The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 11/17/11
Thursday, November 17, 2011
workplace bathroom etiquettepets and dog walkingfamily affectionrelationship boundariesskydiving survivalmarriage surnamessocial media insecurityembarrassing confessionspublic restroom behaviorfire drillradiocomedy
Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren and Jay turned workplace bathrooms, family affection, marriage surnames and social-media insecurity into arguments about privacy, loyalty and validation. Woodsy became the target of a recurring dog-voice bit when Beans accused him of neglecting seven years of walks, then accepted a bacon payoff. Mikey's most dramatic story followed Will Slattery from a spiraling skydiving plane into a jellyfish-filled Pacific survival ordeal, only to stop at a cliffhanger. Snooki's cat-litter facial, Lauren being caught watching Jersey Shore in the dark, Alyssa's tale of models using a bar sink and an on-air fire drill supplied the show's strangest comic moments.
What happened, in order
Snooki's cat-litter facial
Snooki said she used clean cat litter as a cheap facial exfoliant, prompting the hosts to recoil and recommend ordinary scrub or sand instead.
Woodsy's bathroom turf war
Woodsy argued that employees from other floors should stop using his floor's restroom, while Lauren and Mikey said stalls are communal and people often seek privacy away from coworkers.
The dogs confront Papi
After Jay described Bear getting stuck in a comical mid-hump at the park, Woodsy's dog Beans called in to expose that Woodsy had walked his seven dogs only once in years.
Should adults kiss family?
Lauren objected to adults kissing parents or siblings on the lips, while Mikey and Woodsy defended affectionate cheek kisses and challenged Jay to kiss his father at Thanksgiving.
Flashing friends debate
Lauren treated a girlfriend flashing her partner's friends as harmless fun, but Mikey and Woodsy called it trashy and argued it would change whether they saw her as marriage material.
Will Slattery's ocean nightmare
Mikey recounted how skydiver Will Slattery escaped a tumbling plane over Costa Rica, landed alone in the Pacific, endured jellyfish stings and feared an approaching predator before the show cut to a cliffhanger.
Beans orders Woodsy outside
Beans called Woodsy again to complain that he stayed home playing PlayStation, eating and napping instead of walking the dogs, then immediately softened when promised bacon.
The last-name fight
Lauren rejected the idea that marriage should force her to take a husband's surname and proposed choosing a new shared name, while Mikey insisted taking his name symbolized becoming one family.
Facebook is validation
Woodsy claimed every Facebook post seeks laughs, sympathy or validation, and the group ultimately agreed that even confident people are insecure about something.
Lauren caught in the dark
Lauren said Matt arrived early and caught her alone in a dark room watching Jersey Shore and secretly eating chocolate, which she treated as humiliating evidence that she might be depressed.
Models at the sink
Caller Alyssa described two glamorous Brazilian women urinating in a filthy Encinitas bar sink, leading the hosts to argue over whether beauty could overcome that behavior.
Fire drill on the air
A building fire drill trapped Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren and Jay in the studio under a flashing strobe, so they improvised jokes while waiting for permission to evacuate.
People mentioned
MikeyStephen R. WoodsLaurenJaySnookiBeansBearRebeccaMattWill SlatteryAlyssa
28,565 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Make sure you ride the double-ducker buses while you're here. Get to the Tower of London. Cheerio. Make sure you see Big Ben. Parliament. It's a really awesome thing to behold. Why are these fish and chips served in a newspaper? That's so weird. I'm wondering the same thing, but I have to admit that the chips are really good. How do you guys feel about the euro versus the pound? I don't like it because I don't like red money. Yeah, I don't mind it because I'm not insane. So there you go. Well, that was a shot and I'll take it. Mariah Yader is the girl that said that the Biebs knocked her up. She says, my baby's daddy is Justin Bieber. It happened when he was 16 and I was 20. Crazy. And I just want the whole world to know it. Well, Bieber says, that ain't true, girl. Yo, girl. I didn't knock you up. I ain't never knocked boots with that girl. And he said, and not only that, I'll take a paternity test. Yo, Biebs. Yeah. Why you sound like Michael Jackson?
What do you mean, man? You sound just like Michael Jackson. I ain't doing no Michael Jackson. You sound just like Michael, man. Look it, man. If I was doing Michael Jackson, I'd be talking like this. Well, you'd be talking like me. I am you. You ain't me. I'm me. I'm other you. You're other beefs. What's the matter with you, son? I'm other beefs. So here is Mariah Yader's new attorney because the old attorney quit when she dropped the case. Against Justin Bieber. Let's take a listen to him. I'm just kidding. Right now, there's no more interview. I'm not going to allow that. And secondly, negotiations are going on right now with... Chances that he got his lawyer certificate. What do you call it? The bar? Pass the bar. Online. Yeah. Bieber's counsel. And we're trying to negotiate a private... secure a DNA test with the same safeguards that would exist if there was a court order. So they still want to do a DNA test? Yes. Weird. So strange. What is that? I don't get it. It says that they can also refile the lawsuit within the next two days. But right now the hearing has been canceled completely. Maybe that's why the lawsuit was dropped because the attorneys quit. Yes. And now she'll refile a lawsuit with an attorney that will take her. Yes. Weird. Weird.
but without a court order, because the case is completely out of control, and I don't want something terrible to happen to my client or her child. That is so weird. Now, listen to this. What about the results? When you get the results of said test, what will you do with them? Oh, this internet connection, dude. Are you kidding? My goal is that when the DNA test is completed, which I believe it will be, My goal is to keep everything confidential so the results will remain confidential, which will be very difficult, if not impossible, based on all the media exposure. But that is my goal, to try and keep my client and her child out of the media. She was recently taking a walk in the park with her child, and somebody popped out of nowhere and started harassing her and videotaping her. And now I heard that videotape is online. I'm very, very concerned about this.
This matter is not over. Is he from Wisconsin? Chicago, I bet. That sounds like the guy I used to buy hot dogs from. It's probably the same guy. It might be the same guy. It could be. He could have gone online. Hey, Mr. Wood, you want a hat tag? Hat tag? He was studying for the bar. Yes, and he's selling hot dogs. At a bar. Yeah. Coincidentally. Let me get to two, please. Hey, okay. Yeah, no problem. No problem. If you want to play Smart Guy, call us, 570-1949. 570-1949. Now you're going to pick a person, place, or thing. You're going to get seven clues to be able to figure out what the person, place, or thing is. Jake was upset last time because he didn't get to play. And he always wants to play smart guy. Your little boy. Yeah. I'm going to have to explain it to him again. Sorry, buddy. It's for grown-ups, all right? 570-1949. We interrupt this broadcast to... Bring you breaking news. The breaking news is on Snooki. Many people want to know today whether or not she exfoliates, and if she does, what is it that she uses to exfoliate? Too bad our internet connection. You give some very strange beauty tips in here. In this book, you say that it's acceptable to use cat litter. Clean cat litter. Yes.
I thought that would go without saying. Just making sure. On your face. As what? As an exfoliant. Yeah, well, I definitely, I like to Google a lot and I don't like to spend a lot of money on like spa treatments just because I'm like a cheapo. So I Googled what else I could use that's like not so expensive and it was cat litter. Well, I don't understand. Perfect. I've never even heard of this. You take cat litter. And you just mush it up against your face? Do you stick your face in the box? It's some exfoliants. They have like rocks in them and it makes your skin like really smooth. And cat litter is like a substitute for that. Yeah, but isn't cat litter like a strong chemical of some kind? I mean, why don't you use any other kind of rock? I just can't believe this. Have you tried this yourself? Yeah. I mean, I haven't broke out at all yet, so. Well, I guess that's good enough for the FDA, you know? I think it'll work. Wow. That's the most hideous thing I've ever heard in my life. Stands to reason, doesn't it? You are a smelly pirate hooker. 100%. That's pretty filthy. Just try sand. Yeah. Get some apricot scrub real good in the store. It's like $3. I would know. 570-1949. St. Ives. I recommend it. M1, Sarah from Oceanside. Are you there? I'm here. All right. What would you like? Person, place, or thing?
All right. I should say we're playing for lunch for four at Rubio's. There you go. All right. So I am going to give you seven clues. And within seven clues, you got to come up with the answer. Okay. Are you ready? Ready. Here we go. I'm an animal. Tiger. Nope. Isolate. I'm a quick, skillful hunter. Cheetah. Nope. Humans despise me. Isolate. Panda? No. I can be trapped for my fur. No. One type of me is hunted for sport. If you don't even want to take a guess, you can always say pass, but you only get seven.
She got it. It's Fox. It is Fox. She did it in five guesses. Good job. I would have never guessed that. Smart guy. Hang on the line. Good job, smart guy. M1 Rick from Escondido. Are you there? Hi, I'm here. What would you like? Person, place, or thing? I want a thing. You got it. Thing is popular. It is popular. People like to try to guess a thing. All right, here we go. I'm a type of bird. A blue jay. Nope. I can be tame or wild. Nope. I am quite the social one. Parrot. No. A lot of people keep me as a pet. Parrot again. Nope. I have a loud cry. Oh, man. I am of the parrot family. What is that thing called? Toucan Sam. No, it is not a toucan, and this is your last guess. I'm a native to Australia.
A lot of people keep vultures for that. I'm sorry. It was a cockatoo. It was a cockatoo. Sorry, bro. Vulture. M1 Josh from Fallbrook. Are you there? Josh, what do you want? Person, place, or thing? I want person. Give me Phyllis Diller, dude. There you go. Wow. Here we go. Maybe Phyllis Diller. I'm an actor. Tom Cruise. Nope. I was born in Kentucky in 1963. Oh, let's go Billy Bob Thornton. Nope. That is incorrect. My last name means idiot in German slang. You can pass if you need to. Pass. I was in the movie Platoon. Matt Damon. Nope. Matt Damon. I was there the day River Phoenix died. Oh. You can pass if you want. Charlie Sheen. That is incorrect. Okay.
21 Jump Street. 21 Jump Street. Johnny Depp. That's it, buddy. You are a smart guy. Good job. Good job, buddy. Hang on the line, okay? See some Rubios. Got it. There you go. Feast on it. Feast. Okay. Woodsy, what do you want? You're just going to play. Okay. I want a thing. And let's have you play for M1 Josh. Hang on. Hang on, Josh. I'll have you play for... For one winner. All right, let's do a thing. All right, here you go. I'm found in the bathroom. Toilet paper. Nope. One of my first types contained the tallow of goats. It's incorrect. I come in many colors and varieties. A shower curtain. No. Every type of me has the same function. A towel. No. I can have...
A distinctive scent. Soap. Yes, smart guy. Yeah. Smart guy. I was certain you were going to know that earlier. My mind was focused on the toilet. As soon as I said I come in many colors and varieties, I was like, well, of course he's going to know. Because he actually has different varieties. He has like the seashell shaped ones. Yes. Like pink and blue. I was thinking the toilet cake. Oh, yeah. The toilet cake. Our minds were in the toilet. Weird. In the toilet. Woods has one of the coolest things. It's like a bring it with you toilet paper. Uh-huh. What's it called? It's just Charmin. They take the cardboard thing out and they wind it real tight. Travel size. Yeah, travel size. And dude. Travel Charmin. It's a lifesaver. You go on a trip, you're staying in a little crappy hotel. How about work? Yeah, work. How about you go to work? Yeah. It's good in a pinch. It is great in a pinch. Yeah, the toilet paper.
In this building? It's hideous. Yeah, it's the same stuff that they make spring rolls out of. Sandpaper. Yeah, not only is it really rough, it's way thin. You guys have a lot of experience with it. Oh, yeah, every day. That's true. L.O.B., everybody's got to use the... I use it for my nose. I blow my nose in there, L.O.B. Yeah. L.O.B. doesn't do that here. L.O.B. doesn't do that here. She doesn't do it. Yeah, she's never done it. She doesn't do that at all. Most girls do not do that at work. It's statistically proven that most girls. Stop to get it done. Yeah. Girls do not. Yeah. They can't concentrate. They can't do it. It's just literally a pain in the butt. Yes. Guys, on the other hand, we could care less. No shame. Any port in a storm. I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit. Woodsy has an issue with something concerning that. And I'm going to ask you, as you're listening, if you've ever had this concern. If you work in a building. Oh, yeah. Do you get upset if people from another department or another floor come to your department or your floor to use your bathroom? Now, I will ask first our female on the show, L.O.B., would it bother you if a woman from another floor used the restroom on our floor? No. I would assume she was just some sort of guest or something. Now.
What if you knew she worked here because she had on some sort of laminate and you knew it for a fact? Would it bother you? No. Me either. There's plenty of stalls to go around. Right. On your own floor. Yeah. Okay, now. What if they like our bathroom better? Happy birthday. They're the same. That's the move. You go so your own coworkers don't have to be in there. I don't have a problem with it. It makes me nuts. I go in. I need to do business. And, you know, some dude walks out and he's stunk up the thing. And I'm like, and then I look. I'm like, that's not even one of my guys. It's somebody from downstairs. Why are you so territorial? I am. I'm like, it's my, you know, go to your own floor. You should pee on it. I should. I do. You do. Well, here's the thing. I mean, there's been times where you go in there and the stalls are taken. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? One time, you and I, I had to go pee-pee, and I had to go down to another stall. LB hates when he says pee-pee. I'm sorry, I had to tinkle, and I had to go downstairs to the other thing. That's actually worse. I had to go downstairs to use theirs, but it was just for a quick number one. Yeah, but I don't think anybody would have faulted you if it hadn't been that. Don't come to my, it's my hood. You know what it is, Woodsy? I think that a lot of people would go, I've been in the same predicament.
Gosh darn, dude. No big deal. And they wreck shop in there, too. They wreck shop. It's not like they're quick in and out. They're wrecking shop. And they're leaving stuff that I don't want. It's so different. Like, in the girls' room, if you're going to do something like that, you better find a way to just muffle the sound or have no sound whatsoever or get in and out like a ninja. Like, it's a source of pride. Yes. You don't let people know that that's what you're doing. Right. Like, the guys just aren't shameful at all about it. And he's like, and in fact, if you were to come out of the stall and, like, say something to someone or even, like, point out that, like, can you believe that this person was doing that? He's like, your guy friends would be like, what's wrong with you? Yeah, what's wrong with you? Creep. I agree. M1 Crazy K from the South Bay. You there? Not too much. Go ahead. Hey, you guys are talking about the bathrooms, the offices and stuff like that? Yeah. I used to work on a printing press, and we had two sets of bathrooms, one in the warehouse and one in the sales office. And there was a boy's bathroom and a girl's bathroom, right? Hey, turn your radio down, bro. Turn your radio down. Sorry, I'm in the work truck. When I worked there, man, I was working in the office, so I'd go over to the girl's bathroom and use theirs. It's clean.
