The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 10/28/10
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday October 28, 2010
Mikey tells about handling a tarantula spider and Woods freaks out. Gerbils scare Mikey more than spiders and snakes. Weird things are occurring in the studio along with a mysterious Elvis. A M1 calls in with a nasty Brown Recluse story and Mikey reminds everyone how many bugs we eat when we sleep. Is James Cameron blue in the face with blue people? Nirvana and the Foo Fighters will be reuniting for an album and the song title name dropping gags begin. Nitta the nanny has humorous tips for Mikey’s Halloween costume. WoS has a disturbing Chargers’ injury description and Favre talks about his streak. You Da Manicure winners are announced and their poems are read. President Obama weirdly went on Jon Stewart’s show and got filleted and Mikey gives his thoughts on Universal Healthcare. LOB digs checking out the nudies at Blacks Beach. Woods gets nervous as the San Diego Zoo guy comes in carrying hissing cockroaches and The Kid turns a whiter shade of pale. Next up is a small bird of prey and last is a rare pangolin. Movie Plot Hot potato sees another BB for Jay. Sanndra Rossi calls in with her new commercial jingle. LOB has tan skin and white teeth while Woods has white skin and tan teeth! Jay reveals how cheap he is with toothpaste. Woods creeps hard on Taylor Swift and 90’s fashion trends are ripped on along with fanny packs. Jay can give a mean back rub! Mikey laments on singing “Surrender” and this brings out “Sarcastic” Woods real good. Because pesky, pushy sales people bother LOB and Mikey they role-play a customer and cashier conversation. What’s the Minute Clinic at CVS? Mikey would rather you not know. Oksana talks about turning down Playboy magazine for a how do you say…fold of center? Why do Hollywood stars feel the need to give details about their relationship problems? The cast calls out Garrett to come on the air and Hilary makes jaws hit the floor when she walks in wearing sexy overalls!
Bumper Music
| 1. Good Grief by Foo Fighters |  |
| 2. The Grand Tour by George Jones | |
| 3. I Miss You by Incubus | |
| 4. Whiskey Bent And Hell Bound by Hank Williams Jr. | |
| 5. Drain You by Nirvana | |
| 6. Two by Ryan Adams | |
| 7. Bad Luck by Social Distortion | |
| 8. Dear John by Taylor Swift | |
| 9. Nuthin’ But A “G” Thang by Dr. Dre | |
| 10. Lyin’ Eyes by The Eagles | |
| 11. Notion by Kings Of Leon | |
| 12. I Was Made For Lovin’ You by Kiss | |
| 13. Ain’t Too Proud To Beg by The Temptations | |
| 14. Dreams by Whiskeytown | |
strange habitsanimal fearsradio contestshealth care politicszoo animalsmovie triviacelebrity relationshipsmusic fantasiesmassage etiquetteretail clinicsradiocomedy
Woods admitted chewing electrical tape, caller Derek described a devastating brown-recluse bite, and San Diego Zoo ambassador Rick Schwartz turned the studio chaotic with cockroaches, a pygmy falcon, and a pangolin. Mikey announced Ryder Kelly and Adam Lester as the winners of the comic man-pampering contest, while Woods beat Jay at Movie Plot Hot Potato and shot him with the BB gun. The crew used Jon Stewart's Barack Obama interview to debate the promises and practical costs of universal health care, then argued over whether David Arquette was defending himself or violating Courtney Cox's privacy. Sandra Rossi staged a ridiculous write-in campaign, Woods unpacked his Taylor Swift heartbreak fantasy, and Mikey capped a Minute Clinic recommendation with a story about barging in on the wrong patient.
What happened, in order
Woods Eats Electrical Tape
Woods casually admitted that he wraps green electrical tape around his finger, chews it like gum, and spits it out, leaving everyone else horrified.
The Brown Recluse Bite
Caller Derek said a brown recluse bit him in his sleep, ate away at his leg, and left him hospitalized for nearly two weeks and terrified of every spider.
You the Manicure
Mikey announced Ryder Kelly and Adam Lester as the blindly selected winners of the man-pampering contest, then the crew performed their comic poems about beards, cigars, massages, and manicures.
Jon Stewart Presses Obama
The hosts played Jon Stewart challenging Barack Obama over the gap between the audacity of his campaign and what he delivered, then argued about whether universal health care could be affordable and effective.
Zoo Animals Invade
San Diego Zoo ambassador Rick Schwartz brought hissing cockroaches, a tiny pygmy falcon, and a pangolin into the studio while Woods visibly panicked and the others crowded in to touch them.
Movie Plot Hot Potato
Woods beat Jay in a rapid-fire movie-description game, earning the right to shoot Jay in the backside with the show's BB gun, though his low shot drew immediate criticism.
Sandra Rossi for Governor
Sandra Rossi called to abandon her supposed gubernatorial campaign, plug her handbag site, debut a homemade write-in jingle, and insult both Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown.
Woods Feels Taylor's Angst
Woods described hearing Taylor Swift's heartbreak so vividly that he pictured her alone in a rainy Los Angeles apartment, prompting Mikey to confess equally elaborate fantasies about songs being written for him.
The Male Masseuse Debate
Male massage therapist Tony challenged Mikey and Woods over their discomfort with male masseuses, while Mikey insisted his first massage left him tense and judged and Jay argued that professionalism made gender irrelevan
Minute Clinic Mistaken Identity
Mikey praised the CVS Minute Clinic and then admitted he opened an occupied exam-room door expecting Woods, greeted a shirt-lifting stranger, and only then saw Woods walking around the corner.
David Arquette Overshares
After David Arquette publicly defended dating during his separation from Courtney Cox, the crew split over whether he was reasonably protecting his name or selfishly airing intimate details that hurt his family.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayDerekRyder KellyAdam LesterJon StewartBarack ObamaRick SchwartzSandra RossiMeg WhitmanJerry Brown
30,645 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Sorry about that. We work on a delay, and I had the thing in what they call pre-delay. And so it took me eight seconds to realize that we were not on the radio. But now I know, and I am ready to rock and roll. You're forgiven. Thank you. I wear shirt today, and shirt is... Favorite shirt of my wife, Rebecca. Nice. Sharp, dude. Rebecca likes this one. I don't like it so much. I like it. You do? It's a nice color on you. There's nothing wrong with that at all. You know, there are some items of clothing that you like the way they look, but maybe you don't like the way they feel. Yeah. Just like there's a bunch of items of clothing that, oh man, don't they feel great when you put them on, but people look at you and they're like...
That's hideous. Kind of like the sweater I have on. It feels so good, but it's hideous. I don't think so, Woodsy. I think you look handsome. It feels real good. My sweater, I like the way it looks, but it's uncomfortable, like itchy. It does look great. Thank you. It does. I like the way it feels. I don't really like the way it looks. It's cashmere. Easy, big time. It looks like you guys are going on a matching, like... It looks like you're the L.L. Bean couple. Look at your sweaters. I know. They're exactly the same, Lauren and Woods. You want to go get a Starbucks? Yeah. I was thinking maybe we could just go to JCPenney or something. Yeah. Okay, so I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. Woods is 35, and he is the sports guy on The Mikey Show. Lauren is our assistant producer, and she is 29 years old. You're looking very confused right now. I think my headphones might be blown out or something. Really? Oh, no, really? It happened again? Sounds a little better now. Or is it like a crisp crackle? Sounds like a cereal. Crisp and crackle. Crisp crackle. Yeah, yum. Sienna is our news girl, and she is 25. Jay is our producer. He's 47.
I hear it, too. I got it, too. We all have it. We all got a crisp crackle. It's all right. I can deal with it. Figure it out later. Rise above. Yeah, keep going. Rise above? I want to hear it. Uh-oh. Seems to be only when you're talking. Could be. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Cross. It's Cross. Yeah. That's right. Do you have a crisp crackle? A tiny little bit. Yeah. Tiny little bit. You can ignore it. Yeah, you can definitely ignore it. We'll figure it out later. I thought it was my headphones. It kind of makes me feel better that it's not. Chris Crackle. It's Crasp. It's Crasp. We have some huge stuff today on this radio program. We got the San Diego Zoo coming in at 7.30. Oh, boy. And they are... going to be bringing in animals. I'm so excited. Me too. I'm petrified. Grow up. What if they bring a snake? Then you'll hold it. Then I'll hold it in the bathroom because that's where I'll be. I swear. That's the only reason that I wanted to do this. I'm telling you, if there's a snake in the studio, I will be in the toilet. I promise you. Stop it. I will freak out. I don't like snakes. I don't like snakes, but I kind of want to hold one. I have a theory.
I think that Jay knows that they're going to be scary. Oh, I know. He knows exactly what they're bringing. Another thing, if there is a tarantula, gone. Oh, me too. When I was little, my dad, lovely dad, we had a tarantula as a pet. Oh my gosh. As a pet. Woods, I am so glad that you said that because I would not have remembered this. So this last weekend, I was at a men's retreat up in the... Pyrenees. Up in the Pyrenees. And walked into where I was going to be speaking one day, and this guy had found a tarantula outside. Oh, my goodness. He found it outside walking in the wild, and he picked it up. And he put his hand like this to my hand, and it crawled onto my hand. No, no. And I held it for a little bit, and I kind of watched it, and then I turned my hand over, and it crawled over onto the other side. Why would you do that? You're insane. Of my hand. That's my number. One. Can't they kill you? Number one. Number one. They're all fuzzy. I'm telling you, dude, as your friend. Yeah. As your brother. Yeah. Get the delay ready. The dump when the animals come in if they are creepy. I'm telling you because I don't know that I can control myself. You can control it. No swearing. You guys are pros. I'm not a pro yet. Yes, you are. I'm freaking out already because I don't know what they're bringing. Well, this is what I said to my friend because Russ was there. Russ of Russ and Rachel. Russ and Rachel and Phoebe.
Chandler, Monica. So Russ was there and he goes, we walked out of there and he goes, I cannot believe that you did that. I can't believe it either. And I said, well, let me explain because I think that I can kind of logically walk you through this. When I was a kid, they would come to school and they, I don't know who they were. Maybe they were the zoo. Maybe they were they.com. I don't know what they were. Animal people. But they were animal people. Yeah. And they would come and they would do show and tell stuff for kids. They would bring animals that we could hold. Like I remember one time they brought a falcon. Wow. That's hardcore. It was awesome, man. They let the falcon fly onto a kid's shoulder. They have a little helmet on? Yeah, a little falcon cam. Cute. But, you know, they would bring in animals that you could handle. And sometimes it was snakes. You know, you could handle a snake. type and that was, you know, able to be handled. But one of the creatures that you can handle is a tarantula. And the reason that you can handle a tarantula is because they don't bite. They don't? No. And so when I was a kid, that's what I grew up knowing. In fact, every year they would do it. And it kind of got to be a boring bit like, oh, today is, you know, animal day.
And they would bring all these animals. And it was like, really? With the tarantula again? Like, haven't we already handled that? Don't you have any other animals that we can handle that are kind of like scary and oh my gosh, we can't believe we can actually handle this animal? Like a crocodile? It got old hat to you after a while. Well, it got to be something that as a kid we knew that tarantulas you could handle. Nope. Aren't some tarantulas more aggressive and poisonous than others? Yeah. There are. There definitely are. But I think, and I'm making a comment that I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I'm going to go out on a limb here. I think that most in North America, and specifically most around here, they're not going to bite you if you don't poke them with a stick. I don't recommend you doing it, though, if you don't know. That's fine. You know what I like about animals? Admiring from afar. Yeah. Or. Oh, there's a trillion show. Let's run. Through some glass. Yeah. I thought you were going to say the taste. Yeah. And the taste. M1 Nubian Prince. L-O-B. L-O-B. That needs to be our new thing. Every time Nubian Prince calls in, we've got to do L-O-B. On cue. Yeah. M1 Nubian Prince on the eight. What's up? You guys are killing me. Hey, good morning, guys. Man, I love you guys so much, man. Uh-huh. Yeah, you too, Lauren.
Mikey, handling fighters, dude? Forget about it, bro. No way. Yeah, they, you know, hey, listen, there are things that really, really creep me out. Rodents creep me out. When I was five, a neighbor friend had a gerbil, and he was in a box, and I was kind of afraid to touch it. Was it Richard Gere? No. Sorry. And... I was afraid to touch it. He goes, he doesn't bite. He's fine. Go ahead. And I did, and it bit me, and it bled. Oh, no. It bled, and ever since, it doesn't matter. Anything that looks like a gerbil, a mouse, a rat, whatever, I'm afraid of him. I got bit by a gerbil, too. You did? It hurt. Did it make you bleed? Yeah. Me, too. You guys are kidding me. I was a little boy. I was five. A little hamster. Yeah. No, I'm with them. I'm like, I wouldn't even touch one. Really? A gerbil? How funny is the word gerbil? It's supposed to be all fun and cuddling, and then it bit me, and the teacher was like, it probably thought your finger was a carrot. I'm like, great. That makes it better. Yeah, great. I don't need its justification. I just don't want to do it again. I'm not ever holding it. By the way, it's Richard Gere that made the word gerbil so funny. Yes. Gerbil. That's all I'm saying.
guys that this week's radio has been off the chain. I mean, seriously, you guys have made me laugh so hard at work. Thank you, man. Thank you very much. Thank you. Feels good. Thank you, man. I said to my wife, Rebecca, last night at dinner, I said, Sienna coming back has given us this like boost of energy. Yeah. My wife, you know what? It's like, it's like cat crack. is what it is. It's like straight, just mainlining it. Oh, wow. It had been like four days. There's a lot going on. We got Brett Favre with a mashup on Catcrack. I don't have anything going on over here. I know, dude. I saw a mouse going across my screen. I did. And it's because this screen is attached somewhere else. Oh, a mouse mouse. Yeah, not a mouse, like a... Rosent. Yeah, like a... Gerbil. A cursor. A cursor. I saw a cursor. Weird. That was the cat crack Brett Favre. That wasn't you? Sexting. I'm moving my mouse around, but it's moving on mine.
Oh, weird. Because I have to be able to move my mouse around. Things are whacked out in here today. The crackle and the crazy mouse. I know. And the mysterious Elvis. Mysterious Elvis in here. Someone put an Elvis just in the corner and no one knows how it got here. Behind glass. I think it's one of our engineers trying to scare us. It worked. It worked. I walked in this morning. I was the first one in here. I turned on the line like, ah! Yeah. Elvis built my... Elvis cut out. Yeah, cut out. That's what I'm looking for. Okay, word of the day. Got to give you word of the day. Word of the day today is champagne. Champagne. No, champagne. When I say champagne between now and 10, caller number nine is going to win. Something. Delightful. The air conditioner blew off my paper. Oh, dear. A pair of Gorillaz tickets. Wow. Tonight. Yeah, for tonight. Can I tell you how high in demand those things are? Yeah. I did an appearance last night. People were. Oh, yeah. freaking out for Gorillaz tickets. They're like, you need to get Gorillaz tickets? I was like, we're going to draw in 10 minutes, man. Hang out. We got any scotch tape in there? Uh, yeah. I thought so. I thought so. No, it's got to be scotch. I know. Have you ever eaten a whole roll of tape? Like I ate that roll of tape yesterday. It was like twice that size. What? That tape that Sienna just picked up. What do you mean? Eat it?
Yeah, I just pulled it around my finger and then just would chew on it and throw it away. No, Woods. Yeah. No one does that. Can I have it? Because it looks delightful. You can have the entire thing. A little breakfast for the kid. Wow. I got one. I don't know. Maybe it's on your desk. Something's out of whack, man. It's because it's almost Halloween. Things are going all crazy. Oh, there it is. There it is. Somebody's been trying to coup d'etat us in here. No, it's me. I probably put it there. You got to roll this guy's tape? No, no, no. You know what, though? Today's going to be fun because those days that start out real wacky, they get, we get wacky. We get lunatic. And I have a kombucha this morning. I know. Everything's going to be crazy. Okay, so I was distracted there. I want to go back. You ate tape like you chewed on it? Yeah, I'd like do this with it, and then I'm just like... He wraps it around his finger like a fruit roll-up, like you did when you were a kid. And it looks like... It's electrical tape, but it's green. Yeah, it's scotch 35 vinyl electrical tape. Delicious. And then after you chew it for a while, you spit it out and throw it away. And then maybe get fresh peas. Oh, my gosh. It's like you're treating it like it's fruit-by-the-foot gum. Yeah, like it's those roll, those gum rolls.
I'd like to ask an expert about people that are very... Oral? Yeah, that they chew stuff. I think the proper classification is legally insane. Oral fixation. All the stuff I eat. Isn't it anxiety about anxiety? I'm not anxious. I have to do something at all times. I have a big oral fixation. You do? Yep. Let's talk to M1 Derek. who's on the line, he has a brown recluse spider story. Before we start with Derek from San Marcos, you guys know what a brown recluse is? They're deadly, aren't they? They are deadly. And they're here in San Diego County. Brown recluse are here in San Diego County. Go ahead. What happened, Derek? First of all, I love you guys' show. You guys are awesome. Thank you. Yeah, so I grew up, I'm not afraid of any animals at all, but spiders. I grew up terrified of spiders. Last year, I got bit by a brown recluse, and it was eating my leg away. And I was in the hospital for almost two weeks and an IV 10 days after that. And now I can't even look at a spider on TV, let alone like 100 feet away, without having the hair on my arms and neck stand up like you wouldn't believe. And I'm just terrified of spiders.
