The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/16/10

0:42It's nice to be here with you. Tuesday. November 16. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome all. Welcome one. Welcome all. I'd like to welcome every nationality of person listening right now. I'd like to welcome gypsies. If you're here from another planet, I'd like to say welcome. Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. I'm 40 years of age, and I don't like it when my son Jake, who's four, jumps on me when I'm laying down on my back. I don't like it. He likes it. Of course he does. He thinks it's fun. He's hopped right onto my junk, and it hurts when it happens. It hurts me. And then he says, I'm so sorry, Daddy. That's all right, bub. Don't do it again. Don't do it again, though.

1:44And then he'll do it again. Have you read him Hop on Pop too many times? Knows how to real thing? Uh-huh. It's a Dr. Seuss book. I'm telling you. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Hop on Pop. Yeah, well, he knows how to do that. Yeah. And I certainly regret the day that I ever played this song for him. Yeah. Because it's all he wants to do. And he thinks it's real funny, and so does his mom. This is what I do. I sit on you. Does he sing this while he does it? I don't. He does. He sings this when he's doing it. That's genius. I got to tape him doing it. And like, first time he did it, funny. Hysterical. Not funny anymore. Kind of like Cat Crack. I love that song. Yeah, except that when I play the song Cat Crack, you don't have a four-year-old trying to sit on your head. Great. Really, already. You know, it's silly because cats don't smoke crack. I know they don't. That's why it's silly. That's why it just doesn't make sense. Silly is one word for it. Stupid. I bet Jake can still sing to that. He'll probably point to your cat Jules' butt. Probably. Cat crack. For sure. Woodsy's our sports guy. He's 35. He's sitting right in front of me. He's got on a Yankee cap.

3:26Lazy today. Are you? Yeah, I was lazy this morning. Just threw on that cap? Yeah. Didn't even worry about your... The exact same outfit as yesterday, by the way. Exact same. Really? Different shirt. Yeah. That's good. Same white v-neck. There you go. You do that a lot, though, the v-neck. The white one. You ever just give up? Four out of five days. Stop it. Just give up. Just give up. Woods is all worried that he's just giving up because he said yesterday he went to McDonald's. Again! Ten-piece McNuggets, he said. Well, at least he didn't get the 20. At least you didn't get 220. What else did I have? Large fries and cheeseburger because you need that for the ride home. I ate it on the drive home. What's the matter with me? And a large Coke, by the way. Yeah, giant Coke. I only drank about half of that, so I felt better. It's like the dude that gets the Diet Coke with the Big Mac and large fries. Give me a Diet Coke. What a pig. Yeah, what a pig. I went to In-N-Out over the weekend, too. I have no willpower.

4:24at all when it comes to McDonald's. I got to move away from my area because I drive past it every day and it's like, Woods, just come in, man. Just one taste, Woods. Just come get a taste. I'm salty. I taste good. I'll give you the first one free because I know you're going to be back. The Golden Arches just, whoa. How do you do it, L.O.B.? Oh, I went to Wendy's last night. What? What's happening around here? I don't know. It's a bizarro world. I know it. Well, we all wake up so early. It's the easiest thing to get, you know. Did you get the new fries? No, they're out tomorrow. That was my thing. I was like, I'll go try out the new fries, everything. It's research for the show. You were doing it for the show. Taking one for the team. The thing was, I spent like 17 hours doing the podcast yesterday, so I didn't have time to go shopping and to cook. I was like, I guess I'll just get some money. Passive aggressive.

5:16It's our girl Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B. Resident Wendy's lover. She loves her some Wendy's. So good. Can't get enough. Podcast queen. Podcast queen. You know, when they ask her at the end of her life, when they say, what was the most meaningful to you? She'll say really two things. Getting married to the love of my life and podcasting. Podcasting. Those two things. Wait, wait. Having children? No, no, no. Podcasting. Podcasting. Just getting those podcasts up for them. In a timely fashion, really, is what it's about. In a timely fashion. That would be nice. You know what it does for me? Everything. Everything. It does everything. When you click, when you finish that last one and you hit submit, how good do you feel? It feels real good. I bet. Knowing the joy and pleasure that you bring to so many out there in San Diego and really across the world. You know what's amazing is the fact that she still cries. when she clicks submit. Every time. 945, submit. You know. 945. Sienna is our news girl and she's 25 years of age. I know that she is Sienna because it is written on the top of her headphones. It sure is.

6:33Sienna. Yes, where we used to work there was Headphone Thieves. That's right. Really? Yes. Today we are playing a new game called Don't Stomp Sienna. Or is it Sienna Don't Stomp or something like that? It's Don't Stomp Sienna. Do not stump Sienna. Do not stump Sienna. Now, the way that the game works is that Sienna is the youngest person on the show and we basically exploit that. The way that we exploit it is that we know that when it comes to pop culture, she's pretty good. But she's mainly good from the 90s on to generation she grew up in. Maybe the 2000s on. The 2000s. 2000s on. I lose every game we play. We all know this. Yeah. And so when it comes to, you know, pop culture before the new millennium, you know, a lot of times she's not going to get it. So the way that this game will work when we play it is we're going to ask her a question with you on the line. And if she gets it wrong, you lose. Because that's what we kind of expect. So sad. But if she gets it right, all right, and you do not stump Sienna, you're a winner. Wow. How about that? Better hope I get one right. That's right. Jay is our producer. He is 47 years of age. And today our phone screener is Will. It's Will. It's Will. There's a lot.

8:01going on in the world, man. Really interesting stuff. Facebook is saying that they're really going to be making some massive changes. Yes. There's only four of you listening that this doesn't apply to. Yeah, seriously. Well, yesterday the CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, made a big announcement and Facebook is going to be providing something new to all 500 million users. Oh my gosh. Every user is going to get an at Facebook dot com email address. Now, this is part of their revamping messaging system. It's going to integrate all types of communication. So this email will also integrate with text messaging, instant messaging and has something to do with your cell phone numbers, too. So it's all combined. And the good thing about that is Facebook, since they know who our friends are already. For most people, they have a really good job of filtering. They'll be able to filter a lot better than standard email addresses because they know, is that your friend? Is that not? Is that junk? Is that not? Is this spam? So this should be coming soon. The only thing about it is, and I think that everybody can agree with this, is that you don't want to change your email address. I think it's great.

9:17I think it's great that Facebook is going to have a brand new email address for you at Facebook.com. Now, if somebody just came to planet Earth and they don't have an email yet, that's perfect. But most of us, we have an email address, and we don't want to give out a new one to 80 billion people. It's like changing your phone number. High school students and middle school students. So now they have another one? No, a lot of them don't have an email when they're that young. And if they do, it's not something that they really use. You can ghost it, too. Basically, you take your existing one and just ghost the new account over onto it. Now, how do we know that we can ghost it? How do we know that we can take our... you know, Hotmail account and make it go to Facebook? How do we know we can do that? I'm sure he's a smart cat. Basically, every email server that you use should have some sort of forwarding option. And this whole thing is a way to integrate so that...

10:13You'll have every conversation you've ever had with any friend that has ever lived in one place. That's great. That's dynamite. That's Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Thank you, Mark. In studio this morning. Billionaire. One step closer to Facebook becoming a country. Yeah, a country and a world power. Mark, can I borrow $5,000? Oh, yeah. It's just in my... Thank you very much. In the crease of my pocket. Score. Billion dollars and still haven't seen a girl naked. Yeah, true. I have a girlfriend. He has a hot girlfriend. Weird. But that doesn't mean he's seen her naked. Half a billion people are on Facebook. That's insanity. One account for every 14 people in the world. That includes people that live in huts and stuff. Zimbabwe, yeah. They're probably on there. Yeah. They're probably on there. Undelet. Wow. I wonder if you can type the clicks. Phonetically, you can write. They're probably like dots. Meet me at the dance tonight. Please wear that red dress. Haven't you ever seen the different languages on Facebook? Yeah.

11:30It freaks me out a little bit. Ah, what are they saying? My boys at work used to, we wore the headsets when we talked, you know, so we could walk into another room. And I had my own office, but I still like to walk. Yeah. So I'd come back and my Facebook would be changed to Japanese. Yeah. And I would have no idea what to do to get it back. It's so awesome. I think it's funny. They have pirate. They have pirate talk. Yeah, pirate talk. They do that too. You can change it to sound like a pirate. Yeah. That's awesome. Really? It's hysterical. I'll do it to yours as a prank. Don't. I'm going to. I'm going to. When you go pee-pee, I will. Prince William's engaged. Woo! You can't just say it like that. It's a big deal. Is it? Yeah. In England. No. Yeah. In Liverpool. You guys. In Birmingham. I feel especially close to this because I believe that in some life of mine, I was in the royal family. Oh, my God. What? We're on the radio, you know, right? It doesn't matter. We're on the radio. I'm speaking the truth. Yeah. She believes that, by the way. She had a dream or something. No. You went to Buckingham Palace. I went to Buckingham Palace when I was 20 years old, and I stood outside, and it hit me. Deja vu. A brick. I've been here before. Were you like SOB? Not only have I been here, I've lived in this. I've lived here. Wow. Maybe it sounds crazy. I know, but I'm telling you. No, it sounds crazy. I know, but I don't know. I think.

12:51Did you walk in there and go, get out of my rent? You know, maybe I was like a servant or something. I don't know, but I've been in there and I had something to do with the royal family because. You know you weren't a servant. Come on. I know. That's true. I need some pie. Bring me some shepherd's pie right now. And some bangers and mash. And a Guinness. I need some tea and crumpets. Tea and crumpets. Yeah. Well, Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton, that lucky, lucky lady. Holy cow, man. What? They've been dating for 455 years. Since 2003. Maybe he asses or gets off the pod. No, this is different because he's royal. Yeah, he's got to make sure. You can't just do something like that and just propose. He can do whatever he wants. Which one's Prince William? The older one? Yes. Little horsey? The attractive one. No, Harry's the attractive one. No, Harry's the little redhead. No, no, no. He's hot now. He used to be the attractive one, and then he got, like Sienna said, a little horsey.

13:51Wait, why am I talking about the royals? Because you're gay. Oh my gosh, I don't want to talk about the royals. You're engaged and they will be having a wedding in London. Why? Because you're talking about the royals. Okay, fine. They're saying the spring or summer of 2011 and he proposed last month and the British royal family announced it this morning and he proposed in Kenya. Really? Yeah, probably a port. A port of private jet. She's a cute girl. I like her. I approve. She's a teacher too. His mom was or no? I made that up. What does she do? Why did you just? I thought they liked her because she was like. She's an astronaut, right? Yeah. Well, no, I mean. She's a waitress. I don't know if she's a teacher. She may be. I know that her parents are millionaire entrepreneurs. They run a party. Party pieces. Why did you? She's a forward for the next, right? No, I thought I had heard like way back when they've been dating forever. She was also a teacher. No, she's an accessories buyer for a British clothing chain.

14:54Whatever. Maybe it's the other one's chick. Or that's what she was. I don't know. I couldn't care less about the fact that Prince William is engaged. What? Thousand percent. I agree. That is my number one story exclamations when I saw it. Sienna's into it. You guys, he's my distant cousin. Yeah. Well, good for you. That'll be a nice wedding. Yeah, have fun at the wedding. That'll be a cheap affair, I'm sure. Gotta wear a funny hat. You know what I do think is interesting, though, is the fact that the geezer bandit struck again. No way. Now, the last time he struck was June 24th, and that was in Riverside. So he's moved from San Diego, 10 bank robberies in San Diego, moved to Riverside. Then everyone thought, well, is he gone? Is he done? You know? No. He struck on Friday. You know what I think is interesting? When you rob a bank, usually they put dye in the money so it explodes and you can't use it. But if you're smart, you know how to separate the dye pack. Didn't you see Point Break? No. That's exactly what he's doing. He's going where the waves are. He's back. He's back from summer vacation. So there is a way to do that. Yeah, you separate the dye pack. Okay, so dude is separating the dye pack and he has all this cash. Yeah. Well, my question is, like, don't you, like, he must enjoy it.

16:12It's the rush, probably not the money. Yeah. Because he's got a lot of money, you've got to think. And isn't some of it marked or the serial numbers are traced? Sequential bills. How much money could he have, though? 12 banks? No, but it's the teller in the front. How much money do they have? A lot. I mean, he can get $20,000 probably a pop. Are you serious? Oh, yeah. So he was probably going to put it back in the black market somehow and exchange that money. Launder it. Launder it. What does that mean? What do you do? Laundering money? Yeah. You basically make that money untraceable. And you can do it. What am I talking about? Do you bleach it? Ask your son Luke. He'll probably know. I know, huh? Do you know how it's done or no? Yeah, I mean, there's ways to do it. You can funnel it through legitimate stuff like stocks and bonds. You can take it to people that know how to launder it, but they take a nice little cut. We have somebody on the line that knows how to do it. Okay. So how do you do it? It is very easy to launder. What's your what's your cut? Well, I I'm not bringing shirts and I'm bringing money in. I will get laundered Just to charge you flat rate

17:38Frat rate. Frat rate. Okay. And then maybe I say to... This is $20 because it's $20. Okay. Not bad. Wow, that's not bad at all. $20 for every $20,000. And then I ask you, you want to write medium or... I have $15 to my name. How much will that cost me to launder? $15,000. That doesn't make any sense. I only have $15. Oh, okay. But if you come back with more money, then how do you more? Okay, that makes sense. Can I get a claim ticket? For sure. And when I get this claim ticket, I'm not going to bring it back in. I'm just going to give you my last name because I always lose the claim ticket. So I don't even know why you guys give them out. Why don't you just take the last name? Rubbery. I have no problem with it. Okay, thank you very much. Don't insult me.

18:43I'm not. Don't insult me. So the geezer brandon stuck on Friday in Bakersfield. He did the same thing he always does. He walks up to the teller, hands him a demand note, shows him the gun, and gets the money. And this time, this was at 6 p.m. on Friday night at the Bank of America in Bakersfield, and the teller told the police that he appeared to be wearing a Halloween old man mask. So this is a first teller, because we've had this theory. I'm sure everyone does now. How do we know it's the real geezer? Right, and is this really an old man? No, it looks just like him. I mean, it's the geezer bandit. Where was it? In Bakersfield. Northern California? Hasn't he only been down here? Yeah. I wonder if it's a copycat up there. Riverside in Southern California. But it would be smart of him to move around. Well, yeah, for sure. He's going where the waves are, like I said. Just like Point Break. There's no waves in Bakersfield. There's tons of waves in Bakersfield. Definitely. The FBI spokesperson said this guy is believed to be identical to the geezer bandit. So you think it's Brody? Yeah. No, it's Bodie. Bodazapha. I will tell you this. This geezer bandit ain't no geezer. In the beginning, that's what we all thought. Yeah. Are you guys on that train? Question. What?

