The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/01/11

0:00Jay, you creep. Was it Jay? Of course. I forgot about that. What did I do? Was it you, L.O.V.? I saw him do it yesterday. I didn't hear what you said. I put my headphones on and I was like, ooh, what's in my left ear? And I look in there and it's a plastic black spider. Creep. The music that you're hearing right now is for the San Diego Chargers. From last night. Oh, there it is. That's not good. The symphony of a performance. Oh, yes. Yeah, they, I think the technical term is crapped the bed. Yes. You know, they did not do well on the Monday Night Football. Now, here's the thing.

0:52I picked the Chiefs, and I love the Chargers. They're my favorite team. Besides the Broncos, because they have Tim Tebow. Right. They're your third favorite team. No, they're not. They're not my third. Second favorite. No, they're not. They're not even one of my favorite teams, the Broncos. It goes Broncos, Chiefs, then Chargers. No, that is not it. Why are you Tebowing right now? No, I'm not Tebowing. You're Tebowing as we speak. I'm not Tebowing. But the Chargers, see, I am familiar. With my long love, the Chargers. She's the girlfriend that you take back every year. And you love her. I still love her. I'm not breaking up with her. It's the Padres too, right? Yeah, Padres and the Chargers. Now apparently it's the Chargers. But you love them. You won't break up with them. And you just hope that one day they'll change. But when I was looking at this Kansas City team and I go,

1:54They're not that good. They're just the right team to beat the Chargers in prime time. Oh, yeah. They're just the Fiat to bring down the Ferrari. Listen, I'm sorry. They're just the David to bring down the Goliath. Yes. Yes, they are. That would be perfectly put. There is no Ferrari in this town right now. And the guy that used to drive our Ferrari. Something's wrong with that dude. What's up with Phillip Rivers? I don't know. I don't know. I'm watching balls that he's throwing last night. First of all, he's throwing a frozen rope at one point. Then he's throwing a wobbly duck the next. And I'm like, oh, my God. It's very inconsistent. Two more picks. The biggest fumble of his life last night on Monday Night Football. It was absolutely disgusting. San Diego. We'll try to center the ball. We'll try to put the ball exactly where Nick Novak wants to kick the game winner from. Let's see who's got it. Somebody's got to get in there and get a look at it. Because it continues. There's been no signal. What a disaster. Kansas City came out with the ball. Looking in the pile. It is Chiefs ball. Oh, wow. Should have heard your boy last night. Oh, yeah. Oh. I'd have been flipping out. I was asleep, but I'd have been flipping out. I was.

3:27And my wife goes, oh, boy. Yeah. You really like them now, don't you? Oh, I love them. It is. It's something he's done 500,000 times in his career, taking a snap. And all you have to do, they had come back so strong from a crap game. And I mean, they look like crap. Field goal, field goal, field goal. Could not put it in the end zone. We got hosed. We got hosed on a call. Antonio Gates, touchdown. Called back for. Offensive pass interference. He barely touched the dude. The dude was all over him, too. He called it on Gates. Take the touchdown out. It was a crap night, but still, chance to win it. And all he had to do, take the snap, take a knee in the middle of the field, Novak comes in, kicks a game-winning field goal. Hey, man, before the game started, Woodsy, I saw Rachel Nichols, and she was going, had a chance to watch Phillip Rivers work out and talk to...

4:26Coach Turner and talked to Phillip. Phillip said that he had a chance this week to really work with some of these guys and get some timing back. She said he feels very confident going into this game that he really sort of turned the corner. I thought, oh, good. It was just like a no-brainer to me that that's the deal. That was not the deal at all. M1, L.A. Kingsman from San Diego, what's up? with Phillip Rivers. Timing just isn't there, man. It ain't there. He looks so strange, Phillip Rivers. Yeah. And the other thing is that it's a sloppy, undisciplined football team. 12 penalties for 105 yards. Marcus McNeil, I don't know where that guy's head is, but it ain't on the football field. Jeremy Clary, these guys are costing games. Where last year, I mean, Rivers is on his ass the whole time, and he's under pressure. He's under duress.

6:03He should have thrown three picks last night. He should have thrown three. This dude dropped. I mean, it was hitting him right in the hands. Right in the hands. It should have been three picks and a lost fumble. Oh, boy. It is sloppy and it's ugly. Rivers, after the game, you know, is just down. This one's rough. Because any loss, obviously, you won't throw us back. A couple of interceptions, we had another turnover. You know, there's plays that obviously we could play better. But when you know. You're a minute away from just leaking the clock and kicking a field goal to end it after the way we fought back. And then you blow it on a play on something that obviously never happens. Shit never happened. No, man, that's tough. That is tough. L.A. Kings fan, thank you for the call.

6:55Thank you. We appreciate it. And if you want, you can call us, 570-1949. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Kraut. That's Kraut. Word of the day, elevator. When you hear me say elevator between now and 10, caller 9, I'll give you a pair of tickets to see City in Color, November 8th at the House of Blues. I'm going. I cannot wait. It's going to be awesome. He's going to come in here and perform that morning. Yeah, that's right. He's going to sing Fragile Bird. That's sick. And I can't wait. You know, Mike, before we move on, I think we'd be remiss. If we didn't talk to the coach, the head coach of the San Diego Chargers. Well, what do you want me to say? I want to know what the hell's going on out there. I don't know what you want me to say. I can't be on the field and play the game for the players. All I can do is be on the sideline and call the best plays I know how. But in terms of the field, I can't do anything out there. What do you want me to do? Maintenance on the grass? Yes, do something. Get your team ready to play. Hey, listen. If you walked into Arrowhead Stadium and the bathrooms were...

8:00triangles and the circles were misaligned. Are you going to blame the head coach for that? At this point, yeah. You'd be wrong. I want to know what you have on the Spanos family or A.J. Smith. There's no blackmail. I might have a picture. You have a picture of A.J. doing a tuck back, don't you? In his office. Kimono thing. Yeah, he's in a kimono and you have that picture. Maybe an email. Here's the deal. I am one of the best motivators. Are you? Yeah, I'll tell you what I said to my players right before we went onto the field. We were in the locker room. I gathered them all together. I said, guys, Marsha said that last time we exited the airplane, we didn't pick up our wrappers and our paper cups and everything. And it's starting to get to be an issue for the people on the flight. The flight attendants have to take care of us. This isn't your house. This is game day?

8:58This is right before we went on the field. Oh, wow. This is it. Minutes before. Minutes before. And I said, yeah, and I said, and you understand, LLB, and you too, Jay. You know, that airplane is not their home. No. It's definitely an important thing to bring up. I just don't think right before you go on the field. Maybe after the game. Yeah. Maybe never. Or after the flight. Yeah. Well, you know, a lot of people would say that, but, you know, try being Tammy and Brenda on that flight and having to pick up after. You know, Hardwick will just leave stuff everywhere. What about the game, though? You don't have any words of... Well, you know, like I said, I can't play it. The guys with the bolts on the helmets that are out there doing that. My job is to make sure they know that this is not their house. They weren't raising a bar and closing the damn door. It's their parents' job. Yeah.

9:52Not yours. Yeah, well, Castillo peed all over the side of the laboratory, you know? And it ain't, there was no turbulence anywhere all the way back from KC. There was no turbulence, so what's the excuse, you know? I see your point. I do, I do. I really do, I do. So I get a text from Brenda, and she says, hey, Castillo peed on the side of the laboratory again. Why do you have the flight attendant number is what I want to know. On speed dial. Uh-oh. Oh, it's so bad. Dude, sitting out there right now not coaching, Bill Cower, Tony Dunchy, and freaking John Gruden. Give them whatever they want. Maybe they don't want. Well, here's what I know about. The three of them split it. Yeah. Try head coach. Work part time. Yes. They do three coaches at once. Well, Bill Coward said he wants to live on the East Coast. So if he ever came back to coaching East Coast. Happy birthday, Bill Coward. Got to be an East Coast team. Money talks. Yeah, maybe. But I don't think they're interested. They're not interested. Yeah, why would they be?

10:58Why would they be? Because their window, I can see their window slamming shut. Yeah. Gosh. Phillip Rivers was the consensus preseason pick for most valuable player. The Cats got 11 interceptions right now. And should be 12. And actually should be a lot more. Yeah. He has regressed. He is Romo-esque. And it's sickening because the guy was so good last year. Well, that's not the only thing that happened yesterday. The Padres also announced their new GM. Yeah, their third GM in two years. Josh Burns is the new executive vice president and general manager. Right out of the chute, comes out and declines the option. $5 million on Aaron Harang, who won 15 games last year. ERA below four. Why would you want a starting pitcher like that? And then Chad Qualls and infielder, outfielder Brad Hopp. They declined all those options. May renegotiate with Harang, but...

11:53They had a $5 million option, which is a bargain for a guy that's going to give you a couple hundred innings every year. Hooray! Why don't they raise the payroll? Why is the payroll so low? Nobody goes to games because there's a crap product on the field. There's a crap product on the field because nobody goes to games. And it's this gnarly cycle of you can't sell out a game, you can't raise the payroll because nobody's there. It's a nice stadium, though. It's a beautiful stadium. Look at that stadium. Oh, boy, Jay. If they build it, we won't go. Yeah. If you build it, we won't go. Maybe we should let the Tipsy Crows, Woodsies, set a professional baseball team. We had like 15 people at our game last week. Whoa. Which is, hey, that's almost a playoff game. I mean, it's just sitting there empty right now. It's ridiculous. Might as well. Well, at least, you know, we'd do some damage in there. That's for sure. This is Herman Cain because he's running for president of the United States, likes to put out commercials of people smoking cigarettes and then say that it was a mistake. And this is him denying sexual harassment allegations. Number one. There better be a number two, by the way, because whenever somebody says number one. Or first of all. Or first of all. There needs to be a second of all or a number two. Yes. Over 40 years of business experience.

13:13Running businesses and corporations. I have never sexually harassed anyone. Number two. While at the restaurant association, I was accused of sexual harassment. Falsily accused, I might add. So he says, I didn't do it. And let's see. Here's. Oh, and then he sang a hymn? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I'd be loving me some black women. That ain't going to help. That's probably not going to help in your case, Herman. I get hit on by black girls all the time. Herman. She's just making me horny. Herman, that's not going to help. That ain't going to help. That could be construed. Construed. Yeah, I can. For sure. Make it into that.

14:09I don't know since it became a crime to ask a woman to see a tease. I don't know what it is. Yeah, you can't. Can't you? No. No. Come on. I'm in a lot of trouble for that. No, you can't just sing a hymn and it all goes away. You can't do that. I know, I know. Let me see a tease. And then Kim Kardashian late in the show yesterday announced that she's getting a divorce after like 20 days or something. 72. 72 days. Yeah. 10 weeks. Yeah. We've done jail time longer than that. Irreconcilable differences. Yeah. Chilled bit. Yeah. Irreconcilable differences. It means we couldn't work it out. We couldn't try to work it out. Yeah. You should have to be married 90 days. Yeah. You should have to. Yeah. Here's what our state. Yeah. 90 days. Yeah. You should have to. It should be against the law to get a divorce. Before a year. Yeah. Here is what she released in her statement. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don't work out as planned. Maybe just give it a week. Yeah. I mean, it hasn't been baking very long. Give it a quarter.

15:34Okay, give it a quarter. Three months. That's like throwing a steak on the grill and coming back. 20 seconds later, you're like, I'm sorry this is not a well-done steak. I'm sorry. Stupid grill. It doesn't work. Sometimes grills don't work. You can't really cite irreconcilable. Oh, you could say it. That thing. You can't cite irreconcilable. Differences. You can't say it. I can't say it. Anyway, continue. No, no, no. You can't. If what? If you haven't given it a chance to reconcile. Irreconcilable differences. Means you have to try. Yeah, and my wife's a big subscriber to all those magazines, so I may thumb through them from time to time when I'm doing some business. They have not been together since they've been married. They've been doing, she's been one place, he's been another. Oh my gosh. He was in Vegas. He called an ex-girlfriend up in Toronto. It had to be just for the TV show. Well, he says that he's devastated and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. It sounds like it's not mutual. What happens to the ring? That giant ring. She could just feed the continent of Africa with it. It's massive. You mean the 20.5 carat ring? Yeah, that's the one. That small thing. Yep. He proposed to her on bended knee with a 20.5 carat ring.

17:00Spelling out, will you marry me in rose petals? Original. Come on. That guy can spell? Oh, leave him alone. Yeah, I mean, the guy's so broken. It's not his fault. She filed. Got her some chocolate-covered strawberries, too. It's a good bit. Why would you want to be married into that family? No. You can't choose a family thing. Well, you know what you're getting when you look at the family. Not me. I mean, I don't watch it. I don't know anything about them. All I know is that they are good-looking women. It would make you cry. I'm sure. It would break your heart. You'd vomit in your hands. They're so mean. I said this morning, you know, we were looking at this picture of Kim Kardashian. Yeah, we were. I said, it's too bad that she can't just be, like, cool. Because she's so pretty that... Imagine what she could be like and the impact she has. She was sweet. It burns my ass because they're famous for being born and there's no talent. Oh, see, in my opinion, she could be famous just on those looks. She could be a model. So Jessica Simpson is pregnant and announced it on Twitter. That's the new bit. If anything happens, you announce it on Twitter? Yeah.

18:27And she did. She said, it's true. I'm going to be a mummy. She was dressed as a mummy. A mummy. And it's her first kid. Her fiance, Eric Johnson, is the baby's mama. Baby's daddy. Baby daddy. The baby daddy. And they announced their engagement last year. Oh. I hope they stay married long enough for the child to be born. Well, I hope they marry and stay together and then the child is born. I hope that. That would be a good thing. But anyway. You're so old-fashioned. Yes. Yeah, apparently. I hearken back to the old 1920s. The old 1980s. Where people stayed married. Yeah. It was a weird, well, it was a very, it was all the way back 1982. You've got to go all the way back to 1982 to remember the times when why someone would decide to have intercourse, have a child, get married. and stay that way for at least eight and a half weeks. Wow, really? No way. Yes, these are old fables from yesteryear. Stop spinning yarns. That's right. That can't be true. This message about pregnancy in the 80s is brought to you by Ipana Toothpaste. Why, with Ipana Toothpaste, your teeth can be whitened within moments. That's Ipana Toothpaste. Brush-a, brush-a, brush-a. Brush with new Ipana.

19:56Hello, hello, yes? Oh, man. Boy, I'm over it. Yeah, I'm over it too, pal. Hey, you know what? The banks are getting screwed because a bunch of people are going to the credit unions. I mean, I'm talking huge amounts. 350% increase just at this credit union in Charlotte. 350% increase. Drop that zero and give it to you. Right? 88% increase at branches just in the past few weeks. And then the National Association of Federal Credit Unions, their searches on websites has more than tripled because people are like... Done. Sniffing around. I don't know. That's right. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. I don't want anything to do with the banks, we're saying. Maybe I'll take a cue. I hear a lot about San Diego County Credit Union. I've heard a lot, too. Yeah. Good people. It's a hassle to do it, though. They make it easy. Yeah, they do. I hear when you go in, you have to actually talk to the manager when you say you're closing your account. Wow. They make you like, you just can't do it. They bring the guy out, and he's like, hey, why are you closing your account?

21:16Tarkins back to the days when an ATM fee was only two and a half dollars. No way. Yes, it's actually true. Yes, two and a half dollars. Two and a half dollars at a strip club because that's super expensive. No, sir, that's not right. In fact, you could walk in to any grocery store that had a different sort of ATM than the bank that you go to and the fee was only... $2.50. Wow. As opposed to the $5 that you pay today. The good old days. You know, that goes to absolutely nothing. You're paying for absolutely nothing. Did they have a $5 monthly maintenance fee back then? Well, no. You see, back then, the maintenance fee was only $3.75. That's right, $3.75. To maintain it. To get your own money out. My goodness. Yeah, I might have just been sold. I'm for it. I might have just been sold. I'm all for it. We've been talking about it. Do they have ATMs, though? Right. They do. I haven't seen them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do I got to go there to do it? To get cash? No. Of course they have ATMs. And they have ATMs that work just like the regular bank ATMs at any of those places. Do I got to pay them?

22:33fee? No, I don't believe you do at a credit union. When you got the thing and you put it in the deal there and it says, hey, $8 okay for this transit? You're being held hostage at that point. You're like, I want a bag of Doritos. Weird. The ATM has a gun pointed at you and you're like, alright. You're like, hey, I want a fresh DP. Twix. Twix and maybe a donut here at AM, PM. And a thing at Copenhagen Long Cut. $8? I got to pay you just to get my money. Yeah, it's mine. It's mine. It's stupid. It really is stupid when you think about it. I gave it to you in the first place. Mo' money, mo' problems. Mo' money, mo' problems. 570-1949 is the number. I have to go wee-wee, so we got to take a break in just a second because usually we go a lot longer. Oh, my goodness. Let me see that. Kombucha. Kombucha. Kombucha. Sounds like Easter eggs. L.O.B. drinks something that I'd never heard of before I met her. Yep. It's called kombucha. It's delicious. Oh! So good? Oh, that'll wake you up, boy. It feels so good after you drink it. You really do. Oh, God. It blasts. I'm addicted. I'm addicted. Straight vinegar. Straight vinegar. Smells like straight vinegar. Smells like delicious.

23:59I wonder if it does anything for you. I feel it. Yeah. Yeah. I feel it in my pocketbook, too. It's like three bucks. Oh, yeah. Gosh. Oh, no. It's more than that. Is it? It's on sale for three bucks. Yeah. Do you know, they take... plant particles and they ferment it. And then they sell it to you for three bucks a bomb. It looks like a mushroom. Yeah, in jail they call that hooch. That's what they do. They make it from orange peels, potato skins, and you drink it and you get it hammered. And you drain it through a sock. Now, it's after the socks come out of the prison dryer, laundromat. Yeah, they call it hooch. It's really good. I wouldn't be able to speak to that. I guess Woods can. I've had a little nip of hooch in my day. A lot of times they make it in the toilet. Yeah, they do. That is 100% true. I learned the whole process when I was at Betty Ford. The guy that was the dude that ran my building was in prison at one time, became sober, and he told us a story about how he was one of the main hooch guys because he was in charge of mopping. And so he was able to get buckets that rolled on wheels and had, you put the mop in it, you know? Yeah, right.

25:14They'd make it in those. You've got to be desperate. Oh, they are. He said, it's a worst tasting thing you could possibly imagine. And he said that the hangover from it was like the worst possible hangover. Because it was just disgusting, you know? It was just disgusting. Wait until I tell you what this guy's brother was busted for. Well, I'll tell you right now. He got busted for making meth. But how did they find out? It was because he was barbecuing something, and when I tell you, you're going to go, James. And we're also going to play buzzwords, so if you want to play, call us right now and pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 5701-940. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back.

26:21FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit. The Blackout Party tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM949. The comedies of Fox Tuesday are all new and bigger than ever.

27:27Ain't no thing. Ain't no thing. First, it's the new Glee event filled with music. Mayhem. I am literally horny with fear. And a must-see kiss that's truly scandalous. Oh, man, this is trouble. Yeah, Zooey Deschanel returns in an all-new episode of New Girl. So fun, hanging with the dudes, watching scary movies. Have you guys ever seen Fiend? All right. Wait, where are you guys going? Followed by a new racing home. Awesome. It all starts with a new Glee event. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Innovation. It makes things better. Like Fox 5 News. Imaginative morning 5, 6, and 10 p.m. news on earlier. Doing more. Always live from San Diego. All of it delivered by the most engaging team in San Diego. Take a look at the Fox 5 News. Everybody likes to see a clean car or truck, but it's the oil you can't see that benefits most from being clean. Changing your oil and filter before they get dirty helps keep your vehicle running right.

28:37Depending on your driving habits, that could be every three months or 3,000 miles. Changing the oil is the single most important thing you can do for your vehicle. Keep it clean with the top-name brands at low prices from the helpful professional parts people at the O'Reilly Auto Parts store near you. Stop by your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store and pick up a five-quart jug of O'Reilly synthetic motor oil for $22.99. Check your oil regularly between changes and top off when needed with O'Reilly Synthetic Motor Oil, $22.99 per 5-quart jug, only at O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. It might seem hard to lead a healthy life today, but it's easy when you practice the ancient art of on-the-side-ism. Let's start with salad. Just have the ranch, the Roquefort, the Italian, or the Thousand Island on the side. Put the mayo on the side of your turkey sandwich. And leave the butter and sour cream as optional equipment on your baked potato. On-the-side-ism fears no sassy waitress, snooty chef, or emasculating comment from a friend. And it isn't just a way around the menu. It's a way of life. It's a towel. So go ahead. Work those long hours at the office, but make sure to have some playing with the kids on the side. For every hour you're stuck in traffic, make sure you have a minute of bike riding on the side.

