The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/08/10
Monday, November 8, 2010
Monday November 8, 2010
Will the phone screener is late for work and Jay prepares to drop the hammer on him. M1 Paparazzi calls in after locking himself out of his own house. Sienna and Woods explain the SAT’s to Mikey. The Chargers continue winning despite another blocked punt. Wade Phillips calls in from Green Bay after being abandoned there by the Cowboys. When in doubt San Diego, guzzle beer! Mikey plays a special song for Woods’ and Jamie’s anniversary. A dude calls in “doing lines of cocaine” after a heavy night of partying and needs advice. Mikey’s growing hair has a part down the middle and Woodsy explains his out of the closet music tastes. Louis Black isn’t about to talk about bed bugs in a lowered voice. One of the rescued Chilean miners who ran six miles a day while trapped under the earth is now a NYC marathon runner. Is the new Michael Jackson song really him? An email about a doofus husband calling out another woman’s name during sex gets the gang gabbing. Woobie calls in with her best bedroom voice. Girls get to ask questions of the dudes and they want to know about pregnant beauty, not missing a girl until she’s gone, and our need for naked pictures. Rebecca secretly recorded a fantasy football-crazed Mikey as he talks to himself while rooting for the Raiders! A M1 has a problem with his mid-life crisis dad growing a ponytail, donning an earring, and wanting to hang out with his son’s buddies. More M1s contribute their crazy dad stories which include a 70 year old getting a leg tattoo. A couch humping mom and dad story make Mikey wish he was brought by the stork and Woods is convinced he was conceived in a test tube. Woods’ travel question is next about whether or not he should purchase his buddy a gift. NTT is randomly themed pop songs sung by average people and a certain redhead walks out of the studio after a controversial finish! Hoyle rocks his Affliction and Ed Hardy gear. WoW asks The Kid why he hates fantasy, drinking and brawling etiquette, and chicks footing the bill. A dog lover calls in needing advice about her new boyfriend who lives alone with a cat. Touch My Body by Mariah Carey is played along with a black tank-topped Asian boy’s version. Woods can’t make fun of Taylor Swift even if he tried. Hilary gives Mikey props for his rehearsal performance with the 94/9 house band.
Bumper Music
| 1. Heaven & Hot Rods by Stone Temple Pilots |  |
| 2. Tom Sawyer by Rush | |
| 3. Outshined by Soundgarden | |
| 4. Today by Smashing Pumpkins | |
| 5. Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy by Sammy Hagar | |
| 6. Synchronicity II by The Police | |
| 7. Under My Thumb by The Rolling Stones | |
| 8. The Sound by Switchfoot | |
| 9. (I Just) Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew | |
| 10. Singing In My Sleep by Semisonic | |
| 11. Only The Lonely by The Motels | |
| 12. Take the Money and Run by Steve Miller Band | |
| 13. Hunger Strike by Temple Of The Dog | |
| 14. Dear John by Taylor Swift | |
women calling for real answersmissing phone screenerdonutsword of the day diamondlegoland ticketssnow jam ticketsforgetting keyssat idphillip rivers praisefantasy football hidden audiobe different wristbandsponytail earring midlife crisis
Mikey opened the show by promoting a forthcoming segment where women could call for candid answers about men’s perspectives (P0/P37). The crew noted the missing phone screener Will, joked about possible donut deliveries, and ribbed Jay for his ‘hammer‑dropping’ habit (P1). They ran the word‑of‑the‑day game with ‘diamond,’ giving away Legoland and Snow Jam tickets while sharing personal anecdotes like locking themselves out and a sister’s SAT mishap (P2). Phillip Rivers was repeatedly praised as a potential Hall‑of‑Fame leader and team player (P7/P8/P14). A hidden audio clip revealed Mikey’s over‑the‑top fantasy‑football monologue, causing on‑air embarrassment (P30/P65). The show highlighted the Be Different wristband campaign and featured a listener’s email about his father’s ponytail‑earring midlife crisis (P71/P73). Finally, the hosts debated wedding‑gift etiquette for Woodsy’s second marriage, discussing cost, sentiment, and whether a second gift is required (P88).
What happened, in order
Women’s Real Answers Intro
Mikey announces an upcoming segment where women can call in to ask the hosts for honest, unfiltered answers about relationships and guy perspectives.
Missing Will and Donut Banter
The crew jokes about the absent phone screener Will, speculates he’s bringing donuts, and teases Jay about his habit of ‘dropping the hammer’ on coworkers.
Word of the Day Diamond and Forgetting Keys
Mikey reveals the word‑of‑the‑day ‘diamond’ worth Legoland and Snow Jam tickets, then shares a personal story about locking himself out of his house and forgetting his sister’s SAT ID.
Phillip Rivers Man‑Crush
Woods gushes over Phillip Rivers, calling him a warrior, stud, and potential Hall‑of‑Fame quarterback after his strong performance against the Texans.
Hidden Fantasy‑Football Audio
Rebecca’s secretly recorded clip plays Mikey’s frantic, self‑talking fantasy‑football monologue, embarrassing him on air.
Be Different Wristband Campaign
Mikey describes the Be Different initiative, a black wristband pact to stay calm in traffic, relationships, and daily frustrations, already worn by the show’s staff and local athletes.
Brody’s Ponytail‑Earring Dad Email
A listener emails about his father’s midlife‑crisis ponytail and earring, prompting the hosts to joke about the dad’s new look and suggest embracing the change.
Second‑Wedding Gift Debate
The hosts discuss whether Woodsy must buy another gift for his buddy’s second marriage, weighing cost, etiquette, and the sentiment behind the gesture.
People mentioned
MikeySteve WoodsJaySiennaLauren O'BrienWillRebeccaPhillip RiversWade PhillipsJerry JonesBrodyAliciaLeslieJulia
28,121 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Mikey whispers. I try. She knows exactly what's happening in my head. We don't know where our phone screener is. We don't know where Will is. We hope he's all right. Yeah, no kidding. 570-1949 is our number. Someone will answer. Yeah, someone will answer. Maybe me. And you can also text us 949mikey at gmail.com if you'd like to. I'm Mikey and I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. And I'm wearing my FM 94.9 shirt today. And I have it open because Sienna said that guys look okay when they have their button down open with a white t-shirt on. I like the look. And so that's what I'm going for today. Good. And hopefully that works out. It does. Looks nice. 7.30. We're going to be doing something different here, by the way. We're going to be doing a thing where we are going to allow women. to call us and ask us about the real answers. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to ask me, Woods, and Jay, we just had this idea. Why don't we do this? But we're going to give the real deal. It's not going to be what your boyfriend tells you or what your husband tells you. It's going to be the real answers. So we'll do that at 730. Woods is our sports guy and oftentimes wears a white V-neck T-shirt, which he's doing today. Most of the time. Most of the time. Nine out of ten. Nine out of ten. That's what he will do. I like to keep it simple. That's right.
L.O.B., otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien, is our assistant producer. She is traveling on her way home from New Jersey today. And so she'll be back tomorrow. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25 and just had a baby. And she is the girl sitting over to my left. And that is correct. And Jay is our producer. He is 47 years of age. and does not look a day over 35. And so he is very fortunate in that way. Where is Will? Where is Will? Will is our phone screener. Will's our phone screener, but he's not here. We have no idea. Maybe he's bringing us donuts. Maybe. He's totally forgiven if he's bringing us donuts. I know. There's donuts in the works. Do you have Will's number, Jay? You know, I don't. Oh, no. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Gross. I hope he's all right, man. I do, too. I would call him live right here on the air if I had it. 100%. I would, but I don't know it. Oh, that'd be fun. Where are you, pal? Yeah. Yeah. I like yum yum donuts. Yeah. Me too. I like chocolate glazed donuts. Me too. Immediately. Me too. I like people that are on time. Oh, no. You think Jay's going to drop the hammer? Yeah. You think he is? Yeah, I do. I think he is too. Jay can drop the hammer. Jay can drop the hammer on you. Yeah. I'm scared. He's dropped it on me a couple times. It doesn't feel good. Yeah. He's got four kids. He knows how to do it. Yeah. Yeah, he's got experience.
Dropping hammers. Well, one of the things that Will does is he makes sure that I know what the prizes are for word of the day. I have it for you. What do you got? I have a four-pack of Legoland park hoppers. Those are expensive. Yes, they are. That's about $158. And I'm going to throw in a four-pack of snow jam tickets. Wow. Which gets you a lift ticket, too. That's filthy. That's a great prize. I'm going to go to that. That's cool. For sure. All right, well, sometime between now and 10, you will hear me use the word diamond. You will hear me use the word diamond. Too bad Sienna doesn't say the word of the day. I know. I'll be out the next break. I know. Oh, and you hear me do that, caller number nine wins those park hopper tickets to Legoland. And also, you get the opportunity to go to that snow jam, which is really cool. It includes lift tickets, the whole thing. Mikey Show, hello. Propsy, good morning. What's going on, dude? I got to say, there's a certain point where you just know that this day is going to be a bad day. And I just hit it. Why? I walked out my front door. I'm like, I'm forgetting something. What the heck am I forgetting? Getting ready to go to work. Locked the door behind me and realized I forgot my keys. That's not good. Didn't get in your car. Nothing. Locked himself out. Luckily, I have a spare key for my company vehicle in my wallet.
I don't have keys to get back to my house. You're locked out of your house, and you have to go to work knowing that I'm locked out of my house. Oh, no. That's what you think about all day. All day. All day. Oh, no. Do you have any relatives that have a spare key to your house? I do, but she's very difficult to get in touch with. She doesn't like to answer her cell phone. You're related to Lauren O'Brien? I didn't know that. You are? Who knew? Might as well be. Well, you leave her a message or text her. I'm just kidding a little bit. Yeah. Well, good luck to you, paparazzi. Thank you. What a turd day that's going to be for you. Oh, yeah. That's awful. You know what you think in the back of your mind? You're like, I got to break a window. I got to break a freaking window in my house. You couldn't break into your own house? No. Yeah. Can't break into mine. I have to tell you guys while he forgot talking about forgetting something. My sister went to take her SAT on Saturday. Yeah. And they make a huge deal about make sure you bring an ID. Right. My sister showed up. Last day. She procrastinates. Last day she could take her SAT. Yeah. Forgot her ID. It wasn't my fault. That means that you can't apply to UC schools. Nothing. And Avalon is like really serious about going to college and good grades. The whole deal. And she forgot her ID. Somehow. It was the last time. It was the last possible time. So she was almost like.
Guess I'm not going to college, UC school, that I want to. Because she forgot her ID. Did they let her go home and get it? No. No? She talked her way into it. And somehow. She's good. She's related to me. Yeah. Yeah. They gallop in our family. They let her. They gallop. They don't just run your car. They gallop. Yeah. No, but somehow she got to do it because, I mean, that would have sucked. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Terrible. Because you could have anyone go and take your SAT, you know, if they didn't look for an ID. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Lucky girl. Yeah, she's lucky. Girls. Yeah, must be nice. Yeah. Listen, I never took those. I never went to college. You never took the SAT? Mm-mm. Is it hard? Yes. Oh, yeah. You feel so dumb when you leave. You're just beat after a long test like that. Couldn't have been more hungover. I never took it either. Yeah. You never did either? I could not have been more hungover when I took mine. 980 I got on mine. Is that good? No. 1600's the best. I got a 980. If you don't break 1,000, it's like, come on. I got a 1080. That's really good. That's good. Better than mine. I did a lot of guessing. I guess I'm a good guesser. All I wanted was over 1,000, and I was like, never mind. There was a huge party the night before. How long does that take? It takes, like, you go in at, like, 8 in the morning, and you leave at, like...
12, 31. Yeah. It's like five, six hours. Yeah. It's the worst. Whoa. You have to bring your own pencils and it's awful. It's awful. I took it twice. I did worse the second time I took it. Do you know what I did? I would finish the section because you have to wait. Sections are timed. I would finish the section and I'd pass out on the desk. And then they'd be like, all right, next section. I'd wake up, finish, quit. Just done. Like, get C, C, C, C, C, C, guessing. Really? Everyone does the C bit. When you don't know, just do C. Just do C. Really? Yes. Oh, my gosh. Maybe you should take it. I should. I would love to. I'll do terrible. I'm sure. I wish that there was a different way to test aptitude and intelligence. There is. IQ test. I've done that. I had a high IQ, but it was, you know. You would probably do really well. My IQ was 123. That's good. 123. I hated the ones where you have to read a story and then answer questions about the story because it just takes so long and you just want to get through. Yep. My IQ is 124. Was it really? You don't know. I don't know. I've never taken one. I haven't either. He's going one loud. One loud. Yeah, that's exactly right. 5701949 is our number. Call us if you want to say hi. The Chargers squeaked out a victory. Sure did. They were able to do it. We knew it. We called it on Friday. Yeah. M1 Herald.
texted me yesterday and said, hey, I said that they were going to start doing really good because, you know, after week six, they start doing really good. Well, lo and behold, they go into Houston. Knock on wood. Let's hope. Knock on wood. They go into Houston and they did pretty good. And so that's cool. I'm glad. So glad. We needed it. Here's Phillip Rivers. Yeah, great. The guys up front were awesome. You know, the one sack early in the game, I told him it was on me. It was a quick protection and I just didn't. feel good about throwing it, and so I just kind of ate it. But they were good all night long, and they have been all year. Go ahead, Sina. How scared were you at the beginning of the game when they blocked another kick? I was like, turn it off! I texted Mike, OMG. That's all I texted him. The fifth blocked kick of the season. I was like, oh no, no, that didn't just happen. Well, the first, the kickoff. The guy goes for the over-the-shoulder catch. Right. Which is, you know, they gave up 37 yards of field position right there. So there's mistake number one. Right. Then they give up the block kick. Like two seconds later. Two seconds later, block punt. Then there was a penalty on a nice run back. I was like, dude, this guy needs to be gone. Steve Crosby? I mean, I'm sorry. How come? He's got to go. I mean, does he? He's got to go. I mean, you can't not have him go, right? You can't not. Think about it in these terms. What if I came in?
Five days in a row. Me, Steve Woods. And I was like, sorry. I mean, I'm not prepared, dude. And you're like, Woods, you got to do sports. I'm like, I don't have anything. Sorry. You'd be like, hey, bro, I got to find a new sports guy that knows what he's doing. This guy doesn't know what he's doing, obviously. Or they're not responding to him. You know what I mean? Something. But, I mean, it's awful. I got to tell you guys, too. I have a new man crush. Phillip Rivers. Oh, yeah. Dude. He's pretty great. I'm like. I'm being pulled in. I'm sucked in. You're ready to buy a 17 jersey. I may get a Boltz shirt. Dude, I watched this throw he made to McMichael in the end zone. You're glowing, Woods. There was no way he was going to fit this ball where he fit it. And he put it, the only place that it could be caught was...
this one little one little inch window and he threw it as hard as he could mcmichael goes up gets it touchdown i was like this guy is a warrior he's a stud and you hear what he says after the game uh it wasn't me man offensive line you know the guy is just love him money yeah we are so lucky i'm like You build a team around that guy and you win a Super Bowl because that guy deserves it. Four more TDs yesterday. He does deserve it. He's filthy. Yeah, he does. I want a picture of him. Remember how Drew Brees had the one with his kid? Phillip Rivers needs that. That's what I want to see. That's what I want to see. I'll tell you this, though. If you get to see any other football, the situation could not be worse for the Dallas Cowboys. One and seven Dallas Cowboys. Hey, Wade Phillips, are you there? Hello. Hi, how are you, Wade? I've been better. Yeah, why are you on the phone? Usually we have you in the studio. I need your help. You need my help. Do you have any frequent flyer miles? Maybe. I mean, I'll check into it. I'm in Green Bay. You're still in Green Bay. You played Green Bay last night. Yeah, the team left, and they wouldn't let me on the plane. So I'm here, and, you know, it's nice. It's cold.
I'm here, man. Jerry took my wallet. Where are you right now? Yeah, where are you? I'm at the Hampton Inn. Sitting in your room? Continental breakfast. That's pretty much my last meal. Yeah, I got to check out by noon, so I'm trying to find a way out. Yeah, well, maybe we'll wire you some money or something. Well, I remember you, Mike, from my San Diego days, and I didn't do too well here either. You know, the good thing about Wisconsin, though, you know they got up here that's pretty good. What? Jeez. Jeez, they do. They do have good... Good cheese. Yeah, it's good. And I don't really know what the hell I'm going to do. Yeah. My wife ain't taking my calls. My kids ain't taking my calls. And I'm here. I'm in my Hampton Inn. And Jerry took your wallet. Yeah, they took off last night. And I remember he pointed on the shoulder. He goes, hey, run and grab me that cup of coffee. And right when I did, the plane took off. Oh, no. I'm a little peeved. Yeah, you're also up a creek.
