all I can tell you is that the writers in Saturday Night Live can put up their feet because the work has been done for them. Exactly what I thought. I mean, what are they going to do with it? Like, I've never wanted to see Saturday Night Live more. Yeah, it's going to be good. I've never wanted to. They could just replay that. Yes! And not even have to do anything. They don't do anything. Yeah. Honestly. And this is indicative of what a lot of people say is the problem with Herman Cain. Herman Cain is leading in polls in key states, including Ohio, in a new poll out. But an ad like that seems to reflect the fact that he doesn't have an organization that's up to snuff. He doesn't have a message. I mean, to use somebody like a campaign manager who's not known and then take that tight shot of him smoking, honestly, it's just bizarre. I don't know what...
Exactly. Like, he's unknown. Nobody knows who he is. And Woods hit the nail on the head when he said, this dude looks like a sex pervert. He does. He really does. He looks like he's driving a van around. I mean, it's just... The whole thing's creepy. Weird khakis from Walmart. Yeah. You know, it's weird. It's weird. So, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez apparently... are trying to adopt a dog oh they did oh they did adopt a dog yep and uh it made news why i don't know why why did it make news woods uh why did it make news that oh it was a husky yeah okay uh it was a husky so it made news because of that well i think it made news because this is two very popular people and they're both they don't they both tour and so how are you gonna take a husky around, but apparently, you know, she missed her dogs, and so she wanted to get another one. Yeah, that makes sense. You can't have a dog if you're touring. I mean, I guess you could, but a small one. Yeah, people don't handle it for you. Justin, don't you think that that's a little irresponsible? Yo, man, first of all, I didn't want this dog, man. I wanted a pit so bad, man. I've been wanting a pit since I was little, man. You wanted a pit, boy.
What? Shh, don't be saying my nickname, girl. Jesse, you're not strong enough to walk a pit. You know that. You call him Jesse? Jesse, justice of the peace. Yes. Just in time. So, yeah, old girl over here decides, we're going to get us a husky, and I said, I want a pit. Jesse. Girl, quit calling me that. You couldn't even do one pull-up, remember? Oh, wow. God. How are you going to handle a triple? Always be embarrassing me, man. I'm sorry. Always be embarrassing me. I like that you're scrawny. Jussie. Jussie. That's why I get a pit, man. I look hard. She was embarrassing you. Oh, man. She'd always be embarrassing me. He said, listen, dog. I'm going to get me a dog. I'm going to get me a dog, man. You're not a black guy. Hey, yes, I am. You are. No. No, you're not. Yes, I am. It's the cutest. Girl, shut your mouth. It's the cutest name. Its name is Baylor. You're a young... Stupid-ass name. Jesse's Idea. Stupid-ass dog. Blue-eyed dog. Who gets a blue-eyed dog? Listen to me. Weird as hell. Justin Bieber. Blue-eyed. What's up? You're a white kid. You're about 20 years old. You're skinny. You wear glasses. Yo, man, I don't even know what you're talking about, man. I'm black. I was born black. I was born in Canada. Are you 20? I'm 17. Oh, I was going to say you're old. I've been 17 for seven years. It's true.
That's true. Suck it, girl. I'm getting a pit. I'm not going to suck it. I'm not going to suck it. Okay, okay, okay. He told me to suck it. I know he did. I'm in my coffin. I know he did. I'm in my coffin. I'm not being literal. President Obama went on TV last night. Weird. He was on Jay Leno. He's trying to get his name out there. do a lot of things that seem very positive because, you know, he's got to turn the polls around. He needs his campaign dollars, too. Not getting them from big business right now. Oh. Listen to this. As president, everything is public. And I turned on the news last night and I see my president at a very famous restaurant here in Los Angeles called Roscoe's Chicken and Wine. It's so good. I hear they're the best. There is no question. If you want the chicken and waffles, that they're the best place. It's unbelievable. You went there. Oh, yeah. I think you ordered the Country Boys special. What is that? It was awkward. The one guy? Yeah. Wings with hot sauce. So fried chicken wings, waffles with syrup, and hot sauce. Now, is Michelle...
I mean, she's sitting back watching the news. Yeah, because the health thing, right? Well, you know, everything in moderation like Marlboro and fried food, if it's in moderation, then there's not really an issue. Originally, it was just a way to be out there and say hi to everybody, but once we got in the car, it smelled pretty good. I'm eating the wings. Got the hot sauce on it. You know, the fancy. Oh, yeah, man. Dude, when you walk past this place, you're like, I got to go in. I have to go in. Our hotel, you can walk from when we went to L.A. I go, oh, God, that's Roscoe's. First meal when we got there. You smell it from the street. You're like, it was so good. What did you get? I got chicken and waffles. And I feasted so good. I like all the stuff, Ella B., that would make you and my wife. grossed out. All the stuff that makes you grossed out like a skin on the... I know. I eat it like lector. It's the delicious part. No problem. The bone, it's the best part. All those ligaments and stuff. I chewed right through those. I crunch the cartilage. I crunch it. You're right through the ligaments. Rebecca practically has to leave the room when I start to crunch the cartilage. Smelling like chicken. And...
We were actually going to a fundraiser with Will Smith and Jada. We joke. We make these jokes that he's hanging out with the famous people, and he's actually saying that he's doing it. We've been on the air before and been like, oh, hanging out with Josh Brolin last night at the Laker game. Easy Hollywood. Yeah. Hollywood. I didn't realize it was so close, so... Suddenly we pull up and my sleeves are rolled up and I got a spot on my tie. Will said the funniest thing. For once. For one of those weapons. See, chicken on my teeth. It was not elegant, but outstanding chicken. Outstanding chicken. Outstanding chicken. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. What about Halloween at the White House this year? Michelle, you know, she's done a great job with this. healthy eating and right and let's move and get an exercise but halloween's coming up yeah and she's been giving uh for the last few years the kids fruit and raisins in the bag and i said yeah we're come on come on michelle that that listen even if you're healthy that's just don't do it even i'll be
L.O.B. is a health nut. She gives candy. But it's her platform. If she gave it away, they'd be like, oh, really, Michelle? Oh, that's true. I'm giving away cigarettes at my house this year. Just FYI. Cigarettes. Monster. And Jack Daniels. You're a monster. Candy cigarettes? No, real cigarettes. Marlboro's. Woods is going to have a bowl. A bowl. And it's going to have those little airplane bottles of alcohol. Yeah. Well, that's on the side of a bowl full of cigarettes. Yeah, cigarettes and just like one or a whole pack. Well, you can take whatever. I'm going to take probably 40 packs and empty them into a bowl and leave them outside my house. Caffeine pills. Yeah, caffeine pills. Hey, we were talking about it and I found out that they still do sell candy cigarettes. Do they? That's ridiculous that they got rid of them. They're so delicious. Like, I love the way they taste. I like the gum one where you could blow the powder. Well, we were talking about this a while back about how different times are. And when we were kids, they used to sell cigarette candy. And then it was little, they looked like cigarettes, but it was candy. And obviously it went away because you didn't want to encourage kids to smoke cigarettes by its very nature. Terrible. Well, we're wrong. They're out there. Oh, yeah. They're still around. Classic candy stores. Yeah. Still tastes good, too. But, Woodsy, it doesn't freak you out? What? It doesn't freak you out, little kids with cigarette candies? No.
Have I been manipulated by the culture into thinking it's bad when in fact... No, cigarettes are not good for you. They're not good for you. They're not? But you shouldn't do that. So how come we would do that with the kids? How come we would do what? Give them candy that looks like it. I don't know. I don't know. All I know is they taste good. And you're cool with it. Yeah, I don't have a problem. My kid comes in with a pack of... They used to make snuff, too, that was beef jerky. Oh, I know. In the can, remember that? Yeah, gum. And you would take it. Big League Chew. Big League Chew. Still out there. Yeah, I mean, Big League Chew is gum. It's up to us to tell our kids that smoking is bad. And once they hit 18, they're going to make those decisions for themselves. 18? Right. Don't they make that decision earlier? Some of them do. Some of them don't. I was 17 when I started to smoke. Yeah. I was about the same. I tried it and hated it. So I feel like you... And they eventually pushed past the hate. So you kind of have to have your mind set on like, I'm going to do this. How would it be? You smoked? For a little bit. How long? Seven days. No, it was like two years on and off. Yeah. Really? I was like a social drunk smoker. And then when I got in the car, anytime I started the car, it was like one in the same. Tell me about it. Yeah. I had to put the window down, light it, and be like, all right. When you stopped, was it difficult?
It was a little bit, but I don't think I was ever addicted to it. I think it was just a social activity for me. I was. When I was in rehab at Betty Ford, they looked like the Washington Monument. And that's where people smoked. And you put your cigarette out in these steel Washington Monument looking things. And I remember that they really wanted to stop it. Betty Ford really wanted to stop it, but they knew that getting alcoholics and drug users to try to stop smoking was just as hard as trying to kick heroin. At the same time, too. Yeah. It's just too much. It was too much. And so they couldn't. They just couldn't stop it. I remember now, and you know what's funny, is it just popped into my head when we were talking about candy cigarettes. I remember why I started smoking. It wasn't because of Footloose. I think that's why I tried a beer. Because I wanted to do the combo at the same time. My uncle. My uncle smoked. He was my idol when I was a kid. I remember I used to take french fries, dip them in ketchup, so the end was red, and I would smoke fries when I was a little kid. Now I just feast on french fries. Now, I want you to be completely honest. You won't hurt my feelings, and you won't offend me. Okay. So you can say, no, I don't care. And it won't offend me, I promise you. Jake looks up to you like crazy.
Is it in there? Like if he saw you smoke that he might want to? I don't want him to see me smoke. You don't want him to? No. Would you feel bad if he did and then wanted to do it because he loves you and admires you? Of course. It would. But you smoked around Jasper. No, I didn't. Yeah, at the Easter brunch. I smoked around the... Out by the trampoline. I smoked around the corner. No, you smoked. You walked out in the middle of the yard. That's a lie. That's a flat lie. I can have a friend calling because they called me on it. They said, he smoked. I went around the corner. He's doing it to get you. I swear, he did not. I did not smoke in front of Jasper. Oh, boy. And if I did, I apologize, but I was around the corner. No, because the people at the house it was, they were like, well, what if it was a joint? Do you know what a haboob is? Yeah, he's sitting in the other room. He's not producing. I'll tell you this. Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood.
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The new Mini Coupe. Hold on. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I'm Robert Zershed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for you Wednesday morning. Being brought to you by Guayaquil. Good stuff. Hot or cold. Check it out. Tastes good. Gives us a little energy, too. And there's some energy in the ocean this morning. We've got some west, northwest, southwest wells combining together. Very inconsistent, to be sure. And we're dealing with a mega high tide, 6 foot plus high tide at around 10 o'clock. So that is backing off quite a few areas. That being said, look for knee to waist high ways on average. Maybe some chest to shoulder high ways with that occasional plus. And only the areas most open to that southwest pretty swell and that northwest swell mixture. Beach breaks looking to be your better bet right now with a higher tide. While reef breaks will have some ways that the lower tides as well. Pretty backed off there for the moment. Weather-wise, overcast skies right now, high clouds, but not as strong as it has been. Looks like there could be an earlier burn-off in the sunnier skies. Wind's light and variable now, a little south in some areas, but not really all that strong, so not much of an effect on overall surface conditions. It will, however, pick up more out of the west as the day continues on. Water temp, most likely still hovering in that lower 60-degree level, which has been too bad for this time of the year.
So if you've got some time on your hand, as it is inconsistent, go on down, hang out, and catch a few waves. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair restoration deeds, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 authentic surf report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of. Girly stuff. Woods. I'd bathe myself in the ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts. Reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. To my dresser at home yesterday. Looked like a bookshop. Probably 20 books in there. Bibles? Oh, boy. That was a serious question. Yes. Yes. Many. I would say 5%. No, that's not bad. 5 to 10 percent. To 15. To like 20 percent of them. To 35, 70 percent. Yeah. 87 percent. 94 percent. All of them were Bibles. All of them were Bibles. 100 percent Bibles. But I had to, well, I have to talk to the wife about wanting to get a shelf built. You know, like a library thing. You know, because we, you know, I just. You know what you could do is get them all on like a.
