The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/02/10
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
‘Tuesday November 2, 2010
Woods has issues with his daily 7-11 clerk. Jay tries to convince Woods to dress up as a team for their audition for the Wipeout reality show. LOB reveals more propositions on voting day and a guy claims to be the geezer bandit after knocking off a bank. During a tearful exchange at Children’s Hospital in support of Mikey’s neighbor’s baby Woods mistakes an MLB all-star with a San Diego Men’s league player. This leads to Woodsy’s new man crush on Mike Sweeney. Randy Moss loses it during a post game interview and loses his job with the Vikings at the same time. Sometimes Sienna feels like a pump, sometimes she don’t. Either way, we will all know from now on when she’s pumping breast milk thanks to Mikey’s new song. Could Randy Quaid and his wife be pulling off a documentary-style hoax or are they just a few sandwiches short of a picnic? An email about a friend who kisses on the lips for greetings garners a big discussion. The topic ends up as a cast hug-a-thon with man on man kissing. Woobie calls in to complain about Mikey’s fear of hugging large-breasted women and a hug intervention/lesson ensues. There’s nothing like being hugged by a sniffing grunter! The Incorporator calls a Honeybaked ham store using Sienna voice and gets stumped by an M1’s word for the first time ever! Mikey catches up on new music, hearing Eminem’s “Stan” for the first time. Sienna’s elevator adventure delves into awkward situations and starting up conversations with strangers. So are people in San Diego ruder than most other cities? Taylor Swift explains the difference between 12 year old Taylor and 20 year old Taylor when it comes to songwriting and the Mikey Show turns into the “Molly” Show! Not that she has a twig and berries, but do you think Pink just might be a dude? Taylor Swift sings an ode to creeper Jay. John Lennon’s “Imagine” is butchered by an actor and a boxer. Ding Dong Sing Along wants to dance with somebody, gets a little crazy, and does everything for you. The gang reminisces about their various lovelorn times listening to Bryan Adams. An 11 year old gets detention for farting and the cast debates the act of passing gas in mixed company. Why does LOB think the common cold is a bit? Sarah Palin stops by to get silly-willy. Jay has a creeper line so good during New Releases that he has to say it twice! LOB convinces Woods to give Blockbuster Video another chance.
Bumper Music
| 1. The Kill by 30 Seconds To Mars |  |
| 2. The Pretender by Foo Fighters | |
| 3. Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones | |
| 4. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana | |
| 5. Communication Breakdown by Led Zeppelin | |
| 6. Good Morning Beautiful by Deftones | |
| 7. Use Somebody by Kings Of Leon | |
| 8. Still Of The Night by Whitesnake | |
| 9. Poker Face by Lady GaGa | |
| 10. Hurts So Good by John Mellencamp | |
| 11. Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon | |
| 12. Dear John by Taylor Swift | |
| 13. Love The Way You Lie by Eminem | |
| 14. Where Are You Going by Dave Matthews Band | |
votingelection daystraight ticketWipeout tryoutsauditionoutfit debateGiants World Series 2010Geezer Bandit bank robberyRandy Moss Vikings releaseMike Shanahan McNabb benchingChildren's Hospital visitMike Sweeney recognition
The November 2nd show kicked off with voting day discussions, straight-ticket debates, and a mother-in-law's Republican ballot, then shifted to Wipeout tryout outfit arguments between Jay and Woods. Woods and the host visited a pediatric patient at Children's Hospital, unexpectedly meeting five-time All-Star Mike Sweeney, which sparked a hilarious recognition bit. The episode featured extensive debates on hugging etiquette, lip kisses, and 'butt grabber' styles, alongside a word-of-the-day lava segment that stumped caller Rick with 'capacitor.' Randy Moss was released by the Vikings, Mike Shanahan's benching of McNabb sparked controversy, and Taylor Swift's 'Dear John' song played on repeat, annoying Sienna.
What happened, in order
Straight Ticket Voting
Mikey and the crew debate voting straight Republican versus evaluating individual candidates, with humor about mother-in-law's ballot and a straight guy's perspective on party-line voting.
Wipeout Tryout Outfit Debate
Jay and Woods argue over crazy outfits for the Wipeout audition, debating a Harlem Globetrotter jersey versus a Deftones shirt, with calls about dressing up and matching outfits.
Wipeout Alicia Call
Sienna receives a call from Wipeout producer Alicia while sick, leading to an excited audition trip to Burbank with heated discussions about outfits, including whether Woods should wear a Harlem Globetrotter jersey or st
Giants World Series Win
The San Francisco Giants win the World Series for the first time since 1954, highlighted by Tim Lincecum's dominant pitching, Matt Cain's brilliance, and a sweep over the Texas Rangers, with celebration of Boach and Bria
Survivor & Geezer Bandit
Mike calls about his rejected Survivor tryout, then the Geezer Bandit bank robbery in Oceanside where a man in a PT cruiser gets caught via license plate, with FBI questioning his identity.
Woods Hospital Visit & Mike Sweeney
Woods and the host visit a sick child at Children's Hospital, pray together, and unexpectedly meet five-time All-Star Mike Sweeney, leading to hilarious embarrassment and recognition.
Woods Meets Mike Sweeney
Woods recognizes Mike Sweeney from baseball, thinking he's in the adult men's league, resulting in the reveal he plays for the Phillies and a five-time all-star status, causing Woods' awkward reaction.
Elevator Fart/Yawn Collision
Sienna and a guy in an elevator both perform fake cell phone and yawn bits simultaneously, creating maximum awkwardness before they both realize the collision and walk out together.
Lip Kiss Hugging Debate
Extensive discussion on discomfort with lip kisses during hugs, featuring Whoopi's endowment, 'butt grabber' and 'boob grabber' hugging styles, and 'hug slash cheek kisser' dynamics, with Mikey and Woods debating comfort
Common Cold Cure & New Releases
Discussion on a new British scientific discovery that the body's immune system can destroy the common cold virus after cell invasion, leading to potential cures, followed by new music releases including Mariah Carey, Elv
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJay IsbellRandy MossMike ShanahanDonovan McNabbTim LincecumMatt CainMike SweeneyTaylor SwiftJohn MayerWill Ferrell
29,502 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's time to vote. It's November 2nd. We'll find out what time. Do we know what time polls open? 9 a.m., I think. All right. No, I would think maybe earlier people going to work. Let me double check. Yeah, usually open real early. It's November 2nd, and I'll be voting today. Take the little ballot thing that my mother-in-law gave me and showed me the good Republicans to vote for. Super. Is that all of them? Congratulations, Mike. You're really a team player. You don't vote straight? Well, yeah, I vote straight. I mean, I'm a straight guy. So why do you need them? Oh, really? Why do you need them highlighted? Why don't you just go straight Republican? I don't know. I'm going to take a look. You know, I don't always go straight Republican. Oh, you don't? No. Okay. You know, I think it's foolish for us to, you know, just go.
Party wise because there may be a better candidate and there may be a candidate that believes more in what I believe I think there's a thing at the top of the ballot where you can just go If you want to go straight party, so you know polls open in less than an hour at 7 o'clock. Nice. There you go There you go. I've only voted twice in my life. Me too. Yeah, how about you Ella B? At least like half a dozen times. Yeah, do you go party or do you know look at what's what? I'm non-partisan. I go by name. You like their name? I'm just kidding. Andre Woods. It's like picking a horse at the races. I'm like, ooh, Meadows Delight. I'm all the way up. Yeah, I remember when it was just a show of hands. We'd just go, hey, who do you want to be president? Say aye. Say aye. Fantastic, Jay. Hear ye. Hear ye. The very first. Supreme Court is now in session. Honorable Jay Ismail. How ye say. Be seated. Be seated. All those in favor of Abraham Lincoln. Say hi. They always have it. Oh, my God. Good times. Good times. Jay's our producer. He's 47, so as the oldest guy here in the group, he gets a little grief. A little bit. That's so great.
I'm Mikey. I am not the youngest of the five of us. I am 40 years of age, so I'm the second oldest at 40. Woodsy's 35. He's our sports guy. L.O.B. is Lauren O'Brien, and she is our assistant producer. And she is 29, but only for 30 more days. Wow. Enjoy that last month of your 20s. I know. Wild out. It's supposed to wild out. It's okay. I was supposed to be wiling out this summer. Yeah. 30 will be fun. Like one hour. One hour. 30 will be fun. You have to just be like, this is going to be great. Yeah. Starting 30, it's a new year. It's different for women because women really hit their prime around men. Men, we just go to pot the older we get, I think. You smoke pot? No, you don't. I'm the exception, Woods. I got thinner as I got older. Yes, that's true. I am.
a shell of my former self at 35. You're not a shell. No, you're not a shell of your former self. I'm three times a shell, the size of a shell of my former life. Kid can still, yeah. Eat some donuts. Yeah, kid can put them down. Fresh donut every morning. Do you? Driving in every morning. Really? Every morning? It's my new bed. Every day. If it gets him up and it gets him here on time, I don't care. Exactly. I went with him once. He sees this Arab guy at the 7-Eleven. Works at the 7-Eleven. Yeah. Who could just care less about Woods' existence. About anybody's existence. Who could care less about Woods' existence. He comes up to the counter and Woods goes, he'll take the Copenhagen long cut. And the guy goes over, grabs the can, brings it back, and Woods looks at it and goes, long cut. Oh. Funny. Funny. Woods goes, I'm here every day getting the same long cut. Every single day. You know what this clown does every day? You know what this guy does every day? I walk in every day, same time, same fresh DP, same donut, same can of snuff. And I walk up to the counter and I stand there and he's like beating a rug or something or sweeping. And I'm standing there and I'm like, and he's like, he looks at me and just keeps doing. I'm like, oh my God. That happens to me too. Let's go. I'll be, I'll be right there.
Will you? No, I will. Will you? Hold on just a moment. Yeah, I'm sitting here. I'm like, dude, obviously I'm up for a reason. I'm getting a donut. I'm ready to go to work. Be there in just a second. I know. What are you doing? You're sweeping. What are your kills of me? I think that they think that we're, like, wasted and been partying all night. And they're like, you can wait, you know? I'm like, okay, actually, I'm going to work. Yeah, I'm off to work. Sienna's our news girl. She's 25. Just had a baby. Little baby Sage. Gorgeous baby. Thank y'all. And speaking of gorgeous baby, how about that Jay Isbell, our producer? Yes, there he is. 47 years old. Got the Pearl Snap style t-shirt. He's got Hugo. Are those Hugo Boss? No, they just say Boss on them. Okay. That's rad, Jay. We've got the tryouts today. He's wearing... That's why? He's wearing... Wristbands. Yeah. Sweatbands. It's good physical. He has wristbands. He's 47 years old. Looks awesome. Does it? It does, I think. Jay can pull off anything. He can. He can. Oh, boy. Now he's putting the sweatband on his head. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy. He's putting it on his sweatband. Let's do this. Yeah, he and Woods are- Looks normal, too. He and Woods have a private audition in Burbank today. Do we do? For the show Wipeout. Yes. Private audition. Yes. How about that?
Yeah, it was pretty rad because Mikey got something through an email, and he's like, hey, if you guys are interested, go down and check this out. So they have a full cattle call of people going Saturday to, I think, Seau's in Mission Valley maybe. And Jay and I are like, do you want to do? We're like five hours going to be down there. He's like, yeah, let's do it. And we're like, okay, so we got all fired up to do it. We sent in our application. I'm laying in bed last week. I'm sick as a dog. Remember Monday? And I'm like, my phone rings. It says Burbank. And I'm like, who's this? So I answer. And she's like, hi, this is Alicia with Wipeout. And we got your application. We're really interested in meeting you. Yes. Would you guys like to come in and audition? I'm like. Full on freak out. Yeah, absolutely. It's going to be crazy. I guess we can make it. I'm trying to talk Woods into wearing something. They want you to come in a crazy outfit. Yes, they do. They do, Woods. And they want you to have a dance. They can want all they want. Then we're not going to get on. Come on, Woods. We're wasting an hour and a half drive down there. Someone that I know that was on that show, she wore a wig. She wore a leotard. Oh my gosh, Jay. Look what I got you, Woods. That's not me, dude. It's a Harlem Globetrotter tank top. That's not me, man. It's got to be me. I have one that matches. Stop, Woods.
You gotta be me. I have one that matches. It's a Harlem Globetrotter. I gotta be me. It's a Harlem Globetrotter jersey. Can I try to talk some sense into you? Okay, I will listen to your argument. Just listen to my argument. Just listen to my argument. You are right. That Harlem Globetrotter jersey is not you at all. But you, with that Harlem Globetrotter jersey, do go well together. You just ignore it. You ignore the jersey. The two of them together. Your personality will not print as loudly as if you wear that jersey. And I see your point. Yeah. Point taken. Yeah. Have you ever met anybody like me? No. No. Okay. I haven't. That's all I need. I'm going in as me. I got my Deftones t-shirt in the car. I'm ready to go. I'm on Team Woods. I'm going to be me. What? No way. I'm not going to go in and be, hey, hey, what's up, man? That's what they're looking for. No, they're not. I don't want you to be, hey, hey, what's up, man? The shirt will do all that talking. They just want a visual. They say right clearly in it, come dressed.
crazy if you want to if you want to be on the show what if the producers are like this what if the producers of wipeout have it in their heads if they don't show up dressed up we're immediately out should I call my wife have her bring my Elvis costume down here and my sunglasses yes if you wear that then yes I feel like a big flapping douche walking in there in that stuff in anything like other than me being me all you want to do is get on the show I know. I really want to be on that show. I know. You've got to wear it. Can we take calls? Can we take calls? Yeah, 570-194-9. They're looking for coworkers, too. They are. That's why Jay brought matching outfits. Matching outfits. We'll go in there and we'll just rule. But you too, Jay, don't be different than you. Oh, I'm going to be this guy. I'm just going to look a little crazy. Yeah, you look crazy, but you be you. You act like you. But that's not me. That's the hard part. I know what you're saying. The dress isn't. I know what you're saying. What would you wear? Listen, I'm not a bunny rabbit, but if I went in, I would be in a bunny rabbit, and I'd be like, you know, Jesus is the number one thing in my life, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. In a bunny rabbit? Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of funny. Yeah. That's kind of funny. I can't get that image out of my head now. Mikey is a bunny rabbit. Yep. Legs crossed. I love Jesus. 7.30 this morning, the Incorporator is on, and the Incorporator is where we have Woods Call Some Place.
in the middle of nowhere, and what are we calling today? What is today? Today is a honey-baked ham store. Calling a honey-baked ham store, and listeners call in, you M1s call in, and you give Woods random words. And then we will call the honey-baked ham store, and he has to incorporate those words into the conversation. In my voice. And today he's doing Sienna's voice. Can I ask you guys just a quick question? Yeah. Don't you think, and let's keep this on the down low. But don't you think they saw my application? They saw that I'm on a radio show, a morning show. Yeah, I'm willing to talk about it. And they're like, yeah, I'm still stuck on Wipeout. But they looked at it and they're like, hey, this guy's on a morning show in San Diego. Probably he scratches our back, we scratch his. You know what I mean? You're wrong. Am I? You're wrong. I am wrong. Yes, you're 100% wrong. You know why I know you're wrong? Why? Because on my old show, Rob has done this before. Okay? He didn't make it. And that guy had a wild personality and a really outgoing personality, similar to yours but different. Right. I did, too, and I didn't make it. To wipe out? I tried out on The Bachelor, Bachelorette or The Bachelor? Bachelorette. And I went down there and said I was on a morning show and everything, and I did it for The Morning Show, but nothing. Didn't get a callback, nothing. Nothing. Okay. I'm sold. You know how sometimes you need to be talked and sold? Yeah. I'm sold. Whatever you want me to do, I will wear. Here's the deal. Do you have a headband for me?
Absolutely. Yes! Sold! Way to take one for the team. I have an afro, too, but I didn't know if that was pushing over the top. Yes, yes, yes. Hello, B. Yes, you do. I also have little red shorts, but, I mean, they're little red shorts. No, zero percent. Put some butthuggers under there. Zero percent. That's what I had to do. The word of the day is lava. And so when you hear me work the word lava into a sentence between now and 10, then caller number nine is going to win tickets to the fourth anniversary. Excuse me. The eighth. You get four tickets to the eighth anniversary bash. Sweet. The FM 94.9 eighth anniversary bash. What if for the rest of the week I make. The word of the day, a Spanish word. And you have to read it out. That would be great. Yes, I'm doing it. Then you have to use it in a sentence. Yes. Will you be able to do that? He'll be able to. I probably could. I'll tell him what the word means. Oops. Sorry, didn't mean to. I probably could do that. You could do it. Let's see. All right, you can call us. 570-1949 is our number if you want to say hi. And it's open phone, so you can talk about anything. Voting day today.
is a big deal. World Series is over. And nobody cares. Nobody cares. Struck him out. And for the first time since 1954, the Giants are world champions. Well, Padres fans out there, take comfort in the fact that you lost to the world champions. That's true, though. Hey, the world champions beat you. That's not the worst thing in the world. Now, I know you hate the Giants here. They want to move on. They want to move on. They don't want to wallow. Well, it's over now, and the Giants were ungodly good. They were so good in this series, and they beat a really hot team. Tim Lincecum is sick. Dude, yeah. Cliff who? I mean, Cliff Lee was 0-2 in the World Series. Lincecum was 2-0. Texas hit 190 in five games. They were outscored 29-12. Matt Cain was phenomenal. Their pitching was some of the best I have ever, ever, ever seen. They were just together. They were a team. You know who I'm happy for? Boach. Happy for Boach. Absolutely. Brian Sabian is a great baseball guy. He's been there forever. He was almost speechless last night.