Real bad. Yeah. Real bad. I don't know what to do, man. I'm, you know. You know what? I'm at a loss. Super Bowl's not looking good, you know. Yeah, you know, 1 in 15 is looking about right right now. Can I say something? Sure. Hi, North. This is North Turner. Can I say something for a minute? Sure. You should tell the guys stop losing and start winning. That's what I did. Yeah. Yeah, I tried that. They don't really listen. They just kind of make fun of me. You know why they don't listen to you? You know why they don't listen? Why? You always have a Hardee's bag in your hand and you're chumming on a sandwich. Well, you know, Hardee's, Carl's Jr., Burger King, whatever. You know why they don't listen to you? Why? Because you have onion rings. All over your chest. I'm hungry. He has onion rings on each finger. Yes. The only ring you're going to get this year is an onion ring. That's not right. It's the only ring I've ever had. Hey, is Mikey there? Because I need like, I think the flight's like $6.54. Yeah, I'm here. $6.54. Can you put it on your credit card? Sure. And get me home to Dallas. I'll help you out. I think my wife changed a lot. Good luck with that.
She's not taking it very well. Oh, no. Neither is anybody, really. They toilet papered my house. They did. Slit the tires on my car. Poor Norv. I'm sorry, Norv. I'm Wade. I mean, Wade. Wade, I'm Norv. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, I'm Norv. He's not Norv. He's Wade. You can tell he's a guy with the onion rings all over his fingers. Good luck with that. I'm going to go steal some yogurt. All right, we'll see. So stupid. I know. This is stupid. I just envisioned him with onion rings on every finger. That's fantastic. Stranded. Hey, will you go get that cup of coffee real quick? Go, go, go, go, go, go. Throttle up, throttle up. Jerry's like, I don't know where he is. He didn't get to make the plane. M1 Chris from San Diego. Hi. Hey, what's up, man? Not too much. Hey, tell everybody what an M1 is. And one is listens to the Mikey Show exclusively. Yep. Doesn't test. Yep. And priority one on my stereo. That is correct, dude. That is correct. That's a good explanation. That's it. So far, so good. So far, so good. Awesome. All right. Well, I felt bad for changing the subject. No, it's okay. There's not really much more to talk about. Yeah, yeah. What were you calling to say?
Your testimony, I was calling to congratulate you, your testimonies on Friday. Okay. Well, thank you, man. That's nice of you. Really cool, man. I'm going through the same kind of deal. And, man, I feel your pain. I just wanted to say thank you. You got it, Chris. You guys are awesome. I love everybody on the show. Thank you. Killer. Thank you, bro. We love you. Good luck with everything. Good luck. 570-1949 is our number. If you want to call, 949-Mikey at gmail.com is our text if you want to get a hold of us by text. So the Chargers are off the schneid this week. First road win. Yeah. Yes. Was yesterday week nine? I don't even know. But if it was, they're biased. They're four and five. They're biased. Ten. They're going to get healthy. And look what they're doing with. And I'm not going to go so far as to call the guy scrubs because they're NFL players. But I mean, there's a lot of scrap. A lot of scrap heap guys that are there. They're making it work with, which is just awesome. Two touchdowns yesterday from Sergio means downtown. Yeah. As you're a two, two.
Ajiratutu. Ajiratutu is his last name. That's fun to say. Randy McMichael, just backup for Antonio Gates. Yep. Two more, you know. Incredible. Rivers was 17-23 for 295. My goodness. Eight different receivers. I'm like, oh, I love this man. I love him. Do you know Philip Rivers, I know this is, it's way early. I know it is. MVP. No, more than that. I think that there's more than that. What? I know it's early. If he keeps doing it. If he keeps doing this. He keeps doing it, yeah. I don't think there's any question. Phillip Rivers may be a Hall of Fame quarterback. I mean, that's the kind of things he's doing. You know, the thing I really liked about him, too, is you watched, because they botched an extra point last week, and they made one today, or yesterday. He's halfway on the field, giving guys five, patting them on the butt, you know, slapping them on the back.
He's a team player. He's a team player. And he's not the guy, the malcontent that goes and sits in the corner when things don't go his way. We listen to his audio every single week, even after loss. He's like, man, we've got to keep grinding. We've got to keep grinding. He's a good, good dude. All the way in. Couldn't be more in on somebody. Very encouraging to everyone, it seems. Maybe I make out with him. No. You love the guy. I love him, dude. Fill up. 570-1949 is the number. Hey, if you want to talk about the Chargers, you can call us for sure. Beer Week in San Diego. This was a new thing, relatively. This is the second year they've done Beer Week. It's 10 days, and there's over 3,000 people. Oh, over 3,000 people went to Point Loma's Liberty Station on Friday, which is when it kicked off, and Mayor Jerry Sanders was there tapping the keg. Really? That's what he did. Yes, he tapped a keg, the first one. And I guess, I mean, there's just a ton of people that showed up. Yeah. And there's more than... 400 beer-related events, and it's just becoming this huge deal. They're saying it may be bigger than Comic-Con here pretty soon. For real? Yeah. I don't see anything bigger than that. Well, the first day, it's only the second year, and more than 3,000 people showed up for the opening of it. They've got to move it then. Liberty Station's not big enough. They're going to have to move it somewhere. We'll see. People are in on it, and Jerry Sanders is stoked because it's bringing people to San Diego because everyone wants to try these beers. Right. So it's helping us. I wonder how you get...
how you handle people not drunk driving and stuff. How do you handle it? By the way, I'm all for it. I'm all for Beer Week, and I think it sounds cool, and I think it's fun. I wonder how they deal with it. Is it like a tasting? I've gone to wine tasting before. I couldn't drive after a wine tasting. They should do it someplace close to a trolley or something. We did a beer, a microbrewer fest, and people just had to bring a designated driver. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, you had no proof of it, but if they did bring a designated driver, they got a wristband, they got to eat for free. That's pretty rough. Well, that's great. That's great. There's ways to make sure everyone's safe, you know. Cabot. Cabot, yeah. Let's see. M1 Danielle from Chula Vista, are you there? Yes, I'm here. What's up? Hey, I just wanted to share with you that I'm a teacher from Mater Dei Catholic, and he came to speak to us. Who did? I'm sorry, Philip Rivers came to speak to us. Uh-huh. On chastity. Yeah. And he gave this great speech, and he was such a nice guy. And so I totally understand why Woodsy would be. In love with him? Yeah. Yeah, he signed a jersey for Jakey, which was really nice. Really nice. I think he's a nice guy. Let's see. Oh, another. This is like the third time sewage is spilled in Carlsbad? Yes, at the Batikidos Lagoon. This is the third time. So there's sewage. I knew you were going to go.
Disgusting. Workers at the Meadowlark Water reclamation facility, it's in San Marcos, they noticed a six-inch sewage pipe had broken on Saturday around 11.20 p.m. and sewage was just spilling into the creek. Gross, gross, gross. Isn't that disgusting? It's filthy. I've been wakeboarding in there. Perfect. So this is the third time. I mean, there's quite a significant amount of sewage that's gone into that beach. A lot of brown trout. Oh, goodness. So, yeah, if you're going to be at the Batikitos Lagoon anytime soon, be careful. Maybe don't put your head under the water. Oh, maybe don't swallow water accidentally. Maybe wear a hazmat suit. Wake morning. Maybe be... I love that place. Yeah. I do, too. It's rad. So rad. It's full of doo-doo. It's got caca in there. Caca. A lot of it. A lot of it. Yes. The Detroit Lions... Detroit! Detroit! Lost their kicker yesterday in the game. Wait till I tell you who they... put out there to kick, who is actually listed as their backup kicker. He weighs over 300 pounds. I'll just tell you that. Oh, wow. And we have audio. Shut up. We have audio. We'll do it coming up. Woodsy's going to tell you who ended up being the backup kicker for the Lions yesterday. 300 pounder. I'll tell you who it is in just a minute in Woods on Sports. 7.30 we're going to do, I don't even know what we'll call it.
Because we just came up with this idea where we were like, just do a thing where we let chicks call us and ask us questions. Like the real deal. The straight dope. The straight stuff. Like, you know, stuff that if they ask their boyfriend, their boyfriend's going to lie to them. I have one that I'm going to ask you guys. Oh, good. Can't wait. So we'll open it up to you. Word of the day today is Diamond. It's worth a four-pack of tickets to Snow Jam and a four-pack of tickets to Legoland. It's really good. Let's see. Woodsy's anniversary was last week, right? Yeah, my anniversary and my little brother's anniversary. So this weekend I tried to be real sweet to the missus. And, you know, just was real sweet. What'd you do? Just very loving. Very loving. Did you guys go to dinner? Cuddling. You did? We went to L.A. Friday night. You did? And came back Saturday. We laid around. Just real sweet. That's nice. Did you do anything special for her? Yeah, rubbed her feet, you know.
You did? Yeah, it was so sweet. You don't usually do that, right? Yeah, whatever. Was it just to be nice? Yeah. You rubbed her feet. Yeah, scratched her back. Ooh. Sweetly. It's nice. Yeah, it was nice. I like to hear stories of you giving to Jamie instead of the other way around. Right. That's very nice. Why are you so uncomfortable? I'm not. You are being really uncomfortable right now. Yeah, you're being uncomfortable right now. I don't know what you're talking about. Did you use lotions when you rubbed your feet? No, I didn't use lotions. Do you have your technique down and everything? I don't be tickling or nothing. I don't be tickling. Did you put oils on her feet? No. Why not? Mikey, don't act like you don't know. Yeah, I don't. You know how he rubbed feet. Does he? What did you do? Nothing. Going between the toes? Yeah, I went between the toes. Wow. Pervert. That seems like, really, that's love. It is love. It is love. It's a real sweet song for you guys. Just for your anniversary. Thank you very much. I don't care about you guys. Thank you. This is called Tuts My Butter. Uh-oh. Butter. Are you singing this to JB? Yeah. This is in the background. Candles. Yes. And this on the stereo.
Did it just say there's a camel up the hill? Sounded like it. Sounded like it. But the translation sometimes is so. I'm envisioning you and Jamie really to this song now. Making out. I almost would rather say to him, if I were the producer, I might have said... Cut. I might have said cut, but I also might have said... You know what? Just just do it in your in your natural language instead of trying because I don't know that this is working, you know, and he'd be like, no, no, no. I do it. No, no, no. Just just
I love it. Put me on the floor. Have you guys noticed my hair, by the way? I look like Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. It's going to go through a phase, Sienna. I'm bald, but I'm going to try to grow my hair out and see what happens. I'm doing it because it's been a while, and I've heard that if you shave, the hair grows back thicker. What if he has this big afro? I'm already seeing spots. There's some spots, yes. It's growing in pretty quickly. All right, we're going to take a picture. We're going to take a daily picture every single day of how Mike's hair looks until it's fully grown out. Oh, boy. It's not good. And Woods, what are you doing? I'll shave my head. Woods will be shaving his head bald later on. Yeah, I'm going to. The missus was not too pleased about that. It's going to be hilarious. Yeah, what did she say? She said, absolutely not. Bet you're going to. And I said, get it. Nobody tells the kid what to do. M1 Chris from San Diego. Hey, what's up, Mikey? What's up? I was just on the air. Remember me? Yeah, I still do remember. It was like 20 minutes ago. Yeah, it's like 10, 15 minutes. I hate changing the subject, but I'm trying to figure out what to do in my little production. I'm trying to figure out what would you do if you were in my situation. We don't have a phone screener right now.
Our phone screener is on the way. We actually got Will. We got a hold of Will. And Will is on his way in. And will be screening phone calls for us in a moment. Right now, Jay Bird is, you know, taking over the duties. And he's got a lot on his plate. Chris? Yeah? Go to MikeyShow.com and write me an email. I can't do that right now. No, no, no. When you get to work, bro. I know, but I'll... I'm doing lines of cocaine as I'm driving. It's crazy. Through what? Well, you know, like, the weather right now? Yeah. It's all, like, misty and overcast, whatnot. Yeah. And, like, I don't know what to do right now, man. I've been doing lines all night. I've been taking ecstasy. Yeah, well, first thing you do is stop. Pull over. Pull over. I just did that. Yeah, yeah. And let's see. What was a good thing for you to do? Call a cab? Yeah, call a cab. Call a cab, go home, dude. Call a cab and go home. Flush it, call a cab, go home. Yeah. Don't even flush it, just throw it away. Throw it away. Dump it down a drain. And call a cab and go home. Oh, boy. And then, when you're done, you can write me an email and I'll try to give you some advice of where you can go. And if you go to my website, if you go to mikeyshow.com, you go to the top of the page, it says help. There's some resources there for you, bro.
in terms of getting help with your addiction. Okay? Be careful, man. Good luck, dude, yeah. Be careful and good luck. Thank you. All right, man. That's sad. Yeah. Poor guy. I've been there. I've been there. I wouldn't have thought of the cab bit. That was a good call. Yeah, jump in a cab, dude. Don't drive. Good call. It's nasty weather. It won't hurt anybody else. Yeah, there's some spots on my head, but it'll grow in. I think it will fill in. It just needs to, you know, it needs time. There's a stripe. Like right down the middle, like a stripe. Maybe that'll be the part. Nice little butt cut. Imagine, Mike, you parted right down the middle. Yeah, like Bobby Brown. Like Mike Tyson. That's the reason that there's a part that goes right down the middle. The stripe that goes down the middle, that's going to be a part once it fills in appropriately. Look it, Jay's going to take a picture of it. It's a stripe. I'm looking at it. Simon Cowell has the part. Yeah.
He does have a butt cut, doesn't he? He does. Oh, he's taking a pic. Mike is looking very serious in this picture. Don't smile, Mike. Why can't guys smile in a picture? No one understands me except for Sienna. Really? She supports my hair growth. I do. I do not. You know, we want to know what it looks like. I've seen it. I've seen it. I know what it looks like. Yeah, it was years ago. Rebecca has seen it. She knows what it looks like. I know. I'm sorry, Rebecca, but maybe it will look great. You know Kid Rock was... Making some comments about Steven Tyler because Steven Tyler's going to be a judge on American Idol. Saying he's ruining his career and stuff like that. Yeah, and that he's, you know, it's basically putting him down for being on American Idol. Can't really blame him. Yeah, I get it. Here's what Steven Tyler said. Kid Rock had some comments to EW about you joining the show. Did you hear about those comments and do you have a response? He's just jealous. Is Kid Rock a singer? He's just jealous. And he's working his new record, so God bless him. I never have understood the bit, which is an age-old parents thing. They're just jealous. I've never understood that. I say it all the time. The logic. Yeah, I don't understand the logic because many times when people say nasty stuff, they don't want to be you. Right. They're not jealous. They're not jealous. They're jerks, maybe, but they're not jealous. Well, you know,
For Kid Rock, guaranteed, that guy grew up on Aerosmith. I mean, you know he was blasting Aerosmith in his Camaro, jamming toys in the attic and Dream On and all that stuff. And to see one of his heroes on American Idol is probably pretty tough for him. Yeah, and I don't think that he wants to be a judge on American Idol. Exactly. I don't think Kid Rock does. No. I think he does. You do? Yes. Oh, my gosh. I do? Oh, my gosh. It's turned into D-level. I see what you're talking about, but they're trying to revamp it. And Steven Tyler, he's just like, you know, what am I doing? I might as well do it. It's going to be great. He's getting paid a ton of money. Yeah, but he's older now. I'm trying to think what I would do if I was in charge of replacing the judges. Because what they did was they got Steven Tyler and they got... Jennifer Lopez. Yeah, no, I'm totally on the same page with you guys. And I agree, American Idol's going downhill. But maybe Steven Tyler's like, you know what? I can maybe help these musicians that are trying to be known. And maybe I could give them some good advice. I mean, I don't know. Simon Cowell really did discover a lot of people and help them. So I'm trying to see the rationality. What would you do? Like, who would you throw in there that you think would make people watch it? Howard Stern would have been a great choice. Absolutely.
