The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/16/11
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Justin Bieber lawsuitsex tape warningPenn State scandalPost Office financial issuesgolf course etiquetteJay's sex or fat jokesCatchphrase gameFacebook security breachpost office defaultjay golf peefacebook breachmikey show
The show opened with a discussion about Mariah Yader dropping her Justin Bieber paternity lawsuit and whether she was paid off, followed by Mikey’s earnest warning against making sex tapes. Later, the team dissected Mike McQueary’s controversial Penn State email, debated the Post Office’s financial woes tied to email usage, and laughed at Jay’s story of peeing on a golf fairway during a charity event. Jay’s tendency to reduce every topic to sex or fat was highlighted, the audience played a lively Catchphrase game for SeaWorld tickets, and Woods warned listeners about a recent Facebook security breach that flooded profiles with explicit content.
What happened, in order
Bieber paternity lawsuit dropped
The hosts discuss how Mariah Yader dropped her lawsuit accusing Justin Bieber of fathering her child, speculating that she was paid off and her lawyers quit.
Sex tape warning
Mikey delivers a strong public service announcement urging listeners never to tape themselves having sex, warning that the footage will inevitably surface.
McQueary email controversy
Megan reads an email from Mike McQueary in which he claims he stopped the alleged abuse at Penn State, sparking debate about his credibility and the broader scandal.
Post office financial trouble
Woods explains that the U.S. Postal Service faces possible default due to massive losses, linking the decline to the rise of email and online bill pay.
Jay's fairway pee
Jay recounts how, during a charity golf tournament, he urinated on the middle of the fairway after drinking heavily, shocking his fellow players.
Jay's two deals
The crew jokes that Jay always steers conversation toward either sex or fat, describing his signature habit of making every topic about one of those two themes.
Catchphrase game
Listeners call in to play a description‑guessing game where teams must get their partner to say a word without using any of the words on the screen, with SeaWorld tickets as the prize.
Facebook security breach
Woods reports a Facebook hack in which users were tricked into copying and pasting code that posted horrifically pornographic images to their profiles.
People mentioned
MikeyMeganJayWoodsLaurenMonica DeanJasonMarianneJerry SanduskyMike McQuearyJustin BieberMariah YaderGreta Van SusterenSarah Palin
30,686 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Yeah. Yeah. Hey, welcome to Mikey Show. Look at this. It's Wednesday. We're halfway through the week. Supposed to be another gorge day out there. It's beautiful. It was a, what they call, chamber of commerce day yesterday. The type of day they take a picture of the city just because it's so beautiful. And it's supposed to be like that again today. Nice and sunny. Nothing to worry about. Not a cloud in the sky. It's going to be awesome. Get ready. Our phone number, 570-1949. And if you want to text us, you can do that too, 949mikey at gmail.com. It's, what do they call it, Megan, Radio Week? Is it Radio Week? Yes. Radio Week. It's Radio Week, and you guys have been on NBC all morning. That's right. We've already done two little things. Two little things, yes.
Yeah, like about four with the teases. He's been on about four times. Yeah. And so my dad just wrote me an email and said, Megan, I just saw you on television. TV ads 10 pounds too, so. My parents tell me that all the time, actually. They're always telling me, make sure you know that, Megan. Our parents don't tell us. We have Jay. Yeah, we have Jay to tell us. Our friend and comrade. Yeah. Supposed friend. Yeah, fake friend. Just looking out for you. Yeah, thank you. I just got a text from one of our reporters, Monica Dean. She's on maternity leave. Oh, yeah. We love Monica Dean. She says she loves you guys. L-O-V-E, caps, all caps. We love Monica. She's a little angel. She is the coolest. She is the coolest. And we just saw the picture. They put the picture on TV, and it was so adorable. It was really cute. She just had her baby on 11-11. Wow, how cool is that? For real? Yes, she did. 11-11-11. That's awesome. It's a good omen. Let's see. Yeah, so we have in the studio, Megan is in the studio from NBC San Diego. And I'm going to embarrass Megan. Oh, yes. Because a while back I was saying that she is one of the most eligible women in San Diego. The problem is that she's a very hard worker and she's doing a lot of work. And I said, Megan, come on.
dating thing where we set you up and she's busy. She's got too much going on. She's a busy anchor, but most eligible bachelorette there is, right? Absolutely. Maybe. That's very sweet of you. I don't know. You always make me blush when I'm on the show. If people could see, they would know. That is a true fact. We should dive right into her dating scene. Yeah, yeah. She can. Wow, you just went straight for it, right? See how things are going. Five minutes in the show. Are there any hot leads? Do you have a boyfriend now? Maybe I'm speaking too soon. Oh, no, I don't have a boyfriend. Okay, yeah. There's a bunch of boyfriends. Oh, wow, Jay. Yeah, why choose just one? Yeah. He's just a creep. When the pool's that deep, you've got to get in there. I can't control my horny. All right. That's right. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you. So, a couple of things. Big news today. There actually is huge stories out there today.
that we've got to tell you about. I want to invite you to turn on NBC739 because you will see us. And I keep saying that. NBC San Diego. That's okay. You got it right the first time and you're one of the few people who have actually gotten it right. NBC San Diego. It's actually NBC7 San Diego. NBC7 San Diego. It's confusing. It's kind of like going from Jack Murphy Stadium to Qualcomm. It takes a while for the brain to kick in. You know what I mean? Or from like Rock 105 to here. To FM 94.9. Not to bring up a sore subject. Because why would we? Well, you just did. Yeah, no reason. Okay, thanks. So here is what's on the docket for today. First of all, word of the day is enthusiasm. At some point between now and 10, I will work the word enthusiasm into... A sentence. Somehow. You've got to listen for it. It could come even during commercial. And when I say that, call her now and I may give you a pair of tickets to the Holiday Hootenanny and a pair of sunglasses from Spy Optics. Yeah. Booyah. That's right. Okay. So, Mariah Yader, the woman that has accused Justin Bieber of being her baby's daddy,
Dropped her lawsuit. Dropped the lawsuit. Yeah. Now, what they're saying is that she dropped the lawsuit and that her lawyers quit. Now, if you just use common sense, what does that sound like to you? Sounds like she was paid off. Oh. Common sense. Jay, why would a person quit? Why would a lawyer quit if she was paid off? He knew there were shenanigans. But he would want to make some of that money if he knew she was paid off. Maybe he did. Maybe he did. Oh, now you guys are saying he brokered the deal. Yes. Yes. Anything's possible in the celebrity world, my friend. Okay. Well, then there's one easy way to know. Okay. It's not like Mariah Yader is going to leave the public eye anytime soon. So as soon as she turns up in some mansion in Del Mar, we know that Jay was right. There you go.
But I don't think that's the case. Listen, I don't think Justin Bieber says, not only am I not this kid's dad, but when I get back, I'm going to sue you for saying it. Freaked her out. Freaked her out. The lawyer said, hey, listen, I just want to explain the severity of this to you. You're putting on the line, you might be charged with statutory rape, and Justin Bieber is going to sue you. And she's like, oh. And you're going to lose your kid. Shoot. Yes, of course. Yeah. We're out. Yeah. See you. I would be freaked out if I was. Now, a lot of people would say, well, what's in it for her? I used to be one of the last, I'm the last guy on the train of people do things nowadays because they want to become celebrities. Right. But I finally believe that now. I finally believe that there are people in the world that just want to be known for being known. It took you this long? Yes. Wow. I really believed that that was, you know. People just didn't think that way. I didn't think. But I get it. I get it. They do think that way. And I think that it's very possible that what she could have done is she could have said to herself, if I become famous for being the Justin Bieber girl, maybe before they figure out that it's not his kid, Heff will offer me some money.
I'll do a layout. Yeah, and I'll do interviews. I'll do magazines. I'll do magazines, get paid. So I'll make some money off of it. Because the Ashton Kutcher girl, she's made a little coin off that whole scenario. Now, granted, that turned out to be true, but she made a ton of dough off that already. Yeah. Yeah, well, she did that Us Weekly spread, and she's looking like the victim, and I didn't mean to, and I was seduced. You weren't seduced. And she got paid. You know, she got paid for all that stuff. Men are seduced. Women aren't seduced. That's a great point. Women are seduced as well. I was seduced by Ashton. Well, Mikey was seduced by Ashton Kutcher. When is that really? I boned Ashton Kutcher. That's taken out of context. It's not. That's a quote. No, no, no. That's a sound clip. I was seduced by Ashton. That's a sound clip. You were at the W Hotel on a Sunday having cocktails. Well, not cocktails, but you were having. Yeah, it was in the hot tub. That's not true. And you were seduced. That actually is a falsity. Not a true statement. You said it. False. I boned Ashton Kutcher. You never tell a lie, so that's got to be true. It did sound like your voice. That's right. And you keep repeating it. Did that girl that accused Ashton, did she tape it? No.
I thought he went on her phone and was like... She had texted a friend and was like, oh my God, I'm hanging out with Ashton Kutcher. And he grabbed her phone and he goes, now see, this is what I'm talking about. I can't have any of this and deleted it. Yeah. I bet there are women that will purposefully tape it. Oh, yeah. Video. You don't ever do... Listen, it doesn't matter if you're a high school... I mean, a college person. You're in one of those wild times in your life where you say... Even if you're a married person. I would recommend not taping yourself having sex. Never, ever, ever tape yourself having sex. You think you're going to erase it. You're not. You say you're going to erase it. You're not. But you're not going to erase it. You're not. And someone's going to find it. True. It's just the worst, worst idea you could do. Never, ever tape yourself having sex. I can't stress this enough. That's a wonderful public service announcement from the hottest guy in the office. Ryan. Sexiest guy in the office. Yes.
570-1949 is the number. So anyway, that's the big news today is that Mariah Yader dropped her lawsuit against Bieber. Who, I believe, yesterday I said to Woods, I said, I think that there's always been a long history of young girls being attracted to dudes that look like girls. And that's what I think is going on with Justin Bieber. Nice Bieber. Okay. These sound effects are amazing. Thank you. I love them. If you turn your television on to NBC7 San Diego. Excellent. Nice. You will see The Mikey Show. We're going to be going on live in just a couple of minutes here. Okay, so should we explain what they're listening to now? This is our show? Yeah. This is... This is what the reporters hear in their ear right before we go on in a live shot. Wow. It's called an IFB. So we're listening to our show right now because we're going to be kind of simultaneously on TV and radio at the same time. I'm going to give you credit for something that I think is just extraordinary. How you guys are able to function while somebody's talking in your ear.
That would, I mean, I would, they'd say something. I'd go, what? I couldn't do it, but there's no way my friend might go. No. You did it today. This morning you guys were doing a good job. I know. I almost was like, I almost took my headphones off and went, stop it with talking to my head. It's kind of like the Incorporator. Yeah. We do a bit called the Incorporator where we have to incorporate words that listeners give us into a conversation with a person that we call. Okay. It's kind of similar. It ain't easy. It is not. The person can't hear Mikey, but Mikey will dictate words and we can hear it in our headphones as we're having a conversation with somebody. It's a fun game. It's very difficult. It's not easy. It's not easy. Okay, we're right after this story, just so you know. We're about to go live. It's easy. Marianne, our anchor, is about to toss to us. So now I can hear. We're going to talk about Mike McQuarrie on Penn State. Penn State. Mike McQuarrie. Your boy. Your boy. Your best friend. It's Woods' old roommate. Really? I didn't think so. And to get reaction about the Penn State scandal and some of the other big stories of the morning, we turn to Megan, who's live at the Mikey Show on 94.9.
And Megan, you're on the radio, too. We are on the radio, 94.9, so you can tune in. If you turn on your radio right now or watch NBC7 City, you can hear both of us at the same time. Say hi, everybody. Hi. Hi, everybody. Okay, so let's actually get serious. We're talking about Mike McQueer in this new email. Yeah, the email. What do you think about that? I mean, this is a heavy topic, especially in the morning. Well, here's the deal. This email came out. I guess he wrote an email November 8th to a friend. And in the email said that he actually did stop the activity that he saw going on, which apparently I can only assume is not true because he's later said that he didn't stop it. And I can't believe that somebody would incriminate themselves with a lie. You know what I mean? Why would anybody say something about themselves that's not true? Well, and then go to the grand jury and tell them something completely different. So, you know. What are your listeners talking about? I mean, are they calling in and is there a big uproar about this story? I was this morning at my kitchen sink and I was making some toast this morning about two o'clock in the morning. And I was like.
We call our listeners M1s. I'm like, are they tired of hearing it? Do they not want to hear it? Because yesterday we got a call from a guy that said, you know, I want to hear funny with you guys. I like when you're funny and this isn't funny. And I said, how do we ignore the biggest story in the world? I mean, we can't ignore the biggest story in the world. And so I really to answer your question, I don't know. I don't know if our listeners actually want to talk about it or if they are. Don't want to talk about it. It's bittersweet, I think, because people are so disgusted by it. But it's almost like that train wreck thing where you have to kind of you want to know a little bit more because you hope that there's going to be something that comes to light. But you're like, oh, gosh, it's hard to look at. The phones go crazy, though. The phones go off the hook. Everybody wants to have something to say. They have a comment to put in there. So one guy saying that he wants to move on, I don't think. What do you think, Jay? Should we do it more? Absolutely. You can't get away from it. You've got to get in there. It's the biggest story in America and the world right now. And it's a very hideous story. And that audio we played of Jerry Sandusky's interview yesterday, it stuck with me all day. It's chilling. Well, and here's the deal, too. If you're talking about it with your friends, your relatives, then it's something that people want to talk about. And we are. I mean, everybody is. Everybody's talking about it. Everyone is talking about it.
We are talking about it on the Mikey Show and an NBC. That's Hollywood's, by the way. It is not. He wants to be referred to as Hollywood. Stephen Woods. Mr. Hollywood. I'm actually the only one on our show that doesn't do private photo shoots. So that would be weird. By the way, I want to just say, during the last commercial break, I was almost in tears that I had upset. That I had upset Jason and Marianne. And then finally Marianne tweeted that she thought we were funny. And I breathed a sigh of relief. But Jason didn't tweet. They were concerned. Jason did not tweet. Jason didn't tweet. They were worried that they offended you, too. But I think it was all good fun. It was all good fun. I'm out of here. Oh, boy. Don't worry. They'll have more questions for the next couple hours. So we're going to say goodbye now. Go back to the radio. And we'll check in again later. We love you. They're great. We love you, man. Jason. Jason walked away. He's out of here. Oh, wow. Jason got up and walked away. We have to lay on the TV right behind us so we can e-saw you. Well, on to much lighter news here. If y'all like to snack, that may be a good thing. Researchers say snackers can help your diet. I think we're clear for the TV. Nice. Good job, guys. Cool. Yeah, that was excellent. That was good. L.O.B., they didn't call you Laura. Yeah, that's a good thing. Which is a positive thing. Step in the right direction. Positive. All right, here's the other big news today. This is a trip.
The post office is near possible default. Losses for the post office, 5.1 bill. Is that possible? Dude. Come on. Well, no, no, no. I know how it's possible because we send email. Yeah. We send email. I use mail like crazy. Do? Yes. I told you. I'm one of the only people I know that pays their bills with a check. I pay my bills with a check. I sit down. I write. Why? It's a habit. It's a habit, and it feels good. Megan, you know there's this thing called bill pay, and it's really great. It links to your account, and it pays your bills automatically, and it's great. I think I'm old-fashioned a little bit in that sense. Fist bump. I write the checks. Today I'll go home. Today's my day. I'll go home and start writing checks. Licking the envelopes. That sounds like fun. Megan. I'm doing the same thing. Yes. Megan and Woods. Isn't that a beating?
