The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/14/11
Monday, November 14, 2011
Penn State scandalJoe Paterno's responsibilityradio comedyunusual phobiasaccidental text messageworkplace sick leavefatherhoodcombat sportswaterboardingvideo gamesradiocomedy
The show centered on the Penn State scandal: Mikey and Woodsy described the Penn State-Nebraska prayer, then joined caller Gabriel in a sharp argument over whether Joe Paterno's report of Mike McQueary's account was enough to protect children from Jerry Sandusky. Lauren O'Brien later revealed that she accidentally texted Mikey an explicit photo intended for her boyfriend Matt Commerce, and the crew also reveled in Jimmy Fallon's Jim Morrison-style Reading Rainbow performance, bizarre phobias, and a chaotic Name That Tune game. A long workplace argument split Mikey and Lauren, who favored compassion after a breakup, from Woodsy and Jay, who said employees should show up unless truly sick; Mikey then turned the criticism on himself by admitting he sometimes uses work to avoid fatherhood. The show also covered Cain Velasquez losing to Junior dos Santos in the UFC's Fox debut, Manny Pacquiao singing, Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann defending waterboarding, and Jay's overnight Call of Duty binge.
What happened, in order
Penn State midfield prayer
Mikey and Woodsy described Penn State and Nebraska gathering in a kneeling midfield prayer before an emotional game played amid the Jerry Sandusky scandal.
Did Paterno do enough?
Caller Gabriel argued that Joe Paterno let football outweigh abused children, while Mikey defended Paterno for promptly reporting what Mike McQueary told him and Woodsy grew more suspicious of a long-running cover-up.
Jim Morrison reads the rainbow
The crew played Jimmy Fallon singing the Reading Rainbow theme in a remarkably accurate Jim Morrison voice and marveled that the impression had not become a recurring television bit.
Name That Tune mutiny
A charity-themed Name That Tune game dissolved into accusations of broken buzzers, improvised point values, a nine-point question, and Lauren winning while Woodsy protested the scoring.
The strangest phobias
Listeners and hosts traded unusual aversions including rubber crutch pads, teddy bears, the abrupt 'Sit, Ubu, sit' television tag, and the sensation of washing wooden utensils.
Lauren's catastrophic text
Lauren O'Brien confessed that she accidentally sent Mikey an explicit photo of a well-endowed man that she had intended as a joke for her boyfriend, Matt Commerce.
Fights reach prime time
The hosts marked the UFC's Fox debut and Cain Velasquez's first defeat to Junior dos Santos, then mocked Manny Pacquiao's enthusiastic post-fight singing.
Chelsea Hotel legends
A documentary about the Chelsea Hotel prompted stories about Nancy Spungen's death and a bizarre alarm in which firefighters reportedly mistook smoke from burned meat for a fire and accidentally drowned an elderly reside
Heartbreak versus the time clock
Mikey and Lauren argued that an employee devastated by a breakup should be allowed a day off, while Woodsy and Jay insisted adults should report to work unless they are actually sick.
Mikey's bad-dad mirror
Mikey admitted that he sometimes hides in his office under the banner of providing for his family, acknowledged that avoiding diapers and time with his children makes him a worse father, and urged other parents to examin
Waterboarding on the debate stage
After hearing Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann defend waterboarding, the hosts debated whether simulated drowning is torture and whether information gained from interrogations can justify it.
Call of Duty takes over
Jay described playing Modern Warfare 3 for hours and staying online with Adam until 3 a.m., prompting jokes about neglected family duties and amazement at players who had already completed every rank.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienJayGabrielJoe PaternoJerry SanduskyMike McQuearyJimmy FallonJim MorrisonMatt CommerceCain VelasquezJunior dos SantosManny Pacquiao
31,671 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's Monday. That quick. Hope your weekend was good. We are in and ready to roll. It's Mikey's show. And phone lines open for you. 570-1949. And you can also call. Excuse me. You can also text. It's 949mikey at gmail.com. Didn't get to see much football this weekend. So it'll be good to talk to Woodsy. Find out what was going on. What was happening. And all that good stuff. And also find out what happened with everybody over the weekend, what everybody did. And I want to hear from you, too. Whatever you did, you can give us a call. We have so much stuff. There is a lot. There's a lot of news, especially sports today. There's a lot going on in the sports world today. Beauty of a Monday, my friend. That's right. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am.
41. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36. And he's doing the knit cap, which I like. I think the knit cap is a good look. A little chilly this morning. Yeah. It's starting to get cold everywhere. Thank you. Appreciate it. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. And we call her L.O.B. because her name is Lauren O'Brien. And L.O.B. is for short. Let's see. Jay is our executive producer. He's 48 years of age. He's waving right now. He has Coachella bracelet on still. Still rocking that thing. In April. Yeah. Coachella. It was a long time ago. It was a good weekend. Yeah. So good, in fact, that you keep the bracelet on for eight months. Yeah. He really, really likes it. And screening phones for us is a lovely young gal named Nicole. There she is. And if you want to talk to Nicole, you can. Just call us, 570-1949, and she will answer the phone and say hi to you. And she'll put you through if you're a good call. Although, when we start the show, we want to give you the opportunity to call about anything. Prize today, the sold-out Yo Gabba Gabba Live. If you've got kids, this is a good prize for you. We're also going to throw in Body Expo tickets for the word of the day. And the word of the day is platform.
So when I say platform sometime between now and 10, caller 9, you are going to be real lucky and you get to do that. Also, at 7.30 this morning, I will be discussing something that we know about, but you're all going to find out about. When Woods found out about it, he was speechless. It has to do with Lauren. Yep. And a mistake that Lauren made. Oopsie. Over the weekend. Forgive me, everyone. And it is a doozy. It's a real doozy. It will get you. That's right. Woodsy, was the Penn State game televised nationally? Yes. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.
Because of what happened. It was scheduled to be televised anyway, but it just so happens that all this culminated on the field on Saturday. And if you didn't see it, you missed a very, very emotional scene. And a very cool scene, I guess. If you're a college football fan like I am, Penn State comes walking out of the locker room in arms, all holding arms, locked arms, slow. As slow as they could go out to the middle of the field. Then Nebraska leaves their sideline. They all join in the middle. Giant, you know, just blob of people. All praying. And all down in the middle of the field. They take a knee kind of thing? They all took a knee, yeah. That's so awesome. It was really special. That's awesome. Really special. And, you know, there was a game to be played. And Penn State actually came up a little bit short. But, you know, I found myself pulling for those kids. You know, wanting them to win. It was emotional. And they talked to Jay Paterno after Joe's kid. They talked to him after the game. And he got real emotional and choked up about talking about his dad. And, man, it was a scene is the best way to describe it. Yeah, I mean, and everybody knows what happened with Penn State. If you don't, you've been sleeping under a rock. Right. This guy Jerry Sandusky is a pervert. And over the last 15 years had been molesting kids.
Boys. Boys. And it was found out. And now it has turned into the biggest scandal in college football history. Yeah. I mean, in these days, it's the biggest story in our country. I mean, they're leading off, you know, the Today Show talking about it. Absolutely. This is the mom of one of the alleged victims on Good Morning America. When was the first time you suspected that something was wrong with the relationship? My son started acting out. I went to the school counselors. She doesn't have a deep voice. They're altering it. Oh, thank you. And it was basically, they said a puberty thing. And at some point he came to you and he said he wanted some information about how to look up sex weirdos? Yes. What did you think of that? I asked him who he was looking up.
And he said he wanted to see if Jerry was on there. And I said, well, why would you look him up? And he said, I don't know. He's a weirdo. Gosh, darn. Yeah. And if you read the grand jury report, which Mike and I both did, you'll see the weirdness in the way that he was able to, like, lure and bait these kids and some of the moves that he would do. It's repulsive when you read it. It's physically, it will make you sick. Yeah, it will. It's tough to get through. I saw a headline, although I didn't see it myself, but Saturday Night Live, I guess, did find a way to work this. Oh, yeah. I didn't see it. I saw it. You saw it? It was great. Yeah. It was Seth Meyers and Jason Sudeikis. Jason Sudeikis used to play Satan, and he'll come on sometimes. Right. So he came on and... And Seth Meyers was like, well, you heard about the scandal in Penn State? And he's like, oh, yeah, let's sit over some tattoos or something like that those kids did. And he's like, oh, I don't want to say it out loud. I guess I'll tell you. So he whispers it in his ear. And Jason Sudeikis, as Satan, is going, oh, no. Oh, gosh. It's even awful to the double. He quit. He actually broke his pitch for it. He's like, I'm out. I'm out. I'm going back to my old job. Yeah, he was like, well.
Gosh, poor Joe Paterno. I mean, that's who I feel bad for in this. I mean, he just has this happening right under him. And Seth Meyers says, well, that's the thing. He knew about it. And he says he knew about it and he called the police. Right. He goes, come on. And then, like Jay said, he finally quit. He said, evil's just not what it used to be. He said he was going to go back to what he was doing before he became Satan, which was being a telemarketer for a cable company. That's pretty good. It's pretty good. Kind of true. Yeah. I mean, it's just, oh, my gosh, man. It's so bad. It's so bad. And the redheaded assistant, Mike McQueary, did not make the trip or did not go on the field. They have now put him on leave. By the way, you know that this dude is out. In fact, Woods told me that the guy was shopping. This guy Sandusky was, like, shopping in town.
In a store wearing Penn State gear. Are you kidding me? That's what his reports I saw. He's out on bail. Which, number one, is, you know, I had a talk with my friend at home, Bark Malman. He goes, dude, there's no way the guy's on bail. I go, bro, he's on bail. Like, he's out. Not only is he on bail, out on bail, but apparently the judge is a woman that, her name is Leslie Ducho. And I think that's the way he... pronounce it because it appears to be spelled like kind of French. It's either that or Dutch caught. But I'm going to say do show. I don't know. But anyway, she volunteered for his charity Second Mile, which is where he was. Yeah, that's where he was getting these kids. And she apparently volunteered for Second Mile and she's the one that's let him go on bail. How's that not a conflict? Uh, hello. That's shocking. Yeah. And this guy just is out there brazen. Yeah. Well, that's been that guy's problem for the last 15 years. He's the most brazen guy ever. He's still walking around campus for the last 15 years. It's like, I don't think he thought he was doing anything wrong. And here's the thing with this guy. His logic is probably telling him, well, if I'm going to act innocent, an innocent guy would be out. No, he wouldn't, actually.
No, he actually wouldn't. No matter what, you would lay low. No matter what. He'd be mortified. Yeah. Mortified of these allegations. Of course. Somebody's going to shoot him. Yeah. Somebody's going to take care of him. Yeah. You know, and I even thought to myself, I wonder if this guy is trying to commit suicide by having somebody kill him. Yeah. Maybe. Being out there, you know, because everybody wants this guy dead. Yeah. Really, really gnarly, man. Oh, and Franco Harris. Penn State alum. Legend. Legend. Pittsburgh Steeler legend. And he feels pretty bad for Paterno. You know, my family was in town this weekend, and we were all talking about it. And a lot of my family was kind of on the same boat that I was where I feel kind of bad for Paterno because I feel like he did do something. holding him to this level of like, well, you should have done this and you should have done this is all a hindsight kind of thing. My wife couldn't disagree more. She could not disagree more. She said, if it was me, I would have called 911. I would have called the police, blah, blah, blah. And I want to believe that I would have called the police, you know, but I don't know. I don't know. So this is Franco Harris talking to reporters outside of Paterno's house.
It kind of pisses me off, you know, that they would attack his moral character. You know, because, you know, like, when I see Joe, and when Joe said that, you know, he wished he would have done more, I said, that's vintage Joe. And that's his character. He would not say, hey, who I pass it on to should have done their job. They should have done it. He takes it upon himself, and he's probably feeling guilty himself, knowing that they failed in their job, but my feeling is, hey, but that's a joke. To me, that shows his character. You know, to me, it's such a polarizing issue, but I agree with Franco Harris in that, to me, that's a good guy reaction. You know, if you're a bad guy, you try to defend it. And deflect. Yes, and you try to deflect. I think if you're a good guy and you got a good character, you go, gosh, darn it. I wish I'd have done more. I wish I'd have done more. I don't know. Like I said, it's so polarizing that it's hard to get people to agree on it. I disagree with my wife about it. 570-194-9 is the number. Hey, by the way, Justin Timberlake paid off.
that thing where he said that he would go to the Marine Corps ball. What's the Marine Corps ball with that chick over the weekend? I wonder if he got lucky. I think she's married. No, she's not. She's not married? She's single. She is? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know if they're going to be a couple, though. Well, one night bit, maybe. She was hoping for, like, maybe a good night kiss, or at least a dance-off. They didn't say. They haven't said whether or not any good night kiss took place or anything. That's too bad. They said he was acting, people that were there said he was just acting like a normal dude, just taking pictures, sitting at the table. I thought that was pretty cool. Are we about to make out right now? I don't know. I bet they did not, especially because if he did kiss her, she could say that he tried to do something and sue him for a million dollars. Yeah. That's a good point. That's true. Got to be careful these days. Probably keeping his hands to himself. I just hope this isn't all too good to be true, hee hee. Burning Man is going to do their thing different. Jay. When? Wow, how? You're going to wear a bracelet for nine months. Jay still has his Burning Man bracelet on him. He burned it. Chances that Jay will still have his Burning Man. You couldn't... There's not enough. There's nothing. To go to Burning Man? There's not enough.
Samsonite's full of hundreds. No. It's not enough for me to go to that. So much fun. I couldn't tie you up, bind you, and drag you there. No. You know, there's other things to do besides ecstasy. Yes. Mike. What about being around all of it, though, Jay? We don't have to get involved. There's so much art. There's art. You can't avoid it. Mike, there's art there. Yeah. There's breasts. There's nude breasts. Oh, gosh. There's sand. There's sand. Oh, boy. There's sand. Sandstorm. There's painted breasts. Yes. If you're in on that. Who isn't? People dancing. Oh, yeah. You know, like they're on ecstasy because they are. Giant fires. Giant fires. You've got to wear your ski goggles. Otherwise, you're going to get sandblasted. Oh, boy. Well, anyway, the deal is that they've had their first sellout. in 26 years of doing it and so what they've decided that they're going to do is sell tickets under a lottery system instead of first come first serve so and the reason that they're doing it by the way is they want to eliminate the rush to buy tickets online because you don't want people to get online trampled right right online suffocated online suffocated we should just go and do a broadcast our whole show we should
Man, I'm all in. I almost threw up in my mouth. We could make it a work thing. I almost threw up. I can write it off, Mike. I don't think we'd be friends after that. No. If we saw Jay's behavior at Birmingham. That sounds horrific. And Jay's behavior, I don't think, and maybe this is naive of me, I don't think his behavior changes much. No, not much. I just wouldn't have any clothes on. Yeah. Can I stir your coffee? With the laugh. With the self-laugh. Your coffee. Salt and pepper in my coffee. No thanks. I'll pass. I take sugar and cream in my face. Not salt and pepper. Get you covered on that. Oh my gosh. I was thinking it, but it's so creepy. Why are you the way that you are?
So anyway, if you want to go to Burning Man, just know that's the way it's going to happen. 110 miles north of Reno. Sounds like a nightmare. We'll do a road trip out there. You said you wanted to go camping. Let's go camping there. That's it. That is awful. That is the worst thought that I can bring to my mind. M1 Gabriel from Oak Park. Hi. I just can't feel sorry for the guy for Paterno. I feel like maybe if it was one incident with Sandansky, like one thing, but this is over a period of years, things kept getting brought up, and it just seems like football was more important, and it's disgusting to me. I just can't stand it. I don't see how you can let it go that many years and be like, oh, I did what I was supposed to do, and know that it's still going on. So do you think, and I think that this is fair of you to think, but I just want to be sure.
You think that he thought that Penn State football was a bigger deal than boys getting molested? At this point. I mean, like I said, if it was one incident, then I could think that he's thinking, oh, maybe they're still trying to do something about it. But if this got brought up multiple times... Well, I mean, to me, all I know about is that this kid came to him and said, this is what I saw. And the very next day, he called over the athletic director to his house and reported what he saw. I think to myself, if he didn't care and Penn State football was more important to him, then I would think that he wouldn't even do that, that he wouldn't tell anybody. And then what we want him to do beyond that, when all you want to do is wash and scrub your mind so that you don't even know about it because it makes you sick, and then we're expecting him to be like, I need to revisit this. I need to just keep pushing this. I need to keep pressing this.