19:55Do they have security guards in these? No. I don't think so. Because if I see an old guy walking in a mask, I'm tackling them, right? Every bank has at least one security guard. You would think. But a lot of times they're like 90 years old. Yeah. Sitting there sleeping, yeah. They don't want to mess with it. They're making sure people don't park and then go use a different store. Yeah. That's their job. Maybe this is a retired guard getting his just desserts. Yes. Yeah. Hey, pal, you can't park today if you're going to go over to Jamba Shoes. This is bank parking only. Let me tell you something. I cannot wait for the day that we get to find it all out. And Sienna's like, you know, turns out it's 27-year-old Dennis so-and-so, you know, and it's like that kind of bit. Think that guy's going to get any panties mailed to him in jail? Oh, absolutely. Weird. Think he'll be married within a year? There's like groupie, geezer, jail, groupies. Well, they have Facebook pages for him. already the geezer bandit i want to put that girl under a microscope and study her who's the girl that's like i'm gonna write him i'm gonna write him how about the girl that's like i'm gonna marry him yeah he's got life in prison but i'm gonna marry him i'm gonna marry i know what that i know what that's about it's desperation you know you're like hey listen nobody he'll love me because

21:19He's in jail. He can't go anywhere. Of course he's going to love me. He can't cheat. He can't cheat. And I will feel so wanted by him. I know this because I wrote Pamela Smart while I was going to write her. What? Yeah, I talked myself out of it when I was obese Mikey. You know the girl that had her husband whacked, but she was like seeing a young man that was like her student. Remember that? Yeah. I was like 20 and I was like... I think you're innocent. Mike, you can't just throw this. You're on the radio, dude. People can hear this. People can hear this. It'll be in my book. Oh my gosh. Does your wife know this? She does now. Listen, different time. Different time. But in all honesty, haven't we all considered writing Pamela Smart? No. Never. No. I don't think so. You know, some sort of it. LLB, you never consider writing Richard Ramirez, The Night Stalker? No. Or anything like that? Never. Oh, wow. Yeah. Is she out of prison? Maybe the Menendez brothers. She's not. So.

22:30This big iTunes thing is supposed to be happening in 35 minutes. Yes, at 7 o'clock, they're going to be making a big announcement over at iTunes. Apple is. Do you want me to say it now? They never do announcements over at Apple? No, we'll tell you when we come back. Is Alex Spanos selling a portion of the Chargers? Is there a new stadium in the works somewhere in Southern California not called San Diego? I sure hope this isn't the perfect storm, man. Another new Michael Jackson song. It's all coming up. So big stuff to tell you about. iTunes says that in 26 minutes they're doing something huge. There's like a countdown on iTunes that they're going to be doing something huge. And you know, Woodsy, the thing is that I feel like when they say something's coming, it's pretty big. It always is. They got cool stuff. Maybe they don't do it once a week, though. I don't feel like they do. iTunes?

23:44No, not just iTunes. Apple. Yeah. But every time they release something, it's not, like, lame. It's good. No, no. It just takes away from the... It loses its luster, my friend. Well... You kind of have to with, like, Google and Facebook and Amazon. Everybody's got to differentiate. Yeah. And then Woods is going to tell you in Woods on Sports about Alex Spanos and is he selling part of the Chargers and... Is there a new stadium that's going to be going up and where? It's just stuff, so we've got to get to it. Also, 7.30 this morning, Woodsy is doing the Incorporator, and he will be calling a yoga studio. I'm not doing the Incorporator. Well, you're going to do the voice of our program director, Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Good morning. Word of the day today is gravy. How about that? Word of the day today is gravy. Sounds good. Sometime between now and 10, I'll say the word gravy when I do. Caller9 gets a Mikey Show t-shirt, which is great. Are these new? Yes. Brand new Mikey Show t-shirts. I don't have one. I don't either. I have one. A pair of sunglasses from Anarchy, and you're going to enter into a drawing for a two-night stay at Aquarius Casino Resort in Laughlin, plus a $50 gift card. This is a $500 value just on that alone. It's located on the Colorado River.

25:05And they got great stuff to eat there, incredible restaurants, world-class entertainment. And it also includes something called Rage at the River Off-Road Racing Event. And that's happening on December 10th through the 12th. And you get to go to all of it. So it's like no place. It's like you own the place. It's a lot of fun. Okay. Mikey Marathon. Mikey-thon is going to be Mikey-thon 2010, ladies and gentlemen. Yay! Mikey-thon 2010 is on. It's happening the 16th and 17th of December, and we will broadcast for 28 straight hours for Rady Children's Hospital and their Autism Discovery Institute. It's really going to be incredible, and we can't wait. Okay, so Sienna, what is happening on iTunes? Well, at 7 o'clock this morning, like you said, in like 25 minutes from now, they're going to be... doing something with iTunes. Now, there's a lot of speculation. They think that maybe they're announcing a subscription service to iTunes where you can subscribe to a certain amount of music and stuff like that. Or they're saying maybe it could bring together iTunes and cloud computing, which basically is a way for users to store their music and videos and have access to that stuff on any computer they go on. Wouldn't that be nice? That is solid. And so I have a feeling that's what it is. That's what people are.

26:29really thinking it's going to be. That's sick. So I go to, I go on vacation with my wife to Barbados. Yep. And I'm like, I really want that new Nelly song. And I can log onto a computer there and log into my iTunes. Why haven't they done that from the get-go? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You could do that anyway. I don't think so. If you want the new Nelly song, you can download it from iTunes. But what this is saying is that your entire iTunes library that you already own will be accessible from Barbados. But if you log into iTunes, isn't it accessible? Because, Mikey, I can't go to your house and go to Apple.com. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because if you have a computer at home and you're downloading stuff onto that computer, that's where the music is. You're right. But if you have a laptop, you may only have downloaded four songs on your laptop. But if you have this service, you can now... have anything. The music will be archived on their server. I'm pretty tech savvy if you couldn't tell. So this is happening at 7 o'clock so just a few minutes we'll find out because right now Apple isn't giving away any hints and people are going nuts so we'll find out in just a few minutes. I do think they think of new and innovative things and I like it. It'll be a fun company to work for. It'll be exciting. Okay so this is new.

27:53Yesterday we played this Akon Michael Jackson song and we were kind of surprised. We were like, man, that's not bad. Pretty good. It's pretty good. So here's another one. Clip of another one. Weird. This will be the new bit. Make it right for yourself, Michael. I'm kind of irritated that that came out. Michael? Is this you, Michael? This is Michael Jackson. Hi, Michael. Wow. Hello, Michael. Hello, Michael. I'm kind of irritated that this is getting released already. Why? It wasn't mixed down the way I wanted it to, and it was originally supposed to have Liza Minnelli impersonation. Don't you have bigger problems? I don't have any problems, man. You're dead. Yeah, I have problems. I don't have any problems. Sounds like a problem. Wow.

29:41Bless you. Gesundheit. Thank you, Wood. You're welcome. Who are you singing that song for? None of your business, man. Why do you always have to know? 12-year-old boy? What? Oh, stop. What's up? You're such a jerk, man. You don't know anything about anything. No, you don't. Don't I? Make things up. Did I make up the fact that you said it's okay to sleep with little boys? Oh, shut up. That I saw you say it? Did I make that up? You ever just... You ever just... Leave me... Okay. No problem. Can I ask you a question? Sure. What about the reader, man? How come... How come what? How come you never talk about... I wanted to. What? I wanted to. I was fully willing to. And have since. Blogged about it. The whole thing. Wood's gotten in a little trouble a while back. Kid's honest. That's what we're talking about. I'm honest. You know that. Living the truth is what I learned.

30:41You bet, you bet. That's right. You know it. Why don't you beat it, pal? That was such a thriller. I had to talk to the man in the mirror, you know? Yeah, just take a look at the man in the mirror. And make some changes. I didn't think that song was as good as the Akon song. No, it sounded like a throwback. It did, kind of. I was kind of more in on it. Really? It's kind of old school, Michael Jackson. Let's see if I can find the one from... Hold Your Hand, I think is what the Akon one's called. Yeah, it's pretty good. Here you go. Sounds like cat crack at the beginning. So good. If they release this on the radio, it's going to be a hit. Yeah, for sure. He kind of always says convict. He didn't say it in this one. He's proud of his. That's good.

31:59He's wearing that hat and doing that dance. Oh, yeah. Maybe he has a cane. Up on one foot, yeah. New favorite song, maybe? It's pretty good. I love it. I do, too. Me, too. I think I might burn it. I think I might download it. Do it. Sorry. Maybe wait until the new iTunes announcement. Yeah. So there it is. What else is going on? You know what I want to do? I want to get right to it because there's so much stuff I want to know about today. There's so much happening in the sporting world. Last night? Holy cow, man. What happened last night? It's nuts. Yeah. Woods, Woods, Woods. Steven. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. So, do you need proof that karma does not exist?

33:02Michael Vick passed for 333 yards and four touchdowns and also ran for two touchdowns last night. The Eagles destroyed the Redskins. 59-28 on Monday Night Football in Washington last night. Setting records. Just killing dogs and setting records. That's what that guy does best. Last night they were setting records. I hate how mean that is. What? You just... You can't let the guy change. No way. I never will. He's a sadist. He's a sadist. He's missing a chip in his brain that makes him normal. Karma will come around and get the guy sick. What about rapists? Do they get a second chance? No. Just because you paid your debt, I'm out on you. The guy kills the dog. Here's the thing. You're missing the chip. He's missing it. Here's the deal. I think, and maybe you feel differently, but I feel like guys that mess with kids and guys that are serial rapists and guys that are serial killers, I have a hard time believing they can be rehabilitated or changed, but who knows? Maybe they can. But I never saw these guys that are dogfighters as serial killers. You didn't see them as sadists? I did. Michael Vick's a millionaire, right? Yeah.

34:16Was he doing it for the money? No. That's sadistic. Period. Yeah, but he grew up where that was a sport. I did too. I did too, by the way. So did a lot of people. Do you dogfight? Guy's a clown. He's a clown. Listen, I grew up in Yuma, Arizona. And in Yuma, that was like a very cool thing. And if you got to see it, you were lucky. That's sadistic. Woods, I'm just telling you that when I was a kid, I had no idea that that was like awful. You know, to me, that was like... That's what happened. That's what people did. It was normal. It doesn't make it good. That's crazy. It's very crazy. You can become desensitized. You become desensitized. I grew up in Texas where you think that that would go on and it's like nobody was doing that. Absolutely not. You're a different kind of human to do that to animals. You had respect for animals. Different kind. You ate them and killed them. You're missing something. You're missing something upstairs. And now what I can tell you is now that I'm an adult and I, you know, I had to be, honestly, I had to be like, oh. They don't do that? Like, I mean, I personally didn't dogfight. You don't do that. Yeah. You don't do that. I understand. You don't do that. But here he is, the man of the hour, Mike Vick, talking about just there was a little pregame skirmish between some of the safeties from the Redskins and the Eagles, and it fired the guys up. Cut one. Everybody was in tune within the game plan, and, you know, everybody was fired up and ready to go, especially after the altercation we had in the beginning.

35:41You know, that's what you want out of your team. Whatever it takes to get him fired up, to get him going, and to motivate him. He is the man. He's a man among boys. On the football field, the guy is ridiculous. He's phenomenal. Dude, he looked. I watched. I can't look at the guy. Like physically, I can't watch the guy. I watched a couple plays. It was like unbelievable as I'm sitting surrounded by my five dogs, by the way. Yeah. Well, he wasn't fighting Yorkies. No. Yeah, but he was throwing household pets into the ring with pit bulls. The guy's amazing. I read the whole thing. He's a monster. He was throwing household pets into the ring. What did you read? L.A. Times, Washington Post. I'll show you the article. I mean, I've done my research on the guy. He's a deplorable human being. I mean, great football player. I'm not going to take that away. Here's the deal. This is what I've read and what I've seen because I saw some specials on him on ESPN. is that he had a heart change. He got caught. Yeah, he did. That'll change it real good. It will. It's happened with us where we get busted and they're changing us. It's like you hit rock bottom. Drinking and driving or drinking is different than electrocuting and drowning defenseless animals. It's my soapbox. It's Woods on Sports. That's my opinion. You guys are scum.

37:07If I saw him walking down the street, he'd be like, you're a dirtbag. I'd tell him to his face. He's terrible. But the guy plays the hell out of football. No. All right. Zero percent. That's fair enough. Zero percent. Yeah. Terrible. I was so fired up last night watching that guy. I'm like, how is there? There's no karma. There's obviously no karma. It'll come around. Oh, dude. Just kills me. Sorry. Also, there have been some details emerging on a downtown Los Angeles football stadium. So in Monday's Sports Business Journal. There was a quote. AEG has issued a proposal to design a $725 million stadium in downtown L.A., retractable roof, 40 field-level suites, and 218 luxury boxes. Oh, no. They're talking about the target date is August 15, 2015. Why don't they just get their own team? Yeah, well, the connecting story is that the Chargers team owner, Alex Spanos, has hired Goldman Sachs. to sell a minority stake in the Chargers, according to Report Monday on NFL Fan House. So he owns 36% of the club, and each of his children, which has four, have 15%. He's going to sell his minority share. So he is 87 years old. He's not in good health. He's going to sell his 30-some percent. Yep.

38:28Like, is there anything we can glean from that? What do we, you know? What I saw this weekend was that they said, oh, yeah. And he said it so flippantly. It was a guy on, you know, game day countdown or whatever. And he's like, yeah, they're going to build a new stadium in L.A. And, you know, the lead team to move into that stadium would be the San Diego Chargers. And that was it. And I stopped and I go, did he just say the Chargers? But you told me that's been the bid here for years. It's been the bid for a long time. So I think, you know, now's the time to get some things going here for a new stadium. Yeah. You know, to keep the Chargers here because can you imagine this town without the Chargers? No. It would be terrible. And then before the game last night, Donovan McNabb signed a $78 million deal with the Redskins. Wow. What's going on there? Yeah. You know, two weeks later, two weeks before, they benched him in the two-minute drill because they said he didn't have the cardiovascular endurance and ability to run the two-minute drill. Yeah. So what do they do? They give the guy basically $40 million in guaranteed money. Wow. So it sounds like they are – that says a lot to me about what they feel about Mike Shanahan. They're smoking cat crack in Washington, I think. Yes, they are. Yeah, so he is about to turn 34 years old. He's having his worst season since he was a rookie. Threw three picks last night and $78 million. But here's his agent.

39:48Agent Fletcher Smith talking about the deal. Cut two. I asked him if he wanted to be here, and he said that he loved it here. Loves his teammates. For $40 million. Loves the city and the way the fans have embraced him and the organization as well. So as long as he was happy here, it made it easy for us to get it done. Yeah, I guess. $40 million guaranteed money. It's crazy. Isn't that nuts? And then finally, the Chiefs' Todd Haley, the coach, we talked about the story yesterday. had pointed his finger at Josh McDaniels from the Denver Broncos, would not shake his hand after the game in which the Chiefs got beat, and he came out with a statement yesterday that says, quote, it sounds like it's become a big deal. I do want to apologize for not shaking Josh's hand after the game. I do believe in doing what's right, and that was not right. I let the emotions of the situation get me. I apologize to Denver and the fans of Denver and to Josh. Oh, wow. So that's that. It's Woods on Sports. There you go. Woods on Soapbox. Yeah. Yeah, I'll get you. I'm like convicted about two things in my life, and that's one of them. What's the other? Beating up girls. Anything like that. Kids, dogs. Kids, dogs, and women. You're going to get woods. No, you're going to kill me. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to kill me on that bit. I understand. I mean, I think everybody thinks it's bad. Yeah. When you look at him, like, how could anyone forget? I know. You know, that's my thing. You can't. I don't think you can forget, but I mean.