Isn't that just a whip to have to sit there for an hour and write out? At least I know I did it. I don't know. Sometimes I don't trust technology. I know that sounds kind of weird. You doesn't trust it. And I don't do what I hate. It's automated. I don't trust automation. You know what didn't happen back in the day when I was sending out checks? People stealing my ID and having my debit card and going to run and stuff up in China and buying prostitutes and all kinds of stuff. But that's the deal, dude. If you weren't getting prostitutes online, half of that. Stuff wouldn't even happen. I know. I know. That is a true statement. That is a true deal. I love those Asian prostitutes. Yeah. I don't want my stuff out there. But yeah, you have an iTunes account. Yes. So your credit card's in there, right? Yes. Okay. Well. There you go. But that's one. I don't want 40. You know what's really interesting, too? If you Google his name, Woods. A guy on death row comes up. True story. He was executed. Oh, thank goodness. Now you don't have to keep saying. In Texas, where I'm from. Kind of looks like me a little bit. Looks like a Mikey Woods combo. Well, looked like you. Looked like me. So he's chunky. It cuts deep, doesn't it? I mean, it just gets you. OB Chubb!
That's Jay. He pipes in with fat jokes. Jay is the kind of guy that when we have a pretty girl in the studio, he'll make you embarrassed. So I guess I could talk about his long, thin wiener. Long or just thin? Thin. His thin wiener. His story changes. His story changes all the time. The only reason, by the way, the only reason that Woods can speak to that is because they were doing a charity golf tournament together. Yes, charity. Easy Sandusky. What? It's too soon. Why? Lauren O'Brien. It was a charity event. He's a sex pervert. Oh, my gosh. Jay is a sex pervert. It was a shoe fit. Oh, my goodness. Jay gets beat up on this show. Oh, yeah. Jay gets beat up. See? He's a very wise man. We were talking about what if Jay were in the same shoes. I mean, everyone keeps using Jay as the guy of. That's true. The butt of the jokes. How about that? The truth is that out on the back nine, I believe. Yes. Okay. He was about 15 tequilas in. Jay decided it would be a good idea to go number one on the golf course. In the middle of the fairway. In the middle of the fairway. You do all the time. In the middle of the fairway. Men who play golf. Lauren, you can't speak to this. You don't play golf. I have friends and family who play golf and they don't pee on the golf course. It's not normal. It's normal. Woods was on his cell phone.
And he walked. And he longly. He walked around the corner. He longly. Looked at it. Longly. He walked around the corner. Uh-oh, where's he going? And he saw Jay and. It's not true. Are we enacting this right now? I had on khakis. It's a true story. And I was holding the material back. And then he came around the corner. I didn't think anybody was going to come and gaze as longingly as he did. Gaze. I went, ah! What are you doing? You did not. You stopped and you just totally. You can ask the guys in our foursome. Is that really normal to do that? No. 100%. Not in the middle of a fairway. How about the next time we played? Yeah. We played another chair. I urinated in a toilet. And then the two guys in our group, where'd they go? So crazy. Right out by the vehicle. All right. Let's take a couple of calls. We got a lot of M1s calling in. M1, Vince from San Diego. What's going on? Hey, guys. How's it going? Good. Hey, I'm the guy who called yesterday and made the comment about... This is not what I want to wake up into the morning when I listen to you guys. I don't look forward to, you know, that type of stuff. You were all up in my kitchen. All day long you had them. Well, immediately after you responded and said, well, you know, I didn't think of it like that. And I thought about it this morning. I was like, I kind of feel bad about that comment, you know. Thank you. You're a sweet guy. That is sweet. I know it's not a topic. I know you guys got to speak about it because it's out there. It's just I was so fired up about it.
Yeah, we all do. We all do. I'm overhearing about it for that reason. That's right. That's right. I'm like, he's a creep. Yes. L.O.B. grieves through humor. Yes. She does. She does. She grieves through humor. M1HB from Scripps Ranch. Hi. First of all, James J. Isbell, that's what it says on the TV. Yeah. Does it really? It does. I just looked on the website. Yeah, it's Jay. You can just call me Jay. We're close enough friends. But it is James Jay. It freaks me out. It freaks me out, too. That's what he uses when he sends out emails for his company on the side. Right, his side company. I'm seeing reports that it said Rob instead of L-O-B. It did? R-O-B. Can you just tell them that my name is L-O-B? It's actually pronounced Boston Lob. Can you just tell them my name's Lauren? All right, thank you. L-O-B. We'll change that. I'll email the producers right now. It should be L-O-B. Can you just tell them my name's Lauren? All right, Lauren. Lauren, relax. That's quite enough. Thank you, HB. I'm very immemorable. Is that the word I'm looking for? Unmemorable, immemorable? It would be unmemorable. No, yeah.
Oh, Jason has tweeted about us. Jason Estelle has tweeted about us. Is there a number in there? Did he give us the number? He says, okay, you guys, at Mikey Show Mikey, here's your quote-unquote no hard feelings tweet. Oh, no! You guys are awesome, exclamation point. Great having you on our show today at NBC San Diego, which means Jason. Wants to? Yeah. He has his fingers crossed when he was tweeting. He gave too many details. Yeah, too many details. Too many details. Too many details means he hates us. Yes, it means he hates us. Yep. For sure. There's no question. Okay. A couple of things. The breach on Facebook. Security breach. Bunch of people had horrifically pornographic. Yes. I didn't. I was looking for it the whole week. I didn't get it. I saw. I got nothing. What was this? The spam? That's the uncomfortable alarm. It's short. It's a short sound of love. By short, she means four minutes. So we get back. Woodsy's got info on the NBA. We're going to play Smart Guy. Smart Guy. And we've got a bunch of very, very important news stories to get to. So don't go anywhere. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949.
Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. More from The Mikey Show coming up on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny. Presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. And Kim. Delta Spirit. And the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Opta. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM949.
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This report brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. Get a free lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance. Plus, you'll get a quote and your first toe is free. That's right. free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent. A little slowing as you come through El Cajon this morning, 54 southbound, the 8 connector, all the way down to Fury Lane. It's about 25 miles an hour. Also, some delays on the 125 southbound. The ramp from the 52 is 11 miles an hour. And we've got an incident here on the 5 northbound right past South 28th Street. No injuries, but it is an accident. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. When it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice. Here's your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices, service while you wait, available Wi-Fi, shuttle service, and more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon, and I wore suspenders. Don't lie to me, do you lie to girls, okay?
You don't lie to me. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. You know what I want to talk about? I want to talk about Woods' video blog yesterday, which was hysterical. Gotcha. It made me laugh so hard. What about mine? Did you laugh so hard at mine too, Mike? L-O-B. Oh, God. You know perfectly well. You didn't look at it yet. I'm going to right now. She said like that. I didn't have a chance. I had already gone to bed when you had done it. Totally. Mikey started a thing called the Mikey Minute, and that lasts about a week. Yep. It was really about a minute. Yeah, really about a minute. And then L.O.B. did one. Well, we've got to explain what it is. Oh, yeah. The Mikey Minute is just me videoing myself saying something about the day. It's a video blog. A vlog. A vlog. Then L.O.B. did one, and I saw it, and I thought it was genius. And within two seconds, I called her. I go, Did you do that from your laptop? Teach me. So then I did one, and my first one was stupid. It was basically one of my dogs just licking out of my mouth. And then I got L.O.B. a little bit yesterday. So yesterday at the end of our program, we were talking about how men are better and more talented musicians than women, which started this fight. Not all of us. I can see that. It started this big fight, and L.O.B. was taken up for women. And I said, well, what woman?
can shred on the guitar. And LLB said, Tracy Chapman. That's not how it went down. That is exactly. I feel bad. You guys are ganging up on her. Yeah, they are ganging up on her. Let's take a listen. And Jay was on my side. Yes. Let's take a listen to Woodsy's video blog from yesterday. This is what he did in response to it. Can you guys hear that? Who is it? You asked. Is it Keith Richards? Nope. Is it Jimmy Page? No. No. No, it's Tracy Chapman. And you stand corrected. You know, she's a shredder. I love B said today. We're talking about good musicians, you know, female, male. And she said, hey, what about Tracy Chapman? How could you possibly forget Tracy Chapman? That is a good chord. Can you play that, Mike? Yep. No, but I'm not a shredder. She's a Grammy winner. That's true. Very talented. And which point? There you go. I don't know what that means.
You just pretty much supported it. I like Tracy Chapman, but she's not a shredder. I didn't say she was a shredder. You did. Didn't. Nope. Yeah, you did. She can play. Didn't. And that's not even her most complicated song. Yeah, yeah. All right. Now, Lauren did a video, too, in response. And this is her video blog. Let's take a listen. Hey, it's L.O.B. And I'm doing another video blog. I've been trying to learn guitar. So I thought maybe this. little feature I could show you what I've been working on. As you can see, I'm trying to channel one of the greats, Eddie Vedder, right? Oh, wow. She's got on a bass. Well, kind of a grunge hat. Horse with No Name by America. You see, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name. You guys know it. And here goes nothing, I guess. All right. Wow. Try it again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep screwing it up. I can't quite get it. It doesn't sound the way that it does in America. So, gosh. Oh my gosh. Wow. I just realized I feel really stupid. As I should, because I'm a woman. What am I doing? I'm trying to... Oh my God! Oh, my God. Trying to play guitar. She kind of made our point for us. Oh, did she? I think you're doing a great job. I'm impressed. My gosh. Sorry, Emma. Takes a lot of practice.
You're getting there. It sounded pretty good. I may have messed up on purpose both times. Pretty funny. Sounds pretty good. So we have a tease coming up, everyone, just so you know. All of a sudden interrupt and say we're at the Mikey Show. Do you know what we're going to talk about? This time, no. This is just a tease. You know what? Maybe this time I'll say hi, and then you guys can finish the tease. Okay. What do we have to tease coming up? Tease yourself. Oh, we're going to say hi. I'll say hi. This is ROV. Jay, you're quick. Oh, I think we're coming up right now. Okay. And hanging out with Mikey this morning. Megan? That's right, Jason. I'm at the Mikey Show 94.9. Why don't you tease yourself, right? Well, actually, I'm going to be Tom Brokaw, who used to be on NBC, and I'll let you know that the Mikey Show will be coming up in just a few minutes to entertain you. So, stand by. There you go. Wow, that was very good. Oh, well, thank you. Thank you. It's in a very irregular way. Good job. That was quick, too, on the spot. Yeah. Wow. So was Jay's creepy line. Yes. And, Jay, I repeated that, which I feel odd that I said that. Yeah, I know. It was hard to tease yourself. Yeah. I wanted to. Okay. Jay, yeah, Jay. I didn't say that. Yeah. You can't say really anything around Jay because he can take the most innocuous sentence and turn it into something filthy. Megan, we have a saying on our show that Jay has two.
Two deals that he likes to do. It's either sex or fat. Yes. We're fat or sexual. It's always. He can take anything. One of each. Back to sex or fat. Yes. He's a different guy than when you came in last year, right? He's definitely blossomed and come out of his creep shell. He's come out of his creep shell. And it's really great. Last year, this time, Jay was shy and hadn't really revealed much about himself. And then as the year went on. What happened? What changed? He tried it out. For size. And he started doing a lot of peyote, too. Yes, and he started to smoke peyote in the desert with Jim Morrison. Speaking of Jim Morrison, we have not this morning yet heard Reading Rainbow by Jim Morrison. And you're welcome for having it stuck in your head the rest of the day, like it was with me all day long. Did you... have Reading Rainbow in your head yesterday? All day. I'm going to tweet Jimmy Fallon and ask him to put a concert on. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. That's identical Jim Morrison. I can't believe it. I love it so much. I think it's an iconic performance. There's no question. I think it's an iconic performance. It's such a random song to choose. I know. But it's brilliant. That's what makes it. Yeah. Okay, so...
Megan, can we play a game? Sure. Okay. We're going to do one of our regular games, and I'm going to play this game with you, okay? We're going to be on in about three minutes on television. You can say whatever. You never have to write it. I just wrote it. Oh, yeah. We're a reality show. We're loosey-goosey. We're going to be on about three minutes or so. Okay. So you can talk to Mary and Jason. All right. Cool. And what are we talking about? Anything. You can decide. I mean, you can discuss it right now if you want. Yeah, yeah, we should. Chase Wiener's story. No, no, no. It's a big story. It's breaking news. No, I don't know if that will work. Yeah, it won't work. It would be more like a thin story. All right. Salt and pepper thin. Talk about what we can talk about. I don't know. What do you want to talk about? Well, I thought you did a good job of the last one when you asked them those questions. Oh, I don't want to ask any more questions. Were they listener questions? No more questions? Maybe we can ask them questions that they actually can answer this time. I don't know. Anything else you want to talk about? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. Is there any questions you want to know about TV? I mean, I learn a lot when I come here to see how the radio...
folks run their show? Anything about TV? No, no, not at all. There's absolutely nothing I want to know about television. Do you think we can ask them who their favorite Mikey show character is? Would that be like this? Our intern was talking to us right now. If we ask what their favorite Mikey show character is, put him on the spot like that. That would be good. Maybe they'd say Rob. Yeah, Rob. Or Skye. Or James. We changed that L-O-B though. It says L-O-B, not R-O-B anymore. The cool thing is that L.O.B. barely noticed. I think it's actually... During the commercial break, by the way, I was calling her Boston Lob. Boston Lob, yes. I think it's hilarious because we were on another station and they screwed up my name. Really? It's almost poetic that it would be screwed up. Yes. They accidentally called her Laura instead of Lauren. People call me Megan. I was just going to say it's like being called Megan. Megan? I think I say my name odd because everyone always says, oh, hi, I'm Megan. And they say, what, Megan? Only sex perverts say Megan. Yes. Who says Megan? I do. Looking good, Megan. LLB just said that. She has an idea. Oh. About what? Oh, he went to Europe. Jason went to Europe a couple weeks ago. What part? I think he went to...
He went to Italy and Belgium and he went to Paris. He didn't like Paris for some reason, which is my favorite. Yeah, I'll tell you why I didn't like it because the money's like red. It doesn't make any sense to you. You have to go blue in a hole. Yes, of course. You know where you go for vacation? Hawaii. Right. You know, it's America. It's America. Open up your mind. It's where our ancestors are. Well, not yours, Mike. Mine are from Mexico. He'd go down to Cabo San Lucas. Yes. Which I also don't like. I don't like going there either. I don't like paying for stuff in weird money. It trips me out. It does. It does. You know what else? I don't like turning the television on and it's a bunch of stuff I don't understand because I like to watch TV on vacation. Well, you should be out seeing the site. Yes. That's the problem. You like watching TV on vacation? Of course. I've seen some of the best movies. You could just go to the hotel here. Right. Exactly. Maybe that's what. The pool is different there. The pool is different. I've never, you know, that's the deal. I love to go on vacation and I love to. Be in a hotel room. Yes. Listen, that's my deal, and it's not for everybody.
It's for me. I love it. It's not for my wife. For instance. We should start vacationing together. That would be great. You and I and then let the girls go do their thing. Go sightsee and dive and all the crap they want to do. We'll watch movies. Like you guys did when you went to Disneyland. He is a good friend and a lover. I didn't just say that. That's a clip that Jay played of me saying that at one time. It's been taken out of context. Much my body. I didn't do that right now. I think we're coming up soon. We're coming up pretty soon, I think. One more story. We're getting cues from Spencer, a photographer. All right. Well, let's see. This is what we can talk about. I'll throw it to you, yes. Just so you know. Okay. No pressure. We're great at living. We're just killing it. And by the way, I'm not going to tell anybody that we're Megan's favorite because it wouldn't be fair. No, it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair. It would put her on the spot. Put her on the spot. You are sort of my favorite, but I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't say that because, you know, other shows would be hurt. She knows we won't listen to any other shows so she can get away with saying that. That's true. That's true. That's true. Maybe that's my thing. Do you tell all the girls this? She does. She does. She tells all the girls this. She's like, I was in college. I think we're coming up. Are we up?