That would have been, you know, people would have been interested in seeing what he would have to say. Absolutely. You know, but I don't know. I don't know what they're. I have no interest. I don't either. Madonna would have been good. Yeah. Yeah. But doesn't that doesn't that take away something from what she's done in her musical career? But why does it have to? But it does. I don't know why, but it does. Yeah. You know, you know, I also have the feeling that. stuff that Madonna does, I don't really question it. If she does it, now it's cool. It's probably cool. Yeah. But you know, everyone has that one thing that they're a little bit maybe embarrassed about. Maybe Steven Tyler loves American Idol. Could be. You know, like everyone, even all heroes have something that they wouldn't be proud of necessarily. Woods came out last week. I did. He did. Not, you know, he's a straight man. Metaphorically, I came out. Metaphorically, he came out. When it comes to music. Yeah. He admitted to the world, listen, I've pretended to think that a lot of stuff is cool that I don't necessarily think is cool, and now I'm going to show you who I really am through the music that I pick that we come in and out of commercials with. Yeah. Put on what I like. First show of age. What do you like? Yeah, it really is the first show of age. It's called giving up. I did it a long time ago, Woods. Like, I'll still go to Coachella and stuff.
But I'll go to see the Kings of Leon, you know, or whoever plays. And you won't pretend that you're doing it. I won't pretend that I'm there to see LCD sound system. Ooh, great band. You know? Yeah, see? Jay likes all those bands. Yeah. Does he? Does he really? Check my iPod. Yeah, I've got it on my iPod, too. Doesn't mean I listen to it. Yeah, but look, I don't have the Carpenters on mine, either. I'm about to do a cleanup. I do. I love Carpenters. I do, too. You can't beat Karen Carpenter's voice. Yeah, back in the, what, 70s? Dynamite. It's still nice. It's still good. Yeah. 5701-949 is our number. All right. Well, I got to know. There are so many things that are happening in the world of sports. Woods is going to fill us in. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I want to talk about the NFL. I want to get to some football. Let's do it. Let's start right here at home. We talked a little bit about it in the open. If you didn't hear, the Chargers had a great road win yesterday, 29-23. Yeah, baby. Over those Houston Texans, and my new boyfriend, Phillip Rivers, was 17 of 23 for 295, four touchdowns, and doing it with spare parts. And, you know, he gives all the credit to his team. Cut one. Yeah, great. The guys up front were awesome. You know, the one sack early in the game, I told him it was on me. It was a quick protection, and I just didn't feel good about throwing it, and so I just kind of, you know, ate it. But they were good all night long, and they have been all year.
That's right. Really? Really? Seven. I know. I am seven. And Brett Favre may have saved his head coach, Brad Childress, his job for at least another week. 27-24 over the Cardinals. He threw two touchdowns also. Two picks. Guy threw for 446 yards yesterday. Oh, my. That's ridiculous. Holy cow. The Saints rebounded 34-3 over the Panthers, who are just terrible. Poor Jimmy Clawson. The Bears, 22-19 over the Bills. The Falcons, 27-24. over the Buccaneers. The Browns shocked the world and beat the Patriots. And beat them soundly. Beat them by 20 points, man. Peyton Hillis yesterday, 29 rushes for 184 yards and two touchdowns. Guy was filthy yesterday. The Ravens, 26-10 over the Dolphins. Chad Henney threw three interceptions. Not a good day. Mark Sanchez and the Jets, 23-20 over the Lions. Now, in this game, they lost their kicker. The Detroit Lions lost their kicker, Jason Hansen.
They decided they needed to kick an extra point. Who do you go to? Backup punter? No. The punter? No. Backup quarterback? No. We're going to go to Indomitian Sue, our rookie, defensive lineman, 310 pounds. Mammoth. Here's what happened. Cut to. Hanson hurts. Sue attempting the upright. They bring the rookie in. Sue. Hanson hurt. I wonder if he's going to kick off. Here's Ndamukong Su. Now, the kick is actually pretty good, except he just smooth motion, but he pushes it. Well, yeah, he's 310 pounds. Defensive lineman. Defensive lineman. But he's Hanson. This is...
They showed the kicker throwing his helmet down. He couldn't do it, so they put this guy in there. Yeah, they showed Jason Hansen practicing and trying to kick. He can't. I can't believe he couldn't have gone in and kicked an extra point. Maybe check your sack a little bit, go in there and kick the extra point. You're fine. You're a kicker. You're fine. Yeah, I agree. I mean, unless something's dangling, you know what I mean? Get in there. Because they showed him to a practice kick, and he kicked it into the net, and it looked okay, but it hurt him a little bit. Maybe check it up, pal. I mean, come on. Freaking defensive lineman goes there and kicks it. They lost the game, too. It was a key, key extra point. They lost 23-20. The Giants just rolled Pete Carroll and the Seahawks 41-7. The Eagles and the dog-killing Mike Vick, 26-24, over Peyton Manning and the Colts. The Raiders. are at five and four. I'm upset. They beat the Chiefs 23-20, man. What's up with them? Darren McFadden, dude. He's looking like an NFL running back. Doing good. Jason Campbell, 229, a touchdown. I have audio later of me because my wife taped me. She says I act like an idiot. During the football games? Yeah. She says I act like an idiot. I can't wait to hear it. She taped you? Hidden audio.
Yes, Rebecca! Rebecca's the best. She sent it to Jay, and she says I act like an idiot when I'm watching football because of fantasy football. You are a strange individual. Fantasy will get me, too. I've given up a long time ago on my fantasy team, but Mike's still in the hunt. I have no recollection of all the different stuff. Oh, my gosh. Get ready. Buckle in. What time would you like to play this audio? I don't know when. Right now. Can we? Or when should we? Whenever you want. We can play it. We can do it whenever? Yeah, 8.30, 7.30. Let me know. Let's do it at 7.30. Okay. 7.30. We'll hear Mike. It's so embarrassing. Are you alone? Are you with her? I'm alone. Oh, nice. Good for you. I'm alone. Alone and crazy. I love it. Just like me. 730, yes. Well, did anybody happen to see any of the Sunday night game last night? Uh-uh. Oh, my gosh. The Packers and the Cowboys. The Packers demolished the Dallas Cowboys 45-7. 45-7. Oh, man. Aaron Rodgers last night, 27-34 for 289 and three touchdowns. Oh. The Cowboys looked – I've never seen anything like it. Listen to their owner, Jerry Jones, and how flabbergasted he is.
He's basically saying heads are going to roll today. Really? Heads are going to roll. He said there's a lot of bad stuff about to go down in Dallas. I wonder if Wade will make it through the season. No way. I don't think there's any chance. He has said... That, yeah, he's our coach. He's our coach. I think at this point after last night, I don't know that he makes it through the week. Oh, wow. Seriously, it was that bad. And they kept showing Jerry Jones. He was so mad. Being from Dallas, I kind of grew up watching that relationship and watching Jerry Jones. He thought they were going to play in the Super Bowl this year. He said, we're going to be in the Super Bowl in our home stadium. What's the matter with them? One in seven. It's awful. And then, finally, Denny Hamlin took the checkered flag at the Texas Motor Speedway. Also took the Sprint Cup lead from Jimmy Johnson yesterday. So, great. NASCAR. There's Denny talking about the win. What a run. I just can't say enough for this whole FedEx team. I told everyone I'd wait until 3 to go to go, and I felt like that was aggressive as I've been on restarts all year. Absolutely. That is the woods on sports. Thank you, sir. You bet.
5701-949 is the number. Louis Black. I love Louis Black. Comedian. Comedian. And his deal is rants. He rants. He ranted about the fact that there is a bed bug epidemic in our country. It is true. Oh, so disgusting. We have bed bugs. And here's what he said. How are you, buddy? What's bothering you? What's up? What's bothering me? Um... Oh! bed bugs calm down it's okay wake up america we we act like we're the greatest country on earth we've got bed bugs we're not living in the fourth century this isn't a tenement bed bugs and there's an infestation Just made Woods itch. Yeah. Just made him start itching.
We can't figure out how to get rid of bed bugs. Why don't the Republicans and the Democrats and the Tea Party sit down and start there? Start with a simple problem. And then maybe we can get to help. Is he on Jimmy Fallon? Yeah. Can I just tell you that whenever you get that worked up and you're that upset, what you need in your life is you need the soothing sounds of Touch My Butter. It's touch my body, but when he says butter. Sorry? No, no, no. I heard you. I just said, I'm sorry. Oh, my. It's lovely. It's gorgeous. It's absolutely gorgeous. Oh, man.
Do you know that there was a Chilean miner that was running down in that mine shaft to practice for the New York City Marathon and just ran in it? He ran six miles a day underground tunnels. Could you imagine running like that? It makes me feel like such a fatso. Oh, I know. He ran six miles a day underground. Yes, for 69 days, his nickname was The Runner. I sit in bed eating Nabisco products, watching television, and that guy was in a mine shaft running six miles a day. Trapped in a mine shaft. Trapped in a mine shaft running. I may be like, I can't breathe. I'm sure the other guys are like, really? With the six miles again? Really? You're going to do this bit again? Sit down, dude. Come on. Well, his name is Edison Pena, and he just crossed the finish line in New York during the marathon yesterday afternoon. 26.2 mile marathon. Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. This is all over the internet today. You're going to see this all over the news, all over the internet today. I guess Michael Jackson's website released a new Michael Jackson song last night. We have it.
The weird thing is, his sister, in another clip that I'm going to play, she doesn't believe that it's him. So you can listen to it and decide, but she don't think it's him. Plus, there's another new song out today of his that, like, his mom just decided that she was going to release. I'll play a little bit of it for you. I can't pay the whole thing because it's 12 minutes long. Oh, wow. I'm sure Michael Jackson's like... Thanks mom. Is it called touch my brother? It's not called touch my brother. That's it Did he say asbestos flagon? Don't know what that is, but hey, to each their own. You know, we all have different tastes. Today's word of the day has not been used yet. The word is diamond. And when you hear me work that into a sentence, call a nine.
Get a four-pack of tickets to Snow Jam and four-pack of tickets to Legoland, and it'll be the park hopper deal. So you can go from Legoland to the aquarium to the water park, the whole deal. Pretty cool. At 7.30, I will... Well, first of all, 7.30, a couple things. We're going to let girls call in and ask me, Woods, and Jay... Questions you'd like to ask to a guy and want the real answers on, this is not the stuff that your boyfriends or your husbands will tell you. And you can ask the real thing if you want to know a dude's perspective. The reason is, you know, we target on this show men between the ages of 18 and 34 years old. And we were just saying, I want to hear that. I would want to hear that. I would want to hear Chick's call. And I want to hear what they want to know. Yes. There's something my husband tells me all the time. And I want to know if there's something behind that. You can tell us at 730 and we will give you the real answer. At least what we think. The skinny. We'll give you the skinny on what we think about it. From a couple fat guys. Stop. Yeah, that's what we should call it. Questions from a couple fat guys and one skinny guy. And one skinny guy. And Jay. And Jay.
5701949 is our number when we do that. And then also at 730. My wife has always said that she thinks that I behave kind of like an idiot when I watch football on the weekends because of fantasy football. You love you some fantasy football. I enjoy it, yeah. I enjoy it. Well, do I? Yeah, I mean, yes, I do. You love it. You love it. You live for it. Dude, this guy's preparation for fantasy football is ridiculous. It is three minutes of gold audio. I can't wait. She walked into the room and put a thing down. I didn't know it. I haven't heard this yet. Love this. I'm all the way in. Yeah, Woods was a little upset that he didn't know about it, that Sienna knew about it and Jay knew about it. He just gets left out real good. Jay and I do the scheduling. That's right. I understand. I'll remember it. So Michael Jackson has a, I guess he's got like an official website. They released some new song, okay? And it's a Michael Jackson song. It's called Breaking News. Oh, wow. That's the name of the song. Before I play it for you, though, listen to what LaToya had to say about this song. What do you think of the whole thing? Do you think that's your brother's song? They're saying it's not his. You know what? I listened to it. Thank you very much. It doesn't sound like him. It doesn't sound like him? No, it doesn't.
Okay. Thank you. It's ironic because she sounds like him. Yeah. She does. Could be any of them. I listen to it and it doesn't sound like him. Hee hee hee. Hee hee hee. So here's the song. You decide. Is this Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson. Has this story unfolded? If Jackson just wished. Unauthorized biography. The paparazzi would not leave him alone. All you have to do is throw in a couple of... What? That don't sound like Michael Jackson. No, that is not Michael Jackson. It didn't sound like at the beginning. The last few words kind of did. It sounds like somebody that would be in Vegas performing at the Rio doing the Michael Jackson show. Yeah, that is not Michael Jackson. I don't know. You think it sounds like him? That did. That kind of did.
You know why I don't think it's Michael Jackson? Because he's dead? Well, that's one reason. You see, obviously this is supposed to be a song that he recorded before his death. It is? Well, yes. Yes. However, you know, the reason I don't think it's Michael Jackson is because it sucks. And he actually was pretty good. And had some talent. Yeah, in 1979, he was dynamite. No, he was actually... 84, he was really strong. Yeah, he was good then, too. My wife agrees with you. She thinks that after Thriller, all those other albums with black and white and all that stuff, she thought it all stunk. That was terrible. I thought... You know what? I always thought he had talent. I'm not saying he didn't have talent, but the quality of what he put out was like a plane going down. Yeah, it wasn't as good as Thriller. No. It's hard to compete with that, though. Yeah, it's hard. It's the biggest album of all time. Black and White was terrible. Man in the Mirror, terrible. I didn't think that was terrible. Me either. That's what my wife said. What Woods said, she said the same words. And I go, I like Man in the Mirror. Really? I thought that was okay. This sucks. That's terrible. This sounds like a song they would give Britney Spears. Sounds like NSYNC. Yeah. Come on.
That's not him. The thing about Michael Jackson is I couldn't see him singing like, I'm Michael Jackson. He doesn't do the third person bit. No. He doesn't. I always get confused with that too. I just did it. Is it first or third? I don't know. Who knows? Anyway. First person? English major? What's up? What's up? So apparently his mother released an unauthorized Michael Jackson song. Weird. Yeah, I know. Weird. They just want to make the dough. Yep. It's 12 minutes long. Dazed and confused. 12 minutes long. Yeah, it's dazed and confused. Fast forward. That's Michael Jackson. That's Michael, yeah. 12 minutes of this? How exhausted would you be after performing and singing for 12 minutes? Imagine messing it up in studio after 11 minutes. Review. Cut. Do I just take it from the top? Yeah, all the way from the top. You're going to run that back. No, I'm tired. Yeah, we're going to run that back. Can I take a break? Yeah, can I go pee-pee? No, we're going to run that back. I have to go pee-pee. No, this is costing a lot of money. I have to go caca. Okay, then you can go caca. Ew. You know, there's a reason sometimes people don't release stuff. This is a turd. Yeah. There's going to be, can you imagine what all...
that family's going to put out of his. I mean, we're going to remaster everything. They're going to, you know, have hidden tracks. They're going to have all kinds of stuff. Try to make more dough. Why don't you just leave him alone? Let that creep rest in peace. Oh, wow. Wow. That's a strong statement. Is it? Yes. Was it really? I guess, you know, because. Yeah, let's have some slumber parties. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm the weird one. 570-1949. Mikey, I've been married for five years. I love my husband very much, but I can't seem to get past something that happened the other night while we were in the middle of making love. Whoa. What's your body? He called me by another name. Oh, you're dead, man. Was it hun or? No. Needless to say, that ended the lovemaking for that night. And for every other night. Yeah. He's apologized over and over for doing it. He seems to be sincere. But I still can't get it out of my head. I don't think he's having an affair, but one never knows. Am I being too sensitive? What can I do to get over this? Well, I certainly think that anybody would be upset about that. That doesn't matter who you are. Of course you're going to be upset. You're having sex with your wife and she calls you by a different name. Of course you're going to be upset. Right now going through her mind is, who's Susie? Does he work with Susie? Do you date a Susie? Is it someone on TV?
Absolutely. The other thing that I think that is strange about it, though, is the whole saying of the name. That's super weird. To each their own. So weird. I just threw up my mouth. Yes, it sounds so 1950s cheesy. Oh, Edgar. Like, why say the name at all? Why? I don't understand why. Edgar Darling. That's so creepy. Creepy. It's creepy. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. If someone does this, please call in. Yes, please. And explain to us why say the name. Why say the name? I guarantee people do it. They know who they are. 5701949. And don't be ashamed. I'm crawling out of my skin. I'm crawling out of my skin thinking about that. I can't. I don't think, I don't necessarily think that you have to jump to somebody is cheating, but you certainly. I think that you have, that's a conversation. I don't think you pretend that. Yeah, that's a conversation. I can pretty much guarantee that they'll be fine. She'll forgive him. But for the rest of their marriage, that guy's going to have to hear, oh, really? How's Susie? Yeah. Oh, really? What does Susie think about that? She's going to be sniffing around cell phone bills. She's going to be, you know. This is what it's going to be like. They'll be going out one night and he'll go, what do you want to get?