Think about all the Giants that have played and never got a ring. Willie Mays, William McCovey, all those guys, and they never had it. Those guys last night, man, they did something really, really special. That's for sure. And it's over. Speaking of speechless, did you say the word speechless? Is that why I'm saying that? Maybe. Okay. Because if you did, you said it within the last 30 seconds, and I can't remember, which is... I can't either. But speaking of speechless, at 6.30... I'm going to tell you guys a story about our friend Steve Woods that happened yesterday. I don't know. You guys won't tell me. I'll tell you. Just wait. I'm scared. Just wait. It is one of those moments. Is it going to be one of those ones where you guys talk it up and then we go, oh, okay, you guys were laughing in the bathroom together again. It's a moment. It's a moment. It's something that Woods did that's one of those scenes in a movie. Okay. It's a scene in a movie. 100%. Idiot. 6.30? 6.30. I'm ready. Guy made a huge fool of himself again. Weird. Me. Yeah. Today we vote. What? I'm not registered here. Yeah, go vote. You vote in LLB? Of course. I mean, yeah, I'm voting. Idiot. He's not even registered. It's my right. Of course I am. I'm voting. You're voting, Jay? Absolutely. Got to fit it in. Sienna? Yeah, I don't really know.
That's what most people are, man. Yeah. And most people are just like, okay. I know. I mean, if it's something that I just feel bad voting. I've been following recently, but it's just like when I'm not fully informed, don't go vote because, you know, someone you know is doing it. Vote for something that you really believe in. Yeah. I agree. I agree with that. You know, L.O.B. Yes. You told us about a couple props yesterday. You don't have them with you, do you? I do. Is there something else we should know? Tell me about one. Yeah, there's a couple here. 19's the weed. Smoking weed. 19 is the legalization of marijuana. Good luck. Yeah, man. And then there's Prop 25, which is the majority vote for legislature to pass the budget, which, sorry, I'm not speaking well this morning. Right now, sorry, it's been a while. Do you want me to do it? It's paraphrased into my handwriting. Paraphrase. Paraphrase. That's horrible, Lauren. It would end the requirement for two-thirds of the legislature to vote in favor of the state's budget in order for the budget to be enacted. And instead, you would just need a simple majority. So it would stop the dead standstill that they get to deciding on how to spend the state's money. That's good. And then they would have to pass the budget by a certain date. And if they don't do that, then everyone that's on the state legislature will have to forfeit their salary.
Every day. Rad. Rad. Rad. So that is. What's that one? That's Prop 25. Yes, I'm 25. Yeah. I mean, what's the downside of that? Yeah. What's the downside of that? Yeah. Well, right now... Unless they're sneaking other stuff in there and that profit... Well, the simple majority means that only 50% of the people would have to vote on it for it to get passed. So right now, two-thirds is more of... It's kind of like, all right, the majority of the people in the state want this budget. Got it. I guess more of a majority, two-thirds. What else? There's one more I kind of did research on, which is Prop 26, which is kind of the opposite of that one. Well, not exactly the opposite, but it's a super majority vote to pass new taxes and fees. Basically, it's called the stop hidden taxes. And this would now have to be these.
State fees would have to be approved by two-thirds instead of the simple majority because right now there's all these loopholes that include imposing fees on things like consumer goods, and they kind of get hidden. They're called fees, but actually they come down as taxes for both us, just regular consumers, buyers, stuff like that, but also for the small businesses. I don't like taxes. Yeah, so now it would have to be that two-thirds of the vote, locally two-thirds of voters would have to pass it in order for it to be enacted as a fee. M1 Mike from Encinitas, are you there? Yeah. Mike's calling in about what we were talking about earlier about the wipeout audition that Woods and Jay are going on today. What were you calling to say? I tried out for the first survivor and actually got selected to go on, but they wouldn't let me go and ship me out because they felt at the time when I was in the military, that it was an unfair advantage because of learning to survive. I was in the Army, and I did special. Basically, I did what is the Army Airborne. They felt that that was unfair, and you can go and try to be wild or anything. It's really not. They look if you have any advantage in any way, shape, or form, like if you've done other reality shows. It's kind of a gala. Well, I have to say, Mike, that was the first season of Survivor,
It's different now. Yeah. Because the game, you know, Survivor is not really about surviving anymore. You know, and so if you were to audition for it today, you'd probably make it. That's like Dancing with the Stars. Now they have performers on Dancing with the Stars that have danced before, you know. But if they like you, it doesn't matter if you come in a potato sack or a business suit. I mean. I just want to give him the best loaded gun you could possibly have. Once they get a look at this gullet. They're going to be like, look how fat that kid's going to look on TV. And I want to see pictures of you guys dressed up and matching Gladiator. I'm still not sold. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. You already said you were all in. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. I'm not sold. Tell me the part you're not sold on. Dressing up as a fruit. Tell me why. And going in there. Tell me why. Because I don't think that's a good idea. Just because, you know, I think I got enough. I think I got enough bullets in my gun. I think I'm, I think I'm, I think they'll want me. Don't you think they'll stand out? The fact that they have a separate audition and they're not at a cattle call? This is my issue. This is my issue. If he dresses up to this audition today.
it is not going to hurt him. It's almost like guaranteed. I know. It's definitely not guaranteed. Have you guys seen the show? Yeah. Every single person on the show that comes on is dressed up. They are? They're in uniform. No, they're uniform for the day and they all have a nickname. They're like Jazzy Cheezy. The Kid and Jizzy. I will slit your gullet. Worst nickname ever. I will slit your gullet. Yep. I want to talk about the Geezer Bandit. Thank you. I know. I want to talk about the Geezer Bandit. So real quickly, yesterday there was a bank robbery. Yes, in Oceanside. And this man walks up to the counter, does what the Geezer Bandit normally does, shows his gun and says, I'm the Geezer Bandit. He somehow identified himself as a geezer bandit. Didn't get caught in the bank. However, this brilliant guy got in his PT cruiser. They saw the license plate. They found him at his home later in Carlsbad. And he said, yeah, I'm the geezer bandit. And the FBI is saying that they don't think he really is. Wow. Because they say that he does not appear to be the prolific geriatric robber. Yeah. So I don't know, you know, they don't look like him. Oh, they don't look like him. Yeah. I mean, and I don't think.
anyone would say, yeah, I'm the guy that's robbed 11 banks. Right. You know, why would you want to get in trouble for more if you haven't? So something doesn't really make sense. Notoriety is a reason, though. I mean, I think that would be a reason. He would rather do the time in jail and maybe get a book out of it than just continue to be Joe Carlton. Yeah. Well, they didn't release this guy's name or age, so we don't know if it really is an old guy or not, but the real quote-unquote geezer bandit hasn't robbed a bank since June 24th. The guy's in Hawaii surfing. Point break. He's going where the waves are. Or maybe he's working on a radio show. I don't know if you heard about Randy Moss. He was let go yesterday by the Vikings. How long was he there? Two weeks? Four games. He is out in Minnesota. We'll tell you why and what's on sports coming up. Also... You know, I've always thought that Mike Shanahan's a pretty great coach, but I wonder if the dawn might be slipping. Yep. He did the weirdest thing with Donovan McNabb that had to have been insulting to Donovan McNabb, and it just doesn't make any sense to me at all. Shocking. So we'll tell you about that, too, and we'll tell you about Woods yesterday. My name is Mikey. I'm the host of The Mikey Show. Glad you're here.
If you want, you can call us. The number is 570-1949. So we're going to tell you what Shanahan did with Donovan McNabb that was so weird. Just a minute. Woods will have it in Woods on Sports. Incorporator at 730. Word of the day is lava. So story starts sad, you know. Very. This is the Woods story? The Woods story. Okay. It's sad because a very good friend of ours. Their baby is very, very ill and in Children's Hospital. And Woods and I know her daddy, so we went to visit yesterday at Children's Hospital. Can't be easy. No. Nope. So we walk into the room, and there's about 11, 12 people in this room. Everyone is crying as soon as we walk into the room, and we instantly, both Woods and I,
We're crying. Oh, yeah. Immediately. And so I said, hey, is it cool if I say a prayer for her? And her mom, Amy, says, absolutely. So I say this prayer. And when I finish the prayer, we're all just kind of quiet. And you just hear this crying. We're all crying. Woods is standing to my right. He's crying. There's a big guy standing at Woods' right. He's crying. And he's, because Woods is crying. You know, we're all just kind of like this sobbing. This guy to Woods' right comforts Woods and is kind of rubbing his back. He's behind me, like in the corner. I never saw him when we walked in. I never saw him. Yeah. Oh, no. And he's just kind of patting on my back. He's kind of patting and just to comfort Woods. Nice thing to do. It was nice. Yeah. And so Woods kind of sniffing and kind of looks over his shoulder at the guy. And it's kind of quiet. And Woods says to the guy, you know, you play baseball, don't you? What? And the guy says, yeah. I'm so nervous right now. And he goes, you're in the SDABL. Oh, gosh. Which is the San Diego Adult Baseball League that Woods plays in. Did you cuss him out the last time you saw him? And the guy, no, you did not. Oh, no. The guy goes, what is that? And Woods goes, it's the San Diego Adult Baseball League. Adult Men's League. How do you not know that? Yeah, Adult Men's League. Yeah, where you been?
The guy goes, no, my name is Mike Sweeney. I play for the Phillies. Mike Sweeney? Yeah. What? Oh, my God. And Woods goes, and I'm not kidding you. I'm hearing it, right? And at this point, I'm like, but now I'm like, did what I just hear really just happen? So embarrassing, Woods. Oh, he's a five-time all-star. Five-time all-star. Oh, my. What did you say? Woods just took off his jacket because Woods is so hot. Woods goes. How do you recover? He goes. I heard Woods audibly go, oh, gosh. What was he doing there? He's friends with Dom, Angelina's daddy. Oh, my gosh.
And Woods thought he looked familiar and associated him, well, thought he looked familiar because he's been on television. Clown. He's been in all-star games. Yeah, saw you in the all-star game. So Woods looks at him and thinks, I know you. I know you from baseball. You must be in my men's league. My pay to play in it. Men's league. And he says, what's that? Immediate wave of heat over my body when he said, what's that? And he goes, San Diego adult baseball. Adult baseball. No. No, I don't play in that. My name's Mike Sweeney. I play for the Phillies. And I heard that. And I heard Woods go, oh gosh. You look like a real Sweeney on that one. Yeah. Wow. My Sweeney crawled up inside my body. Well, you know, they say laughter's the best medicine. Were you able to laugh?
Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then. So we're there for a while. You know, we're there. And then they come and they get Angelina and they're taking her up, you know, for the surgery. And we're and that starts a new wave of emotion. Yes. And so we're walking and we're walking for a long time. You know, we're all going to the waiting room and, you know, she's gone a different direction. And Woods, all of us really are caught up in the emotion of it. And so Woods is like still kind of. You know, I am. We all are. You know, we're walking and Woods is walking with Sweeney at this point. Oh, gosh. And Woods goes, you know, you know, Woods is caught up in the emotion of it. Woods goes, Woods goes. Hey, you played at the new Yankee Stadium. He is. Oh, my God. Woods is the funniest scene in. Any movie. That could have been a scene in a movie. It could have been a scene in a movie. It should be. What did he say? He looked at you like, what did he do? He goes, yeah. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I have. It's rad. Yeah, he did. He was the coolest guy in the world. What did you think of the Steinbrenner? So who's the toughest picture you faced last year? Was it Lincecum? Have you seen him? He looks good. That's what he did. You.
Or something else, my friend. Well, it turns out that the guy lives kind of close to Woods and I. Yeah. And he's a big time believer. Huge. And so he says, he goes, hey, I hear you guys, you and Mike, you guys in a Bible study? And Woods goes, yeah, yeah. And he goes, yeah, what am I getting in on that? No way. Yeah, here's my number. I'll give you my number. Oh, my gosh. He's like fumbling for his phone. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me give you the number. Wow. Already texted him, by the way. No. You have to wait three days. Three days before you call her. He just left the studio and ran out. He just broke his head home. He's like, hey, guess what, guys? Guess who I'm friends with now? Holy cow. What in the world? He's poking his head in like a little girl. What did you text him? He said, had a great time today. Sit down. What did you say? Hope we can see each other again. I said... Let me read the text. I deleted it. I deleted it. But I did say, I said... Put a smiley face? I said, hey, great. Because he wanted to know about Be Different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wanted to know about that. I was going to say, yeah. So I said, hey, man, great meeting you. Check out our website, www.bedifferentpacks.com.
And I'll let you know about next Tuesday. Which is this organization that I just started. Haven't heard back. Haven't heard back yet. When did you text him last night? About 30 minutes after I left the hospital. Maybe he's not interested in it. Maybe he sent flowers. Maybe he gave you a fake number. No, he actually is. He had a really cool idea. Because Dom and Amy... these bills are going to be way over their head. And he's saying, you know, we should start something. And he kind of wants to get, like, the wristbands going for Angelina, you know, because Angelina's got cancer. And, you know, it's so sad. But, you know, prognosis is good. They took a biopsy on her yesterday. And, you know, they were able to remove a large portion of this tumor. And they're saying that with babies her age, nine months old, that before they're a year old, that the prognosis is really good for stuff, the chemotherapy working and all that. Pretty resilient. Yep.
She's gorgeous, man. She's so cute. Yes, sweetheart. You guys know me and little kids, and little kids always, they like me, and I like them, and they stare at me. You guys are at the same level. I know, it's true. Same mental capacity. I walked in the room, and she's staring at me with these giant brown eyes, and that was done. Dunzo for me. Yeah. Dunzo for me. But, yeah, I was glad that I could help contribute to some laughter because people were laughing. They were like, they were really laughing. They were laughing. Like, it really lightened the mood. I didn't mean for it to lighten the mood. I didn't want to lighten the mood. I didn't want to look like a jackass, and I did. That's okay. Yeah. Do you play baseball? Idiot. Oh, no. Do you play in my men's league? Foot in mouth. Bro, that guy's batted like over 300 multiple times. 120 RBIs. He's a stud. You looked him up online when you got home, huh? Oh, yeah. Do you play for the gnomes in our men's league? Come on. Are you on Team Elite? Are you on the elite? Idiot. I play on Tipsy Crow. Three weeks ago, the guy played in the
He was in the playoffs with the Phillies. Yeah, he's one of the few baseball players I actually know by name. And he, you know, I had asked him, I'm like, so have you watched any? Because I love this stuff, you know, and I asked him, I love baseball. And I go, have you watched any? He goes, I can't watch any, man. It makes me sick. It makes me sick to watch because his team got knocked out. I don't blame him. Somebody's got a new boyfriend. Yeah, it's like Seinfeld and Keith Hernandez in that episode. That's exactly how I feel right now. Randy Moss. Do you want to do Randy Moss in Woods on Sports? Let's do it in Woods on Sports. Randy Moss, Mike Shanahan, so much going on. Woods, thinking Mike Sweeney was on his adult baseball league. Woods, Woods, Woods. Only you do. Only Woods. Most people keep it to themselves. My wife Rebecca almost peed her pants last night when I told her that story. She was laughing. So hard. Yeah, I called Rebecca to find out how little Angelina was doing, and Rebecca was laughing as she answered the phone. Yeah, you were asleep. It was 6.30, so I knew you were asleep. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I thought we were all friends, apparently. How many times have I called Jamie? I don't know. I don't go to bed.
When little kids go to bed. I go to bed when adults go to bed. Do you? Don't I? Don't call my wife. Man, this was shocking yesterday. And that's really the best word for it. It was shocking. Randy Moss released, waived by the Minnesota Vikings four weeks after being traded there for a third round draft pick. Said, you know what? You're done. And basically what happened, there's a story leading up to it. Randy Moss. If you don't know who Randy Moss is or you don't know much about him, kind of a mouth. He's got a mouth on him. He's kind of a malcontent. Some people might say the word cancer to a team. He's just not that team guy, allegedly. So after they play the Patriots, whom he just got traded from, he goes on this tirade about how he misses New England and how great Tom Brady is and how he loved being there and Mrs. Kraft. You know, the owners, and he just, he really, he missed it so much. And they're like, okay, well, now you got your wish, pal, because you're back on the market. So they caught him yesterday. And here's what Brad Childress said. This decision was made based on what we thought was in the best interest of the Minnesota Vikings, both in the short and long term.