30:03Zone out in front of the TV, but go out dancing on the side. It's an easy ideal to practice, but at Kaiser Permanente, we think this mantra of moderation can have big-time results on the way you look, the way you feel, and the way you thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. And this is Ethel Herbert, Your Majesty. Ethel was in charge of catering for today's garden party. We very much enjoyed your cucumber sandwiches. How does one go about making those? Frank's Red Hot Sauce, your majesty. I put that on everything. I say. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. It's aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, chili, even one's cucumber sandwiches. Frank's Red Hot. I put that on everything. Time for breakfast at Chevron Extra Mile for hot Van Hoot coffee and what else? Danish. Then my inner GPS kicks in. Recalculating. Maybe some donuts. Recalculating. Or a juicy Johnsonville sausage. Maybe I'll get one of each. Proceed directly to Chevron Extra Mile. Take a break with a 16-ounce Van Hoot coffee plus any variety of Grandma's cookies for just $1.99 through January 1st. Products sold separately at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy. Extra value. At select Chevron locations.

31:18Jerome's Price Protection. Like layaway, choose your furniture, choose your monthly payments, and we'll lock in the price for one year. Everyone can do it. Buy your furniture with absolutely no interest, no fees, and no credit application. Price Protection, only at Jerome's. This report, it's brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Get three regular tacos for 109. Three tacos, 109 at Del Taco. Every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating. Del Taco restaurants. Some backup here in Escondido on the 15 southbound. It's slow from Valley Parkway to Via Rancho Parkway. Also in El Cajon, Willow Glen Drive at Steel Canyon Road. The traffic control computer is not working, so you can expect some delays. They're completely out in all directions. You know what to do. Treat it like a four-way stop. This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. When you spin, you win. Every Wednesday through November 16th, you could win a share of $300,000 guaranteed cash prizes. One lucky spin will win you a million dollars at Saquon Casino. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

32:33Like 60 of those rings are on her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Were you recently in Memphis, Tennessee, Jay? This is not going to help the redneck reputation in Memphis, Tennessee. Because the cops got a call about a dude barbecuing a raccoon. It was in the parking lot of his apartment complex. I would barf if I saw a guy with, like, raccoon pelt. It tastes like chicken. Does it? Ew. Trash chicken. Yeah. So the cops come by. They want to check things out. When they do, they found a few buckets containing residue.

34:00Of meth. And it turns out they belong to the brother of the guy that was cooking the raccoon. And so he got in some trouble. I'm surprised he was hungry at all. No kidding. Yeah, I'm not kidding. His brother is 26 years old. They share an apartment. And apparently his brother Adam cooked meth while his brother cooked roadkill. And so get... Just a couple of chefs, you know? Yeah. Just appreciate the art of culinary. That's right. Just, you know, hanging out. Let's play a little buzzword. Oh, boy, with this game. It's going to be great today. It's going to be great. M1, A-Dog from Carlsbad. Who do you want? L-O-B. Oh, that's a good choice. Yes, L-O-B. Hang on. Let's see. Sarah from Oceanside. Who do you want? Wood. You got it? Prepare to get hosed. Real good, Sarah. Me too. M1 Mick from El Cajon, you are, in fact... Very lucky. Oh, are you? I'm going to try my best. Dude, I'm going to try. Got a nod. I will do this. I will do this. Will you, dude? All right, let's go. We're playing for lunch for four to Carl's Jr.'s. Try the all-new Steakhouse $6 burger. Great flavors from a steakhouse in a burger. Awesome. Here we go. Wait.

35:30Wait. What is it? Got to explain. Jay's going to give a word. Then he's going to give a clue. And we have to yell out what the answer is. Here we go. Okay, the word. What's the word already? Gosh, darn it. Glad you asked. The word is water. Water. Okay, here we go. There's a big one in Niagara. Waterfall! Let me give it to Mike L. Mike L. Mike L. Mike L. Mike L. Here we go. It removes impurities for drinking. Water filter. L-O-B. Here we go. Simon and Garfunkel. Bridge over triple water. Oh, wow. I'm going to give that to Woods. She goes, better be needed in water. I said like a bridge over triple water. Here we go. Summertime splash bomb. Water park. Water slide. Cannonball water splash.

36:37Cannonball water splash. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Cannonball water splash. Water gun. Summertime splash bomb. Water balloon. There you go, Mikey. Yes. Yes. Water balloon. Are you sure it's not cannonball water splash? That was the next answer. Cannonball water splash. Immediate isolation. Oh, wow. You don't have a winning chance. Fish out of water. No chance of water. Fish out of water. You don't have a winning chance. You're treading water. You're losing water. Three, two, one. Dead in the water. Dead in the freaking water. Idiot. Dead in the water. Come on, people. I hate this word. Me too. A thin creature on shore. Fish out of water. Gosh darn it. Sitting on that one the whole time. Gosh darn it. Oh, no. Was Brooke a backscratcher? Oh, no. Who's backscratcher? Oh, wow. Typical Woods. Typical fat guy. Typical fat guy. You're in deep trouble. Deep water. Hot water. Hot water. I'm not sure who said it first, honestly. I think it was Mikey. We need a new judge.

38:02I'm busy in here. I couldn't hear it. Chris, by the way, just stares at us. Yes. With a vacant look. Maybe he comes in and judges. Why don't you do that? Come in here, judge. Oh, boy. Come in and judge. Come, judge. You guys are giant babies. Chris will be... You've got to back up. Keep my back up. Chris will be... He'll be the deciding judge. We'll vote on him. That is correct. Is the speaker on? Oh, I guess you can just listen to me. Yeah, he can just hear you. He can see in here. Forgot you had ears. He can't hear me, though. Put the headphones on, Chris. Or the speaker. Well, he can get the clue, and he knows if his answer's right or not. Oh, okay. Let's see. The word's water. The word is water. Blues artists are muddy waters! Man, that was Woods. Look at Chris. He looks scared. He does. Chris is afraid. What do you know, Chris? This kid keeps the football players... Waterboy! Gosh darn it. I was distracted! Me too. He does that. I just did it! I got muddy waters too! You're out of order. You just got the last two, you clown. You're all prostitutes. Here we go. She threw a marker at me, by the way. Hey, to be clear, it was just the cap. Well, I threw the whole thing, but the cap fell off. Right. You'll need this.

39:28You'll need this appliance to get hot showers. Hot water heater! Oh, gosh. Dang it! New word, new word, new word, new word, new word. Hurry up! Get it! Pay. Pay? I was still on water. P-A-Y. Water money! Pay. P-Nuttity. Payday! Darn it. P-Nuttity? That's what it says. P-Nuttity candy bar. I bet it doesn't say P-Nuttity, does it? P-E-A-N-U-T-T-Y. That's P-Nuttity. Oh. Isolate. P-Nutity. Immediate isolate on P-Nutity. Please isolate P-Nutity where it will go in the J Hall of Fame. It's a Hall of Fame. P-Nutity. P-Nutity. God, I love him. I love him. Wow. The word is what? Pay. Pay. Pay. Here we go. Dig until you get a... Pay dirt! Gosh darn it. Gosh, what? Fork over a couple of legs. Pay up! Pay up.

40:33Fork over a couple of limbs. I'm in a leg. There you go. S-word. Why? Why? Don't let your mind wander. Pay attention! What if I just scream it into the microphone? Every time somebody says it, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's the word. Yes, I get really mad. Like I'm stoned. Oh, yeah, that's the word. Oh, that's the word. That's right. Stab myself in the eye. Oh, the thing that Lauren just said, I believe, is the right word. All right. What's the word, pay? It's pay. Send the money. Pay it forward. Pay it up. Pay up. Pay off. Before you get the good. Pay your balance. Pay in advance! Pay in advance! What was it? Pay in advance. Why? Oh yeah, I think it's pay in advance. Pay it forward. Okay. Bribery. Pay a bell! What'd you say, Woods? Nothing. You said a made up word. Bribery. Pay off! Payola! There you go.

41:53Here we go. We just have a couple left. All right. Make it worth more than one. Okay, what's the score? The score is Mike, three, Lauren. I'm sorry. Mike, four, Lauren, three, Woods, eight. So these are a couple four-pointers. Yes! Four-pointers. Four-pointers. Yes! Here we go. I'm watching all of you. Kevin Spacey. Pan forward! Oh, I hate that. You stupid, stupid SOB. There is no catching up. There is no catching up. It's over, John. Oh, wow. The kid's got to get 40 points to win. The kid's got to get 40 points to win. Easy, peanut-a-dee. I'm no Cannonball Flash. That's what it's saying. It's exhausting. Exhausting. 40 points. No voice. I'm one Sarah from Oceanside. He fought like a wounded mother wolf. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. Enjoy that Carl's Jr. on me. That's right. For four. You would think it was for your life. For sure. Save her from execution. Yes. Hang on the line, please. Nothing riles us up like buzzwords. Why is it? I don't know. I broke a back scratcher, threw a chair, LLB, hit me with a marker. I took my shirt and pants off.

43:20Jay said peanutity. Chris got married. Chris got married. Peanutity. Peanutity may be one of my favorites. That was so good. We added a couple new ones to the Hall of Fame yesterday, Miguel. Oh, we sure did. Oh, boy, did we. And Jay was none too pleased to have to load them into the system. Yeah. But we were talking about the NFL, and the quarterback for the Steelers is... Ben Rothensbergen. No, that is incorrect. Nope. Oh, wow, he's choking. However, he did know the name, excuse me, of our former Charger coach. And there's Marty Shuttenheimer. Okay, well, then, you know. Just rolls off the tongue. Yeah. So, there you go. He eventually got it. It took a second, but he did eventually get it. I listened to the Rothlandsbergen clip about 50 times yesterday. It's fantastic. This is a milestone that will probably annoy Woods, but ladies and gentlemen, Justin Bieber has set a YouTube record. Most times mistaken for a girl.

44:45That is incorrect. Most dudes slept with it on a weekend. Incorrect. Worst haircut ever viewed. Probably correct, but incorrect. He's got two billion with a B views on YouTube. That's two. See, so he passed the billion mark. Then he went into a billion one million. And then built his way up to. A million. 999 million. And then went to two billion. Two billion. Views. I'm joining a boy band. Dude. Dude. What is it about him? Can you guys name one song? Watch that stupid movie. I'm telling you. Hey, listen. Woods, don't you think that you're like, hey, listen. There's got to be something to this kid. What is it? It's something little kids are in on. He is a good singer. I'm telling you, he really is. I think that movie helped a lot. Because my wife probably YouTubed him 157 times. I'm not kidding when I say I've never heard one of his songs. I don't think I have either. I've never heard one. I can't name one. I can't name one. What's his biggest hit? I don't know. Isn't it like Girl? I think it's called Girl. What's his number one? I don't know. Here's the deal.

46:06When he's not singing one of his songs and he's just singing, you go, gosh, man, that kid's got a good voice. He's got a good voice. You saw the movie. Yeah. So does it show him? singing, playing guitar to another song that we might know, that I might know? When he first got started, yeah, that's what he was doing. His mom put videos of him playing guitar, acoustic, and just singing, and then ushered him up. The usher bit. Hey, I seriously would like to hear his number one song, like his number one hit. Well, let me find it, but I also want to just... It's probably Never Say Never. Isn't that the name of the movie? That's the name of the movie. Maybe your tireless promotion of his movie also helped him reach that two billion mark. He's got a brand new song out today. It's in new releases. He's got a brand new album out, right? Yeah, Mistletoe. I'm not into the music, but I got to admit, you know. His new album's called Camel Toe? Mistletoe. It's an unusual name for an album. And it's insulting and for little girls, Camel Toe. You shouldn't name it that. It's going to require a lot of explanation.

47:14So he's got a Christmas album out, I'm assuming. I'm sure he does. Can't wait. Yo, girl, Silent Night. I wish I could find one of the deals where he sings as a, you know. Oh, I think this is him singing for, yeah. This is him singing, I think, for Usher for the first time. And they videotaped it. I think. I might be wrong. First, an advertisement. So while the advertisement is playing, I will let you hear. This is out today. Yes, the new Bieber. All right, that's fine. That's enough. Now, I'm not into this kind of music, okay? I'll admit it. I'm just saying the kid sings good. Oh. This is not his first stuff when he was trying to get discovered. Oh, boy. Yeah, all that sounds like is the... Little girl stuff. I admit it. That sounds like the little girl stuff. But if you heard him sing, if you heard him sing, like, sitting on the dock of the bay or something, you'd go, man, kids can sing. I mean, you know, all those guys can sing. It doesn't mean that what they sing is good. Like, they can all sing. They'll have a good voice, but their music is garbage. They're styling. Garbage, man. That's garbage.

48:49I grew up with pop music, so as soon as I hear it, I go, I like pop music. But listening to a 14-year-old singing about how he's never going to leave and he's always going to stay, it's too mature and it doesn't make sense. I ain't listening to the words. See, I do. I just like the sound of auto-tune. Somebody could just be like, and I like it. Nicely. No. No. Let's see. M1, Riches from Penasquitos. That song is Baby with Ludacris. I knew it. I love that song. So Ludacris is like a pretty, he's a very well-known rapper, got a lot of street cred. Doesn't that kill him to do a song with Justin Bieber? No. It doesn't. It's making millions. It is amazing. I love him. And what if Ludacris goes, like Usher did, Usher went,

49:41Damn, that little kid's got talent. Well, there's a difference in signing a guy and like, hey, man, I'm going to do a jam with this guy. It'd be almost like Coldplay and Rihanna getting together and doing something. Oh, wait. That actually just happened. Sometimes people just sell out. It'd be like Fonzie jumping over a shark. This is Baby. That's a dude. Something Mariah Carey outtakes. Say that again. The ludicrous part is the best part. Yo, I can't believe I'm rapping with this little kid, but he makes so much money. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did. It's when I was 13, I had my first love. There was nobody that compared to my baby that compared to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was all great. Everything you did there I liked. Thank you. Yeah, and that's Ludacris. Well, then we'll download it. What a fabulous idea! Listen to Ludacris then? Yeah.

50:41Yeah. You lose something, I think. Well, listen. Kids making millions. Two billion. That's insane. Two billion. Carved a pumpkin yesterday. How'd that go? Stunk like fart. Rotten fart. It's the worst. Dave Jake laughed so much when I said that. I said that in my five-year-old. It's five-year-old humor. Oh, yeah. So when we say it, it's five-year-old humor. Yeah. Do you say the fart word? Yeah, I say fart. Is that bad? Well, can he say fart? Yeah. Will they get in trouble at school? Only if he farts and he says, I just farted. We said toot forever. I hate. Should I be saying that? Toot is gross. Toot and the worst. Will they get in trouble? If Jasper says butt at school, he gets in trouble. Yeah, because Jake thinks that poo-poo is real funny, so he's been saying that a lot, and we're telling him, don't say that. You know, you can't say that. Caca. But he thinks it's so funny.

51:37Well, the problem is, it is. That's the problem. It's so hard because you're laughing to him not to say it. The problem with telling your child, don't say poo-poo, is that when you say it, it makes you laugh. He says poo-poo and you're like, Jake, you can't say that, buddy. Actually, say it one more time. Say it one more time. But that's it. I'm going to tape you saying it and then I don't want you to say it anymore. I'm going to YouTube you. Yeah. What's the difference in toot and fart? Toot is disgusting. Toot is hideous. Toot is sex perverted. No, I think toot's cute. Toot. I tooted. It's just obnoxious for a kid because all they want to do is say fart. Fart's a brilliant word. Not when you're in kindergarten. I wasn't allowed to say fart when I was a kid. That's what I'm saying. Until I was like 15. Fart knocker. Jasper now can say it. But that, hey, that's one of the great things about turning 15. Yeah. You finally get to say fart. Fart! Hey mama! She's like, it's all right. Hey, you're good to go. Do you guys remember like toeing the line and trying out like, damn. Oh, yeah. And seeing what would happen. It did not fly with my mom. I couldn't say darn. I cursed like a sailor in front of my parents now. By the way, you remember how I told you that I got at the pumpkin place, they sell all the tools to cut the pumpkin. Well, one of the things that they sold for like five bucks is like a little hand one that has a.

53:01double a battery in it and it you know oh wow carver it's the worst and so next year if anybody is out there in the market and you're getting a pumpkin avoid the little saw that has the battery it is a turd just got stuck oh it doesn't yeah yes yeah for sure it's like this why wouldn't a knife do the job for you well i just thought pumpkins are so tough Oh, boy. Oh, God. I tried the knife. I have jagged edges all over my jack-o'-lantern. I would have appreciated a nice carving edge. You need an exacto. No. It needs to be serrated. I didn't want to take all the time because Jake can't do it. He can't cut the thing. He can't. I mean, he just can't. You know, Rebecca goes, let him stick the little stabber in there that puts the little puncture marks. I go, babe, you try this. It's grown-up parent fight talk on Halloween. It's what your parents do. One's got a camera. This is every Halloween. Mom has a camera. She's wearing half of a costume. Dad isn't wearing a costume, or maybe he's got on a stupid hat, and he's sitting Indian style, and his foot's asleep. And she goes, let him... And he goes, dear, I'm telling you, you can't... I love...

54:20holiday arguments because it's the most ridiculous thing. It's a fun thing, but you're arguing. Arguing at Disneyland. I don't know what to tell you. He doesn't want to wear the mask. Listen, then why did we buy it? Why did we buy the mask? We didn't buy it. I know. You bought it. Well, guess what? It's bought. Put it on him. If he cries, put it on him. Let's switch. No, because it's your thing. You put it on him. Is it my thing? My job is to make the money to buy the mask. You put the mask on. Oh, now it's about that. You put the mask on the child. You put the mask on the child. Okay, I guess we'll have a screaming child so you can get your shot. Well, we're all screaming right now. Oh, this is screaming now. The trick with the pumpkin is just have him draw it with a sharpie and then you cut it out. He did. That's what we do every year. How did the trick-or-treating go? It was too late. It gets dark real late. So I didn't get to go. It doesn't get dark at 6. I thought you were going. No. I thought you said you were going. No. No. It's dark. How was trick-or-treating with Mike's wife later that night? That's great. Well, how was trick-or-treating with Jake? Well, I didn't get to because I had to work. He had to work. Because I remember you said. I worked long hours. Because you said you were going to. I did. I didn't know I had no parents. All right. Somebody just pleaded guilty.

55:36disorderly conduct, and they are very, very famous. I'll tell you who it is. No, he said they're famous. Oh, my bad. He heard. We're also going to play Are They Real or Fake? Great. It's next. It's the official kickoff to San Diego Beer Week this Saturday afternoon at Liberty Station. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts presents the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. This is the ultimate craft beer festival, showcasing all 32 members of the guild drink legendary and award-winning beers. Meet the Brewers, Stone, Ballast Point, Green Flash, Coronado, Alpine, Pork, Carl Strauss, Alesmith, Mission, Lost Abbey, Rock Bottom, Aztec, Automatic, Iron Fist, and more. And rock out all day. Help us celebrate our night. 9th anniversary with two stages of music. Performing on the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. Matthew Sweet. Telekinesis. Stone Foxes. On the local 94.9 stage. The Bloody Hollies. Dead Feather Moon. Family Wagon.

56:52Advanced tickets for the general session are $35. This price includes beer and music. The ticket price will increase the day of, so get them now at FM949SD.com. It's our ninth anniversary and the official kickoff to Beer Week. It's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. See you Saturday. Get your tickets and details at FM949SD.com. Hi, this is LOB, and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation. Hey, Woods. What are you doing in here? What's up? I'm cutting my ovation spot. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm cutting my ovation spot. Are you using ovation? Yes, I'm using ovation. Wait a minute. Are you using the ovation that I gave to your wife? Every single day. Look at you. I know. I want to be able to say, Ella B, that my hair is longer than it's ever been, stronger than it's ever been. I love it. Also, Ella B, I've got the men's formula on order. Oh, they've got a men's formula coming up? They've got a men's formula. It's an awesome, awesome holiday gift idea. Oh, that would be a great gift idea for the ladies to get for their men or guys could just treat themselves. Listen, it's the holiday season.