When in your life, regardless of what you do for a living, you're going about your life trying to live your life and do your job. And people are expecting this to become the focus of his life, which for that period it did. He called the athletic director. For me, I want to give the guy some grace and say, I think he did something. In fact, I think he did more than a lot of us would do. You would like to think that at the very least they'd do what he did. Remember also that he had to sit in meetings with Mike McQuarrie every day. You know, Mike McQuarrie's a football coach, and so is Joe Paterno. And, you know, those cats were in meetings all the time. Also, walking around their campus, working out in their gym is Jerry Sandusky. Priority number one should have been to get that dude out of here and keep him gone. You know, the status he was granted in 99. Retiring, mind you. as one of the best defensive coordinators, if not the best defensive coordinator in the country, I think there's going to be more that comes out that show it was kind of one of those retirements like, hey, you've got to hang them up now before all this stuff gets out. I had a lot more sympathy for Joe Paterno when I thought that that was an isolated incident. And he was kind of like, that's just beyond what my mind can wrap around. And then when you find out that that was in 2002.
and there was allegations back in 98, all these things. Then I'm like, okay, I wonder if it was a little bit of sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, you know, just not my problem sort of thing. I mean, he had to go, and he's gone. And now he's lawyered up, and there's going to be civil suits, they're saying, against him and the rest of those guys. I heard this clip I'm about to play for you, and I said to myself, holy cow, you want to hear a dude. Do a dead-on, spot-on Jim Morrison. And in addition to doing a spot-on Jim Morrison, he's singing the song Reading Rainbow. Do you guys remember that as a kid, Reading Rainbow? Take a look. It's in a book. That's it. Reading Rainbow. You don't know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He sings the Reading Rainbow song as Jim Morrison. All the way in. I'll play it for you and then tell you who it is next. Hi, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic.
Excellent. Huh? Mikey. 570-1949. Ha, ha, ha. Or text. That is funny. At 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. in just a couple. FM 94.9. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection. Plus, we're San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. And we're centrally located on Convoy Street in Kearney Mesa. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru construction sale going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego. Or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. A Sunrow dealership. 2011 Forster Lease Model BMPs for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter and 6,650 due at least signing. No security deposit. Unapproved above average credit. One at this payment. Fin 7834.
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We can't say enough good things about the new 2012 Ford Focus, but two points are definitely worth repeating. 40 MPG, 169 a month. Yes, it offers available hands-free sync technology. 40 MPG, 169 a month. It has over a dozen class-exclusive features. 40 MPG, 169 a month. Its sleek new design will be the envy of your friends. 40 MPG, 169 a month. But all you really need to remember is that Ford Focus is one incredible car. 40 MPG. At one. incredible lease payment. Just $169 a month for 27 months with $27.78 Do It signing. This offer won't last long, so hurry to your San Diego County Ford dealer. EPA estimate for highway mileage of Focus SE with SFE. Don't drive while distracted. Only use phones and other devices when safe. Not all will qualify for low mileage Ford Credit red carpet lease. Payments may vary. Dealers determine prices. Lessee responsible for excess wear and mileage over 23,625 miles at 20 cents per mile. Take retail delivery from dealer stock by 11-30-11. Attention, all men with a beer belly. Research from the Mayo Clinic proves that men who carry fat in their midsection have a higher risk of health problems such as heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, and even cancer.
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My wife, Jamie, was turned on to Ovation a while ago. Her hair looks fantastic. It looks better than it's ever looked. So I wanted to get in on the action. I've been using it. Now I've got the Men's Max Pack, so I'm going to be using it forever. If you're looking for a special stocking stuffer to give to a good friend, a lover, a buddy, get them Ovation, okay? It's Ovation Cell Therapy. Beautiful, healthy hair. Thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. Here's what you got to do. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout. That's right. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout. Profil Institute for Clinical Research is looking for people diagnosed with type 1 diabetes to participate in a clinical research study. Profil Institute is comparing an investigational long-acting insulin to FDA-approved lattice in people with type 1 diabetes. This study is not intended to treat your medical condition. If you are interested in participating in this clinical research study, call Profil Institute today at 1-866-245-4719. To qualify, you must be an 18 to 60-year-old type 1 diabetic. If you qualify, you may be compensated up to $2,362.30. Up to two overnights will be required. To find out more, please call Profil Institute at 1-866-245-4719. Or you can go online to visit profilinstitute.com for current study information.
Once again, if you are an 18 to 60-year-old type 1 diabetic and able to do two overnights, you may qualify for a clinical research study. That number again is 1-866-245-4719. 1-866-245-4719. Classic American nostalgia rolls into town when Good Guys returns to the Del Mar Fairhouse. November 25th, 6th and 7th. It's the Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals Car Show presented by McGuire. Three days of over 1,500. 100 candy-cutter cars and trucks, plus vendor exhibits, a mega swap meet, cars for sale, live entertainment, model car show, a way cool surf woody exhibition, the Tiger Screech and Good Guys Autocross, and so much more. And don't miss the Super Sunday Get-Together, open to all years American-made and powered vehicles. The perfect event for the entire family. The Good Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals presented by McGuire. November 25th through the 27th at the Del Mar Fair. Get details and purchase your tickets today at good-guys.com. Get $3 off general admission when you bring a new unwrapped toy to the event in association with Toys for Tots and the Wounded Warriors program. Win four tickets to Jerome's best seat in the house at the Holiday Hootenanny. Sit in style on a Jerome's double reclining glider loveseat while enjoying the show. Go to FM94.9.com for details. Jerome's, where Jerry's price is the absolute lowest price. Buy it today and have it in your home tonight.
This report is brought to you by Allstate, just in time for Thanksgiving. Allstate's giving every driver in America a free lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance. All you have to do is call. So back up this morning as you travel on to the 54 eastbound Lakeview Avenue all the way down to Galopo Street. It's about six miles an hour. Also, some real delays here on the five southbound Imperial Avenue to 28th Street National Avenue. It's about 10 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Constant Contact. Getting ready for small business Saturday. Make sure to get your free promotional tools from Constant Contact. Visit ConstantContact.com slash Saturday. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, get up. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in the ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts and reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. The Mikey Show has advanced into the next round on the R Factor. Oh, yeah. It is a true story. Yes way.
Yes way. Yes way. I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like. So what you got to do is you got to go to our website or our webpage. You can go to MikeyShow.com. There's a link. And there's also going to be a link on Facebook.com slash MikeyShow. And it's a way for you to vote for the Mikey Show to get us into the final round, which is shaping up to be between me and Boston Rob. which is so weird. Oh, man. You know, that's weird. We just think some mud. Oh, boy. Leave the mudslinging to them. Yes. I'm not a mudslinger. You want me to do it? No, I do not. I do not. M1 versus P1. Make it real good. Oh, yeah. We'll go get them. Yeah, we got to do it. We got to show them what we got. We got to show them what we got, little mama. Keep it classy, though. That's what I'm saying. We've got to keep it classy. Stay classy. Stay classy, San Diego. That's right. Right? You must, or I would be upset. Oh, hell. LLB did something yesterday. We're still going to talk about it? At 730. Oh, boy. I cannot wait. Her mistake. There's no way. There's no way, right? Okay. Because there's no way, right?
I would do it on purpose? Why would I do that? Oh, don't miss this one, guys. Do not miss it. 7.30. Holy crap. 7.30. 7.30. 7.30. Big ol' creep. Not creep. Creep. Creep. Aren't. No, it's not creepy. Oh, no. It's just isn't. It's an oversight. Isn't. It. Creep. Dang. It's the most hideous thing. Yeah. And at 7.30, you get to find out about it, just like the rest of us. Can you just tell me my name's Lauren? Oh. All I will tell you about it is that it shocked me. It was shocking. I almost cried. To say the least. That's what I'm best at. Shock shock. Okay, so take a listen to this. It's pretty amazing. Reading Rainbow. Woods does not remember Reading Rainbow. He doesn't remember Reading Rainbow, doesn't remember the song, Reading Rainbow. This is a person that is doing a Jim Morrison imitation.
and singing Reading Rainbow. Take a listen. The door. Isn't that amazing? Oh my God. That's Jim Morrison. That's dead on. I can go. I can go. He's about to do the scream, the Jim Morrison. Jimmy Fallon. That's Jimmy. Shut your mouth. That is Jimmy Fallon. Wow. If I knew him, that's all I would do is go, please do it again. Please do it. Just do it. That is great. It's amazing. Oh, my God. It's amazing. I'm flabbergasted. That is identical. Identical, Jim Morrison. Wow. That is cool. Wouldn't you just want to grab your guitar and just go, come on, let's just for everybody, let's just do your bit. Share your gift. Yes.
I never do that, honestly. Never. Dude, do you think that Lorne Michaels is probably watching that going, what is your problem? Yeah, why didn't you tell me? I bet he brought it up. Yeah. Because most of the people on there, they write for themselves or they bring skits forward, you know, and they were probably like, there's no place for it. Yeah. There's no place for it. I bet you he was walking around his offices and was doing it. They're like, hey, we got to write a bit for this tonight. And he's like, really? Is it okay? He's not relevant. I love the angle he took, too, with all the books. Yeah, it's so great. It's because they're reading Rainbow. That is something. Listen, I was going through the audio this morning before we started. I hear that, and my jaw drops open. And my eyes get big and I'm like, that is Jimmy Fallon. That's unbelievable. Doing a crazy good. I wonder how the two came together. I know. If you want to play Name That Tune, call us right now. 570-1949. That's rad. Jay, what's the prize? Oh, Jay just ran away. The prize is something. I don't have a sheet. Oh, well, okay.
Shut up, Mike. Mike, you S.O.B. Always put me on the spot. You knew it. You knew it, Mike. You knew it. You knew it, Mike. You knew it. You just want to make me look stupid. How does he keep going? I bet he's making waffles or something. He's back there making waffles. Yeah, making breakfast. What? Okay, now I know what the prize is. What is it? It is a Ben 10. Galactic Racing for the Nintendo Wii based on Ben 10 Cartoon Network Series in stores now. Video game for the Nintendo. I don't hear it, Mike. I can't. I don't. What? That's upset. I just developed. I just came to me right now. That's upset straight talking Jay. Yeah. Yep. I don't hear it, Mike. Hard K. Hard K. I don't hear it, Mike. Mike. I don't hear it. I do not hear it. Nintendo. There you are. There it is. Nintendo. Thank you. Kind of it. It's kind of it. What do you mean kind of? It's pretty much there. Nintendo. Nintendo. Nintendo. There you go. You got it. Hey, look at me. There you go. Hey, I'm going to kill you all. Mike. Mike. Wow. All right.
Let's get some people on the line. Let's play this game. Now, the way that you play Name That Tune is you call and you either pick me, Woods, or L-O-B to represent you in Name That Tune. Regardless of what happens, we have a... Fake buzzer. We've got a buzzer here, and the buzzer is electronic, so whoever hits it first, it goes off. Even though Woods, regardless. Yeah. Will feel that he's been cheated. Yes. He will feel that people are taking advantage of him. Poor fella. But the truth is, is that there is no arguing with an electronic device. Isn't there? Well, I don't know how you would do it. I'll show you. I don't know how you would say it. We've seen it. I'll show you. 5701949. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want to represent you? There you go. M1. Allie from El Cajon, who do you want? L-O-B. Yeah, girl. You got it? It is no surprise that I will be taken last from M1 Josh, from Del Mar, and you hang in line, okay? All right. All right. Now, what is the theme, Jay? These are all songs that can relate to our Show Us Your Cans food drive that's going on this Friday at Dave & Buster's. What does that mean?
Songs like about giving and helping. Oh, I see. I see. Boobs, Mike. Food. All right. Now, what do we need to give you? Title? Title or artist. Title or artist will do it for us. And like Jay said, this week, or on Friday, we will be out from right after our show. Well, 9 a.m. we'll start taking, the promotions team will be down there at Dave & Buster's. Dave & Buster's. And you can start bringing cans down there. Anybody that brings. Four cans? At least four cans. Well, anybody who brings any kind of cans gets a $10 gift card or a power card to Dave & Buster's. Right on. And then whoever brings the most is getting four tickets to the Hootenanny, including Adam's, I think he got a limo, and then signed paraphernalia from the bank. Dang. Wow. Probably not paraphernalia, probably memorabilia. Oh, yeah, that's right. Paraphernalia is something different. Right. Wow. Yeah, paraphernalia is like needles and bongs. But they will sign it. Yeah, maybe. 570-1949. All right, so here we go, and it is songs that have to do with niceness, charity, whatever. Allegedly. Allegedly. Here we go. Here we go. Not really. L.O.B.? The Beatles. Help. That is correct, L.O.B. Woods feels he hit the buzzer first. I guess so. Here we go.
Mikey. The Cars. Oh, wow. Woods. It's very upset. Woods very upset. All right. Here we go. Al Jarreau. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, dang it. Nope, nope. Come on. Here we go. I've got a point deducted. Woods. Woods. Smashing the device. Elton John. I'm going to break that. That's a new one? Okay. Wow. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Give. Here we go. Oh, he pulled a muscle of moving his arm too fast. Red Hot Chili Peppers. I hit myself right in the funny bone. Mine's broken. I'm sorry, Woods. Is it? Oh, God.
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, wait, wait. I touched it. That's weird. Here we go. Temple of the dog. I'm making a comeback right here. Don't call it a comeback. You weren't even here. This thing is broken. How dare you. Here we go. Are we ready? Are we ready? Come on. Here we go. Okay, Woods, what do you got? The monkeys? Yeah. He gets a point deducted. And here we go. Here we go. My vegetables, I love you. Woods is writhing in pain. Do you know what that is, Woods? What is that? It's the Beach Boys. Is it, really? Yeah. Vegetables is the name of the song. Oh, that one. I'd never heard of it either, but I thought you could recognize their voices. I did not. That's from the Smile album, I think. I should have. Reset, dude.
Here we go. All right. Mikey. Mikey. Michael Jackson. What? Here, I'm going to reset. I thought it was. Ready, LLB? I'm resetting. Here we go. Oh, gosh. Here we go. ZZ Top? No. How dare you? How dare you? Okay, what's the score, LLB? Michael Jackson. I thought it was Michael Jackson. No. Sorry. No. Mikey, negative one. It'll be one. Woods, five. No. My buzzer's broken. How dare you. We have four left, so I'm going to make these. Reset, dude. Reset. I'm going to make these two pointers. Oh, good. Good. How many left? Four. Here we go. Here we go. There's still dinner. Backfire. I don't know. Minus two. Dang it. Minus two. Jay. Here we go.
Ella B? I thought it was Ben Folds. You don't know anything, Ella B? It's not Ben Folds, is it? I'm just going to chill on this one. Okay, you're going to give up? I like the negative four-point swing here. Yeah, they might be giants. Yeah, they may be get. Here we go. I'm going to make this one a four-pointer. Here we go. That is, uh, Pink Floyd. Dang! End it. Nope. Dang it! Got two more. My buzzers broke it! Gosh darn it! No! Here's a, uh, nine-pointer. Oh, you're such a... L.O.B. Flaming Lips. Now we got us a fight. What's the score, L.O.B.? Nine me ate her. Yeah, and Mikey negative three. Negative.
Three. Okay. This is a three-pointer. I have no freaking clue. Oh, I know what it is. That means Woods gets up. Woods, what do you got? Three deducted. What do you got, Woods? I don't know. Here we go. Be mine? Where am I supposed to get? L.O.B. Little Shabahars. Fake win. Oh, look at her. How'd that nine-pointer work out for you? She smeared us, dude. Did she? Yeah, look at her. Did she? And in the process, Woods broke his funny bone. That hurt. You're a little tornadic. I'm not. I just get cheated. Nine-pointer. That was a little bit ridiculous. Yeah, just a hair. I got like seven right. M1 Alley. That's what happened to me that one time. Sorry, Rick. M1 Alley from El Cajon. Thank you, L.O.B. Don't pick me anymore, people. It's a conspiracy. I got hosed, too. It's just Jay. And you lost. Yeah.
