The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/11/10

1:39Let's hear it for our men and women in the military, especially in a town like San Diego. Today is a very special day all throughout the United States. But on a day like today, man, here in San Diego, where we have so many service men and women, my dad, you know, one of them was one of them and was stationed here in San Diego. And so today is a really cool day for our city. Like I said, I know that today in Des Moines, Iowa and in New York City and in Tallahassee, Florida, they are really, you know, feeling today. But it's different here in San Diego. And it's always been different here in San Diego because of what a military town we are. Thank you. Thank you to all the servicemen and women in San Diego that do the cool stuff that you do for us. I'm really glad.

2:52that today is Veterans Day. We go through every single day of our lives. We drive, we commute. We probably don't really think about it. And then on a day like Veterans Day, we get to go. Do a lot for us. Do a lot for us. Would you ever get that thing, man, where you're either landing in San Diego, the plane's flying in, or you're driving to the airport, and you see those aircraft carriers, and you just go, that is badass. You know, I'm... Fairly new here still, and every time I leave, it's that same feeling. Jamie and I were driving back from L.A. last week, and we saw this truck. And they were driving down the freeway, and there were all these soldiers inside of it. And they were just sitting there, full gear.

3:44And Jamie leans across and gives him a thumbs up. And the guys all looked at us, gave him a thumbs up. I gave him a fist pump. I love it. It was awesome. I love that. It was awesome. You know, my mom was born here because my grandfather was stationed here. Really? He's a veteran as well. Yep, my mom was born in San Diego. That's so cool. My dad was stationed at Camp Pendleton before he went to Vietnam. That's right. You said that. That's so cool, man. I mean, one way or another, we all know somebody that was... active or former military. And it's just really cool, man. Today's Veterans Day. And we just want to say thank you to everybody that does what they do in our military here in San Diego. By the way, our phone number is 570-1949. If you want to give us a call, you can. And we'd love to talk to you, especially if you're... A member of our military. And Sienna's going to be telling you in just a second about all the things that are open and that are closed today on Veterans Day. Most kids are not going. A lot of kids are not going to school. Public schools are off. Public schools off. I'm not sure about all the private schools. So we'll talk about that. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 and wearing a polo pullover today, which I rarely do. But, you know, today I figured it was a special day and I should wear.

5:01My polo pullover. It's not a pullover. It's not a pullover. It's not a pullover. What is it? It's a collared shirt. It's a collared shirt. What do they call these? Collared shirt. Collared shirt. It's just a polo shirt. I would just call that a polo. Yeah. What is a pullover? Sweater. I think sweater, yeah. It is? Or like in golf, that v-neck that they put on. No, I wouldn't even call that a pullover. It's a pullover. Oh, is that nice? I thought it was a sweatshirt. Yeah, it's like fleece. If it's like a sweater. And it's V-neck. I would call that a pullover. Just call that a sweater. No. That's a sweater. In golf, they have that weird material, and it's a V-neck. That's what I should say. You put it over that collared shirt. Yeah, you put that over that. Yeah. That's a pullover. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35, and he's got on a real sharp button. What do they call it? Pearl snaps. Yeah, it's a nice shirt. I like it. Thank you. L-O-B is... She could be a first lady right now with that. Definitely be a first lady. It's a little bright. Right? I have a turquoise pea coat. Yeah. Tiny little pea coat on. Love pea coats. Yeah. And Lauren's our assistant producer. She's 29. And Sienna is the gorgeous girl sitting to my left right now. And she's got on a sweater. Always have on a sweater. She's always got on a sweater. And a floral print. And a floral print. I'm very colorful today. And if you're new listening to The Mikey Show.

6:24They don't just run in the family. They gallop. They gallop. They gallop. We need a clip. Clop noise. Jay is our producer, and he is 47 years of age. Our phone screener today. It was crap. Jay's got a button down on it. He looks pretty sharp, too. Everybody's sharped up today. I don't know why. I want to stand up to him in shorts. Let's see. M1 Ian is calling in from the SDSU area. Ian, tell everybody what an M1 is. An M1 is that someone who gets to the point does not curse. That's right, man. You turn your radio down when you call and you get right to your point. What's going on, man? Oh, nothing. Just calling. I'm listening to you guys' show. I'm in the military. It is Veterans Day, and I have to get up and work this morning. Oh, look at that. Bogus. Go get a donut or something. Treat yourself. That's right. Treat yourself. And thank you for what you do, man. Absolutely. Thank you, guys. Thank you for what you do, because without the morning talk show, I don't really think I could survive on my trip to work. Yeah. Well, thank you, bro. I appreciate it.

7:43You guys have a good one. All right, you too. M1 Dogbait from IB. What's up? What's up, Mikey Show? Not too much, man. No, I just wanted to call and thank you also for just whenever I hear you guys talk to a military guy on the radio, you guys just get stoked and want to know more about the military. And I thank you for the interest. Yeah. And I just want to thank the families also. Man, that's right. For sure. Huge sacrifices. That's a big deal for a military person is a good family background. Yep. Thank you, dude. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, thanks to you guys. Thanks, man. Thank you. You know, I'm still like a little kid sometimes when I see military folks in the airport. Uh-huh. And I'm still like, I give them like, I give them like the, I smile like that. And I try to give them like the, thank you, man. You know, that whole thing. You know, nothing looks cooler. Nothing looks cooler. You see a person in uniform, man. You're a badass. I do feel that. And I have this instant respect. Instantly. When you see it. There's something about a sharp uniform. It's cool. My dad's in the Navy. I grew up in that. And my dad, I just always remember the smell of my dad's cologne, him wearing that uniform, and my dad standing up straight. And there was just something about it, man.

9:10And anybody that's had a parent that's in the military, you know that. You know that feeling. In fact, my friend Terry, he's a Marine, and he's a staff sergeant. And he'll meet me for lunch sometimes. And he walks in, and he's a sharp dude anyway. But he walks in, he's wearing that uniform. And this guy, he teaches other guys how to stand up straight. He's a drill sergeant. Wow. He's a drill sergeant. And he teaches guys what to do. And he walks in and even I'm like, you know. Immediately sitting up. Yeah. Sir, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Napkin in your lap. For sure. 570-1949 is the number you want to call us. You want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. At 730 this morning, we are going to be discussing what we call fake bits. Okay? Now, you may have an idea of what you think a fake bit is, and we'll talk about it, but I'll give you a for instance. Global warming may be a fake bit to you. Maybe it isn't. Maybe you go, no way, global warming is real. But maybe somebody goes, yeah, right, fake bit. El Nino. El Nino. El Nino. Organic stuff. Oh, stop. Organic stuff. Organic stuff. So we'll discuss.

10:35And we want to hear yours, too. You can call us. You can text us. But we want to hear. There's going to be a fight. This is going to be a legend there. I just want to slit some throats. I know it. Ready for a duel. I know it. So get ready to call us with that. Oh, and also, I want to mention that today, you know how I've talked about Outside the Bowl, Cutlass is playing in here tomorrow, and the Cutlass concert and all that stuff. any of the San Diego Chick-fil-A locations. And they're in Sports Arena, Chula Vista, Mira Mesa, Oceanside, and San Marcos. If you go there today and you say to the cashier, turn up the fight, they are going to make 20% of your order is going to go to feeding malnourished kids through outside the bowl. Can't beat that. So again, you say, turn up the fight.

11:39As in turn up the fight against world hunger. Say that at any of the San Diego area Chick-fil-A locations today when you make your order. And simply by saying it, you are going to be helping to feed malnourished kids. through Outside the Bowl, and it's so cool that they got together with Outside the Bowl to do that. Love some Chick-fil-A. That's good. It's delicious. Okay, so, Sienna, what is open and what is closed today on Veterans Day? Well, all the courts in San Diego, city, county, and state offices are closed today for Veterans Day. Libraries, rec centers, pools in San Diego are closed. The Torrey Pines, Bubba Park, and Mission Bay golf courses are open, but there's holiday rates. So know that Balboa Park is open, but all the public buildings are closed in Balboa Park. San Diego County branch libraries are closed. County parks are open. There's no mail delivery today and garbage and recycling services are normal schedule. And doesn't it always gets me that the mail, I don't want the mail because I don't want junk mail yet. I want the mail. You know what I mean? I don't want bills.

12:46I feel like today's a win for me. No bills are coming to me today. Yeah, it's like winning the lottery when there's no mail in that mailbox. Yes! The word of the day is polka dot. The word of the day is polka dot. Sage was wearing polka dots yesterday. How about polka dot? Makes sense. So when you hear me say the word polka dot between now and 10 a.m., then you will win a few things. One. You're going to win a Snow Jam Ski and Snowboard Expo plus a $50 gift card. And that includes a lift ticket. Lift tickets. Lift tickets. Wow. It's $114 value on that. And you'll also get to go to the Body Art Expo at the San Diego Concourse. That's worth $44. And I've just decided I will also throw in a backstage pass to the Mikey Show on a Friday. Killer. Priceless. It literally has no value that can be assigned to that. You can't quantify a value to it because it's so incredible. Yeah. You'll get to meet all of us, hang out. You'll get to have a catered breakfast. You'll get a laminated backstage pass. And a lanyard. And a lanyard. And we'll even throw in a be different wristband when you come in. Nice. So pretty cool. Anyway, that's the deal.

14:14I broke my... I broke my... I think you stepped on it yesterday. I did. I did. I'm so clumsy. Now your system is all screwed up. It's this clipboard that holds all his papers. You hear about Merriman? Oh my gosh. With Merriman. He's a Buffalo Bill now. This happened last week. He became a Buffalo Bill. As soon as he got healthy, the Chargers released him. Most exciting day of his life. Oh, I'm a Bill. I'm an 0-8 or 0-7 Bill. Oh, man. So what's the latest, Woodsy? Oh, well, yesterday was his first practice, and everybody was really excited to have lights out on the field. You know, the team has not won a game, the Bills. And they're like, you know, any time you get a player of Sean Merriman's caliber. It's going to be great for our defense. He runs 3-4. He's going to fit right in. That's why they have the word game changer. Yes. Well, his first practice lasted 10 minutes. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. 10 minutes. Oh, wow. He was tired? He hurt himself in an individual drill. Oh, gosh. Oops, sorry. Okay. So there was no contact? There was no contact, and he wasn't, you know,

15:35on the side with the defense. He was by himself. Running suicides. He was dropping back. He pivoted to his left and he pulled up and began hopping on one leg. They're saying right now it's a strained lower right leg. According to Chan Gailey, who's the head coach, nothing major, but it will prevent him from playing in his first game this week. Lights out, pal. Maybe take an Advil. I wonder what's going on. What is his deal? I wonder what Mike Singletary would do if that was him. If Mike Singletary was that linebacker or if Ray Lewis was that linebacker. I wonder if that guy would have come out. Really? So you think, see, because I go, well, if it's a dude that's real tough, then the only thing that can keep him out is that it hurts so bad you can't play. You say no. I don't buy it. It's a strain. It's a strain.

16:35Or is that what they're saying? That's what their coach said. He said it's a strain. So he will not make his... It's possible it's worse and they're saying it's a strain. Maybe. I mean... Because they don't want the... Since they're, like, really in the running right now to be one of the top teams in the league. I don't know. It's, you know, they're also saying, listen, he hasn't practiced in about a month, so maybe that has something to do with it. He's not in apparently very good football shape. Yikes. What is going on? I mean, I would be embarrassed if I were him. I know. I would too. Oh, yeah. That's like, come on, man. Yeah. Yeah. I follow him on Twitter. He hasn't said a word. No. I played kickball a couple years ago. And I was like all rusty. I hadn't played in a little while. And I came like, you know, I bunted it. And I came right off down the line for first base. Pulled my hamstring just in the middle of running. I was like, ah! Fell over. And I was like, that's what happens when you're cold. I mean... Bit of a difference between you and Sean Merriman, I think. It's kind of similar. It's kind of similar. I think it's the same. But at the same time... It's like apples and pears, sort of. Yeah. Like similar, but a little different. It's like caca and chocolate, you know? It's like totally the same, but way different. But way different. But cocoa and chocolate. Coco and... Well... Not caca. Okay. So yeah, Merriman's out. And then that cruise ship. Yep.

18:03That's out in the middle of the ocean. The Carnival Splendor. What's the matter with it? Well, okay, here's what happened. They were going on a seven-day trip to the Mexican Riviera, and they boarded up over by L.A., and so there's 4,500 people aboard, and they're... They're going heading south. Yeah. A fire breaks out on the cruise ship. Oh, my God. An engine fire the first day on. Oh, never good. I believe it was Monday. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, and so they were able to get the fire out. Everyone's okay. No one's been hurt. There were some panic attacks. But since Monday, today's Thursday, they have been stranded out there, and there's no air conditioning. There's no hot water. There's no hot food. They do have working toilets in cold water. And so they have drinks and stuff like that. But people have had to go out in other boats bringing them Spam and Pop-Tarts and things that they could eat without having, you know, power. Now, all the passengers, they're going to have to pay for these extra days they're getting on the boat for sure. They don't just get these extra days for free. Doesn't Carnival get sued like every week because of something that happens? My gosh. People get dysentery on those boats. Never.

19:14ever going on a cruise. Is it that bad, though? They just don't have hot water. Or air conditioning. Or AC. Air conditioning, dude. So, go up on the deck. Oh, my gosh. Is it that hot out at sea? Yeah, it's not that hot out at sea. But imagine, if you've ever been on a cruise ship, some of the rooms don't... like have windows they have little portholes and that's it there's no windows you can open there's nothing it's hot in there you sleep in a coffin yeah you're basically a giant coffin a tiny tiny coffin yeah they're in the titanic except that it's not uh well it's not sinking but it's also it's like being on the titanic in that titanic didn't have any of those things but they also they sailed in the winter time right yeah I feel so sorry for these people. They have a bed, they have cold water, and there's food. It's not bad. They have Spam and Pop-Tarts. That's not even considered food. There's people in Haiti that don't have, they're living in tents. It's all about perspective. He's pulling the Haiti card. It's all about perspective. You can't fight the Haiti card. I mean, once that card is pulled. You're like, you're right, I win. He brought a nuclear bomb.

20:15To a gunfight. He brought a nuclear bomb to a tickle fight. Yeah, to a tickle fight. So there's 4,500 people on this boat right now, and it's going to come into San Diego, the San Diego Bay, by dawn today. Wow. I think they're going to be happy to get off? Yeah. Oh, yes. No, they'll probably be like, hey, can we just chill out for a little while longer? No, let's stay longer. Let's stay longer. The cruise ship is being pulled by two tugboats as we speak. Oh, my gosh. You think the disco's still open at night? Oh, I'm sure. I bet you it is. Yeah, because there's still alcohol. I'm sure they're still boozing pretty good. Oh, yeah. That's the only thing that they can offer. They can be like, hey, guys. All you can drink. It's all you can drink now. Let's get hammered, everybody. Oh, wow. This is cold. Whoa. All right. Let's see what else I got for you. Oh. Yes. Hugh Hefner. We're going to tell you about Hugh Hefner here in just a second. First, M1 Steve from Encinitas. Go ahead. Hey, guys. I got a question. I got raccoons just going ape in my yard. They completely nuked my lawn. First, I came out, and they were, like, digging little holes, eating a couple grubs. I kind of let them slide.

21:27It's just a frat party. Oh, no. How many? I don't know. I haven't spot them. I just see the evidence. What do you mean? What do they do? They put trash everywhere. No, they rip up the lawn looking for little grubs. Oh, boy. This is a question for Jay. Yeah, I'm like, Jay, what do you do? I'm like, Jay, what do I do? Well, it could be skunks as well because skunks do the same thing. They do. Oh, yeah, they do. But what I did was I got a live trap. Gee. No. Yeah, it's a live trap. A live trap. It doesn't kill them. It just traps them. Okay. Although sometimes you want to. Live trap and just put it out in the yard and bait it. Peanut butter works great. So does sardines. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And then, but the only thing is if you catch a skunk, you have to be really smart about, you know. Not getting sprayed. Big blanket. Hold a big blanket up in front of yourself. Walk over to the trap. Throw it over it. pick the trap up, and then I just go and release them in somebody else's backyard. Oh, wow, Jay. I can see catching a raccoon, but catching a skunk, you're going to have to give me your number because I'm going to have you come over. Hey, I wonder if he's saying that he thinks that it's more than one. He don't think that it's just one. Oh, it's for sure. They travel in their packs. So you have to just keep trapping them over and over and over? No, no, you just haul them away far enough. They won't come back.