Identical Woods and College. Maybe you can turn on the IFB so we can hear. Marianne and Jace, I don't know if you got us or not. We are on live on the radio and here at the Mikey Show. Yes, we are. Good morning. We were talking about some of the things that are happening in the news today. We're trying to decide what were we going to talk about when we came back. One of the ideas that we had is to maybe ask some real questions because last time we were fooling around when we were asking questions to When we were asking questions to Jason and we were asking questions to Marianne. I can't hear him, though. I know we can't hear him. I don't know. We're having a little technical difficulty this time. Hey, Woodsy, do you still have that number? Oh, I have the number. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why don't you pass it along? No, I don't. So, Marianne, this is Jason. This is, I guess, what you get, the sort of technical difficulties when you're live on the radio and live on television. It happens way more. But how is it going for you? How do you guys? Lauren. Did you dress differently today when you were on television? I did. I put makeup on. Because you look so cute. Thank you. I put makeup on for one, so that's something I don't usually get done on the days off. And, yeah, I try to look a little fancy. It's about as fancy as I get. And we talked about the canned food drive really quickly. Let's talk about that one last time because I know it's this Friday. Yeah. I want to make sure you get a plug out there because it's a really great cloud. Yeah, Friday we're going to be from 9 to 1 out at Dave & Buster's collecting cans for a canned food drive. Yes. So come out and bring some cans.
Okay, thank you guys so much for having the best morning here at 94.9 The Mikey Show. One last send-off, Mikey, L-O-B, Woods, and Jay. Back to you in studio, Mary and Jason. We still can't hear you, unfortunately, but we're having a good time just the same. I don't know what happened with the IAB. I don't either. Oh, well. Well, you guys did a great job. I'm putting the television up to see. That's all right. We've had a blast with them on the air today. Is that it? Are we done? Are we done? We're done. We're done. TV. But we'll do something. You know what? We could do something for the look live type of thing for our noon show or a four o'clock show. All right, cool. You guys did a good job. That was kind of tough. I didn't know what happened with that. Well, this is live television. That's radio. That's how it happens. That's how we roll. I usually blame Jay. Hey, can we have her, can you play catchphrase before you go? Yeah, I'll play a game, right? Can we have time? Okay. All right, so I will partner with you, okay? Okay. So this is how we do catchphrase. All right. We got this little, we have this little machine, and people are going to call, and they are going to either pick Team Mikey and Megan or Team Woods and L.O.B. We'll need to switch chairs then. Why? Because you can't have a pass. You rotate. It's got to be odd even. Okay. All right, cool. Take off the headset.
Okay. So you guys are going to switch. And you've got to call us right now. What do we have as a prize, Jay? Today's prize is a pair of tickets to SeaWorld. There you go. All right. 570-1949. M1 Slam from Encinitas. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. You want Team Mikey and Megan or Team L.O.B. and Woods? I'll go with L.O.B. and Woods. All right. Hang on the line. Hang on the line. Well done. M1 Sean Sean from Oceanside. You have got me and Megan. Hang on the line, okay? Hang on a second. All right, so the way that it works is that we've got a device. The device is going to give us something in entertainment. We have to explain to the other person what it is and get them to guess. And as soon as they get it, you pass the machine on to the next person. The only caveat is you cannot use a word that's actually on the screen. Okay. Okay? Does that make sense? Yes. Miguel, do you want to start? I'm nervous. Yes. So I'm going to describe. All you guys hit start. Oh, so I guess right now when you described it. Okay. Yes. Here we go. So here we go. This guy has, he is an African-American guy with a lazy eye. He's in motion pictures. He was in the movie Lazy Eye? Yes, yes. I'm trying to think of a lazy eye. You know, his first name, his first name is another word for the woods.
They also call the wood. Yes. And his last name. Yes. Okay. I mean. Thank you. She is an African-American woman. She's got very large breasts. She was a model. She's kind of annoying. Yep. Okay, do I press something? Yeah, you press. Okay, Emmy nominee. Do I say that? Yeah, you can say that. Okay, Emmy nominee. Oh, she already said that. That's what you're describing. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry. It's okay. Go ahead. Team 2 gets a point. Team 2 gets a point. It's all right. But you get it now, right, Megan? I get it. Okay, we just described it. Don't say that word. You can't say the word. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Here we go. Here we go. I think this is a movie with Wesley Snipes. Blade? It's like that. Blade Runner? No, it's three words. Plural of the word that you just said. Blades. Blades of Glory. Oh, wow. Here we go. Yikes. I don't know. This guy is married to Calista Flockhart. Oh, Harrison Ford. Yes. Look at you. He's married to Mariah Carey. Nick Cannon. Yep. Whoa. Okay. He's a horse.
Mr. Ed. Yep. Wow. Nice. There you go. You got it. This is one of those publications that are kind of like an S Weekly, but it's more credible. It's been around longer. Yes. He was a dancer back in the day, black and white movies. He's Flintstone. Oh, I know. No idea. Who was that? Fred Astaire. Oh, Fred Astaire. Let's go on Flintstone, Fred. Oh, good one. You can describe any way you can possibly describe, except you can't use the words on the screen. Okay, here we go. Ready a little bit? Yes. She was in Something About Mary. Cameron Diaz. Yep. Desperate Housewives. Oh, no. Oh, no. Eva Longoria. Blonde hair. One. And she's married to that one guy that has three names, I think. Kim Cattrall. Right? Isn't that who she is? Okay. Not Kim Cattrall. No. Okay. She was in a movie. She's really good after us. What movie? What movie? What movie? I don't remember what it's called. It's like an independent film. And it was, I think she.
Shoot, shoot, shoot. She's very fit and petite. Blonde hair. Desperate housewives. Desperate housewives. Terry, Terry, Terry? Not her either. Oh, gosh. And not the one. She's still on. And her first name is like. I'm not. Oh, you can't say it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Somebody else's name. She's married to this famous guy who's in Fargo. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Patricia something. Um, no. It was Felicity Huffman. Felicity Huffman. Wait, what did she marry to? Who did she marry to? The guy with the weird head. Yes, William H. Macy. I forgot his name. Felicity Huffman. Oh, that's hard. That was hard. Oh, that's hard. That's hard. That's the housewives. One more, we win. Here we go. Are we ready? Yeah. He was in Fargo, though? He was in Fargo? Mm-hmm. Sorry about that, Mikey. Oops. I'm sorry. All right, it's three words. Three words, okay. The second word is a continent that includes, like, Nigeria and Uganda. Okay. And then the third word is not a king, but a... Queen. Uh-huh. The African queen. Yes.
This guy is a singer, and he dated a lot of starlets. He's a singer, dated a lot of starlets. Frank Sinatra. No, he's a current day guy, and he dated Jessica Simpson. Nick Lachey. No, he dated various women. Oh, the guy from The Voice, Adam. No, no, no, no. He's on that? No, no, it's not him. He's the guy that dated Jessica Simpson. He also dated the girl from Friends. He is... Jennifer Aniston. Yes, he dated her, too. He also dated Jennifer... Oh, my gosh. Yeah! You didn't name any of his songs, Mike. Wait, who is he? I can't believe you said that. Oh, my gosh. I could have named his songs. Jessica Simpson? John Mayer. John Mayer. John Mayer. Just say Heartbreak Warfare. Why didn't I just say the songs? You could have even maybe said... I want to run through. Yes. I could have sang the song. That was my fault. I should have gotten that one. I was thinking of the guy from The Voice. That's domination, guys. That's mine. You're new. He is seasoned. Dang it. You guys are good. That's a problem. I was very bad during that one. I was really bad. We play a lot. M1 Slam from Encinitas. Are you there? Yeah, I'm still here. Okay. You are a winner. Hang on the line, okay? Who's a big winner? He is.
It's a fun game, isn't it, Mae? It is a fun game. It's a fun game. Now I'm all charged up. Yeah. I don't need coffee. Oh, we get so amped up playing that game that we've practically taken 10 years off our lives. That's true. That's true. A lot of stress. Next time you come in here, we're going to play Buzzword or something. Oh, no. Which really will give you a coronary. That sounds really fun. Well, thank you, guys. And, hey, M1s, let me tell you something. We got something really cool for you. On the record with Greta Van Susteren last night was something else. And we'll tell you why next. Yeah, welcome back. See, yeah, there was a security breach on Facebook. And the way that it happened was they were tricking people into copying and pasting what they call in the computer world code. And what it did was it was putting, like, really disgusting pictures on your profile page. They were filthy. They were filthy pictures. And all this is doing is making it worse for Facebook because...
They were already being scrutinized because of their security. Now this, and we all use Facebook. It's like we hear this stuff, and what are we going to do? Close our accounts? Right. Yeah, right. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I am going to tell you about the prospects of an NBA season this year, but first I wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by our friends at U31, North Park's number one bar and grill. Some of the best burgers I have ever personally tasted. Well, the NBA does not look good, man. Doesn't look like there's going to be basketball at all. Yesterday, the NBA Players Union rejected the league's latest proposal for a new labor deal. Then they disbanded. Yeah, in fact, we don't really know much about it. You have a clip too, right? Yeah, I've got players rep Derek Fisher talking about the deal. We, as a group of players, After two years of making a genuine and concerted effort to try and close a collective bargaining agreement with our teams and with the league, we've come to the conclusion today that that process has not worked for us. It has not put us in a position to get and negotiate the fair deal that we've been working to try and complete. And as a group, in unanimous fashion, every one of our player reps decided.
This is the best decision for the players. So, I don't watch basketball. Right. I wear a Lakers shirt because it's comfortable. A couple times a week. Maybe. Gosh, Woods. Sure. Woods is just getting me now. I'm not getting you. I mean, I wear it once a week. Yeah. Oh! But I got a friend. We all are friends with this guy, Pilch, and he makes songs for us. And so... Got a hold of him. I said, look, I don't know anything about this NBA deal. Make us a song and make it about the fact that there's not going to be any play in the NBA. Right. And so he came up with this. For you NBA fans, Winder. Terman. There you go. M1 Terman and Winder.
I will have to say my life will not be affected in any way, shape, or form. Nor will mine. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Sorry. Yeah. I know that there are some fans of the NBA, but, you know, this strike is, I don't think, as big as the NFL strikes are. At new. Some weeds, some chicken wings, some, you know, he loves orange soda. I want to make sure that people know. that you vote for us for The R Factor. It's called The R Factor, and it's The Radio Factor, and it's your favorite morning radio show. And we are going to post a link right now to our Facebook page. If you go to facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you can vote for us. Okay, so Greta Van Susteren, she's got a TV show, and she was talking to Sarah Palin, who I believe is sort of the Republican version of Barack Obama. Let me tell you what I mean before people start throwing stuff at me. Too late. I know. How dare you compare Barack Obama to Sarah Palin? I know a lot of people feel that way. But what all I mean is, is that I don't believe that Barack Obama was experienced enough.
To be our president. And I don't believe that that Sarah Palin is in any way prepared to be our president. Listen to what she said when she was talking about Jerry Sandusky. It's not the players fault that they have. perverted former assistant coach. I would like to see the players not suffer more than they have suffered. As for the perp and perps, though, that allowed the sinfulness to go on as they had allowed in the past, you know, I say about this assistant coach, Sandusky, hang him from the highest tree. I'll bring the rope. I think it's pathetic. It's horrible. It's atrocious what took place. Now, the only You know, the only misstep there is that hanging someone from the highest tree, I'll bring the rope. There was also a name for that in the 60s called lynching. And it was very bad. And a lot of people still remember it. And so it's probably not the best idea to say, hang him from the highest tree, I'll bring the rope. Now, to each their own. I mean, I think we may all feel that way about him.
But you might not want to make the connection, the reference. Mike, I think you missed my point. Because what I really meant was in Alaska, we will... After we shoot a mousse or maybe like a goose, we will take them and then we'll hang them from the tree. That's not what you meant. And then we'll drain the blood. We'll use that for other purposes because we don't waste things in Alaska. That's what she does. She talks about stuff that gets gross. And I make soup from it. All right. Thank you. So you'll make Sandusky soup. No. Thank you. No. She's a creep. Let's see. Oh. Did you hear about the Marine that threw the Occupy guy out of the building? How great was that? The picture was legendary. The best picture. Now, let's see. Do you have that story? So check this out. This is great. Apparently, you remember Anthony Weiner? Of course. Representative Anthony Weiner. He had to give up his spot because he was sending pictures of his body. The little wiener. Yes. He was cell-donging.
So he had to give up his job. Well, the guy that is replacing him was getting sworn in. And some Occupy guy walks in and wants to ruin the moment. Well, what he didn't know was that there was an ex-Marine in the room. And the ex-Marine wasn't going to put up with any what they call sheenans. You know, shenanigans. So this guy, this Occupy guy, had barely got anything out of his mouth. And the Marine grabs him by the back of his jacket and pulls him out of the building. Now, the hysterical part of it is the photograph. Pictures. It's unbelievable. Legendary. It's one of the most legendary pictures. I love it. And we'll put it... We'll put it up on our fan page for you to see. But the guy has a look on his face like, and has his arms out. That's so tough now, are you? Yeah. That's so tough now. Heckler. Not so brazen, are you, heckler? It's easy to be a heckler when no one can see you. That's right. The guy says, I guess you could say I sorted him out. All I was trying to do was stop this historic occasion from being disrupted. There's a time and place to exercise your First Amendment.
Right. I want that guy at every comedy show that ever. Yes. Yes. Dragging hecklers out. Heckler starts and he's just done by some big badass Marine. Tell the one about. Yank him out. Maybe have him at every concert too. Yeah. I love you. Gone. Gone. I don't like heckler guy. I freaking hate heckler guy now. It's really bothering me. Heckler guy bothers me. And heckler guy, you're listening right now. You're laughing right now. You know you ruined the show, right? You're ruining it. You make everybody around you uncomfortable by you yelling out to Jeff Bridges that the rug that he's standing on ties the room together. You're a dork. We saw the movie too, clown. You're a dork. You're listening right now. And I know what you're saying to yourself. That's why I do it. I do it because it's funny. You're not Andy Kaufman, okay? You notice how no one laughs when you do it? Everyone just coughs and looks the other way? That's why I do it, to make people uncomfortable. No, you do it because you're hoping for a laugh and nobody laughs. That is a true statement. 570-1949. Grab a mic, get on stage yourself, tough guy. That's right. That's right. Question that came up the other day, talking to my brother, and it was...
If you fall on hard times, okay, let's say you fall on hard times and you're over the age of 30 and you have to move back in with your parents, what is the maximum amount of time you could stay with said parents before you are considered kind of a loser? Okay, everybody's falling on hard times. And your parents, you know, that's there for. They can help you out if you need a little help. Are you single? Ooh. Yeah, there's a lot. Wow. Are you single? Dude, that throws a major wrinkle in it. 570-1949. Yes. Okay, you're single. Okay. You're single. And a guy or girl. Guy or girl. Although, the girl, it's easier. It's way easier to say, she instantly can have four months added on to it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Wow. I think so.