Oh, wow. Good weekend. I have no feeling in these two fingers. Is that what you hit with? Oh, because you hit your elbow. It smarts. It smarts. The old nerve pal. Well, listen. The rules are the rules. Nine pointers. I just play by them. I don't say whether or not they're fair. Nine pointer. A. L.O.B. just works on the things that she has to work with. Plus my buzzer was broken. Nine point. That is Jimmy Fallon. That is so good. I kind of want to make out with Jimmy Fallon now. Yeah, me too. He's pretty badass. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. If you can do that, you've got some serious talent. Don't forget to vote for us and the R factor. Now I'm going to start saying it a lot because if we get through this week and we win, we go into the finals. Yes, sir. For the favorite morning show in San Diego. Most people are speculating it'll be me against B-Rob. Now, at the other station, they will not mention me. They won't say, B-Rob's up against Mikey because they'd have to say my name. What do they say? The other guy?
No, they probably say the name that we do not speak or something like that. Yikes. Mordor, you know. Mordor. Yeah. You look like a Mordor. Yes, I look like, yeah. I kind of look like a Mordor, so it kind of works. It's true. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. I was looking through the recaps this morning, and Woods did something that, Kind of shocked me. Get out of bed. Oh, wow. Jay turned his mic on to say that. Yes. Oh, hang on. Oh, wow. Jay just... It's been all weekend I'm going to make fun of you. It's like sitting on my hands for two days. Darn it. He ate a vegetable. So, Woods did couples game night. Yep. That's something I would do. I like games. I like board games. I've said it on the air. I hate it.
And I enjoyed it. Turns out you like it. Yeah, I had fun. What did you play? Catchphrase. Yeah. Now that's what we play here. I would like, if I had one request, I would request that people are just a little more focused when we get going on the deal. And maybe less like cross talk and just a little more focused. Now what does that mean specifically? What do you mean there? Like, you know, like just stay focused. Be ready. Be ready and no trying to, you know. No need to insert bits and stuff in between. Just stay focused. On Catchphrase, the way that Catchphrase works is you mind meld with your partner. Right. And then you describe something to them and they have to try to figure out what you're saying without you actually giving a description that has the actual words in it. Right. And so we had a team of four guys against four girls. Well, that's just unfair. Why? You guys should have gone two guys, two girls. Why is it unfair? Women are just as smart as men. Yeah, that is true. You don't have to denigrate women in the process. What category did you choose? Actually, we did them all. That's fair. And actually, they did best on sports and games. Food was really hard. Food was really hard to do. But I just would like maybe a little bit more focus. Who are you speaking to directly? John Wynder.
I want him to focus a little bit more. Yeah, I need him to focus more. A man. But. Oh, wow. I thought for sure you were talking to someone's wife. No. I want John Wynder to focus harder next time. He is your friend, John Wynder. Yeah, and I need him to focus better. Can I ask you a question? Yes. I need my OBF to focus a little bit better. Your only black friend? That's your only black friend. I need him to focus up. Wow. I would be very careful with the words that you're choosing right now. Excuse my French, everybody in America. Listen. What did he do wrong? Winder's actually really good, but what happens is that he will want to talk in between, and he'll throw people off their game. Now, my OBF, here he is when he gets the device. Um, um, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Uh-oh. And here's me. Come on. Say it. Say it. Say it. Give me anything. Give me anything.
See, this is why you can't be a part of game night. It's why I probably knew I shouldn't. Did you lose? No, I think we did lose. I think the girls did beat us. It's fun. It was a blast, though. It was so much fun. It's so out of your anything that I would ever think that you would do. I stepped out of my comfort zone and actually rather enjoyed myself. So I'm looking forward to doing it again. Maybe we get everybody over next time. It'd be a blast. Well, we didn't get the invite. Maybe next time. You were out of town. It wasn't at my house. And now check this out. I don't know if you've heard about this. ESPN's College Game Day. You hear about the controversy, Woods? No. They were coming back from commercial and there was a microphone open and Lee Corso made a comment.
And many thought and think that it may have been about Penn State. Uh-oh. This is my worst nightmare. Yes. This would happen. Well, it did happen to you that one time on the news. Remember that? You remember that time on the news? It did actually happen. It did actually happen one time. You remember that time? I do remember that time. It was mortifying. When that guy called you another name? Yes. So it has happened. Yes. But I say some pretty off-color things when the mics are off. That's true. That is a very true fact. Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? Sorry, Lauren. Sorry. Oh, my gosh. That happened live on television where she said they were calling her Laura on television on mistake. And then when we went to break, she said... Can you just tell him my name's Lauren? Oh. And then what did he say? They heard it. Sorry, Lauren. Sorry. Oh! CW6. CW6. Happened live on television. Oh, boy. So anyway, we have the audio of Lee Corso on game day this weekend. So hang on. Jared wanted me to focus on something, and I forgot. And I'm sitting here, and I'm like, what is it that Jared wanted me to remember? CreateYourDesignOnline.com is Jared's website. Holiday cards? Was that it? I know he put up a poll to see what people would like to see as an added service. I bet you that was it. I think that was it. I bet he would kill that. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Well, we've had him do it. I've seen it. CreateYourDesignOnline.com.
At 7.30, I'm going to tell you about what L.O.B. did to me. Wait, I mean... To me. I didn't do it to you. To me. I was not really to you. You were a bystander. Well, yeah, not an innocent bystander. Yeah, not innocent. No. Not by any stretch. You're not innocent anymore. Oh, no. Broken, kind of. Yes. Shattered. I would say definitely... Wounded? Wow. You're not wounded. Yeah. You're all right. Soiled. Yeah, I need therapy. Yeah. Well, more therapy. More therapy. I need more therapy. Is that possible? You're going to be okay. Oh, boy. Oh, gosh. Just don't. Don't tase me, bro! I mean, I'm just trying to... I've worked through a lot, you know, but... Been through a lot. I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious. Well, they were, and then they... You know, I'm good. You know, I feel better. But then Jay says, I'm fat, and then he plays sound effects of me crying. That's my therapy. That's my version. Yeah, I'm helping you. Tough love. I call it the breakdown. Yes. Mac, tear you down, and then tear you down some more. I don't build you back up. Then I urinate on your ashes. Yes. That's what I like to do. That's how. You can only go up if you're just at rock bottom. That's right. So I think that's what his tactic is. Right. Then I'll take your wife from you.
All right. Even though I have my own. And your kids. I'll move to a state like Utah where I can have more than one wife. And I'll take your kids. A polygamist. A polygamist. A polygamist. Yeah, I'll become a polygamist. All right, Lee Corso. Hot mic. Hot mic. Didn't realize the mic was hot. The mic was hot. Ouch. So he's on college game day. They're coming back from commercial. They're showing a shot of the Penn State team. And Lee Corso does not know that his microphone is hot. Where's that little kid? Penn State team, you can see. An emotional circle. Now, to Lee's defense, he says that what he was talking about was a charity auction winner at Stanford who won the opportunity to hand Lee Corso a hat. I believe him. I believe that. He didn't make a joke. No, I believe it too.
But I did think it was sensational, and so did the rest of the world. Ill-timed. Yeah, ill-timed. It's ill-timed. Very ill-timed. I have a question I asked you guys during the break. I'd like to hear Jay's thoughts, too. Are Sandusky jokes, are they off the table? For now or forever? Listen, listen, L.O.B. Because I've been making a few. L.O.B. They're good to go. She is in. Yeah, they're good to go. Okay, I've been making a few to you guys. It's how we deal with pain. Right, and Howard Stern called her on her private line and said, it's too much. I wanted to know if it was too much or too soon. Like, is it ever going to be not too soon? No, I guess both. I guess both. I guess both. I guess both. Enough time will pass and I can say the things that I said already. Right. And people will laugh. Well, you know, I think that that is a very sensitive topic. And you are a shocking jock. And definitely not on the air. Yes. Can you give me an example? No. No, we cannot. No, we cannot. And no, we will not. No, we will not. But we could if we wanted. Yeah, if we wanted to get fired, then we certainly could. Because she keeps telling them. Yep, yep, yep. They just keep rolling out. Oh, they're easy. I'm not thinking of them. It's easy. I know. But they are generally, they make me uncomfortable. Left out loud. No, I wouldn't say that. Left out loud. I would not say that. I would not LOL. Left out loud. No. Nope.
Man, Matt said one this weekend that was good. Oh, boy. Good as a relative term. Good as a relative term. It was about me. I wish I could say it. You are really something else. Man. He said it, and I was like, hey, if he made it, I can do it. I am a comedian. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, you cannot. Okay. You cannot. You will not. No mas. No mas. That's too bad. Are you ready for a little? No, I'm not. Mikey, morning quarterback. Yes. So not ready. It's early this week. I like it. Let's do it. 570-1949. You got to pick L-O-B or J. Now, what we do is we ask them questions that have to do with the National Football League. The greatest part about it is that neither of them are what you would call experts.
When it comes to the NFL? Right. Now, Jay is worse off, I believe, than L.O.B. Jay's worse off than people that live in Egypt. That is a true fact. People that live in Egypt know more... About the Cincinnati Bengals? No question. Oh, yeah. That is A.J. Green. He is the rookie that Mike trained to Wood. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, Mike. Oh, and that is Wood's attempt to get that in there just to embarrass Mike more when he definitely doesn't need to. But, hey, you will take any opportunity to make fun of him. But it is saying I'll translate for you. It says, Jay does not know anything when it comes to the National Football League, is what he said. And thank you.
570-1949. You've got to come in here, Jay. Look, he tries to cheat. He's got some sort of paper in front of him. M1, can you hand me that, L.O.B.? Do not look at that paper and hand me that paper. Do not look at that paper and hand me that paper. Do not look at that paper and hand me that paper. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin. I got the score. All right, here we go. All right, Woods is keeping the score. And this is M1, Uniform Man from Escondido. Who do you want? L.O.B.? You got it. You got it. Wise pick. And M1, Daniel from Oceanside. Are you there? Yep. All right, hang on the line. Who started last time? I did, so Jay begins. Jay, are you ready? Yes, I am. We're playing for a Yo Gabba Gabba Volume 3 with hit songs from The Killers, Devo, Band of Horses, and more. Thank you, Adam. We listen to it a lot because of kids. All right, are you ready? Are you ready, Jay? Yes. What color helmets, I say, what color helmets do the Atlanta... I'm sorry, what? I said, what color helmets do the Atlanta Falcons wear? Well, there's got to be a little white on those helmets. Jay, what color helmets do the Atlanta Falcons wear? They're red, Mikey. They were when you were a child. Yes. But in 1990, they changed.
To black. Oh, you wanted the later. Yes, I did. I did. I did. You didn't say now. Where means current. Yes. What do they wear? Not what they used to wear. Present tense. Who changed that? That's stupid. L.O.B. Yes. Who is Ed Hockley? That's an excellent question. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. He is one of the legendary broadcasters on... ABC? Not. No, he is not. But you were very close and you had me convinced. You had me convinced. Wow. He is a very famous referee. He's buffed. He's very buffed. Yes. Gives 15 minute explanations for penalties. Yes, he does. That guy. I'm sure he looks very manly when he does the offside. He does. That is true. Huge arms. Great body. We're tied. Just so everyone. Zero, zero. We are in fact tied. Tied. All right.
Jay. Yes, Mikey. What's the name of the Chicago Bears stadium? It's the Bears. It's the Bears stadium. It's the Bear Den. That's awesome. Oh, man. That's a tough one. Here we are at the Bear Den. I was way off. No, it is not. It is not, Jay. It is, in fact. Soldier Field. Oh! Soldier Field. So cute and cuddly or badass. That's right. Bear Den. That's right. The Bear Den. The Bear Den. We're still tied. Zero, zero. L-O-B? Yes. One may win it. I'm sorry, what? Oh, wow. I said zero. Oh. Zero is a good-looking guy that works here in the building. Right. It's also the name of a lot of things, like pizza place.
But you're well known for thinking Ciro's cute. Right. So there's that. There's that. There is that part. Strictly coincidental. A little angel. Hello, B. How many yards does the ball need to travel in an onside kick? At least on an onside kick. Oh, yes. On an onside kick. At least seven yards. Ten. Whoa. There's a ten. Darn it. I was going to say. Isabel got it right. But it wasn't his question. Now we're tied right now. The game is tied. Easiest scorekeeping job ever. Ever. Jay? Yes. What team does Matty Ice play for? What team? Now? Right now? Yes, now. I mean, at the current day, what team does Matty Ice play for? The Bears.
No, Jay. That is not true. He does not play for the Bears. Matty Ice, otherwise known as Matt Ryan, plays for the Atlanta Falcons. That is right. Back to the Falcons. That's right. L-O-B. Yes. I'm ready to play now. Okay, here we go. I have my head in the clouds. What color are the Charger throwback uniforms called? What is that color called? What is it called? Yeah. Powder blue? That is correct. All right. That is correct. One for our friend LLB. Now. Dang it. If Jay gets this next one wrong, LLB is the winner. But if he gets it right, I have to go to Woods or somebody for some backup questions. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Jay. Yes. Excluding the Chargers and the Eagles, name any. And by the word any. Any. I just want you to know that what I mean by that is at any time, I mean, consuming all. From any time? Yes. No matter how much, how many, any current starting running back in the National Football League. I mean, you can name any starting running back in the National Football League, other than a Charger or an Eagle, that plays right now in the NFL.
Any, any, any, any, any, any, any. LT. LT is not a starter. In fact, he's a backup. But you could have gone with Sean Green. He is the starter. He's the starter. He's the starter for the Jets. But he is. He is a running back. He is a running back. Not a starter. He is, in fact, a running back. L.O.B. L.O.B. She plays this game, and she plays this game to win. That was not my best week. No, it wasn't. For the record, L.O.B. got one question right and won the game. Yes, that's right. I didn't watch any football this week, so I was a little out of store. Could have been one. You missed your dream team. That's right. Your dream team, as one person called them. Well, they call themselves. They do not call themselves. They have t-shirts that says, we are the MFing dream team. Backup wide receiver. The backup quarterback. Backup quarterback. Vince Young. That's what I meant to say. Made the mistake one day. Yeah, we're the dream team. Before the season started, Sam, we're the dream team. And Woods has taken that. Not just Woods. Oh, please. If by Woods you mean ESPN, then yes, Woods. No, they don't still say that. Every game they say it. They go, the dream team. Yeah, they do. They do? They are, as my brother called them and as my mom likes to call them, a bunch of bums. Yeah.
My brother. I Skyped with my brother yesterday. I didn't see the game because I don't have cable. He said, did you watch those bums? No, I missed it. They lose. Yep. Gave it up in the end again. Real good. Weird. Oh, boy. Dream team. Nope. Nightmare team. Yep. They stunk. They stunk. Andy Reid. They just didn't do well. This is what happens. Every year. You're an Eagles fan and you think this is going to be the year. Hey, listen. It's going to all turn around. LLB, you're not telling a Charger fan anything a Charger fan doesn't know. I would rather Teddy Ruxpin as an assistant. Whoa. That's a strong team. Take it easy. 570-1949. You can text us at 949mikey at gmail.com. Any of you have a strange phobia? Now, hang on. By strange, let me define. Let me define. I don't mean snakes.
Okay? I don't mean snakes. I don't mean spiders. I don't mean rodents. Because those are what you would call normal phobias. What I mean is dice. You have a phobia about dice like the kind that come with the Monopoly game. And you have a phobia of them. You are afraid of them. You think that they're disgusting. You can't hold them in your hand. Do you have... A strange phobia. I don't think it's strange, but I have a weird... Aversion. Yeah. The rubber parts on crutches. The top part, it's fleshy. Ew, it is. And it's always discolored. I can see that. Yeah. And then even the handle parts where you hold on to the crutches. Yeah. And then I don't even want to talk about the bottom parts of the crutch. The crutches and the...
The part that goes under your pit and the part that you hold with your hand has the same exact feel to it as someone's forearm. Or someone's ear. Yes. The top of the ring. It's always kind of rotting and falling apart. I can see it. Yeah. I can get behind that, Jay. Spongy. It's spongy, but yet, if you use them long, it kind of flakes off in your hand, and then you... Ew! And it smells so bad of rubber. It's really heavy, strong-smelling rubber. So do you get scared if you see someone coming at you on crutches? I just get grossed out. Why do you hate handicapped people, Jay? Yes, Jay. I love them. Why do you just rail against them? Gosh, I don't rail so much. I just don't like them. I just avoid. Yeah. That definitely qualifies. That's weird. That's a weird phobia. I've never heard anybody that is afraid of crutches. Could we get a pair of crutches in here and have Jay just... Lick the top of it. No! Yeah! You know, Jay, I saw a girl this weekend on crutches, and she had a tank top on, so all I thought was, that's bear pit right against there. That's just bear pit. Disgusting. That's hideous. It is disgusting. Nobody washes their crutches. No! Would you rather kiss a cockroach or lick a crutch? Kiss a cockroach any day. It depends on the type of cockroach, too, I think.