22:47I throw them in the car and drive. Yeah, but what I'm saying is that you can only catch one at a time, right? Yeah, you catch one at a time. Sometimes you catch two at a time. Isn't there a whole bunch of these critters that are causing this problem? Or is it just one offender? Maybe if you make an example out of one of them. Then they don't come back. I can't imagine driving in my car with a trap with a raccoon in the back. Oh, my God. That's all you want to trust. Guns are much worse. I guess. Hey, thanks for the call, and good luck with that, man. Thanks for the advice. So Hugh Hefner has turned into Willy Wonka, and what is he doing? This is my favorite story of the day. I'm just going to throw that out there. Oh, boy. What is it? So Hugh Hefner's decided to, yeah, be like Willy Wonka, and he's hiding 10... golden tickets to his Midsummer Night's Dream Party. Now, this is like the biggest party of the year at the Playboy Mansion. And these golden tickets are hidden in...

23:49200,000 copies of the December issue of Playboy. Now, just know that this magazine hits newsstands tomorrow. So it's the December issue of Playboy. In there, you want to look for a golden ticket. You're not going to find all 10, obviously. If you get a golden ticket to the Midsummer Night's Dream Party, you're going to be flown out to L.A. and you're going to be put up at the Posh Petit Hermitage Hotel. You're going to get a free dinner at an upscale restaurant, Simon L.A. It's probably Simone L.A. or something like that. But then you're going to get a ticket for two to go to this party. And there's going to be Playboy models there, Hollywood stars there. It's one of the biggest parties of the year. What a great, great idea. I'm all the way in. He should do this every year. If I win, Jay. Oh, man. Me and you. Me and you. I'm going to buy one tomorrow. I'm going to, too. Why would he have not done this before? Do you know how many more magazines he's going to sell? Yeah. I'm buying one. I'm going to. Jay and I are going to the Playboy Mansion mid-summer night stream party. I've been to the Playboy Mansion, but I haven't been in the house. But I have been to one of the parties before, and it's worth it. Wow, Sienna. You had any interest in that, Miguel? Yeah, I won't be buying a copy of that. What month were you in, Sienna? I was in January. The jugs of January? Oh, boy. Yikes.

25:08Yeah, I'm not a Playboy guy. If I won, you wouldn't feel bad if I took Jay and not you? It's just the articles, Mikey. No, I would not, Woods. You wouldn't? No. I don't want any part of the Playboy mansion. Me neither. I'll get it just with the pictures and not the articles. We're just putting it in his calendar right now. Mark it down. If you're new listening to The Mikey Show, it's not because I'm gay. Because if you're new listening to The Mikey Show, I'm sure plenty of you are like, Well, oh, so this guy must be gay. He's gay. Because he doesn't want to go to the Playboy match. Beautiful blonde wife. Yeah, I have a wife that I would rather keep my eyes on her than looking at other girls that would get into my thought life and lead me away from that. So, anyway. I would go. I would take my wife. I would go. I'd take your wife. I went and I did not bring my husband. I brought a girlfriend. I love you, Todd. That makes my mouth water. I actually believe that that would be true because it's the only way that you would be allowed to go. There's no question. You would have to take your wife. I would have to take her. Yeah. And you'd still get a fight afterwards. No. You don't think so? We'd be good. We'd be good. She'd love it.

26:20You remember guys and some girls that are either Patriot, Giants, or Jets fans may remember the name Dave Meggett. Remember Dave Meggett? He was a big-time punt returner. Great player. Great player. Just got sentenced to 30 years in prison. Wow. And Woodsy's going to tell you why in Woods on Sports Next. And if you missed Hoyle singing... touch my body. You get to hear that too. And Jay. No, I didn't cry. Come on, man. On FM 94.9. Dave Meggett. This guy played in the NFL for about 10 years. And you probably remember that name, Dave Meggett. Well, he got sentenced to 30 years in prison yesterday. And Woodsy is going to tell you what he did. It's pretty scandalous. It's coming up. 7.30, we're going to be talking about things that you think are... What we call fake bits. And what that is, is, you know, like I say, I get a wheatgrass shot now every day. And I think it's a fake bit. I think it's doing a darn thing for me. So anyway, we'll talk about that. Stop. Word of the day is polka dot. Be listening for that if you want to get a backstage pass to the Mikey show. And also you'll get Snow Jam Ski and Snowboard Expo. $50 gift card to the Snow Jam Ski and Snowboard Expo. And lift tickets. Plus.

28:12admission to the Body Art Expo. So there's a big prize associated today with the word of the day. L.O.B.'s got on her little knit cap and it really looks like winter in here. I'm so cold. It feels like winter in here. I so see you on the side of the road on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C. watching a parade go by. Waving. Yes. I really do see that. She really, I mean, she has a knit beanie on and a peacoat. Yeah, and a peacoat. So, anyway, that's all coming up. We're going to be doing that. Yesterday, I was in here. Is it all right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, go ahead. I'm too late. I'm too late now. Is this operating? It's on oil. Well, y'all won't give me headphones, so I don't know. Why don't y'all invest? Meow. Yeah. He didn't really like you. Redneck. We bought our own headphones. You would think the station manager would maybe have a pair. Yeah. I'm going to tell you the truth. I talked to Rick R. Jackson yesterday. I said, listen, I know you think that Jay and Woods are talented and everything, but those two have got the thickest accents. Really? Southern accents.

29:39Oh, wow. Wow. We're both from Texas. What about LLB? She has a Jersey accent. True story. I don't hear a Jersey accent. Really? But you hear a Southern accent in my voice. Thick Southern accent. Yeah. Thick Southern accent. Yeah, thick Southern accent. That's right. Y'all going to play my masterpiece? It ain't mixed down, but... It ain't mixed down yet, but it will be. We're going to make it right. I'm talking about the Mariah Carey... Touch my body. You're not even embarrassed. You're really proud of it. You love it. Yesterday he was. Well, I mean, I am proud of it, but I will be more proud of it when it's mixed. It ain't properly mixed. What are you going to do with it once it's mixed? Put it on the internet. For your listening pleasure? I'm going to sell it on iTunes. Nobody's buying that. Piece of garbage. $1.29. No. Trust me. The only person that's going to buy that is your mama. Is your mama. True. I'll sell it for 99 cents if you don't want the rights to it, but for $1.29, you'll be able to burn it as many times as you want, give it to friends, whatever. You ready? Yeah. All right, let's give this a shot. Oh, well. This is very raw. Very.

30:53Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that you've been waiting for it. I'm waiting, too. In my imagination, I'll be all up in you. I know you got that fever for me, hundred and two. Boy, I know the feel the same, the temperature's due. And if that camera up in here, then I'm going to meet me, and I do. I do. And if the cameras up in here, then I best knock at you, baby. You do. You do. Cause if you run your mountain bag about the secret rendezvous, I will hunt you down. Cause baby, all of my goodness, I can win the interview. But this is private. But thank you, Ryan. My body. Put me on the floor. Wrestle me around. Tell me some more. Touch my body. Throw me on the bed. I just want to make you feel like you never did. Touch my body. Let me wrap my ride. I'll open your waist. I got that part wrong. Just a little taste. Touch my body. I imagine him bouncing right now. You don't know it. This is the part where I...

32:04I was struggling to find the lyrics because I had them in front of me on note cards. That was the only part. And that's where this part got sketchy. You know, I see there's a couple of different voices that you're using there, Hoyle. You have your normal voice, which sounds like a hick. And the Asian girl. And then the Asian girl. Asian guy. Are you doing like a mash-up? A fusion. A fusion? An Asian fusion? What I do, I wouldn't expect you to understand, because it's professional recording. This is how you do it. What you do is you run through it a few times. You do different takes. You use the parts. They're called work parts. Okay. And you use the parts that you want when you go back over it. And you just mash them all together. Well, you use whatever came out best. Well, it's supposed to sound seamless, though, and it sounds like just a couple different people. Yeah, I think it sounds seamless. No, it does not sound seamless. It's to the ear of the beholder. You know what I mean? It's to the ear of the beholder. Four against one, so. Listen, y'all. You don't know music like I know it. Don't we? I know it sounds like junk. I play guitar. I play music. I used to work with Johnny Cash. Oh, my God. No, you didn't know it all. Not.

33:16The Johnny Cash that did the music. John E. Cash. John E. Cash. Middle name is like Evan. Yeah. Who was he? Overnight guy in Mobile? That's right. I think I've heard of him. Good guy. Oh, you can put me in a... I'm going to get it. I just... I tried it again, and when we did the second take, it actually sounds a lot better. I can't get my Asian man. I can't get... See, that's the Asian part gave me trouble. I want to sing it like that kid, but I just... How many times did you Z-snap during this? For whatever reason. Take it from the top. Let's try it from the top. I think this one's a better take. The second time around, I think I got it a little better. Oh, that's too soon. Not really. Here we go. I know that you've been waiting for it, I'm waiting too. In my imagination, I'll be all up on you. I know you got the favor for me, 102. I know I feel the same and then the temperature too. And if the camera's up in here, then they're gonna leave me when I do. I do. And if the camera's up in here, then I best not catch it on YouTube.

34:26Yeah. Thank God. Thank God. That's better. It's so skeevy when he says touch my curb. And he says thighs. I didn't have any clothes on when I recorded that. That's disgusting. Weren't you here? Inspiration. Yeah, I took my clothes off in the lobby late at night. No one was here. It was alright. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I'm going to get to that Dave Meggett story in a second. Do not miss this story. It is insane. First, though, for all you fantasy football nerds like me, Mike, and L.O.B., make sure to set your lineups today because there is an NFL game tonight. Oh, wow. It is the Ravens and the Falcons. They're taking on each other. This should be a really, really good game. Both teams are six. It's like a game for the birds. Yeah, absolutely, L.O.B.

35:57Wow. Both are 6-2. And, you know, the Thursday night game is not a real popular thing for these NFL players. They just finished playing on Sunday, and they got to play tonight. Ray Lewis especially does not like it. Cut one. Hang on. Hi, this is Ray Lewis. I don't like Thursday night games. They're not my favorite. It says Rivers, but maybe that's it. Oh, what happened? If you question both teams, you're going to find way more players that say they don't like that game than like it. I mean, it's just. It's just a very, very, very fast turnaround. Yeah, it's really, really quick for those guys, man. So that actually is going to be a really good game. Like I said, the Falcons are leading the NFC South, and the Ravens are leading the AFC North. So this is going to be a good, good game. Ray Lewis is going to get out there and kill it. Oh, boy, L-O-B. Randy Moss. What's the matter, you people? I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one?

36:58Just relax already. Crying out loud. Proving not guilty, you know. But you root for Michael Vick. I do too. Randy Moss. He practiced with his new team, the Tennessee Titans, yesterday. And this is his third NFL city this season, which is pretty crazy. And he can become. the first player in NFL history to catch a touchdown pass with three different teams in the same season. Really? Yeah, if he catches a touchdown pass from Vince Young, which is pretty crazy. And here he is talking about why it didn't work out in Minnesota and how he feels cut to. I feel good about the acquisition of Coach Fisher getting me here. The process of getting here has been kind of crazy, but I left a lot of good friends, a lot of good guys in Minnesota. You know, I'm sorry it didn't work out. But, you know, the show must go on. You know, I keep saying time and time again, this is a business. Yeah, and that game, by the way, the Thursday night game is at 520 local time on the NFL Network. Sweet. Yes, sir. All right, here's the story Mike mentioned before the break. This is the one that I read this yesterday and I had to stop. I didn't know that this guy had ever been in any trouble. But if you remember, Dave Meggett was a really, really solid player.

38:131,700 yards rushing in his career, 3,000 yards receiving in his career. Yeah, that's the one thing you remember about Dave Meggett was watching him every time. They kicked off to Dave Meggett. You held your breath because the guy was likely to take the thing to the house every time. Yeah, he played for the Giants. That was really where he was most known. And then probably the Patriots as well. He was a good player there and then had a year with the Jets. But this guy has some serious, serious issues. In 1998, which I did not know, he was arrested in Toronto after he allegedly assaulted an escort worker after a three-way sexual encounter. Oh, wow. The trial ended in a hung jury. Nothing really happened there. Then later, he was working as a parks and recreation director in North Carolina. He resigned after he was accused of sexually assaulting his former girlfriend. Then he was convicted of misdemeanor sexual battery in 2007. He was put on probation. So this guy's a sex offender, basically. And now he has been convicted on criminal sexual conduct and burglary. So he is doing...

39:1630 years in prison. Wow. That is so crazy, man. Yeah. And then finally, the National League announced their gold glove selections yesterday. Bronson Arroyo from the Reds won for the pitching department. Catcher Yadier Molina from the Cardinals. First baseman, Albert Pujols for the Cardinals. Second baseman, Brandon Phillips. Third baseman, Scott Rowland. Shortstop, Troy Tulewitzki. Outfielder Shane Victorino from the Phillies. There you go, LLB. Outfielder Michael Bourne for the Astros. And Carlos Gonzalez from the Rockies won his first. There you go. And that's what's on sports. By the way, in just a minute, we're going to be doing, is there anything worse then? And it's, would you give us an example of, is there anything worse then? Is there anything worse than when you're trying to go to sleep and somebody's car alarm? won't turn off in your neighborhood. That's a great example. And there is literally nothing you can do. It's those little moments in your life that you're like, are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding? So if one of these just happened to you, or you have one that you want to tell us, you got an anything worse than, give us a call, 570-1949. First, yesterday, apparently George Bush, because he...

40:34has a new book out, which, by the way, Sienna, this thing sold like a gajillion copies. Over 200,000 copies on the first day. Wow. First day. So Bush's book is selling like mad. Memoir. He's kind of making the rounds, you know? Well, anyway, he was on the Today Show yesterday, and Matt played him the clip of Kanye West apologizing for saying George Bush does not care about black people. One of the subjects that's gotten the most attention in the last couple of days is what you write about Kanye West and what he said about you after Hurricane Katrina. He stopped by to see me yesterday. Oh, really? And I want to play you a small portion of what he said because he seems to have changed his tone rather dramatically. I would tell George Bush in my moment of frustration, I didn't have the grounds to call him a racist. But I believe that in a situation of high emotion like that. We as human beings don't always choose the right words. And that's why I'm here. He seems to have regret. What's your reaction to that? I appreciate that. It wasn't just Kanye West who was talking like that during Katrina. I cited him as an example. I cited others as an example as well.

41:53You know, I appreciate that. But you called his comment a low point, and one of the things you and I have spoken about a lot over our conversations over these past couple of weeks is your faith. Does your faith allow you to forgive Conway West? Oh, absolutely. Of course it does. And I didn't, you know, I'm not a hater. I didn't hate Conway West, but I was talking about it. Conway West. Wow. He's just like, I'm not a hater. I ain't no hater player. And, you know, I also try to keep in mind, don't hate the player, hate the game. Hate the game. Environment in which people were willing to say things that hurt. And nobody wants to be called a racist if in your heart you believe in equality of race. How could he be so heartless? Now, Matt, I ain't saying he's a gold digger. That's not what I'm trying to say. Conway. No, President Bush, that's Conway Twitty that you're thinking of. It's Kanye West. I don't Twitter at all. I don't know what you're talking about. I thought it was Kanye Twitty. No, no. It's Kanye West, Conway Twitty. Twitty. Yes. See, and I didn't even think it. I made a mistake on national television last week, and I didn't say the word Twitty, and I got in a lot of trouble for that. Absolutely. I got in a lot of trouble for that. 570-1949 is...

43:11Our number. Is there anything worse than? We want to hear what your is there anything worse than's are. This is the worst. It's got to be. Crummy, crusty sheets. Crumbs in your sheets. Whether it's like bread crumbs. Oh my gosh. Cracker crumbs. Are you guys eating bad? Oh yeah. No. I do. But I am. extremely careful. Plus I have a big gut and so my t-shirt falls over my big gut and acts as a barrier.