32-year-old girl, 32-year-old guy living at home. Oh, yeah. Way different, I think. Way different. Yeah, but if you're trying to date that 32-year-old girl. But you're a man. You've got your own spot. But still. I have a friend at home. Bark Malman dates girls that live with their parents. Granted, they're in high school, but I'm saying. Exactly. They're not in high school, but they'll be like 25, and he's like, yeah, I've got to go to her parents' house to pick her up. That's weird. All he wants to do is make sex to them. That's true. If you're trying to have a relationship with someone, you've got to go pick them up at their parents' house. I don't think it would bother me. Mine's weeks, not months. You can live with them for three weeks, as I'm thinking. Whoa. As a guy? As a guy. Three weeks. How do you get on your feet in three weeks? You get yourself back together. Bro, three weeks, you can't even save up any money. Well, I mean, you're going to end up rooming with somebody else anyway. I was going to say six months. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no, no, no. Mikey, Mikey. You've got to save money, man. Two months. For a 30-year-old man, two months. A month. A month. No, more than a month. You can't save anything in a month. Hey, meanies. Gosh. You've got to have at least three months. I say two months is good. You need to have your butt out of there. What's the point of grading yourself and moving all the way back there unless you're going to do something?
Dude, you got to save some money here. She doesn't have to be able to save money anyway. Well, yeah, but... Even working at McDonald's, you can make enough money to get an apartment. Mikey Show, who's this? This is Rob. Rob, do you have an opinion on this? Yeah, five months, 29 days. Five months, 29 days. Okay. Hey, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. And on the sixth month, you're done. That's it. Five months, 29 days, you can say you've been in your mom's and dad's house for a few months. Yeah. Six months is half a year. Yes. What about the 30-year-olds that have never moved out of their parents' house? Oh, wow. Because I know plenty of those. You do? Yep. Plenty? Yeah, she knows plenty. Wow. Yes, men and women. Clown. More men than women. I don't know what to say. Nor do I. I tell you what I tell my kids. As long as you're a full-time student and you're going to college to get somewhere, you can stay at my house. But Finn and I just had this conversation yesterday. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. Now, if Finn moved back in with you because he loses his job when he's 31. Better not. You're saying three weeks, Finn, and in three weeks' time, this is what you need to do. You need to find another job. Yep. You need to save up enough money.
To get yourself an apartment and back on your feet. You don't even get paid for two weeks until after you start because the paperwork's got to go through. Don't you think that's a little harsh? Better be able to figure it out. Oh, wow. So you want him to sell drugs is what you're saying? Or prostitutes? Yes, he wants to. Male prostitutes. He can make ends meet. He can make ends meet. Wow. Turned to a life of crime, maybe. I moved back in for three weeks with my folks. Quit my job. They're Super J. He's a super man. Hey, listen. I got another job. Most men have to move back in with their parents for months and months. Not me. Not me. I've been saving. I put money away. I'm Super J. Yeah, Super J. I'm smart. I have foresight. Start saving now, kids. Wow. Guy drives a hard bargain, man. He does. It's a rough world out there. I'd say up to six months. Six would be a little tough for me. I've got to go more than three. Two to three. Today's economy, Woodsy, you've got to figure. Maybe it takes him a couple months just to find a job. What if it's a family? Sleep in a tent. No! With kids?
I don't have kids. If it was me and Jamie. I'm saying a family with kids. Woods, you're. I'd see the intent before I move home. And Ella B., Woods is on the record saying that family is family and that they can come in as long as they want. Now he's rescinded that. It's not for me. I will take family in, but I won't do that. I won't go there. Yeah, family can come in. If my parents need to live with us, they could. I wouldn't want to go live with my parents again, with my wife and my seven dogs. Oh, my gosh. You know, for a lot of people, it's like. your worst nightmare yeah for a lot of people it's like oh my gosh what if things got so bad me and my wife and my kids we gotta you know I've thought it oh yeah I've thought it I've been like you know I've pictured all three kids at Rebecca's parents or my parents you know and been like what we do what we do it's worst case scenario but it's an option it's usually the last option but you gotta exercise that before you go to the street imagine Your mom saying, oh, a little late, isn't it? Yes. My mom still says that when I come back to visit over the holidays. Yeah, mine too. I'm 36 years old. Yeah. We're planning a big night out with some friends when we go back home next week on Friday night. A bunch of Jamie's friends, my friends. And I know that my mom will say Friday, well, what time are you guys going to be home? Yep. I don't know, Mom. Maybe 3 a.m.? Yeah, can you not? Yeah, she's going to be upset. And I'm going to ask each of you, but.
But, Woodsy, isn't she asking out of curiosity? No. Really? No. How about you, LLB? My mom says she cannot fall asleep. That's the bit. Unless she knows we're safe. That's the bit. And I'm like, Mom, you realize that I live every day on my own. I'm 30 years old. It's different when you're in my house. When you're home, Lauren. When you're here. When you're here. It's my rules. Yeah. And then she says, like. Like say I'm at my parents' house and I'm like, all right, I'm going to go over to like grandma's house and just go say hello. Call me when you get there. Oh, wow. I'm like, mom, it's 10 minutes away. I don't care. You call me. I need to know you got there safe. That is scary because it makes me think that's what I'm going to be like. No, Rebecca will be that way. Well, you won't be. Dads aren't? My dad never has been. She hasn't slept since the day she had kids. Like she hasn't slept well. Rory. Yeah, and my brother's 37. Are they okay? Like, are they all right? What are they up to? Yeah. Oh, I hope nobody is robbing them right now. Oh, yeah. I hope they're not at knife point. Especially me. Imagine how my mom felt when I went to Thailand by myself. Oh, well, imagine. Oh, my gosh. She didn't sleep for three months. I was on Xanax, Lauren, for three months. She was mad at me for leaving the country. Stop going to Thailand. What do you want with this Thailand? I'm sick of it already with a Thailand.
You know, Lauren, she's always got to do her thing. You always got to be different, don't you, Lauren? Good God. And maybe she has a point since Lauren went to Hawaii. Yes. And let some sex pervert drive her. I know. No, she drove him. My mom doesn't know that story. Oh, gosh. But if she did, she might faint. Oh. I almost fainted when I heard you picked up a stranger. I almost fainted when I did it. I can't remember. Did the guy have shoes on? No. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Loin cloth. Long hair. Yeah. Long rain. Full of forest rain. Yeah, jungle rapist is what the guy was. He was a jungle rapist. There was random dreads that formed on their own. Like, not from him trying to be hip. From sleeping on a thing of pineapple. Guy had a sergeant's flea collar on. M1 Scott. From Oceanside, are you there? Yeah, I just wanted to see what you guys' thoughts were on this. I got a bunch of friends who've been getting married at like 21, 22, and they live with their parents, so they move in right when they get married. You know, I don't have a problem with it. I mean, if they're... If it works for them. Yeah, and I guess it just depends on also, I think it depends on, well, what's it like? I mean, is there privacy? Is it a duplex? Is it a...
You know, let me tell you. Is there a back house? Dude, what if you're having romantic times with your wife and your parents live in the same home? I couldn't do it. I could not do it. What? I rather prefer it. Come on. I like it. They're voyeurs. When you go visit the in-laws, you don't knock one out? No. You just got to be a little more quiet. I just got lightheaded. A little more quiet. A little more quiet. And boom goes the dynamite. What you don't understand is that my wife is insatiable. She won't let me go a day without it. Oh, come on. Hey, we could be at Barack Obama's house and we're going to do it. I can't control my horny level. I would love to be able to say that in the White House. I would do it in the White House, yeah. I want to wrestle you so freaking bad. Listen, Jay. If you go to your in-law's house, do not make love. I can't help it. No, you can't. Keep your snake in its cage. I guess it's got to get out. That's what my mom told my brother-in-law. Yes. Are you on birth control or are you sticking with content? Listen. Both. It is time to just let it rest for a while when you get back home in your own place. Kill it. It's exciting. Oh, gosh. It's anything but. Hey, we like to leave the windows open sometimes. Just let.
Neighbors watch. I put a baby monitor and I keep it in the room and then I go and put it in my kids' room. I play like roulette with my kids. Who's going to hear it tonight? It's like having roommates. They know something's going on. Roommates is different. Your roommates aren't your parents. How do you think you were born? You think your parents just... Hey, listen. Your parents made love so they should hear you make love. The birds and the bees do it. Yeah, but we don't want to hear it. You know bees and dogs? Listen, I don't care if birds and bees do it. I don't need it. I don't want to hear it. It's serious. Well, then don't listen. Don't listen. Don't listen. That's right. Jay wakes up the next day and goes, he's pouring himself a cup of coffee in his in-law's house nude. And he's like... People, a bunch of perverts listening to us last night. He goes number two and leaves the door open. He's like, everybody does it. Everyone does it. I shut the door for both. That's a big deal. I shut the door for both. Don't watch it and you won't see it. Oh, Jay. Why are you the way that you are? Such a creep. Hey, it feels real good. Loud noises! That it does, Jay, but there's a time and a place. And the time and a place happens to be...
That time and place. I feel like the fear would override the pleasure. I'm surprised that his wife doesn't say no. No, you creep. No. Why would she say no? Because we're at my prom. She's asleep. She's asleep the whole time. Can I point out the fact that Jay's in-laws don't like him? Yeah, exactly. They liked me until they knew that we were serious. I'm going to put my hand over your mouth. It's going to be fine. Now they love me. Now they love me. At the time. Jesus Christ could have walked in the door and they would have said no. He could have walked in the door. Mike? Doesn't that mean like end of days or something? No. No, he's going in his coffin. Mike? I'm just saying, it could have been the prodigal son. The what? Isolate, isolate, isolate, isolate, isolate, isolate. Who was it? I'm not going to say it again. What is it? I can't remember. Say it. The prodigal... Dang it. It was perfect. We got it. We got it. It's clean. Okay. Dang it. Did we get the Jay put the pizza parlor drop in? No. I was busy this morning on... He will not look. Play it from your email. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Jay, it's so funny. He loads every piece of audio very timely. Yes. Every time he makes some sort of parody. You didn't say to load it, though, Mikey. Yes. It's understood. Nope.
I copy everyone now for accountability purposes. It's understood that you are supposed to load audio, especially when it's funny audio of you. I didn't think it was funny. Messing up a word. When we say isolate on the air and then I take the time to go isolate it and send it to you, it means... It means you got to load it. So we can hear again and again. That's right. And Jay wrote back, why do you hate me? Why do y'all hate me? Really. This coming from the man that... It's ruthless. I mean, absolutely vicious. He's a pit bull. He's got a samurai sword. You guys, really? Megan from NBC said it right. You guys pick on me too much. Oh. She was very reassuring to me out here. You should cry about it. Wow. That's what my brother used to say to me. What do you say back to that?
You can't say anything. You've been mortified. Then you can't cry either. No, you can't cry because then you give him what he wants. You're like, oh, there you go, baby. Yep. Little baby. Look at you. You should cry about it. Oh, are you going to cry? I won't cry. Just sharpen my sword. Oh, no. Can't do that in the office. That's what you think. Isolate. Isolate. We need to go to break. Do we? Yes. Do. Food's here. Oh, yeah. See you later. Typical Mikey. I think that people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Also featuring Tudor Cinema Club and Kim.
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This report is brought to you by Children's Advil. Nothing brings your child's fever down faster or keeps it down longer. Choose Children's Advil Relief. that you can trust. Well, we've got some backup here in Alpine. It's due to a signal alert on the 8 eastbound after Victoria, an accident. The right lane's blocked. Only two lanes are open at this point, and it looks like there is some minimal delays. There was a fatality there earlier. On the 78 westbound Nordall Road, we've got an accident. Expect delays in that area. And you've got some backup here in San Diego on the 8 westbound Marina Boulevard, an accident on the right shoulder. You're backed up to Hotel Circle North. That off-ramp may be blocked as well. This report also brought to you by Cox Business Services, Cox Business, providing solutions for all your business communication needs, supported by a local team. Cox Knows Business. Visit online at coxbusiness.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Mr. Shedd with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning brought to you by Guayaquil Omate.
a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit That being said, it's kind of rideable, but for me, it's off to work. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For surfboard repairs and restoration needs, you always go see Joe Roper down at Marina Boulevard. Ask them about the border deal. The authentic surf report can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Yeah, this is the light. Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? They watch. On FM 94.9. It's with great enthusiasm that I present Naughty by Nature. I got so many cool directions we can go.
It's just figuring out which. Do you know how much the Charlie bit me video made for the people that taped it? No. Because what happens is YouTube watches to see how many hits your video is getting. If they notice that you're getting a ton of them, they'll offer to put advertisements on your video and you split the dough. Solid. So the people that did Charlie bit me. Had 386 million views. That's the greatest. Yeah. They made $158,000. Nice. Holy mackerel. $158,000. Chances Jay goes home and starts doing videos. Yeah. Jasper bit me and it hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Isolate. Yeah. Please isolate. I saw a girl on YouTube yesterday and I'm not sure if it's a bit or if it's real. Have you ever seen those? You can't tell if somebody's messing with you or if they're for real. She does a video blog. They're usually about a minute long, and she'll talk about any topic. And I was reading these comments, and I could see how if she were a comic, she was being funny. She had a picture that looked like it was Photoshopped.
of her in a black guy's arms. Okay? Like a studly looking black dude. Did you subscribe to my channel? No. No. It's like a studly looking black dude. And she says, this picture makes me miss my boyfriend so much who I just, and she's got like a Spanish accent. It makes me miss my boyfriend so much who I lost this weekend when he died. Okay, now, people start writing and they're like, how did he die? And she writes back, direct gunshot to the face. You know, and it's like, it's very dark, but kind of funny. And I think that she's messing with people. You better hope she is. How did you stumble upon this video? What were you looking for? Yeah. Spanish porn. Yeah. You know, just Spanish porno. That's what came up. You know, and I ended up finding this. Right. No, I don't remember. I don't remember. It was probably us. It's probably our YouTube stuff. But I even thought to myself, this would be good radio. I didn't want to play it on the radio. By the way, did we find the, did you send it to me, LLB? Oh, that bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From yesterday. And the pizza parlor. It's fantastic. Yeah. It's fantastic. Over and over and over at my home.
I listened. Are you tired of those yet, Jay? No, not at all. I mean, I can get it for your life. I'll kill you. Suffocate you in your sleep, mate. I'll have a seat. People say it's correct anyway. What's correct? It's not. Yeah, it's the way you say it. It's not at all. Pizza parlor. Parlor. Pizza parlor. That's right. That was better. Was it? It wasn't better in any way at all. Not in any way, shape, or form. M1 Brian from Poway, what was the word of the day? Enthusiasm. That is right. Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm. Dude, you got a pair of tickets to the Holiday Hootenanny, and you're also going to get a pair of sunglasses from Spy Optics. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you. Hang on. Send it to you, Mike. That's right. Do you know that Jay is in Tattletail?
Yeah. Every day he tattles on me for something. He tattles. He's a tattle. I am not a tattletale. He's a 47, 46-year-old tattletale. You're an adult tattletaler. I do my job is what I do. No, you're a tattletale. I'm going to do my jobber. Okay, let me explain how he tattletaled on me, and then you tell me if this is, quote, doing your job. Okay. I want to make sure I get my side right. I'm going to let him defend himself in any way. Right. Okay? So in our studio here. Which is our exclusive studio. Yes. Now, what I mean by that is it's called Studio M, and it was exclusively made for the express purpose of The Mikey Show. And no one else uses it. You know how Howard Stern has that arrangement? Yep. Same thing here. Okay. So we were using a printer. It was a Samsung printer, okay? Still is. Still is. Samsung printer. And... We were always complaining about it. Oh, this stupid printer. Oh, this stupid printer. Paper jam. Paper jams, stuff. I still use the old one. I still use the old one. Okay. Never a problem. I don't, for the record. It's because you don't have it loaded anymore. Let him finish. Sorry. So I thought that it would be nice to get us a new printer, a color printer of the same brand. And so I got one.
and I put it in here in the studio, and Jay, Jay Safar Isbell, my producer, teammate, goes to our engineers and says, oh, hey, by the way, did you know Mikey's putting new? Hearsay. Oh, by the way. It's Hearsay. You weren't there. Wait, wait, wait. You weren't there. You don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Before he did this, by the way, I told him I was going to get a new printer, and he's like, what, Mike? I wouldn't if I were you. I wouldn't get one. Yeah, don't. And I go, why? I go, why, Jay? He goes, because engineers will freak out. Everything's got to be approved by them. Everything's got to be approved. Everything's got to be approved, blah, blah, blah. Made it very clear to us. And I said, Jay, it's a wireless printer. Right. Doesn't matter. It plugs into the wall, and it wirelessly connects, and then we print.