I would lick a crutch until the cows came home. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. And isolate. Isolate. Before I kiss a cockroach. Yeah, I don't do cockroaches either. I'd eat one of the rubber things off a crutch before I'd kiss a cockroach. Weird. This is a good one. M1 Leilani from San Diego, are you there? I am. You're afraid of what? Teddy bears. In my defense, and look who's talking to, there was a, I was really young when I thought, so there was a teddy bear that, like, its head goes down, its eyes turn red, and these claws shoot out. You realize that the phrase is, he's as sweet as a teddy bear. He's a big old teddy bear. Yeah, you realize the phrase is, he's a big old. I know, and I married one. Yeah. A teddy bear. You married a teddy bear. I married a teddy bear. Would you freak out if you came home and your husband was dressed as a teddy bear? I think I would. My brother had a teddy bear on his monitor, on his computer, and I came downstairs in the middle of the night and I grabbed it and I put it in a cabinet because it freaked me out. That's a good one. Wow. Wow. I thought you guys would like that. That's fantastic. It's fantastic. Let's see. Have a good day. Thank you. M1 Buzz from Claremont. Yeah, hi. I'm terrified of little people. Now, this is not...
This is not such a strange phobia. That actually has a name. I have to look it up. But it actually has a name. I was told this is lollipop gildophobia. I will not respond to that. Nor will I. And Lauren is cackling. I am not. The only reason that I won't is because I'm about four inches away from being that. Fair enough. And I don't want to give you an isolate, so I'm not fair enough. Thank you very much. 5701949, what is your weird phobia? Your weird phobia. Jay's afraid of crutches. He just came right out and said that. Yeah, listen. The guy's being honest. He can't help what he has and what he has. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up.
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See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hone Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. Innovative career choices are waiting for you at California College San Diego. Don't wait for the new year to start your new life. 1-800-390-6489 now. This report, it's brought to you by Applebee's. Come see what's sizzling at your neighborhood. Applebee's try to do sizzling entrees like new double barrel whiskey sirloin, sizzling Cajun steak and shrimp, and sizzling queso chicken today. All at your neighborhood, Applebee's. Well, you do have some backup here in Escondido on the 15 southbound. Pretty slow from the 78 to Felicita. Also, the 78 eastbound is slow from Twin Oaks Valley Road all the way to Nordall Road. The 805 northbound ramp to El Cajon Boulevard. You've got an accident working here. It's over on the right shoulder.
Three-car crash on the 5 northbound the ramp to Main Street over on the right shoulder. This report also brought to you by KFMB. Stop spending. Start saving. Money advice on Anderson. Today at 4 on CBS 8, followed by News 8 at 5. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is bird. Birds are shed with the FM 94 9 authentic surf for very beautiful Monday morning brought to you again by Guaya Key. You're about a hot or cold. Good stuff. Try it out. You'll be stoked. Surf was today less than stoked because it is getting smaller. Northwest well kind of fading off along with that week or Southwest. Well, still seeing some ways this morning, the waist high, maybe a few chest that plus that ways that stand out spots once again, though, dealing with a five foot plus high tide around 10 o'clock, so that will back down quite a few areas. a little bit, especially the reef breaks. Beach is looking fairly fun. A little soft. It's actually steeper inside faces can be found. And then as the tide drops out later today, we might see a little bit of life at the cliffs and some of those other reef break areas, but it is on the fade. So look for smaller things while our way ahead of us. At least it's nice day, though. For up to the minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com and for surfboard repair restorations. Go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. Yeah, the next surf report could be heard three times daily right here on FM 94 9.
This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Mike online, they're saying I was right. Yep, Falcons wear red helmets. Sure did yesterday. Throwback. Oh. Come on in here. He's up. Come on in. Throwback. Come on in. There's a throwback. Yep. It's a technical. Let's do a sudden dip. All right. Fine. Woodsy is going to ask some questions, then we're going to go to the phones.
We're going to do a little. But the listeners already. I know. Yeah, well. But you know how. I'd just be happy with a tie. No, we like to be fair. We like to be fair. Fair enough. Should we buzz in or are we each getting a shot? We each get a shot. What have you prepared? We each get a shot. You ready, Jay? Woods, he came up with these. Go ahead, Woods. If it's third down and seven, how many yards are needed for a first down? 21. That's not right. Third and seven. That is not. You're right. No. How many would it be? No. Third and seven? Third down and seven. How many yards are needed for a first down? Three yards. No, wait. No, wait. Hold on. Seven. In the end. Seven. Oh, third and seven. Yeah. Oh, wow. This guy is absolutely atrocious. For the win. Shouldn't I get it? Because I answered it right. No. For the win. What is the guy who coaches the defense called? Defensive coordinator. Yes!
Oh, I get a trick question. She won again. That's not a trick question. I gave you the answer in the question. I gave you. Third and seven. That means seven to go. I thought it was a trick question. It's called a gimme. It's called a gimme. It's called a freebie. He gave you a free question. Oh, no. Sympathy question. This guy is absolutely atrocious. Well, it's kind of. So now everybody can get off Jay's sack. Yeah. Lost fair and square. That's right. Wow. We were taking some heat online. Yeah. About time. Our Facebook page is blowing up saying, hey, they did wear red helmets yesterday. Yeah. But what if we said, what two color jerseys did the Chargers wear? What two colors are in the Chargers uniform? So they wear the navy blue or they wear the white. The powder blue is a throwback. That is correct. But they do wear them. They do wear them. Yeah, but what do they currently wear? And by currently... You didn't say currently. I did. Yesterday. Yesterday's pretty current. You said, what do they wear? I did say currently. But they were wearing a throwback. Their normal standard jersey is a black helmet. Mm-hmm. But... I still call shenanigans. What? Oh, you got your chance. Yeah, you got your chance. What weird thing do you have a phobia of? M1 Alex from Chula Vista. Are you there, Alex? I'm here. What do you have a phobia of?
I'm afraid of... Good dog. That comes at the end of TV shows. Cheers and stuff. I always thought they said boo-boo. It's ubu? Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog. Why does it scare you? I'm not so sure why it's so abrupt. I guess if it's late at night, I'm really afraid of that stuff. That is fantastic. That is a great example. That is a great example of a weird... Phobia. I've got a weird one. Go ahead, Woods. The gym. Petrified. No, you're not. Yeah, yeah. Petrified. You don't like the gym. Oh, the sweating, the grunting, the germs. Petrified. I get it. That's why you work out at home instead. Be glad for the food on your plate. That's right. Yeah. M1, Chelsea from Mira Mesa, are you there? I'm here. What are you afraid of? Well, I cannot wash anything wooden.
Like wooden spoons that you cook with? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it 100%. I get it. Because when you rub wet wood. We don't even have anything wooden to cook with in our house. My husband and I just don't even buy anything. That is brilliant. That's awesome. And that's it. Hey, Chelsea, did you ever have the big wooden salad bowl with the little wooden salad bowls with the wooden fork and spoon? Make sure you sit. Yep, my parents had them, and I hated them. Eating out of wood is not good. I left them there. All right, I'm going to skeeve. Everybody, I want you to imagine right now that in front of you, you have a pot of pork and beans, and you get a wooden spoon full of them. Put them into your mouth and wipe the spoon clean as you remove it from your mouth as it passes your teeth and lips. I have nothing wrong with that. That's hideous. Yes, you do. And you know full well that you do. I can eat with a wooden spoon. I know what she's talking about, though, washing it. It's gross. By the way, L.O.B., I'm glad you said that. Oh, I was going to add one more.
No, you're not going. That's great. I'm glad you said that. Thank you for saying that. Because now we get to talk about what LOB did this weekend. You know what? I'm okay with it. I've come to terms with it. I feel as though I did nothing wrong. I forgot, by the way, to show this to Rebecca. Should be forgiven. Oh, she can't handle it. Well, you better not. I feel like we're all adults here. You better not. This is the comedy show. You tell the story. We were off the air, though. Yes, we were off the air. We were off the air. I know that you're a comedian. Everyone needs to grow up. Oh, really? What this sex pervert over here. I am not. What this monstrous sex pervert did was. Blank my blank and blank you. Okay, go ahead, Ellenby. Tell everybody what you did. I'm sure that the people will side with me and say. That's good humor. My boyfriend, Matt Commerce, and I, we like to do some things where we send each other pictures of funny things that we have previously talked about. Sometimes they are grotesque in nature. Sometimes they could be sexual in nature. Sometimes they're just simply funny. Like I sent him a picture of a seal the other day with a seal's head on it.
I sent you that as well, Mike. Yes. I thought that was hilarious. It was. Let me ask you a question. Yes. In what category would you place what you sent to me? Both grotesque and sexual. I took a picture of a man, a black man. Not in person? No. Allegedly. Something we had discussed. And had a laugh about previously. Excuse me while I whip this out. And? Took a picture of it yesterday because I missed him. He was gone all day at a gig. And I was just doing work at home and decided to Google image something that I thought would be funny. And I thought I'd make him laugh at his gig. Took a picture of a black man, a well-endowed black man. Oh, hell. On the internet. That's it? No, no, that is no. That's it? No. No, no, no, no. That's it? Nuh-uh. Here's the deal. So you take the picture with the iPhone and then you hit the little button to go forward it and share it. Right. And I hit it to share it. And I guess I was maybe careless. Maybe I have big, you know, like ham hands. And I meant to type in M-A. Matt's the first one that came up. I guess I just.
Typed in M or M-I. Somehow Mike Esparza's name got on the text message. And I sent it away. And I did not know. I sent it to... Mike knew when he got it, when he opened it, I bet. Oh, yeah, he knew. Well, it was a text from L.O.B. Which is rare as hell on a Sunday. Yep. It's very rare. And so I opened the text up. And I saw a picture. And I had to press the picture on my iPhone to expand it to fit the size of the screen. Had to? I actually didn't have to. My heart. But I did because I didn't know at first. I wasn't quite sure what it was. You saw some glistening. His chest was glistening. I didn't notice his chest. I will love you violently. How could you possibly notice his chest? I didn't. I didn't. You couldn't possibly. No, and I didn't. It's not the feature that you see. No, it's not what's most prominent. I would have paid. I would still pay money to see your face. Yes. I got it. No message attached. No. Just the pic. That is correct. After the last, you heard from me, it was 10.04 on Friday.
Oh, my heart hurts. I love it. I responded with a question mark. The old question mark. What did you think when you got the question mark? Well, you didn't respond right away with the question mark. Some time had passed. Quite a bit of time, actually. Yes, I'd kind of gone on with the rest of my day. And so I got a question mark from you, and I was like, huh? So I opened it up. Why has he got a question mark? Yeah. When I opened up, I then saw the chain of events. And I said, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, boy. I wrote back a bunch of ha-ha-has. Hoping that would work. Which Mike responded with? I don't know. Anything else you want to talk about? Nothing. Monster. He responded with nothing. I thought that Eileen Wuornos had texted me. And then I said, oops, that was meant for Matt. Which is weird. And then that was weird. And I said it was a joke. And then I put a couple more ha-ha-ha's. Sorry, Mike. I meant to send that to my boyfriend. We have a weird relationship. They do bits. I get it. I get it. Mike, excuse me. I was trying to send that photograph of that well-endowed African-American man. Man, black folk love, man. I love black folk because I'm black. To my boyfriend. Because...
I knew that he would enjoy it. You, on the other hand, are probably not enjoying it as much as he would have enjoyed it. And, you know, I am very sorry that I sent you a picture of an unclothed, well-endowed African-American man. You could have at least responded with, it's an honest mistake. Holy cow. Or that was funny. Or just the no response bit making me sweat. Who do you think you are with that no response bit? Woods, I looked at this photograph and didn't know. First of all, I didn't think she'd made a mistake. You thought it was coming to you directly. She was now extending her shock comedy with me. To the next level. She was in fact taking it to the next level. Why would I do that? Because you are a shocking, shocking person. I know, but... The only value of the shock is to be there to see your face. Yeah. It's not funny! I wouldn't have had that benefit. Now, I will tell you that despite what happened and despite my mistake, I continued to send that text on to Matt once I realized I didn't send it to you. To which he enjoyed it. I got several ha-ha-has back from him, and he said, that one got me, babe. Yeah.
Got me, too, babe. That's a real good. Mike, I'm sorry. Is your accountability software going to go off now? Imagine if it did. Oh, my God. If it does, you're talking to my friend Tim to explain. I sent you a creepy picture, too. Here you go, Woods. Oh, boy. Oh, goodness. Oh, so the myth is true. That is before. That is before the days of Photoshop. That is the myth is true. The myth is true. It's not a myth. It's a fact. I don't know if that is representative of all black men. Maybe I Google how to cleanse a phone. Yeah. You still have it on there. You still have it. Yes, you're a creep, by the way.
Oh, yes, yes, you guys. I have it because I want to look at it from time to time. You should have that come up when L.O.B. calls you. Oh, my gosh! Well, it would never come up then, trust me. Why is this elephant calling me? L.O.B., the last comment. The last comment was so unnecessary in terms of... The last one I made? No. Sorry. Let's all grow up. Let's all just grow up. I went ahead and posted the picture on the Mikey Show Facebook page. No, you don't. Do not. You'll get banned. How dare you. It's just a wiener. We've all got them. Granted, not like that. Not like that. 570-1949-M1. Chris from San Diego. Hey, what's up? Oh, great. Fab. I love the Mikey Show so much. Normally, I'm up at the crack of dawn. I had a problem sleeping last night, so I just woke up. Turn on the radio, and this has been...
Oh, yeah. It's hysterical. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's all the way in. That was definitely. You know, what's really you know what I'm you know, what I'm actually thankful for is that my wife didn't. Kind of a weird relationship to UNLOB. What's up with UNLOB? What are these dirty texts? Consider yourself sell-down. There it is. Oh my gosh. You know what else? Thank God your kid Jake wasn't playing with your phone at that time. And then a giant black wiener comes across. Daddy! What is this? Because the picture shows up little on the iPhone. Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. Don't ever send. No, I won't. What I'm saying is when you're typing from now on. I will be careful. Please try to read the words that are on the screen. I could tell.
from your question mark and then subsequent lack of anything that you weren't laughing on the other side of the screen like I was. No, my jaw, I wasn't mad. My jaw dropped over. You're going to need a bigger boat. Much bigger boat. I can only imagine. Your thought process of what I could be thinking. What kind of relationship do I have with my boyfriend that I'm sending him pictures of? That and like, well, LLB is drinking on a Sunday. She's drinking on a Sunday. Yes. Definitely. No, just doing bits. Always doing bits. Always doing bits. Sometimes they'll get you. Yes, that one got me. Come up and bite you. 5701949 is the number. And this weekend, some cool stuff in sports. First of all, it made its debut. On network television this weekend. Talking, of course, about the UFC. Junior Dos Santos and Cain Velasquez. Take a listen. Of this sport. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. And now it's on Fox. It is now on Fox. Dana White said he was so nervous. He couldn't sleep for like a week. Really? Yeah, just petrified. He shouldn't be petrified.
I mean, he's bringing this thing to prime time. This is what made, by the way, boxing the phenomenon that it was in the day they showed it on television. Back in the day, yeah. You could see it. You could actually see it on TV. Cain Velasquez on his first loss. This is the first time that you have ever tasted defeat in your career. Give us your thoughts on the fight and how you feel right now. I just want to say sorry to all the fans, my family, friends. I disappointed you. You know, I have much more than this, and I will come back. And I will get this belt back for sure. Meanwhile, Manny Pacquiao also had a fight this weekend and won his fight. Of course, everybody is familiar with Manny Pacquiao as being the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. In the absolute... I mean, more than anybody else. When you weigh it, he is the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world. And he also sings Amin La Bamba. Post-fight. That was after the fight. He does. Share your gift, Manny. Don't keep it to yourself. Manny Pacquiao. Ladies and gentlemen, Manny Pacquiao. Wow. Okay. What's that? The crescendo now. Don't rush it, Manny. Let the song come to you. Don't over-sing it. Don't.
