The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/02/11
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
anniversaryChargers gameJustin Bieber paternityMcRib returnCity in Color ticketsCatchphrase gameUSS Indianapolis shark storyHerman Cain sexual harassmentOvation hair productBank of America feeHoliday HootenannySan Diego Brewers Guild Festival
Mikey opened the show announcing the word of the day helmet and giving away City in Color tickets, then celebrated his four‑year anniversary with Jamie. The hosts previewed the Chargers’ tough Sunday game against the Packers, comparing Phillip Rivers’ struggling stats to Aaron Rodgers’ strong season. They also debated the Justin Bieber paternity allegation, discussed the return of the McRib, played a lively round of Catchphrase, and heard a harrowing interview with USS Indianapolis survivor Adolfo Salaya about shark attacks and survival.
What happened, in order
Word of the Day Helmet & City in Color Tickets
Mikey announces the word of the day is "helmet" and tells listeners that calling when they hear it wins tickets to see City in Color.
Mikey's Anniversary & Woodsy's Newsboy
Mikey celebrates his four‑year anniversary with Jamie, mentions cutting his nails and looking forward to an Asian massage, and notes Woodsy wearing a Newsboy hat.
Chargers vs Packers Preview
Mikey and Woods discuss the Chargers’ upcoming game against the undefeated Green Bay Packers, highlighting their penalty trouble and the Norvember trend.
Quarterback Showdown Stats
They compare Phillip Rivers’ 7 touchdowns and 11 interceptions to Aaron Rodgers’ 20 touchdowns and 3 interceptions, noting Peyton Manning’s 31‑touchdown record.
McRib Sandwich Returns
Mikey announces the McRib is back at McDonald’s for a limited time at $2.79, describing its tangy barbecue sauce and limited availability.
Catchphrase Game Showdown
The hosts play Catchphrase in teams (Mikey/Woods vs L.O.B./Jay), struggling with clues like Campbell Brown, Ethan Hawk, and Frida, leading to laughs and points.
Justin Bieber Paternity & Statutory Rape Debate
Callers and hosts debate whether a 20‑year‑old woman’s claim that 16‑year‑old Justin Bieber impregnated her constitutes statutory rape, discussing consent, age of consent, and double standards.
USS Indianapolis Shark Survival Tale
Mikey interviews Adolfo Salaya, a survivor of the USS Indianapolis sinking, who describes shark attacks, burns, and the ordeal of 1,400 men in the water.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsJamieL.O.B.JayMonicaMatt CommerceChrisHerman CainClarence ThomasKris JennerKim KardashianPhillip RiversAaron Rodgers
39,527 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's the Mikey Show, and today is Wednesday? Is it Wednesday? It's Wednesday. Woo! Wednesday. Wednesday. And we are ready to hear from you on the phone lines. 570-1949 is the number. And a new pair of headphones. Already out. Yeah. Two seconds. Two seconds. I mean, hey, listen, they sound really good. They sound really good. They sound different. They look weird. Oh, they're great. On you, because I'm used to seeing you and the other ones. It looks so different. I'm surprised it didn't spin you guys out more. I'm looking, I'm like, God, those are giant cans. Man, those are big headphones. Wow. How dare you. How dare you. Well, people get a big gun. You can give us a call, 570-1949 or text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. We've got a lot of things to talk about. One of them is if you're a B of A member, you're going to be happy about. And the word of the day is helmet. Word of the day is helmet. So sometime between now and 10 a.m., we're going to say the word helmet. And when we do, you've got to be calling now. You get tickets to City in Color.
Next week, Tuesday night, House of Blues Feast. I'm Mikey, and I'm 41 years of age. And I cut my nails at home today, which I always kind of get sad when I do because it means I'm not going to the Asians. Right. You know, I'll let them grow. And my thought is, oh, cool, I will treat myself to the Asian, you know, back and shoulder massage. I will treat myself to, you know, the ridicule of them laughing and me not knowing what they're laughing about. They'll say something, look at me, and giggle like that. He's 940. Translation? Nice beaver. Oh, wow. Woodsy's wearing the Newsboy. Found it. He's rocking the Newsboy. Traveled the world, that Newsboy hat. Kid wears many hats. Sure did. And Woodsy's 36 and has a lovely wife named Jamie. It's my anniversary today. Aww. Aww.
Congratulations. Happy anniversary, my love. That's great. Four years today. That's great. That is great. Each day better than the day before. Why did you seem amused with yourself? You seemed amused with yourself. It's a true statement. You seemed amused with yourself. It's a true statement. I love my wife. She is a doll and a little angel. There you go. How did she put up with you? I don't know. A lot of wine. Are you kidding? You don't even know. You don't even know. You don't even know. The tornado you see here is nothing compared to the tornado at home. It's tame. That woman, I'm telling you. You know what that woman did this morning? I woke up and I went, oh my God. And there was pee on the floor and poo. And she got out of bed and cleaned it up so that I didn't have to. That is true love. That is a little anniversary gift. That's a sweet anniversary. That's all you're getting. That's it. That's fine.
L.O.B. is our assistant producer, and she is 30 years of age. Her boyfriend's name is Matt Commerce. Her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, otherwise known as her BFMC. Jay is 47 years of age and 48 years of age, and he is a gentle man. Very gentle. Gentle like a bull. Yes. Gentle like a bull on steroids. Or like a grizzly bear. On methamphetamine. I don't know what you're talking about. What'd you say? He's our producer. And then our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. Let's see. Let's see. Gave you the word of the day. Chargers. Wait a minute. Before we talk Chargers, I want to say hi to some people that are waiting on the phone. M1 Monica from La Mesa. Please tell everybody what an M1 is. M1? Yes. What's an M1? I don't know. Good. Good. Because I'm going to teach you right now. And that's okay. Because some people don't. An M1 is a Mikey show listener. You love the Mikey show. Maybe you've just. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Now you may have just discovered us, which is good because I want people. That's what we want. So an M1. I discovered you about nine years ago. Oh, rad. Okay. Well, M1 is a Mikey show listener. And when they call in, they turn their radio down, get to the point and don't cuss. All right. That's what makes you an M1.
and you make new M1s, and you listen for long periods of time. You don't listen for short periods of time. And what were you calling about, Monica? I just want to give a shout-out to you guys. I love you so much. You guys, like, basically changed the... 91X is cool, whatnot, but you guys are... You guys like Rocket. You guys are, like, the world's, like... You guys are, like, the innovators of, like... I just can't. Words cannot describe. Isolate. Man. Isolate, isolate. There's so many good isolates there. Yes. Monica, thank you, and we love you, and we appreciate you. We love you, too. I love you. You guys have a great day, okay? Thank you, Monica. Thank you, Monica. It's a good way to start the day. I'm going to read from Lake Elsinore. Hey, guys. What's going on? What's happening? Not much. I just wanted to share something with you, and I had a quick question for you. First, I just want to tell you that every morning and for 28 hours straight, I don't get the money's worth out of my XM because I listen to you guys. That's rad. I love that. That is rad. Also, my question. Yesterday, that guy called talking about, you know, he fell on hard times. But, you know, obviously he hasn't been paying attention to the show very long because you went through hard times yourself. You bounce back and look where you are now. And I just wanted to ask, what is the typical day for Mikey?
I know people think, oh, he comes in at 6, does a radio show until 10, and he's done for the day. But I know that's not it. I know that you guys wake up mad early, go to sleep mad early, unless there's baseball on, woods. You know, so I just wanted to know, like, what's your schedule like? Well, I get up and I have to feed. I'm supposed to not have to do it with grays. I get up at, this morning I got up at 1. And I go downstairs. I make a cup of Keurig coffee, which is the single serving little cups. I put a piece of bread in the toaster. I make some toast with some butter that we leave out. Danish butter unsalted. Thank you. And then a little bit of apricot jam goes on top of that. I take that. I take that, and then I take that into my office, and I start to, you know, I pick out a playlist that I would like to hear. And I mean, you're totally gay. No, no, that's my dad. That's a sound clip of my dad. And I mean, he's totally gay.
Dad, dad, dad. Your dad says it, I believe. Yeah, he knows you better than anybody. He was talking about something else. He was talking about you. No, no. And then, you know, I do, I try to say, like everybody here on the Mikey Show, try to say happy birthday to people on our Facebook, answer emails, and then listen to audio, and then get a little prayer time in, and then go upstairs, take a... A very exhaustive shower. A shower that includes a lot of mouthwash, various scrubbing items, exfoliation, moisturizing, and perfuming. A lot of maintenance. A lot of maintenance, you know. It came off a little gay. And then... And I mean, he's totally gay. I know, Dad. He said it. I'm not, though. I'm married. And then after that, it's time to come in to work. And when I'm done with work, yesterday I went to see Mom and Dad. Came home, spent a little bit of time on the iPad, and then had to go to a shrink appointment. Appointment with my shrink, which is always hilarious, fun, you know.
And that was it. What about your workout? You didn't talk about that. The workout part, first of all, that is irrelevant. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. That's right. Thank you, Jay, for supporting me. I haven't got that in yet. I've decided something. I am going to get a bicycle. I am going to get a bicycle. Don't give me that. Why do I hear the Queen song in my head? The very corners of Woods' mouth just made... The face has 900,000 muscles in it. 900,000 muscles. And two muscles tiny just sort of made a smile on Woods' face when I said that. I can't wait. And again, so this is on at 1 o'clock in the morning. I think people... fail to catch that concept that you know hey his days are long too so he works just harder than anybody else to earn what he's got so good so good on you guys you know i know that's all of you guys i know all of you guys started early morning and i just wanted to say i listen to you guys exclusively over my satellite radio you guys rock that's awesome man thank you very much hey friends that was very nice yes uh it's a job of an m1 and that's why you know it's okay i love when somebody doesn't know because i get to tell you
And you get to tell other people, which is the way that it should be. So Herman Cain, he was on it again. He was on one again. And he was talking about he was telling Fox News about this sexual harassment charge against him and had this to say. Mr. Cain, when Clarence Thomas. was needed to achieving the position of high authority. He was hit with a sexual harassment charge. You contending for the presidency, the office of highest authority, leading in the poll's Republican nomination. This guy sounds like a ball. Yeah. Very dynamic. Yes. Very dynamic. I wonder what he sounds like on New Year's Eve. Five, four, three, two. Happy New Year.
Hold on, let me reset my computer. With a sexual harassment charge, do you think that race of being a... Has that guy ever had a tie around his head? Just drunk at a company party? One time. One time. And he's so embarrassed. Yeah! He didn't know there was rum in the punch. That's right. He just didn't know. to do with the fact that you've been so charged? And if so, do you have any evidence to support that? I believe the answer is yes, but we do not have any evidence to support it. It's racially based. It's racially based. I was just waiting for that comparison, by the way. I am an unconventional candidate running an unconventional campaign. and achieving some unexpected, unconventional results in terms of the poll, we believe that there are some people who do not want to see me. And there could be some people on the right who don't want to see me because I'm not the quote-unquote establishment candidate. No evidence. But does race have any part of that establishment?
A maverick, yes. What about race? Relative to the left, I believe that race is a bigger driving factor. I don't think it's a driving factor on the right. This is just based upon our speculation. Yeah. I mean, America has proved that they're racist. By electing a black president. Well, to be fair to Herman Cain, we've never drug up any of any politicians past when they've been trying to get elected into office. So, I mean, it does seem like a little bit, you know, like where is this, like a witch trial? Where does it end? Where's this coming from? 570-1949. That's what you signed up for. It's a tremendous point. Yeah, of course. Happens to every candidate. Yeah. So we found out that. Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce. The wedding lasted 10 weeks, right? 72 days. Who is Kris Jenner? Her mother. Her mom. Okay. Listen to this very bold statement from Kris Jenner. That is the most annoying is the rumor that she made millions off of this wedding and she didn't make a dime off of this wedding and actually spent millions of dollars on the wedding.
So it's not something that she thought would ever not be happily ever after. Yeah, but dude, they have advertising on the show. Right. It's dough. What I read was that the producers covered the cost. Yes. Oh. Now, maybe it was deducted from her pay. Maybe they did, but if she gets any dough at all for the show, well, she can't pay. Yeah. If she gets any dough for the show, she's getting paid. She does not do that show for free. Yeah. Right. All right, so Bank of America has heard you, and they say, we are not going to charge you $5 a month. Yes. Press Chesty in my pocket. We'll tell you that. Now, for the past month, there have been a lot of people that have been really upset about it. About 300,000 people signed an online petition to stop the fee, and what they said was 21,000 of them pledged. to close their Bank of America checking accounts. There was some news anchor on cable TV. She cut her card up on the air. Classic David and Goliath type deal. And they won. And so there's not going to be a $5 fee. And I say, if Occupy had anything to do with it, hats off.
Well done. Hats off. Well done. If Occupy had something to do with it. You know, I really love that people got together and said, well, you can't. Yeah. Because we don't ever do that usually. We don't say you can't. We just go, oh, this sucks. But we don't usually get together and say you can't do it. So that I think is pretty cool. Good news. Let's see. What else? Oh. The Chargers. Yes, sir. What's happening with the Chargers? Well, they've got the biggest game of the year coming up on Sunday. It's against the undefeated Green Bay Packers. It's at 115. It is here in San Diego. Now, they've got to clean up what's wrong with this team. 25 penalties accepted against the Chargers over the last two games. That is the third most in a two-game span in team history. They have been sloppy. Their head hasn't been in the game. And I'm talking dumb penalties. Dumb penalties. Not penalties where, you know.
Pass interference. I'm talking offsides. Neutral zone infraction. Crap like that that have just killed the Chargers. Now, traditionally, November. Nicknamed around here, Norvember. This is Norv's time of year to shine. Because typically, what? The Chargers are, at this point, 2-5, 3-4. And then they make their run. It's been a little different this year. They started 4-1. Well, now they're 4-3. And they're playing the undefeated Packers. Let me tell you a tale of two quarterbacks here. Our boy Phillip Rivers, widely, you know, supposed to be, hey, this guy's going to win the MVP this year. He's coming off a great year last year, threw for 4,500 yards. Well, this year he's thrown seven touchdowns, 11 picks. Conversely, Aaron Rodgers for the Packers, 20 touchdowns, three picks. Oh, my. Dude. He is having a monster, monster year. I want to say Peyton Manning holds the record at 31. Is that right? Yeah, dude. 20 touchdowns already? 20. 20 to 3 as opposed to 7 and 11. So under North Turner, the Chargers are 11-5 in November and 17-2 in regular season games in December and January. So if now is going to be November, we need it to happen, man, if history stands strong. Yeah. You know what it's so strange about is the psychology of it. How is the psychology that they would lose?
And then something happens psychologically and they get better. And then conversely, they do so great to start for a change. And then something mentally happens. Well, we heard Phillip Rivers a couple weeks ago. Listen, he goes, hey, listen, I don't know what I learned. All I know is that we're four and two. Well, Phillip, now we're four and three. And most likely going to be four and four after this weekend. Most likely. I mean, I'd say their chances of winning are pretty. Pretty slim. Because Green Bay's firing right now. They're firing on all cylinders. Yep, they're looking good. No, we're strong at home. I mean, we are strong at home. It's a home game. Isn't it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, I hope. No blackout for this one. This sucker sold out. Of course. This thing sold out. It's a great game. Yeah. It's going to be a nice one, dude. I'm sorry, LLB. There's no blackout. I know, I know. I'm bummed. 570-1949. M1 Robot. From Poway, what's up? Hey, Mikey. Hey. I'm pretty sure it was Tom Brady when he had Randy Moss that one year. They threw like 50 touchdowns. Wow, did he? Check it out, Woodsy. I will. Check it out. Single season touchdown leader. Single season touchdown record. I think the year before or the year before that was Peyton took it for like 48 or something like that. And then Randy Moss and Tom Brady during that. Yeah. Tom Brady. Let's see.
Oh, yeah, 50. Tom Brady threw 50 touchdowns. Holy cow. When? A little slow this morning, this deal. 2007. Wow. Peyton, 49. Dan Marino, 48. Oh, yeah, so it's been in the 40s. Kurt Warner is fifth with 41. So Aaron Rodgers, I mean, he could beat. He could get in the top five. He's at 20. He's at 20. Holy cow. Thank you, dude. Yeah, no problem. Have a good morning. Yeah, you too. They run the football pretty well, too. They've got a lot of good running backs, and they've got a lot of weapons. Their defense is good, and so, I mean, it's going to be a huge, huge challenge. Psychologically, that's what always fascinates me. I saw America's Funniest Home Video the other day. Love that show. I do too, and I think to myself, what is it about a person getting hit in the balls? It's always fun. What is it? Even my wife, guy gets hit in the nuts? She is laughing when a guy tries to jump on a horse from behind and the horse bucks and gets him in the nuts. It's one of the most painful things, but we die laughing. Even kids. I know it. When the dad, it's inevitably the dad throwing the wiffle ball to his kid and his kid taking this huge cut and the ball just right in the ball. Every time. Every time. And I...
die. Are there any of them that make you uncomfortable that you don't particularly care for? When I watch skateboarding videos and I see guys jump on the rail and then hit the rail or they fall on their shoulder or their wrist, it makes... It makes me pucker. Skeeves me out. When I know a bone breaks, because Tosh.0, they start it with somebody really getting hurt every time, and I'm just like, nope, nope, can't watch it. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see somebody really get hurt. I just want it to be a little pain, and they get better. Something get over quickly. The ones that thrill me are the ones where I go, how did you think? That in any universe, this was going to turn out okay. This guy with his wheelbarrow and three kids in it. Yeah. Running, running. Running. They're building a pool. Yep. And they've got pieces of concrete all around. And so that's a fun like four by four thing to jump the kids in the wheelbarrow. Right. Seems like a good idea. Yeah. And he hits one of these giant bricks and all of them.
The three kids and him fly over the top. None of the kids are hurt, but he is. Kids are laughing, and Dad is pretty jacked. You know what gets me? It's the homemade bicycle ramp, too. They haul out down the street. They hit the ramp, and it flattens. All the bricks fall out, and then they just... I like the big fat lady at the top of a slide and she gets stuck and then all of a sudden she end over ends down the slide. Yeah, the prolonged fall. Like a lot of slips and trying to catch yourself, that's the best. Fat girl at a wedding. Fat girl that falls into a table at a wedding is always great. Grandpa on a pogo stick. No, grandpa. Ella B., did you growing up, because this was a thing for guys for sure, growing up, one of the funnest things that a guy could do. is build a ramp. And part of the coolness was finding the wood, finding the cinder block. You find the two of them and you know that in moments fun is coming. Adrenaline and fun is coming. We gathered that stuff and built forts. We didn't do the bikes. Civilized. Stitches were usually not too far behind. I got more stitches in my chin. CJ, you were always that kid. And by that kid I mean...
The kid that took way more chances than any of us. There was always one guy that threw all caution to the wind and just didn't. I mean, he's the guy that would go on his bicycle off of the roof of the house. He was that guy. Never turned out good. No. Never. Sometimes it was fun, though. It was fun when you're in the air for that split second and then you're like, uh-oh. Yeah. The jumping off the roof onto the trampoline into the pool bit was our favorite. Oh, my gosh. That got pretty nasty sometimes. You did that with me? Oh, yeah, dude. At my aunt's house. Holy cow. Yep. Holy cow. Stupid. Donald Trump, you're always talking. Wait till you hear this one. And we are going to play catchphrase next. Oh, yeah. And so if you want to play catchphrase, what you do is you're going to pick a team. Team Mikey and Woods or Team L.O.B. and Jay? What's the prize, Jay? Today's prize is a pair of tickets to the San Diego Derby Dolls this Saturday at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. SD Swarm versus the L.A. Fight Crew. Call us now.
Heard on the Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. Matt and Kim. Delta Spirit. The Blackout Party tickets are on sale now.
Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM949. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean... Yep. Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered in tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number?
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and more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. So I'll say that sometime between now and ten. I'll work it into a sentence, and I will be crafty about it. And when you hear it, you've got to be caller nine. I'll give you a pair of tickets to see you can call her next Tuesday. Boingo, Boingo. That's right. Name that movie. It's not Weird Science, right? Nope. It's like that? It's like that. It's in that same area. I know what it is. I know what it is. I know what it is. It's something dead. It's got the word no.