It had the candles in it. It had the soft double-ply tissue. Oh, yeah. That is, in my mind, there's nothing wrong with that. Sounds like an episode of The Office. Yeah, if there's no women in there. I mean, or like even working in the building. Well, there's going to be. There's going to be some women in there. Yeah, at some point. They never used that thing anyways, man. I was a hard worker. I had been as I had to do at the job site and in the ladies' bathroom. Hey, I get you. Hey, listen. I think that we, as people, we have our favorites. We have our favorite stalls. Oh, yeah. And if our favorite stall is taken, it bothers us. It used to be that the first stall was statistically the cleanest stall. Really? Because people would skip it, probably. And Oprah threw it out there that that was the cleanest one, and now I feel like it's the filthiest one. She's hard-hitting, isn't she? Yes. She did an investigative report. It sounded like this. This is in. Apparently, stall number one at most businesses is the cleanest. Two weeks later, it sounded like this. We have breaking news now on the state of toilets in America. As it turns out, since our announcement of a clean stall in stall number one, now stall number one is, in fact, the dirtiest of all of them. Excuse my French, everybody in America. Yeah.
I think we all have our favorites. 570-1949 is our number. Jay took his dog for a walk yesterday. And this is a funny story. I've never seen this happen, but it happened to Jay with his dog, Bear. What happened? A female dog showed up to the park. Yeah. And I don't know why this dog, super bear was like all in. He was like trying to do the dog thing. He was getting up and doing the humpy hump. My father like son. Yeah. And the female dog has nothing to do with it, so she ran away. And Bear was so caught up in the moment. He was walking every step. He would do a hump. He was still stuck in mid-hump. He was like, huh? Oh, wow. That is Jay's dog. Dogs humping is just funny. It is funny. Do your dogs do that when you walk them, Woods? When they're outside? No, when you take them for a walk. No, when you walk them and take them to like dog parks and stuff. I don't take them to dog parks. There's too many to look out for. But we did take them for a walk last weekend. No, no, no, when you walk them through the neighborhood. Yeah, we did that last week. They didn't do any of that.
Wait a minute. But normally. Okay, yeah. What about when you do it daily? I don't walk them daily, you a-holes. Okay. When you walk them once a week. Yeah, once a week. No, I don't even walk them once a week. They go in the backyard. Okay, once a month. Once a month? How'd this turn about coming around to me? I don't know why you're freaking out of me. I was just asking if you could relate to Jay Stewart. No. My dogs are all fixed. Okay. Hey, listen. So is mine. They don't hump. He still humps. He still wanna, you know. Yeah. Not mine. I'm fixed. You know bees and dogs can smell fear? They can also smell if you want to go for a walk. Well, you know, they're all brothers and sisters, so they're kind of like, they don't want to be incestual, but they probably still have the desire. They just don't get out. Absolutely. To meet other dogs. Ours aren't brothers and sisters, so. Kind of. No. They have the same parents. No, they don't. You guys, no? Yeah, but they're not our real children. Wow. Hey, papi. Hello. It's a senior bees. Hello, Beans. How are you doing? I'm fine. I'm calling in because I heard you tell a lie on the radio, and you said that you're never supposed to lie. What? What did I lie about? Oh, you were saying that you take me for a walk. I did last, the Sunday before last. Okay, but Billy said that taking a dog for a walk one time constitutes as taking dogs for a walk.
Yes, when somebody said, do you walk your dogs? Yes, I have walked my dogs. I walked them two Sundays ago. All of them. All I'm saying to you, Papi, is my legs, they haven't moved for a month. Why, when I walked you, did you slam on your brakes like you were on water skis and you didn't want to go any further? Because I was so confused of what you were trying to do. Because I had never done that before. You're probably tired from running around the backyard. You're probably tired from running around the backyard with your friends. Well, you know, if by running around in the backyard, you mean that little tiny backyard that we have. That giant backyard. The giant backyard. It's got to be at least an acre, right? Yeah, probably about half an acre. 50 by 50. My ass. About a half acre. You got about a half acre back there. That's crazy, Todd. We've got about a half acre. Yeah, back there. Hey, guys. I don't care if you're married or if you're not married. I'm going to ask you this question, and then I'm going to read the list to you. Woodsy, this is in no means meant to be an indictment on you or me. Five types of men.
You should not marry. I can see two of them right now. All right. Just do it. If you go to facebook.com slash Mikey show, you can vote in the R factor. They're trying to find San Diego's best morning radio show. And it's come down to M1s versus P1s. And so flex. Flex the muscle. Represent. Jay has been assigned our new news position. Come on, newsboy. Come on, newsboy. Okay. Chaz Bono, a.k.a. Stephen R. Woods, has already made a startling gender transformation, but apparently he isn't quite finished yet. While appearing on Howard Stern's XM Sirius radio show, the Dancing with the Stars alum revealed that he's considering traveling to Serbia to undergo additional surgery to help his body match his gender. Why Serbia?
They apparently have a surgeon over there. Yeah, Jay, why Serbia? They have a surgeon over there that's ready to make it happen. He's like super skilled in transgender operations. All right. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Got some Charger injury updates for you, but first wanted to let you know that sports is brought to you today by U31. It's North Park's favorite bar and grill. The Chargers are really banged up, and they have actually put Chris Dielman on the injury reserve for the rest of the year. He's out. He's not coming back. Offensive lineman Chris Dielman, which is... A big, big loss. They are a very patchwork offensive line right now. Sean Phillips is still in a protective boot. He's unlikely to play Sunday. Malcolm Floyd is sidelined. He's likely to miss his third straight game. Takeo Spikes had a concussion, but he's back. He came back to practice. And there's a few other guys that are banged up. Luis Castillo, Antonio Gray. Marcus Gilchrist and a bunch of Ryan Matthews still has a little bit of a hurt groin, but he's expected to play. That's what I'm saying, man. I think that groin injury is a nasty injury. It's nagging, dude. It's nagging. It's hard to make it go away. Okay, so any guy, it doesn't matter whether or not you're married or you're not married. It doesn't matter. Ask yourself this. Are you the type of guy that a chick should marry? These are the guys that they say, ladies,
Avoid him. The guy who hates his job. All right. It's one thing if he doesn't like his job and he's looking for something else. But if he's miserable and he doesn't have any drive to find something better, you're going to absorb all of it. And then you're going to be miserable, too. Goes for the ladies as well. Let's see. Don't saddle up with one of those ladies either. The guy. Who puts work first? Woodsy says, screw that. He just flicked us all off. Yeah, he did. Not you guys, this article. The article. Well, Woods is very big on, you know, his t-shirt right now says, work comes before Jamie. I don't understand that. It's his wife. I understand it because it's pretty clear. I mean, it's easy for me to understand what kind of guy he is. No, Woodsy said the other day. A hardworking guy that supports his family. Woodsy believes that if you...
Make your job first. You're actually supporting your family. You can still love your wife. I love my wife. She's one of the reasons I get out of bed every morning. That's right. You know she listens, right? I know. I know. Poor thing. Number three. Don't marry a guy that's obsessed with his mother. Don't do it. Dated it. You did? How was he obsessed with his mom? More than a mama's boy. Mama's boys are okay because it means, okay, that that's how they think women should be treated. Did he have a poster of his mom? No, he would just like talk about her all the time. Like she would come up in situations where, how did it get to that? That would weird me out. And sometimes be like, she's just the greatest lady. Like, I don't know. I mean, it's one thing if, I mean. Plenty of people have that admiration for their mom, but it would just come out of nowhere. And it would be discussed a lot. Yeah. And then some of the ways, I don't know, kissing on the lips, I don't know. I don't like it. Whoa. For real? Yeah. I don't like kissing on the lips with siblings or anyone that has the same bloodline as you. Well, maybe kids you can do. You know, you could do it with kids. To a certain age. What age? Rebecca does it with Jake. Yeah, it's fine. That's fine.
Yeah. 8 to 10? 28 is not fine. Is it, Woods? It's all right. You can kiss him on the cheek. Cough and cough and cough and cough. Not mouth, but like, you know, like next to the lips. Really? Like on the lips? Yeah, like next to the lips. Next to the lips. Next to the lips. No. Not on the lips. No. Not mouth parted, tongue out. I'd kiss my mom. Hey, listen. Isolate! I have to make this point. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. All I'm giving you is my family. No way, man. It's L-O-B-2. My dad and I kiss on the cheek. Yeah, I kiss my dad on the cheek. Yeah. All day long. On the cheek, yeah. You kiss your dad on the cheek all day long. If he was still alive. Well. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. Yeah, we kiss him. I'd do anything to kiss him. Mike. Thanks a lot. I'm sorry. Gosh darn it, I'd do anything to do that. I mean, we did it all the time. You did? Oh, yeah, on the cheek. Yeah. Love the old guy. You kiss your dad on the cheek, Whatsy? Of course. I love my dad. I do, too, but that's just not the dynamic. I don't think I've ever seen my brothers kiss my dad. They're Latino. Very machismo.
Well, we're white. We're Irish. I'm Irish, too. But I'm saying it doesn't happen in my family. No way. It doesn't mean it's right or wrong. Because you kiss your dad doesn't mean that you're a gay. No. Just FYI. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying. Your Mexicanness is what defines you. It's not even my Mexicanness. It's not even that. It's not anything to do with that. You should try it. Yeah, kiss your pops on the cheek. Kiss your pop on the cheek. Next time you see him, hey, pop, give him a hug. Kiss him on the cheek. Always on my dad. 570-1949. It gives me the skeeves. I want to know. I want to know what you think. 570-1949. Do you do that? Don't kiss your mom on the mouth. Not on the mouth. I kiss her like right here. Really? Yeah, like a side to side. Have you ever kissed any girlfriends on the cheek? Not girlfriends, but friends of like Rebecca? Like, hey, how you doing? Kiss them on the cheek? No. I kissed Rebecca on the cheek? Yeah. All the time. You do? Face cheek, right? Face cheek. Face cheek or the top of the head. Hey, how you doing? How you doing? I'm considering it. You've done that? Oh, yeah. I don't see it. Which makes it creepier. Oh, I haven't noticed. Woods does it to everybody. Yeah, he does. He's done it to me. I'll do it to Jay. You guys have actually touched Tom. Yeah, that's true. We've actually touched Tom. It's no big deal, really. Don't do it again. No, gross. Weird, Jim.
Oh, gosh. Darn it. Creepy Uncle Jay. Uncle Woods. The guy that doesn't want you to meet his friends is a guy that you should avoid. Bark Malman? No, he's all about... My friend Bark Malman is a notorious Lothario. Yes. And he wants you to meet his friends. He does. He changes girls like he changes underwear. That's a true statement. Yeah. Young girls. And he wants you to meet the friends? Yeah. Yeah. He wants them to be in on whatever he's in on. Do you want, if it's a girlfriend situation, do you want her to meet your friends? Oh, yeah. Totally. I guess for him, he knows they're not going to be sticking around. Right. So they might as well, even if he was in some sort of cult, he'd be like, yeah, meet them. They're not going to last very long. That's true. And then the last one is the guy that can't believe that you picked him, which is me. Oh, boy, you're not that guy. You're not him. Aren't. That guy's a P word. You're not a P word. Don't I always say that? No, I mean, we all like. I joke about it. But we've all, we all bat outside our batting average. Yeah. I mean, me, you, and Jay all hit way above our batting average. Yeah. I actually, see, I don't, what, LLB? I saw eyes. I want to know what those eyes meant. I don't know what those eyes meant. Were they saying, I have to know what they were saying? He was an insult to the both of you guys.
What do you mean? It means he doesn't find you or Jay to be attractive or worthy. I completely get that. No, that's not it. I'm saying our wives are far... Is that what you are saying to me and Jay? Our wives are far more attractive than we are. You know that. All our wives. But women are just more attractive than men anyway. That's true, Stacey. Yeah, I believe it. Tell that to Bradley Cooper. Yeah. The sexiest man alive. He is the sexiest man alive. Woods wants to kiss. He's a little angel. People Magazine have revealed him. Kathy Callout. Yeah, Kathy Callout. He said it. What, did a court of law here? Hey, you said it on the air. You also said it. I didn't say it on the air. Sorry, you said it on the air. I said I'd make out with Bradley Cooper. He's a sharp guy. You said it on the air. You wanted to make out with Johnny Depp. I would if I had to. If you had to. If you had to pick a guy. I am not gay. I never have been gay. We're not saying that you are. Steve Woods audio. We were looking up at the television yesterday, and this was off the air, and there was a picture of Bradley Cooper there. Woods was laying on the beanbag, and he looked up, and he goes, wow, that guy's sharp. I'd make out with that guy. You can now have a threesome. The thing is, if you were gay, it wouldn't be weird. The fact that you're straight is what makes it weird. No, I'm just saying he's a very attractive guy.
There was no part of it that I thought was weird. With that being said, it was weird when you said, look at those eyes. That was a little... You said the eyes, I thought. No, I never said anything about eyes. You said nice eyes. And then you said little angel. Little angel. Sometimes it's strange to call a man a little angel. The way you describe, like, Kristen Cavallari. Oh, yeah. She's a little angel. Julianne Hough. Yeah. What? Yeah. So he's in the same category for you. That's right. I would, never mind. M1, Mary from Pacific Beach. Hello. Hi. Okay, you're an adult child. It's a totally different kind of kiss. When you go to kiss someone normally, you go with your mouth sort of relaxed, you know, and you go into a make-out kiss, whatever. When you go as an adult kissing an adult child of yours, your lips are like cold. Still, still, still. It's weird. No, no, no. No. Yeah, it's a quick in and out. Bam. It's not for me. It's not for me. It's not for me.
Yeah, I think it's okay. I'm with you, Mary. You little angel. Mary, Mary. It's easy. It's easy. It's not. That would be very difficult for me to do. You kiss your dad on Thanksgiving on the cheek. You do it. You do it. It's not easy. It's not easy. I don't kiss my dad on the cheek. No, I'm telling you to. I'm telling you to. You kiss your dad on Thanksgiving. You give him a big kiss on the cheek. You're going to get sucker punched. Dad, I love you. No, he won't. Your dad will melt his heart. He'll melt his heart. Will he? He'll melt his heart. All right. He's melting mine. Say, I love you, Pop. What would happen if you did that, L-O-B? My dad? If you kissed your dad on the cheek. Oh, I see. I kissed my dad. I'm saying my two brothers. I don't think I've ever seen that happen. Yeah. If they did that, my dad would probably go, hey. I don't kiss my mom. No. She kisses me, though. She'll kiss my cheek. Every time I give her a hug, she kisses me on the cheek, which I don't think is weird because it's the cheek. Yeah. The lips. We're not talking tongue here. I know we're not. Don't make out with your mom. In my family, a lot of things that go on is the cheek-to-cheek, and the lips are actually not... They're just touching air. Yeah, it's like a... It's a fake kiss. You put your cheek against another person. Is it the Euro kiss? No, it's not that one. The Euro kiss is the double, and you're kissing the air. But your cheeks actually touch. It's like a... You kind of do it out of some sort of pleasantry, but you're not actually kissing. How would you feel about somebody that you just met doing a Euro kiss with you?