Play within your limits. Just absolutely stunningly beautiful. Just absolutely a strong thing. Thank you, Manny. Well, Manny Pacquiao, if he ever decides to hang it up, does not need to worry about anything. He's got a singing creator fallback. Robert Hoyle scores the bout. 114, 114. It's a singing competition. David Moletti scores it 115, 113. He's amazing. Yes, he is. In all sorts of avenues. Yes, he is. He never ceases to amaze. How about this? Woods?
This is going to mean a lot to you. Arizona Cardinals, as you know, have a very large Hispanic following. They're on the Spanish radio network. And they beat the Eagles yesterday. Dream team. Dream team. Just the Eagles. Gabriel Trujillo is the announcer for the Cardinals. One of your boys. Your boy, Gabriel Trujillo. And when the Cardinals beat the Eagles, he lost his mind. He lost his mind. And I have the audio. I love it. I have the audio next. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. Oh, this was quite a story. Apparently, there was a Caltrans engineer who was faking results on a couple of freeways here in San Diego. One in Escondido, one in National City. He was faking results on it.
Somebody was a whistleblower, told the Sacramento Bee, that's their newspaper in Sacramento, that concrete tests on bridges were either being fabricated or measured with faulty equipment. Now, the only reason I can think that they would do that, that this person would do that, is so that they could have more work. Because they would have to repair it. Yeah. Or they're just a sadistic creep. Yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to tell you about the latest rankings in college football, but first wanted to let you know that sports is brought to us today by U31, North Park's best bar and grill. It's delicious. My friend Mike came with me last time. I did. He feasted real good with me. It was real nice. So, college football this weekend was a great weekend of college football, and I'll tell you what, man. The rankings are out for the BCS. Number one is still LSU. Number two is Oklahoma State. And the number three team, I wouldn't want to play. For anything. Oregon, dude. Oregon looks so good. Actually, they went to number four. Alabama's number three. Oregon beat Stanford 53-30. They're the fastest team I have ever seen in my life. Those kids can play some football. So it's going to be a really exciting end to the college football year. Just a bunch of good games this weekend. And then in the NFL, there were some... Dude, talk about some upsets. My sure thing of the week...
Was the Ravens. I said, there is no way that the Ravens are going to lose. Where the hell is it? Oh, the Seahawks. Don't look at me that way. I looked at you like, what happened? They lost to the Seahawks, 22-17. Holy cow. The Seahawks. That's bad. Yeah, that is just awful. It isn't supposed to happen. Freaking Niners are rolling. They won again. They beat the Giants, 27-20. Patriots destroyed the Jets. Hey, listen. They beat them. Oh, yeah. It wasn't like, it's not like one of those deals where you go, oh, the Giants beat themselves. No, the Giants played their butts off, and they got it handed to them. Yeah, the Niners are 8-1, my friend. They are looking strong. The Bears beat the Lions. Are we over the Lions yet? I guess, because they keep losing. I'm kind of over them. They keep losing. The other team that everybody was really high on is the Buffalo Bills. They got absolutely destroyed by the Cowboys, 44-7. The Bills haven't done anything, really. They've lost four in a row. Just don't look that good. The Cardinals beat the Dream Team 21-17. Tim Tebow got the win yesterday. You know what his line was? Two of eight for 69 yards, and he got the win. Oh, wow. Two of eight. Oh, wow. Any given Sunday, they say. That's right. Any given Sunday. Speaking of the upset with the Eagles and the Cardinals, how about Guy, or excuse me, that's my cousin, Gabriel Trujillo.
Gabriel Trujillo is the Hispanic announcer for the Spanish radio network or the SRN. I just call it the Mikey. Yeah. He's called the network. The network. Just call it your speed dial. Right. But he got very excited since he's the Arizona Cardinal announcer when the Cardinals won. He was saying Larry. Wow. What was he saying, Mikey? Early, early, early. Arizona. I mean, are you kidding me? Excitable. Excitable. Oh, that ain't even close, dude. Holy.
Your people are very excitable people. Yeah, they are. Love their sports. Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry. That's outstanding. The goal guy is like, hey, you stole my bit. Yeah, you stole my bit. I'm so happy. Well, yeah, you would be too if Harry Fichero caught a touchdown like that on your watch. All I heard in there was... A long pass. Yes. Our team did not do that well this last week, but maybe we will figure it out and we will not play so poorly next time. It's not there and choked on applesauce. It happens, you know. It sucks. Four in a row. Well, every team is going to lose, would you? I mean, most teams don't go undefeated, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, I know. So, we lost. Oh, no! We sucked. We lost. We lost.
I know. Doesn't mean what's going to happen every time. A lot of times we get the win. Nope. I heard. I know they did. I know that. Oh, boy. Big game against the Bears next weekend. The Bears, by the way, it's a wrong time to get them. Yeah, it is. Are they playing here or at the Bear Den? They're in the den. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. They are in the den next week. It will forever. Always. It will forever be known. It's scary. Bear Den. It will forever be known as the Bear Den. That's our boy Jay. That is fantastic. You don't want to go in the den. Jay thought that Soldier Field was called the Bear Den. Right. Makes a lot more sense. Soldier Field? Really? What does a soldier have to do with a bear? I don't get it. So stupid. God. That's why I hate football. Might as well call it the frying pan. I don't have nothing to do with a bear. Actually, a frying pan makes more sense. You clank them together when a bear's coming. That actually makes more sense to me. A soldier.
What's that have to do with a bear? Soldier be scared of a bear. Soldier be scared of a bear. That's the wrong thing to call it. God, who cares anyway? Stupid. Bear Den. What are you going to tell me, Woodsy? Nothing. Oh, just the, it is at Soldier Field, a.k.a. the Bear Den, next Sunday at 115, Chargers against Bears. And, you know, these two, Cutler and Rivers, they have a little bit of a rivalry going, so there'll be a lot of trash talking. Yeah. Which is always fun. And the Bears are heating up, dude. They dismantled the Lions. Really? Mm-hmm. That's so weird because the Lions are supposed to be the... They look so good coming out of the... They did, man. Well, so did we. I'm sure Jay Cutler will look really pumped for that game. Yeah, he's always so excitable and sharp. This weekend I watched a documentary. It's weird. About a hotel in New York City called the Chelsea Hotel. Oh, yeah. Ryan Adams. Absolutely. Look at you. Yeah, the guy that Woods is all into. Summer of 69. Summer of 69. Oh, he's different. He has a song called Hotel Chelsea Nights. This time. Hotel Chelsea Nights now anyway. I'm going to make you mine. I love you. It's a good song. That's not him. One is Canadian. One is from North Carolina. Got it. David Ryan Adams is my guy.
Yeah, but he goes by Ryan Adams. Right. Maybe he should have chose David. David Adams. Even Dave. Why should he change? He's the good one. Yeah, why would you do that? If your name is David B. Roth, and that's your God-given name, David B. Roth. I'd drop the B and just David Roth. Well, I'm not going to change who I am just because of David Lee Roth. If there was a Laura O'Brien on the radio scene. Right. I probably would maybe go by my middle name. Why is that? Because it's very confusing and it's already established. Yeah, but they're different. Why? Because one is Ryan, one is Brian. They sound very similar. They do not sound similar at all. Who has more hits? There he is. There's Ryan Adams. That's Ryan Adams. Oh, I do know this artist then, yeah. He doesn't sound like he's from South Carolina. Not at all.
North Carolina. And he's from friggin' Toronto, so. Who could forget Ryan Adams' biggest hit? Straight from the heart. Oh, man, that's a good one. You are king clown. Nothing wrong with Ryan Adams, mind you. He's just not Ryan Adams. Woods. I like him, too. I'd say Ryan Adams just, he made an oversight, which will probably follow him. No, he's just going by his name. Well, they were telling all these stories about that Chelsea hotel where he lived. Yep. And all these weird things that happened there. Yeah. That's where Sid Vicious' wife died. Yes. Her girlfriend. Nancy. This is his girlfriend, right? Girlfriend. Not wife. And they say they thought he killed her. Yes. Room 100, Chelsea Hotel. A lot of people lived in the Chelsea Hotel. Oh, yeah. There was a very famous fire that happened there on the seventh floor. This guy says that he walked out of his apartment.
And all he's wearing is a T-shirt. It's the only thing he wore to bed. That's creepy. Men should always wear bottoms. I think so, too. I thought that was an odd sleeping arrangement. It is. Does sleep with no clothes on? No, it's a sleeping, just a T-shirt. 949. It was, you know, he walked out in that hallway and a woman was out there, too, because she heard the alarm and he looks at her and he covers his man parts. Yes. And he says, do you have anything that I could put on, please? Maybe take your T-shirt off and wrap it around your waist. He didn't think of that. That's the grossest look a man can have, by the way. Holding it. Just a T-shirt holding it. Oh, yeah. Socks. If you throw socks on. Yeah. That's bad. She didn't have any men's pants. So she gave him a skirt. It's a true story. He wore a skirt. You know how the fire started? Old woman had a pot. Wasn't a fire. Old woman had a pot. She put some meat in the pot, like beef in the pot to boil this piece, hunk of meat. Then she went into the living room and she fell asleep on the couch. Well, the thing kept bubbling and bubbling and bubbling until all the water evaporated. Then the meat started to heat up, dried out and started to smoke. Turned into a log. Yeah.
And the smoke was billowing out of the window. Fire department comes up, opens up the door. There's smoke everywhere. They can't see. They assume it's a fire. They turn those hoses on high and they drown the old woman. True story. They killed her? They drowned her. It's not funny, but I mean, it's kind of crazy, you know? The crazier thing is a guy sleeping in nothing but a t-shirt. There's no question. Is anybody, do you sleep in anything weird? Does anybody have weird sleep ways that they just sleep in something weird? Sleep with mittens on or something. Just socks, that's it. That's a creep. I do the socks with like lotion in them sometimes for my feet. I've tried a sock with lotion before. And I'll never eat again. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no. He's a creep. He's the biggest creep. Even Nicole was shaking her head like, yeah, that one got me. That was a creep. She's like, man, I don't want to think of my dad doing that. 5-7-0. 1-94-9. Top of that. M1 Monica from La Mesa. You guys are ridiculous. Thank you. That's true. That's a true statement. What you just said could be in, that's a true statement. There is no... I wanted to say, you were talking about abbreviations earlier. Uh-huh. About what? Wait, wait, wait, what? Your abbreviation is L-O-B. Yes.
That's an acronym. You mean Lauren O'Brien. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Acronym. Mine is MSG. What is your name? Mary Sergeant Garrett. Mary Sergeant Garrett. What I do. Monica Swan Glancy. So they call you MSG. Yep. It's better than, it's better than, oh, it's better than PCP. Yep. Better than D.I.K. Yeah, what? D.I.K. It could be better than a lot of things. Well, you don't have to just spell out dirty words, Woods. It's not dirty. It's just somebody's initials. Yeah, I know, but you know what I'm saying? I mean, you could just sit there and, you know, I guess. I couldn't think of any of those. My grandmother's S-O-B. That's good. Yeah. It's terrible. I wouldn't want to be that. S-O-B. Yeah.
Where's that SOB? Hey, we weren't talking about that, but it's kind of funny. Now we are. I'm me, Michael Edward of Spartan. Oh, yeah, you are me. I'm SLW. Slaw. My brother's technically B-O. Yes? Brad O'Brien. That's it? No middle name? B-T-O, but if you just do the first and last name. Bachman Turner Overdrive. My brother's middle name is just the letter B. That's weird. My mom thought it sounded good. Stephen B. Esparza. He B. Esparza. He B. Esparza. Yeah. And so it's just a B. That's genius. He was born in Japan. And they didn't know what they were going to name him, actually. And they were trying to decide between a whole bunch of different names. And they just decided on the letter for the middle name. Very mysterious. Gave up. 570-1949. Let's see. This is M1 Brandon from Carlsbad. Hi, how's it going? Good. Good. Yeah, I wear boxers to bed, but sometimes I wake up and they're not on. Yep. I do that. You mean you sleep, walk, pull, or sleep strip? I wake up and sometimes I'm laying on them. Sometimes they're at the bottom of the bed and they're just off. I actually have to ask my fiance.
Did we fool around last night? She's like, no. I'm like, I had a couple drinks, but I don't remember, but I woke up naked. Wow. Wow. It happens maybe, you know, every few months. Wow. You don't do that? Mm-mm. I take, there's a light that's on our DVR, and it's super bright. It's like sleeping on the sun. Yeah. And if it's really bothering me, I will pull boxers off, and from bed, I will throw them right on top of it, so it'll cover them, so when I wake up, they're covering it. But you're conscious of it. You're conscious. Yeah, most of the time. Most of the time. I'll sit up kind of groggy and be like, ugh, and throw it, and it always hits right on there. But you're conscious when you do that. Semi. Semi-conscious. He's saying he doesn't know why. He's boxers. Just take a piece of black tape and put it over permanently. Yeah, because then you lose the sensor. You've got to have the sensor. In the light? Let's turn it off. M1. M1T from San Diego. Hi, T. How are you? Good. So your boyfriend, right? Is he sleeping? Yeah. What is he sleeping? Oh, gosh. No, no. Sexper. Yeah, he's a sexper. He's a sexper. Me too.
If you're a child who's not potty trained or you have some kind of mental issues, they wear just t-shirts and they walk around that way because there's no bathrooms and they're not potty trained to hold themselves. Yeah, that's Ethiopia. Your boyfriend is a sex pervert. Does he smoke a pipe in bed? He wears loafers from time to time. He might as well creep in a t-shirt and a pair of socks naked. Where's my nightie t-shirt? Baby, you see my nightie? He has to put boxers on. He has to even it out. He has to. Anything. Even briefs are better than nothing. I don't care if you're Brad Pitt. You're wearing socks and a t-shirt to bed. You're a creepy guy. Yeah, you're creepy. There's no question. Unequivocally a creep.
The Mikey Show. Call them, 570-1949. Or text them, 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9. What's going on there, sugar nipples? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Tomorrow night, Company of Thieves hit the belly up. Thursday night, you can see they might be giants there or head to the Casbah to see Bob Mould. Saturday night, Kim Lenz and the Jaguars are at the Griffin. Sunday night, Strong Out with Jughead's Revenge is at the Belly Up. More Season 10 on the 22nd. The Blackheart Procession played the cows by December 2nd. And December 3rd, it is the FM 94.9 Holiday Hoot Nanny with My Morning Jacket, Two Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. And still to come, Lee Scratch Perry, Dinosaur Jr., The Boxer Rebellion, Pinback, Two Nights with No Effects, Wilco,
And not a surf. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Hey, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy. And bear with me for a sec. Oh, mamacita. Christmas come early, boys and girls. Guess what I just opened? I just opened my new Ovation Men's Max Pack. That is right. It is for men as well. My wife, Jamie, was turned on to Ovation a while ago. Her hair looks fantastic. It looks better than it's ever looked. So I wanted to get in on the action. I've been using it. Now I've got the Men's Max Pack, so I'm going to be using it forever. If you're looking for a special stocking stuffer to give to a good friend, a lover, a buddy, get them Ovation, okay? It's Ovation Cell Therapy. Beautiful, healthy hair. Thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. Here's what you got to do. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. That's right. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. It's go time at your Toyota dealer. They're here now. The cars, trucks, and SUVs you really want. With great deals on every new Toyota. Save thousands with 0% financing on a new 2012 Tundra.