Back to School. Rodney Dangerfield. I love that movie. One of the greatest movies ever. The lady from the ranch dressing commercial? Yes. Sally Kellerman. That's right. That is correct. So, gotta hear this. First, what did Jon Stewart say? Jon Stewart apparently really got the ire. of Donald Trump. What did he say? First, I'll play you Trump's response to it. Then you'll get to hear what made him mad. John Stewart gets away with a very, very racist rant about Herman Cain. Nobody else could pull that off. Where is Reverend Jackson? Where is Reverend Sharpton? Where are all the critics that if somebody else did it, it would be a disaster? He horribly stated in his imitation.
Have you ever kidnapped a baby? Well, other than the Lindbergh baby. Now, if anybody watches this, they will say, wow, that's amazing. It's not what he said, but the way he said it, the tone of his voice, the inflection. Unlike Donald, who's got the sweetest demeanor. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The sweetest tone, the sweetest delivery. Unbelievable. Anybody else? Deep, deep trouble. OK, so. What did John say? What got him so upset? John Stewart. All right, I'll give it to Fox News. They didn't let Cain off that easy. Have you ever had to settle a claim given money or paid someone because of a claim of sexual harassment or sexual misconduct? At the Restaurant Association. Now, outside of the Restaurant Association, absolutely not. That's the whole... Well, wow. The Restaurant Association is the one that they're trying... You can't just go, well, other than that, no. Have you ever kidnapped a baby? Well, other than the Lindbergh boy, no. Absolutely not. I've just done the one, but it's the only one I can think of. Is there anything wrong with that? What's racist about it? What is racist about it? Is it? What? Do you think it is? It made me a little uncomfortable. Oh. Why? I don't know. I'll call my OBF, my only black friend, and run it by him and make sure that him doing...
Black man inflection is okay. But you do it. I don't know what you're talking about. You do it. Hang on a second. I want to ask Justin Bieber a question real quick. Justin, do you think that Woods has ever done that? Justin, don't just sit there with your hair in your eyes. Justin, do you think? Justin, I have to ask you a question. Do you think that Woods has ever done that? I don't know. Well, Justin, wait a minute. First of all, you've aged. Yo, man, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, thank you, Justin. I'm white. Thank you, Justin. But I'm white. But you always say that you're black. You say that you're black. I am black. You do say that. We do lines from like Friday. Yeah, that is true. I don't know what you're saying. Trying to build a clubhouse. That's right. All right. Let's play catchphrase. Oh, boy. Let's do some catchphrase. Call us right now. 570-1949. Now, we mind meld, Woods. We got to mind meld. We got to do our mind meld. We're mind meld. We mind melded last week real good.
Explain how the game is played, Woods. Okay, so there is going to be, in the category of entertainment, there will be a person, a movie, and I've got to explain it to my friend Mike Esparza without saying the word or any derivation of the word. And L-O-B has to do the same with J. Then we pass it on. Best out of seven wins. Okay, let's see. You're going to be either picking Team Woods or... You're going to be Team Woods and Mikey or Team Jay and L.O.B. M1 Kaia's dad from Oceanside. Who do you want? There you go. Hey, what about Jay? You got L.O.B. and Jay. And M1 Alex from San Diego. You've got Woodsy and I, okay? Oh, yeah, man. All right. Hang on the line. You're going down. This is not easy. This is not easy. We're going to get it. Just hit next and start, right? No cheating. Jay, don't cheat. Just hit start. All right, buddy, you ready? Yep. Mind melding. Mind melding? Yep, got it. Never heard of this person in my life. Okay. It's a type of soup company, very famous. Chunky. No, the company. Oh, Campbell. Okay, yes. And then the color of doo-doo. Brown Campbell. Campbell Brown. Yep. What? Never heard of Campbell Brown. Me neither. That's how it's done. That's his name? Yeah. No, I mean this person. Okay, so we call...
We call Woods' dad M1. Hawk. Okay, so that's the second part. Hawkeye. No, that's the second part of this person's name. And then this other name. Ethan Hawk. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Black guy married to Jada. Oh, Will Smith. Yes. She was in Kill Bill's movie. Uma Thurman. Yes. Son of a. Oh, no. Old lady talks like this. She was the queen. It's over, Mabel. Oh, it did? I didn't even hear it. It was Helen Mirren. This week we're team two. Maybe we get harder ones. We're team two. Campbell Brown. You could have sat there for an hour and a half. I know. I wouldn't get Helen Mirren. There's no way to do it either. Okay, so let me give team two a point. That's right. And there we go. Dang it. Dang it. Campbell Brown? Who's that? Who's Campbell Brown? I don't even know. All right, it's time to move forward, you guys. Oh, God. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.
Okay, it's a movie with, I'm not sure if it's Oprah or Whoopi Goldberg. Color Purple. Yeah. This is something that a plebeian would do in a cafe. He would do a... Sonnet. No, he would do a poetry reading. Yes. Oh, wow. Cinemax. A movie theater. No, you have it on, it's just pay channels. Pay-per-view. It's three letters. It's three letters that describe this channel. It's a channel. No, it's a channel. Oh, it's HBO. Yes. Darn it. She is a Latina, like yourself. She had a unibrow in a movie. She played Frida. Oh, crap. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who that is. Gosh, anything? There's nothing. I mean, if you don't know who played Frida, you're toast. I don't. Hispanic. She's Hispanic. Jennifer Lopez. It was Salma Hayek. Ah. That's all I, I mean, what else you do for her? I don't know. Great boobs. We are not doing well. Team two, give us a point. Team two. We are not doing good. No, we'll get it, we'll get it, we'll get it. We're coming back. All right. Oh, you can't feel it. It's like, oh. Did you say one of the words? That's a boyfriend. Yes, that's a boyfriend. That's a boyfriend. That's a boyfriend.
Oh, God. That's a dreamy, kid. Why did I just stop? Thank goodness. It was the electric slide. All right, go ahead. I gave us a point. How about it powers the lights? I have to hit next. You hit next. I thought you'd know the song. I don't know the song. Here we go. All right, here we go. Here we go. I have to hit start. Was fired as the only female anchor from CBS and used to be on the Today Show. Diane Sawyer. Very cute. Katie. Katie. Katie Couric. Yep. I was thinking Lang. Katie Holmes. Baker. It's the big theater with the wraparound walls and you go watch it. IMAX. Yes. Oh, God. They are hot. Mikey, you do a really good imitation of this guy. Bill Clinton. No. He's a talk show host, Mike. Oh, Dr. Phil. That was pretty good. Oh, gosh. She sings I Hope You Dance, the country singer. Carrie Underwood. No, nope. First name is kind of like in Wonderland. Kind of like that. In Wonderland, your body. It's kind of like Hannigan with the red hair. That's her first name. Reva McIntyre. What? The girl that Mikey likes with the widow's peak and the red hair. Yes! Tied!
Widow's Pete. I couldn't think of anything. Who is that? Alison Krauss. Oh, that is hard. That is hard. Is this on like level 12 today? You guys like entertainment. It's the only thing we can all get. You guys like entertainment. Do I hit next? Next. Did you give us a point? Yep, I did. Here we go. Settle down. Yeah, let's settle down. He was the star of Shawshank Redemption. Tim Robbins. That's correct. The plebeian, what does he play? The piano. Never mind, because I said play. No! Yeah! Another point! Yes! Yes! Three to two. One more. We win. This will be epic. What is wrong with us? Epic. You won't win with one more. Play along with one more. Yeah, they get one with one more. All right. We get this. We win. Ready? Yep. Are you ready? Yep. Dang it. Jay is a big fan of this genre of books. So is your wife. Oh, Harry Potter. Okay, she was on The Real Housewives. She's a Latina. Was married to that basketball player that cheated on her. So glad she got that. Oh, my gosh. Come on, Jay! She cheated. She's little. She's on The Real Housewives. Jennifer Lopez. No, not The Real Housewives. Desperate Housewives. Desperate Housewives. I don't know who that is. Oh, my gosh. Adam and... Aunt. Adam and Eve. Yes. Eve Sal... Eve... Celine. It's the episode of Short. Her last name is like... Eva Longoria. No!
It's the same word as the plebeian, but going like this. So you're moving. You're moving. You're this moving. Poetry slam. Poetry in motion. Yes. You do this. The kids have it outside. Fly. Playground. Yes. Playhouse. I just had endorphins right through my body. What a comeback. I hate this game. Endorphins. Endorphins. Endorphins. It's the worst game in the world. Oh, my gosh. Hold on. Nobody wants to play this game. Yeah, what? Front flip. Yes. Stupid. You just did a flip onto the beanbag. Stupid. Oh, my gosh. I'm worn out? Yeah. Dang it. I feel like my heart's going to explode. Maybe I'll work out. M1, Alex from San Diego, you have won.
That's awesome, man. Thanks. Good job, guys. Hang on. It's the best game ever. I think we've only won once, L.O.B. No, that's not true. Isn't that true? I think it's even Steven. It's the best game ever. By the way. You guys are both out of breath. For what? Cheering? I know. Yes. I need like a paper bag because I stood up and cheered. Pumped your fist in the air. Yes. A fist pump and giving Woods 5 has worn me out. Maybe you should stand up more often then. Oh, boy. Ouch. Ouch. Not a bad idea. Oh. Okay. 570-1949. By the way, that game is available. Like, you can go buy it. Oh, yeah. Catchphrase. It's called Catchphrase. It's the funnest. It's so fun. Now, this is a conundrum. I know it isn't. It's the wrong word. But this is a mind screw for me.
Woods, maybe I'm wrong, but didn't you once say that you don't like going to people's houses and playing games? Yeah, I had friends at home that used to do the game night. They were doing game night. They always do that. Game night is fun. Have you not seen me? I'll get in a fist fight. I will get in a fist fight. He will get in a fist fight. With a friend. He probably would. If it's more than 10 minutes, he's out. Yeah, and I don't, yeah, I just, I like to be at my house. I want to ask your guys' opinion on this. Do you have to help your SIG other? Because when I play, like Rebecca is, I'm playing, you know, if it's one of those games where you got to take your opponent out, I got no problems taking her out. And she's like, I'm your wife. You can't take me. And she means it. Oh, no way. No, you got to take her out. You got to take her out. Like an assassin. Like an assassin. Kim loves to kill me. She's a backgammon queen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There is a game called Last Word. Matt and I used to play it all the time, and I'd always be like, I got the last word! And beat him every time. Guys, hate. We hate getting beat by girls. You get beat by girls. But not just girls like our girl. Oh, yeah. That's even worse. That's the worst, man. And he kills me in Monopoly, so it evens out. Yeah. Hate Monopoly. Hate Monopoly. You know why it kills us to lose to our girl? Because she'll bring it up. Yeah. She'll bring it up the next time you play.
Like four times. Nah. You'll be playing and she'll go, you'll be like, you'll win one round and she'll go, who won last time? Right. And you're like, you won't, yes. You're the champion. I'll say, oh, I'll go easy on you this time. Oh gosh. Just take them off and hand them to her. Do you want me to tutor you a little bit? You need a couple lessons? You would. That'd work well, me and Ella be dating, playing games together. Oh my, there would be like, it'd be a 911 call. Yeah. 100%. Come quick. She's losing blood. The game would be broken after one night. Be ripped to shreds. We used to play Trivial Pursuit all the time and she beat me one time and never let me live it down. Ever. I'll tell you the games that cause the most arguments between couples are the games... That there is not a definitive answer. Yeah. But instead, it's kind of a judgment call. Like Scattergories. Holy. Scattergories has probably sent people to prison. Oh, yeah. I guarantee. For sure. There is a scene in the movie The Breakup. And they're playing Pictionary. And they've already broken up. And Vaughn is yelling at Jennifer Anson so bad. She's drawing a sock. And he's like, everyone's guessing shoe. You've got to draw something different. You call yourself an artist?
He's screaming at her. And I'm like, yep. Identical woods. Identical. We're all grown up little kids. Yes, for sure. We once ended a weekend getaway early because we all fought over whether or not San Diego counted as a tropical climate. Oh my gosh. Yep. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. You and Matt Commerce, right? Well, no. Is that who the fight was? No, it was ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Okay. And there was like three couples there. And who said what? What did you say? I said that it was not tropical. Was this during a game? It was during Scattergory. Oh, my gosh. And the letter was S. Let's think. Let's think. San Diego. I do not believe that San Diego is a tropical climate. Nor do I. It's a Mediterranean or even like a sword that we used. I don't know. Coastal climate. It's not tropical. It is not. It's a coastal desert, Chris says. That sent one couple going home early for the weekend. Oh, my God. Because we wouldn't give it to them. Are you kidding? They left. Oh, yeah. He was like, no, this is BS. This is BS. That's hysterical. He went home. Dude, imagine the drive.
Oh. Imagine that drive. You're looking at your boyfriend like you're a weirdo. You're a lunatic. Yeah, you're a weirdo over a game. He's like, you know what? We were kind of like, I'm tired anyway, and we're out of firewood, and it's just like, I want to go home anyway. And obviously this is a sham. You're going to go home over... No, no, no. It's not even that. It's not even that. It's about the game. It's 100%. Call us if you have ever done a game. A board game flip out. A game freak out. Yeah, the board game flip out. We did it with catchphrase. It was a girl who used to work for me. I used the word thee because it was like the go-go girls or something. And she's like, well, you said thee. I said thee. Can't do it. Can't. If it's on that thing, you can't say it. But it's ridiculous. I said that was ridiculous. And I gave her the point, but the whole time she goes, look, if you're going to be mad, I'm like, no, no, no, it's fine. She was like, wouldn't give it to me that I gave it to her. Are you allowed to use the word the? I guess if the clue says the doors, you can't really say. Maybe you can say, well, they were the band that was. You can say the. No, you said the. You said the. I think you can. I'd never give it. I think you can. I wouldn't even have noticed that someone said the. I wouldn't either. It's so commonly used. It's the thing you come through when you have to open. Yeah. But you can do it without it. You can do it without it.
It opens. It opens. You come through it. It has a doorknob. Right. But it's not a part of the clue. It has hinges on it. Yeah. I don't know. Some of them are heavy. But we would have given him doors without the doors. Right. Or go-go girls without the go-go girls. That's true. So it's not really detrimental to getting it. It's not really part of it. You know what I mean? I love the game, the board game flip out. And I bet if you were to tally all the opinions up. Monopoly's probably the number one game fighter. How is that? I'll tell you why. Because the disputes will come over things like free parking. When you start to do rules that aren't written, and, you know, that everybody knows. The old unwritten rules. Yes. To me, it's the ethical, like, okay, I've got two of the three purples. And, like, it's not even going to help you. And you buy up the other purple. Well, that's strategy. Well, it's stuff like that. And you say that. You're like, it's strategy. Why? So you can't build hotels. It's just to screw me up. It's not even for you to win. And they're like, hey, if you want to be a D, go ahead. That's just weird, though. You're a weirdo. Yeah, you're a weirdo. Say there's four people playing. You're like, you're not going to win by doing that. You're just ensuring that I'm also not going to win.
You need to buy Baltic Avenue right now. You really have to buy Baltic freaking Avenue. I've got two out of three. That's a personal attack. Happy birthday. I'll tell you this, though. I can remember back being a kid and my cousin landing on Boardwalk and me going, you're just a, you're a jerk. You're Jack. Yeah. Like, first of all. If I wanted to, I could make a case about the way you rolled those dice because that was stupid. Right. What's this? You just lift them off the board? Yeah, what is this? What's this? You freaking put them in your hand and throw them. You can't drop them. You have to throw them. Oh, look at me. How many dice fights have we been in? You can't throw a dice like that. Oh, now you're going to tell me how to roll my dice. Dude, it's off the board. It's off the board. It has to be on the board. The off the board bit. M1 Sailor Dave from San Diego. Hi, I was playing this, you know, guess your partner game. Uh-huh. Yeah. And they said, what's your partner's ethnicity? She said I was Puerto Rican. I'm actually Mexican. And I started foaming at the mouth. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Because she didn't know that you were Mexican. And you took offense. Hey, listen.
I'm not from Puerto Rico. And my family's not from Puerto Rico. And how dare you? What if someone said I was Scottish instead of Irish? No, different. Why is it different? I'll tell you why. Because I eat burritos. I do not fry bananas. And to say that I do is really insulting to me. And, you know, my family fought long and hard to get to America. And I want to be recognized for it and for my heritage. Is that what it was? Besides that, I had just done a job over on Viegas. And three shots of Viegas. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. So there were all kinds of protesters and stuff, and I was dealing with a lot of Puerto Ricans being mad about. Got it. Got it. M1, Veronica from Escondido. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good. Good. So my parents and I, or my parents and my family, we used to go camping a lot as a kid, and they would bring us. board games. My brother and I were playing in the tent one day, and I totally kicked his butt, and I was probably eight, and he was five, and I gamed him, and he started throwing checker pieces at me. Oh, I was so bad at checkers.
They're throwing checker pieces at me and they're bouncing off the tent walls and everything. That's the brilliance of the board game flip out because the board game flip out is always anger about strategy or luck. You're upset about someone's good fortune or their ability to outstrike. Flip the board, it ruins the game. Because you're like, I don't remember where the pieces were. Yeah. It's over. The game is over. Was there anything worse than somebody flipping out, messing up the board when you were winning because they lost their temper, and then you're like... You know what, man? Or one person saying, I'm not going to play, and then that somehow ruins the rest of the game from being played. Right. Well, now we can't play. Well, I don't care. Sorry, I don't really care. I'm going to ride my bike. M1E. M1E. Ian from San Marcos. Hey, how you doing, Mikey? Good. Good. I was playing Monopoly with my friends, and I may not have taken the board like a ninja star and just chucked it outside. You chucked the board.
You chucked him an album. Exactly. Somebody bought the last Baltic. It's like you were saying. Yeah. You don't buy those. That person's just a jerk. You're a jerk. Thank you for the call. Yeah, I know better. I know better than to go to somebody's house and start playing Connect Four with them. Don't go to Thailand and play Connect Four. They'll kill you every time. Really? What is the absolute worst thing that you can say to a woman? Now, there clearly is not one option. There's many ways you can go, and I want to know what you think. 570-1949. And also, when's the last time Eddie Murphy threw up? He told a pretty funny story about it, we'll tell you. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text him, 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now, 570-1949. More coming up on FM 94.9. Countdown has begun. Only.
Three days to go. It's the official kickoff to San Diego Beer Week this Saturday afternoon at Liberty Station. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts presents the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. This is the ultimate craft beer festival showcasing all 32 members of the guild drink legendary and award-winning beers. Meet the Brewers, Stone, Ballast Boy, Green Flash, Hort, Carl Strauss, Lost Abbey, Manzanita, Backstreet, New English, Lightning, Mother Earth, Breakwater, On the Tracks, Hess, and more. And rock out all day. Help us celebrate our night. 9th anniversary with two stages of music. Performing on the FM 94.9 anniversary stage. Matthew Sweet. Telekinesis. Stone Foxes. On the local 94.9 stage. The Bloody Hollies. Dead Feather Moon. Family Wagon.
Advanced tickets for the general session are $35. This price includes beer and music. The ticket price will increase the day of, so get them now at FM949SD.com. It's our ninth anniversary and the official kickoff to Beer Week. It's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. See you Saturday. Get your tickets and details at FM949SD.com. Hi, this is LOB, and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation! Hey, Woods. What are you doing in here? What's up? I'm cutting my ovation spot. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm cutting my ovation spot. Are you using ovation? Yes, I'm using ovation. Wait a minute. Are you using the ovation that I gave to your wife? Every single day. Look at you. I know. I want to be able to say, Ella B, that my hair is longer than it's ever been. Stronger than it's ever been. I love it. Also, Ella B., I've got the men's formula on order. Oh, they've got a men's formula coming up? They've got a men's formula. It's an awesome, awesome holiday gift idea. Oh, that would be a great gift idea for the ladies to get for their men or guys could just treat themselves. Listen, it's the holiday season.