43:52To the sheets. Yeah, so when I'm done eating, I just pull my T-shirt out, and I get out of bed, and I just dump it all on the carpet. Oh, man. And I brush it off like a pig. That's how my boobs work. They all fall right there. There's actually a little piece of a ham sandwich sticking right out. I was wondering where that was. It's a whole ham sandwich. It's like a piece of pepperoni. You know what I'm saying, though, man? Pull out a chicken leg. Jake will come home sometimes, and he'll take his shoes off. And he'll get in bed with his socks. He'll get in our bed with his socks that he's been in the playground. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. And so there's gravel and there's sand. All kids do that. I'm the worst. That really doesn't bother me that much because I'll walk around even outside barefoot and I'll go get in bed. No! Oh, my God. I'm sorry. D-I-V-O-R-C-E. What's she supposed to do? Wipe them off. How about not go outside barefoot, too? I walk around. I live barefoot. Yeah, me too. Jamie and I had a house in Dallas. It was an older house. It was built in the 1920s, and it was all hardwood floors. That's like mine. At that time, we had four dogs. Gross.

45:04Literally, here was me before we went to bed. I would have to sit on the edge of the bed. I knew you were going to say that. I'd have to sit on the edge of the bed and scrub, like wipe my feet off. The hair? No. Like sand and dirt and hair. I'm like, ugh. We'd have to do it. And I'd hear her. I'd be in bed before her, and I'd hear that noise of that, like, from her wife and her feet. I just get on my knees and rub my feet together real good. Oh, man. It drives me nuts. I just hop right in bed. I wipe them out. I'm sorry. I know, but whatever. It turns your bed into a litter box. Yeah, but you wash your sheets like every week. My husband hates it. I mean, and I roll in the bed and I pull the fitted sheet up and he's just, he's giving up. Mike, you probably can relate to this. Have you ever had your son? throw up in your bed in the middle of the night? I never have. Oh, in the middle of the night. Oh, wait. Yeah, we did, but I didn't take care of it. Weird. You have to start all over again. All the covers. You're like, where are the sheets? You ever have a dog poop in bed when you're trying to sleep? I have.

46:03You have? I've rolled over, and Jamie has rolled over on a little turd before. That would be the end of the dogs in bed for me. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. A turd in our bed. Good thing she woke up. That's how I know my wife's going to be really good with kids. She's like, it's just a turd. Peels it off her arm. What's that old trick? You blamed it on the dog? Yeah, blamed it on the dog. Pills it off her arm. M1 Monkey Butt from Rancho San Diego. You there? nothing worse than what uh heading out to a restaurant looking forward to that steak dinner and order yourself a medium or well done steak you get it looks beautiful you cut into it still red on the inside oh yeah that's that is rough i have to eat it because i can't send food back yep i would send it back i do not send stuff back either you would rather get like E. coli? Yes. You're not going to get E. coli from a rare steak. What do you get from that? Salmonella? Something. You get something. No. You don't. You can't eat raw meat. Yeah, you can eat raw meat. You cannot. You can eat raw steak. You can eat rare steaks. They wouldn't serve them rare. You don't get E. coli from that. Then why don't they serve them rare? They do. They do. Not all restaurants will. A lot.

47:18Most restaurants will serve steak rare. There are restaurants... Burgers they won't, from what I've heard, but steak they will. Because I like my medium rare. I like mine a little bloody. Oh, I like mine a lot bloody. When I did eat steak, that's why they used to be just bleeding. Ew! Is there anything worse than not being able to find your keys? Every day of my life. Really? Every day of my life, I feel like I can't find my keys. I put them on the counter, but I don't know where they go. Does your wife move them? Probably. Probably. Yeah. No, she doesn't move them. I think she does. No, she doesn't. Call us. Call us and give us your... There's nothing worse than... Anything worse than making a list to the grocery store and then you get to the grocery store and you forgot your list. Or how about when you get to the grocery store or you send someone to go and they come back and they didn't bring the one thing you really wanted. I killed you. And you go, and the reason was is because as they were leaving, you go, oh, can you get blah, blah, blah? And they go, yeah. And then they come back and you go, oh, did you remember that? And they go, oh. They close their eyes. They close their eyes. And you're like, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. You're so upset. You're so mad. By the way, I'm just going to be really brutally honest. I never say.

48:45It's okay. I never do. I close my eyes too. They close their eyes and then I close my eyes and I put my head down. In disappointment. In disappointment. You've ruined my life. I wanted that ding dong so bad. That's what it was. More from the Mikey Show coming up. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pants. Pants. Oh. I don't know why percolated coffee tastes so delicious to me, but I love it. Fake bit. What? All right. Well, we'll find out what fake bits are. We're going to do fake bits at 730. It's stuff that a lot of people think, and you're just like, hey, a lot of people think it, but I think it's a bunch of BS. Yep. So we'll do that at 730. Word of the day is polka dot. So when you hear me say the word polka dot between now and 10 a.m., you've got to be caller number nine, and you will win.

50:11First of all, backstage pass to the Mikey Show on a Friday. But you'll also win Snow Jam Ski and Snowboard Expo tickets and a $50 gift card there and Body Art Expo tickets as well. Right now, we're asking you to call us with, is there anything worse than? Is there anything worse than? Is there anything worse than getting into your car to go to work? and realizing that you have to stop and get gas. Getting gas is the worst. Even leaving work. Yeah, really getting gas, period. Why do we all hate it? Mikey and I were going to go do something the other day, and he goes, okay, well, I'll meet you downstairs. And I go, shamefully. I go, I have to get gas before we go. And he looked at me like I just said. You're a monster. You're a monster, dude. And I go, I'm so sorry. Just meet me at the gas station. He goes. Oh, okay, great. I'll just meet you at the gas day. Happy birthday, pal. You know what we all should do? Everybody that works a steady schedule, they should be like, okay, Wednesday's my getting gas day or whatever it is because nobody likes to get it because it interrupts the flow. See, and what you just said, though, is part of what I hate about getting gas is that if you do one thing out of your normal routine,

51:35Or if you do a couple of things out of your normal routine, it throws your gas off. And then you got to get gas quicker than you normally get gas. And you're like, just getting gas is a beating. It always seems like such a beating. And then once I'm done, I'm like, that wasn't that bad. Why do I freak out? It kind of feels good to look at that needle that's buried on the F. You're like, oh, God. Full tango for days. Wouldn't it be great if you could keep it there? Oh, yeah. But then you look at the meter and you're like, oh, I drive a Suburban. It's $90 to fill it up. How about when you go to the gas station and you rent your car through the pump and then you're, it says, go see cashier. Oh, my God. I hate that. That's the last thing I want to do. You know what my solution to it is? Go to another pump. No, I text Rebecca. Why? I text her the price because it says go see cashier usually for me because it's not going to give me a receipt. And I need the receipt for the banking purposes. Sometimes it'll do it before you even pump. Yeah, that's what I did to me yesterday. What's with the new bit at the gas station? I guess it's not new, but when I see it, it's like somebody kicked me in my boys. What?

52:40Please enter your zip code. Yeah. When you put the card in, I want to make sure it's your credit card. It's if you do a credit card. Yeah, but I don't like that. I don't want to put my zip code in there. Better to do that than your PIN number for a debit card. I guess. I hate it. Is there anything worse than walking up and somebody left their receipt in there and you got to deal with their garbage? Oh my gosh, that's not a big deal. I don't want dealing with other people's garbage. Whatever. Please. I like to see what they spent. You're nosy. See, you like it because you're nosy. I'm like, oh, I got a good, my car is fuel efficient, so ha. You're like $85. I've never gotten a receipt. Ever. I do. Ever, ever, ever, ever. M1 Duntastic from PB. Hey, what's up, Mikey? Not too much, dude. Is there anything worse than what? Dude, is it going off like six times this morning? Absolutely. That's me. Are women bigger snoozers than men? No. No, I don't think so. I hit snooze six times every day. I'm not a snooze warm kind of guy. Me either. Oh, I am. I'm not in tour. Not with this job. I get up where I want to get up. She hit snooze. Dude, in all reality, give us a real number. Is it really that many? Yep. She's there. She's ready for work right now. I'm not joking. She hit it five times. Can I talk to her? Yeah. You want me to put her on? Yes, please. One sec. Here she is. Punky.

54:09Yeah. Punky. Hi, Punky. Hi, Punky. Punky. Hi, Mikey. How you doing? Oh, I'm great now that I snooze. Yeah. I hear you, sister. Question. Question. When the alarm goes off, I'm sure that if you have to get up at seven, you set the alarm for six so that you can snooze six times, right? Okay. My question is, why can you not set the alarm for seven and get up when it goes off? I love you, Mikey. Thank you. By the way, and I got to tell you, Duntastic, I'm talking to my wife, too, because she does it, too. You need to wake up slowly. Yes, agreed. I like to wake up slowly, and I like to listen to the Mikey show when I wake up. Well, it's fine that someone wants to wake up slowly, but all of us don't want to wake up slowly. Did you say I love you? You guys are awesome. That's fantastic. It's me, too, man, and it's Woods and his wife. It's me and my wife. Everyone does it. You know, we become snoozers right along with you. Yeah. My wife doesn't even hear my alarm clock go off. I wake up before the alarm goes off and turn the alarm off. Today I did. Yeah, I mean, that's just... Never. I'm with you, buddy. Never. I sleep with earplugs. I set my alarm 30 minutes fast.

55:30Okay? My alarm is 30 minutes fast. You mean your clock is 30 minutes fast? My clock is 30 minutes fast. Oh, my. Always. So it's, what time is it right now? It's 7.12. My clock at home says 7.42. Oh, wow. Yep. And then I hit snooze five times every morning, period. I may have a theory. What? Because I was a, I hit snooze a million times before, but now that I have a baby, no. Mike, you have kids. Jay has kids. Now you don't hit snooze anymore. Maybe once you have kids and you're like, I'm so alert. No, I don't snooze anymore because if I snooze once, I'm afraid that I'm going to hit the wrong button and go back to sleep. Oh, yeah. So, Punky. Yeah. Here's my question for you. If you hit the alarm six times, the snooze button six times, what is it about that sixth time that finally gets you motivated? Okay, it's kind of the trick I play in my mind. Like looking at the clock and it says, oh, it's 7.15, but I know it's actually 7 and I have to be at work in 30 minutes. You run out of time. You know how many times you can hit snooze and when you get to that last time, you're like, no, that's my last time. Do you know what my last time? Oh, absolutely. I know exactly how many times I can hit snooze. My last time every morning that I hit it is cuddle time.

56:49Really? It's cuddle time. You wake your wife up? She wakes up. But I reach over, and that's the last, I think it's nine minutes for snooze or eight minutes. Right. And that's cuddle time. We cuddle for that eight minutes, and then I go, all right, I'm up. And then I drop an F-bomb and get in the shower. Wow. Out of your mouth? Every morning, yes, out of my mouth. Same routine. I'm on my snooze. Say it again. Say it again. You can program the amount of time on that. What? That's dangerous. That is dangerous. I have nine minutes. Forget it. They're either seven or nine usually. Duntastic, I will tell you this, though, about your wife, Punky, that we can't stand it, and I'm on the same boat with you. You can't stand it. However, if it ever stopped and, you know, like she was on vacation or something or she was out of town or whatever. I'd be all out of whack. I'd be all out of whack. For sure. It wouldn't work out. I'm literally, I'm like that episode versus mental alarm. Yes, yes. That's my bit. Like I said, it's like, all right, I got to get up early, and I set my mental alarm, and that's how I get up. Yeah, it didn't work out too well for Kramer in that episode, by the way, so don't always rely on the mental alarm. I hear you, buddy. I hear you, buddy. I'm not Kramer. Duntastic and Punky, we love you, and thank you for calling. Hey, we love you guys, too. Thanks, guys. I love you. Oh, my gosh.

58:15Oh, wow. Every time it freaks me out. I wasn't expecting other mothers. I know. I wasn't either. My skin just crawled. Yeah. My stomach dropped. M1 Eric from OB. Are you there? M1 Eric from OB. Is there anything worse than what? Pushing into a stall for an urgent bowel movement without realizing there's no Twitter. Oh, that is awful. That is awful. What do you do? You do the waddle. Yeah, you waddle into the next stall. Until the bathroom's empty. Yep. Try the next stall. Yeah. Thank you for the call. Yeah, there is nothing worse than walking into a bathroom. Or is there anything worse than traveling and having to poop? No. You're traveling somewhere, you're driving somewhere, or pee. What if you're in a plane and you have to poop? Forget it. I don't know if that's ever happened. You start sweating and you know if you open that door there's going to be a... Like Bo Derek's going to be standing out in front of there waiting to come in. You're like, it wasn't me. It was the guy before me. I feel like all my process is shut down when I'm on a plane. I never can. I'm all jacked up after I travel in that department. I enjoy it. I enjoy air travel and I enjoy the process of eating the little air food. I like.

59:31You do? I do. You're the one. To you, it's big food. To you, it's a huge meal. To me, being on an airplane and getting food on the tray, it's such a different... Like you don't get this every day. And so even though it sucks, it's gross. And it is. You get that little hard roll. Yeah, little butter. You get the little butter that's rock solid hard because it came out of a freezer or something. But I like that experience. And I also like if there is an occasion that I have to go doo-doo at 30,000 feet because you just don't get to go into a little plastic stall all the time. Enclosures. I love little enclosures. I feel like everyone knows on the plane exactly what I'm doing. I'll never see them again. I'm fine with that. If you're in there longer than a minute, they're like, oh, easy. You're going to poop on the plane? Really? You couldn't wait. There's nothing worse than having seats by the bathroom. That would be my last flight. People leave it open. They do their business. I've never experienced that. I have. Several times. I was like Rosa Parks this last time. All the way in the back. All the way.

1:00:40I could not lean my chair back. It was the worst. When you're in the last row and you can't lean your seat back, that's the worst. It's anything worse than that. Being stuck on that. Let's see. Is there anything worse than renting a DVD? It skips. Oh, my God. I get so mad. So mad. Now, what is that? Is it hurt? Sadness? It's hurt. It's sadness, too. And it's part sadness, too. Sadness, because you want to see it. But I think about the guy that, because I still go to Blockbuster, I'm one of the five people, and the guy that checked me out on the counter, I'm like, it's his fault. Why did he do this? They knew it. They should offer something free, like two free rentals after that, because you have to go back. This doesn't work. What's worse is Netflix. Netflix is worse. What do you do? There's nothing you can do. That's why I was turned off the first time I joined Netflix. I was like, this is going to be great. And then the second one that I got, it skipped. And I was like, never again. Never again. You try to clean the disc as many different ways as you can. I got another one for you. Is there anything worse than customer service?

1:01:52No, there's nothing more. Telephone. Nope. I was just watching an episode of CBS this morning, and they said there was a woman that I guess does seminars and wrote a book about how bad it is to call customer service. And she does these seminars where she goes all around the country, and she speaks to gigantic ballrooms of people. She goes into a gigantic ballroom, and she says, raise your hand right now. If you have never had a problem with customer service on the phone, no, she said, as of yet, no one has ever raised their hand ever. Yeah. When you have to call and it's that outsourced, like press one. Yeah. Press one. They're like, thank you for calling Delta Airlines. Your whole time is 33 minutes. Yeah, it is. The absolute worst. Because, you know, you call, I do my credit cards and whatever, I pay those, and some weird ring happens, and then... Hello, this is Brad. May I help you? Hi, Brad. My name's Steve Woods. I just need to pay my credit card bill real quick. Oh, thank you, Mr. Wood. And are you having a wonderful day today? I am having a wonderful day, Brad.

1:03:09Oh, good. That is wonderful to hear. It is wonderful. Yeah, I need to get this credit card paid, though, because I'm a little bit over the limit. I just want to make sure I'm in good standing. I would love to help you with this today. Thank you for calling. You're welcome. And all I need to get from you is please to tell me, what problem are you experiencing? I just need to pay my bill. You need to pay your bill? I need to pay my bill. Okay. I would love to help you with this. It's the worst ever. I want to reach the phone and grab them around the throat. Well, you can't ever just pay your billets. Would you like to enroll in our payment protection plan? Would you like to upgrade to a gold member status? You have been selected for a two-minute survey after. We would greatly appreciate. Press one to play the survey. I want to just rip their script right in front of them and be like, now what are you going to do? Bring it. Improv. Oh my gosh. Can you do it? Wouldn't you love to take that script away? I'd love to walk into one of those call centers, just kick the door up and be like, all right, sons of bitches. Here I am. They're not much happier being there. This is Brad. Is there anything worse? Is there anything worse than being at the airport?