Holy cow. Holy cow. So you don't have one. You were just, you were bitten by one? Bitten by one. We got in the house somehow and bit me on the leg. Oh, gosh. Were you sleeping or did you see it? Eating my leg away. Yeah, were you sleeping? I was sleeping, yeah. That is my worst fear. As a little kid, every night I made my parents lift up my sheets and check for spiders. Yeah. Sienna, let me tell you. One thing that I've learned about our girl Lauren O'Brien, L-O-B, is that... The thing that I think skeeves her out more than anything is the creepy crawlies while you're sleeping. Yes. And the reason is because she knows she has no control over it. Scary. That is scary. Every year we eat like 15 bugs when you're sleeping. What? Sure. You eat about 15 bugs. A year. A year. Don't even know it. I'm a mouth breather. Snoring away. I sleep like this. Woods, can you imagine that while you're doing it, can you imagine a little spider? Ew. Over the crest, over the summit of your mouth, and into your mouth. Walking on your teeth. Walking on your teeth. Why does it want to go all the way down there? Well, it's just trying to find a place, you know? It's nice and warm.
That just made my boys go up into my gut. Thanks for letting me know. You're welcome. All of us know. Yep. They are no longer there. M1 Lee in San Diego. Hey, how are you guys doing today? Good. Hey, as an electrician, electrical tape, you look on the warning label when you open up the package, it says it causes cancer. Oh, no. What's he? What's he? He already smokes and dips. Don't do it. Don't do it. No more. You're not going to get him to stop. So how did he go? That guy ate a ton of electrical tape. That's right. Listen, Woodsy likes to put cancerous stuff in his orifices. He really does. Really just my mouth, but wow. Yeah. Okay, so a couple of deals. Now my headphone, by the way, is getting a little buzz in it. A couple of deals that I just, I gotta give to you. Should we...
I'll say at 7 o'clock this morning, we will announce the winners of You to Manicure. We will announce the winners at 7 this morning of You to Manicure. Who's going to come with us tomorrow to get man-pampered? If you know somebody that entered, make sure they're listening. Yeah. Okay? Man-pampered. It'd be rad if they hear it live and all that good stuff. For sure. So, last night was game one of the World Series. Let me tell you, man, there is nothing cooler than hearing Joe Buck call a game. He is, when I hear that voice, man, it makes the hair on my arm set up. He's baseball in the postseason, man, and he's dynamite. Well, it was, I don't know about you, Woodsy, but I think that it lived up to the hype in terms of, you know, until the fifth inning. It lived up to the hype of the pitching matchup. It was a battle. You know, Lincecum is the guy that blinked first. And, you know, I thought, okay, Lincecum gave up two runs. That's all Cliff Lee needs. I mean, the guy has been baseball. You know, he's been the greatest postseason pitcher in the last couple years. And, you know, the guy ran out of gas last night, and he looked mortal.
He had been looking like you couldn't hit him, and the guy throws 91-92, but his ball has movement, and he just has ridiculous control. The Giants pounced on that guy, and the Rangers gave the game away. They had a chance to really put their foot on the throat of the Giants, and they didn't do it. They had bases loaded. They had runners on. The whole first part of the game. And when you don't capitalize and you let another team back in with your errors, the Rangers made four errors last night. And you can't do that in a World Series game. They looked like they were scared to death. And I'll tell you what, when you see Tim Lincecum pitch, Woodsy's right. You're watching a freak of nature. That's his nickname, the freak. Yeah. I mean, the guy is, he's a freak of nature. And he... I was texting with a friend of mine who's a big Giants fan, and I go, how is his head not in this game? Because it wasn't. It was not in the game. I mean, he made a mental mistake in the first inning that could have cost him dearly. He ran a guy back to third base, could have gotten him out and didn't. And I'm looking going, where's this dude's head?
As the game progressed, you could see him kind of settle in, get his wits about him, and just start dominating. And Cliff Lee, on the flip side, looked like me out there throwing. I mean, the guys were teeing off on him. Freddie Sanchez, it was his first World Series game ever. The Giants' second baseman. This is pretty cool. He had three doubles in his first three World Series at-bats, man. First player ever to do that in his first three World Series at-bat. He had started the postseason and two for 21, steps in against Cliff Lee, and, you know, looks like frigging Babe Ruth. And the Giants put a whooping on the Rangers. The Rangers made a little run, and the game finished at 11-7. But the game at the end, you know, I think they tacked on four runs in the ninth. So it was over at that point. Game one to the Giants. Woodsy will have more on game one of the World Series coming up in Woods on Sports. The top five neighborhoods to trick-or-treat in in San Diego, Sienna. What do we got? Well, first I just want to say that San Diego alone in the United States is the 13th best city to trick-or-treat in. Really? Yep. 13th? 13th best city in the United States to trick-or-treat in. Probably because of the weather.
Oh, yeah, yeah. They don't say why. Absolutely why. It's got to be part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I would guess that it's not that great trick-or-treating in Maine. It doesn't say what the top 12 are. No, it just says that the Zillow Trick-or-Treat Housing Index. You know, came up with that. That's a fun place to work. You don't get a whole lot of yard in San Diego, so the houses are close together, so it's good for the kids. You can clean up here. Actually, no, it does say later on in the article, it says the rankings were based on home value, population density, walk score, and crime data. Nice. Yeah. That's good. Very good. So the top five San Diego neighborhoods are La Jolla Village is number five, PB, Pacific Beach, Ocean Beach is number three, Carmel Mountain is number two, Kensington is number one. Really? Yeah. Never been to Kensington. Where is Kensington? Kensington's over by, it's on Adams Avenue. So if you're like between the, yeah, between the 15, yeah, it's by North Park. Yeah. Kensington. I wonder why. That sounds so nice. I lived in North Park. Yeah. I think it was much to write home about. It was okay, but I mean, it's, I've seen, all right, sorry. I've seen a lot.
Nicer areas. Yeah, I don't know what it's... Well, like I said, crime and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Based on statistics. Yeah. Yeah, tell me about it. Microbrews. Dynamite bars in North Park. I can't wait to get back. Comic-Con. Woo! It's a big, big day on Monday. Yeah. Comic-Con passes go on sale. Wow. Yeah, no... They sold out immediately last year and people were trying to get tickets, you know, when Comic Con comes every summer and they're sold out. So on November 1st, this Monday is when the four day passes go on sale and single day memberships go online. You get to go out next year and you get to try to figure out what everybody's all dressed up as. I'm not a witch. I didn't think you were. Online sales begin at 9 a.m. Pacific time. And do you know how much these these are? I thought they would be so much more expensive, but the four-day passes are rising from $100 to $105. That's not as bad as I thought it was. I thought it would be so much more. $100 a day or something? Single-day passes are rising from $35 to $37. A four-day pass is a nice little value for you. Yeah, for sure. Dude, I'm going again without question. I had a freaking blast last year. I haven't laughed that hard ever. I was just having a...
fun. I was having a great time. Yeah. You can buy swords. Mikey and I can go get our samurai swords. Yep. And we'll get one of those nasty burgers that we have. It'd be fun to broadcast from there. Yeah, I would love that. It would be. This year I want to go in full garb so no one can tell who I am. Oh, LMB. I would love it. I would too. You are a smelly pirate hooker. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's what people say. They're like, oh, I figured it out. 570-1949 is our number. You can also text us. And that is 949mikey at gmail.com. Speaking of nerdery. The con. Avatar. has confirmed something for us, and Woods has given us his Star Trek hands. I know. Well, people have been dying to know. Now, is there going to be an Avatar sequel? I hear rumors of one. Well, James Cameron has finally confirmed there's going to be two sequels to Avatar. Two? Yes, Avatar 2 is expected to be released in December of 2014. Oh, wow. Avatar 2, December of 2014. My goodness. They're going to make you wait a little while. You know,
Avatar has now become James Cameron's full-time job. Yeah. 100%. Oh, yeah. Well, besides, he was trying to help with the BP oil spill. Yeah. Yes, he was. He was going to create some sort of a lunar module. But that was kind of a hobby. It was a hobby. In his spare time, he plugs up oil spills. Do you think that he wakes up in the morning and he's like, oh, my God. I don't want to go to work today. The freaking blue people. Dude. No. I don't think so. I bet he does too, Sienna. I bet it's a grind for that guy. You guys, sometimes I was watching some of the making of that avatar and sometimes he would spend a month working on two seconds of film. Yeah, but I think... That's because he wants to. That's like his passion. He wants everything to be perfect. And I think that's because he's a perfectionist. Maybe. It would drive me crazy. By the third Avatar, it would look like a frigging puppet show. Because I'd be like, just whatever. Throw it together. I'm done. You know they're going to go see it. I'm done. They're going to see it. I'm done. It's like dudes with dangling marionettes. Avatar 3 should be in theaters December of 2015. Can't wait for that. I will hold my breath with you, L.O.B.
Hey, by the way, this is Foo Fighters. And speaking of the Foo Fighters, there's going to be a new Foo Fighters album. And this, when I tell you what's going to occur on this album, you're going to flip your lid. By the way, it's not looking good for the Chargers at wide receiver. They have, if you haven't heard, they've taken another hit. So if you're tall and you're fast and you have good hands, you might want to call the Chargers. I'll tell you what this new hit, the latest is, and also tell you about that new Food Fighters record next. In my car, I have an entire playlist that's just all George Jones. Love this song. I've said it before. There's just something about his voice and the way that he sings.
that breaks my heart in a particular way that I can listen to it over and over again. I think it's the equivalent for me of like Tori Amos for girls. Or Sarah McLachlan. Or Sarah McLachlan. Or Taylor Swift for me. Yeah, because you love you some Taylor Swift. Reminds me of my grandparents. Oh, dude, I just, I picture a much easier time of living. 100%. Sitting on a rocking chair. Drinking sweet tea real good. Not texting. Not Facebooking. Not tweeting. Imagine those days. I'd give it all up. Reading the paper. Just visiting with your wife, maybe. Do you think this guy's ever had some fresh scrambled eggs? With baking grease? Ever have any biscuits and gravy? With sausage in it? Do you think this guy's ever seen a chicken de-feathered?
Has he ever woken up and cooked an entire log of Jimmy Dean sausage for himself? Biscuits and gravy? He probably knew Jimmy Dean. He and Jimmy Dean used to hunt together. I was just going to say, him and Jimmy Dean used to sit in a boat and fish. Has he ever had a deer's head above a fireplace? You think this guy's ever had anything to have the taxidermies? Ever have a fur line cap? Oh my gosh. That's great. That's great. Love it. I like that game. I do too. Chew on a piece of straw. I do it all the time now with Rebecca. We'll see something. I remember the first time I ever did that to Mikey. There was some news story on and it was some hayseed woman. And I mean hayseed. Four teeth. And I go, hey man, you think she's ever had an ice cold Budweiser? And he almost fell on his chair. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to throw up. I thought I was going to throw up. I'm glad you didn't.
It's a fun game. Hey, are we doing the scare audio today or tomorrow? Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Holy cow. That will be the promo for tomorrow. Yes, yes, yes. Tune in. Yeah, yeah. Jay has been going around scaring people with a tape recorder. I don't even want to say any more than that, but he's been scaring people in the building. Because it's Halloween, he's been scaring people with a tape recorder. Hidden in his pocket. It's phenomenal. In his breast pocket. Then he pulls it out and he's like... It's phenomenal. We need a sensor button. No, for Woods. Quiet! No more! I don't even want to tell you anymore. Don't divulge anything. 7.30 this morning. It's going to be great with Woods again because the zoo's bringing a bunch of animals and he's freaked out by them. Isn't that weird? Because I have five dogs. And I'm such an animal lover. From a distance. For sure. So listen to this about the new Foo Fighters record. What do you got, Sienna? Due out in 2011, the Foo Fighters.
Now, I don't know that much about the Foo Fighters, but one of the guys in it was from Nirvana. Yes, Dave Grohl was the drummer for Nirvana. He's the singer, guitar player, songwriter for Foo Fighters. Okay, well, now he's teaming up with the Nirvana bassist, Chris... Chris Novoselic. Yes. And so they're teaming up together. He's making guest appearance on bass, and so the Nirvana members are kind of reuniting in the Foo Fighters album. That is so cool. That's cool. Because Chris Novoselic... has not done much since the Nirvana days. I think by choice. He's had a couple little bands. He did some political stuff and some activism stuff, but he hasn't done, you know, the big record. And that's just really cool to see those two back together. Was there some bad blood after Nirvana? No, never. They never had bad blood. They just were like, this was so big, this ride we were on. Dave went and did his thing and went bigger. And Chris was like, I'm going to go smoke pot and cut wood. The album's actually being produced by the same guy who produced their album, Nevermind. Butch Vig, right? Man, you're good. Yeah. Wow. That's rad. Let me tell you something, man. Holy cow. That's going to be a good record. That's going to be a good record, man. That's going to be a really good record. And just kind of just think about how much money Nirvana generates because Chris Novichelic.
Nova Selleck has not had to work a day. No. He's just living off royalties and stuff like that. Chopping wood. Mm-hmm. You're going to be excited the day that comes out, Woods? I'm going to be ecstatic. Anytime a Foo Fighters record comes out, I'm ecstatic because I love that band so much. Yeah. Woods is going to have a little party at his house popping champagne real good. Oh, yeah. The day that that thing comes out. We'll be popping bottles. You know that. It'll probably smell like teen spirit. It will. It probably will. I say it will. Just come as you are, though. I mean, you guys come as you are. Never mind. All apologies, guys. All apologies. Really? Nothing else? I immediately thought bad habit. I'm like, I think that's Green Day. So, Sienna says that she is thinking that she might have to have... Her baby's outfit for Halloween. Tailored? Really? Mom! What is wrong with that? Call over the Italian Taylor Fausto and have him measure Sagey. Is Hugo Boss not around? Can you not get him on the phone? Just beat us. Actually, today is her two-month birthday. Happy birthday, baby Sage. Happy birthday. Yes. And she...
I had to order her costume online because I haven't found any cute ones that come in her size. So I got online, and it just came in the mail a couple days ago. Put it on her, and it's a little big. Because it has the built-in feedies and everything. Great. And so I was going to take her to the tailor and put it on her and have him alter it. I need it to fit. It's adorable. I think that's awesome. I think that's awesome. Yeah, you got to. I told my friend, and she shamed me out of it. She's like, you're going to bring an eight-week-old baby to the tailor? He's going to be laughing. You're out of your mind. Why? She's going to be a little black cat. Not all black. You know that. There's white on the cat. Yeah, she hates black cats. She hates black cats. It scares her. It has a pink bow tie and it even comes with a mouse rattle. It's adorable. Sienna is... way superstitious. And Ella B. doesn't like white cats, so that's how that works. Yeah, so it's like a whole one-piece cat, so her feet hang, so I need it to fit. Jay, what's wrong with taking the baby, the tailor? What's the deal? Why won't you just sew it yourself? Really? Because I'm worried about poking her, and I need to, like, someone has to hold the baby. It's a process. Yeah. You know, baby squirm. Can you sew?
I'm okay. Yeah, I could probably do it. Really? I thought about cutting off the feet and not having the feet, but the feet are so cute I need them there. I think it's a fantastic idea. Cut the feet off and sew them back on to the right length. Yeah, I don't have the time. By the way, M1 Angela from San Marcos is on the line. Are you there, Angela? I sure am. What was the word of the day? Word was champagne. That's right. Popping champagne at Woodsy's house. Nice. The word was champagne, and you just won a pair of Gorillaz tickets for tonight. That's right. Good winner. And you also got a pair of tickets to the FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Bash, which the entire Mikey show, Sans Woodsy, because he has to be out of town, will be singing at that 8th Anniversary Bash. Awesome. So hang on the line, will ya? I will. Hang on. That is one hell of a prize, my friend. Yes, it is. Now, Sienna also says, and this is something else that Sienna and I have in common, that she has no idea what she's going to be for Halloween. Yeah. Makes three of us. You don't either? I kind of have an idea. Ella B., so tomorrow, we are supposed, the Mikey show is supposed to dress up tomorrow. No, the Mikey show.
Is dressing up tomorrow. We are, but I'm warning you, my costume is not going to be what it will be on Halloween, most likely. I don't have anything. I'm sorry. I don't. I don't yet. I don't yet. I kind of know what I want. I don't yet. I don't yet. Once he's banging his head on the microphone. Listen. I'm going to be the only. You didn't have to do any work. I know. You had your costume made for you. And one baby kitten made me a real sweet Elvis costume. It's amazing. It must be nice. All Lauren has to do is throw a scarf on, put some goggles, and she's Amelia Earhart. Yes, with her jacket. With that jacket. It really does look like Amelia Earhart's jacket. That's actually not a bad idea. That movie's coming out. Oh, yeah. Woods, today, the Mikey Show's got a meeting that'll probably last until three in the afternoon. When that meeting is over, I have to go to Mira Mesa. I have a mandate after that meeting as well. You do? Yeah, I'm throwing a bullpen and hitting some batting practice. Okay. And then after that, I have to go to CVS. Okay. You need to go to sleep. And then after that, I have to get home because we have growth group tonight. You know what, Mike? You know what, pal? There's a...
Spirit store right off the 5 in Lucadia. Oh, you must not have heard what I just said. I heard you. You have five minutes. CVS has costumes. Maybe ask your lovely wife or Nita, maybe go pick something out at Spirit today for you. You know, when I agree to come to this country, I don't agree to go to do your personal shopping. Michael, have you look in mirror? Yes. You go as this. You look. You look hysterical. You look hysterical anyway. I think you just go put a hat on. I have a question for you. Let's say I agree to go to get your costume. Do I go to Baby Gap? In my country, we scare of spooks. We don't make jokes and dress like clown and other silly events. Aren't you living costume? Michael, I find you very lovely. How do you say? Strawberry costume for Halloween? All Woods wants is for Mike to be a strawberry. More than anything. I second that. You know what? Go get him the strawberry costume. I have so much to do today, but I'll see if the missus is free for about half an hour to run up there and look and see if there's a strawberry. And you have to wear what she buys you. I can't sit in the chair if it's a big strawberry. Well, we'll figure it out. That was good. But will you trust my wife to get your costume?