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Just two co-workers getting out of the office. Although, the way they're sharing dessert, this lunch may not be all about last week's numbers. The new choose-two lunch combinations with soups, salads, pastas, and sandwiches. Only $8.50. It's something new. Something classic. On the new menu at Romano's Macaroni Grill. Just when you thought it might not happen, football season is back at U31. North Park's number one bar and grill with the Sunday ticket. Every game on 20 big screen TVs. Feast on an award-winning burger or mind-blowing nachos while cheering for your team at U31. And FM 94.9 will be there for Sunday afternoon football at U31. college ball fans we have three dollar you call it every saturday 12 to 6 p.m that's right three dollars you call it's every saturday at u31 your football headquarters website at u31bar.com win four tickets to jerome's best seat in the house of the holiday hootenanny sit in style on a jerome's double reclining glider love seat while enjoying the show go to fm94.9.com for details jerome's where jerry's price is the absolute lowest price
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This report is brought to you by Sharp. For health care the way it should be, make sure your health insurance plan lets you choose Sharp. Call 1-800-82-SHARP or visit sharp.com. Some backup this morning on the 52 westbound, pretty slow from Mass Boulevard to the 805. The 56 drive is tough on the 56 westbound side. It's slow from Black Mountain Road to Carmel Creek Road. Also, it looks like the 8 westbound, you've got delays from Las Coches Road to the 5. This report also brought to you by Chevron. Get two Starbucks Energy. Frappuccino or Rockstar roasted drinks for $3.99 through January 1st. One at regular price, Chevron Extra Mile, Extra Easy, Extra Value at select Chevron locations. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Would. I just try not to be. The dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Fake lunch. Like a deep blue sea. L.O.B.'s got fake lunch. L.O.B. never goes to lunch. She hates us. With us. Yeah. She always says, oh, I can't. I've got plans. Yeah.
I'm a planner. I don't just spontaneously have nothing to do. Like you guys. You guys pretty much have a clean slate. Let's see. We're going to eat. That's about it. There's loathing in his voice. It's hatred. Vitriol. It's just the kind of hatred that you reserve for fat people. Glad for the food on your plate. Typical fat guy. I can't even think about two of you. Picturing y'all two at lunch is like, good God. Are y'all having Thanksgiving together? Please say no. I can't handle it. How much food could there be in one house? The other day, I was talking to my wife, Kim. And the topic came up of Mike and Thanksgiving. And Thanksgiving. And I just got a visual. Kim, can you believe?
Mike's never even heard of Thanksgiving leftovers. He's never seen them. He didn't know what I was talking about. He said, what is that? He said, what do you mean? I've never had leftovers. I said the best part of the next day was the turkey sandwiches. He said, where do you get those? How do you have turkey left, he said. Can you believe it? To make a sandwich. How's there bread left in the house? That's something a bitch eats every last morgue. It's so gross. Oh, wow. Hang on a second. Why does he hate fat people? How is this stupid thing busy? I'm trying to call myself as Jay. It's not working. There we go.
Mike, figure it out. What the hell does it matter? Your finger's too fat to use your palm? So I'm talking to Kim, and I said, Kim, the other day, Mike brought up the fact that he's got some family coming in for me. And I pictured him sitting at the table just full of gravy. Just gravy all over. Like, remember that show? That they used to have the green stuff would fall for people at the end of it. You can't do that on television. You can't do that on television. It'd get slimed. Remember that? Yeah. That's what Mike looks like on his gravy. I just pictured it. Hey, Mike. Mike. Yes. I just ran across an email that you meant to send to your wife.
What is it? It's the menu for your Thanksgiving. I thought I'd share it with everybody. What is it? I've been drinking vodka. It's pronounced vodka. It's vodka. It's vodka. Go ahead. I want our listeners to listen to what this old boy is going to eat for Thanksgiving. Ready? Yes. Cheese enchiladas. Beef enchiladas. Beef tacos. Chicken tacos. Turkey. Turkey chimichangas. Turkey rolls. Ham rolls. Ham tacos. I never heard of them. Oh, really? Oh, my. It's mean. True. Mike? Yes, Jay, yes. I got a question. What is it? I got a question about your heritage. What? You're Mexican. Yeah? Is it part of the Mexican tradition and not push away from the table? Is that the deal? Mike? No, it is not, quote, part of my heritage.
serious. I'm wondering if it's different over there. No, it isn't over there, and I'm not from over there. Do they celebrate Thanksgiving in Mexico? I don't live in Mexico. Mike, I have a suggestion. I'm being serious. I'm being for real. I know a guy. He's a tailor. He can come over. You gotta pay him good money. He can come over on Thanksgiving. And he can let your pants out. You're such a jerk. Hey, Jay. You can't just make jokes about me, Jay. Wait, are you talking to me or other me? I'm talking to L-O-B. Hey, you can't just put on... These are my best jokes, man. Hey, other me, am I hilarious? You are hilarious. You're my favorite.
You look good. You look good. I gotta go have sex. Oh my gosh. That's me. Typical me. Typical you. Gosh darn it. That last thing got me. My chest hurts from laughing. I have to get a shot of cortisone in my back. I thought you were a recovering alcoholic. No, cortisone. Not Old Harper. Not vodka. Not vodka. Will you pull your back up, try to open the refrigerator door? Smooth. Slow delivery is what really hammers it in. It just drives the point home. Yeah, definitely. You know what I mean? Yes, Jay. How'd you guess? Let's see. Got a text. Says, I'm a manager at one of my... I'm a manager and one of my employees called in today to say she was calling out sick. Weird. Because her boyfriend broke up with her and she was so upset she was physically ill. Poor thing. Is this the worst excuse you've ever heard? It's up there. What? Wait, wait, wait. It's grieving. Wait, wait, wait. Grieving. Here's my thought on this. I give, I would give that once.
Well, and let me give you my thought. First of all, she's not going to be productive anyway. Yeah. That's numero uno. But if this is like a consistent, ongoing thing, then you've got to roll your eyes and say, come on, you break up every week. Right. But if it's a breakup, we've all been there. Yeah, get to work. Yeah. It's work time. Woods. Check it out the door. Have some compassion. I have compassion, but I'm also a worker. Yeah, we all have a job to do. Right. You got a job to do. But she's grieving. He didn't die. You know what helps? Working takes your mind off of it. Yeah, it does. Not for everybody. Different strokes. No, not different strokes. You have a job. You're lucky to have a job right now. But she's a person. I mean, she's got feelings. Have you ever heard the old... Yeah, Colin's sick. She's feeling so sick from crying. That's never happened to you? She's not well right now. No. Well, you're not a girl then. Well, here's the deal. Call in sick and say, hey, I'm not feeling good. I'm not coming to work. Don't say I'm not coming to work because my boyfriend broke up with me. Why not? Because that's weak. Gosh, darn. If that happened to me, because it actually did. Remember last year when Matt and I broke up and I came into work? Yeah, you worked. Yeah, I did. And didn't work help you get through it? It did. And I would prefer to not bring it up. I mean, I've been there not just with Matt. That's you. You're the type that getting to work takes your mind off of it. But I don't do anything.
I was only productive because I was on the air and I had to be. Other jobs, I would just sit there and look up quotes. Fine. I'd rather have you there. Love songs. I'd rather have you there. I didn't think you talked about it for like a month. I didn't because I couldn't. I'd rather have you there. Come to work. Come to work. Dig in. Hey, this is what grown-ups do. Okay, young lady? This is what grown-ups do. They get up and they go to work. I lost a kid last year and my ass was at work the next day. But you're tougher. No, I'm not tougher. It destroyed me. But Monday morning? I was here. We were on the freaking news that morning, and I was like, oh, great. But some people couldn't do it. I guess it makes them weaker. Yes. But she's physically sick. Check it at the door. Oh, boy. Check it at the door. It's not like he died. To her, maybe. She's not going to get any work done, bro. Come to work and work. Yeah. Boy, I don't like that bit, man. Oh, God. You know what? Then I'd be like, you know what? Go home. That's what she's going to do. Find a new job. Yeah, I'd be furious. She's got sick days. Give her a break. Take a sick day. Our economy isn't a crapper. People are looking for jobs, and this girl's like, I don't feel good. My boyfriend broke up with me. Maybe she's otherwise got a...
perfect record. And maybe she doesn't. You guys sound so insensitive to a human being's feelings that's going through a breakup. I mean, you guys have never been through it. We have, but we were here. Oh, please. Listen, if Woods would have called in sick last year, he should have. Of course you could give it to him. You know what I mean? I'm not calling in sick. Nobody's going to fault you of that. Everyone grieves and handles things differently. So a day is appropriate? Yeah. Okay, but I really feel bad, so I need to take an entire week. Yeah, that's excessive. You're so insensitive. No, I think a week is a little excessive. Is it one day? Yeah, it's one day. Actually, I wouldn't. I mean, honestly, I think I'd give somebody a couple of days. Really? Dude, listen. Let's say that LOB were the type that gets all, you know, a mess in the head. Right. Yeah. I know. It's better for the office. Picture your office. It's better for the environment not to have them there than to be just completely dragging everybody down with the misery. And they're upset. They're not productive. The vibe is wrong. That's when you have the conversation with her and you go, look. Get it together for today. You can cry on your own time. Yeah, yeah. Check it at the door. Check it at the door. I just pictured being back in that office environment.
And someone saying, where's Nicole today? Oh, sorry. I didn't have to use Nicole's name. Oh, wow. I mean, you don't have to attack. Why do you hate our new folks? Why are you attacking? Typical woman. Catty woman. Keep other women down. Where's Sarah today? Where's Sarah today? Oh, great. Her boyfriend broke up there. Okay. So? She called out sick. What? Sorry? Yeah, that's exactly what you would have said, right? So I'm here. Yeah. She's at home eating bonbons and watching. Yeah. I would maybe if I knew that girl was one of those like head case girls, I'd maybe give her one day. If it was more than one day, I'd be like, happy birthday. Yeah. I guess I'm going to stay home tomorrow because I watched home makeover last night. I think there's a difference. No, I think there's a difference between extreme home makeover. Leave it at the door, pal. Check it at the door. Get your butt to work and hit the phones. She's not well right now. If you are not feeling good, you're going to be terrible. People are calling about this. Hit the phones. M1 Dive Bomber from Bay Park. Are you there, Dive Bomber? Hello? Hello, Dive Bomber. Yeah. Go ahead. You're on the air. Sorry about that. I was just going to ask Woods. All right. If you and Jamie were going through something and she just decided to up and leave you in one night,
You tell me that you go to work the next day? There's no question. It actually happened to Jamie and I before, and I was at work the next day. So Woods, see, because I always believe that Woods, here's Woods' bit. If I think it, then that's the right way. Yes, I'm just confident. Listen, I know how I feel and I know how I do. Okay. How many sick days have I had? Let me ask you this. None. Let me ask you this. Okay. Let me ask you this, then. Fire away. What would have to happen in the woods world to allow a day? A sick day? Yeah, in other words... I'd have to be sick. It's the same as a personal leave day. Hence the sick day. Okay, so you're saying that if one of your dogs dies... Yeah, I'll be here. You'll be here. There's no question. You should be home grieving. There's no question I'll be here. What if it's a parent?
Oh, if one of my parents dies, I'll be at their funeral taking care of family business. Absolutely. I mean, I'll have to. Out the door. Yeah, I'm gone. See you. And that's not a sick day. And that's not a grieving day. I've got to go handle family business. But who would fault you? Nobody would because my dad died. I didn't get broken up with it. Grief is grief. Good grief. I think a wife is different than just a relationship. A wife is different than a boyfriend. But Jay, I thought you said you didn't believe in marriage. So why is it any different than you? Thank you. Because you've committed to spend your life. You've committed to spend your life. But some people are just boyfriend and girlfriend. They just haven't gotten enough. You live together for a while. You're coming. This broad sounds like a real drama queen. Oh, please. Yeah. You guys don't. Get your ass up and go to work. What if they were together for like 10 years? What if they weren't? What if they were together for six months? Does it make it any better? 5701949. No, man. I think that it's the worst type of pain. It is not. Heartbreak. No, it is not, Mike. Yes, it is. Dude, ask my wife who's lost both of her parents before the age of 40. What's worse? Somebody breaking up with her or losing her mom? Like, come on. And they'll probably be dating in two days. At the time, it feels like that's the worst. You know when it did, Elleby? When you're 17.
No, I just went through it last year. And your ass came to work. Yeah, but it hurt. I've dealt with it better than this girl was dealing with it. You feel like you've just lost your best friend. And Woods, just because you don't love, you've made it clear on the air, just because you don't love your wife doesn't mean that other men. I love my wife. I adore my wife. Listen. What if a guy calls in and says that he just broke up and he's crushed? Yeah, he's crushed. He can't come in. I'm crushed. I feel for the guy. I do not. But he can take a sick day as well? Sure. Yeah. No freaking way, dude. This is work, man. Work is more important. I don't think a guy would. Oh, so men are better than women? Work is most important. Yes, because I say that a guy wouldn't. That's what I meant. Most guys wouldn't because they wouldn't want to face their male coworkers. Yeah, they don't want to look like Sally's. They want to look like Sally. Some people just get PTO days, paid time off. Everything's lumped together. Personal leave, sick, vacation. What if she just wants a personal day? Have at it. Take it. Don't want to know about it. But what if she wants a personal day to just go shopping? Can't she do that? Yes. So why is it any different if she says she's... He doesn't want to know. I don't want to know. He thinks that you as a woman are weak.
If you call in anybody, any person, any human, either woman or man, that is going through, and everybody knows, the awful pain involved with heartbreak. Absolutely. And Wood says, eh. Get into work? It can make you physical. At 8 o'clock on a Sunday night, we get the call that we're not going to be picking up our son, who we have named, we've had a baby shower for. That was pretty heartbreak. My wife crumpled to the ground. I had to pick her up and carry her into our bedroom. That was some really assy heartbreak. That alarm went off. I was like, I've got to go to work. You know why? I've got a job to do. Didn't you, in fact, want to be at work? That first day I did. After that, though. Some people, it helps to get them away from it. It helped her to get away from it. But you know what? I would do my four hours on the air. Then you know what I would do? I'd go home and crawl into bed and cry for six months. But that doesn't take it. I couldn't let that affect my work and my job. And I didn't. And that's what people need to realize. People work.
Should be the most important thing. No, work is never the most important thing. It should be. No, your family, your health. Well, listen, they don't have a family. They're dating. They're dating. Woods' job, he says, is more important than his wife. That's not what I'm saying. It's the number one priority. You know what? Fine, I'll say it. Work is my number one priority. There's no question. You know why? Because I'm a man. I put food on the table. I pay the bills. What's up? Family first. Pay the bills for what family? Me and my wife. That's it. But she might be gone if you don't make her number one. That's right. Family first. All right. Work's one. She's one A. She gets it. Oh, boy. Oh, what? How did this turn into me? I'm here. Because you said it. You got to work to live, not live to work. Easy for you to say. Why is it easy for me to say? We have the same job. I got the same job. He's saying you're a woman. That's what he's saying. You are a monster, Woods. Yes. If you want to call me what you want, kid brings home the bacon. So do I. I don't have a husband. I don't have a family. Can't do it. You have a wife, which you might not have if you don't put her first. She is first. She's supposed to be first, Woods. It is more about them than it is about the team. How much do you help your missus around the house? I mean, let's, you know. We're not talking about that. We're talking about taking days off. Right. No, no, no, no. I don't take days off.
Get your ass to work. That's what's wrong with this country. Apples to apples, my friend. We work more than anyone in the world. Do we? Yeah, tell that to the Japanese how well we work. Tell it to the Amish. That's true. The Japanese, they were way more. How's that going to fly in Tokyo? I'm very upset. I lose girlfriend. Get your ass to work. This isn't Tokyo. I know it's not. No, you have to come in. No, get your ass into work. You're coming in. It's insensitive. I get it. You can hear it in her voice, dude. She's upset, and you're just going to listen to her and say... Come in. Yeah, you don't call in sick. That's my point. Hey, there are a lot of women that just heard what Woods had to say. You're a monster. I'm a monster. You're a monster. He deserve to die. Whoa. That guy just wants to take care of his family. What a monster. Hey, babe.
I hope this don't upset you or anything. But I just want you to know, bottom line, FM 949, more important than you. Now, you do run a close second. She knows better. All right? Here's my list of important. Don't be afraid. FM 949 slash Maki Show. That's right. Second, D.P. and Snuffy. Sorry, baby. I can't do the Maki Show without those two. Hey, babe, think of it this way. Could be third. But you sang it. Second prize instead of steak. Congratulations. I'll stand by my comment. You're a clown. You don't believe that. You're done at home. You're done at home. You're done at home. No sex alone. Forget it, Woods. You're done. I've never done at home, my friend. Ever. You know why? Because I treat my wife like a queen. Aren't.