And she'll go, I don't know. Why don't we ask Susie what she wants to do? Yes, exactly. He's going to have to deal with that forever. Yeah, it's probably not even worth it for him. That's his punishment. Anymore. Oh, I would be so mad. Sienna would flip out. I would. Oh, he'd be dead. What do you think, Sienna and Woods? I'll ask you guys both. Do you think that it's worse for a husband to do that to her wife or a wife to do that to a husband? Because guys are so like, oh, man. If a wife does it. I think it's if a husband does it. Really? Yeah. I think it's the other. Either way, maybe it's 50-50. I think in my case, I'd be more willing to be like, really? Whatever. And like, you know, Jamie's favorite celebrity is Eddie Cibrian. All right? The guy that sees Leanne Rimes' boyfriend now or their husband, whatever. Good looking guy. Yeah, sharp guy. And so if Jamie said Eddie when we were doing that, I'd laugh. I'd be like, really? No, no, no, no. I would. But what if it was? Oh, I would. I'd be like, ah! Eddie Sirian, really? What if she said Fred and that was a guy that she worked with? Then I'd be pissed. Yeah, that's, I mean, it's funny if it's a celebrity. Yeah, if it was a celebrity, I'd laugh. But if it's someone that maybe she used to date or someone that she works with or a guy friend, yeah, you'd be furious. And dude, if she said Eddie...
You're not instantly going to be like, unless she said, oh, Eddie Cibrian. No, I would know. I would know because that's her bit. I would die laughing. But it's not like she's ever going to be with him, you know? Well, right. For the record, I would not die laughing. I would die laughing. If my wife said anything other than my name. I one time told a friend as I was hanging up the phone, I loved him on accident. I meant to say goodbye, but I was looking at Kim. And I went, love you. Oh, damn. Yeah. When you're looking at somebody. Yeah. It can happen. Let's see. M1, Jennifer from San Marcos. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What were you calling to say? I was wondering how long they've been married. Did she mention that? Yeah, it's five years. It says five years. Five years. That's like a way long time to be saying someone else's name. Yeah, I think so. I'm so mad. If it was my husband, I've been with him for two years, and I would lose it. I don't think I'd be sleeping with him for a very long time. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think that you're probably right, and I think that would happen in anybody's relationship, and I think it's really strange. Maybe you don't shout people's names out. She's so weird. It's just weird anyway. Oh, darling. I would be wondering, who is this person? And I would be doing the same thing, and why isn't she asking him? Who is this girl? Well, I'm sure she is. I'm sure she did. She didn't say much in the letter. I don't know. If it was me, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably go to my parents' house for a couple weeks.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's a strong reaction. I mean, every time from then on. That's another woman's name when you're having an intimate relationship with your husband. That was an overreaction. Well, I think it was a strong reaction, that's for sure. Jennifer, have you ever said your husband's name during it? Well, of course. You do? See, we, now, maybe it's us here in the studio, me, Woods, and Sienna. We think that's unusual. To say your wife's, to say your partner's name. To shout it out? Yeah, but, you know, I mean, listen, everybody does their thing the way they do their thing. Not always, but, you know, I'm sorry, I gotta say my husband's pretty good, so. Oh, wow. There's a reason he's your husband. Yeah. Wow. I think I hear a kid in the background, too. Kid's like, really, mom? Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me. Oh, Bill. Oh, Cedric. Oh, Frederick. Frederick, darling. You're wonderful. There you go. Would you guys...
I have a hard time believing you wouldn't like that, though. I would not. For a guy, I'd be like, yeah. I don't. I would not. Really? I would snicker. I like a lot of, hey, oh, baby, and that kind of stuff. Oh, thanks, Jay. He says he does? He does. I like it, yeah. The nicknames are better. He is weird. Because it's like, when do you even call your husband or wife by their first name? Never. Oh, Todd. No, never. Never. You'd have to do it different than that, a little bit of a moan in your voice. No, I know. I don't really need to demonstrate that. Oh, Todd. You're creeping me out. I didn't do anything. Stop, because it's creeping me out. Thank you. 5701949. How about them Chargers? M1 Mike from El Cajon. Yes. You were called by the wrong name? Oh, no. Well, I called by the wrong name, but an argument starts. It's not wild lovemaking, you know, which is actually a good thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happened to me once before, too. In an argument? Yeah.
that if you're going to be called by a name, it should be in that situation. Yeah. In the love-making situation. For sure. Especially after five years of being married, you know, it seems like, you know, if the person's breaking up or, you know, something like that, it seems like that you kind of understand it, but after a five-year period, that's a little rough. Hey, Mike, isn't it possible that the guy's not having an affair and he's not even thinking about some other girl, but... Just random synopses are firing off in his brain and he said something weird. Something's bringing that up. You don't want any girl's name to be anywhere near your scenario during a time like that. Don't think about anything but me right now. There's a great line from a movie, Bull Durham, if you've ever seen it. It's Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins and they're in the midst of lovemaking. And she calls him Crash, the backup catcher, Crash Davis. And he goes, you just called me Crash. And she goes, honey, would you rather be... Would you rather me be making love to him using your name or making love to you using his? And he's like, yeah, that's a good point. It's back to business. Oh, my God. My answer would be, I'd rather you not use his name. Yeah. I'd rather you not say that. Oh, that would hurt. How about you not use his name? M1Wubby from Bird Rock is on the line. Hi, Wub. Good morning, guys. Wow. Good morning. Who doesn't drop the name Doring? Weird. I mean, it's awkward. So it's weird. Weird, weird, weird, weird.
It's your it's it's going down real good. You're handling business correctly, and then all of a sudden you do right there, right? Did you say woodsy too? Did she just say woodsy? I ripped my headphones off. No, she didn't. You say woodsy? I'm using that as an example. You dropped the name. Woodsy. Oh, Charles. You dropped the name in there. You think Wheezy on the Jeffersons ever went, Oh, George! No! It's just weird. It's not weird. Listen, what happens between a man and a wife is their deal. There's a lot of people I'm sure that do. Everyone tweets to their own, you know? Husband and wives usually call each other by nicknames anyway.
Not during that. I think so, but hey, to each their own, Whoopi. If you're handling it correctly, sometimes there are different motions for different things. To your defense, I do not handle it correctly. So to your defense, I'll just say that. Thank you, Whoopi. Thank you. I think you've creeped us out just... Fine. Whoopi, with the demonstration. With the demonstration. I had to rip my headphones off and cover my ears. We all shot back in our chair. It's like your mom saying something really appropriate. I know. Your dad was wonderful last night. I liked it, Whoopi. Thank you. Oh, wow. I'm friends with Whoopi. I didn't want to know that. I know. She's like, oh, yeah, you do, sugar. Yes, you do, boy. Oh, my gosh. What's he? That's what he's had. Oh, what's he? All right, so we'll do ask the boys or ask the guys, ask the dudes, whatever. We'll do that next. And I'll also play you the hidden audio that my wife taped of me while I was watching football. Oh, Miguel. She thinks I'm a fantasy football. Oh, Miguel. Really? Oh, Miguel. Some days are diamond, some days are stone. That's the way it goes.
All right. We're going to do a segment. Ask the guys. It's the real answers, though. Okay? So call us right now. Ladies only. 570-1949. You want to know real answers. Not the stuff that your boyfriend tells you because he doesn't want to, you know, rock the boat. Yeah. 570-1949. You want to know? We'll give you the real dish. Okay. Plus, I'm going to play you this stuff. Obama last night, right? So he's on 60 Minutes. Guy really makes the rounds, doesn't he? Yes. He goes on all kinds of stuff. I'm also going to play that hidden audio of me watching football and my wife tape me. Not a big deal. Love, Rebecca. Great work. Yeah, great work. So as you know, Obama goes on every show. The only one he hadn't been on is Bachelor, I guess.
He's been on Ryan Seacrest. He's been on The View. Yeah. The Daily Show. Daily Show. And so he went on 60 Minutes, and basically they asked him on 60 Minutes, they're like, what's up with The View? Your publicity tour. What's up with it? The challenge right now, and you know this better than I do, Steve, is that it used to be a president could call a press conference and the three major networks would come and he'd talk to them. And you've pretty much reached everybody in America. And these days, the closest I can get to that is being on 60 Minutes. But there are a whole bunch of folks. I challenge that, by the way. I do, too. Because, you know, when W was president, he would hold a press conference when there was something to tell you. Yeah. It was the bit. You know, we didn't see W on all these different shows. Yeah.
Never thought I'd be defending W. Hey, dude. I know. Clinton, too. We didn't see Clinton on everything. You know, when he was campaigning, he went on Arsenio. Yeah. Which was a great move. It was great. It was funny. He went on MTV, which was really good. You don't really think you're going to see the president on The View. No. Just kicking it with the crows real good. Yeah. Just loving it. Watch The Daily Show or watch The View. And so I've got to adapt. the presidency, to reach as many people as possible in as many settings as possible so that they can hear directly from me. 13-year-old girls? You know, but this is an example of where... I don't get that. Right. I don't get that. Is that the audience? I'm going on Hannah Montana. They'll be voters soon. You'll see me on SpongeBob here pretty quickly. I'm going to play Joey, a character named Joey. On Hannah Montana. And then when I'm on SpongeBob, I'm going to be playing Crusco the Starfish. Crusco. Crusco the Starfish. You know, and I just hope that makes a difference. You see me on Modern Family. M1Jason from Chula Vista. What was the word of the day? Diamond. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Well done. Well done, my friend.
You just won yourself a four-pack of tickets to Snow Jam. It includes lift tickets and also the hopper package for Legoland. Hang on a line, okay? Cresco the starfish. Huge character. Patrick's older brother. Oh, my gosh. All right, so we're getting calls for Ask the Guys. All right, now this is where girls get to call in and ask me, Woods, and Jay a question. We're also going to be getting to my audio. Of me watching TV, my wife secretly taped. Okay, so what was your question? Ladies, call in. 570-1949. Just know this before you call. We're giving you real answers. We're not giving you fake stuff. We're going to tell it like it is. All right, Sienna. Fire away. So this is something that my husband tells me all the time. And I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or as something bad. We have to be honest, whatever it is. Yeah. Okay. He tells me every time I have my hair up, gosh, babe, your hair looks really good up. I really like when you have your hair up all the time. If it's down, he never says anything. I'll curl it. I'll straighten it. I'll do whatever I can to make it look good. But if I put it up in like a messy bun, oh, your hair looks so good when it's up. I believe that's because he likes the way it looks when it's up. Me too.
Does he hate it when it's down? No. Because now I feel like whenever I go out, girls always want their hair down and pretty when they go out. And I never do that anymore because I think it doesn't even look good. I see the looks on Jay and Wood's face. And I don't know if you guys are thinking what I'm thinking. I'm like, hey, listen, it's his wife. If it were me. I think Sienna looks dynamite when the hair is down. Oh, me too. That's what I was thinking. You know, that's what we were all thinking. He'll never say, I'll curl my hair, I'll straighten it, I'll do anything. He'll never say, wow, your hair looks really good. But it will be messy really quick, and he'll say, I love your hair like that. What did I tell you the other day? That you liked when I had my hair in a loose bun. Messy bun. What does that look like? Well, it's kind of like now. It's just back in a clip. Love it, with a clip. Love it. But she didn't even, like, Sienna, you don't even have to do it all fancy. Like, if you just let your hair down right now, I think it looks really good. Let your hair down. Let your letsy. Let my hair down. Shake it out. That looks great. That looks rad. Looks great. No, I think he thinks my head looks big or something. No, no, no.
I think he does. He's like, hey, babe. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, big head. Hey, you going to fit through the door? Maybe put your hair up. Holy cow. I think he does. I'm serious. Why would it? I'll go through the, you know, it's like a test in my mind. Watch, he won't say anything about my hair looking good when I work really hard on it. He's like, hey, babe. Big head. I know this is strange, but can we talk about the size of your head? I'm serious. That's so great. All right, let's take some calls. M1 Julia from Solana Beach. What do you got? I am four months pregnant. Yeah. And I know that guys like to tell you that, you know, even though you're gaining the weight, you still look really sexy because you're carrying their child. I'm wondering if when my husband starts to say that, I'm just starting to show. I'm wondering if he really means it or if guys just say that to make you feel better. Yeah. Hey, listen, we're all going to give our truthful responses here. Uh-oh. Listen, we're all going to give a... I will be brutally honest with you. Oh, for sure. Me too. Hall pass. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, any pregnancy is hall pass. Like, there's never a... It's impossible for a woman to be pregnant, in my opinion, and you see it for anything other than she's pregnant. You know what I mean? Here's what a guy never thinks. You're getting fat.
A guy doesn't think that. Because you're pregnant. Yeah, but what if you gain more weight than maybe you're wanted? A guy has no idea how much you're supposed to weigh. Exactly. We have no clue. I do. You do, Jay? I think she gained about 25 pounds. Yeah. Really? Yep. See, and I wouldn't be like, hey, where are we now? Are we about 22, 25? I would never judge my wife. I don't buy the bit, though. I don't buy the bit of, well. You look beautiful because you're carrying our child. Neither do I. I don't believe that. I do think it's beautiful. Yeah. I do think it's beautiful, but I don't think a dude's going to be like, wow, just because you're carrying our child, yes, you're 25 pounds heavier than you were and things are dropping where they normally didn't. But because you're carrying our child, you look beautiful. Now, I think a pregnant woman is beautiful. Sienna was beautiful when she was pregnant. But I'm not. I don't buy that bit. It's different. That's the deal. See, I think that my wife looked hot when she was pregnant, but my wife's hot. Right. That's why Seattle looked good. Like, right now, I've had the baby. She's 10 weeks old now. And I'm like, okay, I need to get back to the gym. I need to be doing this. Yeah, you're freaking out.
I am freaking out. No, no. Now you need to get fit. I do. Yeah, she needs to get fit now. There's no problem with getting fit and everything, but Sienna, it doesn't matter. When you're good looking, you're good looking. You know what I mean? My wife, when she was pregnant, was the hottest. I don't know what it was, if she was releasing an endorphin or something. Dude, I'm telling you, I'm 100%. I was stoked when she was pregnant. I think she was the same. Whatever you want to think, I'm telling you. And the weird thing is, I think that she was super hot. And her sex drive was off the charts. So she's listening this morning. No, she's not. I'm telling you 100% the truth. She already is, though. Yeah, your wife's hot. And I know that. Trust me. But I'd been married to her for a long time. Every time she was pregnant, it was just like she was glowing and she was a dynamo. Here's M1 Leslie from San Diego. Leslie. Hello? Yeah, go ahead. My question is... How come guys never really realize how they feel about you until you're gone? It's a great question. Great question. It's a great question. Why do guys not realize what they have until it's gone? The answer is because of you. And let me explain. Okay. You allow it. You allow the guy to take you for granted. And you allow it and you allow it and you allow it until finally you don't allow it anymore. And then you're broken up.
And then he's forced into that position of having to not take you for granted anymore. But most of the time when a guy is with a girl and he's not, because your question is, how come he didn't know that he had this when he was with this? Because you let him. In my opinion, you let him. If you needed more, you should have told him that you needed more. My wife tells me I need more time. Yeah. Absolutely. And if she didn't tell me I need more time, my nature would be to do what I want to do. Yeah, it's a fine line too because you really don't want to be with someone as a guy that constantly reminds you of how great they are either. So you walk a fine line in that. But my answer is simple because we're idiots and we only think of ourselves. I mean, it's almost in a man's – it's almost – inbred in a man to be selfish and to I can't tell you how many times I laid there and was like you know my wife and I had some problems and I was like what am I doing I'm an idiot like I this she's the best thing that ever happened to me like how could I let that just go I would say don't be at his beck and call every time go do some stuff on your own make sure you have your own friends and as soon as you're not around every single like every time he turns around he will go wow I miss her
two days out of the week that we could hang out. And to me, like, I assumed there were, like, times we could hang out. And he started to get really frustrated, like, how come I have to spend this time with you? Right. No. Yeah, he felt like you were sweating him a little bit. Yeah. Make other plans and let him figure out that he misses you. Yeah. Here's a good one. M1, Taryn from Lakeside. What is your question? Why do guys have a girlfriend, amazing girlfriend, ask other girls that they know for naked pictures? That was that one time. I'm sorry. I was drunk. So you're saying, Taryn, so you're saying that you, is this more than one guy that asks you for naked pictures of you? Or someone you dated. I've been the girl, I've been the girlfriend that has a boyfriend that asked my friend for naked pictures. And then I've also been the girl that the guy asked for naked pictures. While he has a girlfriend.