Okay, fine. But I'm just telling you, Mike, you're going to get in trouble. Waste your money. Just go. Burn your money. Go ahead. Yeah, you're going to waste it because you're going to get in trouble. Yep. You are going to get in trouble. And so I say, well, it'll be fine. Just, it'll be fine. Really what was said was if you wanted a new printer, you need to go through engineering to purchase said printer. Uh-uh. That is exactly what I said. He did say that. And I still see no fault in anything that Jay did so far. As a job as my liaison to the rest of the station, my job is to be up front. As what you say is, you know, you want to be different. So I'm being different with the rest of the station. You said you like tattletals, Mike. That makes no sense. Yeah, I'm trying to be above board. And what that means is going to the people in charge and informing them about equipment that we're bringing in and out, especially since they asked us. I think that speech he made is BS. I think he was covering his butt. Oh, absolutely, 100%. Yeah, which I don't fault you. By the way, let me state for the record what I tell Jay when it comes to that. Hey, if anybody gives you any grief, tell them to talk to me. Tell them to come to me. It's my fault. It's not your fault. Me.
I'm not looking at fault. I'm trying to be. It's his studio. He's the producer. So he's supposed to be in control of what goes on in this room. He'll take the fault. It's simple. All we had to do is go to him and tell him beforehand. But you're like, no, Jay, we can be sneaky. We're going to sneak this in here. Nobody will know. Identical Mikey. I didn't say that. That's exactly how you said it, Mike. Dude, listen, dude. I didn't say that. Come on, dude. I didn't say that. I found this great printer, Ming. Ming. Ming. And so the printer comes, and we plug it in, and it works. It's working. But the only thing I don't like about it is it's slow. Yeah, it is slow. It's slow. But Jay sees the engineers, and he tattletales on me. 100%. And then he comes back and he's like, hey, Mac, they're mad. They're mad. You are in trouble. You are busted. Did you send the printer to your house? And I said, no, I sent it here. And I had to let the front desk know, hey, there's going to be a big box. You didn't have to do anything. I absolutely had to tell them. You didn't have to do anything. I can get my mail. You don't get my mail. Oh, really? I don't? No. Every day. What? When was the last time you went by your mailbox? Yesterday.
Well, then you're not checking it because I bring in stuff all the time for you. Well, okay. Now, that's fine. That's fine. But what I didn't understand was why he has to tattletale. Because he's a tattletale. To the engineers. He's a tattletale. It's my job. He's covering himself because they'll say, you're supposed to. I don't care. That's what a tattletale does. But wait. If JR goes, why is there a new printer in there? Jay goes, ask Mikey. That's it. Ask Mikey. So you want me to lie. That's not a lie. No, it's not a lie. I told you from the very beginning. Tell him you can ask me. JR has told me. That's not a lie. Anything you guys are doing, I want to know in advance. How am I lying? Hey, he's asked me, point blank, our head engineer, he's asked me, he said, hey, I want you to let me know anything you guys are doing. And Rick Jackson backed me up on it. Rick Jackson's like, yes, Mikey. Our general manager. Anything you guys are doing. And if we'd have done it the right way, I bet they'd be paying for our toner. No, I bet they wouldn't. And no, I bet they wouldn't. And by the way, well, I want to know what listeners think of that. Is that a tattletale? Or is that a man doing his job? That's a man doing his job and covering his own butt. Which is what a tattletale does. And by the way, he wouldn't get in trouble. I would. Right. But they'll say you're supposed to have control over that studio. And oh, by the way, nobody.
would have cared or known. Absolutely. They would have never known. No. They would have never noticed. It looks just like the old one. There's two printers in there. They wouldn't notice. Just because no one knows doesn't make it right. Ask Penn State. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Ask Joe Paterno. Oh. You're lucky I didn't call the police on you. Now we're getting calls. We'll see what people think. He ran in there the day that he came. I did not run in there. I'm a tattletale, but not behind anyone's back. I'll call you out while you're sitting here to other people. And I'll tell you the same thing. Hey, if you're going to do that again, I'll do the same exact thing. Oh, boy. It's my job. It isn't. It is my job. I'm a liaison to the rest of the radio station. Easy you, Ed. Who appointed you as the liaison? Well, you know, that's my job. Imagine if I were talking to him about becoming the future producer of The Mikey Show. Right. And I go, now, Jay.
I just want to make sure you're not working in any way for me. You will turn me in if I get a printer. Yes, Mac. Of course. You need to know this. If you weren't doing anything wrong, then why not let him know? What's the problem with letting him know? I'm just trying to figure this out. He's changed. He has changed. He's changed. When you first talked to him about the position, it was yes, sir, no, sir. No. And now it's. Eat my shorts. You know me better than that. It was always eat my shorts. Now he's John Bender from Breakfast Club. You are John Bender. Hey, if you're doing nothing wrong, I see no problem with the truth. The truth will set you free. I will remember that, Jay. I will remember that. You got to be careful what you tell Jay Bird. Yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah. You got to be careful. 570-1949. You got any Tattletail stories?
I tattle, but I tattle, right? Like, I'll tattle on Woods to you in front of Woods. Yeah. That's not tattling to me. Tattling is behind. It's got the call out. It's got the call out. Yeah. Tattling is, like, I alleged. No, I can't. I don't want to talk about that one. Never mind. Yeah. But I did that in front of you, Woods. No, you didn't. I did, too. You did it with Mike in the next room. Look, I got an email, Mike. Look at the emails coming in. M1 Chemistry from San Clemente. What's going down on my ground? What's happening? So I work in the pharmaceutical industry, and everything we do is pretty tightly regulated. Can't really get away with doing anything outside of protocol. Uh-huh. And an individual that I agree with you, but I think Jay is definitely on the right on this. Oh, gosh. Well, thank you. I had a coworker. She had to turn in an iPod, she had one, that was worth more than $50. That's right. I have a tattling story of where I inadvertently tattled on somebody, and they got fired. Oh, my gosh. They got fired from their job. Yeah. Are you serious? Talk about learning your lesson. When we come back, because I don't know this story. This is a good one. I don't know this story. When we come back, I want to hear it. Oh, yeah. Tracy Chapman just is getting it.
He's getting them. Shredding it. Hey, I'll give you this. He's a good singer. She. He is a really good singer. She. How's that? Yeah. I have an engineer here. Come on in, Jeremy. Yeah, go in. Get on the air here. Yeah. I asked him, I said, would you have ever noticed that we got a printer if I didn't let you know? Ask him. You should have seen his imitation of you and how angry you would get. Freak out. I've never. Yes. Yeah. He goes, during the break, he goes, Mikey, if Jeremy came in here and he saw that printer, he'd be like, okay, I'll be right back. And he'd storm out and he'd go get Jeremy. I'm like, really? I've never seen Jeremy raise his... Maybe he does. He's the sweetest.
Kindest. Gentlest. Most gentle. He can drop the hammer when he needs to. What do you want, really? Handsome. Handsome. Really good looking. He wants to get you breakfast burritos. Talented. He's already eaten. When hasn't he? A couple times. Here is my deal. Here is my deal. It was something that wasn't going to cause any trouble, and I wouldn't need any help with, and I would just plug it in. connect, and print. You got it done without me, so you must have done something right. Yeah, right? Right? I mean, listen, if I was going to get something that would in some way harm, you know, or do some whatever, yeah, okay, I could see it. But I just, it was a printer? No big deal. If you're just tuning in. Wireless printer. Wireless printer. But there is power over there that we had to run. Oh. And there's a lack of outlets over there. Every single thing in the studio. Yes, it's the first 210 printer ever produced. It's just like running a washing machine or a spa. A jacuzzi. It takes the same kind of power that a jacuzzi takes. It's 110. Anytime I'm plugging something else into the room, JR says, hey, there's a limited amount of power for that room. Am I not right? You're correct. There is a limited amount of power. Limited amount of power for the room.
So we unplug. Okay, so you're telling me that if we unplug the old printer and plug in a new one, we're going to blow the circuits on Booz Allen Hamilton. We didn't unplug it. We have them both running. Hamilton is going to run in here and go, what did you know? We have them both running, Mikey. We have to have them both. Because yours is too slow, which, you know, if we had gone to engineering, they probably could have advised us about a quality printer. Well, luckily for us. Jay has me in a spot because he knows that there's stuff I can't say. And he knows it. The guy will get you is the bottom line. He'll get you. I don't see that he did anything wrong. The listeners agree with me, Mike. They do. I agree with him. My flock. Nine out of ten. There's a few people on there that said, wow, Jay. I'm saying this. If we were doing nothing wrong. then why not just be open with it? Let everybody know. We're an open book. I don't want to disturb anyone. I'm not going to disturb them. I don't want to disturb anyone. You know what disturbs people more is when you do it behind their back. And I did not want to do it behind their back. I want to be as open. If you're going to do something shady, make sure nobody knows. That's not shady. He's good at this whole Catholic guilt thing. Jeremy, is that shady? And if it is...
Fine. I'll admit that it's shady. If it is. It's not shady. Just tell somebody. It doesn't matter. That's why we have Jay, though. It's not really bothering me as long as you're not calling me. Jay wouldn't have anybody in here long. Here's the way it came down. I just told JR that we were getting a package at the front, and it was a printer. Whoa. Hey, listen. JR, we're expecting a new workstation. It's a printer. And... I know, I know. It's supposed to be approved. But if it comes in the mail... It's supposed to be approved. Let me know. That's a key phrase right there. It's supposed to be approved. Hey, JR, I know you don't handle the mail or nothing. I know you've got bigger fish to fry. But he definitely sees packages coming to you. I know you're an engineer. I know you're an engineer, not a mailroom guy. Normally when pitters or that kind of equipment come in, it goes to JR. He gets computers. Really? Especially when it says Mikey on it. That Mikey ordered.
Just saying. Listen. You got tattled. I like to tattle, and I just don't like to touch. I'm sorry. I did my job. He did his job. Hold on. Let me write down the rules. When should I do my job, and when shouldn't I do my job? That's right. When it's about anybody else. Oh, when Mikey's trying to be shady. When it isn't. Well, here's the thing. If it's not in your job description, you don't have to do it. It's in my job description. It's been very clear. Garrett made it very clear to me that my job was to make sure we interact with other departments in the radio station. Jay, let me tell you something. I want you to tattle on all those bastards. It's not tattling. If anything happens in there, I want you to tattletale, okay? If we're not doing anything wrong, how's it tattling? I just got you a Nextel phone, okay? Nobody has to know about it. If that Mexican so much as farts the wrong way, I want you to next on me. If you weren't doing anything wrong, how's it tattling? I don't get it. Thanks, Jay. Appreciate it. I just don't get it. Was it loud? I love it. Come in, Eagle. Come in, Eagle.
Now go ahead. I got you. He's at it again. It's Eagle. I read you. He's done it again. He just done. He ordered a fan. He ordered a fan. A reciprocating fan. Are you kidding me? You are a monster. Guy ordered a fan. Thank you. Did he get it approved through JR? Sure didn't. So Mikey wants me to lie, so I'm going to give you five Hail Marys, three Our Fathers. Hey, wait, wait, wait. How is lying going to somebody that doesn't work in the mail room and saying, yeah. I've been asked. I've been asked to tell them when we're getting equipment. Oh, Mike. So by not telling them equipment is omission? I got to tell you something, Mike. If you order that thing, you go on Amazon. If you go on Amazon. I got to tell them.
And I see you order it. I'm going to tell on you. I'm telling you right now. Tattling would be like, hey, JR, you might want to make sure that all their virus, antivirus software is up to date. That would be like tattling. He was just giving like a heads up. You're a freaking monster. He was just giving a heads up to like a package that he knew was coming in. You're a monster. Great. There's 90 bucks down the drain. My goodness. I mean, are you kidding me? That was ridiculous. What are you talking about? You know what we're talking about. I'm saying that would be an example of tattling. What Jay did was... Darn it. He knew it was going to be a blatant thing that was coming in that he might have to answer to. Super Jay. Does it again, huh? Yep. Thank you. Hey, listen. I endear myself to management, all right? And my flock. Yeah, and my flock. Okay? And y'all, I could care less about. Let me tell you why I do it. I say to them... If you want to know anything, come to me. Now, when heads start rolling, just remember who had your back. Just remember who greased you. Who greased you? I greased you, you greased me. He's deep throat. He's deep throat. Wow, I'm sorry, just trying to do my job. Hi, I'm Rick Jackson. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Hey, it's deep throat.
Hi, Deep Throat. I got you. Is my voice altered? Yes, your voice is altered. I have no idea who you are. So? I'm saying so? Would a Tattletail come back and tell you that he told the engineers? Yes. When my brother used to tattle on me, he used to do that. He used to come back and be like, I just told mom and you're going to be in trouble. Just said, hey, let the engineers know and they weren't happy. You wanted to be right, Jay. You wanted to be able to say, I told you, man! Rules are put out there for a reason. Did he tell on you about buying all those toners and cartridges and stuff that you need for that printer? Yeah.
Did he tell on you for that? No, LLB. He didn't. He didn't because we don't do it because we're not ordering through the company. Yeah. Which would have all been handled, Rebecca. No, I ordered the toner cartridges. After we ran out of ink. Yes. In the printer. Yeah, but I ordered them with my money. But we used to have people who automatically ordered through the company for the printer that was given to us because it was on an order sheet. Printer gate. Printer gate. Yeah, it wouldn't be. Wouldn't be. It would be. But I would be in the same boat you're sitting in. Jeremy. Right. Honest cap. If you came in and you saw that printer, would it have freaked you out? It would have raised a flag. Like what? What would the flag be? Where did that come from? Okay. Like one eyebrow would have. Okay, an eyebrow would have. The questions in my mind would have been, hmm, where would that come from? All right, who paid for that?
Have that conversation. Have that conversation. Let's have the conversation. You walk in. Yes. You just walked in. Hey, Mike. What's that? It's a color printer. Did we get that for you? No, sir. I didn't want to have to put the company out. I didn't want to have to have any, you know, you guys spend any money. Well, you know, you could have talked to JR. He might have been able to get you a color printer without having to, you know, buy it yourself. Yeah, but the deal is, is that. You know, we're kind of like, you know, we're trying to cut corners around here. But still, you know, it's a work thing. If it breaks, then instead of putting you out for, you know, $500, we just get it fixed. We get a new one. We have replacements. We have warranties. We have things like that. We have policies within the company that will take care of that for you. And plus, you know, I imagine color printer, that ink's kind of expensive. I mean, it's like, you know, 50 bucks a cartridge. You get three cartridges in that thing plus an extra black. So you're looking at. Oh, that's a lot of money. Yes. Well, you know, we also have a bulk discount for ink, too. So if you run out, then we actually pay less to get it replaced because we do it all together. Fine. And score another one for Jay. It's hard being me. Should I go back to my office now? Oh, man. Love you, Jeremy. Thank you. Unless you want to take a look at the printer. No, that's not my responsibility. He just skates through. I know. Hey. He just skates through.