It's the worst. We'd never be friends. Yeah. I don't think that we'd be friends. I know that guy. He's the same guy that says ciao, and he's not from Italy. And cheers. Yeah. Oh, Felix Benucci. I saw the best bit yesterday. This guy will go to a Hooters, and he'll bet the waitress that he can chug a beer in two seconds. And if he does, she's going to kiss him on the cheek. What are you doing at Hooters? I saw a video of it. So this guy is amazing. He can chug a beer. A second. A second and a half. It's gone. And then he goes, right here. And right as she goes to kiss him, he turns his face quickly to her. And she kisses him right on the lips. That's called a creep. Every time it's called sexual assault. Pre-rape. It is the funniest video. That's not a good bit. It is the funniest video I've ever seen. Oh, that's weird. That's weird. I can't control my horny level. Does he get slapped? No. Every time the girl goes. Freaks. Because they're not supposed to be doing that. And then they report it. There's six girls. He's over to die. That's a little harsh. 570-1949. If you want to give us a call. Let's see. M1 Cat from Santee. Hi. I'm a kissy person and I'm married. Is this the cat that I know? Yes. She's like Woods. She's the female version of Woods. Yeah.
I've kissed Rebecca. I've kissed you. Yes. I've kissed before, too, at church, and I think I might have even kissed him. Oh, yeah. And that's her. She's just like Woods in that she's very, like, family. Very affectionate. You know, she's very, like, you know, she's like a family. Are you Italian? She's going to be that mom that's, like. I'm Italian, yeah. Yeah, maybe she come to the studio. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. See, I wish I was Italian, so maybe that's where I get it. Yeah, you watch a lot of Supras. I watch a lot of Italian stuff. Desperately wants to be. Would do anything. That's right. Erin. Thank you, Kat. We love you. She's very, very much like Woods in that it doesn't matter who you are. She could just meet you and she will give you the biggest hug. I love that. 570-194-9 is the number. Don't forget, the word of the day is kangaroo. At some point, I'm going to say that between now and 10. When I do, call her 9. You're going to get... 2011 holiday hootenanny tickets, and a pair of sunglasses from Spy Optics. Spy Optic. Spy Optic, dummy. God, Mike. You just add your ass wherever you want to. It ain't the studio. Throw your ass around, Mike. Dang. You can't throw your ass around, Mike. It's so stupid. Keep your ass to yourself. Would you like if somebody called it the Mikey's show? Come on, man.
We are going to be doing something. It's an app called the A-hole tester. Is it for real? It's a real app. Is that right? It's a real app. And the guys cannot take it. Right. It has to be the dude's woman. So Rebecca's going to take it. Jamie's going to take it. Kim's going to take it. And L.O.B. is going to take it on behalf of her man. Now, we'll do it today and we'll give you the results. We'll read you what the questions were, the whole bit. Who wins? Yeah, I know who's going to win that. Who do you think, Jay? His name starts with Woods. Really? See, I don't believe so. It's all in the perception. Keep that in mind. It comes from the significant other. So it's what their perception of the person is. I win. See, I don't think that we're a-holes, but we're technically...
Due to technicality. Technically, yes. I'm probably an a-hole. Well, yeah, to what most women would consider. But I balance it out with sweetness and gifts and whatnot. I'm sure that the test will represent that. I sure hope so. That will be for my sake. Maybe it will. We are sweet. When we want to be. Sure. When you need something. No. When you want dinner cooked. I love Rebecca a lot. Yeah. I love Jamie a lot. And I treat her... Not as much as Lincoln Financial Media, but... Yeah. You love her. Yeah. I love Lincoln Financial Media a lot because I love Jamie a lot. That's so romantic. What does that do for you? It's very romantic. I think every girl right now in her car almost drove off the road thinking... Yeah, you could do a lot worse than the kid, all right? Isolate. M1 Bethany from Oceanside. Jerry Sandusky would be worse than the kid. Ted Bundy. Let's see. Yep. I think it's time to officially call a moratorium on Jerry Sandusky references. No way. Why? That was painting him in a bad light. I know, but isn't it still a record scratching? Can't we demonize him? Why can't we? You could do whatever. I mean, he's your boy. I mean, I don't want to. I'm sorry I offended your boy. You're always sticking up for Jerry Sandusky. I know that you guys like to drink Arnold Palmer's together, but.
I feel like you might want to put that aside in light of the allegations. And your boy McQueary. You should cancel your Pennsylvania trip this year. Sometimes Sandusky jokes just aren't funny. When? Now, I would say, would constitute. Maybe not jokes that involve the victims. Right. But he's a clown. He is. All right. Well, we will be doing that test. We all have to download the app. Maybe we can put a survey on Facebook and have people guess who they think. I love it. Be the biggest. I will say that I will win that. It's going to be near you. Why even mention me? I mean, I don't even have to be an option and everyone knows. I guess if there's a question that says, how long can your man make love to you? I'm in good shape. Well, if there was a survey that said the best. most happiest wife in America, it'd be my wife. Well, now, don't forget that this is also for people that don't have husbands, you know, for people that just have boyfriends. Right. There could be a lot of questions on commitment there, so... Maybe Matt. Maybe Matt will turn up being the biggest a-hole. Wait a minute. Hang on a second. That is... Hang on. I'm just saying. Wait a minute, though. It could be anyone. But wait a second. Yes. He is committed to you. You are in a committed relationship.
You're in a committed relationship. Tell that to my bald ring finger. Whoa. I'm looking at your bald ring finger. You are in a committed relationship. You cannot date anybody else. Yeah, your boyfriend, girlfriend. Yeah, you can't date anybody else. Don't forget the word of the day is kangaroo. He doesn't talk about dating. I almost threw this text away. The only reason I didn't throw this text away is because I read it aloud and L.O.B. said she had no problem with it. And I went, are you being serious? And she said, absolutely. Wait until you hear what it is. And then ask yourself, really, would L.O.B. do that? We'll see.
Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9 One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. And Kim. Delta Spirit. And the Blackout Party tickets are on sale now.
Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or fm949sd.com. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optic. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM 94.9. Cricket Wireless presents Obvious Life Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take friends. You can go with whatever. Dude, can I move in until I get a live? Or the best ever. Take my car. It's too red and too fast for the likes of me. And when it comes to wireless plans, will it be unlimited dullness? Or unlimited funness with Cricket? Right now, get nationwide unlimited talk, text, and data on the latest Android-powered smartphones for just $55 a month. Download your favorite apps and games like Facebook, Shazam, and Angry Birds for one low rate. And there's no contract. The choice just makes itself. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for planned data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Want to switch wireless companies but don't want to lose your number? Hurry and bring your number with you to your nearest Cricket store and get an Android-powered smartphone starting at $39.99 while supplies last. You'll get a better phone, but it'll still be you. Offer ends soon, so hurry in today. So here's the deal. You want performance from a vehicle if you would like.
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car they do have the service patrol on the scene this report also brought to you by children's advil nothing brings your child's fever down faster it keeps it down longer choose children's advil relief you can trust i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 it's time for the fm 94.9 authentic surf report with the FM 94.9 authentic surf report, 40 Thursday morning brought to you by Guayaquil. Once again, pretty much flat out there. Very, very small little pulses to swell out of the northwest, and that's just about it. Looking at waves running that ankle knee high zone on average, maybe a waist high wave. My final longboard session here or there, the beach breaks, but overall pretty flat across the board. Clean conditions kind of go into waste as there is not much surf to be had. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for surfboard repair restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. Ask for the bird deal. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like be in my face and go,
Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Don't forget, the word of the day is kangaroo. The word of the day is kangaroo. And when I say it, I'm going to weave it into a sentence between now and 10. Caller 9. Give you a pair of spy sunglasses from Spy Optic. Also, we'll give you Hootenanny tickets. A pair of Hootenanny tickets. How stoked are you guys that White Time's back again? I'm dying right now. Eating on the air. Eating on the air, eating on the air. It's okay. Today, it's okay for you guys to eat on the air. Oh, it's so good. The reason that we do this is because it's one of those things. Like the other day, I was giving a recipe. I was giving a couple of recipes out on the air that I like to make.
Go-to recipes. So if I know about something that I really think is kind of a cool thing, we'll let you know. And one of them is this, what Wild Time does for Thanksgiving, which, by the way, Woodsy, you did it last year, right? Yeah, we sure did. So, Megan, thank you for coming back. Thanks for having me. And what they do is, okay, so you don't want to go through the whole rigmarole of Thanksgiving. And you just want to have it taken care of. That's what you do. Brilliant. That's what we do. It's brilliant. Now, my only thing is, is that it means that Megan's pretty busy on Thanksgiving because you've got to give up. Or do you do it the day before? So we offer delivery or pickup of the food. It's a package for 10 people the day before Thanksgiving. So it's all taken care of. It comes all wrapped up in tin foil so you can reheat everything. It includes the reheating instructions. Super easy. Don't have to worry about shopping or cooking or anything. So here's the deal. If you're listening and you're thinking to yourself, I'd rather watch the games. I'd rather watch the games than be dealing with it.
And I want to make sure that the dinner is really, really good. How about roasted garlic mashed potatoes? How about fresh cornbread stuffing? I don't know what they put in their stuffing. I think it might be crack cocaine. I think it might be crack cocaine. It's so good. And homemade cornbread. And homemade cornbread. Sweet potato casserole. What about something that my wife would go crazy about? The seasonal baby vegetable medley. Our wives. Our wives. Kill that. Just feasting on vegetables. This is the best vegetable Thanksgiving I've ever had. Cranberry orange compote. Homemade turkey gravy. Addison. Dinner rolls with butter. Addison. Pumpkin chocolate cheesecake. That looks... So good. That is the kicker. It's here. Oh my gosh. Caramel apple crunch dessert bars. Harvest spinach salad. Now, if you want, let's say, let's say that you were thinking, you know what? I want to go out to dinner and I'm going to go out to dinner.
on Thanksgiving night and what I'm going to order for my family. Now, take the bird out of it, all right? But for my family, I'm going to take them out to dinner and I'm going to order for them spinach salad, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, fresh cornbread with homemade cornbread in the stuffing, cornbread stuffing, sweet potato casserole, baby vegetables, cranberry orange compote, homemade turkey gravy, dinner rolls. Pumpkin chocolate cheesecake and an apple crunch and apple crunch bars. Caramel apple crunch bars. And you say to yourself, well, I wonder how much that would cost. For 10 people. For 10 people. That's four bills. Easy. They will do that for you. Not for four bills. Right. For $185. What? $185. That's great. Yep. Killer deal. We did the whole package last year. We got – and you can get the turkey. Or a ham. It's a little extra. We did the full turkey with all of this stuff. And we had leftovers. There was only – I think there was four or six of us. And, I mean, it's the greatest thing ever. I went and picked everything up, brought it home. My mom heated it up the next day, and we were good to go. It took 15 minutes. Sign me up for that. Well, what's better than Thanksgiving leftovers? Oh, I know. Nothing. It's like the greatest.
The greatest thing ever. So good. Please watch closely as I use my lips. Yeah, she's eating it. She's eating it. She's doing it real great. Thank you for saying that. I know. Everything. I'm actually very glad that you said that, so I appreciate it. I'm glad you said that. Thank you for saying that. Now, if you want to do this, go to thewildtimecompany.com. Thewildtimecompany.com. The only thing that's tricky about it is knowing if you're not a good speller like me sometimes. Knowing how to spell the word time. Like the spice. Yes. Like the herb, yeah. Like the herb. T-H-Y-M-E. Which, even though it's the herb I know me, I probably wouldn't spell it. I'd have to ask my wife, babe, how do you spell time? Thewildtimecompany.com. And it's real good. It's real good. Real good food. I bet you I have thirds today. Oh, yeah. Weird. You should. You have enough. Easily. Early Thanksgiving feast. That's right. They're donating. Did you already say they're donating 10% of all their sales? What's the deal? So we decided this year we want to partner with Rady.
And Rady Children's Hospital. We're going to donate 10% of the profits from any orders that we get from the Mikey Show. Oh, that's rad. To Autism Research. That is rad. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love it. Thank you so much. Yeah. You guys are so good. We're huge fans of the show. I love you. You know, in honor of Thanksgiving, we just want to give back a little. That's so cool. That just was so good. That made me very, very happy. You rocked my life. Thank you. All right. Well, thank you very much, Megan. I appreciate it. Thanks so much. Thank you. You're very welcome. Best stepping I've ever had. All right. So I want to tell you about this. You. Oh, my God. Leave me alone. I'm starving. Lay off me. I'm starving. All right, so I want to read this text to you. And the only reason that I'm doing this, like I said, the only reason I'm even doing this is because L.O.B., I was throwing it away. And L.O.B. goes, what? What's wrong with that? This guy texted and said, my girlfriend flashed my friends, dot, dot, dot. What the heck? And I was like, stupid.
And the reason I thought stupid is because, like, well, yeah, nobody does that. And if they did, they're a weirdo and you would get mad. And L.O.B. is like, what's the big deal about that? And I went, hmm, okay, maybe there is a discussion here. I had no idea. L.O.B., in what universe does a dude's girlfriend? It's just fun. Here's the thing. Okay, to cite. A very impactful, very wise show. Yes. Like the Jersey Shore. Right. There's an episode that I saw where Snooki is on stage dancing and basically brings her dress up like, yeah, and like flashes the whole club. Her boyfriend gets so mad that he leaves Italy. He had only been there for like less than 20 years. She flashed downstairs? Yes. Oh, that's hideous. But I've watched previous seasons where that's what she does. Okay. That's Snooki. Okay, but I'm just saying. You would never. I wouldn't do it because if I did it, they'd be like, why is Justin Bieber taking his shirt off? Oh, gosh, LLB. What's that dude doing? What is that kid doing? It's not even that hot in here. Oh, my God. Why is that guy wanting to look at his chest? Why is that long-haired dude? I hate when she says that. So I wouldn't personally do it.
But I've mooned people. I've mooned people. It's funny. I don't want my wife to do it, but my girlfriend? Yes. It's okay. Jay. Yes. You're telling me that when your wife, Kim, was your girlfriend, in what universe should I ever see your wife's breasts? Well, if you would have known my wife whenever I first met her. She had the smallest bikinis you had ever seen. That's one thing. That's a bikini. You see everything but. Oh, really? Everything but. Oh, really? Yes. Woods, under no circumstances, when you were dating your wife and she was your girlfriend... Why? You're proud of those. Yeah, they're mine. They're his. And you don't want anybody to say... Well, it's trashy. It's trashy. Well, and if you end up marrying that chick, you don't want your boys to know what they look like. What happens if you, like, sex with someone and, like, they forward it to their friends because they're proud of it? What? Oh, that happens all the time. What? What?