Well, you treat your wife like a king, and then you treat her like a king. Easy, diaper boy. Easy, diaper genie. I treat her like a jack, okay? I mean, you got king, queen, jack. I treat her like a ten. I treat her like a nine. She's like the Joker card. Throw her away. For real? I said to Woods, like, For instance, if I found out that my wife had an affair, I wouldn't come to work. You'd be distracted. Duh. Happy birthday. And Woods was like, no, you drag your butt into work. Yeah, you get here. You have a responsibility, dude. Jay! You get your butt into work. You have a responsibility to your listeners and your fans. Jay, if you found out, Jay, would they?
If you found out, no, they wouldn't. They wouldn't. They'd be on Facebook and they'd be like, happy freaking birthday. Yeah. Some of them would understand. They'd say, I'm praying for you, Mike. Three of them would. You'd still be able to do your job. Absolutely. You're telling me. You guys are just robots. That's why there's a personal life and a work life. Okay? That's why there's two. There's two coincides. All right. So I just want to paint out the scenario. stepping out, and you find this out at 6 o'clock in the evening, you're going to be devastated. I am. And you're going to come into work? Well, it depends on if the police will let me. Nah. If he gets out of custody. If he bonds out. Yeah, if they catch me. If that were me. I mean, the only reason that I would come to work is if...
I wanted it to be a distraction for me. I think you'd come in and not tell us. The minute you start talking about something like that, it just tears you up and distracts you from work. And we have a different, like what we do now is different than what I did before and what LOB did before. And hey, is it easier to come in here and do this job after something traumatic happens? You're damn right it is because this is like therapy and whatever else. And my friends make me laugh. Before, though, same bit at my last company, I would have gone to work. Jamie and I did break up and I went to work. I mean, I had to. We're forgetting and people on Facebook are all listing like, well, I did this and I came to work. I did this and I came to work. You don't get a medal. I've done a lot of stuff. I've found out about deaths while I've been at my desk and I had to go cry outside the parking lot and come back in and not say a word about it. We've all done stuff where you're like, yeah, I got through it. But there are the people that... Can't get through it. And you know they're going to be a mess. You know they're either weaker or they're drama-filled or they're just emotional. Whatever the excuse may be, but you know they're not going to be productive. Yeah. And I think to myself, listen, you're no hero. Yeah, talk about wussification of America, my friend. I try to be a hero. Hey, take a day off because you're sad. I think it's just being realistic with herself and not wanting to come slobbering into work.
She can't pull it together, then I don't want her there if I'm the manager. 570-1949 is our number. We got an email or a text from someone that got a call this morning from their employee. A girl said she's not coming into work because she had a breakup. Now, I don't think she's going to be good at work. I think she's going to be a mess, and what's the point? She obviously won't be good at work because she doesn't have the intestinal fortitude. She probably never was good at work. So she won't be good at work. Just because she doesn't have cojones doesn't mean she's not a good worker. Not the kind of team player I would want. Wait, wait, wait. You're saying now, L.O.B., that just because you're going through heartache, you don't have cojones? I've been through heartache and still come to work. That's you. That's what I'm saying, though. I'm saying I can handle it. I'm not. Trying to say that because I could do it, everyone should do it. And it also doesn't mean this. And I think that this is what some of the people are saying. They're like, hey, listen, if I can do it, everybody can do it. I'm just not going to be pleased if I'm her manager. I'm just not going to be pleased. And I'm entitled to feel that way. Because she has a job to do. I pay her for that job. And she's not there. I would say use your personal days or sick days however you want. But once those are gone, sister.
I'm not giving you any more. But she uses sick day. Yeah. But once they're gone, like if she uses them on stupid stuff all the time. M1 Jennifer agrees with Woods. Are you there, Jennifer? I'm here. Yes, I agree. If she wanted to take her sick day and use it however she wanted to do that, I don't think she should have told her boss that she was doing it because she broke up with her boyfriend. I think that automatically knocks down a level of respect for her. Take your sick day. Use it how you need to, but don't necessarily mix your business and personal life. I'll tell you what. Here's a little caveat. Let's say she takes off Monday, right? And she comes in Tuesday, and she comes to my office and says, Hey, I'm sorry that I had to call in sick yesterday. Jim and I broke up, and I was a wreck. I'm actually more sympathetic then than... Had having had to sit through the whole day knowing that she's home sad. You know, like if she comes in the next day and it's like, hey, this is what went down. I'd be like, OK, well, I'm glad you're back. If you need me, I'm here for you. Let's fight through this. What if she comes in and she says, hey, I'm sorry I wasn't in yesterday. Jim and I broke up and I was sad.
Yeah, I'm okay with that the next day. I don't want to be there Monday stewing about, oh, she's home sad all day. If I just think she's sick, I'm all right as her manager. I'm okay. I'm going to just come out and say it. We know who that girl is. We do. I am. We know who that girl is. It's me. No, no, no. It's me. It's the girl we have. If my wife breaks up with me or says, hey, listen, I know how you feel about divorce. I don't care. We're getting a divorce. I'm not coming to work the next day. I believe. I believe in the institution of marriage, so I do believe that people dating is different than people being married. I just think, like the last caller said, it knocks down a level of respect. My thoughts are that this girl is already the girl that people are like, gosh, drama. You already roll her. And honestly, you don't want her there. That's what I said. If this is like a thing. If this is her thing. If that's her thing. M1, Carol from North Park. Hello. Hi. Is this Carol? Yes, it is. Hi, Carol. How are you doing, guys? Good. I am totally behind wood. Okay. Well, you're not literally behind me. Why? Why? Because life happens. It does not stop for you. It does not stop for your tears. It doesn't stop for your pain. It doesn't stop paying bills. It doesn't stop anything else. Of course, work is number one. It's a true American right there. Number one A. I totally agree with that. That's what it's hard to put.
You have to do these things that you don't want to do just to have them in the number one position. Well, listen, if work is number one for you, you know, okay, but it's not supposed to be. No, I agree with that. By working hard and providing, you are taking care of your family. And that is something to be admired. You know what I mean? It really is. That puts your wife in a position to where you can help do things and get things. What a man needs to do is take care of his family. How does a man do that? By working hard. That's it. I took a lot of heat because I said that I don't change diapers. Right. And I need to change diapers. I need to. Now, there are other areas that I excel. One of them is staying with my wife. You know, the best thing you can do for your kids is treat their mother good. It's one of the best things you can do for their kid. But isn't that the Chris Rock bit of, hey, I take care of my kids. That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, what do you want, a brownie button? You're supposed to stay with your wife, right? But my point is, is that...
I think that a lot of times guys will use that as sort of an out. In other words, I don't spend time with my kids. And the reason I don't spend time with my kids is I don't want to. It's kind of a beating. It's a whip. They're talking about stuff and I'm like, I don't want to hear it. And plus it wears me out. I got to go in the backyard and throw something for so many hours or whatever. I just know, man, I'd rather. It'd be a lot easier for me to go in the office, my air-conditioned office with SportsCenter on, and bang out some work. And then I can say, it's my work, and I'm doing it for the family. Well, what you're actually doing is being a bad dad. And I know it because that's me. And I'm doing my best to get out of that routine. You know, spend time with the kids and actually do some stuff with the kids. Now, what I can tell you is that it's easier to not do that.
Much easier to not do that. And so I understand people saying, gosh, dude, you don't change any diapers? Well, all I'll ask you to do is put down the flashlight and pick up the mirror. I mean, there's got to be some areas in your life as a dad that if I saw it or if I heard it, I might say to you, really, so-and-so? Really? It's really easy for us. Wow, I change diapers. Mike doesn't. Okay. But maybe with your kid, you do something crappy. Right. You know? And that's all I'm saying. Before you pick up the flashlight, pick up a mirror. And by the way, by the way, they're right about the diapers. They're 100% right about the diapers. I got to change some diapers. I should be changing diapers.
I find that I think a lot of times people will jump to the critical when they should be criticized. That's our nature. It's just our nature as people that a lot of times will do that. We got our good points. We got our bad points. Well, I'm just saying different levels of sad. It was like you have to go to work. I don't care if you're sad or not. Jay's a worker. I don't care if you want to go see a concert the night before or go to work. Oh, boy. That was passive-aggressive. Wow, that was definitely true. I'm just throwing that out there, just a random thing. Just random. You just go to work the next day no matter what. Random bring-up. That was passive-aggressive. If you take the passive part out of it. Right. Just subtract that out of there. What's the point of having personal days if you can't take them? That is a true statement.
That we could pull out of that's a true statement. What's the point of having personal days if you can't take them? You have days off, though. You have your vacation days. But those are designated for taking a vacation. Those are actually what we used was a sick day. No, no, no. A personal day is whatever you want it to be. And that was a personal day. Remember when the teachers used to do that? And they didn't have to come in and explain where they were the day before. Well, yeah. You don't. If you have it. Listen, I heard Jim Rome say this one time. And I've heard him say it a bunch of times. Jim Rome takes approximately nine weeks of vacation a year. The reason I take vacation is because I get vacation. Right. Hey, listen. If the guy's earned those days. Yeah, I got no beef there. And if Sally's earned those days, literally Sally, what are you going to do? If I had nine weeks, guess how many vacation weeks I'd take. As a boss? Nine. Who? had people taking a lot of personal days, or we call them sick days, it definitely gets noted in the boss's book. If it's going over what you're allotted? No. If you're taking sick days, if you're taking more than your two weeks vacation, I'll log it. Oh, it's logged. Oh, it's logged. Consider it logged. It ain't just logged on paper. It's logged up here. If you just tell me, hey, you know what, I'm going to take a personal day. I'm going to log it right now. Especially if it's not, if you schedule it way out.
But the day before, if you go to me, you go, hey, you know what? I'm taking a personal day tomorrow. Really? I call it the P word day. Yeah. Yeah. Big P word. Can't imagine people would do that too often. Look who's not here. Mac went to see a concert and took a personal day. This makes Mac a P word. I mean, who the hell? Goes to see a concert and takes a personal day the very next day. Except for a giant pea. Now I'm drawing an arrow and drawing a big round circle with a tiny head and pointing to it. Now, I need a brown crayon. Curl him in. There he is. Mike's forming right there in the paper.
It's coming alive. Coming alive. If only it was eaten. A little be different. Dear laptop, you are an apple and I am so glad to see you. Jay is a big meanie. He told me, do not take the day off. But I did anyway. But I did not tell anybody else at the house that I was going to be home. So the kids, no play with me today. Maybe Woods wants to play. Let's go to McDonald's. Dare you. How dare you. Yeah, this is my second time in mean rehab. I've been through this thing, man. I've been through it a million times, but I just, I can't help it. I mean, I've been mean now for so long to my employees that it just don't work anymore. Five months later. You know, I actually, I feel a lot better.
I feel so much better now. I done got a call from one of my, what do they call them? Littlelings or? Underlings. Underlings. I always get Little League and Underlings confused. We know you do, Jay. One of my Little Leagues called the other day and said, Hey, Jay, my entire family was eaten by piranhas. I was finally able to say, all right, you can have a couple hours to think about it, and then you've got to come into work. But there's a couple hours I wouldn't have done just six months ago. This is Ed Adams. I'm one of Jay's doctors, and he has made remarkable strides. We've worked with Jay now. How long? It's been about nine months. Nine months. Gosh, when he came in, he was like a viper.
We called him a viper. He called me just about every name in the book about the C word. Yeah, he did. He was a big player. Do you remember that one time you took, she missed a day of therapy, her car broke down. That's right. And he laid into her like you wouldn't believe. They told me at Shady Valley, I was the first patient to ever yell at a counselor because they didn't show up to work. And that's actually something I take some pride in. Sorry. I used to take pride in. We had that exercise that we did. And so I no longer take pride in it. Hi, this is one of Jay's former employees. I'll leave my name blank. Is that Chris? Like Jay said my head was. I had a tattoo on my wrist that said love. And one day I missed work. And Jay told me that I should change my tattoo to say... Biggest Loser. True story. I didn't do it, but the last time I saw Jay, after he went to rehab, he said, I love your tattoo. So, thanks, Rehab Center. Thanks, Shady Valley. Oh, it's so true. It's so true. He drives a hard bargain. He does. He's trying to make sure the ship goes the right direction. You can't say that on the radio. He... He...
Put up so much resistance. Oh, man. That was something. Listen. And I'll be honest with you. I've been a little mentally worn out. Okay? Sure. A little mentally worn out. Now, and I know Woods right now just thought to himself. No, I haven't. I didn't. I have been. You didn't say it. No, I have been. You didn't say it. I've been worn out as well. Mentally. Yeah. Yeah, you know, and we all. Yeah. It's been a hell of a year. Well, that's the thing. You know, do you need a day? Take a day. We took a day and we had a family day together. It was wonderful. And I was so excited to get back to work on Thursday. Me too. I did too. I felt refreshed. I felt very refreshed and recharged. Yeah, we should do it every week. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? We have personal days. Let's just take them.
Jay had to return to rehab because he relapsed. After City of Color. After City of Color, he relapsed and started to get angry again. He had to leave early because he was so disgusted. They show a video of him walking out of the concert. Stupid, stupid guy. They're crying. Stupid wussy girl. Months later. I ain't going through this crap again. I don't even care. I don't care if they call me mean. I don't care what. The guy's a P word. Straight up. Rehab ain't going to work for me if that's what you want to hear. It don't work. All right? Call me Charlie Sheen. Call me whatever you want. I don't like this play. And that guy's a P word. So shove it. Underneath his name, it says dramatization. Not based on actual events. We played this earlier, but. It's worth another pass. This person does the most spot on Jim Morrison that I have ever heard. He's singing the song Reading Rainbow. Jimmy Fallon. It's all I'd do. If I could do that, it's all I'd do. I wonder if when he gets a song stuck in his head, he does it in Jim Morrison. Yeah. God, that's rad.
The Indian in the cupboard. Such a great book. There's a monster. There's a monster. At the end of this book. So good. So good. Good night, moon. Good night, star. Good night, air. Good night, noises everywhere. That's... Incredible. That's uncanny. Let's see how close it sounds to the real deal. Oh, wow. It's pretty good. Yeah. Identical. It's making 11 minute, 45 second songs real good. Wow. 11 minutes.
Jim, you're going to need to take a little time off that. No. Perfect as it is. It's almost 12 minutes long. I think it comes out perfect, though. It's almost 12 minutes long. This is 1969. Leave it alone. Leave it alone. Okay, Jim. Spoke out about Penn State. We'll play you what he had to say. Coming up next. Mikey Show on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. Pat and Kim.
Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or fm949sd.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9. This can be the best holiday season ever. Because we're celebrating with our most luxurious and capable Grand Cherokee ever. And with best-in-class 4x4 capability, standard 290 horsepower, and more than 540 miles highway driving range, it's no holiday miracle. It's the most awarded SUV ever. The Jeep Grand Cherokee. A holiday gift you'll remember forever.
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Get full details on the example policy at selectquote.com slash commercials. Your price could vary depending on your health, issuing company, and other factors. Not available in all states. Oh, I did not mean to do that. Jim, Jim, you don't mind me saying so. Your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. It's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like, slicing torsos like carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. Its all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what. Ah, and the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh, man, I gotta try alternative energy. Function, alternative energy. It's the delicious, healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function, alternative energy is energy with the brain. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. My favorite instrument is the triangle. My favorite flavor is caramel. My favorite animal is the seahorse. My favorite word is undulating. My favorite parent is my mom. Sorry, dad. My favorite McCafe drink.
I can't pick just one. Come take a fresh look at McCafe's luscious beverages made just for you with real whipped cream, rich chocolate, and drizzled indulgently with caramel. Whether it's the new caramel hot chocolate or an iced or hot caramel mocha, stop in today to find your new favorite, the simple joy of caramel at participating McDonald's. All right, guys. Ready for two weeks in the wild or what? Absolutely. All right, then strap on those backpacks. Hey, let me just check this text. Oh, come on, man. Oh, no. What? Not now. What is it? McRib is back. What? We're going to miss it. Uh, this backpack just got really heavy, guys. All right, everybody back in the car. We are going to McDonald's. Yeah, good. The holidays can be hectic, so participating McDonald's will be open on Thanksgiving Day. Take a break and visit your nearest location until 2 p.m. or later. Happy Thanksgiving from McDonald's. This holiday season, give your loved one the gift that keeps on giving. Giving off alert signals. Like those in the 2012 E-Class, with an attention assist system that can actually help alert drivers if it detects signs of drowsiness. Come into the Mercedes-Benz Winter Event now and get the Mercedes-Benz you've always dreamed of for a price you never dreamed possible. Now get the 2012 E350 Sport Sedan, part of the Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car category, for just 1.9% APR for 37 to 66 months, or a lease price of only $599 a month for 30 months with $4,369 due at signing. But hurry!