I'm afraid not because if it's a strawberry, I won't be able to sit in this chair. Well, what if it's not a strawberry? What if it's like a toddler Spider-Man's outfit? What if it's an enchilada? I don't care what it is as long as I can sit in this chair. I will see if my wife would be kind and sweet enough to go pick you out a costume. That's really nice. Can I trust you? It's not me. It's her. Oh, you'll give every bit of direction to her. She'll call. Okay, there's this or there's this. Oh, yeah. And you'll coach her. Woods. Woods, Woods, Woods. Woods, Woods. Woods on sports. I'm going to get to some World Series talk. But first of all, Woods in Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I want to tell you about the Chargers receiving corps. Corps? Yeah, corps. So, they've been... beat up all year. You know, Vincent's not playing. Legadoo Nane has been hurt. Malcolm Floyd has pulled his hamstring. Yep. Did not practice. And expected to miss at least one more week. And then they have the bye November 8th. Buster Davis has some busted ribs. Are you serious? Yeah, dude. And Legadoo did finally practice since his hamstring injury against Oakland. They have added, they're going to add
Practice squad member Gary Banks to the squad. Also, Richard Goodman, who's a rookie, he dislocated a finger and split the webbing of his hand. When he tried to catch a pass? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. Nothing worse than that. Jesus is creeping me out. Oh, that's terrible. Oh, my gosh. We have like two wide receivers. Yeah. They're like snake. Plus, Gates has been hurt. They said, listen, Gates, he's good enough. He didn't have to practice every day. Expect to see him on Sundays and Sundays only. Do you think that there's any part of AJ that's like, all right, maybe I'll offer Vincent a ginormous contract? He's probably being pretty stubborn. He's going to be stubborn and be like, I don't care. Well, Vincent will be back. In what? Three weeks now? He will be back. So he has to in order to become a restricted free agent. Does he have to play? I think he's probably going to have to play, wouldn't he? Because they don't have anybody else. And if he's on the roster, they're going to probably throw him in there, would they not? I guess. I guess. It's pretty insane, man. But we talked a little bit in the open. If you didn't hear, the Giants beat the Rangers 11-7. Cliff Lee didn't even make it five innings. And he is, you know, when you're...
When your ace gets pounded, you know, in basically the first round, and he's got a bloody nose and a busted eye, it's going to put you on the ropes for the whole series. I mean, they expect Cliff Lee to go out and get a win. So it should be an interesting turn. I mean, I thought the Rangers would be fine after they scored two runs. I thought Lee would sail, but he did not. No. So Giants take game one. Also, we have – oh, actually, Tim Lincecum was the starting pitcher last night, and he had kind of a rough start, but he battled through it. Cut to. You try to approach every single one of these games as if it's just another game. No need for that added pressure, at least that's what I like to say. So when you go out there, just try to keep yourself collective, and you start worrying about that next inning and throwing up a zero and whatever you can do to help the team win. Yeah, he's the freak. Yeah, he is. Fun to watch pitch, that's for sure. Brett Favre is not ruling himself at a Sunday's game at New England despite two fractures in his left ankle. So he has, as we've talked about, the streak. It's the big deal. You know, 315 games, including the playoffs. He has not missed one. He doesn't want anybody to ever break that record. Well, yeah. But, you know, at this point at his age and his career, let's hear what Brett has to say about the streak. Cut three. It makes for good TV talking about the streak and bulletin.
Are you kidding me, Brett, with that? I'm sorry. First of all, nobody's talking about his streak right now. They're talking about his peace right now. That's what they're talking about. Will this be the injury that stops him or whatever? You know, whether it ends this week, whether it ends at the end of the year, it ends. And I will always be proud of it. Listen, I'm not usually one to doubt somebody. If they say it, you know, I like to take them at, Face value. But to say that he doesn't care about his record, it's just like you're in the Guinness Book of World Records and you go, I don't care if it gets broke. See, I don't buy that either. You care. Of course you care. Not only do you care, you want to keep building on it and building on it and building on it because you want it to get so far out of reach that nobody breaks it. That is my opinion. That's a good take, Mike. And then finally, The Heat.
are now 1-1. They got their first win, 97-87 over the Sixers. I mean, it is the Sixers, but Dwayne Wade scored 30. LeBron James, what did big LeBron do? I knew it. I had it, and I lost it. Like 16. I think he scored 16, and Boston was like 15. So Dwayne Wade took the bull by the horns and poured in some points last night, 97-87. So they're kind of getting on the right track. Yeah. And that's Woods on Sports. There it is. Miley Cyrus' parents are getting a divorce. Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. 17 years of marriage. Have you heard about last night, Jon Stewart? A little bit. I wanted to save it because I wanted you guys to fill me in real good. Jon Stewart had Obama on last night. Now, you know Jon Stewart. He's moderate, but he mostly leans left.
the news headline will probably be, are Obama's people insane? Why did they let him on Jon Stewart's show? Because Jon Stewart jammed him up real good. Wow. By the way, Obama's approval rating right now, 37%. I was going to say one. 37%. And let me tell you, George W. Bush got down that low, but it took him... the last year of his second term. Obama's managed it in two years. Wow. So you'll hear him on Jon Stewart last night. And what Jon Stewart said to him, I'll just give you a little taste. He basically said that he doesn't even think that Obama gets his own health care stuff. Play you the audio next. Oh, wow. Give us a little country moon, pal. Country moon. I've got a good woman. That's right. Real good. Who thinks I do no wrong? Think that guy's ever told a racial joke? Wow. Wow. Think he does have a little shotgun? Think that guy's ever been skeet hunting? Wait. Think he's ever gone a week without brushing his teeth? No. Woods. That's Junior, isn't it? Yeah.
Yeah. That ain't Hank Williams Sr. That's Hank Williams Jr. I was feeling his roots yesterday for some reason. I like it. I do too, man. You know what? I've never heard that. I know of it. I know of the song. Yeah, I know the song Whiskey Benton Hellbound. I've heard that name. This is the first time I've ever heard it. I'm in. It's so good. Santa, does that do anything for me? I know you like newer country. Does that do anything? No, I like the old country too. I like that, yeah. L-O-B. Yeah. Oh, rad. That's Jay? That's your roots, pal. You know Jay likes it. Nope, I don't. Come on! He doesn't. No, it was forced on me as a kid. I just could not stand it. Everywhere you went, you go in the bathroom, country music playing. You go here, you work at a place, the gas station, it's just everywhere. It's just country rapists real good. Yeah, they just assault you with it and you can't do anything about it. No means no, man. So, the Jon Stewart. This is...
All over the news today. Just everywhere. And before we do that, because I'm going to get to that in a couple of minutes. Before we do that, I want to announce the winner of the two winners for the You the Manicure contest. Nice. The moment of truth. Whoever they are, they're clearly manly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's how we did it. countrymen and neighbor come out of the woodwork for this. Every friend of ours, and I'm not kidding you, it seemed like every friend we have was like, I want to go, I want to go. Yeah, they want in. And so I said, I don't want any part of deciding. Yep. So we gave our promotion director, Adam, all of the entrants, and he's a smart guy. I said, go through these poems, find the ones that you thought were the best. And don't give me any names. I don't want to see any names, email addresses, anything. I just want you to get the five best poems. Just let me see the poems. So he did. And we chose two. All right. So the winners are Kelly. Well, wait a minute. Yeah. Kelly Ryder and Adam Lester. Bam. Bam. Kelly and Adam.
So these guys tomorrow get to go get all pampered with you guys in a limo. Lucky. Yes. Shaved up with a straight razor, real good. Yeah, I do not know these guys and did not know who they were, didn't know anything about them. We just had to pick the ones that we thought were the best, and then Adam wrote who they were. Cool. And they were Kelly Ryder and Adam Lester. Okay, first, Kelly's poem. Kelly says in his poem, because basically the idea was, write us a poem telling us why you want to be mampered. Oh my gosh. This was born of the fact that Woods has never had a massage. Yes. So tomorrow he gets a hot towel shave. He gets a massage. He gets a pedicure. And a facial. Yeah, not fair. Lauren and I can't go either. Oh yeah, my wife last night at dinner, furious. Mine too. It's not fair. It is not fair. She goes, can me and Jamie and Kim and Sienna and Lauren do something every week where we get to do something and maybe we get to do like something? Yeah, at least this. And I go, not every week. Yeah, we're only going once. Yeah, we're only going once. And she goes, well, I think that we should be able to have a day where we do something. That's like a woman's dream day.
Besides the towel shave. I don't need that. You don't want a fresh towel shave. No. How hysterical would it be to see all of our wives and L.O.B. and Sienna getting a towel shave? Maybe we can do it razor-less so you guys can have the visual. Yeah, there you go. Shave with a butter knife. That's what I used to do when I was a little kid. Really? How come you wouldn't want to do the real thing? It won't cut you. It won't cut my face? No, I mean, it'd be more to cut our face because we actually have stubble. You guys don't have stubble. Well, we have tiny, tiny little baby hairs everywhere. way easier for you guys to not get cut than it would be for us. But what if we shave it? Then we'll grow back. Then you'll have a full beard. You guys look like Mikey. Alright, so here's Kelly's actually I'll do Adams first then Kelly's. Adams is take a short minute to read this little poem. I give you some reasons why I should be gone. I like to watch hunting and I love to fish. I can grow a pretty good beard and I dress manly-ish. Jeans and flannels. Slime and snails. Give me a shave.
And shine up my nails. Put me in a limo that looks like a Hummer. Make me look like a rock star or maybe just the drummer. Nice. Genius. I got a big belly that I'm trying to lose. What? I don't drink bug. I don't do drugs. I don't drink booze. Nice. I go to the gym and I take a boxing class. I work real hard and I sure bust my assuming. And he does that. He dot, dot, dots it. He says, assuming I do get selected, a massage would be nice if no muscles was neglected. That's brilliant. I'm not being creepy like J, L-O-B, or Woods. Those massage people better not get too close to the goods. Oh, my gosh. Choosing me for the Euda manicure crew, it'll be tons of fun until Woods swallows his chew. Very, very nice.
Like Bill Shakespeare over there. That's right. And then this is Kelly Ryder. Or I hope it's not Ryder Kelly. I mean, I hope I'm not getting it. I hope Kelly's a dude. Yeah. Kelly's a dude, too. Maybe his name is Ryder Kelly. We know Kelly. Either way, it's a good name. Yeah. He says, I surf, I camp, I have even wrestled a bear. I feel at home when I'm in my man lair. I thought he was going to say underwear. When it comes to pain, I grin and bear it. Speedos, pink, and v-necks will not wear it. A big, bold chest is where it's at. I can play any sport and swing a mean bat. Oh, I was like, oh. Swing a mean bat. Right to woods to uphold my manhood. I will go to any means.
I want to get it. I want to slap any guy. I read this. You break the whole thing. I screwed it up. Maybe Woods reads this one. You want me to read it? Woods, you want to read it? Yeah, I'll read it. I have a better tongue for poetry. Oh, wow. You do. I have a very sophisticated palate. He puts it in parentheses. Paragraph? Oh. I surf, I camp, I've even wrestled a bear. I feel at home when I am in my man lair. When it comes to pain, I grin and bear it. Speedos pink and V-necks, I will not wear it. A big, bold chest is where it's at. I can play any sport and swing a mean bat. To uphold my manhood, I will go to any means. I want to slap any guy in skinny jeans. I change my own oil and work on my car, and when the day's work is done, I smoke a cigar. Tough men like Jay and I are fewer and fewer. That's why I need a manicure. Wow! Yeah! That was great. Very good, gentlemen. So, congrats. And they get to bring a friend with them, right? Yeah, they do. So, it's tomorrow. It's Ryder Kelly, by the way. It's Ryder Kelly. Yeah? Yeah, wouldn't they do last name, comma, first name? Yeah. And by the way, I would allow them... To bring us? Let me say this. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Hold on. Okay.
I would allow them to bring you. However, you guys would have to get a straight razor shave. No. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's what we're doing. We'll drink champagne while you do that. Maybe just at your face, get the straight razor shave. I'll give them to, do we need to get them on the phone or anything? Yeah, they probably have friends. No, let them bring their friends. I don't want to put pressure on them. We don't want to ruin the man time. Yeah. Bromance. Go on our own. Spa day. You know you guys really wouldn't have the hair grow back. Yeah. But what if it did? It'd be stubbly, though. Yes, it would, Mike. I had a girlfriend that used to shave her upper lip. Oh, my God. I didn't realize it until later in life. You have to do it over and over and over. And even then, it doesn't really. I don't want to take my chances. I like my face the way it is. Can you imagine if you grew a beard? Okay, wait. Let's do President Obama. Yes. So, President Obama and Jon Stewart. So, here is... Here he is talking to him about, yes, we can. There are folks, I'm sure, who don't think that we've achieved the ideal. And so I guess on all these issues, my attitude is if we're making progress step by step, inch by inch, day by day, that we are being true to the spirit of that campaign.
So you wouldn't say you'd run this time as a pragmatist. You would not. It wouldn't be, yes, we can, given certain conditions. No, I think what I would say is, yes, we can, but it's not going to happen overnight. Really? Because, you know, when you said, yes, we can, what we thought is that it would be overnight. By overnight, you mean a couple of years? Okay. This is what I told my brother, my brother Mark, who, by the way, campaigned for Barack Obama. I said, you realize that he's saying a bunch of stuff that he cannot do. I mean, it's the stuff he's saying. He can't do it. He said, like what? I said, Mark, do you believe that every American will have free health care?
Do you believe that? And he said, yes. And I said, would you make a $5 bet with me? He says, yeah. I said, Mark, at the end of his term, he will not have that done. And he said, oh, I'll take that bet in a minute. And I said, wait, wait, wait, wait. I said, I'm going to make it harder. I'm going to make it harder. Let's say he gets elected for a second term. Let's say that he gets elected for a second term. I said, we'll make the bet. that he won't even do it in eight years. Wow. He can't. In eight years, I think he could. He can't. I think he could. He's lost two. Yeah. So it's six years now. But this is the part that I was telling you about. This is where John Stewart, who, by the way, Obama supporter, okay, says, you think your legislation has been a little bit timid? And do you think that maybe...
you know even sometimes a question whether you know what you're doing with the health care deal is is the difficulty that you have here the distance between what you ran on and what you delivered is that you ran with such if i may audacity you know so much of what you said was great leaders lead in a time of opportunity uh we're the ones we're looking for yet legislatively it has felt timid at times, that I'm not even sure at times what you want out of a health care bill. And this is, John, I love your show. I'm glad. Very kind of you. By the way, no way in a million years did Obama think that Stewart was going to do this. Oh, yeah. What would you think, though? I mean, going on to a, it's on Comedy Central, isn't it? Yeah. What do you think, you're going to shoot hoops? I mean, I think he probably had an idea it was going to be pretty tough. Not from Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart's a supporter, always has been. But he also came out last week and said he was very disappointed in the way things had been. I mean, that was a news story last week. You know, this is a personal opinion. I think that when you're the president, you think, he's not going to do that. I'm the president of the United States. When I'm sitting in front of him, he's not going to have the rocks to, you know, he'll be cool. Yeah. After all.
I've agreed to come on his show. He'll be cool. But this is something where, you know, I have a profound disagreement with you, and I don't want to lump you in with a lot of other pundits. But this notion... You may. No, no, look, this notion that health care was timid, you've got 30 million people who are going to get health insurance as a consequence of this. You've got a patient's bill of rights that... Make sure that insurance companies can drop you when you get sick if you've been paying premiums. Make sure there aren't lifetime limits. Make sure that kids who don't have health insurance can stay on their parents' health insurance until they're 26. By the way, they do this kind of thing in Hungary where our nanny Nita's from. They do this kind of thing. She tore her MCL, okay? And you can go to the doctor. For free, right? Right. So she goes to the doctor, and the doctor looks at it, and he says, I think you can take, you know, ibuprofen. Oh, wow. Advil. And she says, yeah, but don't you want to take some x-rays? Don't you want to do anything? And he says, I don't think you need. I don't think you need. I think you're good.
Does what he says. She takes the ibuprofen. And she goes home and she says, a week later, it is killing her. Yeah. It's a bad injury. It's killing her. And so she goes back and waits. Because you have to wait forever. Because it's not like an appointment thing. You just go and you wait. So she waits and waits and waits. Finally sees the doctor. Same doctor, right? And he says, yes, yes, yes. I think that this is probably something where, you know, it may be required of surgery. But that will cost blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So if you need surgery, you're going to have to pay for the surgery. You could see a doctor. You could go see the doctor. But if you require something more, it's going to cost something. So she says, they also have.
private hospitals so they got this place where she went right that the government will pay for kind of like we might have right and then you can if you need it it'll cost you a lot but you can go to a private hospital soon as she went she said it was like a whole other world let's do an x-ray bubble oh yeah you're jacked up you know private hospital is you pay out of pocket yeah okay yeah you can go to the free one but the free one's not gonna it's it's terrible Well, what are their medical board standards? Are they the same as ours? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. But, I mean, standards in terms of, like, here's what standards are. Cleanliness. You know? I mean, we have that. If you do get an operation, you can guarantee that your stuff's going to be clean. Can you? Yeah, exactly. You can find sponges in people. But, you know, I mean... Those are the exceptions. Here's the thing.
When you have to pay for an entire nation, I mean, we're talking about millions of people. When you have to pay for that, it isn't free. It costs like you have to pay for it. You know, not us, but the government has to pay for it so that we can have it. They don't just go in with machine guns and say to doctors, you're now going to give people free health care. It's going to be free and you must do this. It's like, oh, no, it's going to happen, but it's got to be paid for by somebody. And then what happens is it becomes really, really crowded. You're not going to find a Republican in the world, a conservative in the world that doesn't think that it sounds pretty awesome that everybody would be insured. I think everybody can agree on that. It's just.