In what universe? Please. 2011. Yeah. It's the new thing. Dude, what dude is like, hey, check out my chick? Oh, what single guy? Every dude. Yeah. Every dude. I've seen a bunch. What? I've seen a bunch. Like, dude, check this out. And you're like, what? You've had your friends send you pictures of their girlfriends? Oh, yes. I learned that the hard way. That dude. I will. What? Nothing. I was just saying, don't do that. She said, I learned it the hard way. Because I was just going to say. That dude has no liking of that. He's got no future with that, Brian. Oh, yeah, and that's usually the case. Otherwise, why are you sending it? I had a buddy show another buddy. He's like, hey, man, look at this. And he hands him his phone, and it's his wife, and she got a new job, boob job. Yeah. And the guy turns to walk away, and the friend starts going through all the pictures, and the pictures on this guy's phone would blow your mind. And it's his own chick. Yeah, it's his own chick. Oh, no way. No way. No way. Oh, gosh. That's what they just said. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I'm ready now. I'm not. I am not in any way at all. Yeah. You know, I think if I was dating a girl and she did that, I'd be like, well, I guess you are a trash ball and I'll just sleep with you. I'm not going to marry you. Yes. It just depends on the context. If she was just doing it like in the heat of the moment. If she did it to be like.
funny or... Oh, no. She did it to be serious. But she might have just been in the heat like Snooki when Snooki was dancing. It wasn't to be funny. It was just to be like... Disgusting. Sexual. Repugnant. Yeah, to be sexual. She did it in that way. Well, I can't imagine... Well, I can't imagine a girl other than Snooki like trying to not be funny. They're like, look at this boobie. A skanky girl. Like, who's that chick that's like, seriously? And she's being serious. She's like, look at these. Oh, I've seen plenty of girls at the club. Now, wait, hold on. I gotta think, because I've seen it at concerts. Yeah. And I'm in on it at concerts. I don't know why, but I've seen it a bunch. It's funny. I've seen it a bunch. Let me tell you. I would definitely date. A hundred percent. Back in the day, I would definitely date. a girl that showed her boobs at a concert. In fact, I want to date that guy. Absolutely. Back in the day. I want to date. No question. I ain't ever get there. No, I'm not. Not now. If people at a concert are seeing those boobs, I ain't going to be with that shit. People calm down though. Yeah, what about a topless beach? Those are the girls. I don't go to those either. But wouldn't you? Those are the girls that you Humpty dance, but you don't bring home to mom. If I had boobs.
I would be using them for a comedic prop all the time. Hey, guys. Look at these. I would, because we get into these things where we're, like, one-upping each other with, like, shock value. I would be like, oh, my God! No! To show how excited I was. Why do you like liars? You would never. You're too modest. I'm modest because I'm not proud of anything. If I had those, I would be like, woo! Get your pride up. Are you in shock? Yes, very much. Because Ella B is very modest. I'm modest because you don't go and show off stuff that nobody cares to see. If I was packing, I'd be like... You don't think that's degrading to women? No. Everybody has them. He just winked at me. Listen to this. M1 Jim from San Diego. Are you there? Hi, good morning. Good morning. I was just going to say that... When about four years ago, my fiance and I went to a party with about 10 people, about five girls, five guys at a lake. And we wound up, everybody got hammered. Everybody wound up naked in the lake. Skinny dipping, completely naked. Oh, wow. And at first it was totally cool. And then both of us got so freaked out over it. It started these big fights about you were looking at her.
And I mean, at that point, how do you defend that and be like, no, I wasn't? Well, of course you were. Just be honest. Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy a car. That's right. Right. Well, we wound up breaking up over it. And we had the date and everything. That sucks. And then one more story real quick. I haven't learned my lesson because the other day I'm with my current girlfriend and I sent a picture of myself down there. You seldom. You seldom. In a certain state to her, and she showed it to our friend, who then I met the other day, and I totally felt like crawling under a rock. Woods just laid down on the beanbag and is in his coffin. You turkey. Oh my gosh. It's all in good fun. It is all in good fun. He sounds like a fun guy. No, no, no. Yeah, I wouldn't show that to my friends. Oh. She's probably proud of it. Oh, she is. Yeah. She tells me she is. But, like, dude, I didn't say show it to the neighborhood. Right. But guys do it. Did you get mad at her? Did you guys split up? Or are you still with her? No, no, no, no. Actually, I was kind of like, yeah, who's the man? Yeah, that's true. That is true. With the wiener, it's different if you're... It is not different. Yeah, because...
You can kind of see boobs. Like a wiener is hidden. And if you're proud of it, then you're like, show it to all your girlfriends. Have you seen my wiener? That is not. Yeah, I got you. I got you. I know what you're doing. I was proud of it. I just hope that someday it doesn't, ironically, because she showed it to her, it's still going to cause a problem for me. She's like. Oh, you know, my friend name changed Rachel to do, you know, Saw. Saw it. Now she's all jealous. But I'm like, you should. Maybe she wants to take it. Oh, gosh. Huge. Maybe you work that way into Little Minaj. Can I? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. I'm going to give you. How old are you, Jim? 38. 38? He's a cool creep. 38's not old. And L.O.B., you've got a boyfriend. You shouldn't be freaking out like that the way that you just did. That's longer than it's ever been. Lauren, I mean, come on with that stuff. I've tried everything. I don't care. I don't care what you've tried. The answer to you is yes. He didn't ask you, and he's got a girlfriend. Gigantic. Lauren, Lauren, that's so out of line. Oh, babe. Oh, my God. He's got her now. I guess.
So, I mean, Jim, all you had to do, apparently, is call and tell that story. And Lauren is apparently yours. Oh, my God. Lauren, stop it. I have a burning in my loins right now. That's enough. That's it. Your relationship with Matt is officially over. There is no doubt in my mind. There's room for another conductor on the train. Oh, my God. On the train, she said. Whatever that was. Get in line. Well, I'm speechless now. All aboard. Real quick. Real quick. You guys remember how I said that no matter what my wife and I hear in terms of a real crazy scary story, it always comes back to. Is it worse than the shark story? Right. I have one worse than the shark story. Oh, boy. I have one worse than the shark story. The shark story. Woods is hopping around here like a little kangaroo eating all the wild time food that was brought in today. Man. Real good. Don't forget, show us your cans. Booyah. Tomorrow, 9 to 1, we will be hanging out with you at Dave & Buster's.
And I want to meet you out there. So come on out. The person that brings the most canned food is going to get four tickets, a signed memorabilia, and a limo ride to the FM 94.9 Hootenanny. And Randall from Dave & Buster's is going to throw you a party, a $500 party at Dave & Buster's, to whoever brings the most food. Let's see. Jay, what is going on in the news? Looks like we have a contamination warning at the Silver Strand. It's a big... Wow. Jay is our new news guy. Here we go. It was his idea, and I love it. It may be his finest idea. It's a big sanitation system failure, and they lost like 200 gallons of sewage. Thank you, Jay.
Woods, what's going on in sports? The Jets and the Broncos will battle tonight on Thursday Night Football. Your boy Tim Tebow will be taking on the Jets who say, hey, all we've got to do to win this game is stop Tebow in the running game. So if you are doing the FM 94.9 pigskin pick-em with us, make sure to get that pick in today. Mike, who did you take tonight? Are we going to do our picks right now? No, but we have to do the one for tonight. It's in Denver. It's your boy Tebow. It's in Denver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, Arizona Diamondbacks manager Kurt Gibson was named the National League Manager of the Year. And what's his face? Joe Maddon from the Rays was named the AL Manager of the Year. Peace. 570-1949 is our number. We would like you to go to MikeyShow.com or you can go to Facebook.com slash MikeyShow and vote. It's between me and B-Rob in the R-Factor. Yep. It's come down to me and B-Rob. And so if you want to vote for me, go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show and place a vote. And by the way, I want to make sure that M1s know this. Be really cool. Like, I don't want anybody talking smack. Yeah. You know? Well, at least on our side.
On our side, I don't want anybody. I can't, you know, the truth is I can't control anybody. That's true. But, you know, I'm asking you, I don't want that to be the deal. I want it to be a friendly, you know, whatever. It isn't our contest. It's a gentleman's contest. It's a gentleman's contest. It's Fox's idea. And so, you know, that's the deal. And he's the, if I was going to lose to somebody. Yeah. B-Rob's the only guy I talk to, or the only guy that I have had any communication with. And I think he's a good dude. So there's no hard feelings. Show him what's up. Rock that vote. No, no, no. FM 949, that vote. Right. Thank you. So check this out. I've said before, I don't care what kind of survival story I hear. It doesn't matter.
I always say it doesn't matter what is the does it compare to the shark story. It was the story where the people got stranded out in the water and there was shark infested water in the whole thing. And I've always thought nothing will ever compare to that until I saw this yesterday. When a plane spirals out of control in a freak store, three friends must jump to save their lives. Once that door was open, I just jumped. Without knowing the fate of his friends, Will Slattery faces a terrifying ordeal. He battles strong currents, the threat of deadly sharks, and losing his mind. Very, very close. So I guess the only thing worse than being in the water, shark-infested water, would be being in shark-infested water that you got in because you jumped out of a crashing airplane.
How's that even possible? And you had a, so here's what happened. Oh my goodness. So, and I believe, because on the show it said Elsinore skydive. Oh yeah. So it may have even, you know of it? No, I know the one you're talking about because I see them skydiving up there all the time. I wonder if there's a Elsinore skydive because that's what it said. And I was like, I bet that's Lake Elsinore. Lake Elsinore. Gosh. So these guys, these three friends were in a skydiving club together and they decide, Well, we're going to go down to Costa Rica and we're going to get some skydiving in. They go down there. They're partying. They're drinking beers. They're having a great time. And the skies are beautiful there. It's one of the reasons that they love to jump. It's also extraordinarily green. I mean, parts of the movie Jurassic Park were filmed there because of the green, lush jungles and stuff. But imagine how gorgeous it would be.
Jumping out of an airplane and seeing nothing but crystal blue water and that lush green canopy that's stretching out and then landing on a white sand beach. Pretty nice. They thought so, too. So they all go. So they get up in the morning and the guy says, the guy that you just heard, Will, he says, I am really OCD about packing my parachute. I go over it once, twice, three times a lady. I got to make sure this thing is. Perfect. And he did. He checked it three, four, five times. So him and his two buddies get in what looks like a little prop like those Cessnas, you know, the stuff that you see guys jump out of. And it was a little bit cloudy, but they figured it doesn't matter because once we get above the cloud cover, we're going to be OK. So they start ascending. And as they're ascending, it's not stopping like they're they're.
enveloped in clouds and they're like doing this angle where they're climbing and they all said to each other how creepy that was because you usually break above the clouds and they weren't breaking above the clouds and they were like gosh this is weird and he says the number one thing that you got to know about skydiving you do not dive if you can't see you don't dive in clouds you don't dive in clouds Because you have to be able to see when you jump out. Otherwise, you're disoriented. So they decide because the cloud cover is so thick, we're not jumping. Cloud cover is too thick. So they turn the plane around. They're going to land. Soon as the plane turns around, they hit a little bit of turbulence. Then they hit a little bit more turbulence. And then they hit that turbulence that scares you. They hit that kind of turbulence where you go. oh man, this is not good turbulence. Even though you know your mind is playing a trick on you, you go, oh my gosh, this is a plane crash type turbulence. But you know that your mind is playing tricks on you, so you just chill out. The plane goes out of control because the turbulence gets so heavy. They're in clouds, and the plane starts to do flips. Oh no.
And it's a plane that is not supposed to do flips. They are hitting the ceiling and then the floor of the plane because it's turning. Luckily, they all had parachutes on. Only problem is the door is closed, which is no problem. It's easy to open the door. It's just hard to open the door when you're hitting the ceiling and the floor and the ceiling and the floor and the ceiling and the floor. I think you can figure out how that's not easy to do. But they leveled out to a point. At one point, the plane regained itself and they were able to fling the door open. And he said as soon as that door was open, they didn't care that they didn't know which direction they were in because the plane was spiraling into the ocean. So they all jumped. And they didn't know what altitude or anything. No idea. So they jump out.
They open their parachutes. The plane crashes into the ocean. But all three of these guys made it out of the plane. And so that guy that you heard talking, Will, finally breaks down under the cloud cover. And now he can see. And he looks over and he sees his buddy. And then he sees his other buddy. One of the buddies is drifting off away from them. The other buddy is pretty close. So he's calling out to that buddy trying to get his attention. And his buddy turns in the air and he realizes that his buddy is unconscious. Because he's probably hit himself coming out of the airplane. He probably hit himself. So he's unconscious. And he's hanging as the parachute is bringing him down. But he's going 40 miles an hour. There's nothing that's going to stop it once it hits the ocean. Because he's unconscious. So this guy.
Hits the ocean. And he hits hard. 40 miles an hour, man. And the first thing he's got to do is tear that thing off or it'll drown him. It'll drown him because it's going to fill the water. It'll drown him immediately. So he tears the thing off and he takes his shoes off and he takes his shirt off because he wants to try to swim in the direction that he saw his friend land. So he does. He's swimming. He's swimming. He's trying to get to his buddy. He can't find him. He can't find him. He's out there and he starts to look around and get his bearings about him. And he realizes that there is no land anywhere. He's in the middle of the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Costa Rica. And it's cloudy. So just get that visual of those ominous, cloudy skies. Your heart's already beating.
And you are in a pure state of shock because he looks over and he sees the tail of the aircraft sinking into the ocean. So imagine what your mind is doing. And now he's alone. And it's just quiet. Just absolutely quiet. No horizon. Nothing. And he thought to himself, this is not the United States. In the United States, they got a search thing out there. He knows. I'm in a different country. I can't expect for there to be a search party and people coming right away to save me. So he said the first thing that he had to get under control was his mind because he'd cut himself a little bit. A shark can smell blood from miles away. From miles away. And so he has got to remain calm. Or he knows that he'll kill himself just from a panic attack.
And he said he decided what he was going to do was he was going to lay on his back and just float, you know, because the sea was pretty calm. But if you picture a calm sea with big gray clouds and a guy bleeding in the ocean, it's just not good. So he gets his mind under control. Problem is he's also drinking a lot of seawater. And you can't drink seawater because it dehydrates you, but it also makes you crazy. So he's trying his best not to. By the way, he's not built like Jay. He's built more like me or Woods. So he floats. Yes. So it starts to get dark. And he's really trying to get his head together. He's like, okay, I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I just have to stay calm. And he said that there was a part of him that thought, if they're going to eat me, just eat me right now.
And put me out of my misery because this is he couldn't mentally. He was having a hard time. So as he's floating, he feels something sting his back. And then he feels something else sting his back and something else sting his back. And he's in a school of jellyfish that are absolutely all over him. They're everywhere. And he is crying, he said, and screaming. And now he starts to use up the last bit of energy that he has to sort of swim out of it. He's trying to swim out of it. But as he's doing this, he realizes he's swimming into it. He's upsetting him. And he's swimming deeper into a school of jellyfish. He's not escaping it. He's in it. He said it was the single most excruciating pain he's ever had.
It bleeds. Oh. It bleeds, and then salt water goes inside of it. Because he's in the ocean. And then, this. Sharks hunt at night, and do I splash around until a shark comes and eats me? It seemed a horror, it seemed... He couldn't, he couldn't talk. And then his worst fears become real. There is something in the water, and it's coming towards him. I saw something floating in the water. As it glides toward Will, he is helpless against whatever predator might be out to get him. I thought, oh, great. I'll get eaten and drowned at the same time. Oh, my gosh. Costa Rica, 3,000, they said, 3,000 miles away from home, in the middle of the ocean. Your friends are dead. So is the crew and the pilot. You just jumped out of a crashing airplane.