We wish Randy the best as he moves forward in his career. Wow. He is gone, dude. That is so weird. So he can be claimed by any team. They have to pick up the remainder of his $6.4 million base salary, which is about $3.4 million. If unclaimed, he'll become an unrestricted free agent. Chargers! Here's the thing. I thought that immediately. Then I did a little research. They don't need him. They're the number one passing offense in the country. They don't need Randy Moss. Do they need a cancer in that locker room? Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? Plus, Vijay's coming back. Maybe that will sell some tickets, though, and we can actually watch a game that they win. That's true. Yeah, Vijay, Vincent's coming back, so there's probably not enough balls to go around. We don't need him, don't we? I don't think you do. I really don't. Dude, I don't want him, don't I? Don't you? Also, as we talked about last night, the Giants won the World Series, first one since 1954. Listen to their closer, Brian Wilson, who is the real-life Kenny Powers cut two. Oh, my goodness. It feels amazing to lead up to this moment. Good gosh. What a battle. And for the fans to come out in October and just go absolutely nuts, that was our postseason right there. Rally towels, beards everywhere.
Tim's hair. This one was for the fans. This one was for, you know, the greats of San Francisco that played there before us. And obviously for us, I mean, there's a lot of guys in that room right now that nailed it all season, including Edgar and Rhea. Did he say all that dressed as a knight in shining armor? No, but he actually made a crack. I watched the interview live, and he made a crack. The guy that was interviewing him said, hey, nobody thought you could do it. You told me back in July that you weren't sure. And he goes, don't be a skeptic. Just like that, I was like, oh boy. He's holding the World Series trophy in his hand. Covered in champagne, the t-shirt, the beard, the whole thing. Guy's a lunatic. Sienna, you would love this guy. I saw him on Jim Rome's show on ESPN. And he's interviewing him. And he's just really weird and funny. And in the middle of this serious interview with Jim Rome, he goes, hang on a second, I'm getting a phone call. And he reaches behind him. Yes. And he pulls out one of those 1980s white giant cell phones. I want one of those so bad. Me too, with a giant rubber antenna. He goes, hang on just a second, Jim. Hello? Uh-huh. Yeah, don't call me because I'm talking to Jim Rome right now. Oh, my gosh. Uh-huh. I'll call you later. All right, bye.
I love him already. He's so weird and funny. He's definitely trying to secure a second career after baseball's over. He legitimately could. He's got it. Legitimately could. They're saying this guy should be an actor. That's so brilliant. He's out there. And a lot of times in baseball, traditionally through the years, the great closers, there's a screw loose in some of the great ones. And he fits the mold for sure. And then finally, this was an interesting story. Mike Shanahan the other day, the Redskins, were playing against Detroit. So it's 150 to play, and the Redskins are down. And they got Donovan McNabb, captain comeback, right? Yeah, no. Mike Shanahan says, you know, Donovan, I'm going to put you on the bench. And I'm going to put Rex Grossman in for the two-minute drill. So they asked him after, because the Redskins lost the game, because Grossman threw a pick, I think, on the first play. Oh, wow. Yeah, and so they're like, Mike, what? What's the deal? And he said, you know, Donovan didn't have the cardiovascular endurance to stay on the field. Wow. That's Donovan McNabb. You're going to bench McNabb for Rex Grossman. So there's thinking that he might have lost his marbles. Maybe he's been out in the sun too long. Dude, that's weird. It is so weird. It's insane. I want to go, is that what you, is this passive aggression? Is there something really going on? You bench Rivers for, you know.
Billy Volek or something in the two-minute drill? I don't think so. It's weird. I hope they continue it, though, because if the Deadskins lose, that's good news for the Eagles. There you go. That's Woods on Sports. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number if you want to call us. The requests for Cat Crack come in so much that we have to give you Cat Crack once a day. It's great. Thank you. She loves that little extra bit. I hate the extra one. I love the extra one. It adds a little something. The extra is actually my favorite part. I know. That's the way it looks to me. I've got to do it now. By the way, Sienna, we have a new little sort of theme. If you ever have to leave the show for any reason to do your pumping. Because Sienna's talked about this. Sometimes you have to do the pumping, right? It's true.
We have a new thing that we'll let the audience know just in case she has to. Oh, my gosh. Fully dancing right now to this song. Wow. Arms in the air. Go. Wow. You know what needs to be done? Is that the blocking spiel? Where did you find this? I was dancing at home yesterday to this. I want it playing while I pump. Isn't it the greatest? Pumpers like to pump. Pumpers like to pump. Yesterday, when I was in your office, pumping, which is where I go, and I closed the door, some guy came walking in. We were so embarrassed when we were in there seeing him, weren't we? I know. I looked at Jay and said, get this guy out of here.
Are you kidding me? No, I'm in there by myself. And luckily, I have my back to the door. And I just face the bare wall. Because just in case someone walks in. And I don't know who it was. I turned around over here. And I was doing this all of a sudden. I heard the door over there open. I was like. Trying to dive in for it. No! The guy with it, he had a ladder. He's a building's maintenance guy. Yeah. And he's going to change the vent, something. But, like, who just walks into someone's office when there's a closed door? Who does not knock on the door? Yeah. Holy cow. We need to put a sign on the door that says, knock, please. Pumping may be occurring. Yeah. I mean, even if you were just in there on your phone, who just waltzes into somebody's office? I was just like, what I said, I was like, hello. Yeah. Excuse me. me. Did he look embarrassed? No, I didn't even see him. I was so mad I didn't even turn around. I was like, hello? He had a headlamp on. He had a headlamp on and a ladder. Oh my gosh. That is hysterical. Genius. Sounds like pumping. It does.
I wish my pump played this, so I wouldn't be so bored sitting there. That's right. I love it. That song is pumpers. That is good. So today is voting day. The polls open in six minutes, so get ready. Oh, Randy and Evie Quaid. You know that they're a little off their rocker. They went on Good Morning America yesterday and said some more wacky stuff. Wait till you hear their explanation for why Mel Gibson left those voicemails. Even Mel wants him to pipe down after this. It's crazy. Oh, and by the way, Pink thinks that people should, quote, beat the crap out of their kids. What? Play you that, too. Bye, people on The Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. Otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien. That's Sienna. I call her Sienner. I like it. And that's Jay Isbell. He's our producer. And our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. Will. Let's see here. Okay. Randy and Evie Quaid. Crazy. I wonder, and I'm being serious, I wonder if their looniness is a drug thing. It's got to be. Right? Because they're both, so it's got to be a drug thing. I also thought to myself, am I exploiting them?
Is ABC's Good Morning America exploiting them by having them on? Because they don't have them on for any other reason than they're crazy and they want to talk to crazy people and have people watch because they're crazy. Define exploiting. Isn't that kind of what we do? Aren't we supposed to report on what's out there? Yeah. But why do they keep going to do these interviews? They know what the media is saying about them. Just be like, screw you guys. I don't need to talk to you. Oh, yeah, but you know they're... Crazy. And yet that's what makes them seem crazy because they continue to do it. Oh, and it's the stuff they say too, though. They're convinced that they're not crazy and that this is for real. Oh, they even ask them, are you guys mentally unstable? They ask them flat out. Which you can't really ask somebody crazy, are you crazy? They don't think so. They don't think so. Crazy. Maybe a little bit. Okay, so here's the Mel Gibson thing. We believe there are to be a malignant tumor of star whackers in Hollywood. Very possible that Heath Ledger could have been murdered or David Carradine. And Robert Blake was set up. Who are the Star Whackers? It's possible for people. Star Whackers is a term coined by the Quades that they say are people in Hollywood that are deliberately murdering actors. Crazy. People to gain control of every facet of your life. They're businessmen.
They're absolute businessmen. It's the mafia. It's organized crime. Are there any... They're men that wear black. Men that wear black. Hollywood celebrities out there who you feel should be very afraid right now. Lindsay Lohan. Why? Like, why her specifically? They said, I mean, from what I've read, it's... It's like they're making Lindsay Lohan go to jail all the time, and this isn't Lindsay's doing. So it's anybody that gets in trouble. Yeah, this isn't Britney Spears is doing. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, definitely, and Britney Spears. Mel Gibson, too. Don't you think his voice recordings, his alleged voice recordings, were pretty bad? I think he was drugged. I think he was slipped a mickey. That's my personal opinion. A mickey? I slipped a mickey. So then you just whispered, do they think someone just whispered it in his ear the whole time and told him what to say? They slipped him a mickey. And then they said, you pick that phone up right now. Yeah. And you call your estranged wife and you kook out. Right now be kooky. And he was like, I can't. And they were like, you're drugged. Drink this. Drink this. I'm sure they told Charlie Sheen to throw his hotel furniture. 100%.
She was sent in to do him in. Kill him or? No, just figuratively. To ruin him. Yes, to steal his money and ruin him. Come on. Idiot. That's what's fascinating about it is they're totally on the same page. They're right there. Yeah. Okay, so here's where they ask him if they're crazy. Are either of you mentally unstable, schizophrenic, on drugs? Yes. I'm glad you asked. I'm glad it's out. Borderline. Cat's out of the bag. Borderline, yeah. One of us is borderline. Honey, you're fully... I'm full blown now. You're fully blown. We're still waiting for the diagnosis. Yeah, we're waiting. It should be in Tuesday. I'm just dying to know which one of them came up with this theory, and the other one was like, yes! Finally! Yes! I was thinking the same thing. Let's call them Star Whackers. They were smoking a doobie, and they're like, you know what? I bet there's people out there bigger than us. Let me tell you, that's a strong doobie. That's a strong doobie. And for the other one to be like, oh my gosh, totally! You nailed it. You should write a book.
Are either of you mentally unstable, schizophrenic, on drugs? Do you think we are? Yes. If this reporter has any, any sense of good reporting, they say, well, of course I do. Can't answer a question with a question. Unstable, schizophrenic, on drugs. Do you think we are? You tell me, no. You tell me. Not you tell me. Yes, I do. Yes, we do. And everybody does. Yes. Well, she just want to put words in her mouth. She was asked a question. She wants her to go on the record and say yes. She was asked a question. Yes, I do. Now, I'll ask you again. Are you crazy? Not even vaguely. We haven't done drugs. Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Does murder happen? Oh, wow. Yes. Does embezzlement happen? Yes. That's all I want is somebody to investigate. Are you faking any of this? Absolutely not. No. That's actually a really good question. That's a good question. Yeah, it's a hoax. Yeah, is this I'm Still Here? Yeah. Way to get attention. The movie that just happened with... Joaquin. Joaquin Phoenix. You just blew my mind. That's not possible. You just blew my mind. Is that possible? It's possible. Anything's possible. Yeah, that's true. Anything's possible. In Hollywood, for fame and for back in the spotlight...
100%. What if we found out a year from now that this was a documentary? A fake documentary? What if Casey Affleck's back there with a camera? Or a comedy called Star Whackers. A comedy comedy? You guys just blew my mind. Or a psychological thriller called Star Whackers. You blew my mind. You heard it here first. It's better as a comedy called Star Whackers. No. It's like Raising Arizona style. Right. What if? Wow. Are we all a bunch of dum-dums? And we're being had? Could be. No. That's freaking Cousin Eddie, dude. But they fled to Canada and stuff, you know? You know why I think that it might be? Because... This is what's so hard for me to believe is that two people are exactly the same level of kooky. That's what's the hard part to believe. We're just trying to find some safety and security. We're trying to live in this. And we're being pursued by these people, but we're not faking it. We're confronting it. You know, the interesting thing to me is the people that he had named before, the people that had died, all of them had substance abuse issues. All of them.
I mean, every single one of them. And the people that he named that should fear for themselves all have substance abuse issues. He's claiming they're getting slicked. Yeah, they're getting, yeah. So somebody forced your face down in a pile of blow, made you snort cocaine. You know, somebody made you get behind the wheel and drink. I just, you know, that's the thing I don't buy. 570-1949. That's the thing? Oh, yeah, among others. But that's the big thing. Plus, you know, he's like, yeah, my friend Chris Penn. Listen, nothing against Chris Penn. He's my favorite movie of all time, Footloose. It's Chris Penn. The guy was probably a week away from being a substitute teacher to high school. You know what I mean? I was positive you were going to say Reservoir Dogs. No. But you went with Footloose. 100%. All right. Of course he went with Footloose. It's my favorite movie. Of course. Watched it yesterday. He did. No. Watched it yesterday. Wow. Okay, more of them. Randy Quaid says the one person who has stood by him through it all is Evie, even if they have their differences. Evie, will you shut up for a minute, please, please. But he says everything they've been through has only brought them closer. We're confronted with our true beliefs, with our true values. That's why our very existence is being challenged. And that's, you know, we feel very alive.
Wow. Don't you think if they thought that there are starwreckers that are going to try and kill celebrities, that they shouldn't be telling everyone about it and like just maybe laying low? Because wouldn't you think that they would go after them or no? Well, they explain that. They actually explain that. The Quades say they came here not to avoid the charges in California, but rather to save their lives. Who would be trying to kill us? An estate planner. who had created a living trust and a county that could cash Randy's royalty stream forever. But why would they want to kill you? So that they could take the money. It's easier to take the money in that way. Has anyone threatened to kill you? They follow us. They tail us. They tag our cell phone. They hack our computer. Now, with the Internet, I mean, a celebrity is fair game, and it's all designed to sell. Advertising space. He sounds high. Yeah, big time. Um, what? Do you, can you? It sounds just a little bit slowed down and slurred. Pills. Pills. Yeah. Maybe pills. I don't know. It just. It's weird. The whole thing. The whole thing's so strange. That seems like they got a rock solid marriage. So, you know, at least they're on the same page. They are. Based on their, uh.
You know, they're a fine example. I would like to wish my wife a happy anniversary. Based on Randy and Evie Quaid, it is our anniversary today. Three years today for my beautiful wife. Congrats. Jamie. That's awesome. Love you. Jamie, you're a saint. Yes, you are. Okay, so here's an email. I want to get people's thoughts on this. 5701949. Mikey Show, have a funny little problem that I thought you could maybe... talk about on the air. There's a man that goes to my church that always likes to give a kiss when he says hello. It's not even like the European cheek kiss. He goes for the lips. Steve, that happened one time. Who's Steve? I try to turn to the side, but he still gets dangerously close every time. It makes me so uncomfortable, not only in the germ thing, but it's right in front of my husband. Oh, gross, Jay. Did you guys hear that noise? He's smooching. It's so gross. What would you do if you were me? Tell the guy I'm not comfortable with it or just continue to try to wiggle out of it? Ha ha. Thank you. M1 sippy cup. That is so uncomfortable. Sippy cup. I have an answer to it. I mean, it's very simple. When you see him the next time, you avoid him.
You know, you see him and you say, I don't mean avoid him altogether. I don't mean avoid him altogether, by the way. I mean that when you see him, you say hi, and then your body language stays away. No, sometimes they're little piranhas. Yes. They want to get on you. Hey! Mike! Come here, Mooch! How are you? Come here. How you doing? I haven't seen you. Come here. No, no, no. Come here. Okay. Rebecca, get him over here. You're toast. You're toast. Oh, I would be toast. You're right. Here's how you do it. Because you can't lie. Jay knows. I have a little sun in my throat. It's a lie. I can't do that. You might can't do it. And you can't do that forever. Oh, yeah, you can. You can? Oh, I can do it forever. It's like three years. People would be like, you might want to get the doctor. Do you know what I would do? And I'm not even kidding you. What? The first time it happened, I'd go, oh, wow, you're a kisser. And I would back up and make it awkward for that person. Have you had it happen? It's pretty good. Yeah. The kissing thing is strange. Yeah. It's weird, the kisser. Yeah, there are people that are the kissers. I'm a hugger. You are a hugger. I'm a hugger. I'm a hugger. I hug everybody. I'm a hugger depending on the day. I'm getting more comfortable with a hug, but when I do it, if I can tell that the person is awkward with it, I go, yep, I'm going in for the hug. It's like the preemptive thing. I do the same thing. I hug everybody.
I like to hug, but I don't know that people are comfortable with hugging, and so I don't hug anybody. Hugs are good. Or what about when you go in for the hug, and then that person goes in for the cheek kiss, and you're like, oh, oh, oh. You do a last minute like, oh. I'm like a hug slash cheek kisser. I like the cheek kiss. Hug slash cheek kisser, yeah, yeah. I go like the... You're a butt grabber, too. Yeah, I'm a butt grabber. I'm a boob grabber. Hello there, honk honk. It makes me very uncomfortable to hug a woman. because regardless of her breast size, I am insecure that she thinks that I'm enjoying her breasts. No, no, no, that is not true. It isn't true. If you hold on for maybe like a few minutes, then maybe... Let me show you how I hug you. You are awkward to me. You turned to the side. I turned to the side. I wonder why. You have to. You can't get in there. Oh, he's going to suffocate. He's going to suffocate.
That was really, really awkward looking. I just squeezed him. Get that man some oxygen. Oh, Woods, my goodness. He goes in for the kill. He goes in for the kill. Never once, Mike, I promise you, never once did I think, Mike just lingered around my boobs for too long. No, stop thinking that way. Like he does the ass out hug really good. He goes in sideways when he hugs me. If I hug girls with big boobs, I almost just put my right arm around. And I pat their shoulder. Jay comes up and goes... Motorboating. Like, Jay! We're all friends here. Come on. I constantly... This is the inner dialogue I think that the woman is having. I think she's going...