41:13The argument lasts. I love redemption. I want somebody to turn their life around. I do too. Now, here's the thing. I've screwed up so many times. Been arrested. You know, the whole bit. But there is something in somebody that, the stories I read, and I'll show you. If you don't believe me, I'll show you. Well, I read the indictment. Right. The day the indictment came out, I read it. Filthy. What's behind stuff like that is, it's sadism. It's not culture. It's not how you were raised. It's not education. It's sadistic pleasure. You're a millionaire fighting dogs for $23,000. You want to see them get hurt. You want to kill them. They drowned them in a bucket of water. They electrocuted them. He took one, him, took one and slammed it to the ground so hard it died. Dude, you're missing something in your brain. There's something not right in there that's going to allow you to be like... This is okay. You're missing compassion. And for all the mistakes I've made, that's one thing I do have is compassion for humans and animals. And so the argument was, well, he paid his debts to society. Well, there's a lot of criminals out there, I think, that pay their debt to society. And that's not even my thing. And I'm like, dude, that doesn't do it for me. Dude, my thing is not, oh, he's paid his debt to society and gone to prison, and so everything's better now. You know, what I would like to believe is what he is saying, which is that he's had a changed heart.

42:37What else could he say at this point? I think he doesn't have to say anything. I mean, the fact of the matter is when the guy was on trial for this, he tested positive for marijuana. He wasn't taking it seriously. He got a longer sentence because of it. He was involved in a shooting right when he got signed with the Eagles. I mean, really? Are you really a change man, Mike Vick? You're a hell of a football player. I tip my cap to you. Man, there's a special place for guys like that. Sometimes you have to say what you have to to get back. Oh, yeah. He wants people to believe him, so he's going to say anything. For sure. Watching that guy play football, it's a symphony. Truly. And I forgive him, man. I mean, I guess I have to. Until he does it again. And if he did it again, then it would be like, wow, I guess you really haven't changed. Gosh, man. Well, he's working with at-risk youth now, and he's working with the SPCA. And that's the thing. It's like, you know. But if you are, you know, when you hear these awful stories about serial rapists, serial killers, serial, you know, pedophiles and stuff like that, when they're let out, they do it again. Oh, yeah.

43:41If you put him in the same category, that means that there will be a story of him getting caught fighting dogs again. Or bankrolling somebody that's fighting dogs or something like that. Here's the deal. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. It won't just be that because if he is a true sadist, then that means he has an unquenchable thirst for the blood of animals. Absolutely. And so what we'll hear is that he's out there dogfighting again. Could be. Well, it could be. According to you, it's if he gets caught. If he gets caught. Now, if he gets caught. But according to you, he has an unquenchable thirst for it. He's got the same brain as a serial killer. And so he will one way or another. No, I said he has the same brain as a sadist. He's missing that part. He's missing compassion. At least we know for animals. So he's out there right now, you know, current day. And he, in your opinion, he's probably, the chances are very high. The odds are very high that he's out there. sadistically abusing animals. Even to this day, he just hasn't been caught. And by the way, I would say that, I would say that, me, I would say that the chances are very high about a serial killer that's been released, a pedophile that's been released.

44:54Or a rapist. Or a rapist that's been released. If they've been released from prison, I would say, I think there's a high probability they're out there committing this crime. Sure. Just a matter of time. It's just a matter of time. And so if your logic is that, Woods, you think that he's doing it now probably and hasn't been caught, right? Song. Yeah. It could be. There you go. It could be. Now, if that's a deal, we'll wait. We'll see. You know, and it may be that that's his bit, man, and that, you know, he cannot be changed and that's what he's doing. Oh, man. But I hope not. George W. was on Fox and Friends yesterday. He was talking about a prank that his dad once played on him. He hasn't talked about this. Here's the thing. Has your dad ever played a prank on you? And if he has, did it involve your testicles? Because George W. says that his dad played a prank on him and it involved his testicles. I haven't heard this yet, but... I can't wait. I want to know. And it's next. What a jip. Is that true? It's a jip. Is that true? They just announced. Well, I guess. It has to be the deal. So if you go to iTunes right now, guess what it is? They're selling the Beatles now. Come on.

46:26Apple's been promoting this huge announcement that they're making. They're saying, you know, this is a day we'll never forget on iTunes. And so we've been waiting until 7 o'clock, and it's that they're having the Beatles now. It does say something, though. You know what's irritating about it to me is that I say, okay, it's very, very meaningful. Not if you're a Beatles fan, because I guess I'm a Beatles fan. I think it's meaningful to you if you're a big Beatles fan. Because if you're a big Beatles fan, you're like, oh, now I can get it all. If you're just a Beatles fan, though, you're like, oh, cool. But if you're also a big Beatles fan, don't you already have all the CDs and it's already on your iTunes from the CDs? I know.

47:15What else? There's a bit on there. It just says it's not. It says tomorrow is just another day that you'll never forget. Check back here tomorrow for an exciting announcement from iTunes. What did I say in the opening break? You mean on iTunes it says that? Yes. What did I say in the opening break? Maybe you don't have a press conference every day. Yeah. Oversold. It's like Mikey and Inception. Oversold. It says it on the iTunes store homepage and also apple.com slash iTunes. See, for me, I just went to iTunes, and it just has the Beatles and all their stuff. Hmm. Tomorrow is just another day that you'll never forget. Oh, yeah, you guys aren't updated. That was what was up before 7. Oh, really? Yeah. I just put this up. I just did, too. Hit the home button. Hit the home button. I did. So did I. You're a special customer, Mike. Yeah, are you special? So, yeah, if you go to Apple.com, that's what it looks like. That's pretty cool. That's a cool. Shot. That's wild. And I wonder if that's like a play on words, by the way. It's just another day. Of course it is. It's just another day. Cute. Great. The Beatles. Woohoo! I mean, it's cool, but don't make people, like, everyone's guessing it's going to be these crazy things, and then we're like, oh, that was it? And if you're wondering, if you're like, I didn't even know the Beatles weren't available on iTunes. I didn't. Here's the thing.

48:41The Beatles used to be on Apple Records. And so there was a lawsuit for years between Apple and Apple. And the word on the street was, it'll never be resolved and you'll never get Beatles music on iTunes. Well, it's been resolved. How much did Ringo and Paul clear today with this bit? Oh, man. I don't know. The rich get richer, man. They're so worldwide. Even if it only seems like a big deal to one person on this show, you're talking about people like all over the world.

49:18Yeah, I can see, and that's the, well, the deal is, is that I think that everyone likes the Beatles. But there's a percentage of people that love the Beatles. Do you think that there's people right now doing cartwheels? Yeah, probably. There are people like, I've been waiting for so long! So I'm a little kid at Christmas. Yeah, like a little kid at Christmas. People downloading the whole, like, getting the whole album. The whole catalog. I wonder what they're charging for the entire catalog. Oh, man. I want to hear from that excited person. I like about 15 Beatles songs. I'm not going to lie to you. I love the Beatles. I like about 15 songs. So good for me. There's 15 bucks. The Beatles box set is $149. That's it? Yeah, $149. Great. I mean, I just, listen, I like them, but I ain't that happy about it. They shouldn't have made a big announcement about it. I know. Why don't they just say, you know. Hey, by the way. And by the way, we're doing it. Woo. They're up. Well, there it is. George W.

50:17Was on Fox and Friends yesterday, talked about a prank that his dad pulled on him that he says involved his testicles. Woo! I'm Mikey, that's Woodsy, that's L.O.B., that's Sienna, that's Jay, and our phone screeners, Will. That's Will. That's Will. Incorporator coming up at 7.30. Word of the day is gravy, so when you hear me say that, you could qualify for a trip to Laughlin, and you will win a Mikey Show t-shirt and a pair of sunglasses. Looking good. Okay. So, yeah, W went on Fox and Friends and said this. Take a listen. Early on in the book, you talk about how your dad, and I interpret it this way, pretty much terrorized some nurses at the Mayo Clinic. He's like a seven-year-old. That laugh was the best. He did. Trying to explain his sense of humor. I tell this truth. Always had to do with testicles. He loved balls. So he's lying in bed after an operation and a nurse walks in and he says, ma'am, are my testicles black? And you can imagine the nurse's reaction to former president asking that question. And she said, Mr. President. He said, no, no, are my testicles black? And so she reaches for the sheet and he said, are my test results back?

51:46Oh, that's funny. That's funny. It's hysterical. Such a dad myth. Yes. Oh, very cute. I wonder how long it took him to think of that, right? Oh, boy. I like his laugh. And I'm the creepy one. There's nothing that can ruin a good bit than that newsy lady coming on and going. Oh, that's wonderful. How long did it take him to think of that? It's just the whole joke just goes... That's how it plays out. Are my test results back? Yes. Oh, very cute. I wonder how long it took him to think of that, right? Nice try, Chica. That was funny, though. That is funny. It's hysterical. Totally something I would do. I did something like that to my sister once when she was little and I said, I'll give you a dollar if you do this for me. And so she did it and I gave her a doll hair. She cried. That's funny. A doll hair. I say doll hair all the time. I bet you five doll hairs. I made Ella B. laugh hysterically when Woodsy said to me one time,

53:05Go ahead. And I go, did you just call me a goat head? And it made LLB laugh. So hard. That was good. You want to play Win Mikey's Money? Yes. All right, let's play Win Mikey's Money. It's actually Win Mikey's Show's Money. It's all of our dough. I got six bucks. LLB, what you got on it? Probably nothing. In our wallets right now? Yeah, check your wallet. How much you got? Seven. Seven? That's how much? That's 13. What do you got? I got six on it. That's $19. I have a million four. You got the four right. That's all I have. What do you got? $4? $4. So what's that? That's $23? What do you got, Jay? I was hoping you were going to skip me. I got $9. Wow. My last $9. Wow. $32. All right. $32. I hate this game. $32. Call us right now. 570-1949. If you want to win, $32. It's when the Mikey shows money. Be good at trivia.

54:05No, have a bit. It's trivia. And you're going to play against me. And the way that it works is we will use our name as a buzzer. So as soon as you know, as soon as you know the answer, you say your name. Yep. 570-1949. It's pretty easy to win. If you get it wrong, you lose a point. Yep. And its winner is best out of five. Best out of five. I'm worried. I'm worried. Don't be worried. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. I'm going to give you guys the categories, too, Mike. We'll let the M1 pick first. Category. Sports, music, movies, TV, and grab bag. That's right. Grab bag. M1, Devin from Oceanside. Are you there? I'm here. All right, Devin. Are you ready to play When Mikey Shows Money? All right. We got $32, right, Woods? Yeah, we got $32. And, Devin, again, your categories are sports, music, movies, TV, and grab bag. Dork. I agree. What do you want? Let's go grab bag. Grab bag. Now, remember to use your name as a buzzer, Devin. You can interrupt at any time. Going against me. And as soon as you know the answer, yell out your name. Here we go. If it's noon in Boston, what time is it in New York? Mikey.

55:26Mikey. Noon. Correct. One for Mikey. Nice. Okay, Mikey. Pick a category. Sports, music, movies, TV, or grab bag. Music. Music. Which band included Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel? Mikey. Mikey. Genesis. Oh, boy. Somebody's hot today. Now you know how I feel, Devin. Not easy. Devin, just chime on in there when you're ready. Alrighty. Mikey. Pick your category. Give it to me again. Sports, music, movies, TV, and grab bag. Stop saying it like that. I'll take grab bag. In 1993, Michael Jordan gave up basketball for which sport? Devin. Correct. She's in it. She's in it. You're in it. Two to one, Mikey. Devin, sports, music, movies, TV, or grab bag.

56:27Grab bag. Grab bag, again, very popular. Grab bag. It's because you say it like that. What is the postal abbreviation for Nevada? Mike. Devin. Mikey. Envy. Yes, for the win. Yeah. For the win. We get to keep our money. Yes, you keep your money. We keep our dough. Sorry about that, Devin. That's all right. Hey, listen, you did your best. Congratulations, us. Good job, pal. My heart's pounding. Six bucks to me. I get to buy lunch today. Yep. There you go. 570-1949 is our number. I was petrified of the game because I knew I was going to stink at it. I don't really know a lot of trivia. I can't watch Jeopardy because I don't know one question on Jeopardy.

57:22I'll watch the whole show and not know one. I find that hard to believe. I know. Me too. I can watch one entire episode of Jeopardy, not know one thing. BS. Not one. I'll call BS on that. I'm telling you, I don't. We can watch one. You're a smart guy. I know, but I didn't go to college. I think a lot of that's college knowledge. No, it's like second grade. A lot of that history stuff is stuff you learned so long ago. Well, then I'm really not smart. No, a lot of us just don't keep that info. Yeah. Check it out. Email. Mikey Show. Need a little help in dealing with my stubborn brother. I'm getting married this April. My fiance and I have dated for over five years and my brother always really liked him. But sometime while we were dating last year, we took a break. We didn't talk for about six months and I swear my brother took it harder than me. Then, as soon as I started talking to my ex again, my brother told me that he didn't approve and he wasn't going to be cool with him ever again. We've now been engaged for nine months. My brother still refuses to talk to my fiance. He's even seen him a few times at my family events. I'm not looking forward to the holidays. And more importantly, I'm dreading my wedding day. How can I get through to my brother and have him just be happy for me? That's M1 Yoga Queen. Well, Yoga Queen, I'm going to take a guess that your brother is young. Because that to me sounds like...

58:45a question of maturity. If we're talking about a 35-year-old guy, he's probably going to be able to get over it. I think he sounds overprotective. And I'm kind of like the brother when it comes to my siblings, too. I'm very overprotective of all of them. It also depends what the guy did. Or if the guy did anything. To take the break? Yeah, for them to take the break. What happened? And that information isn't here. I don't know what he did. And if you're listening, Yoga Queen, call us. He's so mad. you would think that something had to have happened. Because to not talk to somebody, just say, hey, Joe and I broke up. Well, I'm never talking to him again. He broke up with my sister. I mean, that's kind of ridiculous. Something happened. And what I will also assume is that the guy broke up with her. Because I can't see a brother saying, I can't see a sister breaking up with a boyfriend and the brother going, I'm not talking to this guy again. You broke up with him. Unless she broke up with him because he was having sex with her best friend. That's different. That's wrong. That would be a big omission if she didn't put that in there. Yeah. But I mean, first of all, it seems very serious that you guys are not going to talk to the guy again. But second of all, that does seem like a question of maturity to me because to me, an older guy doesn't do that. An older guy is like, teach their own, whatever. It's your life.

1:00:09I mean, she either, in my opinion, either had to have been beaten up by this guy. Oh, wow. That's a way different story. Well, yeah, you're never talking to the guy again. Maybe you're never talking to the guy if he did that. More than likely. More than likely. Or he cheated on her, right? That might be a deal breaker for a brother. What are deal breakers for brothers? My guess is that, I mean... If she left stuff out, you would think she would give those big things like, well, the thing is that he cheated on me. The thing is that he beat me. You know, you think that she would put that in there. I don't think she would say that. You don't think? What's a deal breaker for a brother? Abuse. Abuse? Yeah, and cheating would probably be a big one. Cheating would be big. Outside of that, is there anything? Just breaking your heart. It could be just, you know, the fact that he wasn't making the moves, you know, to get married and all that kind of stuff. The brother just thought that he was wasting the sister's time. Yeah, that was my bit with L.O.B. That was my older brother. And, I mean, it did say that the brother and the boyfriend were good friends in the beginning, right? They were close.