57:58And you know what's really important? Is your hair looking sharp for these holiday parties? Absolutely. So go to OvationHair.com right now and check it out for yourself. And when you check out, be sure to select FM949 for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Oh, I did not mean to do that. Oh, Jim. Jim, you don't mind me saying so. Your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. Ugh, it's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like, slicing torsos like carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by function drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. Ah, and the spleen is out. Woo! You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I gotta try alternative energy.

58:58Function Alternative Energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function Alternative Energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. I got to tell you about the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em. It is awesome. We have teamed up with Expressly Gourmet, and you can show off your football smarts and win some really cool stuff. If you pick the most right against Mikey, Hillary, me, and the rest of the FM 94.9 jocks, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. What they'll do, they bring restaurants from all over San Diego right to your door. Check out expresslygourmet.com for yourself. Think about it. You get to go head-to-head with me, Hanson, Mikey, Hillary, and show us what you've got, okay? Then you can enjoy some of San Diego's best restaurants. You don't even have to leave your doorstep. Sign up now. Join in the fun of the FM 94.9 pigskin pick'em today at fm949sd.com. If you pick the most right, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet from Expressly Gourmet and FM 94.9. Looking for a quick, delicious lunch? Try Olive Garden's new panini sandwiches.

1:00:17For just $6.95, enjoy a half-pressed panini and pair it with your choice of one of four unlimited homemade soups or fresh salad, both with all the warm breadsticks you want. Choose from three great panini varieties, like grilled chicken caprese or grilled steak and portobello. It's our $6.95 half panini lunch, here for a limited time, weekdays until 4 p.m., only at Olive Garden. There's only one place to go and one name to know when you need the right auto part, NAPA Auto Parts. Sign up at your participating NAPA store for an I get a discount card and make sure you're always getting the best quality parts at the best quality prices. It's what's called NAPA know-how. This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now to get a free lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance. Plus, you can get a quote and your first tow is free. That's right, free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent.

1:01:26Well, we've got some problem here with thick fog in different parts of San Diego, as well as North County, too. El Cajon, Willow Glen Drive at Steel Canyon Road, the traffic signal is completely out. Looks like the power's out in that area, too. So just treat it like a four-way stop. 78 westbound Twin Oaks Valley Road, an attenuator in the middle of traffic. And the 94 westbound, it's very slow right now from Euclid Avenue to 47th. This report brought to you by San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. When it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the Internet. Lauren. I'm not a crier. Woods. I used to drink a lot. And Jay. How about you let me raise my own kid? On FM 94.9. I'm Mikey. It's Mr. Stephen R. Woods. Yeah. The girl with the kombucha. That's Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L-O-B. Our producer is Jay. And our phone screener is Krause. That's Krause. There was a chick in Atlantic City that won $25,000 worth of plastic surgery at the Taj Mahal and opted against it, decided instead to take the payout.

1:03:02Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, if you missed it earlier, you missed a real turd of a game last night. I'm going to tell you all about that in a sec, but first thing I wanted to tell you is that sports is brought to us today by U31. It's North Park's number one bar and grill. Well, 23-20 was the final score last night, and the Chargers were on their way to winning the game when Phillip Rivers fumbled a snap, and it was a rough night. 12 penalties for 105 yards. And they are now in a three-way tie for first place with the Raiders and the Chiefs. If you missed it, this is the botched snap last night. San Diego will try to center the ball. They'll try to put the ball exactly where Nick Novak wants to kick the game-winner from. Oh. Can't be. Kansas City came out with the ball. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. That's going to happen. That can happen. That can happen. Unbelievable. Well, rest easy, Charger fans, because the Green Bay Packers are coming to town on Sunday, 115, here at Qualcomm Stadium. The undefeated Green Bay Packers. Super Bowl champion. Green Bay Packers. Vince Neil, formerly of Motley Crue, pled guilty to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge.

1:04:36Had to pay a $1,000 fine to avoid allegations that he poked his ex-girlfriend in a confrontation last March at a Las Vegas resort lounge. Hmm. With his finger. Oh, okay. $1,000. Yeah. He poked too hard. It's ridiculous. Seems like a frivolous lawsuit. A little bit. He's also kind of a douche nozzle, though. Sounds like a Friday night. That's right. Friday night. Wait, I'm doing my own voice. Are you there, me? Yep. It's me. Okay, just making sure. Still perfect. Love you. I love you, too. Will Ferrell and his acceptance speech getting the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Oh, come on.

1:05:39I want to sincerely thank the Kennedy Center for this prize and the fine folks at PBS for airing this special. I am the 14th recipient of the Mark Twain Prize. And you're probably asking yourself, why did it take so long? Well, for 13 consecutive years, I have been begged by the Kennedy Center to accept this award. And for 13 consecutive years, I have emphatically said no. For years, I had many questions about this Mark Twain. The first being, who is he? It then dawned on me that since I was a small boy, I have thoroughly enjoyed his delicious fried chicken. That's pretty good. That guy's hysterical. He is really funny.

1:06:41All right, let's play Are They Real or Fake? LOB is going to give us facts about her. She's a 30-year-old good-looking blonde girl who once appeared in a promo commercial for the Obama administration when he was running for president. And she's been in a lot of TV commercials, including and not limited to a commercial about getting people to like you. What is it? It's a site where if you have bad reviews about yourself, it's mostly, I guess, for business owners. It kind of... You can help yourself and your business by removing those. Yes. LB didn't even know that's the commercial they were going to put her in. They got stock footage of her. They used it. Filmed it three years ago. Yeah. They go, we need a good looking chick. Let's get a blonde working at a computer. Ah, here we go. Let's use it. And you don't get a taste of that every time. Perfect. Not for lack of trying. I did write the company. That's awesome. Say, hey, that's me. Do you guys. You want to. Is there anything. My way. Yeah, here's my dress. Some shekels. Surprisingly didn't answer. Yeah. L.O.B. Let's play. Are they real or fake? We have to guess whether or not these are real or fake facts about our very own L.O.B.

1:08:03Now, here's what you do. You call and you pick a horse. Me, Woods, or Jay. Who do you think will do the best in LOB knowledge? Who will know LOB the best? 570-1949. And I've missed one. I won one. You've won two. That's right. You did win. We're playing for a pair of tickets to see the Derby Dolls, the San Diego Derby Dolls, this Saturday at the Delmore Fairgrounds. I want to go. We're having them in here, I think. Yeah, we are. They're coming in on Friday. I'm going to step on my foot again. Oh, it was an accident. That hurt so bad. It was an accident. Oh, with the blades on? With the skates on. It was an accident. I know it was an accident. It doesn't mean it didn't hurt. You okay? They're not going to do it again. I'm going to kick you in your balls. It's all right. I'll let you. You need attention. Mikey Show, who do you want? Woods. Woods. Oh, that's a good move. All right, who do you want? Jay? You want Jay or me? Mikey. Okay. And finally, M1 Mick from El Cajon, you've got Jay. Hang on, okay? Thank you. All right, LLB, let's do this. I have them typed out here. All right. Oh, boy. Fact number one. My parents owned a boat called the Weekend Waterbed for two summers that we docked at the Jersey Shore. One more time. My parents owned a boat. It was called the Weekend Waterbed, and we docked it for two summers at the Jersey Shore.

1:09:34Man, that is good if that's not real. But I'm going to say it's fake. Jay. I, too, am going to say it's fake. Wood. That's fake. That's fake. Thank God. The Weekend Waterbed. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. What detail. That was great. That's amazing. The Weekend Waterbed. Weekend Waterbed. It's a good name. All right, I'll be. Junior year in college, my friends convinced me to try out to be the mascot for our college football team. That is true. Jay. I believe it to be true as well. Wood. That's fake. That is fake. Yes! Dang it. So me and Jay were wrong. Gosh darn it, I thought that was true. I should have thought it through. Dang it. I should have thought it through because you would never get inside like a furry costume. I would. If my friends would have dared me, I would have known that they didn't. Man. Okay. When I was in fifth grade, I was the fastest girl in school, and on field day, I actually had boys show up with posters at the 50-meter dash. When you say fast, you're talking about running, right? You creep. The 50-meter dash, that would imply, yeah. Okay, just making sure. I thought that was some weird sex game. I meant sex, Lauren. That is fake. That is true.

1:11:14That's true. That is true. Yeah. Bam. Woods takes the lead. Mike, you're slipping. I know it. You're overthinking it. I'm overthinking it. You're overthinking it. Go with your gut. You dummy. Okay. I accidentally flushed a quarter down the toilet, and I was trying to get it back, and I turned the water off to the toilet. 100% real. Jay? I think it's fake. I, too, think it's fake. It's fake. Yes! I'm mortified. Should I make this one worth a lot? No. There's one more left. Make it a four point. No! Monster. I'll make it a four point. Yeah! Yeah! Okay, I am concentrating. Dang it. I'm using all of my LOB superpowers. Okay. I had to make a speech after I got my wisdom teeth taken out.

1:12:21at the National Honor Society, and I had my hand over the left side of my face for the entire speech. Oh my gosh. You wacky lady. Oh, is that real or fake? Is that real or fake? Read it one more time again, please. I had to make a speech at the National Honor Society, and I had just gotten my wisdom teeth taken out, so I had to put my hand over the left side of my face for the entire speech. That's true. That's real. Jay? That is fake. That's true. That is true. Damn! What happened? What happened? I win. Woods, you win. Finally on the board! Woods, dang you! It's real hot today. Winning games real good. Yeah, man. Slinging out Carl's Jr. and Derby doll tickets on the reg. M145 from Oceanside Woods. Whatever. Knew his L-O-B. Mike, you were a little off. Little? Little.

1:13:25I don't think I got like two right. You did get two out of five. Gosh. Hang on the line. No acceptable. I brought in some candy today. A lot of candy. I don't know if we didn't have any trick-or-treaters or if Rebecca overbought. All I know is we've got a lot of candy. And L.O.B. is starting her first day of like really watching her intake. Detox. Yes. Woods and I are not doing that. Nope. L.O.B., did you wear another different costume on? I did. Oh, wow. That was costume number five. Oh, my gosh. For 2011. Holy cow. It's her fifth costume. Who knew? Yeah, it wasn't exactly much of a costume. I wore a silver shirt, an orange wig, and orange wings. Elton John. Yeah.

1:14:24She went as Elton John Buffalo Bill. Yes, I should have. I should have worn giant sunglasses. Yeah. Yeah, and we went down to the downtown Encinitas. Had like a safe trick-or-treating thing. I heard that's legit down there. It was really fun. It was really fun. Where is it? It's downtown Encinitas. And Matt decided to be the groom. He does this at least like one part of the hall. the Halloween festivity every year. He wears a Grim Reaper costume, and it has a screen, like a black screen over the face. Oh, boy. And he wears black gloves, black shoes, black pants, so you can't see any of his skin or anything. And people get really creeped out. That's creepy. Yeah, and we were walking down there. He walked... through the little crosswalk and I let him go a little bit ahead of me to act like I was scared of him too. People were just freaking out. So he walks all slow, stops, does like an about face turn. Oh, get it. This guy, it was like a SUV of a guy, his wife and three kids in the back. The dad driving. He went, woo! It's the worst. Throw his hands up in the air. Woo! And his wife was laughing at him. Yeah. I was like, mad! There is nothing you can do. Woo!

1:15:36You look completely dumb. Yep. Gosh, darling. I was like, you know you're going to see that guy down there. He's going to knock you out and say, you ever make me look like that in front of my kid? Yeah. Your wife laughing at you. And then apparently he walked by the window of a bar and did it to someone, and it ended up being one of our M1s, M1 Joel. Wow. What a fabulous idea. So you walk through it or you drive through it? It's all walkable. The kids go to the stores and get candy from the stores instead of going door to door at the houses. Well, I'm worried. We have really tightened our budget and I wanted to cater Thanksgiving. But we've been tightening our budget. So I don't think I can cater to Thanksgiving. And I don't want to cook a turkey. I don't want anything to do with it. Why not? Oh, bro. So good. For me, all I want is...

1:16:35To hang with my family. You can. Yeah. You can. It's so easy. No. What's the hard part? Well, because there's a lot of things to cook, and you're very busy. That's all you're doing is cooking. The turkey's the easy part. Yeah. You plan ahead, though. If you get things going a couple days before, then you'll be okay. That's disgusting. It's not disgusting. You do the mashed potatoes. That's disgusting. You do the stuff. Two-day-old mashed potatoes and stuff. Delicious. Peel them two days before, and if you soak them in water, it's actually better. They'll make the mash easier. Yeah. stuff like a sous chef would do. Okay, you get it all prepared. Why don't you just hire some people to help you prep? But it would be cheaper. That's disgusting. It's not disgusting. You don't have to make everything they love. Hey, guys, look. It's leftovers for dinner. I've never seen anybody making a pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving Day. They bring it over. It's been made. Oh, yeah. I'm fine with buying some stuff, but I'm not going to make... I'm not going to say... Who wants to eat two-day leftover mashed potatoes? No, you prep it before you actually put it in the oven. Who else coming to you Thanksgiving? Don't know yet. Well, then what you do is you assign out. It's like, hey, here are the main things we want to have. You're going to be in charge of the squash, whatever. Why don't I just make it everybody's in charge of something except for me? Potluck, you do the turkey. You do the turkeys. Throw them on the barbecue pit. That's very acceptable. Man, that's legit. Fry it is the way to do it. No, do it on the barbecue pit. I do have one problem. I think I even told you this last year. I have one problem. What is it? I know she's probably listening, and I don't mean to offend her. Oh, boy, I remember. I know.

1:18:05Oh, boy. My mother-in-law. Oh, boy. The oysters. Oysters. Yeah, she likes oysters. Well, don't eat them. What does she like? Oysters. Yeah, she does. She likes oyster stuffing. Oysters. Gosh, it sounds so good. Will you bring me some? Sorry, Mom. We love you. We love you. Mama Jean. I love you so much. Mama Jean. I love you so much. We love you. You're such an angel. Your best grandmother in the world. My wife is going to kill me. What are the best, Jay? Oysters. Oysters. What was it? Oysters. Oysters. What's the clip and what's real? Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters.

1:19:05Stop. Oysters. Stop it. You know what? Everybody listening is going to get screwed up. Everybody listening is going to get screwed up, and they're going to say it. The next time they go, they're going to get, yeah, I'll take an Oysters Rockefeller, please. Somebody say it right. Excuse me? Oysters. Oysters. I don't hear it. What is it? By the way, he's rubbing off on all of us. We're all doing it. Damn mush mouth now. Yeah, I will say. I said shot fudge sundae the other day. I couldn't say irreconcilable. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. I do it now. I do it now. Language herpes. He's spreading everything. Ashton Kutcher. Who? I boned Ashton Kutcher. What's the thing where the running back throws it back to the quarterback? A flea flicker. What do you call like, you know, in the prison, not the people that are secluded. Oh, you must mean. Yes, yes, yes. You must mean when they put them in the it's the jail. Help us with it. It's the general. The general. Where is it? Oh, where are you? Here it is. Hopefully she gets put in the general general populace, whatever it's called. General.

1:20:18Populous. There I got it now. There I got it now. It's the greatest part of that. General Populous. Get away from me. I guess it's a reverberate. I will tell you this. I'm doing it now. Anyway, so Mama Jean, she enjoys oyster stuffing. She's the only one. I think I would like it. It would be good with maybe served with seafood or like in the summertime. With turkey, I just don't get it. I can't wait. Sorry, Mama Jean. It's a tradition. If anybody's listening and you've had stuffing or that's a tradition for you, let us know because I want to know where it came from. I know when it would be good, actually. When? If you've been in a Thai prison for 6,000 days and you haven't eaten anything. You'd be like, all right, I'll take some oysters. I respectfully disagree. No. I respectfully say that even in a Thai prison and all you've had is rodents to eat. Somebody brings you a piping hot homemade thing of oysters. Stuffing. And you go, I'm good. I'm good. I'm still okay. I feel like I know when it would be good. When? If someone was like, all right, you have to have this catfish casserole complete with whiskers or...

1:21:37The oyster stuffing. Okay, fine. I'll have the oyster. I'll eat the oyster stuffing. I'll eat the oyster stuffing. Mikey Show, hello. Yeah, I wanted to know if Mikey was serious about catering Thanksgiving. Last year, we had a restaurant that make, that's what they do. They'll make a turkey. It was the greatest thing ever. It was delicious. Ever. And we had people in here. We had people in here that do it. It was like, dude, for a family of 10, it was like 400 bucks. Yeah, I did Wild Time last year. They did it on my house, too, and it was freaking delicious. But it's expensive. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for my next tank of gas to get my kids to school, and you're talking about catering Thanksgiving. Yes, well, I tell you what, buddy. I will... I'm actually thinking of swimming out as far as I possibly can until I can't swim back any further. Cool, man. That's not a good idea. And I will make you a deal. There's no deal. No, I'm going to make you a deal. Where do you live? So bad. Where do you live? Ocean Beach. What do you do? I'm just nine months ago found out I had MS and I'm on the cusp of just financial destruction with bills from medical like you can't imagine. Are you working?

1:23:07No, I can't. I can't work. I can barely drive. They just took my license because of my vision. It sounds like you're driving right now. No, I'm sitting in a parking lot here looking at the ocean. You're sitting there? Yeah, I'm looking at the surf. Well, there's no surf today. It's small. Well, but what are you listening to the radio on? I was listening right now in the car. In the car. In the car. So you can't drive. So in addition to lying to me, you're saying, oh yeah, I can't drive. In addition to lying to me, you're also sitting in a car looking at the ocean. Now listen, I'll offer to buy you tanks of gas. If you come down here, I will buy you three tanks of gas. I'll throw in two. Yeah, so will LOB.

1:24:04I don't need. Dude, it isn't charity. I was going to give it to you out of the kindness of my heart. But listen, there are people that make a lot of money, more money than I do. It isn't about the money. See, money doesn't make you a villain. What makes you a villain is what you do with it. And what's in your heart. And what's in your heart. And here's the deal. Here's the deal. You have no idea what I do with my money. Right. You have no idea. And I'm not going to tell you what I do with it. You don't talk about it. I'm not going to tell you what I do with it. But you have no idea. So just like you have, just like I have no right to judge you, you have no right to judge me. You have no right. I'm not judging you. Yes, you are. Straight up. You are by definition judging me because you are on hard times and because, wait a minute, wait a minute, because you're on hard times, you say that somebody that isn't on hard times, you're villainizing them.

1:25:04For wanting catering Thanksgiving. Yes. Okay, wait, wait. Now, as opposed to what? Yeah. I'm not. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not flaunting it. Well, that's why anybody gets catering. Yeah, I'm not flaunting it. That's why anybody eats out at a freaking restaurant. Yes. And in truth, it actually ends up being about the same. I am a believer, and I used to run a youth group, and this is where my turn kind of happened. One time I took kids off the street in OB and then all of a sudden the elders of the church went, oh, well, hey, guess what? We have no money for the youth group. And I went, wait a minute. How do you not have money for the youth group? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Why are you telling me this story? Because you're talking about money isn't everything. Money happens. No, I didn't say money isn't everything. What I said was you have no idea what I do with my money. So don't judge me.

1:26:04That's not right, bro. I apologize. I apologize, too. I shouldn't have said that you're lying when you're sitting in a car. That was wrong. I love you. And I really would help you. If you came down here, we'd all chip in to help you out. I mean, we have giving hearts. That's who we are. I used to do the same thing, and I used to feel the same way. All right, cool. Then we're in the same mindset. And that will teach me to not answer a phone call without screening it first. Holy cow. I'm sorry that we were going to cater the... Looks like you're cooking now, pal. Yeah, I guess so. You're being guilted in the cooking, brother. I guess so. We had a story. Listen to this. There is a female teacher in Louisville, Kentucky. Middle school teacher. She's getting sued for throwing a chair at a student. What? Now, the lawsuit's been filed already. The lady's name is Tracy Sloan, and she lost her temper last year, and she threw two chairs. Who's the meanest teacher you had? 570-1949. We all remember the meanest teacher we had. 570-1949. I always have to look my sexiest.