You're a creep and you're trying to feel. You want to feel my breasts. Against your chest, don't you? You creep. It happens every time. Girl to girl. Now you're talking. Mike, I would tell you too if I ever thought that. No one thinks that. LLB, you don't think that ever? No. If that would be the case, I'd stop hugging my dad. Well, yeah, but you know your dad wouldn't. You know your dad wouldn't think anything. The only thing that the girls don't like about hugging you is you actually wrap your... right leg around their leg when you hug him and you hold him. I do like a koala move. He like runs and jumps. It's weird. Yeah, well, 5701949, what do you think about that? What do you think about the kiss person? How do you deal with that person, though? That's weird. The lip kiss.
That's personal. I kiss my mom sometimes on the lips. I know that my mom has friends. Yeah, I'll kiss my mom on the lips. We've done this. We've talked about this before. I've kissed my dad on the lips before. What? Yeah, I have. When is the last time that you kissed your father on the lips? Probably the last time I left home to move here. How old? 35. Nine months ago? 34. Ten months ago? Like, side. Like, love you, Dad. Like, probably, like, right here. Mike's hands are on his cheeks. Not lips. Not with tongue. I'm doing the Macaulay Culkin. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Really? I don't have a memory in my lifetime of ever kissing my father's face. Yeah, I know. Oh, I totally do. I do. Yeah. You kissed your dad, too, Jay? Oh, I did, yeah. On the lips? Especially. Not on the lips. What about here? On the cheek. Cheek. I kissed him on the forehead. Woods just proclaimed. That sucks, by the way, that I have not kissed my father. Well, you need to. You need to, dude. I love that man. I'll show you. You love that man. No, you don't. No, no, no. No, I will not.
No, I cannot. You weren't gonna kiss him? No, no, Woods. This is weird. This is weird. This is weird. I'm uncomfortable. Woods, I can't do it. I can't. I'm just gonna point. No, no, that's weird. Oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh. What? No, no, no, Woods. That is way close to the mouth. The bromance? It's very, it's very European. It's very European. What are you guys gonna kiss? He kissed him on, he kissed him on like the, in between the cheek and the mouth. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. And I kissed him right back on the cheek. Will, I'll kiss Will too. Yeah, Will, get in here. Don't kiss me like that. Why do you do that? Because I love my dad. See, that's fine. It's the lips. Yeah, I don't. I love my dad. But Jay, do you kiss your son again? I don't think it's weird. I love you. I don't think it's weird. I love Jay. I don't think it's weird. I just couldn't do it. I don't imagine. It doesn't mean you're gay. No, I know that. It doesn't mean that. Kiss Finn on the head. Listen, I'll kiss you on your bald head. I'll come kiss you on your bald head. No, I think that's okay. It's the lips. The guy lip. I don't know about that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's wrong. I don't think it's weird. I just know. I'll kiss Will. I don't think it's weird. I just... It's outside of my comfort zone. It's outside of my comfort zone. Do you kiss your mom? With that mouth? I think. I don't know. I don't. Do you kiss black guys? I don't know. You will? Yes. That's a yes. Be quiet.
That's a yes. Jay just had to filter himself. That must have been a really bad thought. It was bad. Listen. I don't think it's that weird. If my wife saw a woman give me a hello kiss, she'd slit her throat. Really? Oh, yeah. I've seen it. Rebecca would go, did she just kiss your mouth? And I would go, yeah. And she would go, oh, boy. Where's my knife? I've seen it. And I've wanted to slit throats. Yeah. Yeah. Todd always turns. Like, it's happened a few times. Some people are like that. Well, look at him. Shut up. I do it. Shut up. I kiss him on the back. I make out with Todd the God in the heart of the guy. Can I kiss you in the mouth? Can I kiss you in the mouth? No, he'll turn because he does the cheek kiss when he hugs a girl. Like, he'll go in for the cheek. And sometimes it's like, ah, and they go for the lips. And I'm standing right there. And I'm like, really? Really? Really? Really? I'm just going to make a general statement.
To anyone that knows me and greets me, don't kiss me anywhere. Just don't. Even on the cheek? Yeah, it's outside of my comfort zone. I kissed you on the cheek. I have before. She didn't want you to. I don't remember that you did, but maybe don't do it going forward. Really? It's outside of her comfort zone. My sister. It's outside her comfort zone. My brother didn't kiss me. He doesn't? No. Weak. No. Brad, kiss your sister. No, please don't. Come on, Brad. I'll kiss Brad. My mouth is not for kissing. M1 Whooby from Bird Rock is on the line. Hi, Whoobs. Hi. You know, Michael, I'm so hurt. Here I'm thinking this entire time that maybe you don't like me because you give me this half-hearted hug. It's your boobs. And you're afraid of my chest. Let me just say. Whoopi is very endowed. Yeah, she is. And in my mind, I think that she's probably had to deal with creeps that give the too long hug. And I don't want her to think I'm a creep and think that I'm trying to get a too long hug. I do. But you give me that weird, you know, that you, but instead you give me that fake.
I don't want to be bothered hugged. I know. I take your hugs personally because I think you don't really want to hug me. Oh, no. It's that I don't want you to think that I'm trying to make love to you. But you'd rather have me think that you don't like me at all. I get love from everybody else. Can I just say that this is a life moment for me. I'm realizing that it's okay. To hug a woman with large breasts. Yes, it is. And up to this point in my life, I genuinely thought that all women with, just women in general, that when they hug a guy, they're secretly judging your hug. And they're going, oh, so you're a creep. Because they can feel your breasts on their chest? Yes. What's the enjoyment in that? That it's big boobs. No. You've got to be a guy for one minute. It's not the worst thing in the world. I mean, it's not like you're coming up with two hands grabbing. No, but you feel like it's like hugging an airbag in a car. And you're like, oh, wow, those are boobs, aren't they? You know. Oh, man.
I'm glad I'm not a guy. Everybody hates the weak handshake. Everybody hates the weak hug. Exactly, bro. Our hugs are going to be so different now. I'm going for the leg wrap. Yeah. No, I'm telling you, when Mike would go in for a hug, he would turn sideways and... You always lifted one leg up like you leaned. Like he leaned in. I can demonstrate. You lift a leg up? I do, I do, I do. I'm trying to like not touch it. Oh, I have seen that. You're like a mental patient with that, dude. You guys take notes on people's hugs and kisses? No, but now that we're talking about it, I'm like, you know, he lifts up his leg like he just throws himself in there real quick and pulls himself back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The lean. Like the hug lean. Yeah, sideways. lean one leg. I don't have to do that anymore. I've been given permission to not freak out. Maybe you hug my wife once in a while, too. You walk in and go, you nod your head like you just met her. I'm so uncomfortable. Why? It's my wife. Why do we all like to hug every time we say hi and bye? And we do, by the way. We do. Not in the morning. When we see each other outside of work, we all hug each other. Of course. That's what friends do.
No, but why is it like, okay, like, we'll come into work tomorrow morning and we won't hug. Yeah. But say we meet up for dinner, we hug at dinner. Of course. We saw each other that morning, why didn't we hug in the morning? But that's what friends do. Well, why don't we hug in the office? What are you guys, Puritans? No. Yeah, you give each other, because this is a workplace. When you're out there, it's social. He's right. Stand up, give me a hug. He's right, give me a hug. It's weird, though. Are you comfortable? She's comfortable. She just turned around like, stop touching me. She gave me the ass out hug. I like hugging and I like to hug at the restaurant. I do enjoy it. I do. You feel like you're good fellas. You're all out. You got your wives. I don't feel that. I do. Everybody hugs. You get a little kiss. It's rad. I feel like we're good fellas. I feel like we're a gang. I have a different feeling. I like it, but it's a different feeling. My feeling is, oh, I love you so much. Well, of course. That's my feeling. My feeling is we're in the mafia and we're going to whack somebody out after we have dinner. That's mine. You know what? And when I say bye to everyone that's in the studio, I want to give them a hug because I'm like, I feel like we all went through something together. And maybe that's what dinner is. It's like we just shared. I'm so glad you brought that up, LLB, because I hug all the listeners, men included, to come in. And some of them are like, oh, boy.
that's what's giving me a hug and I feel like an idiot. Can I tell you this? I am a million times more comfortable telling men I love them than hugging or never, you know, the kiss on the cheek. M1 Danny, biggest M1 of all time. He's M1site.com. I can tell I skeeve him out. We'll hang the phone up and I'll be like, all right, bro, I love you. And he's like, all right, see ya. See ya. You know, there are always those people, though, that over say it, and you're like, yeah, you too, man. I don't. Hey, man, I love you. Don't do. Just go, love you, pal. Love you, bro. Oh, yeah, I tell Woodsy. All the time. All the time. I have a friend, and you guys met him. He was in the studio, John Fenwick. Fenwick, my wife's like, oh, my God, really? Every time I go to film, love you, dude, love you, too. Every single time for the last 15 years. I do that to all my girlfriends that are out of town. Oh, no. Uh-oh.
Uh-uh. What's going on? I'm done. What? Is it M1 Danny? No. Is it your wife? Someone said that they're creeped out and now you're going to... M1 Tamara. Tamara. M1 Tamara says that, yeah, guys are trying to get... Tamara, are you there? I'm there. Hello. So you're saying that, yes, guys hug you and they're trying to get a little sum. It's happened. I'm a hugger. I love hugs. I will hug anyone and everyone. But I guess since I've hugged so many, I've experienced a lot of either too tight hugs or too long hugs. Great. The tighter the better. The tighter the better. Now, there's always a few preview ones. It lingers a little too much, and then they squeeze a little too tight, and then it's a little bit tighter. See, but you can't overthink it. You just have to go in and enjoy a hug, no matter who it is. I had to linger with the wandering hand. Now, that's different. That's weird. I know guys that hug too long. I know guys that do. The lingerer.
I think you can tell. Now I'm going to be self-conscious. Don't think about it, Mike. Don't think about it. Hug tightly, but for one second. You know why? Because people have a good judge of a creep. And who's not a creep? Like, you're not a creep. I can be creepy, but I'm not a creep. Jay is a creep. Jay probably hugs way too long. Jay can hug without touching and it's creepy. Jay looks at you and it's creepy. I hug you. Give us a hug. Jay's looking at you. Okay. If you are calling, hang on. Don't go anywhere. I don't want to be done with this topic. Me neither. I'm too fascinated. 5701949. Got a lot of people on the line right now that want to talk about the hugs and the kissing. Woods, you're going to like this. Taylor Swift was on TV yesterday talking about the song that she wrote about John Mayer. Yes. And also about whether or not she's dating Jake Gyllenhaal. Gyllenhaal. Is it Gyllenhaal? It's Gyllenhaal. Sarah McLaughlin. Stold it.
Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, for those of you interested in Comic-Con, yesterday, November 1st, was supposed to be the first day where you could go online and purchase single and four-day badges. It was going to start at 9 a.m., but I guess they only sold a handful of badges because the website was having some problems. So, for those of you that tried to get on and you couldn't get anything, don't worry. The organizers are going to announce next Monday, November 8th. when you can purchase some more. So it will be back. They're trying to fix a problem. Also, do you want an earthquake sensor for your home? Because the U.S. Geological Survey, they monitor earthquakes nationwide. They're looking for volunteers in San Diego to... host kind of some of these sensors to keep in your house. You don't need to be a homeowner. You can rent. They say the spot needs to be at ground level. And if you have a garage, that is usually a lot better. A UPS truck drives by and people start screaming. Oh my gosh. So if you're interested in doing something like that, just go to Sign on San Diego and they're asking volunteers to go there. My house is always rocking. Oh boy. Dead air. What's going on in sports?
Well, there's plenty going on in sports. The Texas Rangers have a new ownership group, and it consists of Nolan Ryan, which everybody knows, and then there's this guy Chuck Greenberg, which nobody knows, but he wants everybody to know him. So he went on the radio and ripped Yankee fans apart, calling them losers and apathetic and violent, and the worst fans of any fans he's ever seen in the postseason, and he now has to apologize to the Yankees and their ownership. Wow. And also... What was I going to say? I totally just brick. No, this guy is a clown. I mean, he's basically clowned out and said, you know, oh, yeah, he said, I guarantee we're going to a game seven. I guarantee we're going back to San Francisco. Feast. Yeah. Feast, Chuck. And then last night was Monday Night Football, which probably rated higher than the World Series as all the other. Sunday games beat the Sunday game of the World Series. I can't believe that. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. But Peyton Manning actually had a really good game, 26-45 for 268 and two TDs. Here he is talking about grinding out the win, 30-17 over the Texans. Well, it's a great team effort and a great team win. Everybody's dealing with injuries, right? Not going to beat the...
beat the point in. Whoever's in there has to somehow find a way to do the job, right? It's not always going to be pretty or perfect, but you just got to keep grinding. That's kind of the word we use, right? Just keep grinding and keep trying to make some plays. Guy sounds like he has rice in his mouth. You are so mean when it comes to those Manning guys. Dumb faces. Everyone is so mean when it comes to those Manning guys. They do. I'm sorry. I'm not perfect. I have a gullet. I'm fat. I know. I have boobs. Stop it. But, hey. You know what? Let's see. That's a pretty solid quarterback. Where are the days lava when you hear me say that between now and 10? Caller number nine wins a four-pack of tickets to the FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Bash, which, by the way, because we love and appreciate our listeners and all the loyalty that they've shown us, just for a very limited time, the next eight days, 20 bucks if you want to buy those. That's a steal. And then they go back up. But then the price goes back up. So, just so you know, that's where they're at right now. Okay, so we're talking about the person that hugs you and they kiss you when they hug you. As a greeting. As a greeting. Are they creepy? Are they not? M1, and the Incorporator's coming up in just a couple of minutes. M1 Britley from Claremont. Are you there? So, what's the creepiest kind to you? The smeller and the grunter.
The smell and the grunter. Oh, the grunter. I know the grunter. Someone who goes in for a hug and they're like, oh. That is so filthy. You know what? I at first thought, ew, what kind of creep does that? So many people do that. So many people do the grunt. No, they go like, sniff. Oh, you smell good. Yeah, that's true. Like that. Ew. Yeah. But I never really think. I just think, thanks. That is true. Guys, it smelled you? Yeah. It smells nice. What is that? What are you wearing? You. What do you care? I'm wearing you. Get off me. I'm wearing filth and shame. Yeah, filth and shame. It's so true. She just shivered. I did. Oh, wow. She shimmied. The creep shivers. Thank you for the call. Thank you very much. M1 Marcy from Vista. Hi. Well, I'm... Engaged to a Samoan. And since I met him seven years ago, the entire family, whether it's girls, guys, kids, kiss on the cheek, hug, kiss on the cheek, hello, goodbye, regardless. That's sweet. I'm on board with that. I don't have a problem. I can get used to that. I don't have a problem as long as it isn't, you know. I don't know. I do have a problem, I think. It's family members, though. The only thing that skeeves me out is the lips. It just seems a little.
I mean, unless it's like someone you're so close with, it's okay. I can't wait to smooch all of you on the lips the next time I see you. No, don't you dare. Don't you dare. 100%. I think, I don't know, but you could maybe get away with it. Probably. You know, because he's that kind of person. Don't. I'm going to get you real good. I'm going to get you real good. I am picturing L.O.B. She'll freak out. Yeah, she will. She'll knee me in my sack. What are you doing? You're married! You're married? The only thing more uncomfortable than that is me doing it. Anyone. Mike would be so awkward. Mike would be like... Plus, you'd be standing on an apple crate. Hold on. Let me go get my crate. Let me go get my crate. Hold on. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. I'd have to stand on the curb. Can you just... Yeah, you stand there. I'm going to jump up on the curb. Jay, can you pick me up? I got you, Mikey. Like a flamingo. Give me a boost, Woods. Give me a boost. This is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever thought of in my life.
570-1949. Call us right now with words for the Incorporated. We need eight random words that Woods will have to incorporate into a conversation with a honey-baked ham. What? With a honey-baked ham store. You're not talking to a ham. You're not talking to a ham. Huh? I need to go? Yeah, you need to go. Get out of here. Don't yell at me, pal. Ooh, ham, I can't wait to eat you. So stupid. Okay, so yeah, you got to call us right now and give us some words. We need eight words for words. Not dumb words, not like Gucci goo. Like words, you know? Yeah. Zebra. Zebra's great. That's a great one. That means you get it. You just call with random words. 570-1949. I got him, Will. I got him. I got him. Mikey Show, who's this? This is Aaron. Aaron? Yeah. Okay, what's your word? Raunchy. That's good. That's good. See, that's a good example. Yeah. He's got to work that word into a sentence, which is a good example. Mikey Show, who's this? Sarah. Sarah, what's your word? Adderall's great.
That's a good one. You're so encouraging today, Mike. Good job, Sarah. Good job. That is great. Good job. You did it. I'm so proud of you. Mikey Show, who's this? This is M1 Wheat Thicks. Wheat Thicks, what's your word? Toenail. Toenail's great. This just skeeved me out. That's a good one, though. Toenail. Woods will like that. Mikey Show, what's your name? My name's Rick. What's wrong? Rick, what's your word? Capacitor. Capacitor's good. It's a thing. It's a good noun. I thought he said catheter. I was like, oh, work that one in. He said capacitor, didn't he? Yeah, he did. Like a flex capacitor. Mikey, show who's this? M1 Andrew. Andrew, what's your word? Blubber. You're starting to get it. I think our listeners, I think our M1s are really understanding the incorporating. They know what's up. Mikey, show who's this? Hey, it's Jared.