And you know what's really important? Is your hair looking sharp for these holiday parties? Absolutely. So go to OvationHair.com right now and check it out for yourself. And when you check out, be sure to select FM949 for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. IOP Dub! Delayed reaction. Hey, it's going to be a really big week at Dave & Buster's next week. And I'll tell you why. Because... My friend, Lauren O'Brien, is going to be hanging out at Dave & Buster's next Monday night. I've got a golf tournament. He's big time with the Dave & Buster's guys. So I can't make the appearance. Lauren's going to be there. And it works out perfectly because the Dream Team is playing. The Dream Team. The Dream Team will be there playing against the Chicago Bears. having a ball. So Dave and Buster's, it's next Monday night. It's a 5.30 kickoff. LLB will be there from 5 to 7. And then Thursday, it's Chargers Raiders. I'll be there from 5 to 7. It's going to be awesome. Dave and Buster's, if you haven't been, you are nuts. It's so much fun.
We shoot hoops. We throw footballs. We play Silent Scope real good. We play all kinds of driving games. There's all kinds of stuff. So if you've got a kid that's 4 years old, you've got a kid that's 18 years old, bring them all. It doesn't matter. Bring yourself down to Dave & Buster's in Mission Valley. It's 2931 Camino Del Rio. It is so much fun. The food is so good, too. Dave & Buster's Eat, Drink, Play Football. On the hit comedy Up All Night, Christina Applegate's mom comes to visit. which would be stressful enough, but she's also a shrink. How bad a mother am I? On a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being Jackie Kennedy and 1 being a confused gerbil mom who eats her babies. And Andre Brower returns to NBC on an all-new Law & Order SVU. Win or lose, it comes with a cost. Tonight on NBC. Tonight, starting at 8 on NBC7 San Diego. Then tonight on NBC7 San Diego News at 11. Fill your plate with good food and good savings. How to turn your salad bar into a bargain. Get Consumer Bob's penny-pinching advice. On Watch and Save Wednesday, tonight on NBC7 San Diego News at 11. With Mark Mullen, Susan Taylor, Laz, and now brand new Dagmar's Weather. Plus, like, watch, and win really cool stuff. Find out how tonight on NBC7 San Diego News at 11.
It might seem hard to lead a healthy life today, but it's easy when you practice the ancient art of on-the-side-ism. Let's start with salad. Just have the ranch, the Roquefort, the Italian, or the Thousand Island on the side. Put the mayo on the side of your turkey sandwich. And leave the butter and sour cream as optional equipment on your baked potato. On-the-side-ism fears no sassy waitress, snooty chef, or emasculating comment from a friend. And it isn't just a way around the menu, it's a way of life. It's a towel. So go ahead, work those long hours at the office, but make sure to have some playing with the kids on the side. For every hour you're stuck in traffic, make sure you have a minute of bike riding on the side. Zone out in front of the TV, but go out dancing on the side. It's an easy ideal to practice, but at Kaiser Permanente... We think this mantra of moderation can have big-time results on the way you look, the way you feel, and the way you thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. Just when you thought it might not happen, football season is back at U31, North Park's number one bar and grill, with the Sunday ticket. Every game on 20 big-screen TVs. Feast on an award-winning burger or mind-blowing nachos while cheering for your team at U31, and FM 94.9 will be there for Sunday afternoon football at U31.
College ball fans, we have $3 U Call It every Saturday, 12 to 6 p.m. That's right, $3 U Call It every Saturday at U31, your football headquarters. Website at U31bar.com. Why, Ethel, I've never seen a bingo night like this. Ooh, check out Norman breakdancing. I didn't even know he could walk. Norman, go, Norman, go, go. What's gotten into everyone? I spiked the punch. With what? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, fries, sausage, chili, and it'll liven up any party. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I put that s*** on everything. This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Getting ready for Small Business Saturday? Well, make sure to get your free promotional tools from Constant Contact. Visit ConstantContact.com slash Saturday. On the 805 northbound after the 8, there's a car stuck. You're backed up to University Avenue, and it's in the center divider. Imperial Avenue northbound ramp to the 805, an accident on the right shoulder, and a motorcycle hit a wall on the 905 westbound at the 5. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, when it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer.
Great prices, service while you wait, available Wi-Fi, shuttle service, and more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Tell me, what did the world look like to you when you first opened your eyes? Now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. You don't skimp on hair products. You don't skimp on haircuts. You don't skip on DJs, designer jeans, and you don't skip on your teeth. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On Anthem 94.9. Hey, this is Woodsy's Wedding Song. Today's his anniversary. They've been married four years today. Yes. Happy anniversary. That's cool. It's one of the perks of getting to pick the music. What are you going to do? Uh, what? Uh-oh. What's up, dude? L-O-B. That's my favorite thing Woods does, by the way. When Woods hears you say something under your breath, he'll go, what's up, dude? What's up, dude? I got a little glimpse of what the gift is. Yeah. That is an interesting look from a woman. And that is a woman over there. I want her take, actually, because I think that she thinks something is true, but it's really not.
Fire away. No, she has a look right now, and this look says, oh, I know exactly what is happening. Fire away. He's going to cut me. I promise you I won't. I won't get mad. Is he allowed to? She can't say, though, because... Yeah, I've already told her. Oh, Jamie already knows. I don't keep seeing it. He called Jamie yesterday to tell her. Okay. In a very romantic way. I do not know, so I'm going to find out right now. Fire away. Let me play the music. Go ahead, LLB. Yesterday Woods found out about a show coming into town that he really wants to go to. Yep. And so he decided that he was going to buy the tickets right on the spot. Yep. And then he called his wife up and he said, hey, got tickets to such and such show up in L.A. You can say it. It's in L.A. Noel Gallagher and his band of crooks. I don't know. It's in L.A. He's like. We're going up there. We're going to L.A. So happy anniversary. It's for both. Well, it's part of it. I got the anniversary gift. Well, why is it called our? Because it's for both of us. Yeah. You heard this? He said, I got our anniversary gift. It's our anniversary. I'm assuming she said on the other end, our? He said, well, it's our anniversary gift. She didn't say that. Well, that's great because it reminds me of a girl that I once knew whose husband.
for her birthday bought her a Bose sound system for their home because he knows that she loves movies. Right. Well... I mean, the truth of the matter is she likes movies just like the rest of us. Well, I know that Jamie loves going to shows. That is true. It's their thing. That is true. They love to do it together. Yes. And she freaking... loves Noel Gallagher. And I mean, no, like when I say... Wait, wait, wait. I want to know how strongly she loves Noel Gallagher. I want to know if she loves Noel Gallagher as much as I saw you loving Noel Gallagher yesterday, which is, by the way, on a scale of 1 to 10, a 14. Call in, woman. Right now. It wasn't so much the gift. I think the gift is great. They're going to have fun and it's totally their thing. It has their name written all over it. Yeah. It was just a little unceremonious. I'm going to get Rebecca an iPad 3 when it comes out. When it comes out, I'm going to get her an iPad 3. It's not the same thing. It'd be like if you got Taylor Swift tickets. Monster. Since you both love Taylor Swift and you both go nuts. Or Justin Bieber tickets. No. If you both love Justin Bieber. Hey, babe. I got you tickets to red.
However, Jamie actually likes Noel Gallagher. Jamie, call in right now. Rebecca likes. Rebecca likes. She loves Noel Gallagher. However, you went from pushing purchase on the computer to calling her. I'm going, hey, I got our anniversary gift. She was ecstatic. She told me last night she goes. You couldn't even print out the tickets and put them in a car. No, I don't do that. Well, thanks for ruining the surprise, everybody. But there is. There is more to our anniversary that she will find out about, I don't know, in a few hours. As soon as I think about it. As soon as I go buy it. As soon as I ask L.O.B. what I should do. Whatever they have at NPM. As soon as we go into break, I ask L.O.B. Oh, there she's calling in. I just didn't like the presentation. I was like, oh, come on. Listen, LLB, I'll tell you something. And you won't know it because you've never been married. Okay. Really? After four years of marriage. I want to know what you're going to say. After four years of marriage. You don't need the pomp and circumstance. You just know. Oh, and we still pomp. What did you pomp your wife? We're going out on Friday night. To where? It's her choice. We're going to the S.
We're going to go out to dinner. We ain't going crazy. We're going out to dinner. Long John's. Going out to dinner. And then we're going to go to see a movie at the new Cineplex, whatever that is. Hey, listen. Driving through Wendy's doesn't constitute. That's going to dinner. Mrs. Woods is on the line right now. The gorgeous Jamie. Hi, Jamie. Hi. Listen to this voice. That little southern accent. All right. So what's your take on this, Jamie? So excited. It's a weekend getaway. Okay, now here's my question for you. Here's my question, and you must put on what we call the honest cap, okay? Okay. Now, my question to you is, if it were up to you, would you have preferred the kid call you and say, hey, it was what? Let's get a couple tickets for our anniversary to get up to LA. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary, all right? Or would you have preferred it if he made you dinner?
and he had a little box and a card, and you open the box up after you read this lovely card telling him he loves you, and then you open this little box, and it's tickets folded up in a piece of paper. It's a receipt for going to the concert. Which would you prefer? A? A? Or? A? Or? B. Woods is moisturizing. Woods is moisturizing his hands. Nervous. He's so nervous. He's so nervous. Honest cap. Don't forget the honest cap. You guys, you're right. You're all right. You got me. You got me. She's so sweet. Listen, you guys, here's the deal. Am I an excitable person? What does that mean? Am I an excitable person? Yeah, you get excited. Can't keep a secret? Yes. And so when I got those, the first thing I wanted to do was tell her. He did. He literally pushed. purchase and then called. He goes, hi, dear. I'm like, guess where we're going? Where? To see Noel Gallagher in L.A. Yeah. Really? Awesome. Happy anniversary to us. It's two of us. Listen, I'll tell you a story. It's me and you'll be there, but you know, honestly, I love you. And that's a fact. When Jamie used to mow our lawn back in Texas.
When Jamie used to mow our lawn back in Texas. Babe, what was your favorite CD to listen to while you used to cut the grass? Oh, my gosh. Just answer. Oh, my gosh. Answer the question. It's in the question. It was Noel Gallagher. She loved it. Hey, babe, when you used to give me a massage every day. Yeah. What did you put on your iPod when you used to rub me down? That's it. Whoa. She loves him. She's so excited. Hey, babe, remember that time you fixed our roof? It's true. What did you listen to the whole time? Noel Gallagher. That's tremendous. Romance this woman. I think all women love... When we get off the air, I'll tell you the other parts of the anniversary. You're looking to the left. You're looking down to the left. No, I'm not. You're looking down to the left. Yes. I have, I can show you all. Okay, okay. I don't, you know the kid goes big, dude. I don't skimp. I'm not Jay. That is true. No, no, no, no. It's not about the substance of what you, because I know that that's right up Jamie's alley, and that is a perfect gift for the two of them. For sure. It was just the, hey, it's for our anniversary. You're right. I can't keep a secret. Well, but I tell him all the time, I'm like, you romance that woman right now. I do, I do. He goes, I do, dude.
All right? I'm like, okay. Dude, you don't know Odd Romance, man. Listen, I'm the kid. It was just her birthday. When she got home, there was dinner there. There were flowers. There was wine. I know what I'm doing. How am I going to get a piece like that if I don't? That is true. That is true. Good point. She is absolutely stunning. Yeah, she is. I mean, let me tell you something. Like Michelle Pfeiffer with breasts. Let me tell you something. When I saw that picture of her not too long ago, I said, wow. Yeah, topless. That is gorgeous. I can't get Woods. He doesn't care. I say that, and he doesn't get the reaction. We're all family in here. I'm not worried about you guys. Let's go to the beach. Jamie, we love you. We do. I love you guys. All right. Bye, I love you, baby. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Jamie, I got to tell you something. Yes. Rebecca, and this is like, I'm just using the opportunity because we're on the phone right now, but I would have just as well done it off the air. And the audience is like, happy birthday. That had nothing to do with us and wasn't entertaining in any way. Rebecca, did you already get an email from Rebecca? She messed up.
She didn't know that she can actually use the account on her own. She didn't know that. Okay. And so I told her this morning, get a hold of Jamie and ask Jamie how you do it, and then she's off and running. I can handle it. I'll be in the office today. Okay, cool. Thank you, Jamie. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye, sweetie. Little angel. Yes. Yeah, I didn't present that for S. What about that guy? When he says it, doesn't it creep you out a little bit? No. Doesn't? I am very secure. I mean, this guy, he doesn't even look at Japanese and German porn. He's like into Scottish porn. Like some weird variation of pornography. It's back room at the adult videos. Transylvanian. Transylvanian porn. Right. Where the Germans are like, oh, what is this? Great. Exactly. Well, that is sweet. Tell us about that. What did you do with the wine and the roses? That was her birthday. What did you do? When she got home. When was this? September 28th, so not too long ago. When she got home, there was a...
Delicious feast on the table. Now, listen, I didn't make it. I'm not that good at cook, but I ordered out. I had the guy deliver it. You ordered out? Chinese food in the box. Oh, my gosh. It was Chinese food. Hey, if that's what you like. Was it in styrofoam? No. It was on plates. It was on plates. I presented it. That's nice. And I had a massive bouquet of flowers. Yeah. I got her a ton of good stuff. I mean, she got these freaking expensive sunglasses, shoes, all this stuff. Took her to dinner also the week before. I go big. I just don't present. It was the presentation. It wasn't the gift. It was the presentation. And he walked out while he was still on the phone with Jamie. Otherwise, I would have gone, hey. But you put that in a card. Yeah. Also, when I took her to dinner, at the top of the menu, I had printed, happy 40th birthday, Jamie. That's badass. Yeah. And it was, after all the crap I bought her, after everything I did, that was her favorite. That was her favorite, yeah. The menu. It doesn't cost anything. Next year, she's getting a menu. Well, here's my secret. I'm not one to talk. Really? You just leave a card? No. Here's my thing. Hey, honey. You know, happy birthday. Here's this, you know, it's like a package. It's like a little box that they give you at La Costa Spa that they put the gift card in. Right. And a card. And flowers. That's not bad. It's not really romance, though. It's not romance. You know. You got to romance. How? What you did?
What you did was romantic. Here's the romance part. When you took the Chinese food out of the Chinese thing and put it on the plate, it became romantic. Like if you took your gift certificate and put it in a new pair of slippers, that would have meant... Because it would have meant that I had to think. Women want to know that you... And you did. Well, when you did the little extra thing, that's what took it from... mundane to romantic. From picking something up and opening your wallet to like, oh, he got a little creative with it. And it's so funny, though, because my birthday, like, she always gets me great, great stuff. There's no presentation, and I don't care. We're not about that, though. I know. She brings me the surf ride bag, and I'm like, oh, cool. Me too. New shorts, and I don't, but you're right. But what if she, you know, that's the love and respect. If she came in and she was like, hey, so-and-so's husband just blah, blah, blah, so feast. And you're like, what? Oh, yeah. Hard tea. Hard tea. Hey, just so you know, so-and-so's husband down the street just got her a blah, blah, blah. Oh, she never would do that. I know. I know. But given... Uh-oh, he's taking his belt off. She's ripping off the belt. Yeah. Get over here. But... You're right. Damn it. I know. I should. And it would have been such a better surprise. But you know me. I'm excitable. You can't. I mean, I almost just spilled the other part of... Yeah, don't. I know. Don't.
Yeah, don't do it. He's really having a hard time, though. Because he gets so excited. I get so excited. He was very excited once he found out the tour date. Yeah. Here's the thing with Woods, too. Woods had a really hard time with this. This is like a mantra for us off the air. We'll go, save it. I have a hard time saving it. Yeah, because we'll hear the beginnings of something really awesome. Like L.O.B. will say, so... Do you think it's weird that I said this to Matt and will go, save it, save it, save it? Because you want your natural reaction. And Woods is like, what, what? Just tell me. Just tell me. It'll be fine. I can't do it. He gets so... It's great. That's one of the things I love about you. I can't do it. 570-1949 is the number. Okay, so I told you I was going to give you this thing with Eddie Murphy and also... Yeah, and we had a bunch of people, but I yacked so long that we lost them. What's the worst thing to say to a woman? Number one on the list is... Hey, babe. I just... Just kidding. Kidding. What is the worst thing that you could say to a woman? Well, here's the typical ones. Does that really look good on you? Oh, gosh. Yeah, that's not going to work. Is that what you're wearing? Are you... Is that what you're... Holy cow. Oh, my God, LLB. You just nailed it. Are you...
brutally honest with your wife? Because I am. No. Are you not? No. And when she comes out and she goes, babe, I go, uh-uh. I will do the, uh-uh. I don't have a problem. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't have a problem with the stuff, though. I've never seen something where I thought, uh-uh. But she'll ask me sometimes which is better. She'll come out with two shoes on and she'll say which is better. I'm always honest. Yeah, that's perfect. She gives you the option. Yeah, and if she says, do you think this looks good? I'll go. What else is there? And she'll try something else on. Does that mean that you don't like what she's got on you? No, I want to see an option. You'll ask even if she looks great. And I'll go back to the first one. I just want to get out the door. The first one looked better. I go, that's perfect. Let's go. No, we want to know honestly. Yeah, because you do because I'm honest. Me too. We wouldn't solicit it. Like if we just wore something, we wouldn't necessarily want you to be like, I don't like that. I didn't ask you. Dudes do it too. Dudes do it too. You go. This is a shirt. What's up with this shirt? All the time. And your wife will go, uh-uh. See, I think my wife lies to me. I'll go like this. I'll turn around. I'll go, can you see my fat rolls in the back of my jeans floating over? Sure can. She goes, I think you should try a different one. My wife lies to me then because I'm always like, what is this shirt? I look like an idiot. She's like, no, no, you look cute. You look cute. And I know I don't look cute. I don't look that big. But I'm honest with her. She's never told you.
No, do something else. Once, twice, maybe. Wow. Maybe. I go, I look like an idiot in this hat. She's like, oh, no, it's cute. Is it? I go, it's not my favorite. Babe, it's a top hat. I'm wearing a top hat. This is a jester's cap, babe. And I'm testing you right now. It's got bells on the bottom. And I'm testing you. And you just said it looks fine. It's a new bit, babe. Yeah. I'm wearing a Hugo Boss shirt. With a jester's hat. And you just said, you look cute. Yeah, you look cute. I have track pants on. Track pants. Track pants. Okay. You're going to laugh. It's okay. I was thinking about working out. And one of the things that I want to do is hike. Oh, Woods. You should. Just listen. Do it. Why not? L.O.B. just looked at her fingernails. Her nail beds. Man, I'll go with you. Will you? Yeah, I will. He'll kill you. I don't want anybody to see it. I don't. I want to do it under the cover at night. I do. If his hiking is anything like his surfing, prepare for him to take you and then leave you. What else could I do for you? I'm not going to do this in front of humans. Never. I'm ashamed of the coyotes. The coyotes see me, I'm like, oh boy. They're going to tell you. They'll eat for a year. So here's my dilemma. So when you hike, you've got to wear hiking boots. You don't have to.
Don't you? No. You don't have to go buy all kinds of gear. I already have hiking boots. Why? I had to get them for something that we did. Probably some radio thing. Try to look taller. Oh, God, he just piles up. Mike is banging his head in this microphone. It's all red and bloody now. So, okay. So, I'm thinking to myself, what am I going to do? Wear Daisy Dukes? Please. Shorts. Shorts? Like what kind of shorts? We are going to, what's it called here? The place by us. Academy Chalet. Sports Chalet. We'll go to Sports Chalet. Authority. What do you wear? Sports Authority. You get these Nike mesh shorts. Yeah. With hiking boots? Yes. Maybe not with hiking boots. You wear tennis shoes. Yeah. What are you climbing Kilimanjaro? What do you need hiking boots for? No, but it's because. You want the whole look? No. All you do is wear just normal shorts. You're not doing anything special. You're not going on a 30 miler. You're going to go do like a couple miles. 15 seconds. And tennis shoes? You can go in tennis shoes. You can wear your hiking boots. I think the hiking boots are better because they have those big fat grooves on the bottom. It's dirt, man. Where I'm walking is dirt and rocks and stuff. Now, what do you call tennis shoes? Like a flat? Like a skate shoe? What do Mexicans call tennis shoes? No. Mikey, como se dice tennis shoes? Como se dice tennis shoes?