Pad of some sort. Like an iPad, you mean? Yeah, like an iPad. Or like a Kindle or something. Just talking out of school? You could put them on like a... What do they call those? Like an iReader or something? Tablet. A tablet. Yeah. A tablet. Do you have one of those, Mike? Do you have a tablet? Have you ever gotten one? Two of those? Three? Three? Yeah. What do you have? I have an iPad. One of them or two of them? I have one. And then my wife and Jake share another one. No, you also have a Kindle. What's a Kindle? It's when you renamed Beto that time. Oh, that's right. Well, then it's also the thing that's made out of wax that has a wick that comes out. That's a candle. That's what he said. A Kindle is a reading device. Thank you. Do you have one? Not yet. No, I do. I have the old. The old. Right. Oh. They have a new one coming out. Have you heard about it? It's called the Kindle Fire. I got one. It hasn't come out. They don't ship it. It hasn't shipped yet. Pre-order? Pre-order. Tablet number four. How'd you do that? On Amazon, you can pre-order. I realize that, but your allowance is done through. I know, but I sold a bunch of stuff. Ah. That's right. I love it. I love it. That's, hey, I sold stuff. What? I sold stuff. So now you have a slush fund. Yeah. That's brilliant. Brilliant.
Uh, this is M1 Rick from Escondido. What was the word of the day? Bookstore. Oh, wait. Oh! Bookshop. Bookshop. Actually, you were right. You were right. Uh, you win what, Jay? Oh! Yo Gabba Gabba line. Sorry, I got... You distracted. I got distracted because Woods gave a look and I didn't know what it was about. No. I didn't know what it was. Yeah, L.O.B. had... L.O.B. did. No, you did. You were looking at L.O.B. and you gave a look. Oh, no, because she was right. He said bookstore, and you hit, which was actually correct because it was bookshop. That's why I was like, oh, she's right. Which is a weird word in and of itself, but I use a program every day to generate a new word. Right. Yes. Haboob. Haboob. That's offensive. Well. Don't call me names. You understand? A haboob is actually a dust storm.
And there was a ha-boob while a wedding was going on. Correct terminology is ha-breast. Yes. Ha-jugs. Yes. Ha-jugs. A ha-set. A ha-rack. Anyway. Ha-rack. Ha-cans. Ha-cans. This is a wedding happening and it's an outdoor wedding. A ha-boob will happen out of nowhere. All of a sudden. A dust-like tornado will just start out of nowhere. It's calm one minute, next minute, a boob. A boob. A boob. Listen to this. It is in the art of marriage that the little things are the big things. It's never being too old to hold hands. Are you listening? Are you listening? I'm trying to.
But the fact of the matter is, pastor, father, whatever. The fact of the matter is, is that we're outdoors during a thunderstorm, number one. Right. And number two, this is a boob country. You realize that, right? And it's more importantly, it's a boob season. It's a boob season. Hello. I mean, hello. Jennifer and Gustavo. Thank you. You have today. Join yourself. Excuse me. He's getting very offended. Is anyone listening to me? He's very offended. There's a haboob behind you. I'm sorry. You can't see it, but if you turn around, you'll see a haboob. Why is he so upset? It's a safety hazard. He thinks people are like, it's the whole don't talk while I talk thing. Wow. Okay, great. You know what? You're going to have a set of haboobs in your face as soon as you turn around, and then you're not going to be laughing so much. Holy man. Jennifer and Gustavo today will join separate lives together. The two separate bottles of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families, and separate sets of friends. They represent all that you are and all that you will ever be as individuals. We should just get out of here. I can't see them. I can't see them. Oh, my gosh. The guy didn't want to stop. Well, you're in the middle of marriage, and you think that...
We're ruining the dress and all the mood and the atmosphere. Somebody cover the cake. Sorry. Sorry, dude. All right. Well, I guess we'll just call it a day. Do you know how long I practiced for this? I'll just take it to the house. Don't worry. I didn't write a special sermon. Yeah. You too. Happy birthday. No, it's all right. It's all right. No, no, no. It's good. Next time, just do it on the internet. I came out of retirement for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just doing favorites. Why'd you call me? And blow and blow. It's a haboob. It's a haboob. Yep. Okay, you know what I'm going to do? Because I'm just that type of guy, I'm going to post the video on the internets for you. Of the haboob? You're crazy. You can't put dirty stuff like that up there, Mike. That's not in your nature. If you go to facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you will be able to see the haboob and the wedding. All of that, what you just heard, you're going to be able to see with your own peepers. Okay. Ready for the candy challenge? Yes. What we're going to do is we're going to blindfold one another. Well, we're all going to put on blindfolds. And then we're going to taste candy. Weird. And we have to try to identify it. Is that Jay's old gym shirt? Oh, yeah. I will be the worst at this. I will be the best. Weird. Do you believe that you will be the best? There's no question. Who knows candy?
Yeah, that's true. I'll spit this. Hold on. I need to spit this out. I believe... Just another Friday night. What a filthy P.I.G. he is. I know. You're the biggest haboob I've ever met. You're a haboob. You are such a haboob. Wow. I believe even though I don't eat a lot of candy, I'll be the best. Did you eat candy as a kid? Yep. Yep. Go ahead. Tie him up. Woods. Yeah. Please make a bet. If I don't... How many, Chris? Three. Make a bet with Elvira. You have to go beat me or go three for three? I'll go three for three. I will not get one wrong. Do I ever just make up bets? I'll dress up like Chaz Bono again for Halloween. No. No, I've seen it. It's not really a lot of effort on your part. Been there, Donna. Just kidding. You already have the costume. I can't. This thing will not stay, Chris. I'll just hold it. Who's that broad Elvira?
You know her with the big boobs? The white girl with the long hair? I'll dress up like her. Yes. And if L.O.B. loses, she has to dress up like her. Zalvira. Done? Done. Wait, this is a head-to-head competition? Yep. You against Woods. Hold on. I think Mikey should be in that as well. Can you hand me my water real quick? Dressed up as Zalvira. Would you? Yeah. I need you to clear my palate. Would you? A little round. Would you? This is so weird just being blindfolded. I know. I hate it. I hope you guys are really blindfolded. We are. I can't see a thing. I can't see anything. Everyone sounds louder. And I have my eyes actually closed. Me too. Me too. Because otherwise it hurts my eyelashes. Ready, Jay? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, hang on just a moment. Did you just say that it hurts your eyelashes? Yeah, the blindfold is like squeezed against my head. It's funny I already know what this is. I have a feeling I already know what it is, too. You guys have already eaten it? No. I haven't even put it in my mouth. I know what it is. Oh, my handout. Oh. Yeah, I think I know. I'm just smelling it. I'm not tasting it. Oh, boy. I have my handout. I know exactly. 100%. I know exactly what it is. I don't even need to taste it. I'll tell you what it is. You can buy it from a regular store, Chris. Oh, I know what it is. You know what it is. How do you guys all know what it is? It's a moose turd. It's not a moose turd. No? Uh-uh.
Man, it feels just like a moose turd. It really does. Are we allowed to try it? Can we try it? Yeah, let's try it. All right, let's try it. Let's try it. Oh. How do we make sure that people don't steal our answers? Oh, yeah. It's a great question. I know it is. Maybe we have to whisper in Chris's ear. No, Chris. No, I have it. Okay. Chris, give me something to write with, and then I will hand you that implement, and I'm going to write it down, and it's going to look... bad because I'm going to be writing with blindfolded, but you can make it out. That is this. Where's my pen? Oh, yeah. Do I have a pen? Yeah, we'll use the same pen for everybody. Okay. I have my own here. Maybe I shouldn't make bits up. Yeah. Poor Chris is running around like a wild. Maybe we plan. Yeah. I didn't think about it until I got my blindfolded. Okay. All right. I wrote down what I think. Me too.
All right. I'll start, and he can tell us if anybody got it right. I believe that that was a Snickers. Jay. Payday. Payday. I said Baby Ruth. The answer is Payday. Yes. Payday. L-O-B. I kind of want to see what my writing looks like. Don't. Don't, Jay. L-O-B. All right. It's the next round. Here we go. Ready? Yep. I'm trying three things. J. Candy Challenge. Woods. Oh, this is more difficult. This is more difficult. And L.O.B. Thank you. It's more difficult because it's a mini candy. It's a square. And, uh, can I try it? Can we try now? Everybody got one? Yep. All right, try. Go at it. Don't waste my time. All right, let's write down what we think it is. Hmm. Oh, that's good. Mm-hmm. Uh,
Okay, I wrote down what I think. I wrote down what I think. Woods, did you write down? Yeah, you said you were offended. I'm actually offended right now. And then L.O.B., did you write yours down? Yep, but now I regret it. Can I write a new one? Nope. Turn it, I took another bite. All right, I believe it's a Snickers. Jay? I believe it's a Snickers. Woods? Really? There's no question it's a Snickers. Darn it, I said Milky Way. But I believe it's a Snickers. When I first got it, I thought Milky Way. And then you get a peanut. I know, I didn't get the peanut at first. What is it? It's a Snickers. Two for two, Woods. Alright, last round. This is it. I've got a feeling it's going to be a curb. L-O-V-I-R-O. Woods has to get all three right. I will. No question. This is another mini. And L.O.B. Let me know when you got it in your hand. They all have it. All right. Try it. Come on. Come on, Chris. Oh, that's too easy. I have tiebreakers. That's too easy. He has some other ones, too. All right. Everybody wrote it down? No. You guys. Oh, wow. L.O.B. Oh, that's a drastic reaction. Wow. Oh, my gosh. That was brilliant. That was an overreaction.
I'm going to say what I think it is. It's a Mounds. No. You clown. It's an Almond Joy. It is an Almond Joy. It's an Almond Joy. Isn't that what Mounds is? Mounds don't have nuts. Mounds. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't. So what is this? I always feel like a nut. Mounds don't. Three for three. Three for three. I thought it was the same product. I thought they were both called the same thing. Are we doing more? Are we doing another one? Do we have to do a tiebreaker? He has a tiebreaker. Between who? I got three. I got three. Okay. What time is it, Chris? Right now it is 7.52. Okay. Oh, we have a few minutes. Wait, do I have to still eat this? So you just have to do it for two of us, Chris. No. We're just trying to see who the candy aficionado is. Well, between Woods and Ella B. No. I already smoked her. It's 3-3. Woods and I are tied. Oh, well, then we know she's going to be Elvira? Yes. Elvira. Elvira. How about that? Sure. Congrats. Great. But you also have to do it in public. Yeah, for ours and for Z. Yeah. We'll just call it our corner. You guys are going to get these. You both seem like candy connoisseurs, so. I don't want any more.
Oh, come on, Chris. Jeez, dude. Hey, am I allowed to stop? Yeah, it's just these two. Okay. All right, I got this. Come on, dude. Come on, man. Jay, at the same time, ready? Ready? One, two, three. Twix. You guys are pigs. That's rad. That's rad. My blindfold's on. No, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but you have to say what flavor it is. Yeah, you have to give a flavor. What color of them? Oh, wow. I'll just go from there. I got to unwrap it now, though. Here you go. Don't cheat, either of you guys. Don't cheat. I can't. I'm only saying that because, you know, you both are basically untrustworthy when it comes to candy games. They're smelling. Oh, Woods didn't even smell. He just stuck it right in his mouth. Wow. I think I'm effed here, dude. Ma'am. Okay, cool. All right, what flavor do you think it is, Jay, that you had? Let's say they're Starburst and they're a color. Which color? I want to say... I want to say it was lemon. And Woods, what do you think yours was? Strawberry. Which would be pink. And what would... Jay, what color do you think? I want to say it was yellow. You're wrong, Jay. Yes. And Woods was right? Woods was right. He's the candy color. Pink! He's the candy! Is he really wonky?
My writing looks the same when I'm blindfolded. I know. Mine too. Me too. Well done, Woods. Thank you. I told you. I can't be beat when it comes to candy. Dang it. Aloe Vera. Great. Thanks, Jay. Oh, I love it. How did it turn into my bed? I'm trying to imagine you. Any more of those almond joints? Aloe Vera. That is fantastic. You know that's a sexy outfit. Yeah, I don't have cleavage. It's not going to work. Oh, goodness sake. You just got to show what you got. Easy, Kanye. I want dudes to call in right now and finish this sentence. You ready? I always know it's time to cut my wife off on the wine because she starts to... Now, this could be anything, man. It could be... I don't know. There's farting. She starts yelling. She starts, you know...