I got a word for what? Go ahead. Umbilical cord? All right. Don't throw them away. All right. Umbilical cord. Oh, my gosh. I'll have you know that did not come up yesterday. You didn't talk to your wife about it? I forgot about it. I forgot. How could you? You freaked out. I'm going to take a picture of it and post it on our Facebook. Mikey's wife and I kept our baby's umbilical cords, if you didn't hear that yesterday. Oh, my gosh. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with it. Is everything wrong with it? Nope. Mikey, show who's this? I like that name. Funny Bunny, what's your word? Whimsical. It's good. All right, cool. Whimsical. And by the way, Woods is making this call to this honey-baked ham store. Talking like Sienna. Oh, that's right. I forgot. Yeah. Mikey, who's this? Amber? Yes, sir. What is your word? Petition.
Great one. All right. Thank you. I think we got him. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Yep, we got him. All right. Woodsy can come in. Woodsy can come in the room. Here he comes. He's got a headband on. Got a headband on. He's ready to go. Looks like you're ready to get down to business, buddy. I'm doing Sienna's voice. Yeah. Doing Sienna's voice. Not the first word? Yeah, first word. Woodsy always gets the first word. The word is raunchy. Okay. Raunchy. Doing air punches. And don't forget, you're Sienna. I'm Sienna. It's a hard thing to do. You can't look at me. You have to look away. Look away. I'm fat fingers. Big ol' fat fingers. Too much honey baked ham. Hi, do you guys have ham? Yes, we do.
i need your help last year um i cooked thanksgiving dinner and it was raunchy so this year i'm just getting a big ham okay okay i'm sorry i'm speeding like crazy i'm on like four adderall this morning it's been one of those mornings toenail now you guys uh you're you guys um you do honey baked ham like maple i really like maple glazed ham do you know what that you guys have that Yes, we do. Okay. I need to come in today. I'm going to get, like I said, last year I cooked. There was actually a toenail in the stuffing. It was a whole big ordeal, but I want to get sides and all kinds. My family hates when they have to come to my house for Thanksgiving. Capacitor. Okay. What would you like to order? Let's see. I want to get, I have a really big family. There's like 15 of us. Okay. And so I need just like a bunch of hams. I love ham and yams and sauces and stuff. Okay. Okay. Is there like fat and blubber on these hams or are they lean? No, they're very good hams. Have you ever had any of our hams before? You know, I have a long time ago. I went to a party once and they had ham and I walked in and I was like, ooh, ham. I love ham. Wow, that's great. Yeah, it is great.
Um, let's see. I just had a baby, too, and I want, like, I want, here's the deal. I want, like, you guys to do all the work, okay? Because, you know, you guys do the work because I cut the umbilical cord from my mom a long time ago. I just cut my baby's umbilical cord and, like, I don't want to work at all. Whimsical. Okay, that's fine. You can just order, like, as much as you think you need. Are you being whimsical right now? I asked if you were being whimsical right now. No. Okay. Well, listen. Today is voting day. I just signed a petition. And I need to vote. And then I'm going to come in and get a ham. Okay. That sounds great. Okay. Bye.
Capacitor is not a word. It is. It's not a word. It's not a word. Flux capacitor from back to the future? What is that? Oh my gosh. Give me words I know. Oh, relax. It was great. That was so funny. You almost lost it. That's not a word. I almost lost it. You said I cut my mom's umbilical cord. You cut your mother's umbilical cord. I thought I said I cut the one from my mother. I cut my mother's umbilical cord and then I cut my own daughter's umbilical cord. I meant I cut the cord from my mom. She was like, what? She was like, are you being whimsical? That girl wasn't. What? Really confused. She had no idea what was going on. She just guaranteed hung up and was like, dude, guess what you're just called? I don't know if that was a man or a woman. You don't know what a capacitor is? No. A capacitor is something that is in electronics that keeps it from shorting out. Really? So you blow the capacitor so that you don't short out the whole thing. You Bob Vila? No, just an American. Are you? Are you?
Hey, I guess technically that's probably the first one I've blown because I didn't think that was the word. I was like, easy, Doc Brown, back to the future. I didn't know it was a real word. It's a real deal. Have you ever heard the word diode? No. I have not heard diode. Diodes, capacitors. Have you ever seen a naked woman? No. Capacitor. Yes, it is a word. They're used with resistors. Trip out. What do you mean? That it's a word. I didn't think it was a word. I really didn't, honestly. I know. I would be able to work it in if I thought it was a real word. So did Woods just lose? I just didn't. I just lost. That's the first time. First one ever. Wow. First word I've never been able to work. Wow. History. Damn it. We have to have like a different. Wait, that guy should call in. He needs a prize or something. Oh, yeah. He stumped. Yeah. It was M1 Rick. Yeah. Got me. That a boy. M1 Rick got you. That's a fake word. It's real. I thought it was a fake word. Great. What's his face when he got to it? Oh, yeah. He looked at me like he's like. I go, not a word. Not a word. Next. Keep going. Next. Next. Not a word. I didn't even look at you. I don't look at him the whole time. I thought it was a fake word. It's all right. You did great. I almost laughed out loud in three different parts of that. When she first heard the voice, she was like, whoa. I guarantee she didn't know if you were a man or a woman. I know. Do you have ham?
First question I ask. No, she knows you're a woman because you cut your mom's embolism. Oh, that's right, that's right, that's right. There's a toenail in the ham. The toenail with the stuffing. She goes, what? What? And you go, I said, are you being whimsical? No. I thought you were for sure going to be like, do you have diamond encrusted ham? Yeah, I was going to, but I couldn't. She would have been like, yeah, no. She wasn't, she wasn't like. feeding off of it. You know what I mean? She did not want to be talking to you. She didn't want to be. She was like, yeah, dude, we've got your ham. We'll set you up, whatever you need. Oh, that was great. She was scared to death. Rick is back. Yes. Rick is back. M1 Rick. Are you there, Rick? What's happening, guys? You got me, pal. You got him, bro. First time ever. You just made history. And I mean, when I say ever, I mean back in the office. Yeah. Never was a word I couldn't get. I've never been stumped. He started this back when he was in the workforce working in an office building. And him and his buddies would do this to entertain themselves. He's never been stumped, Rick. You're the first one to do it. And you win a prize. Hang on the line. Hang on. Sounded like me. I love prizes. I love prizes. He was looking at me. He's like, it's not a word. He was panicking. No, I wasn't panicking, but I just never. I thought it was flux capacitor. I was like, it's a made up bit.
I never heard a professor in my life, I swear. It's okay. I'll do 20 words next week and no problem. But I just didn't think that was a real word. Okay, so Taylor Swift got interviewed yesterday and talked about the John Mayer song. By the way, Woods has put this song. Wow, really? Yes, every day. What's your problem? Every day. Grow up. He likes it. I'm grown. She's not going to sleep with you, as far as you know. What if I get on Wipeout? I wonder what your wife will say. Oops. Would you like to hear an interesting fact? Yes. Woods and I were driving in his car the other day, Sienna, and he played Stan. By Eminem. Oh, best song. Great song. I agree. It was really, really amazing. Mike, was it the first time you've heard it? No! That was like the biggest song five years ago. I don't know if I put the right... I think I did. I think I did. Oh, it swore? I think I put the right version on. Did it already swear? No, no, it didn't. That's why I just... Okay, just stop it. Sorry, just stop it. Just stop it. I'll double check. Yeah, don't put curse words over the airway. But hold on, maybe we'll jam. I don't mean to. Kid's not real bright. It's okay. It's clean. Clean.
Jam it up. We're already done. Play it again. It's okay. I'd never heard it. You never heard that. Even my wife was humiliated. I came home and I go, babe, let's just play me the coolest song. Even Sarah Palin would have been like, really? Yeah, of course. Do you know we played a Dido song? That's the girl that's in there with it. We played it like, I remember like four or five weeks ago and you were like, this is cool. I like this. And I was like. Well, yeah. Everybody knows. Yeah, that's from Stan. And I kind of thought it in my head, but I didn't say it. We were driving, and we got on this Eminem kick, and we were talking about how great he is with words and whatever Mikey and I did. And the next thing you know, I'm like, man. And I was telling the story about it, and he's looking, and he has this kind of glazed over blank stare. And it was ended, and he goes. That's the first time I've ever heard that song. I almost wrecked my car. Yeah. Sometimes Mikey doesn't tell us when he doesn't get stuff. He'll just kind of pretend like we'll ignore it. The fact that he's not responding. Right on. But I was sitting there listening to it and I'm like, this is really good. This is a whole story about a stalker, like a strange person. Yeah, bro. I love it.
Great song. You're the one in a million here, pal. Not me. You are one in a million. You're literally one in a million that have never heard that song. What about that one time months ago when Mikey's like to you, this is the best song. This is going to be the new jam. And it was Tupac. California Love. He's like, I just heard this. This is going to be the hit. This was like three months ago. Yeah. Yeah. It was 15 years old. Sienna was one when that song came out. I was driving in my car listening to Channel 933. and they're bumping it, and I'm bumping, and I'm like listening to it, and I go, I go, I'm listening to the whole thing, and as it's getting further and further into the song, I'm like, when people hear this, I bet you this is going to be a gigantic hit. When people hear it. Tupac Shaker. Yeah, Tupac Shaker. When people hear Tupac, yeah, Tupac Shaker. Dr. Dre. Dr. G, it's going to be the biggest sensation. I bet this video is going to be awesome. Suge Knight. Yeah, the whole gang. Number one summer jam. He was like, this is the biggest song of all time. This is the jam of the summer. This is the song that people coming to visit California are going to be playing on the airplane. 15 years ago. Have you heard of Suge Knight? Such a great song. It's great.
Yeah, I went home and I go, babe, Woods just played me the greatest song in his car. She goes, what was it? I go, it was called Stan by Eminem. Have you ever heard of that? And she just stared at me. Like an alien. And she goes, really? Really? Honestly? Yeah, I was 14 and I loved that song. I bought that. You're 25 now. I know. That was 11 years ago? It's been out that long? Yeah. Wow. I thought it was like three years. I was a freshman in high school. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. I am so out of it. Yep. Really out of it personally. That's why we love you, pal. Come give you a kiss. No. I don't want it. Weird, weird, weird. Uncomfortable. Speaking of uncomfortable, Sienna got into an elevator yesterday. Oh my gosh. You fart? No. Hold it in. You know that. It was yesterday here. in the building you were going downstairs yeah and okay elevators are awkward enough as it is when you're with a group of people and there's other people in there especially but when it's just you and one other person that is the worst and so I'm in there yesterday leaving the building and it's me and this one other guy and of course I do
the cell phone bit, pull out the cell phone on my purse immediately, like pretend like I'm doing something. I pretend like I'm looking at an important email. But the elevator ride was going too slow. I needed to come up with something else. And so I did the second thing I could think of, which was the yawn, like, oh, you know, like just so there's some sort of noise. He did the yawn at the exact same time. Oh, no. And we both looked at each other like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. We just did the same bit on each other. Oh, no. It's so uncomfortable. Two fake bits colliding is not good. We both looked at each other with a panic like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. And then we had to walk out of the building together. You know what's worse for me than this thing is in the elevator and I'm quiet and the person gets in and they go. It is hot today, isn't it? The weather bit. I kind of embrace that. You do? I'll keep the fake combo going for the next 30 seconds. I don't mind it. It's supposed to be a nice one. I'm like, yeah, absolutely. I'll never initiate it. I'll never walk in and be like that girl, but I'll embrace the fake combo. I love. Hey, have a good one. I love to initiate.
conversations in uncomfortable spots. I love it. It's one of my favorite things to do. Give me an example. Being in the elevator, a guy will... You know, I will stop on 6. He'll get in. I'll go, hey, how you doing, buddy? Just like that. Because we're in this together. Yeah, we're here together. How you doing, man? You having a good day? My mom is just like that. My grandfather is just like that. My grandfather would stand at McDonald's at the counter during morning rush hour and visit with the ladies. Oh, no. And they're like trying to work. And my sweet old grandfather would sit there and be like, darling, you sure look pretty back there. Can I get a refill? And they'd do it. And he'd just BS with them. That's where I got it from. You know, it's so. funny because Rebecca my wife Rebecca said that she was at the grocery store yesterday and you guys might be I think women probably get this more than guys but she said that the woman in front of her was buying fish and some rice and some you know like getting this stuff and the cashier said to the woman oh you must be having a sushi party
And Rebecca said that a couple of weeks ago we were having our growth group over and Rebecca bought a thing of vegetables, veggie tray. And the person goes, oh, they're having a party, huh? Always. And Rebecca goes, oh, it's just, you know, we're having a group of people over. It's a small group. It's just our growth group. And the person goes, wow, they must eat a lot for that small of a group. Maybe zip your lip. And Rebecca was like, I just want it. She told me, I just want to buy the stuff. Check out. I'll buy those trays just from Todd and I at home, you know, easy. But the conversation bit, you know, like the commenting. And I was and I go, yeah, I go. It has to feel like. Somebody's on their period. Yeah, exactly. You know, because you're buying feminine products. I know. Oh, must be that time of the month, eh? Amazing. But the alternative is people walk around like they don't see each other. You go on a walk and then people just are like, this is my world, this is your world, and we're not saying hi to each other. It kills me. I'm not used to that. There's a way to have a conversation with somebody at the checkout line as the clerk that's not judgmental about what they're buying.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, that took it an extra step. But like I was at a store the other day and this woman had a little adorable little cherub looking baby and the baby was like grabbing at all the clothes. And I said, oh, somebody is going to be a shopper. And she yanked the baby away like I was going to steal her. And I was like. I hate that. You're like, hey, I'm not the geezer band. I was like, all right, I guess I'll just keep to myself. Let's all just go through this world alone. We went to the store. Jamie and I went to Statler Brothers on Saturday, and we walked in, and it was pretty odd because this lady had a cart, and in the cart was a dog. In the store. And it wasn't a seeing eye dog. It was in the cart. Supermarket? In the supermarket. Yeah, inappropriate. Absolutely. It was like a little Bichon. I brought my dog to the grocery store. They asked me to bring it outside. Well, we have two, but we put it in a sack. It looks like a purse. You'd never know. I could have Penny right here. You'd never know. Her fleas would be in all the produce. But this dog is sitting there. Wait, wait, wait. You put Penny in a bag?
And take her to the grocery store? All the time. Take her to the grocery store? It's inappropriate. It's not inappropriate. She's in a bag. Don't worry about it. Let's not get off topic. I'll hold the dog. I want this topic back. I do too. This is what's uncomfortable. When I walk up and she's standing there holding her cart, just standing. She's not even shopping. And this dog's in there and I go, I'm like, my little baby, come here. And I go to pet it. She looks at me like I'm Mark David Chapman. She's like, hey, Richard Ramirez, get away from my cart. I was like, and I literally, you know me, I was like, oh, somebody's in a good mood and like walked away. What? That's great. Maybe people here smile and say hi. Maybe when you hold the door open for someone and they don't say thank you, you yell, you're welcome at them. Oh, I do. I do that. I do all the time. I do that. I do not do that. Welcome to California. That makes me so mad when you hold a door open for someone and they don't say thank you. It's true.
It can happen anywhere. It's not exclusive to California. I know. Not in Texas. I'm saying it's anywhere. Not in Texas. In Texas. Hey, how you doing? How you doing, pal? Good to see you, man. Get right in front of me. I mean, I will kind of have. I'm born and raised from San Diego. No one loves San Diego more than me. But, I mean, you go other places and there seem to be friendlier people. I'll tell you why. Yeah, we've talked about it. Because everyone's an implant here. It's not just that. The reason that I think that people are weary of people. in California is crime. No. No. Excuse. Let me try. Let me finish. Let me try this one. Did you just try to do the scuse again? We did scuse again. Scuse, say it. You can't just get away with that. New York City and Philadelphia, some of the most talkative, friendly people. Yeah. Some of the highest crime rates. Bad rap, too. In Philadelphia, in Philadelphia, owned and raised, you don't have people getting into tanks and driving down the 163. So it's not just the crime, it's the... I moved out of Texas because of the crime. But they're super friendly. I get that there's crime. Oh, there's people being shot right in front of you. But what I'm saying is that in California, you have crime combined with... I think that's standard anyway. I really do. I mean, I think you can go to Billings, Montana and run into a lunatic. I'm just saying, and I've noticed, the way I use the example is, we've lived in our house since April.
have never met my next door neighbor. Have never, he's never come over. But that's just as much your bad as it is theirs. Thank you. No, I've been like, hey man, how you doing? Did you go over to the house? No. But he's been in the, I'm like, hey man, how you doing? And he'll look at me and nod and I'm like, whoa. As opposed to giving you the Gettysburg address? No, how you doing? He looks at him like, mind your business. Yeah, kind of one of those. It's crazy. It's crazy. Hey, how are you? I take a plate of food next door. Like when we first moved in, I took a plate of food next door to the only guy and he was like, Don't eat it, guys. It's poison. Yeah, there's poison in it. It's crazy. It really is. In Texas, you take a plate of food, and they're like, hey, come on in, have a beer. It's nuts. If it were me, and I think to myself, do unto others as you would have them do to you, to me, that means give them their privacy. Honestly, it does. I like to be friendly. I like to say when I hold the door open or somebody holds the door open for me, man, thank you. I appreciate that. You know, it's not that hard to throw a smile on. 570-1949. Give us a call right now and tell us what you think. 570-1949. Which is great, which really reminds me of the campaign that I'm starting, which is the Be Different campaign. We're all wearing black wristbands right now that say Be Different. And it's a campaign of...