Tennis Jew. Tennis Jew. Zapato. Zapato. No, I mean, I really don't know what tennis shoes are. I'm being serious. Running shoes. Okay. Sneakers. Well, then why not call them running shoes? Why are you saying tennis shoes? Sneakers, which no one on the West Coast says. No one on the West Coast says sneakers. But when I think of... Like tennis shoes are specific. They've got no traction on the bottom. Yeah, they're white Stan Smiths. They're specifically so that you can stop short. And I think of every single kind of what you would call running, athletic, triathlete, blah, blah, blah. That to me, tennis shoes. Me too. Oh, really? Yeah. Or sneakers. I call them both. I do not say the word sneakers. I say running shoes or running sneakers. Running sneakers is like the same thing. To me, that sounds like calling galoshes. You leave your rubbers at the door. Have I ever told you the rubber story? I was interviewing Barry Zito. And he was in Miami playing a game. And it was pouring rain. They got rained out. And I go, don't forget your rubbers. And he genuinely, genuinely didn't understand.
And he goes, I don't like those. And I go, you don't? He goes, nah. I go bareback. Oh, my God. And I go, I go, I go, oh, oh, oh, wow. I meant shoes that cover your... He didn't even know they were called that. I meant boots that cover your shoes. You never heard of rubbers? No. Leave your rubbers at the door. You've never heard galoshes called rubbers? Ever galoshes, not ever rubbers. Yeah. Your rubbers. Now put your rubbers on. Okay, Mom. All right, Mom. Yes, my rubbers are by the garage. Yeah, either way, you shouldn't have said that. Yeah. Well, that's like a common funny thing to say, don't forget your rubbers. Don't forget your rubbers. So common that we don't know what you're talking about. I did. I don't like those. I don't wear rubbers. Feels true. Oh, wow. So we could stay on the worst thing to say to a woman. I also have a great email I want to go to.
And you're still listening for the word of the day, which is helmet. And when I weave that into a sentence, Caller 9 is going to see City in Color. Don't forget our good friend Jared at createyourdesignonline.com. He did our website. If you go to mikeyshow.com, that's all Jared. He did all of it. He does business cards. He does anything graphic design. And I mean he's turned down jobs to work in Hollywood. That's how good he is. So we have a host of things that we can go to next and your phone calls at 570-1949. Pop it in. Call now. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. The countdown has begun. Only three days to go. It's the official kickoff to San Diego Beer Week. This Saturday afternoon at Liberty Station. FM 94.9 and Napa Auto Parts presents the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. This is the ultimate craft beer festival. Showcasing all 32 members of the guild drink legendary and award-winning beers. Meet the Brewers. Stone, Ballast Point, Green Flash, Hort, Carl Strauss, Lost Abbey, Manzanita, Backstreet, New English, Lightning, Mother Earth, Breakwater, On the Tracks, S, and more.
And rock out all day. Help us celebrate our 9th anniversary with two stages of music. Performing on the FM 94.9 Anniversary Stage. Matthew Sweet. Telekinesis. Stone Foxes on the local 94.9 stage. The Bloody Hollies. Dead Feather Moon. Family Wagon. Advanced tickets for the general session are $35. This price includes beer and music. The ticket price will increase the day of, so get them now at FM949SD.com. It's our ninth anniversary and the official kickoff to Beer Week. It's the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival. See you Saturday. Get your tickets and details at FM949SD.com. Cricket Wireless presents Obvious Life Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take friends. You can go with whatever. Dude, can I move in until I get a live? Or the best ever. Take my car. It's too red and too fast for the likes of me. And when it comes to wireless plans, will it be unlimited dullness or unlimited funness with Cricket?
Right now, get nationwide unlimited talk, text, and data on the latest Android-powered smartphones for just $55 a month. Download your favorite apps and games like Facebook, Shazam, and Angry Birds for one low rate. And there's no contract. The choice just makes itself. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for planned data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Want to switch wireless companies but don't want to lose your number? Hurry and bring your number with you to your nearest cricket store and get an Android-powered smartphone starting at $39.99 while supplies last. You'll get a better phone, but it'll still be you. Offer in soon, so hurry in today. Channel 4's San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. Hey, it's Mikey, and you've heard the good news about AIS. First of all, the government debt.
They've been downgraded. The stock market is on a roller coaster. News of the economy is a mixed bag. Everybody's looking for ways to save money because it's uncertain economic times. Here's one piece of good news for you. AIS customers report an average savings of $500 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. I saved $1,600 a year. Now, how does AIS do it? Well, you don't have to call 10 to 20 insurance companies for quotes. AIS does it for you. They shop dozens of insurance companies and find the best combination of price and coverage for all of your needs. So give them a call today. It's AIS. And look for discounts to qualify you. Some of them up to 20% off. And AIS never charges you broker fees. It's your premium. is all you pay for. If you haven't called AIS yet, make the call today for a free quote. 1-800-777-4AIS or go to AISinsurance.com. Time for breakfast at Chevron Extra Mile for hot Van Hoot coffee and what else? Danish. Then my inner GPS kicks in. Recalculating. Maybe some donuts. Recalculating. Or a juicy Johnsonville sausage. Maybe I'll get one of each. Proceed directly to Chevron Extra Mile.
Take a break with a 16-ounce Van Hoot coffee plus any variety of Grandma's cookies for just $1.99 through January 1st. Products sold separately at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Looking for a quick, delicious lunch? Try Olive Garden's new panini sandwiches. For just $6.95, enjoy a half-pressed panini and pair it with your choice of one of four unlimited homemade soups or fresh salad, both with all the warm breadsticks you want. Choose from three great panini varieties, like grilled chicken caprese or grilled steak and portobello. It's our $6.95 half panini lunch, here for a limited time, weekdays until 4 p.m., only at Olive Garden. At Albertsons, their fruit and vegetables aren't just fresh, they're guaranteed fresh. If their produce is less than perfect, they'll replace it and give you your money back. It's just one more way they're raising the bar on freshness at Albertsons. This report, it's brought to you by the Nissan Leaf Tour. Come check out the Drive Electric Tour. It's sponsored by the 100% electric, zero gas Nissan Leaf. It's November 11th through the 13th at Snow Jam, San Diego. For more info, go to drivenissanleaf.com.
Well, we've got a problem here on the 52 eastbound Santo Road. There was an earlier accident. They cleared it, but you still have a backup in the area. Rancho Penasquitos Boulevard, southbound at the 15, an accident. Car went into a retaining wall. And they're waiting on a tow truck on the 78 westbound right after the 15, an accident over on that right shoulder. This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. When you spin, you win. Every Wednesday through November 16th, you could win a share of $300,000 in guaranteed cash prizes. One lucky spin will win you a million bucks at Saquon. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Surf-wise today, we're looking at some northwest swells filled in along with some secondary west, northwest, and a touch of southwest out there, too. Finally, some kind of rotable waves running in that knee-to-waste chest-tide zone up the shoulder height. Maybe even a few pluses at the standout combination spots. Semi-walled up the beach breaks right now heading into that low tide, but definitely some corners to be had here and there. Hitting up the structured areas a bit better as well on some of the rebounds. Reef breaks are showing some life, too.
Not a lot of energy there, but definitely a lot more line and more surface or more faces, I should say, to carve than what we've been seeing lately. And it looks like the smoke should fill in a little bit more as the day continues. So, so far, so good. If you've got a window of opportunity, take it. For up-to-the-minute surf report's forecast, go to surfline.com for surfboard repair and restoration needs. Go see Joe Roper and ask for the bird deal. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Anytime you're ready. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like watching guns and blowing stuff up. Woods. All I want is a crisp, sweet apple. That's it. And you can't find it. I can't find it. Every time I bite into it, it goes, Lauren. I write bad reviews about them online. And Jay. She'll go on a girls trip and I'll go on like a surf trip or something. But if I have a choice.
I would rather be together. Whoa, what am I hearing? Now. On FM 94.9. That's another song that would be really bad to be recording and somebody drops a ladder. Yes. Very much. That is a little Dido. No, no. It's Diddy. Yeah, it sounds like him. It's Skylar Gray with Diddy. It's Skylar Gray with him. She's the same girl that... I need a doctor. Oh, she's good, isn't she? There's your boy. Identical Mikey. Yeah. Diddy? I get mistaken for him all the time. I either get Diddy or Ray Lewis, but that's because I have a Ravens helmet on. You used to get the guy from Kid and Play with the big, tall kid, I think it was. I occasionally still do. Still do, yeah.
Occasionally. This is breaking news. I said that like Brian Gumbel. This is breaking news. We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this breaking news from Fox News. And I'm being serious. Teen idol Justin Bieber allegedly lost his originity and impregnated a young woman during a 30-second tryst. That's right. After a concert in Los Angeles late last year, according to a paternity suit filed Monday, the report states that Mariah Yater, 20, filed papers on Halloween stating that Bieber is the father of her three-month-old child. Yater could also be opening herself up to a potential statutory rape probe.
However, as Bieber would have been 16 at the time when the alleged incident occurred, California's age of consent is 18. What? Wow. I knew that was coming. I don't know why. So, there you go. Wow. 30 seconds. Yeah. 16. Been there. First time. Well done. Well done. Where's Bieber? Bieber. Bieber. I guess it's kind of a black and white thing, right? Like if they do a paternity test. Yeah. Yeah. Open and shut. I guess her deal is, well, this is what she's doing, I think. My opinion. If it's true. Okay. If it's true. If it's true, she goes, well, DNA test, prove it's his kid. And I'm in the money. I'm a billionaire. Yeah. Now, I'm going to do a little bit of time.
Maybe. Maybe. I might do community service. It's not rape if it's a woman and a man. It's not rape. What's the jury going to say? That it's not rape. Yeah. It is rape. It's not. Well, I mean. A woman can't rape a man. I'm sorry. No, a woman can rape a man. Listen, a woman can sexually harass a man. A woman can beat up a guy. Yeah. You can't rape a man. You can't rape a man. If you could beat him up, you could rape him. You can't rape a man. You know what? You can't rape a man. Hang on a second. If he's turned on. Hang on. I've never thought of this. Ella B., walk through this with me. Okay. And this is going to require you to be philosophical, but I think Woods might be right in that the woman has to embrace and allow and, you know. Accept. And accept. Now, that's why a man, it's capable for a man to forcibly, you know. But how does a woman. He has to be into it. Yes, but they could argue that she was older. She got him turned on by touching his elbow at that age. Right. And then whether you do it emotionally or physically. It's just that he's a minor. She forced himself on someone who didn't know.
what he was doing. Not only is he a minor, he's a child, dude. They call him a child. She didn't force herself. She did not force herself. You can say that she did it in a way. It doesn't matter. In a way that like, the fact that she was even there. Well, dude, if a 30-year-old has sex, a 30-year-old dude has sex with a 16-year-old girl and it was, you know, with consent, he didn't force himself. In fact, she may have been like, I'm begging you to make love to me. Oh, yeah. It's the fact that you're even there and engaging him. Yes. Well, in this case, I read the article, and he had sent a security detail out to get her out of the audience, brought her backstage, and he grabbed her, took her in a room, was like, let's do this thing. It doesn't matter, though. She knew how old he was because everyone in the world knew how old he was. It's so crazy, man. She was 20, and he's 16. Yeah. She shouldn't do any freaking jail time. Not a second. Well, of course. Otherwise, it's a double standard, bro. Fine. Double standard all you want, dude. I'm all for the double standard. You know, my kid comes home, and he's 16, and he's like, yeah, I slept with a 20-year-old dad. I'm not going to be like, oh, my God, you got raped. You got freaking raped. Oh, my goodness. Four years. I don't know, man. Now, let me ask you, Jay, you know, your son is 19. Yes. And you've got an 8-year-old son. Mm-hmm. Imagine your son, Jasper, is 8 years older than he is now.
16. Okay. He's only eight years older than he is now. Uh-huh. Got it. You have entrusted people to watch after him out on the road. Okay. And you find out that he's having sex with some chick. Okay. Do you go, hey, man, I don't care. He's a boy. He's 16. He had some sex. Or do you go, what the hell? Are they even, like, watching my kid? I don't mind. You don't mind? What if it was your daughter? If it was your daughter, you do. If it was my daughter, I mind. More, but I still think that it's... You still? I still think it's their lives. So if your daughter was a teen pop star, and she's out on the road, and you find out that a 20-year-old dude had sex with her at 16... I advise her against it. I think I'm against a 20-year-old dude. I mean, if it's somebody her age, or around her age. But if it's your 16-year-old son, and it's a 20-year-old chick... I don't have as much problem with it, no. Yeah. Wait a minute.
Don't have as much or don't have it. I don't have any problem with him doing what he's going to do. But you do have a problem with her. Because, I mean, I think the girl knows what she's in for. The dude is totally manipulating the system. Like, the guy knows. The 20-year-old is, like, working all the magic to try to get in there. Yeah. Making promises that he's not going to keep. He's taking advantage. Right. Well, the girl's not going to make him any promises. Guys are just looking for it. Girls are not. I don't think girls at that age. There's plenty of girls that age that are looking for it. I had a hard time finding them. There are plenty, but not as many. Dude, how many times have we seen the young, blonde, good-looking, 22-year-old girl? That's a teacher's aide that had sex with a 13-year-old student. But there's maybe 16-year-old girls, too, that are looking for it. Go on Facebook. Look at their pictures. You mean from guys? Yeah.
I wouldn't know. I'm not friends with any 16-year-old girls. Aren't you? No, I mean, I'm really not. You can't categorically say that the guys are the aggressors in this situation. Absolutely you can. For sure. For the most part. 120% if that's possible. Absolutely not. You guys are really naive if that's what you think. Really? Wait a minute. Girls are just out there trying to throw it around. No, guys are out there hunting for it. It goes both ways. M1 Terry from San Diego. What was the word of the day? Helmets. Correct. Yeah. That's right. You're going to see City in Color. That's right. Hang in line. Well, Ellaby, 20-year-old dude is talking to a 16-year-old girl, and he is backstage with her, and he makes sex to her. You're telling me that that is not him taking advantage? It doesn't have to be. You can't categorically say that. That's what I'm saying. But the reason I think they say that it's wrong, this is the reason they say it's wrong. Because they say at 16, your judgment has not matured. But that's why they're saying it's wrong for this chick and Bieber, too. They're applying the same rules. For sure. Right, but it doesn't mean that they weren't looking for it or wanting it. That's all I'm saying. Let's say this. I want to know this.
what would you say you're a jury 30 year old guy 16 year old girl they had sex and the girl is like i wanted it more than anything i've ever wanted in my life he wanted it more than i did yeah she wanted it more than i did and the guy is like when he testifies he's like it's true i told her you know i even left and she showed up at my door, knocked on my door. I open the door. She's in a robe. In a raincoat. In a raincoat. She comes in snaking under it. We had sex. As a jury, would you be like, that dude is going away? Yeah, but I would do the same thing with a boy because you should know better as a 30-year-old adult. A kid is very impulsive, hormonal. They might say that they want that. So with this lady, the 20-year-old, you are like... She should go to jail. I don't necessarily say, I say whatever the jury decides, I think is fair. But what if you're the jury? I need to know all the details. She had sex with her. She had sex with her. I would need to know all the details with a guy as well. If there was consent. Was there actual consent? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. He's a guy. That's what I think. This is consent. Exactly. And that's the deal. Like, dude, L.O.B., is there consent? If there's not consent, that means that this broad came in and she was like, with a gun, and she goes,
Lay down, Bieber. Yeah. And Bieber's like, no, you can't do this, man. Yo, man, don't do this to me, girl. Don't do it, girl. And she's like, lay down, take them off. That is not consent. And he's like, no, no. And he's like, don't do it, don't do it. And she's like, we're doing it. You're getting it. So you're saying every little boy that may have been sexually assaulted, they're giving consent? Well, he gave consent because it lasted 30 seconds and now she's pregnant. But that doesn't mean he gave consent. It was consummated. Well, yeah, he had to. It was consummated. But little boys get molested all the time. That doesn't mean they give consent. Now, and she's right. This could be considered molestation. Dude, he's 16. She is 20 years old. He's a child. If he's 17, he's a child. He's 18, he's an adult. I know. My wife's four years older than me. And molested me real good when we first met them. No, that's not what I'm saying. No, no, no. And guys, too, L.O.B., I mean, when you were 17, I'm sure you had a boyfriend that was 18 or something, you know? Yep. I mean. Oh, yeah. Foul charges. No, that's not. I had a babysitter. You guys are missing the point altogether. Go ahead. Jay said, if it was my daughter.
that was 16 years old and I found out she had sex with a 20 year old, I would know that it was the guy that took advantage of her and made her all kinds of promises. If it was my son, I would know that my son was a 16 year old and he knew what he was doing and he was the aggressor. And I'm saying it's not always that cut and dry. Isn't it? No. I'm not saying that it isn't wrong because it is. It is wrong and the girl's got to do time. Period. But what I am saying is Woods makes a great point when he says, I think you could even take it a step further. It's physically impossible for a woman to consensually, you know, like it can't happen. What? I think the guy is always going to be in unless he's been drugged or it's forcible. What do you mean? How do you forcibly take it from a guy? A guy's got to be in. He's got to be invested. He's got to be in, but at 16 years old is different than 48 years old. You can touch a 16-year-old. You can be a hot woman and touch his arm, and all of a sudden he's in. Not if you're scared. If you're scared. It's involuntary at that age. Come on. Well, I mean, you can touch Jay's arm, and the same thing's going to happen. Yeah, true. True. I mean, I tend to agree with her because I'll tell you what.
I met some 16, 17-year-old little hussies back in the day. Yes, that's all I'm saying. And I'm not even saying that Bieber was taken advantage of. I'm just saying that there are, you can't just say, if it's a situation of a 16-year-old girl and a 20-year-old guy, the guy's always wrong. And if it's a 16-year-old boy and a 20-year-old girl, that the girl's not wrong. You can't say that. More times than not. It's the aggressor. The aggressor, more times than not. Because I don't think a girl could. usually overpower a guy physically. Of course. It's Bieber, though. But you could coercively say, like, come on. And the kid, he's 16. She's technically an adult. He's scared. He's turned on because he's 16. And if the wind blows the right way, he's turned on. Maybe, but, man. I don't think so. Don't stop at 16. I'll tell you. M1 Don from San Marcos. Hey, guys. Hi. I have a 17-year-old and a 14-year-old. My son's 17. My daughter's 14. It's a double standard. Oh, yeah. A single dad. And I'll tell you what. First of all, anybody over the age of 18 going with a younger child or a younger teenager is wrong. That's just wrong altogether. An 18 and a 17-year-old is wrong? No, no, no, no. A 20-year-old trying to get a 16-year-old. I mean, that's kind of wrong depending on the maturity. It wasn't that way, by the way. It wasn't that way. Bieber saw her and goes, I like that one. Bring her back.
Well, and see, and that's where it goes because your girl's not going to necessarily do that at that age. I've already talked my daughter out of having sex twice. Oh, God. Because she's wanting to go out and give it to the guy, but yet he's not worthy. She's not worthy. Well, it's not worthy in the sense of they're forcing themselves upon a girl. A guy can force himself upon a girl. A completely different way than a girl. Yes, absolutely. Physically, they can overpower them. Now, you guys know my rap is, and I didn't do this, but I feel it was a mistake. I had sex before I got married, and I feel that was a mistake. And there's data to prove that I shouldn't have done it. Now, my question to you, Dawn, is what's your rap with your daughter about sex? Like, is it... Hey, listen, just make sure he's a kid that, you know. He's a good kid. Make sure he's a good kid and he's been tested. Or wear a rubber. I mean, what's your rap? You know, I just had this conversation with her last night. Oh, God. You got to wear, you know, protection. But it's more the stuff, are you actually ready at 15, 16 for a girl? I mean, everybody's different. I'm going to, listen, I'm just telling you, my son is five.
I'm going to start having this conversation with him probably about next year. And so it'll be something he's used to. He's going to have lived with it. All of my boys from a young age are going to have lived with hearing me say, wait till you're married. Guys, here's dad's philosophy on it. Okay, now I can tell you this. My dad gave me a lot of philosophy. Some I followed, some I didn't. But I did follow some of my dad's philosophies. So I don't know. I don't know. I guess it's up to each individual. You know what freaked me out about that is he said he's had to talk her out of doing it twice. I mean, I do think that's... What does that mean? She's like, hey, dad, I'm going to have some sex. I think, dude, that she's like, listen, I have a boyfriend, dad, and it's getting somewhat physical, and it just further proves the fact that I can only raise boys. I cannot raise girls. I have a 14-year-old daughter who's like, eh, I'm going to go sleep with Chad down the road. I'd be like...