570-1949. I always know it's time to cut the wife off on the wine because she starts to... 570-1949. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Past performers include... The Black Keys, Phoenix, Spoon, Against Me, and many, many more. This year's artist lineup and info will be revealed this morning at 10 a.m. on FM 94.9. BMW Encinitas announces a model year-end sales event. To make room for the 2012 models, thousands of 2011s must go.
Right now, lease a 2011 528i for only $479 a month. That's right, a 528i for $479 a month. Fully equipped with leather alloy wheels and much more. Our 2012 models are arriving by the truckload, so it's your last chance to get a great deal on 2011's at BMW Encinitas. Now through Sunday on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. or visit us online at bmwancinitas.com. 36-month lease, $49.95 to at least inception, $0 security deposit, 10K miles per year, 20 cents per excess mile, with approved above average credit, must finance with BMW Financial Services. Offer expires end of month. Welcome to the Backsliders Club, the negative space in our heads we've reserved for our weak-willed moments. Here we can spiral down into our feelings of failure and defeat in total comfort. Look around. Hey, there's your sister-in-law who does everything right. Over there, that woman from the gym who's so together. And next to her, why, that's your personal trainer. The truth is, we all land here once in a while, whether you're trying to eat better, quit smoking, or lose weight. The secret is not to stay. Kaiser Permanente reminds you that change happens one choice at a time.
And one trip to the Backsliders Club doesn't make you a loser. It just makes you human. At Kaiser Permanente, we've got ways to help you stay out of here, or at least keep you from becoming a regular. Kaiser Permanente. We want you to get up, get down, and thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. Hi there, this is L.O.B. here to talk to you about ovation cell therapy. Recently, one of my male friends, who will not be named, was telling me how great ovation is working for him. Great. I don't know what's going on. My hair's soft. I know. And don't forget that it's stronger. Yeah, yeah. And it's shiny. I know, Woods. I mean, person that will go unnamed. It's the advanced formula from Ovation, which is an even better product than the original cell therapy system from Ovation. Ovation worked for me. It worked for my unnamed friend who... despite any similarities, does not bear any resemblance to anyone that you might know or anyone that might also be on the Mikey show. And it's going to work for you. It's guaranteed. Or your money back. So go to OvationHair.com and get yourself the Ovation Cell Therapy System. And when you check out, put in FM949 and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So that's OvationHair.com. Enter FM949 at checkout and get your special introductory discount.
Searching for a way to save on your wireless bill? You'll find it at Cricket. Now you can get a no-contract wireless plan starting at $35 a month with nationwide talk and text. And that money you're saving, that's all yours. And if that's not enough, how about a flat monthly rate with no annoying hidden fees? So Cricket's not only about finding you money, but a little less stress, too. Now that should get you talking and texting about how Cricket not only has smart monthly plans that save you money, but a variety of phones to meet your every need. So discover a little extra cash this month when you check out Cricket's no-contract monthly plan starting at $35 a month. Visit a Cricket store or MyCricket.com today. So smart, so Cricket. Coverage not available everywhere. See store for details. Terms and restrictions apply. Requires new activation. Cricket has a great lineup of Android-powered smartphones starting at only $89.99, plus unlimited music included in select plans. Visit a Cricket store or MyCricket.com today and save. These days, you see a lot of boy's head wannabes. Brands of cold cuts that say, well, they're sort of, kind of, almost as good as Boar's Head. Truth is, they're not even close. Being Boar's Head means using only the best cuts of meat and the highest quality artisan cheese. These cost money.
and wannabes won't spend it. Being Borset means never using scraps or artificial colors, never cutting corners to save a few cents, never making compromises. Being Borset also means only offering our products to stores that we trust will handle and serve them well. These stores want to stand for the best, and they know you can't be a first-rate store and sell second-rate cold cuts. So it's no surprise that the highest quality grocery stores and independent markets in America carry Boar's Head instead of the wannabes. What brand of cold cuts does your store sell? Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses. This is what supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. Routines may be a little boring, but when it comes to your vehicle, wouldn't you rather avoid surprises? Routine maintenance will help you keep your car or truck running right. To extend the life of your vehicle, change the oil and filter every 3,000 miles. Flush and fill your antifreeze every two years. Change your shocks every 50,000 miles. And check your battery and fluid levels every month.
Your nearby O'Reilly Auto Parts store has the name brands, low prices, and helpful people to provide just what you need. Right now, O'Reilly Auto Parts has Prestone Universal Antifreeze on sale for $6.99 after $5 mail-in rebate. Protect your vehicle against temperature extremes and corrosion with Prestone Universal Antifreeze, $6.99 a gallon after $5 mail-in rebate at O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limits apply. See store for details. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4's. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego.
This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Want your marketing plan to be as stress-free as the open road? Constant Contact combines email marketing and social media to give your small business the tools to succeed. Visit ConstantContact.com and you can get started. Looks like the 15 northbound before Deer Springs Road. Watch out, there's a couple big dogs running in the center divider. I have no idea how dogs get in a center divider. 15 southbound after Valley Parkway, an accident on the right shoulder. And as you're traveling through Chula Vista, the 5 northbound between H Street, Park Boulevard, it is stop and go this morning. This report brought to you by Sharp for Healthcare. The way it should be, make sure your health insurance plan lets you choose Sharp. Call 1-800-82-SHARP or you can visit sharp.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM. He said that he was going to play some Richard Marks today and he did.
You can call and fill in the blank on this one. I always know it's time to cut the wife off because she starts blank. By the way, want to let people know? Holiday Hoot Nanny. We got the lineup, and we're going to tell you the lineup 10 a.m. this morning. I'm going to go ahead and tell you this band right now. Richard Marks. Just kidding. That'd be awesome. Mike! He just fell out of his chair at home. I guess they had to get some Occupy Wall Street people out of Atlanta with helicopters. They physically had to remove them. SWAT teams with riot gear. Bunch of cops on bikes and some on horseback. Imagine that scene. It's getting ugly. It is getting ugly. In Oakland, they had like 16 different...
Police departments come and get people out with the rubber bullets and tear gas. I heard that in New York City, some dude was selling heroin out of his tent. No, seriously. And he had a six-year-old. Oh. I read it. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to give you some World Series updates and tell you about a former Charger who's done for the year again. But first, I want to tell you that sports is brought to us today by Dave and Buster's Eat, Drink, Play Football. Going to be there Sunday. I'm sorry, Monday from 5 to 7 for the Charger game. There you go. The World Series is back tonight. It is a 3-2 lead for the Texas Rangers. They win tonight. They are the World Series champions. They're back in St. Louis. Cardinals, it's obviously a must win or they go home. Tonight is Colby Lewis against Jaime Garcia. Mikey. One of your favorites. Also, Sean Merriman. The Buffalo Bills linebacker, former Charger great, is out for the year. He's on injured reserve. He will not play any more games for the rest of the year. He's got an inflamed Achilles tendon weird. Wow. Talk about a fall from grace. Just that story. That story. It's fascinating to me, dude. There was nobody better. Nobody. I know, man. Lights out, bro. The guy was legit. No doubt. Those first couple seasons. No doubt. The best.
The steroid thing happened. I had him on the air the next day after the steroid story broke. He said, I was taking supplements. The old supplement bit. Yeah. And, oh, my gosh. Second year in a row, he's had an injury that's wiped him out for the entire season. Do they give up, you think? Do they give up on him? How old is he? Oh, he's young, bro. Yeah, 27 probably. You got to give him another shot if he can get healthy. I just hope that he gets back to form. I always know it's time to cut my wife off with the wine because she starts what? Call us right now, 570-1949. Because she starts talking about American Idol. Name three judges from American Idol. Okay. That could be one thing. M1 Rick from Escondido. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Okay, how do you know it's time to cut the wife off? When she starts talking about her day. Wait a minute. How dare she? Wait, wait. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, boy. Are you telling me that she doesn't talk about her day until she's had too much wine? Pretty much, yeah. So she'll be quiet and then all of a sudden start to tell you about her day? Yeah. And that's when you know? That's when you know she... Minute by minute.
She must know her place, usually. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's not what he means. She just starts going into way too much detail. Are you him? I'm telling you, it's what he just said. He's his defense attorney. Yeah, I guess so. You're welcome. I know how it can be with Lauren. Oh, wow. Rick. Oh, God. Thank you, Rick. Oh, God. That's uncomfortable. M1 Jason from Oceanside. Yes. How do you know it's time? I know when to cut my wife off when she just will not stop talking, just no matter what I say and no matter how hard I try to get a word in edgewise. She just will not stop. These women are atrocious. Uh-oh. Yes, they are. Talking. Oh, no. Not cooking. Yeah. Cleaning, not ironing. What happened to cleaning? Just talking and drinking and not ironing. What really could happen in their day between ironing and picking up dry cleaning and cooking? Being barefoot. Cleaning the floor. In the kitchen. Nothing interesting, I'm sure. I'll tell you what my wife does. When my wife has had... First of all, my wife can get tipsy on a glass of wine because she's little. And sometimes the wine glasses are big.
It's true. And she will start to finish my story. What I mean is, I'll be like, yeah. So I walk out into the lobby, and I'm getting my first massage, and I've got on this robe, and I'll take a breath, and Rebecca will go, tell him about the guy. Tell him about his hair. His hair. He had red hair. And I go, yeah, baby. I'm going to tell him. I was just about to. I was right about to do that. I was right about to tell that part. And she goes, oh, sorry. And I go, so like she was saying, the guy had red hair. And he thought Michael was gay. Babe, can I? You're not getting to it fast enough. Yes, apparently. And I know.
Somebody's had a little vino. I try to start singing. You do? Because my boyfriend at Commerce is a musician. And he's always like, come on, babe, sing with me. And I'm like, no, I'm a terrible singer. I'm not going to sing. But then when I've had some pops, I'm like, hey, babe, give me a guitar. Let's sing the Taylor Swift, John Mayer song. How does he react? He's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, he loves it. But I'm like, and a one, and a two, and a... Is that what it sounds like? Oh, my gosh. It made me do a harmony, babe. I would be so uncomfortable. That's what it sounds like. There we go. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Is that, babe, is it a C chord? I know a C chord. Wow. M1 Mike from San Diego. Are you there? I'm right here, man. So how do you know when the wife has had one too many?
I know my girl needs to be cut off when she wants to switch from wine to beer. She's gone from elegant? Yes. She's gone from elegant to let's party. Wow. She's like, with too much alcohol on her, she's like, school in July, man, no class. Oh, my God. And today's promo. Oh, my gosh. Woods is going to use that line on his wife. A hundred percent. That's fantastic. Babe. Dear. You're like schooling to learn. School to learn. Class. That is a good line. Thank you, Mike. That's awesome. Oh, my gosh. Woods, did you say what? You know, she doesn't do anything really out of it. She does the slur bit. And when she starts slurring, I'm like. You guys act like we're slurring, but I mean, we're not. We're not actually slurring. No, you're slurring. No. I mean, I think I can hear it there. Well, and then there's other times where we know you're slurring because it's, well.
It's just absolutely clear. What is the name of the federal agency designed to aid Americans during disasters? It's identical J.B. Woods after two glasses of Pinot. What federal agency maintains the U.S. border at the Canadian border? It's identical. We don't hear it. You can't hear it. You're like, hey, babe, you're slurring a little bit. I'm not slurring. You're such a jerk. You know, it's so messed up. Like, if I slur, fine. Fine. You know what? I am willing, and then they'll try really hard. I am willing to discuss it if I'm actually slurring. I'll admit when I do it. I can say the ABC is backwards. Yep. I can do the Gettysburg Address. Give me anything. I'll do it. You just said Gettysburg, babe. Yeah. I did? Yep. Gettysburg. Who was the GOP candidate that ran against Obama in 2008? Obama. Obama. Obama. It's not even bad. What's your name? Matt Archer. How old are you? How old are you? How old are you? Name any state that borders Florida. Jersey accent. What is the name of the movement that has protesters down at City Hall?