1:27:40That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. For the show, 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. FM. The comedies of Fox Tuesday are all new and bigger than ever. Ain't no thing. Ain't no thing. First, it's the new Glee event filled with music. Mayhem. I am literally horny with fear. And a must-see kiss that's truly scandalous. Oh, man, this is trouble. Yeah, Zooey Deschanel returns in an all-new episode of New Girl. So fun, hanging with the dudes, watching scary movies. Have you guys ever seen Fame? All right. Wait, where are you guys going? Followed by a new raising hope. Awesome. It all starts with a new Glee event. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Innovation. It makes things better. Like Fox 5 News. Imaginative morning 5, 6, and 10 p.m. news. On earlier. Doing more. Always live from San Diego. All of it delivered by the most engaging team in San Diego. Take a look at the Fox 5 News. M1 Brock is on the line. Are you there, Brock? I'm here, Mikey. How's it going, man? Good, dude. You switched to AIS? I did. I switched a few years ago when I was looking to the other station.

1:29:06And I saved a thousand dollars. And just in the past few months, I called them back and they saved me another almost 500 bucks. That's a great point. And the reason that's a great point is because I am constantly beating the drum to listeners and saying, I know you've heard me say this and you haven't done it yet. And yet. I haven't called AIS back to see if they could save me even more money, which they probably can. And people can do that. You can call them again and say, hey, can you do better for me now? And you have done that and have saved even more money by calling AIS back. But you are a very good example, Brock, of people that can save money by switching. Yeah, it helps out a bunch. It's perfect. Give him a call right now. 1-800-777-4AIS. 1-800-777-4247. Thank you, Brock. I appreciate it, bro. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football.

1:30:09Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me. What's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered in tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib.

1:31:26Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79, only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers, and at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why. This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular, quality, brand-name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahikam, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range. This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Come in now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa, Plaza Camino Real in Carlsbad, San Marcos, El Cajon, Chula Vista, Midway Drive, and bootworld.com.

1:32:34Why, Ethel, I've never seen a bingo night like this. Ooh, check out Norman breakdancing. I didn't even know he could walk. Go, Norman, go, go, go. What's gotten into everyone? I spiked the punch. With what? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, fries, sausage, chili, and it'll liven up any party. Frank's Red Hot sauce. I put that s*** on everything. On everything. They say it's better to give than to receive. Well, at Navy Federal, we found a way to do both. With our new Navy Federal Visa Cash Rewards credit card, you can buy something nice for someone else and get cash back to spend smartly however you choose. And with low rates, no caps on the amount of rewards received, and no expiration on rewards, you get the most out of every dollar you spend. So now you can give a little and receive a lot with rewards that really add up. To find out more, visit NavyFederal.org. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details.

1:33:49This report, it's brought to you by Thermacare. For joint or arthritis pain, try Thermacare in the red box. Just one Thermacare provides all-day arthritis pain relief, soothes your joints, improves flexibility, and gets you moving once again. Well, if we could only help the traffic move, that would be really good because it's slow in Encinitas. The 5 southbound is pretty backed up from Palomar Airport Road to Manchester Avenue. Escondido's got delays here on the 15 southbound from the 78 to Villa Rancho Parkway. That thick fog in San Diego isn't helping a whole lot. It's pretty thick all the way through North County. And Willow Glen Drive, Steel Canyon Road, traffic signals are completely out. Looks like there's a power outage in the area. Just treat those like a four-way stop. This report brought to you by Check Indicator. cash. Check into cash will guarantee the lowest rate on title loans. If you've got another loan, check into cash will help you buy it back. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lenders Law License. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bert from Bert Sershed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning being brought to you by Wind and Sea Surf Club celebrating their 50th.

1:35:02anniversary, upcoming year of the formation of the club. Going to be a big blow up at the bird search this Saturday, open to the public to celebrate that. So stop by, check it out. Good time to be had. Surf-wise today, it's on the rise. A little bit of a northwester out there filling in. Watch some secondary southwest crossing that up. Looking at surf up a notch or two from yesterday, running in that knee to waist. high zone, maybe a few pluses than that on occasion on average. Top spots, though, seeing a few chest outweighs already. We do expect that swell to fill in a little bit more throughout the morning, as will the tide. So look for some improvement as the day continues. Looking at the overcast skies right now, some fog off the immediate coastline, light and variable winds not really affecting surface textures too much. Beach breaks look to be your better bet with some broken up lines. Reef breaks at the lower tides could have some pop-up peaks as well. Water temps still in that lower 60-degree range. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For surfboard repair, restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down at Marina Boulevard and ask for the bird deal. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program.

1:36:20I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Word of the day is elevator. So when you hear me work that into a sentence between now and ten, caller number nine, pair of tickets to see City in Color November 8th at the House of Blues. So who was your meanest teacher? For me, It was this blonde woman, sixth grade. She was really mean. And if you mispronounced a word, like J. Oh, dude, you would be a dead man, J. She was the cruelest, meanest lady. Wait till you hear Woodses. Woodses is insane. Shocking. M1 Leilani from San Diego.

1:37:36Hey, I had a teacher in fifth grade. Her name was Miss Gross, and she broke a ruler over a kid's desk. Not only that, but she looked like the evil teacher from Miss Nelson is sick. I don't know what that is. You always remember Miss Gross. You remember her breaking the ruler real good. And she got replaced by Miss Cross at a Catholic school. Cross. Miss Cross. Ella B., what about you? Mrs. Sullivan, my sixth grade teacher. Sixth grade? That's like the age, man. I think because my sister's going to school right now to be a middle school teacher. She said it's all about discipline because the kids are all over the place. She gave me 13 detentions. Holy cow. 13. For what? She would give detentions if any part of your book was showing through the book cover. Oh, God. She would pick up your binder. She had a lot of rules. She'd pick up your binder and shake it, and she would call it stuffola. If anything fell out, it was called stuffola, and for every piece of stuffola, you would get a detention. I can't stand her already. I can't stand her. If you walked in a second late detention. Oh, wow. Needless to say, I got good at forging my mom's signature because you had to.

1:38:55get your thing signed every time you get a detention. And after, like, ten detentions, I was like, oh, my God. I'm going to get killed. I'm going to get murdered. Yeah, what are you going to do? Let's see. M1 Poston from San Diego. Yeah, this was in 12th grade, right before I graduated. I had an English teacher. Her name was Mish Poshnik. And she had a vendetta against me. And, like, because I would do equal work to the kids, but everybody else would get an A and I would get an F. And I would sit there and ask her, like, why did I get an F? if I did the same paper they did and spelled the same guy. And she'd say, no, you didn't do it right. And I would compare my papers. I'm like, I hit all the same criteria. What are you talking about? You're crazy. And she finally pissed me off so bad one day in class that I got up and I was standing next to the whiteboard trying to talk to her in front of the class. And everyone, like, you know how all the kids, because we're all older, we're in 12th grade, so they're all sitting there getting all wild and riled up because I was getting pissed off. And then she was like...

1:39:56She told me to shut up, and I got so mad that I punched her whiteboard, and I sent a giant crap down it and fractured my pinky knuckle. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. And probably really freaked her out. Oh, yeah. And to top it off, I was wearing black tights, a tutu, and fairy wings because we had just played dodgeball earlier that morning at our school competition. Yeah. Was that the outfit that you wear for the dodgeball? Skate dodgeball. Yeah. Gay Dodgeball Day. Well, we've all had it. You silly sausage. Tiny, I don't know what you're saying. M1 Randy from San Diego. Actually, it's M1 Check Your Reality, formerly known as P1 Reality Check. There you go. I like it. Go ahead. Well, my teacher's name was Jim Kelly. He actually works for the Grossmont Union Council now. He used to be my science and PE teacher.

1:40:56Okay, it was a Christian school. First off, the name of the school was called Bible Missionary Fellowship Independent Christian Day School. Okay. It's quite a name. Yeah. Oh, yeah. BMF for short. You can, you know, take your pick of what you want to call it. Boyfriend Matt Commerce. Yes, Boyfriend Matt Commerce. Church of Matt. Anyway, so during PE, okay, I too am a heavy guy. I too. I too. I too am a heavy guy. I too am a heavy guy. Excuse me? Go ahead. I used to be 350 pounds, and during PE, we used to have to run five miles each time. Well, I couldn't make it. Hell no. So because I couldn't make it, he used to call it a meeting with destiny. Now, this was a Christian school, so they believed in SWATs. Well, if you couldn't make it during PE, after PE, you would have to get a SWAT. Every time. My ass would be black and blue. Every single time. Every time. Every time. Every time. For four years, I got squats at least once a day. Oh, my God. Once a day? For not running five miles. Did you ever run the five miles? No, I would get heat exhaustion a lot of times.

1:42:12And they would tell me to suck it up because he had like a... L.O.B. just rolled her eyes as if to say the heat exhaustion bit. Heat exhaustion. That's a big guy. He couldn't run that far. 250 pounds and you got to run with long... Because remember, this was a Christian school. Conservative. No short shorts. No short sleeve shirts. Everything was long sleeve. You had to wear long sleeve sweats. And long sleeve pants. That's how Mikey makes me come to work every day. Yeah, it's true. How dare you. You get swats for not being able to run five months. Get that fatty some mud flaps. Big old jiggly fatty butt. You'd think after four years. Yeah, you'd figure it out. No, you'd think they'd be like, all right, give this guy a break. No, after four years, I would figure it out. I would. I mean, I don't want to swat. I'd take a swat over running five miles. Woods, tell your deal. Father Noel, Holy Cross College. This is college. Yeah. Mind you. It's a priest. And he was about 176 years old. And we had a, he was our, it was some sort of math. I think it was algebra in college. And so I'm taking my test and my head's down and I'm taking my test and he goes, Woods, quit talking.

1:43:40during this test. And I go, what? And he goes, you keep your mouth shut and keep your eyes on your own paper. And I'm like, I looked around. I'm like, me? You talking to me? And he's on my mother. I was just taking my test. I was good at algebra. And he goes, you know, I've had a problem with you and your smart mouth all year or something. And he goes, get out of here. You're done. It was a final. Right. And I go, no, I didn't do anything, first of all. And you know me. You put me on the defense and the kid's going to come out swinging. Oh, no. And, dude, we got into it verbally. Who fights with a priest? I do. Well, I'm not Catholic. What do I care? Woods fights with a priest. Yeah, and I told him to F off as I was leaving class. Oh, my gosh. That must have gone over well. F you or F off. Did you go to confession after that? No, I'm not Catholic. I didn't care. So what was the punishment? He sent me to the administrator's office, and I pled my case. Guantanamo. Yeah. I pled my case and was like, you know, I go, listen, it's the last day. Obviously, it's final. Let me take this and move on because this guy's a douche. They're like, you do realize you told him to F off. Yeah, I apologize for that. And I apologize to him for that. You did? Yeah, of course. Did he accept it? Yes. Well, he said he did. He's a priest. Yeah, he's a priest. What's he supposed to do? Wow. Then he tried to make love to me. I'm just kidding. That's such a creepy thing. Very gentle.

1:45:06You know, trick-or-treating needs to have a cutoff. Jay was talking about the kids, and I say in finger quotes, kids. They weren't kids. How old? They were like in their 20s. Oh, come on with that. No way. Yeah, they were 18. No, I'm lying. I don't want 18-year-olds. Big kids, no costume. No costume. Backpacks for candy. If you don't have a costume, I don't care if you're four. You don't get any. Yeah. Yeah, well, I think you feel weird because you don't want them to, like, be destructive. Well, they are anyway. Yeah. You know, they weren't destructive. They just were. Actually, I saw them take the. Our neighbor put a whole bowl of candy out, and I saw them just dump the whole bowl in their backpack. And first off, I confronted them. I'm like, hey. That's not cool. It was me. I'm sorry. That's not cool. I was starving. Take one piece. Oh, my gosh. Did they give it back? Yeah. Oh, wow. Did they ever call people out? Well, dude. I would. That's so messed up. And then when they came through the haunted house, I scared the hell out of them. Is there footage of your haunted house? Because I've been hearing about it. There's just a video I did before anything. It's during the daytime. I just walked through it. It's pretty great, though. With Jasper as the tour guide. Yes. He was supposed to give me commentary, but he's just like, there.

1:46:27He said, come on. Oh, my gosh. It's insane. Can you imagine what he would do to scare you? Yeah, he would scare the crap out of me. I saw, I mean, just during the day, it looked scary to me. There was an arm that moved. There was a compressor that air shot out of. Oh, my gosh. I had an identical Mikey's house. Yeah, exactly. Maddie's boyfriend was hot. He was sitting in a chair like a dead guy. Oh, my gosh. So you'd walk by him. He'd let a few people go, and all of a sudden, he'd come alive. Oh, my gosh. I took a Tootsie Roll last night. from the, there was a cauldron outside of one of the businesses and the woman was obviously giving it to the kids and I said, may I? And I took a tootsie roll and there was like 400 in there. She looked at me like, really? If you must. If you must. Oh my gosh. And then Matt went over and I go, did you kind of? He goes, oh, like she wanted to eat my hand off? I'm like, yeah, I got like a, if you must. There's four, there's a giant cauldron. It's eight o'clock and there's a cauldron. It's one Tootsie Roll. It's a Tootsie Roll. And I had a costume on. She's got 80 pounds of Tootsie Roll left today. Tootsie Roll, baby. If you must. All right, take a listen to this. Tell me where you stand on it.

1:47:40Mikey, I'm in college, and to make a little extra money, I babysit for a family who has a seven-year-old daughter. The other night, the little girl asked me why mommy sleeps upstairs and daddy sleeps downstairs. I honestly didn't know what to say, so I told her that her mom must think it's more comfortable to sleep upstairs while her dad prefers the bed downstairs. It's weird because I didn't even know the couple was having problems, but since their daughter brought it up, I feel like I should tell one of them she asked about it. Aren't they? Are they? Maybe he snores. Yeah. You don't send him to a different room. Yeah, you do. No, really? Jamie goes and sleeps in the other room when I snore really bad. It's important to get a good night's sleep. But every night? She says, should I mention to one of the parents that their daughter asked why they sleep in separate beds or... Should I just let it go? M1 Kim. If it were me, I would say to the kid, I don't know. Ask your mom. Ask your mom. Ask your mom or ask your dad. You know? Because the truth is, is that she doesn't know why. She's assuming that it's problems, but who knows? She's got to have the Jimmy legs, man. You know? Woodsy says he's got a Jimmy leg. Oh, I got the Jimmy legs like crazy. You twitch your legs. Makes my wife nuts. Yeah. She has some audio of me snoring this weekend that would...

1:49:01it would deafen you. Deafen. And it's... Send it, Jamie. Yeah. Email it over. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Well, I don't kick my wife out of bed. I mean, you got to put up with it. You're married. You can get a good night sleep. Exactly. You're married. Well, what are you going to do? What are you, Lucy and Desi? You're going to sleep in separate beds? A lifetime of bad sleep? They were on to something. Earplugs. Lucy and Desi. Cut years off your life. Lucy and Desi were on to something. Maybe Woods is right. Were Lucy and Desi on to something, maybe? My grandparents slept in separate beds. Separate beds in the same room? Mm-hmm. Now, separate rooms? Separate rooms is weird. Separate beds, and if you want hanky-panky, you get in the same bed. What do you do, though? They had two twin-size beds. That's terrible. Why would you want to be in a separate bed? Because one of you kicks. You want a good night's sleep. I like it. I thrash in my sleep. I punch Jamie. I've elbowed her in the face. Way more room in a separate bed. Accidental encounters in the middle of the night. Accidental encounters. Yeah, you all of a sudden don't mean anything and all of a sudden, next thing. You all of a sudden don't mean anything. Yeah, you just wake up and you're all of a sudden engaged. You all of a sudden don't mean anything. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. You're poor children.

1:50:21Engaged. Yeah, you're... Engaged. I got missile lock. I got missile lock. Engaged, Captain. Firing. Poor Kim. Yeah, she's being accosted. It's 2 a.m. Hey, I'm not the only one. Leave me alone. I'm not the only one accosting. Quit engaging. Good morning. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. I'm just saying. You don't even have to move. I don't want to... Stop, stop. Oh, gosh. Stop. Nestle Command, we have a launch. We were engaged in activity. Sex, Lauren, sex. I know, I know, I know. Making sex to her. We got engaged because one night I accidentally got engaged. And I thought, well, I'll do this. Might as well go through with it. I bought the cow. I'm sure she enjoys that. M1 Anonymous from San Diego.

1:51:21Good morning, Mikey Show. How are you? Good. How are you doing? Oh, I'm doing good. Hey, it happens more than you think, actually. There's, you know, certain circumstances. I mean, I love my kids and wife, and for some reason, she doesn't like my phone as my alarm. It just vibrates to wake me up. It wakes her up at like 5 in the morning, so she just tells me, hey, during the week, you know, if you can sleep with one of the boys or something. Oh, wow. Yeah. If my wife said that, I'd say good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I did say that, actually. And what happened? Didn't go over well. Yeah, well, just, well. Yeah, didn't go over well. No, I ended up just sleeping in there, and, you know, she's just got to deal with it. I actually went with the wife, so. I think Woods had a brilliant comment there when he said, were Lucy and Desi on to something? Is there anything wrong?

1:52:18With sleeping in separate beds. If you're in the same room. When does the whoopee happen? Then you have to make appointments for it. You don't have to make an appointment. Yeah, you do. You get rascally. Everyone knows it happens by accident. Like, oh, okay. More times than that. Well. I guess we know what Lauren's up to. I'm not married. I'm just speculating. You deviant. You're a sexual deviant. You're a sexual deviant? You're a perv? No. You're a J. I get engaged. Get engaged. Name three judges from an American Idol. The reason they had separate beds was because back in that time they could not show them in the same bed. Yeah, but I believe that they did that. I believe people did that. I read an article. This is going to get you. I read an article about a couple in Seattle. They've been married for 30 some odd years. Beautiful relationship. They're in love. They've got kids. The kids have moved away. They live in separate homes on the same street. He will go down to dinner. They will have dinner. They will make love. They will drink wine. He will then retire to his separate.

1:53:20Abode. Which is a different house. It's a different home on the same street, same neighborhood. Why would you do that? Because they found that their love is more when they don't spend as much time together. The proof is in the pudding. 30 years of marriage, kids. They have separate lives, but they're married and they're together. But they sleep separately. He reads at night. He stays up late. She goes to bed early. His mistress comes over and she leaves. Her boyfriend comes over. And then he leaves. But no, no. I mean, 30 years together. Their marriage is based on their kids. It's weird, dude. I couldn't do it. And I think it's weird. Shenanigans. But it works for them. I'm calling BS. Seven billion people in the world. They're the one couple that does it. The only couple we've heard about. I'm calling BS on them. They're up. You don't know that one. I know a guy who had a house downtown because he –

1:54:11When he went to watch ball games down there, he wanted to have his own apartment. That's to sleep with co-eds. Yeah, it's disgusting. Bottle service girls. Yeah, bottle service girls. It's to sleep with blonde girls that work at the bar across the street. Yeah, at the Tilted Kilt. Yeah, at the Tilted Kilt. He goes to Padre Games, goes to the Kilt, back to his apartment. Shows off his bachelor pad. Yes, and says to his wife that he's very tired. Very hammered. I can't drive on. Listen, I can't drive on. What federal agency maintains the U.S. border of the country? Canadian border. You see, babe, I have to stay here tonight. What is the name of the movement that has protesters down at City Hall? I don't know, darling. Just stay there. Just sleep there. We have a rule in my house that there's never any sleeping out. You can go out, have a great time. You can drink as much as you want, take a cab home. No spending the night out. No spending the night out. Never spend the night out. That's a losing proposition. Yep. You spend the night out? No way. I used to when we were dating. Well, yeah. I mean, that's just a given, though, isn't it? Well, but here's the deal. Let's say your wife goes out for a girls' night, and they're all down at Judy's apartment. They're coming home. Maybe. Maybe. What? But that's our rule. We got a hotel room because everybody was just too drunk. Well, no. You come home. Yeah. You get your ass home. Well, yeah. Well, I think so. I do. That's the rule. Yeah. It's a good rule. In my marriage. Oh.

1:55:34How dare you? How dare? Well, maybe you can institute that rule if you ever. If I ever. If you ever. If somebody pulls the trigger. It'll happen. I'm going to tell you this. What I'm going to tell you when we come back isn't going to change anything from my behavior, but I'm going to tell you what a McRib is made of. And it isn't going to change a thing for me, but it's going to change some stuff for a lot of people because it's filthy. But it's so good. The Mikey Show? Text them 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The countdown has begun. Only four days to go.