Well, how do you pay for it? Unrealistic. Well, not only that, but what will it be like? What will it actually look like? We don't have to look any further than other countries. Other countries have it going on right now. If you've seen the movie Sicko, which I haven't, by the way, they show you, Michael Moore shows you how it's happening right now in countries like Canada. But what he doesn't show you is countries like Hungary. But aren't we more comparable to Canada than we are to Hungary? Why? Because they're our neighbors. Have you ever been to Canada? Yeah. It's a lot like here. Yeah. Hungary is too. I've never been to Hungary. I've never been to Hungary, but I've been looking at it. I didn't know anything about it until Nita came to stay with us. It's nice. It's beautiful and it's very comparable to here. It's also old world Europe too. We all know the conveniences that we have in America are far and above what's in Europe. Let me ask you this. When you think of...
Italy, what do you think of? I mean, as far as the way that they live. Pretty antiquated, actually. I mean, except for Milan, Rome, things like that. Yeah. Milan. Right. Wood shops. Yeah, where I shop. The majority of the population of Hungary, it's right there in Budapest. Right. I'm telling you, man. I had no idea. Probably a legit city. I had no idea. But the government's run a lot differently there than it is here. Yeah. The government there is run kind of like this. thing that I don't like. Right. The government's going to run it. I mean, it has its pros and it has its cons. Sure. The pro is, if you want to, you can just go to the doctor. Which is fantastic. The con is that you wait in a big, long line and the level of the care is not good. It's not as good. I just went and had to wait in a big, long line. I mean, I was paying an outrageous amount. I still waited in a forever line. I waited an hour and a half. Hey, Jay, double it, bro. You know, I've had friends that are from Canada, and they loved it. Ours, too. They thought it was amazing. I did. Remember Mike over at Clear Channel Flounder? Yeah. That guy said that he lived, I want to say in England where they do it? Right. He said it was brutal. Same story as Nita with the waiting. You wait like, you don't wait an hour and a half.
You wait like four hours. We should get some Canucks to call in and tell us what they know. I think we're still more comparable to Canada. I agree with that because I recruited all of our Canadian offices and I had to really delve into, you know, because as a company, the company I worked for previously, if I recruited you here in California, I'd just get you signed up to health insurance. And Sienna, you're signed up, just sign here. You're done. With the Canadians, it was different because they have standardized health care. So I had to delve into kind of their laws. They loved it. I mean, all the people that I worked with were like, yeah, you guys do not know what you're doing down there with that stuff. And it's, you know, it's still expensive. I mean, you still pay. Like, Jamie had her mother in the hospital. That ain't cheap. It ain't cheap at all. I will say this. I mean, by no means am I saying that I think that our health care system. is good. I don't. In fact, I want to say it's really messed up. So let me put that out there. And I think that there needs to be like, in the purest sense of the word, change, reform in our healthcare system because it's jacked. It's expensive and a lot of people don't get it. I get it. It needs to be fixed. What I wasn't for was universal
Well, I mean, I am in dreamy dreamy land. Right. I'm like, oh my gosh, that sounds so awesome. But what I'm not down with is how you're going to do it and what it's going to look like and all that stuff. And that is what trips me out about it really bad. It won't be easy, but yes, we can. Hope. Yeah, those are good words. 37% of America agrees with you right now. Exactly. Hey, I voted for the guy and I probably won't again, unfortunately. He is handsome. Really? He is. I am. Everybody knows the deal with Charlie Sheen. He had to go to the hospital. He freaked out. They think it was drugs. I mean freaked out. Bad. Seven grand in damages? Yeah. Throwing furniture. Well, his ex-wife, Denise Richards, was on the Today Show yesterday, and they were asking her whether or not she's actually the one that called 911. So we got that, and we got the zoo animals coming in here, Woods. We'll be back. Gotta have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world by the tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy!
On FM 94.9. It's almost time. Time for the party that Charlie Sheen would be proud to attend. The FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Dash. Presented by Miller Lite. November 13th at 4th and B. Check out the old state. Little hood right front makes me sick. Peanut. In Texas. Sequestered. I remember the little boy. Night marchers. Company of thieves. New politics. Are you freaking out? What is it? I just saw what it is. What is it? The San Diego Zoo is in with us right now, and they are right next to Woods, and he's freaking out. So hang on just a second. Don't do anything yet. Hang on. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, yesterday a Pakistani-born Virginia man was arrested for plotting to bomb Washington, D.C.
There are train stations and subways. I guess he's 34 years old. He thought he was working with the Al-Qaeda operatives on the plan, but instead it was undercover. Yeah, good. Yeah, so he is busted, could face 50 years in prison if convicted. See ya. Also, be careful if you like to go naked at Black's Beach. Now we know it's been. up in the air. Like, can you be naked? Can you not? Well, they're going to start sighting here pretty soon. And they've already started at the Santa No Free. Yeah. So you may want to put on a bathing suit next time you head down there. Yeah. Have you ever hung out there nude? No, but I like to people watch. You can see them nude. I'm going to go check it out. I like to go look at old, you know, 75 year old dudes out there. It's liberating. Hanging brain real good. What's going on? What's going on in sports? Well, it was actually a really sad day yesterday at the University of Notre Dame. A student that was filming the football practice for the team fell off a tower and died. So it was just awful. It was a hydraulic scissor lift. His name was Declan Sullivan. He was 20 years old from Long Grove, Illinois, passed away. Just a really, really sad thing. It was 50-mile-an-hour winds, hit the tower, and knocked them out. So who is the worst player in the NFL?
Oh, wow. Yeah, it's crazy. They are saying, based on statistics, it would probably be Aaron Maben for the Bills. He has 21 tackles in 21 games. He has no sacks. This season, he's been on the field for 66 plays with no results. Oh, wow. Aaron Maben, you have now been named the worst player in the NFL. Today's probably a good day for him. Imagine getting that call. Yeah. From your agent? Yeah. Seeing that article? Yeah. He's like, hey, you just won an award, pal. You're the worst in the NFL. You're trying really hard, but you're the worst. That's right. Sir, what is your name? I'm Rick Schwartz, San Diego Zoo ambassador. There you go. And Rick brought in like a little dolly, and the dolly's got all kinds of little boxes with towels over them. Want to keep them covered. Want to keep them covered. Woods is actually right next to you. I would say he's right next to me at this point. He's pushing me into a corner. He's pushed away as far as he can. I don't know what is in there. And he's reaching in and he's pulling out something. What is he pulling out? Something I don't want to hold. What is that? Is it a hissing cockroach? Oh my gosh. Actually two hissing cockroaches.
Holy cow. Wait, how do you do that? You squeeze it? No, no, don't squeeze it. You don't squeeze it. No, just rub them on the back and it's a natural instinct for them to go ahead and hit. No, you can rub them on the back. I ain't rubbing it on the back. I'll rub it. Can I rub it? You're going to rub it? I'm going to do it. Do it, Sienna. Oh my gosh, Sienna. You're a bigger man than I am. Oh my God! She couldn't touch it. It's not hissing. It must like you. Yeah. She's a cockroach whisperer. I was pushing hard. You were? Not that hard. No, no, not that hard. But yeah, these are about Madagascar. Madagascar hissing cockroaches. You know why I know that? Because you watched the movie? You ate one. Discovery Channel. I didn't. Some dude that you liked did? No. Some person that was competing in a contest did. They actually did. And it was the foulest thing. But these are real sweethearts and we're not going to harm them. No, we're not going to eat these at all. No, we're not going to eat them at all. We're going to love them.
And we have not only a really cool insect. Oh, L.O.B. L.O.B. just looked and sat right back down. Looks like a giant bed bug. Oh, my goodness. I wouldn't want to find that in my kitchen. Woods is flipping out. Yeah, he's literally much whiter than he was earlier. He really did. A little more pale. Hey, Woods, this is a true statement. You've changed color. I know. He's pale. Like Woods has, like all the blood has left his face. He gets real scared. He gets real scared. What is that? You don't like the creepy crawlers. Well, the deal with these guys, they can't hurt us. They freak us out because of the way they move. They surprise us because they might pop out from areas we're not expecting. And hiss at you. And hiss at you in this particular case. And they look like aliens. Maybe so, or maybe aliens look like them. I don't know, which it is. But either way, they're really important. All insects and bugs, although they creep us out and give us the heebie-jeebies. Without any bugs and insects on this planet, this planet would cease to exist as we know it within about three weeks. Really? Why? Why? Well, cockroaches here and many other bugs and insects are decomposers. So any and all plant and animal life that passes away is quickly decomposed and turned back into soil for the rest of us to live off of. Crops, farms, everything would just stop existing. Now, I don't understand, and I've always wanted to understand. I used to have, when I was really into growing tomatoes, I had this compost deal in my garage.
And what we would do is we would throw lettuce and we would throw like leftover stuff in there with a bunch of worms. Yeah. And the worms would eat it and they would turn it into soil, you know, and I. I never understood that. Well, they're not actually turning it into soil. Soil, in its most simplest form, dirt is going to be sand or clay, and a mixture of that would be loam. What the worms are actually producing is worm waste. It's worm poo. Oh, is there poo? But it's so rich in minerals and everything else because of the way their body digests things, it's great for growing your tomatoes or anything else. Got it. Now, you mix that with normal soil, it creates really nutritious and abundant soil for your plants. So that's a great example of what I'm talking about. it, too. Without all these bugs and insects, the majority of our birds would pass away. Why? Because they could eat them. This is a huge food source. I thought they ate all... We're talking several hundreds of thousands of babies just from one cockroach. I thought birds ate the stuff that I drop at Starbucks. Well, that might be some birds. That might be some birds, but not all birds. And there's not enough, believe it, it's hard to believe, but not enough of us and enough Starbucks to keep all bird species alive. That's true. Can you rub that guy again? Sure. At least I heard that, though, I got in trouble. Cockroach.
No, he's not doing that. Let me see if we can get his buddy. Oh, gosh. He's getting another hissing cockroach. What makes him not hiss? Oh, they're comfortable. They're not worried about it. It's not... So they hiss when they're a little freaked out. Ah! I feel bad. Like, we're hurting it. Not hurting it at all. Just giving a little rub on the back, and he's like, hey, stop it. I was sleeping. Oh, okay, okay. And he might... Maybe he's letting you know, like, hey. I can mess with you with this hits. Oh, here's something that'll freak Woods out even further. Should you get scared of one of these guys and accidentally, oh, I don't know, chop its head off, they can live for quite a long time without their head. Holy cow. These are like the size of a little ketchup packet. I had a cockroach problem in an apartment I lived in in Dallas, and it was petrifying. We did a bomb, like a bug bomb in that thing. 300 of them came out. And they were flying. Those roaches are... I'm a little skeeved. Pretty much all you did probably was make them mad. There were so many tests done on so many different animals when they were first coming up with nuclear energy and nuclear power. And one of the things they did is they would radiate different animals. And cockroaches can withstand much more radiation than any other animal on this planet. So a simple bug bomb, you might hurt a couple of them. This may be a silly question you may not even know the answer to, but how come they can live without a head?
Well, I do know the answer to that, actually. Thank you for asking. Their body, the way it's designed, he's looking right at you. That one antenna is just like, I want to touch you. Woods is so freaked out. And Lauren is literally hiding behind Woods. You don't have to worry unless they take flight. Does that have wings? They can't fly, I'm kidding. Some of them can. Some cockroaches can, yes, but this particular species, no. But they can live without their head because their body has a series of neuron clusters or clusters of nerves throughout the body. which essentially act like miniature little brains. Wow. So without the head, although they can't eat and can't drink, there's plenty of fat preserves, and the body still reacts to all the stimulus that it would if it was touched or walking along and bumps into something. Now, of course, it does die over time. Because it doesn't eat. It dehydrates, right, exactly. Doesn't eat and doesn't drink. But what's important about that, why that's a necessity for the species, is if the female has already been impregnated and about to have an egg sac come out, well, she's going to live for quite a few more days. After her head comes off, she can go ahead and deliver that last cluster of several hundred babies. Holy. Cow. Pretty freaking gross. That just grossed Woods out to no end. Imagine a headless one running coming towards you. Let's go to another animal. Headless cockroach. One thing that's really important, too, is your reactions here are...
Not unique. People have these reactions all the time to bugs and insects. And one of the things we're doing at the Safari Park every weekend through November 14th is our creepy crawly adventures. So although you're all kind of creeped out and grossed, but you also learned something. You had some fun. I like learning about it. And you kind of got some curiosity solved. You asked some good questions. That's exactly what's going on. Bug keepers, bug show, an opportunity to release some ladybugs, which are much friendlier. Yeah, I love ladybugs. See? They're pretty. Opportunity to feed some birds, like we were talking about how bird species survive off them. Hug a bug. Hug a bug? Hug a bug. So every weekend at the Safari Park, Park. We got that going on through November 14th, which is pretty cool. What else do you have? I need to get a glove on for this one. Oh, rad. Porcupine? I need a leather hood. Kick arse. He's putting on like a gardener's glove. Yep. It's getting hot in here. Oh, wow. He's got like, it looks like what you keep a cat in when you take it to the vet. Oh, gosh. Woods and Lauren are both twitching. Take a picture of them. Take a picture of them. They're like little kids. Woods has his arm around. Oh. Peregrine Falcon. It's adorable. Pretty bird.
Oh my gosh, is it okay? Is it scared? No, not at all. She's actually just saying good morning to everybody. Oh, that's rad. Oh, I say good morning too. It's a bird that I would say is about the size of a dove, not much bigger than a big... No, smaller than a dove. Smaller than a dove. She's only 70 grams. Well, 72 grams. She's got a big, furry, gray head and a white body, gray wings and a brown back. And she's a mic hog. What is she? This is the world's smallest. Bird of prey. We think of bird of prey, we think of eagles, hawks, owls, these huge menacing birds, beautiful in flight perhaps. Velociraptors. But look at her attitude. Her attitude is all bird of prey. She is the smallest species. This is called a pygmy falcon. She's biting your glove. She is. Very feisty. Very feisty. And that's what's great about this species is they're so tiny. I mean, literally, 72 grams. but they have all the attitude of the big golden eagle or bald eagle, I swear. Can I ask you a question? Sure, please do. If you didn't have that glove on, would she draw blood? Oh, yeah, definitely. It's a bird of prey with a very sharp beak and a very good bite. Now, this animal is one of the animals that we were kind of talking about earlier that would really survive a lot off of bugs. These are very artful flyers. She's a small falcon, and she can catch a lot of different bug species on the wings, sort of the original in-flight meal, if you will. Is that what you feed her?
Back at the zoo, she gets several different bugs to choose from and also a little bit of a mouse. And gypsies. Oh, my God. She's beautiful. This is what's really cool. I want one. One really cool story about the opportunity. I would love to watch her rip up a mouse. Do you get to see that back at work? Oh, yeah. It's just like anybody eating breakfast. I mean, dude, I've always found animal shows fascinating when they're eating because it's just fascinating to me. Well, we don't feed out a live mouse, so I don't. It's not like you get the whole lion tackling. Well, I don't need that part. I don't necessarily need that part. I just need to see. I like to see how they actually do their work. Systematically. At Jasper School, a hawk. With any bird of prey. Oh, go ahead. Oh, no. At Jasper School, a hawk flew in and grabbed a squirrel, took it up in the tree just 20 feet up off the ground, and ripped the squirrel to shreds. Poor squirrel. All the kids, there's 100 or 200 kids out there standing there going, and just dropping all the parts it didn't want, just bones ripping and snapping. Oh, man. They've got to eat, you guys. I know, I know. They've got to eat. I eat steak, but I don't want to see how they get it into that little cellophane. Me either. I don't want to see that, but I do want to see a lion tackle it.
and see what the lion does to it. Where do you find these birds? These guys are found throughout South and a little bit into Central Africa. And they are so small. What's really cool, I had the opportunity to go to Botswana there in Africa, and a gentleman that has lived there his entire life was telling me that he hears them quite a bit, but he's never seen one. You've hypnotized Lauren. I know. She's completely hypnotized. I love that, too. It wasn't me as a bird. But essentially what's really cool is the opportunities that I have working at the zoo is... Here's a guy who lives in their native habitat. He's never seen one. So when he finally did come to the zoo, I was able to show him Jambo here up close and personal. And so he was thrilled. It was so cool to see this guy walks amongst elephants and all these other animals all over his backyard. But this bird, he was just beside himself. And this was really cool. And again, another thing we've got going on at the zoo, not at the park. Starting November 11th, we have our Festival of Flight. So opportunities like this, where you guys can get up close and personal, talk to bird keepers, talk to our trainers, talk to our vet staff, get to see these animals up close. There will be some bird feedings, although no tearing of flesh or anything like that. But a lot of great opportunities, behind-the-scenes tours. Oh, I want behind-the-scenes, you know, getting the mouse. You might get it there. You might see it there. Okay, so we only have a couple more minutes, so let's move on. This is the one that needs two gloves.