1:04:27and you're taking Southwest Flight 805. Don't do it. Please don't do it, Mike. And you here. Don't do it. Attention, Southwest Airlines passengers, Flight 805. Oh, no. And you're waiting. Babe, that's us. Everybody be quiet. Shut up. Shut up. Wait, wait, wait. Babe, hang on. Shut up. Hold on. And it seems like an hour before they say. Yep. Attention, Southwest Airlines Flight 805 passengers. Okay, that's us, babe. That's us. Shut up. Shut up. We're experiencing a delay from our flight in from Las Vegas. As soon as we hear from the flight tower in Las Vegas, we'll let you know exactly.

1:05:09when you'll be departing. Right now, your departure time is 1.20 p.m., and we're estimating that you will not have to wait long and that you'll be departing at 2.20 p.m. Oh, we're going to miss our connecting flight. And you know what that means. You know that means 3 o'clock. 3 o'clock. What about this bit? That happened to me both ways this time. At the gate, too. The gate change? The gate change. That's where I thought he was going. The gate change slays you. Slays you. You're like, oh, my God, we've got to get to the terminal city. Especially in Dallas. In Dallas. the worst. You just hiked a football field to one gate and they move you to another gate. Get on a train. It's the worst. Mike, do that one more time, the announcement thing. Imagine, Sienna and Woods, you guys are waiting to listen to your announcement. Attention, Southwest Airlines flight 805 passengers. Okay, babe, that's us. This is also an attention When you walk up to the counter at like whatever whatever

1:06:21Excuse me, I didn't quite hear that. There were five people. Sir, you're going to need to stand back right now. Can you just wait? We're dealing with this. L.O.B., how about this? You be the same lady, and you're giving the update on Flight 805, and this guy is sitting next to you. Attention, Southwest passengers traveling on Flight 805. Oh, babe, that's us. That's us, yeah. What did she say? I didn't hear you! Say it again! Ma'am, could you repeat what you just said? Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, we'll be addressing all questions just in a few minutes. I'm going to need you to stand back. Do I need to go to another gate? Are we delayed? Is there a delay? Sir, we can wait behind the rope. How natural does an L.O.B. look with that megaphone? Oh, I know. I know. I'm never flying again. Holy cow. I hate the airport. Oh, it's the worst. I get so, when that double talk starts, I'm like, hey, hey, what do I listen to? I hate cell phone guy in the airport, too. I hate cell phone guy.

1:07:33Hey, did you close that deal? You did, you son of a bitch. You got it, didn't you? You closed it. Man, you are a closer. You're like, cell scream. Loud cell phone guy. Mr. Loud cell phone guy in the airport. You got to let everybody know what a baller you are and what your company is doing. Yeah, you want to go, I get it, dude. You're really awesome at work. You're killing it. Yeah. M1 Messenger, if you're still there. Are you still there, M1 Messenger? Yeah, I'm still here. I love yours. Give it to me. All right. Well, first of all, real quick, when you guys said the gas station one, I was at the gas station. Just dying. I'm so sorry. Yeah. And it was unexpected. I was like, crap. Oh, it's the worst. Anyways, that's happened to me the other day. I was on hold on my lunch break at work with, I don't know, one of the bill establishments or something in my bank. And I was on hold for 35 minutes. Oh, my God. I got disconnected. Hello?

1:08:33Oh, my God. That just gave me anxiety. That just gave me anxiety. That just gave me anxiety. I had to call back the next day, and luckily it didn't happen again, but I was pretty... Oh, that's so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it goes... You can file it under things that make us feel like we're just grown-up little kids. When I went to vote the other day, they give you a sticker that says, I voted. And... The guy forgot to offer it to me. And I didn't want to go, can I have my sticker? But I wanted that sticker so bad. I wanted my sticker. And so I kind of just sort of hovered. I know your hover. I did my hover. I did my hover. And I just sort of like. And Rebecca was, I know Rebecca was like, where are we going? Hands stuffed in both pockets. Yeah. Teetering on your feet. Yep. Kind of teetering. And he goes, oh, by the way, you get a sticker. And I was like, oh, oh, really? Like, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, I guess I'll take one. I'll take one. I love that sticker. I'm interrupting this broadcast to tell you.

1:09:54Ella B., you get your contacts fixed? No, not exactly. I got a new pair, but they're bothering the heck out of me. Really? Mm-hmm. Is it not your regular prescription? No, they're trying a different kind, and they're driving me nuts. Are you seeing all polka dots right now? No, it's just more like a little bit of a fog. Not so much the polka dots. 5701949 is our number. Let's see. Oh, we're going to be talking about, call us right now, by the way, if you have fake bits. Stuff that you are like, yeah, everybody does this, but I don't believe in it. And I think it's a bunch of hooey. Global warming. Maybe you think that. Maybe you think it's hooey. Maybe you think that wheatgrass juice, which I get every day. Yep. Just ordered some. Yeah, just ordered some. Maybe you think that's a bit.

1:11:17Call us if you have those, 570-1949. Let's see. What's going on in news, Sienna? Well, California has tied with Massachusetts and New Jersey for having the highest credit score in the nation. Yeah, the three states had an average credit score of 684 and the national average is 666. That surprises me. Yeah. That shocks me. San Diego County was near the top of the list for major metropolitan areas with a score of 686. Wow. So we're doing pretty good over here. Robert Gates issued a statement yesterday talking about the quote unquote missile that was seen by L.A. on Monday. The White House press secretary? Yep. Yeah. We know the missile that everyone said. Was there a missile? What is this contrail that everyone was seeing on Monday? Well, he says that it wasn't from a missile. It was from an aircraft. No, listen. I saw that headline the other day. Does that look like an airplane trail? I have a picture of it right now. It looks like it's from a missile. It's a huge contrail. Probably a UFO. Dude. Maybe if the airplane started on the ground and went straight up like a rocket. Yeah.

1:12:22And you know what they were trying to say? They were trying to make it like, well, it's just that point of the horizon that makes it appear to be S. Shooting straight up and it's thick. It ain't an airplane. It ain't an airplane. I'm testing something that they don't want us to know about. Yeah, guaranteed. That's right. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the Padres may be seeing a little more of an old friend next year, Trevor Hoffman. Wow. Not here in San Diego. In the division, he may be the new closer for the Arizona Diamondbacks. Their new general manager, Kevin Towers, says that he'd be crazy if he didn't at least consider him. He had a really rough start. But after the break, saved 22 games, had a 2.66 ERA. So he, you know, maybe have a little bit left in the tank, and he'll be probably pitching for the Diamondbacks. Be cool. Yeah. I mean. To see him, I guess. Probably beat us. Yeah, probably. And then bidding for the bat that Kirk Gibson used for his historic home run in the 1988 World Series off of Dennis Eckersley has reached $90,750. Wow. Crazy. Christmas present for wood. Yeah. Oh, I would love to have that bat. I'd sleep with that bat. I bet. Let's see. M1 Lisa from San Diego. What was the word of the day? Polka dots. That is correct.

1:13:44Yay. You're going to get to come in for a backstage pass on a Friday. And congratulations to you. And you also got snow jam, ski, and snowboard expo tickets and body expo tickets. Yay. Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you. Hang on, okay? Have fun. All right. All right. So fake bits, 570-1949. Call us if you have an example of one of these. You know, for me, it is. It's the sweet grass juice I've been drinking now for. You have a lot. You're very easily convinced to do things. You can sell Mikey almost anything. Yeah. And so I drink this stuff and a doctor once told me that she has three ounces of this stuff a day and that it really changed her life and stuff like that. But what does it do? Keeps you healthy. Have you got a cold since then? Yes. Yes. That was the thing. Was it not allergies though?

1:14:43That's a fake bit. I only said it was allergies. I only said it was allergies because I didn't want you guys to be like, thanks, Mike, for bringing sickness. Like I did anyway. Yeah. When I got sick. Yep. So I think that. Do you feel like you smell better? Because of weak rastures? No. Does it do that? Yeah. Are you more regular? Not anymore than I. No. Wait a second. Wait, Woods. Maybe I am. I don't want to know. I just needed a yes or no. Here it comes. Maybe I am. Or am I? I don't know. You go one of two ways. Exactly. You know what else I think is a bit? What? I think that this whole, Splend is bad for you, man. Me too, dude. Whatever. No, I think it is. No, it's fine for you. Why can't you just? It is. I say just go with sugar. Yeah, I can't have sugar. You can't have a lot of sugar. She has a little dapper of it. Just a smidge. I can't. Can't have sugar. But just a little? Take it black like you're men. I do it with just cream.

1:15:53I think Splenda is delicious. I never liked the artificial sweeteners. And Splenda, I put one Splenda in coffee and I'm set. I used to put nine sugars in a coffee. I cut Splenda out of my life. That's stupid. Forget it. Get back on. Every once in a while now, every once in a while, I will put not a whole packet, but like one quarter of a packet. Where is Splenda found in nature? Yeah. Who cares? It's good. It's found in a laboratory. Vaseline's not found in nature, but we use that. Petroleum. All right, fine. What about stevia? I'm racking my brain thinking of something. Plastic. Plastic's not found in nature. I don't like plastic. But it's great. It's very helpful. You're not supposed to microwave plastic. I do it all the time. See what happens then. Or what? CFCs in your food, in your brain. I don't care anymore. What's CFCs? It's like antibody. Yeah, hey. All right, there's a bit. Antioxidants. Antioxidants are a bit. It's a bit. Yeah, it's a fake bit. I buy into it. Nobody even knows what it is. They just say it. They're like, ooh. It's not great. A bunch of antioxidants. Stop having too much oxygen. Please. What is it? Who knows? No one knows. We just know that it sounds great. I agree with you 100% on the Splendid thing because if it caused cancer, unlike cigarettes, okay, cigarettes cause cancer. They're on the thing. It says, if you buy these, you could die.

1:17:14It will cause cancer. Splenda's not going to do anything. It's one little Splenda. Cigarettes have been on the market forever. It doesn't matter. And finally, they got a warning back in what, like the 70s or something? It's one good, it's one little tiny packet of fake sugar and it is delicious. What's a bit? Allergies. No way. It's a fake bit. You are so ridiculous. It's a fake bit. I'll tell you what. I'm with you. You know how I know? No, I was with him and I got them about five years ago. You know how I know. You get allergies. My dad. For years, it said, I'm allergic to cats. I'm allergic to cats. Okay. So he came over to our house where we lived in Dallas. We had a cat. Yeah. And he said, the cat's outside, right? I'm like, yeah, the cat's outside, Dad. Walked in, was fine. If he saw the cat walking in, he'd go... I'm dying. I gotta go. I can't be here. I'm like, it's fake. The cat was in the room before. It's fake. It's psychosomatic. I think if you tell kids it's an allergy, you've got allergies, then kids have them. Yes. Because I tell Kim, you cannot tell our kids it's allergies. No, I'll tell you what, though. I agree. I think it's psychosomatic. I agree with that, but I always thought that allergies were a bit, and I was like, what does that mean when you say that your allergies are bothering you? What does that mean? And then about five years ago...

1:18:26Everything changed in my little ENT circulation or whatever causes allergies. And I was like, everything will like swell up and I itch. You know what that is? You have a stuffy nose. No. Just a stuffy nose. No. I'm going to change your mind about allergies because I believe that you believe that the word allergies is one big giant thing. And it isn't. Well, I know that you're allergic to some foods and you can die. I get that. Food allergies and the bit of... That's not what I'm talking about. The bit of... That's what I'm talking about. And you think that allergies means that it's this one thing called allergies that makes us go... And we scratch our eyes and whatever. And this is what it actually is. What it actually is, is that we are allergic to something. Yeah. Now, I can go find out what I'm actually allergic to, but they've got to stick me with a bunch of needles. And I told my wife, you know why I'm not going to do it? Because whatever it turns out that I'm allergic to, I can't get rid of. You won't be able to avoid it. You can't. A lot of people are allergic to dust. How are you going to avoid dust? You can't. But then again, who loves to roll around in dust? Nobody. If you roll around in dust, you're going to go... It's a bit.

1:19:44It's a bit. You're going to develop allergies. No, I won't. I know. No, I won't. Some people are allergic to peanuts and some people aren't. Right. That's what I'm saying. Food is different. But you walk outside and you're like, my allergies are really bad. I need a clarinet right now. You know what? You got a stuffy nose. Peanuts are a plant. So why couldn't someone also be allergic to like ragweed? I don't know. M1 Melvin from San Diego. He is an engineer. You actually know about Splenda why? How do you know about it? How do I know about it? It was explained to me in a bakery class years ago. Okay, tell me about Splenda. You already eat Splenda every time you have sugar. Sugar is a chemical element. Is that like my space? Yeah, is that like face space? I'm already lost. What does that mean, three space? In 3D. Oh, in 3D. When you look at a molecule on paper, it's just C6, H10, whatever. Right. Of course. But when you look at it in 3D, it's got orientation. Things hang off in certain directions. Half of sugar looks a certain way. Half of sugar looks another way. What they do in Splenda is they separate out what your body holds on to in your fat, and they leave only what processes in your water waste. So it's good. So good or bad? I have a question, though. What about, like...

1:21:21CO2, I mean, isn't it different when the stuff is separated out? Isn't it a whole different entity when things are by themselves? I don't understand your question. What about that? Wow, the scientist just didn't understand L.O.B.'s question. It's like, okay, you have CO2, and CO2 is something, you know, it's got the carbon and oxygen, but what about... Yeah, you're right. Yeah, but what about when O2 is by itself? It's completely different than it's when it's... There's no stereoisomers. Oh, wow. Exactly. I shouldn't have asked. You shouldn't have asked. So, all right. So, in layman's terms, Splenda is okay. But is Splenda okay? In my opinion, yes. Yes. That's all I wanted. Wait a minute, though. I'll be feasting on Splenda. Are you talking about refined white sugar? Oh, wow. No. Come on, Ella. You're killing me. Because sugar in the raw is different than the refined process. That is true. Sugar in the raw comes in a brown pattern. Yes. It doesn't go through that refining process. It looks like crystal meth. You know what else I think is a bit? What?

1:22:28balance bracelets. Oh, a total thousand percent. What is that? I've seen commercials for them now. Every major league baseball player wears one and every golfer wears one. I'm like, I gotta get one. Eye Black's a bit. You wear one. Eye Black is a bit. Eye Black's a bit. You guys know what Eye Black is? They put it under here. Under your eyes when they play football. Or baseball. It makes it worse. And I've done it. And you know why I do it? It looks cool. You look tough. Because I look tough. I'll go to the field on Sunday and be like, anybody got any black? Anybody got any black? And I'll throw it on and I'm out there and I'm like, I don't like this. It reflects off my cheeks and it makes it harder for me. But it looks rad. What about electric razors? Do those work any better than a regular razor? Not better. I think they're worse. You have to get used to them. You have to go through a period where your skin acclimates. What? They're not quite as close. There's two bits with cell phones. What? Number one, if you use it at a gas station, that the gas station's going to blow up. Yeah, that's a bit. That's not going to happen. And then the other thing is on the plane, I don't think that it actually interferes at all with the pilot. I think they just don't want you talking on the plane. I agree. I agree. And I do it. But I don't do it. I do it. It's against the rules. I've never turned my phone to plane mode. I've never turned my phone off once. My buddy's a pilot and he says it interferes with.

1:23:49communication between the plane. He wants you to think that. No, he wouldn't lie to me. Why wouldn't he? What if the secret got out? What if the secret got out? Yes, L.O.B.'s right. Pilots are well-known lies. Proven through history that, yes, pilots are liars. One of the news stories I have is a whole list of things about pilots and them coming clean about stuff. And he did say something. One of the guys said something about cell phones and says, well, what happens is 12 people will decide to call someone just before landing and you get a false reading on your instruments saying that we're higher than we really are. Well, see, I don't call anybody, but I text like crazy coming down. It's the same. Your phone is on. Maybe I just got convinced not to do it anymore. Unlike some of the flights in Europe and stuff, you can use your cell phone up there. In Europe? Yeah. I wonder why. Maybe they use different frequencies than we have here. Because of the metric system. Oh, probably. They have wireless on planes. That emits a city. Yeah, that's true. There's wireless on planes. I don't know. You know what else is a bit?