1:56:28It's the official kickoff to San Diego Beer Week. This Saturday afternoon at Liberty Station. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts presents the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. This is the ultimate craft beer festival. Showcasing all 32 members of the guild drink legendary and award-winning beers. Meet the Brewers. Stone. Ballast Point. Green Flash. Coronado. Alpine. Pork. Carl Strauss. Alesmith. Mission. Lost Abbey. Rock Bottom. Aztec. Automatic. Iron Fist. And more. And rock out all day. Help us celebrate our night. 9th anniversary with two stages of music. Performing on the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. Matthew Sweet. Telekinesis. Stone Foxes. On the local 94.9 stage. The Bloody Hollies. Dead Feather Moon. Family Wagon. Advanced tickets for the general session are $35. This price includes beer and music. The ticket price will increase the day of, so get them now at FM949SD.com. It's our ninth anniversary and the official kickoff to Beer Week. It's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. See you Saturday. Get your tickets and details at FM949SD.com. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation.

1:57:41Hey, Woods. What are you doing in here? What's up? I'm cutting my ovation spot. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm cutting my ovation spot. Are you using ovation? Yes, I'm using ovation. Wait a minute. Are you using the ovation that I gave to your wife? Every single day. Look at you. I know. I want to be able to say, Ella B, that my hair is longer than it's ever been. Stronger than it's ever been. I love it. Also, Ella B., I've got the men's formula on order. Oh, they've got a men's formula coming up? They've got a men's formula. It's an awesome, awesome holiday gift idea. Oh, that would be a great gift idea for the ladies to get for their men or guys could just treat themselves. Listen, it's the holiday season. And you know what's really important? Is your hair looking sharp for these holiday parties? Absolutely. So go to OvationHair.com right now and check it out for yourself. And when you check out, be sure to select FM949 for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Welcome to the Backsliders Club, the negative space in our heads we've reserved for our weak-willed moments.

1:58:48Here we can spiral down into our feelings of failure and defeat in total comfort. Look around. Hey, there's your sister-in-law who does everything right. Over there, that woman from the gym who's so together. And next to her, why, that's your personal trainer. The truth is, we all land here once in a while, whether you're trying to eat better, quit smoking, or lose weight. The secret is not to stay. Kaiser Permanente reminds you that change happens one choice at a time. And one trip to the Backsliders Club doesn't make you a loser. It just makes you human. At Kaiser Permanente, we've got ways to help you stay out of here or at least keep you from becoming a regular. Kaiser Permanente. We want you to get up, get down, and thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. It's the best week ever at HalfPriceSanDiego.com with 50% off to GTM Discount General stores with locations in Santee and Lemon Grove. GTM was voted San Diego's number one discount store, saving you up to 30% to 70% off quality brand-named items. GTM buys overstocks, closeouts, and discounted national brand merchandise from large chain retailers and resells them to you for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949.

2:00:05at checkout for your special introductory discount. Welcome to the Backsliders Club, the negative space in our heads we've reserved for our weak-willed moments. Here we can spiral down into our feelings of failure and defeat in total comfort. Look around. Hey, there's your sister-in-law who does everything right. Over there, that woman from the gym who's so together. And next to her, why, that's your personal trainer. The truth is, we all land here once in a while, whether you're trying to eat better, quit smoking, or lose weight. The secret is not to stay. Kaiser Permanente reminds you that change happens one choice at a time, and one trip to the Backsliders Club doesn't make you a loser. It just makes you human. At Kaiser Permanente, we've got ways to help you stay out of here or at least keep you from becoming a regular. Kaiser Permanente. We want you to get up, get down and thrive.

2:01:05Visit kp.org slash thrive. It's the best week ever at HalfPriceSanDiego.com with 50% off to GTM Discount General Stores with locations in Santee and Lemon Grove. GTM was voted San Diego's number one discount store, saving you up to 30% to 70% off quality brand-named items. GTM buys overstocks, closeouts, and discounted national brand merchandise from large chain retailers and resells them to you for huge savings. Find GTM's weekly in-store specials and coupons at GTM Stores. Now that you've saved all that money at GTM, you have some cash to throw around at the first annual Day of the Dead party at Maria Maria inspired Mexican cuisine in Mission Valley. The Dia de los Muertos party is so big, it is two nights long. This Tuesday and Wednesday from 5 to 11, Maria Maria is featuring artists, specialty cocktails, live music, tequila tastings, and more. So come experience a traditional Dia de los Muertos party at Maria Maria this Tuesday and Wednesday night. And always check out at HalfPriceSanDiego.com for great deals all over town. Time for breakfast at Chevron Extra Mile for hot Van Hoot coffee and what else? Danish. Then my inner GPS kicks in. Recalculating. Maybe some donuts. Recalculating. Or a juicy Johnsonville sausage. Maybe I'll get one of each. Proceed directly to Chevron Extra Mile.

2:02:21Take a break with a 16-ounce Van Hoot coffee plus any variety of Grandma's cookies for just $1.99 through January 1st. Products sold separately at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for Dave and Busters. You got to come in and hang out with me sometime, man. I'm going to be there on select Mondays and Sundays this year watching football. It's a great place to eat. It's a great place to drink. It's a great place to play games. There is so much to do there. Would love to see you. It's Dave & Buster's. It's Mission Valley. Come on down there to Dave & Buster's and make it right with your boy. Dave & Buster's. Eat, drink, play football. Here's San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, when it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices. Service while you wait. Available Wi-Fi. Shuttle service. And a whole lot more. Well, it looks like you've got a lot of thick fog in different parts of San Diego as well as North County right now. The 8 westbound before the 15, there's an accident over on the right shoulder. You do have a back up to Jackson Drive. And somebody's not working out very well this morning because the 15 southbound Friars Road, we've got a weight bench that's in the number three lane. This report also brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. Every dollar goes further with Navy Federal's cash rewards credit card. Get cash back with every purchase. To get started, visit NavyFederal.org.

2:03:45Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. I'm in the woods. I'm in a mood. My dad is under the weather, so no Dancing with the Stars review. Feeling better today, but he was feeling terrible yesterday, so you didn't get to watch Dancing with the Stars. All right, you ready for this, Woods? Yes, I'm ready. Dude, strap yourself in. Okay. I'm about to tell you what is inside a McRib. Pig scraps. Pig scraps, you said. Yeah, well, I said pig scraps.

2:05:04What was that? I caught Jay's herpes. Yeah, language herpes. His language herpes. That is a big hit. Language herpes is a big hit on our Facebook page. He has spread it like in the 70s. Yeah. Gosh darn it. With his real herpes. The syphilis. I like how she throws it out there. Just calmly. Matter of factly. That's when Jay, I believe, had his real herpes. Yeah, his genital. Not to be confused with the... Yeah, the oral. Oh, God. So it's made of pig scraps. Oh, that's hideous. It's assembled from pieces. Uh-oh. It's assembled from pieces of pig, like the heart, the stomach. That's fine with me, by the way. Oh, my God. Don't. care a bit. They're cooked together. They're blended into a substance that is, in fact, technically pig. Okay? There's about 70 ingredients involved in a McRib. 70? 70. Yes, but 34 are in the bun. So that shouldn't freak you out. Most of those are chemicals that are used for different things. One of them is called

2:06:28Azitocarbamide. No, it's delicious. Oh, I love azitocarbamide. What it does, it bleaches flour, and it's also used to make gym mats. Now, there is a bit of salt. A bit. A bit. They extract proteins from the meat to help it glue the pig parts together. Yeah. Also, there are no bones. There are no bones. It's boneless. Yes, it's boneless. You'll never have to worry about finding a rib bone or any other bone because it's pressed to look like ribs, but there is no rib. I could care less about all of this. Typical fat guy. Okay, fine. I'm just telling you, it's...

2:07:21Why is it only temporary if it's so delicious? I don't know. That's what I want to know. Well, it's like the mint shake. Shamrock shake. But that makes sense. I mean, it goes along with St. Patrick's. But it's still delicious. Why don't they sell it all the time? They probably run out of pig parts. They have to stock up on it. Never run out of pig parts. No, you don't. You never run out of pig parts. You guys hear about that gym teacher that faked a bomb threat because she didn't want to work? Oh, my. Her name's Jennifer Gomez. Mikey. And she worked at Escuela de Guadalupe School. Mikey. It's your alma mater. You're a little redundant. And she called to say that there was a bomb in the building because she didn't want to teach P.E. that day. What? Six felony counts, false reporting of explosives, and she's been released after posting two grand in bond. Well, she had a really big Halloween weekend. That's right. And was very hungover. That is correct. And the thought of doing like square dancing. It did not. Parachute folding or whatever that was. Do you remember that? What was that? Parachute. Why was there a parachute? It was like a team building exercise. Why did they have a parachute? Is that what it was? Yeah, because you had to work together to get the parachute to do one thing. So stupid. Were you able to climb the rope? Nope. Me? Never. Uh-uh. We didn't have a rope. You didn't do the rope bit? Jay?

2:08:46Oh, God, what a jerk he is. Forget his face. Right now, this is the deal. He's looking at us right now as if we just said, hey, you guys didn't have a cafeteria, did you? You guys couldn't tie your shoes, could you? He looked at us. Yeah. It's like that's what we said. I think Jay's on the phone. Hello, Jay. Hi. What's so funny? What's so funny? Yeah, we couldn't climb a rope, bro. on the inside of your inner thighs, Mike? Yes, I did. How far up did you get? I didn't get more than a couple feet. No. Yes, and I don't know why you're whispering that. Because I'm at work. I know, you work here. You work here on the Mikey Show, Jay. I'm drunk. Kim was feeding me. Pumpkin vodka martini. It's pronounced vodka. Vodka. Vodka martini. I taught Jasper how to make them. That is true. You're telling me that you and Wood could not even climb the simplest way. Yes, yes, you're perfect. There were kids with special names. You're perfect, aren't you? Aren't you, Jay? You're just perfect. Gosh.

2:10:13Elder J, leave me alone. Stairs, Bill. I know it. You're a producer. You're a boss. I know it. I know it. I know it. I have a question. What? Did you even use your hands? You knew you could use those, right? Yes, I did. I'm not athletically gifted like you are, and I also was a bit overweight. Were your fingers too fat? Is that why you didn't use your hands? No. That's not why. It was because I didn't have strength and athletic ability. Why are you making that noise? I'm going to ask you something. Go ahead. What did your girlfriend think of that? How dare you, Jay? You're only asking me. You know I didn't have a girlfriend. You know I didn't have a girlfriend. Oh, my bad. Hold on. Someone else wants to say it. Hello? Girl, pal, Jay. It's Belle.

2:11:21You're right, Jay. All I knew was that you were the sweetest guy I'd ever met. The truth comes out. All I gotta do is have a couple pumpkin vodkas. I get vodka in me, Matt. Oh, by the way, Mike, did you have any pumpkin vodka? Oh, wow. No, Jay. I'm crazy. As you know, I'm a recovering alcoholic. You knew that. Today is a special day for you, ain't it, Mike? Yes, Jay. Today is a special day. Today's the anniversary. of you weighing under 300 pounds, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, that hole is big. Oh, wow. Is that right? Oh, Jay. Anniversary. You creep. Is that right? What are you going to do?

2:12:40I don't know. Eat a bag of candy? I see you brought three in your lunch. They're for you, you know. They're for you. That's the craziest lunch bag I've ever seen. That's not my lunch. I brought it for you guys. Six pounds of candy. Yeah, dude, you can't eat that. Oh, mamacita, look at you. Let's put out a San Diego All email saying, if you want some candy, come to the Mikey Show Studios. I'm not eating any of it. I will eat that whole bag of Reese's. Let's see. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. Adele has been forced to shut it down for the rest of the year. I'm going to tell you why in just a little bit. What do you think of... We got a text from a guy that said that his wife wants her best friend in the delivery room. And he doesn't. So what do you do in a case like that where it's like 50-50? You're both... I'd say it's her body. Give me a break. His kid too. But isn't it about who she wants to help her through the process? She's got to do the pushing and the work. You know what? I'm kind of going to go with the LOB thing here. And I'm going to say this. Guy that wants to dictate.

2:14:10who's in the room strikes me, that just kind of strikes me strange. Like, if your wife wants somebody in there, who's the guy that's like, no? That's true. It's supposed to be the two of you going through this experience together. But isn't that weird? What if Kim wanted somebody, like, wouldn't you feel awkward? I'd feel weird. I'd feel awkward. I would, the uncomfortable alarm would go off. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Would you ever say anything? I absolutely would. I'm saying I'm not enough. I'm not enough to help you. I can't be the one for you. You can never have too much help, though. Yeah, you can. Absolutely, you can have too much help. Too many cooks in the kitchen. They don't have to say anything. Yeah, they absolutely will say something. Moral support? I'll take all the moral support I can get. Load it on. And my mother-in-law was there, and it wouldn't even occur to me that that's going to be an issue. I mean, unless it's your neighbor, Jack.

2:15:17Unless it's another dude. Yeah. I don't want a dude in there. I've always thought that it would just be the husband and wife, but I don't know how that goes. I would think it would be. I mean, God willing, if I have a child one day or, you know, if I get to that point. You will, Ella. You will. I would think it would really just be my husband, and then I'd have people that I'd want to be there, you know. You could put some bleachers in. Yes. People sit and watch? Yes. She's going to put some bleachers in. Because when I said I just wanted my husband, I'd obviously need bleachers for all the nobodies that'll be there. Here's a question. Here's a question. How uncomfortable would this be? Let's say that you're really close friends with somebody. And I say, I go out to dinner with you. Okay? Like me and Rebecca go out to dinner with you. And I say, listen, man. We know the day is coming, and it would mean so much to us if we could be there in the room with you guys, in the delivery room with you guys. That would mean so much to us. See, Woods can't say no. I would say yes. He would say yes. He can't say no. You couldn't say yes on behalf of your wife. He would say yes, and she'd follow. And she's like my wife. My wife is identical Woods. Yeah, she's like Woods. She's team Woods. How uncomfortable would it be if a guy, your good guy friend,

2:16:43That's friends with both of you and his woman. So it's like not creepy, but creepy. And they tell you they'd really like to be there. I would laugh. I would think, surely you jest. Surely you jest. Surely you jest. No, it's, you know, we've been through this process with you. This is going to be, you know, your baby. And we just want to be there to support you. You guys are welcome to come. I will get someone to text you when the baby comes. And you guys are welcome to come after we settle down a little bit. Rebecca's eyes fill with tears. Yeah. I didn't tell you. We're going to Dallas to have the baby. I didn't tell you. I'm renting a U-Haul to drive her back there because we want to be around family, so sorry. Listen to this. M1 rude dude from Carlsbad. Are you there? I am here. How many people were in that room? I'm not sure of the exact number, but it was a ridiculous amount. Let's just say uncle, aunt. Couple cousins, couple friends, grandpa, grandma, dad, mom, yep, video cameras. Looking at business? Looking at business? Was there business looked at? Did anybody see any business? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Bleachers? Bleachers is pretty accurate. They've all looked and seen your wife's business. Yeah, yeah, business. Yeah. Your grandfather's seen your wife's business? No, no, no, this is my sister-in-law.

2:18:11Okay, your grandfather's senior sister-in-law's business. His granddaughter's business. And his dad. And her dad, yes. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Uncomfortable alarm. Uncomfortable alarm. Uncomfortable alarm. Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. That's crazy. Why? Say what? You know, they were saying, oh, yeah, you know, it's basically a big family party. Are you gonna go? And I said, um... Yeah. I'll bring the pinata. Oh, my God. I'll bring the dip. Yeah, is anyone making an artichoke? Yeah. What are you bringing? Cooler. Yeah. I got my roly cooler. Yes. I'll bring the mimosas. No way. I'm way too modest. I don't even want whoever the father is going to be to be down there. You don't? I want him on the other side of my head. Are you serious? Yes, dead serious. L-O-B. No, no, no. Then that becomes a place of something entirely different. He's got to cut the cord. No, he don't. Yeah, he does. The mental pictures are everlasting. I know, but there's doctors for that. He doesn't know what he's doing. It definitely scars you. Listen.

2:19:17Everything goes back to the proper place. But you remember it for a while. Yeah, you remember it for a while. Yeah. I wouldn't know, but I don't want it. I don't want it. Stay up there. You talk to me. You hold my hand real good. Not me. Give me some ice chips. You push my hair on my face. Tell me how beautiful I look. Hey, that's, you know, I got to tell you. I think it was part of what made the experience so wonderful for me. You were down? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right there. Right there. I was right there. You've got to be able to tell. You're going to want to know things. You're going to want to know updates. What's going on down there? I'm like, oh, this is what's going on. I can tell you the full. No. I mean, it's kind of an opportunity. It's amazing. It's an opportunity to see something you never get to see. You don't need it. I don't believe it's a miracle, but I do believe. It is a miracle. Not a miracle. Not a miracle. Oh, my gosh. It's a miracle. Seven billion times. Billion. Seven billion times. It's not a miracle. That's just who's here now. Everybody does that. Every being does that. I know. But it's still a miracle every time. No, no, no. Yes, two people get drunk and have sex, and then there's a third person. That's a miracle. Okay, here's a miracle. You fell out of a moving airplane at 40,000 feet and lived. That's called a miracle. That is a miracle. Miracles take all.

2:20:30All shapes and forms. Okay, you take a lunchbox out, you spit into the mud, wipe it on somebody's eyes, and they can see they were blind before. That's a miracle. That's one form of a miracle. That's a miracle. Yes, yes, yes. A baby being born happens all the time. And it's still a miracle. Seven billion times as of yesterday. As of yesterday. As of yesterday, there's seven billion people on Earth. There's more than that because that's not, that's currently. What's miraculous about it? Because it... forms out of nothing. It's almost like when you put dough into the oven and it becomes bread. It's a miracle. It's almost like when a cow makes sex to another cow, then they have a baby cow. Or when a bird makes sex to another bird and they have a bird. Just because it happens all the time doesn't make it any less special. Oh no, it is special. Miraculous means, oh my gosh, that dude He was thrown into the engine of an aircraft, like a turbine, and not a scratch on him. That was lucky. It's a miracle. This woman who has had the same working parts for almost her entire life. 30 years. All of a sudden, there's a thing. There's a person in there. There's a person in there. I will tell you what I think is extraordinary. The fact that the...

2:21:48person is that big and comes from a place that's that small. Yes. In some cases. That's not miraculous. Yes, it is. It is. No, that's not miraculous. And it's alive. That's really awesome. This person is now here. Yes. The minute that that baby's, like, this is now a person who has a name and a social security number. So you're going to say that when the soul is in the body that that's not a miracle? No. Oh, really? That's not a miracle to me. He's saying birth is not a miracle. Birth doesn't happen so bad. Yeah, God. Oh, my God! Because God... Coffin! Coffin. Coffin! God made the soul! You're God, Mac! God made the soul. The spark is alive. God made the soul! If somebody can explain to me why something that happens all the time... You should take that as a message from God that it happens all the time. He's like miracles are happening every day. Bam, bam, bam. He allows us to do what he first did. Yesterday we announced that as of yesterday, there are 7 billion people alive on earth. That's just right now. Yes. Think of all the people that have been around. Yeah. Okay. I mean, it happens. I just don't get what the miracle part of it is. It's a new person. Yeah.

2:23:05He gives us the power to do what he did, which is create a human. Yeah, yeah. But a miracle. It's a miracle on 34th Street. If that's where you are when it's conceived. It's a miracle on ice. That's right. That's nice. If you have to be on ice. Right, yeah, if you do. Reuniti. On ice. So nice. Riuniti on ice. Do you guys remember Riuniti? Of course. It was a screw top. You don't remember that, LLB? Riuniti on ice. Tastes so nice. Oh, what a player. I mean, white linen pants if you were having Riuniti. You had a macromade. What were those things called? The Eye of God? What's it called? What is it? Like the macromade, the cloth. What did it do? It stood on the wall. It was on the wall. Oh. What's it called? What was it called? I can't remember. God's Eye, Eye of God, something like that. What was the purpose of that? It was in Three's Company. That's all I remember. That's what Reedy reminded me of. And was that a big player in the 70s? Oh, the macrame. Remember the hanging fern? Oh, yeah. Everybody had. Yep. The macrame. Yeah. Made out of jute. And a swinging kitchen door. No, no, wait.