What about that TV show, that singing competition? Name three judges from American Idol. That's the greatest clip we've ever had. I can listen to it. Name three judges from American Idol. American Idol. Here's the other amazing part about it is that when the two people are drunk, Neither of them notice the other is slurring. Right, right. It's just completely, it's, you're in drunk talk. Yes. And you're in drunk world and drunk land. Yeah. And it just feels real good. What happens to the, what happens to the tongue? Why does it, you know. It gets fat. It gets fat. It gets real fat. Yeah. I even think it's in your brain as well. Your brain is fat. You're just slowing down your motor skills. Yeah. Big time. Everything slows down. I get really conscious of it too. I get anxiety about it. About yourself or your wife? About myself. If I started with a crooked sheriff. Did you know? I knew I was probably pretty inebriated. It was my birthday. I'd had a bunch of Coors Lights from the keg. I was like, I'm probably a little impaired. Yes. I usually know what it is when I go to...
go to the bathroom and I have to like brace myself on the wall. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. The old hand up on the wall bit. Like you got this. You got this. Let me tell you though. There is nothing worse than the feeling of porcelain on your forehead. Oh gosh. I never was a vomiter. Ever. Never had to hug the thing. You never got sick, Woods? Maybe twice in my whole life. Maybe. But it wasn't this late. It was like, walk in, do my business, and leave. Oh, you're so lucky. It wasn't the walk in. But I had the, I would get the spins and I'd lay in bed and I'd talk myself out of it. The spins are the worst. Oh, gosh. The spins are, but the spins usually lead to the porcelain. I never had the sleep on the toilet bed, ever. I'd actually get out and push my bed to the side of the room and lay on the floor because I couldn't, the bed was spinning, but the room was fine. Oh, wow. I'm okay now. Oh, my God. I'll just be here on the floor if you need me. That's incredible. I used to just cry and be like, I don't know. I do girls cry. Oh, I do girls cry.
When they're drunk. When I got the spins. Well, but girls will also cry. Very emotional. Yes. It's the reason that I can't watch the real world. I can't watch it. It makes me so nervous. Me too. I get so anxious watching it. It's the stuff that we're probably already insecure or sensitive about. And then it's all heightened when we're drunk. Oh, wow. Just sitting. on the curb in a dress. Scabbed up already. Scabbed up. Can't find her purse. Snot running down her face. All black eyed underneath there. L.O.B. just did the bit where she put the palm of her hand on her forehead and just doing the cry thing. And then this guy. Baby, baby, baby. It's okay. I gotta get you an account. You don't know. Seriously? I got to get you in a cab. Seriously, we lost everyone. I just want to get you in a cab. I don't have any money. I've got money. Will you just listen to me? Listen to me. Okay, listen. Her shoes are off. One shoe's off. Grab your shoe and your purse. I can't. There are cops everywhere. Excuse me. My name is Officer Johnson. Sorry.
Hey, listen. Just let me get her in a cab, please. I'm an American citizen. I'm going to give you three minutes. I'm a citizen. Three minutes. I'm not kidding. Shut your mouth. If you don't have her, I got to get her in a cab. She's obviously had too much to drink. I apologize. You don't have the right. Do you know where her other shoe is? Yeah, I've got it. Don't worry about it. Oh, boy. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Hey, you can't argue. Hey, shut up, please. That always helps, too. I don't care. He's an idiot. How many times have you heard a girl do that? I've heard girls actually do it. Like, they don't care that it's a cop. No. I don't care. And more than likely, the cop isn't going to take her to jail. He's just there to break her balls a little bit. But if you, the boyfriend, have had a little bit to drink, you are then... infuriated. Because you can see that you're probably going to jail for public intoxication. Or she is, and then you're going to have to worry about her. And your dumb girlfriend will not get in a cab with you. Or in my wife's case, me. It's totally reversed in our case. Or your girlfriend will start a fight with every group of guys that comes by. It's like, this is my boyfriend. He didn't kick your butt. Check this out. Showered. Showered.
When I was just at Notre Dame, the game was over. We went back to the tailgate to get our stuff. This girl was next to us, and she was hammered. Like, how are you? Where are you from? Oh, gosh. And I'm stone cold sober. Nothing to drink. I go, I'm from San Diego. No freaking way. I'm from San Diego. Two girls, two guys. The guy looked over, and he goes, who are you talking to? Why don't you just go home with him? You want to give him a beer? You want to give him one of my beers? Just go home with him. And he looked at me, and he looked at me, and I'm looking, and I'm stone cold sober. I was like, make one move. I will tackle you onto that table. Are you with your dad? I'm with my dad. Oh, wow. And the guy, why don't you go home with him? You want to go home? So let me go home with him. And all she did was say hi. And offered me a beer. Do you want a beer? I got a beer, but my boyfriend will get mad. So I'm going to sneak it. Dude, if I heard that. My heart. And I'm gearing up for, he's going to rush me and I'm going to have to tackle this drunk guy into that table. I had it all planned out of my head. Do you know a guy named John? I don't. I think it's like Mission View. No, I just want to get my bag and go home. I just want to get my bag and go home. I really want to get out of here. He works for, I think it's like an insurance company. Who's that?
He knows, what did I say? John, I don't know. John, he knows John. I just want to go home. It's my dad here. He knows John. 58 years old. Baby knows John. What are you trying to do, dude? I'm not doing anything, bro. He said he knows John. Get off with my girlfriend, bro. I'm not making off with your girlfriend. Now you're a tough guy? Now you're a tough guy? I'm just leaning against the car. He knows John. I don't know John. He knows John. Dude, that was exactly it. Heart's beating. Heart was racing, and I'm gearing up for a move. Let's make a move. I hate it. Oh, it's so scary. 570-1949 is our number. You can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. We play a game called Spanish Fly or Black Guy. Oh, I'm an idiot. I didn't print it out. I have it. I have it. We can do something else. No, no, I got it. I got it. Hang on. Two seconds. Hang on. Don't look, LLB. You cheater. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It was instinctual. I got it. We can go. I'm ready. All right. The way that we play is that Woods has either a line he's made up or it is a real line from a real black movie. Now, do you know what we're talking about when we say that? I'm talking about Barbershop. I'm talking about Friday. I'm talking about...
Movies that L.O.B. would love. Oh, yeah. And I'm way into black movies. Black comedies, everything. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. So let's get somebody on the line, and we're going to have L.O.B. play for that person. Mm-hmm. She's got to get best out of how many, Woods? Best out of seven. Best out of seven. She's got to get four out of seven to win. There you go. So call us right now. 570-1949 if you would like L.O.B. to represent you. M1 Surf Daddy from Encinitas, are you there? All right, man. She's just got to get four. Hang on the line, okay? And what do we have to give away, Jay? We have a $20 gift card to Smash Burger and a pair of haunted hotel tickets. There you go. Sweet. All right, hang on. You ready, L.O.B.? I am. Let's do it. Yo, I talked to my uncle, and we all good. Black eye. Spanish fly. Tiny! Oh, you're good with that, Woods. He is able to make up lines that sound legit. It's 0 for 1. I bet we've eaten everything on a pig from the rooter to the tooter. Black eye. Yes. Boomerang. Has to be. Yep. 1 for 2. Ella B is squinting. She is like studying. She's concentrating with everything she's got. What you know about control, Big Chops? What you have in control? Spanish fly. Oh, wow.
That's from Juice. I got to feeling like a machine, and that's no way to feel. Spanish fly. That's black guy. That's it, right? She is one for four. She needs to get the next three. Okay, if she can get the next three, he wins. Right. Sometimes, around here, things ain't exactly what they seem to be. Spanish fly. Yep. Really? I would have said that that was black guy. I thought that was a real line. Man, I love me a fat chick, man. More cushion for the pushing. I mean, I know that's a real thing. True. Black guy. Yes. Oh, she's on fire. From how high? All right. This is it. This is it. Winner take off. This decides it. What you doing stealing cups for? You trying to have a lemonade stand? Black guy. Spanish? That one was a trick. That was a trick. Woods, that's great. How do you do it? Well...
That one, I took a line from Friday, which is, what you doing stealing boxes for? You trying to build a clubhouse? I just replaced it. I replaced it. That is great. Darn it. Sorry, Ella, man. You're good. Who gets fired on the day off? We have probably a pretty good indication as to why Lindsay Lohan doesn't have things so good. Could be that her father, Michael Lohan, is a mess. You're going to hear a 911 call. Coming up next, that will prove it. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts present the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. Saturday afternoon, November 5th at Liberty Station. Celebrating FM 94.9's 9th anniversary. And the kickoff to Beer Week. Featuring two stages of beer-soaked live music. On the local 94.9 stage. Family Wagon. Dead Feather Moon. The Bloody Hollies. On the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. The Stone Foxes. Telekinesis. Please ask me.
performing his landmark girlfriend album in its entirety to celebrate its 20th anniversary. Beers from every corner of San Diego as we showcase all 32 members of the San Diego Brewers Guild pouring their hoppy, malty, and frothy best. Tickets are on sale now. Go to fm949sd.com or sdbw.org for more details. Good food, great beer. and rock and roll. See you Saturday, November 5th at Liberty Station for the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival with FM 94.9.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out this week. Wednesday night, Manchester Orchestra's at House of Blues. Friday night, Amanda Palmer plays the Birch North Park Theater. The Lemonheads are at Soda Bar Saturday night. And that same night, you can see the Nervous Records and Republic of Letters at the Casbah. The Damned hit House of Blues November 1st. Wild Flag plays the Casbah that same night. And Minus the Bear are at Soma November 2nd. November 5th, it's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival at Liberty Station. With Matthew Sweet, the Stone Foxes, Telekinesis, and a bunch of great bands. And City and Color play House of Blues November 8th. And still to come, Company of Thieves, Strung Out, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Dinosaur Jr., Pinback, Wilco with White Denim, Not a Surf, and Mute Math. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. BMW Encinitas announces a model year-end sales event. To make room for the 2012 models, thousands of 2011s must go. Right now, lease a 2011 528i for only $479 a month. That's right, a 528i for $479 a month. Fully equipped with leather alloy wheels and much more.
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Well, it looks like the 5 northbound rest area expects some stop traffic this morning. They've got Caltrans repairing about 5 to 6 potholes that are in the right lanes. Escondido 15 northbound before Via Rancho Parkway, an accident on the right shoulder. And the 94 eastbound right after Home Avenue, there was an accident there. They just cleared that. This report brought to you by Jerome's Furniture. Jerome's Furniture. Jerry's price means no gimmicks, pure value every day. And with same-day delivery, you can purchase by 6 p.m. Have it home tonight. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Coming in. Oh, yeah. Can't wait. And Garrett gave us a song we can play. Can't wait to hear it. Nobody else has it. Yes! Your little friend over here is sniggling real good about something. What are you sniggling about? Nothing. What is that? It's just a text. Now you share it with a class. Share it with a class. I look at her, look at her, and I go, I'm like, something's up. Stupid. That's nothing. Is it from one of our wives? No, no, no. It's close, though. It's from my boyfriend. Your boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Yes. Why is that close? Because he's almost like he's a spouse, but not really. Oh, God.
Did he pop the question? Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Yeah, Jay. Yes, because she would be sniggling. Look at that. What? It wasn't enough for me to say it's almost like he's a spouse. Jay had to really drive that one home. Had to step on your head with a golf cleat. Yes. You know, just kind of drive it into the green real good. And then use your head as a golf ball. Yes. Yeah. What did your boyfriend, Matt Comer, say? Oh, he... stupid. He just told me that I left my kombucha and my wallet in the fridge. You left your wallet in the fridge? Ballin's got no chance. Ballin is my child. Ballin is dead. Ballin is a little egg. It's an egg. And we're doing the same thing that you did in high school where the girl has to carry around an egg for a week. If you are leaving your wallet in the fridge. Your wallet. That's less important than my child. What did you do with Ballin' yesterday while you were selling newspapers? He was in my pocket. What? What? He was in my pouch. He could have broke soap. No, no, no. I had an apron on with a pouch in the front. What if somebody hugged you? You can't just put a baby Bjorn in front of you and just walk around giving hugs. Yeah, you do ass out hugs. Yeah, maybe. Like you do.
Yeah. Mike does an ass out hug. I don't anymore. Yes, you do. You still do ass out hug with my wife, and it's really funny. He does it with me, too. It's so weird. I don't. You do the ass out hug. It's a sexual sex pervert hug. He gives me a full body hug. It's the opposite of a sex pervert hug. It's really not. A normal person hugs normally. A sex pervert feels weird, so they stick their ass out and they do a weird hug. I've been getting a lot of the ass out of hugs lately. I've been wondering if there's something wrong with me. No, there's nothing wrong with me. Hey, L.O.B., don't you feel like if you hug Woods and he gives you a full body hug, don't you know for a fact he's memorizing the position of your breasts? No! He'd have to hug pretty tightly. Let's see what that looks like. Come here. I'll show you. This is how you do it. You're doing a real hug here. Hi. Hi. I've been so long since I've seen you. How are you? That was... You did it. You did the butt out. I did? Yeah. She can't help it. Yeah, I don't think I can help it. You went like this. You're a sex pervert. You pooched out your butt like you're a pervert. I think that's just how I stand, Mike. Yeah. She's gifted. Ass out hugs are weird to me. Here's the ass out hug. It's so weird. It's like you're bent at the hips. Well, it's because I don't want to feel stuff. Hey, listen.