Now you're in the ocean, you've been attacked by jellyfish, and something is swimming towards you. Now, tomorrow at this time, I'm going to tell you what happened. You are a monster. You can't do that. The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is the FM concert calendar. What's up there, sparkly uvula? It's Hillary with some shows you need to go check out. Like They Might Be Giants at the Belly Up Thursday night. And you can see Bob Mould at the Casbah also Thursday night.
Friday night, Bob's going to do a DJ set, kind of a late-night thing, at the Cavs Bar, too. Saturday night, Kim Lenz and the Jaguars at the Griffin. Sunday, strung out with Jughead's Revenge at the Belly Up. Morrissey plays Escondido Center for the Arts on the 22nd. The Blackheart Procession hit the Cavs Bar December 2nd. And December 3rd, it's the FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny with My Morning Jacket. Two-Door Cinema Club, Matt and Kim, Delta Spirit. And the blackout party. And still to come, Lee Scratch Perry, The Boxer Rebellion, Dinosaur Jr. with Henry Rollins, Pinback, Two Nights of No Effects, Wilco, Not a Surf, and Young the Giant. So there you have it. Get out there and... For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Good day, drivers. As we speak, a world-renowned group of performance specialists are preparing to launch an event of epic proportions. Your mission, if you should choose to accept it, is to take full advantage of the situation. Codename the BMW Mission to Drive sales event. Once there, test drive any new BMW from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. For a short period of time, you'll have access to an up to $2,500 credit.
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You can go into an AT&T store or click on att.com slash free your TV. Geographic restrictions apply. Additional charge for wireless receiver. Price for your family TV. New customers. After six months, standard rates apply. Taxes and other charters apply. $36 TV activation fee. For details, go to att.com slash tv details. We know you've got a lot on your plate at Thanksgiving, which is why Vons has everything you need to get it all done. All for a great value. And this week, when you use Vons Club, save extra. Get an amazing price on your Thanksgiving turkey. Eight to 12-pound Safeway frozen turkeys are just $7 each with Vons Club. Limit one with an additional $25 purchase, while supplies last. Get a Vons favorite. Tender, juicy, rancher's reserve New York strip steak. Bone in is only $4.77 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. Five-pound bags of Satsuma mandarins are just $3.88 each. A gallon of pantry essentials or dairy glen milk is only $3.19 each. Selected varieties. Buy two 12-packs of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or 7-Up and get two of equal or lesser value free. Plus CRV in California. Selected varieties must buy four. Don't forget the snacks. Buy one bag of Lay's Classic or Lay's Kettle Chips and get one of equal or lesser value free. Selected sizes and varieties. Be grateful for all the good stuff. And get great values when you stock up on even more of it.
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May all your holiday wishes come true. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through November 30, 2011. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-Mercedes for offer details. See a Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hone Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. This report is brought to you by Chevron. Check this monster deal out. Get a monster taquito, any variety for just 99 cents through January 1st. Chevron extra mile, extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Well, you've got some backup on the 5 southbound La Jolla Village Drive due to an accident. Number two lanes blocked. The 163 southbound at Washington Street, an accident. It's blocking the center lane. And some delays here on the 56 westbound from Black Mountain Road to Carmel Valley Road. This report brought to you by Cox Business. Cox knows business. Providing solutions. for all your business communication needs, supported by a local Cox team. Cox knows business. Visit online at coxbusiness.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, get up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in the ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts and reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9.
And when Che from Fallbrook, what was the word of the day? That is correct, my friend. You just won yourself tickets to the Hootenanny and a pair of sunglasses from Sky Optic. Hang on the line. Hopefully I didn't upset people too bad with the cliffhanger thing. You didn't even tell us. Yeah. I don't know what happened. Yes. Making me insane. Tomorrow, I will give you the conclusion. I'll give you the conclusion. Hey, Papi. Oh, hi, Beans, again. Wow. I'm calling you again. Would this dog just have the hotline? It's my Yorkie. Maybe I do, LLB. I have it because I like to call. I want to talk to Papi, and I want to do it. I'm right here. I want to do it in a public forum. Okay. Because I feel that if I do, a better chance of it happening will take place. Accountability. Yes. What would you like?
I would like for you, Papi, if you could not stay home as much. What do you mean? Well, it just seems to me that you are always home, creating dynasties on the PlayStation. That's true. And you are also at home and you are eating. Yep, I have lunch when I come home, yes. Papi. And dinner. Yes. You're waiting between those. Yeah, you do. A nap in between those. Are we playing I'm Not Going to Tell the Truth? I'm Telling the Truth. Anyway, Papi, you deep snub, you come home, you play the PlayStation, you play the Deftones really loud. That's true. And I feel like me and my brother,
and scissors don't get to have time, you know, for us. Because you are home so much. What about when you guys go on walks? Isn't that like your special time? You know, it's funny you bring this up. I've been on one walk in seven years. Wow. That's not true. That is a hundred. That's not true. You should call it PETA or something. It's not true. What? I don't know what you're talking about. Not really since we moved here. We've had two big backyards. But back home we used to. And before we had seven dogs. We used to walk you guys a lot more. I want you to finally use the membership you have at the Y. No, I canceled that. What about your Choose Fitness membership? I still have Choose. Go back. I like to come home. I like to take care of you guys and treat yourself. I know. I know. I know. But maybe now that we got it out of our way, you don't have to be there as much because you're out of freaking time, puppy. I like to be home. I'm a homebody. You sure do. Maybe get a hobby. Yeah. I've got hobbies.
Well, yeah, I mean, but I don't think that staying home qualifies as well. I play baseball on a semi-pro men's team. Come on, don't be like this. What? When you come home today, will you bring me something? Yeah, I'll bring you something. What will you bring me? What do you want? I have to get a haircut first. The PHC, I know. Yeah, PHC, 130. What will you get me? Bacon. Oh, wow. Yep. Hit the right spot with that. Oh, Bobby, I love you. I love you, too. Oh, I love you. Bye. Little angel. He gets as excited as Mikey does about bacon. Almost as excited. Thank you, LLB. Driving the joke home. Bacon tastes good. Paul Chomps tastes good. Calm down, Mikey. Mikey, that's not me. I didn't just say that. Bacon tastes good. Paul Chomps tastes good. All right.
It's been some vega. Give me food. All right. Wow, relax. We just had some from Wilder's. Be glad for the food on your plate. I want tacos and burritos. Thanksgiving dinner here, not that kind of stuff. Translation, food. 570-194-9 is our number. Did you know that there is in the works? A law that may be passed that would require women to take their husband's last name if they get married. No way. People will have the opportunity to vote on it. I guess I just won't get married then if it gets passed. You probably won't have to worry about it. Oh, it just takes the air right out of the room, doesn't it? Yeah. Sucks it out. Sucks it out just like... It's like a backdraft. Yeah. It's like the movie Backdraft. It just takes all that oxygen right out of the room. Kurt Russell just walked in and opened the door. Ella B. Don't you think that a prospective husband would want you to change your last name? No, if I meet him, I'll ask him. Aren't you dating? He's a prospect. Yes. You would think that, you know. The subtle. Prospective would mean there'd be like, you know, like you think that that person would probably be the person that would marry you. But that's not necessarily my case. You are going to get married to him.
I probably will end up getting married someday. To him, I said. I'll probably end up getting married to someone someday. No, you will end up getting married. Your husband will be Matt Commerce. One day I'll be like that person where like at 55 they're like, we didn't think she could find love. And she finally did. He's sitting on the side of the bed with his hands on his knees and he's just looking at the radio. And he's saying to himself. What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? It's not about what you did. It's about what you didn't do. Not that you ask. I'm glad you asked. L-O-B. Glad you asked. No. I would never want a woman to not take my name. It means so much to me. Why don't we, if it's all about being one, why don't we choose a new last name together? What? We're just going to be Mike and Rebecca Fredrickson? We choose one. That's irrational. Why is that irrational? Well, it's nonsensical. It's about being one. There's nothing that makes sense about that. Because now we're starting a new family. But why would we have to pick a name if we already have my name? Then let's go with mine like Jack White did. Because we're not in a band with two people in it and we're totally eccentric. We're not eccentric over here. Maybe he was on to something.
Maybe he was on something. It worked so well they got divorced. Yeah. Please tell me that you would not do that. What? You would change your last name, wouldn't you? Yes, you would. No. I'm not changing my last name if the situation arises. I like my name. What if there's a law? Then I won't get married. It's a ridiculous law. Are you kidding? I'm not even so sure anymore that I do want to get married. Wow. All I hear are complaints. Just, you know, such a high divorce rate. So I'm kind of come to terms with it. Why do you lie, liar? Why are you being a shock jock right now? You're being a shock jock. What is the point, really? Why are you the way that you are? Because I...
You just, you practice the definition of insanity when you just, you know, you keep doing the same thing and you expect different outcomes. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. Appropriate. Oh, my God. I mean, I guess if there were a law, I'd probably. Yeah, it'd be called Lauren's Law. Lauren's Law. I'd probably take it on the chin and do it. Oh, easy. Get married to? What did he say? Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Would I get married too? Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes! What? Gosh! The implication was if there were a law and if I were getting married. So I don't understand why he asked that question. It was sexual. I'm reaching into a cup that says that's a true statement on it. Oh, boy. Good God. Keep this rolling. And it says...
If you wear a rosary around your neck as a fashion accessory and you're not a priest or a nun, you're a giant flapping douchebag. That's a true statement. Yes, Woods said that because I have one. No. You wear a rosary? You don't wear a rosary? I had one. No, you didn't. Yeah, remember? I got it in Maui. But you don't wear it. I did. You wore a rosary. It wasn't one that hung down outside your V-neck T-shirt. No, I didn't wear it outside. I wear a cross. But I don't wear it outside my shirt. You wear yours because it's the one that the guy from Kings of Leon has. That's true. And my dad has one. Now, where does he wear it? What? The rosary. Not a rosary. Isn't that what it says? This isn't a rosary. Woods wears a cross. That is the same one that the guy from Kings of Leon has. Yeah. I like it. My wife bought it for me. Like at the King shop? It's not. At the Kings of Leon store? It's a silver cross. I understand, but it's the same one from the Kings of Leon. Did she go to kingsofleon.com? No, she just saw what he had on in a video. And I said, ooh, I want it. And she bought it for me. But I mean, how? She went to a jewelry shop.
The Kings of Leon. No, you jackhole. So how is it exactly like the one? It's not. It's just a silver cross. There's a place called House of Leon. This is not the point. House of Leon. It's called House of Leon. It's called House of Leon. It's his tribute to the guy from King of Leon. But I'm talking about, you know what a rosary is? Yes. We've been discussing it. You're asking this guy. The guy that wears the v-neck shirt and the rosary hanging out of it. You're a douchebag. Yeah, I agree with that. Haven't seen it. Have you not? No. It's all the rage now. Is it? Yes. It's something that like Guido's wear. Or Ed Hardy guys. Or Ed Hardy guys. People only post on Facebook because they're insecure and looking for validation. That's a true statement. I'm one of them. I'm one of them. I admit it. I'm one of them. That's the only reason we do stuff on Facebook. We're insecure. That's not true. Yes, it is. You want validation for... Well, that is true. Name me something you post that you don't want either laughs, sympathy, or validation. I do charity stuff. I put charity stuff up there that I want to share. I do, too. I do, too. But I want validation from that.
I don't want validation. You do the charity for validation? No, but you put it on there because you want validation. Validation meaning people to sign up for the run that you're doing or the autism benefit. No, sometimes it's something I'm not even personally connected to. I just think I want to share it. Sometimes people share information without selfish values. That's what I'm doing. I'm just sharing funny stuff. Right. You want validation that you're funny. No, I'm not funny because I didn't produce the video. I'm with you. But the only reason I'm agreeing with you is because... I want validation. Just in general. That's it. We're all insecure. In general, I get really bummed when people don't like me. Absolutely. If you have a status that goes uncommented on or unliked. You feel like death. Great. I guess I'll just quit this Facebook thing. Seriously. That's why we do it. And I'm one of them. I'm not calling anybody out. I'm calling myself out. I'm one of them too. Now, do you believe that that is why Jamie or Kim or my wife, they do it for that reason too? My wife never posts. Ever. She responds to, but she never will post a status. Really? My wife's pretty secure. She doesn't need it. I don't think it makes people insecure. I think it does. I don't think it makes people insecure. She and Rebecca then strike me as insecure. I am insecure. People that are confident still like validation.
They have a reason to be confident. And I don't think anybody's... I don't believe... Okay, here's a true statement. Everybody's insecure. Yes, that is a true statement. Ella B., name somebody that you don't believe is insecure. They are insecure about something. Which would make them insecure. I guess you're right. I mean, if they're insecure about one thing, they're insecure. Now, I will tell you, I'm more insecure than your average Joe. As am I. Yeah. And... My wife said that besides me, the only person that she's ever met more sensitive than me is Ryan, my son. It's the only person more sensitive. You're a sensitive dude. I'm very sensitive. I am too, but it takes a lot to get through the fat. A lot. Once you get through that fat, though, you're done. Wow. You'll get a layer of blubber. Oh, boy. Like an Inuit's blubber. It's true. 570-1949. You can call my name. How about this one? If you refuse to discipline your kid, it proves you don't love them. That is a true statement. I agree. No. If you don't discipline your kid, and I don't care what your form of discipline is. It's time for a timeout. Bobby, it is time for a timeout.
Now you go in there and you spend three minutes alone. Still loves him. Yes. Love. If you don't discipline your kid. You don't care. You don't care. You're checked out. Hey, did you guys know those kids? Because I did. And they were freaking train wrecks. And their parents were train wrecks. Some people are scared to discipline. It doesn't mean they don't love. No. You know who doesn't discipline? No. I've seen plenty of young moms that. They're just like, eh. They feel like they're still a kid. They don't know how to parent. I know people that don't discipline a lot, but that doesn't mean they don't discipline. Like, I remember somebody that didn't discipline very much. She had her form of discipline, but the kids always won. I don't know that any parent doesn't discipline at all. Britney Spears, when she was jacked up, did not discipline her kids, I bet. You don't think she ever yelled at them? Does that count as discipline? She probably didn't even see them. Yeah. When she was jacked, you know what I'm saying? I think that there probably are. Right? I don't know. What about this? Guys that don't like football were beat up as kids. That's a true statement. I don't like football. Why not? It's boring. Why is it boring?
I just don't like it. It's so boring to watch. I like to play football. It's fun to go toss the football around. Now, Ella B., what is this based on? I think because there's guys that are like, they don't like watching the aggression because it reminds them of the guys that beat them up. That is the wildest? Yep. That is the wildest? It's the stupid barbaric sport. Wow! The barbaric bit. And it reminds them of when they were kids. And the quarterback that beat them up or the aggressive kids that would tackle them on the field and they couldn't defend themselves. See, because I'm like, man, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a dude that hasn't had his butt kicked once. I love boxing. I'm not talking about boxing. But I mean, wouldn't that be closer to something? I'm not talking about boxing, though. I'm talking about guys that don't like football. I'm talking about the comparison. But I'm not. Yeah. Well, football just is not. I was in tons of fights, and yes, I lost some, but it never had any effect on me about football. I never liked football. Well, if you, if we were to take you as the sample study, LOB's right. LOB would be correct. Those two facts are true. You don't like football, and you were beat up as a kid. They are two true facts. What if she's got something there, Woods? I kicked more ass than I ever took, but definitely picked fights with big guys.