Kindness. Niceness. Niceness. And I do think that, you know, being kind is saying hi when somebody says hi to you. Give the courtesy wave in the car. For sure. For sure. And I get this website, bedifferentpact.com. Sonny from POD is in. Heath Bell from the Padres is in. And listen, I think it's a cool thing to be kind, to be nice. But I wonder what... There is a sense of paranoia. I think that's it. Paranoia. And I've never really seen anything like it. And I get really nervous when I have to go to the grocery store here specifically in my neighborhood because the people that are in my neighborhood. are not super friendly. And like, if I, oh, I'm sorry, man. They will look at me like I just kick their dog, honestly. And I'm like, finally, the other day, a lady, I go, oh, I'm sorry. She goes, oh, no problem. I was like, babe, did you hear that? Did you hear that? I was like, I got some reciprocation. I really do think it's a fear. I want to know. I think people are so caught up in their own world that it's so stressed. And so many, you know, you got Facebook, you got this, you got that. You're like, I am turned off. I've just shut off. That's true.
I think that's true. It's like a self-centered. And you know what? It's funny that you say that because our nanny is from Budapest and she said, I think people here are so nice. Oh, really? Yeah, she goes, if you ride the train in Budapest, everybody have in their iPod and nobody say anything to anybody. That's the public transportation. That's the motto. That's like the creed. You just. Do your thing. That's kind of the bit in big cities, on the subways, on the buses and things like that. Keep to yourself. M1 John from San Diego. What's up? Do you yell you're welcome? Thank you very much. It makes them feel bad. I am definitely my own little world guy. I'm in my own little world and I space out on stuff. And if somebody yelled, you're welcome, I would be mortified. Yeah. And I would say to them, holy cow, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Yeah. They'd be like five steps ahead of you at that point, if they were me at least. Yeah. You just kind of yell it while you're walking away. But you would definitely think next time to be like uber.
I should stop saying Uber. Don't ever say Uber. You should be hypersensitive to saying thank you. That's the problem with people like me. You won't say thank you the next time? I'm in my own world. It isn't that I'm an impolite person. It's that I'm very, like, spacey. Doesn't cut it, Mike. No. I agree. It really doesn't. I think that you would be so mortified if it happened one time that you would be more aware of it. I think you would, too. If I got you passive-aggressively, I hold the door for you, you walk in, and you don't say a word, and I go, oh, you're welcome. Just like that, you'd be like, oh, God, I'm so sorry, man. And then the next time, I swear it would register in the back of your mind. It would. You'd be nervous driving the story. You'd be ashamed. Remember to say thank you. Remember to say thank you. But if that's true, why do I make this mess up all the time? Do you do that? Not that particular one, but like you guys know with the social graces, I'm the worst. I am not the guy that knows to bring a bottle of wine or I'm not the guy that like, because I don't, there's something about it that's just like, can we cut out the.
Frivolity. Pleasantries. But by knowing that you're not that guy, don't you now know that that's what you need to do? Overcompensate. It's not authentic to me, and I'm repelled by it. Yeah, I think that people should be more forthcoming with that kind of stuff, and we shouldn't just assume anymore that you should do these things and should do these things. Phone lines are blowing up, by the way. M1 Leonidas from La Mesa. Hey, guys. And Mikey, just for the record, I love you, buddy. Thank you, dude. Hey, I love what you guys are doing. And your BeDifferentPack.com is great. Signed up yesterday. I couldn't be more behind it. I even called my buddy in support of it, who's an actor, to get behind it. And I'm waiting to hear from him. That's awesome. And by the way, if people go to BeDifferentPack.com, you can find out more about it. But we're also looking for some volunteers that can help us because we've got to send these out. We've got to send these wristbands out. You know, there's just no way that I'm going to be able to address thousands of. Yeah, we're getting a huge response. Like it's gnarly. I mean, it is literally a viral thing. I mean, it has just way beyond my expectations, which I shouldn't be surprised because I prayed that this thing would be big. And yesterday we walk into a hospital room and Mike Sweeney's there and is interested in it. Yeah. So an answer to prayer. Go ahead, Leonidas.
On topic, I just want to say I couldn't agree with you guys more. And what's worse is when you're going through double doors, and you say you go through the right door, and people want to squeeze through the right door when they can easily open the left door to get in or out of. That's true. That's true. Upon not saying anything like thank you, and I'm just like Lauren, I look back and say, yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Hey, Leonidas, thank you, man. We appreciate the call. Hey, no problem. Love you guys. Love you. Is it M1 Bono or Bono? Bono. Bono from San Diego. You're 52 years old and you've seen kind of a change here in San Diego. I mean, if you go back down the camera in the 1800s. Wow. And it is just night and day. Really? We're talking about grocery store. If it's, you know, where you are. I mean, it's just, I've had neighbors that literally, the same thing that you guys were talking about a few minutes ago, where they'll come out and, you know, hey, you know, I see what you're saying, but I also think that that's everywhere. It's not. No, no, no. Okay, you guys. Let me hear your point. Yeah, just listen to me. I just said that I've been born and raised from San Diego. I'm from here. And I agree with you that people are not very polite here. I'm going to get that out first. But I also want to say, you know, 30 years ago or however long ago he remembers.
everywhere, Texas, New York, wherever, I guarantee people were more friendly. Texas, I'm sure more friendly than San Diego, still today. But I think just in general, people have their iPods in now. People are walking around texting. No one's paying attention to anyone else anywhere. It's not just here. In New York City, I think that's the bit. I think in New York City, people are in their own world. They're on the subway. They're not talking to one another and, hey, how are you? I mean, I've been to New York. Yeah. It just depends on what situation. If you're on the street, Or in the subway, it's kind of like you've got a destination. You're going somewhere. If you stop in to get a bagel, it's like, hey, how you doing? Where you been? See, I don't want to bother people. It's not a bother, man. It's friendly. It's being different. I'm going to have to think about that. Okay. Because I'm definitely down with if somebody says hi, being kind and nice. Of course. But maybe you're right. Maybe being different is saying hi to somebody. Paid forward. I still want to intrude. Paid forward. All right. I like it. Oh, I haven't done the Taylor Swift thing. I haven't played it for you. I want you to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taylor Swift and talking about why she wrote that song about John Mayer. Woods is really... Love it. He really likes that song by Taylor Swift. Every day. Every day. We're going to get it for the rest of the year. Every day. Woods is going to like this.
Taylor Swift talking about that song she wrote for John Mayer. So you continue to write about ex-boyfriends. You would think that people would be scared to even be near you because they have to know, right? Because that's what you write about your experience. It seems to be the pattern, yeah. And there's a new one that people are speculating that it was about John Mayer because it's Dear John. It could just be a Dear John song. It could just be that. I'm sure the laughter is, so are you going to say. Don't be annoying. Just say it. That song kind of is what it is. Okay, great. We know the answer now. It's about him. So now, well, you didn't dispute it, so obviously. The thing is, when I was 12 years old and I started writing songs, I was writing songs about my life. Just because more people are now kind of more interested in the subject material of those songs, rather a little more than when I was 12. Right. Now, I'm still going to continue to write about my life. And I guess people are going to continue to speculate about it. And I'm going to continue. Well, why don't we not speculate? Why don't you just say it? Like, why is that? Why does it have to be? It doesn't make it more desirable to us because we don't know.
It does? Yes, it does. So you're going to download it? Why do you think I love it? I already did download it the day it came out. You're going to download it. You like the song. But I also liked the backstory. When I heard the backstory, I was like, I've got to hear it. But if she talked about it, you would like it just as much. I don't know. You would. I don't know. I love that salacious thought. And I told you, I put myself in her little shoes and thought about that. No, you put yourself in his big shoes. Oh, yeah, yeah. I put myself in his big shoes and thought... What if she was writing it about me? And I'm a 35-year-old man, and she's a young 21-year-old girl. 21-year-old angel. And what if I broke her heart, and it was so impactful to her? That she sat down one night and wrote this about Stephen R. Woods. Woods is like, yeah, I know. It revolved around me, didn't it? It was all, it was Woods, Woods, Woods. Woods on sports. I know, I got you, didn't I, girl? I know, I've done it before.
I want a video with woods in it. What? Let's make one. Slow motion woods. With me and Taylor? No, just you and a skirt. Singing. We'll get. We'll get. Oh, my God. A skirt wearer. Yeah, look at you, little girl. Why'd you turn the song down? Because I'm trying to figure out where Jay was going. I know. He's such a little girl for lack of this song. Yes, he is. Am I? Yeah. Grow up, Sally. I love it. I'm not embarrassed. Listen. I'm not embarrassed. Jay likes it. Oh, I know he does. I damn straight know he does. You like it. I like the fleet foxes, the night marchers. Come on, dude. Keep going. You can say you can like this. I liked it the first couple times I heard it, but I'm kind of over it. You better get used to it because you'll be hearing it every day. On every single day. On what? Every single day. Our show. On the Molly show. That's true. The Molly show. On the Molly show. Every day. The rest of the year. I'm just mouthing it. It's like, really? I should have known. Wow. I love it. Not embarrassed at all. I love it. Clearly. Yeah. Jay, we're listening to it today when we're driving to LA. Yes, we are. We're going to go back and forth. My truck, my rules. You get one, I get one. There's no way. You guys can fight later. Taking my iPod. Breaking your iPod. Now, Taylor, if you were to write a song right now about love.
How would that go? What? Like if you would just write a song, are you optimistic about love? How do you feel about love right now? I'm always optimistic about love. What's down there? What do you keep looking at down there? That's my hands and my dress. Going like that? So you're always optimistic about love? Yes, always, sometimes. But right now you are. Well... Why wouldn't anyone be? Sienna couldn't be more annoyed. Couldn't be more annoyed. I love her. I love her too. I think she's brilliant. I love her. She's so annoying. Not annoying even a little bit. Oh my gosh, stop acting like a 12-year-old little girl. On a scale of 1 to 10, on a scale of 1 to 10, 0.
I would say it's annoying that she's not talking about her song because she put it out there for us all to listen to. Just tell us the back story. But this about her relationship, I can see her wanting to be private about that. No, I would never want to be friends with her. She'd be so boring. Why if everybody knows, though, L.O.P.? Not everybody knows. And maybe she's like, great, if I go out and say, like, maybe they're just kind of dating. And she's like, if I go out there and say it, then he's going to be like, oh, wow, you had to tell Ellen? Great. She's got a point. You're a psycho. Lauren has a legitimate point in that. If you're just starting to see somebody, you don't even know what you are yet. Yeah. She's like dangling meat in front of people. And if she tells Ellen, she tells the world. Woods, you had a look on your face right now like, nope, I'm not buying it. LB's just private. No, I think, you know, I agree with L.O.B. I don't think if you're in a relationship, you have to tell everybody, you know, because it is soon. It is probably new. Yeah. And yeah, like L.O.B. I can picture. Dude, I have a perfect scenario. I started Jamie and I broke up at one point. I started dating a girl and I literally remember she showed me her phone and her friend had texted her. Oh, you're in love. We've been on like three dates.
Never called her again. I got to my apartment. I go, dude. I told my buddies. I was like, dude, I never called her again. We'd been on three dates. Had a nice time. I guarantee that's not in the trailer. Creep. That's scary. She showed me her phone and said, oh my gosh, you're in love. And I was like, see you later. Out. Maybe that's what she did. She showed it to you. Oh, that's weird. Maybe she was like, they were kind of taking it slow, and she was like, I told my mom about you. And he was like, I'm out. See you later. Yeah. Could be. That was a really good Taylor Swift. Thank you. I guarantee it. It was. He probably met her parents on the first date. She's like, you need to be my mom. She's my BFF. She's my manager. Sienna has the most diabolical thoughts about Taylor Swift. She's like, I bet she went off the pill and didn't tell him. Hey, after dinner, can we go stop and get some cupcakes? Idiot. Do you like Twilight? Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? He's like, what?
He's like, here, shut up. Smoke this. Shut up. Smoke this. 5701949. People are texting in and talking about the whole San Diego politeness and all that stuff. They tell me to go home? No. In fact, it says, I'm with the kid. Common courtesy. We're all in it together. M1 twin mommy. M1 Lush texted and said, I don't open the door to get a response or a pat on the back. I still feel good about what I did, whether they notice or not. Yeah. That's the way to go about it. It's just common courtesy, though, man. It's not that difficult to say, hey, thanks. It's just not that hard. Guys, this is Sandra Rossi calling in. I heard you talking about, you know, being polite thing. I couldn't agree more. Thank you. That's part of your platform now. Which is, yeah, which is why I'm running as a write-in for governor. And today's, you know, the day. Today's the day everybody's going to the polls. You nervous? I'm not nervous at all. I'm more confident than I've ever been. You know why? Why? Rolling mic. Oh, wow. Thank you. Get that out of your head.
Thank you. This message has been brought to you by Jerome's Furniture, who specializes in the best furniture in the world. You can check them out at Jerome's.com. Is it a new sponsor? What? Oh, I'm not saying it's a sponsor. I'm just saying that if you want to get a wonderful, wonderful new couch or embroidery done on any kind of furniture, check out Jerome's locator. a few convenient locations throughout San Diego. Wow. What about AIS Insurance? You like those guys? 1-800-777-4-AIS is the number. Save you money real good. Yeah. Hang on a second. Oh, God. Who's this? Captain Buzz. What are you doing here with Sandra Rossi? No. No way. You don't have a girlfriend. You guys didn't think I did, did you? No. She's not your girlfriend. I think it's time that I come clean. I'm dating. What? What the heck? Is Sandra Rossi a prostitute? No, she's not a prostitute. You're paying her to say that. Yes. You're sponsoring her campaign. Yeah, probably. I didn't pay her. We heard her. We heard her. She said, don't tell them that you paid me. That you paid me. You said you were all right. Do they know that I'm a hooker? Oh. You guys.
You guys. What? She's my girlfriend. She's not your girlfriend. We just heard her say she was a prostitute. Don't tell them that I'm a prostitute. She's a handbag-making prostitute. With her own website. I wonder, Captain Muskell, is that website a front for her escort service? She's just kidding. What did you Google to find her? Don't tell them that it's a front for my prostitution. Oh, wow. She's very open. You guys can't hear her, can you? Yes, we can hear every word. I hope they can't hear me. We can hear you. We can hear you. You guys can't hear that I'm a prostitute. Hi, guys. It's Sandra. Hi, Sandra. What are you charging? I'm not a prostitute. Aren't you? Go ahead and roll my jingle. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Wow, that song was in my head all last night. Mine, too. What are you doing? Am I calling you guys? Do not let me through. And I've had to come up with new ways to get past your phone screener.
So you paid Sandra Rossi for her services? I have the sunscreener. Talk to me again on the radio. Hey CBK, did you get your B different bracelet yet? Wow. He's easy to get. I can get him now real good. You really upset him. For someone that doesn't like our show, he's going through a lot of trouble to get on the air. Jumping through hoops. L.O.B. is what he's doing. Let's see. This text says, Mikey, I've noticed this too. A lot of people. lack basic manners and common courtesy these days? Is it maybe the fault of the parents just not teaching their kids how to behave properly? What's the excuse for the 65-year-old woman that's a B word? But I don't think that means just here. I think that that's everywhere. I agree. I know you're a big defender of San Diego and I can see why because it's amazing. No, but I do agree. And then I said that from the beginning because even like my husband who moved here from Pennsylvania, I mean, he's like, man, it's like hard to make friends. It is. You know, it is. It really, really is. It's it's I've lived in a lot of states and kids have been a nomad. Right. And it's I've felt more like stared at and not very welcoming. Weird. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But I love it.
You guys all watch Wheel of Fortune or no? 100. Every day. The guy that's the announcer, Charlie O'Donnell, just passed away at 78 years old. Oh, sad. I can't play any of those games. What do you mean? Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune. I'm terrible. Really? You can't play Wheel of Fortune? It's so easy. You got to fill in the words and all that stuff. I'm so good at it. You are? This is my wife. You either get it or you don't. Have you ever gotten one, L.O.B., before any letter was up there? No, I don't think so. I did that one time. It said musician, and I said Willie Nelson. And bam, Willie freaking Nelson. Wow. No letters. You don't want a lot of money. I just guessed. I'm so glad that I know you. Yeah. It's so bad. Hey, if you guys ever get on Millionaire, put me down as a live plan. Those things are hard, though. I am the master of the useless knowledge. Yeah. You are good. I love that stuff.
I would love for my wife to audition for Wheel of Fortune. She's great. Oh, yeah. The letter, their one U comes up and Rebecca goes, two ugly men are walking down the road singing a song to one another. Would Rebecca. Some people are so good. Would she be the girl that's like, big money, big money. Yeah, really quietly though. She's kind of shy. Big money, big money, big money. We used to play every day after school and college, my buddy Bobby and I would play Jeopardy, watching TV and keeping score. Really? And I beat him every day for a year. I talked about this earlier. What is that? I don't know. I think it's supposed to be the wheel. No, it's Woods Bong as he's watching the show. Jay, no one would have gotten that. Fair enough. That's so great. Fair enough. Here is Billy Bush talking. Can't make up names, dude. Billy Bush from Access Hollywood. Can't make up names, Mike. Pink's parents divorced when she was seven. She began smoking at age nine, and by her early teens, Pink...