1:01:13Did you say that? Yeah, something like she liked him. So I'm sure, I mean, partially he felt burned, too, because he probably just bailed the boyfriend for a while when they split. Yeah. I don't know. So what should she do? 570-1949. Let's ask M1s. 570-1949. What should she do? And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. I think that the fiancé needs to win over the brother, and I think he should try and do something special. Well, you know, it's Yoga Queen and her husband. They're going to be the ones that have a life together. And in an ideal world, hey, everybody's on board and everybody loves everybody. It's not always the case. And, you know, I mean, it sucks. And you know what's sad about it, too, is that I know people that have been married for years and years and years, and it took forever for the... parents to get on board. Well, it seems kind of gimmicky if the fiancé does something to win people over. Like, hey, look at me. Watch my tap dancing so that you'll like me. I think it needs to be like a heart-to-heart. Well, that's what I mean. He needs to approach him and make it known. Like, look, I messed up if he did mess up. And, you know, make it right. M1 Francis is calling in from Oceanside. Francis, what do you think? Well, I was thinking about a deal breaker for brother, guys.

1:02:33And what if the guy doesn't have a lot of money, like you guys only had $34? Actually, $32. $32. Or was it $32? Yeah. For a bunch of DJs, that's not a lot. That's not a lot. Actually, it is. Anyway, that's, you know, what if the brother didn't have steady employment or just had a minimum wage job at a fast food restaurant or something? Isn't that pretty hardcore, though, Francis, for a brother to say, hey, listen, I will not talk to this guy again because he doesn't make a good living. Yeah, he can't help it. That's pretty hardcore. Well, yeah, it might be hard, but you just got through talking about the Prince of Wales, and he's going to be marrying a... a gal and having a wedding in June, you know, or what was it, in the spring. Yep, spring or summer of 2011. You know, the brother might want somebody that's going to take care of his sister. Okay. I mean, that could be one. Thank you. Yeah, you know, speaking of the royals, wasn't the queen not happy with Princess Diana as the selection for Prince Charles? How do I know that? That was kind of unprecedented. Yeah, it was unprecedented.

1:03:40Maybe he just doesn't like the fiance as a person and thinks that they're a bad match. He's not approving of, not necessarily the guy, but of them being together. It's a weird brother. But it seemed like he was on board at first. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm in a situation where Matt and I got back together. Oh, wow. That is as official as it's been. You have not said out loud. Even to us off the air, by the way. Even to us off the air, she has not said. I was just about to caveat it. We're kind of together. I was just about to say, he is still winning me over, but...

1:04:27He's going to have to go through. Winning you over? Yeah. You just said you're back together. Well, we're dating. But he's still winning me over. Granted, I call him babe. Yes, yes. I thought I heard something about a sleepover the other night. Maybe a sleepover. But he's winning me over. Well, I think that's kind of how this song came up. But I don't know. You judge yourself. You tell me. Great. A million bucks says she was drinking and didn't know what she was thinking. I think she missed her BFM scene. She shouldn't take so many roofies. Sounds like she was feeling frisky. There's no way she could foresee that if she's in love and Matt's in love, then she'd fall in love, maybe married love. Not to rub some salt on an open wound, but to think that Matt ought to marry you. Six feet tall, playing his guitar, hearing wedding bells in his head. Holy cow! Only girl that he adores. Only girl that he can't let go. Texted in some stuff right before she went to bed. Can't remember what she said anymore. Remember what she said? I don't think so. Six feet in his guitar, hearing wedding bells in his head.

1:05:55Just so you know, Mike and Wood's fist bumps during that. Absolutely. How did this turn into a roast on me? He's still winning you over, you know? My point was going to be that my dad found out about BFMC because I hadn't even told him because I'm like, look, I'm still. You hadn't told your dad about your boyfriend, Matt Commerce? We are getting, we are still. In a rebuilding phase. You couldn't even say it with a straight face. You're laughing. You're saying it and you're laughing as you say it. We're in a rebuilding phase. Yeah. Meaning you're completely in love and back together. Back together and holding hands. We are, but we're not. Yeah. We are, right? Yeah. We're not leaving off. We're not stepping into where we left. I thought you said spider. I thought you said. I thought you said, I don't want to drink spider. We're not back to where we left off. We're back into this like dating, courting phase. You guys are back together. You're back together. We are. We are. We're not, though. We're not, though. The only thing you're not that you were is living together. That's true. And that's probably because you guys have leases that you can't break. Exactly. I'm never going down that road again. Ladies, gentlemen, any of you unmarried people, don't do it. What did your mom tell you? Was she right?

1:07:19What is that? Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free? If you get the organic almond milk for free. I feel like Matt's getting a little milk for free. My mom said that to me too when we lived together. My dad, I guess, went to listen to the podcast of Other Mother because my mom was like... telling my entire hometown how she was on the radio. So my dad's like, where do I find this? And he went on MikeyShow.com and listened to the podcast. And I think on the same day it said like, oh, BFMC picks up Lauren from the airport or something like that. And he's like, what's this? And then he's like, I love you. Do you love me? My dad was furious. He's like, why am I the last to know anything? Yeah. I didn't know you guys were back together. Was he like... Use your head, Lauren. This guy broke your heart. Okay, my dad likes to talk through my mom to get to me. So apparently he believes in second chances. And he always liked Matt. But he said he's going to have to prove to me that he's good enough for my daughter. And therefore he's good enough for me. Huge. Now what does that mean? I don't know. My point was going to be, then I said to my mom, well...

1:08:27What's most important is that he's good enough for me and I make that decision. And you guys will all, I want you guys to all like whoever I end up with, but it's most important to the person, to the two people that are in that relationship. Yeah, I don't think your dad wants Matt to do something for him. I think he wants to do something over the top for you so that your dad sees. More importantly than your parents liking him, Ella B., is your work family. Yeah, your work family. That's the most important thing. And I like him. I'm on board. I like him too. Where's your endorsement, Miguel? He's still winning back Mikey and Lauren. No, I mean, hey, listen. I think he... I think that BFMC is fantastic. I'm just waiting for him to get down on one knee. And I'm not. All right. Well, I am. And I deserve it. It's Mike Esparza, and I approve this message. You've earned it. Holy cow. Let me just tell you.

1:09:33When it comes to YouTube, viral videos, all that kind of stuff, it's hard to impress me. I mean that. When I see stuff now, I'm like, eh, whatever. This thing we're going to play for you is audio. It's impressive. It's impressive. Viral. As a matter of fact, the other day we were looking up at the TV and we saw the Today Show and we're like, what are they doing? They were doing this weird thing. They were actually doing a parody of this viral video. But it's not something you really necessarily have to see. You just have to hear it. And when I tell you this is impressive, it's freaking impressive. And I'm going to give you a hint. This guy does everything you're going to hear with his voice. By the way, the Incorporator is next. So if you would like to give a word to the Incorporator, call us right now, 570-1949. Woods is calling as our program director, Garrett. Garrett! And he's calling a yoga studio. Next. Okay, so I'm going to be playing you this viral video. Incredible. We're going to be doing the Incorporator here in just a second. And before we do that, Sienna, what do we got going on in news? Well, we all heard about the awful accident.

1:12:19involving the motorcycle club over the weekend in Imperial Valley. Right. Well, it was just announced that the driver in the car in the accident, they were thinking maybe he was under the influence of alcohol. He was not. He tested negative on the breathalyzer, and so it's now out that there's no drunk driving charges filed against him. He's just a victim in the accident as well. He lost his girlfriend who was in the car. Very sad. So some good news for him. Yeah. You know, he's going through a lot right now. Yeah. that illegal immigrants can pay in-state tuition in the state of California. What is that? Yes. How? What? How? Well, they reversed. It was a unanimous decision yesterday by the Supreme Court, and they reversed a ruling by the State Court of Appeals that said that the illegal immigrants should have to pay more. But I guess they ruled against it, and they're saying that it should be treated as non-residents when it comes to how much they pay for schools. It's incredible. Oh, boy. It's crazy. You ever open a can of worms real good? You have a lot of, you know, it's very split right now. But they're also saying that if you attended high school in California for three years, that you qualify for it as well. Yeah. So, I mean, it's crazy. Before we get to sports, real quickly, M1 Murmur from San Diego. What was the word of the day? It's gravy. Actually, that's incorrect. It was just gravy. So we apologize. Here's what was incredible about you getting that. We did it during our commercial stop set.

1:13:51Which tells you it can happen any time. I can say that word at any time. You've got to be listening for it. Dude, you just qualified for a $500 value trip to Laughlin to stay at the Aquarius Casino Resort with a $50 gift card. And you also, what you did win was a Mikey Show t-shirt and a pair of sunglasses from Anarchy. Congratulations. There you go, dude. Congrats. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Interesting, man. The Major League Baseball Rookie of the Year was announced yesterday for the National League and the American League. And interestingly enough, or funnily enough, they both played in the World Series and both were huge contributors. San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey and Texas Rangers closer Naftali Feliz were the rookies of the year, respectively. So Feliz, 40 saves. for the Rangers, which is just ridiculous. I remember calling into a local talk show when I lived there when they were asking, should they make him a starter or a closer? I said they need to make him a closer, period. And they're like, you're an idiot. And look at him now. He's a closer. So there you go. Feast on that. And then the Padres made an interesting trade, and I don't know that I'm really on board with it, man. They traded for Cameron Maven from the Florida Marlins. He's an outfielder. Batted .234 with eight homers, 28 RBIs. But they traded Edward Mejica and...

1:15:09Who else did they trade? Oh, Ryan Webb, who's two really good arms out of the bullpen. So pitching's at a premium. Centerfielders that hit .234 aren't. Not a fan right now. Maybe they saw something in them. Could be. So what I'm about to play for you is a viral video right now on YouTube. The guy that you hear is singing, but every instrument that you hear is being made with his mouth. Now, when I say that, he recorded each individual instrument on a separate track. And you see him in what looks like a Brady Bunch puzzle. And in each one, he's got a piece of paper in front of him that tells you what instrument he's doing. So one will say hi-hat. One will say synthesizer. One will say guitar. Take a listen to this. That's incredible. That's all his voice. He individually recorded his voice doing a piano, a piano harmony, a bass, a cymbal, a hi-hat. It looks like the Brady Bunch, you know, when it has all the different images of everything he's doing. You see him doing it. So he's going...

1:17:05There is no music, by the way. There is no music being used. It's all his voice. Wow. That's amazing. Wow. That's a talented person. We should try it. We should try it. We should try it. Well, they tried it on the Today Show, which I'm like, oh boy. Oh boy with the Today Show. Listen, no offense to the Today Show. My mom and dad are in their 60s and 70s, so they love when Matt and Meredith do stuff like this. And they'll ask me, did you see what Matt and Meredith did the other day? So here's them doing it. This should be great. Come on. I'm going to vomit. Is that a YouTube commercial? No, it just takes forever, man. It's going to take five more seconds, so I have to entertain you for five seconds. If you can't do that, you're a loser. Shut up.

1:18:38Oh, there you go, stupid. There's a commercial. You ever hear of show prep? Yeah, Hoyle, I have heard of show prep. Yeah, maybe you try it out sometime. Howard Stern used to show prep when you discovered him. Ridehold, did you teach him how? The first time I discovered him in Roosevelt, New York, I told him show prep's the key, man. Unlike our Mexican friend over here. Whoa, easy. Sometimes you can't plan ahead for the commercials, Hoyle. They just pop up. They just come up. You don't know. Can't you? Sometimes they're there, sometimes they're not. Here's the Today Show doing it. Oh, wow. Watching Al Roker do a cymbal is disturbing. Watching him do much of anything is disturbing. That's Meredith Vieira. Why, why, why? My mom and dad were probably just in... Dying. Yes. It's the greatest thing they've ever seen. Heather Glow Sticks out. Yeah. That's, well, yeah. Is it a real song? Yeah. It's a real song. Oh, okay. Tao. I didn't know that. Tao Cruz. Really, Matt? I throw my hands up in the air. Do you think. I like it. Do you think. I do. That the producers of the Today Show were like, so Matt, here's our idea, you know? And it's like, everybody's in. Matt's like, really? That's what I'm going to do? Yeah. Got to do this now.

1:20:17I went to journalism school at Columbia. I met freaking Lauer, by the way. I just interviewed President Bush about 9-11. I'm going into a studio to go, what's my part? I want to dance, dance, dance, dance. I'm wearing all my favorite brands. Brands, brands, brands. You got it, you got it. I'm a 57-year-old man. Here was his reaction. Ask me. Matt, we... We have an idea. You know, there's a viral video out there right now that's probably the biggest thing in America. We'd like to redo the video with you, Meredith, Katie, and Al. I know. I know. Right now. Hang on, Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt. What? I'm not doing this. I'm not doing it. Before you say no. I'm Matt Lauer. I know you are. And you're one of the best. You're seasoned. You're killing me. You're freaking killing me. But listen, you're going to gain fans with this. You realize that. Am I? You are. Am I? Well, you're going to appeal to a whole new younger audience. 70-year-old women. Younger. Latino women in San Diego. Okay. Yes, you will be number. But that's the area right now where we'd like to see some improvement. Okay, I guess. I make $70 million a day. I guess I can take one for the team.

1:21:38I think we should do it. I think we should. Get a little hi-hat, Mikey. Get some hi-hats. Let's do it. LLB on the bass. Sienna on the... On the... Oh, my God. I don't know. You didn't say to do that. I put my hands up in the air sometimes. I put my... It's just the only part I know, you guys. I roll my hands up in the air sometimes. Yours was perfect. You sound like Latino music. We have to break it down, maybe. Yeah. I like it. I'll sing. You guys play the instruments. Yeah, you rap. Yeah. I can rap. I thought you can. All right, you guys ready? Let's do it. The Incorporator. If you want to all step out, you can read the words to everyone, and then you can wave me back in. Yes. And we're going to be doing Ask the Guys next. The Incorporator is the game that we play where we will call someplace not in San Diego.

1:23:10We have you, the M1s, call us and give us words for Woods to try to incorporate into the conversation. Now, Woods is good at this. He used to do it with his friends at work before he got this job. Clowns. Yeah, just a couple clowns sitting around having fun. So let me read the words to you. Woods does not know what these words are, although I will give him the first one. The words are M1 Jeff called and said Jedi. M1 Sean gave us ShamWow. M1 Bryn gave us Porcelain Doll. M1 Messenger gave us Velocity. M1 Ink Blast gave us Yamaha. M1 Den gave us Glitter. M1 Chemistry gave us Permeate. And M1 Jason gave us Spinach. Okay? So we're going to be calling a yoga place, and Woods is going to pretend to be our program director, Garrett. Garrett. Come on in. I'm waving him in. Detroit. Garrett. He always gets the first word. First word is? Jedi. Done. First word is Jedi. Okay, let's try this. I will feed Woods the words, and the only person they can hear is Woods, not me.

1:25:10How are yoga? This is Kim. Good morning, Kim. My name's Garrett. I wanted to reach out. I'm really thinking about getting into yoga. You know, my ultimate goal is to become a Jedi, but, you know, I think yoga is the best place to start. Well, great. You called the right place. Okay, great. Tell me a little bit about some of the things you guys offer. You know, do you do the Bikram yoga, the hot yoga Philly? Absolutely. You do? Yes. In fact, we make the room 95 degrees. We dim the lights. This is to help your focus. Okay. Probably need to bring my ShamWow in there to clean off all the sweat. Detroit. Porcelain doll. Okay. Yeah, I bet people are in there sweating like pigs, huh? Well, it is a really great workout, and yeah, you do really cleanse yourself. I mean, that's kind of what it's about. I mean, as you're working out and conditioning. all levels of yourself. Sure. Mind, body, and soul, huh? Yep. Yeah, I'll be clean as a porcelain doll when I'm done. Seattle. Velocity. Okay, what type of speed do you guys work at? Is it a high velocity? Is it a low velocity? Philly. Well, we actually have all different types of classes, all levels. I mean, so if you were just getting started, you'd probably take our basics class. Okay. And who knows, you may work yourself up.