Multiple guys at the same time, and most of them weren't on the football team. Guys on the football team were the coolest guys. I'm not saying everyone that got beat up got beat up by someone on the football team. I'm just saying they got beat up. I had my worst fight with a guy in band, so explain that. You're very defensive, Jay. He actually broke my rib and my nose. Sounds like you won that fight. No, I did not. That's fantastic. L.O.B. may have struck gold with that one. I disagree. 5-7-0-1-84-9. I didn't have Jay specifically in mind, by the way, but there's guys that like, what do you, oh, who cares about the NFL? It's so, oh. I'm like, it's okay. You can cry it out. Cry it out. I'm thinking of one other guy, and I know he was beat up for a fact, but I, it wasn't everybody. Cry it out. Everybody was. Everybody got the fight, they lost, yeah. Ella B still has brown widows and black widows. Gotta get some Raid. Why haven't you? I guess laziness. Fear. But isn't it more fear if you don't kill it? Fear of the unknown. Like, if I go in and spray, are they going to jump out and, like, get in my hair? I don't know what's going to... Am I going to poison the mailman? No. L.O.B. is a little on one. Listen to what's going on. You know, she's a little... She's a little on one. Spun out yesterday. Black and brown widow's in the mailbox. Can't find her house key. Lost her American Express card.
Doesn't know what she's going to do for Thanksgiving and doesn't know about any of the current would-be presidential candidates. And Matt, her boyfriend, walked in on her sitting in the dark watching Jersey Shore and eating chocolate in secret. Oh, my God. It was the most mortifying thing. My face was beet red. What is going on with you? What's wrong with you? What is happening? I don't know. I'm depressed, I think. Matt came over. He was supposed to get there at 545 yesterday. like barged in at 4.50. Barged. Barged in at 4.50 and I was in the dark with my laptop on my lap watching the Jersey Shore and eating chocolate. He was like, what's going on? What are you doing? I was like, what are you doing here? He's like, this is what you're doing. I'm not around. Yeah. She's sitting there with a Colt 45, like a 45 ounce Colt 45. She's got a King Cobra, a big bottle of King Cobra. St. Ides. St. Ides. Is there anything worse than someone walking in when you weren't expecting it? No. You'd be doing a lot worse stuff than watching Jersey Shore, though. I know that. Trust me. I'm just saying. Maintenance man will get you. Maintenance man only got you, bro. That's a one-time story. There's only one person in the world that happens to. No way. It's happened before. That's why you're the funniest scene in the movie. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Homesick. I'm homesick. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm homesick, man. I'll come back. I'll come back. You do the filters later. I'm so sorry about this.
I only need a few more minutes. Yeah, exactly. I just start from scratch. L.O.B. texted me last week and said, is depression, she goes, is your depression, what did you say? Contagious. Contagious. And I thought she was serious. I'm like, oh my gosh, L.O.B., are you okay? Blah, blah, blah. And she texted me back and she goes, I'm just kidding. Yeah. And now, I'm like, I feel better. Yeah, you're doing better. Oh, I do. I think you passed on to maybe L.O.B. and I. I'm thinking maybe it's the weather, maybe like the, The current economic climate. Really? Yeah. Maybe Aunt Flo's in town. No. Coming to town? Nope. On the way? At the airport? She's always coming to town. She's always about to be here. That's so beautiful. I'll let you know next time she is, Jay. She's so concerned. Oh, wow, wow, wow. I'm afraid. I'll take pictures for you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I went home and got right into bed, pulled the covers up over my head, and went to sleep yesterday. Maybe I share my medicine with you guys? Possibly. M1 Troy from La Jolla, are you there? Hello, Troy. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Hello. Yeah, you're there. Hey, you guys are talking about spraying for spiders. Yes. Absolutely do not do that. Oh, God. See? How come? Well, I have a couple customers in La Jolla.
I paint houses. And one of my customers' dogs was killed by a brown recluse spider. Her house is infested with them. Oh, my God. Yeah, they're all up under the roof tiles. You're letting them breed. They're breeding. Well, check it out. Check it out. She sprayed for spiders. Well, the brown recluse is kind of resistant. It's the most resistant to the sprays for some reason. It's just a strong spider. But there weren't brown recluses in California. Is there anything creator? Than a poison immune spider? Like, that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. Are they immune to Aquanet with a flame? Because that's what I will do. Yeah, what about Aquanet and a lighter? It gets worse. So if you spray for spiders, the spray is most likely going to kill all the other spiders on the house. It's going to leave a couple brown reclutes as well. The brown recluse feeds on dead spiders. The brown recluse is proliferating. And I've been on two houses now where I had to totally...
tape myself up and tape gloves onto my shirt sleeve because I was all paranoid. I bet you still felt like they were on you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Heebie-jeebies. But, yeah, don't spray the spiders. What am I supposed to do? There's widows in my mailbox. I hit them with a water hose. I did this just the other day. I washed all the eggs. I'm not a spider expert. That's just what I do now. Oh, if anybody knows, call us and tell us what you did. I don't have a hose that will reach. I sleep. What is that weather? Looks like a cotton ball outside. It does. Soup. It looks like Led Zeppelin's about to come on stage. On the hills of Ireland. Yeah. Well, either that or I thought it was like a smoke machine. Seriously. What's going on? It's crazy. Be careful driving out there. You guys driving in real slow today? Oh, yeah. So slow. I almost hit the wall. You did? I was like, whoa! Going too fast. Yeah, about 85. People should go like a normal speed, though. People who drive slow make it more dangerous. Well, dude, what I'm saying by slow is the speed limit. You should go like the speed limit. I came up on a guy that was going 40. Yeah. Oh, that's not wise. Your boy Jay yesterday. What? I was driving.
I was driving home, and I was in the fast lane, and I saw this little opening, and Jay was in the, not the middle, the next lane over. And he started to get over, and I cut his ass off so good. I wasn't real. I was just trying to make funny. I was trying to make you nervous. I looked right in his eyes. You did. I got you. And then you lost your mind and flew by, and he was in the slow lane, and he was all the way in the fast lane. I was like, what is he doing? What's his neurotic driver? Man. I had to get home. I had to go number two. Mike? Mike just passed out. I always think of that. I was hustling. I always think of that. You always have to go number two. Let's keep talking about it. No. He talks about it all the time. Let's not.
I was moving. You know the exit only lane for, believe it's, I believe it's Via Del Valle. That's it. I had to pass like 30 people. He did. I was like, where's the guy? Go to the gas station. What am I, sex pervert? That is a sex pervert move right there. Just walk in. Oh, I'm good. Just need the restroom. It's always. If you ever stopped at a gas station restroom and it was pristine and smelled like Lysol, you'd go, what the hell? Yeah, you'd go, what? Whoa! They're always hideous. Always. They're disgusting. Unless you're in Beverly Hills. No! Even in Beverly, in Dubai, in a golden building, it's disgusting. There's one on the way to Big Bear. You pull over and it's marble. I mean, it's in like the crappiest. gas station ever in their bathroom. It was like amazing. Got a slide door lock, all this nice lighting. Really? Oh, I like it. And it's super clean always. Maybe the guy who owned the gas station, this guy cheated on his wife, so he had some dirt on him, and he was like, you're putting in a marble bath. Right. Clearly. That's the only way. That must have been why. I'm thinking to myself, somebody that opens a gas station when it's opening day.
Right before they cut the ribbon, they go into the bathroom and they're like, well, we've got to jack this up. This ain't right. Can we get any junkies in here? Can we get some Mexican guys to write in calligraphy? There's a package of Sharpies on the sink. You guys have a ball. We need somebody to carve in the toilet seat itself. Somebody's doing that. Here's what we need. So you put all the stuff. You put a table. by the bathroom with all the instrumentation that you need. Sharpies. You need an ice pick. You need an ice pick to carve stuff, right? You need a hammer to knock off some of the back of the commode. And some of the surrounding tiles. Well, yeah, you need, and you also need a sledgehammer to hit the tile once. Once! You need a sledgehammer to one time on the tile go, BOOM! All caved in right there. You've never been there and there's one giant cave in as a hole. What happened there? You don't think about it. But I'm asking you two right now, where the hell did that come from? Someone's head. Yeah. I mean, what was that? There's so many times where you will walk into a public restroom and ask yourself, who?
Who? Why? I'm convinced that there's cameras in there every time I'm in there. Mike, the guys that run the joint are watching me right now. I'm convinced. Why? Because they're creeps. But you realize they will go to jail for a long time if they did that. Who's going to call shenanigans? You're in and out, and you're probably never in that place ever again. Oh, I know. Some dude got caught. in a Starbucks, right? He had planted it in there, and then he was coming back, and they had him on video. He would come back in, pick the thing up, and yeah, you got busted, man. You know, Starbucks are usually pretty nice, but you can only take care of one part of your business in there, because there's a lot of people in a Starbucks always. M1 Rude Dude, are you there? I'm here. What's going on? Yeah, you're right. I did have the... That reaction you said was like, what's going on here? Did I go to the wrong place? I was on a near-coast highway in Laguna Beach, stopped at the gas station. I was taking a drive up the coast. I'm talking marble countertops, high-end faucets. This place looked like the inside of a really nice hotel restroom. Really? Somebody should make a website.
Yeah, of clean restrooms. Nice Bathrooms. Yeah, an app. NiceBathrooms.com. I kind of just wanted to hang out there. It was so nice. You should have. Thank you for the call. Is there anything worse than when you have that... rectangular piece of plexiglass in your hand with a key on the end of it. After some guy just went deuce, took it back with his unwashed hand, then you grab it from the guy. And for some reason, the plexiglass is broken. It's shattered. Yeah, it's shattered. The plexiglass is shattered, and it's got the remnants of a sticker that somebody pulled off. And there's nothing to do with that but put it down somewhere, and it's not like there's counter space. No. So you're putting that key somewhere, and you're like, oh, great. whole thing somewhere. It's worse if it's wooden because then you know it's all seeped into the pores of the wood. And you take that thing and you put the key in the doorknob that's shaped like a tennis ball. It's metal and it's shaped like a softball. And it's loose. And you put the key in there and you go...
Come on, man. Come on. And you open that door and it hits you. Then someone's always jiggling the handle. Yes. Yeah, I call that Uncle Ted. I don't say anything. I don't say anything. Oh, you have to. No, it's locked. It's locked. You don't say a word. Then someone will say, oh, I need a key. Nobody's in there. It's true. It's called an Uncle Ted. The guy that tries to get in while you're doing your business. Just a minute. Yeah. I'm in here. Give me a second. You watch the handle and it's moving and you're like, oh boy. Oh boy, I hope it holds. Can you imagine if it didn't hold? Oh my God. I tried to put my foot... Dude! I tried to put my foot. If it's close enough, I put my foot on it as well. I'm like, all right. Are you guys... Wait, wait, wait. I think I told you guys this. Before Nita lived with us, we had that room was all by itself that Nita's in downstairs. And there is a bathroom there that goes to the outside. Well, we had a party one time. my wife was taking a tray inside and she threw something away outside and she was taking this tray back and used that door, opened that door, and there was a person sitting, I mean, right there. The door opens up and the toilet is right there. You can go need a door. Yes, and the person was sitting there and went, oh! And Rebecca went, sorry. Man or woman? Woman.
But still. That's not as bad. One's not as bad because they could be just doing something normal. Still, though, right? Something normal. Something normal? They're both normal. No, one's very not normal. One's vile. One's not normal. Are you guys in public restrooms, are you hoverers? I am not. I'm not a hoverer either. Well, I have to be. I mean, I'm in there all the time for that, for number one. Yeah, but you don't have to be. You have to hover. You can use the protective sheet fake bit. I never use those. I might get a toilet paper wad. I might do a wipe down. And then I'll just sit. I do the fake bit of the seat protector. And I hover. Just in case. You do both? I don't have the quad muscles to hover. I do, but who cares? What are you going to catch? Someone else's stuff. It washes off. I love that he had to make a point to go. I do. See, now, I have them muscles. I got them. I got the quads. I got the quads. I know. It's just like he's thinking out loud. Oh, man, that's it. That's it. Why don't I hover? That's an interesting thing. Why don't I? Because I've got more than enough quad muscles. I could probably hover the whole show. I could be at a 90 degree angle. For the entire show. Let's have a hover off. If I had.
to pee the Hoover Dam, it would be okay because I got the quad muscles to stay there for weeks. And I got the power to do it. And the power. And the power. And the power. Mindset. However. However, I want. Just sit. You'll be fine. Yeah, I've never got caught anything yet, as far as I know. Can't catch anything. Yeah, sometimes you catch a wet seat and that's disgusting. Well, that's why you do a one and a wipe off. You have to. If you don't, you're a sex player. How bad is this? When you see the wet seat when you walk in and you know you have to sit there. Ew. That's bad. When what? I go to the next one. That's what I do. Let's say it's a one banger only. And you walk in and you go. Droplets. And you see sprinkles. And you know that you're going to wipe it off. But you just know that you. Well, you use so much tissue that. It's still. It goes back to your mind. It doesn't get me. I'm afraid that even when I wipe it away, it's going to seep through the tissue onto my hand. then that's the same thing that happens when you get a spider with tissue. Toilet paper? Oh, yeah. I'm always afraid that the spider's going to break through. Even though it's physically impossible for the spider to touch you because it's in a wad of toilet paper. But why is it that every single one of us, and I mean me included, all of us, we pick up a spider in toilet paper, we're like, it's going to get my hand.
eat through this paper. It's under four inches of Charmin and we still think it's going to get us. I have, however, felt the crunch. That will get you. The crunch makes me, I feel like a murderer. I mean, I guess I am. Oh, I don't feel like a murderer. I'm just disgusted by it. Saw one in our hallway on the tile and was just bothered that I had to get it. Why don't they just know they're home? Yeah, stay where you go. Don't go inside. This is for people. You guys do your thing. Hey, there's no flies in here. There's more flies out there. I wish I didn't have to do this, but... I'm not outside building webs, all right? No, you stay where you are. Hey, have I gone to your web and tried to put an office in? Yeah, exactly. I don't do that. Exactly. So why don't you keep your webs outside? Do I catch cheeseburgers in your web? No. I don't think so. I would if I could. Liberty went to the mailbox the other day. She stuck her hand in to grab the mail and came back with a spiderweb all over it. She goes, oh, spiderwebs. There must be a spider in there. I go out there. It's a brown widow, and I can see it up underneath the lip.