1:24:57Brain cancer from cell phones? No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. I don't want to take a chance. If it wasn't a bit, you wouldn't do it, L-O-B. No, no, no, no. Okay. It's not like there's a direct correlation, but they're saying they have seen studies that show that people can develop them, so why not just take these simple precautions? I unplug my wireless router every night. You do not. Yes, I do. It's my new bit. Do you hear what she just said? She uses her wire. She unplugs it every night. Because that thing is constantly searching for a signal. Speechless. BFMC. Your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, is a special man. Yes. He's a hero. What do you have, a 45-minute checklist before you go to bed? Whatever sippy cup. That is true. Mike drinks from a special orange cup. I do. A $30 sippy cup. be in the special orange. Everything? That's the only thing I'll drink out of at home. Are you a Mexican or a Mexicant? Mexicant. Because I can't drink out of anything except for that orange cup. And what about the size of the cup?

1:26:15That your coffee goes in. It has to be a certain size, right? That's true, Mike. It has to be 16 ounces. Your wife, Rebecca, is a special... OCD. Hey, by the way, this is going to shock some people. What? OCD? Fake bit. No, it is not. Fake bit. It's not. Don't you dare. It's a mental illness. Man up. It is a fake bit. It is not. Get over yourself. If I take your 12-ounce coffee cup, you're going to be... Dude. He doesn't have it. I don't have it. People do. Okay, fine. You know what's a... If you are diagnosed OCD and you are on medication, it's probably real. But everybody in our country that's like, I'm so OCD, I've got to have it my way. Fake bit. You'll live. Okay, you know what else I bet you think is a fake bit then? What? ADD. I knew it. You're like, just pay attention. No, I'm ADD. No, it's not fake. It's the same as the OCD. It's not fake. Why don't you pay attention? Because I can't. Just try paying attention. I can't sit still. Right. You're a fake bit. I can't sit still. I think it's just another reason to medicate our kids. It's a fake. It's not a fake bit. I'm so OCD. Everything has to be here. It's a fake bit? No, but they're using that kind of like as a euphemism. Oh my gosh. What Billy is going to say right now is a fake bit is going to... Don't you look, Sienna. Don't look, Sienna. You cheater. I can't see it. It's all small. What Billy is going to say is a fake bit is going to cause a nuclear war. M1 Billy from Oceanside. I know what he's going to say. Wait a minute. Billy?

1:27:38Hang on. Can you hang on the line, Billy? Oh, Billy. Can you hang on the line, Billy? It's Joey. It's Joey? Yeah. Joey from Oceanside? Yeah. Okay, can you hang on the line? Probably. Sounds like he's driving a train. How long can you wait for five minutes? Sure. Okay. Please. When we come back, I'm telling you that his It's a Bit is going to cause some nuclear war. It's going to cause some nuclear war. We'll be back. Sienna is whipping us. You guys, it's almost time. Sienna will not stop telling us. Off the air, we hear this so often.

1:28:54Speaking of fake bits. Yeah, speaking of fake bits. I am drawn to the time. 11-11. Yes, I am. For some reason, I look at the clock all the time and it's 11-11. Today is 11-11. Today is November 11th, 11-11. It's a big deal. And I just got on Google because I know I'm not alone. People send me messages saying it happens to them too. So I Googled 11-11 and it says right here. What? I believe that people who have constant contact with the 11-11 phenomenon have some type of a positive mission to accomplish. There you go. You guys are aliens. You guys, do you know what's happening? What? Today, because it's 11-11, at 11-11, it's 8-11 for us because we're on the West Coast. There's a moment of silence that's going to be going on. Well, they can knock themselves out. We're doing it. Oh my gosh. You guys, we have to do it. Let's do it. I am one of these people with a positive mission to accomplish. What better way than to do it on the radio? What do we do? We are quiet and you think it's peace. It's something to do with peace. So we reflect and we think peaceful thoughts. So that's in.

1:30:06Six minutes we're doing this mic. I'll do it. Okay. We are doing it. No problem. You guys, everyone in the car, anyone listening, take peaceful thoughts at 811. No. Definitely is a cracker. No. It's true. Okay, you guys ready for this World War III fake bit? Yes. Oh, gosh. I know what it is. M1 Joey, you there? Yeah. What's a fake bit? The fake bit is PMS. Yeah. I knew it. I knew it. You know what, Joey? Look at Sienna's face. Look at Sienna's face. I want him to come into the studio in about maybe 10 days. I took that week off, by the way, Mike. FYI. And we'll see how fake it is. You have no idea. Joey! Just an excuse to be a... How could that possibly be an excuse? There's a surge of... hormones. Is there? There is. You guys say the same thing about every time you check out some girl's rack. What? I can't help it. It's biological. That's wired in us. That's the way we're wired. That's how we're born. That's different. It's wiring. You guys, this is something that comes over us. Trust me, if we could avoid it, we would. You know why they call it PMS? Why? Because mad cow disease was taken. Lauren's doing her fake laugh. Good reason.

1:31:32Let me tell you. That was Jay, by the way. You guys all are monsters. That was so funny. Thanks. I do not understand the whole PMS thing. I don't get it. Because you're not a woman. I know. And cramps, I like to avoid them too. They hurt. They hurt a lot. Okay. You guys have had a cramp in your calf, right? Yep. That's the only thing that I know is a cramp. Oh. Okay, so what are you talking about when you say cramps? It's in the lower part of your stomach. Is it a poop cramp? Is it like a poop cramp? No. It's not like a poop cramp? It's sharp. Like a flu cramp. It's really sharp. I get poop cramps. Well, wait a minute. That's disgusting. If you get... a cramp in the lower part of your stomach that's like our calf. No, it's not like that. It is so much. It's like all of your... I just rolled my eyes. All of your systems inside are twisting and turning and they're at work and they're trying to be like... Now, how often can you get PMS? Because I know I had a few girls on my team when I worked when I was a manager that...

1:32:33seem to have it every week. Yeah, and they seem to call all the time. You'd be like, I can't make it in. I have PMRs. I have women's problems. The last time that you complained about it, never. The last time that we, you could have, you could have. What about me? Yeah. You got pregnant. Yeah, you're pregnant. I'm not pregnant now. You were. So? You have been, except for this month that you've been back. Yep. I have a personal question about that. What? Do women get their period right away after they have a baby? No. They don't? Yeah, some don't get it at all by their breastfeeding. I just was curious. It takes a while sometimes. I'm not curious. I was. I don't know why. I still don't know what it is. What does your clock say? We have two minutes. Okay, two minutes. Mine said three. I still don't know what it is. What is the proper time? It is 8.08 and 20 seconds. Okay, you guys. Should we be getting ready? No. Getting ready. This is a big deal. Let's get ready to be quiet. Yeah. We're quiet and think what's peaceful. Sienna wants us to do a moment of silence at 8-11. Imagine happiness throughout the world. Tranquility. So your cramps aren't like poop cramps that I get. No. Do you know what I'm talking about when I'm like, ah. Don't think about poop cramps during this 11-11 talk. Sienna. What? Can you, in your words, we heard L.O.B., she did her description of what they feel like. Cramps. I want, in your...

1:33:58description to tell me. The cramps? Yeah. I said that. She's exactly right. It's like your body's at work because there's stuff going on at that time. And it's like there's something in there twisting and twisting and it hurts and it hurts and it lasts for a while. Not like a leg cramp. Yeah. I have to. I don't take medicine for almost anything and I have to take something for that. Heroin, right? Morphine. Like 17 Advil. Isn't there some kind of Midol? Midol. I don't take that. That's a fake bit. Midol's a fake bit? I just use ibuprofen. Midol does not relieve your cramps? I don't know. I've never used it. Well, then why are you saying it's a fake bit? Because it's more expensive and it's got like a pink box skit. Okay. It had to have been a woman that created my doll. Because a guy would be like, I don't know what I even make here. She's playing to women's emotions. I've heard it was good for hangovers. My doll and pampering, yeah. Take a little pampering in the morning when you're hungover. Have you ever taken one? No. I've taken a birth control pill, but I've never taken a pampering. You took a birth control pill? Did anything happen to you? No. I got my period, but other than that, it was fine. Did anything happen? No. You didn't feel different? No. Nothing?

1:35:09A little gayer, but that was fine. You wouldn't even take a bite of my Luna bar. I would. I put a bow in my hair that day. I put a bow in my hair. We have 45 seconds until we do the moment of silence. This is a big deal. Yeah. She wants to do the moment of silence at 8-11. Happy birthday, Sienna. Happy birthday. This is for me. I realize you may think I'm nuts, but I'm telling you I'm not. Today is 11-11. Today's 11-11. I am drawn to the time 11-11. I don't know why. Some people say I'm on a mission. I don't know. But other people, Todd, my husband, he sees it now. Lauren sees it sometimes. I do. And I believe. I see it too, but I don't need it. I think I just looked at the clock at 11-11. I go, oh, cool, make a wish. My own mother thought I was nuts until I was on maternity leave and she was spending more time with me. And randomly, I'd be holding the baby. I'd be like, what time is it? She's like. Oh my gosh, it is. It's 11-11. Alright, are you ready? Yep. Oh my gosh, now is it time? Five seconds. Everyone, think. Okay, here we go. Positive thoughts. Peaceful. Peaceful. One. Okay, shh. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Quiet! You guys be quiet. Guys! Take this seriously. Take it seriously. I'm on a positive mission to accomplish something right now. Please. You guys. You know how farts get me. Seriously.

1:36:53Stop serious now serious time. All right. All right. We've had our fun. Let's let Sienna have her mother. Yes, there's not much time left. Quick before it turns to her in. You guys, seriously. We're not going to take this seriously. Come on, guys. Come on. Where am I? Preschool? I know. You're acting like children, man. Let's just please. Think peace. Think peace. Really with the hands on your face? Really? Okay. Laugh it up, clowns.

1:38:30Okay, fine. We tried it. We'll do it next year, Sierra. We'll do it next year. Who knew that that could be so fun? I did. Right now, my wife and my mother-in-law are just staring at the radio. Really? No, their eyes are actually up in their heads. You guys just wait. My mother-in-law loves the Mikey show. She goes, the only thing that I don't understand. is the fart noises. She goes, I've never understood it. She goes, I don't understand why. And I go, it sounds so funny. It's funny. Usually I'm on board with Mama Jean, but I, that was funny. Fart noises kill me. They're funny for whatever reason. Like, that's a long one. Last night I was laying in bed with the missus. And I go, yes. I was talking to a friend on the phone before that. And I go, yeah. So I talked to my friend. It was Bark Malman. I said, I talked to Bark Malman on the phone. And he said, and it was an accidental. She died. She almost fell out of the bed. She was laughing so hard. My husband's good at the timed ones in conversation. I'm great at the timed ones. The leg lift is always the best. Oh, yeah.

1:39:40Why does that get us so much? If someone can pull off the leg lift. I'll do it here in a minute. No, no, no. Depending on what you're sitting on, if it's a leather seat or something, volume can really increase. There is, on iTunes, an entire album. And all it is is farts. Genius. I got the app on my iPhone. Yep, the iFart. That's great. The names of those are the best. Some of them are really long, wet. Something I passed down to Jasper. He's quite the expert now. He can bust a move. I'm going to buy this. Of course you are. I'm buying it right now. You're buying Got Farts? Did you run it by the missus? Put it in the yellow book. I have to tell her because I'm overdrawn on my allowance. For two years. Babe, I had to get the fart app. Oh, yeah. I can't use... I can't use my allowance for something like, I don't know how many months. It's a lot of months because we got a new TV yesterday. Seems to be holding up. It's badass. Nita goes, why do they do this today? And I said, why are they putting in the TV? She goes, yes. And I said, because this one is really, really beautiful. And she goes,

1:40:57But what was wrong with previous ones? I'm on board with you, Nita. Where did the previous one go? Yeah, that's what I want to know. To my living room? No, they use, my guy is great. He will take stuff and use it as a credit. Oh. So he's going to refurbish it maybe or just resell it? Yeah, he'll get rid of it. That's great. Maybe he brings it to my house. I know, mine too. I don't have a TV, so. You're not ready for this one. You're not ready for this one. There's nothing that you would have done with it. Would have leaned against the wall. Yeah, it weighed 150 pounds. Wow. Forget it. The old one weighed 150 pounds. The new one's 7 pounds. Yeah, the new one's 7 pounds. Is it like so, so skinny? It's thin and it's... It's a little smaller than the other one, but it looks... It looks... I mean, I saw it yesterday. It's HD, obviously. No, it's not HD. Yes, it's HD. It's 1080p. Well, I don't even know what that means. That's how good it is. It sounds awesome. There's 1080i. There's nothing better. And then there's 1080p. We watched... Mikey made me, forced me, against my will, to come watch some of Apocalypse Now yesterday. Oh, finally? Finally. It's insanely...

1:42:14Rad. It's clear as a bell. Is it? Does it look like they're in the room with you? How great did it sound? It sounded amazing. Yeah. So you got a new... The high def player in there too? I got a Blu-ray. Blu-ray. Nice. I got a Blu-ray to go with it in it. It's time. It blamed me for that. Yeah, I did. Yeah, to his wife he blamed me. I said, babe, the only way that Woods will watch this movie is if we get the Blu-ray player. Oh my gosh. So we added the Blu-ray player to it. And there's a game on tonight at 5.30. Oh yeah. The Thursday night games are back. Good timing. There's a game on tonight at 5.30. It's Baltimore. And Atlanta. And the Falcons. So if you're a fantasy football player, set your lineup tonight. Before tonight. My defense is going tonight, so I had to make sure I got all set up last night. I'm in a crapper with my fantasy football. Yeah, I'm playing you this week, L.O.B. Are you? I don't know anything about it. L.O.B.'s let her team go. There's always that person in fantasy football. No, no, no. I forgot my lineup one week. I can't help it that my team sucks. No. My sister-in-law said that her dad got the 3D TV.

1:43:23Oh, really? It's a bit. No, he loves it. Does he have to wear glasses? You have to wear these special glasses. And she said she came home. She doesn't live with them, obviously. She came home and they were getting their living room redone so there was no furniture in there. And she said he's sitting there Indian style on the ground with these 3D glasses. Grown man. Grown man. Just looking like, wow. When we get that new couch in that room, I'm not leaving. Yeah, you probably never will. I will set up camp. You don't leave now. Well, I'm always in my office, right? I have been up until now. Yesterday, I just sat in there and looked at it like a little boy. Oh, this, so I should put this in my recap to mention. So the kids are always in that room, okay? There's toys everywhere in that front room. Your living room? Our living room. And it's always been fine with me because I watch television in my office because that's where the good TV has been. Up until now. And so yesterday, since we got the new TV in there, I wanted to watch a movie called Bridge on the River Kwai. Totally normal for a 40-year-old man. Best picture, 1957. And it looks fantastic on the Blu-ray. So I'm in there watching it, and Rebecca brings in Luke and Ryan, and they're playing around. Ryan is our snuggler.

1:44:50He's also our most kickback kid. So while Luke is crawling around and running around everything, Ryan, when the TV's on, will sit and he'll look up and he'll watch. And so dad and Ryan are watching Bridge on the River Kwai. Poor kid. And Rebecca is in there and the scene comes where they line up all the British soldiers. And they back the truck up and open up the back of the truck. And Colonel Saito says, you have three seconds to put your men to work. And if you don't, I will execute them all right now. And Rebecca kind of looks back at me. And I'm like, and I see her look at me, but I don't make eye contact because I know if I make eye contact, it'll stop everything. So I keep watching and they take the gun and they go, you know, get the gun ready to fire. And the British soldier says, Colonel Saito, may I read to you, please, from the Geneva Conventions manual that says, and he takes that. He says, may I see your book? He hands the book over to him and he goes, feel free to prove it is your leisure. It is. And he slaps him in the face with the book and his nose starts bleeding. And Rebecca goes, babe.