2:24:18Hold on. Jute is something that was used in biblical times, which you were around for, but most of us were not. It's a type of thread. You know, jute. Jute. Jute? I never heard jute. Well, it's a type of amber that comes out of a sapling. Jute. Jute. Jute. It's a rope. Like jute scootin' boogie? Yeah. What are you? It's not yarn. It's jute. That's what they macrame. Honey, I don't know what you're saying. Hemp? It's not hemp. No, not everybody has hemp, you stoner. Don't say ham, but that guy's going to start writing on our Facebook page again about the benefits of ham. Puts me in my coffin immediately. Jay, you remember Reuniti? Yep. How about, what was the other one? Cornette? In a box? In a box? No, no, no. I thought Reuniti was in a... No, no, it was in a bottle. It was in a bottle. You were supposed to pour it on ice. Reuniti on ice. That's nice. But wasn't it wine? Yes. It's like a wine, yeah. It was a blend. Everybody's aunt and mom drank it together. Yes. Your mom and your aunt would drink Riuniti. Wearing Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Yes. And Charlie or Aju. Charlie. Aju Lee. Oh, Charlie was a mom player. Oh, big time. And Aju Lee. Mm-hmm. Aju Lee. Aju Lee. And Jordache. She can bring home the bacon right up in the pan. This is all before my time. And never, ever let you forget your little man. You don't remember that, L.O.B.? No.

2:25:45Because she's a woman. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ella B., what about Jordache jeans? I remember Jordache jeans. Sassoon? Jordache has the look that it's from. Or is that different? Jordache jeans were a player. Oh, dude. You wore Jordache and you're a girl? Like, I was in. I think now's the time, by the way. Bring them back. Yes. I'd love to get back to that look of the kind of feather. When my wife does her Farrah Fawcett bit, I'm all the way in with her hair. It's sexy. I think I saw a Jordache commercial the other day. I think they've showed the jeans as they've gone through. Hey, if I were Jordache, I'd bring them back. exactly the way they were. Oh, no. No, dude, I'm telling you, they made the butt look good. But they're too high. They're way too high. I like the high. Gosh, do not like mom jeans. No, no mom jeans. Were they really? Yeah, they were high waisted. They have a horse on them, too? No. No, that's... Oh, wait, wait. She's right. Jordache jeans did have a horse on them. Yep, they did. Horse on the pocket. On the back of the butt. Yep. Now we're to a place, though, where jeans, the waist...

2:26:49has to come up just above your pubic line. Yeah, exactly. I know. Who was the first jean company, by the way, to do that and be like, let's try it. Seven for all mankind. Sevens? When those came out for girls and they were all low cut, I was all the way in. Still am. Yeah. I have a pair of sevens for men and my gut flops over the top. I thought they were Jamie's when I saw them. Oh my God. funny because he's fat. When we come back, I'll tell you why Adele had to shut it down for the rest of the year. My crib. What? 94.9. This is the FM Enhancer County. Hello, Hillary, with some shows for you to go check out like tonight. Two really good ones. You can see the Damned at House of Blues or Wild Flag at the Casbah tonight. And tomorrow night, Minus the Bear, play Soma. This Saturday, it is the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival with Telekinesis, Matthew Sweets, Stone Foxes, Bloody Hollies, Dead Feather Moon, and Family Wagon, plus beer from 32 local craft breweries. City and Color play House of Blues on the 8th. On the 9th, see Ra Ra Riot at the Belly F. And on the 10th, Black Joe Lewis and the Honey Bear.

2:28:11will play the belly up. You can also check out Cesio's four-day weekend as they kick it off with a Peter Wolfcrier show at Sunset Temple. And still to come, Company of Thieves, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Pinback, Mute Math, Dinosaur, Dinosaur Jr., and of course the FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny, December 3rd at USD. That's with My Morning Jacket, Two Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. Tickets are already on sale. So there you have it. Get out there and see some show. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. The comedies of Fox Tuesday are all new and bigger than ever. Ain't no thing. Ain't no thing. First, it's the new Glee event filled with music. Mayhem. I am literally horny with fear. And a must-see kiss that's truly scandalous. Oh, man, this is trouble. Yeah, Zooey Deschanel returns in an all-new episode of New Girl. So fun, hanging with the dudes, watching scary movies. Have you guys ever seen Fame? All right. Wait, where are you guys going? Followed by a new raising hope. Awesome. It all starts with a new Glee event. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Innovation.

2:29:28It makes things better, like Fox 5 News. Imaginative morning 5, 6, and 10 p.m. news on earlier. Doing more, always live from San Diego. All of it delivered by the most engaging team in San Diego. Take a look at the Fox 5 News. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation. Hey, Woods, what are you doing in here? What's up? I'm cutting my Ovation spot. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm cutting my Ovation spot. Are you using Ovation? Yes, I'm using Ovation. Wait a minute. Are you using the Ovation that I gave to your wife? Every single day. Look at you. I know. I want to be able to say that my hair is longer than it's ever been. Stronger than it's ever been. I love it. Also, Ella B., I've got the men's formula on order. Oh, they've got a men's formula? They've got a men's formula. It's an awesome, awesome holiday gift idea. Oh, that would be a great gift idea for the ladies to get for their men or guys could just treat themselves. Listen, it's the holiday season.

2:30:29And you know what's really important? Is your hair looking sharp for these holiday parties? Absolutely. So go to OvationHair.com right now and check it out for yourself. And when you check out, be sure to select FM949 for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Are you looking for the absolute best place to buy a pair of high-quality, brand-name sheepskin boots or slippers? And at the best price? Boot World is San Diego's home of sheepskin, and I'm here to tell you why. This is Ed Stone, president of Boot World. Boot World has the largest selection of the most popular, quality, brand-name sheepskin. Ugg Australia, Aussie Dogs, Stahikam, and Old Friend. You'll find a huge selection of all the classics and lots of unique styles to help you make your own personal statement without driving all over town. Plus, Boot World has carefully selected and priced our sheepskin boots and slippers to have the absolute finest product in each price range. This is quality that will be enjoyed for years to come. Boot World wants to help you get the sheepskin footwear you want, so don't wait. Coming now to Boot World while the selection of boots and slippers for men, women, and children are at their best. You'll find the sheepskin you want at San Diego's Home of Sheepskin. Boot World on Convoy in Kearney Mesa.

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2:33:09Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered in tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79, only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. When it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices, service while you wait, available Wi-Fi, shuttle service, and a whole lot more.

2:34:10Well, you've got some backup this morning on the 8 westbound stop and go from La Mesa Boulevard to Texas Street. The drive on the 805 northbound is tough from the 54 to Governor Drive. And as you travel through the 94 westbound, you're going to find some delays from Broadway to 47th Street. This report also brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Struggling to pay your mortgage, financial assistance, and help? It's available. For information, visit KeepYourHomeCalifornia.org or text HOME to 55678. I'm Stacey Cohen. FM 94.9. I want to hear, okay. The Mikey Show. Come on. With Mikey. Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be Guy-ish. Woods. But I'm super gullible. Lauren. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody for their insight. Jay. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. I hope I like the warm up. On FM 94.9. I am my own affliction. I am my own disease. It's a jam. Yeah. Yeah, so Adele has to shut it down for the rest of 2011 because she's got to have throat surgery, her people say. Her website says she's going to undergo surgery to alleviate the current issues with her throat and fully recover. And that's what it says.

2:35:58It's been hitting Sizzler real good. Stop. Ooh, that hoe is big. Beautiful. She's been singing a lot. Yeah. And even though she's, you know, full-figured. Full-figured. Even though she's full-figured, I think she's gorgeous. She blasts a lot of Sigs. She does. A lot of Sigs. And loves to hit the sauce a little bit, too. You know the SIG thing for a fact? Oh, yeah. How? I read Spin, Rolling Stone. I mean, she's a... People. Us Weekly. Us Weekly. Kim Kardashian's tweets. Fair enough. Have you ever tweeted her? Mm-hmm. Woods tweets all the celebrities. You've tweeted Adele? No. Oh, Kim Kardashian. Kardashian, I have. Would you say to her? I don't remember. I thought you said hugs one time. No, that was for Kristen Cavallari after Captain Dumbface, Jay Cutler, broke up with her. What a pud. Woods wrote to her on Twitter and put hugs. Like all the hugs he'd given her in person. He couldn't be there, so he just wanted to virtually send her one. Well, at least I didn't call Al Roker fat. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. And he tweeted L-O-B back. Al Roker tweeted her back. I didn't even tweet. I didn't even at him. All I said was, I think that Al Roker was more lovable when he was chubby. And he wrote you back and said what? And he said...

2:37:27Fortunately, my wife doesn't agree. Oh, my gosh. Wow. I wish Chris and Cavallari had written me back and said, thank you so much for your support. It means a lot. It means a lot. Hugs. What man writes hugs? I do. Did you put any sort of emoticons? No emoticons. I don't know how to do all that bit. You don't know how to make a smiley face? I know. It's colon parentheses. Don't be coy, Woods. I promise. Now is not the time to be coy. It's the only emoticon I know how to do. Well, I know how to do winky face. Did you do winky? I might have done the star hugs star. I might have. I might have. In your mind, did you think, you know what? Who knows? It was a bit for the radio. Who's Mikey Show Woods? Yeah. There's probably a lot of celebrities asking that question. He intrigues me. I'm intrigued. Look at that picture of him. He just hugged me. He just virtually hugged me. And I needed it. He twugged me. Yeah, I twugged her. He twugged me. I twugged her. I twugged you. I twugged her. You twapest. Yeah, twapest. You twervert. Twex pervert. You're a twex twervert. Sex twervert. Also a twix pervert. Twix pervert. Yeah, that's a true statement. I just ate four. Four.

2:38:53Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Listen, you're a text offender. You're a text offender. Anyway. Anywho. Listen to this. Thanks. Out today. Metallica with Lou Reed. Have you? Sounds like my uncle with a piece of paper in front of him. Yeah. In front of a microphone. Yeah. Doing karaoke. That is. Oh, wow. And here's the thing. You know me. I can be eccentric myself and I will like some things that are a bit eccentric. No one gets that. No one. But Lars, I think. I'm not even sure. I'm not even sure Het is in on that. I think Lou Reed is like, are you sure? Yeah.

2:39:56Are you sure? Because I'll ruin it. Because it's going to sound like you're the back track to a karaoke. Yeah. I mean, are you sure you want me? Because it'll be terrible. It sounds like a guy Jim from Scottsdale had a few too many, and he's singing with a Metallica cover band. It does, yeah. What did you say? Garrett sent you a review. He sent me a review from Pitchfork, and the review was 1.0 out of 10. Garrett said, worst album ever. I concur. Lou Reed, he's always been a bit. He's always been a bit. When he was in the Velvet Underground, they were so cool. Listen, you can't put that on and enjoy it. No. It's really cool to say that you like it. William Shatner's like, who signed off on this? Yeah. That's garbage, man. That's the thing. I mean, at least Shatner's, he's trying to be funny. Don't you dare, Mike. Mike, don't stop defending William Shatner's album. Hey. Garbage. You said you were going to buy it. It's hysterical. I'm glad you didn't. It's not hysterical. It's hysterical. And he knows it's hysterical. It's stupid. Who's laughing? He knows it's hysterical. He didn't put it out to be serious. If I came in here and I had an idea for On the Air, Let's Be Funny, and I grabbed my acoustic guitar and I started talking, talk singing?

2:41:21You would look at me like I'd been smoking peyote. Of course I would. You want to know why? Because that isn't your thing. His whole thing. He was an actor. Right, Woods. But William Shatner's whole thing is that he was a thespian. And that when he acted, he had a certain style. In a certain way. It's garbage. It was overacting. It wasn't good then. It's not good now. It's hysterical. It's like my brother, Steve, said, I go, have you heard this band, The Darkness? And he goes, yeah, it's so stupid. I hate it. It sounds like all 80s. And I'm like, duh. I like The Darkness. That's the point, dude. And he was like, oh, really? You think that they're like...

2:42:21trying to sound that way oh absolutely like yes that's the short shorts long flowing blonde locks yeah and he goes have you seen the video i go yeah it's hysterical he goes dude they look like they're rejects from the 80s i go yeah exactly those guys jam that's the point they were supposed to look like that the whole bit was we're supposed to sound like an 80s hair metal band And my brother's on the phone, and he's, like, imitating the guy. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I go, right, dude. You're getting it now. I love this, dude. It's like old T-Rex and sweet. Oh, it's great. It's so good. That chorus? Oh, my God. I mean, it's brilliant. Flipping the hair. A little queen in there, you know? Oh, dude, it was great.

2:43:31That's so funny. It's awesome. I love it. It's so brilliant that there's just not even words for it. Maybe they put out a new album. Nah, their lead singer had an issue with some throwing them back. It'll get you. I mean, but who would ever forget some of their greatest hits? Some of their greatest hits like I Believe in a Thing Called Love and Who could ever forget the beautiful song? Love is only a feeling. Just the fact that they're recreating that sound perfectly in and of itself is cool. Dueling guitars there. This is fantastic. He's wearing a white spandex one-piece outfit. It's all one piece. But it's zipped down to his belly button.

2:45:20You know, the only other thing that made it brilliant was the fact that you can hear the British accent. And they also rocked. Good. Yep. Blackbeard, I didn't know this. Blackbeard, the pirate, was real. I thought it was made up. Yeah, he was a real guy. I thought it was made up, Blackbeard. He used to run with Captain Morgan. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they just dug up a one-ton cannon from the ocean floor. Wow. 300 years old. Wow. And it was apparently aboard his ship. It's badass. Yeah. How did they know? You think that he wrote his initials on it? He carved it in there. BB? Yeah. BB was here. W-U-Z. Yeah. BB plus Janet forever. It was off the coast of North Carolina. Wow. Yeah. Freaking Blackbeard's cannon. Blackbeard, dude. So check this out. So his bit was, he was British, he was a pirate, and he was...

2:46:44And he's a brutal pirate that was killing people and everything. So our American forces, we got this guy named Lieutenant Robert Maynard, went out, found him, cut his head off, and hung it from the bow of his ship as a warning to other pirates. Wow. Sounds like a movie in the making. Yeah. Yeah, they can call it... Blackbeard's Delight. Or the Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, yeah. Blackbeard lost his head. Yeah. That was too magical. This one's real. Yeah. Pirates of North Carolina. Pirates of North Carolina. That is catchy. Guy's a real dude. We announced it earlier. If you missed it, Kim Kardashian's filed for divorce after a couple of minutes of marriage. Back on the market, fellas. Ten weeks she was married. Ten weeks. Ten weeks. On the bright side, she might be able to get an annulment. Nope. She said she didn't want one. How quickly can you do that? I thought if it was under a year. Really? That's what I thought. Oh, my gosh. Chances her next husband is an African-American athlete. 100? Yes. I know a girl, good friend of mine, got married in Las Vegas and had to have it annulled the next day. Met a guy and married him. Should I do that for the show? Yeah. Oh.

2:48:06No. Why? As long as you can get it enough. Because marriage is sacred. That's why. It'll be a bit. It'll be a bit. No. Just for fun. Marriage isn't a bit. For funsies. Yeah. She went there. She got hammered. She met some dude at a blackjack table. We should get married. I love you. We should get married. After making out for 20 minutes. Yeah. We should get married. It'd be hilarious. I'll do it if you do it. I love you. I love you. I mean, who knows? Maybe we actually were meant to be. How awesome would it be to tell our grandkids we met and we knew in 20 minutes? And I screwed up your hand because I said, hit me. And you had under 12. I had... And he was showing it too. Yeah, and I said, hit me. And I was like, what are you doing? And you said... I'll make one more move like that and I will hit you. Yeah. And I was like, you're funny. Yeah. And then you won us that hand because you're stupid. And then I blew on that guy's dice for the crap. Those aren't dice. Those were dice? Those weren't dice. Those weren't dice. Those weren't dice. Why do you have glasses on, weirdo? Why are you wearing sunglasses? Those weren't dice. That's so funny. Should he get married soon to us?

2:49:29Hey, oh my gosh. Do you know who that guy looks like? Is it Robert Downey Jr.? No. What, is it Vince Vaughn? No. You look like a crooked sheriff. Holy pookie buzz. You look like a crooked sheriff. I'm the crooked sheriff. Hey, arrest me, little crooked sheriff. I was thinking that was Chaz Bono. It's a way to subtly work into the bit there, Jay. I was singing that Chaz Bono. Isolate. I was singing that Chaz Bono. Chaz Bono. Can I catch your autograph? Right now. Woods has... Wait, I have to catch your autograph. Where's my phone? Oh gosh, Woods, please. Please don't move. I've got to get a picture of Woods. Mr. Chaz Bono. Come on.

2:50:38I'm going to post this picture of Woods when Jay decided to add to that bit. I know how I can make this bit better. Mr. Chaz Bono. You said that? It just feels so good. He wants it to cut through. It just feels so good. I'm not sure. There are some people whose reception is better than others. And so I will keep saying that he looks like Chaz Bono. You know, the transgender girl, gal, man. Woods after Jay's joke. Oh, wait. I'm going to put that in parentheses. Yeah. Quotations, the jokes. Oh, wow, Woods. Okay, it's sent, and it'll be on our Facebook page in just a moment. It's fun while it lasted. Yes, it was. Woods put his...

2:51:40His little beanie over his face and put his headphones on so that he wouldn't have to feel the air. It's like when somebody has really bad gas and they pass gas and you're not breathing, but you just don't want your mouth to breathe that air in. You don't want it to get on your teeth. No. No. That's what LLB always does. Because Woods always farts. It's a true story. I don't know why. Oh, boy. Because it causes cancer if you don't. Oh, shut up. Colon cancer. It does. You do not want to hold that stuff in. Let's get a colonologist on the phone. Yeah. If you're a colonologist, will you please call us and tell us if that's true? A proctologist. I don't want to cramp. I don't like cramping. Oh, boy. Happy birthday. You're very delicate. You don't like to cramp. You're very delicate. I take medicine if that's the case. I would if I had it. We'll get you some Midol. I don't want Midol. Pamper. Let me get rid of what I need to get rid of. Get rid of it somewhere else. Oh, look who's talking. Good God. Yeah, that's true. Jay's the worst. Both ends with Jay. Yes. Do you know the FBI has officially listed Insane Clown Posse's fans as, this is what they said about them, as a gang of criminals. Here's what they said. Greed. It's true. Although recognized as a gang in only four states, many juggalos. Juggalos.

2:53:03Please somebody call and defend them. Many Juggalo subsets exhibit gang-like behavior and engage in criminal activity and violence. I guess it is. They threw doo-doo at Tila Tequila when she was on stage. She had it coming. Doo-doo? Nobody deserves doo-doo. Wasn't it like a urine-soaked watermelon? Yes, all kinds of stuff. You've got to be hardcore to be an insane clown posse. You know, fan. They travel. They just follow them from show to show. It's like Fish and the Grateful Dead. There's one album I liked, but then they got Silly Wanna Kill. What's it called, the album? I don't even know the name. I can tell you the song. I've listened to it a hundred times. What's it called? What's the song? I'm the everyman's man. That's right. likes me. You like country? Yeah, I like country. No, I don't like country. You like Obama? I vote for him. But hey, guess what? I like Bush. He's from Texas. And you can't play any of it. Listen, by every, I am referring to all the individual members of a set without exception. Right. That's what I mean by every. Every. Human. Turtle. If there's a turtle out there that wants me to be a badass,

2:54:19I done listened to Insane Clown Posse's first album. That's right. I don't think it was the first. It might have been the second. Maybe it was their sophomore effort, but all I'm saying is it was all right, but then it all went south. I can look it up and tell you. It's off the chain, Mike. See how I did that? I try to connect with the young people, the old people. Off the chain, my man. I found myself saying my man. Yep. Me too. You did? Oh, yeah. Vince Vaughn does it in about 100 movies, so I've always kind of said it outside of here. And then he started with it. And then, so I can't say it anymore. Because it's his bit now. Before Jay started saying my man, I never said my man. I used to say it to our boss, Rick Jackson. You did? Now I can't. Hey, my man. That's because he hates us. Yes, well. Not because you said my man. That's because he hates me. Now, Mikey, let's be clear. He hates you. Me, he took to lunch at Joe's Crab Shack yesterday. We had oysters. Yeah, yeah. We had oysters yesterday. I said, yes, I'll have the... Oysters. We talked football, about my favorite quarterback. How we both hate you. And all the stuff we got in common. Yeah. He took L.O.B. and Wood to the drive-in. Yeah.