1:26:32Okay. Now, do you have a parking lot there? I drive a Yamaha 456. Got it from a buddy, Scott Shannon. It's a motorcycle. Need to park it right out front. Glitter. Yeah, we absolutely do. I mean, room probably for at least 50 cars out there. Okay, is there a lot of ladies in the class? Because I'll tell you why. I don't want to be rolling around on the mat, get glitter all over my face, you know, come home and the wife asks me where the hell you been, Garrett. Class, we do have both men and women in the class. Now, I've heard a rumor. I've heard a nasty rumor about yoga that sometimes there might be a, hmm, fart in the dojo or the class or whatever the hell you call it. Now, does the smell permeate the air? Well, I mean that. Spinach. Sometimes when your body's moving around, things do happen, but we just try to stay focused. That's fine, Philly. What I'll do, all right, I'm going to have lunch, probably going to have a spinach salad, keep it clean and fresh, and I'll be in there. I'd like to take a look around at your dojo, and I'll talk to you guys later. Well, we look forward to having you. Great. Thank you for calling. Okay, Philly.

1:27:47Double incorporated. I had to make up. Bro, I'm telling you, that is my favorite one. That is my favorite one by about a million. Holy cow, dude. It was all I could do. I got my yum off my buddy Scott. It was all I could do to not bust out laughing. He was dying so they could be laughing. Holy crap. And where do you go? I don't want to get home. My wife says, where the hell you been, Garrett? I really hope our program director Garrett was listening. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Garrett. Detroit. I did the double incorporated today. I had to do it. You throwing those words. Philly. Seattle. I feel so bad. She was very nice. I want to podcast that and listen to it forever. I'll get right on top of that. That. And you'll get the podcast done. Oh, yeah. Okay, so the guy that is from Oceanside that went through Lindbergh Field the other day.

1:28:58He didn't want to go through the scanner, and he got in a lot of trouble because he said to the TSA agent, don't touch my junk, right? He got in a lot of trouble for it. Well, he's now done an interview, and here's the deal, dude. He says why he did what he did, and the answer actually shocked me because it isn't what we originally heard. It isn't. Cool. It's crazy. It's coming up next. I love when it's done. How long is my hair going to grow? That's my question. Just shave it, Sal. Don't call me a Sally. I'm fine. Isn't it nice not shaving your head every day? It looks awful. What? It's all sparse. I love you. You know I love you. It looks gorgeous. It looks terrible. It does not look that bad.

1:30:19The sides are really dark. The top is really sparse. It's not that sparse. It is, but you don't really notice. I notice. To me, Mike, you don't look that different to me. Yeah, I'm traditionally bald-headed, shaved bald head. I need you back. I need my guy back. I'm going to give this a shot, man. I'm going to see how it feels for a little while longer. The sides are really grown in, though. Yeah, those sides are coming in real good. What's the missus think? Yeah. She don't like it. Of course. Not yet. I told her. It's because I haven't been able to part it yet. But, you know, once I can do that and slip it back with some products. It'll be great. Get you a Brooklyn fade real good. Who does your PHC or perfect haircut? Kaylin. Just have her come in and cut it. And yours. Oh, I'm not going to shave mine if you don't grow yours out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have grown it out. Oh, that's why you're telling him to shave it? I have grown it out. No, it's got to be like long, like ponytail long. Really? It's got to be long. No. Imagine Mike with a ponytail. It's got to be like David Coverdale. Yeah, from Whitesnake. Perfect. On the phone with us right now, we have the producer of a really, really interesting show called Border Wars. Don't know if you've heard of Border Wars, but it's...

1:31:31pretty amazing show. Listen to this. ...of the people and things going out, coming in, and the ones who have to try to stop them. Now, the reason that this one is going to be so interesting is because this one's Murder on the Lake. We actually, Sienna reported on this story. It was the story of this guy that was, he was out just riding his jet ski and was killed by drug cartels that run that area. On the phone with us, we have Nick Stein, who is one of the producers of Border Wars, or the producer of Border Wars. Is that right, Nick? That's correct. Now, you kind of got to catch us up on this story a little bit because it's pretty fascinating. Now, if I remember correctly, when this first happened, this man's name is David, the guy that was killed, right? That's true. I do have to preface this by saying we only have a couple of minutes because I'm doing like 15 interviews this morning, so I'll give you the quick version. Tell me again how many minutes we got.

1:32:52We've got about three minutes. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it, too. All right. You ready? Yeah. All right. The Border Wars, as you know, has been up and down the border. We've been embedded like nobody else has ever been. Blackhawk helicopters, ATVs, horses, and all this good stuff. And we're in Laredo. We were on Falcon Lake about a month before this incident. And then this happened with the Hartleys on jet skis. Wrong place. Wrong time. Killed by golf. cartel, or no, I'm sorry, is killed by cartel members who are in control of this area. And it's a story which is just mind-blowing, because not only did they murder this man, but later when the Mexicans investigated it, they beheaded the head investigator. They murdered and beheaded the head investigator. So this has just caught international attention, and we just felt it was too big a story for border wars to ignore, so we went back and... Rather, hurry, we put together this amazing show, which is on tomorrow night, and people just have to see it. We go more in-depth into this story than anybody has. Now, is it true that his wife was actually a suspect? Well, it's true, but I think really, sadly, because they couldn't find the body and they couldn't find the jet ski and they were over where they shouldn't have been, people just suspected her of something. But now nobody suspects her of anything. Her story is horrendous.

1:34:15It's actually terribly sad that she would lose her husband and then have people not believe her story. And they do believe her story now, and it'll blow your mind, the interviews that we got with her and these experts who know about the cartels. This is really just an incredible story, which Border Wars is telling, I think, like nobody else has been able to. Now, I know we've got to let you go, but the one question that I think I have for you is I'm picturing people that are out riding their jet skis in the water. And I heard you say that they were at the wrong place. I get that. But if you're a drug cartel, don't you want to stay as inconspicuous as possible? Why would you murder somebody in cold blood if you don't have to? Well, that's a good question. And the truth is, I think that the cartels and the cartel in question have lost a lot of members through violence and have killed and they've started recruiting a lot of thugs. They've recruited a lot of people up from Central America. They've got some low-level folks working for them. And those killers have – the theory is pretty well regarded theory that those killers are dead and their own leaders killed them and a rough justice. But when the Mexican government wanted to investigate, of course, they killed that investigator too. So, no, these cartels don't want this kind of attention. They don't want this kind of pressure.

1:35:36And they avoided, but they had a trigger-happy guy who didn't know what he was doing. So the guy that did it, or whoever did it, was just somebody that was doing it for kicks? No, I think he just, he really thought these were spies from the rival. Okay, got it, got it. But he just shouldn't have done it, and I'm sure he's probably six feet under right now. Got it, okay. National Geographic tomorrow, right? Yep. And it's going to air at... Nine o'clock. Nine o'clock Eastern and Pacific on the National Geographic Channel. That's right. Hey, thank you. You know, we've been in San Diego, too. So, you know, there's a lot of borders. We've covered a lot of border. Awesome. Hey, thank you. I appreciate it, Nick. You got it. All right. We'll see you. That's Nick Stein. Those shows are great. That sounds fascinating, man. Hey, listen, if you are a woman right now, we're going to do this thing. We've done this before. We've only done it once, but it went really good. So we want to try it again. It's called Ask the Guys. Now you're going to be asking me, Woods, and Jay a question. We open it up to women. They can call us and ask us anything they want. And what you have to remember is we're going to give you the honest truth. So whereas you may ask your boyfriend or your husband something and you go, is he just being nice? Or maybe it's a situation where you just don't understand men. You don't understand how we think and you want to know why. But you know that if you ask the guy that you're with,

1:37:00he's probably not going to give you the real skinny. He's probably going to tell you what you want to hear. He's probably going to try to sugarcoat it. So you're asking three guys what the real deal is. And a lot of these questions, ladies, may start like this. What does it mean when a guy dot, dot, dot? Okay? Could start that way. Could be how your question goes. It could be, so my boyfriend did dot, dot, dot. Should I be concerned? Or it could be, you know, when men say that they don't care about how much I weigh or if I gain weight. If a man says that he doesn't care if I gain weight, you know, is that by and large, is that a true statement? You can ask us anything. 570-1949. You'll get three different guys' opinions. Now, Jay's 47, Woods is 35, and I'm 40. And so you'll get a pretty good range of opinions here in terms of asking a guy. But we open it up to ladies only, 570-1949, if you want to ask a question. M1 Nina is on the line from Oceanside. How you doing? Good.

1:38:27Why is it okay for a guy to sleep with a girl on a first date but then he's not considered a whore but she is? Woods? Oh, me. I'll go. You go. Okay. The reason is because we don't make the rules. We just live by them. And our culture has dictated that if a guy has sex with many women that he is a stud. And that if a girl has sex with many men That she is a hooah. Now, what I want to suggest to you, and my opinion may be different than the other guys, what I want to suggest to you is that both are lies. Both of those are lies. My belief is that you don't sleep with anybody. You get married and you have crazy, awesome, wild monkey sex with the person that you marry. And that's the way that it was intended and that it actually works out pretty good if you do it that way. But you don't have to worry about the stigma of being a Hua if you do that. Woodsy, what do you think? I think that, you know, I think it's an unfair stereotype and I've never, I don't, I will, I'm not going to say I've never subscribed to that theory, but I have actually dated girls that I slept with on the first date for a long time after that.

1:39:54I mean, it just depends, man. It depends on the chemistry that you have of that person. I think I'm not a judger. Yeah. I like it. They do that, but then if I pitch in my two cents, they're like, oh, Nina, you shouldn't have done that. Don't you guys think, though, it's... It's a lot easier for girls to have sex. So that's why men think like that? Because it's so easy for us? It's hard for us, man. We gotta close. So when you guys do the hard work and you accomplish it, you're like, yes! And for us, it's like, we don't really need to do anything. I think that means that both of you are just... easy and fooling around and whoring around, but I don't think it's going to be a long relationship. It could be. For me, it never was. If a girl was that quick and easy, it would mean that I was in and out the door. It means I was in on her. I've seen it go both ways. I don't like to work for my supper, okay? Thank you, Hina. Woods, that is so fascinating. I understand that you like the easy clothes, but...

1:41:01Jay is like, if a chick gave it up the first date, she's a whore. No. You're like, no, she's really the kind of girl I want to take home to mom. Bro, I'm not saying, I'm not saying, and you know. Yeah, what are you saying? I'm not saying that they're, I'm not going to call a woman a whore for sleeping with me. I slept with her. No, no, no. And I'm not suggesting, yeah, I'm not suggesting. Okay, I'll explain. I'm not suggesting that you call her a whore. I'm not suggesting that she is a whore. What I am suggesting is that I heard you say that that's the way you like it. I mean, it's not the way I would prefer it, but it has happened a few times, and I ended up dating that person. Now, you know, in the instances where I dated that person for like a long time, it was rad. I mean, there was a chemistry that was there, and I was like, dude, this is great. I want to have that again tomorrow and in the morning. I think I get the chemistry part of it. Well, right. Yeah. Captain Morgan. What I was saying was that if I was in it for like a one-time hit it and quit it, then I'm out the door. It's not a long-term relationship. Where I wanted to work at it where it was like, oh, look, they're not giving up. Yeah, but haven't you ever been in a situation, Jay, where you're out and you're not looking for a long-term relationship, but you hit it off that night and then you realize this person is really cool. She's pretty awesome. On top of that. It didn't work out that way for me. I never liked the carrot dangled bit. I never liked it.

1:42:19Well, Woods. I never don't dangle the carrot in front of me. I like a lady. I'll dangle the carrot in front of you real sweet. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Double entendre. Wow. You know, I bet that when she slept with you on the first date, I bet you were the only guy that she's ever done that with. It doesn't bother me, man. I don't care about people's pasts. Why would it? I don't judge people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except Mike Vick. That's it. You really? Yeah. He's the only one. It doesn't bother you that maybe that's happened. 18 times before. Not one bit, bro. Maybe 18 times a night. I swear it doesn't bother me. I don't care about my woman's past. I really don't. Good for you. You know what? Once she's in on the kid, she's in on the kid. That brings up another point, though, Mike. I care. I do not. I care. And I think that a woman should care about what my deal is, too. She should care. No. She should say, hey, where you been? It should never be discussed. Where have you been? What's that thing been up to? The discussion is, are you clean? That's the discussion. Because, hey, bro, there's been women out there that have slept with one guy, got an STD. There have been women out there that have slept with one guy, got pregnant. So, I mean, history means nothing in my book. Nothing. Yeah, but do you say to them, you know, right before you're about to, you know, do the deed, hey, listen, can I see some paperwork here? No, no. I mean, you just cross your fingers and hope for the best. Wrap that rascal. Is that what you do? Wrap that rascal. Roll those dice, pal. M1 Sandy from San Diego, are you there?

1:43:43Yes, I'm here. What is your question? Hi. I love you guys. Oh, thank you. I actually just got out of a relationship, not by choice, but my boyfriend who I was with more than a year, and absolutely I loved him, and I thought we were headed in the right direction, but he broke up with me, and really the reason was that he decided after more than a year and a few months that he wasn't willing to be in an exclusive committed relationship anymore. The problem is the way the relationship broke up, it got a little ugly. And basically, he kind of told me that it was wrong for me to think that I was the only woman in his life that could bring him happiness. But yet he wants to maintain a friendship. And I've been battling this out. So I'm wondering, what are your thoughts on maintaining a friendship after the relationship is over? I think it's a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. And here is why I think it's terrible. He is an emotional vampire, which means that he wants to feed on you because he knows that you like him and that you have feelings for him. And so he will come to you like a vampire and suck that blood right out of you as long as you're willing to give it. Even if the so-called, and I'm using finger quotes, friendship is exactly that. You guys aren't having any sex. You're not kissing. You're not doing any of that.

1:45:07and you can even tell me listen when we're together we act like friends like there's no like you know romance there's a fine you can tell me that all day but what every guy knows is when a girl likes him. Even when you're acting like buddies and all you're doing is taking a trip to the mall and you're going shopping together. You're in that car. You're talking. You're having a conversation. He feels it. He feeds off of it. He likes it. It feels good to him. And so he will keep that relationship with you. And women do it too. They will keep that relationship with you as long as you allow it. But the other reason, okay, so that's one reason that I don't think that it's a good idea. The other reason I don't think it's a good idea is because eventually that guy's going to find another sweetheart. And when he does, he's going to drop you and he won't need you as his, he won't need to feed off you anymore. And that's going to devastate you and hurt you. And if you think that isn't true and you're going to be the different one, it's not true.

1:46:14You won't be different. It happens to all of us. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. I think it's a bad idea as well. I mean, I've been the vampire before. Yeah. You know, keeping them at an arm's length for when I needed them. Labeling them as a JIC. Yeah, just in case. You want that person on the couch that you can watch a movie with. Absolutely. And the person at the bar that you can hook up with. Absolutely. And it just, you know, sometimes it works out. Most of the time it doesn't. See, I don't have a problem with it at all. I think that you just have to get your own space and go do your own thing. And then if you guys happen to bump into each other in the crowds. But, I mean, I wouldn't be trying to hang out with him on weekends or that because all that's going to happen is you're going to both get drunk. You can be friendly with someone without being friends. Correct. Correct. Thank you for the call, Sandy. This is kind of similar. M1E from Chula Vista. Yes. Go ahead. What's your question? Yeah, kind of a similar question to Sandy. My husband is, you know, we've been together for five years. He decides to keep in touch with an old female friend, you know, sends emails and sends text messages. And that's not right. It's, you know, I want your take on it. Have you told him that you don't like it? Yes. Yeah. And what's his reasoning? He doesn't give me one. He just kind of...