Yeah. Okay, well, we're all going to weigh in on this one, but here's my deal. Not every guy asks females other than their girlfriend for naked pictures of them. And not every guy... What? That if they have a girlfriend, they're going to ask them, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they don't all do that. So the answer is if you had a boyfriend that did that, in my opinion, he was a dirtbag creep. And if you have guy friends that you know that ask you for naked pictures of yourself while they have a girlfriend, dirtbag creep. And, you know, it's 101 when it comes to dealing with a man. A man likes to and has to feel wanted or needed. And it's a power thing for him to say, You know, to have a girlfriend, it's great. But, you know, like the last caller, I mean, you don't know what you got until it's gone. He's like, well, at least I know I still got it. And that's why he asked for naked pictures? Exactly why, yep. In other words, a girl won't give him the picture unless he still got it? Yeah. Oh. I still got it. He wants to know that he still got it. Never. It's just weird. It is very weird. But go ahead and send me those naked photos. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. What do you say, by the way, Taron, when a guy...
asks you for a naked picture. He's like, put on the honest cap. What do you text back? You say no. Just the word no. How does he ask? Yes. Can you send me a naked picture? Oh, wow. What the heck? Whoa. Wow. Who's that guy? Creeps. I know guys like that. I don't know who you're hanging out with, but not the right guys. I got one of my buddies. You've met him before, Mike. That guy will be like, hey, check this out, and just scroll. Just hundreds of naked pictures. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, crazy. Of girls that he knows? Yeah. Why do girls send naked pictures? Don't send naked pictures. He's like a serial killer collecting stuff, you know what I mean? I don't like that. What, Sienna? That's never happened to me. Don't be hanging out with guys that are asking for that. Did you say girls don't send naked pictures? Yeah, you shouldn't. Well, not to, yeah. I mean, I would understand maybe if it was your husband or someone you were seriously dating. Maybe. Yeah.
But still, I mean, if it's some random guy, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you ever do that. Let me just say this too, girls. When he says he's not going to show it to anybody else, he's going to show it to everybody else. It's the first thing they do. They show it to everybody. He got in my car and was like, look at this. I'm like, holy smokes. And if you are going to take them, take really good quality because the ones I've seen have been horrible quality. Don't do the picture in the mirror. Creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy. Let's do one last one. You can call if you have one, 570-1949. It's girls asking me, Jay, and Woods for the real answers. We're giving you the real answers, not just what you want to hear. M1 Melanie from San Diego. Hi. So my question is, is it truly okay for a girl, kind of, or is that being perceived as desperate or what? My thought is, is that if you are the type of girl that, if you are the type of girl that is the wooer that goes after a guy, there are going to be guys that you are perfect for. This is what I mean by that. There's going to be a guy whose mom was aggressive just like you are and probably got his dad the exact same way. Obese, Mike, you would have loved it. No. No. Because that's not my mom. Oh. See, my...
take on men and women and what we're attracted to comes from our mom. We are attracted to women that exhibit a lot of the same qualities that our mom did. So if we had a mom that was very domineering and like she wears the pants in the family, we are generally going to find a woman and be attracted to women that wear the pants in the family. If we had a mom that was sort of the submissive one in the relationship and our dad was the domineering one, We will find that. If our mom was an alcoholic, we don't consciously go, I want an alcoholic. We don't consciously do it. It just plays out that way because it's what we know. So what I'll tell you about that, Melanie, is that if you want to be the aggressor, go for it and be the aggressor. Because when you strike pay dirt, it's going to be a guy that, man, you're speaking his language. That's the, you know, and then you're going to, if you did it with me, I'd be like, no, I'm out. Really? I loved getting pursued by women. I thought it was great. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if that's your type, if that's your thing, you know. Don't be overly aggressive. Don't just push it to the max. But if you just said, hey, let's just go for a drink. I was like, what is on? I think it was just mainly just trying to make the first move and making the first phone call.
or the first email. I love it. I love it. It's so sexy to me. Yeah, and sometimes, and see, that's that guy. So sexy to me. He comes from an upbringing where he's not very on the ball when it comes to that. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Maybe he's shy. Yeah, and his mom always took the initiative with everything, and so that's what he's used to. Thank you, Melanie. Appreciate it. Okay, so this audio. You want to hear this audio? Yes. Oh, my. So I, this is, this is, what it's like on any given Sunday at my house because I like fantasy football. And so you'll find yourself wanting the Raiders to end a game quick because your opponent has Jamal Charles, who's the running back for the Kansas City Chiefs. You just want the game to end. I don't want Jamal Charles to get any more points. While my wife thinks that I'm a lunatic, and she's told me before, you sound really weird when you watch football. Oh, no. And so I was by myself. and she heard me. Have you heard this audio? I heard a little bit when Jay was loading it, and what was funny about it was I was like, I don't recall any of that. Yeah, you don't know what you're saying. I don't remember any of it. I'm right there with you, pal. Until he played it, and I was hearing it, I was like, I don't even remember any of that. Listen.
So what would it take for us to not try? I sound like a lunatic. Yeah, you do. Mad scientist. Yeah, talking to myself. But can I just say this to my defense of being a lunatic? If Rebecca's in the house and she's walking around, I'll tell myself she's listening to me. Yes. So that I don't feel like a lunatic. You do whatever you need to do, buddy. Tell myself whatever I need to tell myself. Yep, there you go. And I have more on my bench. I have more points on my bench. So how crazy is that? Okay, so how many points behind is she? Nine? Nine? You're answering yourself. I do not remember this. You're asking yourself questions. As I hear it, I'm like, I don't even remember that. Hannibal Lecter called and just said, you're sending him out. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. James Gumbs on the line and said, you're the creepiest guy I've ever met. I know I was looking at my screen. I'm like, how many points do I need? Nine. Nine. I need nine.
Okay, okay, and I'm like walking through it, but I don't remember a great man Three field goals and an extra point just score Oakland Just score score score quickly. Oh this this this This is so uncomfortable. This is talking to himself questions Yes, thank you. To my defense. To my defense. She's in the house. She's walking in and out of the room. You have a pretty big house. I know. Would never have remembered that. If somebody had said to me today, did you say da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, I'd have said no way. I would not have remembered that. You would have never said score Oakland? No! Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. If Mason Crosby takes three field goals and an extra point. What?
I will write him a letter. I was looking at my screen. And I will tell him that I don't care for him. He's doing bits. What is wrong, Gil? He's doing bits to myself. How much time is this? Look at those fans. Oh, gosh. It's Skeeven Woods out. It's Skeeven Woods out. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my goodness. I want to know where she put the thing, because she didn't tell me where she put it. The recorder? Yeah, I don't know where she was taping it. They're the worst. It's like looking at Sam Quentin. Blow the ball! Oh my gosh. Please, please. Little hands clapping. Oh my gosh. Mike. I've never cheered for Oakland in my life. Who are you talking to, Mike? Hello, Mike. Hello, Mike. Oh, you. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. You sound weird. Oh, it's scary. I sound really weird. I'm not that weird.
Really? I'm not. I am. What do you sleep in at night? Nude. A pod? Nude pod. I pretend that I'm in a pod. You are a sad, strange little man. Everyone talks to themselves at times. They do? Yeah, but I don't know if they ask themselves questions out loud. No, and answer them. I don't remember asking that. I'm going to vomit. Oh my gosh. Why are they even running a play? Just check. Did you edit it like together or I just said all that just like that? Just kick. Put him out there. He's a goofball. Goofball? You know who I'm talking about? I'm talking about Sebastian. Janikowski. Seabass. Text from me. What did I say? I don't know. The big Polish dude. Sebastian Janikowski. Mike. I will kick ball. I will kick ball. Holy cow. Thank you, Rebecca. Thanks, Rebecca. Made my day. Oh, my gosh. Does it work? I remember saying that. Yeah. I don't want to lose this week. You didn't edit it all together? And Rebecca's not saying a word, mind you, while she's walking around the house. She's not saying a word. You made fun of LV. I made fun of LV. Yeah.
I looked at the screen because the whole time I have my laptop on my lap and I'm watching the score live on my fantasy football. And I looked over and saw L.O.B.'s score. You will never hear me clap and say, good job, silver and black, unless it's fantasy football. That's creepy that my wife... Very creepy. I love her. Yeah, she's the creepy one. Oh my gosh, I'm hot. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. His over shirt. Oh, that creeped me out. Found a couple guys that could probably use some B-Different wristbands. Don't know if you heard about this, but ESPN's doing a report from...
the winner's circle at the Breeders' Cup, and a fist fight breaks out while they're doing the report between a couple of jockeys. And they're like, this is happening right now. We have the audio next. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. L-O-B is flying back from New Jersey right now. Sienna is our news girl. Jay is our producer. And our phone screener is in. His name is Will. That's Will. I'm doing this new thing called Be Different. And it's a website, BeDifferentPact.com. And it is. It's a pact. It's a pact that we have as a whole community of people where we just have this black wristband on our wrists that says Be Different. The whole idea behind it is whenever we feel like being a D or we're in traffic or even with our wife or our girlfriend or boyfriend or husband, whatever.
We see that wristband and we go, you know what? I'm going to not do what I would normally do. I'm not going to get mad. I'm not going to get pissed on the freeway. I'm not going to whatever. And it's really taken off. And a couple of people are behind it with me. Everybody here on the show has got the Be Different wristbands on. Ryan Matthews, number 24 from the Chargers, is on board. Yes. Really? Yep. Wants to wear a Be Different wristband. Sweet. And Heath Bell from the Padres all in. Sonny from POD. And, you know, we're reaching out to people all the time. And, you know, but really it's about just normal people. It's regular everyday Joes. If you want a wristband, eventually what we're going to do is we're going to sell them because we got to pay for the shipping, the handling, all that stuff. And we have to, you know, it'll be a nonprofit. And the money will be used for that and to, you know, pay for this stuff. But I want it to be a global thing. I'd like Be Different wristbands to be printed in different languages. And I never thought in a million years that it would be this big this fast. But you go to BeDifferent.com if you want to see the wristband, get a hold of a wristband. And now we're doing the wristbands here at the radio station. So if you come to the radio station at the front desk, you know.
we're giving them out that way too. So I wonder if these couple jockeys maybe need to be different wristband. ESPN's doing a live coverage shot of the Breeders' Cup, and here's what happens. Well, guys, I was just here. Is Calvin Burrell just coming walking by me again? And he actually is right now. If you can turn the camera, Calvin Burrell is going after Javier Castellano right now. When Calvin came by me. And now we have a fight ensuing. Full-on fighting. And Javier Castellano are fighting in the winner's circle. Have you ever seen a scene like this at a Breeders' Cup, Jerry? Not in a big race, no. Usually guys, you know, even though it gets heated out there in the field of battle, by the time they get back here, they compose themselves. But evidently something was said that ignited it even further. This is absolutely unprecedented at this level of world-class racing. The first Breeders' Cup race of the day, and fists are flying. That's a featherweight bout, by the way. Yeah, it is. They were holding those little bubs back, man. It was crazy. Little dudes. Little guys. Poor little bubs. They're about 80 pounds or something. So small. Very small. If I ever could have laid off the carbs, I probably would have made a wonderful jockey. Write that down. Que sera, sera. Yeah, que sera, sera. So we got this great email. Jay, bring me that.
Bring me that thing. I want to read you this email that we got from this guy. See if anybody can relate to this. I thought this was great. And we called him. We got him on the line. We'll talk to him here and see if he's there. Brody, you there? Yeah, man. What's up? Not too much. Let me read your email. He writes us. He says, Mikey, I'm pretty embarrassed because my dad is coming into town. and over the last year and a half has been going through a midlife crisis and now wears an earring and a ponytail. I can read the rest of it, but I want to talk to you about it, Brody, because this is, holy cow, this struck me as funny. Is your dad Harrison Ford? So, what's the deal? You go to college? Yeah, I'm a senior over at San Diego State. Your friends know your dad. Right. They've met him in the past, like when we were freshmen and stuff, moving in and everything like that. Pre-ponytail. PPT. PPT. They knew your dad. PPT. They knew your dad. PPT. Pre-ponytail. Right. And back before, like, he went completely crazy. I think either this is a really bad joke for my senior year and stuff like that, or he's just completely...
completely lost it. Not only does he have a ponytail now, but he's also equipped with an earring, and he's gone out and bought a sports car. I mean, he's like traditional midlife crisis, or I don't even know what this is. Cliche. That's as cliche as you can get. Now, there's no chance that he really likes his ponytail? Yeah. I hope not. I mean, I don't. I'm embarrassed as hell about it. I'm going to be honest, you know. You know, and what makes it even worse is that, you know, my friends know him. I mean, they don't know, like, know him, like, they know me, but they know of him. And, you know, he's like, well, you know, I'll take the guys out. You know, we're going to go out. He's wanting to hang. And I'm like, oh, no. You know what? My friends are all sick, Dad. Everybody's got a cough. Swine flu. Yeah, swine flu. All of them have swine flu. We just had midterms. I'm sure they're not going to want to go out. You know, don't worry about it. Unless you cut the ponytail, Dad, and then we're all up for Donovan's. Take that earring out. I tell you what, Dad, go ahead and shave your head again. You know, I mean, this is like crazy. Have you, question, question. You talked to your mom about it? I brought it up because I don't know if she knows.
about it they separated back when i was in high school right and i don't know if like she knows you know about the ponytail and i don't want to because this like took me as a shock um he joined facebook like and i i'm serious he sent me a a message on there and i'm like what who the hell is in the in this profile pic and it looked like one of his pictures that i saw like in the photo album you know Back when he was like, you know, 18, 19, you know, he had long hair. Oh, yeah. He's rocking what was cool when he was, you know. He's like, hey, I look like Maiden, right? Yeah, I got a Camaro. I'm listening to Ariel Speedwagon. I need to know how far down his back does the ponytail go? Does it reach his back like bra strap? Well, he's like, I mean, growing it out. This is about a year now. And so it's pretty damn long. You know, it goes down. Let's pick him up at the airport and just rock some sticks real good. Yeah. Think he's got a jean jacket? Yeah. Guys, he can do whatever he wants with his hair. Absolutely. I would take him out and show him a crazy time. Yeah, don't worry about your friends. Everyone's embarrassed of their parents at times. For sure. It wouldn't be so bad, though, if he wasn't, like, not only just rocking the ponytail, but, like, he loves his ball caps, too, you know?
So, like, he'll, like, wear this ball cap and, like, the ponytail sticking out the back of it. Hair tie or no hair tie? He's just rocking this look right now, and it's like, whoa. And he's not a big guy. So I'm like, Dad, if you put on a bra, seriously, and some track shoes, you're a chick. Question, question, question. Sienna had a good question. Does he put, like, the hair tie and then through the baseball cap? Or does he just let it hang through? Or does he let it hang through? He lets it hang, like, through. Oh. Like a horsetail. It's like a flat ponytail. Yeah. It's like a peacock feather. Yeah. Like, chick you see in the park and you're like, woo, you know, and you keep walking. Dad, are you going jogging? Oh, no. It's okay. You have to just laugh about it. Is it? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Hey, Dad, you want to hit the Kansas concert tonight? That's great. I wonder what I would do if my old man and one hawk grew out of ponytail. I'd lose my mind. I'd be like, Dad, really? With the ponytail? Come on. Are you trying to kill me? I'm envisioning my dad with a ponytail, too. Oh, my gosh. When he calls, you know, you just go, what's up, BT? Yeah, seriously.
What's up, ponytail? Now, you've never said anything to him about it? Like, Dad, what's with a ponytail? No, I mean, I saw it, and I'm like, no way. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. You have to. I would not. Just go, oh, well, you got an earring. Rad. Your dad's probably like, just. It makes it worse that he's got an earring. Yeah, hey, Mr. T. Yeah. He probably wants you to say he looks cool. Hey, Ed Bradley, you're looking good, pal. Hey, Dad, you have a fishing lure stuck on your hair. This is the same guy that flipped out on my cat, too. There's certain things dads shouldn't do. Yeah. And those are two of the examples. Earring and ponytail? Earring and ponytail. Oh, come on. No, three. Unless you're in a band. Earring, ponytail, through baseball cap. Yeah. I mean, unless you're, you know, James Hetfield from Metallica. Okay. Does he use scrunchies? Hey, Brody, my deal would be... that you go out with your boys and your dad and you just got to nut it up. You just clown on them the whole time. Take a lot of pictures. Yeah, you just tell your friends. You're like, hey, listen, dad's going through a phase. He's got a ponytail. They'll love it. They'll have the best time ever. Oh, yeah. Oh, I know. They're going to have a blast. Hey, listen, you've got to have a sense of humor. Yeah, don't worry about it. You've got to love your dad and respect your dad and love him and, you know, just know, hey, dad wants to wear an earring, wear an earring. Doesn't mean you can't make fun of him. Life is short. That's true.