I'm going to rip his head off. Well, there's no doubt that there's a double standard in that way, that you're more worried about him. Oh, my God, so worried. Yeah, and that you're... Because I know me, and I know the things I've said to get a girl in the sack. As soon as you say that, as soon as you say you'll rip his head off, she's going to go, oh, I love him. Oh, I know. Jake, I got a question for you. Okay. Because you've got daughters, and your daughters are cute girls, you know? Beautiful girls. And here's my... I actually wondered this about dads the other day. When you have a daughter, Right. How does your brain cope with it? And what I mean is you're a guy. You know what we do. Right. You know what you've done, what I've done. You know how we work. How do you cope mentally with the fact? Because you can cope with a son. You're like, you're like, you're thinking, you know, with my three boys, I'm thinking, well.
I hope those dads out there are talking to their daughters because these boys are going to grow into men with hormones that want to have some sex. And dad's going to tell them, don't do it until you get married. But who knows what they're going to do. How do you up here go, somebody? is going to want to make sex to my little girl when she's 14, it would stress me out. My heart is beating. And she's going to want it as well. Yes. That's the hard part. How do you do it? First thing, I never gave myself the illusion that they were going to be married before they had sex. I never even get bought into that because I didn't, I wouldn't, and honestly, I don't agree with that. Okay. Because I think that, you know, wow. What age, though? What age was? Well, you know. When are you fine with it? Yeah, when are you okay with it? I'm never okay with it. I'm never okay with it, but I also know that it's not my body. I told her exactly, you know, and a lot of it went through Kim because it's a weird conversation for dad to be having. Yeah. We educated them from the get-go. As soon as they were old to know what little boys have and what little girls have, we started having that conversation because strangers are dangerous. Yes.
And then we just kept educating them. We offered them a book. Here's a book on the whole operation, how it goes. Oh, gross. I don't want to read it. But then you just try to make sure that they're not in that environment. I mean, they're going to be alone with a boy at some point. And you're just like, hey, the longer you can keep yourself from doing that, the better it's going to be. I can guarantee. Why, Dad? Why? Because it's health reasons. You don't want to be that girl who gives it to every single guy that comes along. Yeah, but what if nobody knows? Trust me, boys are going to let people know. Boys are going to tell. They're going to brag. Well, why will me being older help that? Because boys mature, girls mature, you understand your body's better. Okay, good. I'm glad you told me that, Dad. What age do boys stop telling their friends? That way I'll know when to not do it. When it's a true relationship? They don't tell? Instead of it's just an overnight. Oh, I didn't know that. So when it's a true relationship, they don't tell their boys about it, huh? No, it's fake. No. Dude.
Do you remember, you had this, you and I had this conversation, and do you remember why? We were sitting at Wendy's. Weird. Weird. A couple weeks ago. Oh, yeah. That's when we had it. We saw this girl who was 16? Yes. Beautiful. Beautiful. G-Cups. G-Cups. Weird that you guys noticed her. Well, hey, listen. You couldn't not. Please. You couldn't not. Dude, G-Cups and exposed. Like, we were looking, we were sad. We were both sad. But he goes, dude. That's somebody's kid. She's with five dudes. She's with five dudes, and it's like, what, 11.30 a.m.? We are genuinely concerned and sad. We wanted to walk over and go, hey, who the hell are you guys? Yeah, what are you creeps up to? We're her cousins and brothers. In our head, I go, Mike, those men want to violate her. And even when they're older and they get married, I would never be okay with my daughter getting violated even by her husband. I still don't want to know about it. I never thought of it this way, but I think Jay just worked me through something, which is if I had a daughter, I would say, hey, listen, at the point you're cool with everyone knowing that that's what you did, go for it. Because I'm going to let you know right now, they're going to know. Yeah, but sometimes it was cool to let people know that you did that.
Yeah. Sometimes even in seventh grade. Oh, wow. M1 Sergeant on the I-8. Not her. Go ahead, Sergeant. I'd just like to make a comment saying that legally the mother has a right to file trial molestation charges against a woman, not Bieber. Bieber's mother. Bieber's mother can file charges legally in the state of California because under California law, anyone by age, anyone older or younger, If a girl who's 20, sleeping with a 16-year-old, doesn't matter if it's consent or not, a mother can file charges. Conversely, can she also decide to not file charges? Yes, she can. Well, I bet she ain't going to happen in this case because this woman wants money from Bieber and you know it. And so Bieber's mom's going to go, great, you're getting sued. 100%. You know what I mean? Wow. 570-1949. Phone line's blowing up. If you want to talk about it, call us. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. More from The Mikey Show coming up on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back.
FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Life. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Featuring Two Door Cinema Club. And Kim. Delta Spirit. Lockout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or fm949sd.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9. Time for breakfast at Chevron Extra Mile for hot Van Hoot coffee and what else?
Danish. Then my inner GPS kicks in. Recalculating. Maybe some donuts. Recalculating. Or a juicy Johnsonville sausage. Maybe I'll get one of each. Proceed directly to Chevron Extra Mile. Take a break with a 16-ounce Van Hoot coffee plus any variety of Grandma's cookies for just $1.99 through January 1st. Products sold separately at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. See extra value at select Chevron locations. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink?
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Jim, you don't mind me saying so. Your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. Ugh, it's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like, slicing torsos like carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. And the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh man, I gotta try alternative energy. Function Alternative Energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function Alternative Energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Cricket Wireless presents Obvious Life Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take friends. You can go with whatever. Dude, can I move in until I get a live?
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message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you? On FM 94.9. How did he say it? In what context? He was watching the TV. Jay. Jay was watching the TV and Susan Boyle is on a TV show right now with one of our favorites, Bill Crosby. from the Crosby show. I fixed it. He goes, hey, what's she doing with Bill Crosby? And I almost died. I almost died. He was thinking of Bing Crosby. Bill's brother. You mean Bing Crosby. He sings the best white Christmas I've ever heard. You know that there are thousands of San Diegans that have been ordering oysters and they can't... Oysters. They can't help it. Oysters. They cannot help... I can't help it.
My wife in the garage yesterday, I said something ridiculous like I always do. And I was like, yeah. And she started making fun of me. I said, you can't do it. Only they can do it. She goes, I've been doing it for years. I did it way before they did it. We stole her bit. That's great. M1 Carmen from Oceanside is calling about this Bieber thing because if you didn't hear, some chick says that he impregnated her with a 30-second trist in Los Angeles and that she's 20 years old. and he was 16 at the time, and she's basically opened herself up to statutory rape charges and allegations. This is M1 Lelady, is that right? Is this Lelady or Carmen? Carmen. Carmen from Oceanside. Go ahead. Yes, I think I've been listening to you guys, and I wholeheartedly agree with most of what you said regarding the average person. In other words, if there was a person that was 20 years old and a 16-year-old boy or girl, they would be taking advantage of him. However, I think you missed a point. In this situation, Beaver is being packaged as a seductive person. That's part of his packaging. So when did the seduction start? Did it start while he was on stage? Or did it stop that she seduce him? How did she seduce him? He called her back. No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Completely irreverent. Irreverent. It's irreverent. Yeah, it's irrelevant who's seduced who. The fact is, is that a 16-year-old had sex with a 20-year-old. It doesn't matter gender. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The fact is... Are you saying that a 16-year-old is not capable of determining whether he can have sex or not? Or are you just saying that because the law says so? Well, that's why the law says so. The law says that. Because it's the state of California's belief that until you're 18 years old, you have not matured to a point to be able to make that choice for yourself with proper judgment. Absolutely. But you can have sex with other people your age. No. Well, yes. I don't know. I think you can actually be prosecuted. Does two 16-year-olds sleep together? I think so. You can't prosecute anybody. Yeah, who's the rapist? I don't know. I don't think that one of them isn't a statutory rapist. But that's an interesting question. Because I think what they're saying is that somebody over 18 has an advantage with their knowledge and they're taking advantage of a situation. That sucks for her because he's famous. He has the advantage of sleeping with...
older women. But she knew. I mean, she knew what the law... You have to know what the laws are. Yeah. And she knew how old he was. You know what? See, and that's the thing that you're going to have... You're her attorney, L.O.B.? You're going to have a hard time proving that. Yeah. I didn't card him. Yeah. Well, everyone knew how old he was. I don't know. I didn't know. I thought he was 18. Everyone... How do you define everyone? Do you define everyone by everyone? Anyone that's at his concert and knew who Justin Bieber was, it was all over... You'd be hard-pressed to not know how old he was. I'm her attorney. I'm the girl. I'm the attorney. Remember, you're under oath here. Yes. Yes. I know. I'm under oath. Okay. So how old did you think he was? I thought he was 27. Why would you think that? Yeah, that's how old he looked. Really? Yeah. He looked 27. Who bought you the tickets? I bought them. How'd you hear of Justin Bieber? I've seen his videos. And you'd never seen anything that said how he came to rise to stardom? No. What I do know about him is he makes a heart with his hand, and that's what I love the most. But you were up front. Yeah. A lot of the people that jumped on those tickets jumped pretty early. Yeah. A lot of his fans. Oh, I bought them. Hey, listen. I bought them the moment they came out. Yes, and those seats that you were in were only reserved to people that were in his fan club.
Yes. No. Well, if that were the deal, you're screwed. Like, I love Kings Leon. I don't know how old they are. I have no idea. None. But everyone. 25, 23. The truth of the matter is, is that that is what you would have such a hard time. Hey, L.O.B., it's as easy as this. Please. No, seriously, check this out. You knew how old Miley Cyrus was. You'd have to be under a rock to not know when she first came out. I have no idea how old she is. And people can claim they are under a rock. Right. LOB, LOB. I think that there would be people that say, really, LOB? You didn't know that galoshes were called rubbers. No, I didn't. Well, if I was at a galoshes convention, I would probably have known that they were once referred to as rubbers. You know what? Do you think this was his first time asking somebody to come back? No. I bet there's a record proven that this guy is knocking it out. Yeah, it does. It doesn't matter. I think it proves that he had intent when he brought her back. He knew exactly what he was getting into. It doesn't matter what his intent was. Oh, I think it matters a lot. He could have been asking for it. But not according to the law. Not according to the law. According to the law, a nine-year-old.
A nine-year-old can go, I want that 30-year-old, but she can't have sex with him. But if I'm on the jury and they bring up the roadie and he's like, man, this guy is tearing it off. He's a hound. He's after it. But they could say he's a child. He doesn't know what he's doing. They're letting him. His mom knows what's going on. I bet his mom doesn't know. She's on tour with him. She's supposed to be right there with him. She used to ground him. Yeah, she used to ground him. She used to ground him. You can't buy that Jaguar. Stop sleeping with 20-year-olds, Justin. Yo, man. Don't stop nothing, girl. Yes, you are. No, I ain't. Listen, I will ground you on this tour. Get grounded-esque. I will ground... Get your ass back in your butt. Yeah. You know what? Detroit? Mama, you can't take Detroit away. Philly? Oh, my man. No, you can't take Philly. You want another one? I'll take the Metroplex away. You ain't taking DFW from me. DFW's off the table because of that. Moms. God. Moms. I'm only one mom. How come it's 17 in some states? I don't know. Why is it 16? Why is it 16? Right. Oklahoma. It's all states of state. Arkansas. It's seven. I'm saying the majority of the time, it's not. It's consensual, and it should be. If the parents are kind of approving of the relationship, then you probably won't have to worry about statutory rape being brought up.
M1 Tom from La Jolla. Hey, Mikey. Morning, class. How you guys doing? Good. Good, man. I just wanted to bring up kind of a point. Can you imagine the backlash and the outcry there'd be if Bieber was a chick and the 20-year-old was a dude? Of course. It would be awful. The famous singer chick got impregnated underage. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. If it was Miley Cyrus, dude, and it was a 20-year-old, you know? Yeah. I mean, forget about it. I think the law is pretty clear on... what statutory rape is and is not. And I guess my second point is, where are his parents? Yeah. Well, you know, and that's the thing. I don't think his mom, his aunt is at every show. I really don't. I think she has to be. I know in that movie, he had like a lady that was like his, you know, his handler. Sounds like this lady was his handler. M1 Weddle from Vista. Mikey. Hi. Long story. I was 16. She was 23. Yeah.
She came forward, said it was mine, sued me for paternity, and I ended up paying $1,000 a month. Did she get in trouble for having sex with you? Nope. Did your mom not file charges? Didn't. Why not? To be honest, I'm not sure. Oh, dude, that's a great question for mom. Did she know and approve of the relationship? Oh, not at all. Oh, weird. Wow, that is weird that your mom was like, was your mom mad at you? It was more like I was going to do what I wanted to do anyway. Maybe her bit was like, well, you got yourself into this mess. You're going to get yourself out. You made your bed, pal. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Which would be my bit too, but I would also sue. I wouldn't sue. I would punish. Not if it was my boy. If it was my girl, I'd sue to the lengths of the law. And then plus you're doing that, then you're never going to get to see the child.
Why? Because you're suing the lady. So it's like she'll end up cutting you off visitation rights. If you sue me, you're going to have a hard time being my friend. You think Bieber cares so? Wait, wait, wait. I don't understand. If I'm Bieber's dad and L.O.B. were to sleep with Bieber and I sue L.O.B., how am I not going to sue my son? I'm the mother of his child. Yeah. Why am I going to make him available to you? The court usually favors the mother. Unfortunately for the good fathers out there. You had another double standard. I'm going to move away. I'm going to make sure I move far away from you. Wait a minute. Are you saying that as a grandfather? No. As a dad, like the son. You're my dad. You're Bieber's dad. And you sue. Then I'm not going to let Bieber see the kid. Well, he probably didn't care. He probably didn't care. He's not going to sue the kid. girl anyway. You don't think so? Wait a minute. You guys can't assume any of that. Wow. He could find out he has a son and want to be involved. I know so many people that have had one night stands and have a total relationship with a kid. They want to. I believe that. Not when you're in El Paso for a night and you pick a girl out of the crowd and then you're in Louisiana the next night and pick a girl out of the crowd, which by the way, we were talking about this off the air.
My guess is that he was like, yo, girl, I'm a virgin. What's up? You want to be the first? You want to be my first? I guarantee. And she was like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to be the first to have sex with Justin Bieber. That's probably his bit. 30 seconds of passion. What if he's excited? He finds out he's got a little offspring. Yeah. I'm sure Selena Gomez won't be excited. I bet she's thrilled. M1 LaLady from San Diego, you know all about this. A little bit, yeah. And it's actually supposed to be LaLady, but that's okay, Chris. Anyway, just to settle the score on what rape is, it's the carnal knowledge of a woman without her consent. So you really can't convict on rape itself. Statutory rape is what it is. So the person who is being prosecuted doesn't necessarily have to – they don't have to know at all how old the person is. They just have to simply have had sex with them. They didn't have to know. Yeah, because you hear it all the time. She told me she was 18. She told me she was 18. What am I supposed to do? That's what Lawrence Taylor said. Yeah, LT. Yep, Lawrence Taylor said that. You're right. Yeah, it doesn't matter if she... It doesn't matter if he said to her, I'm 27 years old. Yeah. The fact of the matter is, is that if you had sex with that girl that...
The Green Mile guy is married to, who, by the way, looks 43. All right. And isn't that, because her parents signed off on that deal, he skates statutory rape charges. Yeah. Because they signed off on it. Yeah. They signed off on it. Wow. Which is a trip. Yeah. And also, I think it's kind of crazy that a guy can, which is good reason to not do it, but a guy could go into a high-end restaurant bar. Like, cool place. Meet a girl. There is no doubt that girl cannot be younger than 27. She's in the bar. She's having drinks. Yeah. Okay? She's got a fake ID. She's 16. Yep. She looks 27. And they go have sex. That is a scary proposition for a lot. Because girls have fake IDs. But I would make the argument, though, as that guy's attorney, that, look, I'm in a 21 and over place.
I would assume that if the bouncer who's been trained to look at IDs lets her in, then Hal might assume anything otherwise. She's fair game. Okay, let me be the attorney. I would say to you be the guy. Okay. The rapist. Yes. I'm the prosecutor. Typecasting. You met who you thought was 27. Yes. And I say, so how old did you think she was? 27. And you asked her and she said she was how old? 27. Okay. Now, your attorney made the point that it's only natural that you would believe her because, after all, she was in an establishment that was 21 and up. Yes, sir. And in addition to that, bouncers these days are trained. Right. They've got those lights. Yeah, and they swipe it, the whole thing. I'm looking at the jury now. They've got those lights, ladies and gentlemen, that they shine underneath the ID. Right.
And they've even got a watermark now. They've even got a watermark to make it even doubly hard to get a fake one. So I think that what we have figured out here today is that we had one stupid bouncer. That's one thing we figured out. But here's the other thing. It says here in the state of California that if you are over the age of 18 and have sex with a person under the age of 18, it's statutory rape. Right. No further question. Yeah. No way. I think you're crazy. I think if any reasonable person looks at her and she has a fake ID, she's in a bar, she brought it on herself. M1 Law Lady or any attorney, call us back. If there's a trial, if there's there with a jury, I would find it ridiculous. I bet it doesn't go to trial. He'll pay it out. He'll pay it off. He'll just get rid of her. Plead no contest. Well, let's say that isn't it. But in that particular instance. In that instance. Any person with common sense is like, hey, she's in a bar. There's a bouncer. If I'm on the jury. It doesn't go to a jury. I bet you it's so cut and dry. It never makes it to a jury. You have the right to a jury. You have the right to be in front of a jury. It's a jury trial. You have the right to a jury trial. Absolutely. They don't just go, oh, nope, you're screwed. No, you're right. No, you do have a right to the jury trial, but at the end of the day, you're a good attorney. He's going to go, listen.
I can say that I don't agree with this. Okay? I can say I don't agree with it. What does the law say? Right. And you as a jury, you as a jury have the... I'd be hungry. You have... I am hungry. Are you hungry? Like a tic-tac. Like a stylus. Baby's arm. Like a stylus. Like a tree trunk. Like a root on an elm. Like a pipe cleaner. Like a husky pencil. Listen. Minus the husky. What does the law say? There's a whole lot here. There's a whole lot. There's a whole lot. I'm 27. Yeah. Okay, good. Let's go to my crib. Let's go. Okay. Good to go. 27. Yeah, I think a good attorney says, hey, listen, I don't even want to admit to you, jury, what I've done in my past. Yeah. Yeah. However. It doesn't matter what I did. It doesn't matter what he did. What does the law say? Look in the mirror. That's what I would say to the jury. Oh, that's pretty good, dude. That is good. Yeah, and okay, again, what does the law say? I don't know. What does it say? What are you supposed to do? I'm not a mind reader. Was my client supposed to be a mind reader? I'll be the girl's attorney now. Okay. That is brilliant, Jay. Thank you. I would say to the jury, I would say, can I be that attorney now? I'm questioning the girl, the perpetrator here. Yes. The underage. She's actually the victim here. The victim. Allegedly.
Excuse me. Ms. O'Brien, I know that this is very hard. She's crying. I know this is very tough for you. Yeah. I know that being in front of a jury like this, being in this environment is probably very scary. Yes. And from what I understand, this was a consensual matter. Yes. You did consent to it. However, as my counterpart stated earlier, the law is the law. Now. All I'm going to do is I'm going to ask the jury to do two things. One is to take a look at her and ask yourself if you would question whether or not this woman is 27. In fact, I'd like you to question whether or not she's 29. And then I'd like you to look in the mirror and I'd like you to ask yourself if you would be prosecuted. Now, see, it's a ridiculous argument, but psychologically.