1:47:40It blows it off, and I'm like, okay, listen, we've been together for 13 years, been married for five years. Give me a break. What's going on? Why every now and then do you have to keep in touch with this person? Okay, Eve, I'm going to give you some just simple stuff from observations I made immediately. It took him eight years to marry you. No, it took me eight years. It took you eight years to say yes? Okay, even then. Maybe that's why he's emailing his ex. Hey, listen. Either way, if it took you eight years to say yes, there was a reason that it took you eight years to say yes. And here you are, five years into it, and you're wondering, how come this guy keeps in contact with old girlfriends and stuff like that on the internet? Was it a girlfriend? Did they knock it out? I've never met her before. He says she's just a friend. And, you know, she lives up in L.A. and whatever. And I'm like, he actually asked me, hey, babe, is it okay if, you know, this person comes over, you know, to visit because she's going through a rough time. She broke up with her boyfriend and blah, blah, blah. And I said, no, it's not okay. See, I have no problem with guys being friends with girls. I have tons of friends with girls. You know what? I don't mind it in all honesty. But when he asked me to stop.

1:49:07Yeah, that's not fair. Listen, I feel like if you are a couple and you have a mutual friend of the opposite sex, it's okay because you're both friends, you're both hanging out, whatever. But I am never down with the, I have a girlfriend. You don't really know her, but she's my friend. And we communicate and blah, blah, blah. I don't like it. I think it's a bad idea. I think it shows, I don't think it's good wisdom. And I think that when you get into a fight, that's when you're vulnerable. You're playing with fire. You're playing with fire. I found some text messages because we're open about our phones. We don't hide our phones from each other. He text messaged her some issues that I was having last night. I've been ill and stuff. So one of the messages I saw from him was, oh, I can't right now because I'm dealing with Eve's issues. What the heck is that? That's nuts. Yeah, it's bad. That's bad. It's bad. It's bad, Eve. Hey, Eve, we got to move on, but I appreciate the phone call. M1 Kathleen from North Park. Are you there? Yes. Go ahead.

1:50:38Oh my god. Woods is smiling so big. Woods has a smile from one ear to the other ear. I'm not. That is so creepy. I'm deadpan. What's happening? Hot stuff. So he comes in and, you know, starts talking, doing his usual thing, gets a beer or whatever. Doesn't even notice anything. It's about 20 minutes and I had to basically point out to him. So do you notice anything? And he's like looking around the apartment. Is your boyfriend Ray Charles? Yeah. Is your boyfriend Clay Aiken? Adam Lambert, maybe? I don't notice anything. What? Did you change the drapes? So what did he say? Yeah, he did. Well, he did. Well, Kathleen, he did notice. Really? Yeah, he did.

1:51:58He did not. Yeah, he noticed. Yeah, he noticed. Here's the deal. I have a couple of thoughts. Before I say anything, you shouldn't live with each other. I got to tell you, that's my thing. You shouldn't live with each other. You guys know me. You shouldn't live with each other. I know your philosophy on that. You should wait until you get married and then live with each other. It's too late. You shouldn't. 85% and in divorce. Check your stats. That's all right. I did check him. Double checked him. Check your sack. What? So, I've said a million times. This is the greatest segment ever. I've said a million times that we are all grown up little kids. And I think that he was being like a little kid. Like he didn't know what to do. Like he probably saw it and he was like, he didn't know what to do. But a woman doesn't walk into a room wearing lingerie and a guy doesn't notice. That's not, that's just.

1:52:54impossible and garter belt so it made him uncomfortable it made him uncomfortable my guess this is my guess and that's what we're all doing we're all taking a guess here my guess is he was uncomfortable he's never it was out of the norm it wasn't the usual maybe he's the type of guy that likes things the way that he likes things and it was a little bit it was a little bit different for him and it freaked him out a little bit you know It was the first night that you guys have been living together. I'm sure he was nervous about that. His head could have been spinning anyway because moving in and he's thinking about a thousand things. Maybe just next time don't wear anything. No, he noticed. That's what I told him. Next time I'll be naked. That's what I'm saying. Don't top it for him. What did he say when you said that? That's a good idea. Maybe he goes to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center and gets his eyes checked. Maybe he's careful as he drives there and he calls AIS Insurance just in case he gets into an accident. On his AT&T Go phone. Yeah. On his AT&T Go phone. How long have you guys been dating? Four months. Oh, boy. Quick. Wow. That's a quick move-in. It's quick now. But, you know, I'm at the age, I'm 37.

1:54:15He's, you know, I think we're both the age where we know what we want. How old is he? Why didn't you say his age? Yeah, you didn't say his age. How old is he? He's a little younger. He's 21. Oh, my gosh. How old is he? He's 30. Oh, that's fine. What is that noise? That's a cougar. Cougar. Cougar, yeah. You go, girl. Get some. Get some. That's badass. Get some. Yeah. That's Jay's phrase. Get some. Get some. So where do you get the statistic from, though? I always wondered. Your marriage statistic. MikeSaidSo.com. MikeSaidSo.com? No, no, no. It was from an independent marriage research company. Independent. Yeah. Well, if it was, hey, listen, if it was from the rock church, would you buy it? You know what I mean? Independent, meaning Mike Esparza Incorporated. Listen, if it was from a church, you'd be like, duh. No, it was from an independent research company. Of people in Las Vegas? No. And what was it again? 85%. 85%, which I fall into, by the way. I fall into this category. So do I think all of us. All of us, probably. We all lived with our significant other. We all lived with our significant other. If you live with somebody in America,

1:55:34there is a 50% divorce rate, okay? If you live with somebody that you marry and you have lived with them for at least two years, okay, you have an 85% chance of getting a divorce within the first 10 years of marriage. That's a lot of number crunching. Yeah. Kim and I lived together for three years. You're okay then. This girl, they've only lived together for a little while, so if they just hurry up and tie the knot, she'll be fine. You'll be fine. Absolutely. Maybe you guys do it today. I've already been talking about that song. Four months. Four months is quick. I don't think I was even saying I love you. It's awesome. Thank you for the call. Speaking of I love you. Oh, boy. You love Taylor Swift. Woodsy. Woodsy puts it on his music every day. Every day. Don't you think 19's too young to be messed with? Stop quoting the song. Don't you think it is? You're a nerd. I do. Don't you think 19 is too young to be messed with? That girl in a dress cried the whole way home. Oh, wow. Poor thing. Woods in the dress. Woods admitted to all of us that he may imagine that she's singing this to him. I may have gotten in the shower this morning and maybe this was on when I was getting ready for work.

1:56:54Oh, my God. And maybe you were imagining that you were her boyfriend. In the shower, washing my hair. While your wife sleeps in the bed. Yes. Loving you. Loving me. I know. And I love her. But I don't know. But my heart belongs to Taylor Swift. Exactly. And her millions. Love you, babe. She's so boring. Is she? What's going on in news? Who's Sienna? Well, is there anything worse than going to the DMV? No. How about going to the DMV when their computers crash? Oh. That is what happened at the Claremont DMV yesterday. That sounds like a bad dream. I know. For hours.

1:58:25People waited in line all the way wrapped around the building outside. Why does that make it different from any other day? Well, I know, but even worse, for hours, imagine not even taking a step forward for hours, you know? Brutal. I bet that not one person complained, though. I bet there was not one curse word drum. I mean, and a lot of people, too. to have to take the day off of work to go to the DMV because they're not open on the weekends. Imagine that person that's sitting there like, this is it. That's the person that can't go home and say, I'm going to go another day. Yeah, they can't do it. They have to stay. Do you think that there was any hurt, sadness, or fear? No, I bet everyone was, they were probably understanding. Understanding and patient. Yes, kind, be different. The shutdown made it impossible for 40 branches to conduct most of their transaction, like license and registration renewals. I mean, I just, I couldn't imagine anything worse. Maybe they update the system out. Maybe let us do it online. There, there, there, that. In a fun story that's not going to make you want to scream, Scarlett Johansson has been named Babe of the Year by GQ Magazine. Well, of course she has. Get. Get. Get. Get. Crazy. Yeah, I'm out on her. Yes, Jay. Sorry. Yes.

1:59:39I like a handsome woman like Meryl Streep. No, no. You know, I like my women sturdy. Like Kathy Bates. That's a real woman. Megan Fox should have been the babe of the year. You know who I like? Cher. Yeah, Cher. That's a class act. Abe Lincoln's wife. Mary Todd. Beautiful. We get it. You're a history buff. Yeah, he is. Mary Todd. You didn't know that? No. I'm just going to drop a Mary Todd. You guys didn't know that? You're just going to drop a Mary Todd on there and I don't know it. They didn't teach you that in Cesar Chavez Elementary? No, they didn't teach me that in Cesar Chavez Elementary. Are you a Mexican? We're a Mexican. Whatever. Oh, shut up. Whatever. Girls named Mary Todd. Once no one knows who that is. Come on. Get out of here. Is Reid? Keep going. Leave. You got something going on in sports? Absolutely, I do. I was waiting for my cue. Hiroki Kuroda has re-signed with the L.A. Dodgers. A one-year deal worth 12.

2:00:55million dollars he's 35 years old and will make 12 million dollars next year exactly and the Pittsburgh Pirates have hired a new manager Clint Hurdle he was most recently the hitting coach for the Texas Rangers he's got his hands full in Pittsburgh probably the worst sports franchise ever 105 losses last year that's a lot of losses when you play 162 games Okay, so this guy, John Tyner, he's from Oceanside, made national headlines because he was getting on an airplane at Limburg Field and didn't want to go through the little scanner. The new scanners, the full body scanners. I don't like authority. You got escorted out. I don't like cancer. Well, here's the thing. I don't like pat-downs. Here's what we heard. We had heard that he didn't want to go through the thing because he was afraid of cancer and how dangerous they were. But listen to what he says was the reason. Basically that I didn't want anybody looking at my naked body. Amen, brother. Nothing wrong with that.

2:02:11Have you guys seen the pictures that they see of your body? You can see nipples. You can see nipples. They're just nipples. Peace and huevos. I mean, you can see it all. Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm not kidding you. I went through it. And they were giggling. They were not giggling. I was with you. Ask my wife. You really did go through it? I had to. And I said to Rebecca when she came out, I go, babe. I go, look. I go, they're laughing. And she goes, they're laughing at something else. I go, they're laughing at my telewagger. I just went through that thing. They're laughing at my telewagger. I guarantee you they were. Did you just say telewagger? Did I just say telewagger? He said telewagger, whatever that is. That's what my mom used to call it. So then they asked him, well, why did you, you know, why did you do it? Why did you say that? I said it kind of in jest. I was trying to keep the whole encounter lighthearted. I didn't want it to escalate. That's why I taped it. There's no joking around at the airport. That's why I taped it. I want to keep it lighthearted and fun. That's why I recorded it, taped it, sent it to every news institution in the country with a link to my blog. That's why I wanted to keep it lighthearted. If you haven't heard it, what happened at the airport? He taped it. Let's see if we have it.

2:03:22It'll just take an hour to load. He had his cell phone, the video camera turned on in his cell phone, and he put it through the x-ray machine with all of his bags. So you can't see anything, but you can hear all the audio. So we're going to be doing a groin shake. That means I'm going to place my hand on your hip, the other hand on your inner thigh, slowly go up and slide down. Okay. Two times in the front and two times in the back. We can do that out here, but if you touch my junk, I'm going to have you arrested. We're going to have a supervisor here because of your statement. They had a call over a supervisor because he was messing around like that. That's my job that you're grabbing there, mister. Don't you even touch this one. That ain't a hand grenade missile or scud. Oh my God. I do not swing that way.

2:05:00Junk. That's my junk. Well, because of that, he could be slapped with a civil penalty of up to $11,000 for violating federal law. No, that doesn't happen to him. That's stupid. $11,000. Stupid, stupid. I would just agree to the pat down. In fact, the next time, I'm not going to do the body scan. I can't believe. I can't believe. I'm flabbergasted right now that you would rather have somebody pat you down than look at an X-ray image of your piece. Woods, a pat down, all they do is they stick their hand in your inner thigh to see if you have a gun. You usually have to pay for that. Yeah, I don't have a problem with either of them, but I can't believe you wouldn't just go through the machine. I'm not a handsome, you know, guy with a svelte body. Nor am I. I don't want them to see my fat rolls and my, you know, acorn on a beanbag. You want them to feel them? No. It's funny because he's fat. They're not going to feel your peace. That's not what they do. They're not going to look at your piece either. They're not. Why would they want to? No, they're able to look at a screen with your naked body on it, but not notice anything, even though it's visible. They have no idea who you are. They have no idea who you are, and they don't save the images. You think they're going to be going, Mikey, do oil. Can you do oil? That's not why. Look how cool. You've got to see this. That's like saying.

2:06:26Just grabbing the average person off the street and saying, listen, I'm a stranger. You don't know me. Would it be okay if I saw you naked? No, it's not naked. Right. Yes, it is. Basically, naked is not naked. It's a naked picture, but the person looks like they're neon instead of flesh colored. Yeah. I mean, dude, you see every part of that. Me too, man. I don't like the idea of a kid going through it. When I need to fill up the old bank upstairs, first thing I do is go to x-ray pictures. That's what I do. Alienpictures.com. Alienpictures.com. When I need to take care of business. You have a kid walk through. Right. A kid walks through. Guys that you don't know looking at naked pictures of your kid. Do they scan kids? They're going to start. Do they now? They will. I don't know if they do now. They will. They will. I mean, would you rather have a guy patting your kid down? I mean, it's one of those. I'm not talking about the spank Rolodex. It's one of those things. Did you hear what I said? Yeah. I'm not talking about the spank Rolodex. I'm not. I'm not saying that they're going to look at a chick and be like, oh, I'm going to use that thought later. Right. It's just embarrassing. Like, you know, you don't want them to see what you got.

2:07:30It's your nakedness, and it is naked. It's the most vulnerable you can be. Hey, where's the new open, Jay? It's in the green. Go back one. Over here? Yeah. There you go. There we go. All right, you guys ready to play a new game? Oh, yes. 570-1949. It's called Do Not Stump Sienna. Don't stump, don't stump Sienna. I'm scared. All right, now. Sienna is 25 years old. She's the youngest person on the show, and we exploit that. Yes, you do. We do. Now, here's the way that we exploit it. You see, Sienna knows her pop culture, but she knows her pop culture from the new millennium, mostly. So after the year 2000, she's pretty good. But stuff from the 90s and before that...

2:08:23Forget it. She's not that good at it. And she'll tell you straight up. I don't know. Pretty much from high school and before, I wasn't alive. When did you graduate high school? What year? 2003. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. Ten years after your kid. In fairness to Sienna, my wife, who is an extremely intelligent woman, she don't know any of these. Really? Not one. Guarantee you. L-O-B. A lot of times, gals. Maybe it's us guys that are a little bit more interested in the little nonsensical stuff. Yeah, you know? When I'm up against LLB, she knows them all. All right, well, we'll give it a shot here. Now, these questions are for Sienna, okay? And first, we've got to get some people on the phone here. M1 Snowman from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yes, I am. All right, now, if she gets the question wrong, you don't win. Okay. What you want is for Sienna to not... get the question right or to get it. You want me to get it right. Exactly. It's going to be rare. Yeah. Want to know what we're playing for? What are we playing for? We've got Dandy Warhol tickets to the Billy Tavern December 7th. Right on. Okay. I'll ask the first question, Sienna. Are you ready? Yeah. What famous actress was John Hinckley obsessed with when he shot President Reagan? John Hinckley? Shirley Temple.