These pictures will be gold in 10 years. Oh, yeah. I found pictures of my dad with a mustache. And I died. Oh, it's the greatest. It's the greatest. You have something to hold over his head for a while. Thanks, Brody. Appreciate it. 570-1949. Anybody have any of those stories? None of my kids can call in. Anybody have any of those stories where you're just kind of embarrassed? But what are you going to do? Is there an equivalent, by the way? With a mom? Do moms have that? No. Their life crisis? No, they're just solid. Their pants just get higher and higher. Yeah, their hair gets shorter and shorter. What would be the equivalent of a mom doing something where you'd be like, Mom? My mom signed up for everything I was involved in. I played softball. She needed to be the team mom. I went to school. She was the PTO president. So she, everywhere, had to tell the kids what to do, and they were my friends. Somebody would be like, man, your mom's mean. I got one about my dad. What? I was in college, and I was at Holy Cross in South Bend, Indiana. And they came up for a game, for a Notre Dame game. And I was a bartender. And I was bartending on Friday night, biggest night. I mean, game is Saturday. Everybody goes out Friday night. I was bartending. My dad, my brother, my mom show up early at like 6. And we're visiting. So my brother's young, you know, younger. Mom takes him home. Dad's like, well, I'm just going to stay and hang out for a while. Guy closed the bar down. No. Closed the bar down with me. I look in the corner.
My dad is playing darts with like 15 girlfriends of mine. He's like, hey, give me 35 Jaeger shots. I'm not kidding. I spent the entire night like pouring them. His tab was like $800. Oh, my God. My mom called the bar. She's like, where the hell is your father? I'm like, he's here. He's playing darts. I'm super busy. Schnockered. I've seen him drunk like twice. Playing darts, having a blast. Chicks everywhere. I was like. So you liked it. You liked it. You didn't think it was weird. My friends freaking loved it. They didn't pay for a thing all night. I got like a $300 tip. It was awesome. Now this one's weird. M1 Adam from South Park. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. How's it going? Good, man. So this one's your mom, right? Yeah, it's pretty bad. So I'm 22 years old. My mom's 45. And I thought I could go out to bars and invite me out. I figured it'd be okay the first time. But it was so awkward, and she got totally smashed. Oh, wow. And it got even better because this guy was hitting on her. And, yeah, it was pretty much the most awkward time of my life. I'm uncomfortable for you. Oh, my gosh. Oh, ditto. Oh, my gosh. You know what the worst is? If your mom is really good looking, nobody wants to see somebody hit on their mom. Yeah, it was really bad. And the worst part about it is, you know, she was totally having it. So I was just like. Oh, no. She's all about it.
My aunt and uncle in Fort Worth, they go out with my cousin all the time. And, you know, they're a little bit older, but they still love to go close the bars all the time. They love to go out. Right. And my aunt got hit on by a younger guy at the bar. And my uncle punched him. Oh, no. Yeah, he fully was hitting on her. And she was like, like having a full conversation back. And he was like. Well, bam! And just, oh my gosh. Holy cow. And this is just how they are. They've been together since they were in high school. So, oh my gosh. Yeah, he's just protecting his girlfriend. Yeah, I know. Protecting his lady. Ridiculous. M1 Tracy from San Marcos. Hey, good morning, guys. Good morning. I'm totally entertained by this ponytail thing. My 70-year-old dad just surprised us with a tattoo last week. Oh, of what, of what, of what? Tramp stamp? No, it wasn't too offensive. It's actually kind of cute. He's really big into the, you know, Felipe's up in L.A., the famous kind of, I don't know if you know the restaurant, but anyway. Latino band? No, no, no, no. The restaurant, Felipe's, downtown. There's like this little emblem dude, and he's always loved this restaurant, and I don't know. It's like a chef holding a pizza or something? Yeah. No, it's just, there's like this little emblem that represents this restaurant, and he had it tattooed on.
On his leg. You know you love a restaurant when you get the tattoo. That's why I have KFC and Old English on my back. All over my back. I have the golden arches on my throat. You know what? At that age, he's been through a lot. He's had cancer. He's survived a couple times. He's a one tough dude. And I think if you want to get a tattoo on your leg, you want to wear a ponytail, you want to get an earring, you go for it. Now, yeah, when you first see it, are you like, oh, wow. Oh, hello. Dad. Oh, that's lovely. Beautiful. He told me he was going to get it, and I didn't believe him. I was like, yeah, whatever, Dad, okay. And then my sister called, totally upset. I can't believe this. Dad got a tattoo, and I'm like, right on. There you go. It wasn't like a naked lady or something. Yeah. Well, once you get older, like when you're 60, 70, you're like, hey, listen, I've been through the battles. I'll do whatever the hell I want. Nobody's telling me what to do. It's great. More power to him. And I was just going to say, that last caller, the guy with the ponytail and the earring, his dad, he needs to embrace it. That's his pop. I agree with her. Yeah.
I agree. Embrace it. Tell your friends, hey, listen, dad's got a ponytail. He's going through a thing. He's clowning out real good. He's having a blast. M1 Dina from Poway. Yeah. Well, my parents, I went back to my mom's 60th birthday in South Bend. They bought a yacht and parked it on Lake Michigan. So we're on the yacht and I'm thinking it's all cool. I put my kids down on the little sofa inside the yacht so they can watch a movie. A bra pops up out of the cushion. Oh, wow. And I'm like, Mom, why is your bra on the cushion? Oh, me and your dad had a little date. And I'm like... Oh, oh, oh. I'd have jumped right into Lake Michigan. 100%. So I'm like, Mom, that's disgusting. I'm so disgusted. So I pick up the baby and I put her on the little table area so that she can watch her movie from there. And then as I'm setting her down on the little... Down the little feeding area, my mom says, well, just so you know, we had a little date over there, too. Oh, my God! You're like, I'm trying to put the baby in a safe place. Yeah. It's like Boogie Nights at night. Exactly. You're like, hey, pervert, where else can I put the baby down? Nice work, Mom. Oh, my goodness. That's awesome, though. I just threw up my mouth a little bit. They just love each other. They just really love each other. Yeah. Hey, thanks for the call.
No worries. Appreciate it. Guy got a yacht. He's big time, dude. She's like, yeah, maybe I'll give you some. Oh, my God. Yacht owner. Yacht owner. The guy's like, Jay-Z. Little Cristal. Dude. Little Cristal. I want to believe that I came from a stork. 100%. We all do. Please, let me believe that I came from a stork. You didn't. No, you didn't. I was made in a test tube. I know that. Yes, I had to have been made in a test tube. They were knocking boots real good. Shh. Oh, my God. Your face just goes back and forth. So, yeah. I know that I was adopted. Yes. From a Spanish mission. Why do you look just like your brother and your dad? Why does it have to be that? So, we're going to do Woods of Wisdom. So, if you have a question for Woods, you can call us and ask Woods a question. 5701-949. We'll also do some Name That Tune for prizes. Got all kinds of cool stuff. Band will be performing live in Studio M on Friday. Guy's voice is so good. Cutlass, by the way, performing live Friday night. VIP tickets, I believe, are gone. The other tickets are $25. You can get them at OutsideTheBowl.org. All the money going to OutsideTheBowl, organization I'm working with, for...
You know, feeding kids in Haiti that are starving. And so all that money that you pay to go to that concert, that's where it's going to go. Really good band. By the way, I am actually excited about performing Saturday Night. Yeah. It's rad. Wow. You got to practice it. Big turnaround. For the FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Bash. Please come out and... See us. Be nice. Be nice, please. Please love me. Love me. Love me. Saturday night. It's at 4th and B downtown. The Hold Steady, the Night Marchers, New Politics, Company of Thieves, and the FM 94.9 house band, which I'll be singing a song. I can't wait to hear about it. It's going to be good. I really liked doing practice. Did you? Yeah, my voice was all shot, you know, but I just really loved it.
It's fun, dude. Playing with a live band is fun. Yeah. I miss that. We'll be doing that Saturday. Oh, boy. I am nervous. News and sports. Sienna, what's going on in the news? We all know the American student, Amanda Knox, right? She was convicted last year of murdering her British roommate. Well, today she faces a hearing to determine whether libel charges should go ahead. Basically, she and her parents were defaming Italian police. They said that the police mistreated her in custody. So they're going to court for that today. Can't lie about that if it didn't happen. Yes. And one out of every eight workers is unemployed in California. Would you like to know how much money? California borrows a day to pay the unemployment. How much? $40 million a day. California is borrowing to pay for unemployment. Oh, wow. California already owes $8.6 billion already, so not doing too hard. $8.6 billion already. Oh, my gosh. What's going on in sports, Woodsy? Well, the 25th ranked.
San Diego State men's basketball team will take the court tonight for the first time. Got a little bit of a problem, though. There's a guy named Jeffrey Lano who is intending to press charges against several unidentified Aztecs players for allegedly jumping him at Stingaree. Really? Over the weekend, yeah. Trouble there. Yeah, that's some trouble, man. You know, that doesn't happen, dude. Yeah, basically. People that aren't partying at Stingery. Yeah, yeah. Well, you can party. You can party at Stingery. You just don't jump anybody. There's nothing wrong with partying at Stingery. You just don't jump people. Yeah, they said that this guy, some people, you know, there's obviously conflicting reports, and they're saying that this guy was with a girl, and she started talking to some people. potentially players, and this guy, he's 5'11", got in some of these guys' faces and was wagging his finger. That wasn't their faces he got in. Yeah, exactly. Got in their chests. And the guy says he got jumped, and he's going to press charges. He shouldn't wag his – no, he shouldn't get jumped either, but don't.
Yeah, don't start. Don't start. Don't start business. And then yesterday there was a scary moment. Austin Colley from the Indianapolis Colts was carted off the field, strapped down. They're talking again. That's all they've been talking about is the helmet-to-helmet hits. Kirk Coleman, the Philadelphia Eagles safety, was the one that knocked him out. And, you know, they're going to be looking into this stuff, man. You guys got to be careful out there on the football fields. But he's okay. He's just got a minor concussion. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Deer Hunter. Halcyon Digest is the name of the album. Deer Hunter Tonight, 8 o'clock. Make sure you listen for it. It's going to be cool. So Woodsy is going to a wedding this weekend in South Carolina. And it's the second marriage for his buddy. Now, it brings up a lot of questions for Woodsy. Like, if I'm flying all the way out there and I've got to get a hotel, all that. Car, right? No car. No car? No. But a hotel. Cab. Yeah. Cab to and from the hotel. Yeah. With my wife. And he's flying himself. And with my wife. Right. And your question is, so do I still have to get a gift? Yes. Of course. Oh, no way. Of course. Oh, you have to. Of course. It sucks, but you have to. Let me run down the tally for you. Bachelor party in Vegas. Okay. I bought a plane ticket. Hookers? No hookers. Bought.
The hotel room at the Bellagio, like $3.50 a night. Okay, there's $700 plus the plane ticket. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Why does he have to stay at Bellagio? No, but he had a bachelor party and it's his second marriage? Yes. That doesn't make sense. Beside the point, I am down now with two plane tickets for my wife and I to Charleston, South Carolina, across the country. Three-night hotel stay in Charleston, South Carolina. Meals, the whole bit. This total thing is going to be easily $4,000 to $5,000. I would have made the bachelor party, but blown off the wedding. I'm in the way. I would tell him I would not be in it. I'd tell him no. I have to do it. Yeah, I had to do that, too. You want to do it. Do what? You want to. I want to be there for him, but now I've got to buy him a crockpot? Why don't you buy a crockpot? It's $15. The thing that sucks is he's already bought him a crockpot. Now he has to buy him another one. Yeah. It's the second wedding. Well, what I don't understand is, man, dude, you're going to the extent of paying for all the other stuff, and now you're like, gift? Like, how much is a gift? I guess I have to, right? I'm not just asking. Has his wife or his fiancee been married before? No. Yeah, you have to then. I have to. Because this was an experience for her. Was I judging you? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge. No, you're not judging. Honestly, I have another friend that called and was like, dude, are you guys getting him a gift? And I'm like, well, of course. I didn't think about it. And I go, are you? And he goes, no.
Sienna, is there a checklist when you're going through gifts? Are you checking gifts against a guest so you know somebody didn't get you one? I know who didn't get me a gift, yes. Of course. I would not be checking. You're not checking, but if everybody's bringing a gift and you're like... You don't bring them. No, you send them. You're aware. Here's the deal. I'll buy them one at the next break. You want to know what someone, what a friend of yours, what their thoughtfulness was. Like, what did they think of... of you what was their thought for you like maybe they got you my thought candy that they know that you like my thought for you was flying my ass across the country and my wife and you know here's the other thing you know jamie is going with me and now it's you know she's like well i'd like to get my hair done and i need to get a new dress and i'm like it's it's not it's not stopping then they'll have a kid and they're gonna do i mean it's not stopping and that's but it doesn't ever stop Like, you just have to deal with it. You suck it up. You kind of suck it up. And I'm not a cheap guy. Like, I've never been a cheap guy. I'm just curious as to the etiquette in that case. I guess at the next break, I will log on and find their registry and I'll buy them something. You can get them a $30 rack of spices. You know what I mean? Yeah, but then I'm the guy that bought them a $30 rack of spices. Well, better that than nothing. I'm with Jay, though. I say that you've spent that, you know, you went to his bachelor party and you say to him, dude.
Money is really tight right now. I want to be in that wedding more than anything, but dude, I just, I can't make it right now. I can't do that. Here's a nice card. That's one of my best friends. Yeah. It's one of my best friends. And let's be honest, who are the gifts really for? For her. The bride. Yeah. Well, that's what I mean. It's her first wedding. Oh, yeah, we got to play golf on Friday, the whole thing. Maybe he pays for that. Maybe he should be paying for that. It's a huge, huge expense. That we don't really have, you know, and it's like, I was a bride this year and I know, I mean, I totally see where you guys are coming from and it sucks. And I had to do that too, fly away. But when you're a bride, man, and you get one of those presents in the mail, like I could tell you exactly what each of you got me. I remember and I will always remember. I didn't go to the wedding. I know, but you got me an awesome lantern that's sitting in my living room. What did I get you? Woodsy got me a tray, a really pretty tray. And Mikey got me a Cuisinart. Wow. Wow. I'm telling you. Sienna, you just sold me. And I had 150 people at my wedding. His wife will go, oh, look what Woods and Jamie sent. Yes, you're right. Done. It's not even a question anymore. M1 Alicia from San Diego has good news for you, Woods. Go ahead, Alicia. Etiquette for weddings says that you have at least a year from the wedding date to get a gift for the couple. That's true. So I'm not, if I show up and go to the wedding.
I'm not El Cheapo because I didn't bring something and I haven't already sent something. You can get them something later. I went to a wedding this year and it was in Vegas. We couldn't really afford to go at the time. So we didn't bring them with us, but we did get them something later on. Yeah. Done. She's absolutely correct. Done. You can wait and see if it lasts, too. Maybe it won't last to you. Thanks for the call. I wouldn't go. You wouldn't go to the wedding? I wouldn't go. You have to. You have to go when you're in it. Bro, what if it was my wedding? I would say to you, bro. And I'd say you're an ass clown is what you are for not coming to my wedding. If you said that to me, it would make you the jerk, not me. No, you'd be the jerk. I'm not a jerk that I don't have money. Yeah. That doesn't make me a jerk. How many weddings do I have? That's life. We have money. You don't have the kind of money. Do you have? Okay. Yes, because it's basically paid for, but it's just hard to spend. No, yeah, it's hard. How many special days do I have to go to to see you, you know? I don't want to go to your second wedding. I missed the first one. I wasn't at the first one. And he asked me, please stand up there with me. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I don't even think that's an issue. And I've never had a problem with that. My deal is, it's funny. I'm like, oh, yeah, we get the plane ticket. And then I'm like, do I got to buy him a $50 gift? But the second wedding, man, it stinks. But it's for her. It's for her. Her first? Her first.