2:55:47Wood sat in the middle. Got him popcorn. And I'll tell you what, Maggie, just shook his head the whole time, said, how do you work with that load? He's shaking his head right now. Oh, he is. Well, he's listening to the DSC, but if he were listening, he would be shaking his head. Listen to this one. Listen to this one. Uncomfortable alarm. Oh, boy. Where is it? Oh, boy. It makes me so uncomfortable. Where is my uncomfortable alarm? Hang on. Look it. L.O.B.'s about to pass out from uncomfortable. Yeah. It's all fun and games until you get called back to the office. Plastic on the floor. Nine millimeter with a silencer on the desk. Amazing. Can't help but move your body to it. All right. Left for you. Definitive date on Charlie Sheen's new show. What's the percentage of people that have had somebody cheat on them? And what percentage of people have taken said cheater back? Next. How's our chance? Let's do it! More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. M94.9. The countdown has begun. Only four days to go.

2:57:51It's the official kickoff to San Diego Beer Week this Saturday afternoon at Liberty Station. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts presents the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. This is the ultimate craft beer festival showcasing all 32 members of the guild drink legendary and award-winning beers. Meet the Brewers, Stone, Ballast Point, Green Flash, Coronado, Alpine, Pork, Carl Strauss, Alesmith, Mission, Lost Abbey, Rock Bottom, Aztec, Automatic, Iron Fist, and more. And rock out all day. Help us celebrate our night. 9th anniversary with two stages of music. Performing on the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. Matthew Sweet. Telekinesis. Stone Foxes. On the local 94.9 stage. The Bloody Hollies. Dead Feather Moon. Family Wagon. Advanced tickets for the general session are $35. This price includes beer and music. The ticket price will increase the day of, so get them now at FM949SD.com. It's our ninth anniversary and the official kickoff to Beer Week. It's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. See you Saturday. Get your tickets and details at FM949SD.com.

2:59:01FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With our Teachers Are Heroes program, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM 949. And tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes. Made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California, and FM 94.9. Oh, I did not mean to do that. Oh, Jim. Jim, you don't mind me saying so. You're a surgical skill. I'm like, slicing torsos like Carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. Ah, and the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I gotta try alternative energy.

3:00:18Function. Alternative energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Functional alternative energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Just when you thought it might not happen, football season is back at U31. North Park's number one bar and grill with the Sunday ticket. Every game on 20 big screen TVs. Feast on an award-winning burger or mind-blowing nachos while cheering for your team at U31. And FM 94.9 will be there for Sunday afternoon football at U31. college ball fans we have three dollar you call it every saturday 12 to 6 p.m that's right three dollars you call it's every saturday at u31 your football headquarters website at u31bar.com chevron extra miles great selection of energy drinks allows me to stay on top of my game they've got van hoot coffee energy shots and rockstar and red bull hey you can uh you can hear those guys too right

3:01:2115-ounce Starbucks Energy and Rockstar Roasted Drinks and 13.7-ounce Starbucks Frappuccino, any variety, two for $3.99 through January 1st, one at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile, extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Looking for a quick, delicious lunch? Try Olive Garden's new panini sandwiches. For just $6.95, enjoy a half-pressed panini and pair it with your choice of one of four unlimited homemade soups or fresh salad, both with all the warm breadsticks you want. Choose from three great panini varieties, like grilled chicken caprese or grilled steak and portobello. It's our $6.95 half panini lunch, here for a limited time, weekdays until 4 p.m., only at Olive Garden. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, when it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices, service while you wait, available Wi-Fi, shuttle service, and a whole lot more. Well, we've got some backup on the 8 westbound stop-and-go traffic from La Mesa Boulevard to Texas Street. A lot of areas are really slow this morning. The 8 westbound is slow from Fletcher Parkway to Texas Street. And then the 5 northbound Balboa Avenue, there's a bunch of trash. There's bags of trash. They're in the slow lane, car swerving to avoid it. As you head towards Oceanside, the 78 eastbound, it's slow from Twin Oaks Valley Road to the 5. This report brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. Find your motivation. Find your thing. Find your partner. Find all those things in there.

3:02:50pretty sure you will have found your way to thrive. Kaiser Permanente, find them at thrive.kp.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. Well, you know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. That's a good song. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screen is crap. That's crap. 63% of people have had someone cheat on them. 42% of people have taken the cheater back. You know why? Addiction. You can become addicted to a person. You become addicted to a person. I believe that you can. You know, when I got cheated on, I think I was addicted to the person. And when it was cut off, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was like, you're supposed to call. You call them. Your life feels out of order because they're suddenly taken out of it.

3:04:48So you take them back because you just want it back. It's part of your routine. Part of your routine. You need the juice back, man. And you want to believe they won't do it again. So check this out. 47% of people, almost half, admit they've cheated on a partner. Decent amount of cheaters are getting away with it. 63% of cheaters have been caught, meaning that you have almost a two in three chance of being nailed. But more than a one in three chance of getting away with it. 42% of people said that they've taken back someone who has cheated on them. That means you got a two in five chance of being taken back for an affair. 30% of people said that they would actually give their partner permission if it were a celebrity. The old hall pass. Creepy. We say that because we think it'll never happen. Yeah, because it'll never happen. We don't mean it. No, we don't mean it. Well.

3:05:51Then don't be upset if your wife gets Hugh Jackman. Yeah. Guess who's here? Michael Vick is here. Uh-oh. Here. I wanted to say hi to him. Who is it? It's Michael Vick. Michael Vick. Let me see. Here. Hello. Hello. Who is this? Michael Vick. The Michael Vick? Yeah. Tell him you give me. You went to Virginia Tech? Tie her up like a dog. Yeah, I went to Vartek. Hey. Hey, don't say that thing about the dog. Tie up like a dog. Hold her head under the water. Can I talk to her? Can I talk to her? Can I talk to her? I want to electrocute her. Can I talk to her? Give me the phone. He didn't mean it. I take it back. I don't want you to have the whole time. No. No, but you said. No. I didn't think it would ever happen. Well, he's here. We got into pure nightclub. I need you on the next flight.

3:06:52Back to San Diego. No. Jennifer showed her boobs so we could give in. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. She did. Oh, gosh. There's Mike. Just lose it. Oh, my gosh. We got in. There is a light around the back. Dude, there are guys that get calls like that. No. Oh, yes, there are. You know there are. I have two friends in Dallas. Makes you. Makes your heart beat. They're new. Like, we're talking three-day exes. Went to Vegas together, partied with NBA Rookie of the Year, Blake Griffin. And there are pictures of him and his posse and them and their posse. And I mean... Three days broken up. Three days broken up. And my guys are like, cool, man. We're broken up. They're getting out of town. We'll go do our thing. Next thing you know, you look on Facebook and it's Blake Griffin and these chicks. And they're like, gosh, he's a multi-million dollar celebrity. We work at Reach Low. Right. If we put our minds to it, we can meet. Oh, yeah. Girls can do anything. A girl can go out tonight with $1 in her wallet. She can get a meal. She can have all the drinks she wants, and she can make sex to somebody. Well, I will take it a step further. I will say that a good-looking girl can go out tonight with $1 in her pocket. She can get a meal. She can get flown to Las Vegas this evening. She could then have a rented car.

3:08:16deliver her to Tucson. Yes. Where there will be a four-star resort awaiting, and it's just various people along the way. A good-looking woman with a wherewithal. Yeah, and the guile. And the guile can get this done. And the boobs. And the boobs. I'll tell you what, when I had those fake boobs in for Halloween weekend, I was pretty much sure I could have anything I wanted. Made you think, didn't it? Anything. How about, let's get a picture of that. They're basketballs. I don't know. She's talked about this costume three or four times now. I'd see a doctor. I think you might have an overload of testosterone. I think that maybe there's too much in your body. I'm just talking for the M1. I see basketballs. I get an erection. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I told you the other day, constant erections. Constant. Constant. Mike, I can't even play pool no more. There's balls all over the table. I can't even do it. Just like Nike. I can't play pool. You guys think it's funny. It ain't. It ain't funny. It's a damn curse. It's a curse. I hold that cue in my hand. I don't know what to do. It's done. I'm done. That's all phallic. Yeah, it's all phallic balls. Looking like boobs. Pockets. Good God, man. Shoot it in the hole. I can't. I can't play pool. Can't play golf. It's hard enough for me to play ping pong.

3:09:31Oh, my gosh. You just say the word ping pong. Oh, gross. Soccer. I can't help it. I can't help it, man. Foosball, get me. Spinning them little things. Hey, I know L.O.B.'s like a sister. I know she's one of my best friends. I don't care. I want to make sex to her. I want to see those basketballs. Yeah, I know they ain't real. I know they're actual. I know on the side of them says official NBA. Don't care! I don't know what N-E-R-F means, but I'm in. I'm in on the whole thing. I want to take the elevator. Oh, man. And up and down. And up and down. I want to hit the emergency stop. Where's the penthouse? Where's the basement? Somebody say penthouse? Yeah. Clearly. Sex perverts. This is not going to be good news to many of you. It's made national news. Right there. It is at a local hotspot that L.O.B. and Woods and Jay have all surfed. You see, they spotted, by they I mean a guy who was out surfing, a great white shark. In Encinitas.

3:11:12I Chihuahua. Beacons. Freaking beacons. It is a giant shark, too. Is there a picture? I saw a picture. They say that this particular shark was eight to ten feet long. That's a 20-footer. 25. Three tons of them. It's like that Mikey will mouth it. Beacons. Beacons. Beacons. Stop it. I surf two breaks now when I surf Beacons and Grandview. And they are right next to each other. Yep. Eight to ten feet. Oh, my God. Which means... I'm done. It would cut you in half. I'm done. He wasn't bothering anyone. Wasn't he? I'm done. You're going to need a bigger boat. You yell barracuda. You're racist. Huh? Quiet. You yell shark. We've got a panic on our hands on the 4th of July.

3:12:21I've played this scenario out in my head. Jay, what would you do? What do you mean? Like, okay, so you're sitting out there. You're this guy. What do you do? You're sitting out there. You're waiting. You're in the lineup. You see a shark. I pick my legs up on the board. Yep. And I motorboat in. Well, let me tell you what this guy did. He sat on the board while the great white circled him in five feet. of water. Five feet. That's it. I'm done. Five feet of water. Five feet, dude. I would have probably had a heart attack. Encinitas Marine Safety Captain Larry Giles said we found his information to be credible. So the murky waters off the shores of Encinitas have an eight to ten foot great white shark. You see, great white.

3:13:28All it does is it swims, it eats, and makes little sharks. That's all it does, Martin. This guy, Giles, said that the person definitely had an encounter with a great white shark. Eh. Eh. What are you going to do? Get out of the water? Stay out. People die in car wrecks every day. What are you going to do, get out of your car? No, but I'm not going to get in the water with an 8 to 10 foot great white shark. Airplanes crash. What if they told you that there was people up there swatting down airplanes? I wouldn't fly for a while. Take my chances. Take your chances. I've thought about it a billion times. I mean, I'll be back out there. It's not going to stop me, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it every time I'm out there. You've already been stopped. I never think about it when I'm out there. Oh, I do. Ever. I do, especially when I veer off, because that's when you're susceptible. If you're by yourself, they will go and get...

3:14:34The Lone Shark. Last year, I surfed. Almost every day that I surfed, I surfed by myself. Every day. Jamie would sit on the beach, and I'd be, because we'd get offshore. Would you wear your wetsuit? I was in my wetsuit. No, good. You look just like a seal. You look like a seal with no protection around you. Right. And I would sit on that board and go, man, I made it, didn't I? I'm in beautiful San Diego. I'd look around, power plant right there, and go, well, I'm the... The only guy out here. I'm the only guy out here. Oh, gosh. You feel real, real small. When you guys were trying to teach me to surf and we went to Moonlight, and we went out, and you guys were like, wow, Mikey, you came out here far with us. You did. And I realized, oh, I am far. I am far. I didn't know that. And then Woods and Jay decide, we're going to surf, man. So they're off. They're surfing. Like 200 yards. And all of a sudden, the water got very calm. It was calm. There was not waves. I was out there where there was no waves. And I was floating on that surfboard. And all I could think was about the depths below me. The dark, black.

3:15:53Inky Bottom. You're like a buffet. The McMikey. You know what he's made out of, don't you? What? Big parts. What parts? Big parts. He held together with sodium. He can barely get it out. He's in such a joy. Don't search for a limited time. Mikey. The McMikey. The McMikey is the limited time. Sharks. It's not very often that you hit the jackpot like this, you great whites. Bring your friends. Bring your friends. A lot of them. Oh, you can eat. Is it a buffet or is it a McRib? Yeah, it's a McRib featured in the buffet. Served on a surfboard. M1 Megan from San Diego. Are you there? What was the word of the day? That is correct. Sometimes he gets himself. Megan, yes, that is correct. The word of the day.

3:16:58Was, in fact, elevator. And you've won a pair of tickets to see City in Color. I'm so excited. Yep. Hold on the line. Is your wetsuit like the special sauce? Your leash is like the pig. You're like a chalupa. I hope they like Mexican food. You're like a floating chalupa. Your blood is a red sauce. It's for heroin. I burnt myself

3:18:05No offense, Dad Mikey. Dad Mikey. Tell me if you guys would be down for this. Would you be down from moving Halloween from October 31st to the last Saturday in October? One million percent. Just got thumbs up from Chris. Just got thumbs up from Jay. Why would you have a problem with that L.O.V.? Because it's October 31st. That's a day. It's a school night. It's just a beating. It's a beating, man. It's a beating. Imagine the joy that Mike's kids would get. Saturday. They get to go with their daddy. Yeah. Saturday night. So many dads work. They got work to do. You're supposed to go to school and have a party there and have a parade. You can do it on Monday. Yeah, dude. I seriously think that they should do that. They should do that. I said that about Halloween. And the freaking Super Bowl should be on a Saturday, not a Sunday. I would be down for that. Oh, what? I'd be down for the Saturday Super Bowl. What?

3:18:59I see nothing wrong with that. Football is played on Sunday. Football is played on Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays. It doesn't matter. Playoffs are on Saturdays. Have you ever heard the term on any given Saturday? Have you ever heard that? Yeah, they play on Saturdays now. Yeah. And Thursdays. Yeah, if you play at, you know, college football. No, playoffs, they play on freaking Saturdays. And they play almost every day of the week now in NFL. If they ever changed. Move it to Saturday. The Super Bowl. Hey, guys, it's Super Bowl Saturday. Super Bowl Saturday, yes. Badass. You could have a couple pops. You don't have to worry about dragging your ass into work on Monday. It's a national pastime. Make it right. Better than Halloween Saturday. You sleeping in on Sunday? After the Super Bowl, you have a big party? I've said this. I do believe that there will come a time where the day after the Super Bowl will be a day. Monday's off. It should be. I think it will get to that point. Why reduce? productivity for the NFL. Why not just move it to Saturday? Oh, it'd be so rad. Can you imagine the plebeians that don't watch football? That, you know, the production is, you know, like, oh, really? We're going to let our economy sink for a day. Right. Because some...

3:20:14mullet wearers. Cheese head where a block of cheese on his head. Oh, that's brilliant. What are you, a cheese dome or whatever you are? That is just freaking brilliant. Oh, that's rich. Oh, sure. Make the day after Stupor Bowl Sunday a national holiday. Is that it? So, I suppose all of the working mail and post people, your local post person. Oh, my post man. No. Not your post man. He's a post man. Are you saying that women can't? No. Mine happens to be a man. His name is Rick and he's very nice. Well, believe it or not, some people that work for the United States Postal Service are women. I never said that they weren't. Mine is Rick and he's a super nice guy. We chat. Mine is Chad, but I call him my post person.

3:21:19You're way too PC. It should be mail carrier, first of all. Plebe. The other thing is, the other day I saw a person hole right in the middle of the street. A person hole. A man hole. It's a man hole. It's called a man hole. It's not called a person bug, it's a lady bug. That's true. Man hole, also the name of a gay bar in Chicago. That's a true story, and I'm sure you know. Did you work there too, Woods? Do you remember that time, Woods? Why do I know all the gay bars in Chicago? Because you've worked them all. Have you worked at every freaking gay bar? Not that there's anything wrong with that. In Chicago. You are some sort of perverted freak, aren't you? Is it? What was it called? The manhole. You worked at the manhole and the mashed potato club. I didn't work at the manhole. You frequented it. I went in there one time. You were a manwhore and you went to the manhole. Admit it! Why do you know every gay bar in Chicago? I don't know. Oh, Lupe's. Yeah, Lupe's. That was a great... South Side of Chicago. Oh, yeah. The Blue Oyster. Oh, yeah. The Blue Oyster. Right when I said that, I go, oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we go. Strap in. Yep. So the cable person came over yesterday. Cable guy. Oh, because a woman wouldn't be...

3:22:49Proficient enough to be able to cut a piece of cable. In your world. In your world. In your world. In your world. In your world. In your world. In your world. In your world. In your world. I would call her a cable gal. Cable gal? Cable gal, huh? How about a cable dame? Cable dish? Cable broad? That is a nomenclature that he prefers. Cable broad. Yeah, you little cable whore. Cable hessie. Do you guys remember the one Super Bowl? They used to do the publisher's clearinghouse where people would win. There was one Super Bowl. Ed McMahon comes in and they're like, oh, hey, what are you guys doing? It was probably the last year they did it, and I remember that. There was a couple, and they weren't watching the Super Bowl. Do you know what she's talking about, Woods? Every year, Ed McMahon, live on the Super Bowl. Live. I remember that. He would go to somebody's house, knock on the door, they would open the door. You'd see yourself on TV. Yeah, and they would have a giant...

3:23:49you know, light on the camera and he'd give him $100,000 for the publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes. Yeah. And sometimes people would freak out and be coming out their front door before he could even knock because they'd be like, that's our front door! Oh my gosh, it's Ed McMahon! Yeah. And this couple was like, hey, how you guys doing? That's classic. It was the most underwhelming ever. I was like, who? is not watching the Super Bowl. That'd be me. Who are you? Oh, the game? I don't understand. What are you doing? I'm here. I'm Ed McMahon. I brought you your sweepstakes. Sweet. I actually... What is it? It's a check for $100,000. Hey, babe, did you do a thing or something? Oh, I think I was at the shopping bag. This is uncomfortable. Did you put something in a... I submitted something. I don't remember. There's a man here named... It's Fred? It's Ed McMahon. Fred. Johnny Carson's sidekick. Got it. Fred. Fred McMahon. I'm sorry. I don't know a Fred McMahon, hon. It's $100,000. Ask him what he wants. He looks like a pervert. What? He's wearing a suit. He's probably selling something. Tell him we don't want anything. Fair enough. Are you selling anything? No, I have a check. It's to Bill and Betty Buxton for $100,000. Yeah, I'm Bill. That's Betty. It's for you.

3:25:07Congratulations. Let me see this. I don't... Well, first of all, it's four feet long. Give me my glasses. How are we going to cash that? I never... No. This isn't... You spelled my name wrong. You spelled the name wrong. First of all. There's one T there, and she's got two T's in her name. We're in the middle of a crosswood pub. All right, we'll take it to the house. Thank you, Ed. You bet. Pervert, sexually perverted guy. She has two T's. Boom! You're so funny, Jay. Thank you. LOL. Let's see. Dear Diary. You know what? I'm trying to think of words that have two T's. Rattle. Tattle. That's a good one. The band Rat. R-A-T-T. Oyster, I think. Oyster. Battle. Battle. Tattle. Rattle. Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt.

3:26:19Oh, I know. Saddle. Saddle. Saddle. That's got two T's in it. That's got two T's. Oh, riddle. R-I-T-T-L-E. Riddle. Riddle. Middle, like you're going to middle in someone's business. That's got two T's in it. M-I-T-T-L-E. And I'm going to sit in this middle seat. Middle seat. M-I-T-T-L-E. Oh, I know. I'm going to get you. Say one word, Mike. Skittle. Skittle. Skittle. Say one word with two T's in it. I'm sure someone will bring up Skittle. It probably would. Probably would. Sucking down Skittle. Snorting Skittles. I saw him. Yeah. Guy chops him up with some kind of mocha het de mackie, and then he pours it all out in a line. He's unbelievable. Interesting. New release is next. Yeah. Brace yourself. Brace yourselves. It's a good one today. Our phone number is 570-194-9. is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Featuring Two Door Cinema Club.