It's not appropriate for me to feel on my belly and chest your belly and chest. That's not appropriate. It's quick enough. You're making my stomach upset. It's quick enough. I'll do a side hug, too. With your wife, Mikey, I'll give her a side hug. Like, hey, how are you? As opposed to a big, like... You're making me feel guilty for hugging men. Well, you are trying to get it on. Yeah. i'll do like the side like you're getting it on how are you in middle school you could feel the boys you know oh yeah during the dances really oh yes and we didn't think that they could but they could and i'm you're sitting there going well it's all out there yes uh well we're only about two notes into a whole new world so let's wait this one out you know i wonder why you go from the spontaneous hello yes
To growing up, and I don't remember what age that stopped, but it's just like, what? How come we had no control? I mean, no control. None. It's a drive to reproduce. I bet it was, dude. I mean, I bet biologically that's actually the reason. Because there's a biological reason to it. For sure. Because there was, hey, Wendy, do you want to dance with me? Yeah, I'll dance with you. Okay. And two seconds in. But weren't you just sitting in homeroom, too? Oh, it didn't matter. Well, that still happens sometimes. It's like a surge of hormones. But the homeroom bit, yeah. Now, in all actuality, that doesn't happen to you anymore, does it? Oh, yeah. Spontaneous? Yeah. Spontaneous for no reason? Oh, yeah. What? Like you guys can be at work and it would happen? It has. It can, yeah. What? Last week in here it did. That doesn't happen to me. That hasn't happened to me since I was a kid. We've had this conversation. It happened to me last week. Because you guys were giving me a hard time about it. Yeah, but I thought that you were just a pervert. No. No. It's still good. It's a real deal. It's a real deal. Can't help it. Last week I was sitting on that couch. I was like, uh-oh. Yeah, you just had to kind of stay still for a little bit. Well, that was probably when Annie was in, the sports reporter.
You are really something. You're evil is what you are. My wife listens. My wife stays listening. I remember you sat on the couch. I remember you sat on the lap. I did not sit on anyone's lap. She sat on his lap. Oh, you guys went to the movie together, right? No, she didn't go to the movie. My wife came. Oh, that's why she didn't come. You're it. What? I'm sorry, man. I'm really sorry. It's not often. Can you do me a favor? Please don't say, I'm sorry, man. But I am sorry. I'm sorry, my man. I'm sorry, my man. He's like feeling sorry for me. I feel bad. That you're not spontaneous? Too bad that doesn't happen anymore. Oh, it happens. It just doesn't happen while I'm sitting here for no reason. Too bad. That's all I wanted to say. You know they've got medicine for that. It happens. It just doesn't happen while I'm sitting in our general manager's office. Sometimes you need a little extra help. We get it. Hey, Mike. Tell Rebecca I'm sorry. Hey, Mike, you have something called Cialis. My wife just texted me weird. Thanks a lot, Jay. It was Lauren. Oh, yeah, Lauren. I was kidding. Nothing happened. Gosh darn it. That day. That minute. God.
I was kidding, Gene. No, it's just... I can't control it. I don't believe you guys. All right, next time we'll show you. Don't. No, I'll be like, hey, look what happened. Look at this. Look who's here, my man. Somebody's here to see you. My man. My man. Okay. Okay. Garrett! Why does that keep getting played? Because we have the new Black Keys. Is that what you're doing? That strange guy? Does he get a cut of this? Because it's the 70th time he's mentioned this song. Well, not just that, but maybe I, you know, decide. What a lunatic. You were talking about it. He's just randomly playing Garrett. Garrett. He is a lunatic. He's lost his mind. He's lost it. Wrong with you. Hey, Mac, don't forget. Garrett. Mac. Garrett. I know you're in the middle of a bit. Garrett. Black Keys. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett.
It's so weird. Oh. It's beyond weird. And I'm timing it so that I can, you know, I don't want to play it and then have 20 minutes, you know. You're it. Okay. I get it. You're it. You're it. You're it. He is such a strange guy. He doesn't even shirt shimmy anymore. No, he doesn't. Doesn't even make him nervous anymore. No. I do what I want. It's his bit. It's my fleck. It's my thing. It's my nest in here. Itches are gone. Okay. Oh, man. Fine, Jay. I guess it's time. Garrett! I gotta get to it. That's... I didn't plan on this. Garrett! Here we go. So, the song is called Lonely Boy. It's new from the Black Keys. New album is called El Camino. My King. You can pre-order it. Gosh, L-O-B.
Why are the jokes about me so funny? I don't know. When you said Lonely Boy, I was waiting for her. I almost said that I was sipping coffee. She is a ball boy. Oh, she will get you. So, Lonely Boy. I've heard this before. The song is called Lonely Boy. It's a great song. It's Black Keys. Harcher for them, isn't it? Man, it sounds different. It sounds really different for them. You know what I think they did? What? They channeled their 70s roots. You know what I think is amazing about it? You listen to this and you go, wow, that's two guys. Yeah, that's two guys. The good they say, the good ones, you feel like you've heard them somewhere before. They said that in Crazy Heart, the movie. I'm going to slit your throat. That was not the new Black Eats. That was not the new Black Eats. Lawrence, have you ever heard that song before? No. Really?
It's in Boogie Nights. It's in Boogie Nights, but it's also, it's AM Gold. Yeah, a big hit. That stuff. Like the Bosom Buddies. That's right. Kind of sounded like it. Yep. Okay. Single's called Lonely Boy. Album's called El Camino. If you want to pre-order it, do it at the official online store today, and you can get an instant download of the song. Nice. Now, if you've already pre-ordered the album, Then you'll get the track in your inbox today at 9 o'clock. And it hits stores December 6th. But we are going to play it before anybody else. Damn. Here you go. Black Keys. Very solid. Those guys are the riff masters. Check it out. Here they are talking about making that record. Hey, it's Patrick. And I'm Dan. And we are the Black Keys. And this is the world premiere of our new song. Oh, I was supposed to play it before? Yeah, sorry. The new record, El Camino. It's also the first single. No, you said it was them talking about the making of the record. With our good friend, Danger Mouse. He's just a close friend of ours. We really trust him because we've known him for so long. And when he comes in to work with us, because Dan and I are so tight, it's hard for us to find someone like O'Brien who can integrate into the band as almost a third member. This song reminds us of fast cars and knife fights. Two things that we don't know anything about.
But that doesn't really matter. So anyway, I hope you like this song. Don't forget our new album El Camino. It's available in stores and online December 6th. And now, here's the world premiere of Lonely Boy. On FM 94.9, it's about the music. Wow, that's pretty rad. Look at the look Mikey's giving me. I said intro. And I think even if you read on it, doesn't it say intro? Yes. Wow, so that was the world premiere on FM 94.9. That's pretty awesome. It'll be breaking the... Those guys were the hardest. I don't have a big sample size at all. They were the hardest interview I've ever been a part of. I was sweating profusely. Tommy and I were interviewing them. They weren't answering a lot of questions. They were like, oh, we're from Ohio. You guys Browns fans? They looked at us like, what? Football? I haven't watched football in 30 years. They were not playing along, for sure. They were making you work for every single answer. I was like on a treadmill. I was like, come on, man. Come on. Give me something. Give me something. It almost seemed like they had been interviewed a thousand times, and you were the thousand and one, and they were just like, you know what? What do you got? You know, freaking great. Two of the best musicians around living right now.
Those two cats. Tough interview. Good guys, but tough interview. Very cordial. They signed a poster for me. That's why I always try to go a different direction. We did. Football. We tried. We were like, oh, you're from Ohio. I mean, everybody in Ohio loves football. Yeah. Nah. We tried to go a different direction. I wasn't like, tell me about the recording devices you used on your last album for others. You know what I mean? I didn't want to get too technical. Whenever I interview musical people, I'm... It's very rare that I'm really actually interested in the music. Really? I'm more interested in them. In the story? Yeah. I'm interested in them. Tommy's a really interesting interviewer. He does a real good job. Tommy's great. He was struggling. He actually was sweating. We both were. We had perspiration on our foreheads. I'm like, oh, God, oh, God. You know what you do? I'll tell you what you do next time. Yeah. You say to them, which I've done, how come you're so hard to interview? You say it. Just be honest. You just be honest. You go, how come you're so hard to interview? Because I freaking hate you. Why? We've just met. That's what I'd say. I'd say, but we just met. And I'm really interested in you. I like your music. Very much. Very much. Yeah. But it's hard to interview you. They were nice guys when they weren't being interviewed. Absolutely. Like, so cool. Maybe they just didn't like the microphones in their face. Good career choice.
Seriously. I don't like football at all. I'm a starting quarterback. Gary! When I tell you what men are six times more likely to do... Uh-oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. L.O.B., you're going to want to put on a seatbelt for this one. Should we just tell her to take a coffee break? Dude, I'm telling you what, when she hears it, she's going to be upset at these particular men. Oh, God. Oh, boy. What? 5701949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More FM 94.9. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Past performers include The Black Keys, Phoenix, Spoon. This year's artist lineup and info will be revealed this morning at 10 a.m. on FM 94.9.
The president and founder of Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Angelo DeMonte. Frankly, I'm tired of all the negative news. You only live once, and as my grandfather always told me, it only costs a little bit more to get the best. Well, guess what? Now it doesn't cost you a little bit more. For as low as $349 a month, you can be driving a brand new Mercedes-Benz. Why not do that today? We have a great selection at Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. People locally and all over Southern California come to Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. not only for the price, but for the quality of treatment that they receive. These are relationships that have been made over years. The relationships are what it's all about. That's why Mercedes-Benz of Escondido is number one. $349, least price available for Tier 1 credit. Down payment, dealer document fees, taxes, and license due at signing. See Mercedes-Benz of Escondido for details. To be the most premium brand of cold cuts, what does it take to become the most highly thought of line of cold cuts in America? What does it take to be... Very simply, an unwavering commitment to quality. Insisting on only the highest quality meats and cheeses without fillers, without scraps, without artificial anything. With no shortcuts and no compromises. Now what does it take to be a first-rate supermarket or sandwich shop? An unwavering commitment to quality.
A stubborn insistence on carrying only the best. And a desire to train your staff to deliver service that lives up to the high-quality products you sell. It's why the truly great grocery stores and independent markets across America insist on carrying Boar's Head. Because you can't become a first-rate market by selling second-rate cold cuts. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. While you usually set strict guidelines for spending, it's easy to get sidetracked during the holidays. What with all the discounts, sales, and supermarkets. There's your brother-in-law who wanted those country western collector plates. And grandma will be thrilled if you can find anything with a happy cat on it. Which is why we're with you when you're looking for an easier way to stick to your budget. Because when it comes to your finances, Wells Fargo has the tools to help get you through the holidays. With a debit card or credit card from Wells Fargo, you can set up account alerts to help you stay on track. Alerts can be sent to your phone or your email so you'll know the moment you've reached the limits you set. And setting up account alerts is free because we know you've got enough to budget for already. This holiday, take comfort knowing you have the tools to stay in control of your spending, giving you more time to focus on the important things like where to find country western collector plates. Call, click, or stop by to learn more about account alerts. Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC.
Your mobile carrier's text messaging and web access charges may apply. Some meteorologists believe his ghost stories are the actual cause of thunder. When there's something strange in his neighborhood, he deals with it with a swift and disapproving glance. His recipe for deviled eggs involves actual witchcraft. Werewolves bring his picture to the barber. When the zombies come, he will be waiting. The most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. At the new Nordstrom Rack at Plaza Bonita, you can find the brands you love at an irresistible 30% to 70% off. That fabulous can't-wait-to-show-off deal, the perfectly on-trend steals, and thousands and thousands of amazing shoes are just waiting for you.