See, that was me. Todd had been married before. He didn't have a wedding before, so it was his friends first. But it's a huge deal to the bride. Huge deal. Yeah. 5701949. What's your input on that? You know, if money was tight in any way, I would say, listen, I love you. It's weak. It's weak. It's life. Dude, it's weak, bro. It's life. It's super weak. It doesn't make you... He's one of my best friends in the world. Then he'll understand. No, he won't. He'll be like, dude, I wanted you up there with me. You can't do it without your friends. It would cause such a... I would feel like the biggest turd. Maybe we don't go to Vegas and stay at the most expensive hotel. Yeah, I mean, these guys are ballers, too. See, yeah, I would have cut out that party, the bachelor party. You're being too hard on yourself. Missed the best part. Are you kidding? I had the greatest three days of my life, though. We had a blast. I think Wood's being too hard on himself. I think that you're punishing yourself worse than he would. Maybe you know him better than I do. Yeah, and I think that would go along with it. I mean, I just cannot.
see missing this wedding. I just can't. Uh-oh. People are calling in and they're... What they don't like is that this whole second wedding bit and that we're in any way diminishing the second wedding. This is M1 Robin from Poway. Robin, are you there? You say second wedding or not, it doesn't matter. I agree with that, but... But it's the second wedding. We've already given the gift. We've already done the congratulations. We've already thrown the rice. Why do we need to do it again? Because it's a very special day between those two people. Yeah, maybe have a small wedding. How many times do you get to have a very special day? Is it three or four? Yeah. Well, that's up to them. And whether you want to come or not is up to you and buying a gift. Yeah, but you just said we got to. You just said. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I said it's a very special day. And to put it down or.
or make a judgment call that they don't deserve a gift because one of them has been married before. I just don't think it's the same. Yeah, I mean, I definitely didn't take that side because my wife was married before, too, and she was the one. She's like, let's go to the Justice of the Peace or go to Vegas. I'm like, no, I was like the girl. I was like, no, I want a wedding with my friends and play for you. So her friends had to nut up and give us gifts. They already had to give her five years before, but oh well. But you were aware of it, though. Like you felt you're like, yeah, I felt like I was like, you know, but I I'm kind of an overthinker about stuff like that. But I yeah, I don't you know, I mean, you can get married four times. That didn't mean I want to be at every wedding and fly across the country. But, you know, it's not their fault. They live in Charleston, South Carolina. This is not a destination wedding. I'm actually skipping out on another really good friend's destination wedding in December because I'm like, I can't no more. No more. They kill me. The destination. Yeah, it's tough. They're fun. They're fun. They're fun, but it's tough. But it's tough, dude. It's expensive. It's expensive. And what we do for a living, I mean, we're not out laying brick or building buildings, but I got a cross-country flight on Sunday and I got to wake up at 3.30 in the morning on Monday and come into work. I'm like, dude, this is going to be, it's going to be hard. You know, it's going to be rough. How time do you get back? Like six or seven. Yeah. Mike, don't panic. It's going to be okay. He'll be here. He'll be fine. I'll be here. He'll sleep on the plane. I'll be on point.
I'm getting an earlier flight. I can't, dude. It's cross country and we have a layover. Mike likes us all to get a good night's sleep. Maybe don't worry about it. Why'd you tell him? He asked me. He likes me to leave my body. I know. Right now Mike's spitting out. We get in about midnight on Sunday night, so I probably just won't even sleep. I'll just come straight here. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. M1Gino from Escondido. Go ahead. Yep. I've been married 15 years, and two of my best friends were at my wedding party. They didn't get me anything because I think they had to rent a tux, and that was tough on them. That's so, guys. It still bugs you. Yep. I'm not going to be that guy, Gito. A present, presents don't even matter. A card, especially because guys don't do this, write how you feel about your bro in a card, paragraph. His wife goes, oh, that's a sensitive friend because crockpot plates, that stuff even matters. Yeah.
It's huge. A card of how you feel and you being there, that's everything. You're a good man. You came across the country and the main thing is you told me that card and we're broke. Not bad. You're a good man. And I love the idea. I'm still going to get the gift just because I don't want to be the Chiefs game. I don't want to be a dirt bag. I don't want to be a dirt bag. Let's play Name That Tune. Call us right now, 570-1949. You're going to pick me, Woods, Sienna, or Jay. Okay? And that's the way that name that tune works. You pick me, Woods, Sienna, or Jay. And what's the theme today and the prize today? Wait, Jay's filling in for LOB? He can't. He loaded it. No. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Jay can't play. It's just the three of us. I was like, what? Yeah, I don't know why I said that. No, no, I've got Snow Jam tickets for the winner. Sweet. And today's is kind of a random mix of it's just people singing pop songs. All ages. So we just guess the song? You gotta guess the song. Or artist. It's legitimate to name that tune. Yeah, guess the song or artist. You can still do that. 5701949, me, Sienna, or Woods. Sienna, how you feeling? Sienna's gonna kill it. No, I'm not. You are. You're gonna do great. It's pop music. Oh, yeah. Just say that and then I lose. I don't know any. You guys are quick. M1, let's see. We got M1 Karina from Otay Ranch. Are you there? Yes, I am. Who do you want to represent you?
There you go. It's a good choice. Where's the woman love? Woods is good. M1 Drew from El Cajon. I'd like you, Mikey. I'd like you, too. Poor Sienna. Hang on. Every time. Every time. It's okay. I know how to do this now. I'm going to take the high road. M1 George from Del Cero. Who would you like to select, George? Sienna, please. You got her. I love you. You got her. I'm going to win for you, George. That's right. I almost didn't get her, but then he got her. He got her. Okay, let's do this. We use our name as a buzzer. Here we go. Here we roll. Woods. Is that Whitesnake? I knew the song. I didn't know who sang it. It confused me to hear normal people. I know. It's very tough. Here we go. This one's going to be tough. Yeah. Hey, guys, I can't. Sienna. Mikey. Sienna. Amazing Grace. Yes! Yes! As quickly as I know. Oh, man. I knew it too, but it took me to that. I almost said Amazing Race. Oh, man.
He was singing in front of a full church, too. Gorgeous. He's great. He's good, isn't he? Here we go. Sienna! Sienna! Bad day. Daniel Powder. Oh, wow. Dang it. Holy crap. She's the best I've ever done. She's doing so good. Two in a row. She's got a newfound confidence. I know. She's loving it. Screams into the microphone. Go, Red, go. Boots with a full ring. Sienna! Woods. Apple bottom jeans? That's not what it's called. It's not what it's called. It's called low. Low. I give it to Sienna. You got to. You got to give it to her. She got the name of it. She got it. By Flo Rida. You're right. Damn it. Woods, you don't know your Flo Rida stuff? Come on. Come on. Just so you know, Sienna free. Sienna. Woods won. Oh my gosh. I'm negative. I don't have any. I'm back to zero. He's back to zero. Oh my gosh. I'm on the board alone. Here we go. Mikey. Whitney Houston. Yep. I'm on the board. I'm on the board. You're on the board. This one's actually really good. Sienna. Holy crap. Lady Gaga. Wow. My God. Wow. You must know, you've seen that kid, Grayson, whatever his name is? History's about to be made. What song was that? I've won twice before. It's paparazzi, and the kid is singing and playing piano at the same time. Yeah, yeah. It's insane.
Sienna's killing it. I've never been so nervous. Sienna. Aqua. Oh, wow. Wow. I'm having a good one. Holy cow. You guys, this has never happened before. Aqua. We're getting our butts hit. Lauren, if she was here, it's because Lauren's not here. She would know them all, too. Oh, my gosh. This is fun. I have to get one more. I have to get one. Mikey. Mikey. Pants on the ground. Easy. That was cheap. I know. Cheap sometimes. Here we go. It needs to be in English, Jeff. We'll be in English. Mikey. Three, two, one. I need you now. Now? You got gotten.
Mikey, one, Woods, zero, Sienna, five. You get to hear the rest of it. Woods. I don't know. Can't live? Can't live without you. It's without you, but okay. It's close enough. Dang it. Can't live. Can't live. Is it over yet? No. Dang it. We got two more. Ten points each. Little drink. Little fruity drink. Cushies, cashews, whiskey. Sienna. Mikey. No. Carrie Underwood. No! Until he cheats. What's his score? We got one more score. Don't make it a hard one, Jay. What is it? What is it? Mikey, two. Woods, one. Sienna, five. Oh, this is a five-pointer. Yes! There we go. Love it. Here we go. Woods. I hate you. I hate you. Jackson, five. Score? The final score is Mikey, two. Woods, two. Sienna, five. Game. No, George wins. Come on! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
I stole one finally. It's about time the kid got somebody back. That was good. Even I'm giving it up for you on that one. Karina, look at that. Woods stole it right at the end for you and got you the win. That was great. That was great. Oh, my gosh. Woods is all in on the points game now. Love it. Loves it. Sienna was so irritated. She was doing so good. She was doing so good. She was about to win. She walked right out of here. Right out of here. She's good. That's rad. About time. Hey, Jay, do we have it? Sienna just came back. I'm going to take this opportunity to go pump and get away from you guys. There you go. Cheers. I love you, George. You should have won. Feels real good, doesn't it, to get it snatched from you? Yeah, but I never win. You guys are mean. Yes. All right. So, Jay, do we have another prize that we can give away? Absolutely. What is it? I can hook them up with a four-pack of Legoland tickets. Okay. If you want a four-pack of Legoland tickets, tell me.
What A-list celebrity is introducing Miley Cyrus on German TV in this clip? Who is this? Who was that? If you can tell me who that was, we'll give you a four-pack of tickets to Lego. Come back and tell you. This is actually me singing. Isn't it beautiful? Hey, if you are looking for a graphic designer, we have the best in the business. He did our website. He did MikeyShow.com. He's got his own website. It's CreateYourDesignOnline.com. Jared is a personal friend, and the guy is amazing. Check out CreateYourDesignOnline.com. Check Jared out, man. The dude is phenomenal. Before we went to break,
We played this for you. Who is this? Who is saying that? Who is it? What famous A-list celebrity is that? M1 Zach from Normal Heights. Who do you think it is? It is not Tracy Morgan. Good guess. M1 Tracy from Carlsbad. Who is it? Sasha Baron Cohen. It is not Sasha Baron Cohen. Sorry about that. Let's see. M1 Melissa from San Diego. It is not Seal. I know it. M1 John from Marietta. Castle Hawk. It is not David. Good guess. Legend. M1 Lorenzo. How dare you. John. From Scripps Ranch. Who was it? Could that be Denson?
Washington. Oh, great. It was Denzel. He said, Michael, I can translate for you. He said, please put your hands together for the very 40 Miley Cyrus. Yes, that's exactly what he said. I love her. Of course not. Okay. What is that? I don't know. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Why didn't you answer the first time? Oh, no. You didn't answer when I was knocking a second ago. We've got stuff to do. Hoyle, we're on the air. There ain't no on-air light. Yes, there is. Yes, there is. Where is it? I didn't see no on-air light. That's why I was knocking on the door. I want to make sure y'all weren't on the air. Well, it is a little bit higher up. Maybe you just didn't see it. This is short. You've got to look up. Yeah. I'm diminutive. You are diminutive. I got a special announcement. What? Really? Yeah, that's right. Tomorrow, we're going to have something real special happening here on FM 94.9. What is it? Got a lot of good stuff planned tomorrow. That's right. I am doing The Incorporator. No, you are not. That's my bit. You can't do that. Listen, I heard you do it last week. You messed one up. Damn it. He did.
Messed one up? I didn't think it was a real word. This is the first time this is lost. I've never been beaten. I'm pulling rank. Really? That's right. You mean mattress police? That's right, I am. I'm a manager. Fake manager? I'm not a fake manager. I'm a real manager. Still haven't seen your office. I don't have one yet. They're reconstructing. Nine months. It's in my contract. I'll eventually have the office. So you're going to come in and steal my bit. I'm not going to steal it. I'll return it. That's not thievery. You just want to try it. I'm going to try it. Do you think you can do it? I'm going to show you how to do it. You're going to show me how it's done. The inventor of the incorporator. Based on last week, yes, I am. Oh, boy. What was the word that you couldn't remember once? Well, he'd never heard of the word. Capacitor. Capacitor before. I've heard of the word capacity. And I knew, you know, capacitate. No, see, that's not even a word. Flux capacitor. You see what I mean? You see what I mean? He's a stuttering idiot. He couldn't work that into his incorporate. I couldn't get it in. Oh, well. Well, don't worry. Tomorrow I'm going to show you how it's done. You've never done it. I do it at home when mama's not home. You do? Yes. Because you like it. That's right. It's a good bit. It's a great bit. I've tested it out. We had a focus group. I said, what do y'all think? And the focus group said, well, we don't care.
For Woods' deep southern accent. Maki. What about your deep southern accent? I don't have one. Well, that's a deal. If you're going to be a professional and be on the radio, you can't have an accent. You have an accent. Yeah, you don't sound... No, I don't. You sound like a hayseed. No, before I moved to California, I had a southern accent. You still do. I don't at all. I don't. In fact, I'll talk to relatives back home and they'll go... Look at this California boy on the line. Look at this California kid. And I said, I know it. I know it. It's just I moved out to California before you knew it. I was talking like a Californian. You're all West Coast now. I'm completely West Coast. Oh, my God. He's got Quicksilver shorts on. I think this might be hilarious. Well, the thing is, is when I live back in Mobile, man, I tell you what, you'd hear me and I'd be, hi, how you doing? And I definitely sounded Southern. Yeah.
But the funny thing is, you come out here to Southern California, you blend right in, and you just adopt what, you know, live as the natives do, as they're saying, right? Live as the natives do. Isn't that what they're saying? Then why are you telling us to wear dockers and stuff like that? Well, I think that's probably a business attire. That ain't what I wear when I'm out of here. No. Once I leave here, I dress in Hurley and put silver. Surf ride. Surf ride. You know, I belong to the Surf Ride Foundation. Do you surf? I do. You do? Hoyle, do you have a shirt that says affliction across the chest? I actually don't have an affliction shirt. I got an affliction hat. Oh, okay. And I do like affliction, though. I think it's all right. I love, you know, I have this wonderful Ed Hardy shirt. Wonderful. And it's really colorful. It looks like a tattoo. It looks like a tattoo artist did it. Did it have jewels and stuff on it? Yeah, it's bedazzled. Don't wear that, please. Why not? Because they're not cool. Sienna, here's the deal. You have now become a responsible mother and working woman. You don't know what women find hot. Don't I? You're not in the game anymore. Listen, you're married. You're married. You ain't single. I'm 25 years old. Yeah, but you ain't single. So? Listen, I've been to the singles bars like Gordon Biersch. I know what girls want. What they want is a guy muscular like myself wearing Ed Hardy.
And affliction. And stuff that has women. We're all like peacocks. And we have to show our plumage and our feathers. That's why I have their studded. That's why the shirts are studded. That's your plumage. That's my plumage. And I'll walk in there. Hey, let me tell you something. There's some handsome black guys that go in there. All right. And I ain't going to mention names. A lot of them are San Diego Chargers. And I can play with the big boys. Really? These girls, most of the time, they see these black fellas and they think, oh my goodness, money, fame. Rancho Santa Fe, Bentleys, whatever. It don't matter. It don't matter because I walk in there and all you got to do is wear the Ed Hardy hat backwards. I ain't never left there without bringing home a woman. I heard that a lot of prostitutes do that out there. I pay for a massage if I get a massage.
That doesn't make it prostitution. I got a massage. Yeah, it's a payment for services rendered. Yeah. It's like getting your shoes shined. Right, but we're still dating, technically. Did you get any of their phone numbers? No, no, but I know where they hang out. They hang out where I hang out. Where do you hang out? They're not prostitutes, what? Okay, smart as you know. Well, I look forward to you being the incorporator. Thank you. Tomorrow. I do not look forward to you being the incorporator. But I guess since you're my boss, Hoyle, one of my bosses. I've got like nine bosses. Well, I'm your main boss. Well, okay. The only person I report to is Dimmick. Okay, well. But everybody else is under me. I am Rick R. Jackson's boss. No, you're not. Mikey's boss. I'm Mikey's boss. I'm Garrett Michael's boss. Jay's boss. Jay's boss. I'm everybody's boss. The only person I've got to report to is Dimmick. But he doesn't. He's in Atlanta. He lets you kind of run. He's in Atlanta. He listens to everything I say anyway. I'll tell him, hey, here's the way I think it should go, and that's the way it goes. Okay. 7.30 tomorrow morning. Hoyle. Hoyle Henready Incorporated. Yes! Jay just held up a sign that said where we'll be calling. Where? What are we doing?