3:27:54Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit. A blackout party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM949. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home. for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Some things should just be free, like your bags when you're traveling, airplane meals,

3:29:00And the winner of the 33rd Annual Pumpkin Weigh Off is Bert! A 1,524-pound pumpkin. Amazing. Oh, thank you. What's your secret? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to jambalaya, ribs, collard greens, steaks, fries, sausage, onion rings, crab legs, chicken, chili, and even prized pumpkins. Frank's Red Hot sauce. I put that s*** on everything. When it comes to vehicle safety, having poor visibility is a risk not worth taking. Whether you have a road grime-covered windshield, worn wiper blades that smear, or dim headlights that need replaced, a quick visit to your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store can help you see clearly and safely no matter what you drive.

3:30:14You'll find thousands of brand-name parts in stock, guaranteed low prices, and professional parts people to help you get the job done right. Improve visibility and save money at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Stop in today and save on Bosch Icon wiper blades. Buy one, get the second half off after mail-in rebate. These premium blades install in one simple step, and their quiet glide finish ensures clear vision in any weather. Bosch Icon Wiper Blades. Buy one, get the second half off after mail-in rebate at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim, unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. Smashing Pumpkin. Can you imagine if he was recording this and a sound engineer accidentally dropped the ladder? Clang! Clang! Hey! Billy, I'm so sorry. Do you realize what we're doing here? I know you were doing landslide. Recording this landslide. I know you were doing landslide. It sounded so good, dude. Here, take two.

3:32:15What are you doing? I'm so sorry. I have this box of cables. I'm Billy Corgan. I'm trying to record landslide. S-word. Gosh darn it. Dang it, he's going to freaking fire me. What is the matter with you? I'm sorry, dude. Why would you walk in with a box like that right now? I'm trying to get it in place. Just hit it one more time. In the mood? All right, I'm literally going to stand like a statue. You're asking for trouble. Don't move. I'm not here. Trevor. I'm not here. Some in my left. More on the left. What are you doing? What did you hear? Is that your elephant? It's my elephant. It's my elephant. Douchebag! Just stand there. Don't move. Do not move. Take yourself up. I was making a cocktail.

3:33:46I decided to make a cocktail. Make a cocktail? What? We're in the studio. Sorry. Do you know he cut that song in his apartment in Chicago on a little four track? Yeah. Can you imagine his phone ringing? I know. Oh my gosh. Hello? Mom, I told you I'm recording today. Mom, I told you I'm trying to record Landslide. Billy, why do you sound like you're from Brooklyn? It's all right, Billy. You can do that, but I told you, turn it down already. Mom, you sound like you're from Brooklyn, Billy. You're from Chicago. It's okay for you to do it, but your father's trying to sleep already. Turn it down. Mom. That's a lady song anyway. Why are you doing a lady song? Shut up, Mom. You don't understand my music. I don't understand. You're right. What's a smashing pumpkin anyway? Is that Billy? Is he playing his stupid guitar again? It's not stupid. I told you, kid. They're hiring down at Macy's, okay? I'm not going to work at Macy's down. They're hiring managers at night shift.

3:34:57Stock Boys. I told you I'm not working at Macy's. Why not? It's a good job. You put that stupid guitar in the case and leave it be. Smash. Oh, God, with this song. The Coke Horse. Shut up! All right, don't turn the vocal on until I start. What is that? It's my Tums. I got heartburn. Dad! Paying for guitars and you're 36, you're still living at home. I'm trying to record Landslide! Please! Dad? Hey, you get your own place. You get your own rules. You understand me? Your mother and I are practicing. What practicing? My horn. It's a horn. It's a flute with a ringer on it. What do you care? I just want to record. Lawrence Wilk, he was a good one. We've got a party this weekend. It's the quietest, sweetest song. It's so beautiful.

3:37:00Poor Billy. He's lucky he never got recorded. Yeah, seriously. Bobo Zello. Stop playing that! We're watching soccer. World Cup is on. You can learn a thing or two. You should try playing soccer instead of that stupid guitar. And grow your hair back. You're bored. You look like your Aunt Fran. And you know what I'm talking about. Got a rest there. Let's see. New releases that are coming out today. The new Florence and the Machine ceremonials. Wait a minute. I gotta get to it. Oh, feast. Wait a minute. Where is it? Oh, here we go. There we go. You think the Machine are ever like, really? She gets her own bed in here? She gets her own thing? How about just the Machine? Yeah.

3:38:19We get it. You're red hair and you sing real good. Just call us the machine. You're fine. There it is. Justin Bieber under the missile get. It's the most beautiful time of the year. Lights for the streets. Bruno Mars. Identical. Identical Bruno Mars. I like it. Nice Bieber. No, you don't. I like the sound of his voice. Like the sound of his voice. Lou Reed and Metallica. Lou Lou. A million situations. I can hear this coming out. Oh, yeah. Like ketchup and honey, isn't it? Yep. What's your bid, Ella B? Cocktail sauce and peanut butter. Cocktail sauce and peanut butter. Delicious. Oh, that's bad. Yeah, that is awful. The new Megadeth 13. Dave is leaving to play South America. Wow. Sounds like Megadeth. You've got to YouTube them in YouTube Megadeth in South America. I think it's Megadeth in South America or Venezuela or something. It looks like Woodstock.

3:39:48And they're all jumping up and down at the same time. How come American audiences don't do that? We don't do that. We don't get wild, man. We're too cool. Way too cool. Our hands are in our pockets. Yeah. Way too cool. I'm one of them. Looking at our iPhones real good. Yeah. I'm one of them, by the way. I'm not. I'm that guy. I'm not. We're very buttoned up. How come, like, you see England. And they're all just together, just a sea of just jumping up and down together. In America, that would never fly. A lot more censored. Yeah, we're cool. We have beards. We're too cool to jump up and down at the same time. We have beards. We wear newsboy caps. We wear bathing suits to beaches. Yes. Right. Yeah, that is true. They don't. The new Miranda Lambert for the record. Party. Is that country? Yeah. The new Steel Panther Balls Out. Genius. Genius. I know this guy. Do you? Ralph. If you want to be like Tiger Woods. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a total bit. They used to play Typhoon Saloon under the name... Oh, that's who it is? Yeah. Metal Shop? Metal Shop. Metal School? Yeah. Aren't they different, Steel Panther and Metal Shop? Well, the lead singer is Ralph. Yeah, there's three different bands. He's been around. Yes. That's awesome. I love that stuff. Yeah.

3:41:27The new Susan Boyle is out. Someone to watch over me. I doubt it. A cat to watch. It should be called A Cat to Watch Over Me. You're such a jerk. It's a sad song. Is this a beautiful voice? Is this a cover? Yeah. She's a great voice. That makes me blow my head off. Yeah, it reminds me of like a Scottish seashore. When the sun is going down and it's foggy. Loch Bess Monster out there. Probably exactly what she was doing. Yeah, that's where she recorded it. The Beach Boys, The Smile Sessions. What is it? I can tell you. This is the tapes that Brian Wilson wanted destroyed.

3:42:24Yes. And so they were released, and it's from, like, everything. And it's from real good quality to poor quality, but it's everything. Wow. They had a hidden album, an album they never put out called Smile. These are the sessions from Smile. No way. And he didn't want anyone to hear it? He wanted them all. He thought they'd all been destroyed. Right. Why? He didn't think it was good work? Right. Really? Yeah, he went kind of for a while. He kind of lost his marbles for a long time. A little too many good vibrations. Yes. It's all jumbled and mixed together. It's weird. Mad genius, man. They were good, man. I'm intrigued. It's intriguing. And then They Might Be Giants album raises new and troubling questions is the name of the album. They might be Git. Out on DVD, Crazy Stupid Love, Cars 2, and Like Water for Chocolate Elephants. Wait till I tell you how much money...

3:44:02What are you doing? What? I don't know why. It's because I told Woods one time that I knew a girl that had relations with Huey Lewis. And she reported something back that was generous. That was flattering. It all makes sense now. Wait till I tell you how much. Wait till I tell you how much they made from... Camera citations in San Diego. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The countdown has begun.

3:45:06Only four days to go. It's the official kickoff to San Diego Beer Week this Saturday afternoon at Liberty Station. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts presents the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. This is the ultimate craft beer festival showcasing all 32 members of the guild drink legendary and award-winning beers. Meet the Brewers, Stone, Ballast Point, Green Flash, Coronado, Alpine, Pork, Carl Strauss, Ailsmith, Mission, Lost Abbey, Rock Bottom, Aztec, Automatic, Iron Fish, and more. And rock out all day. Help us celebrate our 9th anniversary with two stages of music. Performing on the FM 94.9 Anniversary Stage. Matthew Sweet. Telekinesis. Stone Foxes. On the local 94.9 Stage. The Bloody Hollies. Dead Feather Moon. Family Wagon. Advanced tickets for the general session are $35. This price includes beer and music. The ticket price will increase the day of, so get them now at FM949SD.com. It's our ninth anniversary and the official kickoff to Beer Week. It's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. See you Saturday. Get your tickets and details at FM949SD.com.

3:46:18Meet Chris. Um, hello, random voice. Another customer exhausted from a lifetime of unfair treatment from his cell phone company. It's true. I'm even considering giving up cell phones altogether and switching to carrier pigeons. Not so fast, Chris, because now there's an unbelievably fair alternative. Cox Wireless. How fair are we talking? Unbelievably fair. Go ahead and name anything about your cell phone plan that you think is unfair and I'll tell you how Cox Wireless would handle it. Okay. It's unfair when I have to pay for all the minutes I don't use. Cox Wireless has money back minutes. Money back every month for the minutes you don't use. Up to $20. How's that sound, Christopher? That sounds good. These pigeons are really messy. Your wireless is unfair. Go to Cox.com or visit any Cox Solution store today to find out just how fair wireless can be. Cox Wireless, now available. Cox Wireless is available to residential Cox customers. Coverage not available in all areas. Other restrictions may apply. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one.

3:47:32Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered and tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79. Only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Hi, this is L.O.B. and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation. Hey, Woods. What are you doing in here? What's up? I'm cutting my Ovation spot. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm cutting my Ovation spot. Are you using Ovation? Yes, I'm using Ovation. Wait a minute. Are you using the Ovation that I gave to your wife?

3:48:34Every single day. Look at you. I know. I want to be able to say, Ella B, that my hair is longer than it's ever been. Stronger than it's ever been. I love it. Also, Ella B, I've got the men's formula on order. Oh, they've got a men's formula. They've got a men's formula. It's an awesome, awesome holiday gift idea. Oh, that would be a great gift idea for the ladies to get for their men or guys could just treat themselves. Listen, it's the holiday season. And you know what's really important? Is your hair looking sharp for these holiday parties? Absolutely. So go to OvationHair.com right now and check it out for yourself. And when you check out, be sure to select FM949 for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. The comedies of Fox Tuesday are all new and bigger than ever. Ain't no thing. Ain't no thing. First, it's the new Glee event filled with music. Mayhem. I am literally horny with fear. And a must-see kiss that's truly scandalous. Oh, man, this is trouble. Yeah, Zooey Deschanel returns in an all-new episode of New Girl. So fun, hanging with the dudes, watching scary movies. Have you guys ever seen Fame? All right. Wait, where are you guys going? Followed by a new raising hope. Awesome. It all starts with a new Glee event. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Innovation.

3:49:59It makes things better. Like Fox 5 News. Imaginative morning 5, 6, and 10 p.m. news on earlier. Doing more. Always live from San Diego. All of it delivered by the most engaging team in San Diego. Take a look at the Fox 5 News. Time to bust out your big boy party pants. They're like granimals, right? Mammoth Mountain Concert Series presents the Black Lips and Ra-Ra Riot at Canyon Lodge November 12th. Tickets are only $20 in advance and $25 at the door. Come out for the wildly energetic psychedelic rock sound from the Black Lips. Indie rock from Ra-Ra Riot. This concert is part of the Big Winter Kickoff weekend. Packed full of events and parties at Mammoth Mountain. For more information and to purchase your tickets, call 800-Mammoth. Or visit mammothmountain.com. See you at Big Winter Kickoff. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for Dave and Busters. You got to come in and hang out with me sometime, man. I'm going to be there on select Mondays and Sundays this year watching football. It's a great place to eat. It's a great place to drink. It's a great place to play games. There is so much to do there. Would love to see you. It's Dave and Busters. It's Mission Valley. Come on down there to Dave and Busters and make it right with your boy. Dave and Busters, eat, drink, play football.

3:51:16Now that the Mega Millions jackpot is 78 million, you've got 78 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do. I've never been so happy. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. It bothers me that I don't know how to be. Woods. That's why I don't eat that. funk cheese that you eat. I eat Kraft American singles. Lauren. My obsession with black men came from Bill Cosby. Isn't it? Yeah. And Jay. Man, if I could just be a home dad. On FM 94.9. Charlie Sheen's new show will be on FX in 2012. That's what they're saying. Jessica Simpson's pregnant and Kim Kardashian's getting a divorce. These are the days of our lives. Mm-hmm. And we should move Halloween to the last Saturday in October. 100%. No. I think that would be good stuff. You'll change the tune when you've got kiddos, Ella Bay. Yeah, maybe. You work a full day. You've got to come home trick-or-treat. Yeah, it's rough. $213,000 were made from citations from the cameras in 2011 here in San Diego. Happy birthday.

3:52:5150% reduction in red light-related accidents, and an 11% reduction in rear-end collisions. I wonder how much it costs to maintain and keep the cameras up and running and install them. I don't know, but I think it's saving lives. I've been caught on those cameras. I've gotten a ticket. Really? Yeah. $75 back in Big D is what it costs you if you run a red light. It's about $570 here. In Poway, I know, because my wife did it. It was about $570. Really? What? $570? Yeah, we're paying installments. Oh, wow. It was over $500. Oh, my gosh. That's a lot. I was pleased when it went down. You know, people have caught their spouses cheating because of those. No. Yeah, because they'll send the picture. Like, why were you on... Who's that girl in your car? Yikes. What were you doing on Saxony Road at 1245 in the afternoon? With that girl. With that girl. Yikes. I've never seen that girl. She's a mechanic. She's a mechanic? Yeah. She just wanted me to test drive it with her in the car. That's a ghost. She's a mechanic. It's a ghost? What would you say to that, L.O.B.? To the mechanic there? No, to him saying that line. Say it again? She's a mechanic, and what I wanted to do, she wanted to hear it because, you know, the car's making that...

3:54:11That thump, thump, thump noise. Where does she work? I'd like her to check my car out. Oh, well, good. Let's go. I'll get her. I'll get her. Let's schedule it for next week sometime. Okay, because mine... Well, it's making a... I'm almost afraid to drive it. Do you think she'd take... We could grease her. Let's go. No pun intended. Let's go in now. I'll tell you what. I'll take it in for you. No, no, no. I want to hear it. No, no. It's my car, babe. I drive it. Oh, then here. Let me just write down the number of the place to go. And I don't know if she's working today, but you can go. You can't go with me? I can't. I'm busy. Really? I bore four of your kids and you can't go with me for the mechanic? I just threw it in my mouth. Oh, my God. Just admit it. Jay, admit it. Just admit it. You had four of my kids? You can't go with me? She's going to get you. Kim is going to be so mad that you've had four of my kids. Just admit it. She's already got you. Jay, admit it. Just be like, fine. Yes, I did. I did. Jay Sextor Yep. Sorry. And I was in, and I was speeding. I had to get home. I'm sorry. Do you forgive me? Can we just have dinner now? I hit a car earlier that day. Once, when I was in the fourth grade, I stole something. You want to hear everything I've done wrong? I just did heroin one time. It's no big deal. It was a guy in college. I thought it was a girl. I thought it was a girl. He had an Adam's apple. Speaking of Adam.

3:55:19Mackie. Let's see. Samuel L. Jackson holds the record for the highest grossing film actor of all time. Well, when you're in 7,000 films. Well, yeah, that's what I meant. He hasn't personally made the most money. However, his films have. Really? Yes. That's shocking. 7.57. Billion dollars at the box office is attributed to films Samuel L. Jackson was in. Jurassic Park, 914 million worldwide. Wow. Pulp Fiction, 212 million worldwide. Pull up his IMDb and see all the movies that cat's been in. And then the three Star Wars movies. Oh, yeah. 2.4 billion. Oh, I didn't realize he was part of those. 2.4 billion dollars. Never seen the new ones. What? Yep. That's right. He's in them all. What's his name? Mace Windu. Mace Windu. God. Mace Windon't. Get it right. Yeah. Guy's very, his movies are very popular. They are. Snakes on a Plane was a big hit. It was. You know what, though? His movies, I don't think, got big. I don't think he started starring in a lot of movies until Pulp Fiction. I don't think he was in a lot of movies before 1994. Surprise you. He was in a few.

3:56:41Samuel L.? He was in Coming to America. I know that. Oh, yeah. That was when it was his first role. Was he really? Yeah, he was the guy that robs the McDowells. McDowells. Really? McDowells, yeah. I watch it twice a week. Do you? At least. But you've never seen episodes one, two, and three of the stories? I tried to watch the first one, and I didn't like Jar Jar, so it turned me off. Well, yeah. Jar Jar, you kind of have to. If they did like a Jar Jar list thing, I'd probably watch it on DVD. All right. All right. So I'm back on Samuel L. Jackson. Oh. I guess you're right, Woods. You got a bunch? Yeah. He goes all the way back to 1972. Whoa. He's in a lot of movies. Oh, wow, Woods. I guess it must have been a Tarantino thing where he must have seen him in something. Yeah, probably something smaller. He was in Do the Right Thing. He was in Sea of Love. Oh, that's right. Al Pacino. That's a great movie. Ellen Barkin. Uh-huh. Dirk McGird. Let's see. Mo' Better Blues. Goodfellas. Yeah, Stacks. Stacks. Stacks the truck driver. Wow. Return of Superfly. Never saw it. Jungle Fever. L.O.B. Strictly Business. He's in a lot of movies. Dude's done a ton. He was freaking great in A Time to Kill. He was in Patriot Games. Yep. Huge movies. True Romance. Jurassic Park. Menace to Society.

3:58:09He just joined Twitter, Samuel L. Jackson, and he is really funny. Is he good? I'll write him a message today. There you go. He just got on Twitter? Yeah, not too long ago, and he already has tons of followers, but he's quite funny to follow. I need some more Twitter followers. I can't seem to get them. You don't tweet. I do tweet a little bit. A little bit. A very little bit. Song lyrics is my bit. That's stupid. I don't know what to do. I'm not that clever. Go in and out of the tweet valley. iPhone is great because they got a built-in tweet thing. I have one, and I still can't do it. Still don't use it? Oh, boy. Don't know how to twit pic? I would twit pic like a madman, but I don't know. It's easy on the phone. I'll teach you. It'll take two minutes. You're a bit of a twervert. I mean, we talked about it earlier. Yeah, we did talk. Don't be a twidiot. Yeah, you're being a text pervert. Tax offender. They change Twitter. You can just upload the photo right away. That's true. It's really tweezy. Yeah, they say that they do that for Facebook, too, but it takes forever. Don't be tweezy. Don't be tweezy about it. Just get on there and do it. Don't be all twitchy about it. Gosh. All right. You're getting a little twitchy. A little twitchy. I'm on my twiery itself. Is it your twime of the month? My twime of the month. Is it your twime of the month? I'm menstruating. Isolate!

3:59:31Damn it. It's the greatest isolate ever. We'll be using that Saturday. Oh, my gosh. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Well, you know, we've got a lot going on. This weekend, Saturday, is the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. So I'm going to play Stone Foxes, who are playing Saturday. And then, of course, December 3rd is the Holiday Hootenanny. I'm going to play My Morning Jacket, both of those before 11. And then a whole new batch of recommended albums this month. Nice. One of which is the new album from the Blackout Party, local band, who will be at the Holiday Hootenanny. I will play them later, too. So much good tonight. Here you go. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you again tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock and do this all over. The Mikey Show's out.