Bye, Jumbo. Perfect. The next one needs two gloves. She's my fave. She is beautiful. I want one so bad. Oh, I want a falcon. Why can't I have one? It kept saying the same thing. I mean, I don't know what it was saying, but it kept going. I wonder what that means. It's like, get me out of here. Get me out of here. Get me out of here. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Oh boy, that's a big bin. This is a big container. This is a big yellow plastic rubber made 27 gallon. Container. I'd never heard of this animal. You hadn't? Oh, boy. I don't know what's coming out of that thing. Can they breathe? Please don't be what I think it is. That's heavy, whatever it is, I think. Oh, gosh. Is it? It might be over there. Yeah. Oh, Woods just jumped. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Is that an armadillo? I like it. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It's not a snake, Woods. Settle down. What is his name? I've got one in my trousers. This is Baba, and he's a pangolin, and this is a really special treat for you.
you guys because there are no other pangolins in the United States other than the two at the San Diego Zoo. Pangolin? Oh my gosh. Pangolin. So P-A-N-G-O-L-I-N. This is a white-bellied pangolin. They're found in Africa. It looks nice. Where are they found? In Cameroon? Cameroon, parts of Africa. What kind of terrain? Mostly trees, but they will get down on the ground. But these guys have a prehensile tail, so check this out. Actually, well, he won't let go, but... You can see the private parts. Oh, yeah, that's a boy, I think, isn't it? Oh. A little guy. Yeah. He might be a little guy, but you're scared of him. I'm scared to death of him. He looks like an armadillo. Can you best explain this to your... I like you. Okay, I'm going to be just as honest as I can. Imagine snake scales really large. It looks like big snake scales, but the animal itself looks kind of like an armadillo. Is that right? Very good description. Another description might be take it a little bit further than snake skin.
And they're more like a bunch of Lee press on nails. Yeah. That's really what it looks like and feels like. It's a true scale. Its tail looks like a snake. Yes, it does. And that's believed by some scientists that might help prevent predators from going after them. Because a tail would move somewhat snake-like. Yeah. But they are insectivores. So these big claws up front are for tearing open trees and termite mounds. And they've got a nice long tongue. Now the tongue can be up to... Pretty easily. Jay keeps putting his fingers right up to this thing's mouth. And you know why I'm letting him? Why? Because this is one of the few animals that does not bite. Oh, he won't bite. His mouth is so small, it's just big enough to let the tongue go through. Oh, see, now they're all wanting to pet him. Oh, he's not going to bite. Now they all want to pet him. He has love claws, that's why. He can't be all jumpy and freaky because that's going to freak him out. He's just chilling, so you've got to chill too. Hi, he has hair underneath him. Right, he is a mammal. Does it feel like? It's hard. He wants to get on the microphone. The back I'm not scared of. He is so funny looking. I like it. Feels really cool. So fossil records do show a lot of scientists that scales came before fur. Scales are made of keratin and grow similarly out of a follicle like hair does. He didn't like that, L.O.B. He didn't like that, L.O.B. So essentially, this is covered in fur, but they're scales. Did he just try to kill L.O.B.? No, there were no laser beams. I went underneath his chin and gave a little scratchy poo.
Scratched you. Well, he probably thought you were going to try and feed him. So he thought, hey, I'm going to grab that and eat. He's giving me some love. Does he want to rip off L.O.B.'s head? No. Absolutely not. And climb it like a tree? It didn't hurt. He wants to get down and climb over this desk. It didn't hurt. This is a cool animal. Your mic's coming out right here like this. It looks like a big tree for him to climb. He's eyeballing that right now. He's got big eyeballs. Oh, my God. Yeah, they are nocturnal, and their eyesight, though, is somewhat poor. But a lot of times when you see eyes that kind of bug out of the head like that, it's to bring in as much light as possible. You can think of them more as light receptors than actual eyes like you and I have that focus very well. Listen, wait until people see these pictures we're taking. We're going to post them on our Facebook site and on MikeyShow.com. Thank you. Did you have any more? No, you know, I really appreciate you guys having us. And if anybody else wants more information, just go to our website, sandygozoo.org. And any of your listeners are Twitterers. We have our Twitter thing going, too. So a lot of different fun giveaways and Twitter meetups. Yeah, what's your Twitter thing? It's sandygozoo.
There you go. Just go check that out and follow that. A lot of cool stuff. And you can follow the Mikey Show on Twitter. We rarely say it and we should say it more. We're on Mikey Show Mikey, Mikey Show Lauren, Mikey Show Sienna, Mikey Show Woods, Mikey Show Jay. Just put Mikey Show followed by our name and you will find us. And it's M-I-K-E-Y. Unbelievable. Well, thanks for coming, guys. Oh, wow. Woods is just trying to get rid of him as quickly as he can. They're adorable. He's great. Oh, my gosh. We're going to do Movie Plot Hot Potato if you want to play. Call us right now, 570-1949. If you want to play Movie Plot Hot Potato, we'll have something for you. And what's worse for teenagers than watching TV? They have something that may be worse. We'll tell you next. Let's do some Movie Plot Hot Potato. Great, great band. Cutlass is going to be playing.
Friday, November 12th, and all the money's going to the organization that I'm going to Haiti with, Outside the Bowl. Go to OutsideTheBowl.org and get tickets. Love it. All right, movie plot hot potato. Let's see. You got to pick either Woods or Jay. Mikey Show, this is M1 Mike from Marietta. Are you there? I'm here. Who do you want, Woods or Jay? Give me the kid. You got it. Lose. And M1George from San Diego. How's it going, Mikey? Pretty good. George, you are going to be assigned to Jay. Perfect. Assigned. Really? Thanks, Mikey. Hang on the line. Well, I could have let him pick, but he only had one choice, buddy. Mike has got Woodsy. All right. The way that movie plot Hot Potato works is they got 60 seconds, correct? 60 seconds. 60 seconds. And in those 60 seconds, they are going to describe, each of them back and forth, movie plots. They are serious. Yep. Whoever is left holding the potato after 60 seconds is the loser. You do not want that thing in your hands. Because you take a BB. Yeah, and as soon as I get the movie, they get to get rid of it. Here we go. It's a scary movie. Jason, he comes after and tries to kill you. Friday the 13th. Carrie, Miranda.
Sex and the City. A Married Man Has an Affair. It's a one-night deal, and She Boils as Rabbit. Fatal Attraction. Thank you. Tom Cruise is a fighter pilot. Top Gun. Demi Moore stars in this with Patrick Swayze. Ghost. Wow. We did that last week. Julia Roberts is a hooker. The Pretty Woman. Yeah. Kevin Costner, the big cornfield. Dancers of the Wolves. No, an Iowa farmer hearing voices. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Field of Dreams. Yeah, we did that. Sasha Baron Cohen is from Kazakhstan. Bruno, no. The other one. The other one. Yeah. Hello, my name. Borat. Prince stars in this. He even writes a song about it. Purple Rain. Yes. George Clooney has to fire people. Oh, yeah, up in the air. Yes! Yes! Wow. You got robbed. He tossed it right into Jay's hand right when that happened. I should have just dropped it. You used two that I used last week. I don't listen to you whenever you're talking. Oh, you don't? No, I don't. M1 Mike from Marietta. That's my boy. Got a kid. Dude, the kid won for you, man. Hang on a line. Hang on a line. Now we're getting Miss Daisy. Miss Daisy is a BB gun. She's a friend of the show. She's a friend of the show. Woods gets to shoot. Woods gets to shoot.
Jay in the behind. He's taking aim. Woods, you do that every time. He does not shoot the butt. He shoots right below the cheek. Woods, Woods. I am so... I don't think he means to. Let me tell you something. I said he's a terrible shot. Sienna, I pity. When Jay gets that gun back. Because he hasn't had that gun for a couple of weeks. When he gets that gun back and he's firing at Woods. He can hit me behind the knee. And Jay's had that gun since he's been like seven. He knows how to aim that thing. He knows right where it goes. I don't know. I just shoot. I aim from the middle and I always miss. Maybe right between the shoulder blades next time Woods. That had to hurt. Miss Daisy. That had to hurt real good. Tomorrow, don't forget, we already announced the winners of the Who to Manicure. Ryder Kelly. Ryder Kelly or Kelly Ryder. Ryder Kelly. Yeah, and Adam Lester. So we are going to be going. Did you get a male masseuse or a woman masseuse? A woman. You did? Yes. Good. Veronica, I believe, is her name. I do not know mine. Codename Ronnie. I will not ever have a man again. You got one.
I didn't. His name is Bryce. You know that I won't do it. Yes, you know I won't. Well, then you have to. Yeah, well, you know I won't. His name is Bryce. I hope that you clowns weren't like, let's play a funny joke on mic. You never know what the kid may do. Oh, guys. You never know. Hi, am I on the air? Yes, you are. You know you are. I don't know if I'm on the air. That's why I asked. This is Sandra Rossi, by the way. Hi, Sandra. Sandra Rossi, handbags.com. Two N's. Two N's. Self-plug. If you'd like to check out my website, you can check it out right now. It's Sandra Rossi.com. Two N's. Sandra Rossi handbags.com. Sandra Rossi handbags. Thank you so much. Why are we helping her plug? Did you get any more? inventory? Because as of the last time, everything was sold out. No, we should have brand new inventory. You should. Since you're asking. I am asking. Since you're asking. I'm not running for governor anymore. You're not? Really? No. What happened? They haven't even voted yet. Yeah, I know. If you want, you can write me in. What are you calling in for? Well, I think what's important, and I think values-wise, that's all I want to do is get the message out.
Handbags is the message. That's not a very powerful message. Well, it isn't a governor message anymore. It's not about that. It's all about the handbags? Yes, it's about the handbags. Maybe you bring some in to Lorne and I. I'd like to have one. Listen, I'm going to run for governor as a write-in. And I've got a new jingle, and I want you to hear it. Good. Roll it, Mike. I'm Sandra Rossi, and I approved this message. You made that message. On your garage band. I didn't make it on my garage band. I made it, and I think that it's wonderful. I think that it's going to get me elected. Roll it again, Mike. Thank you.
I'm Sandra Rossi, and I approve this freaking message. You don't have to say that every time. If you don't vote for me, you can stuff it, all right? Wow. All right, I'm going to tell you right now that I think that Meg Whitman is everything Jerry Brown said. What about Jerry Brown? Jerry Brown is D-O-U-C-H-E. And they can both shove it and stuff it. One more time, Mike. Thank you. I'm in you walking down a staircase in a glittery dress. In like a designer, like the Designing Women show? Yeah. Or like Family Ties? I just got my fourth facelift. Wow. Ouch. And let me tell you something. If I walked down that staircase with my gloves on, my smile would be so tight. You're a creep. I didn't even do anything. I didn't say a word. You're a filthy creep. He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. Do you look like a cat?
I look like a cat, and when I sit down, I smile. Ha! I don't get it. I don't either. You don't? No. Picture that. Like, you're not smiling, but then you sit down, and it makes... Oh, I see. Your skin is so taut... Taut. ...that it pulls it back. Lovely. What do you guys believe in? What? What do you believe in? Copenhagen? It's a loaded question. Copenhagen? Yeah, snuff. Snuff. Me too. What about you? I love you. What do you believe in? Black guys, right? Yes, I do believe in that. Okay, you know what? I'm pro-black guys. I believe in Santa. I like donuts. Bras. Bras. Pro donuts, pro box. With support. With support. I like all that stuff. What if I were to guarantee a black guy in a bra for everybody that votes for me that's stiff and snuff? What would you guys think of that? I'd be all the way on board. Could you bring Santa to one of your events? Yes, but if I were to bring it to one of your events... he would have to be black. Roll it again, Mike. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the time. You're wonderful people. Thanks, Sandra. I'm surprised she didn't put a little plug for her handbags in her little spiel there. It's a real website.
That jingle is catchy. That is, man. It's like gonorrhea in my ears. Lovely. It's really, really beautiful. Syphilis in my ears. Crabs, maybe. Okay, got it. Teenagers are more likely to be affected by texting and Facebook than TV now. Great. When we were growing up, it was like, don't watch so much TV. Well, now there's like cyber bullying and stuff like that going on. Oh, is that what they're saying? That that's the issue? That it's more dangerous than TV because of the bullying? It's really not that much more. They're just using it as a comparison because now that there is cyber bullying, whereas TV, you know, you're staring at a screen as well, but there's no conflict going back and forth. But also they're saying that TV may make your school performance worse. Yes. Really? What's it like to have a news person that reads the news stories before they report on them? Is that pretty good? Dude, it's fabulous, man. I really like it a lot. There's a lot less tension in the studio. Jamie and I were talking about it last night. She goes, yeah, dear, I know you didn't read the stories. It's nice to have Sienna back because she actually reads them. I can actually learn something. Yeah. I try. It's pretty awesome. It is, man. Tell us about this Best Toothpaste. It's various.
Yeah, there's different categories of the best, and one would be the best foam. I don't like foam. Foam is bad. I don't like it. Really? Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like my toothpaste. It's bad for the environment. Well, I need... No, it dries out your mouth. I need some, don't you? No. You need a little bit, but not from like, what is it, the laurel sulfates or something like that? That's a bad foam. Yes. No, they say that it penetrates deep between your teeth if it's more foam. Did you and your teeth really once? Yeah. Aquafresh Isoactive Whitening Fresh Impact is the name of that toothpaste. Mouthful. Best Innovation. In toothpaste? Yeah. Arm & Hammer Whitening Booster Plus with Enamel Strengthening. Fundamentally. Fundamentally can't use it. Why? Because it's got baking soda in it. Yeah, because it's called Arm & Hammer. I love Arm & Hammer. Yeah, I do too when I put it in the litter box. Oh, you do have a cat. My dentist just told me to get baking soda in just a box and dip your toothpaste. I've done that, dude. Yeah, it's hardcore. I can't do it. It's filthy. It's not filthy. I've done it before. It's actually really clean. It's filthy, though, to your mouth. It tastes gross. Helps with your gums.
Maybe I do. Ella Bee's got super white teeth. Not really. Yeah, you do. You use that stuff, right? No, I used it for a couple days and it started to eat away at my gums. The whitener? Yeah. The whitening strips. The whitening strips. They are lethal. I threw them all out. She has tan skin and white teeth and I have white skin and tan teeth. That's pretty gross. It's true. Here's a category that we all care about. Best overall toothpaste. Crest. No. Colgate. Yes. Mentadent. Colgate Total Enamel Strength, the gel paste hybrid, keeps your mouth feeling clean and fights germs for 12 hours. Plus, it protects enamel from acids found in foods and drinks. I think it's all a bit, by the way. Toothpaste. $3.50. I think it's all a bit. No way. I think if you went back to the old school Crest that you used when you were a kid or the Aquafresh.
that you'd be just as fine than with this newfangled hybrids. Hybrids. Hybrid of toothpaste. But people would have bad breath and yellower teeth. No, they wouldn't. No. Sure they would. Absolutely. Why would they have bad breath? Because all adults when I was a kid had bad breath. Maybe because they didn't brush their teeth. You know what? I don't buy toothpaste based on what I see that's in them. Packaging. Marketing. Packaging. No, no, no, no. Oh, me. When I read words, I wonder if I've ever admitted this. I won't buy toothpaste if I think it doesn't taste good. I'm with you. Yeah. I got some bad toothpaste, too. I'll see words and I'll be like, that don't sound good. Like the Arm and Hammer one? No, thank you. Yeah. Right. And even the Uncle Tom's? It's not Uncle, it's just Tom's, but yeah, the Tom's. Why do I always want to say that? I don't know. I don't know either. You know, and the whitening products don't taste good. No, they do not. Well, there's the best whitening toothpaste, too, and it's the Luster White 7 toothpaste. I've never even heard of it. Never seen it. I got some orange-flavored toothpaste. Yeah, I don't like that. And it's aqua fresh, and it is filthy. I don't like it. I got it by accident. It's filthy. It's the orange and white, and you're like, oh, and then you put it in, you're like...
You ever buy something and try it and you feel bad throwing it out? Yeah, I've used it. What do you do with that product? I have a product that I tried once. I don't want to use it again. I was going to give it to Woods. What is it? It's body soap. I don't want your body soap. No, it's not a bar of soap. It's gel. Yeah, you take it back to the store. They'll take it back. I didn't buy it at the store. If it doesn't do it, throw it away. Oh, you didn't buy it at the store? No. Do you have sensitive teeth, anyone? Yes. Best for sensitive teeth is the Crest Pro Health Sensitive Shield. I see the words pro health and I'm like, probably doesn't taste good. I do. I won't buy it because I'm like, it probably don't taste good. It's healthy. Enchilada flavored toothpaste, Mikey. I buy the toothpaste. I buy the toothpaste that doesn't come in the tube because I don't like the tube. It comes in like, it stands on its own. You like the pump? No, it's not a pump. It stands up. Yeah. It's crest whitening. I don't like those. And you squeeze it though. Yeah. I don't like the tube and I still get it because I don't want the other one. And the tube, when I open up the top, has fungus all underneath it. Oh, nice. Because I leave it in the shower. You just flip up the cap. You brush in the shower? Yes. Yeah, me too. What? Leave.
Put it on and bring it in there with you. That's what I do. Yeah. Do you guys brush in the shower? Sometimes? Yes. It feels delicious. You don't? No. I brush in front of the mirror so I can look at what I'm doing. I got a mirror in there. I got a fogless mirror. The dentist told me. I just went to the dentist last week and she's like, always brush in front of the mirror because you can miss little plaque thingies. Also, I got a mirror in there. In the shower, I imagine toothpaste getting in areas where toothpaste shouldn't go. Yeah, don't you get a little burn? I like it. Just aim your spit. No, I don't get a little burn. A very little burn? No, I don't get a very little burn. But still, I'd be real scared. I like the tubes because I'm cheap. I can get the last bit out of all of them. Kim's got me now. She's got me cutting the tube in half. And now we put our tooth...
brush inside and get the rest of it out. Cheapest human being. Jay grows potatoes in the leftover tube. I hate the struggle. Once I have to struggle to squeeze it out, it's garbage. Oh, I love the struggle. As soon as the struggle starts, we just cut it in half. There's so much inside. You'll be blown away about how much toothpaste is in there. I like to outsmart the tube. Oh, yeah. I saw Jay in the parking lot siphoning gas from somebody's car earlier. We have a little thing that you put on the end of the tube, and it squeezes it, and you just keep moving it forward. That's great. Takes all the air out and squeezes it real good. I'm going to start doing the cut tactic. That's a good move. Solid. Listen up, everybody. His favorite song. Is this the only Taylor Swift song you like? Yes. So far every morning this week, he's come in and immediately turned that on. And I'm trying to read news and he's like singing along to Taylor Swift. Yep. I can't listen to it because it creeps me out that she's talking about John Mayer. Me too. Maybe your masseuse will put this on. That would be delightful. Nice little pedicure music too.