It works. I bet there would be an objection. Until I do my redirect. Oh, there would be. Until I do my redirect. Ladies and gentlemen, you've been presented with a lot of facts here today. The one fact I think that's being overlooked in this sanctuary, this hallowed court of law, is the fact that I hold in my hand the piece of paper that states the law. You've got to put emotion aside. You're a jury. You're 12 men and women that have been brought in to uphold the letter of the law. Period. Take emotion out of it. What does the law say? This man is guilty. Come back with the guilty verdict. No chance. No chance. Got to. You don't have to. If she's in a bar, you're assuming she's over 20. And she has a fake ID. If you're just tuning in, what we're talking about is just came over the wire that Justin Bieber... has been accused of getting this 20-year-old girl pregnant when he was 16, and there's also this statutory rape thing that's come up because she's 20 and he was 16. This is M1Andy from La Mesa. Go ahead. All right. What the law says, there's only two crimes that we have, liability crimes, meaning that no matter whether or not you knew you were doing it, if you're raped, the other is selling alcohol to mine. What that means is that whether or not he knew that he was underage is kind of immaterial.
far as the law goes. Now, that says law, churn out the law and follow the law in every single verdict. You know, a lot of the verdict and a lot, especially in statutory rape cases where, you know, there's a situation like you're describing, she was in a bar or whatever, where that kind of leads you to believe that she is actually over the age, the age of consent, then juries can do whatever they want. They don't have to follow the law. There's no law that says juries must follow the exact letter. They rely on emotion or whatever. It's the opposite of actually what happened with Casey Anthony. They took every piece of common sense and emotion out of it, and they never got past the fact that, well, we don't know how she died. Hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it. That's a good piece of information. I didn't know that. It's fascinating. Yeah, there's two things he says. It don't matter if you knew. Statutory rape and selling alcohol to a minor.
We used to do it at a place that called, I don't know what it was called. Everybody in Gilroy called it Vietnam Video. And it was a video store. It was owned by Vietnamese people. And they would sell you booze because they had booze in a cooler. And it didn't matter how old you were. You would walk in there and you go, I'll take a six and moose head. That's awesome. No questions asked. We had one of those out by the lake. And it was just middle of nowhere. And we're like, all right, time to make a run. And we walked there. My ID, the guy had a mustache. And I looked like a baby. I mean, baby faces it got back in the day. I had a mustache. And I was like, yeah. That's why I grew up. And he never even asked. No. You didn't have a fake? No. I had a fake, but I had a mustache. And you didn't even have to show the fake? Oh, I'd show it. But you'd go. No, cool. Just grow a beard when you're 16. You can buy a beard you want. I could have. I did. I had a full beard. Oh, yeah. We've seen pictures of Jay. He looked like the wolf man. He did. Walked right into the chick and go, hey, I want a six-pack of that. And some beer. Yeah. Okay. Do you remember that Muammar Gaddafi had a thing for Condoleezza Rice? I mean, he had a thing so bad. I mean, it was like he had a photo album. This is a true story. He had a photo album.
All pictures of Condoleezza Rice. And when he met her in person, when she came as dignitary, he grabbed her hand and said, it is my finest pleasure to meet you. We got audio of Jon Stewart asking Condoleezza Rice how she felt about that. You gotta have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world by the tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. On FM 94.9. This is the FM 9 Hunter County.
What's up there, Sparkle Kidneys? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Wednesday night, Minus the Bear hit Soma. Saturday, it is the San Diego Brewers Guild Festival with Matthew Sweet, Telekinesis, Stone Foxes, the Bloody Hollies, Dead Feather Moon, and Family Wagon. City in Color hit House of Blues with Hacienda next week on the 8th. Rot Rot Riot play the Belly Up on the 9th. And on the 10th, you can either see Black Joe Lewis and the Honey Bears at the Belly Up or head to the Sunset Temple. their four-day weekend with a Peter Wolf Cryer show. And still to come, Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Pinback, Wilco, Not a Surf, a rescheduled Boxer Rebellion show, and the Holiday Hootenanny, December 3rd, Jenny Creek Pavilion with My Morning Jack at Two Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. So there you have it. Get out there and take some show. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. You're home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle UNLV 7 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4 San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino Postgame Show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4 San Diego. M1 Bandit, are you there?
Bandit, you called AIS. I got fed up with my insurance carrier. They sent me a notice in the mail saying they canceled me if I didn't renew membership. So I got on the phone, stepped up, called AIS. I saved $850 a year. That's renter's insurance that I got for $94 a year with a $500 premium and a $25,000 coverage on that as well. How long had you heard me talking about AIS? Two years now? That's it, man. I mean, most people are just like you. They hear me talk about AIS, but it just takes a while before you go, you know what? I've got to do it. Yeah, and I've got to tell you, it was the best move I could have made. $850 a year is a huge savings to us, and I think like everybody else, we're tightening up our belts and trying to save money, and this is a great way to do it. They definitely saved me. 1-800-777-4247. Thank you, M1 Bandit. I appreciate it. Absolutely, Mike. You guys have a great day. You too.
Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. I got to tell you about the FM 94.9 pigskin pick'em. It is awesome. We have teamed up with Expressly Gourmet, and you can show off your football smarts and win some really cool stuff. If you pick the most right against Mikey, Hillary, me, and the rest of the FM 94.9 jocks, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. What they'll do, they bring restaurants from all over San Diego right to your door. Check out expresslygourmet.com. for yourself. Think about it. You get to go head-to-head with me, Hanson, Mikey, Hillary, and show us what you've got, okay? And then you can enjoy some of San Diego's best restaurants. You don't even have to leave your doorstep. Sign up now. Join in the fun of the FM 94.9 Pigskin Pick'em today at fm949sd.com. If you pick the most right, you can score a $50 gift certificate to Expressly Gourmet. From Expressly Gourmet and FM 94.9. Additional products and services will be offered for sale. Working harder but not getting ahead? The rich get richer no matter which way the economy is headed. Because today's times are filled with opportunity if you understand the new rules of money. You need to attend a free Rich Dad Education Workshop at hotels in La Jolla, San Diego, Del Mar, and Carlsbad. Based on the teachings from the best-selling book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. This totally free.
90-minute event will show you how to survive and build security. During these hard economic times, we teach why your house is not an asset, why you may not want to diversify, why you may not want to invest in 401ks or mutual funds, why saving money will never make you rich. These are just some of Rich Dad's teachings that will change the way you think about money. Attend this free Rich Dad education training next Tuesday through Friday. Sign up now at richdadradio.com. That's richdadradio.com. Or call 800-840-9409. That's 800-840-9409. Register now and get a free... gift just for attending call 800-840-9409 today frank's red hot sauce with cayenne peppers that's the perfect blend of flavor and heat all your favorite party foods like wings burgers ribs dips and more frank's red hot sauce i put that on everything time for breakfast at chevron extra mile for hot van hoot coffee and what else danish then my inner gps kicks in recalculating maybe some donuts recalculating or a juicy johnsonville sausage maybe i'll get one of each proceed directly to chevron extra mile
Take a break with a 16-ounce Van Hoot coffee plus any variety of Grandma's Cookies for just $1.99 through January 1st. Products sold separately at regular price. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy. Extra value. At select Chevron locations. Time to bust out your big boy party pants. They're like Garanimals, right? Mammoth Mountain Concert Series presents the Black Lips and Ra-Ra Riot at Canyon Lodge November 12th. Tickets are only $20 in advance and $25 at the door. Come out for the wildly energetic psychedelic rock sound from the Black Lips. Indie rock from Ra Ra Riot. This concert is part of the Big Winter Kickoff weekend. Packed full of events and parties at Mammoth Mountain. For more information and to purchase your tickets, call 800-Mammoth. Or visit mammothmountain.com. See you at Big Winter Kickoff. This report, it's brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Well, sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but which is a better kiss? Try it. Decide. Tell them at facebook.com slash chapstick. Okay, things are getting busy again. On the 78 Eastbound Sunset Drive, an accident over on the right shoulder. Another one through National City here on the 5 Northbound at the 54. And you've got some delays as you travel on the 94 Westbound. It's pretty bunched up from College Grove way to the 5. This report also brought to you by Del Taco. Get to Del Taco for the Taco Deluxe Seasoned Beef, Freshly Grated Cheddar Cheese, Crisp Lettuce, Cool Sour Cream.
Fresh Pico de Gallo salsa, five layers of fresh flavor, just 89 cents. Only at Del Taco. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Don't lie to me, do you lie to girl, okay? You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. And a little Coldplay. This one's called Shiva. He's weird to watch live. Freaks out on the piano. Yes, he does. Running around. Just writing on his arms. Mikey Show, hello. Hello. Am I on? Yeah, you're on. Who is it? This is Woods. Is this Captain Buzzkill? Yep. Where have you been? Camp. Back camp? No.
LARPing camp? LARP camp? It's not called LARP camp. Sorry, LARPing camp? It's not. It's T and D. Dungeons and Dragons. What? L of you can't let him get you. I know. A jerk says what? What? See? He's a jerk. That's a good one, Sinbad. Did you write that one? Did you learn that at camp? A dummy says what? What? What? I got you so bad. I got you so bad. What do you want? I want Jagger and Christy to be on your show. As a guest? And the rumor has it, maybe that'll happen. Never know what may happen in this crazy, topsy-turvy world. I would expect you guys to talk about Justin Bieber the way that he did. Why? Are you a fan? No, I'm not a fan. But I'm not a fan of statutory rape either. Are you a fan? No.
No. Just statue rape, right? Just statue rape, yes. You're a blow-up doll. I think it's wrong to have sex with NREH people. I also think that it's wrong for Woods to say that stuff that he said about Bieber and when he did that thing. When? When you were talking about when he got excited. I don't know what you're talking about. You were talking like a pervert. The erection? Being an adult. Ew. What's he doing? What are you doing? Cleaning my phone. Why? Because that was disgusting what she said. You mean the fact that he only lasted 30 seconds? That's a lot to CBK. About 25 seconds longer than CBK. Why are you so perverted? Have you ever made love to a woman? It's none of your business if I've ever made love to a woman. Would you kill to be statutory raped? Yeah, I totally would. You know what?
I have sex all the time with... Really? Yeah, I do. Not virtual sex. You're being a pervert. Yeah, now you're being a pervert. I'm not being a pervert. You're disgusting. Show off. I'm not being a pervert. What's his name? All by yourself? It's always consensual if it's just you. Yeah. Sometimes you can pretend that it's not. Yeah. No. No. No. No. No. No. Uh-oh. You're going to get fined by the F. Go ahead and call them. You're going to get fine. You're going to get fine. You're talking about making sex to people all the time, you said. That's fine. One of these days I'm going to move out of here and I'm going to be able to have a signal that gets Jagger and Kirstie. It's true. Atta where? Your parents' house? Mama's basement. Sweatpants up real good. It's a duplex. And I live upstairs. In the attic. Fancy. What color sweatpants today? Maroon. It doesn't matter.
That's a quick answer. Of all things, the sweatpants. Yeah, you gotta love sweatpants. And he don't like you to make fun of them. Nope, he doesn't. Lifeguards confirmed that it was, in fact, a shark. It was, in fact, a shark. My neighbor called me yesterday to go surf. I said, nah, I think I'm gonna pass. I ran down past the break yesterday. I saw a friend of mine. She was headed out. Just her head was just bothering me. She was on her way out to the break, and she was with a guy, and I said, have fun. Look out for that great white. And her friend got so mad. You never say it. You don't say it there. She's ballsy. You say the man in the gray suit. I said, hey, they're always out there. We just don't see them. Oh, my God. You never talk about it when you're in the water. It's like talking to your pitcher in the middle of a no-hitter. You just go, hey, do you know you have a no-hitter? Hey. Nobody's gotten a hit. No, no, no. They weren't in the water yet. Two things you don't say is you don't talk about the man in the gray suit, and you also don't say I'm catching one in because it kills the waves. What does that mean? That is true. I know about the second one. God, that's true. But that's while you're in the water. They still had a chance to turn around. You just never talk about it. Everybody calls him the man in the gray suit. I've never heard that. I'm with ORB. No way. I do not want to hear that when I'm running out. I would have gone so much further.
You would have? You're a monster. You're a party killer. I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure it's fine. Yeah, we're a party pooper. That's my humor. It's like when your buddy hooks up with a hot girl and he's walking out the door with you and you're like, hey, make sure you can get it up tonight, pal. He's done. Yeah, you don't do that. He's done. I would say this. I'm going to tell your girlfriend. That's so me. That's a deal killer as well. Just sure to check her ID. Oh, God. She's this many. You two are monsters. They'd be going in the water and I'd be like, hey, see you later, chums. She didn't know about it. She was like, what? See, that's why you don't do it. Ignorance is bliss in the water. Like I'm going to jinx her. What if she got eaten? And a shark attacked her. That was disgusting. A man in the gray suit. You've never heard that. It's just about the dorkiest thing I've ever heard. Also code for my wiener. That's a 20-footer. It ain't a 20-footer. Yeah, that's a 20-footer. It is not. Thank you, Mikey. Whoa. Whoa. 20-incher. No, 20-centimeter. 20-centimeter. You're still giving too much. That's fair enough. Exactly. We've talked more about that man's junk. It's true. It's called the man in the gray suits. The old gray wolf.
Percentage of chance that that now becomes known as the man in the gray suit. He's going to come home to Kim. Hey, hello. Shark attack. Shark attack. Maybe you want to go to bacon. Looks like a bluegill attack. I think I see a seal. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yes. Yes. Hun, can you please not refer to that area as a seal? Yeah. That'd be great. Pop that seal. I thought I went off pretty much. What's a seal? The hell is a seal? It's like a Navy seal. Navy seal. Navy Seal. A window seal. Window seal. It's a window seal. Oh, sorry. Oh, man. I got one. California sea lion and a harbor seal. We're caught up. Speak it up. I can't tell the story. I can't. I can't. Come on. Code word for woods is junk. Sea lion. Sea lion. It's more of a cheetah. Yeah. Great sounding lion. Shut up.
Better. Better. Identical lion. Identical. California sea lion and harbor seal were caught up in fishing lines a little bit over two weeks ago. They were returned to the ocean Tuesday after being nursed back to health by SeaWorld. Yay. Pretty cool. Well done, SeaWorld people. Nice job out there. Congratulations. Now. The sad truth of the matter is they probably survived 15 minutes before being eaten by a great white shark. That's a true statement. True story. It's a food chain. A food chain. Yeah. Gosh darn, is there anything scarier than a fish that weighs as much as a VW biting you? Sharp teeth. Rows and rows and rows of sharp teeth. And it just rips. Dead eyes. I bet when it bites you, bet you don't feel a thing. Not a thing. Honestly. You're in shock. Not a thing. In fact, I want to talk to a shark attack survivor and ask him, that would be my question towards the end, is I would say, at what point did you start to feel it? Because for a while, I know you didn't. You don't. Oh, God. The fact that it hits you two and then disappears and kind of lets you bleed out, just waiting for you to die. Well, yeah, it's not, though, because it figures out that you're not what it wants and it goes away. It depends on what shark it is. Yeah. Great. Well, it's a man-eater. Well. No. No, no, no. It's not.
They call it that because any shark that will attack a human is called a man-eater. It doesn't mean that they actually eat man. That's not what they feed on them. I think the tiger shark is actually more aggressive. Yes. It's also Elton John's nickname. That is 100% right. The tiger shark, are they known as the garbage disposal of the ocean? They'll eat anything. They'll eat trash. No, I think it's the tiger shark. One of them, and that's why you don't want to mess with that. Well, did you guys ever see the movie Open Water? Yes. Petrified. Oh, that couple. Did you see it? No, but I heard of it. True story. I'm sorry. True story. If you never heard, they took a couple. A couple were on vacation, and they were on a diving expedition. And, you know, they did what every tourist does. They paid a few bucks, got on the boat, and went out to go diving. They were at the Great Barrier Reef, right? I don't know. I thought they were because when I went to the Great Barrier Reef and I went snorkeling there, someone on the boat decided to tell that story. Yeah. Right before we went out. Just like you did to your friend yesterday. Now, that wouldn't have got me, and I'll tell you why it wouldn't get me. It wouldn't get me because what they did was stupid. Yes. What they did was stupid. So they go out on this diving expedition. And while they're diving, they decide that they want to dive a little bit longer. Even though...
They're telling everybody, let's go, let's go. And they just wanted a couple more minutes. And they come up, and the boat is leaving. And they're screaming at the boat, but the boat's engines are going, the water's churning up, and they're moving away, and they're in the wake of the boat leaving. And they're thinking to themselves, well, this is easy. I mean, it sucks, but it's easy. As soon as they get back, they're going to do a count. And they're going to realize that they left two people behind. They're going to, you know, the equipment, all of that as they hand over the equipment. They're going to figure out we screwed this up. Oh, boy. And so an hour goes by and then another hour. And they're thinking to themselves, gosh, darn it. We're going to get sun burnt. They're floating. They're floating. Now it's starting to turn into sunset. Feeding time. Now, by sunset.
Now your mind is starting to ask yourself, did they forget? Did they not? Did they screw it up? Did they get the count wrong? And you're floating and you don't see land. And all you got is moonlight. And below you, all there is, is depth. And all you can think about is depth. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep water. And your adrenaline's going. And now you're getting scared. And you're not scared. Like an adult. You're scared just like you were. When you were eight. It touches that same part of you. That was afraid that way. And so. I don't remember who got it first. But oh I remember. Oh oh oh. He puts his goggles on. No. Why would he do that? He puts his goggles on. And he wants to see. What is hitting them. Because something's hitting him. And he puts his goggles on.
And he looks underwater, and he immediately comes back up, and he doesn't want to tell her that there's not tens. There's hundreds, hundreds of sharks underneath them, swirling around. Hundreds of them. And he doesn't want to tell her. I can't remember. Are they holding on to something? They're holding on to each other. Just each other. Just each other. For warmth. I mean, that's a really scary story. But that show, have you guys ever seen that show, I Shouldn't Be Alive? Yes. Oh man, is that a good show. This episode was so good, I ordered it and I have it. Weird. I know. But it was that good, man. And it's still, to this day, Rebecca and I, whenever anything is bad, we go, is it worse than the shark story? Because we always call it the shark story on I Shouldn't Be Alive.
They're in a boat. They're way off of the coast of South Carolina. And there's a huge storm. And it capsizes the boat. And they're in one of those big inflatable rafts. And one of the girls, as the boat was capsizing, she cut her leg. And so her leg is bleeding in the big inflatable. That blood is making its way somehow into the water. Now, the average shark can sense blood in the water from two miles. Oh, my God. The sensors inside of the shark's nose can sense blood in the water from two miles. Shut up. Yeah. And so. Identical shark.
Over the course of the next few days, because they were out there, I want to say they were out there about six days. It was many days. In that freaking raft. In that raft. No food, no water. No food, no water. How many people total are in there? Six. Six, okay. Six days, six people. Six days, six people. And they're dealing with sunburn bad. Bad. I mean, I'm talking bad. God bless. And so they're trying to keep under wet t-shirts, stuff like that, to keep themselves from getting burnt. And they're getting so thirsty that some of them decide that they're going to drink seawater. Oh, no. Never a good plan. You can't. Can't do it. It makes you more thirsty, and it also makes you start to get delirious. And so they did, and one of the guys thought that he saw a 7-Eleven in the water. And he wanted to go to it and get something to drink because he was delirious. And they were saying, you're crazy. You're going through delirium from drinking that water. Don't get out of this boat. And he dove into the water. And as soon as he got in that water, they tore him up. Oh, my gosh. Shut up. He tried to get back into the raft. Oh, my gosh. And as they were trying to pull him up, they couldn't because the sharks were tearing him apart. And they had to let him go.
So now there's a few of them left, including the girl with the busted leg that's now starting to be infected. So the water in the boat is fetid. They can't drink it. Even the condensation that had turned into fresh water, they can't drink it. It's fetid. So one by one, they start to babble. They start to drink that water one by one. And they're going, are you crazy? You saw what happened to so-and-so. Are you crazy? And they're dying of thirst. So they're drinking it. And it's basically suicide because they go crazy. And before you know it, they're out. And it's two people left, a guy and a girl. Out of all those people, there's a guy and a girl left. They had to throw that girl. She died in the boat. With the leg? With the leg. They had to throw her overboard. And the survivor girl, she said, the worst thing.