So I kind of knock it down, and I'm trying to kill it with a stick, and it's sitting on the door of the mailbox. I push down really hard, the stick snaps, and it throws the spider up on top of my head. I whip my shirt up. I'm whipping it around. Oh, my gosh. I'm standing out in the street. Kim pulls up in the car right as I'm going crazy in the street. She's like, what are you doing? Dude. And you know what? They never did find a spider. Yeah. That's what sucks is you don't know where it is. The other day. It's in my shoe. It's hiding somewhere. It's over. The other day, I was driving window down, and I turned the corner, and I thought I felt something on my T-shirt. And I, you know, like where the t-shirt sleeve. Where the hole is. Yes. And so I go, oh! You know, and I brush. And then my mind is like, what was it and where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? That's one of the most dangerous things when you're driving. Oh, yeah. The bug attack. The bug attack. Is there anything grosser than the bug on the window, on the windshield? I just, I do the overload of fluid. Yep. The overload. Where you waste.
Almost your entire four gallons of windshield fluid. I am always on windshield fluid. Always. Oh, that does not surprise me at all. M1, Alyssa? Is it Alyssa from Escondido? Yep, that's me. Hi. What's going on? This is about the bathroom segment. Like, you know, we all expect the gas stations, you know, it has a stigma. They're gross. But what about these restaurants, bars, and clubs that we go to continuously? I even dress around. I know there's one bar in particular at Encinitas. But I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to wear skinny jeans and heels because I don't need my pants dragging in that bathroom. You know what, though? You just gave me an idea. If you're opening a new club, you should have, you would probably be a very popular club.
If you had two bathrooms for each sex. Oh, yeah, dude. There's always a line. There's always a line, which is what makes it gross. Part of what makes a bathroom bad is it's used too much. Oh, yeah. It's not meant for that many people to use it. It's just crazy. Yeah. Go ahead. I guess this is the best story. I actually stopped going to this place. So I go to this place, and I've been there multiple times, and I'm like, okay. The most beautiful people frequent this place in Encinitas. I'm like, okay, like there's two Brazilian models in front of me. I'm not joking. Like even I was mesmerized. Yeah. And I'm like, you know, listening to their accents and stuff, but I'm actually so repulsed at the bathroom and the way that it is. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like at my phone and these girls are all talking, whatever. I look up on my phone and they are going number one in the sink. Seen it. My wife has seen it. Disgusting. I've seen it.
They let it happen. That takes a particular constitution to be able to do that. They walk out of the bathroom. Obviously, they're very attractive girls. I was lucky. I was the third one behind them. Everyone was looking at them. Now, I realize that maybe they're very lightweight, but that wouldn't break the sink. Hoverman. No. It's a low seat. I have a feeling I know what place she's talking about. Think of the things that go on on the counter. They're wearing flats and lots of linen, too. I'm like, how would you wear linen to a disgusting bar? What is linen? Linen. Thin material. Thin cotton, very obvious. Tommy Bahama makes some linen shirts. Woods just looked at me like I asked what a fork is. Linen? Linen, bro. It's linen. What is linen? I've heard the word linen. Is that linen behind you? No. What is it? That's like a polyester cotton blend. Linen. You never had linen pants?
No! They're very thin and breathable. They were the stuff back in the day. Back in what day? Back when I was in college. That was like you're going out. Like, hey, we're wearing our linen pants tonight. I never was friends with any guys that wore linen pants. Is it see-through material? No, it's not see-through. Kind of. It's sheer. It's kind of see-through. It's not see-through. It's not a manly fabric. Oh, it's pretty pimp. More in the right way. Okay, Alyssa, give me a true statement. If you're a girl and you go pee-pee in the sink, you are... Disgusting. I like that. I think that's a true statement. I think that's a true statement. All the guys were staring at these girls all night. I mean, that's how beautiful they were. They had pixie haircuts and tan skin, and I was just like, are you kidding me? It would gross me out. I don't care how beautiful the girl is. If that girl is a sink pier... I'm disgusted by her. I'm strangely turned on. Jay probably too. I saw it at a frat house and the bathroom line was too long so she went in the kitchen. This girl popped up in the sink and went. She had a skirt. She just hiked up where you couldn't see and she's like... College doesn't count. I peed in places that were not receptacles. I peed in a bar. In a bar. We all have. Can't say what.
You can't. What? Not in a... It was at the bar. Oh, yeah. Oh, I know what you're saying. You can't. And I stopped you before with that, too. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. You can't say that. Really? No! What's the difference in that and a toilet? I'll explain. I'll explain. I'll tell you. 570-1949. M1, Mike, are you there? Me. Go ahead. I'm from Minnesota, and I just had some thoughts on that bathroom segment. I figured I'd share something that I know that people in my high school used to do that I'd hear about them doing because they'd brag about it, and all of us used to think it was the grossest thing. Hang on a second before you tell this story. Okay. Because our girl, Nicole, she's new at this. She may not know all the rules when it comes to this particular topic. Nor do I. Well, you know.
There are very particular rules, so just tread lightly and hang on the line. The Mikey Show. Call them 570-1949 or text them 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. One of the most anticipated annual concerts is back. The FM 94.9 Holiday Hootenanny presented by Coors Light. Saturday night, December 3rd at Jenny Craig Pavilion on the University of San Diego campus. Starring the band heralded by Rolling Stone, Spin, Pitchfork, and the New York Times as the best live band in America. My Morning Jacket. Morning Jacket. Also featuring Two Door Cinema Club. That and Kim. Delta Spirit. And the Blackout Party tickets are on sale now.
Get yours at tickets.com, the Jenny Craig Pavilion box office on the USD campus, or FM949SD.com. The FM949 Holiday Hootenanny 2011 is presented by Coors Light and supported by Spy Optics. Join us on Saturday night, December 3rd for an epic evening of music with FM949. Classic American nostalgia rolls into town when Good Guys returns to the Del Mar Fairgrounds. November 25th, 6th, and 7th. Good Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals Car Show presented by McGuire. Three days of over 1,500 candy-colored cars and trucks, plus vendor exhibits, a mega swap meet, cars for sale, live entertainment, model car show, a way cool surf woody exhibition, the Tiger Screech and Good Guys Autocross, and so much more. And don't miss the Super Sunday Get-Together, open to all years American-made and powered vehicles. The perfect event for the entire family. The Good Guys Fall Del Mar Nationals presented by McGuire. November 25th through the 27th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Get details and purchase your tickets today at good-guys.com. Get $3 off general admission when you bring a new unwrapped toy to the event in association with Toys for Tots and the Wounded Warriors program. M1 Bandit, are you there? Here. Bandit, you called AIS. I sure did.
I got fed up with my insurance carrier. They sent me a notice in the mail saying they were going to cancel me if I didn't renew membership. So I got on the phone, stepped up, called AIS. I saved $850 a year. That's the renter's insurance that I got for $94 a year with a $500 premium and a $25,000 coverage on that as well. How long had you heard me talking about AIS? The past two years now. That's it, man. I mean, most people are just like you. They hear me talk about AIS, but it just takes a while before you go, you know what, I've got to do it. Yeah, and I've got to tell you, it was the best move I could have made. $850 a year is a huge savings to us, and I think like everybody else, we're tightening up our belts and trying to save money, and this is a great way to do it. They definitely saved me. 1-800-777-4247. Thank you, M1 Bandit. I appreciate it. You guys have a great day. You too.
Cricket Wireless presents Obvious Life Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take friends. You can go with whatever. Dude, can I move in until I get a live? Or the best ever. Take my car. It's too red and too fast for the likes of me. And when it comes to wireless plans, will it be unlimited dullness or unlimited funness with Cricket? Right now, get nationwide unlimited talk, text, and data on the latest Android-powered smartphones for just $55 a month. Download your favorite apps and games like Facebook, Shazam, and Angry Birds for one low rate. And there's no contract. The choice just makes itself. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for planned data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Want to switch wireless companies but don't want to lose your number? Hurry and bring your number with you to your nearest cricket store and get an Android-powered smartphone starting at $39.99 while supplies last. You'll get a better phone, but it'll still be you. Offer in soon, so hurry in today. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy, and bear with me for a sec. Oh, mamacita. Christmas come early, boys and girls. Guess what I just opened? I just opened my new Ovation.
Men's Max Pack. That is right. It is for men as well. My wife Jamie was turned on to Ovation a while ago. Her hair looks fantastic. It looks better than it's ever looked. So I wanted to get in on the action. I've been using it. Now I've got the Men's Max Pack. So I'm going to be using it forever. If you're looking for a special stocking stuffer to give to a good friend, a lover, a buddy. Get them Ovation, okay? It's Ovation Cell Therapy. Beautiful, healthy hair. Thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. Here's what you got to do. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. That's right. Go to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout. Oh, I did not mean to do that. Jim. Jim, if you don't mind me saying so, your surgical skills have been a tad uneven lately. Ugh, it's these energy drinks. First couple hours, I'm like, slicing torsos like carpaccio, and then bam, energy crash. I mean, how do you do it, Dave? You're as sharp as the scalpel in my hand. It's called alternative energy, and it's made by Function Drinks. It's all-natural formula gives me steady, sustained energy that tastes great. Not like those scary little shots that are filled with who knows what.
Ah, and the spleen is out. You know you're a dentist, right? Oh man, I gotta try alternative energy. Function. Alternative energy. It's the delicious, healthy energy drink that lasts up to eight hours with a formula of natural stimulants that kicks in at different stages. So when one is wearing off, another is just starting and there's no crash. Function. Alternative energy is energy with the brain. Get it at CVS, Ralph's, Sprouts, and Whole Foods markets. Buy, lease, and service your Volkswagen at South Bay Volkswagen on the mile of cars in National City. You can lease a new 2012 Passat S manual for only $239 plus tax for 36 months and zero down during the sign-then-drop. See dealer for details. But that's not all. With every 2012 car purchased, you will become a member of the exclusive South Bay Volkswagen Loyalty Club. You will receive over $1,200 in savings included. Free lifetime oil changes only at South Bay Volkswagen. Visit South Bay Volkswagen for details.
Sale ends November 30th. South Bay Volkswagen on the mile of cars in National City. Visit BWSouthbay.com. MSRP 20,765. Residual value 18,900. With zero down plus drive-offs. 10,000 miles per year. 20 cents excess mileage. Based on approved credit. Excludes government and acquisition fees. No security deposit. Introducing the Droid Razor by Motorola. Exclusively from Verizon. The ultimate power of Droid. The legendary Edge of Razor combined to form the thinnest 4G smartphone. Reinforced like a concrete bunker behind a mile of thick bedrock, this droid shows no weakness. A scratch-resistant face armored with Corning Gorilla Glass. A backplated with laser-cut Kevlar fiber. Inside, water-repellent nano-coating protects circuitry. And it's powered by the mind-melting speed of Horizon 4G, the fastest and most reliable 4G network in America.
The Droid Razor. Thin is no longer frail. Get the new Droid Razor by Motorola. And for a limited time, get twice the data for the same low price when you buy a new 4G smartphone. Visit any Verizon store today, droiddos.com, or call 1-800-256-4646. Double your data applies to data packs 2 gigabytes or higher. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash bestnetwork. No matter what you're in the mood for, the all-new BK Toppers burgers have got what you want at a price you'll love. Try the Western Barbecue Deluxe Cheeseburger or the Mushroom Swiss for only $1.99 each. More beef, more value. Only at Burger King. Limited time only. Price and participation vary. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. Right. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Keep the voting coming. Hopefully you will make the Mikey show. Fox 5's most popular morning show in San Diego. Go to facebook.com slash Mikey show. And it's called the R factor. And put a vote in for me. They're not saying my name over the other station. Why is that? Because if they do, then people would know that I'm here. And some people still don't know. I know.
Which shocks me. Yeah, I got a message the other day. That people don't know. Asking me, how come you're on both stations? I'm not. What? What does that mean? I thought he was over at Rock 105.3. No. I've been there for two years. Two years. And they don't say my name because they would much rather believe, have people believe that I'm just gone. Yeah. That I left. I screwed over this girl pretty bad. A bunch of years back, I don't say her name either. You know, just one of those deals. It's kind of hard to say her name even. I screwed her over so bad. But if you go to facebook.com slash Mikey show, you can vote. It hurts you to say it? Yeah, I really just took it to her, you know. This kind of ruined her life. You depressed her, but you didn't ruin her life. No, I was talking about me. Yeah, you sent her into a... Like a tailspin. Yeah, you sent her into a tailspin and a depression. She's probably better off now. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Well, she definitely is. She's way better off now. She definitely is. But she probably takes Lexapro. She may take Lexapro. I mean, I bet she does. I mean, I was a jerk. You were a jerk. I was a jerk. Was? You probably gave her a lot of issues.
Yeah, I bet she sometimes projects her old relationship on you. Yeah. Because she is afraid. I don't speak with her. Under her new relationship, she projects the problems that she had with Woods. Right, onto her new husband. Because she's paranoid that you're going to cheat on her. Like Woods did. Which is not fair to her. It's not fair. It's not fair to her. It's not fair to the new husband. The new husband is pretty rad. Yeah, he's funny and talented. And understanding. He's very understanding. He's been understanding for a couple of years now. From what we hear about her and him. From what I would assume. Yeah, even though sometimes the husband tests that chick to the end of her freaking rope. That girl. But he is a good man. Yes, he's got a good heart. And a good heart, and the girl loves him a lot. The girl loves him. The girl loves him. Right. So in this story, you're the girl, Mike, and Woods is the man? What? What? Is that how it works? No. No. I was just talking about this ex-girlfriend of mine. He is a good friend and a lover. You guys should just kiss. I didn't say that. Put your tiny hand in mine. She's powered down. Touch my body. Touch my body.
Jay, I hate you. We met to each other. Those are the most embarrassing clips. You and I should go get a slice of pizza after. Yes. We'll go to the pizza. No, you know what we'll do? We'll do Lady and the Tramp. We'll get a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. You know what I heard's an aphrodisiac? Oh, what are those things that come on a hat shell? They're in the shell. Oh, that's right. They are an aphrodisiac. What is it? Oysters. Yeah, you guys should go get some of those. Oysters. Yeah, they're good. Does Pizza Port have oysters, Mike? What would you call Pizza Port? What would you call that place? Is that like... Oh. Not loaded. Gosh darn, he's a snake. He's a freaking snake. You creep. You didn't load it. You're a hillbilly snake. I'm a news guy. I'm doing news in here. That's going to be the new bit. Hey, I'm a producer. I do news. God. I mean, what else can I do? I've got my news glasses on. Plenty of audio that he loaded this morning. Plenty. This one was already done for you. Just had to drag and drop.
Hopefully she gets put in the general populace. General populace. There, I got it now. I got it now. It's general. General populace. There we go. There. There it is. There it is. Sounds real good to get it right. Seventies. Where are you? Where are you at? Seventies. Tim Conway and Don Knox flick. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. He's my favorite. Video game for the Nintendo. Yeah, I bet she backs out and he's like, well, see, I showed you. See? Yeah, I bet she backs out and he's like, well, see, I showed you. See? Yeah, I bet she backs out and he's like, well, see, I showed you. See? All right. Peanutity. Doesn't say that I shall not kill. Nope. It doesn't. A flea flicker. Montanya. Got a statement? Field gold kicker. That's a lot of Mikey's coin. Coin slot at the Mikey-thon. Aston Kutcher. Aston Kutcher. Aston Kutcher. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it.