Just trying to make sure we do things. Mike, they love me on the internet, too. No, they love me. Gosh, darn it, man. Want to hear my tattletale story? Yes. Oh, my gosh. So I get this job, and it's physician recruiting, and I was in the marketing side. So my job was to sell hospitals our service and physicians' offices. So I was a newbie. I was a rookie. So they sent me out on the road, my first road trip, with a senior guy. His name was Troy. And Troy and I go out to Colorado, and we've got all these appointments lined up. And by the end of the trip, Troy's kind of losing steam. And he goes, hey, I've got to talk to my wife. Can you go run this meeting? And I'd never run a meeting in my life. I'd only sat in three or four. And I barely knew the product. So I go into this doctor's office and run this meeting. Get back to the office in Dallas. And my senior guy goes, hey, how'd your trip go? And I go, oh, it was good. I go, I actually got to run a meeting. And it was needle off the record. He goes, excuse me. And I go, yeah, I ran a meeting with an endocrinologist or something. And he goes, why the F did you run a meeting? And right then I knew. Was your heart pounding? My heart was pounding. I started to sweat. And I go, and then here's the back pedal. Well, no. I mean, like, I don't know. He got to like, dude. Hang on, Woods. Hang on. He leaves. See him over at my boss's desk. The big boss. Talking. And then, all right, Woods, we'll talk to you about this later. Troy, can you step in here for a minute?
Oh, gosh. Bring Troy in. They fired him. Oh, my. They fired him. Wow. That day. Holy cow. I got his territory. Oh, boy. I then took over his territory. I was beyond mortified. I mean, I cost this dude his job. That's a tattletale. That is not a tattletale. Did you sleep at night after that? No. I was freaking. I was like, oh, dude, what did I do? What did I do? My big mouth. How come Jay didn't tell me that I needed to let everybody know about the toaster oven that he uses every single day that I bought? And the Keurig. Yeah. It's not in the studio. He doesn't care about that stuff. It doesn't link up to, like, our system. Neither does that. But it's a power issue. It links up to our network, Wyatt. The studio is totally separate than this room out here, guys. I've made that very clear to you. Okay, now, does that... Ah! Ah! He made guilt laugh! He did guilt laugh! No, no, no. He did guilt laugh! No, it's a totally different room. It is a fire hazard, though. It's not. You should probably let them know. Probably let them know, at least, because that's your bit. He warms stuff up in that toaster every day. Sometimes for you, because you pull the thing out of it. Twice.
Twice. He didn't have to say anything about that, though, did he? No. He didn't say anything about that, though. Didn't turn that into anybody. No. He liked it when I tattled to you, Mikey, about things that are going on and need to be done. You've admitted that, Jay. Thank you. Hey, now, that is true. I love it when Jay tells me stuff. Mm-hmm. That's weak. But you do. Hey, listen. It's part of the thing. If you're a good employee, you come and say, hey, Mac, would... Went into the bathroom, and he asked me, and don't tell him I told him, he asked me if, he said he got drunk last night, couldn't do his... Not true. He couldn't write a bit. I wrote it. Not true. And he asked me if I would write it. I said, sure, fine. But I'm telling you, that's what he did. Oh, and by the way, by the way, I saw LLB post at midnight last night.
I would never say that. Her show went great. That stuff won't hurt anybody. So, Mike, she was out doing a comedy show on a Wednesday. On a Wednesday, Mike. Can you believe that girl? I can't believe it. I mean, she really has a set of rocks on her, doesn't she, Mike? But don't tell her I told you. Yeah, don't tell her I told you. Hey, L.O.B., how are you? How you doing, girl? Hey, all right, I'll be right there. She is something else, isn't she? She's hungover. Look at her. You can tell. You can tell. She's probably drinking vodka all night long. See you later. Hey, Mike. Just real quick. He's going to tell you that he came up with a bunch of ideas. He didn't come up with one idea for today's. Hey, Woods. Hi, Woods. You are a monster. What's she doing? I have never done any of this above said thing. Let me slap you in the nuts. You know what would be easier? If you just tell me when you want me to lie. Just tell me. How did you lie? How did you lie? Well, if I didn't tell him, I've been... Lying by omission. Oh boy, with that bitch. Lying by omission. Yeah, but if you want me to lie, hey, I got no problem lying. He was asked by them, please let us know if anything goes on. Allegedly. If you need anything. Allegedly. Just like you were. How dare he? I just need to know that that's what I'm doing now. I may have a guilty conscience. Really?
Anything that you won't say in front of the... It's much like backstabbing. Yeah. If you won't say it in front of the person... Yeah, Jay, you're like a backstab. No, no, no. Was this stuff you did at the other station? Because that would explain... Why do you lie? Liar. Wait, what? Ouch, ouch, ouch. That was deep. That cut deep. That cut deep and hard and long. Personal attack. Personal attack. And something that you're very sensitive about. Well, personal attacks. Hello? Is this Jay? Yeah. Hey, all right. Sean, I couldn't stand your fat butt. Program. Program director. Were you lying to her, Mike? I'm screaming. Yeah. How about it? It's like Eddie and. Yeah. Cry. Smash me. Do you listen right? Hey, good morning, Mike. Hi, Jay. What's your date today?
16th. Oh, you only got a month left to your anniversary. December 17th. Day that lifts. I typically like to celebrate that day because, you know, after working with you for two years now, oftentimes I'll just text Eddie and say, I get it. Two years since Mike has let go from his old station. I get it. So, hey, anyway, happy... Happy anniversary. We'll see you later, bud. But, Jay. Yeah, Mike. Hey, Mike. What? Didn't you get fired for some sort of scandal back in the day? Oh, my gosh. That was ten years ago. I read about it on Wikipedia. Ten years ago. I was a shock jock back then. Oh, you seem to have changed a lot. Well, I have, actually. I have changed a lot. Yeah. How about you change it? What's that name of that bracelet charity you got going on? Oh, gosh. It's Be Different. You should just change it to Be Convenient. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Whatever Be Convenient for you, Mike. No! I'm going to go back to Be Perfect. Thank you, Jake. Oh, my gosh.
This guy will get you. Yeah, he will. M1 Sanjaya. Oh, here comes me. Hello, Jay. Look, I'm going to need you to lie more often. Look, man, all these printers have fallen off a truck, and I got a really good deal on them, man. So I have tried to find a way to make the station pay me back. Hey, I don't turn that in as a receipt. And all the toner. I make it at home. Now, that I didn't do. I didn't turn in any receipts. That would be something Jay would do. Oh, yeah. In a heartbeat. Hey, I bought a song this morning for one of your bits, and it was 99 cents. How do I get a receipt off iTunes? Deer stone tablet. Today, I got one step closer to the Jay show.
The way you endear yourself to management is turn in the Mexicans. My only problem, should I call it the J-A-Y show or just shorten it to the letter J? I'm trying to figure out what'll look better up in lines. From a t-shirt that I'll have and get for free and then wear over and over again for 17 years. Of course, I'll buy the t-shirts, then turn in the receipt. For more. For more than it actually costs. I can't decide if I'd even hire Mike at any capacity on the Jay Show. Maybe I could...
Have him run my errands. Get my coffee. Get my coffee. Be my gardener. Be my gardener. Roll me burritos. Yeah. God, that dude can roll a burrito. Well, I mean, I've never actually seen him, but common sense. Dude, eat a burrito. Common sense tells me. Common sense tells me that some bitch can roll a burrito. I mean, I don't have to be brain scientist. Yeah, man. I'm going to get you when this microphone turns off. I know you are. For what I can't say on the air. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club and Kim. Delta Spirit and the Blackout Party. Tickets are on sale now. Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM949. This is the FM949 concert calendar.
What's up there, sparkly uvula? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like They Might Be Giants at the Belly Up Thursday night. And you can see Bob Mould at the Casbah also Thursday night. Friday night, Bob's going to do a DJ set, kind of a late night thing, at the Cow's Spa, too. Saturday night, Kim Lentz and the Jaguars at the Griffin. Sunday, strung out with Jughead's Revenge at the Belly Up. Morrissey plays Escondido Center for the Arts on the 22nd. The Blackheart Procession hit the Cow's Spa December 2nd. And December 3rd, it's the FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny with My Morning Jacket. Two-Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, Delta Spirit, and the Blackout Party. And still to come, Lee's... Scratch Perry, The Boxer Rebellion, Dinosaur Jr. with Henry Rollins, Pinback, Two Nights of No Effects, Wilco, Not a Surf, and Young the Giant. So there you have it. Get out there and... For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. His snow globe gets 24 inches of fresh powder annually. Regardless of temperature, you can never see his breath.
His turducken consists of a duck inside a chicken, inside a turkey, back inside the original duck. He has never relied on mistletoe. His New Year's resolutions would blow your mind. That's why he doesn't tell anyone. He is the reason those nine ladies are dancing. One should never shake his gifts. Just trust me on this one. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. Hey, gang. It's your old pals. It's Woodsy. And R.O.B. L.O.B. Laura. Hey, listen. We want to tell you guys about Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center because L.O.B. and I both sit here looking out the window with 2015 vision. I actually can see a nickel about a mile away. Me too. Over there.
I heard it was 2016. Now, went up one notch. You didn't tell anybody. No, it didn't, Jay. It's still 20. It's still 2015. Which means that even an atom detector can't even read that. Thanks for tattling on us, Jay. But no, that's actually 2015. And listen, it's getting to that time of year where if you have a flex spending account, you've got some flex dollars left over. Now is the time to get LASIK, right, LLB? Yeah, and here's a thought. Black Friday's coming up. Hello, baby. Oh, wow. The day after Thanksgiving, most people have off, and Dr. Sandy T. Feldman does her surgeries on Fridays. So you should get in for a consultation right away, and maybe you can be having surgery as soon as Black Friday. That's right. And the way to get a free consultation is call them, 858-452-3937. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. They are going to make you feel totally at ease and make you realize that... Why the heck did I wait so long to get my eyes looked at? Right, LLB? Yes, and tell them that The Mikey Show sent you and don't wait. Yeah, give them a call. 858-452-3937.
It's Magenta Saturday at T-Mobile, where you can beat the Black Friday crowds and get amazing deals on every smartphone in the store. Wait, did you say every smartphone? Yes, every smartphone. What about the new Samsung Galaxy S2? Yep, like I said, every smartphone is on sale, and you only pay $49.99 toward that new Samsung Galaxy S2. Okay, how about those new HTC smartphones, like the Amaze and Radar Windows phone? Yes and yes, T-Mobile's great selection of the latest Android, Windows, and BlackBerry smartphones are all on sale for one day only this Saturday. Oh yeah? What about... Yep, the G-Slate tablet is on sale, too. Even T-Mobile's 4G hotspot. Okay, you just blew my mind. T-Mobile's Magenta Saturday one-day event. Our newest, fastest smartphones, tablets, and more are on sale. Even the latest 4G smartphones. Hurry into your T-Mobile store this Saturday, November 19th to get great deals on our best 4G devices. Qualifying plan, new two-year contract, and mail-in rebate card required. Galaxy S2 is $20 per month for 20 months after down payment. 0% APR and approved credit at participating stores. Jerome's Price Protection is a great alternative to financing. It's just like layaway. Simply choose the furniture you want, choose monthly payments you can afford, and Jerome's will lock in the price for one full year with no interest or fees, even if the price of the furniture goes up.
And if the factory rolls back the price, we'll lock in the new lower price. Jerome's Price Protection. Just like layaway, there's no approval process and everyone can do it. Price Protection, only at Jerome's. Target's Holiday Toy Sale has great deals on all the gifts that'll make your kids squeal with joy Christmas morning. And with our price matching policy and over $200 in savings in our in-store coupon book, you'll be able to fill up your sleigh with more Lego sets and Disney princesses than you ever thought possible. And don't forget, Target's also got awesome deals on toys from Nerf, Barbie, Fisher-Price, and more at prices that will make even you squeal with joy. Now through November 23rd only. Target. Expect more. Pay less. Channel 4, San Diego. Your home for Aztecs football. Catch super sophomore Ronnie Hillman and record-setting quarterback Ryan Lindley as they set their sights on the Mountain West Championship. Don't miss a minute of live gridiron action as the Aztecs battle Boise State, 5 p.m. Saturday on Channel 4, San Diego. Everything Aztecs, everything Chargers. The Saquon Casino postgame show, weeknights at 10 on Channel 4, San Diego. That's the sound of a fuse.
Burning. As long as it's burning, there's still time to get to the BMW Mission to Drive sales event on now at your local BMW center. While you can, take advantage of an up to $2,500 credit toward a new BMW. Hmm, those are real sparks. Test drive any model from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. Technologically advanced and fuel-efficient, every BMW earns the title... The ultimate driving machine. That fuse is burning down remarkably fast. Take advantage of this immediately, as the $2,500 credit will soon self-destruct. There. I made it with two inches of fuse to spare. Don't cut it that close. Coming today. Hurry into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event today for an up to $2,500 credit towards a new 2012 BMW. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Want an easy way to donate to charity? Like 1-800-GET-THIN on Facebook and they will donate $1 to the Susan G. Komen for the cure Los Angeles County. With your support, we will meet our goal and donate $10,000 to help find a cure for breast cancer. Like 1-800-GET-THIN on Facebook now and you're supporting Susan G. Komen.
For the Cure Los Angeles. Cricket Wireless presents Obvious Life Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take friends. You can go with whatever. Dude, can I move in until I get a live? Or the best ever. Take my car. It's too red and too fast for the likes of me. And when it comes to wireless plans, will it be unlimited dullness or unlimited funness with Cricket? Right now, get nationwide unlimited talk, text, and data on the latest Android-powered smartphones for just $55 a month. Download your favorite apps and games like Facebook, Shazam, and Angry Birds for one low rate. And there's no contract. The choice just makes itself. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for planned data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Want to switch wireless companies but don't want to lose your number? Hurry and bring your number with you to your nearest cricket store and get an Android-powered smartphone starting at $39.99 while supplies last. You'll get a better phone, but it'll still be you. Offer in soon, so hurry in today.
On the 8 westbound before the 5-in accident, that middle lane's block, CHP, is on the scene. The 15 southbound at the 8, we've got some delays. And as you travel on the 163 southbound at Washington Street, some pretty slow traffic right now. This report brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. Every dollar goes further with Navy Federal's cash rewards, credit card, get cash back. With every purchase to get started, visit NavyFederal.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh my god! And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. Please use the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40, it's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. They sell it at pizza parlors. How's that? They sell it at pizza parlors. What is that? They sell it at the pizza parlors. What is a pizza? They sell it at the pizza parlors. What is a pizza? They sell it at the pizza parlors. I heard you. They sell it at the pizza parlors. What's that commandment that we all need to live our life by? Yeah, Mike. Thou shalt not kill. Doesn't it say that thou shalt not kill? No, it doesn't.
It's German. Peanutity. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. I guess it's irreverent. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Sadies. Tim Conway. Don Knox. Flick. You deserve it. Oysters. Oh, do I. What was it? Aston Kutcher. What was the little thing that come in a shell? Oysters. What? Oysters. Yeah, that's exactly what they are. Oysters. I don't hear it. Oh, dang it. Montana. A flea flicker. I saw a lot of Mikey's coin. Coin slot at the Mikeython. Field gold kicker. Ben Rothensbergen. And there's Marty Shuttenheimer. I got that right. Video game for the Nintendo.