And her eyes tear up when she tells this part of the story. She says, the worst thing she said is that she was dead. She said, but the worst thing was that you couldn't escape the noise. You couldn't escape the noise. Of the sharks ripping her down. Even though she's dead, even though she's dead, you can't escape that. And so, guy and the girl are left. The guy and the girl are left. And the sharks start to... Bang the side of the boat. Oh, gosh. I mean, that's why I say, to this day, we still go, is it worse than the shark story? There's nothing. Is it worse than the shark story? You're out there how many days? And they're now beating on the boat because they know you're in there. Yeah, they want more. How do you have a normal life after that? I know. Like, how do you mentally? Yeah. You have a needle hanging out of your arm. You'd be like, all right, I understand. Oh, you're the girl from the shark day. Yeah.
You're fine. How do you take a shower? I can't get you. I wouldn't be able to get in the water. So dude stands up because he wants to try to hold the boat up because he's getting scared, and it knocks him into the water. Get out of town. He hasn't eaten. He hasn't drank. He has no energy. But he grabs onto the side of the boat, and the show's great because they show you how that crazy superhero adrenaline works. Have you ever heard of that one? Oh, yeah, of course. The thing that allows people to lift cars. And she got it and she went and ripped him out of the water. Like that? Yeah. The next day they wake up and they see a Russian fishing vessel and they don't have the strength to even wave. And the fishing vessel sees them and comes up alongside them and rescues them. And they didn't have enough energy to help themselves into the boat. And they interview them now, totally normal people. They looked, I mean, at the time, they were emaciated. They were just absolutely delirious. They did not drink that salt water. But they had to watch. And one of the things that was a little bit of a whew is that most of them weren't friends. Most of them had got on that boat because it was like a good deal.
And, like, you got to party. It was like a party boat. Right. You know? Like a pontoon boat or something. Dude, it is riveting. And it's just like, I remember Rebecca and I watching it, and our jaws were dropped the whole time. And we will still say, is it worse than the shark story? Nothing is. No. Nothing's worse than that. Nothing's worse. You know what that doesn't happen to? Yeah. Playing PlayStation. Building Dynasty. You've been on a boat before. Everyone's been on a boat. Not in the ocean. Missing out. Yeah, it's a blast. Sounds great. I don't surf. Doesn't happen to everybody. No. It's very, very slim chance. It's not because you're scared of sharks. It's safe to surf this beach, Captain. It's safe to surf this beach. This is. Is. Dead. L.O.B., I'm going to have you save your answer until we get back, and I want people to call 570-1949. And, oh, actually.
Keep these calls. Chris, keep these calls. Great calls. 570-1949. They're calling about this stuff. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. And Kim. Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or fm949sd.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Opta. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation.
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To find out more, visit NavyFederal.org. It's the best week ever at HalfPriceSanDiego.com with 50% off to GTM Discount General stores with locations in Santee and Lemon Grove. GTM was voted San Diego's number one discount store, saving you up to 30% to 70% off quality brand-named items. GTM buys overstocks, closeouts, and discounted national brand merchandise from large-chain retailers and resells them to you for huge savings. Find GTM's weekly in-store specials and coupons at GTM. Now that you've saved all that money at GTM, you have some cash to throw around at the first annual Day of the Dead party at Maria Maria inspired Mexican cuisine in Mission Valley. The Dia de los Muertos party is so big, it is two nights long. This Tuesday and Wednesday from 5 to 11, Maria Maria is featuring artists, specialty cocktails, live music, tequila tastings, and more. So come experience a traditional Dia de los Muertos party at Maria Maria this Tuesday and Wednesday night. Always check out HalfPriceSanDiego.com for great deals all over town. This report, it's brought to you by the Nissan Leaf Tour. Come check out the Drive Electric Tour. It's sponsored by the 100% electric zero gas Nissan Leaf. It's November 11th through the 13th at Snow Jam, San Diego. For more info, go to DriveNissanLeaf.com.
Well, it looks like we've got a problem here on the 78 eastbound Sunset Drive. It's an accident on the right shoulder. They do have a tow truck on the scene. In National City, the 5 northbound at the 54, there's an accident sitting there on the right shoulder. Carlsbad's tied up with a multi-vehicle crash, four cars. The 5 southbound Cannon Road, it is over on that right shoulder. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. When it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Great prices, service while you wait, available Wi-Fi, shuttle service, and more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I stole it from that. On FM 94.9. This song will be performed live in the FM 94.9 studios Tuesday. Yes. I found out Dallas Green, who is City in Color, that's why it's Dallas, City, Color, Green. It is. This guy, Dallas Green, he doesn't do, he doesn't perform in the morning. He's making an exception for us.
Wow. I wonder if I, because on the air when we interviewed him, I told him I'd get him a Moon's Over My Hammy from Denny's. I think I will get him one. Won't he be uncomfortable if he doesn't want to eat it? Yes. But then I'll eat it. But then he'll feel obligated. So you're saying, I shouldn't. I wouldn't. We can ask him, is there anything we can get you, sir? A Moon's Over My Hammy. Perhaps. And maybe he'll be like, yeah, I'll take one A. Yeah, I'd love an A. Get some of this. She's known in the business. It's a perfect chorus. Perfect. Why do I love it so much? I love it. The layers and just beautiful. We're talking about shark attacks. M1 Tim on the 805. You there? Yeah, I was just wondering if you guys heard the story about the USS Indianapolis. Oh, God. Shark attack. Ever. Not only have I heard about it, I've interviewed a guy named Adolfo Salaya, who was actually aboard the Indianapolis. Oh, boy. And survived, obviously.
Because I interviewed him. I worked in Chicago for a little while, and I got to interview a few of those guys, and a couple of them that had actually been bit and sat in the water. I heard your question earlier about how you were wondering at what point did they actually start to feel it. And one of the guys said that they didn't even feel it until he actually got pulled into a life raft, and it actually started to dry once the air hit it. I'll see you guys in the morning, 6 o'clock sharp. I'll be here. That took all the air out of me right there. Wow. Oh my gosh. That's it. That's some creepy stuff right there, dude. You got a good one. Yeah, thanks with that. Where did that happen? It happened between Tinian and Delay delivering the bomb. What? The atomic bomb. To Japan. Say again? The island of Tinian Delay.
Oh, I pulled an F muscle. They were delivering the atomic bomb. Is my friend Mikey here? It was a secret mission. So no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even know we were missing until dawn. Was he on that boat? That guy from the movie Jaws? Yeah. He was. The character. Yes, the character was on the Indianapolis. Him and... Dreyfus are comparing scars. Right. And they're both drunk. And Dreyfus goes, he pulls his t-shirt down and he points at his chest. He goes, this is my best one. Margaret McKelnick. She broke my heart. Oh, God. And he starts laughing. And then Brody says, Quint, what's that one on your elbow? This one here? Yeah.
That, sir, is from the USS Indianapolis. And then Dreyfus says, You were on the Indianapolis? Yeah. We were delivering the boom. The Hiroshima boom. Off the island of Tinian and Delay. No distress signal had been sent. Identical Brody. Or no, identical Clint. They didn't even know we were missing until dawn. Right about then, two sharks come strolling around, and between all the screaming and the yelling, you see those eyes, those dull eyes, and they roll over white. The first guy that went was a guy from Cleveland, Tommy Mulney. We didn't know anything had happened to him until he started bobbing up and down. He'd been bitten in half at the waist.
1,400 men went into the water. 300 came out. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Yes, crazy. 1,400 men went into the water. I talked to one of them, Adolfo Salaya. He says the worst thing for him was getting burnt diving off of the Indianapolis because there was a fire. You know, because they got hit by a torpedo. By a Japanese torpedo. Sunk their ship. Unbelievable. Dude. What a story. What a story. It's petrifying. That interview was insane. First of all, you get hit by a friggin' tornado, or by a torpedo. And you know it's coming. They're like, hey, torpedo coming. Because I always know it's coming, right? Yeah. And then you gotta brace yourself for that. Then your friggin' boat gets hit, and you gotta jump in the shark. Then you're on fire. Then you're on fire. His deal was, he was asleep in his bunk. He was asleep in his bunk, and bam! And he said, it was like...
The loudest noise he'd ever heard. He said it almost like broke your eardrum. Yeah, it deafened him. Because it was so loud when it hit. And he said all he remembers hearing was the sound of metal crunching as it gave way to its own weight and started to sink. And the guys were jumping off. He said, I was afraid. I didn't want to jump off. Hell no. He said it was a long. He said, but the fire was going so much. He said, I was scared, man. I jumped in. So he's in the water with all these guys. And he started crying during the interview. He said he hadn't talked about it. He'd written a book. My dad contacted him because he was Mexican. Seriously, true story. My dad contacted him because he had heard his story and heard that he was Mexican. And he was the only Mexican aboard. Really? Yeah.
A lot of racism, he said. He said they hated him because he was Mexican. Wow. And so he said that when the rescue boats came, he couldn't get in. The white dudes went first. BS. Yeah. What year was this again? Oh, it was 40s, 42. Wow. Jay was 70. Yeah, I was running the rescue boat. That's right. He was running them. IsbellProductions.com. My wife was running. We still do. IsbellProductions.com for a rescue boat if you need it. IsbellProductions.com. Just saying. Or .org or .ca. It'll actually, it'll rewrite you. It reroutes you. Whatever. You type in .net, .tv, .anything. .turd. It's going to get you to me. .gov. .xxx, too. Well, that's different. That's different. That's a different production company. My wife don't know about that one. Well, she does now. She does now. So, yeah, he said that he was just, he was, his biggest pain was the pain from the fires. He didn't get shark attack. No. But he saw it. I mean, he was there. He heard it. What? That's torture. Oh, yeah. I'd rather just get clean. Just get me and I'm out. You know what he said? He said, eventually, they got used to it. He said, eventually, they just got used to it. And I said, yeah. And I said.
Well, did you guys just huddle up? Did you guys just get together and huddle up? And he said, yeah, but it didn't matter. And I said, what do you mean it didn't matter? I said, if you guys are all huddled up together, doesn't that help? He said, no, they'd get somebody from the middle. They'd get somebody. It didn't matter. You could be on the outside. You could be on the inside. He said, if it was your number was up, your number was up. I'd be on your shoulders. Oh, yeah. I would drown you. Hey, look at me on top of the woods. Isolate. How many times have you said that? That's the first time that's been yelled at. I walked right into that. 1,100 men died in that thing. That's unfreakingly believable. Yeah. M1 Dan from San Diego. Yes. Hello. How are you doing? And I was left off a boat in Thailand. Oh, my gosh. I was the only snorkeler out of divers. I had a problem flying, and my ears wouldn't adjust, so I couldn't dive. My wife did. So I decided I'd still go, and they stopped at this place and said, here, you jump off in here, and everybody's getting ready. I thought, oh, okay, all the divers are going to join me. I start swimming around with the Barracuda. The boat leaves and start driving around this island. I'm like, this isn't cool. Is your wife on the boat? She's diving. She's on the boat, and she's all getting ready, so she's not paying attention to me because she's worried about who she's going to be diving with and, you know, all the stuff of getting ready.
So she didn't even realize they left me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. See, the boat stops. They let him off. Yeah. His wife's on the boat. She's getting ready to dive. So she doesn't jump off. She didn't notice. Yeah. She's diving. She's like, hey, I'm not snorkeling. So what happened, bro? Well, so I figured, well, I saw them go around the island. I just figure I'll just kind of swim that way for a while. I saw a few other boats. And about 40 minutes later, I ran up to the boat. And I'm like, what the heck is this? What the, you know, why did you guys leave me? And they're like. They didn't speak English. Oh, boy. Everybody else was in the water. So I get on the boat, and I'm just standing there waiting, and then everybody else got on. But I had to find the boat around the island, and we were in Koh Phi Phi in Thailand. Oh, you can't say that on the radio. You can't say that. Hey, do you think that the plan was to circle back for you once they were done diving? Well, that's what I hoped. Gosh darn, what a weird. Yeah. There would have been a couple dead Thai men in the water, I'll tell you that. That's the thing. I get different cultures. We're all different. You know, we all eat different stuff. We have different cultures. But in my mind, I'm like, how do they think this is a good idea? You get off. Stay by yourself. Dive by yourself. We're going to cruise about three miles away. Let everybody off. Let them dive. Load them back up. And then we'll come back for you. And you're snortling. Have fun. They forgot about him. Yeah, have fun.
I've been where he's talking about. And everyone told me. Everyone that I met was like, look, it's going to seem a little strange the way things work around here. But just trust me that it works. And like when I got brought out to go mountain climbing, a guy picked me up in a Buick. Brown Buick. Didn't speak English. Put me in the back. Just dropped me off and sped off. And I was just sitting there. By yourself? By myself, just waiting. I was on a dock. And I was like, uh. Waiting there for a good, like, ten minutes before people. And I was like, oh, okay. And the whole time, nobody ever speaks any English. Don't you see horror movies, L.O.B.? That's where the girl gets it. And you don't travel by yourself. But everyone kept saying, like. Just, you know, it seems a little, but that's how they do things. And it's a, you know, there's a lot of, it's a Buddhist culture. So, you know, they're good people. They love you. Yeah, yeah. So I know exactly what he was probably like. All right. Just, I'll go. If they say it's good, I'll go. L-O-B. On the island of Maui. Hitchhiked. Yeah. Were you hitchhiking? No, no, no. I picked up a hitchhiker. I let him get in the car with me. Bet you did. Yeah. After he told me that he saw angels.
All around me. Oh, okay. And that I had a high angel energy. Wait, after? After he told me that. He had already told you that? He was in a loincloth with no shirt, long gray hair, smelled like patchouli and B.O. That was you? He is a Hawaiian rapist. Called me over and was like, excuse me, you have angels all around you. Tell me all about my angel energy. This, that, and the other. Were you such a hippie at this time that you thought, that's cool? No. I was like, give me a business card. Like, I probably still have it. It said rapist on it. It said Ted, you know, something. He was white. Rapist. He was white. And he's like, I felt like he... Ted Johnson. Island rapist.
He put me in a position where I felt like I couldn't say no. Yeah, that's what rapists do. Yeah, they do that. That's what they do. It's very definite of a rapist. Holy cow. Ankles by ears. I would be... What? Nothing. Oh, my gosh, Jay. That's a position. Oh, shut up. That was a little too far. No way, Jose. Sweet berry wine. Sweet berry wine! Jeez. Just got to reel that back a little bit. Just a little bit? A little. What, Megan? What? I don't know what you're saying. I was talking about Kama Sutra sexual positions. I don't know what made you upset. No big deal. Everybody does it. It's natural. Okay, I know the line now. Now I got it. Two years it took me. Finally. But I got it now. So this... scraggly haired dude. Yeah. How old are you? In a loincloth. In a loincloth. Looks like Tarzan. Smells like patchouli, looks like Tarzan. I have to go through my photos and see. Probably pulls a business card out of his waist of his loin. He had a fanny pack. He had a fanny pack. Wow. No shoes. You liked it. There was a part of you that was like, I love that, how free he is. No, no, no. He's a creature of the jungle. I'm telling you, I was terrified. He's a creature of the rain. He's a creature of the rain. I didn't know how to say no.
He asked me, I'm going to teach you right now. I'm going, no. Well, now I know. But he said, where are you headed? Would you like to have dinner with me? And I said, no, I'm going to get some stuff to go. What were you doing? What were you doing? Walking up to the little, there was one store in town that was open. Were you Hana? Yes. Okay, so you're in Hana and you're walking back to your car? I'm walking from my car to the general store and he stops me and I'm like, you know, I really got it. The store's open for 10 more minutes. It's the only place in town that's open. And he's like, okay, okay. And he finally, you know, he lets me go. Then on my way back out. So you go in, you buy something and you're walking out? Yeah. And he had already asked me to have dinner with him. Before you walked in? Yes, before I walked in. And I said, no, I'm just going to get something and I really should be on my way. Then I'm on my way out and he says, well, excuse me, if you're headed that way anyway. Could you drop me? It's dark. I have no car. I have no way to get to where I'm going. The correct answer for that is F off. Here's the answer. You pick up a rock and you go, if you don't sprint away from me, I'm going to kill you. This is going between your ears. I'm going to kill you. He was making me feel bad that I was being paranoid. Did you have like a rental?
I had a rental and I had pepper spray, so I kept my hand on the pepper spray the whole time I drove. I drove with my left hand and kept the pepper spray on my right hand. Doesn't he see you with the pepper spray in your right hand? Do you know how dark it is in Hana? Oh my God, that's right. There's not a light on that island, dude. So she's maneuvering through the roads of Hana with one hand. He's going, no, no, a little farther. Oh my God! farther so finally I said you know what I'm just gonna drop you right here I'm uncomfortable with the situation and he was like okay okay okay and then he was like got out of the car and he went to lean in and I had the thing cocked he didn't even see it and was like you're a beautiful angel and then like it disappeared into the night into the freaking Jungle. Yeah. He was like, I'm staying on my friend's porch. I don't know his address. Jay. Yeah. Holy cow. I always know my address. In my head. That makes my heart pound. Oh, yeah. Well, in my head, I was like, okay, so this is what I've gone and done. My parents are going to kill me. No, I'm going to be dead. They're going to be dead. They're going to get a phone call that I was skinned alive. Oh, gosh. When my mom asked me. I'm missing. Not to go by myself in the first place. And I'm like, I can handle it.
And I'm like, my poor parents. I told you, Lauren. I can handle it. If a guy in a loincloth with scraggly gray hair walks up to me and asks me for a ride in the dead of night in Hana. He's also holding a scythe at the same time. And I had just started dating Matt at the time. And you guys know Matt. He's the most laid back. He didn't get mad at things. He didn't get jealous about anything. I came back and called him right away. And I go, you're going to be mad at me. Of course he thought I hooked up with somebody or whatever. And so I'm like, I told him the story and he was silent. And he goes, Lauren. Like afterwards, I'm like, I know. I know. That would have upset me. He was upset. I would have been so mad. I would have screamed at my missus. We had been dating for two weeks. Wouldn't have stopped me. Because I would have already said that I was in love. You would have known that I love you. I would have drunkenly said that a week and a half before. I would have made you some mixed CDs by then. Written you some BS songs. So it wouldn't come as a surprise when I flipped out on the phone. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. How you doing, bro?
Good, man. How you guys doing? My man. What's up? I've got a quick story. I used to be stationed in Okinawa, Japan, learned how to scuba dive, and it was probably the first or second time I dove with another group of people, but without, like, instructor supervision. And we're kind of cruising around, taking a look at all the coral, and the water was murky, and I just happened to look down, and there's this shape, 18, maybe 20 feet. Now I had no idea. That's an enormous. Enormous. 18 to 20 feet is enormous. Three of me long. Holy cow. I'll tell you what, dive. I was just looking backwards all the time. On my toes. It's over. I'm done. God, I'm in the boat. Smoking a Marlboro. Yeah. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Jay. Take me back. To the ball game. Yes. Bye.
I would have rather driven through the Robert Taylor projects in the General League. Oh, the Taylors. Yeah, dude. In the General League. Yeah, in the General League. Yeah, I know the Taylor projects in Chicago. No. In the General League. Is that the one from National Lampoon's where they take the rims off? Pretty much. Pretty much. Dude, that is crazy. Thank you. Thank you for the call. A 20-foot shape below you. Eek. You look down. Because you're floating. You're floating in the water. And you look down and you go, oh. Yeah. What's that? Forget it. Oh, man. Forget it. That made me sweat. Oh, I'm sweaty. L.O.B. question. Yes. If a guy has a lot of candles in his apartment, is he a player? Yes. That's right, L.O.B. He is a player. I didn't mean for that to go off. Did you not? No. One time? I know. That was freaking amazing. Did you really not? They looked at me like I was crazy. I thought Jay did. I'm like. He's lost his mind again. No, it's after that sound effect, it went to the next thing on there, which is the gong show. That was outstanding. I know. Oh, my gosh. Promo. If a guy has candles, he's a player. If he's single with candles, yeah. Come on. Isn't it like having plants? No. What do you have candles for? So it smells nice and you set the mood? Yeah.