I boned Ashton Kutcher. Oh, boy. I was seduced by Ashton. Which was it? Which was both? It was both. One was a result of the other. I boned Ashton Kutcher. Why would I have ever said that? We were talking about that girl. We were talking about the girl that he did. Oh, that's right. And we were speaking from her point of view. From her point of view. Like, hey, I'm not going to say it, but. Sometimes I hear the clips of me and I'm like. What did I say that for? The tacos and burritos one? I'm still like, I rack my brain thinking of when you did that. You were in a character when you did it. He was in the character of his old self. So I'm actually, it is me. You're doing an imitation of your former self. I hope I'm lightheaded. Perfect. That's just perfect. Oh, it hurts. 570-1949 is our number. We don't have the R-Factor link up. We've got to put the R-Factor link. You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. Yes, that's right. A journey into a building and a radio station where actual fire drills take place on the air. Your next stop, the Lincoln Financial Zone. It doesn't matter. Turn that off and I bet it's still you can hear it.
Yeah, you can. Jay has to come in here because he can't keep his microphone open. And above our head is a flashing strobe light. Yeah, I hope nobody's epileptic. Epileptic, yeah. Yeah, anybody have any candy necklaces and pacifiers? Yeah, I guess some of my bag, but we can't get to it. Super. Well, we are professional broadcasters. We can't go. That's right. So I guess instead... What we'll do is... I think we have to break for commercials. It's safety. Is it done? Yeah. That's it? Oh. That's it? Still going? Still going. I don't know. Anything else you want to talk about? Ooh, what is that, Woodsy? Don't know what you got till it's gone. It's a true statement. That's right. That's a true statement. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949.
More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Don't wait for Black Friday. BMW Encinitas is bringing Black Friday to you. Shop now to get great deals on every new BMW in stock, like a new 2012 BMW 528i for only $4.99 a month. That's right, a 528i for only $4.99 a month. Fully equipped. with navigation, heated seats, 32 MPGs, and much more. And Alma Fong. Receive a complimentary dinner for two at the Coronado Firehouse with every test drive. Only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com. 36 month lease, 49.50 plus tax and license due at signing, $0 security deposit, 10K miles per year, 20 cents per excess mile, approved above average credit, limit one dinner per household. Based on 2011 EPA mileage estimates used for comparison purposes only. Do not compare to models before 2008. Your actual mileage will vary depending on how you drive to maintain your vehicle. Five of this offer must finance with BMW Financial Services. Offer expires end of the month.
It's Magenta Saturday at T-Mobile, where you can beat the Black Friday crowds and get amazing deals on every smartphone in the store. Wait, did you say every smartphone? Yes, every smartphone. What about the new Samsung Galaxy S2? Yep, like I said, every smartphone is on sale. And you only pay $49.99 toward that new Samsung Galaxy S2. Okay, how about those new HTC smartphones, like the Amaze and Radar Windows phone? Yes and yes, T-Mobile's great selection of the latest Android, Windows, and BlackBerry smartphones are all on sale for one day only this Saturday. Oh yeah? What about... Yep, the G-Slate tablet is on sale, too. Even T-Mobile's 4G hotspot. Okay, you just blew my mind. T-Mobile's Magenta Saturday one-day event. Our newest, fastest smartphones, tablets, and more are on sale. Even the latest 4G smartphones. Hurry into your T-Mobile store this Saturday, November 19th to get great deals on our best 4G devices. Qualifying plan, new two-year contract, and mail-in rebate card required. Galaxy S2 is $20 per month for 20 months after down payment. 0% APR and approved credit at participating stores. We know you've got a lot on your plate at Thanksgiving, which is why Vons has everything you need to get it all done. All for a great value. And this week when you use Vons Club, save extra. Get an amazing price on your Thanksgiving turkey. Eight to 12-pound Safeway frozen turkeys are just $7 each with Vons Club. Limit one with an additional $25 purchase, while supplies last. Get a Vons favorite. Tender, juicy, rancher's reserved New York strip steak. Bone in is only $4.77 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack.
Five-pound bags of Satsuma mandarins are just $3.88 each. A gallon of pantry essentials or dairy glen milk is only $3.19 each. Selected varieties. Buy two 12-packs of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or 7-Up and get two of equal or lesser value free. Plus CRV in California. Selected varieties must buy four. Don't forget the snacks. Buy one bag of Lay's Classic or Lay's Kettle Chips and get one of equal or lesser value free. Selected sizes and varieties. Be grateful for all the good stuff. And get great values when you stock up on even more of it. Vons, ingredients for life. This holiday season, give your loved one the gift that keeps on giving. Giving off alert signals. Like those in the 2012 E-Class with an attention assist system that can actually help alert drivers if it detects signs of drowsiness. Come into the Mercedes-Benz Winter Event now and get the Mercedes-Benz you've always dreamed of for a price you never dreamed possible. Now get the 2012 E350 Sport Sedan, part of the Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car category. for just 1.9% APR for 37 to 66 months, or a lease price of only $599 a month for 30 months with $4,369 due at signing. But hurry, offers ends soon. The Mercedes-Benz Winter Event. May all your holiday wishes come true.
Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through November 30, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hone Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. His snow globe gets 24 inches of fresh powder annually. Regardless of temperature, you can never see his breath. His turducken consists of a duck inside a chicken. inside a turkey, back inside the original duck. He has never relied on mistletoe. His New Year's resolutions would blow your mind. That's why he doesn't tell anyone. He is the reason those nine ladies are dancing. One should never shake his gifts. Just trust me on this one. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. There really aren't any good excuses to miss NBC's all-new Comedy Thursday, which includes a brand new episode of The Office. Actually, that is a valid reason. Unless... I know it's wrong to fake going into labor just to get out of things. But sometimes it's necessary. Well played, Pam. Well played. All new community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and the new hit comedy, Whitney, plus Prime Suspect. Tonight, starting at 8 on NBC7 San Diego. Then tonight on the News at 11. Inside the secret life of a housewife turned drug dealer. How she smuggled dope, then became a government snitch. And why she winds up begging for her life, a gun to her head. Drug Smuggler Mom. Tonight on NBC7 San Diego News at 11. Then tomorrow morning at 5 a.m., who wins tickets to Disneyland and free groceries? Plus, Jody's Weekend Weather Planner, tomorrow at 5 a.m. on NBC7's San Diego News in the morning.
San Diego, Kearney Mesa Subaru is under renovation and has to reduce inventory to make more room. So come in now and save during their construction sale. Lease a new 2011 Subaru Forester 2.5X automatic for just $169 per month plus tax. Your friends will love the look of your hot new ride and how little you paid. At just $169 per month, it includes cruise control, keyless entry, and power windows. Combine that with high MPGs and low APRs and you could save big. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection. Plus, we're San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. And we're centrally located on Convoy Street in Kearney Mesa. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru construction sale going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego. Or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. A Sunrow dealership. 2011 Forester lease model BFBs for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter and 6,650 due at least signing. No security deposit unapproved above average credit. When is this payment? Fin 783438. Number one claim based on 2010 Subaru sales. At Romano's Macaroni Grill, he's into the new fresh pasta de mare, and he's keeping those tender shrimp, mussels, and scallops all to himself. Come on, buddy. Give the lady a bite. She might return the favor. Introducing the 25 new menu items at Romano's Macaroni Grill. Come on, man. Wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be.
A dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. There's still a fire drill going on. I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious. I'm jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. He is a gay man.
Mikey Sound Effects Remix. Hope you enjoyed. Hope you enjoyed. That SOB finally finished. That's right. Good. Your strobe light was tripping me out. It's giving me a headache. The strobe light was just going off in our eyes. I don't do LSD anymore, so. Anymore. Let's see. Woods is finally getting that fryer cut off of his head. How about that? I'm going to feel so good tomorrow. So what are they going to do? You tell me. Oh, wow, man. I think you're going to have to go down to a number two. She'll cut it kind of short. There's nothing she can do with the bangs here? I don't think so, bro. Gosh darn it. She just got it shaved months ago. Yeah, I think she's going to have to cut it down to real short. That looks like the top of your head where the fryer cut was, it looks like you took a number two to it. Yeah, I think Jay did a number two on it. So it's been a while.
Yeah. It'll be a challenge for her. She's really good at what she does, but there's no way she's ever done a head of hair like this today. There's no way. They don't even give you that in, like, last day of haircutting school for your final test. Is it weird if you have the same exact thing to have for dinner, like, three nights in a row? Is that weird? Yeah. Have the same thing the last three nights, and I enjoy it. What did you have? A couple little... Hawaiian rolls, and Rebecca got me a rotisserie chicken, and I peel it apart with my fingers and make little tiny Hawaiian roll sandwiches. You know, that's interesting because that's what I want to have. Gosh, darn. Just a couple? They're little. They're like rolls. They're little rolls. I know what they are. That's what I'm saying. Just a couple? I had three. I ordered a Hawaiian sandwich last night, and they were at a freaking Hawaiian bread. At this honey baked ham store. How can you possibly. I was so bummed. Honey baked. How can you possibly. Honey baked. Ham. Be out of Hawaiian rolls. I don't know. I was furious. So then I had to get on sourdough. Ham. You like ham?
I love ham. Ham. Do you love it, though? Yeah, but do you love it? Is this an old bit? Yes. Did you recognize that? I've heard you talk about it before. Over every day. Always talking about ham or Massachusetts or something. You're always talking. You're always talking, Mike. He's a real beating, isn't he? Pinellar, Harper. Who, me? He's making a reference. Is that another reference? Another reference, yeah. It's not like I'm your manservant. All right. We wouldn't know. All right. We weren't on board then. You guys can just relive the old days. Again. Just wish for better times. Mike just hoping he gets beat by B-Rob real good. Just because that's his guy. Yeah. You know. You monster. You are a monster. So give anything that he calls him and says, hey, we just joined forces. Yeah. Me and you. How dare you. I mean, we're the two most popular guys on San Diego radio. This is like Superman working with Batman here, all right? It's not funny! It's so clear to me now. No one else from my show was even nominated. Right. How? Right. How dare he?
That is so. You guys just want to talk about ham and piggies and all kinds of stuff. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Manservants. Manservants. Old Harper. Old Harper. Tough love. Tough love. But anyway, yeah, they ran out of Hawaiian roles. Why don't you just love me? I do. Can you just try it? I'd ask the same from you to me. Yeah. You know, I would ask the same. I love you, Michael. Thanks. I love when Woods and I are on the same page. Yeah, seriously. What's up, dude? I love you, Michael. Thank you. I love you, Michael. Thank you, Mikey. What was that? Former presidential candidate John McCain. Nice. He thanks me. You, on the other hand, just hate me. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you, Mr. McCain. Thank you. This is a clip from your old show. I have a KILZ t-shirt on. How dare you? Chaos? It's a rock hat on. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. What? Initial CC tattooed on your chest. Now, that one is not true. That is not true. That one, I do not. The rest is true. The other ones, yeah, but I don't have that. I can't expect people to believe that. A little too far. Let's see. 5701949.
Hillary cannot come in and do her regular crossover because she had to stay in her studio. We have to stay put. Still? Yeah. That's what I hear. Yeah, you've got to stay put. I'm napping here until 1 o'clock. It was a test. They were doing a test of our system. It was only a test. Yes. So everybody had to do a testing of the system and evacuate the building, and then everybody has to be counted. And as soon as that's done, we are good to go. But until then, we have to stay. Did we ever talk about the bullet that hit the White House? We did not. I mean, it was sort of a non-event because nothing really happened. Nobody got hurt. And they don't really know what the deal is. They arrested a cat. Oh, yeah. The cat's been arrested. Yeah. What was the deal? A man was arrested after two bullets. Jay is, by the way, not only did he say, I can do the news. Not only did he say that, but he's got on spectacles. Yes. So I could see the very fine print. Go ahead, Jay. A man was apparently obsessed with President Obama, and he was arrested by the Secret Service after two bullets struck the White House, hit ballistic glass. One hit the ballistic glass. The other one they didn't report where they found it. But they found him about 55 miles away from the White House. He did not resist arrest.
He's had mental issues before. You think? Yeah, weird. Firing off AKs? And his family actually reported him missing, and he'd been picked up by the police before, but they just took a picture of him and let him go, and then they figured out that he was the one responsible for all the shenanigans. Wow. There you go. Don't forget, tomorrow at about 8.10, I'm going to tell you the rest of that. Shouldn't be a live story. Left you with a little cliffhanger. Also, there was a... It was a movie that just popped in and out of my brain. The Netflix. I love the Netflix. I just got it, and I love it. L.O.B. thinks that I'm going to run out of documentaries, but I haven't so far. They're like an ex-girlfriend that cheated on me, and I'm not taking them back. You... Next girlfriend?
Go on. You will take them back. I was very loyal to Netflix. Netflix stabbed me in the heart. But then they realized and they reversed course. Sometimes it's too late. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Sometimes there's other fish in the sea. There you go. Show us your cans as tomorrow. Tomorrow. And we are going to be trying to raise food for the hungry. And we're doing it through a canned food drive, industrial size scale out there for the person that brings the most cans. Be weighing them. Yes. Show us your cans. And the person that... Is that what that is? Yep. Show us your cans. It's like Trojan Man. Show us your cans. Show us your cans. He's special. He's a special guy. Show us your cans. You recorded yourself saying, show us your cans? Yep. Show us your cans. It's like Trojan Man. Show us your cans. We want to see him. San Diego. Sure, sure, cans. Can I just tell you guys? I have gone the entire week on the air, read the information about that canned food drive probably ten times over the course of the last five days. Not once have I said the name of it. Oh, my gosh. Look at that. How dare you? That is awesome. Of course not. It's a hill to hill. It was Jay's idea. Jay's idea. I'd say there's an awesome canned food drive. That is funny. It's Jay's idea.
Of course. And bring your canned food down. Of course it was Jay's idea. Well, the person that brings the most cans is going to get four tickets to the Hootenanny, limo ride to the Hootenanny. Huge. And also, Randall down at Dave & Buster's, he really liked the idea. he's throwing in a $500 party at Dave & Buster's. Really cool. And autograph stuff from the bands playing. That's right. I mean, swag. That is a lot of reason to bring down some cans. I mean, it's already a good idea because you're feeding the hungry for Thanksgiving, but it's also good because... You can get that. And the San Diego Food Bank could use the help. You're hearing about food banks around the country having to shut down temporarily because they are out of food or they're running so low on it. Let's show up. Please help. Thanks to our friends at FestQuest for providing the limo. That's right. What do you got coming up, Hill? Oh, I just grabbed a couple things because I just had to walk up seven flights of stairs. Oh, my God. Wow.
A little winded. So I grabbed the new Black East record. We were huffing and puffing by. And I just got back from the gym, but I was like, really? Forget it. I wouldn't have made it. No. I grabbed Matt and Kim. I had Chris Tucker next to me. He's one of our promotion students. And I just was listening to him talk. I was like, keep talking. Just keep talking. I'm going to keep noticing you. Keep talking. Keep talking. Oh, wow. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and the mic is going to be back tomorrow morning at 6. Late? Good. I don't know.