Offers end soon. The Mercedes-Benz Winter Event. May all your holiday wishes come true. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through November 30, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hone Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. Win four tickets to Jerome's best seat in the house of the Holiday Hootenanny. Sit in style on a Jerome's double reclining glider love seat while enjoying the show. Go to FM94.9.com for details. Jerome's, where Jerry's price is the absolute lowest price. Buy it today and have it in your home tonight. And now back to the mic. Tickets, please. With Mikey. I'm a pretty honest guy, and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it, as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had... Like 60 of those rings are on her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. It's a shame that girl's got such a flat chest. I know. Preacher's daughter. Really? Hear that, Mike? Yeah, Mike. You get it? Mm-hmm.
Woods puts this on his list a lot. Yeah, he does. Fair enough. Show us your cans was Jay's idea for Friday, and we are doing it. Pick it up. Dave and Buster's. We're going to go out there as soon as we're done with the show, but our promotion staff will be out there starting at 9 a.m. at Dave and Buster's collecting cans for the hungry. We would really like to feed the hungry, and we need your help. Everybody that donates cans is going to get $10 in power cards. Yeah. Everybody. Bams. And we're going to have an industrial-sized scale out there. We want you to tweet about it. We want you to put it on Facebook. We are raising food for the hungry. All of it's going to go to the San Diego Food Bank. By the way, the person that donates the most food is going to get four tickets, signed memorabilia, and a limo ride to the FM 949 Hootenanny. Wow. Limo provided by FestQuest. And here is their tagline. They say, let FestQuest do all the planning and transportation and transport for you and get you to San Diego events in VIP style. You can also visit their website, www.festquest.com. That's right. Yes.
I'm planning on bringing my cans out to Dave and Buster's myself. Thank you, George Takei. Are you bringing your boyfriend, Brad? It's actually pronounced Takei. I'm sorry, George Takei. Yes, it's okay. Are you bringing Brad Takei? Unfortunately, Brad and I are going through a rough patch. Oh, I'm sorry. I called Jay and asked him if I could have the day off, and he didn't understand. He said no way. He said, no way at all. And so apparently I've got to come in to work. What a fabulous idea! As a fellow gay man. It's not your turn. I was talking to you, Jay. I know who you're talking to. No, I mean... What a fabulous idea! Mike. Listen. God. You ruined everything. Is there anything you touch that don't turn to crap, Mike? Gosh. Like the reverse King Midas. What's his name? Midas. Midas. Midas. Yeah, you got it, Mike. You got the Midas touch. You got the Midas touch. The Midas touch, Mike. Wow. Let's see.
President Obama had an opportunity this weekend to talk about the stuff going on at Penn State. He weighed in. Everybody's weighing in. On your boy Sandusky? Your boy Sandusky Woods. Why are you wearing a shirt? That's your boy. Why are you wearing a shirt with his photo on it? This is Free Jerry. That's right. There's actually people, Penn State alumni, that are... Raising money for his defense or something? I read that this week and there's a former player from like the 50s or 60s that sent him money for his defense. And he said, well, everybody's entitled to their day in court. And I believe that. I do too. I believe that. Maybe you don't hate that guy. Anyway, here's ESPN asking President Obama about it. This week there was a story that certainly transcended sport. at Penn State. And yesterday, two senators from Pennsylvania, Senator Casey and Senator Toomey, rescinded their nomination to Joe Paterno, the former Penn State football coach, for his Presidential Medal of Freedom. What was your reaction? Well, obviously, the whole situation is heartbreaking. And we thank, first and foremost, the victims of these alleged crimes. But I think it's a good time for us to do some soul-searching, every institution, not just Penn State, about what our priorities are and making sure that we understand that
Our first priority is protecting our kids. And we all have a responsibility. We can't leave it to a system. We can't leave it to somebody else. Each of us have to take upon ourselves to make sure that our kids have the love and support and protection that they deserve. During that entire clip, Woods was pretending to pick up a rug and sweep stuff under it as Joe Paterno. I don't think calling the athletic director over to your house to let him know. Things that you didn't see. Hey, I wonder what their pleasantries were like on campus when he used to run into Mr. Sandusky. Jer, how you doing? No locker room for you. How are those pleasantries? I don't know. I don't know. Nine years of pleasantries. Yeah. Nine years. Apparently he never liked them. As opposed to what? Calling and saying, listen, I'd like to report a crime.
No problem, sir. What happened? Just wait until it all comes out. It's going to be bad. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm going on what I know right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he calls. He says, I'd like to report. This is Paterno. I'd like to report a crime. Yes, sir. What happened? Well, an adult man was having sex with a minor in our showers at Penn State. Okay, sir. When did this happen? Last night. At approximately 7 o'clock. Okay. And did you see this actually happening? No, I did not. Okay. Well, then how do you know about it? Because I have a witness. I have a witness. I have a kid that I work with that saw it from... Okay. Can we talk to him, please? Yeah. Yeah. Let me get him on the phone for you. He's right here. Yeah. I mean... Let me put Big Red on the phone for you. If it happens at your house, you're responsible. That is his house. That's his house. Great. It's not his... Listen. It isn't his... It wasn't at his house. I'm telling you. I know. But I'm saying his house. It's his office. It's his...
That locker room, that's Joe's house. Yeah. That college is Joe's house. You know that. I feel bad for him. I think he did. He did something. He did something, and I think that it was. He threw a rock through Sandusky's window, and attached to it was a note that said, I know what you did last summer. Right. He should have. So I feel like that's definitely something. He should have. Actually, somebody did just throw a brick through Jerry Sandusky's window. Weird. Yeah, weird. Wood says that the guy is out and he's like shopping and wearing Penn State stuff. It's so creepy. It was on ESPN on Friday. I'll say. There was another Republican debate. I didn't even know. Herman Cain is still running? Rick Perry still around? Yeah. Rick Perry still running? I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. I'm sorry, our time is up. It's go time at your Toyota dealer. They're here now. The cars, trucks, and SUVs you really want with great deals on every new Toyota. Go for 0% financing and save thousands on many of Toyota's best-selling models. Get zero APR on a new 2011 Prius or Corolla.
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Let's see, you could treat yourself or you can get this for somebody that you think deserves a gift of beautiful hair. You don't even have to wait for the holidays. Get it for them now so they can look fabulous for the holidays. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory rate. So that's it. Log on to OvationHair.com. Don't forget, FM949 at checkout to get your special rate. Tis the holiday season, meaning it's time for holiday travel. Lucky for you, it's also time for the Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep Big Finish event, where you'll get the best deals of the year on Dodge vehicles. Like the Dodge Durango featuring best-in-class power, the 2012 Dodge Charger with up to 31 mpg highway, and the Dodge Journey with an available 8.4-inch touchscreen. So no matter which Dodge vehicle you choose, you'll get to your holiday destination with your sanity in check. Get the year's best deals at the Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep Big Finish event. During the big finish event, lease the 2012 Charger SE rear-wheel drive for $319 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at lease signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax title and license extra. 2012 Wards vehicle segmentation. EPA estimated fuel economy rear-wheel drive with available 8-speed transmission. Call 1-888-4-Dodge for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. Must take retail delivery by 1130. Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC.
It's a great week to stock up at Vons. Get big values and unbeatable sales down every aisle and save even more when you use Vons Club for this week's special deals. Like tender, juicy Rancher's Reserve boneless beef round steak, only $1.97 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Add great flavor to a salad or make fresh guacamole. Large Haas avocados are just 77 cents each. And get an extra special value on soda. Buy two 12-packs of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or 7-Up. and get two of equal or lesser value free. Plus CRV in California, selected varieties must buy four. It's the season for soup. Cans of Campbell's condensed soup are just 99 cents each. Selected sizes and varieties must buy four. And don't miss your chance to beat the crowds for an exceptionally popular new release. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is available at 12.01 a.m. on Friday the 11th. This is the week for great values. Vons, ingredients for life. Jerome's Price Protection. Like layaway, choose your furniture, choose your monthly payments, and we'll lock in the price for one year. Everyone can do it. Buy your furniture with absolutely no interest, no fees, and no credit application. Price Protection, only at Jerome's. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program.
I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Would like to be reelected on the POD platform. That will be my platform, in fact. Welcome back. Man, somebody thought that I was gay bashing. Weird. Huh? When? When I was doing the George Takei voice. Oh, that's what he was talking about. So you can't do voices anymore. Yep. What about when I do this, man? Oh, you're Mexican bashing. No, man. Just because I'm doing a voice. You're Mexican bashing. What's the deal, man? I can't do that. No, no. But I haven't even said anything bad about Mexicans, man. It doesn't matter. You're Mexican bashing. Wait a minute. You're telling me that if I just do a voice like this and I say, yeah, Jay wouldn't let me come to work.
Because I told him that my sombrero died. Now that's a joke, man. Now it's a joke. Now you've gone over the line, dude. How does a sombrero die? It just dies, man. You haven't worn it for too long. It wouldn't happen at your house, Mike. That's true. You've never lost one. Well, you've never stopped wearing them, Mike. Come on, doing a voice. It's not gay bashing. Let's not get oversensitive here. He's an openly gay man. Yeah, very openly gay. Yeah. Mikey, you mean. Oh, George. You meant George. Sulu. Yeah, I'm talking about Sulu. He is a gay man. Yes, he is. Gay bashing. As a fellow gay man. That's not gay bashing. That's not gay bashing. That's a clip of him actually saying it. That's him. I am not gay. I never have been gay. Well, that guy's saying he isn't gay. Right. But he was a politician.
doing something that appeared to be. Yes, I would be. That's exactly right. This girl is something else. M1 Julian is on the line from Oceanside. What was the word of the day? It was platform. Bam! Look at you. Tickets to the 2011 Body Art Expo and a pair of tickets to go see Yo Gabba Gabba live. Oh, my girlfriend's going to love me. She is. There you go. That's sweet. So there was a debate this weekend. I didn't even know. And it was Herman Cain and Michelle Bachman. And it was time for them to. say what was on their hearts. I do not agree with torture, period. However, I will trust the judgment of our military leaders to determine what is torture and what is not torture. That is the critical consideration.
Mr. Cain, of course, you're familiar with the long-running debate we've had about whether waterboarding constitutes torture or is it an enhanced interrogation technique. In the last campaign, Republican nominee John McCain and Barack Obama agreed that it was torture and should not be allowed legally and that the Army field manual should be the methodology used to interrogate enemy combatants. Do you agree with that or do you disagree, sir? I agree that it was an enhanced interrogation technique. Huh? It's not you saying it's not torture. As president, you would return to that policy. I would return to that policy. I don't see it as torture. I see it as an enhanced interrogation technique. Congresswoman Bachman, your opinion on this question that our emailer asked. If I were president, I would be willing to use waterboarding. I think it was very effective. It gained information for our country. What is it again? Spicy meatball. What is it again? How does it work? Waterboarding.
From what I understand, they put you on a board, they put you at a slight angle, and they pour water on your face, and it gives you the sensation that you're drowning. But you're not. It gives you that sensation. I'll give you anything you want. I'll tell you anything you want. Yeah. But the fact of the matter is that you're not drowning. Right. But it makes you feel that way. You're not like in it. Or are you? No, you're not. It makes you feel like you are. They have all the stuff set up for it. I'm not saying I'm against it, but I'm just thinking at the same time, would you want that done to you? We're not terrorists. No. And we do know this. We do know that some of the guys that were interrogated at Guantanamo did give up information that led to the killing of Osama bin Laden and the information did come. from guys that were waterboarded. Some were waterboarded that weren't terrorists. Now, does that mean that it's right? It doesn't mean that it's right. Right. It doesn't mean it's wrong, yeah. Yeah. I'd do it to Jasper. He likes it. That's funny. It's just training. It's training. Some like slip and slide, you know. We do waterboarding. We do waterboarding. Just kind of, you know. He likes it, I mean. Yeah. Mike does, I don't know, tomato sandwich or something. Burrito toss. Burrito toss. Whatever it is.
Jay, I've never done a burrito touch. Haven't you? It's a lot of run, whatever you want to call it. You know, some burrow racing. Tamale throw, burrow race. Yeah, whatever you call it. Chimichanga, whatever. Eating contest. Like it's a contest. You win. Come on. Oh, and then Rick Perry had to address his big flub last week. He's going to shut down three different departments in our government. He just couldn't remember the third. Right. He could only remember two. And it was one of the most humiliating moments in debate history. So he talked about it. Governor Perry, you advocate the elimination of the Department of Energy. If you eliminate the Department of Energy, you remembered it. I had it written on my hand just in case.
Ouch. I've had some time to think about it, sir. Me too. I like it. He's never going to live that down. It's like Dan Quayle with the potato thing. With the potato. I like it. He's never going to live that down. That's a great response. You can't live that down. No. You can't. God, he was a train wreck. It made me so sick to my stomach. Well, it's one thing to be on the radio and you get, you know, nervous. It's another thing to be in front of the entire nation on national television campaigning to be the next president. And you can't remember one of the agencies you're going to shut down. That's pretty bad. That's pretty bad. 570-1949 is our number. Jay said that he had a great weekend. He got the new call of duty on Friday. And he says that at first he was not good at it. But after playing for four... Straight hours. That was four hours on Friday. Crap dad. He can... Crap husband. He says, now... Oh, it got worse. Well, I made love while I played, so it was no big deal. She liked it. Kim said, I hope you enjoy your mistress. Oh, wow. Now, does she mean the game or Adam? Yes to all the above. We played on Saturday night. We played till 3 a.m.
Oh, my God. You're a dork. You and Adam. Online. I had no idea what time it was. I was just like, dude, get him. Go. What are you doing? And they're set to play ping pong at 10.01 today. Oh, yeah. 10.01. The table's already spread open. It's ready to go. Wow. Those two are something. You guys are lovers. They really enjoy their Call of Duty. Oh, man. What's it called? It's the new Call of Duty. Don't even know. I don't even know. See, here's what I want to know. I think it's Modern Warfare 3. Isolate. Yeah. Isolate. Shut up. Isolate Warfare. Also, a great pair of sunglasses. Yes. My question is, if he is really, really good at Call of Duty, and he gets the brand new one, and it took him four hours to figure out, what about somebody that's never played the game? How could they possibly? How do you possibly figure it out if somebody that's good at it couldn't figure it out for four hours? I waited three days to get it. In that time, these kids got on and nonstop played and already prestiged, which means go all the way through all the ranks and start all over again. So they went all the way through the entire game. There were kids that did that? Oh, Finnegan went and got the game. He spent two days in his pajamas.
He would not leave. What's wrong with our country? Now, here's the deal. Here's the deal. The last thing that Jay can say to Finn is, hey, get off your butt and do something. That's the last thing he can say to Finn. I can still say it. You can't say it. Finn's like, dad, you're up until three in the morning. Hey, but I did all my chores. Did all my stuff. Played with Jasper. We went to the skate park. We did all kinds of stuff. Do you really tell him, get off that thing? Oh, yesterday I made him get off and clean up all the limbs in the yard. I cut off the trees. What are limbs? Limbs? Yes. They grow on trees. Okay. I read yesterday that it made $400 million in the first 24 hours. Booyah. Bunch of nerds. And it was interesting. Last night, Jeremy and I were watching football. I felt like there are more video game commercials now than there are movie commercials and stuff. And the one, is Jonah Hill in the UK? And I was like, this has to be a movie. But is it a video game? And then sure enough, it was for the 400 million. I read that on Twitter. Wrong business. It might as well. I haven't done my fact checking, but that's what I read. And I was, I mean.
Might as well be the biggest superstars in Hollywood because that's a box office open. Times 17. You know what I mean? It's amazing. It's a great game. The movies are terrible nowadays, so I guess somebody had to step up. Yeah. Hill, what do you got coming up next? Well, speaking of spicy meatball, I grabbed The Chemical Brothers, Group Love, Young, The Giants, and Ramones, and then... It's in my new top five, The Head and the Heart. Their self-titled recommended album is so, so, so good. So I'm going to play something off that. There you go. And Desert Island Discs at Noon are going to be good. There you go. The Lovely and Talented Hillary is up next, and we will be back tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Do it all over again. Mike shows up.