I don't remember if you did this on the air or off yesterday, but he was having a serious conversation with us where he was like, he was dead serious and he goes, you can hear like, and he puts his hand up. Yeah, he puts his hand up to his neck and he goes, you can hear the angst and you can hear the pain. You can hear the heartbreak. And the heart, Mike, you can, and I'm looking at him like, I was looking at him like I was looking at that creature they brought in here. Listen, listen. Angst, ready? She hits the chorus. Angst, dot, dot, dot, ready? Ready? Listen to that. You are a clown. That's the same tone when she said, I wear t-shirts. No, I'm telling you. I wear t-shirts. What happens inside you when you listen to it? Something moves. What? What is it? What does it make you feel? Heartbreak. It makes you sad for her? I put myself in her shoes. This is what I want. This is okay. This is it. Hold on. Give it a little taste here. Ready? Angst. You had a guy named John that did you wrong? No, don't you dare. Don't you make him withdraw. Yes. I was about to get it out of him, L.O.B. Don't you shame him. He's just singing over there with his eyes closed. Woods.
Let this out. Don't you think she was too young to be messed with? No. The girl in the dress cried the whole way home. Do you put yourself in her? Yes. You imagine that you're her? Yes. You are all woman. And as the different lyrics play, do you imagine in your mind what that must have felt like as a young woman? I picture it as a young woman. Put your hands up like this. Don't look at Sienna. Don't look at L.O.B. It's a film in my head. What's happening right now? She's sitting in her apartment. She's sitting in her apartment, and she's looking out the window of L.A. morning, and it just started to rain. And she's thinking about that creep laying in bed with another girl. You know what? You know what Woods likes about this song? What? He wishes that he could have made her sing this about him. Yes. Exactly. He wishes he could have been the creep that broke her heart. No doubt. Ew. I think that's it. You're a creep. You are a creep. You are the biggest, weirdest creep I've ever. Dear Woods. That's creepy. Lauren. I think she nailed it. A thousand percent. That is correct. Don't you want a girl to write a song like that about you? Yeah.
Oh, I've told you, I listen to the song, my wife, please, babe, I love you. I love you. Don't get upset. I can't live without you. This is just weird. This is the way guys, guys are weird. We're just weird. I know you two guys are weird. You guys are perfect. Yeah, you guys just sitting over there in Perfect Town? No, far from it. I'm actually banned from there. You're banned from Perfect Town? Yeah. They won't even let you back in? Hanging in the post office. I would listen. Let's all just be free here. Let's just be free. Is this a trust tree? Sienna Farrar. Sienna Farrar. I used to imagine that Vanessa Carlton was singing this song about me. Like she wrote it about me. About me. You're gay? Yes. I understand. I understand. But it's the opposite of gay because it's straight. I'm imagining that she is so in love with me. Are you kidding? Holy cow. I've done it. I mean, I did that as a 12-year-old girl. Oh, I did it. I've done it as a 34-year-old man. You ever hear Fade Into You by Mazzy Starr? Yeah. Yeah. I pictured she and I on a rainy morning, her playing that to me on the guitar. Oh, my gosh. We're so weird, dude. We're so weird. We're so weird. We're so weird.
Listen, this is like, yeah, she wrote this in a hotel, you know, touring. She's in Europe. Yeah. Isn't she like 12? No. No. She came out as a lesbian. She is? Yeah. She's curious. Bye. She's not curious. Broke. It was me. I did it. You did it. I'm the one that did it. Forge the one that did it. Forge the one that did it. Forge the one. Yeah, you know you in trouble. Welcome back to Mikey's show. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, Sacha Baron Cohen, we know him as Bruno or Borat, is now being sued again during a Bruno incident. Apparently his cameraman is claiming his civil rights were violated because the film crew shooting Bruno.
roughed him up at a gay marriage rally. Really? Yeah, he says that he had physical and emotional pain and suffering and wants $25,000 in damages. Also, Miley Cyrus' parents, Billy Ray Cyrus and his wife Tish, have filed for divorce yesterday. They opened up about it yesterday and said, you know, as you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family. So really sad. They were married for 17 years. Wow. Don't like hearing about that. Woods, what's going on in sports? Game two tonight of the World Series. Matt Cain will be taking on... DJ Wilson, the lefty from the Texas Rangers. The Giants have a 1-0 lead in the series. And then, you know, I mean, I'm kind of self-serving, but it looks like the Yankees are going to lock up Joe Girardi for a three-year deal to remain the skipper of the New York Yankees. Oh, wow. Do you like that or do you not like that? The guy won a series. I mean, you've got to give him a couple more. He didn't do the best job last year. Because you were mad at him. I mean, I was just mad. I was mad in general. So it wasn't necessarily a Joe Girardi. No, I was just mad. They're old and overpaid. Yeah. You know. He won a series. How do you fire a guy that wins you a World Series, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I said. Yeah. 570-1949. You did say that a bunch. I did. I know. I did. Let's see. I got some great. This is great. Fashion trends of the 90s.
Fashion trends of the 90s. They're all awful, by the way. Some I may actually remember. They're all awful? Because we, the 90s was like my, that was like when I probably closed the most biz, man. The 90s were the worst fashion. Really? They were the worst. I hope they never come back. Worse than the 80s? It was like the grunge rock, wasn't it? And it was like pegged pants. No, that was like the 80s. No, that was the 90s. Tight rolled? Yes. Was it 80s? No, I was in middle school. Scrunchies. Holy cow. Scrunchies. Let's hear them. And then like diamond checkered shirts. Denim overalls. Oh, horrible. I used to wear overalls all the time. Me too, with one strap down. Oh yeah, or with like a little tube top underneath. Oh my God, what? I thought it was really cool. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Wait, hang on a minute. I do think it was sexy when girls would wear a tank top with overalls over it. Yeah, but not anymore. And if the tank top was short. Yeah. And you could see. And you could see the skin. There was like a separation. Oh, yeah. It was the sexiest thing in the world. I wish that would come back. No way. I did that. Like tank ass. I felt really cool. Tank ass. Yeah. Flannel shirts. All the way in, dude. They're back. Nirvana. Yeah. Better. Come on. Except now they're like cleaner looking. It was dirty then. Hammer pants. The worst.
I had him. Of course you did. Are you wearing him right now? Or am I wearing him right now? He's got DJs on, you know. Of course he does. Let's see. How about high-waisted jeans? Oh, gosh. Obama wears those. Yeah, he's trying to look like Brenda from 90210. Girls wear them again now. I know, and I'm out on them. No, they do not. Remember Jessica Simpson had them? Oh, she did. Disgusting. What about combat boots? Out. Coming back. They were in? Yeah, oh, big time. Combat boots are coming back? The girls are wearing them with leggings. Chris Cornell from Soundgarden used to wear army shorts with combat boots. I thought it looked... freaking rat when I was younger. No shirt, just wailing. Fanny packs. I think they'll come back. Did young people ever wear fanny packs? I saw a picture of me not too long ago and I had a fanny pack with my name on it. In gold. Embroidered. I kind of still have one, but it's... Sorry, you can go back on that thought. You have one? It's like a money...
clip that you wear when you're traveling. Oh, that's not a fanny pack. That goes under your clothes. Yeah, but it goes around. You clip it like a fanny pack. Yeah, but it's under your clothes and it's so you don't get pickpocketed. Yeah, it's a zipper and it sticks out as the fanny pack. Yeah, I know that. That's like a purse on your waist. It's not a true fanny pack. You had a fanny pack? I did. It was like multicolored red, blue, green. What did you carry in it? I'll bring a picture. What did you put in it? I have it. I put all my jewelry in it. I don't know. I mean, I was probably six. I'll have a picture. I'm sitting on my dad's lap with a fanny pack and my name. That was like four years ago, by the way, when she was six. Fanny packs now are, I don't care. That's what a fanny pack says. I don't care. Yeah, I've given up. I don't care. You can think whatever you want. I could care less what you think. I'm wearing my fanny pack. NFL quarterbacks wear fanny packs. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. L.O.B. Maybe L.O.B. doesn't know what a fanny pack is. She's like, yeah, they put money in it. It's not a fanny pack. It's not like a fanny pack. It's a hand warmer.
No, the thing that they put on the side. It's a hand warmer. Isn't that what they use to clean their hands or make sure they're dry? No. You guys, it's a hand warmer when it's cold. That's what they did. Yeah, it is. Around their waist? Yeah, can they move it back? But it turns it in the back and the towel hangs off of it. No, L.O.B. thought that that's what they put their change in. No, I thought that they kept plays in there or something. No. God love you though. God love you. Plays are little bunnies. They open it up and they're like, I like this. Does anybody want to research while we're in the hotel? They keep it on their arm, the plays. I may try and bring the fanny back. Please don't. Because there's some stylish ones out there, like designer fannies. No, no, no, no. I'll wear a fanny for a week. Please don't. In public. Please don't. Not around us. And then, and then, not because of me, but people will be like, oh, fanny. They're kind of cool and convenient. You'll see people wearing them. No. Carry a backpack. Yes, it will happen. I'm telling you that if Scarlett Johansson, there's no way. Mike, remember what you said when I wore moccasins? What everyone said? Do you notice what's on all the websites now? Men's, too. Moccasins. Birkenstocks. Fanny pack. I love a fanny pack. Thank you. Gangsta bandanas. Oh, yeah. Bret Michaels. Yeah.
Pocket chains. Mikey. Mikey. Just got rid of that. Just got rid of it. Thank goodness. I bet your wife is stoked. Starter jackets. So lame. Had one. Had two. Had four. Had Notre Dame and the Yankees. The puffy, like, Notre Dame, like, satin. Oh, no, that's not what I thought. That's what I had. I thought those were called, like, bomber jackets. No, no, these are satin. Almost. And they're kind of puffy. Oh, like an all-star jacket. Yeah. Head-to-toe camo. It. Uh-oh. M1 Tony is upset. About what, Tony? You guys are killing me. What's the big deal with a male giving you a massage? You guys are getting mampered tomorrow. We are. I just don't understand the paranoia. Are you a masseuse? I am. I am. I'm certified. I'm professional. We take pride in what we do, and you're just ripping us. Listen, no, no, no, no. Let me be very clear. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. I just want to be real clear that guy masseuses have a place in this world. For girls. For girls, I think. For a guy, I think it's uncomfortable to have a guy rubbing you down. Have you had one from a guy before? My first ever massage.
My first ever massage was from, and you never forget your first, was from a big, tall, red-headed guy with red eyelashes. You know, and... Well, besides everything, I'll tell you. I'll tell you what was awkward was when I was, you know, sitting out there in the lobby, obese, in a white... That wasn't the masseuse's fault. No, that wasn't his fault. That wasn't his fault. But it started on a poor note. It's always so awkward on your first. Absolutely. Oh, great. My first is tomorrow. I was sitting there, since you're asking, Tony, and I heard, Mike? Mike? And I stood up, and I saw this dude, big, tall, red-headed guy, and he had his hands behind his back, and he's standing there, and I walked up to him, and I saw it in his face. His face said to me,
You're gay. He was, I think he thought, you're here by yourself. You're not here with anyone. You've requested a man. This is not a full release parlor. Mikey, you're thinking way too much into this. Yeah, I think he is. You really, really are. Look, we all go through school. We get certified. We love what we do. I bet. And we don't judge. That's the one thing I'll tell you right now. We're very professional. We don't judge. It's so easy to say, I don't judge. What if they have bacne? It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy. If they got bacne, it's gross. But masseuses judge. That's what I'm saying. You judge, Tony. Tony, you judge. It goes in your mind, and you're like, oh, man. Tony, if some... If some chubby guy lays down and he's got like rolls of fat on his back and he's got back hair and acne, don't you look up for a second and go, why me? Why the hell did I do this? Why didn't I go be an accountant or something? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And you have to massage the feet too. What if there's like long toenails? And the athlete's foot. I will say, unkept feet or...
People who have stinky feet, that gets a little much. But you know what? We suck it up and we just do it. We make it happen. Hey, Tony. Tony. You guys should come back. Tony, we had a dude call us yesterday that said that he was a masseuse. He said it's very, it was a guy masseuse. He said it's very rare that a guy will request a guy masseuse. It's just rare. It is, but it happens. And you don't know, maybe they had an amazing massage from another guy. I have a ton of returning clients who keep coming back to me that I had the first time. And, you know, they swear they'll never have a girl do it. Yeah, I don't care one way or the other. Those are gay men. Those are gay men that come back to you. I'm not gay and that doesn't bother me. Doesn't it? Not at all. Aren't you? You wish. He says that Jay says he likes it because they have stronger hands. It's true. They do. Generally. Oh, gross. Come on, Tony. I don't think of it that way. I'm not there for his sexual experience, Mikey and Woods. Why are you worried if it's a guy or a girl? Exactly. I'm not. I'm all in. He's not. I am. Woods is. I am. When that tall redhead sunk his big Abe Vigoda hot dog-sized fingers into my calf, my butt clenched up.
I didn't relax for 60 minutes. It was the most unrelaxing experience. And then he would start rubbing the back of my leg. It was so with oil. You needed a massage after your massage. What about when the doctor uses the stethoscope and stuff like that? I'm fine with that. You feel like you're being a creep then? If the doctor put oil on me in a room with candles, L.O.B., I'd get a little freaked. I would too if my doctor did, but you know you're coming in to get a massage. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Come in and see me, Mikey. I'll change your mind. Oh, boy. That just creeped me out. 100%. My skin just crawled. Yeah, my skin just ran out of the room. Hey, Mikey, come see me. Come on in any time. I'll change your mind. I'll change your mind. How about Tony gives me and Sienna the, he'll give us first the trial run, and then we'll let you know. Love it. All I want is a massage, and I'm not included, and neither is Lauren. You guys come in here. I'll take care of you. But what did we say? You guys get to have babies, and we don't. Yeah, we don't get that experience. We don't get that experience. We don't get that. Oh, yeah. It's real pleasant. Thank you, Tony. You guys get periods. We don't get periods. Yeah, we don't get to have periods. I don't get to go through PMS. I mean, come on. You don't hear us complaining. Your love for chocolate. You would faint if you had one day. One day. We don't get cramps. You do. Yeah, exactly.
Man. We don't get to pee standing up. Don't you? You could. Couldn't. No. That'd be really awful. I told the girls they could go. They just have to get the hot towel shaved. I'll do it. We don't want to go. I don't want a beard. I'll do it. What? No, I don't. I don't think I can. Yeah, see? I don't know, but what if it goes, hair goes back dark? What if you grow a red beard? Like, I don't. Sienna. Sienna, this is a true statement. And I'm not kidding. That's. B.S. Is it? Yes, it is. Well, that happened when I shaved my legs as a little girl. I came back stubbly. I'll tell you why. Because your legs eventually grew hair. You got hair. Yeah. I got places on my face, right, that don't grow. Ditto. I shave them like crazy. Yep. They're not going to grow. You know why? Because there's really no hair there. That is true. You're not going to grow hair. Okay, but I'm still not doing it. Jay. Yes, sir. Did you talk to the winners? Have I talked to the winners? Yes. Actually, Adam's in the process. We've got Adam's confirmed, locked down, ready to roll. We're waiting for the other one. Has he already said that he has a friend? They haven't said yet. We're waiting to hear. We'd take Ella Bee and Sienna if they do the hot towel shave. Hot toilet shave. Have you a little man time? Well, now I have to deal with babysitters and stuff now, and now I can't even do it. I have Jenna on Friday. Yeah.
I have naps to be had. I got naps. Black eyes to conquer. Yeah. A whole list of things. But I really do want to do something special. You guys get to go be pampered. Lauren and I should as well. Yeah, for sure. For sure. You guys. I just had a baby. I deserve a massage. Yeah. True story. Todd, check that out. Yeah. Make that ride. Oh, he's the worst. All husbands are terrible at a massage. He cannot rub my back for anything. We're all like... Am I done? My hands hurt. Three minutes, and he's like, oh, my hands. I do that. I'm like, oh, arthritis. We do three minutes, and it's like we've been doing it an hour. I know. Apparently, Jay gives good back rubs. I'm kind of a specialty of mine. I believe it. Yeah, back rubs are kind of a specialty of mine. I could give a hundred back rubs in an hour. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. There's only one back rub for every person. I've got back rubs in my attic right now. Yeah, I back rubbed. I didn't want to do it, but I let me know. It's not the first time the long arm of the back rub has caught up with me.
These are all lines that Jay likes to say. I like to back rub at weddings. So what? Some Halloween lanterns have been recalled. We're going to tell you which ones and why. Denise Richards was on the Today Show yesterday and got asked about whether or not she's the one that called 911 on Charlie. I love that sappy back rub. It's next. I'm so back rub. Comfortable. FM 94.9's 8th Anniversary Bash is going to rock. It's going to be so awesome, man. If you have not got tickets to our 8th Anniversary Bash yet, please do. This thing is going to be awesome. Plus, we're going to be there singing. I'm going to sing a song and sing Surrender. It's going to be gorgeous. It's going to be amazing. Hold steady. Night marchers. New politics. Company of thieves.