With fresh new style arriving daily at Plaza Bonita, the hunt is always on. Nordstrom Rack, brands you love at prices that make you feel like a shopping genius. Happy style hunting. The Nordstrom Rack opens this Thursday at 9 a.m. at Plaza Bonita, located at the intersection of I-805 and Highway 54. Save up to 30% to 70% off on brand name and designer apparel, shoes, and accessories for the whole family. Nordstrom Rack, where style meets savings. Opens this Thursday at Plaza Bonita at the intersection of I-805 and Highway 54. So you blew it. You ate the donut. You slept in and skipped your workout. You had that second helping. Went a little overboard at the buffet. Hit the candy jar at the office a little too hard. Stayed up way too late. You forgot to put safety first. You didn't eat your vegetables. You didn't even open that bottle of vitamins you bought. You accidentally left your gym bag at home. Your favorite machine was broken at the gym. Instead of your water bottle, you chugged a two liter of soda. You couldn't help yourself. You had a craving. Or you simply couldn't resist. But you know what? It's okay. Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. One slip up isn't going to undo all that good work. So don't be afraid to embrace your setbacks and do whatever it takes to keep trying.
At Kaiser Permanente, we believe the more you keep trying, the better chance you have to turn bad habits into good ones. Because we think it's never too late to thrive. Keep up the good work at kp.org slash thrive. That's the sound of the Jeep celebration event. And just what are we celebrating? Well, Jeep Grand Cherokee is the most awarded SUV ever. And the 2012 Jeep Wrangler has an all-new powertrain with improved performance and fuel economy. With a refined, quiet interior and best-in-class maneuverability and ground clearance, it's the most capable Jeep Wrangler ever. And with some great deals, we expect a lot of sparks to fly. The Jeep Celebration Event, featuring the newest lineup of trail-rated SUVs. Lease the 2012 Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $309 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees at your SoCal Jeep dealer. Tax, title, and license extra. EPA estimated fuel economy 17 city and 21 highway for Wrangler two-door. Actual results may vary based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Take retail delivery by 10-31-11. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC.
Get the Android-powered ZTE Score featuring Move Music at only $89.99 for a limited time at participating locations. Visit a cricket store to learn more. So smart, so cricket. This report is brought to you by Jared the Gallery of Jewelry. Shop Jared the Gallery of Jewelry with five times the selection of ordinary jewelry stores. Find a Jared story. You can shop anytime at Jared.com. Well, we've got an accident here on the 94 westbound at the 805. It's a multi-vehicle crash. Three cars. They've got things backed up behind it. The 5 northbound after the 94, there's an accident sitting over on the right shoulder. It's a two-car accident. Things should be clearing up over on the 125 northbound after San Miguel Road. There is an accident over on the 94. on the left shoulder, but they already have a tow truck on the scene. This report brought to you by Garmin. Reimagine. Redesign. Ready to move you. Check out the all-new 2012 Garmin Nuvi Personal Navigators at Garmin.com. That's Garmin.com. Garmin, follow the leader. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
A link at Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. iPhone case or do you think that it's lame? It's pretty cool. I like it. I showed it to some people yesterday and they all really liked it. Yeah. And so I put the link to it on our fan page. Were they all Christian people? Yep. Looks like a little Bible. No, it's not. And it isn't supposed to be a Bible. Looks like a Bible. Yeah. It does. It's supposed to be a book. They do a whole bunch of books. Like, some of them have, like, supposed to look like poetry on their website. Yeah, it's not a Bible. Outside of it, say, this is a little Bible. Yeah. Mikey's a little Bible. It's kind of hard to dispute that. There's a wallet Bible on it. Somebody at Dan Buster's had one. I thought it was a Bible. If I wasn't Christian...
you probably wouldn't have thought that it looked like a Bible. If you weren't Christian, I'd be like, why is he carrying a Bible? Yeah. Why is that non-Christian guy carrying a Bible? It doesn't look like a book. It looks like a little Bible. It says book, book. Yeah, it does say book, book. It looks like it should say Holy Bible right there. Now I'm insecure. Why? Because now I think that everybody's like, oh my gosh, he's such a fanatic. He's such a right-wing fanatic. Now you're worried about that? Guy's blowing up abortion clinics and carrying around a... Jay! You can see the phone, though, clearly at the top. Yes. But the case looks like a Bible. Yes. It comes all pre-weathered like that? Yeah. Yeah, great, Mike. Talk about your phone Bible. Hey, Bible phone. Hey, it's Bible phone guy. Hey, Bible phone guy. Are you not going to use it now? No, because now I'm insecure. Is it dialed directly to heaven, Mike, or what? You talk to Peter on that, or what? That's what I was going to say. Can I get Pontius Pilate's number? Yeah, it's just information. Yeah, Judas. Iscariot. Yeah, city and state. I don't know, Corinth. Rome? I don't know, one of those.
Ephesus. Yeah, get the number for Pontius Pilate. Bethlehem, I want to see about this inn. Hey, give me the inn. What inn, sir? The inn. Just the inn, the freaking inn. It's the first one. It's the only one. Mike, come on. With the Bible already. The Bible phone. It's a Bible phone. It is. I'm sorry, but it is. Back to the bottom drawer. Back to the drawing board. Oh, boy, I'll take it. No, you won't. If anybody is interested, put it on the website. Woods is trying to kill Andy Rooney. Yeah. Because he started talking about him. I believe I'm the only one that doesn't do an Andy Rooney impression on this show. I did last night when I saw the news about Andy Rooney in my head.
I might have said in my head, what's the deal with hospitals? I remember when hospitals used to be, you come in, you get what you needed, and you leave. I didn't have all these piles of paperwork. You also wrote, quote, another one bites the dust. Damn it. I wrote easy grave jumpers. He's just in the hospital. What's the deal with grave jumpers? And what's the deal with all the bills that come afterwards? I thought that's what insurance was for. I paid you when I got there. Why do you even have insurance if you've got something called a co-pay? I don't want to co-pay anything. What I want you to do is pay for it. There's co-pay. There's co-bra. I don't know what the hell's going on. And what do you mean by a deductible? You didn't really deduct anything. In fact, I'm giving you money. Yeah, you should call it a take. Call it a deposital. No offense, obviously. May he rest in peace. When he goes. When he goes, may he rest in peace. What? I could say the same about you. I would hope that you would. Yeah, but you don't say may he rest in peace if he's alive.
He's resting in a hospital. May he rest in peace. That's true. You could say that, I guess. In a court of law, that's going to hold up. I'm sorry. There's reasonable doubt. 100%. Reasonable doubt. He could have. That's exactly what I meant. And in fact, if I were his defense attorney, I'd argue that he'd have to be a monster to have been taking it the way you took it. Exactly. Well, I would probably go back through records of Mr. Woods' old Facebook post. And then he'd be fried. But we wouldn't allow that. All the different times he said, may he rest in peace when referring to someone who was actually deceased. There was no proof that that was written by me. None. Yeah, it could have been written by someone else, like somebody else in the house, like Jay. Like Jay. Jay could have came. I often leave. my computer open. If you add it up, several hours a day. Pranks. Could have been pranks. Did you contest it to Facebook? I never noticed it. I didn't notice it until you brought it up. Did you say every single comment that's ever been posted on Facebook? Obviously not. Clearly. You have read the entirety.
I have not. You've reached the end. Yes, you've got to the end. You started all over again. Yeah. I have not. Those are inadmissible false statements and accusations against me. What happens at the end of Facebook? You got to Brian Zerlander and you were like, all right, that's it. I'm done. Start again. For the record, I did not kill Andy Rooney. Yet. Well, one thing that we know about Woods is that when he talks about celebrities... They die. They die. He made a Gary Coleman joke. Now, there was nothing even wrong with Gary Coleman. Wow. He wasn't even in the news. He wasn't in the news. Nothing wrong with him. Woods talks about him. He died that day. That's not funny. I mean, it's weird. And then there was somebody else. Who was the other one? I'm going to say, like, Corey. Was it? Someone that he brought up out of the show. Remember, you guys remember when I was joking about Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein? You remember that? No. You got those guys. You're not complaining about that? You didn't do that. Oh. Hello, this is me, Osama bin Laden. This is me. It didn't happen the same day. It was after he died. No, this is before. Yeah, it was after. Three weeks into the show. Definitely. And then they kill him. No one complained. But Andy Rooney.
L.O.B., are you ready? You better strap yourself in for this one because this may get you a little upset. I boned Ashton Kutcher. Whoa, Mike. Mikey. Oh, my God. That is heavy. What was it like? Is he cute in person? I was induced by Ashton. Okay, fair enough. It doesn't count. Here we go. Men are six times more likely to leave a woman. After she's had cancer. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, my goodness. You guys are all pigs. When Seattle oncologist Dr. Mark Chamberlain was treating his brain cancer patients, he noticed an alarming pattern. His male patients were typically receiving much-needed support from their wives. But a number of his female patients were going it alone.
Can you say Lance effing Armstrong? Oh, yeah. Can you say John Lackey? Armstrong. He left his wife after she sat by him through cancer and then left Sheryl Crow when she found out she had cancer. That's his bit. Yeah. He's a dirtball. He did it to two people? Uh-huh. He left her after she was, like, by his side through all his cancer and the most supportive person and went. chasing tail elsewhere, getting a little strange. Oh, wow. And then Sheryl Crow got breast cancer? Breast cancer. And then he was like, out. John Lackey pitched for the Red Sox, and he just did that to his wife. Double mastectomy she had. And he goes, I'm filing for a divorce. I'm out. Well, wouldn't you do the same thing, Woods, because aren't you really into boobs? I do love boobs, but I've actually stuck with my wife through cancer. Oh. It's no big deal. It's no big deal. It's kind of what you do. By definition, it's sort of a big deal. No, no, no. It's no big deal that I stuck with her because that's what a normal, humane person, a normal person would do. Yes, I agree. And you are a good person. You are. I love her. Let's see. Huh. That's monstrous, bro. That's monstrous. It is. I've seen it happen before, too. Men ever just selfish? Why did I say that? Because you already say that women ever get mad.
Women ever just ask questions? Women ever give too many details? Women ever just take a long time to tell stories? I wonder why. You sure women just don't run the men off because they don't want the support? Good one, Jay. I'm just asking. Maybe they don't want to be loved at that point. No, guys are big, giant babies. Why would they want to be loved? Yeah, guys are big babies and they want to be cuddled. Big babies that can't handle it. It's too painful. Sometimes when women are hurt, they push you away. Maybe they push the guys out of their lives. I'm sure when you're getting your brain operated on, it's really easy to be a big B word. Jay, you're about four feet into that hole. Yeah. And you're still digging. Your head is starting to disappear. I'm not saying I agree with it. I'm just saying I could see. Oh, I'd do it. I understand that. I would stay with Kim through thick and thin. Well, except if she got thick. Now, if she got thick, I can't do it. That's a choice. Unless she got bitchy, in which case. That's a choice. That's different. Oh, man. That's different. Because that's a choice. I'll stick with her through thin. Yes. Your wife will stick with you through thick. Better or worse, you didn't say if she was a giant bee. Right. Then I leave. I get a pass. You know that in the beginning, though.
Let's see. That's absolutely monstrous. Yeah. They're babies. Mike, you get mad if Rebecca gets hurt. Gets hurt? Yeah. What do you mean? You say if she like stubs her toe, you're like, don't do that. Hurt, sadness, fear. Fear. Yeah. I don't know why. Sadness, too. Yeah. Somebody that you hurt, hurt themselves. Yes. And it makes you mad. I'm upset that somebody that I love got hurt, even though it was at their own hands. Yes. But. I think that it's very interesting that men, I wonder if there is a biological thing involved. Shallowness. Wait, wait, wait, wait. That's psychological. Okay. Okay. So I'm wondering if there is a biological component that makes a guy go new mate. Right. If there's, you know, I don't know. You know, you stuck it out because you're a good guy and that's what. That's what you should do. Yeah, you know, it's so funny, too, because we stayed together. We were dating at the time, and when she got better, we broke up. Isn't that weird? We were together the whole time through it. And then when she got better, we went to a nice celebratory dinner, and we broke up two days later. My crisis was over. It was really weird. Was there something about it ending that had something to do with the breakup that you talked about verbally? No. We just broke up?