Instead of this dramatic music. Very dramatic. Yes. When the subject matter is pink. I know. He's doing acid, ecstasy, and running away from home. Didn't they toss you out when you were 15 years old? I deserved it. I would have kicked me out when I was eight. How do you toss out a 15-year-old? Have you ever? He didn't meet me at 15. In the years since, Pink and her parents have become close. I think parents need to beat the crap out of their kids. Really? Yes. I think the whole spanking thing and how it's all gotten PC is just for the birds. Did your father spank you? Oh, he put me through a wall. It's the only reason I'm still here. It's the only reason I'm still alive. Her dad's like, great. Thanks. I saw CBS knocking on my door. He's like, great pink. Yeah. Alicia, she is the scariest chick out there. She would beat the crap out of me and Mikey for sure. I mean, her dad was probably scared for his life when she was an eight-year-old. Punched him in the face. Every time I picture pink, I picture a pink wife beater with sweat stains. Yes.
I do. Is that weird? I picture, like, a boy haircut and army cargo pants. And hair under her arms for some reason. But just stubble. But just stubble. And slight, slight. Stinky, yes. And maybe even a little. Slight. Maybe even a little beard. No. I do. Only at sunset when she turns to the side. And you see the gold and then you see the little tiny mustache when she turns to the side. That has Budweiser foam on it. Oh my gosh. She could probably drink a 40 faster than anyone out there. A thousand percent. With a paper bag on the outside. Do you think that Pink has ever wore velour pants that say pink on the butt with a pink... tank top with sweat pits and been sitting on a balcony of a Four Seasons and done this. Heck no, man. I wouldn't wear those Victoria's Secret pants. Or this. Ew! Ew! That's so disgusting. She, like... She's a dude, dude. She is...
She's a dude. She's pretty doodly. You want to know what, though? That she can sing. Oh, yeah. She's a good singer. She's buff. If you put me and Mikey in the ring with boxing gloves on, she would beat the crap out of both of us. And Jay. Probably one punch. Jay would beat her. Jay would take her. Jay's freakishly strong. She could beat the three of you. I'd like to put Taylor Swift in the ring with her. Thank you. Me, too. I'd like to. What? She'd be a million-dollar baby. Taylor Swift would write a song about you. Jay was a creep because he dated me at 47 years old. I'm the same age as his daughter, but that doesn't stop that old creep. He said we were going to the store and we ended up in Julian. She loved it. She loved it. And he kicked my butt in. Then I just look like a freak. He took me to Garrett. Hey, Jay, do we have the Manny Pacquiao? Yes. Where is it? It should be on your page. What page? Yeah, page one. Main array. Go back one. Okay, because I know, but this is my old Manny Pacquiao.
Manny Pacquiao is probably pound for pound one of the best boxers in the world. Filipino truly believes, this is the brilliance, truly believes that he is a great, not good, a great singer. In fact, one of the greats. Like Sinatra, Elvis. Manny Pacquiao. In Manny's head. Manny knows that he's incredible. He knows that. What he hears coming through his speech is honey in his own ears. So Will Ferrell went on Jimmy Kimmel and sang Imagine by John Lennon with Manny Pacquiao.
We will play it for you when we come back. Ever get a song stuck in your head? All day. Ever be a fat Mexican and go on? Is it weird that I have a feather bow on? Weird that you've got that meat suit on. I'll play you that nanny thing. They're delicious. Yeah, they are good. He bites into those things and he goes, I'm like, it's like boiling lava pouring out onto your lip when they come out of the microwave. Hot oil. So good. Yeah, you have to be careful. L.O.B. said that she would take it, she could take it if somebody took a Hot Pocket and poured the contents on her belly. Well, I said that because Sienna said she had done that before with another station. Yeah. I said, yeah, I'd do that. They poured the hot ingredients on my stomach. That seems like horrific. Horrific. Yeah, that's what you do to get on the air sometimes. I'll let you guys drip candle wax on me or something if you want to. You'd like it, weirdo.
I'd let you guys do butterfly kisses to me, I guess. You guys could both massage me or something if you wanted to, I guess. For the air, if we had to. I mean, if the news will come and everything. He's like, hey, Sienna, I would get into a sleeping bag with you for four hours. I would motorboat you for the show. I would. It would be fun. It would be fun. Get in line. Stop it. Figure eight. I'll figure eight. Figure eight? You just killed me. That's okay. It won't hurt you. Figure eight. It won't hurt you. Funny. M1 Josh from Poway. What was the word of the day? Lava. Nice. Missed it. Again? Yep. Like hot lava. I miss it every time. Hot lava. Good job, dude. You won four packet tickets to the eighth anniversary bash. FM 94.9's 8th anniversary bash. Which, by the way, is right now for the next 8 days only $20. And then the price is going to go back up to $26. But it's a great show, dude. You're going to have a great time. It's at 4th and B on the 13th. Hold steady. Night marchers. New politics. Company of thieves. Thanks, Garrett. See you there. So it's going to be a good show. Hang on the line, okay? Congratulations. To you. Let's see.
Oh, Manny Pacquiao singing with Will Ferrell. Imagine. Pretty song. It is. Will Ferrell starts it out. I love that he's giving it everything. Oh, of course. Oh, wow. Get it. No, it isn't. He thinks this is brilliant, right? Brilliant. He's dead serious. 100%. In fact, he knows that. Manny Pacquiao. Oh my God. Guarantee he didn't crack his mind. No. He delights me. Manny Pacquiao. Manny Pacquiao's brilliant. He delights me.
Yes, harmonizing. Oh, wow. That was so beautiful. Oh, my gosh. I love me some Manny Pacquiao. We need to get like a greatest hits record he does or something. You know what I mean? We got to buy his album. It's always, you know, it's always the I'm not kidding element of stuff that just tickles me to no end. When we did a couple of times on our show, we've done celebrity albums. So when they put out albums and you know. you know that they're in that studio and they got those earphones and they're looking down and they're like, they're giving it all they got. But the result is a big turd. Yes. And you're like, really? You're going to put that out? Like there was a few we had that were just, they think it's unbelievably great. How about the producer guy that's in the other room and he's actually running things. He's going, yeah, yeah, that was a take, man. That's the one. That's a take right there. You got it. The thing that gets me about it is the element of you realize that I could do this.
instead of what you know me for. Right. You know me for... Charles in Charge. Charles in Charge. But this is a viable career. This is a viable career. If I want it, I can have it. Yeah. You know, and the way I always picture that going down is Scott Baio going, you know, his people going, hey, bro, you know, you're hot right now. You probably need to cut a record. And he's like, do you think I can do it? And he tries, and they're like, dude, that'll fly. That'll fly. You know? You want to take it from the top? Yeah, let's try it. The best. Mark Wahlberg. In the movie Boogie Nights. Get it. Oh. Uh-oh. Listen to this one. He's really getting after it now. You know, I think we should repeat that. I think we should repeat that again.
Let's lay it down. Let's lay it down. Are we rolling on the rehearsal? Let's lay it down. It's the best. Speaking of singing, let's do a little Ding Dong Singalong. The way that Ding Dong Singalong works is very simple. You're going to call... And hopefully win a prize. What's the prize today, Jay? Barty Art Expo tickets. There you go. You want to go see the best in tattoos, piercings, all that stuff. If you're into it, this is the thing to do. Okay, now, the way that it works is I'm going to play a song. The song is going to abruptly stop. When it stops, you pick up where it stopped. The only thing we ask of you is, don't say that you can't hear it.
And if you don't know the song, be creative and make something up. Sing something. And don't sing this. I don't know this song. Don't do that. That's the worst. I mean, it's the easiest. Listen, it's the easiest. You can win so easy. It's just, you make something up. I don't know the words to this song at all, but I really love the Mikey show. Yeah, I'm driving in my car. I'm on the freeway. Hey, on the five. M1 Picanto Bronco from Scripps Ranch. Are you there? I am. How you doing? Hey there. All right, dude. So you know the rules, right? Yes, I do. When the song stops, you start. Here we go. Well done, my friend. Well, well done. I can guarantee every girl in the car just turned that one up. So good, that song. Every guy, if they were by themselves. True. If there was no girl in the car. M1 Otterpop from San Diego. Are you there?
You ready to give this a shot? Yeah, try. When the song stops, you start. Here we go. I can look at that video. L.O.B. watches that video every day. I love it. He's wearing these overalls, but they're like vinyl overalls, and they come down really low. Well, they come down about here, and he's got no shirt on, and his hair's all in little braids with little beads in it. L.O.B.'s like, they actually come down to right here. I prefer the Kiss by a Rose video. M1 Ninja from Mira Mesa. Are you there? I am, indeed. You ready to give it a shot? This time we're competing for anniversary bash tickets. Okay, cool.
Are you ready? I sure am. Alright, here we go. When the song stops, you start. Here we go. Everything I do, I do it for you. Yay! All of our faces lit up when the song started playing. I raised my arm. Yep. Like, that's the jam. Love it. I love you so much. I think every man and woman alive, somewhere in their... Cold, dark, creepy heart loves that song. Oh, yeah. It's so great. Yeah. Hang on the line. Robin Hood. Robin Hood. You got it. Robin Hood. Close enough. Kevin Costner. Swords. All I know is that that song was number one in America for about 157,000 weeks. I had the single on cassette. Oh, that's so good. It was the number one. I was Michael Shannon doing the Michael Shannon thing. Let's hear it. Let's hear it.
K-Wave 97 FM. It's Michael Shannon. Got a request from Tanya for her boyfriend Steve. She wanted to do Brian Adams. Everything I do, I do it for you. It's on K-Wave 97 FM. Wow. I probably played this song a million times. You know that one, like the back of your hand. Let's keep it on. Let's just do the show with the rest of it. Isn't it gross? Unbelievably great. Let's keep it in the background the rest of the morning. Eighth grade year, just sitting there thinking, we can make this work. We can do this forever. I think I'm going to marry her. I'm going to marry her. I know I'm 13, but I'm going to marry her. In fact, I'm never going to fall in love again. It will never happen. What I feel right now is never going to happen again. My parents don't have this. Nobody has this.
No one's felt it. My parents will never understand. My parents will never understand, and they've never felt this. In fact, I don't think anyone has. They like each other. I love this girl. We are so meant to be. All the things I do. I get out of bed. I have a Pop-Tart. I get on the bus. I go to school. I tightroll my jeans. Everything I do is for that girl. Even when I'm doing my homework? I freaking love her. And I do it for her. And when I'm old enough to drive, we're going to go somewhere. Oh, yeah, we are. We're going to get out of this town. Probably going to get the hell out of here. Yeah. We're going to get out of this town together, man. Yeah. And you know what? Everybody's going to feel so sorry for themselves that they don't know what we know. Yeah, we have it. True love. We've got it. Don't tell me. Oh, isn't that great? Dude, there's a part in this song that almost brings tears to my eyes. I'm not kidding. What's the part? You know what it is? Oh, yeah, the big build. The big build. Oh, dude. Goosebumps. I would die. Yes, that's it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, listen. Kills me. If the guy's anything, he's a brilliant songwriter. Yeah, and then there's a long pause. He says, walk the wire for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not this break. It's true. It's not.
You know how much reminiscing is going on in cars all over the city right now? Every dude and every chick was like, I made out to this. For a while forgot we were on the video. We were all just looking at our feet. Just thinking, I'm like, Craig. I completely forgot. Melissa! Wendy! I thought he was going to propose to this song. Phil. Oh, my gosh. LeBron. This is it, right? Is this it? Yep. It's coming. Right here. This is it. Oh, the hair on my arm is here. Sweating. Wait for it. Wait for it. This was me during commercials while that was playing. I'd be like while I was playing on the air I'd be like, I wish I had a girlfriend! I wish I had a girlfriend! And then back on the mic. Oh, that was Brian Adams. And everything I do, I do it for you. And it's by request for Stacey going after Brian. We'll be back in just a minute with another non-stop music suite. Turn the microphone on.
Just one girl. I just want to kiss a girl. I just want to kiss one girl. Love me. Love me. Please love me. Have you guys ever plagiarized a love song like you're writing something to somebody and you're sure they don't know this line? I did it to a Brian Adams. Like in a note? I wrote a love letter to a girl one time, and I said something to her in there that I knew she wouldn't know that it came from this song. It was a Bryan Adams song, and I think he says... It's gotta be heaven, right? No, no, no. What's the song where he says something like, I can see my... Even if I said it, if the girl were listening right now, she'd be like, U-S-O-B. Like, you stole that from a song? Done it a million times. A million times. What is the song by him where he says something to the effect of, I can see my kids in your eyes. I see my children in your eyes. I don't know. If someone said that to me, I'd be like, ah. Yeah. I used to rip lines all the time. I think this might be it. What song is this? Do I have to say the words? Yep. Oh, do I love me some Brian Adams, man.
I got time to tell you about Brian Adams. He was on top of the world. Yeah, he was. Dude, from everything I do, I do it for you money. Probably buy an island. 100%. Is that like 91, 92? 91. He's just like killing it. Yeah. I mean, Brian Adams probably made $100 billion from everything I do, I do it for you. I like heaven better, but that one is a close second than Brian Adams. Heaven slays me. Oh. I put this on a mix CD for my beautiful wife when we first started dating. Did you really? Yeah. 100%. You are the cheesiest. I know. Kid's real romantic. Yes, he is. Made her a little mix last night, too. You did? For our anniversary, yeah. Oh, that's sweet. You would like that, right, LLB? Yeah, absolutely. Guy being all sweet like that. My husband would never do that. Some girls don't like it. It'd be like... Todd Smith. That's what my mix would say. Yeah. I'm always the CD giver. I'll be like, did you listen to track six? What did you think? I thought it was good. It was good. Well, did it remind you of anything? What just happened?
What was that? That was L.O.B. I know, I'm joking. Santa, honey. You're a monster. What about? Christmas tree. Wow. Little pitchy dog. Little pitchy dog. Cooking. Why the long face? I love this one. When we come back, I have the audio from a news story in Cleveland where an 11-year-old boy got detention for farting. Tonight at 11, how a gaseous explosion in Cleveland maimed six and earned an 11-year-old detention. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Sean Brokaw, NBC Night News, New York.
Today, an 11-year-old boy was given attention for 40 in class. Play the news report next. Now that I know it's the clean version, I want to do it. Sage heard a lot of this in my belly. She did. I'm going to try to write a rap. Please do like that. Can you do like the meter and the way he does it? I want you to try to write an Eminem rap. I'm going to. Or who's going to perform it? Hoyle. I don't know. I don't know. I can't perform it. I have to find somebody to do it. I'll do it for you, Mikey. Sometimes I can flow. You can flow. Write that down. Wow. Here is the line that I stole from Bryan Adams. Uh-oh. Gross. Unborn.
That sounds creepy. It does. I didn't put it that way. You said, I can see my unborn children in your eyes. They call that something. I thought that sounded kind of creepy, so I changed it to our children. I can see our children in your eyes. What do you think your wife, the mother of your children, is thinking about this right now? Maybe it was her. Maybe it wasn't. I was young. I was stupid and young. I found the woman. You did find the woman of your dreams. Maybe drunk. Maybe 100%. Maybe 100% drunk, scrolling lyrics from a bride's song to a girlfriend. Passed out on a paper bag. Woke up with a brick on my head. Stop. Using a broken bottle as a pillow. Let's see. Okay, so this story from Cleveland. Yeah, Kit farted and got detention. Really? Happens? Maybe not. Let's take a listen. 11-year-old Christian Summers thinks playing video games is fun. According to a school bus driver, he also thinks passing gas is fun. She didn't find his flatulence so funny. She's like, I'm going to sign you up. I'm going to sign you up. Can I ask a question? Yeah, I hope it's the same one I'm asking. It's probably different.
But why is it that every newscaster has to talk like this? I don't know. That's what you learn in journalism school down here at KFR Elementary School. They teach you in journalism class that whenever you're doing a story, it has to end like this. Perfect. It was an accident. What is it? Cutting a rip on the ride home, Christian was slapped with an hour of detention at the Rowe Park Elementary, which is part of the Parma City School District. I thought it was pretty dumb. The detention slip reads, quote, thinks it's funny to pass gas while in the van. You know why? Because it is. Real funny. It is funny. Pass gas. Anytime. Du Bois, it's very funny. Not anytime. Anytime. Not anytime. In the studio with your friends working, maybe. Not funny. It is funny. Not funny. The tension for you. Anytime someone farts, you will laugh. Yes. Not when you're in a car. That's the worst. Yes, it's the best. I'm going to do it to Jay today. No. Worst. I get fearful, which makes me angry.