1:46:21That's exactly what I would have done. Yeah. And I go, yeah. And she goes, do you think that there's anything else on television besides British execution? Oh, boy. And I go, why? And she goes, well, I thought that maybe we'd let the kids turn two before they saw their first execution. Exactly. With good reason. And I'm like, and I go, babe, Ryan is into it. You know what other movie would be good for him? The Green Beret. The Green Beret, right? Well, you know, speaking of all this kind of stuff, you know, today is Veterans Day. It's a big day for, you know, everybody. And it doesn't matter what city you're in. You're probably thinking about the fact that today is Veterans Day. But the fact that we live where we live, it's a kind of a bigger deal. You know, just the fact that we live here.

1:47:21And so I thought we would do something kind of special because of today and play a song that's kind of special for all of our service men and women. You know, I said this earlier. We live in San Diego and sometimes we just forget. You remember when you're flying in, you know, sometimes when you're flying into San Diego and you're going through those buildings and you're landing at Lindbergh Field. You'll look out by the Coronado Bridge, and you'll see those aircraft carriers. It's in those moments that we realize how much our service men and women mean to us here in San Diego. My dad was in the Navy for 25 years, and everybody knows somebody that served. It's just we don't think about it all that often. So today was a day where I wanted to say I am thinking about it today, and we love you. We want to say thank you.

1:52:22And we want you to know how much we respect you for everything that you've done. If it weren't for you and the people, the men and women who came before you, you'd be speaking German right now. Thank you. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, the Navy has announced a special air show. Depending on who you are, I think you're going to be pretty into this. They're saying this is going to be the biggest flyover of San Diego Bay with more than 150 aircrafts to celebrate their 100-year anniversary of naval aviation. And it's going to be happening February 12th. So it's going to be very exciting. That sounds good. That's huge. Also, for the guys, I have to repeat this story if you didn't hear it earlier. What is it? And the girls. Hugh Hefner.

1:55:19PMS is a bit. No. Hugh Hefner has decided to pull a Willy Wonka and he is hiding 10 golden tickets to his Midsummer Night Dream Party, which is like the biggest party of the year at the Playboy Mansion. He's hiding these golden tickets in... 200,000 copies of the December issue of Playboy magazine. So, you know, the December issue hits newsstands tomorrow, Friday. And if you do get one of these golden tickets, which hopefully someone here in San Diego will, you get flown up there, you and a guest to L.A., you get to stay at a Posh Petit and Martige hotel and dinner at an upscale restaurant. Playboy models, Hollywood stars, they'll all be there. I won't be going. If an M1 wins, you take the kid with you. No. Maybe take me. That's all you do. Maybe take me. I'll let you know. A thousand percent. Option them off to us. You're a married guy, though. You can't do that. I can go to a party. I'm allowed to go to a party. Yeah, there's a party, though, with a bunch of half-naked women. Well, that's usually every party I go to. It's normal, yeah. What do you call Halloween? What's going on in sports?

1:56:16Yeah, just like Halloween. Geez. Well, the big question for the Chargers is Antonio Gates. Is he going to be okay? He's got a banged up foot. He's got, you know, turf toe and plantar fasciitis, the whole thing. North Turner seems to think that this may work for him, this time off. Cut through. Hopefully this time off will help the toe and the plantar fascia. Heel and then help you play like you did before Staten. Plannar fascia. One more time, please. Plannar fascia. Hopefully this time off will help the toe and the plantar fascia. You didn't get that clip. It's like me with news sometimes. Uh-oh, what's this one? I've been there too. And then also the... Much maligned star quarterback for the Auburn Tigers, Cam Newton, will start this weekend against Georgia. Because why wouldn't he? Because he's a badass and nothing's been proved against him yet. Exactly. Today, if you go to Chick-fil-A, I want you to say. Why wouldn't you? So good. If you go to Chick-fil-A today, say to them, turn up the fight.

1:57:39Remember that phrase, turn up the fight when you go to the Chick-fil-A's in San Diego today, and they'll give 20% of your purchase to malnourished kids through Outside the Bowl. And I'm big into Outside the Bowl. Love Outside the Bowl. Tomorrow morning, Cutlass will be live in the studio. They're doing a concert tomorrow night that I will be at, and I can't wait. It should be a lot of fun. And yeah, so there you go. Jay, is today the day? that my high school friend Erin is coming in? Yes, she is. From Vision Walk? Did you guys know that? No. A friend of mine from high school, Erin, is coming in to tell people about something called Vision Walk, and I went to high school with her. I didn't know that. No way. You went to Gilroy High. Can I interview her? Yes, you can. Yes. Yes, you can. Because I told her, I said, listen, just so you know, my crew is going to want... All of the really embarrassing Mike stories. Thank you for not telling me so that I wouldn't have a chance to prepare for this interview, Mike. Thank goodness for small little miracles. Sometimes off the cuff is just better. That's true. I've been saving these questions up for a long time, so it should be fine. Not worried. No, we'll think of something. It'll be interesting. You guys will come up with something. Christine O'Donnell.

1:59:05I'm not a witch. Aren't you? I'm not a witch. Aren't you? She went on TV and was being interviewed. You know, she lost. She was running in Delaware. She was running for Senate. Delaware is a fake bit, by the way. Yeah. L.O.B. does not believe in Delaware. Nope. Yep. She just doesn't believe it. And who could blame her? People in Delaware, maybe. They would gladly move to Maryland or Pennsylvania. They wouldn't care. That's right. Well, anyway, so Christine O'Donnell. Christine O'Donnell goes on... Oh, here it is. Tonight Show. And talks about the I'm Not a Witch commercial that she did. And whether or not she thinks that was effective for her. Anytime. Do you regret running the ad I Am Not a Witch? Do you regret that? Actually, I do because I feel like the whole message got lost. The purpose of that ad was supposed to put... Message got lost. Right. The message was that you're not a witch. Yeah, it was so profound. I think people got that. I do regret it because I lost. Yeah. I lost. So, obviously, I'm filled with regret. Put it all behind me so that we can talk about, you know, the largest tax increase in history, the death tax that's coming this November.

2:00:32And it all got lost. But I will say, I saw the Saturday Night Live skit on Mocking the Witch, and I was shocked. I laughed. And that was probably the first time I laughed at a Saturday Night Live skit since he left. Since who left? Spade. I think David Spade was next to her. Oh, really? You could tell by the laugh. I'm just guessing, but I could tell by the laugh. I'm pretty good. So, there's a TV program on... ESPN called E360. I think it's E60. E60. Sorry. E60. And they do incredible, incredible stuff. They do documentary pieces. And they did a bit on Ryan Matthews, number 24. He is the rookie running back for the San Diego Chargers. The heir apparent to LT. Yeah. In fact, LT was... his idol as he was growing up, ironically enough. Wow. And they did a piece on him on E60, and I didn't know much about him. Me neither. What I did know about him is that he's a good kid. I knew that. In fact, it was one of the reasons that I wanted him to be a part of the campaign that I'm doing, Be Different. And if you want to know more about that, by the way, you can go to bedifferentpact.com.

2:01:59And Ryan Matthews is one of the B different packed people, along with Heath Bell, Sonny from POD. And he's going to be wearing one of the wristbands. And the reason is because he's a good dude. Yes. Well, they ran this piece on him. And I said, it was so powerful. It was so, so powerful. And I said to Jay, you know, let's. And I often do this. Can you make it into segments? We'll run it in some segments. And then thinking about it further, I said, you know, I'm going to do something that I never do. I'm going to run this six minute piece in its entirety instead of running it in pieces. I'm just going to run this six minute clip in its entirety because it does it in injustice to.

2:02:56Take anything out of it. You know, if you don't know anything about Ryan Matthews, you got to take a listen to this thing. And even if you're not a football fan, this story is nothing short of amazing. So for the next six minutes, I invite you in your car to just listen to this piece and go along this journey with us that we heard. It's just an amazing thing. Right over my heart. Mama's boy. That's what I'll always be, always be a mama's boy. She's my heartbeat. She's my best friend. I'd do anything for her. Before Chargers rookie running back Ryan Matthews scored his first NFL touchdown, or walked in his boyhood idol shoes, or even stepped on a football field, there was a baby, a teenage mom,

2:04:11and a car. We didn't have a home. She never gave up. She was always fighting. She was always trying to make my life and her life better. All Ryan's mother, Trisha, ever wanted was a stable home for her son, something she never had. Beaten by one of her mother's boyfriends, sexually abused by a relative, 13-year-old Trisha fled her central California hometown of Tehachapi to live with her aunt 140 miles away in Riverside. There, Trisha began a secret and intimate relationship with a man who was in his mid-30s. At the age of 15, she was pregnant. I was scared. So I didn't tell him who the father was. I lied and said it was somebody else. Why couldn't anybody know? Because he was older and he said they'd put him in jail for statutory rape. Ryan was born on October 10, 1987. Two months later, Trisha's aunt discovered the identity of the father.

2:05:11a truck driver named Vardaman Tillman, who had been renting a room on her aunt's property. She just basically told me to come and get my stuff. She would set it out on the porch, and if I came in her house, she would have me arrested. So I went over there, and my stuff was in trash bags on the front porch. Unreal. And I picked it up and put it in my car and left. Ryan's father had already deserted Tricia and Ryan with no money. no job and no one to help them, 16-year-old Trisha and her newborn baby were homeless and forced to live out of her car, a 1969 Osmobile. Sleeping at night was the worst. So I'd always pick like a church parking lot. I figured I was safe there, safer than most other places, I guess. We were crammed in the backseat of this car and he'd wake up all night long, you know, and I used to just lay there at night and think, why doesn't anybody care?

2:06:13Ryan's mother would bathe him at a local park where they would spend most of their days. We had two cloth diapers and he'd wear one and I'd wash the other one out and hang it up to dry. And then I would go and eat at the soup lines. So I would just, like when I would get food, I would chew it up and give it to him and he'd eat it. All I knew is there's a little baby laying in my arms that didn't ask to be brought here. And I just said, you know, something's got to change. Like I can't live like this. This is a story of Ryan Matthews, if you're just tuning in. After living in the car with Ryan for four months, Tricia sold the Oldsmobile for $100 and bought a bus ticket back to her hometown. Her grandmother allowed her to move in and babysat Ryan while Tricia waitressed and worked at a gas station. Three months later, Tricia had enough money for her own apartment. And finally, her son Ryan had a home. She was always working and always trying to get in overtime and stuff. And she did what she had to do to put food on the table. With his mom constantly working, Ryan was often alone. He found refuge in football and by the age of 13 began idolizing Charger running back LaDainian Tomlinson. Wearing LT's number 21, he became a star as a high school junior. I thought I was a big man on campus. You know, I thought I was the toughest thing around. You know, I had...

2:07:36You know, all these colleges, you know, sending me letters and was like, man, you know, I'm untouchable right now. Ryan was being recruited by USC, Michigan, and UCLA, among others. But when they found out he had a D average, the big-time schools disappeared. 17-year-old Ryan was sleeping in and skipping classes. The coach calls and he says, you know, Ryan, you know, there's a problem. Ryan has missed, like, you know, a bunch of school and he's got Fs. And I was like, what? You know, so when he came home, I confronted him and we got into an argument about it. She was disappointed. I was disappointed in myself. Didn't want to play football no more. Didn't want to do anything. You know, it sucked. That was probably the worst day, you know, I could probably say in my life. And I just wanted to tell him, you know, like, you have opportunities. You know, like, I didn't have those opportunities. And no matter how bad it got, I never quit.

2:08:35I just tell by the look in her eyes, and by the way, she was talking to me that this was something serious. You know, and by living in the car, you know, like I say, it could give you a lot of chances to quit. She never quit on me at all. I felt like if I was going to quit, you know, I'd be taking a part of me and a part of her, you know, and I'd just be throwing it down the trash. Ryan went to summer school, pulled his grades up. and as a senior ran for 3,396 yards and 44 touchdowns. He enrolled at Fresno State, the one school that stuck by him, and he continued to wear 21 in honor of Tomlinson. In 2009, Ryan led the NCAA with 150 rushing yards per game and then entered the NFL draft. One team traded up 16 spots in the first round to get him. The team was called the San Diego Chargers, and he's a Charger now, number 24. Incredible story. Could not be more in than a guy. Could not. That's crazy. I am so glad that he's one of the Be Different guys. And, you know, we're going to get a wristband for him. You know, if you don't know much about Ryan Matthews or you don't know much about the Be Different pact, it's a pact.

2:09:56And we're all wearing the bracelets right now. And it's a black wristband. It's kind of like the Livestrong bracelet. And in white lettering, it says be different. And the idea behind it is being different culturally. Because our culture is going to tell us to be a D. Our culture is going to tell us to be a B. To judge people. To judge. Our culture is going to tell us to... Get mad. You know, getting mad is OK. And our culture is going to tell us, you know, sometimes it's not even the culture. I'm just talking straight from the heart, man. Sometimes not even the culture. Sometimes it's just wired in us. We're driving. We get pissed. We want to flip somebody off because we're angry or we're in the grocery store and we're just mad. The be different bracelet is a constant reminder that's on your wrist that goes, oh, yeah. I got a pact. I made a pact with a bunch of people and we're all going, I'm going to be different. Now, if we get one of these response bands on everybody and everybody sees it as a constant reminder, this isn't going to change the world. But what if it makes a difference? What if it makes a difference in our city and in our country and in our world? And trust me, I want this to be a global phenomenon. I want it to be something that we see.

2:11:26all over the world, in Australia. I want them to be printed in different languages. If you want to know more about it, go to bedifferentpact.com, and you can see more about it. When we come back, we're going to talk to my friend Erin, who I went to high school with, and she's going to be telling us about something that she's doing, and Woods is so happy because... He gets to ask questions about me in high school. You already know I was a nerd. I just want confirmation. All right. I just want confirmation. All right. We'll be back. Woodsy said it best. Woodsy said that he likes this band because they remind him so much of the Beach Boys. Me too. It's good. So we're going to be talking to my friend Aaron, who I went to high school with here in just a second.

2:12:41I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 40 years of age. Woodsy is 35. He's our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB, is 29, and she is our assistant producer. Sienna's our news girl. She is 25 years of age and has a brand new daughter named Sage. Oh, thank you. And Jay is our producer, and he is 47. And our phone screener is Chris. It's crap. It's crap. that was out to sea for however long they were out to sea is finally docked in San Diego. Going to get a real meal tonight, guys. Yeah, Lauren said I should take them down some Pop-Tarts and Spam for right when they get off the boat. That's all they've been eating the last four days. Pop-Tarts and Spam? Because they ran out of food, right? No, they didn't run out of food. There was no power. Oh, so the stuff got spoiled? Refrigeration, forget it.

2:13:38Yeah, stuff like that that stinks. That's filthy. How do they not have, I wonder why they don't have gasoline-powered generators. They do. That's what burned up. No way. The engine caught on fire on Monday. Yikes. So the generator burned up. Yeah, everyone's safe and no one was hurt, if you're hearing this for the first time. But there were some panic attacks, as you can imagine. Yeah, I have those all the time. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I don't need more. All right, fine. I'm going to have one now. Because Woods is going to get to talk to my friend Erin from high school, which Erin is here because she's going to tell us about something called Vision Walk that she is a part of. Right, Erin? Yes. And it's an actual walk. And tell me what it's about and what it does and how it raises money. Well, Vision Walk is all over the United States. It's part of Foundation Fighting Blindness. And my mom and I are on the board of the San Diego chapter. Cool. And Vision Walk is to raise money for research for retinal diseases. We're the leading...

2:14:46nonprofit in raising money for retinal diseases. And you have this. I do. What is it? I mean, and how did it start and how did you notice? I know, right? Yeah. It's called retinitis pigmentosa and I've had it my whole life. I was diagnosed when I was 11, which you probably had no idea when I was in high school. Yeah, I know. It's the problem with, well, we call it RP. The problem with RP is that I look. totally normal. Yeah. Like I can see. But I started out where I couldn't see at night and I didn't really know that. So when we play hide, well, where we grew up, there was like a lot of country. Yeah. And I don't mean, like there was. Like far out, you know. Yeah, totally. Not like Kenny Chesney. Yeah, totally. Keith Herman. So we would like go out and play like a Coyote Lake and stuff. We'd go play hide and go seek at night. Right. And I couldn't figure out why I. could never find it. So it started like that? Yeah, totally. But I didn't know. I thought everybody saw like me. So when we would go over to Santa Cruz over Hecker Pass, really windy road, I freaked at night because I thought my dad saw like I did. And so I couldn't figure out how he could be.