2:09:49It was not Shirley Temple. I thought of the oldest person I could think of. Listen, very close. I was like, it's a drink, it's a drink. He was obsessed with Jodie Foster. He was obsessed with Jodie Foster. I'm sorry, you are not a winter snowman. Up next, M1 Steve from the OC. Are you there? Yeah, what's up, guys? Joe Sienna, you got this. Okay, thank you for the confidence. Woodsy. Sienna. Yeah. Name a hit song from the band Deep Purple. Purple People Eater. Oh. I'm sorry about that, buddy. Sorry, Steve. Her answers are the best part of this game. I know it. I know it. I'm going to try. If she gets it right, you win. M1, Brian from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yes. All right. Ella B? Sienna. What brand of over-the-counter medication was tampered with and poisoned people in the early 80s? I did that, too. You clown. You clown. Brian, you just gave the answer, and Sienna's the one that's getting the answer. Dude, I was going to say that, too. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. All right. Except Cheater McGeeter does not surprise. Sorry, Cheater McGeeter. I got a spit cup for you. You can come down here and pick it up. Okay. Cheater McGeeter. Who's up next? It's me. All right, go ahead.

2:11:18Jay. Do we have the person ready to go? Yeah. Sorry about that. M1 Leah from La Mesa. You there? That's me. All right. If she gets it wrong, you're out of luck. If she gets it right, you win. All right. Let's go. All right. Go ahead, Jay. Jessica Hahn was a woman that what famous TV evangelist had an affair with? Oh, my gosh. I know the last name. It's Baker. Dude, that's it. That's it. Does that count? Does that count? Yeah. Okay. You got it. That's it. It was Jim Baker. I got one out of four. You got one out of four. Is that still failing? That's awesome. You could have gotten two. Yeah, you could have gotten two. You actually got 50%. Because Tylenol. New Tylenol. I didn't know and I was going to guess it. Leah, hang on the line, okay? All right. How did you know that? He was married to Tammy Faye. That's right. Tammy Faye Baker. Married to Tammy Faye Baker. That's right. It's a good one. She's great with her makeup. That was the weirdest thing. That makeup. Oh, gosh. And the crying bit. I heard she got it like permanently, like the permanent makeup. Oh, my. I know my makeup already. That's right. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. And if you want to text us, it's 949-MIKEY. There's a show in Britain called The X Factor. You're going to love this, Sienna. Great. There's a show in Britain called The X Factor. And it's basically American Idol, okay?

2:12:48There's a female judge on there, and it sounds like she might have fucked up. Oh, yes. Oh, no. No way. We have audio. During her little spiel, you'll hear it for yourself when we come back. Remember this video? I love this video. This is a cartoon-ish type thing, right? Animation. Animation. Sorry. Greetings. He's in a mirror. It was like his life in the mirror and the whole deal. Making a ride for you, pal. Thank you. You're welcome. Git. Thank you for being welcome and thanking me for being welcome. You're welcome. Git. Welcome me for thanking me. Wow. All that for that. A long anticipation for Git. Are you ready for this? So you got to listen closely. It comes about six seconds into this. I can't wait.

2:14:37It's a British woman named Cheryl Cole. She's on the British X Factor, which is American Idol, and... She's pretty. Yeah. Didn't think that the microphones would pick up, you know, because the microphone's like a little lapel. Didn't think it would pick up if she were to... Please say that and so. Sometimes with your stage presence and your... Sometimes pretendy confidence, it's easy to forget that you sound. No, it wasn't. Sienna would know. I want it to be a fart so bad, but I just don't think it is. Sounds like a chair. I don't think she would do it when she's talking like that. It could be someone else next to her and it picked up the sound. It doesn't sound farty. Do you know what? Sometimes with your stage presence and your pretendy confidence, it's hard to forget that you sound. I want it to be, but it's not. It does sound like a chair scooting. And the timing, there's like a slight pause, so it's like, oh, you want it to be one? Sometimes pretend you're confident. It's easy to forget that you're seven. Sometimes pretend you're confident. It's easy to forget your presence and you're... Sometimes pretend... It's gotta be. It could be. I hope it is. Hey, partner, come on, you gotta relax. Don't force it. You're gonna blow out your O-ring. Your O-ring.

2:15:54By the way, don't forget, get the day off on December 16th and 17th because Mikey Thawne 2010 is on its way. I took both those days off. You'll be here and not leaving. Oh, no, it's taking off. Is that cool? There will be surprises. There will be lots of things. Go out and rent the movies now. The movies that we're going to be watching are Waterworld. And Dirty Dancing. I sent Adam out to get him. I said, Adam, will you go get him? He goes, I actually own Dirty Dancing. Weird. What? Not a boy. I have the limited edition. Wow. Are you going to know every word? Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. You'll know what's coming. That's just great. I have never seen it. Should I watch it before or no? No. No? Okay. Okay. Just go with it, man. Just go with it. So good. Maybe at the end we can do a dance routine and I can do the lift. There you go. Have you ever done the lift? Nope. I think I know what the lift is. I've never seen it. Is it when they're dancing and he just picks her up? It's a pretty standard dance move. Yeah. That's how I met Kim. We were doing this. We skied Adagio. That's right. She's my partner. Of course you did. Of course you did. That is correct. Haven't you done? All right. You guys ready to do some new releases? Yeah. All right. What do we got, Woodsy? All right. We ready for this? Yeah. The Canadian Brian Adams, Bare Bones. In.

2:17:17In. What'd he do? He just re-recorded it? Bare bones. Like, probably acoustic. In. Unplugged. Yeah. Sold. Yeah, but why this instead of the one that we're using? He needs money. I love it. You don't like acoustic versions of songs? Oh, it's like my favorite. Yeah, that doesn't sound like what I like. I don't like the cheering in the background. She's ruining it, that girl. I could go without the cheering, but man, there is nothing more better to me, Mr. English Major, than an acoustic unplugged album. He's also doing different phrasing, and I don't like that. It makes you feel like you're at the concert. Yeah, Mike. She don't mention the word addiction. That's another bam, but I see what you're saying. You like it just like the CD. Yes. Sing the record. That's what I like. That's great for them. That's great for them. They get bored of it. Great. But I like that song because I like that song. I met your concert because I like that song, not this weird version. Didn't you like Tesla's five-man acoustical jam? Is that a song? No, never mind.

2:18:34Oh, that's their acoustic album? Acoustic record. Neil Young unplugged. All this stuff unplugged is great. Pearl Jam unplugged. Dynamite. They get creative license to kind of elaborate. Yeah. I like it when it sounds like what I like. If it's exactly as it was, why are you going to the concert? He doesn't. Because live does have a different sound to it. And you get to see them. Live has a different sound. You can just own the CD. Yeah, you get to be there. You get to see them. You get to perform it. The atmosphere. Yeah, I want it to sound the same. I do too. Weird. This one can G-I-T. Josh Groban. Illuminations. Right now there are 57-year-old women crying. They're so happy. Oh, it's a good song. Throwing their panties on stage. You know this song? This isn't Josh Groban. It feels like I'm on my way back. It's like a Broadway song or something? Something like that. Andrew Lloyd Webber. It was on The Sister's Keeper, that movie with Cameron Diaz. Oh, my God. It's a good song. Never heard it. How many times did you see the movie that you know the song? I don't know. It's always on.

2:19:34TV, cable. That's fantastic. But I've never heard the Josh Groban version. Now you have. Look out, everyone. Worst female haircut ever, Annie Lennox, a Christmas cornucopia. Wow. Robot and Christmas music. It's We Three Kings, right? Yeah, this is how they tortured guys at Abu Ghraib. They just played this into the jail. That would work. Imagine in Shawshank Redemption, he plays this song. Exactly. Everyone's like, turn it off! Yeah, they were like, please, please, I'll tell you anything, I'll tell you anything. Please turn it off, please turn it off. Sounds like broken glass. Please, it feels like I'm walking on broken glass. Hook me back up to the electrodes, please, please. Water for me! Water for me!

2:20:38I hate that your wrist mix. No more than this mix. Nelly, 5.0. He's booty dancing. Nelly has lost it. Oh, yeah. I hate it. Weird. How come you don't lie, has he lost it? The ride with me, Nelly. Like, that was a good Nelly. This is just. He's got to get up with the time. He's done. I picture hearing that in a limo that has, like, a disco ball. Yeah, for sure. G.I.T., Rascal Flatts, nothing like this. Oh, they're so beautiful. Love it. Oh, that's so pretty. They don't have one song that I do not like. Listen to those vocals. I would listen to this in my car with no one knowing it. Hank Williams just called and said, you, my friend. I like him, too. Or a homosexual. It's okay to like different things. It's pretty. Come on, Mr. I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift. Hey, you don't worry about Taylor Swift. Rihanna, loud.

2:21:54It's not the best that I've heard from her. The chorus is going to be good, I have a feeling. Too slow for Rihanna. It's going to be so sticky. I'm in. She lost me. She lost me. No way. That's it. Don't say hella, though. Don't say hella. Where would you listen to that? In your car? Yeah, just jamming. It's just too mid-tempo for me. I was in, but I cannot sing that song because I won't let the words hella come out of my mouth. That's hella cool of you singing. Black guys.

2:22:43Yeah, I do. But Bob Dylan and stuff. That's like more slower driving stuff. If you're going to have some of them with a beat like that, what I expect from Rihanna is something I can clean my apartment to that I can shake my booty, get on down. That one was still good. That makes my mouth water. Bruce Springsteen, The Promise, which is a compilation of unreleased songs from Darkness on the Edge of Town sessions. Yeah, there's usually a reason they don't release something. And that's why. Just because he's from Jersey. Look at Ella V. She's smiling. She's loving it. It's a throwback. It's a throwaway. Yeah, they were like, maybe we don't put this one on the album. Why not? This is great. No, it's because it's terrible, Bruce. What about Bond in the USA? I can't believe that song made it through. God, that's a good song. A lot of people like that song. Stereolab, not music.

2:23:45That's just your opinion. What's that? That is not me. Sounds like it would be in the movie Garden State. I was like, what? Yeah, Garden State. Zach Braff movie for sure. I feel like you have to tiptoe. This is what I wear a pink nightie to. And direct from The Ranches. and Plains of Australia. The Australian cowboy Keith Urban with the frosted tips. Get closer. They're not frosted anymore. I'm actually not a Keith Urban fan. I picture the inside of Boot World and I'm smelling a lot of leather. Oils and leathers and suede. Love that smell.

2:24:48It's the only reason I'm staying in the store. Because of the smell? Yeah, because it smells so nice in here. That and the assless chaps. That's right. And I have to buy a pair, so I can't leave until I do. And then out on DVD today, The Last Airbender. No idea. That's great. The Extra Man. No idea. Cats and Dogs. Revenge of Kitty Galore. Nice words. Lottery Ticket. No idea. Looks like a black ensemble comedy. Nice. And A Christmas Carol. Disney's A Christmas Carol starring Jim Carrey. There you go. Isn't that old? I don't know. I don't know. 2009. Mel Gibson says that he has a reason that he slapped Oksana. And we'll let you hear for yourself what it is when we come back. Maybe the most comfortable blankets we've ever seen in our life. And we want to say thank you to Melissa, M1 Melissa, who makes these things. I mean, they're incredible. And she does them for babies, but she also does them for adults and did them for each of our personalities. Incredible. They're the most comfortable blanket in the world. And I said, do you have a card? Because I want to tell M1s about it. It's...

2:26:22Lullababes. Is that it? Lullababes. L-U-L-L-A-B-A-B-E-S.com. Lullababes.com. Really, I mean, especially now with Christmas coming up, it's a great gift for somebody. She brought us, I have a nine foot blanket. Is that what it is? It's nine feet. It's got like special fur on the inside and then it's got guitars on the outside. Yeah. I can't. wait to get to my couch. It's so soft. Hour and a half. I'll be under that dead asleep. Yeah. It's the softest, coolest thing. And, you know, listen, that's right up my alley. Mine too, dude. Like I have my new football blanket now. Yep. It's great. Thank you guys so much. Thank you. Dynamite. Thank you for doing that. 570-1949 is our number. So Mel Gibson apparently says that he has a reason that he slapped Oxana, right? Yeah. And what is it? Oxana and I began to argue as our argument escalated. I asked her to leave the house. She stormed into the room where they had, she was holding Lucia, which is their one-year-old daughter. And she grabbed Lucia out of the bassinet and yelled at...

2:27:36Mel, stop yelling. You'll make her into a retarded, brain-damaged idiot. So she was running around like a lunatic with his baby. So he said he feared shaken baby syndrome, and he slapped her one time with an open hand in an attempt to bring her back to reality. In an attempt to maybe that way she would drop the baby. Right, right. Slap her. Yeah. I did not slap her hard. I was just trying to shock her so she would stop screaming. Maybe Sienna reads the news because I'm terrible. That's a weird story though, man. Weird thing of him to say. So, okay. So I wanted to get to this yesterday, but we didn't have a chance to get to it. So I'm going to play this for you now. Apparently they are doing product placement in TV shows. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Especially when it's like, it's so... Blatant. Blatant, you know. It's like Wayne's World. Yeah. I love these Doritos. Yeah. See if you can see what they're trying to drop on you in this soap opera. Hi, Sammy. Goodness, I can't believe how grown up you are. Look at you. What have you got there? Nature Valley Granola. Nature Valley Granola and that clusters. You like them, don't you, honey? Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

2:29:01No way. Nature Valley nut granola clusters? They didn't break for commercial there? No. That was in the show. How ridiculous is that? Oh, my gosh. It's not at all subtle. Like a little kid's going to walk in and go, I have Nature Valley granola. He's got granola bar? Yeah. Nature Valley? Let's see. How about this one? What happened? What is it? It's going to take a long time to explain, so it's another time, okay? Well, that's it. Both of you, come on. You're going to feel better when you eat. This is Wan Chai Ferry Chinese food. I made some for the kids earlier, and they just couldn't get enough of it. That sounds great. It's a very subtle dropping in of Wan Chai Ferry Chinese food.

2:29:59Available at your local grocers. Is this only happening on soap operas? That's where they're starting it. Because soap operas are kind of like dying off a little bit. Yeah. Hey, Mikey. Yeah. Where did you get your insurance card? I got my insurance card from AIS. Why do you ask? I was just wondering. I am also in need of some insurance. You know, it's really, really starting to get hot in here. I think that I would like to take a drink of some Pepsi Cola in order to cool down. Chicken, salad, brownies. My grandma sure knows how to pack a picnic basket. Ooh, Chex Mix. Chex Mix, what's Chex Mix? Are you serious? What, are you living under a rock? Is that Chex Mix from Nabisco? Yes, it is. Oh my gosh. That is like, it's uncanny. Isn't it stupid? It's so blatant. You know, Mike, when I take a dip of snuff in the morning, I prefer a Copenhagen long cut. But you know why they're doing it? Because of the DVRs. Nobody's watching commercials anymore, so now they're having to do product integration. See, I thought it was because soap operas have no money anymore. Running out of dough. So they're like, it will do anything. Yeah. It's like everything else. It's so great. It's nuts. Technology's making it hard for advertisers. Yep. Well, let's see. Woodsy, I got some stories here, but we got to see if you have them. No. You don't? She only gave me the two. But I can wing them.