I get fearful that I'm going to smell your fart, and I don't want to. If you do it, I'm going to roll up the windows and lock them when I do it. I'm going to repay you back, and then I'm going to turn the heater on. Fine. Bake you out. To stop it, that it's not funny nor polite to the others in the van. While the others scream, he laughs. What? True. Little baby wet. This is nuts. I just farted. What? That this is a news story. What do you think this woman said when she had to pre-read her news? That's what I'm wondering. Hey, Angela, we have an assignment for you today. Well, what is it? You're going to be going to Midtown. Oh, great. Okay. There's a kid down there. He's 11 years old. His name is Simon Thompson. Oh, man. Is everything okay? Everything's fine. He farted in a van. So we'll need you back by 6 so we can have it prepped for 11. You expect me to report on a fart? Well, it wasn't just that. He got detention.
Expect me to report on detention farts? Yeah, you can call them detention farts. You can even say cutting a rip. Yeah, you can say cutting a rip. No one will know what the hell you're talking about. Who thinks of that? Cutting a rip. I think it was definitely not worth being disciplined over. We called the school and the district for comment, but they passed. But they passed. Their gas. Passed. A district spokesman did, however, send us this emailed response. It reads, quote. It reads, quote. Matters involving student discipline are resolved by building administration in accordance with established district guidelines and policies. Christian now fears his flatulence. If he's caught passing gas on the bus again, he could get four or five years in prison. All the other kids are going to do it. They're going to be like, Christian! Depends on how much more gas he has. Now he's secretive when letting one slip on a small school bus. When I have to pass gas.
I have to cover myself because... The blanket. The hazmat suit. Oh my gosh. Something like this shouldn't even have been a write-up. In Parma, Emily Valdez, Fox 8 News. And I'm now out of a job. Oh my gosh. What do you think that kid's nickname is going to be? Farty. Toots. Toots. Toots Magoots. Toots Magoots. Everyone on that bus, you laugh at a fart, Mike. Stinky. It doesn't matter. No, no, no, I don't. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. When Woods does it, I don't like it. When you're 10, maybe you laugh. Everyone in the world laughs at a fart. Smells bad. Oh. He just did it right now. Did he? Yeah. No, I did it. Woods. Yes, you did. I faked it. No, you didn't. I heard it. Wow. Can I tell you one story that happened the other day that made me laugh so hard? Don't laugh. I'm not. She's laughing. She just laughed. I heard you. I'm smiling at Sienna. She didn't even say anything. You laughed. Sorry. No, I didn't laugh. Lauren in her burka. So.
We have a housekeeper that comes over and she doesn't speak any English. And she only comes like twice a month. Doesn't speak a word of English. So I have to give her like broken Spanish. And so I'm changing Sage's diaper and she's cleaning in the same room. And Sage farts really loud. And she dies laughing. And I look at her and we're both laughing. And I can't communicate with her, but we're laughing so hard over this part. How bad was it? Well, they don't smell, but it was loud because there's no diaper on. It was like skin to skin. And she just busted up laughing. Oh, my God. It was the best. That's something that you don't. It's universal. Yes. Everyone gets it. No language barriers. I was like, sage. Of course. Funniest thing in the world to me. Wow. Apparently it's the funniest thing. When I go into the bathroom and I close the door and Jake, my four-year-old, runs over to the door and he says through the door, he goes, Daddy, are you going to toot? And I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I'm mortified. I hope not, son. And I go, I go, I go.
I don't know, bub. I don't know. Get away from the door. Get away from the door. Get away from the door. Mike right now is sitting in toilet position. Elbows on knees. Daddy, are you going to shoot? No, no, no. Where's your... Babe! Babe, can you get him? I'm clenching up. Jasper says to me yesterday, he goes, boy, Dad, you're really going to work in there. Oh, wow. You're like, get away from the door. Get away from the door. Give me some privacy, please. Please. I'm the man, a grown adult. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm in the bathroom. I go in there and read. But I go in there like 15 times a day. So, I mean, my kids are going to be like, daddy, daddy. I'm going to be like, get away from here. When Jenna was little, Todd's routine was he would come home from work and that's what he does. So she would be so excited to see dad because he'd been gone all day that she needed to get in that bathroom. So she would just go and sit in there when he was going. No way. And he said that's how she learned to be potty trained like really quick. She would sit in there. I know you shouldn't care. Absolutely. That would freak me out, man. I love it. 5701949 is our number. And what do I got for you? Oh, there's a new discovery that could lead to the cure of the common cold. Can you imagine? A cure to the common cold. I thought the common cold was a bit. No. It's real. I don't know.
Ella B., I have to find out what you even mean by that when we come back. Okay, so a new discovery that could lead to the cure to the common cold. Now, first I want to ask Ella B., why do you think it's a bit? Because I heard there's no actual virus or anything like that. No, it's just people having symptoms, and it's more mental than anything else. Yeah, but the symptoms are real. Runny nose. Yeah, and then you're like, oh my God, my nose is so runny. After it's just a couple sniffles. But you do. I had a chest cold last week. Like when you cough and stuff comes up, that was real. That was like a bacterial infection. Yeah, that's a virus. Like I heard the actual common cold is nothing more than just being a Sally. Wow. I got it backwards, by the way. Viral, you can't do anything about. Right.
Bacterial, you can't. Which I did. You kill it with Z-Pak, antibiotics, whatever. If it's viral, you just have to let it run its course. Well, basically, they're saying right now British scientists have shown now for the first time that the body's immune system can destroy the common cold virus after it's invaded a human cell. Oh, it's a virus. Yeah, and apparently until now that was believed to be impossible. They're saying that this leads to the cure for the common cold as well as other virus-caused diseases using a new class of antiviral drugs that would work by enhancing this virus-killing machinery of the cell. Can you imagine that one day our kids go, Dad, what was a cold like? Because we got a shot for a cold when we were a kid and we never get it. Because we got our cold shot. Like polio. Weird. Jay, what was polio like? It was hard on the entire family. What was Salk like? Dr. Jonas Salk. How was TB, Jay? Did you ever get dysentery? Oh my gosh. What was the Civil War like? I can tell you about the plague. Was George Washington nice?
You want to do some new releases? Yes. Let's see. Let's do some new releases. I have them here somewhere. You tell me when you're ready. That'll be a couple days. Main array. How's everybody? Doing good. Good, hanging in? Yeah. Good, love you. What page? How are you doing? It's your very first page where all your working parts are. That sounded dirty. Weird. Working parts. I can come in there. I'm coming in there. Uh-oh, here he comes. Uh-oh, uh-oh. He's running. Oh boy. Enhance. You want me to tie the button? I'll do something else so you can get them. There's too many buttons on that screen. Buffering.
I can talk about Joe Miller. This is pretty crazy. You want to talk about this? Well, it's been suspected for a while that the Alaska media has been playing favorites. Sarah Palin will back up that statement. And apparently, an affiliate with CBS called... Their name is KTVA. They were caught conspiring against someone running for Senate, Joe Miller. Basically, they left a voicemail message, which inadvertently was left on the cell phone of Joe Miller campaign. So there's audio of this news company conspiring against him, like basically making up stories that they could say to ruin him. It is truly insane. Who's the dummy that accidentally dialed them? I mean, just fabricating complete stories. I have it, and it's the craziest piece of audio. It, to me, sounds like an accidental dial. You know, like they had the phone in their pocket. Butt dial. Yeah, a butt dial.
Sarah Palin's taking this opportunity. The other night she was on. Weird, weird, weird. Stop. She was on a being interviewed. And she said, you know, this is what I've been dealing with for the last two years. The media. She stopped her book tour down for this. Stop. The media. Was she at Neiman's charging stuff on the. The state's credit card? You have to believe. I mean, this is coming from Alaska. This is proof now that they've done it. And what makes you think that they haven't done it to her? Oh, I know why. I emailed it to you. Yeah, that's the deal. I was like, where is this thing? Okay, I got it. She's deplorable enough without having anything else to, you know. Hey, Woods. Yay, Mike. You have to admit. I don't have to admit. No, you should admit. I shouldn't. That. If in Alaska the media is doing this, why would we think? In Alaska, if the media has done this to this guy, doesn't mean they did it to Sarah Palin. Why? She's screwed up enough on her own. They probably don't need to do anything to her. She's already made a fool out of herself. But why is it a stretch?
They're clearly against Republican candidates. Excuse me, but they said that I made moose burgers. They did. And geese hot dogs. And, of course, who's ever even heard of a goose hot dog? That's true. I mean, come on. They were trying to screw you up. It's just hoagly-doagly. All right, listen to this. It's hard to understand. You want me to read it to you? I have the transcript. The transcript would be dynamite, pal. Yeah, that's hard. He says there's laughter, they're laughing, and female reporter says, ah, see, this isn't going to make sense out of, it's kind of out of, okay, female reporter, that's up to you because you've been the, because you have the experience, but that's what I would do. I'd wait until you see who shows up because that indicates we already know something. Then they laugh, and the female reporter says, child molesters.
The male reporter says, oh, yeah, Joe Miller's get a list of campaign people and workers and figure out which one's the molester. Female voice comes back on, says, you know that all the people that will show up tonight, at least one of them's got to be a registered sex offender. Oh, my gosh. Laughter. Then the male reporter says, we need to find that one person. Then you hear something inaudible. Female reporter comes back on and says, the one thing we can do is we won't know. We won't know, but if there is any sort of chaos whatsoever, we can put out a Twitter or Facebook alert saying something to the effect of, hey, Joe Miller got punched at a rally. Just weird. How can you just make up stuff like that and be like, oh yeah, let's get everyone to believe it. Is there any way they were doing a bit? Oh no, you can hear it. I mean, is there any way they were sitting in a meeting doing a bit? That makes them look so bad. Yeah, it definitely makes them look bad, but I mean, is there any way they were sitting around in a meeting just doing a bit on the guy that they don't like. Not that they were really planning on doing it. What if we did this? And I'm sure that's what they're going to end up saying about it. But still, it just shows them mean. Yeah, for sure. Mean as can be. New releases. We're ready. Mariah Carey, Merry Christmas to you. It's a Christmas album out today. Oh, yeah. I love it.
I don't love this, but I love Christmas albums. Her old album, The All I Won For Christmas Is You. Yeah, that's so good. I'll listen to that any time of the year. Maybe you record it. She has two packages I'd like to unwrap. Oh, boy. Jay had to say that line twice. He had it three times. I get it out. Ever get talked over? Elvis Costello. Yeah, it's National Ransom. Never got it. Never understood. I never understood it. It sounds like most of his stuff. Yeah, which I never understood. Our old pal. You got it, buddy. Neil Diamond Dreams. Oh, wow. I don't care. I'll still sing the same damn way I did in 1967. And you sound good, my friend. Of course I do. I'd buy it. Give me a copy? They're still throwing their bra on stage, pal. They're a little bigger now than they used to be. They're a lot bigger than they used to be. Panties.
A little bigger? Yeah, they fit over the bus. Depends. Depends real good. Don't you throw that up here on stage. You're going to make me vomit on your face. Get it, Neil. Good Charlotte. Cardiology. Get Charlotte. Yeah, bad Charlotte. I didn't think they were still around. Yeah, nobody did. This is Nicole Richie's husband, right? Blink-182. Ex-husband. I was just going to say that, Mike. They split, I believe. No, Ashley Simpson. Ashley Simpson split. Why do I know that? Wow. How do you know that one? How do I know that? How do I know that? My wife reads Us Magazine, People Magazine. I have to watch Extra. You know, the whole thing. You have to. Yeah, forced. Huey Lewis and the News, Soulville. New album? Yes. Wow. I like his voice. Sounds like Randy Newman. Oh, now you ruined it. Yeah. I think you're right. Don't you think so? Yeah, but until you said it, I was like, oh, cool. Huey still got it. And then you said that, and I was like, oh, yeah. I love it. Show people got. No reason. Kip to be square. I'm sorry. That's a good one. That's a jam. Nerd, nothing.
Is it a band called Nerd? N-E-R-D. Lauren, damn it! It's N-E-R-D. It's not Nerd. It's N-E-R-D. There is Nerd, but I guess it doesn't look like that. It's featuring T.I. Is it N-E-R-D? Is that with Pharrell? Pharrell is with Nerd, though. Pharrell. It's Nerd. N-E-R-D. She just said Nerd. It is N-E-R-D, for sure. That is all. What about movies? Movies. Toy Story 3 is out today. Yes! Speaking of Randy Newman. Yeah. Centurion, which I don't know what that is, but the cover looks pretty good. Michael Fossenbender and Dominic West. I mean, how could it not be? I love Michael Fossenbender. Fossenbender. Fossenbender's new movie is out on DVD. Winnebago Man, which I've never heard of. Again, looks pretty good. Oh, that's that guy. You ever seen that commercial where the guy does the outtakes and he's like, son of a bee. No. I'm a bee. No, I wanted to watch it. It's a documentary, baby. It must have been a movie out of him. It's a documentary. It looks good. Winnebago Man. You guys have never seen that?
Documentary on Winnebago as you'll be in. I'll watch a documentary on anything. I know you will. What about Pacific? And Pacific on DVD and Blu-ray. Yeah. Wow, I'm excited. Pacific is an HBO miniseries. Yeah. Just being perfect? Yep. There's nothing in Blockbuster right now. The past, like, two weeks, I've been there about three times. Oh, that was you in there. You're the one. Here she comes. Get ready. Do you walk in and they go, No. I don't know which Blockbusters you guys are going to, but the ones that I go to, they're packed. They're like a coffee house. And you get your video cassettes there? No. I get my DVDs. VHS. You shamed me out of it. when I first moved here. He's like, dude, nobody goes to Blockbuster. Where do you go? The one shut down by my house. I use On Demand like crazy. It's this crazy thing called the World Wide Web. You get movies on the internet? Yeah, I have Netflix, but it's never new enough. What the hell is the internet? iTunes. Blockbuster gets their movies three weeks before Netflix. That's a good point. I mean, if you want something now, if you've got to see something now, it's hard to get in the Netflix queue because you may not get it.
Question. Do you really have to see something? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I need to see Sex and the City 2 now. Now. Yes. No, I'm serious. I have a Netflix membership and I love it and I'm going to keep it. But sometimes I spend like a half an hour looking for something on there and I'm like, it's all crap. You know what? I'm back in with you. I'm going to start going back to Blockbuster. I like the smell of Blockbuster. I do too. I love it. I like having both. I like putting things in my queue and then, oh, look at this. And now I don't have to leave the house, but I want something new. Plus you get Junior Mints there. Oh, yeah. When you return them, do you put it right in the little drop box? Slide it right in the slot real good. I like to scare them sometimes and throw it in. To me, it looked like a leprechaun. No, to me, it's like going to a place where you get your email. Like you go to some place and there's a box and you open it up and you're like, you read it and then you're like, okay, okay. And then you take a pen and you write back and you're like, and you put it in the outgoing. What do you do when you want a movie? Like say you want to go home right now and watch a movie. This is all from a guy who doesn't watch movies. And that's the thing. I've never been like.
Oh, my God. You're rubbing my arm. I'm a movie watcher. Me too, man. He's busy watching Yo Gabba Gabba. I'm a movie watcher, too, and I won't go to Blockbuster. I'll find something else that's on demand. I don't have cable. She doesn't have cable. She doesn't have it. Well, maybe you join in 2010. Not only that, but you get it on iTunes. And then I'm going to watch it on my computer? Get it. I did. When I moved here, I did. I have a 12-inch screen. I'd rather watch it on my TV. She got a TV. It's connected to a DVD player, but she doesn't get like cable or satellite or any of that. In fact, the TV is on its way out, so I have to buy one of these new fancy pants ones. It's a tube TV. It's a box. Do you have like a dial that you change the channels? No. I push buttons. Oh my gosh. Sometimes they push themselves. Yes, they do. The channels change on their own sometimes. No, it turns on and off on its own sometimes. Hill, how do you do it? Do you order? Netflix stuff? We do Netflix and so we get the DVDs and then we watch. Sometimes we just stream movies right off and watch them on our computer because we have a couch in our office. So we'll put our girl to bed and go do that and watch.
kickback. But you know what? You're right. I'm making fun. The Blockbuster by our house is now one of those clearance blockbusters. So it's really a bummer. Are they selling the movies? Yeah. Everything's been watched a million times. It's like a flea market. The only thing left is Huck Finn. Oliver Twist. But every once in a while we'll make a run and find something. I miss those days of Blockbuster and the friggin' music store and going in the music store. You can go and do it. I love the convenience of iTunes and of Apple TV and On Demand. I watch On Demand like 50 movies a week, but something about it. I'm a nostalgic guy. I love to go look at CDs. I used to spend hours in Blockbuster. You should go to Lose Records. You're in North County. Go to Lose. They have CDs? Oh, my gosh. They've got vinyls. You'll get lost in there. You'll have so much fun. All the way in. All the way. Plus, they have live performances there, too. Yeah, all kinds of good stuff. Maybe a gig there. That's right. They have people like Nora Jones and, you know. Steve Woods. Well, what do you got coming up? I got Them Crooked Vultures, a new one from The Hold Steady, a beautiful little song from their new record, and Arcade Fire's new one, New Politics, Faith No More, Soundgarden, and I'm going to start with the Pixies. There you go.
I could listen to Hillary's voice all day long. You can. You can. You guys are too kind. FM949. 10 to 2. 3? 2. 3. Woods. Woods. All right, we got to go. Come back tomorrow morning at 6. We'll be at 6, right? He's always at 7. Instead of 7 tomorrow? Every time. Mikey shows up late.