$26. Don't forget the FM 94.9 station band. That's right, which we will be in. Let's see. Fourth and B, November 13th, Saturday night, presented by Miller Lite. Good times. You want to go? Just go to FM94.9SD.com. You going to rehearse at all or just going to wing it? Don't know the song. We got to rehearse. Don't know the song. It's best when you sing a song with a band that you never played with before. You might want to run through it once or twice. 12 times. He told me as we get closer, we'll get together. It's what? Two weeks away? Was that not close? The day before. My favorite thing. I love... Are we not? My favorite thing is sarcastic woods. It is the greatest thing. Beats the crap out of defensive woods. That's for sure. You guys hate defensive woods. Sorry, everyone. I love you all. Sarcastic woods is funny.
I don't want to sing Surrender. You have to. I don't know the words. I don't know the words. I don't know the words. You can have them down there or something. It's too late. It's what you're singing. You better learn it, and you better learn it fast. What? Oh, my. I couldn't help it. I can't help it. You need to stop. I can't control it. And, Lauren, you need to stop laughing at it. I didn't laugh. Yesterday. What about yesterday, L.O.B.? I got L.O.B. She guaranteed it will never stop. It'll never stop. She guaranteed it. Sienna didn't help either. She snickered too. You missed it. No, Sienna was not here. No, but earlier. It made Lauren laugh about as hard as I've ever seen you laugh. Okay, because I looked at your face. A fart. A fart? Yeah. And it was so childish the way he did it. It was so childish. He comes to the door and he goes, hey, Mike. No, no, no. No, no. You messed it up. You did. What? You were laying on the lovesack. I was getting a cup of water. And I hear Mikey from the other room. Mikey goes, does anybody have anything sweet? And I go, I ran in. And I go, I got something sweet for you, pal. And L.O.B.
Almost fell out of her chair. I love the timed ones when they're timed perfectly. She was beet red. Mikey was dying. She was laughing so hard, and I was expressionless. I was so shocked, and then I looked at Mikey's face, and he was so disgusted that that is more what made me laugh. It was such gold. I live with someone who does that every single day, so it's like if you can't laugh, then you'll lose your mind. Yeah, see? It's all in good fun. And his backside was pointed at least towards the other room. If you're fun, if I didn't have to smell your fun, it's great. Odorless. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. We'll get some Febreze or something in here. It smells like a gym locker room in here. It's so gross. Ella B. put something in her recap that I can relate to. She said... Black man? What? She hates walking into a store and seven people run up to her and say, can I help you? I hate it. And you know what's really interesting about it and that I thought to myself is it's either that or you're like, can anybody help me? Oh, yeah. But see, I've never, and when I say never, I mean never have I needed help.
at a department store. When I go to a department store or a Banana Republic or a Gap, I know what I'm going for, man. It's taste. In a Target, you need help. Yeah. Never. Okay, how about this? What if you're getting, what if you're getting, you're going camping. Okay. All right? And you're going to get a tent. That's different. And you don't know from tents. That's different, man. That's what I'm talking about, though, bro. They don't do that, like, at REI or at... played against sports. They don't help you? No, they will. But they don't have the seven guys rushing you like they do at the Gap. And that's what I'm saying. I don't want it at the Gap. Yeah, exactly. I want it when I'm buying a lantern. And there's a million different categories of what... goods are sold at that store. When it's just a clothing store or just a shoe store or whatever, you just want to look around, see what they have. You go into the gap knowing what the gap has. The only time they should help you in a clothing store is when you're already in the dressing room and maybe you need another size. Do you have any of these in the back? They're just trying to make that money. I worked at Banana Republic and the bit was like, yeah, you better ask them three times. You're like, still okay, man? Yeah, dude, I'm fine. You sure?
It turns me off to the whole shopping experience. I get anxious walking in like, Banana is the worst. And I like their clothes. I like their jeans, their t-shirts. And I know I'm getting three pairs of boxers and three pairs of socks. And I know where they are and I know how much they cost. I just got to grab my size and whatever design I want. I don't need your help. I want you to walk through this with me. And now, before I say this, I'm going to tell you flat out, I love REI. I like it. I like REI. It's a rad store. I love it. It's a great store. I love it. This is what happens when I leave REI. Didn't happen this last time, but that's the only time it hasn't. But this is what happens. You be me, I'll be the cashier. Hey, sir, how are you today? I'm good. Is this going to be all for you? Yeah, this is it. Okay, would you like to join our co-op? What's that? Co-op is a one-time fee that you pay. How much?
It's $20. Okay, $20. Yeah, and what it is, a one-time fee that you pay yearly, and then as you accumulate things, as you buy things, then you get a break on the price because you belong to the co-op. God, I'm going to be shamed into this. Yeah. Turn me down. Turn me down. No, thanks. Are you sure, sir? Because the thing is, is that as you buy things here, it'll save you money in the long run. I don't... You can see me. I don't do a lot of outdoor hiking and whatnot, rock climbing and things. I happen to be going on a retreat. I needed a sleeping bag. I'm glad you said that. You see, most of our customers think that they're not going to use it. But as it turns out, you do end up using it more than you think you do. Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I'm just going to stick with the goods that I brought up here to pay for right now. No problem. Okay, it's going to be $100.45. Here's my debit card. Before I take that, sir, I just want to let you know, had you been a member of our co-op...
This would have been $97.25. Okay. Yeah, three bucks is, you know, great. I mean, it's not worth it to me. But yeah, if you could just bag my stuff. I got three kids and a wife at home. Before I read through the final purchase, would you like me to join you up with a call? No, I'm good. I've been up since 1.30 and I'm about to slit somebody's throat. So if you just let me go, it'd be great. It's the worst. It's the worst. That's when you're screaming inside your head. Now, last time they didn't do it. Last time they asked once. And I said, no, thank you. I'm surprised you didn't get shamed into doing it. I know. I know. I always do. The first time Rebecca sent me there, and the bit is, it's like, all I'm doing is putting air in a stroller's tire. Right. And the first time she sent me, she goes, they're going to ask you to join the co-op. Say no. And I go, what does that mean? She goes, just, they're going to ask you to join the co-op. Say no. No idea what they were talking about. It's like a new cult or something? Yeah. Now, there are some people that are like Jay. Jay should join the co-op. Oh, I'm a co-op member. I bet. I get great money back. Yeah. I've never even been to REI. Yeah, it's cool. It's great. I mean, there's no doubt. It's cool. It'll make you feel fit. Yeah. Oh, I should go. What is the number one charity of the Mikey Show? Children's Hospital. Exactly. I go to get my Halloween stuff the other day, and I go up to the front, and I'm getting a wig and glasses, and it's 20 bucks. Yeah. Would you like to donate to Rady Children's Hospital? Yeah.
And I look on the wall, 3,000 donations to Rady Children's. And in my head, I'm like, gosh, our show does a lot for those guys. I'm like, yeah, how about five bucks? And I get shamed to it every single time. Every donation I give to everyone. See, I have a pretty standard line I say now. I say, no, not this time. Oh, see, that's El Cheapo to me. If I'm the cashier. Not this time. I have done it. Run through it with me, Sienna. I'm ringing you out. If it's Children's Hospital, if it's anything with kids, I can't say no. Would you like to donate to the Crippled Children's of America Foundation? Yes, I do. It was $100. Would you like to donate to the ASPCA? I don't know what that is. Not this time. Okay. Thanks very much. You know what they should say? You know what they should say to you? Nice ring, by the way. Oh, is that a Volvo you have? It should be this. They should say to you, hi, would you like to be a monster today or not? I know. I'll be a monster today. Thank you. I love that they now have at some grocery stores when you're checking out, they don't ask you if you want to donate. It's on the credit card thing. And you can just be like, no. Yes, I did it. Some places do both, though. So you hit no. They hit no. And then they still ask you again. You're like, no. If you look closely, I already clicked no. Check out the screen. It's petrifying. Well, if they ask you if you'd just like to donate a dollar, in my head, I'm like, what's one more?
Right. So I do it. And then I think, okay, in the long run, that was only a dollar out of my pocket. If they get 50 of me today, then that's a good day. Yeah. You guys know where I like to go before work a lot is I will stop by CVS on the way. And I love CVS. Could spend days in CVS. But they have their bit with the CVS card. Oh, I love the CVS card. It is so great. It is. See, for me, here's my thing. Jamie has a CVS card. I don't. You be the cashier. Hi, sir. Is this going to be all today? Yeah, this will do it. No problem. Do you have a CVS card? I do not. Would you like one? No. My wife actually has one, and she uses it and collects all the stuff. No problem, but it only takes a couple of minutes to fill out. You could actually do it while you're waiting in line. Yeah, and you know what? Try her number. It's blah, blah, blah. Oh, it's not coming up. Yeah, that's weird because that's been her number for four years, but I'm cool. I'll try it again. No, no. I just really got to go. Sir, it's still not showing up. I know, it's not. I don't need one, though. No way. I'm not here that much. You can save money. I'm not here that much. Let me put this in your bag, and if you'd like to fill it out, you can fill it out later. Thank you. Maybe just throw it in the garbage. Sometimes.
I've been there and I've forgotten mine or whatever and they'll go, here's mine. Why don't they just do that every time? Sometimes they do because they want you to reap the rewards because you do. You can walk out of there and get $5 in your pocket and a bottle of Advil and you're like, how did that just happen? And I have. I've gotten before $15. So I'm an idiot for not doing it? You are. $15, bro, from CVS. You get money back and a free item and you're like... Really? Dude, sometimes you're lucky, sometimes you're not. So I'm a big jackass. No, you're not. Last time I was there, they said next time you spend $15, $5 off. I'm like, oh, wow, okay. I spend thousands of dollars at CVS. You would benefit from it. It's a good thing. Oh, did I tell you, by the way? I didn't tell you guys this story. Went to CVS the other day, and I had to fill a prescription. Woods was there because he had to fill a prescription. I can't imagine you guys running into each other unexpectedly in public. Exactly. And I had told. We might have texted each other. And I had told Woods to go to the Minute Clinic. Oh, yeah. Right? I didn't tell this. Come again? Do you know what the Minute Clinic is? Okay. If you don't want to spend time. I almost don't even want to tell people. It's so good. I know. It's so good. I almost want to keep it a secret. Minute. Minute. Minute Clinic. Okay. It sounds great. If you don't want to go. It's the greatest thing in the world. If you don't want to go make an appointment with a doctor.
if you don't want to go to urgent care, if you don't want to go into an emergency room, but you want to like get medicine prescribed to you for your cold or your sore throat or whatever. Like I was sick. You guys knew I was sick. I sounded sick. I was coughing sick. I was sick. You go to CVS and they have something. No, no, no. It's not free. But it is, it's what it is, a nurse practitioner, which is exactly like a doctor, except that they can't write like. opiates. They can't write you a prescription for like, you know, they can't write you a prescription for like, you know, painkillers. Dilaudid. Yeah, they can't do that. But they can write you Z-Packs and, you know, antibiotics and stuff like that. Anything you need, you can go and they don't call it the Minute Clinic for nothing. You walk in there, and sometimes there's no wait. You go right in. Where is it? CVS. CVS. Damn it. I know it. I don't want everybody to do it. Anyway, anyway. There's tons of them, though. No, you don't even go to the pharmacy, dude. You walk in. I've never seen it. Yeah, you walk in, and you just look. There's signs that go minute clinic. It points right here. It's by the photos. You walk up there. It's by the photos. By the photos. I don't know that it's in everyone. We're screwed. We're never going to get in there again. I don't know that it's in everyone. It's not. It's not, but it's at a bunch of them.
I've never heard of it. It's the greatest. It's the greatest. Is it one-on-one in a private room? Yeah, in a private room. Wow. Yeah. It's like being at a doctor's office, but no wait. Is there a lazy boy? No. There's a lazy boy. But I told Woods. Do they serve you tea? I told Woods that he should go, because he was, you know, he didn't want to go to the doctor, and I knew he didn't. But I also knew, I said, you coughing anything up? He goes, yeah. I said, what color? He said, green. I said, I go, you got bacteria, you got to get, you got to get. I should be a doctor, by the way, because I get diagnosed. You have free diagnoses. I go... I said, you have something. You need to take an antibiotic for it. He said, I'm not going to go to the doctor. I go, dude, go to the CVS. Go to the Minute Clinic. You get right in. That is so good to know. You don't need health insurance? Yeah, you do. They don't hand you the medicine and go, here, have a nice day. Well, I mean, you've got to pay for it, but you have to be insured as well. Yeah, but it's just so convenient. But there's no waiting room. No waiting room, none of that. No beating of tests. Right. So I walk into the CVS, and Woods is already there. I saw his car outside.
So I know he's in the minute clinic. And so I walk up to the minute clinic and it says with patient. But I'm like, I don't care. It's Woods. It's Woods. I go, she opens the door. There's this guy in there. And I knew it was Woods immediately. I thought it was Woods. So I go, what up, dude? It wasn't me. It wasn't Woods. Some guy looking at me like. Who are you? Pants around his ankles. And at that exact moment, Woods walks around the corner on his cell phone. He goes, hey, what's up, dude? I'm surprised that you even tried to go in even when Woods was there. I would never do that. Oh, yeah. He was going to try to kuday Tommy. Yeah, I mean, I'm like, it's Woods, you know? What are you going to do? And I figured I'd go in and I... The doctor would be like, excuse me, I'm with a patient. Yeah, and I figured I'd go, I know this guy. He's my son. I'm here to pick him up from school. That seems more likely if it was your child in there. Yeah, it kind of is. You guys have any issues with boundaries? It's not just me, right, Lauren? Yeah. That's not weird, is it? If it had been you or...
Sienna or whatever, no way would I ever do that. It was Woods. I knew he was in there. No, no, no. I'm not weirded out because of Woods. The doctor would have been like, excuse me, what are you doing? I know her because I go there. It's cool. I know both of them. Yeah, I know Barbara, so it would have been fine. It was classic. I saw him and I'm watching him do this and I'm like... What are you doing? And he's like, and he does like the knock open bit. Like the hey. And I'm like, I'm like, hey dude, I'm over here. I was talking to my buddy who was calling in his e-pack. Here was the guy. Here was the guy. He had just let his t-shirt down. Because whatever, he was like, look, she was looking at his, he lets his t-shirt down. And she's like, yes. Like she thinks it's important. Oh my gosh, Mike. She thinks it's important. She's like, yes. And I go, hey dude. Creep. Creep. Oh, my gosh. That's not Woods. And then Woods is like, what's up? And I go, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I found him. I found him. He's my buddy. It was so funny. She's like, you're banned from the minute. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it was very embarrassing. It was great. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, great. Now it's going to be 800 people. Never mind, we just didn't tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's called the second therapy session or something. No, it's called the hour-long clinic. The hour clinic. The hour clinic. Anyway.
So we were talking about the reason that I brought that up is because the thing with L.O.B. is because it does. I wish that we could wear a little sign around our neck that said we're OK. I'm OK. Just browsing. Yeah. Yeah. I want to wear a T-shirt that says just browsing. Yeah. When you're in a store. It's the worst. I was like, what were we talking about before? Here's all you need to do. I've worked in retail on a couple different facets of it. The person walks in, hi, give them a smile to let you know, hey, I'm available if you need me. I'm an approachable person. Then let them do their browsing. Absolutely. If you're in retail. Now, LOB, the smile and the hi that you just gave, you can also use when walking in the door. When I looked at your face, I read in your face, hi, I'm good. I'm just browsing. Oh, yeah. So there is a smile you can give, and it's like, hi, how are you? I give that, and then I dart my eyes quickly over to the rack I want to go to. And you do the nod. Hi, how are you? I know what I'm doing. Yes. Chris thinks we're nuts. He does, but it's the truth. It's the truth. It's worse on a car dealership. Oh, gosh. They're like vultures. 150%. Did we talk about the Halloween lanterns and why they got recalled? Why'd they get recalled?
Because of, let me... It's all right. Battery operated problems. What? We are going off on a tangent. Stop it. Now, these are lanterns that resemble a pumpkin, a ghost, or a skull. They come in different colors, orange, white, and black. But they can overheat, posing fire and burn hazards. Oh, great. So there's a number to call. If you think you may have one. But basically, they're about six and a half inches tall. Pumpkin, ghost, skull. Check it out. Make sure it's okay. And redo the batteries because they can have a fire. Where are people going to put that? Where? Yeah, what would you do? Like outside their house. On your porch and stuff. Are you not decorated? Yeah. Oh, you are a Scrooge. Espenar's a Scrooge. They were sold from August to October. So if you purchase one of these from August to October at like a Dollar Tree store or something like that. You're screwed, Jesper. Esparna. I remember this growing up. Woods, that's great. Woods, that's a great Paul Stanley. My hero when I was a little kid. We haven't talked about the Charlie Chaplin thing. We got to do that at some point. I know. Don't you mean Charlie Sheen? I'm just kidding. I'm losing my mind.
Pumpkin pancakes. Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned. Yeah. IHOP brought some pumpkin pancakes that were really good. It's kind of a seasonal deal. Uh-huh. You know, we're getting into November here in just a minute. And so they thought, why don't we break out our design-your-own pancakes for Halloween? We'll also do our seasonal pumpkin pancakes. They're delicious. They were delicious. They were so good. Turkey sausage. Hash browns, bacon. That was turkey sausage? Mm-hmm. You didn't even know, did you? They had pork and turkey. Didn't know. He had turkey. I watched him. Didn't know. That was freaking good, man. Threw some cinnamon on top of it and then some of that whipped cream. Fooled me. I love IHOP. Yeah, IHOP's real good. And tomorrow, they're going to be celebrating a little bit early. They're going to be offering trick-or-treaters 12 and under. A free scary face pancake at 7 o'clock. Sweet. From 7 in the morning to 10 at night. I can't wait to get spooky. What are you going to dress as? I don't know. Great. Great. I don't know, but I love getting scared. I do not. I don't either. Hate it. I just got an idea for me. What? You have to wait. Jamie wanted to go to that scream zone.