You broke up because things weren't working out. It just felt wrong at that point. And then later it felt right again. But at that point, I think we had both put so much into something and it was over. We were like, I think we just needed a break for a while. That's really the way I felt. We both were like, all right. You know, with so much emotions invested and all that and worry and fear and, you know, pain and all that. And then once she was better, I'll never forget it. We went to a really expensive dinner. And my mom's boss paid for it. It was like a celebration. And I think it was two days. We were like, hey, this isn't working. Yeah, I know. All right, see you. Just like that. Wow. It was so weird. It's a crazy thing. Sometimes families with kids that have a disease will break up too. It destroys the marriage. Oh, autism. Autism has destroyed a lot of marriages. A lot of people split up during that time. And I can tell you from our point of view that what's difficult is. a lot of times guys are just like me they're in denial you know and you don't want to believe that your kid has autism and your wife is going something's wrong and Rebecca said it's important whenever I say that she said she always wants me to say this she said whenever I say that she wants me to point out that it happens the other way too sometimes moms are in denial and the dad thinks that there's something up and the mom is in denial but I think that it's much more
Men, I think, well, men are more prideful. And they're more apt to say, not my boy. Yeah. Not my boy. It's from me. So there's no way there's anything wrong. There's that. Idiots. We're idiots. It's that, and for me, there was, I just didn't want to accept it. Of course. Of course. I didn't want to acknowledge it, because if I acknowledge it, I've got to accept it. It's your firstborn boy. Yep. Yeah. I remember I wrote a essay that I was going to send to Newsweek about it. And it was, well, that's the sound of me writing it, actually. I penned it. With a quill. With a quill. And a finger bank. It sure is. Dear Newsweek. Hold on. It didn't make sense. Hold on. Dear Newsweek. Very sad. Oh, God. Dang it. My favorite part of it is that you have no idea. That's the best. We all look at each other. Yeah, because I'm thinking, can't he hear that? It was weird. He goes, I was writing a letter to Newsweek, and we hear. I'm like, what the hell? There's a giant writing on the ceiling.
I think you can hear it because we have headphones on. I don't have mine to crank this loud. It's amazing. I have a log, a paper log that I have to fill out every day for the commercial. First of all, I've seen it, and you don't have a log, so don't start bragging about anything. Oh, boy. It's a pencil. It's a husky pencil. I will show it to you. Husky. Pretzel rod. One of those things, a pirouette. It's a Pembridge Farm pirouette. Pipe cleaner. Baseball bat. Yeah, right. Erasable pen. Nightstick. Glowstick. Angel hair pasta. Giant Christmas candy cane. Penne pasta. Identical penne pasta. Dental floss. Identical penne pasta. Rigatoni. Yeah, identical. Identical rigatoni. With the grooves and everything. Elbow macaroni. Oh, well, that's an adult laugh, isn't it? Oyster. Ooh, L-O-B. All right, let's see. That show that we had the guy in here the other day, Chief Petty Officer John Grote, was on, I think, the front page of the life section in...
The San Diego Union Tribune. Bomb Patrol Afghanistan. Awesome show. And somebody wrote on my Facebook that they saw it and they are hooked. Yeah, I saw a few people say that. That they were all the way in. It's really good. Really, really good. The city has approved $450,000 in a centennial celebration for Balboa Park. Wow. Happy. Birthday. Money. Well. 100 years. Spent. $450,000? That's a half a million dollars. Yeah. How about we just celebrate, you know, on the $1,000? Maybe you get some crepe paper. Yeah. And some balloons. Some barbecue. And some barbecue. And you head down and you say, hey. All right. Well done for being here 100 years. You're still here. You did it. You did it. Mission accomplished. You're here. I'm sure it'll generate a lot of out-of-towners. No. Oh, wow. Perfect. Exactly. I'm sure it'll get a lot of in-towners. Hey, babe, you want to go to the Balboa Centennial? Did you get that invitation to the birthday party? What party? The Balboa Park. I'll go. The Balboa Centennial. Of course you will. I love the Balboa Park. You love a good centennial, though. I do. I do.
One of the... Jay, I need you to let me get the sentence out. Okay. Just turn my mic off. Thank you. I cannot do that. Right. Now it's back on. One of the filthiest places that you can touch is the gas pump. Sorry, because we all got to do it. Think about it, dude. You can grab a napkin from there. They have them. Guy that used to be on my radio program named Sean was a germaphobe. And when he would get gas, he would put on latex gloves. No, he wouldn't. Yes, he would. No, he wouldn't. Yes, he would. And he would carry those latex gloves in his glove compartment. People would bring him boxes of them when they'd come to meet him because he would want to shake hands with those gloves on. He did. He would shake hands at meet and greets with a glove on. It's very economical. You're kidding. No.
And we have a pair, we have a box at our home right now. We have a box of latex gloves under our kitchen sink for Sean. Has he ever talked to anybody about that? No, because he doesn't think it's an issue. He thinks that you people, we people. Is his wife a germaphobe as well? No, but she caters to this. Yes. She vacuums every day. What a saint. She is a saint. She is. How do they make love? And he says to her, he's got an answer to that. The answer is that he sees her bathing techniques. He knows how she bathes. And because of that, he is 100% confident that she is a very clean person. He still works for the Clear Channel. Otherwise, he would be a fascinating interview. And was. I mean, I would interview him. I love that guy. Because it's a weird thing. It's an odd thing. Totally. It's a sickness.
He vacuumed the drapes at our house in Nita's room, where Nita is now. He vacuumed them. He put the attachment that you do on a bathroom floor. I think he had a weekend at my house with seven dogs. Dude, oh my gosh. Seven dogs. The weirder thing was, though, he also was a furry. Yeah, that suit couldn't be very... It was his suit. It's his suit. Still. Yeah. He dressed as an animal. To make love to other people. I think he was a panda. Yeah. He didn't make love. What did you do? What did he say? He danced? He just walked around. He made him dance. He just walked around. Walked around. I miss him. You don't even know him. I met him. Still doing time. I'm in a honky tonk prison. That's right. Next time you're getting gas, just know they've determined it's the filthiest.
surface in America. Oh my gosh. And that includes like toilet, you know, hospital floors. Yes. I got gas yesterday, then feasted on a donut. There you go. Then you had ribs. Yeah. Be a part of the Mikey show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny returns Saturday, December 3rd. Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of USD. Past performers include The Black Keys, Phoenix, Spoon. This year's artist lineup and info will be revealed this morning at 10 a.m. on FM 94.9. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again.
Because the majority of those companies actually work for the credit card companies. And they make the credit card companies a lot of money from people just like you. But there's another way out of debt, and it's not bankruptcy. A way to reduce your debts and save you thousands of dollars. Even better, you can find out how for free by calling 1-800-700-6617. At Freedom Debt Relief, we're not a credit counseling organization. We're not a debt consolidation company. We offer a unique alternative to save you the most money possible to resolve your debt in the shortest amount of time. If you're thinking about a credit counselor, ask yourself this. Are they working for you or the credit card companies? Reduce your debts and save thousands of dollars by learning the secrets to settling your debt. For free information, call 1-800-700-6617. That's 1-800-700-6617. 1-800-700-6617. So, BMW Encinitas is doing this for M1s again. I love it. This month, you do a lease. And it's a new 2011 328i for only $229 a month plus tax.
That's a new 2011 328i for just $229 a month. And I'm talking about a fully equipped with leather. It's got alloy wheels. This thing is the bomb. Get on down there and check it out. It's on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. You can also find them online, bmwencinitas.com. Great time to do it. Because every new BMW from BMW Encinitas comes with no-cost factory-scheduled maintenance. And, you know, you're not paying for that stuff. It's thrown in there. You're going to save thousands of dollars over the life of your Beamer. It's BMW Encinitas.
October is here, everyone. So that means that Halloween is right around the corner. And this year, you should start your Halloween weekend off right. Come join me, LOB, at the Skins Fearless 5K. This is going to be fun for the whole family. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, and you can have strollers and dogs. And, of course, because it's Halloween, we're going to have a costume contest. It's going to be sponsored by the Haunted Hotel. So dress up early. You know you're going to be dressing up that night. Afterwards, we've got a free post-race breakfast. Perfect. Do you run? You want to feast on something? And after you give it all your guts and your glory and you run this 5K, you want to relive the race for all eternity. Well, guess what? Everyone that participates is going to get a finisher's medal and free race photos. This is being held Saturday, October 29th at Mission Bay. That's right. I said Saturday. Most races, most 5Ks out there on Sundays and then you got to rest up all weekend and you don't get to party. Well, this is Halloween weekend. We're going to party. Visit fearlessraces.com to register and get more information about this. That's fearlessraces.com. Like great craft beer at Half Price? Of course you do. So that's why HalfPriceSanDiego.com has a deal this week to The High Dive in Bay Park. The High Dive wants you to be happy. And what better way to make you happy than provide you with great beer and great food?
like pizzas, burgers, and salads. Conveniently located at 1801 Marina Boulevard, the High Dive is the go-to spot for some of the best local craft beer brewed right here in San Diego. Join the Bolts faithful every Sunday for football. Catch all the Aztec games and make the High Dive your football headquarters this year. Half Price San Diego invites you to visit award-winning Detour Salon and Store in Encinitas. Discover quirky style and urban energy at Detour Salon and Store. Affordable and trendy women's clothing, accessories, jewelry, and... and gifts complement their well-trained professional hairstylists. A hip hairstyle or lifestyle, you'll love their style. Detour is recently under new and improved management, which has taken Detour service and style to a whole new level. Check out HalfPriceSanDiego.com for great deals to local San Diego businesses. The Cox 10-Day Sale is on. Every day, our 22,000 employees bring the fastest high-speed internet into homes across the country. We invest billions every year to provide cutting-edge technology, and an exceptional customer experience coast to coast. Now, we're investing in you. For 10 days, take advantage of the best packages at the lowest prices. Get the fastest high-speed internet in America as rated by PCMag.com. Stream faster. Share more. Watch more on the move with TV online. With every innovation, we're there. For the 10-day sale and every day beyond.
Get high-speed internet for just $14.99 a month for six months. And add HBO with HBO Go for three months, free when you sign up for Advanced TV. Order online today at Cox.com. From your friends at Cox, California. Limited time offer. Excludes required equipment rental, taxes, and other fees. Actual speeds vary. Other restrictions apply. Fastest ISP claim from PCMag.com, August 31, 2011, with permission. From my rock star daughter to my soccer star son, every California family is made up of strong Californians. And to keep mine California strong, I choose Yoplait. Only Yoplait Original has twice the calcium of the leading yogurt, and Yoplait Greek has twice the protein of regular yogurts. So why would this California mom choose anything else? Head to your local Vons store today and find your favorite flavors of Yoplait yogurt in light, original, and Greek varieties. Vons, ingredients for life. With $100,000, you don't just make it rain. You cause a Category 5 cash storm. On October 30th, Harris Rincon is giving away up to $10,000 every half hour from 11 a.m. to 3.30 p.m. And at 5 p.m., $50,000 for a total of $100,000 cash. Just swipe your total rewards card and play. Harris, come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. Don't want to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Luis Samuel Indians. Managed by H. Cal LLC. Copyright 2011. Caesars Lessons Company, LLC. For over 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has been pushing the limits of what is possible.
unveiling groundbreaking innovations year in and year out. And this year is no exception. Introducing the all-new 2012 M-Class. Capable of monitoring blind spots, scanning the road for trouble ahead, and alerting you if it detects that you're drowsy, the all-new M-Class, with a completely redesigned, more luxurious interior, is one of the most advanced SUVs on the road today. The M-Class is part of the 2012 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest vehicles in the luxury car class. An SUV so refined, inside and out, you have to experience it to believe it. Lease the 2012 ML354 Matic for just $639 a month for 30 months with $4,934 due at signing. Available only to qualify customers exclusively to Mercedes-Benz Financial Services or participating dealers through October 31st, 2011. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for all your details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, and Hohen Motors in Carlsbad. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be.
The dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Did you guys know? Did you guys know that a wet dog smell beats out stinky socks for the worst smell in the world? Believe it. Mm-hmm. It's pretty bad. I believe it. A wet dog is pretty bad. Stinky socks, you got to get all up in there. Yep. That's true. What? You gotta, like, I mean... Oh, you gotta... Let's see if I'm in the... Wet dog. But you can smell a wet dog. It permeates. A mile away. Freshly baked bread. Mmm. Voted the best. Gosh. Just a hat. Mmm. Love me some baked bread. Are you alright? God, you love some baked bread. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Oh, it hurts. I love some bread. Man, it really does. Oh, wow. It's hyperventilating. That's what I feel. Hey, Jay, I just got this out of the oven for you. So unexpected. Man. Jay, can I make you a sandwich? Hey, Isbells, I'm glad you came. I just finished with the zucchini bread. Jay, calm down. Get easy, dude. I love me some bread. It's like me and cheesecake. More where that came from. Oh, wow. So, yeah. Then the other greatest smells, freshly cooked bacon. Oh, yeah. That gets me. Newly washed sheets. I love, we have a day in my family, and we call it Clean Sheet Sunday. And we do clean sheets every Sunday. Sometimes with seven dogs, we have to do clean sheet Wednesday and Sunday. Wow, every week?