No, no, no. Well, not to set the mood. Yes. Why do I have candles? Because it looks pretty cool. Yeah. It doesn't look cool. Doesn't it? No. Doesn't it look nice? Wait a minute. You make your apartment look like, you know. Pure one. Yeah, pure one. Yeah. You're a man and you're doing that? Yeah, you want to impress the. You get to a certain age and you can't. Yeah, you want to impress the girls. Yeah, there you go. The old Texas flag hanging above the bed just doesn't work anymore. You know what I mean? If you've got candles set up like that, you're a player. I agree. If that's your taste for impressing women, yes. I borrowed money from my parents when I got an apartment in Carmel Mountain, and I went to Ikea. And I got all the stuff from Ikea. I was getting this apartment, all growns up. Had to furnish it. All before that, I'd lived with roommates that had furniture or furnished apartments. So this is my first big boy place. Ikea. They didn't even have the Ikea here in San Diego. I had to drive to Tustin. That's how bad I wanted Ikea. I had to have that Norwegian fine furniture. You saw one room that was all done up in it. It's still nice, but you looked at it and then you went, that's my freaking home. That's a badass apartment. And I don't care if it's Cheryl Teague's. With this furniture.
It's a done deal. I'm scoring. I'm going to be 10 for 10 in this place. It's a Kia. Yeah. And I got candles. I got the big glass vase with the marbles in it and bamboo coming out of it. Oh, yeah. It looks nice. A guy with a nice place that's decorated nice looks good. Look what I did. Look at this. What were you hoping to do with it? Make sex. Yes. Make loads of sex. Yes. I was very brazen. I was very brazen with my come-ons then. Yes. Do you remember the brazen, when you were young and you just brazenly were like, you would go, you'd be talking to somebody, you'd go, you want to come over? Yeah, just come over. And they've never been to your place. And you go, hey, you want to come over and watch a movie? Yeah, and then you walk in, there's black leather couches and satin sheets. And some sort of zebra print something. I resent that. I did not have zebra. Everything else you said yes. My place was always an asshole. It still worked for me, but it was always like, all right, just don't look. You never wanted to have like a sharp looking place? I had two places. I had a loft in downtown Dallas that was legit, but I had nothing in it. I had nothing. I had no furniture, really. But I had a bed, but it was all one big room. So my living quarters were also where I slept. And then I had a...
Pretty slick place. Jamie and I had just broken up. I got a new apartment and was like, I paid a girl that I worked with. I gave her like a grand and was like, I've got all the furniture I need. Pimp it out. I'd fall in love with her. How did you not fall in love with a girl? Because she was like my sister. So she was overweight. Yeah, that's what you're saying. No, she's dating a friend of mine. Currently? Yes. So you slept with her is what you're saying. No, I didn't sleep with her. Okay, so in other words, this person listens on the internet and you can't say. No, no, it's my friend Brookie. I've known her forever. Oh, Brookie. Oh, so it was Brookie. It was Brookie. Thank goodness. So I gave her a grand and she got paintings and candles. And yeah, Jamie walked in and she goes, it's nice. Of course, Jamie and I broke up. She still helped me move. She still helped me move in. She moved you. She did. You were probably at a bar eating nachos. She did. She moved me. Oh, man. We had split up. And she goes, oh, so this is your new place. You know, just. Pimp, dude. Brown accent wall. Painting on the accent wall. It was legit. That's great. Guitars. I bought a new guitar. It was leaned up in the corner real good. Oh, boy. She probably hated your guts. Oh, she was furious. She put a lock on the door, like chain around the door with a craftsman lock. If any girl walks into a place like that and doesn't expect him to try, you're just naive. Oh, it's a man. You're a man. Let me tell you, too. It's going to happen. I can remember so many failed attempts.
And I remember thinking to myself, you know... Did you think that, you know, I just wanted to watch a movie? Yeah. I really wanted to just watch. Women, they're so coy. You did not want to watch a movie. We did. We thought so. Really? Yeah. Yeah, you're going to come over and we're going to watch Grumpy Old Men. And that's it. Because we were in the bar. Because you said it was your favorite movie. In the bar, we were exchanging different quotes from the movie. You're crazy, man. And the bar was closing, but I still feel awake. So if you invite me over to watch Grumpy Old Men. I'm going to do that and then maybe get your phone number. I'm not going to make sex. Come over and make sex. You're a monster. What kind of girl do you think I am? A whore. You just came home with me. Yeah, you're the girl that just accepted an invitation to a stranger's apartment to watch grumpy old men. Yeah.
Why are you a sex pervert all of a sudden? You were cool in the bar. What's wrong with you? Take me home. Please leave. Call me a cab. Please leave. Call me a cab. Please get out. Just beat it. Let's just kiss a little bit. That's all. No, just call me a cab. That's what... Hey, can I kiss you on the mouth? Hey. Is that all right? Can I kiss you on the mouth? Kiss you on the mouth is disgusting. Put my hand on your knee. Okay, fine, fine. We don't have to do anything, but can I kiss you on the mouth? Will you let me? Please let me. Laura? Please. That's not my name. I thought you said your name was Laura. Let's just take our shirts off. Remember earlier I was saying... Oh, that's a line now? I'm supposed to do the lip read challenge and I don't have the energy. I've been in this boat for four days drinking seawater. 570-1949. Or text them, 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up.
On FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club and Kim. Delta Spirit. And the Blackout Party tickets are on sale now.
Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or fm949sd.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I want to talk to you about Ovation. Ovation. Hey, Woods, what are you doing in here? What's up? I'm cutting my ovation spot. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm cutting my ovation spot. Are you using ovation? Yes, I'm using ovation. Wait a minute. Are you using the ovation that I gave to your wife? Every single day. Look at you. I know. I want to be able to say, Ella B, that my hair is longer than it's ever been. Stronger than it's ever been. I love it. Also, Ella B., I've got the men's formula on order. Oh, they've got a men's formula coming up? They've got a men's formula. It's an awesome, awesome holiday gift idea. Oh, that would be a great gift idea for the ladies to get for their men or guys could just treat themselves. Listen, it's the holiday season.
And you know what's really important? Is your hair looking sharp for these holiday parties? Absolutely. So go to OvationHair.com right now and check it out for yourself. And when you check out, be sure to select FM949 for your special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, Dad. My favorite McCafe drink? I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. Listen to this. What? You know what? You better sit down. But we're in an elevator. Trust me. Sit down. Fine. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's back. What's back? It. You mean? Yep. Awesome. Excuse me, what's back? McRib. Tender pork. Slathered and tangy barbecue sauce. Pickles. Onions. Toasted bun. I love McRib. Can I get your number? The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time. Just $2.79, only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly.
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The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Yeah, this is the light. Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Say what? On FM 94.9. I'm sorry. That one, I cannot let go. L-O-B? No. Oh, Jay. His rejoin. I didn't hear it. What? You guys don't make homemade ice cream? I made it for you guys. It was so good. It was delicious. Will you make some more? You don't deserve it. What? I like to scale mountains. What's the big deal? I like to surf every day. What's the big deal? Nothing. We weren't saying it was a bad thing. Look, I just don't want to miss when somebody calls and they say, hey, let's go surf.
Okay, shut up. I'm active, so sue me. So sue me. Yes. I have said, did I ever say we're going to do something and then not do it? I've said we were going to, about eight hours ago, I said I was going to play a clip of Eddie Murphy. You get overstuffed really quickly. Well, no, I forget. And you get overstuffed. And you get overstuffed. Sometimes I get overstuffed. Overstuffed Oreos. Just because you say it in J-voice doesn't mean it's okay, L.O.B. The saddest guy I've ever seen. L.O.B. I mean, I'm just trying to motivate him. You're the ugliest son of a bitch I've ever seen. L.O.B. I thought it was the J-voice. Anything in J-voice is okay. You make me want to puke, man. I'm sick from the stomach. Don't know how your wife does it. He gets away with it. That's a good question. Yeah, J does.
That's a good question. What? It was in the J voice. There was no question. Statement. Easy Bill Crosby. True statement. Did you just say, easy Bill Crosby? Yeah. That's our boy out there. Hey, Wood, look. It's Susan Boyle and Bill Crosby. Hey, Wood. Hey, Wood. It's Suzanne Boyle. Suzanne Boyle and Bill Crosby. There is a candy buyback program, I agree, that runs through Sunday. The third annual candy buyback program. Good idea. In which children can sell excess unopened Halloween candy to participating physicians and dentists in San Diego for a dollar a pound. Wow. Done. Yeah. I take my own. What do the physicians and dentists want with it? Well, the dentists don't want you to get cavities. Don't they? And the, yeah, you're right. Don't they in fact pray for you to get cavities? They're going to give it out to their patients so they get more cavities. Yeah. Don't they in fact light a candle at the Basilica and ask that you get cavities? Dear Lord, please let the city of Encinitas get cavities. Be infested with cavities this year. Infested. And see my place in that next to the faux restaurant?
That just says dentist. You know, babe, I was going to get my nails done. But now that we're here, I think we should both go get a root canal. I got a loose filling. Identical. My dentist, by the way. Your dentist is in a shopping, like one of those. Yep. With like the Vietnamese faux. It's with the plan covered. I gave you a good dentist name. Oof. I think you did. Send me one. I looked up the reviews of Jay's Dentist. That's all good. I think you're crazy. My dentist is off the hook. I did the 1-800-DENTIST reviews. I sniffed around. I'm telling you. First-hand experience. This guy is the bomb. I can see where you go to a strip center, Dick. Sorry? Good. Good one. Really? She went on all of these websites to see. I'm surprised you did not hire a private investigator to check his background. His medical records. She's like, look at this. This SOB was once an arsonist. No way. My last dentist had a business development manager. Oh, yeah. Okay? And then he looked like a Ken doll. He looked like a cross between a Ken doll and George Hamilton. Wow. And he came in and he was like, I think you're going to need... I think you're going to need... I'm going to send Cindy in here.
And he had like a full set of veneers. And Cindy sat down with me, the business development manager. Salesman. What do you need that for? Why don't you just tell me what I need? Why are you giving me option A? She's got great teeth, man. Ella B's got white, white teeth. That's because I grew up in New Jersey where there's fluoride in the water. And I never had a cavity until I got here. She must be right. Because she's got super white teeth. And you had braces? Yes, I did. You probably wore your retainer. Nope. You didn't? Mm-mm. See, my teeth, I had braces, didn't wear that stupid retainer, and they got all jacked up again. Mine weren't that bad to begin with, so. I got a little snaggle on the bottom. I looked like I was chewing cement. Everyone had a little snaggle on the bottom. You got a little something in there, too. A little pepper. Fruit and nut or something. M1 Sean from Oceanside. Hey. What's going on? Hey, you guys were talking about the candy buybacks. Yes. I actually took my son to the doctor yesterday at El Camino Peds, and they explained it to me a little bit more further. They're sending the extra candy overseas to the troops. Nice. There you go. Great. That's great. Very good. I feel like an a-hole. Well, thank you. Color me embarrassed. Color me a big turd. Well, that's cool, though. I guess I have egg on my face.
This just in. Mikey's now offering $1.50 a pound. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. How dare you. This just in. How dare you. Oh, my gosh. Give me food. Really. Oh, my gosh. I got a thumbs up from Chris. Chris is over the door. Stuck his thumb out. That was a good one, Jay. That was pretty freaking great. Tattletale. My goodness. $1.50 a pound. Oh, boy. Freshman 15 is a myth. Is it? Maybe not in San Diego. Yeah. Well, this is a national story. Here's what it says. The idea that college freshmen gain an average of 15 pounds at first year of school is a myth. The average is really between 2.4 pounds for women and 3.4 pounds for men. I gained 3.4 pounds in my cheeks. It's always fun to see your girlfriends from high school. Everybody, this is the time of year you come back, it's Thanksgiving, and you're like, oh, wow, you got cankles. What? You never had cankles in high school. Now you do. I didn't go to college, so L-O-B, why? What is it?
Drinking. Drinking. Drinking, and then you've got a meal plan. At least for us, you go to the dining hall, which is just basically a buffet. Yeah. And you just feast. Well, and drink, and the deal is- Was that food any good? Yeah. Oh, dude, yeah. It was real good. We could get all kinds of different stuff. Yeah, but you, I bet, were getting a hot dog. I was getting corn dogs, pizza. I was getting anything that they offered. Oh, Woods. What? Freaking cafeteria pizza. It was good in college. That's ketchup and bread. No, no, not where I went. Gross. It was in Chicago. They don't mess around with their pizza. You think they were getting it from the corner pizzeria? They weren't getting it. They were making it there. They weren't getting it from anywhere good, but it was good pizza. Trust me. It was better than what you were eating freaking dinty more out of a can. You know what I mean? That's true. You know? That's true, but... Cafeteria stuff, dude. Dude, these cafeterias work. Salad bar? Awesome. Pizza is a no-go. Pizza is delicious. Actually, it's probably the best thing at my school. But Mike, what you don't get is that you're...
Pretty much what? Wednesday through Saturday, you're drinking every night heavily, and then you know what you do when you wake up? You eat. And you eat, and you eat, and then you go out and drink. You try to fight out the hangover with, I'll try this, I'll try this. Hey, that didn't work. Let's try ice cream. Well, they say the average is not 15. It's a lot lower. I'd say about 25. Yeah, me too. Some girls I hooked up with, sophomore year. I called it fun padding when I was in college. Fun? Something to grab onto. Yeah. No, it just showed that you were having fun. More cushion. I didn't finish it. The turn down is always the best. I didn't. I didn't. So, Mike, listen. You can't get me on it because no one knew what I meant. When I said more cushion, no one knew what it meant. It's so ambiguous, Mike. It's subtle. It's subtle. It's like this. If I go, it ain't the motion of the ocean. They don't know, man. Like the size of the stick, Mike. Darn. It ain't the bulge in my pants. L.O.P. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
Oh, I did not mean to do that. Jim, Jim, you don't mind me saying so. Your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. It's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like slicing torsos like carpaccio and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. Ah, and the spleen is out. Woo! You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I gotta try alternative energy. Function Alternative Energy. It's the healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function Alternative Energy is intelligent energy. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Meet Chris. Um, hello, random voice. Another customer exhausted from a lifetime of unfair treatment from his cell phone company. It's true.
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Your football headquarters. Website at U31bar.com. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. So, Condoleezza Rice, I never did play this for you, so I need to play this for you. Condoleezza Rice, she apparently was real foxy to Wood's boy, Muammar Gaddafi. That should be our new thing. Our new thing should be just randomly picking tyrants, and that's L.O.B.'s boy. It's boy Adolf. Yeah, L.O.B.'s boy Adolf.
That's genius. And you're like, what? I don't have anything to do with him. Yeah, Jay's boy Stalin, I guess. I don't know him. So, yeah, Gaddafi was obsessed with Condoleezza Rice. And he had photo albums full of pictures of her. So weird. He's the one. And L.O.B., if you're Condoleezza Rice as a woman, are you embarrassed that that dude was into you? Or is it flattering no matter who makes that? big of a deal about you. It's not embarrassing or flattering. It's neither. It's just strange. So she would just think it was strange. See, I thought she would be like, oh my gosh, of all people, like, Muammar Gaddafi had to be into me. But anyway, she got asked about it on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Muammar Gaddafi is killed. Were you aware that he had a strange and shall I say creepy fixation? on Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Did you know that? I was aware. Several of my foreign minister colleagues had told me before I went to visit him back in 2008 that he had this fixation. And when I got there, I thought, just get through your business. You know, just do the diplomacy, just get out of here. And everything was going fine. And then all of a sudden he said, I have this video for you. And I thought, oh, what is this?
It was actually just pictures of me with Hu Jintao, with Vladimir Putin of Russia, set to a song that he had had written called Black Flower in the White House. My jaw just dropped open. Oh, my God. How's the song go? It's kind of hard to sing. I would imagine that it would. Chances Obama's trying to make that his song. Yeah, that's insane. She gets on the plane on Air Force One and she's like, hey, Bernie, can we put this in? I'm dying to see what this actually is. And they put it in and you hear.
I love you so much. I want to make love for our world. Wow. And a half with you. You little black flower. Living in the White House. Oh, how I love you. Condoleezza Rice. Ain't it nice? Oh, wow. Just her. Edited together. Probably with like really bad script. You know, like really bad text fonts coming on the screen. Weird. Looks like Borat. Basically the text font from Borat. Yes, it looks like Borat. And she's like, holy cow. This is a song called Little Black Flower in the White House. That's hilarious. I think when I sit down to write this, I think I need a very clever name for this. Very clever. I stayed up late. I remember the night. He's on Storytellers. He's got his guitar. It's Gaddafi Storytellers. Let me tell you about when I wrote... Let me turn here. Let me see. That's it. I was up late one night sitting with my sitar, but I said, you know...
Because this one is for American woman. He's got shades on, as he's telling us. Because this is for American woman, I'm going to do this one on my tailor. Tailor is finest guitar. Made in the world. Made in the world. So I pick up my tailor. I say, and I start like this. I say, oh, Gandhi, I want to do stuff to you. Gandhi, I know I sound like Adam Sandler. I wrote this song for you because you're a black girl living in the white house. But then I thought to myself, no, no, no, no. This does not work. Because I can't call her a little girl. She is not a little girl. She is a flower. A little black flower. He wrote a song called Little Black Flower in the White House. Do you think he wrote it or he paid?
800,000 Khmer to have a professional write Little Black Flower in the White House. I've got a great name. Can you get Bernie Taupin on the line, please? Bernie! Bernie, it's Momar. Momar who? It's Momar Gaddafi. I sent you $400 million. The right song for Kandi. I got, in the mail, I got $400,000. That was from you? Correct. I need you to write me a key song for Condoleezza Rice. All I have is the title. You keep title. Secretary of State? Correct. Big fan. In America? Yes, in America. Little black flower in the White House. Can you do this? Bernie Taupin. Bernie Taupin wrote it. He's like, just 400,000. I'll send it over right away. What's your email address? I'll send an MP3. Oh, yeah, no problem. It is momarq at gmail.com. AOL. AOL. Do you want my screen name or do you want... Okay, but it is case sensitive. Capital M. Capital M. Yes, and then...
A lot of people think K. It's not. It's Q. It's Q. Gaddafi. Gosh, it's weird. Oh, my gosh. Little Black Flower in the White House. Give anything to hear it. Oh, any. I was Googling it as soon as we get off the air. This is great. In fact, I can't wait to tell my dad about this. One of the things that my dad, this haunts my father. There was a story of a woman in Escondido that went missing. They never found her because she had Alzheimer's. Listen to this. They have shoes that have been created in France that have GPS transmitters in them to help people suffering with Alzheimer's. And they are coming to the U.S. market. They're walking shoes from a company called GTX. They've been built with GPS systems built right into the heels. They will retail for $300. $300 priceless bucks, by the way. Absolutely. That's my mom's bit. She tries to escape from the nursing home. She waits by the door. It's the worst, man, when they have that where they want to go. Yeah, they want to go. Her father was actually hit by a car because he had it. Gosh darn. If, you know, my grandmother had Alzheimer's, my mom has it now, but my grandmother had it, she was content, you know. Where she was? Yeah, no issues. People are all different, I guess. Everybody's different. Amy's grandma has it, and she's a runner.
Really? She's a runner, too, yeah. I'll probably be a runner. Yeah, I bet you will be. Yeah, you will. It'd be hard to catch me, though. Yeah, Mom doesn't do that. She's been all right. That's good. That's what you want. Still, $300 money lost. Are you kidding me? And the shoes have, they're like Velcro, so there's no ties. So awesome. Yeah. Hillary, what do you got coming up? You know, I... Pretty much I'm just going to play Black Flower in the White House. Little Black Flower. Little Black Flower. On repeat. Little Black Flower in the White House. Is that the greatest? Little Black Flower. You know, Condoleezza Rice is a brave, not only is she extremely intelligent, but she is a brave woman to go into that room knowing that this nut is obsessed with you. If I was a dude. She's so brave. Even as a dude. If I'm going someplace where some whacked out tyrant is into me, I'd be freaked out. Even with all your bodyguards. Of course you had bodyguards everywhere, but still. It's just looking him in the eye is hard enough. You wouldn't have to because he's got those big giant shades. He's always wearing the Dolce and Gabbana giant. Was. Was. Was.
So that's it. Little black flower. Little black flower in the white house. There you go. Can't wait. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next and we'll be back tomorrow morning at six. We'll do it all over again. The Mikey Show is out.