Yeah. She goes, did you get tickets for that? I go, I could have gotten free tickets. And she goes, why didn't you? I go, I don't like to be scared. I don't want to go anymore. I hate being scared, but I'm still going to go. It's fun. Jay's been scaring people throughout this building, including all of us, and tape recording our reactions. And we're going to play it on the radio tomorrow. It's so brilliant. Wait till you hear mine. Well, we won't hear all of it because it had to be bleeped mostly. Can we bleep it? It has to be bleeped, yeah. And it has to be completely believed. I hear you. The conversations leading up to it are part of the funniest part. I started scaring my family members at first. I started it at home and kind of worked up. He's good. Jay is really good. Yeah, he's pretty good at getting us ready for the scare. So, Sienna, tell me about the 13 celebrities. that have said no to Playboy. Some of these are kind of surprising. Really? Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson's baby mama. Now, that doesn't surprise me. Surprises me. I thought in this civil case that something come back and say, oh, look, you put tatas on magazine cover. Exactly. Yes, that's true. That's right, Oksana. Good point. I bet you do at some point go into Playboy magazine. I bet you don't, Oksana. I'm not what was once was.
You were not what once was. And I think this, too. I think that you think that it may ruin your credibility, right? Yes, they say, oh, how convenient. Now you have tatas spread across for all men to see. Oh, maybe all men put you on ground. Right. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Wow, Oksana. That was pretty heavy. From my mouth to your ears. What credibility would you be losing, Oksana? Because you really... I've done nothing. She says that she didn't do anything wrong, so why are you busting on her? I mean, her credibility for your career. She doesn't really have a career. She's a musician. Musician, right? You play piano and you sing and all that. I do all these. Yeah, she does all these. Also, Nelly Furtado, Lady Gaga. Weird. Justin Bieber's mom. Ew. She's apparently pretty cute, Patricia Bieber. That's the filthiest thing I've ever heard. Yes. Just because...
Obviously, he would... No. Yeah. It's just wrong. I don't care how hot she is. It's wrong to ask her. It is. And he's going to be hearing, A, are you excited? Yeah. It's coming out in two weeks. Hey, dude, look at your mom, man. Kid already gets enough guff. Yeah, people would hold that up at his concerts. Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah, for sure. Melanie Brown, the former Spice Girl, Scary Spice, turned down Playboy five times. Can't even tell you what she looks like or who she is. She's the black girl. Okay. Was there only one black girl in the Spice Girls? Yes. All right. You know that. City Group Banker, Debra Lee Lorenzana. I don't even know who that is. Who? City Hill Banker? It says City Group Banker, Debra Lee Lorenzana. She's a bank teller. Very attractive. I don't know. Oh, was it the one that got... She got fired because she was wearing something too low-cut. Oh, she was hot, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. That's because you have a big jug. I remember. It says she appeared in a 2003 plastic surgery documentary saying she'd like to be stacked like a little Playboy Playmate. And they said, well, we'll give you your shot. So they used that against her, I'm sure, in the case. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brooke Hogan. Jennifer Love Hewitt. I'd pay to see Jennifer Love Hewitt. I can't believe she hasn't done it. 100%. Brooke Hogan?
Do you know what Brooke Hogan looks like? Yeah, I'm not a fan. Really? She's kind of like her dude dad. She looks just like the mom. She's pretty. She's really tall. I met her and she was towering over me. Me too. And I'm pretty tall. Yeah. Yeah. She's about six feet tall. Yeah. She's managed to me. Yes. Melissa Joan Hart. It's a B-I-T. It's a B-I-T. No, you're out of your gorge. Jay's the creepiest dude ever would slay any of these girls. You're out of your mind. But when you say it, he's like, they're ugly. I don't think they're hot. I have standards. Jay's like, I like poets. I have standards. I like Maya Angelou. That's beautiful. Sally Field. Brooke Hogan would be bigger than Jay, though. Betsy Adams. Betsy Ross. She'd use me like a back scratcher. Actually, Mike, you don't know this, but I actually had Betsy Ross on the American flag. The first American flag. I'm related to Betsy Ross. It's in everybody. I am. Come on. Every white girl in America says she's related to Betsy Ross. No, they don't. Only the ones that really are. How are you?
I don't know. My grandmother told me sometime. If my aunt Eileen is listening right now, maybe she knows. She can call in. 570-1949. Let's hear from you, Eileen. Melissa Joan Hart. You know who that is, right? Clarissa Explains It All. Jessica Alba. Yes. Mamacita. And this last one. Kelly Osbourne? No. Come on. I know. Lauren? Yes. She's foul. I'm sorry. She's cute now. Oh, come on. You haven't seen her recently. She's been asked twice. Get. Just to make Ozzy probably lose his head. I mean, she's lost a lot of weight. She looks good, but never playboy good. No. It doesn't matter. Does Playboy have standards? Yes, big ones. Playboy's a classy magazine. Now, though, Playboy's doing a lot more stuff. They had Marge Simpson doing stuff to get attention because there's so much online stuff now that they're not doing as well. There is? Yeah. Stop it. He just totally smirked. There is. Sniggle, sniggle, sniggle. 5701949 is our number if you want to get a hold of us.
This is David Arquette was on live with Regis and Kelly. And he was talking about his relationship status with Courtney Cox. The fact of the matter is, you know, I love my wife. She's an incredible woman. We're just at different places right now. And there's going to be a story coming out that said I was a cheater. And I was faithful to my wife for 11 years. Like, you know, completely devoted. And we had been separated for a while, and we didn't want to make that public, so it wouldn't be a big deal. But we also had an agreement that we could, you know, date other people. So somebody sold the story, and I didn't want to get labeled as a cheater. I don't blame you. Awkward silence. A little bit, right? A little bit. He bothers me. Why? Because he was nobody for so long and Courtney Cox doing really well. She's like a cougar or something like that. And he's coming out all over every show just trying to get 15 more minutes. She did it first, by the way. She did? Yep. She didn't give personal details. No, no. She had a relationship first before David did. I don't care if they had an agreement. Go ahead and do your thing. But I'm just saying. I don't know if she really did. That's a rumor. No, she did. The guy from the Cougar Town show? Yeah.
I listened to an interview. Is she accusing him? No, and he's not being accused. It's the story. And what he thinks is that it was the girl who he had the affair with. They were dating. She's a waitress, and she'd done this before. Where do I know this stuff from? My God. She had sold the story, is what he thinks. That she jabbed him behind his back. Well, he's just like... He's a weird dude. I mean, he's sure she was an aspiring actress, waitress, something to gain. It doesn't matter. It just creeps me out that he's going around on Howard Stern's show, now with Regis and Kelly, just giving personal details. He even said on Regis and Kelly that Courtney Cox was really PO'd, and that's what he said after his Howard Stern interview, because he's giving all these details. He said that he cried after the first time he slept with someone else other than his wife. I mean, it's like, you don't need to say that. He's just looking, like I said, for the 15 minutes. and become relevant again. But I think also he's trying to defend himself a little bit. Nobody really cared, though. That's true. She's the one who wanted the divorce, right? Yeah, but nobody would we all have been like, I need to know the details. No, but I think knowing me, if something was going to come out about me, I would have tried to defend myself. He's a man scorned. That's right. Not only that, but I think that there are some people that when they're in an interview, just they speak. Blather. I do know.
Yeah, but he's like, I love my wife. He says that right now. They're still married. But it's like you're hurting her by saying all this stuff. I mean, no matter what. Why does it? Why? I mean, maybe this sounds naive, but why does it? Why is it hurtful that he says the first time he had sex? Not that. I mean, it's just kind of saying, like, why are you need to talk about? when you were having sex with someone. Because a story's coming out branding him as something and he's wanting to defend himself. Well, couldn't he have left it alone at we had an agreement? Why does he have to be like, this is how devoted I was? And he's like, yeah, this girl was a cocktail waitress. It's like, ah. I'm kind of on board with it. I don't see. I don't have a problem. When I hear a guy say, I cried the first time I had sex with somebody other than my wife. First of all, I don't agree with the behavior. Right. I say get married and then have sex. You know me. Yeah. But okay, if you're going to say that, I mean, that to me sounds like that may be honest. But I agree. And I've had conversations with you guys off the air where it's like, you don't really want to know. Like, if you could go on a break or you break up and then see each other, you don't want to know. Like, I don't want to know who, when, how. So she's saying.
that's not very considerate to Courtney Cox. Now she's having to know about you. And they have a child, you know. She'll hear about it. If you leave me high and dry, you know, if you leave me, and don't expect me to be nice if you leave me hanging. Well, you look like a fool, though, going on a book tour. I'm hurt. What I have a hard time with is the same thing as Tiger Woods. It's like, why does the public need to know the details? You don't need to give the details. Hurt Courtney if you feel that you need to, but do it. In your own time, not in front of the whole world. And I say, hey man, it's not going to do him any good to hurt her. No, and I think he's, like I said, I think his position is just one of wanting to defend himself. That's all I think. They asked him if he thinks they'll ever get back together. Do you think there's a chance you could get back together again? There's always a chance, yeah. I mean, I love her with all my heart. She's an incredible woman. I'll be friends with her. If you love her with all your heart. then why are you splitting up? Unless she left you. Unless she left you. Imagine that conversation, though. Like, the whole fast-forward the tape thing. Say there is a chance in hell they get back together, and she's like, so what was that whole... You had to go on Regis. You had to go on Howard. You had to go on... Yeah, kind of ruining the chances. Why did you... I don't know. I guess that was just her. I don't know, but I mean, the way I look at it, too, is that we all talk about our personal lives, and I mean...
You know, we've all come on here with things, you know, when I first started, I was having trouble with my wife and I came on and I talked about it. But this is your job. I mean, if he had his own show. You guys realize, right, that David Arquette, he doesn't go, I think I'm going to go on Howard and I'm going to talk about this. Like the way that it happens is that he's got something to promote. And his publicists are getting him on as many shows as possible. What's he promoting? I don't know. He actually has a new theater that he opened in Hollywood in the Roosevelt Hotel. That's it. How convenient. Yeah, he has a thing, and he's promoting it. Boy, the guy's always got to be the bad guy. I know. I know. He's the one that ran out on him and cheated on him. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Left him brokenhearted. But he's also said details like how long they've gone without having sex. She's tired of being his mother. Yeah, she said that too, though. I just don't like private details out in public when not both of them are on board. I'm totally down with you guys on that. The only thing that strikes me as strange is this notion that he's like, he's got something that he's trying to sell. And so he's going on the show and he wants to talk about the stuff. And when he goes on the show, he gets at, okay, put it this way. Let's say, let's say L.O.B. that you're promoting some comedy shows. Okay.
And you're going on various different programs to get to promote your comedy shows. If you come on the comedy show and your relationship is well known, you're going to seem like a B if you come on the Mikey show. And I go, so what's up with your relationship? And you give me one of these. I'm just here to promote my comedy show. No, you don't need to say that. We're in different places right now. I still love her dearly. You could have omitted a lot of what he said. Omitted a lot. You could have said... But a good interviewer is going to get you to talk. No, not necessarily. And you can also have agreements set forth that you don't want to talk about certain things. Maybe not her, but you can get me real good. Listen, when I was seven... These people have publicists that train them on how to interview. And Mike, when we were promoting this new show... I'm sure you were like, hey, I'm here to talk about the new show. I'm not here to talk about December. I'll be honest. I told the guy, I said, I don't want to talk about the old, because we just got interviewed. And I said, the only thing I don't want to talk about is like real specific details about what went down. And the only reason that I don't want to is because I don't want to fight with him. Yeah, and he shouldn't want to fight with Courtney. And I said, and that's the thing. I mean, I think what this deal is is like what Jay was saying, and it ain't right.
I guess the guy's hurt and he wants to get back, which it isn't right. It's not going to help. You fast forward the tape. It isn't going to help, which is why I did the thing. Trust me. There is a huge side of me that wants to go. Here's every single detail. Good and bad about what happened with me and my former crew. Good and bad. And some of it's going to make me look bad. But you took. I want to take that. I took the. Listen, faith is trusting God enough to do what he says. And sometimes I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. And I'm like a little kid. It's not easy to do. No, I don't like it. I just want to do what I want. But, you know, that's the deal. And David Arquette had the opportunity to take the high road, which I don't think he did. Yeah, I agree with you. I agree. He really doesn't still let her go. He's not too proud to beg. Dark Knight has a sequel. How do you have a sequel to Dark Knight? You don't have Heath Ledger. Well, his character wouldn't be in the sequel, right? The Joker wouldn't? No. Penguin wouldn't be in the last one. Yeah. All right. Well, Dark Knight has a sequel, and we know what the name of it is. You guys just saw Batman Nerds real good? Yeah, real good. I'll tell you next. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Alice Cooper. Love it to death. I'm going to kill you, Mike. Yeah, Mike, why don't you come to my office? Off the air. I'd like to slap you in the neck.
The neck. The neck. I want you right in the ear. I'm going to give you a purple nurple. Yeah. I'm going to lay you down and give you a big fat pink belly. Garrett, why don't you come in the studio more? Garrett, get in here. Garrett, I know you're listening. Get in here. Get in here. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Philly. Get in here. Detroit. I have your Kings of Leon CD for you, so come pick it up. Garrett, please. Just do it. I haven't seen you. Go ahead, clean out your desk. He's never been on the mic in here. He's never been on the mic. You're killing me. You're killing me. I'm going to kill you. We love our program. We love him. We need him on air right now. Get in here. If you love me, maybe you never mention me. Or at least call in, Garrett. Please. Please. Just come in here. Please. You won't do it. I'm going to hit and record you. Dr. EO. Sienna. I'm going to do it. Oh, you have to. I'm going to do it. Let's see. Hold on. Has he even come in to say hello, welcome back, Sienna? No, but I haven't heard. Holy cow. It's not Garrett. It's Hillary. Rocking. Sexiest thing ever. That's so sexy. I love it. Gary, where did you get those? That's sexy. I'm sorry. That is sexy.
They are Oshkosh. I wore them all the time. Turn to the side. Woods. Yes, I'm all the way in. It's the sexiest thing. I love it. I love it. Hillary, you're so cute. I love it, Hill. But I was listening to you talk about that. I'm buying that for my wife today. She's going to be like, what? And I'll be like, babe, just please wear it around the house. She has the overalls with one strap down, a wife beater tank tip underneath, and she has it rolled up so you can see the midriff. Oh my gosh. There is nothing. Did I just see that on the air? Is that not loud? Yep. What did you do? I go, yeah! That was out loud? Really loud. Wow. Did I do it twice? Wow. I just like changed into the bathroom because I heard you guys talking about it while I was getting ready and I was like, dude, I totally still have my overall. They were actually in my Goodwill pile. No way. And I was like, I can... Don't argue with them. They look good. I'll bet that half the wives in America...
they don't know what their husbands think is the hottest thing in the world. How would you know that that is it? I know, I know. Okay, I'm sorry though. If you walked home right now, Mike, and you... walked in the door and Rebecca was in overalls, be like, hey, sweet overalls. No, no, no. What if she had paint on her forehead? Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse. What is excuse? Excuse. Well, if she, hey, all I know is that if Lauren was able to say Obvi. Obvi. Obvi for the word obvious a minute ago. She's a girl, though. Excuse. Uh-oh. If I came home and my wife was wearing an extra small tank top underneath a pair of overalls, I'd barely make it in the house. Yeah, true. It'd make breastfeeding easy. Just undo one. Now you ruin it. Now you ruin it. Now you ruin it. Is it that everything is kind of covered and then you get that glimpse? Yes. Clean up, I won. Yes. The glimpse of the side midriff. Combat boots. Oh, yeah. I had, was it eight-hole docks or nine-hole docks? I can't remember, but I lived in them. Oh, my gosh, the docks. Oh, yeah, I had them. Lived in them, yeah. I knew it.
Loved it. Yeah. That's right. I forgot about clothes. Loved it. I have regular clothes in your other room. You look great. Don't you change. Ella B., would you ever rock the overalls? Oh, my God. That was like my favorite outfit that I would wear. Can I ask you guys? I knew I was so cool. Well, was it because it was cool and comfortable or was it because you knew guys knew that? I just looked in the mirror and I was like, I look good. This is a good outfit. I couldn't wear the midriff to school. Do it in a Philly accent. How would a Philly girl know that that was the hottest thing in the world? Because it was just what people were wearing then. You come home and you're like, what can I take out of the closet, you know? You come home. You know, my guy used to wear overalls. You know, Tommy and I would put on tank tops. Really good. Show a little mid-riff. Mid-riff. That's right. I don't think I want my belly on the internet. You look great. 570-1949 is our number. She's so cute. Reminds me of the video, Come On, Eileen. I know, it's Dynamite. Mike just turned off his microphone.
and said it's the sexiest thing in the world. It's so great. Maybe you go pick up a pair of overalls for your wife. I am today. I'm going to. For your wife and just a little tank top. She's going to go. Why don't you bring a banjo with it? Because, you know, when's the last time I wore overalls? Well, mine got too small because I grew. And so the overalls were like going up my butt, giving me a wedgie. It's like once your hips come in. Maybe overalls come back. Hill, what do you got coming up? Oh, I don't even know. I know. She's changing in the bathroom so I could be funny. There you go. Well, let me tell you. That was hysterical. Yeah, you pulled it off. It took us all a second. We were like, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. I love it. Well, the lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next. And there you go. Garrett. Mike and Michelle will come back tomorrow morning. Garrett. Do this all over again. Garrett. Philly, Philly, Philly, Philly, Philly. That's right. See you tomorrow morning. Mike shows out late.