Yeah, turn the microphone on there, bro. Boot barn. Boot barn. Perfect for you. You'll be great. I'll do fine. Don't call me a hayseed. I don't have an accent. I'm sorry, Hillbilly. Call me a hayseed if I talk with a southern accent. If I don't and I talk like a surfer, then dude, you better call me one. All right, bro? All right, bro. You know what I mean? Can you say gnarly? Gnarly, man. Totally tubular radical. Oh, wow. And awesome. That's awesome. Oil. I'll tell you what, man. My family gets so upset. Man, you've turned into a California boy. Sure. Let's do some Woods of Wisdom. Thank you, Hoyle. Thank you. See you tomorrow. Thanks for stealing my bits. Maybe you do Sienna Sings next week, too. How about that? You're such a complainer, Woods. I know. Malcontent. Redneck. Look who's talking. You're a hick. You're a goat roper, as my grandfather used to call him. All right, let's do some Woods of Wisdom. Where is my Woods? Here we go. Let's do this. Come on. Woods of Wisdom is where you can ask Woods questions. Have to do with anything. Call 5701-949 if you want to ask Woods a question. We get emails, too. You can go to MikeyShow.com, and when you get there, you will see a little section that says Woods of Wisdom.
And you can ask any question that you'd like. By the way, the website is now officially back to normal. Yes, it is. People were flipping out. What's going on with the website? What's going on with the website? We decided that we were going to change things up a little bit. Yeah, switch it up on you. Yeah. Real sweetly. We're going to change it up a little bit. People just, we did it just to see what the reaction would be. Well, the reaction was overwhelmingly confusion. I love it. What's going on? Nope. That's not what I want. That is not what I want. Where is it? You're close. You're close. It's over here, isn't it? It is. It's over there. I feel like a blind guy reaching around with my hands. Either that one or the one before it. Here we go. There we go. Nice. I like it. Soothing. All right, Woods, you ready? I'm ready. Woods, why do you have to hate on the Lord of the Rings? You've never seen it. And you might want to see something before you criticize it. And that's M1 Stagecoach. Well, M1 Stagecoach, I have also never watched LPGA or the WNBA.
I just know that I don't like it. You're pregnant. Yeah, I know that I don't like fantasy, dude. So you want to, you know, put a cloak on and wear fake little ears? Have a ball. I'll be at home with my wife, dipping snuff, playing ball, you know, man stuff. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. Woods, I heard you mention last week that if you go out drinking, you always get into trouble or get into fist fights. I do that a lot, especially when I go out with certain people. Do you have any tips on how not? To get pissed at people when you drink. Absolutely. Someone hood rat. Yeah. Hood rat. Stay home. Yeah. That's what I do. That's a great plan. That's what I do. Woods now just stays home. Mm-hmm. Doesn't go out. Yeah. If I go out, you know, and I wouldn't say always. There have been, obviously, hundreds of nights I've gone out and haven't gotten in trouble. But anytime I've ever been in trouble, it's because I've been out boozing. Yeah. That's it. I mean, so you take away. that part of the equation and you know stay home or have a couple drinks at the house do that and you know what hood rat you take the good you take the bad you take them both and then you have the facts alive that's another thing that people have said forever forever so just keep that in mind you know what man you got to keep your head about you out there there's too many things that can go wrong and you can get in a lot of trouble take it from me bring a woman with you we'll keep you no that's even worse get you in this fight yeah oh wow
570-1949 if you want to ask Woods a question. Woods, why do most girls seem to think that I have to pay for everything? I've never been on a date where the girl offers to pay, and I've heard you guys say that that happens. I guess I would always pay, but it'd be nice if they at least offered. What's your take on that? M1 Steve-O. Well, it's pretty easy. You are a big, giant cheapskate. M1 Steve-O. I think until you marry a girl, pretty much expect to pay for everything. And if that's too much for you, then maybe you get a paper route because you are a giant clown. Sorry. I mean, seriously, come on. Yeah, you're supposed to pay for the girl. Yeah, you want it when you're opening your door for you too when you get in the car? Yeah. Come on, dude. Opening doors for you when you walk into the building? Yeah, you're supposed to pay. Men pay. Women pay when they get married.
No, in the beginning, after a few dates, a woman should offer. Honey, after a couple years, then you're like, all right. Like, Jamie will pay for stuff now. I'm like, yeah, you're my wife. It's coming from the same place. Yeah. We have separate accounts. Bobby Woods bought Jamie dinner the other night. He bought her dinner. Yeah, what's so weird about that? I'm really confused. And she was, like, really thankful because... It wasn't her money. Sometimes she'll treat him, and it's her account. Yeah, like we were in the grocery store yesterday. I go, babe, do I need to bring my wallet? She goes, no, I got this. Okay. She offered to pay. I have my own account, and Todd has his own account, but we also have a joint account. Yeah, we don't have that. But I'll pay for him. It doesn't matter. If my bank runs out of money or something, he'll give me money from his and put it in there. Exactly. I do the same. You don't worry about it. It's cute. I like it. It's good. Do I? My wife doesn't put me on an allowance, so. My wife does, but I have to. I do not. Yeah, you just go crazy. Do I? Don't you? Do I? Don't you? Do I? You do. Do I? On what? Well, let's talk about where do you get all your music? iTunes. And how much do you spend there? Thousands. Thousands. Thousands. Thousands. You said you go. Hundreds. Bananas. Yes. Okay, so that's my thing. I don't have dirt bikes like Jay. I don't have big expensive TVs and Cuisinarts and dipping trays.
I spend my money on music. What's a dipping tray? Your little things that you bought last week. Your little dipping trays that you bought. That you had to have. You put olive oil and balsamic vinegar in it. Yeah, who doesn't need dipping trays at their house? $5. Yeah, because you bought dipping trays. Mike, dipping trays can add up. Yeah, exactly. That's why you're on an allowance. That's why I have an allowance. Oh, I got some other stuff. I know you did. You know what I spend my money on? iTunes. Like baseball gear and snuff. That's my expenditures. Those are my expenditures. M1 Marie from San Diego has a question for Woods. Hi, Woods. Hi. Hi. I am an avid dog lover. I rescued a dog, and I would get more if I could. I know you have a ton of dogs. I do. So my question is kind of twofold. So first, why do you think some people don't like dogs? And then how do you deal with them when you have your dog around? You're just kind of freaked out because they don't like dogs. You know, I don't understand why people don't like dogs, probably because I love dogs so much. But, you know, it's not for everybody. Some people are allergic. Some people still consider them, in the south where I'm from, wild animals. And they keep them chained up outside. And they're like, that's a wild animal. I'm like, no, that's a domesticated house pet that needs your attention to survive.
As far as people that don't like my dogs, I really don't associate with a lot of people that don't like dogs. I just don't. I mean, I gravitate towards dog lovers. And if, you know, in my case, if I had somebody that came over and was like, oh, I really don't like your dogs, you'd be like, you can hit the road. Yeah. Yeah. Are you dating somebody, Marie, that doesn't like dogs? Well, actually, okay, this sounds really weird, but when I first started dating my boyfriend, he was living alone and he had a cat. That's weird. Yeah. Dudes with cats are weird. I'm sorry, but they are. I don't know any guy that was alone and had a cat. Usually they get the cat from the girlfriend. Yeah, his girlfriend, you know, moved. Well, that's what happened. Maybe passed away. I don't know. He's like, now I'm stuck with this cat. He's like, great, I got to take care of her cat. She died. What do I do? I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. That's kind of what happened. He had a girlfriend that was her cat, and they broke up, and he got the cat. Yeah, he wanted the cat. I love cats. Trust me, he wanted the cat. Okay, so you're dating this guy with a cat, and you have a dog? Yes. And does he not like your dog? No, he loves the dog. He said he doesn't like the dog, but he does. Now, question, though. But did he say to you, do you think it's weird that I have a... No. He didn't? No, no. Did he ever outwardly say to you, listen, I just want you to know, I don't really like dogs. I have a cat. I'm not sure why, but I really want to know the cat's name. The cat's name is Shelly. Of course it is. Shelly.
This is Chelly. This is Chelly. More than likely. Come here, Chelly. This is Chelly. This is Marie. Hi. More than likely. Marie, say hi to Mr. Chelly. More than likely. Mr. Chelly, say hi to Marie. No, the reason why he said he has a cat is because cats are really independent and he didn't want to have to deal with all the work of a dog because it's kind of a lot of work. His name is Mr. Ball. Come here, Chelly. He's my kitty cat. And we call him Mr. Balls because he plays with yarn balls. Don't be mad. Don't be mad. Hear Mr. Balls. She's really regretting the phone call. Don't regret this phone call. I love you. Shelly loves you. I love you. And my dog Carlito loves you. I love Carlito. I love Carlito. Awesome. Carlito loves Mr., sorry, Senor Bean. Oh, yes. Who doesn't? Thank you, Marie. Good luck with Shelly. Bye. Marie. Oh, my. Oh, my. I'm just going to tell you something right now. If your freaking dog hurts Mr. Balls in any way, shape, or form, it's over here. Mr. Balls. It's Shelly. You know that. If he hurts Shelly. Shelly. Shelly.
If he hurts Chelly, if he barks up his tree, if he scares him, if he freaks him out in any way or fashion. It's finished. From now on, Marie, whenever she's near Shelly the cat, she'd be like, really, Shelly? Or Mr. Balls. Hey, Shelly. This one's going out to Marie and Mr. Chelly. And Mr. Balls. And Mr. Balls. It's because he plays with the eye.
Don't throw him on the bed. I love it so much. Oh, that is the greatest ever. Thank you. You too. Put that video up. It's up. It's on my page. Randy Quaid insists that him and his wife were not breaking the law in any way, even though they missed their court date last week. So they got grilled about it. We have the clip of them getting grilled about it. I'm sure it's going to be weird. And it's next. He said my car. So you know. FYI. FYI. Before I start getting calls. Caress me like a tropical priest. You guys are so obsessed. Obsessed. This is all we've listened to during commercials. Over and over. For four hours. Yeah, pretty much.
It's the most delightful thing my ears have ever heard. It's so great. And I just simply cannot get enough of it. Cannot get enough. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Deer Hunter. Halcyon Digest. If the police were back and they were in their early 20s, they would be called Mute Math. That guy kind of had that police sound. I have to hear this. A woman was able to solve a 27-letter puzzle on Wheel of Fortune with one letter. One letter. Listen, I don't care who you are. That's pretty good. You can give me eight letters out of nine. I won't be able to solve the puzzle. We should play it someday. I want to see how bad Mike is. I know it. Here we go. One L. What's that? Can I solve?
Okay. They're laughing. It was a prize puzzle. Yeah. They clearly were like... Okay, psycho. You bet. Okay, lunatic. Sure. Yeah. You know how this game is played, though, right? Shouldn't you get a couple more rolls? Don't you get more money for... Yeah, but you could hit bankrupt. Right. And then you've got to pass it over. Mm-hmm. I've got a good feeling about this. That's right. Woo! Un... Believe in it. I have a good feeling. I've got a good feeling about this. That tonight's going to be a... Weird. She got that with L in feeling. Yeah. Weird. She's like, did you see my note card or something? Yeah. Is it going to come out that she cheated? I mean, how would you cheat, though? No one's been able to cheat before. Yeah. She was slaying the guy in the back. Yeah, she made out with the guy that does the... Passwords. 27 letters. Rad. She gets L and figured that out. Why does she not even sound like happy or surprised? Shocked or freaking. She knew the answers. If I did that, I would be jumping up and down. Like I just saw cancer or something. I'd be like, I did it! She's like, what do I win? What does she win? Next. It's first before you win it.
I had a good feeling about it. You said that 15 times. I know. Might as well send it to the Caribbean. Now she's excited. Wow. Caribbean or Caribbean? I don't really buy it now. You think she cheated? No. I don't know. I don't like her. You don't like her attitude? Her excitement level was not high enough. She should have been way more freaked out. Hello? Like, yes. He's like, you want an empanada? You want a pineapple empanada? Yeah. Pineapple empanada? I'm in. I love it. 27 letter puzzle. That's rad. That's insane. Are you good at Wheel of Fortune or any of those shows, Hill? I don't know about good, but I love Jeopardy screaming out the answer. Me too. I love Millionaire. No. Love millionaire. Even if I'm wrong, it's so fun to just yell out whatever. Can't watch Jeopardy because I never know the answers. Ever. Never. None of them. Not one question. I don't know the hard ones, but the easy ones sometimes. I just love watching Alex Trebek, especially when they're in French.
Because he likes to show off that he speaks French. He's like, oh, it's King Louis XIV and his... You're like, really, pal? We get it. You're French-Canadian. How is someone... Very impressed. How does somebody know all of that stuff about all those different subjects? I don't know, man. I've seen some beasts on that show. I like college. When they do college, Jeopardy, because that's more of my speed. Even Teen Jeopardy is pretty rad. One of my teachers was on Jeopardy one time. Really? Yeah. She do good? It was a guy. No, he didn't do very good, but he's smart. I think he was totally nervous. Really? Uh-huh. Did he look super nervous? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I knew a guy that was on a game show, and he won a Mercedes. Wow. That's pretty rad. I would love to be on a game show. So much. I would be terrible. You'd be good on Price is Right. I would love it. See, I'm not good with Price is Right because I don't. remember prices. I just pay for stuff. But Jeopardy or musical Jeopardy, I would love to do. I've cleared a board. I've gotten every question right before. Didn't VH1, didn't they do Rock and Roll Jeopardy? Do they still do that? I don't know, but I can maybe try that. Mark McGrath won like $50,000 every time he played. He's brilliant at musical knowledge. He needed that money, too. M1 Kyle from Carlsbad was on Wheel of Fortune. Is that right, Kyle? That is right. I was on Wheel of Fortune.
How did you get on the show? I got lucky, actually. You can't get on if you don't try. I just filled out their contact form on the website. Six months later, they sent me an audition. And I don't know, I think it stood out from the crowd. They said, bring a family member. And I auditioned and played on the show. Oh, wow. How'd you do? His name is Corey. We played awful. I'm not a very good puzzle solver. But, you know, some luck. It's better to be lucky than good. Yeah. And we actually won $15,700 on the show. How much does the government take? Yeah. They're $10.99, so that's to be determined. Yeah. There you go. Good for you. But as a savvy business owner, we will get that number as close to zero as possible. There you go. Nice. Congrats. But yeah, Wheel of Fortune was awesome. There's certainly no cheating, and some people are just really good at it. My wife is great. Yep, mine too.
But yeah, it aired about three months ago. Sweet. Right on, dude. I'd like to give a shout out to Fiji Yogurt. I am the owner of Fiji Yogurt. It's delicious self-serve frozen yogurt. I love yogurt. Where is it at? We're in Hillcrest, Linda Vista, right next to USC. We're out in Mission Gorge. Feel free to bring some in anytime. Yeah, anytime you want to bring some in. Maybe I will bring some in. Maybe at like 10. Yeah, like 9.50. We all get a taste. Perfect. About 10 minutes, yeah, right now. Love it. But absolutely, I will bring some down to the station one of these days. Killer. I like carob chips. But yeah, Wheel Fortune's awesome. You can't be on if you don't apply, so just go to the website and say, please, please, please. Thank you, man. Nice. All right, have a good day, guys. You too. Same thing happened with my wife getting tickets to Ellen. She went on the website, filled out tickets, filled out a form, and they called her. Rad. Nice. Said you can come on the show. I got that too. You did? But I had to go in the riffraff room, which is like the extra room, so I was like, ah, screw this. You didn't even get to see her dance down the aisle. No. I didn't go.
I need to burn that onto a CD. It's gorgeous. Because I cannot, I physically can't get enough of it. M1 Wheat Thick sent me the ringtone. Oh my gosh. Brilliant. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. So, Hillary, what do you got coming up? Oh, I grabbed New Interpol, Mumford & Sons, The Raconteurs, The Smiths, and some Company of Thieves who are playing this Saturday night. By the way, Mikey, practice was really fun with you Friday night. I was terrified. Terrified. Terrified. Terrified is the word. You really were? Oh, yeah. I was terrified. Even though it was just us? Yep. Yeah. In fact, I couldn't face you. I noticed that. He's pretty fun when he comes out of his little turtle shell. You did great. And in fact, we practiced yesterday and everybody was talking about how good you did. Really? How you nailed it. Good job, dude. That's so nice. Good job. We'll be performing this weekend. It was awesome. Oh my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. You just walked in and delivered. The guy's like Scott Weiland. He just walks and delivers. I've never got to do anything like that in my life, and it was really fun. And the band is good. They're really good. We're not messing around. No, there is no messing around. It's for real, and they're good. And tickets are still available if you want to go. Fourth and B this weekend. It's Saturday night, November 13th. We're talking about the FM 94.9 8th Anniversary Bash. And, yeah. the FM 94.9 house band will be playing and doing it up real good. Proud of you. So I'm very scared and nervous, but it's going to be fun. All right, the lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it all over again. The Mikey Show's out.