2:16:01stay on the road because i couldn't see the road so it was kind of like when i was diagnosed it was like oh well okay right um and so and then it starts with tunnel vision so i have tunnel vision and then in the last few years it's kind of deteriorated pretty rapidly so i can't really read but i've got all kinds of cool stuff at um i'm a teacher at my school and at home i've got a lot of aids that um like low vision aids taught me and i have a teaching assistant in my classroom to help me too so it's you know It is what it is. But Foundation of Finding Blindness and Vision Walk are like my best hope for finding a cure. Okay, so that which means that there's a possibility that they can somehow do some sort of an operation or something like that. How would they cure it? Well, I don't know. I don't know if they'll cure it because it's a degenerative disease. Right. But we're hoping that there's... There's so many clinical trials going on that the list is endless right now. And so what we hope is that we can stop it. And they're even actually in some types of retinitis pigmentosa, they're turning it around where people with no sight are able to see shades and see light and dark. And where are you with that in terms of what you can see? How much can you see? Well, it's...

2:17:24People always ask me that question, and my favorite game is, can you see this? I bet, yeah. But, you know, I don't know. It varies. My right eye is my strong eye. My left eye is my really weak eye. Right. And so it depends. Like some days I can see out of my left eye a little bit. Yeah. And some days I wake up and it's just like, oh, it's going to be a bad day. Right. Visually speaking, not, you know, just a bad day. Right. And so I don't know. It's hard to say because I don't know what you see like. Right. So I can't compare it. I used to always say like if I had one wish that it would be to see like everybody else. But I don't. That's not my wish anymore. because I don't know what I don't have. So my wish is that my family and my friends could see what I do for a day, so they just could kind of get it a little bit more. I can't drive, and that's kind of a pain in the butt. I gave that up a couple years ago. But we live in a really small town in Imperial Beach, and so we ride bikes everywhere and walk everywhere. My friends and my family are amazing. That's awesome. Okay, now, how can vision work?

2:18:32What is it and how do people get involved in it and how can they help? Cool. So Vision Walk is on Sunday at Deanta Cove in Mission Bay. It's real easy to get involved. You can just show up at 9 o'clock in the morning on Sunday and register, or you can go on www.visionwalk.org, and you can click on San Diego, and you can register on a team. You can make a team. You can donate to a team. That's cool. Yeah, and so our goal is to raise $50,000. behind that is because the average clinical trial costs $50,000. And so there's 30 vision walks all over the United States. So if every vision walk makes $50,000, then that's 30 clinical trials that we can fund just from vision walk. And it's free. There is no cost to participate. And what we hope is that people will donate money. Samantha and I, who's my co-chair, she and I are in a really tight competition right now. We both have about

2:19:42$5,600 that our teams have raised. Are you on separate teams or the same team? Uh-huh, separate teams. They're competing. Then I'm afraid your friend is about to get her butt kicked. Because we want people to go there and it's Erin. Yeah, and my team is called Erin's RP. And every year we change what RP stands for. And this year it's... Random Philanthropist. Okay. And so, yeah, you can just click on me. My name's Erin Goodwin-Allen, and you can click on me and you can donate to our team so we can take away the lead from Samantha. All right. And then www.visionwalk.org. Uh-huh. Okay, cool. Now Woods and Sienna and L.O.B. get to ask questions about me in high school. By the way, Erin was very popular in high school. Erin was a, I'm just going to tell you, real pretty girl. Very popular. Cheerleader, right? Was? Yeah, still very pretty, Michael. He is very pretty. No, no, no. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. He's a little socially awkward. You just need to call him out on it. But anyway, you were a cheerleader too, right? Yeah, for two years. Yeah, for two years. Okay, so Erin, very popular girl.

2:20:54Me, not so much. But Woods and L.O.B. and Sienna get to ask questions. Okay. Did you know who he was? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Because he lived, actually, the street behind me. And my best friend lived across the street. from Mike, and so I think Mike had a total crush on my best friend, so I saw a lot of Mike. Maybe I did. Did you see Mike peering out his window through the blinds, eating an enchilada, looking out across the street when you guys were playing in the yard? Well, no, because this was high school, and so I don't know because I don't see so well, but I know that whenever we got... But I know whenever we like, you know, got over to...

2:21:43to her house. It's hard not to say her name. You could say Gina. He totally knows what I'm talking about. Whenever we get over to Gina's house, Mike would suddenly be jogging across the street. Would he be out waxing his car? Oh, hey, girls. When you guys went out, he wasn't that sly. Hi, guys. How are you? What are you guys doing? Hi, Erin. Hi, Gina. When you guys walked into to her house and close the door, did you die laughing because of Mike? Oh, no, because, like, Mike says, like, I guess, you know, I had a lot of different friends, but we, it's not like high school. I don't, I mean, like movies. We were, you know, everybody was... pretty nice, I think. Don't you think? Oh, yeah. And so, no, we would just be like, oh, my God. Not at my high school. No, they were. Everybody was nice. Oh, yeah, totally. It was. It was a nice school and it was a cool place. I mean, listen, my deal was I just wasn't going to be getting a lot of girlfriends. That was the deal. And, you know, I had a lot of crushes. Was he the class clown?

2:22:52Well, yeah. Isn't that what you got? Yeah. Only they didn't call it class clown. No, it was so cheesy. I brought the yearbook. You did? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have it in my hands. I have it in my hair. My mom posted it, his picture. But you can't look at mine. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, Mike. There's a picture of Mike with someone named Jill French, and it says, most likely to be a guest on Pee-wee's Playhouse. Oh, my gosh. And Mike is, like, getting run over by a golf cart or something like that. Yeah, that was the narc cart. Oh, my gosh. I wish Erin's so pretty. Oh, my gosh. I'm telling you, like, hey, listen, not to embarrass Erin. Erin was widely considered, like, one of the hottest girls in high school. No doubt. No doubt about it. Oh, Mikey! Oh, my gosh! So much hair, right? Wait, you were in debate? Was I? You're a mastered debater, huh? Oh, my gosh. Okay, I'm looking at everyone else's...

2:24:06picture here and it lists what they did in high school. Mike's is the longest by far. It says, repressed three years, senior play four years, football one year, weird. Didn't really play. Wrestling one year, speech club one year, debate one year. And what's this quote? Everybody got a senior quote. You got to write whatever you want as your quote. I loved yours. Mine was so cheesy. Most people would put like something that was very profound. You want to read Mike's quote, Woods? Yes, I shall. Stan Klib fell 20,000 feet from an airplay. It was a typo. It wasn't my fault. Without a parachute, that's also misspelled, and lived until he hit the ground. Parentheses, yeah. Bada bing. Bada bing. What? I know, I know. Hold on. I know, I know. You see Jeff Garcia in there. Well, also, I like to point out that everybody else goes with the standard black tuxedo. Our boy Mike decides that he's going to go for the red tie. The red bow tie. Bow tie.

2:25:14I'm sorry, Mike. Jake, can we scan this? Okay. We're going to have pictures of this on the website, MikeyShow.com. Probably on our Facebook page, too. Absolutely. Probably going to hire a blimp to pull a banner over San Diego with this information. Why don't we just go back in time and get that blimp to pull it over there? The class clown picture is you're getting run over by a golf cart. Eric just casually throws in a yearbook that I brought. What? What? I ran and I grabbed it and I held it tight as if Mike was going to rip it off me. She pressed him against her bosom. I did. I thought Mike was going to take it or something. Oh, my gosh. I wasn't going to bring that up unless we'd already plugged VisionWise. I know. You had to get that out there. Thanks for that. You had to get that out there. Oh, my gosh. That is, does that even look like me, Woods? No. It does not at all. Maybe people can only get to see the picture if they donate. Oh, you can put it on my website. Yeah, that's what you should do. Right? Oh, my gosh. I love you. That's a great idea. If you donate five bucks, you get to see this picture of me. It's worth it. It's the most humiliating picture ever. I want to tell Jay not to put it up. They all are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell Jay not to put it up that we'll do it on her website. Literally, there's 40 other pictures on that page. Nobody has all that stuff written under yours. Yeah.

2:26:30Oh, it was all about that. All you wanted was the most stuff written. Well, I don't know. I was the same way. I wanted the most stuff written under my name. Right. So that was your bit? Yeah, it was your bit. You had to make stuff up? Yeah, you tried. A lot was one year. Yeah. Like, I was on JSA. Yeah. I don't even know what that is. I know. You made stuff up? Yeah, you put stuff up. You never wrestled. I was on the wrestling team. I was thinking about that. That would have been great to see. Yeah. I'll wrestle you right now. You should have seen me, by the way, in one of those wrestling uniforms. I'm glad I was thinking about it. Picture me. Aaron's still laughing about it. Picture me in a singlet, all right, walking out with my chub hanging out everywhere, just chub, and getting out there and wrestling a guy. Do you remember your record? Yeah, probably like something and, you know, O and something. Did you win a match? Do you ever remember winning a match? I don't even remember wrestling. Honestly, I don't. I want to know what senior. This was me. Go ahead. What is senior play? You were one of the leads, weren't you? Yeah, yeah, but I didn't get to be in it because of my grades. But I was a lead. In the senior play? Like, I was a good actor. I was a really good actor, but I couldn't be in it. I couldn't be in it because of my grades. Oh, my God. Aaron, did Mikey sign your flair?

2:27:46I don't know. A yearbook. What is a flare? Back in the 20s. We call these flares. Is that like suspenders with all the buttons on them? Do you have... any anecdotes about Mike in high school? Do you remember any stories? No, I hung out with cool people. Yeah, I made out with boys and have dates and stuff. You know what? It was funny because I was thinking about it. I just remember Mike, he was just hilarious to have in class and to see around campus because he just made everybody laugh. Yeah, that was always the bit. And we would do things like, I was... It's funny because we talk about like smart classes and stuff. And so I was in smart classes, but I was also lazy. So I would poke my eye with my fingernail and tell my teacher that my contact popped out. Oh, wow. And then my girlfriend had to help. I didn't wear contacts. And then my girlfriend had to help me. And we'd go walk around and watch people in photography. And I remember seeing Mike out a lot. Like, hey, Mike, what's up? Never in class. Dude, I would never. I wouldn't be in class. I'd just be wandering around. What did your dad do? Your dad's so strict. My dad had no clue.

2:29:00Please, our high school was a joke. It was a joke. Wow, that would have never fallen in my school. I went to Santa Barbara for college, and people got there, and they had units, like AP classes. I'm like, AP? What's that? Our high school didn't even have anything like that. It was a joke. No, it was a total joke. And I would walk around and not go to my class. You just do bits all day. I just do bits. Totally. And look at you now. When I found out he had a radio show, I'm like, ah. That makes sense. Do you remember Mrs. Sarigstad? Oh, yeah. Totally loved her. So here was the story. Mrs. Sarigstad was really nice, really cool teacher. And I had her for a class and I'd go there. Once a week or once every couple of weeks I'd go to the class. But she was really nice, so she didn't care. So one day I go in there and they're doing a group thing where all the kids are huddled in groups doing a group project. And I just picked one. What class, by the way? I think she taught history or something like that. History. So I just pull up a chair with the people that I wanted to hang out with. She didn't care. And so I pulled up a chair and she came over to me and she goes, Hey, I just wanted to tell you.

2:30:07Because she was also one of the people that was like in charge of knowing if you were getting an advisor. So she knew if you know what your credits were, if you're going to graduate, that kind of stuff. She came over and she said, hey, I just want you to know you can totally hang out if you want to. There's no chance you're going to graduate. No chance. Yeah. And I said, really? And she said, yeah. And I said, so. even if I stay and I earn credit or if I do extra credit or blah, blah, blah. And she, Oh no, no, there's no way. How's that feel? There's no way. Oh, it was devastating. And she said, but she goes now, but you knew that, right? And I get, I didn't, you know, I just was, I was a goofball and every day instead of going to school. I would go to San Francisco to see the Alex Bennett show on the radio and sit in their live studio audience like we have here on Friday. Amazing. Which is why, by the way, Alex Bennett started every show. He did this. It's the Alex Bennett show with a live studio audience.

2:31:06Who does that now every Friday? And so she said, yeah, she goes, you know, you can stay if you want to. And I go, so it doesn't make a difference? She goes, no. So I got up left. I never was back at Gilroy High after that day. Wow. Yeah, I left my senior year. I got my GED. I never graduated. Oh, I think I remember that. Yeah, I got my GED. Did you go to one of the continuation high schools? Yeah, no, I went to. No, I didn't. Yeah, I know. We had one high school and what, like three or four continuation high schools? Everyone's like, did you hear about Esparza? The guy walked out, he'd never come in back. You know, now that you say that, I've kind of, it's jogging my memory. Yeah. I'm the same age as Mike, so. Yeah, I went to, in fact, I got my GED. I had to take my GED in San Jose. We lived in Gilroy. And I took my GED, ironically enough, at a building. that shared the parking lot with KSJO Radio. Oh, no way. Where I would eventually work. You worked at KSJO? Yeah, I did afternoons and mornings. I got fired about three times. My husband and I still talk about it. At KSJO, that seems like a hard thing to do. Yeah, I know. Yeah, well, it was, and I did. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I started there doing nights at KSJO, then I moved to afternoons at KSJO, then I did mornings at KSJO, and then got fired, and they hired me back. It's a long story.

2:32:24Anyway, Erin, thank you for coming in and telling my story. Thank you. Yes, you made our day. Thanks, guys. But please do this. Please don't leave yet because I've got to look through that yearbook. We all have to look through that yearbook. Okay, thanks. Now, I haven't heard this audio yet, but we're going to be playing it when we get back for once. I am totally fascinated to hear about something that was on Oprah. Here's why. She interviewed all of her old competition, basically. So Phil Donahue, Sally Jesse Ruffia, Montel Williams, all of them. She asked Geraldo how much he got paid to open up Capone's vault. So all that stuff's on there. We'll play it next. Oh my God, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. When I play the wrong song, well, when I play the same song, Woods says the same thing to me every time. You ever play the wrong song? Do you ever? Do you ever? It's the first time I've ever done that. I like how L.O.B. says in her recap real casually, I saw a picture yesterday of a naked guy in the back of a moped and it reminded me of... Like, what?

2:34:02How did you see a picture of a naked guy? Why are you Googling, LB? Yeah, what are you doing? No, you know how it is. It's like you go to one funny website with a funny video and then you start perusing it. Yeah, there was like, I don't know, some guy, a naked guy on the back of a moped. What did it remind you of? When I was in Thailand and I got on the back of this guy's moped for like five hours. You got on the back of a stranger's moped? Yeah, I don't know why. She also took a ride from a stranger in Maui one time, right? I gave him. A ride. Yeah. She gave a stranger a ride. I know. Family show. In Maui. Just like, yeah, sure. You got on the back. Was it a Thai guy? Yeah. And he was like, don't you trust me? And telling me, give me his Buddhist bit. And I was like, okay. So. You're lucky that you're not in a Taiwanese prison right now. Yeah. Something. Everyone had been so friendly so far. Yeah, with that guy. This one's going out to all you lovers listening. Out there in radio land. He sounded like that. He did? You trusted him though, yeah, right? He was calling me my American monkey because he made me drape my arms around him because there's no seatbelt or anything. I just looked at Chris, our phone screener, when he said that and he just gave me the thumbs up. That's great. She's the American monkey. Brilliant. Okay, so I told Sienna.

2:35:32Not to tell me the answer to this question until we came back, but I want to know this. Very popular fast food restaurants changing their fries. Say it ain't so. Don't you dare, Sienna. Don't say it. Don't say it. It would never be. They wouldn't. They wouldn't. Golden Arches? Golden Arches would never change them. They couldn't. Who is it, Sienna? Don't you dare. It's not the Golden Arches. Thank God. You? It's Wendy's. Oh, no. I love their fries. I love their fries. You dip them in the Frosty, don't you? In the Frosty, yes. I'm not a lunatic, but I dip them in ketchup. I do that, Mike. Woods had the best reaction. He immediately lifted his hand, and it went right to the chest. I love Wendy's fries. They're a close second. They are a close second. They're thick. They're thick. And you like a skinny fry. Yeah, I love it. Well, everybody's favorite is McDonald's fries. Wendy's is a close second, though. Wendy's is good. I want Wendy's. I want Wendy's, too. Okay, let me tell you about what they're doing. Now, it's for the foodies. So, Mike, you may be in on this. Don't go to Real Potato. Truffle. Truffle. Truffle. Can I get a Baconator and some truffle fries? Truffle fries, yeah.