Yeah, I bet she backs out. He's like, well, see, I showed you. At the end, he goes, see, I showed you. See? Listen, listen. Yeah, I bet she backs out. He's like, well, see, I showed you. See? That's the best part of it. See, I told you. Oh, my goodness. Do you realize if we get silent after Jay says something, he'll just keep going and digging deeper. We have to realize. He keeps digging. Well, at least I have honesty to fall back on. Do. You. It's true, Jay. Integrity as well. Yeah, it's integrity. Oh, how dare. Morals, values, scruples. All that good stuff. Yeah. Thank you, Lauren. You're welcome. It's a reveler. Let's see. Did you know that Walmart is going to move Black Friday to Thanksgiving night? Oh, wow. I think it's going to upset people. I think people enjoy the process.
I think they like the people that are in on Black Friday, L.O.B. She just calls it Friday. She just calls it Friday. They like the process of it. Yeah. You wake up. Well, I've never done it, but you wake up early. Like 1 a.m.? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, what's the difference really then? I mean, they're opening at midnight? Yeah, but I think people dig that whole thing. Going down there and waiting in line and camping out and all that stuff. I would never go out on Black Friday, ever. Me neither. I would rather go out on the day after than the night of Thanksgiving. You're all full, tired, drunk. Yeah, you sit by 6 o'clock on Thanksgiving night. I mean, I guess if that's what you're into, then, you know, have at it. Yeah. Leave it to Walmart. 570-1949. And I'm sure that's going to... upset a lot of people anyway because it's walmart and people there's you get that a little bit i don't get it you don't no i don't get it i don't understand i have a documentary for you oh boy i've seen it happen to my parents you guys go to target what's that you guys go to target a completely different company okay and they're good to their employees what you go to big grocery stores you get all your fruit in a field no no
They grow their own. I've seen what goes on. My mom's small town. There's a Walmart. They came in, built a big box store. They got all these tax breaks for five years by being inside the city limits. So the city gives them all these tax breaks for the first five years. They come in. They keep all their prices low, and they run all the moms and pops out of business. So then at the end of five years, they move outside the city limits so the town gets zero taxes out of them. They move just right out, and they leave this giant empty building. Behind. Isn't that the city's fault for giving them those tax breaks? Well, that's how they get them in there. It's like they think they're going to get all this free taxes. In that case, then, if you didn't want them there, don't let them build there and don't give them those tax breaks. And it's not like people don't know the secret now. I mean, as a consumer, you're like, well, I want to pay the least amount for... Things. I mean, that's not a crime. In exchange for your soul. Yeah. I'm not giving my soul because I'm going to Walmart to get a pack of T-shirts. Thank you. You know where they get all their stuff, right? Where? Everything comes from China. Okay. I bet you the shirt you're wearing from Taiwan. A hundred. I'm just saying. Let me see it. You want me to take it off? I bet you it is. I'll bet you it's from Taiwan. What's wrong with Taiwan? Nothing. But he's saying it shouldn't come from China. You can buy American. Isn't that what you say was about cars? Yeah. You buy American?
Well, buy American, buddy. I have one of each. I have one of each. I've never understood the Walmart thing. I haven't either. I honestly never have. I'm from Texas. They're everywhere. We can all watch. There's a documentary out there. I forget what it's called. We can all watch it together. But there's a documentary on everything. You could watch a documentary making anything look terrible. I haven't seen one on Target. How about this? How about the fact that Michael Moore, he makes all these documentaries. He was on the news railing about the 1%. Right. And he's in the 1%. He's in the 1%. He did business specifically with Walmart, and he told me that you don't want to do business with them. You don't want to. Well, that may be different than me needing a package of T-shirts and walking into Walmart and getting them. And me, I'm not even a price guy. I'm a convenience guy. Yeah. And if it's there, I'll go. And I'm not going to not go there because of some documentary. We have choices. Right, but I'm not selling my soul. I choose not, aren't you? And I'm going to Target.
I'm going to Target. I'm going to big grocery stores. Yeah. Am I putting the mom and pop fruit stand out of business? I don't know. If there's powers that be out there, I'd rather side with good versus possible evil. See, I don't see it. I don't see him as evil. M1 Chris from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, Mikey? How you doing? Good. I'm still actually getting over that whole two hours of Jade. Me too. And the hostile takeover coming up. I know it. I know it. Because you know, Mike, December 17th is coming up. That's right. Big day around here. That's right. Sorry, all joking aside, back to Walmart. You know, I was just going to say that, really, if you took everything that wasn't made in China out of Walmart, you'd have, like, what, two CDs from the Oak Ridge Boys? Yep. I mean, I think there should be a little bit of balance. And I'm with Jay on this one that I don't like that whole issue. I mean, they come in and they do that, and it does suck the mom-and-pop shop. Well, I mean, Jay drives a Toyota. Well, I mean, it's...
So why is it okay for one and not okay for the other? If you're going to be so hardcore about one, why not support American cars? I mean, that's my bid. Be consistent. You're going to rail against Walmart, but you're going to not buy a Ford. Well, that's just another reason to wear a be-convenient wristband. I guess. And I'm not being a jerk. I'm asking, honestly, because... Before I moved here, I didn't know the Walmart beef. I had no idea. Yeah. Where I come from, they have injected life and jobs into towns, like small towns where our lake house is in Texas. Dude, that town's nothing without that Walmart. Hey, Woodsy, my buddy lives in Dallas, Fort Worth. There's no Walmarts out there? Oh, no, there's Walmarts. Okay, I just didn't know. I've never been out to visit. Oh, I didn't know the whole beef with Walmart, like, until I moved here. I had no idea. Well, and, you know, it's kind of, I mean, I see both sides of it. Like, you kind of the one-stop shopping mentality. You know, people don't want to go to five different stores to get what they need. And then that's how Walmart kind of capitalizes on that. Yeah, I think I see what Woods is saying, though, because I think that what you're trying to say, Woods, is that the same people that are going to get mad about it, they're doing something that's in the same category. Right. M1 Barb from La Mesa. Hi, I just wanted to say that I've worked both at Target and at Walmart.
Walmart pays better. The benefits are better. There you go. Target may look better, but behind the scenes, there's not any better than Walmart. They get all this stuff from overseas also, so it's no different. It's just a nicer-looking store. Thank you. I just don't do a lot of shopping. My wife does it. Is Walmart... Really that inexpensive? And I'll tell you, the place I used to go in Dallas was right off the main highway downtown. They built like a Walmart. It was for food. And dude, not only was the quality of food freaking good, it was cheap. Really? Yes. And see, that's the thing. Why is Walmart so... Why you turn your nose up at Walmart? That, and is it real super cheap? It's guaranteed lowest prices. Oh. I mean, but what does that mean? That you can buy a brand new DVD for $4? No, it'll beat out any other major competitor you can find. Yeah, if it's $11 at other stores, it's $10.
$10.99 or something. $10.49. I mean, I like to think I'm pretty fair and balanced. I mean, there's a fruit stand by my house. I frequent that place for fruit, vegetables. Do you do it for political reasons? Not for political reasons. Me either. You know why? Because I'm like, oh, I'm by the fruit stand. I want to get some fruit. We should do a thing where we get an air horn. And when people are doing stuff, we're like... You can't do that. I just, you know, for me, it's a little bit hypocritical, I think. For sure. Because we all do, you know, we all do stuff. We all want to be altruistic, but being 100% altruistic is a tough thing to do. Yeah. I think. Oh, man. In the movie An Inconvenient Truth, here's Al Gore railing against global warming. Right. Talking about. how global warming is impacting the world. He's driving around in a BMW. And flying in a private plane. Yes. Leonardo DiCaprio drives a Prius, and that's badass. Yeah. But he owns a plane. He walks it and talks it. We also had read at one point that it was discovered that Al Gore had a one-month power bill. Because he has this sprawling estate in Tennessee.
And one month's power bill was $12,000. That's crazy. And so he said, well, I didn't know about this and I'm going to do something about it. Good. Now that I know, I'm going to do something about it. Really? You didn't know you had a $12,000 power bill? Yeah. Wow. You know, but I tell you what, yell at everybody about what we should be doing. M1 Rick from San Diego. Hey, I think it's less about Target versus Walmart and more about... Having stuff made in China at the expense of the human rights of the people who have to make it. Every time I go to buy something from China that says made in China, I can't help but think, God, these people are making like nothing. And I feel bad for them. Don't feel bad. Let me tell you why you shouldn't feel bad. Because fast forward the tape. I've told my wife, it wouldn't surprise me at all if within 100 years time we're speaking Chinese. Because that is a country that is on the move. We're borrowing money from China. Yeah. We're borrowing so much money from China. That country right now is going through an incredible revolution. Well, oftentimes, though, the people making the clothes are not in the best condition. Right. And they're like six years old. AKA six-year-olds in sweatshops. Well, that country is...
Growing by leaps and bounds. I mean, it's one thing to say, I'm not going to shop at Walmart because all their stuff is made in China. Better take a look at your own closet. Better take a look at the spoons you buy, the glasses that you buy. And if you are really that guy and you grow your own fruit and vegetables and you slaughter your own chickens, more power to you, man. You are walking the walk. But is it trendy to hate Walmart? I think it's trendy. I think it's a trendy thing. It sounds cool. It sounds like you care and then people view you as being altruistic. I don't think globalism is necessarily a bad thing. Mine's not necessarily the made-in-China thing because, like Wood said, I'd have to take a look at everything. Yeah, me too. To me, it's just some of the stuff I've heard about the company. And it's not convenient for me to go to a Walmart. I don't even know where one is. Yeah, but that's so much here. And your situation is different, too, because your situation is so specific to a story from somebody you know. Yes.
For somebody like me, I don't have that. That's why I'm not on a soapbox telling people that do it and are wrong. For my personal choice, I'll err on the side of believing what I heard and not thinking about it. It's probably true. They're talking about putting one in North County, unfortunately, at the old Expo. I didn't know they didn't have one. I live in North County. Wait, they don't have a Walmart in North County? There's one in the Vista area. Yeah, Oceanside-ish. But the old Expo building, that's where they're going to put it. That's what they're talking about putting it. Everybody's fighting it. Really? Right across from REI. People just fight stuff? People ever fight stuff? It's right behind my house. I'm stoked. Fight it. Make that a bowling alley. Why fight it? I don't want it. Why? There's a Target right across the street. Why do you need it? Nobody fought that. The Target's already there, though. Walmart's going to be cheaper. What's wrong with cheaper prices? There's already a big gaping hole next to Target where there was a Bed Bath & Beyond or something like that. I just don't know why we've got to be upset about a freaking place that gives us good price. Right. At what cost? That's what you've got to look at. At a cheaper cost. How are they doing it? I don't know. I think the documentary is called The High Cost of Low Prices. Yes, exactly. M1 Amondo from San Diego. Hi. Hi, go ahead. Yeah, I actually have been to all these third world countries and seen all these sweatshops with my own eyes.
Just want to say that they are the best jobs in those countries. People don't, there aren't kids there. There are actual working people. They get the best benefits. They have schools in the factories there. This kind of thing, it just blows me away. Because this guy, he has seen it for himself. He's been there. What we do, though, as Americans, is we like to get all uptight and be like, Oh, it's children working in sweatshops. Even though we don't even know. They did. They uncovered that with Gap and with Nike. Apparently, those are the exception, not the rule. Maybe. Maybe that's what it is. I know that's not the best job. I used to work for a company that had an outsourcing firm in China, and it was in Beijing. And those are the jobs that people are going after, the high-tech software type stuff. Yeah.
But I think what this guy's point is it's not as bad as we make it out. Yeah, maybe not. We like to turn, we like to villainize, especially lately. What I feel like lately has been the trend is people that have gotten ahead are bad. Yes. People that have gotten ahead are bad. Yes. Not always. It feels like that's the temperature of the country right now. Yeah, that's true. The temperature of the country is if you've done well, you're a bad person. We talked on a break today about... I had gotten an email, and I won't share who, but there was a lady down by the Occupy movement that had to shut her doors on her small business. So get this. You're occupying because of big, bad corporations. Yet because of your actions, a lady had to shut her doors for her mom-and-pop shop. Why? Is something because of vandalism, damage, things have been thrown through her window from these occupiers who are actually hurting? In this case, this specific case, a small mom-and-pop business. Kind of counterproductive, no? Kind of doesn't make sense. It absolutely is. And here's the other deal. I've seen photographs of dudes that look like stoners, and their bit is, it needs to be more fair. Everybody should be making the same amount. And it's like, hey, bro.
Why don't you get a job? Or move to a communist country. Or move to a communist country. It must be really easy for you to sit out there all day long and just smoke pot and be like, we should all make the same money. You shouldn't make a lot of money and it should be more equal. For what? You're not doing anything. You're just sitting there. You now feel guilty for getting ahead. Yeah, man. I mean, what happened to the American dream? Just do it the right way. Don't lie about printers and don't... Just do it. That's right. Take the high road. She's killing me. She's getting me so bad today. Take the high road to get there. Take the high road, Mikey. Beconvenient.org That's something Mikey started. Couldn't get BeDifferent.com because as soon as Jay heard that I was going to call it Be Different, he went and bought all the websites. With every variation of Be Different you could possibly think of. .tv, .mil, .edu. 570-1949 is our number. We got some good stuff coming up for you, too. Have I? Yes.
And able to do two overnights, you may qualify for a clinical research study. That number again is 1-866-245-4719. 1-866-245-4719. It is the season for holiday travel. Lucky for you, it's also time for the Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep Big Finish event, where you'll get 0% APR financing on all Dodge models, like the Durango with best-in-class power and the Journey with an available 8.4-inch touchscreen. So no matter which Dodge vehicle you choose, you'll get to your holiday destination with your sanity in check. During the Big Finish event, lease the 2012 Dodge Challenger SXT for $278 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees, tax title and license extra. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally Financial. Not all buyers will qualify. Excludes SRT8 and AVP packages. 2012 Wards Vehicle Segmentation. EPA Estimated Fuel Economy Rear Wheel Drive with available 8-speed transmission. Call 1-888-4Dodge for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally.
Residency restrictions apply. Must take retail delivery by 1130. Ram, Dodge, Chrysler, and Jeep are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. It's Jerome's 57th anniversary. And to celebrate, I've designed an all-new anniversary mattress that's unbeatable with premium features like pocketed springs, perimeter foam encasement, luxurious four-way stretch fabric, and a comfortable European pillow top with layers of premium Ecoflex plush foam. And at my Jerry's price of $599, it's a value you won't find anywhere else. Imagine, a queen-size pocket is framed mattress for just $5.99. Buy it online right now at jeromes.com. Welcome to REI. Can I help you? I'll be doing some trail running this winter, and I'll need a... REI Air Flight Quarter Zip Hoodie. Definitely, and some... Smartwell Cozy Gloves. Thank you. I am so unbelievably excited you don't even know. Garmin 4Runner with a heart monitor. You do know. We know what you need because we know what you love. Come to the REI Winter Sale Friday the 18th through the 28th and save up to 30% on select outdoor winter gear and clothing. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center, Encinitas in San Diego, or shop REI.com. Oh, I hate to get up in the morning. And now back to the Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. Mikey. I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm a lyricist.