2:31:28If you like. Well, go ahead. We'll go back to remember the old days. Let's do it. People are wondering, where did Sienna go? Yeah. Well, it's because you have big jugs. There she is. There she is. There's Sienna. Sienna just had a baby, so she has to pump. Yeah. Sorry to our phone screener. It's not all put away. Oh. Well. Everettie. Why does Will have a milk mustache right now? That's weird. That's disgusting. It was disgusting. I heard you struggling. I was like, oh, I'm coming. I'm coming. I wasn't struggling. Maybe it was. Okay. All right. So let's see. A couple of things.

2:32:29No more F grades allowed at schools in Virginia. Dream come true. The dream is alive, finally. There's a school in Virginia. The name is West Potomac High School. Potomac. There we go. There you go. Maybe you do the deuce. They're getting rid of F grades altogether, and they're substituting the F grades for an I, which stands for incomplete. Now the thing is, now it's impossible for students to fail. If you get an I... The difference is, is you have throughout the rest of the school year to make up for this incomplete. Rad. So you say you fail a test. You get an I. Maybe you just retake the test. Rad. You can make up for that grade to like prove yourself. Why didn't I give someone that didn't study incentive to not even try at all? Exactly. And just wing it and hope they're going to see. Well, there's two things, you know. You could have the take that's like, oh, this is great because that way, no matter what, the child will. will learn that if they failed. If they failed, then they're just, you know, they're done and they're like, man, I failed. If they get an incomplete, then they can try again until they do learn it and prove themselves. However, if you're a teacher, you're like, you know, how does a student learn to study? They're just going to be like, ah, screw it. Well, we can't have our children have Fs. That would affect their self-esteem. I don't think that's the issue. I really don't. What is it? I think the issue is learning.

2:33:51And, for instance, I went to college. I mean, I basically winged my way through high school. I mean, when I say I did nothing, I did less than nothing and got by on Cs and Bs, and there were a couple Ds sprinkled in there, maybe even an F. Maybe even an F in trigonometry. So how does this? It's going to teach them to learn. So let's say I take history, and I get an incomplete in history. I then have to work the rest of the year to bring that I up to a D or C. So I'm studying. I'm learning. You should be doing that from the get-go. If I get an F, don't I have to work to get a D? No, you can get an F on your report card. Yeah, you can get an F on your report card. That way you have zero Fs on your report card. If you get an I, I mean, they're going to give you time to make up for it. Yeah, what if you don't? Then you get an I. You keep your I? I guess. Incomplete. That means you just don't get credit for that class. Yeah, and it doesn't count. I guess, yeah, you would go without getting credit, but you wouldn't get a really low GPA. So this is forcing you to do something. I want to learn more about it because I feel like I'm speaking like an idiot on it right now. But I want to learn more. I think somewhere in my brain it's making sense that this is a good thing for students. Well, they're redesigning it to teach those who may not learn at the same rate as others. Yeah. Which is good. There's a guy golfing with his buddies in Long Island. Long Island. Oh, there he is. And he got blinded because of a bad shot.

2:35:17Well, he's suing his buddy because his buddy didn't yell out four. Yes, this is a true story. These are two doctors, doctors doing this. They're playing golf in Long Island. One has a poor shot. He hits a poor ball and hits his partner in the face. Oh, gosh. He's obviously upset, but one eye went blind. Oh, my gosh. Which is bad. Can you imagine how bad that must have been? Exactly. I mean, do you sue your friend? Yes. It was an accident. Absolutely. Well, now his livelihood's affected me. Well, he didn't yell four, and you got to say, dude, watch out, because four is you duck. You duck when you hear four. Okay, so four means I hit the ball, and it's coming towards you. I go four, and you watch on a golf course, everybody ducks. Take cover. The question is, whose fault is it? The guy for not ducking or the guy for hitting the ball bad? He didn't duck because the other guy didn't yell four. It doesn't matter that he hit the ball bad. I don't know the golf rules. Here's the deal. I thought it was like a joke. I can swing on the course, and every now and then I'll get one that I'm like, I'm never going to hit those guys. And I drill one, and I'm like, oh, God, four. Four. Or you slice it really hard. You scream as loud as you can. I didn't realize you actually yelled that out. Oh, yeah. All the time. All the time. Especially when you're playing with Mikey.

2:36:30And so he didn't yell four and his buddy turns and gets hit in the eye and he's blinded. What are the eyes? You're going down, dude. Well, they went to a lower court first and the judge dismissed it. Now they're going to a higher court today. So we'll see what happens. I think there's some assumed risk, especially when you're standing out front of a guy hitting. I bet the guy's going to lie and say, I yelled it. Yeah, I said it. They didn't hear me. I said they didn't hear me. We almost got nailed the other day on the course, too, dude. And that guy didn't yell four. And we were all mad. Wow. There is a dealership that is offering assault rifles with a purchase. Yeah. Car dealership? Yes. Sanford dealership. It's in Sanford, Florida. Come on now. Now, for the month. If you don't like it, I'll eat a bug. Or a bugger. No, a Volkswagen bug. Yes. They just kicked this promotion off on Veterans Day. It's for the month. And like I said, in Sanford, Florida, it's a truck dealership. And this is their special promotion. They are offering a free AK-47. What? With the purchase of a used truck. Oh, my gosh. I know. Now, anyone who buys. Do you have to go through a background trip?

2:37:41Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's insane. An AK-40. If you go for a background check, what's the problem? It's an AK. That's cool. What a great prize. Oh, boy. What a great incentive. Oh, my God. I would love that. How about a grenade? A lot of people agree with Mike. Anyone who buys a truck will receive a $400 voucher to a local gun store. Yeah, and you can't use grenades like you can use the AK. Right, because there's such a need for an AK-47 in everyday life. But you're selling trucks. That would buy a guy who may want to buy a truck to go to that place. I'm not saying that guys that drive trucks automatically are going to like AKs. Right. Probably more. apt to, especially in Sanford, Florida. It's like peanut butter and jelly. Exactly. AKs and trucks. But there's no real need for an AK-47 assault rifle. There's no real need for a paintbrush unless you're the type that likes to paint. And then you get one. What do you need an AK for? To go shooting. I like to kill. To kill? To go shooting. Well, just target practice? Yeah, that's what you... Well, wait a minute. Most people that own AK-47s in the United States...

2:38:48They don't shoot human beings. However, what you hear about it is when a nut job takes his and goes and kills people, then you hear about it. But that's not what my brother's got AK. He does? Of course he does. Of course he does. He's a gun collector. If you're a gun collector, you've got an AK. You ever shot it? Yes. Is it rad? It's rad. I want to shoot it. It's the greatest. Stop. Well, if you don't want an AK-47, you can get the $400 in cash instead of the voucher. Yeah, there you go. Pick that. I dig the AK. I want to shoot an AK now. That's great. You think you can get jail time for posting naked pictures of your ex on Facebook? One person just found out. Tell you about it. It wasn't me. Oh, I did play this. You did play this. Weird. Well, I thought I played them. Did I miss something? I'll tell you. Yeah, you did. What? You missed number three. Let's see. I did. I did miss this. Sienna, this is Deep Purple. That was one of your questions. I can actually play a little thing on the guitar from it, and I didn't even know that that's what it was. I think everybody can maybe play the first couple of chords of Smoke on the Water. I didn't even know that. Everybody must learn Smoke on the Water. It's like Iron Man. You have to know. You have to.

2:40:24I can do it. Didn't really do much past this, did they? No, they didn't. Can you name one other Deep Purple song? I can't. They were featured in Almost Famous. With this song? No, but they were there as a big mentioned band. Yeah, they were opening for them or something. Yeah, I don't know another Deep Purple song. And I know Lars Ulrich's really into them. It must be great. Let's see. Deep Purple. Type in a minute iTunes right now to tell you what they were known for. They were known for Smoke on the Water. Their other hit was Highway Star. Oh, I know that song. Love that song. Yeah? Yep. It sounds like this. What do you think about them, Lars? Sounds fantastic, man. You love them, don't you, dude? Sounds great, man. Grew up listening to this and Highway Gypsies. It's a jam. Oh, wow, man. That was not what I grew up listening to.

2:41:36Grew up listening to Journey. Yep. And you guys, I was actually thinking about this the other day. Have you ever heard of a band called King Crimson? Yes. Now, I couldn't name you one song, but I've heard of them. I grew up listening to that. Never heard of them. Because my brother listened to it. If you have older brothers, you listen to what they listen to. Yep. Older sisters. Yeah. What did they listen to? A lot of bread. Bread! Love it. And I don't know who's singing. Baby, I'ma want you. Baby, I'ma need you. That's Brit. So good. Is it me or were songs written better? Oh, way better. Everything was better. It wasn't like, I'm in the club popping bottles. Got mine to do with all this. Peas hanging down. What? Lyrical Masters. The black-eyed peas. My dad tells me that eggs and tomatoes. Tasted better back in the day. Stop it. And I go, Dad, I said, is it possible that as you age, your taste buds lose a little bit maybe? I believe him. I believe him. He said, I'm telling you. He said the water was cleaner then. He said, and they didn't mass produce all this stuff. Now, I will tell you this. This is what I know about tomatoes. They grow tomatoes now with a specific purpose. They want them to be red because Americans like that.

2:42:58So they engineer them just to be bright red. They don't engineer them for taste. The water was cleaner. The air was cleaner. The soil was cleaner. I bet vegetables were so much better. Chickens weren't stacked on top of each other. And my chickens, the chicken eggs. Oh my gosh, I miss them so much. And I can vouch for that. I don't know if I've ever tasted the difference between eggs. Well, this is what I know about the eggs that... That J's... That's J. Is it J? He's the producer of our show. Just the letter J. It's either the letter J or J-A-Y if you want to do the whole thing. Or you can call me J-Bird if you really want to get crazy. Or just Bird. I was about to say... Or Ben. Or Jizzy is also acceptable. You guys are just confusing. No, that's not right. Just J. This is what I can tell you about those eggs that he used to bring in. The yolk from those eggs was so rich and creamy. No yolk. Creamy. Don't say creamy. Ew, I like eggs, but talking about them is disgusting. It repulses me too, Sienna. I'm disgusted talking about the yolk. It was so creamy. Creamy yolk. Creamy yellow yolk.

2:44:00And you know, it was so fresh that it was kind of minerally and it had this sort of... Oh my gosh, please stop. This is disgusting. Sort of vitamin-y, minerally. You're not pregnant anymore, Sienna. We can throw these at you now. Baby chicken would just pop right out of it. Don't say baby chicken. You guys are disgusting. There was stuff that my wife, she can't even eat now. After she had a baby, it made her sick just thinking about it. I think I might be lactose intolerant now. I don't know if that happens. It happens? Kim can't eat eggs anymore. She's allergic to them now. She's had Jasper. 570-1949. That's our number if you want to give us a call. Deep Purple just turned into eggs, by the way. That's just for that little rabbit hole. Deep Purple to eggs. For the record, Jersey has the best tomatoes. I have heard that. Now, do you think that you can get jail time for posting a naked picture of your ex on Facebook because one dude in New Zealand? Yeah. Did. Yes, he did. How much time?

2:45:03He will be serving four months in jail for posting a naked photo of his ex-girlfriend. That's a long time. Yeah. They're saying this is the first time someone has gone to prison for using Facebook. Well, yeah, it's harassment or, you know. Something. Yeah, he pled guilty to a charge of distributing indecent material on Friday. Yeah. Yeah, he says he was in a drunken rage when he did it. Well, he's a J-hole. I mean, just flat ass. I don't even think you can put naked pictures of yourself. Like, you just can't have those. You can't have nudity. I tried, and it keeps booting me. Yeah, I keep trying daily. He keeps telling me, like, what do you want to tag here? There's so much going on. You know what I want to tag here. I try to upload naked pictures of Woods. every single day. I did the Jame Gum tuck back and they wouldn't even take that. It wouldn't even let you do that? They let you do that. No, it wouldn't let me. What kind of world are we living in when they won't even let you do the Jame Gum from Silence of the Lambs tuck back? What kind of world are we living in? I don't know what's going on. I keep hitting our upload. Jame, can I ask you a question? Sure. Are you on Facebook? Of course I am.

2:46:13Everybody is, right? Everybody is. I'm part of half a billion people across the world on Facebook. What's your favorite feature? I like to like things. Like skin? Yeah, I like... Here, I'll scroll down my page and say, here's the things I like. Wait, I see you're friends with Frederica Bimmel. Not anymore. Okay, I'm friends with skin. I'm friends with size 12. I'm friends with large jackets, leather, and vans. You like vans? Not the shoes. Like vans? Yeah, vans with no window. Yeah. I like moths. Butterflies. Feed them honey. Larvae. Larvae and take care of them. I had these shipped in from South America. Night goggles? Are you a fan of night goggles? I really like night goggles. Sewing? Yeah, I like to sew. Oh, weird. Kimonos. I like 45 pistols, kimonos, and the American flag. What about holes in the basement with little dogs in them? Little wells. Little wells. Like a well in my basement. Doesn't everybody have a well in their basement? What about lotion? Lotion. Put some lotion on your skin or else it gets a hose again.

2:47:41Well, Hillary's here. Hi, Hill. Hi, Hill. What did you walk into? Yeah. Every day you walk in and it's like some weird thing is going on. It is like that every day. I never know what I'm going to walk into. All right, so he got four months in jail because he put those pictures on there. What was he trying to do, get back at her? Yeah, they broke up and it was a bad breakup and he had been drinking, so he did it. I think he also said some bad things, inappropriate things that are a little scary. Yeah. You shouldn't give your boyfriend naked pictures of yourself because one of these days he might use them against you. Yep. You know what I mean? Don't do that. It's a lot of nudes of me floating around out there. A lot of nudes. Right there. Granted, they're portraits, but they're still out there nonetheless. They're oil paint. They're oils. Wearing the heart of the ocean. Finger paint. Yeah, you look like Rose.

2:48:50I look like Rose. You're on an old antique sofa? I do. I have bigger breasts actually than Rose does, so it doesn't look that great. Disgusting. What did I walk into? I hated that they showed Rose at 90 years old to start because then when you saw him doing the picture of her, you were like, ooh, that's an old woman. Don't. I don't want to see it. I don't want to. Don't. You ruined it for me. You ruined it. The creepiest part is when she lets her hair down. I almost throw up every time I see she's like. Oh my God. She's got long hair down her back. Long white hair. Old women should not have hair that long. No. We did that, you know, the Mikey-thon this year. The movies that we're going to be watching are, we're going to watch Waterworld and we're going to watch Dirty Dancing. Last year, or a couple of years ago, we watched Titanic. I remember during the scene where the old woman, she's looking into a microwave and she sees her reflection and I go, this is the most curious mirror.

2:49:59It's got a circular plate on the inside. I don't really know what it's for. It's the strangest mirror I've ever seen. It's a clock. It's a clock. It's a time machine? It's a mirror with a light inside. Hilary, what do you got coming up today? What are you doing? I'm going to play the new Social D song. Oh, really? Shockingly sounds like Social D. Yes. Social D song. D, G, and A. Back and forth. Right. Back in the Clash. Louis XIV. And also, I'm trying to... Trying to play more stuff from the bands playing our Holiday Hoot Nanny. So I'm going to play another song off the Black Keys record. Brothers, call it Howlin' Free. You'll play that within like 15 minutes. Nice. Yeah. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next. So we will be back tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. We'll do it all over again. The Mikey Show's out. Later.