2:36:50No, russet, what are they called? Russet. Russet potatoes? Yeah. They're getting russet potatoes, they're leaving the skin on, and they're sprinkling sea salt on top of them. Oh, I'm all in. That sounds good. Get, get, get, get. Okay, now, today is apparently the first day you can get these new fries. You don't have to get them, right? No, they force you to get them. These are the new fries. You have to get them. These are the new fries. These are the new fries. This isn't like when you go to Arby's, you can get curly or regular. They should have a choice. It says Wendy's sells new fries with potato skin and sea salt. I bet you it's an option. I don't think. I think it's an option. Who makes two separate fries? Arby's does. Arby's does. They do. So does JBS, right? Yeah, they do Curly. Gotta go to Arby's. It's ridiculous. Okay, well, it says that these new fries are slightly slimmer than the old ones. The old ones. I don't know. Maybe they're still there. They didn't say the original. No, I bet they're not. They didn't say the original. Okay. What they would say, they wouldn't say old ones. Yeah, they'd say the original. Yeah. They better not. They're crispier because they're smaller and they have more salt. And then they go into a medium-sized fry goes from 350 milligrams to 500 milligrams. What does that mean? Of sodium, maybe? Yeah, sodium. Of deliciousness. Yeah, it tastes good. The selling price will not be changing. It's ranging from 99 cents to about $2.

2:38:08Gotta have them. I want to try. I want to try. I want to try. Don't knock until you try it. Why aren't they not knocking on our door with Frosties and French fries right now? I know. Russet potatoes. Baconators. How come people haven't figured out how to copy McDonald's fries? I don't know. And why are they so good? They were using the beef. lard for a while. Didn't they get in trouble for doing that? I think L.O.B. makes stuff up. I'm just going to say it. I think they used dinosaur fat. No, they were using beef lard to cook them in. And it was like, oh, so hot. And all these vegetarians were like, wait a second. Freaking vegetarians, man. They ruin everything. Just eat your stuff and let us eat. Let us do what we want. If we want to graze, let us graze. Don't eat them. Yeah, but you think that you're just trying to avoid red meat so that you... you know, keep an eye on your cholesterol and then you're eating these fries and you're like, oh my gosh. You love them, don't you? Oh, yeah. Maybe everybody just minds their own business. Okay, L.O.B., you're by yourself, nobody knows. Okay, it's midnight, all right? Uh-oh. You're going through the McDonald's drive-thru. What size fry do you order? Large. Oh, wow. Am I getting like a whole meal or just fries? Just fries. I might order two.

2:39:22I might. Two larges? How can you just get fries? No, probably a large. No, I don't think I could just get fries. You've got to get a caramel sundae to go along with it. Something like that. And a 20-pack of McNuggets and two cheeseburgers. I wouldn't savor one fry at a time. I would fistful. Oh, yeah. I'm a fistful, too. I am a fistful. Who is it? I'm a four or five. I do one at a time. I do one at a time. I take a paw. Maybe two. Like an animal. Like an animal. I just shovel them in. Filthy animal. I am an animal. You use your full hand? I go four or five. In the ketchup with a bite of burger. I use only my thumb and my index finger. Me too. And then a swallow of vanilla milkshake. I wish I could do that. Might have had it yesterday. What? Oh. Woods, you just had it like three days ago. Did you go see the wrapping McDonald's employees? Listen, no, but I had to get a PHC yesterday. Perfect haircut. Oh, yeah. Mission accomplished. Uh-huh. But I was starving and I had like 10 minutes to my apartment. And so I drove and I go. You're unbelievable. And I go, well. It's really the only thing on the way. Same guy was talking about his fat sore yesterday. Yes. Two cheeseburgers. Two fat sores. Two cheeseburgers. Large fries. And some ointment from a fat sore. Coke and a vanilla shake. Wow, Woods. You had that all in 10 minutes? You had that all in 10 minutes? Right now Woods is not in 10 minutes. You know it. You know it. It's so crazy. You got a shake and a Coke? Yes. And two burgers. Wait, wait, wait. Woods, so do you have to get the other cup holder open?

2:40:49To put it in? Yes. Oh, wow. I had to take a Gatorade bottle that I had there, cap it, throw it on the floor, and then I had a Coke, and I would do a little, if you do a little Coke and then a little vanilla, it's like a Coke float. Delicious. Did you tell your wife? No, I did not tell my wife. She does not know until right now. I do that. I'll eat, I'll go to McDonald's, I'll get the food, I'll eat it in the car like a filthy animal, okay? Really quickly. Really fast, and then when I get home, I have this routine. I get home, I pull into the garage, and I take the bag and I roll it up like a newspaper. I roll it up tight like a newspaper. And I throw it in the trash on the side of the house. And then I come in, I'm like, hi, babe. How you doing? We've all done that. Why do we do that? It's our wife. I feel like when I go to McDonald's, I feel like I'm buying drugs. Yeah. I do. And I eat it real quick in the car. It's an addiction for sure. I'm like, dude. I gotta stop. I need help. And I hardly ever go. So sometimes when I go and I like, I get just a little taste. Then like three days later, I'm like, I want it again. I gotta have it. So yeah, if I ever do that, especially when I used to live with Matt, I would like take the trash on the top of the trash can and like hide. I do it. We all do it. We've all done it. You put it on the bottom so you can't see. You pick up the top layer and you hide the bad stuff underneath. I didn't.

2:42:13We don't care. Captain Buzzkill. Captain Buzzkill. I'm agreeing with you guys for the first time ever. Oh, that's true. It's historical. I get. Are you doing finger quotes right now? Yes. What kind? What? What kind. What kind of what? What kind of happy meals? All the same? Cheeseburger? Yeah. And then I eat 10 minutes. Where do you keep all the toys? Why don't you not worry about things? They're lined up on his window in his bedroom. There's no question. Why don't you just get the two cheeseburger meal? I tell him I have it. He wants the toys, Woods. Might you get a filet of fish? No, but it's fried. Might get a diet cup. And then you want to be really healthy. You get chicken nuggets, right? Yeah, I get chicken nuggets and chicken salad. It's nice and lean. And I get Angus beef.

2:43:26We all wish. And lettuce is a vegetable. Tomatoes. That's true. I don't know if they qualify as actual tomatoes. Fries are potatoes. No. That's true. Every day. Probably why you're obese. What? I love you guys. Love you too. Wow. He's coming around. Maybe it's a food thing. Could have been the food thing. Won him over. We got him. It's all Try Wendy's today. I want to see what those are like. Do they have one anywhere near here? There's one in PB on Grand. And then while you're at it, go to McDonald's on Nobel Drive. That's near my house. There's one in El Centro. I think Oceanside has one. Oceanside has one. That's great. Okay, so I didn't get to the Oprah stuff. Probably won't. I'm bored of it now. Me too. Oh, well. Okay, so we've discussed this before, but I still find it deplorable that a guy would do this. What percentage of us dudes listening have done this on a date? I can tell you, I have never one time have I ever done this on a date. And I really hope Jay and Woods haven't because I will lose.

2:44:52Complete respect if you have. If it's you, it must be kissing a girl. On FM 94.9. Okay, so we've had this discussion before, but I figured it was worth talking about again if a guy does this. Goes on a date and uses a coupon. Dork. Absolutely. But not just a dork. Classless. Cheap dork. Yes. First date? Only if it's a first date. What if it's a fifth date? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still a dork. I'm okay with fifth date. I'm okay with fifth. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you flat out.

2:46:11He does not use a coupon until you are in a committed relationship. Exactly. Until you are BG or what is it? BFGF. By fifth date. Unless you can poo in front of him, don't use a coupon. Oh, stop. That should be the rule. You can't ever do that. Well, I can now. In the same room. I'm not saying in front of him. Unless you can say, hey, I have to go poo. then don't use a coupon. If you can say to your woman, listen, I need to go poo, coupons are free. Alright, I'm not mad at that. Yeah, that should be the rule. I don't do that now. You can say it. You could say, I gotta go poo. You don't? You don't say I have to go poo? Never. You tell us. I tell you, I don't tell my wife. You guys. That's amazing. Yeah, I want to kiss my wife. You don't poo with your mouth. I know, but... I don't want her to think of me like that. As a poor? No. As a human? No. She doesn't. There's a book. No, she doesn't. We all. There's a book. Girls don't. Girls don't. I'm going to get a book for you and I'm going to get one copy for you and one copy for Jake called Everybody Poops. We have it.

2:47:19Have you read it? I have not. And I refuse to believe that you do, Lauren, or you do, Sienna, or that my wife does. We drop roses. That actually, I would rather say you have to poop than say I'm not around it. My grandma says you drop a rose, and that's a fart, not a poop. Alright, here we go. Same thing, though. The reason that the coupon is so tacky is because you don't want to imply that you are Cheap. Yeah, that you're cheap and, you know. You're just frugal. But some girls. Code for cheap. Some girls appreciate a frugal guy. Yeah, you're planning for the future. L-O-B. What? You appreciate a frugal guy? If he's, like, crafty about it, yes. Maybe you guys just steal from the supermarket. Then you don't even have to pay for it. So you're telling me if you went on a date with a guy and he did that, it wouldn't bother you? No. Oh, L-O-B. If it was date five. Date one, it would. Date one, it would. Date one, I would be like, you are a monster. Okay, I got a wrinkle for this real quick. What about a gift card? What are you talking about? Same thing. What if he's got a Donovan's gift card? Is that a little better than this bit? The giant folded.

2:48:36Are you kidding me? You wanted a golf tournament? No. Gift cards just as fast. Would you do that, Jay? Absolutely. 100% I'd use a gift card. No. It's the same as cash. It's the same as cash. I don't care what it is. But here's the sly deal I would do anyway. I would walk up and take care of it. I was like, I'll be right back. And I would take care of it away from the table. If I had a gift card to Donovan's, it was $100. I won it at a golf tournament. And I meet a new girl. God forbid I'm ever single again. I meet a new girl and I take her to dinner. I might throw the gift card in behind my credit card or do what Jay just did. If no harm, no foul, right? There's no difference. No, I'm sorry, but I want to see. Harm and foul? Harm and foul. I want to see that you really want to take me to date and you want to pay for my meal. I want to see your cash. But I make like $300 a week and I can't, you know. Then don't go to Donovan's. Yeah, then don't go to Donovan's. But I also want to see you naked. I don't want to take you to Applebee's. No, you can go to California Pizza Kitchen or something like that. Really? Yeah, it's all right. Girls love the chain restaurant first date. Hey, let's go to Applebee's. We'll get some skillets. Well, you just said if you can't afford it, you have to do something. But I got a gift card, so I can't afford it. You look like a tool. But you don't look like it because they don't know. Watch this. If the girl is at the same time, then I'm not in for it anyway. It isn't a matter of big time. They'll see it when it comes back. I throw that in.

2:50:00Yeah, and then you know what you get? Yeah, then you get this. Sir, you gave me a gift card and a credit card. Are you out of your mind? No, no, no. I didn't know if you wanted me to get it. Are you out of your mind? Shut up. No. Shut up. Did you want me to split it or do you want me to? Sir, you gave me a gift card. There's not. There's only like a dollar left. So did you want to leave the tip separately? Or for some weird reason, it didn't like... You're right. You just sold me into never doing it. Just don't do it at the table. What if the card didn't register and they come back and they're like, oh, sir, there's nothing on your gift card. I'm not sure if whoever bought this for you activated it. But Jay's bit of getting up from the table to go pay the bill, you might as well have a giant... rainbow afro on just calling attention to yourself? She's like, where are you going? Oh, I'm going to go pay the bill. Well, why don't you wait for the waitress to come over? Are you psychotic?

2:50:57Or wait until she's in the bathroom. No, it makes you seem big time. She's like, well, we've got to wait for the bill. And you're like, no, we can go and go. I've already handled it. And you just walk away, like, big time. Can you, though? No. I don't know that you can really walk away from that and look okay. No. Yes. Oh, 100%. That's happened to me before. You're right. My dad does that all the time. I'm sold. I would never do it. M1, Skylar from Carlsbad is on the line. Are you there, Skylar? Yes, sir. Go ahead. Hey, what if on a date, the girl... If a girl wants to use a coupon, you know, I'm planning on paying, but she busts out with a coupon. That's pretty cool. That's a cool girl. If a girl busted out a coupon, I would, you know. She's going to get lucky. You're not doing anything wrong. Of course she is. As a guy. If you took her to Donovan's and she goes, oh my God, I just remember, I've got $50 off here. Here. I'd be like, no, no. And I would too. I would say, you know what, save that so you can use that at another time. And then if she forced you to use it, then you should go after somewhere and get like a coffee. Or a dessert for her or something. I get a dessert for her. Oh, boy. Sorry, I just checked out of my body. Skylar. It's a good point, though. Hillary, what would if a guy took you on your first date and he busted out a coupon? Would you be cool with it? Be honest. Put on the honest cap. Would you be? Honest cap.

2:52:19I want to say. I know what you want to say. In your head, would you be like, money isn't important. Yeah, right. But I would make a mental note. Yes, absolutely. You chalk it up. I gotta agree with that same approach. You chalk it up and you go. That's a cheap sort of bitch right there. I think I would say something. I would be like, really? Coupon? Hey, what's going on? Coupon? Hey, coupon pants. Hey, coupon face. I think coupon, but gift card? Come on. Maybe next time I wear a turtleneck. Wait a minute. Hillary, what would you do at the end of a date if the guy was like, doing the thing where it's like he's waiting for both of you to pull out a credit card. You know how a girl always does the thing? A girl will always do the thing where she doesn't assume, so she starts to take out a credit card or money or whatever. Totally. I used to do that all the time. What would you do if the guy let you? On a first date? Yes. That's the most hideous thing. You know what I think I would do? I would assume that he wasn't serious and that it wasn't going to be romantic. Yeah. I would be like, oh, okay. We're buddies.

2:53:35You know, because for as much as I, like, am all about feminism and that women deserve equal opportunities across the board, equal pay, you name it, I still like chivalry. Of course. My dad was very chivalrous to my mom. And to my sister and I, like, taught us that that's, like, you know. Of course. That's the thing. I mean, you pay. You pay until you're engaged almost. Seriously. I mean, that's the thing. Men out there pay. Guess who's in the studio? Garrett! Garrett! Yeah, I agree. I'll let my wife pay now. I'll let my wife pay now. I'll let my wife pay now. Garrett is actually here because he's going to... Well, there's some really cool... Today's a really cool and special day for FM 94.9. Well, at first it's Veterans Day and I never want to ever forget that. It's important to always mark. as November 11th is Veterans Day. But additionally, it's a cool day for FM 94.9 because it is the actual anniversary of the radio station. And the other thing that's cool is I just found out this week that for the eighth year in a row, FM 94.9 was voted the favorite radio station in San Diego by the leaders of City Beat. So cool, man. So that's awesome. Sweet. And it was eight years ago.

2:55:03at 10 a.m. that I got to walk into the old studio and take over what was then B-94-9, the best hits of the 80s more. Nice. And we launched this radio station, and we launched it with a pretty weird and unconventional song for an alternative rock station. But, you know, for anybody who's a Quentin Tarantino fan... and love the movie Reservoir Dogs. We wanted to launch something with some attitude and some vibe. And if you've seen the movie and you've seen the intro of the movie and you'll see how it starts, you'll get it. But there's a lot of people who... And weirdly enough, we're listening that day. Maybe it's because they were waiting to hear, I don't know, like Soft Cells Tainted Love or something. But we came on and they were kind of shocked with what we had to say and what we were going to do. And it's funny how oftentimes we'll get an email or a phone call from somebody going, hey, what was that song? What was that song? So I thought it would be cool today to kick off Hillary's show. She's kind enough to let us do so by playing that song and exactly how we launched FM 94.9 eight years ago. Awesome. Can we just do it?

2:56:07Yes, do me a favor. Can you just do the legal ID live? Yeah, KBZT San Diego. There you go. KBilly's super sounds of the 70s weekend just keeps on coming with this little ditty that reached up to 21 in May of 1970. The George Baker selection little green bag.