And Jay. Hey, I like the skateboard. On FM 94.9. Friday, we are going to be getting a lot of food together for the hungry here in San Diego. And the way that we're going to do it is Dave and Buster's, we're asking people to bring canned food down. Everybody that does is going to get a $10 gift card. to Dave and Buster's. And also, the person that brings the most cans is going to get a real cool prize pack that will include four tickets, signed memorabilia, and a limo ride to the FM 94.9 Hootenanny. Thanks to FestQuest. You can find them at FestQuest.com. Also,
Thank you to Randall down at Dave & Buster's because we're also going to be giving the winner $500 in a party at Dave & Buster's. A $500 party at Dave & Buster's. I believe it's Randall White. Thank you, Randall. Mr. White. Mr. White. Thank you, Mr. White. So show us your cans, San Diego. That's right. I want to squeeze them. It's called show us your cans. Show them to us. And bring some down. Show us your hands. Mike, you realize how much that sounds like boobs? It's a cinnamon for boobs. So NBC got an interview with Jerry Sandusky. CBS got an interview with Mike McQuarrie. And here's some of it. Do you have any idea when you think you might be ready to? To talk. This process has to play out. I just don't have anything else to say. Okay. And then just one last thing. Just describe your emotions right now. What do you think? I'm upbeat. I'm upbeat. I'm feeling good. I'm excited about the holidays. Yeah. Energized. Hopeful. Refreshed. Refreshed. Stoked. Well slept. Pensive. Yeah, well rested. Yes. Very pensive. Horny.
Horny is all good. As you could believe. I mean, it's just incredible. Voracious. Yeah, my appetite for sex is voracious. Insatiable, actually. Insatiable. Lower place just kind of shaking. Crazy? Crazy. And you said what? Like a... Snow globe. Like a snow globe. Yes, sir. Exhilarated is how I feel right now. Bonarific. Yeah, it's as if I just won the Super Bowl. By the way... Adam from our promotions department wants me to make sure to mention that Fest Quest is spelled. It's Fest Quest with a Q. But I thought that that's how you spelled Quest. No? Q-U-E-S-T? No? Oh, no. He just wrote back again and said, sorry about that. I meant Fest Quest with a W. Okay. So it's Q-W-E-S-T. That makes sense. His mind must be elsewhere.
Either on the beaches of Normandy, from Call of Duty with Jay, or... Geometry. For the ping pong tournament. It's modern warfare. I'm sorry, modern warfare. He lost yesterday. He lost yesterday. So they're in like in the streets of L.A. and stuff. Oh, really? Yeah, he lost yesterday. Thanks to Sports Chalet, the table tennis table that provided us. For preparing Jay and Adam. By us and Jay and Adam. Jay leaves it open and I hit my hip on it every day. Yes, I have a lot of big hips. Hey, also, Mike, I just want to thank Jerome's Furniture for the lovely bedroom set that Kim and I have been enjoying. Also, thank you to Jim Bob's Toyota for my new Tundra that I'm really enjoying. And thank you to, hold on, Stater Brothers for the best ground beef there is to enjoy. Why? I would like to also thank Bob's Boat Shack. Get in the water. Get some. I would also like to thank...
Penelope's Pinball. We're for the best pinball machines in North County. I'd like to thank Kitty College Education Center for setting up a college fund for Jasper. Sorry, a college fund for my son Jasper. I'd also like to thank the gentleman that stopped me outside of my last appearance and handed me those marijuana cigarettes. Keep them coming. On the house. I would like to thank my parents for my genetics. Jay, we have content we have to get to in the show. Well, I just got a couple more people to thank. I'd like to thank Fidelity Insurance for that beautiful, how does it pronounce? Inequity. Inequity. I'd like to thank Gold Bond Medicated Powder for keeping me dry and comfortable. Why?
My balls are drier. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. San Diego, Kearney Mesa Subaru is under renovation and has to reduce inventory to make more room. So come in now and save during their construction sale. Lease a new 2011 Super Enforcer 2.5X automatic for just $169 per month plus tax. Your friends will love the look of your hot new ride and how little you paid. At just $169 per month, it includes cruise control, keyless entry, and power windows. Combine that with high MPGs and low APRs and you could save big. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection.
Plus, we're San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. And we're centrally located on Convoy Street in Kearney Mesa. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru construction sale going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego. Or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. A Sunrow dealership. 2011 Forrester lease model BFBs for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter and 6,650 due at least signing. No security deposit unapproved above average credit. When at this payment, FIN 783438. Number one claim based on 2010 Subaru sales. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy, and bear with me for a sec. Oh, mamacita. Christmas come early, boys and girls. Guess what I just opened? I just opened my new Ovation Men's Max Pack. That is right. It is for men as well. My wife, Jamie, was turned on to Ovation a while ago. Her hair looks fantastic. It looks better than it's ever looked. So I wanted to get in on the action. I've been using it. Now I've got the Men's Max Pack. So I'm going to be using it. If you're looking for a special stocking stuffer to give to a good friend, a lover, a buddy, get them Ovation. It's Ovation Cell Therapy. Beautiful, healthy hair. Thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. Here's what you've got to do. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. That's right. Go to OvationHair.com.
And enter FM 94.9 at checkout. It's Magenta Saturday at T-Mobile, where you can beat the Black Friday crowds and get amazing deals on every smartphone in the store. Wait, did you say every smartphone? Yes, every smartphone. What about the new Samsung Galaxy S2? Yep, like I said, every smartphone is on sale. And you only pay $49.99 toward that new Samsung Galaxy S2. Okay, how about those new HTC smartphones, like the Amaze and Radar Windows phone? Yes and yes. T-Mobile's great selection of the latest Android, Windows, and BlackBerry smartphones are all on sale for one. T-Mobile's Magenta Saturday one-day event. Our newest, fastest smartphones, tablets, and more are on sale. Even the latest 4G smartphones. Hurry into your T-Mobile store this Saturday, November 19th to get great deals on our best 4G devices. Qualifying plan, new two-year contract, and mail-in rebate card required. Galaxy S2 is $20 per month for 20 months after down payment. 0% APR and approved credit at participating stores. This holiday season, give your loved one the gift that keeps on giving. Giving off alert signals. Like those in the 2012 E-Class with an attention assist system that can actually help alert drivers if it detects signs of drowsiness. Come into the Mercedes-Benz Winter Event now and get the Mercedes-Benz you've always dreamed of for a price you never dreamed possible.
Now get the 2012 E350 Sport Sedan, part of the Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car category, for just 1.9% APR for 37 to 66 months, or a lease price of only $599 a month for 30 months with $4,369 due at signing. But hurry, offers ends soon. The Mercedes-Benz Winter Event. May all your holiday wishes. Come true. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through November 30, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hone Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. You hear that? That's $1.99. But what else could $1.99 sound like? At Burger King, a little like this. That's the lip-smacking sound of the Western Barbecue Cheeseburger topped with barbecue sauce and onion rings. This is good. Ah, the tasty melody of the mushroom and Swiss burger. And finally, the palate-pleasing play of the deluxe cheeseburger with tangy special sauce. $1.99 sounds better with the BK Toppers Burgers. More beef, more value. Only at Burger King. Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. From my rock star daughter to my soccer star son.
Every California family is made up of strong Californians. And to keep mine California strong, I choose Yoplait. Only Yoplait Original has twice the calcium of the leading yogurt. And Yoplait Greek has twice the protein of regular yogurts. So why would this California mom choose anything else? Head to your local Vons store today and find your favorite flavors of Yoplait yogurt in light, original, and Greek varieties. Vons, ingredients for life. His snow globe gets 24 inches of fresh powder annually, regardless of temperature. You can never see his breath. His turducken consists of a duck inside a chicken, inside a turkey, back inside the original duck. He has never relied on mistletoe. His New Year's resolutions would blow your mind. That's why he doesn't tell anyone. He is the reason those nine ladies are dancing. One should never shake his gifts. Just trust me on this one. He is the most interesting man in the world.
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. Don't wait for Black Friday. BMW Encinitas is bringing Black Friday to you. Shop now to get great deals on every new BMW in stock. Like a new 2011 BMW 328i for only $229 a month. That's right, a 328i. for only $229 a month. Fully equipped with leather, alloy wheels, and much more. And all month long. Receive a complimentary dinner for two at the Coronado Firehouse with every test drive. Only at BMW Encinitas. On Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com. BMW Encinitas. Now you can.
24 month lease, $49.95 to at least inception, $0 security deposit, 10K miles per year, 20 cents per excess mile, with approved above average credit. Limit one dinner per household. Must finance with BMW Financial Services. Offer expires end of month. Win four tickets to Jerome's best seat in the house at the Holiday Hootenanny. Sit in style on a Jerome's double reclining glider loveseat while enjoying the show. Go to FM949SD.com for details. Jerome's Furniture, where Jerry's price is the absolute lowest price. Buy it today and have it in your home tonight. San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. How's that hit you? Makes me want to make love. Too. Makes me want to direct a video. Makes me want to make a video to it. It makes me want to smoke cigarettes, even though I don't smoke. Drink some whiskey, maybe? So sexy. In a loft, looking out over the city. Just look out the window while it's raining. Yeah. It's raining in the cities. It's at night. What went wrong? Ooh, yeah. I like... I love the what went wrong for you. I like glass with raindrops in there. Not even drops. It's almost pouring down like it's raining so hard. It's like buckets coming over the window. I see...
A back window of a car, and there's raindrops hitting us, driving us in the countryside. Very cloudy. I see the country. I see the city. I see the city with this song. I see city, and I see, like, filthy. Like, I'd have heavy mascara under my eyes. Maybe, like, a shirt where you could, like, see through it a little bit. And it's a little wet because you're out in the rain. Yeah. I can see a little nipple. No. Yeah, not like, no, protrusion of nipple. Yeah. Through the wet shirt. No. Like Jessica Biel in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Right. And you hear the clink of the bottle of scotch hit the glass, you know? No. And then at the end, she drops the glass and it smashes. It shatters. And you see the, like, slow-mo of the shattering. And she picks up the glass and starts cutting herself. Yeah. No. And then she just starts, like, treating herself right there. Right there. Wow. Mikey is in his coffin. That was one of the grossest things I've ever seen. Woods is a monster. Stop it. That was, like, disgusting.
Filthy disguster. Eileen Warner's called. Filthy. She's like, oh, that's pretty freaking filthy. That's so gross. That's all I want. I thought it was gross. That was anything but a treat. Pink was like, yo, man. Yo, man, that's dirty. I remember Pink talked. Hey, that was gross. Yeah. Fergie's like, you know what? Peed my pants. That was really gross. I beg. I beg. I beg you to never do that again. I beg you to never do that again. Something so beautiful. It used to come out of my eyes, you hear, Jay. Something so beautiful.
It can be really beautiful. Oh, God. Shut your mouth. Don't act like you don't think it. Fair enough. Just saying, nobody's ever asked to watch a guy. Yes, they have. Yeah, they have. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop it. LME, 100%. Hello, Miss Lady. Excuse me while I whip this out. Oh, gosh. Stop, stop, stop. Wow. Just trying to put the brakes on. It's hard. Like, I'm stomping on that. It's a subway train. And I'm like, oh, no, the brakes are broke. See an American Pie movie. God. All of a sudden. It got filthy. So, anywho. That's what happens when I'm in the room. Yeah. What goes on when I'm not in the room? You don't want to know. You don't want to know. Oh, my gosh. Holy smokes. Holy smokes. Help me, Oprah Winifred! So weird. Ooh, hot in here. Weird. I'm sorry, what? What a day. What a day. What a day. 5701949. Saw a great, great I Shouldn't Be Alive dude in Australia. He...
had a heart attack or not excuse me didn't have a heart attack he had heart surgery and it's about 12 months after the heart surgery he had to have the kind of heart surgery where they take veins from one part of your body and they graft them onto your heart because his heart wasn't pumping blood through his body but after the grafting it worked good and it's in australia and dude as a hobby goes out into the australian outback with a metal detector because he's Found an area where there's gold. And he does it with two friends. So they drive out and they know the area really well. He knows the area like the back of his hand. So he starts to go out and he's doing his little looking for the thing. And he finds a little gold nugget. And once he finds a gold nugget, now he's like, it's on. Because he found one. Where there's one, there's got to be more. Sure. Well, he knew the area so well he didn't take his GPS with him because he knows the area well. No reason to take the GPS. Of course not. And even if I don't know the area that well, one thing that I do know is the position of the sun. So I'm good to go. So he walks and walks and walks. And by the way, he's got to take daily heart meds. OK, so he walks and walks and suddenly realizes he turns around. He didn't see the car. He didn't see anything. And by now.
A bunch of clouds have come in and it's going to rain and he can't see the sun. Now, the smart thing to do is to stay put. You always stay put. But he doesn't stay put. He decides he knows what direction the car is. And by the way, he was like turning around in circles like he's turning around in circles. He doesn't know what's east, west, nothing. So he finally thinks he figures it out. He's walking away from the car. And he walks and he walks and he walks. And by the way, it's getting later and later and later. He finds a fence. Now, this is always a good sign in the outback when you find a fence. Because if you follow the fence, you will eventually end up at an aborigine settlement. Perfect. Where you'll at least be with human beings that can help you and blah, blah, blah. Feed you. Feed you. The only problem is he's got to make a choice.
Do I follow the fence left or right? So he makes the choice to follow it left. And he walks and he walks and he walks. And now it's nighttime and he's walking and he's walking and he's walking. And the fence ends. He should have just stayed put. The fence ends. Stops. Yes. Now it's getting cold. It's turning into nighttime. And so he has to leave the fence. Because he's got to find something. He's going to freeze to death if he stays at the fence. He's got to find something. And he can see in the little bit of light that's left that his eyes have adapted to that there's like some rocks and a little hill. So he climbs over to the rock, little hill, finds a little area that he can kind of get in. Temperature drops like crazy. He's hearing dingoes all night long. Dingoes are dogs. They're wild dogs. But they're ferocious.
Look at your baby. They like things that are smaller than them. Eat your baby. They like things that are smaller than them. That is a true fact. You're fine. So what they did was, by now, the search party's looking. I didn't know this. Some aborigines are like they drive and they got cars. I didn't know that. They're real human beings, man. Some of them got cell phones. Do they really? Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. They wear jeans and stuff? Some of them live in the city. I thought Aborigines were out in the middle of the outback. There's some tribes that are still out there that are still doing, but there's plenty of like... That are attorneys and stuff. I didn't know. It's like a race over there. All right. So they find some Aborigines that are good trackers and they're trying to find the guy. No, they can't. They can't find him because this guy stupidly has walked.
Way off course. So they sent an airplane up. Well, to this guy's delight, on day number three, he sees an airplane. He hasn't drank anything. Now, what happens when you start to dehydrate is your heart starts beating faster to keep your body circulation moving. And he sees that airplane. Oh, my gosh. It's like the greatest thing he's ever seen. Problem is that... Airplane didn't see him. Passed over him six, seven times and then flew away. So he had to resort to what you have to resort to. He had to drink his urine. He had to drink his urine. But he could only do that so many times because it starts to concentrate and he couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't do it. And so the dingoes, they don't have a problem with you usually because you're big.
And they're not, except when you're dying. Except when you're dying. And so this guy was at day number five. It was a miracle that he'd even stayed alive. And they finally picked up his tracks and they found him on the fifth day. And at the very end of the episode, they had actual pictures of the dude. In five days, he lost 30 pounds. We should do that, you and I. What a great diet. The Outback Diet. The Outback Diet. I've done the Outback Diet, but the other way. Outback Steakhouse. Yeah. Gone to the Outback. Gone to the Outback. And had onion rings. All right. Yeah. Hillary, what do you got coming up next? Well, I grabbed a band whose lead singer just announced he is creating his own record label. So that's pretty cool. I'll tell you about that. English Beat, Switchfoot, New Foster the People, some Jane's Addiction. And at noon at Desert Island Discs. That is going to be kind of interesting and rocking and sort of a weird combo. Here we go. Make sure you watch NBC7 San Diego throughout the rest of the day because we're also going to be on TV tonight at 4 o'clock. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. The Mikey Show will be back tomorrow morning at 6. Get it.