Oh, yeah. I'm on the every other week cycle. Seven dogs. The best smell to me still and forever will be... Burritos. Enchiladas. A brand new Bible. Corn tortilla. A piñata just freshly broken open. The border. A burro first thing in the morning. Refried beans. Churros. Selena. Was it your joke that got you? I tried to be like, you guys, let him finish. Couldn't help it. A fresh Bible, is that what you said? Oh, my God, my stomach. And her face was priceless. I was going to say cinnamon rolls. Oh, no.
Holy crap. Which is virtually the same thing, yeah. It's just about the same thing in it. Like Cinnabon? Yeah, like Cinnabon. I'll tell you what they're doing in that Urban Outfitters now. They're pumping that place full of good smelling stuff that's not really there. It makes me want to buy stuff. You're almost at the cutoff for that place, by the way. I know, I am. This story is pretty sensational. On Saturday, there was a woman that was flying on an airplane, checked her bag, and she had a vibrating toy in her bag. And when she arrived to her destination, checked her bag, and somebody had written, get your freak on, girl, and put that note. in her bag. Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? That's one way of saying it. Holy smokes. How about that? Wow. Wow is right. True enough.
My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha. Stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Into this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me. What's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered in tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79. Only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. It's go time at your Toyota dealer. They're here now. The cars, trucks, and SUVs you really want. With great deals on every new Toyota. Go for 0% financing and save thousands on 8 of Toyota's best-selling models. Get zero APR on a new 2011 Camry or Prius.
Zero APR on a new Corolla, Avalon, or Sienna. There's even zero APR on a new Rev4, Venza, or Tundra. So hurry, go for the selection. Go for the savings. Go for the deals. Save thousands with 0% financing on eight of Toyota's best-selling models. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Offer excludes Camry Hybrid. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. Vehicles must be purchased from 2011 new car dealer stock by midnight 1031 11. Oh, I did not mean to do that. Jim, Jim, you don't mind me saying so. Your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. It's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like. Slicing torsos like carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. Ah, and the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I gotta try alternative energy.
Function Alternative Energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function Alternative Energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Searching for a way to save on your wireless bill? You'll find it at Cricket. Now you can get a no-contract wireless plan starting at $35 a month with nationwide talk and text. And that money you're saving, that's all yours. And if that's not enough, how about a flat monthly rate with no annoying hidden fees? So Cricket's not only about finding you money, but a little less stress, too. Now that should get you talking and texting about how Cricket not only has smart monthly plans that save you money, but a variety of phones to meet your every need. So discover a little extra cash this month when you check out Cricket's no-contract monthly plan starting at $35 a month. Visit a Cricket store or mycricket.com today. So smart, so Cricket. Coverage not available everywhere. See store for details. Terms and restrictions apply. Requires new activation. Cricket has a great lineup of Android-powered smartphones starting at only $89.99, plus unlimited music included in select plans. Visit a Cricket store or mycricket.com today and save. These days, you see a lot of boar's head wannabes. Brands of cold cuts that say, well, they're sort of, kind of, almost as good as boar's head. Truth is, they're not even close. Being boar's head means using only the best cuts of meat.
and the highest quality artisan cheese. These cost money, and wannabes won't spend it. Being Borset means never using scraps or artificial colors, never cutting corners to save a few cents, never making compromises. Being Borset also means only offering our products to stores that we trust will handle and serve them well. These stores want to stand for the best, and they know you can't be a first-rate store and sell second-rate cold cuts. So it's no surprise that the highest quality grocery stores and independent markets in America carry Boar's Head instead of the wannabes. What brand of cold cuts does your store sell? Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses. This is what supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. That's the sound of the Jeep celebration event. And just what are we celebrating? Well, Jeep Grand Cherokee is the most awarded SUV ever. And the 2012 Jeep Wrangler has an all-new powertrain with improved performance and fuel economy. With a refined, quiet interior and best-in-class maneuverability and ground clearance, it's the most capable Jeep Wrangler ever. And with some great deals, we expect a lot of sparks to fly. The Jeep Celebration Event, featuring the newest lineup of trail-rated SUVs.
Lease the 2012 Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $309 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees at your SoCal Jeep dealer. Tax, title, and license extra. EPA estimated fuel economy 17 city and 21 highway for Wrangler two-door. Actual results may vary based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Take retail delivery by 10-31-11. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Don't just aim for the top, start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top, start there. Looking for a quick, delicious lunch? Try Olive Garden's new panini sandwiches. For just $6.95, enjoy a half-pressed panini and pair it with your choice of one of four unlimited homemade soups or fresh salad, both with all the warm breadsticks you want. Choose from three great panini varieties, like grilled chicken caprese or grilled steak and portobello. It's our $6.95 half panini lunch, here for a limited time, weekdays until 4 p.m., only at Olive Garden. Tickets, please. With Mikey.
I'm a pretty honest guy and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had like 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's right. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Rebecca had on Storytellers and it was John Mayer. And she wasn't watching it. She was sort of walking around and doing stuff and doing stuff with the kids and stuff. And John Mayer was so douchey that I said to her, hey, is it okay if I turn this off? And she said, yeah. Example. So I was having me some sex one night. I was having me some sex one night. No, you didn't. Yeah, you did. And I was like, dude.
You're such a dork. That's so dorky. Oh, it was so dorky. And, like, the audience was mostly girls, and they didn't even react. He has a song out like that. They weren't like, woo! Woo, yeah! Get it, son! He has a song that basically talks about him being a D-bag. Oh, boy. Who says I can't get stoned? Is it that one? Yeah. Yeah, it's too bad, because some of his stuff I like. But, gosh darn, he just came off so... Douchey. It comes out through his music. Douche nozzle. It's a big douche nozzle. What do you think about this, Woods? Guy had a prosthetic arm. He had it custom made to put his phone in it. I think it's badass, dude. I think it is badass. Yeah, Nokia C7. It's great. Yeah. You can put it in there. And I can't figure out if he can charge it.
How great would that be? It charges when you plug it in. Yeah. It just charges in your arm. What is it? Solar powered? I don't know. I don't know. It's like a little slot for it. Yeah. And it just goes right in and he can hit. Hello. Hello. Talking to his prosthetic arm. Because it used to be hard for him to, you know, do the thing. Absolutely. Hey, by the way, we're going to be making a big announcement at 10 o'clock. Going to be telling you the lineup. For the Holiday Hootenanny. And we will be doing that with Hillary. So, stick around. I wonder if Ambrosia will make it. I don't know. What about Gordon Lightfoot, I wonder? We put the call in. Yeah, we did. Let's see. You remember the 17-year-old bride that married the dude from Green Mile? Oh, yeah. Little angel. They got kicked out of a pumpkin patch. in the Santa Clarita Valley over the weekend because other people complained about their inappropriate behavior. She was dressed like a hoe bag. Not to mention the fact... Yeah, she had on a very, very short version of Daisy Dukes. And apparently it was causing a fuss. And apparently Jay has already seen the pictures. Of course I have. Weird. He just Googles things. Slutty. Slut.
No, I think I actually found that news story and it had the pictures attached to it. Your service that you use to send you news stories, they had a picture attached to it? You wish. I actually spend... He Googles hot chicks. Hours. I spend hours. Hours. On news. Scouring. Yeah, so I was going to play you the audio of Lindsay Lowen's dad. This is his girlfriend, Kate Major. 911, what's the address of your emergency? I can't talk. It's, um... I'm sorry? It's at the... in Tampa. It's... You know the address, though, because I don't know where that is. Immediately, please. What's going on? My ex-fiance, and I have no other protection. Please get here. Please, immediately. And he's there now? I can't talk. Yeah. Well, can you answer yes or no questions? I can't. I can't do that. I can't even do this. Well, I can't do that now. Because I'm afraid of him. He's going to come in here and hit me, okay? Okay. Whatever you think is...
Okay. Jerk. I thought it was a bad address. Thought it was a what? Thought it was a bad address. And then he goes, all right, helps on the way. Yeah. Wow. Man, that's a bad address. Helps on the way. Okay. What a jerk that dude is, man. He's such a creep. That explains a lot. It does. They know your address as soon as, I don't know why he was asking her, because they have it right there on the phone. Probably just keep her on the phone. Yeah. Steven Tyler. Did you hear about him falling in the shower? No. Yeah. He was in Paraguay. No.
and suffered a... Paraguay is not... Mikey? If it just sounds Hispanic, you say it? Yes. Them's the rules. Well, he lost a couple of teeth. Oh! Cuts to the face. Wow, that's a hard fall. Yeah. But there's conflicting stories because his spokesperson said that he's fine, he's in his hotel, he's not able to do the concert. He had a small accident in the shower. But then there are like the organizers of the concert said, no, it was gastrointestinal problems. So which one is true? I wonder if he fell off the wagon. And I hope he didn't because he's had some struggles with that bit for a long time. That's the deal, right? Yep. Actually, a surprising amount of people have injuries in the shower. Really? I think you do it so many times, you'd be all right. Slippery in there.
It is. Well, why don't you put one of those little rubber mats down? He was in Paraguay. Fair enough. They don't have rubber mats in Paraguay. They don't have rubber in Paraguay. No, they don't sell rubber there. No, there's no rubber there. Cars just run on the rims. It's really a shame. 570-1949. Is it too early to make the announcement, do you think? Or can we make the announcement? Where's your clock? I have the promo loaded. We're a few minutes early. We're 15 minutes early. We're a few minutes. Like four minutes early. I'm going to slit your throat. It's 9.57, Garrett. Can't we do it now? You can talk about it. You can discuss it. Here's the thing. I didn't want you to get the idea. I didn't want you to. That's why I gave you a sheet with all the stuff on it. I think you can tell everybody who's playing and stuff and what's on the sheet. And then we could do the exciting, over-the-top produced promo. which I haven't heard yet, that is probably really good because Hanson did it afterwards. Yeah, we could do that. Do you have it ready? Or we could hit it after Mikey's last song. You can do whatever you want because you guys are in charge. I'm just here. Famous last words. Yeah. Do we have that? I have it set up. I have the promo set up over here. Oh, you do? No, no. It's the sheet at the bottom of that basket. We do have that. You're it. And I have a cheat sheet if you need it. Oh, wow.
So I can announce. We'll do two together. Start from the bottom. Long time coming. Well, we've already said that it is Saturday night, December 3rd. We have moved to the venue this year for the 2011 Holiday Hootenanny. It is now happening at the beautiful Jenny Craig Pavilion at USD. And we chose it because we went to go... see it and sort of went, why didn't we move it here earlier? Well, it's skinnier than the last place that we were at, too. It is much slimmer. Much slimmer. Better shape. And a little longer. Yeah. All right. You ready? Oh, goodness. Let's do it, man. The bands are My Morning Jacket. Oh. Yes. Yeah. Headlining. Yeah. Way to start at the top. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. And opening for them, Two Door Cinema Club. Yes. Matt and Kim. Yay. Delta Spirit. Yes. And we're going to have a beer garden this year with the Blackout Party, who we love playing in the beer garden area. So there it is. Beer garden. Tickets are going to be $40 plus a $3.50 USD faculty fee that you got to pay for it. But that is a great price.
for all of those bands. And a dollar of every ticket is going to go to the About the Music Fund. And that helps support music education in San Diego County public schools, which is really, that's such a, that's a good cause. And the general public, it's going to go on sale to you Halloween, 10 a.m. Nice. So that's Monday, 10 o'clock. And you could also get tickets to tickets.com or... FM949SD.com and it's going to be pretty cool. Again, it's The Blackout Party, Delta Spirit, Matt and Kim, Cinema Club, and My Morning Jacket. Pretty nice. Big time. Very cool. Let's see. Hillary, what do you got coming up? I'm going to play us some My Morning Jacket. A couple different songs. I'll get on some Bush and I grab Mastodon and Switchfoot, but we'll get on all those fans throughout the day. Holiday Who! There it is. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you tomorrow morning at 6. The Mikey Show is out here tonight.